Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #240

Episode Date: July 30, 2015

This week on PKA, Patrick aka How I Became, joins the guys and they further dive down the rabbit hole of Kyle's crazy idea of attacking a shark in it's home turf, and plans are revealed about Woody's Megashop DIY project/video series.

Alright, P. Killer Ready, episode 240. These bastards keep wanting to do the show while not recording, so I just started it. Woody keeps delaying the recording, but this episode of PK is being brought to you by our friends at Audible. Audible.com is the leading provider of premium digital spoken audio information and entertainment on the internet. We're proud to have them. They are the perfect sponsor for us. We've been doing Game of Thrones talk forever. And Woody and I are obviously audiobook listeners. That's how we like to consume our Game of Thrones talk forever, and Woody and I are obviously audiobook listeners.

That's how we like to consume our Game of Thrones, so excellent partnership. We'll talk more about them later in the show. Yes, I've got a lot to say, but Audible.com is awesome, so I'm pretty psyched that they're part of our deal now. And we've got Patrick here with us. Now, Patrick, would you – hello there. Like I said before the show, this is the first time we've ever really seen each other at the same time, but I'm aware of who you are I think I want to tell us when I introduce yourself to you before I we've written back and forth Yeah, and I always pictured you fatter, so I'm gonna say you type

You type like a fat dude. Yeah I don't know who you are. Tell me a bit. There's lots of tight toes. Right? He hits two fingers at once a lot. There are two keys. Yeah.

I'm sorry. Carry on. I don't know where to begin, really. My name's Patrick, obviously. I have a YouTube channel called How I Became where I interview YouTubers such as yourselves. But, yeah, I mean, but yeah I mean I've been like what he said I've been in communication with Woody for a while now many things haven't happened and many things are still being planned but yeah I don't

know which which part of my life would you guys like to dissect first the most embarrassing part the wings of redemption relationship yeah that's a good one you know oh yes, he knows him quite well. And by the way, I don't know where this is going. But I'm really curious about it. I messaged Chiz last night, a small synopsis. Shall I start at the beginning? Start at the beginning, and we won't interrupt at all.

No, feel free to interrupt. That always makes it more entertaining. So, from the beginning, just like most people who watch PKA, I was playing Call of Duty and by playing Call of Duty I wanted to know more about the game went on to YouTube through YouTube. I found wings woody Kyle Merker everybody that I still watched it today and Yeah, so by watching those people I really wanted to stop playing with him I'd love to play with you guys and more warfare 2 2 and Black Ops and all the games he used to play. So

I found Geordi through that. I found his channel and then he also asked on Twitter once, I think it was back when he was allowed his Twitter account, if he wanted... He asked if there was people that wanted to play with him. And he

happened to be streaming at UK time, which is quite abnormal for him. would have made it about 5 in the morning for him but I said yes and got into his Skype friends list and played a few games of black ops with him through that because I was on his Skype friends list the thing you do is you just kind of annoy him for a quite a while I asked him if I can make thumbnails and all that Photoshop bullshit that you do let's get your videos more views and then he finally said yes one day I started making thumbnails for him after making thumbnails

I started doing like overlays and stuff like that cuz I was good on Photoshop Through that he then made me like the manager of his channel You can do that by Google Plus where you have other accounts connected And I started like helping him edit video series and create ideas basically because his channel was on a on a on a downslope sorry did you edit the knife fight video was that you no that what were some of the videos that you worked on personally i want to know which one is so the one you'll like the most will be i edited and produced every episode of king of cocks oh wow that's a that's a that's a feather in your cap. The crazy bit

is I also did all of the subtitles, and I couldn't understand all the fucking stuff that was being said. Coming from the UK and from Britain, half of that stuff was complete gibberish to me. It was a really fun series

to edit. The most difficult bit, obviously because I'm in the UK and Jordy's in America, I couldn't go film stuff, so I'd kind of have to just get him to film something, which is why by the end of the short-lived series, it was just like a six-minute shitty clip of some

person in his family who was talking again gibberish that I couldn't really translate very well yeah you had to rely on him to do the filming yeah um yeah and literally sometimes there would be like you were willing if i'm sorry to interrupt you were willing to come to conway south carolina however and like sort of document wings his life isn't that right well it was obviously listen to you guys it you guys thought it would be crazy entertaining so did i of course the king

of the king of fox idea was like perfect uh the idea of filming it all like that his life was so like rich and detailed and in the content you could produce it was like why not i mean a flight over there i'd stay at wings house it's it would be a really cool trip but also it would make some amazing content but unfortunately it never came to be i would love for that to happen did you do the channel rebranding with like the jordan and so that was something that i basically he had always talked about how wings of redemption through the stuff that's happened on pka that won't be one with syndicate uh stuff like that that the wings of redemption branding had become really negative so you type in wings of redemption to youtube you get negative videos either slating him or you know other people's bad opinions of him um or you get stuff like the 1v1 with syndicate

that was like one of the first videos that came up i bet that happens with me the idea around the rebranding was geordie jordan is obviously what wings wanted to become he talked about wanting to do more vlogs and more personal stuff, which he did with the walking vlogs. But that way, when you type in Jordy Jordan, not only did his channel then come up, it was positive videos. It was new videos. And the SEO around that and the titling and the branding was all planned to basically get him into a new persona without having to make a new channel, which is something that… So were you going to live in the house with him? Was that going to be part of it? I wasn't going to go there for a long time okay I can only really stay maximum of 90 days

on a yeah that's a long time with the concept of time dilation 90 days at wings of Redemption's house house is like it's like 16 years or so I work in the center of London like yeah being in wings this house would be like living in the woods for 90 days. It would be a crazy different lifestyle. It would be really cool. He's pretty cool. They call Conway the Paris of South Carolina. No, so here's the thing.

I feel like this would be, so you think, it would be three or four episodes if you imagined it, and then it'd kind of go downhill from there because what are you doing Conway after the fourth episode of King of Cocks but he's got Myrtle Beach right there yes this is sort of like entertainment capital of the white trash America and stereotype you would have a lot of other people just like Geordie and yes lots of motorcycle rallies only one Geordie I do all Lots of motorcycle rallies. There's only one Geordie. I disagree. All kinds of crazy shit. Variations of a

person. Maybe. No, in my head, though, Geordie stands above and beyond in entertainment value. The people would be on a gradient more similar to him than what Patrick was used to. So they'd see like a 10% Geordie and be like, well, that's way different than what

I see. So it'd still be a weird culture shock. Yeah, that'd be hilarious. So you edited his videos and you rebranded his channel and you made his thumbnails. And then you don't anymore, though. I mean, you've seen what's happened to his channel and he discussed it before he departed with PKA and stuff like that. I mean, his heart wasn't in it. The content stopped. I even came up with video series that were really beneficial to his lack of interest. he departed with pka and stuff like that i mean his heart wasn't in it the content stopped i even

i even came up with video series that were really beneficial to his lack of interest by that that and the throwback thursday videos where he effectively i just gave him a video i said look here's a video that you did four years ago commentate 30 seconds over why it was a good video and why you enjoyed it and what it meant back then. And then I just play that video of an overlay over it. And that was a video series also with Jordy's friend. What's his name? I can't remember. This is really bad.

Kelly. Was it Kelly? That was the one. So he had sub Sunday, which was another type of podcast, but with fans and Jordy wanted to have that onto his channel so we made that as well and i was a host on that for the the four episodes it ran but geordie's geordie's biggest problem from from my perspective was his short-sightedness on these

kind of things so sub santa was getting i think the first episode got like 35 000 views and then the next one got 26 and the next one got like 24 after like a week um and after like four episodes he's like oh no this isn't going anywhere this isn't going to become anything big i don't want to do anymore and that's why it stopped and for me it's like well you've only done you've only done this for four weeks yeah what's a good number five years um what do you think i think you can tell like 8 to 12 are better numbers for me if you had done 8 or 12 episodes of the 10 if it wasn't going anywhere you've got to review it and really see what either needs to be changed or if we just stop it all together um because that

way if you think about a weekly thing you're 10 weeks in you're a year in and uh it gives you a good idea about what the fans want as well, obviously. I feel like we should put together a pitch for a production company and try to get someone to front the money for the King of Cocks episode. That's what Wings should be doing. I don't want to do his dirty work for him anymore, but if I'm Wings and I don't want to go forward in life and maybe go back to school or get a real job, if I still want to try to do this unconventional lifestyle thing,

I got to find a way to make a TV show about myself because I feel like it would be good. I feel like there's a way to make a show about Wings of Redemption that would be hilarious. You should get in contact with TLC. They do a lot of shameless things like that. They're trying to help people. They're like, oh, honey boo boo, we're not laughing at her.

We're trying to help by drawing attention to her. Yeah. There seems to be a lot more American networks than UK. I personally work in the media industry now, so I have a lot of connections to broadcasters in the UK. But unfortunately, beyond Discovery and a few other channels there's not really any network that would consider to pick up something

like that and develop it. But yeah in America there's a bunch of them. There's a bunch of like really shitty cable ones. Totally totally happening. Oh there's a ton of channels like that. Like I watch this YouTube series that's just as shameless in the UK called like Super Size vs Super Skinny. And they basically have a big fat that like i watched this youtube series that's just as shameless in the uk called like super

size versus super skinny and they basically have a big fat like oh you eat a bunch of every day and they're like a lot of chips and then uh and then some skinny person who eats like half a piece of toast and they make them sit across from each other and eat the other person's meals. Wasn't Boogie on there? Boogie was on there. The doctor slash host of that who basically tells these people they're fat shits or tells them that they're too skinny and that they need to gain some weight. He went over to America and actually

talked to Boogie about what he was doing. I don't know why they did that. I think it was just because boogie is obviously quite an influential character um and they wanted that us connection but uh yeah he was there's a clip on youtube somewhere of it yeah i i saw it and i would say boogie was a candidate for the show right i mean there's usually a big guy and a little guy he's a big guy yeah they normally pick people from okay because it's it's more it's a uk-based show maybe you're right i'm um i'm looking i just i haven't followed everything wings has been doing

lately and i'm normally i don't know if you oh i just get the face of the earth i see he streams yesterday so that's that's encouraging yeah it says that what did he stream? It looks like it was going to be Elder Skulls 5 Skyrim. So Skyrim. I should have seen that. Every so often I hop into his streams and just I enjoy them. And usually I

heckle a lot. I like how you hedge your bets there with, well I enjoy them, but i'm kind of a shithead it's not that like like okay so he plays the game right and i'll root for like all sorts of non-competitive things like i root for the catwalk to give out on him but that's not going to happen i'm on team monster you know and uh but i also i i enjoy he does a good job streaming he's an engaging guy which is why he's been so successful on youtube like he just yeah just is um he that was it was another

interesting part sorry there was another interesting part of working with him actually was managing his twitch streams so i had obviously control of his account i was the one he would not set up the streams when he starts streaming i would monitor the chat but his rules around monitoring the chat not the most like generic you know ban people that swear um you know promote you know remove people that have legs it was if someone brings up a random topic that may have pissed him off in a video or something banned them instantly forever none of these like 30 minute bands or anything it was it was pretty fun the rule set wasn't really what were some talks that he that were bannable i mean anything to do with syndicate was completely gone um anybody like dissing say dissing anybody like bad mouthing his ability to play call of

or any game he was playing gone uh he would end up like obviously i was trying to promote conversation in the chat so i'd ask people questions and they would try and respond but he would end up just banning everyone And then just unbanning them like a day or two later, oh he would unban them too. Yeah, well the problem is it was his old kids like Next day like no one shows up alright guys I'm sorry about last night concurrent viewers and you end up with 250 after a week because they're all gone but it's like a mass unbanning and it was just a constant revolving door of and fuck that guy again now come on back so we're not on wireless are you are you plugged in are you on wireless?

Right now I'm wireless. I'm going to try plugging in. Yes, please. I had to. I was moving today. Okay. Getting a lot of moving done today. Yeah, try.

You're getting all crispy. Yeah, you're getting pixelated, which is turning me on from my 1996 porn days. It's kind of a weird fetish I developed. The image that load down the screen. Yeah, exactly, right? Like, oh, the girls, this is what they looked like back in the 90s. Back when we used modems. All right.

I completely violated it. Our train of thought is gone. It's derailed. What are we talking about? Well, I think, so besides your involvement with Wings of Redemption, what else have you done? Well, my next venture after that, as it were, is through the skills I gained

via talking to Jordy, working with him. I ended up doing a lot of SEO stuff, the back end of YouTube. So search engine normalization, basically, is the tags at the bottom of a YouTube video when you upload it. Helps you get to the top of the search results when people search certain topics so my cousin happens to have a YouTube channel which has over a

million subscribers and they needed someone to SEO their first 500 videos they ever made and they'd never done any SEO in them because they had no idea what that was and until more recently so I did 4,000 tags over a week, which got them an extra 600,000 views. What do you get paid for something like that? That one was not a freebie, but it was just normal hourly pay in London, which is about £10 an hour, which is $15. How many hours do you think you put in? 10 hours a day, five days a week.

It was only one week though. I managed to do it all in a week. So 50 hours. So what, like 600 or 700 bucks? Yeah. But that was work experience more than anything. Like basically after doing the Geordie stuff, he said, oh, I've seen what you've been doing. You know, it'd be cool to get you on board.

So I wasn't going to turn it down, you know, family and everything. But yes, I mean, stuff like that is very powerful for brands. And that's something that I hope I exercise in Geordie's channel by bringing in something new. But after that, I actually created my own YouTube channel and used the techniques I found of annoying people by emailing them a lot and getting interviews with them. And that's where how I became came about is because a lot of people on YouTube do these what's called that like draw my life videos where they talk about their entire life. But I always found the most interesting bit through working with YouTubers is how they started, why they started and where they are today because of it. i obviously leaned on geordie as the first person

to interview and that video got like 10 000 views in the first day and i was like holy this is this might be an actual good idea and i got all the social media ready just like you guys did when you made your accounts i imagine uh just in case i made that video and through that by emailing loads of people. It's pretty much throw as much shit at the wall and see what sticks in terms of getting people to reply and happy to sit them down for half an hour on Skype. And I made some more videos with Linus Tech Tips was the biggest one.

And unfortunately, that was the last one I've done so far, which was over a year ago now. Sounds really bad. But that video is at like 250,000 or 60,000 views. And I think that was just through good SEO. The idea was quite clever. And when people type in Linus Tech Tips, because of all of the, I say, tricks I've used, all of the best practices I used, it was at the top of the search results.

So in Linus channel, in their million View video where they thank all their fans, they have a screenshot of when you type in Linus Tech Tips, and it has their channel at the top bar where it's like the subscribe button. It shows the amount of videos. And the second, the first actual video was my video, and then it was all their videos underneath. But since then, I basically, it was very difficult to get these YouTubers to like sit them down like this and talk to them and ask them the questions. And I then got a full time job working in a management company, building the online side of the business.

And I basically just ran out of time. Like I preferred sleep over emailing hundreds of YouTubers. So I haven't made a video since. But I really like the idea. I mean, the channel has 7,500 subscribers or something, and it all happened over like a three-month period. But, yeah, that's what we do. You also had some, I think at one point you were emailing

and you were offering your expertise in doing like our survival trip, like being like the cameraman and also kind of a director of it. So through doing the stuff with Geordie, during that time obviously that was never a paid gig actually that was never never something Geordie paid me to do I just did it out of the love of his videos and also because I you know I really wanted to learn these things anyway and it was a good way to to hone my skills so yeah during that time I did a lot of freelance videography and photography so for bands

even some like baby photography and shit like that anything that you know just brought in some money yeah photographing one year old children in studio situations that sounds fun that sounds really odd it's fun when you have a pissed off baby crying

for four hours and you're going to get some decent happy photos of them out of it. See, I did a lot of videography stuff. And then obviously being an avid watcher of PK anyway, you guys talking about the survival trip. I have no idea how I got onto Woody's Skype list of friends. It may have been through Wings. I'm not sure.

But I just sent a proposal. I was like, look, I'm not sure but I just sent a proposal I was like look I could with the camera I think I made a spreadsheet or like a document full of ideas the length of the videos what would be inside of the videos he would be in the videos and stuff like that and just say I look at that dude I have a video idea we haven't talked about this and sometimes we don't talk about things because it if anyone's familiar with YouTube 80% of your ideas don't come to fruition right yeah, you know they're just things Sometimes I let them get too far in the public like Woody's lab, but this is the next might happen idea Doc which oh go on good with a channel name for this

Let me guess. Woody Does Europe. No. It's a channel fully branded. Woody Does Europe, right. It's a wild orgy after orgy. That's what it sounds like to me. I hear Woody Does Europe and I think pregnancies everywhere. No, I thought it would be like a fun European vacation,

Timmy Chase style trip. You're all to watch traipsing about another continent. Orgies. Somebody make a thumbnail for Woody Does Europe. What would that look like to you? No, no. So here's the deal. I want to shop, right?

I'm going to do this big shop garage thing on my land here. And Chiz was like, we should make a video series out of it and we should try to get it paid for like in a super world we'd actually make money building the shop in a good world we'd get it for free and in a most likely world we we get it you know lots of helpful stuff lighting lumber etc and I'm working with an engineer now on getting the drawings. The idea is that Chiz comes, stays in my guest house, and we build a shop together.

We're going to do a daily vlog on just erecting walls and HVAC. It might be fun. I'm totally going to be a guest star in one of these episodes. As soon as we put the fence in, you can come around. As soon as you need something

blasted or something like that or you need like like like like some small things And I'll come and do it and then I'll it is like where's Kyle and I'll be gone Hold the ladder and in Kyle just a good truck blasting down the road with dust everywhere following. You see the back of the Camaro. You didn't bring any tools, nothing. Just like other vlogs as well, you could do the clever thing of really click-baity title

like Erection Gone Wrong. Walls, buildings, you know, erection, erecting things. I think it might be a fun idea. And if we do it well and like some of the videos could have lots of long tail potential right like if i make a call duty video that video is interesting until the next card mostly um if you make a video on like how to install drywall and grout it or whatever you don't grout drywall but whatever um you know

how to wire up a receptacle that thing could be interesting seven years from now you know as someone else finds it and yes there's a lot of searchability on diy stuff and funny enough though if you type diy into youtube you get a lot of beauty videos making necklaces and stuff like that there is no market currently for diy this is something i'd looked into before as well um and yeah diy DIY videos in terms of the male build stuff, there's no huge market for that. You'll just find how-to basic. That guy is huge.

I'm not sure why that makes any sense. It's like a rolling means factory. I don't like it. Now, my first thought was that maybe you should add a third character to this. Things for redemption. No, no. Someone who's a real tool man. Who's like a construction guy. Like a legitimate

guy who runs a construction crew. As like an expert. My question I guess is like do you have any like shop building experience? So listen. Here's the concept. Shop building is so multi-faceted. Woody's Gamertag. Woody's Gamertag, the unlicensed

contractor. Can you see it? That's a brilliant name. That's good, but it's also potentially very dangerous down the line. There's just steel beams and shingles cutting holes. After that neighbor kid dies when it collapses, I'm sure this video

series is going to be exhibit A. I think they'll refer to it as report. Dude, no. Not a good idea. I'm an engineer by training. And like most engineers by training, I think I can fucking do anything. You're a computer engineer. I have a master's in engineering.

Period. And I don't care if you need a robot built or a building. I will fucking do it. I feel like this is going to be fun to watch. That's what I feel like. Yeah. Do you think if you did this all yourself, though, this comes to a lot of DIY projects, especially in a house when you have a family, is this is going to take a lot longer if you do it in comparison to having contractors in like imagine you doing your house how long that would like actually probably about the same amount of time same amount of time no that's part of the

inspiration so i've been doing handyman stuff around the house and whatever for 17 years now right 1700 years there you go right since we were installing gas lamps and um on top of that i've been building furniture i've got every tool that you might need um i even have some other additional stuff like tractors and forklifts and things like that that i could imagine would come in handy from time to time um i am i'm i'm at the level that someone who's building their first house should be. Do you still have that laborer waiting in your front driveway as well? Because access to cheap labor, very useful.

We could find cheap labor. We could make things happen. I just hired a couple of laborers yesterday. I got a roof. Are you going to put on this thing shingles or tin? Shingles. You're going to shingle the roof? Isn't that really difficult to do?

Okay, I'm going to have to Google shingle the roof. See, I think you're underestimating how hard it is to build what is basically a small house. gonna shingle the isn't that really difficult to do okay i'm gonna have to go i don't see i think you're underestimating how hard it is to build what is basically a small house i think the safest way to do this is to have like a shot in the beginning of you and chiz walking towards the foundation with like wood over your shoulders looking back towards the camera time to get to work and just do quick cuts of like hammers nails just with the hands and then in the real time you have a set of trained men come and build your shed.

And in the end, it's just a montage. There'll be trained men for pieces of it. Like, for example, it's going to have a big... It's a concrete pad construction, right? So I'm not going to lay the concrete pad myself. I think you need serious

machinery to lay a concrete pad. You think people can do it? You just need lots of concrete, right? I've done it a few times. I think so. How big a pad have you laid? Really big. As big as a garage.

I don't know, like 25 by 25 feet maybe. Like really big sections. A concrete pad being like the foundation area right yeah foundation so that would be half the size and that big enough i guess in my head you know you might even you want to do it in sections anyway i think i don't think you would do one so how did you like i've never laid concrete before we you dig down a bit and then um leg gravel and put it on top of go on listen i'm listening you use um um like a plywood to to to basically make a form that's going to fit. You put stakes in behind the plywood, made it like two by fours, sharpened on the end,

hold it all together, and then you make sure it's going to be the shape you want. You measure it, make sure it's right. How did you smooth it and how did you make it level? A two by four, dragging it on the top and spraying water, just back and forth. How do you know that's level, though? You get a level. You can run a string across. That's smart, Mark. I like that. I like that.

Yeah. A level, yeah. I'll be the third guy. If you drop it, though, then you have a permanent level installation. That has its benefits. Concrete's a weird consistency. I don't know. If you threw a hammer on a concrete pad that's freshly poured,

you're not going to lose the hammer. Is it like custard? Do you guys know what custard is? I do know what custard is, but concrete's full of gravel too. So it's not a perfectly homogenous mixture. It's like it's it's sort of it's not a perfectly homogenous mixture it's like cream but thicker and basically if you put your hand into it you you can put your hand into it and your hand gets all shitty but if you run over it if you get enough of it and you run over it the surface

tension is enough to where it stays as a solid and you can you can run run over the entire thing and i imagine concrete works in the same way by the the way, don't let me try to say that I would recommend this concrete pad for your shop. No, you're doing that bit, right? Yeah, you should have someone else do that and you should also have them use one of those big machines that has the spinning pad on top that'll smooth it out so it's a really smooth finish. Do you guys want to see a video of running over custard?

I was about to get the same video. It's pretty cool. Is it the Brainiac science one? There's more than one I've seen that. Running over custard. Damn. Alright. What? Why? Who wanted to try this? Well custard's interesting. I think it's a non-Newtonian Custard is interesting. It is. I think it's called a non-Newtonian fluid which means that like if you hit it hard it kind of acts like a solid, but if you hit it gently it doesn't yeah Corn starch experiment yeah

Grade yeah, it's it basically custard is what you just explained there, but flavors I mean you put it over all right are you guys ready cute up all right? Where are we queuing up a zero or to 27? I give you a 27. Sorry there. sorry there we go yeah i'm ready ready set play so that's a lot of custard that's like a garage yeah that's not what concrete's like at all oh okay yeah that's what that's really soupy concrete is like moistened custard rock. Like it's really thick. This is surprisingly thick when you literally walk over it though. It's in a different way though. Like you would sink in concrete. That's how Jesus did his trick.

He filled it up with custard rather than water. Then if you stop moving you just sink into that nasty vanilla paste, right? Yes. And then you have to eat your way out. I remember that experiment from when I was a kid. My teacher was an asshole about it. He got a big bucket full of it and he was slapping it with his hand. Like, oh look at that, see it's not going down, not going down. Hey, Carter, come over here and stand in it for a bit all right

fucking jeans and his shoes trusts his his teacher so he just stepped both feet into it and then just sinks just had shit caked cornstarch and water over the bottom of his feet for the rest of the day he was so pissed at that i don't know why they thought that was an okay thing to do. It was like second hour, too. So it was like six hours. Come here. That's awful. Yeah, I wouldn't want to be part of that. No, concrete's not like that. It's sort of hard to explain, but it's thicker,

but it's not a non... what, a Newtonian liquid. It's not that. It's like quicksand. It's like quicksand. It's like quicksand actually is in the cartoons, I feel like. How long does that take to set?

Like a lot of concrete like that? It depends on how thick it is and how much mass there is there. They always say the Hoover Dam is still curing at the center. Really? Jesus. How can that be true? Don't test me

on this. So anywhere, if it's a thin pad that you're just parking a car on, it could be a couple days and it's pretty much done, and a week and it's all the way done. But if it's something thick, it might not cure all the way through for a while. I wonder if

the Hoover Dam, how thick would that have to be? You know what? They probably asked like resident concrete expert rick taylor uh is it still curing yeah maybe like they were like you heard it here first folks i think there's a i think there's a formula for how much for how long it'll take to cure you know x amount of concrete. Because I've seen it multiple times about how long it's going to be before it is cured. It's not cured now, and it won't be cured for a while. Yeah, I did a very basic Google search,

and they basically just confirmed what you just said. It's still curing. Don't know why, just is. Yeah, it takes a long time. Concrete talk. We've gone from the back end of YouTube, which is a pretty good one. So, yeah, Woody's going to do a fucking do-it-yourself series that involves Dr. Chiz. Totally.

He just confirmed. Dr. Chiz goes to North Carolina and builds a shop with him over the next decade. Dude, you're all... I can do anything. And if you... Yeah, I swear. I feel like I want everyone to think along these lines. If you're out there, don't listen to these naysayers. We can get this done.

We can. We're going to build a shop. We'll outsource the parts of it that I think are not ideal for handyman. Maybe the drywall, right right this is a big thing if we decide to put drywall everywhere fuck you know just whatever get the whole thing done in a weekend for a couple grand instead of doing it yourself like you know dying over it for uh you know for four months or something but yeah we'll outsource parts of it but but we'll do most of it, and it should be awesome. See, it'd be more entertaining, though, if you don't immediately outsource it.

So if you're not like, I can't do drywall, outsource that. Like, I want to see you and Chiz try to do it until there's a breaking point. I'm like, we fucking can't. And then some people come over and do it. Chiz is halfway stuck in the concrete. There's all this crooked drywall overlapping X's and shit.

Chiz takes up smoking next to some drying concrete. You swear that you can smell it in there so you have to dig it up and restart it. I've done drywall before. I think we did. We put something on the wall one time and we used a nail gun to secure it.

