Page 7 - Shallow Holden w/ Holden McNeely

Episode Date: October 22, 2026

This week on Page 7, Jackie and MJ are joined by Jackie 2.0 (aka Post-Freaky Jackin' Friday ' Holden) and we're gossin' 'bout Miley callin' out "clickbait headlines" when it came to her Hollywood Bowl performance, it seems like Taytay and Tree Paine are linin' the pockets of 'Love Is Blind' season 11, or else 'Taylor Time' is real. Jackie won't ruin 'You Can See Everything'! 'Dancing With The Stars' is havin' all kinds of drama, and 'Love Is Blind' still seems to have that touch for finding the worst of the worst. Then we got a LIST of things that prove again we should all know a whole lot less about each other, and BLINDZ that may gaster some flabbers, AND SO MUCH MOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey everybody, it's Jackie and Kara from Who's the Bitch. And we're here to tell you about the Halloween bitch-a-thon Thursday, October 22nd. You know we're coming at you live, taking calls, listening to your bituations, and giving you advice as best we can. From 4 p.m. Pacific to 7 p.m. Pacific. That's 7 to 10 for the East Coasters. So grab your buzz balls and come on down and join us live, YouTube.com slash at Who's the Bee. We'll see you on Thursday. Come to page 7, everybody. My name is Jackie Zabrow. And I'm MJ. The Stories of the Week are Miley's Hollywood Bowl show, The Will Smith Slap

Rising from the Grave to wreak havoc on Dancing with the Stars, and Love is Blind's Taylor Time. But here at page seven, what do you do when your daddy's a whale? And you gobbled up by that daddy. Let me your mouth and I can scream at your belly. But I'll sloat out of you when I can. Oh, yeah. Hi, with little help from a whale. Oh, yes, indeed, everybody.

Hi, a little help from a whale. Yes, I saw whale fall. Yes, I saw you can see everything. No, I will not be spoiling. You can see everything on this show, but I will be spoiling whale fall. Sorry about that, but also welcome, Holden McNeely. Hey.

Oh, I didn't realize, is there a second Jackie in this? the house? Hey, it's me, Jackie. I thought you were giving Jackie. I had texted my husband and I worked too much. You know, here's the thing, MJ, because if you were wondering if Holden and I did a freaky Friday version of Jack and on Friday, you would be correct. That's why. Did we both dress up as each other? Yes, we did. Did I may have, maybe, I took it a little too far. She painted herself yellow. Green. She is our friendship. Okay, are we still friends? It was a bit, she, and by the way, all this time where I'm like,

I, me thinks me may be expanding like the universe. And then all, every time Jackie's like, no, no, you look great. It's true. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And I sing the whole song to him every time. What's getting to bring you down? And you're crying.

Yeah, yeah. Thank you so much. So I'm thin. And she's like, you're thin, bitch. Yeah, you're so thin. I show up. has stuffed her stomach with so much just a pillow or whatever it is. Well, also an umbilical hernia.

I did make sure that there was a representation of your hernia. So I really like learned what she really thinks about me, you know, that of a green, herniated, sweaty, disgusting, o'fish, drunkard, town square, drunkard, who hates being a father, who hates being a husband, who hates being. You know what I mean? At a certain point, because that is my reality. These are, but oh my God, my God.

I spent like a day at a pumpkin patch yesterday and KMS five. Thank you. Thank you. Exactly. Surprise. I'm going to make those jokes because the only jokes Holden was making about me

was that I have work a bunch and then I have sex with my husband. I have sex and that worked too much. That's what you made fun of me. And then I take it out. When I'm mad about other things, I take it out on Holden. Like the witch you are.

Any visual representation of Jackie? Were you too scared? I wore a red mesh shirt. I wore a wig. We threw some lipstick on me, some purple lipstick on me. And I thought we were calling it a day. But instead I didn't realize I needed to orchestrate a rig of sorts. I needed to really.

So next time we're going for it. It's going to be the most over the top, like to a point where we're like, is this a racist caricature? Like, that's how far I'm one to. go with it, you know, and really, really take her to task. Is just because I put a Shrek nose on? I did have a Shrek nose on. It was so much. I'm curious what green, as opposed to red.

He yells himself red sometimes, but green is that more of a gronky reference. I was thinking more gronky. I was thinking more lizard. I was thinking, and I explained to chat that really it all started because I didn't have anything to dress up as him. And I was like, oh, I know what I'll do? I'll paint myself green. And then I painted myself green.

And I was like, what am I? I'm on a lizard costume and I put on a lizard costume and I was like, this isn't it? What am I doing? So really, it just kind of like. And then you put that, put on the,

you channeled your inner Guineath Palo and you put on a fat suit. And I put on a fat suit. And I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I was calling it shallow hold in.

And really, it was a lot. She made a, put, made her chair breakable. So when she sat in it, it would collapse. Everything she, and she said,

oh, I've got a different chair. I've got a different chair. She brought out the different chair. It also collapsed. You know, all night. She was like, oh, she'd, like, rig up things to make it. So when she walked out of the room,

like you would see debris fall from the ceiling. Oh, yeah. It was a 4X experience, right? Yeah, it was really, the insults were so inherent in the space, is what I would say. It was, by the way, have you, maybe you've already heard about this. Have you heard about masquerade?

Masquerade. You mean the song? No. From Phantom of the opera? The fucking interactive speaking. No More style performances of Phantom of the Opera that are going on in New York City right now. It is full on the musical, but it is in multiple spaces. It is fully interactable and apparently it rules.

Think of me. Oh my God, I want to be there. Oh my God. Does he, like, bring you up into the wings? Does he like, does he torque you up against the fences? If you're lucky, I bet there is stuff like that going on. Yeah, because I think it's in like five different rooms. Are you looking it up right now, MJ?

All I'm getting is a restaurant called Masquerade. Oh, really? I'm telling you. I heard about it. It's like a Speak No More style interactive. And apparently it's like really cool. Oh my God. I want it.

I need. I need. This is the problem. MJ, I'm going to say this now. Acting like Holden for seven hours on Friday has unlocked a monster. Yeah. You have become him and he has become you. Did you just hear me go, I need?

I need it. Like I am. Like a child, like a, there are a lot of clips. Like an angry child, MJ, of me maybe getting into a thingy type place, you know, with our Friday. I will say I was scaring holding at points as I licked a knife. And I was getting really into. That was the thing. She started licking the knife and she did not stop.

And I think that's so important to remember that you can look at the things I do and be disgusted and upset by them. But put yourself in the position. you lick the knife, right? Once you embody, this is, you know, I'm fully convinced that my, one of my non-binary awakenings came from a night that I dressed in drag. And I was like, I actually feel more comfortable this way than the normal way. Right. And so, you know, sometimes Halloween or costumes in general, you discover an, a version of

yourself living inside of you that needs to be let free. And apparently for Jackie, that is Holden McNeely. Right. And I took on her role and was like, now I'm just a grumpy frumper. Now I'm just a grump from. Are you having more sex with your spouse? Who has sex with her spouse? You can answer it though.

