Page 7 - Talkin' TV - IT'S A WIG.

Episode Date: December 18, 2024

This week on Talkin' TV Holden's limpin' across the finish line, with the help of House of Villains, Jackie makes her case for New York being the best reality star of all time, and MJ brings up the similarities between New York and Mary from Real Housewives of SLC.  MJ recommends a new Ina Garten series and Jackie sadly gives the news that Linda thinks Ina Garten is booooring, but Jackie comes in with a strong recommendation for "Creature Commandos!"  Holden recommended "English Teacher", which somehow just had an abuse scandal roughly an hour before recording,  "What We Do In The Shadows" wraps up with its series finale, and MJ relates to Kieran Culkin not showing his kids the Home Alone films as they are kind of a nightmare for a small child. Jackie gives a rundown of the Christmas classics she's been running through with Linda, MJ tells tale of "The Merry Gentleman" on Netflix, Holden brings up a film featuring a far more foul group of Merry Gentleman, then makes it worse by bringing up JonBenét Ramsey, AND MORE on this week's Talkin' TV!  House of Villains Season 2 - PeacockLIFE IN THE COLDEST VILLAGE - Kiun B YoutubeBe My Guest with Ina Garten- MaxCreature Commandos - MaxEnglish Teacher - HuluWhat We Do In The Shadows - HuluOnly Murders In The Building - HuluHome Alone 1 and 2 - Disney+Christmas with the Kranks - Amazon PrimeFour Christmases - HuluThe Merry Gentlemen - Netflix Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Do-t-da-da-da-do. We're talking to TV with MJ Holden and Jackie. We're talking TV. And you know it's going to get whack and everybody knows and everyone knows. And everybody knows. We're watching shows. We're talking TV with MJ Holden and Jackie. Yeah.

Yeah, man. I am feeling a bit of a limp across the finish line here. I will say I'm in a, I feel frozen in, like the movie. Let it go. Yeah, a little bit. I'm excited to let it go. I'm like ready for, unlike last year where I was truly dreaded. It was a hard year last year.

And so a big crazy Florida Charlotte trip was, was weighing on me in a way that it's not this year because we've ironed some things out with that kind of stuff. and Winnie's a little less insane and, you know, all that good stuff. But yeah, it is a self-care time when it comes to watching things, you know what I mean? And my self-care comes in the form of House of Villains. Shoutouts, we're nearing the close of it,

but that has been the go-to. New York's amazing, you know. She's perfect. She is the perfect reality star. I'm fairly, like, certain that I would follow her, into the dark. I love how, because like, I feel like now at this point

you can kind of tell that New York is obviously different outside of the reality sphere. Right. Right. That, like, she's got to be, because everyone says that she's very nice, but then you watch her, like, click into

oh my God, in House of Villains when she was like, when she decided that, like, she could, like, magically control everything. Like she really feels like she is able to like connect with the house to get what she wants done. And how do you not support a woman like that? It's a real skill of a reality star to make it seem like they're the one who's crazy and not smart and out of control. And everyone kind of like rolls their eyes at them and just condescends to them and is like,

what a maniac that person is. But really they're the ones who have it all in their control. I feel like she knows exactly what she's doing. Mary from Real House of Salt Lake City, I might also put in this category. Like at first you're like, this lady is crazy. Oh, my God.

And as you realize, she's cunning. She knows what she's doing. Woo! I'm not her granddaddy. You definitely are her granddaddy. But, you know, that's just how are you fair in the world of SLC? I slowed down a little bit this week.

but I'm continuing to enjoy it. I'm in season four. Oh, what did your whole family have COVID or something? Oh, what? You couldn't watch all the tight-faced women scream at each other. All I wanted to do, this is what I wanted to do was flee from my family, go to a hotel and watch 24 hours of Real Housewives Salt Lake City until I was caught up with all five seasons, but I couldn't.

But I'm just saying, I feel like New York, when I first met New York, I was like, wow, what an out-of-control person. and then I realize this person has everything in control. They're doing exactly, things are going exactly how they want them to go. And I think that this is the real housewives magic is you see these women and you're like, these women don't understand anything. And it turns out they understand everything. Everything.

Yeah, it's funny. I'm realizing that New York's game is really smart in House of Villains. She establishes herself as like insane and not to be fucked with very immediately. she's like, she just lays it down in the first like two or three episodes. And ever since then, she's actually been very chill and reasonable. That's the thing.

It's like a teacher at the beginning of the school year. No one's fucking with her because she established herself as like completely volatile right up top and everyone kind of already knows her M.O. anyway. So she just sort of like was like, yep, I'm a crazy ass bitch, remember? And then for the rest of the time, she can kind of sit back a little bit.

No one wants to mess with her because it's a nightmare. Teachers say that you're supposed to be like, you're not supposed to be, nice or soft until October when you've already established fear in the children. Yeah. I think that this is what teachers should do, but some of them talk like this. Like you have to establish the fear and then you can build the trust. I love it.

I think that that sounds like that's a New York strategy, establish the fear and then build the endearment. And then build. But then also, yeah, it's been amazing with Bad Girls Club has been a revelation for me. I'm just so thrilled with it. I love like, I think the difference in like, my. modern, I think for some reason, reality has gotten to the point where everything's like a morality tale. Yes. Like even back in the day, there was like charm school or Toll Academy, but the whole idea was they are reforming these people or, you know, any of the flavor of loves or anything like that.

