Page 7 - Snuff Queen

Episode Date: August 14, 2025

This week on Page 7 MJ and Jackie start things off by wonderin' if Jimmy Buffett was singin' 'bout a snuff film star, with a song NOT dedicated to the ill Ed Larson, and MJ wishes that Raffi has had a lot of romantic pleasure in his life. Then it's time to flip over to Benson Boone asking people to stop being mean to him for his birthday which predicably backfired, TSwift announcing her new album "The Life of A Showgirl" on the Kelce bro's podcast "New Heights", and Jackie snitches on MJ to Holden about their lack of TSwift worship. The Jonas Brothers are back on tour and ask for ants on a log in their rider because they're stuck as children, and speaking of the Jonas family, Sophie Turner went to see Oasis and everyone's askin' her where ya kids at!?, because no one has ever heard of a sitter. "K-pop Demon Hunters" has totally dominated the summer, Chappell Roan dropped a new track, and Mariah Carey apparently had no idea that Katy Perry went to space! The Goop book continues to ruin Jackie and MJ's lives, and Heather Gay from "Real Housewives of Salt Lake City" said Kelly Clarkson's album with "SINCE U BEEN GONE" on it helped HER get through her divorce. A list that's giving "The Big Book of British Smiles", then it's onto the Blindzz, next we got a meatpowder Jackie's Snackies from 1:10:21.545 (with an MJ's Minute Munchies at 1:18:00.577) til 1:22:07.800, and even more on this week's episode! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

birthday week and you know an old Ed Larson was supposed to be here with us today but he's got a bit of a summer cold so the summer cold's been leaving him out in the cold but this one goes out to you Edward Larson oh god no I guess it doesn't Ew I just grossed myself out

this doesn't go out to Ed Larson sing it doesn't go out to Ed Larson Why don't we get drunk and screw I just bought a water bed it's filled up for me and you. They say you're a snuff queen, honey, but I don't think that's true. So why don't we get drunk and screw?

Snuff queen? Snuff queen. You know, some people say that she's a snuff queen, but not everybody knows that she's a snuff queen, and that's why Jimmy Buffett comes in to let us know. I've got my Jimmy Buffett shirt on today. You know, I was really feeling Buffett. But just because Ed can't be here doesn't mean that we can't be living a Buffett life. Well, I, there is a, there is a website called Buffettnews.com.

Oh. It appears to be like a message board. There's a forum. And somebody has a get drunk and screw question. Oh, yeah? Is it about the snuff queen? This has been racking my brain when I'm in the shower and humming the tune. The lyrics go, they say you are a snuff queen.

Maybe it's me, but I have no idea what a snuff queen is. The word snuff, to me, means a murder that takes place on camera in a porno. But that wouldn't make any sense because how could the girl in the lyrics be that type of snuff and still be alive? I thought it was just a bunch of drugs. I thought you just referred to that as like, oh, apparently it's an old term for a prostitute. It's an old term for a, yeah, a porno queen. But a snuff film does, this, you know, original poster is correct in there.

But this is from, let's see, 2003. June 4th, 2003. Hell yeah. Get me into the bump in 2003. Hell yeah. I hope they have found what they're looking for. The most recent quote

since before that was September 24th, 2001. So this person is still posting about snuff queens just two weeks after 9-11. Thinking about... What else would you be thinking about? Why don't we be thinking about?

Why don't we get drunk and screw? Honestly, it's an escape, isn't it? I understand. Two weeks after 9-11. I'm going to Buffett News.com. Yes. I'm going to ask my textual

lyrical analysis question about snuff queen from Why don't we get drunk and screw? Why don't we get drunk and screw? Why don't we get drunk and screw Ed Larson? So now you don't know. Who's not here? So we can't.

That's why. Why don't we? We can't. Because we don't have his consent. Yeah, we can't ask him. And I'm going to throw it out there, MJ. You know, I didn't know I was going to start page seven with confessions.

But, you know, I've never thought of Ed, Larson in that light. And I don't know if 20 years deep into the relationship, we're going to start that now. I think he's far too much of a brother figure to you and to almost all the people in his life. I mean, blessedly, not his wife, his wife, you know, he has a lovely wife. But I think to many other people, Ed is the best big brother you've never had. He's absolutely. And I have a great big brother. And you have a great big brother. And Eddie is a big brother to me too. Eddie talks to my mother more than my brother does. Like, I mean, that's it.

They text and call each other all the time. That's the thing. That's the, if you wanted to know one fact about Edward Larson, is that he talks to Linda more than her biological son. And he also does talk to her life. It's not like, he's a great son. Like, he really does. It's just that Ed and she, I think they just talk about dogs.

Like, I think they do just talk to each other about dogs, which good for them. I think it's a beautiful relationship. And I love it. And we will miss him today, but that means it's just us chickens today. Jackie and MJ and Buffettnews.com. I can't believe how inactive this message board is. Should we light it up?

Should we get back in there? Yeah, I want to be talking more Jimmy Buffett because, I mean, as far as we know now, at least we haven't heard badman news about Jimmy Buffett. Like nothing has come out post-mortem. Thank God. If we were going to find something out, I think we would have found out already. I think there are certain would have found out already where we can assume that if there was skeletons in the closet, they would have come out by now.

There are people that I put on the list are Fred Rogers. There's never been a nary a bad word about him. Raffy, the children's singer. You just want to slang on Raffy, though. Don't you want to be jumping on it? That fucking baby beluga. He is an elder now. but I look up to him, Jackie, if that's what you mean.

Oh, yeah, yeah, that's, yeah, I don't think I can unpack. I don't think I can admit to having any sexual feelings for Rafi because I've just, you know, just watched his VHS tapes from when I was so young. I don't think I can adapt to anything else. I mean, Rafi is still kicking 77. He's still kicking. All right. Still kicking.

He's posting. He's great. He's, he's commenting, Miss Rachel's post. Miss Rachel's commenting on his post. Do we have this same exact conversation every time Rafi gets brought up? Probably. I think maybe you want to sling on Rafi. I don't.

I really don't want to sling on Rafi. I just feel like I don't know. I don't know if you as a parent have a connection to Rafi that like I just don't have. Like I imagine some people do feel that way about Miss Rachel that they probably want to slang on Miss Rachel. Not only for her great politics, but also because she's, you know, she's a bit of a snatch cat. She is a snatch cat. Yeah. No. And Raffy, I hope he has gotten an abundance of, you know, romantic love in his life and pleasure. But I don't, it feels wrong. I can't. I can't. He's too, you know, it's like, I know Mr. Rogers was married, but I've just, they're, they are categorically non-sexual beings. I'm sorry. Do you ever see them indirect? Like, I feel like any docu-series I've watched about Fred Rogers and how much like they really did like he and his wife really loved each other. But I wasn't getting a lot of like.

Oh, I kick my hands off them. You know, like I didn't feel the electricity through their groins the way I expected. No, I think that honestly, it's like there is, you'd think that there would be, and I hope that there are some dads out there who are like, yeah, we can watch Miss Rachel. I got a little crush on Miss Rachel. I think that would be fun for you. Sound off, please, let us know. I think I'm like thinking through my brain right now and I'm like, are there like parental crushes I have on like children's entertainment

figures and the answer is no. But, you know, I think that it's, I think this is why I'm enjoying watching cheers so much because I, I find myself crushing on Ted Danson so much that it's like, it's been a while since I felt that. Gosher Rooney. Brother? You know, it really, it is, but I feel like the, the most exciting it gets as a parent is like a playground dad crush, like a distant, like, oh, that playground dad is nice. But again, it's all very, there's not a lot of thirst going on in that. at in this stage of life, you know.

But I feel like sometimes you'd need that to just get you to motivate to do something. Like, I mean, it's like, how did I get to all of my classes, my senior year of high school? I saw my crush between first and second period. And that's how I got myself to go to school because I knew that I would see him between first and second period. Oh, yes. I'm very pro crush. I think we have talked about this on page seven.

But I think that when you're married, it's good to have little fun crushes. here and there that are totally harmless and just like, oh, I'll get myself to school because I will see my crush in passing between first and second period. I totally, same thing when I went back to my college reunion. I was like, I used to wait by the library to see this crush. I used to wait by the English building to see this crush. It's like all the geographical crush data was still in my brain, you know. And so yeah, it's like, yeah, you need to have a like, oh, oh, I get to take my kids to the, you know, to the swim class. You know, if you have maybe one of the SWIF teachers.

You know, so you got to find your little fun, harmless crushes here and there. Oh, my God. And all their, like, extracurricular teachers. Oh, how many of them do you want to kids? Because I feel like if I watched someone teaching my kids, I don't know, gymnastics, I'd be like, oh, my God, yeah, do that flip. Yeah. And not in the way that I feel in ever looking at Benson Boone.

And I'm not bringing up Benson Boone right now. I don't want to talk about Benson Boone right now. I don't. the article about how his work is soulless and meaningless. Solace and meaningless. And on his birthday, he literally wrote on TikTok, Hey, guys, could you like take a break from being mean to me for my birthday? It is, this article is so funny.

