Page 7 - Talkin' TV - I Like Bad Television

Episode Date: June 12, 2024

This week Holden, Jackie, and MJ dive face first into the crotch watermelon that is MILF Manor, HBO's Ren Faire got MJ to watch Darkon and see what LARP is all about, Ishana Night Shyamalan's The Watchers is.... not good, Holden's stuck in an endless loop of Lightning McQueen with CARS, things in Metropolis are heatin' up in My Adventures with Superman, Jackie forgot just how good Dog Day Afternoon is, and Perfect Match 2 continues to deliver the DRAMA! MILF Manor Season 2 - MaxRen Faire - MaxDarkon - Amazon PrimeCars - Disney PlusThe Watchers - IN THE THEATAHHHHMy Adventures with Superman - MaxDog Day Afternoon - Paramount PlusPerfect Match Season 2 - Netflix Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Talking TV with MJ Holden and Jackie. Talking TV. And you know it's going to get wacky. Because everybody goes when everybody knows. And everybody knows. We're watching shows. We're talking TV with MJ Holden and Jackie. Man, I butchered it today, guys.

I just want to apologize. But that's not an omen that this is going to be a bad recording. Don't let that get in your head and fester. Or maybe that means that there's like creepy kids here and that's the omen that we're going to be discussing. Oh, yeah. You watched the omen a bunch this week. No, I didn't.

I didn't do any of those things. In the middle of June. I watched the omen, you know. Although, I mean, I did watch a Joe Bob Briggs episode on Death Spa. So I did watch a horror movie. Nice. Gotta get one in every once in a while. Love that.

we got a lot of business to get down to, and I want to figure out where we should start, because obviously there's Milf Manor, there's Perfect Match, and I also watched a documentary I'm really excited to talk about, even though it wasn't a new documentary, it relates to the cosplay world.

Ooh. So, but, but, Milf Manor and Perfect Match are fresh on my mind because I was just watching them this morning before we started recording. So what do you guys think? Where should we dive in? I mean, do we want to just get Milf Manor out of the way

real quick? Yeah, and let's see. And then we'll, let's cap it. We'll start it with Milf Manor. We'll end it with perfect match. Perfect. I love that. I love that.

So, Milf Manor. All right. Less sad dad. So I'll give them that. But still, you know, it's, it almost makes me sad when I get to the watermelon part. And the young boy is being coached by his father, how to eat a watermelon like a vagina. Because the watermelon was between the legs of a hot woman. Let's please.

You know, and I did. I did love it, and it made me churn and rithe and, you know, hate humanity on a level that can only be, you know, accomplished in a Melf Manor episode. And yet, I lamented because it was just one little bit of the show. You continue to be it. You are not entered, you are not pleased, you are not grossed out enough, even though the challenge of this episode was having dads essentially coached their sons on how to eat pussy. was not disturbing enough for you.

Well, that was one tiny chunk of what that show, what that episode was. And the whole thing should be the watermelon, you know? And I just feel like they lost, like, it makes me sad because I feel like they were being chaotic evil and something's holding them back. There's someone on the staff. There's someone running things that's like,

but why don't we have a little bit of integrity? And to that person, I say, FI and Foe and Fee and Fee and Fee and Fee. thumb and get out of here with your dumb, dumb, come. I want, I want, I want to be to feel like humanity has taken a downturn that maybe AI would be a good thing for us. Sir, are you saying that you don't think that this new bitch is about to come in and really shake things up? Because I tell you, man, I love it. I love the energy that this, I'm, I'm just going to keep saying this bitch, because I'm pretty sure the other one's name is Shawna, but I completely forget.

what the one that was wearing the lime green Midwestern that shows up Midwestern like I'm just a man I don't think you're just a ma'am I don't fucking think so you come in trying to burn down Lynette's house with our Anthony She's sabotaging Anthony and Lynette

who are an appropriately aged couple who are falling in love and holding them like that because it's not fucked up and dirty enough for him and Anthony and Lynette It's not what I came. Had a dinner date. We're a Milf Manor. We're in Milf Manor, bros.

I'm sorry. I know. And now thanks to you, they have this nasty Midwestern bitch coming in. Yes. And Anthony is a dog, all right? He is a man who will charm you and he'll make you think that you're falling in love with him and he's falling in love with you. And he might look like a nice old man who looks a little bit like Jeffrey Zakarian, but he's a player. He is a player.

He's a player. He can't take the dog out of the game, but you can't take the dog out of the man. If that woman had a little tiny door that opened up in her forehead and you saw a bunch of circuits in it, I would be like, yep, makes perfect sense to me. She is fucking AI speaking of it. I'm like, she's just like, she talked to. Yeah, she's very

like, her face is very obviously she got it. Talks and everything. So like, right before she got there though. You know what I mean? She didn't get the memo. Oh, yeah. It's fresh. She's just like, I like the men and it's ah! You know, you're like, whoa, dude. Get some expressions, bro.

