Page 7 - Second Helpings - The Melancholy of Existence

Episode Date: May 22, 2026

On this weeks second helpings, MJ and Jackie are talkin' 'bout the film of the year "The Sheep Detectives" and how it might have brought a tear to James' eye (shhh, don't tell anyone), a new trailer for the Jimmy Stewart film staring KJ Apa and it sure is something, plus MJ's graduating from grad school! Clay Aiken has new music and it does NOT change anything for MJ (or so they say) and speaking of watching someone sleep, Jackie went to watch "Obsession". MJ successfully convinced Gideon to watch "Widows Bay", Jackie reports that "Remarkably Bright Creatures" was beautifully done, and Jessica Simpson spoke out to clear the air and throw her mom directly under the plane wheels when it came to her being in first class sans kids. Paul Hollywood got pulled over racin' to get his cat to the vet, and MJ watched the documentary "The Crash" on Netflix, Jackie also watched "The Devil's Wears Prada" and she says it's a PRADAuct of its time, plus even more on this week's Second Helpings! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Oh, and it will be because we are over here talking movies already. What are we going back in the day over here? I know, honestly, we all know here at Second Helpings, we do kind of, it's kind of loosely still talking TV. Yeah. Because we always want to be talking about what's going on out there. And honestly, Adam, MJ and I were just sitting here talking about movies to such an extent that we're like, let's start rolling. Why don't we just start talking into the microphone about it if we're talking about movies as much? Yeah.

Well, you are Mrs. Movie. Thank you. I'll take it. I'm married to Mr. Movie and he beats me, but only where people can't see. He doesn't. I am Netflix trash,

and I do have a Netflix trash documentary to discuss, but we'll table that. We'll do that later. Mrs. Movie and Netflix trash coming to you next season. Of what? My hell.

Now, you really want to talk about the sheep detectives, and I'm looking at the cover of the sheep detectives. I don't know if I really want to talk about sheep detectives. I feel like you're putting that in my mouth. You are talking about sheep detectives. You're putting boss in my mouth right now. I'm looking at, I'm just going to, for anyone who hasn't seen the poster for sheep detectives, I'm looking at a picture of Hugh Jackman, surrounded by sheep. She's got a big smile on his face. There's like 35 people in this movie. Sheep. They're all standing there. And every person in the movie, it is such a, it's such a stacked cast. Yeah, Brian Cranston, Julia Louise Reiface. Brett Goldstein, Bella Ramsey. Patrick Stewart. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Emma Thompson. Yeah. The hottie from the bear. Molly Gordon. Honey from the bear. Yeah, that's nice. What am I looking at, Jackie?

What's going on? I'm going to say that I've been within our movie friends, we've got a little group. We've got like the six of us that a lot of us go. Oftentimes, if the six of us are available, we all go see. movies together and we've seen this trailer for sheep detectives multiple times and we've made many jokes about sheep detectives because it is all about something happens to Hugh Jackman and all the sheep are trying to figure out what happened and that is at and so so so your face is why we've made so as many jokes we've been and then also across from the AMC 16 there's this huge billboard

that is like right there of huge, Hugh Jackman's face, and all of the sheep. And it's like right where we stand to smoke weed in front of the movie theater. So we're always staring at it talking about sheep detectives. And then the reviews for sheep detectives started coming in. People were like, sheep detectives is the best movie I've seen all year. Like people have just been. I know. And I'm not here trying to like miniature wife on your sheep detectives.

I'm here. I'm not, though, because we've made so many jokes, but that everyone said that it's a great movie. And I think that this is wonderful. We almost went to go see it. I'm not against the movie. I just, in my brain, it has become such a joke that I'm like, there's no way this movie is good. But apparently it is. And then, and I am going to say it on microphone, James.

I was talking to one of our producers upstairs. And I was talking about sheep detectives And I was like, James, wasn't it you that said You sobbed all through sheep detectives? And he's like, please don't go on microphone Saying I sobbed through sheep detectives Because I definitely did it. I just said that the ending kind of almost brought a tear to my eye

And I was like, look at you fucking sobbing into your boss All by yourself. Oh, with your soggy popcorn cover. covered in wool. And so I did. James, I did say it into the microphone. So you haven't. I'm immediately going to tell him that.

You haven't seen sheep detectives. No, I haven't. James's flowing review. Which he just, and I'm telling you he's not, whereas I am Mrs. movies, James is not Mrs. sheep detectives. I please don't refer to him as such.

Yeah. Yeah. Don't tag him. Don't message him. I won't stop you. Oh, you know what? Speaking of don't message me, not to change the subject. Oh, okay.

Oh, is this a hot takes episode? Jackie, have you had the opportunity yet to see the new trailer that just dropped for KJ. Appa as Jimmy Stewart. Oh, no, MJ. I didn't know that. Oh, no trailer. I'm a little. I am nauseous.

I'm like, I'm begging. but in a bad way. I am begging you lovely, lovely listeners out there. Yes, I have seen it. Don't send it to me again. I want to pretend it doesn't exist.

Do not send it to me. Yes, I like KJ. Appa. Although, honestly, do we like KJ. Appa or do we just like Mr. Fantasy and Archie? We like Mr. Fantasy. We like Mr. Fantasy and I think we're fine with Archie.

Yeah, I think we're fine. We're mid on Archie. We like Mr. Fantasy. And yes, I love Jimmy Stewart. He is my second favorite and movie star after Gene Kelly. And so, yes, I fucking adore him. And do these two great tastes great together? No, it's foul.

Get KJ. J. Yappa away from Jimmy Stewart. I'm so upset that I'm watching this trailer on silent because I know. Oh, turn it up. When you hail a volume, I'm going all right up. It's as if, you know how there's like the Timothy Shalamee lookalike contest? It's like they cast this movie by just doing like a, who can do a Jimmy Stewart voice, the stupidest, you know? And then they got KJ after to do it.

Can you just give me a pause? I have everyone. I need to, I need to listen. Yeah, no, you need to hear it. It's everybody should pause and go listen. I don't even know what it's called. I don't want to know. You boats off in New Jersey.

The war's coming to us, Jim, whether we like it or not. I'm drafting. One snap. I'm drafted. Jackie's listening. it's what is it called I don't want to it's just the Jimmy Stewart

KJCF movie Don't I have the question You know what it is? You know what it is? It's Jimmy Stewart as Jim Carrey doing the Grinch That's what it is

And I don't like the heart And I think that it's giving Grinch right now It's like there's a great And also, wait, the whole movie is him just begging to be drafted to go to the war? Yeah, I think he did, he did want to go, which is interesting, but parallel. I would it make sense an interesting movie. It makes it final movie, and it's parallel to George Bailey's story, and it's wonderful.

I, because he also wanted to go to war, and he couldn't because he was 4F on account of his ear. But I am just... And it's not for fucks and stop asking. I just, I am so... It's, there's a great Saturday Night Live sketch with Dana Carvey, where they are, when they do an alternate ending to It's a Wonderful Life, where they go beat the shit out of Mr. Potter after they discovered what he did. And it's so funny.

And it's just, it's like, it's like KJ. Epa is doing a sketch of Jimmy Stewart's voice. And all the comments make me even angry or all the comments are like, wow, he nailed the voice. And it's like, you know what? He was more than a voice, you assholes. So anyway, this is, I just need to get that out there. I can't, why can I not find the name of this movie? It's called Jimmy. It's called Jimmy.

I don't want to know about it, guys. I'm begging you. Let me forget about it. Send it to MJ. Let them never forget Jimmy. Jimmy is thy name. And Jimmy will live in thy brain. Jimmy is my sheep detectives.

