Page 7 - Stewing In Your Own Shame w/ Holden McNeely

Episode Date: October 8, 2026

This week on Page 7, we're joined by HoldKnife McNeely to discuss that new metaltoothed dog movie, Michael Douglas dropped his steamy memoir but don't you dare imply he's a sex addict! Alix Earle brags about being illiterate in a really, really weird interview that also asks her about pegging, Kelly Clarkson is making everyone's skin crawl off by joking ChatGPT is her lover, everyone's finding out that Rita Wilson has SIX STUDIO ALBUMS?!?!?! Jackie FINALLY confirms everyone's suspicions about the studio dookie smear bandit! Dakota Johnson and Anne Hathaway are chompin' at the bit for the film adaptation of the CoHo book, 'Verity'. Then we've got A LIST of 'Celebrity Prenups And Divorce Agreements With Terms So Wild, I Nearly Choked On My Bagel', and BLINDZ so secret we don't even have the answers to 2 out of the 3 yet! PLUS SO MUCH MOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Page 7, everybody. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. And I'm MJ. The story of the week is Michael Douglas' steamy memoir. But here in page 7, wake up, grab her, running away the shake off. Why are you going to leave it on a table? Have it another rated on a fail? You want to. Grab a brush and put her all the makeup. You ought to. I just got the afraid of the shakeup. You want to. Why do you leave the keys upon the table? You want to do. I don't think you trust in my zero.

That is suicide. Angels deserve to die. Welcome to page seven, everybody. I'm sorry. I introduced, I was going to introduce you as Holden McNeely Holden, but really here on this show, you're a hold knife now. Because MJ, you missed out on Jack Rock and Hold Knife, bringing it down on jacking. Oh, yeah, we had a new metal jacking on Friday.

And MJ, I think that I'm still torched up about it. Yeah, I didn't realize how much I needed it, MJ. How long has it been since you leaned fully and heavily into new metal? I am just so glad that you guys did not ask me to be a part of this one, because I have never, for a moment, leaned fully and heavily into new metal. And I say that without judgment. No, no, you should judge. No, you're judging.

You're judging. We know you're judging. Yeah, I think the men were probably pretty bad in that scene, MJ. I don't think they were the most respectful. Not all of that. Okay, because some of, like, sludge treated me right, okay? And there was something about sludge that when the meth hit him just right, I knew that he saw stars and good for him.

It's weird. He's the only guy I've ever met that could do math and it turns him into like more of a lover, you know? Yeah, yeah, you know, the range of human experience. I think that also like in high school, I think the part where I want to check my judgment is like, there was like kids in high school where I was like, you guys like skip school and smoke weed and listen to New Metal and I don't like that and now I'm like

I love that. I love this. You wanted to. Yeah, because you wanted to and thank you Holden so much for bringing it back around because this is some of a down really new. Yeah, whatever, Jack, you're an idiot. I see, all right, Holden is already upset. I'm just going to say this out the gate and I want everyone to

really get this into your brain space. Holden is already mad at me because I quote, like him too much today. I don't like him. Jack is being nice to him. I don't like a keeper. Jackie's being nice and holds it's very disoriented.

It doesn't like it. He doesn't like it. I said barely two words to you and that was too nice. Because Jackie, it's not about the size of the dog in the fight. You're right.

You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. It's about the size of the fight in the dog.

It's about the size of the fight and the dog. Wake up. Wake up. Yeah. But your dog and put it in the war now. Yeah, you got to take that dog and put it in a suit. Does that dog got metal teeth?

I think it should because we're going to send that dog to war. MJ, I over here in my AMC Stubbs crew, we have been making jokes about the movie. What is it called? I couldn't tell you. Part of the beast. The most generic, I love what you said. I can't wait for the boomers to die so that we stop getting movies like this because I genuinely agree with you.

Who are these movies for for those? I only watch movies about special. special black ops. I just want to watch. I only watch movies about coordinated assaults. Assaults and attacks. And that is, and we know that the war movies, they're not going anywhere.

We know they're not. More like snore movies. You're right, more like snore movies. Because there's movies like this, which is the new Brad Pitt movie. It's not even new. It's been out for weeks and nobody gives a fuck about it. Has it been out?

Oh, it's been out. Oh, it's been out. Oh, yeah. It's been out. It's been out. or at least I know Adam and I over at the Stubbs crew, we've been watching the trailer for Heart of the Beast for months. And it is about, it's a real life story about a man and his soldier dog.

With penalty. And don't get me wrong. I love a soldier dog. I like that, like, you have to respect them. I like that, like, you know, the bad cops that are mean to the dog cops, that they get in trouble because you have to respect the dogs and the dogs have to be a higher rank. A good soldier dog is a dead soldier dog. Don't you dare, Holden McNeely.

No. The dog is not dying at the end of this podcast, and you can look that up on a website because we don't know what happens to the dog in the movie. I'm assuming it lives because this is all like, the dog save the man, but did the man save the dog? And so it's all of this. I don't want to see a dog or a seed.

G. I feel like Brad Pitt just sounds like Forkskins, like life is like a box and he's all dirty, yeah, and he's just like, man, my dog, you never know what you're going to get. And it's like another dog, I think.

Did you get kicked in the head by a fucking mule? Yeah. Is that why you only like dogs now because you're scared of mules? I used to scare my kids and now they don't talk to me. And they all got rid of your last name. And maybe you should be thinking about that.

It's all I think about. It's all I think about when I see you guys. I think about too. Yeah, and of course he's making a movie with a dog because it's like, how could you be mad at me? I'm in a movie with a dog. Right. You know, it's very sympathetic.

And what human wants to look at him acting, I guess there are some people out there. I did want to say, I want to give a shout out to a person named Lude Friigno, which I just thought was such a funny username. Lude FriGno that said, Go see Heart of the Beast if you want to see Brad Pitt out-acted by a dog. And that's coming in from lewd for igno, so you know that these are the hot reviews

that we're looking for. But of course, that dog is out acting Brad Pitt because I do think that he thinks that he could just show up on a camera and be like, I'm kind of dirty in this scene. Give me an Oscar? Yeah, right. I mean, you know, he's Brad Pitt.

He's gonna be dining out on being Brad Pitt for a while. But the movies I see don't show the preview for Heart of the Beast so I haven't seen Heart of the Beast but it's like I'm looking at the picture the movie poster. Oh, you're not showing you before Forgotten Island or anything like that. They're not. That is what I saw. That is what I saw

this weekend. It was a lot of fun. But you just look at the movie poster for it and you're like, oh, I know exactly what happens in this movie. I don't need to see it. Right. No, it's different this time. MJ, it's different this time. You're never going to know what's going to happen in this movie. And then he goes to clown school and then you're shoving the dogs into

tiny cars. And they go, Hockey! Hockey! Now we're talking! Yeah, man. Shove him into little cars. I'll bet that dog dies, bro. Don't.

No, no, I bet the dog lives. I bet the guy dies. I hope. If someone spoil it for us, so I'm done, because I'm definitely not. Yeah, somebody spoil it. You know, I hope the man dies. Who sees these movies other than just the most annoying, the most, uh, no one else exists around me.

I'm the only person on the planet, Boomer. Which one is? I don't know. Jackie saw, Jackie saw, what is it by any means? necessary with Mark Wahlberg. By any means. Yeah, I did see By Any Means, which was the worst. Why any means? Oh, it was because the AC was out in the theater that I was supposed to go see a different movie in. And then last night, I was supposed to go see Digger, and it is over 100 degrees in L.A. And the AC wasn't working again. I got a life hack for y'all. A fan? A little life hack for you on 100 degree day in L.A. You know what? I did on Saturday. Saturday. You went ice skating? You went ice skating? That's right. I went ice skating.

