Page 7 - Talkin' TV - Religion is a Spectrum

Episode Date: August 7, 2024

This week Jackie, MJ and Holden are gossin' 'bout Garfield and the bottom feeder known as Heathcliff, video essays, the newest season on Unsolved Mysteries on Netflix is BRUTAL, Holden has to hunt for FBoy Island on the CW app and the app is a highly frustrating mess that blasts yer ears out on the ads, the Amish dude on Forbidden Love is addicted to phone porn and keeps running away from his pregnant woman to jerk it in their car to porn and another one is just casually converting to Orthodox Judaism because it's obvs that easy, MJ's kids are calling out 90's for their MEANNESS, Jackie hops across the pond for 90 Day Fiancé UK, and in 90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way a couple is probably about to destroy their lives RV life style, and Trap delivers that M. Night flavor in a way that only Shyamalan can and MOOOORE! What The Internet Did to Garfield - Super Eyepatch Wolf YoutubeUnsolved Mysteries Season 4 - NetflixForbidden Love Season 1 - MaxNot Quite Hollywood: The Wild, Untold Story of Ozploitation - Amazon PrimeThe Decameron - Netflix90 Day Fiance: UK Season 3 - Max90 Day Fiance: The Other Way Season 6 - MaxTrap - IN THE THEATAHHHHHH Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey guys, this is Jackie Zabrowski from the Last Podcast Network, and ooh baby, do I have a juicy treat for you Law and Order SVU lovers out there? And it's a new parisocial relationship. Check out That's Messed up, an SVU podcast on the Exactly Right Network, hosted by two of my comedian friends, Kara Clank and Lisa Trager. Every week they break down an episode of Law and Order SVU, the true crime it's based on, and chat with an actor from the episode. I'm talking Margaret Cho, Matthew Lillard, and if you slip and slide at the thought of B.D. Wong,

we'll get your ears prepared because it's getting wet out here. Check out, That's Messed Up, for all things, SVU, unfiltered hot takes, and more. Again, that's That's Mess Up, an SVU podcast available wherever you get your beautiful podcasts. New apps every Tuesday, and that's not messed up. All right, it's a bad joke. With MJ Holden and Jackie talking TV And you know it's gonna get wacky Because everybody knows what everyone knows

And everybody knows for watching shows We're talking TV with MJ Holden and Jackie Oh yeah What's up? Oh yeah everybody Hell yeah And I promise it's not just gonna be me Talking about the Olympics

I promised I watched other things this week. Although I will say it was a bit of a weird week for me because I went through a uterine procedure last week. And so I was not watching my usual things, but I straight up was like, Jeff, I just need to have stuff on. Can you curate fun things for me to watch and have it set up? And I will say also he had set up a Sunday bar for me as. and got a bunch of fix-ins for all different kinds of ice cream

and did that for me to try to make me feel better. But I guess I'm going to start with, which I can't believe I'm starting with this, what the internet did to Garfield. Now, it's called what the internet did to Garfield. You guys know that Jeff and I, and I'm not talking about a lot of the video essays

that we watch because that's been our nighttime thing is watching video essays. But this one was one that he wanted to show me and it is about, I mean, what the internet did to Garfield. But I thought it was really cute because Jeff was like, I've been

wanting to watch this and I think that you would also enjoy it because it's all about Garfield. But I think he thought that I wasn't aware of what Garfield has become on the internet. And I was like, Jeff, I did Roundtable many years ago. And I was, I'm

a big, canonically, Garfield enthusiasts. I was like, you think I haven't seen every Under the Rock Garfield bullshit, all the horrific stuff. But I also really appreciate it. And I didn't want to like burst his bubble. So I didn't say this to him until after I watched it. And at this point, I'm just like sitting there on pain medication, just, you know, absorbing it. But it got us to a point where we did sit and talk about what Garfield meant to us. And I think that this was a conversation. Didn't know I needed to have it after we got married. I guess this is something you should really know about your partner.

And you don't have to choose Heathcliff or Garfield. Really? But I think it is smart to choose one. You've always, I have always thought that we had to choose. I thought we had to pick a lane here. So this is growth. Yeah. Yeah, we super do.

I'm team Heathcliff and Garfield. is for dog people. I mean, just for like, bags of, I would say. Holden's just said this canonically, but I can go ahead and say that what do you know about Heathcliff? He loves to eat fish from the garbage.

It's very Tom Cruise-like in that way. It's very you. Yeah, no wonder you like Keith Cliff so much. He's from the streets, you know what I mean? That's what I know about him. Okay, he didn't have that cushy life with John Arbuckle. He's had to make his own name for himself, rise up to the top.

You know what I mean? Mom's spaghetti, bro. That's what I'm talking about. He didn't have to deal with John's mental illness. Which is also what this movie goes into as well. You can watch it on YouTube. I was guessing like Garfield without Garfield was going to be. Of course, Garfield without Garfield.

Because Garfield without Garfield is one of my favorite things of all time. I love watching the slow descent of Madden. into John's brain and how like let's dive into that a little bit more. But of course, what the internet did to Garfield? What did it do? And if you're not aware of what the internet did to Garfield, it is make it, oh, make him horrific. There's lots and lots and lots of means.

I forget what it's, it's hashtag like, uh, I don't know about that, John. Like it's something like that. It's one of those hashtags, uh-huh. Um, that is if you, once you start going. down the worm time of it. It's a lot of like upsetting things. It's very HP Lovecraft. It's very

like cosmic god stuff. Cosmic horror that they turn Garfield into. And you're talking about a kind of crowd source to not the Auteur himself. Not Jim Davis. Not Jim Davis. This is just what the culture has done. Gotcha.

