Page 7 - Vow Renewal - Tom Kenny, Don't You Break My Heart w/ Travis Irvine

Episode Date: March 27, 2025

This week on Page 7, Jackie and MJ are joined by LPN's very own political papa Travis Irvine! MJ asks Travis how he deals with the politics right now and not wanting to die, and Travis reveals his secrets! Stanley Tucci got asked by delish if he could only dine at one chain restaurant for the rest of his life and he said "I'd rather not" cause he hates 'em all. Tina Fey was a guest on Amy Poehler's podcast and brought up how much it bothers her when rich people have side hustles that are just cash grabs and erryone is talkin' bout it. A dying man got his wish to be buried in a Snickers inspired coffin that say's "I'M NUTS" on the side, and Jackie learns of a startling new study on hot dogs. A List full of weird fears, the Blinds, AND GET YA CRUNCH ON WITH JACKIES SNACKIES! Plus so much more! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Let your babies grow up to be a cowboys. Don't let them pick guitars and drive them old trucks. Let them be doctors and loyels and such. Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys because they'll never stay home and they're always alone. Even with someone they love. And don't you forget it. I just want to remind you how lonely, how lonely the cowboys are out there. You're scared of what they're doing to the sheep, but we're hoping for the best.

I don't think all cowboys are doing that to the sheep, just the loneliest ones. It's why they're the ones we have to watch out for. Welcome to page seven. That's the warning. Don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys because they're going to fuck the sheep. I mean, I'm assuming that that's what Waylon Jennings was probably like, Trying to shy away from because, I mean, he is threatened about how alone they are. And maybe he's threatening against like a world and like a life of solitude where I guess, yes, that might be sad.

But what's sadder is when you're like leaving the wife and kids because the sheep just be bleating. And maybe that's all you need. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Get sucked out by a bleed. That is sad. Yeah.

It is. It's really. It is. Thank you. And I'm just so glad that you. glad that you finally took a moment to think about the song that Mama's don't let your babies grow up to be galloids and maybe you should start singing it to the kids. I think I will start sing it to the kids because it's never too soon to prevent them

from having this life of sheep marriage. And Forest fires. And Forest fires, yes. Well, luckily it's not only me and Jackie who are going to weigh in on this question today. Why are you? Why would you say it that way? I don't understand.

We saw some people think that we need a third person to ground us. Okay. Well, luckily he's here. And he's actually often the man behind the camera here at Last Podcast Network. He is a consistent guest host at LPN's The Foreign Report. He's the writer and director of the series Killer Raccoons. And he is a very dear friend. Welcome, Travis Irvine.

Hello, hello. Don't let your babies grow up to be sheep fuckers. He couldn't say that one on air. That's a remix version. Because of woke. She fucker. Cowboys. Oh, cowboys.

Oh, that's called him. Cowboys. Yeah. Oh, you think it was the syllables that were preventing it or the, or the Hayes code? A little bit of both. Yeah. Hayes. Hey.

Hayes for horses. How dare you? Well, we're so happy to have you here, Travis. And it's fun to have you here because we are a pop culture podcast. And our understanding is that you are not the. biggest pop girlie at the network. But you're here to, you know, put on your PJs and gab with us. And so I know that you're ready to talk about whatever.

But you're more of a politics, man. Yes, a bit. Newsman, as we call it. I even brought my hat. The visuals lost on the audience at home. But Columbia Journalism School grad. Okay. Yes.

Wow. For this hat. This is a $60,000 hat. I just made a monthly payment on it last week. You should probably wash the hat if it's worth that much money. You know what I love it so much. It is like I love wearing it places. I'm like, you know, this is my most expensive hat.

It's like all sweated through at this point. That is such a dad joke. Fingers crossed that it's still an institution by the time this show goes up. Hey, if they wipe out my student loans, not going to be mad about that. But that sounds like something the government wouldn't do right now. Is that what happens with all of this shutting down? Just take funding away and then give it to richer people. Oh, okay.

Not me, of course. But yes, MJ. It's exciting because I read a ton of news every week. But I went through all the stories y'all sent me for this show to prep as you do in the journalism biz. I'm proud of you. And I miss celebrity, like journalism writing where they're just like you get to the end of it and they make like a snarky joke. Oh, there's a lot of snark. Like, okay, Stanley Tucci.

But do you like that martini with McDonald's fries? We'll get to it, obviously. There is so much snark in these. We bring this up all the time. Damn. Oh, you're not getting that in your political news? M.J. Not getting in your political news? A couple people do. Charlie Pierce is good at Esquire. I mean, but so if you use it correctly, whereas I feel... It's a little bit of a more dry wit when you're caught. Yeah. Like a good dry martini that Stanley too cheap may enjoy with Mickey D's fries. This will make more sense later. Well, people ask me a lot because I used to have a politics podcast too and I'm a political person and people in these times are asking me about how you manage to. consume the news whilst also maintaining the will to live.

It is very hard. It is very hard. And actually, doing page seven helps because then when I see people and I have conversations, I'm like, do you want to talk about Daddy Noah Wiley instead of the state of the world? Oh, my God. Also, you should be watching The Pit. Travis, it's like if I could get you to watch something, if you can get just Daddy, Noah Wiley into your brain space just for a moment, you'll never let him go. I'm down.

I like post-E.R. Noah Wiley. He's a wily man He may as well be back in ER In his show because he also plays a doctor Oh my gosh But this time he's in the ER But you'd think that he was before

But now he's like really in the ER Oh now he's actually in it Yeah It's very similar to ER But somehow better I appreciate that with the stars Taking their real lives And their fake lives

And merging them together It's like Stanley Tucci Being in Conclave And then also touring Italy Eating all the food You're right And I say we make a the Pope? Oh, I would

totally vote. Right? Yeah, I would White smoke all day with that guy. Yeah, dude. Get him in there. Be like he's banging up and he's putting down the food. Not fast food, though. I guess we may as well talk about this. We'll get to it, folks. FJ, what's your question?

You're watching for Travis. I'm floundering out here, Travis, because I have decided to step away from X, which I refused to call it for a long time, because to be will always be Twitter. But, you know, obviously the Nazi is at the helm of X.

And so I have stepped back. I have admitted that it is no longer Twitter. It's his thing now. But I just, I just don't, I'm struggling with how to consume the news. I do go to the New York Times every morning and I cry and I weep. Yeah. That sounds like such a fun. Like, is that a new skin care regime that you're telling us about?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. The salt keeps me young. I was just wondering, Travis, if you have like, you know, how, and we're not a politics podcast. Don't worry. We're not going to spend a lot of time on this. But how do you do it, you know, with the media landscape as awful as it is now? And also, again, maintaining the will to live.

Right. Wow. Well, great question because I have, I think, what could be a pretty helpful answer for people. Ooh. I've started because I'm in the same boat, MJ. I am like off of Twitter now X more so, but I still go there for my news. In fact, the only reason I got on Twitter. was Columbia Journalism School.

They made you? Week one, because this was how journalists back when it was a reputable, you know, website, this is how journalists broke news. If you were the first person to break a scoop or anything like that, you had a time stamp on it. So that was week one at Columbia Journalism School, got my Twitter now X account. And I still have it. I am not nearly as active as I used to be, let's say during 2016 when I was just retweeting everything Bernie Sanders posted pretty much.

I love it. Oh, God. We didn't get into that because apparently he's the only one who knows how to hold a fucking rally right now, please. I will see. Democrats, do something. Doing a great job with the TikToks, though. I am, I do follow Bernie on the TikToks. Oh, love Bernie walking around a park in a sweater.

Love it. He knows how to talk. Yes. He knows how to talk. He has better, you know, media presence and, like, public image control than most celebrities and certainly any other politicians. Yes. And one of the most highest rating, like favorable rating of all politicians in America right now. But back to Twitter now X.

still where I get my stories that I curate when I read. And then when I read them, so I curate them usually like the night before, usually me with a little sip of like something tasty, maybe a little shot of whiskey. But not like a lie because you could then that's a way to, that's not a way to deal, right? No. Yeah. But then what I do is I read other articles when I'm working out the next day. And then it like fuels my, oh, I can't, they did what, the Republican, but instead of turning over a table or doing anything crazy, I just put it in. into the workout. That is a good idea, actually.

