Page 7 - You've Licked it Cold, Now Sip it Warm w/ Natalie Jean

Episode Date: October 9, 2025

This week Jackie and MJ are joined by Natalie Jean-ZEBROWSKI to goss' 'bout Carmelita getting double skunk blasted, a MIRRORBALL of perspectives as our three hosts discuss Taytays latest release "The Life of a Showgirl" and in true Swift fashion, you're gonna have to listen to tomorrow's episode of "Second Helpings" for Holden's special take! Jackie brings news of what could be the world's first HOT ICE CREAM, coming from the author of Modelland, Tyra Banks! THE LOVE HAS GONE, we're talkin' 'bout that divorce again, TRIGGER WARNING, Sydney Sweeney is gross and dating Scooter Braun, then we got a list with the aggressive title of "I Genuinely Can NOT Look At These 24 Famous People the Same Way After Learning These Bizarre and Shocking Facts!", blindz, and Jackie's Snackie's starts at 1:11:02.740 (with MJ's Minute Munchie's at 1:18:50.509) til 1:22:42.001, plus even more hot goss' this week on Page 7!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Don't hide in. Now I'm shining like I'm born to be. We're dreaming hard. We come so far now I believe. We're going up, up, pop. It's our moment. You know, together my glory is. Gotta be going to be golden. Oh. Ah, up. Oh, my voice.

I said, never be a sound of my son. We're got to be, got to be calling. I can't. I don't know what to do with my son. Now we have to sing the whole song. We get blue balls if you don't sing the whole song. You know, it's like... Yeah.

You know, surprisingly, I can't sing the whole thing. But, you know, I get in there and I certainly do a lot of... I know the Korean parts. We're all figuring out what to do during those parts. Oh, man. It's a lot. It's vibing, I think, is what it's called. Welcome Natalie Jean-Zabrowski.

Yeah, I'm including the hyphen. We're getting real. I want everyone to remember. member that we're connected governmentally. Yeah. And everybody think about it every time I see us. I don't know if you and Natalie are connected governmentally. Are we not? Is that not if like if I am connected? Maybe if there's like a

like a big crisis accident like the only two left or something. I just feel like in some ways don't I also own you because my family owns you? Wait, your family owns me? Yeah. I mean the Zabrowski name owns you with that hyphen. Just that the woman? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's why it was, you know, honestly.

It's 2025, Natalie. I mean, yeah, co-host of Spun, LPN, Ramedy, Deep Dives, Natalie, Gene, Zabrowski. I'm glad that we're really getting into the brass tacks up top here. How you doing, Natalie? I am, okay. I had restless sleep last night because one of my dogs

is limping. She did not, she wasn't using her back leg all day yesterday. Oh, no. And so I was very nervous all night. She's still not using it. It's Karmie. No, but Karmie lives for the dramatics.

There's no way she's just being dramatic. I mean, that's true, but it's now been like almost 24 hours of her not used. Man, you guys love taking Karmie to the vet. She goes to the vet. You love taking her to the vet. She's always begging. I will say Karmie, she loves her. You know, if she can get up on that counter, she's going to eat all the ground sausage.

She can find her. Also have been sprayed twice by skunk in the face. Recently. Twice. Oh my God, MJ, you had to have seen. So we're at the Surfer Burr, right? Natalie and I, just a couple weeks ago. For the uninitiated.

For the uninitiated. We went to Fantastic Starfall Ball. And it was after a long day of doing a bunch of like cosplay and we did a show and it was wonderful. It was all about monster fucking and we were having fun. At the end of the night, Henry calls Natalie. and of course I'm smoking a joint out front because I was like, Natalie, you got to stand with me

while I smoke this joint because we're in the tenderloin and I'm scared of doing it by myself. So Natalie was standing with me and then she receives a call from Henry. It's like midnight. Yeah, he was really, really upset. But here's the best part about when a sister hears a brother upset phone call at midnight,

man, I just laughed and I laughed and I laughed and I laughed because he was so upset because Karmie got skunked again. The second time. I thought you, Natalie, had gotten skunked. Not that it's better. that your dog got skunked, but maybe it is. Natalie,

you get out of here. I wish you would have said something. My house smells like there's a skunk in it a lot, if you know what I'm saying. Yeah, your husband. My husband. But, yeah, I do chase the skunks around, you know, so surprisingly I have not been skunks.

She's a hobby that you share with Karmie. Yeah, we do it together. It's a bonding exercise. Oh, it gets skunked with mother. Oh, this one will always. Wanting skunkings with mother. You know, I noticed that Wendy, the perfect child, never gets skunked. We've never taken her to urgent care, never taken to her an emergency vet situation.

She's never seen a doctor. Yeah, no. She sees her vet. She sees her vet. This is the best thing about having animals who are siblings. You can compare them to each other. And we can't do that with our human children. Wait.

When did that stop? I was told all the time I was better than Henry by my mother, you know? You've got to be created. We're breaking cycles now, Jackie. But my children are such cycle breakers that they won't even let us compare the cats to each other. They're like, what if they can understand English and they hear you saying that one of them is smarter than the other? And I'm like, you guys, the best thing about having cats is you can like be really mean to them with your words. We're using nice, you're cuddling them and kissing them.

And you're saying like, oh, you're such a dumbass, you know. But you can't do that now because the kids are too mindful. Oh, these parents are. You can't even call him a dumbass anymore. You're not even supposed to give him whiskey anymore. How are you supposed to get him to sleep? What are the next generations of bullies going to be like? Oh, God.

Yeah. I'm sure they still exist. I'm sure they exist and maybe a terrifying way, MJ? I think it's all on the phones. I think that's the problem. Like social media? Unknown calling. I think it is this.

I, you know, I'm adopting a couple of radical views over here. One of them is that we need to abolish child acting. and I do think unfortunately we need to throw all phones into the sea and all child acting needs to be done by adults a la Shakespeare. Put a wig on. I agree. I don't want to see the kids. MJ and I are currently reading Allison Stoner's autobiography seemingly something,

which is well adjusted despite literally everything. It's seemingly well adjusted despite literally everything. Thank you so much, MJ. That is. And Allison Stoner was. was a child actor. They were the white kid dancing and the Missy Elliott work at video. Oh, I know.

And they now identify as non-binary. So they wrote this book that we are currently reading. And if there's one thing after we also read Jeanette McCurdy's book that we, that MJ and I really, you know, I don't want AI taking over jobs, you know. I don't want it coming in and trying to be like, oh, you make LPN Funhouse. let me make LPN Funhouse, which I'd love to see them try. I don't think that they could. But honestly, can we just put some AI on like a big person? And then you just, oh, now it's a kid?

You don't even need AI. You can use just digital artists to do it. Great. If we could do that, that would be awesome. Because it seems like what's insane is that it's not good for kids. And it seems like even though people keep trying to have systemic change, which I know it's come very far than 30 years ago, but it seems like it's still,

the business is a little bad for people out there. Dude, I, you know, like on my other show, MJ, I rail against child exploitation all the time. Why? Specifically, I know, I'm like, blah. Yada, yada, yada. Oh, God, and boring. And specifically with influencers, right?

Yes, yes, yeah. Yeah, so child actors at least have like a little bit of, people watching out for them and some things, some, you know, laws that have been put in a place to protect some of their rights. But it's still not enough. So the kids who are doing the lot, like the family vlogging from their homes are literally being, like they are human trafficked by their parents. They are exploited in every imaginable way. And so yes, I think that should all be illegal. And in other countries, you know the ones, now do you know because there's the Utah law? I think about that. You know, you know,

in your advocacy around this, Natalie, because there's the Utah law now that if they're using their kids, they have to share the money with them. And you know what they're all doing? They're not using their kids anymore because they don't want to share the money with them. Surprise. Or the worst ones are moving to another state.

Oh, my God. Now, yeah, skirt around those laws. That's how you do it. You know, there's lots of things being skirted around. Like, I guess I'm going to talk about the life of a showgirl now. That is what I'm getting into. We are going to talk a little bit about Taylor Swift. with a person who dis, I guess I can't speak for you, Natalie,

dislike Taylor Swift? No, I have zero opinion of her. Okay. As a billionaire, how do you feel about her? There's no winning. We're having an opinion. I'm going to tell you that right now. It's a lose-lose situation.

No matter what you say, yeah. I don't think billionaire should exist. Yay. Or do you think that it's great, you know, okay, so guys, I'm just going to go ahead and already say out the gate that Holden McNeely is going to be joining us for second helping, this week because he needs a place to put his review of Taylor Swift. And I can't wait.