Pictures aren't happened. I went ice skating. I don't know if they're pictures. You didn't take one picture of you going ice skating. I think I was afraid it happened. I was afraid of breaking my neck and every no way. You were like that. I can't believe you're also agreeing. MJ is not believing you. It's psychological abuse. Yeah. It's psychological warfare and it's abuse and MJ I thought I'm I know she's not but I thought you and Jay. You were better than this. And you're not. And you're not. I can see it. You're a worm and a slug is what you are. And I like worms and slugs and I'm not going to pour salt all over you, MJ.

And I'm going to go yum, yum, yum. It's a salty dish and pour that. Don't MJ. All every m. Slug away, MJ, slug. I have to like slowly inch away. Were you at like some sort of like big facility that had like indoor skydiving also? No.

It was a straight up it was called. I think it's called Ice Land. or something like that. Stupid. It's in our neighborhood. Better at branding. It's in the neighborhood. We had the whole rank to ourselves for a, uh,

Winnie's, because it's a heat wave. When he's friends birthday party. Perhaps it's not a great use of resources right now. It's a great time to go. We were wearing winter clothing on a hundred degree weather day inside ice skating. It was amazing. And I didn't fall and I was terrified.

But I got the hang of it after a while. Wow. And I'm desperate to get this fucking. whatever, this woman, let's just say. Me? Out on the ice. I want you out on the ice. You're never going to see it.

A hundred percent. No. Nothing. No, fucking no. I don't want to be on a blade. I don't want to be on a wheel. I don't want any of it. I want none of it.

I was on, I went out on ice once. And you will never see me out there again. Oh, but little Henry Thomas was out there on the ice. Wasn't he? My brother or the actor from E.T. I thought he played goalie. No, he didn't wear ice skates. He had steel-toed boots on out on the ice.

He had steel-toed boots on. He refused to skate. I've never, I know. And they didn't carry him out there. Don't move. We're not on skates. No, we don't get on blades. We do not get on wheels.

We do not glide. Azebrowski does not move easily. Every time I think I know everything about them, some crazy shit like that comes out. He wore boots. He wore boots on the ice and then he would get made fun of by other teams because you would wear boots on the ice. But Henry was on a team. Oh my God.

Filled with thick. They were young. Oh, yeah. But for me, I was also young. You were around. You were younger. And there were a bunch of thick old Greek boys and they hated when their little rotund goalkeeper would be made fun of. And then they'd just beat that they'd.

Off come the gloves. Off come the helmet. They're beating their shit out of the other team. And I'm just like, swing, swing. Look at my idiot brother. And look at those big, bad boys. Tell me more. Tell me more.

Did they give them a concussion? Yeah, they did. Yeah. And they took their sticks. You're not supposed to use their sticks. That's amazing. MJ, have you ice skated before, MJ? Because I feel like you would be a delight on the ice.

I have ice skated before. MJ, are you a delight on the ice? I'm not a delight on the ice. I'm anxious. I'm scared. My brother did hockey, but with blades. But, and then I... Okay. Okay.

He's like every person ever. Try to come at my brother. He should have been arrested. He should have been arrested for that. I can't believe he was on the team. If you don't want to wear the skates. He can't wear the skates. I've never heard of that before.

Steel-toed boots. That's so much. Listen, this is what we call an accommodation. And so I'm glad that Henry got an accommodation. But no, I, I, now I'm too afraid to do it. because I'm an adult and I'm wrecked with anxiety. And the last time, Gideon and I went ice skating with, like, a group of friends, like, but pre kids.

And it was, you know, we're all out there so fun. It was like McCarron by McCarron Park or whatever. Was it so fun? And a couple that was very obviously on their first date in front of us was like having a good time and flirting and stuff. And then like went down so hard that like they didn't like need a doctor. But like I was just like, oh, this. this date just got so ruined.

Was there blood? Was there like blood on the ice? No, there wasn't blood, but it was like, you know, we were like watching them very closely and we're like, are they going to come up and laugh and this is going to be a story they tell in the future? And it was not. She was mad. She was not having fun. She felt really hard on the ice and she didn't, it wasn't fun for her.

And so I just always think about that. Don't ice skate on dates one through five. Give yourself a treat and go to a little kid's birthday party. I'm screaming because they're all just falling down. Just falling down. But wait, as parents are you not allowed to go like, ha ha. I was laughing my ass. I think if they start crying and they're like terrified, you know, you've got to hide the giggles a little bit.

But even that was funny. You know, when he was killing it, Wendy was amazing. Of course she was. Of course. The last time I went with both of my kids. and it would be better now that they're older, but I went with both of them. Yeah, they have the-

And they had the braces, but I was the only parent there, so I had both of that. I was like, it was like I had two different walkers going at two different speeds, like pushing them each in their little, like it looks like an old person walker, but it's on the ice, and they, each kid had one. If you're old, and that's not fair.

They're like too short. They're like too short for you to use for me. So I was like, I would have loved one of those, but instead, yeah, I'm just raw dog in this thing. But, oh, and he, he, he, Don't say it when you're at a kid's birthday party. Don't say you're raw dog. And then I went home and I raw dog.

My wife. I don't think you did after the ice skating party. Did you really after all that holding intention? You were exhausted from being out on the ice. I have so many muscle groups and my inner thighs especially, just several muscle groups. I don't think you do. I do because they're sore today. But pictures or it's not real.

Well, fascinating how hateable Jackie can be. It's crazy. Oh, she started off liking you and now you hate her. Interesting. But Holden, when you got back from the children's birthday party, did you read any books?

Because I desperately want to talk about the fact that Alex Earle said, so boldly, like no shame in it. She just said, I've never read a book. And she said, maybe Dr. Seuss, maybe. I'm very happy to hate on this person so, so hard. Oh, yeah. And we're going to have to wait to continue

to make fun of her and how like she is like Leah Michelle after this ad. So do people watch the show because they like how mean Jackie is or is it like it's kind of one of those where they want to see the rise in the fall. Specifically I started the day, nice.

I was like this is going to be a nice show. Holden's coming on. Oh, whatever. I know what you were like. Jack Rock. Starbucks barista. Yeah. Give me, you know, four scoops of fucking scut milk. You don't even know.

man, you can't even come after me scut milk? Who are their name? What are their names? Tyler and Adida and they're really, really nice to me, okay? They always make sure that I got what I need and I appreciate. Thank you, Tyler and Adida for always making me smile.

I put in one of my favorite John Waters quotes in response to the Alex Earl story. I put it in the notes. If you go home with somebody and they don't have books, don't fuck them. Don't sleep with people who don't read. And John Waters, you're so correct because here's the thing.

Alex Earle is, you know, it's like she is a girl boss, right? She's got a reality now and she's like out there doing all of her girl bossing things. And it really is. At the end of the day, it's at this, in 2026, I don't know if that's a flex anymore. I feel like a lot of people aren't reading and I feel like it's not said in this way of like a, like, mic drop. It's more of like the saddest pathetic. and you're a loser. And even though you have all this money

and you're gorgeous and all this kind of shit, you're a fucking loser to me. And you don't read? I need you to go away with that. I need you to get out of my face with that because the ignorance is just so, the like smirking ignorance thing. And it is very like,

she's so proud. So obnoxious. That whole interview was so obnoxious. Like, have you ever tried packing? She was on dancing with the stars. She was on dancing with the stars last year and we really liked her. because she ended up being a very good dancer.

And she did this like, she did like a cute dance with her little sister. So when she's like, maybe Dr. Sous, I'm like thinking, don't wait. And I looked it up. She has three little sisters.

And two of them are like, you know, 10 or 12 or whatever. So like you've never read a book to your much younger siblings. You've, you can't. I know we're in a literacy crisis.

