Page 7 - Sucrose Ecstasy w/ Jake Young

Episode Date: November 6, 2025

This week on Page 7, Jackie and MJ are joined by Jake Young of Nerd of Mouth, as MJ drops a Thanksgiving bombshell after 15 YEARS WITH JACKIE! Another story proves that David Harbour is just noooo good, then some Halloween costume chat including Jake and Marie's costume that only Henry and Geoff knew, and Jackie's already started gettin' in her reps at the turkey gym. People Magazine has crowned Jonathan Bailey as the sexiest man alive of 2025, Ariana Grande traded in Spongebob for a hunter and may be using her homewrecker powers FOR GOOD! Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo are starting to sync up like Extreme Sisters, and KATSEYE went as Many Mariahs for Halloween, next we got a list of 14 times celebs were VERY confidently wrong about basic facts, then we got some SPICY blindz! Jackie's Snackies starts 'round 1:11:11.031 with MJ's Minute Munchies 'round 1:17:07.043, plus a special Jake Liquid Beverage Time Moment that runs until 1:27:56.976. All that and more on this week's Page 7!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

has ended and even though Mariah Carey tells us it's time for something else, I beg to differ. I will also remind you as I do every year that the sentiments of this song are not sentiments from page seven. Eat us. Hey, it's Thanksgiving Day. Eat us. We make a nice buffet. We lost the race with Farmer Ed. So eat us because we're good and dead. White men. from east of our south. Jump off my legs and put them in your mouth. Eat me.

Sautea-bri-a-bri-kude. Eat me. We want to pets, but now we're food. We won't stay fresh for very long. So eat us before we finish this song. So eat us before we finish this song. It's turkey time. Thank you.

Wait, where is that from? Adam's Family Values. Oh. Oh, okay. When they do the Thanksgiving parade and the Thanksgiving show during the summer camp for some reason. No, it's so that they could separate the cool blonde kids from the stupid goth nerds. Yes. They implicitly advocate.

And the sexy Bernard the elves. Yes. Wait, Bernard the elf is in Adam's family values? MJ, I'm about to explode into a hundred million thousand pieces. Oh, so is everyone who. listen to page seven who thirsts for Bernard the elf because I heard from all of them last year because we were talking about Bernard the elf and everyone was like, how can you not thirst for Bernard the elf? So come at me, Bernard stands. I didn't, I've never seen Adam's family values,

okay? I'm going to say it. What the fuck? That's broken about this day. MJ, how many years have I sang this song to you? And you've never told me that you never saw Adam's family values. It's got to be 15. years. I know. I know. I've been sitting on. You know what happens usually. Usually you would hold and just start talking about it and I've been able to avoid weighing it. Which is a good strategy. If you haven't seen a movie, just let the other people talk and hope that no one asks you if you've seen it. You're, I, I, I just can I, could I implore you for this Thanksgiving season to check it out?

I know that some people are like, but it's a summer camp movie, but it is a Thanksgiving movie. It is a Thanksgiving movie. They do the Thanksgiving play. At the summer camp, it is a Thanksgiving movie. Yeah, I actually did make this note to myself last year, like, watch it with the kids because we watched some. We haven't watched any of the, like, real Adam Samily movies, but there was like an animated one that they did. Oh, yeah, not that long ago. Yeah, with Oscar Isaac.

Oh, I didn't watch that one. I was like, am I crazy? Did that happen? Yeah, that did happen. When you got blown out the water by Hotel Transylac. Vannia 3. You know you fucked up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the Holtage Getsalady movies are pretty good.

Even the one when they're on the boat, MJ. Even the one with they're on the boat. We skipped that one. But there's a... Is that like the road chip? Like the Alvin and the chipmunks sequel? No, no, no. It's on a cruise ship. And then it ends with them doing like the macarena against an old robot man.

Yeah. I do know the sea. your talk about so maybe we didn't skip it. Maybe I've seen it. Wow. But you are certainly sleeping on Adam's family values. I don't know if it will scare the kids, though. I don't know if they're at a place. I remember specifically last year we tried to show Winnie Adams family values and because

she was starting to like chiller, because I thought she was a chiller four-year-old. I was like, I thought you could handle this shit, but I guess you can't. Because there's something about a disembodied hand that I guess is scary to a four-year-old. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's fair. I, it's also, like, we are realizing now as parents, because, you know, most parents, it's their first time being at whatever stage your kids are at, um, and so, like, I, for a while thought I had real chill kids because they watched the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy with Gideon and weren't scared at all. Awesome. And it turns out, I think they were just too young to understand. the various beheadings they were watching, you know? And so now I think that they wouldn't, they would not like it.

And so now we're just starting to get to the, like, like I always showed them the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown. And I've always been so proud of myself because I'm like, yeah, I'm going to expose you to a time when media was harder. And all the kids called each other awful names all the time. Yeah, where children could go and sleep in a field and their parents don't give a shit about them. You get called into the principal's office the next day.

They're like, your child called another child to, blockhead and I think we really need to talk about. The MVP line of any Peanuts movie it's not the Great Pumpkin. It is the Christmas one but it's when Violet says, boy are you stupid Charlie Brown. That's my favorite. But we did watch

Great Pumpkin this year, Halloween night. That is our I used to come back home after trick or treating and watch Treyhouse of Horror this year. They were not, they were like not, again, I thought chill. My kids are so cool. They like the Simpsons, I think they just didn't quite understand it. And now they're like, it's a little weird and scary. So, okay, we'll do great pumpkin. But then they were like, this was the first year, they were like, why is everyone just so mean?

I think that this is just what life used to be like. It's also what youth is. Get used to it, okay? It's going to come to you at some point right now. You're just too little. You're either a Charlie Brown or a Lucy, and you better pick one. Pick aside, bitches. Yeah, I mean, Charlie's trying to comfort lines.

And he says, it's okay, Linus. I've done a lot of stupid things in my life, too. You know, we just don't talk to each other this way anymore. And obviously, that's for the best. But I do feel the drive to expose my children to it. I do love that Charles Schultz really wanted to show how dark and sad children can be. A hundred percent. I was a dark and sad child as well. And I think that that's why I always, you know, especially the books of Charlie Brown. I think I liked it. I wasn't, I wasn't really like a joyful kid necessarily. I was always worried. Yeah. No. I've been worried since I left my mother's womb.

Peanuts is about childhood depression. Yeah. And I like it. I say we get more of it. Is that happening in them Hotel Transylvanus? Or the kids crying themselves to sleep? That's what I think is scary. Reality is scary.

If Peanuts is about childhood depression, and Calvin and Hobbs was about ADHD. Garfield must be about us. Just being cool. Yep, I think it's about us. Yeah, I think that's why we love Garfield so much. Because, I mean, this is the night. This is the night.

You know the Garfield Halloween special? It's about addiction. You're right. It's about the male... It's about the male loneliness epidemic. Yeah, think about the pirates that are out there, the spirits of the pirates. that are out there alone.

And what happened to them? Well, now they're haunting everybody because they lived alone and they died alone like everybody else. Wait, why are you, are there pirates in Garfield? Yeah, and the Garfield, the Halloween special. Oh, the Halloween. Bust that one out next year. It'll be a hit. It might be too creepy for the kids.

I don't know when he dug it this year, but I feel like the pirate part of it did creep me out when I was a kid. Okay. Because you just spent a lot of time on the high seas. Yeah. Well, obviously. And it was a danger that you really... It was more the ecto cooler high seas than anything.

Can you imagine me on a boat? Ah, to be like a cat. Ah, get me off the boat. Guys, this is my favorite pop culture news show. Yeah, we get in there. All right. We're over here talking about how strange the things are on the sets, you know, and what they're all going through.

and, you know, just David Harbour is just no good. He's just no good. Bad, bad every day, a new story about how bad he is. And, yeah, we're with it. Yeah, and we're also, yeah, we're thinking about Heidi Klum. We're thinking about Heidi Klum as Medusa, which is, I need to say it. I have always wanted to go as a Medusa for Halloween. I love that she did the Medusa with the Medusa.

with the man turned into stone next to her. Not seal husband. Oh my God, talk about big dream. Not seal husband. Yes, that's what they all call him that. Who is not seal? Here at page 7, MJ and I are always quoting Muppet Christmas Carol. I don't know if you're used to that, Jake, but yeah, you think there's no pop culture over here?

How about a little 1995's Muppet Christmas Carol? Except I think it's earlier than that. I don't even know what year it was made, MJ. It was earlier. It was earlier. How do you feel about Halloween, Jake? You had a great costume. Oh, thank you.

I didn't get it at first, but Jeff did. But Jeff did. Jeff got it. Jeff's a different beast. Jeff is a CEO husband. Yes, he's got tism. Is that what you mean? Is that what you're saying?

Jeff got it and Henry got it because I was dressed as the 1940s nuclear disastrous experiment, the Demon Corps. And Marie was dressed as a mushroom cloud. It was a wonderful partner's costume. I loved it. It was so funny. I had like a big metal ball on my chest and a screwdriver sticking out of it and I had like demon horns and a tail. You looked great.

