Page 7 - This is My Show w/ Henry Zebrowski

Episode Date: November 21, 2025

This week on Page 7 it's HENRY'S WORLD AND We're lucky to be livin' in it on this inaugural Thanksgiving episode filled with brotherboss butterfly kisses and goss' 'bout Keith Urban playing "Pink Pony Club" at a Mar-a-Lago Club party attended by Chappell Roan superfan Trump, and everyone's just so darn proud of Natural Jackie. Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo are now surgically attached at the wrist, Spongebob did a sexy shoot to prove he's totally not a livin' pile of tapioca pudding and nooo onnnneeee caaaaressss, dude! MJ prepares for a first viewing of "Addams Family Values", Henry reveals him and his tussy are gonna be on the road for Thanksgiving leaving Jackie with a Micro-Thanksgiving, some celeb Thanksgiving news including Wolfgang Van Halen and mother Valerie Bertinelli chain restaurant Thanksgivings. Henry recalls OJ being a regular at the bar of the hotel he stayed at for his wedding, and then we got a list that flashes back to a time of fewer labor and animal welfare laws with a LIST of old Hollywood publicity stunts that were SO WILD, they make today's studios LOOK LIKE CHILD'S PLAY (and I ain't TALKIN' THE MOVIE), and BLINDZ! Jackie's Snackies starts 'round 1:11:48.260 with MJ's Minute Munchies 'round 1:21:22.476 that runs until 1:24:16.164. All that and more on this week's Page 7!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

There's two things I know for sure She was sent here from heaven But she's daddy's little girl As I drop to my knees by her bed at night Oh, the show's beginning She talks to Jesus And I close my eyes I thank God for all of the joy in my life

Wouldn't you choose something I could join you with? Master of the house For butterfly kisses After bedtime prayer I actually didn't know the rest of the words Like a little white flowers all up in her hair Walk beside the pony daddy Is that what this is?

It's my first ride I know the cake looks funny daddy but I sure tried I'll probably die recently I've done wrong I must have done something right to deserve

a hug every morning and butter flag kisses at night It's the Thanksgiving episode Brother Boss is on Oh that's what this is It's a Thanksgiving episode And I feel like that was a family song

I thought that was like a song Where family comes together It's not a family It's not a family we're not, we're not feeling like gravy. We're not feeling. No, it's daddy daughter dance song. Oh.

That's a daddy daughter dance song. Oh. Do I have dramas? Yeah. Okay. I'm glad that you know what. I wanted to establish that up top. Welcome Henry Zabrowski to the show.

Oh, he's a brother boss of sorts. I guess he's on a little show that we like to go last podcast on the left. Why are you looking to me like that? You are so, you know what? You know what? I'm just more shocked. I don't know how effervescent you are. Wow.

Isn't that nice? Yes, this is my microphone personality, Henry. I fright. They don't see me on the other side where I'm always like this. No, no. Look at everybody. Don't you wish the world could see more, MJ, of what Jackie's really like? Yeah, what am I really like.

I don't know what you're talking about, Henry. She's always lovely and... Thank you. Happy, calm. You know how many times I have to hear, like, I have to... She goes like, there's something wrong with my... bottom, and it turns out she's sitting on a pine cone or something. And, like, Jeff always has to, like, move the pine cone from her.

And she goes, everything's always uncomfortable for me. And then Jeff has to go and make sure her shoe inserts aren't too heavily. But then I go and I find the pine cone and I sit on it again. He's like, I've tried to remove the pine cone. I'm sitting on a pine cone again. What are you going to do about it? Yeah, and then he lifts me up like I'm an angel and he's a big, bad devil man. I know.

This is your entire life. life. Yeah, it's kind of fun, but at least I'm not married to Keith Urban. At least, man. Yeah, that's what I transitioned it into. Let's go there. Why did you put in the notes, I'm sorry, MJ, in the notes, Jackie put that I liked Keith Urban. Do you? No. Yeah, you're an urbanator. People are saying, people are saying you like Keith Urban. I don't like Keith Urban. Everybody's been saying it, and it's crazy. We're hearing it in the hallways. We're hearing it in the bathrooms. I don't know what Keith Urban does. She didn't technically accuse you of liking Keith Urban.

She just said that you're not welcome to side with him. Don't consider it. I would never. I would never. I don't know. Always for Nicole Kidman's freedom. Of course. Yeah.

Yeah. We obviously here on page 7 chose Nicole Kidman in the divorce because who gives a fuck urbanator's herb. You can go herb yourselves on over to Mar-a-Lago because that's where. just feel like this headline hurts my brain that Keith Urban sings Pink Pony Club at the party at Mar-a-Lago attended by President Donald Trump. And it's just such a good... You know that they did it to make you upset, right?

Of course. They're doing it for this reaction. But I also follow a lot of right-wing mom influencers on Instagram. I can't explain why it just happened. And they all love Chapel Rhone. They love, it should be, if I could pass one law, it would be that right-wing influencers are not allowed to feel any joy when listening to Chapel Roe because you're against everything that she stands for. But they love, they, it's a great song. I think they just, I think they just like it.

I think the same thing happened. Do you remember with Lil Nas and with the achy, breaking heart? Oh, yeah, Billy Ray Cyrus. Like when the Old Town Road thing went down, everybody loved it. It was a cross-market hit across. across it was both pop and country and then once it got really to the country areas when they started to try

to crop the little gnaws of it out right and so we're, I think you're saying the correct MJ is that they love Pink Pony Club and they needed to be sung by a man in order for them to enjoy it. Yes. And so they finally got Keith Urban to do it and I bet you

he even did it with like a little wry little grin on his face. Oh he did. Trump went doing his little he did the dance probably a little bit while they were doing it. Quiet, piggy. Not really knowing, you know. I'm just, you know, I've only to be president to say quiet picky to various people

as I would. That is, that's enough. I have been laughing. Quiet, piggy. Quiet, I've got to do it for her. It feels good to say, honestly. My stomach hurts from laughing so hard.

Quiet, piggy. I just start saying it to you, Henry, randomly. Yeah, I'm always. I already said it to Garmy this morning. Yeah, quite biggie. Quite biggie. You know, sometimes, you know, phone o'clock is right.

Like, and it's hard. Every once in a while, he throws out a couple of winners. And we laugh and then we hang our heads and just cry, cry, cry. They do just have a having fun issue. As we know, conservatives across the board are extremely bad

and entertaining themselves. Yes. They don't know what to do. And in that way, I don't feel any sympathy for them, but it is interesting because they're obviously desperate to be entertained. That's why Trump is their choice. Right. Because to them, he's extremely entertaining.

And they don't really understand the broad aspect of why doesn't everybody get the joke that we're in the center of? And they just understand it's because the joke is involving the pain of like millions of people. And I think they want to love, and I think they really want to love gay culture, but they They want to hate gay people. Same what they love YMCA. He loves YMCA, loves the village people, but he cannot, they have to destroy queer people

while consuming the good things that they put into the world. YMCA is about having sex with men in the dark. Yeah. Yeah. That's some songs about. You know what I mean? The songs about drifters sucking each other's dicks in the back of a YMCA. It's why it's fun to stay at them.

That's literally what the song is about. And so it's a very funny I just think we can That's why I do feel like in many aspects We're only like three steps away from each other Because they do love the cultural aspect And when they meet You how many

We were just every time we go to Florida I meet how many fucking villains And every villain I meet in Florida All says like they do weirdly In their heart of hearts Believe that they don't experience hate Because when they meet trans people When they meet gay people

They like them on a one to one basis. And they also meet the crazy pro-Trump once. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so they like everything about it. They just are, they're all, um, they're really fucked up. The whole group of them needs a lobotomy. Yeah. Man. And we have been begging for lobotomies here on page seven. I am always. In fact, actually, that really is a great transition to talk about. Jackie, why don't I use the transition of the fact that you're so brave to get old visibly. Thank you. Oh, my God. Thank you so much for bringing this up because I was

going to talk about it on microphone. I was going to talk about, yes, everybody. We talked about this before the show about how we were so happy that the audience really picked up on Jackie's bravery to age natural. Yes, because I am going gray and people are starting to see it more and more because I did bring up Holden recently on a jackin, apropos of nothing, looked at me and just went gray he should talk he should fucking talk he looked me in the eyes as he said it I was like are you saying that my hair is going gray right now he shaped like a papaya he thank you you know what and thank you for bringing that up because he got upset because he was dressed as a pineapple for Halloween and he kept saying he was a swinger and I said are you dressed as a pineapple because you're shaped like a

pineapple and that hurt his feelings and I said if it makes you feel any better I'm shaped like like a kiwi. And so we're all in this together. Oh, Jackie, no. You're a strawberry, Henry. I guess I'm big up top. You are, you are a strawberry. You're a strawberry and I'm a I saw you in tights on Halloween. Oh my God, not even in tights, MJ. Those were just his gams. Can we give it up? But those were my wife's fishnets. Oh, did you have fishnets on? Yeah. Henry's Gams were unbelievable. Henry went as sexy Albert Einstein for Halloween this year. Because they already had the hair. Yes, and that's all you needed. And then you just stick out your little tongue.

Yeah, it was, I think you made a lot of people jealous in those fish nuts. You looked fantastic. Legs for days, honestly, really. Legs for days and grays for days over here. And Jackie's getting compliments for just living in the world. That's the best one. Everyone's like, I'm so proud of you for going out in public with this look. It's that, it's not even the fact, it's that they're brave.