I know you grew up on TikTok and maybe you just never picked up a book. But like you, not even with young children in your life. for not reading a book? Yeah, I just like hate you. I like hate that you, you know what I mean? And it reminds, it was so funny because it reminds me

that recent interview too where it was like, what are your hobbies? I don't have any hobbies. Like with Justin Bieber's, Haley Bieber. Oh, yeah. I don't have any hobbies. I don't have any hobbies. I don't really do anything.

I'm cool because I have nothing. I'm nothing. And that's what's cool. It's like I want my idols to be well read and have hobbies. And I want the people we look up to our kids look up to. to, you know, have these kinds of things going on. I'd rather than... Yeah.

To not have hobbies and to not read books and to just scare your phone all day. Or like, do, you know, whatever you're doing, like, your fucking skin care routine. And, you know, and then you have a book in you about your stupid skin care routine. And I just... Right. Oh, yeah, but you don't have a book in you. That's a thing. Yeah.

That's the point of thing. She is going to have a book out, right? She's going to write a book. I'm sure, I'm sure she's going to do. Having read a book. Yeah, that Haley Bieber thing was so funny because they were like, after that interview came out and everyone was like trying to figure out like

what does Haley Bieber do? There was like other people like sources coming in being like, no, literally like she'll, I've seen her just like sit and stare into space. Yeah, what was that one person was like, I did an interview with Justin Bieber and she literally sat and just stared at the wall for the entire interview.

But then. And I want to blow my brains out. How do you feel though that there's also part of the conversation that it is possible that this was a viral strategy. Yeah, of course it is. And that pisses me, but that pisses me off. That's a stupid, that's horrible. Young people look up to you.

There's a fucking literacy crisis right now. The tone of the guy, too, and I know he's probably some well-known interview guy or whatever, because it's for like interview magazine, right, or something like that. The guy's tone pissed me off. He's just like, what are you like about peg? What were the other, God, there were so many questions.

God, I hate both of you so much. You're so vapid. And all you, yeah, and you're like the reason why people are stupid and obsessed just with vanity. Hi. Honestly, I just had it reminded me yesterday. Jeff and I were at CVS and I walked up to the counter. The young person behind the register, like barely registered my existence. And I was like, hi, how are you?

And she didn't say anything. And then, you know, you have to put in your number at CVS. And she just pointed at it and went, What is it? And he said, excuse me? Are you talking about the number? I would have been like, can you give me your phone?

Can you give me your smartphone right now? And she was like, okay. And I take it and I take a hammer and I fucking smash it. Because that's the problem with these people. They don't leave the house. They stare at their phone and their computer all day. And they don't know how to interact with human beings. And then they get reinforced by morons like Alex Earl going,

Like books? Never read a book. Never read a book. What is it? Like I'm not trying to glorify the past because many slash most of the things in the past were also bad. But at least there was an idea that role models for fucking children should say that books are good. Like the idea of this person that is like the idol for young girls right now. Like you are the influencer.

You are who like young kids with their phones want to be and you are just so proud. of your ignorance. It should be the opposite of it's like she should be out there like encouraging people to go find the band books that we are now experiencing all of the ridiculous amount of books that are on the band books library lists.

How about you encourage young people to go find those and read those and find out why is everybody so scared of us having like thinking about our rights or thinking about like history or thinking about like history or thinking about like How about like we go against the grain in that fashion that we could excite people about like, ooh, like that's, I mean, genuinely seeing this Alex Earle conversation does make me so sad that I feel like I'm desperately over here, like slamming my head against the wall, just being like, but if we could all read. But like guys, like thinking about what like thinking about what reading is done for us since the beginning of time.

Yeah. Honestly, it makes me retroactively not like her dancing because I have. I had friends who like went to conservatory, you know, to specialize in their art or whatever. And then I would like, I would say what I was learning in school about, you know, I don't know, Marxist or whatever. And they'd be like, well, and like, not that everybody learns the same things in college, but like I would talk about, and then I would talk about like basic history stuff I was learning and they wouldn't know. And I just remember being like, but how can you be an actor if you like have zero foundation for like whatever has happened in the world ever? and I just think how can you be a dancer if you're not interested in engaging

with anything deeper than a TikTok video? How do we access our artistic reserves? And then we wonder why these professional morons like Sidney and this person who just go, I don't know. And it's because they don't read. And if they did read, they know about a lot of issues happening right now that like if they had any amount of education,

they wouldn't just be cool with like their uncle wearing a fucking red hat to the family cookout or, you know, like, it's like just the willful ignorance is what so, what is holding so much of like this fucking country back. It's like crazy. And yeah, exactly the fact that, you know, yeah, people look up to you. Remember when I said that to Jackie? I was like, you know, when she's, I was like, people look up to you. You should stop smoking. You know what you mean? You know, you have a fucking responsibility. Although, honestly, I'd rather my celebrities smoke cigarettes. then say they don't read. Oh, yeah. They have a cigarette. So, yeah, if you go to somebody's place and they don't have any books, don't fuck them. And the last book I read, which I'm almost finished with,

is a book called Shock Value by John Waters. It's about his history of making trash cinema. I'm absolutely obsessed with it. And have a goddamn answer to that question if you are a fucking person, a human person, like being in... Or a monster.

Also, if you're a monster, thank you very much. I have an answer to that guy. Like, I just, someone just irks me so much. Well, I was just going to say, because I know we're shitting on young people right now. And so I just want to bring in someone in our age cohort to, because I do feel like this is kind of slightly connected, which is how Kelly Clarkson was talking about AI. Because I just feel like, I love, you know, we love her. I actually found this quote by way of being like, let's talk about Kelly Clarkson talking about how she learned golden because I loved it and she's so wonderful. But what she was talking about AI just makes no sense.

She was like, she literally said, when you see AI artists competing on a chart with humans, that and I have an issue. I think there should be a separate chart. And it's just like, have you thought about this for more than five seconds? Have you listened to what any artists are saying about this? Because you want to hold Billboard top 100 for songs created by AI? You know what I mean? It's just like think about it. Like what if we think about it for two more seconds before we speak about it?

You know, like what if we listen to any? that artists are saying about why AI is a threat, you know? And it's just like... And I see the sentiment. So in this interview, she does. She calls chat cheapy to her lover. Yes. And she talks about how she's using it, not for music,

she's using it in a way that takes work from a different type of artist. And that's okay. And that's fine. So she used it for like interior design and like... And you could take that, those jobs. It's not her jobs. Yeah. But then she's mad about it.

And this is what I hear from so many people. like, no, AI is a nightmare, but I do use it for this way that is for a job I don't personally respect. So I use it for that. I use it to tell me things that like people do get paid for to work on. But that's, it's just a lot of that kind of double standard stuff. But AI is so challenging to talk about because of this. Because like, I feel like everybody has their, like, there's, there's the people who are adamantly, fervently against AI. I don't use it for anything at all. I think as I hear those people, I think the loudest and I just

I'm just like, I don't know. I'm just not trying to live that life. But then there's people like Rita Wilson out here that are humanly writing six studio albums that she's a full one is listening to. I know it's so funny is I tried to pull up. I pulled up her Spotify and I looked

at like that. Six studio albums. I looked at the cover. I was like, I'm going to listen to some of this. And I pulled it up and I was so bored by the covers and the titles of the album and the titles of the songs that I didn't actually listen to any of it. I did the same thing. I did the same thing. I just something like, especially like I was hoping that I could find something like she did with Chet.

