Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #241

Episode Date: August 7, 2015

This week on PKA, Taylor is moving so Chiz & Joe come on and have a lot of UFC talk, Kyle's new business is revealed and a subway fight gets rough.

And we're live. Episode 241 of Painkiller already. Kyle? This episode has two sponsors. First of all, we have Squarespace.com. Start building your website today at Squarespace.com. Enter OperaCodePKA at checkout and get 10% off Squarespace. Build it beautiful. And our second sponsor of the night is brand new to us. This episode is being brought to you, of course, by Eagle Energy Vapor, North America's first retail-ready, caffeine-infused, disposable vaporizer. So we'll talk more about that later.

I like to think Chiz's celebration is just bringing in new sponsors. Yeah. He's just like, fuck yeah. Chiz is the man. New sponsors. Chiz is always like. Well, I was pantomiming an eagle, but I appreciate that you think so highly of myself. That's my attempt at an eagle.

Chiz is, he beats the bushes for sponsors. Anybody and everybody, he'll cold call. I listen to the Stern Show a lot, so I'll notice who's advertising with Stern, and I'll be texting Chiz all the time, like, this company, that company, this company. And every now and then one of them will bite, and we'll get them too, so

that's cool beans. Yeah, but no beans in that. Just vapor. Just vapor. No sugar at all. Anyway, thank you so much Squarespace and Eagle Energy for sponsoring the show. Joe, you're coming off a win. How you doing? I'm good. I'm good.

Coming off a win is always better than coming off a loss. So I'm good. Every fight I get more wrapped up like kyle was like i really enjoyed your fight and i'm like i didn't enjoy that shit at all like i was just relieved i was just watching your kid at a talent show like oh you got this you worked so hard for it yeah i swear i'm like your second wife at this point i mean minus i feel fringe benefits but i feel differently but no less uh uh impassioned i think so so the biggest thing for me is whenever you're hurting somebody whenever whenever you're turning it on

you've got them in a bad position and it's like oh joe's doing some damage now i get so pumped up for that like more so than anything else that damage now i get so pumped up for that like more so than anything else that i that i could watch when you're when you were hitting uh gomi in the head i was just like kill him kill him kill him i always want you to just just pound him to death i wish i had that response i like it like um shucks did you see the pat berry congo fight i'm sure you did yeah did And Pat Barry is like a really No, no, Congo's on super wobbly knees And then he just comes and knocks out

Barry out of nowhere Is it Congo? Is that the guy he fought? Do you know this fight? So Pat Barry had this thing wrapped up The other guy was all but Knocked out, or was knocked out And then somehow, with one punch He ended Pat Barry If Joe is pouring it on all but knocked out or was knocked out and then somehow with one punch he ended pat barry i if

joe is pouring it on i'm scared of that if if joe's against some guy that is you know some like regarded as the best in the multiverse i'm concerned about how tough he is if joe's up against some you know 115 pound girl i'm concerned what happens if he loses. If Joe's winning, I'm concerned that this guy could turn it around. I've got nothing but anxiety. No confidence in the man. It doesn't help that he already has general anxiety all the time running. So it just kind of amplifies everything.

Joe's never thought of it like this. That's terrible. It's not to be no confidence. It's not it. Like, you know, the smart money's on Joe. But it's like I imagine his wife watching the fights, you know? I want a couple of things. I want him to win.

I want him to come through without injury. And if possible, bonus. Bonus. Bonus is a good one. I would love to see you and her watching his next fight sitting next to each other. injury, and if possible, bonus. Bonus. Bonus is a good one. I would love to see you and her watching his next fight, sitting next to each other. And we're just like, oh, God, no! They're like freaking, like, why are you freaking out? But he's like, Joe has this, all right?

Just like, do you want a paper bag? No? Do you want a paper bag? But yeah. Once Joe did that weird contorted banana split shit on Gomi, I was like, we're good. Then he got his back. I was so happy. Do you think he did that?

Do I think what? Do you think he was injured when you did that? I forget when he – I think it was after that though. So that definitely tied him up. But at one point, he let out like a squeal and I definitely felt like he was hurt. He 100% started fighting like half as much. He was hurt for sure. But I mean that's what it goes. You know like I was I was doing that

I was trying to intentionally they kind of make him stretch in a weird position and and try and do that and then I just I did you know that's what I thought it was. Yeah, that was a banana split Never seen that before I thought you Thought you were making up a new move on the floor Never seen that before. I thought you were making up a new move on the fly right now. Yeah, I was like, he's going to rip him in half. This is probably back like five years ago now, but a guy actually submitted a guy with that.

He called it like a stump puller or something like that, but he submitted a guy. He basically got the guy's belly down and just pulled on his leg. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I remember he pimped his own gym afterwards. Joe Rogan hadn't seen it, if I recall correctly. And he's like, you know, what is that hamstring pull thing you did? And he's like, come to

whatever, badass MMA. We'll teach you all about it. You too can rip people's hamstrings. Dude, I'm glad you won. And it couldn't have gone any better. Like with you calling the stop to the fight.