It's like, it's like his, his album cover is harkening to the imagery of Bruce Springsteen. But Bruce Springsteen stood for something and Benson Boone stands for nothing. Nothing. Yeah. That is true. It was so fucking. It's just so sad that like on his birthday, he just wanted people to be nice and everyone was like, fuck you. It just like brings out the old bully in me so hard of like, oh, you want to be nice to you today?

I know, I know. And we are calling for people to not to not do this. To not do it. I'm not tippy typing. Yeah, no, I'm not commenting on Bedson Boone. No, I'm not. But, you know, I, uh, I, uh, I, uh, I, people, the like, patiently explaining why you sing an American flag when you're Bruce Springsteen as a symbol for like your disappointment with the Vietnam War.

And then Benson Moon just, we don't know why there's an American flag on his album. Does it, what does he stand for? What was he made for? He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Nobody knows. Maybe he doesn't dress like Freddie Mercury. Is he gay? No, not that we know of. Why is he trying to just do what Freddie Mercury did even though you ain't and you ain't never going to be. be. But that is beside the point because, man, there's been a lot of shame going on out there. And I am saying, you know, this is my birthday week. And so on my birthday week, maybe we should all be a

little bit nicer to each other. Maybe I'm pulling a Benson Boone over here and I just flip out the room. If I, God, if I knew how to flip out of a room, you think I wouldn't be doing that all the time? That's the thing. Everyone's making fun of his flips. I think the flips are the best thing about I think they're fantastic. Yes. Man, that article even ripped apart, like, him wearing, like, jumpsuits versus Harry Stiles wearing jumpsuits and how he's so soulless that he doesn't even wear a jumpsuit. Yes.

Harry Stiles is at least trying to do some vaguely gender not conforming shit. Benson Boots is not doing anything. Fuck, yo! It is, I, you know, and maybe we can say these things because Holden's not here and we know for a fact that Holden McNeely is not here because we just went 11 minutes without bringing up that Taylor Swift has alerted the Swifties. And it was done via podcast. Yes, Taylor Swift went on her boyfriend.

I don't know, man, this is going to be days later once this episode comes out, but it's crazy because page six today, every single article is about Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift. single one. And it's all about like every little thing that was said on the Travis Kelsey podcast when Taylor Swift joined him to show off her new album cover and title. What is it? Tales of a stripper. Oh, I'm a stripper. Taylor Swift fans are, they're like, it's like Lord of rings to them. They're like, you know, they're like this color. Oh, I'm sorry, look up Taylor Swift on Google right now and there's a bunch of confetti. And then it's like, oh, it's a whole thing.

And it's like, yeah, I mean, it's, oh, there's a bunch of confetti, the orange. I know orange is meaningful. The numbers. It's, yeah, I mean, it's like the Zodiac killer. People are like on this, it's the 12th of, you know, like people have all these formulas. I follow, you know. The life of a show girl is what it's called. Good for her.

Not tales of a stripper, which is what I said earlier. It is the life of. of a show girl is the name of the help. You know, I'm happy for, it's also, honestly, yeah, I get, you need, you need some Taylor Swift fanatics in your life to break it down. I should honestly get my sister-in-law. I'm on vacation with her to break you down for me. Get that beautiful gala in here.

Get that gala in here. Are they still a gala, right? Oh, yes. Definitely still a gala. But, but, you know, there's so, it's like, there's so many news stories about her appearance on, on Kelsey's podcast. And the album is the news, like, yeah, she announces. the album. And yeah, I'm excited. I'll listen to it. But it's like, there's, sorry, the Empire State

building was lit up with orange last night. I know. That is ridiculous. What? These, it's like the Illuminati. The Swifties have their fingers and everything. They're every. And again, there's all sorts of math formulas for about when she's going to do things. And it's, I mean, you know, fans correct me if I'm wrong, but it just, that the lore, people, it's, it's, The people go so deep. And every new story, people have gone mad. I'm waiting through the stories to find the name of the freaking album because it's like,

he complimented the color of her eyes. Oh my God. It's a whole separate story. It's a whole separate story. And, you know, Travis Kelsey said this. And this is how we fell in love. And this is the entire, she really, you know, she still got it. I thought that in the post era's world, we were kind of out of the Taylor.

domination of it all. But yeah, page six, every single story. Well, because every single story, there were multiple publications, and I believe that page six is one of them that hired full-time Taylor Swift researchers for their publications so that they can be, because like you said, MJ, it is the Swifties that understand the Taylor math that you need to know to really, because like that's the thing. I feel like we had Holden on right now. It's like, well, you, except Holden doesn't even know. He doesn't even know. He's not, he's not in brass tacks. You need like a 40 year old. Jade, we need you. Yeah, no, we need Jade. But also like my, my person, I'm, she's just a random influencer I follow, but she's like, yeah, it's like, well, at this, at this one era's tour,

at this date, she teased this. And when she does this and the surprise song was this, then usually that means the next surprise song for that city is going to be this. And when she talks about this album and this reference like there's these people have like a murder board you know up doing all of these connections and I admire it I love it's you know we all need meaning in our life and people who could who can generate a full day's worth of of extreme excitement about this album announcement you know people are just it's all about the number 12 it's all about the number 12 so apparently so I'm looking at because orange this happened I believe that this dropped this morning this article came out like an hour ago on L, and it is one of those levels of Swifties that are writing

out all the Easter eggs. And it's like, I guess it says A12, which fans now realize is a reference to August 12th, the day she announced a new album. Mind you, she broke the news. I'm sorry, it wasn't this morning. It was at 12, 12 a.m. Eastern Standard Time. Because this is her 12th album. Uh-huh. See, I'm telling you, it's like... Okay, 217. I also saw weapons last night. I feel like you're just, now you're just throwing out numbers. That's, that's an Easter egg for those Cragerheads out there, for all you weapons ease.

Sorry, that's a new horror movie that for you, MJ, it means nothing, but for some it means something. And also, in case you were wondering, the album announcement came 12 weeks after Swift revealed that she bought the masters to all of her albums. It's like when you talk to a conspiracy theorist

and they're like, four plus six is ten. Ten is the amount then. Right. You know, and you're like, what are you talking about? I don't know. I guess, but I do like, this doesn't make me hate Swifties. It doesn't make me hate Taylor Swift. I feel like some people see this. I'm happy for them. I'm happy for their happiness. You guys, I love it. Look into your Easter eggs. You fucking get into it. I'm happy. People've been in a frenzy for 48 hours. I honestly, I am, I wish that something made me this excited. I think that people, I mean, people hate Taylor's for plenty of good reasons as well. But I think. I do think that sometimes I'm just like, let people have their things. Their happiness is it, but that brings them incredible joy. All of this sounds so crazy. During the era, Swift notably burned down the lover house, which had a room for each of her eras.

Debuted during the lover music video, the house has stood as a representation of Swift's career. Well, now the house is out of rooms. So during her performance of bad blood on the tour, Swift burnt it to the ground. and now in this new era, the emoji Swift is using, heart on fire! Heart on fire! I just, I'm happy for their happiness. Yeah, yeah.

And I, you know, I do think the most annoying thing about her at this point is the haters. The haters and also Travis Kelsey. That, I don't want to have to. We go an anti-Trav. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to make, I'm not trying to break news right now. I'm not trying to be controversial. I just feel like I really enjoyed coverage of eras because I was like, oh, a singer is

singing every night and here's a new video for singing and people love her and that's fine. And then it turned into this like, what is this football player's brother say about, you know, having kids? And I'm like, I don't want that. I don't, you know, now it's like, now I have to, if I care about her, I have to worship at the ground of the Kelsey's and the football team. And I don't want that, you know, but I'm, I am happy for her. happiness. I'm happy for how they love each other or whatever. I hope that it doesn't.

Jackie just texted me and Holden in our group chat saying I'm actively hating on Travis. She's trying to start shit. I'm trying to have a hold and calling me. I'm trying to start shit. Am I wrong? Don't you think that's, no, you're right. No, I understand. Don't you think it's been more annoying since she's been with Travis? Of course. Now I have to hear about what Jason Kelsey thinks all the time. Of course. And especially. it's like, I think that it's, and as podcasters, as professional annoying people, it is annoying to look at, but also at the same time, you know, I just, can you imagine her pitching

to her people? Like, and I'm going to announce it on Travis's podcast. Like, I feel like, or someone came up with that idea and everyone was like, let me suck it. Let me suck that thing. It was such a good idea. Oh, my God. Like, who's, yeah, whose idea was. was it that now they're like, oh, ah, you know. Right. It's already, it's a little annoyed. I feel like I try so hard to not be cynical. And like when everyone was saying that Pamela Anderson.