Like something where you're like, Rita, don't. Like I was really looking to see if there was something like that. But it is like, you know, that even the names of the albums, there's bigger picture, there's halfway to home. Rita was a, huh. now and forever. I got so confused when we were talking about because while I was looking into the chat story last week,

every article kept referring to her as like actress and songwriter. I was like, what? What? Excuse me? And then same thing, I was like, did she like do a bit with Chet? And then I was like six albums that no one, this was the first week I've ever heard anyone refer to Rita Wilson as a songwriter. I would, if I had like, if I was married to Tom Hanks

and had that money, I would be making, totally. I'd be cutting so many albums. I just, it's just that this year, she put out a song called Sound of a Woman, and I really wish myself,

I couldn't bring myself to me. Always talking, always. Like, you're just imagining, like, what if it's, what if it's, I'm a freak, yeah, and you know, and you want it bad, uh. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, so I guess it's better than, Oh, sorry, that's from The Weekends, the idol. The idol. And that's Lily Rose Depp. You see, she decided this really bad song. I think you're explaining this to MJ. I was there for the whole time that you guys were singing the song. Needed a little up on it. Oh, ew.

And so she had sex in the studio and added their sex poises. Oh, I know. She has a song out with Keith Urban. And maybe it really is because I am 100% obsessed with Nicole Kidman. I'm obsessed with the fucking Adela song. about Nicole Kidman, about how we all want to be Nicole, and we all just feel like Nicole. I'm in an Adela era hardcore right now.

But also, Rita Wilson put out a song called Crazy Love with Keith Urban, but I've been really enjoying this whole circuit with Nicole Kidman and how much she is alluding to the fact of like, I am moving on to bigger and better fucking things. And I am so happy for her because, ew, Keith Urban is so, disgusting. Totally. It was always a huge head scratcher for us that they were together.

And it was always such a, every time we think about Rita Wilson and Tom Hanks, we cheer and we cheer. And yeah, do I, do I, at first I was like, I don't know how to feel about her side projects. But then again, if I'm thinking about AI, I'm like, you know what? If you're a human being making art, I say golf. That's why I brought it up. I was like, these are, they're not great. I think there's just a lot of actors. I think there's a lot of actors that have like bad taste in music.

you know what I mean? I have bad days in music. I'm okay knowing that. Right. And it's just, it's fascinating how many actors we see that put out either this kind of like boring basic music or then there's like, I'm sorry Kevin Bacon, you're taking, you're taking errant strays here. But there's like the alt rock.

There's like the who's it with the, he almost died and he shoots errors. Jeremy Renner. Jeremy Renner, his alt rock album, a lot of them are putting out. All rock that it's just like, whatever. And then you've got like 30 seconds to Mars and, uh, yeah, I mean, yeah. And it's very just mundane rock and roll. You know, all, you know, well, it's usually comedians, like all comedians want to be musicians, but I think actors, too, they just want to be a rock.

Everybody wants to be a rock star. They want to be a rock star. But that's why, like, you know, Kelly Clarkson, you're out here. It really is so funny just to bring it back to that conversation of her really just being like, you know, chat, GPT is not all that bad. As long as you're not taking my specific job away. And that is for some of us, for a lot of us out here, we're losing jobs left and right. And I'm just so happy that at least audiobooks have not quite gotten to the place yet to properly do narrations because I keep hearing.

I listen to a lot of audiobooks. I also perform audiobooks. so I have a very high judgmental value of the audiobooks. I understand that it is a really great way for especially new artists, new authors, to be able to put out an audiobook of their works by just having an AI do it. It just, it is, can I just say now, it's not worth whatever time you're putting into it to have an AI do it. It's just not good. It doesn't sound good.

you're taking the humanity out of reading a story to someone. But please. Oh, do you have, oh, I can't believe, I can't believe a white man on the show. It's something to say for 20 seconds and he didn't just barrel right through what I had to fucking say. Please, I'm sorry, Cornell 7. Please step up to the plate. Jesus Christ, Cornell 7. Yeah, yeah, that's what I just called you.

I called you Cornell 7. I'll roll with whatever, dog. Please go ahead. Please, the floor is yours. Oh, you want to put me in the bedroom upstairs, holding. Oh, my God, dude. What is the, how do we feed this to an algorithm? How do we feed when you just said to an algorithm?

A.I could never replicate this conversation. I think that's why, that's why we, you know. I was saying I was going to make the joke, like, AI, I heard AI recently learned how to become an annoying shithead. So I'm worried about my job now as well. That's what you want. That's not what I was going to say. That's what me had to say.

No, that's not what I was going to. Me was going to say this. What were you going to say? Me's going to say this. What were you going to say? I was going to say a testament towards what you're arguing for. You know, the series I've been into that I think is now starting to, people are starting to turn on it and be like, it's for idiots. Dungeon Caller Carl.

I think a huge part of that book series success. Why are you turning on it now? You know, it's everything I like ever, you know what I mean? Because I have. Everything I like ever, everyone decides all at once. My husband's about to be done with the final book that's already out. He's ripped through those books so fast. I have heard so much about.

Oh, we're getting nose. We're getting no goods. Adam's so judgy, dude. Yeah, man. And by the way, because it takes one to see one. I watch him come out of the bathroom and a little bit of dribble of pee on his little pants. Yeah, but he's not leaving the shit all over the inside of the bowl the way you and I'm not going to call out the other person

who doesn't. Jake? No. Sina? No. You? No. Adam?

No. Henry? No. Wow. Let's just say maybe I could never. Can I say? There's a scrub brush in there and you could definitely easily get it off. But I will say, Holden.

Eddie was recently on a show. He was talking on brighter side. about how it makes him feel so good. You're right. Happy birthday, Eddie. He said he was on brighter side talking about how he loves leaving shit all over the inside of the toilet. And I had recently been complaining about it and I knew who it was so I wasn't going to name his name. And then he's the one that went on a show and talked about, oh, har, har, har, he's smoking on a cigar.

Yeah, leave the shit for everybody else. to deal with. And so yeah, I'm here calling him out. And if you want to leave a comment below, please leave a comment below. We're not dealing with this anymore, Holden. Jackie, rise up. Trying to call out somebody's creepy peepie stains, okay?

I'm talking about, I'm talking about spooky do-doos. I saw a travel of urine on that man's pants. He's getting up right now, trying to avoid it. He's got Dork's shorts on. I see nothing. He's showing us He's got nothing there. It's a dribble of urine. I see nothing, and you're going to have to wait to see nothing. No, I didn't even get to say what I was going to say.

Hold it. And now, thank you so much ad sponsor. You're allowed to say what you would like to say. So, Judge McAll right, I think a lot of people attribute the success of that book and book series to the guy that did the audiobook. And I want to call him out, and he actually got cast ad. Princess Donuts in the TV show. That dude, which I really wish I do in the name off the top of his head, but I don't

want you to Google it, Jackie. I just want to not give him credit. No credit where the credit is due, but everyone was so excited because Princess Donut, the voice was cast. And just in general, they love his voice work and it's so synonymous. Like, I've been reading it because I read fucking books, but the people who are, but it's also, I think, fine to listen to books. Jeff Hayes.

I think it's also great to listen to books, and that's also valid to, by the way. I was still reading books. It's still reading books. I was more just trying to do a call back to Alex Earl. Alex Earl. Yeah, a lot of people attribute the success of that book. So if you get just lifeless, shitty AI to read your book, like that is not going to be an option for you at all.

You need to get somebody who understands your work who gets in there that, you know, kind of makes it live and breathe even more. Yes, I'm currently working on this great book. Check it out called Time Jerk. I'm making the audiobook for it. It's like a B-Cy-Sy-Fi. smuddy book that is all over the place that I'm going to have so much fun with. But I know that like if you just feed it into the machine, it doesn't bring it to life.

And like, don't you write stories because you want your stories to come to life? That's what is breaking my brain about. But I also understand new authors have no capital to put into these things. And I understand that. Suit people hate us. Because they ain't us. They hate the fact that there's this group of people who has this talent that they have to work with in order to make the money they need to make. They have to work with them if they're working in entertainment.