I completely, honestly, many years ago I watched the first two seasons of Vanderpump rules, and I would only allow myself to watch it if I was jumping on my mini trampoline. And I said, you can watch the shitty show, but bitch, you better get to jump. Yeah.

I think I said to Jackie the other week, my physical health is mental health for me, but I, you know, I'm not a doctor. Maybe I can ask Noah Wiley what he thinks about this. He's definitely a doctor. But, um. Not a doctor. M.J.

I think physical health is mental health, and I recommend it to everyone to deal with the news or whatever you're going. I love that idea because honestly I do. Usually I am listening to audiobooks when I'm at the gym trying to like absorb other smuts. Because I mean, if you're not horny secretly at the gym, it's like are you even at the gym? Not by looking at other people. I'm talking about by just listening to your smut. But it sounds like I am encouraging people to be predators in the gym, but I'm not. She's not. She's not. Definitely not.

I wanted to share this when I was in Portland a couple of weekends ago. And of course, Portland is a delightful utopia of all things that I like. And my friend took me to a naked, co-ed, like, gender whatever spa. What? Yeah. What? Yeah. Yeah.

Mm-J, why, you've been talking to me for two weeks straight. You haven't told me about this. Did you live your best life? It was awesome. I mean, what happens in Portland? Right? Stay's in Portland. In my head, I kept making the joke that, like, this is the future liberals want, you know, like what concerns. Yeah, it's like liberal Vegas.

Yes. But it was just, you're just, it's, you know, whatever gender come and get naked. And I am a bit of a never nude when it comes to things like that. So I was not fully naked, but it was fun to be topless, you know, and, and in a jacuzzi or whatever. But it was like your sim. Oh, my God. Your sims always topless in the jacuzzi. And then you encourage your Sim husband to have sex with you.

And sometimes it's in front of little Giuseppe. But we get rid of Giuseppe. Well, this is Sims life, Travis. You don't understand what happens with him. We don't have sex in front of the Sims child. We just send him away to be alone and unattended while we have sex. But in this real life. Of course, for hours, as you do.

In this real life hot tub where I was real life topless and everyone else mostly was naked, I kept also laughing in my head because there's literally a rule that's like don't let the eye linger. Like this is a place where people of all genders are allowed to be naked together and you just like there's a rule like you can't be creepy with your eyes. And if people feel like your eyes are lingering too long, then you get kicked out. And I loved it. But also I was like what a, it's not difficult to follow. Everyone knows what it means. But I love the trust that goes into making a rule like that's that just like if your eye lingers too long,

you're out of here. You're out of here. You know, we know what that means. You know, it's not an accident. It's if you're doing it on purpose. Yeah. But also, are you, do you get into the world of nude spas, Travis? I was going to say, MJ's story reminds me of when I did, I have a corporate gym membership in New York because I briefly had a corporate job for a year.

Oh, another big brag. I love this. Okay. Before they quickly realized I was not cut out for corporate life. Like I was making funny videos for a German software company, which if you've ever tried to make a German laugh, like, you know, right away. I was doomed as soon as I walked into the building, just all the notes were like, why is this funny? Maybe you should have a funny hat. I don't get this.

Sure, yeah, we'll reshoot the whole thing for $10,000 and he'll wear a funny hat. And then they're like, why are you spending so much money? This is what is funny to do? Okay. Yeah, right. So, but I did get a corporate gym membership for like a year. Hell yes. And it does remind me just all the prying eyes on my sweet young, you know, my tender New York Midwestern frame.

Just like, man, everyone cannot stop. I was like, so when the gym closed, which you know how hard is to cancel a gym in New York. It's like famously hard. Like, they continue to charge you 30 years after. I canceled my debit card one time because it was easier than trying to get the crunch gym to end the membership. Rob Oakey here at LPN, same thing, our audio engineer said, I've canceled. the card, they still send me now they're like, your cards canceled. Your guard's canceled.

Your guard is canceled. Yeah, whatever the payment thing where they come to where you owe is this money. My gym, thankfully, closed. I walk there and there's a big sign that said, we're closed. And I was just like, I just won the lottery and I've started doing the home workout, which is why I can have the laptop out.

Now and then when I'm on the road at a hotel gym, the laptop's out and I'm like the guy. But that's where my eyes go. Is I'm reading all the infuriating news and I'm working out real hard and I don't stare at any. I'm glad that you're looking at the news. Yes, and you're not being a creep at the gym

because, you know, we used to give Holden McNeely a lot of shit because he used to say the eye, it lingers, the eye, it lingers because all of his, like, Insta for you page is all just huge, hot anime. It's just like being titted, cosplay women. And he's like, but the eye, it lingers.

Like, what am I? Like, he was innocent in all of it. Right, right. No, your algorithm is what you click on. My algorithm's all raccoon videos, if you could imagine. Because you do contain many a multitude Director extraordinaire of the Killer Raccoon series that I, I mean, I'm not going to say I was a star

of the second one because I definitely wasn't. But I was in it. You're in it and you're fantastic. Thank you. And every Christmas, because it is a Christmas movie, Killer Raccoons 2, Dark Christmas in the Dark. Dark Christmas in the dark. featuring a lot of our friends from the comedy community and LPN.

It gets bigger and better and dumber every Christmas. So it's become a tradition for a lot of people, oddly enough. Definitely check that out. In every conflict, there's at least one bitch. A huge bitch, a silly bitch. A little baby bitch, a raggedy bitch. But sometimes it's unclear who the bitch is. I'm Kara Klank.

And I'm Jackie Zabrowski. And on our new Colin Advice podcast, we're going to help you figure out who's the bitch. We want to hear your problems, dilemmas, and quandaries. No topic is off limits. Does your coworker flirt with the boss to get ahead? Is your bestie having her destination wedding on a hard? holiday weekend. Is your therapist being clingy? Does your friend keep bringing her toddler to adult

parties? Come on. There's definitely a bitch in your life and we want to hear about it. You can email us, DM us, leave us a voicemail and even call in live to talk to us in person about the alleged bitch in your life. Just go to who's the bitch.com for all the ways you can contact us. New episodes drop every Wednesday starting in October on the last podcast network. So subscribe now on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. And tune in to our live stream kickoff on September 30th on the last podcast network Twitch channel where we'll be taking your calls live on air. Help us help you figure out who's the bitch.

Well, we're here to talk celebrity news with you, Travis. And there are many, we pulled some stories that we thought would be fun especially for you. But I'm here in what you're putting down. And you want to talk about Stanley Tucci. being too good for going to chain restaurants. Never heard of this man. Are you in love? All right, where are we on the spectrum of Stanley Tucci?

Because I'm going to say it up top. Love him. Yeah. Love him, love, love me. Even with this article. He is a little piss pot in this article, but it's fine. It's in a very predictable way. Of course, Stanley Tucci doesn't like chain restaurants.

I get it. Whoa, controversial. He's against it. He's against it. No, I love Stanley Tucci because he does have that career that everyone wants. He acts in the movies that are like good, but he's not like the star star. Like he's usually a great like character actor. Oh, yeah.

And then he somehow inherited this Anthony Bourdain life on CNN, right? When Bordane and Sally tragically passed away, in comes Stanley Tucci to go to restaurants that you wish and eat all the food. And you're just like, ah, he makes it look so good. He makes it look so good. And he's married to Emily Blunt's sister. Oh. So then I just love that like he's got, he just like, I love this got like a hot.

wife. I love a short king that is killing the game. I love that like I have always been of course, surprise, sexually attracted to Stanley Tucci even though he has looked old, like I feel like he's another one of those. And I am here for it. And Balder never scared me. Yeah, he makes it work. And I also learned from this article that we're about to jump into that he also lives in London, which is another thing. I'm like, ah, to be an American in London. That's all I've ever wanted. Emily Blunt's sister. I mean, he's got to get out there somehow. But think of how attractive that, like the family gatherings must be.

And the food. Oh, and the food. But then that's the thing, though, is that while I would love, don't get me wrong, talk about a slip and slide forever for me is Anthony Bourdain. I would love somebody that is, you know, an asshole but knows good food. And it kind of is just like a little bit of a sour puss. But Stanley Tucci really does have such a huge stick up his ass when it comes to what is. Like, I feel like, and I worry for him that he's not having any fun.

Right. And I forget that, like, classier people have fun doing different things. Yeah. I don't know what they do. Right. Well, if he's not going to fancy restaurants, he's apparently, according to his social media, making his own incredible food. Yes. Becoming friends with incredible chefs in London.

