Page 7 - WHERE'S THE BEACH?

Episode Date: August 29, 2024

This week on Page 7, it's SUMMA VACAY! Join Jackie, Holden and MJ as they read YOUR Where's the Beach?! moments while the LPN crew is out creating their own!  Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Did I know what song you're singing? We like, we like to money. We like to money. We like, we like to buy. That's the same thing that I do exactly with the Vanga Boys. Yes, of course it's the Vanga Boys. Because of Vanga Boys. Everybody's shopping.

New York does up for Tisg. And end up saying it just go. The Wales up. Stay a lot down. And I drive back a lot of bad. And if you like to party, come on and move your body. Welcome to the Where's the Beach episode. I just think it's so funny that you just went.

It's like a bang of boys. Her than I are both like, oh, it's a deep cut today. That wall of noise that Jackie's making actually connected with my fucking... You could hear the echoes of the steel drums just blasting off the inside of a school bus, I would assume, that they are coming to your town in. Weirdest intro for a song ever with the horn honking. It is so... It's perfect.

It's iconic. It is iconic, man. It really brings it. brings me back to being a horny middle schooler. And isn't that what summertime's all about? Yeah. I mean, we're going to be talking about sort of a little bit being horny middle schoolers and high schoolers and, you know, college too. I was just thinking about some crazy stories I had. We've got stories in from our wonderful listeners as well. Thank you guys so much for sending in your Where's the Beach stories. So for those of you that are like, all right, you guys have you kind of explained where's the beach. and just honestly do yourself a favor if you have never seen the clip of Snooki out on the Jersey Shore Beach.

I think it might be from season two of Jersey Shore. I think season two sounds right. It was early. It was early shore days. And she's just so drunk. And it's middle of the day. She's been drinking with a bunch of strangers. And she runs out to the beach and starts screaming,

West the beach. Like on the boardwalk. She's literally in front of the beach. And it's just such a great way of tapping into that feeling that we've all had at least once in our lives where we went too hard. Sometimes you go to party. In retrospect, she has said she did not mean to say, where's the beach? She was just so drunk. She didn't know how to make sentences properly.

She was trying to say, how do I get to the beach? You want to be on the beach. to that beach. But it, of course, was lost in Trunken Translation. And this was, of course, the notorious episode where she was arrested,

not much longer after that for public intoxication. I don't know why. I think she was unjustfully taken aside, but I guess we had to just stand by and allow it to happen to the poor girl in the middle of the day while she screams, where's the beach?

Absolutely. We've been there before. Oh, yeah, that's the thing. This is a judgment-free zone, okay? Completely. We are here to hear your stories. We're here to share ours. We're here to even talk about some celebrity,

some other messy celebrity moments. And again, judgment-free zone. If you are at a better place in your life that these stories won't resonate anymore, then we are happy for you. And you know what? If you're still living that life, brat girl summer, okay?

And one more factoid about Snookies Where's The Beat's Story. When asked on Twitter what she had to drink that day, She responded, beer, vodka, seltzer, Soco shots, chocolate pretzel shots, Long Island. Ooh. Which is a rough combo. A brutal combination. First of all, I have to call out the chocolate pretzel shots.

Kind of reminds me of the espresso martini. What do you like to say? I may have enjoyed once. Yeah. I love an espresso martini. Thanks for bringing it up. A Long Island I see and Soco shots and Southern comfort shots. Think of a Soco days.

I don't know. Maybe it was just more of a Tallahassee drink. But I felt like I spent many a summer sucking back the syrup that is Soko. And I can honestly say I don't think I've had a taste of Soco in 15 years. Yeah. My thing was when we were in like middle school, high school, high school, I didn't really start drinking till 10th grade high school. When we would go to like the beach or whatever, we would just bring like, we would

get the most alcoholic bottle of, like, I remember it was either Schmernoff 100 or I think we switched to Knob Creek, which was a hundredproof whiskey. And we'd have to, like, take shots in our bedroom in secret. Right. And then, like, go out into the night. Oh, yeah. That's the problem. So you're like, oh, we can't, we're children, so we can't drink in public. Yeah. So we need to have as many shots as we can now. Yeah. You're in the secrecy of our. But then you're so charming. I was like walking out of the bedroom, boom, like,

oh my God. Yes. No, it's not wise. It's hitting like fast. It was like a ejection plan. Yeah, we had to get out quick with the cigarettes and the lighter.

Very important. Yeah. And just flail around on the beach. Yeah. But it was an operation and it was so crazy. Uh, uh, to thinking back. Like I would never ever drink like that at a million years. Like,

you know, it, nowadays. And I can't believe. I did it back then. You think that we would do that before any time we would go out, we would drink like that before leaving. Even though when we were of age, we would still do that and pregame before we went anywhere, anytime we would do anything, you would get together to pregame before we would go anywhere. And that to me is such a way of life that's really

dedicating yourself to the idea of being an alcoholic, you know? But also, just in the, in the, you know, if people are listening and they're like, you guys, this isn't healthy. We know, okay. But I also want to. We've grown. We need you to know. This is all coming from a place of we're speaking of this after having grown from this. We're celebrating the messy years, the sloppy years, you know.

But at the same time, the re, I think there is a reason, like, I'm going to be going through all these stories thinking about, you know, oh my God, I hope my kids don't do this as teenagers. But also, at the same time, the reason why pregame, like, there is honestly still a part to me as a 38-year-old adult that misses pre-gaming because it was a community-based ritual. And I feel like there is, we are a, we are starved for community-based rituals. It's why you wanted to go to church as a kid. It wasn't really as much about spirituality. Yes. It was about the community, MJ. And that was the same thing.

And the bagels, mostly about the bagels. And the bagels. Some of this, like, some of these messy drinking traditions that a lot of us did when we were young, they actually, I still have a lot of fondness for them, not because of the health implications, physical. and mental, but because it was like, you know, there was a lot of like wonderful community building that happened during those times too, which is why I think we look back on those times largely with fondness, even if not completely with fondness. Yeah, I think that's what when we were first

starting to talk about this episode, I was like, my biggest problem is my craziest stories, you'd have to ask someone else. Right. I mean, I was looking through some videos I have. I have one specific video of us just sitting at a bar and it's us talking to each other but nobody is actually making any sense. And there was so much of that. I was trying to see if anything

was like going to spark a memory and be like, oh, I remember that one. But so much of it I heard about the following day and be like, I did what? And no one would know I was blacked out. And again, if this is your life, you do and might have a problem.

