Page 7 - Vow Renewal - All Corgis Are Barkers w/ Holden McNeely

Episode Date: May 15, 2025

This week Holden's back-back again, and he's thirsty for more LPN time as he and MJ try to keep Jackie sane after the very recent loss of her father, so it's time to goss' 'bout the fact that Hilaria Baldwin has come out as having a very special brain which is why she pretend to be from EL SPAAAAAIINNOOOO, MJ started 'Manuel Not Included' and it's causin' them great mental distress but now they're wondering if it's all a conspiracy to let Alec Baldwin do a silly racist accent in interviews?!?!, Lea Michele makes claim she can read, but the lady doth protest TOO MUCH, Jackie's the only one of the three watching the new season of 'The Rehearsal' and she's not sure what the show is anymore, but speaking of awkward humor, she highly suggests Tim Robinson's new movie 'Friendship'. China's first corgi police dog is in trouble AGAIN and no one can remember who picked this article, Taytay got served with a subpoena in the ongoing LivelyxBaldoni case and it's got MJ firing shots at the Beyhive with even MORE conspiracies!, there's a '10 Things I Hate About You' musical comin' to Broadway bein' scored by the one and the only Carly Rae Jepsen, and MUCH MORE! Then a list featuring an actor who ate real dog poop on camera and 29 other HORRIFYING BEHIND THE SCENES THAT LITERALLY MADE ME SICK TO MY STOOOOMACH (per the list title), the Blindz, and a totally remote Jackie's Snackies with MJ's Munchie Minute, and Holden Likes to Eat Two Things....PUSSY & SNACKS from 1:07:03.829 til 1:16:42.609! HAIL HENRY THOMAS ZEBROWSKI SENIOR!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

That's what the Bibles say. Oh, you're riding high in April. Shot down in May. But I know I'm gonna change that tune when I'm back on top, back on top in June. Wait, writing high in April, do you think that guy knew about 420, bro?

Yeah, I think he was smoking that fucking revert. No, no, it's another holding episode. You thought you couldn't get rid of him. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back again. Sonatch, bro.

He was getting stizzy, stizzy, nizzy. Back again. Again. Hold them back. Back. Don't tell a friend. Oh, I guess. He's our friend.

And with me comes, what's that knocking on the door? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're not our rockie. All right, guys, we didn't invite Gronkey back. We invited Holden back, and you're like, but guys, didn't you just have Holden on? Yeah, we did. But here's the thing, guys. Sometimes, oh, the Queen of Hearts, she goes and she tolls the bell, and she screams, bring me my jester.

The bell tolls for thee. Oh, and it told for thee, Holden McNeely. And thank you for showing up. and you are here to keep me happy today because I am going through family tragedy currently. And if Holden wasn't here, I would just be crying through the episode. Well, look, just remember if you're not, if, look, with the crying thing, just always do this. Like, it's like when you're trying to not have a hard penis, you think about baseball, right? Is it baseball that gets you to not be hard anymore?

If you start thinking about crying, just think about me drinking an entire cup. of everyone's spit from... Oh, did you drink the spit cup? Oh, yeah. Oh, you did a heel of a bit of a drink. Because I thought I would be able to drink it, but as soon as it entered my mouth, my entire body went in high,

just a lot and completely rejected it. So I put it in all in my mouth and then threw it up, like gag, puke, threw it up. Yeah. He really didn't want to because honestly, I was very surprised at how far away from the barf bucket you were when you took the big swig from the spit cup.

And of course, we are talking about the LPN Funhouse. Yeah, I'm glad I found that spit cup, or that barf bucket, rather. Oh. From spit cup to barf bucket, the whole of a big daily story. I'm glad I don't live in L.A. and I can't participate in LPN Funhouse because this is what you guys do. Couldn't be me. Especially when you're spitting, you're spit onto a bunch of chewed up head cheese, which is what was inside of the barf bucket. Oh, my Lord.

Yeah, blood the head cheese. too. It was rough. Yeah, it was great. I think if Jackie thinks of that when she's sad, she's going to cry harder. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because I went through it, because I did it, and, you know, yeah, you have the memories. Yes, I have the, and it is sad for me as well as everyone that watched the show, but although I think my dad would have loved all of those meats, because unfortunately, Henry did get his love of disgusting meats from my father. I used to have to travel. I would have to go to Greenpoint to buy a log of liverwurst, and I would have to freeze it and travel with it down to Florida because it's hard to get a good liverwurst in Florida. But here's what they don't tell you about liver at worst, that you freeze it, but it is going to thaw in your clothes when you're coming down and then all your clothes are going to kind of smell vaguely of liverwurst.

and you're like, oh, wrapping up in something. Maybe you just put it in a Ziploc bag. You think I didn't do that? I'm having, I'm on one today, guys. Did somebody say butthole? Grongy is not invited. Grongy, literally no one said butthole this entire time. I don't know where you're coming up with that.

You're just hearing your own rhetoric at this point. You, listener, you know you've been in the throes of grief and what do you long for? You long for Holden to assault you with his sense of humor. It brings us great comfort. It is what sometimes it's just like getting into a nice warm bed that's wet for some reason, you know? Oh, yeah. It's nut. It's a nut bed.

Yeah, it's humid. Yeah, yeah. It's real wet. Nutman Jones. Yeah, that's another character of mine. He secreted the bed that you're now lying. Is that like a cousin of osmosis Jones? And then I want to see that sequel.

Yeah, yeah. Not rated. Who was your guy that day he was? That day you were wearing those big glasses. Oh, Space Man Jenkins. Yeah, Space Man Jenkins. Yeah, yeah. I forgot about the Spaceman.

That day was... He's doing pretty good, dude. Talk about 420, bro. That guy had one of the most epic 420s I've ever seen. He thrashed on a board to start the day. Hell, yeah. Fucking went to the dome in Vegas, dude. Had him open the dome for him so he could sky dance.

I love this. He was hanging on wires. Holden. Did you not, were you not able to celebrate 420? Because I feel like you've got 420. I think you need a little bit of refo, man. Yeah, no, I was actually, yeah, what, 420? We did, it was Springs-Giv-it.

No, no, I did. I played Tony Hawk and did dabs. I super-s. Oh, yeah, we definitely did dabs. Rob and James came over. On that Easter, you posted a video about how you weren't streaming because you were spending time with loved ones, and I sent you a message back.

I was like, I think you're in a cloud of smoke in this video. Yeah, dude. It was very important for me. My loved one was my dab rig or Rob's dabrig and Tony Hawk Broskater. Not even your dab rig. Yeah, yeah. Somebody else's dab rig. I was that sad.

I was so sad over the weekend that I was like, do you think I could ask Rob to come over and bring his dabbrick? You know he would. So hard. The new sleep token came out. He would just be like, here's the new sleep token. If I can put it in your veins while we do these dabs. While we do these dabs.

I wanted to do that. But I couldn't get away because there was, there's a bit of a. COVID sonar in my apart. I don't know what I'm saying right now. But anyways, so I could, yeah, so I was like, bro, I can't fucking dab out and listen to the new sleep token with you, bro. But we're going to do that soon or whatever. Bro.

Yeah. Talk about, yeah, we are old people talking about dabbing, but that's fine. At least we're not talking about the arm thing, you know, that's not the kind of dabbing that we're referring to. And if it were, put us in a grave all right. I'm joining Daddy, everybody. There you go. I say is there room for two?

Uh-oh, yeah, is it a giant casket? Yeah, big fat one. Yeah, I want a big family casket. Yeah, family one. Why don't they do those more often, dude? Like, big family ones. I want to snug in. I think that's usually because it's probably like

mommy or daddy decided that they didn't want the family anymore. So I guess you don't really want to put them in one coffin. I want to be, I'm hoping like tonight go at the same time so we can get like 69 coffins. You know what I mean? I. Yeah.

Would you, but would you ask the coroner to sew your lips to her pussy and have her sew her lips around your penis? Yeah, yeah, for sure. I think it's a pretty good idea. I mean, well, I will be hard. I mean, because man becomes hard upon death. You're talking about my father's hard dead penis right now? Maybe. Yeah.

You're talking about my father's dead penises? Think about it. You should probably put it. Content note at the beginning of this episode. What? What are you talking about? Trigger warning. It's fine.

My dad had a hard dead penis. Okay. Jackie's dead dick, dad, dude. And how hard it probably was. It's probably softened now. You know what I mean? I don't know.

I think that rigor mortis. I think that's like for a minute. What's hard for a word? Rigor mortis. Like, can we come up with a dumber word? Scientists are so dumb and annoying. I know. Like, why do they come up with such stupid ass words, dude?

