Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #227

Episode Date: April 29, 2015

This week on PKA, the guys are joined by Boogie2988 and they talk a lot about his medical issues, some interesting stories, /r/fatpeoplehate and the guys do some AMA questions from Patreon!

we're live oh thank freaking god all right 227 episode 227 being brought to you tonight by crunchyroll that's crunchyroll.com slash pka that's how you get there but i gotta say they really are the uh the netflix of anime there's three new featured shows they want everyone to know about this month. One Piece, Punchline, and JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. So regardless of what device you've got, it really is worth it to go here if you're a big anime fan.

I think they work on everything from Apple TVs, Xboxes, PlayStations, really anything you've got. So you go to Crunchyroll.com slash PKA and sign up for premium to get the world's finest collection of anime free for 30 days with zero ads. Which of those three would you recommend for me, Kyle? Oh, definitely JoJo's Bizarre Adventure.

I think she's got a happy trail, and that's part of the Bizarre Adventure. I think they follow along the adventures of a pubic crab as it continues along the happy path. I've got a question about Crunchyroll.

I've never signed up for Crunchyroll, and I'll probably use your all's code. I'm going to do that after here. But, my question is, are there adult stuff on there too? No, there's no Hensha crazy. Oh, you better believe it

i don't think there is is there oh yes there is wait i'm not necessarily like no i i don't know i don't know of course not never i think that it's clean that'd be a good that's something we can maybe look into they have a do they have a good back catalog of the older stuff? Because that's what I like. Like, Oh My Goddess, and Tenchi Muyo, Rama One Half. That's the stuff. That's anime to me. So that's why.

All of those are familiar to us. They will be there. They will. Okay, that's awesome. I think their claim to fame is the really current stuff, too. I think within an hour. If it comes out and it's not even translated like they will have translators make you know to do the english subtitles and get it out in an hour so that's awesome that's crazy they're like people working around the clock to get anime out well back when i was really into it like i used to do the the

whole torning thing and all that business and i hated having to do that because the fan subs were not always that great. And sometimes you'd wait two, three, four, five weeks to be able to watch a current episode. And so I'm really glad they're doing that. That's crazy. That's actually really crazy. If you like anime, Crunchyroll is the way to be. Crunchyroll.com slash PKA. Yeah, I'll remember that.

I'll remember that. All right. You remember it. It's the only way to watch anime. Free month of access. So, Boogie, how are you? I'm doing all right, man. We moved into a new place.

I don't know if you can recognize it. It came from your advice. I think you just did the same thing. There's a new paint swatch on the back. What do you think of these? What do you think of these? My wife got these. My mother-in-law got this one.

So is the middle one canvas and the two on the side are wood? Is that what I'm seeing? They're all canvas. I normally have my green screen up, but I took it down for today. But I've been doing a lot of Twitch. I've been doing Twitch five nights a week. And, man, I've got to tell you, I love doing Twitch. Are you guys doing that at all?

I've done it a lot. Lately, I've been doing nothing but moving and building and stuff. But go on. Yeah, well, I've been loving it man but yeah new place we moved a couple towns over you know trying to keep her address secret you know but it's it's way bigger than the place we were renting you're the one you're one of the people that really convinced me that it was time to buy you know instead of throwing my way money away at renting we should look at purchasing.

And we definitely moved in that direction. And it's so nice. I'm so glad we did. That's awesome. Did you have any problems with contractors? Maybe named Jamal? Yeah. The boot out?

Boogie probably doesn't know. When we bought this place, sorry about the echo, by the way. I'll do the audio treating done yeah it's huge woody i really do my best to have good everything so anyway um we moved in and we had the place renovated like we had some new hardwood floors put in we got everything painted and um new light fixtures put in stuff like that the guy told us it would take two weeks. It was over three months. Crazy over time, over budget as well.

And it was a really rough, ugly experience. I hated it. Hated every second of it. And Jamal, who he was mentioning, was a subcontractor. He did terrible work. So the general contractor didn't want to pay him. And then now Jamal is suing the two of us. Like, I've got nothing to do with this shit.

And I'll be in small claims court on May 4th. So that's when everything ends. I have nothing to lose. That's so stupid. He's suing for six grand. So what I did is I held six grand back from the general contractor. I put it in an escrow account. And then, you know, whenever he gets paid he you know like

so the court will say give all six to jamal or give three to jamal three to ed the gc or whatever um you know i don't know what they'll say but uh in from my standpoint i already put the six grand in escrow and i could give a shit where it goes what does uh what does escrow mean? Yeah, this is what I think of as like an old man superpower, right? Like I just know old man shit, right? That's a thing. Yeah, you're an old fuck. Yeah, it's kind of like a special bank account

that's dedicated to a purpose. And the money doesn't come out of it until like an arbitrator, like a central person, to it. So like, let's say I'm going to buy your house. I'll put all that money in escrow and then it will transfer to you upon, you know, the exchange of the house. It's kind of like setting aside dedicated funds for a thing. And then when that thing happens properly, it goes over. If that thing doesn't happen properly, it comes back to you. So it's just like a pending account basically.

So you're pending your payment until it's sufficiently provided. You're putting payment in kind of, it's not a joint account, I mean it's kind of yours, but you're, you know, there's someone, some third person who decides that the action has happened that triggers

the transfer. Okay, well look happened that triggers the transfer. Okay. Well, look at that. Learned something. Yeah. Three minutes in. This action-packed PKA brought to you by Crunchyroll. Join us next week when we go over tax law.

Let's talk about Ben Gay for a while. That really helps your joints. Dude, I have a topic. I have one, too. Oh, Lord. a topic. I have one too. Oh, lord. Two topics? Rock, paper, scissors? Wait a second. I have a topic.

I won't end on this. The way I go is rock, paper, scissors, then shoot. And on shoot, a thing happens. Get boogie on it. Yeah, we want boogie too. Hands up in the rock, paper, scissors, shoot. And that's going to be our thing.

All right, ready? Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Three scissors. You guys all did scissors. Okay, ready? Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Three scissors. Oh, what are the odds? All right, ready? rock paper scissors shoot rock paper scissors shoot rock paper scissors shoot

Oh Kyle wins so right she has linked me to this website, and I'm going to get the link for you guys, too. But basically, this you send these people some genetic material, some spit in a test tube, and they will do your genetic history, and they'll find out what your ancestry is,

genetically speaking, like if you have any African American ancestors, if you have, and not just like African American, they'll narrow it down, if you have... And not just African-American. They'll narrow it down to the region of Africa that your descendants came from. So I was thinking we should totally do this. We should find out what our...

What horrific marketing. 23 and me. This sounds like the next Taylor Swift album. I think we should all do this and then compare. My family's done something like this. Well, this isn't like where they look back through your birth records and stuff like this. This is like DNA mapping, I guess.

No, I know. It's really cool figuring out where you're from genetically. Yeah. I think that would be great, and we could take some bets as to which one of us totally has some African American name. Because here's the thing. Your grandparents may have lied, because it would be shameful to have some Indian in you,

or shameful to have some other mud race in you, or whatever. I have that. They were crazy back then when they were right around the tree. Did you know that? So apparently on my mom's side, we have Mexican in us. And it's like a family secret.

I'm not even positive it's true because it's kind of buried. So yeah, there's... Your lawns look very well kept. Let's do this. Let's do this thing. I think this is a great use for patreon funds i think you should order up three of these motherfuckers and find out let's do it do you know where you're from kyle like specifically where your family's from no no clue my family didn't come here to the early

20th century you know um i wouldn't be surprised if I had some ancestor who owned slaves, was a slave, was a bootlegger, or some sort of a thief, or a congressman maybe even. It could be that low. I don't know. I like the way you did that. That's why I'm interested in this. And I'd love to show my dad and be like, look dad,

you're one 32nd black. Oh, you think that would go over well with your dad? Actually, I don't think he would care that much. He'd get a chuckle out of that. But it would just be funny to go over. My mom might. My mom might.

My great grandmother. He's the black guy. My great grandmother was full-blooded Cherokee. And so apparently I have enough American Indian in me to qualify for scholarships and shit and so every time somebody's like, hey, check your white cis male privilege, I'm just like, I chuckle inside a little bit because I'm like, I'm not white, dude.

I'm technically American Indian. You're full of shit. Whatever. I love that. We read the results live on the air and well, sort of. That was like a Jerry Springer episode. That read the results live on the air. Well, sort of. That was like a Jerry Springer episode. That's the reason of my topic.

Let's hear it. All right. I learned that there hasn't been a white sprinter in the Olympic 100-meter finals since 1980. Hasn't been one to compete in them? Right. Not a single white guy has been in the top in the finals on of the olympic 100 meter sprint not since 1980 and i think that's horseshit i think that um that maybe we need like an affirmative action sprinter program

like a white person in the finals i like you don't know like maybe they'll do something great if they i know there's other people who are faster and stuff, but we should take them out and put in a white male sprinter so that maybe they'll win. You don't know. It could happen. I think they only do that when they feel that the advantage was gained unfairly in a way. I think maybe they should have a special program

to encourage more white male sprinters to take up sprinting. Maybe that's a thing. If they do that, they need to make it full-blown ridiculous. Like they have four chiseled black guys sprinting, or six, whatever that amount is, and then a white woman and a dwarf just to show that they give a fuck about diversity,

just to put them in there, just to see that little dwarf, you know, just chugging along. What's the dwarf farm? What about the Fat Olympics? Like, why don't we have that? Why isn't it just like five or six, like, lumbering fat guys? Why don't we have special events for that?

I mean, honestly, that is an official body type now, right? I kind of feel like it. I read Tumblr. I know what it's like. I mean, no one ever really told me to get into sprinting. Wouldn't be very good. No one ever really encouraged me to take up sprinting. I think that perhaps I'm at a disadvantage in sprinting

and that there should be special programs that help me come along. Right. Well, that's the thing. It's all about incentive for me. I'm generally not going to be able to run very fast, but I'm going to outrun Carl Lewis. If you put a lifetime supply of Mountain Dew at the end of that thing, I'm going to beat him. That's all I'm saying.

That's going to happen, man. I don't know about that. This is why you're my favorite shit lord, just to be very clear. You are my favorite shit lord. A lot of people were like, you don't want to go on that show. They're shit lords. A lot of people were like, but you don't want to go on that show. They're shit lords. They're praising fat people hate.

And I'm like, man, everybody's entitled to their opinion. Like, I don't fucking know their opinion already. You guys have told me to my face. I didn't praise fat people hate. He did. It's me. And personally, it's this.

One of the reasons I think that fat people hate gets such a bad name is because sometimes fat people will go in there and they'll say some outrageous shit that even the shit lords wouldn't be on board with just to sort of be like look at this thing they did they said we should crucify fat people like wait a minute we didn't say anything about crucifixion like first of all well i mean crucifying me imagine the structure of we need right like to be fit,

it takes perhaps a proper upbringing and diet and stuff like that. It takes a lifetime of discipline. It takes focus. There's a lot of shit involved in being fit. You have to deny yourself

things all the time. It's really the same process as going to college and getting a job and doing all the other things. It's a lifetime of devotion and discipline. Well, i've been learning a lot of things over the last three years and we've talked about it i i don't want to i don't want my entire time to be here talking about this but um i'm 60 pounds lighter than my biggest ever which is an accomplishment

for me i'm proud that i've done it i'm still 500 fucking pounds but or 527 ish right now but i'm still fat as shit but i'm less fat than I used to be and it's been a hell of a stretch. The reason I don't like Fat People Hate is because hate is right in the title and I really don't, I'm not a hateful person. I don't really understand hate. I like Fat People

Stories. Now that was a good subreddit. I enjoyed that one. Fat People Hate, now at 111,000 reddits know there's some post i i sort of pick and choose the posts i like there some of them just seem to be cruel for the for no other purpose than being cruel and i don't like that to be honest some of them pick away at sort of the the tumblr culture and uh some of the like um i guess what is it healthy at any weight stuff that right which is i enjoy that stuff i love that stuff that stuff can be completely ridiculous when there are people who are obviously unhealthy and they're like no

this is healthy and these are and i've seen people try to make fat rolls look like a six-pack and try to say that i love that stuff too like that stuff i like have you seen bruce buffer six pack no i'm gonna try and share this hold on yeah let me say it while he's looking for this, just because a lot of people tweeted me about this, and I just want to, all the PK fans out there, just let me go ahead and say this, okay? Health at any size is insanity. You can't be both morbidly obese and healthy. You can be for a short period of time, but eventually that'll end. Take it from me, okay?

I'm someone who thought I could be healthy and fat. And you know what? I can tell you I wasn't able to. My doctor agreed to me that no one can. And the truth of the matter is, it is your personal responsibility to be as healthy as humanly possible so you can live as long as you want. And at the end of the day, the good side to all of that stuff, Kyle, I know that this is your point because I know you as a person. We've talked many, many times. Your goal is to remind people to be healthy and to do the healthy thing and to try to maintain their health. That's it. And whatever reminder we need to do that,

I still don't believe that negative reinforcement works. And this type of negative reinforcement certainly doesn't make it that much easier, you know, because I think it encourages people to be like, shitty. I think it helps a little. So I think there are people who, when they see that and they're overweight, they feel shame. And perhaps they are indeed shamed into making a change in their life. I think that's a small percentage of people. I think that shame is about 90% of what causes obesity. It could be. It could be.

But for me, it's what prevents my own obesity. You are sexy, man. I'm not going to lie. You should see him in person. Holy fuck. Yeah. Kyle's on point right now. I would slime around on you.

Hey, I will tell you, though, the other thing, the last time I was on here, my back injury was the worst it had ever been. Well, a combination of a new bed has been helping, my DDP exercises, which I'm still doing. A lot of people are like, man, you're shaming DDP but not losing as much weight as you could. And I know that. I'm sorry. I'm letting Diamond Dallas pay you down, brother.

I know I need to do better, and I am doing better. But I'm in less pain than I've ever been in the last three years. It's still really miserable. I mean, I'm still crying every morning when I wake up and trying to get used to it. But I told you when this back injury was healed, I'm coming to fucking boot camp kyle don't doubt me for a goddamn second i'd say give me another six months to a year i think my

back is going to be better i'm hoping to lose another 30 or 40 to make it a little easier and i'm fucking common man check out this picture oh given another year dude if you continue with it you will lose a lot more i hope so you know 30 or 40 you will lose a lot more than an extra 30 or 40. You will lose a lot more, and you'll be happy with it. I said that on the first PKA, and I gotta tell you, man, it's been a slow fucking road. But at least there's been progress on that road, and I'm happy with it. This is Bruce Buffer's six-pack. Wow. It's my

understanding that what he did is he had liposuction, such that they shaped his belly fat into his six-packs. I would do that. If I could just get hammered every day and yell at fighters, and then go home to a couple of hot babes like that,

I would absolutely do that. These two women are both prostitutes. Yeah, he is off the hook. He shows up with whores and doesn't even pretend otherwise. He's like, yeah. Good for him. You know what? Good for him. Oh, a little bit more UFC news. Joe Lozon

has a fight July It's announced. It's all over the world. Twitter and ESPN and all that stuff. He gave us maybe 15 minutes or half an hour before the rest of the world knew, I guess, but he's fighting a guy named Komi.

Komaratsu Komi or something. What's his first name? Or Yont. Am I completely fucking this up? It's like Takagami Gomi. Gomi is his last name. Okay. Well, that's close enough.

Yeah, I was totally close. I'm embarrassed. I should be. All my people are going to say I don't actually like MMA are going to fuss at me. But yeah, like Takanomi Gomi, something like that. Takanori. Takanori, is that it? Ori?

I think it's an Ori at the end. There is no fucking way that it's Takanomi Gomi. It's Takanori Gomi. There we go. Takanori Gomi. That's really good. It's a freaking amazing card i yeah that's i don't i'm not a big enough of a ufc guy to to to know that that's a good card but i'll believe if you say it i'm gonna do my best to be there i think i'm um i got a couple of events that month i specifically asked joe if I should be there or not.

Because we were planning on going to that event and now he's fighting in it. And I'm like, am I going to mess this up? And he says, I don't believe in jinxes. Come on out. So that's a thing. That's good. I think July 12th is the paintball event in Chicago.

Then July 25th is Joe's fight on that big card. I'm at Pennsylvania doing some kind of promotional thing at a gun show. Originally the paintball thing was July 25th. It was never July 25th. I don't know where we got that number

but we both believed it was. It never in fact was. The Call of Duty World at War scenario game is on July 12th in Chicago. Painfall Explosion. Joe's fight is on the 25th. And somewhere in between, I'm in Pennsylvania. So I'm going to try to make a fun month out of July.

All right. Yeah. Yeah, that should be awesome. Dude, Joe's going to kill that guy. Hope so. That's going to be good go joe if i was the commission i'd be like go me are you sure you want to do this he's gonna kill you you know like who's he fighting what's his name taka no taka normie go me i just go me i've always called him go me i just i me and names that's my thing cut me some slack um takanori gomi

takanori gomi what did i say takanomi gomi they keep joking about uh me being in shape but joe took it joe came out of the shower and when we were in the in chicago and and he was he was topless and joe is an incredible dude he's off and at first you're just like wow joe's an incredible shape and then like what he always says then you kind of remember, oh, yeah, that's what he does for a living. Dude, so one of the reasons I became a fan of Joe is that I thought he was like the super version of me, right? If people don't know, Joe has a computer science degree. You know, he went to college all four years, whatever. And rather than go the comp sci route, he went the exercise route and became a professional athlete.

So I had in my head, like if hypothetically or in some alternate universe, I had focused all my energy into athletics, all of it, right? Not just swimming or whatever, but like really even after college and full time in this thing,

that Joe is what the super version of me would be. And then I saw him in person and it was like, oh, no, he's not a version of me at all. He's one of them. I thought he was one of us, like a gamer kind of comp sci guy. His core, like, I don't know what these, like these lateral muscles that kind of go right here. Oh yeah. Those ones that people draw in paintings David has them

To try to give a V in that area They're like this thick There's that much meat just laid on top of his core that I don't have You can be fooled into thinking that Joe's not one of them One of those super jock, crazy, whatever. And that happens because his pecs aren't real thick, right?

And you're almost like, oh, look, he's like a regular guy. He doesn't have that massive guy chest thing. Well, you know better than anyone. But anyway, he doesn't want them. He says they're not that useful in fighting, and they weigh a lot. So he's like, I don't even care. We go pecs, whatever. He wants the more useful muscles for what he does.

You'd think pecs would be punching, but I don't know. That's what he says. But, yeah, if you see Joe in his underwear. It's a sight to behold. It's a sight to behold. Oh, yeah. If you're hitting someone, are pecs useless? I would have thought they'd be core, right?

It's like all the muscles are useful. I don't know. If you're winding into a big hit, I don't know. That's all sort of core back crazy. You think no? You think I'm wrong on the pecs being useful? No, no. I imagine that.

I have no experience speaking of him in that regard. Right? I mean, I think a peck's job essentially is to pull your elbow towards the center of your chest, and it would seem like that would be super related. But I don't know. I'm sort of out. This isn't really what I studied. Yeah.

Well, in any case, Joe's got a big fight coming up. We're all very excited about it. And a big card as well. I'm going to do my best to be there at that fight. Dude, he's got a great fight, great card. Joe's going to about it. And a big card as well. I'm going to do my best to be there at that fight. Dude, he's got a great fight, great card. Joe's going to smash him. It's going to be cool. So do you think you're

going to go? I'd like to, yeah. I don't see any reason why I shouldn't be able to go. Hey, why don't you drive me? That'd be good. You should get your new truck and you should drive us up there. That'd be great to do that twice. Wait, where's the fight?

Chicago. Chicago. Chicago. So Woody has to loop on down to Georgia and then take that simple drive to Chicago. Yeah, I've made that drive to Chicago pulling a golf cart. It was so awful. Like a couple years ago, that last paintball thing, it was so god awful. We're driving along. I jeremy in the passenger seat he shared the driving with me but he was asleep at this

point and uh we're in the left lane of like a six lane super highway you know there's concrete barriers boxing us in lots of traffic and i'm locked into that left lane which is the you know it's the uh the the the multiple multi-capacity lane or whatever the the hov lane and i got this trailer carpool lane yeah carpool lane i'm hauling ass i'm doing at least 80 miles an hour there's one car in front of me and jeremy's asleep in the passenger side i'm going along and i noticed the car in front of me like does this weird evasive maneuver but i can't really tell why i'm like the fuck's that guy's problem and then i see it an entire tire is in the road it's just a whole like semi-truck tire that's that's it doesn't even look like a gator which is what

they call the peeled apart tires it looks like the whole fucking thing and i look in my mirror and there's a car right beside me so i'm boxed in so i just go jeremy hang on and we just did it right in the fucking middle and it's just like at 80 miles an hour and then the tire gets kicked up by my back tires and hits the fucking u-haul trailer behind me and like bends the shit bends the shit out of the fender jeremy was scared shitless it was it was great it was worth doing just to scare jeremy that bad that doesn't sound like it sounds like it was a huge ordeal caused by a tire in the freeway.

It's a 12 and a half hour drive from Raleigh. Or less than two hours to fly. It seems like flying is a better idea. Flying is definitely better. I'm not even sure it's cheaper to drive. Hey, take a train. Live it up. It can't be cheaper.

Live like an 18th century millionaire. Yeah. Live like a 1910 oil baron. Yes. And just go across the U.S. They were called 10,000 heirs at the time. Yes. He said he got questioned by a detective at some point because on the train or before he got on the train,

something about buying his ticket so close to the departure date was a suspicious thing, and he got profiled because of that. What? I've never traveled by train. Yeah, I've never traveled by train, and I don't think I ever, ever will. I used to commute by train, so I spent a lot of time on a train, but just like an hour each way. Yeah, that's a different train.

A tram or a train? Definitely a train. A commuter train is different. Like that train we took that night in Boston to go to Joe's gym. The subway. Okay, yeah. I have never...

I don't remember. I think it was a subway. Didn't we go down into it? I don't know. It seems like been on a train in my entire life. What were you saying? I've never been on a train in my entire life. I can't believe that. I was already thinking, have I even ridden the subway?

I've never ridden the subway. The closest I've ever come is there's this tourist thing up in Eureka Springs here in Arkansas. And you can do a dining car or whatever. Was it a really small train where you sit on the top and out the roof? No, this was a full-size passenger train. Were you in a mall? Was the E-20 present? Did Santa give you a ticket?

Is it the kind of train that you can spin a dial in front of you to spin your own cart? Was there a monorail? Were you on tires? I would like it if there were more trains. That's an interesting... I saw that Japanese train. I guess it broke that speed record.

I'm guessing like 500 kilometers per hour. I think it was like 366 miles per hour something like that which that's really sounds really fast yeah it's a it's some sort of new experimental maglev or something but that's fast that's fast enough to i think we can all agree that like the u.s infrastructure desperately needs rebuilding and we ever do rebuild it i would love to see us get some of these monorails man or like any of these. How awesome would that be, you know? I live in Arkansas, so it's never going to affect me one way or the other, but like one running down the West Coast would be brilliant if you think about it.

It seems like our country is well-suited for that kind of thing. It seems like if you had like Chicago is a great city to put them in, so it's such a nice central city, and you can bounce to New York, you can bounce down to Atlanta, and all the cities that are right there near it lots of fresh water yeah the the only thing i like about trains i haven't been on one like the the high speed ones or anything is the lack of security like it if train if planes weren't so fucked up if it didn't take an hour and a half on either side of a plane ride to board and check your luggage and go through security and all that, then I wouldn't want to train at all. The real reason I want to train is I want the private plane experience.

Yeah. So let's talk about flying and being fat because that's real amusing, okay? Since I obviously have had to fly a few times to do appearances at VidCon or the PlayStation experience, the video game awards, let's do stuff like that. Um, we're flying more than ever and I hate it obviously. I mean, it's, it's unbearable. Airports are too big for me. Obviously the seats are too small. I have to get to, I have to purchase two seats obviously so that I'm not making anybody else uncomfortable. It's a pain in the ass. But every time I go through security, I make a TSA agent's life a living hell because the scanner that they use, they can't see through certain areas of my body, specifically the stomach portion. There's a guy in the back at the TSA.

