Page 7 - Summer of Fun? w/ Carolina Hidalgo

Episode Date: July 11, 2025

This week Jackie and MJ are joined by LPN's own attempted hot dog eating champ Carolina Hidalgo as Jojo Siwa serenades P7 with Betty Davis Eyes and the return of the man stands where land meets horizon, Joey Chestnut, in the episode we all wanted complete with a Siwupdate, Tori Spelling's ex husband Dean McDermott micromanaged her cooking in the kitchen and she needed a TWO YEAR BREAK from cookin, and Carolina reports a kitchen nightmare of her own! A short Grey's Anatomy breakdown from Carolina, then a condensed version of The List of 'The 50 Best One-Hit Wonders of the 2000s', Blindz, Jackie's Snackies Starts at 1:03:47.302 with an MJ's Munchie Minute at 1:10:22.000, and ends at 1:18:19.774!!! AND MORE!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I think this cover might go out to a one Jojo Siwa. And she'll tease you. She'll need you. Oh, the bad one drive, I'll bless you. She's about coach and now. Take some macal problems. She's got greater gobobos stand on size. He's got many tables.

Oh my God, is JoJo Siwa here? No, that's me. It's Jackie Zabrowski. And, man, MJ started my day by sending me the clip of Jojo Siwa singing Betty Davis' eyes. And yeah, Karolina, we are going to play it for you. But also, MJ, how the hell are you? Oh, man, I'm so glad that Jojo is here with us today to sing Betty Davis'is. Yes.

Yes, hi, guys. It's about time the truth is revealed. Oh, no, we're going to do it. Up top, Carolina? Yeah, you thought that the co-host of No Dogs in Space was Carolina Hidalgo. It's actually JoJo Siwa, but please welcome everybody to the show. Carolina, you have been on page seven before. Yes.

In my stead, but it's been a while, so welcome back. Welcome back. Thank you so much. Welcome. How are you? How is the world of Carolina's brain been? It's been, oh, Carolina's brain has been all kinds of things. Derivying. Has it been terrifying up there?

But I'm having a summer fun. That's why I'm calling it. I'm not saying I'm having fun. I'm just calling it the summer fun. Wait, please. I am having no sun, no smile summer. So please tell me about your summer fun. Maybe you can sprinkle a little bit of your summer fun hash into this dooby,

doby, doby of Jackie's summer. Okay. So so far, I was going to put up a plan and it's been two weeks and I haven't yet, but I will. You got time. And then I will come here and I will tell you about my summer of fun. Love this. Basically, you have fun and your drug of choice will be well butrin. And then I started working out and then that's all you do.

That's summer of fun. You do something good for you. This is what I hear. I hear that the key is antidepressants and exercise. I know. I tried so hard to skirt around that for 40 years almost. It could also mean just taking a 10 minute walk, by the way. It also is just nice.

It's doing something for you. And that could be putting on a face mask. It could be something that is just something that you choose for yourself. That is something you do only for you. Could be meditation. Yeah. You know, it's trying to. Because also, oh, you know, I'm glad that you're bringing this up, Carolina.

Because I will say, I was talking to my therapist yesterday about how I'm trying to lead with joy. And I need to start. It's going so well. I have to start, you know, the direction must have to start. be towards joy and I'm trying to smile and that's why I'm glad that we're have you here Carolina to be able to celebrate. Now we just had a three-day weekend. It was hopefully full of hot dogs. I don't know if you were able to consume any hot dogs, high holy hot dog weekend. I had a little hot dog. A little bit of dog. Now what are we talking on the dog?

It was relish and ketchup and mustard. It didn't really, I didn't really mix it. The balance wasn't really that good, but it's okay. Was it too wet, too dry? It was too, you know what it is? It was like the skin, the actual hot dog was too rubbery on the outside. Oh, no, sloffin of the skin. Yeah. Oh, no.

So I went to the hamburger side. You got you. You know, sometimes I like hot dogs and sometimes I like hamburg. You in the right place. You in the right pocket place. Yeah, baby. Sometimes you just got to loop it up and it's going to taste good no matter what, baby. I completely understand and I did eat quite a few hot dogs over the weekend and hopefully

MJ while at the Statue of Liberty, MJ traversed the Statue of Liberty on the 4th of July. Really? Yeah, I did the most patriotic thing ever. On accident, it didn't mean to, it felt like we were making like a religious journey like on a holiday, you know, like going to the Statue of Liberty on the 4th of July. But we did go with the kids. It was their first time ever on a boat. And much like Philbert from Rocko's Modern Life, they immediately.

we're like, I'm nauseous. And I was like, I, me too. Me too. My God, they are your children, huh? They are. They see something moving and they get nauseous. They are. And I replicate what my mom says to me about our Irish ancestors experience.

And I'm like, imagine how long our ancestors were on a boat before they saw the Statue of Liberty. Months. Good, yeah. I walked up hill both ways on my way to the Statue of Liberty. You just get a pale water and just splashing on your kids. kids and just give them the full experience. Good luck. Yeah, exactly.

But I, you know, I did not have any dogs. Usually I do go to Coney Island on the Fourth of July. And while I've never seen Joey Chestnut in the flesh, I'm always there for the, like, after birth of the Fourth of July. Oh, did you eat it when you found it? Or as it was baking in the Coney sun? Like the chaos, like one time before kids, we were able to make it there early enough in the day that we were at Ruby's on the boardwalk next to Nathan's where the contest was happening. So I have been in the presence of greatness, the greatness that is Joey Chestnut. Welcome back. Joey Chestnut, 2025.

Welcome back. I'm sorry, this isn't really the proper welcome. Now, Carolina, I sent a long video of the intro of Joey Chestnut. I don't know if you got a chance to hear it, but you're about to get a chance to hear it because I think that it was, you know, 1 o'clock in the morning of 4th of July, and Jeff just looked over me and went, did you see the intro to Joey Chestnut for the hot dog eating contest? And I was like, no, I fucking didn't. And then he played this for me.

Adam could be pleased. We are humbled by age, so pulled in. In preparation for the great insults of death. Great insult of death. But there are those who stand immortal. Oh. Not through the grace of heaven,

but through their own triumphs. Oh. I speak of this man. Just, oh, it's just the beginning. Get your gasps a gasping. Because he's got a second to walk and he's got more to say about Joey Chestnut. From the shards of shattered angels.

Shattered angels. I wasn't the only one having a religious experience. So why a sword of righteousness? Ladies and gentlemen, while we must all face the dark mountain of night. You're right. Were there lasers? I hope they were.

Alone in the ruins of our own mind. It is very saddies. He will never fail or fall. Smoke a machine. No, he will defies the ministers of our fate and the limitations of our birth. He will not stop until he stands side by side with the gods. His glory is strung like beads of light.

Beads of light! To adorn the arc of history itself. Yes. Yeah! Standing on the shoulders of giants we are. And the fact that we get to witness his greatness. Right. During this our Lord's year of 2025, he is the light.

He is the beacon that we needed and we didn't know it. I am renewed. What no smile summer. What no sun summer. I got to get out there. I got to get me a dog, everybody. Yes, everyone needs a dog. One dog in each hand, I'd say.

dog for every, I'm, you know what I'm saying? Two to three to four dogs every person. And yeah, that shaves, what, hours off of your life? Because now they've bumped it up, Caroline. I don't know if you know they bumped it up from eight minutes. They used to say every hot dog took eight minutes off your life. Now I think they're saying it takes like three hours off your life. Nitrates, right?

Right, right. They'll kill you. Apparently. Well, you know, this is a big deal. You could eat the impossible ones, but it's a big deal. that he's back this year because the Impossible dogs, I don't know if they have less nitrates, I don't know if they take years off your life.

I think they're delicious. But of course, this return was so religious and so triumphant. We definitely know the impossible dogs are much better for the environment no matter what. And I know the people like, they're not good for you. It's like, yeah, I know. I don't care. Surprise. I'm not usually eating a hot dog because it's good for me. No, no,

I'm eating half of it's for the condiments. Obviously, thank you. Part of it is also for the ease of just putting it down your gullas. Oh, yeah. It gets in there. Slide it right. It's so true.

It really is a vessel for the condiments, especially as a pickle person myself. But, but yeah. So Joey was banned last year. We talked about this a lot last year because of his partnership with Impossible. And because Nathan's, whatever. Nathan's doesn't even offer. It's not like Nathan's is like we too have a great meatless dog. Because if they did, then I could.