To the Garf. Wow. I had no idea. Gideon is rated the video essay. He didn't know, we enjoyed, we had a lot of fun with the Star Wars Hotel. We had really enjoyed it, but he,

it took him, my sweet Jen X husband, it took him quite a minute to get used to the fact that we were just watching a long YouTube video. He was like, what is this?

And I was like, I get it. It's a different format. It's a different format. It's a different format, but it'll suck you in. I loved it. It was great. I think what I like about it is

it's got, it's like, it's got like podcasty elements to it where you could kind of fold the laundry or do some things, but like enough of a visual element where you can, you know, you can kind of be in and out of it in a very modern way that works very well for it. But yeah, it is funny.

It is like this totally kind of different, like you have to adjust it to it to it. It feels weird calling it a documentary, but it is a documentary. Essentially. Telling a story, it's written. It's obviously like well crafted and well prepared, but there's something just about the form of it being like it. There is a talking head to me and a. YouTube format. There's a cognitive dissonance there for me of like, am I watching a YouTube video, which I associate as like five minute videos or am I watching a documentary. But I am very

intrigued because Garfield without Garfield is also one of my most favorite things. And for everyone, the Reddit is called I'm sorry, John. That's what it is. That's what you look up. That's where the Garfield horror verse is also what it is referred to. It's very Kthulhu, it's very much like the idea that like, what if Garfield is like a bit of a harbinger, like a demon of some sort that plagues John and like, you know, who's running the show here. But it weirdly enough does make me like Garfield even more. I like that he's become more cosmic horror.

But I thought it was really cute that my husband knows that I don't live on Reddit the way a lot of other people do. So he just thought that I wasn't aware of the whole horror verse. So he thought he was bringing it to me. So I didn't want to burst his bubble. Speaking of living on Reddit, like I think another thing that Garfield

without Garfield brings up is a completely different time in the internet. A time in which I was at a day job like killing a lot of time on the internet and in which like you didn't necessarily have just these like tent pole sites to go to and instead you would go to a site like Garfield without Garfield or another huge one was overheard in New York.

Yes. And it would serve one specific purpose. Yes. And it would serve one specific. It just gave you Garfield without Garfield. It just gave you stuff people over here. And I thought it was like the most entertaining, brilliant thing. And of course, now that is so escalated and changed.

Oh my God. Like I just looked to see if it was, if they updated it is the L running.com. Remember when that was a big. to see if the L train was running in New York. You can go to is the L running.com. But apparently right now, MTA says delays. So is the L running.com. Damn you auto correct was a great one.

Yeah. My brother and I talk about that all the time because he was a big Google reader guy. He loved his different blogs and everybody had their website. So it was like back then, you know, oh, I love this person's. I love Glenn Greenwald's blog. Obviously that has changed. And now it's all, now it's all, you know, amalgamated into these different, like, mono. I mean, I guess it's nice because it's the only, it's the last bastion of the monoculture is like Reddit, right?

Like, that's one place where a lot of people are all going to, to get their, you know, memes. But a million different places within it, right? Like, I, yeah, I really miss the, like, did you, I mean, even when, when I, you know, used to write on the internet, there was places to write for. And now there's just no places to write for anymore, you know? Right, right. Yeah, that is, that has, I think about that a lot. And I love, I love many of the current forms of the internet, but I do miss when we would just type in a website, you know.

Well, this is a great lead to, you know, the nostalgia of the past. MJ, I took your recommendation and have been enjoying season four of unsolved mysteries. Oh, my God. I feel embarrassed that I recommended unsolved mysteries to you guys because it is gruesome. It is, but it's great. And I don't like the gruesome. Are you just getting the Jack the Ripper one? Oh, no, I skipped that one.

I skip the Ripper just because, like, I know quite a bit about Jack the Ripper. Shoutouts to the comic book from hell by Alan Moore. Also, you are talking about the new season of Unsolved Mysteries. For those of you that don't know, it's a brand new season. Season 4 on Netflix. Yeah, I'm not watching To Be right now. I'm watching Netflix new seasons, right? Yeah, I'm not watching the Roku channel right now.

I'm talking Netflix and their new Unsolved Mystery season. So, yeah, I jump straight to, the body in the basement. And can I just spooky? Can I just hear right now? I traveled back in time a little bit because you know what I have to recommend for Unsolved Mysteries is the fact that I was also at the time deciding to jump back in and finish the Starry Night Lego set that I have. It is a full Lego depiction of Starry Night. And it is really interesting. It's like it's like a lot more complicated. It's not a lot more, but I'm kind of, I have to use a special light that I hang around my neck

because like I'm trying to differentiate between like four to five different shades of blue. Oh my God. Oh my God. That's so cute. What do you have an a hot light? Oh, I am back. Because that was my shit back of the day.

It was like an audiobook or like an unsolved mystery style show and a giant like Puzz 3D or a big puzzle. You know, now I'm an adult that has enough money to afford a fancier Lego set. So now it's Lego. but it is the perfect Lego TV show. So it's like a wine pairing. That's good, because you don't want to focus on the gruesomeness.

What I did was I turned on the Olympics and Unsolved Mysteries. Sure. And then muted the Olympics because I was like, I don't, the one after the body in the basement is called the severed head. The severed head. I had to take a break after the body in the basement. That was intense. I mean, the only thing I will say about Unolved Mysteries is literally the name of the show.