Listen, like, you know, inside all of us, there are two animals. Oh, big wolves. Oh, yeah. One that really wants to love Taylor Swift and one that really wants to hate. I think, I mean, that's not the same two wolves inside all of us, but I have a wolf who is a lover and I have a wolf who is a hater. And so you will get all sides here on page seven. And I am the exact center of feeling nothing for her.

This is perfect because I wanted to get a couple of, and I'm saying this four-hour Swifties out there, a couple of negative things out of the way before we bring Holden on on Thursday. And I thought, well, this is perfect. Natalie will be fun to, you know, shit on a billionaire with. I think it's one of all of our favorite things to do. So it is crazy to me. And I know that Taylor Swift does this with every problem. I'm not even saying that like, this is a shit album or this is a perfect album. I'm not saying any of those things.

Yeah. But one thing out the gate that really does, and I think that people are starting to get more and more annoyed with it, is that with her albums, she releases more songs after the albums for you to buy, like, the extended album for you to buy. But this time around, she has eight acoustic songs that are not on the, album and if you want those eight acoustic songs you have to buy four separate CDs that she is selling because each one has two of the special acoustic songs. So if you want all of them, you have to buy all four CDs. Compact discs in this hour lord 2025 because the

bitch is making money everywhere. So I just want to start on. with something positive, which is that, um, first of all, the two people who I love the most who love Taylor Swift, both like the album, both like the album, is one of those people. And so if you love the album, I'm very happy for you. Also, shout out to the person. I'm not sure. I'm not shitting on the album. I'm not even shitting on the album. Lyrical analysis of why it's not good. People, there is a lot of opinions out there about the album. But yes, in terms of this specific practice, I just to start off with the positive thing, I like how much Taylor brings an album experience to a streaming world.

Four and a rose. Okay. All right. That's cool too. I agree. I think there's like a cool element to that in theory. Yeah. Like most,

and I know other people are putting out albums, obviously. Like Sabrina puts out album. Like there, it's not that Charlie and Sabrina and all the others aren't putting out albums, but it's like Taylor really makes it an album experience. And I think for people our age who fell in love with music,

it was like you go get the compact disc, you get the liner notes. You sit down with the liner notes and you read the lyrics and you listen. And that's like so. What a wonderful experience. And I love that for people. And so I just want to start off with that positive thing. But then too, then also she's just, because it used to be, oh, now you get to get the expanded version with all the vault whatever's.

I'm not even going to use the right words because they all have their own, there's the vault tracks and there's the whatever's. But it used to be like you can get the special version and then you could get the special version. But now it's like you need four special versions. I'm not against the special version. But prior to the album's release, there were 24 different versions available for pre-order. So this includes, but here's the thing. For a lot of people who gives a fuck, you're just going to buy, you're either going to buy the album or you're not going to buy the album. But for a lot of Swifties, you know, with the 24 difference, this includes like every, like there's different standout colors for the vinals, different artworks on the covers, different exclusive copies.

content on the vinyl, like inside of the vinals. I, you know, I am not here. You know, we just did the seemingly just Allison Stoner book, celebrities. And at the end of it, talking a little bit about how they have created an online platform to help people navigate with their young children through the business, and it's $400 for the online course. I'm not against a person that has been fucked over by the system that is like, well, I'm trying to make a business for myself. And I am trying to help people, but also trying to keep myself afloat at the same time.

Is the business, is the course just don't do it? A conveyor going to call for the parents to go inside like a chipper. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Turn them into woodchip and then we're like all the kids become the guinea pigs and they piss and shit all over the parents. And then it's healing in a way. Okay, great. Like, I think it's because of absorption, I'm going to say. Yeah.

But I, uh, $400 to just get a letter that says, don't. Don't, yeah. Therapy and deal with your shit. Yeah. Sounds like you might have problems. But no, that's not true. A lot of, there are some kids out there that like, beg for it, beg for it, beg for it. And, um, I don't know if I would want to see those children of mine smiling ever again.

I think I'm going to say you're not because you're never going to smile if you choose this business. You're never going to smile. And so it's like, I. you know, get that, get that chatter. Everybody's got, this is the world we live in. You get, you, like, this, you know, it is, there's, we live in a subscription model right now. This happened before our eyes on page seven. I still remember the conversation that Holden and I had with Jackie in 2019, where Holden was like,

I think soon it's just going to be subscriptions and like maybe the bubble will burst. And that was 2019, right? So like, but, yeah, I feel like, like Taylor is doing this, like the ultimate, I was complaining to Jackie because, right, I follow a lot of parent. influencers. And I am trying to follow not the ones who show their kids anymore because it's so creepy and invasive. But I do follow the ones that claim to give advice. Right. And sometimes those people are really helpful. But then also sometimes something becomes, you're like, is this a grift or is it a cult or both? And I am like, I'm like, I understand I am part of a cult

that is like this one parent advice person that I think I call her a cult. And she's great. she's very smart, but I, for a while, I was like, I'll follow you every word. And then you have to get to the point as a parent where you're confident and yourself enough that you're like, okay, I don't need to follow your every word. But anyway, point being, it's like, sign up for this, sign up for this webinar. I'm going to do on this one thing. And then you do that. And you're like, sign up for this monthly subscription service. And then you can access all my webinars.

And you're like, all right. And then it's like, and sign up for this AI chat bot that anytime you're having a hard time with a parent. With a parenting issue, you can talk with a chat button. And I'm like, I'm not going to. And that's the point where you're like, I see what's happening here. And then you're like, oh, I'm part of like a Mary Kay Ponzi scheme now. Wow. You know, and I feel.

You get sucked in so easily. And I mean, she's not making me sell things to other people, but it's like, slippery slow. It's so quickly, exactly, from like, oh, this person is actually getting really helpful, useful advice. And they need to figure out how to make money. And the way we do it on Instagram is to just monetize everything. And so I feel like looking at Taylor, it's like you are trying to get. you're trying to get your audience who's already giving you so much of their money for your concert tickets, for your albums, and now you're trying to get them to give you every cent they have for every last little collector.

And like it just feels like squeezing blood from a stone. Let the tailor people keep some of their savings, you know? Yes. Question, though, and I have no idea what the answer is, is she beholden to a lot of companies who are maybe forcing those choices? No. Okay. I think this is her, I think that this is her ambition. I believe this is her is what it seems like is that it is all directed from her.

She is like, which is honestly, I mean, hash that girl boss. You know, it's like, I know it is very, she girl boss too close to the sun. Excuse me, Jackie. That is a lyric from the album. Oh, God, what is it? Oh, what is the line of the uniqueness of, um, oh, wait. And I have like a toxic case of unique. I have been afflicted.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm laughing. We're getting it out today, guys. We have to get it out. Okay. I have been afflicted by a terminal uniqueness is one of the lyrics on the album.

And then the other lyric is, did you girl boss too close to the sun? And I will say that I. That's already, it's, she didn't make that phrase up there. Man, everybody in this studio, the look on there. I'm just, oh, okay. I feel, you know, actually, it's interesting she's dating a football player because I have the exact same feelings when people start talking about football, which is just glazing over.

Like, I'm not mad and I'm not excited. I just feel like I'm in some sort of stasis. I don't know. Like, it just washes over me. Yeah, I get that. I would say, like, you were saying MJ about the slippery slope of it all. It's like, I love, is it. I love physical media.

Of course, I grew up, I'm a millennial. I love collecting things. But there is a point where then you're just creating waste. Like you're just, what? Yeah. You want to sell 24 versions of something to people. What are they, it's going to go. We're going to trash.

What are we doing it? Just do one or two or whatever. But yeah, that's too many. It's just, it's, you know, it's fascinating to watch that I feel like there are so many people, though, that are just so in love with her that they're like, we don't care. And it's that blind faith that is, I know I shouldn't say it's scary. It's creepy. Because, you know, it is something that she's cultivated and it is, I know that there's a lot of beauty to be found in the community of fandom. Absolutely. But I also know that there are times when sometimes it can supernova

to an extent. And sometimes, you know, you come up with something like the first, the world's first hot ice cream. I was hoping you would segue to this, Jackie. Thank you. Is the moneymaker because don't worry, guys, if you were wondering, if, now Natalie, I don't know if you're aware, I've been low-key obsessed with Tyra Banks ever since I read Model Land. Of course. And if for those of you... Of course, it's the first thing I know about it. Yeah. Everybody's thinking about it. And if you want to hear me read Model Land while I read it for the first time, it is over on Jackie's book club from years ago.

so you'd have to go back to, I think, 2020. And I became obsessed with Tyra Banks because she's, I mean, absolutely bad shit. I've never looked into it to an extent of like, I'm not talking about like mental health-wise. All I know is that she, she cray. She makes a Maddie Pixie Dream Girl to the max. Uh-huh. Yes. Yes.

