Page 7 - Water Pork w/ Holden McNeely

Episode Date: September 11, 2025

HEAVY SPOILER ALERT for Netflix's "Unknown Number: The High School Catfish"@ 31:56 until 44:13This week Jackie and MJ are joined by Holden "2Fat4DaSlide" McNeely as he discusses his recently dearly departed chicken soup smellin' cyst, waterpark folk, KJ Apa is transforming into Mr. Fantasy and releasing music to everyone's confusion and delight. Pamela Anderson continues to deny rumors that her relationship with Liam Peeson is a PR Stunt, and Holden chimes in with his favorite Pam Anderson jerk seshes from childhood. TSwift and Travis are engaged and Holden loves their love and also calls out MJ for their past comments on Travis, Netflix's "Unknown Number: The High School Catfish" is absolutely worth the watch but if you don't wanna know the twist skip 31:56 until 44:13 and then we got a list of EXTREMELY WILD last wishes from famous people that left their families IN SHOCK! Then it's onto the Blindzz, and a very expensive Jackie's Snackies from 1:07:54.332 (with an MJ's Minute Munchies at 1:13:20.226) til 1:17:29.659, and even more on this week's episode!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

cage that gives me from dancing with the one I love, but my mind holds the key. My body is a cage. But my mind holds the key. Welcome to page seven. Man, what a fun summer way to start this. You know, it's not, summer's over holding. Summer's over, Holden. It's not in LA, okay?

It's hot as shit here and I want to die. It is beautiful outside. Everything is wonderful. Holden is back from his disgusting water park where they all came back and spew their sickness all over me. Even though I didn't go to the water park, they went to the water park and welcome everyone. and it's not going to be an angry page seven. It's not going to be. It's going to be fun, but poor Jackie

didn't even get to go to the water park. You would have hated it. That's the water park's bane. You should have come. If you would come, you'd be freed of this. Yeah, I think that's true. I think that's true. I think that there's something about

when you surrender to the water park resort atmosphere and yes, you have a drink at 10 a.m. And yes, you are just inhaling millions of germs from a bunch of people. You don't know their voting record. You don't know what's happening. I kept sipping on my strawberry slum. Slide.

Strawberry slide. Yeah. Strawberry slide. It was so fruity and yummy. You could never taste the alcohol. No. Oh, yeah. And then you go.

And then you get that liquid courage up and you go down the big slide. Well, or maybe you don't go down the big old slide because you know what? Holden McNeely, yes, for Gnardabout. It's just like, let's get him in here. We know Holden. It's not that I brought you on to publicly shame you. Right.

And I did bring you on because I did need you. to know that I almost cried when I first saw the video that Henry posted of you guys at the water park, please Holden, regale us with the tale, even though you're going to say the tale and everyone, we're

all going to want to cringe to death and we're all going to be sent back in time and maybe traumas are going to be brought up, but let's just remember this is happening to Holden and not to us. This is just a precursor. I will say, I kind of feel a little

accomplishment. This is the first time I was deemed too fat for something. And I never thought I'd get to this point. It's fun. I never thought I've been too drunk for things. I've been too short for things. But never have I been too fat for something. Yeah. Hell yeah. I'm going to come on over, baby. A good reference. I can't even believe I decided to do this because it was insane. This is a loop-de-loose speed slide like you might have seen in the film experience class class action park about the water park that was where everybody died where everybody got hurt and or killed yeah um but this was like a little bit more of a dialed in scientifically one like the loop the loop de loo wasn't like fully upright it was like kind of at an angle they you know they would weigh you before you went on to make sure you were within a certain weight range oh that's how it oh god who volunteer sorry go on you you you know you

You volunteer. You volunteer. I like to face fears. I like to look at something and be like, I'm gonna do that shit. I'm very impressed by you, Holden. No way.

Would I do anything at the, especially now, especially ever. I mean, he publicly weighed in front of private, you know. The whole thing was a terrible idea because just, I know Jackie's gonna love

me bringing this up, but I just got an assist removed. Oh, good. Let's talk about it. People loved it when we talked about that. They opened me up in my back and they removed this stinky cyst, not the big one, this stinky one that would ooze like a cheese smell.

He had a secondary one that was so stinky that they had to get rid of it first before the huge pulsing of the way. Like she said, I would make me smell like chicken soup. Oh, my God. I was very exciting. I've, I've, I've, I'm, KMS, KMS. Oh, my God. KMS.

Yeah. And if you want a KMS at home, I totally get it. I've never had the urge to dry heave when you were talking, Holden ever about anything. Never? Never. I've listened to him. Wait a second.

I've listened to him. I've listened to him. Yeah, I drained it once in the bathroom. I made the bathroom smell for a couple days. Like, um, this cheese smell. No, I needed to stop. So I got rid of that. And so that was, that was, that was.

Okay. MJ, so this happened two days before he goes to the water park. Yeah, open wound. With an open wound. Yeah. Yeah. With an. open.

Share the liquid with everyone at the water park. They share their COVID germs and you share your body liquid. Can I just put it down there? And you think you want me to go to a water park? Like this is you saying, oh, Jackie, you would love the water park. Should have gone. So, so anyways, I, I, they opened me up, right? And then they stitched me up, right?

This was on day like three, day like three or four of healing. Way too soon. But I put on, you know, I had aquafore and I got really nice waterproof bandages. And I will say, luckily. Luckily, the waterproof bandage worked. But of course, I didn't want everyone to see my waterproof, my giant bandage on my open healing wound. So I had to be that guy at the water pork park.

I was a water port. Oh, no, you're not a waterpark. Don't say that about it. So I ended up being the guy at the water park, that guy wearing a t-shirt. The water pork is a very funny name for you, though. What do we stop calling it? the water pork.

Oh, this guy. So I was that guy at the, at the water park with a teacher. But yeah, so many other people wearing t-shirts. And I just want to say, unless you have an open wound with a bandage on it, love your body, guys. Just wear, just take the shirt off. It's fine, you know what I mean?

But I do think that that was also a dumb thing to be having going on while trying to go down this. Also, Holden, you should have just gotten one of They have got like, technology has come so far, holding. You can get what of the, don't they have like wet shirts now? Yeah, rash guard. Nobody needs to be the sad kid with a t-shirt anymore. You can be the sad kid with a rash guard and it just feels better, you know, but you didn't,

I understand, you didn't have time to prepare. You were busy getting assist removed. Yes. Yeah, this is very last minute. This is very, you know, all that kind of stuff. So, so anyways, so yeah, I get up there and I, my, my, you're high up, man. I think the scariest part, wasn't even the slide, was being that high up.

That is the worst part. Was just being that high. And I did do a different slide later that was like almost that high up that was super fun. Like I love doing these slides. These are super fun. But I'm just standing there. My whole body's shaking. And there's all these signs.

Like if you just had surgery, don't go down this slide. If you have high blood pressure, don't go down this slide. Man, it just says meaning you. Hold you to McNeal. You don't do this. Dude, don't do this. But I'm just like, I have to do it. I have to do it.

I have to do it. What's funny, too, is a couple people I saw didn't make it all the way around the loop. You just kind of sadly slide back down to the bottom. That's what I thought the video would be. I thought it would be you going, but then not making it all the way around. Not even allowed on. And then there's like a hatch you pop out of. Yeah, there's like a hatch you pop out.

Dave, wait, hold it. I do need to know, did any of the teenagers that were in line go like, uh, nobody else? I was so, I was so, it was such a wake-up call. It was so in my zone. I didn't even notice when anybody did. And yeah, that was the thing, too. My whole body was shaking.

And then I had to go back down the stairs. So I step on the scale. They go, the girl running it just goes, oh. I'm like, no. Oh, she did a shirt go, e-aw, e-a-a-a-ha. Donkey back down. E-ya. No, I almost wish she had.

It would have been fun, more fun, if everybody pointed and laughed and stuff. And I needed that shaming. I needed that. That's why I gave Henry explicit permission to post the video. He asked me ahead of time. He said, like, before I shame you, can I post?

Because I did yell at Henry. Up top, I was like, Henry Thomas. You bet you have to ask. And he's like, I did. I did ask before I posted it. Right, right, he did. And I wanted him to. I was expecting it because I needed it.

I needed the wake-up call, you know, and I accepted. And by the way, I went home and weighed myself. I was four pounds too heavy for this thing. Aw. If you just had a wet shirt on. I had a wet shirt on. and I just eaten a burger and I drank like three of those strawberry slide drinks.

