Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #226

Episode Date: April 23, 2015

This week on PKA, the guys are joined by JayzTwoCents and the guys talk about weight loss, some interesting hypothetical questions and going over the events of the last PKA Adventure at paintball in Chicago.

And we're live! Painkiller Already, episode 226. This episode of Painkiller Already is being brought to you by Crunchyroll. That's right, folks. Crunchyroll.com slash pka. That's how you do it. We're giving you 30 days of free 1080p anime on any and every device you can imagine. And they've got some brand new feature shows they want you guys to know about. This month, they want us to talk about Naruto, Food Wars, I think that's starring Wings of Redemption,

and Sailor Moon Crystal. Those are the three shows they wanted us to talk about. All these shows are coming straight from Japan. They're getting subtitled into English as soon as an hour after they premiere there. It's some of the most exclusive content on the internet when it comes to anime. Go to Crunchyroll.com slash PKA

and sign up for premium and get the world's finest collection of anime free for 30 days with zero ads. Philly D had a translator like on staff. Like she was a she did that. You know how they like they comes out in Japan and then they like instantly get it and translate it to English. Yeah. He had a woman who did that. Like he he stole an employee away from Crunchyroll.

She was he said it was hard that he was really happy there. Yeah. That's a... I was... Go on. At the paintball event, I actually got to talk to someone who was able to take advantage of Crunchyroll, our old friend, Duct Tape Man. I actually know his real name right now because I asked him at the event, but I won't put

it on the air. Duct Tape Man has been at all of our paintball events. He comes every year with a vest made by himself out of duct tape. It's always very impressive. It it truly is yeah and he told me that uh that he really liked crunchy roll that um when he first found out about it and you know being able to get all his favorite shows in 1080p he was uh he was blown away so there you go duct tape man has really gotten his act together like a couple years ago he was that guy who was like dehydrated, nearly dying outside of the building. And we had to like give him Gatorade to sustain life. Now he appears taller, but he's 22 or something.

So that's a late growth spurt, but he's definitely thinner. And he just, he's achieving some life success. So I'm happy for him. So he got a raise at work. Yes. Yes. Excellent. Excellent news for duct tape, man.

More money and a better body. Next come girls. Absolutely. Duct Tape Girl. Some kinky stuff going on. Absolutely. Yeah, Duct Tape Girl will be awesome. But Crunchyroll, check them out.

Naruto, Food Wars, Sailor Moon Crystal. They got some new shows and uh if you like anime this is the answer for it absolutely all right so where do we want to go first our guest hello so jay-z two cents aka jay uh yep or jay's two cents either either works all right i i'll take it if you're looking for jay-z and you find me i'll still take it so you'll take those views do you get angry people in the comments like you're the worst rapper ever actually and on on quite a few videos like it's like that's like a common thing but what i love most is when i get noticed out in public someone be like oh jay-z i love your stuff and it's like if you really watched my stuff you'd know it's not jay-z but but i'll i'll i'll i'll go along

with it anyway but no i'm not even kidding the amount of people who've told me that they legitimately found me because they were searching for rap and then like what is this white guy up here on the on the google search and then they stumble across the channel and they stick around so it's like it's like accidental how bizarre prepare for come back. I'm known as Snoop woody No, I'm not kidding if you go to my videos on the side So so many suggested videos on the sidebar is like rap saw our music. It's funny. Yeah, that's great I think you should you should bust a rhyme on one of these things. I've done it. Oh god. Hey, we Never went well

I'm I trust me. I'm not another Eminem. I beat Wings of Redemption in a rap battle. Just saying. And a dance contest. And two dance contests. Yeah, another African-American skill. In fairness, I am awesome at dancing. I can't argue with that because you do have a trophy.

Yes, I am an award-winning dancer. So what I do is what award-winning dancers if i go down the trophy stop get my own dance can i can i claim a good dancer if i buy my own trophy i i want a top end dance contest it was an old thing you know what they did here's the thing my dancing was it like if we were to break in, I was at the top of the bottom third in terms of talent. But they messed up, and they made it fan-based voting. Oh. So I just, all my fans came.

There were a lot of big people. We really pushed that hard. I beat C-Nanners. I beat Kingsley. I beat Obama Girl. Do you remember her? The CNN girl and everything? That was the thing?

Yeah. I beat Tay Zonday, the Chocolate Rain guy. Obama girl. Do you remember her? The CNN girl and everything? That was the thing. Taysonde, the chocolate rain guy. Wow, he was relevant almost a decade ago. So there were some YouTube heavyweights in there, but I think I kind of outworked everyone and live-streamed every day and asked for votes. And I uploaded

a lot of videos. So yeah. You were dedicated. Award-winning dancer so it was like it was like king of the web but for dancing but it was 25 grand yeah okay so then it's worth entering yes yeah yeah and then there's like i also got paid just for for entering and flying out there and stuff so uh like it was enough it was enough that I paid off my house after it was over. Speaking of getting paid to have fun, the paintball trip was badass. Yes, it was.

Got to meet a lot of fans. I don't even know how many. Probably close to 200 over the two days. Lots of people showed up. What did you say? Close to what? Close to 200 maybe. Yeah, that's a good estimate I think.

There were a lot of people there who knew who we were who weren't even aware of the event, funny enough. So that was an interesting little happenstance, but everybody was really cool. There's usually some weird motherfucker that creeps me out or something like that and I'm just like, eh, I gotta get out of here. But like, everybody was really

cool, except for the guy who got me sick. I don't know what kind of plague you've bestowed upon me, but you can go suck a dick i've been i've been in bed for two days now but i had an awesome time at the paintball event um shot a lot of you a lot of you shot the fuck out of me i got about 30 35 welts on my body and yeah ones to show kyle hidden under that poncho yeah this is my sweat poncho it's keeping me keeping me healthy yeah let me see if i got it i know i had a question about one of the the people that was there when i went a few years ago what was his name like butter boy or oh or cookie monster or something hillsborough boy

the pillsbury boy yeah has he grown dough boy exactly has he grown up no Has he continued to come? Or is he no longer in it? Doughboy was not a fan of ours. I found Doughboy at the entrance point of a game. And I was like, hey man, you want to roll with us? And he was like, woohoo! And started hanging out with us. He had enough social skills as a 10-year-old.

He just popped in our group of like 20 to 40 year olds and like stayed with us all day so he was a medic now medics are limited on the weaponry they can carry like they can have a pistol or nothing this guy carried around a sword so if he touched someone he'd get them out but mostly he was just hanging out in the line of fire healing people and um also he was so good normally with a medic you have to get right up to him like touch him write down their number and stuff but he was a really good medic he could do it from a distance yeah yes he was a long-range medic 50 yards away you're good

he was very astute with the cheating for 12-year-old. Because there were times where he was next to me in a bunker and he'd get shot. He'd be like, Merker, am I okay? I'd be like, yeah, I'm fine. Am I okay? Yeah, you're good. All right, let's just cheat our way forward. Can you cure head wounds? I can.

Well, let me see. You're fine. He was great. And then, dude, there was a scene. So Kyle was cheating with joe joe lozanne and uh uh afterwards like kyle was i guess he was dead but he was like giving joe like positional call outs of where the bad guys were and uh joe was like you know you gotta like i didn't understand what you were saying etc and kyle's like well i was kind of cheating

and joe goes yes I know we were cheating we have to step up our cheating game so it's more effective alright there was a guy sneaking around behind Joe and Joe was about to get shot in the back so I was like Joe there's a guy sneaking around behind you and he's like huh?

what? what? and then he got shot in the head yeah so it was ineffective cheating. I miss paintballing. I used to go a lot because I used to do PSP, which was like air ball, but we used to do scenario every now and then up in the hills, but it's just so damn hot here. It's not even enjoyable during the season. Where are you?

I'm in Southern California. Yeah. So yeah, it gets really hot. I mean, the paintballs even lose their shape in your hopper if you're sitting in the sun for too long. They'll start to like, the balls on the bottom of the hopper will start to elongate and they start blowing up in the barrel. I miss

paintball though because you guys are back east, right? Yes, this event was in Chicago. So Kyle and I are east and Mirka's west. Mirka, is your location top secret? I think it's not, right? No, I'm in Idaho right now. People just don't know you're a stripper.

So the bruise I just showed on camera a minute ago in the back of my kneecap, I just wanted to show you how that happened because I've actually got that one on film. So I'm going to share this video with you with a timestamp. I'm just making that happen now. Do I have to fix the... Are you capable of playing videos? I've heard of Arrow to the Knee, but you take it to a new level, Kyle. Yeah.

This one hurts so goddamn much. Based on the bruises I'm seeing, I'm guessing the chronographs weren't used very often that day. I wasn't chrono'd the whole time. Shoot. 400 FPS. I learned a neat trick to beat the chronograph

is you go and you take it and then you bring a screwdriver with you out onto the field. You can't reach that guy in the distance if you start cranking up the regulator. Terrible. You go until you explode a ball and then back off one half turn.

Good, good. Turn a little bit. Too hot. Good. Good. A little bit. Yes, exactly. Some dumb fuck just broke his phone. Robots? I hear robots. I heard a robot too, but it's okay. I'm busy fixing the...

I have another screen from where I share content and I'm setting it up. Am I robotic right now? You're getting better. You're on the road to recovery. I think it's because of the video that you're watching at the same time. A lot of porn, sorry. The moment he said that

his bit rate dropped even more. Well, I finished. So you're supposed to buffer it before the show and then you just watch it during. Jay is technical. It's funny how it shows up. He's like, I think it's audio dropped to about 8-bit. It's a good estimate, really.

I can't help it. That's the way I'm programmed. I worked in IT for 10 years, and then when I quit my job to keep doing YouTube, it's all tech-based. Dude, I did the same thing. So what was your job? I actually worked in software. I was an SQA. SQA?

Senior Quality Assurance. Oh, okay. So I did code check-in and check people's code, and basically it was like, yay or nay, you suck, redo your job. I was a senior software architect, so I would... An SSA. I never called myself that, but i do like it uh all right hold on yeah actually i i uh just went full-time i mean it was it was

it was kind of scary but i i things are going pretty damn good already so it's um dude so for me the the big thing i wonder if people like talking about this but for me the big thing was like there's no stopping you like there's no start and end time on this thing you can work 24 hours that's what i love about it because i mean and there's and there's direct there's direct reward for your effort too i mean you you do a great video you get great hits on it you get immediate reward for it you know and it's a lot of direct result to your effort whereas like you go to a nine to five and it's like oh you did your job congratulations you get to keep your shitty job you know and that's the way i felt anyway i one of the things

that hit me when i was so i was working at cisco and um there were like some rough times right this is like i don't know 2008 ish or nine ish or something and um they hadn't given raises for a while and then they finally gave me a raise and it was like three percent yet my youtube channel was growing like one percent a day yeah and i'm like a three percent raise representing like three years? That's half a week. Do you want to watch this video, Kyle? Yeah. I'm ready. I think the video kind of speaks for itself. I'm queued up at 1 minute and 43 seconds.

Is everyone ready? Ready, set, play. That's me. Oh, this is a great moment It is okay, so my buddy Oh is is working a little bit of strategy here He says well, let's go on the left side of the map Maybe we can is that Joe with the backwards at yeah, just start pick a few of them off on the break surprised

He doesn't pull out the MMA fighter card more often Just in random circumstance like that you're out. No, I'm not I'm a fuck. Hey, I'm Shoots me in the back of the kneecap this guy right here and then he realizes what he's done and he was he felt terrible he was like oh he shot me fuck i'm a fuck it hurts so god i'm sorry and it hurts so fucking much it was not all good at the time he shot me right in the back of the kneecap kyle retold the story and um and it was great because you know like someone does something bad and you're like ah it's okay

don't worry about it you know i'm fine he's like i couldn't say that because it wasn't okay it was not okay it was not acceptable i did not forgive him i just couldn't it hurt too much yeah that was definitely not a forgivable uh offense i just kind of looked at him, flowered at him, and then just, all right, I'm going to keep walking now. I'll see you later. That was awful. It wasn't as bad as getting shot in the dick, though. That was just, I really.

How's your dick? It's better now. It tastes the same. Oh, I would imagine. It's going to be a little oilier. Dear God. No, it's better now. Did you get a bruise? Yeah, yeah yeah i definitely had some dick bruisage

uh definitely so when you got a roused in the morning did it wake you up with a start no no there wasn't any like pain at that point but but at in the moment like and for like probably an hour afterwards it hurt a lot it just hurt a lot. I almost threw up from the pain. It was really bad. I had a similar injury once. It wasn't paintball. So I was surfing, and it was in the fall. And I don't know if you've ever worn a full suit or something, but there isn't really a perfect way to put your junk. The cut of a full suit is a wet suit with arms and legs. And the cut of it is such is a wetsuit with, like, arms and legs. And the cut of it is such that you can either sort of, like, jam the stuff straight down, but then it's almost, like, too held straight down.

It's like touching your butthole almost. You know what really sucks? Does anyone here cycle? Do cycling? I have done that. So if you wear, you know, the chamois-lined padded cycling shorts for the sake of protection, which is kind of important, that is extremely uncomfortable when you think about it. Because the chamois is designed to be right up against your junk. It's like, don't wear underwear.

Don't just chamois to shit, really. And it's just like, you have to wear buttercream. And it just gets very nasty when you think about it. But what you're describing reminds me of like when i go cycling because i do a lot of cycling and it's just you know there's there's some unpleasant things we do to do the things we enjoy yeah what is buttercream i want to get back to that they actually call it right i'm not just going to the cold food section and rub it on your inner thighs it's got to be low-fat margarine uh no it's actually called um it's actually called uh chamois butter and it's it's designed to keep you from ch margarine. No, it's actually called chamois butter. It's designed to keep you

from chafing because you figure you're sliding around on that seat depending on how you're spinning. It's literally designed for men to keep yourself from rubbing yourself raw on long rides. It's just something slick that you put down there. They should call it

taint paint. That's a way better name. Yeah, pretty much that's what it is. I don't use it a lot, but when I go on a long 50-mile ride or something, I will. But other than that, it's kind of gross, really, if you think about it. Did you use to eat cookies? She just delivered milk and cookies. Where's ours? What kind of fancy cookie is that?

Yeah, individually wrapped. Right? It looks like it was some sort of gold aluminum foil wrapper on it or something. We get our food delivered from this co-op type thing. Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. Support the community, you know. It's actually really nice.

Our milk comes in glass jars and stuff. And they have these. They still do that? Yeah, Chiz delivers them. Do you guys want to see my milk? It's pretty awesome. I'm not sure I've ever had a dude ask me if I want to see his milk. Which ties into what I was going to say. But yeah, there's a high rock farm. Looks like a chocolate chip cookie with maybe some peanut butter chips because there's a hint of something. I like that. Right there. See, my fans know I'm in the middle of like a diehard weight loss routine right now.

So you're really hurting me here, Woody. Dude, so am I. And apparently I'm not very good at it. What was I going to say? Oh, Bag Bomb. They don't use bag bomb anymore? But bag bomb, that's thicker than the butter stuff, though. I'm sure it's...

So bag bomb, it sounds perfect for testicles, in my opinion, but it's designed for cow udders. Like the cow udders that get milked too much? So you just spread that on your junk, and it helps know it helps everything you know go a little better so uh prevents chafing well too much of this motion will give you chafing all kinds of products to keep your junk from uh from rubbing raw yeah um oh did you guys want to do a quick house update oh of course i always want to know what's going

on with that fucking house so for jay's benefit and for anyone who doesn't see every episode uh i've never seen your mansion i bought a i bought this house um it's this great big thing it's actually pretty cool but we had it renovated like we got new paint and new hardware floors and etc and it's been a nightmare they said it would take two weeks it has been a little over three months and it's you know i can't believe a contractor would mislead you it um it's gotten to the point where like the trust is gone you know and and the trust had been gone for some while now but the illusion of trust is gone you got 40 what the hell what are you drinking? Oh, I thought we were having a drinking episode. What are you drinking, homie? I've got a couple of beers.

It's a Modelo. All right, all right. So at least you took it out of the bag, right? Exactly. I don't know if people heard this because it happened while we were at paintball, but they served me with a summons to show up at court. So now Jamal is, I guess, suing us or something. And his attorney isn't very good because she's making these mistakes.

Like the lien she filed against our house had the wrong year on it. You don't do small claims court and a lien at the same time. A lien, for people who don't know, is like a... A contractor's lien, right? Yeah, a mechanic's lien. But basically, he's putting a claim on the money that I owe the general contractor. It's the sub. So the general contractor didn't pay the subcontractor because he's bad at his job. What's new is this.

I went to the county clerk. I put the six grand that he's trying to get in an escrow account. And now that lien isn't against the money I owe it anymore. It's against this bond, this escrow account that I put, it's bonded there. So I'm kind of clear. It's like I paid it and then it'll just get divvied up as it is your title up. I, they finished the job. It's done. It's over final payment. And that was kind of a really big deal for me. I went down, I got, um, the general contractor to sign this thing that says he can't put a lien like it's often what you do when you make your final payment you get this final waiver of lien and it was a lot like buying the house like finally my wife

and I were there there were no contractors contractors are not getting subcontractors aren't getting paid that's like a big deal people are hanging out in our driveway hoping to catch the general contractor Andre's been there for three days and uh that shit's over now everybody's like i paid the gc the job is it was mostly done i just backcharged him like 200 for a couple bad things did you do him for that rough uh kitchen counter thing yes yeah i built it for the 75 more i built it for the kitchen counter counter thing. They damaged some ceiling fan blades. So I built them for three sets of new ceiling fan blades.

And there was like a hole in the floor next to the wall that's not quite right. And it's not huge. It's like big enough to put maybe two quarters in, something like that. But I backcharged them for that. Basically, they widened the doorway. And now the hardwood floor that used to be under their molding is exposed. So yeah, just backcharged him a couple hundred dollars, sent him a final payment, got his lien waiver,

and the house is done, done, done, over. And I'm very excited about that. Isn't it sad, though, that you have to feel excited about being clean and clear of this drama just from wanting renovation? It's like here you are a homeowner you know you get the gc and you're like let's do some work to the house but then someone else drops the ball and it's affecting you i talked to the subs attorney today and she was like not i don't know she was bitch total bitch like i'm talking to her i'm like you know i didn't do

anything wrong she's like well you're named in the suit it is you and the general contractor who we're going after and it's, my checks have never bounced. They've never been fucking 30 seconds late. I've been on point this whole thing. I've made myself very available. I've been the GC on a lot of these things, figuring out sourcing where we get materials from and stuff like that, planning the next stage.

One of the reasons this thing would go so wrong, for example, like they're laying flooring, right? They literally didn't have enough flooring for the job, and they didn't think to order more until they run out. So this contractor's just like, well, I put the last piece down, now what? Now two weeks of searching for more flooring. You know, that kind of crap. There's no planning ahead whatsoever.

They're over their heads. When you need 60,000 square feet of prime maple hardwood it is difficult in your palatial estate the um oh the i got the pool table set up and installed um that was pretty exciting table is that up there yet it is i was actually playing so it's not like a super high-end pool table but it has a ping pong table that you can lay on top of it and i was playing with colin, and that was pretty cool. Showing no mercy, I'm sure. I showed tons of mercy.

They're like bouncing off the wall behind him. He's like, why? There were moments, too. Like Colin lobs up these big softballs, and I just want to be like, ah. And I didn't. I just totally went easy on him the whole time. No, you've got to just destroy him one of these games and then turn it into a life lesson of like

that wasn't fun? Well, life won't be fun if you don't shape up your ass. That's what I do for Kyle. That's the Kyle treatment. But there will be a time when he and I compete aggressively. He's just not there yet. So Chris Hansen. Let's talk about him. Can we talk about Chris Hansen now now all right so i am the biggest

to catch a predator fan ever i uh i was i was a former star i believe right yeah yeah season three season three alum do you do you know who i am oh yeah yeah i'm a huge fan mr hansen could i have your autograph you have no idea how many girls I fucked waiting for this moment time and time again and it wasn't you but now so for those of you who don't know who Chris Hansen was he was the host of a

Dateline special that used to come on called To Catch a Predator and basically they would pose as an underage girl or boy usually 12 or 13 years old lure men to a home somewhere and they would have law enforcement waiting out outside and but on the inside they usually have a decoy who looks like the person the adult was communicating with online plus our style our real real star chris hansen ch Chris Hansen is so hilarious once he confronts these pedophiles

because he's done it so many times. He's got complete control. He's just like, hi. Not to mention there's like eight bodyguards behind the camera. Oh yeah, totally. Sitting in another room. Having some lemonade there. Yeah, just have a seat. Oh yeah, the offering of treats.