Stupid. Yeah. Rigger, but why is this called Stiff Man's Disease? Oh, sorry, Celine has that. Don't. Stiff's Man's Disease is taken. Yeah, yeah, totally. She's stiff and not in a fun way, all right?

And it's hard for her and she can't sing. And she can't sing. That makes me burst into tears. Guys, I'm just going to randomly, silently cry during the episode. But it makes... I'll just keep making completely inappropriate jokes. I don't know. I might have ever stepped.

We had a meeting yesterday. and in front of everybody, and Henry was like, you know, doing this thing. I was like, by the way, I texted you

condolences and you didn't respond. So pretty rude, buddy. Rude. Rude. Pretty fucking rude. It is crazy. I don't know how to be appropriate. I was just saying that every friend group needs a hold of.

Yes, you need to have somebody to keep people to task. But it's also really crazy the amount of times people said, and I don't know if this is like a southern thing, that they were like, oh, did you tell him it was time? for him to go. You came and you told every single.

Yeah, it's time for you to fucking run. This is the thing. Every single old Southern bitch was just like. We have an LPN TV thing. You gotta get out of here, Daddy. I've got other things to do. Can we die, die, die? I think he's a drink of a bunch of people spit

and then ralph it into a red bucket that's just bark pocket on it. I need to be cugging up head cheese with my friends and I need to get to die faster. Yeah, that's why I showed up. Thanks so much for asking every southern old woman. I feel like they just walk up to you. They hand you a Xanax, and then they ask you if you told him if it was time for him to leave. And I'm just like, I mean, thank you for the Xanax. And yes, I will immediately put this into my mouth.

But it's just the things that people ask you, the untoward things. The Xanax is a Florida-specific. Yeah, it's like, instead of bringing it. a casserole, they bring a bottle of pills. That's Florida. That's Florida, dude. The amount of pills that were just being thrown around. I'm like, man, instead of grieving,

just take these go away pills. Where's my Larazepan? The neighbors just lost a family member. Bring over a bottle of zanis for them. Instead of processing this in a healthy manner, just remove the ghosts from your brain. by taking these pills. You know what's better if it just doesn't exist.

Exist. Right. You're right. It would be better if it doesn't exist. Thank you. And look, instead of me being sad about my dead family members, I bought a new hat. Look at it. Is it nice?

Oh, man. They're talking about their knockers because I will say the nurse that was taking care of my father. Man, the knockers on her. Angel of a human being. Truly an angel that walks among humans. But she was, what she was affable? Oh, yeah. What would you give her?

A Florida what? A Florida? Oh, Florida? 10.7. No way. She was that. Dude, Florida's got Miami. U.B.

word. I guess that's true. Okay. For the parts of Florida we're from, I would say a 10.7. Yes. She's a clear water 10. 10. 10.

10. Oh, yeah. What am I? Clearwater. Clearwater Holden. Ooh. You know what? Just don't even answer.

You know what? I'm so annoyed by your immediate reaction. You know, it was, I had to tally up all the points. Yeah. That you had. People, you know what? I hate to inform you this, but there are many female women and probably even more men. I don't even know. I haven't tallied.

Doubt it. Don't want to fucking see what happens in, in this. Inside of you in your stomach. Yes. Is that what they're looking for? They're into it, okay? I look at it with X-ray goggles. Yeah, I think they want to slash your body open like and scream.

I think is what, I think they want to see your insides on your outsides. And that is, you know what? Impressive. And I say, God bless it. And people could get mad about this instead of the dumb stuff they get mad at and write in emails about how effable I'm actually. I'm instead of whatever stupid offended thing you're mad at. I would appreciate that.

Okay, listeners. And also, I'm going to say, I'm sorry to all you listeners because Holden, I don't know if Henry said this in the corporate meeting, but technically. we have six weeks of grief humor and we're allowed to say whatever we want. I don't know why we have to now talk in this cadence. But I guess I will just continue to

for the rest of these shows. When I am talking, you're not talking. You're not talking. Perfect segue, you guys. Because guess who has ADHD and dyslexia and that's why she pretended to be from Espania. Honestly, just to hopefully

prove her wrong. I mean, this is so clearly, like, offensive, but, like, is there any science mind? Like, I have to at least ask the question. Does anyone fluctuate between dialects because of neurodivergence? She is trying to do so many things here. She could just say, she could just, it would make total sense to be, what she's saying, I started the book. The book is sending me into fits of rage.

It's, I'm 10 minutes in and I want to punch a hole in the wall. She is so annoying. The story she's choosing to tell are. Truly baffling, but this is an anecdote from the book. Of course, Hilaria Baldwin is on her press tour for her book, which I accidentally typed once as Manuel, not included. And now that is what we have to call it. Manuel, not included.

It is about parenting. It starts, it's very funny because it starts by her saying, like, people act as if I am no person before I met Alec, and my life only began with him. I was a full person. But the book starts when she meets Alec. So we don't get to learn about who she was before, which is fine. because I don't care.

She... What are you talking about? I'm sorry. My ADHD is acting up. And you know I just fall into my illusion. She has a special doctor. There is something called foreign accent syndrome. I just look this up.

A brain-related condition. This is on the Cleveland Clinic. A brain-related condition that affects your ability to make sounds correctly. Despite the name, it isn't an accent change at all. Oh, okay.

That's different. This is a legitimate medical condition. Not an accent. See, this is a thing. Because it makes sense, right? Now, after reading Julia Fox's book that she was made so much fun of because she said, On Kot Joms. But she is a natural native Italian speaker.

So maybe it was just that in her speaking, that it just came out a little bit more, you know, I don't know, a little bit more Italian. And that, you know what, I'll give her. Yes. I'll give her on Kat Joms, okay? And she does what in her book, by the way, Julia Fox's book. and she speaks Italian, she goes in and out, you know, and when she says Italian words, it's, she doesn't make a whole thing about it. I know, I knew less that Julia Fox was actually like an Italian who lived in Italy, born in Italy, spent her childhood, first years of her

childhood in Italy, and then went back to Italy often. She makes much less of a big deal about that than Helaria, who's parents moved to Spain when she was 27. So, but that affects a person, MJ, okay? And sometimes... Yeah. Okay, but here's the thing. Here's the thing. So, because the headline of this is, and thank you to the many, many page seven listeners who sent it because we don't want to miss anything about this woman. So we appreciate you.

The headline is that she claims that her accent fluctuation is because of ADHD and dyslexia. And what she basically says is that she's got a very special brain and that it's hard to go back and forth between the languages and she gets mixed up. All of that's fine. Makes sense. Literally no one cares that you're by, no one is upset that you're bilingual. People are impressed that you're bilingual. Good job.

Good job being bilingual, right? But then the problem is that there is, I found it. It's a montage of all the times Alec Baldwin was doing press years and years ago before 2020 saying, my wife is from Spain. And then he does a racist accent mocking the voice of somebody who's speak Spanish. He's mocking his wife, but the problem is, and I was trying to find, is there footage of her saying she's from Spain, or was it

always just him saying she was from Spain? Because this is really the nut we have to crack. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I love cracking. Filthy. Yeah. It's fucking crack.

Nothing gets them back in. Let me eat them. Because she's trying to say that the accent is her brain getting confused going back and forth between the languages. No one gives a shit about that. What people care of. about is why did you say you were from Spain? She's just trying to pretend that that never happened. And in the book, she basically just pretends that ever happened. She's like, everyone's making

fun of me because of the way I talk. And no one's making fun of you because of the way you talk. People are making fun of you for pretending that you were from Spain. But this is not like a Mandela effect where we're just misremembering. And she's actually always been a bilingual woman from Boston. There are, I think, seven clips of different press hits of Alec Baldwin being like, my wife, she's from Spain, and then he does this little accent. And so the question is, was she lying to him or was he just being racist for no reason? Was he lying? Whoa. So that he could do a funny Spanish accent.

No, I don't think he would. I think that she's been lying since the get. I think it's all on the book. But I appreciate you positing that she's not evil. But I think that she is. Yeah, I don't like the way she treats Alec Baldwin, which has been very well-dod. documented at this point on camera. Yes. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, we definitely don't like that. I'm going to put this link in the chat. It is from the Hilaria Baldwin subreddit, which we know she does read and does hate. A lot of the book is about how upset she is that people are mean to her online. And I get it. I don't like it when people are mean to us online. So, girl, relatable, you know, on the one hand, on the other hand. Go off. I'm going to write a whole book about it. Fucking stop me. I'm going to write a whole book about it. Black,

Yo! But I am going to write the book in a fake Italian accent. So it's going to be difficult to read. Yeah. But honestly, just listen to me, do the audiobook. And you will again need. Every conflict, there's at least one bitch. A huge bitch, a silly bitch. A little baby bitch. A raggedy bitch. But sometimes it's unclear who the bitch is. I'm Kara Klank. And I'm Jackie Zabrowski. And on our new Colin Advice podcast, we're going to help you figure out who Who's the bitch? We want to hear your problems, dilemmas, and quandaries. No topic is off limits.