Like, they think it's brave. Because you know what you are? That I'm too lazy and cheap to get my hair dyed. Well, you, I look at you. I do always think, God, she's brave to be out. Every time she goes places, I was like, wow. Yeah, not out of the closet, just out of the house. Look at her doing stuff. Good, good, good, good.

Look at her just going to the store like she's a person. Look at her. Without makeup on? Yeah. Thank you. No one's going to want to ram jam my sister at the Gelson's? No, nobody's begging for it. And the best is when people then will start telling Jeff that he is brave to be with you. Yes, he is. wanting to be with me, you know.

He is brave for being with Jackie. For different reasons. But it's not about her look. It's about her brain. The private Jackie, what we were saying before, I'm here. The real Jackie. That's where the bravery is. My hair, I don't know what me of Jackie.

This is a real, Jackie. My shirt is too billowy. No, I have to step in. I have to step in here like Cynthia or Reba. on the red carpet and defend my co-star, Jackie Zabraski. Thank you, MJ. I will not let you. I will not let you.

You will cannot get close to her. I am her protector and she is perfect and much like Sophia Arevo. I carry her. I speak for her. We can't actually, I think that maybe Cynthia Revo and Ariana Grande maybe have become one in a way. Until the PR tour is done. they are best friends. You think it's fake?

Whoa. Do I think any one of those people have ever experienced a real emotion? I don't know. Have you heard her sing? I don't think you can sing that way if you don't experience real emotion. Ariana, yes.

Cynthia Arrivo is an incredible artist. An untouchable artist of tantamount talent. The talent is becoming a human on stage. And on camera. Cynthia Arrivo, I'm certain, is truly, honestly, one of the biggest talents of our generation. I mean, she's breathtaking, yes.

In a room, she must be the single most terrifying human being to be within a five foot. Between her and Ariana Grande, watching those two 75-pound whips cling to each other with their little skeleton hands. It was crazy. They were like they were Selkies, you know? They scare me. And she's already on her way out. Ariana Grande is going to get a brand new best friend on the next movie. Well, no, she's going to get a brand new husband of the next movie.

She's already working on me. Yes. Spongebob's on his way out. Oh, he's already gone. He's out. He's done. Do you see that he did some bad little photo shoot? Like SpongeBob came out and did some little photo shoot where he's trying to do the, what's with the new generation of stars and all pretending like the old generation of stars didn't do everything already?

Like SpongeBob did this photo shoot where he just ripped off that. You remember that very classic Alan Cumming photo shoot? Yeah. That he did. Oh, yeah. He's in the white makeup. It's all from the, when he was doing cabaret.

Yes. And they made this, like, incredibly, like, beautiful. I forget who did. It was like Anne Geddes, because he would be in a lettuce cup. Yeah, not Edgettis, but, uh... The other guy.

Look at that baby Alan Cummings. Oh, my God. You do cabaret is just the baby. That was, like, a famous photographer. It's like, and what are most people? He's the only one. Just him.

In the hall about great food. Baby. Yeah, yeah, like giant bands. Big flower on his head. Big flower, yeah. But SpongeBob is doing this new photo shoot where he's got makeup on. He's trying to act like he's an actor or whatever. I'm looking at it.

Bro, nobody fucking cares about you, dude. You're gone already. No, he's already gone. Yeah, he has set his goodwill on fire. By, bite. It's also really crazy how desperate the headlines are because it's like Ariana Grande and Ethan Slater are going strong. They're religious.

is the real deal. That's how you know it's fake. That's how you know it's fake. Same thing with the Pam Anderson, Liam Neeson. Don't bring it up in front of us. Do not bring it up in front of us. Oh, no, no. That's real, Henry.

We read Pam Anderson's memoir, and she wouldn't lie about something like that. It was utterly fake, and she was trying. She was trying. Don't. She was trying. And even Liam Neeson was trying. And even Liam Neeson, you could see when they were. He needs love again, or he deserves love again, Henry.

He doesn't want. love. Whoa, he just wants to piss his pants. Is that what you're saying? He just wants to keep Ian peace in? Yes. I think that, to be honest, I think Liam Neeson doesn't want, I think that he doesn't want to smoke. I think you already had a wife that. Yeah. He has never got him. We all know what happened. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, we know what happened. He loved her. And even Pam Anderson with her own crazy. Maybe they had like a night. You know they had at least a night. Yeah, he's, he slopped around those knockers a little bit. But I feel like after that, but after that. Making pickles, that's what they called it.

Oh, yeah, he was getting in there. He was making all sorts of situations in her butt area. He was doing all that. Yeah, but I think that was for fun. I think then they got the PR thing, and he was like, Yes, I think maybe we could pretend to be in love with each other. Because he just seems to me the most serious man. Yeah.

I, yes, let's pretend to kiss and hug. Oh, but what if she gets taken? And I will see that movie. Maybe she needs to get taken. And then he will fall in. love with her because he can only do things about Taken anymore. Let's steal, let's steal Pamela Anderson. Yes, we'll just be like the Louvre-Robbers, man.

Did you see how hot those guys were? I loved the Louvre-Robbers. We never called the Louvre-Robbers. I thought that they brought people in for questioning. They did, but they're just French. They were hot. Yeah, they're all French. Hot, French ones.

Did you see the investigator? No. You should, oh, you guys. A child. Oh, yes. You guys should look up the, if you're talking about, if you're looking for cute boys, the investigator was a boy he's a child no he's no i mean he's the head investigator of their of their like grand larceny department and the france police department don't pay wall me new york times okay i'm looking him up oh wow wow this is like gender goals for me that's all that's all mj oh yeah very oh i saw that

oh yeah no that's a dapper boy wow acab except this guy this one detective yes please he's handsome very well that hat though what that hat do all right throw it on a flow I think it just keeps his hat you want to keep the hat on oh for the rain you don't want it to come down like gutters

he takes his hair off if he even look at his hair you're not going to like his hair oh it's no good I think it's gonna look very your entriloquist dummy in a way Ah maybe that's what we're looking for I don't even say that to MJ I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry

I don't want to have sex with the ventriloquist dummy and I'm not sure I want to have sex with this child investigation either. I think I want to just steal his look. You would look real good. Yeah, dude. Thank you. Yeah.

Have you been thrifting for a, you should drift for a trench coat? I have not, you know, I think, I'm going to say something that I hope is not insensitive. I think being in high school, when Columbine happened, has given me a difficult relationship with the trench coat. With trench. Take it back. It's perfect for New York. Yeah.

Yes. Okay. Trench coat is for New York. Also, I feel like we should be bringing that back because of the, you know, it gives like a peeping tom that we just don't see anymore. Yeah, don't you want to flash people on the subway? Yeah, I want, I want you to be. Hey.

Oh, God. But it's just your really cute, like, investigator outfit. Yeah, I'm just showing my outfit, girl, yeah. Peep my look, yeah. Yes. I was going to woo-woo. Yeah. Oh, with your woo-woo.

With the, with the, yes. Oh, are you doing? with the tiny, the Gen Z tiny thumb. Gen Z tiny thumb. Uh-woo, yeah, and then Henry says, ooh-woo. And he pretends like he knows what it is. Ooh-woo. I know it's a little Japanese guy.

Mm-hmm. So now, Henry, are you getting excited about... This is our last... This is our last page seven before Thanksgiving, because next week we are going to have page seven, but I am forcing MJ to watch. I'm sorry, not forcing. encouraging M.J. to watch Adam's family values with me for the first time. Oh, you're going to love it.

Yeah. I'm excited. And so that's... Eat me. Once we're pets by now. Yes, yes. I've heard it so many times that I feel like I know it. But yes, that is what we're going to be doing next week for page seven. So this is our inaugural Thanksgiving episode where we have to talk all things turkey with the Zabrowski family. I have to go to my wife's grandmother's memorial. He does so he won't be. And then I have to drive to Akron. and then I have to drive to Columbus. I'm actually not celebrating the holiday this year. This is the first time in many. I'm talking about decades that I have not celebrated Thanksgiving. I'm actually quite sad about it. I know, I know.

You're both sad. That's why I wanted to, that's why I wanted to bring you here. What, to talk about all the things I can't do? We are still going to have a Thanksgiving meal, and Rich is not going to be on the day. You think I know. I'm going to let you not have a full Thanksgiving. meal. You know what I like? I'll come over on a goddamn Tuesday and do it

if I have to. I'll do the whole thing myself. Please leave my home. I'm going to get in there. Let me in there. Please leave my own. Sorry, MJK. Please get out of my home. I've got to give him. He's begging for this full Thanksgiving meal. Please, you've been cooking for hours. But Henry, I was just excited, though, to talk to you

because I am going to try new things this year. This would be the year. We're having a small Thanksgiving. Always, like, because we've said this a thousand times, never try something new for Thanksgiving, unless it is a micro Thanksgiving. Yes. Because this is a time to workshop. Yes. There was a style of potato, I'll grow out of time that I was trying to make this year, that it was going to make this year.

That maybe I'll give you the-go, that you're going to make this year. I'll make it, I don't care. Yes. I'll do it at Christmas time. Yes. Do it at Christmas. I'll do it at Christmas time. But you want to make what you want to make.