The traditional offering of treats for the pedophile is the best. Because they sit there and, like, nervously nibble on a raisin cookie. I guarantee you give them raisin cookies. It's like, oh, dude, you're a pedophile. It's so poetic, though, right, to offer the pedophile treats? So at some point, and I may be getting this wrong, but I think what happened is the show got taken off the air after it seemed like they caught a guy on the show.

And then there was a standoff with police, and then that guy killed himself. I think that happened. And the show hasn't been on the air in many years now, it seems like. And I've missed it. I was actually watching YouTube clips of it the other night. You can find full episodes on YouTube, and they're hilarious. But he's got a Kickstarter program going.

Let me see if I can link you guys to it here. Because they want to bring To Catch a Predator back to the interwebs. So it's kickstarter.com projects. That's right. Doesn't he need 400k or something like that? Seems cheap enough to me. $400,000 to embarrass

pedophiles on television. I think it's steep. Yeah. If we can find him. I'll certainly do it for $200,000. Well, he's got it broken down. Where that money goes.

Oh, he looks older. He does. Chris Hansen has aged a lifetime of fighting pedophilia uh remarkably you know funny enough has made him actually look older you would think that it'd be the opposite maybe but no he's yeah he like benjamin buttoned his way into eternal life by fucking with pedophiles by defending children's like virginity yeah that's that's how it should work so yeah i'm thinking about contributing to this thing because I noticed that for $500,

you get to have, like, a 20-minute Skype conversation with this guy. And I was thinking, like, what if we gave him $500 and then just, oh, it's already bought up. What? Damn it. Oh, no, no, I'm wrong. I'm dumb. I saw 10 of 10 left, and I thought that was, they were all gone.

So, yeah, for $500, we could potentially get him in a 20-minute Skype conversation, and I think that would be really fun. Dude, we should totally do that. And I feel like if we were to get him on and help him pimp his thing, because it says in here something that was bad. Estimated delivery December? I don't know. It seemed like if he delivers it right now instead

of december of 2015 that uh we could help him promote his kickstarter on our show yeah maybe you know it would be a motivation for him to do it today yeah and maybe we could definitely would and then we would be transitively fighting pedophilia through him i love that he'll do like a voicemail for you for some of the smaller amounts of money. I think that'd be really funny to just have him call somebody. He'd be the best to do prank phone calls.

Dude, we should make this happen. Do you want me to do it right now? Yeah, do it. Why not? Alright, alright. I want some of that merchandise, though. Like the mug, maybe? Like to catch a predator mug? Yeah.

That needs to be a stipulation. We'll help you fight these perverts. Yeah. We need mugs. Customized. Some of the... So he's always got the chat log, right? Of what the adult was saying to the imaginary miner.

And that's the best part for me. The guy will be there. He's like, well, how old did she say she was? He's like, oh, maybe 17, something like that. Well, that's not what it says, right? And he starts flipping, and they're just like, oh, Lord. Oh, you don't have to look through all that now. Hang on.

It's all multicolored, like highlighted. Is this your penis right here? Yeah? Yeah? You sent that to a 12-year-old girl? Really? And it's just humiliating. And you sent this guy's life evaporate away.

And how just disinterested and deadpan almost he reads it, where he's like, well, that's not at all what the transcript reads. It seems here that you told little Jessica that you'd like to, and I quote, tongue her butthole. Now, how do you feel about that? Do you think that's something you'd like to, and I quote, tongue her butthole. Now, how do you feel about that? Do you think that's something you said? Well, that's not what I meant.

That's right. You wanted to get the cat involved in a sexual scenario. Now, what kind of man comes to find a 14-year-old boy and wants to get a cat involved with a sex act as well? And they're just like, well, you know how it is. I'm a trucker, and I'm just bored a lot lot just trying to kill some time before my day to ship. It's just how straight-faced and business-like he is. So on page two, you mentioned a meat spin. What exactly is a meat spin?

He just humiliates you with kindness. You mentioned her attending a lemon party. What did you mean by that? Did you bring the condoms? Yeah, I brought the condoms and the lube. Did you bring the lubricant? Yeah, I brought the lube. And it's like, what are you doing to him? Just let him go. Give him enough. Let him go outside and be up. So it's done.

I've pledged $500 to get Chris Hansen to, hopefully he comes on the show, we can pimp his thing, and it's a win for everybody. Worst case scenario, me and you will have a private Skype conversation with Chris Hansen, and we'll record it without his knowledge. See how he likes it!

Table-scratch! Have a seat over here. What if we began our Skype conversation with, like, fucking with him about his DUI arrest a few years ago oh that would be really funny do you think that every restaurant he goes into the hostess is always like oh have a seat have a seat right over here and he gets tired of it because I could imagine that but she's really just doing her job but he's getting pissed at her for no reason yeah some boys people that for justice like some

there it is boys your patreon money going to good use chris hansen some of the distances that those men drive uh like five and a half hours and stuff like that like some of them take buses and it's like they're coming in one guy last night had cerebral palsy so he comes in like he's really unstable he's on uh he on a, he's got a cane. And, I mean, this guy cannot walk well at all. It took him five minutes to get from his car to, like, seated in a chair. And he's just wobbling around everywhere. And he's just like, well, I want to kiss you and hug you first.

And she, and then, like, the dump, like, the girl who's pretending to be 12 is there. She's like, oh, what else did you want to do with the razor? She's making him incriminate himself more and more. He's like, well, I wanted to shave you down there. You know. It's just like, it keeps getting worse and worse. And then Chris Hansen's like, oh, a little shaving, huh? That's my favorite part, when their world comes crashing down in that moment

that's uh that's the whole moment that's like the the peak of the show that they set the whole thing up and you're watching and watching and then the moment the guy like cameras roll in chris hansen rolls in and he just realizes like oh my god my life is over i'm sorry you got it a little bit wrong but because when the cameras roll in, that's when it really punctuates the moment. Because up until then, they don't know who he is. There's a moment where he confronts them, and oftentimes they think that he's

like the father of the girl, maybe a police officer. Sometimes they think he's a therapist. They've said that. You're obviously a therapist. You've got all the answers. And they're often rednecks. I don't know why. But when it really steps up a notch is when he goes, well, I'm Chris

Hansen, and we've got a Dateline special about internet predators called Catch a Predator. And then the cameras roll out. And it's a full TV news crew, right, with the big cameras and the sound poles and everything. And in that moment, they know that this isn't an embarrassing afternoon anymore.

This isn't the day that that guy, like, really gave him a talking to. This is their life ending. This is NBC. And they're right there. Do you ever see the episodes where they, yeah, they try and cover their face, but the ones where they don't even have the guy

come around from the kitchen door, he comes around from behind him and so you see these pedophiles where he's acting and it's just like just sheer horror and it's over I love it I am honestly proud I'm honestly proud that we backed his Kickstarter

that's a good one because he's getting internet predators off the internet it's a good one um because he's uh you know he's he's getting internet predators off the uh the internet it's a good thing gotta be i had heard an article that they were this was yesterday actually it was on the on the radio where they were talking about some of the reasons why it was taken offline and they were they were saying that there were some some maybe not quite so um up and up way of our methods of luring that's true. That's true. Tell me more. Well, it was supposed to be a lot of

I guess some of these conversations go where the guy is like, no, I'm not interested. No, that's not a good idea. But they just keep pushing and pushing and pushing until he gives and then they bust the guy. So there's been a lot of lawsuits that have come of that show too where some of these pedophiles have gotten off scot-free because of the methods used of luring where

it became completely, not entrapment there was there was enough proof showing the person wasn't i don't mind that i don't mind that because i've had i've told woody this before i was like i i wouldn't get into that into that sort of a trap because as soon as i talked to girls on the internet obviously they they messaged me occasionally through one avenue or another. Facebook's usually the best way if you want to. Say you're nude with your driver's license. What I'm getting at is sometimes a 17 or 16 year old girl would be flirtatious with me on the internet and I'd be like, I'm not even going to tell you that you shouldn't be flirting with me. You just block communications. It looks so bad to be

doing anything like that. I don't bad to be doing anything like that. I don't want any part of anything like that. You've got to be 18 years old, or I just don't even want to be your friend or talk to you or anything like that. So when I see these guys, oh, did the 14-year-old beg you for cock? Really? You 300-pound neckbeard. You really thought that? Really?

The actress that they've got portraying the 12-year-old is hot. She's 19, and she's hot so this guy thinks that that girl wants him to drive five and a half hours to come to her like mansion while her parents aren't home and bang her for the for and take her virginity you thought that you're the idiot they deserve whatever they get they deserve that and isn't it better when you know that they had to drive like nine hours to get arrested? And you know how hard it's going to be for them to get bail and get out of jail the next day. They're stopping for gas on the way, excited about it.

Just maybe, oh, some bugles. Today, everything's looking up. And then just keep driving down there. If you get a drunken disorderly like in your hometown, then maybe your buddy, your uncle, whatever. Somebody will get you out by the Next day, and it's all good and everything no one's driving 10 hours to bail you out of jail for pedophilia Hey, honey. Hey, honey. I'm not making it home tonight. I know I said I was going to see Roger, but yeah funny thing You ever see you know Chris Hansen is

Yeah, yeah, well I'm gonna be on the show, funny enough. Yeah, you too. They're recording this right now. I'll be on TV. Look for me. Also, it turns out Roger is 11 and female, but, you know, no biggie. It shows it's not scripted after all, so, you know. Now, that is the show.

I like that. In an age where so much of reality is not reality, it's all scripted and fake and manipulated, there's a show that's real. I know it is because the cops are there at the end. What do they call that? Scripted realities. And it's just stupid. But yeah, like some of these guys,

the moment he even shows his face, they're just like up and out the door and the cops have already got him on the ground because the moment he walks in the house, they're surrounded. There was a guy last night. He was claiming that he was a police officer and he kept like as the as the thing went on, he was like giving himself a higher and higher like office, I suppose, or rank. At first he was like, yeah, I'm a police officer.

And then it was like, oh, yeah, I'm a detective, detective lieutenant. And it just like kept yeah i'm a detective uh detective lieutenant and it just like kept getting better and better and it turned out that he was like a training officer and he had been suspended for using his blue lights on his on his own vehicle and like he was nothing anymore uh they they thought that he might have a gun because he had told him he was a cop so they were more aggressive with him and they tried to tase him before he even made it out of the doors of the house but only one of the the pr hit him, so it didn't work, and he starts screaming like a girl and running from them.

No! No! And they've got to tackle him back in the room where they were doing the whole interview and hog time. It's great. What I love is some of the guys who just get up and walk out before he can even say anything. It's funny. They handcuff them and stuff,

but then there's a jump cut, and he's sitting on the stool handcuffed like they walked him back in there like no you're gonna talk to chris so he's doing the interview handcuffed you know because normally they'll let him walk out like okay i'm ready all right go get arrested you know they're like kind about it but i love when they're sitting there practically hogtied in the stool i i feel like towards the end especially, a lot of people did recognize Chris Hansen. The second he walked in the door, they were like, oh no, this is a bad day. And the one that I watched the other night on YouTube,

for those who don't know, they do it in a different city, different town every time. This one was in Kentucky. And yeah, that was the deal. One of the guys was like, oh yeah, Dateline to catch a predator. Chris Hansen's like, what show?

He's like, the one we're on right now. Like they know. You know, I don't think we would fall for it because I'm sure my first thought walking into the house would be, this house is incredibly well lit. It's very bright. Abnormally bright.

I'm looking nice. this nine-year-old didn't make these cookies and set up this assortment of cheeses and meats for me something is up sometimes it's just too good i if there's a reason it's kentucky if you're not the kind of guy who regularly gets invited over to hot girls house for some sort of a hot tub party and all of a sudden out of the blue there's an underage one that wants you to think twice think twice because if this is your first hot tub party with like where you need to bring a six six pack of bartles and james and and a variety pack of condoms and some strawberry flavored lube and a razor and a big vibrator and she wanted you to walk in the house naked like they just want to embarrass you on dateline bro i promise that's all yeah what the telltale

sign is i'm in the kitchen you know when they walk in the door oh the one oh yeah great uh like um decoy that's what they call her she's like hanging out with him in the living room like like probing him like asking for incriminating stuff like she's asking if he's going to shave her pussy, basically. It's great. It's great. I love that show so much. I'm glad that we invested. I hope he makes the show, and I look forward to potentially talking to him. That'd be cool.

That's the best justice show ever. You know the justice porn? Justice porn and art porn and history porn and all that stupid shit on the Reddit. That's the best justice thing ever is seeing those pedos get their comeuppance on that show. I like instant karma. Like, I'm a fan of when that happens.

Like, you know, I don't know. Some guy will, like, pick on guy A and then guy C rolls in there and instantly, like, you know, knock. What is it? KTFO? Knock the fuck out fuck out just get some insight i'm a huge fan there's that viral video of that redneck in the truck flipping off the lady with the camera and then she he spins his truck into the pole have you seen that video no i don't think so it's like a wet day he's in like a i know he's in like a silverado right it's kind of like big red truck. And apparently he had been tailgating this lady and she turned on her cell phone and started videotaping him. And he blows past her on the right and he sees that she's filming.

So he backs up and he gives her the most angry-looking bird he could muster up. Like he's grinning his teeth. He's giving her the bird so hard. So then he gasses it and passes her. Yeah, just like that. So then he passes her and the moment he like jerks in front of her to kind of cut her off he accidentally spins his truck into the center median and like hits a light pole and then crosses the other lanes and hits a tree and she starts busting up like that's what you get buddy and she's just laughing her ass off so that's like one of the most common like instant karma videos right now that's going around i thought i was

going to get into a road rage fight today i'll put a link oh woody you wrapped scallion there's not much to it really but what happened was um i'm i'm in his uh interstate and it was a 70 mile an hour speed limit i was going 77 in a 70 in the passing lane and uh that's about right ish for this road you know maybe two miles an hour too slow or whatever and uh this guy and a little forward focus comes like zipping up and i see that he's gonna kind of like overtake me and it i moved to the lane i was like i'm moving over so that he can pass in the fast lane but um he was moving over so that he could pass to the right of me and i guess i kind of blocked that so he had to go back into the left and pass me. Rather than just zit by me,

he stops. He matches my speed and next to me he's just staring at me. Staring at me. I don't know what the scoop is. And he's giving me a mean mug. And I give him one of these. Are we mad?

I don't know. I thought I did the right thing. I pulled over so you could pass and whatever. And then he just drives on and speeds up. But I thought... You gave him the flabbergasted auto owner of just, I just kind of did it. I was baffled by the whole situation.

And I ended up passing him later because he slowed down. In my opinion, he needs to work on his speed better. Cruise control. And as I passed him, I was looking at him, and he didn't even look back over. But he was definitely mean mugging me. And I'm like, the whole situation played out in my head. He's giving you the facial expression version of an angry letter. Yeah, that's about right.

I sent you the link to that road rage Instant Karma. It's only 28 seconds. It's like, what are the odds of that happening right as... It's just one of those right place, right time. I'm queued up at zero. Okay. I'm ready. I was thinking we could wait for Kyle

for the video, though. That's a long peek. Maybe. You don't think you would like it I can I'll watch it now he might even know the guy I don't know yeah he might he knows a lot of nefarious characters I know you kind of look like the guy in the video Mirko I'm just saying that bird face you made it was perfect I'm telling you are you ready that's a alpha i am permanent yes um ready set play all right we got a silverado kind of tailgating here that's a great look oh that's what you get

yeah so okay so you know how satisfying yeah like stuff like that is satisfying where someone's a cunt and then they get shoved off the road. But have you ever watched one of those videos that's, like, a minute long? And, like, the beginning is the standard douche being a contentious asshole with somebody else. And then, like, he drives ahead, or he gets in a fight, or something like that. And then it comes to justice, like that. And there's a crash, or a knockout punch. And then it gets worse, where it's like, yeah, you get motherfucker. And then everybody starts stomping

his head in like killing him or his car explodes off the side of a cliff and then it's almost like too much justice it's like alright we just want someone who made a shit maneuver die yeah yeah exactly oh man that's another one you should start when justice goes wrong

that's a good show I think you guys will like this so here we are if it's the one i saw it's all annotated and they explain like this is the bad guy. If I recall... Let's see. So the gentleman with the dash cam is driving... There it is.

This guy needs to get over. This guy's a jerk. Yeah, this is totally the right one. You guys are going to like it. So they kind of... He's trying to nudge him out here Alright, so now we have turf war He's not letting him in First mistake is the sedan's trying to compete with the STD

You're not gonna win I think he's just really not letting him in This guy notices what? His windows are down Ah, so he shoots him. No, he doesn't. That's not what happens in the video. So now he pulls over.

What the fuck? Oh, that is incredible. You know what sucks about that did you notice the passing car coming the other way he got hit too is his window down i don't know hopefully it is advised who cares they're like perfectly placed puddle yeah the whole there were a ton of puddles but yeah it worked out it couldn't have worked out any better and then and then the silver car caught up to him and pulled out a 9mm.

What is this, Georgia? Yeah, that is likely. Or it was Russia, maybe. Have you seen those Russian videos where a bunch of people just put stickers on people's cars when they're trying to do shitty things on the road? What's your opinion on those videos?

I think that at times, both sides are equally dickish. Because sometimes the people who are putting the stickers on there are just going out of their way to be like, Oh, this guy, this guy. And then just run over and throw a sticker on there. And the guy's like, well, you have to put sticker on the window. I just tried to get to work. Or like just complaining about it. And then other times the Russian driver is legitimately like full up on the

sidewalk driving for half a mile. And then they justifiably put the sticker on. I feel like they're usually full up on the sidewalk driving for half a mile. And sometimes they, see, that's the thing. It appears to be semi-normal to like violate this traffic rule and um and beyond that like some of them are like you know i'm so sorry i don't normally do this this is a special

circumstance i don't normally run over pedestrians but i was in a hurry today but they they have no sympathy for anyone so sometimes i feel like the to stop a douchebag people are douchebags themselves. Most of the time, though, there was one, I think it was in Pussy Pass Denied, which is where I found it. The lady's like, I don't know how to drive backwards. How can you do this to a pretty lady? And she was just totally working

the girl card, and it turns out she didn't know how to drive backwards. Yeah. You should be able to drive it both ways. You had a card that said, disregard this person's accountability. And then you could play that.

That'd be a pretty sweet card. I've never seen these sticker videos. Are they secretly putting a sticker on a car that's like, I'm a douchebag or something? No, the sticker is... Oh, I'm still in the small thing. It's like a manhole cover sticker that says in Russian, but I can only imagine says like,

I am a cunt who drives on the sidewalk. And they put it on their front windshield. It's like a manhole covered sticker. Yeah. I did see one dude who just kind of got back at them even more because they're not going to be violent with you. They're just going to throw stickers on there. And this dude was sitting there parked where he shouldn't have been stopping

traffic and they put the stupid sticker on there and then he just proceeded to get out with a razor blade and just start spending what was probably like 40 minutes scraping off the sticker before he proceeded on his way where it's like it's like a routine for him left to wait another 40. So I got like 10 drones in the mail today from Parrot, and I've been playing with them a little bit. This is one of them. Make it fly. Looks like he made that out of K'nex.

Are you good enough to make it hover right in frame? I'm working on it. He's coming. That sounds really cool. I want it to hover near the mic. Jerry would be proud. Let's see if I can bring it down. How many of those do you have 10 do you have any of the jumpy ones um not put together um you have to assemble them

well they come in a box yeah sounds like a scary movie sound effect this would make for a pretty good podcast if it was in frame yeah or a video podcast let me see what i can do oh ah very clever yeah seeing the top of that shelf for the first time on pk i know right on the story right what do we yeah oh you did it what's the battery life like so have you figured out what you want to do with them yet uh in terms of video production um they're getting shot they're gonna fly around and and get shot uh those ones are oh there it is it's hard to do backwards. How much are those if you just want to buy one?

Um, 100 bucks? Something like that maybe. I'm not real sure. I've got the jumping ones too. Jesus Christ! What are the jumping ones? What does that mean? They're on the ground. Oh no, the wheel came off! Oh, so it's just a ground drone that hops about? Yeah, pretty much.

It has a spring-loaded piston that makes it jump, so you could get it on the kitchen counter or on a kitchen table or something. It kind of launches itself in a hurry. It'll jump three fucking feet. Wow, three feet. It's got a camera in it. I've got some of the Parrot drones, too.