You had your bigger cyst removed. You might have been four pounds lighter. Oh, my God, you're right. Yeah, exactly. What a great way to lose weight. Just get all that pulse out your back. Have you thought about that? Yeah, you're carrying around at least four extra pounds just in that cyst.

Sure, I think it was so stinky. At one point the guy turned to the nurse while he was digging it out of me. He was like, are you, are you all right? To the nurse. You know, I'm just surprised that that wasn't the wake-up call you needed. I thought that that would be once you were too steaky at the doctor. Yeah. Well, yeah. Sometimes you don't hit, you know, sometimes your first rock bottom isn't your final rock bottom, Jack. You're right. Do you think this is going to like spurn an alter ego of sorts? Like, do you think you're going to have a Mr. Fantasy come from this experience?

Oh, I'm going to be Mr. Fantasy ripped, bro. I'm going to be on the Hollywood Hills fucking ripping an electric guitar. It's also a bong. Okay. I'm going to start a Jared Leto cult. It's just going to be called, it's just going to be called Dick Suck. Listen, wow, inventive. What KJ.EFA is doing is not what Jared Letto is doing. No, no, very separate.

Alert, alert, everyone, we will be talking about. We need to talk about KJEPA. Yeah, and honestly, that's pretty much the end of the story. I was too fat. I left. I figured, that's why I was moving it all. I grabbed the inner tube and got back on the Lazy River where my people belong. Yes.

Go back to the Lazy River. Go back to the Lazy River, which was phenomenal. But anyways, that was pretty. But I had a wonderful time, and I really loved the Dells. A lot live with the Wisconsin Dells, man. Happiest place on Earth. I'm so jealous. Amazing.

Oh, and so many. And I was maybe too fat for that slide, but I did not feel at all like I was too fat for that park. there was so many just disgusting. Everyone is welcome at the water park. And there were tattoos. My God, I've never seen such a terrible collection of tattoos. A lot of praying hands in front of American flags.

Here's the thing about a water park, though. I know we have to talk about KJ. Appa. But I also kept, as the drunker I got at the water park, I would get more reflective and more emotional. And I would think to myself, you know, some people, my husband, go to a water park and they just see. oh, I don't want to associate with anyone here. I don't like this.

And I go to the water park and I'm like, I imagine a world where we all are equals at the water park. You know, at the water park, we live together. At the water park, we are all in solidarity with one another, you know? And I like see the potential for what life could be at the water park. I feel that way about Vegas. But I loved seeing the light enter your eyes when you got to Vegas, MJ. Oh, I love Vegas too.

way. Yes, we can all be together in Vegas. We can all be together at the water park, except those of us who want to die at the water park, which is Jackie and also Gideon. So, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, keep me as far away from the water park. I love it. I absolutely love it. And it was so funny, too, because it's a layover to get back to L.A. to just watch the people slowly get hotter as we, like, traveled to Dallas and then to Los Angeles. And by the time I was on the L.A. flight, I'm like, now I'm back to being surrounded by fucking Instagram mob. and I want a KMS. I love being around just the real people of America, you know?

You just want to live at the Dells is what you're saying. A little bit. It's great. I wouldn't mind it. I've lived, I haven't lived at the Dells, but the Midwest is a great place to live, you guys. There's no. It's amazing. Oh, I love the Midwest.

It's just, you know, it's the whole water park of it all. It's just, I mean, they're like, trying to tell me about, like, it's so great. There's a slide, and then you're like a turd, and then you get trapped in a toilet. bowl. Flush down the toilet. Flush down the toilet. You say that with happiness. Yeah, there's one where the one where you just stand in an enclosed tube of darkness and the floor falls out from under you.

Yes. I love that one. Yes. I love it. Well, that was kind of like the loop-de-lu one. You stand on a thing and it just shoots you down. Drops out. Yeah.

Oh, God, damn it. Next year. Oh, hell no. Next year. Hail no. No, that's why I'm living in Mr. Fantasy's world. All right. Kj.

Thank you to the many thousands of people. Many, many, many, many people that have sent us these videos because we needed to be on high alert. And it's so funny, how quickly people are like, is that KJ. Appa? It's obviously KJ. Of course, it's completely KJ. Tattoos. The tattoos.

While some wonder whether or not it is, I just, these articles are so brain dead. Others have stated that, yeah, they clearly have the exact same tattoos placed. And what is the fuck you're talking? That's exactly how you know it's him. Yeah. For those of you that are not aware, KJ. Epa from Riverdale, yes. Archie for Riverdale is very weird.

And if you guys remember during the time of Riverdale, Kijie Ape used to post as his alter ego Fifi. Now, Fifi had a whole separate TikTok. Fifi had its own huge following because Kji Epa is a very, very weird individual. But here's the thing. Where does it go from going from weird into actually kind of genius moves? Because KJ. Epa released music like four years ago on an album that nobody talked about.

Nobody gave a shit about. We didn't even bring it up on this show. And we love Riverdale. I think Riverdale has been unfortunately not the launching. pad of careers that we all anticipate. Well, I mean, for some. And I think in fact, perhaps the opposite. For some.

Well, but for who? I mean, Lily Reinhardt's still doing well. And, oh, God, Cheryl Blossom is still doing well. She's doing so much. You remember her name. Cheryl Blossom. Well, she's in the new strangers. She was in the last stranger.

She's in the new strangers. And I know Lily Reinhardt is getting worse. I just mean, I think that perhaps it is one of those ones where it might have, it seems like there was a bit of a recovery time for the actors. It's not you for you. It's not so much a euphoria. Exactly. I think they all thought it was going to be a euphoria, but it's not a euphoria.

Right. That's fine. But now KJ. Epa is releasing music as Mr. Fantasy. And Mr. Fantasy is this, I believe, British person. He's got butt teeth. He's got a wig on.

And he's, he loves, he does, like, love America. And he likes to work. The videos aren't necessarily even funny, per se. See, I would say I'm charmed by them. I chortled mildly, but it wasn't cringe. It wasn't cringe. It was like cringe. It's honestly, I hesitate to use this phrase because it feels like giving more gravitas to it to it than it needs.

But I feel like it is experimental art in a way. It's like it's a little bit he's doing, he's creating a character. It's a little bit like Austin Powers, but also he's making original music and he's doing kind of TikTok bits. It's longer form. It's like, you know, they're like minute and a half, minute. But like, it is an experiment. And I just, I, I'm, I am so in favor of using TikTok to do weird unexpected stuff instead

of the same stuff that I'm just like, oh, and also I'm in favor of KJ. Appa doing something, being his weird and interesting himself because Archie is such a stupid boring character that, you know, I mean, not boring. He did get mauled by a bear and survived. But like, you know, he's not exactly. don't think KJ. Epic got to flex. You got to spread his wings. Yeah. It's way better than just, I'm mom and I'm dancing. Can we survive it?

I mean, what we survive that? And we still watch all of that. And here's the thing. Mr. Fantasy dropped the part one of his first song. And it's kind of disco and it's kind of slaps. It's a great song. It's a little, it's dare I say, a little rectangular. It is a little rectangle. The whole thing is a little rectangle. But also slaps, but also kind of slaps. And I'm here for it. I like weird projects like these. do fun, exactly, do fun weird stuff. Oh my God, it just makes me think of Telemore. I can't go down the whole, I can't even, I don't know if I forced you guys to get into Telemore at all. He does Friday crazy night. It gives a lot of I am rectangular and Henry and I have been really ruining

each other's algorithms with Telemore and this guy, it's, it's, I shouldn't even be talking about this. That's COVID brain, right? COVID brain just took me. I needed everyone to know. Just took you. Took me down a pathway I couldn't recover from. But man, KJ. Appa is doing something and I want to keep watching it.

Yeah, yeah. Keep watching it. Follow. It's I am the real Mr. Fantasy. Again, we don't, I think the best thing about all the articles about this is that all the articles are like, we don't know what the fuck this is or what's happening. And I like that.

I like to leave people a little bit confused. a little bit, you know, on guard after you watch something and see what's going to happen. And I do think KJ. Epa might be a more interesting thinker than I was willing to at first. I think he's definitely surrounded by people that are like, hell yeah, let's try it. And I think that's a lot of fun. Let's be weird. I love this for you, KJ. But don't just be the heartthrob hunk, bore, snoro.

Make weird stuff. Yes. And make weird, fun, new shit. which is like the kind of stuff I hope we see more from Pam Anderson in the future because I will, there's no way that that relationship is a PR stunt. Yeah, I'm glad to see this. No way. No way.

Okay. No way. Holden. Okay. We're talking about Pam Anderson and Liam Neeson. And I want to say, thank you so much book thief was like out the gate of like, it said it's a PR stunt. It's a PR stunt.

