Page 7 - You Just Got Cursed! w/ Holden McNeely AND Mike Lawrence

Episode Date: May 28, 2026

This week on Page Nerd of Mouth we got SOME BOYS CRASHIN' the slumba party with Holden McNeely standin' in for MJ while they're dealin' with family things (Send them ya well wishes!) and special nerdy guest Mike Lawrence, and sadly this means we got SWIFT NEWS! She was at a basketball game. with gum. That's all! Then we got us a fully hydratin' BONUS MICRO JACKIE'S SNACKIES @ 11:52 til 17:46 courtesy of a listener! After last week's episode Adam revealed even more of the dark history of Fastball's song to Jackie, which got Holden rememberin' a reddit thread of music videos where the person was CLEARLY too fucked up in it. The Colbert Show has come to an end, but no worries as Byron Allen bought up the timeslot and the comics have been unleashed, baby. There's gonna be a "90 Day Fiancé" Con...what. Khloe Kardashian let everyone know her son's SUCH a Leo, 'cause he threw a temper tantrum and sarted destroying the place at a friend's kid's graduation party, it was SO funny. Then we got us a list of celebrities talkin' 'bout their DISNEY CRUUUUUUUSHHHHEESSSS!!! Next, Holden swoops in to save the day with one specific BLIND, and we got us an xxxtra cheesy Jackie's Snackies starting @ 1:11:28.787 until 1:14:37.979, PLUS SO MUCH MOOOOOORE!!!! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

get this cacophony a ripping and a rollin. I just wanted to remind you both that your father's. So I thought that I would just start with, it's not time to make a change. Just relax. Take it easy. You're still young. Not true. That's your fault. Yeah, we had child. There's so much you have to know. Find a girl. Settle down. If you want, you can marry. Look at me. I am always. I think you give me permission of Mary Katz Stevens. Yeah, you can't, but I'm bumping it up. How can I try to explain? Are you crying?

When it do, it turns away again. It's always been the same simple story. It's all upsetting when he shows emotion, Jackie. It's all the moment I could talk. It bums me out when he shows emotion. I was all to listen. Now there's a way. And I know that I have to go away.

I know I have to go. Yes, Mike? I love my son, but not as much as I love Allah. I will leave him and become a hardcore Muslim. Thank you, Kat Stevens. Take it away, baby. You mean yourself, Islam. Thank you.

Thank you so much for reminding me of his true name, and I appreciate that Mike Lawrence. Welcome to page seven. Thank you. And of course, why am I starting this off with a, caveat. It's because Holden McNeely is subbing in and I'm going to say this Holden you're subbing in

for MJ today. That's right. Oh, I have concern that we just have a major jack off. You didn't know that's what MJ is good for. I have concerns. There you go. Oh, I'm concerned. You are concerned and that's why every time you give them something. They're in the hospital with their husband. Let's not do a goofy act out of we are genuinely concerned

I have no feeling why am I not the autistic person? I have no feeling whatsoever towards the situation You have absolutely no feelings That should be the name of your show Why am I not the autistic person? I'm out of the spectrum too

I can't believe I'm not I want to teach the children No no no it is Unfortunately if you are a Patreon member You did see on our Patreon There was no wisterialaniacs this week Because unfortunately and I did I did you know

Share this with MJ I was like what can I share on the episode. And what they said I was allowed to share was that their husband has been in the ER for three days on a gurney in a hallway in immense pain. I feel like that's so troubling the way you said that you said that like they were Kat Stevens. There's in an ER on a gurney in a hallway in the immense pain. We're definitely our hearts are definitely going out to MJ right now and Jackie, I just want to say your show. You know it's bad when you see the go find me.

Oh, God. And I just want to say to you and all the listeners, you're welcome for me filling in for M.J. Last minute. I feel like I'm doing a big fucking solid for you guys. You are. You're doing a really huge solid for all of us. Everyone, every time they hear MJ, they're like, I can't believe MJ's not Holden.

And I figured this would be a really good episode to remind everyone how similar are you. guys are. Gizzy Wizzy. Yep. And then you know M.J would usually say jizzy whizzy at the top of a show. Because they know how to get the pizzazz of pizzazz. And so I, you know what? Jizz in a spray can call it cheese jizz.

If you're wondering if I meditated this morning, I did. Yeah. I prepared myself for this because Mike, I went to Adam, our producer, and I said, is it a good idea to have Holden and Mike on at the same time? And we both shuddered. And it had nothing to do with you, Mike. Right. It had nothing to do with you.

It is all Holden. And I do want to say that I appreciate Holden for you being the MJ today. And we did really need you. So thank you for doing solid for us. Yeah, but we both make a living ignoring his existence. Mike, that's why we have the most in common than anyone on this network. That people are like, how do you sit next to him? Everyone pay attention to me.

I'm struggling. I am having difficulties getting through. Everyone's like, ooh. He already made his jizz joking. The first five minutes now he has nothing. Call it cheese jizz. Yeah, he said the word jizz and now it's his word of the dying cheese. I'm going to be right for a filibuster about Taylor Swift 20 minutes in.

Oh, yeah, she's at the basketball game this week. I was so, I'm going to say it, Mike, I was annoyed that I was asking him to do this episode because there was a bit of Taylor Swift news this week. And the news was at a basketball game. She handed the gum, and she handed the gum. Do you know how humbling it has to be for her to be in an arena and not a stadium? Yeah. Oh, my God. She's just like, uh, not that many people in here.

There's so few people in here. And I just, there was. You can look at every what it wants. Yeah. It's like I can see their faces. Yeah, yeah. But in at the game, oh my God. The tiny seats.

She was in a tiny seat and she gave him a piece of gum and people lost their minds. He drank the beer and everyone cheered. He does know how to put on a fun, a fun eventabouts. You know what he mean? It's just that you can see her sitting there. And I feel like we've all had a partner, a time in our lives where you look at them and you're just like, I don't know what they're doing now, but look at him. I mean, it's really just people in their 40s watching people in their 30s acting like we're 10.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's just. It's really sad. watching him, he did, you know, he shot gunned a beer and everyone was just like, yeah, he's just like, oh, I'm a ball, man. And everyone's like, yeah, they're getting married. And that's, but that was the whole story. And there were a million headlines about it because she also wore wide pants.

Yes. And the internet couldn't believe it. Her look was great. Her look was great. I just think, you know, she's out there. She's, she's having fun. And who knows? Is this her basketball era?

Mike? A look of disappointment on Mike's face. I wish everyone could have seen it. I don't need to hang out with my dad. I've got Mike. Yes, there you go. Yeah, to be disappointed in you. Yeah, we both don't acknowledge you.

Your father is disappointed from across the country. All you need to do, Mike, is pick up backgammon and you are essentially my father. Is that what's next for you, Mike? Is that what's next on the plane? Is it backgammon era? Yeah. Is it time for backgammon? What are they called a pit?

Are they Pips? What do you think she'll smell like when she gets married? I think that she's going to smell like depression because she's going to look down the aisle at this dude shotgun in a beer. I imagine he's going to shotgun the beer walking down the aisle. Here's that thing, Holden. Why do you look so shocked, Holden? How dare you? Our ladies and her kitties hung out yesterday.

Yes. And I didn't go. And you know, and you not being there was, was, was, yeah. Well, that's why I didn't have to go. great. And then it's going. When you get that

Mike's going. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Then you better figure out. There will be a penis.

What was amazing, though, was that I didn't go. And Edina ended up really hurting her knee. Oh, no. What happened? It's the curse of the show being a co-host, I guess. Whoa. Oh, you just got cursed and you just got cursed.

Sorry, Lexie. Well, she's a most. won't it. Well, every day, look at who she's married to. Oh, please, okay? I put water in her cup. Mine didn't feel subtle until you made yours away me. Oh, yeah, yeah.

It's the beauty, Mike, you see, think of who this is us together. Honestly, when I first thought of you both have coming on, I was like, this is great, I'll be angry Jake. Right. And now this is just my angry Jake episode. Oh, you haven't seen Jake mad? I saw him yell at a leaf the other day.

What did the leaf do? Wilted. Oh, of course he would yell. What happened? It turned over and he was jealous of it. Oh, no. It's because it was changing colors. And that's fun and that's nice.

But what happened with the kids? What happened with the Dina? So she got hurt and I was like, I'm glad I stayed in and didn't do physical activity. Yeah. Good for you. But then it was crazy was we were watching the pit later, which was our show. now. It is the perfect like end of day,

you know, the kids asleep. Is it the perfect? It's so stressful. You're like, well, I'm going to just go take a shift in the hospital for an hour. Oh, yeah, yeah. Remember how much harder life can be. Here's what is amazing about it. You can engage or disengage from it as much as you want. You still feel like you're watching. Yep. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It'll still be involved. Honestly, poor MJ, I did immediately say, I was like, you should ask for Dr. Robbie and the ER.