Those fly like 750 feet away from you and have a 1080p video camera in them and stuff. They're pretty cool. I got some of their headsets too. Parrot really sent us a cool little gift basket. Lots of drones and headsets and stuff. I think there's more stuff coming tomorrow. That's awesome.

I don't know what exactly I'm going to do, but I think those little ones are going to be flying. If I can get them to fly in formation, I will. But if not, they're going to be coming straight at me and I'm going to be shooting them with i don't know a shotgun or a machine gun or something are they going to have anything rigged to them it doesn't look like they can haul heavy stuff i don't think they can hit i don't think they can carry too much uh so that's something i'll have to work on yeah ziplock bag full of gasoline probably not even a regular soda bottle much less a two liter, right? I don't know. Not even like a 20 ounce?

I flew it outside to see how high it would go, and I fucked with the dog for like half an hour. So much fun. When the dog tries to bite it. Oh, God, no. No, the little dog. Muppet. What's his name? Dak. Like D-A-K. I had it the first time.

Yeah. He's actually named after Dakota Meyer, the Medal of Honor winner, who I've actually met. So it's kind of funny. So yeah, they're really cool. I'm going to have some fun with them. But they're getting destroyed most likely. Yeah, good times. So Jay, tell us about your show.

I pretty much do all computer technologies. Gaming, graphics cards, gaming builds, water cooling stuff. I mean, we do some headphones and some gaming content, but mostly it's just all about high-end PCs. I'm a computer nerd through and through. Ever since I was old enough to start typing away on a computer, I've done everything to do with computers so i actually started on a dare though it was actually from a um someone in the mlg cod community

and i was never into call of duty once it got away from like world war ii stuff so it was kind of funny the way that we met um but yeah he dared me to do a channel because i was doing um twitch first just for the heck of it because Because I wasn't even trying to grow on Twitch. I just was doing it so a friend could watch Battlefield while he was traveling. And he came in and thought that I was funny. And so he said, you should do YouTube. And I said, who the heck would watch me do computer stuff on YouTube? I didn't even know you could subscribe to channels.

I was that ignorant to the whole YouTube thing. So he dared me to do it for a month just to see what happened. And it became so fun and addicting. YouTube thing. So he was like, he dared me to do it for a month just to see what happened. And it became so fun and addicting. And the subscriber growth was growing that through almost three years later now where it's my job. So it's fun. I wouldn't change it because I love this way more than what I was doing in IT. I get that. So how do you, do you have sponsors who give you gear and stuff to help you put things together? Yeah, I mean, my system here... I'll turn my camera so you guys can see it.

But my system over here is a... I can't even... This is weird. Backwards. It's working, though. That looks like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles computer. Sort of, yeah. I mean, it's my main gaming rig, but that rig there was about $10,000. That looks cool.

But, I mean, it's all water-cooled, and I'm getting ready to upgrade it again to, like, all-new Titan cards and stuff. But mean it's all water cooled and i'm getting ready to upgrade it again to like all new titan cards and stuff but that stuff's all sponsored but like any other product reviewer you know i get i get companies that will send in the product for review and it's marketed as a as a sample so i get to keep it but there's no payment that transacts for doing the review so i just i just do performance reviews and in my opinion on on this high-end tech stuff so how do you balance like your free products or even cash versus like reviews and things like that well the product comes in and most of the time i get to keep it every now and then somebody needs the item back because it's just it's a sample that's got to make the tour through you know through the different

medias um but other most of the time i just keep the stuff. Like, the closet behind me is, if I opened it up, it's just from floor to ceiling with all hardware. I imagine the stuff doesn't have that much value to you. Like, if I were to give you, say, an Android phone, it'd be like, great, I'll put it with the rest. Pretty much. Like, I have a Galaxy S6 sitting up on the shelf because I just haven't even had interest yet to turn it on,

let alone do a review on it. But that wasn't even sent for review. That was just kind of sent like, here, we thought you'd like it. Cool. It does kind of suck in the sense, though, that being an enthusiast of the hardware, being at this level of it now has taken away a lot of

oh my god, this is so awesome. You kind of become jaded to it. So it is kind of hard to maintain i guess kind of a a grounded approach to it especially when a lot of my my subscribers are asking me to do hey could you do more affordable stuff that maybe we could afford to do and so i'm kind of trying to gear and and and kind of cover the full spectrum of that you ought to manage it the painkiller or anyway we just sell the fuck out like oh bag bomb dude that's the only thing i'll put on my junk we have no morals

no standards makes for great advertisers well you know you know what you know what people like about my channel though is and i and i get a lot of hate for it too because let's face it technology itself is kind of boring i mean how do you talk about computer parts and make it exciting to where hundreds of thousands of people want to watch? That's like, why? Very hard. So, I mean, I'm a regular guy. I've got a dirty mind.

So, I do a lot of innuendos and kind of dirty jokes mixed in with the videos that are not like in your face, but they're very subtle to where you're kind of like, oh my God, this is hilarious. So, that's kind of my twist on it. And it's funny, though, because I get a lot of people that will say something like, oh my God, less dick jokes, please. But there's like 1,500 or 2,000 people for every one of those saying, we love what you're doing, just keep it up.

And even companies like NVIDIA, I did a complete trolling video on their new Titan, $1,000 graphics card. And I did a whole review of talking about what a piece of shit it was and then by the end of the video I turned into complete fanboy like sold out fanboy even Nvidia like called me up on the phone and had a personal meeting with me to tell me how much they loved that approach

and that unconventional way of doing things so it's working so I just go with it I heard a joke that's only dirty if you have a dirty mind. What is that joke, Woody? Why didn't Ken and Barbie make a family?

Why? Because Ken comes in a different box. I knew where it was going. Coming in boxes. I knew it had to... There's nothing else. I just wanted to throw this out there. I feel horrible right now.

I'm on so much cough medicine. I feel like I'm shifting between dimensions right now. I had that a couple weeks ago. You look good, though, Kyle. Yeah, you look cute in your poncho. He's kind of leaning to the left, though. He's a little tippy.

I'll give him that. But Kyle, I saw Kyle in person for the first time in months, maybe. Probably not a year. But first time in a while. And Kyle has gotten fit. I think he's gotten stronger and leaner. It's a good combo. Yeah. Stupid, sexy Kyle.

Yeah, I'm down like 170, 175 pounds or something like that. Feeling good. And no body fat. He doesn't feel good at all. That part was a lie. I feel terrible right now. I shouldn't start talking about weight loss

because my fans will be like, we just shut the fuck up about it already. I have a separate channel that's all about weight loss stuff because I used to weigh 500 pounds. Wait, you did? I'm out. That's why last year when you guys were dealing with all of the you-know-what, I was just on the sidelines

going, come on, dude, just get your shit together. Congratulations to you for doing it. Holy cow. Excellent. 500. Walk us through that tail yes now hold the trade stop the trade okay so let's see my biggest I was 494 that was in 2009 oh so you were exaggerating about this whole thing you couldn't get

the last six Jesus Christ I was I was impressed. Well, you know, fully clothed, there was like six pounds of denim to cover that body. All right, all right. But no, I mean, I'm not even embarrassed to say, I mean, I did have a weight loss surgery in 2009. But here's the thing. I lost a lot of weight and I put a lot of it back on. So to get back down to where I am now, I had to do it very natural because I had stretched my stomach back out and everything. I wasn't going to go through that again. That's why I said I started

eating right. I cut out soda. I cut out a lot of the fatty foods and stuff. I started being active. Like I said, I do the cycling and stuff. That's my lifestyle now. The fact that I'm self-employed, I can get up in the morning and go out for a 30 or 50 mile bike ride. I do that every day.

It's just a lot of hard work. That is a lot of saddle time. Better shape than all of us. Now you know why I need that. People can go from fat to fit. Now we know why the bag bomb is necessary. Now you know why I need the chamois butter. How many miles a week do you get?

You're strapping in for 50 miles plus. You want those balls with chamois butter. I just stepped up my weekly up to 200. How many miles a week do you get? You're strapping in for 50 miles plus. You want those balls. I just stepped up my weekly up to 200. I'm trying 200 miles a week. It started at 50 and then 100 and 150. That's great. My car doesn't do that. Congratulations.

That's the thing now though. I tell people all the time. I'm in my bike more than I am my car now. I'm going to pull up a before picture for you guys here. I tell people that all the time. They're like my, I'm in my bike more than I am my car now. I'm going to pull up a before picture for you guys here because I tell people that all the time. They're like, no, don't fuck away. You weren't such and such. So how did you get big?

You know, in high school and in college, I was really athletic. I played football from age 8 through 21. I played up through college. And we were doing two-a-days. We were doing summer drills. I was eating 6,000 calories a day, but I was also working out four and a half hours a day.

What position did you play? I was actually a right tackle. I was actually the smallest right tackle on the offensive line. I was 6'4 and about 260. I used to coach tennis. On the offseason for football, I would coach tennis so I would on the off season for football

I would coach tennis so I would slim down to about 210 so I yo-yoed back and forth for sports back and forth back and forth to get into the right shape for the sport and then once I stopped sports the appetite didn't go away so it took about 5 years but I just kept gaining weight every single year

so that's not that uncommon for college athletes I mean look at all like the pro like pro pro or former nfl players are like all fat you know i mean you look at like these are all like super big but i mean i've sat and hovered around the back and forth between 290 and 310 now for the last three and a half years and i finally said fuck it i've had enough of this i got tired of every video i did people like wow jay you're getting f. Like I was gaining weight and you could see it on the videos. You could see the progression of Jay's getting super fat again.

And so the haters like fueled my desire to make a change. But then the supporters are what kept me going. So in the last two and a half months, I've already lost 40.9 pounds in two months. Nice. We're only 40 pounds now from my ideal weights of 220 i'm just over 260 right now wow so what was your what was your track because you said you went from huge lost a bunch when you had the surgery and then you got bigger from there so how big did you get after the surgery before you were then like oh let's cut it back down was that the 290 310 thing

you were talking about i'd gotten all the way back up to 330. But then I started being able to kind of keep things plateaued right around the 300 mark, plus or minus about 10 pounds either way. But the thing was I had my second child, and so I was doing the YouTube thing full time. I was working full time, so eating habits were just huge. I was grabbing fast food or anything out of the frozen section that I could any time I needed to eat. So I wasn't fueling. I was just eating whatever

and I wasn't sleeping. So all those things factored into weight gain again. So I just got to the point literally where I had enough and I watched the way things were going down with wings and I tried rooting for them but I just said, you know what? I'm going to just do this for me. Fuck it. And literally overnight made a change on January 26th of this year uh and and the progress has just been insane good for you man I hate talking about it I know like it just kind of flowed out but it's because I've had this conversation a dozen times now like on camera but I don't like sounding preachy because I know what it's like I know what Wings was going through and I know what you know Boogie is going through and because I I know boogie

personally and I chat about it all the time there it's it's a it's no different than addiction to smoking or drinking or drugs or whatever it's a different chemical thing in your head that you can step away from that stuff you can't step away from food so it's the opportunity of slipping is always there I have my own opinion on that and and i haven't been as big as these guys but like okay it's addicting i get that but i think it's addicting in the same way that like the internet is or gaming is like there aren't the same kind of withdrawals that you might suffer from like cigarettes or heroin or what have you and then

the other part of it i sometimes hear which is is like, you know, hey, it's easier to quit cigarettes because you don't have to have a cigarette, but I have to have a food. I have to have food. It's not an excuse guy because I feel like, you know, you might have to have food, but you don't have to have hungry men. You don't have to have two plates. You don't have to have...

Those come down to habits. You know, that's entirely habits. And the thing is, we make excuses for our habits all the time. And then we start justifying, oh, just this once, just this once or whatever. And then you start coming up with the excuses of, oh, I have a thyroid or I just am addicted and you start using it as you're out. But that's really what it took for me to start getting this to work again was realizing, you know what? There's no one to fucking blame for my situation but me and i'm the one in charge of this so it it took probably a good 30 days of just you know no matter how much i wanted to go have a pizza or something to just be like no today i'm having my proteins and i'm having my sweet potato and i'm and i'm

just going to do it and then after about month, it became programmed to where the rest just kind of fell into place and it's on autopilot now. Right now, when you guys were like, hey, the show is starting and I was a little bit late, I was like, oh, fuck, I was in the kitchen eating a salad because I just finished our podcast and my wife made me a salad and I was eating that. And I enjoyed that food now. So once you reprogram yourself, but it's the reprogramming yourself that's hard. And I don't make excuses for me or anyone else, but I at least can empathize the mindset. But I also have the mindset that there's no person

on here that can overcome whatever it is that you're dealing with, as long as you actually train yourself to do it. Another thing that I think is true, and you probably will too, is that someone else can't fix you, right has to come from internally there are a fair amount of people that have asked me to fix wings kyle gave it a go you know i don't know if you saw the boot camp i watched those many times over and over not not because not not not for the reasons that kyle you know that you were doing with with jordy but uh the laughs though right yeah well it at the time I was when I was going through my weight gain again and I was kind of looking I was kind of looking for like just the mindset I was like okay you know Kyle's fit why is Kyle fit and why is Jordy not why am I not what

what's different what what's different about your life versus mine and why why isn't it working and then it just came to realize that none of it was working because I kept looking outside. Well, what's Kyle doing? Well, why isn't it working for me? Well, because I wasn't doing what Kyle's doing. I wasn't eating right. I wasn't exercising.

So, of course, the result is going to be... Please don't make me a good example for eating right. I just don't. I don't know why I'm able to get away with it. I skip a lot of meals for one thing, I think. I just put a picture in the Skype there, by the way. Wow.

That's not even recognizable. That was me when my first daughter was born. Incredible. So that was 2009. Wow. Yesterday, I'm trying to remember what I ate yesterday, but I think it involved um i made yellow rice which is like yellow rice and like a can of black beans and a can of like diced tomatoes

that was lunch uh i ate a large pizza uh for like second lunch uh there was a taco bell extravaganza as i like to call it in the evening which is basically go to taco bell and spend about 25 bucks i ate like oh it's so much i ate like half the fucking menu uh and then like at night it was to Taco Bell and spend about 25 bucks. That's a piece. I ate like, oh, it's so much. I ate like half the fucking menu. And then at night, it was like, I guess it was like one in the morning. I was hungry again, so I had a french fry extravaganza. So I basically just fried

four potatoes and covered those with my own special salt recipe. Four potatoes? Four potatoes. I don't believe it. Maniac. Here's what I think. i'm not done there was oatmeal there was oatmeal too i make my own like apple cinnamon oatmeal i grate the uh the apples on a cheese grater and uh and yeah i had my oatmeal around two in the morning this is the reason that fat people think that they eat the same as thin people like kyle is that kyle rattles these

off like a tale of extravagance like you need to realize that this is not the norm. And then when Kyle goes out to get a big burger and he has a fat friend there, that fat friend thinks, oh, Kyle eats like this all the time. This is what Kyle eats. And so they rationalize because they don't realize that Kyle is skipping meals way more often than other people and eating way less, just a quick handful of almonds here and there just to, you know,

get through the day, stuff like that. I don't know. Clearly his diet's not perfect, right? We're not going to pretend he has a disciplined, you know, nobody's diets are perfect.

I mean, I, I, uh, I have a personal trainer that I've been working with for three years. So that's what I do my strength training with. So I, I cycle five days a week and then I do,

um, lifting three times a week. And my, uh, my trainer, he's, um, two timestime Mr. California bodybuilding champion. So he's a bodybuilder. And so he understands diet and how to fuel and how to feed your body.

So he helped me come up with a plan that had plenty of deviations that weren't going to hurt me. But we came to the conclusion that one or two cheat meals a week is fine, where I can just go out and be like, okay, for this meal, as long as I'm not eating a smorgasbord, then I can just not worry about it. Because 95% of my fueling is proper, so it's not going to hurt me. But if you're watching this right now and you're overweight and you're thinking, well, then I can do that. You have to ask yourself a serious question, though.

Can you have that one meal and not fall off the wagon? If you're the kind of person that can have that one meal and then you're just going to be craving that next one and that's all you're thinking about, then having that cheat meal is probably not a good idea because you can't necessarily reward yourself with what you're damaging yourself with if you can't control it. And let's face it, if you get up to as big as I was or whatever, then obviously there was a time when you couldn't control it.

So you've got to be honest about it. It's almost like a food war. Food Wars, by the way, is one of the featured shows that Crunchyroll wants you guys to know about this month along with Naruto and Sailor Moon Crystal.

That's right, crunchyroll.com slash pka. You get free for 30 days, 1080p quality. It doesn't matter what device you're using. It literally works on every conceivable device. And it's

approved by Duct Tape Man himself. So go check him out and get a month for free. God, you're the best segue in the history of Painkiller already. Oh yeah, great time for an ad read. But anyway, back to you, Jay. So I was curious about this because I've heard about the weight loss surgery quite, like the lap band is what it's called, correct?

No, I had a Roux-en-Y which was a bypass okay what did you have again? it's called a Roux-en-Y it's a full bypass so my entire large intestines bypassed oh wow did they just pull it out like the old one? pretty much it's almost like a horror movie

we'll undo this we'll tie this it's all laparoscopic but the thing is i see when i first got it it was like okay um i just had a car accident four or five months prior to that which was nearly fatal it took eight firefighters to get me on the gurney then the gurney wouldn't stay locked down in the ambulance while they were transporting to the trauma center because i was too heavy for the gurney i kept trying to tip over uh because you know just the wheels lock in and so it ended up being four firefighters in the ambulance just to keep the thing upright they

couldn't get an iv in me because they were too busy struggling with holding me down um so it was that was like my final straw where i was like okay fine you know i don't care about the judgment cause i want to live my daughter was with my wife was three months pregnant with my daughter my first daughter at the time um so i was like you know i i don't care about the judgment i'm just i just want to live longer so but then i didn't change anything i was like oh cool i've got this magic wand now and i'm gonna be this magic fat loss machine and i can eat whatever i want and that worked for the first year and a half but the thing is over time when you start introducing more and more foods to your diet, and the surgeon told me too, he's like,

this is not a fix. This is a tool. And if you use the tool improperly, you will gain your weight back. We've all heard about these people who've gained all their weight back after surgery. My brother did it. And I was on my way there. So I'm sorry, Merck. I forgot what your question actually was.

He asked about the surgery. Oh, no. Yeah, continue. No, I just, so I would get this negative reinforcement. Like if I ate something that was fatty or sugary, I'd get like super sick, right? I would just feel like, I never threw up, but I'd feel like throwing up. I was sweating. I was having palpitations.

Total reaction, which was what the surgery is designed to do. It's designed to negatively reinforce the stuff you should need. But then I got to the point to where I built up a tolerance to it and just powered through it. That's how bad my eating habits were. What were your favorite bad foods? I was never really that much into fatty foods, but I was a sweetaholic. Like ice cream, chocolate, just like, you know, well, Hot Pockets,

things like that just just things that you know for the most part pockets are pretty good i heard that you forced me yeah i don't care well but like was there a point when you were after you'd gotten the surgery where like was there a definitive point ever where you were eating a lot more than you knew you're supposed to and you could feel it getting uncomfortable and then you just chose to forge ahead or was it such an addiction that it was like i you didn't even notice you were just doing what you were doing you know what happened was um i would you can only eat so much like a small portions but it would be i would eat every hour or two which is actually the way it's designed to work but you're supposed

to eat every hour to the proper foods uh in small portions. But the thing was, I would eat one piece of pizza and then another piece of pizza an hour later. And then by the end of the day, the whole pizza is gone plus whatever I eat in between. So the eating habits didn't change, just the quantities. But over time, you'll hear the term like, oh, they stretch their stomach back out. What actually happens is the part of the intestine that they attach to your stomach, that starts to stretch out and become longer like a clown balloon. Think of it like that. So you start to make an artificial stomach that's bigger.