If people don't know, maybe there's people who aren't UFC fans out there. Typically what you do is you hit a guy until the ref pulls you off. That's how you know you've won. It's not the fighter's job to stop the fight. It's the ref's. If you're doing a submission that hurts a guy, sometimes people will just hold it there instead of holding it more until the ref gets there, right?

You know, like, I don't know. Like, if it's an armbar or something and you know you've got it and she's tapping, you might wait for the ref to break it up. Why am I saying she? It's a she. It's a she. You know, she's tapping out, but you just hold it right there. We all know the armbar

queen. She's fighting, is it this weekend? This weekend. Yeah, so she's fighting in a few queen. She's fighting, is it this weekend? This weekend. Yeah, so she's fighting in a few days. Maybe she's in my head. But yeah, anyway, if an opponent's tapping, you might just, like, I don't know, not injure her. You could stop extending or you could just keep it right there. Or you could hips all the way through and make their armband backwards.

That's what I'm trying to say. Yeah, and a lot of people might stop extending, stop trying to break the thing if she's actively tapping or he's actively having. But it's rare for someone to get up and walk off and say he's had enough. What was that? So probably not the smartest idea. So I got Gomi's back.

I was starting to lose the back. That's why I started punching because he started to get away a little bit. And I started punching, and then he went from fighting really, really hard to get away to just completely limp, wasn't doing anything. I think I hit him one more time, and I looked at the ref, and then I hopped off. And I probably shouldn't have hopped off. Because the ref looked at Gomi, and if I remember right, he did something like this. Yeah, pretty much.

Yeah, yeah. It's funny to me. Like, keep going. So then I started coming back to jump. I wanted to – if the ref wasn't going to stop it, I wanted to jump on him before he'd get back up. Yeah. Dude, I – And the ref waved it off.

How wild would that have been? Dude, I – If you had to jump on him again and continue the – All right. It's happened before. Chris Cyborg, she's like the 145 champ. She's the one that's always calling out Ronda. She was fighting some girl.

They're on the feet. Hits the girl, drops her, walks away, jumps up on the cage, arms up, like celebrating. And the referee's like – it was probably like 20 seconds, 25 seconds. The referee's like, hey, this is not over yet. You have to fight. She TKO'd the girl like 10 seconds once she started punching. Yeah.

But it's happened. So Joe, he's one joe's he's on his back and he's kind of doing that double you know punched on either ear you know and it knocks the guy out he gets up hands away you know i won i won i won the ref says to go back and joe starts walking over to go me like a fucking silverback gorilla it's like he's like no don't hurt him joe laurie m Rory McDonald flashed over his face right there. All right, I'm going to kill Gomi. I'm going to kill a hero.

You didn't call it, Herb. If you need him dead, I should have done. The only thing I should have done differently is I should have had a little more of a tan. I was like as white as a ghost. Short shorts. I could have used a tan. But other than that, I think it was a pretty perfect fight. Yeah, and plus it was neat that you didn't hurt him more than you had to

and it was Gomi, right? Like, if hypothetically that was Jon Jones or something under you, everyone would be like, you should have kept hitting him! But it was Gomi and, you know, it was like, ah, you know, if the legend, he,

I don't know, if the legend has to be done, then this is the best best way to do it yeah you definitely didn't take a lot of damage but you did get hit a little bit like did are there how how how was the next day like like uh are you hurting i had a little tiny mark over my left eye uh from he hit me with like a hook or something like just like a glancing blow like nothing major i i felt like I didn't fight at all. What he was saying, you probably had sparring sessions that were more intense. Yeah, way tougher.

Yeah. Way tougher. That's good. That's nice. It's nice when it goes like that. Because sometimes you win and you still get fucked up. You know what I mean? You get super sore hands or an elbow or your back or a knee or whatever.

But I felt like I didn't get touched. Were you? Yeah. Did you get hurt in the Varner fight? That was a hard-fought win. or knee or whatever but I felt like I didn't get touched. Did you get hurt in the Varner fight? That was a hard-fought win. I don't think I got hurt. I hurt my elbow from elbowing him in the head. I'll take it. I'm not saying I'm not but Ben Saunders actually fought on my card this past weekend and I was talking to him. He was in our locker room. I was like, your elbow's killing right now.

He landed so many elbows from guard. He had the guy in his guard. He had both of his arms trapped in a triangle. The guy couldn't get away, but he couldn't really hit him either. He just hit him with the soft part of his elbow. It just kind of sucks. How long is Conor going to stay at 145? I don't know. Now they're talking no IVs, which is a big deal for him.

He's so big for the weight to begin with. He does the IV. I don't know. I they're talking no IVs, which is a big deal for him because he's so big for the weight to begin with. He's huge. He does the IV. I don't know. And I wouldn't be surprised if he just goes up to 55 and tries to win the title there too. What's the rationale behind no IVs? So supposedly –

First of all, I think the IVs are a way better way to help hydrate and everything like that. But the toughest part about rehydrating is getting all the fluid back to your brain. And that's a big part of why concussions happen. If you don't have fluid in your brain, you kind of give it that extra cushion, then a lot of concussions happen because your brain hits inside of your skull and that's what causes concussions and bruises. So the idea is if you get hydrated up faster, it's better. You have less head injuries. The idea between banning the IVs is supposedly you can flush a lot of fluid and that can be used to hide.