And they did say, I don't think that they're into pit references in the ER. Oh, I was like, oh, day three, that's not when you want to start making your baby Jane Doe jokes when you're, it's like, where's Dana, right, guys? Where's the autistic girl with glasses? Come on, Dr. Jane. It is so chaotic, honestly. I mean,

I stated in the ER for the better part of like 24 plus hours, something like that. I forget. I was insane. And just the amount of like fucked up crazy people. There was a guy that was like this big kind of jack guy that was like hammered and he was just like multiple like doctors

were trying to hold him down. He was just like that was just like one thing. Well, the little about the pit is it's in real time like a 15 hour ER shift. Hour by hour. But yeah, but they make sure that there's at least one social message patient per

per hour. Oh yeah, they really they meter them out. I think it's good to not have them all in one hour. We need to get some ice for this man who works for eyes. Whoa. I don't want to help him. I have conflicting feelings. What they should just do is they just have Kenan Ivory Waynes as a patient.

And he just goes, message. Now, I don't mean to switch it up from our ER pit conversations. But I did kind of want to bring in Jackie Snackies a little early today. We will have a snackie later on. But this is something, this is more of, I've, Since I'm being angry Jake today, when Jake is usually on the show, Jake's never that angry. Is he, why?

He's so sweet when he's on page seven. No, he's so sweet when he's on there in a mouth. I mean, he's the sweet. He's the heart of the show. Yeah. Whoa. There is, there is like Andy Richter? An anger, more like Andy Rooney.

But there is an anger like seething, but he never shows it. Right, right. He's the one, you know, it's like, you know, I come from roasting. I can make, you know, making fun of whole. into victimless crime. Yeah. Yeah. I'm still feeling bad about that leaf joke and it wasn't that bad.

Yeah. No, yeah. It's because he's just, he is. He's just such a sweetheart. I felt bad about my leaf jokes. It made no sense and it was just completely a whiff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We remember that.

We remember that screw up that you had. My penis splits open like a banana. Wow. It's like the Pain Olympics. God, we wish you would start in the Pain Olympics. We all would still be watching it to this day. But I wanted to give a shout out to Emily B. who sent in a Jackie Snackies, and you can send in your own 4804 Laurel Canyon Boulevard

number 378 Valley Village, California, 9-1607. Now, what I love about this. Oh, can they send you free? Yeah, of course, of things for me to try or else I wouldn't have known about this, Holden, which is, I love this. Emily said at first, I just like that you have the, you have the, like, confidence to believe that none of it. of your fans would stock you. Yeah, I mean, well, it's a P-O-box, so it's not, yeah. They could go to the P-O-O-box. They could go to the B-O-Box and find me with the P-O-B

and just wait for me to come by. With a comb that's actually a knife. Oh, my God, but it has some of my hair in it. Or a knife that's actually a comb. That's even a knife that's actually a comb. And then they just brush my hair, brush my hair, and brush my hair until I die. But this Emily B thought that this was,

an April Fool's joke. And I love their like, I thought this was an April Fool joke. And then I put it in the cart online. And I was like, this has got to be an April Fool's joke. And then they purchased it. And then they received it. And they're like, I can't believe this isn't an April Fool's joke. And that is Liquid Ivy's collab with Grillo's pickles.

It's supposed to rejuvenate you. And it is, I guess. And this is now, Holden. Because Liquid Ivy, that's for hangovers. And not as soon. Pickles are like a massive trigger food for me. Oh, okay. then you are not a part of this.

That's great because I didn't want to hurt you. Wait, you didn't be in the room with an open pickle. It's pretty rough, but I'll handle it because the liquid ibis smell will probably be okay. Yes, it'll be in the water. It will be in the water. And I didn't realize this and I'm sorry, Mike, because honestly, I wasn't trying to hurt you. I'm trying to hurt Holden. You know I'm trying to hurt Holden.

And I am going to put this whole container because for some reason in our studio, we're only allowed the eight fluid ounces bottles. of water. Oh, it's the powder. It's not even a real pickle. No, it's not a pickle. Okay, so you don't have to see a pickle. No. Oh, the seeing the, it's this, once the smell is in my head, I can't get it out.

How did you get through Brooklyn with all those pickleback shots flying around all the time? You weren't drinking them. I know, but still, you know, he was around it. So this is really made for a larger bottled water. I'm so pissed I didn't drink last night. Oh, this would be the one day. The one day you're not

hung over? Exactly. I assumed you would be on over. No, not at all. I wanted to be fresh as a petunia for you, Jackie. Oh! All right, so I'm supposed to down this whole thing? Yeah, well, you don't have to down it, but just get to Picklin. How prickly is it? It's pretty bickly.

I'm sorry, I'm just, now I'm just obsessed with Mike's utter disgusting. Undered disgusting. Honestly, I, do you know what, Mike, thank you for acting like this. Because if I had done this to Holden, you realize it would be the rest of the episode. was how I defiled him, what I did to him, how I wronged him. But I wanted to say thank you, Emily, because I also thought that this was an April Fool's joke. And I am surprised that it's not.

I have humble autism. Like, I don't think anything's about me. Right. Oh, okay, that's good. Yeah, the opposite of the song. Oh, so what do you have, Holden? I think that, you know what I mean? More people should be talking about me.

I love this energy. That not enough people are talking about me. And not enough people. So are, do you think, bad things? I don't care. Is it giving cucumber water or is it giving pickle water? It's giving cucumber water or pickle water for sure. But it's definitely like not like full on pickle juice.

You know what I mean? But I guess I'm like salivating in the similar way that I would. You know what I mean? You know what it is too though? I'm not, I, I, I, we used to down picklebacks like it was water. Yeah, I love the picklebacks. It is giving, it's giving dill cucumber though. I will throw it out there.

It's not giving. Pickles given to a good question. Mike, are you catching a whiff of the pickle? I'm trying not to. Okay. He's actively not. I just want to know how loud this is for other people who are trying. I don't think I made very clear. I made sure not to plume it anywhere. It's more it's more asking for the general public like, hey, if you bust this out like how pickly is it? Yeah, how much is it in the room? Are you communicating its bouquet? Adams all the way across the room and he's saying he's not spelled nothing. It's got a whiff. It's all right. It's okay. All right. I'm good. I'm good. I'm

We're moving through it. This is good guys. Mike is removing his clothing for some reason. And we're fine with it. Honestly, get more comfortable, Mike. Whatever you need here. All right?

We're here to lift you up. One of these bad boys after a Friday stream and I'll give it the litmus test. Okay. Yes. You know, I can never send food back, you know, because I worked at McDonald's for seven years. But when I go to like fast food,

if they do put a pickle on it, like, even if I take it off, it's still like, Well, I can still taste that. I do that on purpose. I don't like the texture of pickles on burgers. If anything, I'll have it at the end. But I purposely don't tell them to remove it so that I can remove it and still taste it. So I agree with you.

If it's still on, you know, you really get the taste of it. It seeks. But this is, this is part of what, what it is to be autistic daily is that then you make a choice. Like, is it worse to have to send food back or is it worse to deal with the residual pickle taste? Right, right. Which is it usually? I always go with the pickle taste because at least I don't think I'm hurting somebody else. Also autistic daily.

Oh my God, Mike, I just want to hug you. Also autistic daily, my favorite magazine that got canceled. I used to love that thing. Really? Every single day. Every single day. Be like dinosaurs. It was great.

Yeah, it was really fun. I'm really, and you know what, Holden? I'm proud of you for, you know, and I'm proud of you, Mike. We got through this pickle experience together and I just wanted to say, I'm sorry that it didn't hurt you more Holden. And Mike, I'm sorry if it hurt you at all. No, it's okay. You need like an intimacy coordinator, but for like

snacks. Oh, you know what I mean? To like ease them into it? Look how sophisticated we are. I was like, I don't want it. And she was like, that's totally fine. And there's a show where we're like, make the fucking richies eat the wings. Make it. Make him.

Or just like if we were in our 20s in the basement of the Mexican food restaurant, we would probably harass Mike until he cried. You guys never did. You know what I never drank. You always did. And no one ever,

no one ever like pressured me or anything. It was always that same kind of thing too when I remember when people would like bum a cigarette from me when I used to smoke cigarettes and they'd be like, oh, I bet you're just so happy that someone smoke with you. I'm like, you're smoking my cigarettes.

It's like in the same way where it's like, we never encourage you to drink because then I would have had to buy you drinks. What am I going to buy you fucking drinks? I'm not buying you drinks. No, I never, you know, And the people that did that, it was often, you know, fans after shows where it'd be like, I want a soda, I soda drink, you know. And you're just like, eh.