Then you can eat more and eat more. And then over time, you eventually pass that deficit where you're eating more calories than you're burning. So over time, you just slowly creep it back. So you have a sudden fall and then like a gradual, you know, incline again. That's the thing that I think young people don't get. Like, you don't have to misbehave too badly to gain like, you know, three quarters of a pound a month. Yeah. And then long term. and that's nine pounds a year when you let five years go by and all of a sudden you're 45 pounds more than you were before and you've done a thing and it was only and if you had this surgery in your 20s and you're expected

to live you know 70s or 80s and it's say five to five to ten pounds a year look out it won't be long before you're obese again yeah but the cool thing is like i'm kind of living proof though that that tool is still there no matter what you do that as long as you start like using it right again exercising and eating right then the results can be really good and they'll flip around and now i can't eat nearly as much as i could three months ago because when you when you're eating right and you're exercising then your stomach naturally shrinks again woody can kill it woody can fucking kill it we were at a brazilian steakhouse he ate so much meat he ate more meat than like a wolf would have eaten joe lozon was over there like pushing it away flipping the red card over i was

long done even chiz we all gave up no no no woody won that night it's an expensive meal and you treat yourself to all that protein woody thumbs up you did the best job that night don It's an expensive meal and you treat yourself to all that protein. Woody, thumbs up. You did the best job that night. Don't let Kyle kill you. I've been looking forward to that meal for like a year. We went to the salad bar. Woody's like, fuck that shit. Exactly. It sounds like Woody won this in spades.

He used a salad plate for his meat. I just... So we went to Fogo de Chão. that's what the restaurant is called it's a brazilian barbecue and i had been there once maybe three or four years earlier and i wanted to go back since and uh i like saved my appetite up all day to the point when i arrived at fogo de chow i was sick like i had a headache it was nausea i'm like protecting myself from lights i was dehydrated i you know i wanted to bring my appetite but i i kind of overdid it and i i brought myself in like a worn down broken state and uh and then i fixed it you know joe

was talking about how much he ate and it was like yeah i'm not done yet and uh by the end he's got so there's a uh a little flip card. You leave it green side up if you want more food and you put red down. Everyone was just like, I submit. They put their red up, except me. I'm just rocking it. That's what I don't like about those Brazilian places

is that it's almost like you have to admit losing at the end of the meal. Because it's like you want to win. You want to keep going until the guys come out and they're like, we just simply can't make another pig for you. There are no more to be had. But you have to submit, and I don't like that. We've sacrificed way too many goats for you tonight, Mr. Woodward.

Do they stop coming around, didn't they? I don't know. It was getting kind of late. Maybe that's what it was. Maybe it was towards the end of the night. At first, they brought the food so fast and furiously that it was hard to keep up.

I've only been to Brazilian barbecue once and I just felt weird because I couldn't identify the meat easily. They've got a really thick accent. They're like, do-do-double-steak. And I'm like, do-do-double-stick. And I'm like, do-do-double-stick? No, no. How specialty.

And I'm just like, well, that's different from the first thing you said. But okay, yeah, yeah. It doesn't matter, though. It's piling up. But is it me? But I just can't help but keep being reminded of the movie Bridesmaids. You know, after they went to the Brazilian barbecue and they all started shitting in their wedding dresses and stuff

at the store. I've been to Brazilian barbecue once and I felt sick after. Maybe that's normal. I didn't even try to play. Dude, I felt sick afterwards. We're in the hotel and I'm up in the middle of the night using the potty like, yeah, it's good.

Get this out. I bet it felt like someone was just pouring magma right through your butthole like a spaghetti strainer that was not my favorite uh that was not my favorite meal of the trip i really liked portillo's if you're in the chicago area and you've never been to portillo's it's it's so fucking good i love that place that was my favorite meal of the whole trip portillo's was excellent my favorite meal wasn't even about the food i liked the first meal because it was like... The one I wasn't at.

You were there. You just came midway through. But it was like the launching pad for that. I didn't eat nachos. I don't understand that. I feel like we left with nachos. When I got there, there were like crumbs and stuff. I didn't want to pick through those.

They brought a second one. I already got the good ones. They got a second one. The chicken nachos came. I'm so sad about it. You weren't there when the chicken nachos arrived? By the time I got there, they were long gone. The pizza arrived a few

minutes after I did, but you know. You should have had Kitty order two of every appetizer for you twice. There were two! There were two of those. They ate them all before I could get there. It was the launching pad for the trip. I didn't get launched properly. It was the

next day before I was enjoying the trip, I't get launched properly it was it was the next day before i was i was enjoying the trip i guess no that was a that was a great time i'm looking forward to doing the next one uh i think we're gonna go back i'm going back july 25th or whatever it is i'm doing another event is that set in stone are we doing it again or i'm like 90 sure yeah yeah and there's that ufc event so yeah i think it'd be cool if Joe came and I came. Joe, if this gets to you, score tickets, just saying. What'd you say, Kyle? Maybe Taylor can make it.

July 25th. I will do my damnest because I would like to play some paintball. I haven't played since the last time we all played. The best part about that trip wasn't even the paintball which i've heard woody allude to multiple times like and it's not the meals it's just like it's a lot of fun hanging out yeah that's true i will say the shit the paintball was better on this trip than i'm used to like normally the paintball is a little uh exhausting you know there's a lot of walking involved and and i am god i don't want to put down living legends but the nature of it is there'll be like 200 people versus 200 people

in a spot and i don't care how good you are it's hard to have any influence on that you can either cower in fear and just occasionally hoping to get one guy which does nothing or you can be brave and insta die and and that's the nature of it but in this where it was like 50 v 50 if you could take four or five guys or something you've done a thing yeah it's not so dangerous to advance from like obstacle to obstacle but you can succeed at it and i've been to team i've been to living legends this it's pretty overwhelming like you said and especially when you start dealing with the other aspects of it, too, where they start bringing out the vehicles and the grenades, and it's just so much.

And not only that, it's almost like it's such spray and pray. You can't actually see your targets whether or not you're hitting someone. It rains pain. Yeah, it's insane. It rains painful paintballs. I was fucking making it rain. I love my gun. I had so much fun with that damn.

There were so many times when there were like five or six guys over there, and Joe and I are in a building, and I'm like, on three, we're going to scare the fuck out of them. They're like, yeah, yeah, all right. One, two, three, and it's just like. It's shooting like 30 times a second or something ridiculous. You can hear it. His gun sounds different

everyone else is like his is like it's louder and it's auto and it's consistent and it was cool but how many people's days did you ruin throughout the trip kyle definitely those in that video that i linked earlier there's there's two or three or four there that i shoot at like point blank range and i feel like those people had some bad days. How many kids did you make cry? I don't think anyone cried. Everybody at this event was like a teenager. Yeah, they were all teenagers and older, I'd say. There weren't

too many little guys. But if I'm feeling better this weekend, I really do feel like shit right now. I have the flu or something. But if I'm feeling better this weekend, I haven't cleaned my setup up or I haven't put it away yet, so i'm thinking about going and playing some more this weekend and recording some more footage with the remainder of my first strike rounds i've got so many left i was in full-on field commander mode like the first map i asked like the refs and stuff

like what's important you know what are some lines of sight here you know important like rooms to own and stuff and uh and then i would just gather up like six eight guys and say all right here's what we're gonna do we're gonna do this etc and um then in the second map i did again by the third and fourth map people are asking like hey woody what's the game plan on this one and i'm like i don't know like walking around we're not supposed to be run in front of me no supply drops and uavs dude i i led from led from the front and it was totally effective, especially day one. Day one, my KD was like three, which is good for me.

I'm normally like a one and a half KD player. It's good for anyone in a big game like that. It's true. I really was taking out on average three per round. More than that, map control. By the time I'm down, I've got eight people on your flank. know it was super effective on on the first day on the second day i was like one

and a half kitty i don't know what happened but um it was fun to lead teams everywhere i went like and living legends if i tell people what to do the response is mostly like fuck you paintballs hurt but yeah in the pka trip when i say like you know we're doing this there's a lot of people just more than willing to join my group and and we make it happen so it's a good time definitely so now you have the general that general reputation yeah yeah i uh i rallied myself up a little group and i got i got like four guys to run with me and another like eight or ten to give me covering fire and then I ran somewhere we weren't supposed to go. The ref's like, you got to go back! You got to go back!

Final battle. I know exactly when it happened. Yeah, it was cool. Then we had that runner. In the final battle, this is what happens. They take a couple paintball courses, two or three, and they combine them into one great big one. Two, Kyle says. In the middle

of it where they meet, they put like a barrel with a slapstick, which is a PVC thing, and you have to keep it pushed away from you. Anyway, throughout the day, as we're like rushing to stuff, different people would say they were fast. And I'm like, oh, you can go in the front, whatever.

And they weren't fast. They were normal. You know, like everyone's kind of same speed when you put the pod pack and the guns and the clothing on and stuff. And this guy, the map before the final battle was like, I'll go first. I'm fast. And like everyone else in the guy, the fucker was fast.

He was really fast. As a matter of fact, this weekend he's running the Boston Marathon. He's like a competitive collegiate runner. And he was there with a friend who was also really fast. And like in the small map, I was like, whoa, he's literally fast. He's not like all these other people. Faster than everyone else by long distances. So in this final battle, we spawn like, I don't know, like 800 yards or something from the push the slapstick.

And he's like, I'll you know before anyone else and i'll press it and then when the teams go it'll be you know like competitive and god he had hit the stick and he ran back and met me like halfway and he's like i got it no one else was there so fucking fast i ran flat out to that thing and by the time i got there it was long done yeah he left his gun behind and everything so he could be extra fast and then there was his buddy was there remember the other quick one just hiding behind a tree not moving total camo whatever 12 feet from the stick and he couldn't see him like he had like a camo jersey on or something he's like you see my buddy he's

gonna go next and i'm like i'll see him and he's like he's like he's right there he's right there by the tree no like by the third time like oh yeah that's awesome he was like six feet away if they did somehow hit the stick then he would have been right there these guys were speedy and it was fun and uh it was it was the pka group against the open group people we didn't know and we dominated them so badly it was uh it was just unkind. So, good stuff. I think in July they're doing a scenario game. It's Call of Duty World at War. And they open up all the fields and they have one giant team versus another

giant team. And so I think that'll be fun. I want to take some part in the scenario part of the game though. Instead of, like you were saying last night, it's pretty much in the past that living legends were kind of just going out and playing team death match and not worried about the objectives but i'd like it if we were out there with some radios and kind of in a team uh trying to do stuff getting you know capturing suitcases objective

flags people whatever it may be especially in the pka group like even if there's only three or four of us we can easily rally like a 10-man team that gets stuff done. Especially if you're breaking the squads and you each have radios. With Living Legends, we have to get strangers to somehow obey my orders. People who watch this show, there's usually

a lot of guys enthusiastic to play with us and we can make a team. Yeah, get ourselves a little death squad. That'll be fun. Is World at War kind of like Living Legends where the respawn is you just go back to the base and start again? Probably, but I just don't know. Go back to the base.

I wonder if that was funny. I think he was going for funny. It's forever lost. Shit. That's funny. was going for funny what was I gonna say oh to duct tape man what he has your Minecraft sword he took it dude it wasn't even it was in my suitcase and Collins like you bought me a Minecraft sword, an iron sword? And I'm like, yeah. You bet it, buddy.

So, I hope you're okay with the duct tape, man. I can send you 15 or 20 bucks, whatever it is, if that makes it right. He actually left it in the back of our rental car. I think we were all supposed to sign it, and we drove away with it instead. But Colin's super happy. Yeah, on the bright side, Colin to sign it, and we drove away with it instead. But Colin's super happy.

Yeah, on the bright side, Colin's loving it. So I guess it's kind of a win-win there. Game of Thrones. I have seen all four episodes. I will not spoil anything. The reason I watched all four is that I exist on the Internet, and there are people out there who will just enthusiastically ruin stuff for me.

So I felt like I needed to protect myself. I've seen some of them twice. I've made a decision about how I want to intake my Game of Thrones in the future. I think that I like watching the show and then listening to the books afterwards. So I am

here for suspending my book listening adventure. the books afterwards so i am here for suspending my my book listening uh uh adventure i think i'm going to listen to the book like in parallel with the show because i got this big yard to mow and uh and i'll listen to the book while i do that but um like you i just follow along so much better when i have the show as a basic structure i didn't realize how like multitasky i was when i'm driving they skipped a ton right off the bat there didn't you notice did you notice that the entire trip of tyrian on the boat just i haven't skipped the whole

fucking thing i assumed there would be a lot there but i haven't read that part of the book yet um uh but but i yet. But there's plenty of other stuff they skipped over. So, I have to admit, I've never seen a single episode of Games of Thrones, but I have been pestered online by so many people telling me that I have to watch it. But I didn't have time for

TV, but now that I do, I've been looking for a show to get into, and I'm wondering if it's worth starting from the beginning right now. How many seasons is it in? They there currently four episodes into season five or one depending on if you 10 episodes per season oh so short seasons yeah here's the thing when i heard you hadn't seen game of thrones it was like this guy i almost envy you you have a world of entertainment awaiting you yeah so i have to wait no you don't you need to get started now well you know that's how that's how you know when i started watching

breaking bad it was like season five so i got to catch up on you know four seasons when i started watching lost the finale had already aired so i could just watch the entire thing all the way through so maybe that's a good thing that i don't watch tv because when i finally pick up something i don't have to do that wait a week for another hour sort of thing. I hear you. Dude, Game of Thrones is top tier. Very good show. Top tier.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, it is the most successful TV show in the history of mankind. Bam. That's one of the things that it has going for it. In my personal rankings, there's only two others. Breaking Bad was really, really good. House of Cards is usually really really good um house of cards is usually really good and game of thrones like after that everything else is is competing for for four

place cards is a great show but like it's in a different league or rather game of thrones is in a different league than it like it's so much more epic and intense and you get drawn into so many more characters yeah it's bigger it It's just bigger. I've heard that it's a series but it's like movie quality. Yes. Oh yeah. It's Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul as well. But like yeah it's as if they air 10 one hour movies

per season. And it is. The special effects are quite good. As the first couple of seasons on Netflix or what service is it on? HBO. Or stream-tv.net. Or Pirate Bay.

There are many routes you can take. It is the most pirated show in the history of mankind. And they don't mind. Really? I don't have any other way to get it. As soon as I do, I'll start paying for it. I think I'm going to get one of those Apple devices and pay for it. I'm happy to pay.

I paid for the audio books, at least a couple of them anyway. But I'm a huge fan. I've seen every episode three times. I've read the books, like the first three books, and I'm in the fourth book now. It's over 100 hours of book reading that I've went through. Well, I can't say someone has ever told me, oh no, that's a shit show. That's a good sign.

Well, what's a good show that's a shit show so we can show that we're not just filleting every good show? Kyle, what's a show that... Scrubs. That's a show that sucks tits that everybody likes. It's overrated. Both of those. Those kids are really talented

no they're not I've never seen it I don't know Kyle you can go on HBO now have you heard of HBO now not HBO go that's the new service right that's the new service where purportedly you'll be able to go on there soon

after your trial's up and pay like I think it's like 14 bucks a month to get hbo and it's just online so you can just look it up on your like a lot it is definitely a lot but i'll pay that for game of thrones and hd and i like uh have you watched silicon valley that show is pretty fucking funny yeah it's very good. Then Veep is very good, too. I like that show. Silicon Valley is right there with Scrubs. Like, it's a fine show, but it's... I mean, it's not...

I think it's good for a cackle. I don't know. Well, I was looking for a cackle. So it satisfied that need. But I think it's better than Scrubs. Well, I am 80% stupid with some laughs in it. On the Game of Thrones thing, I know everybody says that they do

such a great job with the show. The book readers anyway, they're like, oh yeah, they turn it into a show really well, but I just don't think they do anymore. They're cutting out so much stuff, and so much stuff that I like a lot, and it's a bit frustrating. There's only one thing that really frustrated me that they cut out.

It was the battle scene with the fat guy. There's tons of battles. Oh, with Strong Belos? Yes, that's the guy. That's the guy. I really wanted to see him shit in front of the walls and wipe his ass with that guy's shirt or whatever yeah i was looking forward to that and then when they didn't do it i was distraught yeah tearing my

clothes and weeping there's no no shitting scene so yeah uh i guess i gotta wait another month for uh for a new episode but like you i i felt like i should watch all four episodes preemptively uh just not not not really that i'm afraid of someone with a gotcha spoiler, because I guess they could read the books and do that to me if they wanted. But more like the memes and stuff that pop up. I'm pretty good at just glancing at a meme

and taking something from it. I saw a picture of Robb Stark sitting on a subway car, and I immediately knew that Robb Stark was dead. That was enough. I could take that away from that meme. Oh shit, is Robb dying in on a subway car and I immediately knew that Robb Stark was dead. That was enough. I could take that away from that meme that, oh shit, is Robb dying in the next episode? And it kind of spoiled the Red Wedding for me.

I watched all four episodes. I liked them. Jesus, right here. What? Nothing. Nothing spoilers. He won't remember the character names. You're right. I'm too busy over here already searching like, where the hell can I find these now?

I'm over here searching everywhere. As soon as this show ends, this PKA show, move on to the best show, which is Game of Thrones. Start it right off the bat. You'll thank us next time you come on. I wish I had a memory array to zap

away Game of Thrones every night and just enjoy it again. Wouldn't that be nice? To be able to do with a lot of TV shows like oh, now I no longer know what happens in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. And then zap that and watch it. I'd love that. I would be erasing my mind repeatedly watching my favorite shows.

That's why when shows like Breaking Bad ended, so many people felt depression afterwards because they were like, oh my god, there there's not gonna be any more of this every week you know keeping me on the edge of my seat and they're just sad over like it's no more it's like they broke up with a girlfriend you know that you can you can easily uh feel that i feel like you feel that times 10 if it's a show that you've picked up through netflix so that you're watching you watch like five seasons straight that's how The Office was for me. I cried. I was so into The Office.

I was. It's been several years ago. You told me you hated that show. The Office? You hated Michael Scott. Oh, I do hate Michael Scott, but I love Pam and Jim. I love Pam and Jim's relationship together. You like the gayest part of the show. It's my favorite part, man. The Pam and Jim relationship.

That's what makes it work for me. And their constant pranks on Dwight. I like Dwight and all that. Michael Scott can be funny at times, but what I really, really enjoy is the whole Pam and Jim saga. That's my favorite part.

I like that the Dwight storyline came out really good. By the end of it, you're rooting for him, and you realize how effective he is. He was a great manager. The dream came true. It was cool. He fired a gun in the office.

You're being a little judgy for a Georgian. Yeah. I can picture Kyle sitting there, though, with his pint of Cherry Garcia being like, Pam Roy isn't right for you. You need to see it. Scooping it out there.

That's probably literally happened. Yeah, absolutely. Would it make you jealous that I've been to that set? Ah, really? Office building in Pennsylvania? In Scranton no it's right in the middle of North Hollywood

it's funny North Hollywood's not even like it's not Hollywood it's just on the other side of the hill and it's actually a dump and they actually leased out a real office building and leased that building specifically for the show so it's like carpenter car

repair shop some fake Scranton sign and then a cul-de-sac so it's like carpenter car repair shop some fake scranton sign and then a cul-de-sac so it's a real building there and at the time i was working the company i was working for i was we were doing some work in that building and i walked in i was like this all looks really really familiar and i saw like you know the the maroon like transam out front and everything i'm like oh wow i saw scranton business park i'm like no way and i walked inside like dude i'm in the freaking center of the office. This is so badass. I'd have been taking so many selfies at that place.

I'd want to sit at Jim's desk. That'd be great. Yeah, it was pretty awesome. But for it just to be in the middle of everyone else's business, it's not like a closed soundstage with a card shack or any of that. It's just a regular old building. I've been to Scranton. Does that count for anything?

The Electric City? Yeah, I interviewed for a job there. it was for this dot-com company i think they were called amerihealth or something close to that and they at the time they competed with webmd i just googled them they're sort of a different company now but uh they lost maybe because i didn't work there i don't know but uh yeah that was their thing. They wanted to be like the online health information lookup category. And one of the things I offered

was I had a pretty broad background at the time. Like I had done a lot of programming, a lot of sysadmin. I worked in a lot of different languages and that fit what they were looking for. But I ended up working, I think, maybe Cisco, i forget somewhere else instead but yeah i'm good at job interviews it's my secret skill now i have this constant

nagging in the back of my head like watch game of thrones i'm telling you i hate that i hate when i get that though because i know i can't wait to zip through season one it's incredible the greatest thing about game of Thrones is this. So it's got a huge scope, a big scale. In the intro, when it's coming on, it's playing the music everyone loves. And they kind of do this animated thing where they're going across the map of Westeros,

the mythical kingdom in which this whole thing takes place. And if you start paying attention to that, since I've seen every episode so many times, you get a real view of how big this whole thing takes place and if you start paying attention to that since i've seen every episode so many times you get a real view of how big this this whole world that this show takes place uh in is so they'll they'll go from character to character across the world and you know hundreds of miles away from each other in like time the times of like horses and ships with sails on them and and all that's nice it's it's kind of like lord of the rings a bit it's it's got that feel to it i think it's called an epic like they build an entire world and there's like i'm gonna make up a number 15 main characters that's a lot of main characters and

you're following all their storylines and and i'm sorry kyle on. Well, the best thing about it is that no one is safe. Like, no one is safe in this show. Typically, like, let's just use The Office as an example. You know Jim's in there for good. Jim and Pam are, like, parts of the show. They're not going anywhere. Yeah, right? They'll kill Jim off. They'll kill Jim off, no fucking problem.

