Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #231

Episode Date: May 28, 2015

This week on PKA, friend of the show Anthony Cumia joins the guys again and they all review the footage of last week's show with Taylor & Melissa, Kyle recounts stories from his car salesman days and some AMA questions get answered!

We're live, Painkiller already, episode 231 with our guest, Anthony Cumia. Hi. Welcome back. Thanks for having me back. Love you guys. Always fun to hang out. Yeah. This episode, of course, being brought to you by Patreon this week.

Patreon, if you're not aware of it, there's a link down below. You can go to our Patreon page. You can sign up. You can subscribe to it. And for as little as $5 a month, you get early access to PKA. You get it as soon as we record it. Sometimes we record things uh very early in the week and you actually get it three four days early that's rare but you all you'll always get it as soon as it's uh available and you get the video and the audio of course and for ten dollars you get early access to pkn that's a

week earlier than anyone else and you get in video format which is only available through the patreon and of course you get to submit your own ama, which we're going to get to a little bit later tonight. So go check it out. You know, sign up. Find the package that works for you. Help for $500. You can come play video games with us. Yeah, we had that recently.

That was cool. Yeah, it worked out pretty well. He got a lot of mileage out of his money, I think. We played for him for, like, the required hour or whatever it was. And then he stuck around and streamed with Woody for a couple hours, I think. Yeah, it was a good time. It worked out really well. So, yeah, so good stuff.

Anyway, check out Patreon. Rumor is that people who contribute to Patreon are taller, thinner, sexier, and get laid a lot. We've been trying to get wings on the program for a while. He refused. Low blow. I don't care um do we want to hit up our first topic of this week i think we do i mean i'm just i'm just so jazzed about it i'm so ready to roll right here i love this first topic we've got a video to accompany it now i'm not sure how to introduce this thing i think the video sort of speaks itself. So maybe we should all just queue up at zero. Yeah.

This thing and enjoy it for what it is. It's only a minute or so long. So what we do here is we click on the link and then pause it at zero. Oh, okay. And then we'll count down and all hit play together. I suggest you mute it. The audio doesn't really have much to do with what we're talking about. It's more of a visual thing.

So Taylor, Kyle, you ready? Yep. Anthony, are you ready also? I hope so. I hope Rat is. I need to make sure I'm sharing this properly. I am sharing this properly. All right, are we ready?

Set, play. Our fans suspect that Taylor is getting a handjob during the last show. You be the judge. So what you need to do is focus on the third box there and Taylor's loving looks over at his girlfriend. And perhaps her hand sort of moving a lot. Yeah, but we'll get better views. I'm over here showing like lawnmower footage. It's really not that interesting.

But God, these two are sharing a laugh and stealing looks at each other. Wait, I want to see it. Look at her. Very incriminating arm movements there. She's so guilty. I hope Amity is seeing this. And there, look. Look at the paws.

Here. That's not lawnmower talk right those two are doing their own show and and here it's coming so watch your arm what is with the incriminating arm movements there i feel like she just moved your entire body but using your dick as a handle i like how the person that edited this did white text on a solid black background like he's suspecting me of a crime like I'm in on 9-11 how solid this is

look at the username oh I didn't even scroll oh what are you bastard oh wait username I think I missed the username thing it's you oh nah but check out the replay on this Oh wait, username? I think I missed the username thing. It's you! Oh, nah. But check out the replay on this.

She's blinking. They're kind of playing it off. He seems really happy. We're talking about how heavy my gun is during this. It's not that great, but he's loving it. He rubs her back. She had to help me get through that. She had to help me get through the lawnmower talk

the heavy gun talk just the mind numbingly don't give a five topics all right so what was going on there then that's what yeah so what was actually happening there can you can you give us a better play-by-play yeah yeah uh well you know how those things go. I've done a wife Wednesday or two. Carry on. Yeah, so realistically, like all the comments I was reading in the PKA Reddit, it was all just them talking about it like it was me just getting furiously masturbated under the table. Like everyone's like, oh, did you notice this?

Did you notice that? Just look at her arm right there. So how would you describe it then? Was it just a gentle, like, thumbing? Was that what was going on there? Was there any lube involved? Realistically, it was, what do they call it in sex ed? A little bit of heavy petting.

Oh. A little heavy petting. Fondling. Fondling. Mm-hmm. Yes, some fondling. And there was a little going on, but at no point there any any climax or anything like people i saw people uh suspecting that like oh well he's holding himself together pretty well or oh he got up to

clean his pants off and they just thought i just sat there and come for like an hour i'm like what kind of weird experience maybe at some point you just finished all over the bottom part of your shirt yeah and i just and i just decided oh i'd love to hear about how heavy woody lawnmower is for the fuck so i'll stick around and sit in this soup for a while but no there's no finishing effect it was just a little bit of fun to get through the boring how unprofessional of you i would never do such a thing on this show ever and you certainly haven't done it before before you added video absolutely when you go back and listen to yours you can hear bracelets jingling you didn't even ever take bracelets off that was her necklace she was doing anyway that's neither here nor there i thought it was funny i didn't catch i didn't

notice anything we were doing the show or anything me Me neither. I saw the comments and it drew me in. I was like, yes, there's some funny business going on here. I first saw it. I'm sorry I cut you off. I apologize. I first saw it on the PKA subreddit. And I was like, this is horseshit. Like, nah.

And then they're giving the timestamps. And I'm like, whoa. They're totally right. This happened. Merkur was getting handies on this show. They're calling it Inflategate all across the internet. That's a great name for it. That's a very good name for it.

But realistically, it was not as extreme as they're making it. I almost wish it was. It would be funnier to be like, yeah, finish three times, sat in it for the sake of the show, right, guys? But no. No, it wasn't that extreme, but it was still sake of the show right guys but no no it wasn't that extreme but it was still pretty funny all right oh it looks like we just lost anthony for a sec hopefully he makes it back yeah but yeah i'm sure he's got his tech people were even saying like it got so into it because i

i just kept refreshing that uh where that was like murica gets a handy on the show just kept refreshing that going back and seeing the comments and it went from like oh my god to a couple people at the very bottom like doing that like i know more than you like it couldn't possibly be that look at the amount of movement and and the duration and the angle like stuff like that but the real incriminating part when like was the gif they showed where you could see because her arm was kind of obfuscated behind this i was like a different angle the other week and you could see her skin just kind of move past it over here where she just clearly had her hand in my lap and not her own so overall i rated that as a fun episode very fun top 10 for for merker personally so anthony welcome back we uh hi yeah i i don't know

what happened a little technical glitch but uh we just showed the video evidence of taylor getting a hand job last week on the show i uh i wasn't able to see the video unfortunately we were we were working that out but i i kind of grasped when I grasp, but I, I sort of picked up on what was going on and, uh, it sounds like a great, like you said, a great episode. Yeah. I'm going to need to call in that more often, you know, just a little, but she's not a guest. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just sit next to me and you know, three minute increments. Nothing wrong with that. I just had Kendra.

You know that college girl, Kendra, that kind of got naked on a webcam at the library at her school? She's in Penthouse this month or something. Whoever buys these things anymore. This is so alien now. anymore. This is so alien now. But she was today doing the show and we did it from the

jacuzzi. First I had her and of course Ari Shafir was playing part of Cockblocker today. We had Ari the comedian on. But then we went into the jacuzzi and she got naked and it was uh it was pretty

awesome she got topless did she get fully naked well um she she had her bottoms kind of pulled down a tad bit i was able to see stuff all right yeah that counts yeah it was pretty off just so you could yeah yeah no bubbles it was the bubble list jacuzzi uh was i want i wanted to say this some 19 year old uh cam girl uh but man just it's just creepy i understand look at the two of us and we're like yes you do like you cam up and it's fun. It just got really creepy. Yeah, those losers are on the internet. Can you believe that? Those guys.

Look at me. I'm with a hot chick. Yeah, I just felt really creepy. But having a girl like that in the jacuzzi, topless and whatnot, it bypasses creepiness. You don't care how creepy it is. It's how you know that – You're old enough to be her dad, but not just her dad. You're old enough to be her dad's older brother, and not just older brother.

The brother that when he was born in 65, then they had the other kid in 78. That's how old you are. That's exactly it. And I think she was aware of that. But guys her age are not buying her things. We can at least buy expensive things for these girls. Yeah, when that's your day at work, you know you've made a series of good career decisions. Yeah, yeah, you know, I mean, she was in school.

She decided to drop out and become a cam girl, and I can't argue with that, you know. No, it seems financially way more lucrative, I would assume. Way more lucrative, and of course, there's so much more longevity in this than there is in a sound, valid education. There's, you know, tens of months that people are interested in people that age. Of course.

It's rough, too, on the girl's side. Like, I don't know. It's so beauty-based, I feel for her, right? There's a 17-year-old right now who's going to be 19 when he knocks her off her 21-year-old platform. She'll be 21, all washed up, career over. Right now, she's practicing in her garage. Right. Best whore out there.

Yeah. Doing rocky montages of handjobs through boys' locker rooms. doing rocky montages of hand jobs through boys locker rooms. While she's all glitz and showing off and going to Vegas, there's some young whore in her basement working out. Kegeling loudly. Pairing style. Yeah.

So it was kind of fun today to do that, break in the old jacuzzi for the show. The whole house for my show is my set. Like, there's nowhere in the house that can't be used for some kind of set. I just had a – and I saw you guys had Chris Hansen on, huh? Yeah, we did. for certain things. But, you know, it's convenient, though, having a whole house as a set. Yeah, there was... I was pulling up the security cameras,

catching me, pulling up to the house. And then, of course, you got to have the decoy at the door because no to catch a predator is complete without the young decoy. Is it bad if you're attracted to the decoy I know that's why it's a decoy like if the decoy is of age like she's got to have a boyfriend right sick do we just Chris Hansen you to go talk to him after the show I don't think so does he look she looks the part no he's probably in class. It seems to work out. And I decided to do the look around very suspiciously because that's absolutely what happens. And then the the kitchen, the cookies were there, the lemonade. And I brought

a giant bottle of vodka, condoms and I believe some Zima. Good pick on the Zima. Seagram's rainbow drinks. And then Chris Hansen came out. I got to tell you, it is alarming, even though you're doing a sketch, to have Chris Hansen come out there and accuse you of trying to come here to have sex. For you, I read on your transcript you wanted to have sex with an underage girl. That's what I asked. I asked him.

I'm like, do you ever feel sort of embarrassed reading that transcript? He's like, oh, yes. Oh, yes. Because some of the stuff is just so filthy, just absolute filth that you wouldn't even think of. Like the sex acts that the one guy wanted to involve his cat or her cat. And if you could read between the lines, you literally have to because they're blurred. He wanted the cat to eat her pussy. Like that's what he wanted.

Well, we could have just been some clever wordplay that was misconstrued. You know, that is possible. He just like put pussy in too many times. It got all weird. He's in court. He's like, no, your honor, I'm not a sicko. I wanted to eat her pussy. It's not going over well.

On the Opie and Anthony show a few years back, and we took the clips of him reading the transcripts from his show and just played the audio. I saw that. And it was like, Chris, did you say this? And he's like, I would like to take my C and put it in your A. And it's like, Chris, did you say these things? Well, I was reading the transcripts.

But he's an intimidating guy when he's just standing in your kitchen like that. It was a lot of fun, though. He's doing that whole new project where he's funding it himself. Yeah, that's the way things are going now, right? Like so many people are making movies or making remakes of TV shows or, in this case, making TV shows. Just kickstart it, you know, crowdfund it and make it happen. It is pretty cool that the technology is out there now. And, you know's there's a

lot of creative people that probably never would have gotten the nod to do a show or you know music or anything but there's a lot of shit out there too which is I mean you can thank YouTube for Justin Bieber yeah yeah I'd forgotten about that yeah so Anthony I did actually watch that skit you did with Hanson, and I thought the best thing you did out of it was you perfectly nailed the dead look in the eyes as soon as they find out that all of their life, all of their friends, it's all done. It's over. There's no going back.

You're like, oh, man. It must, like, tumble through your mind, like, oh, wow, this is bad. I'm on to it. And then it just gets worse. Like, oh, my job. Oh, my wife. My kids. My freaking boss.

Yeah, you're just like, well, I don't have shit to do tomorrow. Yeah, yeah. This is now your future. You're the pedo guy to catch a predator. Congrats. This just freed up my next 18 to 20. So that's great. Yeah. Yeah. Just terrible. crats this just freed up my next 18 to 20 so that's great yeah yeah just terrible uh i just

getting over that whatever's going around freaking aids it's terrible been hacking like um a tuberculosis you're in california new york new york oh yeah then it would be yeah i think that's new york back here I don't know. It's just switch it every city. I figured I'd do something real original and put a cityscape behind me. No one's done that before. Did anyone see David Letterman's last show? Not yet.

Not yet. I'll probably catch it at some point. Yeah, I saw that he had a ton of people on there at the very last one. And I watched a few of the clips. I saw tina fey i saw bill murray i saw stern um it was uh did tina fey come on again or did you see her from a few days original thing oh yeah when she took her clothes off you know it's yeah it's this this last week really this last two weeks has kind of been a a big thing over there so that's been cool to see. I really like Tina Fey. Like, I have a feeling that if I knew her in real life, she'd be super cool. Looks better with the clothes on. Oh, that's not fair.

I thought she looked just fine. She had Spanx on. Do you ever notice the scar on her face? Sure. Do you know where that came from? I read her autobiography. That's crazy. Some fucking psycho walked up into her yard when she was a kid playing and just cut her face and ran away.

Yeah. How insane is that? That's like something from a Stephen King movie. She was playing in her front yard like a sweet little girl. I want to say she was really young, like five or nine or something like that. And, yeah, someone just walked up, cut her face. It's a shame. Yeah, the Missouri Face Slasher just out of nowhere cutting kids all that he wanted

he didn't he wasn't trying to use her as a hostage or he just walked up and thought ah this is something to do tuesday afternoon maybe she ratted him out the mark of the squealer give her the mark wow that's that's a tough thing man for a kid why would yeah did they catch him i don't think so yeah no i don't think they caught him. You know, realistically, that's probably an easy thing to get away with if it's just a kid hanging out in the front yard. I mean, they're not going to catch you. You're pretty fast.

Especially back then. They probably just went, ah, put some ice on it. She'll be fine. Yeah, rub a little dirt in there. She hates talking about it. Yeah. She goes through all the conversations that people have in her autobiography. There's the people who say, oh, that's awful.

What a shame. And she's like, that makes me feel like I look awful. And then there's the people, the edgy ones, who say, I think it makes you look distinctive. And she's like, that's how I know they're liars. There's no right way that you can talk about it. She goes through the litany in her autobiography. Don't talk about it. She goes through the litany in her autobiography and it's, yeah. Don't talk about it. That is like a condescending thing to say to someone with like an eye patch

or a severe deformity. Like, makes you look distinguished. Like, oh, so you could pick me out of a crowd easily because of my disfigurement. If you need to describe me to authorities you can write what to go to, huh? Great, great. Oh, totally fucked up in this region. That sketch artist would waste no time. She's got a super villain scar on her face, I think.

You know what, though? She pulls it off. She's very attractive. People seem to have gotten used to it. Is that a bad thing to say? Hey, Tina, people got used to it. There's nothing nice you can say about it. No.

I didn't even know. I never noticed. Dude, every character she's ever played I thought was super cool, which implies to me that she might be too. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. I don't know. She seems cool.

John Wayne Gacy was a clown, though. That's true. He was. Seems like a nice thing to be. Yeah. Not at this point in time. He ruined Clowns. Well, I think Clowns are on their way out anyway.

You know they're remaking It, and the Joker's got a new... There's going to be a new Joker. I think Clowns are coming back in. Do you really consider the Joker a clown, though? He's kind of a lunatic. I know he's supposed to be kind of a clowny thing, but... Well, It really isn't a clown.

He's some sort of demon, right? Like a jester more than a clown. Yeah, yeah. He doesn't have the bulbous nose or the goofy. He doesn't have the jester's hat with bells either. Pennywise is definitely a clown. That's a fucking clown with the nose and the clowny makeup and stuff. But I've just never found them entertaining.

The circus. clowny makeup and stuff but uh i've just never found them entertaining i i i the the circuit i was just watching a uh patten oswald special from like 2011 and he does a great bit about the circus and how just archaic and why are we still having circuses now and it makes perfect sense they're the first of all they're just i think they're just boring. And to have that type of just animal abuse going on. And don't get me wrong. I love hunting and hunters and things like that. But just, you know, does an elephant really have to be shackled and paraded around? I feel bad for those elephants. For entertainment.

I mean, just CGI the shit, for God's sake. I have a friend who's trying. I've ridden one, too. I have a friend who's trying to join the circus right now. What? Is your friend a vagabond from 1919? Right? So let me explain.

He took a dirigible to New York. He's not really my friend, although I do like the guy. He's like a family friend. So my wife and I are friends with like this other couple, and they have two boys. And one of their boys is like 19 or something and that guy's trying to join the circus he's always been athletic he's like totally and he was like a parkour coach and stuff like that and he got accepted into circus school or he I thought they popped the champagne on that night. It's a bunch of coils and springs. I can't believe it.

Mom, Dad, I got in Princeton, Yale, circus school. So I don't want to join in the teasing, although I've had these thoughts. I know this person, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't. We can say it. I'm sorry. His parents are really sane and

nice and you would find them lovely i promise dad is like a computer programmer mom is an author and uh and then their kid went to college and in the first semester it didn't work out i don't even know the details on that so ever since then he's been trying to follow his dream of joining the circus and you have majors in clown school? I don't know. What he really wants to do is circus... I'm going to pronounce it wrong. Circus Olay? Cirque du Soleil?

Say it lower. Cirque du Soleil. I always say Cirque du Soleil. I feel like I'm leaving out half of the letters. Taylor nailed it. Didn't he just say Cirque du Soleil? No, he didn't. Cirque circus ole no he did it's circ is different yeah circus ole and that's different than like a regular circus that's kind of this weird european uh sorry trashy kind of swinging around and flying there's someone died

from then that last year there's no animals in Cirque du Soleil. Feet drop. And everyone's just kind of like a, I don't know, like a not everyday gymnast, you know? This is a gymnast, but he works with ribbons. This is a gymnast, but he, like, stands on top of balls like an elephant or something. Wait, there's no animals in Cirque du Soleil? Nah. Why would you even go to a circus if you couldn't see some monkeys?

It's not a circus. Well, it's kind of a circus. I think it's a French circus or something. Is it circus or cirque? The French word for circus? Yeah, it's like, well, cirque is the circle, you know, a circle, and then

desoleil of the sun. It's like some type of... so it has nothing to do with like that type of circus it's this very artsy yeah there's like ribbons suspended from the ceiling and people roll themselves up in it and fly around and it's all very artsy yeah yeah but the the athletes are so incredible it'll make you question if you're gay or not. Yeah, yeah, they're very athletic. But we're talking about, like, lion tamers, whips, like, dumbos out there, a tear rolling down his cheek, that kind of shit.

We're talking about circuits. An orangutan. An American circuit. Yeah, there's a dumbo with an orangutan's feet, like, bolted to its back, making it, like, juggle balls around. They'll make the lion, like, all, like, stand on the drums and shit. Bears bleeding from the whip marks across their back riding bicycles. You know, every now and then, my favorite circus videos, I'm not gonna lie, are the ones that basically turn into when animals attack.

Yes! Everything's going great and the elephant won't fucking put his foot up there, so they're poking him with that spiky- What they do to train the elephants, they hit them where they're sensitive. That's like the backs of their feet I think they got it was a sensitive spot there and they had this long pokey hook thing and they'll hook it and like hook it really hard and like Stab him basically and I just remember them like hooking this elephant over and over he wouldn't put his foot on the thing and finally

He was just like fuck this shit little man and just Grabs him and slams him on the ground start stomping him real good And that's that's the only reason I would. Those are my favorite street fight videos too, right? Like there's some skinny guy who's been abused and you can tell he gets bullied all the time and then he's finally like, and it just beats the hell out of the bully.

I do like a good elephant rampage, but it really is, when I watch some of those, I'm like, how hard could it be to out like this an elephant? Like, they're very big. I know they're powerful and can be fast, but I think a couple of zigzags and you're around them. Like, he's not. He's up there. He can't get away from us. Yeah, yeah.

Put a bug zigzag around you. Yeah, you kind of throw your arm out this way and run that way. I don't know. Right? You fool him. We go that way and then duck left. Yeah, yeah. And get around.

He can't turn around very fast. You ever see him turn? They're like. I don't know. See, I'm with you, Anthony. I feel like whenever we talk about which animals we can beat up or outwit, I feel like humans are pretty high on the pecking order. But most of these guys are like,

I don't know anything past a ferret and I'm fucked. No, that's not. I mean, so honestly, I think we're giving ourselves too much credit for the elephant. Like that's the same as like if a fucking pug had sentience enough to think, it would look up at us and be like, how quick could it really be?

I mean, it's got two legs twice as many and but really you could run around your legs for a bit but you're going to grab it you're going to catch it that the elephant's gonna fuck you up yeah in terms of elephant i think I'm fucked yes mark to know what if an elephant grabbed a chain with that with

its with its that with this thing and started within the chain that that was flail alone on the end when I have that in Lord of the Rings or a game of thrones they had the moon X those are whatever those were yeah but they just they had the elephants but you know they just had like they needed a whip though that they could like whip with their trunk like give them like crazy trunk range right what is the weapon with the spiked ball on the end of the chain I'm a whale or fail there the end of the chain? A mace. Or flail.

Oh, there are a few. Yeah, okay. The mace is just the ball, right? You put spikes on it and it becomes something special. I can't never keep up with this. I love the thought that, like, yeah, I got this big metal ball on the end of a chain, but it's just not enough when I crack someone over the head. Let me put some spikes on it. Yeah, step up our flail game.

Yeah. Do you watch Game of Thrones? That seems like a bad move. You know? Oh, sorry. I don't want to jump in on the game. It could probably hurt you. I mean, I've seen enough people.

And I wonder if in those ancient, oldie times, as many people fucked themselves up with that as you see now with nunchucks. Like, I've never seen a nunchuck video where someone has it and nails themselves in the nuts. Have you seen Lancelot? He was playing and cracked himself

in the skull. Yeah, the difference is with a flail, you get one mistake. Right. So, otherwise you're just got a head full of spikes. Do you watch Game of Thrones, Anthony? I'm not caught up, and I know that's sacrilege to do,

but I don't care. Discuss. I love the show, and I will watch anyway. Well, I guess we won't spoil the show or anything for you, but we will. Let me tell you what part I'm up to. A kid was pushed out the window and broke his

back or something. Oh, like eight minutes into episode one? You started an episode! But he'll be okay, I think. I don't know. No, I'm fine. Don't even sweat it.