That's why did this encourage you to maybe live a little bit more like me? Sure. I mean, I love... Did you take on extra projects? You're banging Lexi Moore? No, just mesh. Just wearing mesh when I get the mail

or when I, you know, go to the dentist or whatever. His nipples were really out and begging for attention. They were poking through like a little piglet. It was beautiful. Honestly, they're going... They were making these sounds that I didn't know that nipples could make. Absolutely. I saw pig races yesterday, by the way.

At this horrible pumpkin patch that you went to? A nightmare. They cost a lot of money. And then I assume that getting a ticket would allow you to just enjoy it. No, you've got to buy the tickets. No. You've got to buy the tickets. And also sometimes when you go to a concert, you've got to sing the songs for the artists.

What are we talking about, Miley? Don't you dare. What are we talking about, Miley? I am going to be what everyone, apparently on the internet, is for Kelly Clarkson, for Miley Cyrus. Wow. I'm going to say, she can do no wrong.

She can do no wrong. Don't tell me anything she's done that's ever been bad because it's impossible. I'm a rat. She's in a relationship with. And they won't say it, but that's why I'm glad I get to be here to say it. You Kelly Clarkson people are weirdos. It's a $15,000 bird, okay? So let's figure it out.

Okay, guys. And write to me, I'm my name at Gmail. Give me a shout if you want to. And guess what I'll say? What a journey. I'll say we've been, no. What a journey? Did you just write me about Kelly Clarkson or stupid bird?

And how you like, are, what are you crying for? Although I am really excited. I've seen all the I hate gay Halloween's. What do you mean you're dressing up as the $15,000 bird from art and play in the Brooklyn fight between Kelly Clarkson and Art and Play? And I think that's very funny. So I guess it's like a bird. It is already a drag show.

I already, it has already been on a stage with drag queens. It's like a bird with like strings coming out of it, right? It's not animatronic. It's an automaton. It's an automaton. So we, there was some misreporting on that. And yes, shout out to everyone giving us feedback on why Kelly Clarkson can do no wrong. The feedback is significant, I'll say.

It's thick. It's thick. But I am, again, I am saying this now about Miley Cyrus. she actually can do no wrong. And don't come at me. This whole thing's a bit odd for sure, right? Oh, by the way, let me get ahead of this. Okay, I get it the Taylor thing.

She's a billionaire, you know, whatever. Because people are like, oh, you don't like my Kelly, but you like your evil Taylor. We're going to be talking about that over on Dark Sided because, yeah, of course, Taylor Swift had to release her music video just right when Olivia Rodriguez and Chapel Rowan were putting out there. their release of expectations. She's a very interesting how she does that.

Oh yeah. Then she put out a whole song called Being a Mastermind? She's a Mastermind. She's not a girl's girl. Get over it. We hear talking about Miley. Yes, back to Miley. Because Miley is a girl's girl, okay?

That is nothing to do. Miley wouldn't do this kind of thing, okay? But apparently, according to the people that have seen her performances at the Hollywood Bowl recently, now this is coming out from Miley. We all know she dislikes performing. She doesn't like to do it. It hasn't been done a live show in four years, has explicitly said like, I never wanted to tour again in my life. Yes.

And it's why she's literally doing shows in L.A. Because she's like, okay, I will do these. You guys come to me. You see me perform and that's all I'm going to do. But then, even then. Yeah. Because I understand why everybody is getting so upset because as somebody that just recently, oh my God, trying to get tickets for this like one night only thing that I was so excited about.

And of course, people immediately went in, bought all the tickets. They all were immediately jacked up to like $600 a ticket. And here's a thing. If you're paying $600 a ticket and you get to that point, then you're like, I want to see the person perform when they are performing. Sure. But the problem is that it's not Miley's fault that all the horrible people took all the tickets and jacked up all the prices. But it is Miley's fault when she is handing out, like for all the choruses, putting out the microphone to the audience for them to sing along. But the thing is also, this is not a new

thing that artists have been doing. And I feel like recently I've been seeing artists get called out for this. Now, I have not been the people spending $600 a ticket to go to these concerts. So I don't know, maybe are they doing it more than they used to do it? But I kind of like when everybody's singing in the audience and we're singing together. But word on the street is, most of the songs, Miley just had the microphone out to the audience, not singing and having the audience do it. Right. It's like a percentage question because I feel like Robin has gone viral for this experience of

like having everybody sing dancing on my own back to her and she's just standing there. Which is wonderful. You get an allotment of crowd singing together and it sounds like maybe Miley passed that a lot meant to the point where people felt like she just wasn't singing her own songs. I mean, it's funny because also I'm seeing a lot of modern pop, especially if you happen to be like a more dance forward, like let's say a Tate McCray, literally be like,

doing all these moves and stuff and then just be like, and then I thought, like literally just like they'll say like three words into the microphone and then it's clearly, you know, they just have their own vocal on a backing track. So it's, but they're dancing their asses off. Sure.

So like I can't do those things and dance. You know, right, right. I'm just, it opens up the question of, of, yeah, that percentage, right? Like, how important is it, you know, depending on the artist, for them to be singing? These are just the choruses, though, right? I mean, these are not. Or, but at the same time, you're there to see them sing the song.

It's weird. It's like, I can't fully judge because I have to watch, see the show, to be like, wow, this is egregious or not. It's hard to tell, because she responded to it, because on her second show, she was like, oh, I I forgot I have to sing every fucking word of the song. But I would also, like, posit to people who are upset that they didn't get the full experience because she didn't sing all of party in the USA or whatever. I would argue that you are getting something else, which is, like, Miley on stage for the first time in four years, being vulnerable, rediscovering her performance.

Like, you know, the footage of her sitting down and talking about Dolly is, like, I think that would be an invaluable experience to be a part of, even if she's like, I'm kind of phoning it in for party in the USA. I feel like that's just, that's, you got a night with the Miley who lives here in 2006, who is like somebody who's trying to survive a very, very damaged, you know, life. And I feel like, again, don't know, don't know how much she didn't sing. But I feel like the people who are mad that she kind of like didn't sing her greatest hits maybe want a Miley of yesteryear that that isn't here anymore. Miley of yesteryear indeed.

I'm with you on that. I think it's, again, it can be difficult because it's like, first of all, at a pop show, a lot of times when it comes to, let's say, a song like Flowers or whatever, which I think is overrated anyways, whatever, come at me. I think Flowers is Mid. Why are you throwing flowers under the, why is Flowers Mid? I'm going to do the opposite of giving someone their flowers about a song called Flowers. I want to remove flowers.

Don't disparage. At least if we're going to disparage Miley's, that she's not singing the full songs. Don't make fun of the songs that are obvious bangers. Flowers is mid. But I will say... I want to hear what you're writing. Okay, I bet it's mid.

I bet that's mid. Well, let me my song writing out of this, bro. Yeah, well, I'm going to bring the song writing right back into it. You wait to hear my full review of Holden's every single thing that he's writing right when we get back from this ad. That actually brings me to my next point, Jackie. Oh, you want to go through your songs? Well, I was going to say for flowers and stuff like that, just usually you can't even hear the singer anyways, because everyone in the audience is singing the songs so fucking loud anyways.