She can't take it, Captain. We're giving her all she's got! It's like, more! More! So every time I step out of that x-ray machine, some poor guy has to go digging to look for... I don't know what he's expecting to find. And they always, every time, 99 times out of 100... Please tell me something involving your butthole happens. It involves my penis every time. They're surprised when they find

it like they're not expecting one and then like there's my balls in their hands and then they like a couple of guys didn't know what that was so they really got in there and then i'm like do i need to turn my head and off dude like what kind of is this? Yes, it's a penis, man. Is this testicles? Yes. Are you sure it's not a gun, sir? No, I'm pretty sure. I mean, it's fired off a couple times, and then, you know, you're in a special room.

This bag seems to be holding more than three ounces of fluid. And every time, man, I just... I come out of that machine, and I... Now I just directly apologize to the guy on the other side of the machine. I'm like, I just, I come out of that machine and I, now I just directly apologize to the guy on the other side of the machine. I'm like, I'm real sorry for this dude. And he's like, oh, don't be, it's not a big deal. You know, that guy home, guy goes home and just calls his therapist.

I had to check in another fatty today. So you need two tickets. Right. I need two tickets. Would one first class ticket do the trick? Um, we got bumped up to first class and it depends on the size of the plane. The one time we got bumped up to first class, it was awesome. It was perfectly comfortable.

I'm in one seat, my wife's in the other. It's just wonderful. It's beautiful. The other time, well, the first time I looked at a first class seat, if the plane is pretty small, then it's going to be too narrow. And part of me is going to be in the aisle. And that's going to make it difficult for the stewardess. And I don't want to do that for her. You know, it's bad enough that I'm even on the plane for some people. So I don't want any part of me sticking out in the aisle.

I'd rather eat the cost, you know, every time. So Wings went to the billionaire bash, the billionaire challenge. I forget what it was called. A couple of years ago, we did this thing and they flew wings out and he had a terrible flight experience. He hated it. So the plane was full. He got one ticket.

He needed two. Right. Right. He did. But he had never flown before. So he didn't know about the whole two ticket thing. And, uh,

the guy next to him gave him a hard time. Now it wasn't completely unjustified, I guess right but whatever he did or said really hurt wings his feelings and uh i remember it like so i was out there with him and stuff and he he wanted to drive home and and he felt super uncomfortable i think part of it was never having left home before but he was like i he's like it's weighing over me a 24 by 7 i know i have to fly home somehow. I have to get home. This is horrible. It was this

miserable thing. The flight really took it out of him. He hated it. He full on hated it as much as you can hate something. He must have if he's considering getting a rental going from LA to South Carolina. He might not have known the scope of what he was

talking about. Maybe not the financial scope, but surely he was talking about. Maybe not the financial scope, but surely he knows how wide the fucking United States is. Surely. I mean, they do have maps. But I mean, in all seriousness, if you told me that

he didn't really have a grasp on how many hours a drive that was, I'd be like, yeah, that sounds reasonable. I don't think he'd ever left his town, county, whatever. He had never traveled anywhere. He might not really get how far away California is. It's an undertaking for those

of you who are uninitiated. It takes a couple of minutes. It's awful. The farthest I've driven is to... I know I've driven to phoenix arizona how far is that from you is that like 24 hours of driving it was broken up across like three days because it was kind of a multi-leg trip we were going to different places and doing different things but uh it was like it was like five days of total driving, I think.

I flew for half of it. Like, I flew from Atlanta into Albuquerque, but I drove on the way back, and that was not pleasant. Furthest I've driven is Michigan. I forget the town exactly. Prince or something? It was right near Kalamazoo. I knew that.

Oh, up in the UP? That's where my wife is from. I love that area near Kalamazoo I knew that oh up in the UP that's where my wife is from I love that area uh it's kind of colors who's not UP is that not okay never mind that's but I don't know the UP that well I know Escanaba I know like Gladstone I love Marquette but I don't really know I don't know Chicago Toledo I gotcha hey did you uh you want your topic oh, we didn't do boogies. Hey, I wanted to talk about Steam's

new plan. Holy shit, have you heard about this? No. You guys have been playing a lot of PC games when you game lately, right? So modding is probably the best part of PC gaming, right? Because Skyrim is a completely different game on PC than it is on

Xbox or PlayStation. So the guys over at Steam have finally determined that they're going to help people monetize modifying. And so basically, you'll be able to charge for any mods you create for a game if that game chooses to participate

in charging mods. Skyrim being the first one. And the pack that they have up, and I may be misquoting this here, is a $30 pack, which is more expensive than Skyrim is, I think. A $30 pack, and that's discounted. That's the discounted price. And it contains basically just 17 weapons. Oh, no. They have now added microtransactions to Skyrim.

Nah, there's no way. That won't fly. Well, obviously, like within 10 minutes, they had to remove comments from the page because people were just shitting all over the place. And I'll tell you right here, as somebody who creates content for the internet, I believe a modder should be able to have a way to get paid.

Yeah, I think so. I think donation buttons are a great way to do it. Donations through YouTube. This is not the way to get paid. I think donation buttons are a great way to do it. Donations through YouTube. This is not the way to do it, specifically because Steam plus the publisher keeps 75% giving only 25% to the modder.

So that's going to encourage very expensive prices, because at $10 the modder is only going to get $250. I mean, that's ludicrous. I would like it if the modders could get some kind of compensation i think it would produce much better mods and there'd be a lot more standardization in the mods because sometimes i have i'm reading on forums trying to figure out which one which one of the grass effect mods i want like oh well this one will give me more frames actually because it's about this one is a better texture pack i don't

know it goes if there was money, you'd have better mods. Like for Civilization V, there's a Game of Thrones mod that I'm really interested in. I really want to play this. But there's three or four different versions of it. Three of them just don't fucking work, and one of them only kind of works. And I just feel like if that guy were getting 50 cents apiece,

he'd have thousands and thousands of dollars pushing him towards making this mod work. In order for him to clear 50 cents a piece before taxes, because he's going to have to file on a Schedule C. I told you we'd talk about taxes. He's going to have to file that on a Schedule C. He'd have to earn a charge of about $2.50 to $3 in that neighborhood for him to clear 50 cents.

Yeah, that's a bullshit system. That'll never fly. So it's not that I'm against the idea. I'm against the implementation. Yeah, and I wouldn't pay for that either because you mentioned $30 for a bunch of swords or something. When I mod Skyrim, I would sit there for hours at a time

installing and removing, just seeing if I liked it or not. And by that rate, I would have had to spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars. They are giving us 24 hours to refund a mod purchase. So that's a step in the right direction. Although it also depends on what kind of bundle the mods come in. Because sometimes a mod is literally just one weapon.

And sometimes it's a huge pack of weapons. mods come in. Because sometimes a mod is literally just one weapon, and sometimes it's a huge pack of weapons. Right, exactly. Exactly. And of course, there's still Skyrim Nexus, which is giving away many of the mods they're charging for, obviously for free still. There's always going to be competition, but we have now entered the day and age in which we are now going to see people

pirating mods, which is mind-boggling to me. And it all really comes down to, I think the backlash isn't about Skyrim itself, and it's not about this system itself. I think it's that people are just really tired of getting nickel-and-dimed. And I don't know what games you guys are playing right now, but I'll

bet dollars to donuts, and you know I like donuts. I'll bet dollars to donuts that whatever game you're playing right now has some built-in microtransactions of some fucking sort. If it doesn't, it's got a DLC pack that's been announced that's on its way or you've already purchased. If not, it's got some sort of skin. What are you playing right now? I'm playing Civ.

I'm playing Civilization V. NHL 15. Well, then we know. Wait, there's nothing in NHL 15? What? There's nothing to download to make my character better. I had to play a whole fucking season with a shit-tier character just to get him up to decent.

So NHL 15 is not one of the games that does the booster packs of cards to build your team and all that crap? It doesn't do that? No, they don't do that. I would have paid for something if they had to make it quicker. See, that's the rub.

That's the rub. Siv the rub. Civ is old. Kyle acted like Civ didn't have DLC. It's old, so we bought everything at one time. Like, I forget what... I actually messed up. I bought... I'm not going to make up the numbers, but I bought, like, a $10 DLC pack, and then I realized I needed to buy, like,

the $30 DLC pack, so, like a genius, I bought both. But now I never need anything else. Yeah, and if anyone wants to come play some Civilization with me, I think it's like $30 for everything now. Like all the DLC and the game for Civilization 5. Don't get Beyond New

Earth. It sucks. No, get Civilization 5. It's real good. You can come play with me and get your ass handed to you, because that's what's been happening all fucking week. Got a real undefeated streak right now.'s that can choose hang with you at this point all right so let me tell you what happened in our last game because the answer is yes um but it really depends on the scenario we play in it in some scenarios i feel like i can wipe the floor with him and some i feel like it just it's me pulling my hair out because the way He plays the game, but last time we played it was me him and two

maybe three fans and And I swear I tweeted out to try to get people to join our game or whatever there's this guy named Lord Commander Jon Snow and I was like yeah, let's get him in there. I'll be John's any even his avatar It was Jon Snow. I was like this is the cool guy and I guess we're at term like 75 turns into the game which is probably an hour and a half maybe two hours and i am just killing it like the two are everybody's sending their scouts to my city to even look at it they're like jesus kyle you're booming and i'm like yeah i am i am doing great and i don't really have much of

an army i've got two warriors that are set there on defense. And fucking Lord Commander Jon Snow attacks me. And in the chat, he goes, Kyle was woefully undefended. And in fact, so I took all the cities and crushed him and kicked him out of the game and called him a dumbass. But what made me mad

is that he didn't know what the fuck he was doing. If he had come at me with like four trebuchets and four swordsmen and crushed me, I'd have been like outplayed. He really just came at me and crushed me. That's not what he did though. He would just send like two compound archers at a

time to just kind of fuck with me. And because he's putting all his production in these compound archers and his people are all unhappy and shit, it's just driving him into the ground he has the lowest score he's got like 250 points and meanwhile chiz is up in the north just living large nobody's fucking with chiz and i said it in the chat like somebody was like what's going on over there i'm like i'm like well there's no point in even bothering i was like

chiz has already won the game no one can can catch him. Not even me. Lord Commander Snow here slowed me down enough for Chiz to take the lead. And that's exactly what happened. I was killing Chiz by like 200 points. And by the end, we just all forfeited to Chiz. Last time we all played together, we were the same team. But

I was off in the east. Living large. Chiz was to my north. Kyle was to my west or something. Northwest. I just felt so protected. There was no one to my southwest. I was like, oh, I'm fucking living large.

I'm all set. I was able to... I hardly built anything that could fight for the first thousand years on this thing. It wasn't until they're like mobile infantry or something that I started building. Yeah, you need to come play with us again. I like that.

No. No, I don't need to do that at all. No. No. Chiz and I were in a Skype call and Woody kind of like joined us. We've got like a three-person Skype conversation thing. So when there's an active call, the third person can just hop in at any moment. And he's like, hey, what are you guys doing?

We're about to play some Civ. You want to come play? And he just goes. And it's just like Woody is hung up. Go on. Last time we played, it was like 7.30 p.m. And they're like, hey, you want to play? And I'm like, you know, why not? You know, that'll be cool. We wrapped up at like30 p.m. And they're like, hey, you want to play? And I'm like, you know, why not?

You know, that'll be cool. We wrapped up at like 4 a.m. And it was so long. The last like three hours were just queued up like about to fight. We're about to take out this demigod. And it was too slow for me. We were playing the game on the hardest difficulty, three versus one. And if we had attacked even ten turns earlier than we did,

we would have lost. It was a... I'm telling you... It would have been a bloodbath. I had so many troops that it was a pain in the ass just to tell them to wait. How long does one turn take in this game? It depends.

It depends on how many units you depends. Just give me an average. Normal amount of time one turn takes. Okay, throughout most of the game, a turn takes me like 15 seconds, but when it's in war and I have lots of things I'm going to control individually, a turn can take 5-7 minutes.

So 10 turns can take an hour. An hour or more. Yes. That's not until late in the game. The game progresses at pretty much the same speed, and it slowly gets slower as your empire grows larger. It makes sense if you think about it. You just have more to do, more to control.

And you can auto-select a turn timer to encourage slow-playing players. And generally, it'll be to, like, two or three minutes late game per turn but when you go into war with other human players suddenly you have to play in sequential turns rather than simultaneous a lot of the times unless you've changed your settings and that takes a long time because you have to wait for me to do all of my shit you have to like react to it and it's just that takes forever it turns into like a turn-based strategy or a, yeah,

it's what it is, but I prefer to have everything simultaneous so everybody's just clicking really fast. Get some uber-micro skills involved. You should play, Taylor. I've got... Yeah, Taylor, you should play. Yeah, get involved. You should play. You will like it.

You know how Painkiller already sometimes runs until midnight or even 1am? If you like that, you'll love Civ. I love Civ. I'd love to spend 10 hours a day playing a game that you guys only complain about.

10 hours a day? Oh, you're adorable. Try 10 hours all night or 14 hours all night. You're ruined. You can play short games of Civ that last a couple 10 hours all night or 14 hours all night. You're ruined. If you want to, Civ can take... You can play short games of Civ that last a couple of hours or you can play really long drawn out games. The things... I'm just going to be honest here. I'm going to tell

the truth. The reason our game in particular took quite so long is because you don't have a lot of experience with the game and your unit management is not on par with where it should be so sometimes especially in war when you're trying to like move that vast armor you've built it takes seven or eight minutes and chiz and i are long done and like i went upstairs and made a boat

okay okay i need to defend myself one i had three times as many like warriors ready to fight two i'll get you let's get you right now let's get you let's get you i would but it would ruin the fucking screen layout one i had a lot more troops to control than kyle two the what i had to do is take this gigantic army and put it through a passageway that was like two tiles wide and kyle was standing on them passageway that was like two tiles wide and Kyle was standing on them. It's true! None of these things are true.

Woody gets very frustrated with the game sometimes. But it's true! It's completely true! It's completely... Kyle, you know it's true! I think what you're referring to is that there's only so many spaces that directly rub against an enemy's capital city

or any city for that matter. There are hexes that are adjacent to it and then there are those beyond that. And I think that the two on the left of his city you felt should have been yours because you were bringing your army of artillery. But the reason I didn't want to give you those squares, I'll tell you, it's a little boring,

but A, I wanted to keep those adjacent hexes occupied so the enemy couldn't spawn a unit unless he spawned it directly into the water, which is a really weak place to put a unit. B, that was a melee unit I had. It was an infantry unit, and that's what you want there next to their city.

And C, all of your units were artillery units, so they've got two hexes of range. I was there to protect your units. That's all that unit was going to do because if you attack... Oh my god, who cares? Take the portal of this and stretch it out for 14 hours.

No, no, no. This is a whole new fucking level of boring. I don't give two shits about how easy it was. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. This is so... You talked about magic for 20 minutes

before this thing started. You guys were talking about finding cards and decks and being excited about them and stuff. I'm talking about a strategy game. Oh yeah, Magic the Gathering isn't strategy. Did you notice one decisive thing about me and Boogie's magic discussion? It happened before

the fucking show. We didn't talk about it. We didn't bring our boring... I feel like Woody is being misleading. I feel like... No! I'm not a liar! It's exactly like I said it happened. It was only two tiles

wide. He was standing on one of the tiles. He did also do the other thing where he blocked the city and I wanted to attack the city. He needed help. I didn't give a fuck about this, but he's like, if you don't come from the bottom, this guy's going to kill me from the top.

So Dragon is a pretty good set, huh? I promised you, if we got Chiz in here, he would side with me on this one. You want to play a true strategy game, play Magic the Gathering. That game is fucking awesome. You want to bitch about it. You can download Magic 2015 or 2014 right now for free on your iPad or any other device. And it's super good.

How do you play Magic the Gathering? It's so much fun, man. It is so much fun. Okay, let me just go ahead and say, 20 years of addiction later, I'm biased, obviously, but it is without a doubt the purest strategy game I've ever played.

It's also the most expensive. There is no top to the amount of money you can buy. You could buy a $20,000 single card, one card, 20 grand, on an Alpha Black Lotus. If you really want to spend money on this game, there is no end to it. You can also play this game on a budget.

But the Black Lotus is a very handy card because it allows you to do shit with mana without burning your turn. Am I getting close at all? That's close. That was the big one. $20,000's easily worth that. What if I counterfeited a Black Lotus card?

How would you know? Actually, there's a term for it. You have to be super careful right now if you're buying expensive cards, because the Chinese counterfeits are getting incredible. If my budget for making a fake Magic the Gathering card is $100,000, I think I'm going to beat the collectors, right? Well, I mean, yeah, obviously. The good ones are $20,000.

Yeah, make five of them. They did a lot of stuff to keep their cards from being counterfeited very easily, but the Chinese guys are really dedicated to doing it, and they really, really want that American money, I guess. I don't know. So the counterfeiting each cycle is getting better and better. In this latest cycle, if you were holding

one of the counterfeits and the official card in your hand, and the chances of you picking it out that way is almost 0%. There's a term for the counterfeit card. There are people who like gild them, or maybe they'll use a cheap card and turn it into a better one, and it's even semi-accepted in certain circles.

These guys are just printing them. I'm not talking about those guys. I'm talking about the people who do it at home and rub the gilding onto the next card. Proxying. Proxy. That's what I'm going for. Now, that is, without a doubt, still copyright infringement. You're running a risk.

For personal use, Wizards does not frown upon it because there's some cards that are impossible to get. If you sell that shit on Etsy and stuff, they will shut you down. Oh, yeah. I was going to say, some people are like, yeah, this is a proxy match. So people have black lotuses and stuff. Is that where you go. I was going to say, some people are like, yeah, this is a proxy match. Is that where you go for those bootleg Black Lotuses?

Well, no. Those you have to find on the Chinese website. I'm obviously not going to tell you to go there. Because chances are you're going to find a virus trying to find the actual site. I'm going to go buy a $4 million Magic the Gathering deck for like $85. But a real collector knows the bend test,

knows the microwave test, knows the flashlight test, knows the blacklight test. You're never going to sell it to me. Let me ask you. How long does it take to learn to play Magic? Do what? How long does it take to learn to play Magic?

If you download the 2014 software, which is free, by the way, you're going to have the basics understood within 30 minutes. If you want to master the game, spend the rest of your life mastering that game. We couldn't just all hit the magic website and play each other right now. No, it did take a little while to get through

the basics, I think. It would take a while to explain to you what it is, but you can figure out the basics of it in half an hour. There are so many keywords that you won't know what the fuck they mean when someone brings an older card into play that it'll take another five minutes. Or even trying to get certain concepts like the mana pool into people's mind. Like, you tap a land, what does that do?

Well, it gives me the mana to cast my spell. No, it adds the mana to the mana pool, then I drain the pool to put the mana into the spell. Simple concepts like that, they're not that intuitive so you have to take a bit of a leap to really get into the the depth of it and then when it comes to like the like the full-on rules like my friend jason is like a level two judge he could spend two hours talking you about layering and how it would officially work you know like the actual because there's i mean what twenty thousand thirty thousand cards i don't even know how many cards oh yeah explaining the and how it would officially work. You know, like the actual... Because there's, I mean, what, 20,000, 30,000 cards?

I don't even know how many cards... Oh, yeah. Explaining the stack to people takes a minute. So I have a question. So how do you play online? If I wanted to play against you right now, how do you play? And also, forgive me...

There's two different ways. The easiest way is Duels of the Planeswalker 2014. You can buy it for $9.99 on Steam. You can buy, like, the gold set for, like, $20. You can download on iPad for free, on Nexus for free. I highly recommend you try that. It'll teach you the rules and everything

else. There's also Mad at the Gathering Online, which kind of sucks. The software is super shitty, and all the cards cost as much as real cards. But if you're a purist like me, you're going to play Magic Online sometimes. Is it a heads-up game? I don't know anything about it. Is it a heads-up game, or could four of us play in a free-for-all time?

It's multiplayer. You can play multiplayer. If you play Commander or something like that, it's more fun, but you can also play multiplayer with 60 card decks. I'll tell you what. I would be happy to play Magic the Gathering online. Are you shaking your head at the light, or at the idea of playing Magic the Gathering online with... What are you... Are you shaking your head at the light

or at the idea of playing Magic the Gathering? I'm like, oh, I'm trying to do some lighting here. I'm just getting worse. I could be, like, spooky. That's awful, man. If you guys ever want to do a PKA Plays, I think it would be very fun. I think it would be cool to learn a game that... There's an Xbox version.

Did they tell you that while I was gone? They did, but the Steam client seems like the way to go, right? That's a good way to go, but I'd like to do the Xbox version because otherwise on the Steam version I'll have to spend $200 to rebuild a deck that's cheap. It's not fair for you to start

out with your badass deck. Duels of the Planeswalker 2014, what they allow you to do is they'll give you five decks when you buy the base game or whatever. Then you can unlock decks by progressing through the game. And then you can unlock cards for those decks. It gives you – I mean, like, it's a $20 purchase, so you don't ever have to spend any money to get the magic experience in the digital realm. I'm sure it's inexpensive.

It'll be no trouble. So if we were going to do this thing – And that would put everybody on even footing, too, by the way. Because they're going to be playing with these pre-made decks, you know what I'm saying? And they'll be able to tailor them a little bit as they play and unlock and grind a little bit. But, I mean, I think that's the way to go if you guys decide to do it. Hell, I would watch that. Hell, I'd beat your asses all night if you want. Oh, you think so?

That's big talk, mister. I think I could pull out a winner, too. I think I could pull out a winner, too. I think I could pull out a couple wins. Well, that's the best part about Magic, and I'll tell you, a lot of people say, I like games without random chance in them. But if you're a board gamer like me, you know that Puerto Rico has

no luck involved whatsoever. But the problem with Puerto Rico is that it is a computation. It's not a game. There are defined strategies that always work, and if you, you determining the turn order determines the winner, if everybody there knows the strategy, that's the problem with that. Luck is a very important part of gaming. It just has to be there. RNG is a thing. It's got to be there. And so Magic has just enough RNG to where when you win, you felt like you won, but when you lost, you can blame the cards. And that's the beauty of that game.

To this day, 20 years later, I'm still like, man, if I drew the right fucking thing, I'd have been fine here. That's what makes it so good, is you can outsource all responsibility for a loss onto your draw and be like, ah, if I had drawn better, I would have done better. Well, no shit. That's how every game works. Well, I think you should play.

Yes, you should. But there definitely should be rules. If I were going to compete against anyone in some sort of a Let's Play, for example, I think that it should be something where everybody gets three decks or everybody gets five decks. I shouldn't be over here spending $100

to get 15 decks or something. That's what I'm saying. The 2014 software, if you buy the gold pack, you get access to, I think, 15 different decks or whatever, and they're all pre-made, and then you can spend a little more to unlock the cards. You can play the game to unlock the cards,

which is the better way to do it. I don't recommend 2015 because you're building your own decks there, and it's not good for new players as much. It's more for an advanced player. But get the 2014 software. Everybody's on even footing. You'll be set. Trust me. That's the way to go. I promise you, promise you, promise you. That'd be cool to do. We just did a

PK Plays on Woody's Minecraft server. We played Halo, which was... Dude, you know what my high point for the Halo game was? So Kyle was looking for a better term than contractually obligated. No, no, that's not what I was going for. Kyle played Halo with us

because someone on Patreon donated money and, a Patreon, donated money. And, you know, this is his job. And then afterwards, we were live streaming it. I forget. I had some Woody Craft event. Oh, play with staff, right? When all the staff gets together and we play with other people, et cetera. And I was like, all right, Kyle, you can go now.

And he's like, I don't really want to. I want to keep playing. Is that okay? And it's like, that was the coolest part. That made me feel really good. Kyle's hooked. It's fun. It really is fun. I think I learned

more about how to play that thing by just watching your videos because I wasn't jumping around. I wasn't sprinting. I wasn't thinking of it like Halo, but you really have to think of it as Halo, not Minecraft. That's bizarre. Anyone who's a Halo fan and a Minecraft fan, you'll absolutely love it.