But anyway, so this was his. How can they go against the like, the, like, The Impossible. I mean, Impossible really has it corner. Now, good luck. I feel like I've tried a lot of them, but the impossible wins me over every time. Yes, Impossible Burger. I'll eat that. I'll eat that at the airport. Oh, dude, so good. Oh, God, thank God for them at the airport. Yes. They do a lot of heavy lifting at the airport. Damn right. But I mean, they're not doing 70.5 hot dogs worth of heavy lifting, which is the amount of hot dogs. They're choy chestnut. Chowy, chosnut, I guess. Oh, oh, I ate too many hot dogs. and now my brain don't work as well, but that's all right.

Nitrates are fine. I feel like nitrates have kind of nestled their way into my brain, like almost like they're cult members. And now they've kind of taken over and I guess they bow down to the world of, but you know, not always processed meat because of the goddamn impossible hot dogs. Jackie's not talking about hot dogs. It's totally fine. Let them live with the microplastics that we got and then let them dance, waltz. And then look at us. We're doing great.

Let them dance. Now, Carolina, you know a little bit about the Nathan's hot dog eating contest. And in fact, you spent some time there. Can you shed some light on it for you? You've gotten even closer than rubies, which is the closest I've gotten. What did it smell like, Carolina? Could you feel his sweat from where you stood? It was, I mean, I couldn't, actually.

I could not. I mean, it really is hard to get to Kobe, to be honest. Oh, yeah. Kobayashi. Oh, yeah. And so, yes, like, it was a long time ago, like in my early 20s, Because you're against the nut. Against the nut.

I was on Team Kobe. Yes, back in the day. Which I completely under, believe me, I get, Kobe Osh was also, I mean, a train, you know? Yes, he was very, like, he just seemed very, like, quiet and reserved, but, like, he was still a monster, a beast, and it was really cool. And my boyfriend at the time, who was a documentary filmmaker, he started following. What boyfriend do you have?

I had a boyfriend before Marcus. No, I did. I did. You shatter our illusions. Oh, it's true. Okay, all right. We kept our clothes on the whole time. Good, thank God.

Years. I thought I was going to cry for the rest of the day. But he's a documentary filmmaker or he was, and so we, so we. So he was bad at it? So we, no, no, no, no, he's totally fine. He's actually, he's very good at it. He's very, very good at. I just don't know.

He's still making movies. You've just lost. So there's a movie he made called Hungry. And so what we did is that we went to. the qualifiers, which is right outside of, you know, one of the, of the Mets Stadium, you see, I'm not even in New York anymore. We were right outside for the qualifier. I was going to say Shay Stadium, but I think it's City Field now. I think it's shitty field for 15 years, Jackie, but yeah, it's Shea Stadium.

It's also Tribor Bridge, you know. Yeah, exactly. Right, right, right. But yeah, so the qualifier was, there was a men's rounds, and that was the serious ones, and then there was a women's one, which is a little less serious. I mean, there are some very strong contenders who are amazing. But then the rest is kind of like, let's just do this for fun, which is what kind of I walked into. Okay. And the qualifier, I think some of the

women qualifiers, like the one, the last one who qualified ate seven hot dogs. And I had two and one bite. So I participated in the competitive aspect. Like you were trying to eat as much as you could. For the qualifier. Yes. Wow. I didn't throw up once. But two and one bite

is actually kind of, the thing is like that's what I would normally do. Oh, right. If I were to graze on a hot dog. Yes. But this is like, oh, you have to do it as fast as you can. Yeah. And that was hard to not die by choking in front of everybody.

They are famously a choking hazard. Yes. Bradlander who was a candidate in the New York City mayoral race recently for his campaign ate a Nathan's hot dog well on the cyclone. And the video is amazing. But I'm just like, choking hazard. choking has, but the Bocazogyn gasert.

You're not even supposed to walk with your toothbrush in your mouth. Oh, I know. I've seen that Rescue 9-1-1. If you guys watch Rescue 9-1-1, you know why. No, but I have heard horror stories about walking while using a Q-tip, and I understand that you're not supposed to use a Q-tip, but also never be walking while using a Q-tip, everybody. That's a good point.

But please continue. Well, I just, yeah, the idea of competitive eating to me, as we talk about this every year, I'm a slow bites type of person. Slow bites. Small bites. Slow. I take my time. The idea of being rushed to, even rushing through a meal or even expected to clean my plate,

that sends me into an absolute spiral. And so this competitive eating is my worst nightmare. But I'm so impressed that you tried it. Yes. Kind of walked into it. So you just had to, did you put toppings on it? Like, what would, do you have a strategy? Or were you just like,

normal person eating hot dogs as fast. I was kind of a normal person. No, there's no toppings because you don't have

time for that and also your stomach is not going to enjoy all that. So you're supposed to dip, you know, the bun into water. I couldn't,

I couldn't bring myself to do that. So I would just like eat the hot dog and then eat the bun as fast as I could and then just like go back and forth

until like whatever was less gaggy. Wow. And I just thought it would just be a fun experience to try and I knew I was like to tail in.

I don't even think I even made it to like the photo, you know what I mean? I'm on the other side of it. They didn't even let you be in the photo. No, I'm not even in the photo. And they give out the hot dogs at the end of it. So I could, I actually like grabbed another one afterwards because I lost. Whoa.

Oh, I eat a post dog. Now, consolation prize. If you were to choose, and this question is for both of you, if you were to choose a competitive eating food, what would you choose that you think that you could really get a lot in your gullet? I got it. Hit me. Oh, man. But I would, I would want to make a.

a challenge. I would say popcorn. I love popcorn. Chopsticks. Done. Let's do it. Let's do it. Popcorn with chopsticks. At worst, you're coughing out the kernels. You're not choking on anything. It is another choking hazard. It's another choking. It's a high

choking hazard food. I can't dry. I'll eat popcorn. I can't do that. There's just a lot of moving parts in the popcorn, I feel like. I think that after you're like four years old, these things become less of a concern, but I'm currently trying to figure this out, like, can I?

Because, like, you really, they really drill in the fear of choking hazards too when your kids are young, understandably. And so now I'm like, am I allowed to give tortilla chips unsupervised now? You know, like, but they're all the best foods are choking hazards, hot dogs, popcorn, tortilla chips. Mozilla sticks. I feel like I still choke. I still actively choke on mozzarella sticks like a dog eating a mozzarella stick. I don't chew the cheese enough. And it's like you have to chew it and not just swallow it like a dog woman.

Enjoy your food. I just remember, I feel like that's what like happens in my head. I hear the enjoy your food, which is what was always said if we were eating too fast. It's like, hey, stop. Enjoy your food. Yeah. Rather than just shoving it into. But, you know, sometimes you got to swallow a mozzarella stick hole or else you're not going to smile on a Tuesday.

Okay? Yeah. Sometimes you just got to get it in there. That's true. Now, MJ, what are we talking? What are you going to be able to slam down a bunch of? I was going to do, I was going to like chicken out and say like, you know, cucumbers or grapes or something. Well, that's not chicken out.

That would be like a chicken tender or something. Come on. All the water really does fill you up. So I'm going to go, I'm going to take a slight detour from Carolina suggested. I'm going to say chips because I do think we all know how easy it is to put away a bag of, I put away an entire bag of dill pickle chips last night. and I'm not talking an individual serving. So I think that's nice.

Yeah. Yeah. That's a flex at this age. And you're like, I'm not having a bellyache right now. Although you did not follow it up with that. So I'm not going to ask if you have a belly ache right now. No, I'm good. I'm good.

But yeah, so I think that it would be, I think that salty, crunchy snacks would be the way to go. That's what you're huffing down there? Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I'm just, I'm looking at Joey Chesson. And now he looks just like such a nice, normal person. except for all the photographs of him eating the dogs, which make me feel like puking so much.

It really does, but I'm just so proud of him. And it is not something. As someone that, like, I've known some competitive eaters, and it is a difficult business. Yes. It really puts you quite through the ringer, and especially the person that I knew did a lot of, like, feeder, gainer porn stuff, too.

And like that whole world of it as well. of that, yes. Of like, of eating in that capacity while also training to be a competitive eater was such a, I was just fascinated asking her questions about the entire experience because it does weirdly go hand in hand, I guess hand in mouth or hand and hold. Really just depends on whatever it is that you've got going on. All I know is, we support you here on page seven. Now, I don't mean to turn this boat back around to Jojo Siwa. I, just because up top, we did drop a little bit of, if you're wondering why I said that this goes out to Jojo Siwa.