If you've been on whatever, then you can use it to mask it a little bit. USADA was talking. They had a meeting actually right after my fight, a couple days later, that Chris was at. Chris owns Mixedmarshalls.com and they've been dealing with like cyclists and people like that like for a long time and they were saying that you know so that they can random test people so they would have people um down in the hotel lobby just basically keeping an eye out and the second usada shows up or someone shows up with like a kid or something they're calling upstairs to whoever's upstairs and that person's like running down the

hallway and trying to like flush an iv as fast as they possibly can just because if you were just barely over uh and you were going to test positive but you flushed that little bit of extra fluid now that puts you just under now you're okay so that's the difference between like uh someone getting in trouble or not so you're saying flush but it sounds like they dilute it like you put a yeah you put a clean pint in there. Diluting it, yeah. See, cheaters ruin it for everyone else. Now everyone has to drink bottles of water after cutting.

The big thing on that is just that you can't put food in your system as fast. The great thing about the IV is that your stomach remains pretty empty, so you put lots of food in there. But now if you're talking lots of water and fluid, now that space is limited. Maybe you get half as much food in because half is taken up by water. What do you eat and weigh at night?

Some kind of bread and some kind of meat. I like chicken, steak, pasta, bread, whatever I can get. This fight I had a cheeseburger. It was called a double iron chef burger. It was enormous. You saw the video blog. One of the first video blogs I put out for the week. The second one I put out. She'll be eating this big ass burger and I ate that on

Tuesday and I had another one on the way in night. It was really good. We'll devote the next hour to Reebok hate. Is that okay with you? Dude, we can talk about Reebok all you want but I think it's crazy. We can talk about it. I don't care. think we can talk about it i don't care i'm all about it yeah so i've talked to you in private and you kind of like you're not anti-rebook like some people are i'm not anti-rebook at all i think it'll be so here's what everyone is is upset about

so first of all no one likes change so that's the first part that people don't like change because some guys are doing better in sponsors i don't think that anyone was doing as good like ben saunders is saying he's making 100 grand a fight i don't believe that he's got a really popular podcast brendan schwab i think was that brendan schwab you said ben saunders but it's brendan oh yeah yeah brendan shop yeah my bad yeah um i get saunders on the brain. That's cool. Yeah, Brandon Shaw, he has a podcast called Fighter and the Kid. And I think that he somehow bundles his sponsors from fights with sponsors for the podcast. And maybe he's making $100,000 there between the two of them. But not having the sponsors in the octagon is not costing him $100,000 like he's saying.

I don't think. So I don't think anyone's really doing numbers like that unless you're a Ronda Rousey or someone of that nature. I don't think that people are taking as big of a hit, but people are reading and they're like, I was making way less, but so-and-so was making more, so we must be getting screwed.

I don't think it's that bad. I think that people are... I don't think Reebok stuff is going to be amazing today. I think it's going to be amazing like today. I think it's going to be amazing in like a year and a half, two years. Are you talking about the money or the product? The product, the product itself. Because, so I went to Reebok headquarters like a week and a half ago, almost two weeks

ago now. And they were talking about how basically when they come up with a new line, it's like a 24 month process. It takes them 24 months to plan everything out, go through everything, get things printed up, get ready for mass production. It takes a long time for that to happen. They're already working on spring 2017 stuff, in fall 2017. So it's a 24-month process.

So when they started talking to the UFC, it was like a year ago. So they were expecting to have 12 months, so they were going to be cutting their time in half. It ended up that between all the negotiations negotiations it wasn't finalized till december so they condensed a 24 month process down to six months so of course things are not going to be as perfect and smooth as they would like right away um you know i i think that there's definitely i think the stuff is very very good i think it's very very nice but i think that it was definitely some of the stuff was just rushed a little bit just because of the

nature of it but are they going to get into way to keep the women's boobs you see the technology and I've been behind no no the nips lick technology is on point yeah yeah I need I need to get some Misha Tate fights in I don't know what there was no nip slips at all and the Misha Tate fight I'm a little disappointed with smaller breasts than it is with bigger breasts. That's what's really happening because it can slide. There's no like – There's nothing pushy on the back.

There's no titty for the cup to come. We need a larger sample set of nip slips, and then we can do our analysis. I would bet anything that Dana freaked out on Reebok over that. It's happened before to her. Has it to her? Yeah. I don't think so. I don't even know who that fighter is.

She was in the prelims, I think. Well, the big thing, it was one of the prelims. Phillips. She fought Jessamyn Duke. Phillips, yeah. They were on the prelims. But the big thing is, okay, this is now the fourth show with Reebok stuff, and they just had a girl lose her top the first time.