Like this. This week. Yeah, for those of you not watching along, basically this week's Milf Manor like twist was like they found two bitches who were in their 40s who get told they look young all the time. And so all the other bitches are like in their late 40s, early 50s. And they obviously are all very hot, but they like kind of look their ageish. And these two women come in and they are like they do not freaks who are 48 and 44, but they look like younger. And so they are young looking bitches. And of course the men. men are like, ooh, young-looking bitches, I'm going to betray Lynette. What I don't understand is then like, I guess if you want to be banging someone that looks like a young bitch, why don't they just bang young bitches? Right. That's what I don't get that it's like, but if you want a milf and you want a mature woman,

don't you want to be going after the ones that like look like mature women? It's because the men, what are we learning from this season of Milf Manor, that older men, are not better. They're worse. Yeah. Yes. And so that's what's happening. You know, they're all, yeah,

they're all sad divorced dads. So there's just a, and they're all willing to be on a show called Milf Manor with their sons, which I'm pretty sure they knew going in that their sons would be there. So this is not a very unique subset of man that we're studying right now, you know?

So like Stacy, for example, right? He is the man who had been estranged from his son. Oh. I got mad at Stacy this episode because his whole thing with Crystal is like, no, I'm just taking it easy. I'm afraid. I'm afraid. I'm afraid. I've been hurt.

Oh, and then all of a sudden, this new bitch. This hot bitch comes in and then, oh, look at him. He's opening up. He's opening up. Look at him. Interesting. Yes, exactly. This is what we're seeing.

We're seeing that a man in his 50s is like, I'm just going to take it slow. I want to learn from my divorce. I really want to respect. these women. No, you don't. It's just that you're not quite giving me a boner right now. But I'm not going to tell you that. I'm going to keep leading you on.

Now this other woman is here. She's giving me a boner. Goodbye, Crystal. I'm sorry for your life's problems, but I'm going to go fuck this other woman who gives me a bigger boner. Yeah, it's like a Viagra prescription, finally got unleashed on the house. I mean, all these men are just being dog it.

You know, of course, Mr. Italian, you know. Yeah, I don't even, I know. Biggest offender. Yeah, of course. I mean, we thought like real actual love was happening. Like, you guys are such suckers, do you. That's what Lynette thought too. Lynette thought it too.

You guys were a couple of Lynette's over here being like, love is can happen in real places. No, I think you wait. Kelly Mac and Darren are going to find love. That tiny woman. Oh my God. I was just like, I could break her into pieces over my knee. But, you know, I think they're going to find real love. I don't like Darren because he's a jet salesman, but he seems to really like Kelly Mac in a way that's very sweet. I know. Yeah, they are now the only people in the house that might be legitimately, you know, being sweet with each other and maybe like have a real thing. But yeah, I mean, these guys, these are dogs. These are dog people. They're horrible people. Yeah, they're dogs. They're dogs men who gave birth to dogs sons. Dirty dogs. And I don't understand. The one that's the nephew and not the son.

And all these women are like glamoring over each other to get to him. I'm like, this guy? I know that like I'm not necessarily usually attracted to very stereotypically attractive men like these men. But like that guy? I don't know. I just don't see it or get it. I feel like he's like a dead fish. And I do want to say thank you to Tabby who wrote in.

Tabby wrote in some like info and gossip from the Milf Manor subredits because they, which I forget to look at subredits. I forget to go into the subredits. And I want you to know, Holden, you are not alone when I, is it just me or does anyone else miss the chaotic Oedipus Rex-esque shit show that was season one? A lot of people feel the same way that you feel Holden. but one thing I did learn from Tabby is that Chris, the one dating Barbie, apparently in real life,

of course, this is not verified, but he might be a bad, bad, bad, bad. Oh, yeah. A bad, bad, bad. And one thing that we do know about these reality shows

is that they are not usually the best at going into backgrounds. Yeah. Yeah. So let's just say, We, not verified, but let's not give Chris our support. All right. We can do that.

And, you know, to quote Harry on Perfect Match, which we'll talk about later, but he's like, you know, the type of people who are drawn to reality shows, speaking for only myself, we're bad people. So I think that there is that. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, we're bad people. I like bad television. And also that person's name was Hannah and Tabby was just part of their email address.

So I thought, thank you, Hannah, for writing in, though. And just even alerting me and reminding me that I should be looking at the Milf Manor subreddit so I can learn more. Right. Yeah. It's a great place. Talk about a worm time, man. You will fall into. I don't know.