She makes choices. She makes choices. And one of the choices was she was trying to do an immersive model land experience like two years ago. and I really wanted to get tickets, but I think tickets were like $300 each or something for like a, you walk in and you can pose on the runway and then it's like all stupid things. But one thing I remembered was that Tyra Banks started selling Smy's ice cream. Yeah. It should be yes, called Smy's cream and it's not.

It's crazy, though, because of all of the fat phobia from the world of Tyra Banks that she's so supportive of an ice cream. cream business, especially how fatphobic, even the book Model Land, which was supposed to be a zany book was. But now she is, and maybe this is too egomaniacal here for me. But I feel like she is starting to come at the savory pudding business of Henry and I, because now she's trying to be like, I'm creating the world's first hot ice cream, which I'm to throw it out there sounds like sweet soup. And I feel like that's great for some.

I don't know if I need sweet soup my life, but here's the thing, I know that not everybody needs savory pudding in their lives, but that's because their life is empty. Oh, my God. And you don't even realize you're missing it. Do you remember the soup cough drops? Oh, chicken soup cough drops? Suck off some soup was the phrase that you came up with. Oh, I'm going to suck on some soup.

ass suck on some soup now that's been replaced with her say her her caption for this post you've licked it cold now sip it hot you've I mean kind of great though you've licked it cold now sip it hot it's kind of fun didn't she also just move to us like isn't she in australia now Sydney it's again just it seems I'm sure there's a real reason but it just seems like another thing like a zoie dashinnell would do just being like I'm moving to australia and I'm going to have hot ice cream. Yeah. That is exactly what it feels like. Not a latte, not a hot chocolate, but your favorite scoops transformed into liquid, period, hot, period, ice cream, period, sippable baby. I, yeah, shout out to it's chunky cocoa. It's chunky cocoa. That's all it is. Nina Bobina from chat sent this to me and said, is this, am I being duped here? Is this an AI scam? And I said, no, it's in the articles for this week. Jackie sent it. It's real.

And, you know, Nina said, I just don't want to be living in this timeline. It sounds like hot cocoa, but there's also frozen hot chocolate, which is, that doesn't make any sense. And so, no. We're exploring. And MJ, in the email, like in the article, she's quick to clarify, this is no flavored cocoa, no gimmicky seasonal drink. This is something entirely new. Thicker than a seasonal drink, I think is what she's saying. Is that what it is?

It's like a... It's a... It's a... I do, okay, I'm going to be honest, I'm curious of the texture. Like, I would want to try it. Isn't this what she's, I feel like we were just talking last week about how actors, when they need to gain weight for a role really quickly, they like microwave ice cream and just drink it like a drink. It does seem like that. Oh, you know, oh, sorry, go ahead. No, that's, I think that that's what, I think that's what she's done and she's calling it gourmet. I do wonder if this is a sigh up in the way that the guy who, uh, the guy who,

owns heart attack grill was a doctor and it seems as though he went mad do you guys know about heart attack grill? I mean yeah but like mad like Frankenstein's doctor MJ are you aware of heart attack grill where you it's like it's all

like the waitresses are all sexy nurses and like with their titty's hanging out and it's all like this bombastic ridiculous like every meal has like seven days worth of calories in it like it's one of those kind of it's like a gimmicky place but like it's like making it sexy to have congested arteries.

Yeah, I think there was literally a gimmick that if you wait over 100, wait over 350 you got to eat for free or something. Wow. That's awesome. It was literally a heart doctor who started it. So is Tyra trying to make, try to trick all of us into getting away like al-a-mebo? Wow. Yeah, right, right, right. With the bars.

Oh, no, she is mean-girling us. She might be mean-girling us. Is this because Mean Girl Day just passed and maybe she was trying to capitalize on that? I'm going to throw this out there, though. For our down-under listeners, get your ass to Sydney because that is the only place you can get the hot ice cream. All right. And my ticket. As you're starting to chew up.

A hot place. It's getting, and it's also getting more, like this is going in a summertime there, or at least. spring into summer. So it's like, man, great time to drop it, Tyra. So smart. Love this campaign. Also, apparently if you're in Dubai, she's opening up a location in Dubai as well.

Excellent. Excellent. Yeah, no one's, I don't think anybody's ever defended her as a good person. Yeah. I mean, she's done, she done the show, the talk show, the book, the modeling career. Park ice cream. I mean, that is impressive in some capacities. Is she a good person?

No. No, definitely not. I don't even like that. They call the hot ice cream. We call it hot mama because mammas and mama figures hustle hard and deserve to indulge in a little hotness for themselves. It does sound like something a pregnancy, like a pregnant person would want. Like I would probably be more interested in that when I was pregnant. Yeah, that's okay. Chunky Coco, yeah. Chunk it down your throat. Does Tyra have kids?

I hope not. Yeah, I think she's way too self-absorbed, but that's one child. Yeah, York Banks Asia, yeah, who was born in January of 2016, but born to be a surrogacy. And that is why me, so I guess we didn't watch, we didn't watch the magic happen. You know she would have turned it into a whole thing. if she, like, I just feel like she would have made some performance art out of pregnancy if she had, you know? Honestly, I can't believe that this child is not already wrapped up in, like, multiple problems. Like, I'm surprised, like, this child doesn't have a book in them, you know? What's the kid's name?

York. York. Sorry. York. Banks. York banks. I mean, I'm not going to say it sounds like what you yell as you puke, but. York.

Yahr! I'm sorry, it's not York's fault. It's not. I had a good one of York banks kind of nights in my 20s. Oh, baby. And we don't want to go back to those days. I tell you what. Never throw up behind a building like in dumpster.

I have thrown up so many places. Natalie. Who are you talking to? Natalie, you're talking to Puk Thing 1 and Puk Thing 2 over here. Jackie almost threw up on stage on the second show of our tour. It's so weird. I wonder why you would be throwing a little. up on stage. I couldn't be because you slammed a

wine lique. Don't invoke smeared off ice's name right now. Oh, God, unless you fit in a ice me right about now. Don't just, don't you want to check your ass get cash. I will take the knee, Natalie. Anytime, that is an open door policy, Natalie. Anytime you want to ice me, I will take the knee and I will get iced. I don't want to see you throw up.

So what? Yeah, you know, you got to save them. I just honestly imagine you remembering to do this and like you icing me at like 6 a.m. at the airport. Like I feel like that's where it's like, well, you got to drink it, Natalie. I mean, you're going to have to drink it because you can't take it through TSA. I would like, I think it would be fun to do it when you're like 94 if they still make some of your ownises. Oh, you're going to make me get down on my knee at 94? Yeah, because at that point I'll be almost 100.

Yeah. And we'll be honestly, we're going to be having a great time because by then, both of our husbands will be dead. We're going to be living like a gray gardens kind of life. And it'll be honestly. And then I'll ice you then. And then you'll ice me. And then all we'll have left is icing.

And, uh, but that's kind of nice. Who wants the cake of life anyway? I try to go, I can wait for it to me just, I just want to lick it clean. I'm sorry. I'm really thinking about the you've licked it cold.

Now sip it hot is, I, although impressed by it, it does really yuck me out. Now, Natalie, I don't mean to, bring up such a sad subject, but how many times have you cried since hearing about Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban getting a divorce? Oh, please. I can't believe you brought this up. I'm sorry.

I should have trigger warning everybody. We are talking about the divorce. I just want everyone to prepare themselves. AMC has been flying their flags at half mass. I think that I've been, It's, I did want to yell, fuck you, Keith Urban, when I went to go see Wonson battles and everything's battles, battles and battles and Sean Penn in battles. Wait, is he in it?

No, no, no, no. I just saw her opening spiel and I just wanted everyone to know that obviously if I'm going to be forced to choose a side, it's going to be Nicole Kidman's. Do you think his next wife he's going to take her face over also? Oh, God, he wishes he took over Nicole Kidman's face.

The problem is that he took her hair straightener and never gave it back. And I think that that's what the main, I think that someone needs to take the paste away that he tries to razor the edge of his. I had the same haircut when I was 17 years old with the straight part. Do you think it's a wig? Flat iron. Well, we know Nicole Kidman only wears wigs. So would you, MJ, do you think maybe Keith Urban, you think? it's just a one wig pony?

I think that my... Give him some feed. I just want an explanation about his hair. And honestly, I think a wig is like one of the best explanations we're going to get. Like... Or plugs that don't... I don't know about men's hair

options. All I know is that it's very expensive and that you have to really, really figure it out, oh God, who's the guy in community that got great hair plugs? And he's always... Joel McAil. Joel. Joel McHale has always been like, because I think he got it done and it didn't take it.

It was like he lost a bunch of money because of it. And he's like, do your research. If you need a guy, I got one for you. Because his hairs. I love that he should be talking about it. Let's talk about this. Let's talk about because, you know, hair loss is something that is so shamed in our society. All genders, too.

