Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #238

Episode Date: July 17, 2015

This week on PKA, Call of Duty Legend FearCrads joins the guys to discuss bullies getting owned in boxing, some Amurica gun talk and of course Call of Duty talk!

Alright, we're live. Painkiller Already, episode 238. This episode of Painkiller Already is being brought to you by Dollar Shave Club. Shave time, shave money, Dollar Shave Club. That sounded pretty legit. I like that. I think you're even getting kind of the announcer voice. I'm taking half credit with the mic. Thank you, thank you. I'll give you that. So welcome to the show, everybody. This is our guest, FearCreds, a.k.a. Mike. Hi.

There we go. Simple. So, if people don't know, FearCreds, old school YouTuber. I think that's fair to say at this point. And often known for his cod, not just pub stomping. Didn't you get into the competitive scene a pretty big way? Yeah, when Call of duty ghost came out um didn't really think it was too good for the pub stomping so uh basically founded an esports team um tyt originally it was called and we did okay and then uh we picked up shane from tcm and then we basically was like the Lightning Pandas.

And we played like Animal Gianaheim. And we did pretty well at Animal Gianaheim. I think we placed like top 12. But it was the open bracket, so probably not as good. But we did all right. So the team was named the Lightning Pandas? Did I catch that correctly? How do you come up with a name like that?

Are you the pandas because you all refuse to have sex? Is that? I mean, you got us all right. The Lightning Pandas. like that yeah are you the painless because you all refuse to have sex is that i mean the lightning pandas like i want to know the origin of this um neither do i so shane was the original founder of the team and they basically just did it completely for fun and they went to cod champs or whatever it was wearing bright multicolored jerseys with a panda on at the front and just did it for fun and then it actually turned out pretty successful and so actually

just made it into a brand and then you know got sponsors on board. I'm bad at that. I'm bad at naming things. I had to form two new LLCs today and they were like what do you want them to be called and I'm just I racked my brain for six hours and I'm still not happy with my choices. Is it a secret? Yeah one of them yeah yeah

probably shouldn't say because the name kind of gives away exactly what it is and not that it's really a secret what it is it's just like you don't need to know that. Okay yeah mine's Woodworth Enterprises and that could do anything. Absolutely, it could. It's a mix when you name stuff, right? Because on one hand, like, if you name it Woodworth Enterprises, it means nothing.

Like Pepsi and Kinko's and Coke or on YouTube, like Sea Nanners, right? Sea Nanners doesn't mean anything until Sea Nanners defines it and tells you. Now, you sort of are associated. Like, you know what Sea Nanners is supposed to do. Like, FPS Kyle, on the other hand, is half- half to fine like you know what you're going to get there right if i name something woody's plumbing then people expect the plumber to work there pepsi cola is named after the pepsid that was in the original formula and coca-cola is was the cocaine uh that was in there from the coca leaf and the cola is actually a nut

so well i stand corrected kinkos means nothing though which uh people are going to lose that brand because they were bought by fedex but anyway um yeah when you name something you can go either way something that like huppet meant nothing we later like re like reverse engineered helping unite people into teams or something like that oh that was reverse engineered i thought it was an acronym from the start no it was literally huppet was an idea i had for like a whole nother business that just meant nothing you know it it it didn't mean something until you found out what we did and you got to sort of assign that name to it but uh anyway naming stuff is interesting i like branding is old school wow yeah right i wonder if like if i that thing got a lot of like it got two million

visits a month right two million unique visits a month and uh i later hear about these other websites that are like in that league and uh i'm like whoa like that they're worth that much like huppet on a good year made like five grand a year right now that's like ugandan wages there but uh but you know so it never made any money but other sites that don't make money they're able to sell it like giant valuations and stuff so yeah anyway did you see this uh this link that that you sent us about the man mocking the alligators then jumping in the water with the alligators um no but i kind of feel like we should address the elephant in the room with our oh well the elephant in the room the elephant that's not in the room i don't know oh. Is that a fat joke?

Are you making fun of Chiz? I won't stand for that, god damn it. Chiz is busting his ass right now on a fucking greyhound somewhere around Nebraska. I won't stand for those underhanded jokes. You're completely wrong. So we were sending pictures back and forth to Chiz today, right? Chiz loves my golf cart, which is understandable because my golf cart is fucking awesome. And Chiz every night was like, let's go on golf cart rides.

Let's go on golf cart rides. When he was here for the team building event. And we're just buzzing around the property and whatnot, going between the trees. Like Colin and Fuzzy or something might be in the go-kart and we're chasing them. But they're ten times faster. So Jackie was sending them like selfies like look at us we're on the golf cart right now he's like you bitch but he's not on a greyhound he's on a train and he was sending me pictures it was a train this time

i thought for sure it was going to be a dirigible i wonder if i have some of the shots he sent me because he might have sent them to Jackie. Does that thing have Wi-Fi? Oh, he did send them to Jackie. No, I think he – I'm not sure, actually. I can't answer accurately. But he was passing like what looked like national wonders or something, like big old waterfalls with water falling and uh what else did he pass i don't know just nice planes and and he's showing me like his bed and his window he has a small room like if it were an airplane that'd be like a ten thousand dollar flight how much did he how much

did he pay i wonder is it like 500 like 500 bucks for this train experience or what? I think so. I think he said it was roughly comparable to a flight. So he gets this train experience. Now you got to have a couple days to burn. But he gets the train experience and living it up. And I think he enjoys not being able to work. He's a pretty hard worker.

He works for me. But I think he likes having a few days where he's just out of worker he works for me and uh but i think he likes you know like having a few days where he's just out of pocket it's like camping almost i've never really been on a train i mean just like i don't know that time in boston when we they're just not they're not a lot of trains in the u.s i bet mike's been on tons of was your first time on a train you gotta get trained everywhere like to london it an hour and a half just on a train. He was in Boston standing up, not holding on to anything. I'm like, Kyle.

I fell. You did fall, didn't you? Yeah, I did. Yeah. Well, I wasn't prepared for that takeoff. I had no idea that the train was going to lurch forward. With most modern transportation modes,'s just like easing off like like even the you know the plane train and delta airport or uh or the uh marta that takes you around atlanta they all take off nice and smooth but this thing it was like somebody kicked the coal engine into gear and we

just fucking lurched forward yeah i busted my ass that was funny that was a fun night we uh basically me woody um kitty and was my date with us did she come all the way uh i don't remember i i don't know if she did or not but definitely me woody and kitty to first took a train and then got a fucking cab to get out into the middle of nowhere uh to to so he could roll with uh joe at uh joe's gym that was like one of the first it was that the first time you guys met in real life yeah yeah i think he had been on the show before or something like that. Or if not, I definitely talked to him like online, but that turned out to be really well. Joe's a friend of mine. And that was like the, that was like my introduction. You know, we met up, we

kicked it off and started cuddling immediately. Yeah. Yeah. That was fun. They, but yeah, there aren't as many trains in the U S so I'm just not uh i don't go on a lot of trains and the idea of going cross country in a train bear in mind we're talking about like 2500 miles um that's just that just seems outrageous to me like like it seems the opposite direction like i got to go on that private plane uh last month and that's got me so fired up about that i'm like i'm like maybe i could just tag along with somebody who's a fan while they're fueling up or something like this is the way to travel i feel like but train just have you never been to london and gone on like the eurostar to paris or anything like that no no i've never been to europe or all right so we we go like under the sea to go to paris on a train.

Which is pretty cool. You call it the Eurostar? It's not called the Chunnel anymore? The what? Sorry? It's not called the Chunnel anymore? I swear that was the name for it during construction. I don't know about that. Oh, you son of a bitch. I'm gonna Google Chunnel.

It works out like the same price as a plane and you don't have to worry about waiting in airport for two hours so it's so much better. Ten fascinating things about the Chunnel. Google Chunnel! C-H

Tunnel. Google it! Okay, I've heard of it before. Yeah, he acted like that was crazy. Chunnel.com is a thing. Chunnel facts. And I feel like the trains inS. are like the slowest trains in the world. I feel like everybody else has these super fast, cool trains now. And like, I've never even seen one. Everybody's trains levitate now, but us.

I like to think that there's something good about our trains that we don't know about. Like, yeah, they're slow, but we can handle really heavy trains. Yeah, they're strong. Our trains are all for coal and oil and stuff. Like, yeah, they're slow, but we can handle really heavy trains. Yeah, they're strong. Our trains are all for coal and oil and stuff. Their trains just carry people and air. So they're lightweight and flimsy, whereas we have, like, big moose of a trains. Yeah, okay. I made all that up, but I hope it's true.

You would hope so, but I don't see why you can't have both. Like, I feel like those maglev crazy trains I see in Japan and places like that, they go like 300 miles an hour, I think. That would make sense. If you could go by train 300 miles an hour, then it would be an experience. Although I see a lot of those derailing and killing everyone. That sounds good. I was going to say that's too fast, that they must go 300 kilometers an hour.

And then I Googled it, and it looks like 375 miles an hour is the record. That's fast as hell. Yeah, and I look at this picture of it, and it's not like it's a small train or anything. This is like a, I mean, I don't know how people would fit in this thing. 300, 600? Like, a lot. Too many. That's too many.

Yeah. I'm saying it's not like they got they got some like little train car and souped it up or something no it's a full-size train that they've got like 350 people's lives rocketing along at almost 400 miles an hour on the ground they hit a cow everybody's done 574 kilometers per hour that That is insane. So, I guess I wasn't actually talking about Chiz. I was saying Taylor. Well, yeah, a lot of people didn't believe

he was off the show, but, you know, I guess the proof is in the pudding. There's no reason to, like, defend yourself online when you're like, oh, well, next week will happen and he just won't be here, so then you'll know. So, that's always fun to see people second guessing us and stuff and uh and and like you know they're always cautious that we're pulling

their leg again you play a trick or two or five on the fans and i like to keep them on their fucking toes suddenly everything you say is a lie yeah and people get all butthurt about it when we play a trick on you don't you just see like that's our version of a practical joke it's just a little gag just fucking with you it's one of those and people get all like oh i think this is really it for me uh this time they they fooled me and i just the the emotional roller coaster ride i can't take it it's like you need to calm down so um uh who do you think should replace taylor because i think it should be more than just you and I. I think, well, we're about to go hang out with Filthy Robot. He made the paintball trip, so I think maybe we'll talk to him

while we're at the paintball trip. Maybe he's got a little spare time. You know what a cool thing about Filthy Robot is? He doesn't agree with us all the time. He seems to have opposing views. Yeah, yeah. I like that. And he's very intelligent.

And he's not like a pseudo, which means fake. Some people think like pseudo intellectual is a compliment, but it's not. It's not at all. A pseudo intellectual is like someone who's just pretending like they know a lot of stuff. They're just big wording you. They're rolling out the thesaurus on you. And so it's like he's he's not a pseudo-intellectual like lefty uh he's a really you said it of course i said it i don't give a fuck i was only gonna think it i was gonna stop there no of course everybody knows we're talking about lefty and

i got no ill will against lefty i like lefty i played tons of video games with him had a lot of fun with him he's a nice guy's a nice guy. My mom said she liked Lefty more than Taylor. She said that Lefty was your intellectual equal. That's what she said. Well, your mom believes that dinosaurs were around 6,000 years ago. So I don't really care.

I'm sorry, Mom. She thinks Moses was riding a stegosaurus through the valley leading the Israelites. Prove he wasn't. Prove he wasn't, Kyle. Huh? Go ahead. Prove a negative.

Absolutely. Religion's a great thing. It can be a wonderful influence in your life. But when they start talking about triceratops pulling Jews around, I'm checking out right there. That's silly. Get this. Get this. The mark of the beast right it's gonna go on the back of your right hand and it will be required to buy and sell I watch it's out it's happening right now the end

days the iWatch is the mark of the beast if you see somebody with it these um they've signed their life over to the well. Well, the sales have plummeted. So I don't... So, of course, anything Apple does, the Apple loyalists are going to buy immediately. There's just a group of people, if Apple launches a new thing or even a new version of the old thing, yeah, I need the light or the

air or the slim or the mini or the macro or whatever word they put in front of it this time. They always get it and so those people all bought the watch they're the same people who wanted the goop glasses but now everybody is like i don't want that expensive fucking watch that does the same thing as my cell phone that i've already got and it doesn't really reflect you know it's it's like they try to combine it if they took the phone out of the equation and now your watch did everything

i don't know maybe but then i feel like inspector gadget everywhere like what am i on a secret mission i need to talk to mom like orange juice no lots of pulp that's bullshit you can't be doing it like get a normal phone and and all the other i didn't see any apps on there that i thought were going to change my life that that needed to be attached to my wrist. And it's just too much money. And it's silly looking, if you ask me. They're going to double down on this watch and make it awesome. That's one way they could go.

There's a fork in the road here. They could just keep pouring R&D and time and effort into making a really incredible watch. And I'm becoming an Apple fanboy just because I'm really happy with their products. I was kind of anti-Apple a few years ago, and then I got some stuff, and I'm just freaking loving it now. And I'm kind of anti-Apple a few years ago and then I got some stuff and I'm just freaking loving it now. And I'm not sponsored for those of you that are wondering. I'm just really happy. And I didn't get the watch because I don't see it does anything

that I want. And it's kind of bulky compared to what I prefer. And it turns off. So you have to, I don't know how you turn it on. Do you move your wrist or something? But it's off most of the time. And I just don't like it, but they could go two ways. They could go the ITV way, where they just fucking let it stagnate for the years, and that kind of sucks. Or they could go the iPhone way, where like the iPhone, when it was released, you know, when you first get it and it doesn't have any apps, that was their original vision. Like, yeah, it has a web browser and a calculator, was their original vision like yeah it has a web browser and a calculator the iPhone and it's cool but it wasn't until they made it a platform upon which everyone built awesome stuff for it now I use it to level your paintings you use

it to like play your games you like it there's no way they'd ever sit in a boardroom and I've said this before and didn't stuff it and be like you know what would sell more phones a A pretend beer drinking app. Let's work that in there. Yeah, right? You've seen the one. Yeah, yeah. Totally.

Right, but there's no way that Apple packages that with their phone. But when they open it up and it becomes a thing. I totally see where you're going with this. But, like, I just don't see them doing that with this watch. Like, I feel like a lot of people have to get on board with this thing. doing that with this watch. Like, I feel like a lot of people have to get on board with this thing, and like, I'm trying to think

of the things it could do that you couldn't already accomplish with your phone, like on one of those armbands attached right here. I don't get it. Like, if there's some sort of, like, fitness app that's, like, doing something or something like that, like, I feel like you could just accomplish it with a cell phone. It really seems like a useless

item. Like, and I like my regular watches like my normal watches with fucking hands on them and shit uh so you're not gonna change you're not gonna sway me away from the watch that i already spent a lot of money on to go buy this piece of electronics that i'm gonna scratch the fuck up frankly like the idea of a glass screen right here is just getting bashed into like railings and stuff and scratch this out there what if the apple watch comes with a theme that looks just like the fuck what is the fallout thing called on your wrist i could do that if i wanted if i really wanted but the the pip boy pip boy yeah you could have a pip boy right and do your shit with it dude you can do it anyway start pipping the cool way to do a pip boy is to like is to get an armband and just attach your phone horizontally.

I see it all the time on the Fallout subreddit. That's really simple, what I just described. There's a thing you can download and set your phone to that to make it a Pip-Boy, basically. It shows the form with the health of each body part and everything. It's really cool. Now we given away kyle's new business it's the casing to the iphone pip boy it's the pip it's the iphone pip boy yeah no but i've seen them make those i've seen people would have made their own pip boy but i mean i'm not that big of a fan of the game that i would want some ridiculous monstrosity on my on my arm uh no, that still wouldn't sway me. I can't think of anything

that you could put in an iWatch that would sway me to purchase that thing. If you gave me one for free, I probably still wouldn't wear it. I would feel really pretentious wearing that, and I don't know why. Mike! We were talking COD.

So, I bought Ghosts, played it a little, and I never hated a COD more. And probably everybody thinks they're a good judge of COD. Like, I'm really a COD enthusiast. It peaked at Modern Warfare 2, and every game since then has sucked. Until, of course, the next one comes out. And then I like last year's a little bit more. whatever they fucking say every goddamn year it frustrates me and sorry mom i know you watch this i'm cursing too much so um anyway i feel like i'm a unique snowflake and i'm actually right i think black ops 2 was the best one i think that's where it got great.

Yeah, I'm saying it, right? Black Ops 2, that's the one that I liked the most. It had the small maps. I don't know. I enjoyed almost every game on that thing. I felt like the pick 10 system was really awesome. That was a really big innovation. And then Ghosts came along. The colors were terrible,

especially if you weren't on a new console. But I think I'm more sensitive to that than most. I hate dra games it's a cool looking game right did you play it on a on a current console i played on both yeah i mean the xbox one i mean it was really bad on pc as well the game was just terrible even like on a console and a pc just They messed up there. They messed up so bad. I think we actually spoke in LA after we actually played it as well. Just generally talking about the game. Usually when people play it pre-release,

everyone's pretty excited about it, but there wasn't that hype about the game that everybody usually has. I was excited about how much new there was. Blitz as a game mode was new and i didn't see that coming um i'm trying to think of what else uh shocks but it seemed like at the time the dog i guess was kind of new cranked yeah yeah cranked was new so that was a cool thing. That's about it.

Yeah, that's about it. But the maps were gigantic and they sucked. Oh, wow. And... Great map. Like, that was some Game of Thrones map right there. It was just... There was just no flow to it. It was just poorly designed.

Like, Treyarch have really good designs of their maps. It's pretty much all free lanes. And then that was just... We told you not to come back we're done with you you son of a bitch are we doing the show right now yes yeah yeah i barged my way back in what do you get me told me just stop joining stop joining you're off the show here for you the listener can you tap your mic well i just joined so it's probably the listener. Can you tap your mic? Well, I just joined, so it's probably the wrong one. Well, you fucking do this professionally, asshole. Every week, you shit.

All right, well, I only have two options. All right, that's better. Yeah, so a lot of people were tweeting me very nice things, and I didn't know about it yet. Like, I was on vacation with my family, and apparently you guys kicked me off the show and I got people being like are you really gone and people being like you know what it was great while you were here best of luck on the rest of your ventures and other people like hey you're not really gone you can't really be gone like I'm this is

the last straw this is the last straw what is it oh it was all me another power grab is that what they said oh that's great yeah just on you just yeah what are you trying to take more the spotlight yeah then I tweet the just kept telling me to tweet things that were way too over-the-top that would clue in that I was, that you guys were fucking with them. And so I just tweeted well, it's been fun. So I could say it about my vacation when I got home and about

the show. But yeah. Well yeah, we went ahead and sold it a little more at the beginning of the show, so unless they skipped ahead. I think we pranked a lot of them pretty good. I'd say we got a 60% sell rate on that one. Very nice nice i think maybe even higher during this show i bet a lot of people didn't buy it after last show that did buy it at the start of this one yeah if you guys started it and we're saying like you know first show without taylor we'll just we'll see how it goes or whatever

you guys said probably just shit talking me but that really funny. I bet you convinced a lot of people. For those that don't know, Taylor just was late. Taylor, why were you late? I had a couple things to get taken care of. Ah, very specific. Yeah, well that clears it all up. I hate when that happens. Yeah, I know.

You know how it is. Things don't fall quite into place and you have to reposition them. It's very frustrating. Sounds like very frustrating like Tetris for a living Look like it. Yeah, yeah Yeah, so a lot of people said you were moving did you actually move? I'm moving soon. Yeah, people just keep jumping the gun on that I haven't moved yet But I am within the next four to six weeks or so god damn this

takes a long time like you'll legit be older by the time this transition happens i'll have wrinkles hopefully the same hairline though yeah that'd be nice that's the dream um oh so we were talking cod i i kind of want to i want to finish In my head, I feel like I accurately judge games, and I know which ones are bad. I'm sure everyone thinks that, so I'm no unique snowflake. But Ghost was bad. Advanced Warfare, I haven't even played. I haven't even purchased.

But it looks good. I feel like they did a good thing with it. The whole movement thing, the sprint thing, they actually kept the game fresh. I didn't know how they were going to do it it's fairly it's dramatically different Mike's face says he disagrees yes all right well I played it pre-release and I was like yeah this game's actually pretty good I'm excited for this year it was a refreshing change from ghosts and then you know then the

implement and like skill based matchmaking which for me was like fuck because because you play against titans like myself right um but then i think like just the general game um even though it had like a cool concept idea just generally got relatively boring quite quick uh and then like the double exos the exo jumping just makes everything so fast paced and you know everybody's kind of everywhere so there's not really like a flow to it which makes it like really good which like the previous

Call of Duty's had like even the spawns are a bit all over the place and you know you can't like predict where people are going to spawn or going to be because it's so hectic Black Ops 2 I think might have been the most hectic one prior to advanced warfare written what hectic really like modern warfare 2 black ops 2 yeah yeah like modern warfare 2 like the chopper gun on the ac-130 was pretty crazy that's not what i'm thinking of as

hectic yeah i'll admit that that had high kill counts but But in terms of finding your first gun battle, I think of Modern Warfare 2 as terminal, right? On terminal, you kind of know where their spawn is, where you're pinning them, what's going on. Modern Warfare 2 had Overgrown. Modern Warfare 2 had Terminal. Modern Warfare 2 had Wasteland. It had lots of big maps where there was a little bit of hiking

to get to the other guy. Black Ops 2, I think of as, what the hell is the one with the, it's a small town. There's like a street. B-Dom is right in the middle of the street. Overflow? Overflow? I don't know. There's a lot where B-Dom's in the middle of the street.

I'm trying to think. Fucking Treyarch. I could talk about Treyarch on that. I'm trying to think. Fucking Treyarch. I could talk about Treyarch on that. There's a car right next to BDOM. That doesn't help much either.

I think it's a pickup truck, actually. Is it Cuba? Is it based in Cuba? You're thinking of my work for two, I think. Yeah, I'm going back. It might be standoff. There's by ADOM that you can go inside the building and then stand on the roof. Yeah, standoff, yeah. there's um by adam that you can go inside the building and then stand on the roof yeah yeah stand off yeah yeah um like in that map if you want a gunfight you're never more than like six

seconds away from your first bad guy whereas if you go to modern warfare 2 there's a little hiking to be done oftentimes like the maps are a little bigger and more spread out um and they did that because of the kill streaks yeah with it what was the one on monomorph or two shit i play so much domination b dom's in the middle of a building there's a long hallway um favela nope b dom is not in the middle of the building yeah uh shit it uh there's like a hole in the side of the wall to get outside. The one where B-Dom is right in the middle. No, in the middle of a long hallway. There's an incline where you like walk up the side and go the other way. I think it's the match. Nope. I think it's the map that Hutch had his like, you know,

Hutch did like one of his famous commentaries on it. That might not help you. Like, you know, when he was first getting hired with Machinima, he had, like, a down and an upswing in his life, and everyone was kind of engaged about it. Oh, that's well shit. I need a website that did Modern Warfare 2 maps. It's okay.

We don't have to. But what were you going to say about that map that it took a while to get to the other side it took a while to a state right there was some freaking hiking involved um invasion like you had to go out there and get there and the map i'm talking about is come on baby where are you i hated a state you were literally fighting an uphill battle if you got spawned at sea or whatever by that shitty little outhouse they put you down there by that like tin roofed piece of shit

and everybody else gets an actual estate at the top there should have been two estates yeah it should have been the estates fighting in Beverly Hills that would have been a real cool map you should hire me terminal I thought was a pretty quick paced map when i played it like i know what you mean about overgrown overgrown sucked unless you were thermal sniping

then it was fun but you know terminal you just got by that gas tank and shot at the bookstore whatever it was wasteland i thought was too big and terminal it still like you spawn outside you got to run in you got to go up the escalators and then there's your battle by C-Dom. Or you go to the left and there's your battle down the long hallway in Bookstore by A-Dom. Whereas, like, what was the one from Black Ops 2 that you named for me? B-Dom was in the street with the truck. Yeah, maybe it was Standoff. I gotta do that.

And your battles were just right there. Anyway, Black Ops 2 was really quickly paced. It seems like the current one, Advanced Warfare, is even more fast-paced. And I guess people don't like it. It's crazy. It is a bit crazy. I mean, I think they have some cool stuff with it. Like, the supply drops were a relatively cool idea.

