Page 7 - Vow Renewal - I'm The Holden Today w/ Natalie Jean

Episode Date: May 22, 2025

This week LPN's resident Big Sister Natalie Jean crashes the slumba parta to dish on what dance movies are and are NOT Real Dancer Approved, MJ is feelin' Pope-positive, and Jackie's jealous of Pope Bob's MEAT until she adjusts her crown and remembers WHO SHE IS. A Woman In Total Control (of) Hotdogs. Natalie introduces everyone to a new phrase while talkin' 'bout the controversy surrounding CANNES, which just leads to Jackie giving us a street phrase lesson no one wanted. Nuts out for the alpha male as the eternal question is asked; big testies or lil testies, which do they prefer? Jackie and Henry are trying to grief watch all the 'John Wick's without seeing the dog scene again BECAUSE IT DOES NOT NEED TO EXIST DEREK KOLSTAD, Jamie Lee Curtis got plastic surgery at 25 because some scumbag cinematographer sucks at his job and blamed her face instead of doing some self-reflection, MJ and Jackie suffered through all of 'Manual Not Included'  SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO! And yes, they do in fact talk shit on you, HILARIA. Lotta people are still mad at Sarah Silverman, AND SO MUCH MORE! Then it's time for a list with a title longer than the list itself, 'Plot Driven Bits of Movie Trivia That'll Have Ur Mom Askin' 'Wait, What's Goin' On? I Thought He Was The GOOD GUY!?'', the Blindz, and a seriously savory Jackie's Snackies with MJ's Munchie Minute from 1:08:31.980 til 1:16:29.555!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

This one goes out to you. I want to be with you. If only the senior I'm still, oh, be with you. If only on a motorcycle, and maybe you're a dance teacher and we should not. Inappropriate.

Inappropriate. Sorry, MJ. Sorry, MJ. Natalie and I were having a bit of a center stage moment over here. And yeah, it's not that I just look at Natalie and think, oh, Mandy Moore is here. But I would say Mandy Moore in 2003 is here. Come on. I was a bit more of a step up bitch than a center stage bitch. But I'll hear Natalie's thoughts on center stage.

Ouch. But I guess we should welcome you to the show before that, because you're not allowed to speak, Natalie. Everyone is in a cage. And I know that I opened up the world because you thought, oh, maybe we could just immediately start talking about center stage, but we can. You have to wait until you're brought into the show. No, you got to, you got to wait. All right.

We can't talk about, we can't talk about how inappropriate it was, even though it's what we all wanted. I'll open the cage. You may know her as the sister-in-law of Jackie Zabrowski, first and foremost. Most important. Most importantly. Thank you. You may know her as a long time, page seven, regular and pop history host, and you also may know her from someplace underneath. And LPN Deep Dives.

Everyone, welcome back, the wonderful Natalie Jean. I'm so happy to be here. Yes, and we're so happy. So, yeah, MJ, Natalie and I do talk about center stage quite often. And I do think that we've watched it together multiple times. Oh, yeah. And I apologize, MJ, that you never went through the perfection of being obsessed with being a dancer, even though at least Natalie was and is a dancer.

And I am not a dancer. and I was just watching me like, it must be so hard. They have to. They have to have eating disorders. Don't you see how difficult it is for them to exist? Is what's her name? The lovely Julia Stiles, is she center stage or am I thinking of a different dance movie? Whoa.

Whoa. You just stepped into a business. Oh, you about to get stung. You better get stung. No. Oh, so, okay. So there were the two ballet movies from that era. Yeah.

So there was center stage, which is using real ballet dancers. Oh, okay. And then there was. And Zoe Zeldon. Oh, yeah. But, okay, but we got to say, even with those dancers here, this is the difference. So the, um, the Julia Stiles one, which I'm literally blocking out of my memory. Save the Last Dance.

Is not a good representation of ballet dancers. Uh-oh. Why? Julia Stiles is... You know what? It's not our fault. Listen, it's not a fault. Don't you dare say anything bad about her.

Let me preface this conversation with that. I love her. I love her. Not in this house. You won't get sung by bees. Not her fault. But somebody who didn't know how to blend a real ballet dancer with Julia Stiles, directed that movie, I guess.

Why she was made for hip-hop. You could tell. It's not even just the hip-hop. It's that it's doing the thing. If you've never seen Cannibal the musical, you'll not know what I'm talking about, but there's a scene when Trey Parker is doing ballet and the faraway shot is a real ballet dancer. And when you zoom in on him, it looks...

I'm sorry, you bring up Goodpud? You're talking about the bit we did on Goodpud because obviously that came first. Thank you very much. Yes, of course. As is famously Goodput. Thank you. When you zoom in on his face, he's very cartoonishly, obviously not doing a good job. But they did that in Julius Stiles' movie, but,

not ironically. Oh, no. That makes sense. Wow. She is not trained in the art of ballet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whereas Center Stage, they blend half the cast as real professional dancers and the ones who aren't have ballet.

Zoe Saldana had ballet training. So when they did the close-ups, she knew how to like hold her arms correctly and stuff. And it made sense. So Center Stage, I'm glad that we had this conversation. I really talked to talk about this. Yes. You need to get this out. I was in love with it because it was very sexy

And there was a scene that, you know, this dance teacher that she wanted to bang, you also drove a motorcycle And so, of course, you always want to have sex on a motorcycle, even though no one really wants to. But I think that that was something I really, really wanted when I was younger. And so I expected them to have sex on the motorcycle. But what do they do? No, spoiler alert for the end of center stage. They bring the motorcycle onto the stage. and then they dance fuck around it instead.

Yeah. Yeah, I love a dance fuck. Yes. I love a dance movie. Yes. I'm glad to know what dance movies are respected by dancers and what dance movies are not respected by dancers. But it was.

Ethan Stifle, right? Ethan Stifle is the instructor. And I was so completely in love with him. But I think, unfortunately, was just because he kind of reminded me of Eric Stoltz as the teacher in Little Women. And that's why I wanted to kiss him. He's actually one of those little golden gooses of straight. He's a straight man.

I'm going to put him down a tube. He's a straight man. And he married a woman in real life as well. So straight dancer. Oh, wow. That was a golden goose. That was probably the wrong terminology, but I didn't think of it. No, I just imagine him now he's like the guy in the one movie when she gets fingered.

But I think we brought this up last time you're on. Bring it on. Bring it on. Yeah. MJ is just looking stuck. I was with it. I haven't seen bringing it out a little while. I actually want to show it to my kids, but now maybe I'll wait.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't. I mean, ask Natalie if you want to wait. I mean, the kids won't understand the fingering scene. No. Yeah, yeah. I think it was just the casual nature of the 90s assaults were just kind of like fun. Oh, yes.

Yeah, they were a Peppa's back then. Now I remember. Yes. Oh, God. Yeah. Did I bring this up last time we were on? But the problem is Natalie, when you come on this show, Natalie and I speak to each other so often that I forget what is said into microphone and what is not said into a microphone. Yeah. No, this is, it's all coming back to me now. But again, this could have a private conversation. All right. You ain't stiff. You having a good time. I'm talking about Celine Dion. Oh, I see. You're calling me a stiff woman because of Stiff woman.

No, just a stiff person. It's stiff person, please. MJ, anyone can be stiff in this life, okay? She just happens to be a stiff woman, all right? I, you know, guys, I just want to say thank you to everybody that has reached out to our family over the last week. I just want to throw that out there because our family includes Natalie as well. And I know that you've been reached out too. And I just want to say thank you to everybody.

And thank you for understanding. I have feelings. and I keep begging my therapist Can I stop feeling like this? But apparently, it's only just begun. And I hate that it's only just begun. Oh, that makes me think of 1408. Ooh, I wish my current reality was 1408

instead of what I'm doing right now. I do truly wish that. Isn't that where it's like every time he closed the door, you open it and it's a new world? He's stuck in the room. He can't leave and it starts to torture him. No, I want the opposite of that. I want a narnia that I,

have and I keep this my narnia, but no one else is allowed to use it unless I allow them to like the short story, Ray Bradbury's The Velt. That is different than 14-0-8. It is different from 1408, but I would have loved to have trapped my mom in the serengeti and let the lions eat her. But we're not talking about all the parents dying this week. We need to talk about this thought. Ah! The Velt! That was my every single.

I wanted that room. MJ, do you remember the Velt? It was like where they had a fake, like you walked into the room. The whole house was run by robots. And then the kids had their own playroom. And the mother was like barely around, didn't really give a shit about the kids. But they were allowed to go into this playroom where they could create any magical environment that they would want.