What were you going to do with it, though? Yeah, tell me about the, tell me about the potatoes. I actually don't know. It was just all I saw right now was it was a video on YouTube that says the potato side dish. No one will leave alone this year. Wait, the one on the New York Times one? Yes, yes, yes, yes. The failing New York Times.

It's like the Hasselback potato version of potato O'Grathen, and that is the one that I was going to make. Oh, my God. We're synced up. Oh, my God, our periods. Our Thanksgiving cycles. It's our cranberry flavored periods. Yes, it's the juice that comes out of our booze. Yum, yum, yum, yum.

I'm making gravy out my hole. Yay. I've got a pussy made of turkey. Oh, no. My turkey pussy. I guess congratulations, Natalie. It's not let's eat meat. I got that tosy.

Now, do you agree with Martha Stewart, who says that the ideal, you know, this is Martha Stewart's week. It's Martha Stewart's world. It's living in it. The ideal time to eat Thanksgiving dinner is 2 p. Henry, yeah, you're nay. That is, yeah, when you have your staff of slaves cooking your dinner at fucking 4 o'clock in the goddamn morning, and then your slaves can go and set the table for you, and your

slaves can set up all the house and do it all the kind of stuff. Yeah, sure. You're right. No, Thanksgiving dinner, you know when the perfect time when it happens? When it's done, when it's all done, when the dinner is done, and people are there. Yeah, and everyone is there. That's when the food's done. Also, I feel like Martha Stewart is not in the camp that, like, a Holden and I are where we start drinking at 5.30 a.m.

You're at Thanksgiving morning, which yes, you join us. You don't think she does? This is what I'm saying. You think Martha Stewart's up and drinking? Yeah. She has staff that is doing everything. And also, there are people, though, because we just aren't like that. We're just, there are people that are very much invite-based that are doing really, really, really, really fancy stuff.

Like, if I had hired, like, let's say ever did a thing where you had a private chef do something, that's something I could understand where you have like a set time that people come and do something. Like, you know, just because there's a schedule and sort of that's the event of the night, whatever, or if you were presenting a very ornate dinner meal towards people. But for me, Thanksgiving's about the entire day. So to me, Thanksgiving's not really about the dinner. It's about the process of cooking the dinner. And then when people arrive, it's about like.

the hors d'oe kind of hanging, everyone's kind of snacking and stuff. And then, you know, like, to me, there is a, but also we do an informal Thanksgiving. Totally. But don't you work back, don't you start with a turkey time and work backwards? Because that's how I begin every day. You start the target time. I usually go 4 p.m. And then I work backwards from, okay, so that's what everything has to come out of the oven,

30 minutes earlier, an hour early. But again, unless you're Martha Goddamn Stewart who's got four stoves, it's going to take some time and you've got to think about it because you know that turkey is going to take the majority of the stove and the majority of the amount of time. You're still going to need to. But the turkey can also sit. This is my show. My show I burp.

This is my show. This is my show. On my show I burp. Oh, well, you know what? Let it fly, Henry. You know, but turkey could sit. You could carve the turkey and cover the turkey. can even sit for a little bit, because turkey, to me, doesn't need to be hot as much as it

needs to be warm. Yes. Yeah. Yes. You're right. And you're also going to be slopping a bunch of other hot stuff on top of it, too. So I feel like it kind of warms it up. And in most cases, people have no idea how to properly cook a turkey.

So normally, the turkey is sometimes the worst part of the meal, unfortunately, because it's the thing that people whack in and kind of forget. I just want to be a turkey messiah for people. Same. I want to just shepherd people through a turkey, all right? Turkey first. It doesn't have to be dry. No, think about the turkey first and most.

If you are in charge of the center entreaties. This is how Henry and I speak to each other as we get ready for Thanksgiving. I know, you're a dream team. It is a sole responsibility. Yeah. The turkeys, you cannot be doing the turkey and a salad and a sign. And yet we do every year, Henry. Well, it's because we sacrifice.

Oh, sacrifice. And every day I sacrifice. Well, Henry, you're just having a bit of a Valerie Bertinelli Thanksgiving because she has a grown child who I was today years old when I realized that Valerie Bertnelly was married to and had a child with Eddie Van Halen. Eddie Van Halen. Yes. And put that together.

Is that from Freaks and Beaks? Valerie Bertnelly? Valerie Bertnelly is, was like a. like she was like a soap star yeah and like beach not like what is her like biggest claim to fame she was everything I'm looking at I'm looking at it's not doing it justice like why do I know her I feel like I know her from like hallmark shit I know that she's

been in a million but what about her Thanksgiving she's just doing it alone with a jack follow jack one day at a time I never watch that's nine years one day at a time is it one day one two golden globe for it. Oh yeah, that's just a big old, big old soap. I don't know. Yeah. I don't think I never really... I know that they still have morning soaps. Yeah, they do. And I think they do. Yeah. I would love to have a world. I feel like there's something that we all missed because I think a lot of us had a parent, most likely a mother, that at some

point in the day watched, like our mother had as a world and as a world turns. And I remember watching those. And I remember always thinking at some point in my life, a transition into adulthood is when you start watching soap operas. You have to choose. You choose one. But I think now you guys have your, you have your fairy fuck books. We do have our fairy fuck books. And you have another thing, because I think that's kind of what it was, is that it add a spice of midday sexuality to the stay at home mothers. Especially if you're watching like a passions. Oh my God. That's the one I would have chosen if I had to choose. I think that's what that was about. It was that that's way more adding a spice of sensuality, and now

they're adding their spice of sensuality with a book. With book, or taking ketamine and blowing the UPS guy. Wow, yeah. Well, it depends on what order you go in. I think you blow the UPS guy and then you go in for the ketamine. Housewives are on way crazier drugs than they were when we were. If you want to talk about

housewives, I'll talk about housewives all fucking day. Natalie will enter the housewives world with me. It is so sad. Real Housewives of Salt Lake City can't recommend it enough. I need a I need a new dumb show to watch. Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, Henry.

I know, but I'm afraid it's just going to make me angry. I know it's going to make Natalie angry. Natalie can't watch it. Wait, there's a new physical 100 Asia. Are they all Asia? No, didn't you, wait, did you see the original physical 100? No, I think if it, that one was Asia. That wasn't specific.

It was Korea. Different countries competing against. It's almost like like an Olympic title where it's like someone told me like, you're gonna love team Mongolia and I was like okay yeah yeah so I guess it's it's it's larger and that is something I could definitely because you

got into physical 100 right did I like the first one but then it kind of got boring it does get a little repetitive with the way that it is I don't like the way that it's edited it kind of makes me a little like it's a little boring and I was watching it because I love men fighting I do love men fighting and I love cross I like when they fight and it's like

fun new things I don't like what they did with the stupid squid game reality show. It sucks. Now, I have a question for you guys as Italians. I have a question about... Whoa. Henry never gets asked as an Italian, only ever as a Polish. So let's see what you can have to sell a half. Yeah. Is it bad that I think I knew Valerie Bertendelli wasn't Annette Fudicello, but I also think that I kind of merged them. Similar. I could say because in that Fulichello, I know very well. I knew, I'm like, don't say Valerie Burtnelly is a beach movie actress.

She's not. She's not a beach and I was wearing. And I was wrong. I just name that because every time I look at Valerie Bertelli, I'm like, you're not the beach woman. You're not the beach woman. But I didn't realize, because I know her from Food Network because she's very active on Food Network. Oh, now I know exactly who I know. Yes.

Now it's connected. That's where I know her from Food Network. I'm glad she spends Thanksgiving alone. No, she doesn't spend alone. No, she spends it alone. Is that with the whole point of it? No, she's not. She's alone.

She loves it. That's what she said. If her a Bert and Ellie Thanksgiving is just sitting alone. Fuck you. Just her just smoking a cigar. I'm having a Bert Nelly Thanksgiving. Eat a bottle of gray goose. A pack of Triton and my vibrators.

No, she, her son is grown and in a band. And she apparently just travels with him, which is an interesting choice. As a, I mean. All right, that's a fucking whole mommy issue. That is a, no. They spend Thanksgivings oftentimes at like a chain restaurant. and then it's kind of fun and cute because they have like a chain restaurant

Thanksgiving. Leave me alone. I'm a rock star. Get the fuck away from me, mom. No, he loves it. You're Valerie Bertnelly. Sure, mom. But I can't bang you.

I mean, at this point, though, Wolfgang Van Halen is 34 years old. So hopefully he's at a point. Oh, this actually explains quite a bit. Why? That his name is Wolfgang Van Halen? Well, number one, what I've loved about Wolfgang Van Halen is that, again, brave, because he's fat.

Oh, brave and also sexy. It's, you know, it's scary for those of us out there. He's brave because he allows himself to be fat, which is one of the nicest things I've seen. He's a mammoth, by the way, for those that are curious. He's a normal-sized person. I was like, oh, he's dead. I was so confused, Jackie. I was like, wow.

Wow. Jackie unleashed by quiet piggy. Wow. Holy fucking shit. The band's name is Madden. We start up with Quiet Piggy and we end with He's Maddened. He is

in a band called Samanour. Called Madden. He seems like And I'm going to say this also again in a nicest way possible. But sadly because of the way he approaches his life, he does also seem kind of like a mama's boy.