And that might even even been like her thinking in terms of that. Like, for flowers, dude, I might as well just because they just scream it at me. You know what I mean? Yeah. But really the other point I was making in terms of what you were just saying was like, yeah, yeah, exactly. Like, go for it, y'all. Do you want to figure out how, like, and I feel the same way about a chapel lately. It's like, oh, you want her just never perform live again?

Do you want Chabell to just never make another album? Keep it up, bitches. Because of the constant criticism. Exactly. Yeah, it's like, dude, she just got back on stage and you're going to take a shit on her. Yeah. And now she's not going to want to do it again. Dude, she's already pissed off.

It's night too and she's already mad. Yeah. She's already having to defend herself. Yeah. Right. I feel like that's also like the final boss of like how online commentary like started as something that felt constructive and has now. become so destructive that it like is ruining the second night of a standalone series of shows.

Even if you're right. Even if you're right. Like dude, all that's going to do is just make her be like, I made the right choice. I shouldn't perform live because it's just not worth it. It's not worth this. Now I'm already pissed off. I got to make a comment about it on stage. Right. And especially I think again with Miley it hits differently because how many times, how many child stars have we talked about who have died or lived, you know, just just lived the most devastating, horrible experiences of, you know, that we could ever imagine. And so we either watch a child star like flame out and become extremely, you know, make like these self-destructive choices.

They become like a Dick Tracy villain. They're just like, the bod of the head is huge, but their little baby face is all tiny in the head. Yeah. Like Haley Joel Osmond. Yeah, exactly. So, yeah, I feel like, you know, then if we see a celebrity who is trying to, who's outspoken about her mental health,

outspoken about trying to make choices that like keep her life and her better for her, but also like sustainable to like still make art and still make music, then yeah, I don't know. I kind of feel like we should be like, this is good.

Like this is better than destroying yourself. To preserve oneself is better than to destroy oneself. I also just think that I just see a lot of pop stars doing. This is the other problem I have with online discourse is like, we just have such. a weird way of picking and choosing who we're going to attack for something I feel like is industry-wide. Like in terms of

pop stars kind of taking breaks from singing their choruses because a pop song has a very repetitive chorus to like do other stuff to like put the mic out or like dance or whatever it happens to be, you know? Do a little jig, a little can-can. Yeah, but how do you feel when they're upset and then they take to the

social media to threaten one of the judges? Yeah, we're talking about you, Val, and we're talking about dancing with the stars because Carrie Ann was not going to take it. And I guess technically it has nothing to do with Carrie Ann and Abba. It has to do with the full show seeing what Val posted because this is now, this was a huge thing in the world of dancing with the stars. Huge. Because it's the second time that Carrie Ann and Abba has pulled out the definition of what a lift is to a dancer to kind of be like, and you didn't do it.

Because lifts are allowed in certain dances and not in others. I had to look this up. I was like, since when do we not lift? Everyone's constantly getting lifted. But it was a samba holden. And you're not supposed to. And he did a lift? No, there was no lift.

But there was a lift. The choreographer, Jenna Johnson, who is married to another professional dancer. So the professional dancer is partnered with Harry Shum Jr. And we love the Harry Shum Jr. She's anatomy. So Jenna Johnson is her. She gets in trouble with one of the judges because Harry Shum Jr. did a flip in the in the samba. It wasn't her lifting him. It was like other dance members, but she in this feedback was like, that's a lift. And Jenna Johnson was like a little defensive about it on live TV. She was like, what lift? And now Jenna Johnson's husband is also a professional

dancer. His name is Val Russian Russian. Russian. And Val is like, standing in the background, you see on live TV like, ooh, the judge is being mean to my wife. I don't like this. But then he took to the internet. Again, anytime you're thinking about taking to the internet, don't. Take it down.

Just stop yourself. Talking to you, Kelly Clarkson fans, but Val said... Why, Kelly Clarkson has put us all in danger, MJ, okay? And we need to remember that Kelly Clarkson has put us all in danger. No, we need to advocate for her because she is the victim here. Kelly Clarkson has given us so much good music for so many years and so we blindly follow her

They were judging her for her sweatpants They were judging her for her sweatpants Eight emails Eight You got eight She put everything back on the shelf Holden She put everything back on the shell That's everything back on the shelf

That means she's a good person It means that she deserves that bird Who are these people Who are willing to fight for someone But the store is also bad. Not going to go to bed for the store. Everyone's, everyone sucks here, right? Like, it's one of those where obviously the, but this is the funny thing about the internet is

because I see this with a lot of things going on. Hey, sometimes two things can be true. Exactly. I don't understand this black and white thinking. It's like either this. No, no, no. Kelly Clark's going to be a total ridiculous. I'm going to just say shithead about this.

by like weaponizing her social media army against this little like little shop and at the same time it's a shop in Brooklyn I've seen it a million times they're all douchebags they're all ridiculous assholes

that's Brooklyn for you that can also be true but all of it's true yeah and she also seems really nice that's also true sure but so why did she do this but what about Val no we're back to Val

we're talking dancing with this Stars. Okay, so Val posts, you, Holden, this is where you're gonna, I know you're like Dancing with the Stars, what does this mean to me? Anybody who doesn't watch Dancing with the Stars, this is still a relevant conversation. Because Val Post, remember, he's talking about his wife who just got criticized

by like the mean judge, who said, quote unquote, mean judge, he says, you almost saw Fresh Prince enter the ballroom last night. Now, this is perhaps relevant that two former cast members of Fresh Prince are part of the show. I'm not sure that currently. I don't know if that's why he said it,

but obviously he's referencing Will Smith's keep my wife's name out of your mouth moment. And so Carrie Ann, the judge who said that was a lift, posted it and said, is that what we're doing? Is this what we're doing now? And so then Val got in trouble. And for the first time in 35 seasons of Dancing with the Stars, he has been suspended for one week. And so now he can't dance with Jenna Dewan. If his person gets kicked off.

And she's like, She's the favorite. That's the thing. She's not going to get kicked off, but it is a considerable, I would say, disruption for her arc. Who's like going for it? Oh, yeah. Yeah. And the drama continues because then this other dancer, professional dancer, Alan Burstyn is going to step in and sub.

And then this other professional dancer, Gleb, who incidentally was Hilaria Baldwin's partner last year, is shit-talking Alan on like his live, be able to be able to be able to be. like Glebs not up to the level of dancing. So the dancers are ripping each other to shreds. But don't worry. If you were wondering if Hilaria is still weighing in, she is. She is posting every week so how what she feels about this whole disruption, about how she feels about it. And she lost first on her season, right? She was like, she lost kind of like midway through.

Damn. Also, did you see, this was, I don't know if I believe Alec Baldwin just lost his mother and then in this post How did she make it about her? The whole post is all of her and all of the kids in like matching PJs like talking about like oh we like what the mother had done for like cancer organization stuff like that but it was just like

us and the kids and it was just like why are you posting these like weirdly like JCPenny but in your like living room all matching pajama like pictures about their grandmother dying. It was, okay, Jackie, it's even weirder because she died in 2022. So I think that the matching pajamas were like a tribute to breast cancer, maybe because they were pink, some of them.

