Page 7 - The Greatest Love Story Never Told WATCHALONG

Episode Date: September 5, 2024

It's summer break at LPN, so what better time to watch a marriage burn out by watching The Greatest Love Story Never Told! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

We've made it. We did it. We've made it to the ends of love. Or to the beginning. I think it really depends. It depends on how you feel about heartbreak. Yes. We are many months.

Is it late or were we just putting off to watch? If the greatest love story never told was in fact told, the answer is yes. And is it in fact currently falling apart? Presently, the answer is yes. I just, you know what? I just realized I've cursed my self. I'm not wearing my wedding ring at the time of this recording. Divorso?

Is this a divorce so situation? Do we have to send you to Brentwood? Do you need a Brentel and Brentwood? Well, I wrote a movie about Lexingtonize love story. It's called Arf Arf Meow Meow. It's a bitch's world and I'm living in it, not my wife. Yeah. Colet dot dot dot, yeah. Guilty Pleasure Jalo's version.

Question mark. In case everybody's curious, we are recording this about a month in your past. So for you, you know how things are shaking out with J-Lo and Ben. We are right in the thick of it. And by the thick of it, that also means they are definitely almost 110% getting a divorce. But they haven't said anything about it. They're doing a lot of leaving the house without their wedding rings on. They're doing a lot of like doing things separately.

and oh my God, they sold the house and now what do we do? Yeah, he's like removing lighting fixtures from Jalo's house, which is strange. He's removing on his own when she goes. So that's where we are. You guys are in the future. You know how the greatest love story never told ends. We don't know. And we're about to find out at least how it started slash how it was in the middle.

And we all have a guess for how it ends, which is with a lot of sadness and breakups. I would say I think it's going to end with like a really big. like pumpkin spice donkeys deal for Ben Affleck because what helps your heartache more than a pumpkin spice donkeys? I think that this is all leading up to one big. If only, if only, Jalo had not attempted to capitalize her marriage, her love, the story that maybe I just realized it's a story that never should have been told because once you tell the story, you curse the love. Yeah, you're let the genie out of the bottle, and the genie is killing you. And you got to rub it the right way, baby, you did it again.

Oops. It's incredible. Oops, she did do it again. She fucked up her relationship with Ben Affleck again. And I would quote a J-Lo song from that era, but I literally cannot ever remember the name or lyrics of any J-Lo song. At least Jenny from the Block, that's my favorite to remember because she's so far from Jenny from the Block. She's so not that song, which is why it's.

She's Ellen from the mansion. She's Ellen in the prison of road baking at all. Totally. Totally. I can't wait to watch. We are going to. This is a compendium of bad choices that she chose to ruin her own marriage. And we're going to watch it with you right now.

Let's do it. He begs her in this movie to not do what she's doing. We're going to know a lot more than we know. I think this is really a research journey. us. We got to do it, guys. I hope that everybody, yeah, everybody's going to come along for this ride with us. It is on Prime. Yeah, it's called the Great, by the way. It's free. You don't have to write it. It's kind of exhausting to even just say the name of it. So give me a second to like catch my breath. Yeah, get a sip of water. It is called the greatest love story never told. And it is on

Amazon Prime. I'm so tired. I don't even know if I get through it out. Listen, you'll feel like a real prick looking for it. You know, you're, you're going to just feel embarrassed. You're going to be looking around seeing as anybody looking at me, but it's worth it. We're right there with you. We're with you. We are with you and we're going to do this together.

It is an hour and 26 minutes of... Let's do this. All right. So as is Jackie's want, we're going to count down from three. It's going to go three, two, one, start. And on that stuff, just right on that tip of the S,

you're going to hit play. The tip of the S for it. If you're trying to watch along from him, we'll also probably make it entertaining enough or you don't have to watch it. But if you are trying to watch along with us. Three, two, one start.

We're going to do it right now. Everybody get prepared, get your remotes or speak to Siri. Also, don't forget that the ads will play up top and they are annoying. So we've got to watch the ads. We've already watched the ads. We've already watched the ads. They sucked. Yeah, yeah.

And now we're here. Hello, Ed Larson and Amber Nelson from the brighter side here to check in with you. See how you're doing. Is your day more disappointing than a gas station sandwich? Are you trying to put one foot in front of the other in a glue factory? Did you try to throw your air friar in the bathtub, but nothing happened because you were too lazy to plug it in first? Then the brighter side podcast is for you! Oh yeah!

Each week we take nasty, dooky, stupid, dumb. Stinky, no good, doo-do factory. Kaka-like topics and try to find the brighter side. Hey, Amber, what's the brighter side of waking up chain to a bed in Russia? Um, at least they have free healthcare. That's right. So start your weekend off right every Friday with the brighter side on the last podcast network. You beautiful babies.

All right. You ready? I'm ready. Three, two, one. Start. Stressful every time. Stressful every single time. Every time.

All right. We've got a movie. We've got a lion. It's art for art sake. Oh, no. It says ours. Gosh, you are artists. All right, great.

Art for art's sake. Let me know what you're seeing. Artist equity. Great. Wedding dress. All right. Here we go. Wow.

Oh, God. It's so sad already. And we begin where all love begins with a beautiful wedding. Where people rip each other apart. Four weddings. Could you imagine going through the process? I guess if you're extremely rich, it's probably fun. Yeah, you're just planning parties.

And someone else is doing all the labor. Someone else is freaking out. Yeah, right. Do you imagine being J-Lo's wedding planner? She must have different ones. This is the problem with J-Lo, though, is I kind of also love listening to her talk. Like, she is an incredibly charismatic person, for sure. Of course.

And yet, very boring. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I think I'm way more intrigued by her as it. person than a performer. Right. You know what I mean? Also, egg on my face. This is, of course, the wedding scene

in the filmic experience. The filmic experience, please. That we watched together during a Jack and with the Holies. Yes. And it was disappointing. This is me now. That's when I was even finding this documentary,

I was like, am I looking for this, this is me now, or am I looking for the greatest love story I never told? I can't believe she did a simultaneous release. This is me. remember? No. Oh, I remember. Oh, I remember. Oh, I remember. Oh, I miss those slouchy hats. Yeah. I was a bitch for a slouchy hat. Oh, man, she is so hot. I'm going to enjoy this movie. I can already tell. Looking at her. Yeah, it's the problem. You might fall in love with Jailo. You know, I was listening to Nikki Glazer podcast. She was talking about how this made her like Jailo.

Really? So, yeah. She's just so hot and charismatic. Even without makeup, I like her even better. Even without makeup on. She's so hot. It's the microneedling. That's what they tell me.

You got to get micro-dic. I'm so scared. All these face things, they're all very painful, apparently. Do you ever wonder that it's just some, like a group of men in a dark room just meeting up every few months to figure out how to torture all the women of the country? Do you think that that is? What do you mean? And spend thousands of dollars to do it? And spend thousands of dollars in the process.

They're like, make them rub goat's blood on their asshole. And that tell them it'll make their ears shinier. I was just read about salmon semen. Apparently that's real good for you. Kim Kardashian just did a salmon semen rub. I saw that too. These are, it's humiliation rituals. This is classic Illuminati tactics, guys.

Oh, please, Roge is talking. I just, I'm sorry. I'm sure the name Rojie is, is, is, known other places. I just love it. That's like, yeah, my name is Roger, but I changed it to Rogeet because I think it's better. If I was making up a douchey guy. It would be Rogeet.

Yeah, in a movie like this. What I should have done is my homework and listened to the original album about the first 20 years of her life. But it is very much in the same line of like, you know, when a person writes a memoir way too early in their life, you're like, all right, come on. Yeah. I mean...

Oh, this is the scene. She is Jailo, though. She's had a very interesting life. Till 2024. Yeah. Oh, girl. This is so sad. I'm like, I've been having a viscerally empathetic experience.

I know. Or just, but also, no, but I get mad too because I'm like, again, I just don't think Ben wanted ink and fangs to read his love letters. Yes. No, it was... It was a mistake. the last two songwriters' names were individually ink and fangs. I'm into that.

Roche. A lot of bucket hats. Roche is such a ridiculous thing. Oh, here's Ben. First appearance by Ben. He's slurrin. The first interview is him lamenting the fact that she showed his private letters to a bunch of producers. His first interview.