Then you're like, oh, well, you're just the horrible alcoholic. And that's fine. And then you hand them a dill pickle, a liquid IV. And yes, and it was Holden. And he was hungover this entire time. I keep letting them drink and then they die of liver failure in an episode of the pit when Dr. Linden can't save them. Oh, my God.

And Wintercro feels responsible. And it keeps training in the guy. It makes me so... And then they take care of the body, like, in full detail. Yes. And he has, like, a breath, and it's like, no, he's so dead. Oh, God. That's the one we just watched last night.

Well, my wife's, like, knees hurting. Oh, yeah. We didn't even had a... What happened to Adina? She just fell over? I didn't hear about this. Yeah, yeah. I think she's okay.

Yeah, yeah. That sucks. She, she would... And she was the thing of, like, I'm still going to, you know, take a little bit of school. I'm still going to do this. I'm like, I got it. But does it care you next is strong. She has a little tall. She can't and she feels guilt. You already carry the burden of being with me.

Yeah. That's heavy enough. As Tina's not even married to Jizz Lord 420. It's a fucking nightmare. No, she's married to someone who has to talk about working with Jis Lord. And you dealing with that? She gets residjiz. Oh, yeah. Why do you think Adina and Jeff understand each other? so well. You know, they know what they,

we have to deal with. Why do you think they're both fans of horror? Yeah. Because they love it. Sticky, sticky jizzies. Man,

oh, speaking of horror, last week we were talking about different songs because we were talking about the, where were they going without ever know

in the way? Oh, fastball. And we were talking about like, I think that that story was really sad about like the real,

and then afterwards it was so funny. Adam then told me more about the story and it was like oh it's even sadder than I thought like it was like a couple that I think either like one had dementia or like both it was like Alzheimer's something that it's very sad and we were talking about this and I just wanted to give a shout out to DJ Beef McRib from our Jack and chat because DJ Beef McRib they got their whole work talking about it about different songs that had tragic backstories and they told me they're like like dancing in the moon And I was like, what are you talking about?

I didn't really dancing in the moonlight and everybody's feeling warm and right. I love that song. And apparently, it's about a brutal, brutal experience that two people experienced from a gang in LaCroix that attacked them. And so he wrote this song as a way of like, what the night would have been. They were beaten by the Poplamos gang. Right. Oh God, no, just a tinge of grapefruit is coming on us. It's like they dipped it in the water.

But no, it is an actual gang that really, that actually brutalized them. And now that song can be sad for everyone, too. I had a different lane I got down on a Reddit thread this morning that I now want to share. Please. Songs where in the music video, the person was clearly so fucked up, or at least in hindsight, admitted to being so fucked up. Oh, God. The first one is apparently Stevie Dix cannot watch the video for I can't wait because she was so coked up and drunk and fucked up that she literally can't even watch herself in that video. Oh my God.

And then my favorite one is everyone needs to watch Dennis Edwards. Don't look any further. He is so jawed up. He's like jawing so hard on cocaine. It's so funny. Like just watch the very beginning of this video, Mike. Look. It's so cooped out of his fucking head.

Did you see it, Jackie? Nash and gnash and and gnash and gnash and and gnash and oh my God. So I went down this lane this morning with coffee of just music videos where people in hindsight were like, I was, I don't remember, you know, being in that thing. This is the best sweet spot. It's like they're rich and famous musicians and they don't actually have to perform that day. They're just in the music video.

they're just, and if it's the 70s or the 80s, I mean, they're just worse. But it's also, that's like the sad thing of recovery of like, then they have to go on tour once they get sober and tap into the way more fun, creative person. Yeah. And relive it. Exactly. And try to find it again. Yeah.

Try to find it within them. Yeah. Because it lives somewhere down deep in there. Totally. Yeah. But hopefully that's not the way that Colbert is going to be going now that he doesn't have show, can we say what a way to go out? He really, I feel like, ate it up on his way out.

And I really appreciated that during the last episode of his show, I loved, I loved really everything that they were doing, but the use of the licensed music at the end of his show in a way of being like, I hope CBS doesn't get sued is very, very funny. It's a very funny, cheeky way to go out. And I just thought that it was like I liked watching the you know the I feel like the celebration of him last week But then what's going to happen now? Comics Unleashed yeah the comics are back to being unleashed Jackie as we all know is that what is that why he's in Michigan is that No, no no no no the show is being replaced but byron Allen bought the time slot

Byron Allen is back baby comedy no he's never left. Oh, yeah. He's never left. That's crazy. He's just now at 1135. If you miss those extremely scripted conversations between comics. Yes, I did. That are somehow also unleashed. This was, yeah, this was the weird pre-podcast, but we just scripted scenario.

Mike, how do you feel now that the, are you excited to appear on comics unleashed, hopefully? Oh, is this where you're going? No, I mean, I'll do it. You know, paycheck's a paycheck. I would definitely do it. They don't want me because I'd comment

and be like, this is just the word come on a piece of paper 20 times. Orges. Yeah, you're not a comic. Also, I would argue a lot of the people appear on that show

or not exactly comics. But yes, you were correct. But they do make people laugh other than themselves. See, and I can take it. I don't cry about what he just said in a dark closet afterwards. But you might,

especially as you're sipping on that, Cucumber water, babe. Now I'm really going to be open with my cucumber water. I'm not this meat on our show because we're focused on, like, you know, shit I love. It's like, I'm not going to be like, songs and hedgehog is great. You know who isn't? Holden. I mean, maybe you can start sprinkling that in, Mike.

I can't lie, and I'm very honest. And if I didn't enjoy co-hosting a show with Holden, I wouldn't be doing it. I mean, that's the thing. Why do you think I invite him back as often as I do? Because he hospitalized someone's husband. Just so he could call him with my special candles I light it night to hurt people and not help them. I mean, my whole thing with the Colbert thing is very sad on many levels of one that this was said over a year ago and then it just happened. And you really wanted to believe that something was going to happen.

You know, the way that I look at it just being in the industry, it's just 200 jobs. don't exist now and that fucking sucks. Yep. And it was interesting. I made a post where I was like, if you want to know what my friend's list is like on social media, it's half people I know work in a union and are really depressed about losing Colbert and the other half are open mic or is really excited to be on comics. Comics Unleash.

And it's funny. I had like some comedians be like, oh, you know, it's a great show and this and that. And I'm like, I have no issue with Comics Unleashed. But at the end of the day, a lot less money is going to a lot less creative people. It's a non-union show. Union shows give people health care and benefits. And it sucks when we lose that. And I would say, I think there's a version of that show.

I personally would say it's not a great show. I think there's a version of that show that would be great. It literally essentially kind of is, though, what podcasting is. But I think the comedy of it is that they aren't exactly unleashed. It feels like very. just feels very preconceived, you know? Yeah. And they're clearly like, let's act like a new conversations happening based on clearly a thing

that we already worked out. Right. Yeah, a premise we already worked out. Which is much safer. It's a much safer choice, you know, because then it's like, oh, it's all written. And we don't have to worry about anything. And then it's easier to control in the long run. And, wow, if there's nothing more unleashed than thinking about being controlled via

a script. Right. It is just let's the mind run aflame. Right, right. And I mean, and then of course, obviously, but the larger implications are really upsetting. Mixed with a weird feeling of like the late night model being feeling dated at this point, you know, I would say outside of any political stuff that it kind of gets mixed in there with me where I'm like, I'm like, wow, people still watch that people still watch TV, you know, in general. Right. And even just the fact that, that we've watched.

Watch it go full circle from like a cable into apps and streaming that now they are trying to like put like there are some apps that are trying to be like you have to it's playing at seven so you have to watch it live and stuff like that where it's just like a full circle of now we just pay even more money and amid the amount of that I was like and I have to rent every single movie I want to watch. Why is it that I have to rent every single movie that I want to watch? What I loved was that for years, Comics Unleashed was getting renewed but with no new episodes. It would just get picked up again. It would just be what the inventory was. Yes. Because like I said, he pays for the slot. Right, right.

And then he gets some of the advertising revenue. Oh. I was also listening to a... It's not like CBS just flat out bought it, you know. Just the time slot. Yeah, it is a much more cynical thing than people are giving you. Credit for. Also, on top of that, I was listening to a podcast with, like, older comics. They were like, never seen that guy at a comedy club in my life.

He did. He was the youngest person ever do Carson at 18. Okay, but way back in the day. When I was a kid, I remember I always, uh, Siskel and Ebert for whatever reason, well, because I'm from a dumb place, uh, would be on Sundays at one in the morning. But right before that was this interview show that Byron Allen hosted, which was just him doing press junkets. Uh-huh. Oh.

Yeah. Just for like movies coming out. Yeah. Yeah. Like those classically like... Yeah. The person's behind the poster of the movie. They're promoting.