I mean. You're good. You're a better person I am. When everyone was saying that Pamela Anderson and Liam and Liamneeson were doing it for the press, I was like, am I naive or do I just believe in love? You know? Like, and so I was like, what do you mean this for press? What press?

Like, you know, obviously, like, yes, of course people do things for press or whatever. I still believe in their love. But then in this case, it does make me a bit of a truther about Jason Kelsey and Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift. And they're just like, are they just trying to take over the world now? Because for freaking two years since era's ended, now I have to, every front page piece of page six news is about the Kelsey Brothers podcast. So that I do feel like, but I, I don't know, they see, I saw the clip of him complimenting

her eyes or her dress or she comp, whatever it was. And it's nice. It's nice. It's nice. And love is nice. It seems like they actually maybe do love each other, and that's nice. And I do wish happiness for other people. You know, not every person.

She's, you know, she's evil to some, not evil to me. So I wish her the best. Whoa. Holden's responding. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We're starting it up. We are starting it up.

This is, you know, once we start going, y'all, there's no hold in here. to spurn on the Taylor Swift, like, obsession. But you know that Holden lives in our farts. Yeah. Yeah, I said it he lives in our farts. And I don't even like saying the word farts. And I did it just to disparage him behind his back. Hold on.

You know, we do wish he was here today. He has now texted. I pre-ordered the, it's all capitals. I pre-ordered the, he texts like how Trump tweets. I pre-ordered the album already. and now I need you to do the same, MJ, or we are not friend friends. Wow, not friend friends. I've already been thinking about giving away the book, the Target book,

the heirs. I'm just taking up space in my house. It is just been sitting in literally the same. I'm looking at it. Holden gave it to me live on Jackin, and I put it next to the chair, and it has been sitting there ever since. And it is, you know, it's not even taking up space. I forgot about its existence until you just brought it up.

You forgot that it existed? I forgot that. Thank you, MJ. But you know what I didn't forget that existed? Ants on a log. Were you with me with my brutal ups? I got the it. Not that I even had the not ick for the Jonas Brothers.

But this annoyed me to such a level that I feel like maybe I do understand the Taylor, the people that hate Taylor Swift. Yeah, sometimes you just have a visceral reaction to someone and it's hate. It is that the Jonas Brothers, on the. their rider, apparently, specifically ask for ants on a log. And for those of you that are unfamiliar, which I think we all are familiar, it is celery that is like, you know, filled in with peanut butter, usually with raisins on top. So it looks like ants in a log. Fuck the raisins. By the way, I've never done the raisins. I understand. Which is what Kevin Jonas also does.

Just like Kevin Jonas. I have a lot in common. So you have to make some antless logs. All I can think about is the person that receives the writer and just says like, oh, great, I got to go make ants on a log that they're probably not going to fucking eat. I know. I'm so grateful that we got to go on tour for so many reasons, you know, the fun, the bonding, the meeting, the community, all of that. But also, just the little tiny bit of insight, mind you, we were not doing large reviews. No, no, no, no. But, and it was very DIY. We did everything ourselves. We didn't have a tour manager, right? But like, you know, we didn't do everything ourselves, but we did a lot. And then also the venues, especially smaller, but we did a lot of cool, like the Minneapolis

venue that we did was like this really cool, like, you know, kind of community space. But you see, depending on what venue you're at, you see what happens with your writer. And sometimes you go to a place where they have a kitchen. And so they're like, okay, you guys want this, whatever. We put in the order. We make food from the kitchen. And then other times, you know, we saw, it's like, oh, we asked, and we tried to be as easy as possible. Easy as possible. But knowing sometimes that we would be showing up right to a venue and wouldn't have time to eat, we were like, meat and cheese plate, veggie plate.

So we get our basic food groups covered. And so we're hoping a little bit of fiber in there. Man, that's the cellar, man, the cellar is a good idea. The veggie plate. The veggie plate saved us and saved our hemorrhoids. I will say, I feel like getting that broccoli in there really helped on the door. Totally. But there was venues where it was like we would,

meet the person and we would say hi and we'd introduce ourselves and she'd say, all right, I'm about to run out to Whole Foods and grab you guys a veggie plate. I'll be back in 15 minutes at which point, because it's me and Jackie, we would start profusely apologizing. And be like, no, no, no, no, no, we're fine. If you don't get a yet, we're all good. We're fine. We don't eat it. But like, you know, people, there's human beings putting the work into this. Yes. And I think that that is easy to forget, especially because most of the news you hear about writers is like, who was that? What was the band that makes them take all the colors The brown M&Ms to make sure that they're looking at it.

I forget. I don't remember. Or like they need this many bottles of tequila or whatever, which again, you know, Van Halen. Van Halen, thank you. And then usually the venue has the alcohol, so it's not a whatever. Point being, if you put ants on a log in your writer, as Jackie pointed out angrily when including this article, some poor bastard has to make you ants on a log as if they

are babysitting a group of five-year-olds. I feel like specific, like ask for celery. Ask for almond butter because they prefer almond butter. Ask for raisins. Make your own goddamn on a fucking law. Yeah, I mean, it's like asking for like a, you know, I want a little money that she made out of marshmallows and chocolate chips. Like, you know, don't make me do a craft for you. Like I'm working at a music venue right now.

I don't know. Especially when I feel like it is the kind of thing of like when we would have the veggie plate and the meat plate. We would feel so guilty that MJ and I would bring Ziploc bags so that we could shove because we wanted to show our appreciation of them getting the food. So we would take the food. But then MJ and I. Too full of shame to go on tour. We're like, I'm sorry that you bought this for us.

And I'm sorry we didn't finish it. We're going to bring it home. Such people pleasers. Or we would like, yeah, if we couldn't take it with us, we'd like move it around and make sure it looked like we ate enough. And we'd like try and forceholding and Jake to eat more. so that like it looked like we ate more. But because we're insane people.

Yeah. I couldn't, even if I was a Jonas brother, I don't think I'd be asking for ants on a log, is what I'm saying. Yeah. They all think it's so fun. Oh, we ask for aunts on a log. People don't even know what it is. And it's like, yeah, you're just making,

that sucks. Yeah, you're just making an unpleasant task for people. Nick says that his rider has little mini bottles of A1 sauce. Okay. So what you're telling me is all I can think of is that are you use it? What do you use in A1 sauce for? Okay. Do you need it at every venue?

If this is something you so sparingly need every once in a while, I'm going to throw it out there. I'd probably keep a bottle of A1 on me. Yeah. But maybe this is coming from someone that is never, it's like the Jonas brothers have been famous since they were very young. So maybe this is just, that's just what they're used to. Yeah, right. People doing that stuff for them. Like we could never.

That, you know, it's like how we always talk about how people freeze at the age that they got famous. Maybe they are eating children's snacks because they are mentally, mentally children. I mean, I don't, yeah, I was really, especially because between this story about the God Jonas Brothers demanding pre-made aunts on a log for them and then the other Sophie Turner. And it's technically, so, so there's this story about Sophie Turner, went to Oasis. Mom guilt. Mom. Like, there's so much shaming. happening. She went, oh my God. She went to Oasis, and I'm happy for her because unlike Holden, I don't

have a grudge against Oasis, aside from the fact that everyone says that they're horrible people. But, you know, people love Oasis. I have a good friend who traveled to Europe to see Oasis. Oh, good for them. Yes, people who have been wanting to see them forever, and they get to see them. And so I'm happy for them. So Sophie Turner wanted to see Oasis, and she got to see Oasis. But what did everyone say? Everyone's commenting on her post, her Instagram post, about Oasis. Where are the kids? Where are your kids? I think you forgot you have kids.

Not a lot of pictures with the kids. Excuse me. She is an adult. Not every adult who has kids is with their kids. 24. And she responded, they're with their dad. But you know what? I don't co-parent.

I'm partnered. And sometimes I post pictures of myself without kids. They can't be there every single second of the day. Sometimes other people watch them. It's just so crazy to receive that on like, and I look through some of her other stuff. And it's like every, she does. gets this all, on almost everything she posts. Oh, but where are your children, you divorced woman.

Yeah. And then it's crazy because then the articles are like, there is not one of those on Joe Jonas's anything. And it's like, it's not Joe Jonas's fault that like society is structured for people to like wonder why a mom doesn't have her children with her and not wonder why a dad doesn't have his children with him. But like literally the Jonas brothers are talking about being on tour, you know. And is anybody saying, where are your kids? Where do you go on tour? What about your kids?

No one's given them that shit. And it is such a crazy double standard that in 2025, why is that? What are you talking about? Yeah. Why does Sophie Turner even get pushed to the point of feeling like she has to say that? I know. Like, have you heard of custody? Have you heard of?

Like, even then. Have you heard of child care? Like a bitch is allowed to go out to a fucking concert. Yeah. No, it's wild. But also, what does sound wild and what I would read a memoir about is that they are co-parenting, but like bi-continentally, you know, like she lives in the United States and he lives in the UK. And that would be a...