I mean, they start insane, but by the end, they're like trying to find genuine love or whatever. And then with love is blind and all those kinds of shows. Love is blind and too out to handle our. to handle. Incredibly puritanical. Despite being so sexy, it's a puritanical vision of what love is and what sex should be. My prayers have been answered when I was complaining about Tuatano. So I was like, Tohantanil, I just want to show that just has no morals.

And it's just trying to put people in positions to be in crazy sex positions. Yeah. Love Island, kind of. But again, it's about like, by the end of it, they're all in relationships and they're all like trying to, you know, like run for office essentially in a campaign where they're like trying to come off like all perfect or whatever, right? And try to get you to vote for them. But bad girls club, it's about being a bad girl. There's literally no goal. It's, it's just, can you stay in the house? Survival's the goal. Can you stay in the house? Can you not hit anyone? Can you can you not? Because that might get you

out can you know and you know and we're just going to apply them with drinks and go to the club in LA and it's fucking chaos and I'm so here for it. It's lawless. It's hell. Yeah. It's like it's like the Jersey Shore. Yeah. It's like it was the hayday. And there was no like this is, it reminds me of when we watched holiday and handcuffs as our Christmas watch launch, which was from 2007. And there was, we were just talking on the main episode about Frozen coming out in 2013 and that that was The cultural vibe of the aughts was like, I don't want to use the word woke, but it was like, let's do inclusivity. Let's do feminism. Let's do.

And even in reality shows, I talk about this all the time. It's somewhere along the line, there was like a memo sent to reality shows. It was like, instead of having the bitches fight with each other, have the bitches like unite to fight against the men because it's like anti-sisterhood to have all the bitches cut each other down. We want the bitches to be in a sisterhood together. And I love that. and it's nice. But then you go back and watch things that are pre-2010

and you watch Holiday and handcuffs and it's just like, what if we drugged a man and kidnapped him and used him for sex? And if you watch reality shows from earlier that time, it's just like,

what if these bitches were crazy bitches? And I guess that is also the premise of, you know, Real Housewives still to this day. But I feel like Bad Girls Club it was just like,

there's no like, oh, but these bitches are also like business women. But real housewives, they have to maintain some form of like class, whatever. Yeah, I think it's still, I think it's like their real housewife, but like I run a, yes, they're trashy and we want to point and laugh at them. Oh, yeah.

I run a business. Yeah, bad girls club. You know, like, I'm a mother, you know. And in bad girls club, it's just like. Yeah, exactly. There's no children or some of them do have, I think, like one or two as a kid. Well, one just left because she beat the fuck out of another one because she tried to speak ill of her being a mother.

And so she beat the shit out of her. It was awesome. Portia, what's up? Hell yeah. That's a good mom, you know? It was awesome. Yeah, everyone was like, yeah, to beat your fucking ass too.

I would have beaten your face in too. If you said anything about me, being a shitty mob. So it was great. Honestly, if you want that, but the exact opposite, but it really is technically the most that you can ask for,

I have been watching a lot of this YouTube channel that talks about the day in the life of people. that live in the coldest village on earth. And yes, it's Yakusha. And yes, I've been watching Q&B's YouTube. And I've been watching a lot of it of just thinking of how difficult. I just have been coming home after long days of like Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas with my mother.

And then I come home and I'm like, I just want to watch people just think about the daily struggle. Right. Of when you have to melt the ice to have your drinking water. Right. Think about. But also it's not like that. It's also because they all really enjoy, they are enjoying their life experiences living in the coldest village on earth. And, you know, no one's beaten the shit out of each other in it.

But, man, there's a lot of ice fishing. That's great, man. That really shows me that, like, your life is, that's how shady things are going for you lately, that you want to go and be like, wow, look at the simple people in their simple world. I want to live like the Yakut. I don't. And I know that there's no way that I could. But then I watch it. I'm just like, man, they're not crying all day. I feel like I cry all day. When things are getting too intense to walk to slow things down. You know, they're just worried about a fjure or whatever the fuck it is. The kids can't go to school when it is lower than negative 55 degrees outside because then it's too dangerous. My Lord. There you go. Well, how about this? I've been watching a show called Be My My God. with Ina Garten. Oh my God, MJ. I want to watch it so bad.

My mom, does it like Ina Garten? What? I texted Jaggett. I said, watch this show with Linda. It seems like something Linda would love it. Apparently, I don't know Linda. She doesn't like Anna Garten. Not enough.

She's not enough. You know what? I understand. That's fair. Yeah. Ina Garten is a boring woman. Only, I think us and usually other people that are older, I think it's enjoy her.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I feel like the most basic bitch I've ever felt like in my life because I started watching the show. It's on. You know, I never explore the Food Network section of Max. I forget that all of that shit from Discovery Plus was acquired into Max.

Yes. And so you can just go and watch the shit that I used to watch on Food Network over. You can watch a bunch of beat Bobby Flay if you want to. And I never do that. And I used to do that all the time. And I miss it. And so I said, Ooh, a new show with Ina Garten.

And not only did I enjoy it, I like wrote down quotes from it. It spoke to me. Julia Louis Dreyfus speaking with Ina Garten. And I mean, Ina Garten is not a good interviewer because she's self-centered. But yet, it's an interview show. She invites you to her house. She makes you a dish upon your arrival for. Wait, is it tailored for you or is it just something she wants to make?

It's just something she wants to make. But she'll talk about it. Well, okay, so I watched Bobby Flay, and she's like, Bobby Flay likes Irish coffee. So I'm going to make him an Irish coffee avogato. And so for him, it was a little bit catered. But then Julia Louis Dreyfus was coming, and who knows what she likes. So I think she made her an omelet, you know. So you could go either way.