Yeah. All that stuff. Wow. So he's just been hosting stuff. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm saying, I don't know if I could have picked this guy out of life. I don't know Byron Allen at all.

He was at the roast. He was in the audience. Really? Yeah. Yeah. He was like, you know what needs to be unleashed. These guys up here. guys.

Yeah. I imagine that's what. You know what? And I'm just like, Byron Allen is laughing at my joke. Me and my jokes. Why didn't you? I can't, but what a target.

You didn't want to go after Byron Allen. I would have had pages on Byron Allen. Who are you? Where do you come from? How are you still here? Again, who are you? But, man, you got that time. He's a billionaire.

He's a billionaire. He's doing fine. It's doing great. It just is funny. It feels, I don't know. I'm trying to think of what to compare it to. It just feels very like. Master P.

Like he's, yeah. Remember like in the late 90s? You're like, well, I think he has the most money because there's a diamond font on all of his albums. Literally,

yeah. A tank covered in diamonds and gold. He's got a tank in the videos. You're like, this guy's got Coke jaw and this guy's got a fucking tank. Diamond tank. Yeah. Who doesn't want a diamond tank?

Yeah. Of course that's what I want. But it's something that I... Diamond Tank is the first, like, 500 pound RuPaul's Drag Race Spitter on Diamond Tank. Hell yeah. Oh, my God. I would love to see her do cartwheels. And it's just like, yeah, hell, yeah.

The tanks rolling through people. Yeah, fuck, yeah. She'll see her trample people. Hell, yeah. Who did she do on Snatch Game? The whole cast of Housewives Atlanta. Oh, that's right. She has multiple mouths.

No, I just started getting excited because I don't know if you saw Holden, there's going to be a 90-day fiance con. I don't know if you are aware of this, but I'm worried. I mean, isn't every episode of that show a con? Yeah. I know. I think that's dangerous. I think you're just putting people in a room with a bunch of criminals. Criminals.

We talked about this, the world's worst X season two. I brought that up. Episode two, the guy with the nipple tattoos was a guy we watched on a, weekly casual basis on 98 fiance. Turns out he's a horrible person. We called that though. I mean, we did call that, but he is extremely physically abusive and crazy outside of the show.

It was like I, you know, I worked on the revival of the soup in 2000, 2020. It is back. You are right, yeah. I was writing for all of them. I pitched more barley. The roast of soup, he tried to get the roast of soup to happen on Comedy Central, but yeah. Yeah.

And then some guy just came in and said, cream of calm. I was like, yeah. And now we do a podcast. And now it's all the McNeil. It got racial with the crackers. Good, good, good. Very upset. Good, good, good.

That was me and that's how I got the roast of Kevin Hart job. You know, you got to always be working, you know? Yeah. I was like, you know, laundry makes you separate the whites and the color. And it was like, yeah, I've got it. Got him. Yeah. But what were you about to say, Mike?

Oh, about 90. Dave, you know, it was interesting, like, working on that show because, like, you know, then you're, like, making fun of the clips. And it was interesting. It really did become, like, a case-by-case basis of sometimes I felt sad for the foreign person. And sometimes I felt sad for the American. And then by the end of it, I felt sad for everybody but the learning channel. I felt sad.

I felt sad for the viewer. Yes. Honestly, it got to a point that I was talking about it. Like everyone's depressed in its pandemic. Yes. Yeah, because that was the thing was it was around the pandemic. And it was like they would do shows where they had like former 90 day couples like doing commentary on the current season. Oh, it's so bad.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Really getting meadow with it. And it is so much, and I had sworn to not watch 90-day OG anymore because I know that it is filled with criminals and TLC does no background checks. And I do feel bad. But again, I am a part of the problem. And I haven't started rewatching 90-day fiancé OG, but people in our chat have been really telling us to watch the current season. They always try to get us back on, you know.

It's just so difficult. The convention though is literally just like Putting a bunch of predators in a room with a bunch of female fans Yeah This is like grooming the convention Grooming the convention There's no way a bunch of the especially the dudes that appear on that show Are the American soil or foreign soil

Aren't all trying to have sex with the fans that show up I don't want to be in a room with any of these people Like why would you pay What's just waiting in line? Because we're not like likes-based culture. Because if you have a picture with the Ed Noneck guy, and even though you pay $200 for it, if you get 201 likes that's looked at as a profitable endeavor.

But you know he's going to be dressed as Santa Claus. You're going to have to sit on his lap. I don't want to do this. Yeah, but you're still making fun of him. Even though you're giving him money, you're still exploiting him. You're making fun of him while his cocks hard on your butt hole, dude. I don't care what's going on. Cereen?

I mean, hold on. I think you just sold more tickets to this. Yeah, I think, yeah. I think they want that. I think some people,

Carini. Is it Carriene? Yeah, divorce. Can you say divorce so divorce so carini into the camera? It's so amazing about the learning channel is that like, they started as,

remember it was these like full on surgery shows. Yeah. Oh, I loved a baby story when they would full on show like actual deliveries. Oh, of babies. Oh, yeah.

And watching it come out of it. Is it meniscus? What's the, or the mucus or whatever? The sack or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all covered in sack. And I was just like, wow. Yeah, yeah.

And I was like, the wonder of life. Yeah, I saw it. I watched it every day after school. It actually happened in a room. It was crazy. They were show a guy at a hospital and their spouse being like, they're ruining my podcast. Dude, I saw the most harrowing, sad, like,

TikTok from a nurse at a, one of those, you know, and she's just like, literally these things dudes do all the time. And it was just like make weird sexual comments about like, like, I hope you, when the baby's done breastfeeding, daddy wants to, you know, those kinds of things. Leaving the hospital saying he's going to go get a coffee and then coming back clearly high your shit. It was like so many set and they were like, this literally happens on a absolute regular basis. It's funny because it's like they used to be a show stuff that was like physically

gross and now they just show stuff that makes you feel that way. Emotionally gross. Yeah. It's insane. Like, they've had like multiple shows canceled because of child molestation. Oh, yeah. But after the first one. You'd think that they wouldn't put a kibosh on it, but they don't.

No, in fact, I think all the stuff, you know, I know it's not learning TLC, I don't think, but all the, uh, Bachelorette drama, you know what you mean? No, yeah, no, none of that. In a weird way helpful for them in their like, regular television. Yeah, oh yeah. I mean, we might still be getting that Taylor Frankie Paul, a whole Bachelor season, apparently. It's still a possibility.

It still might end up. Of course people are still screaming for it. I'm shocked they didn't already have a release tape for it. Be like, okay, well, that was crazy. And you know what didn't shock me? Chloe Kardashian's divisive response to her three-year-old son, quote, unquote, deliberately destroying her best friend's son's kindergarten graduation party. and this I you know I thought as two parents that you guys would have a fun response of like watching her talk about it so this is very much you know exactly of like the way she talks about it she talks about her child Tatum who is who's three who go like they're at this party with a toddler and she's like and Tadon just starts like destroying everything at the party which by the way Tadom is two words away from tantrum.

Maybe that's why he's acting like this Or the fact that maybe it's because her response was He's such a Leo He's such a Leo because I told him like Don't do that and he's such a Leo He just like wouldn't stop And so she let him Destroy a bunch of shit

And I can't go in nowhere So I got a beers for two hours And then calls the help She calls the nanny to come and pick the kid up To stop the kid from destroying I can't do it. You have to do. Like, it's just so, this is the issue.

You know, we were talking about, like, having an all pair and, you know, but it's like at that point, like, you're not even experiencing, I think, really raising a kid. I think it's, you know what I mean? If you have too much help, it sort of gets to the point where you're just like not even, you know, this is the result. I have an unfun response to all this. Ooh, what's your unfun response? This is all our fault.

that we wanted to fucking put these people on a pedestal and record a podcast in their fucking glasshouse. And whenever they act distant or entitled or disconnected, we still want to judge them for it. Oh, yeah. But it's like, but how is she able to just like, she doesn't know it? She doesn't know that she can pick up the toddler and be like, kids, we're out. We're not acting like this. She literally doesn't even think that that's an option. She doesn't know that that's who she probably was as a toddler.

Oh, I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. But I'll also throw this out. The thing that upsets me, it's not even her. It was when we got into later when people are like, that's why you don't do general parenting, which is like the most ignorant-ass response.

That's not general parenting. Like, I do general parenting with my wife. We talk about this all the time. That doesn't just mean let your fucking. dickhead kid run around a party and fuck shit up and let it happen. That's not gentle parenting. Gentle parenting involves a lot of interaction in that situation, you know? A lot of interference in what's going on.