And it was never ending. So it's like then they were just in this world. But what they ended up doing is they realized they could create a Velt. They can create a Serengeti. and they end up trapping their mother inside of the serengeti and she does not know how to get out and they leave her there. That's a little bit... That's what bad mommies get.

I never read that. That's a bad, bad, bad mommies get. That's a little bit haunting because it does sort of represent what cell phones have done to people. Interesting. Wow. Are we all the veldt. You know, Bray Bradbury was an insightful motherfucker, wasn't he?

Yeah, dude. That little bitch. I love it. I'm just kidding. It's fine. He's fine. Bradbury was my eh. I really, really was a, I was a Bradhead over here. That makes me want to read this story. Dude. And it was a short story. It was like one, in one of the like compendiums that he had. And I was just, oh, I loved Ray Bradbury short stories. Highly recommend it's a great thing to keep on a Kind of. If you just want to read something short. I used to do it on my short subway trips. I'm just saying.

Read a little short story. Before there was Wi-Fi on the Subways, you would just read a book. Yeah. And before. our popes were coming from Chicago. Yeah, and they're bringing their malort with them. Chicago Pope. I had a moment. So my mom grew up in a very... My God, it's like Chicago Hope.

Like Chicago Hope. My mom grew up Irish Catholic, very, very, like... There was a great New York Times article about the, like, kind of like Catholic enclaves of a previous generation that don't really exist anymore where it was just like, you really didn't know... It was like a little, these little insular worlds, right? like you went to church with everyone. You went to everyone you knew was Catholic.

You went to the same, you know, Catholic school as you're, you know, same with your church and all of that. And like that, the insularness of that world doesn't really exist anymore. And I was reading this and it was about the Pope being from Chicago, from one of these little south side of Chicago Catholic enclaves. And I was, I was like, does my mom know the Pope? And then I like, asked my mom that she did the Pope. She was like, there was a lot of Catholics in Chicago at that time.

But I then realized that I need to get excited about the Catholic Chicago Pope because I grew up with a bunch of Chicago Catholics. And it's a great culture. I mean, Chicago full of great culture anyway. But, you know, there's just so many we can talk about the bear. That's so interesting. We can talk about Mallort. I've never, I've spent so much time in Chicago. Both my parents are from Chicago, but I have never drank Malort.

And I think we've got to go find some. Jackie Snackies, maybe next week. I mean, I have had Mallort before. MJ, we have to tell you a secret. Yeah, this is a confession for you. Well, you were, you were busy creating life. Creating life. Oh, you went to Chicago.

And we went to Chicago and page seven. With page seven. And I believe that we were on the AV club. Oh, you drank Malort on the AV club. We drank, but the worst part was that we had gotten to Chicago the day before. it was, I think, negative 10, like degrees, but then the feels like was like negative 30s, you know, was one of those. Yeah. And I had food poisoning because what they don't tell you, which everyone needs to know, is that if bean sprouts come to temperature, you can never eat them.

You cannot ever let bean sprouts come to temperature. They must always be cold. and if you put them onto a Jimmy John sandwich, do not bring that sandwich onto a plane because you can get E. coli so, so easily. It's so, because it's all whey. No one's just going on a wet. Oh, baby.

And Jeff and I were just tag teaming the one toilet that we had in the Chicago hotel room. But the next morning, we had to wake up and they were so excited because we had never had Mallort before. And they were also so excited because I'm the hot dog ambassador. So they were so excited to bring me Chicago dogs and Mallort. And I, oh, and it was 9 a.m.

You handled yourself. You go back and you watch that video, and I never brought up the fact that I had food boising and in between literally every question I would go and just puke and puke and puke and puke. And then honestly, the Mallort, I knew I was probably going to puke up anyway. But, man, they don't tell you,

about the malort pukes are really what the problem. I've heard about the malort pews. Oh, yeah. I can only imagine that coming back up. Oh, it's no good. I can't believe you've never had malort. I can't believe it either. I think it was most of the time that I spent in Chicago was when I was a child, so that's

probably why. Oh, so you were cool yet. Boring. Because, yeah, your parents were squares and I'm sorry for you. But, yeah, then I met, in my adulthood, I met a bunch of Chicago leftists. the Occupy time, and they were all, they would just go on and on about Mallort. And so I really feel like I have an affinity for this drink that I've never had. But I completely forgot that you not only took page seven on tour to Chicago, but got to drink

Malort on camera. And what everyone says is that it's just kind of impossible to describe. Yeah. And I genuinely can't believe you, you don't remember that of all of the things that happened in the first quarter of 2020. Yeah, I can't believe you don't remember that. M-J. On camera, obviously is the main thing.

So you don't care about us at all. And I'm very upset. Fresh in the dome. Yeah, 2020. My favorite ear. It is, really, it's hard to describe. And it is awful. It's awful.

I mean, absolutely awful. But you do need to have, you have to. Yeah. I don't know if we're legally allowed to have it in California. No. But if you come back out here, we could. I'm sure. I'm sure we could.

I'm sure we could find. But I feel like you need to have it in Chicago. Yeah. I do feel like I need to have it in Chicago. And we did, of course, take the page seven tour back to Chicago in the year 2022, I think. But we didn't drink malort then. No, Mallort then either. And I didn't have Chicago.

God. That was a family emergency. That was a whole other thing. There was a family emergency in Chicago. There was a family emergency in Chicago. Oh, I don't remember. Yeah. Oh, I remember, baby.

I remember. But, you know, we made. It's like it through the highs and the lows of high school football. Now I'm just cycling back through the family traumas. Dog attack. Dog attack. Dog attack. Yes, okay.

I'm with you. It was the dog attack. Oh my God, my family is so overdramatic. I'm always like, oh, it's always got to be, oh, it's not just attacked by a dog. It's like, oh, it was crazy. But what's really crazy is the fact that Pope Bob is getting his own Italian beef. The reason I brought it up because I feel like there's so much, I know nothing about Pope Bob. I don't know anything about, you know, about the world that he's taking over.

I know that he's the first American Pope. The only thing that I care about is the fact that this is big that Porteos, the Italian beef specialists, are given Pope his own sandwich. I hope it's a heterostrate sandwich. Oh, don't you worry. Nothing gay about this sandwich, all right? good. They call him roast beef lips for a reason, all right? No, this is the straightest goddamn sandwich you'll ever see. But I don't, you know, I'm happy for him that he gets his own sandwich. And I feel like, you know what? I feel bad for the other popes because I feel like the other popes weren't getting their own sandwiches. Yeah. I don't feel anything for any Pope. I'm just going to go out and record and saying that. I used to be Pope neutral to Pope negative, but I really think that between Francis and this guy, I think I'm turning Pope Popper. You think you might like it? I think I might like it.

Yeah, you know. It's complicated. There was a great tweet that was like, this Pope doesn't like abortion or gay people, but he does like immigration and poor people. And then the quote tweet was just like, I think the new Pope might be Catholic. Yeah, right.

So I think you get some good stuff and then you get some stuff that we're still working on. The main problem is all the Catholicism. That's really quite Catholic. Although it was very cute because I saw some video of him calling his brother to death. him he was the Pope, but his brother didn't answer the phone. Oh, so he's like a, I'm just like, oh.

Yes. He gets no, I wish I had my own fucking sandwich. I want to be a Pope just so I can have my own sandwich. I think you can just have one without becoming the Pope. Well, we do have the Jackie Dog, which is, I mean, mayo, mustard. I know it's not a sandwich, but you have a. Yeah, but that's self-directed in the same way that I call myself a snack fluencer, but I need outside reinforcements to become a snack fluencer, really.

Your hot dog title is official by a body, a governing body. You're right. Thank you. NAMI, National American, North American Meat Institute, excuse me. And the hot dog and sausage council. You know what? Everyone always thinks I'm making it up, though. And sometimes I do look it up on a browser. And I will prove to them that I am the hot dog ambassador of the southwest region of the United States. It does sound like a joke that you would make up. What's the joke about it?

There's nothing funny about it, MJ, and I want you to remember that. In every conflict, there's at least one bitch. A huge bitch, a silly bitch. A little baby bitch, a raggedy bitch. But sometimes it's unclear who the bitch is. I'm Kara Klank. And I'm Jackie Zabrowski. And on our new Colin Advice podcast, we're going to help you figure out who's the bitch.