I mean, that's got to be PJ life, though, right? Like, that's got to be like taking PJs back and forth. I would assume if you're by-country... custody, I would assume you're getting ferreted back and forth. Yeah. Yeah. I think that that's, I mean, I guess, but still, like, that sounds, and I'm not even saying this with judgment.

Like, obviously, it is better to be co-parenting and not married to someone you are not happy. Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. Like, that's what you got to do, that's what you got to do. But I'm just, I just, my parent brain went down this, like, spiral of like, God, how hard would that be? Like all the co-parents I know live in the same neighborhood, you know, and like walk the kid back and forth.

And I feel like it would be quite hard to do it bi-coastally. Ooh, Lord. Yeah. Like, I, you know, I know that we were just talking about go check out celebrities over on our page 7 Patreon. We were just talking about Gwyneth Paltrow. And Chris Martin. Oh, yeah, I'm having an affair. Oh, you're very sure.

Oh, gosh. Man, we didn't even say the phrase conscious uncoupling, which is crazy to think that. I know. We just recorded a 45-minute episode without saying the phrase conscious uncoupling. Ooh, she's annoying. If you want to hear us, man. This 448 pages, the Gwyneth book. It is.

And yes, I am making my family listen to it while we drive around on our vacation. I love that, like, trying, you trying to explain why Gwyneth Paltrow is not a good person to your children. Why do you hate her so much? It's so funny to me. She's judgmental about other people and we don't comment on other people's bodies. And we don't comment on what other people eat. And that's why I don't like her.

No. Yeah. And then I at first I started, listen. I say this more on celebrities, but I was like, I have to listen to this book. You guys, listen to your own books. I don't listen to this book. And then I was like, I think I have to shield my children from this book because the way she talks about eating is so fucked up that I don't want to have my children hear that. So I was like, actually, never mind.

We're turning the book. off. Yeah. Let's put up back on K-pop Demon Hunters. Oh my God. Apparently, every person I know that is around children this summer is just like, I mean, K-pop Demon Hunters, right? Like, Camp-op Demon Hunters. My friend, Julia, that was on the episode a couple of weeks ago, Julia's with her whole family and all of her nieces. And she's like, we've been acting out scenes from K-pop Demon Hunter pretty regularly on this vacation. Oh, yeah. My kids are like orchestrating, like, we have to watch it with Hannah. My sister. We have to watch it. It's going to watch it with Grandpa. We have to watch it with like they. I want to see it because I everyone. It's great. I've watched a bunch of the clips over on Jack and Hold and I on Fridays. You know, we have our show. And a lot of people have sent in and I mean, and also people from chat that I really respect the opinions of when it comes to media, book they've been looking at you. I know that K-pop demons is supposed to be really great. It's great. And thank you to everybody who recommended it. For a long time, people were recommending it to me and I could not get my kids to watch it because.

I think it just didn't sound appealing to them. They're not real, you know, if it doesn't have the word princess or unicorn in it, they're like not interested. I get you, bitch. I understand. But then we got them to watch it. And it's, you know, it's like, it's great. It's just listen to the album, even if you don't, like, the movie I don't really engage

with, but we have been listening to the album nonstop. And it's great. And it's awesome. And I love that, like, I keep seeing people be like, my teenage boys love it and my, like, nine-year-old girl loves it. Like everybody loves the album. And the family and the parents love it. Everybody's really been getting into it. It's just what a fun. I feel like that is so far. I've been seeing a lot of things like on media, which man, if you try to not be cynical, MJ, the media certainly is not trying to follow in your footsteps. It has been a lot of talk about

this summer being like the summer of apathetic nothingness, the summer of just like, of just like, dead-eyed Americans trying to get through their every second of every day. Like the fact that last year we had like Brat summer and there was hope and there was and this summer. I feel like Chapel really. I mean, she was obviously popular before last summer. And Taylor. And it was just, it was a more, it last year just simply had a lot more hope.

And there's just been a lot of talk of like this not being a summer of smiling at all. But I was like, but there's been at least. K-pop Demon Hunter. I feel like you do have that at least. Yes. Yeah, no, it's true. I was like, yeah, because last summer, this trip I'm on, we did it last summer. And last, that was when Gideon discovered Chapel Road.

And I was like, I'm happy for you. I got here a little bit before you. But I'm also, I got here after Jackie and Holden did. And I was like, yeah, welcome. Of course we can spend the entire vacation listening to Chapel Rhone. And then now this entire vacation is K. Pop Demon Hunter soundtrack, which is great. Although Chapel did drop the subway, which is a good song, and it is crazy because she's like, people keep asking me for a new album, but the last one took me five years to write. So the next one's going to take me five years to write.

Gavah. Give-a. Take that time, bitch. Take that time. And I love that she's just like, you can keep asking me, but it's going to be a while. And, man, there's lots of bitches that are not, you want to ask them a lot of questions. Maybe they're not thinking outside of their brain. Maybe they don't see quite past. I don't know. maybe the lip of whatever large hat they're wearing. Yeah, I'm talking about Mariah Carey. Oh my God. Thank you to the hundreds of people who sent us this meme, this clip. Where did she go? Of Mariah Carey being asked about Katie Perry going to space.

Did she go to space? Do the whole thing. Wait, let me bring up the meme. No idea. So that we can do the whole. Where did she go? This is true. I have not made this up.

Well, he basically asks Mariah Carey about, you know, what she thinks about Katie Perry going to space. And Mariah Carey truly oblivious, had no idea. And that's the best. Where did she go? I love the question. Where did she? She went to space? Oh, my God.

And then he asks her, do you, are you interested in going to space? And then truly the best part is her response, which is... Into orbit and back? Wow. No, you know? No, it's the first one. I'm looking, there's a million memes made of this moment, by the way. So, yeah.

So she's trying to clarify, like, she actually went into space, into orbit and back. But then when he asks, should you go to space, she responds with, I think I've done enough. I think I've done enough. That is my perfect response. I love, can we all take a little bit more out of Mariah Carey's book and just not give a fuck about anybody else's existence? This is not to bring up celebrities again, but we were talking about like, why do we love a Mariah, but we hate a goop and just talking about, you know, Mariah is who is she hurting? She's not even judging. she's not even like her judgments are like are so out of left field and so like she's so wrapped up

in her own brain that I'm like she's harmless that's the thing this is it is this is like the anti-goop being like don't you think do you want to go to space I think I've done enough is just such a perfect it's like it's a great way to drag somebody because it is kind of a read on Katie Perry like I don't need to I don't need to do that so but it's not it's not. Not what Goop does, which is if you do a textual analysis of basically any famous group quote, you will find her just being a huge bitch about an entire group of people. Oh. People who eat processed foods.

A lot of it are fat people. Oh, she despises fat people. People who drink alcohol. Yeah, hates them. Hates them. She just, she just, she hates people that eat. Yes, yes, yes. She hates, yeah, people that eat.

And, yeah, and Brian Curry doesn't live that life. She doesn't even know Katie Perry went to space. She's too busy thinking about herself. Upon receiving the news, Katie Perry went to space. Yeah, she does ask a clarifying question into orbit and everything, which is a great question. I love also, it's just crazy because, like, we couldn't not talk about that for weeks. We talked about Katie Perry in space for weeks. Like, it wasn't just like, oh, it happened and you missed it.

Where does Mariah Carey exist? She had no idea. And honestly, can we all go there? That's the thing. And she's leaning back. She always looks like she's about to fall asleep. You know, she's wearing some sunglasses inside. She's wearing a big hat and big sunglasses inside during an interview.

She's here to be interviewed. She can barely muster the strength to answer the questions. But when she does, her answers are perfect. I think I've done enough. I want it as a tattoo, you know. I also do. Oh, my God. Is that our next tattoo, MJ?

I think I've done a lot. We do need a Mariah Carey tattoo. And it's great. great because both models, I'm sorry to go so sincere about this, but it models, you know, self-love, but also I really feel like more celebrities should have this attitude. I think I've done enough. I've done enough. You know, I don't need to do more. What if I don't do another brand deal? What if I don't do a freakish, you know, pet project? I know that this is all because of reading Gwyneth Paltrow's book. By the way, I know this book has sent me into an existential tailspin about capitalization.

capitalism itself. I feel like she's like an architect of the current stage of capitalism we're in in a way that is making me feel just kind of animated with rage in a way that I don't want to feel about Glita Contro. Yeah. Yeah. Whereas Mariah Carey, she's just here to sing one song once a year. You know?

She's done enough. I mean, have you seen like sometimes her people put out the It's Time meme for the holidays? So it's like that's, she's already, people. You know, who needs space when you've given us all I want for Christmas is you? Right. Make that paper, bitch. Oh, my God. Everybody should do less.

Yes, we all should be doing less and encouraging and supporting each other no matter what. Right, right. Oh, my God, goop, we don't have space for your hate, okay? Yeah. Life's too short to be that upset, man. Oh, speaking of. The whole Kelly Clarkson thing, I know. I think that it's just because I have heard, I know that like there was the weird shit with her writers back in the day, but it's like, or no, that was Drew Barrymore.