I can't believe you wouldn't ask permission before you did that. they're just she's i would leave someone just for that or at least i would get into marriage counseling if my partner did that i would immediately jump into counseling like there's just no it just that's such a trust about like breaking value i hate to be diagnosing the relationship immediately but like that's such a boundary breaking like i would that would already be just a massive intrusion about like yeah but then you look at her ass and those sweatpants and it's like How does she make the sweatpants look like that? But she's mean to the service workers.

So I just, it negates the butt. Oh, no, I don't like lust. Look at her face. I'm in love. This is going exactly unexpected. It's unexpected. I can't do.

See, guys. I'm not hate watching it. For the reason, her spell doesn't work on me. I don't get it. I just, she's sure. She's fine. This is converted from a hate watch to a love watch very rapidly.

Oh, no. Within minutes. MJ, no. Look at her. This is a montage of all her old music. videos they're great. How do you let a face and a... You see the gum gutters once. I just need

the gum gutters watch. She's great. She's a talented musician with a lifelong legacy. Poor Ben. That's all I have to say to you, MJ. Poor Bin. I like this. I feel like I'm in the middle. I'm like in this. I don't know which way my read is going to bend in the wind.

Yeah, I'm moving the Zoom windows around for people, if we do put this on Patreon, uh, watching it visually. You're in the middle now, Jackie. Thank you. M.J's at the bottom, and I'm at the top. I started at the bottom, and I will stay here. I stayed at the bottom.

Yeah, I didn't move you at all. You were just at the bottom. Yeah, you know why that's never been done before, J-Lo? It's because it's not a good idea. She was like, yeah, see, I've never been done before because it's like, it's not a music video, but it's not a movie. Yeah, it hasn't been done for a reason. It's nothing.

Yeah, a lot of times it's hard. But that's a hard space to be in because, that's why the innovation space is hard because you're either doing the most clever, newest shit. Groundbreaking. Or there's a big, fat reason why nobody normally does it.

But by the way, plenty of people have done like, what are you talking about? Like, the wall? Have you ever been doing before? I was going to say, I believe that we, while watching it,

discussed how many other people had done projects like this with more success. I don't remember that. I mean, lemonade. I think that she's up there with Jojo Siwa creating queer pop. Creatin it, yeah. How about Beatles' hard days night?

Never played of it. Yep, yeah. Yeah, but point, counterpoint. I think they've done it about a million times, actually, now that I think about it. She's radiant. She's just, she just glows. Oh, man, I'm glad that we watch. Oh, remember this.

I'm glad that we have seen This is Me Now, no, because otherwise we would be losing a lot. of con we've we know what the final product was and it and it was not good see he was working on it he looks cute i want that i was rooting for you guys didn't he just correct her on her age though did you catch that yes but you weren't 28 though um are you not rooting for them no no because he clearly is like calling her and this was years ago when they did love each other This is cute. They're working on the script together, though. Better watch out, Holden.

You better go put that fucking wedding ring on, bro. I know. Aren't you working on a screenplay with Lexi? Don't you feel the ding-dong of the Grim Reaper coming for your love? No, ding-dong. No, ding-dong. I just, my hand was wet, and I was like, oh, I'll just put it in the ring box for now, and then I fell asleep.

I always feel so scandalous when I'm out with Winnie, and I forgot to put my ring on. Oh, yeah, like you're trying to attract. You're fishing. Like I'm trying to like... Your baby baiting? Yeah, baby baiting. That sounds... You know we always look for the wedding ring.

Even someone I knew just waited on a Dom Hall Gleason. And I immediately was like, wedding ring? And she was like, yeah, wedding ring. She's like, but you know I looked. You gotta look. I love how she was like, put a lot of shots of me like in a plain t-shirt with no makeup on so that everybody can see how hot I am all the time. Yeah, with the crop.

Yeah, with like a... Flawless abs. This woman is like, I'm dealing with right now. I've devoted my life to Jennifer Lopez, Jennifer Lopez's moods, and it's been a hard life. Imagine being the two pillars holding up J-Lo

throughout her life, you know? I know. So yeah, they were just talking, if you're not watching, they were just talking about these two. Is that her manager agent? Yeah, it's like their team, her number one team.

And they're like, we're her pillars, we hold her up. If she wobbles, we hold her up. I'm like, what is that? Right now they must be. And if we wobble, she corrects us. And I'm sure she does. I'm sure she does.

Yeah. No, she has. I think one of the reasons she's so compelling is because she can really serve like Chill Girl, but you, but like it's just under the surface. You know the bitch is like right under the surface. But she's like, yeah, okay. But she's also really desperately trying to show Chill Girl in this hate. hate to be a devil's advocate in the middle here.

No, I know. But I do feel maybe it's because all of the cameras are here. Yeah. No, I know. I'm falling for her act, hook line, and sinker. I'm trying to keep you from wobbling, MJ. All right. I got to keep you from wobbling.

She's mean to waiters, bro. I know. This is like you're, I know. I dry up so fast the second someone is mean to a customer service person. I just want to point out, again, the hubris going on here. So they had a deal with like a production company. or whatever. And then they pulled it.

And then he was literally saying the reason why they pulled it was they were like, hey, you're flying too close to the sun. You're going for too much here. And it's going to probably not work. That's why she's got to put 20 million of her own money into it. Yeah. It has to happen. The show must go on.

She's being told right now to scale back. Also, that fucking water bottle. Are you? The pituit. Stanley, I like the butchled Stanley. The bedjoled Stanley Cup, are you kidding me? It's the most bedazzled. It's literally been able to ever seen.

I'm shocked that the straw is not bedazzled because it's like, I hear the lemons every time she drinks. It certainly is the most famous Cardinals sin in Hollywood putting your own money into a project. This is so hard, though, because you do, but also you hear time and time again invest in yourself, invest in yourself. It is really, really. Yeah, that's like go get a massage, you know? Yeah, yeah.

Don't make a $20 million dollar movie based on. your husband's private love letters. That's fair. But they're talking about all her bad business decisions set over montages of her dancing. How am I supposed to stand up against this? I'm just not as, I don't know, I don't get, I'm just not as a lord by her dance. Like, what is going on? It's like a fucking guy with a pocket watch swinging in front of MJ right now. I just don't understand.

I hear the siren song of J-Lo. She's mean to the lady at the private airport. It throws dishes out upon one use, M.J. Well, they're dirty, hold it. What if there's a stain? Like, what if you put something on it that makes you uncomfortable? You know, like maybe there's a potato that looks like Jesus Christ. I'm so sad right now.

You know what? I hate to call M.J. This, so I think I finally have to do it. You're a flip-flopper. Whoa. Classic. MJ flip-flop right now. No, I'm a...

You're at the beach. Revive the images. You're at the beach. What shoes are you putting on? Find an image from John Kerry's 2004 presidential campaign, okay? Because I am a flip-flopper. Whoa. I love J-Lo.

They're burning cash every day. I love this. I love this. I just wish I just looked like this, though, when I was working on something. What if I could look so effortless? You know? Have you thought about becoming like a multi-millionaire? Because like I really hear it helps.

Yeah, her team is very upset. No one wants to work for her. No one wanted to do this. I love that they're while they're playing under pressure in the background, which she had to pay for the right for. I was going to say you know she spent a good portion of the money on under pressure. Why did she pay for under pressure for this? Wait, did she finance the documentary as well? Oh, yeah.

I'm assuming. I mean, she's $20 million into this project. Yeah, because they're dual, their sister movies, aren't they? Because you'd think if you want to save money by putting all this money into this short film, you wouldn't make a doc about it, right? Right. I mean, she wears those cool dresses, though. Oh, my God.

There's Ben. There's Ben. Sad. My problem is I want to be her. I just want to be a nice version of her. I think that's really what it is. I want to have my soul in her body. That's what I want.

Yeah, yeah. I think that's why I do want to kiss her, but I think it's because it's the bisexual's dilemma of do I want to be her or do I want to kiss her? Uh-oh, Gideon. He wants a little bit of J-Lo. Gideon's home just in time for the greatest love story never told. Don't let him watch. Don't let him watch.

You guys will get a divorce. It's a curse. I'm wearing my wedding ring, unlike some of the co-hosts. I've got my wedding ring on. I'm like some of us. Naked hands. I'm not going to let the curse of J-Lo and Ben Affle like into my home. I'm rooting for her, remember?

She can't curse me if I'm rooting for her. Well, how are you going to root? That's like watching a Super Bowl from like three years ago and just decided like knowingly rooting for the losing team. I mean, it's just little pain. I'm rooting for Ben. Honestly, let's be real here. I'm rooting for Ben.