They had just introduced the midget, I believe. Is there a slight gentleman on that show? I just want to say, I think that was their poorest attempt yet. That's the worst episode they've made on every level. The acting and the technical stuff

with the fight choreography was pathetic. And not only that, it's not just that the fight looked pathetic. It's that the idea and the concept of the fight is pathetic. Because you've got Braun, who's a super badass, right? He's cut down four men while they're all in horseback before. He's done all these crazy feats, you know, in the single combat with that knight back at the area.

And all that crazy shit. He's a badass. He's scary. He's the guy that we thought we might send against the mountain that rides. Jamie could have brought anyone. And he chose Braun. He chose Braun. But he gets in a fight with two teenage girls one's got a whip and the other's got a couple of daggers and they're spinning around like they're not even moving their feet like i'm a

better swordsman than these chicks are yeah yeah honestly it looked more like a noodle fight that a bunch of nine-year-olds would have in a pool than a choreographed ever seen one guy in the movies fight 12 ninjas and then there's 11 of them just sort of like jogging in place waiting for their turn that was how it was awful in a show crazy 88 style you need like just coming at you yeah so there was that. And then the whole scene was awful. The rape at the end. It doesn't go like that in the books. No.

They said they were going to start departing from the books. Well, they sure did. Which I got to tell you, I'm a little happy about. Because if I had to hear one more fucking stuffed shirt, tell me. Oh, well, the book. Let me tell you about the book. Shut up. I can stand your Mr. Smarty Pants with your guy,

but I just like tuning in and watching the show. I'm kind of weird. This is going to make it worse, though, because now people are going to be sitting there watching it and be like, well, and actually, actually, this just. Oh, yeah. Let me tell you what happened in the book. Now this is the show. There's a long 20 minute diatribe of all the divergences and different tangents they had in the book that aren't in the show.

There's some major divergences happening, though, like like they're just changing what certain characters are doing. Jamie's supposed to be in the Riverlands doing something. There's a whole Greyjoy storyline that they're just leaving out. Yep, yep. You know, Sons family. And for some reason, Sons is up north getting raped, which we don't need to see, I don't think. Like, it just seems like an unnecessary...

Sons doesn't go up north. It sounds like an easy shocker to just rape her at this point. Like, shouldn't she have cut his dick off? Wouldn't that have been a better scene? I'll tell you what would have been a better scene. If fucking Theon loses his shit at that moment and comes up and just like cuts the guy's throat and the blood sprays all over sansa and he's like there's your red wedding and then they go through the castle killing shit that's what the episode should i've

said this privately before but it and i haven't i haven't read this in the book i'm halfway through book five so if it happens i don't't know. It's not a spoiler. Suck it, Anthony. So anyway... That means he's read at least four other books. Oh my god. There's only five books, which means I'm mostly through them all. Anyway... I get people all mad because I bring up

the Gilligan's Island books. Now the show wasn't very good, but I read the books. The Gilligan's Island books. Now, the show wasn't very good, but I read the books, the Gilligan's Island books. Did they stay true to the books? Anyway, what I'm trying to say is this. Theon Greyjoy, his character gets tortured, and then they make him say that his name is Reek, right?

He has to get rid of his previous identity. My name is Reek. Reek, it rhymes with bleak. It rhymes with meek. It rhymes with whatever. And he chants these things, they kind of like dehumanize him and make him into this servant. I hope that at one point, you know, they're like, what's your name? They always make him say his name is Reek constantly. He says, I am Theon Greyjoy. And he fucking whips out his sword and goes to town. He needs to kill someone. He needs to summon the army of the Iron Isles. He needs to make a thing happen.

He was a douchebag before he got tortured, but he has more than paid for his crimes. It's time to become Theon again. He did burn those two children to death. We didn't even know them! We didn't know them. They were the Miller's children, though. He paid his dues. If you remember the books. You do realize they cut his penis off, right?

That's worth a couple people. He killed the wife and the husband, too. I'm told it was a very good penis. All right, fair enough. Yeah. I'm glad we came to a conclusion. I feel like Game of Thrones is, they better redeem themselves this week, or I'm going to start feeling bad about the show, because I already felt like it's just

kind of, like maybe it's going to turn out because we have all the books aren't written. There's two more books to be written. Maybe it just turns out that this guy's writing a really bad story that we're not going to like the end of. Yeah. Maybe it's just rape and that guy's winning all the way through.

He's in his late 60s and he's morbidly obese. Oh, Jesus. He's not going to, no. He's not going to make it through. He's in his late 60s and he's morbidly obese. He's not going to make it through. He's got the... Look, if Magic Johnson has made it this long with AIDS, then J.R.R.

Martin or whatever, he'll make it another 10 or 20 years with his money. He'll be fine. That's what we need to do. We need to get him... Whoever cares for the president, we just need his doctors to start watching J.R.R. Martin as they, like, ensure that he types 20 pages a day. Did you see Michelle Obama's workout video? No. Oh, my God.

I have to, though. She's wearing a leotard. She's in pretty good shape. You mentioned taking care of the president's body. Somebody's taking care of Michelle's body. She's jumping ropes. And his name is Barack. She looked very wide for uh quite

a few years i think that maybe she dresses poorly or yeah she looks good let me let me find it yeah yeah yeah but um oh and then sansa so anthony's gonna rip me for this but in the book sansa doesn't go to winterfeld it's not her who gets raped it's uh what they do is they find one of sansa's friends who looks a little bit like her younger sister, and they say this is Arya, and she goes through all this trouble. They just threw the rape in there because I feel like they knew it was a weak episode,

and they were like, oh, if we ended on something like this, then at least we'll get a hashtag going. People will be like, oh, I should get into this show. It was pretty weak. The last two episodes have been weak. Sansa's character has been

developing this guile and cunnliness? Cunning. Cunning is what I'm looking for. Cunnliness is totally different. Cunnilingus? Yeah, very good at eating out the other's skin. So anyway, she's been developing this guile, this wit, this cunning. She goes toe-to-toe with Littlefinger

and her character is sort of coming into her own where she could be a player in the Game of Thrones. And then, like, she knew she was marrying Ramsay. She knew she was going to consummate the marriage that night. Why couldn't she, like, take it with a smile or this, like, look at the camera like it's all part of her plan? Why did she have to be raped like that? Take it with a smile. Well, it's part of her plan. She went have to be raped like that take it with a smile well it's part of her plan she went there to marry this guy as a part of her plan to take

back Winterfell she knew they were gonna consummate the marriage like so I didn't think I don't think she knew that like the guy who murdered her two brothers was gonna watch like you've never hit it with someone else in the room. Anyway, hashtag gimme five. First lady boxing workout. Yeah, she's looking pretty fit there. All right. I'm queued up at zero.

Do you have the video, Anthony? I got the video over here, yeah. You should start at like 20 seconds in because they interview her trainer and have a bunch of other bullshit before then. So at 20 seconds in they really Kick this thing out. All right. I'm a 20 size about your parents around That's for kids. Are we ready on forbid you unsupervised calorie at 20 seconds ready set play You don't want to come off the floor too high counting

From past videos I've seen of her or presences I don't know last time I saw a picture of Michelle Obama but it does look like she has gotten in better shape Anthony you know she's a little hippie but she's closing in on 50 I want But, I mean, two kids, I understand. Isn't she closing in on 50? I want to say she's like top 5%, you know, in her bracket. Yeah, she's got some definition on her arms. Everyone forgive Anthony. He spent the afternoon in a hot tub with a 19-year-old.

I think his standards got blown out of the water. Yeah, that might have biased me a bit on Michelle Obama. She's looking pretty good here. I guess Obama got his own Twitter finally. It's at POTUS, you know, President of the United States. Yeah, he had the other one but I guess whenever

he would tweet something it would say B-O, you know, Barack Obama at the bottom. But now this is like exclusively his. And what is he? He's just like joking around with Bill Clinton. That was great. Hey, dickface, what's up?

He doesn't just make jokes. I know you're not really pro-Democrat. You don't want to see Obama and Clinton goofing off. No, I thought that was pretty cool. Yeah, Clinton was like, hey, does that Twitter handle come with the office? I'm asking for a friend, right, because his wife is running. And Michelle Obama is the FLOTUS, the first lady of the United States or whatever it is.

And he's like, you know anyone that needs FLOTUS? Which is funny because Bill would be. I kind of like him calling Bill a bitch. Yes, which was great. Yeah, so that... Yeah, I thought that was pretty entertaining. I don't mind, you know, a nice human moment between these automaton politicians that rarely do that.

I thought it was pretty cool. Yeah, I thought it was good. I was looking at some of the replies, I guess, that Obama got right away, because I was like, wait a minute, is Obama immune to the cancer that is Twitter? And no, he's not. Like, immediately, he's just like, uh, it's good to be on Twitter, or whatever he said first. And, me, it's just like, fuck you, nigger! It's like, what?! Oh, I know, yeah.

Like, right out of the gate, that's what you say to the president? I can't believe... That was a bit shocking, but then I remembered it was Twitter, so... Lucky for him, though, he's got people that was a bit shocking, but then I remember it was Twitter so lucky for him though He's not that could just be like Hi, we saw you You know he won't do that But it's still stupid to say that to him because he could like imagine he's having a real bad day like Like it's a it's the worst day. He's had in, a year or so. It's a bad day for Obama. He's just like, that one.

You're there, like, six hours later, all beaten and bloody, bagged, pulled off your head. That's what I'm saying. Dude, if I was president, holy fuck, I would repurpose the Department of Homeland Security. It's just a hobby. Okay, let's start off with everyone who said shit about Colin. I like it. Yeah. I would just, oh, what's the Homeland Security doing anyway, right? They're just like the CIA and the FBI kind of duplicated.

Give them a job. People who talk shit to me on Twitter they gotta go I wore hundreds with her terrorism yeah I'll be like look yeah I know I didn't close down get mo but there's a lot of assholes on Twitter so many douchebags saying bad things about me go whenever I hear get my 69 would you take him off to a camp you remember was it bill o'reilly who was it bill o'reilly who said that he would get uh uh waterboarded or no no it was john hannity it was hannity yep yes yeah it was definitely hannity and he said that he would get waterboarded for

charity and then a handful of people offered to do it for him including jesse ventura and uh every so often it comes up on the internet like hey just a friendly reminder it's been 1782 days since uh hannity said he'd be waterboarded and hasn't been would you be waterboarded for any for what would it take for you to be waterboarded i mean professionally for 30 seconds but you can't like even no it doesn't work that way because you know that it's somebody that's doing it for this that you have to you have. I'm going to do it. I'll drown you like 10 years from now. Someone has to grab you. You just don't even know what's going on and start doing it.

So you have the fear of not knowing if this is real or not. Like that's the part of waterboarding, is, oh, I think I'm dying. Not Jesse Ventura going like, are you okay, Sean? We're gonna waterboard ya. And knowing that he's not gonna murder you. That's not a bad impression. Oh, shit, I killed Sean Hannity.

It doesn't happen. That's exactly what Ventura sounds like now. All right, so I have actually... So we were filming a video once, and I let them waterboard me, and there were no government agents there to professionally do it, but I think I know what waterboarding is. They tilted me back in a chair that I was tied to.

They put a rag over my nose and my mouth, and they poured large amounts of water, like, straight onto there. It was awful. It really was terrible. It was... How long did you last? Maybe 10 seconds.

There's water in the back of your throat the whole time. Christopher Hitchens did that and he only lasted for a few seconds. You're coughing and forcing the water back out of your throat. You're on the edge of inhaling constantly. It seems great to do to people that, like, screw you over. Yeah. I mean, you know, I understand right after September 11th, 2001, I don't think one American would have thought, well, we probably shouldn't do that to them.

Everyone's, yeah, fog and water boredom. Now, you know, now people kind of go, ah, maybe the torture thing. Yeah, I've seen, like... It's also because of's just the nature of it that people aren't as afraid it's not like having your fingernails torn out it's just like you know it's water in a rag and i don't think people really it sounds very like what i wash my face every day i gotta wash cloth and water what yeah i just leave it on until you get mildewy what's going on so we were doing what would it take to get waterboarded. I don't want to get waterboarded for charity. No, no, I don't either.

I get that money for my suffering. No, but let's do it under Anthony's stipulation of it can be. It's like a coupon that you give to someone, and it's like redeemable. I'll still do that. I don't care. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, sure, sure. That's even better.

They get to pull it off. Yeah, and I might just accidentally shoot you when you come to fucking do that. Yeah, exactly! Shit happens. What are you gonna say, they came at me, tried to take me? What am I gonna do? Yeah, oh shit, I shot him. They'll display the coupon, you know? So, Kyle, what's your amount of money?

Cause clearly you have some idea. It's super low. No, it'd be super low. Like all mine are. When I really boil it down to seeing cash piled up, a grand will get just about anything done you want. I'm just like, I could have some fun with a grand. A grand?

Yeah, sure. I mean, I'd hold out for more if I could get it. See, I'm kind of with you. The lowest amount that I would take, if there were just an ad that said, be waterboated for 10 seconds, $1,000. I'd answer that. What year is this ad from?

It's a newspaper ad. Is it just 10 seconds? Yeah, it's 10 seconds. For 10 seconds, I think I'd... I mean, if they came to me, I think I'd do it for $100. Yeah. What is it? Can't you just hold your breath for 10 seconds. For 10 seconds, I think I'd... I mean, if they came to me, I think I'd do it for 100 bucks. Yeah. What is it? Can't you just hold your breath for 10 seconds?

Yeah, answer that, Kyle. Can't you just hold your breath for 10 seconds? Why after 10 seconds are you like, whoa, whoa, when you could just... I've been underwater longer than 10 seconds. I think that's worse than just having a wet rag on your face. Well, you can't close your nose. Yeah, they tip you backwards, so your feet are higher than your head. Oh, so the water's going to put you right there. The rag up your face. Well, you can't close your nose. Yeah, they tip you backwards so your feet are higher than your head and the water's...

The rag up your nose. Okay, that's fucked up. In your nose, in your mouth, and you're just... And it starts this whole process of like you cough, the water kind of clears, and then you inhale more water. And you cough again. It's like hyperventilating with a little

water in your respiratory tract and they keep pouring more. And keep in mind your heart's racing because you're just like it's like hyperventilating with a little walk in your respiratory tract and they keep pouring more and keep in mind like your heart's racing because you're like tilted back they're holding you down maybe they're slapping you around a little too in my case it was my friends doing it but like i was my heart was still racing please tell me it was like jeremy or someone of like equivalent chuck was was that um it was that guy i was telling you about we were talking about this the the super-rich guy who went went Whore racing you know he got on yeah, yeah, yeah, it's it was him He's one of the guys that was holding me down and Jeremy was the other you know

They're wearing ski masks in the video and everything damn nice. They didn't say that that was shitty. What'd you say? Oh, they didn't let you air it. Oh, they thought it was too hardcore man. You can hear like Oh, they thought it was too hardcore. Because you can hear it like... Dude. The best videos Kyle makes, they don't get on YouTube. They just get shared with friends.

Like him waterboarding him. Kyle, man. So you remember the first time... Can I talk about the one with the tree falling and all? Like what its content was? I was too close to the wrong end of a cannon and it shot a bowling ball in sort of an unsafe way. And it cut a tree down that was behind me. So let me explain this, right? If you could picture Kyle standing about three feet from, can I say a target?

Okay, okay. And then the bowling ball was meant to hit the target to observe, you know observe what happens when you shoot a bowling ball at this thing. And it misses the target by like three feet. Thankfully, to the three feet not at Kyle. Or it was three feet up, was it? It was high. All right. Now, I have watched Kyle miss like a car.

What have I seen you miss? Mannequins? Kyle's missed some serious shit with this cannon. Oh, I don't set the cannon up. Eric sets the cannon up. But the thing is, you're inaccurate enough that you can die. You've got to stop standing downrange of the cannon because you suck at aiming it. You're inaccurate left and right.

I could shoot it through a crack in a door, but I'm just not sure if it's going to hit the top half or the bottom half of that crack. It depends on how much powder's in there. It uses black powder. So you're comfortable enough to bet your life on this, because you have. From that range?

Yeah, absolutely. If it hit me, I'd have never known it. My head would have went off like in the Patriot or something. No, they wouldn't have come off. You would have vaporized. Just like when you hit a dove in your car. This thing will shoot through it. It'll shoot in one car door and out the other. That's what we did

to that Mercedes. It's very powerful. But yeah, it was a really cool video. This cannon shoots bowling balls. I don't know if we really laid that out. That's what you use as its projectile, a bowling ball. And yeah, Kyle has missed all kinds of stuff, yet still stands stands down range of it

it's really how kyle might die mythbusters shoot a bowling ball through someone's house yeah yeah i'm always like like every now and then one will go awry and i'm just like at this point i'm telling i'm, we've got to go to the desert next time we film with the Canon, because every time we shoot it, you can hear them when they're in the air, because bowling balls have three holes in them, and it's spinning as it flies through the air at high altitude, and it makes this noise.

Yeah. The rotation goes, woo, woo, woo, woo, and the farther away it is, the frequency changes if you know how acoustics work. So as it gets closer to you, it speeds up. So at first it's woo woo woo woo, and this thing's out of sight. It's a pin prick in the sky. It's so tiny.

We've shot it so high. And then you start hearing it. Woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo. And somebody goes, I lost it! And everybody starts running. And everybody's trying to get under cars and look for something substantial to get over their head. And you just hear it hit the fucking ground with a crack. PAH!

Oh no! It's pretty unsafe to play with sometimes, so... We've been, uh... We've used it in the desert before. I think that's probably what we'll do in the future too. How far does it go into the ground like just regular dirt um not that far because of terminal velocity it slows down to a pretty pretty slow rate by the time it do the cannonballs keep working like question if they don't hit anything hard they will keep going indefinitely it seems but as soon as you hit something with them they just fucking explode explode. Bowling balls are made out of, like, plastic with some cork on the inside and, like, maybe, like, a fiberglass resin, like a resin-type scenario.

So if you hit something hard with them, a lot of times they just kind of come apart in these big, sharp-edged chunks. I think we're losing Anthony's video here. We've lost his video. Have you guys had his video through most of the night? No. He was switched out in one position. I had an image. It was just a still image. Now it's just the head.

I just had a rotating no image type thing, but hopefully he comes back better than ever. I'm still a little preoccupied with Merka Durka's Handy. I thought it was very funny. Yeah, I'm still a little preoccupied with Mercadurk is handy. I thought it was very funny. I thought it was great.

Oh, yeah, we both think it's funny. No need to worry about offense, as if you would. But I thought it was a fun little addition. Usually those scumbags on Reddit will come up with something petty to complain about or come up with something from the past to Like being annoying about but this one was actually funny. They found some evidence They they they did a traditional reddit as witch hunt and they they nailed it down really well with evidence Incredibly quickly to like the video had been it was still like 301

And it was like there were more up votes on the post than there were views on the video they found it immediately part scope and your girlfriend that's the only way they noticed because they must have been like oh let me see what this girl looks like let me see let me learn more about her because i feel like if i were just a casual fan and we're watching it i'd have never noticed that going on for a second just for the video people i know that the the boxes are in the wrong spot but they'll be in the right spot if Anthony comes back, so I'm just holding out. Should we introduce ourselves in case they're confused?

You're all like half ahead. You look like this. Oh, should I? Do I need more? Would this be better? Am I gone? Marcus in the corner like, Kyle looks good.

Yeah, Kyle, I get it. If you could just be a little taller than normal, we'd see your eyes. Wow, Kyle nailed it. And Taylor's a little low. There you go. Down Taylor. It's hard to hold that. Anyway, Vanity comes back, then all the boxes would be in the right spot.

If he doesn't come back, then I'll fix it manually. Okay. Just give me a second. I saw someone suggest that they were like, why don't the guys use the real names in these boxes any thoughts about that i'd be fine with being kyle i i don't think uh i need to be fps kyle i could be just kyle i rename everyone in skype right and every so often i'll share a skype conversation and they're like oh oh, good work, Woody. Now you gave away FPS Megaduck's real Skype handle.

No, I didn't. No one keeps that. I'd be happy to change to Kyle and Taylor and stuff like that. I don't really care. It's just a weird thing that just... Are people looking at the names? Are they coming in? I guess so. That's what I'm talking about.

It seems like we're known more by the gamer tags. Or I am. Yeah, maybe. But I just, I think it's that a lot of them already know us. And they're like, hey, you're more of a tailor to me than you are a murka durka. I think that's probably where they're coming from. Could be. I could update it.

What was I going to say? Oh, oh, oh. So, WoodyCraft is doing a team building event. Yeah, actually. So I've got a couple of guys on paid staff. One of them lives nearby, Heather. You guys know Heather, so she'll drive here. But Chiz and Ice and Fuzzy, I'm going to fly them in from around the world,

and we're going to spend time in Raleigh. And we'd be coming up with all these team building activities. Some of them are like little competitions that they can do. Who's ice and fuzzy? They work at Woodycraft. Their staff. So they're not famous outside of being Woodycraft people.

But Jackie keeps circling back to like, hey, one good team building activity. What if we had fence building races? Or, you know, like lawn mowing competitions. We could do that. And she's trying to get... Yeah, guys, come and be fun. We'll do some fencing. Everybody's imagining, like, you know,

everybody gets a foil. You're like, alright, here's your tool belts, fucking post hole diggers. Off we go. Hope you guys took your allergy medicine. It's hell out there today. Come on. The challenge is you get one cup of warm water every six hours and you can't come inside ready we're gonna do go-kart racing we're gonna do laser tag laser tag i do you feel jealous because i played late you were

my first i thought paint paintball or airsoft would be the way to go i think you get your you just need a couple more of uh you've already got one airsoft gun I think you I have to I think the most fun way to play airsoft is when only one guy has the gun anyway and he hunts the other I think that's the opposite of team-building that is no they work as a team to avoid you idea yeah the most dangerous game. Don't ever pursue a career in HR, Kyle. All right, here's how it works, boys.