We want to hear your. problems, dilemmas, and quandaries. No topic is off limits. Does your co-worker flirt with the boss to get ahead? Is your bestie having her destination wedding on a holiday weekend? Is your therapist being clingy? Does your friend keep bringing her toddler to adult parties? Come on, there's definitely a bitch in your life and we want to hear about it. You can email us, DM us, leave us a voicemail, and even call in live to talk to us in person about the alleged bitch in your life. Just go to who's The bitch.com for all the ways you can contact us. New episodes drop every Wednesday starting in October on the Last Podcast Network,

so subscribe now on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. And tune in to our live stream kickoff on September 30th on the Last Podcast Network Twitch channel, where we'll be taking your calls live on air. Help us help you figure out, who's the bitch. Now, there is something a little bit funny. Well, no, I guess it's not funny about the changing of the rules at Kahn. And we did look up how to say Kahn. I'm sorry, properly if it's a Kahn.

Kahn. Talking about the rules at Kahn. You talk about the red carpet rules? I am talking about the red carpet rules at Kahn. This is crazy. I'm sorry to be on team high fashion. But if you're going to tell ladies of Kahn that they can't wear a big, fluffy, doofy dress, you got to give them some more notice.

Everyone's like, what am I supposed to do with my fluffy dress? I'm with you on that. That is, why would you do that the day before? The day before. One day's notice. It seems like it's malicious. Apparently, yes. But then that was the thing is that Hallie Berry apparently had, like, thank God, she had another dress.

So she was able to put on a different dress. But it's like, most people's like, you're working with a designer for a really long time. And I think that that's so unfair for the internet to be like, but did you see they weren't following the rules. It's like you can't shame from last minute changing of the rules. If you, I get, I honestly understand if they need to make that rule because it's not the MetGala. Like they're trying to push people along.

You're not supposed to be like, you know, people can't see when they're sitting in seats and stuff like that. Right, right, right. But you can't block the screen as a good one. The movie, yeah. But you can't tell them right before. Yeah. No, they need more time than that. Wait, was it Holly Berry?

I would bring this up. Was she the one that she had the vagina cleavage the other day? I think it was Mechella maybe. Oh, Adam knows. It gave me a thumbs up. Oh, Adam knows. I'm hung up on the phrase vagina cleavage. Oh, that's right.

That's right. I was also hung up on the phrase vagina cleavage. And is that what they were giving her shit about that dress for? Oh, I don't know. I just thought it was fun. It is, they were giving her shit because this dress is fairly sheer and see. through. But yeah, I haven't heard the phrase vagina cleavage. That's what I called it. Oh, I love. I mean, it honestly kind of makes me think of ninky knocks. It's very evocative.

Wouldn't we call that a camel toe or that's something different? No, so okay, vagina cleavage is the sides. Oh, it's bursting out the sides. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's fluping up and over the fabric. But MJ, in case, if you were ever wondering if there was like a good, like, street phrase for a dog's vagina, that word is ninky nunk. Uh-huh. I don't think I needed to know that. No, I just knew. I could see you pleading with your eyes. Like you were like, Jackie, you know the word, the street phrase for a dog's vagina.

And I know that you know it and I need you to share it with me. And MJ, ninky nong. Yeah. I have like, I don't know if this is. like if this is a phenomenon that other people experience, but I feel like self-conscious if I notice a dog's genitals, like I feel like it's an invasion of their privacy. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Very upset. No, I'm very upset. We learned that word. It's awful. Yeah. We, well, because we know, we were talking about sunning on your chooch because the girls,

we're talking about the dogs. We're not talking about humans. Love to go out there and put the sun on their chuches. And Henry also wishes he could put the sun on his chuch, but it's not quite the same. Sorry to keep asking for clarification, but are you talking about sunning your pussy? Yeah, my dogs love to lift their one. They lay on their sides, especially carmy, and she lifts the top leg up to just fully sun the bottom. But it's for her belly. That's not her chuge. But it does, it does make you think of the red pill thing, you know, where you put your nuts out.

What is that guy? Tell me more. Tell me more. It just sounds like I'm saying. AI stuff, but it's true. There's a old red pill. I believe you. I am not gaslighting you.

I know that there. I'm sorry, what is it a red pill for what? So like, it's a bro culture thing. Okay. If you're the straightest man you can be, you put, you put your ball sack. Oh, so it's like a hanging brain. Hang in, but you leave it out for longer. Hang in brain, my understanding is you do that to, just to make other people look at your balls.

Well, to make another man homosexual. Yeah. That's how you do. Or to feel like less of a man because their balls are smaller? Because I saw your balls, yeah. Do they want their balls to be small? I thought they want them to be. Adam, do you want your balls to be small or do you want them to be big?

Adam does not want to respond. No comment. He's saying no comment. Okay, he's saying no comment. He does not want us to know. I did have a friend just tell me the other day that when she was dating a guy recently, an L.A. guy who's way into the broculture and was taking, I think, H.D.H. or something, that his testicles basically were not existent.

Oh. She didn't notice at first because you're not looking for balls. I always go balls first. That's usually I say, yeah, I don't. You push the penis out of the way and you go, what's going on? Yeah. Wow. I think, honestly, I think with balls, it's all about proportion.

I don't think you want too big or too small. I think it's a Goldilocks situation. You're right. Yeah. I think it's the kind of thing where it's like I never notice anybody's eyebrows unless the eyebrows are very, very noticeable. Unless something has gone too big or too small. Exactly.

And that's when you know that, you know. Yeah. Man, Henry was bringing up my eyebrow trauma yesterday and he's like, don't ask Jackie, she overplucked in the 2000s. And I was like, excuse me, I have since grown out my eyebrows. Yeah. And it was a difficult process. Everybody overplucked in the 2000.

We all overplugged. That was the style. It was. Yes. And so sorry that I was being so. hip to the trends. Yeah, sorry, I was so cool in 2002. Yeah, that's what everybody was calling me in 2002. They were saying, who's that cool girl? Does she have a twinkie shirt on? Oh, my God, I think she chooses to sew buttons onto her shorts because she's cool. Yeah, I think so.

No, no. Oh, laughter into crying. That's the sign of sanity. Yep, that's when you know, that's when put center stage on just one more time. Yeah, let's do it. Health and sanity. Yeah. Or you can grief watch John Wick, which is what Henry and I were trying to grief watch. We decided maybe all the John Wick movies, but we do fast forward past the scene that no one needs to see again. We know what happens to the dog. Okay. Yeah. I actually don't. I know people love John Wick, but I don't know if I could watch it again because of the sadness. It's just the first one though. You can just fast forward. You're right. You just get past it. You're right. And then you know what happens. And you're like, you better go kill every.

You got to go to the dog die.com. Oh. That is a website. That's a website somebody made that you can go and learn when the scenes are when animals died movies. Man, that would have come in a like very, very handy because I feel like back in the day, specifically horror movies. Yeah. If they showed a dog, that dog was going to die. And I remember many years, because my mom loves horror movies as well, that if we saw a dog,

dog in the movie, we'd shut the movie off because we would know that the dog was going to die. Yeah. I mean, I would put this up for the movie, My Dog, Skip, which is not a horror movie, but a movie about a dog. It's just like, yes! All kinds of dead, that dog.

I thought you were going to say, my girl. Oh, my girl was also upsetting. My girl. Equivalent of a dog. There was another Jennifer Aniston dog die movie that it was like, my dog is the cute. You just think it's like, it's a cute Marley and me. That's that's the one.

Of course that dog's going to die. The whole way the whole movie's marketed is like, this dog will die. But the cover of the movie is Owen Wilson. This dog will die. I know. Owen Wilson and Jennifer Anderson holding each other in an AI created image of sort or like a photoshopped image back then. And then like the puppies pulling them and you think it's just going to be a rom-com. No.

Man, I'll, yeah, kill them all. Would you prefer the movie? You know, we watch the other animal movies, the ones that are so cute. Oh, Milo Notas. Oh, yeah. That was a massacre. That was a massacre of animals. Gillem all.

Yeah. Same with Hold on Bowen. We don't talk about Milo. Every time Milo notice comes up on page 7, well, that's mainly when Holden's here. I rapidly changed the subject before. He starts talking about all the animals. Oh, great. You're the Holman today.

Yeah, you're the Holman today. How do you feel about that? It's been my dream. I mean, honestly, you're welcome. Now, now, technically, we just opened up a door. We were the gods that closed the windows. Yeah, we went opposite, but you can get out the fucking door. You're welcome to talk about your comies as much as you want, Natalie, is what we're saying.

As much as I want. Yeah. Oh, well, I've just thought about it and it's not at all. Yeah, you know what? All right. And that is your choice and we appreciate you. Yeah. But Jamie Lee Curtis also had a choice or did she?