I've done small scale drywall. I've done drywall repair, but I've never done like. Oh, I've definitely done drywall repair. Yeah. But it seems like everyone who does construction like this outsources the drywall. There are just people who are awesome at it. Sheathing the outside. And if you're smart, the flooring.

Because that's the worst job in the world. If you've never done flooring on anything bigger than your bathroom, it's a stupid job. Would you get flooring, or would you just get... There's this special kind of paint that we recently just had installed in our garage. And you just put it over the concrete, and it makes it grippy and sticky.

Not sticky, but grippy. And if there's oil spills... Yeah, you sprinkle uh paint sprinkles on it everywhere randomly and shit yeah it's i don't know why i'm sharing quite this much but here i'll create sealant yeah yeah that's that's probably the way to go or i like when it's painted and it's sort of shiny and smooth yeah that's what we just had i don't know what that's called i was trying to get a little bit of a gloss to it but it's now we're talking about shop floor shop floor sealant talk that's what it is check this out so i i was daydreaming a while back and uh for people watching looking at the prices on the left uh don't get too caught up in that i

just chose machines that were about the same size as my machines um i don't really have a ten thousand dollar lathe i'll leave that to kyle his guns. But this is roughly what it's supposed to look like. You've got a 50 by 42 foot building divided down the center. The bottom part in this photo is woodworking stuff. And the top part is automotive. That thing you see in the center is a lift. And that's it in a nutshell. That's pretty at once. This is insane. That would be really in a nutshell. That's pretty advanced.

This is insane. That would be really cool. Yeah. No messing around. Oh, I have to remove the steps. There's steps on there, but there isn't going to be a second floor because we're using scissor trusses

to get a higher ceiling. Oh, scissor trusses. Of course. Yeah. I mean, any other trusses just wouldn't work. I wouldn't trust that. You know what kind of floor you should have? Have you ever seen rich people's garages where they have like the

checkerboard style floor with the fancy cars on it? Yeah. You should put that in. That looks really... that's top drawer stuff. And a fireman's pole. Also very high class. I've thought about that actually. You really did? Yeah. That'd be cool. Yeah. This is how scissor trusses work. If you guys are curious. Push for you guys who aren't watching. And you can see, like, instead of the triangle part, the truss at the top being flat along the bottom

and maybe making a roof, they're angled. And the point is that the lift will be able to lift even like a tall pickup truck like I'd like to have without it hitting the roof. For those of you on the way to work, imagine your standard truss and then like scissors. Yeah. So what's the disadvantage of a flat roof, babe, with a taller ceiling?

So you have a completely flat roof? Or it would be slanted for rain big cube of a building yeah the big cube of the building people don't like that because of the rain drainage you know you've got to do something to figure out how to get slanted at least slightly but yeah I that's not a construction model that's popular around here basically can I make a suggestion? Since you're going to build this thing, add another $4,000 to the mix, and you could have a bunker underneath this thing. Here's what you do. You dig a hole, and you put one of those

connex boxes in the hole. Then you just fill in around the hole, and there's a hole cut in the top. Now you've got a ladder that goes down into the uh wait how big would this be for four grand that couldn't be a very oh no for two grand it's 20 feet long um for i think for like four grand it's 40 feet long it's really big it's a big it's like a shipping container underground yeah yeah people do this all the time like this

is oh normal people do this go on i didn't say anything about normal people do this all the time like this is all normal people do this go on They do do this all the time You can bury a bunch of them and have corridors like passageways between them as you build a whole underground city I heard about these guys in British Columbia who were doing it and they were growing weed underground with this whole underground hydroponics thing. It was Connexbox. They were making a million dollars a week. So now you're making money. If you see an unusual amount of

solar panels on this thing, you'll know I took Kyle's advice. I'm not talking about doing any of that stuff. Definitely not talking about growing weed under the shop. No, don't do that. You'd be using an unusually large amount of power. They'd see it from the sky.

They'd get these helicopters with the FLIR pods and everything. Even underground, would they see that? I don't know. The heat signature. I guess they wouldn't see the heat signature, but you'd be using an unusual amount of power. And, I don't know. But it'd be solar. i'd be off the grid

nah you can't they'll figure it out solar solar's not that good you'd have to have a lot you'd have to have a solar acres of panels all the power my marijuana farm green green i like it all right but no seriously if you i think the idea of a bunker really appeals to me like i think i'm going to do that at some point soon. I've been wanting to do it for a while, but literally, you dig a hole, put that Con-X box in there, and it's thick steel,

and then you outfit the inside of the Con-X box like a Fallout bunker with, I don't know, a cot that folds against the wall when you're not sleeping in it, and MREs and maybe an oxygen system that goes to a pipe upstairs, and shit like that. We could have 100 board games, maybe a tea. I could see Kyle getting so into outfitting this thing People come over. Hey, I'm here to work with Kyle on something

I Can imagine being in the bunker with cheese kicking my ass and risk repeatedly until the point where I don't want to Fuck it. I'll deal with the zombies. This is Yeah, I'm just like connect for anymore with you Chiz That would be really really fucking cool I think I I did my best to campaign to get one one time when we did a video for I did my best to campaign to get one one time. We did a video for the – what was the – it's embarrassing.

I don't remember. What's the show that – it was like How to Survive the Apocalypse. And they were – Preppers, the Preppers show. Yeah, we did a video for the Preppers show. And my first video pitch to them was like – was building one of these bunkers I just described. But they didn't want me to do that. But that's what I wanted. I wanted my own bunker, and I I was gonna build one out in my field so still won't last aerial view if you guys are interested I don't know it shows the lift the wood shop auto shop split that little thing in the top center is where the dust collection and

air compressor goes it has a separate room because they're noisy and awful and this is what we intend to build. That would be really sweet, but now that we're talking about bunkers, I just want to know where the entrance to the bunker would be. I don't even want a bunker. It's the dumbest thing. Here's what you do.

Now, the coolest way, I know where you can get the bulkhead door to a submarine, right? So you could make it so that you move a stone away from the floor, and then you turn a wheel that's in the floor and move it, and then you go down a ladder. But the easiest way would just be a hole with a round pipe big enough

to put the ladder in, and then you've got a ladder that just goes down into a hole that you've got in the top of the connex box now would it be possible to do it from the bottom of the pool so you swim to the bottom of the pool something up there's a i gotta get this in now i accidentally showed my address i don't give a fuck do not write me do not tell me about your emergency situations i don't give a fuck i don't give a fuck yeah I showed my address I know where you live now everybody knows where I live it's so easy to people have known where I live since I started YouTube nothing happens it's not a problem occasionally a fan comes they're fucking delightful I'm nice to them I don't care I don't care you don't know how many people are gonna write me

on reddit like what oh my god I don't care it's not a problem this may be a good way to to move across to a topic of syndicate's new video uh tom i saw that now it's made what's going on with that yeah so he he what do you want to explain sure um so syndicate made a video saying that if anyone stops by his house looking for a selfie or you know some attention or to say that they're big fans or whatever that he doesn't like that that it's disrespectful and he thinks they're fucktards I think that I quoted him right from his Twitter and which I thought was my word no fuck Nards is my word never mind so uh maybe none of them are my – anyway, he says they're fun cards. Yeah, you can have both of them. Who knows?

And then he just – basically, he doesn't want people interrupting him. He says if you're lucky enough to catch him at the mall or on a cruise ship or something like that, that's fine. If you catch him at a gaming event, obviously, he's there to be met and meet and greet and stuff. But do not show up to his house. And it came up last night on my live stream, and Kyle was like, what do you know? Syndicate may have had intrusions on a level that you've never seen. And that kind of resonated in my head, and I think Kyle might be right.

I fussed about online hating before, which I try not to talk about at all. And a lot of guys are like, you know, this guy never lets it bother him. Yeah, he's an amateur. You know, if you need pro getting hated on, like, I don't know anyone who's on my level. Well, there are a few, but very few. And, you know, like, for example, Syndicate. Someone has told me, like, Syndicate never lets haters get to him. Syndicate's been, he's gifted at what he does and nobody hates on him very rarely you

know he that what he's gotten is nothing compared to what i've gotten uh but in terms of popularity he's crushing it and maybe you know and people visiting my house what i get is is nothing compared to what he gets so i would imagine he has it's multifold so obviously he's got a huge channel his age group is different yeah his age group is different that's amazing and uh and and he's in such a densely populated area anyway that there are thousands of his fans within like you know a bike ride a bus ride maybe a walk to his place and it's just like yeah let's go walk down there maybe they're sitting watching his videos like you want to see his house it's fucking huge let's go and i feel like that's what's happening

and i'm sure enough is enough because i bet a lot of people are going i'm sorry i shouldn't waited i've had people visit me and it's a drive they're like yeah i've had people like one guy was 13 hours now he was kind of in the area but he was like you know we were visiting unc as a school which is like an hour from where i used to live and uh and we thought since we were this close we were going to visit you too and like i was very flattered by it but um uh if you have that every day though if you're waking up in the morning about to check woody craft and there's a ring at the door and it's someone wanting a selfie that that wears quite a lot and especially he has that in not only the uk but when he goes over to america as well i imagine you know you get home after all this jet lag the next thing you

know there's someone at the door wanting your autograph well just to say hello it it probably doesn't it doesn't bode well yeah i i imagine for him you know that he is where he is because he's gotten more visitors than i ever have but uh i yeah i i guess it's maybe it's a reasonable thing and a lot of people agreed with him and yeah i think i think really you just got to make it clear you either don't care like what are yourself you're saying you know if people come to your house and you're willing to speak to them that's cool but if you don't just just say i think syndicate may have set a good president here or precedent where he uh he's just being vocal about it just saying look don't come to my house you know if you do i think tucker even

said on twitter as well um that you know if you if you come to their house you're gonna like he's gonna call the police if you know if you stay there for a prolonged amount of time it's effectively stalking and they don't want to do stuff like that but i guess it's got to the point where it's just going to be the first call of action like like with um there's a tremendous divide though right like it i guess what i'm trying to say is you know what syndicate and tucker see is an invasion into their lives but from the fan standpoint they're just like man i really like you i like you so much that i'd love to come see you and uh that's awful that's awful that's so sick that's so sick really yeah if you want to i want to i want to come see you so i'm going to come to where you live i know where you stay now because i went on the internet and figured

it out remember the other day when you were doing that little vlog riding the bus i played it backwards walked through google Earth on a corresponding monitor and now I know. Here I am! Let's get a selfie together. No, you fucking psychopath. Like, no. It's about entertaining you on the internet. And if you want to form some sort of

real life relationship, reach out and establish it. What if you did that to anyone? That's absurd. And I bet if it weren't just kids coming after like guys who play video games if it were like the other way around if if i found some hot chick on the internet and i was like see you in real life i really like what you do and she's like i'm a swimsuit model yeah i like it a lot i'm a huge fan yeah yeah, it doesn't work. It's creepy as fuck. Maybe it comes from someone like Syndicate's fans

are slightly younger in their demographic. They could be as young as 9 or 10 up to 18 to 30. It depends, really. But if they've grown up watching his vlogs and how open he is with his life, they may see him more as a friend than we do.

You guys come from the perspective or also to be obviously being youtubers But as you're older you this wasn't always in your life You weren't always watching someone talk about their daily life in a vlog scenario telling them about their new house How they just got back from a trip you know stuff like that. Maybe these people don't see in the same way It's like oh no yeah, Tom would be cool if I came over. I mean I know him I know everything about his life. I know how tall he is i know you know where he lives everything jump in for a second i'm trying to say this like this divide that i'm talking about that i mentioned a few minutes ago what i'm talking about is the difference between what's in tom's heart and

what's in these people's heart right and and the the thing about them being young ties into that especially that like these guys they just adore him they just like him they only like want to get a little piece of him in their in their cell phone i know it sounds sick and right and for each and for each one of these people for each one of these people this will only ever happen once they'll go to his house get a selfie and that's their experience that's their single experience if tom's getting one of these a day that's his experience 365 times and you know for you it's obviously not wearing on you because you've only gone there once you've only done it once but for him he gets it a lot i guess i bet and i and i don't know but i bet there are people like knocking on his door ringing his bell

like like waiting outside for him to do stuff. And I bet it's children. I bet it's children who are doing it. So you get out there, and they're like, Hey! Hey! We just wanted to see you. You can't be like, fuck off, you little cocksucker. It's a little kid. Yeah, that'd be way harder to deal with if the guy was

like 10 or 11, as opposed to 22 or 24. Drop me off. she's gonna pick me up at five it's like oh i just well i guess come on in like you know no i fucking bus stops that way i see where tom's coming from and i get and and what patrick said was especially like relevant to me like it's this collective experience right you know they see it as this it's my thing he's like oh my god it's every day with this stuff but um i just i also try to put myself in the kids shoes and understand that like for them it's a big moment it's an important thing it's you know and and they only have love in their hearts so yeah but i think tom makes to the valid point there as well that there are events for this. There is events around the world.

There's ones in the UK now, obviously based all around the world and in America also. There are events for this. If you want to go meet your favorite YouTuber, you can. This isn't the problem. The problem is when you're doing it on his time, in his personal space, which he regards as outside of his YouTube presence. Yeah, I'm with him 100% on this. I don't want anybody visiting me in any capacity. I mean, someone came at the driveway the other day to check the water meter,

and my girlfriend's got a handgun ready to roll. I feel your scenario is maybe slightly different. If someone goes to Tom's house, the first thought isn't to grab a gun because in the UK you can't do that. Should be. Whereas – Tom needs guns. Tom needs guns.

You can get air rifles. So I feel like Tom is one of those privileged few in that country who could swing a gun license, if you know what I mean. Okay, so in the UK you can get a gun license, but it needs to be for agriculture reasons. So if you own a big farm and you need to shoot some animals you can get a shotgun license yeah if i'm some i do whatever it takes if i gotta buy myself like a little farm with some sheep on it if i gotta buy myself like a sporting clays range problem is owner of a sporting clays range whatever you can't then just get that gun out that it's not that simple um wait you can't just keep a shotgun in your

house if like you're like i like to hunt you get the form filled out that's horseshit you can't i i mean i'm speaking from the experience my dad is a an avid shooter but of air rifles rather than real guns however he used to go to gun clubs and zoned uh revolvers and loads of different guns as well but more recently there's been a few shootings at these gun clubs and it means that even now i don't think you can bring like a rifle home i believe you have to keep them locked away at a club or a secure location and also if you do have a gun safe at home for an even even for like a shotgun uh you have to have like police supervision so they they have to know it's, you have to have police supervision.

So they have to know it's there. They have to give you a certificate to ensure that it's safe and inaccessible, even if you have an intruder in your house. Inaccessible? So they have to come by and get it out for you? No, no, no. You can get it out yourself, but it's got to be hard. But it has to be hard.

Yeah, it can't just be next to you, ready to go in a safe where it's one key. You get it out. to go in a safe way when it's one key you get out a safe inside a safe Like I imagine the I imagine the bullets would be separate to the gun and it makes it more difficult for you to easily Cause running through the method there, but it's a make it easy for you to just get one out Like also wielding a gun if if if tom comes down to his front door with any kind of weapon in his hand he's going to get arrested because that kid is going to he's going to shoot themselves call the police and then he'll get um arrested for wielding a deadly weapon the laws

are foggy it's the difference between brandishing and wielding and holding all right like at what point does it change i feel like i feel like wielding is just kind of holding it at my side, right? Because I'm just sort of operating it, if you will. It's definitely not in a holster. It's in my hand, away from my body. But I feel like brandishing is when I'm just like, I'm not going to take this shit anymore. Are you?

I've just googled the rules in terms of guns, and here is one of them. It is an offense to fire a gun within 50 feet of a roadway, public footpath or bridgeway and if doing so any man or the public is endangered. It is an offense to carry a loaded gun in a public place without good reason. Any gun may be considered loaded even if the bullets or pellets in the case of an air rifle are in a detached magazine. Rule changes, age limits. Just looking here.

Yeah, exactly. The younger the better. Is that what that's about? 14 is the age. Under 14-year-olds can hold a shotgun certificate, but they cannot hold a firearms license. You know, he's having this house custom built right it's occurred to me that if guns aren't an option lame drawers booby traps booby traps right like

why doesn't his mat drop down or why doesn't he have like a cannonball on a rope by the front door the windows that he's got so he doesn't have, it doesn't seem like he has any blinds or any curtains in his house. But when a flick of a switch, the windows go from transparent to frosted, which is cool. And that is, I guess, a good privacy feature because at any moment he can just turn all his windows

from see-through and transparent, you know, people being able to see through them to you can't see anything. And that may help. That is pretty sweet that's really neat yeah I haven't has he done any like house tour vlogs lately um well lately all one where he did like he was getting flooring months did you see the air right

air right yes so over here we have air rifles that like you can kill a deer with you and you know you can kill really any large game with. Are they like that or is there like a limit? Like are these.22 caliber air rifles? Yes, there is a limit. Let me get up. I don't even know what that is in millimeters. We need new kinds of rifles that we can market to the UK like hydro rifles or something.

It's like a millimeter. My dad has three or four air rifles. He has an old one that he's had for ages. He's got a new one that is much more powerful. I'm just looking on websites now. Would you kill a man with one? Or more importantly, a dog? Kai, you know how if you get a leak in a hydraulic fluid system,

it comes out at such pressure that it can penetrate and cut and stuff? Are you familiar with this? Yeah, I've heard that before, but I've never experienced it. Yeah, there are wounds because it'll inject hydraulic fluid into your body and now you've gone septic

and it's awful. It seems like you could weaponize this concept for people who don't have guns. Just like 5,000 PSI hydraulic air. Yeah, it's supposed to's awful. It seems like we could weaponize this concept for people who don't have guns. Just like 5,000 PSI hydraulic air. Yeah, it's supposed to be awful. Like shark dart. You stab and it fills you up with CO2 gas. Super high

pressure. Shark dart. So you can have an air rifle up to 12? One poke and it's dead. Yeah, also that works with a regular knife. Have you ever seen a real life stabbing? They're way deader, Taylor. You always see people get stabbed 37 times in living.

It's hard to stab somebody to death. I don't think it would be. Once you get like one or two or three in, if it's a decent sized knife, there's not going to be much resistance for the subsequent 34. I don't want to be around stabbing 34 times. I's my learning anything from Game

of Thrones you're supposed to fill a people you feel a true yeah I think it's gonna get caught with your ridiculous you're right nice oh how many people have bought this in the last month in this area one because nobody has shark knives oh is it that maniac who lives in the middle of a field and blows things up in Georgia? It might be that guy. Nobody else has this. I love gadgets like that. Like the one guy, he had a knife.

It was like this big Bowie knife. But it had a revolver on the inside, so you just point the knife and push a button, and it's like bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. It's like, that's awesome. So you could stab somebody and shoot them at the same time. That's wonderful. You've seen that old school, like, brass knuckles revolver knife, right? Yeah, yeah. You hold it like brass knuckles.

You can shoot. Like, it's like you have a barrel just directly out of the cylinder willy-nilly and then a tiny little knife on the end. Yeah, I've seen that. What are the knives that you guys have got recently? Is it the switchblade knives where you, like, flick out the blades? You're not allowed those in the UK. They're illegal.

I've got a CRKT knife that I carry around. What are the little orange knives? I have the Kershaw. It's Kershaw. You have the Leek, I think. Yeah, the Kershaw Leek. I don't know. I carry a bunch of SOG knives.

I could talk about knives. I'm sorry. I should have let you go. I know, right? Taylor's excited. This Pershaw Chive, if you want a knife, this is my favorite. It's a cheap, small knife. I like them tiny.

But, God, I am using this multi-tool all the time. It's what I actually carry in my pocket now. I've shown it before. That's definitely a culture thing, US versus UK. We don't carry knives. We may carry multi-tools, but I don't know anyone who just carries a knife around.

I've bought a credit card. Yeah, that's the kind of thing that people in the UK would carry around, but an actual single knife, nobody does that. That would be strange world yeah but that's different they're stabbing you with like kitchen knives not a knife look at that thing that would be illegal in the uk

yeah we don't think your mic is off Taylor It's not a switchblade. It's just spring assisted. Yeah, this thing is I like spring assisted a lot It just opens right up. I I yeah, I didn't carry knives forever And then suddenly I did and I needed one ten times a day Would you say said it's useless like there's no reason to have this like what am I gonna do? Let me open this box and pretend I'm not a maniac around people. You could punch the box open. Let me get that for you. It's just eating the shit out of my Amazon package.

But once you have it in your pocket, suddenly you need it all the time. There are so many little screws that need to be tightened, so many things. It's every box that needs to be opened. All that like armored packaging, the blister packs that would kill you otherwise. Do you really find Amazon packaging is that difficult? I mean, they make them really simple now. You just pull a tab, like you pull the tab open and then.

I don't have a tab on my Amazon package. Yeah, we don't. When we, in the land of the free where we have knives, they don't put easy open kindergarten tabs on boxes. It is usually the paper tape, which isn't that awful to open. Like you can punch. Yeah, for the bigger parcels, we have that too. But for the smaller things like a book or a DVD or anything,

maybe only a few inches thick, it's like a – like if you manage to get like a net of a piece of cardboard and it's just folded up and there's like a tab that you just pull open, you don't even need a knife. Oh, I have seen that. I think they're called like – That's how Dollar tab that you just pull open. You don't even need a knife. Oh, I have seen that. That's how Dollar Shape Club sends their stuff. Dollar Shape Club, you just rip it right off the top.

No fuss, no muss. Aren't they the greatest? They are. Most of my stuff comes in small boxes. I could open it with a key, but I have a knife on me and it's better. Do you guys not have scissors available to hand? Oh my god,. Do you guys not have scissors available to hand?

Oh my god, you think we don't have scissors? Strictly illegal. So in America, scissors are a very feminine thing. I feel like most men do not have scissors. Scissors are a thing for women, for whatever reason. Women and British people. Women and British people.

I normally get my scissors from our kitchen. If I have a parcel which comes through my front door, I'm already near my kitchen, and then I just pick up the parcel, move it to the kitchen, and then open the books. So let me see if I have that right. You grab scissors, you open them up all the way, and then you wield them like a knife and cut along.

Why do I need a knife? Because it's purpose-built for that. It's better. Well, here in the U.S., we have to register our scissors with a local police department, and they make us keep it somewhere where it's purpose-built for that it's better well you're in the u.s we have to register our scissors with a local police department they make us keep it somewhere where it's not i'm gonna get absolute bollocking on the subreddit if i've got any of this wrong about guns i'm from the uk and i have a gun i have a good relationship with the subreddit now.

They helped me pass to 100,000 karma. And I am quite the accomplished man. How is the secret subreddit? Is it? It's, you know. I imagine it's as good as the, if you ever get Reddit gold, that subreddit. Oh. People announcing they're in the club.

A lot of that. that yeah I haven't really it's not a beautiful subreddit I thought it was going to be like a cool yes club when I when I got given some reddit gold ones I was like holy shit now I mean like the back end of reddit I want to be meeting all these cool people this is all the cool and it was like every other with two dollars so I've got gold and now I'm here and it's like well so via I've got gold, and now I'm here. And it's like, well, so have I. I've got so much gold. I have enough gold to last me another three years, 10 months, and eight days.

You know what's funny? Someone gave me gold when I did an AMA on the PKA Reddit, and I didn't know until right now that it gave you any privileges or anything. I thought it just gave you a little gold next to your name. That's about it. I didn't go to the secret forum. No, it just gave you a little gold next to your name. That's about it. I didn't go to the secret forum. No, it's not very good. There's no reason to go there. There's a couple things that I

like. I can't think of it right now, but there's a few little things that it does. Doesn't it allow you to see every subreddit you subscribe to on the front page? Is that one of the things? See, I've had it for so long I forget what other people don't have living oh a good life yeah gold privilege credit gold yeah I think there's something like that you've

been aaved comment categorize and post save comments you can have friends with benefits that's pretty good the lounge beta test new features I don't know things okay this guy sent me 30 dollars of canadian money today in my uh po box really how much is that converted to a relevant currency i would say it's almost exactly the same as dollars right like it's probably i don't know 28 or something like that about 90 pence yeah but yeah i didn't i i will say this first of all i like their money. It's some sort of plastic so I don't feel like you can crimp it up and ruin it as easily.

It seems to go right back flat. So that's cool. But anyway. Put a little tiny rip in one of the edges. I want to see. It's about 15 pounds. I really can't rip it. But you've got a knife on you.

Why are you trying to rip it with your hands? I'm trying really hard there. Yeah, it's really tough. That's great. So I can't rip it. And he wrote me a letter. So he said, my name is Asher, an 18-year-old fan from Canada. I've been watching your videos since your dual con with XJaws, blah, blah, blah.

He liked the prank phone calls. And since then, he's never missed an episode of pka he has three comments he thinks that chiz would be a great fourth host he thinks he's pulling his weight nicely he doesn't interrupt others mid-sentence which is a huge pet peeve of his uh he thinks that taylor is the best addition to pk since i just like to say fuck that guy which is funny uh because he fucking believed uh my prank phone he believed our prank saying that merker was gone and he said he shed manly tears um he would like us to plan a fan meetup paintball whatever he doesn't care in toronto he said that's where he's he's at and it's the highest

uh population in the country of canada uh higher than atlanta he says here and there's lots to do there and we'd have a great trip anyway as a as a question, um, and I'm going to sort of surmise his question here. He wants to buy a, uh, sort of like a World War II vintage rifle to do some hunting with. I think you should get the Mosin Nagant because they're so cheap and so readily available and you get hunting rounds for those. Um, and you can find a scope rig to put a scope on that. That was your first question. And as far as a new production rifle, Remington 700 is like, I don't know, $500 or $600, and it's the most accurate out-of-the-box hunting rifle in the world. And there's tons and tons of stuff to fit it. So thank you for your $30. That was weird and unexpected.

But yeah, if more of you want to send me just cash fucking money, it's PO Box 102, Carnesville, Georgia Georgia 30521 that's absurd I really appreciate that I don't know what to say Siri what is $30 Canadian in US currency $30 is $30 but I don't think you needed me for that I fucking hate Siri. It doesn't get... Do this. What is the conversion rate between Canadian dollars and US dollars? Why don't we just Google it? No, we don't need to...

Hold on. I want to ask you my way. Convert $30 Canadian to American dollars. $30 is $30. I wish they were all the same. $23.04 US dollars. $ is $30. I wish they were all diseases. Fuck you! Really? 23.04 US dollars. 23.04.

Well, bitch. When I'm beaten by that, I'm talking to Siri, not you. Google, what's the conversion rate between... Oh, I'm already done typing because I'm an adult. Damn it, she's good for that. I'm sure I just asked it wrong. You asked... You're victim blaming yourself it's my fault in this relationship I thought she was

really going to shine right there no no she's much better than she used to be she was never very good do you guys want to see a woman have a baby no I don't I've seen that before.

