Page 7 - Stay Mad w/ Holden McNeely

Episode Date: July 24, 2025

This week Jackie is croonin' like Chris Martin, MJ is begging for some 'llatin and Holden returns! Oasis is performing together again (for now), we're traveling back 1000 years (in pop culture time, that is) because the CEO cheatin' video dropped MOMENTS after they recorded last week's "Second Helpings", but boy does the video never lose it's KICK!  Everyone agrees a Katy Perry concert is the best place to steal kisses 'cause everyone's gonna be distracted by trying to not be crushed to death by the fallin' flyin' sky bug thing she rides over the crowd in, and it's a bad time for props 'cause Beyonce almost committed her own mass murder-suicide by flying over the audience in a car that started to have that Detroit lean in the sky! Holden is called out for his rudeness, and everyone please let Lexi know what they're stuck with when she leaves, and then Holden tries to deflect by revealing LIVE (at least to them) that Ozzy Osbourne has passed, RIP Hell just got another demon. Jackie wants to talk about the Reylo fanfic birthed "The Love Hypothesis" 'cause it's bein' turned into a movie with Lili Reinhart and Tom (master)Bateman, Daisy Ridley's husband IRL. A man in NY experienced a literal (Like, literal) "Final Destination" death involving an MRI machine, Katy Perry's havin' a bad time, but just remember she tried to STEAL A HOME FROM NUNS! The Orwellian state of the world has lead to the creation of Tyler, The Creator's newest album 'Don't Tap The Glass', the demise of public dancing, AND the ~secret family~, Holden channeled his inner 'Night Horse' and had 11pm pasta before he started his Goonin'! Then a horrifying list of '13 Near-Fatal Moments That Almost Ended These Celebs' Lives 4EEEVAAAAAAA', Blindz that'll make ya do a DOUBLE TAKE, and Jackie's Snackies Starts at 1:06:45.186 with an MJ's Munchie Minute at 1:14:08.174, and ends at 1:18:39.349!!! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Everybody better get their cheating hands on because let's go out out of camp is saved. Tides that have tried to swim against. Are you awake? Have brought me down to front my news. Oh, I beg, beg and please sing it. If it's cold play, we won't know. Come out of things unsaid. Shoot and nap off my head.

Trouble. That can't be named. She's shaking her head. Yes. I go's waiting to be a same singer. Wait for it. You. Uh-huh.

You. Okay. This is like watching my daughter performance song for me. I'm like, when will it in? Can we start clapping? And they will. Oh, yeah.

No, that is. That's not? That was. No, it's not. You were singing Coldplay? No. What is happening right now? She's singing song.

I've seen. I've seen. It's goldplay. Was that like a B side? No. That is an. A-side. Clocks is a huge

Colplay song. What is the... I'm sorry I said it was Oasis. People are going to be so mad at me. Yeah, that's insane. I know. I know. All right.

Get it out. Okay, you're a champagne soup. That's a... This is a mistake I have made before and it is offensive and I apologize. It's devastating.

I'm so sorry because one of the songs is good and one of the songs is bad. So, fillate me. I mean, not filate me. That's not what I mean. You want to get belated?

Sounds like we're The whole late in a day, boys. Yeah, boys. Colby's lame, but Oasis is our assholes. So I don't care. You can besmirch them all that. Oasis is respected and Coldplay is not respected. I think Coldplay might be respected by some people.

I feel like they're still going. Like, people still like Coldplay. People are going. Today is going to be the day that you get caught cheating on your wife. Yes. Don't do it at the Oasis concert, though. They don't want you to. You know what it is?

Coldplay, the only album of Coldplay, Coldplay I ever listened to was a rush of blood to the head, which was in 2002. And that was the last time I listened to Coldplay. There's got to be a more popular Coldplay song than the one you sang. How dare you? I just sang. I will try to fix you. You remember that song?

That one I love that song. Oh, I cried so many times. That's insane. Also, OASIS has been, Holden doesn't know that song. OASIS have been forming live again. Oh, there's V-a-Pew-M-M-M-M-Pewks. Shoot my brains out of my head with a gun. Wait, I am going to play it because I need to know it.

All right, while she's doing that. Oasis did actually come out recently. I think they've been performing live shows again. And they're like, we don't put in there. My enemies are like when we want to rule the world. Remember that one? I don't. We're trying to think of cold play.

That's what we're trying to do. And we're all failing. For three minutes. This is a pop culture news story. Oasis did come out. be like, we don't have got no nimbly pimpy glass scabs. So cheat on your... But also, I'm sorry, Oasis.

Is that something to really, like, be happy about that, like, people aren't cheating at your concerts? Because I feel like I would be proud that people wanted to cheat at my concerts. The Gallagher brothers or whatever their last names are. Yeah. With the watermelon? They love. Yeah, Gallagher and Gallagher, too, because the brothers started touring.

But anyways, the brothers of OASA or whatever, they just, they take any cheques. chance they can to shit on other bands, especially if they're British bands. They love to shit on like, they took the like, we're more popular than Jesus Christ, like the moment of the Beatles and just multiply to buy 100, even though they put out two good albums. Whoa, you are, you are coming in here. I feel like people really, really love Oasis. I need people to get madder at Holden than a for mixing up. The year was 1990, whatever, okay? Uh-huh. My, my, my, my, my, my, um, my, my, A cousin's husband, they are now divorced, by the way. My heart goes out.

We've heard this story. You were going to see them. They were, I was going to see them. I had backstage. We know this. We know the T-shirt. I'm waiting for the ride to the venue. You were like finding out that they got, but their feelings aside for what fucking night?

And this is why you don't bring Charlotte, North Carolina. But you know what? This is why you don't bring your sidepiece to the Oasis concert. You bring your estranged brother to the Oasis concert. You bring your sidepiece to the Coldplay concert. Yes. And you, you know, you embrace and you hide. And I know I am here to offer, we got to talk.

This happened like 10 minutes after Jackie and I finished. This also happened a hundred years ago in pop culture internet time. But that's why we need to talk about it because it happened right after Jackie and I finished last week. So we did not get to talk about it. And here's the thing. I am here to offer the very rational counterpoint to everyone celebrating the demise of these two families. annoyed with you. I'm sorry.

I, you're wrong. Do you realize that he's a CEO of astronomer which is an data ops platform that they have

that they make? And apparently he's a dickhead. If you're about to feel bad for the wife and kids, nay, nay, Susan. Why the wife and kids

don't deserve it? No. Yeah, they're fine. They just got the most cut and dry, open and shut fucking divorce settlement. They're going to live

the rest of their lives with all the money in the world. Oh, the kids. They, like, both of them have children. You're not going to think none of them deserve any kind of.

They're fine of. They're fine. I think that there is an argument to be made that these, whilst he is a CEO and we don't stand CEOs here, I think there's an argument to be made that they are private, relatively private figures and that they did not deserve this gigantic public humiliation. Bring in Henry, string them up. That's all I hear from what you're saying. And that's all I'm like, and that in general, the, I don't think that there's a bit of a

scarlet letter thing going on. I don't think cheating on your spouse is a, as it should be. a death sentence. And I don't think that it should ruin the rest of your life. But that's all I'm going to say. Now I'm done. And now we can celebrate. Also, how did you not know how he hid?

If I'm talking about string him up. Maybe it's Christmas string him up and isn't that nice? Like I'm covering him in tinsel. I didn't say kill, MJ. I think it's like, I think it's like let's decorate him and let's celebrate him. You know what I mean? It's very funny that he hid like a little child getting. It's so funny.

Unfortunately, it is. People have seen, I mean, how many times have you watched the video would you guess at this point? I, I mean, I've, I've even, without seeking it out, I've seen it at least 20 times. At least 20 times. I'm going to say 50 times. Wow, 50 times. It's the hiding. It's the hiding. As far as internet shit goes, like, right in your head, you're like, wow, the internet hasn't been this fun on this day since.

Insert thing, right? I mean, the slap, I'd say, was one. But even the slap had a hot debate around it. You know what I mean? Yeah. Slap was not that fun. This is so cut and dry. Oh, the slap was fun.

I mean, the slap was not as fun as, yeah. Not as fun. Because a man was hurt on a camera. And in this situation, look, no one feels bad. Lives were ruined. Lives were ruined. No one feels bad for a cheating CEO. I know.

I'm just saying that it's not, I feel like, no, I know. You're right. And that's all of my counterpoints are done. And I just want to point out how. And I banished them. By the way, and I swatted them all the way. Thank you. Swat of a way.

Swat of a way. Email Jackie if you're mad at me, okay? But I'm not, we're not... Yeah, I'll make sure he gets it. Don't worry. But how about this? I think we can all agree that it is annoying

that Chris Martin came out looking good in this situation. Sure, but we don't want that. But people I think are having more fun with it because of the lameness of Colplay, because they were at a Coldplay concert, you know? Yeah, it's true that the whole,

the whole reason that's funny is because it was a Coldplay concert. For sure. Chris Martin is like, ha ha, I'm in on the joke too. And we're like, no, you're not. You're lame. We're laughing at this because you're lame

and you're lame and your ban can lame. It is pretty funny. Because it's laughable to be at your show. Yes, when he says, either they're having an affair or they're just very shy. And I do like that he said that because it's kind of fun.