Back in the day when Jamie Lee Curtis was convinced that she should have plastic surgery at the age of 25 because a director told her the bags under her eyes were too much. As a bagful person, this one hits home. I got, I got bags. But sometimes people just got bags. The Culkin's have bags. Oh, yeah. I got, like, I look like a Culkin.

It's just who we are. I think that's a high complex. I think you, that's awesome looking like a Culkin. Yes, thank you. When I posted a picture of myself as a child, everyone responds. Oh, were you? Were you a Culkin brother? And I thank you and I appreciate you because I thought that that was cool that I looked like a calkin when I was a kid. We just got big bags.

And Jamie Lee Curtis was 25 and she had bags. And now I can't even imagine her with bags. They really cut them right out. They really cut them right off there. But she was told at the age of 25 on the set of perfect by a cinematographer is what it was. She was told, yeah, I'm not shooting her today. her eyes are baggy. And can you imagine putting a whole shoot day on hold

because the eyes were so baggy? But this, I mean, she had to do, she thought that she was supposed to go and fix this then because it was something that held up a whole day of shooting. And what, like, can we not shame somebody to that? Like, I, there are many things that have changed in the eyes of beauty standards that are very positive.

And I think that are good. But some of these things, I mean, honestly, you know, we just watched all of this stuff happen with Amy Lou Wood from White Lotus, where everybody was simultaneously talking about how hot and amazing she was while also being like, but she did nothing with those rabbit teeth? Yeah. It is 20, 25, guys. What are we talking? Like, where are this? Like, I feel like we don't even have ugly character actors anymore. People are like, Walton Goggins, he's not everybody's sex cup of tea. It's like, what are you talking about? He's so hot. What do you meet?

Like, Jimmy the Bouchemies. Like, I want more interesting-looking character actors. I think the main difference is during that time period, it was free reign to just say whatever you want. Actresses, and they did. They said everything to actresses. Oh, yeah. All of the things. wild too is it is from the movie perfect, which I haven't seen, but that it is like that very

famous gif of J.B. Leekerdis do it, like being hot. Like doing the humping and the exercise outfit, being hot. It's like, this is an icon. This is like in the movie, like in her era of being a complete sex icon. And it is for her completely linked to this horrible criticism that she then had surgery for, which then subsequently she developed a painkiller addiction that led her to become sober because it was such a devastating vicaran addiction. So technically, we should be thanking that cinematographer. What is an amazing man. Thank you for telling her how ugly she looked. No, that's fucking, I mean, that's obviously just abhorrent in every level.

It's horrific. I'm sad because I just realized, I'm like, man, talk about an icon. Jamie Lee Curtis has such an insane career, has expanded, and never went anywhere. I know. Has been at the forefront of all of ours, Eichkeist, since she started. And I just looked up to see

if she had a memoir because it was like, that's a memoir. I would love to read. But she doesn't. She only has a children's book written. And I want to now, I'm like, I need to know everything

about Jamie Lee Curtis. She's such a great celebrity. Wait, you were in a commercial with her? Really? Tell me everything. Was she nice? It was an Activia commercial. Did you shit well?

I love those Activia commercials. Yeah. She loves Activia. She keeps her shit. She was fun. I just had to do improv with her for like 30 minutes. That was back in the day when the commercials ran. I made a ton of money off of that commercial.

And I did very little. Dude. But yeah, I just had to do improv with her for like 30 minutes. But she was great. She made a poop joke with me. It was awesome. Oh, man. That I love.

I completely forgot about the Activia era because that came and went. But I have always loved her in the last few years because she is very, outspokenly and fiercely protective of her trans kid, adult kid, I think. Yeah. And like I, like, Jamie Lee Curtis has had, people have just been so awful to her throughout her entire career. And I feel like she has now reached this like ultimate stage of being an adult woman where she just doesn't give a fuck about anyone or anything.

And she just is like, right about things. Like we could call it like the Jane Fonda era where you just like make it to a point where you're like, I'm not going to let people bully me about my appearance or bully my kid and I'm just going to be like right about political things and I'm not going to like silence myself. You're totally true. And you're totally right. And I think she was even a little bit ahead of the curve because you remember like it must have been well over 10 years ago when she appeared. It sounds so stupid, but it was actually brave of her to appear without Photoshop without lighting. Like it was just her in underwear. I want to say this was like 10, 15 years. ago. And it was just like, this is what a woman looks like. This is what I look like. Really?

I'm trying to like push against like, you know, Photoshop bullshit. Interesting. Yeah, that was 22 years ago. That was 22 years ago. 22 years ago in the cover of Moore magazine without any makeup and wearing nothing but a sports bra on underwear. Whoa. And yeah, she, she, damn.

Does she look fantastic? So, she's just so badass. Yeah. I was also just reading another section of like people, like, why? Why did you do those shit commercial, like shit yogurt commercials for, and she was just like, I was a parent. And I, she recalled the time like going on her way to set for a fish called Wanda. And she cried all the way to work, cried all the day, cried all the way home because her babies were at home. And she, she's like, those activia commercials gave me the ability to be a stay at home parent.

Wow. And loaded. Loaded from the screen and like yeah of course but it's like it wasn't one of those like oh celebrities will do anything for a buck if someone is working with a company to that extent That is like that that is crazy money. That is so much money and gufah huh I'm like real time becoming even more obsessed with Jamie Lee Curtis than I was in the past especially because she's the one that openly says like there should be earlier concerts, like everything should be bad news.

Why is it everything early? I forgot about that. Like, have certain things should end early. I just think it's really cool. She also never, because a lot of actors start out in horror and then they sort of like get embarrassed by it. Right. And she just like fully leaned it, especially because her mother was also a horror iconist.

But she, I loved when she came back for the Halloween reboot, the first Halloween reboot from like, what, six years ago? Oh, she was great in that. She was so good. I loved her. And then everything everywhere. at once. I mean, don't even get me started. Jamie Lee, Curtis, I'm obsessed. And not to bring up her husband, but I also completely forgot she's married to Christopher Guest, which is just very cool.

Oh, yeah. I also forgot that. Every time I re-remember, I'm like, I can't believe I forget it. It just, no, it just makes me love her so much more. And I do need to. Now, we did stream about this over for our patrons over on celebrities. Go check out Patreon.com. page 7 podcast go check out this week's episode of celebrities because speaking of memoirs I I would be remiss like memoirs and quotes memoirs and quotes I did just we need to just for a moment explain just for a second the fact that MJ and I read all I'm sorry listen to all of manual not included Aladia Baldwin's memoir and we recorded an episode on it but I just wanted everyone to know in case you're not a $10 patron. Even the title's lazy. Yes.

It sounds like an 80s movie. Yes. And she says that the manual's not included. How many times? I counted seven times that she says the phrase, there is no manual or the manual is not included. And somebody in the page seven Facebook group posted the joke from Arrest of Development where Lucille says,

you know, there's no manual to raising kids. And Ron Howard says, there are in fact many books about parenting. I mean, that's so true. Also, there are manuals. So many. So many.

And that's not what this is. Don't worry, Natalie. And I just, the reason why I wanted to bring this up on the big show was because I wanted to just stop. If you were thinking about purchasing it. Don't do not. Don't. If you were curious, maybe she like gets into like some of the why she is the way

that she is. No, you will receive none of that. you will receive four and a half hour long audio book of excuses as to why she is. The victim? Very much. Very much. She is, oh, Natalie, you're laughing. How dare you laugh at what she has gone through.

She's not a Rachel Dolazol cultural appropriator. She is the victim of sexism and ableism. Ableism. I knew it. It's abelism. She's dominating the news cycle right now. And I know that some of you guys are like, guys, we know. But the thing is, now that I'm reading page six all the time, I understand that sometimes these things,

we just can't escape. This woman, she's crossing the street in New York City, fanning out her book for everyone to see. And then everyone makes fun of her online. And because she's very online and she's very in her own Reddit, she then makes a video being like, no, I wasn't posing with my book. And she's just, she is dominating the new cycle while not so. She posts on her own Reddit?

She doesn't post on her own Reddit, but she reads her. She's very much reading her own Reddit. You think she doesn't post, MJ? Well, you really think. Holden. I think that she has someone that writes for, I think that she has people that create accounts because apparently a lot of people, man, the Reddit, really. Man, you think we rip her apart.