Is this the one in the car? Yes. Hey, you know what? I'll start it. It's a pretty cool topic. The guy is the hero in this thing. Can we put this on

the page of the show? Totally can. It's kind of like when you see those videos that have a ton of little Can we put this on the page to show? Totally can. I've seen it before. It's kind of like when you see those videos that have a ton of little 13-year-old comments on YouTube where it's like, how to proper mammary examine yourself. And so it's just like semi-good middle-aged tits. And kids are like, oh yeah, I'm getting away with something. It's not even that naughty.

Are you guys ready? It's four minutes. Yep. Ready, set, play. Why are they 45 minutes from the hospital. Yeah, more than 45 minutes. You know that feeling when you have to take a shit really bad and then you both think you're not gonna be anywhere for a while. I imagine this is like the worst incarnation of that feeling. That would be awful.

She's scared. I feel for her, man. Nah, poor planning. What is this, a minivan? I mean, it's not like she knew this was coming. Yeah, that's like a minivan. Yeah, it's captain's chairs. So, yeah, definitely a minivan.

Yeah, it looks like they're already in hit mode. I think maybe it's Toyota or something you don't fast-forward it you're gonna miss the buildup If you're not hearing her screaming pain right now you missed a thing This is Here with her radio on right now to drown her out Who here would turn the radio on right now to drown her out? I have it muted right now.

I don't want to watch this lady scream. I would have some Travis Tritt bumping right now, and it'd just be like, just roll the windows down. Travis Tritt? What does he sing? Anything. Anything is better than this. She's really screaming a lot there. After watching this, I can now say I don't want to have a kid

or be around when mom is... Yeah. This is... You should have had a playlist ready so when the sun came out, you could play like, I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one. And then just think, just turn around and go home. Seriously. I don't know.

Well, they need new flooring in the car. I don't know if they can do it. I feel like these are people who don't know how, like, the reproductive system works. It's coming out! It's coming out! Like, why are you still wearing that safety belt? Why are you still wearing pants? Yeah. These are people who don't know how the reproductive system works. Oh my god, it's coming out! It's coming out! Like, why are you still wearing that safety belt? Why are you still wearing pants? Yeah.

Why are you far from the hospital when you're clearly ready to burst? Like- You have to take my pants off, I'm gonna save these. I think she's- These are my good pants! Yeah, these are my good pants, I'm not letting this little bastard ruin them. She's having a kid in the sea yeah yeah I mean she is pushing right now oh I just noticed they covered the seat they're so clever that was a good move it's ruined I promise you that seat is not safe I promise you that seat is not safe by the- It looks like a towel.

That is not sticking up. She is pumping into it right now. Look at this! Oh, and she had a fucking kid. What? That happened immediately. But I- I would hold it up into the car next to me and go, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I miss it good left to be reporting it though fair enough I mean the guy is so cool here quite missing I reading if he's

crying he's breathing but hold him upside down baby hold him upside down and Pat him on the way so they can be fluid in their lungs which is why he wants to hold him upside down we did it have High five, babe! Isn't there normally like, I mean, when someone goes into labor, normally there's like 12 hours of that or more? It depends on a lot of factors. Does it just happen? It could happen in three minutes or it could happen in, you know, fucking 36 hours.

It depends on how big the baby is and the woman's anatomy and a lot of things. Well, she was probably in labor labor that whole time like yeah the whole time you're in labor doesn't mean that like it's crowning and it's like oh it's coming out oh no like listen hold on just give it a second it's only 30 seconds left that's the line. What do I do? What do I do? You just love him. And they had a baby. I don't know.

Honey, mind if I go in the shale station here and get some out of here? She's like, I need a cigarette. Right? Now, that's great. There's another little dad part we talked over, but he's trying to get a discount out of the birthing center. He has to pay full price. Yeah, I would not pay full price. I'd go to a different doctor or something.

I'd go to urgent care and be like, hey, can you stitch this up? Yeah, there's no way I'd go to the urgent care. We took care of the hard part. Totally. I mean, the van took the brunt of that. Yeah, that seat's ruined. That little blue beach towel is not going to stop that torrential flood. Even Carl the car salesman assassin probably couldn't.

How do you sell a seat like that? You know, well-worn, gone through the full process. You just have to be honest going in that the car either is smelly or it's disgusting. But I've sold disgusting cars before it was just a scenario where the guy didn't give a fuck he was buying a car from his he was an indian guy buying a son for his kid and it was clear that like he was just like it was like he was of the mindset that hey i'm buying my kid a car a car period he's like let's get some transportation for the little guy and then who gives a fuck he's that he didn't care if it was

Flashy he didn't care if it was like a cargo van like literally he was looking at the cheapest things we had the price We get any any like you know it's a hundred degrees and it had no air conditioning And I'm like it's roll-up windows, and I'm like you know what are you gonna? Do it's cheap though right? He's like if you drive fast enough. Yeah through the windows. No AC in Georgia? Atlanta. It was excruciating to be in that car with him because he smelled really bad himself.

But yeah, I remember that still. It was a van. It was like a Ford Astro or something. It was awful. What a good way to start your driving life. I was like, your son's gonna love this. Make his own shagging wagon with a 92 Ford Windstar. Taylor, what was

your first car? My first car was either a 98 or a 99 Honda Accord. It wasn't bad. Then I quickly, after that, I got an 03 or 04 Grand Cherokee. I kept that for a long time. It's nice, too

Yeah, that move my massive house for your first cars like in the UK Your cars are huge. I like how I don't know if you still remember this But how much was the insurance when you first learned when you first passed your test and you got your first car? Oh, I have no idea. I didn't even have my independent insurance My parents just go beyond theirs in the UK. You're talking for like your first car like a 1 liter Tudor really really small like city car go-kart pretty much Dude you can put a 16 yearold dude in a Corvette for like

400 bucks a month. It's not as bad as it is. 400 a month. I was going to say, in the UK, for a one-liter car, you're talking 2,000 pound plus. For a year. 5 grand a year? Do you think that's about right?

That might be about right. I couldn't fit all my shit in those little smart cars. Like a Lugoli and Ice Hodge, there's no way I can cram all that in. I'm talking about a one litre box effectively. But yeah, the price of insurance in the UK is, I think, everybody's opinion is it's very excessive. My high school parking lot was full of big full-size trucks, like super-size trucks, like sports cars, tons of Honda Civics and Accords, and just random bullshit.

Big full-size cars for the most part. I think it's good to have kids in full-size, big-ass boats of cars, SUVs and stuff like that. It seems like they're safer. What did you guys learn to drive in then? Volkswagen GTI. Oh, that's a cool car to learn to drive in. That's the kind of thing that you'd want in the UK, which would cost you an absolute fortune.

I learned to drive in a Jeep Grand Cherokee. You were always driving stuff. I don't know. I had a go-kart when I was five or six, and then a three-wheeler when I was seven, and then a four-wheeler when I was five or six and then like a three-wheeler when I was seven and then like a four-wheeler when I was like 10 and like so I was always driving and then you know on the farm like just driving a pickup truck and driving cars around a lot like I drove a lot from from little and then I'd sit my dad's uh lap a lot those are some of my favorite memories I have no

idea how old I was um uh but I just remember sitting my dad's lap and him let me like drive us to like McDonald's and stuff like that. And that was always really fun. Those were my first on-the-road driving times. And I guess I was like 12, maybe, driving to McDonald's. Well, he was handling the gas and the brake, right? You were just steering?

Because I used to do that, too, with my grandpa behind us with his Silverado when I was little. Probably. I don't remember, though, to be completely honest. I really don't. I definitely remember Silverado when I was little probably probably I don't remember though to be completely honest I really don't I definitely remember driving around when I was 15 like completely on my own and I wasn't supposed to but not too far yeah nothing like what he did didn't what he would go on didn't you drive like long distances without a license or something um yes I thought there's a story yeah we um i had a learner's permit so

what i actually needed was like a someone over 21 and uh i don't know it was a dumb teenage thing but what we did is we we said we had a friend named joe who in real life was actually an inflatable ball and we were like don't worry jo Joe will be there. And yeah, I just drove fucking everywhere all the time. And your parents bought that shit? I don't know if they were. My father worked all the time. So he was just like, he wasn't around to monitor that sort of thing. He would never be.

He only did like high level parenting. You just had to fool mom. Yeah. And mom was. Easy. And she's watching. On a scale from one to ten, how easy was it to get one over and and mom was easy and she's on a scale from one to ten how how easy was it to get one over on your mom see i don't know that i was really getting one over on her let's say you wanted to go out and meet a young lady but it's

a school night and she knows you're supposed to be in bed something like that i think my mother had a decade-long case or multi-decade long case of don't give a shit that's on a level that most people are not familiar with yeah so i don't think that i was really fooling her when i was taking a car out and driving without a license i think she didn't give a fuck i don't think i don't think i was fooling her when i like snuck out of the house and went to parties or whatever so on a scale i got brought home by the police impossible i got brought home by the police fucking drunk off my or whatever. So, on a scale from zero to Mission Impossible. I got brought home by the police fucking drunk off my ass at either 12 or

13 years old, right? That's a free taxi ride, though. I mean, that's pretty clever. It's not like, you know, there's a plausible deniability that this is a kid that requires a level of close supervision. She just didn't have it in her.

And that's where we were. At the time, I bet that was pretty sweet. You're like, all right, well, I'm going to bed, Mom. As you stumble up the stairs. You should really take a look at what he's done and talk to him. I would sneak out after they went to bed and then get home in the morning and stuff. And then there were other things that a lot of parents just wouldn't let their kids do. I had a jet ski as a kid. And we'd just get up at like 4 a.m. and go jet skiing out in the ocean in the inlet and stuff like that.

My daughter's hardly allowed away to camp. She is, of course. When I was your age, I was stealing cars and getting drunk. Yeah, yeah. I killed a man. I had a jet ski. This is, like, my decision-making process at the time that didn't start unless you put fuel in the carburetor.

Like, you had to, like, pop the hood, put gas in it. Oh, we took the spark plugs out. That's what we did. We took the spark plugs out, put a little gas directly in the pistons, put it back together, and then we go jet skiing. And I'm like'm like yeah so i'll just have to make sure oh and it didn't idle that was the other part so this is and it didn't idle so what do we do we go straight for the fucking open ocean right we're out right and um uh it broke somewhere in the inlet i think i fell over or something because this isn't

like today's jet skis where you sit on it this is the standing kind that like the originals and uh something went oh my buddy had an issue and then i was like circling around him at slower speeds or something and i fell over and uh then we were just out there fucking drifting out to sea and this is before school is like it was insane that the shit that I would do on a daily and I'm lucky I am way too lazy to go before in the morning on a school day to go jet ski I used to do that requires a lot of effort I would go surfing before school and stuff like that all the crowds were gone but luckily some fishermen towed us back and uh yeah i did the inlay fishermen towed you back you just legitimately have died yeah some fishermen didn't find you

some early morning fishermen just out there she's a couple like two of us on broken down jet skis that won't start and uh and he towed us back and he didn't have like proper towing stuff we're like holding onto the rope and the jet skis and dragging shit all the way back for a long ways but it was uh yeah i remember like it was it was crazy dangerous that the tide was going let me see it would be going down so the bay was emptying into the ocean at like some speed that no like michael phelps could swim against this tide and um because it's a it's a bay with like trillions i don't know how many gallons but you said he could or he couldn't no way no way no human could swim against this tide

and uh because i don't know if you can picture it but ocean city is an island so behind it there's a bay and when the the the tide goes down the whole bay just like swishes out to the ocean then it does the opposite when it fills so we're in the inlet the like you know gap between a couple of islands just getting sucked out to sea and have you ever been um have you ever seen uh seals on the ocean you've ever been anywhere where they were seals no yeah west coast i've seen i keep seeing all these seen dolphins but not seals. I keep seeing all these videos of seals coming up to people while they're surfing, or they're just in the water in general,

and they're just, like, it seems like wild seals are just friendly to people. They're like puppies or something. They come up and, like, bite on the guy's, like, goggles, and they're like, hey, I'm a seal! Hey, how are you? And the guy's like, oh, you are a seal! And the thing, like, licks his face and then, like, swims away. And it's just like, holy shit, what was that? And he was like, oh, you're our seal and the thing like licks his face and then like swims away

And she's like holy shit. What was that? That's the nicest creature in existence Yeah, any other animal would have killed it. It's dogs of the sea I don't think I would like that at all like they are dogs of the sea But sharks eat those so that would be like in the woods and like a honey covered salmon comes over and is like I wanna hang out, I wanna hang out! Like rubbing all up against you, it's like no there's bears. You fuck. No, smell like me! Why- Why sharks attack surfers? I'm faster than you!

I'm told that's why sharks attack surfers so often. Cause if you can picture a seal, like, you know, big sort of flat bottom and his two little things stuck out, that is the profile that you would get. Like, look against the light, if you're a shark, of a surfer sitting on a surfboard, right? Big flat bottom and his legs. Did you guys see the video of that happening last week, live on TV? Oh, McFanny. He got a minor attack. I feel like that thing's blown out of proportion.

I feel like it bit his cord or whatever that connects his board to his ankle, his leash. And if it had bitten his board, they would have shown it to us by now. So I don't even think it bit his board. So I think the shark got close to him. I think the shark was swimming by,

got caught in the leash, and panicked. That's my own personal theory. What people were saying, actually, was that it was playing with him to see whether that is something he fancied attacking, in the shark's eyes. He was playing with the surfer, and I guess

if the surfer had kicked him in the face or something, he may have bit him, but there was no intention there for the shark to actually attack him. It was more. Not a shark attack at all. When we take to the waters and we jump on top of that eight foot tiger shark with our ice axes, that will be a shark attack. No,

it will not. As a fan of the WCL. And a failed podcast. That was the best possible outcome. Both of these people were in front of Kelly Slater in the rankings. And so one of them was going to get first and one of them was going to get second. Unless there's a shark attack in which place they both got second place points. Nobody won that event.

Really? Yeah. You get 10,000 points for first place, 8,000 for second. I would have given them both nine, right? Like there's 18,000 points. They both get one and a half or whatever. But the rule book states that they both get second. So nobody won.

Fuck you. Kelly Slade has taken it. The shark won. You know what? They should take this as a lesson. You have no business surfing. You should not be out in the shark's domain. That's not a hobby that you should do.

no business surfing. You should not be out in the shark's domain. That's not a hobby that you should do. Just like free hand mountain climbing, cougar massages, whatever else crazy shit people do. What kind of sharks are we allowed to kill? I'm sure there are protected sharks.

So what kind of sharks would I actually be allowed to attack? Sharks, I think. Ones that attack you, I imagine. Actually, I don't think they're as protected as you might fear, and I think the ones that are protected you won't find. Interesting. Well, I mean, enough blood and guts out there in the water, I think we'll find them.

I think we just need to put lots of blood in the water to attract them. Much more likely to get a shark that is okay to kill. Yeah. Because they're not the rare ones. Yeah, I think you can kill bull sharks. There's a lot of those and they're nasty. rare ones yeah i think you can kill bull sharks there's a lot of those and they're nasty those are the ones that they found in the mississippi river that killed a few people like up by st louis like that's a it's quite swim yeah that far into our territory

we're going out into their land and taking the fight to them we'll see how they like it i think you should kill a hammerhead i think the... For some reason I feel like they're rare. I know, I was just looking them up, but... I would see them swimming in those enormous schools though that are horrifying. Oh, be a man, would you? Would you man up in your shark killing? There's like hundreds of them in a huge school just swimming.

Oh, I only want to attack one shark at a time. Oh my god. We thought you were cool. If you want to remain cool in my eyes, you'll kill a school of sharks. A school of sharks. There was... I don't know what... I'm sorry to cut you off.

I don't know what they call a group of sharks. I think it should be called a frenzy. You should kill a frenzy of sharks. Go on. What were you saying? If there were orcascas there would be a pod but i think with sharks it would be a school doesn't sound right but in any case we talked about shooting sharks one time and uh lately you know through chumming them up to the top of the water and you know you always see them come up and bite something and as soon as they do just

and you know machine gun the fucking shark but i don't know what the legality behind that either if it's legal to machine gun a shark i would love to do that but i i don't know what the legality behind that either if it's legal to machine gun a shark i would love to do that but i i don't know if it is i looked it up a shiver of a group of sharks is called a gam a herd a school a shiver or a frenzy which is the one i'm going well look at that a frenzy sharks a shiver of sharks. That's so gay. That one doesn't sound good. If you were trying to kill a school of sharks, whatever you want to call it,

you would probably use more language like that's a lot of fucking sharks. You know, you wouldn't be worrying about using that. How many sharks are there? A shiver! At least three shivers! It's horrible. How far away are they?

Like 27 sharks? So yeah, I was looking at those shark suits. It seems like the shark suit technology has completely passed the shark. And I don't think the shark can catch up. It's not one of those technological races where they have a chance to be like, Oh, these titanium rings, we can't pierce them, go back to the drawing board. I think sharks would fuck unless somebody makes, like, super sharks with lasers or something, but I feel like with one of those suits and with the right hand-to-hand shark weaponry, I could pull this off. I don't see why not.

I feel that's the bit where you make it so your demise is the hand-to-hand shark fighting. Probably not the best. I mean, they're designed to be in the water. As soon as you jump in, you're instantly at a disadvantage. From a boat with a machine gun, though, yeah, you beat the sharks every day. I really want to leap up. I imagine myself leaping on top of the shark. Yeah, and then it spins around, and the shark behind that shark then eats you. I don't think sharks can do that. What do you mean spins around? They absolutely can turn around in the water. Turn? Yeah, and then it spins around and the shark behind that shark then eats you. I don't think sharks can do that. What do you mean spins around?

They absolutely can turn around in the water. Like, turn? Yeah, yeah. I'm sure it can turn, but I don't think it would. I think it would be just terrified. No, it wouldn't. Do you really think a shark is terrified of many things? Let me ask, how often do you think a wild monkey has jumped from the sky onto this thing and stabbed it real good?

Never! Never once ever in the history of existence has a wild monkey man- Which would mean it wouldn't experience that and know that that was scary, right? If they have no emotion about it, then... It's not even emotional. It's not capable of fear. It would say, hey, food just fell right on top of me. What luck. No, it would immediately sense danger. It would be terrified. And I'm made of metal anyway. You can't bite me. No, Steve, I want to address that.

This isn't some invincible plate armor suit. Inside the suit, I know they do, but it's still your soft body in there. It's going to crush the plate mail into your arm, just sever it. You're going to be bleeding all over the place. More sharks are coming. There's no invincible suit i've just i've just linked a video that i googled um i've skipped through it and it does look like it shows something this is an australian man jumping

on a tiger shark for a dare so he is on a boat as we've discussed trying to then jump into the water on top of a shark and you can imagine yourself with whatever weapon you desire. Clearly this guy is drunk so he's Australian, I automatically have an advantage. I hope he gets eaten. Do we want to watch this 50 second video and see how well he jumps on the shark? Sure, I'm queued up at zero. So am I. I'm back at zero.

Ready set play. So this video quality is awful jump on the start alright he appears to be Australian and shirtless and most likely drunk cause yep Australian shirtless but he is... and you don't do this sober it's only a little tiger yeah this wouldn't be on YouTube if that's not that's still a big shock what is your life he was a so to help you on the other part red so there's a shot he's trying to help me

I got it but he's got it but I get out now imagine if he had a weapon with hooks in it so he could attach himself to that shark. Did you see even how that little shark, as soon as he jumped in, that shark was gone. He didn't hit it in the back with an ice axe, did he? And the shark wasn't breaking the water. The second you break the meniscus of that water, that shark is gone and turns around and sees a female. No, he'll be above the water when I attack, that's the thing.

That's not what sharks do. Oh watch the next video Oh watch this link it this video I like this okay hang on this video is outrageous do you guys ever get eaten III stopped it as soon as I saw what was going on let me look at my keyboard here cuz someone else must have already done this watching videos of people getting fucked up by animals is the best. Yeah. I love it. Alright, so I'm cute as zero. Alright. The mad Hueys? Hey, don't get free promotion.

Pretty set. Wait. That's funny, Taylor. Yeah. Get this fucking- He's got a fish with- he's got a cage with- Oh fuck! Explo- Oh! Oh boy! Now that's the kind of shark I wanna jump on. He's got a fish with- he's got a cage with- OOOOH BOY! Now that's the kind of shark I wanna jump on! Like right now! Right now you jump on it!

I just don't think you have to stay on top of that. How do you keep on a shark? You know you can't saddle up a shark like a horse. You're gonna hook into it! I don't know if that- I mean feel free to try and we can record it. It'd be a great YouTube video, but... I would... I want to construct a weapon that would just be for this. Like, I found one the other day that I thought would be pretty good.

It was on Amazon. It was sort of a ninja hook thing. Surely you need like a harpoon. Like a... No, absolutely not. Harpoon is a gun. That's for sissies of the sea. Kyle's more knife guy guy or maybe brass knuckles What is this thing on Amazon apparently that's our that sharks already dead and they're or It's already caught and they're reeling that in oh so it's basically comments ruined it

So it's pissed off, basically. Goddamn comments ruined it. Shouldn't have scrolled down. Oh, yeah, Kyle. If it got to the moment of truth, even if someone was there offering you $3 million, you would not jump on the back of a shark. I would totally jump on the back of that shark.

You're too smart for that. Yeah. No, absolutely. It would be incredible, first of all. It would be hilarious. You're too smart for that. That's where you're wrong. Imagine a hammer.

Imagine the tool I want is like a hammer, but it's about a foot and a half longer, and the end of it is sort of hooked, like the back of the hammer, like the claw, but it's very sharp, and it's a blade. So when I hit, it goes in. Oh, so like the kind of tool that's just enough to annoy a large sea animal. Yeah, yeah.

I want to hook into its flesh near the fin in the back and be able to hang on as he swings away. Yeah, you ride it like one of those things you can buy. I can't remember what they're called, but you hold on to them and you go underwater.

Oh, I know what you're talking about. One of those little submersible things. Kind of like that. But like that, but it's real life. It's about to eat you. Yeah, Kyle, these ice climbing axes seem perfect. This is what you need to attack a shark. Yes! I told you the... I want the ice axe

design, but I want a different blade. I was going to say that doesn't look sharp enough to go straight through. They've got pretty tough hides, don't they? Sharks? Yeah, it's like sandpaper too. Yeah, some of these tools are going to... There's some good shark wrestling weapons right here. I'm thinking maybe I want one in each hand.

As you do. That way maybe I can as we're like going at like 30 fucking miles an hour swimming just with the waves I can like unhook like unhook the right one and continue to attack.

You'd have to be suited up for this. You would need oxygen as well because like Taylor said, the first thing that's going to happen is it's going to go straight down. It's going to go down into the water. With my lung capacity, I could survive for three to five hours submerged if necessary. Kyle, maybe both hands don't have the same thing, right? Maybe one hand is your ice axe hand and your other hand is like your Wolverine hand and you just kind of wow Now all he gets is brass You could borrow Taylor's knife you just punch punch punch

You know get the scissors from your kitchen and We're not using girly weapons here alright and who'd be niggling the e-c- We're not using girly weapons here, alright? You could do that, but I want to make sure that Kyle's mic'd up for this, so that we can hear the immediate change from AHHHHH as he jumps in to OOH GET ME, GET ME, IT'S NOT GOING WELL

IT'S NOT GOING WELL It got away, it got away and there's blood everywhere ABOARD! I would, I would make a bitch out of that shark, he would flee the waters after I jumped in and struck him. I feel like if you hit a shark, even like barehanded, I don't think it would do it. But I feel like if you hit one squarely, it's going to be so shocked and hurt.

Because I feel like predators are like that. He doesn't want to take any damage. I feel like if you hit him, he's going to be freaked out. So sharks are the most lethal killing things in the ocean, that's they're kind of top of the food chain what is about to see how this would go right we you and i were to go into three feet of salt water and wrestle just to see how you do or or you try with an alligator or crocodile the land equivalent you do the same thing in one of those and see what's. That's more dangerous. First of all, I think it would be much easier to do it with a crocodile because they don't have that

strength to open it up. You're telling me that's going to be easier? Yeah, totally. You see rednecks do that all the time. They get in there, they fucking pinch their mouth shut, tape it up, and then they fuck them in the ass if they want to. Anything they want. There's a whole show devoted to these mental retards doing it for a living doing the same concept of those guys aren't right no they're not and they're all

armed too they're all like little shotguns they pop them in the head or 22s yeah i don't like that joke very much yeah shark i would be much i feel like woody is a much deadlier opponent i would rather wrestle my twin than a shark because the person is gonna know like how first of all they're gonna know it's a fight the shark he's eating he's having lunch imagine now imagine this imagine you're at starbucks and i sneak up behind you woody and i hit you in the back of the head with an ice axe. I win that scenario, okay? You do. I don't think I've ever heard anyone be more wrong about anything in my whole life.

I'm so fucking wrong. This is ludicrous. I really think we could fend off an ice axe attack like that at Starbucks. I think you're the one. I love that Kyle pivoted. But I think that a shark can fend off you flailing wildly into the ocean. It'll swim down 45 feet with you attached, best case scenario. I've seen Kyle swim.

Here's my Kyle swimming impression. I would be exhaling on the way down to counteract the pressures of going down an atmosphere like that. And God forbid there's bacteria, like, throwing up down there. If there's any plankton or anything like that, that could cause a problem, yeah. Also if it draws blood, then you have that frenzy of sharks we talked about before, wondering what all this blood is. See, I'm way ahead on all of this. First of all, shark dart, right here on my tactical vest. Second of all,

I'm wearing the shark suit, the really high level one that I showed you on the internet, with the crazy tiny rings and everything that are puncture-proof. Yes, you could get a little crushing involved, but you're not gonna get your arm severed or anything. You'll be all good. And if he's close enough to bite you, you're close enough

to stab him. And one stab and he's dead with a shark dart. No, you're gonna get some severing. Like, have you ever seen those big tubes of bologna at the store? Even if that outer casing was invincible, if you just hit that enough with enough biting force, it would separate that bologna into two pieces while

staying inside that casing. Your arm would still be there. Your arm would still be there, it just wouldn't be connected to anything. You would take the suit off and your arm would still be stuck in the suit. It didn't go well! Second of all, I would kill him with a stabbing motion from the side into the head at any point I wanted if he got that close. And third of all, I would bring some sort of a shark repellent mechanism with me, whether it was electronic or some sort of a pheromone-releasing agent, something like that, that would go run the sharks away in

an emergency. But the core of this thing is getting the shark to the top of the water, leaping on his back, and attacking him with a handheld weapon. And I can do that. Shark skin is four inches thick. Do you think you can stab that once and kill it? This was a generic Google search. Whale sharks. We are doing a day in the life of Jackie, and we are filming the filming.