Yeah. And now they have Ronda going in a couple days. Ronda almost lost her top. And Ronda almost lost ronda almost yep and she had a double sports bra she had like she was you know doing everything if she was in the reebok stuff it might have come up for people who don't know all these details ronda what happened was she has a smaller outfit for weigh-ins than she does for fight night and whoever was this is pre-reebok whoever was doing her stuff I think I have the story right didn't recognize that she needed like bigger clothes for fight night so basically what she did is she just doubled up and wore both

outfits like her weigh-in outfit was underneath her fight outfit on fight night and she still almost had a nip slip like she had to readjust during the fight all excited like your hands just tape. That's all you need to do. Tape them up. Sleep in pills. Overall, I think the Reebok stuff is good. They're listening to all the fighters. They're listening.

They're definitely listening. They pulled Brennan Schwab's kit. The time for negotiating money is gone. That's not a Reebok problem. The Reebok came to terms with the UFC. So now the UFC deals with that. All the money goes from Reebok.

It's been inside of the UFC. And now it's, you know, people, fighters are going to be upset. If they want to be upset, they should be upset at the UFC, not Reebok. Well, the UFC says they gave all the money to the fighters. I think the way it worked out is, like, I don't know what it is, but it's like $65 million over, like like five years or six years or something like that. So all the money goes to the fighters, but except for the money they needed to hire staff to deal with all that stuff. So if they have, you know, they hired like 10 people to do all the different events and keep track of all the gear and process all the gear.

And they have women out there that are out track of all the gear and process all the gear. And they have women out there that are out there to tailor the gear that week. So like Steve Mays, his fight kit shirt was like a sausage. It was so tight on him. Steve Mays is a big guy for people that don't know. He's a big guy. He's a big guy. He's my boxing coach. And so it physically fit on him, but it didn't fit.

It was so tight. So they had tailors that were there. They could put extra panels in the underarms to make the whole entire thing bigger. So they're out there. They're flown out to my fight was in Chicago. They're flown to Chicago. They have all their equipment there. They took his actual clothes and they made it bigger and made it fit so he'd have it on fight night.

So all the money covers their salaries and then everything else goes to the fighters. It'd be nice if UNC was more transparent about it and that would silence a lot of people because some people think they took like, I'm making this up, it's not in fact, but half of it went to us

and the other half goes to the fighters. But if it was 65, no, if it was 64 won, for example, like a million bucks for the management and 64 million for the fighters then that might put people's minds at ease. If I were you, I wouldn't tell anyone anything. I would keep my mouth shut because no matter what you do, you're wrong.

You might be right. You're still going to be upset about how much money each individual fighter is getting. People complain about everything constantly. It's a no-win situation. I know, and I've talked to Joe in private, one thing that he likes about the deal is that he doesn't have another job of finding sponsors before his fight.

He'd focus more on fighting as opposed to whatever. It's definitely a lot easier. That's why I can't practice Muay Thai. I'm constantly working on sponsors. Otherwise, I'd be a ruby belt. What did I say? Ruby belt. In Muay Thai, I'd have three geese on when i roll up in there

people don't know i can hang i just got on a train like in a lot of these guys that are coming up like they don't they haven't dealt with sponsors in the past like i have one sponsor that burned me on like 15 grand i had a manager that's burned me on like close to 30 grand like there's all kinds of issues that end up happening with sponsors and management and stuff like that. So you got to realize that, okay, coming from Reebok, you're not going to get screwed. You're dealing directly with the UFC and Reebok and that's it. There's no shadiness that's going to go on. Is Metamorris paying on time?

So I got half my money from Metamorris. So the event was May 9th, I think, or 8th. It was the first week in May. And then we were supposed to get paid. It was like 45 days later. It was like June 15th I think, or 8th. It was the first week in May. And then we were supposed to get paid. It was like 45 days later. It was like June 15th or something, June 16th. And that day came. I emailed them like, hey, what's going on?

And they told me, oh, we didn't have your tax info. So I sent them my tax info like a day or two later. They told me, okay, it'll go out July 1st. July 1st came, didn't come. July 4th or 6th came. It was like right after 4th of July weekend. And I texted Halleck. I'm'm like hey like what's going on like you're like two weeks past due at this point you know tell me what's going on and

they sent me half the money pretty much right away and I'll have the other half and a couple weeks I guess the show didn't do very well I so I don't know but I'm I'm content I'm convinced that they're going to pay me. They haven't made good on when they were supposed to pay me. Fair enough. And honestly, I do think that the show probably got killed on sales because there was a lot of stuff that was going on. So Joe Rogan is really good friends with Eddie Bravo. And Eddie Bravo runs the Eddie Bravo Invitational,

which is like the only competition of Metamorris, really. There's Metamorris and EBI. And Rogan was speaking out against how Metamorris was signing people to exclusive contracts, and that's not good for the sport and all that stuff. It's like, dude, you work for the UFC. They have 450 fighters under exclusive contracts. You can't say that, oh, it's great for the UFC and it's terrible, and Metamorris shouldn't be doing it. It's the same thing.