Right. You don't want it to talk to somebody about it. You don't want to go into that direction of like, oh, I don't remember anything anymore because then you blink and you're 37 years old and you're like, I don't remember the summers. Yes. Yes. So there is a healthy little balance here that we can strike where we are, you know,

valuing the silly, reckless time together, but also still taking care of ones, general health. And I think that we are at 37, 38, and 41, very situated to do that in this very episode. Absolutely. Yes. So thank you guys for hanging out with us because also we are going to be talking about stories like, oh, did I read multiple accounts of the women on the set of practical magic

during the iconic midnight margaritas scene where all four women were actually drinking margaritas and we all got hammered together. And just thinking, like that kind of just genial spirit of like all of, do you imagine being in a room, Nicole Kidman, Stocker Channing, Diane Weiss, Sandra Bullock, and they're all hammered and you're just having a blast together. Oh, my dream. It's my dream. I want to make midnight margaritas with them. Oh, man. Well, so should we launch this? Should we kick this pig with a listener email? I would love to kick this off with a listener email, MJ. All right. So this one, I love the way it's starting already. It is from Ashley, and the salutation is hello from Florida. Florida. It's out of a drug.

So you know it's going to be good because they make big mistakes down there. I just feel like this is a good intro into the idea and a little bit more literally than you would expect. All right. So Ashley writes, here we have a saying where the beach is supposed to be no more than 90 minutes in any direction. My husband and I were living in Orlando at the time, and we were getting in our car after lunch. A man drove up to us and frantically asked, Hey, I just came from the airport. Where's the beach? We were both confused and thought the man was joking, but he seemed very sincere. To get to the beach in either direction is about the same amount of time to the west coast or the east coast.

I pointed in both directions, and my husband said, you just have to pick any direction other than north, and you will eventually get there. The man said, I have a flight in a couple of hours. I just want to hit it up real quick. We tried to explain that it was probably a bad idea as the closest beach was about 70 minutes away if you went east. The man then thanked us and said he was going to head that way.

Ten years later, we still bring up the story because even though we do have a lot of beach here, that man might have been in the worst part of Florida to ask that question. We hope he made it to both the beach and his flight. And with that determination, I suppose anything is possible. I love this, Ashley. It's such a funny. It's such a silly funny of all the places in Florida to be. You're the furthest away from the beach, bro. I don't know what to tell you. Such a literal where's the beach.

Yeah. I can't believe we got any literal where's the beach. That just, that just, that just, that just, I love it. That just gets me on like, people just travel so differently. Like, I'm so fucking dialed in on travel. And there are other people I know that just like, they just, that just, that just, that's, that just, kind of show up at the airport. What are my favorite facts? Jackie's ex, his dad, would literally still to this day just go to the

airport to buy a ticket. Can you imagine? Pathological. He would go to the airport to buy a ticket, not tell us he was doing it, show up, and he'd usually show up at some random hour, and usually we would be at work. So where would you find him? Usually

over at the park, drinking with people on benches. You just go get tallies and put it in a paper bag and sit with the houseless people and hang out with them until we were off of work. It was like, I just, that always blew me away that there's still people at this very day that just go to the airport and go, I want a flight to. One ticket, please. And just like, they're like, well, the next one leaves in seven hours. So I guess you're going to be waiting for a while. Yeah, is there even like what airline?

Like, is there just like a command central to just get a ticket somewhere? I think you just pick an airline. I guess you probably just have a preferred airline. You just show up there. You know, you probably know which one has, like, I guess maybe regular. I don't know what you know. I would never do that in a thousand years. No.

I am checking in the second I get the check-in email. If I'm able to, I have like completely right. And this way we have TSA pre-checked. So it's like just as little communication or direct involvement. with the airport as humanly possible to get me to that gate. Yes. I don't want to talk to a person you don't have to anymore. And isn't that a beautiful way to live our lives?

I mean, yeah, you get all juiced up on your edibles and then you try to not talk to another human being until you land in your destination. Although I have heard tell of like what it was like in the 70s and like 80s where people would literally just be like, let's go party in Vegas tonight. And they're on the other side of the country. And then they would just go to the airport, drunk all right? ready, get their plane ticket, and, like, party on the plane the entire way there with, like, and, you know.

Oh, yeah. That or they used to refer to them. My ex's grandfather was a famous musician. They referred to them as L.A. turnarounds because they would pop these pills that the doctors would give them and they would party all day. And then through the night, they, like, if they're hanging out, if they're partying in Nashville or in Texas, they could drive to L.A., party there. take more L.A. Turnarounds and then you turn around and you party and you go right back.

Right. So that's why they referred to them as L.A. Turnarounds. Because you could just keep going. How they lived through that. I could not have that. Man, got him from the doctor back in the day. Man, you just go to the doctor and go, I need some pep in my step. I'm like, wow, I got a line for you. Take it right up on your nose. And I'm just like, I don't know. I mean, have you ever seen the movie Holiday Inn, M.J. Fred Astaire movie? No, but tell me about it. You know, I love Fred Astaire. I know you love Fred Astaire, Ben, do you love how absolutely sows he used to get on set, apparently, and it's, like, particularly during the 1942 musical comedy holiday inn that he was so drunk, apparently during his drunken dance that he has in the movie that people refer to as a drunken dance, because Astaire had a bourbon before and after each take, and the seventh version of the scene is the one that's used. in the film. I mean, it's like how

people feel like they can speak another language better when they're drinking, you know, which definitely has been true in my experience for myself. I'll bet that he's like, no, no, no, no. Just let me get 14 bourbons in and then I really become the world's best tap dancer.

Oh, then you're going to see me tap. Oh, you want to see me tap? I'd be scared of them. Oh, my God. Now, do you have any what, so when we're talking, where's the Of course, I immediately think about our summer. We refer to it as our summer of sad. And I know that we bring it up a lot.

But the fact that we were drinking hot seven and sevens. And I say that it's hot seven and sevens. Really it was just, I think, a quarter inch of seven up in a hot two-liter bottle that we would fill the rest of the way back up with gin. And then we would call them, you know, we would just take our little gin, gin times. But we were literally sucking it out of two-liter bottles, and we had multiples of these two-liter bottles that we were passing around while we're out on Governor's Island after having done, I believe, the Staten Island ferry that day and did the booze cruise, which is where you would try to drink as many tallie falters Australian for beer beers as you go back and forth on the

Staten Island ferry. Fun drunk thing to do. But then you accidentally, it's a beautiful New York day. you'd eaten some mushrooms and then all of a sudden you meet this goddess and she specifically was wearing all white and a big white hat

and she comes over and she goes oh you go into the polo match and we're all disgusting and hammered we're like there's a polo match and of course our buddy Jared immediately sidles up to this woman and it's like oh hey yeah we're going to a polo match huh yeah can you take us to a polo match

and she goes yeah I want a guy over to the polo match She did not sound like this. She sounded much nicer and more highfalutie, much more like the clone. Oh, so it's going to be taking a boat to the polo match if you'd like to join me. Exactly. It was a lot more like that. And we're all like, oh, yeah, yeah, we want to go. So we go to this, like, VIP section where there's all this, like, free champagne.