I disagree with how much they charge for them. It's like $2 per supply drop, which I think is pretty expensive. Again, it's an okay game, but it's just so hectic. And then when you compare it to the older Call of Duty's, there just doesn't really seem to be that much rhythm and flow to it, which kind of think what made Call of Duty 4

and Black Ops 2 and Black Ops 1, you know, really good games. But, you know, Black Ops 3 looks pretty interesting. I mean, Treyarch made some good CODs, so we'll see. So, Mike, you're a competitive COD player, right? I used to be. I stopped doing that because I did not want to play 12 hours a day.

And it was not fun. Yeah, I don't want to play Advanced Warfare one hour a day. And I haven't in eight months. Like, it's just not fun at all. I like the... Everybody shit talks that, like, the little boost you can do. I think that's fun if you only play the infected game mode. If you play infected, it makes it great.

Everything else, not great. I like infected. I used to... Yeah. Infected was part of my strategy. Like, when I did game commentaries, I would have ideas for topics and those topics would fit into like three, five, seven or ten minute categories. Infected, three minute video. So if I have a quick idea, that would be an

infected video. If I had a longer idea, that might be like a TDM, which would go like five to seven minutes. If I had a really long idea, like a Mail Monday or something, they were typically over Domination, which went 10 minutes plus. That was how I did it. See, another good way to do it is if you have like a 12 minute idea and a three minute clip, you just play the clip four times. And then you got a real great video

that people don't complain about. Oh, oh yes, I'm sure that my subs would never complain. There's probably people cursing me out in this for the power grab of kicking you off the show right now. Oh, all the people who were going to comment before they got to this point in the video. They're like, this whole episode sucks without Taylor. Fuck everyone. And they're going to say that. Oh, that's funny.

That's better that you guys started off a little bit of the show with me not here. Yeah, that's what I said. Yeah. I was pretty happy with that result. That's pretty funny. I really like fucking with them. We're gonna kill... Somebody's gonna die soon. We're gonna fake that next. Who would die here? We'll kill Chiz or something. Chiz, totally. We'll say that he... If there's ever a train derailment, we'll be like,

That was the one! That was Chiz, totally. We'll say that he if there's ever like a train derailment, we'll be like that was the one. That was Chiz's train. Oh, I pray to God that a Zeppelin explodes somewhere. We'll be like, Chiz was on his way home via freaking Hindenburg. Or just wait for like the next bi-hourly Greyhound bus stabbing and say it was him.

Oh, another guy stabbed. This one for his iPhone. Yeah, he's taking a train this time, and Woody says it actually looks pretty nice. He sent me some selfies and stuff. Actually, he wasn't even in his own selfies, but he sent me pictures of, like, out the window and of his room and stuff. It's pretty sweet. I refuse to believe he's doing all this shit-tier 1887-style travel just for his memoirs. I think he's terrified of flying, and he doesn't want to talk about it.

That has to be it. No one would subject themselves to this. No one. Wait, so what's he doing? So we've had, Chiz has had to travel a bunch recently, right? Whenever that was, April, we went to Chicago. He lives in Sacramento, California. Okay.

So from California to Chicago is like a two and a half day train ride maybe, something like that. And he does that- It's called three days because by the time you get there- Oh, did I say hour? I meant day.

I think I said hour. But it's a two and a half day, three day train ride to Chicago and then back. And then he went to North Carolina because I did this team building event for my staff at the Minecraft server. And so he took like a three and a half

or four day bus, a bus to North Carolina across the continent. And then back. Lewis and Clark took months to make that happen. Chiz knocks it out in four to five days and he figures he's done well.

It's a Greyhound bus and he's not flying and then rather than he didn't think of it he could have stayed here a little longer and then like swung home via chicago but instead he took the bus all the way back to california stayed there for a few days now he's taking a train back to chicago and he's just traveling all over the u.s which is really a flight he should have stayed with you and then like maybe I could have came up and we could have done something and then we could have all went together maybe even. That's a great idea. Yeah, I would have totally been down for that. You didn't think of that. Yeah, we got like... Well, but you know how crazy those Greyhound bus tickets are if you wait until the last minute. Damn it, it jumped to $40. They could cost dozens of dollars.

Greyhound bus tickets should be like when you rent a car you should be able to get insurance with that like he said that he has to hide his iPhone yeah like stolen item insurance like medical so anti-stabbing coverage they used to sell flight insurance do they still do that this covers you in case you can contract an STD on the bus. That's true. There were vending machines. They looked like ATM machines. And you could bet on whether you'd die on your flight or not.

Like back in the 80s. Yeah. And you'd be like, huh, I don't know. I do have kids. Maybe I should buy some. I'm making a lot of trouble these days. Yeah. And you would buy flight insurance at like an ATM or like old school cigarette vending machine type thing. You know, to chuck it out and print you out a little flight insurance receipt.

That was, that's an old school thing. Every once in a while, you'll still see cigarette vending machines. I see those every so often, like an old decrepit one down in southern Missouri where my grandparents lived near. It's just an old piece of shit where you can pay like three dollars for a pack of paul malls is that a really cheap brand i think so from the 80s machine yeah you get it they're all falling apart man it's got like a 1991 raffle in there like chance to win your own sega genesis there like chance to win your own Sega Genesis Pontiac Gremlin or whoever made the Gremlin so if you're great I'm interested in your life because you are a youtuber you went at it pretty

hard in quite some time and uh and now you're kind of getting out of the youtube scene like I feel like you're the youtuber that that uh it's not on people's wow that's gonna but like i want to say not on people's minds but not in any negative way but like you know i think of the pewdiepies and the people who are still at the peak of their whatever or even the you know i don't know like it there's some guys who maybe aren't even peaking anymore but they're top of mind you silently sort of like hey I'm I'm you know figuring out what to do next how do you feel about your YouTube ride like I grinded pretty hard like in MW3 but then looking back at what I did, like all I pretty much did was wake up, play Call of Duty, make a video, edit it or bloat it. And that was pretty much my day for like a year.

And even though like YouTube was pretty good, like I just had like basically no life and probably not the best way to live life. And then like Black Ops 2, I kind of like grinded out relatively serious and then Ghost came out that kind of sucks I did the esports kind of thing and then Advanced Warfare came out and I don't know like YouTube wise don't feel like it's too good to do so I basically was like alright I really don't want to grind as much really. So like currently I work for Red Bull, which is pretty interesting. And then I recently launched a new company

about a month ago, which has also like started off really well, which is kind of surprising. So I don't know, I like YouTube. I mean, it's a very small- Did you do YouTube as an alternative to university? Well, I did. So when I was like 17, I was working and I was at college.

And then I did YouTube on the side as well. And then when I started making more money basically from YouTube than my job, I stopped working and, you know, pretty much pursued YouTube. And then, you know, Machinima had all that drama where they could like 66% pay cut or whatever it was back then. I don't know if you heard I got all that money that was a

rumor they started about me that they cut everybody else's did you hear that did that one get to you yeah yeah they said that everyone else got pay cut so that they could keep me in like a monster contract but stupid

And I'm pretty much like Yeah, that was fun I mean we did we did well and then like I kind of like I wouldn't say like single-handedly manage the team But I kind of like saw the majority of the sponsors out and all that kind of stuff So like, you know YouTube YouTube for me was to potentially lead into a career. Like, you know, I know I never ever going to get like five million freaking subscribers or anything like that. So for me, it was like a potentially just, you know, a stepping stone into a career, which essentially it has led into for me. So, you know, it's I used to think YouTube was a predictable bell curve, right?

Like I watched, you know, me, and you don't know how big the bell is, right? But I was like, all right, you come on, you either have it or you don't, right? Not everyone's cut out to be a star on YouTube. You go as high as whatever high you get, and then you come back down. And then since then i've watched

a lot of people i feel like i justine had a bounce shea carl's had a huge bounce right he's wildly successful um gold glove was i'll say a bigger deal than me in like cod 4 a smaller deal than me in like black ops 1 and a bigger deal than me right now you know like so the keys had a really bumpy thing uh jericho is another guy you So he's had a really bumpy thing. Jericho is another guy, you know, who's had kind of a late resurgence, and I'm like, oh, isn't this interesting? I've changed my mind.

I was going to say reformed my mind. I don't know why I'd say that. But I've changed my mind on this thing. It's not a predictable bell curve. I mean, even the likes of Zerka as well. Zerka did really good back in MW2 when he did the sniper things and then went into FIFA and didn't do as well.

And now Zerker is doing incredible. I think he's got like one and a half million subscribers or something now. So I think it's a lot to do with the algorithm and then a little bit of everything really kind of kicks in.

Even though you might not be doing so well for like a year or two, eventually you could just automatically spike up again. It is a bit of everything really kind of kicks in. Like, even though you might not be doing so well for like a year or two, like eventually, you know, you could just automatically spike up again. It is a bit of a rollercoaster. It's extremely unpredictable though, for sure. I don't know why I didn't see it before, but now I see it as a lot like an acting career. You know, there are some people who are just, you know,

there's the Tom Cruises of the world who always seem to be on top of the scene and never make a mistake. But the rest of the working out actors out there you know sometimes they get roles for a while sometimes they go a couple years between hits and it comes and goes and uh so i guess what i'm saying is if you went after youtube hard again there's no saying that your second run wouldn't be better than your first if i'm allowed to do it. I know in like five days if I can actually do YouTube or not. I don't think we talked about that on air.

Oh, shall we? I don't know how much of you want to share. I joined back at a good time. You're not allowed on YouTube. So, for me, long term, I just want to work within the video game industry or that kind of industry. And I got approached by a couple of companies basically so i just got back from germany because i went to talk to a company in germany about working there and like it just might be difficult working for like a video game developer or a publisher and then like

promoting activision on the side kind of thing like it's um an interesting perspective like every single publisher or developer that i spoke to is extremely strict about running a youtube channel on the side so uh we'll we'll see but like i i also defend depends how black ops 3 is like if the beta is good next month i'll probably grind out the beta see if that has a decent reception on youtube if If it does, and I'm allowed to come and do a YouTube on the side, then I'll probably grind it out a little bit and then just see how stuff goes.

And if it sucks, then I can't see myself doing it. Like, because I'm not, you know, like Advanced Warfare was just so, it just wasn't also fun to create content on. I just was, I didn't want to actually make Advanced Warfare content. I don't want to love a year of like,

Do you think that's the game or is it you? And I'll just make the question longer, but there are a lot of people who think that COD peaked at COD 4 or Modern Warfare 2. And I would argue those weren't the best in the series. Instead, they were just a lot of people's first introduction to the series.

They've never recaptured their personal passion. It's not that Black Ops 2 wasn't better. That's the one I think was personally best, or Modern Warfare 3 or whatever. It's just that, you know, not you, but the people are getting a little nostalgic over how great Modern Warfare 2 was when I think of it as a game that was broken

for the first five months of its 12-month cycle. That shit was horribly broken. It was horribly OP. And if the gun balance was as bad now as like the ACR and, um, what was the little one? The MAS. Uh, that's Black Ops 1, but the little

the UMP45, right? If the UMP45 and ACR existed in today's games, I think they'd be very upset about it. So, circling back, is Advanced Warfare actually bad, or is it you um i would honestly say i would honestly say it's slightly a little bit of both like i i don't think the game is incredible to make content on and i think the majority of people would also say that

like the channels that are doing like pretty well from doing COD you know you've got like Chaos Silencer who does like a lot of like top 10 plays and stuff like that you know Tmart and Ali-A of course um and then the other channels are more like search engine channels really I would say uh like doing the supply drop openings and those kind of videos uh I kind of agree but then like my channel probably got like the most views during Modern Warfare 3. But I didn't like that game. The amount of times I rage quit just to get a good gameplay. I had like 0.1 KD in that game.

It was... 0.1 KD? Oh, bro, I rage quit so many games. That game was frustrating. That's win-loss maybe you're thinking of. Oh, yeah, yeah, win-loss, sorry. Yeah, yeah, because you used to get double nukes that was like a thing that you did a lot yeah i remember kyle messaging me and doing frame i like complete fanboy as well um

like the mw yeah i like those videos a lot uh outrageous so much with that game with the and i just remember seeing i think we like the mp7 or something and it just seemed like every time you lock that mp7 on somebody they just it was like a laser beam it was just like die die die and you just you were um uh kill confirmed you were just racking up so many points that you were just consistently getting the highest kill streaks just whatever you wanted it seemed but i know exactly what you mean outrageously good like fucking stupid he was really really good i i i'm out of words for how ridiculous his modern warfare 3 gameplay was and and like like see i i feel a little different like i know they're so impressive and great but watching gameplay videos from people like you or Socrates or who are just incredible,

it's like watching a Brock Lesnar workout video where then you're like, yeah, yeah, I'm about to amp my life up. I'm not turning around. And then you go to the gym and you're like, what was he doing? Like something with a dumbbell and lift his knee. You're like, oh, this is too hard. Where do you even start? Dude, my whole channel was based on the notion that people like

FearCreds couldn't even give advice to normals right i was like you know i tried playing like x cal or whatever he's also very good and uh you know like what is like oh i see what he does he sprints into oncoming fire all the time and kills everyone who he sees i'll try that style and it didn't work for me at all so i that was when I figured out, like, ah, move from cover to cover. And as I looked more, I realized that a lot of times what the best players were doing was just a faster, more aggressive version of what worked for me. Like, Xcal called his own style aggressive camping. He's like, people say I'm a camper, but he really wasn't.

He was just, like, moving from cover to cover, always making sure he was, like, head glitching as much as he could. Huh, cover. What a camper. Not just running around like a chicken with his head cut off. But yeah, once you're that good at games, it's almost hard to give advice to someone who's starting new. If you're a bad runner and Usain Bolt is your teacher on the first day, you're just going to be like, well, you just have to be faster.

There's just no... You need an unexceptional person to get you to the next level and then take off from there so what do you was like the the gateway drug of becoming a good player i like that that's me that's that i think my new thing yeah the gateway drug um so what was I saying? I don't know. I guess I want to ask, like, how the fuck were you so good at Modern Warfare 3? I played a lot. I did.

I'll be honest. I played that game a lot. I think, like, what, Modern Warfare 3? Man, that was a long time ago. Like. Did you get unhealthy? Say that again, sorry? So a lot of people underestimate how much work YouTube is.

Again, I'm sure there's some nurse out there installing a catheter or changing a bedpan. Like, oh yeah, must be terrible. But you do it all the time. Every waking minute is devoted to your social media. If you're not playing, you're commentating or you're rendering or you're uploading. And if you're not doing one of those, you're responding to comments or hanging out on social media. You know, if you're not playing, you're commentating or you're rendering or you're uploading. And if you're not doing one of those, you're like responding to comments or hanging out on social media. Like every minute that I was awake, you know, during the, like when I was going at it hard was devoted to like making fan content one way or another. It might just be loving them up in content comments or Twitter or making videos or whatever and uh a lot of people

are like yeah yeah you know i'm doing great i think but not feeling healthy not you know i gained 12 pounds but this happened i i think gold glove tweeted recently that he didn't like doing the drinking streams or something people liked watching them but he felt like it wasn't good for him well he just needs to take a page right out of wings of of Redemption's book, you get some Kool-Aid in there and nobody knows the fucking difference. Just put some sweet tea in your whiskey bottle, whatever he did. Mike, what do you think of this? We had several drinking episodes and later, months later, after the fact, we came to find that Wings of Redemption was drinking Kool-Aid when we were all drinking like hard alcohol and he was like glug glug glug like he was drinking vodkaool-aid when we were all drinking like hard alcohol and he was like

like he was drinking vodka like we thought it was like strawberry vodka or something and he really sold it he he took naps right it was crystal light is what it was he drank his crystal light and then later in the show he's just like he's taking naps he's passed out but that is an incredible ruse if that's all true so i can just have a bunch of sweet tea and then not do half of the show and people that's all he did dude and part of it was like he didn't know anything about drinking right and that might even be true like like because like I don't really know a lot about – I guess I know what to drink or what not to drink, kind of, sort of. But Wings, he's like, oh, it's a drinking episode.

I got this vodka. And we're like, whoa, whoa. You can't get it all with vodka. He was like Michael Scott when he bought vodka for the whole – he's like, well, is this enough to get 15 people drunk? And he's like, seven bottles of vodka? Yeah a let you get 15 people drunk and he's like seven bottles of vodka yeah yeah so we just soup that was wings he just like went and got himself a whole thing i missed like smearing off or something's like yeah a handle of vodka should do it like but i still remember what he got he got dr mcgillicuddy's something schnapps and i

remember him saying it because i was like okay first of all you're drinking schnapps by itself it's just like drinking a bunch of syrup and sugar and your teeth are going to be sticky and i saw it in a store like a year ago and it was like the very bottom of the bottom row of alcohol because he was just supposed to walked in and been like well. It's got doctor in it And it's just a little imported on wounds in the Hilarious Funny it I still don't understand that whole ruse, but but that was that was a lot of fun I still think we should we should do another I like the drinking episodes when we do them But the trick is to get I think the trick is good drinking games I was watching it's always sunny in philadelphia last night and i noticed their drinking game was

the group has to be has to name all 50 states and while you think you drink so if you can go georgia south carolina florida alabama arkansas west virginia kentucky and if you can if you just keep them rolling you don't have to drink but as as soon as you're like, North Dakota, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, Washington, Oregon, California, glug, glug, glug, glug. See, the problem with that is that the people in that show are functionally retarded. Like, three people who aren't idiots,

there's never going to be a part. They didn't know the states. Oh, no, we've named all six, where they're like, North Philadelphia, East Philadelphia. That's what they were doing. He was like, she was like, West Virginia. He's like, East Virginia. And then she goes, North Virginia. And Frank's over there.

Frank's like, you guys are retarded. He knows all the states. You have to do something harder than that. I do the drinking episodes because people like them. It's just a type of work for me but i hate them i don't look i dread them i dread them i don't like drinking and i came in at pretty

so i'm almost wings like and then i don't know what the fuck to drink i don't i don't want to drink anything that's like awful like um maker's mark is that what you ordered for me like the first time i ordered you a maker's mark manhattan oh my god i i don't remember him saying manhattan but he's probably right i don't really know my drink it was a you know it was a big it was a cocktail glass you know it was like is that what manhattan is a size well no it's i think there's vermouth and i know there's some cherry stuff in there well i don't blame you it was big and it was brown and he ordered that thinking that I was a man or something. He didn't know how gay I was at the time. And I was drinking those at the time because I just had been hanging out in Chicago with Mike and all those guys that own the feed.

Not Mike, Paul. Paul and all of his friends. This is a people person. And they would feed me these things all week. I was drinking three or four of them a day. And so I had actually acquired a taste for that Maker's Mark. mark well i'm glad because you had mine yeah i had to drink his i ended up like like i think that was the first time i ever meet woody face to face we're at a bar at pax in boston uh and and i'm like yeah i got us two of these enjoy we're like clink and i'm yeah damn that's good I don't like this

like I'm sorry I thought you were a man something that's pink or maybe with a umbrella in it back there young lady I'll get you a martini or something over here and Kyle is that well I always want to describe Kyle's talent with getting along with everybody without it being a knock because i'm i'm genuinely impressed by it i was gonna say social chameleon but i'm afraid that's not a positive thing predator go with that but yeah if kyle's with me he's like yeah this fucking drink with a gingerbread man put in it it's my favorite one. That's what we got at Outback or something.

Do you remember what it was called? It was a gingerbread martini. Okay. There was a gingerbread man in it. Yeah. It literally came with the cookie. A gingerbread man standing on top of the martini. And it was good.

It was the Starbucks version of alcohol. It's pretty much a milkshake, right? It was like coffee mixed with alcohol, and there was a little burn, but it wasn't overpowering. It was tasty. It was good. With the drinking episodes, Woody, you put yourself through hell for no reason. Last time, you just got a bunch of Baileys and mixed it with actual cream or milk. It was just so thick, and it was curdling in your stomach.

I want to collude it in cream because I like that drink. I remember liking it from a long time ago. But when you're doing a lot of drinks, all of a sudden it's like that gallon milk challenge, right? It's just like, oh, it's so thick. And Jackie's making it with cream, which was good. But how many calories did I consume that night a lot like oh my goodness probably 400 of worth of cream or something at least like cream is just fat in a jar

it's it's just cream and probably had very strong bones the next day from all that milk i got how did my drink choice make me a chameleon though because when you're with paul you're like oh i get along maker's mark right i can do it just fine and when you're with paul you're like oh i get along maker's mark right i can do it just fine and when you're with me it's like oh woody here's a drink that looks like a rainbow it literally goes blue to yellow they put the gay pride parade right here there's a penis in there that's what happens he's like what do you want to get one of these? Yeah, that looks good.

It even comes with a dildo straw. No, yeah, you know, when in Rome, I guess that's the expression. So, you know, if I'm hanging around with a bunch of good old boys, then I can drink some old Milwaukee if I have to and just chill out and have a good time. But, you know, I'll blend in. I'm up for whatever. Milwaukee if I have to and just chill out and have a good time. I'll blend in. I'm up for whatever.

It's not that I'm like, let me choke down this nasty shit so I can fit in. It's like, that's what we're doing here. Alright, let's do this together. And it works. I don't know how we got on the drinking topic. When we do the 50 states game, we need to have mike back on

because he would struggle at that we'll just say like right off the bat what he's like texas kyle says california and i say new york florida new jersey and that's it that's it yes i was giving you a chance to think of mine um, but what I'm trying to ask in a polite way is the version of you that is real versus the version of you that never found YouTube. Better? Worse? Wait, what? Yes. So you were in university before your YouTube channel exploded, right? Right.

If you had never done YouTube, are you better or worse than you're doing um well if i didn't do youtube i'd probably still be teaching sports in schools and that was like 12 hours a day which wasn't too fun um and you know over the past couple of years i basically like traveled the world essentially. Made some decent money. Got a sports car. And going into a career that I'm going to be pretty passionate about. So I think I'm definitely doing better.

Alright, I'm going to judge you. What car did you get? I got a 350Z. So it's like a sports car in England. Oh, I know what that is. That's the Nissan. It's a very nice sports car. So you guys have different cars Yeah, yeah. I just. So you guys have different cars in those though, like, I mean, the pricing of them, not different

cars, but like, you know, you guys have more like the Camaros and the Dodgers and that kind of stuff. Like, you know, you, you don't see many of them in England, for example, right? You don't see many Corvettes and all those kinds of vehicles. And also our insurance and stuff is completely different to you guys. It's freaking stupid here. You probably don't know, but I've talked about car purchases a lot. If I was your financial advisor, you'd be in a Ford Escort right now. Or Ford Focus, I mean to say.

Honestly, it was a really stupid purchase at 19. I bought the car without actually checking the insurance price. Bought the car and then checked online my insurance. I bought the car without actually checking the insurance price. Bought the car and then checked online my insurance. And for the first year, it was 7,000 pounds, which is like... What's like a million dollars? That's like $12,000. That is a lot. Holy smokes. You pay 12 grand a year and... Literally, I bought the car. I didn't check the insurance. I was like, well, this is... I've got to do it now because I've already bought the car. Thankfully, it check the insurance. I was like, well, I've got to do it now because I've already bought the car. Thankfully, it's dropped a lot now. It's like 1,500 pounds right now, which isn't too bad for a 21-year-old. It's like three and a half liters, so it's

a lot better. But yeah, I'm trying to just get more into the property market right now, so I'm saving for a house or two. So I'm just going from there. Saving for a house or two. So you're going to be a real estate mogul. That's the next step. You can't really go wrong with property. And my expenses right now is literally my car and that's it. So it's quite easy to save money. And I figured I may as well make the most of that right now and then just invest in something long term, is probably going to be uh properties so just go from there i saw my cousin scott yesterday he had he he just had came off like 10 days of a stomach flu and he looked like he dropped about 25 pounds so i like he's super skinny scott but like uh he's currently trying to decide uh it what kind of sports car to

buy he's like he's he's um he's like he's like i'm kind of i'm either gonna get a 2010 corvette or i'm gonna get like a 2000 uh a 2004 uh mustang body and then like build it from the ground up into kind of a race car type souped up thing so he's gonna go one of those ways it seems like he really likes the Corvettes and he's got the cash to spare it seems the 2004 Mustang body those were the pointy nosed ugly ones weren't they before they got to have the more boxed

old style look no it was the year right before the new body style in 2005 they went to the one that looked like the 60's model but before that it was kind of the boxy squared one In 2005, they went to the one that looked like the 60s model. But before that, it was kind of a boxy squared one from 2000 to 2004. Damn it, Scott.