So they got killed because of all the pressure because of that. And then Halleck said something about how people don't want to watch women do jiu-jitsu or something like that or they don't care as much. And everyone killed him saying it's sexist and this and that. So they got killed because of that. And on top of it, jiu-jitsu is just not a very big sport. You're not going to have people crawling over each other to order Matamoros. So you piss off a lot of people for one reason piss off a lot of people for another reason and the show

audience yeah and they had no gate they had no gate either they they tried something new where there was like pretty much no spectators like they did not sell tickets dude so i mean in terms of pay-per-view i so i buy uh more ufc's than most people do i think and um this is like the pay-per-view event i just recently discovered going to the movies to catch ufc that was so great i really like really experience yeah yeah i haven't done that they've asked me about going to like a movie theater and like hosting it and hanging out but i haven't actually done it like that i like it i think it would be really late i feel like i feel like that would be low it wouldn't be as uh i don't know annoying as you might think it would be really late. I feel like that would be low. It wouldn't be as, I don't know, annoying as you might think it would be.

Because even just with the audience, it was kind of, it was like we were in a stadium or something. Everybody was clapping and cheering. And a lot of, when McGregor won, people walked out. People walked out. This guy who was like maybe 50 years old and his wife, he was like, stood up, gone. As soon as the fight was over. guy who is like maybe 50 years old his wife he was like like stood up gone as

soon as the fight was over yeah at the end of the first I think it was something McGregor was on the ground he was getting hit real hard and the old guy was like cut him fucking cut him dude so you probably if UFC fans know the fight before that Lawler versus McDonald they would shoot on I can't get his name Rory McDonald right like he just had this like Expressionless face and and somehow his like pupil and cornea or people and retina were gone And any just like it white eyes like like he left his soul in the corner Yeah, like he was a soulless killing machine ready to go do this and the

killing machine ready to go do this and the place started clapping and cheering it was like being at an event as opposed to my home experience where I typically just put my feet on the desk and watch on my computer there was a part at the end of the fourth round same fight or Lawler McDonald where um they like I don't know what happened but they were separating and then like one guy stood right there so the next guy they didn't want to go back to their corners They just wanted to keep going Could be wrong but again that the theater just like was so happy they were like cheering and stuff There's a stare down in the middle of fight. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there's a stare down mid fight and

And in like that it wasn't a movie theater experience as much as it was like a stadium experience, but with fewer people. That's awesome. That sounds more appealing to me than going to a bar or something because I'm sure everyone there is going because they want to watch the fight. As opposed to you go to a bar, it's like people are there to drink and they'll kind of watch the fight. So it's – That's specifically – yeah, I can't imagine me being in a bar and being like, shh, shh. I can't hear Rogan. Or the opposite, them telling you to stop yelling and cheering every time something awesome happens.

Yeah. Or it's on one TV and it's not on another TV. Oh, I didn't even think of that. It's like, oh, I'm watching soccer. No, the movie. Oh, and it's cheaper. So it's not – I don't know if it's the same everywhere, but where we went it was $20. It's not bad.

Is it $70 now? Is that the new pay-per-view price? I think that's the price for the HD one, yeah. So we definitely saved $10. Oh, combined. Yeah, he's saying three times $60. But if I watch it by myself, which is a more common experience for me, then I pay $70. If I go to the theater, not only is it a giant screen,

but there's other people who are enhancing my experience here, and there's access to slushies and stuff. I really enjoyed that idea. Or you go to Walmart and smuggle in snacks. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. That was my idea, and at first I was kind of kidding, but these two really took to it hard. We went to Walmart, and they were stuffing pockets full of candy.

I make Katie stuff her bag. There's five guys next to the theater we go to, so I make her stuff her bag with cheeseburgers. That's next level. That's next level. I brought a bag of M&M's, although I'll admit it was a large bag of M&M's. My buddy Lorenzo snuck in a burrito one time. It was like a cuba right there

and all you could smell was the fucking cheese and beans we used to sneak out at cisco on on actually we only did it once or twice but but we watched movies and uh we bring in a six pack of beer that was our thing we bring it i don't it wasn't really beer it was uh woodpeckers like this sort of like a cider thing but uh apple cider yeah but um anyway it's pretty cool like i had two beers during the movie so well there's worse things to smuggle into a movie theater absolutely you gotta try cheeseburgers you gotta try cheeseburgers next time it's so good five guys sound so good in particular i was gonna do Five Guys today and I just didn't. The last minute I decided not to and I've been regretting it all day.

I'd just like to have a Five Guys burger and try to convince him I bought it here. What? No, I guess... What? They're selling these out! There's a guy with a car! Hey, yeah, I'm not that with a car! I'm not that with a car! I'll sign a bill! There's a guy with a car. Hey, yeah, I'm not that with a car. I thought you were outside.

So do we want to talk about the trip? We could, but I have another thing I want to talk about. I've been saving up this topic for a few hours now. I want to watch a video together. For some reason, I'm having a hard time loading any links on my internet. It's like my internet's not working despite the fact that you and I are having this conversation right now. This is the video you want to watch. It says DNS probe finished.

Bad config. Can you switch over to the other internet line? Yeah, but you might lose me for a second. Yeah. It's worth it. It's worth it. Yeah. This is a video we're going to watch together.