There's true Barrymore. But Kelly Clarkson, I have only heard. And these are people that I know that it have interacted many times with Kelly Clarkson. Apparently is just the nicest, a very good person. She had, in case you guys do not, if you're not aware, she had a very contentious divorce with the husband, like with her ex-husband, the father of her children. but then at the end of that very public, very contentious divorce, apparently her ex-husband was diagnosed. I believe it was melanoma. Melanoma. Yeah. And he, it, I guess, progressed very quickly. And within a couple of years, he has passed. And Kelly Clarkson had to stop her residency

in Vegas because, and people like, yeah, but you're divorced. And it's like her crying. And there's, I feel like at least, I was worried because I thought it was going to be a lot of people being like, oh, your ex-husband dies and you're upset, because honestly, in 2025, that's kind of how I expected people to react. Yeah, because everybody has to have a fucking opinion about things. And sometimes you just got to be like, oh, I don't need to have an opinion about whether or not Kelly Clarkson should be sad that the father of her two children died. I don't need to weigh in on this. No, this is, this is a, and like watch, and like, it's like, she is openly saying, like, I mean, he's still a person that I loved in my life and is the

father of my children. So, yeah, I'm going to be, you know, it's like I appreciate that it seems that the internet is not going after her as much as I fear. Did she, yeah, I mean, all, everything that I have read about this, I am, yeah, I am very moved by her being like I, she's, you know, and even before he died, she had spoken about their divorce and she was like, yes, it was a really contentious divorce and we had a custody battle and it was really hard, but she was like, I never want to be the reason why my kids don't love their dad. I'm never going to talk negatively about him to them. I'm always going to try to protect that relationship. And I just think that that's very admirable. And, you know, especially because obviously if there's like a reason you need to

protect your kids from their biological parent, then you do that. But like in this case, she was just like, we weren't meant to be married to each other, but my kids needed their dad and I wanted them to have a relationship with him. And so she's mourning. Because she also is estranged from her. Her dad, was a bad dad. She had a bad bad dad. Disappeared when she was young. And so, yeah, she was like, I want my kids to have their dad.

And so now she's mourning that they're up for her kids and for him. Of course. Of course. It is absolutely psychotic that people are like, what are you sad? You're divorced. Everybody needs to fucking get a life, man. And hopefully she has enough of a team that are keeping her away from anything,

anything like that that is going her way. And I do just want to also quickly say I did just see an article that was just posted that Taylor Swift dropped a clue that the life of a showgirl will be a major departure from the last album. Oh, my God. In case you were wondering. So if everybody thought that one was sleepy, this one's going to be fucking, I don't know, knee deepy. Yeah. Oh, what am I going to do? I'm knee deep in showgirl.

Oh, man. Well, oh my God. Taylor put out a curated Spotify list to reveal the producers behind the project. It's just crazy. It's crazy how deep it is. Before we get to the list, I just need to give out my new favorite favorite celebrity fun fact about Kelly Clarkson, which is that it was her album that helped Heather Gay get from Real House of Salt Lake City get through her own divorce.

Thank you. Wow. Thank you for bringing this up. I was wondering when this, when Heather Gay was going to be brought up again because I, you know, we need the receipts. We need the proof. You know, I love you, Heather. And when I say her album, I mean the one with like, you know, since you've been gone on it. I don't mean a more recent album.

I mean that album. And I love. It's a great fucking album, MJ. And it's a great breakup album. It's a great album. And I love that it helped Heather Gay through her divorce. And I'll bet Kelly Clarkson has how much. many thousands of millions of people do you think she's helped through a divorce or a breakup that

needed to happen, you know? So we owe her. We love you, Kelly. We love you. Kelly. Take care of yourself. Take care of the kids. I hope you guys are okay. All right, it's time for the list. Sing me just us. Sing it to me. Oh, who's on the list. You're singing to me. Yeah. Gotta have that list. Celebrities who either refused to fix their teeth or massively regretted doing so, including one who sued Her dentist. Wow, we get a list that's like the Simpsons joke, The Big Book of British Smiles. And I, honestly, you're reading through this, you know,

I never thought of how many celebrities are pushed to get veneers, are pushed for them to fix their teeth. Like, remember with White Lotus, Amy Lou Wood, who openly said, like, I'm not going to change my teeth, even though the world is now analyzing my teeth. but then there's also people that like, I never, I'm going to be real with you, MJ. I don't think I look at anyone's teeth. Only that guy.

I was like, oh, I've never thought of your teeth before. The only person whose teeth I noticed is Mark Wahlberg, not number one, number two, the Mark Wahlberg who hosts your show. On Temptation Island. Mark L. Wahlberg, thank you. I look at his teeth because they are so inhuman and so distracting. I look at veneers. Oh. You know, those are like when they're like lip up.

up over, which some people are looking for chompers, but some people ain't like Iota Berry. I oweetta Barry dentist apparently insisted that she get invisaline. The Bears star firmly refused. She said, I'm not allowed to. I won't allow myself to. I don't want to look like myself. I want to look like my parents. I want to look like my family. I want to look like black people who are from Boston. That's what she said. Fuck yeah, bitch. I have never ever noticed her teeth. Yeah. It's so, I've never been like, oh, you'd be beautiful if you change your teeth. Like, Really? Like, if you would ask me before I saw this on the list, how are at a Badares' teeth, I would be like, I don't know. She's a beautiful woman. I don't know. She's a beautiful person. I imagine she has teeth. I would assume that that's never thought about it. I like her smile. You know, I notice people's smiles, but I've, oh, how. Even this next one, I look at the picture. I look a current picture of her. I'm like, what is wrong with her teeth? Kirsten Dunst once shared that when she was just 19, a Spider-Man producer drove her to the dentist. to get her teeth fixed without giving her any sort of heads up beforehand.

She said, I was like, no, I like my teeth, she recalled, as she remembered refusing to get out of the car. Yeah, I mean, I feel like Kirsten Dundt, again, a lot of these, I mean, I owe to Barry, like I said, I never thought about it. I feel like Kirsten Duntz, you know, has a unique look. And like, why would you change something about yourself? Like, unless it's something necessary, I'm not. I'm not saying that, like, of course, if you've got to get, like, teeth removed and you have to get false teeth.

And also, I'm not even against the idea of veneers. It is just interesting how it is change over time that veneers are now like, it's almost like uncanny valley that I feel like some people, it's like, you look at like Miley Cyrus where like her veneers, I feel like not that I want to judge it, but it's like it looks like they're really big. Like it's like noticeably bigger, you know? Yeah. Yeah. But that is a status symbol for a lot of. I think the veneers are a status symbol because it's very expensive to get done. I always think about this tweet from a few years ago that was a picture of Kirsten Dunst and

Jesse Plemons. And the tweet was like, I'm so sorry that I can't say this without sounding like a serial killer, but I love looking at two people who still have their real teeth. Real teeth. And it was like so, it really stuck with me because I really don't notice teeth. Like I don't, when you at Holden would talk about like noticing celebrities veneers, I would often be like, oh, I haven't thought about it. even Miley, like, I know that she looks different now.

And I'm like, oh, yeah, it's because she's got giant teeth. Yes. And honestly, it takes me a while to figure out. I'm like, what is different about this person? Because I am not usually looking at the other work. Yeah. And she's, yeah. Like, and it's aging and all this stuff.

But yeah, like, you look at Jesse Plemons and Kirsten Dunst and you're like, you look like real human beings in a way. I mean, everybody loves them because Jesse Plymins really just looks like a normal human being. And I love them. and they just walk around the neighborhood with the kids and they're just like bringing tablets to the restaurant. And that makes me feel judged by them. But whatever.

It's just, I think that it's just with that level of money, I just feel like you can't compare your child rearing to them. You know? Yeah. I don't know. I always feel. I mean, I'm sure you do anyway. I bring the tablets to the restaurant and I give them to my children and then I look around the restaurant and I think you're all judging me. Are you all judging me?

You know what? I would be judging you positively. I would be going, yeah. Give them tablets. Go have a night out. If that is what helps your family. If that is what, like, don't judge. I mean, not to go back to the parent shaming,

but we were talking about this before the episode started, too, that Kim Carter, not Kim Kardashian was breastfeeding her kid on a boat without a life jacket on. The kid didn't have a life jacket on. And the internet went mad because the child didn't have a life jacket on. But also, Courtney Kardashian came out and was like, you guys are right. I didn't even think about it. And I got him a life jacket. Thank you.

This is tough because every so often, internet comments are correct and helpful, especially when it comes to safety. And I am a absolute fanatic about water safety. If you are around the pool with your kids this summer, you have to have a verbally designated adult watching the kids. You know who is watching. If you are leaving to go to the bathroom, you verbally confirm that someone else is watching.