It's great. Yeah, Boogie doesn't know, but I have this Minecraft server, WoodyCraft.net. WoodyCraft.net! Thanks. I actually heard that mentioned in the wild the other night, actually. I was playing Grand Theft Auto, streaming, and somebody's like, hey, you guys, I was joking around, I got this joke I do on my stream when I screw with other people in video Auto streaming and somebody's like, hey, you guys, I was joking around.

I got this joke I do on my stream when I screw with other people in video games. And I'm like, hey, add my Steam. It's a www, www, www, www, www, www, www. And I'll just keep doing that. And somebody's like, yeah, man, that'd be cool, man. We could play Minecraft together. You want to get on woodycraft.net?

And I'm like, hey, I know that guy. I felt like I'm healthy you know i met a celebrity my son finds it so colin pimps woody craft like like cold calls like he's doing parkour at the grocery store yeah yeah like colin takes parkour classes which is kind of like a gymnastics type thing or whatever we does like it because it socializes him and uh kids are talking about minecraft maybe you'll have like a minecraft t-shirt on and he's like you should play woody craft you know hello there's a new game type or you should be on factions fire this and that jackie comes home and tells me the stories of it with kyle's like collins recruit recruiting new players he's gonna be a hello pharmaceutical

rep one day that's right he'll be a pharma hottie. But, yeah, we came out with a new game mode, Halo, and it's modeled after Halo, obviously. And we did the new resource pack. So in Minecraft, there's no guns. But on WoodyCraft, there is because we would, like, take, like, a wooden hoe and make our own images of it so you're holding a gun.

And it turned out really, really well. Like, I'm super happy with it. make our own images of it so you're holding a gun and uh it turned out really really well like i'm super happy with it so and i think uh i think like any game like at first i went in there and like i said i just wasn't thinking of it like halo so like i i didn't think about where the power weapons are but a few of those maps i knew you know from halo and i was like wait a minute that's i know where the fucking rocket launcher is let's go and when i got the rocket launcher and even the sniper rifle uh i'm a better sniper uh in in that than i am in halo it seems pretty easy to lock on with a mouse and keyboard so it sounds like you're better i had a good time i don't hit shit with the sniper right i saw no you you know you sniped a guy out in your

video if i no scoped a guy i was a little lucky right because i'm i no scope miss as well i uh i like the rocket launcher. That's my favorite. Oh, yeah. That was nice. It's fun in the real game too. But we redid the audio and we redid the texture pack and stuff. So it's all this like Minecraft cartoon battling.

And all of a sudden the rocket launcher comes and just like kicks ass. It's almost out of place. And that's what's so fun about it. That's my favorite. But then I die too quickly or i kill myself and i'm not really good at it but i have a good time with it you're better than i am and i had a good time that's impressive i haven't played minecraft in a while but you know i uh i did this uh cross promotion on my channel for uh lego dimensions because i don't know i'm real real into the toys to life genre.

I've been collecting Amiibo and then I started collecting Skylanders and I started collecting Disney Infinity and now I'm broke. Lego Dimensions, what is that? It's basically their whole answer to Skylanders. You're going to get Lego figures. You're going to put them on the thing

and then you'll play inside the game and there's just like back to the future. Man, they should be paying me for this dude my wife plays the Lego games half of my gamer score is her beating like Lego Indiana Jones, Lego Harry Potter this is

the base Lego game is like 99 bucks it comes with a stand and a bunch of figures and then they'll release expansion packs for like 30 bucks with more figures you can put on the pedestal which relate to characters you play in the game and then like they said they'll never change the engine for like for many years so your collection will stay useful forever you don't have to buy a new game every year you just buy like expansions and stuff like that but uh um because i i realized i had not owned a lego set ever in my life like

when i was a kid, we were kind of broken. Like Lego sets were a thing, but the, the Legos I would get were like thrift store fines or whatever. And like mega blocks or whatever. So you were getting like shitty mega blocks introduced to your Legos and you were getting like half completed millennium Balkans.

It was awful. So I, I went to the Lego aisle after doing that promotion and I'm like, I should just buy some Lego just to support the company that supported my channel. I found the Minecraft ones and they're so cool. Oh my god, they're cool.

I can't tell you how much fun I'm having with Lego and it's so sad because I used to make fun of people for being into Lego but being like a 50 year old man or whatever. I'm like, why are you into Lego? Now I get it. The Minecraft shit is so cool. It's so proud of my first build.

I don't even know how many Minecraft Lego sets I've bought. Caught there for Colin and something like 15? I don't even know. It's an ordeal moving it. We haven't done the Lego know like it it's an ordeal moving it we don't have we haven't done the lego transportation yet because it's all kind of it's not fragile but you don't want it to like come

apart and stuff right right so uh but yeah colin we have to buy new shelving for this stuff like we don't really have proper display for all colin's lego stuff he likes it too i that's what i'm loving about having a new place is that we had really outgrown our old space Because you know you got to have studio space And you got to have gaming space And you got to have space for my wife She likes the kitchen She wants to decorate the living room

We had one spare bedroom but we need more than that We needed more room for our weekly gatherings We got 10 or 15 people that come to those regularly now We've got to have space to fit them That's a lot of people Yeah well I've got a lot of friends man It's nice These are people yeah well i've got a lot of friends man it's it's it's nice these are people that were these are people that were supporting me when i was like broke broke

broke broke broke like starting youtube and it's all people from the magic community that's the other thing the reason i'm such a proselytized for magic is every person in my life with the exception of my wife who i met through youtube um every really good person that's a close friend of mine i met over a game of magic including the guy who gave me a place to live when i was homeless i mean you know i mean magic has been so important in my life but and you got me on that topic but uh but yeah we have like 10 or 15 people to come over on uh once a week and we do a little party we play board games we play We play Mario Kart. We play Mortal Kombat. We play whatever. Smash Brothers. Where do they conjugate in your

house? Is it the kitchen? The old place, there used to just be one place. It was the little room there was in the living space. Now, we have a formal dining room. We have a dining room off the kitchen. We've got the kitchen space with a countertop with bar

stools. We've got that nice big living room. We've got the patio space. a countertop, you know, with a bar stools. And then we got that nice big living room. They've got the patio space. I mean, this house is twice as big as the one we were renting, you know. Right, right. And so now it's funny. You can actually come to one of our parties and not see someone that's been there all night because they're out of the other part of the house, you know. It's just amazing. How big is this house?

It's 2,700 square feet. It's not massive or anything. But, I mean, it's just it's amazing how big is this house it's just it's 2700 square feet it's not massive or anything but i mean it's massive it's literally the house that we lived in when i graduated was three rooms kitchen bedroom living room and then a shitter you know like that was that was our house you know and so it's literally like six times the size of the house i grew up in you know yeah this that's awesome man good for you yeah that's that's super cool it's it's it's it's it's something well i i gotta tell you man i'm you you're the one who nailed it last time i was on the show you're like bogey you gotta spend some of that money some point you gotta do something and not just that i mean like if you have a house

especially if it's paid off you haven't mentioned if it's paid off but um it's super cool to like have that sort of problem solved right and you know and even if the youtube thing wanes at some point then you've got transportation not transportation uh your living worked out your shelter i put a majority of it down but i'm afraid to go broke because let's just be honest as old as i am and as heavy as i am that heart attack or that stroke that either takes me out of this world or takes me out of my ability to work is always looming you know and so having enough met enough money in the bank to where they can never deny me my insurance company could never deny me the medical care that i need you know we have the money let me pay for it do the thing and that's why i maintain so much liquid cash because you know so it's funny are old are you boogie i'm 40 man

i'm turning 41 pretty soon and that's something such a baby you're a baby boogie how old are you woody i never know i'm 42 which is 48 yeah doesn't look a day older i'm actually 42 and with this lighting i'm 48 remember diffuse man i've got a lamp behind my monitor hitting the wall here, and it looks so great. This helps a lot. Diffuse. I mean, Kyle's 37, so he's catching up. Yeah, being old, it's surprising how old YouTubers actually are.

Like, a lot of them still look really young. I think I look younger than I am, certainly, but I don't think I look young by any stretch of the imagination. But it's funny, some of the YouTubers I've met, it's really surprising when they actually tell me their age, I'll be like, well, I'm 40. And they'll be like, no, I'm 41. Bullshit, you're 40. I think a lot of us look better on camera than we do in real life. I've met, I'm not going to say any names, but I've met a lot of YouTubers. And when I meet them in real life, I often find that the guys who i think of as slim and fit sometimes are just slim and fit when they stand like this that's the thing about youtube and

and i know but not just youtube that's the thing about being on camera you know your angle right like kyle what's your most handsome angle i even know it but go on yeah right that's the thing you know that picture of Kyle that everyone shows? Let me see if I can find the picture of Kyle. It's like looking down at him when he's at about waist level. Here it is.

This is the image I was looking for. I like being me because I don't have a good side. I'm always ugly. My best side is from behind. Try to stay back there. I don't have a good side. I'm always From behind It's out here. Oh shucks. I got like a gigantic version Expertise I could probably find a good this is this is a good Kyle picture. I'll share it with the world My vanity knows no bounds, right? I'm gonna go ahead and click. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH This show, I had a conversation about how much I hate that picture. That one in particular.

That was taken by this scumbag Russian photographer at a machine gun shoot. It's not like a... What do they call them? No, it wasn't. That was your high school... No! No, I did not. I didn't have any facial hair like that in high school, I don't think. Listen, no.

Oh, you mean like that? That grizzled beard you're rocking? You couldn't have had that in high school i don't think listen like that that grizzled beard you're rocking you couldn't have had that in high school listen i'm like 26 in that picture 25 i think um but but no that i was i was at a machine gun shoot i was sitting on a bench i was tired and shooting because it was this thing where they had paid me to i think i don't know they paid me to come there but it was one of those things where it was like all the ammo you want, just shoot and have fun. And they literally had a truck full of ammo and I'd been shooting all day and I was really tired

and I was just sitting there and I'm like, I'm sitting like this and I look up. No, you look up differently. You look up coyly. Like you know something everyone else doesn't know. Yeah, I'm looking up like, why the fuck do you have that enormous lid like? Like fucking fucking with his lens and adjusting the ISO or something over there like he's going to town like light like it

It's a it's a professional adjust the ISO in the lens anything else you could have gone with but that's an in-body adjustment Haha, what do you called you on your shit? Things just say ever things that's all Aha! Woody called you on your shit. Just camera things. Just say camera things. That's all. That's definitely a thing. You can't tell how old people are just from their photos or their images through webcam.

I'm actually 51. That's the shock. But when you're on camera a lot, you start to know your angle. Me, for example, I have a big nose, right? So I should be straight into the camera. If I look straight into the camera and keep my chin up, that is my best look. And I feel like everyone kind of figures that out.

It doesn't take long before you realize like, oh, yeah, this is how I should be. That's your best angle, Boogie. I think Boogie's – yeah, that's your best angle. That is my favorite promotional pic we've ever filmed. When I promised everybody that if I hit a certain subscriber milestone, I think it might have been a charity drive, I promised I'd post nudes if it happened.

So that's the nude I posted for everybody. See, with that sheet over you, you look so cherubic and angelic. Just ready to save people. I like it. I could totally titty fuck Boogie. Oh you could, I mean I wouldn't let you.

I'd push him to get it. I want you inside me, honestly. Yeah, well thank you. It would be an honor, Woody. Titty fuck. This was not a consensual titty fuck I was proposing. What I meant to say, sir, proposing. If I wanted to, I could titty rape you.

A little Rohypnol and some wet platinum and we'll go to town. I met, speaking of YouTubers, this is going to totally embarrass her if she ever hears this, but chances of her watching the show is pretty much zero to none.

I met a lot of YouTubers and a lot of industry folks when I went to Vegas this last year for the Video Game Awards or whatever, and it was super awesome. I met Reggie from Nintendo. I met Peter Moore, which is a hell of a good story, by the way. But it was really weird because some of them knew me. But I met iJustine. Do you guys know her?

Yeah. I know of her. She was the nicest human but I met iJustine. Do you guys know her? Yeah. I know of her. She was the nicest human being I have ever fucking met. She's super cool. I could not believe how incredible she was. We talked about how some people look better on camera than they do in real life. She looks better in real life. She looks fantastic in real life.

I couldn't believe it. My wife is like, she is just so beautiful, it's hard to look at her. She's tiny. I'm old now, and that part of me is like almost dead honestly i have testosterone supplements to try to keep that part of me alive you know but i'm like oh yeah she's kind of you know i think i danced with her at pax east once i danced with everyone that night it was non-consensual dancing really go on Go on. But she was, I cannot, I've never in my life, because I'd heard stories about her or whatever, and one of the biggest stories you hear about her is she's not a real gamer.

She's not a real gamer. And I've even perpetuated that once. A long time ago, I made that joke in a public place. I forget where it was. Maybe my subreddit or something like that. But I'm like, so, you know, she's like, I hate that comment and I'm like well what are you playing right now she's like smash and I'm like well who's your main right now and she's like I really like Pac-Man I don't know what to do with his down b though his fire hydrant attack is like real and

I'm like oh shit so you are like a real gamer right he's like Pac-Man's the best in smash right now he's like super imba he's like super good if you know how to play him. His down B is really weird. And I'm like, oh, okay, so you are a real gamer. And then we talked about League. We talked about all the other games she played. It was just amazing. It was weird. But that's what reminded me of her, was that she was actually

prettier in real life than she is on the internet. She is. Really weird. Kyle is also prettier in real life. Kyle is prettier in real life than on the internet too. I don't know if you're joking, but I saw Kyle at the paintball event. Kyle is at his peak hotness right now. You really are.

You are adorable. You really are. Kyle's a hot fella. You should see me in a jockstrap. We should be clear. I rate about a 1 on the Kinsey scale. I rate about a 1 on the Kinsey scale i rate about a one on the kinsey scale just enough to be able to be slightly aware of how hot a dude is and kyle you could get me up

to a two buddy well thank you i i'm not gay but for kyle for kyle right that means a lot to me thank you very much um if i've noticed i've noticed you know over the last maybe six months like a lot of dudes just been let me know that I'm looking good. They're like, oh, Kyle, you've been working out. You look great. Not one girl. Not one girl. Not one girl.

It's like, oh, you are looking great. It's like 15 dudes who are just like, Kyle's looking nice. I'd like to look like Kyle. When I was in my 20s, actually, it was really kind of weird because I've never had that much trouble with girls, and I don't think it's any of this alpha latest shit i've just always been confident who i am but every girl i've ever dated approached me i don't i've never approached a woman wouldn't even know where to begin if i talk to a woman it's never like game or anything like that i just talk to a woman and i treat her the way i would treat anybody else in this room or any other human being i'd ever treat i talked i'd ask him what their interests were i find a common interest i talk to him about it if it leads somewhere that's great if it doesn't who gives a shit i'm

you know but now that i'm married i mean all that's behind me obviously well it's not about game and that shit it's making them laugh right it's about making them laugh that's a huge thing but i've only been in about seven relationships they don't notice when you drop the Rohypnol in. They start laughing. And you're just like, what? They'll notice the subtle movements of your hand over their drink. And then they won't drink it, and the whole night's lost. Because then you have to leave that bar. And then you're down 50 bucks worth of

Rohypnol again. Exactly. And then it's just a waste, and you bring that drink to another bar and set it in front of someone else. You need better connections. I get my roofies way cheaper. 50 months is a month's supply for me. Look at this guy. I don't have a drug guy at all.

Of course not. In my middle 20s, I had a period of time where I was way more attractive to dudes than I was girls. I was not meeting any girls. I wasn't talking to any girls. But I would, like, be at a gas station playing, like, their fucking arcade game or whatever.

And, like, a guy would come up to me and put his hands on me and be like, oh, I really like the way you play that game. And I'm like, what? What is happening? Why am I, like, good? It happened. What the reality? That's the reality.

That's the reality. That's the reality. That's the reality. That's the reality. That's the reality. That's the reality. That's the reality. That's the reality.

That's the reality. That's the reality. That's the reality. That's the reality. That's the reality. That's the reality. That's the reality. That's the reality.

That's the reality. That's the reality. That's the reality. That's the reality. That's the reality. That's the reality. That's the reality. That's the reality.

That's the reality. That's the reality. That's the reality. That's the reality. That's the reality. That's the reality. That's the reality. That's the reality.

That's the reality. That's the reality. That's the reality. That's the reality. That's the reality. That's the reality. That's the reality. That's the reality.

That's the reality. That's the reality. That's the reality part on Garland in Fayetteville, Arkansas. They had the Marvel versus Capcom machine. I'm playing that thing. I think it was Marvel versus. It was one of the Marvel fighters. One moment.

Did he happen to have like a cup full of quarters? No. No. You said he put it in your hand. Did he put his hands on both shoulders? He put one hand on my back. He stood to my right because I'm on the left-hand stick. He puts his hand on my back and then puts his right hand on my arm and says i really like the way you're playing that game

yeah and i'm like oh and he goes like you know you've got really nice hands and i'm like well thanks dude and i'm like i just left because i didn't know what to do with that because i wasn't interested but i don't want to insult the guy because i'm glad that he's interested i'm glad that he's found something he likes but i don't recipro to insult the guy because I'm glad that he's interested. I'm glad that he's found something he likes, but I don't reciprocate it, so I just want to go. You were in an arcade. No, this is in the back of a gas station. Do you have awesome calves?

I need to know because you might. Awesome calves? Yeah. I bet he does have awesome calves. I have lymphedema down there. It's really scary. Oh, I thought that was a chance too. There's this thing about me and my calves as legend, whatever. Wings of Redemption was like, I'd like to see these calves. And his weren't that defined, but holy fuck.

Like, we both held an Xbox controller next to them for scale. Wings of Redemption's calves are powerful. They are huge, and they dwarf an Xbox controller. He's a legit competitor i have big thighs and there is a little bit of fat on them obviously but i have real powerful thighs and uh i i would imagine my calves are probably real powerful just who would know because of all that lymphedema down there man it's like will that go away if you cut the weight nope that's uh stage one or stage okay lymphedema all right if you're a big guy and you have swelling

in your legs uh it could be for one of two reasons number one is congestive heart failure and if you're suffering from congestive heart failure go to the doctor immediately before you fucking die okay if you have swelling in your legs go to a doctor immediately okay second reason is because of lymphedema or some sort of venous stasis disease and basically you have an insufficiency in your um either lymph system or blood system you see everything from getting your legs go to the doctor what if your legs are just swole shut up woody jesus what is that room i have a question is that room you're in just incredibly enormous or is that a tiny door at the end it's a tiny door it's a tiny okay just just check and make sure that wall wasn't 150 feet away all right good to know dude when i got water remember before

the show i had to go get water i'm sorry i'm ruining your story boogie i actually the water was in the guest house. So I actually hopped in the golf cart, drove over to the guest house, got some water and came back. What, why is the door so tiny? It's too an attic. You ever seen the movie The Borrowers? It looks like a couple of borrowers are gonna crew through there. I wish I could show you better. Do you wanna see? Nobody's seen The Borrowers? That's that's a terrible movie oh does it have like

little animals and stuff that's a real good place to keep the corpses just to be honest with you it is yeah because it's dry up there you know look at that you mummify them they're not gonna ride but at the same time you can't go into a room in someone's home and see something like that and think they aren't a maniac because no one who's not a maniac has use for that. What you do is you put a sign on that door that says no curses allowed. Oh, yeah. You diffuse the suspicions.

No, what allowed? I missed it. Oh, we were talking about how someone who has that door in their home looks like a homicidal maniac. But that you're definitely not that's the one we made that like packing for paintball video in it's a big attic it's like well no that's cool it's not big where are you in your home right now you're not in the basement anymore no this is um i guess it's a bedroom and i'm using it as an office it's um it's above the kitchen on the northern part of

the house wow you mean to say you're using eight percent of your bedrooms as a broadcasting center that's pretty impressive it's good for you good to have one that's gonna get you in a lot of trouble when you file for that home office tax exemption because now we know we know exactly how much space all right yeah and how many bodies but to answer your question lymphedema is an insufficiency in either the blood or the lymph system that causes swelling and after a period of time that swelling will turn into a sponge-like material and that sponge like because the body's got to find a way to store that extra fluid some way and that sponge-like material will never go away aside from surgery wait so it becomes a sponge like so the fluid accumulates around the ankles or whatever and then eventually the flesh around there just becomes like spongiform and it

just absorbs that back in right right right i can compress it and get the liquid out of there which i do several days a week and i there's also, I mean, it's excruciating to compress them, like actual hell. Like it's literally just white hot fire nightmare hell. Do you have to do it with both ankles or just one ankle? Yeah, I have to wear these compression socks on them. And then on top of that, I'm also adding ace bandages on the outside now. And I try to tighten it up even more. And I get that fluid out of there. And if I don't do that, it'll continue adding ace bandages on the outside now, and I try to tighten it up even more.

And I get that fluid out of there. And if I don't do that, it'll continue to grow and get bigger and bigger and bigger. Jesus Christ. And it makes walking unbearably uncomfortable. Everybody's like, oh, my God. You've got to walk several miles a day. Well, walking is just unbearably painful. I just can't describe the amount of pain because of that lymphedema. And I can't wear normal shoes and shit.

This is a constant upkeep thing. You have to constantly upkeep this. This is... Being healthy for you guys involves stuff like getting your exercise and eating right. Being healthy for me is like taking a cocktail of pills every day and maintaining my lymphedema

and all that stuff. I'm working on that every day. That's why it's a little more difficult to find time to do some of the stuff that you guys do. But I'm also trying to find time to do that. And I need to because it's my life. I'm not making excuses. That's my primary purpose is to stay alive. Obviously, that's what we all do.

So I'm trying to find the time every day to do that. If you lose enough weight, will this go away? The lymphedema will never go away. The symptoms will improve because obviously my heart will be able to keep up a little better. My lymph system will be able to keep up a little better. I take a diuretic, of course, too, to keep the water flowing, to keep it from getting on there. So I'm constantly dehydrated, which makes it easier to get out of breath. It triggers my asthma more often.

It's a shitty situation. And that's what – I mean, I was always big. I was like 350 when I got lymphedema. I hit 550 because of the lymphedema. I was depressed. I didn't want to move. I couldn't walk. Hurt to stand. Hurt to lay down. Hurt to move. Food tasted good, though, still. So,

I ate food because it made me happy. I will do something for PK that I've never done on any YouTube channel, if you want to see it. I will show you these legs that I've never done on any YouTube channel if you want to see it. I will show you these legs. You know we do. Shut up, Kyle. Alright.

Let's see if I can get these on camera. This is what my leg looks like. This is the healthy one. Flex your calf. Oh, that looks nice. Let's see if I can do it.

Let's see if I can get it to do it here. Now I'm pressing into the spongy material. And I'm going to let... God, this hurts. But now I'm going to let go. Don't do it if it hurts. Look at this. Can you see the... What?

What? Yeah, my leg is a fucking horror show. My goodness. And then this is the unhealthy one. Before you do, do you have anything else you can press into it, like a toy or like a face imprint? Legos. Oh, yeah.

Hold on. Let's see. I've got Illidan here. I've got an Illidan pop vinyl laying nearby. Oh, perfect. Perfect. This will be particularly excruciating. Your home looks beautiful, by the way.

Thank you. It's really nice, man. Thank you very much. Don't do that. I feel like it's going to pop. Oh, the horns hurt so bad. I was not prepared for this. No pain, no gain, baby.

Bring the bird. Here we go. I don't like any of that. Nice. Oh. How long does it stay like that? That's its new life. Forever. bring the bird I don't like any of that that's it oh my god I like the ceilings that's pretty nice yeah right I like the ceilings to very nice to yeah Jamal was not there work is hard we when we moved into this place, it was move-in ready, actually. It's a fairly newer home, and it only had one owner, and that owner took immaculate care of it.

And we looked at several places, like brand new built for the same price. And ultimately what we liked about this one is we loved all the detailing. We loved everything. We had no wants or need to change it. And we really wanted to get out of the place we were living because our landlord was not a very good person. She was not a very kind landlord at all. Six months ago, we reported a leak in the bathroom that was leaking directly into the drywall. And she's like, all right, well, if you want to call a plumber to get it fixed, that's fine.