Wow. Staring at the billboard. smoking on a hog's leg, just being like, what's that KJ. F I'm going to do next. Yeah, yeah. And I don't think that this movie is going to get 94% on Rotten Tomatoes. I don't think so. I don't think that it's going to be like a surprise review that we're going to get at this

movie, but I really want to see it. Yeah, well, I, yeah, I mean. Do I? Because like, here's a thing. I bet you, I'm going to put down money right now. This movie is two and a half hours long. Oh, certainly. Because you saw the look on Jason Alexander's face.

that's a man that had been there for far too many days. Yeah, yeah. That's, that's, I just have no idea what to expect in this movie. Yes, it is, it seems to only be about the period of time where he's trying to get in the military. And, um, I just, I can't imagine anything done worse is what I'm going to say. This is the worst thing I've ever seen in my life. I can't imagine anything done worse about, about such a good person. saving thing to say.

I can't imagine. Oh, wow. We're not going to get Jimmy until November 6th. Oh, my God. We have to wait, guys. Wow, they're really going to make a simmer. Oh, we're going to be frothing for it by the time it comes out. Like, at least they got Tom Hanks to play Mr. Rogers, you know?

At least. Show some respect, you know. Why? K.J. Appa. Why? Why? Because he's just Christian enough. You're talking to one of the only people on earth who has seen, you know, much of KJ. Appa's body of work.

So if anyone's going to defend him, it's going to be us. This headline, KJ. Apa admits he wasn't that familiar with the Golden Age of Hollywood before landing Jimmy Stewart biopic. You don't say, Landin. Oh, he wasn't a connoisseur of Jimmy Stewart. I've never seen a Jimmy Stewart film. I've just watched two seconds of one. and I made an action based on that. Oh, my God.

And it's everything, each aspect of the experience of watching this trailer is worse than the last. So, yeah, that's all I'm going to say. I just imagine him, but instead, it's like he's like, like, Shamillama Pingpong, but instead of bringing his ping pong everywhere, he just keeps asking people if he could be drafted to go to the war. And they're like, what are you talking about? K.J. Epa, get the fuck out of my office. But I forgot to go to the war. Just get out of here, KJ. Fah.

I don't know what. Is this a new character thing? Please leave us alone. Or he's, yeah, he's pulling like a Jeremy Strugg, and he's just using this voice everywhere he goes. Everywhere. And he can't get out of it, like the Elvis, like when the guy was Elvis. I was like, I'm sorry, I just care. Stalk.

Oh, there's just so many people who could have done this, who aren't him. He starts doing every character with that voice. It's like, oh, it's just him now. It's like when Madonna went through that face, it's like, oh, it's just her now, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I love this for him. And please remember every new piece of information of Jimmy send to MJKLC on Instagram. This is like when everyone was sending me the Crocs memes because I got smeared as a crock enthusiast.

Whoa. And we still are. You know, we haven't talked about it. I will say it. Man, I was out. We were at like, we were at like a Cabana at the Venetian. And I hadn't put on a bucket hat in a minute. And I had put on my fuck it bucket hat.

And it ignited my soul, MJ. And I think, you know what I think that the, I'm not going to say that the light behind your eyes has gone out because you're graduating from grad school this week. But I think that a bucket hat, because I remember the look of you. in a bucket hat with a fanny pack on, with a margarita in your hand, give me two, what was it, I'm going to come on your shoe. I'm going to open my legs. I'm open my legs.

Yeah. And you know, like that's what I envision you as. And I think that your spirit of summer is going to be reignited the second you put on a bucket hat. Okay. I'm down. You know, I did get, I invested in those Margaritaville Crocs and longtime listeners might remember

that the gibbets for the Margaritaville Crocs are bad. They're too big. They keep falling off. But you can take actual shots out of them. There is an actual shot glass involved, so it was worth it. But yeah, I do need to find my inner, you know, Mr. Summer. And maybe it is going to be a bucket hat. Maybe it's going to be one of those matching outfits, you know, like Sina's always wearing those matching, matching, the matching festive Hawaiian shirts and Hawaiian shorts, you know, something like that. Is that what you need? Is that what you need as a, as a new grad school.

Because again, I cannot emphasize this enough, everyone. MJ is graduating from grad school, like, within the week. Yeah, I finished my work is it. Like, this is crazy, dude. I can't believe not only you've done this while also having two children, while also being just like the head of many different entities in your life. And I just wanted to say congratulations because you've worked. so fucking hard.

Thank you. You might notice I am wearing a shirt that my mom gave me that does say, we didn't come this far just to come this far. You know what? I like it, MJ. It doesn't say we didn't come this far just to come this far. It says, I didn't come this far to only come this far. It's a bastardized version of the situation's quote.

Good. Honestly, thank you. Can you give props to your mom that it's good that I'm assuming that she'd got this not off of the situation site, but that this was a knockoff. It's probably a knockoff. I got to tell her about the situation store so that every, you know, every Christmas, I can just be like, you don't need to look anywhere else except the situation store. I'll be happy with literally anything you get from the situation store.

I already have. We didn't come as far as a comment as far. Several items from the situation store. You do. In fact, you should probably have that all like cataloged so we all know what you have from the situation store. And I'm saying this as a collective we so that we all remember what we have from the situation store. So we'll have to have like some sort of dossier going.

Yeah, yeah. No, that's good. But yes, thank you for your congratulations. I'm glad that I did it. I finished two years of this three-year master's program. And then page seven got offered a tour. And I promptly left grad school to do the tour. And we did 25 shows.

And it was great and fun. And then a little bit more time passed without me going back. And I did go back. And I had finished. And when I started, my kids were two and one. And now they are six and eight. And they'll be putting the hood on me. And who do they appreciate?

Is it the hood? Is it the hood of your ceremony? Can you explain? I, of course, because I'm me, have made multiple circumcision jokes about MJ's a hooting ceremony. And yeah, they are flowing everybody. loves them. Everyone. So like begging for more hooding ceremony jokes from me. But MJ, what is it? What are you doing? What does that happen? They put a hat on it? I don't know, man. They like you so much. They put a hat on it. They like you so much to put a hat on it.

I think it's just like if you, you know, pay a, I'm not even going to say a certain amount of money because I go to a public university and thankfully it's quite affordable. But it's like you, in exchange for, you know, making your life very difficult for these three years, you wear a little scarf for a day. And yes. You get the special scar. You get a little scarf. So, you know, you get you, if you, when you graduate, like, college, I think you just

have the special little dress and a special little hat. And then when you get a master's. And then you have all the lanyards, all your different, you know, but then they also put that stuff on you, but that's never referred. I forget what that's called. There's a stole. Is that what you? Yes, there's stole.

Yes, I did order the pride stole because I was like, what, what, why the fuck I'll get the pride stole. So I've got a stole, which is a different type of special little scarf. And then the hood is like a special little, you have a master's degree scarf. And I, yeah, I'm not, I'm not an academic. So I have no idea what to expect. But they said you can either choose a professor to do it or you can choose two family members to do it. So I am indeed choosing my two children to put the hood on me. Oh my God. That's so cute. Yeah. Do they also have to like watch out for your Godlike, like, welfare because I feel like this sounds like a confirmation. And that's also a weird part of the rituals of when you have confirmation. You're like, oh, you got to have some God person that's like,

I write off that I'm a God person for this other little God lit. Yeah. Yeah. You know me, I've always, I don't distrust organized religion enough because I like the little rituals. I like the little parties. I like the little symbols. And see, that's why I hate it the most. Yeah. Because of all of, Although technically, the woo-woo, you know, light some candles, you know, let's get some rituals going. I do love a ritual. Yeah, we love a ritual. I keep my own rituals. Yeah.