So, you know, I'm going to, obviously, we'll. get into it, but I'm going to give him a grain of salt and that grain of salt does not need to be on a French fry or anything. Whoa. That is a cooking term. But I feel, if anyone... Are you Stanley Doochie?

Oh, my God. It was me the whole time. What a great actor. If he could play me. He's so talented. He could convince me a person that has known you for like 18 years that he was you. I would be flabbergasted. He's very talented. He was literally asked by

Delish.com, which by the way, Jackie, but I have maxed out my free articles on Delish, thanks to you. I'm going to have to probably give you my login because I've started paying for the articles on Delish because I, like you, hit a bit of a wall and everyone's like, use your incognito mode. Use your incognito mode. Every time it never works. Am I doing something wrong? How do I get the articles for free that they try to make me pay for? Well, I'm sorry.

I shouldn't ask the person that went to journalism school about this. How dare you disrespect? Paywalls. No, I've literally, when I'm. I was at Columbia. That was when the poor journalism community was like, we have to start making money somehow because classified ads no longer pay journalist salaries. So they brought in paywalls. Yeah, no, I do feel guilty and I do want to pay for like my publications. The problem is that they all charge now. I know, they all have the big ads that pop up when you're just trying to like, what did Stanley Tucci say? You're telling me that this banner ad at Delish.com for him's hair growth is not helping pay the bill.

It's a little targeted. Mean to Stanley Tucci for them to do that? How dare they do that to Stanley Tucci? Are they roasting them in the ads? Yeah, that is. This is ever happened to you? Do you not want to look like this guy? Well, sorry, sidebar, but we were talking about this when I was in L.A.

How Hymns has both hair growth pills, but then apparently hair growth pills make your boulder go away. And Hymns also sells boner pills. And that sounds like a Ponzi scheme to me. Interesting. Very interesting how it goes around. But also, you know, not everybody's using both. Some people are going for them two separate things. Right. I am, I'm proud of them. And we did say we want to design a shirt that says, I think we just headed on I'd rather be bald but fucking. Right? Right. Bald and bald and fucking. Yeah. It is funny because men of my age are all talking about this. Right. Charles Gould, our comedy friend Charles Gould had a great bit about it. He just, he got on. the hair loss pill. Did he really? And then his boners started going away so he dropped. Yeah, he's like, yeah, he'd rather be fucking. I'd rather be bald and fucking. Yeah, yeah. I also find that

almost every person I know that is with a partner that is losing their hair says the same thing. Like, I am very attracted to bald people. Like, I'm totally down and I feel like, I'm not that I'm saying that it's invalid to not, like, to feel that way about your hair

because, of course, losing your hair is a very difficult experience. And it's like a continuing trauma that there's no really easy fix for. So, of course, you're going to fucking lose your mind. But both partners are like, baby, as long as you fucking, I'm down with whatever you got going on. Yeah. No, it's more the single 40s guys where it's like, oh, if I don't have my hair, I can't get someone to fuck. No. Sure.

No, that shouldn't be. But that's the thing. See, you need to get out there with your own self-help. but like, go bald and get fucked. We covered this in season six of sex in the city, guys. Everybody remembers that Charlotte landed with a bald guy and it was fine because he was really good in bed. So, you know, we've covered, this is tried and true territory.

But speaking of a bald guy who's probably good in bed, Stanley Toochie just says that he was asked by Delish, would you ever, what, if you could only dine at one chain restaurant for the rest of your life, he said he wouldn't, I guess meaning he'd rather die. He said, I would never do that. That is so stupid, Stanley Ducci. What if you're on like a late night road trip and there's nothing else open? You're not going to stop at a TGI fucking Fridays. I know.

Right. I know. And I think that is kind of what he hinted at. Like if he's traveling in an airport or if he's at like a train station and has to grab something. He said if he's starving at the airport or a train station. Right. Which you got to think. Stanley Tucci's never starving anyway.

Oh, you just had shrimp with the Pope? But also, you know he's eating pussy like a champion. You know that dude, man. You can look at him and it's like dripping off of him. You know he's great at it. But ain't no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, noty, nootty, nootty, nootty, no, nootty, nootty, no, nootty, buttoe. He wasn't, I think that's part of the reason why I'm obsessed with Anthony Bourdain. He liked in and out.

Yeah, of course. The only fast food I really like and is reasonably good for the world. he called it. So I guess he was a bit of a snooty-patutie, but not as much. He's a snooty-patutie, but he was, and that's okay. But, you know, there are other people that are, I guess it depends on if you view this as snooty-patutie or not. I am talking about Tina Faye. Tina Faye went and guested on Amy Poller's new podcast and had a quote that was pulled everywhere and many articles were written about it. So I'd love to play it for you right now. Tina Faye, what you got to say? I have a problem with

rich people having a side hustle. Yeah. You mean like a podcast or something? No, this is you're doing work. I'm saying if you sold like, where would my line be for you? Where would I draw the line? Yeah, I know what you mean. Like if I had a rose.

If you. Yeah. You know, you have like $200 million and you're like, also I need you to. But Tina, that is, this is where you have to learn from Gen Z. I'm sorry. And we have to. They don't care. They don't judge it.

They don't judge it. Well, you should stop because this is the thing. You have to have a million. You have to have glasses. Yeah. Well, this was also coming because she, A.B. B. Poller did say that Tina Faye should have her own brand of glasses. Yeah, right.

That's how it was a compliment. Yes. Like, it does make sense that she would sell glasses. But I am curious, have you ever gotten caught up, Travis, in a, like, a celebrity hawking something that made you be like, sure. Did I check this out? Because most of the time, celebrity side hustles are a little much, a little bit added. It's a hat on a hat.

Yeah. Well, and I think this relates to the Stanley Tucci story, like right off the bat. Oh, yeah. He's like, he's got his acting career and he's got his hot wife. And it's like, oh, now you also need to be televised, eating all this incredible food. Eating all this food. Traveling all around Italy. I, first of all, I love Amy and Tina.

Probably the greatest Golden Globe host. Love him. besides Ricky Gravese. And then I think Nikki Glazer did an incredible job this past year. She really did. She really did. Pretty much nailed it. I'm sad she's stepping back from her podcast, Nikki Glazer.

And I'm sure she's got too much going on. She doesn't need that side hustle. No, no. She doesn't. She turned her side hustle into even bigger jobs and good for her. She's taking Tina Faye's advice. It was like, oh, you can drop it. Once you hit a certain point, you can drop the side hustle.

So yeah, this whole thing gave me mixed reactions because I do understand the whole, like, there's a business side hustle. but then there's like an art side hustle. You know, it's like Bruce Willis would play in a band. Billy Bob Thornton would play in a band. That's like pure love of the art, love of the game. Steve Martin collects art. One of my favorite comedians ever.

Jonathan Winters used to also paint. There's certain like art side hustles. If you are an artist, a celebrity, even if you are celebrity status, you're still a creative. And I think that's okay. Maybe you have an Etsy where you sell earrings. I don't know. Totally.

But then there's the business side hustle. I do think I get what Tina. is dropping down here because in my hometown Columbus, Ohio, which is the test market capital of the United States. Columbus, why? Columbus, Ohio and Kansas City, Missouri, those two spots, it's like if you have a product that you want to test out on the market, you go to those two cities, and that's because it is a microcosm, the population for a long time in Columbus, Ohio is a microcosm

of the rest of America. I remember growing up, like, we had McDonald's Pizza. We had the KFC famous bowls before anyone else had the famous bowl. They would run product white castles constantly. And the dip-in bucket, have you seen recently that KFC has started selling, I never go to KFC? But KFC has started selling all these nuggies and all these biscuits. And it comes with a bunch of dips. And those dips are technically just gravies and little cups.

But they are a whole dipping thing. And it makes me, I follow a lot of snack fluencers. And I really wanting to get the dip buckets. But I don't know if I should. Diff bucket. They got to rebrand. I need a dip bucket. It sounds like an edible.

Like, you know, you have to like eat the entire vessel a dip. I don't like that. Yeah, like a contest. Well, next time page seven comes through Columbus, Ohio, we can go. Because, I mean, I remember like the Impossible Burger, specifically at White Castle. We had that before anyone else was running it. Yes, really. The reason I bring this up is because Mark Wahlberg is really getting into the business it says,

with plural S's, meaning, of course, his Walberger, which is a burger. Oh, you are talking about Mark Wahlberg, the Walberg, not Mark L. Walberg. the host of Temptation Island and for some reason this 62 year old man with gray hair and big white veneers is hosting Temptation Island currently and his name is Mark L. Walberg.