We're talking about lawn-sized Jenga. I think that would be fun, although I don't know how. What is that? You've never seen it? Do you know Jenga? Yeah. Yeah, well, you play Jenga with landscaping timbers where the boards are four like, four by fours

and you, you know, do something big and strong. It should be cool. We could play it with two by sixes or something like that. So I might put together, like, a lawn-sized Jenga. Can you invite him back? I can. On it, I see. All right. can on it i see all right you guys are mostly back in your proper spots hey wait i think we haven't thank god mic check jeez there we are welcome back oh my god oh i was i don't know

all this technology and uh the weak link and the whole thing is Rat's dumb computer. I guess we have to buy him a new present, a new computer or something. Oh, here you are. You're looking good. There we go. Oh, my God. I was enjoying the bowling ball story there.

Damn. I got cut out of it. So you have a tech guy on site named Rat, and he handles all this stuff for you? Yeah, he's like every day for my show. He's kind of the director tech guy and handles all the bullshit that goes along with trying to put a product out on the Internet these days. Does he stay in the guest room or something no he's not like alice the maid of 2015 you know hey you want to get a show on mr brady he shows up when needed i learned long ago that the best way to find help in a small business

is just to move them into your home with you that way you got them There they can't leave we want to quit where you fucking gonna go Right on in with you karaoke tonight, and I need to broadcast Get out of bed and get in the... Yeah, that's... How many people do you have there with you, Anthony, like in a given show generally? Well, we got the lovely Rat, and then Garrett, who does production assistant, kind of a thing, and screens phone calls,

and then Keith the Cop, who is the producer of the show, ex-NYPD lieutenant, who, of course, always makes the best show producers a cop. Take him to the back, put guests with a light in their face and hit him with a sap a few times. Yeah, whatever works. And Aaron, who is our publicity person. So four people are on board,

and then there's various people that come in and out of my house at any given moment uh it is a circus it's it's definitely a peewee's playhouse kind of a an arrangement all i hear is this guy knows how to monetize a podcast holy smokes it really helps if you had an audience to start with i I think that's what Adam Carolla said. Somebody asked him, what's the best way to get money from a podcast? He goes, be famous. It's like right off the bat,

if you have a built-in audience. That's why I wanted to get this off the ground so fast after I was tossed out of SiriusXM in July. We had this up and running by August because I didn't want to lose the people that were like, hey, what's he doing? What's he talking about? Just get it up and running and have that built-in audience. So it seems to work.

Knack Wood? So Opie did this thing and made its way onto YouTube where he talked about your relationship. And to put it nicely, I guess it had become more of a co-worker type thing than a friendship toward the end there. Yeah, well, his was a response to what I did. Leave it alone, Woody. Too late. I kind of got on and talked about how I didn't think they really went to bat for me 100% with the boss.

I think Opie wanted to move on in a different direction with the show, and me and Jimmy were constantly... What does that mean, a different direction? Does that mean a direction without you? That was it. One section's Anthony going in, let's go the other way. Whatever that is, it's this way. Let's go the other way.

Whatever that is, it's this way. So it was kind of the ideal situation to change things up. Look, over the years, he became a dad, got married. His opinions on a lot of things changed. Mine, I've always kind of been, I like know I like staying up late I like waking up late I like having people over I like having parties I like shooting guns I like you know

all in one day by the way parties guns dad what's your sleep schedule like when do you go to sleep when you wake up typically I usually go to sleep when you wake up typically uh i usually go to sleep at about uh 6 a.m and i wake up at anywhere between noon and 2 p.m yeah i like that too that's circling back to the thing kyle that so so i guess it's just simple as that that

it was bumpy behind the scenes look if you're if you're in any type of relationship whether it's as simple as that, that it was bumpy behind the scenes. Look, if you're in any type of relationship, whether it's a marriage or a working relationship for just about 20 years, you're going to bump heads every so often and not agree with things. And that's kind of what happened over the years with me and Opie. We kind of grew apart. know, we grew apart. I think we still did a great show together. I was never walking in there every day going, wow, fuck, I gotta do a show with this asshole.

It wasn't that, but there were just things that irked both of us about each other. The only problem was we were doing a really popular show and making a lot of money doing it. So we stuck it out unlike Oasis or other projects that I've looked at over the years and said, what are they, dumb? They have the world by the balls. They're making a fortune. Just stick it out if you can.

So many bands do that. There's one guy in the band who's a cunt. He's a cunt. All these guys want to go tour. They want to go back and tour the fucking world, make 800 grand in the next three months each or something like that. I'm talking about a small band. And there's this one motherfucker who's like, I made enough.

I made enough. You know, I'm just not into it anymore. How about you don't be into it when no one's into you anymore? How about you play it out until the fans are saying, yeah, I'm just not into it when no one's into you anymore how about you play it out until the the fans are saying yeah i'm just not into it anymore and and and build up your little uh bankroll and then right buy a fucking palace somewhere just work hard for three years then you'll get the next 67 years as vacation does that work for you? There you go. That's pretty much it. But, you know,

yeah, we banged heads a few times and then when I got fired, I think it was a good opportunity for him to kind of reassess what he wanted to do with the show. The show is a lot more kind of weirdly enough family friendly now.

It is. Yeah. No longer list. And I'm in a jacuzzi with a naked 19-year-old. You often have some X-rated stuff going on over there. Every now and then, I saw some large black porn star, I'm guessing, just very naked on your Twitter. Yeah. It wasn't a while back now.

Yeah. I always see some just dirty whores over there on your Twitter. It was a while back now. I always see some dirty whores over there on your Twitter. It's quite entertaining. When you model Anthony, you've got to be careful opening that up in public or with people around. It's an NSFW Twitter, definitely.

There's so many weird things with this show, and it's exactly what I wanted in a show, was to be able to... Yeah, we put on the night's safe for work alarm and then anything goes. Then it's your problem if you didn't turn it off

or turn the sound off. There it is. I like that. It's a definite, you know something's happening. But there'll be something like that, a porn star doing horrid things. And then I'll have a debate about gun control and the Second Amendment and things with on another day.

It's it's very wide open. I just like the ability to be open, honest, uncensored and really talk about like it's exactly how you guys feel about what you're doing. There's no one telling you, well, you better not talk about that or that it's it's a true freedom that you have uh when when you're putting on the show yourself you know what are the things that you've been told they shouldn't talk about on the show woody or maybe i will say this when i when i changed um networks i immediately had to clean up a bunch of titles. I used to do this series called Mail Monday. And I hate to say the titles were clickbait.

Okay. But what would happen is I'd choose topics based on what would help people and what would get people to watch. I remember one in particular. There was this guy who had blood in his ejaculate. And I was like, bloody ejaculate is a title I would click on. So that was that and when I changed networks they're like no curse words or even no like you know bloody ejaculate talk in the titles anymore. So the titles and thumbnails had to be more family friendly than they were in the past. Oh, well, that's kind of well, I've noticed some other language of late on your show that isn't very clean. Well, the content in the video like that would take a lot of effort to really look into, especially this show.

We did like a, I don't know, 45 minute thing where we looked at girls in bikinis and talked about which one we'd want last week. Sure. Yeah, we were just ripping them apart. Like, oh, you see this perfectly hot chick? Pointy nose. There weren't any perfectly hot chicks in that gaggle of fucking girls that you rolled out for us. But I thought they were interesting too,

like the ones that were good-looking, but the kind of good-looking you see on a daily basis. Like, okay, now what do you think about this? Yeah, she could serve me coffee. Jesus, Kyle. Kyle, if I recall, when we were at a Buffalo Wild Wings like five years ago, the blonde waitress who was helping us, who I kept

telling you was... Oh, you are recanting what you were talking about. Did I recently agree it was a five and a half? No, no. Previously, you were like, oh, she's a cutie. And'm like she's you'd have to take a bus to get halfway around her like she oh no that wasn't true it wasn't big she was a little little chunky i don't remember it that way i remember she wasn't that pretty but it was getting toward the end of the night and and we weren't going anywhere after buffalo wild wings i was just doing the best i can

and i wasn't the only one. She was above average. I would put her at like 65% of the population. She was the best looking waitress we had at that moment. Yeah, that's true. We had one. Of all the waitresses serving my table, she was the best choice. So I picked her. Like I wasn't going to go looking for somebody.

And, you know, take what you can get when you can get it. Did she? Oh, and then you were competing aggressively with someone else for that yeah a married guy it wasn't me does it be clear no no um so yeah that was win over you could win over a married guy pretty quick when you just rat out that he's married i wanted to so bad it's gone done deal right there oh yeah how's the wife did you call your wife oh excuse me while you're talking the waitress you're like excuse your wife call your wife then and then that's it was she pregnant at the time let's just drop it

because i'm pretty sure he was just teasing he was he was hitting on her in kind of a funny kind of jokey kind of way and i was hitting on her and i kind of but i want to fuck you in the ass kind of way yeah yeah he was absolutely just trying to sort of impress his friends He was not trying to score this girl Sure, somebody's trying to score the girl lay the fuck off Even if it's a joke or you know You're trying to impress your friends one of your friends is trying for the real deal lay off You have two options you can either back off which is what I usually pick or wingman perfectly yeah

so I'll help the tongue-in-cheek snarky cock block we're going in your fun around so you had to work 10 times harder the deal goes quickly guys can be real douchebags they can if you ain't neither of you oh thanks great fucking arrangement do you need a whole new topic

yeah please alright which fictional mom is your favorite milf this is hard because there's there's a lot of fiction and even more moms mom you think there's more moms than there is fictional moms i bet you're right june cleaver june cleaver she does not seem like a good lay that seems like a guy that

really has mother issues like yeah that's the ultimate mother peggy bundy was a pop this was an ask question and peggy bundy was a choice i uh i thought hard she's my pick realistically that's a good answer that's really whorish though and kind of weird you're describing his type whores and weird Yeah I was at the shoe store I go back and fuck Peggy She's super hot Peggy Way too hot for Al

And she always wanted sex Yes Al can we have sex Just constantly She always wanted to get fucked No Peg Wow that's I'm going through decades of

I'll do mine And I think you guys will have a hard time topping her Worst is Malcolm in the Middle right? Yeah She's not what you're looking for They're not worse Roseanne Roseanne's a bad one

Later when she won the lottery and everything What was Helen Hunt's character in She was with Paul Rudd. They did have a baby in that show, I think. They did, that fucking dumb Paul Reiser show with her. Yeah, I didn't see that. That's before my time, I think.

Dude, it was Helen Hunt. That's like some TV land shit. Mad About You. Yes, that was it. Oh, Mad About You. Okay. I don't think Helen Hunt was ever very hot. Really?

I thought she was... I think she had a Tina Fey thing going on in that she was so super cool it gave her a number or two on the 110 scales. I liked her more in Mad About You.

Yeah. I liked her in that movie where she was dating the guy who was like paralyzed or whatever. And he pissed on her while they were having sex in bed. Do you want to know how big an idiot I am? Yeah. Yeah. Mad about you was on TV at around the time I was getting married.

And I would watch that show and be like, that doesn't look so bad. You thought your married life was mad about you? It's not. That was married life? married and I would watch that show and be like that doesn't look so bad I just I swear like it did not that that's the reason I got married but it was a little piece of the puzzle like I could do that I could do that yeah wow that's I was really young she was a child star too she was in some movie called roller coaster uh years ago and it was like uh yeah she was a kid and it was some some uh the plot was it was i think timothy bottoms who later on went on to play george bush and that's my bush that spoof show that was on. He ended up being a mad

bomber that was setting up bombs on roller coasters around various amusement parks. It was like a big commercial for Magic Mountain back in the 70s when they had the first loop coaster. She was in that as a little child actress. A little trivia for you, people.

I think Peggy Bundy is my favorite milf I'm going to have a hard time and since she's fictional I was even going to cartoon characters and I was trying to think if I want to fuck the wife from like Family Guy cause I mean she's pretty hot I think oh that voice

Peter! isn't it always kind of hot when she's very scantily clad? Yeah, she's wearing like a black negligee. Sometimes she's got like the dominatrix get up on it. Oh, Peter, time for a whipping. She's got the whip and everything. It's hot.

Yeah, I like that. What about the blonde with the big tits there from Family Ties? She's on that show with Alex P. Keaton. I mean, you just keep... What about back... If you're going to keep doing that, Green Acres. Yeah. Hey, how's that Zsa Zsa Gagbor?

Am I right? Am I right? She's like dead now. She's 99 or something. You can't count Eb, who was the adopted son as a kid, so she wasn't really a milf. It's true.

What about the pig, though? Dude, I have a Family Guy scene. That's a fucking pig. Can we watch this together? Is it a sexy scene? It is a sexy scene. Oh, it's excellent quality, too. That's good, because I'll be less likely to get a copyright strike.

But check this scene out. Are you guys ready? Yeah. All right. I'm looking. We're watching a video of a video on a podcast. But I'm hoping

the audio is good. Ready, set, play. Hey, Brian. What's up? Hi, Lois. Peter. Brian, did you know this couch was here? It's so comfortable. Listen.

They're high or something. Yes. I don't know. Holy shit. Let you be nude. He's knocking on the back door. Oh, shit. He's knocking on the back door. She seems fun. Should I let him in?

I'm scared. Holy shit. That was pretty good. I've seen that one before. I know that's a favorite of yours, the anal sex reference. She is dirty. They both are. I like that about... That's one of my favorite shows. I don't like much animation.

I don't care for the Simpsons anymore. I see that they've reached some new ultimate goal of 30 or 40 years consecutive. I kind of got worn out on it about 10 or 12 years ago. Family Guy and South Park, still stay relevant and funny to me somehow.

The Mr. Burns guy, who does quite a few other voices, quit. So Simpsons is losing a big swath of voices. Derek Smalls from Spinal Tap. Harry Shearer. Yeah, he decided he was going to bail out, I guess. Contracts didn't go good. He said he was going to bail out, I guess.

Contracts didn't go good. He said he wanted more money and now he's leaving. He does a lot of the voices for The Simpsons. A couple years ago, some of the main voice actors got a big cut in pay, like the ones that do Homer, Bart, and... How would you get a cut? I can understand

no raise this year or something like that, but a show like The Simpsons, you're like, yeah, we got to cut your pay. It's like, do you understand, like, where the voice is of it? And you're doing pretty well. It's animation, so there's no overhead, really? I think it was, you know, hey, the ratings aren't what they were. The sponsors don't pay what they did. We're either going to cancel the show or we're going to lower the expenses associated with it.

So cancel the show, then, motherfuckers. Then you starve too. Yes, fuckers. You see, this negotiating expertise is why he has four people in the background working his tech out while I set the shit up for the final five minutes beforehand. As far as to why I'm in my basement right now. I'm in a studio i liked uh that part in your video where you kind of ragged on opie's negotiating tactics

as just complete silliness and not over crazy yeah there was a lot of uh like if you're saying i'm not gonna sign fuck those guys at least tell Because me and my agent, as we're going back and forth with phone calls, had no clue whether he was going to re-sign or not. So, you know, if it was a negotiating tactic, fill in the other guy that's, you know, part of the show. But I think he always was. I mean, every contract he said, I'm not signing. Screw these guys. Fuck this. I'm never doing this again. I'll move on and do I mean, every contract he said, I'm not signing. Screw these guys. Fuck this. I'm never doing this again.

I'll move on and do something else, he said. Howard used to do that, too. I know he's not your favorite, but he would publicly go on and sort of set himself up for his next job. He's doing it right now. He is. Time for a new contract this year. Is that it? That's what everyone asks.

Oh, yeah, big time. Contract negotiation time is so obvious. It's so hack at this point. I'm not resigning. You guys could go to hell. It's like, oh, I guess it's over then.

You always come back and, alright, well, we'll do this. And we're asking for a thousand hats. right, well, we'll do this. And we're asking for a thousand hats. All right. Well, you know what? If you raise the money up, we'll get rid of the hats. Probably ridiculous things that mean nothing. You know eventually you just want the money.

Yeah, it's all right. No electronics were damaged in that little spill rat, so don't worry about it. You missed that. A glass kind of went over. Yeah, bad news for you, Anthony. You've just become our podcast negotiating mentor. That's good. We'll be tapping into you for advice next time Crunchyroll wants to re-up.

Give me a Crunchyroll. I heard about those guys. I know that. That Crunchy roll thing. We're doing a whole building a network thing here. I haven't even been fired for a year yet.

It's a whole new thing. It's pretty amazing and frightening and exciting at the same time to try to build this thing that's brand new like a couple of years ago this shit just didn't exist uh and i was saying i can't wait until all this good natured hey your podcast my podcast let's all get you know we're cool it's gonna get vicious after a while when it really starts getting monetized people are gonna be like oh you want to do like a fuck those guys fuck them I'm not support why would

I plug these guys when I need to we're in the golden age where everyone's patting everyone on the back and you know it's gonna get nasty very competitive once it pushes radio out it's gonna become just like radio is now yeah yeah yes exactly and then it's going to be very competitive and people will hate each other do you mind rat uh cleaning up uh this wine after i leave i have to actually uh danny you want to come back here for a second i have a dinner date uh tonight with the the lovely uh yeah come back here please be the same girl as you were hanging out with earlier today. No, this is Danny.

She's a wonderful stand-up comic girl. Pop your shoes up then. Yeah, look, they're beautiful. So I would love to hang out longer and chit-chat with you gentlemen, but I do have to go out to... Cool. Well, thanks for coming on. We will take you up on that. Love to hang up on a future date. I love...

No, but you guys, I always have fun hanging out and talking with you guys. It definitely is a... What do they call it? A pisser. So how do people find you? AnthonyKumia.com and shut up you clean it up you guinea

brat godfather they always want me to be so Italian now be a killer like your father go ahead you guinea brat yeah anthonykumia.com Monday through Thursday Now be a killer like your father. Go ahead, you guinea brat. Yeah, anthonykumia.com, Monday through Thursday, 4 p.m. Eastern to 6 p.m. And I thank you for letting me come on here and hang out with you guys.

You're always a lot of fun. Hey, by the way, really quick, and I know it's an older game but i just got obsessed with eve online is this bad it's it's one of those things there's a few games in that sort of genre and the genre is they can suck your life away and take it and make you part of their realm if you're not careful you'll become one of them it'll be your new everquest i know the best thing is like I'm training right now I'm training skills as we speak you don't have to be on which I love it's like sometimes I won't play for a couple of days. I'm like oh I trained for like two days. This is fucking fantastic Yeah, I'd a good first-person shooter or I like h1

H1 Z1 C1 is a fun one. They're doing some great stuff with that. I got in early in the alpha, and I'm seeing that they're really kind of adding on some good updates and stuff. So that's a fun one, too, to play, I think. That's my gamer fucking contribution for the show. Guys, thanks so much. I'll bring home a Zorky bag for you.

That sounds great. Take it easy, guys. Thank you. Thank you. Come on, anytime. So I have a few different directions we could take this now. One, he just mentioned gaming and so we're already technically talking about gaming right now. We could talk about the big event that we're having tomorrow

night or for the listeners who are going to be hearing this, unless you're for the listeners who are going to be hearing this unless you're a patreon you're going to be hearing this saturday it happened last night the big 2v2 civilization battle that is apparently tomorrow right yeah dr chiz and fbs kyle versus monkey and woody yes so excited about this now monkey monkey is a guy who's played in a few games with us i think he uh does he work for you on woody craft does he just pitch in or does he he's just a user so monkey uh well i i guess i met monkey through sour sour he has worked he made the halo texture pack the thing that makes it look so awesome um he's friends with sour and he's like been

he's just on my team a lot he's uh he's really trustworthy there are a lot of people in the minecraft world who will pretend to be your friend just to get something and monkey is not that guy maybe monkey's been really investing his time for the big score that that comes when he's invited to the first like uh like team building exercise over at the woody mansion you never know. I wouldn't trust him just yet. I've heard those stories about them becoming your friend and getting inside your base and taking all your shit. But, yeah, he seems like a nice guy.

I've played a few games of Civ with him on the opposing team, and you don't really get a big sense of who they are as a person or anything, but he sticks in there for the long haul, and that's what's most important to me in a Civ game. And he's going to team up with Woody. Are we going to stream this thing, or is this going to be a private event? I feel like if we're going to stream it, then Chiz has to too. I'd be at a huge disadvantage if I stream. I promise not to watch the stream.

I only use the one monitor anyway. You send videos and I'm like, nah, I really don't want to alt tab. I'm afraid of crashing. i will take a vow of of non-screen watching uh if chis will and i certainly would stick to it i don't want to cheat to win i would the victory would feel hollow and the victory is coming but i wouldn't want it to to feel that way so what happened was um i did not realize that monkey was a civ player and i I, I was saying like, Oh, one interesting thing about playing on a team is that you're kind of as good as your best teammate. You know, like, like hypothetically, if Kyle would have played with Jackie, I picked her

because she doesn't know civilizations at all. Then Kyle would just kind of have two civilizations that he was working out. She'd say, what do I build? How do I do this? Which way should I vote? Things like that. And she'd be good. And I thought that this guy, Lord Peter Baelish, was the reason that they won. I just fixed all the video. And Chiz says, no, Monkey was calling all the shots. Monkey was there. He was the director of that team that beat us pretty well. And somehow Chiz came up with the idea. He says, he and you versus Monkey and I. And I'm like, I'm down.

I just want it to be early. I wouldn't even mind starting at 5 instead of 6. Start at noon. I'm ready to roll anytime. This is going to be real good. Okay, let's start at 9. In the morning? Well, that that's just silly 9 a.m. still night to you my sleep schedules improved recent has it yeah I've got a bit around midnight I'm did you touch your new business today yeah I did a thing did you really do a thing are

you just saying I mean it wasn't a major thing it It doesn't have to be. I touched it. That's my thing. Because I know you touched it yesterday. Did you touch it today? Yeah, I did a thing today. Fuck yeah. So, I'm sorry. Totally ruined the same topic. We'll circle back, but I'm excited about this. The last PKN, which if you're a Patreon, you've heard already.

If you're a filthy peasant, sorry, that's what Kyle calls you, then you haven't heard that one yet. But I told Kyle I would ping him every day. And I have been, best I can. The first day, Wednesday, I called him, but he doesn't even have his voicemail set up, so it's hard to really ping him all the time. But I pinged him yesterday. I pinged him today.

I said, just do a thing. Just make that call. Learn a thing. Research a thing. Just touch it. Touch it every day so that it moves forward. Don't like put it in some guy's hands and then let it, you know, like, oh, wait for that guy to get back to me. No, there's lots of things you can do in parallel.