And there was some documenting that you're not. There was some sources say it was a PR stuff. Book thief. Of joy. I love you book thief and I love it when you thief our joy. I'm gutting for you book thief. Don't you dare because book thief also sent the Pam Anderson pickles that were I'm going to be eating later on today.

Don't you say anything bad about book thief? Book thief found the $38 Pamela Anderson pickles that Jackie's not sharing with us because she has COVID. I know. Of all the days for me, us to not be in the studio together, I am so forlorn about this pickle situation. I'm going to lick every pick in there, baby. It's all going to be covered in my viz.

I can already hear the crunch, and I'm bummed. I love pickles. Do Holden, her auntie in Canada taught her how to make homemade pickles. It's something she's carried with her her whole life, her love of homemade pickles. If my penis was a pickle, I would bite it off. Good. I wish it was. Put it in some brine, God damn it.

What are we talking about? Oh, yeah, yeah. We're talking about Fabian. Okay, but here's the thing, Holden. MJ and I right now. Also go check it out over on Patreon.com slash page 7 podcast. We are for celebrities this week.

We are reading Love Pam. Love Pamela, right? Is that the name? I've already forgotten. Love. It's a longer name. It's love comma Pamela. Love comma Pamela, colon.

And then there's a poetry. I just had it. It's gone. It's gone. It's gone. It's gone. Whatever. Love comma Pamela.

Family is so fucking good. What we're trying to say, Holden, is that it's so good. And I... She is great. I think I know for a fact. Now that we are listening to her story and her words, there's no fucking way she would ever say yes to a fake relationship. Well, it hit me because I was like, that so goes against her whole deal lately with the new makeup thing and everything. She's all about authenticity.

Why would she fake this like really fun, flirty thing? even if they're not like in a full-on relationship, they're just having fun. This is the thing, too, because on top of it, now all of her people and all of his people are like, you have to go out hand in hand. You have to show everyone that you guys are a relationship. And she's like, fucking no.

I don't have to do anything. We work together all the time because we were on. That's the thing. She's with her family. She's making fucking pickles. And also she's like, we were around each other all the time when we were on tour like for the PR stuff.

And now we live to, separate lives. It doesn't mean we're not together and fuck you for trying to make us prove that we're still together. And she hates PR stunts. She said last week, I do not and will never feed into PR stunts. And that seems, again, from her memoir, incredibly true. She is just a, she is just, she is an unapologetically, uh, herself person. She is ambitious. She is extremely smart. There is, I feel, I'm having a whole. like journey learning. Pamissons.

Yeah, not having a Pamasance, but learning how she's always been so smart in our society just wouldn't let her be smart because she was too hot. But, um... So hot, dude. I would say she probably got the most loads out of me

as a young son. I know, but do you have to read this book. You need to go read the book. It's going to kill your boner forever because she... I know it will, but I will just say, but you know what, as a young man, a virile young, so virile by the way. Totally.

No, it's not going to kill your boner forever about thinking she's beautiful and amazing. It's just that specific. She's very proud of her work with Playboy. It's just that the tape. The tape was something that was done completely against her will. But I only jerked off the tape like once. The tape wasn't that hot. You can lose that boner. Yeah, yeah. It was more honestly, it was a lot of her like Maxim FHM stuff before I was watching pornography. And there you go, guys. We got to it. Holden as a guest, finally got to the things he used to jerk off to when he was a kid. content.

You know you miss it. It's been 20 minutes. I love it. From cis talk to jerking off. We get the full Holden McNeely experience today. This is why we bring you back for these reasons. And I mean, lest we,

shall we dip our toe into the giant news story that we missed over break while we were gone? Or should we let everyone just be happy that we were on break when that news story broke and that we couldn't talk about it? Because yes, Holden did. text Jackie and I, we have to record today when the news came out about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey's engagement. Fine. Yeah, the trifecta. The engagement. Oh yeah. Jirking off

and right into Taylor Swift. Yeah, yeah. Taylor Swift. So yeah. Gideon told me hours later, he was like, did you see Taylor Swift's engaged? I was like, you don't think I have already been texting with Jackie and Holden about this? That's the minute it happened. I love it too. And I love, thank you to the people who deemed me and like, hit me like I found out from anybody, other people before I found out about it like in any kind of natural social media way, which I love that.

Everyone just knows to hit me up. It's, it's my favorite. And I will say, uh, you know, congratulations. They're better than us.

They'll always be better than us. Um, there's nothing you can do about it. If you're a grumper, if you're a little grumpy grump about it. Shout out to the Gaylers, by the way. rest in peace.

I'm so sorry for your luck. The Gaylars are going through it. Ouch. Yeah, man. I have not gone on to the Gaylor subreddit, but I've seen screenshots from the Gaylor subreddit and they're spiraling. It's all good because this is what's going to happen. It's going to be like a Pamela Liam Liam thing.

This is what's going to happen. He's going to die from like a motorcycle or like a speed boating axis. He's going to die in like a dumb way. And then she's going to end up with some, you know, what's Oprah's lady? whatever, he's going to end up with some... No, Gail. Oh, is this Stadman? Does Gail, he's got...

She's going to end up with a gale. She's going to get galed up. Don't worry, it's going to happen eventually. I see. Yeah, yeah, exactly. That's how it's going to get back there. Carly Clause, hold out. A late lesbian romance kind of, it's going to be an old...

And she might not even be like, this is my girlfriend, but it's just going to be very obvious because they're going to be like eating each other's pee words and stuff on, you know what I mean? And you think it's funny that you and Nikki Glazer feel exactly. the same way about finding out about Taylor Swift. Like, she was just so happy that, like, she woke up to her phone blowing up. Yeah, just blowing up. In this, sorry, I'm just looking at a random article.

Jesus Christ, Nikki Glazer spent nearly $100,000. Yes. She did. She did. 22 eras tours. Wow. She went to a time. I was so jealous.

Yeah. She went to so many. I think that that is a good way to be a person with money, though. I mean, obviously, a better way. better way would be to get redistributed. But, you know, if you're going to, so I feel like if I had a lot of money to spend, I think being like, I'm just going to do really, really special fun stuff is good, you know. That's or, or that's why I, when people get all upset about the guy trying to live forever,

I'm like, I'd rather that than like trying to kill minorities. Like, at least he's just being weird trying to live forever. In fact, yes, please billionaires, make yourself a science experiment for us. You know what I mean? You have the money. You have the resources. You try to live for it. Do weird shit with your money.

Yeah. Better than like shutting down USAID or whatever. Yeah. Trying to just have power for power's sake. Like yeah, go try to like be the first man made out of honey. I don't know what it is. You know what I mean? That's kind of fun. And try to like outrun the bears for the rest of your life.

Yeah. Something like that. You know what I mean? I do think it's funny because Nikki Glazer has said, I think it's going to ruin some relationships to be honest. to be honest, talking about their engagement. She said, because I think a lot of people watch that and were like, I deserve that. I deserve that type of enthusiasm.

And I deserve that person who celebrates me in that way. I think there's a lot of people watching it like, maybe I deserve better. And here's a thing, Nikki, I love you seeing that from this. Because I fucking hope so. That's a nice takeaway. Yes. Right? Yeah, someone like actively supporting your creative, you know, life choices and all this kind of stuff.

That is a nice takeaway from it. I was glad we weren't recording that week because I was like, I just actually don't know what to say. Like, obviously, like, if they love each other, then I'm happy for them and they should get married. I felt like there was so many people like, how dare she say your English teacher just got engaged to your gym teacher? She's not a real teacher.

I'm like, yes, okay. Correct. But I will say, Jackie, I just want to sidebar for a second with you. Oh, yeah. Just say that I don't support the many comments MJ has made in the past towards Travis. Whoa. There was just the one. It was just, no, you don't need to be called out, MJ.

MJ was his nine on the friend scale. MJ is now a hard six on the friend scale. Because of Trevon. I got 69. I got 69. I got 96. It's a classic 69 situation with the K. Very upset by your words of deeds.

I think, and I, you know what? did feel tired of him. But also, I, uh, I just don't feel strongly enough one way or the other to continue having an opinion about it. That's the thing. I, I'm happy to have opinions about many things, but this, I do think it's nice. I agree with what Nikki said. I think it's very nice that he seems to really like being engaged, being in love with a power bitch, you know, and I think that we need lots of men who aren't afraid to be in love with big power bitches. Exactly. This is exactly like me and Jeff's marriage. This is, yeah. Thank you for likening it.