It's film-ception again. Oh, that's pretty meta. Yeah. And with shirts and everything. Oh, you're both wearing shirts and that shit to your hero. So, uh... Thank you so much. You're welcome.

And I took care of the dog. Thank you. Alright, I think we need to find a shark that's, first of all, that's dead, right? One that's already been caught and killed. And then see, and then I'll be able to test my weaponry on it and prove the theory. killed and then see and then I'll be able to test my weaponry on it and prove it should be much like a Mythbusters episode where we start off with a dummy version then a dead version and then a real version and and look I could totally make a handheld weapon that would totally defeat the shark

here's what I would do imagine this if you will it's about three feet long it's got a handle and sort of a hammer-headed end on it. When you strike the shark, it's basically a gun on the inside. So you strike the shark, and a piston goes back, strikes a primer, which fires a blank cartridge, and that shoots a projectile into the shark. Or it could shoot gas into the shark. You can shoot anything you want into the shark. And I could have a hammer gun, so you hit something with a hammer, and it shoots it. At first, I thought Kyle was joking about his shark And I was just going along with it now. I think that he thinks he could beat up a shark

Yeah, I think he started out as a joke too, but now I think he's bought so much into his own shit that he could do it. You can't put my plan apart! It's too good! You got me eating a heart! All I want to say is, no, the shark will eat you! The shark will eat you! And it's just like, nah, the shark will be eating teeth, because I'm coming for it. The shark's not going to eat when it's going down!

The shark should be able to, you know how they flex mid-body? He'll do one of these things. And turn around and bite me? Yeah. And then as soon as you're bit, the fight will be out of you. You'll be like, ah, fuck. Now I've got're bit the fight will be out of you. You'll be like ah fuck now I've got one arm No, no totally not that'll battle battle these things survived for hundreds of millions of years

Because monkeys can't jump on them from the sky with hammers and kill them no one has ever attacked a shark in this way It's true. It's completely unprepared. Bring it to the table. Now, if you ask me, Kyle, you really think you could defeat a shark swimming along in the water and then just swimming up to it and stabbing him? And I'd say probably not.

I'm going to need a really big spear. Yeah, I'm going to need a really big spear, right? But if I have the element of the surprise, I'm coming from an elevated position. I have the weaponry. I have the suit. And, you know, some people there to hoist me out of the surprise. I'm coming from an elevated position. I have the weaponry. I have the suit. And, you know, some people there to hoist me out of the water when it's time. I don't want to be floundering out there dog paddling for very long.

Because you can't swim in the suit. No, I can't even swim very well. I'm thinking we're going to put some floaties on me, honestly. On the water wings, right? Y'all are about to. Now, stick with me here. Here's why floaties are not a bad idea at all. One, you can't swim in the water. There's a chance I might be attacked by a shark. Here's why floaties are not a bad idea at all.

There's a chance I might be attacked by a shark, in which case... I'm jumping into the water with a lot of gear. Maybe I'm knocked unconscious. Float back to the top. Floaties may be involved, okay? At least some sort of a system where I pull a thing and I, you know, get... Please tell me we're talking about Walmart water wings. You know what I want to see?

You know those, like, buoys? Like, I want a buoy tied around his waist. As soon as he jumps in and he goes under, you can see it, and it'll sit, wiggle around for a bit as Red appears, and then it'll zoot away at 35 miles an hour into the distance and then delve into the depths Yeah, I like to video in the chat, but I think we're idea I think the first thing we got to do do you have an oculus rift by chance you have one of those headsets

Okay, we need to get you one of those we need to get you the shark simulator And we will begin there. We maybe do this underwater, you know? Get a... I don't know how we would put an Oculus Rift underwater, but you know, really get you immersed into the whole idea of being attacked by a shark. He doesn't like salt water. He's not being attacked by a shark.

It irritates his skin. The shark is being attacked by a shark. You're going to be attacked by a shark. No matter how well this goes, you're going to be at least an attempt will be made. Absolutely not. That's so wrong. I'm going to jump in the water. Attack! Sharks going to flee. Any other sharks? They're going to be like, holy shit! Did you see that? Yeah. They're going to flee

as well. That's totally what's going to happen. Can I be here to... I want to film this. Can I be the videographer for this? Because I just want to see this happen. That would be an ideal situation. I just want to watch this from a really nice yacht at least 50 yards away. I can get a zoom lens.

I don't want to watch one of my friends die. So I'm not coming on this trip. We'll go out there with some chicken livers and stuff. Chicken livers. At least give them something that's not pretty good if you fry it up. We can have the chicken liver. Chicken feet.

We roll out there where the sharks are and we just do it. I don't see what could go wrong. I have a whole new topic if we're done with shark talk. We can't drag this out anymore. It's a completely feasible proposition. Okay. Alright. Here's a completely feasible proposition. Okay. All right.

Here's a live leak video. Oh, this is more like it. Now, we're trying to queue up at zero. Best, I can queue up before it hits one second, but it doesn't stop like YouTube does. I'm queued at zero. You'll need your... I'm going to ask... The video is not that long. It's 42 seconds.

Let's be quiet for it because it's super difficult to hear, to understand what the guy is saying. So are you ready? Ready, set, play. There you go, Colin. There you go. Oh, yeah, man, y'all ready to go, man. It's your first time in real life. No play.

You know what I'm saying, man? You got to get caught with it, get caught with that. I don't hang out with you. Spread out. I don't get caught with hit. I got hit. I got hit. I got hit. I got hit. I got hit. I got hit.

I got hit. I got hit. I got hit. I got hit. I got hit. I got hit. I got hit. I got hit.

I got hit. I got hit. I got hit. I got hit. I got hit. I got hit. I got hit. I got hit. I got hit. I got hit. I got hit. I got hit, boy.

They're shooting back. Hey, I got hit, boy. I got hit. Alright. I got hit, boy. I'll say that was the most chilled reaction to being shot. Like, I got hit, boy. That was it. It was like, oh, yeah, I just got hit. It was almost like you got a text, like, oh, I got a text back, yeah.

You know what, if only the government had kept their guns locked in three safes in their home and not easily accessible. It had never gotten those safes open. But he was saying a lot of stuff at the beginning of that video. And he was right. It was quite quiet. Fortunately, there's a person online with a degree in urban ebonics from the University of Phoenix.

And he could translate. He said, yeah, man. You know, man. Straight talk. Real life. No play. Know what I'm talking about? Rather than get caught with... I'd rather get caught with it than get caught without it.

Straight up. Straight up. No play. Real life. Everything big. Fast like. Speed. Unintelligible.

So... Well, he said there is nothing no i said a thing he said i'd rather get caught with it than without it and he's talking about a gun i think and then he got shot without a gun so they fired back they returned fire i don't know if he killed them all i can't co-sign on that one. He shot a neighbor accidentally. It was good that he was cool with it. Yeah, he shot a neighbor perhaps. Yeah, I'm sure he's holding the gun sideways, not using the sights.

Yeah, yeah. Doing that like Soprano shooting where he lunges with the gun on every shot. Yeah. Never understood that. He never learned the job. Like those bad guys in the Western movies. I'd like to see him like by six just hitting targets like a movie star. But anyway, so people were writing on this thing.

And I'll see if I can find my – I was called racist. They're probably pretty reasonable, not racist comments. Here's what the guy wrote. I'm going to read. This is my am I an asshole segment. So you guys can help me out with this. Somebody wrote what I think is the guy speaking

in the beginning is constantly flicking his head to look out for danger. He's constantly on guard. He sees the danger long before the first shot is fired. The culture of violence and poverty stricken areas of this nation is really frightening and disgusting. Imagine not only being in danger of being shot on a daily basis, but being painfully aware of that fact. So much that you're constantly on guard, constantly aware, armed and ready to return fire in a residential neighborhood. This isn't a war zone, yet these people are conditioned to act like it is.

I can't imagine the mental toll of living in such an area. Not only as a street soldier, but as an innocent bystander who must take on people. Holy fuck. So my reply was, and I quoted him, This culture of violence and poverty-stricken area in this nation is really frightening and disgusting. At the risk of looking racist, do you really think this guy is innocent? Your statement makes it sound like the poor fellow just happens to be in the wrong place. I'd bet money he's the sort of guy that makes it the wrong place.

They're shooting him because he's a criminal. Like, in reality, like, all the good citizens of that neighborhood got together, put on some masks, and went to get away. Well, in America... ...in the neighborhood. We're gonna get him this time! No more shit! Come on, man! I can imagine in America that... that shit in the neighborhood. We're gonna get it this time no more shit come on man I can imagine in America that could be the police the police you enough Don't you think this guy was so constantly on alert because he just did like his own drive-by look like alert alert because he just did like his own drive-by like alert I didn't get that part from that either he was sitting there rapping about being an area he was

he was looking from so early but I felt that was more of yeah more to do with what more I while I'm rapping yeah yeah he looked surprised when they came up because he kind of did a quick double take at them yeah I don't think they shot him he didn't I mean do you really you're like yeah man he knew they were coming they shot him people like I don't to. I mean, you're like, yeah, man, he knew they were coming. They shot him. I don't know anyone. Those people are going to shoot at me, and I'm not going to go inside.

Like, what? In terms of being innocent, obviously we don't know the backstory of why they shot him, but from that video, he did nothing wrong. He was just on his porch smoking. I'm just saying, he wasn't sort of like Keanu Reeves, Matrix, like, like, like, something kind of thing. He was out there stone rapping, and then he got fucking shot.

That's how, that's how. So you don't think that this was a retaliatory drive-by shooting or something? Because that was my assumption. Are drive-bys generally random, or are they usually gang-related? I don't know. I thought it was under the impression

they were gang-related. They're always gang-related. No one does drive-bys. I've watched at least one documentary and from that I am now an expert in this field and yes, it was probably gang related. Well then, they were probably two rival gangs, right? Yeah. I just didn't understand

the part where they were saying that he knows danger is coming so he saw it coming way before it happened. He didn't. He saw it coming and he completely hit him. so he saw it coming way before it happened. He didn't. He saw it coming. The bullet hit him. If he saw it coming, if he saw it before it happened, he wouldn't have been shot. He would have been inside the place being shot at. He'd have been like, watch this.

I got him this time. If he'd done that, I'd be like, holy shit. Do you want to watch it again? He stood up for us and knew it was bad news. Do we want to load it up at the point where he gets shot at? It's only 42 seconds. Okay. Then we can watch it again in sync.

Are you guys ready? Yep. Ready? We're gonna watch the full video in sync again. Yeah. Then one second. I need to... Yeah, I need to open it again.

Okay. I'm at zero. Taylor? I am ready to go. Ready, set, play. Oh, I have the volume off. So we're watching him. go ready set play I have the volume of visual so watch yeah he looks he looks with the great

yeah he is kind of looking around he's got stoned and he's got crazy eyes he doesn't crazy is just there's just cars driving past I mentioned if you want to approach like that you may you may watch cars going past. I don't necessarily know that means anything. He did duck before the first shot.

He saw it before it happened. Yeah, they rolled a window down and... You noticed that the other guy's pants were on his knees? Oh yeah. Yeah. They were. You could see his complete boxers. I can't do it boy is that a thing that you see in in the uk very much do people wear their pants too low um so yeah and that's that's a subsect subsect of people called chavs and i knew that word chavs before um is it is it predominantly white people or black people or it's predominantly chavs and what that means, the word chav comes from council houses and

violence. So council housing is what the government gives you if you can't afford to pay your own rent. If you're on the dole or the government give you money basically or they give you enough to live on, that also means you can sometimes get housing, and these housing are council houses owned by the councils, which are part of government. So, yeah, chavs can be anyone. Normally from, again, I'm not stereotyping these black people, but from a poorer background who can't afford their own places. But they're black, white.

I mean, it really doesn't... I wouldn't say there's, like, a big difference or difference or like there's a majority versus a minority, but. Do you think Wings of Redemption would be a chav? No. Had he been born in the correct area? No? No. Wings isn't a chav.

Wings would, if I was to put Wings somewhere in the UK in terms of what he's like. A gypsy. Who he is. He wouldn't be a gypsy because gypsies travel a lot wings seems to be quite happy where he is and you know obviously his whole family's there he didn't want to move move away but living in a in a static home like a almost like in in the uk would be almost like a caravan that is definitely more gypsy culture but i'm thinking like slightly north uk uh in terms of a specific area i have no idea but more rural areas the areas where you could own a truck and it would be normal because you also own a farm and you need that kind of rugged utilitarian vehicle and that also means you're allowed guns and stuff like that so i think that

would fit wings better than london where it's like new york and you have to get an underground train to get anywhere and uh you know guns aren't something you ever see in london so yeah he would definitely be from further north if there was like shooting violence that went down like that in you know somewhere in london or somewhere like that like because i know the cops don't carry guns there. Would those cops have to call in the real bad boys and then wait? Yeah, pretty much. In the UK, most cops will have the big baton things, the things that they flick out and then beat people with.

They'll have pepper spray. They used to have big water cannons, but then they got banned after we bought them. That was a waste of money um when the riots happened but people do get shot in the uk i mean by having guns being illegal just means that the only people that have them are people that were going to shoot people anyway um so shootings do happen in in london not very often maybe one a year to a year maybe um yeah you'd never normally see a gun in london but with the police

if someone's got a gun and you're the police and you turn up to the place and you see he's got a gun yeah you call for backup and that backup brings guns um it's not like you go straight to swat you don't go straight up to the top um you just call backup you are prepared for the situation and then they'll wear armor and everything. The only place you ever do see guns in the UK on police is at airports. So in an M, an officer might have an M4 or something like that strapped to their chest. And I imagine that's for more terrorism reasons than just general public.

But that's the only place you ever see guns in the UK. like terrorism reasons than just general public but that's the only place you ever see guns in the uk do you want to uh go into finishing up talking about uh audible or you want to talk about the thing you just sent me over skype uh but you sent it i'd say we do the ad and then uh the new topic wait did i say something i haven't said anything no No, I'm sorry. I guess Chiz sent it. I was just reading it maybe without, for some reason I thought it was from you. So this episode of PK is being brought to you by Audible.com. Audible includes more than 180,000 audio programs from leading audio book publishers,

broadcasters, entertainers, magazines, and newspaper publishers, also business information providers. So you download and listen anywhere on an iOS device, Android, Kindle, Fire, Windows phone, and over 500 MP3 players. So if you're a fan of reading off your Kindle but reading while driving to work is just too bumpy for you, no problem. WhisperSync for voice lets you switch back and forth between reading the book on a Kindle

or a Kindle app and listening to the audio book without ever losing your place or missing a word. It works with iPhone, Android, and Kindle app and listening to the audiobook without ever losing your place or missing a word. It works with iPhone, Android, and Kindle Fire. Audible is also offering our listeners a free audiobook of your choice and a free 30-day trial membership, so you just go to audible.com

slash pka and choose from over 180,000 downloadable titles. Get your free title now and start listening. It's that easy, so go to audible.com slash pka. That's audible.com slash pka and get started today. So I think it's a, it's pretty easy choice. Uh, we want to recommend the first book of a game of thrones. If you're searching that it's George RR Martins, a song of ice and fire. And the first book, the first title is called a game of thrones. So I want to make sure they have it. I have my own recommendation.

I would start. Oh, I'm sure they have okay drones Yeah, but that should definitely be the first time you guys pick up there Yeah, I've never actually watched or listened to any game of friends or even read the book So that seems well, I'm definitely recommend Game of Thrones is your first audiobook Yeah, I've got a better book good way to get in you want to let us yours to God said ha by Julia Sweeney She's fucking awesome. I've been re-listening to it recently. Yeah.

She was a Saturday Night Live comic for a while. Yeah. And she details her life. She had cancer. Her brother had cancer. And it's only an hour and 48 minutes long, so it's an easy listen to. Like if you just have a good drive or maybe... It's like a long podcast. Yeah. It's like an hour and 48 minutes long, so it's an easy listen to. Like if you just have like a good drive or maybe... It's like a long podcast.

Yeah. It's like an article. Dude, I listened to it on a flight once because it kind of fit. And what happens to me is sometimes I'll want to listen to something like the Da Vinci Code or something. And it's like, all right, that's cool. But it's 37 hours long. Like my entire travel time isn't going to be 37 hours. But I can consume this thing,

and then I don't have, like, whatever, 20 hours of book hanging out the other side. I like the Game of Thrones book, but it's a fucking serious lifestyle commitment. Not a bad choice. It really isn't. But, like, Kyle just stopped. Stopped. He had enough freaking Game of Thrones, and that happens to him. I've stopped intentionally, though.

I stopped where it kind of was. I found a stopping point. In the middle of book four? Not in the middle of book four. It was like eight hours in or something like that. It was sort of catching up with the show, and I finished the show. And I think I'll start it up again. I definitely want to finish it before the next season starts, but it seems like I had a lot of downtime between now and then.

I'm hoping the new book gets released next Christmas. For me, by the end of Game of Thrones, I was kind of powering through it as a measure of discipline because I wanted to finish it. And there was a little bit of enjoyment, too. It's not like a total torture, but, dude, God Said Ha by Julia Sweeney, that's my pick. I have it on my iPhone.

Oh, and by the way, I didn't know that they did that. What was it called? Whisper Sync? whisper sync yeah that's clever that's very clever so i remember years ago i was listening to this uh thing it was about piracy and um you can fight piracy all you want but what you really need to do is provide a better product than the pirates do if you just want to sell the exact same thing it is difficult to compete with free but when i was listening to the game of thrones stuff i really wished wished i had something like whisper sync like i would rather have read it you know while i was like waiting for the contractor sitting in the guest house i would have loved to have read the book but instead it's audio and it's just like not occupying me completely if you can read a chapter and then it picks up the audio version while you're driving

and then you go home and you read a chapter or half a chapter, it just picks it up from there, that's outstanding. And I think it's cool that Audible.com built something that is better than the pirated stuff. It makes it worth paying for. So anyway. Well, check them out. We're offering you basically a book of your choice for free here audible audible.com slash pka make it happen uh we'll see what kind of numbers we

can show to them they're a new sponsor and i hope they hope they like us someone on the subreddit get back to me god said ha by julia sweeney tell me if i did you wrong you'll it's also say if you hate it because you'll get more replies that way because people will hate it out of spite oh there's a i don't want to ruin it there's there's parts in there or that are hilarious to me and and the author reads it herself which i also think is kind of cool so but she's snl actress so she's qualified to do so. She makes me want to write a book. I wonder what it takes to write. I listen to her story of her life and her telling it and how funny she does it.

And I'm like, man, that's what I want to be when I grow up. She's like a professional stand-up comedian, though. She's written comedy and performed. I mean, she's like a top-level comedian. She is. If it's an hour and 40 minutes to listen to, that's not, like, a book so much as, like, a short story. It's like a memoir, Aura.

It's a memoir may be the best word for it. She covers her life and her brother's life and stuff like that. Sounds like she's just doing her stand-up act on tape. Dude, it's fucking awesome. It's really good. I like Tina Fey's book, too, but I think I like Julia S, it's fucking awesome. It's really good. I like Tina Fey's book too, but I think I like Julia Sweeney's even more. And I don't know how long Tina Fey's book is.

I imagine writing a book is a long process, but it's the kind of thing that would be like a retirement project. I can imagine retiring and then writing a book about my life. You know, you're not going to publish it, but you make a few copies for yourself and family and it's a cool way for people to remember you. Tina Fey's booky pants which i also liked a lot and it was really good but i've been like somehow this is what the deal is i bought julius weenie's book and somehow it's mixed in in my shuffle so every so often i listen to a new chapter again it's so fucking funny that's why i'm telling you guys about it and um uh and i don't know how it got mixed in i swear i didn't pirate it but that's happens i don't know it happened though so um

uh anyway it's flipping hilarious and uh and i'm enjoying it so so check out julius weenie's god said ha it's awesome at audible.com so did we say something i cut you off yeah she has linked me to that shooting so i guess there's a shooting in louisiana at a uh a theater um looks like a in johnston louisiana maybe i think i'm reading that right six people shot one's dead so far with the information i've got shooters yeah oh just to make sure there's a link on the side, like an annotation, and in the description for audible.com. Go through the slash PKA thing so that it inspires them to re-up with us again. We like them. Hopefully they like us.

All right, carry on. So there's a shooting. Six people shot, one dead confirmed so far. They've got the shooter. It was an older white guy, it said. And I think that's all I know right now. So that's a fucking shame. How many shootings a year is there in the US?

Fewer than there used to be. Yeah, it's going down all the time. It's not that many. I don't know. Maybe there might be like eight that we hear about this a year, maybe. Yeah. Maybe a better way of working something out like that is like shootings per amount of guns in a in a place in a country because in the uk obviously the number would be so much higher because there is really not many legal guns so when a shooting happens

that may be like you know what i know the numbers like one in three thousand guns were used in the shooting whereas in america you know it'd be like one in a million. Yeah, there's like 89 million guns here, aren't there? Like legal guns? No, there's a lot more than that. It depends. It depends on... I was trying to answer Patrick's question from a few seconds ago. This is the gun shooting.

I always see this chart from like the 80s. I never see it from like 100 years ago. Yeah, this is interesting going from 1900 all the 80s. I never see it from like a hundred years ago. This is interesting going from 1900. Yeah, I feel like, so we're back down the 1960s levels, but the way I see it is always like chopped off. Here I'll chop it off for our audience. It's not working. Yeah, I always see the the rate to look something like this. Wait, wait, and if you guys can't tell, I just took it from, like, whatever, the peak of it and showed the decline. That's how I always see it. That's the gun rate.

But when you see the whole thing, you're like, oh, look at this. So it looks like, is that prohibitions, 1920s? Or maybe that's post-prohibition? That's prohibition. And it peaks in 1930. Is that when it ends? It ended in, like, 33, I think, didn't it? 1932 or 1933.

Okay, well, thank you. I didn't know that. Or I'd forgotten that because I'm that old. For the walk in fire. There's spikes again around World War II as well, which is, I guess, expected. Oh, a PTSD thing, you think? Maybe people just wanting to be safe because there's a World War going on. It's probably a thing where millions of American men were armed and trained to shoot guns yeah that's a thing i feel like so i don't gosh i don't you used to bring

that shit home like after the war my experience here but yeah when you live in a war environment for a while yeah do you bring your guns on this i think they still do that in one of the nordic countries but finland maybe anyway um uh you're at war you're like killing people it's okay there's hardly any rules then you come back in america and all of a sudden there's rules against jaywalking and it's it's like a whole new sort of like you know what i kind of figured out there really aren't any fucking rules like are you see fargo yeah you know especially the tv series he's like here's where you're wrong you think there's rules there aren't actually any rules in life.

And he kills a cop or something. So I wonder if that's what happens. You just get a million Americans coming back from World War II. I don't think that was it. I really just think it's like you arm a million American guys. Sure, they go through some hard stuff and some of them have issues that come back and they're dangerous. But I think most of those guys are probably committing suicide. That's what we see with modern statistics, that the suicide rate's really high with guys

who have went through crazy shit like that, with the PTSD and stuff. All those guys at Omaha Beach, just name a battle of World War II that wasn't horrific. Although, they were saying the other day that the time spent in battle from Vietnam compared with World War II, it's night and day.

They spent so much more time actually in the shit fighting, in combat in Vietnam than those World War II guys ever did. It's huge amounts of time actually in the bush fighting. I wonder if they measured it differently. Is all your time

in the bush fighting, whereas in war ii you're in there's a lot of time in bunkers and stuff right you know i think it was time spent engaging the enemy like actually out in enemy territory engaging them because like because the way we're just you're moving around much larger spaces right so you spend a lot of time actually traveling and and i i don't know much about the Vietnam War but in World War 2 in World War 2 you were much more defense you were defending and I guess if you guys were

doing something in Vietnam maybe you were slightly more attacking I'm not sure because you were in Vietnam whereas you came over to Europe to help defend the UK and different countries. Yeah, we saved you.

Oh, you know. I think the part of it was just a bunch of guys are coming back armed and they know how to use guns. I don't know what the actual rules were, but I hear this story repeated time and time again where guys came back from World War II

with whatever they wanted from the European or Pacific theater maybe they got a Japanese guy's arm maybe they've got I'm not even ready maybe they got a guy's arm that happened, gold teeth, hand grenades machine guns from the enemy

if you're walking through a battlefield you just pick up whatever you want and bring it back on the boat it seems like these days they're checking your chest or your luggage to make sure you're not bringing anything crazy back. Then it was like, alright boys, hop on the boat, we're going home. I don't care what the fuck you bring, we just killed 8 million people. It didn't matter. There's still great grandparents out there with probably 20 or 30 pounds of legit Nazi stuff.

Like, oh, pulled this right off of one of the SS. And they hold up the Luger, whatever it's called. out there with like probably 20 or 30 pounds of like legit Nazi stuff like oh pull this right off of one of the SS and they hold up the Luger whatever it's quite yeah actual weapons I know I said or that you know hunt World War two weapons and stuff and oftentimes you find some old guys got him in a crate somewhere that he brought back from the war you know Thompson machine guns or even hand grenades that they'll have these old pineapple grenades that have like started leaking stuff out of them. And don't need them anymore.

Yeah, guys, bring back a legit hand grenade. Is it gunpowder? It's high explosive of some kind. It's not gunpowder. Yeah, I don't know how that works. If it's nitroglycerin or what. But then if you look again, I don't know why it got so high in the 70s and 80s.

Wasn't that... I don't know why it got so high in the 70s and 80s Wasn't that like I don't know actually I wasn't around fucking knows Heaven I remember that time though. I remember that like murders and stuff on the news were boring as fuck like isn't there any real news? Like oh my god. Yeah, I get in the UK on a corner killing on a movie theater like dude happens in the UK a lot. Killing on a corner, killing on a movie theater, like, dude. I feel like, you know, we make it sound like there's a lot of these shootings. I feel like we really hear about it when six people get shot in a movie theater, and of course,

it's a horrible thing that happened, but I feel like every day, two people get shot everywhere. Like, I feel like, I bet there's a dozen shootings, you know, where in Detroit or Chicago or one of these rough places we're like just two random people got shot maybe they didn't die but they got shot i feel like that happens

every day and we really focus on these mass shootings and you focus on the ones that are going to make the news companies money you know is it a gap get people watching is it is it that white people get shot that's so bad bad, right? But is it a bigger story? It's not just white people, because if it's black people shooting white people, I don't think it's as big of a story. Hmm. I don't know. You know, and it's not even a race thing. Is it people who aren't poor getting shot? Like is that when it becomes a big story? Like, hey!