Let that guy be the weakest link and have everything else set up while you're waiting on him or ping him daily if that's what it takes. That's exactly what I've been telling him. Just touch it a bit and then put it in some other guy's hands. Just, you know, keep it rolling. I don't know anything about this, but I'm excited to learn about it after. But no, that's been helpful. And that's the way to get anything done. I think I put it pretty well even on PKN, even though it's kind of your idea and your

thing. But I kind of imagine it like a boulder that's in front of you and instead of trying to roll it out of the way in one big push, kind of chip away at it a little bit each day and eventually it's gravel and you got it. Yeah. And it lines your smooth path to success. That metaphor just keeps going. Oh, right. It becomes it.

And if you do it poorly, it becomes spaghetti junction. Yeah, and you got sharp pieces cutting your feet. So, yeah, Kyle is touching it every day. Anyway, back to Civ. It'll be Monkey and me versus Kyle and Chiz. I'd love to live stream it, but it puts you at a huge disadvantage.

People know all your specs. And just hypothetically, if there are a lot of wonders in Civ, like wonders of the world, that only one person can build. So he'll know exactly how many moves I am away from that wonder. And either he'll get it

before i do or he won't make the mistake of losing like 12 turns of productivity knowing that i was going to do it in 12 and it was going to take him 14 and if he never makes that mistake that's a huge advantage so um uh you know it's got to be either two streams or no streams. I don't. I know Chiz and he would totally stream peek. Ah, well, I am more trustworthy. I promise I would not screen peek if if if for no other reason than just general laziness. I do here have some AMA questions, and maybe you guys would like to peek through them,

pick a few that you like. I need to go to the bathroom. How do AMA questions happen? I have a gaming thing for once. I actually played, Woody knows about this, I'm sure, from back in his day, but I played D&D for the first time. Oh. Yesterday.

Yeah, my girlfriend likes to play, and so I tried it out, and I just didn't make a character or i tried it out and i just i didn't make a character or do anything they just had someone who didn't show up so i just commandeered the reins on his and it's it's fun i think i messed up his character though because i didn't understand like the alignment thing of like you have to actually do good things to be good according to rdm or whatever and so i just immediately started burgling people and looking for seedy individuals to then go and steal from i threatened an old man kicked over his piss jar stole a little money from him uh well not stole i was working for a bookie but it it's a fun game i

can see how people get really into that and kind of get a little too attached to their characters if you if you make the mistake of taking it too seriously and not you know being tongue-in-cheek and joking around and your character builds throughout its lifetime so like when you die in cod you instantly come back as the same guy and dnd when you die online do you you just lose all that right did you make it yeah yeah well i guess the the i don't fully understand it still i was having to like ask her like where do i go to pull up my sheet and uh roll for you know deception or whatever the hell you do and it it was really fun i'm gonna play again soon because it's pretty addictive i think i might make a character but it it's it's tough it's really fucking complicated i didn't think

it would be this hard just to pick it up so i played dnd before computers as a kid and uh i think at the time nobody played it right it was insanely difficult to play and follow all the rules so we would just play like a subset of the rules that we understood and got like i knew how combat work and hit points and defense and but i'm sure we did speed wrong or something or like dodging i don't think we ever dodged or i don't know i'm sure we messed it up but we played it right to the best of our intelligence level at the time because we were like 11 yeah and uh and then we played with other people and i guess maybe i'm not right on that played it to the best of our intelligence level because like after a while our characters got more powerful than they really would.

We just sort of hook each other up. And you're like, all right, you've got this sword of charisma. And it glows blue. And it's wonderful. And it bumps these points up. And then we play with strangers. And they're like, what the fuck? You're cheating, bitches.

Where do you find that imaginary weapon but um it'd be fun to play it now online where all the rules are sort of enforced for you and you can do it right and as i understand it i think that the dm also has quite a bit of control over what rules to enforce what to change which initially i thought i got i don't know if this will change over time of playing it but i think that's a cool thing that you can just kind of be a little, you know, haphazard with the rules sometimes. Like maybe there's something that just kind of ruins the fun, slows everything down for everyone.

You can kind of just be like, all right, well, we're not going to do it that way. We're going to do it this way, and we're all going to still have fun. It's not like Magic the Gathering, the other really nerdy game that I've played for a long time, where you can't just be like, oh, we're going to ignore haste and trample and a bunch of other keywords for the sake of simplicity because then the game just kind of sucks. But D&D has been mixed there.

Why is it Magic better as a virtual game than a card game? It seems like the virtual version of it where the rules are kind of enforced for you and you can get any card you want for a reasonable price would be better. See, I would agree with you there like for one thing i like actually owning it like they do have a magic the gathering online but you still have to pay for online cards and i could never

get behind that and i haven't played it ever but i have watched videos of people playing it online and it's just it looks kind of shitty and it looks like uh like the timing of it can be difficult where it's like in real life you could be like okay i'm gonna tap this and play this and then you know on the stack i'll do this and it all works kind of seamlessly because you have real time to do it whereas online it's like you'll miss an opportunity and you'll have the card that you meant to play and you have the resources to play it but the game's like oh nope you accidentally hit t or something and now you can't go back and that that crashed the game do you remember when we were at pax and like me and onslaught and maybe bash and team art we're all cheering for you to beat that woman because you were our nerd and you were our champion and you beat her the first

time but i think you lost two out of three. Yeah, she beat me the second times. Could the you of today take that girl? Yeah, well, a lot of it has to do with what set you're playing. So, like, I hadn't played in so long that she was there for magic. So she obviously was familiar with the different strategies, what the, you know, most popular one of the time was. Like, maybe, you know, red-green was big back then. I have no idea.

And I didn't know. So all the cards I was seeing was like this is new to me i wonder what else there is in here that's going to work with it so i think i could but she clearly knew her shit so we'd probably trade games pretty well i know i'm not like excellent at it but i have a lot of fun with it you think you could take boogie you calling him out yeah yeah well played i'm glad you said that yeah i can take them five out of five come at me now is there are there leagues where you get to play like any card at all it's just bring your best deck and go there's uh that would be vintage because there's like standard which is just the most recent set and then then there's Modern, which includes a little bit more. Then there's Legacy, which includes a fuck ton of stuff. And then Vintage is like pretty much everything.

But there are still some restricted cards on there, which means that you can only have one of them in your deck. I still believe there's a couple banned ones. Because there are just some cards that they made in like 1994 that were so overpowered for what things do now, where it would just ruin the game it would just ruin the fun of everything does the black lotus count as one of those uh that's restricted in uh vintage i think so you can only have one of them because otherwise

if like you drew two i'm not even gonna explain because nobody would understand the the cadence of it but uh yeah it's it's a really fun game. I wish you guys would give it a try. If you want to just try it just for free, I don't even know if it's free. It might be like $10. The Magic M15 on Xbox One, that's a fun way to do it, but it really limits your cards and tries to get you to buy

shit, kind of like those online cell phone games. Fuck that. Microtransactions are bullshit. What if I gift you, Taylor, Civilization V with all of its many DLCs and packs of fun, all the maps and the civilizations? Don't do it.

Then you could play on your laptop some afternoon and spend a couple of hours. You can even play single player. Don't play Civ unless you have like seven to nine hours. I don't want to get into a game that I Don't play Civ unless you have, like, seven to nine hours. No. Yeah, see, I don't want to get into a game that I have to devote half of a day of, like, my waking hours to it.

Like, it's magic. I can play a lot if I want to, or I can play a quick 20-minute game. Yeah. We have found ways to speed the game up substantially. ways to speed the game up substantially. I think you're going to see I think maybe I will record this 2v2 from my perspective.

I think I might because Chiz and I have come up with some really good ideas. I think we're going to make it very entertaining. I don't want to say much more. Did Kyle just lie and say he's found ways to make it play faster? He said that he's found ways to make it play faster? He said that he's found ways to make it play significantly faster. Yeah.

Like, we wrap games up in three hours now. Fictional. This has never happened while I play with you. See, three hours, that's like saying, you know, I found a way to make Lord of the Rings significantly faster by not watching the extended version. This is building an empire from the dawn of time to the modern era. This is going from scratching in the dirt to building submarines.

So it's going to take a little bit of real-world time. It's that time that makes you appreciate what you've done more. If you don't have it to devote to the game, then it's not the game for you. But you don't always have to play multiplayer where you're dependent on other people and their time schedules and their attention spans. You could play single player and just touch it 15 minutes a day whenever you've got a spare minute or something. Clickety-click and go 10 turns and then save it and come back to it another time. I could see myself trying that out, like the single player, so I could just kind of turn it off, turn it back on whenever I wanted to.

But the multiplayer, like you have to commit hours and hours and hours. I wanted to, but the multiplayer, like, you have to commit hours and hours and hours. Otherwise, you kind of, I can only assume, ruin everybody else's fun by being like, alright, I gotta leave. Sorry that you you know, made prior plans based on my position or my rank or whatever. I would do this for you.

In that scenario, the way I would introduce you to Civ is you and I would play like a 2v2 versus like the computer, and we'd play as much as you wanted to, and then we'd save it there and come back to another time. That way you get the advantage of the world's best fucking tutor. Who better could you want?

Someone who not only has all the experience and knowledge you could ever hope to desire, but also has the ability to articulate it. And I think you just warp ahead in your Civ abilities within a week or so. I'll warn you, Kyle's my CSGO tutor. Not doing well.

If anybody's a CSGO tutor, look, I get on play every now and then. If someone recognizes me, I just leave. I just leave. Every now and then I'll see it pop up in the chat. Kyle? Question mark, question mark, question mark. I like that I type the question marks.

And I'll always be like, and I'm like, out of here. Maybe they didn't see my score. Maybe they just saw my name bobbed by them on the screen. Because I regularly, and this is an exaggeration, five and 20, that'd be a decent game, right? That means I didn't die 30 times this game. And I'm playing like gun games, so it's constant interaction,

but I just don't have anywhere near the skills that anyone else has in that lobby at that. However, in the realm of Civ, I feel like I'm really polishing my skills here lately. I always admit it. I will always say that there's still tons for me to learn. I know probably, I don't know, 70% or 80% of what there is to know about Civ, I think.

And that's saying a lot, I think. But there's a lot that I know very little about that I should. I need to know more about culture, and I'm not going to go through it all. But there's a lot I could know more. But every day I learn more, and I feel like I'm getting better. How popular of a game is it? how many people are online at a given time like is it tough to find games dozens well so that can lead you astray though so the popularity of the game in its multiplayer format is relatively low

now you can get on and find a game, but that's only because, unlike Call of Duty, people aren't frivolously looking for games. They're like, yeah, I'm looking for another human being. Oh, I found one. All right, let's work something out.

On a related topic, there's probably 150,000 people watching this, and there's at least a dozen who like this conversation. All right, we'll shut up very soon. But for those of you listening to this and maybe you're kind of a super fan of us or whatever,

I can think of no better way to spend time with us and hang out than picking up Civilization V. They're not paying me to say that. They should. There's no telling how many copies I've sold. Literally three or four.

Who knows? We've sold ones, possibly half dozen. Yeah. Perhaps. No, but the guys who get on there and play with us, I only know them by Gamertag or Steam ID, but Lord Peter Baelish and all those guys,

they play with us on a really, really regular basis, like a couple times a week or something like that. But I'm going to buy you the game on Steam. We need to exchange Steam IDs. I think you should at least try it because I think that you're a bright guy. I think maybe you've got a strategic mind and you'd enjoy...

You outsmart your opponents and then they pay for it and they have to... They can't be like, well, you know, I had a bad starting spot. No, you're like, man, you played there. You fucking played me. God damn you. You played me.

They beat you. When you get beaten, you're just beaten. When you lose, it sucks a lot. Kyle's used this thing before where he says, basically, you're building a sandcastle. And this sandcastle is your pride and joy. You love it. You have sculpted it. You've turned it into something that you think is great.

And then after about four hours of sandcastle sculpting, you've built your empire. You have a small city of sandcastles all interconnected to each other, trading caravans and naval ships and stuff. Then your sandcastles fight his sandcastles. And he's just gonna fuck it up. He's gonna knock the top off of it and break your roads and pillage your farms and you're like motherfucker and you're gonna launch

artillery at his sandcastle. And if you lose, it is the most brutal loss you've ever experienced in video games. And it takes a while. It can take three hours as you sit there and fucks up your sandcastle tile by tile by tile we used to play three man free-for-alls and there was one game where it was lefty chiz and myself and i was head and shoulders better than both of

them not i'm not saying like in the skill of the game but in the score of that game and in the layout of that game i was kicking both their asses and they knew it. And I was just like all smiles over there, just building wonders and like, yeah, a farm here and a market there. Hell yeah. And just like growing bigger and taller and taller and taller. And then all of a sudden I looked and Chiz had like six horses and Lefty had six more. And they were all just heading my way. And I'm like, hey guys,

what are those horses doing? And they're just like, yay! And they fucking roll up into all my gardens and my markets and my fields that I'd made so green and beautiful and so much better than theirs. There's this saying, you know, the pastures are greener on the other side.

Mine were greener. They were better. And they burnt every one of those tiles until it was black and smoking. There's like a trail of smoke that leads up from that tile. They enslaved all of my people, took them back home, and they had my people build roads back to their

cities so they could send more horses faster. That's what they did to me. It was a humiliating kind of loss, and I still don't like Lefty because of it. You were really courteous the whole time. Because I was going to win. It was either band together and find this

common enemy or lose, and that always happened. Sometimes it would be Chiz, sometimes it would be Lefty. That time it was me, and I took it really poorly. I always take it really poorly and i always take it very poorly when i lose i i don't like losing at anything uh but the the amount you care about at least in my situation the amount i'm going to care about uh losing depends on how much

effort i was putting into winning it's it's directly proportional so if i was just kind of you know playing a little counter-strike and paint not repaying attention I was texting half way to the game I don't care that I went 524 I know I'm bad at the game and I know that a little concentration is gonna make a big deal so I shouldn't take these wins and losses seriously but with civilization like it's what he said before I'm on the forums reading what other people have said about the ship this shit I'm I'm I'm looking up statistics I'm I'm doing math sometimes.

So when I lose, it's like I said, I've been beaten. It's because he did something better than me. And at the very least, it's because I wasn't vigilant enough in the game to see what he was doing to me and stop it before he could. So I take it seriously and personally when I lose. And that's not what's

going to happen Friday. I'll try Civ with you if we do like a 2-on-2 kind of thing where we can just quit out sometimes. Because that's not what's going to happen Friday. I'll try Civ with you if we do a 2-on-2 kind of thing where we can just quit out sometimes. Because I'm not going to play it for nine hours. I simply won't. That's ridiculous. But you also have to try Magic with me. Sure, okay.

Ooh, negotiating. Like rabbits out of hats and shit? Because you're not telling me that games... Fuck you. Talking about making your own civilization and being mad when the tiles turn black then you call my game stupid. We can do magic.

Yeah. I like the crank. Oh, yeah. Hey, I was thinking about Patreon and how awesome those people were and how much I appreciate what they do. For $5, $3, $10 and more, there are different levels. You can check out the link in the description. But one of the things that you get are AMA questions.

Ask me anything. So for Taylor, this was from a Patreon. What is the best advice for a college freshman headed into school? What should I approach going around looking for parties and stuff? I'm sorry. He wrote it better than I did. What is the best advice for a college freshman headed into school? What approach, what should I approach going around looking for parties and stuff? I'm sorry. He wrote it better than I did. How should I approach going around looking for parties?

Oh, so he's just talking about like the fun aspect of it. So the best advice for college freshman headed into school, how should I approach looking for parties? Oh, okay. I just, I just clicked over to it.

So it's two questions. The one for best advice headed into school. So i guess you already have your school picked before you pick your major and don't feel bad if you change it multiple times most people do like if you get to like even almost finished with your like finished with your sophomore year and you're like probably not a lot of jobs in i don't know communications maybe i should look into that engineering or whatever and then you're like oh well fuck then i'll be in for an extra year. Don't hesitate that. Like, definitely pursue that. Allow your interest to change.

That's what you're there to do. So don't hesitate to change your mind a lot. And don't base all of that off of fun, where it's like, oh, well, if I do accounting, I'll have to spend more Friday nights in. And, you know, if I do underwater basket basket weaving i can spend every other day just futzing around in that class oh yeah but uh yeah definitely look for something practical like don't just go into something that you think is 100 fun like actually think about a future job that you can use that in because otherwise you're going to get a degree and not get to use it towards a career and well i guess that at this point you kind of just need a degree to get into the dorm most places.

And then how should I approach going around looking for parties and such? It depends so much on your school. If you're going somewhere that's a small arts college, I wouldn't even know. I would say definitely don't get a fake ID and go to bars. That would be immoral. But if you're going somewhere like in the south that has a big Greek system, definitely go Greek. Find a frat that you think will be a lot of fun or a sorority if you're a girl.

Find one that you think you'll get along with the people there well. And aside from that, join clubs. There's so many of them on college campuses. Some of them are just fucking stupid and have nothing to do with the actual club they're just facades to make friends like there was a larping club uh at my university and we'd see them on the square i wish i joined it kind of looked fun and half the time it was you know people just sitting around in the sun shooting the shit making friends it was guys and girls there but mostly it was like the guys who had their silly foam swords that like of course one

uber nerd would bring because nobody else was buying all the shit just like start this funny and yeah one uber nerd brings like an armory of the larping club yeah see he's also the equipment manager uh-huh it's just a big pillow fight with weapons like as long as you're not standing there making characters like i'm igor the great like just yelling about stuff like that because that is not a good way to get invited to parties lightning bolt you're just like tongue in cheek having fun you know fighting with the pillow then yeah that's people look and they get, yeah, that looks like fun. Yeah, lightning bolt. That would be my advice. Just don't hesitate joining clubs.

Everybody else is just as insecure or about as insecure as you are. Don't think, like when you go to a club as a freshman, a lot of them are going to be freshmen. So give it a shot. They're all anxious too, just trying to make friends. So yeah, don't be nervous. You'll have fun. All right. You got another one? I have got lots of these anime questions from our awesome Patreons.

Would you like us to pick them, or would you like to be the picker of questions? I did look at that. That was the first one, and I kind of like the second one too. For each host, if you were in the Game of Thrones, which house would you choose to fight for, ally with, and why? Fight for or ally with, and why? Oh, man.

It changes depending on the time. If we have to start at the beginning of the series, it's going to be a different answer than now. Really? I don't know. I think it'd be maybe a Tyrell. I feel like the Tyrells, no matter how you shake it, they're going to be on top.

I know right now Loras and Margaery are both locked up, but that can't last forever. And I'm not choosing to be either of those. I feel like a Tyrell, you're rich, you're powerful, you live in some nice part of the world where there is no war, there's only peace. The Queen is from there

I think that's the way to go you don't have the craziness of the Lannisters and all their enemies you don't have the ridiculous Greyjoy shit going on you're not the only member left like a Stark I hear where you're coming from

and I think that's a good choice i kind of like the dornish too uh it seems like if you go almost anywhere else like if you're a tyrell and you're a bastard you know your last name is flower you don't even keep that guy's name you uh and you like you have no future you're you're like they just don't respect them. In terms of like love and stuff, it's all, it's either too formal or whatever. It's never passion based. If you go to the Dornish people, it lines up with my sense of morality a little bit closer. You know, like a bastard is a love child that everybody likes. You know, it's not like a big mistake.

And I don't know. I's not a big mistake. I don't know. I like the Dornish. Also, they have the other advantages of they're a powerful house, but they tend to live in peace. It seems like geographically they're farther away, although I'm not certain of that. That sort of isolates them to some extent. That seems nice.

Dornish is not bad. That makes sense. That is a good idea that's what i was leaning towards actually given the knowledge we know and because like if shit does hit the fan at least you have a big continent to flee into you know again not just kind of be shit out of luck in westeros yeah uh that would be my my answer but for the sake of being different uh beginning of the series i probably would have said lannister because it that just seemed like a dynasty that wasn't gonna fizzle out seemed like they had kind of everybody by a vice grip whether actively or passively like

everybody kind of had to even if you were noble you kind of had to bite the bullet and be like oh lord whatever the fuck like like, you give them the due respect. Even Ed Stark had to bow down to, you know, what was going on over there. Mm-hmm. Yeah, so that would be my choice. Okay. Yeah, I'm looking through these other questions. Kyle, I bet you have a good one.

Did Verka finish to completion on the last PKA, or was he just blue-balled for over three hours? See, believe it or not, those aren't the only two options you have you know like i did not finish because that would be i i would be very uncomfortable doing that on a on a skype call with yeah with kyle's face there the impression just making a weird face like sitting there the whole time like just trying to not look like a lunatic. Yeah. But also, it's not like... Come spring.

Yeah. Exactly. Oh, the keyboard. Give me a minute. Like, but also, it wasn't, no, it wasn't blue balled for three hours. It's not like it was that much going on down there. It was just a little bit of teasing and joking around, you know? A little bit of fondling and heavy petting.

Your girlfriend's tweet was awesome. Like that, I've had an affinity for crotches. And she's grabbing Goofy's crotch as like a seven-year-old girl. It was cute. Yeah, it was well played. Yeah, it was. She handled it really well. She just, like, immediately when I was like, oh, people saw you, you know,

throwing your arm over there, fooling around, grabbing at stuff, and she just you, you know, throwing your arm over there, fooling around, grabbing at stuff. And she just throwing your arm over there. That's how you throw it over there. Yeah, no, but it's just like,

yeah, it was pretty funny. I'm kind of, I'm obviously glad it happened, but I'm glad people caught it too. As I knew they would, because I was watching my own screen during that sometimes. And she was like,

given like the, she didn't look either she'd often be like this like right over to the side like just the most obvious coy look it was funny we got a kick out of that gift for whoever made that ooh count did you highlight that question yourself are Are you willing to take it on? I was just doing that. I was going to ask myself that question. Yeah, it says, hey, Kyle, what really happened to the FPS, Kyle? It's like there's some ulterior, like secret thing that happened.

It was seized from you. What government? What happened to the FPS, Kyle's Let's Play channel and all of the videos on it? I loved watching your videos back in the day, especially your Fallout stuff. Well, thank you. I'm glad you liked that. If he was a real fan, he'd know your Dead Space stuff was the pinnacle. Apparently so.

So what happened was I forgot the password to it, and I can't log into it anymore because I don't know what the fucking... That's the truth. I don't know the password to it or any of those accounts that you guys are like, what about this one that had that, had that 18-video series of Mario? I don't remember the password. Do you still get paid for them? Yeah, like $4 a year and $8 there at random periods during the year.

I never know Machinima's pay scale. I don't work with Machinima anymore, but I still get paid on that old stuff because it's on their channel. Oh, actually, no, I don't get paid for this because they're all private. I still get paid for the stuff that's on their channel. That's a completely different thing.