And they loathe us and they have been desperately waiting for a moment to replace all of the annoying artsy people that they wish they could be. Remember musical theater kids? Oh, God, we all thought we could replace us. You know, I was the annoying one too. The Gaga's singing in singing at their lunch break or whatever. Shut up! I'm trying to eat my sandwich. They've been trying to get rid of us for a long time, but then...

That's what it is. They cannot wait. But this is why I will throw it out there. The millennials are prevailing because a lot of us out here, we're into our podcasts, we're into our audio books, we're into our audio smut. And yeah, I'm bringing up Jonathan Bailey as Dracula, reading the audio book for Dracula. And I got hit up by so many people. that were like,

and I was like, oh, I saw that he's doing the voice, because I am, I'm a huge supporter. They're not one of our sponsors, but I love Quinn. It is a really great audio erotica service that I have been desperately trying to become involved in so, so much. And they've been doing so many amazing collabs. And it's just this, this is with Audible, though.

And Jonathan Bailey is doing Dracula. and he's so sexy and the main reason why I'm even more excited and Holden, you're going to love this. The reason why I'm even more excited to bring it up is because Jonathan Bailey was really bringing back the idea of slutty little glasses. And Jeff is going to be a wizard for Halloween. Nice. So he got his own slutty little glasses and he got these slutty little wizard glasses. And I want to rip the wrong. right off of his body.

I like glasses. I didn't know. But also, hold it. I know that this is crazy, but I feel like for a lot of people out there, you're in long-term relationships. You know, it's like, oh, I don't really want to bring in costumes

and stuff like that to, like, sexy things up. Just throwing it out there. A wig can get you real far. A headpiece of any kind of sort can definitely, definitely get you far. But I think... I know a guy that used to walk around with just a bag full of wigs and he just jizzing them.

Yeah, I mean, if you're jizzing all over the wigs, that's one way to style them and then you don't have to buy any hair product. But he loved it. He said, I swear by this bag of wigs, I don't need a woman or a man or anything now. Those slutty little glasses, he had no idea that just the change of a shape because he's always had the same shape. I was bringing this up for you, Holden, because you kept the same shape of glasses. Don't talk about my sexy glasses, okay?

I don't need that from you. They're not sexy. I'm saying you could sex them up. Oh. I'm saying, you want him to get like, John. Letton, little John Lenin. Maybe you need tony, snutty little glasses, holding. Have you

thought about little tiniies? I thought... Honestly, I'm so gutted right now. He is like, what's funny is? What are you gutted about? Because I came in this morning, like, I had one of those where I left the apartment to drop one off and then come to the studio needing to take like a crazy... You're still thinking about

the shit in the toilet. I'm still still, even this morning, even this morning, I came in, I like ran, I like scampered into the studio and fucking rock like it was rocking. I was made, oh, you know what I mean? I did the noises and everything. It was like, you know, I even heard some people talking about.

Was there a ghost in the studio this morning? And I definitely left some crazy. Oh, so now you're thinking about it. On the bowl. You're in a guilt. So I just feel so rightfully called out. I've been doing it a lot. Well, listen, this is what we, you know, sometimes, you know, we, we want to

shipped from a call out culture to a call in culture so that people can learn and not get defensive. And so look, look at you listening and learning. Yeah, and that is... Can I just say, yeah, it was verbal abuse from her, but I got over that and used it as a learning moment even though she's still going to verbally abuse me. I'd love to hear about the plan of how you're going to fix

what you've done. You told me there was a scrub brush. I didn't even look around. I was aware of a... You didn't even think that like this toilet has to be clean, so I'm sure that there's a scrub brush. Well, I don't know what is... I know my own house has one.

You feel so bad about it that you had to, while I was getting horned up for my husband, you had to bring it back to the shit conversation. I'm sorry. I feel like I didn't give it its due and that it is something I need to work on. I think you gave it its due. But he definitely gave it as too.

That doesn't take away from the fact that Adam is a hater and has dribblets on him. You are so easy to just slough it off on somebody else. Sounds like that piss dribble didn't leave the shit stains all over the toilet. Yeah, that's a personal problem. Right, right. That's not a problem that hurts anybody else.

You know, we're talking about smuddiness and sexiness and books. And I don't even, we don't even have time to talk about Verity and the other Coho book, that the last Coho book got ruined by Justin Beltony and Blake Lively. And now Dakota Johnson is going to see what she can do to a Coho book. And at this point, again, just glad people are reading books. I've read that book and it's not very good, but it's going to be a fine movie. Is that author, okay.

Coho. They're fine. I was going to say, they're kind of just fine, right? They're fun, fine. They're the exact shit that I read. The housewife mysteries. What was that one you read, Holden, that was like, the husband is in the house.

I enjoyed it. Yes. No, I read the husband's secret. I can't remember. You read the husband's secret. God, it washed. It was like, it's like washed over me like an ocean wave on a beach vacation. Yeah.

Like it was just so in and out. I remember what it was she was British. It was about moms. And there was a secret with the moms. The mom with a secret. The husband has a secret. And that's how, that's the coho. The coho genre is just that.

It's just like, oh, there's Dakota Johnson has a secret. And Ann Hathaway has a secret. And Josh Hartnett has a secret. They all have secrets and they're all having sex and they're chewing on the wood. And Michael Schultor is the director. I said a double tape. I kind of, Michael Showalter is there, I kind of have a memory too that I connected with it a bit, especially out here in L.A. where you end up with like a group of people that are like rich and you're

fine, but like, you're like, oh, you're kind of going along with the rich people's plan. And then you're like, oh, I can't do this at all. Any of these things. I have to leave because I literally am not going to, you know, spin this money on this. Dakota Johnson and Anne Hathaway already have that about them. You know what I mean? Like, I feel like no matter what they're going to do, I'm not going to be able to do it. So if you guys want to both gnaw on the wood, like y'all gnaw on the wood, you get on in there. I feel like they have, like, Dakota Johnson, and I'm saying this that I really do feel like I'm falling in love with Dakota Johnson as a person, but never as an actress. Yeah, as like a poorly media trained person, right? She's perfect. I think that she's, I'm watching

her interviews. I'm kind of low-key becoming obsessed with her. She's so funny when people are asking her like, how do you look so good at your age? She's like, I sleep 12 hours a day and I don't have children. Yeah. And it's just like, yeah, that'll do it. Yeah, you're right. I mean, why pretend like, oh, I'm doing all. She sleeps 12 hours a day and she doesn't have children.

I won't say that. You do look great. You're also probably clinically depressed. Sure. You might need to look into that. Or you have some other thing that needs to be diagnosed. Like an iron deficiency or something. Like there's something wrong.

But she looks great, Holden. Sleeping, needing to sleep that much. Because, I mean, I can't even really be forced to sleep past 10 hours. Have you ever tried, though? Oh, I've definitely slept for me. You should say that to Lexi. Be like, I'm trying to see if I can sleep 12 hours a day. So this is an experiment.

Yeah, say that to her. And then you go to sleep. Yeah, yeah. I think that would be hilarious. Alarious? Yeah, hilarious, just like her. I really, I don't want to watch her in anything, though, Dakota Johnson. Right, right, because she's not interested in acting.