They'll cut Jim's head off and make Pam watch. Even when Jim, like, goes to some other office, he's still a part of it. You know he's coming back. It's a thing. Game of Thrones? You just don't know. Jim's not safe. Jim's not safe.

They will rape Michael Jim watches. They will do the worst things you can imagine. They will. Yeah. Anybody that you love. It'll be like this whole show revolves around jim obviously he's a protected class captain kirk doesn't die yeah by kirk you're done do it all the time so is every episode a cliffhanger no no okay so some episodes come to come to

your conclusion yes oh that's the thing they do a lot they there's a payoff like like you'll be waiting and you're like oh there's gonna be a big fight like this because i don't want to have like heart palpitations constantly at the end of every episode no they'll they'll give you the your payoff that you that you feel like you've paid your money for so it'll be like one champion versus another champion and you and you hear that like oh they're gonna face off one of them's gonna die like like if two champ like typically in a show like that yeah movies like there's no yelling uncle in a sword fight yeah there'll be some kind of a cheat right where the king is like stop i made a champion good sir one of the champions you may look to fight another day zooming by on a horse and they hop on and rescue him at the last

second. They're hanging from a noose and somebody shoots it with an arrow and they get away. Not in Game of Thrones. Heads roll. Oh, they're burning that person at the stake. Wow, they're just going to keep on burning. The flame's coming slowly.

Is this really going to happen? Yep. And that sounds to me like it'd be very true to form though for the time period it's i you know i've tried to like narrow down the time period and i just went finally except it's not earth right it's a very earth-like fantasy land there's some tech that seems out of place there's some magic but the magic is like almost semi-believable some people don't believe in the magic but it clearly seems to be there right there's seasons i've i've read long reddit uh posts and comments where people go back and forth and try to explain why the seasons are

as they are in the in the land of game of thrones which is like 10 years sometimes the winter might last for like 50 years and the snows pile hundreds of feet tall and the cold winds come at the night and children are born and die without ever seeing the sun right but sometimes the winters only last like three years and it's no big deal you never know and and there's like eight-year-olds who've never seen winter because there's been a summer elite this isn't a spoiler but in the first like episode of the show you learn like oh this eight-year-old's never seen anything but summer he's a child of summer and that's his entire experience you know he doesn't know what yeah what hardship is like and it's a really old world like they um their history goes back

thousands of years like they can count their uh they're like, oh yeah, you're the 998th commander of this thing. Or you're the 300th king. There's a lot of history. So it's a very creative writer's staff. It's very good. It's R.R. Martin. J.R.R. Martin is the author. It's from books.

But it's scary. So the guy... Is he 67? He's fat. He he 67? he's fat he's 67 and he's not healthy he's morbidly obese we're very worried about him if I could give him a little bit of my life force I would so he'd get those books cranking out

if you could take 20 pounds off him would you? and take it for my own? yeah, take it for your own on your body and then work it off all for the sake of the realm if if this would if he would like get me like a like an advanced copy totally like i could burn pounds off in a month there's totally strings attached to that

like i wish you could do that as a service like I give you I give you like 20 grand and 20 pounds and just be like Kyle saw this and you'd be like okay and then two months later you burned it and I'm like oh thanks now we're both in I totally could do that

I guess you could sign some sort of waiver and I could put you in some sort of scenario where I hunt you you know for a week no that's not what I'm imagining at all. No, no. I don't want to mystically give you 20 pounds. That's what the whole Wings of Redemption boot camp should have been. It should have been the deadliest game.

It should have been like, what things I know promised you a month full of weight loss, dieting tips, and fundraising, but in fact, run! It's like that sunny episode where they're going to hunt people people you don't punch a man it's like kyle i don't know i don't want to run i'm not interested in that no get the get the paintball gun out start hunting him with it yeah it'd be great get the pepper

balls maybe or maybe one of those stun uh i've got all kinds of less than lethal gear over here that you can hunt a man with and make it interesting. I'm getting a neck gun. Of course you are. A neck gun? N-E-C-K? A net gun. A grappling hook gun. As you do.

To catch cartoons. I want the soda gun. It's all the same thing. It shoots cans of soda out of an ar-15 yeah that'll be cool what yeah it's awesome i've seen it on youtube um it's very cool like full cans of soda yeah you would want them to be full for the like that's like what they're waited for and stuff it shoots full cans of soda uh 200 yards i'm'm making that up. Does that sound right? Yeah, sure. Something like that. And it goes flying.

It's pretty neat. Bear me! That's what I think would be funny in a video if I was just like, bear me! And some guy 200 yards away shoots it and then just catch it really with a baseball glove. It tears all your fingers off and it's tragic.

They don't break. I think Jay is looking for Game of Thrones right now. Is that what's happening? I may or may not be downloading it right now. We're going to lose him on this show because we told him about Game of Thrones. We'll be over here watching it. So do you have a rack mounted system too,

Jay? What, in my house? Yeah. No, I don't have any server racks here because I just don't have any room for it. We rent this house and we're saving right now to buy in a couple of years. So I'm going to make sure that the house that I buy actually has like a server, a central server room. That's going to be like a must for me. But yeah, everything here is kind of like podunked together. So you're in California, somewhere near Hollywood? I'm 60 miles east of

la gotcha yeah so insanely expensive real estate it's it's stupid when i buy i'm pretty convinced it won't be in california but what's your internet speed right now uh 300 by 20 that's nice that's really good i wish we had more up but fiber isn't available right where i live it's available uh what a quarter block down the road, but I live in like a patch of the county where there's no underground conduit here. And so they can't run the fiber lines here. So they're working on pole-mounted fiber that's shielded from the sun. But by the time that ever makes its way here, I don't want to be here.

You can get anything you want. It just takes stupid amounts of money. They'll run it for you get a quote um what was i gonna say oh google fiber is coming to my new house that should be neat it's gonna be a gigabit isn't it each way yeah shit yeah but i don't know when i mean that it seems like there's two extremes there's kansas city where every week there's like some new suburb rolling it out people are are doing Reddit posts. They can't even get upvoted anymore because Google Fiber is so common there.

And then there's like the Austin route where like they don't seem to actually be doing it. They're just talking about it. It's not going anywhere. They announced Raleigh in like December maybe, something like that. And as far as I know, the first house doesn't have it yet. And it's mid-April. Is Kansas City like the place to be for it as of now? I didn't even know that.

Yes. Yeah. Kansas City, Missouri, I think. But I'm not sure. Yeah, but not only do they have it, but it seems like there's a new suburb and stuff rolling it out all the time. They're just going at full speed there. And everywhere else, it's hardly happening. I'm cool with that.

I'm not. I'm one of those everywhere else's. I would totally love to have Google Finder. I think the reality is, I mean, I've always lived in the city, and so has my wife. So we kind of want to get out to someplace more in the country. And, of course, that means I'm going to be more further isolating myself from these wonderful technologies. Yeah. and of course that means I'm going to be more further isolating myself from these wonderful technologies yeah I can't speak for California but that's definitely how the case works here over here you know if you live in the middle of like a what they call medium density housing which is pretty much any like subdivision then you get decent internet speed but if you go out

to the farms it can get really slow I live in what's considered the second smallest city in this area. You know, all the cities here touch. Not like there's a gap in between the cities. But the city boundaries of which I live in is one of the second smallest in the area, and it's 122,000 population. I mean, in the immediate area of where I live, there's, I think, 4 million people. So it's a little crowded. A little bit crowded.

Yeah, I get that. That sounds kind of awful. Yeah, I mean, it depends what you want, I guess. But the flip side is, the exact spot I live in, I'm an hour from snowboarding, I'm an hour from the beach, an hour from the desert. So pick your sport. You want to go snowboarding or skiing, you're an hour away. Enjoy the beach or L.A., an hour from the beach, an hour from the desert. So pick your sport. You want to go snowboarding or skiing, you're an hour away. Enjoy the beach or L.A., an hour away.

The desert, you want to go shooting or you want to go ride some quads or something. Yeah. The thing that sucks is I'm also a gun enthusiast, and where I live, I can't shoot here. I've got to drive an hour and a half before I can even shoot. So that's kind of the other thing is I come from a military family, and we like to shoot our guns, before I can even shoot. So that's kind of the other thing. I come from a military family, and we like to shoot our guns, and I can't here, so that's another factor. Isn't it pretty difficult just to get guns in California?

I don't know. Yeah, the California gun restrictions are a little stupid. Bullet buttons are kind of a pain in the ass. Ten round mags. What's a bullet button? I've never heard of that. You can't... Like an AR, you push the mag release.

Right. It's actually a hard piece of metal that won't allow the mag to release unless you take the tip of a button and push it in. It's like recessed. So that way you can't do a quick reload. You have to use something pointy to push out the mag ah jesus really fascism i've not heard of a bullet but yeah if you haven't

seen that's because you're not a faggot there's no reason to hear about it we got real shit around here it's so much with a passion i hate it i won't i refuse to own anything like that i hate it much i want a thousand rounds in there. I want a belt of rounds. A backpack. I want that backpack to be supplied by a crate. I need a harness where I can pull my pallet and drag it along the ground.

Where we go shooting in the desert, usually there's no rangers or anything that come out there and bother anybody. But let's say the sheriff did come up and was doing compliance checks. If you're caught with a standard mag release on an AR here in California, it's a felony. If you have a mag with more than a 10 round, it's a felony unless you're grandfathered

into the mag rebuild kit, which if you have something like Magpul, then if somebody knows their shit, they'll know that that's a dummy together mag and you'll still be a felony because Magpul isn't old enough to have been grandfathered. The laws out here are so stupid. It's so anti-Second Amendment.

Damn liberals. Yes. On the other hand, my machine gun will be here next week. I ordered some 100 grand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What kind of machine gun will be here next week. I ordered some 100 prep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What kind of machine gun are you getting? Kyle, I'm unsubbing right now.

The MK-47. That thing I made the video with the other week. The half AK, half AR thing. Oh, I know that one. A couple of those. You know, your reaction, though, what he didn't surprise me when you were like, what's a bullet button?

Because so many people, because I did a video on my AR, and you could tell who's from a southern state and who's from a western state and who's from a midwest state because pretty much anyone out in California was like, yeah, fuck the bullet button. And the rest of the country is like, what the fuck's a bullet button? Because I demonstrated it on the video, and they were like, that is the stupidest thing that they've ever seen. And then all my magazines are

riveted from the factory. So there's a rivet. Do you have to just put a little screwdriver in there or something to just hit this button? Or the tip of a bullet. That's why they call it a bullet button. Like a 556 NATO fits in there

perfectly. So yeah. So it takes things that I love, and it's like, okay, well, California, in the eyes of California, I am a terrible, evil felon bound to happen. Bunch of silly stuff. It's no fun.

Well, my cousin lives in North Carolina, and he's just like, oh, yeah, I'll go out in the backyard and start shooting with my he'll start shooting drum mags on a shotgun and it's like man, I fucking hate you. I gotta drive an hour and a half to go play

with my bullet button and my 10 round AR mags. Where in California do you live? I'm 60 miles from LA. Okay. I'm inland, so I can just head right up the 15 to the desert out in Barstow, but still, I shouldn't have to do that. I want to just, oh look,

there's the forest, let's go shooting. If you're shooting here in Bureau of Land Management, it's also a felony because of all the fire dangers right now, everything is red flagged. They've red flagged every single shooting range in the area. So you can't

play with your dragon's breath uh well i could if i wanted to to start quite the uh the the news feed but yeah i mean because see here's the thing that was another thing the government out here the liberals out here were able to do was to be like oh fire dangers okay perfect shooting is not good right now so nobody shoots so they've been under red flag for four years. Oh, wow. It's been red flag for four years. You can't shoot anywhere except for on private land. So up in Barstow, there's something like 150 acres of privately owned land that the owner,

like back in the 50s, was like, fuck, shoot, I don't care. And it was put into the estate. So everyone just goes up there and shoots. Oh, that's cool. I have a whole new topic. Let's hear it. This is a website. It's called The Tweet Hereafter.

Oh. Yeah, I showed it to Kyle once before. This is the last tweet that people make before they die. So everyone who's made this thing has died thing has uh has died right after this tweet like if you scroll down a lit a bit here look at anything like ryan knight there third from the bottom his last tweet was used to mean a lot and then it's just over like a bunch of these are kind of like suicide messages a bunch of them are are

not suicide messages it's about to be an eventful night to say the least right it's about to be an eventful night to say the least and then you notice the died time it has no has no time it's just a day yeah harris whittles just a reminder my email is harriswhittles at gmail.com. Thanks! Not anymore! This great Plit guy, right? For the past four months I've been working on a new backend pages to the website. Check it out. Let me know what you think. That seems like wasted time

at this point. And then he died. He finished the backend pages, asked for some feedback, and now he's gone. This guy said, do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do. Let's see what the last thing I tweeted was. Bad advice, apparently.

I tweeted that I'm going to be on PKA. I tweeted that I'm going to be on PKA. Oh, shit. It even says how they died. I see. Where does it say how they died? Gunshot, suicide, heart attack, lung infection. Where are you? I don't see that. Oh, it's just on the bottom

Bottom left of every tweet Oh, I see Mine mostly say unknown Yeah, the Greg Flitt vehicle accident This guy said Weight loss today was looking good Until Cameron wanted to stop for a snack On our cycle

Sorry, and it's a picture of the snack Died in a vehicle accident. Maybe right after that. Maybe they still found the quarter pounder. Why live healthy if you're trying to live a healthy life and then a car just comes out of nowhere?

Check out the, it won't last. It'll never last. Gunshot. Yeah, geez. I'm depressed now. This one's even better. Don't ask me how I'm doing, bitch. I'm great. Gunshot. Jeez. The next day. What a sad

website. Oh, no. Gunshot three hours later. Dude, this one, it's a suicide. Adios, folks. Suicide note is here. Good luck, y'all. you want to hear the suicide note yes and that's by kate von roeder too long didn't read goodbye i'm killing myself long folk long form hey folks this is a post that's a long time coming 19 years of depression give or take it's been a long and brutal and full of a lot of tears and angst and it's finally coming to a

close 10 days ago i purchased a shotgun and today after the required california waiting period i Wow. my head for a little over a week now and I'm still not sure how to find that balance between too long didn't read and here's why I put a double up buckshot shell into the roof of my mouth. Initially, my plan was to detail about my pains, waxing laborious about my struggles with transition. I shouldn't have done it, not because I'm not trans, but because I didn't have a fraction of the personal strength to succeed at it. Only some of the most amazing trans people I've been privileged to know, unlike some of the most amazing trans people I've been privileged to know, unlike some of the most amazing trans. My physical struggles, heat sensitivity, and more recently hair loss are my mental pain. I can't even look at myself in the mirror, but paragraph after paragraph of whining seemed like a poor way to go out. Most of you have had enough to deal with my bullshit. Instead, I'll say this. I'm scared as shit, but I think it's

going to get better. I don't know what comes next, and that's intimidating, but I've always Instead, I I'm excited. There's tears, but under this, there's a giddiness, a spring in my step that I've never had before. All the hurt and pain and constant need to compare myself to all the normal people I meet. That's all done. And that's very cool. I want to tie this off with an apology to those of you who I inflicted myself on over the years. Whether it's reading the shit I spew on the Twitter or suffering my vortex of negativity as a colleague, I've been an albatross around the neck of a lot of people I respect and enjoy to those who tried to befriend me,

whose friendships I abandoned to allow to wither and die. I'm also sorry. I wish I knew how to be a friend. I just wasn't wired that way for these sins and more. I'm sorry. I'm just not a good person in any case. I want to thank all you wonderful folks I've known over the years. Maybe I'll see you on the other side.

Maybe not either way. on the other side Maybe not Either way, all the best and good luck Kate Kate is very well spoken Not anymore Was That's deep Yeah

Well thanks, you've just ruined Game of Thrones for me I told you that was going to be depressing I incredibly I keep saying Man, going to be depressing. I incredibly wanted that topic for weeks, and I keep saying, man, it's so depressing, though, because, you know, they're dead now. This is going to make me think about every tweet I ever tweet. This could be the last one.

I guess it's depressing, but, like... Well, especially these ones that's not like a pre-planned out heartfelt quote or something. It's like, this is going to really make them think. The worst ones is like, George Donaldson. Harry Potter night tonight again with Sarah. There's nothing like it. The movies are okay. And then it's heart attack.

So it's like, this was just some dude who was tweeting out, I'm having another Harry Potter night with Sarah, whoever the fuck that is, you know, just another day. Like those ones are almost more disturbing, or are more disturbing, I think, than the ones where they're like planning it out and then send their dramatic last tweet and then kill themselves.

Yeah, I agree. It sort of reminds you of your own life's fragility like uh yeah tonight could have been harry potter night for me and then heart disease like it could have nowhere right like it sleep one little sleep take comfort in the night's embrace because in the morning the sun will open up your eyes and you'll see the world is fucked up dead shit this this guy new york new york big city dreams but everything in new york ain't always what it seems overdose i i must be somewhat macabre because like i i find this so deep and like i don't know it's meaningful it's not well it's not but it's not often you get to look into

like kind of maybe not necessarily final moments considering some of these have days that go by but like final at least public thoughts on one social sphere you know of you could tell the ones that are tragic versus the ones that are clearly depressed oh there's Paul Walker going about their lives

yeah can you believe how much money can we talk about that There's Paul Walker. They're going about their lives. Yeah. Can you believe how much money, can we talk about that? How much money Fast and the Furious 7 is making? Sure. I haven't seen it, but how? Let me get the latest numbers. It's going to be over a billion. Wow.

It's going to be like the Titanic numbers. Paul Walker must be psyched. I don't think so. Dude, he's rich. Would be. Alright, let's see here fast and furious seven see look at this cory monteith oh it's a shark tornado and then overdose that was the last he was already high when he made that tweet. Absolutely. He was halfway into the grave at that point.

But he made that tweet. Yeah, it's setting records in every country it's released in. Wow. It's making tons of money in China, making tons of money in India. Go ahead, Jay. What are you going to say? Well, this guy. In besieged Libyan city of Misrata,

indiscriminate shelling by Qaddafi forces, no sign of NATO, died war. Kaboom. Yeah, this is a downer. Maybe I appreciate a downer more than most. In other news, season one is downloaded. Oh, very nice. Nice.

Now you went HD, right? I mean, you've got 300 megabits down. You're not going to waste your time. Oh, yeah. I got all of HD in, I don't know, 15 minutes or so. Well, all I will say is that it's definitely one of those shows where you've got to be fully into it. It can't be on in the background.

Oh, I can't do this anyway. But you're in luck. There are a lot of characters. There are lots of different names. And you'll have it down as long as you pay attention. But if you don't, it can be really confusing and hard to think back on the show. Like, yeah, the Lannisters.

The Lannisters. I'm particularly fond of that bearded guy. The white guy with the beard. I like him too. The gray hair. He wears the armor sometimes. Does he carry a sword? He mostly carries a sword. Sell me? My wife is one of those people who, I don't know

how she does it, but she can sit there just messing around on her phone while the TV show is on. And I'll quiz her. I'll walk in and be like, my wife is one of those people who i don't know how she does it but she can sit there like kind of just messing around on her phone while the tv show is on and i'll quiz her i'll walk in and be like hey what's happening right now she'll be like she'll just rattle off like what's happening i'm like how the fuck can you do that if i'm not looking at the tv like focusing i can't i don't catch what's going on she can't do that to game of thrones i promise you this shit is hard it's like a history test it really is like every After every episode, you're like, wait a minute. Baratheon? Ah, the story?

Ah, fuck. I gotta watch again. I'm gonna fail the test tomorrow. It is tough. I'll have to watch it with her because she really likes the fantasy stuff. I was talking to someone yesterday who had seen every episode twice and I was like, oh yeah yeah that scene where you can see

who's actually doing the poisoning and they were like what you can see it I was like yeah I watched every episode three times so I actually saw it when she did the poisoning and I was like oh fuck I can watch again

it's that in depth it's hard to pick everything up on your first combing through. I love it. I'm happy for you. You're going to like this. It's a first-class show. I've really just had no desire

to watch TV because there hadn't been anything on. The first season has tons of nudity. By far the most nudity in the first season. I'll nudity. By far the most nudity in the first season. I'll wait till bedtime for the daughters, but hey. Yeah, yeah. It's not a child-friendly show. Definitely not.