I'm really, really strict about this stuff. But yeah, life jacket on a boat, you got to do it. I'm glad that she was like, you're right, and I'm sorry. I was saying this reminded me of when I posted a picture of my pregnant swollen feet. And I was like, wow, swollen ankles are a real thing. And a bunch of you guys were like, MJ, you need to go to the hospital. To the hospital immediately. This is an emergency.

And I spent about a few hours being like, everybody needs to stop commenting on me. And then you went to the hospital. And I'm, you know what? And so it's times like that that we thank our community. Because that's what we should be doing. It's like we should be helping each other and supporting each other. And I think the real thing is just like doing it in good faith. Like don't be like, Courtney Kardashian wants to murder her child.

It's like, no, this might be an honest mistake. You're nursing. Probably not easy to nurse a baby wearing a life jacket. Live jacket. You know, but you just got to be done. You know, and I didn't know any of the like car seat safety rules or the pool safety rules until I had to figure them out. And there's a lot of people who might not know the best practices.

And so I do feel like, I am impressed with Courtney Kardashian for being like, thank you for pointing out this important safety tip. And now I will remind everyone else that if your child's on a boat, they need a life jacket. But also it is a little crazy that nobody on her team thought that maybe the kids should be in a life jacket. But, you know, maybe that's just me because I'm terrified of water. I don't know. I don't know. But, you know, I do know that some of the celebrities on this list are regretful for the work they have had done on their teeth. like Demi Lovato.

Back in 2016, Demi Lovato shared during an interview with Allure, I signed with the Disney Channel when I got to Camp Rock, and I had a gap between my two front teeth. They were like, would you be willing to fix it? I wish today that I hadn't. Because then we also have on this list, the Cynthia Rivas, the Amy Lou Woods, you know, the people that are happy that they never were strong-armed

into changing their teeth. Now, Kalani also once warned her fans against getting cheap resin veneers that caused her dental problems. She said, it's cheap and fast, but the amount of long, expensive dental work you're going to need after you go this route is five or six times the amount. She said dental work cannot be one of the things where you sacrifice quality because of price. It's your mouth. And when you get problems in your mouth, it can lead to disease in the body. That's true. problems in the mouth can lead to such insane shit so fast.

You can't go budget when it comes to your teeth, unfortunately, which is why, you know, it's prohibitive. It's horrible. People have horrific health complications and live with painful teeth forever because it's so fucking expensive. It's so expensive. And then dental insurance is just a fucking joke. And then it's like, then you're looking at people like Kim Kardashian that like just recently posted that she gets her stem cell like research therapy done and she like flies.

I think it was to Mexico and like gets and she posted all this stuff and everyone's like, oh, thanks so much. It's a very goop situation of like, oh, let me get in my PJ and go down to Mexico to go get the stem cell therapy done. Oh, thank you for telling us about this. It's just so weird. Like I hate to sound like an old crank, but like, you know, a lot of times what makes somebody a famous, what makes famous beautiful people interesting is that they have a little bit of weird thing about them. You know, it's like how artists like sometimes like have like a weird little mistake in their masterpieces and that's how you know it's not like, you know, it's like what makes you human. It's like why AI art is so uncanny because you're like, this doesn't look real.

And like the idea of like constructing a face to have like the idea of changing Amy Lou Wood, all the people, so many British people on this list, really giving big broken British smiles. But like Amy Lou Wood, Kira Knightley, you know, Cynthia Arrivo, the idea that any of them should change the way they look. It's like the way you look is what makes you interesting. Yes. That's what makes you beautiful. We yell about this a lot. Adam and I, we call it the Cool Kids Club. We have a cool kids club where we watch movies and we're talking about how like we miss the character actors. Like when we watch Jaws a month ago, it's like, man, none of them were pretty. It's like technically Richard Dreyfis is the hottest one in Jaws. It's like, it's like, it's like,

We used to have more, like, more texture to what we see in our media. And now it is way more about looking your status in a way that it never was before. Yes. But then that's why it leads some people like Leanne Rimes. She sued her dentist, alleging that a faulty crown placement caused her to develop severe tooth pain, gum inflammation, and chronic gum bleeding. The singer who was unable to perform at certain tour dates because she had to undergo dental surgery sought monetary compensation for loss of earnings and future earning capacity.

We don't know how it played out, but I mean, it makes sense. It really is like the Kardashianifying of beauty. And I don't mean to put it all at their feet as a family, but like there is this way that when someone ascends to a certain level of fame, you're right. There's there's now this expectation that you change. your face, your teeth, and your body to match this certain aesthetic

as opposed to rising to fame and being a dynamic person who people want to watch because of the unique way that you are. Again, Iowa and Barry, imagine changing anything about yourself. It's perfect.

You're flawless. And it's like, yeah, I mean, this will be some book, some thesis statement I'll write someday, but it's like,

yeah, MJ. It's like what Goop did to health and then what the Kardashians did to beauty. And it's just like, oh, what if we took all the joy out of eating for coop? And what if we took all of the joy out of like the way people look? Looking yourself and liking looking at yourself and enjoying what you look like and understanding that most of what we see is created.

A lot of what we see is tweaked, is filtered, is filtered. And I know we're not supposed to. And yet we're trying to compare ourselves. I'm not, it's not, it's not of my business. I shouldn't say that Miley Cyrus looked perfectly fine before she got any work done because it's her body and it's her choice and all that. But I'm like, but it is. So without calling out individuals for the work they get done, I do feel like it is, yeah,

even just you saying the thing about jaws. And it's like, yeah. And, you know, we don't want to be reactionary here. It's not like there wasn't a horrific bad beauty standards in the 70s, too, especially for women. No, it's always been, no, it's been bad. I mean. There's the idea that...

Things have been bad for women for a long time. Right. But at least, yeah, I don't know. There's just this, there is this kind of like, everybody has to look like a Kardashian now. Yeah. I don't want that. I'm in that world.

No, I don't. And yet I find myself, though, sometimes thinking about it, thinking about... That's me sucking it in. I know. I know. I've seen you post-Botox. Yeah.

And you know, you look great. You wait till I start ripping all the fat out of my jeans. You know what? I look too young. Yeah, I want to, yeah, I'm going to put it in my teeth. Put the fat in the teeth. I'll put it in my tongue. That'll be fun and different.

Is it for the list? But that is it for the list. That's it for the list. All right. Well, that's perfect timing. Where did she go? Because I think I'm going blind items. I can't see them.

Oh, no. I'm all alone. MJ, I'm all alone. What am I going to do? Okay, this first one is hard, but I will help you. This is a really local. This is Brooklyn specific, but I had to, but I had to. But it's not, I mean, you'll see what I mean. The ankle monitor wearing fraudster slash influencer. Let a 19 year old take the blame for abandoning bunnies in the park. Who wanted the bunnies for the photos in the first place? Okay, so the reason this is Brooklyn specific is because this is a real, in Central, wait, in Prospect Park. They're released in bunnies.

This is a real life celebrity controversy that started organically where, or at least this is, I was following this on Twitter. I haven't independently fact-checked this, right? But there was this person, the celebrity in question,

and I will help you figure out who she is, but she did this photo shoot with three bunnies. Okay. And then there was like a Brooklyn you know, face local Facebook group.

Like can someone, I just found like a couple of days later, somebody posted, I just found these domestic rabbits in Prospect Park. They're not local to the park. They've obviously been dumped by someone and they won't survive in the park. Can someone please help me rescue them? Come get these bunnies!

It turned into this like local heroes finding the, the pictures, posting the pictures of the bunnies who had been abandoned in Prospect Park. And then people reverse engineered the images of the bunnies from the local Facebook group that people had found to realize they were the bunnies from this photo shoot, this influencer's photo shoot that had taken place a few days earlier. I am going to let you know while usually here I don't cheat. While you were explaining this, I was like, I read about this. I saw this headline. Where did I see this headline? Where did I see it? I saw it in the post.

makes a lot of sense. And honestly, it would have taken me a long time to get Anna Delvey. I will throw that out there. But then even then I would have been like, oh, that, I know, like, the actress is also in weapons. And I was like, the bitch that's in weapons that played Anna Delvey. It's like, that's not even, you know, I was like, I had to, I had forgotten what the name of that series, the Netflix series about her was.

It's inventing Anna. But there were, yeah, I was like, I didn't, because I didn't even really. know much about Anna Delvey. I just saw that show about her and I was like, she talked to clock, like, ha, cluck, that's fun. But yes, she did a photo shoot in Brooklyn with these three bunnies and then she abandoned them in the park and she blamed. And then when she got caught, why deal with them, you know? And I love that she got caught because locals found the bunnies, wanted to help them, took the pictures of the people like, wait a minute, that looks just like the three bunnies from Anna Delvey's photos shoot. Especially, oh my God, the bunnies. It's not even

Like, the picture, the Anadelvie picture is just like bunnies on a leash. Like, why did you need bunnies for this? Why did you need bunnies to then abandon them to die in Prospect Park? At least send them to a farm, quote unquote. You know what I mean? Like, don't. It is. Just release them.