And an omelet. It looked like a good omelet. I mean, I'm sure she makes a great omelet. Don't get me wrong. It looks like a good omelet. But then, yeah, she just had, like, lovely conversation with them. And I just forgot how soothing she is. You know, like, it's just, it is...

You can fall right to sleep to the sound of her voice. Yes, it is heroin for the brain and the way that it makes you just stop really feeling and thinking. And that's what I needed. And you know what Julia Louis Dreyfus said? She said, sharing a laugh with someone, this is the quote that I wrote down. This is maybe a sign of my own mental health. She said, sharing a laugh with someone is like speaking another language with them. And I was like, I'm like, God, I get to share a lab with check.

Oh. And that shows what crisis. You guys are so depressing. What is happening? What is going on here, guys? No, I watched something that was very thirsty. I watched something that for me was very, very thirsty. And I was like, I was saying, you all need to watch some bitches being bitches, I think, or something.

I think we do need bitches being bitches, but I will throw it out there. Holden, have you been, I didn't know anything about that, like, the new James Gunn show, like the new Creature Command. Like, have you heard anything about Creature? No. No. The new James Gun Venture, they dropped two episodes of this animated superhero show. And the first two episodes, I was so sucked in.

Man, that fucker knows how to write and put, I mean, obviously he's not writing it. But putting together a fun ensemble that you. immediately fell in love with all of the characters. I was like, I will watch every second of it. It is on Max. I beg anyone, if you think maybe I'm a monster fucker, start watching this show and get back to me on how you feel about the bride of Frankenstein because, man, when an animated character can make you,

like, she's just this like big, like kind of killing machine, but she's also the bride of Frankenstein. And she's hard as shit. And I've fallen in love with an animated character. And I'm fine with it. And I love her. And she is, the first two episodes were great. Highly, highly recommend.

What's it called? Creature Commandos. And it is a, like, they're each, like, 20-minute episode. So it's not too much of a time commitment. And they're dropping an episode a week. And I don't know if this is, like, based on something or if this is just made up. because that's why I guess I was also asking you, Holden, because I've never heard of, you know,

I don't know anything about any of these things. So I don't know if it's, like, based on something. I'm assuming it is on a DC comic, I'm assuming. I mean... Yes, it is based on DC comics. It's the first entry... Okay. It's the first entry in the DCU's Chapter 1,

Gods and Monsters. Cool. So I didn't know, obviously, anything about this, but really, and also David Hartford. does some of the voices for it. Alan Tudek does. And I, that's it. I got really horny about it, which during a week of none horniness, it was very surprising

that I watched something and I went like, whoa, do I remember what being horny feels like? Found a bit of horny in ye. Oh, I found it in creature commandos. In every conflict, there's at least one bitch, a huge bitch, a silly bitch. A little baby bitch, a raggedy bitch. But sometimes it's unclear who the bitch is. I'm Kara Klank. And I'm Jackie Zabrowski.

And on our new Colin Advice podcast, we're going to help you figure out who's the bitch. We want to hear your problems, dilemmas, and quandaries. No topic is off limits. Does your coworker flirt with the boss to get ahead? Is your bestie having her destination wedding on a holiday weekend? Is your therapist being clingy? Does your friend keep bringing her top? to adult parties.

Come on. There's definitely a bitch in your life, and we want to hear about it. You can email us, DM us, leave us a voicemail, and even call in live to talk to us in person about the alleged bitch in your life. Just go to who's the bitch.com

for all the ways you can contact us. New episodes drop every Wednesday starting in October on the Last Podcast Network, so subscribe now on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. And tune in to our live stream kickoff on September 30th on the Last Podcast Network, Twitch channel where we'll be taking your calls live on air.

Help us help you figure out who's the bitch. Well, I have thoroughly been enjoying a show you've already talked about a while ago on this program that we do here. But I will reiterate because I also thought about MJ a lot. So I feel like MJ really got to give English teacher a watch if you haven't already. Yes, I do want to watch English teacher. I've heard it's fantastic. And I also want to watch Evan Elementary. I don't know why I've been holding out.

I love how they're handling. Oh, yeah. You love both. I find it hard to address, like, modern day, you know, anything that's, like, woke or modern day politics, like, social politics and stuff like that in the school. And I think they do such a good job of it here where, like, I think where other shows fail is that, like, they clearly have an opinion and they're not willing to, like, take the piss out of, you know, the side that they think is good.

So, for example, that I believe it's just the second episode of the series, Trixie Mattel makes an appearance. And it's like teaching the football players to do the, what do you call it when they're the cheerleaders of the homecoming powder puff, right, to do the powder puff thing. And really like lean in and commit and go like full drag. But like, and it's great. and it's really funny and like all that stuff is really funny. But also the drag queen is like awful and like a thief and like a bad person.

You know what I mean? Whereas like in other shows like this that fail, like the drag queen's just amazing. Right. It's too one dimensional. Yeah. And it's just very like lame and like, you know, corny. And I feel like they do such a good job in this of towing the line and like shitting. on the stuff that even is, you know.

Yeah. Yeah, like, yeah, taking the piss out of everything, you know. And I think that's a lot of fun. Yeah, I know what you mean. That, like, sometimes if you're trying to do kind of like more socially progressive comedy, you end up not painting like a complicated and in-depth picture of the thing that you're trying to show. And instead, it's kind of more flat.