Yeah. I mean, obviously, yeah. Which is like the very, I mean, like, it's just your father's Eddie Van Halen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I know that you can't do the same thing. His father's, his inches, his fucking, his father's hands were seven inches across. Wow. His father's hands were so huge.

That's how he created the signature Van Halen sound. Because his hands were so big? His son had to learn to stretch his fingers to try to play like his father. And his father, Eddie Van Halen, probably arguably one of the most talented guitarists in music history also was happily married to Valerie Bertnelly for a very long time. Famously, wasn't super into the groupie thing. Really? Really? But still, how do you think he got a Valerie Burton Alley?

I fucking screwing every piece of music came rolling under the door. And I think Wolfgang needs to hear that. Yeah. Being like, you're not going to find your own mommy unless you don't have your old mommy with you. Oh, don't worry. Wolfgang has got a mommy of his own. Oh, Wolfgang, a wife? Oh, yeah, he's got a wife.

She cute. Really? Let me see. Andrea. Oh, she is cute. She is so cute. Yeah, no, they're very cute. How brave is she?

You know, brave. Brave. How brave is she to allow that to happen? I don't think she'd go gray. I don't know if she's that brave. No, no, that's a thing that only shriveled up wenches do. It's the only thing I would say... Old, fucking crooked crones.

Yeah, crooked crows. That's what I view. When I see a woman with gray hair, that's what I think. I think a crone, I think a bed-backed crows that curses me. You better watch out, I'm about to thinner your ass. Please. And you're going to thinner into dust. But it is funny that when you look at the pictures of him and his wife and his mom,

if you look from a little further away you can't tell which one's the wife and which one's the mom. He's got a type for sure and the type is mommy but I'm happy for him they're actually very cute I'm extremely charmed I'm looking at a people article. I love them and all joking aside I love

them because I like Wolfgang because he seems like a really cool guy but it's just it's so hard when your father's at Evan Halen it's extremely hard because I think he's really good yeah he's just not inventing sounds right but also if he was trying to wouldn't we all be like bro give it up you're not Eddie manhaling like maybe you'll get to a place that maybe you could get there at some point

but you know he doesn't need to I mean he's in multiple bands so it seems like he's doing pretty good you know Wilfgang's awesome and he's having Thanksgiving with his mom every year and I don't know why at a chain restaurant unless like some of us who would have nothing I'm going to spend Thanksgiving at a grave so there you're going to be at a grave and there's not, they're not going to have any turkey. There's going to be, they're bringing in with us to the cemetery. You're going to schlep it all with you. Yes, that's what we said in hot plates.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, good. I'm going to make a soup on a hot pan out by the, there is a whole Holocaust section of the cemetery. Oh, you could roast the whole pig. No, no, no, no, no. You have the space for it. No, they said keep it kosher. I have to make all the milk base stuff out on the street.

Okay, okay. I have to do that on the sidewalk. We'll get separate plates. But no, we're going to do something, I think. I think we're going to Bojangles. Yeah, see, that's the, I do think there was like, there was a Christmas where my family did like a kind of like a chain restaurant Christmas. And even though it was such a, it was because there was just a lot going on that year, but because it was such a break from tradition for us as kids, we were like, fuck yeah, like an Applebee's Christmas, you know, and we thought it was awesome.

It was some of my favorite. I always remember that. There was something that we did. I forgot what we fucked up. There was some holiday we fucked up. And dad had to go get instead. He went and got two buckets of KFC, the old school KFC. I remember, like, all of us just being like,

this is better sick. Well, because we never got anything like that. So it's like, that was like a big thing for us. And so they're all like, we could just do this all the time. Whoa. I could just go to the fast food place. I could save so much money and I could just get you guys. Oh, so much time.

And the children were so happy. We couldn't care less. As a matter of fact, I hate the good food. At that point, at that age, I hate the food food. We were talking about this last week. so many people wrote in because we were just like, what age did you start liking Thanksgiving? Ooh, wow, that's a very funny question

because as a kid, I always liked mashed potatoes. Right. It's funny because a lot of people have said this that they were like, I did love Thanksgiving, but it was because that was the only day that my parents wouldn't yell at me if I only ate rolls and mashed potatoes. Yes, it was like the only thing because I remember

because God love our beautiful mother. She's not super great at the turkey. she never really was I think it's part of the reason why I got so obsessed with trying to perfect this explains a lot actually the millennial we also I do agree there's certain millennial traits

that I don't agree with the idea of generational traits necessarily but there is one millennial trait that I was reading about that is true we are the the generation that went crazy about teaching ourselves how to properly cook things the zoomers don't

they don't go about a fuck about food other people. Millennials became the Gormand generation. We're the foodie generation. Like, Zoomers don't have foodies. Yeah. Yeah. And also Gen X was too, I think, busy and upset about other things

that they didn't give in. We had innocent social media. We had the advent of the quote-unquote innocent social media rise, which involved just pictures of our lunches. Do you remember like that whole time period? Yeah. That's all social media was for. And now we desperately wish it went back to

days when it was just normal but that's kind of where it started yeah with us taking pictures of our food yeah and like obnoxious yet like we were like annoyed by yet like intrigued by like New York Times cooking where it's like what do you mean you can make a delicious pasta with five fucking ingredients right try it you know and then we were driven by it we were driven we got we took it on as an interest the rise of the food network like of that whole that whole right took place within our generation god and I loved every second of it we did All three of us here love the Food Network. Well, we were beta testers.

Yeah. I mean, watching that Paula Dean at 1 o'clock in the morning. Everything. Malto Mario. Oh, yeah. Rachel Ray. How many of them are canceled? Oh, yeah.

Let's bring up Mario Battaglia in this space, Henry. Maltomario was the single best, the single best cooking show to ever exist almost. He used to teach you all about the, he used to put the context of it. They should have just taken his hands away, you know. That's what you need to do. If you just talked, if you took one of his Italian sashes and it just tied his hands together, then nothing would have happened. Because then, like, can you assault someone with just your belly? I don't know.

Yeah, man, Pauline, too. I'm sure he wouldn't try. I forgot about that saga. Oh, that's, that's one of those that, I mean, I don't know if. No one should have looked under the hood of Paula Dine. Yeah. I remember one time I was in, right after COVID, after COVID, the first weekend out, I went to Nashville. and we were doing a show out in Grundy County

and I was at with our manager we were at some singer-songwriter show it was like the first time out I was like I'm very nervous and I look and there's a crowd that is built around the lower level around the top level there's a crowd built around a person

and I saw it was a group of people crowding around Paul Adine and they were all just taking pictures doing all the stuff and I was just like 10 years ago I would have been right there with you.

Oh, yeah. 10 years ago, I'd try to go home with that woman. That really shows the two Americas, you know, one America where Paula Dian is alive and well and doing great. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Some people are out there that still want to take pictures with her. Yeah. It was like when O.J. came into the bar where we were going to do, uh, Natalie and I got

married the night before OJ. Oh, my God, that's right. That's right. And I looked up the Instagram of the bar. That's how I found out. I looked up the Instagram of the bar that we were, like the hotel, very fancy hotel that We were staying in the Clearwater area. And the first thing that popped up was a picture of a very beautiful blonde woman taking a picture with O.J. Simpson at the hotel bar.

And so then we went, we were there. And I was just like, I didn't even tell Natalie until we left. For the best. Because only just because there was a part of me that it was like, OJ is here. If OJ. Simpson walks into the hotel in which I need to consummate my marriage. I have to walk, I have to constantly my marriage tonight. O.J. Simpson walks in here. I'm going to

end up taking an ironic picture. It's going to ruin your wedding. Yeah, it's going to ruin your wedding and your career. I'm going to be put into a situation in which the ironic part of me will be unable to be controlled. You're just like shaking. I can't do it.

All of 2012 sitting inside of me just going, that's the best thing I can possibly that's the funniest single. That's the funniest single picture you could take Henry. That's the funniest thing that you can do. Wouldn't that be super funny if you did it, Henry, super funny? Yeah. The ironic devil on your shoulder would destroy you in the rest of your life. I just, if we were, if I was sitting at a bar with my husband and he just leaned over and whispered OJ's here, I would, I don't know what I would do. I would not believe him. OJ's here. I definitely watch and be like, is he going to get into a Bronco? Like, I feel like I would be looking on the outside for it. But. And I would find that to be. defensive because he switched to Chevy. You know what? Thank you. I'm glad that we all know it now. He's off the Broncos. And can we stop associating them with him by now? Andrew Cuomo's got the white Bronco, which he keeps insisting

is not the same Bronco as O.J. And that was an interesting campaign message. I'm going to miss him. I'm going to miss him too. I was telling MJ about Bloomberg the rat over on Vampire the masquerade and how, and I was like that the work with Bloomberg the rat and MJ did say, oh, it's the only good thing Bloomberg ever did. Yeah. Which is when you threw the rat. Oh, yeah, that was great. Yeah, Vampire the Masquerade.

Check it out. Vampire, Blat, Blabat, YouTube.com slash at LPN TV every Wednesday. I never got to throw the rat. You didn't get to throw the rat. You wanted to throw the rat. Yes. I'm sorry. And Jared, talk me down.