All gender. Oh, my God. I mean, and we're not. supposed to talk about it. It's really one of those things where it's like, let them. Let them. Maybe that's my let them. Let them. You know the let them theory. It's like one of the only masculine

beauty standards that they have to compare to all the other things. Yes. And it's hard for them, Natalie. They have that one, okay? And it's rough. That's not true. They have other things. They have other things. The itchy taint. Yeah, it's like taint rashes.

Taint rashes. And then that's what they start rubbing against each other's to get rid of them friction. Yeah. It's four balls. The four balls scissor each other. It's really cute. Yeah. But how do you feel about the cocaine clause, Natalie? I saw that from you and I don't. So I, I'm not going to say he looks like a recovered addict because that would be judgmental. I mean, he is look different. But if it were to say, what is a person who did a lot of cocaine look like?

It might be him. And so was he, he's been clean or he's not been clean? He has been clean. He has been clean. He has attributed his like recovery and success to her support. And he fell off the wagon like right after they got married. And it was like a very traumatic experience for both of them, obviously. Yeah, yeah.

And especially in a new arrangement. relationship because they had only met like the year before. So it was all very new. And so I guess that's when this clause was established in, I'm assuming, their pre-up that Keith Urban would earn $600,000 for every year they were married where he remained sober. Like she would pay him? Correct. And he has been sober for 19 years. Can I ask something? Please. What does Keith Urban bring to the table in this marriage? Did you sound flat as Harris?

That is the forever question, Natalie. I have never, ever understood what he is bringing to the table. And it sounds like what he is doing is costing her money. Lots of money. And I'm super, you know, like. I'm proud of him. Hell yeah, good for you. Knights and years of sobriety.

Fuck yes. I don't believe him. I think he's lying. Whoa. Yeah. Urbanator slurb. Totally support his talking about his relationship with recovery and sobriety and everything. But it's just always been such a head scratcher of a relationship to me.

And yeah, the fact that she kind of had to essentially pay him, you know, if you want to set up your own incentive systems that work for you, I support you. But I think that if she's bankrolling his sobriety or, yeah, I don't know. This is the cocaine clause states urban's only eligible for the money if he steered clear of drugs and alcohol across their marriage. And yeah, I mean, he's got quite a high net worth, but obviously not much compared to her. So he's essentially in this divorce earned five, six, seven million dollars? Millions off of her at the very end that he gets to just take. And he just cheated on her? Well, he didn't cheat.

There's, apparently it was a slow fit, like that it has been kind of been done for a while. There's lots of speculation that he was like getting more and more upset with the kinds of things she was doing. How sexy she is. And how sexy her roles are. Issues with like, with, I mean, I imagine, which is crazy because you think, but Nicole Kidman has been Nicole Kidman forever. Yeah, it's not like she changed. Right, but I think these last years, like with her evolution that we've been watching, it seems, it created a lot of friction as well as distance in their marriage. But now he's on stage, flirtily singing to the guitar player.

And then the world is like, how dare you flirtly sing? I thought he had a girlfriend. No. Oh, okay. There's speculation. The headlines are suggesting. They're suggesting. Oh, okay.

It's not really confirmed that that's what's happening or that there was any infidelity or anything. But yeah, like, I just, I, I, I don't understand what, like, you are going to be upset that she made baby girl when she also made eyes wide shut before you met her. That's, that's, that's right. Nicole Kidman. Yeah. And yeah. Yeah. She's been hot and is strong-ass bitch since the beginning of time.

Fuck off. But this is the whole Madonna whore complex, right? If she made eyes wide, if she was a whore before you were married to her, that's hot for you. But then once you're married to her, you want her to be Madonna. You want to tame that wild horse. But also think of like the destruction, like the poor mental destruction she had gone through in the 11-year marriage to Tom Cruise. And then she's got five years and then meets Keith Urban gets wrapped up and all this. I just feel like.

That's only a five-year gap. That feels crazy to me. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because the Tom Cruise thing feels like a thousand years ago. A thousand years ago. Five years. And it also felt like it lasted a long time, but maybe that's just because we were younger.

Right. Time was different. But also, time was different. 11 years. I mean, for two celebrities to be married that long, it was like forever to us. Because I feel like they were on every magazine cover. They were really, you know, when all of that, like all the teeny bopper magazines were being shoved in our faces.

And I'm not saying that was new for us. I know that had been happening for a while. but like I feel like we were so... Every grocery store had the pictures. But also I feel like there was a part of us that I can't speak for all three of us, but I feel like there was a point in time where I was like, wow, it's like Hollywood royalty and they love each other and that like, wow, and they make things together. And I thought it was so cool until you learned the everything about the everything.

And, you know, we're all always thinking about that divorce picture of when she got her freedom and she's outside screaming. I just love Nicole Kidman. And I don't mean to wrap up more time with Nicole Kidman. I just, I think she's royalty to me. I thought when you were going to bring up, when we were talking about funky couples, you're going to bring up the other one you have on your list,

as I know what's one. It is. Funky couples. You're talking Sidney, Sweeney and Scooter fucking what's his fuck? I, you know, guys, I was trying. to create a boundary where I was like, you know what, I don't like Sidney's Weany anymore, and I don't want to speak about her anymore. I know. We kind of wanted

to just never bring her up again on the show. But I did include it. I did include it because we kind of, unfortunately, she continues to be part of pop culture. Oh, they met at the Bezos wedding. Yes, the last thing I remember. Yorked's wedding. York Banks, you know. Yeah, we're York Banks and everywhere over here.

Yeah, we're about to York Banks into that river. Oh, God. And so Scooter Braun. and Sidney Sweeney are now seeing each other and Sidney just had this big space-themed party and honestly, I was offended that she wore the Britney Spears space dress to her own space party. I was upset about it. Get her clothes off of you.

She's going through enough. It is a sick dress, I will say. I know she looks great. I know she looks stunning. I just, my, I can't, can you imagine seeing Scooter Braun and being, like, Yum.

I know. He's such a, like, there's nothing impressive about him. The quote from the New York Post is, it's very real

and he's very happy. And it's like, yeah, of course he's happy. I don't care. I want him to be happy. He's dating Sidney and he sucks.

Of course he's happy. And he still has lots and lots of money and many, many clients and many young people that he can prey on. Like, yeah, he's having a blast. But like,

she herself has so much money. What is he in him? Status. I mean, he's got a terrible reputation. But he does have a terrible reputation. Bad reputation. It's a bad reputation. Okay.

And yeah, and she got her master's back. And look at what she's doing. Okay. I just all, yeah. I was like, Denise, we mean what got her master's to me? Sorry, no, I said bad reputation and it was a TAY ref. I know I got it.

Oh, you did get my TAY ref. Don't you? Oh. roll your eyes at me, young lady. We're over here talking about yucco, Sweeney and York Banks, Brom. What does he have to offer? Like, what, it's such a good question.

I think he knows people. I think that he knows people. He knows people. He's so wrapped up in the business that he can't go anywhere. Like, he still has a lot of power. And as of right now, he's not losing any of his power. Yeah, no, I think just the simple fact that they met at the Bezos

climate crisis, this symposium is enough to just be like, yeah, you're right. You just right. I don't think you just even talk about her anymore. It's so gross, dude. I just wanted to throw it out there in case anyone was wondering about, oh, what is going on with her? She's still making really yucky choices.

And I don't think I support her visage anymore. Yeah. No, I'm over her. I'm done. We're over it. We are not getting under it. Nobody, it ain't no way, no how. And it's time for the list.

Oh, who's on the list? Me. Jackie, got to have that list. I genuinely cannot look at these 24 famous people the same way after learning these bizarre and shocking facts. It's a very annoying headline, but there's some fun, there's some fun facts on here. Like Dermit Mulroney, which Bobbo, Bobo, I'm in Trobo. Definitely. Dermann Mironi is an accomplished cello player.

He's literally featured on the soundtracks for Inside Out, Hairspray, Star Wars, and more. I'm going to go ahead and say probably not the original Star Wars. But who knows, maybe he's been a cellist since the beginning of time. That's cute. I like that. That's fun. Why do you see, are you, do you not know, remember Dermit Mloni?

I, uh, no. My best friend's wedding? Best friend's wedding. Wedding date? Yes, okay. I mean, hunting wives. Can we, please? Did I get you to watch any of hunting wives?

No. No, he couldn't. Oh, yeah. I don't even know what that is. Oh, hunting wives is a very sexy, sexy show about a bunch of conservative tricks is women, but they all sucking and fucking on each other. A lot of sucking and fucking, it's based on very sexy book. And there's been a mind.