I was waiting for you guys to liken their relationship to buy a relationship. Lex is a fucking power bitch. She might be asleep right now, but she's straight up a power bitch. She is a power bitch, but I don't know if you're so, but I think you're both, you know. I think Jeff's trying to sleep. Jeff's also asleep. She's up. She's up.

She hits it. Yeah, Jeff is also asleep. Jeff has COVID and he's asleep like he should be asleep. Everybody's power bitch is asleep right now. Everybody's power bitching, but they're all asleep is they have to harness the energy. But I do. You know, I think it's great. One of the things I also, this is a subtle takeaway from the podcast, the like three hour, two hour podcast that Taylor Swift did with the Kelsey.

Did you listen to the whole thing? Did you listen to it all? Good. Talk about it. I put stuff on while like I'm playing video games. So was that hard? And even that I had to take a break from because they're, they truly are just so milked toast. They're just so supportive and positive that it gets to a point where I'm like, I need someone to start shating on somebody in the next five minutes.

Why you hate my love? Holden? Yes, it's so pure. Yeah, there's no... Yeah, you hate Jackie's love, but you love Taylor's love. How about that? Yeah, yeah.

Is that hypocritical? It is. It's hypocritical for sure. But I never said I wasn't a hypocrite. I love to say one thing to another. You know that about me. Same. Yeah, you love that.

But one takeaway I kind of loved that was very subtle was they were telling some story about whatever, and I don't remember what the story was, but she mentioned how Travis was in the other room playing video games. And he talked about how he like, she went in and told him and he took his little headset off.

And it just made me go like, she totally doesn't give a fuck that he is a, a gamer, at least in the very general sense. And he doesn't have the time to like lose him. So, you know, it's like he's still got other shit to do.

But he was definitely in a room with a full on headset on. I'm sure he was just playing like call of duty or whatever, like the most basic bitch ass video game. He wasn't playing like fucking, you know, Baldersgate 3, I'm sure. But, but, you know,

it's still kind of love the fact that, like, I never would have thought of, Taylor in the past has been with all these, like, guys that sit around and, like, read poetry in a nook or whatever. Get it a typewriter. And I just love that she's with some duffy guy that plays Call a Duty with his fucking bros.

Oh, my God. And she's like Taylor Swift, you know? Yeah. It's great. Now, I, I'm sorry to immediately take us away from Taylor, but I need the three of us, because all three of us did, watch unknown number, the high school catfish documentary on Netflix. Now, everyone, everyone.

Now, I don't, can we do this? So glad you watched it, M-Jay. Can we do this without spoiling it, guys? Yeah, yeah. What about this? I know we are notoriously really bad at giving time warnings, because we don't stick to them, but we always get to the blinds by 45 minutes. So what if we say, we're at 30-some early 30s right now? I'm writing it down. I'm writing it down. If you don't want to hear the end of unknown number, the Netflix documentary, then you should skip two minute 45. Look in the comments.

Look in the comments. And I'm going to write down the moment we're done. Okay. Look at the comments and you'll just skip right forward. Because honestly, like, yeah, it's the whole thing is that it's got a crazy, crazy, uh, twist. And for those of you that do not know, do not care, unknown number, the high school catfish documentary is a story. It is a doc talking about cyberbullying, talking about a specific case of cyber bullying where this one young girl and then eventually her boyfriend and then eventually

other people were so brutally sexually harassed via text. Via group text. Over a year. Yeah, for like 18 months, thousands and thousands of texts. thousands and it is like this story of like they have no idea where it's coming from and these are explicit it is all times of the day it is so and people like why because honestly at first it was like i mean blocked it just keep blocking the numbers keep like but they just because they were using like apps that can regenerate numbers because it is very easy to do that it doesn't matter if you fucking block them they will just get other numbers and they will just and even if you get a new phone they will get your fucking number they will figure it out and they will figure it out. Doc is so good in the sense of being that kind of whodunit doc where they just keep slowly introducing you to different people involved and different people who were suspected to be the culprit. All the parents, all of the investigators, you're meeting the local police, you're meeting the school staff.

The other kids, and they'll set it up. Be like, this kid really seemed like a prime suspect because of X, Y, Z. And so everybody thought it was them for like a while. and their whole life got shitty because of that, by the way, which makes it even worse the ending. So, yeah, spoilers. Are you guys terrified of raising children, by the way? Just throwing it out there with the cyberbullying

because all of that seems real fucking scary. Yeah, I mean, it really sucks. I don't know how. I should talk to other, I should talk to other parents who have, like, older kids and see how prevalent that really is for, like, every kid. I kind of feel like... Remember how much, like, I even just the beginning.

of AIM and all that stuff. Like, cyberbullying was beginning when we were, like, I remember times just, like, not, like, having to be on, like, private because I didn't want someone to see that I came, like, online and stuff like, you know, because that was the beginning of us being able to be bullied from school outside of school. Right. You know what I mean? I feel like that was, like, the first real, and I can only see, I'm sure a Gen Xer would

say something different, but I'm saying for a. our experience. And this is one of the, one of the frustrating things about watching the documentary. Of course, you're thinking, I was thinking from the point of view of a parent, like, how do you protect your kid from this? Just fucking take their, get rid of the phone. But, you know, they're like, well, we're just trying to figure out, we didn't want to just get rid of the phone or get a new phone because then we wouldn't have been figure out who's doing this. Who was it? Who is it? Yeah. So it's like, we want to figure out who's doing this. But also, it's like, they just go to the school and I'll love to the school. This is no shade towards school administrator.

school is like, what can we do? Like, they're trying, they're interviewing, they're investigating, but you know, it's like school. They're like, we, we don't know who's doing this. We don't know how to stop it. And then the local police are like, damned if we know what to do, they have no. So, though, to me, the most frustrating thing was they waited 19 months before getting the FBI involved. And then immediately the FBI solved it.

Like, immediately the FBI was like, oh, we just need to like figure out the IP address. And immediately solved it. And I'm like, I wish that. we'd figured this out sooner because these kids' lives got really fucked up. Their lives are most likely ruined. It's crazy. So traumatized. But my God, did I not ever in a million years see the final twist coming? And it really, really hit hard, especially as a parent of a daughter.

It was the mom of the daughter. It was a boy and a girl who were in a relationship, a boyfriend and a girlfriend, who were being harassed and it was her mom. But the one thing that I will say, because I don't even, I don't want to even get too far into it because I do want people, even if you're listening to this to still want to watch it, watch it alone for the footage of her getting caught. It's all on camera. And it into, I went back and watched it again just because you see on her face as she's

realizing everything. It's all going down. Because not only was she lying about all of that stuff, but she also was lying to her husband, and her husband comes home and he just keeps... I was filled with chills when the husband just kept being like, you're going to want to tell me if you got fired. You're going to want to tell me all this stuff.

She had lost both of her jobs. She had been fired from both of her jobs and had not told her husband. She was sending thousands of abusive bullying text to her own daughter. Her job became bullying her own daughter. And not only her daughter, but the daughter's boyfriend, all the kids, all the others. Crazy. And also, and I will throw out there, the one thing I do want to say, and I can't believe, MJ and I were talking about this earlier, if she's sending sexually explicit messages to people under the age of 18,

why wasn't that, why were there no, like, sexual predator charges? Yeah. I don't understand why it was just stalking. if you are sending thousands to underage children. One of the twists of that, one of the reasons that the documentary is so effective at having this twist is because there's the two main kids involved, right? The boyfriend and the girlfriend.

And both of their parents are interviewed. So all four parents of the two kids are interviewed. And I think that's why, including the mom who did it. And so that's why I don't, I think I never would have guessed it because normally you're thinking, all right, who's not in the documentary.

Exactly. I know. It's got to be somebody who's just not at all. Gideon and I actually knew, I had seen online that it was like about a mom doing bad things. And I was like, I think this is, I think one of the moms did it. And Gideon and I were watching were like, couldn't be any of the moms. All the moms were being interviewed. So then it turns out that it was one of the moms being interviewed.

And she's out of jail. She did a year and a half. And yeah, you know, I'm not trying to be like too carceral here. But I'm like, if the gender roles were reversed and you had an adult man sending extremely sexually sexually explicit text messages to a teenage girl, I think we would also be able to see that as a sex crime in a way that is really not. centered here. Like, it's extremely weird that this adult woman was sending explicit.