But you're saying that they... Yeah, I always think of that one, I don't even remember the show. I know it had the guy from the original cast of Book of Mormon in it, what didn't end up playing Olaf. And they had this whole segment about women breastfeeding in public. And they did this whole corny-ass scene in a restaurant with a bunch of women breastfeeding. And it was like, my milkshake brings other boys in the yard. And they're like breastfeeding the babies.

And it's so dumb and corny and just lame as fuck. It was just so like, it just makes that side of things look. shit, like out of touch and shitty. And I think that that's like a lot of the problems of, like, comedy is not a very inherent in a lot of these kinds of like social, you know, people, like social warring that we're doing. There's not, it's not, it's not, it's kind of the opposite, actually. It's kind of like we've been trying to bring comedy back into this space without being a fucking shithead podcast, bro.

You know what I mean? Right, right. It's like tough to pull off. Yeah, yeah. The left side is still funnier, but sometimes the art that is being made on that side might be afraid to go places because it doesn't want to. Is it overcorrection? I hear what you're saying. Yeah. I'm just sad over here because I looked up the sitcom because I wanted to have it pulled up. And we got gaitians literally today. There are gaitians. Against the lead, dude and director and writer. And it seems like there is. truth to this and it makes me immediately so sad if this show doesn't get picked up for another season. That's immediately

what I first thought. It was like, no, all the people that did such a great job. No, I hope it's not real. I'm saying this I'm literally just reading through the first of the Gatians. It dropped an hour ago. Really? As I'm looking at this.

Accused by former collaborator. Alleged, all of this is all. It's all legend. It's all alleged. I'm just saying that like it's such a good show and everybody did such a great job with it. And like, Is that so funny that's where we're, I hope you're not a bad person.

It's like, I don't know what justice to be. It's like, no, I just want another season of the show. Everybody's a piece of shit. I just don't want everybody to be a piece of shit. I'm not,

it's all legend. I have no idea. Like I said, a story dropped an hour ago. I just, I'm just throwing it out there because, who knows, by the time this episode drops tomorrow,

it could be like, holding your supporting a bad, you know? And I'll say about future that, I'm still fine with it. Whoa. Still like the show. Sorry. Oh, is it 2025?

Yes, it is. Still like the show. I still do like the show. And I hope that. Refuse to say that to a microphone. I just think of all the people that worked really hard on it. And I hope that it doesn't go the way of the dodo. I've said going the way of the dodo, I think like 15 times in the last three days.

It's because you've been around your mother a lot. Yes. you're thinking about how she's going the way of the do-dows. That's not what we're saying. I'm just, I think it's just the phrase. I think it's just an antiquated phrase that is now trapped inside of my mouth. Another show, though, I will say that I talked about a while ago that I did, we haven't watched the last episode, but we're all caught up because the final, final episode just

dropped, and that is what we do in the shadows. Oh, I haven't started the season yet. This season is great. Yeah. This season, they, I feel like they knew it was the last one. They just like, we are swinging for the fences. I really feel like they got back to, like, they were trying shit in the last, like, two seasons. And I think that that was a lot of fun.

Like the little Colin Robinson stuff, that was all very fun. But it definitely, like, they were experimenting, which I love. Yeah. But this last season is just like, bam, bam, bam. Like, I'm immediately going to watch this season again. I'm really enjoying it. And I, you know, it's really difficult for me to stick the landing and watching the final episode. So I don't know when I'm going to watch the final episode because I don't want it to

be over. And so in my brain, if I never watch the final episode, it will never be over, which we all know is not the case. This is why I still haven't seen the last episode of trailer park boys. I understand. I understand. I completely understand. But highly recommend catching up now, all the episodes have dropped and you can just swallow the whole season at your leisure. Well, speaking of another, I feel like this is another comedy that does try. try to do the like kind of socially conscious thing, but in a very, very well done way is only murders in the building. Yes.

I'm a million years late to the party, obviously. My parents have been telling me to watch Only Murders in the Building for literal years. Oh, yes. And I've been like, blah, blah, blah. Oh, it's such a parents show. I know. Well, of course, immediately I was like, I totally know why my parents love this.

It's like set in a stunning building in Manhattan, you know, stars like two heroes of their generation with Steve Martin and Martin Short. But like I really, sometimes I get a little bit eye-roly at art that is made, that, that is like a little bit inside baseball in terms of like, you know, art that is satirizing the business or about the business. And like Martin Short is like, you know, he's like a pretentious director and, and Steve Martin is a, you know, kind of washed up actor. and sometimes that stuff does feel like a little bit heavy-handed or a little bit like,

sometimes I'm like, who is this for if this is just like this is written by like Hollywood people about Hollywood kind of like, but I feel, I don't feel that way at all about only murder so far. I just feel like it's so fun. It's so funny. And the way that they bring in Selena Gomez to be the like Gen Z voice, like when they're, when the two boomer men are saying these like awkward and like antiquated things about like, they're talking about going on a date and Martin Short's like, don't comment on anything she's wearing, but you can comment on something she's holding.

And it's just like, no, no. And it's like so fun to have, like, I'm so surprised by how much I enjoy the dynamic between the three of them. It reminds me a little bit of like how everyone was like, Tim Walls is like the model of masculinity that we all wish we had, like a non-threatening loving father. Like, I feel like having two, there's something about having two older men in this extremely nice and sweet and not creepy relationship with a very young woman that is like, it's just so enjoyable to watch. It's so fun. And also, they do have that relationship with her in real life as well.