If you haven't checked out the Jojo Siwa version of Betty Davis eyes that she dropped yesterday, today, like this week, wherein she is, like she's dressed as a traditional, like, Trad wife singing like, I'm going to say it's similarly to the way that I sang up top of the episode. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. She's been making some interesting. She does. We've been talking about her here on page seven. We've been following, you know, the choices she's been making. It's definitely one of those that I feel like I am watching as a queer aunt just being like, before you talk it into a microphone

but we think about it first let's talk about these things I do have a question about Jojo Siva I want to see if I got her origin story right she was part of like some sort of pageantry dance moms dance moms dance moms that show dance moms right yeah okay gotcha and then she got older and then you know went to pop star route

right and but then the way she claimed to have created queer pop Oh, she did. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Judy Garland is like, I wish someone did this. We've been waiting for somebody to come along and give us some kind of music.

Yeah. Shear is like pissed. But because of her past and her relationship with dance moms and specifically she was like kind of a staple of the, how you say, creepy Christian lot. No, like the, like, she was very, she was coming from like the, like the Christian family values world. And so then when she came out, it was like this big controversy because, you know, she was not, she was very, like, for her, I think the gay pop thing, the generous interpretation of her claiming to have invented gay pop was that she, I don't think was really ever really around queer communities until coming out. And then, like many. Oh, yeah. of us are like a little baby born anew looking around at all the weirdness and feeling really excited.

And so it's been kind of, I went from being like kind of irly to her to being like, oh, look at you go. But as this happens with anyone who's this young and in the spotlight for this long. She says some things that you're just like, please don't. Oh, really? Oh, it's just one of those things. Yeah. And she's on a journey.

And so she has, yeah, she has said some, she got a lot of gaffes, a lot of gaffes. And, you know, this Betty Davis thing, I don't know, whatever. I don't really have any take on her. A lot of people are like, oh, she was once so butch and now she's so femme. And it's like, that's certainly par for the course. You can experiment with all those looks. Any person can contain multitudes. Yes.

That's fine. That's not. I think that's fine. No. Yeah, go ahead, Jackie. I do find it interesting in this time period when, like, essentially what's happening right now is she is exploring. herself more. She is currently dating a man and she openly said like, fuck the hell, I'm a

cue now because she's a child and is probably, I don't think that she was saying that against the world of lesbians. I think that for her, she was, it was bad rhetoric. People were like, why, you got to say it that way. Why do you say it that? Yeah, it was a clumsy stumbling through things into like at all times. Yeah. I guess that's why my question is then, like why are you doing this whole like tradwife thing? Retro thing, then retro, right? Like, I guess I don't. Because now she's also openly saying, like, all of this has been created.

Like, I am, you know, a person that is exploring themselves, but like all of the drink, like, she's been like, drinking fireball on stage and like getting drunk at Disney World. And. All right, I'm not going to judge that because we've all been there. We've all been there. We've all been there. But I don't know if we do it like in front of a number. audience. This is the thing. But apparently all of that, she says, has been fake.

Like, the partying aspect, she's like, all of it has been, like, them trying to mold her. And so she is really trying. And so also part of this is her, like, feeling like she's exploring herself for actually the first time. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

So I see that because coming from, like, a world of pageantry of, like, everyone just kind of telling you what to do. Yeah. It's like she's kind of trying to figure out, like, how to make a choice. Yes. And we're watching her do it in real time. Yes. Yes.

And because of the way that being famous now works in this kind of constant feedback loop, Hilaria Baldwin is the best example of this. Every video Hilaria Baldwin makes is an immediate response to the criticism she got of her previous videos. So we're in this like dialectic of Hilaria Baldwin like at all times. And Jojo's same thing. Jojo's like, I made karma. This article this week is like her being like, I made karma, which was like her big kind of breakout. an adult now song. And then everybody kind of was like, this is lame. And she's like,

I'm not lame. I'll drink fireball on stage. And then everyone was like, that's lame too. And she's like, okay, then what if I do this? So the poor, I mean, whatever, we, people can like her or dislike her. But she's, she's trying to, at the age that you are trying to find yourself as a person, she's also trying to find herself as a star. And she's coming from this like, I couldn't be gay and then I am gay. And then I was really gay. And I'm still gay. But now I'm also in a relationship with a man and I'm discovering queerness and I'm exploring pronouns and all of this all of this stuff and

so yeah we here at page seven have tried to figure out what's our relationship with Jojo and I think that really when it comes down to it her singing Betty Davis eyes she just has a very interesting voice you know and I also have

a very interesting voice so I get it you know I completely you know I completely get it as someone that has been criticized for their voice their entire life. Like, I don't want to make fun of her voice. It is just, it is at this point, the Betty Davis eyes and the way in which she's saying it is a choice.

It's a choice. It is a choice. Okay. Wow. Wow. And she had producers and everything on this. Oh, certainly. Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. And everyone's like, yeah, this passes muster. Keep going. Yeah. I guess this means we're going to get more Jojo. And we'll just keep watching. Them as they navigate the waters out there.

And I will say as someone that did also grow up in front of a microphone on a much smaller way over on the roundtable. Yeah, sometimes you say things in ways of being like, because I'm different now. And you don't understand me and I'm mysterious. And it's like, do we not all remember being 21 years old? Like, do you remember the things? Right. Absolutely. Yes.

And I think that's why. And at some point, I know. that we have to be like, but she also is growing up and needs to grow the fuck up. And she does she? How old is she? She's 22. 22.

Oh, that's fine. And it's been in the celebrity sphere since she was a kid. So it's like, I feel like that is, I know that while that is a different 21 than we grew up with. Still, we were still exploring ourselves. And I guess that's why I shouldn't,

I probably shouldn't feel this much about someone I don't know. But I do feel like an auntie of sorts. So it's watching just being like, okay, all right, well, that's a misstep. Get back up. Get back up. All right. Let's get the dust off of you. Okay, okay.

Stop, so, so, so, all right, yeah. That was a choice. But get back out there, bitch. All right. We're still going to make, we're going to, as long as we're making, you know, positive things that don't hurt anybody, then it's good. But I'm with you on that, Jackie. On both with both of you guys, I'm totally with you guys because I know you're trying to

root for these people. You're trying to root for people who are trying their best. And these are, you know, maybe they're close. queer, they're probably queer, they're women, they're people of color, they're all kinds of people who are rooting for them. And then when they do something that you, like, know that you've learned that lesson back in 2012. Come on.

And you just kind of want to help. I get it. I understand. Please. But you know who wasn't allowed to make mistakes? Whoa. Skapien flounder? No, Tori Spelling in the kitchen with her ex-husband Dean McDermott.

Oh, yeah. I really need to talk about this because everybody here is married and I need to talk about this. Tori Spelling, who obviously, speaking of mistakes, has made a number of them. She's made a couple of them. I've heard, I followed it,

especially when she changed husbands, right? And I watched that movie that I don't remember watching it. So it's like I didn't watch it. But then I kind of lost the, I kind of got lost in it. They have since broken up. Yeah. They have since broken up.

They have many children together. They were together. So she was with Dean McDermott for quite a long time. they have a number of children together. But she was, so she has a, she loves to make puns on her last name in her books and her podcast. So she has a podcast called Miss Spelling, which is also, I think the name of her book. But she was talking about how when they were together, he had like professional chef, even though he was an actor, he had like professional kitchen training. He was like a, he knew how to do things very well in the kitchen.

So when. surprise, an actor that has, oh my God, me too. How did we get this? Yeah, right. By not being an actor for a very long time. But so he, because he was like a fancy kitchen boy, would like, whenever they were in the kitchen together, he would like be like trying to teach her, like, that's not how you do it. No, you do it this way. Like teaching technique and stuff. And constantly correcting her and being like, actually, if you're going to make that kind of vinegar at, like, I would do it this way. And like, so going like constantly on her when they were cooking, micromanaging. Micromanaging.

And so after they broke up, she says she did not cook for two years because she was kind of triggered by it. And also like their last big fight happened in the kitchen. But I just, my husband is not like that. I think if anything I might be like, I might be the one like, you're going to make an ingrat? What are you putting in it? You know, like, but I just, this, this really resonated with me the like somebody

cooking over your shoulder and telling you what to do. like that would also lead me to divorce. I don't do that and I will say because this is something that has just been discussed with my husband many times of just like a, I'm just going to do it. You know what? If it's in the kitchen, I'm just going to do it because I am that person. And it is the kind of thing that the moment Jeff enters the kitchen, I now just leave the kitchenal area. And I just go, you do we got to get done? because I am going to be like, oh, why?

Are you doing, you know, you don't, you know, right. But I have to remember. And what he usually says is, hey, I lived 31 years just fine before I met you. And I was alive and I knew how to feed myself. I can do it. And I'm just like, you're right. Yeah. Yeah, doesn't really break my brain when you use the whisk in that bowl when it's not supposed to use that whisk on that bowl?

but I now know to back away from it. But it's also because we talked about it. Here's the thing. I read this and also Tori, this maybe could have been, you know, could have been like something that grew over time. But sometimes you've got to be like,

hey, stop doing that so that you can continue on being a couple. But we let stuff like that fester so it becomes a much bigger problem. Right. You're right. You got to get to it before it. That's absolutely true because my problem is not, it's actually very different.