Yeah, I don't know if I need it. Do I really need this? No. I went on the love is blind. So I thought about Milfantor season two in general. Do I really need this? No. I don't.

No. I can't believe you want more motherfucking hold in. There's the really it was. I just want to be disgusted in. People. Because it was more incestual in season one. I want to see, yeah, but or just, I can watch any show. I mean, we're about to talk about perfect match, which I am enjoying as like kind of a pure,

like, will they won't they type of show, right? I can watch any of those, you know. Yes, you need more visceral horror. Yeah, I come to Melf Manor to be horrified at the, you know, reality of it all, you know? Yeah. Because I can't, I can't experience that with what's really going on. to do it through the guise of a bad reality show. Yeah, but how about when Darren was coaching Sam,

standing behind him, coaching him as his head was between a woman's leg? That was great. That was great, but it's like, it's like, man, you know, you kind of, in a way, I just feel a sense of loss. Like, this is what the show should be. I think we're broken, holding. I'm fairly sure. I just think it's just like, this is what it is.

It's lawless. It's lacking in morality and soul. This is like when older men talk about how you used to be able to say more 30 years ago. But for you, it's just, you used to be able to smell your mother's underwear on Milderner. And now everything's too PC for that. How dare they? I hate it. Well, you know, we got into Miltf Manor.

And I don't know. I forgot to ask you guys before we started recording. Did you catch up on Renfair, the docu series over on HBO? So we started Renfair. and that is why I don't think that we, I think we did catch up actually, because it's coming out in installments, right? It's only three episodes, all three episodes are now out.

Okay, so I think we did. Oh, oh, that's, it's total three episodes? Yeah. Oh, shit, I didn't realize that. Well, I, uh, yeah, I'm only seen the first episode, but I love it. And it is, yeah. I just, well, I can't remember if we were, if we talked about it last week or not.

I know that I've talked about it since. I just need everyone to know that Renfair is fucking awesome. Yeah. And it is not what I expect. the show to be about, and if you know nothing about it, go in knowing nothing about it. And if you're even curious about any kind of a Renfair or anything about it, watch it. I was very surprised, so sucked into the story, so sucked into the characters of the story, and I'm sad that it's only three episodes.

On Wizard and the Bruiser, we find all those crazy little moments in geek history that made the things we love into inescapable cultural behemates. If you love video games, movies, comics, and anime, this is the LPN show for you. But wait, Holden, it's not just educational. Shouldn't we talk about all those crazy boner jokes we make all the time? No, Jake. No, we will not. Fair enough. Last Podcast Network presents Wizard and the Bruiser.

Find it on your favorite podcast app and hit that little subby-dovey button. Ooh, we would love it if you did that. Oh, that would help us out so much. God, wouldn't you love to do that? Don't I sound like the kind of person you want to help? Like hit the button. Like, just do it. Yes.

So Renfair, which was amazing, got me and Gideon on this journey to watching the documentary called Darkon that was made in 2006. And I'm looking now to see where did we watch it? I guess you can watch it on YouTube and rent it from YouTube. That must have been where we watched it. Or also it's on Prime. But Darkon is a 2006, like, it was kind of like a cult hit. It premiered at Rooftop Films, which is an institution here in New York where they like premiere

outdoor, they have these outdoor film showings. And they're usually like indie films. So Darkon is a documentary. that is following larping, like a community of larpers, and their world is Darkon, is called Darkon. And it's basically follows like a war, like between like one leader of a, of a land in Darkon and another lead, like an imperialist. Hell yeah. Like in Darkon. And it is, if you liked Renfair, I mean, it's obviously, it's a, it's an old

movie at this point. It's 2006. But it is, if you're kind of, and I was thinking about it also, Jackie with our conversation we'd had after you came back from the Starfall Ball and the cosplay world. Yes. Starfar Bar. Star Far Bar. Yeah. Star Far Bar.

But like, you know, it's, it's so fun for so many reasons. You're hearing all of these guys talk about how important the world is to them. You're looking at all of them and you're just like, I'm just, you're just so happy for them that they have this community. Honestly, I feel like we would have less like, like if, I don't read it. it does a lot of good things for a lot of people, but I feel like if everybody could find, like, their larping experience

and, like, maybe be a little less online and a little bit more, like, in the field, like, in costume with other people who are, like, weird like them. Like, it's all these, and it's throughout the film, kind of the main theme is all these people talking about why they like to larp instead of... Bro, it's why I say fuck people that play D&D.