Because. Yeah. I actually, I'm liking Ben more and more. Every time I see him, he's. There's still a large. part of me that wants to kiss Ben Affleck, even though I know he may as well be like a gazpacho, you know?

Like, I know it's just cold fish kiss. Like, I know that that's not really what I want. Kissing a gazpacho. Right? Yeah. I don't need no cold soup ass makeout. Yeah. No, kissing him, oh, God, can you imagine?

I mean, I feel like he probably doesn't move his face at all. Although he probably reeks of old cigarettes, which is something, sadly. I still like the kids because of the cigarettes. You'd think you'd hate it because you quit smoking, but you don't sometimes. I have a friend who has four kids, and she gets pretty overwhelmed sometimes, and she takes, like, breaks out in her alley behind her house,

and she said she always feels like Ben Affleck when she's standing out in the alley. She's like, ugh, ha, just wishing she had a cigarette, yeah. Yeah, wait. Are you trying to say that, so you're trying to say this isn't, autobiographical. This is so convoluted. So it's like, it's not autobiographical.

It's, she's playing a character. It kind of feels, I don't want to bring Tay into this, but it kind of feels like out Taylor was like, oh, I'm playing characters in folklore and evermore, but actually, no, those songs about, like going through a divorce and stuff were, like, real. Like, her thinly, like, although seeing her that picture with her with the glass, like, I just want to be. I know she wouldn't be fun to party with, but what if J-Lo had my spirit? Yeah. Yeah. No, I don't want to,

that's the thing, I don't want to party with her. So, yeah, by the way, there was just a scene. So funny. Taylor just said no, by the way. A bunch of them said no, though.

No, they said not available, very different. It's probably a good thing that didn't go with Lizzo, though. Yes. And that's Hutchins. But they were just talking about, I think the guy who's kind of playing the Mark Antony,

it's Mark Anthony, right? Is her... And I guess they're friends in real life and she was talking to him on the phone about that. But then she was also like, well, it's not really Mark, though. It's like, you know, kind of an amalgamation of different relationships.

Yeah, she's going to be such a bitch in this movie. I'm going to have real, I'm going to have, have, have, really have to eat my house. by the end of this movie. But you're going to be flip-flopping and y'all know what I like and the bitchier she gets the more I want to kiss her. Oh yeah, that'll be fun.

By the end of the movie, Jackie will be at the bottom and I'll be in the middle. This is crazy. So this is like, so there's that whole astrology part where all the cameos are in. Very, I feel like she was, she's what we do with the Shadows fan, right? Because it's very that, the vampire council. Or at least Ben is because she is working on it with him. Right. And this is everyone's saying no.

Yeah, everyone's saying no. Oof. Vanessa Hudgens, why do they ask Vanessa Hudgens? That's just such an odd choice. Like. People are scared. Yeah, because this is vulnerable, Holden. This is scary to be a part of, okay?

Because this is bigger than them. And they don't understand it. It is so embarrassing to watch this like so many months later, knowing what a flop it was. Knowing it all fails. God, this is hard, guys. This is hard. This is hard.

And for once I'm talking about what's in my jogger pants, okay, that I'm comfortably wearing. I love these jogger pants. She just said, I don't think he's very comfortable with me doing this. He wants to support me because I'm an artist. But she's literally being like, he can't stop me from making music. He can't. I can't believe she shared the book without asking. him first. You never want a partner to not support you in your creative devers. I completely

understand. She said he's not comfortable being the muse. It reminds me of when we did the tooth fairy sketch for Murder Fist where like I'm a little boy watching Henry as the tooth fairy get fucked the ass by this like Vietnam vet. And my mom called me up. It was like your aunt found the video. We're very upset. And I'm just like, you don't believe. in my art. This is my art. It's so embarrassing looking back. It's like, no, we really shouldn't have put that out there.

We shouldn't have put that out there. But we really hung a lot of laurels on our art for a while. Because he loves you, girl. He loves you. He just said we're not doing all this bullshit in like one of the friendly parts of the movie. I'm so interested in this. this scene right now. Yeah, me too. But that's, well, okay, but then, but listen to what she's saying and listen to what he is saying,

you guys, you're a counselor. Oh my God. Like, what she's saying is that, like, I feel this way. And what he's saying is that I don't feel that way. And you're telling me, I feel that way. And she's just like, you can't stop me. They need to talk this out. Oh, my God. It's my art. You can't stop me. He would never stop me. Why do you just talk? And now she's like crying about her. own autobiography. Oh, yeah. All right.

I'm drying up a little bit. Honestly, I'm watching it for these little moments, though. Oh. I'm right. Now I'm writhing. Like I'm watching Melf Manor or something. I'm writhing. But in a different way,

and like a heart and a sad, in a sadness way. There's just such a difference between someone telling you like, you can't do it. And then you like, no, I'm going to do it. It's like, no, you guys are working on this project together. Talk about it. Let's find common ground here.

I want her to make like another album. And I know I keep using this word, but it truly exists so hard for this. Another album in documentary called Hubris, because this whole thing is her desperate to convince the world that she is worthy of like where she's gotten to in life and like that her story is interesting and that she has this like great talent. And so many people like doubted, I guess, because they say she can't sing or whatever, which whatever. You know?

And it's like, Jalo, you're worthy. You're worthy. You don't have to convince anybody. You need to convince yourself. Yes. But this isn't going to be, this isn't how you do that. This isn't how you do it. This is a $20 million project to convince herself that she, like, deserves where she is, which is sad.

Yeah. You do deserve to be. She put her to say it. And it's not to her. It was like, I didn't think she needed to reveal all of this. I don't think that this is necessary. But this is. what she wants to do. And what's funny is we were all had her back up until this point. Like we all were

like, go, girl, you did it. You got the guy back. You know, you've had this great legacy. You know, just enjoy it. Enjoy your life. And instead, she's like, no, you don't get it. I have the greatest story of all. And I'm going to put my money and my relationship on the line. What she just said was, I know I don't need to do any of this, but I want to. This is like a tragedy. Like, you know that they're doing the interviews, anticipating that it will be a success. All the, all the people around her are like,

we're a little bit nervous for the ambition of the project, but they're putting it together like, well, probably that interview will like read, like, oh, when it's a success, that like nervousness about the ambition will be interesting to see. But instead, you're just seeing a, like, live production of people being like, this shouldn't be happening. This shouldn't be happening. And we're in the future.

This is like Medea shit. And I'm not talking about Tyler Perry. It's weird that I have to say that. It is like Medea level. I'm surprised she ended up like drowning her kids or something by the end of this thing. Can you imagine not to be like this? Because I know that we shouldn't be like, poor J-Lo. But this year she watched this huge project that she's put years into,

fail miserably. And now she's being ripped apart for her crime. mumbling marriage. Yeah. And I'd almost feel bad, but there's so many stories about her being rude and need. I know. I just feel bad just for another human being going through that rough of a fucking. Oh, yeah.

And I know she can hide with her many nannies. I know and, like, do what I know. But like, she still is a human being. Totally. But honestly, if there were to be a truly great work to come out of her, it would be actually at this point, potentially. She has, I feel like two options. Either go and like find that piece within yourself.

Or get me another one of these sparkle cups. Because if I don't get one of those rinds, I want it. I hate that you don't have a sparkle cup. I need to have one. I want it to hurt every time I touch it. Yeah. I'll go blood diamonds as I hand it to the evil Starbucks person. And they go blood diamonds and I'll make sure that they're made out of blood diamonds.

I want the jewels to be like falling off in my backpack and like all over my house. to be stepping on them, you know. Oh, yeah. I wanted to be ruining my life. I just want a scene where she's throwing away plates and like, like. They're never going to show it, Holden. Just like, she casually talking about her like love story with bid, just throwing brand new plates and the garb.

Just breaking them out of the box, breaking them. Yeah, just. Yeah, it's crazy that this was released. Oh, my God. She's touching dirt right now. Oh, my God. She's never been dirty before in her life. But she's immediately washing.

She's washing. She's watching. She's wiping. It is crazy that this was released in February of 2020 as a, like, document about what a great, like, artist she is and how great her marriage is. And now in July, 24, you know, from February 24 to July 24, we are, I mean, what a downfall. The unbelievable downfall. The movie tanked, the tour was canceled. Yeah.

The marriage ended. The marriage ended. Isn't that wild? Like, that's why I'm saying, can we please? Like, she's still a human being. Like, that's got to be real fucking hard, dude. And so was that woman at that private airport. Wasn't she a human being?