It's very upsetting that there's no fulfilling conclusion. I know. To the whole thing. Well, this is the problem, like, is that old Unsolved Mysteries with Robert Stack, which, you know, and I'm glad that it comes out in the summer because I used to watch Unsolved Mysteries on Lifetime in the summer. Like, it was at 10 a.m. on Lifetime, and I would watch it at 10 a.m. Usually when I was, like, a middle schooler, like, alone in my house. And then I would just be scared for the rest of the day, like, a beautiful sunny day.

And I would, like, go around and close the windows because Unsolved Mysteries scared me so much. Yeah. But, like, the thing about old Unsolved Mysteries scared. was that it was on for so long. And again, monoculture was on prime time for years. And so by the time I was watching it in syndication on Lifetime, almost every episode had an update. So it was satisfying. But this is now season four of Netflix's reboot of it, which at first I was very anti because there's no Robert Stack.

There's no, there's not the, it's just a very different style. It's different. It just feels like another true crime show. But they try to capture some of the good spookiness of it or whatever. But in four seasons now, I don't believe that there has been a single update. And that is very frustrating, you know, and I get it. You can't solve the mystery, but it is like with old out-self mysteries, you felt like maybe you could help solve a mystery. Like, it really felt like that.

And so far, zero like leads, zero updates. They haven't produced any. It was all, you know, they would produce a whole thing. And Robert Stack would be like, after our episode aired, we got a tip and it was so thrilling. Yeah. Right, right, right. but you don't get that with a new one. And so it is very, it leaves you with kind of a hole in your heart afterwards.

A little bit. Yeah, I will say I'm coming into this right off of the worst roommate show or whatever it is. And that's also essentially just unsolved mysteries, but it's solved mysteries at least, where it's like a horrific roommate situation that, you know, but they actually are able to solve it. But I will say, body of the basement, compelling, compelling murder mystery. I mean, it's so bizarre that whole situation. Yeah. On Wizard and the Bruiser, we find all those crazy little moments in geek history

that made the things we love into inescapable cultural behemates. If you love video games, movies, comics, and anime, this is the LPN show for you. But wait, Holden, it's not just educational. Shouldn't we talk about all those crazy boner jokes we make all the time? No, Jake. No, we will not. Fair enough. Last Podcast Network presents Wizard and the Bruiser.

Find it on your favorite podcast app and hit that little subby-dovey button. Ooh, we would love it if you did that. Oh, that would help us out so much. God, wouldn't you love to do that? Don't I sound like the kind of person you want to help? Like, hit the button. Like, just do it. Also interesting that they did a Jack the Ripper one,

which I was kind of surprised like that. I feel like that that is a departure from the usual unsolved mysteries world, right? of doing things where it's like, you can't interview the family, it's not an ongoing thing. It was a weird choice. I think that they were trying to do, because the old one, they would do four mysteries per episode, right?

And so it wasn't such a deep dive. It was usually an hour long, and they would do, I think it was four. Maybe it was less. And then you get more of a mix, too, of like wackier stuff, like alien stuff. Well, there's a long-man episode. There is a mop-man episode.

I'm excited for the mop-man. Yeah. To get a little bit of a break. And obviously Jack the River is like very, you know, I mean, that happened forever ago. So it's a little bit easier to at least separate it out from like, oh my God, my, I could leave town and my wife could end up dead in a basement and no one knows what the fuck happened. Also, shout out to the fact that if you're the boyfriend, husband, wife, whatever of someone and you find them dead in your house. Yay, you get to be a sub, the first thing you get to be is a suspect. You get to hear all of their family members, assume it was you.

Or also sit in a room right after that, after the worst trauma that's ever happened to you and fucking have to like prove you didn't do it. Which has got to just be the most horrific situation. You don't even get to deal with your grief immediately. You have to fucking... Or oftentimes you have to pretend like you didn't do it. And that's even more difficult for them.

Think about that. And be like, oh, I liked her. I don't know what happened. She was running with socks on and I think she slipped and hit her head on the fountain. On the fountain, yes, yes. Honestly, I think that the unsolved mysteries isn't a bit of a pickle because I think that it's nostalgia for something that was old,

but what it was old, it was kind of one of the first primetime entertainment true crime shows. And now the true crime landscape is like ridiculous, you know? Exactly. So it's very hard for it to distinguish itself. Of course, the mystery is unsolved, and that's what distinguishes itself. But there's also cold case files.

There's a million other ones. So I think it's just in a tough spot because really what made Unsolved Mistolved. was Robert Stack. You know, and just what it was at that time. It's hard to recreate, but I do think, I do still enjoy watching it because I can tell that they're trying to capture that, like, spooky you're alone in your house. You have to close all the windows in the middle of the day.

Did you want to kiss Robert Stack? No. Oh, okay. I wanted him to, like, be my grandpa. Okay, so you just wanted to, like, smell the after shave and sit upon puppies lap. Have him, like, teach you out of play chess. his lap at a library and have me teach you how to play jazz and like read me a scary ghost story. Oh, he would have been so good at that.

But he's not a part of these unsolved mysteries, but don't worry, we're still watching them. Yeah, I went back and I was trying to find while I was watching unsolved mysteries. I was like, how many of these? Because I didn't know if any of the current seasons, like the new Netflix ones, had been solved after the fact. And I'm not seeing any articles about it. Zero. Zero. There is no. And like, yes, that's, I mean, you'd sure hope that if they had solved any of them that Netflix would produce an update. Oh, yes. You think that they would leave that and not try to glom onto that and be like, look what we did.