And it is amazing. Yes. Yes. When she got engaged to Betty Blanco and they said, congratulations from your two weird uncle. I'm so excited and, you know. I keep trying to, by the way, because I brought up Biddy Blanco before being like, I keep seeing like, and this is why I'm so glad I'm barely on Twitter because it's all just bullshit now. I went on and it was like a thread about how Bini Blanco and what's her name or like an evil couple and terrible. Yeah, I saw it was Trinna Gomez.

And every single thing I was like, it's Lidie Gomez. It seems like they're, it seems like they're just nice. It seems like they're just fine. Every single thing or was like some joke he made 10, 20 years ago that wasn't even that bad. Yeah, no. Twitter's, like, I'm just so over this shit. Yeah, there was also a threat about how Billy I wish Ilish is queer baiting everyone. And I was like, can we, can we not?

God, I'm just so exhausted by it. Yeah, exactly. It was why it's, again, getting back to the joylessness of some of that shit is grading after while. It's like, come on, guys, you know, just. fucking. And I have no relationship with Selena Gomez. I don't her previous acting or her music and I am just

she's great man. She's really funny. She's delightful. She's great. It took me a long time to watch it just because I was so I was so like, why does Selena Gomez get to work with Mark Short? Right. Steve Martin. Totally. She gets to do it. But it's like she's very good in it. Like she's perfect for it. That's why she gets to do it. Yeah, yeah. It's a great, it's a great trio. It really is. And just for the New York, like, if you love things set in New York, this building, God, I'm like, also we watched Home Alone, too, and I was like freaking out about the building that Kevin goes to that his uncle lives in. I was like, I want to go into this New York Brownstone. During Home Alone 2, we spent so much time talking about like, you know, walking into those kind of like the plaza and walking into

those kind of, like, they always update the lobby, but have you seen the rooms? Like, inside of, like, the Waldorf and stuff like that, you pay such an exorbitant amount of money, and then they never update any of the rooms. So all the rooms are just, oh, dusty, musty. Wait, really? Yes. And that, like, it is, so your pay, so they keep, they always upkeep the lobby to make sure that it looks so opulent, but then the rooms are just, I'm sure that. I'm sure, that there's some that are new, I guess, but, like, they just don't have the... Because, like, what would you do?

You'd have to shut down the hotel, you know what I mean? And so they're just leaving... Because then it's vintage. But that sounds nice to me. I would want to stay in an old-fashioned room at the plaza. But it's disgusting. It's not clean? I mean, it's, like, as clean as you can get it.

But you remember, they used to also smoke and, like, do all... It's still the same fucking building that, you know, imagine what those walls have seen. And we did spend... And that's when you know you're getting old, when you spend a lot of Home Alone 2, that or how many times we made jokes, which of course, how much money does that father make? Jesus Christ. I know, they're so rich. How much money does he make?

But then they even get down to explaining every single minute detail because while we're watching Home Alone 2, we're like, why do they go to that podunk place in Florida when like he's got all this money? and it's because Uncle Frank picked it out because they went there for their honeymoon and it was things like that that I was like but why does that happen?

It's like man, Dan, was it Christopher Columbus that wrote both Home Alone one and two? I will say I feel like having just watched both I do feel like Home Alone 2 holds up

surprisingly well for a sequel. Really? We also just watching both. Oh, written by John Hughes. Oh, written by John Hughes. Just directed by Chris Columbus. Yeah, yeah. Yes.

But man, John Hughes. The Dream Team. And I haven't sat and watched Home Alone one and two, like, legitimately in I don't know how long. They're so good. They're really good movies. And, man, how, like, someone was talking about showing Home Alone. Oh, it was the Kieran Culkin article that he was like, I don't want to show my kids home alone yet. And I thought that the article was going to be like, oh, it's because his character in it pees the

bed and he doesn't want his kids to see that. No, he's like, Home Alone's actually very scary and my kids are five and three and I don't think that they're ready. In the end, he's holding Kevin McAllister's fingers threatening to bite them all off. That's very scary. I showed my kids last year when they were five and four and we always fast forward through all the scary parts. And this year, they were we we we we what they wanted they love it like they love it and it is because it's such a good movie and it's it hits for both of us in different ways because for me I'm like I was like like I think my brother is Kevin McAllister's is McCalley Coulton's exact age so I'm like this is my childhood oh dude yeah I mean I didn't live in a house like that but it just feels so nostalgic

so extremely comfortingly nostalgic to me and then for them yeah it's just like this is the most, just, you know, the atmosphere, the entire thing is so thrilling. But then whenever we get to the extremely long, by the way, for fast forwarding through it, it's like 40 minutes of gratuitous. Of straight violence. And they wanted to try watching it with Home Alone 2. And I hadn't seen Homealoon 2 in forever. So I was like, okay. So at least with Home Alone 1 now, I kind of know when to fast forward. They're the worst parts. But we were watching it and something happened. It was the part where Marv is getting electrocuted and it like cuts to a skeleton being electrocated. Yes, which is very fun.

And the kids got really, really scared. And so we stopped. But it was my opportunity to explain how movies are made. And I was like, you know how we have a giant pink skeleton from Target? And they were like, yeah. And I was like, so what they did to make that shot was they had a camera on the actor who was pretending to be electrocuted, going shaking his body, going, ah! And they were flashing lights to make it look like he's electrocuted. And then they stopped the film.