Say things like, my fingers, your pussy. Disgusting things to a teenage boy. And to your own daughter. Saying things about KMS to your fucking own daughter. Yeah, tell your daughter to kill herself. She was just like, well, I never thought she actually would. And she said, I knew she wasn't going to do it. That's, as a, as a parent watching this, you go through all sorts of things.

but I'm like, your biggest hope for your kids is that they love themselves and they make it through their teenage years, like, safely. And the idea that she's just like, well, I figured she wouldn't actually do it. I just, I don't know. I just knew. But you're really sitting here. You're left at the end of the documentary being like, I don't even understand how to process this. But then one of the cops was like, what these, it's also like these really Midwestern. The whole thing is extremely Midwestern.

And this cop's like, well, I don't know. to explain it except for, I guess, it's like, Munchausen's by proxy, but for cyber. And it's like, oh, yeah. It's cyber Munchausens, meaning she was creating the situation where her daughter was so miserable and so upset and so vulnerable that she kept coming to her. And then she was now in this important role. And also she was a victim to other people. Like my poor daughter.

Mixed with a weird infatuation with the boy. Because why would she continue to, you know, why would she continue to harass the boy after they broke up, you know, if it wasn't, you know, a mix. These people were like, I don't get why she did it. Like, I don't get the motive, um, you know, and all this kind of stuff. I was like, kind of in the discourse afterwards, like in our chat and stuff. I was like, I think it's this weird mix between the Munchausen thing and the weird. And the, this is why you shouldn't just be like weird and weirdly unemployed and lying

about having a job because you just start doing weird fucking shit. Yeah. Because the, the mind needs purpose. And if you're just sitting around all day, like, She just created this weird job for herself because she didn't have. How about the part where the mom, her name is Kendra, where Kendra's cousin, like adult cousin was like, yeah, we grew up together. We spent a lot of time together.

And she's like, she really liked attention. Like, for example, if she was in this room right now and I was talking to you guys, she would be standing next to me dancing so that everybody would look at her. And I was like, that is maybe the meanest thing I've ever heard anyone say about anyone. Could you imagine if you're that attention hungry that somebody would be like, yeah, She just, like, is incapable of being in the room without sucking up all the attention. I was like, that is the most intense character indictment of somebody you could give. Like, they just can, they are so attention-starved.

They cannot possibly share a space with anyone else. And you're so attention-starved that you'd rather ruin your teenage daughter's life for years. Insane. So that you can be the victim. It is truly, it is, yeah. And it's still being denied. She's not like, I need help. I'm damaged.

I'm fucked up. She's like, no, it didn't start with me. It was somebody else, which is not true. It's not true. I know. There's no accountability whatsoever. Nothing. The heart where the daughter, and this is just the saddest shit.

I know. Where the daughter's like, but I still want to be in a relationship. Of course she still needs her mom. You still want your, she's not her, like, imagine one day you find out the person who's been ruining your life for two years as your mom. You can't immediately stop loving your mom, you know, like she just wants. I'm so glad you want. She just wants her mom.

Did you tell MJ to scream at MJ to watch? I screamed to Jackie to watch. I screamed to me and then I screamed at MJ. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. And I was like, because I didn't know Holden if you were joining us. And I was like, I gotta talk about that. Like, it was so.

And also, it's like, it's like, it is. It's like, it's also no fat on it. It's like an hour. Because even when they reveal it, it's only like 45 minutes into the documentary when they reveal it. So it's like, oh, I mean, but then they just explain, it's a great doc. It was just really good. It's a good doc.

And if you're hungry for more, by the way, I think, where is catfish on Hulu? We started watching like best stuff. Like, like, I looked up lists of like the best catfish episodes because they're not all, you know, there's a ton of them. And but, but if you're fiending for more of that kind of thing, it's, it's a little less. I think the doc is way better than the show catfish. But man, what a fun time. There's some real fun catfish episodes out there.

There's a lot, man. It's just the problem is like. the last thing I need is to trust less. You know what I mean? How could you ever trust again? I mean, yeah, I really feel for those kids. I'm like, how do you trust again? I am watching this and I'm just like,

phones need to be taken away and buried in the ground. But I know that's not the world we live in. Well, and that's the most assidious thing. They were like, why didn't they just take the phone away? Because the mom was like, no, keep the phone. Keep the phone. Oh, well, it's terrifying. I hope you're terrified of the list.

Oh, who's on the list? Jackie, got to have that list. Extremely wild last wishes from famous people that left their families in shock. Oh, no. There are a couple of them in here that we are aware of. And I guess I feel like I knew that Tupac requested that his ashes to be smoked by members of his old group outlaws. And I do feel like every time I read this and every time, I think about Willie Nelson too, I would really like the members of BurgerFist to probably smoke

some of my ashes of a joint at some point. So Holden, if you could just write that down for future. I still got Holden's funeral, which is written down. So don't worry, I can add yours to the file. Yeah, Benny and the Jets. Is that what it is? If only he had and also said, please don't make me into a hologram. I don't want that. It's creepy and it's weird. But apparently, the members of outlaws did say, yeah, it's definitely true. They had a little memorial for him with his mom and his family. They said, we had hit the beach, threw in a lot of shit he liked at the beach, some weeds, some chicken wings.

He loved orange soda. Bach loved that kind of shit. So we were giving him our own farewell. If you listen to Black Jesus, he said, Last Wishes, Smoke My Ashes. So here's a thing. It apparently was in a song. Does that count as an official?

I guess it does count. So that's me saying it into this podcast. Yeah. And it comes in a podcast. It definitely counts in a song. Yeah. This is kind of fun. And I can't believe I didn't know this, that Lemmy from Motorhead, the Lemmy, had his ashes turned into bullets and given to his closest friends.

And that's kind of fun. What do you do with a bullet full ash? Like, I feel like I've got my dad's little ash earn over a year. And I'm like, does he? you want to be made into bullets? You have been wondering what to do with those ashes. You're going to get a lot of ideas from this list, Jackie. This is maybe, maybe this is me working through some stuff here.

And maybe, who knows, I'm worried being a podcast or how I'm going to add it into my career of what I'm going to do with the ashes, because then there's, like, the Marvel Comics editor, Mark Grunwald, who asked for his ashes to be mixed into Marvel comic book, ink. And he was inked into some comic books. And I think that's bad ass. It's okay, that's cool. But I feel like I want to consent to buying a comic book that is made from human ashes. Like, I want it to be a way.

Really? No? Also, I think you're going to spend a lot more money on one of those. Oh, yeah. I think you would know. I think you would be aware. Not just mix it, not just throw it in the bucket at the factory. It's fine.

Whatever. For sure. You can give me a comic book that has ashes in and I take it back. I'm just saying, you know, informed consent, maybe. But maybe not. Yeah, yeah. You want to know if you have some of the dead in your house. I get that.

Yeah. Just like let us know. Especially in case weird stuff starts happening. Right. When the hauntings start, you know, when I start to be visited by superheroes in the night, you know, I want to know why. I will say that there's like a very like important tattoo in the world of Crescent City where something is tattooed into a person. And I, I wish, man, I wish magic could exist for a hundred million reasons. But one of those reasons is I wish that it could be.

round up into dust and actually tattooed into my body and then I have magic tattooed into me. But I guess they're not quite there yet. So I'll keep waiting. But don't worry, we're waiting every Halloween, Harry Houdini. Because Harry Houdini offered a reward to anyone who could prove they could contact the dead while he was alive. And also asked his wife to hold an annual seance on Halloween to try and contact him. And every year at Houdini's great. there is a seance to try.

Now, this is the problem, though, is that a lot of people try to do this, and Harry Houdini is buried out in, I believe, bleed out in Queens. And there's always crazy security guards because so many people try to break in to hold seances on his grave on Halloween. Because those were his wishes. But you can't really break into it. Oh, yeah, it's in Glendale. That's not far. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's not far. It's like, I don't think it was like close to where we had grown up as kids. And so it always, I always felt the magic of Houdini. Now this, we all know. And I do have, I did have a friend that got to go see it. Hunter S. Thompson had his ashes blasted out of a cannon. Yes. And he went out to, uh, they spent.

So apparently Johnny Depp spent three million dollars to arrange the request. Uh, a lawsuit from Depp's former. managers explained Thompson's ashes were fired from a cannon that was placed atop a 153 foot tower shaped like a double thumbed fist clutching a peyote button. I love it. Awesome fucking cool. Now this, we're talking about like having the kind of money like, oh, that's, this is, this is what you do.

You have shit like that to like honor a friend of yours, you know? I, uh, love that whole story. I was huge, huge, still am huge Hunter Thompson. fan. That was just the most Hunter Thompson-ass way to send him off. What a wild dude, crazy dude. Yeah. Yeah. And this has nothing to do with ashes. This is just sweet. It kind of made me sad. Jack Benny requested a single red rose to be delivered to his wife every day for the rest of her life after he passed. Oh my God. And so he had set up that a florist would deliver them daily to make sure that he knew, that she knew that he was still there and that he loved her.