Yeah. Like, it is, it is an un-fought, it's an untapped market. Yes. fuck. It's like you want to fuck the creatives. These people are so creative. In any way you want to fuck the creatives. So all these nerdy boys are exactly who you would picture is like a larper, but they all have sewing machines in the background. They're like, their houses filled with costumes. They've got all the tables

in their houses are like covered with like little, you know, models of figures that they're using to plan out the various battles that they're planning. And, you know, of course it's a type of thing where you can watch and you can be like, I'm pretty sure that many of these people are like somewhere on the autism spectrum and I'm just so happy that they have found like that they have this like special interest that is so meaningful to them and that they can do it in community with other people. They all talk about feeling like their best version of themselves in this world. Like they don't feel like they have like a place in the regular world. But in this world they can be the boss of themselves. They can feel like a star. They can feel like a leader.

And like they find their community. And it's like so moving. It is absolutely astonishing. I will never make fun of LARPing again. I will never make fun of cosplay. It's really special. So if you liked Renfarin, want to get more into that world, Darkon is like a sleeper hit.

Hell yeah. I love it. Love that. How did you find it, MJ? Gideon remembered it from when he saw it at rooftop years ago and he had loved it when he saw it. And so it is on Prime and YouTube. Yes.

And it's short. It's like an hour and a half. But it is like, it's also so funny because they're doing these battles, but they have all these elaborate rules. So, like, you know, they hit, like, yellow means this type of hit on an armor and white means this type of hit on an armor.

So it's just like, it is a board game, but they're playing it in real life. Hell yeah. And they all adhere to the rule. There's never any, like, actual fighting. It's all honor. It is, you, if you want to be moved by humanity and, like, the possibility for what real life community,

like, can and should look like, it really is, like, I'm not, into any of this stuff, but just for the community alone, and the way people talk about how it gives them meaning, you know, people are so alienated in the world, and that's why they're finding community on Reddit, and all these guys, I'm not saying they would all be insoles

if it weren't for this, but you know, there's a type of it's like, a type of guy who's like, I've never talked to a girl, I've never been in a relationship, but like they're not angry. They're like, I have this community where I feel like I'm really loved. One of them is like, I have supported and they have a family. One of them is like, I have a girlfriend in character

and I don't have one out of character, but like that makes me feel like maybe one day I could have one in, like out of character too. And so it's like, so I think many of them are great and wonderful guys. But it is also like, you know, for the for the way that being in community with one another is a protection from the things that can be scary about like men and boys feeling lonely and alienated from society. Like when they are together and working towards this wonderful imaginative thing, they're just all the best versions of themselves. Hell yeah. Sometimes Reddit is almost like has the potential to kind of be the... Maybe I'm singling out Reddit.

I just mean like, you know, the ways that... I think you're right. The ways that Ben can get bad online together. That's what I mean. Well, yeah, it started with... There's a direct line from the pick-up artist community that led us into the in-cell awfulness that we have now. It's very much.

And it's all, yeah, online really did a number on that, for sure that men, the men's ability to get together and complain and blame everything else other than the real reason why they're not getting laid, which is like kindness and working on themselves. Connection and, yeah.

Being healthy. Yeah, exactly. Like, yeah, having empathy. And this is 2006 too. So we're talking, we had message boards back then, right? But it wasn't so easy to find community online. So it feels like such a blessing that people found each other for this, you know? I mean, think about our Twitter.

community and the fact that like we've all found each other and it's just like this beautiful place where we can come and support each other and enjoy each other's time and each other's company. Totally. And there's just there were so especially back then, oh my God, you're just like so scary to be vulnerable on the internet. Yes. And I mean, it's still scary to be vulnerable on the internet, especially if you haven't found a community yet. But I'm so glad that those people found their own community. Man, watch it. You'll love it. Well, I have watched the Pixar movie Cars about six times now, so you have to hear about it. Lightning McQueen. He's a real egomaniac, that guy. And so he goes to a small town. He meets some great people there, wonderful people.

He's got a great ride. By people I mean cars. And they talk. And he learned some lessons there, doesn't he? And isn't that what we all need to do? Don't we all need to go to a small town and learn some lessons? Jackie, calling you out. Yeah, I mean, I certainly learned. I learned a lesson yesterday. And that lesson that I learned was that if you were wondering if Em Night Shyamalan's daughter can write and direct a film and put it up, the answer is yes.

Can she do it well? The answer is no. No. Everyone's in the family, huh? I can't believe people still. I mean, this is his daughter, so it's one thing. I can't believe people still watch Imnight Shyamalan movies. I love going to see.