I'm giving Joe too much lead time. He knows what it is. He saw the URL. I can't tell if Kyle's just not moving much or if he's changing his internet. Oh, you think Kyle owns the call. All right. Well, then we have to bring this back. I've returned.

Oh, wow. Well, that was quick. All right. So bring back your video, please. My camera won't come back on. Mine won't either. Group video is unavailable at the moment. Please try again a little later.

All right. Let's hang up and call back. Call us. Group video is unavailable at the moment. Please try again a little later. Alright, let's hang up and call back. Alright. This looks like it's gonna work. Ta-da! Alright! Everyone but Joe. Working on it. Cool! Oh, that actually fixed it, yeah.

Very good. Alright. Queue up at zero. This is a great video. I am... Hang on one second. I'm at zero. Let me put this on HD. Yeah, 380p. That's what I want.

All right. I'm queuing at zero. I blame Joe. Are we watching the video, me and my brother? Yeah. All right. Are you ready? No, I have an. Yeah All right, are you ready? No, I have an advertisement. All right, I'll wait for you

Picturing the music still there Tell me when you're ready, I am ready ready set play Joe is taking this big brother thing to the next level here I'm messing around this is Joe and his brother fucking around Neon took his back I hate that take down don't you get it was pretty yeah grass sucks

beats concrete yes class look at this triangle He's hitting. Oh, there it is. You let go. Pushed you. You pushed him back.

Don't forget who the fucking alpha is in this family. Oh, there it is. There it is. Round two. Look at you just pounding your brother's face. It was a lot longer than this, too. This is only a small group. He looks like he's in somewhere. Was that a Brazilian tap?

Kind of, yeah. Oh, chit-chat. So I probably deserve the punch. I want to hear about that. So this whole entire thing started. First of all, I fought like a couple days before this. I had just come back. I fought a kid, Tim Honeycutt.

And I kneed him in the head. The whole fight was like 10 seconds long. Definitely my shortest fight. I literally walked across the cage, threw two punches, kneed him in the head, knocked him out. So I was in fight shape I was in really really good shape Danny was drinking and shit faced at the

this is like my family's pig roast this is like the first year and the last year yeah it was it went on for a while but basically Danny was being an asshole and Danny was being drunk and just running his mouth non- to all his friends, like mulled it off to me, says he can kick my ass, all that sort of stuff.

Can I interrupt for a second? For people that don't know, Joe's brother Danny is a certified badass. He's got gigantic hands. He has a couple of fights in the UFC and some other like, you know, big organizations. His brother's a pro fighter, too. Danny's the youngest fighter ever in the UFC. So Danny's very, very good. But he's running his mouth

kind of being an asshole at the party a little bit. And his friends know that I'm the only one that they can probably deal with him at the party. So they start mulling it off like, Dan, you should go kick Joe's ass. Or Joe, you should kick Danny's ass. They're trying to instigate. And I'm not getting involved because I'm not drunk.

Danny's drunk. And then my dad comes over to me and kind of gets really close, just whispers in my ear, he's like, kick his ass. So I'm like, okay. So I put on gloves, and I know how Danny is. Do you just carry gloves and a mouth guard with you in case? Well, this is my parents' house. This is where we lived at the time.

It's our house. I have my gloves. I have my mouthpiece. Danny has the same. I tell Danny right off the bat, we're doing one fight. That's it. One time. That is it. I'm not doing it again. He's like, I'm only going to need one time

or something like that he's saying to me. So I'm like, okay, just as long as we're clear, we're doing this one time. It was okay. And I cracked him with a hook. He threw a couple punches on me. I took him down. I slammed him. I submitted him.

So when I submitted him, he kind of pushed me, and that is when I got off and I pushed him back. And he called me like a pussy, and I called him back a pussy. And you see me right away. I take off the gloves. So you're angry at this point. I'm not i'm not angry but he's my brother so we're a little competitive so um i was annoyed that like after after he gave up he decided to try and push me so i was a little annoyed about that so i'm taking off my gloves i'm done you know he's like let's go again let's go again i'm like this is how this goes like this

is not gonna happen like i said one you You had your chance. We're done. So he keeps it up, keeps it up, keeps it up. Again, my dad comes over, kick his ass. So I got to do what my dad tells me. So I put on the gloves. And this time, I get him in a choke. And I'm like, he's not on the point of going unconscious, but I'm sunk on the choke.

And I squeeze pretty hard. And he taps. And then right after he taps, on the point of going unconscious, but I'm sunk on the choke, right? And I squeeze pretty hard, and he taps. And then right after he taps, like, I give it one extra little, like, I give it, like, one extra little squeeze just to, I mean, because I tapped him out the first time, and he wasn't convinced that that was enough. So I want to give him a little extra for the second time. That was when he got up and he swung on me. And, I mean, I probably deserved it.