I say J-Lo deserves it. You know, never look a person in the eye. Why? You know, you never know if they're fearful. Or if they make under 300K, you know what I mean? I do need to pay more attention to who is actually looking at her because it does. I do think when you see those group shots, most people are like fully avoiding. Oh, yes.

She's yelling. She's like, Ben doesn't understand why I'm so stressed out. And now she's listing all the things she's doing. Again, girl, you just don't have to do this. I sometimes think that people need less ambition. Honestly, yes. So right now her team is like talking about the movie, her money investment,

and how this is like kind of a little more like of a roughshod production. And can you imagine she's not used to like all of us like Muppets where we're like, come on guys, let's put out a show. And it's like that is not what J-Lo is doing here. This is so crazy. Could you imagine a group of people like you're at a point in your life where you're such a thing, you're such an entity where there's just a group of people

in a room without you talking about you and how to make you your vision. Yeah, like in your vision and how you need to be treated at all times in order to get the smoothest. He said, well, I mean, we do have those conversations for jacking, right?

We've got the team of people before we do our jacking street every week. They need to get drunk sooner than normal. Fireballs are flowing. He just, what the, what the, her manager guy said, stop referring to it as a music video.

It's not a music video. What is it, buddy? I just, it's, it's a, well, it used to be like a rockumentary, right? Isn't that what they'd call it? Ugh, never call it a rockumentary. Or a rock opera, rather, a rock opera. That's what it is, a pop opera. No, it is.

I just think I hate the world, rockumentary. I think it's like, oh, it's some sort of rockumentary. No, no, no, no. Like, get the hell away for me. That's what they should have called it, a pop opera. Or a popra. Yes. Popra, yeah.

It's not a music video. It's a popra. It's a popra. She wants people to believe that love exists. And she was wrong. J-Lo. No, that's what your ego is telling you to do. And ain't nobody telling her no, except a lot of people are telling her no.

She said that's what her heart's telling her to do, but I just don't. I can't possibly listen to all the people telling me as a bad idea. Yeah. just you got you should, you got to at some point, you have to. I mean, that's the problem. You have to kill your darling sometimes. It's just how it goes. She doesn't have that person anymore in her life other than kind of Ben, but I feel like she didn't let, she didn't hear Ben. She didn't let Ben's voice in enough. And I think he was too afraid to like, you can kind of see him being very trepidacious in, you know, giving her critiques

even. Oh, yeah. He's scary. She doesn't, she need, I don't see that best friend or that like sibling character. You've got to have that person who's like, girl. Because they all work for her. So yeah, it's not the same thing as having a best friend, right? Except Ben doesn't work for her, but he's obviously scared of her. Yes, there's totally not a peer.

We just watch a room full of people doing saying, I mean, and yes, cameras are on. So who knows when they're not. But in this instance, sitting around being like, no matter what, we've got to figure out how to get the best out of her. for the, like, we're given this challenge and we just have to, like, make the best of it, you know? Don't let them see you when you're hurt. So many people involved. It's like, I have no problem with her making, like, a big comeback and, like, doing a new album or making music videos.

There's this gravitas, though, where she's like, I really should spend $20 million on this. And it's like, girl, you are still a talented dancer. Make a music video. Do your projects. It's just like, you are making, you are. word this is too ambitious. Sometimes I...

She bet it all on black, you know what I mean? And it's like you don't need to bet it all on black. Like you could just do a little couple little side bet, but I don't know, I'm not Jailow though. She's like, I want to seem strong. I want like she's literally doing this because she thinks it's going to actually change her image. And it's so sad that she lives in this fucking delusion and her brain because she doesn't understand the real world anymore. People that have been famous for this long don't understand any kind of reality.

And that's what this is really showing. Yes, that's totally true. And there was just no need for her to like save her image. Her image had been rehabilitated by her. I mean, first of all, it was fine. Her image has been fucked for a bit, but also it's because she's a bitch. Yeah, right. And she was a bitch, right.

I remember we were just saying like, but when she got back together with Ben, I think everybody was like, maybe she's not that bigger bitch. Yeah, people were rooting for her. Or she's, or we were like, she's a bitch,

but we accept that. And it's kind of funny at this point. And, you know, but then this is the problem. And this is also the thing right here. Never take yourself too seriously. This is a prime example of someone taking themselves way too seriously. Yeah.

Because we were all went from happy for her to like, bra, we're happy for you. But this ain't the, The greatest love story never told. Right. This is just like cool for you that this worked out and that like you guys got back together. But it is not.

And like it's kind of like when Nick in college tried to give himself a nickname, he tried to be called Viper X. And we were like just made fun of him. You like you can't give yourself a nickname. You can't say that you are living the greatest love. Especially nickname like Viper X. Yeah. Viper X is terrible. Net nickname.

Not just be like a string bean. you know, geeky boy, but... It was like, you can't... And I feel the same way about this. You can't, you can't say it's a great love story. Someone else has to make the movie about your life and say, this is the greatest love story. Right.

I think that's what immediately threw people off, right? And that's all, because that's ego coming out. That's not, like, heart coming in. She thinks it's heart. Ooh, this is so interesting. She thinks it's her heart. It's that, yeah, the heart versus the ego. I want to write the next J-Lo movie album.

Like, and, talk about all this stuff because this stuff's actually interesting. Yes. I forgot. All of the things we've experienced. Like, I've listened to the album. We watch the extended not to music, the poppera, if you will. The popper.

And this I find the most interesting of all three of the aspects. Absolutely. For sure. Honestly, I am getting in very different way watching the I Am Celine Dion doc and like seeing how she is when she's not just being Celine Dionne. when you see this like softer side. Right. It does make you melt.

But with her, it's just making my mind open and understand that like she's struggling mentally, obviously. And no one is close enough to her to be like, hey. J-Lo, yeah, for sure. Because no one can, like, I'd be scared to, you know. Right. It's. And especially if you think what you're doing is so right.

that's the thing. It's like you're so self-assured. God, it's interesting. It really says a lot about, you know, about the artist and creating. He's interviewing her. And he just said, do you forgive me? He said, we have to forgive each other.

Nobody did anything wrong in our breakup. It's like, you know what? Again, you could tell the story. Whoa. You could tell the story of how you loved each other. It was a great love and you guys broke up. Tell the story. It's just, yeah, the self-importance is a little bit hard to,

it's just, it kind of poisons the whole thing. Also, I forgot how, like, cringe the actual project was. I keep wanting to be like, because she is such, I do really enjoy watching her dance, but then I forgot about the therapy scenes and the whole, you know, it's just, girl, you're trying real hard. It's funny to, this is, and we, I remember us feeling like how weird the collection of cameos are for the

astrologer scenes, so it makes so much sense that this is. So many, random ask of people that they were just whoever they could get at this point. Whoever would say yes. And it kind of doesn't make any sense. You're like, why is this person this and why is this person involved? And it makes some sense that it's like,

oh, a ton of people said no. They just, we yield to Grass Tyson. Trevor Noah, Neil DeL deGrasse Tyson. It's a little weird. Oh yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, DeLogast Tyson probably be the first person to in a horoscope.

Yeah. Whoa. That's Split bitch. That split bitch. I love this. It's not even there. Zodiac sides.

It's so funny. Oh, yeah. I forgot Kim Petrus. I forgot Kim Petrus. Oh, yeah, Posty. And Posty's drinking a bud light. Posty. I like how he's just down.

Like, he works with everybody. He just, whoever. He just said, yes, ma'am. He just said yes, ma'am. I love him. Yeah. This is, this is fun. I mean, it's ridiculous, but also fun.

Also fun, I will say, and maybe again, just because the cameras are there. But was she standing there, like, also directing the entire time? Because there is a director, and can you imagine how that director felt on set every day if she fucking stood right next to him? Ooh, you're just facilitating at that point. Honestly, you probably knew that anyway, I'm sure. Your job's all. Nah, it's probably not easier, but maybe at times because you don't have to think as much because she's just dictating.

No, I said he probably knew that anyway. Like, I bet that like he knew that it was going to be J-Lo's project and he's kind of just there. Right. It's also funny because we all were a little bit lit up when we watched the, the, the, the, the, the. A little bit. Yeah. This is being out. So we're all remembering it again for the first time.

It's all coming back to us. Yeah. Yeah. It's all coming back to us now. Oh, Celine. The. Selindy on story. Jalo's in a dark room somewhere

being like, I should have had a seizure at the end of my documentary. That would have made my torso sell. Ooh, Celine! Don't say that about Celine! Ooh, Celine, you win again. Everyone knows I'm the stiffest person there is. How did Celine steal my fun?