So Scott has a freaking good job. Scott is a certified welder. And if you don't know, this is a trade that can pay well. And he got into a nice position working on a nuclear power plant, has him secure as secure as jobs go uh for the next couple years out five years yeah something like that um we don't know exactly but but he's doing he so he's doing that job and and that job's doing its thing but he's also doing these jobs where he drives around the country now and it's like super duper overtime mode so like he'll go somewhere and work for like six weeks

and make like 30 grand like he's really making quite a lot of money right now so he's like yeah that 2010 corvette it's like 35 000 i'm gonna make that in in 30 in about 35 days so yeah let's get the 2010 corvette well six weeks is 42 days and we haven't paid taxes on that yet so let's make it like 60 days and uh he'd finance anyway i'm sure on top of that i'm like you know hey have you put if you own your own business you can put in 50 grand a year i think it's 52 grand a year something like that into your sep ira has he fully funded his retirement account before he did this corvette of course not of course not course fuck you know like some people does this guy how old is this guy

I see the 20 20 28 yeah yeah he doesn't look 29 does he no way there he is what's there is oh 30 of those in this house I have so many of those please I gotta I got a coffee mug with that what he's got it framed I think I got a t-shirt that has that on it people have I met you in real life um I've been around a bunch of events at one time or another. I've been to a bunch of the PAX's, PAX Prime, and... I haven't been to PAX. I just can't remember if I met you at CODXP or not.

CODXP, I was there. It's hard to say. I'm sure I remember your face. I recognized you as soon as you came in. I think you were both at the first CODXP. I remember you inviting me to Tampa for something. I remember getting a YouTube inbox message from you, like, come to my gun range or something.

Oh, yeah, I know what it was. Yeah, you were going, it seemed like you were coming over here and you were going to be in the area. And yeah, we were down in Tampa with some cannons. Yeah. Ah, okay. Yeah, I remember going to Florida for two weeks and I got a message from you like oh I heard you're in Florida come to Tampa if you want I was like that sounds great but yeah we were blowing up trailers with with cannons and sniper rifles and shit yeah that was a fun day I think that was when I was with

Vixen that was a very long time ago Vixen yeah is that a company or a person no it was a girl girl tell me more oh i thought that was your gaming team like they all no no no that was before the lightning pandas oh cow you remember her you messaged her man i'm sure i i'm sure everyone did i think she messaged everyone i think i wouldn't be surprised that was a bad mistake for sure but a bit loose nah I just like she just was a bit crazy you know I guess from the name like insane all girls I've ever met a woman who wasn't a little bit crazy at least though I was telling my wife that all girls are crazy right everyone

everyone's like oh no that one's crazy that one's crazy or this one's crazy and it's always like no no they're they're all crazy like have you met my mom like my mom's fucking crazy like you wouldn't want to deal with her like they're very irrational beings i i was talking to jackie like all girls are crazy and she's like no this isn't true all girls aren't crazy and then like you know like whatever three days later she'll be crazy i'm like you see you see, this is you. This is your brand of crazy. All girls are crazy. You just pick a brand of crazy that fits you.

Oh, how does that work out in the moment? See, crazy bitch. I feel like we're like, there's so much, so many deposits in the emotional bank account that I can get away with shit like that. You know, it's like, like, I'll take a step back. You see, this is your crazy. And she's like, eh, I see it. Oh, hey, I wanted to talk about the Babadook because you said it wasn't scary. And I didn't finish it.

I'm still 50 minutes in. What is the Babadook? Is that the film? It's a film, yeah. That film's dreadful. Is it on Netflix or on Twitter? It's on netflix uh it's called the baba duke and uh it's uh it's sort of like it's there's a monster in the closet

seemingly and there's a there you don't know if the lady's going i don't know if the lady's going crazy or if there's an actual like magical children's book that has a demon in it that's trying to possess her and make her kill her child but there were some really intense scary moments in there and we had to turn it off my girlfriend was screaming she was like turn it off turn it off turn it off and I didn't mind turning it off one bit because it really was pretty fucking scary we had to turn it off like she initiated it's too she initiated she was screaming did you give any you know reservations where it's like oh you want to stick with it a little more or were you mean only like

fumbling for the remote to get it off both because what happened first was we made it 42 minutes into this hour and 30 minute movie so 42 minutes in stop stop stop and i'm just like really we gotta stop like because she's done this a couple times already she's like yes yes i can't go anymore and i'm like all right stop so like two hours later after watching some looney tunes or something to chill her out i'm like you want to try the baba duke again let's finish this up and she's like all right all right so we press play at 42 minutes in at seven minutes later at 49 minutes in just if you if any of you out there watch the baba duke just keep in mind around 48 49 minutes in that's some scary fucking shit.

What's happening in it? Can you give a hint? Like a reminder for me? Don't give too much away. I haven't seen a good scary movie in a long time. I think I might watch this. Is she first seeing hints of the monster? Is that what it is?

She's under the covers and stuff. And shit's going down. And when the shit went down literally um she screamed and hit me and was like doing this like stop it stop it stop it and i was just like all right fuck like like so we haven't went back since it was maybe five or ten minutes after where you are that i figured out the representation and the symbolism of the film and I'm not good at that but it like it's like I'm never the guy that's like me to believe that you're just wrong I'm just like no it's a scary fucking monster man I'm just nah I'm usually not the guy who's like

you know like oh I see this represents her fucking like penis complex or something. But in this case, I was like, I get it. The Babadook is that. Yeah, now this whole thing makes sense. It appears the little girl is a bit afraid of this Babadook. Yeah. So is it an actual quality

scary movie where there's suspense and it's not just like boom, boom, boom, popping out at you? Because I don't get riled up by that i don't like that it's not it's different than that i felt like the jump the jump scares to me were unrelenting it wasn't like oh you were scared weren't you yeah but it was just a cat cat no it's not that it's like and you're just like god no make it stop when do we when does the sun come up and we know it's just

a dream like like it just shit just keeps coming for you and you're it's it won't let you have that moment of real you know relief when you're just like oh well that was scary huh yeah yeah this is a pretty scary movie isn't it like there's not a lot of that bullshit in between scares i got all i got analytical on it, which is why I was less scared I'm like oh yeah, she's fighting it that way well that makes sense this ties into my thesis like oh Yeah, and then she's doing this and this is it how she's countering it and oh, this is how it wraps I knew it didn't you find the kid really annoying oh? Yeah, I said I was like so the ladies got the kid was perfectly cast

I thought like he was the ladies got... The kid was perfectly cast, I thought. He was supposed to be a challenging kid. It was difficult to watch him, in my opinion. I mean, it was kind of scary, I understand where you're coming from, but that kid just frustrated me the whole freaking time. In my head, she has a special needs kid. That kid's on the spectrum somehow, and it's another thing she has to cope with. I didn't click on Like You, though though i still don't actually get the ending i i well let's not spoil

it for everyone i won't spoil it but for those of you out there um you know i i used to pick movies every week for netflix and like everybody's watching but like i'll say the baba duke i mean it may the ending may change my mind but i'm'm 49, 50 minutes in, somewhere in there, 48, 49 minutes in, and it's quite horrifying right now. And the last movie that scared me this badly was The Grudge, I think. And I don't know, something about stuff,

those pale faces crawling toward you all twitchy just really horrified me back in the day. So you didn't like The Ring either? I hated The Grudge. Those movies did scare me um possession movies really scare me uh because i because in some small way like like if you're religious at all or if you have any religious background you have a little bit of there's a little bit of like thing there that's like yeah demons demons are real like like you

have actual adults who will like go along i bet I bet certain people in this call might know someone who believes very strongly that demons could possess you and work into your life and make things difficult for you. So making the leap in a horror movie just becomes all that easier and it's even more frightening. So demons scare me. Aliens scare me. But slashers never scare me. Anything that I could literally deal with with a gun like i'm not scared of that at all like like the guy sneaking into your house late at night

like he's fucked like it's the complete opposite of that like if i see an alien movie i don't really give a shit i'm not scared if i see a demon movie it's like all right this is all make-believe there's no ghouls and goblins out to get me but if i see like not just like a slasher serial killer that's going around willy-nilly killing people like jason but if it's like a meticulous calculated serial killer that would be around with before you could set up your armory and be there like some gallant hero ready to fend him off those are creepy because it's like that guy could be standing behind me right now just with a weird smile on his face and one of those Edward Scissorhands shaving blades in his hands ready to slice you open. That's what's way scarier.

While the screen went white, I was typing to Mike the deeper symbolism of the movie. I'm right, right? Like I nailed it? I don't click on it. I just see – But do you appreciate the movie on a whole Another level now Yeah but the kid just annoyed me The whole time

Maybe not It was an annoying kid I want My first thought was when Early on it seemed like she was super frazzled The kid was super frazzled I was like If I'm that parent I have to check myself in somewhere And the kid was super frazzled i was like if i'm that parent i have to check myself

in somewhere and the kid needs to be checked we have to be separated because i can't take care of the kid and i might be like the kid might be endangering me and i might be endangering the kid we're better separate like i'd had to i'd have had to cut ties with the kid have you seen the new insidious i haven't i think uh is insidious the one where there are the videotapes of the family murders? That's sinister, right? Oh, wait. Are you thinking of Paranormal? No.

That also describes Paranormal. But there aren't videotapes of the murders. There's videotapes of all the paranormal activity. And the thing I'm talking about, the videotapes comprise solely of the murders. Oh, okay. I think – oh, shit. I watched that the other night. It's very scary.

I think that's called Sinister. It's Sinister. The first one had Ethan Hawke in it. That movie is very, very scary. Yeah. But I'm not – I think I get that confused with – what's the one you mentioned? Insidious. Insidious.

What's that about? What's the premise there? Insidious. Insidious. What's that about? What's the premise there? They travel in another realm and they can see the dead and the dead can come into the real world

and stuff like that. I wish we could do a movie night on PKA again. I wish I could stream a movie. You never have rights to do something like that. We used to do something like that with Netflix. But just like a big chat session where we all watch together that'd be fun yeah i could do that well i uh i like scary movies a lot there's just not a lot of really good ones i don't like cheap just don't watch the new insidious it

is it's terrible like the first two are pretty good in my opinion but the last one i went to the cinema and we walked out about three quarters of the way through. That's the trouble with horror movies. I feel like if I watch say a romantic comedy, an action movie or whatever, a bad movie is still like, a bad horror movie can be truly, truly awful.

Just a job to sit through. Bad horror movies are the worst of the bad movies. Maybe they're harder to do well. What movies have you guys gotten up and walked out of? I'm curious because you just said you have. A lot of people won't get up and walk out because they feel like they're wasting money. That's the only film

that I've watched and was like, this is truly shit. I've got to go. If it's that bad though, you should just leave. It's a sunk cost. You're not going to get your money back. So just get up and save your time. What have you guys left? I can't remember. There's been a few movies that I just turned off um skyfall or something is really bad as well i thought no not turned off like in theaters like just got i've never done that never never done that now woody uh it's been so long i can't remember you know warlock maybe uh that was quite bad is that

the one that's got um it's really old christopher walken in it and maybe uh maybe christopher lambert's chasing him or something uh i think that i think christopher walken is the warlock maybe and he's like uh they're trying to like put nails through his feet so he can't fly this movie is from 1989 and uh who's the female lead because i think she's famous but she's a singer that's not julian sands is the warlock oh then i don't know what this is talking about this is a shitty movie it's funny maybe it's the prophecy that so there was a theater in outside ocean city in summer's point and uh like they started having these dollar 50 movies where you'd go in and it's like a dollar 50 then they'd play shitty movies but for a dollar 50

a crappy movie is often like you know that wasn't so bad it was so cheap to get in and uh i went into warlock and like even at a dollar 50 i couldn't sit through it. I was done. What's the premise of that? Is there a synopsis there? I just remember that it was bad. I mean, 1989. God, I can't remember 2012. Is that the one in the apartment building where there's like a troll? A warlock flees from the 17th to the 20th century with a witch hunter in hot pursuit.

Are you sure that Christopher... No. I've seen this movie. I'm always positive. Really? From 1989? Yeah. I think there's a part with like thumb screws so that the thing can't get away. But it might be... It seems

like he's got like these cuffs on his thumbs that like chain his big toes, too. That's how they were keeping him tied up so he couldn't fly or something. I'm just not sure. It's been a long time. I've seen that movie. I like bad movies.

Sometimes. I like bad movies sometimes. You have to go into it with the right idea, though. You can't be expecting something good and then get something shit that's aggravating. But if you're on a hunt on Netflix to look for the two-star or the one-and-a-half-star or the coveted one-star rating, then it can be fun. Yeah, Skyfall has one star.

What is Skyfall? Is that a James Bond film? Oh, no, it's not. It's just freaking aliens come from the sky or something. I remember Wings did a video. Oh, wait. Wings did a video. Complaining about it. oh no it's not it's freaking aliens come from the sky or something i remember oh yeah oh wait complaining about it he complained about how unrealistic that was his core thing he was saying that this movie where aliens drop into the america the world uh was it not realistic enough for him it was just awful i i mean i turned it off about halfway through because there was...

I didn't get the plot, and it was just bad. Like, the characters were bad, the story... It was just terrible. And then I remember watching Wing's video on it, and he was just complaining about how awful the film was. I was like, okay, at least I'm not alone. Wing's video made me watch it, and I didn't like it, but I liked it more than him.

It was... That was probably the worst film i've ever watched in my life it was they were um they were like in an apartment building near the water right yeah yep yep yeah same movie i uh i thought it was just okay um i take i got up and left during captain america the first one. It was especially bad because I drove and there were like three people with me. It was like 50 minutes in. I'm like, I can't handle this anymore. This is so dumb.

On every level, it's horrible. This is a shit superhero with borderline impressive abilities. If you put him in the ring with John Cena, that would be an actual Vegas odds. No, it wouldn't. No, it wouldn't. Yes, it would.

He's a piece of shit. Captain America can, like, pick up cars and throw them. Oh, is he just going to leadership him to death? I hate that superhero. No, Captain America. He's very strong. He would destroy John Cena in an arm wrestling contest. Yeah.

In anything. He's just halfway to Incredible Hulk. I'm stretching it a bit, but he's really strong. He's just halfway to Incredible Hulk. I'm stretching it a bit, but he's really strong. He's a combat, he's a hand-to-hand combat expert. He's very strong. He can do all kinds of acrobatics. He's very strong. I think he can lift like 1,200 pounds.

He would grab John Cena by the wrist and hit him like bam bam, you know, from the Flintstones. I don't want to look up these guys stats I hate these arguments with like this guy could lift 1,200 pounds that's like me being like oh I can imagine a bigger goblin than you Captain American can bench press 5,000 pounds according to this that's a lie. That's propaganda.

It's not true because he can pick up cars and like he had a car by one hand and with one hand he was able to like stop it from falling down because there's people in it and put it back to where it goes. It must have been a Ford Pentax. Silverado. The original Captain America can bench press

800 pounds. The movie Captain America that we're all familiar with now, this says, could be around a ton. So they think he'd bench press. Oh, excuse me. There's some other kind of ton. So 2,800 pounds max bench press. That's what they're giving to Chris Evans' Captain America here. That's very strong.

No. Made up. Well, not made up. Hang on here. That's very strong. No. Made up. For comparison to strong... Not made up. For comparison, the strongest real life person, world record lift is around 500 pounds plus.

Average man can only lift around 120 pounds over his head. Batman would be able to do about 500 pounds. Batman can bench fire... What is it? Standing drill press? Whatever. 500 pounds he's probably got some kind of exoskeleton help or something with his suit maybe see 500 pounds no he's not a normal guy and he's not even an athletic guy that's a superhero

500 pounds over your head what can the strongest normal person do around 500 pounds and that's what Batman can do yes Batman is the Batman is supposed to be the pinnacle of uh of like human condition because i feel like we went from batman's just spent the last 10 years getting in shape that's what he's been doing literally like that's the that's the the mythos of batman like i've got that book called becoming batman or being we switch from bench press to like standing i did but that's because the website did. But okay, but we are comparing apples to apples. 500 pounds is

what the strongest man can do this with and that's what Batman can do. Alright. It says Spider-Man by comparison is around 6,000 pounds and the Hulk is over 100,000 pounds. See, Spider-Man and the Hulk are cool heroes because they don't

need swords or shields like a Teutonic Knight but he's got like a fucking bet his shield is incredible though it's like vibranium and and adamantium or something it's it's super unbreakable had to make that shit in Wakanda. I just don't understand why when they have these incredible materials that could make a shield like that, that has all these properties, why not make other shit out of it? Why not make bullets to put in a gun that's made out of that? Why not make the shit a little bigger?

Why not put spikes on the shield? Why not make a sword out of it? Why run around with a defensive tool that you throw like a fruitcake at people? Because he's the defender of freedom captain america he needs a defender of free I I just don't like that movie hey Kevin first part of the movie do you remember when he was walking around he was that skinny little looking guy with the big head on it didn't look I hated it

that's I guess that just set me off in the wrong direction for the whole movie. I'm like, oh, this is what I'm here for. This is what I paid $11 to see. That movie was significantly better than the sequel. I would never see it. The Winter Soldier? That movie sucked. All the parts that I was awake for. I bet if you look at Rotten Tomatoes,

the Winter Soldier is really high up there. There's no way. Let's see. I bet it's 80% or better on there. On Rotten Tomatoes, Babadook is 98, just to go back to that for one sec. And that's very rare for horror, so I'm going to watch that. Alright, I've got both up.

Winter Soldier, 89. Audience score, 92. Ooh, First Avenger, 79, 74. Kyle is right. The world disagrees with me. Very good. No, First Avenger, 79-74. Kyle is right. The world disagrees with me. Very good. No, not the First Avengers, the first Captain America. That's what it's called, Captain America, the First Avenger.

Oh. Yeah. Yeah. I liked it a lot. I thought it was pretty good. I think Chris Evans does a good job. It's a good thing he didn't get stuck in the Fantastic Four, which is where he originally started

in the Marvel Universe. Of course Mike hates Captain America. A little too much freedom for you. Too much justice. Does he use guns? I'm more of a Thor and Wolverine. Thor?

Thor sucks. Thor? Thor sucks. Thor's awful. What is this coming from? Thor's amazing. Thor's a god. No, no. Loki is the best. I find Thor's powers to be somewhat inconsistent. I can't name

specifics and some comic book guy out there is going to tear me to shreds for saying this. Mjolnir there that that hammer that they forged in the heart of a fucking star or some shit like that thing lets him fly you know he's a god he's pretty much super everything you know he shoots lightning bolts he how strong is he exactly I can't? I can't figure it out. Sometimes he's mega strong. Sometimes he's not.

He can't fly. He can just sort of throw the thing and get sucked along with it. It's like flying, but it's like saying Incredible Hawk flies. No, he's just a very good jumper. The problem is the big difference is he can't change his direction midair. He's just a very good jumper the problem is that the big difference is he can't change his direction bit air They're incredible hawk like wants to jump from like across the Atlantic Ocean and it changes his mind. He's like well Fuck I was waiting Or can't even fly so if he throws his hammer at the wrong direction. He just barely misses his planet

Oh fuck like This planet he can summon the hammer to him. I think Thor's amazing. Thor's got some really cool powers. He's just as strong as the Hulk, I think. No. Yeah, totally. It doesn't seem to be because he's like an even fight with Iron Man sometimes. And then Captain America comes along who just starts leadershiping him or something.

No, that wasn't an even. They've never tried to kill each other. You getting medium thor uh when they're facing off and stuff i i think they've shown the lights bolts and stuff at the end of the first avengers the incredible hulk is just like ripping out the big guys and smashing and doing whatever and thor is what like taking on a couple little people no thor beat up thor and the Thor and the Hulk are fighting inside the helicarrier or whatever. The hover... Whatever it's called. They had that big fight.

And Thor's the only one who can keep him at bay while he's trying to kill Black Widow and all those other characters. I think they're all very good heroes. Captain America is obviously one of the worst. It's really all about Hawkeye, obviously. Hawkeye is... He's very good at bow and arrow if people didn't like jeremy renner so much i don't think he'd be around so much anymore uh despite the fact that he is a big part of the comics and the cartoons hawkeye is always right

there with him with his bow and arrow and everything i feel like he got ripped off in the writing a bit like he's a bit of a shit character but the trouble is he was a bad guy for the first two-thirds of avengers or more and like he didn't get to act he didn't get to like him or know him or anything like that and it just really set him off like the first well he was in thor the first thor i didn't see i don't even remember him from the first door and i've seen it twice well it was the part where thor's trying to get his hammer back and the government's put that research facility around the hammer and nobody can lift it

and he breaks into that facility to get his hammer and they're like Hawkeye get on the job and he's running around with his bow and arrow and shit they need to cool their jets with these superhero movies or before long they're gonna have just a Black Widow movie or just a Hawkeye movie

where he's shooting apples off of people's heads and stopping small-time 7-Eleven robberies because that's all that he can do by himself. I've got it. We can do a movie where Hawkeye steals from the rich and gives it to the poor. Yeah. Blows them up. King Richard.

That's a DC character. That's like the Green Arrow. The Green Arrow kind of looks like Robin Hood. But I'm looking forward to all the comic book movies that are coming out. Westerns. Westerns. I'm sorry to cut you off, Kyle. You're getting your Western. Tarantino's making Hateful Eight. One Western, not enough. And that Western is, I hope that Western is so successful that it kicks off a wave of Westerns.

I hope that by the time Kyle and Taylor are having their children, their little kids, they'll ask for lassos for Christmas and leather vests and cowboy boots. That's not happening at all. I would like westerns to get more popular again. Westerns would be awesome. And I'm going to

go out and I'm going to be on Gun Broker looking for my 1829 pistol cowboy action. It's going to be great. Yeah, companies like Ruger, Smith & Wesson, those companies should be trying to lobby for more Western movies with their labels prominently shown by

the protagonists because that would boost sales a lot. I mean, if people seeing Kyle shoot guns boost sales, imagine seeing whoever the hell they would get to do a Western shooting one. They do it all the time. Christoph Waltz or someone like that. Kyle, this is a dumb question to some, but did Ruger have a good spot in the wild west? I always think of Smith & Wesson and Colt.

Oh, I'm just thinking of modern revolver companies. I know, but I was curious. I don't know when Ruger was founded, but I have never heard of like, I don't know if they were around back then. All I really know about the Ruger never heard of like uh I don't know if they were around back then all I really know about the Ruger company is a lot of people don't feel like they

sold out the uh the class three industry at some point along the way um so a lot of people don't like them for that but then a lot of people like them because they're a really utilitarian gun and one of the founders of the company his whole thing was he wanted a gun that uh you could afford on like a working man's salary that was still a good gun so i have a ruger and it shoots every time i pull the trigger and small and light i like it i got a bunch of them they're very nice i can't hang with you i think no do you have any guns mike oh yeah well i'm in england we don't have guns well i don't know if you're allowed to have, like, one, maybe. No. You can have silenced shotguns. We don't have any guns. I mean,

I guess some people, when they go clay pigeon shooting, have guns, but literally, I know nobody who has any weapon. The royal family have guns. That's what I, that's one thing that's always struck me as a little weird. That, like, you, Mike, like, like, if you wanted to get a shotgun and go

shoot sporting clays, I bet it would be a lot of bullshit for you to go through you You might not even be able to get it done, but the royal family I've been in for I'm a over there though. Yeah Okay, well maybe I'm on farm farm in place, so we're like shotgun and snipers and stuff like that I'm gonna make your oils like Maggie brown pants that you tuck into socks Traipsing about the the wilderlands i feel like the royal family owned those guns though whereas like you would have a hard time getting ownership so that you could like have your gun in the back of your your nissan if you wanted i i don't think you're allowed to do that i'm not 100% sure what the gun laws are but we have to go to like a special um a special shooting range

um but we didn't actually like have any training they just pretty much gave us a shotgun and fired the clay pigeons i assume you got in your little you tucked your pants into your boot you got on your horse and your beagle chased down the fox is that i mean we killed a rabbit and ate the rabbit but that's about all we did. Rabbits good eating. They are good. They are. They really are. I like rabbits. There's going to be deer. Already there are deer.