Marcus, my husband, he didn't know how to cook when we met. So the whole thing is like, I've been alive 31 years until I met you. I was surprised how he managed to make that happen. In his case, just barely. Just barely. Pickle dinner, anybody, remember? We had pickled dinner. Yes, we actually, we did.

And I do remember one time when I stayed at his place in bedstom, and he had to leave to record something and I had like the morning off and I like wanted to clean up a little bit his you know and I looked under the bed and there was leftover Chinese food that he had eaten and that he was just like well I just didn't want

like I didn't want to go outside I didn't want to leave my room so I just put it under the bed because the trash can is full and I was like oh Jesus Oh my God but he has changed he has changed it's been 10 years Wow he better have changed in 10 years And so so now now our Our biggest problem, though, which I don't know if you guys can relate to this, is that he knows how to make two things.

Steak and pork chops, right? Like sometimes some guys just know how to do these things. Oh, I love this. That is a classic, like, yeah, like my dad do how to make BLTs, like really good BLT. It's like, I feel like that is a classic thing. Like I got a signature dish, you know. My dad had chili. Yeah.

And whenever he would make chili, he would destroy the entire kitchen. And I don't know. My mom would be like, how is that chili on the ceiling? Yeah, yeah, oh, yes, yeah. But my issue with him was like, I mean, I don't mind having steak every now and then, and he makes dinner and stuff like that. But me making dinner is like making a whole dinner and everything, and I put the whole thing together.

I set the table. He makes dinner and I have to make the sides, right? I got to make potatoes. I make a salad. He doesn't know. He doesn't know how to do the dressing. It doesn't mean that he doesn't know. He just doesn't want to learn.

Yeah. And then I got to, you know, steam some broccoli. I got to set the table. I got to get to set it out. All he does is put a pan on the stove. And then he fries it and he flips it over maybe once. And then when we're done eating, he's like, okay, I made dinner. Time for you to wash dishes.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I made three out of four things here. No, no, no, no. I made three out of four things. No, no, no, no. Otherwise, I'm going to flip over that stage. And I'm going to make it an impossible stare. Yeah.

I, you know, I will say that as having a husband that does not touch the kitchen, he does all of the cleaning. Oh, that's nice. That is our agreement, though. That is what we, like, he's like, I understand that you're going to get like this. So I'm also going to remove myself from the equation and I will do all of the cleaning. And I'm like, that works great for me. That's wonderful.

He should come over. Jeff should come over to our house anytime. He'll teach. Yeah. He'll teach him how to do it. And then it'll be just like Katie Perry and Orlando Bloom because Katie Perry, I mean, you know, now they're going through a divorce, but I will say every time you wash the dishes, she'd give him a blowjob. And apparently this is how you do it. Yeah, you can keep that trick in

your back pocket. I mean, before we had a dishwasher, Gideon and I were in a constant game of chicken about who was going to do the dishes. It was just like, I mean, yeah, dishwashers save marriages, I think, truly. Tishwashers or, I don't know, or it could break one. Yes, it does. It does. I have to say because what he does when he cleans, he puts literally, Everything in a dishwasher, wooden spoons, glass things, anything at all. You had to rinse it off. I'm the man in the relationship. Everything can go in there.

Turns on the dishwasher and then it cleans. And then the next morning he's like, Carolina, it's time for you to put it all away. And I'm like, what the hell did you do? It's caked. It's caked with stuff because you didn't rinse it off. You put stuff in another place. That's all you did.

That's all you did. You need to clean. Yes. Sorry. Thank you. You got to get it out. This is why we have. See, this is how you avoid the path of Tori's spelling.

Exactly. This is the platform. You bring it to. We got to get these things off our chest because here's a thing. I know right now I can feel the necks of thousands of partners going up and down. I'm like, yes, yes, bitch, preach it, yes. And so we appreciate the rage here because this is the platform for it. We have to get these things out, you know?

Yeah. I feel bad because we've gotten this far into this episode, and we haven't even gotten to you talking about Gray's Anatomy yet. And I know that this is your ride or die currently. Oh, my God. In the way that I've been experiencing Love Island, which yes, Sierra did finally get kicked out of the house. And I did need to say it on here that she got kicked out of the house, the internet.

Justice made it happen. Thanks to you and you talk about Love Island when I logged into Twitter and saw that the trending that Sierra has left the villa was trending. I was like, oh, I know that, I know what that means. But yeah, Carolina, tell us about your relationship with Grey's Anatomy, because I've never watched it. I love a medical drama. Okay.

I don't know, I, I, somehow, how, 30 years, however it's been on, however long it's been on, I have just not fucked with it. So is it, not a one episode. Not a one. Is this like your, what to me and many, I think is like, Lawndor SVU, you put it on to fall asleep. You've seen every episode many times. like that kind of situation.

Okay, yes. My situation is very, it's actually, it's kind of a relationship I have with this show, which a lot of people do, and I've noticed this a lot, where you kind of fall in somewhere,

you know, in your teenage years or whatever. I remember being in high school and watching this, right? And then you forget about it. And then the next thing you know, you're watching it all on Netflix. And then you watch it all over again.

Yeah. And then you, I'm keeping up on it. I think they're on season 19, 20, at this point. It's still on? more than that. Oh, it's still on, MJ. Oh, yeah. And I'm still watching it because I'm trying to watch the characters through because I need to see the end of this. It's driving me insane. Right. And everyone, all the message boards, the subredits,

they always light up of like, I'm sick of this, just end our misery right now, just end the show right now. And so I recently started a rewatch and I introduced Marcus to Grey's Anatomy. And I was like, just watch this. It's really stupid. But, you know, if you need like a day to just shut down your brain and, and see like pretty people talk up close, like, this is your show. Hell yeah.

In a lot of gore. It's very, very gory. Yes. Which is really, really fun. So it's like, drama, sex, gory. Like, and Mark is like, okay, so I mean. Yeah. And then he's like, he watched it.

I was like, okay, just watch it all the way until like the bomb, the bomb in the body episode, which is a big one with Christina Richie. Whoa. And so he did. And then afterwards he's like, let's, and that was like season two. And he's like, can we go to season three? And now we're on season. 12.

Uh-oh. And he's obsessed. He's obsessed. I mean, first of all, he's like, I hate Owen. I used to love Owen. These are things you're not going to understand right now because it's a whole other language. There's so much. But let me tell you, I, yes, I unfortunately know everything about that show.

That's great. And we're talking. Somebody's got to. It's a network show too, right? So we're talking, what, 25 episodes a season? Like that. Some like that. Yeah.

448 episodes across 21 seasons. And yes, according to, as a. On May 15th, 2025, it was renewed for a 22nd season. There you go. You see, I could have written a book in that time, but no, I needed to shut off my brain. Hell yeah. And watch pretty people talk. Hell yeah.

Because they always do like their moment. And there's always a moment. And they do run on sentences all the time. And like, and I love you. And I'm thinking, and I think I love you. But I know I love you. Because I hate you because I love you. And it should be called end.

because that's the whole show. And also, also there are medical things that happen, just so you know. But they kind of forgot about it after a while. But is it like pit level where then you're watching it and then you're like, oh, I'm a doctor. Like let me in. I'm a doctor. No. Okay.

It's the opposite of that. Actually, I do, but I know it's probably not right. So that's why I always say on my level of expertise of TV, you know, medical procedures. Because right now I'm almost done with ER. I did a whole run through of ER for the first time. I do. I want to do that. That sounds really fine.

It is very good. I would say the first four seasons, fucking spectacular. We've been wanting to do a rewatch here. I remember the doctor, what's his name? Dr. Romano and the helicopter and the arm. Yes. That's where we jumped the shark. Yes.

When you guys get to that, I'm coming back because I have a lot of thoughts. I love this. About this. Cannot wait. And about the deaths and how, why would you kill people all the time? It just drives me nuts because in my head they're dead And that sucks maybe for their career Because I'm like no I mean if I were a casting director

I'd be like too bad T.R. Knight is dead You know too, you know like I would think they were actually dead Right right right right like Dr. Green where's Dr. Green gone? I don't know haven't seen him since Yeah he died he died in paradise Oh my god Brain cancer Yeah I know I think about it too often I think that that really did break my child brain

Yeah, that was like the end of my child. Like, say with Dr. Romano, when ER jumped the shark was the end of my childhood. It also coincided with adolescence. But like, I was like, this is the magic's over. The magic's over of ER, the magic's over of life. Well, speaking of magic, then, check out Gray's Anatomy because magic is actually what they use for the five main characters of the seasons. They call it the magic era. M for Meredith.