Yeah. So this is just how academics do their rituals, I guess. You're going to get hooded up. I'm going to get hooded up. And, you know, I have zero plans to ever go back to grad school again. I don't want a PhD. I don't want any other master. So I'm going to wear that hood for exactly one day.

And that is what I get to do in exchange for three years of four. work. The PhD stands for Pretty Hard Dick. And we know it does, because sometimes that dick gets pretty hard. And you've got to wait for years for it. And then you get that PhD. Why is it from complaining about their PhD work? It sounds fun to me. It's pretty hard. I mean, it's most of the way there. I remember I used to make that joke with a friend of mine when we used to really drink a lot, a lot, a lot. And when he was really drunk, then he would tell his girlfriend,

I got a PhD tonight, sorry, but it is pretty hard. And which thinking that that was a seduction tactic of, but he still wouldn't work. Yeah. He was an alcoholic. But we're not talking about it. It probably wasn't pretty hard.

That's the problem. It wasn't. Honestly, I knew the inside baseball and it wasn't. That was part of the problem. Yeah, and alcohol will do that. I think that maybe, yeah, maybe he should have gone back to school. If you need to get it pretty hard, I think you might need a couple more classes, I think, that you missed out on. But anyway, MJ, before I definitely need to talk at you about the movie obsession, I definitely have forgotten to ask your IRL feelings.

I can't, I'm going to say I'm sorry, MJ, that I don't know if you haven't felt validated up to this point that I haven't acknowledged Clay Aiken's new music to you yet. And I feel that this, I sent it to you. I sent it to you. You sent it to me and said, does this change anything for you? I meant that like, does it, does it make you more? Like, does, do you want him even more now? Like, how, I want, I need to know now that Clay Aiken is putting out more music. And for those that don't remember here. Canonically, MJ loves Clay Aiken. Spent hours in 2003 calling the American Idol hotline to vote for him, to make my friends call.

Desperately, desperately voting for Clay Aiken. And now he's come back to us. Yeah, and you know what? Who won that year? Ruben stuttered. And have we heard from him? I haven't. I hope he's doing well.

I also liked him a lot. But Clay Aiken, you know, he, he, at a, it's, it's, it's. It was rough to be a closeted little singer in the early 2000s. He has, I think, since. Wow, he's only 47. He's, it goes to show that when you get, sometimes when you get the work done too young, that it does affect the way your face grows. Yeah, he's got a weird face.

He had a weird face before he got any work done, but he had the voice of an angel. Oh, he always had the weird face. And yes, I was attracted to him. And did I have any idea he was gay? zero idea, zero. And that's fine. You know, a lot of us have that experience. And that's why MJ and I understand each other on a level that is forever. And yes, I did own his 2003 debut album, Measure of a Man. And yes, I could still sing some of the songs to you. I have invisible's lyrics still in my head for some reason. If I was invisible and I could just watch you in your room.

Ew. I know. It's, it's, it's, you. M.J. Wait, and second. Oh no. Now we got to torque it back to those are the lyrics of the song. I'm pretty sure it's if I was invisible and I could just watch you in your room. If I was invisible, I would be the smartest man. If I was invisible, wait. Why? Because no one would be able to see you. Therefore no one would be able to hear you. It's a metaphor about how he's not being seen by his crush, who I think we are meant to imagine was a woman. I'm sorry, Clay Aiken. If you were invisible, you'd be watching me in my fucking room, and maybe that's part of the reason

why I don't have a crush back on you. Honestly, this goes hand in hand with the movie obsession. I feel like this really is quite the intro into the movie obsession. Clay Aiken, you freak. And I'm only saying you're a freak for the lyrics of this song.

But he has new music, and Jackie sent me the new music and said, does this change anything for you? And I said, you know, it just makes me prouder to have known because he still has a very nice voice. He was a very nice voice. He's a very nice voice.

Prouder. Prouder for my beliefs. Wow. Okay. The early 2000s. Yeah. So I'm not ashamed. So if he was invisible, he says, I'd make you mine tonight. But like, how does that track Clayakin?

Why? Because you'd take her in the night like a phantom? Like, what does that mean? You know that that's, I will. I can't believe how much this is obsession coded. Like this is really, it just says so much about the culture. you know, of what, you think about, not to bring up Twilight, but you think about Edward, he was also watching her sleep.

And this is something that a lot of people, I think, were weirdly sexually into, I'm sorry, no kinksham in here. If you're into it and it's all consensual, good on you. Oh, yeah. I'm saying unconsensually being watched in your sleep is, this was, in Clay Aiken's defense, you're right, This was people who grew up as girls in the 90s were taught by a culture to believe that the best thing that could ever happen to you is a man secretly watching you because he loves you so much, you know? And that means you're desirable.

That means. Thank God. Invisible in your room staring at you. Like you can hear, oh, you can hear him though. That's the problem. He's invisible, but he ain't silent. Oh, God. I wish we could change it all. Oh, you ain't wrong. Oh, God. And my friends at the time knew how embarrassing this was for me. They were so mercilessly making fun of me at the time. And then I went into the closet as a Clay Aiken fan for a couple of years. And then I came back out of the closet around 2008, which is the same time that he came out of the actual closet. So, and now he's singing again. And I think his singing is good. And now you can tell me about how. Clayakin inspired the movie Obsession.

It's just the invisible lyrics of just this this movie has come out called Obsession. I am a horror fan. All of my friends are horror fans. Everything that I had heard about

it was that it's great and I looked nothing else into it. I was like, great. It's called obsession and it's great and I'm going to go see it and that is what I went in knowing. So I don't really, even if I say what it is, like, it's not really the whole movie, because it is definitely in the genre, I believe, or at least shooting for the genre of an elevated horror, right? So it's definitely like in the world of an Ariaster.

It's definitely like in that kind of world. Art C-horror. Yes. And also very visceral. I will say, MJ, this movie, I have skispherson. scared myself being by myself the last two days multiple times because of this movie. I'm seeing a headline for Finery 21 that in obsession, man is the real monster. So it's that.

It is all about, like, I mean, for just for like very general purposes, it is a simp of a shit dude that is in love with this woman. he makes a wish on a thing that you crack to make her, like, I believe the wording was like, make her be only in, like, like, obsessively in love with me, like the way that he said it. It was very stupid. And I can't get into, like, the conversation that it starts about why man is the ultimate monster. It does bring back a lot of our Buffy conversations of, like, when the episodes where it's like,

what if human man is actually what is the scariest. And that is what this movie is. Okay. Because of what he chose. But also, I need to give a shout out. Not that it matters coming from me, but I want to give a shout out to, well, also, Curry Barker is the name of the director,

first time director. Wow. He's very, very influenced by Zach Krieger. He's very influenced by Ariaster. I have not seen the chair yet, but I hear that the chair is very good, which I believe is his first short film. But the cast, the lead person in this, the woman that is like who becomes obsessed, I believe her first name is Indy Navarette. Indy, I'm not sure if that's how you say ever. See it for her performance alone.

Yeah. This bitch is so good in this movie because it all hinges on. Because I'm going to say it, first time, right, like, first time writer or director. So it's like, it's not the best written movie. It definitely could have 20 minutes, probably even take it out of it, I imagine. Uh-huh. But the scares are so good, and she as Nikki is so creepy. So creepy.

And they do so much effective creepiness with not, because the movie was only made with $750,000. Oh, wow. And it is already, I think, gone, like, it's like 15 times or 20. times the amount that it was made for because it exploded that hard. Wow. So it is not like a, it is definitely comes off as like an indie horror movie. And she is so good. And also the dude that plays bear in it, Michael Johnston, you hate him so fucking much that it really, I think adds.