M. Night Shyamalan movies. I love it because, man, oh, baby, you never know where it's going to go. And I especially love watching it with other people, especially in the movie theater. And I was like, let me just see. I was like, what if the watchers happens to be very good, right? And we don't give her the benefit of the doubt because she's M. Night Shyamalan's daughter. But it is produced by M. Night Shyamalan's production company. as well as, which this blew my mind. So M. Night Shyamalan's next movie, which Holden I thought about you so hard

and not in a Bridgerton, the Rake kind of way. The next movie that is coming out by M. Knight Shyamalan is about a dad that's essentially bringing his daughter to a, let's say, Taylor Swift concert. And he's like, why are all these cameras everywhere? And they find out that there's a serial killer that is supposedly at the concert. In the trailer, you find out that he is the serial killer, that they are looking for. And that movie, directed and written by M. Knight-Shama-Lan, the person that is playing the Taylor Swift character in it,

is M. Knight-Shaw-A-Lan's other daughter, who wrote all of the music and is performing in the movie and is trying to stay. kickstart her career and I was like, wait a second. So M. Night Shyamalan is single-handedly. Talk about Nepo Babies, giving both of his daughters complete careers that like, again, I haven't seen the other M-N-N-Cham-Lon movie. I don't know if his other daughter has talent. I'm not saying that like his daughter Ashana Knight-Sharmalon who made The Watchers is a complete trash bag.

But this was a very, very bad movie. and we laughed very, very loud throughout. It is very poorly written. I went into it being like, because Jeff kept snickering, and I was like, I looked at him and I was like, give her the benefit of the doubt. Let's see.

And then I think it was about 10 minutes later when I was like, you can just, I think we can laugh. I think we can fully. I think everyone here is laughing. Oh, man. I think we're good. Here's my question for you, though,

about the watchers or whatever that I'm dying to know. Does it have a big, dumb twist in it? Like, is she continuing to carry the torch? Are they on the other side of a fence? Yeah. Is it... There's a twist?

But it is not what should have been done. It's not, but is it Shamelon asked? Is it a Shamelon twist? Because, of course, it's a horror movie. Of course, there's probably a twist, but there's a difference between, like, a twist and a Shamelon movie twist. No, it's not a Shamelon-esque twist.

Okay, got you. Cool. Good to know. Go ahead. And what I need everyone to know, that I was immediately floored by. I've seen this trailer so many times because we go to the movies all the time.

Everything that they show in the trailer happens, I think, within the first five and a half minutes. Yeah. And that's when you know you should either be really excited about the movie or very scared about the movie. Right. I got to say, though, the description

of the M. Knight Shabalon movie with the other daughter. Sounds great. I'm going to watch that. See, this is the problem. And this is why I get sucked in every time. But now I've come full circle that I love watching. I used to watch it just being like, hoping for another good one.

There's got to be another good one in there. And now I watch it just because I love to see what kind of bat shit. Yeah. He's going to come up with. Yeah. I think that's why he's still around, right? Everyone's like, okay, we get it and it's bad, but we still like it. Yes.

But Trap, I love the other movie. I love the idea of it. Yeah. So let's see what happens with it. But I also loved the idea of old. And man, did we yell old? Every time they became old. Are we on to Perfect Match?

I can be, if you would like to be. Do you not have any other things to talk about? You talked about cars already. Yeah, I talked about cars. He talked about cars. It's about Lightning McGregney. Dude, hold it. I can't wait until you get into your trolls.

era because I know that you're ready to hate trolls. No, stop. Don't talk like, don't jigs me. This is my hottest take. Trolls is good. It introduces the kids to wedding music. And we need it. I feel like when I watch the trailer for the Baldwin's,

I kind of feel similar to when I watch a trailer for the troll. I know. Like it just, it irks me. We were advocating. We had a kid, the kids spent the weekend with a friend and they were trying to figure out what movie to watch. And Gini and I were like, watch Troll. How about trolls?

We've found we're advocating for trolls. That's how pro-trolls we are in this household. Damn. But Whitney is too young. You got to start with frozen. You got to go through the slog of only frozen for a year. Sure. And then Moana.

I don't know if we're going to get to, she's a car's gal. She's cars, car. Yeah. We had a cars era too. But anyway, you're going to work through it. She's into princesses or anything at this point. She's into high octane, you know, fuel. and Greece and gristle, you know.

Hell yeah. Everybody's got, there's Cars kids, there's Princess Kids, and there's superhero kids. And sometimes kids are all three. Yes. But you're in your car's era. I'm a mistake. And it was Dinosaur Kids and Egypt's kids.