Yeah. Art, we great as a corporation, everybody. Yeah. But it's tricky because I think the update ones were usually about like missing people. And so you're not going to get, you're probably not going to get an update with like a 30 year old murderer. But, yeah, the updates are the best part. If you watch, if you watch, because they are on prime. I found them a few years ago after talking about Unolved Mysteries on this show. The old ones are on Prime. And when you watch them, it's great because the whole last like 15 minutes is just update, update, update. They solved a lot of mystery. Oh, good.

I don't have to go to crackle to see the old ones. Well, I don't know if they're still on Prime, but I know that a few years ago they were. I just assumed I'd have to go to, yeah, some app with an annoying name. Screw you, Philo! Philo is my enemy. Philo wants us to join. We want to watch Chad Hanks. Give me this real life.

We want to watch Chad Hanks and Macy Gray and they won't let us because they want us to get Thilo. I can't believe Filo, dude. I can't believe Filo. And I appreciate someone to look to YouTube. Sometimes they only have the first episode. Well, it's so, you know, and it's just so frustrating because, like, I was, there's a show I really wanted to watch.

I won't name is I don't want to, like, throw it under the bus. But I had to get a certain. Oh, an unnamed. Whoa. All right, fine. It's F-Boy Island, and I'm sorry, Nikki, because she kept saying in the podcast, like, just download the app.

People just don't want to download. It's a free app. And it's like, no, I downloaded the free app. And you know what? It played the same weirdly extra obnoxious commercial over and over again. And it just, there were so many commercial breaks. And for some reason, too, I think they need to have more of an understanding of like, hey, if you play this one commercial that's really jarringly annoying,

over and over again. I am now trying to watch your app while also like muting it every single time of this fucking commercial comes on because I can't out stand hearing it one more time. Like it's just there's no thought towards it's not worth it. There's no thought towards the user experience. Also, it was hilarious how hard it was for me to find the new episodes of F. Boy Island. It was so buried in the app because they were trying to get me to like watch. I didn't know there was more F. Boy Island. Yeah. I didn't know there was more F Boy Island. There's so much more. And it's so frustrating is you have to get the CW app and it fucking sucks. It's a shitty app. Oh, no. It's like, oh, you just gave me. I'm triggered. You said

CW app and I just felt Riverdale surged through my body and how angry we would get every week because the CW app sucks. Dude, it sucks. So much ass. And like, I'm willing to put up with it to watch like, yeah, old shit. Like I was watching, you know, old ass episodes of cops or whatever, guilty pleasure, don't judge me. On the Roku app. And I'm like, well, whatever, this is such a weird ancient, of course, this is on a janky app, whatever. But of course, of course, these weird VH1 shows that I've tried to watch on Monday watch along, like Rock of Love or whatever, is on the Pluto app, you know? But even that is better than the CW.

And it's just so frustrating. And, you know, and hey, while we're bitching about, you know, app stuff, Amazon, man, come on, bro. I knew it was coming, but we've got the ads. And you know what? I wouldn't have so much of a fucking problem with your goddamn ad breaks. if it were for the fact that you're doing the same old shit that was happening before

that annoys everyone. Stop playing the fucking commercial three times louder in the fucking show. It's so fucking annoying. I don't care that you saw some study somewhere that says that more people hear the ad. It's because you leave the room. It's because you leave the room.

So they pop up the volume so you can hear. I don't leave the room. I'm trying to wake my fucking daughter up. And I have to keep adjusting the volume. It's so obnoxious. I hate it. It's so obvious and annoying. I remember being,

I remember us talking about and Holden using the phrase like the subscription bubble back when we were still recording in the Greenpoint studio. So it would have been 2019 or so. And you were like, surely this subscription bubble has to burst. Like it's. Sure. And now it's. But then everyone was at home for a year and a half. And they're like, what if it never burst?

And now, of course, it's bursting. But is it? For sure. Because it feels, because now it just feels like, right. I mean, it's. Well, they're adding ads. they're turning into TV. It's just becoming TV again.

Yeah, they're just gobbling up. The bigger ones are gobbling up. Right, right, right. It's just becoming cable again. It'll be another monopoly. We're paying like the same amount of money if you want to have the major, all the major streamers. You're paying the same amount of money. You know, and again, actually, I love, just real quick, I love the commercial breaks, to be honest with you, because I'm addicted to my phone.

So I don't mind the commercial breaks. Like, I like it. I like, oh, good. Now I don't have to zone out to the show and, like, I'll pay it to the show because I'll use the commercial breaks to scroll on Twitter for no reason. Then you text. Then you can shop and do whatever you want. I actually don't mind that much.

Just stop turning the fucking commercials up three times louder. It's so annoying. It's very, very annoying. This has been the Andy Rooney segment of Talking TV. Yes. Yes. Thanks. Sorry.

I had to bring it up. It's real. I started yelling about Filo and I'm about to start yelling about what M.J did to me. And that is forbidden love. Are you still watching this damn show? I'm fucking. I'm fucking obsessed. I'm so mad.

MJ brought it up like TLC. Three weeks ago. It's a TLC show. And I was like, I'm going to check it out. And then, of course, they swallowed the three or four episodes that were out.

And they're like, damn it. They have different religions. They've got different religions. That's very 90 day adjacent. Very 90 day adjacent. Yes. It's very 90 day adjacent.