A for Alex. G. Oh, wait. I thought you were going to pivot into like pen and teller conversation, which also I could take down very easily. George. Speaking of magic. She is George.

Yeah, Gis George, Izzy and Christina, my favorite. So, yes, so there is actual, like, I don't know if you can call it literal magic, but there is an anagram magic. I think you can call it literal magic. Yeah, I think we're going to call it literal magic. You should definitely watch it. And remember, you know, some of it is very, like, There are times when you're like, I just don't understand how people could actually do this.

And then you realize like, this is, this is another world. This is another world. This is a whole other universe. It doesn't matter. Let them, let them do this, okay? Let the friends, done switch husbands sometimes. We talk about the melania. We're letting them, okay.

We're just going to let them, okay. Jackie and I are bringing the let them theory into our lives. Every time we want to just roll our eyes, we go, let them. Yes, let's see, let's see. You know, the home. Young Frankenstein, remember, he goes, let's see, let's see, let's see. Letter, letter.

That's what you say. I don't know what the language that isn't, but it is true. Let them, let them. We were talking about Mel Robbins is this big person on like TikTok and in like socials that their whole theory is a let them theory

where it's like people are going to be upset, people are going to be saying bad things. Let them, let them. Oh, they're going to say this about you. They're going to judge it. Let them. And it is an interesting theory, but also right now it is difficult to look at everything and say let them.

You know, that's fine. I think it's good when it comes in terms of like if someone's judging you or someone is criticizing. I think that's good. But, you know, they just, you know, and then all of a sudden you blink and you watch a new hope and you're like, oh my God, this is what's happening in real life. Wait, Star Wars? Yeah, I just watched a new hope. Oh, wow. Technically for the first time, but also for the second time.

But to be fair, the first time I watched it was in the Dol. of quarantine and I think that I was on I was I was I was I think either drunk or stoned and I kept falling asleep and I didn't understand what was going on and then I rewatched it last night completely sober and turns out it's a pretty good movie and you're looking at the empire and you're just like let them yeah let them Darth let him all that magic weird dude that he just keeps bringing in because he's an advisor of sort let him yeah slay king and I I mean I mean Slay, I mean Alderan, up in flames. I love this.

I love this for you, actually. Thank you. Thank you. It's because I watch Andor and now I care about the Rebel Alliance. So it's really, now I'm in it and I understand fascism. But before we talk about fascism, it is time for the list. Oh, who's on the list? Jesse.

Got a hat list. Yes. The 50 best one hit wonder. of the 2000s. No, don't worry. We're not going to go through all 50 of them. But I, weirdly enough, am upset that number 50 is, so you had a bad day, take a birthday. You bring this song up a lot, Jackie. I feel like you bring this up on page 7 at least once a year. It's because this song, Bad Day, fills me with such a rage that nothing can make me have a bad day quicker than hearing the song Bad Day by

Daniel Pouter by the way. Oh, okay. I was wondering who that was. Daniel Pouter is the one that sings the song. We never knew. We never will know ye. No, and you're damn right. But I will give us the top 10,

according to Rolling Stone, and you can take that or you can leave that. Number 10, the click five, just the girl. Don't remember that song. Number nine, Lumidi, never leave you. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. See, this is a problem.

I'm reading off the names of these because I believe that this was a user submitted list but I need to hear the song to know the name I'm sure everyone's like you know that song you fucking know that song you're right I bet I do but I don't remember

the name of the song Okay yeah this is tough Crazy Town Butterfly Is that Shifty Shell Shock Jackie? Yes Yes come money come on it Oh man Sugar baby that's number seven

And I will say recently I think that we did see the guy from Crazy Town saying some bad stuff. He died. He died. He died. He died. He died. But then all of a sudden. But then also in that people were like, posthumously. He was also saying a bunch of rough stuff.

Oh man. Number six. My neck. My back. Lick my pussy and my crack. By the way. Is that a one-hit wonder? I feel like that's like a generationally defining song. Kia. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, that song's great. I remember that song. Number five, Hubistank.

I found a reason for me To change who I used to be Y'all know I was dogging on the stank y'all They had another hit though Oh I remember calling in the song Another hit that's Lincoln Park, how dare No, Hube Stain was not a one hit, it was not a one hit

It was not a one hit, everyone knew the stank All right and I don't remember this song Don't remember this song, don't remember this song and now, man, weirdly enough, talk about the song that makes me think about Marcus faster than any other song. Okay. I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby.

Yeah, I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby. Why does that make those about Marcus? To Iron Maiden, baby with me. I think because many, many, many years ago on page seven, I remember distinctly singing this song, and Marcus and I just lost our minds in singing about it. I think it had something to do with us being very drunk while recording many of the hundreds of first episodes of page seven. And I think that, like, we just got really into it. And then for some reason, Marcus and I listened to teenage dirtbag multiple times.

Like we would chain smoke multiple packs of cigarettes in between recording episodes and we would just talk about everything. So usually we would listen to that song while chain smoking getting hammered before the next episode. That sounds awesome. That sounds like a great time. Yeah, man. I mean, we were really destroying ourselves quickly. Yeah, I can't do that. But I wish I could like Holo Deck do that.

Yeah. You know, kind of do that. Exactly. You know, or experience the happiness that used to come from doing that. because that's not what happens now. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, not in my summer of fun.

No, not in my summer of fun. Weedis is going to play at my party. You're going to be drinking blue drinks. Anything that's blue, you're going to be drinking it. Nice. Put Wheatis on. At the next party you host, Carolina, do me a favor. Put Wheatis on and see what happens.

Everyone will get happy. Everyone would be happy. I think so. Just that one song, though, probably. Just that one. But listeners, you too. Everybody see what next time you'll, have a gathering, just throw

Wetus on the playlist and see what happens and see if everybody gets, it's gonna, I mean, it's no like, it's not gonna be like when don't stop believe it comes on at the bar, but it's going to be like a fraction of that, like everyone's gonna stop their conversation and start listening. Also, bulletproof is not number 15. Fuck off

with this list. I hate this list. Yeah, this list is like this list. Yeah. I think it needs to be an audio list. And all, I imagine, I think they do have the full playlist. I believe it is fully up on Spotify. So pop it on, put a, you know, slap it on shuffle. Let us know what you think, page 7 podcast at gmail.com.

And, you know, it does encapsulate a lot of the 2000s. Don't get me wrong. I just feel like bulletproof I think should be higher on the list. Yeah. Yeah. I'm with it. No, I agree. Completely.

I'm laying it down, everybody. I just remember that song from, I think it was like in a pitch perfect movie or something. And I was like, this is so good. This is so, so good. Watching it at the dry bar getting my hair done. That's another one of those. Pitch Perfect is one of those that I know that I need to watch because everyone's like, you will enjoy it.

They're very good. One is good. Two is perfection. Three is like, it's okay. Really? Especially now that I'm in a choir, you know, now that I'm a choir, bitch. Wait, is it Barbershopat? It's Acapella.

Or is it Acapella. Oh, see. Oh, yeah. I think we were like, all like much younger. But I think Acapella is fun. I love Racapella. I love, yeah. It was a thing for a while.

I think it was a thing. Oh, yeah. Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? And it kind of went away. And then people got to make fun of a bit. Not as far as I'm alive. All right. Well, but you know what has gone away? My eyesight. I think I'm going. Lined. Items. Ah, we can't see them.

All right. I've got some blinds for you. Carolina, of course, you can phone a friend who is Jackie Zabrowski. She's right next to you if you need help. You guys are going to be guessing these together. Okay, great. But I'm hoping that I have found some that these are both deeply page seven blinds and also, you know, hopefully accessible to all. The desperation of this A-minus list actress to actually get someone to buy her products is crazy. The next thing you know, she will be dressed like a NASCAR driver with her products listed all over it. Okay, so we're talking a A-minus list celebrity who also has a company and she is desperate to try to get people to buy things.

You are, you are, the spirit is right, Jackie, but the star is wrong. Oh, okay. The spirit is right. Is an entrepreneurial A-minus. Wow. Eladia? No. Are we calling her A-minus?

I was going to be like, are we calling Al-A-Mina A-Mina? I know, I know Celina Gomez has some stuff that she says. You're damn right, she does. I would not call her A-minus. No, it's not her. Okay. What would you call her? I feel like she's a-minus.

Is she a minus? Maybe she is A minus. Maybe she is A. Yeah. Hey. No, I would, I don't know. If anything for Selena Gomez, I would say I minus is low. I would call her a straight A. Oh, okay.