There's also dinosaur kids. I love the dinosaur kids because my kids are so not into nonfiction. They are only in the realm of their imagination. Yes. And a lot of five-year-olds are like, let me tell you this fun fact about space. Yeah. And my kids are like,

let's build a dollhouse the size of this home. So someday we'll get into nonfiction, but it's not today. Not today, baby. Well, you could get them into My Adventures with Superman, I will say. I mean, you can't because it's not for children. But my Adventures with Superman is currently coming out, and it is a great show as someone that I'm learning more and more about Superman as time goes on. But this is the Jack Quaid Superman one, and it's really good.

I'm very sucked into it. Yeah, animation is like the only place where good superhero stuff is currently happening. Like, it's kind of weird. It's like hopefully they're looking at the success of some of these shows and are going to incorporate what they're doing into the filmic experiences. Yeah, before we get to Perfect Match, was there other, were there any other shows you wanted to chat about, Jackie? Well, I just caught up on my adventures with Superman, and that was a lot of fun.

And I also, we went out to go see if there are any pride movies going on in your hometown, go check him out because also the community talk about community aspect of going out to go see fun pride movies we went out to go see dog day afternoon which is man you forget how good the movie dog day afternoon is and like the people we were going with had never seen dog day afternoon and she was like oh i honestly didn't even know it had anything to do with pride and i was like it's great And we had a very fun time watching Dog Day afternoon. So if there are Pride movies going on in your hometown, go check them out. That's a good, that's a very good endorsement.

I'll bet there's a bunch of fun shit like that happening. Yes. All right. But everything else I can keep for next week. We can talk about perfect match. Elise and Harry, those beautiful bitches. Let's talk about it. And I know I'm about to get a bunch of spoilers because you guys are ahead of me and that's fine.

So just tell me. Why would anyone ever choose Harry? You know what Harry is. Because they love it. Because like, yeah, if there's anything I've learned, it's that like people like having stupid taste. Like, like, you know what I mean? They're just drawn to, they're drawn to that guy. That guy will always get the girl.

Like, he's just so, he's so effortless and has this dreamy quality. It's amazing. I mean, I've seen this dude pull the hottest, hottest chick. dude. On the show with the hottest people. I know. And he's not even that hot. It is,

Harry is a lesson. Every reality show has him. Like the, the player. I feel like the fuckboy island guy who was named Chase. It's like that every reality show has the one that's just like,

it's because you're tall and you have this like dumb amount of confidence. And because you don't want them. And because you're not giving any energy towards these women. at all. Yes. Yes. Yes. And there is just something like it honestly is fascinating to me. It brings me back to being in sixth grade and like having a crush on the boy who you had, you actually knew you would

never date him. You didn't like him. You knew he was a fucking idiot. But you're just like I just, that's just, that's what, that's what the type of boy who I'm kind of supposed to have a crush on is. And now I don't like fall for those boys. But I still find it fascinating to just be like, yeah, I, there is something about you that is magnetic. It's just a truth about life and people. Like, I've seen it a million times. And also, too, what's the female equivalent? Because guys do the same shit.

They'll just be with, you know, the dumb phrase, don't stick your dick and crazy. It's like we have the same malfunction. We're just some insanely terrible for us person. I've heard it's crazy eyes. Or at least that's something that my husband brings up. he's like, I've always been really attracted to crazy eyes. You can see how crazy somebody is in their eyes.

And he's like, Jackie, you've got crazy eyes. And I was like, oh, I do have crazy eyes. I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's just an energy, you know? There's just a fucking energy.

And you know it's terrible for you. And you know it's just absolutely rotten. But you're going to fall for it every time if they are down. I mean, until you finally learn your lesson, right? but you just go for, hey, I went for, there's a few ladies that I was with that were I just knew on paper in my mind and every facet were horrible for me, but there's just something. You have to just, you know, you have to just experience that enough times to finally go, you know what, I've got to get a, you need a break.

I need a break. I need someone who wants to just have a family. family and not fight. My God, that fighting couple too. Fucking. Oh, yeah. The couple that's fighting. Dominique and Brighton. Brighton from Squidgame. Of course. That fuck. Talk about, oh my God. I just want to shake him to death. I don't. Okay. And it's one thing that like surprisingly even with all of my many years of anger issues, I was never sexually attracted to screaming. at each other that is not something that does it for me. That it's how I shut off.

I don't get invigorated by the fight. And Dominique does. Yes. She says, she was like, I talked about in therapy that I get turned on by the fight. She like, and I'm like, good self-awareness, girl. That's step one. And you're still chasing right after. Step two is incorporating that awareness into the choices that you make.

Oh, they love to. fight. And there's a scene you have a guy to you at MJ where he's literally like, wait, hold on, come on, it's been like five minutes. We haven't fought about anything yet. And I'm just like, God, that's exhausting to me. Did you get to the point, like, Holden, have you gotten to the point where like she chooses the like, or is it with the other dude?