But here's the thing. You're like, ah, it's old hat. They did a good job with the couples because I, when I first started, I was like, all right, oh, wow, Institute of Religions. Let's see how difficult this is. But they did a really good job of casting very interesting couples.

This is the thing about TLC, they know how to cast. They know. And it's because I'm fairly sure it's because of the lack of background checks and like doing what they adequately should probably do to make sure that they're probably doing harm. but I will say, man, Lindsay and Elmer, Elmer's the Amish guy. The Amish guy. Man. The Amish guy who can't stop, he can't stop watching porn on his phone, holding.

He can't stop jerking off. The Amish guy? The Amish guy. He can not. How does that track? Is he allowed? Is he a loud? He's never had electricity.

So he has a phone for the first time. And he's like, oh, everything. Is he on from Springer? What's going on? No, he left. He was her handyman. It's a very sexy story. He was fixing.

her roof. Okay. Oh. And they fell in love. Well, it's not that sexy. He's fucking beaten off in the corner while she just sit there. Well, it starts off sexy. It starts off sexy.

It starts off sexy. Falling in love with your Amish roofer, I think, is very sexy. But now he can't stop jerking it to a handheld porn. And of course he can't. He's 23. Yeah. You know, and she's 34. And he's never had phone before.

And now, like, well, I guess is it giving it away? I'm going to say it anyway. She's knocked up. And I'm just like, and she's just over here being like, aren't my breasts big enough for you? Aren't my breasts big enough for you? And I'm scared. She's handling it in a real weird way.

It is just, oh. She's jealous of him watching porn. And it's like, that's so weird because you're not Amish. Don't you know that it's okay for your partner to watch porn? Meanwhile, I think he's obsessed with it. He's obsessed with it. Really what the issue is is that he'll be gone for hours and she'll track his phone. And it's because he's hiding from her in the car.

jerking off other places. It's like God to such an extent. But it's like it's also funny because I love watching Lori. Lori and Eli, she's Catholic. He's Orthodox Jewish. And she was like a crazy party bitch.

And she's like, yes, I guess I'm converting. Don't really want to. But it's like, girl, you're not just becoming like you're not just converting religions. You're converting to becoming an Orthodox Jewish person. And that is very different than just identifying or having your religion be Jewish. It's a very different life.

And like, it's just crazy because she cuts me in like, yeah, you know, I'm just kind of like la la la la to the songs that don't really care. It's like, this is, what are you talking about? I know. I looked into converting when I was pregnant. Yeah. Because we talked about it with Gideon's family. And it was, you know, kind of important to his mom. And so I like looked into it.

And I didn't, because I didn't have time to do it in the course of my pregnancy. Like, I didn't have time to do it. It would have taken more than nine months to convert. It's difficult. And that is, was not to become orthodox. That was just like, you know, the entry level. And so the fact that she's just like, yeah, I love him. So I'll convert.

But then she keeps like kind of rolling her eyes about it. And I'm not judging anybody for converting. But she's like. Why do it then? Yeah. She's like rolling her eyes about it. she's like, oh, this, you know, my rabbi, he sew up my ass about it. And it's like, yeah, this is a lifestyle.

This is a life. Yeah, you are changing your whole life. Or the couple that Lenza is Muslim and Chris is from a Pentecostal preacher family. Yeah. And there's literally, she's in the house for two minutes and his father's speaking in tongues. And she's just standing there just being like, I'm never going to believe in Jesus Christ. And I'm just like, this is. It doesn't say, like, I'm, I, it's because they got such drastic.

It's not just like, oh, I'm Jewish. Yeah, no. And I'd like her to convert. Like, it's no, it's all these, like, it's such as, you know, religion is a spectrum. And these are people from the very absolute opposite sides. And I feel so stupid because it's a TLC show, but it is really, it's, it's very interesting. It's so interesting. The heart wants what the heart wants.

And of course, especially if you're newly, you know, in love and you're like, well, I don't want to not be with you. I'll do whatever it takes. And then you're like, wait, it takes this. Like, what do I have to do? Yeah. No, I think I'm glad that you like it because that's my story. I also appreciate though, too. Like, for instance, Chris who's from like his father's a Pentecostal preacher.

He also like, like, what I like is they're also shedding light on religions as well. And it's not just like, this crazy. fuck it's like no he's like we're not we don't have like the snakes we're not like that's not what we do and it's also talking about religion even though i know it's a tlc show so it's not a video essay i'm not like going there for information i just think at least you know it's bad it's it's lc you know it's bad but i'm gonna keep watching it's bad but it is i think because it's people in their own words it doesn't feel um it doesn't feel as like it doesn't feel obviously all tlc shows are exploitative right but there's just

something about it that because it's people in their own words talking about their own religion, I don't feel uncomfortable about it. And it is uncomfortable to watch like their families talk about the religion, like the like very conservative family who, when she's married to a Muslim and like hearing them talk about like Islam is very uncomfortable. Oh my God. Very uncomfortable. So that, so it's not like there's that discomfort. That couple notice I didn't even bring them up. Yeah. Yeah. Man. That that, but. But he's not. I think it's really, I think it is really fun and interesting to see, you know, hot people on TV who are our peers in age talk about their religion that I have no knowledge of. You know, like I think that part is kind of fun and interesting.

But ultimately, it's a TLC show. It's not going to repair the world, you know. No, it certainly is not. No, definitely is not. I'm glad you're watching it. Are you, what are you guys watching? Because I can keep talking about reality television because I watched a lot of reality. television over the weekend?