They rip her apart for stuff that we would never rip a human being apart for. Oh, yeah. I mean, some of those snark pages, they become like bitch eating a crack. or stuff or just like, can you believe how she blinked? I know. I also, I discovered parent snark on Reddit, which I really enjoy because those parent influencers

did too much to my brain. And when I first discovered parent snark, I was like, this is fun. But then sometimes parent snark is just like, this bitch says her kids a picky eater. Kids aren't picky eaters. And I'm like, okay, let's all stop. What if we all stop being shitty?

Everybody fucking stop. But she, she, Holden found a blonde. years back that said that she hired private investigators to find some of the like most active people on the hilarious Baldwin Reddit to like stop them. And I unfortunately after reading this book do very much believe that she would do that. Oh my God. You're raising like 15 kids. How do you have time to be looking at your Reddit? That's the thing. You got to get off Reddit. It's it's I hear the siren song of you want to see maybe this is the day that they'll say something nice about me.

It's not. Not today. Not tomorrow, babe. Sorry. Hate to break it to you. It's not happening. The entire book is a response, I think, literally to the front page of her Reddit. And it is so sad.

It's very sad. It's just sad. It is sad. It's sad that she took the time. It's also, she reads her own audiobook. And it's just like, if you think anybody can read an online. audio book. Go listen to somebody that can't read it on your book. She talks in a Spanish accent. Not as much as she used to.

You can go back and find videos from pre-2020 before she got caught where it is like really actually shocking. Like if people have forgotten how much of an accent she used to put on, go back and do a little, have a little fun because it is fully somebody doing an imitation of somebody who has learned English as a second language in a way that is just profoundly offensive given that that's not what was happening for her. But now she just has like the ever so slightest but still quite noticeable affectation of trying to sound like somebody who did not learn English as a first language. But that's because she has ADHD, MJ.

Oh, is that why it's able? Yeah, it's able to. Oh, really. because she has ADHD. Got it. And it's ablest because actually that, like pretending you're from another country, like that happens a lot to people that have ADHD.

And like I, as someone with ADHD, like I get her. And now I'm offended because everybody makes fun of her because she has ADHD. Yeah, you talk like you're from an article all the time

and I'm like, thank you. How do you even come up with an accent from there? The snow, the ice. What do I do with the fish? I don't know where that came from. I know.

I was trying to, I don't even know what that would sound like. I don't know what sound in like. ADHD, you know. It's my ADHD. Sorry, thank you. You know, we didn't get into it when we did celebrities, Jackie, but she talks a lot about how upset she was with Amy Schumer for making fun of her. And I was having a real, like, kombucha face experience during that time because I'm not a big

Amy Schumer fan, but all of the things that Amy Schumer said about Hilaria are pretty, like, she makes fun of, like, her giving her kids a bunch of very Spanish name. even though she's not actually Spanish and how she said she was from Spain, even though she's not from Spain. And she talks a lot about that. And then it reminded me of this other story that you sent about how Pam Anderson

is still mad at Sarah Silverman for roast jokes from long time ago. From 2005, specifically the jokes about her and Tommy Lee's sex tape. Yeah. And also in Brittany's memoir, Brittany is still upset with Sarah Silverman. Oh, yeah. No, I remember that.

But also it is... And Paris Hilton. A lot of people are still mad at Sarah Silverman. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. A lot of people are still mad at Sarah Silverman. But, I mean, part of it was like, remember what female comedy was like at that time? Oh, I know. Yes.

We all listened to how I used to be on Roundtable and what I feel like female comedians were, It's like you have to be even brashier than the men. If you want to run with the dogs, you better be the biggest, loudest, most obnoxious dog. And I do wonder if that is part of the reason why Sarah Silverman gets so much shit specifically from this time period that I do feel that it was part of the also like, I better get out there and be the one that eviscerates. It's like, it's like Jackie's here, like not like the other girls. thing. It's like Sarah Silverman, at that time, if you were a female comedian, you really had to be not like the other girls, which often meant kind of dumping on the other girls, right? Unfortunately. Yeah. And then you're not a girl's girl. Then you're labeled not a girl's girl.

And being the edgiest edge lord you've ever edged before. Right. I've read her book, The Bedwetter, like 10 times I actually really love it. Oh, really? Sarah Silverman's book? Yeah. And maybe we'll add it to our memoir list. Yeah. Let me write it down. Even though there are parts of it that don't age well now. It's because it's from maybe 10, years ago, maybe 10 years ago. It's good. It's a really, really good autobiography. It's very enjoyable. But like, I think she does kind of go into that world. The other really awful thing that happens when you are a girl. 15 years ago, by the way. 15 years. When you are a girl in that world, a lot of the men she mentions in the book have since been canceled.

That does not surprise me. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like, you know, you can't blame her for but it just sucks. Then you're just adjacent to all of these people doing these horrible crimes. And then you kind of also get fingerwagged as a woman for like saying naughty comedies. Yeah. At this like the same level as like a guy who like committed an assault. Yeah. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. But that really was a very different era. I was thinking about this with this story from this week about Pam Anderson being mad at her. Because it really was like, yeah, like you said, the edge be the biggest edge lord era, especially if you're a woman.

And yeah, to be honest, even back then, I was not a huge serious. a Silverman fan, but I think that it was kind of like you had to, you kind of had to admire her just because there was so few, there were so few people, so few women comedians who had ever gotten to that point that I remember kind of being like, I don't love this style of humor, but I, I, it's kind of like you got to hand it to her. But it's interesting now being in an era where people, I think, are trying to be a little bit more thoughtful with how they talk about famous people and comedians are, I think some are trying to be more thoughtful about how they talk about women and other marginalized people and stuff that like now, somebody who thrived in this era 15,

20 years ago, the same jokes. If you look at them, I mean, especially what she said about Britney Spears really does not age well. And also what she said about Pam Anderson doesn't age well. But, you know, and then on the other hand, it's like it was a roast and this is kind of what the whole thing is. I really, I was thinking about this story a lot. It's, it's, it's, It's, yeah, it is like it is actually sort of a kind of nuanced conversation to have, which is a thing that the internet does not ever want to do is have a nuanced conversation. We want the very black and white. Who's the enemy?

Who's the bad? Who is bad? Sorry, then I just got lost. And I guess apparently her memoir was turned into a musical. It was. Yeah. And about her. She just found out that she knew that her brother died as an infant.

but her grandfather killed him. Wait, that's what she's just revealing now. Oh, wow, because in her book, she says that the baby died from SIDS while the grandparents were watching him. Whoa. He killed him? That's what, I mean, that's, I will say, this is new information and it is on TMZ. So throwing out there. Literally hours, like two hours ago.

Wow. That's so crazy. Because in her book, that's one, she has a really, wild childhood. She tells in a very lighthearted. She's not one, she's done a storyteller and that her being like, and then she tells them in joke for him because she doesn't like, you know, that's how she just is a person.

Right. But that her parents won a vacation from a game show and the grandparents came to watch them and that's when her brother died. Jeez. But in the book, she describes it as an accident. This might be coming out because she has a new Netflix special. Although this news now is just like as of today, but as of two days ago, there's a Rolling Stone review of her new Netflix special called Post Morton about her relationship with like grief and darkness and how it had formed her as a comedian.

Interesting. There you go. Now I'm curious. Color me curious. All right. Well, I guess I'll find out more. Look at us. Jamie Lee Curtis.

We're trying to get into the meat. What's going on in there? she, I mean, unfortunately, right past it, it is her defending her use of the word, the N-word and Blackface. So, you know, it is, it's just also, uh-oh. Talk about a different era. It is a different era. But that's literally what she said. She's like, it was a different era. It was a different time. And I didn't say it with malice. I was not doing it with malice. Yeah. And so it's just still, you know, it's the, you know, it's the, good we. I know, it's hard because this is also the 30-Rock argument. And I, I think that there's a world in

you can say this was a really bad idea, but I thought I was making a point that I wasn't. Totally. As a white woman back then, she was like, oh, I'm just one of the, I'm different. I'm, I'm with them. I'm saying it as an ally. Right. It's like, no, you're not. You're not.

And I understand that's true. At the time, it was true for her. And I understand that. Totally. But I think that if you're talking about it in 2025 now, I think you got to start with that was wrong. That was wrong. And I could have known it was wrong then.

I should have known better. We still knew Blackface was wrong 20 years ago. So, yeah, various other things she did. Karma's a bitch and you should have known better. I mean, Jojo's C-Was said it best. Jackie, is anyone on the list? Yeah, someone is on the list. And it's me.