For half a second, I didn't realize this was a shot. And it was like, oh my God, is J-Lo actually having fun? And then I remembered that this was a part- part of them. Yeah. Well, yeah, there's a gun. There's a gun. Yes.

Oh, God. The whole thing would be better if it wasn't so embarrassing. And then Ben is just there. Why has Ben there? I know. Doesn't Ben have actual movies to work on? He was weirdly apart. Yeah, the accountant too, I think they'll be all right.

You can get miss a couple days. Oh, I've... Oh, no. He's got a nice smile. When he hugs and kisses her, I root for their love. I love how he looks at her. I know. Oh, no.

This is so funny. You just see what the guy comes. All right. This guy made so many faux pauses in two seconds meeting Benapleck. First one. Bad buddy. My brother loves you. He's like,

Hey, man. Oh my God. It's so great to meet you. My brother loves you. Then he goes. And then he brings up probably the two movies that Ben would hate for him to bring up, which is Armageddon. And maybe Pearl Harbor would be worse.

And fuck it. No, no, no. And Batman. He's like, you're his favorite Batman. And then he said, oh, the last time you guys worked together was Geli. But he called it. Gilly, yeah. Oh, my God.

Yeah, this makes me nostalgic for the days that we watched Gile, which is hard to do because those were also the first days of the pandemic. Yeah, this is a dark day. Dark days, but a good time. Talk about a movie. I barely remember. I remember something about a laundromat. And that's about it.

I remember realizing it was like, oh, this is just a really bad get shorty. And then everything else was blackout. Yeah, I just really like how these people who are in charge of making this project. all look like they want to die all the time. Yes. I think that's fun. Like, but they have a smile on their face as if there's a gun to their back. Because there is in the bad bunny scene.

Yes. Huh. This is interesting. Ooh. We have $200,000 extra. We need that money. Like this lady. Somebody's got to.

She is like, she is over being the pillar that holds up J-Lo. Don't you think? Yeah, but she's the one trying to protect. And if you just saw J-Lo was like, maybe you should stop talking. I think he just wants you to stop talking. Like, he's being mean to her. And she's the only one who's like, hey. Who's trying to help her?

Oh, I know. Oh, my God. It's such a huge production. It's a huge production. So big. So big. There's ink and Raptor or whatever the fuck their names are. Songwriters.

Just a $20 million dollar of Anurday project. made by an accomplished musician. But also, like, are the songwriters not, like, on set and therefore getting paid? Like, I don't know, I just, I see leeches. I smell and see leeches, in other words. Like people encouraging her to make this mistake. I'm not necessarily accusing ink of being a leech, but it just feels like, whoa.

Again, yeah, it's the whole thing. What about Razorback? Once Razorback gets in here, I tell you, man, things are going to get turked. I love that everyone involved with the project It's like I don't really understand it And I think it's a question Like I have no idea what the fuck is happening Everyone they talk to

It was just like not really sure Why we are doing this But I know J-Lo asked me to be here So I'm here I mean if J-Lo asked me to do something I'm probably gonna do it The contrast between her interviews Where she's like

I just I have something to say And everyone else is just like We don't have the money and there's really no point to do this. We're trying to just facilitate whatever this is. Kind of reminds me of Katie Perry trying to explain the woman's world music video. Oh my God.

It's satire. It is not satire, girl. That's plan B. You call it satire as plan B. You're telling me that whole song is sarcastic. We haven't even gotten to talk to M.J. We're not talking about it. We're not talking about it right now.

That's a month and a half ago. I know. Sorry, guys, we're bringing it up again. I know. I'm just excited for. dress though because I am so sad that I went through my wedding and didn't have a just pussy cover just a pussy cover. It's like that the only thing that's covered is just the strip right before my pussy.

There's really no way to describe that dress other than the words pussy cover. Those were the exact words in my head. It's the opposite fanny pack dress. Anything that where a fanny pack would be is covered but everywhere else not covered. I'm really sick of her saying this has never been done before. This has absolutely been done before. Yeah, since when has like a millionaire narcissist made a project about themselves, Holden? Well, that, but on top of that, like, plenty of musicians in the past have made a, like, music movie around an album they put out.

That's what she's saying. That's that it's a hybrid. It's not a movie. That's why it's different. Yeah. It's because it's a hybrid. The Wall, magical mystery tour. I would call it a one.

act. You know, if we're going to call this anything, I would dare say, all right, it's not a full play. It's a one act popper. Yeah, it's a one act popper. I just named those. The, magical mystery tours, definitely that. Beatles did a bunch of these. They're not full movies. They were not full movies. They are movies. They're not movies. All right, I'm not going to fight about this. Well, well, they're this. They have a little bit of dialogue. in between and they're all songs. They're totally what this is. They're like an hour long.

They're even the time length and everything. They're that. Oh my God. J-Lo. Yeah, it's funny. I think Ben Affleck is the most, aside from her, is the most,

well, let me restart that sentence. Ben Affleck is the most, like, relatable and enjoyable person in the movie. I think she is really charismatic. Yes. But she's not relatable. But every time he comes on screen, I feel myself smiling and, like, happy to see him, you know?

I think I'm falling more in love with him at this movie. Yeah. And that's upsetting me. But the problem is, is this is sober Ben Affleck, which I'm pretty sure is not happening right now. And I think that that is the problem with Ben, is that he gets into the sauce and the gambling, and it's a different dude.

Yeah. Yeah, that'll happen. They can't, you just got to keep them away from the slots, that's all. Although I imagine he's not a slots. I'm gonna guess he's like a, I imagine he's card. Yeah, because he counts, right? He got kicked out because he counts cards. Oh yeah, I forgot about that.

And by the way, this is another case just like, just like I'm glad my mom died like little, like I feel so bad for a little girl who has to like deal with a scene like this. You know what I mean? Yeah. I would say I would hope that at least J-Lo would be very nice. to the kid. Right.

She seems very nice, but it's just, yeah, it's just, the whole thing is uncomfortable. Although she's probably not. I bet she's a bitch

to the kid too. Jackie, stop trying to defend her for no reason. You're this way because you were a middle child, J-Lo? Yeah,

she's shitty from the block, MJ, all right. She hasn't done that scene yet, has she? Or she puts her hair down. Uh-huh. Oh, girl. Yeah, this is actually

just a, really it's about how, being a middle child is legitimately devastating. Yeah, this is all happening because she's a middle child. Are you telling you that Henry's going to come out with a doc like this? Because I would actually, you know what? I'd love to see it. I would be interested in watching.

Honestly, I would love if Henry made a greatest love story never told. Greatest love story never told to dot dot dot dot met now. Yeah. Why now? Yeah. Why now? Why now? Your mom was a narcissist.

And this is glad my mom died. I'm glad I just brought that up. Is that, that feels about right? First time the word narcissist has been uttered in this project. Uttered. Yeah. Interesting. Interesting.

Which sounds like, therefore, she has gotten some therapy. If she's able to, like, classify her mother as a narcissist and talk about how being a middle child affected her. emotional neglect, yeah, Ben. Yeah. Yeah, sounds like she had like a fine. Oh, I'm falling in love with Ben Affleck! Yeah, she was like a lonely kid with like a... She's an lonely adult.

Yeah, yeah. Jackie, are you sobbing? Yeah, I'm sobbing. No, it's not just my allergies, just my nose running like a faucet. Mm. Oh, there's still that party. feels so long you get a pain.

Everything he's saying right now is what the movie should have been. Because he knows he's hurt. He knows he's hurt, but he also knows that she's hurt. I think they could have gotten together and made a movie actually based on that stuff that would have been fascinating. Yes. Oh, there's a great story to be told here. There is a great love story to be told here.

I don't think it is, you know, honestly, that's the problem. It shouldn't be about the love, all her relationship. It should have been a story about her loving herself. Whoa. And she never got that. She never figured that out. Like that what she's trying to tell. Somebody's been watching couples therapy.

Oh, it's so good. And being in couples therapy. I mean, it's great. Hey, shout out to therapy. I mean, always shout out to therapy. Yeah. But also, yeah, season four couples therapy, I mean, it's been out for a while at this point.