I mean, it's so crazy. And then it's also we all, most of us have worked in an office or at the very least a working environment where, you know, there's been a modicum of drama in the office. space and everybody just loves the thought experiment of like what that office was like. I mean, everyone must have had the biggest shit eating grin on. I mean, how would you even

handle it? There's no way I wouldn't have been overheard at that office saying some shit that got me in some kind of trouble because it would just be like, I mean, how many, how many secret conversations were happening? Head of HR. By the way, yeah. They were in the box with other people from their company as a way to like cover it up. So obviously people in the company do did know or at least maybe people had inklings that it was happening. It's just so brazen. It's so brazen. I just don't do so publicly.

I've rethought about this a million times, right? And I thought about it again. I was like, wait a second. You guys decided to strike that pose during the, I mean, it was literally a part of the show where they go, let's meet the couples in the audience. Like, you wouldn't just want to be a little safe during that part. Yeah, that's a good.

That's a good point. The best thing to come from this is how now, like, all weekend at baseball games, they kept doing the Kiss Cam and everybody's recreating it. It's amazing. With the mascots. Oh, yeah. It's all over the place. We're in a divided country right now, but we're all united around how funny it is to hide from the Kiss Camp. And still, I feel like also a lot of us are together and still disliking Coldplay.

That's true. Yeah. Yeah. Except for the ones I really love Coldplay. Yeah. Everybody thinks Coldplay is funny. Yeah, no, I, I, even the part of me that, like, wants to be like, they're private citizens and they don't deserve this gigantic public shame. You did, I mean, that is, you're going to a public, unfortunately, for better or for worse, we live in a very highly photographed.

Yes. We can be photographed at any time. And I think that's bad. I don't like that. But it does, it is the reality. So if you're going to just be cheating. Yes. This is the thing.

I already know I could never cheat because I could never get away with it. There's no way I could ever, not even of like, I just couldn't. I'm not good at lying. I would never be able to, I think I'd walk in and be like, I fucked at the cold play concert, Jev. I fucked at the cold play. Right, right. What a weird circumstance. He would be more upset with me than it was at a gold play concert.

That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. What's a better band to cheat? What is a better band to cheat? Because I feel like, you know, I feel like, I imagine. Nine inch nail. That'd be a sexy one. Sure, that would be a sexy one.

That's sexy. You know, I throw it out there. I would be interested in someone that's going to choose like Backstreet Boys at the sphere. Because Backstreet Boys at the sphere. That's interesting. Wow, what a play. It's like maybe, oh.

And then they put you up on the giant sphere. On the huge old. It's like bigger. Yeah, yeah. Man monsters. Yeah. And you would be fucking like the mummy or something. Yeah.

If it's going to be at a Backstreet Boys concert, I want you to be cheating, but with your like, boyfriend from middle school who you have just reconnected with. He thought was gay. Who somehow became not gay? Yeah. Yeah.

You're talking about me? He's still gay. He's still gay. He's very gay. Yeah, somehow it changed. I don't know. I think all of our gay boyfriends are probably still gay. But you might have somebody who, you know, it was like a botanic friend and it,

you never, like, it never happened. But then you reconnected, you're like, oh, we should have gotten together all those years ago. Now we're at the Backstreet Boys concert, you know. but I don't know. Where are you cheating, MJ? Where are you going to cheat? I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about it. Yeah, I pick one. I pick my go, I'm going nine inch nails.

Nine inch nails. So that's your day. Well, then don't you think that like Lexi would be like, yeah, but you never listen to nine inch nails? Why are you going to nine inch nails? I feel like you need to choose something that like Jeff would understand if I was going to a back street boys show at the sphere. Big bopper impersonator. A friend, I'm a friarial. Go on Holden's big a. Oh, is that what we're calling my penis.

Big Hill. Yeah, it's a big hill. Yeah, because it's kind of like, you don't want to look at it. You just kind of got to squint your eyes and go, I guess it's there. Wait a minute. The answer is right there in front of us, guys. The answer is obviously a Katie Perry concert. The tickets are free. And there's so many errors happening on stage that you are not going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be looking at the dancing and the falling. Fans are saying flying props should be banned after Katie Perry's terrifying mid-air. Melfunction. I agree. I agree. I agree. You got Olivia Rodriguez. You've got Beyonce. And Beyonce recently, too, right?

Also just had a malfunction. They're trying to be pink. You're not pink. You're not pink. You're not pink. No, you're not pink. They're not pink. Because pink is an aerial...

Aerialist show. With cords, they're just sitting on a car. You know? They're just sitting on a moon, you know? I know. But don't you think they're inspired by pink and her actual skills? Yes. I too can touch the sky.

and then the Scott, and then your car falls. Oh. I know. That video of Katie Perry, I'm just like, is it worth it to die and perhaps crush several other people in the process just to be sitting on this stupid whale or whatever it is? For Katie Perry, at least if I was killed by Beyonce, it would be worth it. Right.

You know, like then I'm like, well, I mean, Beyonce killed her. So it's like, because Beyonce was in a flying car at the Cowboy Carter show and that was visibly leaning, like tipsy-turvy in the air above people. So I don't, you know, you got to remember this stuff is probably being put up. It's got to be put up and taken down at every single city they go to. It's got to be like every once in a while something might go a little. Yeah, by a man named like Scruffy Tim or whatever. Yeah, and I want to kiss him, my bet.

He's got a huge log, dude. I'm not talking about his shits here. I'm talking about his shits. That's good. Because if he was talking about his shits, I don't know if I'd want to slob on it. He's got big shits. Why would I say that? Good for you.

weird. Wow. What is also, Holden, welcome to the show. Welcome to show.

Yeah, I'm gonna introduce me or whatever. Holden's here. Yeah, I've been crushing it if anybody's worried or wondering or and also if I got

haters or whatever too. Holden's fucking crushing it. He's crushing it. So yeah. That's what people are, everyone is saying this. Yep.

Two words. Stay mad. Back to you, Jackie. When looking at you, that's, it is a very easy thing to do. You inspire anger in me.

Yes. honestly it's nice because especially seeing you early in the morning like I like getting my blood pressure up early I feel like last two times ago I came here and Jackie had a ice coffee waiting for me and I was like that is so nice and so cool and then the last time I came here no ice coffee yeah it's because he made fun of me for bringing him coffee you made fun of me for bringing you coffee and then I said I was drunk or something I was never done yes you did you made fun of me for bringing you coffee and then I said I was never going to bring you coffee ever again. I'm so glad that you brought this up. Thank you for bringing this up. You know, because I wasn't going to rehash it.

Wow. And you called me a stupid idiot for bringing you coffee. So why would I bring you coffee again? That doesn't sound like something old would do. That I would. Isn't that crazy? It doesn't sound like something he would do. And furthermore, doesn't sound like something he would do

and then not remember. And then not remember doing. There's no way. What else is happening? You did do it. All right, fine, what's going on? Tell me what's happening in the news. Sounds like, you know what?

Holden's just upset. I don't want to live in it anymore. Tell me what's happening in the news. It's no, I'm not living in this. I'm living in the fact that you are, it's your first morning after your first night of gooning because your family is gone. I'm not going to say they left you.

They're just out of town. Ball's done trained. Yep. And this is what happened. We get to deal with what is left. Lexi. So if everyone could let Lexi know that when you leave with the child, what we get left with, that would be great. We get left with the dregs of McNeely over here.

Who fuck are you talking about? I came in with my A-game, dude. Oh, yeah. I came into with my A-game, bro. Doubted. Yeah, dude. I don't know, because you don't have your coffee. Oh, wait, you did. You brought your own coffee. Did you bring me any?

No. Oh, what? I'm supposed to bring you coffee from home? That's insanity. You're just like the astronomer's CEO. And if I find out in these next two weeks while your family's out, town that you're just hitting up a cold play concert just to see. I'm letting Lexi know. Or is Lexi going to be at the Coldplay concert? Or is Lexi going to be at the Coldplay concert?

Are they going to be in Florida? By the way, I do love that now Coldplay will be the international symbol for like cheating. Oh yeah. Because like a Coldplay? The Coldplay. The Coldplay cam is what they called it at the baseball game. One of the baseball games was the Coldplay cam and they played the music and everyone knew to like hold each other like that and then and then get caught, like, quote, quote, caught cheating. I hate to tell you this, but July 26th and 27th, Coldplay is going to be in Florida. And, yeah, they're going to be in Miami.

And I know that Miami is far from Jacksonville, but I'm pretty sure that's why Lexi is in Florida right now. She saw that they're on tour and she's like, I got to go. I got to go. This is my opportunity. And I can't believe we're finding out live. Can you also want to know something I just found out live? Yeah, what did you point out?

Ozzy Osborne is dead. Really? Yes, just died. Whoa. Get it fucking wrecked. You're just trying to take the fire. But I just, I feel like I believe you guys.

I should have said get wrecked. Why did you say get wrecked because Osborne just died? No, no, no, I didn't mean it like that. I meant it like I broke something huge. He just died. Oh my God. You're just trying to take the heat off yourself right now, Holden.

Yes, I am. And I crushed it in doing that. No, she's still going to cheat on it. So instead of this, instead of this insane story you're saying about Lexi Chimmy at Colplay concert, Why don't we, by the way, can we just sit for a moment and recognize a rock and roll icon legend? I should go, I should leave the show and go check on my husband. He was able to do his final show, though, like last week.