They don't like my property. Well, I don't see them in my property. I see their poop sometimes. But across the street, there's deer all the time. And I'm like, man, there's going to be a lot of deer opportunity for me come this fall. Wait, you have deer walking around outside your house? All the time. Yeah. We'll just be fucking around in the golf cart

or something and it's like, oh, there's like nine deer over there just doing deer stuff. You've never shot a deer, have you? Me? I was talking to Woody. No, just the squirrel story. You should shoot a deer. Why not? Yeah. You should take its life. They're a menace. Cut its heart out. You take a bite. We're still in the squirrel story. You should shoot a deer. Why not? Yeah. You should take its life. They're a menace.

Cut its heart out. You take a bite. We're still in the early stages where we love them. We're like, look at the deer. Look at the deer. Aren't they great? Yeah. They're quite large, and they're real animals.

There's some wildlife going on. I've always wanted to shoot one with my.50 cal, and I was going to do it last year. I've always wanted to shoot one with my.50 cal and I was going to do it last year. I've even got a special bullet. I got a Ralphos round, which is like explosive. Of course. I really want to do it just to see what will happen, but I

just didn't go last year. I was too lazy. You're going to ruin all the venison that you could have. Shoot him in the head. Well, I don't know. I don't know the damage radius of those things. I just imagine just a big red mist of venison. It's not a mini-nuke.

I imagine if you shoot a deer in the head with an explosive 50 cal, that it hardly has any head left. That there's a little bit of head hanging by some skin. And you get that taxidermied and you have some... Just like it is. Like flesh hanging everywhere.

It was a 30-point buck. Believe me. See that? Vaporized him. Yeah, I'm going to do that just to see what will happen. And then another thing I want to do, I want to go pig hunting this year. Like this year like i'm gonna do that i'm going out to texas gonna get in a helicopter are you bringing me or uh i got my license for that my license to kill and be killed i i will not be killed hopefully but it says it right on there oh that's right you had to be to

kill or be killed that's what it says on his hunting license that's pretty funny but yeah i really want to go shoot those pigs and i really want to blow some pigs up like use some explosives and blow some pigs up you're allowed to do that there um they're a real menace 400 million dollars worth of uh agricultural damage last year alone by wild pigs uh feral pigs in the u.s uh non-indigenous species that they are eradicating in crazy ways. Whatever you want to do. If you're some sick fuck out there and you're like, I always wanted to kill something with a flamethrower, I know guys who have done it.

People are coming up with some fun ways to kill pigs in Texas. Isn't that kind of dangerous? They'll gore you to death if it's a wild pig and there's a group of them, right? You can just get close enough to a flamethrower. I once fought one with a knife. You didn't hear this story? You did not. I did.

I killed it. I don't believe you. I saw the video. We were driving around. It was night video. They had night vision video. It was about 250 pound Russian boar. We were driving around these neighborhoods in Houston.

We had a permit from the sheriff's Department that said by any means necessary, in city limits, out of city limits. So we've got suppressed machine guns like M4s that are chambered in 300 blackout. Night vision, like infrared shit, infrared lasers that you can only see with the night vision.

I've got the Apache goggles. So it's like a helmet with the goggles that come down. And we're shooting out the windows driving around all of this is perfectly legal there and we had shot this really big boar but it was just wounded, they shot it in the butt or something just as a recap, you're driving around

shooting out of a car or truck with night vision goggles and silenced machine guns yeah, America, carry on America! big F--350 all the lights are specially uh like blacked out so they don't see us coming and shit and uh and so somebody i don't remember who fired the shot but they shot the thing in the butt and they just wounded a bit now i don't want you to think that it was like crippled because that wasn't the deal it was just

slowed down a little bit and i tell scott because we're making this video this this pig hunting video i'm like you should uh you should go out there with the knife and finish that fucking pig with a knife fight it cut its throat that's the big part that's the payoff at the end of the video like you know you're gonna have you you know shooting these pigs and then at the end hand a fucking tusk or whatever like you go in the coup de gras of the pig hunting. And there's like, who's got the biggest knife? And my friend pulls out a pocket knife. It's maybe this long. Handle and blade. It's not much of a

knife. Give it to Scott. We go out through there. I've got the camera and a night vision monocular attached to the camera. We get out there. He gets within eight feet of this thing and he's kind of doing this, poking at it, trying to get in close to do something and the pig is like facing off with him it's going like shaking its head like doing this and every now and then it'll run at him

like shaking its head like trying to cut him with the tusks and he's just like fuck this fuck this man i'm not doing this so i look and all of our compatriots are by the truck watching this shit go down with their night vision like eight guys and i'm like we can't go back empty-handed i was like give me that fucking knife so i get the knife and i get closer and closer to the pig and finally i kind of run dart in and i stab it in the neck like kind of like in the back of the neck by the spine i stab it it real hard. The blade goes all the way in, and he reaches in and bites my inner thigh. And I'm going to... Like, my inner thigh.

Like, he bit me like... I hope the next phase of this storytelling is his pants coming off. Like, right there. No. He bit me. There's a picture on my Twitter, if you can go back far enough,

and you can see where it bit me, though. He bites me right there. It does bleed a little bit, and I can see where it bit me though. He bites me right there. It does bleed a little bit and I scream because he's bitten me and I don't know if my leg's hanging off now or not. And I kind of like stumbled over him and ended up standing behind him with him in a headlock and I just started stabbing. And I was just going... And every time I stabbed the knife's going like to the hilt it's just like thud thud thud thud thud thud and i'm just stabbing his neck and just like slashing it like trying to cut the jugular and finally i cut all the way to the bone like three quarters of

the way around and the blood's just and the blood's all over me because i got like my legs wrapped around his neck and my arm wrapped around his neck and my arm wrapped around his neck and he's fighting as i kill him and uh so i'm soaked in blood i cut his ears off put him on my necklace and uh so we were going to keep the ears from the next day when we wrapped up the video so i had him in this walmart bag stained in blood we were staying at a legit like five-star hotel like there was a grand piano in the lobby like gold elevators and shit and i walked straight through that lobby drenched in blood with a bag of pig ears nobody said shit catching my minibar so you were you actually like screaming and crying a bit as

you were stabbing no i didn't say a word i was going like like i wasn't i wasn't being silly about it at all i was fighting for my life i felt like too that was really fun though and then the other thing on the way like i was already drenched in blood on the way back we saw a baby deer that had been hit by a car and it was it was suffering and uh and they were like somebody put it out of its misery you know but we're in a neighborhood and it's like well we can't shoot right here like this is the street and i'm just like well we got silencers they're like no we really can't shoot right here. This is the street. I'm just like, well, we got silencers. They're like, no, we really can't shoot here.

That's a house. That's a house. They're like, well, somebody kill it with a knife. I'm just like. I get out, get the baby deer. Its head is right here. He's just like, oh, sorry, little guy. I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry about all this. Then he just starts kicking. His little leg is kicking like this over and over, oh, sorry, little guy. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry about all this. And then he just starts kicking. And his little leg is kicking like this over and over, just hitting me in the ribs. And I'm just, again, just cut his throat. So like the second animal throat cutting of the night. So yeah, by the time I got to the hotel, I really was drenched like Michael Myers or something like that. That was an interesting night. I killed a, I might have told this story before, but I mercy killed a rabbit

once, and it wasn't even an awful jackrabbit like you see in the wild, those big disgusting ones. It was a sweet little bunny that you see in a neighborhood. I was driving my carpool home from school in high school, and I drove and I saw it, and I tried to swerve, and it just jumped the same way that i swerved and i crushed the entire back part of it and like i saw in the rear view mirror and the girl that i was driving home oh oh did you hit it and we look in the rear view mirror and it's using its two little front paws trying to claw its way off the road the entire backside is just

destroyed like smashed and i'm like okay we can't leave this thing here to slowly bleed out start getting eaten alive by some carrion or some bird i think carrion's what you say to about the animal but uh so i didn't have anything to kill it with didn't have any knives or guns as you shouldn't when you're driving home from school and so i had my younger brother get out and guide me as i backed up over the head of the rabbit. And he was like pointing like this and that. And the girl was like, is it over? Did we get it? And I'm like, I don't know.

He hasn't waved me through. And then you just heard like a dull, like just a crack. And it was over. It was out of its misery. You can't leave animals like that. So I was pulling out of my parents' driveway. I was about 22 years old, 23 years old, something like that. Pull out, make a right, and Todd, the beagle, who was our pet beagle,

ran under my front tire. My front tire goes up and over Todd. Ba-blump, ba-blump. Get him with the back tire, too. I stop immediately. They're just maybe 15 yards from the driveway entrance there on the road. I pull over. I stop immediately. They're just maybe 15 yards from the driveway entrance there on the road. I pull over. I get out. Todd's fucked.

Todd's guts are hanging out. I take my pistol. Pop, pop, pop. Shoot him three times in the head. Are you on your way home from school in this situation too? No. No. I was wondering why you only had a pistol, but carry on.

Pop, pop, pop. Shoot him three times in the head. I look up and you only had a pistol, but carry on. Pop, pop, pop. Shoot him three times in the head, and I look up, and there's a lady in a sedan. She just watched me execute a dog. I couldn't leave Todd there, so I grabbed him by the collar, threw him in the back of my truck, and sped away. I can only imagine what she thought. I wasn't doing anything bad, but it looked like I was a

psychopath. Like, it looked like I gunned a dog down, point blank, and stole the body, and then got the fuck up out of there, but never heard anything of that, but that's just a standard thing. Is this a standard thing where you, like, just walk around with weapons and pistols and

shit? If I think that I'm going into a dangerous area, yeah, I have a gun gun within five ten yards of me right now a couple guns yeah I've got a gun in there one of the guys right there I would have one mostly if you see me I'm probably strapped every really two shotguns in the corner my is so different in comparison that is crazy yeah like so when I went to Florida right what I like when I went to Florida like there was people walking around with pistols and that was pretty freaking scary coming from coming from Nottingham it's uh concealed carry permit holders like like I am and I know Kyle is I don't

know if Taylor is um or the crime rate amongst us is lower than police we uh sorry the the stats on people who have concealed carry permits okay they commit fewer crimes than the police do yeah we we fuck up fewer times than cops do. The people who carry guns, like citizens. There seems to be so much stuff for the news of like American guns and shooting and all that kind of stuff. You know, the homicide rates are actually way down in America.

Like over the last 20 years, they just get better every single year. They act like it's getting worse, but it's not. Even the mass homicides, the things that get attention, like that Charleston thing, that's far less common than it was before. The thing is about America is nobody rips apart America like Americans do. You'd come here and you'd think we have these huge race issues,

but we don't. Well, I mean, they exist to some extent, but every country has some, you know, form of racism that they have to like overcome and deal with. And but no one like America, no one seems to say like, we've got a catastrophe. This place is ruined. There's gun toting racists everywhere. But that's not really the case. We just we just talk about our bad spots far more than like the French, for example. These firearms are being brought to you of course by dollar shave club they help me fund all my ammo purchases and if you listen to

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pretend to your friends that you shave if you're six years old you can pull like the home alone scene shouldn't purchase razors if you're six yeah they have a lot of options they've got the what six blade executive that they that send to us that we use. That'll make it so you look clean-shaven literally the whole day. Like, you barely even get five o'clock shadow most of the time. And the two-blade one is what you want to use for your genitals. That's the ideal one for that. Yeah, I like them all.

I haven't locked it on my personal decision to Blade versus Quinta Blade or whatever the top one is. They are really well built. They do good stuff. I'm trying to think. Do we need a whole new topic? I beat Filthy Robot. Got to get that in there.

Yeah. We talked about this in PKN. I have a feeling this is going to be a subject on every show i feel like everyone should know like not just the the the patreon members over on pkn they know but like everyone should know that that we played a free we played a free-for-all it was myself chiz uh filthy a few other random players and uh filthy was drinking heavily and uh in the end, I came away with a victory. He was too engaged with the other players to really ever get to me,

and when he could get to me, my army was actually bigger, so he never did invade me, never fucked me really, and no one did, and I got a diplomatic victory in the end. Does it really count, though, as you beating him unless it's one-on-one? Like if other people, like if you were just having your minions swarm him for a while to keep him not successful, and then eventually you just overpowered him? Because that's not like a 1v1 victory. That's what they play, though.

It was a 4v1 plus one, right? So Filthy played against the other four, while Kyle, like, SimCity'd and maybe sent some supplies to those other four, like weapons and ammo or whatever, units. And then at the end, Kyle was big and strong because they were all fighting. Yep. Mike, do you play Civ V? Play what? Sorry? See, exactly.

Nobody gives a shit. Yeah, Civilization V, it's a turn-based strategy game. You lead your civilization from the dawn of time to the space age. They don't really do too many 1v1s. The 6v6 is like the standard. The 6-player free-for-all is the standard thing they do. We're playing a special mod, too.

We're not playing the regular game anymore. It's a mod that their group came up with and makes the game a lot of fun. I thought it meant to be in some real- life paintball or something like that, man. No, oh this is much more satisfying. Oh, oh, this is infinitely more... this took 10 hours. This is a 10 hour game. This wasn't like we went out and played a quick game of COD and I beat him. 10 hours of grinding and wanting and like trying to to you know win this thing and and uh that's what it is it's a 10 hour fucking game filthy was so salty

salty oh my god he was drunk right he was drunk which just increased the amount of salt per turn he was able to create yes it's civilization he was just he was bad-mouthing everybody but what he does is like he's in the tea streak with everyone but it's push to talk so he'll be like these fucking you know scrubs they're all ganging up on me they don't know what they're doing then he goes in the chat and he's one-tenth is salty you know they don't know what he's saying my favorite part is the moment he snapped he he's just like, all right, this is it. Everyone who borders me, you're dead. Chiz, you're dead.

Ethiopia, you're dead. Kyle doesn't bother me. He's okay. And I was just like, yes, yes. Little does he know you're giving Civ like cavalry and knights or whatever. Yeah, absolutely. We played for so long, dude. That game was scheduled. It wasn't a like spur of the moment thing we played we started at 10 a.m my time and uh like

i said we didn't get done till late in the evening and and if even though it was a diplomatic victory i was so satisfied with walking away uh with the win there because it was just so much time invested i i bet filthy i understand why he gets so salty because he really should be winning all those way with the win there because it was just so much time invested. I understand why he gets so salty because he really should be winning all those games. If it were a game of who's better at macro or micro, he wins in both regards.

But he just had people fucking with him the whole time, tripping him up, and he couldn't contend with everybody. Yeah. Well, no more Civ. No more Civ. Oh, I can tell you guys are enthralled. You're just like, you're loving it.

Every now and then we try to get Woody to come play Civ, and he'll usually just hang up a Skype call. We'll be like, hey, we got the free time. You want to come play some? He's gone. He's just like, no, no fun. If you go back and listen to the episodes where you guys first started playing it, you can see incrementally

every single episode how Woody was like, yeah, it's a fun game. It's really strategic. It's like you're building every aspect of the civilization to like, yeah, but it takes like eight hours to, yeah, and then it's like, oh, but it's like, oh my god, do I have this much time? And then all the way to like, fuck this game. This is so stupid. I don't, I

can't take off April 3rd for for this game i have to do shit that's how it is that's how it is that's how it is yeah these guys they just like for all the time they just and i think chiz is coming over to my side too like that game that live stream he did not enjoy himself at all it was just terrible and then after he lost he lost almost purposely like he could have hung all. It was just terrible. And then after he lost, he lost almost purposely. Like he could have hung on, but he was just like, yes. Kyle, did you attack Chiz? Yeah, I took his capital. He requested to be put out of his misery.

That's how much fun this game is. And then like Russia dropped out. Russia is one of the civilizations in that game. Russia was drinking along with Filthy, and they got so drunk that they never made it back to the game when they went to take a piss. That's what happened to Russia. So they had Chiz take over Russia,

and he's just like, I should have never agreed to that. Now he's suffering all over again in another situation in which he's going to lose. And it was just... He and Filthy had kind of an argument where Chiz defended his position. Chiz was on the edge of the world, and he needed to expand, and he didn't have any choices. He couldn't put down any more cities of his own, so he attacked a city-state that happened to be friendly with Filthy.

And Filthy took that as an act of aggression. He's like, why are you fucking with me? You can't possibly win. He's like, I need to expand. It sucks in active aggression. I feel like Chiz has misled everyone with that and i'm not i i he i believe that maybe he didn't have a lot of city spots i believe that he didn't felt i know that he felt like he didn't expand enough i also felt that way but we both know that like

he and i both know that like taking a city state is never the best option for like uh you know um forming a new city that's not the way to do it and uh and second of all like that was not only filthy's ally it was bordering filthy city so like no other ways to expand he could go on the giant like island that i went to it had two luxuries and a great wonder on it and it was like eight tiles to the right of him and then like six tiles to the right of him and then like six tiles to the right of him there was another spot with a luxury horses fish and like sheep or something like he had spots i promise oh his argument was i had no way to expand so i had to attack a place he also won his argument that's all i'll say like like it there there's two two sides to that coin

that when when filthy we get angry and start yelling like everybody's teaming me like i i wanted to be like look everybody's teaming you because you're the best player in here but you guys were teaming him you really should take a look because like this other player is now the one to beat and it's not filthy anymore there's no need to keep picking on filthy we should really all focus our attention on ethiopia who's gonna and you're right about that but the other thing that no one talked about is the second you focus on ethiopia filthy will be the one to worry about again ethiopia was very i mean he nuked him with miss he was

nuclear missiles from ethiopia there at the end right right before i won so he had he had warped ahead big time did like did no one notice you getting this diplomatic victory um filthy noticed it uh but he but and i guess he could have stopped it but but he would only be stopping it so that ethiopia could ethiopia could win he just preferred so filthy picked you to win in a way or you could say that i picked i I mean, if I wanted, I could have attacked Filthy and killed him and picked Ethiopia to win. It could have gone either way. He could have...

That's the thing. You could invest your resources to do whatever you want, but the goal should always be to win. And I think there at the end he saw that there was no way he could win, and he definitely preferred to keep fighting the guy who'd been fucking with him the whole game, then stop and come mess with me, who was stronger than him at the time anyway. I who'd been fucking with him the whole game. Then stop and come mess with me. Who was stronger than him at the time anyway?

I was stronger than Filthy in the late game. I had more tech. More hammers. More everything really. Especially in his weakened state. It was a good game. I enjoyed it. Civ's boring to talk about though.

Even more boring to watch. But it's infinitely fun to play. So if any of you guys are into strategy games. It's also a good way to play with us. I don't think it's infinitely fun to play. So if any of you guys are into strategy games, it's also a good way to play with us. I don't think it's bad to watch. Filthy's moderators are awesome. I feel like Filthy's fun to watch because Filthy really is the best there is at that game.

He's also quite good at streaming. He'll tell you what he's thinking and what's going on and what's happening there. Look at this. It's PKN, baby. I like it. Those fucking assholes. Oh my god. Can you believe Taylor came back after all the... i thought we got rid of him for good i have it would have been funny

if we were like no no means no and like booted him a couple times and he was just like really pleading his case the audience would just be like let him come i wonder how many people started buying it at the start of this show i i think that we sold like 80 of the people like i feel like if they've been following the the drama if they even care to you know like the people who are following and i feel like we sold them all and that's the goal is to prank them and and to make you think something and lie to you really to you know fuck with you it's fun for us yeah for us for us there's a weird relationship thing going on i was thinking about it again today.

Some people will be like, oh, fuck you, Woody, or this or that. And it's not funny to me at all because you're a stranger. You haven't made the emotional deposits in the bank account. But to them, we're tight. They know all about me. They know the rule in my household where if I get caught masturbating, Jackie has to suck me off. That's a thing that Painkiller already fans know. But I don't know them at all.

If we were in the elevator together, I wouldn't know you. It's just a real one-sided thing. I forget where I was going with that. Anyway, I like to fuck with fans. Yeah, I do too. I really enjoy it. I really had a point there. I lost it.

You'll get it back later. I'm looking forward to Paintball too. Going to get to play with fans. Yeah, I do too. I really enjoy it. I really had a point there. I lost it. You'll get it back later. I'm looking forward to paintball too. Going to get to play with the fans there. It was awesome the first time. I had a good time the first time. I had a good time in general. The trip was good. Not just the paintball. I felt like hanging out with you and Joe was good and I felt like we ate a lot of good food. Got to see Joe's dog. All that cool shit

we did. I'm looking forward to doing that again this time around. We'll watch the UFC fight. There's a big fight Saturday night. Conor McGregor, I guess, is the big thing to see. And, you know, I'm going to play our paintball game on Saturday with just our group. Here's what I want to do. I want to pick

my guys, like you pick your guys, Chiz picks his guys, and, you know, whoever else is with us in our little group. They pick a little team of eight guys, six guys, whatever whatever makes the numbers fit and we have like a little mini tournament somewhere on nooptown or something i'd love that um and then sunday of course the huge scenario game with over a thousand players i don't know how many pre-registrations there are but it's going to be a lot of people on the field at one time gigantic battle um kitty said that one of her friends i don't know how much of this i should

say i think he owns a loop company or something like that who might potentially sponsor us in the future what kind of company a loop lubricant sexual lubricant and uh yeah and um dude you know what i want as a sponsor i'm sorry i'm interrupting your story uh the lube guy uh he wants to sponsor the show oh he's bringing 70 guys with him 70 players for our team yeah wow all right we better make sure it's a company that we haven't talked shit on before never we've never mentioned them before yeah i real doll are you familiar with real doll real doll yeah they're great yeah dude we should have a real doll in our backdrop all the time we should name them they should have a thing. What does that mean?

You're not familiar with real doll? What the fuck? Are those the really creepy pseudo people that you can talk to? But they're not creepy. They're fantastic. And they're friendly. Has anyone seen the movie with... Who's the guy from

Drive? Oh, God. That handsome guy. He's like the best-looking man in the world He was in the notebook to best-looking man stevie shemmy right yeah that guy Like you just punched him two or three times, and they just went like that and just put him back to it Um no, it's anyway that guy Ryan guy. Ryan Gosling. Ryan Gosling. Where was I going with Ryan Gosling though? Dude, I'm here on the Real Doll site. Oh my god.

He did a movie called James and the Real Girl where he like had a real doll with him and he was treating it like a person and made everybody refer to it by a name and took it everywhere. It was a ridiculous movie. But yeah, sex dolls that look hyper, hyper realistic. They feel real. Mom, don't go to realdoll.com. Go. Check it out. I told you not to go. I just clicked the website. I have to

see now. I just don't see how these can look. I'm not up to date on the newest technologies. Oh, it's incredible. How do they look that real? Let's see. Well, you'll see. And they're anatomically correct as well. You can design every facet of your real girl. Get the perfect pussy.

Every time. Dude, I need a real doll with a happy trail behind it. That looks like a video game. Like a really advanced sim. Yeah. Yeah, that's under... I'll be right back. I'm going to make some coffee. For $5,000? This one, I'm looking at one that's under back. I'm gonna make some coffee For five thousand dollars this one is I'm looking at one that 6750

6749 dollars this is the wicked real doll you can have sex in Germany for like 50 euros that's Well yeah, all right, so let me just do a little math here 6750 divided by 50 135 sexual encounters and you're broken even I Think what is and those are real people though those are like? Something real women yeah, oh That's something about the way. They look is just so cartoony and unnerving It's like something you would see posed in weird positions in a serial killer's cellar. Like they're hanging from hooks.

Would you do it though? If it was provided to me, yeah, I'd give it a shot. Yeah. But not for $5,000. Not when you can get an autoblow for

$160 something. You're not familiar with the auto blow? That was one of our sponsors. It's kind of like a fleshlight, but it's motorized. So it's a motorized blow job is how they sell it. It even has, you know, a fleshlight typically has like a little vagina styled opening. This has a mouth-styled opening. That's pretty cool. You put your junk

in it, and it's loud, though. We had a fun time pimping it. We really did a good job for him, but Kyle was saying, it goes wow, wow, wow, wow, and he's like, I like it. I like to assert my masturbatory dominance. Everyone needs to know.

If you hear the wow, wow, wow, don't come through that door unless you're ready to participate. It's, I like the thought. What's that called? I wanna check it out. It's called the auto blow. Yeah, but if Real Doll sponsored us,

we'd do some great stuff with this. Kyle can shoot one. 500 hours of action? Wow, this one has clitoral piercings. Now we're just getting silly. Here you go. They have probably custom tattoos you can put on them. Look at this, gentlemen.

Oh, well, I guess I got it. Oh, come on. Oh, that's so... Oh, the dead little eyes looking at me. Saying, help, I've been trapped in this body. I'm a real woman.