And they got to suck each other's Pussies and they've got to figure out who came moida. Oh, okay, to help solve the murder. You have to suck it out. You don't know if they're hiding in the pussy. You got to get in there. You got to shuck it out like an oyster. The weapons inside.

Yes. Got it. Now, what about Regina Hall? She considered becoming a nun, but she was, quote, too old. She said I did consider becoming a nun. I did several times when I was in high school. And then again, when I was older, but then I was too old. I didn't know that the cutoff age for nuns is 39.

I didn't know there was a cutoff age either. Do you have to be juicy to become a nun? I don't, why can't you? Especially in this day and age, you really, you're picking, you're choosing? Yeah, they shouldn't also make it, they shouldn't make it like linked to the pressure of the biological clock. A lot of women are already trying to make a lot of decisions before they get to 39, you know? That's so weird. Let them have time to figure out those decisions and then give them another decade to decide whether or not they want to become a nun.

Why? I'm really desperately trying to quickly find why the cutoff age is 39 and I don't know what it is. My cynical brain wants to think. Yeah, because they want a juicy for Jesus. No, no, no, that too. They're juicy for Jesus, Natalie. Give it up for them. It's me thinking they don't want to support women who are elderly giving them a, quote, free ride.

Oh, just join well. Oh, just joining. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you mean? That's true. But they take their vow of poverty. They got nothing, man. If you have a 40-year-old who wants to join the convent, I say let her in.

I'm with you. But don't they at least cover their health care and stuff probably? I should hope so. I don't know what vow of poverty looks like in terms of policy. Let us know, page 7 podcast at gmail.com. I am curious. I am curious because it does to me, the cynical part of me says it's because they don't want to spend the money. to prime them older.

To care for them and give them health care and shit. Well, they got bad luck because all the nuns are old. They're all aging, you know, and they got to stay a nun forever. That's what I'm saying. You can't be begging choosers right now. No. Take what big and chewsers. Yeah, choose and begs.

You got to take what nuns you're going to get. Mm-hmm. And sometimes it's none. Now, what about Patrick Mahomes? Now, yeah, we don't really care about a ball player here, but we know about Patrick Mahomes, but did you know that he confirmed that he wears the same pair of underwear for every game he plays, and he only washes them once in a while? He says, I mean, if we're on a hot streak, I can't wash them, you know? I just got to keep rolling. As long as

we're winning, I'll keep the superstition going. Now, I am down for a superstition. I think it's fun to lean into, but doesn't, isn't that going to make crud in your penis, Adam? Will give you a crud in your penis? Oh, he says he doesn't know. He doesn't know. He's putting up his hand saying, why are you asking me? Oh, I feel like you're wearing the same sweat crunch lined underpants that that's going to stop up your gutters in some capacity, right?

Maybe all the little bugs in there help him. So you got bugs in there? Yeah, I just assume eventually they'd show up. I feel like it's like Cinderella, but it's like the bugs help him keep the underwear. Will they help them run faster or whatever we used to do in the football? Yeah, they go, run, Patrick, run. The gut microbiome for balls. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yes, all the bug ball, ball bugs. Yeah. The ball bio. Get out of here. I don't want them in my bed. That's why you make sure anybody with a penis in your bed keeps their underpants on, or else all their bug balls are going to get in your pillows. Now, speaking of creepy, Katie Perry used to carry around locks of Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus's hair in her purse.

Why? She says, one of the first times they went to the Grammys, I got to share a dressing room with Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift, and I asked them for a lock of their hair from each one of them, which is totally creepy, but awesome. I put little bows on them individually and put them in my purse, and that was my little secret, and I'm a freak. I'm a freak. Yeah. Sorry, I've had that. my head because I'm watching Nospherat too. Oh, and every time you look at that little freak's face.

I'm a freak, yeah. And my husband doesn't understand. I know you want it bad. I still sing it to myself all the time. From that weekend, Lily Rose Depp show about the ingenue and the idol. Yeah. Don't worry. We'll never forget here on page seven.

We watched every episode. and they didn't even release every episode of it. But anyway, this tracks for Katie Perry. It does. It makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. She makes me feel weird.

Like, I don't, like, I feel like uncomfortable about her in general. Yeah. Yeah. I think everybody does. I think that it's definitely gotten to a place that people aren't just, like, sloughing off her choices anymore. Yeah, I mean, I do. It's interesting the space trip was the thing that kind of,

seemed to do it because she was making a lot of other dumb choices before that. Definitely. It's just the album was really, really. I mean, that's the thing. You know, people saying a lot of shit about the Taylor Swift album, but people are still listening to the fuck out of it. Katie Perry's album was just not good. I'm not saying the Taylor Swift album, it's like, if you like it, great.

If you hate it, great. I completely understand. But that came. Yeah, I think. I mean, I listen to the whole album. I can't totally take on the perspective of a. Taylor hater because I'm truly not like fully that. Just because I can't write anything or like I can't do anything.

So I'm like, I don't know. I mean, I guess it could be good. I don't know. But it's, see, I don't even, I don't know, sound off in the comments. If you hate Taylor Swift, you just, if you're one of those people that really can't stand at what we talk about her, I still feel like objective reality puts her albums in a different category than the Katie Perry, the most recent Katie Perry album. I can even say that.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't even know. We're talking about songwriter. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I don't even know really a ton of her new songs, but I just remember the one that had the video of all the women power. It's a woman's world and you're lucky till they love them in it.

Oh, yeah, it was a woman's world and nobody wants to be in it. It's what they should change the lyrics to. But speaking of people that usually annoy people when we discuss, before becoming an actor and the Duchess of Sussex, Megan Markle was a professional calligraphist. She even wrote Robin Thick and Paula Patton's wedding invitations. Wow. Now, I bring this up just because honestly, I'm way more intrigued by the fact that she wrote Robin Thick and Paula Patton's wedding invitation. They said, you know you want it.

You know you want. And that is the marriage that ended in divorce after all that stuff happened. That's right. Blurred lines? So, yeah, blurred lines with Robin Thick. So I guess she must have known them just in the ether, just in the world of Hollywood. They got married after she was an actress. She wasn't like sitting inside of a like a, an old timey backroom doing colloquies.

Yeah, she's creaky to the touch. This is a great question, Natalie. What timeline are we talking about? Did Megan Markle do the calligraphy after we knew that Robin Thick was a creepest? Whoa. Okay, I'm looking at. I don't think we knew he was a creepest when they got married. I think that the, I think he had already been married to Paula Patton when we found out that he was.

Yeah, what year did they get married? Let's see. Everything is about his various albums. You know you want it. Okay. So he married Paula Patton in 2005. They were married from 2005 to 2015. All right.

That predates. And then he married again in 2025. Okay. He married again this year. 2005. So she was pretty young then in 2005. Yeah. She was, she was 24.

And Megan Markle was 24. So was she an actress then or she literally just randomly a calligrapher? She's always been like a jack of all trades and that's one of the things that Harry loved about her. Master of none. I mean, girl. I will say that I think that her being a calligraphist is perhaps one of the most interesting things that I have heard about her. My favorite fact about her is that she was on Nick News W5 as a kid. Do you remember that show?

Oh, yeah. She was on it as a kid. Now, okay, they got married in 2005. I'm sorry. I'm trying to figure out trying to do the sleuthing over here. Does that mean she was an actor as a kid? So that means... I don't think so.

I think she was just a concerned child about the environment. Oh, okay. Yeah, because her father served as a lighting director for general hospital. So she had a small role as a nurse in general hospital, but I wonder if that's how she knew Robin Thick through that because she had small guest roles starting in 2004. So this wasn't like, oh, she was a name at this point. Interesting.

So I don't know how they got to know each other and it doesn't say here. She claims to have publicly campaigned against the Gulf War at age nine. That's kind of fun. Well, you know, good for her. She's out there. She's doing stuff. We try, you know, we shit on her for a long time. We're trying to be nicer.

I've always been weirdly like nod as a hater of her. I think I'm supposed to hate her, but I don't know. No, I think we need somebody who likes, I think we need somebody. We don't, we recognize that our hate is an irrational. It's not like, we don't defend it. It just is. It just is. It's a lot of fair.

Yeah. And sometimes you feel that way. If you have an automatic feeling of enjoyment, I think we need that perspective here. Yes, please. And maybe you need the perspective of Ariana Grande, who claims she encountered a demon while she was on tour in Kansas City. She said, I've had a ghost demon experience.

We were in Kansas City a few weeks ago and went to this haunted castle and we're so excited. The next night, we wanted to go to Stull's Cemetery, which is known as one of the seven gates to hell on earth. I felt this sick, overwhelming feeling of negativity over the whole car. And we smelled sulfur, which is the sign of a demon.