He has no past in like as a therapist. There's no reason for it. There's Johnny Walberg. There's already so many Walberg. There's already so many Walberg. And then there's two. Mark L. Wahlberg, the 62 year old host

for some reason? Yeah. Sorry. We'll yell about that. I mean, that's a nice thing. is that's how sheltered I am. I don't even know there was multiple Mark Wahlbergs. But this one is the actor who has a burger joint,

and he launched that in Columbus. And he's even bought a chain of Chevrolet dealerships. What? Wallberg Chevrolet is a real thing in Columbus, Ohio. And this is the thing. It's like to Tina Faye's point, at what point, you know, I get it. You have enough money. You want to invest wisely.

But do you got to keep building the brand and throwing your name on these things? and then it does feel like you're almost taking advantage of the fact that you're already rich. I've embraced that I am just completely hypocritical about this. And if you're a celebrity that I like, I think it's great. And if you're a celebrity that's annoying, it sucks. Like I like when I had top surgery, Henry and Marcus sent me a bottle of George Clouty's Casamigos, tequila. And now I am a brand loyalist to Casamigos. It's great tequila.

I love George Clooney. Again, but tequila. We've already mentioned ER. Right. I'm big George Clooney fan. Love his wife. Love her work. And so I will give all my money to George Clooney's tequila.

And yet, and I keep buying Blake Lively's cocktails in a can because I just think it's funny at this point. No, I'm doing it as a bit now. Okay. And one of them was good. The whiskey one was good. There's like a vanilla tequila one that I think is dog shit. But like I've specifically, when Tina Faye said this, I know she's talking, Amy Polar brought up Gen Z, and it is a very Gen Z thing. But I was thinking of Blake lively and the

cocktails in a can. Like, don't you, do we need to, do you need to be an alcoholist also? Are you, you know, are you a Somalié now? Yeah. But again, that's so hypocritical of me because I literally think it's great that George Clooney does it. So I just, I think that I, but I, what I like about what Tina Faye is saying is, yeah, on the one hand, if you have enough money, you don't need to keep money grabbing. And B, you don't need to work all the time. What if you were just rich and you didn't work? Or, like, to your point, Travis, you did something that you were passionate about. Like, I think Stanley Tucci's thing of, like, being a professional foodie is great because it's, like, really enjoyable and he does it really well, you know.

Until he launches his own chain restaurant, Tucci's just burgers and fries. Come here and give me a little Tucci. Yeah. Give me Tucci. I'm going to take two Tucci, please. Get away from me. Yeah. But I hear you.

It is. And you just made another good. great point is like if you do have all that wealth and fame per George Clooney and his wife, why don't do some nonprofit work? Why not do some good in the world? Exactly. Redirect some of the millions to people who are, I mean, Tucci, look, he eats a lot of food, but you know who else is hungry?

A lot of people, millions and millions of people in America and all around the world. So I don't know. I mean, that's why there's such cash grabs all across the board. I had pulled a list that was talking about that, like, there are many. celebrities that have chosen like quaint side hustles. Like you were talking about crafts. I'm pro. Yeah.

I'm working on arts. I think that's great. Or people like Paul Rudd who saved a candy store that was going out of business in Rinebeck, New York. It's called Samuel's Sweet Shop. It was like open for generations. Everyone loved this sweet shop. They went to Ryan Beck all the time, found out that it was closing because the owners

couldn't keep it open anymore. They took it over so that it's like. Those kind of, or like Sandra Bullock owns like a whole like multiple stores, like small stores, but like boutiques in Texas and stuff like that. That kind of stuff I think is actually really cute. I think it's not as much of like a, I got him keep. Money grab. Yeah. Right.

Right. Yeah. And it is impressive that like, you know, it's like Joan Cusack is on this list. She owns a gift shop in a, in a museum that she really likes and wanted to make sure. You know, it's like, those kind of. a little thing I really enjoy. But then there are other choices like Joe Pesci released a 1998 album as the persona of Vincent Gambini from the 1992 film My Cousin Vin.

Michael Galucci reviewing for all music described the work as such. His nasally New York tones translate directly onto record about as subtly as a mob hit, burying everything around it in a mound of failed songs and lame jokes. Oh, man. Hurts. But my cousin Vinnie was such a fun movie. That's a thing. Flawless movie.

Flawless movie. But is this a flawless decision of a cash grab afterwards, especially six years later? I don't know if that's something that, like, you know, because nowadays we get like recently, or I guess not recently at this point is a couple months ago, but Billy Eilish was openly talking about how it is getting to a point where it's disgusting because so many large artists are putting out multiple versions of every single one of their albums with different, like, they'll just add like one remix song and it is just like pushing the consumerism to such an extent when everyone is so maxed out right now and now it's just not fair that it's like

things like that. And obviously back then, you know, 1998 was 100,000 years ago may as well be. But, like, still, that was back when things were, like, easier. And I felt like people, like, celebrities could get away with it a little bit more. But now we're so busy. Like, usually on this show, we make a lot of jokes towards Megan Markle. And she makes small batch jams. Oh, my gosh.

That's adorable. I think that I love your positivity with that. Yeah, that's a nice reaction. It is inspired by Travis' nice reaction. She's a duchess. She's a duchess, sure. But, you know, the berries, the me. Make your jam. Small batch jams.

Yeah. Make a jam. It's fine. I guess make a jam, but it fills me with rain. It fills me with me. I'm trying to soften about the jam. Machine Gun Kelly. How about this?

Travis, your home state. Machine Gun Kelly owns a coffee shop in Cleveland, Ohio. Yeah. Yeah. That's, see, that kind of stuff happens. And then there's, you know, there's folks with Cincinnati ties. I think Joe Burrow, celebrity heartthrob quarterback Joe Burrow. Whoa.

Sport talk, a ball game. But like Joe Burrow, he'll. he'll invest in like, yeah, local projects. But then also like when he won the Heism, he gave a shout out to his hometown's food pantry in Athens, Ohio, the city where I went to college, and they raised like millions of dollars just off of his speech.

That's very nice. You know, it's like, yeah, I think it is interesting. I think it's like a multi-deered level of questioning, right? Do we like the celebrity? Yeah. Do they have to be doing this, too? Yes, yes, yes. Is it good that they're doing it?

Right. Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Do you have to love the product also? Yes, yes, yes. It's just like random things. Like, do I need a Chevrolet and a burger from Mark Wahlberg? No, I don't.

Yeah. Would I love to get an expensive? I assume Duchess's jams are very expensive. Oh, you can't even get that jam. Exclusive. No, that's only for celebrities. Now I hate it. See, that's the fourth tier.

Can't get that jam. It's cute. It's quaint. It's nice. Oh, I can't afford it. I hate it. Can I get it? Can I obtain it?

or is it only for certain people that can have the opportunity of getting the jammed? That is what it is. Right. And it is like, because that's honestly a part of the reason why I started falling for Taylor Swift. I refuse to call myself a Swifty. But I enjoy how much, like every time she would go with her billion dollar eras tour to cities, she would be donating money to every single city she would go to. Like she's very big in giving a lot of money.

and also making sure that like the people that work so hard on those tours get bonuses and things like that. And she makes sure. And I appreciate that. Yes. Yeah. Similar to Bernie Sanders, by the way. On TikTok. Maybe not a billion dollar to her.

But Bernie Sanders famously always pays the local unions, like the cops and everyone just got to do security there. Whereas Donald Trump would famously not pay anybody. Like for years and years owed tens of thousands of dollars. and legal fees and security fees to these local townships where he had his giant rallies, whereas Bernie's paying, oh, you're working overtime. Oh, I'm going to give you a little bit more. Oh, Bernie, give me a guess. Bernie, Taylor Swift, hopefully they run for office together soon.

Their powers combine. It is, I did just want to point out one other thing, though, because you talked about the liquor. Because it is interesting. Some people really go for the alcohol brandy. We're going to bring up the Brian Cranston, Aaron Paul, Tequila. I am not. I'm actually bringing up the Emma Watson gin. Lavender gin that she makes with her brother.