I don't need to cry right now, Jackie. We all deserve the love that Taylor has. I know. I have it and everyone should have it. And I love love. And I'm not going to start crying. I'm vulnerable. All right.

It's difficult for me right now. Don't look at me. Don't look at me. Do you think that Travis would do that? or would he forget? He might have somebody set it up. Maybe he'll come up with the idea to be like, somebody like make sure that happens.

And then maybe an assistant will make sure it happens. Yeah. Beautiful. Yeah, he loves her. Yeah, he does. It's just like everything. You know what I mean? And you're just grumpy about them

because you don't have it. Okay, listener? Oh, I thought you were yelling at. I have it. I have it. I have it. We're both heavily. We're both.

Yeah, we love our partners. And you've got your arms. cross right now, don't you? Even though somehow you're driving a car and I don't like it and you need to get over it. Whoa. Although last but not least, I will just throw it out there. Janice Joplin set aside $2,500 for the post-death party. And she set that up young. So I mean, to make sure that you have a big old fuck off party to say goodbye is fun. Wow. Very fun. Have that plan in place before you're 27 is although you're a certain type of person in your 20s, you're thinking about it. I think you're thinking about it.

Yeah, I was thinking about it. I thought I was going out young. Yeah. Yeah, me too. I thought I was going to, yeah, I thought I was going to get bitten by a snake or something in a carnival fire. Is that what you brought? It's not too late. It's not too late, Holden.

Here I am. But you know what else is too late? It's too late for me to have 2020 vision because I think I am going. Why? Right. We can't see them. This closeted actor got married so he could get some inheritance money he would have missed out on if he came clean about his sexuality. Whoa.

Who got married after? You Jackman? No, he's not married, though, to Sutton Foster. Younger. Younger. Tony Collette. I love that guess, but no. Tony Danza.

What is he not Tony? Sam Mendez. Is he married? He's not. married, but you're in the right generation. Who's the guy who played Captain Kangaroo? The guy who played Captain Kangaroo. Sam Mendez.

Why did I say Sam Mendez? It's not who I was thinking of at all. What's that, well, what was that little pop guy's name? Yeah, so does his name Sam Mendez. Oh, not Sam Mendez. Now I'm thinking Sam Mendez, but that's not who we mean. We mean the other guy. You know who I'm talking about.

Why can't I think? I mean, I know why I can't think of his name. Gay closeted Mendez. Is that him? Me? No. Okay. I'm sorry.

Is that what your issue has been? Sean. You should really come out of the closet. Sean Mendez. Thank you. That was an instance of once you say it wrong, you can't think of the right thing. I couldn't. It wasn't, it wasn't coming to me.

I'm sorry. Little Gay Mendez. No, not him. Okay. Not him. Got married though. Okay. So were they ever married?

What do you talk about? The person in question is relatively newly married, I think. and they are a nepo. Not Bon Jovi. He is not, no, although that would be fun. Oh, that would be fun. They are a nepo. Congratulations to their adoption of a baby.

It's so ridiculous how many people are shitting all over them because they're too young. They're both very, very rich. They have a lot of fucking stability. They're going to be fine. Oh, are you talking about a stranger thing? That's not the answer. John Bon Jovi.

Not John Bon Jovi. John Bon Jovi. John Bon Jovi. Child. God. You guys listening to me in my COVID break. I'm sorry to everyone listening to this episode. I feel like my brain has barely existed.

This actor is, everybody thinks he's closeted. He is a nepo baby. He is at a show that everybody loves. It was really popular. It's the most trendy popular show, but it's over now. But when it was happening, everybody had to watch it. Euphoria? He is the child of a...

I don't know how to not give it. away. He oh, okay, all right, sorry. I'm trying. A trinity show when it was going on. Trendy show, it just, it's season just wrapped a couple months ago.

Everybody was obsessed with it. And he was kind of this breakout star of it. Jeremy Allen White, but he's not an Epo Baby. No, it's not the bear. It is a show about people doing bad things when they're on vacation. Oh, White Lotus. White Lotus.

And I still don't. Oh, Patrick Swordson-Hager! Thank you. God damn it. Patrick Swartz and Anger just got married. God, damn. I apologize for not having better clues. I never would have gotten that one.

I just wouldn't have thought Patrick Swartzstein. Because he's like, he's like newly becoming a big deal. But he just got married. And that makes it because like it, there's a lot of eyes on him right now. And, you know. Oh, yeah. It was like last week that he got married. Yeah.

I feel like he's not. Personally, I'm not getting gay dar on him at all. No, I'm just getting, I'm just getting brother kissing. Yeah, get a lot of brother kissing just dusted on there. But, you know, I guess it's something that the wife could look past. God, I think I blocked that out. Jesus, that was so upsetting. I know, it was really upsetting. Is that why there's so many, like, where, I wonder where the, like, the closeted idea come?

Like, where is that? I literally thought the same thing. I was like, do people just think he's closeted because he had a brother kiss? Yeah, because I'm just not getting. I mean, I don't have great Gator per se, I guess. I think we're in a post-Ga-R world now. I don't think there is, I don't even think that you can really like, be like, oh, yeah, I think he's, I also don't know where this is coming from.

I think it's, I guess it's just rumors, like in the industry or whatever. But whatever. Blad number two, the hard to spell model is a shark when it comes to finding anyone who will get her publicity. Ratzskakowski. She has her claws in the singer-actor who never lost his accent. Whoa. She's with Ritzkowski.

And she's with Bradley Cooper? No. A different person who never lost his accent. Oh, oh, oh, Elvis. Yes. Austin Butler. Austin Butler. I was like, Holden, he's dead.

So I think he has lost his accent. I think. I've spent five minutes on life. Spim five minutes on life. She's not alive anymore. They had a cozy outing in NYC, and they sparked couple's speculation. Thank God Holden that you said her name because there, it is just a blank spot in my life. Well, I said it's so right.

But those are her existence. I know. Are you kidding? I forget. I forget about her. She's got tinsic and fill a room. She's very hot, and she did. She's a very attractive person.

I'm not saying she's had a very attractive person. Carious. If I had a straw and her butt hold. I don't know what would have. Line number three, in order to try and get a criminal case dropped, a lawyer for this defendant had asked to depose the special friend. Okay, sorry, a lawyer for the defendants had asked to dispose the special friend of this permanent A-list actor who likes to fly planes. The actor doesn't want the deposition to take place at all.

Jondra? Yeah, Jackie, it's a jontra. Wow, we've got a Jontra. Oh, my God. Who is talking about Jondra Volta right now? I read this blind so many times because I was trying to figure out what's happening in it. And it's unclear. But I just needed to include it for the longtime page 7 listeners who remember that Jantra always used to be in the blinds because of his love of flying planes and getting massages from young men.

Part of the reason why we started blind items in the first place was because so many blind items were about John Travolta and the massages. and the flights and the dick suckings and the flights, you know? Yeah, this, there's a, there's the article linked, I'm, unfortunately does not really shed much more light on this. Jean Travolta's trust is suing like a jet company about the engineering of the jet. Sounds like a lot of rich people things. Yeah. That happens when you're rich people and then it sounds like a trial of rich people.

But the blinds make it sound like it's a lawsuit about. you know, massages on private planes in a gayway, but it's not. It's about, but it's not. It's about a boring lawsuit. In fact, you bringing up, John Trude did make me realize we didn't even get into the VMAs, but we will get into it on second helpings because I need to talk about Mariah. That's right. Yeah.

And shout us to Sabrina Carpenter as well. Oh, my. What a wonderful, wonderful performance. I do have to bring this up about with Winnie. It was so funny that I was like, I had to take her to the doctor the other day. And I was like, oh, yeah, well, listen to the new. the new album, this new Sabrina Carpenter album, and I put it on, and it was both so dirty, and also Winnie, like, loved it.

And now she's like, let's listen to the new album. I'm so afraid she's going to ask for tears at, like, her dance, dance along at Montessori school. Daddy, why are tears running down her thighs? Daddy, why does she get wet at the thought of you? Daddy? And she loves to ask what the name of songs are. And she's like, what's the name of this song? I'm like, never getting.

laid. Luckily, I never had to, like, answer what that, because even the song titles are, you know, I mean, as far as explicitness goes, it's not like, you know, it's all very like nothing burger compared to other stuff. Yeah, but when you're trying to explain, like, you know, it's like, yeah, never getting laid. When did you get hot? Go Go Go Juice. Don't worry. I'll make you worry. Like, how do you explain? Like, MJ, how are you going to explain it to your kids? Because they're a little bit older. I was like, don't worry, I'll make you worry. It's like oat milk because she likes oat milk so much. She has, oh, she's like, what's go-go? What's, what's, what's go-go juice? I'm like, it's, uh, you know, it's oat milk.