I mean, I will say I'm, I am enjoying the, still the Fallout TV show that's been kind of a go-to. And I finished out worst roommate ever just, I'm kind of cleaning up a little bit in other words, you know what I mean? I will say, LP and TV's own Eric did recommend to me in lieu of, or because of our, our bass is the last podcast guys going to Australia. a movie called Not Quite Hollywood. And it is about the, what do they call it,

Australia'sploitation of the 80s? Or essentially how like Australia became this weird, like, filmic force. And it's- Osploitation. Osploitation, thank you. That's what it is. It's the wonderful,

untold story of Osploitation films. It's free on Prime, so it made it very easy for me to check out. I was very surprised it was because it's pretty obscure. A lot of boobs, because they do have a lot of, like, sexy stuff. in there. But, you know, it also gets into like all the car stuff, the Mad Max, you know, all that

kind of stuff. And just how like Australia weirdly took over a little bit of culture during that time period. Wow. Hell yeah. Shoutouts to that movie. Yeah. So I've kind of all over the place. And we're also, you know, I want to give a better drag race all stars update once we're like fully caught up is I feel like anybody who would be interested is like, bro, you're like a few episodes behind. So I'll give more of an update on that. But that's the other show. We've been. been watching. This is the problem. And then the other show, we're finally about cut up on the bear. So these are all, like, trying to catch up because of lost time, because Lexi's been gone. But I'm enjoying the shit out of all of it. I do love, though, with the bear that, like, we've had such

a stressful day. And I'm like, oh, it's just a quick little 30-minute episode. And then you put it on. I know. No, it's that episode. It's the episode where, like, they just give you a stress dream in a kitchen for 30 minutes. Like, I think it's like the fourth episode or something like that. That is my exact relationship with the bear right now. I think we have one episode left in Every time Gideon and I sit down, yeah, he's working late. I'm getting the kids to bed. We're both like fried and we're like, what do you want to watch? You know, like neither of us wants to watch it.

I need a buffer for after just in case. But sometimes it's like not like that. You just never know what you're going to get with that. It's what I like about modern prestige TV. You never know if it's going to be an hour and a half long episode or a 30 minute long episode in the same run of the same season of a show. And you never know. You think it's like, oh, this is a nice easy 30 minute little,

let's just enjoy this. And then it's like, oh, it's 30 minutes because it's literally nonstop. Anxiety-induced. Oh, yeah. Yeah, quick cuts, just like. But I also, Jackie, I'm watching the DeCameron, and I love it. Do you? Yes.

Yes. I really love it. So that's, I got Gideon on the DeCamaran. He wants to watch. Oh, no, I'm not going to be able to remember. Oh, no. And again, that is the Black Plague comedy, right? Black Plague comedy.

Oh, what did he show me? He showed me an ad for something on Apple TV that's like, is it. Neil Gaiman. It's something that's like whimsical. What is there? Is there a Neil Gaiman show on Apple TV? I'm going to figure this out. So anyway, he showed me something. He was like, how about this whimsical thing that you might like? And I was like, how about this show about the bubonic plague? And DeCamaran won. But I'm going to figure out, maybe it's not Neil Gaiman. It's some Apple TV fantasy thing that he wanted to show me. Is it sunny? the, is it the, oh God, what's her name?

I'm forgetting her name from Parks and Rec, Anne, from Parks and Rec. Tal. Talent. Rashida Jones. It's not that. It's not Sunny because I know a lot of people have been talking about Sunny over on Apple TV. No, it's, this is not the time of her. I was just trying to come up with a fun name. No, I'll figure it out. I'm sure that some people are screaming. Whoever's on Apple TV is, is screaming. Apple TV is one of the ones that I, uh, I, I, uh, I, I, forget what show ended. And I was like, I'm ending Apple TV. And when it has enough to get me back,

I will put Apple TV back on my television. And I will continue. And I'll just watch a bunch of it. And then I'll get rid of it. Time bandits. That's what it is. Time bandits. Ah, yes, based on the series. Yes. And it has Lisa Kudrow in it. And it does look really, really good. And Tyco, I T. And Tyco, IT. Yes, yes, yes. So I think that's going to be next for us. And then in my kids, 90s movie corner. Of course, they did not want to move on from the Honey I Shrunk the Kids universe when they found out that there was more. So we have now done, Honey, I blew up the kid and Honey, we shrunk ourselves. Can't say that they hold up quite as well as the first one. Oh, do they not? But I'm really glad that my kids love 90s movies. I continue to enjoy it a lot.

And I think I'm going to put three men and a baby on our list because I'll like that. Hell yeah. That's a great idea. Get some dancing in your life. And I forgot to give the caveat also to parents out there that if you're watching 90s movies with the kids, it is going, there are going to be things that come up that you don't necessarily want to talk about. There will be sexist jokes. There will be like 90s things that happen. And you're going to have, there's going to be like weird innuendo that you don't feel like explaining.

So there's a lot more pausing and chatting during the 90s movies. I don't let them watch them like, like, I don't like to put on a 90s movie and walk away. Gotcha. That's a one that we're sitting together. You know, I have categories of movies. They watch without me. which are the kids movies, and then the 90s movies we watched together because you never know what conversation is going to come up. I feel like it always makes me think of when you showed them Charlie Brown Christmas and you're like, oh, this is just going to be such an easy.