And I had it, we got a fun bar here in L.A. called Scum and Villany. M.J., I don't know if anyone was nerdy and nice enough to take you there. But, Sam you come back. Nope, I didn't do it. It was literally a Star Wars themed bar, like the canteena in the Star Wars movies. But then they have a bunch of other nerd drinks from like Ghostbusters and Indiana Jones. Are you kidding me? No, that's what I'm saying.

It's so fun. And they had this exquisite purple bottle of lavender made gin. It's like, you know, made out of lavender by Emma Walker. and her brother. And I forget the name, but me. René, René, René, Renéis. It sounds right. It's certainly not a word in English.

And it's all for a say, I think. I think it's, oh, I'm sorry. I'm wrong. I'm sorry. I almost called you Natalie, MJ. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, MJ. I was thinking about you, Natalie.

No, Renet, gin. And that sounds absolutely delicious because, man, I tried as a, gin makes me naughty. Oh, that's a naughty liquor. I used to drink my jizzies, which would be three, at least three fingerfuls of gin. Yes. I'm glad you're clarifying.

I mean, yeah. So then you just do a little bit of splash of some sparkling water and then a bunch of lime in it. Yeah, yeah. And, man, I used to suck those back like I got paid to do it. I don't anymore. Also, well, we are on Emma Watson. I'm just going to, I did a quick Google search, and it is a. okay to drink her gin because she has distanced herself from J.K. Rowling.

Oh, yes. I didn't all the gym have at this point. Yes. Yeah, I just wanted to double check that. It's not her fault that she is part of that franchise, which is now struggling because of the author of the franchise. So drink that gin. Drink that red ring.

I love Emma Watson. You know, whether it's the early stuff or the late stuff, I love that bar. And then as soon as they told me, like I was, you know, you can read about all the exquisite drinks they have there. And you're just like, you got Emma Watson's gin. I mean, it's a, it's a Harry Potter theme drink. And yes, despite the author, it's still like, ah, man, it was great. So it checked all my boxes.

Man, that's why I'm also so upset about John Lithgow playing Dumbledore in the new Harry Potter fucking whatever, because I do not want to watch it. But John Lithgow is fucking Dumbledore. Like, what am I supposed to do? She's always been flawless. I know. I didn't even know they were rebooting it and making a whole new, a whole thing. There's going to be a whole season per.

Yes. So much. If John Lifkow did anything as a side hustle, eating food on a show, making a gin, I would go. It's like he's been flawless his entire career. All the way back to it was you played the bad guy in Rikoshae with Denzel Washington. Oh my God, not ricochet. Y'all ricochet.

That movie is weird, but John Lithgow makes it work. Hell yeah, all right. I will definitely check that. I mean, I know that we've done a lot of Stanley Tucci talk today. Conclave is also, I really didn't think I would give a fuck about a bunch of priests talking. And that movie is fucking great. Yeah. I know that we probably don't care about this, but I really, I don't know why, Travis, I got to know.

This is, this person decided to, a sweet treat loving man granted dying wish to be buried in a Snickers inspired coffin. And on the side of the coffin, it says, I'm nuts. That's funny. That's the best part. I love the headline with huge peanuts. The New York Post headline is Sweet Treat Lemon Man, Granted Die, I wish to be buried in a Snickers-inspired coffin.

But it really, the picture is what does it. It is a giant coffin with peanuts all over it that says, I'm nuts. I'm nuts. It reminds me when we all lived in New York back in the day, like I want to say like 2009 or so. Snickers had a whole campaign where it was just transportation.

puns but using like like new gotta get out of New York in a faster way oh my god yes like do remember those yeah yeah makes me feel hug over just to remember that you know so angry looking at all the taxis had signs and say take a Snacksie and you're just like yeah i remember it was just like the most infuriating puns because they were everywhere and they're all Snickers theme so hopefully this guy got paid i or at least maybe his family got paid i don't know I know, but I don't think that they did. But what are you going to do? What kind of themed coffin would you choose, Travis?

What are we going with? I know you're a ball head. I know you're a politic head. Does it have to be a food theme, Jackie, or just any brand? I say anything that you're feeling. I mean, I do love anything that could encourage something like I'm nuts being written on the side. But, you know, I feel like that was planned out. And this is, you know, this is a random question.

Yeah. No, I'm more of the cremated, almost like the, the, Willie Nelson, roll me up and smoke me when I die. You can snort me. Hunterst Thompson had his ashes shot out of the cannon over the valley. He loves in Colorado. Man, I had a friend that got to watch it happen. Oh, really?

Yeah, dude. And I was like, that's so... You're friends with Jimmy Carter? Yeah, it was Jimmy Carter. The guest list for Hunterst Thompson's funeral was like Johnny Depp was in charge of organizing all of it. And then it was just like, John Kerry, Jimmy Carter, you know. All of his faves. Yeah.

No, this is like the people that were very far off. This person was not invited to the funeral, but far, far away, you could like watch it. There was like a gate around it and you could see it happening from the way. There's the giant fist sculpture and it shot in it blasted Bob Dylan's tambourine made. So yeah. I want to do something more fun like that. No offense to the Nuget Nuts guy. My thing is, I feel like I would just want to do like generically macaroni and cheese.

Oh, yeah. I wouldn't want it to be craft mac and cheese. Like I feel like I could dedicate my afterlife to the amount of mac and cheese that like I do wish I could have like I wish I was made up of mac and cheese. I thought you were going to make it a buzz ball like a ball shaped cough and they'd have to roll your corpse up into like a fetal position. No, no, no. Weinermobile. That's the thing. If it's going to be shaped as something, it's going to be in the huge hot dog.

You're a hot dog ambassador. Hot dog ambassador to the southwest region in the United States. And so I, life does begat death and where am I getting there faster? It's because of all. You know, can I just yell for a moment? That they have always said, every hot dog you eat takes eight minutes off your life. It takes eight minutes off your life. And then they just upped it to 36 minutes off your life.

And I cry. I think this, I think these are lies. I think this is coming out. I feel like this is like goop trying to fucking keep me. down. You're trying to put me in that hot dog shaped coffin. You can't keep me down. That's got to be combined with like air quality and microplastics and like all the other things that are taking many minutes off through your life. It can't be just the hot dogs. It can't be just the hot dogs, you bastards. I feel then you read an article's like blueberries, add years to your life. So you just

eat more blueberries and then you balance it out. And then you balance it out. Thank you. This is what I'm always saying. Back when it was eight minutes, I was like, do you really want the last eight minutes though. You probably don't. Shave them off. Shave them off. Take it down. Take it to like when I can when I can deal with it and be ready to go. I guess I'm going out the dog way, but first

we're coming in the list way. Who's on the list? Me. Got to have that list. Weirdest fears that people have. It's not a celebrity list. It is just random fears, but multiple of them are just

so weird that I needed to bring this up. Of course, we've got your usuals. We've got throwing up. We've got shipping in a dry dock, like putting your boat in a dry dock. Apparently, people have fears of these. That's a rich person's problem. Yeah, that's never going to be a problem for us. This is the thing. I was talking about tryptophobia yesterday, and I have self-diagnosed, like, the little holes. Like, I don't like, like, when I see little, like, many little holes, or many little bumps specifically in nature, it really yucked. Like, it actually makes me nauseous.

And I sometimes... Can you give an example? Like a pine cone? Like a, not really, but more like a cactus or like the inner side. It's like tinier holes. If you look of tripophobia. And I think a lot of people, when they hear about triptophobia, they're like, or trippo, or trippo, or trippapapha, these kind of things. Oh, sure.

Yeah, like a honeycombriot. Yeah, like that kind of stuff. I gotcha. I mean, the hand one, the hand one is terrifying. Yuck. So that is one of mine. I didn't know. But did you know that whale arachnophobia exists?

Oh, no, I'm sorry. No, it's wild and arachnophobia. I didn't understand why whale arachnophobia existed because I was like, I'm pretty sure a whale is different than a spider, but who knows? No one's giving me a biology degree. some person is just actually terrified of deer. One ran into our car when I was a kid now.

Whenever I see one, I feel like I'm being hunted. I mean, I'm terrified of deer when I'm in a car, big time. Yeah, especially when you see them like poking their head out on the side of the road and you're like, don't you do it.