Does your coworker flirt with the boss to get ahead? Is your bestie having her destination wedding on a holiday weekend? Is your therapist being clingy? Does your friend keep bringing her toddler to adult parties? Come on, there's definitely a bitch in your life, and we want to hear about it. You can email us, DM us, leave us a voicemail, and even call in live to talk to us in person about the alleged bitch in your life. Just go to who's the bitch.com

for all the ways you can contact us. New episodes drop every Wednesday starting in October on the last podcast network. So subscribe now on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. And tune in to our live stream kickoff on September 30th on the last podcast network Twitch channel, where we'll be taking your calls

live on air. Help us, help you figure out Who's the bitch? By the way, have you guys a very similar-ish story happening right now in the world of sports. Have you guys paid any attention to the Bill Belichick?

Belichick? Oh, my God, yes. Stuff with his. Apparently, she was, like, barred from, like, being in the UNC. First of all, University of North Carolina is, like, a big part of my family. Like, my parents met there. My brother went there.

So that's already just weird. Where's your Loressapang? Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. I'm sorry, they were Duke. That's like a, that's a big, no, no. Well, no, no, one was UNC. I think Piper's U and C and what's her name is Duke. I'm just saying that that's like he was Duke though, right?

That's like a big, you can't say. Yeah, what happened? I'm trying to figure out what happened. Every person I met from the Duke Blue Devils. Yeah, they hate you. They're all douchebags. Yeah, if you went to Duke, I don't want you to listen to this show that I'm no longer on. They're rival schools.

People think that Bill Belichick's girlfriend is lying about her age. Is that the story? No, the big story is just that she's like doing the hilaria bullshit where it's like, Like he's old and tired. And, you know, she's way younger and she's totally like the little puppets here. Multiple estates. That bitch is fucking, she's huffing it. She's doing it, dude.

And she didn't have to give him seven kids to cut it. In hilarious book, she's like, how could I be a gold digger? I have seven kids. That's not gold digger behavior. And I'm like, I think that it's it. It could be. It could be. It locks him in so hard financially and everything.

And also she's obviously such a narcissist. It's like when we were talking about chimp crazy, and I'm not comparing the kids to chimps. But in the run... Oh, you're definitely comparing those kids to chimps, and that is fine. When we identified that there is a type of person who loves babies, not because they want to be a nurturing and loving mother, but because they need someone to love them unconditionally, no matter what they do, there is that type of narcissist. Then I'm not... I don't... I'm not a psychologist, but something is obviously. going on with Hilaria. And I think having seven kids with somebody as not mutually exclusive to being a gold digger.

But she's just like, no, I'm working too hard over here. And I'm like, you're getting this famous wealthy man's spermies to make an army of children. To build her empire. Completely in line. And you're already making them pump out books and stuff. Yeah, you're making your 10 year old write a book. She's got a book in her. I'm sorry, making her.

She had the book in. Yeah, she gave birth to the book. They got a surrogate, I'm sure, by the way, for that. For the book. For the 10-year-old to write a book. I'm sure they got a surrogate situation to birth that book that was in her. And I bet they got a surrogate situation. I'm sorry, did you have something else to say about Hilaria?

Oh, no, I was going to say, I can't believe that we got hold in here for the Salaria news. And also for the big news of last week, which was Leah Michelle claiming that she can read. Yeah, I. Page 7 greatest hit from long ago. It's so fun how much it bothers her. It really bothers her. It's really, really great. And again, I do understand that getting made fun of online is not fun.

But when it's innocuous and ridiculous, it's, I'm okay with it. That's the thing. I do feel like people claiming she can't read is such a funny and ultimately harmless way to make fun of somebody. Because this is only going to affect an extreme narcissist. And that's why we have fun with it. Because what we don't love are extreme narcissists, right? And she does, she's trying to be like, I'm so funny and fun and it really doesn't bother

me. But then also she's like, I was the first one of my family to go to college. and I work really hard. And it is like very, it's just very, it's like such a silly rumor that to even engage with it is, you know,

like she's also a shit person. Right. So keep saying that she can't read. Right. Yeah. I love it. I think it's great. Keep saying it.

She hates it. Keep saying it. And I love that she's like, I'm reading off of the paper right now. How can it? It's like, ha, ha, ha. You're just like, yeah,

just try and stop us. We're the goblins that live inside of your brain. And I'm feasting on the nothing that you have. There was a great post on Reddit that was this video that started off. And I hate bringing him up as he's such a horrible piece of shit. But still, not Bill Hader. Bill Hader is talking about working on South Park and talking about how the room when they came up with the Kanye fish stick thing. Yes.

And the whole joke of that is based on he won't get this joke. He'll take it in a crazy, in like a way that, and he won't be able to get over it. Like he won't actually get the joke. And then it showed three different songs where he references. the fish stick thing. Multiple different interviews. He cannot handle it because he thinks they're calling him gay, which they're not.

They're calling him like a, they're saying he's like a gay fish, which makes no sense. But he like, so he doesn't get it. And the whole joke of it is that he wouldn't get it. And he wouldn't be able to get over it because he's such an extreme narcissist.

And it's so fun because they definitely just live in his head writ free now. Right. And he still can't get over it. He references it in three different songs over the course of, of like a decade. Like he's clearly still just like,

I'm not gay, South Park. I don't care what you say. And that's honestly, ultimately what Manuel not included is, is a book being like, stop making fun of me for me saying I was from Spain. That's really, I know I'm just starting it.

And it's about their marriage and whatever. But really, it is about, the dedication is to anyone, I think it's to anyone who wants to tell their own story. and it's the whole thing. It's just like in 2020, everybody found out I wasn't from Spain

and they said, you're not from Spain. And that was mean. And now I wrote a book about it. And I never got over it. And now I wrote a book about it. She's trying to have her redemption arc. And it's like, now, bro, you just, the redemption arc would have been owning it

and being like, I'm a silly bitch. I tried to get away with it. I do silly bitch stuff. Oops. I thought my husband. could go around saying, my wife is from Spain, and then doing a racist desk, B.D. Gonzalez accent. Right.

You know, yeah. And even if she did an hour I'd be like, I'm from Spain, she changed her name to Hililaria and spoke in a Spanish accent. Yeah. And didn't say anything to the contrary. So you know what, even if she doesn't have recorded documentation being like, hey, yeah, you're sorry. I forget, de Spain.

You don't. Oh, God. What? She's not, if she, just because she doesn't say that. How many years of Spanish did you take, Holden? Oh, so many. I was so bad at Spanish. I was so bad in Spanish.

I can only imagine how beautiful your Ascento was, though. I bet it was like a hilaria. Everybody in Charlotte, you know, Charlott. Just watch that White Lotus season. Parker Posey's character from White Lotus trying to speak, you know, like high school freshman Spanish. Oh my God. No, you know that they were learning French.

No way they were learning Spanish. You know that I feel like Parker Posey's definitely would have been like, my parents made sure I knew French. You know, I feel like there was that kind of insane. I don't know if it was similar for you guys, but in my high school program, I felt like we really judged the people that took French. And I don't know why.

You should have judged me. And I would have judged you because I was just like, Spanish is the, you must know Spanish. Sure, definitely learn French, but if you don't know Spanish, you should definitely be learning Spanish. I wasn't upset with the French people. You know what I was upset with? The Latin people.

Unless they were doctors, unless they were doctors. If you're going, if you want to become a doctor and that is something that is going to help you, fine. But that is, man, I'm like, okay with your et cetera. I don't know what you have. I don't even respect it because also, oh, I'm not. an eighth grade and I'm gonna become my doctor. Shut.

That's what you're making. You're making fun of a child's dream. Ficious eighth grader. All right. Why don't we watch some videos of a dude getting sliced open? Let's see that for a little bit. Why would you get through that part first?

Bro. Dude, currants are so dumb, man, and annoying. I'm calling a lot of things dumb right now and I'm sorry. I guess I shouldn't because I'm not very smart. I'm not the brightest being in the bushels. in the bag. Yeah, the bag of beans that you've got?

I'm not either. I'm definitely not. I would say I'm the most, I guess I'd say I'm the most baked of the beans. Come on, everybody. Who do you think is our dumbest friend? He do you think the dumbest person are friends? Dumbest.

You know what's funny is I know the name popped up in her head immediately. And I think I could guess the name. But she's not going to say the name. No, I think you can only choose between the dumbest of the three of us. You can't talk about other people when they're not here.