Okay. Now that I know where you guys are at, maybe I can start bringing down my idea of celebrities. This person, I think, is less cool than Selena Gomez. And she is a entrepreneur and no one wants to buy her products. Perhaps. Megan Fox? No. No.

No, no. Okay. Perhaps it is due to shit on. It's fine. I don't even know. It's like who's buying Megan Fox's stuff? Like, that's also. Yeah, I don't think she's doing that anyway. You know? Well. I'm sorry, Jay, what are you saying? Okay. So let's see. You know, it's, it's not a buzzball. Those are women owned as well. Yeah. But it is. Oh, but it's boozy. Is it boozy? Blake lively? You got it. Blake lively. It's Blake lively. And her Betty Bowley.

Right. Yes, with the Betty booze and the booze, who's or whatever. She's having a bad year. And nobody wants to buy her canned cocktails. I did buy her canned cocktails as a joke. What do you think? And I drank them. And then I bought them again because I thought they were fine.

But I'd also love a canned cocktail. So I'm not a neutral party on that. Okay. But yeah, her Betty booze. And also, I'm sorry, I think that it's a branding problem because she also sells another product called Betty Buzz, which is non-alcoholic. Non-alcoholic. And Buzz also means drunk.

Yes. I think the people aren't buying it because they don't know whether they're getting the alcohol or non-alcoholic. Yes. And you need to know. Yes. I completely agree with you. But that's true. No one's buying.

Hineken needs to do that too. I got myself an A pack of cans of Hineken. I had to like one day, a few weeks ago, just to relax. And then Marcus looked at it. He's like, hey, do you know these are zero percent alcohol? What? What? I'm not relaxed at all.

I thought, my God. The placebo effect can be pretty good. You see, I mean, honestly, it's kind of nice. It's nice to have an A. Yeah. All right. Okay, blind number two, this is a longer one, but it's real juicy. Okay, we're here.

Dark thoughts. Oh. This A minus list action star, beloved for his wild charm and warrior spirit, is known for being loyal to a fault. So when his recent relationship was set up to boost visibility during a press run, he played along. But months later, he's still stuck in the photo op prison, but not by his choice. The foreign-born actress, you might not know this person's name, but you will be able to, I'll help you with that. Don't worry about that.

The foreign-born actress, he was paired with, is milking it for everything it's worth. Magazine placements, brand deals, even whispers about an engagement. all while he privately begs for it to end. He's fallen for someone else, someone far removed from the spotlight, but his team and hers won't budge. She is even threatened to go public with stories if he walks away now. Sources say the actor has been deeply distressed, breaking down more than once and even confiding in close friends about dark thoughts.

But instead of support, he's getting pressure from PR handlers and a faux girlfriend who doesn't want to lose her momentum. She's playing the long game. He's playing for his sand. Oh, boy. That's a lot of details. It's a lot of details. The problem is the entire time, and this is a problem sometimes with long ones, in that I couldn't think of anyone else.

And so it was so firmly this person that, like, I can't think of anybody else. And that's Hugh Jackman. Oh, you're thinking Hugh Jackman. That would make sense because of the relationship problems he's happened. But no. But so this is she said Warrior. I grabbed on to Warrior. Warrior.

Wolverine. I feel like Wolverine. He's a bit of a warrior. So, Carolina, you're right to notice that word. This is... Russell Crow.

No. And I would say you're colder. Paul Mescal, Gracie Abrams. No. Pedro Pascal. Nope. This is somebody that Jackie loves.

Jackie has loved him for such a long time. Was it Jason Momoa? Yes. Whoa. What? No way. Warrior-esque.

So his current partner, his current girlfriend is Adriya Arjana, who is Bix from Andor. Oh, okay. And so she is allegedly using her relationship with him for this press tour for Andor Season 2, which seems unlikely. This, you know, that seems like holding Jason Momoa hostage to promote Andor Season 2 feels like a weird. Yeah. But that's his, because he had, of course, a very high profile relationship with Lisa Bonnet. And that relationship recently ended.

And so apparently he is being held captive by Bix from Andor's season two. He doesn't seem as someone that, I mean, I've met him a couple times. I will say he doesn't seem the type to get trapped in a relationship. But also, you know, you never know. You never, you know who my to assume. The biggest prisons are invisible. And you're damn right. And you never know what a person is going through.

Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. That's what blinds are for. That's what blinds are for. You never know the veracity of them. And in fact, almost always they are wrong. Whoa.

But this last one, boy, this last one. Okay. Their divorce was hardly the definition of amicable. So we're talking about a high-profile divorce. Okay. It was not amicable, but time heals all wounds and now they're civil. But buckle up, kiddos, it's going to get bumpy. Our guy was seemingly decent during the divorce, giving our gal a lump sum, and she was fine with that.

Until now, the reason she just found out that he is about to inherit a fortune from a long ago deceased relative whose estate was trapped in probate for ages. The legal battles are close to being resolved. our guy will instantly be worth millions. Of course, now she wants a chunk of that windfall. Here are your clues. He's a former A-List. He's a former A-M-M-A-M-A-List, now B-minus list movie actor. She is a C-list TV personality.

This is another one word. It's not Tori spelling? Because I was just like, is it, Tori, is she finally going to get her nut? Is she finally going to get not, I don't say what she deserves. Is she finally going to get what she thinks she deserves? It is not her. I don't, this is another one where, um, the wife is not the higher profile of the two. Okay.

Okay. Okay. I don't even, oh, all, any hint I give is going to really, really, really give it away. Okay. This blind does not even allude. Wait, Caroline, you had something? No, no, no, no. Absolutely not.

Oh, I was doing one of those. I got it. No, I don't. Oh, okay. I'm so sorry. The blind is not alluding to the reason that they got divorced, which was that this actor in question, he was really, he had a movie that everybody loved. He was riding high and then the, we're not even talking Me Too allegations.

We are talking much, much worse than that. He comes from a family of people with really bad allegations. Hammer. Hammer. Oh, man. I saw that documentary about. Like, it's just like that lineage probably needs to go. I mean, I'm not a person of, I don't, I'm not talking about eugenics necessarily,

but like when you see the history of that, it feels like drag cool. Yes. They're going on for your right. It's very drag cool. A castle in Pennsylvania and they made it all the way to America. And it eventually Bermuda or one of the places. They shouldn't,

why are they still going? It's like, oh, because they're pure evil. That's why. He has a movie I heard. I heard he's, yeah, he's trying to come back. Yeah, he's still going.

He's still going. He started a podcast. Yeah. But I love that you're like, I'm not a person. not a person who favors eugenics, but this one family could stand to be wiped out. I mean, if you want to voluntarily. Yeah, just take yourselves out of society, which was what we all thought was going to be happening with him after the various cannibalism allegations.

And then now he's back and he, of course, because he comes from a very wealthy family of cannibals, he now allegedly... No, I think that daddy was just caging women and shitting on them. M.J., please remember the different lineage of what the different hammers did to their captors. Right, right. They weren't all cannibals. Some of them were just torturers. Carly not. Holden brings up all the time that there, I don't know if it was in the doc.

I just remember that we read somewhere that Army Hammer's father, like everybody knew that he had this like sex kink chair that was like a big chair with a big hole in it and a cage underneath that he would put. People in underneath, yeah. Yes, I've heard of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this, and I, holden and I really think about it. No, no, no, no. It's an old practice. There's an under the desk thing.

And then there's also the Matt Lauer, like, really disgusting, like, a Dr. Evil, like closing of the doors with a button or something. Like, oh, my God. You feel like, that's very tunishly. Yeah, it's cartoonishly evil, yes. Well, it's Dr. Evil levels of evil that, like,

I feel like it's, even in not that you would be laughing if you were in that situation. Not so funny at all. But I feel like it is to, like, are you going to take out a hairless cat and start stroking it as well? You know, I feel like when they hit that level. It is very, I mean, maybe that's what the whole life imitating art art and imitating life thing. I mean, maybe that's where we got that from. That's why always be attached to some sort of ejector seat.

This is going to be my new thing. I think that always be ejecting is going to be like my getaway slogan. And you wait, I'm going to be springing out of places before you can say, Jackie, please don't. Kool-Aid man through the walls. Well, I'm just looking at this. Elizabeth Chambers is the wife. She has a show, a new show called Toxic.

And she says that their relationship is doing great in an article from May of this year. Oh, good. Oh, wow. But now she wants it, she wants it on that, you know, cannibal money. And I just, I really thought that Army Hammer was, like, I thought that that, you know, if people say cancel culture exists, but if, if multiple cannibal allegations of cannibalism. No, not for rich people, as we know. And they're like, generationally wealthy. Like, like, she thought that there was, of course there's more money in the fucking banana standard.