Don't you do it. I usually like honk the horn. Especially driving around like, oh yeah, like rural Ohio. If you see one, I'm just like, nope,

don't do it. Don't you do it. Don't you do it. And then I even, I worked in Wyoming for a political job in 2020 at the height of the pandemic because there's nothing else to do. Yeah. And they have so many deer there that they would just like be on people's front yards.

Like they've got the way. Like squirrels. Yeah, like wasting away disease. And Wyoming, there's so many deer. They actually have a one shot rule where if there's a deer on your property and you have a loaded gun, you're allowed one shot to try and kill that deer because they have so many deer. And yeah, it's like I had a coworker who's just straight up like I am terrified of deer like

because they were everywhere like raccoons. Yes. Well, I mean, I love raccoons. No, but I love raccoons too. But you know what I mean. They're everywhere. Well, a couple of weeks ago, we had Marcus on and we were talking about apparently the nutria population of California is getting so high that we're being encouraged to shoot them and eat them. That's the thing.

So I need to let everybody know. I feel like nobody knows about the nutria problem in California. I saw the one article. What kind of snack fluencer are you, Jackie? No one has emailed us to tell us that they're eating the nutrient. They tried the nutrient. How am I supposed to get my nutrients if I'm not eating nutrient? Right.

I want to take a vitamin or something. They need you on the ad campaign because all of their slogans sound like weirdly xenophobic. Yeah. These neutrons are taking over the neighborhood. We got to get rid of them. But how do you feel about this person that they say every time I poo, I fear I might poo my colon and guts out? If I strain too hard every time I'm always scared.

That is very funny to me just because I ate so much this weekend. I went to Senes-Pers-Persian New Year party on. Friday and then we had Jeff's sober anniversary. Jeff just celebrated his 10 years sober anniversary and happy Norris. I also went to an Iranian New Year party this weekend. Oh my God. I feel like they got it right because it's Pisces season and that's actually when the astrological, I could come back on this show and talk about astrology whenever you want.

But Pisces is the beginning of the new astrology cycle and I feel like, wow, the Persians got it right. That's when the New Year is supposed to actually start. In the Springtime. love it because we're Leo buddies. Travis and I, Travis' birthday is like two weeks before my birthday. And I love it because Travis is always two weeks before his birthday. He's like, all right, but what's going on? What are we doing?

What are we doing for the birthdays? It's Leo season, bickers. And Travis really helms it. Like, you were the captain of our Leo season every year. And I thank you for that. That is a job requirement of being a Leo is to be into yourself like that. Well, you know, it's, but we only do it. Like, that's my thing.

I'm a shy Leo. And I really only try to do it that time of year where I'm like, all right, it's Leo season. Here's the things I'm doing. If you want to hang. Come on through. If you don't, no skin off my nose. It's so smart.

If you ever write a memoir, Travis, that should be the name of your memoir. Yeah. You are such a shy Leo. That's a new brand. But I'm sorry, to finish my point about something I'm not shy about. I ate so much this weekend. Like that you're worried you're going to shake your phone out. Yeah, like, literally like, I'm still, I have my coffee here with me.

I'm just like, I had trouble eating lunch yesterday on a Monday, which is a salad and a sandwich. Oh, no. And I'm just like, I'm having trouble putting more in still after this weekend. I did tell you about Jackie's snackies that happens at the end of this episode, right? I mean, I know you see them all on the table. That's Tuesday. I think we're getting a little more. You can handle it?

Yes. And then I think, you know, Wednesday's a workout. Read the Newsday. I think I will. Just give me a couple of days. It was just bonkers how this weekend. I was like, I eat so. So much.

Man, I'm about to prepare for an old person hot take. Henry and I were talking about this the other day that now it actually, we like have more hangovers from eating food that like is a little too greasy or a little too much. Yeah. Because we don't drink enough to get hungover anymore. And it is, uh, it's good. Now we're just food hungover. And it's, you know, it makes you feel stronger. Yes.

Yeah, yeah. But I get like, nothing makes me feel. old more than when like we were just watching White Lotus and I was like watching these like three women are in their 40s. They have a crazy night out in the episode. The next morning they're just up and spry. I was like no fucking way. No way. It's like you would be devastated for the rest of that trip. That's all I kept thinking. I was like there's no way. And now it really is food does fuck me up more than like I mean I used to be blackout drunk every night and I'm not saying that in like a fun, cool way. I'm saying that in a desperate sad way and now I'm like sometimes I

eat a borga too late. I got my belly hearts. Right. Yeah, you eat too much, like, beef is like a very hard meat to digest. It's a hard meat. I was slamming it. I mean, Adam was there. I couldn't stop.

I was like literally just going back to the, oh, no one's eating, you know, you just stay a little bit more. Have a little bit more. Yeah, man. It was the same at Jeff's thing because everyone had these plates of food. Just kept putting out food. And it just kept coming and then like, I can't eat all, Travis. Would you like to eat some food?

Would you like to eat some food? I think I would. God, Travis, that's why you're just the. favorite of all of them for me because I love that like you're still just like, no, I'm down. I know none of you guys are going to finish your food and I'm just going to help you what I know you're not going to take. Very raccoon-like behavior of you. It is very raccoon-like.

I am mostly raccoon now, right? Where we are. We are talking about this? I also love raccoons to a point that I feel like I'm becoming a raccoon. Yes. No, you'll appreciate this story as I told Jack I went to San Diego to watch a soccer game the other weekend. You know, one weekend away from L.A., good, hang out with different people.

Oh, yeah. Very nice. And I was going to see my hometown soccer team, Colomas crew. They were playing the San Diego team. And I walk into this hangout where it's like crew fans at this bar in San Diego. And someone had been like, yeah, they got food and stuff in there to which my brain was like, oh, they have food for everyone in there. And I go and I just start grabbing chicken wings and like fried zucchini. And then the guy was like, hey, that's mine.

You can have it. But yeah, that's my. That's my food. Oh, my God. And I'm just like, oh, oh, I'm so sorry. I mean, they told me that, oh, no, so embarrassed. So then I bought some things and shared it over. Oh, but did we be so embarrassed, though?

Oh, yeah. I'll never see that again, hopefully. He's like, yeah, it's the raccoon guy that came in and started to eat in my mood. And then, you know, after he left and he left more on his plate, of course I finished it. You got to eat a little bit more. Once you've eaten off someone's plate, you should be able to continue to eat off of it, even if it was an accident. It's a nice guy. Luckily, Ohio people are very nice and accepting of me. That's so cute. I love that. All right.

Are you done with your list, Jackie? I'm done with my list. I'm ready for you to be blind. All right. I think I'm going. Blind! Items. Ah, we can't see them.

There's still such a part to me that wants to sing both parts, like a call and response, like a one-man call-in-response. You're allowed to call-and-respond man. Call-and-respond to myself. All right. So, Travis, buckle up. This is... All right.

Okay. I'm ready. I know that you are, again, you're not a part. pop girlie yet, maybe after today. But Jackie's in the boat with you and she's, she's staring the boat. And we're sinking. And I'm going, I'm not steering. We're going to die, bro.

We're not going to get out of this, man. And that is what would happen if we were on a sinking. Oh, yeah, for sure. All right. This illiterate, that is illiterate, elitrative, A-list actor would love for the world to think that he is dating this permanent A-list actress from an iconic role. but they aren't. So he's an actor.

He's got an alliterative name. And he wishes that everyone, this is based on stories that are out this week, Jackie. He's not dating this iconic actress, but he's like, you can think that. Looks good for me. Oh, Pedro Pascal and Jennifer Anderson. Correct.

So they went on a three-hour dinner, and I will say this morning, MJ, I don't know if you saw. He was openly like, yeah, no, it's like everyone saw that we were on a dinner because I was with Jennifer Aniston. So, like, yeah, yeah, it's not, nothing's going on here. Wow. But also the internet is saying that he is secretly gay. So there's still, isn't it insane that it's just like, we used to talk about John Travolta being secretly gay 15 years ago.

Right, and Tom Cruise. And that people are still saying that other, like, that some celebrities are secretly gay. It's just like, I think it's just because he's not giving you what you want from. Yeah, just because he's a bachelor. Yeah, I think it's just like, all right. Well, it's a good guess because I was trying to take your hints because I don't read celebrity news and I know nothing. When you kept saying A-lister and in an alliterative name, I was going to guess Anthony Anderson and Angela Bassett. But that is so wrong.