It's funny. I've said this joke a lot. It is if you want to have cool kids. I've said this joke a lot, but it comes from my mom. You know the beginning when they're like violence, adult situations, nudity, sexual content. My mom will be like, hey, all my favorites. It's going to be a good show. Yeah.

It's the top of the line right here. Did you guys see where that ESPN reporter, that lady, was talking shit to the lady at the tow yard? Like really talking down to her? Yes. No. I did see that. Maybe we should watch that video. It's pretty funny.

Can you get the link? Yeah, it'll only less than 10 seconds. So give me the, the cliff notes on the backstory. So there's a really pretty ESPN reporter and, um, they don't explain the whole backstory,

but she's, I guess paying a toll or perhaps a, perhaps a parking lot fee or something like that. It almost seems like the Better Call Saul situation. And for whatever reason, she's not happy with the fact that she has to pay this bill. And she just completely berates the person who's there to collect her money. And you'll find it to be really one-sided. I'm working on finding... Oh, wait. I found it.

I'm queued up at zero. Alright. I am working on it. It's 59 seconds long, right? 108. Oh, I clicked the wrong one then oh there's two different links i put it in the skype you did but i was on a different one okay i'm now on yours i was like who started without us i did my mistake i am ready whenever. She is very cute. Yep. Are you guys ready? Ready. You won't like her at the end.

Ready. Set. Play. Okay. ESPN reporter. Has a tantrum with a parking lot clerk. Makes fun of female education. I have a news, sweetheart. I will fucking sue this place. Okay, that's fine. And I'll play your video, so careful.

I'll play the video. That careful. I'll play the video. That's why I have a degree in law. It should have stopped right there. Yeah, when she looked up. Where is she? She's at the tow yard. She's taking people's money. Oh, how can you tell?

It just seems like the scenario. Wait, she's in a tow yard or Oh, how can you tell? It just seems like the scenario. Wait, she's in a tow yard or a parking garage? It looks like she's trying to get her car back. Yeah, it looks like she got towed. Ooh, her little smarmy smile. Because I have a brain

and you don't. Yeah, because that's why you got the job at ESPN, right? Do you think that's why? Huh? Oh. Wow. Such a bitch. That is someone

who has never been told off and been given the benefit of the doubt in every situation in their entire lives how else could you get through life and act like that to people that's not even a bad day kind of rude

that's just like an I'm entitled I'm better than you and I know I'm better and everyone else watching this will take my side because I'm hot and they want to fuck me. She even warned her, too. She was like, this is being recorded. She looks up, and that's where the one without the brain is clearly obvious. Yeah, that should have stopped right then and there.

She's like, oh, yeah, I better not be a bitch. But see, that's the level of entitlement. No, Kyle, she was holding back. there she's like oh yeah i better not be a bitch right that's the level of entitlement is that no kyle she was holding back have you guys ever been ever been bad in public kind of like i've got a dumb story anything even a tent like that not like that but so i first out that lady at mcdonald's does that count this is like three weeks ago i was um i was fussing at my wife i don't remember the topic but i think it was something related to the home renovation stress or whatever and uh as we're

going to eat i don't hold the door for her but it was kind of an asshole move like i sort of like let it shut towards her because i was mad and uh and then the guy working there was a fan he's like are you woody's gamer tag it's like fuck he saw that I felt like a douche acting like a douche yeah and that's my cunt wife yeah I didn't hold the door for her I was a dick

well that's not at all like this so yeah that's what a piece of shit that's so mean to that lady for no reason I'm sorry I just felt the need to share this don't share it with the audience but I saw this on reddit Yeah, that's... What a piece of shit. That's so mean to that lady for no reason. I'm sorry. I just felt the need to share this.

Don't share it with the audience, but I saw this on Reddit. It was called Best Transition Ever. Ooh. I'm so glad I'm not sharing that. I've seen it twice now just let that loop it was funny the first time through I was like

wait what's the transition and the second time oh okay yeah like my ninth time through I totally get it when I'm with Kyle yeah when I'm with kyle and he links things like that it's always pleasant to just see that there's nothing completely gross and awful in them just like nobody getting shit on nobody getting spit on nobody being gored to

death by a fucking ball and so it's a nice change of pace just being on his list to text message it's ridiculous isn't anything it could be anything it could like today it was like a stack of 12 um helicopters or something like uh what are they called parrot drones parrot drones right and he's got a dozen drones stacked how many were there really am i exaggerating i think there's 10 but that's not all of them there's a bunch coming uh because i know i'm getting some like the ar drones i think and i'm getting some of everything they make i think you get a lot of good pictures being in kyle's group texts um uh six yeah oh there were 10 and then two more i think i'm just gonna cover the top even though i don't think anything sensitive is there.

But this is the picture he sent today. Shit, I covered the picture. There we go. He just said like, hey, this came in. There's like 10 drones and two headsets. And sometimes there's sets. We get early access to FPS Russia videos, like interesting stuff,

stuff that he can't upload, which is the best stuff. Yeah. Oh, the best. Oh, like... I wish I could show it. I'd show it on TV. If you're a girl who fancies Kyle,

tweet him a picture. Definitely do that. Definitely send him nude pictures so I can see. That's just not true. That would never happen. That would never happen. You gotta stop the inflow.

It's not even true. I've done that before. A lot of my friends and family that are local to me are all computer geeks too. Every time a text comes in they're like, oh god, what are you showing off now? I can empathize entirely with what

you're going through yeah it's uh just the nature of what i've usually got going on i end up with some bizarre pictures like that the one of the chipmunk the other day sitting on the toilet was funny shit like that i i like costumes i feel like costumes make everything better so i've just got lots of costumes at my house like i'm always like want me to be, like, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, give me five minutes. Like, I'm ready. So I think we're going to do that a little bit coming up. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with the drones yet, but I wish I could dress up like King Kong

and, like, have them, like, swarming me and then start shooting them with, like, fully auto pistols or something, but I'm still working on that idea. Kyle is really good at video ideas kyle is is extraordinarily like he's got so many he can just throw them away it's no big deal he's good to have around at parties good to have around youtube he'll just be like this is what i'd do if i were you and you're like that's totally better when i would have done i'm looking forward to when

we when we put your swimming pool in i want to be part of that process oh yeah at the same time as the fence probably oh god why i'm not doing that fencing hey get that fan that fan seemed ready willing and able to everyone was looking at your muscles last weekend right now you're all buff and everything you're like built for fence planting no no not even uh show them all should you get show us what you got i got my poncho on for now i guess it's just i don't know it's uh kyle is more buff than ever before here he is see he feigns the humility but he indulges you in the end. Because he wants people to see.

Hey. Go ahead. Put it up there. Look at that shit! He's got fence-building muscles. Grr. I've got paintball scars, though. That's the... Oh, yeah. You've got to get moving to

flush away the old blood. The fencing will fix that. Is that how it works? You've got to get moving to flush away the the old blood that's like the fencing will fix that is that how it works You gotta get moving to flush away the old woodcraft woody over here with his ridiculous 15th century schemes put a couple of bleaches on it I'm so sick. I immediately broke into like a cold sweat when I took that thing off. Oh Do you want it back on now? Or do you think you'd keep it on?

Yeah, it looks back on. I feel awful. Interesting. Because if I broke into a cold sweat, I'd wear less. Does he wear shirts that he doesn't make himself? What do you mean? Like FPS Russia shirts. That's all I ever see him in for the most part. We both had Game of Thrones shirts on for the season

premiere. It wasn't planned out or anything. We were just rocking the Game of Thrones. Oh, and you guys watched it together? It didn't work out. We blamed Chiz. We couldn't get the tech situation set up so we could actually watch. Days in advance, he's like, I've got an HDMI cable.

We can feed it into the TV. It'll be set. And then on game day, he's like, well got an hdmi cable we can feed it into the tv it'll be set and then on game day he's like well it doesn't carry the audio oh fuck has he finished his train odyssey home yet he has he's home now yep yep it uh that train odyssey is ridiculous i uh having his own room though kind of made it fun i think i think that would have made it better i wish i think if it had wi-fi i'd be sold that's the thing well it it's mixed because i think part of the reason that he enjoyed the train ride so much was it was a little forced time off you know it was like a like i don't know the peace and solitude that you don't get when you have the internet yeah there's something to be said for that i can see that actually like if you're on a train it's

like a road trip but you don't have to be concerned with the actual driving you can sit in your car bring a bunch of dvds or a book a few beers have some fun come prepared with that entertainment and just get to hang out with train folk which apparently are cool very interesting subsection of humanity especially in 2015 he was saying that train folk were successful that these were people who you know did well in life and they were interesting to talk to and you could learn from i oil baron steel men cruise folk are the coolest i was trying to tell them like so so we go on these i haven't done one in over a year i think but we went on these long cruises like the most recent one went from California to Hawaii to Mexico to California.

We did another one that went around the Mediterranean and then to Florida, across the Atlantic Ocean. And everyone on that cruise did something in life to enable them to take a three-week cruise. It's both expensive and time-consuming. And I would just sit there and talk to the water filter king of West Virginia and learn about his business and what made him tick. Or some other guy, this Australian, who's like, you've got to get passive income as if it's that easy. I own all these shopping malls and grocery stores and stuff.

He's like, I don't work at all. I just make a lot of money. Do that. Okay. It sounds like a plan. And, you know, of course, there's Dick, the telephone book guy who I've talked about in some of my videos before. The cruise folk, not the week-long loops around Florida have all sorts of people, but the long cruises, the three-week-long ones, like a like an investment seminar and a life coaching

session and stuff and i'm just sitting there in the hot tub which sounds really gay but like you're talking to strangers about how the hell they got into a hot tub in the middle of the atlantic ocean and um it's cool it's inspiring my wife and i went on a cruise a couple years back it was it was a one of the one week uh mexican cruises and you're right. You meet some really interesting people on those, especially at dinner time, because you sit next to the same people every time. Some of these people, you're like, okay, you're cool. And sometimes you're like, you're kind of weird. You're weird.

And I want to go back on another cruise. Of course, we went on our cruise. And as soon as we get back is when all that shit with Carnival started happening so then it was like sickness stuff yeah the sickness stuff the two of the boats catching fire and having no power and they're like being towed back and it took like eight days with no power no water you know it sounds terrible yeah from the from the stories of people who came off those boats they said it's just the whole boat smelled like shit that's the thing like no water you know they've got tons of water and stuff you know that you can

drink but the toilets aren't flushing right so the whole boat overboard I would imagine you could all the ships I've been on it's really dangerous I just feel bad for the people on the lower deck you're on the second floor you're screwed

well that's a simple... I think everyone would find their own way. I just feel like, well, I've been shitting into the pool filter for a week. No one noticed. The one where we went from California to Hawaii and Mexico and stuff,

the Pacific Ocean is rough. You know the old World War II movies like Victory at Sea where these giant ships go? That's what it was like. difficult for the ocean is rush is rough it you know the old like world war ii movies like victory at sea where these giant ships go that's what it was like like it of course i get seasick but i got i drove myself out of the bed just to feel like 50 mile an hour ocean wind and the spray hits you even though you're like five decks above sea level and and you know the hurricane thing where like you lean super far forward like into the wind like i'm doing that on the on the deck of a ship in the water it was it was a neat experience have

you been on a lot of cruises no maybe like 10 okay so so like that seems like a lot i don't know so so you so you know that the best rooms are in the midship. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all we do. And my first cruise, I was like, oh, wow, this room is great rate. What could possibly be wrong with it? It wasn't until the next morning when we were making dock when I realized we were like 14 feet from the fucking anchor room. So we wake up like 4.30 in the morning just gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah. It sounded like a war was like happening. I was like still half drunk from the night before my wife says i sit straight up and dead like a zombie and i go

what the fuck is happening i started screaming at the top of my lungs and i look at the because of the tv and you could look at the outer cameras of the boat on the tv right and i look and then we're like at port making port in mexico i'm oh my God. Every morning there on out where we've hit port somewhere, which are like four stops, was some sort of waking up to this massive chain thing going on. So I learned at that point, okay, now I know why the front of the ship has some amazing rates on rooms. No, we actually get the bottom center rooms.

They're less expensive, but the way the boat moves, like on its fulcrum, they move the least. And the rooms that are right next to the elevators are usually cheap too because they're the noisiest rooms to be at. Yeah, so we like to be just a few in off that. And also in the Disney ship anyway, in the bottom center was where Hope's age group hung out for a while. So we were

just more comfortable knowing they were like 50 feet away as opposed to like six decks away did you think that the disney cruise was worth it because i'm thinking about taking the family yeah yeah especially like the disney cruise is geared towards kids so right like they're just fully designed to babysit your kids for you and to give you guys a break because my daughter turns six tomorrow and she's like, she's so she's a six and she's a Disney fanatic. Like six years old. They literally have like,

you know, so in the, um, in the areas that they play, they'll like go from like a little playground to like something else. And they have secret tunnels to take them from one spot to another. So they don't mix in with the strangers and it helps them keep the group together and stuff. Disney's like hiding kids away

so they're out of sight, out of mind. No, it's not about that. It's about making sure it's easy to keep the group together. So they're not out mixing in with the other walkways so they can't get lost. I got you. Plus it's cool. And actually big sections of the secret tunnel

have glass sides and stuff, so you can see everyone else, but the group doesn't get split up. I hear they have kind of a baby program, too, there? Yeah, they call it the... There's a term for it. I forget, some Disney-eyed term. But yeah, they literally will watch your one-day-old for you, too. Wow, that doesn't seem safe.

I made the one-day- up, but it's pretty young. I just gave birth on this ship. Like a month? I'm sure they take your month old and handle it. By the time we go, my youngest will be about a year and a half. I can just see Mickey Mouse bottle feeding an infant while you get drunk in a hot tub.

Mickey Mouse breastfeeding an infant. They're designed to handle your one and a half year old and your six year old will be put in here with peer group and they'll be playing video games and making friends and stuff like that. You'll put her next to you for all I care. I need a vacation. Dude, there's a...

I've talked about it on the show before, but there's a Disney commercial where they literally advertise how parents have sex. Let me see if I can find it. Is it showing like, kids, go watch a movie. Is it like that clip that Kyle sent us? No. Kyle's clip was a bit more raucous.

I'm so proud that they are the first $500 backer for the Chris Hansen Kickstarter program. Kyle's clip was educational, is what it was. You know, for 500 more, we could have gotten a producer credit. Oh, son of a

bitch, we missed out. What if it was hashtag RSK? Yeah. Just a wildly inappropriate thing. It would have been worth it. You guys should ask him something like, so how would a predator go about not getting caught? Yeah.

Very serious taking notes, pen and paper, the whole deal. Someone like you out there really shutting the child predators down. How do you get linked in this day and age? How does a guy like me make it happen out there? Alright, can we watch this commercial together? It's only 30 seconds.

Let's see here. I am queued at zero. All right, ready, set, play. We went on a Disney cruise with Mickey and Goofy. I had my own club and my mom had a mud bath with Daddy. The ship had a great spa. That's not funny. And guess what?

At the island, Captain Elk was there. Did you skip that? That was a great spa. That's not funny. And guess what? At the island, Captain Hope was there. Did you skip that? That was a year ago. That was my baby brother. His name is Joe. But mom calls him a little souvenir. Obviously, we all had a great time. Disney Cruise Time.

All right. Obviously, we all had a great time. Loud mouth child. We went on a Disney cruise. I hit it twice. But yeah, so that's... And I swear, they're designed to get you laid on the ship.

It's part of their thing. They will watch your kids for you and get another souvenir if you want one. Oh, great. Second thought. I might not make it. You going to fail on us, Kyle? You going to drop?

Poor Kyle, roughing it through. You can forge your head. I believe in you. You're professional. A professional Russian. All of a sudden, I'm listening to AM radio. He's an 8-bit. No, I think we went down to 4-bit on that one

so what kind of mic you rock in there i'm curious this this is okay so this was actually a mic sent over for review it's by it's actually a monoprice mic and you know the actual name of it is large diaphragm condenser mic they name their stuff like that yeah but i think this is like oem or odm for like one of the mxl mics i'm not entirely sure but i've just been too lazy to hook up my actual podcasting my sennheiser mic backup so i just kind of left it plus it looks kind of cool sounds good yeah it's it's it's good but i also have it hooked up to an alysis multi-mix um uh preamp so it's got it's got some you know eq on it a little eq i got a um I'll have to pimp them when I get their name.

But I saw Joe Rogan's podcast. He had this really amazing boom on his mic. So I wanted to know what it was. I tweeted out. And then they tweeted me back. And they hooked me up with some equipment, which I'll show off when I do my house tour for people listening. But I need special booms because i have these three big monitors

it has to reach over and come back down and uh they totally hook me up they light up when you're like live talking and i'm i'm very excited i'm gonna have a mic upgrade system for an upgraded mic system for my new office i want to get one of these foam black things because everybody has one but me and it looks really professional. I used to have a big old pop filter on this thing, but the screen on here does a really good job at protecting the diaphragm, so I don't really need it. Yeah, this one, it's RE20 by Electro Voice.

It's supposed to be a nice one. It's the same one Rush Limbaugh uses. Electro Voice is really big with radio stations. It's supposed to be also like a pop filter kind of built in. I was popping anyway and people fussed at me.

Now I stick it on there. My mic is the finest that Woody would send me. I was wondering where that was going. It's a good mic. If you see that mic, it dominates live performances. It both sounds good and it's durable. Is it like a Shure SM58 or something?

Yeah, 57 and 58. I get it mixed up. It is. Which one? It is a 58. 58? I know my shit. Yeah, 57 and 58 are the same.

The difference is one is like a flathead and the other is like a roundhead. 58. 58? I know my shit. Yeah, 57 and 58 are the same. The difference is, like, one is, like, a flathead, and the other is, like, a roundhead. Internally, they're the same. Yeah, my buddy who watches or listens to PKA was texting me about mic talk, and I was just so phenomenally uninformed. He's like, well, what's that one you have? I'm like, I don't know.

Woody sent it to me. He's like, what's it called? Just tell me, because it looks kind of cool, and it sounds real nice. So I had to go get the mic and like check for labels before i knew what to even tell him but it i don't know what this is i have no idea either i think it's a sure a sure sm7b yeah it's one of those yeah i've got one of those i really like how much money i wanted to spend, and Woody picked a microphone out. That's what happened. Yeah, a microphone, the boom, too, and your mix amp.

You know, you name a budget, and I just put them... You know good stuff like that. Yeah, when I was using my girlfriend's old-ass desktop for the podcast at first, and I needed a computer, I just sent it with like a price range and with half the options and i just picked one and that was that was the whole extent of my purchasing process did you guys even hear me like you guys are all it comes and goes yeah a little bit a little bit but yeah you you you're i think it was like five something like 550 was your limit or something i'm like all right so i got you the best computer i could notebook i could find for 550 it was not bad yeah i was looking for a chop

yeah this thing works great he's like yeah this thing works great there he is sorry uh it started to look like one of those old Razer flip phone videos for a second there. Jay, I got into an online argument because I like my Mac. I have a MacBook Air. So here's the deal. Oh, gosh. You're already dealing with fanboys.

True. But these were PC fanboys. So I've had lots of PCs. Many of them over the years. I couldn't even count. I would get a new one every year for work, notebook. many of them over the years i couldn't even count i would get a new one every year for work notebook and and my experience is that after about a year you get what they call windows rot like things have installed themselves and i'm not like a total noob like i've been a professional computer guy

i would uncheck all the extra stupid stuff you know even now oracles like bundling in ask jeeves and shit like that but you know i was real. But it seems like after a year, especially after two, there's just something that's gone wrong. It's slower than it used to be. Even now, I've got some VPN software that wants to launch. Yeah, you start getting a lot

of corrupted registry in PC. Corrupted registry or DLL hell or whatever the heck it is. I think it's the package management that makes it run bad. Now also have a mac and it doesn't do that it was expensive like for what it is you know it's not a super powerful computer i can't really make videos on it but um it's good for like traveling or just kind of you know doing your browsing thing or even like some gaming depending on what you play so i do a lot of sysadmin from linux and um and the mac has it built right in it's got all these color schemes for the terminal or whatever and um i'm happy

with it and the battery lasts 10 hours even now that it's two years old the battery still lasts 10 hours if you use it for five hours it charges in 30 minutes if you use it for 10 hours it charges in an hour these things are amazing to, like that ratio being so good. And even two years later, like I have no desire to upgrade. It's as good as it was the day I got it. It hasn't slowed down. The battery hasn't broken. It's great. And some of the things I like about it, like it has built-in integration,

so it's easy to SMS. And I guess Android has that too. It's called AirDroid. Have you ever heard of AirDroid? Yeah. It's a lot like because iOS on the phone will also integrate iMessage onto macOS. Yeah, and that's amazing to me.