Like a week ago. Yeah, he'll just in his last show. Damn. And what's his name from Slipknot proposed to what's her name from his daughter? Kelly, yeah. And, you know. He knows all of it. This is Holden's A game.

He's bringing his A game and he is blowing our minds. So we have to get wrecked, okay? And you all yellow. Oh, stop pissing on us. I think that the funny thing also about Chris Martin being the like kind of facilitator of this, the ending of this marriage is that the only other thing I personally know about Chris Martin is the phrase conscious uncoupling. Yes, which is great. Yeah, exactly. With Guine Othal-Trow.

And so now he is really the face of conscious uncoupling in many ways. Yeah, and, you know, again, the fertile ground of joke making that is this moment, you know. And it's really interesting, too, because we're about to talk about the ending of Colbert's late night show. And I do think this is a bit of a passing of the torch of what actually is the monoculture now. Now it is no longer that show that everyone gathers around the TV and watches every night. Now it truly is just straight up these just insane events happening that because, gigantically, you know, shared across all social media, you know. And that is our monoculture now.

Take it or leave it. But that's, I don't like it. I hate it. It's dystopian. Yeah. It's a bad. It's dystopian. Yeah.

Collection of various public shamings and public kind of pointing and laughing. Yes. We have in lieu of, you know, a tonight, a tonight show. Yes. Yeah. And it's great. So we can just, you know, be alone and just bash your head against the wall and just scream into the nothing. Yeah.

Yeah. Best in peace, Ozzy Osbourne goes out to you, babe. Get out of here. I understand. The monoculture is going through changes. Oh my God. Is Ozzy dead? Because I feel like he just showed back up. It's going through changes. Oh, God. Wow. Yeah, that's, I, I'm being, I'm just being explored musically in a way.

I'm not trying to music. Well, your wife is out of town, all right? Oh, bring up the cold play, is that we need? No, I want to talk about, yeah, the love hypothesis because we need to bring up Lily Reinhardt and everybody is cooing about the love hypothesis right now. And of course, over a lot of us out there, like me, no idea what the love hypothesis was. Never heard until this moment that you sent this article. Yes, that it is, it started out as a Kylo Ren and Ray,

fanfic. Now, Ray was played by Daisy Ridley in the movies, and Kylo Ren was played by Adam Driver. Now, it started off as a fanfic, but now the movie of the book is being made, the love hypothesis. Lily Reinhart was brought on to be the female lead. But also, this is, speaking of breaking the internet's brains, the person who is being brought on to play Lily Reinhardt's love is Tom Bateman, who is Daisy Ridley's husband in real life. Did you follow me? Did you follow me with it? I had to read this a couple of times,

especially because it was you explaining this via the list that you send of articles. You also interjected that you refused to call Tom Bateman anything except Tom Masturbatman. Master Bateman, I think it's hilarious. I took a minute to try to figure out why he deserved that, if there was anything other than just... Just because I think it's Baitman and Masterman. Master Bateman. I think it's funny. Yeah.

I think it's because it's hilarious. Because I laughed and I laughed, MJ. Is that why you bringing this up? So the mind meld here is that he is not Lily Reinhard. He's not playing opposite his real life wife. He is playing opposite the character who is inspired by the character played by his real life wife. Master Babin, yeah. This must have happened before in the past, right?

Well, this is his name's not Goon Gracie. Oh, man. And if it had been, though, I, you know, I can't imagine this necessarily has happened in real life. I feel like this is a very specific situation, which is why the internet is kind of cooing so hard about it. And they're just like, I can't wait for it. But I think also people really enjoy the love hypothesis as well, which is why it's being

made into a movie in the first place. Yeah. Actually, Wizard of the Brouser just did not too long. Well, back when we were Wizard of Brouser, we're now Nerd of Mouth. But when we were Wizard of the Bruser, we did a fanfic episode and we interviewed a lady who also had a pretty successful fanfic turned into about Kylo and Ray. Oh, really? It's a whole world.

It's all world. There's a ton of fanfix based on shipping, Kylo, Wren, and Ray. Specifically, interesting. And then they, and then, and then, and a lot of them are being actually turned into legit, like, novels where they just have to remove anything about the IP. It's another one like that, though, that it is just started as that. And then now, like, the book is a completely different story. Yeah, it's a whole world of that.

Because, I mean, if you think about it, that's where a lot of writers get their start is, is like... Well, like, Twilight in 50 Shades, you know, is that thing. It spurns a lot of ideas. It's a quick, easy way to, like, get your work out there, get responses to it because people are on those fan fix sites. Right. I'm not going to call them losers. Ouch.

Ouch. Why are you barbing at me right now? I'm not calling them. Ouch. Sad, lonely people. You don't understand what we do in our world. You're frozen. You're sexually frozen.

What do you tell? Oh, yeah. Tell that. Explain that. that to my fucking sock. Oh. If I have to explain it to your sock, I guess I will. That sock is so sad.

I can hear the sock like weeping in the car. Please. But also, when will the wife come home? Weeks. Not for weeks. As Riverdale fans and not just fans, but as two people who have Riverdale tattoos. Yeah. We should, we're bearing the lead here, Lily Reinhart.

making movie. This is nice for her. I'm very happy for her. A romance too? I think that's a good. I'm very happy for her. She's been very openly struggling with some health issues

and it is she's... Do you think she's playing it up a little too much? Yeah, that's what I was about to say, thank you, Holden. You know what? Yeah, I was meant to be like,

and get the fuck over it. Chronic illness. Blumbring. Oh, every day. It hurts again. No, I'm saying that I love her and I support her and I lift her up.

I think it's wonderful that she's working right now. Yes. Because I love her and I love her dog. I love her little dog. Her little dog is so cute. I'm really fucking around and joking around. What is her, do you know what it is? What her health stuff is?

I believe it is, it's alopecia. I don't know if it's alopecia specifically. There was also like a, she had a couple of posts about it. It's like, it's like not something that you've really heard of before. It's like, yeah, like some, I think, I want to say like inflammation. on that stuff. Something she's been that's really debilitating

that like whatever it is I think it's been taking a long time to even figure out what it is. Yes, I think there was a lot of down. Yeah, the thing that happens so often

with chronic illness of like I swear to God this is really happening but doctors not being able to figure it out. It's called like the Secret Garden with the boy with the little cranks and stuff.

Yeah, because of the ice bath it's too cool. It's called it's called. It's called. I thought the boy in the secret garden was actually fine.

and it was like they were, it was like Munchausen's by proxy. I didn't say that. You said that. You know, I'm not saying that that's what's true of people with chronic illness. I'm saying that's what's true of the boy

and the secret garden. Wow, M.J. Interesting. I don't know. I didn't get to that part. I just know that he was in pain. I had just seen the Secret Garden in a very long time.

And there's a musical. This isn't a song from it, but maybe it's what it sounds like, I've got a secret garden. You know what I mean? Go back to Coldplay. It's Yellow Man. You're even know.

And she also was diagnosed with alopecia as well. She's really been going through it. And it just sucks. So I'm really happy that whatever, hopefully she's doing something that is working for her. And she's getting back out there because it's so hard for everyone to like be relying on you, to be staring at you and then also be going through so like so many issues. Like a gau.

Like a gaw. In the documentary. Oh my God with her back. Brave. Don't say break. God damn it. MJ. It's your.

I got Sarah Borrellas as brave stuck in your head. Oh no. I'm so sorry. How does it go? That's not a song. That's not a song. I'm sorry.

What you just do is this. I don't want this. That's not music. She's right. Thank you. Thank you. It was the essence of Borrellus. All right.

And everybody heard it. Jackie's been mad at me for a week. Yes, I have been upset with you. it hasn't gotten out of my brain between that and also, did we play Bob Marley on Friday? Because I've also had, Wejaman. I just have,

I don't think we played jammin on our stream. Yeah, you seem to be convinced that we played that song on our stream, and I'm almost certain we did not. I blame both of you. Why? For all of my problems. I wouldn't play jammin.

I'd play the Three Little Birds song, because that's a better song. Yeah, but I don't know if it was your choice. A little bit. Who would pick jammin? Sometimes you got a jam, man. It's Friday. I don't know.

I don't know, Holden. All I know is that I'm happy for Lily Reinhardt. No one's like, oh, hey, do you want to hear this new fun song? It's called Jammin by Bob Marley. The song my parents would put on at the beach house when we would summer. Oh, oh, tell us about that. That beach house when you summer. Yeah, we would summer.

And you listen to jamming. Yes, yes. Oh, my God, you're being in Anthony Bourdain right now. Legend would be playing, always. You know, MJ was interesting. I was saying, um, In front of chat, I think on Friday that I was a little embarrassed about my Beatles tattoo. And it was funny because Book the amazing member of our chat did call out that I have both a Twilight and a Riverdale tattoo and that I should actually be more ashamed of those.

Yeah. The Beatles. Yeah. I think that's right. I understand that. And they are correct. Yeah. But also, I feel like I don't feel that way.

Yeah, of course. You're, yeah, you're becoming like a subway wall. Yeah, I feel like, yeah, like I'm a NASCat. Here's the difference. You got a Beatles tattoo in complete sincerity. And I'm not going to say at a young age. And I'm not saying that our Riverdale tattoos weren't in complete sincerity. They were.