But if you haven't gotten on it, it's so good. Yeah, so far the highlights of this movie are all of the, like, flashbacks to her earlier work. And Ben Affleck. Like, I just, I don't know. Her, I think the whole fucking thing's fascinating because we're watching, you know, in context, it's fascinating. I don't think this is actually very good, not in context, but now knowing how badly everything went south since now. I'm so happy we waited to watch it.

Yeah, me too. Because every bit of the rehearsals and the team of people just trying to figure out, like, how to make this thing happen and the, her right-hand lady being worried about the budget and overspending her own money. Although I will say, again, we have to remember in context, she has insane millions. And this did not, like, break her financially. It's just, it is, like, yes, it's not, she's not. She's not in the top three divas of all time or whatever, but like it is really like she has just, this year she has like single-handedly kind of like tanked

and otherwise like pretty good legacy. I feel like yeah, everyone knows she's a bitch, but like, yeah, she is an icon. She's been around for decades. He even just said everybody's been trying to shake her out of her nonsense. Yeah. And there is a weird. Yes, Fat Joe.

She keeps saying meta and stuff. And there is a weird meta in here. but it's a meta she's not actually seeing. The meta she thinks she sees isn't what's actually going. Like this therapy session. Fat Joe just said, have you ever considered being alone for a minute? Yeah.

Ouch. And that's even in, that's in it. But like, I know that that's a part of the script, J-Lo, and I'm very happy for you, but like in reality,

let's talk about this. Yeah. She's like, she's like, say, I can be alone. I can be alone. Yeah, I mean. I feel like when you get this successful, you have enough money that, you know, people will always be around you if you want that or even just allow it.

I mean, you remember, that's why part of the reason why Britney Spears went crazy in 2008 or just had her breakdown is because she hasn't been left. She had been left alone in years, in 10 years. Besides all the other. Yeah, and you don't realize how much of a detriment that could. potentially be, especially when the people around you are, I think you blink and you realize, like, oh, all the people around me wouldn't be here if I didn't have all this money, you know? So it's not only your career, it's all of everybody else's careers on your back as well. And I feel it too. When I'm around extremely, like, successful, rich people, there's something

weird that goes on in me. I, like, feel drawn, compelled, you know, to be a part of that thing. You know what I mean? It's weird. Also, I really hope Monster-in-law holds up because I really liked it when it first came out. I know I'm a big J-Lo rom-com stand. That's the thing. She has a good fucking legacy. She could have just left it. Her movies are great.

Made Manhattan? Fantastic. Monster-in-law. I enjoyed the wedding planner. We watched that not too long ago. I thought it was fun. This woman has a great legacy. And also the idea of having this, you know, second season of life, love story

reactivated is a great story, but there's no perspective. She just has no perspective on her own self-importance. Yeah, I thought that this was a big need to be like relevant and stay relevant. And actually, I'm realizing, no, it's like this weird. She has this weird need to convince everybody that she's like worthy in this way that she doesn't think people feel condensed up. And she's not crazy in that way because, yes, there's a huge consensus of like she can't sing or she doesn't sing her in songs or she's not on the same level as, you know, other pop stars because of that, you know what I mean? Or like, whatever.

And, um, although their little friendship is very cute, by the way, Jane Fonda. Jay Lowe's friendship is very fucking adorable. Extremely cute. And I love that Jane Fonda was like, yeah, I can't say no to you, bitch. Two days. Do it, Jade. Jade, it's like, cut to like. Another person who's like,

this is not... God, everyone. Dude, how many people in the course of this movie were an hour in have said this is maybe not a good idea? Yeah, everyone. And I think they probably made this documentary thinking that would show that it actually was a good idea

and it wasn't. They're talking about their first go-around. They're talking about this from two completely different points of view. He's like, there was too much scrutiny. There was too much scrutiny. She's like everyone was celebrating us. Yeah. It's crazy.

This is like they should show this movie in couple therapy. Yeah. It's not a fair thing to ask, Ben. Because how do you do it without social media when you're that big of a celebrity? Oof. You're going to marry a boat captain while I don't like water. You're two people with different approaches trying to learn to compromise, Ben. And it doesn't work out.

And now we know it doesn't work. But there is no compromise here because this is not a compromise. No, she just gets what she wants. She's like, hey, I want to put our entire shit out there in this weird one-sided way, too. Where is Ben? I feel like his insight on their relationship. And actually, let's go back to that script writing part where he was like, no, let's put the reality in there. Just like, delete that, delete that.

Yeah. You know? Yeah. Yeah. Where is what Ben wants? I know. I wonder if Ben Affleck had more. of a collaboration with her

on this, what maybe would have happened with that. But it seems like that's, collaboration doesn't seem to be a word in their relationship. Yeah. Like real collaboration. Because if you're both executive producers

on the project, you should be on the same level and it shouldn't just be her saying no and know to every single person that comes to her. Yeah. Because you think about it, all right? It's like, oh, it's 20 million of her. own money. It's like, no, let's be real. Let's talk about this like rich people. It's 20 million from her company that is separate from her own self so she can write off everything that she's

putting into. Like, let's be real. This doesn't really affect, like this is all done through the laws that are there to protect the rich so that they can do shit like this. So like... I had to look... Go on. No, no, please. I just had to look up. So I was like, I know I'm not thinking of pop versions of what this is that have been done before. Lemonade. That, yeah. It was so done recently, really well. It's called Lemonade and it was like extremely vulnerable and like famously well.

Really put some shit out there. You know the difference between lemonade and this is that it actually like Beyonce's really. I don't even know if you can compare it. Yeah, right. You absolutely. It is. Cunky. But Beyonce, it's not about.

Lemonade isn't about how Beyonce is awesome and perfect in every way, right? Yes. That's the problem with this. This is just like, what if I just made a film about me and how awesome I am and how my... Honestly, it's a problem I have with Taylor Swift's music. One issue I have is like I feel like she doesn't... I feel like it's always the other person's fault in her songs. Or like, you know what I mean?

And sometimes she... It's not always like that, but for the most part. and I go, hmm. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Why am I on that vibrational level? Yeah. Lemonade was not a vanity project.

It was a storytelling project. This is a vanity project. And it was still... Or at least I think that Beyonce understands that, like, if you're going to do something that indulgent, you've got to, like, give something up. Like, you've got to, like, be forthcoming and vulnerable in this, like, very uncomfortable way.

Right. Again, I loved that thing. I need to go back and listen to it, this Noah Kahan, I believe, songwriting podcast where he talks about how like, anytime he writes a line in a song and he's like, oh, that's embarrassing. Instead of erasing it, he keeps it. Anytime he, like, writes something that feels so vulnerable, it's like, oh, my God, that would be, that's so embarrassing to, like,

reveal about myself. He makes it a point to keep it in. This is literally what J-Lo is talking about right now, but... she, it's, she's saying, she's basically saying like, well, I'm just, everyone else is uncomfortable, but I'm just moving forward. I'd get the fuck out of here. I'd never look back. Just go be in the sunset. Oh. It's just us. I feel like I'm in a bad, one of those, like, bad dreams where like someone's hurt or something. And, and I know what to do and I can stop it, but there's just some force, some impossible force holding me back. It's an hour to half of us just yelling that at J-Lo.

Please stop. We can see the future. We can see it. It's not good. But, you know, this is the thing. How different would this watch-along be if it's... If her tour sold out and she was still with Ben and... Yes, exactly.

I mean, how differently would we be talking about this? That's the thing. I think that that's the environment that they were expecting to release this documentary into, right? and that is not what happened. And by the way, this is my favorite lane, Jojo Siwa. I know you're not listening to this, but if you are,

I do think you should definitely make a documentary about this time in your life. I will absolutely watch it and record a podcast around it. Katie as well, please. What's she talking about? She's talking about her relationship history. Yeah, with assault.

And talking about being vulnerable with it and just talking about wanting to share that experience. Puffy, dude. Yeah. We forget. I was going to bring that up. I'm like, and I do think Ben's been good to her in that way. She said, I have good intentions with this. I don't want it to suck. This is such an uncomfortable conversation. Yeah. Because he can't say, like, it doesn't suck. He's like, well, keep going. He's like, just enjoy it. I mean. You're putting your whole heart into it. to it.

He's trying to be really encouraging. And I do think that I like... Yeah, he's cute. If you were going to do a rock show, oh no, I just fell in love. Their relationship is cute. He does seem...

He does seem so good for her. It's such a bummer. I know. Yeah, I wish I... I'm fine with the whole thing being a failure, but I wish that they hadn't. Now I'm sad about their love story. I'm sad about all of it.