You're fucking getting me. No, they were like, they went back, they go back, what, four or five generations? Like, huge, like even, what's his name? Randolph Hearst, John, uh, John. like one of the biggest like magnets of all time he had to like liquidate his like art and they the hammers have to they actually bought a lot of their stuff a lot of the hearst stuff just to let them eat and live and stuff like that so that's how filthy rich they were they were helping out other filthy rich people insane wow see i couldn't crazy i had to stop watching the hammer documentary because it was so upsetting

so i yeah all i remember is the chair um and then i Turn it off. But yes, Jackie, I can see again. Oh, good. Welcome back. Just in time to see that chair that just as I pulled back to the curtains, I'm like, MJ ready to step right up, step right up. Get yourself in the shitting chair.

Right. I won't do that because MJ, I don't think I could perform that well. I don't think that I could have you under there being like, don't shit on me. And then like I'd still be able to do it. Stage fright. Yeah, sage fright. And you know that I would probably also get nauseous because like your children, And I think I would see a situation like that, and I'd immediately just like, well.

I would just start, like, tiny pukin on my own lap. That's okay. On that note, it is time for, oh, no, it's Jackie's Snackie's what Snackie gonna eat today. And, Carolina, thank you so much for joining us here on today's episode of page seven. I wanted to thank you so much that we asked you what kind of snackies you get down on. Yes. And you're more of a chocolate. Yes, I am very much.

Chocolate, and that's it. And that's it. I love chocolate. I love hearing this. Now, I, you know, I'm going to go ahead and admit this to you, Carolina, because I was so proud of myself. I told this to MJ earlier. There are so many things out right now that are pickle flavored. And I was excited because I was like, oh, but Carolina's going to be on.

So I was like, I'm going to bring all the pickle stuff on. And then I said this to Jeff yesterday. And Jeff was like, Carolina was like, Carolina was like, carolina was like. called Pickle Girlfriend because Carolina loves pickles, you don't even know the lore of your own network. And I was like, you're right. Does Jeff know the lore? No the lore? Do I know it?

Jeff used to listen back. Like he used to listen to all those years ago. And so I was like, oh my God! So I just dropped everything. I got my ass over to crumble. And for those of you that are not aware, Crumble is a place that every week they change

up the flavors. And you'd think, oh, did you go in time? to get the Benson Boone cookie? Nay, I fucking didn't because the Benson Boone cookie was like some sort of like cotton candy fluff fucking bullshit.

And you know what? Controversial opinion outside of cotton candy bubble gum, cotton candy can kind of go fuck when it comes to like a cookie as a flavor. I agree.

My kids love cotton candy ice cream and cotton candy icy and I think it's so gross and I have to withhold this opinion from them and I, so I'm like, I support you. Yeah. But yeah, cotton candy flavor is, cotton candy itself is fun.

Cotton candy flavor, nay. Nay. Now, I wanted to specifically welcome you to. Now, I got all of them, but you don't have to try them all. Okay. I think that the things you might like, now we've got the Aloha Pie, which is a coconut cookie topped with vanilla frosting, a sweet pineapple glaze, and toasted coconut flates. Now, there's no chocolate in that.

Okay, but I love coconut. So that's awesome. That's awesome. Now, I do have a brooky, you know, just normal brownie cookie. I also have a molten lava cookie. Ooh, nice.

As well as, now this has no chocolate in it, but I was curious. It is a Biskof cheesecake, a buttery Biscop cookie base topped with creamy cheesecake frosting and a generous swirl of Biskopf cookie butter.

I like it. I like it a lot. Now, they also have the raspberry cupcake cookie, a soft vanilla cookie topped with smooth raspberry frosting and pink sprinkles, but I don't know.

I like the raspberries too. I like the raspberries too. Chocolate goes well with raspberry cupcake. chocolate goes well with coconut. You're damn right. You're damn right it does. What are you looking to get into? What do we want to try?

I don't know. I do remember our wedding cake was raspberry chocolate. So let's go raspberry. Yeah, I love this. That's the one I would have chosen too. Yeah. I know. I wish M.J., I could throw this at the screen.

I know. I get so sad when MJ has to watch us now. I need to try this Biskof because Biscop has kind of been everywhere recently. Yeah, it has. Go for it. Yeah. And I have tried cookie butter as somebody who's always trying to get my kids to eat sandwiches. I have tried cookie butter on a sandwich and they won't eat it.

But I think it's good. But also it's an airplane. It's an airplane cookie. But that's fine. That's fine. Yeah. Oh, bitch. I love it too.

I love it. And I'm loving this creamy. This is good. This is good. This is very, it's very rich. It's very rich. It's very rich. That's okay.

I'm curious about the crumble cookies as well because I do love a sweet. but also they look so, like, so rich that I feel like I want, like, one bite of three different ones. I like about them. Now they do miniatures. So we're eating the miniature versions of the cookies, so they are smaller. But I will say, they are very expensive for the cookie. Now, I... Oh, thank you for getting all these cookies.

I wasn't saying that for that reason. I can memo you. I have no welcome, Carolina. That's so... Oh, fucking get on it, Carolina. not no I think that usually I feel that like we don't need to have very expensive just to make it good I think that there it contains and this I'm coming from a person that used to work at a pie shop that we used to sell $55 pies like so I was a pastry cook too yeah oh yeah yeah so it's like you know I understand that you know there is a level of that you're paying for the ingredients but with crumble sometimes I feel like it is hit or miss. and to spend so much money. Yeah.

Because sometimes I feel like it's way too sweet and it's not giving enough of anything. Like the Biscoff cheesecake really good, but it could really use a crotch. I like a texture. So like I would like it better

if it had a little bit more of a crunch on top. Okay, I'm going to let you in on my snacky snacks. Please. This is the number one most stoner snacky thing I came up with.

This year, by the way, in the year 2025 was the day. I invented queer snacks That was me. Thank you, Carolina. Stop doing it. Oh, thank God. Is it just oysters?

No, just listen to my song. Okay. No, okay. Okay. So, no, this is the best one. This was definitely a very, I was stoned at the time. You know, I partake in the vape from time to time. And I realized this amazing thing.

You take a mug and you take a handful of like the semi-sweet chocolate chips that you were going to make cookies with, but you never did. Hell yeah. And then you put in a mug. marshmallow or two. Okay. All right. And then maybe if you got some M&Ms, you can put them at the end or in the middle, throw them in the microwave.

Whoa. 20 seconds. Stir it. That's all you got. Whoa. Whoa. It's like a boon. It's cheap.

You can get all at the dollar store. Less than $2. Man. It's a cracker. Look at me. I love this. I want my own Megan Markle show. Yeah.

Maybe you want to cream it up. You could even put like a little dollop of coconut oil in it to like give it like a smooth creaminess if you're trying to get it more like in a creamiest way. That's good as you want. I mean, it depends on what you're going for. No, no, this is good. I want add-ons. This is really good.

You need a panel like in Star Wars, just so you know. You need a panel of Jedi's to really come up with the best decisions. So I get this. Yes, the force is strong with this one, this one snack. But MJ. All right. Crumple, crumple, crumple. And he's minted munchies.

Everyone can snack. MJ's mined munchies. Ooh. Is it really hot? What are we eating today? Is it the chili crisp ones? What is this? Okay, so I've been on a hot chip tour, Carolina. I've been trying all the hot chips. And I started with tockis, the classic regular purple bag, taki. And everybody has been telling me to try the Trader Joe's tachies. So I made my monthly pilgrimage to Trader Joe's yesterday to buy $50 worth of freeze red strawberries for my children that they have already eaten most of. And so I saw the Trader Joe's to Tockeys. or, if you will, rolled corn tortilla chips, lime and chili flavored, which I'm already going to tell you these are not going to be as good as a tocky. Okay. I support Trader Joe's. I love Trader Joe's, but it's not going to be a real tachy.

Wow. You're going against, you know, I feel like the Trader Joe's rider dies. It's not red. It doesn't look very fake. It looks kind of natural. My fingers are like a top, kind of, you know, T-A-U-P. I don't know how to say. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Like a top. Yeah. Like a top. That's what it is. Yes. That's what it looks like. It looks very like an old French fry.

I'm sorry. It does look like an old French fry. It does look like an old French fry and old sweet potato fry. I wonder how it is. Because MJ, I know you would love Mexico City because Mexico City has only potato chips. Everything is spicy. And I could never get anything non-spicy when I was a kid. Oh, my God.

But tell me, how is your old potato cheese? What is it called? I'm sorry. Get away. Sticky. No, it's fun. It's fun. It's good.