But otherwise, I don't give a shit. And I'm like, whoa, we're moving. That's what you want. The washing machine broke, and my friend who knows machines came over, and he looked at it and goes, yeah, it's just a $5 piece, but I'm not an electrician, so I really shouldn't replace it on her machine. I called her, and I'm like, it's a $5 piece. We know what the problem is. All you got to do is send a guy in to put it in. It'll probably run you $30, $40.

And she's like, nope. Do you want a new washing machine? Buy one or you can go to laundromat. I'm like, okay. So I bought one. And of course, we took it with us. I'm not going to buy her one. And anyway, when we moved out, we went back to get some stuff on our last day there.

And the maintenance guy's there. And he's like, man, you really should have done something about this leak leaking into the drywall in the bathroom. And I'm like, it ain't my place. I don't give a shit. Like, let it ruin the drywall. Let it ruin the neighboring duplex. Let it rot to the ground. I'm not going to spend my money to maintain

your shit. That's ludicrous. It looks like you've moved up though, man. Like, there's some nice crown molding. Yeah, it's beautiful. Show us the ceiling. We want to see the ceiling. It's awesome. It moved up though, man. There's some nice crown molding. It looks like... Show us the ceiling. We want to see the ceiling. The ceiling is so nice. It's a very pretty ceiling. It's a little high, so I'm going to have to really work on

sound diffusion quite a bit to get rid of the echo in here. Other than that, man, I love this place. I'm so happy we bought this. I want to do a house tour, but I'm afraid that's going to help people figure out which town we move to and all that stuff. And I don't want my address leaked again because that sucks super bad.

But then again, who knows? I'll probably do the tour. I'll tell you this, man. We got a bathtub, a jacuzzi tub, and it's the first time I've had a bath in like years because I've been stuck with showers for a while. And now I'm finally getting in and out of the tub. I'm so happy. It helps my back so much. It helps my back so much. It helps my legs so much.

It's so relaxing. I'll get in there for like two hours and watch Netflix or maybe Crunchyroll after I sign up at Crunchyroll.com slash PKA later tonight, of course. Look at this guy. You're the greatest. I know the deal, baby. I know the deal. No, but just having that tub alone was so worth

it like that was worth every penny we spent i'm so happy here my wife loves it too and happy wife happy life right i mean that's the that's the that's a big deal that's and if you figure that out you're you're better for it but we we saw pictures this house. I'll tell you a story. This is as romantic as I get. When I saw my wife on MySpace, which is where we initially contacted each other back in five years ago now.

2010, I guess. I saw a picture of her and I just knew. I saw that picture and I'm like, I hadn't dated in about two years. I didn't care to date. The last girl I dated just ruined me. I was miserable. My mom had just passed. I wasn't even thinking about that. And I determined I would never attempt to date again. Never going to get my heart broke again. Never going to put myself out there again. Besides, look at me. Who would want to date me, right? Like I'm a pilot, whatever, you know? And so I saw that picture of my wife and I immediately

knew. I went, that's the girl. If I could be with a girl like this, if I could be with this girl, my world would be completely different. Everything I ever wanted was this woman. And I did everything I could to convince her that I was worth having, and it was a lot of work. At first, we both agreed that it would never happen, and that's fine. We were friends, but it eventually just came that way.

Wait, wait, wait. Pause right there. I want you to know how you both realized this will never happen. Okay. She was engaged to a man she didn't love and was afraid to break it off. She tried to break it off and had failed. So she was never going to marry him, but she couldn't. She even tried moving away, and he insisted on moving with her.

It was real screwed up, and because of that situation, neither of us wanted to make a move. Nobody wanted to hurt this guy, you know, and so I'm like, look, if you ever clear up your business, give me a call, and we'll talk, okay? But we still talked as friends for a while, and eventually one day, she just calls me up and she's just like, hey, look, I had a big fight and I think he's finally realized how it is. And I think we're going to make some changes. I'm like, well, you call me

in a couple of weeks when that happens. And she does. And then I'm like, well, why don't we wait a couple of months and then maybe you can come see me and we'll see what happens. And then I'm like, well, why don't we wait a couple of months, and then maybe you can come see me, and we'll see what happens. And she's like, all right. Well, then she bought a plane ticket that night for two months away, and then she came to visit. And, I mean, it was just meant to be, man. I mean, it really was. We fought it that whole time.

You were the long con. Holy smokes. How long did it take for you to date her before or since you met her about seven months give or take okay oh you dirty dog yeah but i mean like i knew i wanted to i knew that i wanted to be with her and but we just knew it was not fair to the person she was with it was not fair to her so i just shut it down and she shut it down every step of the way just every time we talk about it we're like nope not a chance not a chance not a chance but it just had to happen you know i just thought it's honorable that you gave a fuck about how other people in her life felt about it that's never even crossed

my mind as a thing to think about well he he did not think of it that way and i would imagine if i asked him today he still would not see it that way because i mean he got really hurt in the end and it did not matter how much we tried. But it wasn't for necessarily even for him that I was doing it. It was for me. I needed to be the good guy. I had been cheated on. She had been cheated on. Neither of us wanted to do that to anybody else. We did it for us. I mean, at the end of the day, there is no such thing as a truly altruistic act. Well, anyway, we looked at, I would say, two dozen houses and each one had its pros and cons. Each one had, you know,

we've got to work on this. We'll have to fix this. We'll have to rebuild that. We'll have to do this. This isn't right. I don't like this yard. I don't like this, whatever across three different towns.

And then one night I get an email from Trulia, uh, or one of those. And I look at that house and I felt the exact same way about this house as I felt about the time I saw her. I said, that's the and I felt the exact same way about this house as I felt about the time I saw her. I said, that's the house I'm moving into. And I brought my wife here two days later after it went on the market, and we walked into it. And she's like, oh, my God, this is perfection.

It's everything we wanted. It's perfect the way it is. And now we're in it. That's two things I knew I wanted to get into. That's awesome, man. I'm really happy for you. You got a new awesome place. Now just do some more magic videos, please.

I will, man. I will. Do strategy videos, too. I want to hear some strategy, not just open. I'll tell you, I keep thinking Twitch has been my outlet for gaming for a while. Can I say something? Yeah, go ahead. Hutch sometimes does chess videos. I don't play chess, but I find them fascinating.

That's what people say about my unboxings all the time. They love how excited I get about pulling certain cards or how disappointed I am about other cards. I don't know why that card's good or bad, but I just like to watch Boogie eat magic cards and get angry about them. Yeah, it's funny and card's good or bad but i just like to watch boogie eat magic cards and get angry about them and yeah it's it's funny and it's good and woody to your point like hutch is into magic too like four or five years ago he and i and i think i thought kyle was in on it i guess not but a few

people used to play magic on i guess like 20 2011 or 2012 maybe it was three years ago three or four years ago but he would play too and he was really into that strategy game. It's a fun game. You guys will like it. If you're listening to this, try it out. You'll like it. I'll also tell you, if you played it in high school or you played it as a teenager or whatever, the game has changed a considerable amount for

the better. And right now I would tell you that we're in a Magic the Gathering renaissance that, because I've seen some of the new product info coming up, it's going to extend well into the next seven years. I'm telling you, now is one of the best times to have ever played Magic. Whether you're looking at Modern Masters, refilling, whether it's the Modern format existing,

whether it's not the availability of Legacy cards at an all-time peak expense, but at the same time um nobody's playing legacy because people are moving on to modern people are moving on to standard people are playing tiny masters and edh and there's casual decks and there's kitchen table there's all kinds of different ways to play and you can build your own cube and you can do that and the new sets are incredible and the standard that we're playing right now is being regaled by the uh pros who play this game as the best standard in existence that since standard existed like this is the best time to have ever played magic when it comes to affordability when it

comes to accessibility when it comes to variety of decks my god i love indeed it is you guys got to say you'll like it kyle will like it more than anyone i anticipate very competitive with it the bondage toys that kyle brought over the oh yeah toys you see right where woody's mind goes every time so that's what i was hoping you bitch you're so fucking sexy carry on never mind so get that shirt off and wrap that rope around you yes would you would you yeah one of our Patreon members who signed up, he comes and does the

monthly hangout with us. I think it's like $50 to do that. He comes and hangs out with us. I gave him my P.O. Box number the other day during the last hangout and he said he was going to send me some junk. I don't know. He said something about a weapon. But I opened it recently and I found this among other things.

He called this a monkey face. That is a monkey... Oh, I was going to call it a monkey ball, but I think you were right. At the bottom is a one inch ball bearing, so it's very heavy. And it's all been wrapped in what's this cord called? Paracord. Paracord. Ass cord.

So... Wait. Ass cord? Oh, I thought that was like an anal bead he had on the end You've got a big ol' butt Oh yeah And just for me, he included he put a rape whistle on this end

So if I get in trouble Don't ever do that again He also Nice That's an old man whistle I've never heard one Don't ever do that again. He also sent me these... Nice. That's an old man whistle. I've never heard one. He also sent all these paracord bracelets, which I appreciate.

I wish I had his letter he wrote me so I could plug his company. I'll do that some other time. But yeah, he sent me all these paracord bracelets. I already gave somebody else one of them. Next survival trip. Yeah, next survival trip, right? So if you guys would like to send me some weird stuff to my P.O. Box,

I promise, the only thing I promise is that I'll show it on the show. Don't tempt me. Yeah, so my P.O. Box is... Let me, I think it might be easy just to like show you here. Yeah, no, that's ridiculous. So P.O. Box 102 in Carnesville, Georgia. That's C-A-R-N-E-S-V-I-L-L-E, Carnesville. The zip code is 30521.

So yeah, send me some fun stuff. The ladies at the post office know who I am, so if you freak them out, it'd be even funnier. If you want to send something fun to Boogie, Boogie, what's your address? What is my P.O. box? Oh, you have a P.O. box? Of course I was going to fuck everything up for you. You're trying.

Hold on. I want everyone who can find one to send a dead squirrel to Kyle. Please, please, just please. If just one gets there, if you can just package one dead squirrel to kyle someone sent a 12 inch massive dildo to our po box they're like a comedy massive to you yeah well i mean this i mean this thing was like i mean it was this big around i mean i don't

see how that could be inserted into pretty. Sounds like a starter kit. Oh, wow. That's the weirdest thing we ever got. I can't. Someone also sent a box of human shit or animal shit to our appeal box once. It was animal shit. Yeah, it was probably animal shit. I don't know for sure. I guarantee it. It looked like animal shit. It had grass in it. Otherwise, I don't know what the fuck they're reading. I didn't open it.

It was enough to realize it was shit. I'm like, alright, we'll throw that away. You didn't poke around to see? Yeah, there might have been Heisenberg blue meth in the bottom of it. I don't know what they're trying to send. You ever get a cat's head in a box? No. Every other day.

I sent one to Obama. That's a mistake. Are you an Obama hater? Saying that or sending it? No, I like Obama. I think you have to. No, I love Obama. Everyone you an Obama hater? saying that or sending it? you're from Arkansas, I think you have to everyone's an Obama hater we're still in northwest Arkansas it's very liberal here, it's not shitty at all

it's real great yeah, northwest Arkansas the beacon of liberalism in the north south didn't we burn a homosexual last year? I'm pretty sure we did not in northwest Arkansas, though. I mean, northwest Arkansas is very progressive.

We've got a couple gay bars right on down Dixon Street in Fayetteville. We've got Eureka Springs, you know, to the east of me here. Do what? The gay bar with the arcade machine in the back? That was an easy mark. Nice. Yeah, Kyle. Well done.

Kentucky does get a bad rap for most of that stuff. Kentucky earned their bad rap. People just assume Kentucky is Hicksville. I joke every time someone brings up Kentucky about how we were driving through Kentucky and all the power poles were leaning in toward the road from the tension of the wire. And my cousin was like, Jesus Christ, look at those power poles. And I was like, don't be too hard on them scott they only got electricity a couple years ago you can't so down up there

i have some ama questions would you guys like to go through those we could do that i'm gonna i'll be right back i'm gonna get water okay perfect maybe a lamp. We'll see. Ooh. My grandfather, apparently, on my dad's side, lived in Hazard, Kentucky. Oh, that's cool. I've been there. That's where my whole family was from, that part of the country. And, you know, when he was very young, they put the very first stoplight into Hazard, Kentucky. And he ran it because he didn't believe in stoplights. Didn't like them. So he ran it

and he got a ticket. So after getting a ticket, he went back town and shot it several times with a shotgun. So the city replaced it without ever ticketing him or punishing him or anything. Shot the light out.

Yeah, three times with the shotgun. I don know when this would have been 1950 something all right um so then they re they put it back in two weeks later they put a new one in and he went downtown and shot it three times and then left and they never put it back and to this day as far as i know i mean they probably have but as far as i know that as the legend has it to this day they've never put a street light i stopped red light nazar i stopped there and ate some barbecue one time about two years ago i can't speak as to the uh the presence of any stoplights but that's a great that's a good story that's pretty funny that's the only thing i know about kentucky except that's where you guys ever watch a show justified yeah oh my god did the season finale for that

was a serious finale that much oh my god watch that entire run but the last season was orgasmic if you like if you like that southern culture that kentucky hillbilly shit like i grew up in which of course i obviously love because i mean it feels like home um they i've never seen a more authentic show the houses they go to the the city the cities they show the downtown areas the way people talk the way people act the way the drug addicts look the way the poverty stricken people look like that show may as well just been a fucking documentary as far as i could tell it was incredible i've never seen anything like it you don't really have an accent coming from kentucky well no i'm from actually from Virginia. I grew up... My parents moved out of there

to Virginia, and they thought they'd made it because they moved to the western part of Virginia, not West Virginia. But the southwestern part near Wise County, St. Paul, Virginia, that's where I grew up. I've been to West Virginia, like up in the hills. West Virginia is a lunatic town. Dude, alright, so

I wanted to shoot this 20mm rifle, and the guy who builds them, the only guy who builds them in the world, his factory just had burned down through this act of arson. It was kind of a ridiculous thing. And so he didn't even have one. And he's like, well, I could send you to one of my customers who has one. So this guy lived in fucking West Virginia up on a mountain. Real crazy, bobbly, swagger type guy.

So we were in West Virginia and we stopped at this little roadside steakhouse place and then we went to the Walmart that was next door to it. We must have seen 60, 70 women in this town. Not one of them was better than a three. They were all, every woman in this

community and the men too. My friends kept going on about the women and I was just like, guys, look at the dudes here. Look at the the other guys here they're all snaggletooth and like like like disproportionately shaped faces where was this west virginia yeah this is i mean you act like it's a bad thing but it seems like there was a 10 there you weren't you would be a 10 there you absolutely would be but but you're swimming in a sea of threes. Our waitress seemed to be the most attractive woman in that town. I don't know.

As soon as she came over, she started talking about her kids, and she couldn't have been more than 19. See, and that's one thing, because Kyle does an excellent job of establishing attractiveness based on the area you're in. Because if you're in Boston or a major city... You know what you call a hot stick in Boston? A tourist. A tourist.

Oh, you silly kid. Anyway, in Boston, you were not going for anyone less than a 7.5. You weren't going for anyone less than that. When we were in Joliet the first time and we were at Buffalo Wild Wings and you saw that one waitress that was like a 6.7 at best. You globbed onto her and realized

it and tried to figure it out, get her to come back to the hotel and everything because you knew that was the best you can get in Joliet. Kyle does have some sort of weird intrinsic ability for this to establish the mean in a given city and then work off of that. I will be honest with you. A Southwest Virginia 10 is a California 2, easily.

I mean, they're not the girls I grew up with. God love you. If you're watching this, I'm so sorry. And consider the source. I look like a bag of trash, okay? But, I mean, the girls there were not pretty and it's so sad like in high school I was kind of like well that's the hot girl I think I'll just stay a virgin until I went to like Upward Bound and then had the best

to choose from and then finally met a girl in an Upward Bound that I was actually attracted to I'm remembering that night at Buffalo Wild Wings. Do you remember who was cock-blocking me? I do. Was it the one that used me blade there? Nope. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, it was White Boy. Nope. Who was it?

Aviator was cock-blocking him. Aviator's married, and he's just flirting with this girl for fun, I guess. Just messing around. And I'm just like, was talking to the waitress aviator i think he wanted to be cool you know if you look back at all his actions a lot of it was sort of based around impressing us and trying to be cool i really wanted to fuck that waitress you did and it didn't work out but you did invite her awkwardly back to our apartment you didn't invite her awkwardly but it was awkward because we hadn't gotten our food yet and then i talked to you about being like kyle if she takes that the wrong way my fucking mango habanero boneless

wings aren't going to come out the right way so let's hold off your horniness till we get our food i just didn't think she would poison us all, right? It was a big group order, and I knew I had to work fast. And then like three seconds after that, you ate one of the spicy wings and then were completely incapacitated. Couldn't even talk to her the rest of the time. Yeah, I didn't want to fuck anybody.

I didn't want to eat any more chicken. There were like 12 or 15 of us around this table. I still remember that. And so instead of everyone being like yeah i'll get like eight wings and an order of fries we were we just kind of ordered for the table so we ordered maybe 10 baskets of hot wings like eight or ten in each basket and a variety of flavors and i was so hungry i hadn't eaten all day and i think we were playing paintball that day maybe and the basket came to me. It was the first one. I just took my fork

and stabbed a boneless hot wing, ate it, and then stabbed another one and started eating that. It was only at a point I was halfway done with the second one that I realized I grabbed, I don't know, the third hottest wing. Mango habanero. You grabbed it because

I gave it to you because you said you wanted to try it. No one just handed it to you. I said do you want to try mango habanero? And you said yes. That's not how I remember. So I wasn't tricking you. Are you calling him a liar too tonight? Huh? Huh? You're not a liar. I wouldn't say

that. However, your account of what happened during that game, I'm afraid, is going to differ quite a bit from my personal account and Chiz's account due to your own frustrations alone. I could tell that you were really unhappy while we were playing that game. Let's get Chiz on this call.

Continue with your B-dub story. If I rate Chiz, I'll lose all the screen grabs. I don't do well with top-tier spicy stuff like jalapenos and stuff like that. You dice them up and put them on my burger. That's cool. I don't know. I like the fire sauce at Taco Bell,

but nothing extreme like in the real-world hot, hot stuff like ghost pepper. You're not eating a ghost pepper anytime soon? Fuck all that. No, that's silly. Like it hurts. It feels like it's dissolving the skin. Yeah, but it gets too hot.

It's not tasty anymore. It's not fun. It's just bad. Like some super hot wings. Like I can't even taste it. It's just like I feel like you just put some chemical in my mouth that's hurting me now. My tastes have actually changed dramatically in the past couple years. They changed really big at 30 and then again at 40 which is i guess i'm reading that that's a

common thing um but i can finally stomach hot sauces now and i can't taste peanut butter which used to be my favorite flavor but like i'll taste like the best peanut butter and it still just tastes like the worst peanut butter i ever had. Do you prefer sweets or salty things? I like everything. Sweet, salty, fatty. I don't give a shit. Look at me, man. I'm a fucking shovelhead. But I was not able to handle spicy the longest time.

And the other day, my roommate... Does he look discerning to you, Kyle? I actually... Spicy is the only flavor that's worth a shit. Spicy is awesome. If you don't like spicy, you're a piece of shit. I'm on that road finally i found these like sriracha wings at uh sam's club spicy european shit and on keto i'll eat a good amount

of wings each week you know and uh my god they're so good but i remember trying sriracha like 10 years ago and going oh my god this is like hell to me this is the worst now i could just squirt sriracha in my mouth and just like yo i don't like that that might be you want to check that out you want to be talking about that if you're just squirting sriracha in your mouth like i'll put like a teaspoon of it maybe like in a big bowl of chili and that's plenty like that stuff's pretty potent well it's good stuff i mean i'm i'm really starting to get in and get into the spice, man. Finally, I'm turning into a real man.

Spicy food is the shit. It makes everything better. Don't you guys like that feeling where your whole mouth is kind of burning a little bit and it's kind of painful, but it's also enjoyable? You don't like that? I like the wasabi burn. Your eyes are watering, your sinus is cleared.

What about wasabi? Are you guys into that at all? I love wasabi. I sl eyes are watering. Your sinus is cleared. What about wasabi? Are you guys into that at all? I love wasabi. I slather that shit on my sushi. On my sashimi. I only get the raw fish. Not that bullshit sticky rice they try and pawn off as edible. Get that out of my face. With the nigiri, they put the raw

fish on top of a little bed of rice. That's pretty cool. DDP had is moving over to like a lot of organic stuff and we still do that to this day so we we do shop a bit of walmart uh to get the various things but for the most part a lot of our meals come from um fresh market i think is what it's called it's one of the whole foods deviations or whatever um but they do sushi there and they have some spicier blends, and my God. It's like whatever that hot pink sauce is they put on it and the hot red and then the wasabi on top of it, it's like an orgasm.

And I can't have it because I'm doing low-carb now, but I was having it like twice a week. It's like one of the healthiest foods you could have. Just do it without the rice. Right, right. Do it without the rice. Get rid of the rice. Just the meat.

I can't get it pre-made, yeah. But, man, I've got to say, once we started eating organic and once we started, like, I know that's all bullshit, like the science behind it. And they tell me it's all bullshit. But once I started cutting out wheat and dairy for the most part and then I started focusing on eating organic meats, man, my body changed for the better in ways I can't express. Like, DDP was absolutely right about that i hate to admit it um but it's it's made a huge difference in in feeling physical and i'll tell you what another thing that i think you'll find amusing when we moved to this house going to the toilet in this house was a further walk than i was making most days really when i was

like yeah like you know when i first moved into that other place and before i started doing ddp and now you know i mean obviously i'm a pre-diabetic i'm actually in the diabetic range now so um i have to go to the bathroom like eight ten times a day you know have you tasted your pee uh no i hear it's supposed to be delicious though do you want to taste it kyle you should taste it right now and let us know if it's sweet yeah i got a jar around here somewhere no don't get it not a chance no um but uh but now i'm walking i'm actually walking some walking and it still hurts like hell but i mean you get i mean pain you get used to pain you guys know that if anybody knows that you get used to hurting i don't i don't like if i if anything on me is hurting like i'm such a bitch about it

like i demand some sort of medical attention right then and there like like like the the smallest of cut are you kidding and no no kyle is not one to just put a band-aid on a severe cut if he goes to like a weekend knitting convention he's gonna come out with five band-aids on all of his fingers when i he throws a band-aid on there immediately when i was 30 i got uh an infection in my left leg the lymphedema and uh cellulitis and i get one every about five years i'm due for a big one now which um but uh it killed all of the skin on the left leg. And so I didn't know that was what happened because I was asleep for three days. All your skin died?

And all my skin died while I was asleep for three days. That's the kind of shit that just doesn't happen to me, man. Holy shit. No, this is lymphedema sucks. Sleeping for three days doesn't happen. No, I didn't choose for it to happen. I just went unconscious and then almost died. And fortunately, my friends drug me into the emergency room, and they started pumping me full of antibiotics. I didn't choose for it to happen. I just went unconscious and then almost died. And fortunately, my friends drug me into the emergency room, and they started pumping me full of antibiotics,

threw a PICC line directly into my heart to keep me alive because I got septic. And about 24 hours later, I'm finally conscious again. And they're like, all right, Steve, here's the thing. You're too heavy for us to do an actual surgery but we still need to debris i think that's what they call debris debris that leg so but this is very graphic by the way so warning of your listeners this is gonna be company this have a bite and uh so i'm like i'm like okay uh so what do we do and they're like well we're going to send our nurses in here and they are going to remove the dead tissue um and you're just going to have to be conscious during it and i'm like okay well can

we get some painkillers and like well you're on the maximum amount of painkillers we can really safely give you with your addiction issues and other things i've never like been in rehab or anything but they know obviously i like food a lot so i don't want to give me the good stuff you know and i don't want them i don't want want to give me the good stuff and I don't want them to give me the good stuff either because last thing I need is a fucking morphine addiction on top of a fucking food addiction trust me you wanted that morphine

morphine addictions are glorious morphine is top notch this is where our paths would have diverged I don't get a morphine town. I'm saving it for the real stuff. That was my thought at the time.