But I think there was just a scent of irony to our Riverdale tattoos as well. A little bit of self-awareness, perhaps, that we don't, like, I don't. I think probably our feelings about Riverdale are different than teenage Jackie's feelings about the Beatles. And so I think that we, unfortunately, we live in a. world of cringe and sincerity is frowned upon and that's why you feel worse about the Beatles. And I say bring back sincerity. Yeah. Wow. Finally, it's time. Thank you. We all want to point and laugh at the little man and the little man of course being an extremely rich CEO. But I thought you were talking about

the little one that lives inside of your heart. Oh yeah, that tiny little man as well. I let him out last night. Oh yeah. I did you. What did you do? What do you think? I know what he did. What is that? By the way, what is that? What are we talking about? at this point. Yeah, we were talking about tattoos for a second, Holden. Yeah, I was just about bring us into another story. Is there something you would like to talk about? No, I just don't want to know about stories. What do you want to know about? No, no, no,

just whatever stories, I don't know. Do you want to, oh great, because we're going to talk about the final destination, crime that happened in real life, okay? Oh, yeah, I'm talking about the wife. Destating thing that happened in real life. The wife of man killed in a freak MRI accident. I need

to bring this up because the last final destination, there was a huge, ridiculous death with an MRI machine where someone was, because they were wearing so many chains, they were ripped into the MRI machine and like bent backward. Like their crotch was sucked into it. And then in real life, this man had too large of a chain on

going in to help his wife out of the MRI machine. And he got, I don't know if it's like, because the necklace got pulled in and I don't know if he hid his head really hard. Like it wasn't as obviously. obviously, like, ridiculous as it was in Final Destination, I can't imagine. But it's just weird that this almost exact death just happened in a Final Destination movie. And I feel like we should pay attention to this.

I'm surprised this was able to happen. I mean, that's the big thing about MRI machines is they have, like, super magnets. That's how they work. A lot of signage about the magnets. But, yeah, this was, this is, there was some, there was just another thing that was also a Final Destination death. It might have been something that happened with Katie Perry. Whoa. With the cotton candy shoes?

Just like in Final Destination, they're always bringing out cotton candy shoes. The Final Destation Ghost does seem to be attacking Katie Perry lately. You know. You are right. She's falling a lot. She's, you know, because that's not even, her getting stuck on the flying thing and it breaking or whatever,

which is scary as shit looking, by the way, if you go watch that. That's just one of the mini videos. And then there's also her just falling on her face. This is what I don't understand because I was watching the Katie Perry, video of how it's supposed to look. She just runs like laps around the state. What is that? No one wants to see that.

I mean, people have made a lot of jokes about the choreography. It's definitely made of like, I don't know if she's as or maybe she just doesn't think as much in the moment. Because I feel like there, I imagine for a big show like that, that there's a section of choreography that is shown

that like if you lose your place of like what to do to get back into like the, you know, timing of it, I would assume. But this is what I saw in a different video. She ran a full lap around the stage and then ran another one and then ran off. So it wasn't about like getting back to a place. She just ran in circles. And to me, I start questioning what is entertainment at that point?

Right, right, right, right. And also, again, we've been talking about this a lot, but we're everyone is also constantly anticipating it becoming a viral moment and anticipating the negative feedback they get. So now in addition to her doing bad choreography live on stage, she is also saying stop making fun of my choreography. Yes. She is, it is like Hilaria Baldwin's Instagram. I keep bringing this up. But every video that Hilaria Baldwin makes is her being like, stop making fun of me. And now Katie Perry is on stage in front of thousands of people being like, I mean, maybe if it's, if their people are in the crowds, stop making fun of me. And I'm just like, I need us to stop being so self-conscious that

we are afraid to do anything, like I said before, about cringe culture. I just saw this TikTok of a professor saying that students won't try anything or say anything in class because they're worried about being too cringe. And I feel like this is what is coming from being photographed everywhere. Tyler, the creator just put out an album that's literally like his whole thesis statement was like, I noticed my friends don't dance anymore, like when we go out and stuff. And I asked around why. And they're like, well, I'm afraid someone's going to be filming it.

Yes. And they're going to put it up somewhere. And then he was like, that makes me really sad that people aren't, dancing, you know, and expressing themselves such a simple act of expression. And I can't even, people don't want to do it because of fucking screens. And so the new album is called, I think, Don't Tap the Glass. And it's about like scrolling on your fucking phone. Really?

And how much that sucks and how we've kind of lost these, like, important moments of expression and stuff to these fucking phones, which I totally agree with. But at the same time, Katie Perry tried to steal a house from nuns. Yes. And so I have to repeat that. Over and over. Over and over, he guess. Taking the convent, taking other,

and also, like, other elderly people are willing. She's trying to harm the elderly. So just, I've had to repeat it so many times lately, M.J., because it keeps trying to trick me into feeling bad for her. I know, I know. And I have to repeat it in my head. She tried to hurt the elderly. She's me.

She's me. She's bad. Because they're like, MJ, you're being too empathetic to Katie Perry. You got to spend working with Scooter Braun and choosing to work with Scooter Braun. You know, it's like there's so many. And you're right. M.J. though, it is kind of funny. I do appreciate or Luke. Yes, Dr. Luke.

I appreciate the amount of people that whenever we start flip-flopping the other way of like, oh, and a lot of people are like, no, no, no, no, do not take her off the hook. She is a bad celebrity and she deserves the scorn she is getting. But yeah,

I feel like, you know, even the cold play thing, it's like, you can't cheat in public anymore. You're going to get photographed. Yeah. And, you know, if you're going to fall off a weird prop at a concert, you're going to get photographed. But that is, like, I don't know. I, for one, I think all three of us probably very happy that our, a lot of our youth was not constantly posted. If I had had a YouTube channel when I was a kid, how embarrassing. It was rough enough

with the live journals and the Zangas. Like, the fact that I had a public journal as well as a private journal was silly. Like that's so I remember how performative it was even then. And that was before everything that we have now. And then on top of that, you know, because of 23 and me and because of social media and everything, this is all changed. We were having a whole ass discussion maybe on Jack and whatever about the secret family thing that doesn't really happen. Or that used to be...

You can't hide a family anymore. You can't just have two families, which was a weirdly common occurrence, much to my shock and amazement. So many families. So many families have like big, like, that you're right, you just can't get away with it like you used to. more, which I say that in a positive way. It is a positive thing that you can't have a separate family because honestly, like,

who's got the time? I don't understand how these people did it. How they have the time? I don't get it. Well, because back then, if you made like a good salary, it was enough to keep two families going. And it was so- Men were so absent as family members in the first place. Easy to have, too.

I made the argument of like, oh, right, I forgot that like, you just showed up, were handed a beer, sat down and watched TV while everything else was happening around you, and then you would just leave, go to the other house, be handed a beer. Yeah, he's taken care of. Yeah, yeah. If that, I mean, I'm watching Cheers right now. Norm never goes home. Yeah.

No, he's always at the bar. But how would this have gone if there were social media back then? Do you think that the Sopranos would have been shamed? Because according to sex in the city, the Sopranos refused to share food with sex in the city while filming in the same studio. They literally said, you can't come over here. I bet they had the good food.

They had the best food. People said that like everyone knew that they had the best food. And I love. Because obviously, I feel bad for, you know, the crew. I feel bad for, you know, everyone else. But when you read this story,

all you know, all we're actually thinking about is the cast of the Sopranos and the cast of Sopranos and the cast of sex and city. And I think of, like, them being like, I want a brajule. Like, I just, like, imagine them, and they're like, like, I don't even,

I was about to say fancy heels. Like, I don't even know what got, Lou batons, you know, I don't even know if they had them then, coming over and, like, I wouldn't even, if I'm eating, like, Tony Soprano, I wouldn't even want them to look at my food. I'd be like, don't even look at it.

I don't want you put in your avocado or whatever you're going to put on my fucking, like, especially back then. Yeah. Like, For like a... No avocado! No avocado!

Giamina, a lot! By the way, James Gennoffey, I just saw this post recently. James Gandalfini's final meal just before his fatal arpe Oh, I love his final meal. Readoff.

Consisted of four rum shots. Oh, yeah. Two pinia colladas, two beers, two orders of fried pots. Talk about all the lobsters. How many lobsters? And a large serving of foie gras. That's, no, there's more.

There's like... There's even more? He ate his final meal that he, I believe, I believe, if I remember correctly, died at the table, oh, God forbid, that he ate for like six hours. Like it was wet, but also, again, Italy eating is different than American eat.

It's like, it is like they were manjaing for many hours and they would take breaks, but like, he's smoking cigars. In Italy, okay. He's with his son. Oh, just, you know, in Italy, they're sleeping as eating and eating is sleeping. In other words, they eat, when we normally would sleep for eight to ten hours a night. They're eating. They're eating.

And then they take three sleeps a day. Yeah. They eat. They sleep in the morning for an hour. They sleep at noon and then they sleep and then they just eat through the night. That's my cold play concert. See, that's how I want to cheat. I just want to cheat in many, many hours of eating. Is she eating? No, she getting

fucked. I can't tell. I can't tell. I make the same noises. That lobster's eating a pussy out. Wow. Talented lobster. I guess I'll keep this one I just can't believe that the craft services for the Sopranos were so good.