And then they're like, let's talk about religion. You're like, all right. Just try to watch Charlie Brown Christmas. The light in Charlie Brown Christmas where I think it's Lucy who says, wow, you sure are stupid Charlie Brown. It's just like incredibly traumatizing to watch for a child. Yes. It's like dot how they speak to each other, which is good. Although I imagine you still see your kids speak poorly to each other, right?

They don't name call. I'm very lucky. Hell yeah. There's a lot of, you know, they certainly kids still know how to hurt each other, but there's not a lot of name calling. So when they see like 90s, you know, the 90s, everyone is calling each other dipshit all the stuff all the time. Yeah, yeah.

And lots of name calling. And even on full house, they're always calling each other bird brain. And my kids are like, what is this? I'm like, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Just keep on watching Danny Tanner. And I guess keep on watching 90-day fiancé UK. U.K., which I did get completely caught up on.

And a friend of mine was like, is 90-day fiancé UK worth it? Hear me out. Yes. The answer is yes. And it is because, and I'm not. I'm just saying this as a stereotype, and at least I can say it as a stereotype from this specific cast. It is interesting watching emotional communication try to happen

between people that stereotypically are not the most openly communicative people. And it is fun to watch them try to communicate because it is, again, you know I've got issues sometimes. 90-day fiance where I feel like it's making fun of the people that are from other countries. And I hate that shit. But in the UK, things are so different because they have so much more of an awareness and so much more ease of traveling. That makes sense.

Their world is so much more open than how closed off America is, I feel like, sometimes, especially in thought. So I feel like it's not as yucky in that respect. That makes sense. But I am obsessed with it. And I accidentally watched like 10 hours of 90-day fiancé UK on Saturday because it was not feeling good. And I was like, I just need the dumb show. And then I watched the dumb show.

And my brain fell apart. I love you chicken. And that goes out to anybody that watches 90-day fiancé UK because that couple has got some problems. I won't get into all the problems. I just needed to have a little platform here to let everyone know that 90-day fiancé UK is worth the watch. I love that. I mean, British people themselves talk all the time about how British people can't talk about their feelings. And so I don't think you're saying anything controversial.

And it is very, that is why it is fun to watch British people on reality shows because they're not really capable of engaging deeply with unpleasant feelings. Not that Americans are great at it either. No, no, no, they're not. But here's just one couple, Ali and Sam. And Sam is like such a bitch to this dude. And he's just like, this is going to be the day, guys. This is going to be it. Oh, she's going to be happy with me.

Oh, I'm going to set up this date. Oh, she's going to love it. Oh, I've thought of everything. The second she shows up, she's like, what is this shit? This is shit. What is it? It's like, oh, shit. And he goes like, you watch this man crumble again and again.

And again, and I love to watch it. Yeah, yeah. Johan and Charlotte are really like that. Or Johann and Charlotte are just like a fucked up couple. But there's also John and Sprite. And this is another couple where John just like he is like a like a kind of like barely plus size person that is with Sprite who is a small like person that lives in a smaller body. And all Sprite does is give him shit about how fat he is. About how fat he is, about how fat he is.

And then I'm like, man, this is horrible for this man. But then you hear this dude like, man, well, he slings it right back. So I guess it's like, it's just toxic. Yeah. It's all really toxic. And Jose and Louise, for some reason, had a child there from previous seasons. I have watched all the seasons of this show. You know, I watch a lot more 90-day fiancé and like that and like married at first sight than I usually talk about because I,

I think it's sad. And I think it's sad that I have it all in the background, but I love it, you know? Yeah. That's not sad. And if it makes me too sad, I stop watching it. Yeah, I, and I'm still slowly making my way through the, just the 90-day, the other way,

um, season that's on Max that's still coming out. Same. Uh, but man, just I couldn't imagine being the type of person that, uh, who is it? Which one's the, the one with neuro spicy one? Statler or Demsie? Stattler. I could not imagine being a person like Sattler and saying, yeah, I know what a good idea would be to get rid of everything in my life and take a fucking van all over Europe. Oh, they're so nervous. A person who needs stability to function. I know. Who needs consistency and stability. It is the crazy. I just, it just reminds me of how ridiculous decision making was when you were young. You're just like, you know, and then Dibsey's just like, I need adventure. I need to.

to have, I gotta live life to it's full. So I'm like, I give it 10 years before you're like, you know, it'd be nice, the house. And just to know where everything is. 10 years, I get, I say give it 10 months. Yeah. Remember, I don't know if you watched the previous season, but when Sattler first showed up to where Dempsey was living,

I think it was like an outhouse or like there wasn't like a proper toilet. And like Sattler was like, I don't know how I'm going to go to the bathroom. Like, I need specific thing. I give Statler two weeks. Yeah. I give Jesse a little more time. I don't know. Like, I'm like, how are they going to do this?

I know. This is the first he was like, well, I can work remotely so I can go wherever. I was like, great. And then it's like, so we're going to just literally live out in a, you know, an RV. And I'm like, no. How are you going to secure an ability to work wherever you go? Like, how are you going to consistently get Wi-Fi? I mean, whatever.

Maybe they figured out, I don't know, what the modern situation is with that. but it just seems very challenging to say the absolute least. Yeah. Wild, wild. And then to be like, at first I was excited, but now it's like a lot more complicated that I thought it would be like, yeah. Yeah, of course it is. This is crazy.