But yeah, I just forgot the password. I don't know it. If I could un-private it for you, I totally would. I'd like to look at that stuff, but I don't know how to do that. Those were a lot of good series. I enjoyed those. The one was great i wonder i oh i hate to say this because it's you know yeah i wonder if it was any good that's what he's about to go yeah like so there's a nostalgia effect right people will be like pka number 17 was the best that's ever been

and you watch it and like the audio levels are all uneven there's no video it's not we have no topics it's only one hour long if we had uploaded PKA 17 this week they would riot in the streets with that quality of like welcome to PKA 17 not just the audio

quality but even the conversation like you know big dead spaces no one knows what to talk about we're all Like, you know, big dead spaces. No one knows what to talk about. We're all kind of, you know, sort of figuring out our roles. And, like, you know, I think PKA's gotten better. Well, a lot of people are saying we're in a golden age. And, you know, we had Anthony Acumio on tonight.

That's pretty good. Like, you know, Mirka had a hand job last week. I know I enjoyed it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, so like this is fun stuff it's a good time um so yeah i wonder if you watched like a let's play from back in the day you'd be like ah no face cam no this no that like how it compares to current stuff like the current standard maybe it's better maybe it's not i don't know. It's never coming back, so I'll just remember it fondly,

Kyle. You never know. It's not something that I would... Every now and then, I want to make one, so I do. It's been a while. All it's going to take is for me to get passionate about a certain game for me to make videos

of that game. Right now, I'm really crazy about Civilization, but the problem is the games are so fucking long it's it's better suited to a screenshot series and that's lame so have you ever had like nostalgia ruined for you like where you convinced yourself and you really thought something was the best ever and then you went back and watched the movie the movies um it happens with movies and it's mostly those like kids movies that uh that i would just i don't know i went i went and watched bed knobs and broomsticks uh the other day which i loved as a kid and it actually held up pretty fairly well uh uh but there's a lot of them that just don't i know there's a lot of tv shows and like cartoon shows uh that i go back and watch

them it's like god you waste why were you sitting there? Big Bad Beetle Borgs? What the fuck is that? So there's plenty of stuff like that. But I think I've always had pretty good taste in movies. There aren't too many that I watch now that I'm just not turned on by anymore. I watched The Avengers this week, by the way. Have you seen it yet, Taylor? No, we went to go see a movie this past weekend. We saw Mad Max, which was so exciting.

It was so exciting. It was so exciting. It was great. I got 40 minutes into it, and it didn't feel like 40 minutes. And I kind of realized this action scene that started about four minutes in hasn't ended. It's just been a 36-minute action scene. And then there's a little bit of dialogue almost out of necessity where the director's like, Cut, I guess we should throw something in here. It's a little bit of dialogue almost out of necessity where the director's like, cut, I guess we should throw something in here. It's a little bit of talking.

But did you like it? Because Jurassic Park 3 was like that, and it was kind of lame. No, it was done well. I like how much you can tell how much Borderlands pulled from it as an influence, like the whole over-the-top guitar-playing guy where it's really silly but the fact that they're embracing it as silly like they're not using tanks that presumably would have been left in this you know future as well they're using like an old 58 cadillac with giant

rims with spikes for no reason like it's it's it's a cool aesthetic i liked it a lot you're gonna you're gonna enjoy that movie kyle knowing i like the Mad Max movies. I've seen them all. I'm a big fan of the series. I like it. I can't wait to ask this to Kyle. Listening to Kyle talk about his past in car sales has been on my mind for at least a year or so. Yesterday, I decided to

bite the bullet and apply to work for BMW Mini. What advice would you give to someone who wants to start a career in the car sales game? Don't you have any other alternatives? There's nothing else you could do? Seriously, it's a really draining job. You won't have

any free time. Even if you make a lot of money, you'll spend it on things that you just use to go to work. I saw the guys who were career guys doing that they'd have you know they'd be wearing eighty thousand dollars for the shit they'd have like a thirty thousand dollar bracelet and a twenty five thousand dollar watch and and they all had these these custom-made suits and it was just they were like it was like

you're a car salesman but you're dressed like like you're the CEO of a Fortune 500 company that happens to be pimps anonymously. It's ridiculous right now. But the thing is, there's no reason for them to spend it on something they're going to use outside of the office because they stay there all the time. So if you're comfortable with that... You're not really selling the job you shouldn't want to do the job it's not a fun job the what i think um you just need to find an older friendly salesman who will be your kind of mentor that's what you need you need a guy who every time you make a mistake he's going to show you what you did wrong why are there career people at so many of those

places though especially like the high-end places if you can't do anything else but they got them but they got to have that income these are guys who um they got phased out of some career uh you know they're they're the 40 year old guy who got replaced by a computer maybe or uh or just you know they just got phased out of whatever they used to do it's just not a thing anymore maybe they were a dot-commer who used to do well or something like that. A lot of those guys had lots and lots of child support, and they had to add another zero to their monthly income or something. They had to make a ton more money. There's guys with family members with health problems and stuff. You can make a ton of money doing it, but you've just got to work yourself to death.

You've got to work constantly. If the sun's up, you've got to be selling cars. And then you can make $10,000, $20,000, $30,000 a month depending on the pay scale, what you're selling, used or new, how much traffic you've got. So the answer

is try to find something better. But if you want to get into it, I don't know. You need a mentor. You need a guy there who's an older guy who knows the business and knows that store. And you can kind of work who will take you under his wing that's definitely the way to go i had an old black guy from detroit named peyton who was who uh who would tell me crazy stories about people trying to rob him went on test drives and stuff and and uh and all kinds of crazy stuff like that so yeah i i often think i wonder if car salesman's a good job for a teacher And all kinds of crazy stuff like that.

I often think, I wonder if car salesman is a good job for a teacher, right? Because they need a job in the summer. They can run it for three months or so. What job is he going to pick? It's not like you're going to start a whole career and be like, all right, I'm going to learn this skill. I'm going to be a network administrator. I'm going to be a nurse. I'm going to do whatever, right?

For three months a year? No. You need a job that you can get hired for and do something. You work at Home Depot. Summer jobs on the boardwalk, if that's an option for you. Car salesman seems like a pretty professional gig that a teacher might be good at. They can typically speak. Maybe they should sell cars in the summer no it's it's not like something you could just pick up and do those are so some some people would make the distinction like uh like other salesmen or management would make the distinction between a salesman and order taker if you're an order taker you're basically making making minimum wage for your like crazy

amount of time you have to be a salesman to get more gross and to get that little bit that's always there on the table that only a salesman could get you gotta you gotta be able to ask those closing questions you've gotta you've gotta be able to to sell the upsell you know no sir you need that perma play in the back of your head yeah like yeah because that perma plate's 250 in my pocket that's my money like fuck this 40 000 car this lady's gotten me down to like all my gross is gone i'm gonna make 50 it's not even worth my time at 50 i'm making like 15 an hour here and i'm doing a shitload of paperwork and having her car detailed for like that's bullshit i gotta sell this permaplate and i gotta get that extra

200 and it's actually worth my time today and that. So you might not be able to pick that up in a week or two. When I got my truck, it had the undercoating for $750. Total garbage. I get this, right? Taken, I think. The thing is, every single car on the lot had it. And apparently the Toyotas were all shipped in from like Southeast Toyota in Georgia or something. And every car out of his distributor has it.

And I'm like, oh, it's unavoidable, it sounds like. Well, what is it literally? Like was it some sort of like something you would look at and see? I never saw it, no. Then how do you know it was on it? I don't know it was on it. I just didn't know how to avoid it. That's the thing

first you want to say could you prove to me that it's on the car and then it has well if you look closely you'll uh no not really i can't do you do you have any proof that you put it on the car okay well you say it does this and that let's expose the car to this and that and see how it fares because all right so what we would do we we called it Permaplate, and it was for the fabric and the carpet. And it actually worked, but we didn't put it on the cars. We just sold you the warranty. That way we don't ever have to sell the product.

We only have to account for the one out of a thousand people who comes back and says, hey, I got some chocolate pudding on my seat, Permaplate didn't save the day and I paid $7.95 for it. What gives? That never once happened to me. I never saw it happen. I'm told it happened once. Can't confirm. But we were to sell it left and right, $800. And we even had these like fabric swatches. One's got the Permaplate, one doesn't. You pour some ketchup and it's like hydrophobic almost in the way it just you know gets rid of and cleans up nicely and it's it's something that you would want on your car and i sold it without a bit of guilt because we are selling the warranty when your seat inevitably gets stained because we didn't put any magic shit on it just come back we'll give you a new seat like we never even specified what we do like we'd literally if you kept complaining we'd put a new seat in your car like were people aware of that

or was it so they were okay well then i was aware you should kind of feel guilty about that they got the warranty no but that's not what they paid for you misled them actually it is what they paid for they paid for it's not what they thought they were getting yeah exactly i saw woody's face like and he's like and i don't feel guilty about it at all woody's eyebrows just not at all i never felt guilty about one mistruth or lie whatever you want to call it i remember i when I, this is early in my first met Kyle. No, this won't be bad, I don't think. And I was wondering how I do in the car sales game. And because I thought to myself, well, I'm a pretty good speaker. I'm sociable. You know,

I do well when I meet new people. And I think everyone who succeeds on YouTube probably has the aptitude to work in sales to some extent. But without saying it outright, he was kind of like, no, Woody. You know, you got to be a guy that thrives on like fucking up somebody's financial future. And I'm not sure that's you. You'd be like, yeah, just sign right there and you will not be able to afford any of your payments going forward like this is your life now yes this is your yeah and now your life's over thank you yes i'll get it wrapped right up yeah for the next six years you are going to struggle to make this payment and you will only enjoy this car for two months how do they even think that

because i've never purchased a new car like when they see the payments on it Like if it says like 800 a month or whatever 300 a month I don't know for how high of an end the car is and ask what the term is I've sold people on the payment on the payment per month, and they didn't even know what the term was Which is the duration if anybody yeah? Yeah, and we bump people up past 72 months if their credit was good enough. We put you up to like 84 months or whatever it is. It's not even a round number anymore.

You're like, I've never heard 84 months? Are you sure? That's seven years, I think, right? Yeah, add another year. Yeah. You add another 12 months to a 72. Yeah, and if they have good credit, you can do that to them. And so you would ask the most

basic questions like, what would it take for you to buy the car today? Or you could even start from like the ABCs. You'd be like, okay, we drove the car. I've told you about all of its features. We've compared it to things like the Camry and the Accord. We've looked at the differences and we see that our product definitely beats them in all these categories that you claimed were important to you. And also, I think we can meet that payment per month plan that you were looking for. So what would you say on a scale from 1 to 10, 1 being you're not interested in the car anymore and 10 being I'm ready to take it home today, where are you right now on that

scale from 1 to 10? Then I'd give you a 7. Okay, 7. That's not too bad. I hope I didn't do anything to make you mad today. Let me ask you, though. What would it take to get you to a ten? And then they can renegotiate.

How much? Well, then they're going to tell me... Usually a price. Yeah, a price, a number. They'll say half... I just... They have to give me an answer to that. Well, if the payment were better, okay.

So if I could get that payment to $378 a month, and we could fit it in with these other bills because sometimes i'd do their whole fucking budget for them we'd be like writing out their other bills their income doing the math showing seeing if they could afford it or not and then oh okay well let's take that payment down 15 more dollars a month and add a year to it and let me take it back to my manager and and they'd sign on that. Sometimes the contract would be the number 400, a circle around it, a line with an X, and then they'd sign on that, and it's like, that's it.

Do you have a lot of free reign as far as pricing? Yeah. Well... Of course not, like, total free reign. Like, a buddy can't come in, and you're like, all right, 100 bucks for one month. Like, you know. i've done both those so i i don't think they didn't they never told us you've got free reign but just by watching other salesmen and seeing what the managers would kind of do

cavalierly i kind of figured i could take my own to i just took it upon myself to do it anyway no one ever said i was allowed to negotiate the way i was i negotiated but i would just say it anyway. No one ever said I was allowed to negotiate the way I was I negotiated but I would just say it anyway and it because I saw that at the end of the day they're either gonna walk out of there or they're gonna buy the car like so if I if I piss off a few customers nobody's really gonna care because 90% I'm turn around and walk out anyway so who cares if I broom a few. That's how I picked up girls in the summer. What was the longest amount of time someone came in and pissed away your time where you really thought, like, they're in.

I got them for this F-150 or whatever. And then they were like, nah, and then just left. There were a few who wasted my time early on before I got wise to that. But after a while, I got good at, I think that was one of the things I was better at, it was pre-qualifying people, not just about their credit and the amount of money they had, but also about their seriousness, like how dedicated they were to actually coming here and buying a car or something. I don't know, a couple hours, two or three, something like that. The worst really is when they want to buy the car,

but at the end of the day, they can't. It's one of those things where the finance manager's like, yeah, we can make this work. You've got a 637 Beacon, and you're making $6,500 a month. Okay, Blimey's calculating. I think I can go through SunTrust or maybe Ford Motor Credit. They've got a new thing. This man lists 7.9%. Oh, we can get rid of that 3.2%, blah, blah, blah.

And hours go by. And your job is to be the clown, to entertain this customer who's sitting there drinking cup after cup of shitty coffee while they wait for this guy to tell them whether they can get the Camry or not. And you've got to keep them cheery enough that they don't just finally say you know what fuck all this i'm going home i could be watching seinfeld right now and so i've spent a lot of time doing that only to find out they couldn't buy the car asking for a friend if you can buy the car cash is that the kind of thing you keep hidden until the end are they gonna like are they gonna assume you're a man of means and screw you

i don't think it means anything at all it doesn't it wouldn't mean anything at all to me as a salesman it certainly isn't going to impress me um it's not gonna because you know what are you are you because i've seen people buy cars for cash that were really expensive and i've seen like uh what was that rapper's name little young jeezy young jeezy came in one time and bought like five of his guys all like matching chargers so it's like you're not gonna impress me by like drop you and be like i'm writing a check for this today so uh let's get on it you know it's i'm just like oh great so i won't make any money on the back end great sir that's great i get paid less when you do that uh some cases. So should they keep that a secret

until the very end? Yeah. I don't know. It probably wouldn't matter too much to me. You'd get the same service and you'd get the same pricing and everything most likely. We'd just hit you in a different way when you got to financing. You'd have to tell us.

It's time to go to financing and you'd tell the next guy. You're dealing with two salesmen. You've got to keep that Like, you'd have to tell us. You're like, all right, it's time to go to financing, and you'd tell the next guy. You're dealing with two salesmen. You've got to keep that in mind at most dealerships anyway. But I just feel like if I keep that in my hip pocket, and you think, all right, all right, all right, I didn't get him with the permaplating, I didn't get him with this, but we'll fuck him with the financing.

And then you're like, ah, I'm invulnerable to finance fucking. Well, usually the way it works is the salesman doesn't get paid very much on that back end anyway. Like, the dealership is going to get you one way or another. They're usually not going to sell a unit if they're not turning a profit unless it's sort of an end of the month or end of the year or end of some time period like game where it's more important to sell 300 cars this quarter than it is to not lose 500 bucks on one. We're at $299. Let's get to 300 fuck a little loss it's uh one of those deals i bought a ford focus for invoice price it turned out to be like

the last day of march it was probably end of month end of quarter maybe i could have done better i don't know but you could have not much better like not significantly better yeah i mean focus like like you could have done 600 better and and and if you got a nice focus like there's more that was a stick shift option so like the most expensive focus has the most you know uh margin I'm sure this was the cheapest focus it was like a stick shift well like three two hundred dollars yeah Could have gotten $200 more off. Just rest easy, Woody. It's just fine. No one made a dime off you that day. One thing for people to do, though, because it's kind of the age of tons of online car buying and stuff,

and there's so much information that you really can do your research, go into the dealership, and get the car for virtually less than what the dealer paid for it. Remember that salesman's putting in a few hours of time so it's generally a cool thing to tip your salesman. Well, that's horseshit. That can't be a thing.

No one tips their car salesman, do they? Yes, absolutely. It's a nice thing to tip your car salesman because he's probably going to pay a lot less than you think. If you're smart enough to be like listening to us right now, and then you know that the next time you buy a car, you're going to consider this. And maybe you're going to do a little research to get a better deal. You're not one of the people who we make money off of. We make money off of stupid people. They come in and just sign right up. What if I went back to, to, you know and I said, dude, I'll give you $200 in your pocket if you can save me $2,000.

Oh, I'd love for you to ask me that question. Done? I wanted to offer that so many times. time the guy's like i know that you know he's been whittling money out of me but i know i still got another 2 200 to go and i'm doing the math in my head and like doing my i'm like shit i want to be like dude how about this i'll talk for every i'm not 2200 more dollars off this car just between you and me you give me half of it all right like i want to do that but i know he's gonna like tell on me immediately and he's still gonna get that deal but i'm gonna i'm not the one writing the paperwork out up because i'm fired now but absolutely i always could like that was in my

head and it was many there were many times when i could have done it uh like it would have made sense to do it where like they're like yeah all got to do is write a number here, you sign it, and he's going to say yes. I know that for a fact in this scenario. I want to offer that, but I never would. I think it's probably a crime

to do that. I'm not exactly sure what the charge is. It's probably a crime, but I put it in that same category as breaking the Call of Duty street date. I was afraid. Or like getting Sprite when you paid for water. I think that's fraud. And it would be because of the large dollar amount.

I think it might be embezzlement or a kickback or something. I don't. But yeah, that's totally a thing. Like, feel free to maybe bribe the guy. I never considered suggesting that to people, but totally you could bribe the guy. Yeah. Kyle, you're obviously a very smooth speaker and I could see how you would excel in this and be really good.

What was you, because you said the finance guy would be in the back doing a bunch of work maybe for an hour, two hours hours you're trying to entertain the dude what were your tactics like your go-to's to keep people there like whatever it depends how much money they were worth um like like if i was making a lot of money off their deal there was one guy who was buying a mustang cobra and it was like a 2000 i might be wrong about this i know they only make the cobras like once every couple of years so correct me if i'm wrong but i think it was like a 2000, I might be wrong about this. I know they only make the Cobras like once every couple of years. So correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it was the 2004 Mustang Cobra. It was the previous body style, the one before the 2005, when it got all retro. But it was mint. It's this thing had like 4,300 miles on it. It was black convertible.

I think it either had red leather interior or tan. Either way, it was all perfect. It was a 100% car. And we were charging like $40,000 for it or something. $30,000. $32,000. Yeah, it was $32,000. It's in my head now. We're charging $32,000 for it. We had taken it in for $22,000. That's $10,000 of profit. I was going to get like a third of that in my pocket. So, and it was getting close to the end. It was like a Friday or something like this was going to cap off a pay period. And I wanted that money and I needed it at the time, I think. And his credit was iffy. It was just right on the borderline. And like, I don't know, I took him out on a test drive with it. I was like, let's drive and get some dinner while they

work on this thing. So like he drives the Cobra. He like takes me some, and the whole time he's like, no, no, I know what it can do. I know what it can do. I don't need to drive it. He refused to drive it. And I, but you got to make him drive it. It's about the sizzle, not the steak. So he drives it and it's raw.

It's so deep and throaty and sexy. And that six speed shifter is just tilted over to the left. Just perfectly. It fits your palm. And that and that clutch is so fucking stiff. It feels like you're operating a race car. This is a real SVT performance fucking machine. It's not an everyday street car anymore. You're in a race car now, sir.

And, you know, I go buy him a burrito or whatever, and six and a half hours later, his financing came through. My manager wouldn't take a dime off. He refused to not make $10, his financing came through. My manager wouldn't take a dime off. He refused to not make $10,000 on that Mustang. So stuff like that, just kissing their ass, just entertaining their kids, fucking around with other salesmen, putting balloons on the other salesmen to make my people laugh. I used to do this prank to Rich Domville.

If anybody knows a guy who's about 50 years old named Rich Domville, I'm so sorry, Rich, for the hell I did. I was 19, dude. What the fuck? I couldn't help it. This guy. I ruined his days. He wasn't a good salesman. He started the same time as I did.

I was much better than he ever was. He never did very well and he he just had a hard time and i would steal his chair for his desk chair while he was with customers like just turned around for an instant and i have it and it was gone and and nobody would know what had happened and he'd just be like what the what and he'd have these meltdowns and he'd lose customers. And we thought it was hilarious. But I was just kind of a prankster.

I would, on Saturdays, we always had helium balloons in the showroom. And I would tie the balloon to a paper clip, bend one end out so there was a hook. I'd walk up behind you and hook it on your belt loop. Now you're a walking clown. You just got a balloon with you all the time. Sometimes I'd write something on the balloon. You're greeting customers with a... The game eventually became how many balloons can you put on the guy before he knows it. We'd get to six or seven sometimes.

There was this one guy who started, and he was really high strung. He had a lot of nervous tics. He didn't get along with anyone. He was, he, um, he just had all, he had a lot of nervous tics. He, he didn't get along with anyone. He was very overweight. He sweat, he would sweat so much. He would just be soaking through the collars of his white shirts and stuff, but he was huge. He was like six foot six, I guess. I got to look up at this guy and he had like, his neck was like really craned forward, this big 45 year old intimidating guy and for some reason i thought it would be a good idea to cover his phone uh headset like the the both ends of it with ink from one of those ink sets like that you you know use on stamps like the legit ink i inked his phone

then i go to my desk when my buddy saw and i uh dial his extension fucking call him up and it's big goopy like half circle here and his whole ear on the inside is all black he didn't notice for like an hour but he knew who did it he's fucking screaming at me in the middle of the showroom floor like like threatening me like like are you filled with regret at this point i'm just laughing at him it's great so i was kind of a dick yeah yeah i can agree with that that's a genuinely mean-spirited thing to do to another human being that every day i did that every day like i was funny the balloon thing was funny i would also tape balloons to the to the bathroom door you

know use double double side scotch tape and then i would glue a thumbtack to the wall so when the door opens thumbtack plus balloon and you get a loud explosion from a helium balloon in a bathroom and just scared the fuck out of everybody all day long and to the point where like the salesman who hadn't been pranked or just who had already been pranked or just waiting on the next one like you know i added some fun to the uh to the office it was it was a real uh there's a lot of drudgery to it everybody's hauling in there every morning early early as fuck drinking our shitty bitter coffee. And, you know, needed to add some laughs to the day so there wouldn't be some cries.