If I had known, if I had it to do over, I would have let them shoot it in my fucking eyeballs if they had to, okay? So the nurses come in, and they take off the wrap, and they're looking at the leg, and they're like, well, this is much worse than the doctor considered. And I'm like, okay, well, what do we do? And they're like, well, I guess we do. Let's call the doctor. And they call the doctor and they talk for a few minutes. I'm like, all right, we're going to go for it. Well, 90% of the skin from my knee to my ankle was gone. And all that was left was the porous material underneath. And they took gauze.

This is so, God, this is amazing. They took gauze. Oh, this sounds awful. And they scraped it across the skin like it was nacho cheese, and like they had a nacho in their hand, they're just scooping it off like bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, like no. They didn't, luckily, they didn't have to use like a Dremel or anything like that. They just scooped it all off.

Well, they've used one of those on me before, right, for a different purpose altogether, but they just removed all the skin. And it was as the nerves that are embedded into that porous material saw naked air for the first time. It was the most glorious level of pain that I have ever experienced. And I screamed. I remember screaming at the top of my lungs. And then I remember crying while screaming. And then I remember cursing God for existing and allowing me to exist.

I do think I passed out for a short period of time. But I was conscious through most of it. At some point, I had enough sense to get the digital camera that I had brought. I asked my friend to bring so that I could photograph this. I asked for that. And I got a couple to bring so that I could photograph this I asked for that and I got a couple photos which I've lost over the years oh no I wanted to see that and there was this card someone had gotten me uh that when you open it up it was one of those musical ones and you open it up it plays a song and it was a celebrate good times I don't know why that card was in the in why that card was okay while i was

sick i don't know i think it was like cheer up you know good times are ahead and then you open up the nurse at one point as i'm screaming at the top of my lungs backs into the bathroom door this card is taped and the card opens up enough to make the song. And I'm just like crying. And there's like blood and lymph just pouring out of me. And I've never experienced pain like that in my life. Well, pain is relative. This is fascinating to learn. The most pain that you've ever been in is a 10 for you. And so now my new 10 is here. Like I know what real pain is, right? And so now that I'm dealing with this back pain, which I think would debilitate most people, in the morning I still get out of bed.

Sometimes I need my wife's help. I get into the living room and I cry for 20, 30 minutes, sometimes break a few things. Sometimes I throw a few things. But I know that that's only about an 8. I know what my 10 is. And since this is at an eight, I'm okay. I'm going to be all right. Not a big deal.

And so when it comes to the lymphedema, you know, you're just like, oh, this is like a three. Now, that used to be my 10. Now it's three.

Whatever. This sounds horrible. It sounds horrific. Well, that whole experience seems terrible. It was, I mean, you know,

I mean, we all have our shit. You know, every one of us is going to end up in a deathbed. Everyone's going to bury somebody we love. We're all going to have our fucking hearts broken. Life is pain. Pain is guaranteed when you're born into this world. Joy is created.

Joy is found. I focus on the joy that I've created. I've focused on the joy that my audience brings me and how much fun I'm having with you guys tonight and stuff like that. So I don't focus on that stuff, but I do think it takes – I think it's interesting to talk about that stuff. I think it's important to talk about that stuff. So the people that are right now at home who aren't in any pain, who haven't had their heart broken, haven't buried anybody they love can go, I'm lucky right now, and I should enjoy the shit out of this. I think that's important.

Yeah, it's true. Wow. I think that's important. You know? Yeah, it's true. I think that's a valuable life lesson. That does sound like one of the most painful experiences ever. It looked like nacho cheese. It was fascinating. It was so fascinating. I don't want to hear that part. They just scooped your skin off.

They scooped it right off, right? Like if they had scooped it off and just put it in their mouth, it would have just looked like they were eating nacho cheese. It was yellow. It was just sloughing off. It was sloughing off. It just looked like they were eating nacho cheese. It was yellow. It was just sloughing off. It was sloughing off. It was just completely dead, like, off a corpse. It was fascinating.

Dude, morphine in the future. Yes, morphine. Right now. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You wouldn't have even remembered that. Like, I had, like, second and third degree burns on the back of my hand. Yeah.

Like, from here down, pretty much. The fingers, the knucklesuckles they're big black blisters uh and they gave me a little morphine uh maybe maybe a lot and you know they scrubbed all of that off and and then they put this like artificial skin glove on top of it and there's no scarring it was pretty cool for i thought but but i don't remember any of that shit i remember like the sensation of rubbing uh and i remember like visuals of the medical instruments and stuff, but that's it. Yeah, I should have done that.

Here's another downside to being big. I had to get a colonoscopy at 35. I'm doing another one, but I just don't want to do it. I'm supposed to get another one at 40, I guess. How old are you supposed to be when you do that? You're supposed to get your first at 40. Most insurance companies will tell you 45, but it really should be 40. And if you have the option, like I had an optional reason to do it at 35,

we went in at 35, and I think it was better that we did it. Okay, this is something I want to hear. Woody and Boogie, I want to hear your first colonoscopy story, starting with Boogie because he was already on a roll there. Okay, so I did not know like the entire concept that you had to clear your entire intestines out and they give you a medicine that will help you do that and they basically tell you to set aside a two-hour block to drink the medicine and then sit on the toilet and change shit diarrhea which is what happens and eventually

just turns to pure water like it's one of the most nauseatingly awful experiences i don't think it was pure water like i wouldn't call it my last my last couple of dukes my last couple of of squirts was just pure water and i was just amazed it was clear as a bell yeah you were squirting aquafina near the end right um and so i get into the place the next day and they're like all right Mr. Williams we normally give people twilight drugs for this and we are going to give you some but again you're very heavy and because you're so heavy the chances of you having a heart attack or choking on your own body is entirely possible we know you have sleep apnea that's in your medical chart so we're not going to give you a fraction of what we would give a normal size

person I'm like really that's weird because there's a So we're not going to give you a fraction of what we would give a normal-sized person. I'm like, really? That's weird. Because there's a chance you're going to wake up during the procedure, but you'll probably be okay. Well, I woke up three minutes into it. And fortunately, by then, the camera's already up my ass. And so he's got me laying on my left side. And the television that it's all going to is on the left side.

So I'm staring at the thing, right? And he says to the intern or the nurse he has and he goes this area looks normal and i guess she's supposed to write that down i start answering the guy i'm like good and so i got to see my entire inside of my own a is including the hemorrhoids that i had at the time on the inside of that and i got to see all the way up to the uh um i guess where chambers off to the next time because apparently they don't go past that chamber or at least in my colonoscopy but the best part of that is when i woke up i had a fart nurse there and i don't know i did not know that there was such a thing as a fart nurse but my nurse comes in and i'm like oh

hi what can i do for you and she's like well i'm here to make sure you fart and I'm like oh she's like yeah you gotta get that air out of you and you're uh you know if you don't you could rupture and we can't leave you here until you fart an adequate amount of times and I'm like okay so what life choices led you to this it's like just because I'm still a little still a little out of it you know and I'm like that's the worst thing I've ever fucking said to another human being and she goes oh a lot of bad know? And I'm like, that's the worst thing I've ever fucking said to another human being. And she goes, oh, a lot of bad ones, I guess. And I'm like, because you are listening to a 500-pound man fart. That's your job.

Like, that is a cool job. Don't get me wrong if you're into it, but I would imagine that's not your thing, isn't it? And she goes, no, it is definitely not, sir. I'm like, all right. So you're basically, like, slowly talking to this person through morphine. Like, how did you get to this point? You listen to me fart a bunch. Again, they didn't get any of the good stuff. I didn't get any of the good stuff.

So I'm like, I walked out of there, you know, like 20 minutes later. Like, have I farted enough? She's like, good job. You farted plenty. I had basically the same experience. I think they give you the liquid the night before and it's awful. It makes makes you poo and I'm like I get to clear it out whatever we'll try it and it was just so bad you're constantly pooping and between poops they have you Vaseline your rectum to like deal with all of the wiping and

pooping and stuff that's going on and it's the yuckiest possible experience and I don't want to colonoscopy, right? Boogie, on the other hand, is like, I found an excuse to get some extra colonoscopies in there. I was like, no fucking way. I don't want to do it. Jackie's like, you have to. Apparently my mom had polyps or something,

which I don't even know what a polyp is. But apparently it puts me at risk for like fucking anal death or something. So now I have to get this colonoscopy polyp is but apparently it puts me at risk for like fucking anal death or something so i didn't like it so now like i i have to get this colonoscopy because my wife is insisting and and it's fucking awful so i take the liquid and i poo and i do all that until eventually my butt hurts but like like boogie says it gets to be like pure water and such and i go in there the next day they lay me on my side and uh then what seems like one second later, I wake up in bed somewhat confused and it's over. Feeling somewhat violated and different.

Yeah, really. And there is a nurse there making sure that I fart. Now, I don't really fart in front of people. Like, I think it kind of grew out of that and whatever. Like I think I'm, it's kind of grew out of that and whatever. And now I like literally have to like, I'm on stage, like trying to fart enough to convince this woman that I can go home. And, uh, and my wife, I don't even fart in front of my wife. And she's there like holding my hand as I come out of this. And it's like, Oh fuck.

You know, it's a fart show because, Oh, when they do it, they fill your, I guess, through your butt, like up with air. That way the camera has like room to sort of see. Otherwise, it'd just be, I guess, intestine against lens and you wouldn't catch it. So they inflate your intestines and then you need to deflate in the recovery room. It sucks. So your wife was holding your hand while you were just hard, viciously. Marriage. That's true love.

But they sent me home with a bunch of pictures of my inner butthole, right? Like of my intestines and stuff. So I did a dual con with Jackie where every so often we'd show, we'd give people, Jackie's like, hit him with a picture.

And then we'd show him my intestine just as a way to i don't know be a smart ass toward my subs so yeah we made a video i saw that video you know the one right oh yeah it was kind of a funny video i think it was on nuketown uh no i think it was on um what's the black ops what what modern warfare 3 the one that that had village and tents and stuff next to the center building. B-Dom was right on a street. Oh, yeah. Shit.

How old were you when you got your colonoscopy, by the way? Probably 40. Yeah. The reason I got mine is because I was having violent diarrhea. And I was going to the bathroom like four or five times a day and that led to really bad hemorrhoids and I'd had an anal fissure when I was 20 and I did not want to run the risk of getting another one of those because fuck that super bad um so I went to the doctor and he's like well it's time to do a colonoscopy it's five years earlier than you

need to do it but honestly I mean this be cancer. There's blood in your stool. So we get the colonoscopy done and the guy's going through the checklist. He's like, you're perfectly healthy besides those hemorrhoids. And I don't know why you have those hemorrhoids. Even as a big guy, you shouldn't have hemorrhoids like that. It's very irritated back there. I'll give you some medicine or whatever. And he's like, but I don't know what's causing it.

And he's looking through my medical chart and he goes, wait a second. Are you on metformin? And I'm like, yes. And he goes, do you know what the number one side effect of metformin is? And I said, no. And he goes, violent diarrhea. And I'm like, oh. And he goes, why did your doctor not figure this out? And I'm like, because he's an idiot, I guess. And then I went to a different doctor from then on out because that doctor had prescribed metformin. And the most common side effect is to be allergic to it and then just shit yourself all the time and that's what was happening to me

well that sounds terrible but aren't it is an anal fissure just basically your butthole ripping a little bit yeah it's a hole it's a hole in the anus and uh it's real unhappy it's real unpleasant yeah didn't wings have anal fissures he did he did several episodes where we went over that it'll happen to big guys this is one of the many this is why healthy at any size is crazy because i think you're ripping your asshole open guess what it's time to stop eating i think the enormous poops have something to do with it too because I know if I'm eating right, then my morning poop is pretty moderate. It's pretty much over and out. It's not a big deal.

But if I've spent the entire night having one of my extravaganzas, if it's a Taco Bell extravaganza or a potato fiesta or what have you. Or a booze extravaganza. It all comes out differently. Yeah, it could be a real masker in there. I've actually read recently in the last year that with a lifetime of overeating, the digestive system will grow to adapt to it.

So you'll have a longer, smaller intestine and a longer, larger intestine, meaning you will digest more of the food, getting more calories out of the same amount of food somebody else will because you digest it to a further degree. So 2,000 calories of food for a heavy person who's been historically doing that for 40 years might actually be closer to 2,200 or 2,100 calories for that person because their digestive system is more efficient.

But because of that, my poops aren't that big, I think. I think that's why my poops aren't that big. But that changes if you get one of those surgeries, right? Like if you get the bypass or you get the stomach stapling. Well, the most common one they're doing now is the safest is the gastric sleeve. It's the least invasive. It's very common. It doesn't have as high of a success rate as bariatric surgery.

So some people that get the sleeve will eventually need bariatric surgery, depending on what their mental issues are like and what's leading to their obesity and what's leading to them making those decisions, obviously. Then you've got, I forget exactly what it's called. I like to call it Roshembo, but that's not it. But it's the bypass surgery where they remove a large portion of the stomach and then bypass that. And also some of the intestines go with that too.

And then that will make up for that issue a little bit. Okay. I have some AMA questions here. But first, I want to get a word out to all of our listeners about Crunchyroll. Crunchyroll is the most amazing anime service to ever grace the internet. When you go to Crunchyroll.com, you're opening up a world of anime like you just can't believe. It's 1080p quality, no ads, and for 30 days of free premium access, all you have to do is go to Crunchyroll.com forward slash pka.

It takes about two minutes to sign up, and you're getting access to their huge library, including these three that they wanted us to mention. One Piece, Punchline, and JoJo's Bizarre Adventures. So, if you want access to all this, go to crunchyroll.com slash pka, sign up for premium and get access to that huge collection of anime free for 30 days with zero

ads. Hey, that One Piece, man, I gotta tell you something. I'm so surprised it got on there. That's long. There's like, what, 500 episodes or something? Like, that's the one about the boat right is that i have no fucking clue oh well my roommate was obsessed thanks they've got that like i'm not gonna lie like like you like if you had been like that's a good one in it kyle i've been like ah fantastic the animation but when you say it like that that's a good one, isn't it, Kyle? I'd have been like, ah, fantastic, the animation. But when you say it like that, I'm just like, I don't fucking know.

You mean that boat that's kind of white, sits in the water, floats back and forth? Yeah. No, I Googled it, and One Piece is that show that he watched, like, every episode of. And if they've got that entire series on there, that's a hell of a value, man. How much does it cost to get a month? I mean, $6.95. $6.95? Jesus Christ, that's cheaper on there. That's a hell of a value, man. How much does it cost to get a month? It's $6.95. $6.95? Jesus Christ, that's cheaper than Netflix.

It is cheaper than Netflix. And they've got the entire run. I'm not going to get it. They've got the entire run of One Piece on there. I've always wanted to watch it. My roommate is obsessed with that show. Well, then you better hop on there. Right, I'm going to go to right now.

Bunchyroll.com slash BKA. Number one anime source for Duct Tape Man himself. You heard it here. It's true. Now, do they have both fan subs and dubs there? Do you know that? Oh, they've got everything you could want. It is known.

Okay, good. Okay, so what is... Let's see. I'm going through this AMA here. I sent you guys the questions, too. Yep. Some of these questions are terrible, and some of them are great. I'm going through this AMA here. I sent you guys the questions too. Some of these questions are terrible and some of them are great. As you guys know, when you submit your questions

for the AMA, we don't have to read them because some of them are just bad. Some of them are just bad. Be more creative. I'm just looking through a couple of these. This looks like a decent crop. I don't know. Some of them are repetitive as well. Okay. So recently I read that

Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao are going to make $23,000 per second of their fight. My question for everyone is how long would you take a beating if you got paid $23,000 per second? I would take it as long as I could stand.

As long as I could. No Like, as long as I could. No, no, but the whole thing is that you have to decide beforehand. So if you say 90 seconds, and you get 61 seconds in, and you're like, oh my god, I'm getting the shit kicked out of me, you cut out, and then you don't get any money. You have to take the whole beating. What does the team consist of? of beating the shit out of you faces just getting pummeled by fists i think it's

shins coming right to your thighs just like all those brutalizing hits that you see in mma that's what you have to deal with this isn't a little tit-tat thing this guy says i'm taking the beating from floyd himself all right so i'm gonna take this as how how many seconds will i elect to be in the ring with floyd mayweather and i i think my answer is three minutes because three minutes i think he's gonna knock me out long before that then you won't make it no i won't no you have to make it till the end otherwise you don't get the money that's he's not gonna just keep beating me the ref will stop it we'll just curl into a ball i mean the crowd will eventually just keep going i i don't know this is hard i it's probably better to get beaten by mayweather than pacquiao right yeah because pacquiao is the one who just it's just a

flurry of punches and he you're getting obliterated. He's got that fucking lift that comes from your blind side or something. Whereas Mayweather, like Mayweather's thing is his defense. He's very difficult to hit. People get frustrated because he just sort of goes backwards. And then he's got this stance. Like most people, they kind of keep their arms up like this. They got the big gloves and it protects you from the hits.

He uses his shoulder. And he puts his shoulder up and he stands like like this and it's very difficult to hit him but pacquiao is going to win according to me lozon says i'm wrong but i'm gonna say 30 seconds i can make it 30 seconds realistic just getting the shit kicked out of me for six million dollars that sounds pretty good i've had the shit kicked out of me and i can't do it for very long but i really like money so like i'm running some numbers here 60 times 23 000 is 1.4 million almost i think i could i think 60 seconds if i have to hit it 60 seconds might be the number i mean hell it seems like I could get a knockdown or two, right? I could run for like 20 seconds.

Like just take that down right away. He's going to cut the ring off. $460,000 worth of running, I promise you. I think so. I think he'll cut the ring. He'll give us the barrel rolls. These guys are trained to stop you from running away. Like you go this way, they stand where you want to be, and they just work you into the side, and it's awful.

Yeah, but if you pull an Andy Kaufman and you literally sprint around them, this way they stand where you want to be and they just work you into the side and it's awful yeah but if you pull an andy kaufman and you literally sprint around them like they're not prepared for that they probably don't see that much like close you up box you in but they're not ready for this like no they're not but it's not gonna take long for them to adapt so you've basically got like what i can see as a six to eight second window of running around like a maniac before they're eventually like is this turning into something is this going to be an attack no this guy's just running around as soon as he cocks back the first punch I'm going to spit my mouth guard at him

like that's that's that's round two like that's my second move and I'll take two or three warnings they can deduct all the points they want like i i'd find a way to get rich off of getting my ass the question is would i go in there absolutely i would go in there and i would last as long as i could and i would try and win if that was part of the deal if they're like what do you can't just run and be a bitch and cover up and dive you literally have to go in there and try and beat one of these guys i'd be like all right sign me up i will try oh i wouldn't go in and try and beat them i would go in with a tattoo that said youtube.com slash x capone oh smart my my branding would never be better i know but if hypothetically you had to try to win to get your money i would i would give it a go. I would. I would. Zero percent chance. Right, for sure.

I'm going to turn this into a romantic story. Here's what I would do. I would tell my wife goodbye, and I would get into the ring, and I would stand there and allow him to beat me, arms to my side, until he was forced to beat me to death so that I would leave her with more money that she would ever need. I've been watching Breaking Bad. It's basically what it is. So is that how you see it, Boogie?

You'd be standing there like a pariah. Right, that's what I would want to do. I would want to go in there like a... And then after punch number three, you're just like, oh! Oh! When I was in high school, I got into a fight when I was 12. And was an older kid and i hurt you were in high school at 12 well i mean i was in uh and well i guess i was actually

because we didn't have a middle school okay so what grade are you in eighth grade what how old are you when you're in eight you're like 14 13 or 14 in eighth grade all right so i guess i was 13 because i was in eighth grade so whatever that was uh I guess I was 13 because I was in eighth grade. So whatever that was. But I hit the kid and I hit him pretty damn hard. And I ended up hurting him pretty bad. And then our family ended up getting sued over it and it sucked. So then I swear I never hit another person. And I've managed to maintain that.

But I did get into one more fight. And it was this kid. I failed 10th grade PE because I was embarrassed by my body and I didn't want to dress out. So I just didn't. And I had to take it over my senior year to make it up for it. So I was in 10th grade PE and this one kid is always kind of making fun of me. And I've always been sharp with my tongue. So he would say things like, hey, good job out there today, you fat fuck.

If you could run, we would have won or whatever. And I'd say things like, well, I'm really tuckered out from fucking your mother's asshole all last night. And I've got to tell you something. I've got to pick off all these fucking crabs. And it's just disgusting. I would say things like that to him. That's how you win. One day he just got super mad.

And he threw a punch at me and hit me square in the face. And I was like, dude, you don't want to fuck with me. I really do not want to ever hit anybody back. Please don't. And our coach was nearby. So he came and separated us. Well, that kid was waiting with him and his two older brothers at my car later that day. And they're like, oh, you fuck our mothers. And I'm like, no, it's a joke, man. Because, well, I don't find that kind of joke very funny. And here's what's going to happen.

You're going to let our little brother hit you or we're all going to take you down. I'm like, I'm never going to throw a punch at another person, dude. You can beat me as long as you want. And so he hit me several times in the face until my glasses flew off, broken. And then he hit me several more times. And I thought I could be super tough. Like I did exactly that pariah thing. I'm like, all right, man, just do whatever you got to do. But eventually I'm driving home, right? I want to do that. But no, I mean, want to do that but no i mean it starts hurting man i mean he's like just clawing at my face i must i don't know how many times he hit me must have been eight or nine times and i just started bawling my eyes out i'm like i can't believe you're

fucking doing this you're just gonna beat me no one i won't punch you back and he's just like well hit me back hit me back i'm like i'm not gonna touch you there's no chance this is gonna happen i'm just gonna keep hitting you then he just keeps hitting me and eventually he got bored and so i know i can take a punch i mean he was having back oh i didn't want to hit him back and i felt glad about that i'm proud that i didn't hit him back i'm proud that i'm a pacifist i'm always going to be a pacifist i don't want to hurt other people i didn't hurt the guy i'm so grateful for that i that gives me so much self-confidence in the things that my convictions and the things i believe in you know for the rest of my life but um also i didn't get any trouble this sounds like a terrible day and i personally would have felt awesome if i could have somehow summoned the super

me and beat up all four of them that would be glorious. I got one week of in-school suspension, which is like a vacation for a kid with anxiety issues. Oh, in-school suspension is the shit. Right, he got two weeks of out-of-school suspension. But I knew I had it made. I knew I had it made when my principal brought me my lunch in in-school suspension, and I'm like, can I get an extra milk with this?

I normally get an extra milk. I had in-school suspension. I didn't think it was that good. I hated it. I brought a bunch of Nintendo Power magazines and stuff and I just sat there and read Nintendo Power. I told my librarian to go to hell. That was my mistake.

There was... Oh, Woody, you rapped Scallion. So when you walk librarian to go to hell that was my mistake there was um oh woody you wrapped scallion there was a so when you walk out of the library we had books right and the books had these little like thing like a security system type deal and if you bring the book through it it beeps so what you'd have to do is hand your book to the librarian they'd hand it back and that would like go around the security system well uh the librarian wasn't where she was supposed to be so i just kind of did it by myself like i handed the book to myself and apparently i thought that was a fine solution for everyone like if you're not in place don't worry i got this covered by myself

but uh they wanted me to go back in line and then do it again and hand it to a librarian to accomplish the same thing i told her to go to hell and I got suspension. That seems like a go to hell kind of moment. Yeah, I thought it was. Since you guys are doing adventures like the survival trips and paintball, would you ever think of doing anything sports related? Since Woody and Mirka have backgrounds in hockey, it would make sense to have a round robin hockey tournament with fans. It totally would!

I would do that. I would do that, yes. Let's hold it in Canada where there are hockey assholes that love to hurt people. Let's just go to Winnipeg. Live it up. What could go wrong? What position do you play when you do play hockey?