Night brawl seemed to be the thing, right? Remember that with Jake Gyllenhaal? You remind me? I watched it with you he's the crime reporter zipping around in his sports car like filming the the um you know the the incidents up close and personal selling them to the news well that that was the deal there that the the news editor um renee russo i think is playing or she she's she's like you know if it leads if it bleeds it leads first of all but then like we don't want to see like some poor people dying. Like we want to see white people getting hurt by like inner city people. Like, like, cause that's what, that's what it'll get, like get the people in a frenzy and like, you know, you know, upscale neighborhood watching your television bullets are coming

through from, you know, the bad neighborhoods. That's what people want to see. It's attention goes. It happens, but people only report it when it's like more interesting stories instead of just like, oh, so-and-so shot someone else and it's suspected to be gang-related. Nobody reports that and cares. I just looked it up. As of May, the beginning of May, there were 60 homicides

already in St. Louis alone. It's five months in, but you don't hear about any of it aside from Ferguson just because it's all gang related. There's no peace team. I saw some guy. This was a YouTube so I imagine his stats are

PKA stats, but he seemed to have looked it up and he's like he said that I forget which crime it was. Maybe it was the Ferguson one or something. But he's like, since then, 12,392 black people have been killed by black people. And you don't hear about it at all. But the one that got killed by a cop, we're still protesting about.

And this is a black guy making the video. And he was saying that, like, you know, we need to look inwards. It got real popular on Redditdit because reddit loves that message i follow a few uh guns gun rights groups as you might imagine uh on various social media sites you are one of the most influential gun rights people on the planet the 38th most influential 34th 34th all right yeah um so i uh i notice a lot of times one thing that they'll do is they'll report every incident where somebody used a gun to do good because

they feel like other media only reports when guns are used, you know, misused. And so they report every time a gun is used properly. So it's like, you know, like people getting, all kinds of criminals getting shot. Every day I get two or three tweets about a criminal who's been killed dead in the streets. like constant carjacker shot dead by grandma

What would be liquor store robber gun down in the street by the clerk and it's like video attached if you want it and often The times are just like pow pow pow pow pow you can tell these are like real gun-toting americans they're not just like ah bang there's like yeah they're like oh i've been waiting for this speed holsters on one of the pro-gun arguments patrick is that without guns it's sort of just like a bully thing right like without guns you've got, you've got muscles. And, like, if I'm... Let's pretend I'm mega jacked, right? I'm six foot four. I'm strong as fuck.

I can walk down the street. What's happening? Nothing, I don't think. Although me and Taylor would stab your giant ass. Did two people just lose video for you? It looks like Taylor... Yeah, it crapped out for a second. I just turned it back on.

Yeah, it breaks for me as well. But you can hear me fine. Okay. So let's say I'm jacked as fuck. I'm six foot four, whatever. I walk down the street and I know like I am the law around here, right? Like I could beat up everyone here in the movie theater line. In America, you don't know.

You don't know. Someone could be armed. Someone might have a knife on them. Someone, like, a guy can't just go around thinking that he could pick on a girl. Because if it's Kyle's girl, he'll get shot. My girl's got a gun. A lot of smaller girls have guns. Yeah, and it's kind of like it levels the playing field. Like how tough you are. I gave her my scary ammo that explodes into a bunch of razor blades, too.

How tough you are isn't necessarily related to your biceps around here. Now, I almost kind of like that system. And there's that aspect of it, and then there's the whole, like, well, I don't know how tough they are at all. I can't tell. I can't tell by looking. There could be an unarmed woman who you don't know how tough. You don't know if she's armed. So, you know, be careful.

In the UK, you don't have that. In the UK, you can safely fuck with people. That's not true. That's not true. Come on. I feel like the stabbings are, maybe I'm just misinformed. I thought that Glasgow in

Scotland was the stabbing capital of the world. I thought that Glasgow in Scotland was the stabbing capital of the world. I thought that like three people get stabbed there every Friday night. Stabbings are definitely the way to kill someone in the UK. Aren't there a lot of stabbings?

In 2012, there were 2.7 homicides per 100,000 people. Wait, 2.7 per how many people? There were 2.7 homicides per 100,000 Wait, 2.7 per how many people? 2.7 homicides per 100,000 people in Glasgow, compared to 1.6 per 100,000 in London and a rate of 1.0

across the whole UK worldwide. So it's 2.7 times the average in the UK in Glasgow. Does it compare to us here in the US? Or is that just... According to my chart, we're at like 4.7. That thing I just gave you. We're winning!

In 2007, Glasgow's homicide rate was 4.5. So that was much, much closer. But now it's a lot lower. Yeah, if you're going to get killed in the UK, you're mostly going to get stabbed. Do you know anyone who's been stabbed? No, I don't know anybody who's been stabbed. That would have really made it look funnier if you knew a stabbing.

You could have made it up. Someone who went to the same school as me was part of an armed robbery, and he's now in prison. But it wasn't even a real gun. It was a plastic gun that he showed to. No, it was a fake gun.

So he showed a fake gun in a robbery situation to a pharmacy and said give me all of your drugs he specified which ones had a fake gun i think it was a black cell bb gun or something um obviously the the pharmacist said yep here you go here's all the drugs he then did it to another place as well in in my hometown um and then ran away but got caught because there was cctv and everybody knew who he was because he's a complete and that's a nutcase um as soon as we got yeah but as soon as you saw the footage like when i saw the footage the cctv pictures they released i was like oh yeah that's that's the guy i won't name him what was his disguise describe Describe it, please. I think he was wearing all black tracksuit.

Like a... Is he a jav? I'm just going off the tracksuit. Yes and no. What's on his face? He might have been wearing a balaclava or he was just wearing a cap and the hood over the top

so you couldn't really see his face. The Trayvon Martin. Yeah. He would dress like a jav the hood over the top so you couldn't really see his face. Trayvon Martin. Yeah. But he would be, he would dress like a chav, but he wasn't from a chavvy background. He was from a relatively nice area, but he was a self-made chav.

Yeah. I admire that. Well, it wasn't, he wasn't born into it. It was a choice basically. Yeah. He decided to be,

to be like that. Why would you just wear a hat and a hood? If I was going to do something like that, I would go all out like the Joker's villains in Batman or a nun mask from the town. I'd make sure that there was no way you could see me. As soon as you walk in with a gun, people see you.

I feel like I would expose enough skin to show this part down and paint my arms black. Not black face but black arm and maybe around the eyes through the mask like it'd be great if like you have this thing goes down the authorities are searching for an unidentified african-american man and I look over Chipotle down the road like looking for a white man covered in shoe polish. We think we've got 12 hours to catch him before

he can wash all this off. Just be on the lookout. Anybody comes in with weird tan stains to work tomorrow, let us know. I think that'd be the way to go. Or maybe, yeah. I feel like it definitely would because if they're looking for an African American man, I feel like, and they will.

In high school, we were dealing with some sort of substance that when it gets on your skin, it turns it purple. And it takes like two weeks for the for it to go away. So you had to wear these like big gloves and deal with it carefully. And the teacher was like really clear, like do not touch

this stuff. It will ruin your clothes and it will turn your skin purple, you know, experiment, etc. And there were like three people, all of them guys, of course, who stuck their fingers in this fucking shit just to see if it really turned you purple. And it was like the mark of idiocy.

They're like, you did that? You're so stupid! And it was fantastic. They had self-identified themselves as morons. There's a story here of a recent, this this year a heist that was take taking place in the UK now you traditionally see heist in films and I imagine this would happen in America where you walk into a bank you put a gun

at the teller and you say I want all the money they give you all the money you leave these people meticulously planned and picked out £200 million worth, or was that $350 million worth of safety deposit boxes, jewellery, cash, gems, whatever they could get. But they drilled through some huge walls. I'm trying to find some pictures of this thing here. That's the kind of stuff that happens in the UK. Here's, Jesus, if you type in UK Bankrise 2015 onto

this is the picture of the wall they drilled through. It's insane. Holy smokes. They did this at night whilst there was security guards patrolling above ground without being noticed at all. They have now been found, actually,

the people who did it. They caught them? I'm almost disappointed they caught them after a few months like they got away everything but here's a good picture

but this was like a huge huge heist this is like the equivalent of film level stuff where they stole like i said 200 million pounds worth of jewels diamonds uh in the center of london without being noticed uh turns out it may have been an inside job but yeah so this picture here shows they hid inside the office before dreading into the lift shaft they abseiled down the lift shaft they disabled

the alarms on them on the main door of the vault, then cut through the 18-inch thick reinforced metal door. Undisturbed, over an Easter weekend holiday, like a three-day weekend, they broke into approximately 80 deposit boxes and stole £200 million worth of stuff. So they had a whole weekend. They weren't even rushing.

They were relaxed about this. This isn't like a payday mission where you have to do it in 10 minutes. They were... They spent a whole entire weekend just picking out what they wanted. Yeah, they had tea and crumpets in there. They brought an Xbox. Yeah, they were having a picnic. It was a jolly old time.

And they didn't get caught. Nobody noticed until a few months later. You know what my favorite thing about those British, or I guess UK, heist movies like Rock and Roll and Snatch and stuff is how everything is with hand-to-hand weapons like clubs, and when one of them does stumble ass-backwards into a gun, it's just like, Oi, mate, I don't know what I'm doing.

It's like, you can't fucking figure this out. Haven't you watched enough American TV? If I gave you a semi-automatic pistol right now, Patrick, could you figure it out, you think? Or would you be kind of? So you know safety you would pull back the bit on the top and then you'd pull the trigger you squeeze the trigger You don't pull the trigger right? That's pretty much right. Yeah. Yeah, I've shot air rifles and My does explain this stuff to me, so I think I've got a good idea

But I know if you gave me like a fully automatic assault rifle though I guess it's the same concept but I might I might have trouble of like reloading it and stuff like that without being taught how to do that but apart from that I I think I could get away with you know suddenly giant heists sound appealing to me like 200 million pounds you know split that four ways you still got 50 million pounds which is like a hundred and eighty million dollars 180 million. I'm motivated and capable whatever you ready We need a planner Um I feel like our only skills are social media well mine anyway. You've got some other skills

Yeah, get a hashtag rolling out. Yeah, I feel like social media is not a useful skill set in robbing a bank It is not I'll distract the guards Tell them amusing anecdotes. They get a notification on their phone from a tweet and they have to check their phones and you just sneak past. We could.

Offer to follow for follow if they go to the bathroom in 15 minutes. Box for box. Did you see that NASA had that huge announcement today that they found an Earth-like planet within habitable range of a star?

1,200 light years away, though. 1,400 light years away. I heard that and I was very excited about it and then my daughter was like, yeah, you really found a bunch of those. I was like, oh. That's not true at all. No, she totally found...

No, she's wrong. They found a planet that is the correct size and the correct distance from its star. It was just about 15% of the size of the Earth, the size of the Sun, and the distance between them. Which is pretty close. Yeah, it's very close.

But it's 1,400 light years away. Well, I was reading today, they were doing the math on how long it would take to get there. If you could travel it, I don't remember if it was 95% or 99% the speed of light. And I mentioned time dilation earlier because I've been reading that. And so the faster you go, the slower you experience time. So at that rate, it would still take, like, i don't remember the number but i think they said something like uh it was much less it wasn't 1400 it was 50 or 100 years or something like that yeah but still and you know maybe maybe some sort of wormhole could be used we could we could use

something like that i don't think there's any reason to say ah 1400 light years away we'll never get there there's never been a time in human history where we were standing there and we're like, oh, we can't get up there. And then 100 years later we're there. All we need is the Russians to say they're going and the Americans will get there first. That's right, bitch. And the British will claim some small victory. We just need the Russians on top.

We help them move into the new facility they used to build this thing. The Canadians in the UK people will just co-opt our success. Like, hey, we're pretty good buddies with that guy. We're the friend with the pool. And you guys kind of pretend to be the party too. I think it was Mr. I Tryhard. I built the diving board.

Mr. I Tryhard was saying that Canada built the arm in the space shuttle, that thing that grabs things. And he's like, so really, we did it too. You mean the thing that extends off of the thing that we built? We could offer catering services, tea and scones. Oh, that legendary UK food.

I was going to say something, I couldn't phrase it right. So yeah, that's really cool. I thought that was neat. I think that's the first time they've found a planet quite so potentially habitable as that. And 1,400 light years is an infinitely large

distance away. Light travels at 186,000 miles per second. So you've really got to start doing the math in your head to realize how far away that is. But still, you know, we see it. It's unimaginable. It's possible. That's the cool thing is that theoretically there is more like us or more like something like us that's intelligent enough to develop is pretty astounding.

It's really cool. But at the same time, it's almost like a tease. It's pretty astounding. It's really cool, but at the same time, it's almost like a tease. Like if you knew there was an invincible box with a billion dollars in it, but it was located in the center of the Earth. It's like, well, you know, it's neat that it's there. Oh, it's passing by right now. There's a platinum asteroid passing by. Yeah, I think it's worth like trillions or something.

I'm learning more about this. Wait, what? It appears this is the most habitable planet that we've ever seen. That Kepler-186f was the most Earth-like, according to NASA, but not anymore. That thing was 10 times bigger than Earth and only 500 light years away. This thing is 60% larger than Earth, so less than twice as large. And is it 64 million miles away? That's really far but it's

much harder like 64 million light years oh there's 1,400 light you know that means it miles I'm sorry I'm getting my own my measurements but we apparently we took a vantage point 64 miles from Earth we we must have spotted it from something but anyway 1,400 light years away compared to 500, three times further. But it's the most habitable we've seen so far. Now there's a thing, though. NASA kind of

lies. They want to make things exciting and fun, right? They're showing a picture of this. I'm going to show you guys the picture. I don't know. Are we all on this CNN page? Yeah. They do exaggerate stuff to get funding. They'll be like, simulated image, and there's like an alien waving

at us. Yeah. Oh my god, we gotta get there. Look at this thing, right? Like, here it is next to Earth, right? You can see it's bigger than Earth, but it has an atmosphere that even kind of looks Earth-like. There's a bunch of oceans being shown and stuff like that. Dude, this picture we have of this planet,

1,400 light years away, is better than the picture we have of Pluto. Until recently. What's the hardest rendering of something about the same size? That's what I'm saying. NASA's a bunch of lies. I think all they know is that it exists, and they're making some assumptions

based on its orbit. Though NASA can't say for sure whether the planet is rocky like ours or has water or air, it's the closest match yet found. I mean, it says it in the first paragraph. They had to draw something. It could just be a black ball. Also, it's quite subjective, the idea of

closest to Earth, because you can have a car that's closest to a drivable car, but it's still not drivable. You still can't go there. You still can't do anything with it. The idea of having something that's close to Earth doesn't – it's only like a way to make it into something that most people understand. Isn't there a moon that goes around? Is it Saturn? Is it Titan or something? That Jupiter's moon, maybe?

I don't know. But they think that that thing will have life on it? Yeah, like Europa? Yeah, yeah, Europa. That's Jupiter. If we're near, thank you, if we're near Pluto, we could totally get near Europa.

Why don't we send a probe to it? We're really far from Jupiter now. It's not like we could follow us. It's millions of miles from there now. Because it's Jupiter and then Uranus, then Neptune and Pluto. How far are we from Pluto? Well, they're right there. When you say we, do you mean us right now?

No. I mean the thing that's taking images of Pluto. Is it 8,000 miles away or something? That thing was like right at Pluto like it passed by like it was there So and it's using the way it got there's you know Yeah, it has to spin around the earth doesn't it remembers what the thing is called the trajectory. I can't remember what? Crafts name wait. It's not coming back. Is it I thought we just kind of fired it straight out there. There's no way it's coming back. I thought that's what you were saying for a second.

No, it's the idea that it goes around the Earth or goes around something, orbits it, and then fires off in a certain direction, and then it goes past what you want, and then it keeps going because there's no way to turn on the thrusters to bring it back. If you think about the math involved with getting that thing to Pluto, they had it within a minute,

from what I understand the calculations, like it arrived there about a minute before they thought it would. And they shot that thing years and years ago. You know, that's an incredible long shot. But yeah, it's nowhere near Jupiter. Although I think they have missions planned to go to Europa.

It was shot by a British camera called Ralph, which is a very British name to call a camera that shot Pluto. It's called New Horizons, and it went within 6,000 miles of Pluto. I thought I read that it was 8,000 miles from Pluto, which is pretty good. But I guess I'm saying, if we got that close to Pluto, we should totally

be checking out Europa. We should land a thing on Europa like we did Mars. That seems like it's within our capability. How long would that take? Like 20 years? The Mars thing? No, to get it to Europa. I don't know. A long time. Also, just a bit

of... The pictures taken by this thing that was a NASA project was from the UK. It was a British-based technology company. So we just like to take credit for the photos taken of pluto there uh even though nasa funded it and built it let me see these pictures from you we made the picture i said i was gonna say shitty brit camera and i said camera i was gonna brag like i don't know i've taken some better pictures than this but I think like Japanese my Samsung does a way better job what is canon is that a US

company Japanese I don't know what I'm bragging about okay so it takes 13 months to get it takes 13 months to get to Jupiter oh really that's not bad at all at what speed, though? At our speed. At the speed we fly shit at. It's about 30,000 miles an hour, I think. That's crazy.

Imagine how pissed they would be if you noticed just a few minutes after you launched this $3 billion project that there was a tiny little mistake in the math. And they're like, oh, well, fuck. Now it's going to run into... Those guys are so smart,

they would just use the gravity of some other space body to slow it down or speed it up as needed, though. You think they could do that? Yeah, that's what they did with Apollo 13. That whole thing wasn't planned to go down that way. No, it wasn't. These NASA guys are smart. They are smart.

But the Europa thing would be cool. If you want to see kind of a pretty good sci-fi movie, it's not A-class, but it's definitely B-class. It's the Europa Report, and it's about a modern-esque NASA mission to go to Europa, this icy moon of Jupiter, which does, in in fact have warm liquid ocean beneath the ice exterior.

We know that now. They land and the idea is to put a submersible down there, see what's going on. Neil deGrasse Tyson has talked about that before and I've heard NASA say that they have plans to do something very similar to that. So Europa report is really cool. Is it scary? Yeah, it's scary it's not like a cheesy horror movie but it's like you know the dangers of space are very scary and very real you

know in star trek it feels like i don't know they're they're in space but it's not dangerous space like they'll always they can always warp you back in or something and somebody will fly in and wharf will just go out there and tie a tourniquet to his space suit and it'll be all good yeah but in this safety net like is it warping is that what no it's not warping what is the thing yeah yeah that's the transporters right but but like in this it's like I don't know if a space rock hits you or if like you open a door and it the cabin depressurizes and there's that sudden rush of air against you you you just float off to die. There's rough stuff like that going on.

They've been on the journey to get there for, I don't remember how long it was in the movie, but it's months and months and months. Then they get there and more stuff ensues. It's a good movie. What's the Matt Damon movie that's coming out? Is it Gravity? Matt Damon. The astronaut is coming out.

The Martian. The Martian. The Martian. That's what it's called. Oh, the Martian. That's coming out in theaters at some point soon, I think. That looks like it's going to be really good. I'm excited for that. Man, I was just thinking about that. Just floating. If you made a mistake

opening a hatch on a space shuttle and you're just flying through disoriented, spinning. Picture a worse way to die. Can you think of anything worse than that? And you can't start adding stuff up. First you cut your fingers off and then you get stabbed and then you burn a little bit.

There's a lot of bad deaths. The worst part about that is you're not just floating away like falling into an abyss because it was probably a violent thing that you're probably spinning and you don't have a stop spinning so you're going like head over heels while rotating

while like spinning in a third direction because you're in space there's your gravity you've got x amount of mass and you've been forced into this weird unrecoverable turn if you don't have boosters you just spin probably pass out before you vomiting on yourself until you run out of air I haven't watched this video but it's relevant do you want to watch it

together yeah watch it all right I'll be horrific the video is titled what happens to your body in space without a spacesuit I know you're supposed to exhale all of your air what I know nothing about this topic it ready set play because your blood is gonna boil and your eyes are gonna burst you asked us now you don't you just cut your losses and die without a space suit bad things happen my friends lots of bad things see our bodies depend on earth's atmosphere to survive not just for oxygen the atmosphere protects us from ultraviolet radiation it regulates temperatures and it wraps us in a cocoon of lovely lovely air pressure

In the vacuum of outer space all that protection goes away. The most serious danger is asphyxiation After about 15 seconds your body has used up all the oxygen in your blood and your brain Seconds now you might be thinking I can hold my breath for a solid minute Might work under water or under our atmosphere, but in in outer space there's no outside pressure with no outside pressure air expands it can rupture the tissues in your lungs explode meanwhile the water your body turns into vapor beneath your skin causing the mother of all bloating you'll swell to about twice your normal size your body won't explode like you see in some movies it's got glasses on a world of hurt so does this vacuum make This guy's glasses are awful.

Look at those video effects. That is amazing. realistically you won't live long enough to have to worry about them. Despite all the dangers, if you're rescued within a minute, you'd probably survive. You wouldn't be in good shape, but you'd be alive, and with the first-hand knowledge of why you'd never go into outer space without first dressing up in a nice-looking space suit. For more stories like this, check us out every day at Smithsonian.com. All right, you know what? Space is more habitable than I thought it was I think I thought you were gonna die within three or five seconds from boy

Oh, you would last longer in space than you would with a shark Absolutely not true in space it would be no competition whatsoever Once there's gravity and his large size weren't a factor anymore, I would throw him into a star and... Grab his tail like Mario. Yeah, like a fucking Superman villain.

Throw him into a star. I thought that in space, you would die in three seconds or five seconds or something like that. They say you survive a minute in space and you'd be in bad shape. So I know that you expand from the lack of pressure, right? I had this thought that your eyeballs would be like the first thing to really pop. Yeah, because all of the orifices on your body would just exhale all the air.

I think you'd bleed from all your orifices. just exhale all the air. I think you'd bleed from all your orifices. If Event Horizon has taught me anything, you want to curl into a ball in the fetus position and hold on tight and exhale all the oxygen in your lungs.

No. You would be alive for a minute, but it would be the worst minute to be alive for. You just feel your body just tearing apart, probably. This isn't going to be the next minute to be alive for. You just feel your body just tearing apart probably. This isn't going to be the next PKA Adventures or anything. It's not something you would desire to do, but if it happened, you'd hope you'd be...

If we get a million-dollar Patreon month, we'll all go into space. Kyle thinks he can survive space with his shark. I think I have a video of what happens in zero gravity. Oh, they recorded it with their cell phone pointed at their TV. Let me find a different one. Nice. It's high level YouTube production there.

Space Talk has me interested. I have a telescope. I should. I wonder if I could. How good of a telescope? The kind of one where you can see the pits the pits and craters on the moon or you can just see the moon into your neighbor's house it's a pretty good telescope yeah can you connect a camera to the end of those I know they make

adapters where you can connect dslrs and make it into the longest list lens yes I have the adapter but I haven't connected a camera to it yet. Because that would be cool. The big challenge with that is the tracking. Like if you want to take some long exposure shots, and what people do is they combine like 8,000 shots to like brighten up dark things. But you need something that tracks the stars really, really well.

And mine is better for viewing in the way that it tracks stars than photography. So you could take this a step further and then put an output of HDMI into like an Elgato or something and stream it live. Stargazing live. That's a TV show in the UK but you could do the same thing on Twitch. I wonder if Twitch would let me go with something. I know it's supposed to be gameplay on twitch but obviously you can stretch a little bit like they've said they'd like to have painkiller already several

times and we do pkn every so often and they're completely fine with it um when they say gameplay only i wonder what they really mean like it's not gameplay only but i guess i guess it would come to the point is is the audience watching that still the kind of people that then want to go watch something else on Twitch? Because obviously, at the end of the day, what they care about is an audience that's willing to buy the products and the adverts they sell, which makes their adverts worth money. So if the audience watching Stargazing likes other games, which they probably would if you did the video, then you'd be fine. I don't think anybody's going to watch Stargazing. And part of the problem is it'd be so hard to put on a show. I feel like you have to

be not only an astronomer but you have to be a camera slash telescope operator to really show things off. Because I always notice whenever those guys are setting them up there's like an hour of setup where they're dialing this thing in so they can see this galaxy or that galaxy. If you just

want to look at the moon, that would be fine. But I think if you want to go from the moon to Jupiter, it might take a minute. You have to automate that. It shouldn't take a minute. It should take five seconds as the telescope automatically points. What mine does anyway is you give it three points of reference

like the moon, Jupiter, and Venus or something like that. Now it knows where everything is like you tell it where you are you point at those three things and then you can say all right give me mars and it goes and it goes to mars and it shows it to you and what would be cool is if you could like tie that into twitch somehow like if there was an api for it and it could be like twitch plays Pokemon, but Twitch plays certain planets. And then they could just vote.

Like, alright, 100 people want to see Jupiter and the thing points at Jupiter and you look at that for a minute and they want to see Venus and they want to see some nebula. The neighbor's house. That'd be funny. Paul's living room. Looks like Becky's getting dressed.

She's really growing into her body. That's funny. This 400 power zoom comes in handy when the neighbors leave the blinds open. Time to shave again, Becky. It's like you're in the room with her. Oh, Kyle, you have a video to watch. Yeah.

Oh, I love this movie so much. Wait. Oh, my God. Yeah, it starts at 16 seconds. A scientific video. yeah I love you so much wait oh my god yeah so it's a 60-second scientific do you want to keep you up at 16 seconds who do you yeah or do you want to start from zero I'm 16 Martian air and total recall all right ready set play

yes this is I imagine what everybody imagines would happen if you were thrown out into space. Yeah, so you're gonna see Arnold. So what they've done here is they've started a chain reaction with the alien machine that's melting the ice caps that were buried under the surface and releasing tons of oxygen into the atmosphere. Sort of an alien terraforming device left over from ancient times. But in the meantime, they're stuck in the vacuum of Mars' atmosphere.

It's a very thin atmosphere apparently. And well, yeah, I love the real effects. See there's no CGI there. That's tech. Oh, it just ended. You didn't get to see it come back. Oh, it ended? Oh, that was lame.

Yeah. It's clearly related videos. There's tons of his eyes bulging and his face swelling up and stuff. It's really cool. It's really great. Yeah, what happens is the atmosphere starts forming and then they become completely healthy and fine. Yeah, they're fine afterwards. They don't need any medical care or anything. No, they're fine.

They're dead from that shooting now, it seems. It was under a minute. Three are dead, including the gunman. Seven are injured. It was under a minute. Three are dead, including the gunman. Seven injured. Seven total? It's two minutes ago now. It looks like ten total injured, including the shooter.

This is what CNN is saying. Did you just go to the same link? What are you looking at? CNN Twitter. Three are dead, including the gunman. Seven others injured. That's the latest report.

And Bobby Jindal's saying the most important thing we can do now is pray. Fucking Bobby Jindal. Really? The most important thing? I think I would love it if during this presidential campaign, somebody killed someone while supporting a candidate. Like a crazy person goes into a movie theater with like vote Donald Trump shit all over him.