Sing me the little song. Oh, who's on the list? Me. Jackie, you've got to have that list. Plot-driven bits of movie trivia that'll have your mom asking, wait, what's going on? I thought he was the good guy.

It's a dumb headline. I hate the headline of it. All right. It's a dumb headline. What brought me in was something that I did not know. That for the nightmare before Christmas, the studio wanted eyeballs on Jack Skellington. Some people, Disney suggested he should have eyeballs,

but Selig and Burton just ignored them. Selig says, we were never going to do that. But I understand, the reason why this brought me into the list is because that was what specifically scared me about the nightmare before Christmas when I saw it the first time. But I'm trying to picture him with eyeballs and is that scary? You're right. It could be actually scarier.

And then he looks like large large. Yeah, it looks like. Have eyeballs. He's a skeleton. Exactly. And it's like the, remember when Sonic had teeth for a minute? Yeah. Oh, yes.

Oh, yeah. Everybody was screaming about it. But then they fix, this is why some, every so often, the internet is good because the internet was like, he shouldn't have teeth. And Sonic makers were like, heard. and then they went on to make three good movies. I've seen them many times because my kids are in a sonic era right now. Oh, cute.

I hear they're pretty good. They're pretty good. I'm told they're pretty good. I've never seen a Sonic movie, but I feel like that's a normal. I don't have children. Yeah, yeah. But apparently they are fun. Kittian got mad at me actually because I was like, oh, do you like the Sonic franchise?

And he was like, what? I was like, you know, like, are these movies you were looking forward to watching? And he was like, I'm not a child. And I was like, I don't know, you watch Super. movies and he was so offended. He was like, I can't believe that you don't know the difference between the Sonic movies and like the Marvel movies. And I was like, it's all nerd stuff. You're not wrong, NJ. Yeah, he was very upset. You're not wrong. It's all nerd stuff y'all. By which I mean, it's all stuff Holden talks about it. So I assume

my husband will like it. Listen, no hate if you're an adult with no kids who watches the Sonic movies. I guess. No, totally. I mean, really, pretty good. Again, they're good. Yeah. That's why I thought my husband might like them. I mean, I did grief watch Thunderbolts and I did think about your husband, MJ, because I was like, I bet Gideon really liked this one because it wasn't, he loved it. I don't know what was happening. What is it? He saw it in the theater. Thunderbolts is the new Marvel movie. He's much less critical than Holden. Yeah. Gideon likes every superhero movie he sees, he sees, yeah. I mean, that's kind of nice. Yeah. I wish more people can do that. He goes out to a movie, he sees the movie and then he comes home and I'm like, how was it? He's like, it was great. That's

And that's, but, you know, Holden, it tends to be more critical. I feel bad for all of those actors at this point. Like, I haven't even started the next season of Last of Us. Just, I'm tainted. I hate how people talk about the lead actress. Or yeah, they're non-binary. But it is, the amount that they are ripped apart because they're like, they're ugly than what's in the video game, then the cartoon.

Yuck! They're ugly. And it's like, what are you talking? Where do you live? This video game child isn't hot enough. Yeah. Ugh. So true.

It's a video game. What are you talking about? They're an unbelievable actor. They're great. They're talking about. Oh, I loved them in the first season. So, my. She's going to slap everybody.

But we're not going to slap Scarlett Johansson because in her, and I do like this. And every time I read this bit of trivia, it kind of makes me want to watch the movie her again. I only saw it when it first came out because Spike Jones realized in post-production that having Samantha Morton perform her lines completely isolated from Joaquin Phoenix created exactly zero chemistry. So we had Scarlett Johansson come in and re-record the lines for four months. Wow. Which is rough.

And if I were Scarlet Joanson, I'd be like, you adding a couple of zeros to that check for making me going and do that. But, well, at least it was a revered movie if you did all that. And everyone was like, but, yeah, that's what they were saying over it. That would be, I mean, or like Panic Room, which nobody's really talking about the movie Panic Room. But apparently Nicole Kidman pushed herself to the very limits of her Mulan Rouge injuries. And she had to be replaced by Jody Foster 18 days into production. You imagine doing 18 days of production and then you get pulled. Wasn't Christa Stewart the kid in Panic Room?

Oh, yeah. Really? Wow. I really liked the movie Panic Room and it made me. And I think that is part of what, you know, drew me towards Jeff, who is a lightish prepper, was because I've always wanted a panic room. I want a panic room. I want a panic room. Maybe you would create me a panic room someday.

I think that I need one. I think you would visit the panic room once a day if you had one. Yes. I'm panicking right now. I got to go. I need a second. I got to get to the panic room. I think I feel panicked in the panic room.

It's a giant iron cube. Yeah, that you're safe in. But what happens when it starts to fill up with water? It's a coffin. Yeah, it is. It's a bit of a coffin, I guess, but isn't every elevator? It makes me think of that. Have you ever seen the earthquake-proof bed that turns into a crate?

Oh, God. No. Wait, does it shake yourself into a craik? Yes. Crate? It's so crazy because you are just being put into a coffin if the building collapses. It traps you inside of a vault. Okay, I'm looking at that.

Earthquake bed traps you. safely inside of a fault. I remember this day on Twitter. This is a coffin bed. That's a coffin bed. That's a coffin bed. I remember this video going viral. So you're trapped inside of the coffin?

Yeah. So it's essentially supposed to protect you if everything collapses. You're inside and then the rubble won't kill you. But then if they don't find you, you are just buried already. Just trapped. And, you know, I live right next to the subway. So I don't think I can get one because I would just get buried alive every 10 minutes. Yeah, every time it shakes.

Oh, right. Yeah, exactly. He just constantly, I am not a vampire. Just a little rumble. Just a little rumbling. Down I go. I get you, but I don't know if this was the rumbling that you were here in rumbling coming from Stanley Kubrick.

Stanley Kubrick was a fan of white men can't jump, but he hated the Wizard of Oz. Thank God we're talking about this. I know. I was like, I've always been curious. It's like, how does he feel about white men can't jump? Thank God that cracked made an infographic for this. Yeah, the infographic is great, to be fair. It's just that.

There's no other information. It's just as Stanley Kubrick was a fan of white men get jumped and hated the Wizard of Oz. What do those have to do with one another? I, you know, maybe there's something. Stanley Cooper. Yeah, Stanley Cooper. Yeah, he is feelings. That's the common denominator.

That's all that we need to know. Okay. Natalie. But what about, man, I've been talking about Fast and the Furious a lot. recently and I don't know if this is something in the universe is asking me to rewatch all of them and maybe because like I was asking if I was asking Henry because he's currently trying to rewatch all the mission impossibles which makes me want to sleep forever yeah I know I'm not too I tell you have to do that one I'm not there and that's why I was like is it like fast and the furious

like does it become like at one point is it like oh there's cars in space because now they're international super spies, but he said no, it's like, it's straight and normal the entire time. I just can't look at Tom Cruise. I can't look at a stupid fucking face. Oh, no? He says that he's going to be in movies until his hundreds. I don't care. He can, I mean, he's, he's in a cult.

He's in a cult that just disappears women, so I'm not going to just look at a stupid face. But he's jumping. He's jumping off of cars, Natalie. Yeah. How many cars do I need to jump off of to get your forgiveness for disappearing those women, you know? If he jumps off of 7,000 cars, I'll forgive him. Whoa. And maybe he can do that because it seems like he's going to live for another 50 to 60 years.

That is the beauty of El Ron Hubbard's science. Yes. Thanks, El Ron Hubbard. Thanks, El Ron. Yeah, you should watch the Fast and Furious movies in preparation for the new coaster that's coming to Universe. Oh, my God. Are you so excited for, what is it, Dark Universe? No, no. There's a Fast and Furious roller coaster coming to the Hollywood one.

It's being built right now. Yeah. Oh, goodbye, everybody. I'm going to go just sit and watch it get built. I'm done it. I've gone multiple times and I've watched it being built because I'm a loser. I'm so excited. Oh, that's how you get through your grief, Jackie. Just go watch a roller coaster about Fast and the Furious be built. I just need. I need to feel the family. I just want to.

nice ice cold corona. That's all we need. Come on. Send me to space at a car. Yeah. We're getting one next year over here in Los Angeles. Yeah.

Send me to space, Dom. I love Dom Toretto. And I am trying to convince Jeff has been selling these key chains that are like heart key chains and he's been doing things like Skeet Ulrich and Matthew Lillard from

scream and putting them on like a keychain because, of course, in my brain, they definitely were kissing. But now. I've been asking him to do a Dom and a Corona keychain, and he said no one wants a Fast and the Furious Heart keychain. I don't think that's true. And last but not least, this just makes me think of Julia Fox.