You know, that's what a good storyteller is supposed to do. do, but a good co-host is supposed to transition us into the list. Oh, who's on the list? Jackie! Got to have that list! Old Hollywood publicity stunts that were so wild

they make today's studios look like Child's play. No, Liam Neeson and Pam Anderson lied and it's bigger than anything that could have happened. You're right, it is bigger than anything that could have happened during Tarzan of the apes. That's right, Harry Reichenbach, was one of the most

notorious press agents in the early days of Hollywood. To promote the 1818 film Tarzan of the Apes, he had an orangutan styled like a movie star in a glamorous evening gown and silk hat. The primate was brought to the lobby of the Knickerbocker Hotel. Oh, no. It's just a monkey in a hat. It's actually really not that in price.

So you think it's just a monkey in a hat. It is. Until the ideas get even wilder because for 1920s, the Revenge of Tarzan, posing as a musician named T.R. Zan, second back checked himself into the Hotel Belclair in NYC, claiming you wanted to put a Steinway piano in his room, he got a team of bellhops to help carry up a massive wooden crate. A short time later, he called room service with a strange request. 15 pounds of raw steak be brought to his room

and befuddled the hotel manager called back to double check that they'd hurt correctly. After receiving confirmation, the manager accompanied the server with a stake in the room they discovered not a grand piano, but a 450-pound lion. He went from monkey to lion. And I say, was that lion wearing a hat? So stupid. It's a stupid move. Harry, Reckenbach.

I want to read his memoir. The return to Tarzan is like a forgettable film. I think it's funny because not only was that forgettable, but nobody saw the lion inside of the hotel. Yeah, it's not a publicity stunt. I feel like it's different. You could just tell people you did it. But don't worry.

In 1920, Reichenbach also planned to have. have actor Clara Kimball Young kidnapped and held for ransom by Mexican bandits until she was rescued by eight blonde cavalry men. He said, I went abroad for the criminal. What is this? What is this? I spent $8,300 of my own money and got shot up with shrapnel. I couldn't get my money back, so I tried to get back in the trade. I got the insurance that President Wilson would back me in this little bandit raid, so he went to the president to see if he could kidnap the star of the movie by paid Mexican bandits

and that he even said Clara Kimball Young wouldn't even know what happened. Liam Neeson lied to us. You're right. And he lied to us about that kissing. Liam Neeson lied to us about their private kissing. And think about what we could have

had and it is a little bit like Bougonia, which also, have you seen Bougonia yet? I have not seen Bougonia. 68 years before Bougonia hosted a free early screening for people willing to shave their heads I don't know if you saw that the people were shaving their heads for Bologna

Yes, it was fine I would say maybe you don't need to do that Just go see the movie I saw Frankenstein Did you shave your head? No No, you didn't But Frankenstein was really good though right

Yeah, it's good Wait, not into a Lord A? That was fine I thought Jacob B'Lordi did a very good job Very tall Why are you just going? That was fine Thought it was too long

That was fun Thought it was boring Not excited enough Henry Yeah I feel like this is That's how it felt. Okay, just that. I thought it was very pretty. It's beautiful movie.

I think Jacob Lorde is very tall. He is very tall, but I thought that he really got the sensitivity of the monster. Just like that. I'm feeling it. Yeah, we're all feeling it right now. That's how I feel when you read the list. I'm going to do the Jacob Allorty, it's when he's happy when it's first snowing. That was my favorite.

It's the, that's not the sound that he made. He didn't sound like that. He comes out of the big season's snowing. He does, he comes out, the snow's falling, he says, going, oh, oh, go, oh, oh, oh, and honestly, biggest problem with the movie, he never once says fire bad. Oh, that is a shame. That is all he's, that is all break a sign. No, it's because they were working on humanity.

It's because, oh, my God. And obviously, he knew the fire was bad because the whole building was on fire and he knew it was bad. He did, but it's fine. It's no Phil Hartman. That's all we're saying. No Phil Hartman. Remember Phil Hartman playing Frankenstein in a sketch with...

So good hair. Fire bad. Oh, that's right. Higher bad. Yes. Well, to promote the 1947 rom-com, the egg and I, press agent Jim Moran went to the Los Angeles ostrich farm and, with the memoir the movie was based on in hand, sat on an abandoned ostrich egg until it hatched 19 days, four hours.

hours and 32 minutes later. Again, none of these are given that, like, exciting. They're more like, it's just kind of stupid. He reportedly squatted in a specially designed wheelchair during the day and slept in the ostrich corral at night. It's called a massive waste of time. Of course it is nobody seeing it. It's not like it's going viral on X.

But it's funny. It's Twitter, Jack. It's Twitter. It's not, let's, it's, I hear you call it. It was Twitter. It was Twitter, you're right. It was Twitter, though. They were tweeting on that.

Come on. But this is when Twitter, this is Twitter, like the impulses that shows that they've always been there. Yeah. We've always had these impulses to do something fun and ridiculous. It just used to be like, it's just harder to do it. I actually feel like in many ways now you can do, there's more freedoms. You can kidnap women for commercials every day. Yeah.

And God bless how a freedom to do it. I'll kidnap you, Jacob Allorty. I don't care how tall you are. But what if they're more? More than just bombed ass, then good. Yes, yeah, you're doing a good job, Henry. That in the Ten Commandments, director Cecil B. DeMille's publicity stunt still has political implications today. In 1956, he learned that the Fraternal Order of Eagles was passing out copies of the Ten Commandments as a measure against juvenile delinquency.

So, he convinced them to donate large stone tablets bearing the Ten Commandments to be displayed out. government buildings and in public parks nationwide. And so anytime you do see any kind of Ten Commandments being labeled on a government building, this is because of Cecil B. DeMille trying to promote the movie The Ten Commandments. I'm looking up the Fraternal Order of the Eagles right now to figure out how. No, it's a Christian organization. Okay, I'm like, what's weird? What's bad about them?

It's not actual Eagles. Yeah. Not Eagles. Jackie's making it a little bit more excited. than a lot. Wait, I thought that it was a bunch of birds and all the birds were like do it. Well, the birds believe in Christ as they should. They believe

in the power and the redemptive edge of Christ. Because if not, I'm going to pry open those beaks and I'm going to spew that Christ right down their little mouths. That's what I'm always doing. Cover them in Christ. Yeah. I want to pin a seagel down. I want to cover its lower belly

with my piles of Christ. coming on some eggs. I'm sorry, it just makes me think of the Buffy episode where was the the whole episode ended up being the predator teacher that was trying to sleep with the students wasn't actually a woman

predator. She was actually a praying mantis. Trying to get these boys to come in on her eggs. It's like allegorical. It is allegorical. It's allegorical. You're right. It is allegorical. We just kept saying, we're coming on some eggs. We're coming on

And now in 1958, allied artists promoted the horror movie macabre. Oh, we're still doing it with this more of these? Yeah, one more with this chilling advertisement. The producers of the film Macab undertake to pay the sum of $1,000 in the event of the death by fright of any member of the audience during the performance. And they really meant every word. Before taking their seats in the theater, moviegoers had to sign a thousand dollar life insurance policies.

To really sell it, the theaters also had nurses and hurses. on standby. Liam Mason said that he and Pam Anderson kissed in private, and that was a lie. He was telling the truth. I don't think that's true. It's a lie. They had to try and see if the love was really there. It wasn't. And then they lied

to us. Okay, so that is still the most surprising and unbelievable PR stunt I have ever seen besides Cynthia Irvo. and Ariana Grande joining together at the wrist bones. Well, I'll- They are shackled to each other, thank you very much. They just grip each other's hands. Like, they're both like little like capuchines.

I just want to throw it out there that that last idea did come in from famed William Castle who did a lot of fun PR stunts, but I will say funny because William Castle was very upset that nobody bothered to die. And I like that quote. Yeah. Liam Neeson and Pam Anderson orchestrated

a fake separate life. She is a farmer now, Henry. You don't understand what she does. Really? She's not a farmer. She has a staff. No, she pickles the peppers herself. It's the easiest part.

You know what else is the easiest part? Not seeing. I think I'm going. Blind! Items. Ah, we can't see them. Help me! Where are they?

Actually, I think... They're here, Henry. They're here. Help me. They're right here, Henry. Thank God. a good old helping a 41-year-old man on this episode. I think that...

Good old steaming helpin of it. You're going to know, you're going to definitely know these answers. Maybe, MJ? I crushed this the last time. You did. And I did try to pick items with you in mind, Henry. So, you know, this is an accommodation trying to choose things that you might know. M.J. crippled themselves for you.

And I want you to know this. Fire bad. Fire bad. Fire bad. And also, I don't think it's easier to not see for the record. I think it's probably very hard because the world is built for able-bodied people, and that's why it would be hard. If I was blind, I'd probably throw myself off a bridge.

But if I was, if I could hear, if I could be deaf, I'd be fine. Interesting. Okay, I'm going to leave that there while I go into blind item number one. I'm sure he's unpacked. Don't worry, MJ. I'm sure he's really thought about this. This is like a conversation, eight-year-olds have, you know? Like, so I'm just going to leave out.

Oh, I'd much rather be deaf. Oh, be a deaf. That's easy street. That's like I was trying to come up with a starter. Like, would you rather question with middle schoolers yesterday? And one of them was like, would you rather jump off a bridge or jump off a bridge and die? And it was like, what is the distinction here? Yeah. So anyway, that's what. One you die and one you don't. When you get to experience a thrill of jumping off a brick. Right, right. Go bungee jumping. It's way more preferable to not die. All right. Blind item number one. This really bad actress from an entertainment family has been hiding some assets until after her divorce is finalized.