Kristen Davis said that it was like going to the best Italian restaurant you could ever imagine. Oh, yeah. I mean, how could you feed them anything but the best? Like, I think about, like, we've talked about this. You imagine getting mad about the food, dude? I mean, because especially, like, you got to remember, Tony Soprano in these episodes, and I, I mean, I could just watch it any time. I just love the Sopranos so much.

He has to eat so much during those episodes. But from the beginning to the end, you can hear the difference of how he ate. Because the last like two or three seasons, he literally was like, like you could hear the sounds of him struggling as he's eating through scenes. And if he's got to eat that over and over again, you think it's not going to be good? Yeah. I just remembered I had like 11 p.m. pasta last night. Oh, yeah.

What kind of pasta? Man, Gounen started early. Who left yesterday, bro? Yeah, we had 11 p.m. That was coming to pasta, maybe. The sleep schedule that Holden just described with the eating and the sleeping for the Italians, for him, it's you goon three times a day and then you eat at 11 p.m. Absolutely.

Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, right. I forgot. I have to wrap this up soon because I have to go jerk off in the battle. Oh, it is. I forgot. He did give me his jerk off schedule. It's like when you were breastfeeding MJ.

Like it is like, I have to keep, make sure he stays on the schedule or else. Yeah. God help both of us. It's a lot of mental. The mental load of remembering To be in the United It's a mental load. I had chicken And it's like a Trader Joe's pasta

Pre-made kind of thing. Chicken and cream sauce and noodles. We were just talking about Trader Joe's frozen meals For people who want a good frozen meal. I disagree, but it says it's made for two people. But I disagree with that. Whoa, you ate at two? This is like, I always laugh at the Marie calendar

pizza for one. Yeah, yeah. It's such a sad description on the box. Pizza for one. Baby, baby shoes for sale, never worn. Yes, yes, yes, exactly. It's like one of those sad one-line stories.

Pizza for one. Pizza for one. Usually pizza's for one. Usually you share it, but this one's for you to take home and sadly eat alone. Because we don't want lonely people to not have the joy of eating pizza, but, you know, they can't share it. Yeah, they can't share it. It's only pizza for one. Sorry.

Sorry, just for one. Even if someone comes over, unexpectedly, you won't have pizza for them. No, no, no, not giving you any, but I guess I will be giving you a little bit of the list. Who's on the list? Yay, got to have that list. 13 near fatal moments that almost ended these celebs lives forever. Wow. Now, some of these we, you know, do know, like Seth McFarland narrowly avoided dying on 9-11 because he missed his schedule of flying.

flight and Mark Wahlberg. And Mark Wahlberg had also originally been booked on American Airlines Flight 11. However, he changed his plans last minute, opting to flight to Toronto for a film festival instead. And in 2012, he did face backlash. It said, because he did say, if I were on that plane with my kids, it wouldn't have went down like it did. And he did later apologize for the statement. So sorry. I should not have said that 9-11 was their fault.

Why? You know? I'm so sorry. Interesting. But did you know, in 1961, Elizabeth Taylor came dangerously close to death after a severe bout of pneumonia. In the 2024 documentary, Elizabeth Taylor, the lost tapes, which I do want to see. Taylor said that after being rushed to a London hospital, doctors performed an 18-hour emergency tracheotomy, but that during the procedure, she was declared dead, saying actually four times I was called dead and stopped breathing.

but she made it through and eventually, you know, went to the Academy Awards with her probably displaying her tracheotomy scar. Wow. So, um, yeah, I know, that's why I bought that up. Yeah, it was about to be like, ew, yeah, put on like a tie or something. Or get fucking work done. Yeah. Out of there. Because Holden's going to puke while he watches the documentary.

Shalack it or whatever. What do they call it? Yeah, you just put the goo on it like they do with the apartment when I punch old. Spackle? Well, how would you feel? Spackle. Yeah, spackle it. Yeah, spackle it.

Well, after giving birth in 2017, Serena Williams faced life-threatening complications that put her health in serious jeopardy. She developed a pulmonary embolism, a dangerous blood clot in her lung. The coughing from the embolism caused her C-section wound to pop open, which led her into surgery, where the doctors discovered she had a hematoma, a localized swelling of blood outside blood vessels, in her abdomen. Williams ended up having to stay six weeks in bed as part of her recovery. Isn't that insane? That's like some alien shit. Her fucking belly popped open. Dude.

Terrify. Nightmare. Nightmare. I did not know. I needed. Your C-section scar popping open. MJ, what's up? Dude, that's good happening to you, dude.

Bro, I'm so scared. Yes. Oh my God. Right. Today it could happen. Anytime. Anytime I cough. Anytime.

Yes. Anytime you cough. And no good for you. I'll tell you that much. Yeah, never come again. Never again. Is that, yeah, please. Well, while filming castaway, Tom Hanks suffered a cut to his leg that led to a serious staff infection.

In 2009, Hanks told the BBC that he didn't know he had an infection and just thought his leg was sore. He went to the doctor who told him, I have to put you in the hospital immediately because we have to get this infection out of you before it poisons your blood and you die. Terrifying. He ended up staying three days in the hospital while production shut down for three weeks to allow for his skin to heal. It's those kind of things, too, that, like, you hear these stories. of like, man, it's a good thing I got that checked or else I wouldn't have found this.

And man, nothing shames me and scares me into going to the doctor war of like, all right, I'll keep checking. I guess I'll keep checking. Dude, Kathleen Hannah from Bikini Kill and Latigre, her documentary is really interesting. But she ended up like just on tour like out in the woods or something, ended up getting a tick. She just didn't know was there and got debilitating Lyme disease. Oh, that's horrible. It's insane. Like just some innocuous ass thing.

She was just anything anyone would do and not even think about it and just whatever changed her whole life. Like she had crippling fucking pain. Lime disease is terrifying. It was very well documented in that. It's a really good documentary about her life and career.

But man, that was, it's so devastating. It's just random bullshit. Yeah. And then, yeah. So check your fucking body for ticks. And also, if you think you have a staff infection, definitely go to the doctor because in 2021, Brooke Shields experienced a serious accident

when she fell and broke her femur while exercising in the gym. The injury led to her to have two surgeries with rods and a metal plate inserted into her. During her recovery, she developed a very serious staff infection at the side of the injury. Her doctors feared that the infection was caused by a type of bacteria that is resistant to antibiotics,

which could have put her at risk of sepsis. And so luckily for Shields, it turned out not to be that type of bacteria, but it's a good thing. she got it checked. This is, I do, this is my most, I'm a grown-up boring take is it's, I mean, unfortunately with our health care system, this is impossible for many people, but I'd rather be wrong and have it not be the thing that kills me, you know?

Yeah. I'll go to the doctor and I'll be apologizing. I'll be like, I'm sorry to overreact. And, you know, like, or like, I've reported a gas leak twice now. And both times I'm profusely apologizing. I'm like, I'm sorry to report a gas leak. And one time it really was a gas leak. Wow.

And one time it wasn't, one time it was probably gas from the bodega, you know, under, but like it would, there were, they were like everything's fine. But one time it really was a gas leak. And so it's like, yes, sometimes you feel like you're going to be really embarrassing by reporting the gas leak. Yeah. I'm sorry to put you out, but I think there might be a gas leak. And then there really was a gas leak. And sometimes you might really have staff. I tell you what, I think I had a gas leak after that 11 p.m. Post was.

Oh, God. Well, don't report that one because nobody wants to hear about it. He just passed out. Oh, my God. Fully passed out for my parts. And my shit. Yeah, well, we were talking about Pink earlier, okay? Well, Pink narrowly avoided a catastrophic injury when a harness malfunctioned

during an aerial stunt during a concert in Murrenberg, Germany. She was dragged violently off the stage and slammed into a stage barrier. Luckily, she wasn't seriously injured, and she later tweeted, nothing's broken, no fluid in the lungs, just seriously sore. I performed last night and around midnight. I'd called myself stink. Ew. Ew.

Ewe. Performed. And I had some malfunctions. I think performed makes me more disgusted than saying I make. Like, I got to make. I think that performs. So correct. He's disgusts me.

You can't keep them away. Yeah. You know, you can't keep him away. I didn't appreciate how he's talked about his shits and his farts on the show. We should be thinking about women's minds. Yeah, think about women's minds. You idiots. Anyways.

I just want to say Jennifer Anderson, she's just like me, she accidentally fell into the pool, and she fell to the bottom of the pool. Her brother got her out, but she's been terrified of water ever since. And girl, I feel you. Did you fall in the pool?

Yeah, and I didn't know how to swim. And I was very, very scared. And that's also why I hate the water and very scared of it. So I completely understand, but apparently with her phobia, even while filming her movie cake, she was forced to confront it while filming a pool scene because she really does not like to be submerged underwater. And I understand.

Oh my God. So another reason why Jennifer Aniston and I are so similar. You guys really should hang out. I know. Start like a lifestyle brand or whatever. She is dating a hypnotist right now. So I am hoping that maybe she'll, I don't know, teach me a thing or two or maybe I won't remember afterwards. Yeah, I feel like I would net.