That is, yeah. That is just because he's got an A-name. He's A-list. Honestly, sometimes with the blind items, it's weird because your brain gets hung up on certain words from it and then you can't think about anything else. And it does happen. And that's when thank God Adam is here. Just in case.

So that we don't flounder forever, which is honestly usually what used to happen before Adam was here. I would just flounder. People are in their cars screaming. This is a good one. Okay, this is a really good one, Jackie. These two former step siblings are both offspring of permanent A-listers. They also hooked up a lot.

The end of the marriage has apparently ended their hookups. What? Clueless much? Wow. I mean, that's not a hint. Oh, okay. I was like Alicia Silverstone. No, no, no.

That's just about step siblings. Oh, okay, Paul runny. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, getting ruddy. I guess we could refer to it as getting ruddy, but I don't usually talk about step siblings fucking that often, surprisingly. Yeah, no, I mean, we've all, where I'm so upset to talk about White Lotus sport on tomorrow's show. I can't wait. I'm so upset. I really keep thinking.

I was watching the entire episode of White Lotus this week and being like, I defended this last week. Oh, no. Okay, never mind. They are step siblings. Okay, step siblings. Their parents were married and recently went through a very high-profile breakup. Profile breakup, but their step siblings, okay. We've never heard their names before, so focus on the.

Oh, no. We've heard the names of their parents. Okay, we've heard names of parents. Okay, okay. We just, the children are, are pretty private. Okay. And they just went through a divorce and obviously it's not Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez because their children are young.

It is. It is Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez. What the-children are so young. What is it? How old are their kids? Finn Affleck and Emmy Munez is that the kids aren't that either teenagers or older teenagers. Let me see how old are they? All right.

I'm looking it up. I'm looking it up. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Scandal. 16. Finn is 16. and the other one, Emma Munoz, is 17.

Whoa. Oh, she was just in a bunch of photos with J-Lo this weekend. They went out together. It was cute. I mean, hooking up. I just was so disgusted. I know. I was just so.

I went from so disgusted into being like, okay, I, that's, I mean, obviously, that's fine. But I was just so, like, in my brain initially, I thought they were like 11 and 12. and I was like, I will throw up until I die. I don't want to hear them in a fucking relationship. That's disgusting. Not that 11, 12, I'm sure, you know, if you're parenting a kid and they have like a little, you know, boyfriend or girlfriend at school, I'm sure it's different. But I just got yucked out for a second. I apologize.

I actually thought they were a little older. I thought they were more on like than 18, 19. They're fully old enough to hook up. They are not old enough to be public figures. And so for that, I would. But that is not a. clueless situation because if you think about it, Paul Rudd comes in when she's already older, right?

Unfortunately, even though we were all extremely turned on by that part in clueless, I think it is, it doesn't age well in terms of he was in college and she was in high school, which is just a big red flag. Oh, yeah, that's already, yeah, yeah. But back then it was my huge dream. Yes, that's the problem. I will stay watching it back then.

I was like, please, please, please. Yes, but no, this is what these simple. like did kind of grow up together because if you think about it like oh no she didn't have Janifer Lopez didn't have the kids. That's what I went through the same thought process. I was like, oh no, did they grow up together? But no, they all got together when the kids were already teenagers. So again, this is perhaps if I did this again and realize that they were underage, I would leave this one out. But I just thought that is kind of a, it's kind of like a casual good for them if they were having a nice time together. But now they're also because they're not. I apologize.

I realize M and Finn both identify as non-binary as well. So I apologize for the pronoun usage of, but both of them identify as non-binary, which is great. Both NB's and, yeah, M was in all these really cute pictures with J-Lo this weekend. They went out to a play together and they wore a suit. And it was really nice. Yeah, well, this is the thing. We, at page 7, we tried to never talk about celebrities' kids that much.

And so I just knew that there was a whole bunch of kids on both sides. Oh, yeah. When you do, unfortunately, there is a huge history of paparazzi being like, what's the deal with these kids? But this is my first time ever really beholding them, and they're all very cute. I know. And to show you how out of the loop I am, I did not know that J.Lo and Ben Affleck had even gotten married again.

Wow. And then divorced again. Wow. Wow. Wow. And fun fact about Clueless, I live right by Circus Liquor, which is an important scene. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Anywhere in the Valley takes 20 minutes. Takes 20 minutes. Yeah, yeah. That's my liquor store, actually. Everywhere in L.A. takes 20 minutes. Isn't that what he says? I don't know the geography well enough to... Anywhere in L.A. takes 20 minutes.

That is the word on... That's the general rule. If it's not crazy traffic time. Yeah. For me, I can walk there in five minutes. So there you go. There you go. I love a liquor store you walk to...

Not too often. Not too often. Are you doing this? No, not too often. Every morning I get when they open. Oh, they're shooting another music video. out there? Let me hear.

Slinking through the back. Come on, leg. Just give me a sip. Okay. Where was I? This is a really good one. All right. It's a really good one.

Well, this is just very page seven. Who knows if there will be an actual announcement, but this A-list singer slash sometimes actress has moved on from her boyfriend. Moved on from her boyfriend. All right. Hit me with more. So what's going on with this person? Well, we've been predicting this.

Holden's been screaming about this for months. Oh, Ariana. SpongeBob. She's done. It was a showmance. They're done. We knew. We knew.

They haven't been seen together. She was dating. She was dating. She broke up a family. He left his wife and like infant child. He played SpongeBob on Broadway. Oh, okay. And he was a small portion.

Well, not a small portion. He plays Bach and Wicked. And he is, according to us, cartoonishly, not a very good looking person. And also the internet. has said that, but mostly they give him so much shit because he did leave his wife an infant child to be with Ariana Grande. And it, you know, it's a really bad look. And even his ex has come out talking about how bad it was. And like, it's just, it's really a bad look.

That is a rupture. You cannot come home from, man. You left your wife and newborn to be with Ariana for a relationship that lasted, what, a year? A year and a half tops. Well, Lisa wasn't Tom Kinney. the original voice of SpongeBob. Although that would make sense because he is, I mean, I'd be, an insane voice actor.

Sure. I mean, I'd consider leaving my partner for him. He's so talented, you know. But he's been married to his wife for a long time. They actually were both a Mr. show together. Yes. Yes. We love their relationship.

And yes, they're, that, he's, interestingly enough, that SpongeBob is really the anti-Sponge Bob in terms of the abhorrent behavior of younger. But when you first started talking about it, I was like, worried like, Tom, he was like, Tom, he's like,

What is Tom Kinney on the ground? Tom Kinney would never. No, Tom Kinney would never. It's a good man. He's fucking better never. Tom Kenny, don't you break my arm? Well, I can see again. Wow, welcome back.

Welcome back to the world of sight. MJ. Thank you so much. And I'm so glad this was such a wonderful episode. I do want to, we're just going to start wrapping up things soon. Everyone is waiting with bated breath to find out what the snackies are today. but I would love to because again, I understand not everybody in the community loves to hear the sound of us eating into the microphone. So, Travis, let everybody know where they can find you.

Oh, yeah. Where can they sniff you out, Traff? Sniff me out. Travis Irvine, USA on all social media platforms, including still ex-old Twitter. I mean, I'm still on there. But no one else is on there. It's just all politics and journalism. So Instagram, Facebook.

Those are the main ones. And then, yeah, check out Killer Raccoons, too, although it is a good. Christmas movie so you can wait until July or Christmas season. A new tradition for a lot of folks. And then also, you know, sometimes we talk politics. Thank you, MJ, for getting me a little political today. Check out my documentary, American mayor. It's about me running for mayor of my hometown. In this day and age, I think when you're feeling kind of let down by all the big news, look around to your community and be like, all right, what can I do here? So American mayor movie.com, you can check it out there. It's a precursor to my other documentaries, including

being How America Killed My Mother, starring Ed Larson. Hell yeah. Also great documentary. God, it's so good. But prepare yourself before you watch it. You will cry. Yes, yes. You will definitely cry.

Thank you so much, Travis. But before we give our little send-off, oh no, it's Jackie's snack is what snacks you're going to eat today. And I am so curious. You know what? Travis, I saved this for you. I know you're a Celsius man. I did see that there is a,

They just put out a limited edition, sparkling sherbet slush. So I got you one in case you're looking for one of these. The slushies keep sending kids to the hospital. You following that? No. Why they slushes into the hospital? Well, that's what I see.