And throwing it out there, anyone that's able to go see it in a, we saw it in a completely packed theater. It was so fun to experience it with everyone. Everyone was reacting. Everyone was like there was just active like, and it was like, ah, like it was really such a wonderful. It's one of those movies. Like when I saw Hereditary in the movie theater for the first time that I was, that I walked out and I was like, I immediately was like, I can't wait to see that again. I'm probably going to see it again in the next couple of weeks. Oh my God. I cannot imagine seeing Hereditary in the movie theater. Were people just screaming? Oh, people were dead. Like that or it was deathly silent

where everyone was just so absorbed. I remember I saw hereditary in the middle of the day. And then we came out and I remember it was like back when I used to smoke cigarettes and Jeff and I both used to smoke cigarettes. And we just left the movie theater and we sat on the curb just like smoking cigarettes and staring into the middle distance.

Just like, and then we just talked about it, talked about it, talked about it, talked about it. And that's why I feel like, I'm not saying Curry Barker is Ariaster. Like I'm not saying we're not having those levels of discussion after obsession.

But we did have many discussions of man remember that point? Oh man, remember when that happened? Oh man, remember when that happened? And there's multiples of that. Okay. Well, I am, yeah, I'm horror open.

And if you were invisible, maybe it would have been fucking better, okay, is what I'm saying. All right, Maybe you should have been invisible in the room. Okay. Yeah, I don't know if I'll be able to convince Gideon to watch it. But I did successfully convince Gideon to watch Widows Bay with me.

Yay! And, man, I love it. You know, it's interesting because you, I think, had used the words comedy and horror, which I also used to pitch it to him. And I also pitched Matthew Reese because we both like Matthew Reese because of the Americans. But he was like, you know, when you said comedy horror, I was thinking like scary movies. movie, like comedy forward, horror backward. And I think what's so cool about Widows Bay is it's horror

forward comedy in the backseat. Fascinating. I am obsessed with how this show is written and how this show is done. It is, I've never seen anything like it. It is just, like, it's so weird to be like, it's like if the office were set in a Stephen King novel. A 100%. And also, Also, there are like a couple of wonderful, like, New York comedians involved with the writing. Actually, I take that back. Maybe it's, like, more of a waiting for Guffman in a Stephen King novel. Because they are, like, really, like, he meet, they all mean well, and they're all such character choices, each one. And it's incredibly atmospheric. The scene, the world building of, like, creepy haunted island in Maine, creepy haunted hotel

like they build that atmosphere so well but like we just finished episode three which is written by Neil Casey who is who also plays the innkeeper but Neil Casey was like a long time ask cat comedian he was part of the president show

he's like a wonderful when he has to test the waters oh my God oh my God it's but like so it's written and I was so shocked to see Neil's name at the at the end written by Neil because he's like he's a he's like the gold standard comedian in new york city and so i was like this creepy

like atmospheric haunted house show is written by like one of my favorite comedians like what an interesting combo right yo and it is so shockingly genuinely funny genuinely scary yes genuinely very funny and genuinely very scary i'm so excited so mj i'm just looking at this now so season or so Episode 1, episode 2, episode 3, episode 5. They're all called episode 1, episode 2, episode 3, episode 5. Episode 4 is the one that I was wondering if you had gotten to yet. Oh, okay. This makes sense of why it's called Episode 4 Beach Reads.

And this episode is all about Patricia. Oh. Who works in the office. And I watched this episode. I think that that's the episode that we are up to. Oh, no, episode five just dropped, but I haven't seen that yet. But the Patricia focused episode where they let that bitch cook. That episode, it was, again, another one of the, where it was done.

And it made me feel almost like in a very opposite way of the last of us episode that broke everyone's heart. It was like a piece within the whole piece that I was like, fascinating. And I love that all of the different ways because they're doing it like the, oh, God, what is the name of the show that it was the amalgamation of all of the different Stephen King books all put together that had the girl from Party Down, Castle Rock, thank you. This is, Widows Bay is funny. Castle Rock. That's wrong. So it is like so many different supernatural things going on. It's not even just one central plot.

Because it's a haunt. Basically the elevator pitch is haunted island. Haunted island where the mayor is desperate to have nobody know so that it can remain a tourist trap. Yeah. Like he wants it. He's almost like the mayor of Jaws where he's just like, everything's fine. Everything's fine. In fact, in one of the like mayor staff meetings they have in the background, there's a

talkboard with like notes the agenda and there's a drawing of a shark and Gideon was like, that's a jaws reference. Yes. That's great. It's total jaws. And the way that, like I have not read a ton of Stephen King, but I have read a ton of John Irving and this might feel like a weird comparison. But you know like those authors who just write like 700 page books and you read them and you're like, I mean, I know you know, Romance is he. But it's like those, I feel like what Stephen King also does is like, I am settling in and I'm going to explore different generations and I'm going to explore different geographic locations and different families. And like that is also what this feels like because it's like each episode is kind of like you're following the same characters,

but it's really just like world building like like a huge novel, like a huge well done novel does. And yeah, it's it's so good. And I also like what I realize every time I try to watch something scary is that what I, my exact shit is haunted old things. And so this is my exact J. And Matthew Reeves. And Matthew Reeves. Talk about also what a character actor that he, him in this like as this like nebish character. Yes.

He pulls it off so well where he's just where he's like desperately trying to put and keep everything together, but not cartoonishly. Like it really isn't like he's just trying to hold everything together. Yeah. And he is really funny. And also, yeah, he's like, I feel like. I've only ever seen him in very serious things. So it's fun to see him playing like kind of a straight man in a show that also is very funny.

Yes. And he is, yeah, it's just, it is an absolute delight. And yeah, like, it's so interesting to be like, this is a scary, haunted show written by some of the best comedians you've ever heard of. Like, what an interesting combo, you know? Great. Well, because honestly, that is obsession. Curry Barker is also a half part of a sketch team as well. So who did?

So there are funny parts. I feel like this is definitely jumping off the whole like Zach Craigor. I mean, he was up for an Oscar. And now they're like, oh, wow, elevated horror done by comedians. And just like, we're all over here screaming like, yes. Of course. Yeah. Where have you been?

It's so cool to be like, oh, yeah, if you just give like really brilliant writers like a chance to write something really creative and original, they will absolutely do it. Yes, yes, they will. That's the other fun, just really fun thing about it. Like, there's such a glut of, you know, of content. The same rehashing of shit. Yeah, exactly.

Like reboots and all of that. And this is just such a... I've never seen it done. Yes. Ever. This is such a different new creative experience. I highly recommend. It is a little scary, like there's jump scares and stuff if you don't like that type of thing.

And that third episode, the whole hag. Oh, the hag is very... scary. Very scary. Genuinely, very scary. Very, very scary. But I love it.

Then Stephen Root, they have, you have Stephen Root who come in and is like, tells you the Lord of the town. Yeah, he was the guy on the island who knows all the stories.

Who knows all the stories. And it's, it's fantastic. It's, I'm so glad that you're watching it. It really, uh, it's worth it to a point that I am happy

that I'm paying for Apple Plus. Yeah. Between that and Margo's got money troubles, which again, is another one that I am highly recommending to everybody. It is making it worth my Apple Plus money right now. Yeah, absolutely highly recommend. Did you ever, I feel like this book is kind of up your alley,

even though maybe it's too much of a melodrama to be up your alley. There was a movie that was made based on the book, Remarkably Bright Creatures. Did you read this? Because it seemed that it might be in an MJ Wheelhouse. This is like, you know, before smartphones and you could tell what book was popular because everyone was reading it on the subway. On the train, yeah. And I feel like this was.