And I remember specifically being too nervous to ask any of the people that were handing out champagne for it. So I was just picking up half drunk classes of champagne that had been put on the ground. And we got to watch Prince Harry play polo. He was up on his horse. They were doing their horse things. I don't know what polo is. They're hitting something on a horse. I'd never seen it.

I didn't know anything about it. Have you made your way to the Hamptons somehow? Like what island were you on? This was Governor's Island. And they were having this like special polo match event. And we were so out of sorts because everybody. really was dressed for like, you know, the Kentucky Derby or whatever. They had the big hats and the fancy clothes and we were covered in sweat.

We were disgusting. We were disgusting. We had a two-liter bottle of, yeah, the 7-Up, I believe, or was something. No, no, I think it was gin that day. That's what I was saying. It was 7-up. I remember we poured the gin into the 7-Up bottle because I remember us being like, we're fancy.

It's 7 in 7s. It's not like, it's just not. This is not. You're not drinking 7-7s. You're drinking a hot 7-Up with gin. This woman was amazing. And wasn't she, she was going through a divorce, I think. Like a young, young divorce.

She was looking for a good time. We kind of found, yeah, she kind of found us. And we were like, we're fun time crazy. And what's so funny is we called it super sad Sundays because we were all like going through a breakup. And so we kind of like, I think she maybe could sense that we were in the same like. Guess you needed a hero. Sad desperation.

And we needed a hero. We're also really funny and, you know, I mean, we're ridiculous. And, you know, nobody was like being like an asshole or anything. You know, we were all like good times vibes. We're just trashy people. We're just very much like a Queen's Leopard Print trash that we brought to the polo match. And it was the day that Harry fell off the horse, right? It was.

That the whole thing. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. You've been in the same space as Harry? Yeah. Oh, yeah, man. But I don't, I don't remember. I remember seeing him. Yeah, like I had blinders on. Like, I was a horse. Why, you were the horse. And I, I, because I remember just kind of being out there and just being, uh, just belligerently hammered. And I had no idea what was happening. I definitely barely watched the match. I think I was too busy people watching everyone around me. I felt like a real fear and loathing at the, you know, polo match at Governor's Island. Like, I really did. I felt so completely out of place for what was happening.

We should not have been there. Because I like, you know, I like to torture myself by following, like, rich people on Instagram, rich New Yorkers on Instagram, just to see what they do with their summers. And they go, they, they, they, they polo. Oh, yeah. They go to the Hamptons and they polo. Oh, they're wearing all white. And they're day drinking.

And it's, there's just, it looks like a wedding, pristine white chairs everywhere. Oh, yeah. I just love. Well, that was the craziest part. We should not. And we were all so, like, sunburned. And just, we looked like we had been sleeping under a. doc for at least a couple of weeks and I'm sure we smelled like it. It's one of those things too.

You see and you read all these stories and you think back and you think how often someone looked at you and went like, man, that person's real fucked up. And I think about that a lot because you're like you're never thinking about it when you're that fucked up. Like when you're running like when you're being a menace around town like my bestie, Madeline and I, we both had drunk alter egos. And when our drunk alter egos would come out, you better watch out. Because things are going to get disrupted in some manner. And I'm not proud of myself.

I'm not happy with what I used to do. But, you know, sometimes you got to be a little bit of a trash rat. Yeah. I got to fuck shit up. Well, I also have a Where's the Beach story. But should we hand it over to some listeners before I do mine? You know, I love a good F blast story. and Jackie's got one on deck for us. Jackie, take it away. I certainly do, and this one goes out to Samantha.

Now, Samantha says, Holden asked for stories about getting, quote, finger blasted under a pier. And those five words were like some MK Ultra Code that unlocked a memory I had no intention of ever remembering. So here's that story. Dun done. And they will say Samantha, also hard same. And I'm not going to say that it's, It's a very, very similar story to yours, but I will say the end, very similar. Let's jump in. It's summer 2014 in Seattle at a Mariners game. Now, you might be saying, this isn't a beach story, maybe even asking, where's the beach? You just hold your horsey because this story involves both Pier 57 and Alki Beach. So picture it.

I'm on a date with a bro who likes to drink, and I'm here to prove I ate no bit. Why do you think I identify with Sanana? All right, everybody? Hello, Ed Larson and Amber Nelson from the Brighter Side here to check in with you. See how you're doing. Is your day more disappointing than a gas station sandwich? Are you trying to put one foot in front of the other in a glue factory? Did you try to throw your air fryer in the bathtub, but nothing happened because you were too lazy to plug it in first?

Then the Brighter Side podcast is for you. Oh, yeah! Each week we take no. Nasty, dukey, stupid, dumb. Stinky, no good, do-do factory. Boo. Caca-like topics. And try to find the brighter side.

Hey, Amber, what's the brighter side of waking up chained to a bed in Russia? Um, at least they have free health care. That's right. So start your weekend off right every Friday with the brighter side on the last podcast network. You beautiful babies. So we're tossing them back. getting absolutely smashed at this baseball game. All of a sudden, the game is over, and we have no idea who won or who was even playing,

but we do know we want to keep this party going. So we hail a rickshaw to Pier 57. I'm flying through the city. Reggae music is blasting and drunk as hell in a cart in the back of a bike. We get delivered to the pier and our chariot quickly dashes off. My date then realizes he left his phone in the rickshaw. He's freaking out. It's brand new. He just got it last week. So we run the whole way back to the stadium while asking every rickshaw driver, where's the guy with the reggae music? We finally find him, but he's already given the phone to this guy with the rainbow lights. Another hunt ensues. We find the second guy. He's handed it to Al who works, who parks near the hot dog stand. After acquainting ourselves with the entire Rikshaw community of Seattle, we finally find the guy with the phone. He's very reluctant to give it back and only hands it over after lecturing us about how safety and how, quote, most of these guys wouldn't give the phone back.