Rosario Dawson was noticed on her porch for the movie kids. Yes. While location scouting for kids, Larry Clark and Harmony Corinne saw 15-year-old Dawson on her porch. Harmony told her, I wrote this character for you without even realizing it. You're perfect for this character. Her performance as Ruby launched her career, that movie. Because even in, I don't know, Natalie, if you've read Down the Drain, Julia Fox's memoir. No, but I definitely want to.

It's so good, dude. You totally should. Yeah, no, I enjoy her a lot. And she essentially likened her upbringing to the movie kids. Yeah. I mean, that's what the movie. I mean, that's what the book essentially is. I also am glad that we have our Zario Dawson, but that story is creepy.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, to see a young thing over on, um, On a porch. On a stoop, yeah. But it is, yeah, no, I, that part really stood out to me, too, when Julia Fox was like, the movie kids basically was my life. I was like, wow.

Yikes. That's probably not good. No, no, it sounds like you're having a rough time, dude. You know what else isn't good? What? I think I'm going. Blind! Item.

Ah, we got Sam! Okay. You ready for this, Natalie? My life was like, gummo. Yeah. Sorry, go on. Get ready. This permanent A-list singer has cut drastically back.

on her security team because she can't afford the staff she had before. To make up for it, she has bought several guns. J-Lo. No. Damn. Katie Perry? No, but I love an armed Katie Perry. Yeah.

No, I would be scared of an armed Katie Perry. No, this is someone who is, uh, I chose this. We usually try to leave her alone, actually, but, um, she's known for dancing with a different type of weapon. Brittany? Yeah. Oh. Yeah.

Oh. Brittany has been making videos talking about her fling with Colin Farrell, which we did read about in the book. We did. We did. Oh, no. She's getting armed. And I did almost. Is she dancing with them?

I don't think she's dancing with the guns. Honestly, I wish she would. Unloaded, of course. I don't know. I should laugh for that or not, but I do think that would be kind of awesome, but I don't want her to at the same time. As long as she showed everyone that they were unloaded at the top of the dance, that would be. Honestly, it was, I have such. a newfound respect for Holden doing blind items all these years because the blind items,

I don't know if it's just right now or always, they're so sad and they are full of people that we don't want to talk about. And I was like, well, we're not going to do this one. But it was either this one or what about Kevin Spacey? And I chose, I chose gun dancing. Gun dancing. We'll take it. So let's hope that the guns are props for dancing.

But. And also let's hope that Brittany is doing well. That is always our wish for her. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we're going to skip that Kevin Spacey one because we're not going to fuck that guy. Yeah. Line number two.

Speaking of drugs, this tall actor made a former co-star do so much coke during a movie that the co-star needed to go over to rehab for two months afterwards. This one, bizarrely not sad. It's just kind of a kind of a random fun fact. Oh, it's a fun fact. And I know it's not Conan O'Brien, but I really wish it was, you know, like Conan. Yeah, so we're talking to two actors. Pete Davidson? No.

That's a good. Tall. But at one time, I found him quite handsome. The tall actor. Jacob Allorty? Jacob Allorty, no. Older school than that, but not like Robert De Niro old school. The tall actor has just made a bunch of shitty movies.

And then the other guy who got so, did so much coke you had to go to rehab is in a bunch of great movies. What movies were they in together? Oh, tall. Okay. I need to get better hints. Yeah. All right, Swingers.

Oh, Vince Vaughn. Vince Vaughn is the tall actor who did the co-cooking. Yeah, Vince Fon seems like a grosso. Yeah. Seems like he was one of those that like never, you know, everyone that was like,

man, we're crazy. Yeah. He hit an age where you're like, oh, we gotta like stop doing that. And it seems like he may have never stopped. Yes. No, he's also at the Trump inauguration. Oh, no.

Really? Yeah. Never mind. Stricken from the fuck record. Oh, yeah. Also, you go back, it's the same time talking about that era from that comedy time. I still find Wedding Crashers to be funny, but there are some fucking horrible shit in that movie. Rough jokes in there. Oh, yeah. Yeah, this is portions of it, though. Portions of it are still so fun.

Oh, Natalie, you're on the right track. I literally, when I was like, what movies were they in together? I immediately in my head was like many. They are kind of known co-stars. Wedding Crashers is a good place to start. Owen Wilson, Luke Wilson. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Owen Wilson, Luke Wilson. Which one? Owen. Oh, no, he had to go to rehab. Hey, he had to go to rehab. I feel like he was open about that, right? I don't think that was a big secret that he went to rehab.

I thought that he, am I misremembering that he had to be like, I don't have a weird nose from doing Coke so much? I remember that. But yes, he is open, unfortunately, about his, not unfortunately he's open, but about his addiction with cocaine and heroin. Oh, okay. All right. Well, take that blind. And line number three.

That'd be funny if Ben Stiller got him addicted to cocaine on Zuland. Ben Stiller's just like this monster. It's the only way we could get through. Okay, this one is just for fun. This Forber Talk Show host was caught walking out of a peep show back in the day by some paps and had to pay them off. I bet he didn't tell his wife. A peep show. Mori Povich.

No. I don't know. Maybe he's. peepin. I don't know what he does out there. Jerry Springer. No. No. Did you watch the Jerry Springer talk? That was so fascinating. He was so good. Real good. Yes. But he did have that

one night. But you know, they were all having a good time. It's so bad that in watching that. I was like, at least everybody was beyond of age and consenting. Totally. Like in my head, I'm like, I don't care. No, to me, the biggest thing that stands out about that documentary was that he had a KKK member

on and everybody was mad at the KKK member and that's not how it would go today. No. No. Okay, let's see here. This guy, he's a talk show host. He performs in your neighborhood all the time, Jackie. Oh, Jay Leno!

Yes. He does perform. He does. Jay. Oh, man, I am always talking about Jay Leno. We know he's in the odd. Oh, he's driving around. He's always in some kind of silly car.

Some kind of crazy car. And he's always looking worse and worse for where. He's always falling down. It is crazy because I was making fun of Jay Leno getting lost in the windstorms. The day the windstorm started all the fires that devastated so many people. And I was making jokes that it was all because of Jay Leno. And it wasn't. Well, it was not funny, Jackie.

It was before it got not funny. I promise. Yeah. Well, those are my blinds. And if anyone has any advice about where to find fun, non-sad blinds, let me know. because I wouldn't know. Oh, sorry. No, I just don't know what to do.

Every one of them is about either Blake lively or Justin Bieber or Britney Spears and I'm over it. Or the freakoffs. Oh my God. There's so much about the freakoffs. This trial is going. Or diddy. Good Lord. Or, or the yay stuff is horrible.

It's all sad. We're just trying to smile guys. We're trying to have a time. I want to know what year of Jay Leno was getting caught coming out of the peep show. I know. Because it sounds like the 1974. We've seen like Times Square. I know.

See like a table dance? I know. Why is this blind coming out now that says he used to get do peep shows back in the day? What does back in the day mean? Right. Does it mean the 1970s? It could mean anything with Jay Leno. I hear peep show and I'm like, oh, that's so quaint.

Yeah. You just went and watch somebody dance. That's fine. Totally. Yeah. I'm like, good for you. But was that what he was doing? We don't know.

We don't know how he peeps. And hopefully we'll never find out how. I don't want everyone. See him peeping on me. No, thank you. But I can peep with my eyes that can see now. Welcome back. And now we're shifting into a different kind of peeps because,

Oh, no, it's Jackie. Snack is what snack we're going to eat today. And MJ, with your MJ's minute munchies. We also, everybody, we had lots of people. We were talking to Heen. So now, Natalie, I've got my snackies. MJ's got their munchies because MJ's doing easy. munchies that we can get at a bodega

or something that we got in the house. I've got these Doritos Tengy pickle flavor. Tilly pickle. Okay. I love that. You should go get that checked out of the doctor.

Gave your pickle tangy. You might want to get a little bit of cooling dressing on there. Now, Natalie, do you want to go sweet or do you want to go savory? Savory. Savory. You got it. Yeah, I love a dill pickle.

chip. So I figured I'll try a dill pickle Dorito. Wow, I can't believe Jackie has sweet and savory option. Old Bay seasoned goldfish. So these goldfish are limited edition. I thought they were going to be difficult to find. And they were. I've been looking for these for a while. Oh, wow. And I was actually kind of excited about trying. And I know you love, you love a little cheesy snack. Oh, yeah. And I know my girl Natalie loves a cheesy snack. Yeah. I would have gone savory to, Nat, I appreciate that. Yes, yeah, because, well, you know, you'll never know what else is in the bag. You'll never find out.