It is like a milder, healthier tasting. Healthy is an arbitrary benchmark. I apologize. It tastes more Trader Joezy and less purple bag, red dye-y than Ataki. Yeah. But I honestly, if I had to choose between Ataki or the Trader Joe's, I would probably go with a regular Taki. Wow. That said, tachis you really can only eat like three of before your tongue is ruined for

the day. And so these... Oh, does it cut it up? I've never gotten into to toki. They're just so spicy and so like sour. Like, because it's both chili and lime, you know, so there's a lot going on. And so I've always, my theory about talkies has always been that children love them because you have to share them.

They're like a perfect child food because no one can eat an entire bag. And whereas these are, I would dare say, a little milder. I think you could put these out at a party of adults and not offend anyone. Whereas if you put out a bag of talkies at a party of adults, the adults are going to have a connption fit. You know, they just can't do it. It's a child food. MJ, the other day I brought, there's cheese pizza cheese puffs to the Fourth of July

gathering. And everyone's like, who brought the cheese puffs? Oh my God, somebody brought the cheese puffs. Fucking tell you what? That shit was gone. And everybody judges when you put out some cheese puffs, but you know what's nice on a hot day? A cheese puffs sometime. Totally.

And I don't say, and when I say Taki is a child food, I don't say it with judgment. I say it with admiration. And really it's like a, it's like a children first. Yes. It's what hockey is about. Twins and teens especially love a toki. But also, I've seen kindergartners house them. My kids won't eat spicy yet, but kids just love them.

Kids won't eat any spicy foods except hot cheetos and tachis. But yeah, the Trader Joe's ones are good. Those of you who recommended, you did not lead me astray. I feel like these have all of the good flavors of a toki with being like a little less in your face about it. So if that's what you want, a little less, slightly less artificial. But that said, now I feel like my next stop has to be the blue tachies because they do make them in blue for some reason. What is the flavor of the blue?

I'm so curious because it's not a blue raspberry, but I feel like in my brain, it's like it's got to be blue raspberry. And then I'm going to eat it and be lucked out because it's not blue raspberry. I just know what blue gatorade is. That's all I know. Yeah, right. Let's see. There is a whole search blue tachies versus red. I think that blue has a more subtle flavor, according to Reddit.

Interesting. Oh. Wow. It doesn't have a more subtle look. That's for damn sure. It stains, right? I believe it's stains. Yeah, I think that's the word on the street.

Stains their thinking. Stains the lips. Yes. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Right on down, pass the lips down to the hips. I don't know what I was saying. I don't know why I kept saying it.

But I will say thank you so much, MJ, for bringing in your minute Munchy. We now, I guess, more than a minute Munchy because you schlepped all the way to Trader Joe's. And that is, you know, we live, I have two or three Trader Joe's within a stone's throw of my home. I never go to, I think I've only been Trader Joe's once. Everyone loves it. Everybody loves it. I know. It's not my way of life. I just go to the neighborhood grocery stores because it is, I have to take a subway to Trader Joe's and that's too hard for me. But it is, I get it. Like, what, I think what Trader Joe's has to offer that is really,

really, really nice is they have, like, very good frozen food. So if you are somebody who, like, Tori Spelling, took two years off of cooking after her divorce, I think that it's, like, really, really high-quality, good frozen meals. I thought she was doing DoorDash. Like, I used to do where you just wrap it up in aluminum, like any pizza, you know, in four slices or something, and then you just write Monday.

Oh, yeah. On Tuesday. Yeah. Portion it out. Of course she's not going to be doing it. I don't know why I thought you were. She's not rich. Oh, she's not rich.

No. She's not rich. She did say they did a lot of postmates. I mean, it's got to be hard. If you take two years off of cooking and you have kids, it's hard to manage, hard to fee. Yeah. So she said they just, they did a lot of postmates and, yeah, freezer stuff and whatnot. And then she was able to get back at it.

And now she's back in the kitchen, which good for her. Good for her. But also everybody's her for going back in the kitchen. I feel like Trader Joe's also, I know everybody loves the snacks, but that's what scares me. the most. I don't need, I know surprise, someone that created, you know, a snack section of a show, I don't need more reasons to buy snacks. And Trader Joe's for me, I have no impulse control. Yeah. So, that's also cheap. That's the other thing. It's all really, really, really, I'm very scared of it. Wonderfully affordable. And they do have, like, I will say the bag salad section is terrific.

The pre-cut vegetables, like if you just want a bag full of pre-cut, cauliflower, then that's, you're in luck. I don't have to wash it and cut it. Exactly. It's a whole thing. Oh, my God. I didn't know about this. I know there's a whole world there that we don't know about.

But honestly, it's because I don't want to deal with the parking lot. Oh, my God. That is what happened to me. The parking lot is a nightmare. Oh, I'm so glad you said this, Jackie. You might have been the same shake for Trader Joe. I know we had to go very soon, but the one time I went to Trader Joe, the one time the parking was so, so bad.

Nightmare. I've never to go back and it's been two and a half years. And the New York City version of that is the line. Nobody likes the line. And here, like in L.A., the line is not the issue because that's what I thought was the issue at every Trader Joe's, but that's just New York. But don't worry, the downside is MJ that for some reason, I think Trader Joe's in their contract has to make their parking lot an actual living nightmare. I think that they make it the most backwards at, like, I don't, every, like, that's, I said that I've only been to Trader Joe's maybe once. since I've lived in L.A., I've been in the parking lot of a Trader Joe's eight,

nine times, but then I don't get inside it. I get so angry. I get either so angry or I'm having a ban attack to such a point that I'm like, it's not worth it. And then it goes, you had a bad day. And on that note, we got to get the hell out of here. Because, yeah, it's even like we might have a bad day, but we're not going to. We're not going to because this is a summer of fun.

A fun. That's what I'm going to call it fun. Yes, we're having a summer of fun. FUN. Yes. So, it's just on the FU. Yeah, summer fun question mark. And thank you so much, Carolina.

Yes. For hanging out with us. Absolutely. I'm coming back. Oh, you are coming back whether you want to or not. And we can't wait to have you. Thank you so much. Please, everybody, check out no dogs in space.

Yes. No dogs from space. We're on hiatus right now just because. our copyright, all that stuff. But please just check out No Dogs in Space. The episodes mostly are still there until they rip all the copyright from us. But anyway, regardless, we'll get them back. We'll figure it out.

We are figuring out with lawyers. Hell yeah. We're doing the best. We're doing the best. And Nash and Grace. Yes. And thank you so much. Thank you so much, Carolina.

Thank you for the cookie. Of course, babe. We didn't even get to the fact that, oh, ha. You know, I'm going to save this mountain. You can save it for later. Sugar. Can I put it in the fridge? Yes, I got a mountain do zero sugar, summer freeze, makes me feel fun.

And it does, you know what, it's, this is a problem here. Every time I drink these drinks, needs a little bit of vodka. It is begging for a little bit of vodka. Yeah, yeah. LaCroy feels weird when there's no vodka. It needs a little bit of vodka not doing the morning. Yep, that's how we start to go. Yep, I mean, it is before 10.30 in the morning.

And if you're not drinking vodka, it's like, is it a summer of fun? That's where the question mark comes from. Thank you all for joining us on this week's episode of page seven. We'll be back with second helpings tomorrow, and we thank you so much for hanging out with us. Please come hang out with us even more over on our Patreon, page seven, Patreon, patreon. Patreon.com slash page seven podcast. Oh, you get your Jackie's Book Club. We are in Sookie Stackhouse Book No, 2 right now, Living Dead in Dallas, and I am loving this second book.

come join us there. We've got Man, if you need more vampires, we've got our Buffy Tuesdays. And then we've got our celebrities on Wednesdays and we are currently reading Mike the situation, Sorrentino's memoir. So you don't have to. Come

hang out with us on the page 7. Yeah, that's a great question, Carolina. You know what? I'm going to tune in. I'm going to tune in for that. I'm going to listen to that one for sure. It is, it's he reads his own audio book, Caroline. and I love I oh man as someone gave him that opportunity I can come listen us talk about it over all of us who work in this kind of entertainment animal that's wow it's a choice wow it is quite interesting choice that the choice and if you if you've got a bitch in your life and you want to find out or maybe you're the bitch who's the bitch. Get in all of your submissions over you can leave us a DM you can send us a voicemail you can leave send us an email over at who's the bitch.com.

And also, you know, if you need a little bit of Crescent City, LPNromantasy, YouTube.com slash at LPN Romanty. How many ways can you listen to me talk? A lot. And last but not least, you can always email us page 7podcast at gmail.com. We love hearing from you. Thank you everybody for listening. Thank you, Carolina, so much for joining us.

Thank you, MJ. It's always awesome to see you. We love you so much. Can't wait to have you back. We'll see everybody tomorrow on. second helpings. Bye everybody. Bye, everybody. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them.

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