You're not here holding. Dumbest of the three of us. I think I might be the dumbest. I think that I might, I think I could have used to be the smartest, but I think I've blitzed my brain away. You read a lot of books, dude. I mean, they're dumb books, but you read a lot of books. You wanted to be a meteorologist?

Yeah, you wanted to be a meteorologist. I never wanted to do that, dude. I just wanted to fucking smoke herbs and, like, eat, you know, a burger or whatever. That's it. Those were the only dreams. I think we know the answer. I could build a PC, right? I could do all.

I'm like a... Yeah, this is the thing. Everyone is smart in different ways. I like that. All the people who I thought were dumbasses in high school, then I tried snowboarding, and I was like, those guys are really smart because they know how to snowboard, you know, and I tried to learn to guitar, and I couldn't do it. And all these people who I thought were stoners and not ambitious, they were fantastic guitar players.

I'm like, those guys were smart as hell. But also, like, super math nerds are like unable to be in the world for a lot of, you know what I mean? There's different type. That's the thing. I really don't. I had this big retroactive, like when I tried to do some of the things that the dumbest people in high school were very good at. I was like, no, they weren't dumb at all. They were really, really, really good at things that they just weren't able to be successful in school. Oh, speaking of, are you guys watching this current season of the rehearsal? Nathan Fielder's show the rehearsal? I have that. I have not done any Nathan Fielder, but should I? I should. I, it really depends. I, I think. I, it really depends. I, I think. think you really love Nathan Fielder or you really fucking hate him. And I really like it.

I like how uncomfortable it is this current season. I don't know what this show is becoming. I like British Office. I like, you know, I like shows that are, have that level of discomfort.

Bro, I was just in them. Telling MJ about Tim Robinson's new movie friendship. Yeah. The new movie, him and Paul Rudd. Uh-huh. That, it is an hour and a half of, I think, hilarious, but also, so I love uncomfortable humor.

You like, I feel like, Holden, you like ranty uncomfortable humor more so than I do. Like, I don't want it as angry unless it's Tim Robinson. But the movie friendship, you could just feel how uncomfortable everyone was watching it. Right, right. Yeah. And I love that feeling because I love a group. Y'all know I love a movie theater experience anyway, but especially a group feeling of uncomfortable laughing is maybe that's just been a lot of what my life has been this last six

weeks or so. But I think that it makes you stronger, you know? I think that only the strongest, yeah, I'm saying it, guys. And you can't come at me. I'm being a grief fluencer right now. Only the strongest can understand and like uncomfortable humor. Yeah, I said it. Take that.

Strongest. Well, I like hear this because I thought you were obscenely weak. I know. And I'm seeing a core of strength instead rise. You're like a, like a cookie dough. Not like a phoenix, like a lamer bird than a phoenix, but something like a phoenix, but like not as cool. You said lamer bird? Like the less cool.

Pigeons. All birds are very cool. And pigeons, how do you? UMJ pigeons are magical in their own queens. You're riding like a pigeon that was set on fire at Central Park out of some ashes. Yeah. Yeah, I love it. Zoom's not letting me hear that, but I can't wait to hear it.

But you're surviving, you know. Yeah, yeah. You're a survivor, something. I'm going to get a day. She's really hot. She's good at singing. And sometimes it's difficult out there. It's difficult out there for a daughter that is grieving,

but it's also difficult out there for China's first corgi police dog yeah I am bringing it up because he's in trouble again did I choose this article you chose this article did you I don't okay I chose this article I opened this and I was like

why did I? Right did I read this and choose this because you must have chosen this in the throes of grief the headline is China's first corgi police dog in trouble again at this time for stealing sausage during patrol. I'm just annoyed because Corky should never be

put in a position of taking life seriously on any level. I mean, corgis, why are we doing? What are we doing? How dare you? Why? Little legs are not allowed to be lit? They shouldn't be cops. They're too silly to be cops.

Yeah, be silly and fun and make people's day. But don't put a corgi. How dare you? Have you ever seen their... heart-shaped ass, that's the heart-shaped ass of a killer. And everybody knows it. I think that corkies are great for it. Because you know why? You never, you would never assume a corgi is going to be

narking on you. You're never going to assume you're going to be looking at that sweet hard ass. And you're going to say, no way, is it the ass of a killer? It's the ass of a winner. This article is baffling because they're like, Corgi's, you know, they're using the corgis as police dogs because they're such good little like finders of things. And I'm like, What, like, are we worried that, are we trying to just find, like, the drugs in people's socks, you know, like, all, like, like, all of the corgis, but they're very, they're very low to the ground. And also, please, they're going to just kind of being slightly, I'll love to corgis, slightly annoying. Whoa. Like, their ankle bite.

His name is hers. And I feel like you're not properly giving him the respect that he deserves, okay? They want to nip at your ankle. They want to herd you. Well, who, what are you going to, I guess, cops, yeah, heard all the, heard all the, heard all the, all the criminals into jail? They do. They do. All of the ones that they can see. And that's the ones that, you know, that's all of them because they all see bad. They all see bad. Even the corgis. I guess now we're anti-corgy on the show. Is that what we're saying? More like snorkees.

Yeah, more like snorgy. That's what I needed to hear. I think that I was just listening to the death rattle of my father and just being like, look at the, but a corgi is a cop. Corgi for a cop. But that's funny because this cop is currently dying. Yes. This cop is stealing sausages. What? Yes. Again, the kind of jokes.

I'm not supposed to be saying. But my family really did accept our uncomfortable, continuous joking that we did. A-C-A-B, all corgis are barkers. Barkers. All corgis are barkers. You love that for us. You couldn't even bring yourself to call corgi's bastards.

No, no, I can't. They're so, I just don't like that they're trying to have this corgi be outside of its realm, which is silliness and play. It's sillyness and fun. How dare they? But I mean, he was stealing a sausage, so that is pretty fun. Exactly. Well, that's its sweet revenge for being placed, you know, I liken it to. you know, like a trans person being trapped in their wrong gender.

You know what I mean? So the court. Okay. So the, hmm. So, you know what I mean? That's like a,

it helped me understand this, that struggle more. Having a, forcing a, forcing a corgi into a police officer's uniform is, there's a mismatch. Probably how you felt up until, you know,

up to years ago. This is like when, uh, over on side stories, Henry and Eddie were trying to, tell me about how baby girl is degrading to women. And I was like, oh, please, please, I'd love for the two of you to tell me about how baby girl is degrading to women. Yeah.

I'd love. My baby girl. No, I think that I'm, I think I can speak for the entire community when I say that. Thank you. You can't, you can't make anyone be a gender that isn't true to their own and you can't make a corgi be a cop. Yep. Thank you. And so in that way, Holden's right.

Yes. I have heard of here first. All right. I've rarely been wrong lately. I've been pretty hitting the pretty much the big numbers lately. Is it because of the spit cup that you had to swallow? Is it ever since then that you feel like it's all up from there? Jesus Christ, that was, I really thought I was going to do better with that too.

I can't like get, this is my problem with the eating and drinking gross things on the stream. Like, I just can't even get it in me. I just, my body just rejects it too quickly. What you don't expect about. spit. And this is coming from someone that did collect a cup of my own spit for the last funhouse. I'm only letting you talk about this because I'm grieving. Go on. I'm a grief. I don't want to hear it. This is part of my grief fluency. Yeah, people get really upset when we talk about this. Which is a new superpower I found. Like, sweet Tearso, like, couldn't even, when we were doing the meetings for Funhouse,

she couldn't even talk about the spit cup. I have to walk out of the room. Like, we were just talking about it. I'm realizing where my hard lines are. And it's right here. And it is talking about. And it is talking about how you don't expect all that spit when you get it all together to be that viscous. I don't. I was afraid you were going to say viscous. You knew I was going to say viscous. I did. You knew a viscous.

It's one of my favorite words. You know, the people of LPN, I'm not going to say they're the most hydrated bunch either, you know. Especially not when you're screaming and we were drinking the big blue buzzball. Oh, God. So also the spit was kind of blue because of all the buzzball drinking. So really when it hits your mouth holden, I imagine it was a consistency you just certainly didn't expect. That must have been how Taylor felt when she was served a subpoena from Blake lively. Oh, my God.

How embarrassing. Actually, Justin Baldoni's lawyer. This is so embarrassing for everybody. Like, what a lame thing. I don't know. I hope she makes a mockery out of the whole thing, kind of like how she was so awesome when she came in about the ass-grabbing incident way back when. The spokesperson's quote is pretty rough. So, you know, Taylor's got dragged into this because she's mentioned in the texts by each of them.