And then they brought in a big toy skeleton just like, we have a big toy skeleton, just like we have a. big toy skeleton and they put the costume on him and then they started the film again and then they cut again and they cut back to the actor and the kids were like how did they do the part where they threw the bricks and i was like they had an artist whose job it was to probably fake bricks a big piece of foam like the ones are the phone that's played all of the entertainment business to your kids actually was very fun because i was like it's somebody i was like it's an artist's job to make it look like a real brick and it's an artist's job to make a sound so that when it's because they were like, but when it falls, it makes a loud sound like a brick.

I was like, that's another artist job. So I ended up by traumatizing my children slightly by showing them home alone too when they're too young, I ended up getting to explain how movies are made. I think that's awesome. But also, I think you should tell them and explain to them about stunt people because I think that we should really be celebrating the stunt people that are in Home Alone one and two because they had to actually do a lot of those things. Yes, I did.

But you don't want to, I guess, explain that portion of it. Yes, yes. Oh, no, I explain stunt people to them when we watch Freaky Friday because the stunt double in Freaky Friday is like one man for every character. And it is, if you ever watch the original Freaky Friday, it is a delight because anytime there's a stunt, it just cuts to this one man who's very visibly not, you know, Jody Foster or. Yes, yes. Oh, yeah. And it's so obvious that I like pause. I was like, kids, look at this. Do you see how that's not Jody Foster? It's a stunt man. So I explained what stunt people are and what they have. That's great. I love that. But I did. And my head was all the list items that you've read over the years about all the people who actually gotten hurt on the set of films, which I left out, of course. But I was like... Yeah, you know, they don't need it all that yet. I mean, and also, don't let them know because I just looked up home alone. And apparently, also today, what dropped is that McCollie Couloghens said that apparently in that scene when he's holding his fingers, Joe Pesci accidentally bit him. And he has a scar. on his finger from it. And he said it was the only time I ever saw Joe Pesci scared was the second he accidentally and then like immediately was like, oh, I just bit a kid.

Oh my God. And like immediately very, very upset. And I imagine that that's got to be very upsetting for Joe Pesci. But think of the trauma that we, McCulley, Gokin went through. Yeah, that is upsetting. We actually looked up. The kids were like, again, they were a little concerned about Harry and Marv. And I looked up.

And I was like, Daniel Stern and Joe Pesci are both alive and well. And I was like, Joe Pesci is 81. He's about your grandparents' age and isn't that nice? And so I was like, they're fine. Everybody's fine. When you make a movie, it's all art. It's just a bunch of artists making an illusion. None of it is real.

Except that then McCauley Calkin really did get his finger bitten off, which I'm going to keep that fun fact in my back pocket. I'm not going to talk. In the back pocket. Yeah. Scare them within the future. Let's watch. Show him the crow next.

Yeah. Explain on-set disasters. All of this except for one thing is fake. But one thing is not fake. One big thing. One big devastating thing is not fake about this. But man, I do, all of that said, I think Kieran Culkin's right. Five and three are a little young. But watching Home Alone, the Home Alone franchise with my children, has been an incredibly

wonderful experience. They are so good and just hit. exactly right for the nostalgia for for me. Oh, yes. And it's like we watched all, because my mom was in town, so essentially we had Christmas a week early, so we watched all the hits.

We watched, you know, both the Home Alone's. We did Scrooge, we did National Lampoons, we did Muppet Christmas Carol again, we did my mom, we've been throwing in, you know what, I'm going to throw it out there, Christmas with the cranks, not that bad. Oh, yeah? If you enjoy a Tim Allen lead.

because Jamie Lee Curtis is in it. And Jamie Lee Curtis is amazing. And it has Dan Aykroyds in it, Christmas with the cranks. And I didn't know why I was actually surprised every time I watch it, that I'm like, this movie isn't as bad as a lot of those movies are. And I'm not saying, you know, it's not the best movie you're ever going to watch. I don't think it deserves the 5% it has on Rotten Tomatoes, especially when Hook has 26%. I feel like, and Hook deserves so much more.

I think 5% is a bit mean. I'm going to throw that out there, Rotten Tomatoes. Wow. But it is, the screenplay was written by Chris Columbus. Oh. And I wonder if that is part of the reason why, like, it is, it's not that bad. If you're watching movies with your parents and you're like, I can't watch National Lampoon again, they're on Christmas with the cranks.

It's about there. And also a lot of boomer parents will smile about it because it. is about like having a Christmas without your kid for the first like without your grown up child for the first time and it is about them like what if they decided to just go on a an island cruise instead but uh something gets in the way i will i'm so lucky that i live in the same city as my parents now and so when we don't have to travel to see them for christmas and it's not a whole ordeal of flights that hold in his face down right now. But I, there is like a big part of me that just misses the thing where you

arrive at your parents' house and you're like, well, I'm here for 24 hours. So I guess we'll just watch like four Christmas movies today. You know, like, and that just kind of like laying around a bit that, you know, it's certainly loaded for many people and is not always amazing. 100%. But I, that the, the, the extent to which you can really watch a family stone. I'm like, When do I watch Family Stone? And with whom? By myself. By yourself.

My husband doesn't want to watch it again. I've already made him watch it once. And I think that was one time too many. Oh, MJ, I'll watch it with you. I don't have anyone to watch it with either. Let's get sad together. I love to be sad, especially during the holidays. And I actually was surprised because for the first time this year, and I don't know how I

never watched it, I feel like I've seen the memes about four holidays for years, which is a re-switherspooned. Four Christmases, Vince Vaughn, 2008. Four Christmases. Yeah, four Christmases. Sorry. I write four holidays. Come on.