Thank you. This is really like the I hate gay Halloween, but it's like I guess I hate nerd Halloween. What do you mean? You're dressed at the 1946 nuclear disaster. The demon. I love it so much. You look so great, though. Now, is Halloween your time to shine?

What's your holiday? Ooh, I would have to say Thanksgiving, but that's because I actually enjoy my family and stuffing. I never get to eat stuffing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe my favorite food in the way. It's just wet, wet bread. Yes.

Oh, you damn right. It is honestly, I just made my first turkey of the year, and it ate, oh, God. You know, I just, every year, every single year, when people are like, why do you like turkey so much? It's so dry. It's like, you're just not making it right, y'all. You're not making it right. Because if you put in the bird, it sucks all over. Overecooked.

You know, Sherpa Cass is a Sherpa in many ways. And one of those ways is in turkey preparation. She is the one that really encouraged me to use buttered cheesecloth on the outside to be. Only for the day of the big day do I do the injections of, the butter into the turkey. I don't do that on a regular weeknight turkey. All these people come planning about their turkey being too dry aren't doing practice turkeys every week like Jackie and.

You're not playing the hours in at the turkey gym. No, you've got to work this out. This is not something you don't just show up knowing how to do it. This is large format meat we're talking about here. This is like welcome gladwell's 10,000 hours but for turkey preparation. Yes. And it's just, oh my God, it's so juicy. that even the white meat,

Jeff is more of the dark meat. I eat the white meat. The Jeff will eat some of the white meat because it's so juicy. And I'm sorry, I'll stop talking about turkeys. So Thanksgiving's your holiday. I got to say Halloween gives me a little bit of anxiety. A, very scary. Yes.

Very spooky. And B, I'm a larger guy and I'm not particularly crafty. So, like, if a costume is in play, you have to do that weird, like, kind of like, okay, am I spending the next week of my life? Working on this? working on this, is it going to be simple enough? Like, I can't, it's very hard to get something off the shelf.

Like, if I, if I'm with a partner, like, I can't just clock out put on, what they call those, a Kigaroomi, those just big coveralls. Yeah. And just be like, I'm a, I'm a cow or something. Like, it doesn't. So, like, you got a plan. All of this just adds to the social anxiety. I just, I have, I traumatized myself.

Ooh. Where I was invited last minute to a Halloween party in college. Okay. And I was not particularly a social butterfly in college. And I didn't know what to do. It was like last minute. I didn't have a costume. And so I had a piece of green poster board.

Okay. And I cut it into a letter T. And then I just had it. I then staple tea bags to it. I mean, that's great. You're green tea. I think that's great. No.

That's fine. No. It was a fucky party. You were supposed to, like, slut it out. You were supposed to, like... You didn't get banged off of green tea. I feel like that is... That is, I feel, it is enough effort that I feel like you should at least get a little bit of play because of that.

Yeah, you should. And also, Solidarity, Jake. I've never once been sexy on Halloween, okay? I'm not saying that that's what you just said, but it is what I just said. I've never... I mean, I've been sexy on Halloween, but never intentionally. Never has, like, an active choice. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Can't very hard to go to a, a fucky party. Although I did manage, my first Halloween in college, I went dressed as my friend guy who had like a very signature, like recognizable style on campus. And so it was a decent costume because everybody kind of knew what guy looked like. And also, as I have disclosed on the show before, what I realize now is that before I came out, Halloween was just an opportunity to dress as a man every year. So I always did. So I dressed as guy. And I did hook up with a guy that night. So I feel like it was, you know.

Wait, do you look up with a guy or the guy? No, not, not that guy. Oh, my God. I was a guy. And here comes young men, Jay, rhyme on their life. And they're dressed like you and you're like, finally, the perfect part.

Yes. I was just my bestie. I was literally wearing all of his clothes. But then I did, yeah, I did. So it was, it was, what I'm saying is it wasn't a sexy costume, but it worked for me. And your green tea bag should, have worked for you. It should have. Because I tell you, you staple a tea bag onto Jonathan Bailey,

and everybody would have been sucking that dick. Oh yeah. We got to good. Sorry, I, we didn't even, this came out this morning, Jake, huge news. I know that you've been waiting with bated breath. Jonathan Bailey is the sexiest man alive for 2020. Oh, look it up. Go ahead. Look him up. Bridgeton. He's in Wicked, Jake. Oh, he's Fierro? He's Fierro, yeah. He's Fierro. He's definitely not SpongeBob. No, he's not. No, he's not. America has spoken and they're ready for the Bachach. They're not ready for the Bachok. He went, oh, he clawed his way back to his wife, as you fucking should have. But apparently, I don't know, Ariana is in the middle of doing something else, which I mean, we're talking about Jonathan Bailey right.

now, but I mean, full confession. Ariana Grande right now, everybody is saying that there's word on the street, that she has been stepping out and around with Aaron Taylor

Johnson. I don't know who this is. He's been in a lot of movies. He's been in a lot of movies. Wasn't this a blind item an episode or two ago? You were talking about like an A plus singer and a three name, guy, right? Is that a different story? I think that this might have been the same

story, but here's the thing. I'm not going to lie to you guys. Did I confuse Aaron Taylor Johnson with Aaron Hernandez? Yes. And was I very confused about this story

for a minute? Yes. And I was like, wow, and he's so attractive? You'd think that all of those things would have made me think for a second maybe they're not the same people. I was very surprised at her choice. But it's not.

No, we're talking about Aaron Taylor Johnson, who was in Craven the Hunter guys. Oh, God. Everybody is seen. He was in Nostavato. But he was in Nisvado. He was in Bullet Train. He was in Kidd'ass.

He's in 20 years later, apparently. I knew most from Kikas. I feel like that was really... And I didn't see kickass. So maybe can we claim that that's what it is? Is it because we didn't see Kikas? We can claim that. That's why we don't know.

And Craven the Hunter, even though surprisingly I didn't see that. And he is a, he's a handsome man. I'm going to say that. I'm going to say it would be a big step up. Sorry to be mean about it. But he has more Riz than SpongeBob. Oh, you ain't sorry. I'm not sorry.

I don't feel any sorry. Hell yeah. I'll never. Thank you. Anybody can be hot. Anyone can be beautiful, but not somebody who steps out on their baby and the wife. But this man is also stepping out on his wife, allegedly. And that's a thing.

Well, but Aaron Taylor Johnson, did you hear about the relationship that he is in? No. I hear about this maybe once every three years. Forget about it. And then it comes back and thank you, Jake. This is literally, I think we have had this conversation. Tell me. Multiple times.

He was 19. She was in her 40s. 40s. Oh, is it like an Emmanuel McCall situation? Groom, groom. It's a groom. It's a groom. It's a groan situation.

Oh, no. And so actually there's also this part of the discourse that is like, can Ariana Grande actually use her powers for good? That's why it's for good. Could she save him the man that was groomed? Yes, she is 58 and he is, I think, 35. Okay, all right, I'm with it. I was so confused, Jackie. I was like, I thought you were just making a for good.

pun, and I'll allow it. I'll always allow it. But you said, I'm always throwing in it for good. You said, is this Arianna using her powers for good? And I said, I thought to myself, I thought that we don't support

you know, infidelity here at page seven. Is Homewrecker a loaded term? Do we not say Homewacker? I think that's the, okay. And also, I feel like it's fine. I'm not fine with people cheating. Obviously, that's, it's not a good,

it's a nice social behavior. You're pro. I think you love it, MJ. You live in Brooklyn. you have to be polygamist. That's like in the rental of gray mills. To be a parent of children? I said that the people at the Cold Lake play concert

don't necessarily deserve to have their entire rest of their lives ruined for cheating, which some people really disagreed with me about. And some people are like, cheating is a very bad thing to do and you really deserve horrific public shaming for it. And I'll allow that too. We allow all perspectives here. It depends on how talented the partner you cheated against is. because that's really...

Yeah, that's really what matters most. The art you're cheating inspired, really... Or how pretty, or how pretty they are, Jake. I feel like they could be, you know, they could have money or they could be pretty. Like, I think... Oh, wait, like, if the person you're cheating on is pretty, like society's like, hey, you're wasting pretty lady. Right.

That's crime. Yeah, I feel like then you're even, you get pushed down the ladder even further, even though, you know... But if your partner was ugly, they're like, oh, way to go. Way to upgrade. I mean, in this situation, Aaron Taylor Johnson groomed and we're like, Ariana, wow, actually maybe breaking up a marriage that maybe this is a good thing after a while. Yeah, yeah. No, I'm, I, um, it's all coming back to me now, as Celine Dion would say.

And I do think, whoa, having a Celine moment. I do think that she is using her power for good. And I think I support this. I just, um, yeah, we're, you know, we've been calling for it here. We've been calling for the Wicked 2 publicity cycle, and it hasn't come yet. And I think we're there now. It's starting. It's starting.

It's starting. It's beginning. We are in. It has begun. The Jonathan Bailey being the sexiest man alive is great because I have already forgotten who it was last year, but it was like a snooze fest. And we were really pissed off about it. It is been a snooze fest. Why is it still happening?