Some of them? It was, I think that this is, if none of us knew what the message was about, I think whatever effort to raise awareness has failed because we are not aware of what the message was supposed to be. Yeah, I've less awareness. Never been more unaware in my life. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, I don't know.

I think that this dancing drama is very interesting. By the time this show goes up, this week's episode will have already happened. But I think that, again, thinking about the role, the zombie role of Will Smith's slap, thinking about, like, going off and firing off your mouth online when you're mad, and then now getting yourself completely fucked and, like, fucking your partner. Like, unprecedented levels of fuck. This has never happened before. Yes, you're completely correct.

And, in fact, actually, like, I'm sad because I wanted to see Val and Jenna and what they were cooking. up this week because man, together, it really is. It's a fire on the dance, blah. She's a good dancer, yeah. But then this is the problem every time. And then check out page seven reacts. We have been putting up our Dancing with the Stars reactions every week. So give us a follow page 7 LPN over on Instagram so that you guys know that I am obsessed

with Harry Shum Jr. I'm never going to watch Grey's Anatomy, but I am falling in love with him. And apparently he's going to show up on glee. I will also throw it out there that. and I are both huge into Ezra Freck, and I know. Holden, if you and Lexi were just watch Dancing with the Stars, you guys would lose your minds. No, did.

We're in East of Eden right now, man. Very different than this. No good, bro. I do really want to watch East of Eden. In fact, I'm actually upset that East of Eden dropped during spooky season. I feel like it's not fair because I want to see the Pueenator. Oh, of course it's fucked up. It's East of Eden.

It's one of the greatest stories of all. It's pretty dark. Have you ever read East of Eden, MJ? I have not, but I love John Steinbeck and I am... Bro. It's so good. AJ, you would lose your mind for Issavene.

And Lexi's never read it either. And she... And she already, like, downloaded the audible book because of just watching the first few episodes. Like, we are hooked. It's like seven episodes. Florence Pew, it could not be a better casting for this role.

And she is dominated. the greatest female characters ever. She's just one of, it's all over the place. And I remember, it's another one of these books that specifically all of us

happened to be reading around the same time when we were in New York. It was just one of those where we were all just like talking about East of Eden for like a month. It's just this amazing like American tale

fivals in it. There's all, yeah, the streets are made out of cheese. Yeah, it's so good. And then there's just, yeah, violence and sex. No, it's like generations of a family. Yeah, yeah.

It's a family. Beautiful American story. But with very obviously biblical undertones throughout the whole thing. And that's the part that Holden likes the best. I love Christ in the hang. Go off, go off. She hears you.

Oh, did someone say Christ in heaven? Gronky. No, Gronky's not here. Gronky was there. And you wonder why I was a big disgusting creature, Holden. That you always are wanting to bring in gronky or thingy. I was, man, once you start licking a knife, I understand once you pop, you can't stop.

I was in ecstasy, but I had to pretend to be all frumpy and grumpy. But then I really was feeling the Britney Spears of it all and I realized and I was like, should I be? Whoa. Dude, it's so fun to blade dance. Whoa, blade. Yeah, and then we were blade dancing. It really got, things got weird. But anyway.

Can I just say something real quick? It's, to me, it's like the slap is radio. active. There is no. Nothing good has ever come of it. It's like that picture like the elephant's foot that like radioactive like epistence. Oh, Natalie was just bringing up the elephant's foot last week.

Oh. Yeah, it's like the elephant's foot. It's just like the elephant's foot. It's just the epicenter. Like you do not invoke the slap on any level in terms of like no. A comparison to your own life. Especially when you're talking about not to be like this talking about a female judge as well. It's like it's all bad.

Yeah. As a black guy, it would have been different. No, I'm just saying at least if it was, at least if it was Derek, I wouldn't be, like, you especially don't say Carrie Ann and Abba, I'm going to smack you in that. Yeah, yeah. His statement also afterwards was like, I didn't think about that. I just thought about the keep my wife's name out of your mouth part. And it's like, you didn't think about the slap. The slapping part of it?

Right after he said that. Of course you did it. Everyone remember, really everyone mostly remembers the slap. The slap. Everybody remembers two things. fact that a man slapped another man assaulted a man on stage. And then we awarded him minutes later.

Minutes later, we gave him one of the highest awards you could get in this industry. And he cried. And he cried. And he's never going to be allowed back. Well, that's not true. I think he's only got like three more years. Are they really still trying to have, I feel like they don't want him anywhere near

that theater. Depends on if he does a really good role in something. And then all of us are going to be like, what slap? I think he built back a lot of goodwill Just purely from that video With Tatian Ali doing the Dochi anxiety dance I will say he lost a lot though He put out a rap album bro

I don't know if you're keyed in He's all over the crappy music subreddit I mean he has been so shit on For trying to be rapping again Which probably was a reaction to him being like Well I should probably step away from acting for a little bit. So what if I?

Does he do like Wild West Dewey? Dude, it's so bad. Really? Oh, you gotta look. Yeah, it's so corny. That's so funny. I think he's gradually reinserted himself into kind of like celebrity culture,

but perhaps sounds like not so successfully. Everybody needs to wait longer. I mean, even this thing with Miley, I'm kind of like, flowers is so mid. No, I'm kind of like, I love so much of her music, by the way. Miley, if you're listening, I'm so, whatever. She is holding.

I love you, I don't care. You can hate me. It's fine. I hate me. But anyways, with Miley, you know,

I'm like four years. I didn't even really notice that she had left. She didn't give me long enough to even consider missing her. I'm like, oh, cool, she's before,

she's back on tour. That's, you know what he mean? Like, that's the weird thing about this is, I feel like now that everyone shit on her singing,

not singing to the choruses or whatever, I feel like that is actually maybe going to alienate her from the stage a very long time, but... I think that she's specifically not going to go back because of this. I don't think she's going to do it.

I think you're 100% right. Now, I, we've got to bring up just me, I'm going to give love out to Liz Laf, NYC, for hitting us up talking about Love is Blind, and it was just so weird, because I happened to have chosen this season to jump back into. How we feeling about it? And then I got the message from Liz Laugh, NYC, about the, about this current. season. And it was just weird because I was like weird that I had like weirdly just been kind of drawn back in. I don't think I've watched in like three seasons. And I was like, let me check back in

with what's going on over at Love is Blind. Wow. You know, it's worse. It is worse. And I immediately was so sad because this person that Liz was talking about, because she brought up talking about Taylor time and talking about like the the how cardigan and Betty and August are all intertwined and this was coming from this like dude named Mori who I kind of immediately fell in love with and apparently nobody else did and then he was gone. Yeah I like that he yeah I like that he was weird and that he didn't talk about his emotions and then she chose somebody else instead and I'm but then the guy stew which I'm so glad to see that apparently stew is going to continue on being dismayed. because this guy, and I'm so happy that you wrote this down, MJ, because he came out the gate talking about how he's like Gaston and how Gaston gets a bad rep and how no one's really thought about it. It's like he loved Bell.