This is a sad. I think I might love their love. Yeah. Oh, no. They can't break up. It is the greatest love story never told because it is never told. Because the love story doesn't exist. Ugh.

I forgot about the dirt dancing, though. I didn't forget this part. I'm also remembering how like all this music sounds like all those flashback songs. like she never like updated her sound. I think it's very real. Yeah. Issue. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. All J-Lo songs have a similar. Yeah. It sounds like the, you know, the boy is my kind of era. It's got that like orchestral thing happening and then like the beat. It sounds like from that exact era of. But she is a great dancer.

She could have. Early aughts. Done something like this that was just a little. Honestly. five percent, five to ten percent more self-awareness would have, could have saved this from being like a national humiliation to just like, you know what? No, you know what would have been good? No, I think so, Jackie.

No, I think a totally different thing. But make a movie, make like a Save the Last Dance type movie where you focus on your dancing abilities. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she's a good actor. That's a good point. It's about like the veteran getting back into the game after like a long time. You know what I mean?

That would have been cool. And I've been actually thinking about how I want more of those kinds of movies. Yes, like a house style I got her groove back. But for like a, yeah, that would have been a great movie. A rom-com about like a middle-aged diva who wants to get her groove back. Now. Yeah, I was thinking of it. We're all just like, I was thinking about how like I want a return to form with those movies, you know, those like big dance movies.

but she would hate that. She would, she would be like, I'm not just a dancer. I'm a storyteller. I'm a singer. I'm Ginny from the block. I just, yeah, I just feel, it feels so weird to shit on it

because there is like some good, there's like a lot of good in the mix. I think the good is, is watching her make it. I think the movie is her, like, I think the interesting movie here would be like, like a Capote. kind of style movie

with, sorry, just her even being like, I'm 50 and they're all 22. I'm trying to keep up with them. It's like, you do not, you're great. You're doing,

can you imagine? Most people that, you know, that are 50? It's like, you're doing great. Yeah. Oh,

she's keeping up. Totally. That's the thing. She's keeping up. Totally. She can still dance. But yeah, like.

The hell out of it. Like, I think a movie about her making this movie with a really interesting message and like the heartbreak of the, Baham is the scenes of the relationship falling apart while she's making a love story, like her love story on screen.

That is fucking fascinating. It makes me want to go off and write it. Which is funny because this is a movie about her making the movie, but you want a movie about her making the movie about her making the movie. This is a documentary. I mean like a written movie. I see. I see.

That has a, it's trying to say something about like someone getting too lost in their art, their ego, thinking they're being led by their heart when really their heart's at home. It's been. And he's like trying to work with her and like support her. but like he hates the limelight and she's doing the opposite of what he would want

you know, it's just so fast like all that's so interesting. And Affleck just said you don't have anything to prove. Yeah, just off to the side being like, please stop, you don't have to do this. And her whole team and so many people on her team and so many people, you know, who are all saying that, you know, the real people that care about her, like Fat Joe or whatever.

Is that his name, right, Fat Joe? Yeah, like you can tell he, and Jane Fonda, you can tell they legitimately care about. her, they are actual friends, and they're both saying the same thing. Yeah. They're both like, I just, I care about you and I don't want you to get lost in this. And I can tell. And she's breaking her fucking body to do it too.

But no wonder she had to cancel the tour because also with all this stuff going on, how do you go on and do a tour for half sold audiences? Right. How do you do that after this? Why, she said? Her husband's away at his premiere. She got a bunch of hard notes. And she wasn't there.

He got great reviews. She's just very self-obsessed. Because the thing is, she didn't need, you know, he was even calling it out earlier. He was like, you don't have to play the young version of yourself. Like, that's the hubris stuff where it's like, again, she didn't have to be doing this much. She's the one deciding to do this much. And talk about the self-obsession, right? he's away at his premiere and it's going well

and she's like sobbing about herself like and I get it we all have those moments with our partner like I get it that we have moments where we're like I'm not able to think about my partner right now because I'm stuck in my own shit like that totally makes sense but like she's literally sad that he's having a successful time because she's so self-obsessed with her own shit right now bro you are so very right yeah

And especially his success. So all that does is resonate for her, her, not her failures. Yes. Which is not what you should do in a relationship. Yes. I want to hear more about her mother. I want to hear more about her mom. Her narcissist mom.

I want to hear more about that childhood with her mom. I think there's so much there. That she is fucking J-Lo and she is so, so insecure that she's sad that Ben Affleck is having a good weekend because she's like, what does this mean for me? Again, it is relatable. I think we've all had those moments. But you're J-Lo. Aw. Who's that on her shirt?

Is that Liza Minnelli? I can't tell through the sit-ups. It looks like Liza. Man, those things are so scary. Those set-up machines. I'm so scared. I'm scared of pulling out my back every time I do it. She's on like the leg where you bend over the thing

and put your legs up in the... On your stomach and your... It's weird. Yeah, it looks like a kind of a BDSM situation. It's so weird to think of being rich. And even on a day that you're like not working, there's just like staff at your house, you know? That's what I'm saying about the being alone thing.

Like, that is such a compelling thing about when you hit this level is that like you have to actively tell people to not be around you. Yeah. Like, it's such a different reality. Like we don't, you know, I have to pay my wife and daughter to exist with me for an hour at a time. To give them treats and money and gifts. Yeah. So you're talking about enjoying being one.

Yeah. J-Lo, you got a lot of work left to do, girl. There's such an interesting story here. I just wish she could see it. Yes. And maybe she will. she is a really compelling person there's actually a lot of compelling stuff in this documentary

it's just that she needs to like get a little a smercom of perspective I'm glad we didn't watch this for like chat I know we were like we should have watched the documentary you should have watched no I would have been real sad or I would have like drunkenly screamed over it and not like absorbed this appreciated it yeah

she's got a lot of healing to do I do I do I do feel that for this 10-year-old. Again will help her find it? I don't know. You think being alone again will help her find it? Is that what you said? Maybe she needs to be alone, dude.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, she was not ready. She was doing right now. She was not ready to be back with Ben. That's, there's no question about it. This entire movie is just like. But it seemed like he was ready to be back with her, though. Yes.

Yeah. Yes. Yeah, he seems like a pretty emotionally healthy person, actually. Which is funny because we've just spent the last 10 years. years making fun of him and his donkeys. Yes. And is standing in an alley looking sad. And he is a motion to mopping the floor with his emotional health. I just hope he could keep it together because I know how much he struggles with alcoholism. And I always worry for people when they like hit these kinds of troubling points in their lives because it's so easy to to fall back on that.

And he does seem, even in this documentary, he seems very very. like an emotion, like a sensitive person. Like they really do both seem like incredibly vulnerable, sensitive people. Vulnerable isn't quite the right word because she's too self-protective. But like it is giving like a realness, you know, like it really is. I love you, Jane Fonda. This is J-Lo and Jane doing their scenes together in the dressing room. How many, how many times has Jane been married?

It's a good question. Does she have a lot of marriages? I'm looking it up. I mean, it also is just hard to have your life fall apart. She's been married thrice. Thrice. Okay, there you go. It's hard to have your, like, public image fall apart over a project that was your life story.

You know, like, your life story, as you are telling it in this project, is not good enough to be the thing that saves your career. It's the thing that tanks your career. You know what I mean? Like, yeah. Yep. well again what was saving her career was just her living her life

and then as soon as she intervened on that and tried to like make stuff out of it that's what fucked it up where if she had just kind of gone with the flow I think it would have been different. Like I think again I think like coming off of her

kind of rebuilt reputation with Ben a couple of fun rom-coms came out yeah I don't think anybody was saying they were amazing or anything but they were fine and then, as I've always said, Broken Record, go do that residency in Vegas

with all your hits, or if anything, do your eras, whatever, to go out and do your greatest hits tour. And I think she would have been all right. Man, I could watch Jane Fonda read the phone book, though.

Right. Yes. It's kind of like when they tried to bring Morbius back into the theaters because of its morbid time and Morbius failed. And they failed again. Yeah.

I also can't forget. I forget that this movie was an hour long. Yeah, it was an hour. Yeah. So, like, it reminds me of that because we're all interested in the thing, but, like, we don't actually want to see, like, this packaging that you're trying to make us see it in. Like, we don't actually want to see the movie in the theater. What we love about it is to talk about it online.

And, like, we love the whole Ben J-Lo story as it exists in the movie. the ether, but we don't want to see your telling of it in a music, long music video. Yeah, but you know that's not true, J-Lo. He just asked her, what is the success? Like, when is this considered a success? And she said, just doing it is the success. No. That ain't fucking true.