It's just like, in the name of Trump. And they're just rat-a-tat-tats. A bunch of people out. That would be fantastic. Woody, I feel you're alone on this opinion and I have no input because I'm from the UK, so... Nah! None of that! Yeah, that's not a good idea.

Okay, you Trump lover. I would like to see this on the news 2,500 miles away. I'd prefer not to be there when this happens. Of course, I don't really want this thing to happen, but it's... I feel weird sometimes carrying my gun inside the movie theater because I don't think you're supposed to,

but I do because of crazies like this. You're not supposed to. That's something that you'll... Not even your get-out-of-jail-free card. I have explosives license. It's going to get you out of that if you bring a gun into a theater. Yeah, I got the carry permit. Yeah, misdemeanor problem.

Specifically, you can't bring a gun into a bank if you have a carry permit. You can't bring it into a theater if you have a carry permit. There's specific areas where you're not allowed to bring it. It's different by state, so I can't say what... Sounds like, ooh, not allowed. I can't say what Georgia is. Here, if they sell a ticket and you can't bring a gun, bank and government building. That covers about everything I can think of.

Bar, too. Is he muted for everyone else? He was muted for me. Thank God. I thought it was just me. How about now? Better? Yeah, you're better.

Ah, now, yeah. I said we have shooting ranges at the bank here. You need a new cable, Kyle. I bought a new cable. The new cable doesn't work at all. You plug the new cable in, and you get zero audio. So, okay. I deem that cable no longer your new one. You need

a newer cable. I mean, it was new out of the bag, and like, failed. It just, like, I'll get another one. You can have a yacht, or you can have a new cable, but you can't afford both. I'll get another cable, but it was like, the first one just didn't work, and it just seemed like it wasn't. Yeah, here it is.

This is it. Yeah, right here. This one doesn't work. This is brand new. This doesn't work. Well, then, do you think it could be a problem that's not the cable? Only the cable. It's the cable. Could it be that you didn't plug it in all the way?

Yeah, when you move that thing that's responsible for sound, it plugs into sound. This is the issue. This connection right here is the whole issue that I have with my mic. Mine doesn't do that, does it? Well, Kyle did at the same time. I'm not going to risk any of my audio stuff if I'm not touching it. I got backups

on backups. If that shit goes, bam! It looks like Patrick has the same mic as me. Is that the Shure SM58? No, it's just like my energy drinks, the shitty version, called the Barodynamics XMB500, which was, you know, about $25,

rather than however much one of those is. I hope it sounds okay. For you and your Woody's friend. I don't have a mic hookup in the UK, but feel free to send me mics if you want. No, it sounds good. Yeah, that's good. But yeah, they are good mics though. Nothing wrong with them.

So we were watching that video the other day. I think we were discussing like PKA trip ideas and we watched a video and long story short there's this downhill cart ride thing where you're kind of on like a railroad track but it's just one track instead of two and uh the idea is you go fast and you don't fuck with the brakes it's all downhill on a mountain and this father daughter duo in the front are going way too slow because the dad's being a jerk and the guy in the back is having his experience ruined so long story short he rams the girl kicks in the back of the conscious it was hilarious but they gave me the idea

these downhill like uh... what's the name for what it's like it al-zahraa on the other side or something it was like alpine al-zahraa maybe i'm not going to bring this. Is this like a train car? Imagine your own personal roller coaster. Sort of a roller coaster experience where you have a handbrake and it's down a mountain

with cool views. You guys may have seen this one. This is by Devin Supertramp, but this is what you want to do. These are high-speed luge runs, and that's pretty cool. High-speed luge runs? I want nothing to do with that.

This looks pretty intense. That one guy in the Olympics died from a luge run, right? This isn't the Olympic on ice on skates going down at 200 miles an hour. This is the kind of thing that anybody can go do as an adventure. If they want to die. This isn't just like swimming with sharks or surfing. This isn't an adventure if they want to die this is this is just like swimming with sharks

or surfing this isn't an adventure this is reckless and it should be banned this isn't reckless this is this is tourist fun if you're in new zealand anytime soon no if i go to new zealand i'm gonna walk the path to my door uh you die this is like mario kart for real yeah this is awesome oh you guys are watching it. I would end watch it in sync We can I don't know where you want to start from it is Go karting. I don't just jump right into it like a man. I'm right in yeah, I'm at 45 seconds. It's just We start 45 seconds This is why we watch things in sync you fuckers have no

They just hit a bump and that guy could have tipped. This is why we watch things in sync. You fuckers have no organizational abilities. And the slightest. If I wasn't here, it'd just be a bunch of idiots watching different videos and talking about unrelated topics. Or no topics. Alright, 45 seconds. Let's start from there. Work your magic, Woody.

Alright, 45 seconds. Tell me when you're queued up. I'm ready. Ready, set, play. So this looks really fun. Look, they're going you're queued up. I'm ready. Ready, set, play. So this looks really fun, look, they're going down at a good speed, you know, it's safe enough to where this guy's sitting on, Devin's sitting on the back of one of these with a camera and it's pretty smooth.

See, this looks safer than the initial part where they were going down way too steep. I can't imagine this is much more than like 30 miles an hour. I don't think a t-shirt is the proper gear for this. If I appear in a Devin Super Tramp video, will it make me 22 years old and attractive? Yes. No. No? No, it would not.

But look at that guy, he's bare feet! The fuck are you thinking? So stupid. That woman is wearing the helmet completely wrong. Yeah, these guys are assholes. I hope not. I think this video makes it look a lot more... Fast?

Fast. That guy got air! What are you talking about? I don't think this is as it look a lot more fast Talking about I don't think this is as crazy as it looks But they wouldn't be allowed to do it in t-shirts and shorts and no shoes if it was that crazy I only thing that makes it not crazy is that nobody's fallen because If you fall at a bad spot and you have bare feet and a t-shirt, this is like a go to the hospital, do not pass go, knock like $200. Fucking go and then deal with six months of physical therapy because you deserve it, you idiot.

You shouldn't have been doing that. I can't tell how fast it is. It's slow. I think you're going 13 miles an hour on this thing. Maybe. You guys are happy to shoot guns and fight sharks, but you won't go on a non-powered... Don't bump in with me with these pussies.

This thing is going 13 miles an hour. I'll jog alongside them. This looks pretty safe. Because the video sped up and slowed down. At some points, it gets air. It literally flies, but at some points, they seem to crash and it's like nothing happened yeah we're picturing them going very fast let's queue up at 20 seconds together okay I just linked another one as well which is one of those is

everyone at 20 yeah watch carefully and tell me how fast you think they're going ready set play see at this point, it doesn't look like they're going that fast, but they're speeding up and slowing down the video so much, like Kyle said, it's hard to tell. Yeah, and they're doing all these low to the ground shots. If you pull back on the hand, that's how you break. And all the shots are like four inches off the ground to make things seem faster, and shaky cameras are the rule of the day.

I think if you actually just like saw this or did this, you'd find that it's pretty tame. I think this would be like falling off a skateboard going down a hill. Like you're fast, but you're not any life-threatening danger. I think it's slower than a skateboard. Yeah, and if you pull it backwards, you can

see that's how you brake. Yeah. Yeah, I guess you're right. See, you shouldn't be doing this barefoot. I don't care how slow it is Yeah, I'd agree the best it's a bad idea, but short in the t-shirt doesn't seem to be much definitely have flip-flops She wears the helmet completely incorrectly. Yeah, she's gonna she wears on the back of her head like a yarmulke that you do Wait is it called a yarmulke? It is called a yarmulke. Very culturally in tune, Woody. I grew up in Jersey. I've been to a bat mitzvah and a bar mitzvah.

The guy gets like four inches of air to go over a GoPro. That's not... Those kind of videos are only fun to watch if someone gets hurt. I don't want to watch people do fun things and be like, wow wow i wish i could do that you've been down white water rapids that have bigger bigger drops than this is that not

more dangerous i would argue that's more dangerous and you said that that was i didn't think there was any danger in the white water thing i just feel like that would be more dangerous than this for sure i felt it wasn't much underplayed i felt like the videos made it look like there was nothing and then you know a hundred thousand people said the rapids were lame. And suddenly that became the new reality. The truth is there were two good rapids at the entrance and the exit of the river. And they were both like six or seven foot straight down vertical drops that we navigated without much trouble because the guides were awesome. Chiz fell out of the boat.

Chiz did fall out of the boat. There were drops, but we didn't go down that steep side. He'd always take us down the edge and flip-flop the boat around. It was never that bumpy. The drop where Chiz fell out of the boat was like 7 foot. It was like a

9 foot boat, so it kind of worked, but I could pull up my video on it, maybe. He fell 7 feet? He fell at the bottom also the the GoPro and the cameras you would use for something like that to get like the first-person perspective doesn't give the depth I imagine that was available when you actually did it like looking down that thing and being there you would be like holy shit that's quite a big drop but in a video with a

GoPro it's all over in three seconds and people like well that was that was shit that doesn't doesn't look like a Devin supertramp video where people having crazy fun on something that maybe isn't as adventurous I don't know it's yeah I just didn't think there was much to it and I mean they made us get out that one time because like the rapids were too tough to go through or they are like maybe shallow the boat wouldn't it was low this I felt like it was I felt like it was both, maybe, but I felt like they would have went through it on their own.

It just felt lame to get out and Did you guys have much input in doing that? You had no active part in making that thing go down the rapids? No. What do you mean? We were paddling and shit, but we rode the boat.

Nobody's listening to us. Yeah, I feel if it was just the four of you, like you guys and Chiz or something, and you guys did that same thing, it would be much more fun because... Yeah, I don't want a guide. I want it to be us. Yeah, I think that would be a lot better.

I agree, because the guide has done it many, many times. Not just safely, but perfectly. He would guide that boat into things at the correct angle. It went in perfectly every time. And he wasn't looking for an adventure. He was just trying to get the day over with. You want to see the horror videos where you flip over the top, and one of you has to do Aquaman and swim down and grab the boat.

I wanted people to get launched, and then you know have you know everybody's helping to recover them you know putting paddles out grab my paddle you know that sort of thing whitewater rafting and we should get it going soon like unless it has to be springtime i don't know but i i maybe we get it go on no go ahead i i whatever it is i think in the east coast falls best in the west coast's spring, but I'm not positive. I feel like we should get that cooking really soon.

I'd be down. I'd like to do that. Sounds fun. I'd like to do some hard rapids, though. I want it to be a challenge. I want to be a little afraid. I don't want to die, necessarily, but if I don't fight, I'd like to die. Yeah.

Exactly. I wouldn't want a I'd like to die. Yeah, I... Exactly. I'm totally down with it. I wouldn't want a 13-year-old girl to survive the trip I go on. I can understand that. I'm totally with you, but I've seen you swim, and... There's... The swimming is such a small part of this rafting thing.

We've got life in this song. It is. It is. And we do. I just feel like the swimming is worthless. Are you really that bad of a swimmer? Like, in all honesty with yourself, are you a pretty piss-poor swimmer? And Woody can't judge, because Woody's a very exceptional swimmer. Yeah, I don't think I'm that bad. I can swim the length of a pool in the back. You know? And everything would be fine. The length of a pool in the back? Where am I going?

Am I going to need to swim hundreds of feet? I just don't think I'll show. I could walk to the kitchen. Like, how far am I swimming in this scenario? Like, if I have to swim to shore when I've paddled out on a bodyboard too far, like, no. I'm going to die.

Like, if I have to swim and shore is way over there, a couple hundred yards away, I'm going to really struggle to get there. Really? Yeah. How much swimming do you do? I had a pool growing up and so I know I could swim a couple hundred yards like if it was between swimming a couple hundred yards and death I wouldn't get 50 yards in and be like well fuck it too hard. Like I don't know. I find swimming very tiring. We had a swimming pool. Right now if I were on the beach I'm confident I could swim far enough that I couldn't know. Did you swim along on a swimming pool? We had a swimming pool. Right now, if I were on the beach, I'm confident I could swim far enough that I couldn't see land and swim back. Well, I couldn't do that. I couldn't do that. I've done that a bunch of times. I used to do that with rookies on the beach patrol.

This is back when I was in shape. Just to scare them because you couldn't see land anymore. Why would you do that? It wouldn't even be the swimming. I would be worried about creatures of the deep brushing up against my feet. You're totally right. But somehow, and everyone I know is the same way. When I'm with someone else, I'm not scared of sharks.

The moment I'm alone, sharks are everywhere in my head. I'm just totally fucked. Surfing, swimming doesn't matter. Swimming's worse because surfing I can convince myself that I'll hold my feet up a little bit on the board and that helps my insanity but yeah

it's being alone swimming is scary to me. Well bigger the group the better it is because if there's like five of you it's like alright worst case scenario 20% chance I'm the unlucky one but just you alone it's like I'm what's for dinner like yeah Don't think swimming is gonna pay a big big role in in the rafting ideally we stay in the fucking we didn't paddle either She's to choose ride you about the paddling you didn't do oh there was tons of pet there was tons of times when he was

Just I felt like he was like leading like a kid's group like he was like all right now time to paddle and it's like well what if you like left side forward right side backwards and kyle would be like it was clear didn't matter unnecessary it didn't matter a lot of the times like because like it just he was guiding us in like like he was like he was back there like a rudder with his paddle, guiding the boat where he wanted it to. And it was just like, all right, everybody paddle hard. And it was like, because if we don't, nothing will happen.

Wait, Chiz was doing that? No, he was the guide. No, his guide was doing that. He's like, all right, we're going into a big one. Everybody paddle hard. And then when I say, let me take over, it's just like, I think you got it from here. I mean, I really need it.

I'll paddle and get on this experience but don't try to convince me that my paddling is keeping us all alive right now if you pedal real hard i got peanut butter cookies and they're all boys and girls like it just didn't feel like he needed me to paddle he's rocking the boat it was it was and then i i didn't particularly care for when we stopped and got out of the boat and fucked around and walked to the waterfall and everything. He's like, you walked to the waterfall. I don't really care about all that.

I wanted to do that one. You're like, I didn't care for when we went to the waterfall and then I didn't do it and watched other people go to the waterfall. It was so lame. It wasn't. It wasn't. He walked up a really slippery rock face and there was freezing cold water pouring off of the rock face. From like a hundred feet in the air. And then for part of it you had to walk through the falling water and it was cold.

And then you could get behind it and you're in this secret cave that's all to yourself. Not much of a secret since they're doing tours there. And there's water just pouring down and it's like the loudest thing in the world but you're somehow dry and it's like and it's a neat little thing that you've never had before and then you come out and you re-emerge and everyone's looking at you and you're like oh you don't know i was just in there it was i i enjoyed it and you did not i didn't particularly enjoy that i didn't do it um uh i't know. I've seen shit like that before. I've been underground and seen cool waterfalls that float like that.

And there's a waterfall in Toccoa, Georgia that's like, I don't know, 150, 200 feet tall like that. So, like, I don't know. I didn't want to fuck around with a waterfall. And I certainly didn't want to walk around on that slippery shit up there. That's like a death sentence. Were you a Debbie Downer? I've done stuff like that. I'm not a Debbie Downer.

Like, I'll sit there and, there and let everybody else have their fun. But if I'm being honest about just about any scenario, I'm just like, I don't really enjoy this. I don't want to do that. I agree. That's entirely how he was. He was like, oh, did you like it? Good for you.

I'm glad you did it. And he's not a Downer at all, but he didn't want to do it. Yeah. I was just like, no, I don't want to walk in that waterfall. But've done it too you know i did it in the grand canyon i went under a waterfall like that and i would still argue that this one was just as cool cool waterfall but i wasn't interested in the waterfall i really want like i wanted to be like the river wild what about the one where you i'm sorry well you went in the hole and then like the river like gush you out, and you come down 15 feet later. Did you do that one?

I did it. I felt like that was really lame. I just didn't feel like... The distance from entering the top and exiting the bottom was so short that my arm could be present in one zone, and my leg in the other, I felt like, almost. It was like you'd lower yourself down into this hole in the rock,

and then you go down and swim, and it just kind of comes back up. If I'm going to be doing that, I want it to be like some Huckleberry Finn, Tom Sawyer bullshit where when I swim under this underground tunnel, I come up into a lagoon in the forest that you didn't even know existed back there in a rock face or something. That's not how reality is hidden lagoons like that well they made they were like come on everybody we'll go down through the tunnel and it's like that's not what it was kind of weird because the hole was only like this big

like i think i could have hugged the outer like diameter of the hole and uh and you know you slip in there and it's like dark and and while you know that you're gonna pop out on the other side you can't see it like the water's dark and and you just kind of have to have faith which makes it much more awkward yeah and you wear a life jacket but you can sort of like fight it and stay under and then you pop out the other side i thought it was a cool experience i thought zip lining was much more fun um i mean i'm glad we did the the rafting thing and it was it was okay but i i was looking for more of a scary uh i like things that scare me like and and that didn't scare me at all but the zip lining did scare me in spots there were a few spots with the zip lining

when we were clearing that huge ravine and it was rainy and the wind was blowing from left to right and everybody's acting so casual about what's coming up but i feel like deep down everybody is shitting themselves because it's like you got to travel so fucking far i don't know three or four hundred feet it seems like maybe more and you're like a couple hundred feet up and it's just you're jumping off of a tower and just going off 1500 feet like it was like 1,500 feet. Just believe it. And you're so high off the ground and the cable is wet from the rain, so you go faster.

And I'm curled up into a fucking ball anyway, so sometimes when you're on those things, and I'm going to guess you're going 30 miles an hour, it sounds like woooooo! But then with the rain and curling up in the ball, it was, but you have to. On one hand, I'm terrified of going that fast, and the wind's blowing.

I bet you're going 45, 50 miles an hour. All right, that's the speed. We're going 55 miles an hour top speed, they said, But then you're afraid not to go 55 because you're afraid, what if I run out of juice? What if I run out of gas and I don't make it all the way to the end? Because the end kind of goes up and onto a stand. And if you fall short, you have to roll on your back, grab the cable, and do this number.

And while that's not the hardest thing to do in the world, I remember my girlfriend struggling with it a bit when she had to do it. She had to reel herself in like 40 feet uphill. Like it's, and you're dangling off the edge of a mountain while you do it. So it's some real cliffhanger shit. That I enjoyed. Was that scarier or less scary than the Babadook?

I still haven't finished the Babadook, so I suppose I can't really answer honestly. The part I left off in the Babadook is like right... Are you chipping away at it six minutes at a time before you're too frightened? To be honest, I lost interest because you guys kind of insinuated that it's all in her head and that there's not a monster, that she's losing her mind and there's some symbolism going on there.

So that kind of ruined it for me plus it's right in the middle of a scene where the Babadook is jumping off the ceiling and attacking her the thing I insinuated is not that's not the thing it's not all in her head you should watch it it's really good yeah you should finish it up

I might it really is very scary I thought it was very scary and like I said this part i paused at she's like jumping on the lady while the lady's in bed and like you just got a close-up of the monster's face for the first time which is quite horrifying i thought and your girlfriend that's when she left correct just couldn't handle it turn it off turn it off oh my god and uh and i wasn't in a hurry not to so i was yeah i like that yeah um but yeah i'd like to do something that's that's i don't want anybody to die or anybody get hurt or anything hurt maybe like i have to make it interesting like a manly thing like a manly event one that

you wouldn't take a child along for like like if if if they allow you 13-year-old child, I don't want to do it. And that goes for almost everything. I've gotten to the point where I really hate these PG-13 movies. Everybody keeps talking about why the new Terminators are bad. It's like, well, they stopped making R-rated fucking movies. They suck. They're lame. I want to do adult...

Because they know they're going to make money, right? Hard-R movies don't... I want R adventure it is and blood adrenaline I'm with Kyle I like our rated movies too like it and it's funny that our rated stuff is sometimes the Game of Thrones would not be rated PG or PG maybe it would be PG

13 can you show the boobs oh it would be our definitely no you see you have that box that's right there's a cap on oh yeah um yeah I don't know you can have that fucks and cocks that's right there's a cap on the fucks and cocks um yeah you can have as many

cocks as you want I think thank god but you can only fuck once maybe hit 13 no I'm pretty sure

it's once you can only fuck once only a couple cocks and if there's an actual scene of a literal cock immediately into our territory and they've had a few cocks oh if there's an actual scene of a literal cock immediately into our territory and

they've had a few cocks so oh yeah they have um uh yeah anyway i see r-rated stuff and i get excited about it because it's made for me i did that i have another video topic thing the guy it's a guy talking i picked it out a while ago um what is he talking about he's a dj and he's talking about like class inequality and stuff i if i remember right qualified it was like oh if we watch this for a minute and a half or so it'll spur conversation do you guys want to try it oh jay co and then i would like to make a cup of coffee quickly okay i am cute at 10 all ready is everyone ready yep Taylor, am I eyeballing you? I am ready. Ready, set, play.

If I walk past you on the street in New York City, I could be absolutely positive. I don't know you, I never met you, but I could be absolutely positive. If I walk past you on the street in New York City, when you walk past me, just like you can look at me, I could be sure that whatever you're doing in your work, in your life's work, is for you, and for your benefit only. It's literally for your life, and for your monetary gain, because you got to survive, and you're worried about you, right? So everything you do, whatever your job is, even though you do your voice in New York, you like, you know, for the people, we're still like, your career, you trying to rise in your career, you can look at me walking past you on the street and know it's the same thing. You might not ever know me, but you know,

I know that guy's trying to get it for him. And that's what capitalism teaches us. It's like, it's, it's, it's a every man for himself mentality. It's a, it's a, I got, I gotta be on top for me to be on top. I gotta have a bottom for me to own McDonald's. I gotta have somebody at the bottom working and we got for me to own Any company any business capitalism is like to me. It's like I don't know the alternative I don't even know if it exists I don't think that I don't think we've evolved to something that exists yet, but capitalism is like it's just paid slavery It's the same thing is it's the slate. It's the same set up of slavery only difference was slaves wasn't getting paid But it's the same setup. I own this plantation. It's a bit of an idiot

You know, it's the same thing Except you know, they're paying us which is the core principle of slavery, you know But it's the same yeah, they're not holding us against our will but it's the same. Yeah, it's the same thing like this people involved They're not holding us against our will, but it's the same. Yeah, it's the same thing, like there's people involved. We gotta follow up on King, but it's the same. They didn't make me fuck a big giant guy so our children would be huge, but it's the same. I think this guy's got some good ideas in his heart, but he's pretty ignorant. Are you done listening to him?

Yeah, sure. Yeah. Alright. Yeah! It's not gonna improve from here. We stepped over the minute i guess we'll call um i don't know he has this thing right he's like capitalism's not fair uh there's people on the top they have to step on people at the bottom etc and um i think i talked about this on pkn recently but i had my own analogy i feel like capitalism is more like high school gym sports right it's yeah you went through that last oh was that on pka did it oh well fuck that was what i

was gonna talk i'm sorry no but like like even if of course capitalism isn't fair not fair why is that a a knock against it a hundred percent like how There's no way to make everything fair. It's a trite little thing your parents told you, but life isn't fair. There's no way to equalize everything across the board in every scenario. It's just an easy way to poke a hole in anything that you dislike. That's not fair. Yeah, no shit. I want to be in the NHL. I can't. That's not fair. There's no... Name the top three things you think are keeping you from being an nfl goalie or excuse me number one being of course that doesn't exist

yeah number one thing would just be i didn't work hard enough towards it i would say really number one is that number one is that number or no number one is i just don't think I have what it takes to play at that level. Do you have the body type? Yeah, I'm tall enough for it, and I was good reflexes quick. Now they're moving towards goalies who are mostly like 6'2 plus.

Like there's Ben Bishop who's like 6'8, so they're getting bigger and bigger. See, that seems small to me, and I don't know anything about the sport really. I i've said before i've watched i've been to two games ever so so is the is there like a sweet spot that you want your goalie to be that size because he that's the size of the goal because in my head i feel like you want like a seven foot tall guy who's got that enormous wingspan it can really take up some territory people think but like that does compromise your quickness quite a bit, and these guys can fire

so fast. Surely at 7'4", you wouldn't be able to get down to something quick enough. Yeah, at 7'4". What if you had a sumo wrestler wedged into the... You'd have to be 6'5". Like, there's no way. What if they went sideways? If there's a square this big, those professionals,

they can see it and shoot the puck there at 95, 100 miles an hour. Where the puck's mid-air, and you know how a puck isn't... It's aerodynamically and physically, it's weird. It tumbles oddly sometimes and sort of wobbles as it's spinning. I'm not talking about when it's on the

ice. On the ice, it's flat and it's not going anywhere. A pro will shoot a puck hard and flat. A pro will shoot it if they have the puck flat on the ice when they're shooting and they're not having to deal with the wobbly puck. They'll get it like a flying saucer. Well, I'm talking about in the scenario. I'm specifically talking about in scenarios where I'll see the pucks being juggled.

It's up in the air, and the guy will hit it out of the air into a hole. They have that kind of... And didn't we... I think we found out... No, if he hits it with a stick, it's legal. We saw a headbutt at that time. You can't do that. You should be able to.

That head should be different. There's two ways I know you can score. You can't have your head and your feet flailing around when you have knives on your feet effectively. Of course. The feet don't count. The hands don't count. The head counts. Taylor, help me with this. I know you can hit it with your stick as long as it's below the crossbar. i know you can redirect it with your foot like to say

like if you've got your ice it you know i don't know if i can get this on camera right but you can hit it like that and do that and even intentionally you can't kick it but if you do like like pretending it's pool and you want to be the bumper you can do that that's that's really iffy like if it's a distinct the way they say it is distinct kicking motion. So if you make any effort at all, the ref can see, like, yep, his foot moved in that direction because he saw the puck was coming and he needed to get it over and tap it in the right direction. No goal.

But if, like, you're just in front of the net trying to screen the goalie and they take a slap shot and you shy away and it happens to hit your arm, hand, foot, and then go and then go in that's a goal obviously since you weren't intending for it to go in but yeah biggest reason is because i don't think i'm good enough uh also didn't work hard enough and just it's very difficult why aren't you good enough like so i'm i like to say i'm probably 5 11 something um i i would and I don't think I'd ever have the frame. Like, there's not many people like me in the NHL. If they're as short as I am, 5'11", then they're jacked.

They're like another kind of athlete. Yeah, but you never worked out to be an NHL player. Like, maybe if you had, you could have been. It seems like you sort of framed your body to be a swimmer. Yeah. And those NHL guys, unless you're an enforcer or taking huge shots, like a Tarasenko or a Ovechkin, you're not going to have a giant upper body.