That was a surprise. I probably deserved it i wasn't surprised i probably deserved it right but yeah no wait was there a fight after that one or did that how it ended that video was edited weird they they took like they showed the first fight and then it showed like the the first half of the second fight after the second half so it was the video was edited weird i have the video somewhere yeah um i don't think i could could share to you guys, but I do have it. So how many times do you guys, like, kick ass in the Joe Lozon family reunion? Every pig roast.

That was really the only time. That's not even true because I know there was a leg kick contest at at least one of these things. Yeah, I wasn't involved with that, though. But, yeah, we have the pig roast. That's on my YouTube if you want to show that. How long is it? It's short. There's a couple, but it's pretty short.

Find a link. I could help, probably. I'll get it for you. A leg kick contest. Is this an endurance contest? Pretty much. That sounds awful. I'd win by not participating.

That is the best way to win. I'm right with you. You couldn't talk me into that. It's right up there with Latay. There's two. They're both kind of the same. Which one should we watch? I just have one, actually have one actually watch the second one

I said second one. I think the second one's a little better. It's a little bit longer, but it's better Good lord, are we ready? Yep ready set play play so these two guys are brothers this is Doug Brown and Eric Brown so Doug Doug is on the right he fights at 155 he was actually my last fight before the UFC he started channeling us right after so there's Doug's on the right and then Eric's on the left Eric fights at like 185 and 205. so eric's a lot bigger but doug uh is a better kickboxer huh i'm not sure who's gonna win i'm gonna holy smokes they lay into each other that was a little high you think uh as long as it's not to cut the thigh that was that's all that matters so you kick someone, you want to hit him just above the knee,

right at the really thin part of your knee. That's like the best spot because that's like the least amount of muscle. I feel like he's hitting him in the butt. The big guy. He is kicking a little high. Again, he's the bigger guy, but he's not as good of a kickboxer. He's not as accurate. Yeah, and maybe the

smaller guy's kind of sitting down on it, knowing how to take it. Yeah. But they're giving it to each other that he could tell that one hurt see how he sits down on it like that yeah he leans into it too there's Jimmy Quinlan on the right hold that it in the brown yeah wow there's guido you can see guido's on the far right side he's like the chubby kid in the the black t-shirt and tan pants people on pka know jimmy quinlan uh so who's your new wrestling coach or grappling coach new new grappling coach is frank camisa so frank is uh frank is a really good friend of jimmy's he's the

frank is the head wrestling coach at bridgewater state college uh-huh uh for my last couple fights all the fights i've been working on wrestling with jimmy i've been drilling frank has been the guy i drill with and work with so it's it's not that different it's just that jimmy's not actually there jimmy was kind of like structuring the workouts before whereas frank is doing it now but i think frank is a little more is a little bit more like me uh just in kind of style for grappling and whatnot so i think it's worked out pretty well this guy's drinking beer during the like content 10 that pain i was at with kyle was too at joe's wedding and i'm like secretly afraid something like this is going to break out there was so many fighters there like you just cauliflower ears all over the place dude how awesome was it for Bert to come it was so awesome I was

like the best thing ever oh well I just missed it who just kicked a little guy yeah yeah I'll take the other right and The big one looks like he's emotionally done. Oh, he went for the inside leg kick. Well, yeah, because he just gave him one. Doug kicked inside first. Eric did too. Which way am I going to go? Which way am I going to go?

Is that what he's saying? Yeah, I think so. I would have thought he just drilled the same spot but I guess not and there's Chuck O'Neill is on the far right in the back corner the top right corner Chuck Chuck fights the UFC too he's had a couple fights oh oh and there's Danny with the camera Danny with the camera oh he kicked him in the that's like a kidney shot wasn't it I didn't see that coming.

Oh, there's Andy. Is that Andy? Yeah. That was when Andy was on his way to fat Andy. He wasn't quite fat Andy. He was on his way up or down? He was on his way up at this point. I kicked Andy in the leg so hard so many times because he was smoking cigarettes.

Recently or back then? Back then. How's Andy doing? Andy's doing great. He's good. He got his... He's got a car now. He doesn't have a license yet.

He's got the blow thing in it. But he has to... That's right. He's got to... For the DUIs, he's got to blow into it to start the engine, right? Yep. So, but he's had it for like two months, but he needs an appointment to go and get his license.

His actual license. Who won? The big guy? I think the bigger guy. I think, yeah. I missed the last kick. That was fucking intense. He's going to have a wicked bruise. Oh, they're going to show him off.

They would limp it pretty bad. I want to see this bruise or red mark or whatever's left. Inside one. It doesn't even look that I mean doesn't look bad now tomorrow it's gonna look fresh. Yeah. Nice tomorrow. Yeah. There's Quinlan again in the brown. So would Andy have to start his DMV test with... You can start scoring now. Pretty much. How long does he have the breathalyzer in his car? I think like a year, two years, I think. And he's pissed because you have to pay to get it calibrated.

So he's paid for two months, and the time doesn't even start until he gets his license. So he's pissed because you've got to get it calibrated every month. So he spent like a couple hundred dollars already to get it calibrated. What kind of car does he have? He got a pickup truck. Did he get a Tacoma? He did. Nice. Yeah, and here we thought.