But it's just such a Brooklyn, I feel like this is just a very Brooklyn story to be like, all right, we found the bunnies. The bunnies are from Anadelvie, you know. Oh my God. The bunnies are so. They're really nice bunnies. I know. They're really cute.

They're really cute bunnies. I just spent a week with. family and they have two guinea pigs and my kids want guinea pigs and thank God for my cousin, my nibbling who said to my kids, listen, the guinea pigs are cute, but they are a lot of work for very little reward. And I said, very stinky and they bite a lot. Bunny, I had a bunny rabbit when I was a kid. That bunny hated me. So I'm just saying to the kids, I'm like, if you want a pet who smells bad, shits everywhere and hates you, get a bunny rabbit. But I may, listen, now we're going to get a bunch of pro bunny comments. Maybe some bunnies are.

wonderful I might be on. I met some great bunnies. And apparently most guinea pigs are great pets. Some people say guinea pigs like a cat. I love guinea pigs. I do, I am worried because someday when we have this space, I would love to have even just a whole pen for guinea pigs. Yeah.

No, and I love, I love, I love, I love, you need to give them a lot of attention, more attention than you expect. Honestly, MJ, if you ever get to the world of actually talking about guinea pigs, we'll talk Okay. All right. I'll talk pig with you. Let's talk pig. I don't want them. My children want them.

But your children might. And I would say if somebody offered me one of Annadelves rescued bunnies at this point, I would take it just because you got to do it. You live in a small apartment. You know, it's like not that you're not that your apartment is an ugly size. With two caps. That's what I'm saying. Like, I don't think you can start adding bunnies and guinea pigs into that place necessarily.

But if you have one of Anadelves bunnies and you want to give it to me, I will take it. Done. They're cute. You heard it here first. They're floppy ear. and they're very, very cute. And send, just put them in a box,

ship it. You can honestly ship it to my P-O-Box and then I'll ship it to MJ. 4804, Laurel Key 4. Number 378, North Lollywood, California, 9-1607. We can arrange a bunny handoff.

It will just be just like the scene and Nuffle Bunny too. Okay, that's about a stuffy, not a real bunny. By number two, speaking of bothered, this illiterate actress

is completely unbothered by all the fuss over the ad campaign. She is signing on for more of it. Sydney Sweeney. Yeah, bitch. Of course, we're going to get more of it. I'm already annoyed by it. I'm so, so annoyed by it.

American Eagle's Instagram followers have skyrocketed following its ad campaign with actress Sydney Sweeney. And now there's like, there's talks that M.G.K. And Sydney Sweeney are in a relationship, which also maybe they fucking deserve each other. May, all right. It's the quote now American Eagle has finally put out a statement, took them a bit. On August 1st, they put out a statement on Sidney Sweeney as Great Genes is, and always was, about her jeans. Her story will continue to celebrate how everyone wears their AE jeans with confidence their way. Great genes look good on everyone. Question American Eagle. If it's about her jeans, then why is she talking about blue eyes and blonde hair being passed to? down through genetics. That's my question for you. But yes. And also, thank you to everybody who pointed out that the collaboration with her and Bezos is for her lingerie company. Oh, good. I'm glad you could sell your entire soul for your lingerie company. That's what she's doing. If you had one to

begin with, maybe you didn't. Everyone's saying that she's not good in White Lotus because she's just playing herself. So I stand corrected. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, again, very good at playing herself. But I don't, you know, all of it can all just go the way of the dodo as far as I'm concerned. I don't want to hear about it. I don't, I feel like Cindy Sweet and now, I'm like, man, you were simple that we were like, oh, it's like, lift. It's like, oh, cool, a young person up and coming.

It's just, it's the summer of discontent, I guess, everybody. This is our summer of discontent. We're going to have to wait until second helpings to talk about how machine gun Kelly doesn't eat. But I, you know, I... We don't hear it page seven now, we don't feel the love for MGK that maybe Holden does. And that's... We love Holden. We love Holden.

We love Holden. We do not care about... Don't care for him. Don't care for his music. Most of what we hear about him is bad. So just putting that out there. But yeah, now he... Oh, God.

name a grosser couple than potentially Sidney with machine. That's what I'm saying. I was just like, I guess you guys deserve each other. All right. Well, go ahead. Have a good time.

Yucco. Okay, now this next one, number three, the timing is a little off, but you'll see what I mean and you'll be able to figure out. If this A plus list singer does announce new music on Wednesday, the coffee singer is going to be really upset. This month was supposed to be her time to shine.

Oh, my God. But also, Sabrina, you're still going to have your time to shine. Yeah. Like, you're still going to drop the album. You're going to have, but also, you know, it's a blind. Yeah. We don't know if this is true.

Don't know if it's true. But then also, I'm seeing immediate things of like, are Sabrina Carpenter and Taylor Swift collaborate? Yeah, because they're, they're cool with each other, aren't they? They're, they're, they're, she, oh, Sabrina Carpenter open for Taylor Swift. It's her and Olivia Rodriguez who aren't cool with each other, allegedly. Yes. Although now they even say they're fine now.

They're all copacetic. it was over a boy. They've gotten past it and good for them. Good. Yeah, well, allegedly, Sydney Sweeney's not cool about it because this is supposed to be about her. Or Sabrina Carpenter. Yeah, what did I say? Sydney Sweeney. I think Sidney's having a great, honestly, I think the only person that's having a great summer is Sydney Sweeney. Sweeney is having a great summer. Sabrina Carpenter, I hope, I mean, I, you know, I wish nothing but the best for Sabrina Carpenter. Oh, yes. Oh, only. I, only happinesses. I send her. her way. Yeah, a lot of people are hoping that, that, um, Sabrina and Tay will collab. I'm down.

Oh, that would be great. Let's have some fun around here. Let's have less eugenics and more fun. I love this for us. Good Lord. Well, I can see again. And I welcome back. Opening my eyes to the giant bug that crawled up Jennifer Lopez's leg while she was. I thought you were about to say that there was a huge bug in front of you was like, MJ, we cannot. We can't. What is it? Go deal. with it, go get it. There's a lot of bugs in my life right now because we're in the country, but Jennifer Lopez had a bug on her and she dealt with it gracefully. That's how I would deal with it. Can you, Matt? Like if I had, I already seeing a centipede in my home. I know it's not a centipede. It's, what do you say, a cricket? She had like a cricket on her or something.

Yeah, she had a cricket. Yeah. So it's also like, you know, I, I mean, crickets are pretty cute. Yeah. And Jimity Cricket, I mean, I feel like that doesn't yuck me out as much as like a little, the huge, thick, throbbing grasshop. Anyway, speaking of throbbing, I guess it's time for Jackie's Snacky's Snacky's. I just realized, uh, April, could you, April, hit it. Is somebody going to eat those chips? Is somebody going to dip those dips? Is somebody going to try those candies? I got seminar.

They say I'm a snack lead. I just want to say thank you guys so much for the love for the new Jackie Snacky's theme song. I would like to hopefully record a version of my own of it at some point. But I really feel like it's given right now. It's perfect. It's really, I'm going to eat my chips. I really need to just listen to it. it, get it in my head. Thank you, bad

Cuchycopi. You have give it, what a gift upon this day. But man, speaking of, so I had had a whole other thing set up for a one Mr. Beautiful, Sexual. Ed Larson.

I didn't want to say, like it was like, Jackie, think of any other word that begins with S. couldn't. That's it. Sexual was the only thing I could say. Why? Did I do that? And Larsson oozes sexuality.

Man, that's what everybody's always saying. Like, oh, you can't even, oh, my God, slippery is an eel. No, I switch it up because MJ's Minute Munchies, this is a, wow, coastal to coastal collab here. It is a meat journey of sorts that we are having here on Jackie Snuckies. Now, I got some limited edition. You were going to have some meats for Eddie, but you're saving your meats for Eddie. So you've got some other meat.

Ew, saving my meats for Eddie. You're going to get meats at Daddy's deli. Oh, yeah. No, so instead of using your meats today, you got your meat flavored. I got meats for tomorrow. I've got meat flavored pringles instead. Limited edition. Now, I know that there are three kinds.

The elusive third has. still been, oh, I know you're out there, bitch. A lot of people talking about these pringles. Remind us the meat-flavored pringles. Okay, so we've got beer-can chicken pringles, and we also have grilled beer brought pringles, which honestly,

MJ, it made me think about you. There's something about a brought. I don't know why. Really? Is it my Midwestern-ness? I'm hot dog, you're brought. Yeah. Well, I think I'm fine with that.

Bich Summer. Brought bitch summer. I'm fine with that. Speaking of, I'm going to jump into this grilled beer brought and see if it is. Now, sometimes, I'm going to throw it out there. I only have coffee in my system. Sometimes meat flavored things give me a bit of a nick. Yeah. Meat powder on a chip, it doesn't sound good to me. But I want to eat these pringles. How they smell it. How do they smell you okay? Wow. I took a big old whiff of that grilled beer brought, and it smells like a grilled beer brought, but that's, wow, just sent a wave of weird nausea for me.