Okay. This is somebody who we talk about with some frequency, Jackie. It's definitely someone you'll know, Henry. Drew Barrymore. You're in the right age group. This person was Kelly Clarkson. She's not a netbo. We're looking for people in family baby. It's Joe Businessman. That is true. Show business family, big time Nepo. And I do want to highlight both that the phrase,

this really bad actress, is funny but also accurate. This is not somebody who's famous for her acting. And I don't know when the last time she did act. Paris Hilton. No, she's hiding from assets in this divorce because this divorce has been going on for like ever. They've got a lot of kids. They had a reality show about that.

Angelina Jolie. Nope. No reality. If that's an A-lister... Jessica Simpson. Nope. You're going... Jessica Simpson comes from a family?

Too successful. I was just thinking around. D-list, C-list. Like, low down in the status. They had a reality show about themselves, like, a long time ago. Like, there was subway ads when you guys both lived here for this show. Kelly Osborne. Getting closer.

She has a podcast. She just had hilarious on her podcast. She's a real wild card, this lady. her dad was a big time producer everybody loved him he made all the best shows but she is crazy oh oh it is um tony uh what's her name from it's uh from 90210 no tori spelling correct wow had we got there first not that it's a contest yeah but i was making the sounds everything's a win or lose but i was making the sounds and everybody knows if the sounds meant that i knew what it was i just couldn't think of her name so i got it no i got it All right. Now, these next two, these next two are interesting. Usually a blind has either no answer or one correct answer. The next two have two answers that could be possible. And we don't know which is correct. So you guys, we get to decide.

Okay. Blind number two. This A-list actor from an acting family was found by housekeeping in a position in which he had remained overnight. For whatever reason, he had tried to insert his manhood into the bottle opener attached to the sink in the bathroom and remained stuck there. Ed Larson. Those are the two choices. Yeah, exactly what's between. Did you write this one? Yeah, okay. He put his manhood in the bottle opener attached to the sink of the bathroom and remained stuck there until maintenance came and removed the bottle opener.

and our actor was able to remove himself from it. Wow. Two possible choices. A list actor from an acting family. Both of these people, both of these potential people, I'm going to say, their fathers were more beloved actors than they are. Uh-huh. Patrick Schwarzenegger. Ooh.

Good choice. Good guests, but too young. Robert Downey Jr. No. One of these actors, that's about the right. age, though, one of these actors steeped in controversy, like perhaps the most controversial actor in Hollywood.

John Ben. Different type of controversy. Um, I love this. I just like, I love thinking, like, what kind of piece of garbage? I like, yeah, same. Yeah.

I like doing this with both of you, actually. It's very fun. So, yeah. Yeah, really good, beloved dad, bad son, lots of drugs. Donald Sutherland. Yes. Kiefer Sutherland. That's the better of the two young men that you're choosing from.

He is one of them. Okay, he's one of them. One of the choices. The other choices, even worse. I don't even know if Kiefer is a bad, bad man. He's a complicated man. Complicated man. This guy is a pretty unequivocally bad man.

There was just a documentary that came out about him. Oh, Charlie Sheen. Yes. uh who did we nailed that shit you killed that you're really good at the seven charlie she and one's very interesting because he's now in his fourth revamp because he had a revamp because you remember he did he did childhood acting then he went to rehab came back out became did platoon and all of the then he became like that star before hot shots and all that he was kind of bad boy he was eyes ha ha Hollywood bad boy

but you remember before two and a half men he had the fall from grace re-up again oh yeah then he had then he did the two and a half men sequence of his life and he didn't learn and he didn't grow he didn't have to learn he didn't fucking change no he doesn't have to learn he's been fine the entire time and and it wasn't until later that he because he's he keeps just changing the plot I kind of love the fact that now he's just gay that he's dating a man he's like with a man and he's living this other like he's like living some like very nice life like this quiet life with some like rando, some civilian. Now you're making me think I should watch the doc.

Jackie and I boss opted out of the doc. The only thing is that he is in charge of the dock. Yeah, yeah, of course. I feel like, though. Understand that it's a, it's a prior rehab. Yes. But he's done it many times. He's just done it.

It's just more just like, that's kind of just what Charlie Sheen does. That's the operation of his, like, you know, everybody's career has like kind of like machinations how like rapper downy junior he gave his life over to his wife same thing with gary oldman both essentially just gave their lives to their wives to run it from minute the second they wake up to the moment they go to sleep because they need to be guarded like because natalie worked with gary oldman and she's like gary oldman nicest man you'd ever imagine his wife though literally has to do every single thing for him he doesn't know how to order a coffee he doesn't know how to do.

He doesn't know how to do anything. She just helps him do a lot of stuff and he just gets to be Gary Oldman. Yeah, that sounds nice. And all he has to do is not drink anymore. And he's really good at being Gary Oldman though. But that's the thing. But everybody, same thing with Robert Downey Jr.

Everybody knows the only thing that those two guys cannot do ever again is taking a single drop of alcohol. Yeah. Because the second they do, then we're going to have to begin what Charlie Sheen's doing. Because this is coming out of a lot of money out of Charlie Sheen's pocket. In order for Robert Downey Jr. to rebuild after this, he'll have to win the presidency.

You know what I mean? Like, that's the thing. That's the only, that's where we're seeing. They're all going to start seeing this pattern now of the only way to truly get yourself out of trouble is to become president. Well, wait. Who do you think put their wiener in the bottle opener, Charlie Sheen or Kiefer Sutherland? Keeferland. You think so?

Wow, you think it's Kiefer? Yeah, I think he's a little bit more curious than that way. Just to try it out. Just to see, it's got to be so annoying to be trapped by your dick onto something. I'm going to throw that out there. Yeah, that does sound hard. Henry, any guidance? Have you ever had your dick trapped in something?

I look for big holes. And I use my hands if I have to. Yeah, yeah. I don't use things outside of my parameter. So it's like throwing a hot dog down a tunnel. Is that what you mean? Remember what boys would say that all the time? It's like throwing a hot dog down a tunnel.

Boys are mean. Boys. Oh. Also, it's like, I would love to hear how you think it feels. Like, I want to hear, it's like, oh, throwing a hot dog down the tunnel, is it? I'd love to hear about how little your penis is. You just triggered yourself. Yeah.

The thing no one said. You said it to yourself and then you triggered yourself. I just triggered myself about a time period when that was something that was said often. I remember. But now, thankfully, those time periods are over and we are. Thank you. Yes, we are healed. Okay, blind number three.

This, okay, this is another one with two options. This offspring of two permanent A-listers is asking mid-five figures for concert bookings. She is out of her mind. I don't expect you to know the child's name for one of these sets, one of these possibilities. The other one is a famous enough child that you will know the name. But who do you think the parent, the A-plus or A-list, couples whose children, adult children, are trying to perform and ask him too much money. Tom Hanks.

I would say either there's the Chet Hanks. There's the Chet Hanks. The Tom Hanks, Rita Wilson. I would also put a J.J. Abram. What's his names? And his wife. I don't know his wife's name, though. I don't know if she's A-List or whatever.

All right. So we're talking. Gracie Abrams. I know Gracie Abrams. I know, doesn't Judd Apatow have a Nepal baby daughter? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, she's been acting. She's super not talented. Well, I mean, she's acting.

Which one of them is not good? Most of them are not good. So you're on the right track. I would say that both of these, the children, one of them, again, I've never heard of, but also this is, hint, this is not my realm of things that I follow or listen to. It is a different genre than I. Oh, no. Is it a sport?

It's not a sport. It's not a sport. It's not a sport. It's not rap. It's a different genre of music. that I don't listen to in the... Country.

Exactly. So one of them is two famous country people. I could name three country people. One of them is Keith Urban. The other are these two people. Okay. Trisha Yearwood and...

No, Faith Hill and... Faith Hill and... Oh, God, what's the one? That's not Keith Urban, but in my brain is Keith Urban. Exactly. The other one. Keith Sweat.

Keith Sweat. No, what's his name? What's his name? This is like, you've now found a very particularly area that where Jackie and I are both completely uneducated. Yeah, I know things. I don't know a lot about A-List country people. Tim something. Yes. Tim McGraw? Yes. I love doing

this with both of you. Yes. So apparently one possibility is Audrey McGraw. Forgive me, guys. If she's great, I'm so sorry I talk shit. I don't know about her. Couldn't hear less. Yeah, she is the child of Faith Hill and Tim McGrath. And she might be asking for more money. She is, according to this blind, out of her mind, for asking for them on money. So if nobody knows who the hell you are, that's a lot of money.

$500,000 is quite a bit of money. Now, there is one other possibility. This is a Nepo. Ooh, we love to hate her mom so much. They are not hurt. The mom and the dad are not together anymore famously. He just started dating somebody else, annoyingly. He's annoying.

She's the worst. She's like our number one bitch over here. Wait, so are we talking about Ireland? Uh, no, no. but um no uh similarly celebrity name she oh is she like ireland Baldwin like in that same kind of a similar like oh your name is that um but her is it a are we talking about a is this uh what's her name apple yes henry oh paltro wow wow how did you pull that out of nowhere There is something that

What I'm in my head of like She I was just like I was trying to Name in my head Who's most useless Yes Yeah yeah yeah yeah I get that I understand Who's most useless As a human being that could go and ask

For money yes That is and that term Someone has never done anything before Note somebody who's finally been like All right I'm ready to make money now It's me Apple Paltrow I was trying to wait to make money.