This line, he saw the food buffet and he's like, I'm going to flip all that over. And I was like, no, you're not. It's hot. It's like boiling water. So he didn't do that, but it was so funny. You had to be there to see him act like this. He was like the Tasmanian devil tornadoing through this party. Yeah, but it's also interesting that these are all quotes from a podcast.

right where she is repeating the story for entertainment purposes and trying you know to to get us to talk about it yeah and and and it's so interesting where it's like but people are reacting to it as if they're eaves dropping on it and it's not something she publicly shared with ad revenues that she's making money for right that is a part of the PR machine it just you know it is a thing of like there is you know the the Gord and not, right? That it was the unsolvable not that Alexander the Great in order to be like a leader. You had to figure out how to untie it to, and nobody could do it. And he just cut it in half, right? Damn, that's one way. Yeah. He's like, it ain't tied anymore.

And the thing is, like, there is a very much cut the gorgian knot of a lot of these stories that doesn't make them as fun to talk about. But it's hard for me not to want to do it when children are involved. Yeah. Because it's also, it's like for every person that is criticizing her, there are people criticizing Tatum. And who is just a child and should not be criticized for acting this way. And should not be publicized in the way that she's doing with her child.

Well, I mean, the fact that they're all on the show, we yell about this with Eladia Baldwin, too, because M.G specifically, what really, like, caused. MJ into like the Gordian knock for MJ is the fact that Hilary Baldwin not only post pictures of her kids faces, but also in the shirts like the daycare centers

that they go to with the addresses on them of where these kids are. At what point do we not have laws right? And I know that's a boring unfun conversation, but at what point are we not thinking about protecting these kids?

Like, where do we stop saying, well, you know, if the parent wants to do that, but it's like, but it is a child and they don't get it saying this shit. I feel like that that's, that's getting into the giant can of worms of, especially, you know, online oversight. Yeah. You know, much less TV rules and TV. Yeah, yeah. Yes. We were trying to figure out, I was watching Florida Bamishore and the fucking dirtbag, 24 year old guy was in a relationship with a 19 year old. And on the phone, she sounded like a 12 year old.

And it was like, wait, can she even be on the show? show? Like, is she even allowed to be on camera? 12 is 19 in the floor of Amos. So, seriously? No, she's sound, yeah. It was, like, so disturbing is she'd be like, way, mama, me. And it was so uncomfortable, because it was like,

what are you doing, dude? I know you're only like 24, but like, this is so. And, uh, and, and yeah, it's just. Yeah, but it's also, you know, like, fuck these producers. Yeah. You know, like, that's, that's how cynical I am or it's, you know, of just like,

they know who they're putting on. Oh, totally. And they know what they're getting these people to do. Yeah. You know? 100%.

It's, it's a tricky one because like I personally, I mean, what do you even think? I mean, I have issues with the child actor thing in general.

I mean, are we at the point with technology now or we could start digitally, you know, kind of creating performances. Like, hey,

we're willing to like make somebody like, like Robert De Niro fucking 30 for a role or whatever digitally. Oh my God. He's trying to beat them up and he's just like, ugh. Yeah, why can we like take grown-ass adults and like age them down and fuck with their voices and do something to make them the child actors so we can relieve a whole just shitloads of people from trauma? That are using AI in the positive ways.

Like we were watching this docu-series about this Mormon. Oh, God, it was, I mean, horrific docu-series. But part of what they use the AI for in it was to, you know, the one I'm talking about. Yes. And that they hid all the child brides that he had. They transformed their faces because they were all still minors. So they just transformed their faces in the docu series. And it's things like that that I was like,

I appreciate that they protected those child brides from being on a Netflix movie series. And can we get Drake off the streets? Can we get Jake Drake off the street? Are you comparing Jake? You said Jake. Get Jake off the street. I mean, Drake Young is the problem in two words. Yeah.

A minor. I, is this, wow, is this me auditioning to be Jake on nerd of mouth? Oh, my God. I could be so nerdy. What do you think about anime? Oh, my God. What are your favorite anime? What are your favorite top of the anime?

Make them up if you have to. I remember, honestly, I was thinking about Carol and Tuesday the other day. Oh my God, the loneliest girl. You used to watch Carol in Tuesday. It's about two musicians that, like, have a kind of a will they won't they, right? Or no, they're just buddies, right? But they, it's like a music. You would actually really like this anime series that's like two lady singers.

The music's really good. It's really fun. You literally just saw what our show is where it was like, I think they're joking. No, they're not. That's just a real thing. And now, hold on, it's going to talk about it. Now he's going to talk at you about it. No, it actually is a real thing.

You actually would really like it. Yeah, he was barred-iber-h. The loneliest girl. Yeah, the, you remember what? when we were obsessed with that song. And then Holden and I would just sing, where I am the loneliest girl. And we would cry about being the loneliest girls.

And my head can. And the idol is the sequel series. Oh my God. I'm a freak yet. And you know what is bad. Listen to this new version I made. She just like has sex with her point in the studio. Can you watch the idol?

It just adds the noise to the, dude. The idol, are you familiar with the weekend? I would love to watch. Yeah. I would love to watch. Watch Mike, watch the idol. Oh, that started Weekendee. Yeah.

Oh, my God. That was the craziest fucking thing I think I've ever seen. I'm a freak. I'm a freak. Which honestly. This is new version. I'm a freak. Because she does do a remix and adds like actual her fucking sounds into it.

Who was the female lead in that? Lily Rose Depp. Yeah, Lily Rose Depp. And it was the female, I would say, victim. Victim in it. It was Lily Rose Depp. It is honestly. five yoga hosers to do that.

Right. Yeah, she's in yoga hoes of, but Kevin's also giving me like euphoria vibes, obviously Sam Levinson. Have you watched any of season three yet? Man, you know, I had promised MJ because I had two long flights over our break. And I was like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna absorb.

I could. I was sitting on the plane and I went to start and I was like, I just can't even. I can't. And I was like, I'm just gonna watch Real Housewives of Rhode Island. I'd rather, I'd rather watch the girls that talk like this.

I see the headlines every week. Is the show over yet? It is over. God, they've reached a new low. I got it spoiled for me. I don't want to spoil it for other people, but I will say it is over. I think it's inherently spoiled. Yeah, there is a big character death that a lot of people have been talking about.

And I think that honestly, now I'm like, do I watch it just to watch that die? Because I would. Unless it's Sam Levinson himself, I don't know how interested I do. be. It is. It sounds like I will say it has to do with a coffin and a snake. And so I'm just throwing that out there. It seems like it is a lot of fun. But

depends on what you mean by fun. Yeah. And I guess Are they still all in high school? No, there was a time jump. They Riverdale them. I know that's not always just calling it Riverdale them, but they just, there was so many time jumps in Riverdale that I do now

refer to any time jump as getting Riverdale, especially the amount that I've been... Stranger Things do that. Why didn't they do that? Did a time jump? Yeah. Because the actors were so...

That was like the whole thing everyone yelled about for season... Did you finish the... Did you... Did you... I don't watch season five yet. No, no. And, uh...

Is this a show where we talk about the shit we haven't watched yet? Yeah, I'm just asking you haven't watched you. I'm going to keep going. I got to wait for our next show to talk about the boys. Which I did finish. Oh, you did finish. I couldn't...

You guys can talk about the boys right now if you want to talk about the boys. Can I just throw it out there? I gave up last season. I gave up last season because I felt like reheated nachos. I kind of felt like it's like, yeah, but did you know he's even worse than you thought? And it's like, yep, Homeland is bad. I know he's bad.

And I know. But I also, how did you feel, I guess just real quick. I'm assuming you read the comics and also watched the show. What did you think? Oh, just the movie. I mean, I think the show is much better. You know, the comics are very like one note. and it stays there for a while.

It goes through different artists who are not as good as the original guy. So that's a big dip in quality. But yeah, the show, it definitely felt like it was coasting in many ways. I mean, I do think that finales are very hard, especially now with fan theorizing and all that. But it's still, there was just this, yeah, like an emptiness to it. You know, this happened with Game of Thrones. A lot of shows where it's like the build is better. Yes, than the actual finale.

Yeah. And watching someone be a dick is more entertaining than watching their comeuppance to the point that their comeuppance can never be as satisfying as enjoying how much of a dick they were. Is you talking about jizz? Is that what's happening right now? I mean, there is a lot of jizz in the show. There's a lot of jizz. The build.

Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of that intertwined. It just depends on what episode. Yeah. You come up and I come down. And I come down. But do you have crushes on Disney characters?

It's time for the list. Who's on the list? Jackie, got to have that list. Now, this is just a list of celebrities talking about their Disney crushes. Out the gate, I'm going to throw it out there. Part of the reason why I wrote a whole monster fucker comedy. show is because I was always attracted to the beast.

Canonically, I was attracted to the beast. I was so upset when he became a human. I wanted him to turn back into the beast. I remember being a child, being like he was hotter as the beast. And so I was always a beast girl. Did you guys have, now, I mean, it could be human or animal like.