I used to fuck with people at Cisco. But looking back, I'm not sure it was nice. Like, so it mostly interns, right? If there was an intern that worked with me or for me, oh, fuck. It was just dumb stuff. Like, you know, you have a flat screen monitor. I'd swap it out with a CRT. Everyone had these office chairs that were like padded with arms and wheels on it.

I'd give them a wooden stool. Just fuck with it. You know, they go off to lunch, cube filled with boxes from head to toe. And sometimes the boxes look like trash. Like it wasn't just nice clean boxes. It was like packing materials and peanuts and shit like that all stacked to the top. And some of the interns would laugh and be like, all right, all right, who's got my chair? Other people are like, oh, fuck, my chair got downgraded.

Well, you know, I guess this is my new life, you know, sitting on a wooden stool. It's like too high for the desk. Yeah, yeah, exactly. You know, and I just mess with them all the time uh you know even dumb stuff like they had their names on the cubes to put a different name in there i've told the story about the calling the salesman pretending i was a customer and and like you know telling him i wanted to take off his underwear and everything right like i've told that one a bunch of times maybe i don't it must have been a

long while ago i'll tell it fast i know people don't like it when you retell stories but if you tell them in fast forward it's totally cool yep i won't do that i'll tell it in uh in in medium speed i'll slow it down even more if i want to fuck you guys so um there was one guy who came to work at the dealership his name was m Miti, M-I-T-I. He was from the same place as the water, Fiji, like the actual place. And his real, he wouldn't tell us his last name ever. I think because he thought we'd mispronounce it, and he wasn't interested in teaching us his name,

and that pissed me off. Because it's like, well, you don't think I'm fucking capable of pronouncing your name? You're going to work here with me 78 hours a week and i can't fucking learn your name fuck you so i already didn't like midi i felt like he was his wife was a doctor and she was the real bread winner of the family and uh and and i felt like midi would just had a had a chip on his shoulder because of that and and he was always just a little shithead he's like 50 years old and i'm 19 keep that in mind and uh and But we're co-workers and his English is very abrupt and sharp and Mitty is quick to learn but he's not going well.

And so I call Mitty from an inside line. I got like three or four of my buddies around me. I got Austin, my friend from Nigeria, this big black guy. I got my friend Saul from Lithuania. He's a skinny white guy that I ended up being roommates with. And I got Francisco, who's from fucking Mexico City, and he'd giggle like a schoolgirl. He's like 60 years old at the time. And so I call him up on his line. I see Mitty answer the phone. That's the best part, when you can physically get to see him engage with you.

And it's like you get to do that. And I put on my gay voice, which is a bit insulting. I won't do it now. Just stereotypical lispy gay voice. Hi there. How are you doing? I'd like to buy an F-150. Oh, absolutely.

I'll buy all the options, sweetie. So I just went on and on like that, basically like pumping this guy up. Like, yeah, I'm ready to come in now, now, now, now, now. When I buy a car, I buy a car. I'm like taking any of his fears away. I'm him know i'm a customer i'm coming in today this is more of an appointment i'm setting up i don't want to you don't have to whine and dime me i'm i'm easy to bed here i'm getting that across to him 100 and then i drop the the dime on him like all right but here's the thing every time i buy a car i like to take a little something from the

salesman one guy took his tie. One guy took one of his socks. It was silly. I took another guy's belt when I bought a nice Camaro one year. With you, Mitty, I got to ask you, could you do something like that? Oh, yes, absolutely. You come and buy the car. Today we make a deal.

Oh, okay, wonderful. Mitty, I got to ask, boxers or briefs? And it's just quiet. And you can see he's over there like fucking school girls laughing our asses off i'm like let's hear let's hear he's fucking briefs i'm like wow i'll tell you what i'll be there in 35 minutes midi i've got my brother he's bringing me down he's that way he can take my car home. I'm keeping it, but I want that F-150. So if he can get it brought around, I'll pay whatever the sticker price is. That's how I do business. No muff, no fuss. And I'm going to need that underwear in hand when I get there. agrees to it, everything's sold. He walks past us to the bathroom to take off his underwear.

And that's when we let him have it. He turned redder than any Asian man has ever turned. He was so humiliated. In a way that you can only humiliate an Asian man. Like a white guy could have shook this off,

but not him. It was like I fucking chipped away at Generations of Honor. And we're in this face-off where I'm like, I'm six foot two of me in my like business, in my like suit shoes or whatever. They're kind of lifted on the bottom.

And he's all of like five foot five. And he fucking does this underhanded karate punch like this and punches me in the stomach and i'm certainly not ruse wayne or anything but if i see somebody gonna hit me in the stomach i had enough like locker room bouts in high school to like tighten up really quick and it didn't hurt at all and i was just like fuck your problem bitty and i just pushed him and so i and when i push him he got he was kind, we were kind of up on this raised platform. So he stumbles backwards and falls on some desks.

And there's the general manager right there. CJ Turner just walked in. And he just saw me push this old guy down some stairs. He's like, Kyle, what you doing, Kyle? You're my soldier, Kyle. What you doing starting fights in the showroom floor? Kyle's the assassin! I was! I was!

You're my assassin! Not like this! Not like this! I turned to Chris Tucker or something and I'm like, Whoa, whoa, whoa! Let me explain! And I very quickly explained to him what had just happened and he just, he's just like, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH was possible he turned even redder midi turned even redder and never spoke to me again never looked at me again like ever that was the last time we ever had any sort of uh back and forth or even like eye contact from that day forward he worked there for like another 10 months or something that is that was really really fucking funny that was the midi but that is also really really mean because this isn't just like a prank where you're like

doing something with their their tea or something where it's like oh there's not as much sweetener as you anticipated i put salt in your water it's something where it's like he's sitting there like oh my god i can sell this car um my wife she can get a new dress we'll be able to go out this month my kids i'll be able to get the n64 i'll be i'll be the hero that they want me to be and then it's some little shit-eating punk sitting across the way oh lord man the way you describe this sounds like it was animal house in the showroom like what were customers doing as you were berating Asian men for, you know, taking the underwear off? It's only busy at certain times. We're doing this because there's nothing else to do.

There are no customers. Why are you working so many hours, then? You said you have to work tons of hours. Can't you just cherry pick the good ones? No, you got to be there in case somebody strolls in. Because if somebody walks in at a weird time, it might be because they took off work. It seems like you could work 20% of the hours and make 80% of the money.

You're like a fishnet. It's a numbers game. Yeah, on Saturday afternoon, that's when you're going to be able to see a lot more people. But that doesn't mean you can call in on Tuesday. You've got to be there Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. It's a grind. You've got to be that net in the ocean waiting on.

Because the contacts you make on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, those are some of your guaranteed sales on Saturday. Those are the guys who come back and actually do buy it's that's how it works if you don't put in all those crazy hours it just doesn't seem productive well this guy got his money's worth

out of his Patreon question he sure did, well Patreon we thank you for getting that out of Kyle it cost like $10 yeah, that's a steal Hop on board Patreon.com slash PKA Annotations on the side link in the description

Let's do more I'm looking This one keeps Grabbing my eye My question is should I take a job that doubles my current salary and is full-time, 44K per year, or go back to my old job, $8 an hour, and finish school faster? I presume he means like college, university. Full-time at 44K or part-time.

It's almost faster. And that's not double, by by the way because $8 per hour is $16,000 per year. So $44,000 is like triple. Mm-hmm. What do you think? I think you should take the $44,000 and continue.

We need more information and it depends how much slower we're talking but I think you take the $44,000 because that's not too shabby and you continue with your schooling and you get done as soon as you can yeah i'm tempted to say take the money unless you think there's a real chance that you'll quit school you know if you are in 44k without school and you decide that this is good enough for you whereas you otherwise would have launched yourself into the six digits but instead you're you're there forever um then you've made a career mistake yeah there are a lot of contingencies because like presumably there's

nothing going to be keeping you from going back later in life like it looks like you got an opportunity now for that amount of money a year do that for a couple years if you hate it go back and finish school but don't turn away a sure thing like that and of course this depends how much that is relatively by where you're living or you know what expenses he has but i think that's the good option and if you're like majoring in engineering or something where it's going to be a like computer you know something where you know you're going to have a great job right out of college then maybe just stick with the school get done with it and enter the you know workforce in that career but if you're doing like english lit or something that you just are doing because you enjoy it absolutely take that money and then if

you want to finish it up because it's a passion later in life then do that yeah yeah but don't take the job if it means you're not actually going to finish school you should probably finish school you'll be glad you did i was wondering if the hosts have had a midlife crisis and if so what was it if not what do they think that theirs will consist of have you had a midlife crisis you guys are a little young for that uh what do you think yours will be about if you get one i don't think i'll have one because i i think um i think that's something that uh that happens when you don't do the things that you want to do in life. I think that's when you get to the midpoint of your life and you look back at what you've done

and you think it's lame and you're like, ah, I didn't take advantage of this opportunity and that opportunity and now I'm just drudging away and the drudgery's never going to end now, is it? So hopefully, I don't get to that point. I don't think any of us uh here will i hope not

anyway there was a thing and i've told this story many times but like so i worked at cisco for a good long time i think it was 13 years and uh i never really considered that there were more entertaining lives out there right it wasn't wasn't until YouTube happened. I did it forever. And then something, like, it popped in my head, like, as I watched Kyle do his job and other YouTubers do their thing. I think I was talking to White Boy a lot at the time. And it was just like, look at these people.

And I swear it would literally happen. Like, I'd stick my head, like, above the cube and look around. And, like, this is... swear it would literally happen like I'd stick my head like above the cube and look around and and like like this is this is soul-sucking for me like this is somehow my expectations just went higher and and I you see a sea of cubes I don't know if you guys have ever been in an office environment where there's like a sea of cubes and you see over all of them and i'm there's like 250 people in my site that i can see all of them working there just head on you know hands on the keyboard face on the monitor and i'd done that for you know 20

years although not all of it it's just go and uh and it would like i don't know if you call it a midlife crisis but it became this sort of like, I want to try something else. Like there's, there's a better life out there and it's not an awful life. I mean, if you roll the, if you look at my life pre YouTube, you roll the dice, you know, a six sided die, it was probably a four or five. But, um, I didn't know there were sixes out there that they were realistic for me. And, you know, so now you've got yourself a real thick six. Yeah, but I don't know. So midlife crisis, if you call it that,

I decided to sort of take a flyer on myself. And I've talked about this betting on yourself stuff too. I see people like, you know what? I'm going to bet on me. I'm going to be a full-time YouTuber. Meanwhile, they're getting like a thousand views a video. No, asshole. Bad bet. Bad bet. Bad bet. Bad bet. If you want to bet on yourself, fucking stack the deck before you place your bet. Don't just be like, I'm going to jump off a cliff and give it a go and hope that things are okay.

Stack the deck, asshole. You lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy piece of shit. If you're not stacking the deck before you bet on yourself, what the fuck is wrong with you? You know, work, asshole. Work two jobs. Do whatever it takes. Fucking set yourself up for success before you take this chance. And, you know, I've watched person after person on YouTube bet on themselves. I swear everyone's going to think I'm talking about one guy, but I'm not.

I'm talking about lots of people. Stack the deck so that when you make this bet, it's a sure thing. That's how you do it. When I left Cisco, I was making as much off YouTube as I was from Cisco. Like if, if it, it wasn't a bad bet, you know, it was a good bet. And, um, uh, yeah. So I guess if I'm answering the midlife crisis question again, to circle back to it, I feel like sometimes the midlife crisis isn't so much that this is terrible. It can also take the form of there's a better life. And it certainly wasn't a, oh, my gosh, I've made it here, and this is a train wreck.

I'm not satisfied with where I am. It was just like, I wonder what else we can do about this. That's a good answer. And that's where it happened to me. That's a very good answer. I should make a short clip of that very motivating i can't even begin to answer this question i'm 20 you're way too young no perspective yeah i'm way too young as well how different because the 18 version 18 year old version of you would have tackled it head-on I know this I will never have this midlife crisis because I have it all figured out

sophomore in high school Taylor he could have told you a thing or two I like the question about asking me if I'd ever do another boot camp I definitely would so I think I'd be willing to do one for Chiz for free. Just bring yourself and let's have some fun. Is he still heavy enough to constitute that? Because I haven't seen him in a while, but I figured he was losing quite a bit with his diet. He needs to get physical with it.

I think he stays cooped up too much. I think we need to get him out there doing some Jeremy pulls, get him dressed up like a gorilla or something, doing some jumping jacks, swatting at drones as they fly at him like King Kong. We can have some fun this time around. Can I just – on the Chiz thing, I think, in my opinion, losing weight is not about the activity. It's about the diet.

It's diet, diet, diet. You can't exercise away a bad diet. But I think that what Chizis does he hits the diet hard and he kind of yo-yos with it like it comes and goes some weeks he'll be mega disciplined more than a hollywood star and then the next week not so much yeah i didn't want to make a chis thing i was just saying for chis oh i would do one for free however i think if i were going to do that again for anybody else that I can even think of, I would have to charge just to make it... For one thing, to keep myself in check, because if I'm not getting paid, I'm going to have a hard time.

You're not going to be motivated. I'm not going to be as motivated. And for another, it's just too much of my time I saw last time to just give away for free. It was a big commitment on my part that I made, and it took precedent over a lot of other things that I had going on at the time. What would the charge be? Have you thought about it? It would be high. I mean, for a month. Yeah. For a month, somewhere between $15,000 and $30,000. It would be absurd. It's too

expensive to do. I'm not saying don't come to the FPS Kyle boot camp, starting at only $15,000. I'm saying if you wanted me to do that again, you'd have to pay me $500 a day. You just would. I don't know why else I would do it. The man's a multi-trillionaire. He's not going to do this for free. His time is too valuable. yeah this time is too valuable that is oh you'd have to do some like guaranteed results yeah yeah absolutely totally have one person in for a lower price that like you see in them you can just turn it around like yeah right and then have them as the photo child the poster child yeah people were trying to make that wasn't wings trying to like do that with somebody at one point wasn't he trying to become someone's poster child

i think that that i think he had like weight loss supplements like contacting him on twitter or something like that or something like that and they wanted him to like be their poster child and i was like wait a fucking minute he's my poster child my mother, I don't know if I told this story, but my mom called me this week, and she listens to every minute of this show. So hi, Mom. Oh, Jesus. Yeah. Hi, Woody's mom.

Yeah, she knows all about your handy. So anyway, that's all right. If you've watched the show much, my mom's not a virgin. So anyway, back on topic. She's like, oh, I bet you'd like to see your fat mom right now. My mom's lost a bunch of weight. I haven't seen her since Christmas or something like that. And she's lost a bunch of weight.

It's partly through exercise, but it's partly through medicine. Like I think she's taking testosterone, like, you know, she's older and, uh, you know, putting her hormones back at the level that maybe a younger woman would have T and E and who knows what. And, um, and I, I don't want to get her meds wrong, but I thought someone said there was an ADD medicine in there, ADHD medicine medicine which everyone knows sort of ups your energy level and kind of lowers your appetite so you take all those things and put them together and apparently I have a skinny mom and be taking when she was a little heavy down and becomes more and more attractive

need like a some sort of like professional great help down there he's gonna be tearing that up and there's not as much cushion there anymore friction fires in bed friction fires in bed i hate to have a cabinet like attached to those one of those fucking disney cruises like i hope those balls they would ruin your vacation yeah and then like like they are older so they're not in their prime, so if you did hear something going on, you'd be like, all right, something's happening,

something's going on, and they come out, and they're 75, and it's like, oh, ew. Are they, I'm just wondering, are they really into, like, what do you call it, like, public displays of affection? Is there a lot of kissing and hugging

and touching in public? Like, when they're on the railing of this yeah yeah disney i think they're looking at are they going to be getting a little grabby and making out a little and hugging on each other not that no no they would be hugging uh certainly some hand holding possibly some hand on waist action you know like that dual kind of couple waist hold thing. And I think my mom is definitely down with inappropriate touching, but she is Mirka's girlfriend, 50 years experience advanced. You would have a hard time catching my mom. It's very rare. I see.

So she's like a handjob ninja. That's actually what i call her around that this is uh this new segment of the show we'll be doing every week yeah yeah no i i i she uh she very rarely rarely gets caught but I know that it happens, and I suspect it happens a lot more often than I know. But, yeah, she's affectionate. I think she's a good wife. It sounds like it. That's something that usually fizzles away once you get that old, either out of disinterest or out of just not having the tools to do it.

Like you're just so old it's like you just can't i don't know how old they are uh they're in their 60s i think my father might be i'm gonna i'm gonna probably get this wrong but if i were to toss out numbers i'd say 67 and 65 so that's not super super old yet like i was thinking more like once you get to like 76 or something it almost gets to be like just dust on bone. No, just nothing. You know, one thing that's interesting. Dust on bone.

Just dryness. Dryness and friction and disinterest on both sides because you're more interested in watching Hannity. You're not far off on the Hannity thing. Not at all. What was I going to say? I had a thing on the tip of my tongue. My parents.

It wasn't just sex. Hopefully it comes back. Hopefully not. I was thinking about my parents and it wasn't just about fucking or sex. No, that can't be right. That's usually what dominates my thoughts about. I don't remember. Oh, it was about sex.

I was going to retell the story. I feel like the story. I feel like the defining, like, I remember one time I got into a fight with a friend of mine because my mother had it. I've told this story before, but he was my best friend. And he was making fun of me because I somehow mentioned that my mom had a, I guess we'll call it like a growth or some sort of tumor or a lump. A lump is the best word to use on like her pubic mound or something like that. And I didn't know what to think of it or make of that or whatever. It was like, oh, my mom has a lump on her pubic mound. How embarrassing. She had to like have a doctor help her with it or something. It wasn't until like 20 years later, I was like, wait a minute.

What was that thing called? And like, look, it was from repeated pounding. Like that was the source of her injury. Repeated pounding on my mom's. Rough sex. Just trauma. Blunt force trauma. Could you imagine the beating it's going to be taking right now, I'd say.

Right now they are on a Disney cruise somewhere. 11 p.m. They're somewhere off the coast of Alaska. It's something. I think they're going to Greenland. She called me as they were exiting port. I think they took the ship from Florida to New York City, and they were exiting New York,

and the cell phone reception was going to be cutting out before long as they headed into deeper water. And they were headed up, I think, to Greenland or Iceland or something like that. So, yeah. Right now they're on a cruise ship at 11 p.m. Or maybe it's a little, what would it be, later there. Because they're probably at time zone or two east. But, yeah. They live a vacation life. life so that's a thing you got another one sure um if you had an opportunity to have a second home anywhere in the world where would

you want to live there's lots of great places that's's hard to say. I'm going to expose my, um, right. Like ignorance on geography, but I want to say like somewhere or the, you know, the Netherlands and Finland and Norway, are they the Baltic States?

Like that trio of States. I'm sure this will be on the PKA subreddit. Someone who lives there and like knows you repeat that the baltic states i think it might be norway finland and the netherlands i wouldn't know you wouldn't know yeah well i've never heard the term the baltic states so i'm thinking i'm just out of the loop okay so uh i was thinking somewhere up there they have a really good um good standard of living. The people are known to be kind and courteous.

And it's one of the happiest. They do these national rankings on where people are the most content and happy. And they always seem to do well. So wouldn't it be nice to summer in Norway? And then I could spring, fall, winter, uh, in, in the South in America here in North Carolina. Just a thought. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not sure. It's a, it's a hard one. I don't know. There's, there's so many beautiful places. I would have to sit down and really think about that before I could make a really educated decision. Though New

Zealand is always on the top list of beautiful places, it seems, because I've seen the Lord of the Rings. Or maybe it'd be a surfing place for me. Transportation is a big deal, too. If I hypothetically could teleport to this other home, I might drop it in Fiji or something and just surf and enjoy it and get to bounce back here.

But if it's really about having a second home in the realistic world then maybe i'd try to balance the seasons that's probably how i do it huh well kyle you probably not but maybe looking to buy a new place you're really you like being where you are you like having your family yeah definitely geographically that's that part's not going to change too much i think i don't think i'm going to move across country probably not allow me to go morbid on you you'll outlive your father right so fast forward however many years that is do you suddenly get like super mobile and say you know what i am only going to live in the best place in the world and that best place might be here maybe uh i guess i could conceive of doing something like that it's hard to say

because in my head your roots aren't really really to your community or your town or whatever you're really you're close with your father yeah that's it uh um that's it uh so yeah i could see moving at that point uh realistically speaking um you know i'm about to like do some stuff that's gonna root me to here uh pretty dramatically though you know you're starting i could i could totally see getting like an apartment somewhere else maybe like if there was some city uh somewhere else that i'd like to be like a part-time resident of i mean a thousand dollars a month maybe there's enough money laying around to just have a second residence somewhere that's not too bad of an idea and i could just kind of visit chicago whenever i wanted to or denver whenever i wanted to or

los angeles or something like that and one of the cheaper ones couldn't do that in los angeles we were talking about your new business on PKN. And the conversation, it's been replaying in my head, right? You said, Woody, you thought this Minecraft thing was going to be nothing, right? And it turned out to be fantastic. And I was like, right. And I think that your brothel, let's say, is going to be amazing. So what does that tell you?

If I thought this was this and this is this, then how high is this really going to be? And you're like, it tells me you're bad at estimating. That's all it is. It'll be medium to, I mean, it could do really well, but you'll just have to wait and see. And I won't get my hopes up or anything. I think it's going to be, it's going to be definitely worth doing. And,

and then we'll just kind of see from there. Every whore in Vegas and Thailand and Dominican Republic will be using your product and it'll, it'll go worldwide global and you'll crush it. Yeah. I really, I still think I should do the, the energy drink. I think that should be my thing.

Ah. Well, my heart belongs to Gamma right now. Some like Russian crunk juice or something. It's got vodka in it for purity. I think that would be the way to go. What happens when you dehydrate

vodka like i saw powdered alcohol on reddit today really yeah hey did you see the navy's um like the the railgun demonstration is it something new yeah it here it is this is in gift form because i go on i'll see what you got here so it uses uh it's electromagnetically fired electromagnetically fired there's no like uh like powder being burnt or explosive or fuel or anything like that um oh that didn't send let me or there might be powder being burnt but you can choose which round and they're all stacked in the tube no no that's a totally different thing. So this is a rail gun.