That's not true. She measures herself. Yeah, she measures herself based on external validation. It's never going to be enough, J-Lo. Yeah. I don't see her, like, exactly what Ben was saying. It's like, dude, if it sucks, it's something. like just enjoy the process.

It's all you can do. But when you don't enjoy the process, it's, it's, yeah, it always subpar usually. Oh, J-Lo. Do it afraid. Oh, J-Lo. I need like out of this. All right, we've got like 10 more minutes.

I am like, this is really intense. Devastated by this. This is not what I expected to feel whatsoever. This is not what I expected. it to feel either. Well, again, we don't get the shots of her being rude to the flight attendant. Of course. You know what I mean?

This is with a grade of salt. We all understand. No one here is like, oh, man, J-Lo's the greatest. Like, we're not saying that. How much would I pay for her to get the shots of her being weird to the valet? God, I would pay money for that documentary. It's interesting also because we were saying before how, like, Lemonade had a lot of, like, vulnerability and that

this is me dot dot that now didn't but this documentary does. Like this is J-L being very vulnerable. Yeah. Like she's being like, I'm really insecure. I think I've forgiven you all the way. I need to forgive myself. Yeah, dude.

I think she's got to find that now after this whole thing happened. This is J-Lah now. It's just so hard, if any of us are going through, I mean, we're even more in the blind light. Let's talk about even people who don't have a podcast or whatever. If any of those people are going through a divorce, oftentimes they get quieter in the real world or in the social media world or whatever.

You don't hear about them. And then you see them a year later and find out that they got divorced, went through a really bad divorce fucking months ago, you know what I mean? But to have it all just happen right in front of you and there's a documentary. Yeah. Yeah. It's just so, there's a dog. There's a poppera.

And it's very sympathetic that their love couldn't work because of the intensity and the scrutiny of the paparazzi. It's just crazy that she then used her own insecurity as like a engine to drive it apart again because she did so much external validation and he didn't. Hugh Briss, my friend. Absolutely. This is the Greek tragedy of our time. And that's why she's going to drown her kids. No. No.

They're too old. Is that all teenagers? That would be difficult to do. You can't drown several teenagers. I don't care how strong she is. She is very strong. She's like choreo like drown, you know, doing like a artistic drowning.

Oh, no, we about it. Oh, no. Oh, my God. My heart. She has such a double meaning. He's trying to give her all the credit where credit is due, but there's such a double meaning there. Well, he, I don't think he meant it like that.

I know, but in hindsight. Yeah. There was no we and that's, uh, we, we, we all the way home. It's like the, I don't really love being in the making up documentary about my personal life. Yeah. He doesn't like it. Yeah. He doesn't want it.

He doesn't like it. That's your, that's your love, girl. It's about the ability to love yourself. It's... And she doesn't have it yet. Yes. Yeah. But I don't...

Yeah, exactly. He's literally saying it's, I can't do this for you. I can't do this for her. You have to learn how to love yourself. It's not finding me. It is finding love for yourself. This is devastating. Oh, God, what's the prize for age?

Wisdom. But that's the thing. This is a great. This is a great way to end it on because the prize for aging is wisdom. Wisdom is good. And what she gained from this is more valuable than the movie and the tour and even her marriage. She's gaining hopefully through all of this. She's leveled up.

But she was fighting it. I feel like she was fighting. This was about her. I almost, we haven't even really been talking about this in terms of like her perspective on aging. But like I do feel like this was her being like, I'm not aging. I'm fighting. I'm not. I'm.

Yeah. Yeah, that scene where she's like, I'm trying to keep up with these. 22 year. I'm still relevant. I'm still, like, and it's almost like if she had just embraced, like, I'm, I am older. This is a different season of my life right now. I don't have to do this. Yeah.

I, it makes me deeply sad, the people who cannot accept with grace, you know, getting what it is to get older. Because I think getting older is a beautiful, beautiful thing, you know. Yeah. I like romanticize. Oh, look at their love. I romanticize getting older. I romanticize, you know, five.

finally being like at peace with the life you've had and all that kind of stuff. I think that's like beautiful, wonderful stuff. And it makes me so sad to see people like rage against that, fight against that. Okay. Neil deGrasse Tyson is talking about how we're all stardust. Yeah, we're all start us. I know. We've got it.

Yes, yes. They're like, we've got Neil deGrasse Tyson. We've got to get at least one of those lines in here. They're like, this isn't sad enough. Let's get like a really heavy-handed. narrative from Neil deGrasse Tyson about Star Does. Well, I'll tell you what, she made a hell of a documentary. Yeah, man.

This was the best part of the three. Of the triumvirate of this project. This is by far the best. We never got to see the tour, though. So we don't know. I'm not even including the tour. This is, I'm talking to the filmic experience, the doc, the album.

I'm keeping the tour far out of this conversation. God, what would that have been like? And the documentary about the tour would have been great too. I do feel a little robbed of that now. Damn, I would have loved to see the live show. Wow. This is, I cannot believe what a emotionally devastating journey this was. God.

Wow. I can't believe how I feel right now. I'm very surprised. Brog, credits are rolling if you're listening and not watching this at all. Wow. Wow. We did it. We watched it.

What a fascinating rumination. I think this might be one of my favorite, like, pop star documentaries of all time because it's based on a failing project, whereas usually we're watching someone rise to the absolute top and, you know, I don't know. This is so compelling. That was really compelling. She's a compelling person. Oh, my God. I just have to, I wonder, hey, this is me now. I wonder what this is, what JLo is now. That's what I want to know. I want to know. I would love to just be able to jump into a room and see. And I know it's not positive. I'm sure it's not very happy, but. I mean, she was writing commercial not that long ago. Honestly, I hope this is making me

way less able to enjoy the like kind of silliness of the downfall of their relationship. I actually am finding it really upsetting now. Is it nice? We have some perspective. Isn't it good? To think about celebrities as people sometimes? They're people, man. I guess I didn't like love. that it, I mean, I just knew it was going to fail. I liked it in the sense, in a gambling sense, that I could tell, like, my prediction was correct. That it was not going to work. And that is reassuring in a sense, right? Because it's like, that's order in the universe.

But in terms of like enjoying their divorce and her downfall, not necessarily, I'm fascinated by it, though. And I'm, and I'm really interested to see if she just kind of, goes away for a long time and says, hey, I just want to, like, deal with all this on my own and not make another thing based on all this. I'd be all for it, but I would also be fascinated for whatever if she tried to, like, make another comment with, with art or whatever in the future. So what we're saying, Jaylon, obviously you listen to us, watch this. What we're saying is we want more from you, and we support you and we believe in you. And we want a little bit of

bit more vulnerability. We need a little bit of a change of perspective. And because now all of our perspectives have been changed about the entire situation. And I want to say thank you, JLo, for putting this out for us. We need, this is me then. This is me now. And then what is the third? This is me. Dot, dot, dot, dot, me. All right. Showtime. Hit up Jalo. If it's just her on the couch, that's fine. If it's her and Ben, even better. Couples Therapy Season 5. And it's just J-Lo. That's how solidify your legacy.

Fucking incredible would that be. I would slurping up. That's how you save yourself, girl. And hey, throw music musical numbers in there as well, like to interspersed. I mean, I guess that's what this movie is, but it didn't work. Or at least dancing. That was what the movie was. Because you notice there was really kind of barely any of her.

music in it. It was more just the dancing. It's like, just focus on that. Put the dance. That's what we enjoy. All right. Well, it's just more credits from here. So I'm going to stop it. Thank you guys so much for joining us on this journey. I hope or I guess, I don't know. Did you go through what we just went through?

Let us know page 7 podcast at gmail.com because I'd love to know your thoughts on the matter. Incredible. Thank you guys for hanging out with us through this movie, whether you watch the movie or whether you didn't, or maybe this enticed you to watch the movie after you've listened to this, and I hope you enjoy it because I guess

J-Lo, she needs us. She needs us right now. Yeah. Because she's going through a lot and she doesn't realize it. She can't talk about it just yet. All right, she's not quite connected. So that's okay, we're going to watch from the outside

and watch it all implode. Yeah, shout out. And feel weird about it. I feel weird about it. I feel real weird. All right, let's go feel weird. Have a good one, everyone. Enjoy.

go forth. Summer, whatever. Summer experience. We love you guys. We'll be back next week. Bye, everybody. Bye, everybody. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.