But one thing you do get to choose from, now, I have been drinking these over on Jack and, but they have been surprising me. So, Natalie, it is alcoholic. Okay. But I did bring. It's like 12-24, no, 12-24 in the LA right now. It is almost like I am icing you, but I'm not asking you to get down on a knee. Because they are doing zero.

sugar ices now. Smearn off ice zero sugar. You are icing, Natalie. Oh, I am icing Natalie. So Natalie, again, you don't, we are in the middle of record. You don't have to drink the whole thing, but do you want pink lemonade or do you want raspberry? Pink lemonade. You got it. You know, sometimes I've been really fucking with the zero sugar stuff that's out there because some of it is great and some of it is horrible. But this zero sugar smearing off ice is actually kind of delicious. It's a great idea. Because you don't need the extra sugar.

So that's what gives you the tummy ache. That's what gives you the tummy ache. It's not the booze. No, I'm taking the raspberry. Just prepping my Doritos whilst you drink. That's actually quite refreshing. Right? Isn't it refreshing?

And it is as someone that I'm trying to really watch my sugar consumption. and the Smearnoff, ice, zero sugar, the raspberry. Also, if you want to try the raspberry, the raspberry is also really delicious. It's not the same kind of malt that you get with like a white paw. I was going to say, I feel like what makes a smear enough is just that it's made of fermented sugar. So I don't even know what's in this. Yes. It's actually pretty good.

It's pretty good. And I don't. And it is also like I was surprised that it is a malt beverage, but I, white claws make me very sick. Yeah, I don't like a white claw. Oh, yeah, I can't do a white claw. These don't make me sick. Not since March 2020. And I don't know.

I don't know what the difference is in the different kinds of malt, but also for your aftertaste palette, Natalie, let's get into some old bay. I like it because it makes the goldfish more regal. I'm curious about those old bay goldfish. All right. Oh, they smell good. Okay, get into your pickled Doritos. More like gold bay. God, that is good.

Oh yeah, I like them. Yeah, it's very good. I was going to be a little... I was like, well, I wanted on French fries, generally. This actually works pretty well. Ooh, you know what they would be good in? Soup. Yeah, they were.

Oh, fuckers, put this in some motherfucking soup. That's good. This has got really good flavor on it. It's actually very surprising. I thought it might be like light on the old bay, but they really get a good flavoring on it. Way better than last time I was here, we had butter beer goldfish, and I...

And those were no good, but I would say, ooh, this one, like a clam chowder. Yes. I know you're not supposed to put cheese with fish. I understand. But this one is a clam chowda. MJ, pickle Doritos. What are you thinking?

Fantastic. Really? Fantastic. Highly recommend. Is it given any of the original Dorito or is it all only, like, Like is it giving more pickle chip to Dorito? What are we, what are we, what's the leaning?

It's perfect because it's both. It tastes exactly like a regular pickle. Like it has the pickle essence of a pickle chip, you know, like a lays dill pickle or whatever. But then it just also tastes like a Dorito. Like a cheesy Dorito or like a cool ranch Dorito. Like a pickle Dorito man. It just has Dorito essence. I can't, I mean, it is.

If I were to say it's more like a. Yeah. Yeah. You know, because I. I don't know how to separate what is a Dorito. Obviously, a Cool Ranch and a Nacho Dorito are different, but also ultimately they're still all Doritos, you know? Yeah.

And just this is just a magical dust. Yeah. It is both a Dorito and a Dill Pickle Chick at the same time. And that's all I can say. But I will say it. It was really difficult. We did a good PUD recently where we were eating Cool Ranch Dorito PUD. But I was talking to our amazing producers.

Sam, and she did include some polenta in it, which was, I was wondering why it felt like puke inside of my mouth, and that was why. Graney. But it did give such a good Doritos essence to it. The idea of putting polenta in is so disgusting. Yeah, dude, but she really, man, it made me, I will say, not want Cool Ranch Doritos for a minute. Could you ever eat Cool Ranch Doritos again? Someday.

But that day is not today. I hate ranch anything. These Old Bay Goldfish are fucking great. But you've got to like Old Bay. It is quite Old Bay zip on there. This is interesting to me because I, to me, the goldfish cracker is a cracker for children. And I don't associate Old Bay as being a flavor for children. But do adults eat goldfish crackers?

I do. If they're in, I mean, I love them. I never buy them, but I love goldfish. If they're around, you'll eat them. Yeah. Yeah, I can't buy goldfish. I can't buy cheese it. I will.

Because you'll eat them all. I cannot stop. Oh, okay. Once they open, if it is a cheesy snack of some sort, I will consume all of it, which is why. I used to be like that too. So yeah, you're right. Adults do like goldfish. I stand for.

Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. But I also do see that I feel like goldfish. While I watch Sonic. I eat my gold. Yeah. And sometimes I feel like goldfish is more.

seen as like a child's thing and Jesus is more of an adult thing even though why. Yeah. My kids are. They're shaped like little animals. They are. I love a little animal shape. And the dogs eat things that are shaped like squares. Yes.

We want less. Yeah, I don't want to eat off a face. No, I just want to eat off a corner and go, oh, yeah, now you're all round and what are you going to do without that edge? I want my food to look like my office cubicle and I want no other shapes. You tell them, Natalie. And hell yeah. Look at us.

Man, tangy pickle. I'm going to have to look out for those because I love a pickle chip. I really, really highly. They're so good. I can't wait to eat more. Oh, you're going to eat more. And thank you, Natalie, for joining us on this week's episode of page 7. Thank you for having me.

This was absolutely delightful. What's going? Now, I know that you're talking currently in the world of Spun. I'm assuming about very different kinds of... Notice I didn't even bring up Secret Lives of Mormon wives. I know. That's actually one of the only Mormon pieces because we're covering the LDS Church in their crimes.

on the season. And I have not watched any of that show. I don't know. There's not a specific reason. It's just like I cover the Mormon family vlogger so much. And I feel like. Oh, I understand why you want to make sense. I don't want to watch the cutification of like these people.

But I'm not saying like, how dare you watch it? You know what I'm saying? I understand. Totally. No, you're right. It's not in the place. It's not morally correct to watch it. And yet, oh, I'm so happy.

I'm so happy when I'm watching it. Please enjoy. Yes. And we will be talking about that on second helpings, but definitely go check out Spun, where it will be the opposite of talking about how we talk about the Mormon Church here. But that's honestly the stuff you should be learning about. So go check out Spun and check out Elpian Deep Dives, Crescent City. We're going to be journeying into the second book sometime soon.

And I'm excited about it. You guys are going to a ball. Oh, we're going to a ball. Check out Fantasticique, everybody. The Fantasticic balls are where it's at. We've got some balls. Balls. Yeah, we got balls and they're coming up soon.

Are they big or small? Oh, they are big. They are big. They are too big. They are in gorge. Yes. And we are going to be having a great doctor. They need a doctor.

So come hang out with us. Go to fantasticclection.com and check out some events. We're going to be in San Francisco at the end of the year. We're going to be in Texas next year. And if you want to join us in Texas for the Dreamers and Readers, well, you actually can get a discount for a number of the events using our code, Faye B-A-E-S. C-A-E-B-A-E-S.

Faye-B-B-B-E-N-G-E-O-N. Thank you so much, everyone. Natalie, do you have anything else to plug here? at the end of our show. No, you can just follow me at The Natty Jean on all of it. Hell yeah, get on it. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me on Instagram,

a check that worm. You can send snacks. If you want to send snacks, you can send snacks to me. 4804, Laurel Canyon Boulevard, number 378, North Hollywood, California 916-07, would love some snacks that maybe I can't get my little hands on.

And really appreciate everybody over at the Patreon. and for everywhere. Again, for sending your condolences. Thank you so much for reaching out to me and for explaining to me that it is okay to grieve and to take time and that sometimes your brain doesn't come back to 130% quite right away. And I love you and I appreciate you, MJ. You can email us at page 7podcast at gmail.com. We love hearing from you. Again, thanks to everybody who sent loving thoughts to Jackie and to Henry. You can check out our Patreon. Patreon.com slash page 7 podcast. We love hearing from you over there.

We got a new poll up about what we're going to read next for celebrities. And you can follow me, MJKLCat on Instagram. Thanks, everybody. We'll be back next week. Bye, everybody. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors.

You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com. Thank you.