You're thinking of something like where the rounds are sequentially stacked. It's like rounds and projectiles. That's different. That's electronically fired. It uses an electrical burst to ignite that powder so it can fire in super fast

a session, crazy rates of fire because there's no moving pieces in that and that sort of thing but this is a rail gun um this is using i think electromagnetism to fire this uh this projectile oh so it took me a while to understand it like because i hear rail and i don't even like i'm like do i understand what that means fences have rails and trains have rails this thing is launched electromagnet so magnets suck it through a tube super fast and then push it out the end yes really yeah i had no idea they could do that so what is this going through is that like really thick steel plates or something that it just bursts through like 10 of them? Yeah, I think so.

And there's no explosives there. So all that fire is just kinetic energy. That's pretty ridiculous. FPS Russia makes a.22 that can do this. Well, close, yeah. That's pretty neat. I wonder what the future of guns is. it seems like we've been on the gun powder thing for a really long time uh the navy's new rail gun maybe yeah but how could that work for

like a individual firearm oh it just seems like you need a really big power source on the other hand the what is it called the thing i was thinking of where the rounds are stacked and you can like the g11 was yeah yeah no one uh but but they use it they use that technology in like uh uh anti like uh air stuff now because the rate of fire can is almost exponential when you keep adding barrels it becomes like millions of rounds a minute and stuff like that and just sort of sounds like and you're like we just shot 120,000 times like holy shit because it's like bullet powder bullet powder bullet powder stacked

in a barrel and so if you've got a computer to figure out how to send those electric impulses to fire each round in sequence at the perfect time then the rate of fire is almost limitless do you have a clip of one of those yeah what's it called like a perfect time, then the rate of fire is almost limitless. Do you have a clip of one of those?

Yeah. What's it called? Isn't it called like the bee's nest or something crazy like that? The bee's nest. Striking fear. Hellstorm, I think. Yeah, I think it's called Hellstorm.

That sounds more right. That sounds scarier. Yeah. No, Hellstorm's already a missile. That's not it then. It's something Storm maybe. I can't remember. Metal Storm?

I guess it's not the Hornet gun. It's Metal Storm. Metal Storm. I guess it's not the Hornet Gun. It's Metal Storm. Metal Storm. Great band name. I have a video. It's a minute and a half long-ish. Oh, I found it. Did you?

Same video? A. Clark 79? Yeah, that's it. Yep. Are we all on my video or some other video no we're all on yours all right ready set play it's not impressive at all but I think it will be yeah it's gonna it's gonna ramp up they can't start you at a 10 work you at one just to show how impressive it is 30 rounds a minute necessary what would this even be used for that That's shooting down other projectiles.

So this, for those listening, this isn't even a regular looking gun. It's just what looks like a big speaker, almost, square, with two adjacent squares of barrels, one on top of the other. And now it's shooting one million rounds per minute. But only 180 rounds. Yeah, it's just going to go... Yeah, it just kicked uniformly. they all came out at once yeah a million rounds a minute so this is the same thing impact oh okay the target impact what is the target just drywall drywall who would have expected that a million rounds a minute would do that

it's only 180 rounds i want to see them armor and their cardboard swords i want to see 10 000 rounds shot oh well that wouldn't work wow that slow motion was more they need to like i've got better slow-mo guns in my closet than that shit that's pretty bad well they spent all their money on ammunition yeah so yeah that's the thing i can't even imagine a practical application for that that couldn't be done in a better way if you're gonna shoot down a missile or something maybe that's the thing i was thinking at first i was like it fires such a big solid block why not just fire like an artillery you know if you're trying to make something go bang but kyle's right if you're trying to effectively fire like a net

of trouble in the air then this is the way you do it you know you aim that thing at a plane and it has to fly through 180 rounds or 360 rounds that's what it is it's a flying net of shrapnel it would it would auto you would want it set up so that it could auto sense like grenades or missiles incoming and shoot you know a couple hundred rounds it seems a lot cheaper like i'd rather have the tracking system on the sentry gun to launch it stuff than to have it in the missile at at which point everything I take down costs me a million dollars. Isn't that a cheaper way to win a war? Yeah. We haven't found one.

So the U.S. spends more than I've heard the next six countries combine, the next ten countries combine in military and such. But I don't know that we could take the next ten. No, we spend more. If we spend ten times as much, that's why we're twice as

good. I don't think we're spending it like really efficiently. And some of this is like the GI Bill and shit like that. Like, you know, it's not even winning wars. It's investing in your country. I saw that ISIS had taken a city only 70 miles from Baghdad. at kabbani maybe uh i don't know my forgive my iraqi geography but i remember that they were mentioning it was one that a lot of americans had died in the taking of and i guess it's one of those things which is like what was the fucking point like why don't we do all that like now it's falling to actual like villains yeah right saddam had it who's whatever He was just a... He fits right in with the nut jobs

that we just are happy that they're not making war left and right. You got that nut job in North Korea and there's always some kooky fucker ruling a country somewhere. Why did this one have to go? Yeah. Now ISIS has taken over cities. Have you seen the footage

of ISIS executing a guy with a bazooka? I have not. Would you like to? Well, that seems wasteful. I tell you, when I watched it... If it's an RPG, those things are cheap, so... Let's see this. I'm sorry that I reacted that way,

but this is going to be funny if they shoot this guy with a fucking bazooka, man. If they shoot him with RPG or something Kind of medium just kind of a stalemate almost oh Here's the video. I just got look scroll down a bit. There's like two images and then a video I Hit play by accident, so let me go back to the start there. Are you ready? So it is an RPG.

Seven seconds in. I'm trying. I can go to seven. I'm at zero now. I'm at zero. You guys ready? I am ready to go. Ready, set, play.

Aha. Now some of you might find this upsetting. Oh shit, I almost didn't have it on the screen. They have an RPG and they have a man tied to a post. Looks like a telephone pole kinda, but it's not. Yeah, yeah. But that's what it looks like. They're in a great backyard.

They've backed up to, I'm gonna say, about 40 yards away. You know, a safe distance to shoot a man with an RPG. By the way, this is a pretty good shot if he's going to hit this guy. I was going to ask you that. He's clearing the crowd from around him so the back blast won't damage him. He's taking aim. The cameraman is bad at this. He really should be aiming at the... I couldn't even tell it was so fast. And camera man kind of panicked. Well, scroll down a bit and you can see some still images of what happened. On the left. So did he hit right above the guy and it kind of just immolated him?

I think he hit him. I think he hit him in the chest. Jesus. That was an awful, awful thing to do. One thing to keep in mind. What a soulless thing to do. Everybody thinks of an RPG as just an RPG, but there's lots of different kinds of actual grenades to put in an RPG.

There's lots of them. There's armor-piercing rounds, there's anti-personnel rounds, and there's various types of each. And then there's all kinds of incendiary rounds, high explosive, and I don't know what this is, but it's not a bad way to die. I'd much rather get shot with an rpg than a rifle that guy died instantly and it was kind of looney tunes the way they did it i i don't think that's a good way to die it's not a camera oh that's how i want to go that's exactly how i want to die what are you

talking about just like this you know like in all seriousness though would you like truly like i know it's like the fun thing to say like no i want you to film me as i you know try to tackle a moving train or something and it's like that like once you're really old and you have a terminal disease or something but would you really want that to be the image that like your your family saw like all that them knowing i I don't think so. That seems pretty uncouth. That doesn't seem that bad. That seems like a... Instant death.

Instant death, big time. Like a fly getting squashed or something. I mean, they shot him with a rocket-propelled grenade. That was... He just turned into... He exploded. I liked that a few of the other assholes chipped in and added a little AK-47 fire just to make sure.

I don't even know what they're even shooting at. I thought that was a celebratory shooting. That was how I interpreted it. Maybe so. Well, it's certainly better than those videos with the saws, where you just do a horrible, gory Halloween movie-style shit that's just gut-wrenching. This is certainly better than that. No argument there. He didn't put up a bit of complaints, like he didn't say a fucking word he knew this if he

was like no please nothing all right the knife like they're gonna start this on set as soon as they if they start with rpg shut up like there's nowhere to go but down from there and in where but to go where but up i guess in the pain sphere. Yeah, better than getting hung from a lamppost or something and burned alive or something crazy like that. Yeah, it's not a bad way to go in the grand scale of things. I'm also trying... So ISIS is crazy, right? ISIS is the world's worst people.

They're awful, they're terrible, they execute for no reason, etc., etc. They're the splinter group off Al-Qaeda because Al-Qaeda wasn't extreme enough. I've heard that. I don't know. I have no idea what group. I thought they were independent. I read it on the internet, so

place all the faith in it that that deserves. None. Alright. But I wish I could get a better vibe for the actual truth. Like we saw ISIS execute a bunch of people, right? Okay. Well, like is that they're at war, right?

And they shot him in the back of the head. It was kind of a quick instant death thing. We see ISIS execute people like with a bazooka. And I think how far is that from like electroshock you know from the electric chair that we do really far because we didn't like in world war ii we didn't come across a german town and then you know massacre 10 000 people to my knowledge we didn't do that well the germans didn't do that no we literally bombed towns in germany yeah that true. I don't see how that's a lot different than a bazooka, like in terms of morality. It's totally different, though.

It's coming from a different place. It is different. There's a difference between bombing Hamburg because you want the Germans to surrender and end World War II and tying this guy to a phone pole and shooting with a missile. Who's the guy that shot him? Was he the Lord Commander? I doubt it. That's Hockmed, the RPG guy. He's the guy that shot him? Was he the Lord Commander? I doubt it. That's Hockmed, the RPG guy.

He's got lots of them. They got the best RPG shot in the tribe. He's not an authority on anything. He's just the guy. His buddy had a cell phone. He had an RPG in a prison. Let's make it happen. I certainly don't want to be an ISIS apologist.

We all know that's lefty. But it's just jokes people but um it's true i i do i i just i i do find kind of a moral equivalence between dropping bombs on like what we did to um tokyo right we dropped so many bombs on that city we set it on fire right the reason we bombed hiroshima and naka what nagasaki nagasaki thank you is that you know tokyo was already they apparently there's a lot of wooden construction there and we just firebombed the fuck out of it i'm sure that a lot of people burnt in that and a lot of civilians died go ahead Kyle yeah it's a fire bombing yeah that we did it to the Germans and the Japanese I think there's a big difference huge difference I think there is a difference in so far as one

of those decisions it's made by a small contingent of people and the overwhelming majority of the troops don't have a say in that whereas with this it's like everyone in there is on board they're all more than happy to walk up and just execute someone it's really everyone in there is on board. They're all more than happy to walk up and just execute someone. Really, that's the difference? It's not just that. We were bombing those cities because we had to get surrendered. They had come here.

They had, in a sneak attack, they killed thousands of Americans. There's a direct correlation. We're ending what they started. We're saving our honor as a country and as a people. That war meant something. We were fighting evil in many ways. The vivisection and the horrible human experiments the Japanese were part of. Here's the reason you hate the Nazis so much.

The Jews have a better PR firm. They just do. There's millions of atrocities committed by the Japanese. The Holocaust is just one of the horrible things that happened during World War II. Tens of millions of Russians died. But specifically with Japan, they were super evil. They needed a good wiping out.

Those people that we were burning, those weren't like our people who might have been, I know our people are pretty hardcore too, but those people were training with spears. They were getting ready

to fight an invasion of the mainland that would have cost over a million US casualties. When you weigh the lives of 100,000 Japanese versus a million Americans plus another 3 million Japanese, which is what would have happened by the end of an invasion to Tokyo, it's a much better decision. These ISIS guys, it's the Islamic states of Iraq and Syria. These guys are starting a religious caliphate, a kingdom based upon their misconception of Islam. Part of that is conquering, killing, and destroying anything that doesn't go along with that. And that's just a completely different ideology and a completely different rule set from what we were going through in World War II.

Even then we had rules. I mean, we have rules about the way we kill our enemies and the way we want them to kill us, but these guys don't. It's a group of thugs that are operating on a 5th century kind of mentality. I think. Well, that was very well put. I can't even go back and confirm or deny how I feel about all of it, but I think you are right insofar as this isn't deterring some other huge form of violence that's going to happen if they quit executing people on the street for no reason.

to any further violence. They're the ones kind of causing this. They're the initiators. They're kind of the stop and end of this. I don't know how they think they've been slighted or why they're doing this. It was that whole going into Iraq thing and killing a million of their friends and family, I think. Well, that

certainly played a part. That would frustrate me as well. That might frustrate a lot of people it would it's just so complicated it's hard to compare over different times too because who knows maybe like Americans like some soldiers

would have done really fucked up things if there was a guy with a video camera there that they knew that all the enemies were going to see this the only thing is in World War 2 you don't hear widespread reports of like lots of american rapes or lots of american like civilian deaths and stuff like that now certainly the air force and the whatever the aerial forces because the navy um killed civilians because they bombed from the sky like that's it's

nature of the way that they attack but um you know more or less like it kind of was it was soldier v soldier whereas in vietnam you know it was soldier v country and it got messier it is a lot easier to whitewash it when you're not in the information age yeah and now that incentivizes people to do things just for the sake of intimidation like hey should we just shoot this guy no let's do this to him because we know everybody over there is going to see this video. They're going to be afraid of us. As far as the mistreatment of civilian

populations, the Germans were pretty good to the Europeans. They were terrible to the Russians. As they pushed into Russia, they did lots of things. Lots of ethnic cleansing and stuff like that. Mass graves and that sort of thing. They seemed to be pretty nice to the French, if did lots of things. Lots of ethnic cleansing and stuff like that. Mass graves and that sort of thing. They seem to be pretty nice to the French, if you

look at history. They certainly fought the resistance. If you want to make such a big deal out of mass graves... You've got to bury them somehow. Yeah, like, oh my god, they didn't give individual graves. Can you believe this? Yes, I completely believe it. I think the outrage isn't that they didn't get an

individual grave, it's just the photos of like, holy shit, like the scale, the sheer scale of this. And to know that this isn't all of it. This is just a drop in the bucket compared to what else was happening. It's just an easier way for yourself to quantify. All this talk I have is me being defensive about being manipulated by the press. You know, like, oh, these people are flat out evil. They're terrible, etc. And I think, all right, let's take a step back. Pret back pretend you are impartial now. How do we feel on this?

You know they just killed a guy with a bazooka right is it awful sure absolutely But in the realm of killing people because you have a cause I don't know that the bazooka is so much more evil than a rifle or an electric chair or whatever It was just kind of splashy and flashy. It's a bazooka kill. You know, all mass graves. You're right. Mass graves make them outstanding photo ops.

You know, like, oh, look at all these dead bodies here in one spot. But the truth is you get that many dead in lots of battles. The only difference is they buried them all in one spot. Well, it's also who's getting buried. Is it a lot of civilians? Because a lot of times ISIS seems to be into the civilian killing game.

Like I was going to get two of the worst atrocities in World War II. Some of the ones like committed upon civilian populations. I think the Japanese and I think it was Nanking. The Rape of nan king the rape of nan king that's exactly it and uh and also and like when you see what the russians did when they got into german territory they just raped the they raped every woman in berlin like nine out of ten women were raped or something like that when they got to germany they they raped every woman they could lay their hands on um so i think the americans were really didn't do a lot of that there's not a lot of evidence to Germany, they raped every woman they could lay their hands on. So, I think the Americans really didn't do a lot of that. There's not a lot of evidence of that.

I haven't seen a lot of that. It would come out, right? There are a lot of Americans there. You don't have 250,000 people keeping a secret. Part of the reason for that is we were mostly a liberation force. When we went through France, i don't think we

had to rape anybody they were pretty happy to see us coming through you know they were putting out um yeah but but even when we got to germany and there and there's stories about them like making the townsfolk go out to the um to the uh extermination camp or the concentration camp and like help with the disposal of bodies and stuff and letting them see what's been going on you know five miles down the road like that's the worst i really hear sometimes i really don't hear a lot about americans being brutal and like unfair uh but you know maybe there's been some white stuff like nanking that was like like there's a lot more history between china and japan as far as animosity just a revulsion for one another, especially, you know, back then.

I don't know now what the feelings are. I think they're still the same rivalries. Yeah. Like, that wasn't just. They're both right. Yeah. That was, like, aggravation that reached back beyond even, like, when the U.S. was formed. Like, and way before that as well.

Like, it was centuries of hatred that just came to a peak, it seems. Yeah, that was terrible. If you don't know anything about the rape of Nan King, just Google it and read it on Wikipedia for a little while. Quite terrible. More or two sub-stuff. Yeah, and I feel like I've been wrong about most things I said tonight, so...

But again, it just comes from a position... I want to ask the questions. That's all. I understand what you're doing. That's all. You know? I understand what you're doing. Yeah. Of course, someone's going to be like, Woody was, you know, apology. You're breaking up.

Yeah, that wasn't. You're a rookie. I'm a rookie. Am I better now. Not yet. Yeah, yeah. But I think what he was saying is people are going to say Woody was an ISIS apologist, and that's not actually my biggest concern. They're going to say Woody's ignorant of the events. That's not actually – I don't think that's right. Although to some extent it probably is.

But the bigger thing is, like, I hear it, and I just don't accept it. I want to, like, question it. I want to question it. I want to question it because I can't be sure that... Whatever. I see what ISIS is doing. I see them killing civilians. I see them doing stuff and I just wonder, alright, but put in the context

of a war. Here's one. Saddam Hussein killed lots of Iraqis, right? But there was a civil war. There was an uprising. He gassed them. Would Lincoln have used gas if it was available? Everyone in the world at this point in time, because we all exist in the same time period,

kind of agreed that that was a bad idea and we all made rules that we shouldn't gas each other anymore. We saw what happened in World War I with all the gassing. It was terrible. Horrible things happened to people. Sherman went and burned down cities. Do I have Sherman right? Civil War.

Yeah, Civil War. Yeah, he burned Atlanta. He burned Atlanta down. Lots of civilians died, fires, ugliness. And it wasn't just Atlanta. Like apparently he left a trail. He just went there and burned everything he could in a straight line. He burned Atlanta to the ground.

It was completely destroyed. Lots of places. When they told us, anyway, he burned lots of places to the ground, including Atlanta. And, you know, that was probably the best weapon we had at the time, fire. I am, you know, but Sherman's a hero, at least in the North he is. Not in the South.

You know, and... It takes about the war on Northern aggression. So anyway, you know, the histories get, the winners get to write the history. And, you know, so Saddam had an uprising. He squashed it. They used to give him a hard time about using helicopters on his people like he was supposed to handcuff himself and only go like octagon unarmed combat against these guys you know he had the the biochemical weapons he had

the helicopters and he put them down forcefully and and won his own civil war the only problem he has is that the u.s is right in his history for him but we had went in there it wasn't i believe it was a kurdish uprising and we had gone in there we made all these promises to him we're like we're with you and then fucking schwartzkopf goes right behind those those kurdish uh tribesmen's back and says sure we'll we'll lower the nofly zone flyer choppers around. And that let him go right in and squash the whole thing. I wouldn't be surprised if some of those tribesmen that we stabbed in the back back in 91 or 92 or whenever it was are right on the front line shooting bazookas at motherfuckers right now today. Could be. Yeah, never let a bush lead your

country into war. The first one was cool, right? This is the one we're talking about. The first Gulf War. This is the one we're talking about. So at the conclusion of the first Gulf War, if I have my history right, which is unlikely,

at the conclusion of the first Gulf War, we had won, but Saddam was still in power. So we encouraged the Kurds to have a civil war. And we gave them weapons and we gave them support. And we gave them promises of more support and weapons. And then we didn't really follow through on that.

And the Kurds got smashed. They wouldn't have gone against such impossible odds had we not told them we got your back. We didn't have their back. And the Kurds got smashed. And then they say Saddam Hussein is horrible and evil. Can you believe it? He kills his own people with helicopters and chemical

weapons. But I just try to ask the question, does that make him evil? Or does that mean he won a civil war in his country just like everyone else who wins a civil war in their country? He killed his own people. Yeah, but they sort of stopped being his people when they had a civil war i never thought saddam was so bad he seemed like the kind of guy

you could make a deal with do you remember what he wanted at the end he wanted to take a billion dollars in cash and fucking leave and they wouldn't let uh that was the offer right they offered him like a billion in cash and he could leave and he turned it down there was some some deal like that it didn't make sense at the end i can only imagine that he just didn't believe that we would invade us would you just like yeah you're gonna give the kurds helicopter support because uh he was i believed it at the time because he was just on tv he was like he in in no uncertain terms he was laying it all out there he's like you got to give those weapons of mass destruction uh blah blah blah blah and i was just like he should really give those up like he did want and i know i know i know but but still it's just like i'm at the time i'm thinking that

to myself and i feel like if saddam were smart he'd have been on some sort of like iraqi cnn like shuffling papers together and being like, we don't have any of that shit anymore. That's what he was doing, yeah. He was on Iraqi television saying, we don't have it, but of course we're here in the US, so we don't see that. He was constantly challenging George W. Bush to a televised debate.

He's like, let's talk about this. Let's talk. Was he really? I had no idea. He was constantly challenging Bush to a televised debate. He wanted to have translators in a debate where they could talk about this. And Bush is like, nope, nope. Just turn over all those weapons you don't have or we're coming in. You better go get some then.

We're coming back on Friday and we either get some nukes or your ass is cracked. Yeah. We're coming back on Friday, and we either get some nukes or your ass is cracked. Yeah, and then Hans Blix is like, I've been searching for these weapons for 12 years now. I've never found any of them. You've been searching for two months. You haven't found anything either. What evidence do you have? And I felt like I was the only guy in America saying, you know, I don't know if he has weapons or not. How could I?

only guy in America saying, you know, I don't know if he has weapons or not. How could I? But it does seem like the burden of proof should be higher than we'll find them after we kill them. Right? This is the thing I've always said, right? In a capital punishment case, right? When there's a murder, we prove that there's a murder before we kill anyone. Here we're just like, I think after I kill you, then I'll find the evidence I need. And that just always seemed fucked up to me. If you want to start a war, have proof. There was a good deal of evidence presented to the American people, as well as a lot of the decision makers.

You must admit. I don't know why you can't. You never will but but even hillary clinton and and and like all the liberals all the democrats the republicans on both sides have said this jeb bush recently said this and everybody made fun of him and twisted his words and i am not a jeb bush supporter don't even don't even believe that but they totally twisted his words and made him seem dumber than he already is i don't know if they twisted his words the most compelling that you're

referring to? They kept talking about all of the tubing that was going there that was only used for weapons of mass... Yeah, it may have turned out that way, but they kept saying... Let me talk about the tubes. There was a thing. John Stewart just took

a New York Times reporter to task over this. There were these aluminum tubes and they were saying that those aluminum tubes really only had one good use and it had to do with nuclear reactors or something like that. And I don't know anything about nuclear tubes. I'm like, oh.