I feel like it is kind of crazy. Is it just because people expect it? It's a great back room kind of thing that, like, you're in. agent can like finagle. It was John Trisinski. That's why I'm asleep because apparently a lot of people have been like Pedro Pascal apparently has been asked the last like four years and he turns it down every time. He's like, no, I don't want that.

And apparently a lot of people turn it down because they don't want it and because it's annoying. And it seems like it's a lot of, I got to go do this photo shoot. And then I got to go do this. And it's like just an additional thing. But if you think about it, Jonathan Bailey is already in the shit with the PR of Wicked. May as well throw something else on the pile. What does it matter at this point?

And then you get to it. They're like, now people can be like, he's the first openly gay sexiest man alive. And aren't we good people? In 2025. Wow. I guess I should fucking suck your dick. Is that what you want? How brave we are.

We're brave enough to say that gay men can be sexy too. Don't we deserve accolades? So they're getting their accolades or whatever. And yeah, the Ariana thing, she's just now she's just out. She's out. She's been let out. Mariah has been unthought and Ariana has been unthought. And I'm not ready.

I have been wondering where she's been because the movie's coming out in like a few weeks. But now I'm already over it. I'm like, get back in your hut, Ariana. And excuse me, have I already made the joke about the fact that she and Cynthia Arivo both got tattoos on? their palm that say for good, so they got matching tattoos for Wicked. But if there's literally anything anybody knows about tattoos, it's that when you get a tattoo on the palm of your hand, it doesn't stay.

Or at least a good portion of it usually doesn't. And so you're going to get for good, tattooed, not for good. I just think it's kind of funny. I think it's a little funny. When do they have the two of the most in-demand super, superstars of our, like, of the moment, you know, the, the faces of this billion dollar machine. And they got the poppy tattoo. They got the initials tattoo. They got like all sorts of a broom here, a wand there. They're just like, like, what are they? How, it's such a to do. How are they getting,

like, all these matching tattoos every single, like a couple of months? Honestly, you know what it is, too, though, Jake? The youths. And I'm finding, and I, as I have been slowly trying to cover as much of my body as I can with tattoos and talking to different tattoo artists. It's very interesting the way tattoo culture has changed. And for the youth, like my tattoos are actually, they age me. They show that I'm an older person because of the style of tattoos that I have. Because the youth, a lot of them are doing much more smaller pieces, fine line work, not as big, bold, like traditional is not as much.

needle, sticking pokey kind of stuff. So I feel like it actually is giving them more space to get a million matching tattoos on all of their many projects because they're not going in and getting big pieces done. It's all the little like, like that for good tattoo probably took 10 minutes. If that. Yeah. I mean, once you're like actually doing the zzzzzzz part of it. Yeah. Okay. That makes a ton of sense, actually. It's kind of like, and the more I think about it, And they're rich, so they can like literally call the guy over. Right. And they're not like, yeah, wow.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah. That really like solves the puzzle in a lot of ways from me. I think it's kind of interesting how even just the idea of how tattoo culture has been changing. And I don't really like to a point that I taught, I had a conversation that I was like, should I get not as big and bold of tattoos because it is. But it's like, why?

Do what you want to do. It's your body. It doesn't matter. So what? It ages me. You know what else is going to age me? The everything else about me. So I guess it's going to be fine. You do keep referring to the trolley in our kinds of conversations. And I'm like, what the minute? Really aging you there. Yeah. I'm just, it's like, what does it come back to the five and dime, Jimmy Dean? Like I'm just sitting here just like at a petrol station waiting for my future. You were like, does anybody have a phosphate I can drink? You were like, Jackie, what the fuck?

I don't know, an egg cream of sauce. I'm sorry, my transatlantic accents seems to be coming out. Oh my God, you're Ariannaing in real time. Oh, God, with the accent shifts. Yes. Let's keep talking about Ariana Grande because she is a chameleon with her words. And people, obviously, there has been much discourse about Ariana in the past. And I always kind of just abstain from that discourse for a couple of reasons.

I think we do in terms of, I don't feel like the authority on whether or not Ariana has done cultural appropriation in the past, but I do think it's fair to say that... Why not? I do feel like it's fair to say that there is some... It's a page seven race moment. Wish, yeah, we need to start bringing them in so much that we have, you know, like a button that's press. Talk about race. Racist, revolution. Rarra racist.

Yeah, I do think that there is general consensus that Ariana has engaged in some cultural appropriation over the course of her life. And so I think that generally was a few years in the past, but then even in the wicked era, in the last like two to three years, she has taken on a couple of different ways of speaking.

And it is noticeable. Like she talks now She just is like Like I feel like for the last year and a half She's just had this like Hi my little Like she's talking like Glinda I guess And it's and I'm like

Are you just a theater person who's like I just take on a character Yes You know And I do feel like there's that I I you know We come out here sometimes

Hating on Ariana And maybe it's because You know We had a little bit of a swiftie here For a while And I wanted to actually genuinely look into this. She has said in the past multiple times that for her voice, like with

Glinda, she had to train for a very long time to be able to sing the way Glinda sings and to master it the way in which she wanted to so that she actually does shift her voice and where she speaks with her voice depending on what she needs her voice for. So it would make sense that it If her voice, like her chords are stretched and it's easier to stay in that register because she has to go in and out of that singing voice, I feel like that makes sense. And now people are talking about like, oh, now she's got this deep voice. It's like, well, it's not even that it's deeper. It is that is she just speaking more in her usual register and we've gotten so used to her practicing over the past years for Glinda? Yeah.

But I'm again playing devil's advocate here because that is just, I'm just trying to say what she has said about. Yeah. I just, I don't know. Remember how weird her and Cynthia Revo were acting when they were doing the interstitials for Wicked Night at Dancing with the Stars? Oh, the finger? Oh, we're talking about the finger? Jake, you want to hold my finger? Jake, on my finger.

I'm holding. Are we in a sister on Jake on my finger? He won't do it. I'm not even holding onto reality, let alone space. Come on, Jake. I just, she is, she has such a weird public persona lately. I know. It's so weird.

I'm like, I just, I just want to, what's wrong with you? What's going on in there? I was watching a interview. It was like a big public, I think it was Kelly Clarkson. And they were talking about the palm tattoos and Fiero and Jeff Goldblum was there. And at various points in the moment, they were, it was Ariana and Cynthia Rivo sitting on a couch together. and their like movements would mirror each other.

They were like acting as one. And I know Ariana was very always known for that like high pony look, I think. But like the way her scalp was like cinched so tight, like she also looked a little bald with the blonde hair. And like it really was just these twin spindly queens. I'm not judging anybody's relationship with waiting food. That's a, boopoo-po-po-bo-bo-bo-bo. Eating disorder does. race eating disorder gender no hot topic is too hot we've got mitts on i have it's a zero life experience to speak on

yes no there is so that we've all we can all i think acknowledge the elephant in the room which is that something weird is going on with six no don't say elephant don't say elephant you're upset something weird's going on with ariana and cynthia at rivo's friend friendship. It's, I, it's, yes, they are, they are, they are moving in sync. They are speaking in sync. It's so weird. And I guess we're supposed to just be like, nice friendship. Yes. It feels scary. Nice friendship. We love this. I want to watch a whole show that's just, MJ trying to be supportive of just freak behavior.

that he like deep down nose is like not healthy but like doesn't have like the bona fide it's to like judge someone else what an interesting idea about the moon it's like so hard to identify how to critique ariana and cynthia rievo and um you know i'm gonna see wicked we saw it we went and saw k-pop demon hunter's weekend theatrical release for Halloween weekend oh wonderful And, oh, it was so much fun. And we saw then the Wicked, you know, the trailer for Wicked 2. Oh, yes. And the kids are like, are we going to see Wicked 2 in the theater? And I said, of course we will. Yes.

So they want to go to the theater to watch the second part? I don't know. Do I, I mean, K. Pop Deven Undress is their favorite movie. And by the end, I was like looking at my seven-year-old being like, it is physically painful for you to try to sit still right now. Oh. It is so, it is just very, but I, but it is fun. I mean, I like going to this.

the theater. And so I, yeah, I'm just trying to embrace the wicked train now that it's here, you know, whatever weird fucking alien symbiotic body melding they're doing. It's really crazy. I feel like that. I know that I had brought it up last week, but the amount of stranger things collabs out there can only be put to shame by the amount of wicked collabs there are out there. It's really, really crazy. Every, has either Stranger Things or Wicked on it right now. And I, you know that I love

my snacks. You know, I'm always looking for, you know, the hot snacks out there. But most of them are like, it's a chip. It's a Stranger Things, Chip. It's like, that's just a chip. Like, there's nothing. I like, I even love, like, a little, like, a petit fall.

Like, I love a little, like, cake. I'm always down with a little cake with, like, layers of frosting in between it. And they had ones, and it is just regular little chocolate cakes that are strangely. I'm like, at least try. Can't you be like 11 zapping brownie squares? I don't know something.

Give me something. Jenny's could, you could do like an ego waffle burger or something. Sure, exactly. And then it's the thing. And I love a collab. You know, I lost my mind for the Burger King collab. I still have the crown on the dash of my car. So just so that everybody knows, she's a queen.