But their lower bodies are just going to be chiseled out of marble. Yeah, because you have to have so much endurance so much quickness and explosive like maybe there are body types like i could have achieved in the nhl it's not too late it is i think that's where we're headed with this it's not too late how old are you what are you you're 42 that's right so you're one year younger than yarmir yager he He still plays. He does well. I wonder if we could drop into the NHL at 42. We need to find a minor league hockey club that will let Woody get on the ice for a period. I used to daydream about that.

So in the NHL, they'd warm up. And I'd sit there and think about how I would do during warmups, whether or not I'd embarrass myself. Just the way they pass to each other is so hard that it would be hard for me. Like it, I don't know. Like you, you've played catch with a baseball, right?

What if while playing catch with the baseball, the other guy threw it at 70 all the fucking time. And you were just like, God, you know, that's, that's practically impolite like even like polite catch is like ah all right I got four seconds of respite

yeah it's that not a PK adventures doing hockey doesn't know that's it doesn't look great you'd have to be good at it to begin with and one you'd have to be good to begin with we could do it in a place where everyone plays like canada right toronto toronto toronto but i don't mean as a i don't mean it's like a group of people coming down like fans i mean you guys just messing around playing it there isn't a ring i won't i think it's not worth it to any rink let me go for a second it's not worth it to any rink. Let me go for a second. It's not worth it to any rink to fly us out there and get, like, 20 people on the ice. And you wouldn't want more than 20. So that's why it's a fail.

Their ice time is fully occupied, and it's a good go. It's not like most sports were, or I guess other sports, was like, hey, football. We don't even have to tackle. We can just bring a ball and play. Baseball, bring a bat, get some Frisbees to stomp on for bases and play. It's like hockey. It's like, all right, bring your $1,200 worth of equipment and your skate stick, all of that, and then we'll try and organize something and pay for a lot of ice time.

So it's really difficult to organize. And Taylor, I don't know. You'd probably play goalie. But for me who would skate out, like I worry there's some headhunter there who wants to prove to me how good he is by just fucking leveling me. All the time. You see that in everything you do as someone who's, like, well-known or popular or famous

or whatever you want to call it. The fan will want to show you that, like, hey, I'm good, too. Let me show you. They want to best you because then they've because then they vested and they think you're gonna like that yeah like i think that's gonna impress you like when even like warm-ups and stuff i remember for goalie like when they're shooting on you in the warm-ups for a game you're looking for them to not go all out just warm up your gloves you're like put pucks in the different

parts of the net but of course there's always that fucking ass who would come in because his girlfriend was at a game and like try and like deke around you and do something in the warm-up so it's like you're scoring on your own goalie in warm-ups ruining his confidence so you can like smirk over at your girlfriend and be like hey did you see what i did i can't do that in a real game but i did it right now and nobody was on me it's fun to hear the goalie's perspective as a guy that skates out um so i just played beer league? We didn't even have practices or anything. That warm-up is my opportunity to practice. Like that deke I'm working on you,

I'm hoping I can get to work on him later. In a game, I'll have maybe one or two scoring opportunities like that all game. If I can get six before the game starts, that's like half a fucking season worth of game experience it is but

when you come in and you deke on the warm-up the other guy behind you the players never think of the guy right behind him that guy that's 15 feet back and when one person dekes and they shoot on you you have to go down and slide to the side then when you're trying to recover the other guys already shooting in the process of it so it's like oh well god damn it now i'm like a step behind on all this for people who don't know what the fuck is a deke it's when like you know in hockey movies where i don't know anything about hockey you know when you're not taking a shot but when they bounce the puck back and forth oh yeah they move from side to side and yeah they try and score on you yeah so moving it from side to side i don't even know if there's a name for

that and a deke would be one that's intended to trick you out like to fake like a juke and a juke yeah yeah like a dummy as it were and uh yeah i i don't know i i haven't played hockey in a couple years i'd like to play again taylor are you playing now you're not right i'm not so why aren't you playing? I am joining a league with a few friends come winter, and then I will be playing again. Not like an actual league, like a men's league. So not like intense or anything. Right. I think I'd like to do the same thing.

I'd like to go out and play just to get physical. Yeah, it's a good way to stay in shape. Like, it really is. It keeps you... Or if you play once a week, to make you aware of what shape you're in yeah it's enough to be really disheartening or like especially if you used to be able to do it like every day of the week to go back out there and be like like i tried to do the splits i think i mentioned this on there because i used to be

able to do that really easy because you'd have to be flexible to be a goalie and I tried the other day I didn't get two feet from the ground for I was like, ah, ah, that's the end. That's all I'm going Yeah, I have the same thing I've played football or soccer a lot and I stopped playing as much now But it's knowing that at one stage you could do something then trying to replicate it and it doesn't work You're like well fuck I now clearly much less less fit i can't run around for 90 minutes um you guys are sure the goal perfectly starting you have decades worth of little things being taken from you one piece at a time you're like yeah i can't do splits anymore okay aren't you adorable wait until moving furniture is difficult wait you know like at this point i'm like colin 12 i'm like fuck five years from now and he carries the heavy

shit yeah but then that's kind of nice for you then you don't have to worry about it ever again yeah in terms of like the swimming stuff are you still do you still look back and like oh yeah i used to be able to swim you know so far out and you still believe you could do that now right you think the thing is if you're... For a good swimmer, it's a little like walking. I know that I couldn't hit the times I used to hit. But in terms of just staying buoyant, that takes very little energy for me.

Heck, probably less now than it used to. So it's like, could I swim miles? Yeah, I could swim miles. Every so often i get in shape again for these mancations and um you know it comes back pretty quickly and if you just have good technique then swimming doesn't require the same effort that it does for somebody else yeah so okay but um talking about the the adventures you you guys are planning or want to do if one of you could just buy this place I'm about to link have you seen this it's a

ranch in Texas for sale and it is bigger than New York and LA combined and it's for sale was one place really seven hundred and twenty five million dollars $725 million. So if you've got a few, you know, you can save enough for something. Yeah. Is that a bit low? So if you want to buy this place, this could host some cool adventures. You could invite everybody down. It would be private land.

You could do whatever you like. This is, I, it would be neat to have that. That's almost a billion dollars. It's five, over half a million acres it spans six counties but i really feel like this would be a good investment like yeah years from now they're gonna be like dude can you believe merca owns like a quarter of texas like 500 million acres like it yeah i'd be lonely i wouldn't even want that 50 56 000 acres of it of the estate has been developed for oil um there's 450 000 acres left untapped um and the

people who are selling it are going to keep 12 and a half percent of the minimal rights uh to any sale the ranch employs 120 people uh and several employees are multi uh generational so it's uh it's been a long-run thing. But I guess they just want to cash out because it's worth an absolute fortune. Yeah, $725 billion. I can't even fathom that much. Like, that's just crazy. I'm sorry, a million.

I said a million by accident. Yeah, that is. Bigger than New York and L.A. combined? That is too much. How many acres was it five hundred and ten thousand acres a tenth of that would be amazing fifty one thousand acres would be like there's thirty thousand acres of cultivated land thousand of heads of cattle hundreds of quarter horses and twelve hundred oil wells alongside thousands of acres of unexplored land according to the Danis base broker just imagine just been in this the estate

agent or the the person who's selling this property on behalf of the the owner the amount of commission you would make just by selling this place if you take a 1% commission you're earning what 72 million no 7. No, $7.25 million. That's insane. That would be life-changing. Yeah. But yeah, if anybody watching PKA has $725 million, buy the place and then invite us all over.

It'd be cool. Yeah. You need more than a golf cart buggy thing to travel around that place. Check out this place for sale that we're talking about. Click on the most recent link. And someone's selling a ranch in Texas. It's bigger than LA and New York combined, the cities.

And it's going for $725 million. Three quarter billion. Half a million acres. That's like your own country. That's probably... Actually, that is probably bigger than some European countries. It's definitely your own state. Yeah, it spans six counties.

I wonder what the taxes are like on that place. That's enormous. That's incredible. I wonder who the previous owner was. Was it Ted Turner? It was the Waggoners. Dan Waggoner. Ah, the inventor of the wagon. Huge business. Fell off after a while. Old family money right there. I'm looking to see how many acres is Rhode Island.

Rhode Island is America's smallest state. Shit, I thought I saw acres in here. How big is something like Wales? Isn't Wales really small? I'm just looking up that kind of stuff now. So Rhode Acre... I'm sorry. Rhode Island is 777,000 acres. And this place is 500,000 something acres.

So it's about 50 it's about two-thirds the size of rhode island how big is hawaii i don't know but i think it's bigger i think hawaii is definitely bigger so yeah you're right it's you know you never see like hawaii uh to scale next to the north american continent. It's always like a little bubble. And Alaska is always pictured as this big when in reality it's that fucking big. It's just like I saw the other day

they took a bunch of continents and they compared them to North American stuff and it didn't make sense. Africa was either way smaller than we thought it was than it appears or way bigger. In any case. And Australia is way smaller than we thought it was, than it appears, or way bigger. In any case... And Australia is way smaller than it seems. Way smaller.

Australia is much smaller, yeah. Wales is 130,000 acres, and that accounts for 8% of the United Kingdom. That's outrageous. 130,000 acres. Wow, so this place would be like three of those. Yeah. In any case, that's an enormous parcel of land.

For one owner, one guy to own I'm gonna say too much I don't I see you don't have to live in the middle you would make so much money off owning that place alone choose the oil and the agriculture and everything around that. But oil's not a... So here's the problem. You're not from Texas, and I'm not either, but I promise you. He's not... He doesn't have, like, a corn farm out there or wheat or anything.

I bet that's arid desert-like shit land. So 56,000 acres has been developed for oil. 30,000 is agriculture. That's what it says in this article here. And then 400,000 is garbage. Yeah, 400,000 is pretty much like uninhabitable, undiscovered landmass. Undiscovered? You don't know? They said it's a golf cart.

The Comanches own that part. I'm not joking in here. It says there's parts that haven't been... I'm sure there's parts that haven't been fully explored and charted and stuff. Even that guy... So that guy that I knew owned 18,000 acres. 18,000? And it was so much that it just took hours to drive around it.

And I don't mean cover every inch. I mean, just look, you know, you go to this hilltop and you like look forever and you're like all of that. And then you go to a hilltop way behind you and you go, yeah, all of that, too. And then you go to this mountaintop that we don't even know if the vehicles are going to, you know, make it up it with this loose sliding rock. And he's like, you see those mountains over there? Them and it was just like what don't you own and it was like that scene from the lion king he's like everything the light touches simba all of that shit out there is mine he's like and like all it was such a surreal thing but you're talking about something that's much bigger that's outrageous it. It's so much land, it's hard to imagine.

I wish I could see it on a map, like the state of Texas and then the Waggoners. Kyle needs to get his next business cooking. In this article, there is actually a picture that shows the area, the ranch, and then Texas and Oklahoma, I believe that is. And it's on the border. Kyle will be a multim-millionaire over again if he gets this thing going. See, you keep pumping it up. You keep pumping it up.

I didn't pump the Minecraft thing up. I was like, it's going to be great. It's going to be great. But I didn't say it publicly. I wasn't like, I was not big A. Like, you guys wait. Woody's going to make so much goddamn money making hate videos about him. Wait.

Just keep it on the down low. Maybe I'll be successful. Thanks for the hate vid only as we've laid. You made his dream a reality. Now if I don't make $3 million next year, I feel like I've let Woody down. You will have been a let down if you don't. Yeah. The subreddit will.

Stop the action. He's like, that's a good target. I mean, you're a elected. Yeah, the subreddit was He's like that's a good target Yeah, but I totally will let woody down if I don't make three million dollars like that next to what happened Just do it. Just do it Wing it I did more things today. I'm so happy It's just a step every day. There's there's like 40 fucking steps and each one of them annoys the hell out of me I'm working on it. It's a struggle every

day. 40 days of work. It's outrageous work. I don't want to get too much into it on here. Minutes of phone calls. It's like local government bureaucracy bullshit and then there'll be like... I don't even want to go into it. But it's a hassle.

Moonshining is tough business. Yeah, and every step of the way is expensive. It's $500 for this and a grand for that and $3,000 for this. It's annoying after a while. But yeah, take another step today. I'll take another one tomorrow. Working on it. Then Saturday, of course, 10 hours of Civ.

Back on the Civ, we've been playing Worms. It's not much. Worms is way better. Worms is an amazing game. I would play Worms with all of you right now if I could. That's what I want to do most right now. Have you guys played Rocket League yet, though?

No. I keep saying it, but some people probably still don't know. you remember Heather who handled the business like the? Advertising stuff for yeah, yeah, she was in your videos When they were in the house and the team event she was in there her brother is the guy that owns the company who made Rocket League you're not like work. Yeah, that's his company. That's his game. He could be buying that 725 million Dollar yeah, I'm excited for me It seems like she she was talking about the TV like you guys have to

stream you guys at the stream and I think we might like everyone's asking for it it's it's a hot thing I think you could land him as a sponsor I never had before I I've often thought like yeah he makes games you know would you like to do this some social media presence etc but um it it seems like he apparently knows the formula because he's gonna say it seems pretty organic if you type in rocket league on youtube now it's every big youtuber under the sun playing it it is so much fun i i bought it on a whim because i wanted to play with a friend i was like i'll give it a go it was i think 15 pound in the uk maybe 20 25 dollars so i thought i'll try it out if it's not that fun, it looks like a cool concept.

But it is, as soon as you get into it, it's I don't know how it is, but it's so easy to play, even though you don't know any of the buttons. And it's so much fun, even though you're absolutely awful and when the ball bounces, you always miss it when you jump. But it's really addictive. The games are only five minutes long.

Lots of goals are normally scored. It's just so much fun and you can have up to a 4v4. It takes me five minutes to choose a religion. Yeah, it's short games, which I guess is great for streams. Lots of them. If you're doing it against fans, you can get

loads of people in. Yeah, it's just really, really fun. You've really got to play it to understand why it's so addicting. But it's... Yeah, I hope he really, really fun. You've really got to play it to understand why it's so addicting. But it's, yeah, I hope he's doing really well. Well, that sounds interesting. I want to check that out. I, as of right now, know zero about that game.

But Worms, on the other hand, has been very entertaining. There is a new Worms game on Xbox One. And if you'll get it, Woody, I'll get it. My Xbox isn't even plugged in. Well, you know, plug it it in it's like an ordeal like i'm imagining the process of that and it's like like so i use my xbox one as my entertainment center a lot so like i oftentimes bring it from the living room down to my bedroom so i have all my same apps and i'm just like yeah okay well i'm gonna bring the xbox right here and plug it into

this monitor so you know you know, you do that. And, you know, then we can all play the new Worms game on Xbox One. I'm like, all right. So, I got to get the Xbox up here. I don't know. I need, like, HDMI switches and shit so that it can, like, go from the Xbox to the HDMI switch and then get, like, split out. Go to the recorder. Go to the monitor.

Ouch. That hurts. Can't you just scream straight to twitch from your xbox yeah you can do that uh so no webcam um i think you could use the connect you can maybe i'm sure i could do it i could probably i i i don't even i'm not even saying we have to stream it like I wasn't Okay, I'm streaming it. I just thought it's fun game. I don't want to I've got There's a new okay, so didn't you say it sucked? No, so you're bit so here's we bought a game on Steam that we thought was a newer worms game It was awful. I won't even call it a game. It felt more like a scam I got my refund back from Steam, but there is a new worms game it was awful i won't even call it a game it felt more like a scam i got my refund back from steam but there is a new uh worms game for xbox one it's an exclusive there i believe

that's the a newer updated version of worms that's a better more balanced game with lots of cooler power-ups there's like a jet pack that shoots water out your ass so you can like fly around shitting water on people drowning them as you travel. There's teleporters where you hop in one place and you can throw stuff in it and it'll pop out in another. Chiz was just telling me about this, and he already has purchased the game, and I was thinking I'd be more than happy to purchase the game.

So I was just suggesting that maybe we could play the new Worms, but it seems like you strongly feel like we should stick with the good old, tried and true Steam version of Worms Revolution and I'll do that if that's what you want. You know what it is? I guess I just would rather play on my PC.

Like I'm all set up. I can do everything with it. I've never played Worms with anything but my keyboard and mouse. It's how I game now. Oh, the controller is superior. Yeah, the controller is better for Worms. I've played Worms the X on my PC and it's... I don't know. I do recall being the champion on the first night you are the current champion because like hell goes over and pigs flew

and it was awful it was it was like every game like something happened and woody won backwards into victory every time what'd you say yes that's how worms is one no come on that's how worms is one that's how worms is one to a great deal and we've played a lot like i'm gonna guess we've played 10 to 20 hours of worms which in a game like that like that's a lot of experience 20 hours of sie means nothing. 20 hours of worms means you should be able to traverse the map and not fuck yourself up, you would think. But I think of it like this.

I tell this to Chiz every time he's got four worms and I got one worm, and he thinks it's game over. I'm like, you gotta make your putts. You gotta make your putts. It may be a seemingly easy thing, right? You just walk here and then aim at that worm and shoot the gun and the game's over.

It's never that easy. You'll slip and fall and you'll hurt yourself, which ends the turn. Or your rope won't stick the way you think it will. Or you'll run out of money. Or you'll end the turn in water. I was going to say the wind will

move the trajectory of whatever you're shooting at someone else. And it's a turn-based attack game, so it's like, oh, it's my turn to deal some damage. Let's say I have four versus one on Kyle. Well, sometimes getting to him is a turn, so I'll spend my turn getting to him, and then he'll kill me.

You repeat that, and where's your 4v1? Yeah. That time isn't as long as it looks. I i think was it 45 seconds or a minute maybe it feels like and that is not that is not so tight it's so it's uh it's a you it's very frustrating to play because like there's so many times when like you're this close to winning it's like i got you i got three worms. All I got to do is fly from here to here and then shoot there and it's game over. And then you accidentally slide into the water, fall off,

lose five damage, drown, and then they kill you. Let's say there's a wall like this. Try to get on camera right. And you drop a big stone statue on it. You would think it'd go boom, boom, boom. Like, you know, that's what it would do. You can't tell. You drop it on this wall it

could start burrowing down like in the direction you didn't expect kill your own players there's so much to learn that you get on the surface it looks so simple of a game but you really do need to play this game a lot to understand how the weapons behave there's this super sheep you throw the sheep and it's got a cape like Superman. And when you press A he goes dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun! And he takes off straight up in the air like flying like Superman. And you have to start controlling him or he'll suicide straight into the roof and explode. And you can guide him throughout the map flying.

He's quite fast as well. It's very fast and very difficult to control. I just now, after 20 or 30 hours of Worms, figured out the mechanics of controlling it. I in no way am capable of controlling it yet, but I understand the mechanics. Yeah, Saur can do it.

Also, it's very difficult sometimes to know the difference between what's actually in the game, the foreground, the bits that can blow up, and the background which isn't in the game. It's just difficult sometimes to know the difference between what's actually in the game, the foreground, the bits that can blow up, and the background, which isn't in the game. It's just a wallpaper. You've got to zoom all the way in and really look. Because sometimes you try and go for a gap that doesn't exist, and sometimes you think there isn't a gap there, when there is. There's a massive gap, and you miss your opportunity to kill someone or do good damage.

It's a really fun game. It's addictive. You get to fuck your friends up. And I don't know. It's really satisfying to blow up a bunch of Woody's worms or Chiz's worms or something like that. Because of the way

it spawns in as well, it's all random. Something like Civ, you choose your starting point and then you know a basic plan to build up and it's the same every time. Whereas in this, it's the same every time whereas in this it's mayhem from the start. If you're spawning next to four other people

you're in trouble. Yeah I'm thinking of building our own, like designing some fair maps because the maps are random and sometimes like all of Woody's worms will be clumped together in a corner and I'll just like throw a banana bomb over there and kill literally all of his fucking worms but one in the

first turn and it's like well woody kind of got fucked huh if he'd gotten to go right at the top where people can't get up to unless they're literally standing next to you which takes a turn on its own and you know you find that you've you're effectively protected there you're like in a bunker yeah there's and if you go first then like let's say that I spawned, and I've got three people in a pack, right? That is a really juicy target. And if I go last, then everyone takes a shot at that target. If I were to go first, I would get a guy out of there, make myself less of a juicy target, and hurt someone else.

Like, going last in that game is a really big disadvantage. For whatever reason, last time we played, it was common with me. But whatever. I don't know if it is. it's hard to say oh I wrote it depth so it definitely rotated it definitely rotated but I we don't think it's right I yeah I don't feel like it rotated I don't think it's fair in that sometimes you like four of my worms would be clumped together or four viewers or four of anyone's like that's not fair if i'm dispersed really well and especially if i've got worms and like hidey holes in the map somewhere

where no one can get them uh without teleporting to them or something like that then and then i'm just in a better position to win the game from the start unless everybody picks on me which is usually what happens anyway i also noticed sorry i also noticed that that a lot of the maps you guys were playing had a ceiling. There was a visible layer at the top of the map. And with a lot of maps that are generated, there isn't a visible ceiling. And that's where all of the crazy

rockets that you can have coming from the sky, or I think there's a cow as well, that you can bring in that explodes. The donkey and stuff like that. Oh yeah, we're very familiar with aerial attack. Yeah, it rotates around whether the map's going to be like that or not. But yeah, we played...

I don't know what difficulty we're on, but it allows you to start out with that concrete donkey thing. So it's mayhem. Yeah, it's a really fun game. What did Kyle make? it's it's mayhem yeah it's a really fun game what's it kyle so all right there's the background because everyone i'm sure is wondering i sent a skype message to these guys and said kyle buy this and it oh i told the punchline

in advance and is this cable I said Taylor buy this and It's this pop filter and then Kyle of course said buy this which is an It's a male's thong and your cock goes in his trunk. It's an elephant Yeah, sounds like Sounds like it's dying. That's right, and then I realized it wasn't going to work. Who here can do an elephant? It didn't work. Let's try it. I like it.

Taylor. You go first. I need to. I know, right? I don't know. All right, Patrick goes. That's pretty good i like what he's modulated you need to get there because

because they don't just do like a solid they do kind of a or it's like an up and down thing they do but I can't do it that's why we're doing it I'm in first so far for the same movement as Patrick over here. The last time I've done it is when I was a kid. It's method acting, you know. You've got to get the arm involved.

Alright, so who's in the lead? Taylor or me? Go again. I don't know if I can talk. I don't know if I can emulate that. That was locked. Shit, the first one was better. I don't know. You's right again Taylor that was a pretty all right you just stop what are you you peek I think I think what he's was better I'm getting up an elephant noise now you know I

can't do it anymore that one was was one with asthma. I'm gonna give it to Woody. Alright. Patrick was there too. Now it just sounds like it. Taylor had one really good one, and one okay one, and then one that- and then they started going awry. Woody had two pretty fucking good ones, and then, you know, there was a- He started falling, yeah. Started going downhill there. Well, you know, the first one was luck. I told you I didn't want to redo it. ...elephant.

Yeah. I needed to hear it a second time. I needed to be sure. That was part of the- Alright. I'm not gonna watch a YouTube video of elephant sounds. I don't care. Patrick, what's yours? We just want confirmation of it. Patrick? Are you dodging the impersonation? Do it. Oh no, I did it once already.

Oh wait, you did? It was piss-pork. Yeah, it was quite bad. It's my British accent. I just can't- I did it once already. Oh, it was Pissed poor. Yeah, it was quite bad. It's my British accent I just can't. The dude's own thing which it gave him like that's why I didn't laugh at him because he tried Yeah, it was Brian. But it just wasn't good. Mine wasn't by the way. I it was wow Yours was not. You're living in a very thin glass house, and you're throwing stones everywhere I feel like I'm pretty good at critiquing these things. I certainly can't do it I don't even know what where that should that come from your throat

or from your like nasal area or is that like a mouth thing it's you've a little ace for me that's just back there just It even hurts a little bit. I think you're stepping up the rail. Hey, everybody having fun on their ride to work? Isn't this fun coming out of your sound system? It's midnight. There it's Steve. Jesus Christ. What's that? Is this an elephant?

No, that sounds nothing like an elephant. Kyle's got the auto blowout again. John, John, John, John John John John John John it's currently sitting it's sitting in the floor like just a used this should be another potential sponsor unplugged thrown astray in the

in the corner someone has invented a cock ring that will it's kind of like the Fitbit of sex. You strap it on your cock and... All right, now we're talking. They're incredibly uncomfortable. Is there a high score? Right?

That's the thing. So let's see. Fitness trackers for your head, torso, wrist, and calves. And then there are fitness trackers for your genitals. Drawing inspiration from someone's thing called SexFit. Lovely is a wearable device that will pull triple duty as an erotic toy. I don't know this word. Priapic?

Activity monitor? Do you know this word? Priapic. Priapic? What does it mean taylor uh it has to do with your phallus uh it comes from the greek god priapus i think or maybe roman oh my god 15 inch cock and uh he was like the god of you know giving it to him good or something oh i'm impressed and it's a sex performance coach slimply slide your penis into the hardware get banging

away and when you're done a mobile app will tell you your score statistics that are recorded by their advice include calories you burned the force of your thrusting and even your top speed the software will look at your performance and come up with it when you say speed are we talking rounds per minute or are we talking i don't know the actual velocity that you're going this is going to ruin so many people because you're going to be trying actual velocity that you're going this is going to ruin You're going to be trying to break records you're going to be like all right first minute nothing, but speed second minute I need you to just deal with this. I know you're not enjoying it My stats up I'm going for deepest point reach

The software will look at your performance and come up with one of 120 new positions you can try next time out. If you look at the video at the bottom of that page and go to 1 minute 20, play from there. The idea of you and your wife or girlfriend checking through the stats on the app just afterwards like, Oh, you know, let's see what went well here. Let's check the calories, you know, see a top speed. I'm not sure that's... Someone plays into their mic or something. I don't know. But yeah, wow, look at these guys in bed.

Top speed with 14 miles an hour. Not very fast. Next time, try bending knees. He did 856 moves. That's an impressive stat. I've never counted. That's only 413 thrusts, right? True, true.

But at a top speed of 40 miles an hour, that's... What's the thrusts per minute? Yeah, we needed a cadence in there for sure. Yeah, you need a time to work out the thrust per minute then, don't you? You know what? There are some things that don't need to be invented or quantified. And this is one of them. No, you're wrong. This is awesome. We need to get them to sponsor

us and then we'll compete. For $100, one of these can be yours on Indiegogo? Is it? Yeah. Download the app. You know how all the ones now are like access to your contacts, access to this. Access to text your parents. Access to inform your parents did you

see that Twitter account that they put under a bed on a honeymoon under a bed Honeymoon sex tracker. Shit. What this guy did is... Wow, this is a tape. Oh shit, people are watching me search for this.'s uh fortunately it's all text but um uh yeah what this guy did is he uh rigged a device that he put under the mattress of a couple that just got married and then every time they had sex or did anything really every time they went to bed it would track that it would track how long they had sex for how often they did whether it was going for a second try and then based on their stats, they would issue quirky little snarky comments.