You probably saw a lot of this cover. Yeah, like everyone was reading Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and everyone was reading Super Set True Love Story, which is a great book. I think Girl with Dragon Tattoo, not a great book. Super Set True Love Story, great book. This is some dark and incredibly close. Yes, extremely loud and incredibly close. And then heartbreaking work of a staggering genius. I feel like everyone was reading that at the same time.

Yes. I feel like we all everything, you know, there are certain times for it. I feel like that's what I think of when I think of remarkably bright creatures, but I don't think I read the book, no. Okay. I, uh, this was one of those when, which is very funny. I had talked to my husband afterwards and he's like, why did you watch it? This is like the night before my father's death anniversary.

I'm with my mom and my sister and my niece and all of us sit to watch this movie that is starring Sally Field and Alfred Molina does the voice of an octopus and Lewis Pullman, who is Bill Pullman's son, is also in it. And it is all very, it's like Sally and Sally Field. She's great. Because I've been seeing her back on the circuit. Yeah. And I didn't realize what she was back on the circuit for. It was four remarkably bright creatures. Oh, did you see the interview she did where she was talking about being on set with like, I think it was like her first Ford with Steel Magnolius, like one of her kids. Oh my God, when all of them like helped like raise the kid.

Yeah, could you imagine? Can you imagine? And that they would all get together on like Saturday nights and they would all and they would all like play car. It's my dream. MJ, it's my dream. I know. I was also watching another interview with Sally Field and she was talking about finding

out that her father was in the hospital who she was very close to the day that she was shooting in Mrs. Doubtfire when they go into the trial of like the divorce trial scene where she's very upset in that scene. And she was just talking about essentially how Robin Williams helped get her through because like they had to shoot because they were on location. So like it wasn't even like and he just like helped talk her down to get her through the whole moment of it helped her like process but also compartmentalize and just. And can we just, Man, Sally Field, she's still got it. Still got it.

This movie, if you like melodrama, you're going to like this book. Okay. It is, it is beautifully written. It is very, very sad. She is the, like, keeper in this aquarium, and she's always talking to the octopus, and she's talking to all the fish every night, and she talks to all of them because she's so lonely. She's so lonely, and then the octopus keeps getting out, and it's all these metaphors,

and then Lewis Pullman comes in, and she's, you know, she needs to be a mother. He needs a mother. And it's, you know, it's one of those, it's, it's all very, and everybody's crying.

Jackie Tiscus's symbolism is a great segment. Oh, there's a mother figure. There's a child figure. And it's just, it's very, but it was beautiful.

It really was. It was beautifully done. And it's just funny because like at the top of the movie and I was like, cut to us in an hour and a half. We're all crying over a fucking octopus and all was like,

crying. Oh, uh, So it was kind of nice when you have like multiple generations together to watch something sad where you're like, oh yeah. Okay, this is going to make us all cry, huh? That seems like the movie, a movie to watch with your mom and your niece. Like that is what certain movies are just written for that. There's no, there's no kissing in it.

There's not a moment of horniness. It is only sad, the melancholy of existence. And that I can handle with my family in spades. But kissing? No. No, no, no. We'll fast forward through that. No.

Why do you think I read so much romanticcy? Traumatized. Hmm? By the sexlessness of my family. We got an interesting email. This is along the similar lines. We got an interesting email from a listener saying that their 12-year-old niece is really into heated rivalry. And they wrote and they said, I haven't seen it.

Oh, you see my. He shoots. He scores. right now it's heated rivalry and there's a bunch of boys kissing on it and it says Jane and Lily on it and it's got the boys kissing it's a great shirt

he shoots he scores we're both wearing thematic shirts and I like that for us so this listener said is this okay for a 12 year old I haven't seen it like should I should I step in and I said I think I think the answer is probably probably that it's a little grown for a 12 year old

however if if they've already seen it the the the sex is out of the bag, you know, like it's happened. It's happened. And I think that at 12, we all were exposed to things in different ways, you know. And I imagine in different families, I guess if you have different conferences, I wouldn't, I feel that that I feel that 12 is too. But I guess it also depends. I feel like where I was and what I was watching when I was 12 wouldn't have phased me. But it really depends on where I think the child is in their progression. And also, I feel like there's something weird. about an adult showing that kind of show to a kid, right?

I don't think the kids watching it with adults. I think kids watching it on their own. On their own. But that's the thing. That's because, you're right. I'm sorry. I don't know the law. I know that that's right.

Bad. Getting in. Stop what. I know that's bad. I'm pretty sure that that is bad. And we don't do that. We definitely do that. We never do that.

I think that I was thinking, yeah, I was like, I know that's bad. It is too sexy for 12. year olds. I think that's just... Whoa, I drop dead. Drop said, right said, right said, Fred. Drop dead, right, right, said. I'm too sexy for your tween. Yeah, it is, it is, but just because it's too sexy for your tween doesn't mean your tweet's not going to watch it. I learned about sex from reading the world according to Garp. Is that normal? Not the place to do it. No. Is it healthy? No. Did I learn about actually though what oral sex was from it? Yeah, probably.

I learned a lot. And again, it's not great, but it's going to happen. So I think if you're going to learn about sex as a tween, be it from a healthy show showing like a delightful romance. I think that was my answer. I don't know. We're certainly not parenting experts over here going to weigh it on that. But I did think that that was an interesting question.

What about- You are a guidance counselor, though. I mean, now you're a grader. So it's like as a guidance counselor, and those are around the ages of who. So, I mean, imagine, I guess it's like those kids, are they, watch and eat, but I also at the same time, I think a lot of the youngs don't know about heated rivalry. I'm pretty sure a lot of it was just for us. I think it's, that's the thing. I feel like it's written for adults, but I do think that like teens have now gotten into it. And yeah, you know,

I think the thing about 12 is it's a huge range. There's, there's 12 year olds who are still playing with magnetiles and there's 12 year olds who might be ready for more advanced stuff. It's a huge transitional stage. So yeah, I think it's, I think, but it was just interesting to think about like, yeah, because I feel like we all had the experience of like, you'd accidentally watching a movie with your family that had a sex scene or something. Whereas for God forbid. God help us. God. And it really was every time and my father would try, fast forward through and then go too far and then try to faggot and then to reverse and then we get to end them in the love it. And then try to and it's just got every single one. Yeah. And it's just like, if you could just let it happen,

it would probably be faster. But, you know, that's not something you're supposed to grow in a family about. I think that's something that you just stay stagnant and never discuss. I think there's just no way to do it. Like, there's just no way to make that transition from being your parents' child to being your parents' child who now knows about sex. It's going to be an awkward transition no matter what. I, this is not important at all and nobody cares. But I did want to give just a little, um, an awful.

update on the Jessica Simpson, Nicholas Shea conversation that we had had on page seven. Please. Has she spoken out? She has spoken out. And she said that, remember when we were talking about she was in first class with her mom? Yeah. Apparently it was her mom that bought the tickets. And her mom bought a ticket for her and herself to fly first class and for Eric and the children to not.

Okay. That is a hilarious speaking out because you're just throwing your mom. under the bus. Just throwing your mom under the bus. You're not defending the decision. You're just being like, it was my mom. Asked if the kids would be sitting with her if she had purchased the tickets. Jessica,

of course. Oh, Jessica. That's a weasel. You've got a bunch of kids. Yeah, fucking right. That's so expensive. What are you talking about? Wow.

We know you got money. That's right. This is a weasel squared situation. Nick Lachey was a weasel and then now she's being a weasel. I mean, I guess throwing your mom under the bus, you know, that's one way to save yourself. But I do want to say thank you to this top comment underneath this article. Gordon Ramsey, and they're so right, Gordon Ramsey has regularly spoken about seating his kids in economy while he and his wife are in first class.