And then when she got kidnapped by that big ugly guy, he went that even though she wouldn't put out, he still went to go save her. He still went to save her. So he's a good guy, even though he was essentially stealing her, hoping. to steal her body to be his own. My pussy clamped shut forever. Like even just hearing that, like if a man said that to me, regardless of whatever he looked like across the wall,

I don't want to see this man. I don't want to be in a relationship with this man, right? If you choose guest on side, I don't want to fuck you. And he's getting dragged. He's going viral for many reasons. He said that his friends, he meets his person. She's obviously repulsed by him. And like, and he's like, so my friends say that I look like Kennedy.

And then he goes, Jackie Kennedy. And I'm like, Jackie Kennedy was hot. A woman also. And hot. I mean, Jack Kennedy was a handsome man, but Jackie can't be famously, you know. We got to stop. Is this happening? That's my name.

Yeah, I remember. In previous seasons, never say you look like a notably attractive person. Remember Megan Fox. You'll always be let down. Like you'll always let them down. How hot is the lady? This is my favorite. This is the only thing I like about the show,

really at this point, is just when a hot. Slickety, sliggity, sliggity hot. When a hot lady chooses an ugly goober guy. And then you see the, just the life just drain from their eyes the moment they see the ugly man. Because you're so right,

holding, even the other people. And they liked how each other looked. And I think that their relationship is going to hopefully blossom well, but he had said in the pods, yeah, all the guys keep saying it looked like Clark Kent. And I was like, what guys? Yeah.

I don't like that guy. What are you talking about? He's not an unattractive man. I just wouldn't look at him and be like, oh my God, is that Superman? It's a monster you don't see. Like don't plant a seed in someone's mind or you won't be able to plant a seed inside of their vagina. But that also, that guy also, the guy who's like, I look like Clark Kent also says, that he is not, he doesn't like abortions because people shouldn't just be waiting

till six months and then getting one at six months because they didn't get around to it. To throw my television off of the balcony. Open the schools, people. That's my takeaway from love is blind. Open the schools. Start a self-esteem camp for women so that they can know that this buffet of horrific losers is, they should never even contemplate. Or do what you did.

Come a man. I mean, I think that's the better option. Whatever you have to do to flee these men. Nightmares. That's how bad the men are on Love is Blind. M.J. was compelled to become a man just to like a point. I just. Shear notion that it would be possible for you to be in one of the boots.

What I did appreciate that they kept in, thanking Netflix, I guess, is that the woman immediately was like, you know most people don't get abortions at six months, right? You do understand that that's not like the, the statistics of where abortions got. Like you do it. And he did like kind of back off. But why did she still choose him? She's so sorry.

You say something like that that you're against abortion because everybody's getting them at six months. He's also an anti-vexer. If you don't know anything about this or what's going on with this or what I've had to do to deal with this, I don't want you anywhere close to it. 100%. You're being a real angry woman right now, Jackie. Yeah, I am.

And you're going to have to hold on and hear if I continue being angry at the state of men in general, right when we get back from this ad break. Yep, still angry. You surprised. Borsion at checkout. Yeah, but only if you're six months, you know, because then it's, you know, then you're just doing it because, oh, you forgot about it. And it was the way he talked to, I was disgusting. But Jackie, no women like their burger medium rare. some like it well done.

You're right. You got to shuck them out of there before it's dry. And he also, the same guy in the same conversation, said that he was against the COVID vaccine. And, you know, because she's still

So the issue still is that they just cannot find decent men. There's no, there's nothing out there. To be on the show. I mean, that's the difference, right? I think there's women out there that are drawn to a show like this because they're like, you know, interested and curious about like the process, everything.

And then there's just like, I think for the guy's side, it's a lot of just being like, oh, me like TV. Me want to see me on the TV, you know? Like, I don't know if it goes past that. The women are like health care workers and the men are like, one started his own cornhole entertainment company. Sure. One is just like a professional sailor. Man, that guy too, he's just like, yeah, I figured to be pretty hard.

coming on. He's literally trying to find someone that is going to be okay with her being at home, being this like getting studded for him to go be on a boat. I thought he wanted her to just be on the boat with him all the time. See, that would be great. Not even. No, no, old. And he wants her to have a family, have the family so that he can go do his job on his boat and then he's going to be gone and then he'll come back. And then she's like, what about child care? And he's like, well, you know, I'll try to be home, you know, more. What about? I just So I

Well you can't have some fat pregnant woman on your boat It's going to sink the shit It'll sink the shit They already have an anchor They don't need another one And the fish and sharks can smell the fresh baby It's yes it's the baby It's the blood

You can't have them anywhere You can have mineral blood A rust Yeah No it's gonna rust shut These women are like I mean I guess I don't really want a guy Who lives on a boat

But maybe You know like Maybe Maybe I'm not so said Because Love yourself. Where are they going to love themselves? They're not going to do it on the dating apps.

And that's your only option now. You can't go out into the world. No men are going to even, they're afraid. They're terrified. That's why I love shoutouts to that Olivia Rodriguez song, Expectations. God, it's great. The new chapel remix is so good. And I love how they've addressed.

They're like, your passivity sucks, bro. Like, it's so unattractive. Like, just grab a woman. No matter what's going on. She's like, I don't want, you know. There you go. There you go. Learn from Holden McNeely.

Just lick her all over. Yeah. What source is going? What a lawsuit? Yeah, I know. I know. What are you going to do? You see, you're sounding actually more and more like Miley every day because M.J.

Holden had found this video of Miley talking. It was a 2020 video. And she was talking about how she doesn't have time for. sex so she doesn't like foreplay and it's literally just like just get it in and get it out of me I don't want to look at a dick I don't want to be I don't want to have sex I'm busy working on my album I'm just gonna get back to editing music and I just love it because Holden is just like see this is what women want and I was like that's not what we should take from this video it's great what we should take something I don't even usually need lube just fucking hide that dick and that is not

the gay shit for many, many people that exist. No form play nothing. She's too, she's working on her shit, man. She gave me sitting around dealing with your stupid ass dick. And she thinks vaginas are like way hotter than that was, yeah, she was just like, I'd much rather make out with a woman. That was, it sounds like if she's like, if I have to have sex with a man, just get it in, get it out of me. Yeah, just fucking make it happen. Which I think is wonderful. But also I'm like, Miley, I know you identify spanned sexual. but it sounds like you really enjoy having sex with women

and you really don't enjoy having sex with men. So you identify however, but this is data. Look, if a little rat she's with. I mean, I feel like he's so, I'm sorry, it's just he's busy on the hamster wheel. And I think that, like, he doesn't have also the time to do the four-play either, so maybe this is for the best. Yeah.

A little schmeagle boy. He is schmigling all around, isn't he? I bet his feet are huge, too, you know what I mean? Or maybe he's had the plastic surgery done by now to shave them down. Shave them down. Because he's got my little money.

I bet he's got feet like Bobby's World. You know, that cartoon. Yeah. I don't think I remember their feet. Howie Mandel? Bobby had massive feet.