She's just interested in showing up and being hot, you know, and I say that with respect. The movies, most of the movies, maybe Verity's good, but like, like, I saw, like, kind of a multiple movies she's in picture, right? And, like, three fourth of them are notably bad movies. Like, it's like, yeah, like, famously bad. Madam Webb, she was so funny in Madam Webb, but, like, really not trying to be. Right, right. I mean, I laughed and I laughed, but, you know, guys, are we going to laugh and laugh all

the way through the list. Oh, who's on the list? Jackie! Got to have that celebrity pre-ups and divorce agreements with terms so wild. I nearly choked on my bagel. That's it. Yeah, but what it, see, this makes a lot of sense, and it is why I chose the list. Jessica Beale and Justin Timberlake's pre-up has never been publicly released, but Forbes

reported that it is said to include an infidelity clause requiring Timberlake's pre-up. to pay Beal at least 500K if he cheated. Beal and Timberlake remained married to this day and have two sons together. I feel that I would imagine, especially if you have kids, that there is an infidelity clause in the celebrity pre-up, right? I'm assuming. I find it fascinating that it is only one way. And that I find so fascinating about the celebrity pre-ups of like, so, you're going to

you're saying that, but Jessica Beale can do whatever she wants? Like, is that also like, does that mean she can get away with it? And that you assumed that she wouldn't. So there's no nup against you. Trust this extremely hot woman to never step out of the marriage because we do expect this dirty doggy to because we know what about him. That's what I'm saying. Like, I do think that's a little crazy where they're like, I mean, he's probably going to do it. So you probably want to make sure you get your money.

So that's just crazy to me. Wait, also, we, to go back to the Michael Douglas story. Which, I imagine we're going to get really into and second helpings. Because he was dropping some truths in that memoir. I thought it was crazy, though, talking about this infidelity stuff where, first of all, he's like, I don't have a sex addiction, but he was banging first the writer of romancing the stone. And then the lead. And then the lead. And I was thinking myself, that screenwriter must have been furious.

Like, you're banging, you're filling me. is she going to do about it? Like that's a thing. Think of Michael Douglas. Think of the situation. She's like, what is the screenplay? A screenplay writer going to do about it. He's a sneaky dog because he definitely was like, yeah, that's dirty. We were separated and we were both having infidelity's, but then she showed up and shut

my infidelity down, which leads me to think she wasn't having infidelities. She actually was not doing that at all. And you, my friend, were the only one having infidelity is because you are a sex addict and you're in denial about that. Yeah, he is not ready for the. press tour. He is so, he wrote a memoir about all the people he slept with and now he's like, why are you asking me about this? How dare you? It's crazy. I, but it does make me, we might need to read this one, MJ. I might need to read this one name. Never would have done. Hell of a ride.

Hell of a ride. Hell of all one word. It's such a bad title. I know. Very, hell of a ride. Well, this makes sense. Ariana Grande and real estate agent Dalton Gomez had a pre-up when they were married in 2021, and their divorce settlement included much more than a simple payout. And I'm looking forward to their next pre-down. People report it. No, that was, no, she's with Ricky now. This is Dalton. How dare. Oh, sorry. She's with Ricky the dancer. Dalton, the real estate agent apparently received Grande would pay Gomez a one-time tax-free, one-point-25 million payment. It was also revealed that there would be no future spousal support and that Grande would give him half of the net proceeds from the sale of their Los Angeles home and cover up to 25,000 of his

attorney fees. But the privacy terms were especially strict. Apparently, they reported that their settlement barred Gomez from giving interviews or helping create books, articles, programs, or other productions about Grande, and both parties agreed not to release private photos, recordings, or similar material from their relationship. So that is quite a, like, put, I don't want to say, do you expect the relationship to fall apart if you put all of these things in? Because I'm sure a lot of people that we believe in love here on page seven. But I, like, I remember having the NUP talk. Yeah.

Yeah. If it was up to me. I'll pay you a million dollars. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What were you going to say? When we get divorced. No, just like, I'll pay, when we get divorced, I'll pay you a million dollars. And you can never talk about it.

and you can never talk about me. Sure. Like, it's a good deal for Ariana. It's, and I, I would say it's a good deal for him. I would hope. Like, you hope that, like, oh, they just fell out of love with each other and that, like, it's just sad and that this is just a sad thing and that he's not sitting on a hot bed of information.

But I really don't feel that way about Ariana Grande. Don't get the, the evil vibe from her, per se. And we didn't do a, full disclosure, I guess, I didn't do a pre-nup, but I, I guess, I had full druthers on everything. I'd probably just be like, yeah, why not? I mean, why not just make it so soon? You nop up, right? But it's actually more based on how, it's like, yes,

that's the crazy trap of the marriage thing, right? It's like, but we're signing up for the rest of our lives. You don't believe in this pact we're making for the rest of our lives? The whole point is us to say for the rest of our lives, sickness and health, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But, you know, also, if you take a step back and go like, okay, the craziest shit goes down. You know what I mean? Your dead mother comes back to life and like fucks me in front of you or something.

You know what I mean? Something you just can never get to us. Whoa, wait. Would you leave your partner if their dead mother came back to life and had sex with you? I wouldn't be able to get over it check. I don't think there's enough therapy in this world that would get me past. I really don't want to have sex with my husband's dead mother. But I wouldn't take it out on them if it happened.

Right. It's not their fault. Lexi's not dead yet, but I'm just assuming, yeah, if Rita dug out herself out of the grave and she was looking so hot. She was looking good. She was looking good. She was dirty but good. She was looking good that day. Can I just say by the way, I feel bad now. I've literally never seen Adam with a dribble of piss on his pants. I've never seen it. Wow. I just just do it. I do it. I know you do it. I've seen your dribble and I call it out on Jacket. Look, I like to leave a little fucking note. You know what I didn't want to say. On my pants on the bowl. that I didn't believe you that Adam had a dribble of piss because I've never seen it. I've known Adam for 15 years.

I don't think I've ever seen. And I'm really looking. Like I always, I go, I go, I go, I go perspection, I say perspection and I look. And I've never seen during his prespections, like not once, have I seen a dribble. But by the way, and I am going to say this is a theory, so I don't think Adam can get upset with me about that.

Oh, it's a theory. It's a theory. It's a theory. But I do feel like a hypothesization that I have to keep a dribble from having his pants is when he's done pissing. He tucks his penis and balls between his legs and walks, like kind of walks. Oh, so he dries it off that way, like with the friction of his...

Into the kind of bottom of his underpants instead of the piss hitting the front. Oh, so not up. You don't flip it up. And by the way, this is a complete theory. I don't necessarily think it's true. Adam is going, yes, that's true. He's mouthed. Yes, that's true.

Wow, you got it. Now you got it. What the fuck are we just talking about? We were talking about the list. Okay, $1.25 million. is that's it. Think about how much money Ariana Grande has.

At least she's on taxed. Yeah, but and then I don't have to pay you anything for the whole rest of our lives. Why should you get anything? I mean, why does he get her fucking money? I mean, then you're, don't you, there's a part of it too of like, I mean, going through

the entire divorce is going to be expensive, right? Like she did, it seems like she paid money towards the attorney. But also, is there the section of it where it's like, it's the life I'm used to? You know, what is that? section of marriage where it's like,

but this is the life I'm used to. Hard knocks, dude. It's the fucking, like a Rolling Stone. Listen that Bob Dylan song. Sometimes shit happens. You've got to readjust and maybe it'll make you a better person in the end. Because you're not used to having five nannies. Five nannies from my fucking four kids, Kim Kardashian. The five nannies for the four kids.

But the point I was thinking before real quick is just that, you know, the divorce industry is just so insidious and awful that it's just not about breaking our promise to be together forever. It's like, look, it is a nightmare out there. If we don't go ahead and lock this in now, they're going to use, take advantage of our emotions. They're going to be like, you know, if you, the psychological pain of seeing him

just railing your dead mother. Man, I see him with him through it. Yeah. She went from Dalton Gomez to SpongeBob. I think he deserves more than $1.25 million just for getting cucked by SpongeBob. But I would argue that it was so embarrassing for her to fuck SpongeBob that he owes her money for how embarrassing that was that she ended up banging SpongeBob. Speaking of embarrassing, I really want these ladies that have these infidelity clauses to fuck over these men because also Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas have reportedly that they have they have a reported because we know, alleged that they have.

that they have a million dollar infidelity agreement, but it only is if Michael Douglas cheats. And this is again, Catherine Zana, get out there, girl. You can do whatever you want. If this never put that kind of thing in writing with me, like if it's like, oh, if he does it,

I'm going to go to town. Can I also throw this out there, though? This is the backfire on that. It makes it sexier to him. It makes it hotter to him, that he's risking that amount of money on some fire vagina did. Oh, a million dollars worth of sex. On some real, on some noise vagina, dog.