But he's such a nice guy, so he's going to give it back. Cringe! We now have the drunk munchies and are desperate to recover this date, so we hail another rickshaw to the pier and find a restaurant. We sat at the bar and took some back-to-back shots because that was stressful, and we deserved a drink, God damn it. As we're sitting there rehashing, whatever the fuck just happened, and how strange. Rickshaw drivers are. We feel the bonds of trauma and adventure bringing us closer together. We start making out right there at the bar in the middle of the restaurant. My date slips a figure through the hole in my ripped shorts. Now in Holden's words, quote, I got finger blasted at the

pier, actually in a crowded and very public restaurant at the pier. Wow. I try to block this part from my memory because how embarrassing. I thought we were being so discreet, but in hindsight, we were so obvious. And Samantha, I need you to know, babe. I've been there. As I was reading your email, I, also, MK Ultra unlocked a memory of me that I specifically, that man, Samantha, I did not remember at all. And then I was like, I remember I was at an Okie Cupid date and it must have been one of those

summer nights where we were like bar hopping and going from bar to bar. And he was just a trashy person. And I remember he started finger blasting me in a public bar. But then my brother showed up to the bar and I'll never forget. Like I remember my whole world because like I used to feel like I was invincible when I was out alone without the murder first boys. Like I could do whatever whenever I wanted. But then I'd see them in the wild and be like, I'm caught. I'm bad. I shouldn't be doing these things and I felt like I had like 10 prowling parents in the city, which thank God I did. And thank you, Samantha, for your story. Love it. You know, but also those stories that you look back and you're just like, oh my God, I want to die. Oh my God. I can't believe

I did that in front of other people. I know other people saw it happen. Right. Finger blasted in a crowded restaurant is a, that's definitely a feather in your cap. It's the classic. Because when you get drunk, you think you're being so suave and so. That's the thing. I was sitting on a bar stool so you think that nobody can see anything. But it's like, everyone can see it. Everyone knows. I've had to ask people to leave a restaurant.

Like I, when I worked at the blue stove, I had to ask someone that was getting jerked off in the blue stove. Wow. The cute little pie shop I worked at, I had to ask them to leave because I was like, I clearly seeing you at the head main table here, jerking this person off and you gotta go. Jesus. Sorry, dude. You guys gotta go. In the middle of the day,

I mean, it had to be the middle of the day, right? It was like, it must have been like a third date because, like, they had just met up there. I think that they were really raring to go. And, like, I would say, like, second or third date. And I was just like, you guys get out of it. Like, go take this somewhere. You must have a place to take this, too.

It's like 5 p.m., go somewhere. MJ, what was your, where's the beach story? No, curiosity's peaks. Yeah, so it's a bit of a Where's the Boy story because it is a New York City story, but it doesn't take place at the beach, but it definitely takes place in the height of summer. I had had, like, great, great luck, you know, catching and making out with securing a boy that I really, really liked. Yes. And I felt very proud. And, of course, from great heights, we can fall great depths.

And that was what was going to happen. Whoa, like the Garden State soundtrack. Yeah, man. And so it was summer 2010. I probably was listening to that song a lot. And I had, you know, I think I had hooked up with this guy a couple of times and I had high hopes. And I was like, we're going to make this happen. We're going to lock it in.

And so there was a rooftop party in Manhattan. And, you know, that's exciting. So I was like, all right, we're at this rooftop party in Manhattan. I was like, this is, I'm going to see him. I hadn't, we hadn't, like, texted, but like we knew we were going to be there. So. Oh, that's so exciting. It was very exciting.

I had very high hopes, and I'm sure that I had been pre-gaming just, like, way too hard. And I wasn't with my brother, so I don't know who I was there with. I might have been alone. That was the first mistake. But so rooftop party, like a house party. And within an hour, police get called, and everybody flees. And so everybody is running down the stairs of this, like, it's like a high-rise building. Everyone's trying to figure out how to get out because the police are there.

and so we all somehow end up in Stuy Town. You guys know Stuy Town, the apartment complex. So it is like a 10 block. Give it a background. Give it a background for people, those that don't know. Stuy Town is like a 10 block long, several block wide housing development built in post World War II. They're the largest one in the country, I believe. Yeah.

So it's like if you picture like the Levitt towns where like World War II veterans were supposed to back and start their families. This was like, so Stuy Town is just, it's like this huge, huge, huge complex of apartments like dropped right in the middle of Manhattan or right up right on the, right by the water actually. But it is like a self-contained community. You're not supposed to go in there if you don't live there. And so it's the middle of the night. It's like, you know, midnight. There's just dozens and dozens of drunk adults like wandering through Stuy Town. Party wasn't even at Stuy Town. How did we end up in Stuy Town? I don't know. This happens. It's kind of like people roe over. and I'm trying to find the boy because I'm like, I'm supposed to make out with this boy tonight. Oh, no. And then we finally found each other and I'm like, this is great. We're about to make out in Stuytown. Like, I don't care what happens. And then one of the little tiny, like European car police vehicles whose job is to patrol Steytown at night,

stumbles upon the dozens of drunk adults wandering around Stuy Town rolls up to us. I panic and I have weed with me, which I panic about. I chuck the weed into the bushes in Stuytown. And we all scatter again and we run away from the tiny, tiny little police vehicle. And then I climb a fence. And long story short, don't remember the rest of the night. Cut to the next morning where I wake up have definitely need a tetanus shot because I have injured myself significantly while climbing a rusty fence. Oh, man.

And then I decided to go back to Stuytown in the light of day to try to find the weed. And I can't remember if I found the weed. That's where the story. The story should end with me finding the weed. And you don't even find the weed? And it also should end with me finding the boy. But the boy and I did, I think, end up hooking up together a few, maybe a few more times after that. But I think that this was a night where I,

My plan to impress did not impress. Didn't work. And throwing one's weed and then running like a maniac through the darkness of a private apartment complex did not secure the man to be my future partner. But we have seen each other recently in adulthood. One time my kid. Did sparks fly and did you go, I can't. I'm married. My kid during the quarantine accidentally called him.

because his name is towards the top of my contact list. No. And I hung up. Yes. And I texted it and I was like, dude, I'm so sorry. No. I was like, that was my kid. Called by accident story.

But then he was like, it was actually very cute. He was like, I have a kid now too. And then we ended up seeing each other like a year later at like a backyard party. Tor at a fair. No, tour in a fair. Just a very nice like I, because it was one of those where you know when things, when you embarrass yourself in front of somebody you like so much and then you feel like you need resolution, you know?

It was like I needed resolution and I got resolution about a decade later. Good for you. Wow, that's great. I think that I would have stopped at like, I want to die. I can't believe I still have this number. But also, I have so many people like random numbers in my phone that's like, think it starts with B and then like question mark and it'll just say that because I was so drunk while putting them into my phone that I didn't really know their name and I just

kind of tried. Oh, I still have OKCupid boys' numbers in my phone. I just don't go through and delete them. I think I still have people. If I look OKCupid in my phone right now, I'm sure I would see like Matt. Okay Cupid, some guy. Okay. Cupid, you know. Very much so. No, they still live in there and that's what scares me so much. It's like, who's going to go through, like I'm not going to go through my contacts and rip them all out. Yeah. Who's got the time? The though. Yeah, you just unbox that. All this skin falls off. It's a night. Yeah, I don't want to know. I don't want to know

what kind of, yeah, Pandora's box that is. What do we want to do next? Another email for a listener. Should we do some Celebrity Where's the Beach? Oh, we can definitely do some Celebrity Where's the Beach? Now, I specifically also pulled some clips because, you know, we bring up the Reese Witherspoon audio often of her getting arrested.