It just sort of started working and now I type every opportunity I get. I'm over 40. I'm not really one of those guys that are great with the thumb keyboard thing yeah built into an iphone but i've been typing since i was a kid so um when i if i can you know if you guys see me writing like full sentences in my replies i guarantee you that was from the mac yeah and uh i'm just really happy with it but i got like extreme hate and karma hits and stuff like that. But the moment you mention Apple, that's what happens.

That's what happens. It's the same thing in my world. If I tell people, hey, I got an iPhone. I have an iPhone. I also have the Galaxy 7. I have my iPhone because I like simplicity on my phone. I live a technical life. I don't do anything hardly on my phone.

The wife has MacBooks. She also has a desktop i built her but she has her macbook and it's just the mere mention of it mentioning mac in the pc realm for me you know everyone just kind of like goes off the deep end it's kind of the same thing if i mention console the the the pc you know the pc master race folks that follow me they go off the deep end and, you know, I'm on something, blah, blah, blah, stupid shit. There's no winning those arguments. I had two Samsung phones. People give me a hard time because I get the name wrong, but getting names wrong is my thing.

It's like the S3 and S4. What were they? Yeah, the Galaxy. Yeah, I had two of those. And they were great for vlogs, by the way, because you could switch the camera mid-roll. And they were high quality. And you could do the picture-in-picture.

Yeah, it's a good camera. Or it's a good phone. switch the camera mid-roll. And they were high quality. And you could do the picture-in-picture. Yeah, it's a good camera. Or it's a good phone. But the challenge was it crashed. The specific symptom I had is when I left the map to go anywhere else, Google Maps would crash. This is an Android. Google stuff should work on an Android. But yeah, so anytime I wanted to change the song or something,

I'd have to re-enter the address I was going to while driving. It was a wreck. I've got news for you. iOS or iPhone is the same way now. Ever since Steve Jobs died, everyone was like, oh, the quality is going to go to shit. And it has been. iOS has crashed on me more since owning this iPhone 6 than any of

my other iPhones in the past. Really? Mine's never crashed. Yeah, this one here will give me like, it's called a springboard crash where it just all of a sudden the Apple logo appears and you're back to the icon screen, you know, the home screen. Or I'm in Safari and I just get a random crash to desktop. So what that is,

that's like bad memory allocation in iOS. And I only know that because this company I work for, we wrote software for iOS. And so it's just little things like that are creeping into the system. Or like I'll rotate the phone and everything will – like half the screen will orient landscape and the other half is rendered portrait and it didn't actually go.

So the only way I could get it to work is to restart the phone. Stupid stuff like that. I've never seen any of that, but I believe you. I wonder what we're doing differently. Maybe I'm doing less you're probably doing less or i'm or i'm just going longer with resorts no this isn't jailbroken i used to jailbreak but i don't even see the point in that anymore i just don't do anything on my phone because when i'm out like other than just kind of doing the normal like checking up on the social media stuff i don't do anything on my phone. Yeah, I don't do much either. I use the Reddit app. I use the browser.

Kyle's like, fuck it, I'm out. SMS. Kyle's sick. I'm trying to keep up. But yeah, I'm not a power user, but it's just where I tether sometimes. That helps. But I don't know.

It just works. I still need a PC because I play games, and I use it to render my videos because it's powerful but um you know i don't know the apple world is nice too well and my wife and i are are shopping for a new laptop for her right now we we went down to the store and we we looked around and we kind of walked away and didn't make a purchase because we're torn right now like do we do we get her a pc or do we get her a MacBook? Because she has a 2009 MacBook Pro, like a 13-inch. And how many PCs do you know that can run six years on a laptop form factor

and just keep going strong? Yeah. And really, her computer is just starting to become a bit slow for a lot of what she wants to do because the tech has changed so much in six years, even for Mac. But, but damn the cost though man 1299 bucks starting for a decent 13 inch pro it's just so expensive i just got my daughter a computer and uh i don't know what's expensive because i got her a yogi or yoga two years ago actually a year and a half ago. And it's done already. The keyboard stopped working

to the point where she had to press super hard. The mouse gave up a long time ago. She had to have an external mouse. And now it's overheating and it won't boot consistently, which is a big deal because she uses it in school. And if it doesn't boot when she needs it in class, then that's an issue. And that's the way PCs have always been

for me on laptops. The hardware is cheap. Exactly. So I got her a MacBook Air this time, the one that just came out, and I hope it lasts for her like it has for me. What grade is she in? Sophomore.

That'll last her through the rest of high school and college, if she goes to college or whatever. But it's that strong of a platform. I don't do fanboys. I don't subscribe to the fanboy ideology. I don't pick a side. I'm a fan of tech. So when people like drawing lines in the sand and then they all want to line up and just turn it into fanboy wars, I don't do that.

I hate that with a passion. Yeah. Yeah. Some guy on Reddit hurt my feelings. I'm just saying. and just turn it into fanboy wars i don't do that i hate that with a passion yeah yeah i just some guy on reddit hurt my feelings i'm just saying and that guy is an asshole and i'll say it he can unsub you and leave minecraft and all that shit for sure yeah screw that guy i um stay brave i was just like they were basically they were saying that you know the new macbook not the macbook air but the new macbook you can see it's only like the the amount of computer would almost fit into

a phone and people are talking about how awful it is and the logic board on this it's only like a quarter of the size of the case the rest is battery yeah and everyone's talking about how terrible that is on reddit and i just chimed in i'm like you know i've got something similar with my macbook air and i kind of just web browse email uh sysadmin and that's where it started right goof off right like i'll watch videos on it too and uh and they were just like oh that's terrible i could do that on my chromebook for 150 and it was like i don't know you know and the piece of work is going to last two years i've always had these issues and and you know they accuse me of spreading fear and certainty and doubt and crap like that and i was like i'm just happy with the thing i bought and that's all yeah you weren't you weren't putting

down pc you were just praising what you have and saying it works for you yeah that's the thing though you get you get your fam you get your family and and the and the fanboy mentality is you know you you use and like something different than me therefore you're putting me down that's how fanboys operate and i hate that so much i can't even i can't even put into fucking words how i feel when i when i watch fanboy arguments and it's it's just i i guess because i don't understand it, it enrages me when I see people take these arguments to just such stupid extremes where both people look retarded. But when it's between consoles, I thoroughly enjoy it. Watching console fanboys battle each other

is my favorite online war. Well, imagine from my perspective, you've got Sony and Microsoft fanboys going back and forth at it. And then, of course, everyone's like, oh, PC Master Race. We're up here, blah, blah, blah. So I've done some videos in the past where I ran over my Xbox 360 with my truck. What is that, by the way? It's a Durango.

It's an SUV. We'll check that. So I ran it over with that. I was turning the tire on, and I did burnouts on it and everything. This was a video I did on Boogie, actually. We did a very similar video. We were like, let's start a protest against Microsoft. This was back when the rumor of always on DRM and stuff with the Xbox One.

So that was kind of our protest of it. So, of course, all the PC Master Race folks were were like yeah, yeah, yeah. But they didn't realize it was already a red ringed Xbox that I had laying around. So of course I wasn't wasting perfectly good stuff. They thought I was. They thought I was crushing a perfectly good Xbox. So later on I did a video in the living room and in the background

you could see my new Xbox Elite that was back there. And I took so much shit. People were like, oh my god! You have a PC! You're a traitor to the PC master race and I thought they were joking and so many people legitimately there was fallout for the fact that I own a console and I'm like what is this

what is this shit I don't understand this those people are silly and I'll say it right here silly are you sure you want to stick it in it's pretty bold you might want to tone that down a spot, Woody. I don't know. You want that to hit the airwaves?

I thought he was going to say, you know, cotton-headed Mickey muffins. Oh, God. Jesus. Yeah, so, I mean, it kind of sucks, you know, having a channel that's based purely around, you know, a particular genre of a niche. It's so drilled down into this niche, but whatever.

There's several hundred thousand people that enjoy it, and I'm okay with that. I figure there's more out there somewhere. We just have to find them. I just blew my nose. So much came up. I didn't know there was that much snot inside my head. I'm always impressed. There's always... Sounds like there's still more.

Oh, I know, right? Like, by the time I walked down here, I had recharged. Uh, totally, totally recharged. It's impressive. It's, it's, uh... We call that efficiency, Kyle. Ah, yeah. I don't know what I'm... Your body's banging on all cylinders to make that much mucus i really do feel fucking god awful i and it literally i really do blame a fan she is as sick as well i don't know if he if he's as sick as i am but i feel like shit and i definitely blame one of the fans because i was not purelling my hands after i shook each and

every one of your i think I think I ate a hamburger. I shook 50 strangers' hands and then ate a cheeseburger out back behind a paintball field. That was just stupid. So I just Googled this to learn. Your body is a mucus-making machine. You typically churn out one to one and a half liters of mucus a day

and it trickles down your throat and you don't notice it. And when you're not sick. A liter a day? One to one and a half liters a day. Most of that trickles down your throat and you don't notice it. And when you're not sick. A liter a day? One to one and a half liters a day. Most of that trickles down your throat and you don't notice it. This is according to WebMD. Too much snow might be cancer. My daughter is getting ready to teeth.

I'm sure she's doing that an hour right now. So it's not the cows producing more mucus. It's that it changed character, and it gets thicker. And when it has mass, you feel it. And when you feel it, you want to hawk. Yeah. There's been some character development in your mucus glands recently. Yes.

And they're becoming salty. There was actually a plot twist, is what it was. Yeah. There was a Shyamalan twist. You thought it was going to be easy to swallow, but it's not. I've also got chest involvement. Where does that play in? There's a Shyamalan twist. You thought it was going to be easy to swallow, but it's not. I've also got chest involvement. Where does that play in?

I feel like I've got some bronchitis maybe, very painful in my chest when I cough, kind of a headache, cold sweats. Do you feel pressure in your chest? No, but lots of nasal pressure, sinus pressure, my head, my ears. Do you feel something like here in your temples almost and in the front? Yeah, temples and there. Everything on WebMD links to cancer. That's the thing.

WebMD cast. Yeah. Diagnose Kyle. Kyle, keep saying your symptoms. I want Woody to diagnose you with WebMD. Alright, let's do this well um let's say I got it feels like a head cold like sore throat

um nasal pressure sinus pressure um I don't know how to describe this but it's hard to hear because it feels like my uh like my uh the past my ears are swollen um really painful cough would you describe your throat pain as sore or more of a sharp pain

um sore but it's in the upper like nasal area of my throat like not down here uh it's it's less like strep throat and more like a nasal thing like it's it's like it's like the back part of it yeah it's like the back of your nose that part of your throat like your head oh this isn't good. You have 404 error. Oh, shit! Oh, no. I mean, just slowly get worse and worse.

Can I get some tech support? Kyle, I'm sorry that there is no recovery from 4. Is the admin awake? It says here you have network connectivity issues. Well, maybe I can make an IT appointment tomorrow and get something prescribed. I don't know. I do have your diagnosis here if you're interested. Yeah, let's hear it.

Let's hear it. You have sinusitis. It's an inflammation swelling of tissues lining the sinuses. Normally, they're filled with air. But in your case, they become blocked with fluid, germs, bacteria, viruses, and fungi. And they can grow and cause an infection. Yep, yep, yep, you're a fungi. Conditions that cause this can be a cold, allergenic rhinitis, swelling of the lining of the nose, nasal polyps, or a deviated septum.

Does it say that Diet Dr. Pepper is good for this in mass quantities? I think I took a wrong turn somewhere because I came up with testicular cancer. Oh, God. Why not both? Could be both. The sudden onset of cold-like symptoms such as runny nose, facial pain, etc.

If it doesn't go away in 10 days, it will last for four weeks. If it's not away in 10 days, then'm gonna go cut duct tape man if it's not away in four weeks it will take four to eight weeks oh that's just bullshit you're just making these numbers up like it's not it's not gone in six days i'll go to the doctor and then it'll last like six days chronic cyanitis could last eight weeks or longer and recurrent cyanitis will be several attacks in a year. Several attacks? That's true.

I'm not even fucking with you right now. I had cyanitis once and it lasted two years. I'm not even kidding. Two years. Oh, Kyle, you're so fucked. I'm going to go to the doctor and I'm going to get a shot in my ass and I'll be fine next week. You're going to say,

cyanida, cyanitis. Oh, that was a Woody level. Turn your bad joke into a dig at me. We call those dad jokes, right? Yeah. They're all the rage right now. I've been told I'm the

definition of a dad joke in a lot of my videos. I'm like, good, that's kind of what I'm going for here. My daughter thinks that she's hip to the dad joke. She makes dad jokes all the time and laughs at them. When is she going to come play Civilization? You calling her out? Yes, I'm calling her out. Absolutely.

I've got her number. There's no way. There was a time when like chiz advanced past me in his civ strength and i had to really go back to the drawing board i had to learn like not not one but two new techniques for like my gameplay i've got it down now i feel like i'm a true civ uh professional uh well over 500 hours of play time i think i got it i can handle her i i think you can because she hasn't been playing lately. Yeah, but I do remember when we were going for a delegate

victory the first time, she knew all about it and we didn't. Chiz did, but you and I didn't. So, she had 500 hours. I've learned so much about that's all Chiz tries to do to you. When you play against Chiz, he tries to get a delegate victory. He tries to get all the other people to pick on you.

It's not fun at all to play against Chiz, but tries to get a delegate victory. He tries to get all the other people to pick on you. And it's not fun at all to play against Chiz. But I've put an end to that lately. How do you combat the delegate victory? I just get more delegates. I build a couple of great wonders to get more votes. I discover all the civilizations. I think that gives me a vote. And it starts the first world congress or something like that.

You just got to be proactive. You have to be the one. It really hard to like beat religion or beat science if you don't just like do it better than them that seems like instead of trying to be you get all the city states and other civilizations in the game uh to vote in a world congress and you basically end up voting yourself in as the world leader it's it's a lot easier to do when there aren't very many players in the game. We play a lot of three-person free-for-alls and stuff, so it's easier to get all the votes in your favor than it would be

if there were five human beings who would never, of course, vote for him as world leader. But since it's just me, him, and a couple of AI opponents, he can usually get them to vote for him. My issue with Civ is I rarely have 16 hours in a row with nothing to do.

You can play COD if you've got 40 minutes. If you've got even 15 minutes, you can sort of jump in, play a game or two, and call it good. With Civ, you need to set aside 14 or 16 hours. It's not that long. Come on, it's not that long. 8 or 16 hours. It's not that long.

Come on, it's not that long. 8 to 16 hours. 8 hours is plenty. 8 hours is plenty. Most people can't just set aside 8 hours, though. You can't just be like, oh, I got nothing from 8 to 4 today. Yeah, that was the thing.

It was 8 p.m., and I'm like, well, it's early enough. I'll play with those guys. We finished at, like, 5 a. a.m yeah and we were victorious at a cost the enemy yeah i i just god that was a long game sometimes we'll break it up into like a couple of sessions we'll we'll play four or five hours one night and then save and play four or five hours the next night i like it because it's long form and it's, you know, instead of like a COD game, which you really don't have a lot invested

in at the end of it, it feels like you're building your own, everybody's building their own little sandcastle over there and it takes hours and hours and at the end we judge and see who built the better sandcastle and I like that. I would rather just set aside 20 minutes and watch crunchy

roll oh you'll want to set aside well i can't argue with that how many episodes they have you could watch food fight food wars one of kyle's favorite shows i haven't caught it yet. Okay. Just being honest. I've seen that one, yeah. I've heard good things. I mean, I've... Yeah, I've heard good things. Jay won the Food Wars. He won the Food Wars. He's a grizzled veteran, and he's a Food War

Medal of Honor winner. That's kind of neat. Yeah, that was great i did not know that about you that that's that's amazing when you said that i was like whoa all right i have many awards i never knew about what do you need topic woody what do you got loaded for us? What do you got in the memory bank? Alright. I've got a bunch of jokes here. Oh, it's a would you rather question. The would you rather

that you've been saving for PKA. Alright. I'll do this. I'll present it to the group, but the idea behind this question is that we are going to routinely reuse it, kind of like the mermaid question, with guests. And it can even be an icebreaker and what's cool is i came up with it on my own so the question is this i will give you

ten thousand dollars per pound how heavy is your fiancee right hypothetically single you how heavy a bride do you pick given given 10,000 bucks a pound? Well, I would just like to call in the Game of Thrones reference here when Roose Bolton had to pick a bride and he was paid her weight in silver.

And so he, of course, picked the largest bride available to him. Yeah. He picked Walder Frey's fattest sow of a grand. Huge lady. And Walder Frey gave her a lot of shit later. It was pretty funny. But he liked her. No, he didn't like her. No. No, he stayed loyal to her through the whole thing, and he's been a good wife, and

maybe I'm misreading this whole thing. I thought he was kind of... I hate to get off on this whole tangent, but it's Bruce Bolton, the Lord of the Dreadfort, the base band. The Flame Man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Flame Man. Iton, the lord of the dreadfort, the baseband, the fleet man. Yeah, the fleet man. He picked that big fat

daughter of Walder Frey because he got all the silver. He kissed her that time in front of his son Ramsey or whatever, but that's it. That's all the kindness. He's shown her. Someone will have to correct one of us. Yeah, he picked her because he was heavy, but I thought that he grew to love her and became a really good husband, and I still think that.

But anyway, so if you get a 100-pound woman, that's worth a million bucks. A 200-pound woman is $2 million. 300-pound, $3 million. If you start getting to like a 400, 500-pound woman, you'll be rich for the rest of your life. Your children will be rich. Oh, this is an interesting. But a 1 million really just.

I win. I win. I know how to do this. I'm going to pick an 800-pound woman. God damn it! And get me $8 million. She'll live maybe through the fucking weekend. Maybe. Jesus Christ.

And then I've got $8 million to then reinvest. Or just not even reinvest it. Just live off $8 million the rest of my life. I'll be fine. I had that. I was right there with you, and you took it god damn it that was my well then we got to put a cap on these fat bitches what's fat enough that it's not dangerous so 300 we'll say 300 that's still not good but they're gonna be around for a while and they're gonna make you embarrassed in public i'm willing to pick a 180 pound, very muscular, tall woman because I feel like she'll be...

1.8 million worth of hottie. Yeah, $1.8 million worth of really hot, really strong lady. Is she 6'8"? 180 pounds. She's 6'1"? 180 pounds. Ronda Rousey walks around at like 150. I don't think it's impossible to believe that...

She's built like a shit brick house she's just like i can't even tell you how how dense that woman is my god and she scares the shit out of me that's what i want i want a woman who can squat like you know 600 pounds i want i want her dead lifting 400 like like i want a big lady. What? What you got over there? What are you sharing? You want your wife to be able to lift my wife. Yeah. Yeah, totally. Totally. Exactly. Your 800 pound woman has sat on your connection. I'm just saying. Oh.

There. Kyle's got a neat idea there with a really healthy, big, strong woman, right? Another idea is what if you got someone who was really a master of their weight right like like a good strong woman that maybe walks at like 140 150 but you could be like dude we've totally got to ratchet this up to like 230 and i have full confidence you'll be back where you were lose it like baby weight. Nah, keep that half million dollars. I'll take my big hottie.

I'm going to go prospecting on Biggest Loser because at least they can move. Oh. And they're losing weight. Do you want them to be able to move though? I don't want to have to lift them. No, but like in 11... Have you ever seen those TLC shows

where it's like my 1100 pound existence or something and you just get one of those bitches they're on a bed all day they can't do anything they're gonna lose weight because they can't move and you just go out do your thing you've got 1.1 billion dollars or however much and you just live your life oh god damn that was my that was my as soon as i think we came up with it at the exact same time we were like ah huge woman a huge woman that's the answer she won't last long like yeah whatever the largest let's look it up who's the largest woman in the world let's see we'll probably knock it on death's door i think we could we should look at a couple different archetypes here because because i bet there's like an 800 pound woman but i bet there's also like uh some

pictures of some 180 pound like power lifters or something there's a woman who made it to 1036 pounds she's now 756 uh dang how many it's not the picture you're looking for but all right here's uh usa women's power liftinglifting. These are my girls. She doesn't look that heavy. I can't see enough of her to really judge properly. Half-ton killer? I wish I had Googled this. I feel a little nauseous.