Oh, you can see all of the dragons. Yeah, Blake's got her dragons. But the spokesperson's goal, like, again, if you're Blake lively, you got to just really wish this wasn't happening. Yeah, this is so embarrassing for her. Taylor Swift never set foot on the set of this movie. She was not involved in any casting or creative decisions. She did not score the film. She never saw an edit or made any notes of the film.

This is my favorite part. She did not even see it ends with us until weeks after its public release and was traveling around the globe during. And she was probably, oh my God. Blake, it was the biggest tour in history. Blake, it was. So why are you subpoenaing me? It was good, Blake. Yeah, I really liked your acting.

You know what I mean? She's like trying to get the words out, but she's like gagging. It's so difficult because it was such a bad movie. Yeah. This is so dumb. And for this guy's ego, could you imagine an ego this big that you think the most. popular pop star on the planet gives a fuck about your stupid little movie. You know what I mean?

Like at all. Like to even... What are they subpoenaing for? What information they hoping to get out? I imagine... Yeah, go on it. Probably anything that maybe like Blake lively had said to her about it or like anything. They're trying to infer that she wielded the power of her relationship with Taylor Swift

and her marriage to Ryan Reynolds to like fuck with the movie. The production, yeah. This court date, by the way, I know I said this on brighter side when I was talking about this whole thing. And I can't remember if we talked about it on page seven. But the court date for this actual suit to all, like, happen to see the light of day in court is not until 2026. I can't.

The blinds are drowning with Blake lively Adams. I need this to be over. And we all need it to be over. We're all hoping. We're desperately hoping that it is just going to, somebody's going to give in. But I don't think they're going to give in. I think that they are fighting. this to the end.

It's the same, because it's the same, like, assholes behind the Amber Hurd Johnny Depp thing. They're just going to try to throw as my, and, you know, and this is happening

in the government right now, too. It's the big strategy, right? We're just going to throw so much ass at your face. We're going to throw so much garbage at your face. I mean, my mouth would be open. I just be like, by the end of it,

you're so distracted by things that have no bearing on reality to, like, actually look at the reality of things. You know? Yeah, you don't even know what you're fighting at that point. But you know, something kind of fun about this. It's like, what are we even talking about?

Is that when you're served a subpoena, it has to be handed to the person, you know, and they have to hold it in their hand and receive it. And so isn't it kind of fun to picture like who the, you know, process server who had to serve the subpoena? I love that you bring that up. I love that you bring that up because I also had that thought. I'm like, how does that even happen? Like, is that probably one of the. You get like Jean Parmesan.

That's like one of the hardest people to gain that. kind of access to probably on the planet. Like, you know, you'd probably have an easier time subpoenaing like Kim Jong-un than Taylor Swift. Gideon was a process server like when he was young, young, young, before he was a lawyer. And, you know, I think you're usually going around doing like pretty thankless things, you know, like you're serving like divorce papers or like, you know, lawsuits that, like usually it's probably a pretty unpleasant job is my guess. And I'll bet that the process server who was like, you have to serve Taylor Swift. Man, what a fun day. That must have been for Yeah, totally.

Or a terrifying day. It's either one or the other. Like, I feel like it's so, like, or you'd be like, I don't want to do that. Please don't make me do that. I get to meet Taylor Swift, but serving her a subpoena. Yeah, in the most negative way possible. That's not what anybody wants. Or it's what you really, really, like, maybe, like, can you imagine the horrible piece of

that was just like, I can't wait to ruin her day. Yeah. You know what I mean? you know that it probably was a kind of person. Somebody's from the Beehive, you mean, you know? Whoa. I don't throw. Well, yeah, it wasn't us.

We didn't do it. We didn't do it. We didn't do it. We didn't do it. We didn't do it. We didn't do it. We didn't do it. I was trying to think of like somebody who doesn't want to serve Taylor because they are a big

fan of somebody else. I'm not saying that Beyonce's fan specifically target Taylor Swift. Oh, by the way, speaking of pop stars, can I just throw this out here how excited I am about the 10 things I hate about you musical that's going to be on Broadway, because the music's being written by Carly Ray Jepson. Oh, that's going to be really good. I did not know about that, and that sounds fabulous. That's going to be real good.

Maybe a bummer for you, but honestly, I think if there was a project for her to do okay and it would be this one, Lena Dunham is also working on the script. You know, we'll see if she's just, you know, let's see what she adds to it. If there was a thing that it's already, the thing's already been made, she's just adapting it. I feel like it's the kind of thing. she could do Disa Jada. You know what? I'm not, Lord knows who Lina Dunham is at this point.

Like she has really, like, she's been, and I'm sure she's been doing stuff this entire time. I have not, I'm going to be real with you, but haven't really followed her career. But I am going to hope that maybe this is like a good new thing that she's working on of like, like this will be, this is going to make her shine. Yeah. I think it's going to make her shine. Like a diamond.

Shine bright like a diamond. and maybe that diamond's on the list. Sing me the song. Oh! Who's on the list? Me. Jackie, got to have that list. An actor who ate real dog poop on camera and 29 other horrifying behind the scenes

about movies that literally made me sick to my stomach. Oh, Jay. Okay. Okay. Good. Excellent. We have to talk about viscous spit enough today. I'm grieving, Jackie.

I'm grieving. I get to be as disgusting as I want. According to Variety, well, this does, I mean, spoiler alert for the end of Triangle of Sadness. In Triangle of Sadness, the captain's dinner scene, which ends in an explosion of seasickness, took multiple days to film. The actors had to wear tubes on their faces, and the S of X-Fex crew pumped fake vomit, including pieces of octopus and shrimp out of it. The scene was so complicated to film that it was planned two years before filming began.

It's gnarly. It's such a good scene. I remember you guys talking about Triagal and Sadden. This movie's so good. I keep meaning to rewatch it. I love it so much. So good. I have also been meaning to rewatch it because that was one that really took me by surprise

how much I loved it. Yeah. And now, of course, there was a lot of crazy shit for the substance. Even just, man, just going through. She said that like apparently, Demi Moore felt like. She was Gallum. She spent seven hours in a makeup chair, and we know that there's 30,000 gallons of fake blood, which is insane. But let's get, let's talk brass tacks of scenes we would want to be a part of or maybe wouldn't want to be a part of.

The Saltburn writer-director Emerald Fennell told Entertainment Weekly the bathtub was the first thing, the first image that came to me. It was a boy saying I wasn't in love with him. and that same boy licking the bottom of a bathtub. So that was the very center of the film for me, this kind of unreliable narrator, somebody who was clearly in the grips of extreme desire and who hasn't yet come to terms with it, who has to find some other way.

She had a clear idea of what the scene would look like, so she had to cut the tub in half enough so that we could feel like we were inside it so that they could get as close to his face as possible, which that, you know, doesn't yuck me out as much as it just is interesting. Very intimate. Yeah. And it's a good scene.

Oh, yeah. It's a good scene, but also sometimes you get the puke mic. This makes me think of Fun House. Pitch Perfect actor, Shelley Regner tweeted, Fun fact, we used Anna Camp's puke mic in all the performance numbers. It wasn't hard to figure out who had the puke mic by the smell. Oh, no. And it's kind of fun because I feel like sometimes when you go into the studio,

you can kind of tell who was recently in the studio, based on the way the spit smells on the microphones. And also sometimes... I'm talking about the various sense of the LPA-Hol's sudden mic. Or how wet. No, headphones are. Yeah, you know, it was me with the headphones. Yeah, that's a...

Well, you know, that just shows the passion. Damp after a nerd of mouth or not. Yeah, damp. Damp is the word he uses. And it's so the nerd podcast, right? Of course, it's the fucking nerd podcast. It's just gross. Yeah, yeah, between me and Mike.

And hopefully Jake soon. He's now looking to make a leap. Make the leap of a leap. Across the continent. This also makes me think of you, Holden, an LPN Funhouse, because if you watch LPN Funhouse, there was a part where I was the Henry Jesuit and I was asking someone, I don't even remember who it was. Not Paul Atreides, though, to put his hand inside of the box.

and so I held the cum jibar to their neck. And what was the cum japar, not in Dune? In Fun House, the cumjabar was a dum-dum that had been sucked on and a bunch of pubs were added to it. Holdens. But in the movie, She's All That, the scene where he had to eat the pizza covered in pubs, it was actually corn silk. So here's the thing, Holden. I guess we could have used corn. I forgot about this scene and she's all that.

I know, first of all. This was so upsetting when it happened. So upsetting. Very, very upsetting. But also, you know, you can't be mean to Kieran Culkin or else you're going to get the court. Absolutely brutal. Yeah, I guess we could have gone that way. I just don't know.

But I do know this, that I have a question for you. Should I watch pitch perfect? I've never seen it. I'll watch pitch perfect. Ooh. Yeah. Yeah. I would do that.