But I'm getting it. Oh, I wish I had them. I would eat them with you. Grilled beer brought Pringles. Ooh. What do we think in? Grilled beer brought Pringles. Pringles are really good.

I know that they're a composite. These have a really good flavor on it. Yeah? You're not pukin? As I was eating it, I realized what it is. It's the PUDs. Savory Puds have scared my body from a lot of smells and things like that. Yeah.

Because you have a lot of meat flavor and something that's not a meat texture. Honestly, the grilled beer brought doesn't have as much. I thought it was going to be really reliant on liquid smoke. I thought it was going to be way more that. And sometimes a little bit of that, but in this, a little bit of that goes a long way. Definitely. I'm just going to eat one more. So, yeah, this is, I'm looking at the can.

It's a collaboration with Miller Light. Oh. It is a collab with Miller Light. Honestly, ooh, the grilled beer brought, dip it in pimento cheese, even though Pringle's not really a good structure for pimento cheese. No, it's a composite. It's a composite of potato. It is. It is, it is.

But it is still, I think that you can figure out. I'm going to get into the beer can chicken. Particle board, but for chips. Roast chicken does kind of make me think of Megan Markle because it is she and Prince Harry's favorite food. It's pure can't chicken. Just roast chicken. Wasn't there something in Gwett's book, Jackie,

about how they also love roast chicken? Chris Martin's favorite. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like every fucking celebrity's favorite food is roast chicken, which is fine. Maybe you just long for plainness when you're a celebrity. Wow. I also was going to say, I felt like, I was like, is the beer can chicken just going to give me the grilled beer brought?

But they got the, must be, oh, it's probably like chicken stock powder or something because they got the chicken on there. Very chickeny. Not too much. Interesting. I not, I not, I not think that I thought I want chicken chip. Yeah, it reminds me of those crackers that are like chicken and a biscuit crackers. chicken and a biscuit. It is, yes.

Which are good. If you, if you like chicken and a biscuit, you'll love these chips. You'll love those chips. Okay. All right. I don't know if I would go in and eat a bunch of the beer can chicken. But good to put out at a party. Good for a party.

Good for a barbecue. Yeah. You know, we're hitting the end of summer here. And, you know, as someone that loves my birthday month but also despises summer, we have to look for the good parts. and the great parts for me of summer are usually meat-based. So check out the limited edition Pringles. I don't know. I feel like I need to get like a seal of approval.

You know what I mean? I don't know if I would put this on like my Jackie's list of got a halves. You know what I mean? Yeah. But I, the grilled beer brought specifically with dips on there. Ooh, with like an alote dip. Yeah, you're right. Jackie, we need like a ranking system for you.

You know. You're right. You're right. We really do. Like buy it for your next party or like a never. And then you need a medium one. That's like if you see it at the checkout counter, grab it for the bit. Bro, I have purchased squashies again.

Oh, my God. Taylor Swift loves them. I bet she fucking does. And I want to say thank you everybody for the squashy love out there. Squashies are apparently a big treat in the UK. And they're not, like specifically squashes are different than chewy fruities. So now that I know this, I was like, well, let me go back in for seconds. And then I ate the whole bag.

And you shouldn't. You shouldn't be eating a whole bag of squashies. Yeah, I don't want to try the squashes, but I'm happy for you. But do you want to have M.J's minute monies? Ooh. Yes, they can snack. M.J.'s mid munchies. It is also meat-based.

It is meat. This is our meat day. I just had to grab something. It's a meat day. It's a meat day. It's my birthday. It's a meat day. I had to grab something weird because, again, I'm traveling.

Usually I can find something weird at the bodega downstairs, but we're traveling, and I was at a, like, a cute little health food store in Boston, and I saw primal spirit vegan jerky. And I... Oh, wait, it doesn't have meat in it. It's a fake meat. It's a jerky. It's a fake jerky. I love jerky.

I love a slim gym. I love a travel. Jake got a lot of like novel jerkeys when we were on tour. Oh, yes. Now, have you had vegan jerky before? I think I've tried it and not liked it. I think I think which was it beyond or imposterone? I feel like some one of those good meat companies made a turkey.

Yes. Yeah. I think it was beyond because I believe that I tried that as well. And you know what it is while you're opening up your package? You know what I think it is? it's the texture it is a specific texture okay you're oh you're getting into oh oh that face oh that face wow to this and still talk wow spitting it out yes wow i'm sorry i'm sorry primal spirit oh but you make fantastic jerky it's just not it's going to take primal spirit no no no i love you and i support

your vegan jerky it's nice to be able to grab a protein stick and have it be vegetarian. I just, it's going to take me 10 minutes to chew through that and I don't have that time right now. But I'm not saying I wouldn't buy it again, but I am saying it's like the American spirits of jerky. You have to like, it takes a long time. Remember how long American spirits used to take the smoke? Yeah. Every time someone would offer me one if I was out of cigarettes and be like, oh, I don't have 40 minutes. Thank you very much. Yeah, this, you know, I know jerky is supposed to be dry and chewy, but. Yeah, was it wet? What didn't you like about?

I need to know. It doesn't taste like... Make it more visceral. It doesn't feel like food and it doesn't taste like food. And I'm not... This is not an indictment of vegan meat. I love... You guys know I love fake meat.

I live on fake meat. Impossible is like what a gift we've received of the corporation of Impossible meat. I adore fake meat. But it did... It just tasted like chewing on a piece of leather that had been like dipped in a light amount of soy sauce, maybe? I don't know. Oh.

Well, it's vegan. I guess it's what, amino acids? Yeah. Is that amino acid? Liquid amino. I love liquid aminos. Liquid amino, yeah. Yeah, it's basically like a, like a, we have better fake meat technology than what this is.

And you better go out and find a better one. It is Beyond, by the way, but I don't know if Beyond still makes the jerky. Yeah. They did a pretty good job with it the first go around. Yeah. And I would definitely, if impossible, I don't know if Impossible does it, but if they did, I would definitely check it out. Yeah, I mean, jerky is awesome.

And I have had a lot of good vegan jerkeys in my day, which is why I bought this one. But the problem with jerky is that I just hoover a bag so fast. Yeah. Like, I can't have jerky in the house. I can't keep it anywhere near me. I know that it's like a lot of it is filled with a bunch of shit that like I'm not trying to be a goop over here. But, you know, and I'm saying this is a hot dog ambassador of the Southwest

region of the United States. It's sodium needs, you know, you might just not be able to. And my needs are high. I love it. Oh, yeah. I love sodium. Don't tell me to reduce my sodium because I won't. Because I won't.

I won't do it. I am so scared of the day. I'm already hitting the place where they're like, you got to start working on that cholesterol. I'm like, but I'm the hot dog ambassador of the southwest region of the United States. I know. And seemingly, my doctor doesn't give a fuck. So I'll cross that. bridge when I get to it.

Well, that has been my minute munchies. Next week, I'll be back in New York and I'll be eating a spicy chip. Don't you worry about that? You're going to be getting spicy next week. And y'all, I will be spicier because I'll be a year older next week. So thank you, everybody, for joining me on this wonderful birthday edition of page seven. And tomorrow's show will be Jackie's birthday day. So birthday day.

Jackie a happy birthday. Make a post about how much you love your Jackie because I know I love my Jackie. Oh my God, I love you too, MJ. I love everybody. And thank you so much for joining us on this week's episode of Page 7. We're said it you love Eddie. We miss you, Eddie. But it's okay. You'll be back in the future. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. And you can come hang out over on the Patreon. on Patreon.com slash page seven podcast. We've got Jackie's book club on Monday. We've got buffies on Tuesday.

We've got celebrities on Wednesdays. And then we've got our ad-free shows Thursday and Friday. Come check it out. Patreon.com slash page seven podcast. You can also email us page seven podcast at gmail.com. It is one of the best ways for us to find out that somebody we thought was good is actually bad. Oh yeah. We didn't even throw.

I meant to pitch it to the fact that we didn't even get. into the fact that I was not really aware that Ozzy was a Zionist. So I'm just gonna, we apologize, I didn't realize that that's what he was doing with a surprise.

Why, why is this your, the big bone in your butt bonnet? But that's not the saying. But anyway. Bone butt in your boddent. You got a bone butt your body. I've got a bone in my butt.

But, but, Yes. Thank you guys for, if we do make a mistake, if we do sing someone's praises and them not realize they're bad. We do appreciate your emails telling us they're bad. Every week we get to discover another piece of shit. Everybody's bad. I don't know if you guys know this, but it's bad. A lot of people are bad. We try to be good. We're trying to be good. We do. We try. But thank you guys for your emails. We love you guys so much. And we will be back tomorrow for Jackson.

Jackie's birthday second helpings. We love that you guys. Bye, everybody. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.