Uh, she's love, you know, when that oat milk is really hit and winning, you know, I just love to picture Holden figuring out how to answer these things. Yeah, I feel like my thoughts on this is that usually the stuff that's over head just goes right over the head. They have no idea. I feel like Chapel's fairly explicit. Right. You know, pretty much.

Now, it's so funny. it used to the whole the whole thing with Papa was all innuendo now it's just right out in the oven and she says fuck in every song

it is so crazy I mean I love it but I'm also as a child haveer it's causing it a kind of an awkward situation no you're right old and it is a little bit more explicit

now since there's not radio at it so it was like yeah because I always think of my example is that my best friend from work talked about how when she was like 10 years old she would always walk around going baby I like it raw

yeah yeah yeah So you could still be pretty explicit back then, but there was the radio. You know, raw foods. She's just on a help kick. Sure. There's definitely some parts of Red Wides Supernova when my kids ask me about it. I'm like, I'm not, we're going to just keep it moving. Let's listen to K-pop Demon Hunters instead.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, so good. Are they really into it? They love it. Oh, we are living and breathing at K-pop Demon Hunters. Yeah, I bet. It is so good. I want to show it to Witty.

I think it's a little outside of her range at this point. little too old. Because the demons are, even like my kids' peers, my kids weren't scared of the demons, but like I feel like that it's cusp. But, you know, I actually was thinking about this with Taylor Swift and how people get so upset if we are not nice to Taylor Swift. And I was thinking about it with K-P demon hunters. Or if we're not mean to Taylor Swift. Or if we're not mean. Yeah, we're either not nice enough or not mean enough. But like, I was thinking about this with K-pop demon hunters because like the kids are just so excited about it. And so many kids are so excited about it. But now it's been like a month. And of course now there's the like, oh, you're still like that.

thing or like, you know, like, so my kids, my kids saw a kid with a K-pop Demon Hunter's shirt and they were like, I like your shirt. And, you know, I'm like, yes, culture is a thing that makes us connect with other people. It brings us together. Like, what a great. And the kids like, I don't even like Cape Demon Hunters anymore. And it's like, okay, sure, that's your right. Why are you wearing the fucking shirt then dork? That's what I would have said. They literally, my kids were like, then why do you have the shirt on? Yeah. Why are you wearing the shirt then weirdo? But it did make me think of TAY because I was like, I have seen it at the playground. Same. Another friend was like, I can't wait until the K-hop Demon Hunter's

trend is over. And I'm like, it's totally fine that you don't like K-pop Demon. You don't have to like it. But then also I was like, but you got, let, let them like it. Let them like it. And I am trying. We've talked about how we used to be, Jackie and I were haters in middle school. And I'm like, I really try not to be a hater. You know, I try to let people. You got to go through your hater phase, though. It just is. Yeah, everybody has it. Of course. Oh, yeah. A seven-year-old trying on hate-old trying on hate. You're going to be, you're going to be trying this on for years. And so I get it. You have to be, you have to be like, even Freddie was like, you know, at the beginning of the summer,

Labibos were popular. But at the end of the summer, K-Pap Demon Hunters are popular. So I'm like, yes, you are noticing trends. And then now you'll see the backlash. Now in a few months, people will be like, I can't believe you still have a Labibu or whatever. But I'm like, if K-Pap Demon Hunters brings you joy,

then like rock your joy. And I don't want to take that from you. Oh, my God. To be able to watch Freddie start to understand the dynamics of trails, and just as a whole, that's crazy. I know. It was an astute observation. But I'm like, you know, people might start moving on from Cape Demon Hunters, but if you guys still like the music,

you should listen to the music. Like, and so I will try to do the same and let you guys like whatever it is that you like, even if it's Taylor's love for Travis. Thank you. Yeah. Wow. There's not too much of them. We don't have enough of them. I mean, now that they're all, they're having their sports, though, now it's like, now everyone is saying, to there's like talks of Taylor doing the half-time show for the Super Bowl that come out. I feel like at that point, like it would be fun, but I almost feel like it's too much.

Like I feel like it's just, it's like, girl, go plan your wedding. M-Jackie's dad to be. Go on. Well, it was the same with Eric. After 2023, everyone was like, okay, we need a break from Tay. And I think that Tay maybe took the note and was like, all right, I'll rec seed into the distance a little bit. Like, it makes sense.

Yeah, Labibu's and everyone needs a break. Like, I understand that no trend lives. forever. And Tay's not a trend. She's a whatever. She's a timeline. But she's a whatever. Whoa. She's a whatever. But I do think that. Oh, MJ, you're going from 69 all the way down to, I don't know, 68 over here. Yeah, yeah. But I, I think that you're right. The people get really, people feel like they're too steeped in Tay. And so I think that's got to be a difficult game to play when you are Taylor to be like, I, people are very tired of me.

What do I do? Yeah. And you just got to keep on, keep it on. It's a good balance. Can't wait for the new album. When is it? What is it?

Is that October 13th, right? Yeah. I mean, to be honest with you, too, a real talk. I mean, I'm way more interested in just like listening to the new album. I'm sure it's cool. She's getting married. Good stuff.

Honestly, secretly might be more excited for the divorce album than the marriage. But, but regardless, I just am excited to hear this new, new album. You did text Jackie and I, in one month, everything will change. Yes. Which I said felt very ominous.

Yes. I did know it was about the album. About Taylor. Yeah, I'm so excited. Yeah, we've got, oh my God, one, two, three weeks from Thursday. Because it always comes out 9 p.m. Like, the night before, because it's like a midnight release on the East Coast. Oh, yes.

So you guys will have a fun Jack in that Friday. Oh, well, you know. know, it's weird with that. It's really depends. It's really weird with that. People really bring, talk about Haterade. People really love to bring the Haterade and throw it all over my face during the day after a T. the day at T. Swift album release.

And I will also say Holden sometimes maybe shows up a little bit ready for that. And maybe you're pride. Maybe I get a little angered easily. Maybe you're angered easily. You know, maybe it's talk about more cycles, you know. MJ, can you let Jackie know that. She is now gone from a... Oh, and I am now.

Wow, I got 69. Yes, absolutely. I'm having a blast. It's fascinating how we victim blame in 2025. It's fascinating how we victim blame. Yeah. Oh, you're the victim in this? Yes, Jackie.

Unfortunately, a white man can become a victim too. Good, good. A cis white man can also be a victim. Can also be a victim. Good, good, good. Oh, my God. I'm laughing. I'm still laughing about you mixing up, Sean.

This was Sam Mendes, by the way. Sam Mendes. Very different people. And I was thinking Melendez. Oh, yeah, that's a whole other. Yeah. That's a different one too. But Janice.

But Jackie doesn't need your friendship holding because she's got Pamela Anderson's pickles. Yeah, just me and my pickles. Wait, are we done with the blinds? Yeah, I did. Yeah, I can see again. I think I'm J can see again. I was just making sure. I was like, wait, am I still guessing something?

No, no, we're not guessing anymore. I can see again and I'm hungry for Pamela. Anderson's pickles. Yes, I guess it's time for Jackie Snackys. Hit it, April. I've been a snackie girl. Snacky. I've been a snackie girl. Snacky. I've been a snackie girl. Snacky. I've been a snackie. Snacky. Is somebody going to eat those chips? Is somebody going to dip those dips? Is somebody going to try those candies? I got seminar. They say I'm a snack clean. Oh, nice. Yeah.

Well, now there's, yeah. You can't hear it, Holden. Wait, also, if you say hit it April, you know the D.K. It's Donkey Kong. Yeah, yeah. It's a donkey Kong. But April knows that over here is not. It's different here.

April hit it. Don't you, April. But also, April, if you want to hit it, you know, I can't stop you. Yeah, Holden's back. You got to hit it when it says. Yeah, I guess, yeah. If you want to say it again, Holden. April, hit it.

Okay. Here we go This monkey rap Hockey come I love it That's just for you, April That's for some of them Very small for you guys

Now I am opening up Pamela Anderson's pickles Now one thing I will say I was a little nervous I got COVID mouth So you know it's going to be a little bit weird But I don't try these pickles I've been staring. They were delivered like the first day of our break

and I've just been staring at them in the fridge ever since. But you can taste, right? You haven't lost your sense of taste. I can taste. It will be, it will be interesting. Okay, these are smelling good. Oh, my God. The little spicy it looked like in the description.