Big. That was like one of his things. Big feet. That's probably one of my first early disgusted feet. It's probably one of my early ones of those

where I was like, ugh, get it off out of my face. Bobby's world? Get out of my face. Was he towing at you? Yeah, though. He's wearing shoes,

Holden. Oh. I think there was some, like, uh, pajama scenes in there. I don't know what you've been watching, but I guess it's time for the list. Oh, who's on the list? Jackie, got to have that list. Celebrities revealed something jaw-dropping messy on downright wild on television. Oh, snap.

On the tonight show starring Jimmy Fallon, Billy Eilish revealed she once farted in her best friend's mouth while she was yawning and she threw up. While talking about the incident, Ilish said it was so funny. When asked to defend her actions, Ilish exclaimed, it was silent. Look, I did not think it would be bad, but those are always the worst ones. Now, here's just the question of, I can't imagine getting my ass all the way up to your mouth. Yeah, yeah. I must want to play like a game of smash and pass with this list. And I will start.

I smash on this one. I don't think it's like cool to fart in your friend's mouth. But when something grows happens and your friends start to be. It's like one of the best experiences. It is pretty great. You are completely correct. So I smash on that. What do you think of, Jay?

Do you smash her pass? I was about to pass, but honestly, you convinced me I will smash. And it wasn't on purpose. It clearly was an accident. She sneezed and that's how the fart happened. Maybe she's lying about that, but if she's not, I smash. In 2018, Shania Twain shared a really embarrassing moment on watch what happens live. The singer admitted that she's wet herself in front of an audience multiple times.

I feed myself on stage. The show must go on. She says, speaking about a particular time, she shared, I stood up from my chair to get up and sing. I peed myself and the puddle, I just knocked my glass of water over onto it. I was wearing a skirt. Okay, I was going to smash. So she had pissed so much that there was a puddle that she, and I actually, I feel like I was going to pass and then I smash because of the cover up. I think I love that.

I had the opposite. I was going to pass. He was like, look, especially, and I, I get it, you know, I'm the guy here. I do know a thing or two about vagina pussies, okay? And one thing I do know is, oh, yeah, yeah, please tell us everything you know. Chey-I-Twin has kids, right? Yes, she does have kids. Come on.

It's not her fault that she peed, yes, agree. I'm smashing, um, because, yeah, it's not her fault. Because you're both piss-hounds. I'm only packed, pelvic floor dysfunction is not. Yeah, that is a natural thing. But the puddle, I don't know about is the puddle part, and I'm kind of passing on the puddle there. Because I don't think that kind of... But you're in the middle of the show.

You're not going to be like, oh, custodian, I peed. Shout out to Lil Nasax. One of my favorite moments when he has to run backstage and take a shit and he's still on the microphone. He's just like, I'm so sorry, guys.

I had to take a shit. I had to do this. I had to get it. Sometimes she's got to do it. I'd rather that. Just go piss. I'd listen to the whole thing in ecstasy. Or just take a moment.

You can just take the moment and go piss, girl. You know what I mean? Yeah. I smash the pelvic floor thing, but I pass. My line is drawn on the puddle. Now, this might be something you definitely smash on in 2013. Now, we know this, but it's one of my favorite facts.

2013, Kesha appeared on Jimmy Kim alive and said she believes that her vagina was once haunted by a ghost. She says, you're laughing, but it's very serious. It's a problem. It sounds ridiculous. But in all honestly, I believe in all this crazy shit, I believed I had dead people in me. You're laughing? My vagina is haunted by. by a ghost and you're laughing.

I just love the actual. She actually did the you're laughing meme. But in real life. I think I smash. I mean, I don't know if it really happened and I just think sometimes we have crazy dreams and things like that,

but I want to believe. I want to believe. You know I want to believe. Smash. Ever since I saw Dan Aykroyd get his penis sucked by a ghost and ghostbusters. Of course.

Of course. We've all wanted it ever since. Yeah, we've wished for that. Now, this is something that I don't wish for and I feel like this is one of those things that you think that you want to wish for, and I feel it Milakunis is just exacerbating on that. That's not the word.

In 2016 episode of The Late Late Show with James Gordon, Milakunis revealed the real size of husband Ashton Cout's penis when she said it was similar to a beer can. After some back and forth between the guests and James Gordon pointing out that some cans are more stout, she clarified that it's more like a Guinness. And that makes me. horrified.

I'm going to say pass because I don't believe it. I'm going to say pass because I don't believe it. Pass because I don't believe it. Pass because I don't believe it? Like a tall boy? Is she saying it's a tall boy? It's a tall boy and a thick boy? Not a tall boy, but like kind of somewhere in between. It's bigger than like your normal can,

which would be too stubby and wide, right? Yes. But I pass because I really don't believe it and I think you would be more accurate if you were using an object to describe your husband's job. genitals, right? Like you would,

that's so outlandish that I just don't believe it at all. Maybe a fucking Stella Artois can, bitch. Whoa. A Miclobe Ultra, bitch. Yeah, I bet it's 90 calories. A coronita. Yeah, bitch. Or those little tiny like Coke Zero little mini-can.

Oh, yeah. Just an eight-ounceer. That's all you need. Last but not least, Jennifer Lopez got real and honest in a 2015 episode of the Ellen DeGenerous show. The Pop Star Revol. revealed that she once hired a dancer because she wanted to hook up with him.

But not in the beginning, she explained. She also revealed that she also snuck a man into her house while her kids were asleep. Most of the reason why I wanted to say this was because did you see that there are rumblings that J.Lo and Brett Goldstein are stupin. Which one's Brett Goldstein? Brett Goldstein from Ted Lassau. Oh. The sex from Ted Lassow. And the one that loves the Muppets that did all the Muppets, the one that the one that

I, oh, and he's so grumpy, but he's so chickly funny. And I would watch the tape, I'd watch the tape, but watch the tape, but watch the tape, and watch the tape. I feel nothing. I feel just sympathy, and my heart goes out to anyone who is in a relationship with that woman. I just, I feel the utmost for them. I hope that they can make it through this difficult time in their lives and come out the other side stronger for it. That's how I feel. And you're saying that, not because you're a sexist, but because we,

We watched This is Me Now, the documentary, and we saw that she is a extremely controlling person who does not listen to what her partners want. This goes back to the beginning when I said, two things can be true at once.

Yeah. You're a sexist and that's what. And that's what you meant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you know, this is good. I'm glad that we talked to this thing. I mean, she just seems very challenging to be in a relationship with.

Yeah, most geniuses are. Yeah, she's like, in some ways you could almost say at times too driven. Yeah. Yeah, and I would say that about myself. And maybe you would have said that about myself when you were me during Friday. I did say that. I said you worked too hard. Yeah, thank you.

And you take it out on other people. Speaking of working toward taking out of other people, we didn't really get to the news, but you did mention Ellen. And I just love the idea that she is just like, I'm bored. I'm going to get back into TV, especially when she mentioned. I just want her laugh in the writer's room again. Because every story. I have heard from writers who worked on that show

was very not laughing with writers in the room. It was a place of fear and anger and there was just a lot of crying. Yes, and I'm excited to get into that even more over on page seven dark side. Yeah, yeah. But for now, I'd love to see if MJ can see. Oh, well, that's an interesting question

because I was just listening and listening and investing in my auditory senses that I think I have gone too far and I have lost my eyesight and I think I'm going. They're blind. They're blind. They're blind. They can't see that.