And then, Chris, and then they show up and he tries to like puff up and try to like be the big. Yeah, yeah. It's so, watching perfect match is so much like. feeling like I'm like what people say about people that love reality, which is like you just love to watch the zoo. Yeah. And you're right. This show is the zoo.

You're watching the different forms and the different ways people toxicly communicate with each other. And they're just bouncing off of each other like little ping pongs. And I live to see it. But then you watch the poor. Love is blind people. have been folded into this season. Because you've got to remember, love is blind is a very different reality show. Right.

Than the shows that all these other, the fuck reality shows. Especially too hot to handle. And everybody else is in. Yes, dated and related, all of them. Yeah. That was so funny. I think her name's Miko with the guy's just like, okay, she's like, you want to be my perfect match.

She's like, okay, how about this? How about like we talk to the other people? And if no one else wants to be our match, we'll be a match. And she's like, are you fucking kidding? Mika shouldn't be there. Micah is not strong enough to be there. Thank you, Jackie. Micah is so broken from how

she's not strong enough to be there. Izzy's not strong enough. I agree with. I will say for Mika, though, she surprised me a little bit. She does have that Riz. Again, MJ even gotten there yet, but she does quite well in the kissing competition.

So that kind of changed my mind a little bit. Everything about her I'm so not into. I'm so not attracted to Mika. I'm so not attracted to her. vibe. I'm not checked to anything about her and I'm just like, girl. I feel the same way she seems really desperate. Like, she seems like hot girl, but like too desperate for how hot she is. I'm like, why are you so insecure?

But also I remember from Love is Blind, she can be a bit of a snake because she did try to get it, go in and get Kwamey. But that's the thing. Desperation can lead. It's not, we don't always only feel bad for the desperate girls. Sometimes the desperate girls make real bitchy choices. And so Micah has that in her. So I think that she'll be okay. but it is one of those where I'm like,

I think that you really need to go work on yourself before you come back here next Netflix reality show. It's so mean, except for the one Love is Blind contestant that hasn't come into the house yet that from the last season, but we already know she's going to be on it. Except for her, it's so...

Oh, no, she's already on it. Jess. Well, not where I'm at. I haven't gotten there yet. Gotcha. Oh, no, she's on it. Oh, she's there. We love you, Jess.

Well, that's the thing is who, of course, just watching it. Jess is like, you know, I know that like Harry's bad. But like he's not, meanwhile, the look on his face when he's like, you're a mom. And she's just like, but maybe I should like to meet you. And I'm just like, girl, you are a mother. What are you doing?

And I'm not saying you can't be on the show. I'm just saying you're going to go after Harry. I know. You're going like this out. Like, what are we doing here? I have been yelling. I didn't realize I thought that there were only three episodes out.

I didn't know until yesterday that there were six episodes out. So I slammed to the rest of the episodes because I thought we were supposed to have them all watch and I was like trying to like shove them into my mouth. I was also like damn, that's too many apps. Like I can't do it. We keep like falling and we keep getting so tired.

But I will say, well, what I was saying before was besides her, it's so mean to Matt like put Love is blind contestants up again. too hot to handle contestants. Like all the too hot to handle contestants are absurdly attractive because that's the whole premise of the show and that you're making like Izzy

going there and be like, hi, I think your tits are edible arranged. Izzy strikes out hard twice. Yes. And he is, and I hate to break it, MJ, he's only in the first two episodes. The fact that he hit, like, man, swing and a hard miss twice with Micah.

Yeah. Both times you're just like, brutal. And he's just like, oh. She's so not it. She like so didn't go there to be with a guy like him. That's the problem too is like, you know, you have that issue too, which we're also kind of seeing in Melf Manor where it's like, yeah. In real life, you should probably be with an Izzy, but you're there to like be on a reality

show where there's really hot people and try to pull some tail that is actually totally out of your league just because you're on the show. Yes. But that's why I love. You are a, yeah, that they include Zanthi, Zanthi who's from the circle. So, but Zanthi is hot as shit. Yeah, Zanthi's hot. To me, Zanthi is by far the hottest on the show.

Zanth is crazy hot, yeah. I think Zanthi is so fucking hot. And she's not from one of the dating shows, and she's killing it. But surprise, she's killing it because she's dropped dead gorgeous. Yeah. Yeah, but you're right. Holden is right that Micah's thing is like, she's like, everyone's treating me. me like, I'm not the hottest girl here.

But then she's, and she's like, I'm a little insecure that I'm not the hottest girl here. But then she's like, why don't the hottest boys here want to date me? Right. It's me in high school. Yeah. And it's like, it's completely that.