I would be interested in playing against you i played mostly d either side but um i also played like i was fairly i was competent in every position what i was is i was responsible so if you put me anywhere then i wouldn't make us lose how's your shot hard and flat i mean i bet it sucks right now but you know i had a i had a if you if you were to see me take a slap shot you'd be like it that's a real slap shot do you play with wood sticks or like a warrior something like that i i played with two piece and eventually one piece fiberglass sticks i like them to be really light because when i skate backwards and play on d it pretty much my move is to like

just whack it one-handed at the offensive that comes at me. The lighter the stick, the better I felt like I could get my stick on your puck. Well, that seems like a horrible idea to me. George is playing good D.

I don't play fucking... No, I mean the whole idea of the round. The concept of hockey. I don't play fucking hockey. I don't really care about hockey and that's why it would be funny dude and organizing the whole trip to like play hockey like how many fans are we gonna get to show up to some rink somewhere like like i imagine like canadians all of them will show up and they're gonna play like with gear and shit that's never gonna happen yeah why not we could totally get like a couple.

I would love to get out there on the ice again. Wow. Okay, well, if you're out there and you would like PKA to come play hockey with you and your amateur team, you just need to arrange for your local rink to put together some sort of a PKA day, and we'll make that happen. Taylor, are you playing hockey now?

Right now, I am not. Do you wish you were? Oh, yeah. I wish I were playing more. I really like hockey. I tried to do the splits three days ago just to see if I could get even close. Because I played goalies,

so I used to be able to do the splits upward and downward. Flexibility is a huge part of that. This is a goalie warm-up exercise, the splits? Or are you talking about the butterfly? You know when you're watching hockey and someone comes down on a breakaway and you see the goalie completely split the pads, cover the whole bottom

of the ice. He's doing the splits right there. Not the ballerina turn to the side and split but like the facing splits and i tried to do that again and i it was horrible i wasn't i wasn't even in the vicinity not even close and i was like i need to start doing something again to get back into that shape shoot five hole but yeah exactly shoot five hole on me because i'll pull my groin and be out for the rest of the weekend because i'm so out of shape because he's only splitting like yeah split it sounds like it's something like this and there's a five hole right

there for you yeah yeah so i need to really step that up start stretching again but it was depressing realizing what i could do just like five years ago and what I can't do now. Well, I think it's a stupid fucking idea. I'd much rather do something like paintball. I just want to talk about hockey a second longer. So there was a time where I was, at least in this area, an A-League player. Not a good one, right?

But I was like, I wasn't the worst guy on the team either. You were near the upper echelon. No, no, not in A-League. Our best players in A-League, some of them had, like, some of them had NHL experience. But a fair amount of them had college experience or, like, AHL experience. Like, one guy had played in the AHL, like, the previous year, right? So, like, he was just really good. Me, it was like, all right, do I even belong in this league?

Well, there's four guys on this team worse than me. So I'm like in the one-third percentile. So I'm a bottom four defenseman. Yeah. Yeah. I got this. You know, right? That was like where I peaked.

Or I think that same year I was MVP of my B-League team. So nothing special. Like, you know, I certainly wasn't some division one athlete or anything like that but i was an actual hockey player and over time i just stopped like being effective like i don't know why like i it was like it like fuck it's been games since i scored anything and you like i felt like my d was still solid but i don't know it just like i started to do worse so if i come back i'm playing C league. I'm just going straight to the fucking bottom,

and I might be good there. See, that's a solid thing to do. They have something in high school where you can play varsity, JV, or something called C team. And C team is where, like, really good middle schoolers and really awful high schoolers and really awful high schoolers congregate as a team. At least this is how it is

in the Midwest. Yeah, I hear it too. Yeah, and they allowed me, my junior year of high school, I always wanted to play out. Like, play as a forward instead of a goalie. I was a goalie for varsity and for my real team. And they were like, hey, if you want to play forward on this C team,

you can do it. And I was like, are you serious? So I can hit people, I can skate around and score. And so they let me join the C team. And in my first game, I didn't fully – like, I understand the rules, but I didn't understand the rule of you can't take more than three strides before hitting someone and i also didn't understand boarding which was when you hit somebody like if you hit somebody right up against

the boards it's just a clap and they just hit up against it and bounce off if you hit someone who's this far away from the boards they fall and can break their neck on the boards i didn't fully get that and in my first shift trying to figure out being forward i hit a kid into the glass and he hit the glass so hard he knocked the pain out and the pain fell and they had to have a team of people come back and put the pain in because i hit him so fucking hard and then the next the next play that i got a chance after i exited the penalty box three seconds playing forward already in the box for two minutes got out and then just tripped someone so hard or someone was on a breakaway towards my goalie and I thought it would be a good move to just kind of like slash him like I've seen

people doing games yeah I've seen hockey I'm I played goalie I know how this works I just kind of slash him, and he drops it. And I must have hit him way too hard, because I was using a heavy wooden stick that was old instead of the light graphite sticks, and I broke his ankle. And he fell down screaming. It's just like what the fucking Canadians did to the Russians.

Yes. Yeah, the Flyers. Pretty much. Yeah. I broke his ankle, and he fell down. And then they had to stretch her out. And I just had to stand there. I had to stand there.

Taylor the Slayer. I had to stand there in shame. Like ill-fitting pads that were just donated to me. Now, let me ask you, when you do that. It's like a Frankenstein of of hockey wearing ill-fitting pads watching this kid get carried off. This is the kid you crippled. I'm curious. Like, he was from another school,

I guess? Like he was a rival? Yes. On the C-team! Do you recall if he... I just ruined his year! Do you remember if he was a middle schooler who was great and was like a shining star who was going to go NHL at like 17? Or if he was like some senior who was just crappy? I don't remember.

It wasn't a senior who was crappy, but I remember that at that age, being a junior in high school, I was already like the size I am now. So there's like a little over six-foot guy barre down like you should have been able to catch him at that size what a fucking monster I didn't realize I was doing but I tried so someone bigger than me was playing like a bully in my thing and at the time i was doing woodworking like every day and there was this guy eric stanford eric stanford i don't know but he was a former pro player and he gave me like a fucking like 14 bullet point list of

dirty moves to do when you like it like if you can't beat a player straight up this is how you handle the situation and it was like like you know i don't know like dump the puck incredibly useful yeah it was it was really like effective stuff like you dump the puck on the boards behind your own net right as the guy comes pull his feet out and then he says it's like boarding but he torpedoes himself it's just tripping it's not as big a deal um there's all sorts of like temporarily give the puck and then play his body or you know and hand it to him and make him vulnerable type stuff um all sorts of like you know to pull your pull his feet out um you know the the benches where the glass ends he's like it doesn't take much of a bump at all if he's

skating past the glass where the where the glass starts he's like just it doesn't take much of a bump at all. If he's skating past the glass where the glass starts, he's like, just bump him into the glass where it starts. It's so solid. They'll knock themselves out. He gave me a whole list of dirty tricks to do that was amazingly effective. Oh, they're so effective. That's actually, going back to my story,

that's only one of the two times I've broken someone's ankle when they were playing and the other one when i was i was a goalie and if you're like kyle won't understand because he never played hockey but when you're a goalie like you're basically like a chick in a bar if anyone fucks with you at all there's a bunch of people to come be like what are you fucking with him for what are you fucking with him for and just like immediately defend you in any situation but they also pull shit where they try and splinter you and they try and just jab at you for no reason what's splintering you splintering is uh the area between i'm trying to describe it correctly the where your knee bends

and the the mid part of your thigh where your hockey pants go. A lot of goalies don't wear protection there. They just have their skin. And so if you cover a puck, you're icing the puck to, you know, end play, they will come in and under the guise of trying to get the puck out,

they will stick their stick underneath where your leg is and continually pull out really quickly giving you fiberglass splinters and wood splinters depending on the sticks right under your leg that kind of play it's awful no i wouldn't put up with that shit like that's the kind of shit where like i would hang on to the puck so the game couldn't continue it doesn't matter you're trying to hold on to the puck and that's when they're doing it. While the rest are trying to spread everybody else out. Yeah, this isn't baseball. People don't give a shit. It would all stop,

and they would want their puck back so the game could continue. And that's when me and this guy would have to face off. There would be no splintering. I would have to leave the game to get my band-aids, first of all. On my way out, I gotta fight this guy like that's because i'm leaving anyway like there would be no i wouldn't continue a game after being splintered

and i'd have to hurt that person so goddamn bad for splintering me exactly you gotta hurt him real bad and so i took note and i remembered i was like all right number 59 number 59 you pulled the right number and he played he was forward and so i knew that right, number 59, number 59. You pulled the right number. And he played, he was forward. And so I knew that next time number 59 was trying to block me up and screen me. So I couldn't see the puck. And then a big group of people came in. So the refs couldn't see I was going to do something. So the next time he did, he got into my crease,

which is the blue circle in front of where the goalie stands. And when you get in a goalie's crease, you're in his house. You're in my house. I'm going to fuck with you. And so I took my bl the goalie stands. And when you get in a goalie's crease, you're in his house. You're in my house. I'm going to fuck with you. And so I took my bladed goalie stick. Look it up if you don't know what a goalie stick looks like. It's basically a sword made of wood. And I just was down there and I just saw him

and I was like, number 59. And I just hit him right on the back of his ankle. So fucking hard. I shouldn't have because it was like a permanently damaging move. He went down like a pie. Ripple him. Someone dropped a sack of potatoes from six feet. And then just all of his weight hitting the ground.

And then me standing there like a chick at a bar like, I don't know what happened. As the refs move everybody aside like what's going on here and the guy's going no goalie hit me i don't know no i just i'm just trying to start the puck you know had he splintered you just prior to this is that what he did to you it was probably like honestly probably like 10 12 minutes prior in the period but you got to wait until the next time they're close enough to you for you to do it. I'm so on board with this right now, I can't tell you.

I don't like splinters. I really hate fiberglass splinters. And a splinter back there? Like, that's just tender flesh. It's horrible, dude. Like, you play the rest of the game. Yeah, you play the rest of the game with splinters. I thought the way the story was gonna go is you took your stick and you went straight up between the legs. I'd have been so mad I'd probably hit him in the head. You like your move better? I like his move better.

Yeah, that was... To be fair, you don't have to go like... Like all I needed was like a little raise from like here to here and then just wrap him right on the ankle really fucking hard. And he couldn't play the rest of the game, and probably not the season.

He never played again, cocksucker. Oh, that makes me mad. That splintering thing, like, that's so absurd. Dude, I don't know if people still do that, but that happened to me so many times. I have little scars on my leg from where people raked shit. In my hockey league, if you

stayed late, then another team, if they were short on players, or maybe if they just had the wrong number of players. As you know, 10 players is good, 12 players is good, but 9 and 11 kind of sucks because you don't get right lines and stuff. Anyway, I used to just offer my services like,

Hey, you guys need a man to like even up lines or whatever and play extra. This particular game, I came early because my team had the last game of the night and somebody broke my foot in like the second period. They just shot the puck real hard and it hit it right on the like side behind the toes. Yeah. And, and they broke my foot, but I real hard, and it hit it right on the side behind the toes. Oh. Yeah.

And they broke my foot. But I was like, fuck it. I'll keep playing. So I played on a broken foot for five periods before my night was done. How many OT periods did you have? It was two games. It was the play of the game before, so that was two periods, and then my three, and then I was done. That's rough.

That's something that people don't realize watching it on TV is how much it hurts to get hit by it. They see players just dropping in front of the puck, and they're like, oh, that's just his job. It's like, no, that's a piece of vulcanized rubber. It's frozen. Feel your tire and then pretend that it's 100 times harder, and that's what a puck is. I've held one. A rubber puck will

bounce. So what they do is they freeze the pucks prior to playing so that they're not bouncy. You ever seen someone in the crowd take one in the head? Yeah, someone died in a Columbus Blue Jacket. Wow, now that didn't happen. I've been to two games ever and the one I went

to, some guy took one in the head. that was pretty cool he was only like 60 feet from me yeah that'll kill you yeah i uh my friend was a big fan uh he was lithuanian he had a puck that at our apartment and i just remember picking it up and being like oh shit this is what this is what they're swinging it so fucking hard on ice like this is the thing that zips around so fast that they have to put that bubble over it so I can see it? Like, it's a real danger out there. If it hits you in the protection, you're fine. If it hits you where you're not protected, then ouch.

I wore a cage. I was going to ask if you did, but I forgot you play goalie. But I wore a cage, which is what they call that wire mask. And good Lord, every game something would happen sometimes to me sometimes to someone else that made me thankful i had a cage people just get like teeth knocked out big scars on their face you know or if it was me just like a big clunk to the head so i'm glad i wore a cage yeah i don't understand why a lot of pros don't wear you know at least like a full face mask of the, like the plexiglass they can have. Like you can have that glass or you can have the cage.

I don't like the cage. Like if I didn't play goalie, I wouldn't be used to it. But I can see why people who don't play that aren't used to it. But Jesus Christ, it's awful. But every time I watch an NHL game, like, perfect example, Alex Ovechkin plays for the Capitals. He's missing, like, three teeth right now, and he makes $7 million a year.

He just lives nine months of his year with no teeth, just like, yeah, you have to play hockey. Like, that's just all he does. Why do you have to be mad? It's just game. Oh, that's Ilya Brizgalov. That's the best gift ever. I do love that one.

He was a goalie in Philadelphia, and Philadelphia is known for just trolling their goalies so hard and treating them like shit. And they were interviewing him after a game, and he got flustered, and he was like, It is the only game. Why do you have to be mad? That would be a good one to pull out.

Hey, guys, I hate to do this to you. I didn't want to make it to the end, but because we got the late start, my stream is due to start in 20 minutes. I need to get ready for it. I love being here, man. Thanks for having me, as always. Twitch.com slash Boogie2988,

or Twitch.tv slash Boogie2988, YouTube.com slash Boogie2988 or twitch.tv slash boogie2988 youtube.com slash boogie2988 you know where to find me I'm happy to be one of your favorite shit lords you guys are my favorite shit lords as always just know that so proud thank you so much boogie great thanks for having me

thanks so I'm gonna have to fix the screen grabs Kyle somehow still still awesome. Now put his or Chiz's shitty hat. Now you can bring Chiz in here to corroborate my story. Oh, I was saying we should all get for... Maybe I don't even want to say it on the air.

Remember the item that I thought we should all buy for a future show? Yes, I think we should save the concept. Save it. Okay. I'd like to do that make that happen i already picked uh pick some stuff out shit i'm gonna go play paintball this uh we really should get chis in i want to hear about his train escapades what kind of vagabonds he came across

the train folk he said it's pretty Like, he's almost convinced me that it's definitely not ideal transportation, but as an experience, it's definitely not. Like, the plane is the best transportation for cross-country travel. But, I don't know, if you were trying to, if you weren't in a hurry, and it wasn't

like a business trip, and you didn't mind spending another $150, $200 for the scenery and the experience of the whole thing. Especially if you got something to do. Like if you were with another person or maybe reading. I could see it. I could see that. I wouldn't want to be sober the whole time.

I wonder if there's some sort of a drinking car. No fucking way. No fucking way I'd be sober the whole time on a train from LA to Chicago. Like you got to have some sort of fun. I just imagine crying myself to sleep at night. It would be,

I wonder how loud it is in there. I bet it's loud and it's not smooth. That's the big thing. Like I want to be, I want to train to be like exceptionally like levitating smooth, but it's not. They're just rocking you over. When I first started commuting

on train, it's rocking side to side. I'm glad we didn't fly. And it goes side to side. The thing was leaning so much. I'm looking at the other passengers to find out if this is normal. I'm just trying to read their body language. I like to

whenever my plane, whenever an airplane is getting exceptionally bumpy bumpy I always like to look around and find that guy who's not much of a flyer like maybe this is his first or second time and he's like really he's just like you're right I like getting really I need a stewardess

yeah yeah like I always wish I could be seated next to that guy just to fuck with him. Because I can remember even like being at Six Flags and my friend had never been on any of the rides. He'd never been to Six Flags before. We were on this thing called Acrophobia, which is the standard seating thing where you kind of sit on a bicycle seat in your crotch. And then the thing comes down over the top and you kind of hang on here and your feet are left dangling and acrophobia uh basically lifts all the riders straight up 250 feet you hang out for a minute then it tilts you all forward so you're kind of like looking straight down to where you're going and then it drops you all like 250 feet free fall it's scary as fuck

it's probably the scariest ride i've ever been on and but he's right next to me and i'm like clawing at like his buckles and straps and trying to like undo them while we're at the top and i'm just like come on man let's get the fuck out of here this is crazy and then he's just like just like hanging on to it for dear life i like fucking with people so i uh yeah i'm sorry i was gonna do an am question I thought that was a trend are you going to buy that new or old Camaro I don't know my dad I showed you my dad's project car I think the other day that I think it was cool let me see if I can find a picture

of this thing so you want an old sports car and a new truck you think that's the better way to go I don't know if there is a better way to go, but I think I would like that. And, you know, he's

pretty good at making cars, and the thing's going to be really fast. I think this is a Chevelle. I don't know my old cars very well, though. Oh, shucks. Ah, looks like a piece of shit.'s a money carlo i don't know the hangout the fenders are taken off right now here's it from sort of the back slash oh well shucks i liked it before because i had a good excuse to not know it um it looks like the kind of car i wouldn't pay any attention to. I think it's a Chevelle.

And once it's put together, it looks very nice. Have you considered the Chevette? That's a nice car. Chevette's a piece of shit. I know. No, the Chevette is wildly superior to the Chevelle, Kyle. Both have awful names. Woody, will you ever buy a sports car and if so what will i get um

they're just not what excite me lately plus it feels almost cliche i hate to not get something just because everyone gets it but god you know like like you need one more youtuber with some bmw or mercedes you're an adult see i i even if i got to be a billionaire, I would never buy a sports car. I want a big fucking luxury car. Like something that feels like you're driving a couch just around the street. Just huge, so many features, a lot of headroom. Only USB Blade has something in that class to me. What's he got?

I think it's a Lincoln Town. No, it's a Cadillac. It's a Cadillac i think it's a lincoln town no it's a cadillac it's a cadillac but it's big it's some rarely found extended big extra large super cadillac i can see that a big cadillac like a big luxury car that's what i want to prove based on you know what you said there uh i want a big truck i i the dodge Wagon is still the thing that stuck in my head. I saw that Chevrolet. I've been impressed by both the Chevy and the Ford

recently. I saw the Ford today, the newest one, and I really liked how it looked. Especially the tailgate. But the new Chevy 2500 looks really tall. I don't know. I like the way it looks too. The Power Wagon is tall. It's super tall. There's a truck company. don't know they're getting

they're a little pricey there's a place called rocky ridge custom trucks or something and they take they they take a brand new truck and then they put their spin on it like you know like they lift it and put um grill guards on it and like off-road tires and all kinds of pack like like performance packages and they add like another 10 15 grand to the price tag but those things look amazing dude that's one of the reasons i like the power wagon like it has a see i don't like the big grill guards and the like you need that the power wagon has a winch built into a factory bumper you can hardly see it except for the you know cable coming out the front that yeah i saw that that's cool that's cool to me but um sports car god i guess i'd like one but it's just like this is almost fantasy stuff like i would have to have so much extra money before i

threw down for a nice sports car you could get an old you could get a nice sports car for cheap though like you just have to change your definition of nice sports car like like don't get a brand new like late model like mustang or corvette or something like what if you got like a 1998 uh mustang cobra or something or 2000 or something like that you could get something with 400 horsepower from like 2000 that would still be a reliable fast fun car for like 8 or 12 grand probably it doesn't have to be like a fifty thousand dollar expenditure you could like that chevelle or whatever like those old cars they're building over there they start out with like eight thousand dollar cars and then sink another eight thousand into them and then they got like a thirty thousand dollar car that they built themselves

even so like it i'd for me to like blow even the numbers you're talking about, 16 grand on something, I would have to have like an extra million before I threw away 16 grand on something like that. But it's a project. Yeah, that I could get into. I mean, if it's a hobby. That just doesn't sound like fun. It is fun.

What doesn't sound like fun? Doing a car? Is spending that much money to buy a car that kyle just admitted someone who bought an eight thousand dollar just shell can put eight thousand dollars into oh you gotta have a lot of sell it to you for 30 you could but you've also got to have all the know-how experience and like the the shop and the tools like i mean you know it's that's he does he paints them he does all the engine work and all the body work and all that stuff himself so it's are you all about like the sports feel or would you ever

want like a big luxury sedan i like nice things uh it could i like all nice things i would love a big cadillac i would like like a like a um what's uh what's the the uh the escalade like like a like a new escalade would be really cool. Those things look great. But I also like the BMW M4. Like a tiny little German sports car with tons of features. But also like the new Corvette. But I also like that power wagon thing.

That's cool. I just like nice stuff. I'm not picky. Kyle sells it so well, I feel like that's me too. Yeah. I like nice things yeah i know like i know all these guys who drool over nothing but trucks they're just like oh horsepower and torque and like fucking tim allen right jerking off to trucks but and i'm like yeah that's a really nice fucking truck that's that's great that's nice But I could get into that just as equally as I would like a 37 like rat rod that, that they've left that exterior all rusty, but they've made the drive train,

you know, super souped up and it's kind of a sleeper slash like show car kind of thing. Like I'd love that just as much. I just like nice cars, interesting cars, same thing with guns. You know, I've got, I've got a a 180 rifle that i've been playing with a ton lately meanwhile i've got i've got ten thousand dollar rifles that i'm not bothering with at all lately i've been moving so i have this 18 foot trailer it's like 16 feet with a two foot dovetail and uh pulling that thing around on the highways and stuff it makes me feel all like ah yeah like it's working i See, I need a truck because I do shit like this.

I feel like I have to justify it. I just like it. I was about to take a picture of my truck pulling the loaded trailer today. This guy had lots of big cabinets on it and refrigerator and stuff like that. That's a haul, I guess. You ever see someone driving

down the interstate and they've got their car completely crammed with trash? Yes. What is the story on that? That's what I was getting at. In my opinion, there must be only two scenarios that I can imagine. One, maybe they're moving

and it's crammed full of their belongings. I understand that. I get that. Whatever. But sometimes, it's like garbage full of their belongings i understand that i get that whatever but sometimes it's like garbage it's like an enormous amount of garbage and i'm not the cleanest guy i there's some mcdonald's bags in my car that's that doesn't bother me what he thought what he was all grossed out by my back seat i'm cleaner than kyle he's cleaner than kyle that's that's but go on but these people will have like dozens of bags like crammed up like into that space under the back window glass like like up there where the speakers are

like that like trash back there you got trash back there you got problems he had so much stuff in his car now some of it wasn't trash it was like those signs that say we're building here or whatever. But he also had like, you know, just trash, you know, Starbucks tipped over ice coffees or whatever. Like he liked it. He's like, that way, no, I never have to give anyone a ride because it's so disgusting and filled with garbage. Wow. What a great out he's found for having friends. He fooled the system. Yeah. Yeah. he loved it.

He's like, I never have to give rides. Oh, I just don't flush my toilet after I shit so I don't have to worry about friends coming over or any company. Everyone steers clear. That's ridiculous. Are you guys happy with what pka has become and where it's gone in the last year with so many large

changes what does the next year hold for pka yes i'm overwhelmingly happy with what happened in the last year because it added me and if you look at the last year just for everyone's um you know uh viewpoint

so you you understand what the last year has been, I think it's been almost exactly a year to the day since we did the survival trip in Yuari, and I got sick, and Wings didn't come, and all that happened. I think it's been almost exactly a year, like 306 sick things. Yeah. So, yeah, if you think starting from there, I think we've done really well.

I think that we've made the show itself better, like the product, the final product, and the way that – and the number of products. There's more stuff going on. We've done a few trips. We're doing the PKN thing now. Every now and then we do a PK plays, I suppose. But there is more content, and all of the content that there is is better than it ever was before people like to have a fond look back on past shows with a really

with rose colored glasses especially some of Wing's moments which were just not that funny when you really stop and break them down and look at what was going on and I think that adding Taylor to the mix has been great I think that adding Chiz to the mix has been really great as well.