She's a burger queen. But don't tell the king that I'm coming for his crown, especially while I guess we are, no, we're not talking about Stranger Things just yet. I do want to at least bring up that Katzai went as many Mariahs for Halloween. Okay. I want to bring up a little bit more Halloween

before we move into other upset Millie Bobby Brown. I'm sorry. Yeah. Millie Bobby Brown, I'm sorry. Yeah. David Harbor got to go. She's going to be fine. No, I think she's got to fucking go.

And I feel like I know that everybody's going to watch the last season, right? I know that we can't band together to not watch it to try and teach someone a lesson because it's not going to teach David Harper a lesson. No. It doesn't teach him a lesson. It doesn't change all the many, many hundreds of people that put so much time and energy into the show. But I wouldn't want to look at his fucking face.

Yeah. At this point? Even from last week when we talked about it, I was like, yeah, I think I'll watch it. I think between last week and this week, there's just enough annoying things happening around stranger things where I'm like, I'm like, I don't. don't know if I need to finish this. Were you a strangeo? Do you call them Strangeos?

First season loved it. Everybody loved it. Second season, I was like, okay, third season could barely care. Literally all three of us dropped off in the third season. Okay, I'm just glad. I love seeing where people drop off. I think it was like fourth season was when they had the big running up that hill moment, right?

Yeah, I did. What's not even engaged? Did not even care anymore. I did sing the song. and I do remember singing the song. We sang the song a lot, and we never stopped singing the song. And I am throwing this out there.

I know so many people that gave up in season three, but I feel like I know way more people that kept going that think we are idiots. And I'm hearing you. I want you to feel valid out there because I have been told by many people that I respect that are like, you will love this show if you just continue to watch.

I was like, you're right. Dayton Manorazzo shows hog. I don't get him. And you know, I'm always good. I'm like, oh, you mean the little boy from lay miss? Yeah, you can make it. He's 23. Yeah, he's old enough.

He's old enough. No one wants to look at his hog anyway. Because again, to me, he's always the little boy in lay miss. So I don't want to look at his hog, Jake, no matter how much you beg me to. I'm sure we've talked about this before. He was get roosh, right? Yes, he was get roche. But I don't want to watch it.

And you know what? Every episode is longer than like a movie, like as it got into the later seasons. I just, you know, it's hard enough for me to finish Hannibal because every episode's an hour. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. No, I think I'm over it. I don't know.

I'll see. I'll see how I feel. I like to be tapped into what everyone is watching is the thing. I know. And it's the final one. But is it enough to make us watch multiple seasons worth of episodes? in the next two weeks. I mean, I'm making a lot of turkeys,

but not that many turkeys. Not that many turkeys, I know. But I do love cat-size many Marias for Halloween. I think it's great. I think that's a group costume we can all agree on. You know what's fun is that I would love it if everybody looked up the picture of cat-side dresses the Mariah Careys from her different genera, like her eras?

And they didn't try to look like Mariah Carey whatsoever. They just put on outfits. Yeah, yeah. I like that if no one had told me that they were dressed as many Mariah Carey's, never in my wildest dreams would I have been able to guess what this group costume is. Daniela is dressed as Mariah Carey in the fantasy video, but during the rollerblades section, not the rainbow shirt, which I feel like is... Is the iconic outfit?

Thank you, Jake. The rainbow shirt and the sand suit would have at least gotten me together. Okay, like, okay, maybe that's the spectrum of Mariah. Okay, then I see that. Not even any. There's no butterflies on anything. No rainbow. Like, what are we talking about here?

We're talking about Mariah and Carrie. You're right. It is a pretty, it's like, now that I know it's Mariah, I'm like, this is nice. But if I didn't know it was many Marias, I would not, I would not. And I love Katzai. I love Katzai. But I think that, like, I wish it's like, they didn't even put on wigs. They didn't.

They, I got to love that day. They're like, I don't know, put this on. It's like, Jake, what do I have? Sometimes you just do the best you can, you know? Yes. Clearly rushed this one. The Bowie Yang clearly not being anywhere near them in the same room. In the picture at all, yep.

If I want a comedian friend to be in a K-pop video, I'm going to go with Matt Marano and an ESPA music video, if you ever saw that. A friend of everybody, Matt Marano was in an ESPA music video, and I love him for it. He played a skeevy agent. that had to tell Giselle. Oh my God, you have to point this out to me.

That, like, she wasn't acting Asian enough. And she was like, you can't define me. It was like very, yeah. Wow. That's fun. You both watched Popstar Academy, right? Yes. They did.

I did. Holden and Jackie did. I did not, but I heard about it from them. So I watched it as well. For those of you that don't know, Popstar Academy is the reality show that Katzai, the group, which is an American-based group. I believe they're all from, from the United States? Well, Junce is Korean. Or I apologize.

I'm sorry. Monique is from Switzerland. Danielle is from a country that I don't remember. But the show is an American show. It is an American reality show, right? It is not an American. It is an American reality show. Then there was a Korean reality show that they kind of cover.

And the American show, like the backstage drama. But it was like, yeah, yeah. It was this like massive. you know, casting call across the world a hundred girls started it got winnowed down

to these five or six members and watching it especially because I me and Marie ended up tuning into it after the after like you know da-na-na-minute touch touch touch touch gnarly like their initial run of hits I love cats I'm sorry

fried chicken Tesla everything is gnarly But see... These were children. These were children... That were shaped. Like the ringer.

They had like multiple rug poles, multiple like times where the terms were like changed on that. They go through the full K-pop training program, which to be fair, I was never really that familiar. I knew that it was arduous. Like I knew that it was something that is very difficult and took many years,

but I'd never really watched the process before. But it was like really condensed. And then on top of that, they were treating, like, they were treating these girls' lives like, these play things that they could, like, squeeze for, for view. So, like, I really empathized with these girls. And, like, they were crying. They were seeking solace with each other. They were, like, calling their moms and dads. Like, I, like, I'm a middle-aged man.

And I was, like, these poor children. I know. After watching that, it is so uncomfortable watching them wiggle around in booty shorts in a weird. little tinsel room. Yeah. It's so mind-blowing that like, like, before I would have been like, well, whatever, that's not for me. Like, but like, you know, there were, obviously I'm not breaking any new boundaries about,

like, the burden of womanhood here. But like, you know, with the makeup, with the outfits, they're aged up. They're made to be more sexy, more mature, more, uh, just like, whatever. But like, having watched them go through all of that, now I can't watch Katzai. I'm just like, it's like, I'm like, I want to get it, get them a jacket. I feel like, I know what it is? I feel like I watch it, though. I watch it, I'm like, look at them go.

Yes, you go get it. Like, I feel like I am the mother in the wings. Yeah. That's how I look at it instead. I feel like I'm just like, yes. I feel like wait every time I'm watching stray kids and every time I'm just like, I know that they are all of age. But I can't, like, it's like watching Robert Irwin on Dancing with the Stars where I'm

just like, I. don't, like, I don't thirst for him and then like I lose myself in the dance, Jake. And then I'm, I thirst for a second. Then I'm like, ah, ah! He's a baby. He's a baby. I think it's also those like intense

K-pop dances like in a stadium look great because they are doing like, they're giving the face, they're giving the shape, they're giving the line, they're doing everything right. But in that Halloween video, they are so cramped and the camera is so close. It is uncomfortable. Uncomfortable. Imagine how

comfortable it was for them to be dancing that close to each other. I'd be worried we're going to have another Dylan Ephron moment. We're not talking about Dancing with the Stars. Don't worry. We will be back tomorrow with Dancing with the Stars conversation, but that's not what we're doing right now because we've got to get to the list.

Oh, who's on the list? Me. Jackie, got to have that list. I am from every continent in Africa except for one. 14 times celebs were very confidently wrong about basic facts. Oh, no.

This is a... But some of them, honestly, a lot of them aren't, like, upsetting that's kind of just funny. Like, for instance, on a 2024 episode of his podcast, New Heights, Travis Kelsey revealed that he recently learned the truth about Alice in Wonderland. He said, I also found out over the summer that it's Alice in Wonderland, not Alice in Wonderland. And his brother said, you thought it was Allison Wonderland? We've watched the movie, though. Allison. Oh.

He said, you know her name. wasn't Allison and then he said, I thought it was. And that is, you know, so it's little moments like that, you know. Can we call this like male vulnerability and root for him? I don't. I guess we could. This is honestly, a lot of this isn't really so much. I'm not trying to like shame these people and be like, you're a fucking idiot. These are more just like, nah, that's kind of funny. I also did think that about Alice in Wonderland when I was like a small child.

Sure. We've all been there. We've all had things like that too. Like this has happened to many, many people. But then, you know, then there's Troy Sivan who responded to a TikTok about people thinking the UK, uh, leaving the EU meant the nation also left the continent of Europe. He's, he said, I'm so fucking dumb. This entire Europe and UK tour, I've been calling it the Europe and UK tour. Someone said to me yesterday, are you staying in Europe for a while?

And I was like, yeah, well, we go to the UK tomorrow. did I think they invented a new continent called the UK and Troisvon called themselves out for it and I appreciate it because, you know, sometimes your brain's just not quite computing with what you're saying. Yeah, I think that's actually kind of cute. It is a cuter one.