And I went back to rewatch it because I was like, Is it as, it's not as aggressive as I originally remembered it, but I did enjoy it a lot more than I thought I would. And I like how actively drunk she is and what she thinks being an American means. Ma'am, what did I just tell you today? I'd like to know what's going on. He's under rest. I'm a U.S. citizen. I'm allowed to stand on American ground and act.

Any question I want to ask. Go ahead. Come on. You better not arrest me. Yes, ma'am. You're kidding me? No. I told you.

I'm an American citizen. I told you getting that car and stay in there, didn't I? This is beyond. This is beyond. You fight with me. I promise you. This is harassment. You're not.

You're not. I have got nothing against the law. Reese, can we please, for it? Yes, you have. You have to obey your order? Yes, you do. No, sir. I do not.

I do not. I do not. Absolutely. Nothing. Reese. I'm now being... Yep. You know my name, sir?

Don't read another. You don't need to know my name? Not quite yet. Oh, really? Okay. That's fine. I'm not real worried about you, ma'am. I don't told you how things work.

You want to get out and get up in my investigation? That's okay. Yes, sir, I do. Well, guess what? We have enough of that. It's called obstruction. I'm in terms of America. I'm in your justice.

Yep. Go ahead. Sit down. Wow. See your butt first? It'd be a lot easier on you. interesting. Oh, man.

You're about to know my name. You're about to know my name. My favorite is she gets all like, she gets all like proud to be in American. I'm standing on American ground and I can say America. Very, very, very, very, I mean, hey, you know, and the husband too being like, Rees. Please. Can we not do this? And she was drunk driving, so she was doing something actively wrong.

That's the thing. I'm like, I kind of like the genre of celebrity videos yelling at the police because it's like usually they're making a fine point. Like, you should treat me with more respect. But also in this case, she is just so obviously in the wrong that it's, you know, I mean, we love her. But this is a lot. Okay, this is actually a great segue into my Where's the Beat's Story. Hell yeah. Well, it was around the same time.

I don't know if it was the Knob Creek week. I think it was, though. I think it was that exact trip I was describing where we had the bottle of Knop Creek. Could have been a different one. It was the same friend. It was me and my buddy. I guess I'll leave his name out of it. I don't think he'd care.

But anyways, I'm with my buddy. And first of all, you always remember, like, in Charlotte, too, we would wait outside of gas stations and get grown-ass adults to buy us cigarettes, which I would never do in my fucking life. Ever. Never. Ever. Never. So, so, you know, but it would work and, and even crazier, my buddy makes friends with some dirt bag, like, at, like, we would vacation in Sunset Beach, which is like near Myrtle Beach. And I have a second story we might get to later, but about this particular, like, beach house was like a timeshare thing. So we would go there, like, every summer. And as I got older, you know, I'm there with my parents, you know, and my buddy. And. And. It's a small little beach house, like, kind of island.

Like, it's, there's a center of town, there's a pier, a great arcade. I have, like, great memories of this arcade. A real, like, smoke cigarettes inside the arcade arcade, you know, that kind of old school. Back when you could go, it was a kind of game where you'd go to the arcade to play the game, kind of game. Back when arcades were dangerous places for dangerous people to, where the bad kids hung out. You didn't know there was an underbelly of arcades that I had nothing to do. to be like scary. Arcades used to be like bad kid places and I love that. Especially every beach town. Yeah. Every beach town. We used to do the North Carolina beaches and yeah, it's like every beach town just

has its own. It's like it has its townies and it has its own little ecosystem, you know? Yeah. Oh, that's the bar where you go to to get real fucked up. Yeah. Yeah. So, so we're at the pier. We're like at the boardwalk, a pier area, whatever. And my buddy somehow makes friends with some dirt bad guy. and he ends up buying us like a 12 pack of beer. And then we're just two clearly underage kids drinking beer just outside at a very like public and high trafficy pier. Right. I mean, it is insane. And inside the pier there's like like a bar kind of pool table kind of area.

And this guy comes out like dressed in normal clothes. and is like, you know, he reveals himself. He's an undercover cop and he's there to like stop idiots like us. So this is, I've literally never been arrested before. And that's insane because of all the shit I tried to get into at different points. And my, in this time of my life, I'm like blown away. I've never been arrested. And this guy, first of all, as for IDs, I give him the, my brother's ID.

I had been using to purchase cigarette swim. So I give him a false ID. Another crime, by the way. Another big ass crime. And I am like, I don't, and I'm being all suave.

I think this is where I was, reminded me of Reese, right? I think I'm being so like, like, I'm just, I got this under control. It's all good. And then, you know, he's like, I'm a grown adult.

Give me your real ID, you fucking idiot. We end up in the back of the cop car somehow convince this guy to drop us off at my parents, at the beach house where my parents are sleeping

in the middle of the night and we're supposed to like have them call him the next day and we end up I remember because I remember my buddy was in a lot more trouble he'd already been in a lot of trouble

with his parents with this kind of thing so he was like I am fucked like I'm going to military school if we don't fix this so I had to call the cop the next day and plead him to let us off the hook. And I cannot believe he did.

And I'm blown away by the whole thing. It doesn't make any sense to me. I should have been, because he should have dropped us, he should have taken us to my parents. He should have taken us to fucking juvie. Yes. Yeah, right.

The precinct. Or at the very least, taking us to the house. I can't believe you've been trusted that this was our house, you know, that we were staying at. But like, it was crazy. I don't understand how well he didn't.

wake my parents up or when we got there or did anything. Those vacation towns, though, I feel like don't you think that, I mean, obviously, first and foremost, you know, there's a lot of... Privilege. Yeah. Very interesting. Yeah. Big time.

I think a lot of that underlying this, especially in talking about the celebrities and things like that. Yeah, me running from the NYPD in Stuy Town, not a good idea. No, we were able to get away with a lot more than a lot of... All of these stories. To get away with. A hundred percent. But I think that, I don't know, it's, I love this story because I think that some of those beach downs that are just like, this is what people come here.

And they know their kids are going to be out drinking. And they don't want their vacation to be ruined by having to get to the precinct. I don't know. I mean, that's just my, but there's always like the kind of cops that arrested Justin Timberlake. There's always like the Sag Harbor Nazi. There's always like the young books that want to come in and be like, no, I'm going to hold them to justice. And before they realized. Yeah. This was an older guy.