Which is the sign of a demon. Lie in the car randomly, which is another sign of a demon. And then she said, I was like, this is scary. Let's leave. So I rolled down the window before we left and said, we apologize.

We didn't mean to disrupt your peace. Then I took a picture. And there are three super distinct faces in the picture. They're faces of textbook demons. This paragraph. Does she think demons? They just are mad because you disturb. I don't think a demon would care if you said sorry or.

No. I think a demon's going to get in your mouth if it wants to get in your mouth. Yeah, it's going to go in there. Yeah, and you're, I, you know, I love this recounting. This monologue. This of Ariata. Very casually explaining hell and demons.

Oh, which is a side of the demon. She's done so many annoying things, and this might be the most annoyed I've ever felt with her. Yeah, I felt very irritated by that. Yes, yeah, yeah. And I think maybe this is just like a preemptive nod towards whatever PR we're on slot we're about to receive because of the second wicked that is going to be coming out in six weeks from now. I was going to have a new scandal. I was excited.

No, I mean, are they going to have to drum up a scandal? Because obviously her and SpongeBob was a showmance. And they are obviously not together anymore. Are they not? I don't think it's official. I know. But he's been giving it. There's been a lot of TikToks about it because he gave an interview where he was kind of referring to their,

he gave a red carpet interview where he was referring to their relationship as like in the past. And then she was at, what was it, the VMAs recently and without him with just her family. Was it the one where she was like fawning over the Aussie performance guy? Maybe. I try not to listen to what she says. No, yeah. The speaking, the singing part of it, I'm down with, you know. Very talented.

Oh, sure. I'm not even like trying. Even the acting part of it, very talented. She was, there was like a younger guy who I'm not going to remember his name, but he was like a protege of Ozzy and then him. And I think Stephen Tyler came out and did it Aussie songs. Steven Tyler, BJs. And they just kept cutting to Ariana who seemed to be really into it. And I'm not, maybe that's not appropriate for me to say.

She was looking flirtatiously out of him, but maybe just. because I connect her to Pete Davidson and he seems like a Pete Davidson kind of guy. Ah, gotcha. Oh, his Youngblood. Youngblood. Youngblood. Okay.

And Stephen Tyler. And yes, there's those. This has been well documented. If anyone wants to go look at her facial expressions during this tribute. And also, yeah, apparently Ethan Slater has mended his relationship with the mother of his child that he left right after she had a child for Ariana Grande. So, girl, don't,

don't mend your relationship. They've mended their relationship. What does that mean mended? Does it mean their, what does that mean? I don't know, but it's complicated, MJ. Oh,

it's all complicated. Is it? Or is it just basically he banned her for pop star? And then realized that Ariana was never going to stay with him and then went back to her. I,

you know, who knows? All I hope is that his ex gets the best of all of this. I hope that she receives only goodness and I feel very bad.

for what she had to go through. But, you know, we're not here to rip apart young love. No. My mother, my grandmother, my sister, my mother, my sister. We're here to Jack Nicholson. It up. Jack Nicholson was raised by his grandmother, Ethel May, who he'd believed was his mother.

Nearly four decades later, Jack learned that the person he thought was his sister June was actually his mother. And she was only 18 when she gave birth to Jack. He only learned this after a Time magazine researcher called him to confirm details for an upcoming story about him. That's a brutal way to find out. Yeah. Jack Nicholson in our book, you know, has done some lots of dicey things in the past, but that's crazy.

Yeah, that's really sad. But I think, unfortunately, not super uncommon in that time period. Because, God forbid, an unwed mother exists. Disgusting. Ew. No, I'll turn into a ghost and then I'm going to come after Ariana. Yeah. Yeah, and I'm like, I'm the fly in your car.

Slitting you in your mouth. Am I so far? But it was just, I was just trapped underneath her car gripping with my fingertips. Now, famously a sign of a demon. I'm just going to keep thinking. Famously a sign of a demon. Famously a sign of a demon. And I don't need to say it again here, but I just want to always remind people when I see it on lists that Fran Dresher

claimed that she was abducted by aliens who put a chip in her head. She said the same thing happened to her ex-husband, Peter Mark Jacobson, and I'm not saying that maybe she blames the chip on the fact that her ex-husband came out as homosexual. She hasn't, but I would love it if that is the lore that's in her brain of like, well, if those damn aliens hadn't put that chip in your brain, then maybe it'd be a little less homosexual. But they are still very good friends.

I don't, I feel like are we off the, unfortunately off the, isn't she priority? Israel? I think I'm going to say that I think that I haven't, I know, I don't bring this. No, no, I honestly, I'm going to throw it out there. I haven't looked too far into it. I'm pretty sure we don't like friend Drecher anymore. Yeah. I think she's like super pro. And also she was super anti-vax. Her politics, she's one of these ones where she was really good about the unions. And you're like, yeah. And then she says something else and you're like, oh, you know, like sometimes a celebrity is like you have no idea what's going to It's like the Bet Midler's.

It's like, put the X down. And I'm not talking about ecstasy. If it were ecstasy, I'd say pop it up to your lips. But outside of that, I don't want to hear it. Leave me with beaches. Too late. Okay, they can't take my beaches. They're not taking beaches for me.

Also, my ambiolic is another one. Oh, yeah. It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. We don't need Blossom anymore. No, we can bless and release Bloss. Yes. We can still love the nanny's outfits and not love for politics.

I don't follow Brand Fine Fashion Instagram account. So do I, but I stopped following Fran Drescher. No, I'm not following Fran Dresher, man. Yeah. Anyway, yeah, I just wanted

to just say to everybody that, yeah, I think, you know, I don't know why I'm making up the fact that she's probably come up with some sort of chip lore in her brain, but how do you not? I'm sorry I took it to a much more

intense place. Oh, that's okay. I know, I just, you know, it's good. You think we don't get yelled at in the comments. We get yelled at about it. Just yell at me, everybody. You can come to my comments and yell at me. But it's also, you know, we are doing a show about celebrity gossip in a very interesting time period in our reality.

And, you know, guys, we're just, we try to keep it. You guys are doing a great job. Thank you. Thank you. You know, and that's why, why do you think we talk about snacks and why do you think we talk about other things? and just try to keep it and escape. But it's good to know and we need to know these things. Don't be sorry, Natalie.

I thank you, Natalie. I'm Christ absolving you. No, you're already booked again, so you can't run away. We couldn't keep you away if we wanted to. I couldn't even go into the spreadsheet to see if you're booked because I seem to be losing my eyesight. Oh, God, no. I think I'm going. Blind!

Items. Oh, we can't see them. are you ready, Natalie? Yeah. All right. So I'm not going to, I can't, this is for Jackie. And it might be for you too, Natalie. I just don't know if you have, I don't know.

We're going to find out if this is for you. But I had to do it because it's very exciting for, if you are familiar with the franchise I'm about to talk about. Okay. This very, very recent Emmy winner slash nominee and her husband were working hard this weekend to pick up a third for a threesome. Okay. So how do I give hints about this? It is...

So do we know both sides of the couple? The other person appears to be famous, but I had never heard of him until today. Let's see what his story is. The main thing is if you have watched the show that she just won the Emmy for, you love it. You love the show.

Unless you're a medical worker, you might be slightly annoyed by it. No, not hacks. They had a great night at the Emmy. Is it about the best? Oh, the best. Yes. Okay, but wait, you said husband.

Well, who's the wife. The wife and the husband are both trying to have a threesome. But it's the wife who won the Emmy. Oh, okay. Oh, damn it. I thought, I'm sorry. I was just vibrating into next week thinking about Noah Wiley. Girl, you're going to keep vibrating.

Are you talking about the charge nurse? I'm talking about the Chargers, Catherine LaNassa. Gouche, Goose, Goose, Goose, Goose, Goose, Gouz. Catherine LaMasse and her husband, whose name is Grant Show, who appears to be a Hallmark actor. He's been in a couple of, not only a hallmark after, he's been in a movie called Right Before Christmas from 2019. He saved a bunch of different Christmases? Oh, yeah, very much like a Hallmark movie. Wanasa, Catherine La Nasa, husband.

Catherine La Nassah and then her husband is Grant Show. Oh. Oh, I can see trying. Oh, they are over here. They see you from across the bar and they like your vibe. Yeah, I can see that. Oh, they love your vibe. And I like their vibe.

And I will be your third, Catherine La Nassah. Now, Natalie, I will throw this out there as a yinzer yourself. Yeah. Did you watch any of the pit? I have not, but I have heard that medical professionals actually think it's a pretty good representation. Very good representation. Now, I will throw it out there. Apparently not a great yinzer.

representation according to a one Sina. Oh yeah, I don't think they're going to get any of that. Because my mom was a nurse in Pittsburgh for for years. Did she watch the pit?