There is nothing more embarrassing though when you just like realize you just don't know geography in a huge way. Oh, wow, that's on me. Yeah. That's really on me. As Americans, like that moment We're so stupid.

We're so stupid. We're just, we know nothing. And then you find yourself in a conversation, you're like, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh. I'm about to talk. I don't know whether to call it Britain. The troubles. The troubles. I know it's the troubles.

It's an island. But is it? Yeah, no, it's a humiliating. So very absolutely. Folks, I'm going to level with you. I don't know where France is. Yeah. Somewhere in the middle.

It's like, yeah. It's around there. It's around there. I know. It's got Alps. And you know. Some of them are French Alps. Some of them aren't.

But I guess those aren't the ones. there. You know what? If you hit Germany, you went too far. Too far. This moment I see all the time, but actually, I never knew the back half of it. I've seen this moment appearing on late night with Conan O'Brien in 2003. Jennifer Garner paused Conan O'Brien to correct his grammar. But after the commercials, he whacked out a dictionary to prove he was right all along. I remember that. So Conan said, there was a time when you snuck into the room. And then Jennifer Garner said, I sneaked into the room. She said, Snuck isn't a word, Conan.

And you went to Harvard, and you should know that. And she did it in a very cheeky, cute way. But then, after the commercial break, Conan says, I keep a dictionary down here. And I just found it. Just want to look up. Oh, what the hell? Look right there.

Snuck. Passed and parsed. Parsed. Uh-oh, what? I can't read. What am I, Lea, Michelle? Passed and passed part of Sneak. And Jennifer Garner had.

eat her word hat. There is. Oh, please go ahead. I'm so sorry. Because I also, I was like a real pedantic know-it-all as a kid. And I think that we all need to have a moment where we are a pedantic know-it-all and then we show our ass. And then we're like, I'm, I got to stop being a pedantic no-it-all. I'm so sorry, you know.

I am so the opposite of that, even when people try to correct themselves, unless it is something that like someone is actively, I'm talking about like, oh, you genuinely don't know someone's pronouns or something like that. that kind of thing that I will. But usually, if I can figure out the context clues, I'm not going to correct somebody. And there are so many people in this world. They'd be like, oh, actually, you didn't know. Oh, wait. Oh, do you read?

Shut up. You know how big is pet peeves. Like, also, language is an organic living thing. Sure. Yes. If enough people agree that this sound has meaning, guess what? That's a word, idiot. That's meaning.

Uh-huh. Yes. A hundred percent. MJ, I don't know how to say this, but if we were friends as a child, I might have been tempted to body slam me through a glass coffee table. Yeah. And I would have needed it because I was okay, but here's the thing. Go, no, that's it.

Yeah. For a mom. Like we know about people who, you know, try to make themselves lift up by putting other people down, I was insecure. And I was like, my one thing I have is being smart. So I'm going to prove how smart I am by like correcting your pronunciation of this word. And it was such a like cry for help. And I needed.

And I think I don't remember what it was, but I just had a moment. Oh, I remember what it was. I went. I got into a big fight with a friend about the meaning of the word opaque. And I was wrong. Wait, did you see? Did you think like what were you sticking? Translucing.

You thought it was translucent. I'm so embarrassed to even think about it again. And I thought that it meant like, like, in the Muppet Christmas Carol, when the windows are very hard to see through, but you can see through a little bit. Yes. I thought that's what opaque meant. Okay. But it turns out you can't see through it at all. No.

And I was so, and I showed my ass. And I was such a stick about it. And I really, I feel like that was the moment where I was like, well, I was. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. Yes.

And I have never corrected anyone. Since it's good. Good. That's what I loved here. You started a podcast with your brother where you corrected people after the fact. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, now that they're not here, we can say that that was wrong.

We can discuss. But now this could just be like, oh, it's youth. But I would throw it out there at this point in time, Justin Bieber was such a little shitbird that I probably would have given him more shit. In a 2010 interview with New Zealand C-4, Justin Bieber seemingly didn't understand that German is a language. The interviewer said, Justin Bieber is German for basketball, true or false? And he said, is what?

And then he said, is German for basketball, true or false? And he goes, German? And he said, German, sorry, that's the Kiwi accent going on there. German, you know, German. And he says, I don't know what that means. He goes, right here, German. And then Justin Bieber looks at the paper and goes, is German for? I don't know what that means.

We don't say that in America. Amazing. He's a little guy. He's like 12. No, he's like 14, 15. We all know this is when he starts like pissing in janitor's buckets and shit like that, all right? This is when he started the whole, all the shit for an act. I wonder why, because he's making a bunch of money when he's a teenager.

I know it's not his fault, but I still want to give him shit a little bit. I think saying we don't say is German for in America. In America. Very funny. That's why I just feel like the way he says it is such a shitbird way of being like, in America. We don't say it like that, which is just so not true. And you don't even, you can just say, oh, I don't know what that means. Or like, oh, what?

But I just love, you know, you got to anyway. Or sometimes it has nothing to do with just making a screw up. Sometimes you're just a piece of shit man and you decided you know what's right better than the other person. Like when Jared Leto and Amanda Seafried were paid. for Variety's actors on actors in 2022. He insisted that she was wrong about her own eye color. She had said to him, well, you have like searing blue eyes.

And he said, you have searing blue eyes. And she goes, green eyes. Are they blue? Why does everyone call? Why does everyone say they're blue? And he said, well, because they're blue. And she said, they're green. And he goes, are they?

And she said, my eyes are green on my license. And he goes, oh, well, then it must be true. Shut the fuck up, Jared Leto. I, Jared Leto, why is he still on screens? He's not after Tron Ares. Is it finally over? Is it finally over, Jake? Can we never look at him on a screen again?

I mean, there's still going to be moments where Ryan Gosling says no to a project and an old producer will be like, get me the other one. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, the next three panels. Hold on, let me look. You know what? I think you're right. And she says, no, I'm right.

And he goes, let me see something. No, they're green. He held up a plant next to her face and went, no, they're green. He continued to double down that her eyes. I just, this is one of those things. What are you supposed to do? Take a woman at her word? Gross.

And then he's like, well, I guess they are green. I guess I've decided they're green. I just, Jared, let him. Go back underneath the ground when you do. didn't know that COVID was happening because you or have your little light cult. Can you just go back underneath into the bunker? Yeah. I feel like this is an honest, I think you could have an honest and not annoying conversation about the, the common space between blue and green eyes and have it not be awful. Sure. And how sometimes what you wear and sometimes it makes it different, sometimes a little, I understand that. I think it's a beautiful eye color to have, like that kind of hazel, kind of in betweenish. Yeah, but I just, he, to just, he is so annoying that to tell somebody that they're right about their own eyes is, it does come off as extremely obnoxious.

Yeah, it's really obnoxious. And almost as obnoxious as it was that when in 2009, Mariah Carey got confused about the bills because an interviewer said, like electricity, a bill. And she goes, oh, I'm sorry. oh, you have to pay for that. And he goes, yeah, you don't get it for free. And she goes, in America, we get it for free. And that's not true. I love this.

You can say that to how large my L-A-D-W-P bill is. No, I'm sorry, Mariah has made a statement and it is law. So now none of us have to pay. No, no, no, we do. Oh, she doesn't. Oh, okay. All right. Is you any Mariah Carey story that doesn't reinforce her fucking saintly goddesshood?

Love her. Like, just she is not a member of the human race. She has ascended. She exists on a different plane. She's a perfect diva to a point that, you know, pretends like her siblings don't exist because they don't fit in with what she dreams, okay? And sometimes you got to cut them out, y'all, you know? we haven't read the memoir yet.

I'm going to say it. Jake, we've tried to read the Mori and Carey memoir multiple times. We have celebrities, which you named over on the page 7 Patreon. The claim to fame. The claim to fame,

the man himself, celebrities, Jake Young. We have put it to the chat or to Patreon many times to see if anybody wants us to read Mariah Carey's book, and they never do. No one does.

No one wants us to read it. And I'm a lot. okay with it. You know, we're reading Alvirus right now and we're having a blast with it. I do just want to end out this list with the one that I think that everybody thinks about, if you ever think about misunderstanding a word in a moment in time. And that is in the 2015 interview when Demi Lovato seemingly forgot that dish is a synonym for meal. She was asked, and your favorite dish? And she goes, my favorite dish, I like, mugs because they're comfortable in your hand.

And they hold the hot things that you don't have to touch. They hold the hot things. This is a perfect answer. I think about this moment all the time because the thing is that it doesn't make me dislike Debbie Levato. It makes me think that is such a real thing that you know every once in a while when someone, you know they're speaking your language and they're looking at you and you're just like, I don't know what you are saying or what you're asking for.

And you know, I'm sure that it was like, is this? really the question? Okay, I guess it's mug. I guess it's mugs. Yeah, I do have these like bowl plates. I call them bowl plates because they're kind of like rounded. I guess technically they're like pasta dishes, but I guess my bowl plates are my favorite. I want to get some bowl plates. I've seen those. Really upsets Jeff that I call them bowl plates. And he said, well, then why is it not just called bowls? And I said, well, because they have more landscape than a regular bowl. Yeah. See, these are the kinds of discussions you get into. When people ask childless people, what do you guys fight about?