Yeah, I've never seen it. I don't know. I've never seen it either. I feel like it. Yeah. I don't know if I'm sure we would. It might not be a good watch long because I think we just genuinely will enjoy it and think it's good.

Like we kind of need to see, we need to see Brandy's like stupid, I don't know, whatever, Christmas Day or whatever. That's what works well for us. You talking about the Netflix movie where Jackie predicted the child would die and she was a dead kid. Yeah, the child died. Man, yeah. Yeah, lots. I guess Leah, lots of triggers today.

And by the way, at least your dad isn't a child. Yeah, at least he died old. That is a good point. You can go. Hello, dad. Time for you to leave. Is it time? Tick-Tock on the clock. Ready for you to go now.

I've got work to do and I've got spit cups to suck daddy. Or do I have pale ale to suck daddy? Because this weirdly really yucks me out. In American pie, the pale ale that Snifler accidentally drinks, was actually egg whites. Why? Sean William Scott told DVD talk, I really tried to not think about

what it was supposed to be. Every time we did a take, I just drank it and pretended it was a beer. But then that means he had to do it multiple times. Why couldn't it have been almost anything else? Because was the point that, what was the whole bit here? It was you drinking?

Jizz. Yeah. Yeah, we surely we have the technology to create fake juice that isn't going to give you a salmonella. Yeah. Something because that is nesting. I mean, egg whites, though, I will throw it out there.

That's actually a common addition in a cocktail. Sure. It adds like a foamyness and it's, you know. Foamed into something, sure. A bunch of them in a cock. Yeah, that's. In a cup of beer. Narl.

And last but not least, of course, it was on pink flamingos that John Waters decided that the scene where divine eats dog poop was always the end. He continued. It was a publicity stunt basically. and one that would frighten hippies. Divine liked the idea of causing trouble. We were all potheads, so the idea made us laugh. I had a history of knowing about exploitation films and how they worked, and I was trying to make exploitation films for art theaters,

which had never been done. It worked, and I won the contest. I've never tried to top it since, and no one has, really. Maybe Johnny Knoxville, the dog came to the premiere. Amazing. This quote, I mean, it is hilarious. This is a, if you haven't seen Pink Flamingos, you are missing out. This is a classic cinema moment.

It is real dog shit. Divine is incredible all throughout the movie. But if you haven't watched Divine Eat the Dog shit, then you're not living, my friend. Read anything written by John Waters. Watch anything made by John Waters. Go back, listen to the pop history on John Waters that we did. I mean, John Waters is an absolute genius. And honestly, just did a great episode on Everybody's Live with John Mullaney.

I loved that they had John Waters on. Of course. It just made so much sense. And, well, that's my list for you guys. Well, I think I'm struggling to see clearly now the date is gone. And I think I'm going. What? Items.

Oh, my God, Sam. The wife of this permanent A-list actor, who sometimes directs, is hooking up with a guy her own age. There's not a lot of info of this. It's not Alec Baldwin. It is not Alec Baldwin. A list director. A list actor, sometimes director. You just talked about this couple, actually.

Jackie, you and Kira recently talked about this couple. Not De Niro. They had a little bit of news recently about how great they are. Oh, George Clooney and a mall? Yes, how they never fight. Maybe they never fight because she is hooking up with someone her own age. Yeah. I learned that the hard way.

It's not good to never fight. Nah, man. It's not good. And also, you know, it's like goes back to the Hugh Grant story, you know, of like a, how does one cheat on a George Clooney? But everybody, even George Clooney can get cheated on. Yeah. Yeah. No one is, no one is, is absolved.

Yeah, well, he's 64. She's 47. I don't even think that's like that egregious of it. They met, you know, what, like, they were both. Yeah. And in my brain, he's like a forever bachelor, which I don't even know if that is how he acts. But in my brain, I was like, well, he's got the brain of a child. So, I mean, I imagine it.

Although I just assume she's far superior than he is. I stand this relationship. This blind actually really devastates me because I love her. I love him. But I will say this. I think there's always some karmic stuff going on when people get really braggadocious about how. Karma's a bitch and you should have known better. Absolutely, dude.

it's some jojo shit happens as soon as you go on the record, talk about how just perfect and amazing your marriage or relationship is. You know what you mean? Yeah. And if you're just like, yeah, we never fight. It's just perfect and never own up to the fact that there's like probably it's not all roses and perfect. Then you're just, you're doomed, I feel like. It is a weird thing to say.

Even if it's somehow true, it's just a weird, like what, especially for like a, very, like, careful in practice. Like, I feel like all their press is very careful. Like, they're not a messy couple at all. No. She's, like, a professional. And, you know, he's also just very, he's been very good at maintaining his image all this time. So when that little bit came out, I was just like, what is the aim here?

Why is this, why is this what they're putting out, you know? Right. So yeah, maybe you're right. Maybe they're trying to cover for her cheating with a 47-year-old. Steppen young. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Totally.

All right. Well, this one's kind of fun. A concert in nine days. is in one of the most, in one of the most visited cities in the world. Tickets to the concert, starring this former A-plus-less singer can be found for less than $20. Katie Perry? Oh, yeah.

Is that the Brazil one that they were talking about? It's Las Vegas. Oh, yeah, oh, and now I was thinking of, yes. And the source and the blind is just a link to stub hub, proving that the tickets are less than $20. You know, it's so annoying, though, also. Wow, this performer's so bad. Their concert tickets are actually reasonable.

affordable. Ew. Why aren't they $1,000 to your heart? And no one can go, but the very rich. I know. I know that you've been upset about the, rightfully, upset about the concert ticket cost for some time. But you could see Katie Perry do those dance moves.

We could go to Vegas. 20 feels low. Maybe you should go to Vegas again. 20 feels low to me. I agree. But tickets should be in the nosebleeds. I still believe like 60 bucks or something. You know what I mean?

Like, it's just absurd. Like. No, you can get in there. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, that 20 is a little bit low, but it just makes me miss the days when you could just pay 20 bucks and go see a fucking good show or a bad show. Also, I do appreciate. And I want to say thank you to anybody that wrote into page 7 podcast at gmail.com when we were talking about ticket prices and talking about that like, you know, the artists do have a lot more say. And I feel like a lot of times we're saying like, oh, but all these people are buying it up and they're making it.

So it's like, no, the artist could be helping more. Right. They could be helping more. Yeah. Right. No, they also want as much money as they can get. Yeah. It's also, to be fair, it's to pay, you know, many, many, many people.

And I do understand that. And also how expensive it is to put on these shows. And I do get that. And I appreciate you to anybody that wrote in explaining that because that does make sense. My counter argument to that is the artists used to make way more money. And by way more, I mean, any money at all on, like, album sales. Yes.

But now with streaming, they make no money with that. So that's a difficult situation to be in where it's like you make all your money touring. And so the money people involved in the tour, you're like, well, here's how to maximize that. And it would be very challenging knowing that it's the only place you're really going to make your money, you're nut, your dirty nut. Oh, did somebody say nut? Grunky.

I got one more blind. I got one more blind. No. For the big... Keep that butt hole out of here. Okay. For the big event last night, this actor offspring traveled with his boyfriend rather than the girlfriend, quote unquote, his parents wish was real. This one's spicy.

Timothy? No. Damn. I know he's with Kylie, but what a... God, just let me dream. Let me dream. Okay, what are we talking here? So obviously we're talking about the Met Gala, right?

We're talking about the Met Gala. Okay. And we, so we're talking, we're talking young, we're talking to Starlet. We're talking to a young actor. Actor. And he traveled with his boyfriend, allegedly. But in public, he has a girlfriend. Apparently at the behest of his also famous parents.

Aha. Okay. It's not Jack Quaid. Famous parents. Nepo. And try and think of the. We're in an abundance of nepoes right now. It's hard to be.

Yeah, that's tough. Nepos are going wild, and so many of them are good. Brian Cranston's daughter, looking at you. Oh, my God, she's so good. We love her. Brad Durav's daughter. Oh, no, actor. This is another nepo who we like, or at least.

It's not a sports person. Not a sports person. No one is an actor. Okay. Who. An actor, not Jack Quaid, but one that we like. and one that is not straight and I'm going to be excited that they're not straight?

It's more of a good for them if they're not straight. Okay, okay, not for me. We spent a lot of time talking about this guy recently because of the popularity of the show that he was on. Pedro Pascal. No, he doesn't have a girlfriend. The bear. He's not an EPO baby.

Jackie! Gurg! You can think straight through your grief. The bear man. My problem is the grief because I think I can only think of female. I'm like Zoe Kravitz. Maya Hawk. I'm like, what are I? I'm trying. I know. In fact, I even just straight up looked up a little. Boy. Baby in a popular show recently, very popular show that everybody was talking about constantly.