We can't see that. We can't see. Oh, it's Lori and MJ over there. Good. God. And then I have a stigmatism in the left eye, so I would have got to check it out. I do.

But then the right eyes started to fade. It was just, oh my God. And then it starts to become the orbs of light. Steinbeck over here. Can't drive it. night, yeah. Okay. So, these ones all have answers this week. You're welcome. Blind number one, score one for the former late night actor who beat up this fired late night actor when the fired late night actor told the former late night actor about pleasuring himself to videos of this A-list

singer, sometimes actress, from when she was super young on teen shows. Uh, I mean, how far back are we going here? We current. I mean, I was going to say Bill Murray. No, no, no. All three of these people are people very much in the current

pop culture zeit guys. Bill Murray who classically punched Chevy Chase in the face. These are two stand-up. There's just two hosts, right? You said late-night host. They said actors. So I immediately went to like SNL.

Yeah. Right? Whatever they say late night, I'm too much of a blinds pro from doing it so long. When they say late night actor, it almost always means SNL. Because like what other late night show where like it's performers? They would say host.

Yeah. You know what I mean? So that's exactly right. So this involves one person who has been on Saturday Night Live as a cast member. And one person who, how do I not give this away, has been on Saturday Night Live. In a host capacity. In a host capacity. and perhaps had was going to be in as a

like a shame gillis I was going to say shang gillis okay all right Shane gillis is the puncher Shane gillis is the punchee Shane gillis is the punchee Punchee I really want to watch

Alec Baldwin punch Shane gillis in the face I mean come on when you're at the gym is it just the oh yeah yeah yeah come on I mean they're just so hoary yeah because you would know Right? Because all the time that you've been spending at the gym.

This would be the second time I'm being fat-shamed by Jackie. And that's what you're going to get the more you call them whores inside of the gym. And you're going to keep getting fat-shamed over and over again because we know you're not in the gym, Shane Gillis. We know. Okay? I run. I run outside. I don't have a gym, okay?

Because I'm poor, Jackie. No, so that you don't have to look upon the whores. We understand. And yes, that's what it is. I'm too poor for hores. You're only looking at the street whores. But what Saturday Night Live actor dated somebody who is a really famous singer and actress who, yes, was famous when she was young. So let me take that back with the names.

Score one for Pete Davidson who beat up Shane Gillis when Shane Gillis told Pete Davidson that he used to pleasure himself to videos of Ariana Grande from when she was super young on teen shows. I can't wait to actually follow up on this in my own private life because I can definitely get an answer. I doubt this is true because I feel like I actually would have heard this story. I feel like we would have heard this story. This is such a juicy, juicy story. There's no way that this wouldn't have gotten out. But I love the idea of it. I love to think of it.

Who knows, yeah, but who knows? But yeah, I think that story is truly a product of the just pure and absolutely reasonable rage that people are feeling towards. Towards Shane Gillis right now, I guess, do what, did you talk about it on darksided or did you talk about it on... We talked about it everywhere. Everywhere, right? Yeah, yeah.

So, like, yeah, he was a little right in what he said, but I feel like... I'm just kidding. Obviously, I agree. No, I just, it's also just like, you know, I'll just say, I'll just say is just a laziness in terms of the... That's what we got into.

That's essentially what we talked about. It's like just you gotta, you can't, look, you're, everyone knows it. you're a modern day philosopher and you're not allowed to say what you want anymore, right? You're our Plato, apparently. You're our Socrates, you know? You're talking to Shane Gillis right now? Yeah.

Oh, yeah, I'm not talking to UMJ. I know, I'm John Steinbeck, you already told me. You don't live in Austin. You don't do any of these things. But, yeah, I mean, these Austin people, you know, they are, yeah, they are our Socrates. Yeah, going to the UFC fight on the White House lawn. That's why we ripped through the blind items. Yeah, we already talked about Shane Gillis.

I'm not done talking about it. I'm just saying he's modern day played up, so you need to put a little more work into it if you're plagued. All right, blind number two. Speaking of creepy, this permanent A-list actress, who is an Oscar winner slash nominee, once asked her much, much younger co-star from an acting family if she would be interested in being the first sex

for an offspring of the A-lister. So we're talking famous. mom asked a famous young actress if she wanted to be her son's first sex. So famous mom, famous young. Famous teenager. Famous teenage son. This mom has many children. But she asked a famous teenage actress if she would sleep with her son.

Is it Jenner? Of what child? Where? What do you mean? There's a lot of their children? I'm trying to think of like who would try to sell off their children? Hilaria, but her children are too young. So I'm hoping that she looks at her children. They're too young to sell them off.

So who's got a bunch of kids? Madonna. Yeah, and I would say this sounds less like you're selling off your son, but more like you're maybe trying to be like a cool mom, but in like an extremely creepy way. Like, do you want to sleep with my son? Is the teenage son famous? No.

Okay. Just the mom in the actor. And the mom's an actor? Mom's an actor of an Oscar winner and slash nominee. And, you know, I think this mom is, we could imagine her making some pretty weird decisions. Jamie Lee Curtis? No, much weirder than that.

She's got a lot, she's a weird mom with a lot of kids. Angelina Jolie? Yes. And she asked, okay, acting family, how do I give hints for this person? I was thinking of famous. She's a virginity. There's no selling, Jackie. She's just trying to set them up to fuck.

I feel like it's kind of what we're doing. What's the actress is the name from the great? El Fanning. A fanning? Yes, Holden. Fuck, yeah, I don't. Wow. Okay, so I'm going to take it back.

Angelina Jolie asked El. fanning if she would like to be the first sex for her son. Son is not identified. She has several sons. Weird. Totally get it though. Honestly, that I could see Angelina Jolie.

Yeah, first of all, Angelina Jolie, the ultimate cool mom, right? Yeah. Yeah, I guess. I mean, you would hope after. Well, but that's not a good thing. No, that's bad. This is a good thing.

Nobody should do this. It's very bad. She's cool in the abstract. Cool mom and Matt. Massive air quotes. Yeah. It's not good to be the cool mom ever, you know. No, that's not, you shouldn't do that. Okay, blind number three, buckle up. This former high school comic book star has been materializing on Grindr like a seasonal allergy. About once a month, a faceless profile pops up with the exact same age and stats. Get lucky enough and you'll receive a shirtless pick that suspiciously looks like the body of our actor. According to one lucky fella, if he really likes what he sees. Toby McGuire. Nope.

Prepare to Uber yourself to a nearby hotel where he'll personally handle every fantasy on the menu. KJ. Appa. Correct. Wow. Yeah, of course. It's still fantastic. See what of course he's working with. We know what that torso looks like.

And we know that he is working so strictly with these religious production companies. And we know that also he's living his ultimate. fantasy as Mr. Fantasy out there. And I do feel like Mr. Fantasy is definitely queer coded in a way that KJ. Appa is not. More like KJ. Tappa that ass.