I bet you're right. I bet he felt bad for my parents. Yes. And just didn't. And he wanted to scare you. You know, and he did. We were having a complete breakdown over that.

I think I cried when I called him on the phone. I think I cried. I mean, we were clearly like not because it really was. I was like a pretty, you know, I did bad kid stuff, but I was like a pretty, you know,

I knew how to kind of keep it in between the lines. Like I wasn't like, you know, running away from home and like try and, you know, crazy experimenting with crazy. with crazy drugs or anything. I was just trying to have some beers on the pier

like a complete idiot. I just felt so stupid looking back on it. Like how many dumb moves. And I lost my cigarettes ID. Your brother is really sad. Oh, that's the worst. That ID was my fucking easy ride, man. I was buying cigarettes left and right

with that damn thing. But anyway. Although it is always my favorite after nights like that when you guys get together the next day to talk about when, everyone goes on their own journeys. And then the next day, you're all like, what happened? And then you try to piece together the night.

And I imagine that's exactly what happened to Moose and Moose's friends. I want to thank you, Moose, for writing in. Moose says, my name is Moose. How could you not start it with that? With a name like Moose? First time emailer. My story checks both of the boxes from last week, hot dogs and drunken regret. Myself and a group of seven friends were around 16 years old at the time.

And like most 16-year-olds, we were ready to experiment with the exciting and forbidden world of alcohol. My friend's parents were gone, and his brother picked us up the cheapest, most gasoline-like vodka he could find. Pop-off, it gives me shudders. Moose, same. And we used to sing, pop-off, pop-off, this is the sound of vomiting. Pop-off, pop-off, and we would sing it as we would drink the hot pop-off out of the plastic bottles. So I'm there with you, Moose. Moose says we all sat around the campfire with a few packs of coagull hot dogs. And yes, Moose, I did look up how to say cogal hot dogs because you describe them as the best hot dogs and now I want to try them.

Confident in the fun night to come. Here is where we made our mistake, as many do their first time drinking. We each dumped out half of our 28-ounce Gatorade and filled them back up to the top with this despicable vodka, which is exactly what we did in our 20s when we met that angel. What ensued after finishing those bottles was eight hours of pure chaos. Two of our seven friends wandered into the nearby woods looking for Totoro. They were found the next morning covered in bug bites and passed out 15 feet into the woods. Oh my God.

No Totero in sight. Two more friends blacked out around the fire and had to be dragged inside. A fifth friend kept drunkenly plopping down in those green molded plastic chairs with the grace of a plastered 16-year-old, shattering three different chairs and requiring stitches up half their body. Our sixth friend walked to visit their ex-girlfriend who happened to live in the same neighborhood. Then they returned in tears after getting rejected and told that this type of thing is exactly when they broke up in the first place. See, that's the friend. I'm always the one guy. Let me go talk to him. Let me go find an ex to talk to. I can change them. That left only myself, Moose. I sat around enjoying the chaos and eating Kogel hot dog.

near the fire. I thought I was handling things much better than my peers. Fifteen hot dogs and five hours later, I was army crawling to the bathroom inside, the world spinning around me like I had never experienced. My friend's older brother was inside offering no help whatsoever during this entire experience. As I army crawled to the bathroom, I opened the door to my friend's brother sitting on the toilet, unleashing a different kind of bowel hell. I had no choice, but to release the built-up cogal demon from inside me right on the ground in front of my friend's

shitting brother. This led to both of us throwing up in the bathroom from the mixing stenches. The brother was shitting. And then you start puking and then there start puking. A drunkenly cleaned it up, bowed as if I won an Oscar, and went to sleep. We all convened in the morning to describe our nights, each more horrifying than the last.

We're all still friends to this day, and each of us has never touched Popov again. I've never touched another Kogel hot dog since then, my favorite hot dog brand of all time. Thanks for reading. Hopefully the story brought you all some laughs to repay for all the laughs. You've given my fiancee and I over the years. Much luck to you, Moose.

Love this story. That is such a great, man, when everybody goes, they're different ways. You're all just like, you alive? You alive? What did you do? Yeah. How did that go?

That was their first time drinking? Yeah, that reminds me of my first time getting like active. It was fun. It's so funny too. It was almost like when people plan to like lose their virginity. It was really like we were all like made a decision. Like we're all going to get like black out at my buddy's place. His mom was out of town.

It was the summer. And it went about like that. Different people. There was one person who like who puked and pissed and shit themselves. There was one person who, two people who decided to slide around in the grass and there were sprinklers embedded in the grass. And so they sliced their feet and legs up. Oh, my God. Oh, that's the worst.

I took my first hit of weed out of an empty bullet shell in the hot tub that night. Hell yeah. You know, it was. That sounds like my first drunk night where I puked red wine in the pool of my friend's house while his parents were out of town. All puked. I mean, we went, we went for it. Red wine in the pool. Because it was, I remember it was Ice House.

Ooh. It was like Ice House and like vodka, which is so crazy with Ice House because I think at the time, they just advertised so well. Ice House is like literally the nastiest. I would rather drink Natty Light. Yeah. It tastes like skunky normal beer is what Ice House tastes. It's so gross and bad.

But I just, the advertising campaign worked for children. So we ended up getting it. But yeah, there was that. There was a different night in college, right? Did it end up puking in the same toilet. My friend was pissing in at the time. And we had a good laugh about that one. You got to get it out.

You know, you really, sometimes you just got to get it out. How many, like, as you're saying it, I feel like it's like a, you know, like a, this used to be my playground of all the different horrible places I've puked in my life as it just like goes through my brain of sometimes you just. got to get it out of you and you can't stop it from happening. All right, now I'm starting to feel bad. I have a good, a member of just kidding me when thinking about the rooftop and the throwing, the story I told earlier about being on a rooftop and throwing weed and not getting the boy,

I'm realizing that I always, the story that Gideon and I tell about how we fell in love was through a trial that was happening, which is true. But the reason I knew him when that trial started was because in May, Memorial Day weekend, the launch of unofficial summer in New York City, I was out. at a rooftop party and met him and the cops came. And once again, I threw my weed off the roof. Man, you're mad. Taking care of yourself.

I never would have done that. I was like, no, weeds are not going anywhere. I'll hide it my fucking dick. I'll put it in my pussy. I don't do it anywhere. I'll do anything. It was always my first instinct to throw the weed. And then he and I didn't end up smooching that night or even like,

but it was like, it was literally just the night we met. And I was like, ooh, I kind of like him. but we ended up talking later after the cops left because, of course, he was a lawyer who talked to the cops, got them to leave. And then afterwards, I was like, man, I really reacted pretty impulsively and I threw my weed off the roof. And that was like one of the first things we like talked about and connected over. How turned on, though, were you when he talked to the cops to get them to go away? How were you like, look at him. What he knows exactly what to do?