Chiz working in the background, securing hosts, or excuse me, guests, securing sponsorships and stuff like that, which make everything work better. That's been great. And I think that's about all I got. Yeah, I think it's better. I'm happy with where it is. Oh, as far as where we're going to go in the next year, I hope we do more trips.

I like the trips. I really enjoyed hanging out with Woody and Joe and Chiz. That was super successful. I entered a trip, maybe just the anxious version of me, but I entered trips nervous. Are we going to have enough fans? Is the sponsor, in this case, Romeo from Paintball, is he going to be happy with how everything goes down uh you know like it but it's worried are

people gonna have fun right even if there are a lot of people that come there but they all just melt in the sun and it's yucky and yeah it's not a good thing either it was wildly successful like on every count the hosts the sponsors and the fans were all happy and uh and it makes me want to do it again yeah so um turned out really well so yeah that's my answer to that one yeah that's good answer thank you it was a very good answer very flattering to me i appreciate it uh woody at what moment did you know jackie was going to be the one you were going to be with for the rest of your life that's funny so i told her that she was the one that i was going to be with for the rest of my life almost immediately but that was because i was

trying to get laid so uh the actual reality i want to say it was like when I really sort of decided on that. It was a couple years in. And I guess it was when I was ready to marry her. The whole time. She didn't think of it as a trial period. She thought it was inevitable. But to me, I was like, ah, you know, I grew up a lot when I got a real job. I'd like to see her get a real job and make sure I still like this version of her.

You know, I'd like to see her finish school. I'd like to see this. I'd like to see that. And just make sure that she didn't like change up on me because we were kind of young. And at one point she had, in my head, like sort of cleared all these hurdles. And we weren't living together, which was clever on her part. And it was like, well, i'm just done with her leaving like i i want her here all the time and um that was pretty much when i decided to propose it was like

that is this her not staying here stuff is is no good how old were you 22 i think jesus christ i'm behind turned 24 yesterday yeah i was kind of ahead of schedule if you call it that you know but i did a lot of this stuff early like i remember when i worked at cisco there was like a fellow 26 year old and uh he was kind of slow in graduating school and and whatever whereas me like i had had four jobs at that point i had a wife i had a house i had a child and uh and i was 26 so you know i don't know i'm amongst my friend group and stuff we were always the first to get married first to have the kids etc we did that early but it worked out well how old were you when you had How old were you when you had hope?

26. Kyle, you're behind, man. I still got two years to make up for it. I'm way ahead. To hit the Woody. You asshole. I'm way ahead. I'm saving up all that money that children and wives cost, and I'm investing it into guns and

ammo and i'm happy with my uh with my decisions i uh what he puts it best he says i make a good uncle and i think he's right i'm great and uh you know if if you need me two or three days at a time to be responsible and and all that stuff but i just don't think uh that i'm very well cut out for that uh what did she just give you what did she just give you he's not listening what'd you get what did she just give you she handed you something what is that she she gave me kyle as a dick i thought it was gonna to be a beer. This is better. It looks like I've got an MP7 with an EOTech there. I like that. Nice P-W.

And then she always puts a lot of space between the nuts because she says they're moving. They're running. So you can imagine my stride. Well, that's great. Wow. Very flattering. Look at how your hair goes into the penis head.

I see it. I love that. That's where I parted. That's where I parted, right? Yeah. That's great. For those of you who missed it out, I missed out last time, Taylor's girlfriend makes those penises for fun. Very, very graphic penises.

This is a secret. And Kyle suggested that she... Tell her thank you very... I thank her very much. He thanks you very much. For making me into a dick. Have you watched Fargo yet?

I've seen the TV show? The TV show. No. I've seen it in the hood. Oh, no. Never mind. She based your character off of the main character in mine, if you want to watch it. I see it. I see it. Yeah, see?

He's got, yeah, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I don't know about the stamps. I'm not sure. Maybe it's like a laugh line. I'm not sure. It's a cock, and that's you so i don't know my ball feet look slightly

different kyle this one's hard to answer maybe i don't know we'll see um kyle if youtube ceased to exist today and you couldn't make russian videos anymore what would your backup plan be i have something i'm working on right now i actually went and got some uh i'm working on uh i don't know i got some fingerprint cards done today and I'm going to see my lawyer. I'm working on something. That's the answer. He's got a thing. I know what this thing is

and I am incredibly bullish on the concept. Kyle could launch into the next stratosphere of income. It could go super well. It could. And I think in the worst case scenario, it's going to be one of those things that does okay at the very least and makes money.

It'll make $5,000 to $10,000 a month every month. I just feel like it will. It just will. And I wouldn't be at all surprised if it was $7,500 a month. Yeah, it could. We'll see. I'm pretty optimistic.'m gonna i'm gonna

get into it pretty pretty soon here uh so kyle have you ever thought about hiring a full-time assistant i get asked that so much and the answer is absolutely not no i need uh i didn't want his name is jeremy no jeremy's got a job i'm just making that up because I forgot the other guy's name. Jeff? Josh. Josh. This guy's pretty good. Personal. I've considered moving Chiz on in before.

We've actually had that talk before. I think Woody's had a similar talk with him before too, but if Chiz would ever quit smoking, he could totally be like assistant to the region. Would he be assistant to mr gamer tag or assistant gamer tag i'm not sure i don't know um jizz actually might be a useful guy in your thing but i don't want to lose him um it doesn't smoke look at this guy um not a puff but yeah i i think you need someone who you know it can't be a jeremy class guy right you need someone who's a a grown-up who reliable and professional and doesn't make dumb mistakes

yeah um i'm not sure i think i can handle the whole thing by myself as long as it's in that like five thousand dollar a month range but if it were to do something insane like you're describing like fifty thousand dollar a month range i'd of course were to do something insane like you're describing, like $50,000 a month range, I'd of course find someone who was someone like Taylor, who knew what they were doing to come in and like, you don't really need to know what you're doing. You just really need to have a good head on your shoulders and be able to

follow the game plan. I think that's what it's about. I don't need someone who's quick on their feet making decisions. I need someone who'd be like, hey Kyle, so the turbine thingy, it broke. Okay, good. I'm glad you called me. Shut everything down.

We just got to do this. Like, I need somebody who knows what they're doing. So you just need someone who's not functionally retarded. Dude, some basic stuff. Because I can do that. My general contract. No, no. My experience with renovating this house

has enlightened me to how many people have poor planning and basic logic skills, right? Like in the case of the house, it's like, all right, you've got to do this before this, you know, we're going to be work. Hey, this thing takes two weeks to get in. So we should make a call about that now so that we're ready for, you know, so that we're not held up by it. That kind of thought process is way more rare than i thought it was and i how how do people not get it i i'm finding this constantly yeah you know like the sequence of events that you do stuff normal project planning it it eludes a huge swath of the population. It does.

Basic, just like you said, management skills especially. I feel like that was part of it because I feel like if your general contractor were a contractor, he could probably handle that. Like if someone else were just telling him, be here at Monday morning at 8 o'clock, you're doing drywall, he could do something like that. But he was totally over his head, it seemed. He shouldn't be self-employed.

With scheduling all those people and making it all work as a big machine, which is what a worksite should be. He's a salesman. You could be highly paid as a salesman. He should be in there landing deals. Highest paid profession in the world. Is that true? It can't be. It is.

It can't be. It can't be it is it can't be it can't be just like okay professional athlete I don't think that you would count that sort of thing I'm CEO porn star well what is a CEO you've got to break that down someone who's fortune 500 CEO officer of a given firm see I think this is a lot of CBO what about a like $5,000 a year companies and stuff. Yeah, you could... In the long run, across it all, I promise you, salesmen are the highest paid profession,

more than doctors or lawyers. There's just sales professionals get paid a lot. Sales professionals certainly get paid a lot. On average. Yeah, and it's a job that's difficult to outsource. It's a gift. And there's some things You may think of sales

What are we talking about here There's retail sales That's a thing And then low on the branch of the tree Of sales I think is probably car sales But even at car sales you can turn around And make $15,000, $25,000 a month If you're an all star

But I can remember guys who were selling cars Who were like i want to get into selling yachts i want to get into they always want there was something else that there was always something else where the commissions were sweeter where like yeah man you sell these yachts you sell two yachts maybe three a year that's your nut you're made like and i'm just like wow that is that would be cool like you just show yachts like and it's all personality driven it's all just hey how you doing welcome to my big fucking yacht you want to spend some money all right let's go like you just got to be that guy and be good at it and i think i'd sell software ah yeah that's

not as fun it's not no no no no doubt about it but if i'm realistic i could do it i could sell i'm knowledgeable not everyone can do do this. I get the problem that you're trying to solve, whether it be ERP software, testing, development software, whatever. Any fucking software business problem, I can fucking sell it and understand it and get what... It's solution-oriented selling, right? This is the problem you have. This is how my product fits it. And yeah, I would sell stuff. I think a lot of if what kyle says is true that salesman is the highest paid profession it could be a lot to do with the fact that salesmen just by their very nature are they tend to be more ambitious than the the normal population like

they're they're looking to get ahead they're looking to do something to make moves to get to the next echelon in life. One nice thing about sales is it's super easy to quantify their impact on your organization, right? If you're an IT manager, how fucking useful are you exactly? I don't know. We know we kind of need you, but I don't know. A salesman says, I brought in like $6.9 million worth of sales this quarter. Without me, you'd have had $6.9 million less. And I expect this quarter to make like a quarter million of that.

And you do that four times, it's a million bucks a year. And they're like, yeah, a quarter million is really kind of worth it to bring in $6.9 million. I grossed a million one July. Right? It's a lot of cars, even at 50 grand a pop. Yeah. And the thing about software sales is it's virtual goods so it's like it's almost all profit you know the difference in in your sale or not

having your sale is straight up how much money your company's making yeah and you get sales is fun i always enjoyed the i like sitting at my desk and watching the game uh that that is like car sales kind of happen around me like everybody's been in a car dealership and they've seen it kind of happen before but only like that day and you were there buying a car if when you're on the other end of it when you sit there every day and watch the same game get played every day and the same lies get told in the same body language and stuff and just kind of look around and like get a sense for how funny the whole dance is. It's a lot of fun. It's cause it's the same thing every time.

Do you go into car dealerships ever and are confronted by a bad salesman? I don't go. Because I hate that. No, I don't go for a couple of reasons. One, they don't have a choice. They have to come after you. If the, if, if, if their their management saw them not coming after you, that would make them look like such a piece of shit in their eyes. You get fired for not picking up a customer who was wandering around the lot.

If you were just like, oh, they're not looking. I've seen it happen before. There's been some guy, the manager was like, why is nobody talking to that customer? Right fucking there. You guys are up here arguing about your place in line sitting in these comfortable chairs there's an old white guy out there looking at minivans why is nobody talked to him and some guys like oh i talked to him he's not interested and they're like kyle go talk to that guy and like three hours later i did sell him a minivan but i didn't make any money they fired that other guy like yeah so you've got to be that annoying salesman who's like harassing i

know that's true because have i ever told you guys about when there's a lamborghini porsche ferrari dealership in st louis and i and i was like a junior in high school and so i like i with my girlfriend at the time i parked my jeep like way off in the corner so they couldn't see me go in and then i just walked into the dealership and there's like they had a bugatti veyron there just as like a show thing and so there was that there and there when they were like 1.2 1.5 you know 900 000 cars just sitting around and i just walked around for a while looking indignant in my preppy shitty clothes until eventually someone came up and was asking me like hey uh you know just looking around for fun are you interested in buying anything and i was

like yeah you know i mean i'm turning you know 16 or 17 soon and my dad said he was going to get me something like this and i'm just looking around to see what i like and so then the guy followed me around for like half an hour as i just like sat in these exotic sports cars and then just like pretended like i was looking at the wheel like and then i like eventually settled on like a yellow ferrari that was sitting in the corner and i was like i really like this one but i swear to God if my dad bought me a yellow one I would die and the dude was just like yeah yeah yeah well there's a lot more colors than that that's just what we have right right now there's there's a black one what do you think you're most interested in i'm like i don't know man honestly like something chrome and then i left and that was it i never went back i like that the chrome

something chrome i'll be back don't notice that i'm getting into a 2000 jeep right now that's great that That's good. They have to. They have to come in. Yeah, they got to come up to you because that's sales. All right. What is your opinion on computers slash machines

taking jobs out of the market? For example, the McDonald's cashier is being replaced by automated teller machines. Some believe the economy will take a severe hit from technology

shrinking the job market in the next few decades. Is McDonald's really replacing them with machines? They might be. It's still total bullshit. McDonald's closed like 700 stores. They better watch their ass. McDonald's is shrinking. Taco Bell and Chipotle are growing. Did you see that article? I'm sorry.

That's completely off topic. I think it's good that they're stealing those people's jobs with those machines. They're always complaining about not getting paid $15 an hour to cook fries. It's like, well, just find a machine. No shit. There's no demand for you to do that. Sorry, we can't manufacture that. He's referencing a CPG Gray video.

I probably messed that up. CP Gray. I don't know. Do you know the video I'm talking about? Essentially, he proposes the thought that while throughout all of human history every advance in technology has just created like a bigger more robust you know economy with more jobs this time will be different this time when jobs get replaced there will be no replacement jobs for it and i think that's the horseshit

yeah i think it's horseshit too i think that there used to be a lot of uh women employed as typists and we don't need them anymore they all found new work and there's a lot of people right now who are cashiers and they're gonna have to get phased out too because that's a dumb fucking job anyway if you're a cashier let's just be honest it's so fucking easy you're just punching buttons into a machine you're you're you're a middleman between me and that machine with in that box with the money in it like i don't need you like the only reason they're there is in case the machine acts up so that they can not fix it but call someone else who knows something about the machine over to it yeah the thing i use is this it's like people have heard it before but let's say you're in a village right ancient times etc and there's eight guys out there with spears throwing them at

fish right on the side of the water throwing spears at fish etc and then murka comes along and invents a net now murka is catching as many fish by himself as me and my team of seven other guys would with our spear fishing, right? Oops, sorry about that. So this net has put us all out of work. So what do we do? We work on other aspects of our village. We build structures. We build better thatch roofs. We build hammocks and pick bananas and whatever. And it's not that we're out of work. We find some new work to do. I do not believe that there's anything happening now, you know, in putting cashiers out of work that's going to be like, oh, there'll never be any work. You know, maybe more people will have guys because it has to be real low end work, right?

For guys that can't do high end jobs, right? Can we admit some people in the world don't do high end jobs? World needs ditch diggers too. Is that what you're saying? That's what I'm saying, right? So that maybe more people will have guys who clean their houses maybe more people will have assistants that go pick up their starbucks i don't know but there will be jobs out there for sure i want a room by the size of like an ottoman that just cleans everything they have roomas now for hardwood floors. Yeah. Yeah, they mop and sweep and stuff like that. I think you should get one,

and I think it'd be a worthy investment. Make a video of it. I bet Roomba might even give you one. I'd love to see you film that thing and maybe put a camera on it. I was looking at these Roombas, right? Have you ever watched a Roomba work? My mom got a Roomba when they were new,

like a new thing, and it is a piece of shit. I actually, I ended up, it tricked me into vacuuming the living room one day because I watched the Roomba going, and I'm like, this is never going to get done. This random happenstance of angles and horse shit, this is never going to become a full room. So I just vacuumed the room in spite of the Roomba.

So that's why they're awful. The other thing is I looked up how many square feet this like mopping Roomba can handle and it was 300 square feet. Wow! So I'm like, I fucking need 22 Roombas to do my house.

I would like that. I've been playing with my drones a little i almost used the drone on the trash man today but he seemed uh that would be cool if they all work together yeah that's like 22 room bus are you kidding me like they don't even make a dent in in a bigger house i think they would be good for dusting and stuff and like dealing with like dust and pet hair and right the fur like dirt you might track in with your shoes on hardwood like just you know keeping it from getting getting fuzzy or anything but as far as like that that when you actually mop your hardwood floors and it's kind of i don't think you replace a good

scrubbing here's another thought they're coming out with a roomba lawnmower and basically what it is you stick like pillars like maybe like four corners around your house or your whole yard or whatever and you define that as the area that it mows and then it does that and i'm like and then you have to wait three weeks for it to finish and meanwhile your lawn just looks like a weird jig jag maze looks like a child that tries to cut their own hair long and spiky have you ever ever seen where people take and drive a stake in the ground and take a rope from it and tie it to the lawnmower and so the lawnmower

just keeps doing stuff? And then the rope shortens as it goes around the stake like a yo-yo. That's the smarter version of the Roomba. The Roomba just goes in its own direction. And it'll go over the same paths. They have more intelligent ones now they

basically it projects something on the ceiling and uses that to like more intelligently do its path i didn't know that yeah the one you're talking about the original ones they just bump into shit like a child's toy and just go in some other direction that's what i'm talking about the ones that like they run into a stool and it's just like just kind of like just turns randomly away from anything i think it would be a good um addition to your household cleaning i think like if you had a couple of those floating around the uh the woody manor over there um maybe maybe instead of mopping every 10 days you mop every two weeks or something and and that's the quality you would get out of it but it's definitely not gonna be a replacement for them to have a return policy like that's what i want to know can i do this thing for

two weeks and be amazon this is garbage dude amazon that thing right now like you could have it put in that room doesn't and amazon they don't give a fuck like you could use the thing for a month and send it back to amazon they probably take it amazon is an amazing business model right and a lot of the stuff you buy on amazon isn't even from amazon right it's just the amazon storefront like they become the new cost of doing business for everyone who wants to sell stuff online they're incredible yeah i love amazon Yeah, I love Amazon. Looking at the questions. This last one. What's that?

I was just going to say, I'm telling you, there's some shitty questions. You guys need to get more creative. I like the bottom one, maybe. Was it the one where we're like, because we're letting human beings who would normally die in the wild live? So here's the thing. Maybe you should read the question. Or maybe should wait for taylor to get back is that a new poster he's got yeah he added a django poster nice it's hard because i have a special needs kid and he's

pretty much saying like ah this is a bad thing that uh that it's not just the strongest surviving and i'm like, wait a minute. Yeah, there's two sides to that coin, I think. I think part of being the evolved version of us that we are is not survival of the fittest. It's, what is your guys' opinion on how natural selection in humans is currently taking place? Example, mentally incapable animals will never survive in the wild and yet humans appear to play god and try to keep all forms of handicapped people alive is there a line should all humans be treated equally across the entire spectrum

including including murderers insane people physically mentally handicapped etc there's a line but um i'm not sure where it is i think it i think it's going to change from person to person i don't think all people should be treated the same not all of them yeah also i think to myself like young woody was quite the jackass and um i remember there was a school administrator my friend's father was like a superintendent or something like he's the guy that's the a bunch of principals bosses and uh he was saying that like kids should be like weeded out like they shouldn't even make it the 12th grade if you're doing poorly cut them cut them cut them i think they might do that in europe i'm not sure and uh and it just occurred to me like man i've been cut after like eighth grade like they just said wo Woody, you're a ditch digger.

Done. I think that's more of a problem. I think that's more of a flaw with our educational system, though, than with the philosophy that we're talking about, the idea of the survival of the fittest and cutting people out. I think it's a bigger difference there. That seems like a failure with the education system that they couldn't help you find your true potential

and get those straight A's that you should have been getting or into some sort of a technical program where you could have excelled into computers and or woodworking or perhaps become the professional hockey player that you were always meant to be or invented some sort of a new sport which was half hockey half swimming now we're on to something. I remember that I tried to get into this computer program, like program for computer programmers, I guess, and like a camp or school thing. And they're like, ah, your kid's too young. And I'm like, yeah, but I'm smart.

Like maybe I could do this. I'm really excited. And they gave me some math problems to solve. But the thing is, you know how like in school they use the division sign right that horizontal line with the dot above and below it or they'll use like either a dot or an x for multiplication they were like four star eight you know can you solve that how about you know 32 slash four can you solve that and i I'm like, oh, my God. Like, I've never even seen stars and slashes. And it's like, you motherfuckers.

Now I know that, you know, you were just, like, swapping out the symbols. And I could have easily done those. I wonder how things would have changed in general. Someone should have gotten on that. Yeah. I just, like, I don't. Why didn't you ask anyone what the fucking symbols meant, man? I guess...

Pride. I should have. I don't know. Hey, what are these symbols between the numbers? What are we inferring with those? I'm a kid, and there's these people saying, you can't do this, and then they put it in front to prove their point,

and it was like, oh, God. An older, more extroverted, more confident version of me would have been like, slashes? What do we got going on here? Yeah, that's odd. You know, but yeah. I was taught both. I remember from an early age that I think maybe on the standardized testing, maybe it

is a dot and a slash for multiplication and division. And I definitely remember that like the, it seems like the simplified form, the earliest format that I learned was the dot, was the line with the dots on top and bottom for division and the uh you know the x for multiplication but uh but definitely later on i learned the you know this the asterisk type thing right right the asterisks and the slash to me that was a computer thing like they didn't have a division symbol on the keyboard so they just grabbed something else. Is that not how they teach kids anymore? With the line and the two dots?

That's what I associate with division. He was talking about doing a standardized test at one point to qualify for a computer class or something like that. They pulled the switcheroo on him and suddenly it was stars and slashes. He wasn't familiar with those symbols. So he

didn't do well on the test and now he wonders thinking back if only he'd known what the fuck they were even talking about. Because the math wasn't hard at all. If only you had known. You might not be here. I think we've all got moments like that where we think back and we're like was I properly

evaluated? Because I feel like now looking back that all of that shit that seemed so hard back then was it's just real simple and they should have just taught it better and i think that happens a lot every day i think we've just got bad teachers yeah there's a lot of bad teachers out there it's also just a bunch of lazy kids out there i wish the standards for uh for for teachers were much higher and uh and the motivation for students was as well does it seem like it's completely pay related yeah oh yeah teachers no there are some people who just want to teach that's what they want to do and yeah but they shouldn't there's totally plenty like like who what teachers are we turning away that's what i

want to know what what person wanted to teach, like, sixth grade, and they were like, I'm sorry, you're just not up to par? Like, that doesn't happen. Like, will anybody who's willing teach our children the most, you know, the fundamentals of life, apparently, when in reality we should be treating those people like we treat engineers? I feel like the person who's engineering your kid's mind

should be at least as well qualified as the guy engineering my oh yeah that needs to apply to cops and teachers cops and teachers both need to be paid way more and it needs to be a way more stringent difficult thing to become one of them like it needs to be something like 70 grand plus like oh 90 i saw the average pay in jersey is 90 i just read recently it was the highest they were talking about chris christie maybe in that article yeah really hot yeah um but but i feel like a teacher should be making 75 grand um all that uh i don't think they should be um i see a lot of times where it's difficult to get rid of bad teachers uh because of unions and such i think that's a big load of bullshit.

It should be – there should be performance standards. And I realize that sometimes – and I know so many teachers. My mother is a teacher. My ex-girlfriend's best friends, like two of her best friends were both teachers in the public school system in Atlanta. And so I understand there are scenarios where you've just got a bunch of fucking kids that don't want to learn and it's almost like the like a hillary swank movie or something we're like yeah i was gonna say that too like i like if you're a dentist right if you're a dentist in the hamptons right and it's filled with like vacation home from new

york stockbrokers and their families and whatever. And I'm a dentist in West Virginia. It's hard to evaluate me and say, Woody, you know, your customers are losing teeth. They've got cavities, et cetera. You know, your West Virginia dentist must suck because these ones in the Hamptons outside, you know, the outside New York city, their people have amazing teeth, but you know, it's not just the dentist there. It's the people that are your client base. Teachers get the same thing. You can't straight up evaluate a teacher based on how well a kid does on tests. Having said that, maybe there is a way to evaluate teachers that lets us get rid of the bad ones.

I don't like the standardized test though because I feel like... Did you not do well? I did do well. Well. There's not even an H in well. There is now. They do so well in English. But they...

I did do pretty well at standardized testing, but I don't feel like it's a good way to... Alright, so I feel like if you've got standardized testing and then you've got teachers who are, you know, their job security is based upon how their students do on their standardized testing, then, of course, all they're going to do is teach the test. And that's not learning.