Or centrifuges maybe. Maybe. That sounds good. I don't know anything about this, but if they're saying this particular grade of tube is a centrifuge tube, then I guess that's a thing. And immediately, intelligence people from all over the world were like, no, actually, you don't use that kind of tube the way that you're saying you use it. You use that kind of tube. I think it was for a missile body or something. Or even non-military. But you could possibly be used as think it was for a missile body or something, or even non-military,

but you could possibly be used as the outside body of a missile, but it was not a nuclear thing like they were saying it was. To them, it was the smoking gun that they had a nuclear program, which they didn't. But immediately, everyone came out and said, no, no, you're wrong. You can't use that tube for that.

Not only is it not the only use for it, it's not a use for it. It's not useful. And New York Times issued their retraction on like page 17. And the title of the article that was their retraction was like Saddam Hussein seeking conventional weapons of mass destruction. And like that was their, like their counterproof or something like that. Like it just, it was more beating the war drum.

So that proof was like, before we went to war was knocked out. I remember Colin Powell, Colin Powell was his name. He, you know, out. I remember Colin Powell, Colin Powell was his name. He got up there with this vial of serum gas in front of the United Nations saying that they were going to do this or that. And that turned out to be horse shit. They never found any of that. There was just no proof. And I think they cherry picked and manufactured the proof they needed to get people. And they're linking it with 9-11. Oh, goodness gracious. How many times did they many times did they say you know like yeah 9-11 was terrible we

have to get saddam oh just coincidentally i mentioned them together and i wasn't saying that saddam had anything to do with 9-1-1 i'm just saying that uh you know 9-11 was dreadful and we should go after saddam yeah at this point in time i'd argue that overwhelmingly people are on your side for all of this like saying that they don't think there was a reason to invade they think there are the ties between 9 11 and saddam were pretty specious at best but at the time two percent of the u.s was on my side with this two percent 98 wanted to go to war this is a lot and that's This is a lot. And that's why Hillary was on board.

That's why all the politicians at the time were like, yeah, we should do it. Because they're like, wow, I can't lose 98% of my electorate. You don't want to be an anti-patriot, an anti-American. You know, a Saddam sympathizer or whatever they would have labeled you.

Did you see they gave the Tsarnaev kid the death penalty? No. The Boston bomber. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw that. I saw that. I saw someone make a campaign saying that he was way too cute to be executed. That's a very serious campaign that's been going on for some time.

There's a lot of girls who find him attractive, and there's a huge fan club that he's amassed that all seem to think that he's been sort of bamboozled by the government and he's been framed. That's nothing new. Didn't Ted Bundy, he was the one who looked pretty attractive conventionally for that guy, right? He had quite a few women who convinced themselves that he was in love with them

and that if he could just get out, they would be together forever. And obviously, the information age has made that exponentially, you know, more significant. But even back then, it's always been a thing. Yeah. Some of the testimony I saw from that trial was awful. I'm going to get the ages wrong, but there was a father whose, the blast goes off, and one of his children, I think it's his son, has been blown almost to

smithereens he's black and his skin is black and he's missing limbs he's he's clearly going to die in seconds but he's still alive and he's got his other son in his arms and that son's missing a leg and is bleeding out so he has to he has to abandon his dying son and run to get aid for his uh the kid that he's holding. And I think when you hear testimony like that, you understand why they came down with the death penalty. Although, when you look at the reality of the death penalty in this country, it's probably just more trouble. Especially Boston. I just don't have any faith in Massachusetts' ability to kill a guy.

We need them tried in Texas. Exactly. I remember, who was that female governor of Texas? Do you know her name? Whitaker or something? I forget. Ann something. Oh, she's the one that's often featured on King of the Hill, right?

Maybe. I don't know. Didn't they call her Lady Bird or something? That was a president's first wife, Lady Bird. LBJs, maybe? Female Texas governor. Her name is Ann Richards. I was close with Ann Ryan.

Anyway, Ann Richards. I was close with Ann Ryan. Anyway, Ann Richards, I think I heard her tell this story where one time she pardoned someone on death row and she's like, I really thought we didn't have the proof. I thought the guy should have been pardoned. I will never do that again. All of Texas hated her.

They felt like she didn't have the gun, the guts to kill a person all of texas was like no when you find someone guilty in texas and you put someone to death hurry the fuck up about it this is texas and we don't mess around and uh and in massachusetts the appeals process will last years and years and years and years right so he So he's going to spend a long time in prison. It's that crazy federal prison shit, too, though. If it even does happen. Like, don't be thinking this is like Oz

and he's going to be like milling around and going to rec time. He'll sit in a small cell and it's got a window in it about this big and then it's got a drawer down to the bottom to get food in and out. He'll stay in there like two hours of the day he'll get out, and that's it. He's going to spend most of his life in a cube for the next 80 years.

See, like, my visceral feeling about it is like, oh, yeah, I read all those stories and saw everything. Yeah, fuck that guy. That's horrific. And it is. Like, yeah, kill him. But then, like, when I try and think of a reason for it, like, the biggest thing is just, like, justice i think he deserves it like yeah what's fair like that's what the system is all about he does deserve it's been decided it is known yeah kill that guy kill that guy i don't have a second thought about it as a matter of fact

if they ask me to do it if they're like wo, Woody, Woody, look, we got two options here, man. We can either do the appeals process, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, or because you're special, if you'd hook us up with the death right now, it'd be over. What if we hook him up to the Tacoma? You just go on a little off road. Nothing's tearing that bumper off. String him up.

I'll hook you up. I like that. off string him up i'll hook you up i like that i like that string him up i just want that clip i like that i think a good gift all right um if you had to start another call of duty channel right now do you think it would be as successful or enjoy it do you think you'd be as successful or enjoy it as much of course not what a stupid question yeah no this came from a patreon it is a genius question well i mean they're not all um you got to be an early adopter somewhat to get gotten big in this game i wonder just coming in and exploding um it certainly helps to be a first mover uh i i think to my like sometimes people would ask me like,

hey, Woody, if you were to start over right now, right, with the current batch of COD YouTubers, you know, pretend this question was from two years ago, do you think that you'd do well again? You know, I do. I think my videos were pretty good. You know, I was pretty proud of them. I think that if you looked at the, like,

you know, the whole course, the rise and fall of the cod scene on, on YouTube, um, you know, I had videos that no one else had, you know, and there were clearly videos other people had that I didn't, but you know, I think there was, there was a place for me on YouTube and I found that place and it was cool. So cool so so yeah I think if hypothetically I didn't start as early as I did I'd still do well I think I made good videos if I were to try to do it right now make a cod channel no it's if I started that my horse and buggy business I think that would do poorly i like that answer i feel about that let's see what other ones we got am i robotty you guys just got a little you're fine for me okay for 10 million dollars would you jug your dad's balls in your mouth

while he's sleeping for 60 seconds sure why not 10 million there's not much i want to yeah yeah i'll eat one of them. Fucking raw. What are you talking about? It's 10 fucking million dollars. I'll eat one of mine for 10 million dollars. I'd be like, Dad. No, I would explain it to him. I have an opportunity.

He's asleep. He's asleep? Yeah. Of course. I'm going to slip him two or three Ambien. I like your plans. There's a lot of booze in the world. There's a lot of booze in the world, absolutely. Yeah, I think I would drug him.

I would juggle his balls in my mouth. He's not going to be like, oh. If I could get them out of my mom's. Hi, mom. And do that. With the sex life they have, your father's probably well-groomed as well. Oh! They're old school.

I was born in the 70s. Just saying. Do I have any favorite streamers? Realistically, it's funnier to say yes. Do you guys have any favorite streamers? Realistically, it's funnier to say yes. Do you guys have any favorite streamers? No. I don't watch streams.

I like Wings. I guess Wings is my favorite streamer, but you have to keep in mind that I just don't watch streams very often. He's the only one I really know of, and so occasionally I'll tune in and watch him do his thing. I might be a dinosaur in my preferences because I think I prefer YouTube videos to streams I feel like YouTube videos are best of clip and if it's like a live play then usually they're like I don't know this

is a highlight video right this is the good stuff like if you look at the scene anna's formula right where like he plays for two hours and he grabs the best five minutes and shows it to you I think i like that more than a stream or if you look at like the old school woody formula where you know he grabs a gameplay thinks about what he's going to say and then he has seven minutes of like you know here's the thing i want to tell you i like that whenever i pop into a stream it's usually boring as fuck yeah it's some notice that too when i follow a link like i want a video because i know that it's condensed and even if it's usually boring as fuck. Yeah, I noticed that too. When I follow a link, like I want a video because I know that it's condensed

and even if it's not great, it's going to be over in seven minutes. With a stream, you pop in, you don't know if you just missed the good thing or if you're about to see a good thing or if there's just no good things to be had. It's usually that one. Yeah, generally I feel like that's right

because when you go in, it's not like they're actively entertaining most of the time. And granted, this is from a very small sample size. Because I've only gone in when I've been redirected there or just out of curiosity clicked on a few of them. It's just not entertaining. And it doesn't seem like the person is putting in 100% effort for the entire time. As a guy that streams, it's hard to put it. It's fake to put in 100 all the time you know it so you're like you're trying to be like the real you and connect

with people or whatever but if you're just bouncing off the walls 100 it seems fake it eventually it does wind down i remember i did a stream with Kyle and Chiz. It was long because it was Civ. I'm dancing and dancing. By the end of the night, I'm like... Don't even care. Just observing. Who's still here? Get a job.

So yeah, I kind of like YouTube videos more than streamers. Having said that, I like PwnStar.com when he streams. He has actually a crew that he streams with, and I like those guys. There's one guy I'm going to mess up his name, but it's like Jaguar or something like that. I like that guy. I think I like watching shooter streams the most. I've been watching some CSGO lately, although it's sometimes hard for me to understand the scene. I'll watch this really popular CSGO lately, although it's sometimes hard for me to understand the scene. I'll watch this really popular CSGO.

I'm like, all right, let's see the top. Those guys with the most views, who I assume might be the guys who are the most entertaining. And then there they are trading gun skins or something for a long time, or this excessive amount of time to get into a game. And I'm like, oh my god. It's all lobbies and skins and shit, and I'm like oh my god like it it's all lobbies and skins and like shit and I'm here to watch somebody shoot you all the way down like the seventh most popular guy and and you know whatever I I just find streaming

seems to be ninety percent waiting for something better and that's why I think I prefer YouTube but to answer the question, probably PwnStar.com is my favorite streamer. Do you think we should call a wild card here? It seems like Taylor's in and out. He is. I want to do one more. I do hear you. What is one mistake you did with Painkiller already?

If there's one thing you've done on PGA, you maybe take it back. Yeah, you have. Oh, like done on the show? That's how I interpret it. Yeah. I don't think I've done anything really that I regret. Yeah, I can't think of any good mistakes that you've made. I remember one time we had this anti-gun guy on,

and we were talking to him a little bit, and I left for like 20 minutes to fuck a girl in the middle of the show. And so I guess I should apologize for that. But other than that, I feel like I've done everything I wanted to do of the show and so i guess i should apologize for that but but other than that you know i i feel like i've been done everything i've got to um one time there's the whole women are built for rape thing which isn't exactly what i said but uh i certainly wish i had phrased it better the the whole argument was when it comes to date rape not um the brutal kind of rape but like a date rape the real damage is emotional uh and and i was saying that you know the damage isn't physical

you know women are built for intercourse uh it's really the the mental toll that it comes afterwards and i was comparing it to the mental toll that a guy might take from a beating and uh this one guy pwnstar for, who didn't like me at the time, took it and ran with it and said, you know, Woody said that women are built for rape. Is that how that happened? I had no idea how that became. Yeah, he made a video about it,

and then everyone started making the same video about it, repeating the same quote, and it just went crazy. I wish that I had stated that better and then um the other one is the robin williams one which blew over quickly perhaps because i apologized but um the real thing on that was i felt like people were celebrating this guy who had no choice but to end his life what's worse is it it recently turned out that like the suicide may have been caused by some like complications from that neurological thing he had going on. Maybe Parkinson's.

I think that had a lot more to do with what happened than anything. So it's just like... Oh, it makes my cringe even worse? Yeah. I'll say this, though. So the National Suicide Hotline fielded a record number of calls the next day. I read that. the national suicide hotline fielded a record number of calls the next day, which tells me that a lot of people were inspired to at least think or like begin a suicide thing because Robin Williams and all the love he got for it.

And that was really what I was trying to do. And when I was saying, you know, F Robin Williams, it wasn't like it was, this is what people are going to think about you if you kill yourself. And it was it was supposed to be a suicide demotivator. And that was the thing.

But I certainly didn't do it right. So those are my two PKA do overs. If I could pull mulligans, it'd be on the Robin Williams and the and the whole rape thing. You wouldn't take back going after lefty, would you, Taylor? Oh, that's of course yeah i felt terrible for just being so unabashedly mean to him because he hadn't ever been mean to me like he'd never been mean even afterwards he did nothing to deserve that he handled it very well and i was just a prick and so i yeah i felt terrible about that so that would be it huh i was hoping you wouldn't take it back no no i like legitimately how gracious how gracious gracious of you

that's nice oh being honest i that's i thought it was a pretty funny moment i thought you were like you know it was kind of cruel but that's funny it no it was just i made an ass of myself and yeah it just was a prick to him so i felt bad about that i would take that back absolutely sometimes when people are drunk they say what they really mean and sometimes when people are drunk they say what they didn't mean at all you know it really can go both ways i remember sometimes you just have it in your head that you're trying to be crazy over the top and you have no filter because you're drunk and so you're just like you're doing it for a show and you don't realize how much of a just awful fest it is.

That's what that was. At one time you were, you told him that he wasn't funny and that he didn't deserve his spot on the show. And, uh, I was like, I wonder if that's coming from a place of truth.

I, I don't know. Hmm. It was just mean. Yep. That's my one. I can't think of It's just mean. Yep, that's my one. I can't think of any for Kyle either, and I can't think of any more for you other than those two. Those are my two best ones.

I'm sure I have dozens of smaller ones. Yeah, I wonder. I feel like Lefty doesn't have much he's done on this show, at least on camera, that he would need to redo. And I wonder if Wings would redo anything. I wonder that as well. You never know what he would say. He might say, yeah,

literally every night there was a moment where I wish I could hit rewind. Or he might just be like, ah, nah. What else was I going to do? Some of the Wings remind we rhyme moments to me aren't on pka they're like like he's made videos talking about other youtubers on his channel that sometimes i'm like why'd you do that i don't know um wings is wings wings i'd like i wish he'd make some more real life videos. I want to get like, I want something like the walking videos, but I want it to be him

doing whatever he's doing videos. Yeah. That's another. I don't need him to walk. Like I, it literally, if it were him eating and like talking about foods, that would be cool to me. Like if his passion is food, why doesn't he start like, why doesn't he become like the bearded chef?

You know? I would like to see him cook. His passion might be. That's a good idea. His passion's eating. Like it, you know, I think he exaggerated when he said that he wouldn't microwave I think that the heat that was he'll microwave I mean heck he lived on ramen noodles for ages you think he ate them cold no he that was a stretch when he said that he wouldn't microwave stuff but it would be

neat my wife likes cooking especially in this house that we have a um it's propane but call it like a gas stove and um and she finds that much more enjoyable to cook on so um it'd be neat if wings got into like cooking good food it might even be good for his health yeah compared to the fast food or you know quick meals he has now but um he could make those hot wings of redemption that i've wanted for years. Now there is a business that will go huge. If he made hot wings of redemption and they were good, I bet he would actually sell quite a bit. I just want to see him licking his fingers.

That's that fire sauce. Hot wings of redemption. And he's got a picture of him wearing the chef's hat and everything on the bottle, but he's all grayed out and you've decolored it or whatever. I'd love that. How hard is it to sell hot sauce? I have in my head that you need like a...

If you sell drugs, there's like an FDA approval process that is really, really... I mean sell legal drugs. I know this because I used to work with ERP software. It's insane. But food is probably not that bad. Lots of people sell food, right? So I was going to make my own vodka one time and it was a whole thing for alcohol. Yes. But I think for food grade stuff, I think that what he would legitimately want to do

is find his recipe, order the parts in bulk, find some labels and some glass jars, and start bottling that stuff at home, just like Kitty does. And I think he'd be in business, because her stuff is, you know, you just stamp whatever it is on there, and you be honest about it, and nobody's checking up to make sure

that everything's organic over here. It just is. Yeah, I think he could have a real business on his hand if he sold hot sauce. I kind of want to make one bottle of it, cuz Kitty has the bottles and the sealers for him I'd really just need the label right Someone would Start selling it if you guys want some hot wings of redemption sauce. I'm gonna make the sauce

I'm gonna bottle it and we'll put it on Etsy because he didn't copy or he didn't go get it good I Would love to see him do that. I now Etsy because he didn't copy. He didn't go get his name trademarked. I would love to see him do that. It's too late now. Yep. Idea's taken. Yeah. It's going on my Etsy shop.

Yeah. Another thing about streaming that I don't like, circling back to the topic, is it's become an e-begging thing. And I don't like that. I don't like when people over-celebrate the dollar you gave them or the $3. It's yucky. Yeah, it definitely can be. Asking for likes just seems so much more. They used to fuss at me because I asked for likes.

Dude, that's nothing compared to what's going on in streams now with people dancing for dollars and other stuff like i i can't even mention some of the stuff because you'll instantly know who i'm talking about but you know what i'm thinking of don't you i know of course i have no idea i will type it to you type it to you. Woody is typing a secret message to Taylor now. Yes, for those in the car. Okay. That's a good one, right?

Well, I am out of touch with the community. The whole YouTube community. Stuff like that is just not a good... I guess Twitch, whatever. It's not a good look, man. It's not a good look. And while that I think is an extreme one, lots of people are e-begging constantly.

And yeah, that was a thing. See, now the correct answer was all the way kyle was right too though that was all for that was all you kyle yeah so um anyway yeah i just i it's not that i hate twitch the company or anything like that but i feel like i hope that the community evolves into something more entertaining so well we'll see the advent of the whole idea of being a a guy on twitch who's begging for money is just i don't know it seems very lucrative it's a i see all those girls on there and and uh it seems like they're all making quite a lot of money and there's just such there's so many guys it's so

perfect because there's so many guys i think that are in that community who might be susceptible to a large breasted like pretty girl on the internet who's in who shares the same uh you know passion as you and she just needs a little money to like make her hop up and down and like smile at you and be like thanks tommy tommy you're like shit that's the first time my girl's ever said my name and been happy about it some of these girls you're talking about are legit cam whores like they transitioned from the porn to the gaming community that's a good transition and yeah and you can come and do well if you're already slutty enough. That's the trick. And they dress for it and they make it happen. I think the career that I need to get into is becoming some sort of cam girl pimp.

I feel like if you had a stable of girls that you had a network and you were working all the cross promotion with their social medias and stuff, you could totally be a cam girl pimp and like run that thing you'd have like your bottom bitch getting like you know making a thousand dollars a day and shit like you could really get ahead in that game if you had the contacts for it a YouTube agent

would be a great deal like a lot of the agents that exist in the YouTube scene now are like if Machinima is your agent or something they just totally rape you like that a lot of the agents that exist in the YouTube scene now are like like if machinima is your agent or something they just totally rape you they take 80% of the money and they do the disservice to the people but there's someone out there who has a legit talent for creating deals for people you could be the most desired agent in the thing and then you'd be signing up big names you

know and it did 25% cut is fair now you don be signing up big names you know and uh yeah it did 25 cut is fair no you don't want any big names you just want like 10 whores who are gonna like do weird shit online while they make money i'm not talking i sort of transitioned from your idea to a more legit mistake big mistake no like like i'm making up names now what are you come on but like i swear if you're a good agent you could get someone like PewDiePie, Skyda's Minecraft, CaptainSparklez, et cetera. Like all those, you know, like a lot of double anal, whatever. You could get those guys, line them up with deals, make, you know, like, you know, someone

landed Red Bull for, for Nadeshot. You know, if you're the guy that can make that kind of thing happen, then, um, you know, there's a lot of people out there who have no experience in representing themselves and could use an honest agent. Make more of one weekend of selling panties than you ever would doing all that. I don't think so.

Yeah, totally. I don't think so. I think that job I just talked about, if you're good at it, is insanely lucrative. And there's such a need for it. I think you know what the overhead's like in the used panty selling game have you seen those subreddits where chicks are selling their panties and there's websites where they do it as well like they sell their panties for like 50 100 and stuff like like hot chicks christ you know they put up like an

imager album of them like masturbating in these tight panties and then it's clearly that pair of panties and you could purchase them the hot panties that the hot chick masturbated to on the internet and you know guys are paying for them and there has to be a way to do this right like like fine I would buy 30 pairs of those panties set up the pictures wipe a little Vaseline in the other 29

sell them whatever it takes to imitate gruel a day of Vas gruel huh a day of masturbation is an ugly word there's a subreddit it's our gruel yeah it's like girl that's how i knew it's what it's on my list gruel's hot anyway yeah yeah just whatever you know you just find it maybe a little um lip balm or. Rub some chapstick in there. Bam.

Wow. It even smells like cherries. This girl's junk smells like strawberries. She's amazing. Nothing but real pussy juice in the panties that we sell over on my site. Well, my panties only cost one-third what his do, and I sell

bundles of them. Cheap. His smell like your grandma. Cap sticking Vaseline. Who are you? I'm your competition in the panty selling market. I think we're about to lose our video in two seconds. Really?

I guess I was wrong. No, it'll happen. It will happen. We've done this before. Yeah, see? Yeah. It happens. All right.

You guys want to call it there? All right. All right. I resisted the first one. I think I'll go for this one. So that was Painkiller Eddie already episode 231 I hope you guys enjoyed it Check out Patreon

Down in the description below We've got some cool stuff planned for the near future And you're going to want to be on board Yeah you could And you'll see this video first You'll see the PKN video You'll get questions We're doing the Google Hangout this weekend

If you're watching this and not a patron it's tomorrow it's Sunday at noon I think right Eastern Time so uh yeah all kinds of benefits for the patreon guys we love you and we appreciate your support so even if you do the $3 one which just gives you the topics and stuff and advantage we appreciate that I don't do that well I'll speak for me. You only get Woody's appreciation if you sell out $3. You put $5 in there, I'll give you a nod when we meet in the hallway. That's it, though. All right.

PKA episode 231.