I actually don't think she does. She probably was wanting to not talk hospital stuff anymore. Yeah, yeah, I bet. But I, like, the charge nurse, like Catherine Lanasa is unbelievable and we did

sadly ask Sina. I was like, but what about her inser accent? And he went, no. No, no. No. He's like, it was too classy. He's like it wasn't, he's like, honestly, he's like, if that was a real pit ER, they'd all be screaming at each other and everybody will be drunk. And I just, you know, I was just wondering as the only other yinzer that is in this studio if you felt the same.

I'm going to. And also, sorry, real quick, we also got an email from somebody who is a health care worker in Pittsburgh. And you're right, Natalie, that most health care workers said it's a really great representation. They love it. But also this one health care worker in Pittsburgh said, or their husband is a health care worker. care worker when they said that the filming shut down the actual hospital like the actual hospital so it's like one could use the hospital so they should be grateful for the figure it out go somewhere else yeah i don't know figure it out go to a pockin lot i wonder which one they shot in because there are many very famous hospitals in pittsburg yeah i don't know if they shot my mom's was presby oh give it up thank you, thank you nurses. Thank you for everybody that works at the hospitals. Thank you. I know that's what you were here waiting for, right, for us to thank you. Where's the pots? Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Um, yes. And I think that they, I think that technically the hospital was still open. I think there was just like a lot of like roadblocks to get into this. So in any case, a lot of grumpy people in the way.

Tricky. tricky to do the very good representation of hospital work, but to block the actual hospital. But, okay, here we go. Blind number two. Legacy. media knows better than to give the A plus list singer less than amazing reviews. Outlets who haven't lose access and get shut out. Kiss the ring and you will be fine. Be honest and pay for it. Whoa. Are we talking about the dragon herself, Taylor Swift? Yeah, sorry Blake.

Yeah, we're talking about one of your dragons here. Blake lively referred to Taylor Swift as one of her dragons in the trial with Justin Baldone. What does that mean? That she was happy. she'll set her drunk and saw it. It was very annoying. It makes it honestly, I,

the reason why I think about it and lives rent free in my head is because it annoys me so desperate. Like she was saying like Taylor was like a hitman? Like if Jackie needed help and somebody was being mean to her and she was like, I'll send my dragon after you. But the dragon is Natalie. You know,

like it's like my bestie. And Natalie will you go after MJ? Go after MJ right now, Natalie. MJ has wronged me, Natalie. Go after them. I don't want to be a dragon. Oh, no. I want to be a different thing.

You could be like a unicorn. No, you don't get to be DeNaris. Oh, no, I don't want to be DeNarres either. I want to be Coldrago. I want to be an otter. Okay. Oh, yeah, I don't know if that's a part of it. Huff said by otters are a game of rocks.

And you would be at least a meet cupboard for Jackie. Watch out. The otter is coming for you. And they're just like playing and holding hands and sleeping. It's cute. And you come and you get close to them and they gnaw, you're fear. You don't say anything to mean about Jackie. All right. And line number three, I was having a tough time. There was two that I was

having a hard time choosing from, but I'm choosing this one because the wording is so funny. Ooh, okay. The stands of this foreign-born former A-plus list rapper slash lover of pettos slash lover of killers are convinced that she's going to sue the rapper. She has been beefing with. She won't. Yes. Lover of pettos, lover of killers. Lover of pettos. Lover of killers. It's like, yeah, that sounds, well, unfortunately it's right. It is. Oh, and don't get in a beef with Cardi B, man.

She will win. She is just so good at fighting. He is, man, just, I like Cardi better. I, of course. Also, which is a scary thing is right? But I am in her camp. It is crazy how much they're like bringing the kids into it. Yeah, I really like that.

And honestly, yeah. We shouldn't even, I'm sorry to York Banks. It's not. York's York banks. I'm sure you're awesome. When Cardi told Nikki Minaj to go to Chuckie cheese

to be with her child, I was like, that's such a good insult. You're such a bad parent. You should be at Chuckie cheese with your child. You just cannot lose. You can't win, I mean, to Cardi. Nikki was getting really gross about like insulting the child.

Like, Nikki, she clearly is not well. Yeah. So she goes through these phases where I don't think it's an act. I think she is truly spiraling out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I think that's right. I think that's right. And I think Cardi B. conversely is like very wise and careful and calculated. And I think that's why I'm saying it's like it's feel it's not an unfair fight. They're both good at fighting, obviously.

But yeah, I just feel like I just have such faith in Cardi B to win whatever fight she ever starts. Yeah. Also, Nikki, like I don't know the entire story of all. of the stuff that she that's happened but I she has like been supportive of that files right like that is a real thing yeah so that's kind of a deal breaker for me I don't know that's a crazy whoa wait out oh stick up your ass over here didn't even realize leto petos lover of killer Nicki Minaj but you know I'm sorry I can see again welcome back to the world of the seeing that is I mean those are great blind items and Natalie even though you weren't

a pittist still got in there and I appreciate it. A pittist? Yeah, watching the pit. Oh, oh, oh, oh. And maybe do you not watch it because it makes you think of your mom so much? No. Yeah, I don't want to think about her at work. What she did for us.

No, I just have not started a show in a long time. You guys usually watch your movie watchers more so than television watchers. That and also, well, Henry doesn't like TV shows. It is the funniest blanket statement from my brother. Every time he says it, I'm just like, I feel like this is. is like the year when I said I don't like pork chops. I feel like I went through a time buried where I was like, I hate barc tops. I've never eaten a pork chop.

When I, that wasn't true, I just think that I, I don't know, I just wasn't in the mood for it. You just wanted to have a thing. Yeah. And that was my things that I don't eat forage chops. And which is good because pigs are smart. They are so smart. But, yeah, that's, you know. He doesn't, he likes to watch a one-off.

And to me, I think it's fun to get into a show and know where you're going to watch at the end of the night instead of going like, which thing so much. You on. Yes, I hate that part. Oh, what are we going to watch? So I've been having such a blast with Hannibal because I'm like, good, three solid seasons of good hour-long episode. Ah, good.

Back when television was television. Um, sorry, guys. I'm not here talking about television. I should be here snacking. Yeah, Snackin. It's time for Jackie Snackies. I've been a snackie girl. Snacky.

I've been a snackie. Girl, snacky, I've been a snacky, girl, snacky, I've been a snacky, snacky, snacky. Is somebody gonna eat those chips? Is somebody gonna dip those dips? Is somebody gonna try those candies? I got seminar. They say, I'm a snack lead. I forgot you were gonna bring up the other, sorry.

The hotel one, just because I've stayed at that hotel, and I felt a ghost in it. Wait, which hotel? The thing you put in the link, $5,000 stay. Oh, the Vegas. Oh, the Vegas Hotel. I know. Oh, my God. Wait, you've stayed there?

Do you think it's haunted? The only reason I was going to mention it is because I have stayed there a couple times and that hotel was one of the only times in my life where I felt something watching me in a room and it did not feel like a person. We're talking about the El Cortez Hotel in Las Vegas because Vegas's oldest casino is offering thrill seekers $5,000 to spend a night hunting ghost. among its gaming tables. And man, if that doesn't have LPN written all over it,

I don't know what does. You ghost hunting in Vegas? Uh, how are you going to do that at Simeon table? I mean, you can't do that at gaming table. Yeah, people would be passed out in their own piss, but it'll be fine. Be like, is that the ghost? Like, did the ghost piss all over them?

No, no, no, that's just their addiction. I mean, but they also just have FBI level surveillance cameras and all those places. How are you going to, like, aren't you supposed to be a dog? Doesn't show up on the cameras, Natalie? And also, I don't think that people are going to want you, like, standing behind them looking at their cars. Oh, yeah, yeah. I guess, yeah, that's probably going to be annoying.

I, there's no way they're going to, like, shut down a section. Maybe they'll shut down a section. I don't know. But I will say, I don't feel like I experienced ghost or supernatural things. I wish that I did. But that was one of the only times. I wasn't thinking about anything spooky. And in that hotel room, I felt like something was looking at me.

Wow. Glad that we're in this place. A guy in the wall. I don't know. It probably was someone, like, because the real problem is always man. We've learned that on Buffy. It's not usually the hell mouth.

It's man. That's the problem. But speaking of being haunted, do you want to be haunted in your mouth? That's a scary thing to say. I looked her right in her eyes and said it, and it was a scary thing. And Natalie, the fact that you didn't go running from the room

means we've really gotten to know each other. Now, Natalie, these are, this is going to be very difficult, okay? Natalie, I have found that there are this year, for some reason, three different kinds of Kit Katz. And I don't think anybody has asked for it. But I have thrown it out there.