That's not what learning is. Like, you should come away from American history with a firmer grasp upon American history, not the best way to fill out 100 bubbles on a Scantron. There's a big difference between the two, and I definitely can think back on those differences between the classes that, I mean, I don't think I ever paid attention in economics.

I don't think I learned a damn thing. I watched the History Channel, and that was my economics class. I think I made like an 80, something like that. I never learned anything in that whole class because they were teaching a test, and it just didn't seem like it mattered. I didn't learn any of that stuff. That's true. Econ does suck.

You're talking about high school econ? Yeah, yeah. And I had classes where there were good teachers in high school. I remember I had a history teacher who went on and on about the Battle of Thermopylae, and he went on and on about the Hittites, and this Zoroastrianism or something,

sort of the precursor to the God of Abraham that we're all so familiar with. I absorbed all of that shit from 10th grade. I still got it, but I don't remember any of the other history classes from high school because they were shitty teachers it also could be because you're just interested by ancient history instead of other history because i remember a fuck ton of

stuff from ancient history courses and if you were to ask me anything about american history that's not really basic i probably wouldn't know because it's just more boring ancient history is interesting as shit i like just i i feel like i like to see the america has kind of shaped the world in in so many ways it's kind of fun to go back i like the history channel specials where they talk about the cia operations in south america and all and all the uh the democratically uh elected governments that the cia was just toppling and overthrowing so that you know we could control the the price of of sugar in this country and just all this bullshit that that we did throughout the decades yeah they pulled some shenanigans they really did i wonder if that still happens oh yeah all the time we just did it to saddam hussein that was not really a

backroom deal like that was kind of and that was pretty wide after that was pretty wide there wasn't any uh i remember all the the ways that they tried to kill castro back in the day like there were tons of plots oh yeah there were tons of big stuff oh i mean that's a big one that's that's a big mess and big pie on everybody's face but there were little plots that involved the cia where they were trying to put poisons in Castro's drinks, and it was a problem because you had to find out what his schedule was going to be. You couldn't just get access to Castro's soda.

You had to know where he was going to be so you could put an agent in that soda fountain so that he could sprinkle something in it because you couldn't just get to him. They didn't have someone to shake his hand with a poison strip no seth rogan wasn't available um he was like where's that from is that game of thrones who is that no right it was uh what was that movie called interview the interview yeah kim jong-un that was good but um oh god damn did i lose my train of thought we're just talking about murdering castro oh they they had this plot to like uh

they were going to give him this toxin that would make his all of his beard hair fall out because they thought that would like i swear to god google this right now they want they thought if they could make castro's beard fall out then he would lose like power and then that was part of their war against him yeah that's like some samson not like physical power but like he Samson? Yeah, that's some Samson. Not physical power, but he would lose respect. It would embarrass him publicly in front of his people and stuff. There were tons of plots

to poison him with cyanide and all kinds of assassination plots. They never did it. Never could pull it off. There was always some bullshit mistake. It seemed like the guy dropped the cyanide capsule and it shattered because it was frozen or something. They tried to contaminate his clothing with thallium salts

so that his beard would fall out. And they tried spraying a broadcasting studio with hallucinogens before televised speech. Some of these are kind of funny. Yeah. This is the stuff that our government's been doing for decades and decades. These are the ones

that didn't work out that we found out. They placed explosive seashells by his favorite diving spots. This is like the laugh track of our government espionage. Just imagine what the bloopers are this is the america's funniest home videos version of what they've been doing and there has to be a lot

more nefarious shit yeah you know there's plenty of plots we're like yeah yeah we just we put a bomb on a fucking eagle and then we put a microchip in the eagle's brain and then we flew it into the school like we call it an eagle bomb. You might think that sounds insane. During World War II, they had this idea. They were going to do this to the Japanese. They were going to attach thermite to bats and release them over Japan during the daytime

so they would all quickly roost inside buildings, and then the thermite would go off later in the bamboo and wood structures that most Japanese made their homes out of that is very creative they yeah yeah that's that's a true story they try i they tried to do it i don't think they accomplished it but at the time firebombing was all the rage and in case you don't know firebombing isn't just setting a city on fire you have to look at the weather patterns and plan it out for days in advance, weeks in advance and find the right scenario to do

a proper firebombing of a city. They did it to the Germans. The right climate, yeah. So it's windy enough to spread the fire and cause maximum destruction. You don't want to waste a bunch of expensive bombs for no reason. So we did it several times and we burnt you know, we talk about the Hiroshima

and Nagasaki with 100,000 people getting taken out by two bombs but they gloss over the like tens and tens of thousands of Japanese and Germans whose cities we fire bombed and just burn them all up. That's why we didn't bomb Tokyo. It was already done. Yeah it was done there. I got a question. I like

this one too. Hi. I'm a Song of Fire and Ice book reader. Inevitably some storylines in the game of thrones have taken pass other than the books i want to know what you think especially taylor about sansa marrying ramsay gray worm and selmy getting attacked and possibly killed so does sansa marry ramsay does that happen in the book? I get so confused when I listen to the books. I don't believe so. Doesn't she marry Roose?

Alright, so without giving any I feel like we're getting kind of spoiler heavy here. But... So in the book... We're going to ruin this. So in the book, Roose Bolton is married to to Walter Frey's Walter Frey's granddaughter, who's huge.

I used to know her name. But Roose Bolton in the books, not Roose Bolton, Ramsay Bolton, his bastard son who's been made whole by the king, is married to a woman in the north who's like a noble woman whose husband has already died. And I remember Sir Roderick thought she was hot,

but was like way too embarrassed to talk to her or anything. Well, Ramsay took her and married her and fucked her like when nobody was looking. And now like he took, like he basically took her lands and her castle.

Like he took over her shit by doing that. So, but in the show we're seeing now and I don't know if it's going to happen or not but they're saying that Ramsay is going to marry Sansa Stark meanwhile in the show it seemed like they were shipping off some girl who just happened to look

like Arya up to the north to marry someone remember that in the book they found an Arya look alike it wasn't yeah wasn't Arya lookalike? It wasn't, yeah. Wasn't Arya someone who looked like her? Yeah.

So, I guess the question is how do we feel about them diverging? I like it, I think. They have to diverge. They don't have a choice. These stories are so in-depth and incredibly dense that unless you cut a few corners, you simply can't make it as a TV show without going into 30 seasons

where all the characters are 51 years old. If they did 20 episodes a season, and they should, that would be great. And then we could have Strong Bell Ross and we could have... Strong Bell Ross! Strong Bell Ross! That guy was awesome. He's great. I like Strong Bell Ross. We could have all of theoss and we could have um strong bell strong that guy was awesome he's great

i like that we have all of the battles and the war scenes that they keep cutting out but in the end i think it's going to come down to budget and uh and how many more years this thing's going to go on and i think it's only going to go on for like two more maybe three more seasons and then that's it they said it right isn't it straight up too much they haven't said it but they've given they've kind of suggested it okay uh but i like that they're shifting away because for one thing it produces some new content it's a different storyline i'm gonna read the books eventually the show doesn't have to match up with the books as long as we kind of get to the same place in the end basically doesn't really matter how we get there i think the book has oftentimes, or the show oftentimes finds more entertaining ways to get from point A to point B.

The book is the official record. It's the thing that the mages read, right? The guys with the thing, the necklaces, the cloaks. They're stored away. They're crispy, whatever. And some people know their contents, but not everybody. But it's the real in-depth detailed story of what actually happened the show is the songs right the songs that the bards tell

that the acts of bravery and the entertaining sort of reader's digest version of the the story and they're both entertaining and fun I'm glad they exist I stole it I got it somewhere I love the second episode of this season when Brienne gets in that sword fight out on the road and she just swings and like shatters

the other guy's sword and then like slices him and then stabs him through the throat that was great I love that her sword just cuts through other guy's sword and then slices him and then stabs him through the throat. That was great. I love that her sword just cuts through other people's swords and that she's strong enough to do it. I really like Brienne. That was great. In the books, they really

talk about the swords a lot. She might have the coolest sword in the show that's not magical in some way. Her sword is half of Ned Stark's sword, the bigger half that's been reforged. But when they reforged it for some reason, it did something that

Valyrian steel has never done before. And it turned all dark red and black with stripes in it instead of the standard Valyrian steel. They split it to make her sword or not her sword, but one sword and then Joffrey's sword, right? Yeah.

So she's got what I think is the coolest non-magical sword in the whole show. I like Stinger too. Or Needle. Needle, I'm sorry. I like Needle. I think that's Lord of the Rings. I like Lightbringer. That's Sting.

I like Lightbringer. Glides blue and orcs on the air. Fucking Stannis Baratheon's sword glows orange and red and like fire when anyone's around. They don't really show it off in the show, but Stannis Baratheon

has a fucking magical sword called Lightbringer that was like some sort of prophecy sword and the motherfucker glows when you take it out of the scabbard. It glows well enough to light the whole room. But we don't get that in the show for some reason. So he's probably got the coolest sword.

On this show there's hardly any magic. I mean there's no... I can't even think of any magic on the show yet. I like the limiting of magic in TV shows and movies and stuff because I like Lord of the Rings where Gandalf is this super powerful wizard, but he's not constantly being like, oh, we're in a troubled spot. Let me use my key wizardry to make a new key. liked about lord of the rings instead of harry potter which harry potter was just a bunch of ridiculous loopholes and then anytime there was a problem it was aha i have my special spell just for now and it's like all right that's lazy whereas lord of the rings it's like all right

he's a strong wizard but he has to actually do physical shit to accomplish this task not to say one's definitively better than the other but i appreciate the lack of magic in favor of better story writing instead of just you know get out of jail free cards what's that there's a moment where like gandalf and um um legolas i think i think it's the part where they're i think it's the part where they're on that that snowy mountain and the and the storm snows coming down really bad and it's right before they decide to go through the mountain yeah um and there's a part where they they have a quote where legolas says something to um uh gandalf to the nature of like if we had a more powerful wizard maybe he would just stop the storm

and legolas says and gandalf says something back to him that's really witty and funny, like a cut at the elves or something, and I can't remember what it is. Yeah, I remember it was he said, if you guys weren't a bunch of effeminate faggots, this war would have been won by now. I'm like 80% sure. It's really good.

He's like, if we had a more powerful wizard perhaps he would just stop the snow as it falls, and he's like, perhaps if we had a more powerful wizard, perhaps he would just stop the snow as it falls. And he's like, perhaps if we had a better dwarf, you'd just shut the fuck up. He said something funny to him. I can't remember what he said. It was a good quote. It's not in the movie. But getting back to Game of Thrones, I guess I'm glad because we can't have 20 episodes a year. We're only getting 10 episodes a year.

because we can't have 20 episodes a year. We're only getting 10 episodes a year. These actors are going to die eventually and get old and grow beyond their being able to do these characters appropriately. Or just like Bran, they'll hit puberty like a fucking freight train and then be indistinguishable from his former self a year earlier.

He has changed drastically. He really has. Oh, really? And he's not in the show this year. Is that right? Yeah, for some reason. And where the hell is Stoneheart in all this? They have cut her right on out, it seems.

He's coming. I'm like 12 hours into the book, something like that. I need to look at my 10 and a half. She's the first two hours of the book. If she doesn't show up in this season, I'm going to be really, really pissed. Me too. I've been telling everybody I know,

I'm like, there's something coming. And it might be crazier than anything that's happened yet. Yeah, Liz Stoneheart is hard as fuck. She's awesome. Oh, that's right. I remember you saying she's in the first two hours. I was like, what about it? And now I remember her.

I don't know what she's... Or at the end of the last book, maybe. It's either in like the last... She's in the end of the last book. Is she in the fourth book? Not yet, but I'm only... I'm not even as far as you are. Oh, good, good, good. Yeah, because I was getting a little confused there. I am... I'm pretty

deep into the fourth book now. Let me see. I think she's only like in the epilogue of the fourth book. Oh, third book. Of the third book. She's in the epilogue of the third book. Yep. And then, Margaret, is she going to come back at all? Fourth book, I don't remember.

Honestly, fourth book was a bit of a struggle just because they introduced so many new characters. A lot of characters. I was just kind of breezing through it they introduced so many new characters i just i was just kind of breezing through it like come on get me back to terry and get me back to aria get me back to the people only do they introduce a lot of new characters but i want to say this the tv show diverges from the book more than ever before so i don't have that like structure that really helps me yeah sink it back up and it's going to continue to be that way throughout this whole season because i believe doesn't book four run concurrent to book three as far as like the actual

game of thrones timeline goes they're just concurrent i don't think so and i say that because aside from aria there's like like the aria for example is getting her training. There's a lot of shit going on with Endor. They're consecutive. Book three leads to book four. They're reacting to the Viper's death. No, I think we're pretty current.

They certainly don't run along the same timeline. Three and four are definitely concurrent. One happens. Because Arya's timeline is going. Tyrion's timeline is moving. The Khaleesi's timeline is moving because aria's timeline is going tyrian's timeline is moving the calise's timeline is moving john snow's timeline is moving yeah yeah john snow interesting stuff's going on john snow i i uh um i know some stuff about snow and i know i think i'm learning stuff about uh the grayjoys that you haven't seen yet, Kyle. I figured out who Jon Snow's mother was a book or so ago,

and I don't think you figured that one out yet. We probably shouldn't talk about it too much on the show. I didn't claim to figure it out myself, but I've seen the R plus L equals J. There you go. Yeah, yeah. I've been clued into that for a while now, i just didn't like get it from the book really i must oh man there's a through that or something they you not literally slept but fast forwarding i'm not sleeping but like sometimes it's just like what the fuck is it with all these names and especially

like these are dead characters these aren't like storylines that we're really following but um i guess i kind of remember them talking about it but yeah so there's one moment when the calise is at like the house of the undying i think and she's having these whole all these flashbacks and and they're telling these are things that she drank the thing and went through the area and had to keep turning right through the doors yeah an area where she's there looking at the baby in the crib. That's a big key into this whole thing. You just got to listen to the audio in that part maybe twice, and you'll really get it down, like who everyone is in that scene.

Because she's seeing things that were, things that happened in the past, things that are happening now across the world, and things that have yet to happen. And things that are happening now across the world and things that have yet to happen and things that will never happen because you know she sees i love when she saw like uh what her son uh drogon or what was his name yeah but whatever his name was going to be uh the stallion who mounts the world like she sees him in the future and he's got like a banner that's half uh it's like a it's like a stallion with like uh the fiery dragons or something it's like a mixture of her standard and drogo's standard and he's like you know burning castles down in westeros and that was because drogo didn't wear

a band-aid when he got cut on the chest yes you fucking actually up he pushed into it and in fact she will take you down exactly kyle's got it received differently in the uh in the uh um in the book in the book better in the show it was a blood writer you know it was someone else's blood writer had sliced him and he was just oh it's a scratch meanwhile his nipples hanging off it's like what the fuck man maybe you should get some medical attention don't you think it was better in the show though that's one aspect i think yeah oh dude that's one of the here he just kind of like shrugs into it like i don't give a fuck did you notice that i'm six five and terrifying have you noticed that yet the shrug was cool i noticed that and i liked it but the best part about that scene is what he says like this guy's like come on let's fight

let's do this and he's just like when i'm done with you the crows are gonna eat the maggots from your belly and like he's just like disrobing he's like taking his own weapons off he's like i don't need my sword or my daggers i don't need this and meanwhile the other guy's like like getting ready to have this sword fight and he's just not taking it seriously at all he's like he's like the rain will pour down on the holes that were your eyeballs and he's like continues to get ready and so he gets like all like he he finishes all of his vicious things to the point that he's like after this i'm gonna eat a pulled pork sandwich after this i'm just gonna go for a quiet walk after that like just he was like a wwe star he was getting so hyped up about the fight

that was coming he was like and the rain will pour down from the sky just like rain does that yeah and and finally of course you know he just takes the guy out like it's nothing but he gets that fuck he loses his nipple or whatever infection sets in and get let that witch work on him and that was the end i'm looking forward to the next uh whenever i get to see new episodes i recently rewatched episode the fifth episode i uh i really hope um that they do something with um stoneheart if that's what you're calling her i i didn't know that's what she was called until you guys kind of clued me in on that but we all know who i'm talking about i want i want some semblance that she's there i want more magic uh too much magic and you lose all respect for the show but this is a show that needs a little more like just a little more dragons there's a lot of magic in the books there's magic everywhere and a lot of it it's not significant

to the storyline but there's hints of magic that make you think great things could come, right? Pyromancers climbing ladders in the air made of fire. I forget. The wall, the big wall on the north that Jon Snow is guarding

and stuff is encoded with magic. There's magic holding together. Is it Dragonstone? I forget. All the castles that seem to have stuck around have some sort of magic walls that help them protect themselves. Against other magic and such.

Against other magic and maybe dragons or something. I don't know. There's lots of magic. The swords tend to be more magic. But it's still basically the same show but just the fact that like we need magic to protect these walls from the ocean gods is like oh so magic's a thing here it's a factor that you get to sort of play with and get excited about whereas in the show there's there's just really no magic all right we got to get our cameras back yeah i i like how limited they've been with magic but now it's about time

that they get it up and running like more magic more dragons one thing i do like about this season is you just see how little control khaleesi has over her dragons at this point where she has to go down into that dungeon and you know face them for the first time in months because they've been burning kids alive or some shit and when she goes down there it's not like these dragons are like oh mother you know you're finally here it's like they're pissed at her they're like are you shitting me chick you're like you call yourself the mother of dragons do you think we're retarded we're dragons we know that you're like a 15 year old girl like do you not realize that like we're not happy about being

down here and i like that that whole thing with barris and selmy and gray worm uh i can only imagine that they're gonna be okay but uh because i't know if they die in the books or whatever. I hope they... Grey Worm's not in the book, so kill him. Grey Worm is in the book. Who am I messing up? Oh, is his girlfriend not in the book? No, she's there too. Yeah, she's there too.

I read they weren't in the book. I don't even know what her name is. But Grey Worm is in the book. You're right. She's in the book. She's nine years old, so no romance. Nice. Yeah, I don't know why I said they weren't. I said they weren't in the book she's nine years old so no romance nice i don't know why i said they weren't i said they were in the book because i read it somewhere else and then i clearly remember we know better now though yeah yeah um yeah now someone i don't know i don't know

i'm a vaccine what that was a great scene whenever barris and Selmy shows up, I was like, oh, shit, this is going to be epic. Because, like, okay, these guys are great fighters, right? But I felt like he was walking into certain death, but did it anyway for honor. And that's a neat thing to me. He's like, well, this guy's clearly fucked, but I'm not going to let him be fucked here by himself. I'll give it a go. Oh, yeah, he'd never run oh no he would never i got a 100 shot of getting out of this better than that he he probably thought

he was gonna be fine i love that comment he had like whenever they were at the walls of marine and they had to fight the champion in the in the show he says i have more single more single combats than any man living khalisi and. And you're like, oh, shit. That's saying something. You've got more single combat victories than any man living? That is saying something. And it's kind of twofold because you've got to be really fucking old to keep counting them up.

But also, you've got to be pretty badass to survive more than one or two. And just the whole show and throughout the books, they talk about what a badass this old guy is sir barriston selmy's the shit and then he just goes wading into those gold mass people like like he cut the one from like crotch to shoulder and blood whatever that was great that like upswing it was like a shovel motion where he just gutted the man alive it was great uh so i really enjoyed that uh i felt like it could have gone on a little more. I felt like I could have used a little, maybe add about five more guys to that.

Let him kill two or three more. I've enjoyed that. I like that sword fight a lot. There hasn't been enough violence for me lately. I think they cut back on the sex a bit. I feel like in the first, what is it, four seasons of Game of Thronesones there was more sex than there is in the fifth season well they cut off a lot of dicks between then and now so that does slow

things that's another thing i'm wondering if they're going to go back to theon at any point uh or in the books i guess i'm wondering if they're going to go back to theon i'm a little lost about that because they haven't they haven't said anything about Theon. We just heard at one point they brought his finger skin to Catelyn Stark. But, you know, obviously that was before the wedding and all. That was pretty far back. That's the last I heard out of Theon in the books. So I'm wondering what's going to happen with him because I'm interested in him.

I'm wondering if he's dead in the books or what the deal is. Yeah, I'm wondering what's going to happen with him because I'm interested in him. I'm wondering if he's dead in the books or what the deal is. Yeah, I'm pretty excited. I'm excited about what's happening with the Greyjoys. They've got an interesting dilemma in front of them. Well, I saw that Balon, I guess, got swept from the ramparts or from that bridge or whatever,

and now it seemed like... Is it Usher or Asha? Which one is it? There's two different. And it's different in the show so... Usher with the O is supposed to be

Theon's sister, right? And Asha is supposed to be the wildling that's with Bran, right? Maybe? I think so. Or it could be inverted. It sounds like Asher in the book to me. I'm not reading it. Well, Greyjoy's daughter, the super badass chick,

like where I am in the books, she's sort of rallying the power around her. Meanwhile, the crow, whatever they call him, the one-eyed crow or whatever, the uncle of hers who had been away forever uh you know he's kind of taking the throne isn't that viserion no viserion's the other uncle well there's the the uncle who's the priest now who's like always drowning people and shit and then there's the uncle who had been away forever who had

it'd been like a couple years because balon grayjoy had told him if he came back he was it meant death and uh his his ships like called like he's got like a cool ship it's like black and red uh like black sails they call it the whisperer some crazy shit i don't know should we wrap up game of thrones talk i know some people like it yeah probably so uh on house talk i going to sleep here for the first time ever. Oh, wow. Is everybody here asleep? No, actually. So I wanted to move in yesterday, and that might have been too ambitious,

you know, as far as getting it all set up and stuff. So we changed it to today. And then somehow along the way, Jackie's like i can't get it all done etc and i'm like i gotta get done and then just in terms of loading the trailer you want lots of weight towards the front of it or it gets unstable and stuff so i brought the fridge and uh i'm like whatever but the thing is i'm here till what 2 a.m i'll probably be up till 3 a.m with all the uploading and such. So I'm going to sleep here tonight. The rest of the family is going to be in Apex.

And then tomorrow we're all here for good. It's not that set up. Like, you know, the beds aren't going to be here for another week. So we're like, we have like mattresses on the ground and stuff like that. But I'm just kind of done with traveling here all the time and such. Like I wanted, I was like, Jackie, let's flip the script, you know, let's live in Raleigh and then run back when we need stuff and start getting that thing ready instead of, you know,

it seems like every time we're here, we're out of time, you know, we're here. It's whatever too, but we have to get hope in, you know, we have to leave in half an hour to get her from school or whatever and uh like i'm tired of never like having any time at this new house i want to live here i was excited like i go downstairs to get water and i'm like ah yeah this is like actually my real life now yeah that's cool i know exactly what you're talking about that's uh that's great that's awesome like because there's a transitional period and finally you're like this is where my water comes from that's the refrigerator that's where all my food is yeah you know it becomes your home uh pretty quickly once you get your

you know all the things that make up your daily life there you know when you're brushing your teeth at that place when you're pooping at that place when that's where your your food comes from then it's your place yeah yeah it feels like every time I'm here, I had to run. It was like, I'm here now, but I've got to go get hope from school. I'm here now, but I've got to go do this other thing. Or my computer was in Apex, and there are a lot of tasks, like live streams or PKA recordings or whatever, that need to be done from Apex.

So it seemed like I was always rushing to be there because of either work or family obligations or something. And now all those things, all those like ties that make you have to be somewhere make me have to be here in my new place. And that's exciting to me. I'm looking forward to seeing that room become its whole self. I'm sure you've got plenty of ideas

and uh and plans for it now that's my um golden play button on the ground back there okay i'm gonna put that on the wall somewhere yeah that'll be good i'm looking forward to seeing the place all dressed up yeah i feel it and i'm just like just doing this show in here and you guys can hear the echo it bothers me a lot um it's not that bad at all okay but i it's like all right we need to get some window dressings in here we need to get some you know canvas paintings or there's something to kill the echo that i got cooking yeah we'll get it sorted out well you want to call it there yeah i think that works i know has to get to his uh stripper job in like three minutes or something. Yes.

He's waiting. I like it. All right. Good night, all. Painkiller ready, 227. Good night. Bye.