He knows that to take care of us. Oh, my God. You know, two very different parties, many years, part, but the same completely destruct, self-destructive instincts on my part, but ended up getting the boy in the long run. So, you know, there's always hope. There's always hope. And, you know, Summer Love is a big part of Where's the Beach stories. Now, I had pulled multiple quotes because there are multiple clips from drunk celebrities during interviews. One of them I was actually very surprised by and it really made me think of all of us when we talk about like every friend

group there's that night when like you know holden i talk about it often of the night that i was like hey holden should we bang each other and he looks at me and goes no and i'm like okay great and that was many many years ago but i feel like you always got to throw it out there now watching the cast of cheers now this is after the end of cheers so what j leno did is he had a whole night. It was called Cheers Last Call where was a big drunken party that Jay Leno kind of just hosted his way through

as everybody's getting hammered. So this is talking to the entire cast of Cheers hammered off their ask. And this specific clip is when Jay Leno asks, so did you guys ever have any crushes on each other? Here's another one from the audience. Has anyone on the show have had a crush on another cast member?

Every... All of us. All of us. Oh, baby. Oh. We've all had a crush on me. No, property.

It would seem to be awful one-sided. Ask, no, no, no. Ask George and Ria about Seattle. George, about Seattle? All right, tell us about Seattle. Well, it was, you know, it was a torrid affair. I mean, it just happened in Seattle. Now, why Seattle?

It was magic. Talk about it. All right, damn it. Talk about it. Can I get you all another dream? It's just so cute. They're so cute. They're so, and I just love to like, yeah, tell him, come on, tell.

Could you imagine they must have all had a crush on Ria Pearlman, obviously. How could you not? And I love her just being like, it's fun being the only girl. I know, yes. Dude, yeah. And they're so visibly drunk, too. So drunk. I love it.

Good time. Good time. Ted Danson, like, casually had wrapping his art. around her, man, that's sexy. I would do anything for Ted Danson. And maybe again, this is just because I'm going through a rewatch of cheers right now. Yeah, you got the dance pants. Oh, I've got the dance pants on. Oh, I forget how much I am in love with Ted Danson. And yes, I've watched the good place. And yes, I'm into him. I need him. Sorry, we're not here to talk about Ted Danson. I was just thinking about like, you know, when it comes to the idea of where's the beach and how

many of my craziest Okay Cupid stories. I feel like it always happened in the dead of summer. Yes. I always feel like there was such an essence. And I know that we talk about this, but I do think people kind of lose their mind when it's too hot outside. Like, I think you just make weirder decisions. Is it barometric pressure? Like, I don't know what the summer does that makes you just make. Yeah. The talk days. Yeah. I think it feels like you're living within a, You're living in like a highlight reel. It's like there's a story within a story in summer because there's just something about it being summer

that automatically makes it a more interesting setting. And like, you know, it's an era, right? Like the rest of the year doesn't always feel like you're in eras, right? But I feel like everyone, no matter, even if you're working full time, it's like summer is an era because you can't sleep because it's too hot. You don't have AC when you're young. And you're, you know, going out every night. And so I feel like all of the good stories are from summer,

because it's just like subconsciously or consciously, everybody just launches themselves into like main character energy, you know, and you start making really big, bad choices. Yeah, different trip, same beach house.

This time, it's me and my two buddies and no parents. This was senior year. And it was this, I think it was, it might have been spring break, not summer. No,

I think it was, either way, we go to that beach house for a week. And it's like I said, really close to Myrtle Beach. all like pretty much all the other kids in my high school. I graduated with a pretty small class or at least a big whole bunch of them, including the jocks,

the like all these different, all these different people decided to go in on a like horrible, they were like shacks. It was like they were camping at the beach. They were like in crappy cabins that they found. I remember the person who organized it. The one thing we knew about her was that she stole. And she was the one who found these terrible.

place. So we're in like a really nice beach house, me and my two friends, and we stocked up the place with like food and had all this booze and weed. And we like had this. We were cushy. We had this really great situation. We were just there to like drink and smoke and hang out just the three of us. Well, wouldn't you know it? I think what happened was a couple. I made the mistake of inviting a couple of the kids who I liked from that huge group over to hang out for like an afternoon and smoke weed with us. and they were like, oh, this place is the shit. Oh, we're staying in a horrible place where we're staying sucks. And then literally, like, they don't even think they told me.

And the very next night, like, the cavalry shows up. All these fucking kids show up in cars, like, fill, like, lining up the streets. And all of a sudden, I am throwing a high school party at this beach house. I was having a fucking mental breakdown. Luckily, I, because the thing I knew, the golden rule that I had learned from going to other people's parties. It's just like the bitch and can't hardly wait. It's like, no, please.

No, no, no, no. Montages are going through my mind right now. The number one rule was I cannot get hammered. If I get hammered, then God knows what's going to happen. So I just say, fuck it. I'm just going to smoke weed tonight and not even that much of it until everybody leaves. And luckily, nothing got totally fucked. But I mean, I was about to lose my mind.

This is a timeshare beach house. It's a very, like, nice place. You know what I mean? It was very prescient of you to make that choice. I don't know if I would have been that smart, but maybe the fear of your parents. I was not happy. I was not, like, excited that all these kids showed up.

I did not feel like, I think it's when you feel like you're the cool kid who's hosting the party and you're trying to, like, be all cool. Then, no, I was like, get these fuckers out of my fucking house as soon as possible. This is a nightmare. Yeah, it was crazy. And there's just certain things. I feel like, well, as you're doing it, like, as it ramps up, you feel like, oh, this is a cool idea. This is a great idea. This is a cool idea. Then all of a sudden you're like,

what am I doing? Especially as you look back. Now, this letter comes in from M. Now, M had a bit of summer loving to themselves. And I feel like this is the kind of thing that, oh, I would have found myself in. And I completely understand looking back and being like, what did I do in the summer? It's the summer of 2014. I just finished my first year of college and was returning home for a fun summer with all of my friends from home. I was so young, hot, and horned up. I had met a guy away at school, Stephen. Imagine a young Channing Tatum.

Not even kidding, that's what my friends and I called him. Stephen lived a few towns over from me, and all summer long, between nights of blacking out and working at the local amusement park, we would text each other to meet up in the abandoned park to have sex in one of our cars. Or if we were feeling really crazy, in the woods behind the park.