Now I see the rest of her. Probably not great right lucky guess does it look like just like six hefty bags stuffed with cottage from the neck up she just looks heavy but like the heavy you see every day yeah yeah and then yeah once you get neck down that's a lot of women yeah some of these big strong girls I'm telling you that's definitely the way to go

a lot of money though yeah you were telling me because we are getting 10 million dollars out of this woman 10 million 10,000 a pound 10,360,000 it really? 10 million. Yeah, 10,000 to pound. Yeah, 10,360,000. It wouldn't even load the link.

No, no, no. What am I doing wrong? 10 million. I'm doing something wrong. 1,000. Let's do that. Let's pull up the calculator. You're getting 10,360,000 if she weighs 1,000, 60 or 336 pounds.

60,000 if she weighs 1,000, 60, or 336 pounds. I start to feel like as the money grows and as the investment interest prospects better, there becomes a diminishing return on the money received and it's not

the same linear curve as weight gain is going to be. I just feel 10 millions is worth that. To me, the difference between 1,000 pounds feel 10 millions is worth that. To me, the difference between 1,000 pounds and 800 pounds is pretty slight. Yeah, but I'm thinking the difference between

400 and 800. Yeah, that's definitely true what you're saying, Jay. There is a critical mass there. If you see a 400 pounder and an 800 pounder, you're going to notice a difference. Past a critical mass, it's just all gross so it doesn't matter once you hit 700 pounds yeah we can go way lower than that like for a normal sized human

like you're you're 600 pounds in a woman on that frame that's just like that's it's just amorphous at that point just an amorphous figure not even like feminine it's just it's just body how many different parts of her could you have sex with right like i'm looking at this woman here see the last link i gave that daily mail one holy that's a link one two three four five six i see six places i could have sex with. She needs a selfie stick just to wash herself. She's kind of cute. Don't say that.

No. Are you trying to convince yourself of that so you can rationalize the 10 million? Yeah. She looks like a bunch of soft serve. First of all, she looks like some sort of a batman villain that you hit with a heat ray second of all she's not that bad looking she's kind of cute she's look

is that like a is that a bug on her face or is like a teardrop tattoo what am i more than one picture i think it's a birthmark of some sort cool it doesn't look too bad though it does she doesn't look good. No, she weighs enough that a Ford F-150 wouldn't be big enough to carry her. Well, I'm looking at the USA women's powerlifting team, and I'd rather fuck these bitches.

I thought we were still looking at that other one. I feel disturbed. I don't know. I'm just picking. I don't know. I'm just picking. I haven't been able to narrow down like a 180-pound powerlifting woman. The payload on an F-150

is 3,300 pounds. She could totally fit in a full-size pickup truck. In the back? Almost three of her. Lawyered. How much of that can you put in the cab, though? That's what matters. You can cram two-thirds of her you put in the cab, though? That's what matters. You could cram two-thirds of her left thigh into a cab.

You guys are harsh. Well, I think I would try to find the biggest, most muscular woman I could and go that way because I would still be attracted to that person. I feel like... Did you give it? Oh, you did. Is it safe to click on? Yeah, I don't think there's any

nudity anywhere at this it's just a big google result thing like i just googled like usa women power lifting team and i was like scrolling yeah like this girl clearly has a desirable body i'm not sure she weighs enough though yeah that was my thing if you're looking like the top right link there's this lady wearing a wife beater whose arms are bigger than mine. And, and she, and she, those are man arms. Like I have, I take issue with a woman half my size who could deadlift more than I weigh. Right.

I can, I can overlook it. If I'm getting 10,000 bucks a pound, Kyle, is this what you're looking for? I think I found your sweetheart. Is that safe to click on oh yeah no not no I don't she's a power lifter look at that looks I think

spotted a big double in there to be lifted I think that's what you do there it's just cruel it's terrible oh look at all of that power that devolved quickly I I think I found your sweetheart oh poor Taylor we're losing your your thing there but

I think he's funnier this way man I I I don't know where to go because I 1 million certainly greases the slides in life but you're not done earning forever

you still got more to go it doesn't go very far you'll run out but you get into 3 million 6 million, 10 million. You really got a thing going on. So there's the question. Do you want to be set for life or do you want to have a...

I still stand by my first choice of the 800,000 pounder. They're going to be dead over the weekend. And you then have the rest of your life with all that money. Theoretically, if I could, let's say the world record is 1,000, there's an 1,100 pound woman, then I want her to gain weight. I want there to be a honeymoon period in which I really

pump her up. We go to basketball every day. Whatever. Whatever. If I'm getting paid, what is it, a thousand dollars a pound? Ten thousand. Ten thousand. Jesus. There you go, Kyle. There's your ideal woman

right there. Is that safe to click on? It should be. I would preview it first. Oh, yeah. Hey, nothing wrong with that. That's a lot better than that 600 pound lady. I mean, you just gotta imagine, that's you. She's holding over her head right there. It'd her off though uh yeah let's see 45 90 that's 180 plus the bar 225 and i'm guessing those i'm not paying for the bar yeah that's that's way more

money for the bar that's like 250 pounds 265 275 somewhere in there i don't know what the woman that can deadlift 600 pounds and add that that's impressive i'm seeing some of these women who are clearly squatting like you know three 400 pounds this this lady is definitely dead lifting six plates on each side so that's um she's got three plates on each side. Two big, one small. Yeah, but I'm looking at a different lady who's deadlifting. Deadlifting. Outrageous.

I had a subscriber challenge me to a calf competition at the paintball event. Were you there for that, Kyle? I was not present. No. I held up pretty well. I held up pretty well. They all said that I won, but I had a little bit of bias there. But it would be hard to pick a winner.

The guy called me out for calves. He didn't walk away unscathed, that's for sure. Well, I missed out on that. How will you ever get over it? I think I'll be alright. I liked hanging out with the fans. That was fun. Like I said, no weirdos this time. Do you ever get drained a little bit? it. I think I'll be alright. I like hanging out with the fans. That was fun.

Like I said, no weirdos this time. Do you ever get drained a little bit? Nah. At Living Legends I did. At this event I didn't. But yeah, sometimes at the end of Living Legends or something I just go back to my hotel and sort of hide. You know, recharge my introvert batteries. It's a shower that I need. Once I get to shower

I'm completely good again. Once I get gross and grimy and i'm just not comfortable in my own skin like i then i don't want to hang out with people i don't want to do anything but take a shower but once i've showered again i'm you know 100 for me it's not about the shower and joe's the same way joe wants to like you know i don't know we'll head back to the hotel room and like surf reddit for 40 minutes or so until we're sort of ready to face the world again that's a damn shame it is isn't it i was looking at the picture that they shared that's it looks like she's melting

uh look at that big bag of money. Which one? Which bag? Wow. There's like six. There's a lot of bags there. How is she even staying on the couch? That's a lot of core strength. Seems like she should be. That's the perspective though.

Who knows what's going on the back end there. What did your girlfriend do? Ah, she ran away. She did not run anywhere. It looks like she is too busy through belting. She's clearly happy though.

She's oozing down the hall. She does have this look about her like, you know, yeah, some people are into this. She's having a stroke. Someone just said, Taco Bell! And she was like, ah! I do wonder what she's doing To keep herself on the couch There's a lot of weight forward of that couch You guys know the video

That you played earlier today Of the ESPN chick That went off on the Did you guys mention the repercussions That are coming of that already Yeah she's already been suspended But you that that's going to escalate. Maybe. She is pretty and blonde.

She is a pretty woman, so probably not. Yeah. Brian Williams is a handsome man. He told those Iraq war lies. He said he got shot down in his helicopter. They got him for six months which is to say at last

someone being punished for Iraq war lies haha nobody likes the people at the tow yard anyway that lady probably was a bit of a bitch she was definitely talking down to her in a way that I think a lot of people won't enjoy listening to.

Like, she's making fun of her teeth and her education and stuff like that. But whatever. I didn't care. But, I mean, you interact with people who are without sounding like a douche. Below me? Unavoidable. Talking about my lessers? I was going to say below your station in life.

Like, where you are right now. Right? There's someone there ringing up your candy bar at the gas station, Quickie Mart, every day. There's someone there, you know, the waiter or whatever, like who just, you know, not rocking life like you are. And no one treats them like that. It's not an everyday reaction to running across someone who you can bully.

No, of course. There's no defense for how she acted she was a complete bitch like there's in no world is that okay but why that's just bitchy it's not okay but should we really punish it should she why why is she getting punished at work for like some shit she said at the tow yard the video was heavily edited too i would like to hear the provocation right she didn't just come up and start making fun of some woman's teeth or her education or how she needed

to lose a few pounds or whatever. The back and forth was completely cut out and they made it one-sided. That's what I was going to say. We don't know what led up to that. And I'm really curious. She just needs to keep reporting the news on ESPN and looking hot.

And she can be racist at the DMV if she wants to. She can be talking about Heil Hitler for all I care. They're two separate things. That's my only thought. I don't care what she says to the toe lady because every now and then I'm going to want to say some nasty shit to a toe lady. And nobody should be looking down on me for it. It shouldn't affect my job. In my opinion, the thing that hot blondes are able to get away with in

terms of crimes and you know bad society behavior is sex with teenage boys oh not recently did you see the one where so it was a mom and i guess she was like having kind of a sex party with like her daughter's friends oh naked, Naked Twister. Yeah, that was part of it. It was a hot tub, Naked Twister, alcohol. Best mom ever. Yeah. Who rats these people out?

Who are the cock blockers in the school system that are shutting down these 28-year-old women who are willing to bang you? It's all the jealous guys who aren't getting fucked by the hot teacher. Their boys are bragging about it because that's what you do if you're a hot 29-year-old and you're 15. I went to school with a guy

who was banging. I went to school with a guy who was 15. We were 15 and he was banging some 19, 20-year-old baseball camp person. Nobody told on him. Oh, baseball he was gay no it was a it was a girl yeah yeah the the girl at the baseball camp i didn't see her i didn't lay eyes on her and we just all knew that it was happening and and nobody was gonna tell anybody anything because that's stupid you gotta be a moron to talk about that.

All those notoriously hot softball chicks. Oh, yeah. See, well, they would be good for making money at 10,000 pounds. So there's that. What was I going to say? Oh, there was a girl at my high school who I'm like 99% sure was having sex with her teacher. And he was old and kind of gross, but she was over 17, so I guess good to go.

At my school, I don't know of any particular students and teachers, but there was a student and security guard incident that happened, apparently in one of the female restrooms. So I guess it almost seems like more normal, not normal, but common than it really is made out to be. Maybe. I don't know. Could be.

Especially when you start getting into that 17-year-old range. When I was a kid, we could legitimately believe that our parents were better behaved. Oh, yeah. You know, I guess maybe I'm being foolish because my parents were in like the 70s there's plenty of bad behavior by then right but i guess my parents parents were in the 50s and 50s like people legitimately didn't have premarital sex and stuff like that in the 50s right well i don't know like maybe, but it certainly existed. I agree.

Yeah, they definitely did. They just kept it under wraps. And I bet it wasn't 100%, whereas today it threatens 100%, right? Like it's almost there. That's true. I can get behind that. And then, shucks, it was late 60s when my parents were getting married. Explain some stuff.

They must have been badly behaved, right? I still are, it seems. This is the 60s, man. Yeah, right? God bless them. Yeah, totally different thing. I haven't covered this ad nauseum, but yeah, I'm... I don't know, it doesn't bother me in the slightest. Oh, I saw medical marijuana was legalized in Georgia today.

But it was... it's uh it's just like some uh it's like oil i think i think it's like low thc oil so that's a that's a first step i suppose maybe that will help with your illness you should look into it which oh god whatever's wrong with me i would yeah i'll uh i'm willing to look at any uh any any possible i need a budget pot i feel so bad it has medical right in the name medical marijuana it cures anything i was talking to my wife about it like for whatever reason i often find myself pitching pot to jackie and um like one of the scenario was like if i had cancer today like obviously there are some people who act like marijuana is a cure-all for anything that ails you i think it's stupid or they act like it's a practically a health food and i don't buy that but if i had cancer and and i you know like

it helps with nausea and my appetite issues and it kills cancer cancer cells. Is that true? Yep. U.S. government admitted so. Recently. Source? I didn't. Okay. Thank you. Find it, Kyle. But no, that is true. Yeah, it'll be like National Enquirer. Um... See, buddy? TMZ.

Right there. What Tom Cruise discovered in his Scientology meeting. But, uh, but yeah, if I was on chemo or something and I needed my appetite restored and my nausea solved, I'd be like, get me a dealer. I don't even know how to get pot right now, but I don't know. I'd be on YouTube asking for sources. Just send me a DM on Twitter. I'm just looking for some pot. Just an adult man.

Nothing weird. You'd end up with Chris Hansen. All right. So what did Kyle find here? Share the screen. A group of federal researchers commissioned by the government to prove that cannabis has no accepted medical use may have unwittingly let information slip through the cracks,

revealing how cannabis actually kills cancer cells. The research was conducted by a team of scientists who found that two of the most common cannabinoids in marijuana, tetrahydrocannabala and cannabidal... Fucking Facebook ad. ...weakened the ferocity of cancer cells and made them more susceptible to radiation treatment, said Mike Adams of Herbal Dispatch.

Well, if Mike Adams of Herbal Dispatch isn't a reputable source, I don't know what is. Well, Herbal Dispatch sounds pretty legit. The study, which was published last year in the medical journal Molecular Cancer Therapies, details the dynamic reductions in which fatal variations of brain cancer with the specific cannabinoids were used in conjunction with radiation therapy. This is a tough one to read. Cannabinoids.

We've shown that cannabinoids could play a role in treating one of the most aggressive cancers in adults. I think this is a boring read. But okay. So according to Mike Adams of Herbal Dispatch, someone who was commissioned by the government said that it does something. I have several links. You want to go with the Metro or Russia Today. There's lots of links. Wait, Russian Today was one

of your links? Russia Today is a news source. Yeah. It certainly is. You don't think that's a trusted one? It's state-sponsored. Yeah, it's good stuff're so if they're saying it must be true and then they go on to complain about the schedule one status of pod or something like

that um well shucks i don't know how i can possibly dispute uh let's see let's go to herbal dispatch and learn more about them well here go to cancer.gov I gotta find a source apparently okay Jesus my god damn mouse stopped working I can't even look anymore this is just like a reprint of herbal dispatch

the source you gave us I can't help that yeah I can't help that Yeah Well I I don't know what to say I just kind of don't I really should have more proof For my assertions

Given that you're providing you know the herbal dispatch proof on your side here's the Huffington Post Jesus Christ you really are just like the TMZ article just do it here

the Inquisitor this is great TMZ would never give false information daily mail The Inquisitor? The Inquisitor. This is great. TMZ would never give false information. Daily Mail? I can't spell marijuana. Marijuana. Well, here.

Here's a pretty good article. Here's the Daily UK thing. Here's the Daily UK thing. Oh, the Daily UK. The Daily Mail. The Daily Mail. I love that it's the Daily Mail. Isn't that like the least reputable tabloid? Yeah, I'm pretty sure Daily Mail is behind Huffington Post in terms of reliability.

But whatever. Federal government unwittingly admits that cannabis kills cancer. There you go. But yeah, I would totally smoke podified cancer. Just for the appetite, for the anti-nausea. Seems like a fix. It's what you do. Oh, for if you're going through the chemo just Taylor doing what I don't like that

that's a penis totally a penis with a top hat okay that's like mr. peanut but it's mr. penis I saw his testicle feet he's really low. Wait, that was his girlfriend! That's great. That's great. That's hilarious. She got the fuck out of there. She finally made an appearance on the show and that was it. That's great. That's really funny.

I thought for sure that was Taylor. Yeah. Well, technically she showed us her penis. Yeah. I think that's the title of this PKA. Marcus' girlfriend shows us her penis. Yeah. I think that's the title of this PKA. America's Girlfriend Shows Us Her Penis. I'm going to sleep good tonight. I've taken so many different cold remedies.

Like, Kitty's got this crazy... I don't even know what the ingredients are. Some of them are definitely not legal in the United States. It's like some powder you mix with hot water. And I use the Keurig and put in a spoonful of honey. And it really fucks me up. I feel so woozy right now. I feel...

I think you talked about that on Painkiller Nearly. Like, is it a high? What do you got going on over there? It feels like I'm dizzy. It feels like my head is on a... It feels like my head's not attached to my body. It feels like it's on a sled. So if I move this way, my head's going to keep moving and slide over there. I feel really fucked up in not a fun way at all.

Just really nauseous, dizzy, and just kind of numb on the inside. But that's a day-to-day the general contractor who you know like i said the trust is gone and i just don't don't love him right um at the very end like i wrote him a check he signed the the waiver of lien which means he can't put a lien against the house or anything um like it all ended and he asked for a hug and i gave it one but that fucker's been sick for like a month i think it might have been his last attack like his last little hug that guy i he's like what he put it here give me a hug like as the goodbye or something and i was like no thank you i don't

hug taylor uh your girlfriend made a bit of an appearance on the show. I know. She's been saying something the past couple weeks about when I go to the bathroom, she wants to come and put a drawing of a dick that she does on the back of the chair. And I have it for you. Oh, no, no. She already did. She got it out for us.

Oh, yeah. She made it into a dance. It danced back and forth. So you've seen Fantasy Dick. Wait, this is Fantasy Dick, you say? Fancy. It's probably both.

Yeah, just judging by the size of it, it's kind of a fantasy dick. It is a very well-dressed penis, though. It is. It's dressed very well. It's got a cane. Yeah, I said it's like Mr. Peanut, except it's

Mr. Penis. I asked her why the nutsacks looked like they were in two separate sacks and she said because he was strutting around. He's got places to go, people to see. When's she going to be on the show? Can that ever happen? Is that a thing that you can... I i'll see i'll see i'll run it by her it'd be fun to see micah and micah marca and the boss

sharing a mic doing the thing it'd be a good time yeah yeah let's see we're looking for oh found it now i can click on the pot links that we're not talking about anymore oh did you get you down yeah my my stupid mouse pad stopped working so I haven't been able to click on anything for the last 40 minutes your mouse pad stopped working like the or the the trackpad trackpad on the laptop I follow I fell I'm like how does a mass pad break like it moves or something yeah i said it poorly i know but yeah maybe i'll run it by her she does very good drawings of dicks and other things because he was mostly dicks mostly dicks yes yeah a lot of dicks the whole bedroom is just

scattered trick dick drawings all over this is like this is like um yeah this is like super bad all over again it's pretty funny yeah i like that i like that it's on like a little stick so you can make it dance and stuff yeah it's on the straw very creative it was good i i like the whole implication like she just seems like she'd be fun yeah she is she is fun. Lucked out. I'll run it by her. Do you want to call it a wild card? I think so. I'm going to pass out.

I just want to say thank you very much, Jay, for coming on the show. You were a badass guest. I appreciate it. Congratulations big time on your weight loss success and truly taking on a whole new lifestyle and becoming a different person. Yeah.

Not many people do that. And you definitely have. So congrats. I can't wait till the end of the summer. That's where we're going to hit our goal. Awesome. Super cool. Super cool.

Well, I tell you where you can find more of that progress. Follow on Twitter. If you guys are watching at J's two cents with a Z, I do a lot of like hashtag go team J up there. I actually got that to trend once. That was kind of funny. Considering I only have about 40-something thousand followers, to get something to trend with that kind of

followership was like, wow. Someday I will be as fit as Mr. Fancy Penis over there. Nice. Taylor, get her to draw one that represents each of us. That would be great. Oh, I'll run that. Wow, I can't wait to draw one that represents each of us. That would be great. Oh. I'll run that.

Okay. Wow. I can't wait to see myself in penis form. Yeah. I want to be in penis form. That's great. Please make sure that my head is like the ridge line on my circumcised penis is perfectly flat.

Yeah. I love this. She has to work the hairline in there somewhere. All right. Well, TKA 226. thank you so much, Jay. Thanks for having me. It was fun. Had a good time.

Crunchyroll. Check them out. Crunchyroll.com slash PKA. Make it happen.