He's either praise for it or there's no reaction. That's true. The double standard for moms is crazy. Everyone's like, look at Gordon Ramsey teaching his children financial independence. You're right. But this comment, and you're so right. every time because I've seen him talk about this before. Always.

It's just like Gordon Ramsey, a bright look on like of how we should be treating our children. Because it's like he also wasn't talking about like he wasn't talking about infants. He's talking about his full ass grown kids. He's like, yeah, they're old teenagers. They can fucking sit back there. I don't give a shit. Yeah, whenever a celebrity who's a guy is like, yeah, my kids are going to pay their own way. They're like, wow, look at them combating the epidemic of an Mepho baby.

Wow. And then yeah, now they're like Jessica Simpson hates her children. Yeah, I do tend to just automatically side with Jessica Simpson because I know how dirty she's been done. But I do think it's very funny that she didn't defend her decision. She just said someone else did it. Just threw her mother under the bus, dude. But at the same time, isn't that kind of what mom, like, I feel like if I were that famous, my mom would just know, like, I'm just going to blame you for some stuff. Totally.

I'm just going to make it. I'm just like, that's my mom's fault. Yeah. I'm my mama's fault. Yeah. I'm my mom. You think I'm going to. Remember, I have to adjust my crown to remember.

remember who my mother is. You think that I'm going to tell her no, my kids are not going to fly an economy? I don't know. I tell my kids all the time. You can blame whatever you want on me. And just while we're talking weasels, I know this is literally not a story that anybody else cares about. I could not stop laughing at the people headline about Paul Hollywood being pulled over for driving a hundred miles an hour to get his cat to the vet. And then he had a post with the following. caption. The people the people headline is like, you know, Paul Hollywood, reckless driving to get cat to the vet. And then Paul Hollywood posted, for those asking after reading recent stories, yes, Bella is all good after a severe lung issue. She had us packing for a while. Her fur is growing back now too. Thank you. Hashtag British short hair. And I just think that that is such a funny way.

British short hair in response to driving 100 miles an hour is so funny. But what about this pro cat pose? What are you going to throw? Are you going to hurl insults on a pro cat post? That's the thing. Like Bobby Flay learned like I can get people to hate me less when I talk about my lovely cats. And I feel like Paul Hollywood is like, what? You're going to be mad at me for trying to save this hashtag British short hair?

I love it. I love it. It reported that the officer tracked Hollywood in an unmarked. police car with the dash camera and he saw Hollywood repeatedly bully other vehicles by tailgating them to encourage them to move from the passing lane. He was aggressively tailgating other road users. At least he had an excuse because MJ, I'm a horrific driver. I'm such a nightmare on the road that I feel like it's great that nobody's writing or looking at any way in which I'm driving. God forbid, if Henry, if anyone in scene, Henry talks about when I talk about on the show,

show when Wendy got stung by a bee and then we found out that she's anaphylactically allergic to bee stings. Did I tell you about this? I think you told me about this, but I can't remember if it was on air or not. And she immediately, like, Henry, like, she immediately dropped to the, like, full drop to the ground, like, just gone and started foaming at the mouth. Henry, like, picks up her limp body, had, like, rushes her to the urgent air. And Henry was like, if anyone had seen the way I, he's like, I flip, I can't, I can't

believe I didn't actually fly there in a helicopter. He's like, I was just going, he literally, apparently was going, hunk, hunk, hong, hong, hong, hong, through to get through red lights. He straight up was doing the like, going through. And I was like, I understand. Yeah. For your, for your baby? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For your everything. Paul Hollywood feels the same way. Yeah, no, of course. Totally. It is actually a very sympathetic thing. But I, yeah, the, the, the hundred miles per hour and the description by the police of him bullying other cars. bullying other cars is very funny. Followed by hashtag British short hair.

Hashtag British Short Hair. I mean, guys, hashtag, what are you going to be upset with him for endangering the lives of other people? Hashtag British Short Hair. I feel like that absolves all. I think that we should all be, you know what? In fact, from now on, I'd like every apology to have hashtag British short hair underneath. I feel like that will really mend a lot going forward. Yeah, that's the last.

that's how you get the last word it. Hashtag British Shorthair. To you and yours. That or maybe start using it to get out of arguments in your marriage. Like in your life. Just be like, I don't know. Hashtag British Short Hair. Hashtag British Short Hair.

You're like, done at me? Yeah. It's up saying period. It's hashtag British Short Hair. British Short hair, all right? Out. Cat drop. That's a cat mic drop right there. Oh, man.

Don't even say that after seeing the movie obsession. But I'm not spoiling anything. but let's just say there's some cat things going on in there. Anyway, I want to talk about it so bad and I can't talk about it. What were you going to say? Speaking of reckless driving, I did watch the very popular documentary on Netflix right now called The Crash. And I don't think we need to talk about it at length. It's just one of the true crimes that every week there's a new true crime trending.

But it is good and very upsetting. and it is about a teenager who purposefully crashed her car with her boyfriend and her friend in it, well, allegedly purposefully. It is an exploration of whether or not she did it on purpose. And yeah, I will just say that my takeaway from it is that teenagers are impulsive and I wish that society was oriented around public transportation so that we could not let teenagers have cars. That is honestly my takeaway. I think that teenagers make big, quick, impulsive decisions, and the fact that they drive cars is tricky, but also life is structured so that they kind of have to drive cars. And that's my, that's really my only takeaway. But if you love a true crime, the crash is a, God, everybody's talking about it.

And it's very upsetting, but I feel like it's pretty well done. Everybody's talking about it too. Because I've seen the picture, like the still of this young girl's face on many. many memes so far. So I knew that she was coming from somewhere and I didn't realize it was coming from the crash. Do you now you've, so was this a doc or was this a series? A doc, just one, just one movie.

And there's been, what's funny, what's interesting about it is like, if you like true crime, you will notice that sometimes there will be like a kind of like, how do I say, like a not very well done, like hour long, like, you know, some random true crime show will talk about a case. So there's been other documentaries about this case, but they just haven't been like a Netflix documentary. You know, they've been like a kind of like, you know, random other true crime shows documentary. And so what's interesting is that there's actually like some evidence, evidence material recordings and stuff that Netflix didn't even include in this one. But it has been such, it has made such a splash.

She and her mom have a secret language. She and her mom, this is, they did not include it in the Netflix documentary. But apparently in the hospital when she like finds out. that she killed these two people with the car, she starts speaking in pig Latin to her mom asking, could we blame it on a seizure? And that's not going to look good in the court of public opinion.

No. Did she know that other people speak pig Latin as well and that most people can figure out the code? Did she know that? Maybe not because she's 17 and she shouldn't even be in charge of a death machine, you know? Yeah, I think that basically what you learn from the documentary

is that, yeah, I mean, I think that this was like a pretty erratic kid who like made pretty poor decisions and then made like a very impulsive poor decision in a car is what I think happened. So you think she did it on purpose. You don't think there was an incident, like a medical incident. No, I think she got really angry and had a huge angry, impulsive reaction. That's what I think. And it happened in five seconds. Here's the thing. Because I was just talking about about this, I think I was talking about it with Sina the other day. We were talking about intrusive thoughts when you're driving on Canyon roads. You know, we all have them. Right. We all have them. We all have the, you know, wow, if you're like driving at night and

you're just like, I could just like, I could just, I could just gert. And then it would just all be, you know, you have those thoughts. Yes. But as adults and with our formed front, you know, portion of our brain, I can't even say frontal lobe. And yet still, I know it's full in there. Front is a good short hand. Yeah, I'm not talking about my kids. Sometimes I'm at the front of my brain. Thank you. I don't know what kind of formed front that they were having in the car.