It was just, you know, you know, yours, I've never, I've always wanted to talk about this, and I'm glad I have the venue too. You're welcome. Thank you. But, like, Bell is such a unique character. I love that her main characteristic is she likes to read. Yeah.

But what is interesting is the idea at the end that she immediately would be like, yeah, I'll still be with you. Like, I think she was into the beast. I also feel like she was too, where she's like, I feel like it is a concession of like, I mean, I really wanted to be with you before, but I guess now that you're human. Well, I guess the candle's a guy now and that's nice. Yeah, I guess that's good. I mean, it is, it is such, like, a fucking elitist thing that all the servants have to pay for the behavior of one shitty aristocrat. You're right.

It's not, it's not the teacups fault. And I've read like some of the, yeah, the kids, yeah, fucking. I like that they had a kid cup in there. Like, good, the kid's slave turns into an inanimate object too. Yeah. I remember my first dad about, I had a bit about if Chip comes. turns back into human, does he have the gaping hole in his head? Yeah, I imagine, you would...

Stop loving him! Stop loving him! You just immediately, like, crack him. What are you? Crush-wise? Yeah. I'd probably go with Ariel. Okay, all right. A little mermaid for sure.

I mean, Bell, you know, was... By the way, I, like, never had, like... But if it's Ariel, where do you put it in? Specific. My penis? Yeah. I mean, I feel like... Are you talking lagged or fined?

There's... Under the Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you gotta look under the sea, huh? Yeah, yeah, I mean, I don't know. Would you fuck a centaur? Would you fuck a centaur? Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, figured out. I know, that's why I'm asking you. But not the ones of Hercules. He had, like, bad hair. I'm only looking at the hair with that one, you know? My guess is that there is like some kind of hole under some gill flaps. You just flip up the gill flaps and make it happen.

I think that's what Tom Cruise is always looking for, too. Oh, and also, wait, there was a lady, what? I mean, there's Lola Bunny. Yes. That's Warner Brothers. But that's Warner Brothers. I think Warner Brothers actually had the hotter, you know, Jessica Rabbit. That is Disney.

That is Disney. Okay. And honestly, I would even fuck with the, oh, my, and lady that he thinks is Jessica Rabbit. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'd also fuck with Bob Hoskins. I'd fuck with Bob Hoskins as a human or as a cartoon. But yeah, I think there were maybe some aristocrats or so.

I think there was some lady or, or, uh. Arrista cats. Arista cats. Sorry. I love correcting him on dumb shit. All Dogs Go to Heaven, which I know is also not. It's not Disney. Oh, but that's sad.

I think that had a lady cat in it, or a dog that got my... Really? Yeah. Because I feel like, even, like, in the Aristot Cats, I feel like she had to stick up her little cat ass, and she wasn't my type. No, I think it was All Dogs Goat Heaven because it's the one that, like, lures him to... There's a seductive dog and all dogs go to heaven. And the racist Asian cats and 101 Dalmatians.

We are Siamese, if you please. Yeah. Lady the Tram. Yeah. Oh, Lady the Tram. Lady the Tram. Yeah. I'm trying to see if there's, it seems like.

I really hate doing it too. It's like, I can't stop yourself. Apparently. Because I'm that guy. I don't want to be that guy. Her name was Sasha LaFleur. She was a sultry, Irish setter. There you go.

That was in all dogs. That got my. What breed was she? That got me confused. Oh, Holden. I didn't realize this was your type. And yeah, we are talking about Sasha LaFloor. I mean, if she loves him, then she's an Irish settler.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then mixed in with around this time with a lot of bestiality stuff, there was, what's her name? Are you like, I want to fuck the brave little toast? What's the music video? Which is not Disney also.

What's the music video with the cartoon dog with the hotline? Oh, two-step. forward. Yes. Oh, you're an MC Scat cat. Oh, my God. He's a Tomcat, yeah. He's a Tomcat, yeah.

All confused that one. You know what I mean? I'm showing pictures with you looking at Sasha LaFleur. Thank you. I came up with an answer because it took too long and that one very sincere and emotional again. It's a picture. You want us to go back to Father himself? No, no, no, it's Pixar.

Ellie from up. Oh, God. Oh, God. I want to start when we're both, you know, eight, and I want to see her till the end. Oh, my God. And I was where you were like, yeah, I want her dead. No. It was funny.

I did push for that to be the song. We walked down the aisle to the married life montage. And Adina, rightfully so was like, no. Too sad. Too sad. I was like, you're going to outlive me. This is just a fantasy. Yeah.

I was like, and if you die, you don't want me befriending an Asian boy. It would be so amazing if you started, like, young and then slowly, like, did a costume change as you walked down, and then she stumbles at one point. And you have to, like, pick her up. We look at miscarriage clouds. Yeah, yeah. And then they'd be, like, she falls into a bed right at the, right at the end. And, you know, that would be amazing. Oh, but then you leave the ceremony in a hot air balloon.

Oh, my God. Stop. With some Boy Scout boy. And then you realize at the end, Jackie, that they didn't have to go to Paradise Falls because Paradise Falls was, It was their marriage. It was their marriage. It was in their whole time. It was in the whole time.

But that, I just, to me, it's still like the best, like, portrayal of love that I've ever seen on screen. Oh my God. And 24-second montage. Oh,

there's just, it is. If only it was two seconds less. Yeah. Oh, that's right. Right, dude. I got so high when I saw up,

bro. Yeah, me. And something on a hog. I was fucking high, higher than up. I shouldn't have been because I would have just sobbed even more.

Are you kidding me? The hot air balloon is just as like a weed cloud. You know, yeah. It just, I don't know that. That movie, yeah, it's still like what I want to cry about other things I watch that. Watch that movie. Just get it out. Just got to get it processed.

Yeah. My mom called me saying she was dying like two weeks ago. And I didn't know how to process it. And I'm like, up's going on. I'm just going to put up on. You know, it's just better this way. And this is, you know what, honestly, I didn't even end up getting into the list. just throwing out there. Robert Irwin,

he's a Moulon, bitch. He said, you know what I always thought was an absolute boss and, like, she's so dang cool? Mulan. That scene where she puts the gear on, she gets a sword. Oh, Moulon herself. Yeah. I was like, there wasn't a character name Robert Irwin and Moulon? No, no, Robert Irwin, the child, well, he's not a child anymore, but the adult

who is now... He's not a child anymore. No, he is now hosting the next pro. You've seen this dirty package in underwear. Does he say, she'll make a man out of me? Oh, yeah. I bet he will. I think he's already had a man made of him. Turned the boy into a man for sure. And speaking of dancing with the stars, Derek Ho, he chooses Jasmine, which I feel like

that's an easy one. I think we all wanted to bang Jasmine. I feel like that's an easy choice. Oh, I mean, to be with an ethnic woman with the voice of a white girl? Yeah. And when she sings, she's, and when she sings, she's Asian? I mean. And it's a low, and she's able to really wear the low-rise pants in such a way their ass never

hangs out of him. And Will Smith? She's got Persian ethnicity, Leah Solonga's voice, and some white lady's speaking voice. Yeah. And great earrings. She's really killing her.

And a tiger named Raja. I mean, she's got it all. And a fat, a feminine dad. Yeah. Take off her clothes. Remember that? Oh, no. Yeah, that was the thing.

He whispers take off for clothes. But he doesn't actually, though, right? Ryan Felipe, which I didn't even know he's in 911, Nashville. Did you know that? Look, network TV is the witness protection program. This is some interesting celebrity pools for this list. I know.

Ryan Felipe, he says, I don't have one. These are all ABC people, right? Yeah, it was all done, no way. Like, in one, yeah, in one pool. I don't have one. He says, I'm not attracted to cartoons. And then it goes, Jessica Rabbit, which, again, that's an easy one. It's an easy one.

That's why after I even said it, I was like, yeah, but I'm also wanted to fuck the dog lady. Thank you, because those are easy ones. because even Stasi, Vanderpump Stasi, said Tarzan. And again, these are all, I'm like, give me something to really be like, oh. Well, yeah. Say like a grab or something. No one wants to give an actual answer, which is adult Nala, because they feel weird for taking that extra second to add the word adult.

Adult Nala into it. But adult Nala is very hot. Or the snake in a jungle book. Ca. Yeah, Kaa. Oh, yeah. Give me some Kahn. My Kahn.

I mean, that and also the, I mean, the bear could definitely get it. Yeah. Are you upset by him, Mike? Are you upset? Here's a, no. But you didn't even hear it. I wanted to know internally what was going on there was. I was like, oh, we actually are having a conversation about a Disney character.

And, oh, no, he just said, ca, and I say, ca. Yeah. But you put the tail in your ass while it's sucking your dick. Yeah, but you put the tail in your ass while it's sucking your dick, Mike. Don't you wish a big Johnson shirt was a person? Oh, my God. Holdenna. We talked about Big Jockeys.