That's insane to date a hypnotic. Yeah. They can just trick you into. That's why I would be scared. Dangerous. You want to have sex with me every Monday and Wednesday. And they don't date a hypnotist predator. You have to date a hypnotist you can trust.

That schedules the sex. Okay. If you wielded the power of hypnotism, you'd use it for good. Yeah. Yeah. It wouldn't be a sexual predator. Are you saying that if you had a sexual predator? Yeah, would you say.

Be a sexual predator. I would be a sexual predator, but I'd be like, oh, you know, give me a 30% discount on these golfs. No, I think you're admitting to us that you're a sexual partner and that's how you want to do. The only thing stopping you is your lack of ability to change people's brains. Yeah, just like how atheists don't have

our evil people because they don't have Jesus. Oh, good. Is this what you're bringing on to the show? Is this what we're saying now, huh? I'm just saying, okay, you wield the power of hypnotism. You can literally convince anybody to do whatever you want at your bidding. You're not going to use it for a little bit of evil at all? No, I never would. Not with my loving partner. Right, Jackie.

Yeah, no, I'm in love with my partner. Yeah, exactly. You'd be like, you're not mad at me actually. Yeah, yeah, I didn't actually make you upset just now, you know. I think that takes away from the experience of growing with my partner while we emotionally communicate to each other. Yeah, nobody wants their lives to be easier. That is an insane thought. Okay, all right. The crazy one.

All this fighting is making me go blinding. We can't see him. Why would that make you blind? Because it did. Holden, don't ask why it makes them blind. All right. You can see.

You can't convince a blind person to see. Don't you bring your sexual predator to act in here. You're not actually blind. I don't think vision works that way. I don't think it's a matter of willpower. But a seeing person, well, no. They'd have to be mute.

You could probably get a mute person to talk. I don't know if that's true either. I don't think that's, yeah. I don't think that's how it works. I don't think that's how it works. Blind number one. I wonder how the singer-actor feels, knowing his girlfriend is also sleeping with her nephew.

Whoa. Will Smith. Yeah, this is a really weird one. Will Smith. Not Will Smith. We hate him. DJ Jazzy Jeff. No, we hate him.

And we liked her until she started dating him. And then we were like, what the fuck? Maroon man. Maroon 5. Is he a rapist? Is that what we're calling him nowadays? Oh, not Chris Brown. Are you saying somebody who assaults people or somebody who...

A raper or a rapper. A rapist. A rapping person. He is neither a rapping person, and I don't know whether he has assaulted anyone, but he does have a bad reputation. Okay, bad reputation, but a singer. A singer with a bad reputation. He's famous for a song that everybody hated in the 90s, and he does. and he also has

famous offspring And he's dating The least singer of offspring No He has many famous children And he's dating a woman That Holden Boy does he love to goon about her We all gooned about her

And no Dave. Okay This was like a This is like the celebrity coupling It's newish It's a head scratcher Everyone is like

Why is this hot, cool British woman? dating this. Disgusting. Disgusting daddy, but bad daddy. He's a bad daddy. He's a bad daddy. It's not British because he's not a singer.

No, no, let's take it back. Who do I masturbate to that's British? Let's start there. Okay, who do you masturbate to this British? Okay, who do you master? Let me try to put myself in the mind of it. That is where I want you to start. I'll walk you to see me out.

Okay, I'll give you a hint. Oh, be hive. Oh, Heather Graham's not British. Oh, Elizabeth Hurley. Hugh Grant. Oh, Billy Ray Cyrus. She's been dating Billy Ray Cyrus? She's been dating Billy Ray Cyrus.

No fucking way. Yes. I will say. You didn't know that, hold it? I didn't know that. I didn't happen when you were still here for here on the regular. I folded that way. I blacked out most of the episodes.

I folded it away. Yes. Billy Ray Cyrus. He is a bad daddy. Yes. And so this blind is a real like Russian doll, Russian nesting doll. Okay. Can you read it again?

Can you read it again? Please get, now buckle up now that you know who it is. Okay. I wonder how the single. the singer-actor feels, knowing his girlfriend is also sleeping with her nephew. So the allegation here is that Elizabeth Hurley. Elizabeth Hurley has the weird thing with her son. Her beautiful son who takes her nudie videos.

And they kiss on the lips, right? And they kiss them about. Weird boundaries, yeah. Yes, she has really weird boundaries with her beautiful son. But she also has a nephew named Miles Hurley. And the headline linked within this blind is Liz Hurley's nephew, who survived a horror Road raid knife attack is caught drink driving after being stopped by police while driving at some speed in his BMW. So he is a drinker and a driver who also survived a knife attack and he is

allegedly sleeping with his aunt. Is he allegedly a stud? Well, I mean, he's allegedly like a child. Like I feel like look at this picture. Oh yeah. He looks way too young. Her face pressed up against his face and it says happy Easter but I would say if I ever pressed my face against Holden's face like that I'm sorry I think I'd puke all over you yeah yeah we wouldn't be doing that. This is not how

two people like MJ I would never in my wildest fucking dreams come up to you just press my first thing right for like a picture or whatever yeah it's very intimate it is weirdly intimate and if I was Elizabeth Hurley's nephew and she did that to me I'd be extremely confused yeah right because he is it seems

fairly, or I mean, I don't know how, I'm not saying like kid young, but it seems like he's 27. He's 27. He's 27. Wow. Wow. He looks younger than that. He looks boyish. And yeah, the son is Damien Hurley. And there is, yeah, they're both, you know, just. Oh, he was just caught drunk driving. Yeah. Yeah, that's what MJ just said. Yeah, drinky driving.

And also sleeping with his aunt, which is the bigger offense. Sorry, I was really losing myself in the pictures. I really just, you know, yucked me. It's a weird one. That was a real ice. Save that just for us because it's a head scratcher.

It's a good one. Thank you. Yeah, very upsetting. Blind number two, this permanent A-list celebrity slash reality star continues to cuck her husband on a regular basis. Whoa.

And not the Nelly Ashanti new show, is it? No, although we still have to talk about that. Because I do want to start, I do want to start watching that. Reality star, what? Just a celebrity star, A-lister, celebrity reality star. and she's cuckin. And she's cuckin.

And now are we talking about a real housewife? Or we, like, what world are we talking? Give me some reality hits. One of the original reality stars. We used to... Slooky, what's her name? Courtney Kardashian?

No, no. We used to love her, and then we remembered that she has a history of saying things that we don't love. Paris. Paris. It seems like, you know,

someone that still does follow Peresilton. She's a singer, by the way. That it seems like she is a... It's interesting because, according to social media, and obviously it's just what you see on the outside, it looks like she's never a part of her family, like, at all. But it's got to make it really easy to be a parent. Yeah.

Yeah. Just show. Hey, she can easily have multiple secret families. Yeah. Gee, really good. And honestly, it's like you look to the people that could still have a secret family. She shows up. They hand her a poodle.

Give her a DJ mixing board. You know what I mean? Actually, the link within this blind is her partying with machine gun Kelly. Yeah. Because they were romantic. Mentically linked for many years. That's crazy, dude. Every hot lady, yeah, Sydney's Sweeney recently.

Yeah, can you imagine? It's crazy, dude. Going from Megan Fox to Paris Hilton. People are hating on his, like, boy band turn. I think it's fun, by the way. Because I like bad music, but I still think it's fun. You've always liked his music. I like his first pop punk album, actually, specifically.

I don't, I just think the boy band stuff is fun. Like, I like the choreograph dances. I don't know if I'm, like, all in on the sound, per se. Yeah. But I think it's fun. Yeah. And I think, I think his people fucking hate it. hate when I say this, but I think his, that first

tickets to my downfall, that first pop punk album, I have it on vinyl. I got it a wax. It is fantastic. I think it is song for song, fantastic. We're not coming at you, bro. I feel like your test to me, dude. To a rap battle! Jackie is dumb and has stupid tits.

She's an idiot. Look at Holden over there. He's dumb, and I don't like him. I hope a bunch of dogs fucker to death. I hope a bunch of logs shoving. your throat. Whoa, that's a little mean.

Wow. Oh, that's a little mean. Interesting, this double standard that we find here on big seven. I feel like that was a little too far. People will be so glad you're back holding. Oh, she finds a lump in her tit. Don't you ever say that about anybody. Don't you ever say that about anybody.

I will check my breasts right now. Don't you thinner me with a fucking breastwork. All right. Well, blind number three. this permanent A-list actor doesn't have to bend the knee. He just sends his girlfriend off to play with the emperor's wife, and the actor can get whatever he wants. He really should take care of that coked out nose, though,

so he doesn't always have to wear a mask. Whoa. Not Leonardo DiCaprio. Yes, Leonardo DiCaprio. Wow. You're welcome. What mask is he wearing? Yeah. Well, he was wearing a hat at Bezos.

He always has a dumb hat. He always has a baseball hat on. I didn't see him with a mask on, but apparently he got a Coke. knows and yeah, apparently his girlfriend and Lauren Sanchez are having a lot of fun together. 27, right? Yeah. Broke the curse?

Well, I don't know. I mean, yeah, she's a little old. Like, I feel like, ugh. Like, does you have to like bring her, you know, I don't know, like a walking stick or something? Your brains fully developed. So yeah, it's old for him. This is what a cursed headline. Lauren Sanchez parties in Paris with Leonardo DiCaprio and Sean Penn.