I shouldn't be here. Oh, my goodness. See, this embodies like the, if you put your hands like that and only look at the opening it looks like it could be an Arby's ad like everything it's they have porn star dolls as well quite interesting here's ah here's another image for you same girl, but Have you ever seen that movie that terrible movie a house of wax no, but I scary movie It looks like they trapped people in those

Yeah, that's a normal occurrence here I Just you know I Tell I explained. I'm like this is a man's computer. You know you can't just hop on a man's computer This is this is all private right here. It's a man's computer. You don't just you just start typing Yeah, you just start putting in letters like a or C willy-nilly Yeah, I mean I got shit for b for p for x like it's a x or z and y yeah look up yodeling to your heart's desire the type of head on this thing don't don't mess it's a man's computer that's all

it's it's it's not for you this is a pretty good replica of the Asa Akehara check. Alright, now that everyone is back. Yeah, Kyle's not leaving. Okay, here's a topic. What is your unsubstantiated theory that you believe to be true, but have no evidence to back up? An unsubstantiated theory. Something that you think is true but you have no evidence to back up.

Are you talking like ghosts and stuff? Could be. My personal one is a 9-11 thing. Oh, okay. Like conspiracy theories. Does it have to be like a big theory? No, it doesn't. It can be like like this one

i think is actually true i think there's some evidence but uh planned obsolescence like light bulbs could last the old school filament ones could last for you know decades and they just built them to be cheaper and just you know to wear out i've never looked at the evidence for it but everybody's always talking shit on hot dogs. Now it's like, oh, let's just ground up, you know, rectums and eyeballs. I don't think that's true. I think that it's decent quality meat. It's just a regular hot dog.

As long as you're not buying, like, you know, Joe Schmoe's discount dogs, like, you're going to be fine. I think it's, like, just get the kosher own or some, like, it's fine meat. I think people just talk shit about it because they want to feel better than other people yeah i get the nathan's uh like all beef because i really don't want pork beef and chicken like that doesn't seem like a a mixture that that and i want i just don't mixing those three then you're not getting the best parts of any of them yeah and you might be getting some other parts is uh i tried turkey bacon

recently and someone had told me like oh it's you know leaner and it's just as good as the real thing horseshit like afterward i looked it up and all right actually i looked at the back of the package and it's just compressed turkey to look like the shape of bacon which i don't know what else i would have thought it was there's no like you know turkey stomach that you're cutting slivers of bacon off of but it was terrible every bite was depressing it doesn't cook right it gets burned before it gets done every bite is depressing every bite was like what have i done why did i do this like this is it's not that much healthier to make a difference it's still bacon there's still grease and stuff in there but you know the flight in pennsylvania on 9-11 the one that just where like supposedly they just suddenly dive bomb to the

ground whereas every other one went after like a legit civilian target or even military i guess if you call the pentagon well well they say that the the passengers took it down that's the story that's the other one isn't it or no that no, that was flight 91. That is the Pennsylvania one. I believe it was shot down. I can't do the math myself, but I think that from the time they rallied the jets in D.C., in the distance, that is, they were only like 20 minutes away or something. And an hour later, it got shot down. There were flight control operators. I forget the name of that position.

But the people who, like, make sure that all the flights land and don't smash into each other. Air traffic control. Air traffic control. They were saying that they saw them close together, like, within shooting range. Chaney said that he would have or did give the order for it to get shot down, but that it just happened to crash on its own before we had to do that. And I just believe it got shot down. Yeah, maybe so.

Typically, I'm told, with an airplane crash, like you crash the plane on the ground and all the stuff is kind of in like one spot. But this stuff was spread out amongst miles you know pamphlets as if it exploded in the air as if it exploded in the air and spread out as opposed to hitting the ground and having a singular like i remember there was a shit they crashed in florida and they changed the name from something to spirit airlines air tran i think it was called air tran back in the day and uh the plane crashed in the the swamp and all the plane was like right there at the crash site because that's like what a plane would

do you know the plane crash sites don't typically spread out for miles and i think that flight in pennsylvania was shot down and i don't like like everyone knows I'm not a huge Bush fan. I'm not sure it was the wrong call. By sacrificing those hundred, they may have saved 2,000. But I do think it was shot down and we were lied to. I've got a theory that nobody actually likes cauliflower. I think it's just a scam. People pretend.

It's made them seem more healthy. Like you can like broccoli scam people pretend more healthy like you can like broccoli you can like carrots you can like asparagus but cauliflower nobody ever asks for it it's never offered at restaurants because people will be disappointed but people will pretend to like it so they seem healthier no one actually likes it it's a big scheme by the cauliflower conglomerates and lobbyists Mikey got, you got one? I always believe 9-11 was an inside job, but that's probably

going to offer a lot of debate. Is it just conspiracy theories? Any theory with an unsubstantiated claim. I like aliens. There's no actual proof of aliens existing, but I think it would be really shitty if they

didn't. You know, we're on this universe alone. I find all that stuff pretty interesting, but obviously we don't have any proof. I think, like, we have found aliens, but even if we had, the government would keep it secret anyway, just because it would create, like, a panic kind of thing.

I've got a thing so I didn't have any sisters but I suspect that brothers are sexually attracted to sisters far more often than society admits I feel like that's an easy thing to say if you don't have a sister

yeah right I don't and so you could just like I've never had vanilla but I bet if you know't have a sister. Yeah, right? I don't. But it's like, I've never had vanilla, but I bet if you... No, it doesn't work. How can you live with a hot sister and not be like... Because it's like genetic. It's genetic. There's a repulsion built in.

Exactly. There's a repulsion. You need to diversify the genetic pool. So it's just an intrinsic... Well, once again again i don't know never been in the situation but that's what i'm led to believe and i think kyle's on the same page with me there somebody leave a comment and and let me like i'm curious this is the comment this video will be filled with but like like like your sister's there all the time right she's like

i don't know did i i want to say like you spot her in underwear and stuff but that actually never happens to my daughter so like maybe my sister's an okay looking girl but it doesn't mean i want to put my dick in her like a little no not all of them well you know you're 21 now right but let's say you're 16 or 17 and your your hormones are raging yet you're not getting it like you wish you would or at all i mean i walked in on my sister naked i wasn't like wow that's that's amazing i was like fuck tits like this is if my sister you know yeah i think that's the most common thing but that's a good one buddy that's a good i'm trying to think of more of these like i've met people who i really do think have add or adhd but like for the most part i really don't think

it's real like i don't think it's that real you understand what i'm saying or am i i think it's it's over diagnosed yeah it's just uh maybe that's it it's just so over diagnosed that anyone who wants it can get it and be diagnosed with it but it's just uh it's not even like a little over diagnosed it's like i think it's like 500 times over diagnosed like it should be a relatively rare thing i don't even uh i got 95 of them i don't think they have it i think that i think that lots and lots of the diseases and ailments that human beings suffer from have already been cured,

but the pharmaceutical companies would rather treat someone over time than cure them to make more money. I think that lots of, like diabetes, like, I don't know, asthma, name one, that we treat instead of cure. I think all of those things are curable and have been cured. And somebody was just like, are you fucking crazy? Right.

No, no, Johnson. You're supposed to make this an indefinite treatment. This is supposed to go into their 80s and they're on our program. You want to cure them on day one with this 30-cent pill? That's not going to work. I have a similar one, which is, I think that they'll look for treatments instead of cures because

treatments are more profitable. See, I think Woody's onto something with that, but I think Kyle, like yours, like if like every company couldn't be doing that, like all it would take is one company to come out with a permanent diabetes cure and they would just charge a ton for it

and make a ton of money and corner everybody else out of that market. People are going to continue to get diabetes. It's not like you can just cure it outright. People are going to keep drinking Coke and eating McDonald's. More and more people are going to keep getting it. I feel like a lot of medical discoveries are spontaneous though. In the same way

that the guy who came up with lsd like he had he had invented it like months before it wasn't until he accidentally ate some that he knew it was hallucinogenic uh like there's lots of things that are like if you if you i like the dupont corporation i saw a whole thing about them on the history channel and lots of the weird products that like 3m and dupont came up with were like these weird, like, oh, the bowl got too hot, shit, but look, in the bottom of the bowl, and they've created something they didn't even mean to create.

I feel like that could have happened, that maybe there's some accident. They're doing trial studies, research, testing drugs on people, and all of a sudden, oh, shit, that's what cures it. No, no, we're not looking for cures. I feel like that could happen yeah of course that's pretty good there's no proof of course and that fits this uh question nicely i

think yeah that was a good one better than cauliflower yeah i got another one i think that and i think this one's even provable but you know when um like you buy a printer or whatever and like it's a hundred dollars but there's a $15 refund. You just fill in your paperwork. I think they intentionally make that difficult. I imagine the companies who pitch it, who are like, you know what? I'm your refund handling company. You should pick me because less than 12% of the people that file for this actually get their money back.

We are so shitty at handling this stuff. We ask for real receipts. If you make a copy, fuck them. If they don't have the receipt and the box top, fuck them. If they don't have the receipt, the box top, and like a couple styrofoam peanuts to prove it, fuck them. Fewer people actually get their money back from our refunds than any of our competitors hire me. I feel like incompetence is part of the pitch there. And that's why when I buy stuff and they're like, hey, this is $75 rebate. If it's not an instant rebate, I don't add it to my buying decision. Yeah, I agree with you there. And it's the same thing

as when you see Kaboom or OxiClean or something on TV and they're like, oh, it's only $19.99. Send it back if you're not 100% satisfied. It's like, who is actually like, people are just going to they're not going to go to the store, the post office, pay for a box, pay for all this shit, take time out of their day to send something that's then just like, eh, I guess it works alright.

You know who else does that? Puppies. Like, so we bought a puppy not long ago. They all offer, like, money back guarantees. Like, if you keep this dog not long ago. They all offer, like, money-back guarantees. Like, if you keep this dog one year and you're not happy, money-back guarantee. You know, we'll trade you your money for your dog. And no one is like, oh, but cookies or donuts over here. No.

Like, donuts is too small, but, you know, like, it becomes a member of your family. No one gives the dog back that does put you in a pretty powerful position in that dog owner relationship though if you think about it if that you know if you know that if you send that dog back at certain death you're just like oh sorry rover you pissed the rug again one time too many going back to the gas farm like i i like that i like having that kind of of life and death control over my pet at any time. They offer money back guarantees, but no one gives their dog back.

They're like questioning it when you try to take it back. This looks nothing like the dog we gave you a year ago. I'd run a scam where I kept returning the dog and exchanging it for a new dog, and I'd always have a fresh dog. I don't even want that. I like dogs. Screw puppies. Dogs are way better. See, it's the opposite for cats. I would do that for a fresh dog. I don't even want that. I like dogs. Screw puppies.

Dogs are way better. See, it's the opposite for cats. I would do that for a cat service. You get a kitten, and then as soon as it becomes a cat, you just return it and get another kitten. Oh, no, that's nice. I like that.

I was supposed to, I think I was supposed, in an alternate universe, I'm a cat person, I feel like, because my grandmother bought me a kitten when I was four years old. They went and got this really pretty kitten somewhere apparently it was a it was like an actual breed like i i i know

that there are breeds of cat but like usually it's just like white cat or black cat around here but they got me a cat and uh it was on the front step on they were on the way to like bring it to me and my papa stepped on it like squarely on the steps and just squished it they were like it squished so flat kyle that that we had to scrape it up and i was like well why didn't you get me another kitten and they were like well we just didn't we were we were all so upset over that first kitten that like we just you know we didn't even want to talk about it anymore so you just never got the kitten and i was just like shit my life could have been entirely different i could have been a cat person it's good that you weren't you know i'm glad he crushed that kitten good you know how it like people don't talk about porn yet tons of

people like consume porn but it it's not an everyday topic? Not now so much, but if you were to go back 20 years, 15 years, no one admitted to watching it, yet it was a gigantic business that created the internet. Is there something like that that is the opposite? Like chewing gum? The opposite how? I'm not following 100%. I read this thing. It said the amount of advertising I witness for chewing gum seems totally unsupportable by the amount that the American public can possibly be spending on chewing gum.

That makes a lot of sense. Yeah, like I think about all the Wrigley commercials and all the – Double mint. Double mint. There's a lot of –. Yeah, like I think about all the Wrigley commercials and all the – Double mint. Double mint. There's a lot of – All the breath mints. Yeah, Mentos and stuff. How much chewing gum and breath mints are people consuming out there?

Does it really support the amount of advertising we see for that? That is a good point. With gum, it makes more sense. Mints I can see because when I get mints, like when I have them, it's always like, ah, just throw four in. I got a good point. With gum it makes more sense. Mints I can see because when I get mints, when I have them it's always like, just throw four in. I got a whole can. And then two days later it's like, oh, they're gone. It's not like razors where you have to run to the store again if you don't have Dollar Shave Club and immediately buy them. Have you thought of other businesses like that, Woody?

I was trying to brainstorm about it. I don't see enough commercials to know which commercials i just don't support it yeah well that's a lot of advertising out there that just i haven't had cable in so long i don't even know what's on commercials yeah oh um they're uh they just started filming the new season of daredevil and uh the punisher is gonna be uh a big influence in thevil and the Punisher is going to be a big influence in the next season. The Punisher is going to be on the Daredevil show and then he'll get a spin off. And the guy that plays him is, remember

Walking Dead? Remember the first season? The guy who was banging Laurie while Rick was comatose? Shane. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know who he is. Shane plays the Punisher and he'll get his own 13 episode Punisher show eventually.

I hope it's better than Daredevil. What was Daredevil about? Woody was talking to me about it earlier. Daredevil is a... Daredevil... Do you want to take this one? Or you want it? Maybe you sound better. I think your version is... Let me do mine and tell me if yours is different.

So he's, it's about a young boy who is, he gets acid thrown in his face at an early age. He gets turned, and he gains, he's blinded, but he gains superpowers because of whatever kind of sludge his acid was or whatever. Somehow he got some Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle acid on him. And all of his other senses are super duper heightened he could smell you if you're in the building with him um he can hear your heartbeat if you're down the road like he's and for all intents and purposes he can still see because he's sort of echo locating everywhere he's also super acrobatic like imagine the strongest guy as strong as a human could possibly be. He is that.

So he runs around as a blind superhero, and that's what the show's about. It's about during the day he's a lawyer pretending to be handicapped, and by night he's Daredevil, the criminal fighting superhero. In some ways his vision is better than ours in that he'll know you're in a room. He'll know if you're nervous. He'll know if you're sweating. he'll know if you're nervous he'll know if you're sweating he'll know if you're lying that that's the thing he's a human lie detector because he's like listening to your pulse and things like that in other ways like for example if i held a newspaper up to him he wouldn't know what was on the paper like you can't see yeah his biggest negative is that he has to use sonar so he has to constantly be clapping just walking around so is it something that you'd recommend because like i watch like game of thrones and then

me and my girlfriend just watch orange is the black thing that was good i like that yeah i kind of got a bit bored of it towards the end so Daredevil's got the highest ratings, I think, of any show ever on Netflix. Any of their shows that they've ever had on Netflix. The original series. Higher than House of Cards. Higher than House of Cards. I haven't watched that either.

I think the first episode might be a little slow. By the time you get to the third episode, you'll be hooked as long as you watch them kind of sequentially. And as long as you're not like an old fart who can't get with it, if you know what I mean. You're going to love it. long as you watch them kind of sequentially um and as long as you're not like an old fart who like can't get with it if you know what i mean uh you're gonna love it like 95 of the rest of the people in your demographic do yeah it's it's everyone seems to love it like kyle mentioned highest rated thing ever it just wasn't my cup of tea for some reason maybe maybe i'll give it a

shot see i thought when i originally watched Breaking Bad, I watched the first four episodes and I was like, this is terrible. I can't watch it. And then everybody on Twitter was like, oh my God, Breaking Bad's amazing. So I'm going to give it another shot. And I was like, okay, it's actually pretty good. And then pretty much watched that straight.

And now I just completely run out of TV series. So I need something new. I'm out too. That's why I watched Babadook the other night. Have you seen Hell on Wheels? I've never even've never even heard there's four seasons of it it's kind of like uh it's a western tv show uh and it's pretty fucking good it's really good it's like a it seems like it's a mining town at the edge of the uh territories or something i don't remember the exact details but i've seen like two seasons of it and there there's two more seasons in addition to that on Netflix. I just haven't

went back to it. I've been watching Sopranos again lately. I see a lot of people talking about House of Cards as well, and I haven't even started that, nor have I started Suits, I think people talk highly of Suits. House of Cards is great

the first season. A lot of people felt like the third wasn't as good as the first two but i felt like the third was good in the second half yeah i thought they were all good i mean the first season was the best because i liked the little reporter drama that was going on there but you know i think it's it stands up and i i just can't get enough of his little smarmy to the sides like I every time that happens in the show I all rewind it and watch that like twice like and I believe this asshole I'm not alone in this line of thinking I'm sure but I

think that reporter girl whatever his love interest on the side is one of the prettiest women alive like she's he's a little mousy she was courageous she just is all right I need to google this chick wasn't no little mousy. She was courageous. It's not a bad thing. She just is. All right. I need to Google this chick. What's her name? No, no.

Mousy like the way someone looks. Not like... She looks like a mouse. Yeah. She looks... Thank you. Really? What's her name?

Does anybody know? I don't know. There's lots of nudes of her on the internet though. Cool. There are? I don't believe... Is she the brunette girl yeah yeah is she our shooter shooter yeah yeah yeah yes she is okay I don't recall

Bob Lee swagger that's his girlfriend she's the one yeah great he's got that she's got that sawed-off Remington 1100 she's in seat close quarters combat and yet these guys take her by hand what was that like i can blow those guys apart i like all of kyle's like what i would have done yeah about movies and she's got a shotgun she's got like a shot a super short shotgun that's semi-automatic like she's got a ton of firepower and these guys like like i got you it's like what the fuck how'd that happen problem with your interpretation of all those movies is like if you made all these shows every series would be three episodes long and the first time the good guy came into contact with the

bad guy and had was when i've been in a hundred yards of a gun he shot him shot him right in the head the movie's over like that would be it every time like Like, oh, this Kyle guy, his directing was great for a while because of the surprise, but it's getting old. Every movie you make, Sean Bean is the bad guy. Some people just know. Yeah, I could do that. I had an idea. I don't know if we... One thing we could do is tell people where we're watching the fights and let fans join us this weekend.

You mean at the bar? Is that what you're suggesting? I'm okay with it. It's not at a bar. We've done that. Oh, where is it? You wouldn't want to pick a bar. A lot of them couldn't go.

Can you tell me where it is? Yes, hold on. The bar is exactly where you want to go. Oh, yeah. Because the ones that come to the bar are the ones that we might not want to hang out with late at night while we're watching a fight. Just saying. Is Joe fighting? No, he fights two weeks later.

Oh. Yeah, I don't think fan interaction at that particular locale would be good for anyone, really, just because of where that is, if you think about it. Maybe. I mean, yeah, maybe. A bar would be cooler. Because you have to be 21. Yeah. You don't want kids there.

Well, it's not that I don't want kids there. It's just that I don't want any children there at all, you know. So it is that I don't want kids there's just I don't want any children there at all you know so it is that you don't want kids I will be like super fan friendly Kyle all fucking day like I don't care if it's a snot-nosed four-year-old I'll be like sitting next to him like yeah Billy smile yeah have a nice day but you have a great fucking time I really will I'm be like sitting next to him like yeah, Billy smile. Yeah, have a nice day. We'll have a great fucking time I really will I like interacting with fans. I'll do it all day, but that night I Just just really want to show off a fan. You can do okay. All right. Let it be known I Mean maybe I just need to think about we could change our mind there, too

Like we could always tell people at the event like hey, we're going here to watch the fights Yeah, yeah, you can always call an audible with we could take our mind there too. We could always tell people at the event, hey, we're going here to watch the fights. This is something you can always call an audible with. We could pick our A team. I've made this mistake before of like, oh, wow, you drove from Texas to see me? Well, hell, come to dinner with us tonight. Then you get to know the guy and you're like, holy shit,

what are we going to do? He knows where we're eating. That literally happened to me once. I immediately like, oh, you drove from Texas to Chicago to hang out with me? Well, shit, man, we're eating like that literally happened to me once like like i i immediately like oh you drove from texas to chicago to hang out with me well shit man we're having dinner tonight at the blah blah blah you should come there we'll all meet at a hotel we're at the radisson on exit 143 let's meet there 8 p.m then we go to dinner everybody right yeah cool then he's like by the way i brought my guns up from texas you want to come out in the back of the parking lot and look at them? And it's just like, nah, you're not supposed to have those in Chicago anyway, man.

What kind of guns do you have? He's like, oh, I got my AR-15. I got my.44 Magnum. Got my Mossberg. And it's just like, we're going to have to tell somebody about this. Two things about those guns. One, you're not supposed to have them in Chicago, probably. Two, Kyle's seen and owned all those guns. One, you're not supposed to have them in Chicago, probably. Two, Kyle's seen and owned all those guns.

If I wanted to be like, hey, Kyle, check this out. 1911, ever see one of these before? Yes, yes. Kyle might not even know how many of them he owns, right? It's not a Glock 17, Kyle. How cool is that no if you're gonna show kyle something new it better be a freaking g11 or something and it wasn't even that oh i i what was the an94 i know a guy who's got an an94 now is that one cool that one's hard to get yeah very hard to get like he had to there was some there was some ridiculous stuff he had to do to get it into this country

and uh like there was like it went with it was with some Chechen special forces at one point. He had a story that came along with this gun. Dude, the G11, that's the one that shoots the three rounds. I think it's the electronic fire. Is that how that one works? Yeah, it uses that stacked ammunition idea. That's why you put those rods in the end. Are there actual confirmations of those stories stacked ammunition idea. That's why you put those rods in the end.

Are there actual confirmations of those stories when people give you like, oh, this was used by Chechnyan forces, or is it kind of like someone at a yard sale could be like, yeah, Herbert Hoover got a handjob in this chair. In this case, I think the deal is like that.

This and every other chair in New Jersey. I think the deal is like this and every other chair in New Jersey. I think the deal is you just can't get one exported like like there's no way to get one. And so it had to find its way to him in a weird way for it to even happen. So like it's it's a it's a Russian machine gun and the Russians don't let them out of Russia. It's and so it went from, like, one person to another, and then there was a lot of parlaying back and forth to get imported legally. And anyway, I know a guy that's got one, and I thought that was pretty cool. It is pretty neat.

I wanted to ask Mike something. We talked earlier about cars, and you're like, oh, nobody really has Corvettes or, you know, those sporty, big, boaty American cars. When you see something like that out there, like, is it kind of a thing? Like, look at that douche, like, just trying too hard. Is that a thing? How does it go down? Not so much douche.

Like, the guy who lives on my street, his uncle basically imports cars from America. So, yeah, he had, like, the old Pontiac Firebird and all those kind of stuff, which is pretty cool. I mean, no one's like, oh, my God, this guy's a dick. It's more of like, oh, cool, a car that we don't actually see too often. Like, if you go to London, then there's just supercars and sports cars everywhere you go. But, like, because I live with Robin Hood, essentially, there is just nothing up here. It's just, like, old Toyotas and Peugeots and that kind of stuff. What about pickup trucks? If you see a pickup

truck, does that register in the douche meter or do they say, wow, that guy's really tough and probably hung. That pickup truck, wow, I wish I was like him. I can't even remember the last time I saw a pickup truck. No one drives

that here. There's no need for it. In America, I see Wings tweet them big ass trucks. pickup truck like no one drives that here there's no need for it like in america like i see i see wings tweet them big ass trucks no you don't have that here like they wouldn't be able to fit on our roads like your roads are so large in comparison to ours anyway like it's ridiculous so obviously like need is a is a spectrum almost right like you know for for example, I bought a ladder today. It was nice to have a truck for that. I bought a whole bunch of mulch a couple weeks ago. Filled the whole bed with it.

How do you even be a homeowner without a pickup truck? You know, like, I can't see you taking the train or the bus back with, like, two loads of mulch at a time. Wait, what's mulch? It's like wood chips and stuff that you put in the garden. Oh, yeah, you can

put that in the back of the car, hang it out the window and drive back. If I'm thinking about the same thing. Like those big 40 or 50 pound bags? I have no idea. You have to use bags if you don't have a truck.