Big Jackie's was a line of shirts for a little while. A whole line, baby. But you see, that's why I'm asking for like Billy Lord's answer. Who said Bluey? You know, that's a scary choice. That's a very scary choice right there.

We have seen, uh-oh, aged up bluey at least. Oh, have you? You've gotten old Bluey? Very rarely in a couple of episodes, but still, yeah, that's very, very... Does it become like more like indigo? Why not just say chilly?

Why not just say the mom? Oh, maybe they don't... The mom is waiting. But my mom isn't blue. But the mom is way hotter than... But is there an adult female blue dog? Like I said, there's been a couple of moments. I know there was the...

A couple of flash forwards. The, uh, was it the aunt who couldn't have kids? But was she blue? No, I don't think. I think she was gray like her heart because she couldn't have kids. Gray. Just like, oh, when you're talking about my heart, Holden? When you talk, were you actually talking about my hair when you said gray?

But maybe you were talking about my heart? She can't adopt, Mike. That's out of the question. Out of the question. I'm either could Ellie from up. Oh, God. Don't bring it full circle, Mike. Good Lord.

And I just realized. Guys, my wife had the life that Ellie and Carmel never gave themselves. Did you explain this to your wife when she continued to not let you walk down the aisle to the wedding song from up? Also, I don't think Ellie wanted to hurt her knee on a simple, you know, woods outing. You know what I mean? I don't think Goddina wanted to hurt her knee either. You think all people that get hurt wanted this to happen?

Holden, do we need to talk about things you're doing yourself? In Olympics, it comes all the way back around. I know, and you want to start docking. Is that why you guys both came to start docking? Remember the docking when they would cut the tip and like a cross shape and they would put the penis inside of it? I know I'm not the only one still thinking about that on a weekly basis at least. I'm just starting to come to my realization that I don't have any blind items.

Because MJ is not here and I wasn't even thinking about the fact. I got one actually. Whoa. What? What is it, Holden? This man loves to jizz. Yeah, this man loves to jizz. Where does he love to jizz out of?

This man, his name starts with an H. Okay. Ends with an old. Ends with an old. And he loves a skipperish skip around the town. Whoa. I just want everyone to know that when you say this episode, isn't as good as the other ones.

I know you mean him, but I'm still going to think you also mean me. So please remember to give it up for mine. Remember, like, please. Why don't you wrangle him? It would also like lean into it like the fucking noid. It's not my think of it. I miss the noids so much.

Just because that guy had a fucking, you are the noid, olden. Rob that Domino's Pizza place with a gunpoint and torture people for hours, dressed as the noid or whatever. Do you know the story? No, no, no. Really?

No, but it's what? Who let the dogs out of space? Who? So the noid went away, and the reason why the noid went away is because this guy thought he was being targeted by the noid commercials to like, and it was driving him insane.

I'm being targeted. So he showed up and like literally held this Domino's workers hostage for hours and hours and like tortured them and shit. And then it was like, ended in this whole police. standoff and then they literally yeah I'm not. True crime doesn't just save this network

it saves this episode. Yeah. That's why they got rid of the noid until like kind of recently. That's why they say avoid the noid. Yeah. So he went into a dominoes. And like held people at gunpoint for like hours and hours. And I think it was actually one of those where they finally convinced him like you're hungry.

Shouldn't he hold him at gunpoint 30 minutes or less? Yeah. That's what he'd think he'd go to like a little Caesars or something right? Why would he go to him? Like the place of work? Psychosis. I forgot the part of the story. His last name, I think, was like, Noid.

I've not, again, not making this up. I think his last name was Noid or like Noid was in his name. And so he thought the commercials were targeting him specifically. Or just the real housewife of Rhode Island was calling him a nerd and it came out as, you know, I know. So you're looking this up, right? This is, I'm not crazy, right? This is a real thing.

You don't have to look it up. I just thought maybe we were. I have been looking it up and I am trying to find. So the Noid, this again, this is an AI overview. Domino's 1980s advertised mascot, a center of bizarre hostage situation, a mentally unstable man named Kenneth Lamar Noid, who believed the avoid the noid ad campaign was created specifically to mock and antagonize him held to employees at gunpoint in Chambly, Georgia. Oh, what happens in Jambley? Don't stay down.

You're hungry, right? Let us make you a pizza. He demanded a $100,000 ransom, a getaway car, and a copy of the novel The Widow's son. Why? Is it like one of those things where it's like you have to make sure that you get like one innocuous thing to make sure you did everything else on the rider? Is that like what you was trying to do? Actually, this is the widower's daughter. So I guess I got to get rid of you. We're going to be some widow sons now, motherfucker.

Wow. This is, yeah. Isn't that crazy? You were right. I guess that's why we got to avoid the noid. Yeah, and they removed it from all advertising. It was one of my favorite advertising characters. I feel bad for the person that probably thought that they were about to sign a death of like career contract being the noid for the rest of their career,

thinking that this is going to pay their bills for forever. And then it just all. I mean, you're right. It makes so much sense of why it went away so quickly. That's crazy. Holden, that is wild. And that is a great, honestly, it was a kind of a weird blind item for you to give us. This non-celebrity held up a Domino's gunpoint because he was afraid of that he thought he was getting targeted by commercials. Jackie, guess his name. Yeah, noid. It was Kenneth Lamar Noid. I mean, this is just a short one.

Who is Kendrick Lamar Noid. Whoa. Now, Drake would use that, man. They not like Hut. They not like HUD. They not like HUD. They not like HUD. That's great. They not like a HUD. This is also just a random one.

The meme actor and his girlfriend were busted for smoking together inside a men's toilet stall. We're talking about, we were talking about one of their siblings earlier. I would throw out there that it is a relationship that I do feel has a lot of PR backing with it. because I will say one of these people was up for an Oscar this year. He really thought that he was going to win it. And maybe it was for a movie that he learned how to be the character all over the world because he would take a table with him anywhere he went, even if he were in the sands, so that he could learn the game so that he could not win the Oscar.

Yes. And who is he dating? Kendrick Lamar. Nope. Kylie Jenner. He's dating Kylie Jenner. They were smoking in a men's toilet stall. Obiehave. I believe that. Dude, I was in the

fucking Chicago O'Hare taking a shit and somebody went to the stall next to me and lit a fucking cigarette. And at first I was like, that's disgusting. Then I was just like, how sad is your addiction that you need to honor? You're willing to not only like get on a no fly list, but

also sit in my shit stink. Yeah. But you know there's also a guy on another podcast now who like, you know, I was in Chicago Air and someone took a shit in a public bathroom. I'm smoking a cigarette. They're meant for cigarettes. I'm a loser. But maybe you can't shit anyway.

Yeah, I toss a shit out at an airport any day. I remember I used to, man, this first cigarette of the day, that used to really clean me out. Uh-huh. So you think he was smoking two-taking shit? Yeah. That shit, that was wild to me. It was like, obviously, too. I'm hungover.

I mean, this thing. Ew, can you imagine what came out of you. Or whatever. You drank the whole pickle drink. I wanted to get hydrated. I'm really. I'm surprised. I feel hydrated too.

I feel like my body's mostly water right now. Yeah, you're looking more like a pickle. Day in and day out. Yeah, yeah, from yellow to green. So I think it helped my liver issue. And we're clearing up the gronky. Because. Yeah.

I hate Jizz now. In one episode, Mike, we did it with our powers combined. We helped him hate Jiz. I ate that sticky white. But he still had to say to get one. of his three laps of the episode. He did have to say it aloud. And now for a rap, hi, it's me.

And a week from now, he's going to be like, how come I don't get the writing jobs you do? And then a montage of just, JIS, JIS, JIS, JIS. I wrote on a damn TV show recently. He wrote on a TV show recently. And there were no JIS joke. Well, there was some horniness jokes, but no Jiz.

Not any con jokes. Yeah, it's like you can be something else when you want to be. There you go. And it's not very often that he wants to be. Now, I will say that is our blinds. I hope all your snacks for this is pickle related. No, there's no more. Don't worry, don't worry, Mike.

There are no more pickles. There are a lot of pickle flavored snacks. Like, I think half the time I come here, it's a pickle situation. Part of the reason why I want to say thank you again to Emily for sending that in because MJ likes to get all the different pickle stuff. So I also appreciate Emily had sent that in knowing that we were in a pickle hounds. There's just a huge kosher Jewish community that loves the show. Love the show, please.

But also I want to give. Now this is, it's time for Jackie Snackies, and they're going to play the theme song. I've been a snacky girl. Snacky. I've been a snacky girl. Snacky. I've been a snacky girl.

Snacky. I've been a snacky. Snacky. Is somebody going to eat those chips? Is somebody going to dip those dips? Is somebody going to try those candies? I got seminar. They say I'm a snack lead.