White Lotus. Oh, my, our Schwarzenegger. Patrick Schwarzenegger. God damn it. Patrick Schwarzenegger, allegedly has a beard. Okay. Abby Champion is the girlfriend. Apparently she's a beard. That's hot. Will watch. Yeah, are you happy? That is hot. Yeah, he's not my type, but you're right. It is more in my brain.

It is a good for him. But I hope that it's a good for him that like, I hope you do get to live the life you want to lead. I know. I hope that too. So, I mean, and all the headlines, like, his engagement could be in trouble. But, like, his engagement just might be in trouble

because he just skyrocketed into incredible fame very quickly. And that's got to put a strain on our preexisting. And also for what happened in the show as well, I imagine there's also probably a lot of discussion about him that is not in his control. His partner is a fashion model, though.

She is very pretty. Oh, I mean, she's got his Emmy champion. She is a stunner. But, oh, I kind of just want this to be true. I don't know why. Well, I want him to be with La La Lisa. You know what I mean?

Yeah, that was cute. Oh, God, was that, is it Lisa at the Met Gala? Did you see Lisa? The Metcala. Yes. So hot. And by the way,

I wanted to bring this up because this kind of shit, this kind of shit annoys the hell out of me. And then the story was Lisa offends the world with her Rosa Parks on her vagina panties or whatever. They say, I don't know what they refer to them as.

You know what I mean? Ever look called me where vagina panties? And then literally like three days later, it was like, they actually weren't Rosa Parks. It was just like a native. of the designer, but, you know, whatever. So it's just like, I'm so over this thing where we just, now everybody thinks. There was a couple of controversies around the Met Gala.

Yeah, I'm so dumb with this crap where it's not even real. I know. You know what I mean? I didn't even, we didn't get into it today, but my most, my take that makes me feel the most like a boomer ever is that like, even if Dochi did yell at some people in a moment, I don't think that makes you a workplace abuser. Like, this is not a part of a, like, a pattern of. like documented abusive behavior.

I think if she had a moment of like, hold the fucking umbrellas. I think that that's okay. And this is my boomer opinion on that. And to piggyback on that too, my other boomer opinion is like, oh, so she's allowed to be like aggressive and like, I don't want to say the word a bitch,

but you know what I mean. Like she's allowed to be like angry and fucking go hard in her music. But like when she does something like that in real life, oh my God, no. Right. I struggled with that story. I was like obviously like you should treat your workers well and et cetera, but one instance of having a freak out when you are literally on the carpet and you're trying to make a bunch of that comes together. Also it's your first time at the Metgala and everybody knows that at the Metgala the whole moment is that moment.

Everybody knows that she is there for not only for herself but her team. Yes. The designer. So much money. That's a lot riding on her. She yelled something. Also, I don't yell at people, but every once in a while, if you're like, I'm going to play sub-carus.

Yes, yes. I really think what, yes, this whole, like, treat workers like you treat the CEO. Yes, of course, yes. Also, I do think that one instance of a celebrity yelling at people in a really dense moment like that, let's all calm. It's a big of breath. I'm so, keep it moving. I'm so sick of the double standard people have now where, like, they love somebody's music

and this is their music. Oh, fuck. And I'm not saying, do you. she's like this, but I'm fucking crazy. I'm a maniac. And then they like act like a crazy maniac in real life because they're talking about themselves and who they are. And everyone's like, how dare?

The person whose number one hit is called crazy maniac is acting like a crazy maniac. That was just a two online. Yeah, it was just a two online. Sometimes we're all just too online. Too online. Let's go cheap online. Yeah. You know.

a little too delicate. Yes. Yes. You're fine, dochi. Yeah, that really, that new cycle pissed me off. It did piss me off. Especially, it's like, come on, give me a break. Dochi's the best part of Florida right now. Can we just, it's like, it's the one win Florida has. Did the famous athlete act like a famous athlete on the road, even though they're married? Oh, oh, wow. Shocker. And if we're going to talk about like, you know, I just, like, you're really going to, I feel like there's, it's not great politics to accuse a black woman of being like a horrible angry person either, right?

Because who also do they do this to Cardi B? And it's like, oh, it's like, oh, very interesting. It's like, oh, very interesting. Yeah, of course it is. Of course it is. You're not allowed to have a moment of, of, you know, of emotion in a, yeah, in a red carpet. Yeah, exactly. Meanwhile, the shit, Liam.

Michelle has said to people. And yet she still is working at all. Yes, which by the way, if you don't remember why we delight in making fun of Leah Michelle for not being able to read, there is just an abundance of people accusing her of on the set racism and homophobia.

And also, homophobia and transphobia. And so, it's not recently gathered by a Bech's article six days ago because of that. I'm not saying let people be angry, let people be shitty either. I'm saying, give some people some fucking grace. Yes, I think that's right. I think we can we can assume that people again, patterns of

workplace abuse different than a single instance that we need to respond to. Yeah, because if you're going to condemn this, you also have to condemn chapel for some shit, right? But you probably won't, right? So let's think about that for a second before we condemn snap, snap, snaps. Snap, bids. And no one's allowed to write us any mean comments about this one because of Jackson's I'm not me, dog. I'll fucking respond to your shitty comment. Directly. I would love to hear how offended you are about this and respond to it directly.

All right, cool. Wait, what happens now? I'm so confused. Yeah, you can see. You can see again. We have snacks. And now it's time. Oh, no, it's Jackie.

Snack is what snacks you're gonna eat today. And we, also, MJ, you need to come up with your own MJ's Minute Munchy's theme song. I got my man, But I'm hopping on your... Munching, munching, munching, munchies man at munchies. Munchin, muncheon, muncheon, muncheon, Muncheon, land. Is that why you're sticking back?

Actually, I was thinking of more of brush and brush and brush. I'm with a new eyed toothpaste from Greece. Remember the... Holden likes to eat two things, pussy! And snacks. There you go. See, and that's Holdens. And I did ask Holden, now we are not because Holden is in his COVID trap.

We are not... I'm not sharing my snacks with anyone today. So I just brought in something that is limited edition, but I was so curious if it tasted the same. We're all recording remotely. Y'all know I love chewy fucking fruity. I love it chewy. I love fruity.

One of my number one things that I love to chew down on, Swedish motherfucking fish. But recently, Swedish fish put out a limited edition. They glow in the dark. Oh my God. Cool. Swedish fish. They're called Swedish fish glow-ups.

Wow. And it says with edible confetti that glows under black light. Oh, my Lord. I'm going to have to get this for my children, Jackie. You're going to have to get this for your children. And I will say, you're welcome because your children are not currently on this. And if they're listening to the show, MJ, I have a couple of other ones. But it is weird because they are orange.

You have to hold them under a lamp and then take them into like the dark bathroom, which is what my kids do when something glows in the dark. Dang, it's too bad because Jeff always has multiple black lights on him. I just don't know where he keeps them in the house when they're not on his person. Is he a forensic scientist? He works with blacklight paint, blacklight reactive paint. So usually when he's selling, he likes to show it. But also, because of that, Jeff always gets his nails done specifically with nail colors

that are black light reactive as well. Oh, that's fun. So these smell definitely, they say, they say, they're strawberry watermelon, which makes me upset because I didn't realize that they probably aren't going to taste like regular Swedish fish. Strawberry watermelon sounds like a good combo, though. Nice. How we feel in?

How we chew and how we fruit. You know, okay, taste is great. They do not taste like regular Swedish fish. They do taste more watermelon-y than a regular Swedish fish. I think Swedish fish are a little borough snoro. Sorry. I love Swedish fish. But they are boros nor.

but something that I love about Swedish fish and something that I get from a Swedish fish that I do not get from my other chewy fruities is the specific chewiness of a Swedish fish. And this Swedish fish does not have that. These are definitely more like regular, I feel they're more, they're harder than your average gummy. But they definitely feel more like regular gummies.

Like, you know what they are? They're more like fruit snacks than they are. Oh, okay. I like a fruit. I'm kind of in the same, I'm kind of in the same line as you, you know, so here's what I got going on. Did you steal some of Winnie's Snackies? Yeah, baby. Hell, yeah, what you got, son?