Yeah. Like, you know, you could not go for the absolute number one play. Yeah, I chose middle and high school. It was two different, one lady and one girl in middle school, one girl in high school. And they were both at the time, one of the most, popular girls in school. Yeah.

You know? Yeah, and then you can't be mad. No. A person doesn't like you. I'm sorry. You can harbor your love for them, but you can't be mad about it. And instead I was like,

I'm going to fully commit to this and not go for anyone else and just be in love with them for the entire time I'm here and like, therefore never kiss a girl or like do anything. But that's what Dom is trying to do. Dom did that last time he was on, he was in perfect match. And he like shacked up real early.

And then he fucked it up. And so that's why now he's like, you know what? Last time, I was being real loyal. This time, I'm not at all. And so he's just pissing everybody off because he's trying to like play the game. But you can tell he's not the kind of dude that would play that game. I don't know why he would come back on another season to uncomfortably play the game again. But then it's like you've got people like, did you either one of you watch dated and related?

I tried because you recommended it. And then I was like, I can't do this. Loved it. I loved it. I loved it. Because Alara comes in and Alara is from dated and related. And I love Alara. She's another like, I don't know.

I'm just the bitch. And you're just like, she's so hot. And you're just like, oh, Laura, I'll let you do anything to me, you crazy bitch. And she's now in the house. And I'm just like, yeah, I'm here for it, baby. She's hot. Yeah, that'll be fun. Yeah, she's looking real good.

But then Melinda is in the house. And Melinda, who used to be on Too Hot to Handle, but then she became the host of dated and related. And then Chris was trying to bang her when she was the host of dated and related. But now she's in the house. And she is looking. I will say, I'm glad that these people are getting careers out of it. It reminds you of, like, one of the organizations I used to work for,

I used to just always try to, like, when kids would go through the program, they would try to, like, hire the kids into the jobs. It was like this kind of self-sustaining machine. I feel like Netflix now is like, all right, you'll do the show. and then you'll become a host and then you'll come back on another show. You know, it's like, it's this all little... You could have a career.

Career pill. It was people, like New York and all those people, they really started that concept of like, if I make enough of a splash on this show, I will get spinoffs, I will get invited to other competition shows, and you can kind of make a weird career out of it. But then other people like, Izzy,

you're like, it's not gonna happen to it. Izzy. You're not a reality star, buddy. It's not gonna happen to you. Yeah. You just like... And that's good. You don't want to be that.

Like, who wants to be that? You don't want to be that person? Totally. Yeah, the other day, that's not, that's like very small group of people who are, you know, thrive in that sort of environment, you know? People like Harry. Yeah, exactly. People like Harry.

And especially, it's so funny because he keeps being like, no, I'm here for a wife. I'm coming here this time. I'm not here to fuck around. I'm air for a wife. And then he just keeps fucking around. Like he doesn't. Stop lying. Harry, we know you're lying. You don't want a wife. You want, like, or you do and you want someone that stays at home and, like, you pump it into and then you get to go out and do whatever the hell you want to do. Maybe that's what you want. Yeah. But, like, you are certainly not acting like a person that is looking for a wife. I'm just going to say that, only that level of player could somehow, like, sound grosser when they say they're dating to get a wife and to just fuck around. You're like, actually, that's really. That's really. You're like, actually, that's really.

worse. I like, I actually don't want you to be dating for a wife. It somehow makes you, like, less trustworthy than ever. Yeah. I'd rather you just fuck around, honestly. Yeah, just fuck around. Stay, everyone stay in their lane. Is he's, your lane is not reality television. And Harry, your lane is fuckboy. And it has been fun, it has been a little fun to watch Dominique. And I do think that we are slowly watching Dominique truly realize that she prefers dating women over dating men and like every single like it's just like man this is this is why i date women that's great and uh yeah dude i understand a reality show where by the end all of the women are queer and not just queer and they're just dating each other please i mean again and i'm

waiting for queer ultimatum to come back man i'm so mad they they said that the next season is coming out but i thought that that meant that they were surprised dropping the season during Pride Month, but that is not the case. No way, because they wouldn't want to make something compete directly with something they already have. So they're not going to put out perfect match. I just thought it would start right after this was done because it would still be like the end of Pride Month. Maybe.

No, it's not. It's not coming out until the fall. Well, I'm going to die of hunger, so I adjourn this talking TV. You just start getting some snacks in here, boy? I guess it is. We've been going for hours, though, so, yeah. All right. Let's take the song and give it a goodbye.

Until next week. We're talking TV with MJ Holden and Jackie. Talking TV and you know it's going to get wacky. Because everybody knows, whatever knows. Everybody knows. Everybody knows. Everybody knows we're watching shows. Talking TV with MJ Holden and Jackie.

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