And I would, oh, watch all that tapebox. Candy cane penis. He's got a candy cane penis. Santa Claus come visit me with your candy cane penis. Yes, he's going to chew on that corrupt. And I know.

and I want to see it and I bet. You know he is. I want it. If that thing rattled your prostate, like you would be, yeah, it'd be a sprinkler jizz. It would be like,

what is going on? If he can get his thing up by your prostate as a man. What was the name of like the sexy guy, like dragons? What was his name? Thangs. In Riverdale. I was thinking about who you would be banging.

Of course, I started. fantasizing about who he'd be banging in Riverdale. In Riverdale, in the world of Riverdale. I just love the idea that his torso is like identifiable without any other characteristics. I could probably pick it out from a lineup because of the Mr. Fantasy stuff. Right, right, right. It's always like shirtless and Mr. Fantasy stuff.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm gay and I'm hiding that. Thank you. Because I'm married to a woman and I have a kid and I'm hiding that. And you shouldn't because I think that your family would really celebrate you and support you. Honestly, Lexi'd probably be thrilled.

Honestly, Lexi would be thankful. She'd be so thankful that she didn't have to deal with it anymore. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. She'd be like, please take it somewhere. This little worm I've got down here. My God. She never has to fiddle with this worm.

And you have to wash the dishes just to get, like, you're so the opposite of a Miley. You know what I mean? Like, you have to do so many. Yeah, I sing all the songs. Yeah, you sing all the lyrics. Yeah. I sing all the lyrics. And then I, you know, and then I didn't.

Yeah, and flowers. Which I honestly like flowers is not you know You're just picking it out It's fine I think flowers is fine But it's not my favorite by Lisa Yeah what's your favorite My favorite my

Yeah but what about the music? No no no no no no What about the music video That she shot inside of the house That she's like dancing and through She'd be like fuck you Fuck you fuck you fuck you Yeah I like the video

I don't think it is I'm a plastic hearts bitch And so I don't get any due Because I think she turned her back on that album because it wasn't as well received. And instead she makes, in my opinion, the equivalent of that character that Molly Shannon did on SNL, I'm 50. I'm 50.

I'm 50. This is Holden's hot take because the kids don't dance anymore. It's actually that other song she did with Farrell has the most, I'm 50 energy. That's that. It's such an off. That song is like exhausting to listen to. But it's not Pady Perry music, you know what I mean? It's not like that level.

I feel like you're talking about her as if she's a laughing stock and she's not at all. Again, Taylor Swift Stan, so nothing I say matters. Oh, I'm sorry, puke on my shoes. Exactly. Nothing I say matters, right, especially now more than ever. Nothing I say matters. Oh my God. You know, you always have to remember that.

If you're getting, if you're like gripping your wheel too tight at the things I'm saying, just remember I'm like still, you know, maybe I don't know, stand. But yeah, I just learn Wildest Dreams on piano. It's really, I think being a Taylor Swift fan is actually an exercise in like learning to, yeah, like there can be so many things about the celebrity I love and also they can be not perfect, which again see a forementioned conversation.

No matter what I say about music, especially in art in general, it's like, yeah, but asterisk. I see, yeah, Taylor Swift fan, so nobody takes you seriously. I thought you think the butt was also an asterisk. I was like, yeah, that's an asshole. Yeah, you're talking about the assort. It means asshole. It means an asshole.

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful Cole. For Mr. Holland's opus. Oh, you don't have to say that. They know. And if they don't know. Yeah, obviously, MJ, you know that that's from Mr. Holland's opus.

It's been a little while since I've seen Mr. Holland's opus. God, so sad for you. I saw it like three times in the movie theater. But again, it was just that time in my life. Two weeks ago. Yeah, he was renting out the movie theater. He was like, again, again.

I just had so little going on in my life. I was like, I guess can you just drop me off to watch that movie I don't even like that much? You don't even like it. Yeah, that's how I saw it pay it forward to the theater twice. I didn't have anything else to do. Sometimes you just see the movies. I just need some place to go that's not my house. Yes.

That was my parents, right, you know. Yes, I will be seeing more things now because I am no longer blind. And I really want to see, you can see everything. And I have no child care right. now and I don't know how I'm going to see a three-hour movie without any child care I don't know how you're going to do it. I don't know how you're going to do it. I will throw it out there. I'm probably going to be talking about it during our second helpings episode. I'm definitely going to be talking about whale fall and I'm definitely going to be talking about you can see

everything. I will hopefully try to not spoil things for you can see everything, but it really was one of the greatest documentaries I've ever seen and I am so far. fascinated by it and I have so much to say and I feel like every 10 minutes I think of a different moment and I was like oh my god and then there was that remember when they said that and it just keeps coming back and so I'm so desperate for everyone in my life to see this movie I want to talk about it so badly so I'm going to be talking about it on second helpings so come on and hang out over there and also I will be throwing out there you know we do we have a tailor stand here also the tailor of Romanticie.

Sarah J. Mass is dropping her next book next week. So for us in the Romanticy world, it really is. It is how many conversations I have holding with people that I'm like, yes, but she got so many people into the Romanticy world. All right. At least she does work very hard. She is very much the Taylor Swift of Romanticy. But, you know, we're excited about the next book and that's coming out next week.

So you're going to just hear more and more about that. but also things are churned over at the page 7 Patreon. Come check it out. Patreon.com slash page 7 podcast. We just started glee. We just started glee. And spoiler alert. So funny, MJ and I were saying at the top of the episode,

we're not saying we're going to watch every episode cut to 20 minutes later, MJ's sobbing with happiness. I did cry. Just sobbing they love the show so much. I cried more. at the pilot of glee than I cried at the finale of Buffy. And I will be burned to the steak, saying that into a microphone. I would like you all to appreciate my bravery because people are going to burn me at the stake.

Brave. And so we are now that is over on the P-7 Patreon. Come check it out. I might be in hell, but at least I'm in hell with these beautiful angels. Holden, where can we find you? Good night. Yep, right there. Check me out on a, uh,

nerd of mouth on YouTube. We have a lot of fun over there. It's so fun. And then Twitch. dot TV forward slash a little later so. Twitch. Dot TV 4.

Dude. I've been playing that new Hellraiser game. Yeah. I got it last night. It is, I mean, first of all, I feel like I'm going to get kicked off Twitch. There's so, there were so many dicks and like just,

but it's gnarly, dude. Yeah. Just disembodied everything. And there's just. We got to get out of here, Holden. So anyway, I'm playing that new Hellraiser game. Twitch.combe forward slash Holdenatorsho. I think that's about it.

Check out LPNTV. Check out LPNRP on LPN TV. Tears of a clown is coming. That's it. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm and come give us a follow at page 7 LPN on Insta as well and also YouTube.com slash at page 7 pod.

MJ where can we get you? You can follow me, MJKLKat on Instagram. can email us. We love hearing from you. And Holden, we love when you come, C-O-M-E on the show. Thank you. And hopefully you'll keep your C-U-M for after the show. Everybody, we'll see you guys tomorrow. Bye. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.