You don't have kids. You know, you call something a bowl plate. And then we didn't even get into a fight, but we did discuss it for multiple minutes. And we ended it on. I continue to call it bowl plate, and Jeff refuses to. So you're welcome.

That's my list. Well, I am so shocked because I can no longer see. Jesus Christ, I got a bullet doctor. I got nothing. I got no segue. I think I'm going to go away.

Blind. Items. We can't see them. M.J. I've been on this show multiple times and you've had a massive episode where you've lost the ability to see. I think you might have diabetes or some kind of like a blood vessel issue. No, don't say it. Yeah, no, I got to get myself to a doctor. In America, we don't have doctors.

I can't do anything about it. Mariah, how'd you get in here? We don't pay the bill for the electricity. would not allow to go to the hospital. All right. Blind number one. All right. This is special.

The A plus Lister is actually working her absolute hardest and using whatever tactic she can to outsell the animated movie song. The animated movie song. So I'm assuming. Has to be. Mariah. Yeah. Not Mariah. Oh, so wait.

A plus person who does not like anyone else to be above. the charts from her. Oh. Taylor? Has to be. Taylor. And what is the animated movie song? Golden.

Yes. Taylor's mad that Golden is outpacing her on the charts. Well, fuck off, bitch. Make a better song. Gonna be, gonna be Golden. Yeah. Make a better fucking song. Sorry.

We're going up, up. Oh, I'm sorry. You upset. Yeah, we're all going up, up. It's our moment. It's our fucking moment. Gotta be, got to be golden. Taylor's going to have the red hon moon.

And she's going to be like, it's even, my hon moon's even. better. Yeah, no, I think Taylor might be Gwilla. Like, I mean, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Handle it. I just love this.

She's going to sacrifice Travis Kelsey and turn him into a sword. Yes. It would be worth a turn into an actual weapon. I just, I love this so much because we all, I'm, I am bad bunny in the sketch when everyone's talking about what music they like it. I like K-pop demon hunters. I like Capeob.

up demon hunters so much and I love that they are just breaking records all over the place and nobody has ever been able to fuck with Taylor and her numbers and her charts except for them and I think that's fun. Alright. Not a problem chart because I got too wild.

Oh my God, I could go on forever. Now that's how I'm getting paid. I love it so much. I am the bad bunny. It's almost always like in the backdrop of my brain. I feel like if I get, if I'm listening to another song, I lightly hear it in the background.

Like, I feel like I'm going crazy. Dude, in the theaters, too. But I love it. It hits so hard in the theaters. It's very funny that Sony was like, nah, let's just give it to Netflix. Like, it goes hard in the concert scenes, like the auditorium scenes. Bro, I bet. I bet.

Gideon and I were weeping at the end of the Cape Epitab Dibonautress. We've seen it so many times, and it hits so hard. Also, if this blind eye is true, I just, I'm, that, like, Taylor already backpedaled on this album and was like, ha, no, it was just like my joke, uh, fun time album. Like, it's not like that serious if after doing all of the like big pre-release stuff about how it was so important and so deep and so meaningful. And now she's like, no, no, no, no.

Canceled is definitely better than Golden. Like, it's insane. Yeah. It's just not. Like, I've defended Taylor to the point of like, I, you know, whatever. If people, it's, this is meaningful for people. People can like what they like, blah, blah, blah. But like, I feel like.

She's such a, like, you know, champion of, like, girls and, like, women and, like, little girls. And, like, the idea of just being, like, I've got to take down those women who are inspiring to all those little girls is, like, very funny to me. Like, yes, because I, you know, you say that, like, she's so supportive, but it is very funny. The anti-Swifties say, obviously, the opposite. Of course. And that is such a huge part of the rhetoric of the anti-Swifties. I know. Because she's not a girl's girls, girls.

She's not a girl. And I think that they might be right. It does have to suck to build yourself into this temple of artificial girlhood and then see actual artificial girls beat you at your own game. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's got to be, it's got to be upsetting. Yeah. I mean, especially a group of singers who are not even a band.

And, you know, they're not a band. E.J. hadn't stung a live performance like ever until that Fallon. Crazy. It's so crazy. It is so crazy. But blind number two, I could talk about K-pop Deep and Hunters all day. Blind number two. Well, this foreign-born actress, who you would think was born here, is out promoting her most recent project, which, considering her past, she is lucky to have booked. Her awful husband is cheating on her with a waitress. Okay, this is a poorly written blind, okay? But she is a very popular, very hot actress. She's been married to this. Oh, no, not that. Not that. I would say not that, like, trendy right now. Okay. She's been married to this, this guy forever. I've got a hint that we'll give it away. Let me see if I can do not that. They met, they got, they got, they met when they were actors together in a project. And then they got married and they've been together for a long, long time. And he, we think he's very annoying. We talked about him on the show recently and how annoying he is. And, uh, what's his fucking name? Chris. Pratt? No, no, not quite that annoying. That's pretty annoying. But I guess they didn't meet on a, sorry, I was really star, I, my brain is churning over here. Yeah, yeah. Okay, keep going, MJ. They met on a, they were both castmates together on a show

that you love. That was on when we were young. And she's very hot. And he's very tall. He's very tall and she's very hot. Oh, and oh, it's so hard to look like I do and get the role that I need. I'm completely out of my own here. Oh my God. Okay. From our childhood. He was on a...

And he was on a panel. It's not Brad Garrett. Apology video. Is it Brad Garrett? Final answer. Way, nice. The problematic Dipsid, who played Cody on step by step, whose name I forgot. I cannot believe.

He brought up the tall brother from everybody loves Raymond. How dare you? He is tall. That is a show I love this child. I don't know who he's married to. Okay, here's your hint. Phil Rosenwald. No.

They needed to put out an apology video together because they... Oh, Neil Acunis and Ashton Coucher. Yes, there you go. And apparently he's out... Wait, so wait, wait. He's banging our waitress? Let me read it again. Okay.

Well, this foreign-born actress, who you'd think was born here, I don't know why they include that aside. Well, this foreign-born actress is out promoting her most recent project, which, considering her past, she's lucky to have booked, her awful husband is cheating on her with a waitress. Well, because honestly, I'm going to throw it out there. Of all the people in this society of Hollywood that have a checkered pass that I would say, and I'm surprised they're still working. Yeah. I feel like Milakounis is not one of those. I mean, I know. Don't get me wrong.

I'm not like a huge fan because all the fucking Danny Masters is. So like, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying like, because she's America's sweetheart, I just feel like there's so it's like, you know, Sean Penn is still on her movie screens. You know, it's like there's, there's so many that are horrible that I also am like, I mean, they still have a fucking career. They still have a career. She's been in like a bunch of duds, like Jupiter ascending, I remember, was like one of her big star

turns and that was like one of the later Wichowski disasters. Although I will say my sister really loves the bad moms duo movie movies. I'm not seen. The duology. The duology of bad moms. Is the past they're referring to just her defending Danny Masterson? I believe so. Yeah.

Okay. But also, correct us. Correct as we're wrong, but as far as I know, it's the support of Danny Masterson. Okay. And I don't mean, I don't say just. to minimize that, that was really shitty, but I wasn't sure if she had her own scandal associated with her as well. Not looking for a performative male good boy points here,

but just like the double standard where like in terms of Hollywood standards, like a scar that could like blight on your career defending Danny Masterson. For male celebrities, it's being Danny Masterson. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. Yeah, and the new project is that she's in the Knives.

out, the new Knives Out. Wake up Dead Man, a Knives Out mystery. And I will watch it because I am enjoying the Knives Out. Me too. Are you into the Knives Out? Everything that people say they hate about Ryan Johnson movies, I truly enjoy on a euphorically sincere level, and frankly, I'm sick and tired of hiding it. Wow.

I love this for you, Jake. Step into the lights. Let it out. Let it all out, Jake. Do you have any other hot take that you need to get out about Ryan Jones? Best Jedi. Whoa. Oh.

You are talking to two people that couldn't even possibly come at you if we tried. So we're going to both agree with you and go, I bet it is. If we were in a room together, you both could definitely body slam me through a glass coffee table because of your dedication and cooperation with each other. No, it's just because you'd give in. Because you'd let us do it. You'd be like, well, I'm not going to accidentally hurt you guys while you're trying to kill me. I actually am very weak. No upper arm strength.

What do you mean? You're very strong in many, many ways. I have texted Gideon to assess his opinion on whether Last Jedi is best Jedi, and I will be reporting. Oh, no. Thank you. Now you're going in. Wow, we brought out the big dough. He's too busy getting fucking drunk at Zoron headquarters right now.

Yes. Blasted on sustainably grown local champagne. Oh, that reminds me I need to get some champagne for later. Whoa. And Dick Cheney died? Man, it's a good. It's a fun day, man. Good today.

I don't even know the results of the election yet, but no matter what happens, we can drink the champagne because Dick Cheney died. Yes. But also, Diane Ladd, though.