Ew. Oh, God. Look at your life and make a better decision. How about that? You can make any decision in the world, all right? She's so, Julia. Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-oh, but not. We just passed.

Because we read Julia Fox's book and we know her now, okay? We just passed the one-year anniversary of, uh, she's, Kamala is so brat, by the list. Man, remember back then? The before time. How much has changed? Remember when we used to have hope? How much has changed? Not here, but don't worry.

We're still smiling. MJ, can you see again? I sure can. I can see again. Welcome back. Yeah, welcome back. Thank you for those blinds. And I really, I thank you for your service. Yes. And Holden, how do you feel?

I feel cleansed. Yeah. I feel like this is always a cleansing bath for me. I had a lot of toxic, just ill shit in me from last night specifically. You know, I think I covered that pretty well. I was just shitting and coming and, you know, all that kind of stuff. I'm really getting you're, you were performing, please. I know that we're about to.

to get into Jackie Snackies, but I did want to say, because I did pull this article for you, that Adam Sandler says that Taylor Swift is so damn nice to his family. He calls Travis Kelsey a gentle, nice guy. Apparently, Adam Sandler, like, Taylor Swift has gone out of her way to, like, make his girls feel very special, and I just wanted, I wanted you to hear that today. Well, let's keep trying to find ways to attack her.

Stay mad, haters. I'm so over it, dude. And everyone's like, yeah, but I still don't like her, but she's like, nice to everybody or whatever. I honestly feel like stay mad is your perfect slogan. Stay mad, stay dad. Because I think anyone that's in your presence is inherently. Mad.

Stay mad is perfect for a man who everyone's always mad at. All day, every day. I'm like, why are you in? I'm so sorry. You seem to be in a horrible mood. Why are you in such a terrible mood? Can I just say really quick, dude? Because Jackie just moved her coffee or whatever.

I'm so sorry I caught you a stupid. You're sorry that one's up. What about over 100 millions of, billions of other times you've called me a stupid idiot. It was so nice of you to, because I want you to bring me coffee next. Oh, so, so you're doing a public. Between his legs. I'm so sorry for calling you an idiot about the coffee.

I really appreciate that you got me coffee. Interesting. Low key last couple times was like, oh, I bet she got me nice to go coffee. Yeah, I would have gotten coffee. And then you didn't. Now that I've understood why, I may grow from this. Is this going to make you grow? Is it?

Maybe, or at least I'll watch my fucking neck. Yeah, I think you'll just think. about it. If someone does something nice for me out of the blue, don't just be mean about it. You know what the problem is that I am such a beautiful stoner in so many ways. And I'll forget almost anything you ever tell me unless it's something like that. Yeah.

Unless you call me a stupid bit. Like, the Leo in me. The Leo in me. That's my little elephant over here. And now I'm like, oh, I could never do that ever again. So I'm sorry. I really next time I hope you'll get me maybe coffee, please. I think you need to say, too nice things.

things about both me and MJ. Oh, okay. This is the beautiful counterpart of you never forgetting is that Holden will rarely apologize unless it will individually benefit him in the short run. Yeah. Okay. Most of your tattoos are not dumb. Okay. Thank you.

All right. I'll accept it. I'm assuming you're talking to me or are you talking to MJ. Can I make it for both? No. Okay. We have to have individual ones. That won't count for them.

You always provide delicious food. when we do like D&D at your place. Thank you. It's always so surprising and good. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. I appreciate that.

M.J, your voice is it nearly as annoying as people say it is in the comments. Thank you. And you feel bad for evil people, which takes a lot of empathy. Thank you. Thank you very much. We don't know that he's, I guess, all CEOs, we can assume they're evil. That's fine. I'll take it.

At least were, you know, you never know. So from these things I've learned, like, just because somebody said he was really mean at the office doesn't necessarily mean it. But it is refreshing that anybody who's spoken out about him has only had negative things to say about him as a boss, as a human being, right? Yeah, that's fun. It adds to it. So we know that the article, I mean, Jackie said it out that, like, people are like,

no, no, no, he's like a horrible CEO. Yeah, yeah. He, like, purposely tanks companies and, like, takes a business. advantage of the stocks involved somehow. So we can keep making fun of him. We can definitely keep making fun of him. CEO is one of those things. You don't get there until, unless you have hurt a lot of people probably.

If you're a CEO when you're listening, I apologize, not you, everyone else. I don't think you also openly get to the point where you're like, just publicly as fuck up on your coworker, you know what I mean, in a concert. So I think we're talking about a different kind of CEO. Yeah, I feel like there's a lot of cheating unless it's so far. Leger, that I even bet the wife knew we'd been, like, waiting for a good moment and this was perfect. And now, she gets to take him to the fucking bank, bro.

And just for the... Yeah. Just to let all the commenters know, I'm not saying that CEOs are good or that he's a good person. I just also, I think I weep for the death of privacy. That's all. Yeah, yeah. I'm sure the kids aren't having a fun time with it per se, but they might be...

Little cocks, you know what I mean? Little dickets. They might be little cocks. I don't know. I'm going to assume a super rich. I want CEOs to be scared. Have you met children of a super rich person? They don't tend to be good people.

But I hear what you're saying. I'm picking up what you're putting down. They're older though at least. And she was divorced, you know. So it's, you know, neither here nor there. It's probably a fun joke on mom. I bet it's hilarious. I bet all the kids are just like this, I love this situation.

Caprice. Oh yeah. No, we're getting into Jackie Snackies. Hold the phone. Oh, no, it's Jackie's Snacky's. What's got to eat today. Now, Alden, this is special because I looked everywhere for these. Specifically, Capri's son put out this limited edition, moon punch, and everyone went mad for it. And it's different moons on every pouch. I have to get this for winning. She's obsessed with the moon. And I, then this is great that I will send you, on Friday, I will give you.

you the rest of them and you can keep them because they are limited edition. I couldn't find them anywhere. It sounds like period blood. It doesn't sound like period blind. He's right. Unfortunately he's right this time. No one. No moon punch sounds like what you drink to combat the moon blood. I feel like you need the moon punch to get through it. Now, this is also, can we specifically on air? Yeah, it's great adjacent to the burial. You are right. You are right. Now I will say,

Holden, do you have a lot of experience putting the slinger in the pouch now because you have a kid? It's been a minute. Well, yeah, we did get some caprisons for a minute there, but. You know what I hate? The honest juice, the organic caprisons, the pouch, the fucking straws are impossible to get in. Parents, you know what I'm saying. Yum. Capricon's great.

I love capricon. You know, this is really delicious. Yeah, it tastes great. I don't know if it's blowing my fucking shit up. It just tastes really good. You know what my question is to you? You might have drank a Capri Sun recently, you know, more than me. Does it take, do they all taste this?

Like, I feel like it's like the nerd clusters of drinks. While I love every single nerd cluster, it is difficult to sometimes tell the differences. I drink a lot of Capri Suns in my life. I would say they all taste the same. I think this one kind of does, but I like that there's a moon on it. And I do like that I found it. So there was only one on the shelf when I found it. Dude, I'm telling you, I got to get this for winning.

She loves the moon. I'll give you the rest from them. That's great. I'll start looking out more. Yeah, she's four. This I saved for you, Holden. Okay. Now, how do you feel about pickles?

I see the word sour punch over there. So I don't think I feel good about pickles. Well, this is called a pickle roulette. It's a pickle roulette. It's sour punch bites. And now you can either get apple, watermelon, or, pickle or lemon lime. They are all green. You do not know which one is which.

And I want Holden to see, let's just see if maybe he gets a pickle. Make him eat it until he gets the pickle. I would totally do this. I think I'm going to make him eat them. You have to eat them individually though. So you can make sure. Is it like, what kind is it? What flavor? We've got watermelon. Yeah, they're like sour. I think I just got the pickle. You just got the pickle off the bat? What? You think you got the pickle.

Yeah, I think that's pickle It doesn't taste like candy Like a normal sour candy. But that's more of it. It tastes like Oh, it's pickle. Yeah, I think I just got the pickle. Yeah, no, it's pickle candy.

Yeah, no, I immediately got, man, you know what? It's smart that they They put the pickle one. I don't know if they just put the pickle ones on top Or maybe they include more pickle ones in their buck. I love the idea that they just, it's only pickle. It's only pickle.

It's only pickle. Oh my God, is it? Wait, let me try it now. I try it. Oh, I real. this is the one I wish I was there for the most. No, this one's watermelon. Once you taste the pickle, they probably all taste like pickle.

You know what it is? MJ, that's exactly what it is. I think they're all commingling into like a little jam band in here. And they fish out all the pickle. And now it's kind of like every single one where it's like, I get you're right. It's like, oh, this could be lemon lime,

but it also has a tinge of pickle. So, I think it could be I think they could have even made it like even more offensive Honestly you know what it is So I've been eating That's not that offensive actually

There has been a lot Like this season There's been in sick Like the pickle flavored shit Has gone wild I don't know if you've noticed I've been looking for that pickle ramen But I can't find it

You know what's out there somewhere And I feel like some of the pickle I love pickles I love dill as well Like I love the taste of like the pickling Sometimes it's not Noxious. Like sometimes it goes to such a point that it's like, oh, it hurts my tongue.