This is even crazier because there were multiple confirmed black bear sightings in the area. So we were just shaking our naked butts around. Meanwhile, I was back in touch with my boyfriend, Austin, from my senior year of high school. We were also banging on the regular in my Jeep. It gets wilder when you throw into the mix that I was also having sex with his best friend

a few times a week without him knowing. I don't, and then in parentheses, I don't feel bad about this. They were both terrible people. I took his best friend's virginity the week I got home from college and he bought me a strawberry banana smoothie from McDonald's afterwards. Also, in quote, Asia, I felt a little bit like a whore for McDonald's, but sex work is valid work, so I'm not ashamed. Eventually, they both find out I'm sleeping with the other and they get into this huge argument. They got over it and they're still besties to this. day, I finish off the summer with a huge tattoo on my back that almost sent my dad to the

emergency room from the shock of it. And M, you did not share what the huge tattoo is of on your back. Phoenix. But I'm so, I hope it's a Phoenix. It makes me think of the time that Henry talked me out of getting the full back tattoo because I was going to have Namaste tattooed fully down my spine. And Henry stopped me because he. He did say, even back then, I don't think that's something for you to have tattooed on your body.

But at this point, man, I was doing mushrooms every day. And I was like, man, I am the universe and my soul recognizes your soul. But I'm very glad I didn't do it. But I am very curious about that huge back tattoo. So please let us know what it is. Wow. Man, what a summer. I don't think there was even in my wildest heydays.

I don't think I ever unlocked the level of three different, like, regular weekly fucks, like, throughout a whole summer. That's fantastic. That's impressive. While working at the amusement park, dude, I want this movie and I want to live inside of this movie. It's an extremely teen movie. Oh, that's great. And I always wanted, did you ever have one of those summer jobs? Like, do you ever have a quintessential summer?

Because, like, I remember I would be so, so envious of my friends that worked at Celebration Station over the summer. because then they would all smoke weed behind the celebration station, and then they would, like, work their whatever jobs. But I was too busy working at Joanne Fabrics, where I was by far the youngest person, and I had to do all the difficult things because I was by far the youngest person that worked at the Joanne Fabrics. I mean, my summer job was Blockbuster. I've talked about it a lot, including the getting shot at gunpoint. Where's the beach?

Getting shot at. I didn't actually get shot. But anyways, and then I went to Disney World the next day and got extremely high for three days of Disney World. But yeah, Celebration Station, we had one too, and you just brought back some major good memories of Celebration Station. I loved that place. They had the bumper boats. Oh, yeah. And they had the Go-Carts.

And the Go-Carts and a giant arcade. That place ruled. And shout-outs to Celebration Station. I wanted that job so bad. But it was always run by, like, the super cool. Like I wanted to be there. But also, I couldn't have hung with them, you know? Shoutouts to, by the way, Adventureland.

If you want that feeling in a movie, Adventureland is one of my favorite summer movies. It's so good. And it's totally about working in one of those, like, janky amusement parks over the summer. And they just nail the vibe. They like just, I don't know. It's just such a good summer movie. I have really fond memories of just watching that movie in the air conditioning after, like, a really hot day in the sun. Also great doc, though, too, action park.

Yes. Yeah, I want to do action park. Yeah, well, and action park, which is, it's a great doc that is, man, talk about a quintessential summer job where those kids just would die. Yes. My best summer job was very classic summer job. I was a balloon salesman on roller skates. Wait a second.

What? It took until this episode to find out a balloon salesman on roller skates. A classic M.J. reveal this. What? on roller skates in the Twin Cities. And there was a St. Paul balloon guy and a Minneapolis balloon guy. And they hated each other, but they worked every event together. Enemy balloon men.

Enemy balloon men who worked every event together. And then the Minneapolis guy would smoke us up. I got my two best friends jobs also. And Minneapolis guy would smoke us up in the balloon van, surrounded by balloons. And then we would go out and work for the St. Paul guy who was screaming at us and also on roller skates. And yeah, there was no hooking up, but it was a great, great summer job. And we would do all the summertime events in the Twin Cities.

And then it would always culminate in the fall with them doing the balloons for my college, like back to school events. And so, yeah, it launched me back into the school year. High as a kite surrounded by Mylar balloons. I say you take this job back, MJ. I think you create your own balloonman profession in New York. You start hitting all. Every time you take the kids to the playground, maybe, yeah, you're the creepy parent that's there on the roller skates

trying to get the kids to buy balloons from you, but I think it might be a good good. Yeah, man, when you are holding a bunch of balloons and you're on roller skates and the wind blows, they act as a sail and you can just coast. That, to me, sounds actually terrifying, but I imagine to many people, they would really enjoy that. It was awesome. That sounds very, very scary. I'm very, very scared of that.

And I feel like that we need to like come back to this. Yeah, we could have done two of these. Because like we didn't even get into the world. Like I lost myself in reading through just like the different amounts of insane stories, just specifically from Elton John's parties. Like Elton John has had so many insane parties that it's like canon that if you go to an Elton John party, like something real insane is going to happen. And sometimes it's like back in the day,

like Elton John's grandmother would also be there partying with everybody. So, man, it was a family affair. So we're going to have to come back to talk about some of these things because we've got a lot more, you know, oh, Mariah Carey drunk at the, I think, T-Words. And there's just lots of celebrities out there thinking that they can get away with being drunk when you're so used to listening to them,

and seeing them when they're not, that you're like, we can tell. Finally, I continually say celebrities, they truly are just like us. I feel like I've never felt it more than these stories that we've... And listeners are just like us, too. There's so many more emails that we're not going to get to, but you guys, thank you for writing in.

We read all of them. We died laughing. We absolutely love them. Love them. Thank you all so much for writing in and helping us relive our youth. Hell yeah, should we hit some quick plugs before we get out of here? Yeah, let's plug her up. Maybe my name is Jackie Zabrowski.

You can come hang out with me over on my Instagram at Jack That Worm. You can come hang out with MJ and I when we play the Sims on Wednesdays, the Sims of our lives. Twitch.tv. forward slash, oh, no, it's Jackie. Holden. Twitch. Twitch.tv. forward slash Holdenators ho.

Every Friday, Jackie and I party and Wonder Where the Beach is. It's 6 p.m. EST. Twitch.TV forward slash holdenators ho. But also Patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast weekly bonus episodes for just five bucks a month as well on top of Jackie's book club where she's read so much, so many books. There's such a back catalog. It's insane. And then at the $10 layer, A, we got Buffy. The Buffy watch along is we're crushing through season two and really enjoying it. So get on there as well. Tons of backlog at this point for that as well. Patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast and page of a podcast at gmail.com.

Please sit in your celebrity conspiracies and the like. Thank you so much. MJ. My name is MJ and I'm MJ KL Kat on Instagram. Hope you guys are enjoying the end of your summer. Don't worry. I think it will be hot for much longer so I don't think it's going anywhere. Love you so much and we'll be back next week.

Bye everybody. Bye, everyone. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.