Yeah. I feel that, but like I'm able to tell myself, we're not going to fly to our end tonight. Like I'm able to quickly do that. Right, right. And basically, yeah, the documentary is kind of an exploration of like who this kid was. And yeah, I think she was like a kid who was 17 and did a lot of reckless things and also like was in a pretty toxic relationship and treated her boyfriend really poorly. And I think she probably just got really fucking angry in the car. And that's all it takes is one second of poor judgment in a car. And this was, that's my takeaway. I think that she did it on purpose and she was 17 and she wasn't thinking about it. You know, she was just acting impulsively. And yes, for some reason, our society is oriented around giving.

people with an undeveloped brain, a giant death machine. And so, yeah, that is, I would say we should all have public transit. But in New York, all the teens are subway surfing. So they're just born to make reckless decisions, guys. They're just born to make, especially when they're in gaggles, especially when they're, you know, they're all like, God, just nothing scared me more. Yeah. I tell you, the gaggle of teenagers anywhere.

I'm just like, oh, I just stay away for me. just don't punch me, please. But that's the New Yorker. I don't think that that's everyone feels that way. I think it's just people that have seen people be assaulted by gackles of teenagers that roam the streets sometimes. Oh, as somebody who's taken several field trips with middle schoolers this year, you do not know the crestfallen look of the adult who is on a train car that is then entered with 50 middle schoolers.

You've never seen a more disappointed person in their life. when the middle schoolers get on the train and all the rest of the adults are like, okay, all right, here we go. Oh, God. All right, I just go to, okay. All right, there they go, yeah. And it's just like they all just, hell is a teenager, you know?

I was to say, I know the quote is hell as a teenage girl because I was going to say that about, you know, the person in this docu series, but just hell is just is being a teenager. And I think that some people, that's their glory days. And I think that's really great for you. God, nothing would, you could do nothing to take me back to being a teenager.

No, no. And I think, I really, yeah, I feel like the thing about teenagerhood is that you just have to survive it and you just have to figure out how to survive it. And that's what you've learned at grad school. That's what you say to them. You're like, you just got to, we just got to bear through it. Don't make any wishes. Don't like, you know, just keep all that to a minimum.

I have told many middle schoolers when they're upset, I'm like, you know, about the circumstances of their life. I'm like, you will never find an adult who like looks back fondly at middle school. It's a difficult time. Like, you have to get through it safely, making the soundest choices you can. But it's not, it's, it might not be awesome. For most people, it isn't, but you just have to get through it safely. Yeah, the crash is a crate, it is, it is, it is a crazy story.

It's a crazy documentary. But yeah, it's, I don't know. I don't, I don't know. I just, I don't like cars. I'm very scared of cars. So if you're scared of cars, maybe don't watch it. Yeah. And I was just talking to somebody about this recently, too, that it is crazy that like places

like here where the permit, there's 15-year-olds on the road. Yeah. That's insane. With the way people drive in L.A., that's crazy. I can't imagine being 15. Like, it makes sense in New York. I believe you have to be 18 even to get a permit, right? Yeah, I actually, I wasn't sure because I don't know.

I don't know any teenagers who drive. So I wasn't even sure. No, because they don't have to in New York. And it wasn't something that like you are. But I just remember living in Florida. I was counting down the seconds until I turned 15. I got by number when I was 14. 14.

14 for me. Whoa. See, especially in the Midwest where dois are like everybody can have, what was it, up to like 11 dewees? That's in Wisconsin specifically. Sorry, Wisconsin. 11 dewees? Yeah.

crazy. Wisconsin is like hands you a beer as you're driving home from the police station. And then you're going to put 14 year olds on the road? Yeah. Well, yeah. My aunt is on her like fourth or fifth. Fourth or fifth. And it's just like we have like I know one person in my life that got a Dewey and their life was like destroyed by it. And I'm not to say that like as it should be because I've got a lot of issues with the Beatles system. but also like, you should definitely experience something. Yes, same. I know one person who got a Dewey and it really messed up their life for a little while and they've never ever really drank and drive.

Well, I think they've never drank and drive. That's the thing. They never drank a drive again. They just never drink and drive again. And yeah, I want them to recover. You know, if I've, no, in fact, the person that I'm referring to never drank again. It's like, it is like a life. I'm glad that it was a life-changing thing.

Tim Walls, you might remember from the horrific presidential election that just passed, he got a DUI when he was very young and they tried to use it as a smear against him. And he was like, since that DUI, I have never drank again. And it's like, okay, that's, that's what you do. That's, that is quite a learning experience. And I think that unfortunately, anyone that has driven a car as, and I haven't done it since I was in college. But like, I used to when I was in college, in a college town, man, I was just like, Like, ah, everybody's driving drunk. It's fine. If we're all drunk, it's fine. It's like, that's, well, not the case. That's the thing. And that's just the entire time I was watching the crash.

I was just like, oh, my God. Like, if you had just been angry, not in a car. Like, everybody would still be alive. Like, if you made a really reckless teenage decision in a car and it was catastrophic. And if only you had not been in a car, it would have been different. Yeah. Damn, dude. All right.

I mean, it does seem like this, I'm not going to say that this young person was crazy, but it didn't, it did seem like she was, she should have been working on some skills to learn how to process her emotions. That's, yes. And I also say that's a great reminder to everybody. Never text anything that you don't want red in a courtroom. Even in pig Latin? Even in pig Latin. Never text anything that you don't want. want red in a courtroom. And also posts shit online. And like if you're posting just a million

videos of yourself getting high while driving, um, not, not great. Not wise. Yeah. You know, that's going to be used against you in a court of law. So yeah, yeah, you got to be careful with that. And so I keep all my smoking weed for the Twitch streams. And yes, I want to say thank you to everybody that came out to celebrate 520, 520 blaze at everybody. Um, because Henry and I are such stoners last year for good pud we created a new stoner holiday 520 instead of 420 and did we both forget that we did that yes and did 520 happen yesterday i was like oh it's 520 520 plays it oh no so then i did a twitch stream because i was like i got a stream i mean it's 520 plays it and so i just want to say thank you to everybody that came and hung out um on my twitch channel which is oh no it's jacky

You could definitely come follow me over there because I'm going to be streaming a lot more because now I've got a brand new tower, MJ. It's a brand new world. It's a new world. Because for those that have followed my streaming life, I have had a lemon of a computer tower for years that would just randomly seize

and I could never figure out what the problem was. And did I finally overcome my anxiety of making big decisions to purchase a new tower, yes. And now I can play, and it's crazy, MJ. I didn't realize how much anxiety I had wrapped up in streaming because I knew that the tower would seize at any point. And now that all of that anxiety is gone,

the freedom I feel. And now I can play The Sims and I can play date everything and I can talk about my cryptid fuck game and I can do anything and I don't have to worry about it all see. Remember, it kicked me off during the Muppa Christmas Carol, watch along because your tower was seasoned up. So yeah, now we can do that again tomorrow. Yes. We can do it at any time. Well, we know Jesus for us Mises. We'll do it today. I'll do this today, MJ, if you want me to. But I, you know, we are building, it is very funny. I was trying to create a facsimile of my character of Mothman and a facsimile of my character of Bigfoot for our cryptid fuck game. And I, you know, I. I immediately put them into the fairyland world of Sims. And MJ, I forgot how much I love to play The Sims.

I've got Mothman romancing the fairy that lives next door right now. Wow. And I apparently at some point in this new fairy pack, they can fuck while they fly. Fuck while they fly. I want them to just fuck while they fly. Remember when Sim Sena and Sim, my husband, got into a relationship right before my eyes? Well, technically, Sina was a werewolf. Still, he was Sina.