What if you're buying insulation, right? Insulation comes in these rolls so big that, like, a man could hardly hug one, right? Maybe home repair. Maybe, like, do-it-yourself-ing. Do-it-yourself-ing, it just isn't as big in the UK. Like, here, like, a lot of people are really independent. Like, they'll do their own plumbing, their own electrical work if, you know, if they need to, like, knock a wall down and put an entryway in, they'll do it themselves. I gotta think.

work if they need to knock a wall down and put an entryway in, they'll do it themselves. I gotta think. One of my screen doors, it doesn't, like when it shuts, the little springy thing doesn't get all the way closed unless you twist the handle yourself and pull it. It just seems like the whole door could use a

replacing. The outside is kind of sun-beaten. So there will be a time when I pick up a new storm door. You know, the kind of door that goes outside the real door, like a glass thing. And I'll throw it in the back of the truck and I'll put it in place and that'll be that. How do you do that when you drive a 350Z? Oh, I can't do that in my car. I went on holiday the other week to Greece and I couldn't even put a suitcase in the back of my car.

So I had to borrow my mom's car pick I'm gonna I'm gonna guess a more standard European car would be like a Volkswagen GTI right you can fit a suitcase in there heck you could probably take the wheel off a bike and put a bike in there you know if you're like a Tour de France fan yeah I mean most people just like will fold the back seats forward or Or when you see someone goes like B&Q, which I don't know if you guys have that over there, but basically just where you can like buy paint and shit for outside and stuff like that.

They'll just hang it out the window and just drive back. Like put it half in the car, half out the window. Or I see a lot of people when they buy the rugs, they'll just leave the boot of the car or the trunk or whatever see a lot of people when they buy the rugs um they'll just leave the the boot of the car or the trunk or whatever you guys call it um just open with it coming out the back and then just drive back like that i don't think you're actually allowed to do it but people do it anyway but sounds really beverly hillbillies-esque it's like a bunch of things piled on top of driving around pretty much yeah that's pretty much what it is yeah like so I want to talk about the X-Files

the X-Files go on yes so they are making a new season of the X-Files same actor actress yes Jillian Anderson and David Duchovny are back on board they're making new episodes it's 201 days I think until the premiere of this

thing January 16th 2016 that's when the new season starts. So Fox every night is doing a new doing an X-Files episode in order until the new one debuts. So there's 201 episodes.

So I thought that was a cool way to promote that whole thing. And there's a really I watched the trailer for it. There's just a super short scene of them bursting through a door and a little voice over from Scully but I'm looking forward to it big time, I was a huge X-Files fan growing up, I was watching it even when I was in like 4th, 5th grade

I remember talking to my yeah you know I always felt out of the loop with X-Files, I'd watch it and I'd like the episodes that weren't completely dependent on the overarching storyline like the smoking monster of the week like cancer man or whatever i think there's a guy called cancer man right who smoked a cigarette all the time and yeah and and and like they someone had the goods on molder or something if it was about that

then i'm like i'm not really following it because i'm not in line with this story but if it was monster of the week, I could enjoy it at that level. That's what was great about the X-Files. And that's why its audience grew over time that way. Because like you said, you could come in there and it would be about the aliens or some overarching story plot. And you're just like, I'm not caught up with all of this. I don't know. But then it would be like a worm man or uh it would be a werewolf or a vampire and you can get into that

like without a whole lot of inbred people like it like a lot of like every time it takes place in mississippi you know there's some cousins fucking each other wasn't that and that one i think it's called home or something it's the one that's rated TV mature that they only air twice, where it's like the brothers are fucking the mother and making the babies, and the babies are all fucked up, so they're burying them. And they're all, I don't know, deformed and fucked up. Didn't they revisit that family and do two episodes with them? I must be mixing it up with another one.

But there was definitely a really hillbilly family that they were two shows with them? I must be mixing up with another one. But there was definitely a really hillbilly family that they were two shows with, if I recall. And yeah, I don't know. I like X-Files. I don't share the same sort of like, oh my God, I can't wait for this to come back. But you do. I loved it a lot.

I'm definitely looking forward to it. Yeah, I've probably only seen three or four episodes of that series ever. My girlfriend really likes it. Whole thing's on netflix you could start from the beginning it really is a good show and it was made by uh it's made by the same guy who made vince gilligan the guy who made breaking bad he made x-files first oh yeah maybe i will check out some more yeah it wasn't a bad show i liked. There's an episode... Who's the actor who plays Walter White? Bryan Cranston. Bryan Cranston.

There's an episode of The X-Files with Bryan Cranston. It features him the whole time, really. He's the main thing the whole episode. He thinks that there's something inside of his head, an alien implant that's going to explode if he slows his car down. And so he's driving super fast down the highway and they're trying to solve this whole thing.

Do you want to do a mail Monday letter? Yeah, sure. Alright, so let me... I did a quick scan so that I don't give away anything too private, but here it is. No names. Hey Woody, I've been a fan sub to you for five years.

More than that. Back in the modern world for two days. You don't know anything about me, but for some odd reason, I take the advice you give to heart and feel like some of your 7,000 years of wisdom might come in handy here. I was watching PKA 236 when the topic of a cheating girlfriend came up and it really hit home. So here goes the story.

I am, and then I'm going to get vague here, but he's in his late teens, early twenties, living in North America. And he's in university. He's been dating S who goes to another university 40 minutes away since the end of November last year. So end of November, he's coming up on a year, right? Let's call it nine months. She's made me the happiest I've ever been, but that isn't to say we haven't had some rough patches back in march i ended up finding out via some text messages that she cheated on me with one of her good guy friends we'll call him k whom i've been

wary of since s first told me about him i confronted about my concerns with k even before i found out what had happened and she dismissed all my concerns with a cute smile and telling me not to worry because she loves me. As I said previously, I ended up finding out her text that she slept with Kay one night drunkenly when they went out to a bar. Much like you, I was someone who lived by the everyone gets a second chance but you policy and that broke her up and broke up with her.

Unfortunately, my life was absolute shit for the next month and ended up texting her on her birthday. One thing led to another. She ended up bawling her eyes out and apologizing me and telling me she never really knew what she had until she lost it. I still loved her immensely and felt like I should give us another shot. It would be the biggest what if of my life and boy, am I happy that I gave her that second chance.

Our relationship has been amazing for the past three months and I feel like we're closer than ever. However, just this past weekend, something happened. I don't know what to do. We were on our way home from college, from my cottage on Sunday when the topic of our breakup came up. She asked me if I slept with anyone during our time apart and I said I didn't, but I did make out with a girl at a club who wanted to go home with me. I couldn't because I wasn't over her. She proceeded to get angry at me for not telling her sooner, and then she told me that she made out with Kay a couple of times after we broke up.

This was a shock to me because before we got back together, I asked if she did anything with Kay after we broke up, and she said that she hadn't. This led to a big argument and ended with me saying that I didn't believe she didn't sleep with Kay during our breakup. So are you guys following this? I'm putting the pieces together. So they started dating about nine months ago. About five months into that, she cheated on him, fucked Kay, and he broke up with her. So a couple months later, like a month after that, actually, because it was from March to April.

In April, he texted her and they got back together again and things have been awesome. However, this led into a big argument saying, I didn't she believe with Kay, she didn't sleep with Kay during the breakup. I asked to see her texts with him during that time and she agreed hesitantly to prove that she was telling the truth.

Turns out she wasn't. So she showed him her texts. I found one implying that they had had sex while we were broken up, but she still denied it. It hit me like a ton of bricks, but I thought to myself, why would I let something that happened

while we weren't together break us up? I told her I need some time to think about it and really hope we can stay together, and I'm conflicted on what to do. I feel like she could be the one, but it's still the biggest what if of my life. Sorry for the wall of text, yada yada. So she went out with this girl. This girl fucked Kay. He dumped her for it. While they were broken up, she may or may not have fucked him again.

And now they're back together and he's learning of this while they were broken up possible hookup. She says it didn't happen, but the texts imply, but don't confirm that they slept together during the breakup. What do you do? You just need to start fresh. Get a new one. Get a new one, you say. Yeah, get a new one.

Agreed. Yeah, there's no reason to go back into this. Yeah, that one's all used up. It seems like it's going to be a bundle of shit. and like like this guy's fucking her and he's fucking her like find somebody who's been like doing their homework the last year and they there's not a laundry list of people who've been fucking them and they aren't involved in some kind of crazy fucker road drama it's just one guy to make to make sure we just have the facts right she slept with k while they were dating she's a cheater and then she may have cheated while they were broken up if you call that cheating

to one which means probably three you probably fucked her in the ass too oh i don't know about that but i know that raw this is awful like there's no way he should stay in that just cut Just cut it loose. If you're already going through this much shit, how old did you say he was? Teens? He's in university. Late teens, early 20s in university. Spread your wings and fly.

Don't lock yourself down to someone that you are walking on eggshells around and trying to MacGyver your way into details about something they clearly did when they weren't interested in you. They wanted to go out, have some guilt-free fun, and then come back with some, you know, dollar store excuse about didn't know what they had until they lost it. Did you read that off of a pillow at your grandma's house in the past? Go fuck yourself and get out of here. Start a new one.

Yeah. Hey, maybe you should pretend to make up with her, fuck her, and then break up with her and get a new one. That's what you should do. Yeah, fuck her one more time. So am I roughly this guy's age? I'm 21, right? Yeah, roughly.

Yeah, so even I would say like I've never been broken up on. I'm sorry. I've never been cheated on or cheated on anybody. So I'm probably. Because there's no upgrade, right? Right? I mean, once a liar,

if she's already lied to you about cheating, she can lie about more stuff. And then she's already cheated on you, so why wouldn't she not do it again kind of thing? Fuck that bitch. Get another one. There's, what, 6 billion people on the earth. There's someone better than her. Yep. Definitely so. The precedent has been set.

And it is not a good one, so just get out. You can only go better than her. Yep. Definitely so. The precedent has been set and it is not a good one so just get out. You can only go up from her. Yeah, and all of the stories that you guys have, if anyone out there is just like,

well, this girl, she's doing this thing and she's talking to Billy and I think she sucked Billy's dick at the party but she said she didn't suck his dick.

She said they just made out. It's like, no, just fucking cut the cord right there. She'd have fucked up. She fucked up with Billy and you're not going

to put up with it. You go, just move just move on it just you have to be much more uh uh cutthroat and strict about how you deal with with people you can't let people run run over you or you'll just always be getting ran over so don't let people uh disrespect you and respect yourself and if you follow those two rules you'll do well well. All right. I'm going to take a stab at this one. All right. So here's the thing. For me, I wouldn't give a second chance. I couldn't.

And it's because of the scar. If you do, then that's up to you and that's fine. There are plenty of people who decide that their future with this person is worth it, even though it's a scarred relationship. That scar, that thing that just never fucking goes away is what he's struggling with right now. You can get back together with a cheater and you can even live a happy life. But, you know, imagine them married and, you know, this is 10 years from now. They're married. Maybe they've got one kid and she has to go to houston on a business trip he's going to remember that time she fucked k right

like yeah she cheated on me before it's in the back of his head like ah now she's a traveling salesman is this really going to work out that's the problem it's always the scar that exists there and haunts you for the rest of your relationship with this person. And it's not that it can't be salvaged, right? If she's perfect in every other way, except for this one mistake, you might take this chick with this emotional scar between you over the next one. Like if you want to do that, knock yourself out. But I'm not wired to accept it. Like it would haunt me forever and I couldn't do it.

If you do decide to go forward with the relationship that has that emotional scar on it, then you need to stop fucking like picking at that scab. You need to stop like going after it. He is going through her phone looking for evidence that she might have slept with a guy while she was single and like finding reasons for it to tear him apart. And he's not being a good boyfriend you know like look they broke up there was like a sort of punishment there he dumped her she realized what she missed and then if you go back together you can't like spend the rest of your time together being like I don't know I could still keep you

around because you did fuck this guy while we weren't dating maybe you know maybe I'll dump you again for the same reason I dumped you the first time because you cheated on me, you know, nine months or six months ago or something like that. Yeah. So you've got a scarred relationship. If you're going to work on this relationship, you got to stop picking at the scar. If you're going to or you could get a fresh one, you know, who's not wounded yet. That's my take on it like if she had sex with k yep when she was single i mean surely that actually shouldn't

matter because she was single and she's allowed to do anything she really wants so i i personally wouldn't class that as cheating due to the fact that he broke up with her and yeah she may have slept with one guy or 10 other guys but at at the end of the day, she was single. It's all K. He lied about that afterwards. She fucked K while they were dating, so that's a cheat. And then she fucked K again, maybe, after he dumped her. It is devious, though, in that the cheat drove them apart,

and then they fucked after that. And then after those subsequent fucks, she came back and was like, I didn't know what i had till i lost it like so you you knew what you had and you lost it and then you decided to continue gallivanting around doing these things like it seems there's both people need to be doing both of them need to be doing some things differently but this is not going to be healthy neither one's going to be happy this just needs to be just cut, just like ships in the night. Just pass each other and let each other go on with your lives.

This isn't going to be happy. The other thing is he's in college or university if you're international, and he won't have a meat market like this again. If you dump her, you can go out and find like six more candidates. Fuck, it's Thursday now as I say this. By tomorrow. By tomorrow, you will go and you will see six, 12, 18 beautiful single women in your age

and your like attractiveness class that are a candidate for you. When you're 32 working at fucking Pepsi or something, you know, in accounts receivable, it's not going to be filled with girls your age looking for men and uh just be careful not to burn all your university years on someone that that isn't the right one that's true yeah good advice cut it off man you'll be happy you did yep so it's an easy one easy one yeah i like those male mondays we

should do more of those we should do more of the am i an asshole too because that was fun i really enjoyed that yeah i i like that um but i don't know if we should do it a week after i guess it was at least two weeks ago it was two weeks ago Let me look on my list of topics and see what I have. I think it's quite an interesting subject. You know, when you're on about college, because I personally didn't go to university, so you're on about, oh, yeah, there's so many girls to choose from. I have actually never been through that in my life.

So I'm always like, oh, did I miss out by not going to university? But... Keep making money. It'll happen. Well, I'm more of like a long-term relationship guy, I guess. I've been in relationships since I was 17. The longest I've been single is three months. I've not really had that experience in life. But I don't actually think I want it either.

I'd rather shag somebody that I actually have proper feelings for. I think sex is just better that way anyway. Yeah, it depends what you're in for that evening or what you're looking for. Yeah, I think that was a pretty cut and dry one, but hopefully the guy listens to it and

takes our advice. Did you guys see PewDiePie's video, Let's Talk About Money? I haven't seen any of those videos, other than like 30 seconds of one, and I just, I didn't care for it. But I'm not the demographic, so I'm not going to say it was shit or anything. I think his video was really good.

I also think it was very good. I like, well, I don't know PewDiePie. I don't pretend to know him. But I really, I think, what I do know of him, I love him when he's out of character um his videos uh let's face it like i'm a 42 year old dad i think if he were to see this he'd be like yeah what are you not my demo right you know i aim a little lower than you but uh in terms of age not like whatever but um so i see his videos and I see him getting excited and whatever. And, uh, I'm like, eh, you know, I just can't really join you over that. You know how awesome it is to see a

vase fall off a table or whatever he's getting so jazzed about. But, um, I've seen him do AMAs and every so often he does a video that's out of character and I really like him out of character. I wish he had like a vlog channel or something because I think I'd like that. I can see why he doesn't. What he's doing works. Do that. But he did this thing, let's talk about money. So somebody, was it CNN? Who talked about how much money he made? It was, I mean, it's been on for like a couple of years, but that went viral. It was all over Facebook, trended on Twitter, LinkedIn.

I forget who ran the story, but it was some mainstream media outlet or something talked about how much money PewDiePie made. Was it $7.5 million that year? Yeah. Yeah, he's doing great. And a lot of people were saying like you don't deserve this money and you know all you do is make like dick jokes or something in your videos and stuff like that and he counted it I thought pretty effectively in terms of does he deserve it I've seen that lately too like somebody was saying

the live streamers that the successful live stream is like the bigger ones don't deserve the money they make and it's like this is entertainment like no actor or athlete or whatever really deserves what they make you know athletes in particular i think work super hard right like this i can only imagine how much effort i can't name a mid-tier basketball player like all i can name is lebron james or whatever but like that white guy duly or something like that who they all gave credit to winning, that guy probably works really hard. Like he's in the gym all the time. He probably hit the gym today in the offseason. He's a pro athlete. He's running, he's getting in shape, he's whatever. And he's just a middle of the road player. These they work hard. But does he earn like millions a year? Like? He probably makes three or five million a year. That's a lot. There are people who contribute far more to society who earn less. So when it comes to entertainment, whether it be sports or actors or musicians,

I don't know. I guess they earn whatever the market bears. You're the one you know who you enjoy this content they're super popular so that's the thing and uh basically he didn't deny that he made this money at all he's like it's doing really well I'm super successful but uh you know I don't think you have to be worrying about how much money I make and I lined up entirely I just you know yeah he's why are other people saying that he's not worth it I feel like the thing about YouTube and Twitch is it's a medium in which you connect to people in a way that's different the other things you might like LeBron you might think

you like the guy you might definitely like watching him play but you don't know him right like you're not there behind the scenes with lebron you don't have any idea of what he's like in the gym or with his girlfriend or whatever but with a youtuber you kind of know him like you're kind of getting to know us there's a connection there that's that's not there with the with the other things in me in media you know you watch i'm trying to say liam neeson i just i nailed it right good job thank you you watch liam neeson you might enjoy his films but you're not getting to know liam liam neeson you're not getting to know that emma watson or i'm crushing these names or or whoever like you just you just enjoy the the products that they put out. Paris Hilton or whoever you watch act.

Yeah. You're just watching their product. But on YouTube and Twitch, you're kind of connecting with that guy. They let their guard down and they say, this is who I am. And they make friends with, in his case, Jesus Christ, almost 38 million people. And they feel like they're more in touch and able to criticize what they earn. Whereas I don't think anyone really says like, oh, my God, Matt Damon didn't earn that much money. But they do it to YouTubers and Twitch guys constantly. And I think they forget like this is entertainment.

And at the top of the entertainment food chain or pyramid uh yeah the money gets silly yeah it's just because it's a new medium it's not as like nobody calls into question the you know ethics of paying someone in a scorsese film millions of dollars because they're like oh that's a known art form everyone's familiar with this you know it's you got to pay people to get them to do well. Like, it's just because it's new, I think. That'll fade by eventually. I think it's a different thing.

They were more accessible. Like, you know, I don't mean to fuss about my criticism. I've been like a year since I've done that. But I feel like people fuss at me at a level that they wouldn't fuss at like Tom Cruise for because we're tighter, right? Like I'm tighter with my fans than Tom Cruise is with his. And that's the nature of YouTube and Twitch.

You know, I remember when professionals first started entering YouTube, they'd have, you know, like pro looking backgrounds and anchorman looking desks. And everyone was like, what the fuck is this? Like, you know, that's not what I want in my YouTube. I want a guy that I know, you know, they could like you know that that's not what i want in my youtube i want a guy that i i know you know they could you know people who the shocks the day in the life video format that i've been doing lately now and then is super popular because it's it's straight up like what a day in the life is all about and people find that interesting um are those the ones where people

draw while they're talking no that, that's draw my life. A day in the life, well, there's a couple ways to do it. I watch other people's day in the lives, and I think mine are way better. Like, they'll be like, this is a day in the life of, I don't even know. I'm not going to mention a name. And then they're like, here I am sharpening a target. Look at all the water I buy. All right, that's a day in the life of me.

Mine are an hour long. all right that's a day in the life of me mine are an hour long and like my last one like i woke up in bed grabbed my camera from the nightstand and started my day and then i covered like everything we did all day long until like i pretty much edited that video like i covered me editing the video and then put the last clip in it and uh and was my... I went to bed on the upload. And it just covers all the stuff I did all day long. And it was like... I don't know. It's more... I watch them and I'm captivated. Now, I'm sure it's not for everybody.

But I'm like, I can see why people like this video. Yeah, I've never watched a Day in the Life video. Doesn't sound like my cup of tea. But I'm sure a lot of people like it because it makes you seem closer to the person. I like Woody's video His day in the life videos I should say and I think they're really good for killing time because it's like oh

Yeah, this is what I could be doing now Look at that motherfucker. He's cleaning up. I'm not Yeah, clean all that shit up All right, yeah, go pick him up them up now yeah you got shit to do day in the life video of me watching conglomeration of people's day in the life boring parts of all theirs and mine clicked on this guy's this wasn't very good clicked on just hold the camera up to a woolly hour of what he's if I one, I would want to do two. One of them would be a lazy day,

a day in the life, and one of them would be like a full-on work day because they're so like night and day. Like a lazy day, like I'm going to wake up at like 3 p.m. I'm going to like, I don't know, just really hang out and watch Netflix all fucking day. Maybe some Taco Bell involved at some point. Maybe some drinks or something and just watch some scary movies

on Netflix. It's just chilling out, playing video games. Or Civ. I guess Civ is a real lazy day if there's something like that going on. That's ten hours right there. You put a tenth of a Civ game into your video. That would be funny just like me just like three hours in four hours in we're eight hours in 12 hours in I lost I lost that's how they go a lot of the times we've been having fun though I fuck civ like I like yeah I can't take a day off

every time I want to play a Civ game. You should, though. It's worth it. No, Woody has children. He has a wife. Responsibilities. Yeah, I've got a company that I run. I... Yeah. No, I... You know the last time I took a day off was?

Like, I... 1906. And that was only because I got the cold, the black lung. It's probably, like, 2010 since the last time I didn't work that day it's yeah Civ is not a part of my life anymore I'm ready to uninstall that thing

good good you guys can't talk about it if only one of you wants to talk about it please uninstall it I am so fucking tired of Sip Talk. Every time it happens, it is like I've said before. You guys are like speaking Mandarin. I have no idea what you're saying. Come play with us.

Oh, all the chariots. Oh, he was trading gold for rubies at turn 60. Oh, at that point, it was only 4 a.m. The night had just begun. I fucking hate it. It is so goddamn boring. It is. It's awful.

Come play with us. I promise you,. It is so goddamn boring. It is. It's awful. Come play with us. I promise you, it really is good. And everyone makes it out like no one plays this game, but I think it's a top five Steam game. Definitely top ten. No, it's one of the top ten games on Steam as far as players who play it. Okay.

Very good. It is. Oh, my God. It just occurred to me. Filthy's coming to the fucking paintball event. And, Filthy, I love you. But if you talk about Steam, I'm going to. You mean Civ?

I do mean Civ. If you talk about Civ. You can go and be in your own group then. Because me and Chiz and Filthy are going to have a Civ talking group. I'm going to single you guys out. I know who I'm giving my other walkie-talkie to now. Filthy gets a walkie. Chiz gets a walkie.

Kyle gets a walkie. I'm going to show up at the paintball event in a wrestling singlet, ready to fight anybody who talks about Civ. Oh, you're talking about Civ? It's on. Double leg takedown. talked about sip oh you talk about sip it's on double leg take down oh yeah mike don't get into it i have no plan so yeah it sounds shit sorry well we should do uh another topic or one of those asshole questions i want i want more of Mike's feedback on these scenarios yeah Mike we want you in there

let me see it's 10 past 5 in the morning right now 10 past 5 I'm happy you woke up so early early to bed early to rise I downed two rock stars at the start of this and now I think it's just starting to alright so this is not a group topic but it's the one on my mind

people were craving an update on the homeowners drama It's like, ugh. All right, so this is not a group topic, but it's the one on my mind. People were craving an update on the homeowners drama, and I think what happened is I put the closing in a PKN. So quickly, what happened in the HOA thing is, for those of you who hadn't heard, I bought this house. It has a homeowners association, which means there's certain rules. You can't develop properties. You can't have pigs.

You can't do this. You can't do this. You can't do that. And there are no monthly fees. It wasn't a particularly restrictive one. But one of the attractive things about this house to me was that the homeowners association was going to expire in June. Well, it turns out that they could renew it

if they got a two thirds vote. And the way it came down, I was the deciding vote. It was like June at 30 days. It was like June 27th. And he's like, well, Woody, all the votes are in except yours. You decide whether this homeowners association stays or goes. And I talked to my attorney and he assured me that I should make it go. One, I have a property that could be developed on. So really, by giving up your rights to develop, the people with the smaller lots weren't giving up anything. They were just preventing me from being able to develop.