You know, like, ah, five minutes. You know, step up your game, or something like that. I would love to find it. Twitter. Were they aware of this device being planted under their mattress? No. If not, that's really douchey. They were told about it a week or two later, and I think

they got a good laugh. Sex. And they were tweeting this information out? The device automatically tweeted it. Without telling them? For two weeks? That's incredibly invasive. What a complete douche.

What an asshole. I'm going to make a device and put it right on his shitter. I'm having some soupy movements today, eh Todd? Everybody knows. And everybody has known for a month and a half. Like... Yeah, what a dick.

But if you have one of these call brings it would be a problem you'd be you'd be perfectly fine now you have your own statistics she wouldn't be normal that's it you could tweet to yourself yeah I near that is indeed very weird nice train and I wish I could find this this article it It was fantastic. Yeah, that would... Like, even if you had to use that for a bit, it would ruin sex,

because even if you were trying to ignore it and just fuck like normal, part of you would be like, I want to see, like, which stat I can max out this time. Like, what I can increase on there, you know? And so then you'd be putting all your effort into improving this, you know, fit bit on your cock and then no attention to the person you're with.

Just like, I'm trying to get my stats. Don't even look at me. You know, like you're just humping away. I don't know what a normal humping speed is, like four miles an hour, six. And you just want to hit 16 once. Just one 16 mile an hour thrust so that your stats get high yeah it's like being on the treadmill at the gym those ones that go really fast and it's like oh

i wanted to be able to say like i can run 22 miles an hour but really it's just like the sides again that fast once run that fast while you're holding the things like and also then you get those people who would take it to a competitive level to buy a dildo and then do the motion on something that isn't real just to get their stats up you know like you know you'd get it go like this really really fast and you'd get up to like 22 miles an hour um and you can all i need is an auto blow a dildo and a reciprocating saw tape it to on your car tires like those Roman chariot knives. The things that go with the reciprocating blade.

Are you familiar with this? Oh, yeah. I think that would be the bomb for this kind of competition. So, you know, this is the exact thing we talked about talk I feel like I'm ready to call wild card right but we're also at 354 I'd love to hit four hours because a lot of people look at the timer well then we just need one more topic then have you guys heard of the app called beam BME I have not released by a big

youtuber called Casey Neistat. He's a filmmaker and YouTuber. He's nearly got a million subscribers now. Let me link you to the video of BEAM and I'd like to know your guys' opinions. Basically, from what everybody's been saying about it, and I do have the app, if you guys ever use Snapchat, it's like Snapchat except you don't get to see what you're posting you don't get to edit what you're posting you don't get to delete what you're posting

you simply post this is retarded it's based on the concept that traditionally social media is very like basically you only once a day randomly it takes control of your camera and takes a picture of whatever the fuck you're doing, and then posts it permanently on the internet for all of your friends and family and the world to see.

You have no control over this. It's called your fault. I'm just starting to understand this. Now, it's like Twitter you said, right? No, it's like Snapchat. It's short clips of you doing stuff from your phone. And the idea is most social media like Instagram or YouTube is very finely edited content you know you only ever put your best content forward you're not uploading rubbish videos or you know

your first takes you're doing multiple takes you're getting like the perfect cut whereas this app basically just gives you like the raw image of someone's life you know it's like unlike snapchat where you can add filters or add text and you know do multiple angles unlike snapchat where you can add filters or add text and you know do multiple angles so you make yourself look perfect this is just whatever happens you don't get a choice about it i wish the only choice you get is pressing go i wish the promo wasn't four minutes long because i want to see it do you guys want to watch it together you can probably skip to the bit where he explains uh let me skip in a bit i don't know i i i'll watch it and i'll be a party to it but i hate the idea of all these apps i hate the idea of snapchat alone

so much i hate i hate social media so fucking much i really do and i work in it and i have a you know a really big facebook page. And I hate it though. It's fun being on one end of it when you're just kind of entertaining people because I like that anyway. But I just don't understand that people want to get on there and feel connected to some web of other people virtually where they're – the sending back and forth of memes on Facebook. I glanced at my girlfriend's Facebook the other day and I realized that that's what was going on on there. That people were like posting memes and then all their buddies were giving it a thumbs up and then they're discussing. So true. So true. More like

this. And it's just, I hate the circle jerk of their pretend social lives. Social media just disgusts me. One of the things that Beam tries to get around is the fakeness and the facade that Beam tries to get around is the fake, the fakeness and the facade that people put up. But if we start this video at 15

seconds where it says, so why Beam? Then the guy Casey Neistat kind of explains his philosophy behind such a... Alright, I'm at 15 seconds. Ready? Taylor, are you watching it? I had skipped ahead to see this and it's... the problem with all of these same apps

Is it just plays into? Okay, narcissism where it's like who fucking cares when you're doing these menial little tasks Why do you think everybody needs to know we should watch it together? Okay. All right ready? play What do we have here social media? play so what do we have here social media it's supposed to be a digital or virtual version of who we are as people instead it's this highly calculated calibrated version of who we are told through filters that make our eyes bluer carefully selected images to portray a version of who we are it doesn't really resemble the reality of things.

My team and I, we spent the last year plus building a new version of social. A new way to share. One that we feel bridges that uncanny valley. Real life is here, social media is here, and we're up here. This is Beam. Oh, you're on program light of beam, man. Picture or video, you go like this.

What is that graph in increments of? And instead of seeing the world with your eyes, you're seeing it through your phone. Or they work like this, where I'm staring at myself, making sure I look a certain way, and then when I stop recording, they work like this, where I'm staring at myself. sure I look a certain way and then when I stop recording I get to scrutinize myself that's just it I'm not sharing the real me I'm sharing a version of me with beam we wanted to do something different we wanted you to be able to maintain eye contact we wanted you to be able to keep staring at the sunset and we wanted you to keep watching the rock concert while still letting you share so

This is what sharing on beam looks like there's no staring at the phone you just Hold it to your chest and it records and then it's posted That's it. There's no preview There's no review and there's never a need to look at your phone if you want to do a selfie you just Stick it against the wall. Talk to the phone. Now, to accomplish this, we have to do some interesting things. Mainly, we use the proximity sensor as our record button. And this is what viewing looks like on Beam.

These are all the people I follow. The video just continues like this. I mean, you get the idea, the concept, the concept and the message just hold down on the cell all right like so what are your thoughts what are your initial thoughts because i'm very interested to hear what you guys think about this i think it's awful this is awful and narcissistic and it's also a handy excuse for people who want to not put any effort into creating anything that's good under the auspice of being more real with their friends. I feel like this guy was sitting in a room and he's like, all right, how do we make a lot of money?

He's got to fool them. He got $2.6 million in VC funding for this. There you go. We need to make them feel like it's really deep. I wonder how much of that went into development. I have a question because a lot of people make this mistake. Did he get $2.6 million in funding or did he get $2.6 million valuation? No, $2.6 million in funding from venture capital people.

One of the biggest investors was the person who first invested in Instagram and Snapchat, I think. Just so you know, what happens sometimes is I'll give you like a million dollars for 10% of your company. And now all of a sudden, I've given i guess a hundred million dollar valuation no a 10 million dollar value yeah and and they're like he got 10 million no he got one and he's obligated to like invest that but he didn't simply become a millionaire he just got expenses for his company paid and he lost a part of his company. But anyway, I don't hate it as much as these guys do. I think the concept is clever, but the execution isn't there. So here's what I would throw in there,

because if you were uploading something that meant something, it would almost make sense. I would imagine Woody doing one of these. You really seem to enjoy those Day in the Life videos. I would imagine each of the recordings, of these like you you really seem to enjoy this day in the life videos i would imagine like you know each of the recordings you would like want them to be like i don't know repairing like a yeah no no but like repairing like a lawnmower tire or sharp then sharpening the lawnmower blade then then like changing the spark plug on the

lawnmower and like like maybe it's like like like a like six or eight of these quick beams or whatever the fuck and it's lawnmower repair The problem is because you're not able to review, you're not able to aim the camera, I can't see that he's changing the smart plug. And he's uploaded a video. Four seconds. Four seconds? Fuck that.

Fuck that. That is the worst part of all of this. It's like it's just shitty pictures is what it is. Boring. That's the worst idea. I wish Twitter could do more than 140 characters. I kind of see why limiting it has made some things better, but 140 turns out to me, wrong number.

Wrong number. I like it. I think it's perfect. And there's so many apps that let you tweet longer and gives you the little quick hyperlink that just immediately opens up a longer tweet for them. If you want that. Yeah, and I use them. I'd say like a third of my tweets are tweet longer and gives you know the little quick hyperlink that just immediately opens up a longer tweet for them if you want that yeah and i use them i'd say like a third of my tweets are tweet longer or something like yeah the thing is i don't hate social media like kyle but i wish it was more meaningful right if like the beam thing at my initial reaction was i don't hate it like maybe

this is a way for people to connect with each other, to foster online relationships or whatever. I don't think online relationships are stupid. I think they're cool. I think they work. But four second videos that you can't see, not a fan. I feel like he's just, he's like, alright,

it's like Instagram, but bad. It's like Vine, but bad. There are instances where this works great. If you're looking at Niagara Falls, if you're watching a sunset, the Grand Canyon, a sort of landscape in front of you is awesome kind of thing.

For four seconds? Yeah, for four seconds. Sure. If you had a timeline of those, maybe that'd be fun. I could see that. If it was somebody like Dan Bilzerian, who lives some sort of... Alright now if you if you did eight four second clips of your day it might be sort of mediocre you might think I don't know if anybody wants to see this but maybe you know the best users maybe somebody like...

But there's there's no value if you are going to show people clips of something that's interesting and compelling then why not put a little fucking effort into it and actually hold up and be like hey this is good I'll send this to them not some horse shit of like oh looks like the fold in my shirt got in the way sorry for being annoying again Kathy like

it's just there's no value to this yeah yeah it's I don't like it at all honestly I think it's an awful awful thing i think the like if he's trying to make what what his heart had in place i i think it would be neat if someone did social media in a way that encouraged people to be less fake like i like that part of it i agree this the sentiment and the concept behind it of making what you post on social media less Perfect and more actually you that that is a good idea and and some people do that on social media

Anyway, some people are just themselves like, you know on this podcast you got we aren't holding anything back here It's like you we give our opinions and if you don't like them, then you don't like them that doesn't matter But the way is executed with four second clips to where you don't like them, that doesn't matter. But the way it's executed with four-second clips to where you can't see what you're doing, you can't use the front camera. Taking a selfie means you have to put the phone up to a wall or something or up to something else and then assume that you're in frame. And the way that it groups beams together is what they call them,

is location dependent. So if you're traveling around, say you say you're traveling across the country say chisels on a on a train and he's posting beams out the window you're gonna get a hundred beams from every different geo tag location he's in but if you're in one place and you do a beam it works like a snapchat story or like a longer YouTube video where they play one after the other and you can so So I got a thing and I know we were about to wrap, but I've got something I want to talk about. So Patrick just said,

you know, on this podcast, we're all like the real version of us, right? Like we're not holding anything back. Is this the real you? Cause I feel like this isn't the real me. Like the real me is,

is a, is a bit more censored than I am on painkiller already. I don't go walking around talking about having sex with chickens or, you know, sex devices. I'm going to be honest. Fitbits, whatever. You said the other day, you sort of inquired if I thought maybe you were autistic. And I will say, sometimes you will curse. You will curse very loudly in public.

And I'm not talking about ass or shit or damn. I'm talking you'll be dropping motherfuckers, motherfucker, in like a movie line or something. And there are clearly children that parents are like hugging them in that way that you cover their ears with one part of your arm and their other ear with your body. covered their ears with one part of your arm and and their other ear with your body like it's one of my favorite qualities because i just because i know that you don't know you're you don't give a fuck and i like to

look around see who else noticed did that guy just say fuck yeah he's yelling fuck actually what did i say at the paintball thing? The guy had his nephew with him. Oh, man. We fuck pussy bitches. No, no, no, no. You're stretching it. You're stretching it.

It was... All right, so that... Those words were all included. There was a whole... I don't know about that. Something about fucking pussy. And it wasn't... No, it was not! It was not!

Oh, oh! But it wasn't about the act of it. It was about my frustration with the sissy. Ah, yeah! It was like, we're winners around here! We fucked that pussy! No, I didn't say that! I didn't say that!

I might have described someone as a fucking pussy, but it wasn't that I said we do... I don't think it was... God, I wish it was recorded. What Kyle's saying is that all those words were included loudly in front of the children. A child. Some of these guys are always asking you, they're being like, um, you know, should I, should I, should I ask her, should I kiss her,

should I ask her out, should I say this to her, and you're like, YES! YES! DO IT! We're winners here! We respect winners! We, something, and then it was something like, we fuck that pussy! We get that pussy! And it was just like this, this small child. I played this little kid all day for two days.

He's like 11. This is when I first met him. And he's just, his eyes, just eyes, I saw a little bit of his soul felt away. They deadened a little bit, a little bit sparkled. Yeah, he grew up a little bit that day. I think, well,

what Kyle's saying has elements of truth to it. That the real me is a little bit more conservative. Like, I don't know. We talk about wacky stuff on this show. Yeah, I think,

but I think this show gives a, gives a time and a place for that kind of stuff. Like you're not going to go up to Jackie and ask her if she thinks you could kill a shark by jumping on top of it. But you would talk about, you know, things that you guys more relatable. Whereas on this show,

that's, that's where you get to express those opinions, but only because they were brought up like it's not something that you were thinking of anyway you're like some things is like oh this would be good for pka and then you wait for it to come around to ask you have to take it to an extreme more like if a friend walk up to me was like hey i got this new app beam like it's pretty neat you do this like i would be like oh yeah i don't think i'm gonna download it but yeah it looks neat i wouldn't be like oh you fucking narcissist you idiot it's

wrong for these reasons yeah fucking stupid you have to download it, but yeah, it looks neat. I wouldn't be like, oh, you fucking narcissist. You idiot. It's wrong for these reasons. You're fucking stupid. You have to hold it to your chest, you idiot. Fuck you. I wouldn't actually. I feel like I do that, though. I think I'm an asshole because in my day, I feel like this is very close to actually me. I try to be a little more entertaining, obviously.

I try to stay high energy, and I try to make jokes and little quips when I can here and there. Maybe I wouldn't try to be on, as it were, all the time when it's really me. But if anything, I sort of censor myself quite a bit, try not to say anything too awful on the show. I feel like you're getting more of a PG-13 version of me than real life, I think. You say some crazy stuff sometimes. I say some horrible shit in real life, yeah. But, I mean, real life. I mean, I say some pretty weird stuff here occasionally yeah yeah like i but i mean real life i mean

i say some pretty weird stuff here occasionally but that's because i usually believe it or it's funny i feel like in real life i'm somewhere in between like the the video commentary version of me and the pka version of me i'm like the video commentary is so thought out and and oftentimes i don't use a single curse word or i'll even say like 1950s ducks yeah you do yeah and those shucks like i feel like some people might hear you say shucks and all that stuff and take that as like you being fake that's how woody curses in his regular day-to-day life he is he is saying shucks and what's the other one um i don't know what the other one besides shucks is but you've got a couple of like you know

fake curse words that you'll drop yeah like in one breath you'll be like fucking motherfuckers like standing in line at the sizzler but then later on you'll like bang your toe and be like SHUCKS just like that fiddlesticks

yeah gosh darn it is a thing I say bees knees has been somehow crept into my vocabulary that's a pretty british phrase the bees knees my father used to say it it's the bees knees it's like the greatest thing it's uh yeah it's something positive yeah right that's that's that's crept into my uh like you know i don't know i've been looking at i'm shopping for this and that and i'm like oh well that would be the bee's knees. That Finnish mower is the bee's knees. It was a Finnish mower.

We know what you're looking at. It's not like some hot Asian chick on the internet. She is the bee's. No, it's a Finnish mower. It's a lawnmower. It's a lawnmower. I am just, I'm a destroyer of blades of grass. I've been joking about that for a while. I think it's hilarious.

It's like you're fighting a war against your lawn, and you've been winning forever. The lawn doesn't stand a chance. They're just getting mowed down, literally. I call us, like hope colin and i we are the movengers and i assemble them paint those lawn avenger themes come on get a hulk get a get a get an iron man like like that would be cool if you had the avenger it's it's Woody and his kids. Each of them has their own mower. He just upgraded

mowers at least a new mower and a new... No, we haven't got a new mower. We just upgraded the tractor and I'm still shopping for Colin's upgrade. Yeah, okay. So you got a new attachment for your tractor to mow with and

you're still shopping for an even bigger mower for Colin and he's already got like a like a like a full-sized riding lawnmower riding lawnmower yeah it's a bit he could step up his game more power he does text you the pictures of that uh antique tractor but i don't think they went through oh i don't think so yeah uh no it's i kind of decided the end you know i took him i had him drive my tractor for a while. So I was looking at tractors with Kyle, and he kind of brought me to reality and said, like, hey, you know, that's a real piece of farm machinery. You know Colin better than I do.

It might be perfect for him. But, you know, if something goes wrong, it's horrific. Just make sure he's the right guy for that. And I thought about it and took it to heart. And we went out and we rode my tractor with me standing on it you know whatever and while nothing went wrong or anything I just felt like he's not ready for his own tractor yet we had to do something else like a riding mower or zero turn or something like that yeah farm machinery is legit it seems to be something in my

head it's something that if he were to like panic like if bees were to start stinging him like what if he runs over an under an underground like um yellow jacket yeah they start stinging him he's gonna panic if he needs to be able to get off of the piece of machinery and run away walk away fall off and still be okay yeah yeah so um i agree with that and uh i think we're gonna do something bigger but safer you know something where he's all wrapped in and i'd like him to have some sun protection too and anything that's got like even if you had to rig it up yourself where it's got a kill switch involved with the seat like that that might be a way to like put him up a grade and uh like lawn tractor his has that now but his next one will too. Yeah.

Typically the way they work. Yeah. Actually you need the parking brake on for it not to cut off. So you get up, it cuts off. Cuts off. That's a Southern thing. Well,

continue your war against the lawn. I mean, it doesn't stand a chance. I really, it doesn't stand a chance. This idea of a Marvel themed paint jobs is interesting to me. I bet. Dude, all you need is some stencils and stuff and, you know, make it happen.

This is a smart thought. Video concepts on our way. And you all get costumes on? Dude, and I mentioned it to Hope, and she even was able to strike the pose that Scarlett Johansson hits and everything. She's like, oh, so I'm the girl. Does that mean I have to do this? And I was like, I never even noticed. And she's like, yes, every girl has to stick her butt out and simultaneously show butt and boobs

in the same shot. And I was like, yeah, I guess you are obligated. Mow my ride coming soon to Woody's Game and Tag Channel, I guess. New series. You can put your lawnmowers and, you know. It sounds boring.

It's like an action movie where you could take those explosives you've got and put them in little baggies, and every time you ran over one, they would explode when the lawnmower blades hit them. Yeah, but the cool guys don't look at explosions kind of thing where they're driving the lawnmowers towards the camera and all these massive explosions are going off in the background. No, it's like his lawnmower is so powerful, it's blowing the grass up. He's riding and it's... And you see it like mowing the grass. It's just flat and mulched to shit.

And he's like, let's step it up a notch. Ka-chunk. And it's just... Are you familiar with the ROPS thing? That rollover protection system, right? It's like a up a notch. Ka-chunk. And it's just boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo. Are you familiar with the ROPS thing, that rollover protection system? Right? It's like a big roll bar. That needs to be some sort of gigantic catapult that will just launch cannonballs or explode. Like, I don't know, something they'd use to siege a castle.

Flaming balls of tar or something like that. Well, good to remember that it is grass. So you don't need that so much. You know what I've always wanted to do? And I don't know if there's any way to make this some sort of PKA thing or not. But it's just something I've always wanted to do is build a trebuchet or a catapult. Like a big one. Like one that could throw legit rocks.

Like could throw, you know, 500 pound stones or something. You could start with a branch stones or something that would be pretty feasible right yeah do you know anything about trebuchets huh do i know anything about trebuchets i know this i'm an engineer and i can build anything well i understand how a trebuchet works and i think the easiest way to do one would be would be to make the counterweight water so that you can just you know just form the container that is the counterweight and then you pump the water in rather than moving a big heavy counterweight into position.

So I think a water counterweighted French trebuchet would be the way to go. But I think you need to be an engineer to make it because I think it's a lot more complicated than a catapult that's using coiled rope or springs or something like that. I think we just flat out copy a design. Oh totally! We're not designing. We're springs or something like that. I think we just flat out copy a design.

Oh, totally. We're not designing. We're not going to do that. Get a design team on board to read the blue. But, you know, some other engineer invented it. We just copy it. That's what the great ones do. I always thought that would be cool, though.

Just, I don't know, throw rocks at a giant brick wall or at a house or a car. A car would be fun, right? Especially if the car was rigged to explode if struck with the rock. Wouldn't be that hard. That does sound like fun. But I've always thought they'd be really expensive with the lumber. I don't know.

You could probably find some old tobacco barn that's torn down. I feel like it needs to be good lumber. Have you ever Craigslist searched a trebuchet? Do you not think that's something that someone I feel like it needs to be good lumber. Have you ever Craigslist searched a trebuchet? Do you not think that's something that someone else might have that you could pick up? I feel like you build one.

I feel like the people who build trebuchets are literally universities who have a class doing a project or something and they've got funding to do that. There are competitions where people do that sort of thing. I don't think anyone's in the market to build and sell Trebuchets. No, Trebuchet.com, marketplace for Trebuchets.

No, but I've always thought that'd be cool. Here's a Trebuchet in Cincinnati. Ah, post deleted by author. Trebuchetsales.org. Holy smokes here. We are this one's a nice Here we go Craigslist always delivers. Oh, yes, it is bitch mode like I'm literally thinking this live three times That's pretty robust like this thing. Oh, no, but like the thing thing I'm... Let me show you what I'm imagining here. I'm talking about something out of like Lord of the Rings. Like yeah, like why not?

Let's build a legit one. I just built this Merlin Trebuchet catapult a year ago for a school competition, which won us first place for firing across the entire baseball outfield at 50% weight capacity. Lame. We spent well over $300 in countless hours. outfield at 50% weight capacity. Lame. We spent well over $300 in countless hours. $300? That's a bad budget. Harry.

Holy shit. This thing is like a 10 minute drive from me. There. Wow, you'd be a fool to pass it up. Look at this. I'm talking about like that big is that we'll talk that's how that's like a hundred alright I can't tell how big it is at all there's

nothing else sure would have to be the size of like a warehouse to be able to build that thing you can think some massive that the size of a warehouse to be able to build that thing. Then things are massive. That has a ladder going up to it. Yeah, it's a fucking siege machine. Look at the actual building materials, though. It's not that much.

It's really big timbers, but there aren't that many of them. It's fairly simple. I see nothing that gives me any concept of scale. If you look at the first picture of the image search from Wikipedia, there's people next to them and there's a big ladder and that gives you an idea of scale. Oh, but it's the second one that he wants you to see.

I was looking I went back and looked at all of the images. I see. I want one of these really big fucking trebuchets. Not one of these that, like, three guys, like, throw together in a shop.

Like, that's ridiculous. I can picture you wanting to start this, and it's just gonna end up looking like this. No! See, that's so lame. That's lame these are children yeah dude when i was a kid we made a we never mind look i've got a cannon that'll shoot a bowling ball out of sight so if we're gonna build a siege machine i wanted to be able to fling a bowling ball like through a fucking car or like over a mountain or something like i want a legit trebuchet that's all i'm saying i'm not saying fund it for me i'm not saying i'll build it but

if i'm gonna build one it would have to be a legit one i wouldn't want one of those bitch made trebuchets you've got to go all out absolutely i don't feel like if that smaller one i feel like i could shoot it and do stuff with it that bigger one it would land on someone else's property it would have to be in your dad's farm or something. It would overshoot that. We'd have to go somewhere special. It's a hundred acres. Your friend's 18,000 acre plot of land.

It's a hundred acres, but that's only 2,000 feet in one direction the way it's plotted. I mean, well, I guess you could go. At its best, I mean, I can almost shoot my bowling ball off that property at its maximum. At a lot of angles I can, but even almost shoot my bowling ball off that property at its maximum. At a lot of angles, I can. But even if I go to the very far end of one side and shoot to the very far end of the other,

I'm almost overshooting the property with the bowling ball mortar. Yeah, then you shouldn't build a trebuchet that can fire something further than you even have use for. Well, I figured if we could angle it, I could shoot into a tree line without shooting over the tree line and taking out a water tower or something. You're going to shoot it the first time if you ever do make this, and you're going to be like, I think I can hit it right at the bottom of that tree line. And it's going to launch and be comical. It goes like 6,000 feet.

What's over that way? That's happened so many times. Nashville is over there. That's Atlanta. That has literally happened to me so many times. Like so many times oh that's atlanta like that has literally happened to me so many times like like so many times where like something awful like that has went down i mean the bowling ball mortar of course every now and then it'll just i don't know where it goes i won't tell the story but yeah it was like well i guess we'll find out in the news if they landed yeah

yeah yeah well like i was i was shooting a gun one time and the guy went through the whole spiel on how to operate it uh and i i knew how to operate it but what he didn't say is hold on to this wheel right here or it'll start or the barrel will rise with each consecutive shot like nobody told me to hold on to the wheel so the barrel rose on each consecutive shot and we we shot some shells about seven miles that way and i was just like i was just like what the fuck was that i was like what's going on i was like what's over that way he's like don't worry there's nothing over there um you know and i was like well how far does that bullet go he's like seven eight miles something like that and then we go over there and

like the we see the first one and it's like blowing a huge hole in the ground and then the other one is like blowing a tree in half and then you see up high the top of a tree is like blown out and it's like where'd the fourth bullet go man where'd the fourth bullet go and he's like that way and it's like just watch we'll have hit like some sort of purebred like half million dollar horse because he was like he like, I think they keep horses over there. Yeah, yeah, about eight miles that way there's a horse farm. They got all these racing horses. And he was just winding me up, of course.

But in my head I'm like, we're going to hit the fucking Kentucky Derby winner or something. And that son of a bitch is just going to explode. Oh, God. Well, that was Painkiller already, episode 240. Thank you so much to Audible. Audible.com slash PKA.

Check them out. Get Game of Thrones. Yeah, I shall be listening to the Game of Thrones book on my three-hour return journey to London every day. That will eat up nicely. It's an hour and a half each way from where I live. The books we like include Game of Thrones, God Said Ha by Julia Sweeney,

and Bossy Pants by Tina Feyy yeah so anyways next week next week