He's still responsible for his actions. You're right. It is still Sina in there, all right? Even though he is in his werewolf form. But, man, he kept coming right into your house with where your children live and just taking your husband from him. Just kissing him. Give him right in front of you. As if I'm not even there.

I did set all the Sims to be fine with everybody fucking all the time. So. Yeah. No, that's the way. And Jay, do you want to, I feel like you might want to fuck Mothman. I feel like Mothman might be your type more than a Bigfoot or a jupacabra. This is the, the, the, I think the topic on between us with which there is the most distance is the monster fuckery. I have, I don't, I can't think of a monster who I've, who I've horned.

except for Beast and Beauty and the Beast. But like for a lot of people, a lot of monster fuckers, that was like the beginning of something. And for me, it's an aberration, you know? Ah, but you're, but vampires?

Uh, I mean, that guy who looks like Smith, Jared from the new AMC interview with a vampire, yeah, but it's not because he's a vampire. Talk about Sam Rhee. Yes. And Spike, yeah, before, obviously.

Well, Spike is more, I'm basing Chupacra off of, you know, I'm basing him off of Spike. Oh, okay. So Chupacabra is going to be more. of a spike and then you've got Mothman who's more of an Edward Cisorhands and then you're going to say Edward Norton

I mean you could slap a little Edward Norton on there but then you've got Bigfoot who's more of like a cronk you know he's more of your big old hymbo but he's hundreds of years old That's are you are you thirsting for Bigfoot I feel like you like a big You fucking know I am

hairy man It is really difficult to not essentially Which is funny when I built Bigfoot in the Sims I want to say thank you to Taylor Chandler, a part of our chat who called me out for making a russet-skinned Jeff.

Because we refer in, that is, that phrase is not from me. Stephanie fucking Myers in Twilight always referred to Jacob as russet-skinned and never used any other language for it. And so I'll be like, this baked potato motherfucker. You know, it's like,

I would always, I like that. It's like, we get it, Smires. We understand. And so, yeah, I guess I kind of made Bigfoot a russet skin, Jeff. Wow. Well, I mean, Smyers language, not mine. This is obviously the job you were born to have. Thank you.

And then I make them all fuck. Like, I'm taking my Barbies. I smash them. I smash them. They woohoo, they woohoo, they woohoo. And MJ, I got to have you back now to come. We got to get back to woo-hoo, and now that you're done with grad school. Yeah, now that I'm done.

We got to get you hooded first. Once you're hooded. And then I'll wear the hood every time we play The Sims. Oh, you have to. Or else I won't know it's you. What do I refer to you as with your masters? What is I? Because you're not Dr. MJ, right?

I don't get any title. Again, you're not pretty hard dick. No, I just get a little scarf. That's it. Do you want me to call you pretty hard dick, MJ? Because then no one's going to know I'm trying to say PhD. No, you. camp because PhD havers will understandably. I never want to steal a PhD

Haver's glory. Those people work very hard. They work very hard. You're right. All right. So I'll just call you Master MJ from now on. I don't know if I love that either. Oh, is that too? Based in history. But then you've got your master's. So why do I call you? Counselor MJ. Oh, okay. You want to be counselor MJ? I don't know. That makes me sound like a lawyer. Yeah. I don't know. I think. I think I'm just still MJ. All right. You're just MJ.

But you're so much more than just MJ. All right. You are going to be out there on those streets helping those kids. Yeah. Turning my chair around. Somebody's got to help these kids. Talking about making smart choices. Yes, I have become the adult that says when I'm saying goodbye to a kid.

I say, bye. Have a great weekend. Make smart choices. Oh, that's cute. Can you start saying that to me every time? I'll say it. I think I need a reminder. I'll say it when I say goodbye to you.

hitting a bong at 10 a.m. I'm like, yeah. I'm making some small chores. Sorry, that's only for 520 blaze it. Okay. We're not doing that every day. Yeah. And maybe, who knows, maybe next year the new weed holiday will be 620. We'll forget again. You know we will. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and we breezed right through April Real Estate this year, which is good because I couldn't handle it emotionally. No, not at the end of grad school. We can't be doing this. We got to, let's wait for you to bounce back. We'll tell each other the truth next year. Next year, we've got time for it. And everybody, we had time for you today. And I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you enjoyed your second helpings and that you're all full up.

I didn't even get into, which is fine. Honestly, it's fine. I watched Devil Wears Prada. I watch the first one. And I think that I am, I think I am too old to have watched it for the first time to fall in love with it. I think it was, I think it's definitely a product of his time. I understand why people love it. I am not shitting on your good time.

I completely... Great movie, tight movie. Everybody killed it. Completely understood it. But for me, as a forever plus-sized person, it was definitely like the, oh, this is why I didn't watch this movie. Oh, yeah.

This is why I didn't watch this movie. Ah, this is why I didn't watch this movie. And not in a Hannah Swenson way. I feel like in a more, like, in a scarier way than a Hannah Swenson way. Yeah. I feel like it's like... Much more of a part of our community than a

Hannah Swenson way. What was that Marissa, no Melissa Joan Hart and Mario Lopez movie that we watched where she kidnapped Holiday in handcuffs. Holiday in handcuffs, yes. And it was made in 2009 and it was really the moment that

we realized that like culture has changed, you know? And I think that Devil Wears Prada is really on that cusp where I was just like we're still in a time period where we just say horrific things about fat people. And I mean we're back again in 20. 26, don't get me wrong.

Oh, yeah. It's crazy. Otherwise, of fascism will do that. Yes, it really is crazy. And I think that if I had watched that when it came out, it wouldn't have been good for me mentally in any way, shape, or four. It's way. Because, like, even as an adult, I'm 38 years old. And I'm still just like, and they show beautiful Anne Hathaway.

And they're like, this ugly rat. And it's like, you can't, you legally can't say that about in Hathaway. Like, she's so. hot. She literally just has clothes on. And they're just like, like every time she enters a room and I, that's for me. I'm just like, it's, it's, it's Anne Athaway. Yeah. Yeah. But I, um, I'm glad that I saw it. I'm glad you watched it and may, I, I might watch the new one. I, I, but I, I don't care. It doesn't move me. It's not my clueless or anything, you know,

or, or like, no, but for some people. But I understand how it could be for some. Yeah. Yes. And I, and I completely get that. And also, Meryl, bitch. fucking eat it up, bitch. And oh my God, the pictures of Dumois, there was pictures of, and which makes me sad because I don't want anyone hunting them, but they were in Merrill Streep and Martin Short, we're all canoodling in a restaurant.

Oh, good. Good. Good. Good for them. It's a definite now. They're definitely together, and we're definitely getting the hell out of here. Everyone, I hope you have a great, great, great, great, great, great, great week. And if you haven't gotten a chance to watch Murder She Bake, don't worry. Again, it's over on the Patreon. Go check it out. Patreon.com slash page seven podcast.

We've got all oodles and boodles of goodies for you over there, especially with our new collections. So go on over to the collections to see the different sections, sections of collections of all the different parts of our Patreon. And also, as well, come follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. That's where you're going to get all of your information. If you're curious about Monster Match, if you're curious about me streaming more, and what that entails.

You don't even have to pay anything. You don't even have to sign up for anything. You could just go to Twitch.tv slash, oh, no, it's Jackie when I'm streaming. But I'll let you know when I am over on Jack That Worm. So come follow me over there, MJ. Thank you for your emails. You guys are wonderful.

And thank you to all the patrons. Shall we sing the song? Yes, we shall. Fott'll be better for second time around. Yay. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.