Like some of the dill pickle chips, some of them, it's just too much. But this I like, because I'm nervous that I would still eat all of this bag and be like, oh, that one's not pickle. That one's kind of pickle. Right. This one, um, it's pickle. And I feel like I would eat it and eat it and eat it. Be high and just eat all of them. Yeah.

Now, Holden, I know this is very, very different from what we are doing right here. But last week I did lament that I couldn't find the blueberry pie Oreos Because I've been looking everywhere for them and I found them Whoa And so I did I know I really wanted to do pickle roulette on you're like a magician's hat You keep pulling things out from nowhere This is the last one unless you want an icy hot patch Because I do have icy hot patches

Yeah let me eat it though Yeah do you want to suck on it? Yeah I'll suck on it Yeah they might heal me from the mistakes I made last night Now this is I'm sorry that we're going all across the board. And then MJ, I'd like for you to introduce

your snackie, but I really was excited to try these live on air. So I'm opening of the package right now. Because people were so... She's struggling with the package, by the way.

It's a very easy to open package but she's struggling. They were losing their minds for this and wanted it back and wanted nothing changed. For the blueberry pie Oreo, you say. I'm skeptical.

I'm not a big blueberry guy. Mm-hmm. And I think if I was more of a blueberry guy, I would be... More bold over by this. Rasmataz. I feel that this is more, honestly...

It's good. I love it. But I dare say it's more blueberry muffin than it is blueberry pie. Interesting. And if you are familiar with both of it, right? It's more blueberry muffin dog. It makes me think of... Straight up false advertising gross.

Right. This is a blueberry muffin Oreo and it is goddamn delicious. This is absolutely delicious. Like the cookie side of it is not the blueberry. So what is it? It's specifically Graham-flavored cookie with a blueberry-flavored inside. And I think that's why it makes you think of a blueberry muffin because of like the, usually like, you know, sometimes blue muffin have like nodules of crunchy goodness on top of a muffin. Yeah, yeah, the crunch on top.

Also, I definitely, by the way, everyone should Google this. This is so yummy. It's called blue waffle. And it's so, so delicious. I feel like you're a liar. Definitely image search it, ASAP. This is going to be like a lemon party. shaking his head. Adam is shaking his head going,

should I go? Adam is saying, no. Adam is saying, no, don't do it. I don't want you to go ahead. You already know what it is, but anyone else at home, check out a blue waffle. I mean, we have to look at it now. Yeah, I'm looking.

And also, if you want a citrus bliss, definitely lemon party.org is your place to go for all. No. Adam, don't look it up. Adam, do it. Stop. Adam, do it on the work computer. I don't want to do it on mine.

Don't do it. We got Adam to do it on the work computer. Now it's not gonna be in my history. Well, that's just a blue waffle. I know. I was getting actual blue waffles. That's just a blue waffle, Adam. It's a fake STD as what Google was telling me.

It's okay. Don't worry about it. Fake STD. Don't worry. By the way, how have you guys not heard of this? This is like the oldest internet thing. It's like Tub Girl. Oh, see, maybe.

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Uh. Yeah, he's still going. Stop.

Um, don't look it up. Don't look it up. That's a perfect segue. That's, believe it or not, is a perfect segue to my snack. Ew. No, Blue Tockeys. Which is Blue Tockeys.

Ah! And it looked like. SDDs. Oh my God. It's just like the blue waffle. Blue talkies. You're going to sing the song, Jackie? Yes. MJ's minute munchies. MJ they can snack. MJ's minute munchies. But is it blue enough for you?

Okay, so I've got the blue talkies. It looks more green. I continue my spicy chip experience. I've had red tachies before. I cannot for the life of me, Tell what's different. This is also described as a hot chili pepper chip. Maybe that doesn't have lime?

I don't really know. But I'm going to find out. I feel like I'm familiar enough with what a red tucky tastes like that I should be able to identify the difference. It's very blue for those who can't see. It's disturbingly blue. Oh, it's blue. Honestly, almost as blue as the waffle we were just looking at. But much more sad.

Yeah, right? It's catchy, isn't it? Oh, yeah. That was written in. Somebody told us we should do New York. minute with MJ's minute munchies. Just tastes like a talkie. I think if you're like to be and I had red and blue together, I don't know if I could tell

the difference. Really? Now, some food thing. Do you think that... Like purple ketchup, which I hated, by the way. Now, do you feel that it is just a way in which to get the blue all over your mouth and on your face?

Like, is that the reason for them? Like how they make like button batteries and like the tiny little batteries that are like really dangerous for toddlers, they make it so that if your toddler, eats it, it turns their saliva blue so that you can take them to the emergency room. Whoa, I wish everything you're not supposed to eat did that. I guess I'd find myself in trouble. Although, do you see from there, my tongue's already blue. From one Oreo, wow, there's a lot of blue food dye in these Oreos.

Yeah, I'm about to eat more of these blue tockis and then have a- Hell, yeah, you are. And, you know, we have discovered from the ice cream truck, if you get blue sprinkles at the ice cream truck, you will one to two days later think that you are dying of a liver disease, but it's just the food die coming out. Coming out.

As a sprinkle connoisseur, I understand. So yeah, I guess allegedly the blue just has a more subtle lime flavor. No, it sounds like they are I'm not the only one who thinks that they taste similar. Well, this, but this

how else were we supposed to know, guys? We're out here on the front lines. We're on the front lines. Doing the work. We're doing the research that you know that you can if you're kids or if you like regular talkies, then you might like the blue talkies. If you like them blue. If you want to

just expose your system to new dyes, get the blue. And get the blueberry muffin Oreos. Honestly, they're great. Yeah. Blueberry muffin. Probably the moon punch is my favorite of all the things here today. Really? Really. It's just a solid drink. I'm going to keep my eyes

out for you. It's a good solid roulette. I want to do pickle roulette. Start looking for them. to soccer practice right now. That's what Capri Sun just did to me. I want to like go, yeah. Also, I've seen the pickle roulette at like 7-Elevens and stuff, so I bet that it's something you can easily find in your neighborhood

NJ. It has been man, quite, like going on the hunt for snacks without using Target is a journey in and of itself. I know. It's so, it's, man, you really got to get out there. And

I have been spending maybe to much time doing it. I really wish Target would just have good policies again so that we got to be great. Because there's, I was go, I was trying to find a shirt for my kid to tie-dye going to every dollar store in Brooklyn so that I didn't have to go to Target. It's very frustrating. Very frustrating. But we're here supporting each other through it. And Holden, thank you. You're welcome. Thank you so much. Yeah. This was, you were very brave today and I do appreciate you. And I do want to see you be brave, you know. You're beautiful. No matter what everyone says. Wow. Are you singing that to me and MJ?

Sure. That's undoing the compliments you gave us earlier. Yeah. Yeah. You might have to give us more compliments. MJ, thank you so much. This has been a wonderful, wonderful day. And everyone, you can... Holden, where can we find you? Hold on a night or so on Twitch. Every Friday, Jack and I do a big party stream. Check me out on there. Nerd of mouth, please listen to it. LPN TV on YouTube, please subscribe to it. And also, just straight up, do not... I challenge... each and every one of you listening to not send either Jackie or MJ any kind of critical email this week.

No, you can. You can. If it's got a crazy week this week. She's doing a whole bunch of sad, you know what I mean? She's a sad woman. It's a sad week. So just don't, just wait. And I bet in a week or so from not writing the email, you'd be like, why would I write that stupid-ass email?

You know what I mean? I bet you're deep down you would actually realize there was no need. send the email in the first place. Or you'll be even more angry with yourself and you send one that's doubly as this. Crazy print up and insane. Yeah. It'll either get better or much worse. I challenge all, every one of you do not send an email to Jackie. You're here today this week. Thank you. And thank you Holden for being here. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. You can come hang out with MJ and I randomly, when we randomly pay, like, date everything on Twitch.tv slash, oh no, it's Jackie.

We pop up every once in a while. That's why you got to come and sub so that you can make sure that you know or at least follow so you know when we're going live because it's really whenever we can. And come check out. Dude, we just finished Anthony Bordane's Kitchen Confidential over in Celebrities over on the page 7 Patreon. We've got your Jackie's Book Club. Oh, thick into book two of Sookie Stackhouse. We've got celebrities where we did just read all of Anthony Bordane's Kitchen Confidential. and it's so fucking good.

Go check out the episode of celebrities on page 7 Patreon, MJ. That's patreon.com slash page 7 podcast. And as always, you can email us at page 7podcast at gmail.com. Yes. And yeah, it would be nice if it's not mean. But, you know, you got to do it. You got to do, I guess. Just like Holden said, take a minute and then maybe see how you feel.

But thank you guys so much for listening. Holden. Don't send it. Just don't do it. It's just stop. You have an email. And you know, if you have to bitch about something, if you do have to bitch about something,

who's the bitch.com. There you know. Send me in something to who's the bitch. com. Even if you're bitching about us, who's the bitch.com, send it in. You can email us. You can leave us a voicemail.

You can DM us over on Instagram at Who's the Bee. And go and follow on YouTube.com slash at Who's the Bee. So there you go. All right. There you go. Love you, Holden. Thank you, everybody. And we'll see you guys on.

We'll see you tomorrow for Second Helpings. Bye, everybody. Bye, everybody. This show was made. possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.