Come on. Jackie. Jackie, it's Christmas on holidays. Four Christmases. Four Christmases. Four Christmases. I'm sorry, four Christmases. I, you know, another one that has a 25% of rotten tomatoes, but I'm going to be with you, real with you guys.

This movie is packed full of very, great comedy character actors. Yeah. And yeah, it's not the best written thing. And I will say the actual storyline of her being like, I don't want kids. Maybe I do want kids. Kind of makes me want to burn down my own building. But everyone else in it, like, it is just a fun, there were moments I actually legitimately laughed aloud. Yeah. Yeah. I think I said confessed last week that I kind of like for Christmases. It's not that bad. And I'd never seen it. It's really Yeah. It's not that bad. How about Fred Claws? How do we feel about Fred Clause? I might be busy for another rewatch of Fred Clause. I've never seen it. It's just I'm looking

at the list of kind of like, because I'm like at this point I'm like, what have I not seen? You know, I feel like I've, I mean, Red One is now fully available. It's already available. We start. watching it because my mom saw it in the movie theater and loved it so much that we needed to see it again. And I will throw it out there. I will watch anything that has a jacked J.K. Simmons in it too. Like, I'm down. Yeah, it's going to be, yeah. I'm definitely going to check it out.

But apparently we had to like pay attention more to the plot. So we ended up shutting it off because I'm going to be real with you when you're watching many, many hours of holiday movies. You're going to talk through them. Right. And I didn't know that Red One also had. has what's his name, Chris Evans in it. Yeah, that's, again, there's... I'll watch it.

I'll fucking watch it. Yeah, they were going for that whole, what if Santa was MCU? You're like, please stop. It's too much of it. Yeah. And they go, no, no, you need it. You have to have it.

But you do need things to put on in the... I do feel like there's a specific genre of Christmas movie that's on in the background. In the background. There's the type you sit and watch, which I would put Home Alone in that category. I would put... It's a wonderful life in that category.

I'm up a Christmas Carol. But then there's others that are just, And then there's the Hallmark genre. And I do need to talk about Mary Gentleman, the Netflix. The Netflix. Yes, you do. You do need to. So it's called Mary Gentleman.

It is called Mary Gentleman. I got to say, of all of the new Netflix imitation Hallmark movies I have seen, and I have seen many, I think this is the best one in terms of getting the formula right. Because the formula, as we know, is high-powered bitch comes back from the city to her hometown. He has to save something. Oh, my God. Chad Michael Murray looks the cover. I need everybody.

Look up the cover of the merry gentleman. I didn't even realize it was him. What is going on with his hair? Oh, my God. What is this? What happens in this movie? What is going on with his hair? I'll tell you what happens.

Okay. Please. The high-powered bitch, her business, the Rockettes, except they're called Jingle Bells. So she's a racquet. But guess what? But she's too old to be a racquet. She gets cut.

Oh, no. And she has to go back home for Christmas. Oh, no. She's an old ass bitch. And she has to go back home to her Christmas, her a town, which is called Sycamore Creek. Of course. And that's what a town is supposed to be called in a movie like this.

More like sick a whore leak. Yeah. Sick a whore leak. I like sick a hoary cold. So she goes back home. Leaky ass. I think she needs to go to a doctor if the sick of whore. Right.

If it's getting bad and yeah. If it's a leak and it needs to tweaking. I'm sorry, Angie. Yum, yum, yum, yum. She goes back home and she is back in her in Sycamore Creek and she runs into Chad Michael Murray and he's a carpenter just like Jesus. And her parents own the bar and the bar is called the Rockin' Room or something. It's a small town bar and they don't have the business that they used to, Jackie.

It used to be the rhythm room. It used to be a thriving hub of the town. I bet it was. And they can barely keep the lights on anymore. Oh, God. What do they need? Do they need a hot young thing to come in and help them make more money, MJ? You don't even know.

Oh my God. I need this movie. I should just said dick a whore leak. What's wrong with me? Just a dick a whore leak. More like dick a whore leak. Yeah, you can't go back. No, I can't, but it's so much better.

Also, sick a snore bleak. No, no, no. I'm too into this. I can't wait to watch the merry gentleman. The landlord is squeezing them for rent, Jackie. And what are they going to do? What are they going to do? This former racquet looks at this Chad Michael Murray with a weird haircut.

He definitely has a wig, by the way. We'll say top Reddit comment is that it's a wig. And it says it's a wig, a very low quality one. It's a wig, period. A very low quality one. Period. It was distracting, period. Her natural hair is cut pretty short right now, thus the wig.

Oh, I guess they're talking about her. Her hair is a wig. Her hair is a wig. Wow. I think his hair is a wig. But in any case, she puts on a, it's like a Magic Mike holiday hallmark movie. She makes it a male strip show at the rhythm room to save the hometown bar. And it's perfect.

I'm sorry, it's perfect. You are speaking all of my languages. Every language I speak, it is in the merry gentleman. Because, you know, Hot Frosty, yes, it's bad, and that's something that it has in common with a Hallmark movie, but it doesn't have the formula right, you know? Like, you need the sister saying, would it be so bad if you moved back home? You know, you need everybody being like, this bar really used to be something. I think we could bring it back. You know, you need the formula.

And they understand the formula. Yeah, more like formula. I don't know. Oh. Oh. Oh. More like Hormula. The formula is better.