But now I know I'm going to make some money. MJ and I read the like the Gwyneth Paltrow memoir or two and it's just, oh my God, oh my God. Honestly, I don't, I'm not even like anti-Gwyneth Paltrow in a way because I do understand that acting number truly show business is a fucking miserable existence. Yes, yes. It is changed quite a bit. It is really hard, especially for a woman of a certain age, right? I actually... We're talking about...

We're talking about I'm brave. I'm brave. I'm brave for going brave. It's really nice that you allow others to experience the bravery of unassistedly just dying out loud. Thank you. And it's just so nice that you can die so visibly and so slow. Actively, yeah. For them. Yeah.

What was I saying? Women actresses get old and nobody likes it. Gwyneth Paltrow made this switch. She's making that money. and I do understand it. Women like keeping Jade Pussies. Jade through eggs in their pussies or some reason. Her go go goop kitchen is horrible.

Horrible. Do not go to Goop kitchen. I can't even believe you perj. I refuse to. Goop kitchen is this like ghost kitchen that's in L.A. That is Goop's ghost kitchen. But I get it and I don't mind it. But the problem is that Apple Paltrow, again,

whatever keeps these children out of politics, I'm fine with. whatever keeps them out of the general. I mean, I do feel like in some ways, like, you know, I look at, this is where I get my soap box, but I look at like the Obama daughters. And I'm like, what I kind of view it as like a waste in a way. I'm being like, you should be kind of, I hope, I wish there one of you could take on the. Malia dropped the Obama, thank you very much. You want them to go into politics?

Yeah, to go make Netflix shows. I'm saying it's one of those where it's one of those where he kind of hope something that way. Yeah, because they make sense in that world more than like an Apple Apple Paltrow who is apparently Apple Paltrow should basically just go be She should go and arrive and get her free money For being skinny and beautiful She should do that

Where I believe the Obama daughters Are fortunately should be doing harder stuff What you can do? That's just me Yeah I hear you And I don't even know what a concert Like I looked I had to read this twice Because I was like what What item of culture are you something

It's Martin if you're nasty It's gonna be a scam poetry yeah No, she's going to come out and do some garbage. They're all terrible. I heard something from the Gracie Abrams girl. Don't you say she's horrible. It's nice and it's cute. It's nice and it's cute.

I listen to other stuff. It is the most forgettable. It's nice and it's cute. It's the most just forgettable pop. Yeah, it's just garbage. And that's fine. That's Apple's allowed to go make that garbage money. Yeah.

That's how I view. Yeah. And not all netos. Listen, we hear at page seven, we try to give props to the, to the Nepos when they, if they do something, I love it. Patrick Schwarzenegger's showing himself to be quite the actor. I like Patrick Schwarzenegger. Yeah, my hawk.

Yeah. I like his name. But my hawk's good. She's really good. I'm trying to know my other friend. Obviously, Jack Quaid. Uh, yeah. Unbelievable.

Jack Quaid actually got the special match. He got the match. Of the two of them together, he got the magic. Because there's certain ones that don't. When I saw pictures, when Northwest was like talking and you look at Northwest. I mean, she is a child. North West is a child. She's a child.

It's going to have a rough go of it. I think it's also just because, I mean, probably anybody whose father is Kanye, I imagine, is going to have a rough go of it. And there's certain people like it. But then you look at somebody like, you know, like Willow Smith, they live in, they just live in La La Land. And then he just became like in charge of their, like, he just, I think he's like in charge of like Louis Vuitton or something. Like he got some crazy executive job. But then the Smiths are great. I think we talked about this last time we were here.

They're an exact, because I know you guys like to compete with other siblings. sets. But like, the Smiths are so, are so talented, or at Lee, Willow, I don't know much about Jayden, but Willow Smith is so talented. And so, again, like, you know, sometimes not all, I'm not anti-Nepo. I'm not, I am eagerly await seeing what Apple Martin does with her life. Right now, it is being hot and thin. And that's also what her mother has largely done with her life. So we'll see. And I, and I, and I hope that she and when, you, When Taylor Swift finally makes the hard right turn into becoming the Nazi queen that I know that she is

when she makes that turn, which is coming any day, the second she crosses 40. When she crosses 40, she's going full Nazi. I'm going to fucking count, mark my words. There's a lot of people who believe this. And I have not found the evidence that that is happening. She's going to make a hard right turn. He just did that series over on last

podcast for so long, Henry. She's just gonna do it. You were referring to, Jaden Smith has been hired as the men's creative director of Lubiton. That's what I'm saying. He became, he got this crazy gig. 27 years old.

And he's just going there being like, Mick Chews out of dice. And everyone's like, okay, yeah, you're right. Wow, why didn't I think of that? Everybody think about a tie you can eat. It's called candy tie. Wow.

That's amazing. Yeah, fuck yeah. Roll-up, yeah. Wow. That's the best thing I've heard, of course. Rolling skating everywhere. Shoes ain't allowed in the office anymore. Wow.

That's the best thing I ever heard. We're wasting trillions of dollars. And everyone has to love it. But also, MJ. I can see again. Welcome back. Welcome back. And we've done it.

And now it is the time. It is the time to shine, everybody. It's time for Jackie's Snackies. It's the. audience edition audience I was gonna say I kept wanting to say chat

but you guys aren't chat you're not chat but you're not an audience either because you're not on the stage They are an audience That isn't what an audience is The people listening Well it's audience edition

I've been a snackie girl Snacky I've been a snackie girl Snacky I've been a snackie girl Snacky I've been a snackie Snacky snackie Is somebody gonna eat those chips Is somebody gonna dip those dips Is somebody going to try those candies?

I got seminar. They say I'm a snack lead. God, she's just... We really got to talk about how brave Jackie's behind. I honestly think she's being too brave. Thank you. You think I'm being too brave. Dangerously brave. Reckless.

I did want to rip through a couple of... Like Rose Apart. I just want to say thank you to everybody that is sent in Jackie Snackies. We're not going to get through all of them today. I just... I wanted to hit a couple of them because I've been excited about them. And I want to say thank you and you can send in your own snackies to Jackie Snackie's at 4804, Laurel Canyon Boulevard number 378 Valley Village, Los Angeles.

Valley Village, California, 9-1607. Couldn't think of the state. So great. Jackie actually exhibiting her earlier dementia symptoms is honestly some of the most of the thing a woman can do. Is it because your bones are turning into crystal? Yes. Isn't that what happens? We're starting with the sweet.

Do your bones turn into balsa wood over time? Or do you just need to just drink milk about it? I mean, yeah, I guess. I thought I was more a maple, but I don't know anymore. Now, this is going out to Jamie who sent this in because I talk about my twin snakes, my purse snakes a lot on here because it is my current fixation food, which are the sweet and sour gummy snakes that are usually in my purse. Now, I appreciated because Jamie wanted me to know that while I have purse snakes, they have purse pigs. and sent in these Percy Pig gummy candies

and I'm very excited because I mean if these are Jamie's snakes I mean I'm very excited I can't wait to take this picture of Henry because he looks so excited to try it Is it? I love gummy pigs Is it a Harabo thing Jackie? No it's just gummies

They're just gummies and I'm excited Is there anything different about it besides just being shaped like pig? They're shaped like pigs but maybe they're delicious No, they're not just, they're not like, eh, yeah, they're made out of crab. Um, no, um, ready? Wow, this is a full pig face. Well, this is much, this is a much bigger pig face than I.

Oh, that's cute. I'm showing the pig face. All right. All right. Chew, chew, chew, chew, chew, chew, chew, chew, chew, chew, chew, chew, chew, chew, chew, chew. Oh, Henry's grumbling. He's spitting it out. Ew, don't put it on the table, Henry.

What type of Somali? It seems like papers. Wow. Ew. Ouch. Why does it got papers on it? Did you forget to take the wrapper off, Henry? No.

It's bad. It tastes like papers. Why are you eating that? You know it's not good. Jackie, quit acting like it's good. Jamie, I'm going to throw us out there. They're not great. They're not good.

I never spit out of it. This is the most inoffensive amount of food. I've eaten fucking balls. Jamie, you must not take this personally. You must take it personally. It's the worst thing I've ever. If you eat this all day, what kind of hell do you live in? You know what it is?

It's given squashies. And this is the problem. Henry, I felt this way about squashies when I first put squash in my mouth. It was like, this is a weird texture. And then I ended up eating the entire bag of the squashies. I don't mind textures. I do believe that's what's going to happen with the Percy pigs. And we're going to say thank you, Jamie, for the Percy pigs.

Yeah, no thank you. Henry's not thanking you, but I'm thanking you. You did bad. That's bad. It's gross. We're heading into savory territory, Henry. Change your life. Change your Bay snack. A while ago I was talking about how much I love Old Bay, and I want to say thank you so much, Jake, for sending in these Chesapeake Bay crab seasoning chips.

You ready to twine it out? I love crab seasonings. And this is Royal Farms, Crab. MJ, are you a chip on San Francisco? I will eat chips anytime, anywhere. Do you do, you don't do chips on, do you do sandwiches? Yeah, yeah, I'll put chips on like a deli, like a bodega sandwich. Like, yeah, like a fucking, because I don't need a ton of deli meat, but if I get like a cheese sandwich from the bodega, you bet I'm putting chips on it.