I was curious about this because, you know, Winnie, of course, has a sweet tooth now. She loves pops, popsicles of lollipops especially. And so, of course, Lexi, rightfully, went and looked for some healthier pops. So I have two different ones to try. We've got Dr. John's healthy sweets. Those look like the most boring. boring fucking lollipops I've ever seen in my life. And I'm only

mean package-wise. I mean, no, the lollipops look like regular, wonderful. There's no way a kid would know. But I'm just saying package-wise, that is the most boring, brutal. It looks like a textbook filled with lollipops. And then we also have smart sweets. See, smart sweets have cutie. Yeah, they're

right here. One gram of sugar. So these are sugar-free for the Dr. Johns. One gram of sugar for the smart sweets. I feel like if my kids even saw the packaging, they would be like, no, something's wrong with this. No. That's real fruit. No, thank you. So I'm gonna try each one.

I've got a red. I don't think they're the same flavor because I think one's watermelon, maybe the other one's like strawberry. But whatever. I love this. I love this. Hell yeah.

Get to suckin, son. Because I do a lot of zero sugar stuff in the house. Even though I know a lot of people, it's like you're not supposed to eat a lot of any of it. But I do really like, I've been trying to add more zero sugar things. Yeah. Honestly, what do you think?

This is legit. I like this. Yeah. What is that, is that the smart sweets? This is the zero sugar-free. Wow. No, Dr. John's healthy sweets. That's the Dr. Johns.

Healthy sweets. I'm going to guess she got these, by the way, from Whole Foods, if you were curious. Okay. My guess is she got these. These look like Whole Foods buys. They do look boring. I'm going to try here. Take a sip of water.

I'm going to try the other one. I love, see, this is how we know these things. What if you, it's like, well, I want to get a good one for my kid that's not, like, filled with sugar. I would, yeah, I would buy them if they're good. Ooh. Oh, the smart sweets. Now this is what's sending me. The other ones taste more like a traditional,

the Dr. Johns tastes more like a straight-up lollipop. This kind of tastes like a jolly rancher, which I fucking love, dude. The smart sweets. Oh, okay. I love this. Lexi's texting me. We've got one was from Amazon.

Dr. Johns was from Amazon. Okay. But also, the smart sweets does a good version of a Swedish fish. The smart sweets really are not a bad choice, at least the kinds that I've tried. are really a good, now, don't get me wrong, if I was like 11 and I'd be like, this doesn't taste the same.

Like, you know, if the kid already knows what they taste like, I'm sure. That's the thing. Once my kids discovered, like, Fritos, it was really hard to get away with, like, the seed crackers I had been trying to convince for, like, satisfying and crunchy snacks. I love that in bluey when they do have the real ketchup.

Not the, like, they're like, this is incredible. Oh, yeah, because it's filled with sugar. So yeah. Okay, this is what I'm going to say. So if your kid likes Jolly Ranchers, go with the smart sweets. Okay. I love Jolly Ranchers, by the way.

I really like both. The Dr. Johns tastes more like a legit kind of straight up lollipop more. More so. Okay. And has Winnie tried them yet? Does she like them? Mm-hmm. Excellent.

Yeah, Winnie approved for sure. I'm not sure which one she likes more. Maybe he'll text me about that in a second. But honestly, I'm pretty bold over by these. And I'm always looking for it because right now, you know, I'm trying to drink a lot less. So, and I'm trying not to replace that with like bullshit calories. So I'm always on the lookout. Like my favor right now would just be zero sugar ginger ale, you know.

Ooh, yeah. Is like taste like ginger ale. Because I can't just hang with like, you know, zero sugar stuff that like I just, I can taste the not real. You know what I mean? I purchased it again. That zero sugar seven up endless summer is like. It's like a strawberry watermelon zero sugar. That shit falls.

Yeah. No, I love that. I want to put vodka in it. All right. What do you got? What do you got, MJ? I am trying to make my snacks kind of New Yorkish, at least, you know, New York centric.

Hell yeah. I love this. The other day I was at the playground and a mom offered me a bag of apples covered in Tahine. Cabo. So a lot of new... Welcome to the West Coast! Yes, right.

So Tahin is like chili peppers, salt and lime, Mexican spice mix. And in New York, I always see it on mangoes. A lot of the like corner icy carts and stuff that sell mangoes. With the Chamoy. Yeah, we'll sell mangoes with Tahin. And so I had had it on mangoes before, but I had never had it on apples. And I was like, you can put this on apples. And she was like, you can put it on everything.

So I've been eating it on apples obsessively. It's so good. It will make your apple taste like a toki. Bro, and get some chamoi. I'm telling you, son. Get some chamoid, too. So today I am trying the tahine on pineapple. Oh, bro, welcome to your life.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, dude. Oh, that's the dance. Sorry for chewing right into the mic, but yes. No, it is. That's it, man.

That's it. I love this tahin future for you. I'm in love with Tahit and I'm putting it on all the fruit. It's so good. It's so funny that you say that as a New York thing because I see it now so much. Because like it I don't know. I can't even say SoCal. I mean, I live in SoCal so I see it in SoCal all the time.

Like the fruit carts that you see everywhere here like you see the hot dog carts in New York. Yeah, yeah. But here it's just the fruit carts are everywhere. And it's fresh chopped fruit and they put the Chimoi and the Tahin on it. and oh my God on a hot day. Yeah, yeah. Ooh, some cold spicy fruit. Oh, bitch.

I've also been putting the tahin on avocado, like avocado toast. And you'll have to put anything else, man. It's just so good. So, yeah, maybe it's not New Yorkie. I learned about, I was at first exposed to tahin in New York. I mean, it's not, it's not an American. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I mean, it's not, you know, I believe it's, I think it's just, you know,

the beauties of Mexican culture. Yeah. But also when he updates she prefers the Dr. Johns. Wow. So she's not a jolly rancher head the way daddy is. It makes sense because like I said, these are more traditional tasting lollipops. All right.

Man, it sounds like what she might be hungry for next is Butterfly kisses. Oh, no. My daddy's dead. Little white flowers all up in her hair. Lexi, you need to stop. Lexi, Jackie, do you stop singing the song so you can grieve? You call me, Lexi!

I'm your wife for now. It's fine. I don't even care anymore. I'm the wife. I call Jackie Freddie sometimes, and I don't know what that means about our relationship. I'll take it. You can call me anything except late for dinner. And if you do, I'm going to fucking bust down the fucking door.

I'm going to take all the dinner off the fucking table. And I was like, oh, yeah, you're not going to be a-h-h-h-da-da-da-da-da-h. Thank you everybody for joining me on this week's grief episode of page seven. I hope that the, I hope my grief was not too much. I didn't cry, which I am proud of myself. And it's okay to cry. Thank you. And you can be proud of yourself. I appreciate that. And I thank you very much. I'm grieving. And the amount of times I've said I'm grieving to people to try. And, you know, Henry and I did just thing one and thing two our way through the entire state of Florida. So we've told a lot of people we're grieving. Anyway, thank you guys. And thank you

Holden. And thank you for being along Sutton. Thank you so much, holding for coming in and sucking on your suckers and giving us the smiles that we so desperately craved upon this day. And thank you, Grunkey. We couldn't. You know what? And you know what? Gronky, if there was no Holden, there would be no gronke. But we have to have Holden. So we have to have you too. And we appreciate it. Home? No, we're not talking about home. My name is Jackie Spruski. Follow me on Instagram and Jack. That worm. Come hang out with us right in. Go to who's the bitch.com. Hit us up with your problems. That is a different show. It's a different show. It's a different show. Go there.

But you could, they can email. They can do that. But they can email there. And that's a different show that I do. But you can also email there if you want to, if you've got a bituation, I'll hear about it there. But if you want to talk to us about Celebrity Gossip and the things that we talk about on this show that we're currently recording, you can hit us up on Page 7 Podcast. You could also go to our Patreon, which is patreon.com slash page 7 podcast. There you've got Jackie's Book Club and Celebrities at the $5 tier. We just finished Julia Foxes down the drain. We are about to start Hilaria Baldwin's Manuel, not included. At the $10 tier, you've got our Buffy watch along.

Holden will have to have you join us again for that soon. Oh, yeah. Let's do it. I'm MJ and I'm on J K LKat on Instagram. Hold on that or so on Twitch. Yeah, check that out. Check out. Honestly, I'm going to give a plug out. Shout out to Sina. Go subscribe to the Foreign Report on YouTube.

It got its own channel and we weren't trying to get as many people on. I mean, subscribe if you want to watch it and enjoy a really strong new political show out of the network. Sina, Travis, Irvine, Marcus is making. made it a great recent appearance on there. So please, if you're interested in that sort of thing, go to the Foreign Report and hit subscribe. That's it. Hell yeah.

Thanks for having me, guys. All right. Thank you so much for being here, Holden. And thank you, everybody, for grieving alongside me. I just want to say thank you in advance. I'm sure that you guys will be reaching out. And I already appreciate you. And I just appreciate you for listening and for being around.

We love you, everybody, and we'll be back next week. Hell, yeah. Take care. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to,

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