And not to be rude, but I think Jessica. This is a million dollar anal we're having right now. Ew, I don't like that. Jessica Biel and Catherine Zeta Jones are absolutely like punching above their, no, their men are punching above their weight class. Yes, they are. And hopefully they're not punching any of it. You know.

Beating their dicks off more like it. Because of the infidelity clauses. Yeah, yeah, sure. And think about their penises and what their penises have to go through, okay? Oh, my God. And how they have to beat them up. To see all those women and not be able to jizz in any of them

when you were literally apparently having sex with every person on the call sheet, like on. No, only the ones that matter the most. The rider and the lead. I already jumped from the lead to the jungle itself. Whoa. He started fucking the jungle. Romancing the jungle.

Yeah, he was banging the stone. He was actually having sex with the stone. How did he get it in there? I don't know. He's like, yeah, lubricant, a drill and lubricant. Well, and that is what keeps us there to stay. I feel like his dick is still in that stone

to this very day. And all I got to say about that is Army Hammer's father's chair. We think about it all the time. I bring it up. Yeah, they talk about pre-up. They needed a pre-nup with that chair. Yeah. Is that the end of your list?

Jackie. Finito. Okay. Well, thinking about Army Hammers, Dad's cheer always makes me lose my vision because of the horror and the shock of it. So I get it. I regret to report that I am going. Blind. Okay, you guys, since it's the three of us and we know each other and we can take risks, I am wondering how do you feel about two really good blinds, but they don't have the answer. We ourselves must speculate and conjure. Yeah? Holden, what do you think?

Jackie says yay and it's not a little decision. He's going to go. He's out. He's being silenced. He has left the building. He hates it. He hates it. Oh, God, he's shitting.

No, don't put any more BP on Adam. He's back. I know. This was his, this was his project and I'm taking it and I'm bastardizing it. Okay. Yeah, you're a bastardizing. I'm not jeopardizing in MJ.

Go on. Let's try it. But these are two good ones. Okay. So we're going to see where we land. There are two good ones hold in. So lock it. And I have others that do have the answers, but I wonder if we can solve these.

Our gal is, Gal is famous, famous, famous, famous. One of the biggest multifaceted stars in the universe. While she is a pro at managing her professional life, she is a hot mess when it comes to her personal life. She falls in and out of love at the drop of a hat. Her latest romance has raised some concerns among her inner circle because this guy is just a dud. Sure, she's previously dated beneath her, and by beneath we mean less successful.

But with her level of fame and fortune, that's to be expected. Not too many others have achieved what she has. Her latest guy is a sponge, parentheses broke, and her family fears she will do something spontaneous, and he lope without a pre-up. That's why they persuaded her longtime assistant to now, act as a spy and report everything back to them. They are prepared to do whatever it takes to make sure our gal doesn't marry this loser. So my one thought was actually a very Dakota fanning heavy show, but she...

Dakota Johnson. I know with her with MGK. With machine gun Kelly. But he's got money. He's not a sponge. And also I even have seen like, exactly. That's the one thing that kind of keeps me from that idea. But yeah, there's been a lot of like articles like,

Dakota's, you know, inner circle is very upset about... Very upset about MGK. Yeah. But yes, there has been blinds about that. But we're talking one of the biggest multifaceted stars in the universe. That's why I'm thinking like a... I mean, I was going to say Nicole Kidman, but I don't know if that's just up...

She's just up there for me. Multi-faceted, though? I mean, I guess she can sing. Angelina Jolie. God, she's been so not around, though, like at all. But she's been, like, producing and directing and doing other stuff. She's like zealist. How dare you?

I was thinking Miley. Oh my god. Oh, she can't marry that guy. It's totally that guy. She can't marry that guy. Because he's a total spun. And he's got it like little. It's just apparently loves like the fame thing.

He just like loves it. You can tell. It's just everything about like he just wants to be a little rat boy that gets taken care of in his little hole. And she's just worth so much more than that. He is the, what's his name from Secret Lives of Mormon Wives? Who's the brother? Mason.

He's the, he's the Mason to Miley's Layla. He's just like, he is the Mason. I don't have any money. Yeah, I was thinking it was Miley. This is a fun game. Who's the biggest sponge of the network? Ooh. I'm going to say it's probably the dribble in Adams Peepee because it is just trying to

make. The pants is the spous. Yes, you're right, the pants is the sponge. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. of absorbing to do. But again, I think it's the bottom of his boxers. If you think about the way, obviously like a not hard,

I mean, it would be crazy if this guy is getting erect while he's taking a piss. We can't speak towards that, though. But as soon as he's not becoming. That's where it becomes workplace harassment. Right, right. This is where it becomes workplace. Only then. Yeah, yeah.

But not yet. Yeah. Anyways, if you're taking it. And we're not talking about Adam right now. I'm talking about just. We're talking about Miley. We're talking about me. I'm talking about my penis.

Yeah. If you take us my soft penis and. he dribbles everywhere and shove it between my legs I think you would reach a point where it would kind of just hit like almost like I don't know what you call the taint area of the boxer but yeah

I think it would go there so you're saying that he doesn't do that with his penis no I'm just using my body as an example your body is a wonderland yeah no your body's not a cage I think it is an example let's okay I think it's my

I'm number two right right I agree I think we can consider that one solved that it's Miley. This celebrity couple, they're both famous, but the husband is much more so than the wife. Okay. They have had one of the ugliest splits Hollywood has ever seen. They're still together. The dust finally settled, and it's been a hot minute since the headlines have died. It's been a hot minute since the headlines have died down, but buckle up because it's about to get even nastier.

The tides of fortune have changed, and now the former wife is. making more money than the ex-husband. Her career has improved since the split while his is in the toilet. They recently went to private mediation to renegotiate their divorce and this time the hubby is asking for spousal support. Both have an arsenal of dirt on each other.

See what I'm saying? Divorce is a fucking nightmare. Like, could you imagine? And unless a new settlement can be somehow reached, it looks like these two are hell-bent on destroying each other. And I will say too, I really hate the concept like, um, well, I'm used to getting like this whole like Botox treatment every other week that

cost thousands of dollars. And that's just what I'm used to. And just because like we don't love each other anymore, doesn't mean that I should not get that treatment. I'd push for the treatment. Are you kidding me? I dare say you divorcing me is making me need even more Botox. And so you should actually pay even more.

If I had a pre-ed up, I would ask for even more. Like I would have a plastic surgery clause so that I could go and change. whatever I wanted to so I could pretend you never existed. And that's what he would pay for. I got $1 million to divorce you and $1 million to change my face after you divorce me. I'm used to going to this like bounceatorium every Friday and I need that and he has to pay

you know she has to pay for it. Let me have to have it. Yeah let me advocate for you. Yeah yeah. So can we make that happen? We got to solve this mystery. We got to solve this mystery. You know it's funny. I was going to say Tom Segura and Christina Pizinski but They've been divorced. I think these people you're describing longer than Tom and Christina.

And I was going to say Katie Perry and Orlando Bloom, but I don't think Katie Perry's star is really rising, but I don't think his is either. I think she was actually a bigger star when they got together, and she still is technically a bigger star. Bigger star, even though Lego is forever. And I was going to say Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban, but Keith, but the husband,

Keith of him was never more famous than him, right? And her star is rising. and his is falling, but she was always higher status than him. This also sounds too fresh. Have they even finalized their divorce? We're talking about a divorce that was finalized a while back, and now things are changing. It says the dust has settled. It's been a hot minute since the headlines have died down.