You full vegetarian? No, no, no, I'm not anymore. You say vegetarian? I'll need vage. I'm pretty sure they're married to a man, but you know. You never know. There's nothing gayer. What's going on? How do we feel?

Good. That's fine. Which is good? Yeah. But remember, that's also what he said about Frankenstein, which you think is a very good movie. I thought it was a great movie. Yes, this is the Frankenstein of chips. Okay.

I would say, I would put this. You're happy. This is fine. You know what I loved about Frankenstein? Ooh, I like these. These are good. That's got good zest, but also I'm excited because this person, Jake, thank you so much, also sent in Old Bay.

I didn't know what to put it on. It's Old Bay Hot. sauce, though. And I'm very excited to use it. You really ought to use this, honestly, though. I would use this specifically for Ooh, that's what we're saying here. Using it for beverages.

Oh, yeah. Put it in some, like a Bloody Mary. Oh, my God. With a shrimp skewer in it? Oh, thank God. It's got Xantham. Oh, my God. Dude, Jake, blowing it out of the water. Love this. This is awesome. Now, this last but not least, is going out to Olivia. Olivia sent

so last week. You already ate these. No, it's just they were sent to me and they got popped in the bag, so I just, I folded them over and put a clip on them. Because last week, we had great Thanksgiving puffs, okay, and they were delicious and they gave great Thanksgiving, like they gave all of Thanksgiving dinner. What I love about Olivia, Olivia sent, so these are coming in from Rhode Island. Now, also, Olivia sent this, like, really special cranberry sauce, and I'm very excited, I'm going to tell you, Olivia, I'm using that on Thanksgiving Day. So I'm not, I didn't bring it here. I'm going to also get the canned stuff too, but I want to try that. And also, they sent this like coffee syrup that you can pour over ice cream.

And I was thinking about bringing it over to your house, Henry, over the holidays, when we all have ice cream and then we could put some coffee syrup on it. That sounds lovely. This is, so last week, we had the puffs, but they were not turkey forward. These are specifically, they're called keogues, Irish potato chips, roast turrets. roast turkey and secret stuffing season. They're thick cut with the skins on, and those are my favorite. Like, I love the dark russet Cape Cod potato chips.

I love thick, oh, potato chip. Whoa. Turkey chips. Oh, shit. That's a big reaction. That's quite good. Really? The turkey forward chips.

I'm surprised. Well, they love turkey. Everyone keep in mind the Zabrowski's love turkey. Ooh, bitch. These are del- They have, oh my God. Such tang on them, such a good crisp on him. This has the amazing tang that were on the puffs from last week.

In fact, Henry, I need to take a photo of you. And if you want to see which ones they are, show them to us. Wow. Then come see the page 7 post over on Last Podcast Network. and I am, wow, Olivia, if that's what the chips tastes like, I can't wait to try the cranberry sauce and the coffee syrup. And I want to say thank you. Our story begins, as men, your good Irish story.

With a sport of rain, a glimmer of sunshine, and a few acres of the greenest countryside of ever say. Make the potatoes off. For hundreds of years, the potwork failed to be. Thanksgiving is an American holiday. The finest potatoes you have ever tested. crazy because it really gives a lot of turkey. I found a way to turn them into a water running chips.

Yeah, but not in like a yucky way, like in a really well-seasoned way. I'm shocked. I'm shocked. I need to find them. Are you feeling your people right now? With love for my ear. It's like I'm transported back

to my ancestral homeland. I just want to say again, thank you. My daughters, I think, cut daughter. Yeah, yeah, I'm bad. Thank you to James. me. And thank you to Jake. And thank you to Olivia. These were unbelievable. And I'm sorry Henry felt that way about the Percy pigs. Again, you must not take it personally. And honestly, you should change your life and make better choices for yourself. Have more respect for yourself.

He's an unpredictable. This should be a better daily snack. Also, this, these, switch to this as your daily snack. The chips. The keogs. Gross turkey chips. These are better than your stupid. Purse. Very bad gummies. Purse turkey chips. Yeah, that sounds more normal than having purse pigs, Henry. Not. You don't understand what we gummy-chews do, all right? See, I'm a savory snacks guy.

You got to bring me in here when we do like some jerky. We need to do some jerkeys. We too. Well, you got turkey chips. That's very savory, but now it's my turn. Yes. MJ, ooh, everything they snack. MJ's men and munchies.

Ooh, ooh, everything they snack. Okay. Today, I've got some fucking abomination. Whoa. MJ has been on a pickle train over there. It's been a lot of pickle stuff going on. It's been a, it's a pickle year. Every year, they usually, it's like,

there's a theme. There's a theme. This theme this year was dill pickle everything. So please tell us about your snack. Yes, my goal is to try all the pickle flavored chips. And I did find this Pringle mingle new product, a light, airy, crispy, dill, pickle, and ranch. It does not tell me what a mingle is.

So is it like, yeah, is it a puff or is it a chip? I don't have about to find out two flavors, one bowtie. Oh, so it's almost like a bowtie, like a farfale pasta, but it's like twisted in the center? I'm about to find out. It looks like a puff. It looks like a pirate booty, but it. That's a fucking puff. That's a goddamn.

That is a pirate booty puff. It's just a pirate booty. It's just a pirate booty. Let me see. Yeah, it's a pirate booty with two flavors on it. Where are the flavors as one on top and one on the bottom? I don't know. They don't seem to be intertwined.

It doesn't seem to be like two puffs as one. It's way more good. It's a lot. This is a lot? So is it that some of the puffs are pickle and some of the puffs are ranch? No, they both have dill pickle and ranch. They are, I guess, described on the front of the bag as puffed snacks. And, yeah, they're supposed to be a mingling of two flavors.

guess. And do you get the ranch and do you get the pickle? I get mostly ranch. Yeah, ranch is a pretty overpowering flavor. Especially when you have a dill pickle because there's also a lot of dill in ranch. So I feel like honestly that the crossover, it might just be too dill. It's redundant. It's not dill enough.

Redildent. Redildent. It is real dilded. It is redidded. It tastes like a ranch flavored pirate booty. I don't hate it. If I was stoned, I would eat it. I'm not going to eat it when I'm not stoned.

Okay. Got it. All right. This is great. See, this is why we do these reviews. So if you are really stoned and you see those mingles and you might think that might tingle your mingle, then get on it. But other than that...

If you're single, enjoy some mingle. I mean, this is why they need to bring me in for PR. I should be the William Castle of Snacks. Yeah, where you kid a woman and force her to eat a bunch of these pig gummies? and tell everybody that they're good. I'm sure the president's going to be fine with it. So thank you. This president actually will be.

Yeah, that's what I mean. I thank you so much, MJ. Quiet, piggy. Quiet, piggy. Oh, my God. Was he talking to the Percy Pigs? Oh, quiet Piggie. Yeah, be quiet, piggy.

Thank you guys, everybody. So much for joining us on this week's episode. What a brave episode. It has been brave. I just so nice to be with two naturally aging people. Thank you. Thank you. For someone who isn't,

It's actually really nice. It's brave of you to get near us. Yeah. Because we might get our old on you. I don't like it. I can smell it. And... You know, apparently to get rid of old person's smell,

you've got to wash your neck. That's where it's coming from. The neck is the problem. Ew. Where you're supposed to grab somebody. You know, when we used to grab pop pop up on the back of a scruff? Oh, yeah.

Always. Drag him out. When he was always fighting. Yeah, he was fighting and scratch it. We sent him right back to World War II. Yeah, that's right back. your dreams are. Yeah, go kill a Nazi Grandpa. Henry, where can we

find you? Last podcast on the left? I see. I'm so frightened by you. Why are you scared of me? I don't know what it is. Why? I'm trying to build you up. General energy. It's just because of the It's the turkey chips. I think that I'm all full up now. Yeah. I'm getting that triptophan.

Yeah. We're right in there. But thank you, Henry, so much for hanging out with us today on page seven. It's been very nice. It's been wonderful seeing you, MJ. It's been wonderful to see you, Henry. I love hanging out with you. And I'm hanging out with you.

And? I see you often. And it was wonderful. It was good this time. Thank you. Thank you for saying it. And I'll take it. You know what?

I'll take it. In this economy, my name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. You can come hang out with Henry. Henry and I over on YouTube.com slash at LPNTV every Wednesday. LPNRPG presents Bloodbath. Bloodbath. Come check it out.

It is, man, we are having an insane experience over on Vampire, and you should really come and hang out with us because I think a lot of people were not knowing what to expect and didn't think that that would be something that they would like, and a lot of people are being very shocked. So please come check. check it out. We're having an absolute blast with it. And also while you're checking things out, go on over to the patreon.com slash page seven podcast. Check it out. We've got Sookie Stackhouse on Mondays.

We've got Buffy on Tuesdays. We've got celebrities on Wednesdays. And then we've got, of course, page seven, and we've got second helpings. Come check it out. MJ. Fire bad. Fire bad. Henry, we love you. Come back soon. Email us. Don't you email us, Henry, but other people you can email us at page. email us Page 7 podcast at gmail.com and we will see you guys tomorrow

for second helpings. Bye everybody. Ah, blind man, good. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.

Thank you.