Sending out some love to die in lead. Kind of sad. Cut this out of the episode so I didn't jinx it. No, I know. Believe me, I don't like page seven Election Day episodes, but blind number three,

this is for the three of us. There's a little tour reference in here, or at least something that we all share and no together because of two or at least I think, Jake, if you paid attention to the page seven part of our show, unless you're only paying attention to your part of your show. Okay, so by sharing, you don't mean a bucket of cold comedy club chicken tenders.

Yeah, or you're about to like, you know, we're going to have to take the knee so that we can take down an ice right now because if you iced us and we didn't know, that would be quite an icing. No, I mean, this person is somebody who is mentioned in the page seven live show, and so I think that you will.

That's your little hint. Okay. I think that it will help you. The former, well, maybe that will be too obvious. The former Glee actress is making people pay if they want her to sign anything after one of her performances. Meanwhile, the rest of the cast always signs for free. Oh, the fallen funny girl, Leah Michelle? Wow.

That's the one. Wow. It's because she can't read to write it. That's really why. It's because she's having to pay a tutor to try to do it. A lot of hard work going into those audits. She has to make sure. It is, uh, that, it makes sense.

Of course she is. Of course she is. You're garbage. We all know that you can read, but it still doesn't mean that you're not a garbage person. Now, I have been trying to avoid the Megan Markleblins because they are just increasingly mean, but sometimes they are so funny. And I need to, can I just read this one as a little bonus? Please.

Is it about, you know what? It really is crazy how they rip her report for absolutely everything. Is it about the Dodgers win? It is a video that was released because she was, they were in the. theater in the house and they saw the Dodgers win and this like they put out this little video of them like being normal people and celebrating because the Dodgers won and everybody was like fake bitch like I was just like I mean they're just celebrating because the Dodgers won but I'm sorry please continue like it's just the blinds are like I'm not even I'm not

even trying to give attention to the mean actual headlines about her because they are so mean but the blinds are just on one about her speaking of this illiterate one. one house at 4 p.m. while wearing sunglasses doesn't really scream, I want to spend Halloween with my kids. It screams, I really want to go drink some wine and pass them off to a nanny. Why? I know. Just because she left the house with sunglasses on it? And there's just the blinds are convinced that she is drunk all the time. And I think it's very funny because I don't think there's a lot of evidence for it. I hope she is. I do hope she. Maybe maybe that's what she needs. I know we make lots of jokes towards Megan Markle,

but I hope everyone understands here not to any, like I don't think that like, I don't wish evil on her. You know, it's like there are certain people you do wish evil towards still, but like, I think the fact that she got paid a gazillion dollars to make a podcast that she did never make is hilarious. And while it annoys me because it does hurt any of our futures

for ever getting paid ever again. And that does hurt my spirit. It is a little funny. It is right. It is funny. That's the attitude we should adopt. It's just like, yeah, we, you know what? We should applaud getting paid for not doing the work.

You know, sometimes that's, sometimes we all need that. Yeah. And that's, now I can see again. Welcome back, MJ. And I am excited not to move us merrily right along, but we've got some snacking to get to it's draggy snackies. Mouth noise people go away. I've been a snackie girl.

Snacky. I've been a snackie girl. Snacky. I've been a snackie girl. Snacky. I've been a snackie. Snacky. Snacky. Is somebody going to eat those chips? Is somebody going to dip those dips? Is somebody going to try those candies? I got seminar. They say I'm a snack lead.

And thank you April for putting in the time stamp in the caption. because then everybody knows when they're going to be mouth sounds and I tell you all what guys So wait are the myzomophobia people gone? Yes. I find it weirdly calming. Am I weird?

It takes all kinds, Jake. Now, I have been excited about this product for a long time since I saw it and I thought that maybe it was fake because I've been looking for them for so long and I got sadly, pathetically, so excited when I found them at a 7-Eleven and it is the hybrid.

Are you a nerd cluster? Are you like a... The nerd cluster revolution. Yes. Are you part of it? I am a member. I honestly, we thought we had reached the top of the mountain with the rope. And then somebody was like, nah, uh, mm-mm, chop that rope up.

Chop that rope up. More surface area. 100%. More grunchies. That's right. Correct. Now, me, and if you had been like, hey, do you want a box of nerds? I'd be like, no.

No. No. Gross. Shut the fuck up. I'm so happy you said that because I just, I haven't eaten a box of nerds in a very long time. Winnie and I sat and we ate nerds together. And as I sat next to her, I was like, I'm going to tell you, Winnie, these are good. But I think that you should be eating these.

And I brought over the nerd clusters because I was like, this isn't. And while she ate all of it, so it didn't really matter. She was a little sugar deep. Joshua, oh, me and Jackie was trying to see. I was experimenting to see what the kids are like in. Now, Jake, how do you feel about a hybrid between a nerd cluster and a gusher? Yeah, it's juicy nerd clusters. What the, it's juicy, they're juicy.

I can't believe it. I saw these. I saw them at 7-Eleven and I almost bought them and I didn't because I was like, I actually don't want that. But I wish I had. You're crazy and I'm sorry for you. I know. I know. You're telling me you've managed to take sugar in the liquid stage.

Yeah. Then you took sugar in the mushy phase. Then you got sugar in the crunchy phase. All in one sphere. Three phases of sugar matter. This is all that matters. This is, these are two, Jake, these are two bags of the same product because I was worried that you were going to like him so much

that you were going to want your own bag. So I brought you one. Thank you so much. Yeah. So that's how much I am dedicated to this product. I purchased these days ago. I am opening it right now, y'all. I want you to know I saved myself. Jackie's bag is

a little bigger than mine. Wow. It is bigger and it is resellable. Wow. I didn't mean to give you one in particular. I just gave you. I'm just causing trouble. Okay. They're bigger. They're bigger than the nerd clusters. And these are

they're all strawberry punch flavor. I really want to know how wet. Very strong artificial strawberry flavor. Oh yeah. I'm about, all right,

you're going full hog. I guess I got to go full hog. Go put it all in your mouth. How wet are we talking? Mm. How much like a gusherb? Wow. Sucrose ecstasy.

My whole mouth is filled. with sugar orgasm. Wow. It's everything I wanted. It's just, you know what it was? It's not a gusher. It's definitely not like the consistency of a gusher.

It is definitely more, I would say, the consistency of a mixture between a gusher and a gum drop. Interesting. Because it is more, it is more liquid. It is like, the liquid is more gelatinous than it is inside of a gush. Yes, it is a thicker syrup in the middle. Not as much, I would say. And the gel is stiffer.

Although, when you bite it in half, oh, it's goosh. It's goosier than you expect them when you're eating the whole hog. I really, I looked at those things and I was like, I should buy those for Jackie Snacky's. And then I was like, I don't think they'll be good. But look at me eating my hat.

I will throw it out there. You got to like it, sweet. It hurts. It is less. tart. Yeah. It is less tart and it is very sweet. And so it might be overkill for some people out there. Not this bitch. I did eat a box of nerds last night because they don't give away nerd clusters on Halloween yet. I don't know why. It's not in a Halloween size bag. Oh, come on over. Come on over West Coast. Bitch, we got them in little packages and they all giving them out. The problem

is, and I'm going to say this, it should be illegal to have the packages that small. I don't want five nerd clusters. Your body wants five nerd clusters. But the soul, Jake.

The soul wants to obliterate your pancakes. Oh, baby. Okay, MJ, please. MJ's minute, Munchies. Ooh. Everything they snack. MJ's Minute.

Munchies. So you were right that 7-Eleven is the place to be. Yes, dude. And I got some spicy, spicy dill pickle checks mix. Yes. Give us what is the dill. I'm excited. Is it too much?

Let's get with the smell. Let's get that crunch. Do you think it's overpowering in the world of Czechs mix? Or do you think that the spicy dill is overpowering it too much? Interesting. It's not overpowering. Okay. It smells like it has the smell of a pickle chip.

Okay. But it's not super pickly. It's much more checks mix forward than pickle forward. Really? So do you still getting that like umami Worcestershire like hit? Yeah. I had one of the, I had one of the Gardettos. I think Gardettos are the ride chips or whatever, you know, the like.

Oh yeah. We know what you're talking. The goods. Yeah. And I feel like that has such a strong flavor that you can't even out deal. it, you know. But then there's other pieces. Are they pumpernickel?

What are they referred to as those little chips? Are they rye? I know they're not rye, but do they call, I feel like they, I believe if you get the Gartetto's oops all ride chips. Yes. Which, by the way, once they released that, it was game over for checks mix. Oh, yeah, because if that is an option, I always get just the rye chips. They call it a rye chip on the back of the bag.

I could have answered your question sooner. I'm sorry. Oh, yeah. So what is it, what is the variety? It's called a ride chip. There's the corn checks. It's the regular checks mix mixture. It's the regular. There's pretzels, wheat checks, corn checks, and then spicy dill checks, and a squiggle breadstick. It's good. I think if I were to have a pickle snack, I would probably choose something a little junkier, like a pickle chito or a pickle Dorito. Or a pickle chis. Yes. You want something with 50% more fat.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes, yes, yes. Which I do sometimes. And it does appear to have, unfortunately, much less fat than a chip and less oil and whatever. Then I would, and you like the pickle flavor. I would recommend these. I like it much more than a normal checks mix. I endorse.