People like train for this. People like slowly, they get an RV and they take maybe a day trip and a weekend trip and then slowly work their way up to. I bet we could live in this. You know what I mean? I swear. I swear, it's going to be like, what's that movie about the guy who goes to Alaska? It's going to be like that.

You know what I mean? In the cold or whatever? In the wild? Into the wild? Yeah. Or into the wild? Or it's just being like, I could live in Alaska by myself. That'll be easy.

Or the North Pole or wherever the fuck it was. Yeah, but that's why you put on an episode of the show alone. Whenever you feel that way, put on an episode of the show alone and be like, yeah, you just got to go out there. You got to set up the camp. you gotta get the fish you gotta I don't understand what these people aren't just doing what they're supposed to be doing it's like it's very difficult to do yeah I'm not a camper anymore like there was maybe a time in my life where I was more so one I would like to try glamping at some point I would

go out with like a rich professional camper person who like has it all down and see what that's like maybe I would enjoy that but I am specifically a give me even like a crappy cabin but give me a happen. Yeah, no, I need walls. Even if it's like a very low-fi, no, you know, internet and like, you got to, the bathroom's weird. I don't know, whatever. You got to pour water into the, I don't know what's going on, but, you know, whatever. I'll take that any day over laying on the ground, you know, doing the whole thing. And like the RV life, I could see being fun, you know, on a certain level. Like, I just wouldn't want to just like, act. like I could just do it full time

right away. It is like expecting your partner to convert to Orthodox Judaism to be like you are neurodivergent and you really like need routines to function and I'm asking you to move into an RV with me and camp around Europe. Like that is a big ask.

I'm not saying that love can't transcend it, but it is one that you're gonna want to really think through. It's so foolish. Yes. But anyways. Absolutely ridiculous. And now, last but not least, of course, I went to go see M. Knight Shyamalan's track over the weekend.

See, I sent a text. There was a tweet I read that I immediately had to send to Jackie and MJ. And it was trap movies far and away, the dumbest movie I've ever seen. At no point does any character behave with logic or reason. The theater openly laughed at it from start to finish. Couldn't have loved it more five out of five stars. Jackie, was that a similar experience for you? I gotta say, seeing this movie in a full movie theater was worth it.

The fact that like when M. Knight-Sharmelon's name came up at the very beginning of the movie, the whole audience cheered. I was like, oh, it's going to be one of those movies. And we laughed. And oh, man, like everybody was laughing. It's not like we ruined anyone's experience. And if we did, I don't know, maybe they left the fucking theater. Maybe reassess your taste. Maybe reassess your taste.

Yeah. I came to have a very serious at night time, a lot of experience in 2024. Oh, my God. For those of you that are unaware that don't go to the movies as often as I do and have not seen this trailer a hundred thousand times this movie that is part of Josh Hartnett's coming back. And it is, he's about, and I'm not giving anything away. He's a serial killer.

He is a father. He has brought his daughter to a show that is definitely trying to be eras, down to the fact that they even use the built out of the house that she uses in eras. And it is like taking his daughter to a Taylor Swift concert. Also, the person that plays the pop star is played by Salika, who is M. Knight Shyamalan's real daughter. She did write, produce. and perform all of the music throughout the movie. Uh-huh.

And here's what I will say. Fine generic pop music. It was fine. Okay. The performance that we receive from this young... I don't... Okay. You know, I just like...

I know you want to support your kids, right? And you want to be like, you shoot for the moon, you land among the stars. I don't know why he asked his daughter, who I got to say, man, gorgeous, gorgeous. But, uh, wow. Not a dynamic performer, I would say. Certainly not, like, your eyes are never drawn to her when she's on the stage. And I will say she plays a much bigger part than you'd think.

and we laughed and we laughed. She's so bad. And I'm going to throw it out there. Josh Hartnett was very fun to watch. And I, I dare say, he's got to know that this is a black comedy. Okay. Because I think that, like, he has to. Like, Josh Hartnett's performance is genuinely funny.

He is doing such a big, and you can tell that it's choices, that, like, he's doing such an over-the-top job that I had a blast. Don't get me wrong. I'm not going to go see it again. I would recommend go see it with a bunch of your friends or wait

till it's free and invite a bunch of your friends over and watch it that way because that is the way to enjoy this movie. And it, you know, I will also say that I feel like old was one that we

made fun of the most, I think what drives me really crazy is the amount of people and the amount of articles I've seen that are like, you just don't understand M-night Shaman. This is stylized. Don't you see? It's stylized. The writing, they kept saying specifically, the writing. It's stylized. If the style is bad writing, then yes, it is stylized. It's like saying that woman's world is satire. Yes. You know, like you just, you just, style-lized can only do so much having. lifting here. Exactly. That's a great. Yes. All right. Yes. And so, and just

in case you were wondering, yes, both Shaman's daughter and Sharmalon are referring to this as their purple rain. So just put that as a little feather in your cap. Take that along with your day, especially

if you decide to go see it and be like, wow, just like Purple Rain. Love it. Just like it. Really makes me want I'll see it. Thank you guys so much for hanging out with our talking TV. Oh, baby. I'm feeling great. And, again, MJ, a little mad at you that you introduced forbidden love into my life because I'm mad that I like it so much. You're welcome. Hell yeah. You're welcome. You're welcome. Thank you guys. And we will be back next week. Let's sing the song.

We're talking TV with MJ Holden and Jackie talking TV. And you know it's going to get a wacky. Because everybody knows And everyone knows And everybody knows We're watching shows We're watching shows We talk to TV With MJ Holden and Jackie

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