They have some ingredient that's just like mildly toxic to kids sometimes. I'm sorry. It's just fun. That's what's toxic about it. You mean 100% fun? Oh, yeah. You're damn right. I think Travis will be fine because he's not a child.

But yeah, you got to be careful with your kids slushy intake. I think the rule is no more than one a day, which I haven't been less than close attention. Seven. I thought kids were supposed to have at least three square slushies a day. I don't understand. One. So I'm going to try this. I want to try out of this Sherbert Slush.

But also today, I brought in, I've been seeing everywhere. So many snack fluences are getting into the world of freeze-dried snacks. Love it. They are everywhere. I have not tried. A one. I have heard the brand new ones are the Jolly Rancher, freeze-dried, airy treats. Everybody says they're fabulous. I have not had one freeze-dried thing. I also have the Skittles popped, which is Skittles that are freeze-dried. And I don't understand why people are spending so much money for this, because in my brain, I want a chewy fruity. I don't want air-dried. I want it to be chewy fruity. This will be interesting. So let's try them out. I'm going to open up the Skittles' Pupp. hopped if you want to open up the Jolly Rancher Freeze Dried strawberries.

We eat literally $25 worth of freeze dried strawberries a day in my house. And obviously we can't keep up with that budget, but I buy a $25 can that is a huge, like, prepper can of freeze dried strawberries. And then it is gone 24 hours later. I have to, like hide it. It's like when I used to live with roommates that I had to hide my alcohol from them. You know, I have to hide the freeze dried strawberries from them. Oh, my God.

Well, I don't know if you're going to have to hide. I'm going in for the Skittles Pub. I won't eat right into the microphone. Is this a bit where do people get disgusted by the sound of a man trying to open a snack bag? I have the fear of men grunting. So be careful. It's going to burn a hole in your top. Oh, this is cool.

Oh, my God. This is so sweet. It's like a little freeze dried jelly range. It's very tart. Get in there. Get in there, Travis. It looks like a piece of cereal or something. It does.

It's going to be so tart. Oh, it's very, very. It's very, yeah. How tart is it? Is it really, really sweet? You start super crunchy. It's weird because these skittles, you know how like skittles get trapped in your teeth? Aftertaste is brutal.

This gets trapped in your teeth, but not in like a fun, oh, I can save that chunk for later and I'll go back and get a little chew. Yeah. They do taste a lot like skittles, but I don't think I like the texture of thick chips when I'm eating my chew. You don't, not liking that one? That one. Not into it? Went in pretty good and then Went out.

Oh, oh, it's like March in like a line out. You ate the red one. I'm going to eat the bright blue one. It does. It like rehydrates in your mouth. Yeah. And then just stays there because it's definitely stuck in the teeth, right? Oh my God.

I mean, it was like, it was fine with the crunch and everything right away. But then it was just like, it like released like a like a juice. Oh, my God. I mean your saliva mixes with it and then it's just like high octane. Here's the thing. if I was fucking. Like eating a whole Jolly Rancher at once, which you're not supposed to do.

Which you're not supposed to. I don't understand the freeze dried candy because Fristrade fruit is delicious. It's high-powered fruit. I don't need high-powered sour or candy. No. I'm going to try one of the Skittles. Getting on the Skittles, I'm so...

Wow, nice crunch. Awful crunchy. It's got good taste. I think the Skittles... That's more tolerable. It's a smaller dose. The Jolly Rangeshers are huge. Did you see the size of him?

And you're like, ah, and you're a whole mouth. You know what it reminds me of? I'm going for a yellow one. I had a red one, and that one was good. I'm going to try yellow, because yellow is famously like the one no one likes. Yeah. For the Skittles. Yeah.

Well, it depends. My husband loves the yellow ones. So I was giving my yellow ones. Yeah, that one's less good, but still, because they're smaller, it's not as overwhelming as that Jolly Rancher. This is chow-in-down. It feels like. I might have another one. You're getting into the, so we like the Skittles popped more than the Jolly Rancher ones.

Well, I actually need these to get the. of the Jolly Ranger ones because this is now cement in my teeth. The Jolly Rancher Freeze Strides have now like turned into a sludge that is trapped in my teeth. Let me try out this Sherbert Slut. Oh yeah. Wash it down with the sherbetts shats. You got to start bringing the alcoholic drinks to this, Jackie. Make people get drunk at the morning.

Oh, that's good though. That's tasty. This is delicious. I am not a Celsius person. MJ, have you gotten into the world of Celsius? Until I talked to Travis Irvine two weeks ago, I didn't even know. whether Celsius was alcoholic or not, and then I figured it, I figured out from context clues that it was not alcohol.

Yes. Not alcoholic. The lovely folks will help our office run and hum. God, they're perfect. Replace the Red Bulls with Celsius. And I got to say, I was skeptical because I love a good Red Bull before a show. A comedy show, you guys saw me at the Columbus Funney Bone. I'm going to crush a Red Bull before I get on stage.

It's open for the Page 7 Whizsbrose show when we were in Ohio. And that was fucking awesome. It was so fun. It was such a fun night. Y'all crushed it. And so did you. And I got to say, Celsius now is, because I can sip a Celsius, whereas like a red bull I chug down and then like, I'm on stage and here's my energy. Yeah.

But like Celsius is more, especially for podcasting, which, you know, we're known to do. It's a little more of a sip. It's a zipper. It's a super. It's a little bit. It's a super. You know, throughout the, the period you need it. It's definitely a sioux.

It's like taking an Adderall as opposed to blowing an Adderall. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I know the release is opposed to just, I got to get this paper done right away. I was joking with Sina though on the forum report Oh where you can also find me Hot news show here at LPN Consistent guest host That's what they call me I was joking that if Celsius needs an ad read

I will do like a 90 second ad in 30 seconds Or just like Oh Celsius Yeah the youth really are really enjoying Celsius now And I'm trying But I don't drink energy drinks anymore

Which is for the best especially when I recently found out how much caffeine was in the cold brew that I drink almost a whole bottle of almost every day. Mess me up. Apparently, I'm drinking far too much caffeine. Wait, what? You?

Apparently, my doctor said, I'm going to have to tone it down a little bit. So I should probably, well, that's what the snacks are for. Thank you so much for enjoying or maybe not enjoying, just getting into the world. If you like freeze-dried certain things,

let me know what should we try in the world of freeze-dried if you think that I will change my tune if given something else. Definitely the Skittles popped. I could definitely see me high as balls on a plane eating the fuck out of that bad. Yeah, yeah. And just being, because I think that that's what it is.

I'm stone cold sober right now. And very rarely am I not stoned when I'm, I'm very impressed because usually I'm not eating something the sweet if I'm not a little stuff. I'm not a candy person overall. No, not without maroines. Yeah, right, right. Well, baby. But anyway, thank you so much. This is the snack that she ate today. And thank you, Travis, for joining us on this beautiful episode of page seven. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm, and you can come hang out with MJ and I. We are sim and Fridays. Twitch.tv.

slash, oh no, it's Jackie. But also check me out. Who's the bitch? It drops every Wednesday, me and Kara Clank. Check out Crescent City. Every week drops on Tuesdays. You can find me almost any day of the week, giving you new content. You can also check us out over on the Patreon.

Page 7, Patreon. Patreon.com slash page 7 podcast, MJ. That's right. You can email us, page 7 podcast at gmail.com. We love hearing from you. We read your emails and we love your feedback. Also, like Jackie said, our Patreon is patreon.com slash page 7 podcast. We love hearing from you go over. Join us for our new show Celebrities, where we are reading celebrity memoirs. We're just crying and listening to Brittany right now. I woke me that forever. I cried yesterday in the car listening to the audio book. And I'm just like, oh my God. It's just so good. Come hear us talk about it because you don't even have to read it every week to catch up because we're giving you a recap, patreon.com slash page 7 podcast. We're taking extensive notes.

We're treating it like a college class. And yeah, my name is MJ. I'm MJ K LKAT on Instagram. And because I'm trying to leave X, I am also MJ Neffel over at Blue Sky. Love this. And again, thank you so much, Travis. And thank you, MJ. I really had a blast today.

And I hope everybody else did too. But don't worry, we'll be back next week with another new third. I guess we'll also be back tomorrow with second helpings. But you know that already. We love you. And we'll talk to you guys. soon. Bye, everybody.

Thanks, Travis. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.