And the other, while there were like 19 votes, because there's like 19 properties in it, there were only like 10 people. So some people had a lot of votes. And the attorney said that by far, the worst problems are with the small HOAs, homeowners associations. That the big ones had professional management companies, I'm almost done this topic, and insanity in the voting. Like if there's two or three hundred people voting then nothing stupid happens. But you know the right two guys could have half the votes in this thing. Like one guy has six votes another guy has, it would take like three people,

four and three. And, and then a couple people, a couple friends could dominate and tell the other people what they can and can't do with their house. So I didn't sign. It expired on July 1st. It's July 10th right now. And, and that's the update for those of you who wanted to know. I ended up being the deciding vote that got rid of it so i'm sure two-thirds of my neighbors hate me and the other one-third love me but um you know like i don't i intend to stay in this house for a really long time but i was telling my wife like what happens if like like let's say colin doesn't develop into a an adult that can support himself

and now we have to provide for him after we're gone and this house instead of being worth like five million is only worth one 10 years from now because it has no development potential because we signed this HOA. Like yeah, I want my neighbors to like me. Yeah, you know, I don't intend to do what I just talked about. But if it comes down to it, then why am I signing away all that value in exchange for nothing? So those of you that were craving

the homeowner's drama update, there it is. I didn't sign. And I don't know if my neighbors hate me or not. I don't talk to them that much, but there it is. Well, then it's not that bad a thing if you don't talk to them that much.

They actually came over yesterday, I think, and gave us free vegetables, one of them. They introduced themselves to us. They had just gone on vacation and they came back and their vegetable garden was flourishing. And they're like, we've got way more cucumbers than we can eat. And they gave us some of those and tomatoes and such.

So I suppose they don't hate us. Well, that was nice. Or maybe they don't know they're still trying to bribe you, maybe, to vote the way they want you to. Vote's over. Or maybe they don't know. They're still trying to bribe you, maybe, to vote the way they want you to. Vote's over. Or maybe there's something in the cucumbers. That could be, too.

Now I'm doomed. But, yeah, there were some people. It was a subreddit topic where they asked for an update on that. So I thought I'd give it to them. Okay. I felt bad for Mike just looking at him. Okay. I felt bad for Mike. Just looking at him. He looks like he took three bottles of NyQuil half an hour ago and it's kicking in.

Borderline hallucinating at 5pm. The rock star woke me up and then it just gives you a couple of hours and then you're like, fuck. My girlfriend just walked in like 10 minutes ago and I was like, oh shit, hi. I think I woke her up as well. Dude dude i have a video to share and watch together this is awesome this is i i watched this and i loved it i don't know if i'm as good a father as this guy it's four minutes long it's making noise when it shouldn't but um

it's making noise when it shouldn't but um are you guys ready for this i'm cute all right so oh if you're crash the way we do this is we queue up at zero and uh we'll count down we'll say play and what the deal is is this guy he's in the background with the green shorts on and the headgear he apparently is a bully so his father brought him into this boxing ring to make him feel like his victims felt. Three, two, one, play. So if you're on iTunes or something, you're not watching the video. In the foreground, there is a pro boxer who is not fucking scared in the slightest of this teenager. The guy's probably 28.

He looks so badass. He's got like this big beard and he's probably 28. He looks so badass. He's got like this big beard and he's toying with him. Well, yeah, you couldn't go all out and just beat the shit out of a child. Keep watching. Yeah, so the bully is an athletic looking guy.

He's taking some shots at the pro, but the pro does not give a fuck. He's gonna let him hit him in other parts. Look at him. He's taunting him at the pro, but the pro does not give a fuck. He's gonna let him hit him in other parts. Look at him. He's taunting him. Oh! Yeah! No, he's just beating him. He's beating him!

The guy is just, like, covering up with his hands in front of his face. And he doesn't want to fight anymore. We're only a few seconds into this. And he's just... Look at him! He's letting him hit him in the face. The pro is saying, go ahead, hit me in the chin. So now you know that even your punches don't do anything.

He hit him twice on his own, and he's cowering. The pro boxer is yelling in his ear, just hurting his feelings now. He's attacking him on an emotional level. But there's some shots of the ribs that come up that i thoroughly enjoy like so he doesn't just headhunt the entire time i think it's coming up really soon his defense is terrible his feet are planted and he's just leaning back hoping he doesn't get hit he's got skateboard shoes on it looks like. There's his dad yelling hit back tough guy. I think that was the body shot I like so much. So this might be a replay I can't tell but he's just

look at the pro the kid is exhausted at this point he's breathing heavy he's down the pro he got his first knockdown. I like the synchronized Zumba woman dancers in the back. Just stepping back and forth. I didn't realize that was a trip until the slow-mo. But this pro is just, he's talking shit. The pro's bigger and stronger, and he's bullying the bully. Look at him. His face is all bloodied up. He doesn't want to fight. Now pro's bigger and stronger. And he's bullying the bully. Look at him. His face is all bloodied up. He doesn't want to fight.

Now they got a little guy. This guy here is obviously skilled. But the bully, who's getting bullied in this scenario, outweighs him by like 40 pounds and has maybe 4 inches on him. And the little guy's just sizing him up. And he doesn't dominate him as much as the pro guy did. But, yeah, he's just beating him too. Look at this. He's all loose on his feet.

He's tired. He just fought one person. That's it. The big guy softened him up. I'm pretty sure the little guy can beat him too. But it definitely helps that it's the second round. Why are they beating him? He bullied other kids at school.

Cheated on a math test. I know, right? Like, how severe was his bullying? Because he looks like he got beaten for, like, half an hour just now. I'm sure it was probably two three-minute rounds or something like that. Yeah, the dad is sitting there like, Look at that! Oh!

But I can't make a four-minute montage. You gotta do it more. Yeah, you got two concussions now. You'll think about it next time you make fun of Billy's shoes. Look at his face! Look at his face! His face is all bloodied. The front of his shirt, there's blood dripping down it.

And he's done fighting. I love it as a parent. If he was bullying other kids at school, it's hard to understand how helpless that you can feel as the guy that gets bullied. It's a really tough situation to be in. I'll assume that he was bullying these other people

because they pose no physical challenge to him. Bullies don't typically pick on people that they can't beat up. And that's it. They're picking on people where they can't beat up, and that's it. They're picking on people where they can safely get into a fight with them. Finally, he got into a fight in the ring with someone that could

safely fight him. That kid's going to get really into boxing and it's going to be the worst bullying any of the other kids at school have ever had. He's going to go back every week. I swear, if you get really into boxing then uh i think a guy like that doesn't tend to bully people yeah look at mike tyson he cleaned up after he got good see that's true he never picked on anybody

uh mike tyson explains a lot of that away pretty effectively like He did an hour-long HBO special. Did you guys see it? Yeah, don't blame me. I just like to rape. I don't know. He explains it so well it makes me wonder if he's right. I don't know. I feel like... He was convicted in a court of law.

Of rape. Although I don't believe he did that rape. I feel like I think he admitted to other rapes uh because he's admitted to i feel like i think he admitted to other rapes but he's like no no i didn't rape her like it's like it's like no no i've raped before but her never i don't have to i can get that pussy like it was like that it was just like i don't think mike's lying right now he's insulted that you're insinuating he'd have to rape her. He'd do a rape. He'll admit that. But not her.

What do you guys think? Good parent, bad parent? Mike Tyson? Probably not that great. Yeah, Mike Tyson's probably not a great parent. I don't know if he... I would never say that to his face. I don't know if he has kids. But yeah, for that video... I think... I mean, I think, uh,

I mean, I like the idea of it, you know, it depends on the severity of the bullying, like Kyle was saying. Like, if it's just like he tripped a kid in the hallway and the dad overreacted, then of course, but something tells me it wasn't that.

Like this guy probably put another kid with a busted lip into the nurse's office and then did it again. And he's probably, he looked like he had a younger face, but was pretty tall. So he's probably just, you you know all just punches down with those lanky arms he was blessed by the purity gods to be bigger than the other kids in his class yep yeah stealing lunch money so yeah it was probably good that's that's a good life lesson yeah i like it but then i asked myself like could i do it to Colin? And it's a tough question. Colin has a heart of gold. He is a really, really sweet guy.

And putting him in a ring would just tear my heart apart. But if Colin wasn't that guy, then I hope that I could do that. Well, if Colin was tying kids to the tire swing at the park and swinging them into the wooden support rods, knocking teeth out, you'd probably think differently. I told you that in confidence. Yeah. Good parent, bad parent, Mike?

I think, I don't know. This might be a bit different in America. I've never seen anything like that in England. I mean, I think he might have took it too far when the kids started bleeding and shit. I mean, it seemed to go on for a while because that was just four minutes of highlights. I feel like a round would have been enough, right?

Yeah. Like three minutes of a pounding. You see this? This is what it's like when you don't have control, when a bigger guy dominates you. You can achieve that in three minutes. I like the bigger guy I thought was a really good pick because obviously that bigger guy could have hurt him much worse right instead he just did some shots to the nose some shots to the body and he spent a lot of time

taunting and picking on him he spent a lot of time bullying the bully not just beating him up and i was like oh yeah that guy was probably a good selection for making him feel small that guy looked like he would be very difficult to fight his his footwork looked so good it looked like he was always just completely balanced throwing every punch he threw when the other guy was just like he was all over the place he was trying he was it was a challenge just to stay standing for the unskilled guy was dodging by bending backwards at the rate at the waist which is a mistake because the pro boxer would just walk forward and now the other guy had nowhere to go. Like, you know, he was just completely pinned because when you lean back like that, now

you're out of defense. That's how Weidman took the title from Silva. And I was watching the pro guy, like the other guy leans back, he steps in, and now he's a speed bag to him. You know, he can't go anywhere. And you're right. It was a total mismatch. I like tough parenting or whatever, I guess, every now and then.

But it looks like it went on too long. And especially since it's easy. I see a lot of stuff labeled justice porn or whatever. But, like, I don't know that. Like, maybe this guy's just an asshole and he wanted to see his son beaten. Maybe all those guys are bullies and they just keep beating this kid up every day. Like, look, Jimmy Spack. He thinks he's a boxer. Look at him doing his push-ups.

Get in the ring, Billy. Let's show him. And they're just pounding this kid every day. He's got a heart of gold and wants to train. Yeah, cerebral palsy. And they're just picking on him. Lift your arms up. Lift your arms up. Meanwhile, Woody's like, look how

shaky he is. He can barely stand. He gets out of the ring, gets his crutches. He's just like limping away. It definitely went way too long and I feel like the reason for that was almost like selfishness from the dad where it was like, alright you learned your lesson but I can't upload a 30 second clip of you being a cruel parent. It needs to be a four minute montage of you getting your shit packed in. Keep whippin' his ass, his ass to try we gonna get some subscribers Okay, oh, you know whose video that was Frog de barber do you remember him? He made those high-action commentaries He was like the first guy to use black ops theater mode and like commentate how a video would go. Oh, I remember those. Yeah

Yeah, I I saw this thing and I was like, Frog to Barber. Is that the same Frog to Barber? And it is. Like, I went through his old videos. I'm like, look at this from, like, 2012. He's doing Black Ops stuff. And, yeah, Frog to Barber, like, still making videos. And this thing's got 2.7 million views, so he's doing okay.

All right. That's in four days. Holy shit. Yeah, this thing. I found it on Reddit,, so he's doing okay. All right. That's in four days. Holy shit. Yeah, this thing. I found it on Reddit, so that'll get you a lot of views. One issue with going big on Reddit is you get a lot of embedded views, which don't get you the same ad revenue. But it's better than not going big on Reddit.

Yeah, because they'll at least click to a couple other things in the sidebar, like 1 in 20 will or something. Yeah, sometimes they do. Even the low paying ads are better than no views. If this thing wasn't on Reddit, it would have 15,000 views or something. Instead, it's got 3 million, so that's cool.

Kyle, did you have another topic? I heard you say something. Oh, he's thinking. That or fart farting I just showed my secret list of topics on stream a lot of people are gonna go back and like yeah I can't wait for the time he talks about trends of overweight obesity by country level who's making the audio noise? Oh, my girlfriend just got up. Is she vacuuming?

No. See, this happens all the time where I'll have the AC on and nothing happens for the longest time. And then out of nowhere it picks up. So you're getting something now? No. I think maybe it was because you weren't. But you were talking, but it got better when you started explaining it oh okay I'll just explain

why there's noise from now on perfect yeah we'll pull something from your list oh stuff or we can do the am I the asshole which is fun wait what's that it's like these stories of people who are seeking

validation and always know they were kind of being an asshole and they ask given their scenarios how much yeah how much of an asshole they're being and then people say yeah you're being a real prick or they're like no you were 100 in the right which it's never 100 in the right because otherwise i know it has to be like oh I gave $6 to a homeless person am I an asshole? I have one of my own personal life okay so here's the deal Jeremy's wedding as many of you know

was not too long ago and there was a big jar for everyone to throw cash into for like you know as this wedding gift it was like here the honeymoon fund or whatever it said. And I didn't put any money in. What did Taylor just say, tact?

No, pabst. Like it was a joke that they were going to get more pabst blue ribbon for the wedding. Sorry. Okay, I'm sorry. Carry on. So I didn't put any money in. And here's why. I paid for Jeremy's MMA subscription and he never went. $1,400 I had to pay for him not too long ago.

About eight months ago, had to write a check for $1,400 to cover Jeremy's MMA training that he never went to over at the gym. So I feel like he gets no wedding present. I was there. That's it. Am I an asshole? I never even mentioned it to him. You should have given him at least something for the occasion, but I can understand not giving him something big because $1,400,

that's more than I guarantee anybody else there gave him other than like a parent maybe. But I don't know. I don't know the scenario really, but you should have given him at least like throw him a 20 or maybe a toaster that you don't like anymore. Something. Just because it is the occasion. given him at least like throw him a 20 or maybe a toaster that you don't like anymore something just because it is the occasion i would have done a token gift too right and also i feel like

you could have given a gift appropriate for this crowd and it it wouldn't have stung too much right like i think a lot of other people may have been giving things in the $25 range. And if you had dropped in $25, then, you know, the real gift is the $1,400, obviously. Yeah, I already dropped in $1,400. So I think I'll just leave it there. Mike? I'd be pretty pissed off if you didn't actually go to the other one. Plus, you have to keep in mind, like, my relationship with Jeremy

has always been one of me like covering him like everywhere at any time like i'm always buying his drinks i'm always like like when we go on road trips i just know that like jeremy fuel is a red bull a pack of marlboro reds and a candy bar and as long as in and every morning i gotta buy him one because he didn't bring any fucking money on the work trip so like nah jeremy gets no gets no gift. No. I came, I saw, and I left. He left pretty early too, didn't you? I left right after the ceremony. Kyle, I

love you like a boyfriend, but I'm gonna say you're the asshole in this one. I think you should have given him a... What would be a token gift to you would have been a gift for the crowd. A gift that fit the ceremony. Yeah, you should have been a gift for the crowd yeah and a gift that fit the ceremony yeah you should have given something at least worth like 20 bucks 25 bucks or 25 bucks

just just something to show that you you gave a shit about his special day but i understand not getting anything more than that because you have supported the guy and yes for a lot more than your fair share. I definitely understand. Yeah, but on work trips, by the way, like, you fund it. I mean, no one out here, I don't think, spent a dime the whole time they were on the team-building trip. Every meal's provided, every trip, all the gas, all the, like. His cigarettes and his Red Bull?

Like, these are luxury items. Could have bought a carton of Marlboro Reds. Perfect. He'd have liked that. I don't know. It does seem like things like that. You didn't buy cheers of cigarettes, did you? He didn't smoke.

If he had smoked. I wouldn't have. If he'd been like, hey, Woody, I need a pack of Marlboros. Let's go. Like, he would have done that he was there he didn't yeah and and like it as a non-smoker like you really would know if someone had smoked you know he's i when i picked him up he had smoked recently i could smell it on him uh they come and i guess he got off the bus and had a cigarette and then i'm about positive he didn't

have another cigarette until we left. Yeah. He was sneaking out at like 2 a.m., like a 14-year-old, then coming back in and showering real quick. He would have to do all that. I mean, he slept inside in the guest bed. There's no way he like has a cigarette and then comes back and sleeps in our bed. And I don't know that he was smoking a cigarette. I think you give yourself too much credit for smoke detection. Like definitely if you kiss a girl who has smoked, you know it. that he was smoking a cigarette. I think you give yourself too much credit for smoke detection. I...

Like, definitely, if you kiss a girl who has smoked, you know it. If it's a smoker's jacket, like, if you smoked a pack wearing these, you can smell this jacket and know it. But I think you could go smoke a cigarette, chew some gum, walk back inside, and you wouldn't know it. As long as you weren't, like... Like, there's different ways that if you smoke and you're just, like, like, blowing the smoke and, like like living in a cloud of it like like like just really just really like

yeah yeah if there's just like a trail of smoke like like going but if you're in the wind and you're like blowing it away from you and you're not you're like keeping your hand away from your body and then you wash your hand. That's what smells to me. In my opinion, if I've smoked, I could always smell my hand, and I would smell the cigarette right there. And I could definitely taste it on my breath. Non-smoker?

I don't smoke. I absolutely hate smoking. My ex-girlfriend used to smoke, though. I hated it. She used to blow it out, and i would actually never know so well i apparently have a superpower because i would faster i'll put it right next there to my ability to resist electroshocks electricity yeah which is unproven by the way i don't know what you're basing that i've seen you get electrocuted several times like to effect like shut up i'm hanging on to this like i've hit you with a stun gun like like it worked no it didn't i'll bring the stun gun on the trip that'll be it bring it bring it

bring your stun gun you got nothing that'll be fun for some entertainment. A little stun gun action at Paintball. People will volunteer to get stunned. Just make sure they're 18. My thing is I like tasing people. Who doesn't? There's a huge difference. A stun gun is like, I shocked you a little, right? Yeah, you felt it buzz.

It hurt a little, huh? But tasing is like, Yeah, you're fucked now, aren you you are so fucked like you know it's complete like incapacitation like you you just you're on the ground shaking in horrible pain he tried to tase me i took the clips out of my pick and then shocked him back those are absolute yeah oh what are you wolverine it's complete falsehood nothing like that happened no i believe it that's that's one of the things that i i i always say no to like i don't want to get shot with a taser at all not even a little bit i'm happy to shoot others but uh but i don't want any part of that. Do you guys want an am I the asshole?

Yes. Sure. All right. So my story. Oh, sorry if my story doesn't flow well. Let's start off with some background story. Me and my ex, let's call her Amber, used to date two to three years ago for quite a long period. It was never anything serious. It's a long time for in series.

A few weeks ago, she started sending me nudes trying to get my interest again she looks good and i'm totally sexually attracted however she of course wants a relationship and i couldn't imagine myself loving her back heck i can't even imagine us holding hands simple reason is that she can be very embarrassing to hang out with and our personalities are too different now i explain this to her and she keeps sending me nudes, because I show appreciation for them. Why wouldn't I? They look amazing. But at the end of the day, she wants to get back together, and I just like seeing nudes. Am I the asshole for giving her false hope?

That's pretty harsh to be embarrassed by her. Do we have any nudes? Yeah. We need to see these. If you could forward those along, i feel like we could make a more informed judgment call um that matters no i i don't know i don't understand the debacle here you tell her you tell her yeah you tell her the truth that that you don't want a relationship but you would like to continue getting nudes from her but he hasn't maybe just mother stuff he says that

he's leading her on. He's giving her false hope is what he actually says. And he shows appreciation for him. So he says things like, he did say, I explained this to her. So he explained that he didn't want to go out with her. But he also says things like, baby, these look amazing. Oh my God, thank you so much.

And she keeps sending nudes. He's giving her false hope. There's nothing wrong with saying that no there's not that's not leading her if he said nothing yeah yeah like i don't see how that's leading her on like she likes him she wants a relationship with him he's saying you look great naked but he doesn't want a relationship with her i i feel like he's friend zoning her her. She went in the wrong order. She went zero to 60, and he's not even in the car. No, this isn't the friendzone. This is the fuckzone.

This is where you want to be. I don't understand the problem here. She doesn't want the fuckzone. She wants a relationship. She wants a relationship, and he's not telling her, baby, you're barking up the wrong tree. Well, they already had that, and it didn't work. And so she should know. No, you're barking up the wrong tree well they already had that and it didn't work and so she should know no you're not being an you should continue this and you should try to

have lots of sex with her you should try to have lots and lots of sex with her and you should you should send those pictures along so we know what we're looking at here literally exactly and i i wish you would have given an example of what the embarrassing thing was. Was it just an annoying laugh? Was she saying wildly racist things loud at the Olive Garden? Like, oh, these breadsticks are great. Wish we weren't being served by a Jew. There's more. There's more to this. Edit.

I've told her she's a good-looking girl and I appreciate her attempt, but I am in no way looking for a relationship. Not now, not next week, never. It won't work, period. All right? I've told her this multiple times and she would stop for a few weeks and then suddenly sent them again. I'm just not talking about one or two

but every single day, about five. Nice. Five nudes a day. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings and I've explained the situation. I've ignored her pictures. It seems like she's aiming for a friends with benefits relation, but I can clearly tell she wants more.

This guy's such a pussy. You're such a pussy. This guy's losing me. You're worried about her feelings, and she's not even. You're like, I hope I don't hurt her with my dick. You are the biggest pussy ever. Someone else should come along and fuck this chick. You suck.

You're not an asshole you're a pussy they're close they're close see what i did completely different completely different you're a pussy yeah the nail on the head this guy has lost me i was on his side with the whole you know yeah you gotta hurt her she wants a friends with benefits hoping that she can leverage it into more she even she is okay with the with the friends with the fwb thing is she god you know what this is this is an anonymous humble brag that's what this is it might be or it may be one of the one of those self-hating men he's just afraid that of uh like i read that thing on tumblr that said that there is no such thing as consensual sex because like a woman can't it was this whole thing it said like all vaginal sex is

rape and like there's guys on there like i see the point like like trying and it's like what's your motivation there no this guy's a pussy um someone else should be fucking this chick uh she's not just sending those pictures to you just so you know there's a reason she's taking so many like you're you're there's a there's a bunch of people getting those pictures she wants to fuck you and some other people she wants dick and you're a pussy don't worry she'll get it somewhere else like she's already fucked somebody else by the time we reply to this you you fucked up yeah that guy's like you don't always have to be like worried you're gonna like hurt someone's feelings with your penis sometimes It's okay to just fuck someone I

Don't understand where this guy's coming from at all. It's clearly one of the D Yeah, doing best of friends on yourself, but you're failing at it. Which is incredible Mike. Did you answer this? Say I yeah, I'm I think I'm a bit different to kyle you sensitive little fuck fuck girl yeah pretty much um see i i'm the type of guy who again would prefer a relationship and have sex so it's like i'm a bit different in that regards I wouldn't actually fuck her so I mean a single you would define a relationship what does that mean like like do you only want to have sex with someone if it's monogamous and you're like making breakfast for each other

oh no fuck no or couldn't you imagine a scenario where just like you were dating like five different chicks and you just had sex with all of them and and that was just the deal because that seems like an ideal thing if you were dating like five different chicks and you just had sex with all of them and that was just the deal because that seems like an ideal thing if you just had like multiple girlfriends and they were like part time girlfriends. See I don't know like I'm more of a guy that is morally focused on like

one girl at a time. I don't understand. What double dildos you've got in each hand. Like, you need more than one. I don't know, like... If I'm interested in a girl, she will pretty much be the only girl

that I would actually focus attention on. And I've also... I don't know. It's just, again, I'm in a bit of a different situation. Maybe I'm a pussy., I don't know. It's just, again, I'm in a bit of a different situation. Maybe I'm a pussy, but I don't know. I, I, all right. So if a girl was sending me nudes, but I didn't want a relationship, but I was open about it and she just wanted to fuck. Yeah, I'd probably do it. But I'd be honest with her at the same time.

I'd be like, yo, this isn't actually going to go anywhere. We're not going to end a relationship. But if you still want to have anal'd be like, yo, this isn't actually going to go anywhere. We're not in a relationship. But if you still want to have anal on the side, yeah, that's fine. No, but you'd have to do all of that after. What do you mean? You can't lead into the situation with the diatribe of, oh, this is where

so-and-so's going, and from here we do this and that, and just jump into it. I saw it. Okay, so I don't add, okay, yeah, I'd fucker i'm sex everything yeah i have a bit of fun but then i'd be like it's not actually going to lead into a relationship i don't see that between us if you want to carry on doing what we're doing i'm fine with that yeah i saw a video recently where um they borrow a brand new bugatti i think those

things are like a million and a half dollars or something. And basically this guy, who's a pretty good looking guy, I guess, he's like a muscular guy wearing like a wife beater with like tattoos and stuff. He's sitting on the hood of it. And as hot girls walk by, he basically says, hey, he tries to pick them up. He's like, hey, how's it going? Blah, blah, blah. And he's like, you maybe want to go, you know, I don't know, have some sex?