But I do recommend Mary Gentleman. The Mary Gentleman, it's very good. All right. Have fun with it. I'm mad that I'm not currently watching, that was such the perfect pitch for me. I've never heard a better pitch for anything for me to watch.

Well, how about this pitch, Jackie? Hit me. Because we haven't gotten to talk about it on Target TV. A woman on OnlyFans had sex. with a hundred men in a day. You promised me you weren't going to bring it up on talking TV. Really glad that we are not talking about this, by the way. You promised me, you said, I won't.

You said, why would I bring it up and talking TV? We're talking about it now. You literally said, why would I bring it up on talking TV? We're talking about it now. Well, she cries at the end. And it's sad. Well, now it's going to sound like I was laughing about what you just said. When she cries at the end, I was laughing at what Jackie said.

You were laughing. You were laughing at, I don't, why would you bring it up, huh, ha, ha, not laughing at them. This whole situation here. I don't know how to talk about this, honestly. I need to, I really don't. That's why I don't want to talk about it because I don't know how to talk about it. It's difficult. So that's why I'm watching, right,

Merry gentlemen. Merry, gentlemen. Gentleman you just say, it's a strip glass show in your hometown. It's going to save Christmas Day. It's going to save Christmas Day. It's fine. Block it out. It's all good.

Everything should be fine. I think the worst, the scariest part of the whole documentary was she calls her mother every day calls every day they talk on the phone every day I have no problem with this woman I just hope that everybody's okay

I talk to my mom all the time I'm not to yeah I talk to mom all the time and I didn't suck 100 dicks in a day right I don't she didn't suck hundred dicks in a day Jackie she had sex with she had I'm sorry

she took them vaginally what was it three minutes each or something five minutes each they got five minutes each yeah it was awful well anyways but I will say I was gonna bring this back up

MJ because I want to get your final word on this. Who truly do you think killed John Biday-Ramsey? Uh, man, talk about another documentary that I don't think that they needed to include some of the things that they included in that documentary, specifically all the audio of the pedophile. I really don't think they needed to do that. I really don't think they needed to do that. And I'm pretty upset about it because they just did not need to do that. Why would you include a bunch of audio of a pedophile describing his fantasies? Why would you do that? Netflix? Why would you do that?

I think I got to that part yet. Nobody needs it. And, but it's not helpful. Nobody needs it. It's very upsetting and nobody needs it and I'm actually really pissed off in the John Manate documentary. I can't win right now. What? What? Those are the only things I love to stick a fuck a door creek holding I'm so sorry. I'm living in a mire of hells. I'm living in a mire of hells. The only thing I would to watch are drunk 20 year olds literally beating the shit out of each other. Yeah. Go back to your bad girls. Club. The only fans gal and the, the, who killed the girl show. I don't know who killed John

Bonae Ramsey, but I do know that the Netflix documentary did not need to include the gratuitous audio of a pedophile describing his fantasies. And I'm really furious about it. I don't think I remember that. I don't know if I saw that part. It is so needless. It's one of the suspects. And they just play out fucking so long of the tapes. It's just why would we do like we know that nothing good comes from this? Why would you do this? Why, why, why, why? Why? So I'm over it. I'm very over the Netflix documentary.

All right. So that's another strikeout by me. I don't think we'll ever know. Yeah, what else? Do you talk about cars. I think that cars too. You know, people say it's the worst Pixar movie, but I will say that cars two, it's got some legs.

I don't mind it. Got some wheels. I think it's got wheels. Yeah. The MJ! The MJ is got some. Wheels. Yeah, MJ is got some wheels. Michael Kine is in it, and it's weirdly like a James Bond movie.

No, Cars 2. But Cars 2, you know, has, it has a warmth to it that's hidden, but upon the 10th viewing, it really... You don't actually need to talk about Cars 2. I could talk more about Mary Gentleman if we still have something to talk about. I think we're good. I mean, no, we're definitely at the end of the episode, but I, man, I'll hear about I'd love a mash-up of cars too and married gentlemen. And I imagine they're all like doing their mail review while driving the cars that are also talking and putting on a show.

And if we could just mash the two together. Right. Now that is a holiday miracle right there, babies. We did it. We did it. We did it, guys. And we're going to continue onto the forward moving part of the year. Yep, that's what I said.

Beautiful. That is what I said, and I'd say it again if I remembered what I said, but I don't, so I won't. And thank you guys so much for joining us for this week's episode of Talking TV, where we talk at you about the TV. We're watching, and we love you, and we appreciate you, and we hope you have a beautiful rest of your holiday. We will be back at you with our page seven episodes this week, next week, the following week. Don't you worry about that. but talking TV will be shelved while all of the elves at the LPN

go and take the holiday vacays and some are vacays and some are just, well, time spent other places and that's okay. Have a beautiful rest of your holiday watching experience. Definitely, I mean, join me at some point we got to watch the merry gentleman.

I can't wait. And thank you, MJ, for bringing that into our lives. and you guys need to say anything and he's sending anybody off in a holiday goodbye? Yeah. You know, happy holidays. Apologies for everything I brought up

to talk about the end of the whole episode and have a holly jolly, you know, licksick day or whatever it is or not even sex. Have a sexless holiday. Hell yeah. That's what we want to wish upon. MJ?

Yes, may everyone have a sexless holiday as well. Yay. Beautiful. Let's sing the song. We're talking TV with M.J. Holden and Jackie talking TV and you know it's going to get wacky because everybody knows and everybody knows.

And everybody knows for watching shows. Talk a TV with M.J. Holden and Jackie. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting. them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.