They are a little spicy. Now it does say, which I love. So Pam Anderson does make these pickles. 100% of it goes to an organization. go to the California Wildlife Center and nonprofit near and dear to Pamela's heart. Now it does say mustard, dill, garlic, and rose with pink peppercorns, guahill, chilies, and smoky sea salt.

My only issue is sometimes Rose can overpower. But I just open this up, and it is not overpowered with Rose. This is just smelling like some good. God damn. I am lying. with jealousy. I'm blind again. I was blind.

I was blind. I could see. I lost my eyesight. I know. I'm so bad. I am going to eat this a little away from it. No, do it right in. Crunch, crunch.

Crunch. Slop, slap. I don't even hear it. It's so good looking. Oh, I want that. Oh, she just got hit with something. Ooh. Yeah.

Is it a multi- Yeah, you just kind of got hit. It looked like Jay got smacked in the face. Oh, that's good. Honestly, because at first I was like, oh, no. Do I not taste it? that much. And then as I ate it just

boomed in my, and it's because I've got COVID. That's a delicious pickle. Yeah. And also, if you're nervous about the rose, it is not too, I think that the rose is more maybe for look than anything because it's not given too much rose. Honestly, just tastes like a really great pickle. Nice. And the fact that they are $38.

I was going to say, how many pickles are in there? Are we talking? How many experiences? It's a pretty good big. It's a 24 ounce and it is like packed. They were like pickles on top like on top as well. All right. Completely shoved full of pickles. And we learned in the Pam Anderson book that she learned from Auntie Vi, who taught her how to make pickles.

And I got to say a friends of mine from Wisconsin every year will make me homemade pickles. And these tastes a lot like them. I. And bitch, I love a homemade pickle, book thief. Thank you so much. Oh, book thief. This is awesome. If you were able to give $38 of your money for these handmade pickles, I would recommend you too.

But if you don't, it's okay. Yeah. Oh, man. It won't, you know, it's still delicious pickles. $38 is a lot. I'm going to admit it's a lot. It's hard to see myself, like, regularly. spending that much on pickles.

Oh, no. Absolutely do it for one jar. But I like it. Honestly, even like with book TV, like, it is, if you know someone that, like, would be interested in something like that, would be interested in like a Pam Anderson. Like, it is a really great gift that you can actually eat.

Yeah. So at least you get something out of it. Yeah. It's a lot more than anything fucking goop ever tried to sell us. And it is, we should say, just for objectivity, it is more expensive than Megan Markle's jams. It's more expensive than the jams. It is more expensive.

Although, you know, the jam experts were saying it's runny jam. It's runny jam. For that point, they say the jams runny. Oh, yeah. But MJ, MJ's Minute Mongeys. Ooh. Everything they snack. MJ's minute J's.

Ooh. Now I did. What do we snack it on? We are snacking today on chili, lime, seaweed. snacks. They are tocky flavored seaweed snacks. Whoa. You know, I'm not trying to do the Jake thing and only eat things made out of like guava root or whatever, but you know, when I see my spicy chip flavor on a seaweed, I love seaweed. I love spicy chip flavors. And I also want to shout out Jackie for influencing me to talk about snacks because I was at the middle school yesterday, uh, where I am now

interning and some kids were eating the Doritos Taki, like the Doritos version of Tockeys. Hell yeah. And I went up and I said, are they better? better than talkies or worse than talkies. And then we talked about the snacks. And then you're talking about the talkies. I love it. Snackies can be a way in for your conversation. Honestly, in a way that we started page seven as a way to explain pop culture to people

that know nothing about pop culture to give you something to talk about, which is why we started page seven. I do feel like snacks are also a really great way. What is it rest? It's like what you do for recreation, eating. Shut bitch And travel I forgot what the S was for

Those are things rest Those are things you can always take small talk about I never heard that before Well I can't remember what the S means Shut bitch That's when you tell them to shut Shut bitch Yeah that's shut

Sex maybe I don't think it's Yeah I got blown it off this morning By a fucking man in a monkey costume Yeah always ask about that Yeah That kind of stuff is great you guys. The seaweed. They're like a monkey escape from a zoo this morning. It's so good. It has the like nice spiciness of the tocky or you know that yeah, it's a taki. It's tachy powder on

a seaweed and it's perfect. It's to powder on a sea. Do you are, do you, are you like, are you, is your home a large consumer of the seaweed snacks? My kid used to eat it and I was like, oh, thank God. You know, anytime your kid starts eating something that has nutritional value. She ate it for like a month. She loved the plain seaweed and kids love it. Kids love seaweed, but we're off the seaweed now. But I'm going to keep trying. Keep tried. Maybe if there's some tocky dust on it.

Maybe with the taqui dust. Maybe they might be into it. Maybe if it's a given talkie. The more it resembles a chip, the better. But yeah, man, if you see the chili lime seaweed snacks, get those chili lime seaweed snacks. It's fantastic. I'm going to inhale this thing once we're off the call.

Nice. I'm also really excited because I've been looking everywhere. And also, shout-outs to Cass, love you so much. I've been looking everywhere. Reesies and Oreos have put out a collab. They're doing Oreos with the actual Reese's filling. And then they're also doing peanut butter cups with chunks of Oreos inside of peanut butter cups. See that. When I was a kid, there was something called Reese's crunchy cookie cups.

Does anyone remember Reese's crunchy cookie cups? No. There was Reese's crunchy cookie cups. And it was a Reese's. It sounds like exactly what you're describing. it was like a Reese's but it had like chunks of Oreo in it. Yes. Yes.

It's going to see, I think it's going to be just like that. Oh my God. Yes. Yes. It was like a limited thing. It's back. I remember buying it at the okey dokey and then it disappeared. At the okey dokey.

The okey dokey had the Reese's crunchy cookie cups. You're the cutest person alive. Oh, my brother will be so excited. We loved the reso crunchy cookie cups. So I found them and I was so excited, but it was like the day I realized that I was like, oh, I'm starting to get hit. with COVID. So I was like, I want to save them for when my mouth is all the way back. Yeah, ready. Your mouth ready. Yeah. I need to get my mouth ready. So I might just end up eating them on second helpings because like I got to try them soon. I got to see if they are

just like the crunchy cookie cups. Yes. Oh, that's great news. This is great news. I'm so excited. Thanks, guys. It's really, it's all great news. Everything's looking great. Everything's great. Everything's going to be fine. You know, we're making it through. And Holden, You know, do you have anything you want to plug? And I guess I'm not talking about like your wife or whatever you're going to say. Of course, no, I got it in last slide. It's very good. I'm very planned.

Extremely planned. I knew we were going to hear when it had it last. But we had it planned it. We planned it. We got it done. There's nothing wrong with planning sex. Executed perfectly and brilliantly. But what I will say is Jack with the Holdies on my channel every Friday with Jackie,

Twitch.tv. Oh, your wife just walked behind. mind you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The walk of shame. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And does she want to talk about it? Does she need to give us a review of how it went?

And, uh, yeah, Twitch. dot TV forward slash hold date or so every Friday with Jackie, uh, 3 p.m. PST, 6 p.m. B.S.T. Uh, check us out on there. And also, of course, check us, uh, me out over on Nerd of Mouth. Nerd of Mouth, uh, every week. We're nerd stuff. If you like it, get into it.

me, Mike Lawrence, and Jake Young do awesome, fun, entertaining, funny, nerd-based content podcast. Hell yeah, you do. And LPNTV on YouTube. Subscribe now. We got really cool stuff coming over there pretty soon. And I think that's it. Yeah, we got a lot of stuff coming down the pipeline, y'all. So just tuck in if you're like, they couldn't do anymore.

Don't worry, we can. We can. And we will. And thank you so much, Holden, for hanging out with us today. Thanks for having me. Thank you, Hold on always wonderful to have you back.

Come back soon. Yes, I'm so glad you're not just randomly smelling like chicken soup ooze anymore. And I'm really, really proud of you. And the stitches out tomorrow and it'll be, it's over. I could grow back apparently. That's cool.

Oh, fun. Oh, that's awesome. But he said he got a lot of me. So. Oh, good, good, good. Yeah, and you was really check. Thank you everybody for hanging out with us. We will be back tomorrow with Second Helpings.

Thank you so much, MJ. We love you all so much, and we will be back very soon. Bye, everybody. Bye, everybody. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to,

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