But this is coming in from Benet Jeseret, from our chat. We're giving it up. for Jesse. Greetings from North Carolina because Ben-Jezerite had already sent in the Alote popcorn that I became obsessed with. And then Jesse has now sent in the pimento cheese poppy popcorn. And I appreciate it because they're from North Carolina.

And I want to say thank you because they said, if they could, they would have just sent me pimento cheese because I don't know if you all know this, but I love me. Some American cheese mix of mayo in a dip. And you think that I'm lying saying that I'm not. But sometimes you want to dust that all over. Some popcorn pimento cheese.

Popcorn. This is coming in from Poppy. And this is a small, it's like a local popcorn company that makes amazing flavors. And is any of this triggering for you, Mike? How do you feel about pimento cheese? cheese. Yeah, I'm okay with it. Are you into flavored popcorn? Yes.

I mean, I'm North Carolina Aspich as well, and I love pimento cheese. I love it. I love the peppers, the, I will say, a lot of that's texture. I love the creamy thickness of it and everything, dipping a big old cracker into it, but they can nail the flavoring. I still might be in it to win it with the pimento cheese. This is like the best cheesy popcorn I've ever had. Oh my god

It's got such good cheese flavor on it And I'm saying this I'm such a smart food ass bitch Like a pussy ass pathetic ass bitch But this has got good Because that smart food shit It tastes like diet popcorn I'm gonna say it feels a little more embedded

On the popcorn You want some more get in there Like it's not too powdery on it You know what I mean? It's not getting all over my fingers Yeah yeah exactly It really and The dust is not so

egregious. Sometimes I feel like it's hard to get the powder to stick on a popcorn. I feel like there is a lot more dust on the bottom. Let me take a picture with you, Holden though. Oh, he's so cute. Look at how cute he is. Scampers. Look at how cutie. Aw, scampers from our D&D game. Remember when we used to play D&D guys? If you ever want to come over. They didn't feel like we broke up. It just felt like we stopped. Yeah, we had to stop because one of our players moved away. But then now I've been playing, I've been talking. I've been talking. about it on the show a little bit more. Do you want any more? Do you want to try any more of this? I'm good. Yeah. We were talking about it on the show because I've been playing D&D with Amber. And I just want to throw it out there. If you guys ever get the opportunity to play D&D with Amber. It is one of the funniest experiences. And she's not trying to be. Yeah. She just makes crazy choices. She just makes the craziest choices I've ever seen.

And I, um... That's great D&D, though. It really is. It's fun. Crazy choices is what it's true. kind of way. Jeff is such a great DM. Yeah. Thanks for saying that. He really is.

I say it as if I own him. So thank you. I appreciate it. I take that as a compliment for me because I chose him as my husband and I thank you for that. You're the dungeon mistress. Yeah.

Oh my God. I need to get that tattoo. Dungeon mistress. Yeah. On the inside of your like... Pussy lips. No, I was going to say butt cheeks or whatever. Oh, butt cheeks.

Not like on the hole, but like kind of... The reverse pussy lips. The butt cheeks. Yeah. Yeah. Put it right in there. So you have to spread them a little bit to see it. And also to get it.

So I imagine that would be difficult. You need, no, it's like a magic ink, but you have to rub lubricant on it. Oh, gotcha. Yeah. And water or whatever. You know what I mean? And shake it.

You have to like shake that ass. Shake it up. You have to heat it up. Yeah, yeah. I call it lubricant because it allows you to do things. You don't believe you can. Yeah, that's true. Wow.

Wow. That's a little lubricant. Why is it called it? Cheat-Jade. Come back. This is what PR is here for, but also this is what you guys are here for, and that's smiles. Thank you both so much for coming and hanging out on page seven today. And you know what?

Honestly, Holden, I didn't even have to yell at you that much. Yeah. I feel I will get yelled at because I didn't yell at him enough. Right. She didn't control me. She gets emails where people like, you need to control him more. I mean, it was back when I was a regular co-host. Now it's, I can come in and be like, hey, this is my thing.

And people go, oh, okay, I'll skip this one, you know, or whatever. I already let them know that MJ was not on this episode over on the Patreon just so they could prepare themselves. I was booked for three months. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were, and not only you were expected, but you were appreciated. Mike, and wanted. And wanted. Where can we find you boys?

Oh my God, nerd a mouth. Yeah, nerd mouth. You know, we talk about, you know, nerdy stuff. We're talking about Masters of the Universe and Daredevil. and all-timey comic scripts and all sorts of fun things. And, yeah, we've been doing it over a year now. It was weird because me and Jake had a show for like six years. And then I left and Holden and Jake had a much better show.

I can openly say that. And then now I then got asked to make their better show worse. No, you're making it sore. Together, the three of you make it so. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

No, I love the show. When there isn't a word that you have to say every two minutes, you can come up with different ideas. Try it. Jizz. I, there's a, you know, I, yeah, I think the show's great. And it's been so much more fun. I think we're kind of going for more, like, topic-based discussions

that are a little more interesting to unpack. I feel like. We talked about like the history of like the nerd and popular culture. Things like that. The scrappy do effect where a character comes in late in the series and ruins it. We did a Mr. Beast episode. Oh, yeah. Oh, hell yeah.

So we're like, you know, more pop culture adjacent. Yeah, yeah, definitely. And it kind of goes all over the place. So check out nerd of mouth. I mean, whenever we try to be people, there's a person who isn't people that tells us to stop being people. Yeah. And then we just double it. up on the peopling.

Exactly. Hell yeah. That's how you do it. There are a lot of podcasts where all they talk about is video games. But also throwing it out there, Holden, I'm going to let you know, already started following and have my subscription for Screenbox. Thank you. I want everyone to know.

I even know how early to start talking about this. But yeah, your dearest, darkest friend with Ted Ramey is going to be coming out on Screenbox, presumably in October. So I know, I don't know if people are aware of Screenbox. Apparently it's going to be on some version of television. There are commercial breaks. There, it does see. I don't know where it would exist on television.

I guess there's like a screenbox TV channel. I don't know what's going on. Hell yeah. That's great. On your TV so you could say you've been on television. Yes. So check that out. But check out screen box.

Maybe just get cozy in there, get acquainted with there. I've started folding in. I'm so excited for the show to come out. Hold there's ho on Twitch. Watch Jackie and I party it up every single Friday. That's all I have left. Mike, anything else? Oh, yeah.

Watch the number one show on Netflix. Yeah, watch the roast of Kevin Hart and just remember whatever conversations you have about it, whatever you watch from it. I make no extra money. So if I am not super engaged in conversations about it, it's because it would be work for something I am no longer working for. Hell yeah, we're moving onwards and upwards, Bay. We got that next paycheck.

Yep, we got other things to do. We can't be looking behind us. We're looking forward, everybody. And thank you both so much for coming out and, and, and, and, and, and, and, you're And remember everybody, check out Nerd of Mouth. I'm sure you're aware of it. But it really is a great brother show to this show. I think that, you know, you might not like everything we talk about on both shows.

No, there is a brother show to this show. It's the most like, yeah. You know, surprisingly, I can't really compare page seven last podcast. But it's pretty easy to compare it to Nerd of Mouth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People see some dissimilarities between, you know. Page 7 and last podcast, but that's okay. I don't need to tour the world.

I think it's better sitting right here with my boys. My name is Jackie Zabrowski, and you can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. Come hang out over on the Discord. You can follow the link in my bio to come hang out on our Discord for Monster Match. Yes, my husband and I are writing a crypted fuck video games. So come hang out in our Discord. We are making it with Dorian, and it is a really cool feature. email-owned video game company that we are working with now, and we are putting a lot of

time and energy into this, and we're going to be having a demo coming out pretty soon, and we want to hear your feedback. Just head on over to the Discord link in my bio over on Instagram. And again, also, this week, this week, this week, Crescent City, House of Flame and Shadow, season three, or at least book three, begins this week. We are starting it now to get ready for the Akitar Relo. least in October. Because if you haven't read Crescent City yet, you better get on it because it is very necessary

to get into the next Akitar book. So with no spoilers, come check that out over on LPN Romanticy Deep Dives. Thank you everyone for hanging out with our episode. And please send some love over to MJ, if you can, MJ KL Kat on Instagram. Get Better Gideon. Yes. And also, congratulations, MJ for graduating from grad school. So crazy, too, to have.

It's all going on at once. Yeah. Congrats, MJ. Yes, we want to thank you all. All the love and the luck. Yes, and we want to thank you all for understanding and for your patience. And everybody, go on over to the Patreon. Patreon.com slash page seven podcast.

We will hear from you guys soon. And we will be back. I'll be back with MJ tomorrow. Bye, everybody. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.

Thank you.