Really, pulling a Taylor Swift. I'm being a little Tay over here. I love getting like the Macha Kit Katz at a world market. Like I love getting, because in other places, they really fuck with Kit Katz a lot more than we fuck with Kit Katz here. And they're doing a great job. So I wanted to see the American way of fucking with a kid cat. And I wanted to find out which one is the best one,

and I'd love for you to mowedly help me, Natalie. Are you scared? Uh, not scared as much as hesitant. Okay. Now, we have Breaking Bones. We have witches brew. We have ghost too. I'm not to know which flavor's there.

No, which one do you want? I'm going to go for which. It's the Witches Brew. I'm opening up the Ghost's Toast. And the best part about a Kit Kack, you snap them in half so I can eat one side and you can eat the other side, Natalie. It's like we're going to eat spaghetti mouth fucking. Oh, God. I'm sorry.

It's the snacky section. I get too excited and I don't know what to do with myself. All right, Witches Brew. Strange brew Oh, and she don't like it What are we given? Oh, that face. I wish everybody could see this face.

It tastes like a child. Thank you. It's like lucky charm marshmallows, but which is sugaryer. Oh my God, you're so right. Because Witch's Brew, I was wondering if you were going to be able to taste it. Witch's brew is marshmallow-flavored Kit Katz. And it does taste like, man, my teeth.

Yeah, it's like, wow. Zing, zang, I'm filled with tang. That is, um, it tastes like you, yeah, you ate a whole, like you shove, like you pulled all of the marshmallows out of. of the, what is it? Lucky charms. And are just shoveling them into your mouth. If you love those, you love the witch's brew. Yeah.

No, Natalie, let's get into a ghost toast. Ghost toast to you, cheers. Cheers. It's still insanely sugary, but it's more at my alley. This is way more. It tastes like cinnamon toast crunch. It tastes like cinnamon toast. I don't know why they taste like cereal, but they do.

It's weird that they taste, wait, is the third one going to taste like cereal too? Is this a cereal-based Kit Kat challenge that we don't even know that the Mars company is going through? What's this one? This is breaking bones. Breaking bones? I mean, I did break the bone in half. So this is, they all come in the same box, the different Halloween ones, or you have to get different boxes? No, they didn't tailor us. No, you could get them all in one box back. Okay, good. This does taste like, I'm trying to think of what it tastes like. You know, in comparison

to the Witch's Brew and the Ghost Toast, the Breaking Bones, the least flavorful of the three. I mean, we'll throw that out there. Okay. It is not quite as apparent up top, but it makes sense once you find out that it is vanilla flavored. And that

is a little boring for my taste. It does. It tastes like, um... But I love vanilla, but this vanilla is a little vanilla. It tastes like a little wafer, actually. That's what it tastes like. It tastes like vanilla wafer. It tastes like vanilla wafer, especially with the cookie crunch in the middle of it.

Three, I'm going to be real with you, Natalie. I didn't think that I was going to distinctly, I thought marshmallow and vanilla and cinnamon toast crunch, I thought we're going to be too similar of palettes. No, they're all quite different. They're very different. Actually, surprisingly different. I would not eat them again. Ever again? Probably not.

If I had to choose, I would say the cinnamon one. The cinnamon one, for sure. And I'm glad because actually that one I did get a whole bag of because I was hoping that I was going to like it. Oh, good. And I'm going to share it and I'm going to have everybody in the office be forced to try one. Oh, we can take them to the pay fare too. Oh, my God, that's a great idea. Don't be a fade.

I'm, uh, I've got, I'm continuing my, are you done with your snackies, Jackie? Are you grabbing for more? I have snacked. You've snacked. Okay. Sorry, no, I was just blowing my nose. I am continuing my streak of eating the, the Buckees snacks sent to me by

Wonderful Tinderella from the Texas Roadside Emporium that is Bucke's. And Tinderella, I'm bringing my Bucky's snacks for Holden on Thursday! I am so enjoying this snack box, but I'm saving everything to try on the air. So I am going to be eating also candy. Usually I eat chips, but today it's candy. Whoa.

Chimoy peach rings. Oh, yeah. Chimoy candy is delicious. I love a chomoy candy. Spicy, candy. Also, if you eat chips, cheese, but today. Also, if you eat chips, cheese, cheese, ever fret because chumoi candy

can sometimes be very expensive if you're getting it like I think of more like homemade at cons it's actually very easy to make yourself if you look up little recipes and oh my god the chumoi covered fruit gushers oh we got some mango candy

that was uh chumai cover that was so mama me all right MJ this is so fucking good dude yes give me all right once it so it's like it's we're getting sweet we're getting and I like see tree I don't usually, like, I don't eat a lot of candy, but I love a peach ring, obviously. It's sweet, the sweet, gummy, perfect, artificial peach deliciousness of a peach ring.

And it's not too, too spicy. But it's just enough to make, like, you know how when you're watching chopped or a cooking show, whatever, they're like, you want to balance the sweet and the spice? And I'm always like, I don't think about food this way. But this is like, this is like what they mean, you know? It's like a perfect balance of, like, sweet. and a totally unexpected spice. I mean, I know chimois candy is common, but for me it's unexpected.

And I, and like the way that you have like a, you know, the tahine on the mango or the tequila on apple is so good. But it's so, it's fucking awesome. Oh, delicious. Get yourself some chomoi peat drinks. Yes. Or just get some peat rins and you can bop some chaboy on it. You can make it yourself.

If it is something that is difficult to come by where you're at, which is completely understandable. Now, I love. Oh, I didn't even sing your song, MJ. I'm so sorry. Oh, that's okay. I was so busy blowing my nose. Ooh, everything they snack.

MJ's men and munchies. Oh. Yep, everything they snack. I did want to posit to you, MJ, that I did find these zombie talkies. And I'm hoping that if you end up finding them, I don't want you to have to go out and search for them. I just know that you're a bit of a toki connoisseur at this point. So I am. I am curious.

to, I'm not a big talkie freak over here. And I remember what that is. They're like corn tortilla little, like, so and a lot. Bright red, spicy. Beloved by children. Beloved, beloved. But now they have a zombie version and I don't know if it's going to taste any different. And they are bright green.

They're green instead of red. But I also tried the blue ones and they tasted very similar to me. But yeah, I think they're probably going to be spicier. Maybe spicier. Remember when they made ketchup purple and stuff when we were, kids. Oh, yeah. It's maybe just the same situation.

Oh, yeah. I love Taki is embracing food dye at a time that food diet a time that food die is not popular anymore, okay? But I like it when companies are just like, we're doing it. Yeah, we're on it. We got bigger problems right now. We are a dye-based food. And that is the experience.

And I say, God bless it. Give me the die. God bless it. Give me a little hyperactivity. Yeah. I was going to say God bless you, Natalie. But then I felt weird saying it. God bless you, Natalie.

Ew. And may God bless you, MJ. Oh, and let God's blessings go to everyone listening to our episode upon this day. I'm the demon from the cemetery. Oh, right. Famously, sign of a demon. Sign of a demon. And thank you everybody for coming and hanging out with us on this episode of page seven.

Natalie, where can we find you? Oh, just everywhere on the internet. Everywhere. Everywhere. We have a new YouTube channels for both Romanticity Deep Dives and for someplace underneath. And so we're making a new content for that. Yes. And Natalie and I are going this weekend. If you happen to be in Los Angeles, we are going to be at the Enchanted Realms Festival this Saturday from 10 to 6 p.m. over at the Autry Museum because Natalie and I are going to be vending wares and meet and people and you should come out and come hang with us again. That's Enchanted Realms.

and you can look it up on Instagram if you want to get into some romanticie events. Because it's going to be fun and all I know is that I'm juicing and I'm already upset because the wings are not going to arrive in time for me to dress up my husband

like he is a big bat dolly for me. Oh no. Next time. Next time. Next time everybody. We'll throw some flowers in his beard or something. Yeah, we're going to torque him up and everybody's going to be juiced down for him and I'm going to flip out. You're going to get mad.

No, I'm not. I'm going to love it. I'm like, juice away. Get to juice in. And, uh, oh, good. Yes, you can find YouTube.com slash at LPN Romanticcy. Also, if you want to get into more Who's the Bitch action with me and Kara Klank. Go hit up who's the bitch.com.

Get in your bituations. We love here and from you. And all of the information can be found over there. And MJ? Um, yeah, you can join our Patreon. Patreon. com slash page seven podcast. We love you guys over there.

We love our Patreon. community. We love your emails. Page 7podcast at gmail.com. We love you guys. Natalie, we love you. Thank you so much for coming out of the show. And we will see you guys tomorrow for Second Helpings. Bye, everybody. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.