You know, I only ever purchased checks mix at the airport. Yeah. Oh, my God, is this? I thought I was about to be like, oh, Jackie, you're such an idiot. I only ever get it at the airport. It's an airport food. It's an airplane food. It's a great airplane food.

Because it's more substantial than a chip. Than a chip. And it's got variety inside of the package. Unless they've got all rye chips than I do. That worst assured umami like a flavor load, it's more savory and it like tricks your body into thinking you're having like more. I could get into like the actual chemistry of like glutamits and how your body like perceives like the different flavors and associates them.

Like what you really want is like a real meal. protein and fuel, but you can't get that in the airport for less than $30. Right. So you get the checks mix and you eat that and your brain is like, yeah, this is like, yeah, this is meal-ish. Yeah. Or you roll like me and I come in four sandwiches deep to every flight. I don't care how long the flight is.

Four sandwiches. Yeah. Just in case. I think that's, I like that approach, but I am more in the J-camp of like, this is meal-ish. I got something that seems like a meal for a five-hour flight to L.A. and then I'm very hungry when we land. Yeah, I guess, but also, is it time for... Boopo, beep, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, b, b, b,

I got a brand new segmenta. It'll make you feel so demented. Oh, damn, right. Is it not a solid snack? Oh, no, it's not. It's a liquid, a tattatatack. It's Jackie Slakeys. Jackie Slakey's.

It's a fluid attack. Wow. Wow, we just came up with it. It's a segment within a segment within a segment. I love this. You're covering the world of solid foods on Jakey Slakey's. We put the drinks to the test. All right. What did we got going on here?

Now, last time I was on the show, I just got a can of Arizona and I was like, cheap, cheap, not worthy, not rising to the task. Although I was, I was intrigued by it, though. That was the whipsicle, right? Yeah, yeah. It was the fake dole whip. but what is really the hotness in the beverage space right now? If you're not aware, let me tell you. Please.

It's the functional soda. Big money in soda pops, your poppy, your probiotics and the olypop, your probiotics. I ran into, I, so I wanted to do this fancy. So I went to Gelsons. Whoa. Which is like, I'd say the Dagestinos of the West Coast. It is the, it is a grocery store where I've spotted the, the most celebrities, including Mel Brooks, which was quite a siding.

I was like, his handler. He wasn't just a different old Jewish. No, he had a handler with him, and it was definitely Mel Brooks, and he really didn't, should have been home. But anyway. So our generation ruined by the revelation that even diet soda makes you fat and gives you like nerve diseases. Yep.

And so we have been yearning for the delicious treat of a bubble. soda that won't give you a life-ending illness. Right. And the functional soda has been the latest attempts by the market to do that. And they get to charge more because they use like probiotics and various like exotic natural sweeters. And they took the red dyes out of it or whatever. Right.

I wanted to see how far down this rabbit hole I could go. Okay. So this was the most expensive cans I could find at Gelson. Oh my God. This is not just your normal soda. These are kin euphorics. What? What?

What? A functional beverage for modern rituals. What? I got two flavors. One is Kin Bloom, which advertises a sense of beaming joy. And Jackie, what is yours saying? Oh, mine is Lightwave. And it says grounding calm.

It says sparkling notes of lavender vanilla, smoked sea salts, and passion flour. Mead mind calming ingredients to mellow your own and help you to transcend stress. think naked forest bathing at midnight, which is great because it's the middle of our workday. And I'm always hoping for a little bit more of naked forest bathing at midnight in my day. This is an eight-ounce can. Do you know how much this cost me?

How much was this? $5 a can. Wow. Jake, I feel like I need to vendor you back for this. No, no, I need to know. Put alcohol in it. No, there's no booze in it. I'll open this one.

Do you want, I mean, we'll both pour a little bit. Yeah. But I'm trying the beaming joy. I just feel like you shouldn't drink that. Like, I feel like that's not something that should be available for drinking. Beaming joy, I would drink it. Yeah, but Lightwave is bright orange. It smells like a gym sock, mine does.

Oh. Hold on, wait, wait, wait. Let me just, all right, I'm clearing out the sniffer. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, it's going to taste so bad. Ew, right? Ew, ew, ew, me.

Ew, ew, ew. This is so nasty. You know, mine smells better than yours. Okay, wait. It sounds like one of those brooms you get at home goods that's just crammed with spices. Yes, it smells vaguely, randomly spicy. All right, cheers. Cheers.

Let's try our weird drinks. Oh, my God. Oh, it's going to taste so bad. Okay, okay, okay. Oh my God, have I transcedent. Am I in it? Are you healthy? Who am I?

Yeah, I'm like, I'm peaceful. There's a calm that is waved over me. I'm... Oh, okay, and she's out. And she's out. I got to say, this taste, it's very little carbonation to the point where it feels, it tastes more like flat soda.

Horrible, yeah. It tastes like, like, some hippie herbal tea that you got, Like you bought because you were like, you have an actual health problem, but you can't afford actual medicine. So you went to the hippie store and bought some bad herbal tea. But then sweetened not enough. Yeah.

There's no sweetness to it. There's almost no carbonation to it. It just tastes like flat gym sock. Water. And we are switching right now. I'm going to try the beaming joy. And I am trying. grounding calm lightwave.

And both are just brown, just like a brown color. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. It's bad but different. It's bad in completely different ways.

Oh my God. I am not beaming. Or unless I'm beaming with piss because that's what I feel like I just put in my mouth. This tastes like I just like passed by a licorice bush and just put my whole mouth into the bush and just chomped down.

Yeah, and it, like, breathed into your mouth. Like, it's like the backwash of a licorice. That, this is horrible. And people keep drinking these sodas. I keep trying. People give it to me between that. And I feel like I also haven't found, like, a kombucha out here. Everybody's like, but the kombucha, put the kombucha, put the kombucha.

And then I try it. And I'm like, are you all lying to yourselves? I've tried. And I'm into fermented things. And I've tried. I've tried the, everybody I know. Oh, there's sediment in this. Oh, there's sediment in this.

There is all kinds of sediment in this. We got to end the episode. The episode's very long. We got to get out of here. I mean, we'll post on social media. Both of us are just like flying after this somehow. I guess, but also give me a picture, Jake. Keep me posted if unbridled joy comes to you.

Please, beaming. Yeah, we're beaming. If we're drinking both the calm and the joy, we are going to have a very weird afternoon. Yep, yep. So we'll see, never check out, Kinn. Never purchase them. I'm sorry if you were a creator of Kyn. And if you want to change our mind, I guess you can send us more.

But I don't know why you would. So, wow, we're going to get out of here. Thanks so much, Jake. We love you, Jakey, Jakey, for joining us. I love Jakey Slakey's. I really, it's a beautiful addition to the show. and as are you. And thank you so much for joining us today.

Check out Nerd of Mouth. We get Nerd of Mouth on... Mondays. Mondays. Wow. I knew that. Patreon. Patreon.com slash Nerdomouth.

And I do a Twitch stream on Thursdays at 7 p.m. Easter. We watch weird bad cartoons from the 80s, 90s, and 2000s. I would love it if somebody came into chat and was like, hey, I heard you on page 7. I'm checking this out. My God, I didn't know Scooby-Doo could throw it back like that. And that's, you know, the classic experience we have in here. You watch, like, like, porn?

No, it turns out that, like, the writers, animators, producers, directors, just like everybody involved in making children's television up until 2005 were, like, weird, coked-up perverts. Aha. I mean, I mean, red and stimpy. Anyway, thank you so much, Jake, and thank you so much, MJ. And for everybody out there, my name is Jackie Zabrowski. And if you made it this far into the podcast and you didn't know I was Jackie Zabrowski, Honestly, mazel.

And you can find me over on Instagram a check that worm, and you can come and get me. Oh, so many places. You want to be bitching? Hit me up. Who's the bitch.com. You can get at me in multiple ways in Kara Clank and I can help you.

Do you want to see me get to do vampire improv where everybody is telling me I'm giving Natasha Leone and I'll take it? Check out Vembaugh, the masquerade bloodbubes. And yes, we do the vampire improv, but not with the fangs in. They wouldn't let me put the fangs on, and it's probably for the best. It's fantastic.

The first episode dropped. Second episode by this time this comes out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fantastic. And also, if you want to see, oh my God, Jake, Jake is in the fourth episode, and I'm not going to say anything else. Poor, it's good capture it. No, it's, I, you God, you did such a great job.

Everybody, I hope you're checking it out. That's over on you. YouTube.com slash at LPNTV and those are dropping for you every Wednesday. And, but also we got a bunch of shit over on the Patreon, guys. You can check out our Patreon, patreon.com slash page seven podcast. We've got our Jackie's book club where they are reading Club Dead, the third Suki Stackhouse book. Oh my God.

Oh, it's so good. It's getting very horny over there. We've got celebrities. We've got Buffy. And of course, you can always email us. at page 7 podcast at e-mail.com. We do love your emails.

We love hearing from you. And Jake, we love you. Thank you for coming on page 7. Come back soon. Always a blast. Always a treat. We will see you guys tomorrow. Have a great week.

And we'll see you guys tomorrow. Bye, everybody. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to,

go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.