I don't think it's not saying it again. He said it again, though. All right. So is this a huge, is this a, a, a, a, Benerfer situation? Are we talking Ben and J-Lo situation? Could be a celebrity couple. They're both famous, but the husband much more so than the wife. Ugliest splits.

the dust is settled. Her star has never above his. Her star In fact if anything it got lower it got lower and then his

kind of middlingly got higher so maybe not stayed his is just kind of stayed so what are the big divorces have we seen that we watch get really ugly that both of them were huge

where the husband started off more famous and now the wife is more famous I know I'm like who are some recent celebrity divorce? I'm still married to my wife And this See in that, no

Because yeah And then oh No Jason and Tuddy Malin Kim and Kanye Well actually That's I mean she

Her star is definitely Risen way above his And I would say his Was above hers When they got together His has Wait I'm sorry Who has risen

I think she has She has come Kim has risen Kim will come again Does that match I'm getting confused now. Is it that the woman's star rose over the man's? They're both famous, but the husband much more so than the wife.

That would be Kanye starting at the beginning. Ugliest splits Hollywood has seen. The dust has settled. Now her star's, her career has improved. His is in the toilet. And they both have enough dirt on each other to ruin each other. I think you're right. I think it's Kim and Kanye.

Yeah, I think it is Kim and Kanye. Because I was about for half a second to be Jenna Dewan and Channing Tatum. But I think it's just because we're watching Jenna Dewan and Dancing of the stars. And so I don't think that that means one star is rising. Yeah, I think they matter not. Oh, she's not dancing with the stars now. So this is huge. I don't know if you heard me say Jason Biggs and Jenny Malin, but I am embarrassed that I even brought them in and I'm going to take it back. Ew. Real quick before we get whatever. Who were you writing for this season? Dancing with the stars? Man, I, Ezra. Ezra. Ezra. Not a

Paralympic star. Is that, is that their, is that his name? Nope, that's the professional. Ezra Freck is the non-professional. Right, right. He's a Paralympic athlete. Miller. Better than Ezra.

Better than Ezra the band. Yeah, because everyone was thinking about that band. The band. I think that we're pro. This is Spinn Doctors, but if you want to something, something. Anyways, that's Spind Doctors. I also, Giermo is the hard to show. I said, what about breakfast that Tiffany's?

Is that them? I know. I think that was Deep Blue something. And I know everyone here is missing out on our Dancing with the Stars content. But don't worry, MJ and I have decided to start doing our hot reaction takes right after watching the show every week that we're going to start posting up on the page 7 LPN over on the Instagram and wherever you get your content. We're going to be having more fun content coming out also.

Oh my God, so huge too. MJ started their own MJ's cozy detective book club and it dropped this Monday. Go check it out. MJ, people are losing their minds for your cozy book club, by the way. I'm so glad. I was so, I was like everyone's going to hate me and love Jackie and everyone's being very nice. And that's not the case. And people were done with smut and they wanted a little bit of something different.

And we listened and we gave it you because in my brain, I'm never done with smut. and I don't understand it. I'm like, but there's no sex in it. I mean, how many, even the times I've done the readings for romance, I'm like, how many ways can we describe eating a pussy out? Oh, many ways. It's wild. I know there's many ways.

Many ways. Better than Ezra's hit was good, by the way. I don't know if you guys look good. He ate it like a burger. He ate it like a burger. That's not what they're saying in it. Did, I went to burger she wreck recently. they opened up a spot in our area.

Oh, it's fucking so good. Blind number three. Oh, there's a third. I thought you were just third two. You said there were two. Sorry, I just, I wasn't sure how long it would take, but I think we did good. Do you guys want a third?

Yeah, really full. Then we've got to get out of him. Invite a third in the relationship. The towering foreign born actor, best known as a dancing clown, has had relationship woes since he was caught with weed at the airport coming back to his home country.

People seem to believe the partner has always wished she was with the older brother anyway. Dancing clown, Justin Bieber? No. Older brother, dancing clown. Hot family full of hot, tall people. And his wife wants to be with, yes. Which one? Bill's wife wants to be with Alex, allegedly.

Bill's house. Is that Bill's house? He wants to be in Alex's house? Yes. Everybody. Oh, my God. Guys, are we counting down the seconds to Wicker? Guys, are we counting down the seconds to Wicker?

It's going to be out in a couple of weeks. I'm so excited. Nobody wants to see it with me. Nobody wants to talk about it with me. Nobody else cares, but I care. And if you care too, let me know. But are we can see again? We can see again.

I just, you know, anybody with eyes wants to be with Alex, even if you're married to Bill. So, yes, my eyes is back. I'd be with any of them. Are you kidding me? Give me Stellan. I'll take any of them. Like, get me into that family.

I don't require. No, I'll smell him. Oh, I'll smell him no matter how covered in muck he is with your dune, Dune time. Stelan Scarsguard. Yeah, yeah. And look at me knowing Dune over here. And look at you over there, leaving do

in every toilet you find. Thank you so much. I don't love that these sorts of notes, these sorts of studio notes have to come in the form of content. You brought it up first. I want everyone to know you brought it up

first. Did I bring up leaving shit stays? Yes, you did. And then, and then Jackie called out the birthday boy. Eddie. Yeah, it's Ed's birthday and everything. So we blamed Eddie. You immediately blamed Adam.

Right, which I can't want to apologize for. I've never seen the dribble it on the guy. He's actually very weirdly dry. Very dry. Yeah. Kind of thing going on. It's an Wisconsin dry man. But thank you so much, Holden,

for coming on the episode, regardless of whether people wanted you on or not. But don't worry, if you're scared of Holden's mouth and you're scared of the sounds it could make while it's eating the snackies, you guys, we are lifting Jackie Snackies up out of the show for it to fly, fly, fly away into online content.

For you see, you will still be able to get your snackies, but they will all be on your socials because we've heard the misophonyacs out there. We hear you, we hear your cries, and I just love the snacks, and I got to keep getting into them. So if you want to see what disgusting thing I brought for Holden to eat today, You should come check it out. We're going to be popping it up on our socials over on Instagram at page 7 LPN.

We're going to have it up on our YouTube shorts over on YouTube.com slash page 7 pod. So check that out. It's going to be social only content. I know you're like, I don't go over to those places, but maybe it's time to start. There's so much stuff over there. And we're just going to keep adding more. So get on over yon. And my name is Jackie Zabrowski.

You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. Holden, where can we find you specifically? It's your boy. Check me out. Twitch.combe forward slash Holdenators Ho. Jackie and I streaming every Friday. Having a blast over there doing a lot of fun theme nights and stuff like that. Having guests, cranking it up.

Oh, yeah. Friday, we've got a goosebumps theme. Oh. And if it gives you goosebumps or if it's, whether it's sexy or scary. I keep saying people are going to be confused thinking it's just the book series, goosebumps. Just the R.L. Stein series. But it's not. It gives you goosebumps.

because sometimes So it can be sex We come up with the themes When we're very drunk On Jack and MJ And I am really sticking With the idea of goosebumps So that is what I'd like to celebrate

On Friday And then check out LPN TV On YouTube Check out our recent Bloodbath 77 series So much good video content Please go to YouTube To find page 7

LP and Romancey Foreign Report Fraud I mean, these are all channels to subscribe to and keep abreast of, and I'm leaving so many out. Definitely remember to subscribe to page seven pod too. We need you guys to get those numbers up so that we can get all of the content into your holes.

And I think that's it. I don't know, I'm sure there's other thing. Nerd of mouth, you know, check me out on that. And MJ. You can email us, page seven podcast at gmail.com. We love hearing from you guys. We are so thankful for you. And Holden, we are the most,

thankful for you. Thank you for coming. Come back soon. Well, some of us are. Thank you. Yummy little naughtyies. Bye, everybody. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.