Back at my place? It's just like two miles away. And she's like, the girls will be like, are we going in this? And he'll be like, yeah, we're going in this. And they're down. They're down every time. He is asking hot chicks point blank. He's like, hey, I'm new in town. I don't have many friends. You're hot? I got my penthouse two miles away. Maybe we can go have some sex.

And at first, they're always a little shocked, but he'll be like, come on. One girl, he goes, come on, this is a million and a half dollar car. Let's go. And she's like, all right, good point. He opens the door, and she's in. Another girl, like multiple girls do this. And then one of the little twists he does

when the girl agrees to come with him, he goes, oh, oh, actually, this is me right here and there's a dodge neon part behind it two of the girls were like fuck this and like walked away and but one girl got in the fucking neon with him and i was just like nice nice that's that that's that's that's i don't know what you would call that if it was a man i would say he was a gentleman but uh i guess uh just a lady uh to to to think that she was hopping in the million and a half dollar car and hop in the six thousand dollar car and she was still gonna go have dinner with the guy uh but he was picking these chicks up and they were some of them were just going to dinner with him but a lot of them it was just like sex

it was like let's go fuck and they were just like deal just and so then Scott and I start looking at what a lease on a on that fucking car cost I'm like, maybe we should work something out here. Maybe we get like a 12-month lease on this thing We both chip in dude. It's like 400 grand down 25 grand a month 2500 miles a year that's all you get so it's like it's uh no you could you'd be much better off just just buying prostitutes you could uh you know 400 grand down you i think you do you get a lot of prostitutes with 400 grand down uh but that car i was shocked that women would just be like and one girl was so embarrassed she's like i didn't mean it were you really

shocked though like really so i i i know that you could pick chicks up with a car i know that it would be easy to just be like hey get in the car let's go like i've done that before but i've never been like or is the car just a little piece of the package like do you remember pka dan yeah dan had a volkswagen jetetta when he became newly single. Mike, if you don't know, I have a friend. He was probably 40 at the time. Really good-looking guy, though. And his wife was almost a cheater, and he broke up, and he became single at 40.

But he was a really fit, climber-type dude. And he was always working on the brand. He's like, this is my thing he'd like post videos of him surfing and he's always like in some sort of tight hiker shirt with a backpack on which would make it like fit right and um he's you know like he'd do stuff just to pimp his like i don't even know plenty of fish fish profile or something to make the brand. And the car was part of it. So in his case, I think he had a truck. Was his truck getting him laid?

No, but it was a piece of the puzzle. It just didn't do it by himself. This was different, though. There's a distinct difference between a truck, which sells a whole package of things, and a $1. million dollar car that sells if you take up on this offer the rest of your life could potentially be funded like all everything from here on out from this moment forward could potentially be in the bag it was so easy it was that's what the car is saying that yeah if you're with me yeah you'll never have to work again yeah

there are no worries there are no responsibilities Jackie got that and I have a I had a fucking station wagon at the time I like to joke but it's true she um Jackie you know how like women stop working like before the baby's born sometimes

she stopped working nine months before conception so an anticipatory gestation that's a nice deal that's a great deal i was shocked though that that he could be that blunt about it and just be like i could i could totally understand if they were willing to go but he would literally say you know go back go and you know have some sex or something and they're just like what some sex i just met they're just like what some sex i just met you he's like come on it's a million and a half dollar car let's go or they'll they'll

say are we going in this and he'll be like yeah yeah totally and they'll go or they'll be like i don't know he's like we're going in this okay as soon as he brings the car into the mix no matter what he's asked them to do they're all down and i saw Vitaly Z do a video where he picks up women in a Lambo or something without saying a word he's good-looking he's good-looking yeah yeah cuz I was like without a word he's just like hey but I'm saying hey but he just goes I'm trying to think of a regular looking and there's they just get in and go with him. Who's the... Shit. No, don't tell him. I wanna see what he comes up with.

There's the video. I think that's the one you're talking about. Oh yeah. Yeah, that's it. Ridiculous. They called it the gold digger prank. I'll check that out in a second. I want to see.

That is what it is. All right. Top comment. American woman equals horse. So. Of course, that's the YouTube comments. Just a cesspool of bigotry and venom. Before we watch the video, but like here, check out that guy.

This is the guy that played the principal in Ferris Bueller's day off He's also a sex offender. I believe he uh Yeah underage that you know this is painkiller already. We don't judge people for sex offendership, right? right He raped a girl. Did he really? Pretty sure he rapes child. Yeah, I should be making a joke out of it. I think he's a child molester Alright, let's assume. Let's pretend. We joke out of it. I think he's a child molester. All right. Let's pretend we didn't know that and just say he's a... Pick a different guy.

Yeah. I love it. Woody's like, let's pick an average guy. He picks a rapist. Well, fuck. I'm trying to think of it. Most actors are really good looking. How about him?

Matthew Broderick. Matthew Broderick. He'd fit in anywhere. He's a good looking guy, but he's not, you know, he's not Brad Pitt. I think he's just, you know, good looking guy. Let's look him out. He's a regular guy now. He was really cute back in the day.

Oh, wow. Okay, this works. Where was he cutest? Do you think it was in Ferris Bueller? Yeah, yeah, for sure. Oh, absolutely. All right, all right. I'm looking at this guy.

He is not a Hollywood heartthrob at all. So can that guy pick up a girl with the car? Yes. The molester that we were discussing? No, the one. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't give you the new link. Gosh darn, it's a big picture. Put a link of any human being on the planet,

and if they have that $1.5 million car, they can do that. Dude, totally, yeah. This guy would get some very hot chicks. Yeah, Matthew Broderick could still pull some ass. Totally. I look at him, and that hair does nothing for him. I don't know what hair he's supposed to rock.

It's HD, and it's so up close and personal. We would all look like shit at that angle. I think he looks better than most of us would look for whatever reason. That's so up close in his face and such high definition. He's an older guy. Did you click on it and shrink the image? I mean, why would I shrink it?

Because you can see it all at one time. I wanted to be able to zoom in on that weak ass mustache. He does have a weak mustache game. I've got it shrunk and i'm just looking at a more holistic view of him and i don't know what to do with that hair i feel like it's too long it's definitely too long in the front he's got like an emo thing going on but what the hell is he supposed to do because he doesn't he's got a five head and like a seven in the sides you know he killed some people with his car one time. I think I do remember that. You're not picking very well.

He hasn't driven since that night. Really? He hasn't driven a car since that night. He killed those people. That's interesting. He has no recollection of the crash. How about this guy? Secondhand lion, Sixth Sense, little face.

Oh gosh. No. Dude, whatever happened to the Sixth Sense kid, I feel like that movie warped him. He got ugly in a way that you just don't see very often. It's a real shame. Scared him so much that his face stopped growing, it looks like. If you look, focus on his face and look at the center of it. Look how small the area that encompasses his mouth, eyes, and nose is.

Yeah, you're right. Imagine a small oval drawnor drawn around his his eyebrows to like the top of the oval is his eyebrows the bottom is his bottom lip and look how tiny that face becomes and then how huge his head is it it's freaking yeah his eyes and like you're right his eyes the eyes mouth nose area is that of a six-year-old but he has a full-size grown-up head although i'll say this he looks a lot better with that beard. I feel like that's making his face look. This guy could pick up

those chicks with that million and a half dollar car. I'm saying the other guy could. Anyone. With the 1.5 million dollar car. I really think that like almost anyone could. I think you've got to be like gross. That bastard from Austin Powers could. With a 1.5 million like gross. Like you've got to be like. That bastard from Austin Powers could. Like if you.

With a 1.5 billion dollar car. Really? Like an older, grosser, poorly dressed, chubby like guy maybe would struggle. Like because you'd just be kind of creeped out. But I feel like anyone who's like 20 to like 40 years old who's just average looking period is going to be able to pull like really hot chicks with that million and a half dollar car how expensive is it to be a sugar daddy like what does it cost right like so depends what you want when you're if you've got some girl who's only

with you for your money right do you need to constantly buy her like 12 and 14 000 jewelry or you know like maybe you put her in a condo that cost a grand a month or something none of these things no no absolutely not no it's a lot cheaper than that you can get a girl for a few for like a grand a month something like that invested some shoes occasionally totally i know girls who have sugar daddy situations and there's you know a lot less money involved than that i'm sure like if you're like i don't know what some sort of playboy bunny or you're like the the headlining stripper at a huge strip club somewhere that guys are drooling over like an ann and a cole the smith uh situation like yeah maybe there's thousands of

dollars in gifts and cash and apartments being paid for. But I think you could be like a 65-year-old good-looking sugar daddy driving your Corvette for $1,500 a month. Just a regular hottie with no career prospects. She really appreciates the sugar daddy. You can make it rain with a hoodie at the mall and some shoes and stuff. No, not that. Hoodies are like $75 75 bucks what are you crazy Cody what do you get see-through hoodies it's gonna cost you like $1,500 a month you're gonna have just taking them to Orange Julius anything you want like to take her to Wendy's the sky's the the limit, baby. I'll carry the tray. Well, not Panda Express.

And if you do, only the two-on tray. Not paying for three. None of the premium beats. Yeah, but I think Kyle's right. A lot of it's just a security issue, like wanting to feel that you're secure. Not necessarily like, I need $20,000 of this or $10,000 of jewelry, something like that. Yeah. of this or you know ten thousand dollars of jewelry something like that yeah i always hear like uh there's this miss howard stern uh not howard stern's wife but like a contestant who

won a beauty pageant called miss howard stern uh she's like this she's retarded let's just go let's just start there she's she's a retarded blonde chick who's really hot with with like huge fake tits and she was was talking about her sugar daddy situations. And it was like that. It was like, you know. Howard's awesome. Thousands and thousands of dollars. And she was just a 10, just a perfect specimen and retarded,

which is a bonus, I suppose, in that scenario. Not an actual retarded person, though. I mean, they didn't test her very thoroughly. She didn't know a lot of stuff. She played a game called, I think she played Are You Dumber Than a Box of Rocks one time. I don't test her very thoroughly. She didn't know a lot of stuff. She played a game called... I think she played Are You Dumber Than a Box of Rocks one time. I don't think she won either. That's always a fun game.

They've been playing that game for 20 years. And the questions were always, like, right on the edge of hard. You know, like... I'm trying to think. Some of them... What's the capital of Utah? Salt Lake City. It is Salt Lake City. I'm trying to some of them What's the capital of Utah? Salt Lake City it is Salt Lake City

They would give like States like capital questions. I know what you mean like are you smarter in the fifth grader? But they what is a little obscure they would say what what is h2o like that might be a question like There were some no they wouldn't say that they'd say like what is Like, there were some ridiculous... No, they wouldn't say that. They'd say, like, what is dihydrogen monoxide? And everybody would be like, oh, tee-hee-hee, like, in the audience, like, what adult? And then they couldn't answer it. Yeah, the dihydrogen monoxide one is that,

like, they always play, people are so stupid. Do you realize there's dihydrogen monoxide in your tap water? And it's like, oh, really? Is that dangerous? You know, cut people some slack a lot of people aren't going to know that what's the ninth planet oh there's only eight idiot like like just mean i i hated that show are you smarter than the fifth grader i watched like two episodes and it's just it's i well i liked how it was just an excuse to embarrass people but i didn't like

how smarmy some of the fifth graders got when they got it right. Where it was like, I can spell cornucopia. It's like, yeah, because you had it on your Thanksgiving worksheet three days ago, asshole. You wouldn't know otherwise. I've only seen how you smartened the fifth grader once or twice, and I crushed it from home and my comfort and stuff. And I was like, dude, I should be on this show like I would like all of these all of them I was just like you know pounding away on maybe teen jeopardy I usually own that pretty well do you yeah yeah teen jeopardy I

I would I might not win teen jeopardy but I would totally compete in team Jeff teen jeopardy I don't know if that's I don't know if that's anything to brag about what do they ask differently I don't know if that's anything to brag about. What do they ask differently? I don't even know. They're easier questions. Today on Teen Jeopardy, we have 30-year-old Kyle Myers. He's not 30. They're asking questions about 80s movies. You're just dominating. Yeah, I'd love that.

I like Jeopardy a lot. I like to watch and try to see how many I can get. Stern interviewed Alex Trebek a while back, and he was asking him, how often do you know the answers? And he said he oftentimes knew the answers to the questions unless it was pop culture. Trebek was an interesting guy. I'm amused by just how exhausted Mike is.

Mike is yawning every few seconds. He can hardly make it. I'm going to have to crash in a second. I just realized it's 6 a.m. 6 a.m.? It's not time to sleep. I'm supposed to be going to watch like Ted 2 tomorrow, like midday as well. I want to see that.

I think we might watch that on our trip to Chicago this weekend. Or like Ted 1. Yeah, I would see it tomorrow night. We could go do it. Because the night after that is the fights. But tomorrow night we could go catch a movie. I'd be totally down. Okay.

When's your paintball thing? Saturday and Sunday. So we fly tomorrow. And Saturday and Sunday, the 11th and 12th are the dates. Is that all being recorded and uploaded again? I'm going to do it. So I uploaded a video today kind of like letting people know about it. And I asked, hey, what do you want for a video today kind of like letting people know about it. And I asked, hey, like, what do you want for a video?

Last time I did, I'll make up a number like, you know, 10 small videos. But they asked for a day in the lifestyle one where I sort of cover what the entire day is like. That's what I'll do. Yeah, I think I'm going to do some stuff with fans. We'll get a big group together. And I want there to be more of a clear intro and outro to my video this time and I'm gonna get a bunch of onboard stuff I've got I got my cameras charging my that's when I keep like walking away I'm like plugging different batteries in I'm charging all my GoPros and

other cameras so you know what should be good I got something it's not for for videos at all but I got these um I got this Bose headset I I don't know where it is. Oh, they're earbuds, but they're noise canceling. So all earbuds are noise isolating, but these are like the noise canceling technology that are so, like your parrot headphones, but in earbud form. Cool. And I chose earbuds because I wanted to use them

while mowing on the tractor. And I felt like I'd get all sweaty and like ruin the velvet and it would soon be like a freaking petri dish or something and make sense but the rubber earbuds clean nicely so I was really excited I was like I was like testing them I'm watching tractor videos on YouTube and turning off and on the noise cancellation so I can like hear the tractor noise difference that it okay I was excited I'm gonna cut the grass next week i gotta cut a lot of grass

in the tractor i'm totally gonna like uh i should totally make a grass cutting video where it's just like you're looking back and it's like just tall grass turning to smooth low like low cut stuff and then i start just running over random shit chopping it the fuck up with the bush hog that'd be fun so what are you what are you mowing with um i'll probably have like a like an eight foot bush hog or that's legit eight foot yeah it's a big one it's you know it's just two big blades or um it depends what dad's got hooked up he was cutting grass today he may have um he's got that disc mower it's uh it's the one i was linking to but it they're more expensive than i thought it kind of like lays over or like stands up vertical and it's got a bunch of the tiny disc

things in there. It's got like eight of them. It's like eight disc mower. I know disc mower is from online, but I haven't seen one in real life. So I might use that. Whatever he's got hooked up, I told him to leave it hooked up so I could cut the grass. That's nice. I've got a, I ordered a five blade

93 inch mower. We lost the video. And that's in the mail. Agri supply, agriculture supply keeps fucking with me. They said it'd be here in mid June. Then they said late June. Then they said August. Now they say September. So it'll come when it comes.

You should get yourself a, I almost feel like you're becoming a country boy a little at a time. A little bit. A little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Especially with the, you know, you country boy a little at a time. A little bit. A little bit. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, especially with the, you know, you just got so much farm equipment now. It's nice. You need a Confederate flag on the grounds. Obviously.

Well, I got the orange tractor, so I could do like a Dukes of Hazzard thing, right? Maybe put it on like the hood or something. Yeah. TV land stopped showing Dukes of Hazzard with all this Confederate flag controversy. Did you know that? I think I did hear about it. I'm anti-Confederate flag. The story people say is, oh, well, the Confederate flag later became adopted by the KKK, but it was originally not a symbol of hate.

No, the Confederate flag became a symbol of anti-black the minute it was sewn. The swastika used to be a symbol for the sun, but it got used by the Nazi party. So now it's kind of analogous to hate. The Confederate flag or the Confederate battle flag or whatever it was, was built for the Confederate army who was trying to keep slaves. That was like the primary thing that war was about states' rights. Yeah, who was trying to keep slaves that was like the primary thing that war was of the state's rights yeah state's rights to keep slaves and so it was about keeping slaves on your farm it was about making sure that black people weren't entire humans and i think it was also about what states out west would be slave states and free states i think that was a portion

of it as well. I mean, there's a lot of things that I heard it had something to do with the South wanting to trade with Europe when the North wanted them to be a preferred trade partner or something, but primarily it was about keeping slaves and the Confederate battle flag was from the minute it was sewn about holding down black people. It always was.

It always has been. The KKK adopted it because it was anti-black. Like, it didn't become anti-black when they adopted it. They adopted it because it was already a fit. And you got to get rid of it. I know I joke about it. I don't see why people want it that much. You know, like, why are people, why do they care?

Like, why do you want that bumper sticker? Why do you want that flown anywhere? It's so antiquated. Who's really fighting for it? Who cares? You know what the Washington Redskins should do? They should change their name to the Washington Confederates.

Just to troll everyone. It's been an interesting week with the states refusing to to file marriage licenses for gay couples to the to the people you know climbing uh flag poles in south carolina and taking down the confederate flag i think i i think um haley governor haley in south carolina just signed a bill like today to take that flag down uh so they're no longer flying the confederate flag over the state capital of South Carolina it happened today I have been out of touch

South Carolina flag let me see the South Carolina governor signs bill to remove Confederate flag from Capitol gowns well Well shit. Yeah, it really happens. It's not like they're saying that you can't fly it in your yard. If you want to label yourself as just kind of a moron, then go for it. I say if you want to fly it in your yard, definitely do it so I know which houses to avoid and drive quickly past. If you ever drive down I-75 from Atlanta down to Florida, like you're going down that way, then you know there is an enormous Confederate flag on the side of the road that's like it's one of the biggest flags I've ever seen, period. But it's this huge Confederate

flag that has spotlights illuminating it at night time. It's outrageous. The cost. The cost must be thousands in the maintenance. I don't know how cost must be, I mean, thousands in the maintenance. And like, I don't know how much a flag like that costs,

but it's got to, I'm tempted to get a flag pole. Now I could rock a serious flag in my yard. It would look so American. I was going to suggest that, but I didn't think you'd be into it. Not a Confederate flag. Of course,

of course, not a Confederate flag. Like maybe, maybe like the North Carolina state flag and the American flag or something and maybe like a don't tread on me below that maybe get like three of them going maybe it maybe the woodworth emblem blowing below that something the challenge is i think there's some maintenance involved like you got to put the flag away every night right unless it's illuminated and you get an all-weather flag all you have to do is put a light and then technically speaking it's it's all okay

to uh to fly fly your flag night and day but it has to be illuminated yeah which which first i'm like that's expensive but not with led lights now it's not even they're cheap to run and they last like 20 years i love led lights i go around this house replacing shit with led lights all the time i see someone leave an led light on in like pantry or something, and I'm like, ha, ha, ha. In 10 years, that'll cost a dollar. Who gives a fuck? It's great. And they use so much less power.

During the renovation or something, this guy's an electrician. He's building himself a house. He put every light in the entire house on the same breaker just one breaker every light in the house now that like i'm like wow there really is a difference you know you don't need your own like the lights are so much more efficient nowadays that they virtually don't use power i've seen people illuminate the exterior of their homes with leds they kind of put them in the overhang so they cast light down. Instead of having those lights that shine up on your house,

you've got lights kind of where the gutters are illuminating down, and it's a really nice clean look. I like it. I was looking at PC mods recently because I guess I'm going to try to build a PC with the Amazon sale on the 15th. I guess there's a lot of case modding as a thing now,

and they make these PC cases look like all kinds of silly things. So I'm kind of thinking about making my own, like doing kind of a weird steampunk case. Just painting and adding a bunch of bullshit scrap metal and gauges and you can make the switches, toggle

switches and stuff. You could do a Fall Out Boy inspired one. Yeah, do a Fallout 4 PC inspired one i yeah a fallout yeah do a fallout for pc case i thought that'd be really cool but i don't think i'm inventive enough and creative enough to like make it look like some genius on reddit would you know i feel like you could just you know combine ideas that were already done and get get pretty close to something neat yeah i i would like to do that um uh because i i'm excited about this i think i would like to do that. Because I'm excited about this. I think I'm going to do something. I'm definitely going to be able to...

What I want is to be able to do at least 1440p or 44, whatever it is, and go up a scale there to be able to... But 4K would be outstanding. I've already got the monitor. It'd be nice to have a machine that could do it. Do it? It's all the video card. Yeah, yeah.

You could totally pull that off. I don't want to get crazy with it but but i guess i guess i want to do this for like under three thousand dollars i think that's i think i'd be comfortable with that but i don't want to go more than three that seems excessive i think you'll be comfortably under that and you can you can do 4k for well under three grand and a lot of people who act like like oh no it doesn't cost anything i built my computer for 400 i just took you took the hard drives that I had laying around and added it to the case that I had laying around. I had some RAM

sticks on the hard drive. I bought that old CPU, bought a new GPU, and yeah, it only cost me $600. Right, right, because you only bought one part. If you do this stuff from scratch, then count everything. Are you getting a new mouse? are you getting a new mouse you get

a new keyboard like those things are pricey all by themselves i think i might just keep my old case and if i do do some kind of a modification maybe start there um i've got a huge case like it's way bigger than what i need but i need everything else like i'm not going to be able to like pick into this and get anything like i need all new everything i bought a really high-end motherboard thinking that i would be able to upgrade it and that turned out not to be the case and you know because it's like the next year than 18 months later they came out with the new RAM and that requires a new motherboard and now they have new CPUs and like so I'm my next computer I think that all like the only thing I could

really reuse is the power supply in the case and I'm like you know what I think I'm gonna build it from scratch so that I can have this one like maybe sitting in the downstairs rack and you know all those things that I miss I'll be able to still access like I don't know this is probably boring but like FileZilla logs into the PKA FTP site so that I can upload this thing that's the kind of app that it'll take a week for me to be like, all right, FileZilla. I don't remember the password. It's been auto logging in for me forever. That'll have to get sorted out or something. There's a million little, like every time I get a new PC, like at work or something historically, I would just miss all that stuff

that I used to have. So I think I'm just going to start from scratch and then have this available for all the stuff I need. I saw a PC case earlier today that was completely open. It was more like a shelf to plug all the components into. It was just like an open thing like this. Did you see the one that looked like a washing machine for clothes? Yes! That's what got me started on the PC case modding idea thing. I was like, ooh, that looks cool, but I wouldn't want that.

It's not the one you want, but you appreciate how well it's done. Yes, I would like a different theme. I don't know, one that maybe looked like a bank vault or something. I don't know exactly what I'd want. I might not mean much to you, but I was really into the game Portal for a while, and there's PCs in that game, like under the desk. And I saw a couple mod there to look just like the portal computers. I was like, ah, I would love to have that.

But now everything I have is I have a rack, like a server rack under my thing. So I like things in a 4U case that I can just rack and mount. And then when this one's done, I'll take it, put it in the downstairs rack, and put the new one here. So I've got a system. It's not about looks. Yeah, I'm looking forward to this. Kitty, I, by power, did the one I've got now.

Kitty just kind of put some specs together, and they built it for me. But I'm doing this one myself this time around, and I'll build it myself too. So it'll be interesting. It's the first time I've done that. Very cool. Well, who's thinking of calling it a show i think so it's uh the sun's coming up over there and mike's neck of the earth and i'm getting pretty sleepy myself very good hey you know what i appreciate you sticking to

the end i know how it was so uh i'm gonna have the best sleep ever right now. I know my girlfriend's going to wake up in like three hours, though. It's going to be fucking horrible. I think you can sleep through that. Yeah, I can tell you need it. All right. Good night. I have like massive bags under my eyes. All right, guys.

I appreciate it, though. Thank you. Yeah.