That's so ridiculous. I feel like I've never seen one of those in real life, but I'm aware that they exist. You should make a video of him using this thing or something and put it on the internet. It would be so funny. Oh my god, it would be so funny. Oh, my God. It would be so funny if he didn't know how to drive a stick, all right?

But he got a stick, so every time it stalled, he'd have to turn it back on. God damn it. Get out of the intersection. I'm blowing as hard as I can. It's super temperamental, too. Like, if you have, like, buffalo chicken and you try to blow like that, we'll give it, like, a positive thing, so it'll have to be cleared. Like, there's all kinds of food and stuff like that that'll mess up.

Oh, man, that's rough. So it's pretty crappy. What's his last name? Andy Aiello. A-I-E-L-L-O. Looking up his fight record on Sherdog. See how he's coming along. He is on a three-fight win streak.

Andy's been doing well. Huh. What weight is he? He fights at 125. He walks at like 150, 145, 150, somewhere in there. I just... How many wins do you think he is away from the UFC? Honestly,

almost no one gets into the UFC now just on their own. Almost everyone comes to the Ultimate Fighter. So you have to do an Ultimate Fighter at his weight, or he has to just be ready. And when someone else gets hurt at 125, they're looking for someone. We're on the short list for people. They would give us a call, hey, is Andy ready to go? Really?

It could happen, but obviously it would be less than ideal. But if he lost that fight they would they would let him come back with a full camp on another fight is that something he looks forward to and and thinks about that like yeah if this guy you know if there's a card coming up with a guy his size five and they're fighting his weight classes he like oh maybe this guy gets hurt maybe is that something he looks no honestly and he doesn't follow at all like he doesn't like if i fight he'll watch or proctor fights but other than that he doesn't follow at all. If I fight, he'll watch. Or Proctor fights. But other than that, he doesn't even watch.

God, if it's me, I'm watching. I'm like, oh. I think so, right? I'm watching a 125 fight tonight on the card. I better, you know, coming up in two months, maybe one of these guys gets hurt. I'm watching it like a hawk. He was hanging there two weeks before the fight. When I fought Kiyosaki in Connecticut, it was pretty close.

So he was watching that card pretty close to see if anyone fell out, but no luck. Well, I wish him luck. I'd like to see him on TV. And he's one of my best training partners. He's always like... I'm bigger than him, so it's like we kind of have to preserve his brain as much

as possible, but... Yeah, it's not working. Yeah, it's not working so well. He would have done before, though. I don't know. But he's right there. I mean, possible but that's not not working yeah it's not working he was dumb before though i got all but uh but he he's he's right there i mean he he's good skill wise he's he's really dumb but he's right there skill wise like he he'd do well he'd be i i who's dumber jeremy or or andy uh oh jeremy's much dumber okay okay But Andy's pretty close on some things, though. Joe has met Jeremy. He rolled with him. He's been on one trip.

Yeah, yeah, that's right. You guys had a little wrestling match out there in the grass. I remember that. Yeah. I like Jeremy. Yeah, Jeremy's a nice guy. Jeremy's married now, has his own kid and, like, a stepkid. Scary.

Yeah, yeah, he's doing. If I'm ever in a car that he's driving, that'll be too soon. Dude, it was good. So I'm in the back seat giving Jeremy shit about his horrible driving, right? I'm giggling at how harsh he's being. It's so bad. I think Kyle was in the front seat if I remember right, but it's not important. What's important is that Joe was there.

So Jeremy's getting upset. And by the way, his driving really is awful. He's bad. He's not important. What's important is that Joe is there. So Jeremy's like getting upset. And by the way, his driving really is awful. He's bad. He's really bad. The car in front of him hits the brakes. He hits the gas and then just triples down on the brakes so that he doesn't hit him. You know, if he misses a turn, he'll go miles looking for a U-turn because just like U-turning is not like a thing that he could do.

Or, you know, like if you kind of figure out the whole city's laid in a grid, if you miss your turn, you can just take the next one and come around. These concepts are not registering with Jeremy. The whole thing is terrible. And sometimes I'm not saying anything. I'm just laughing. We're trying not to because he's sensitive

about that sort of thing. He's mad at this point. He's up front and he's fuming. And this Jeremy guy, you don't know. He's mad at this point. And he's like, he's up front and he's fuming. And this Jeremy guy, you don't know, he's strong as fuck. Jeremy would kick my ass. But like, at the time, he was spending all his day carrying several five pound buckets

of dead chickens. Like, he would just clear out. Imagine, you know, 40 pounds in at least one of your hands all day. And just walking. Like, doing like, what are those, what do you call them when you walk with a weight in each hand? Farmer's walk, farmer's carry. There you go. Perfect.

Exactly. He's doing those all day legit. So he's just, he's built. He's strong. His forms are like Popeye shit going on there. They're quite thick. They're just big and strong and I'm laughing at his horrible driving under the safe protective umbrella of Joe Lozon quite a bit and you could see Jeremy's like body language changed like

like he had his right hand on the steering wheel right he's like like because we're over there like like over there and he's driving like this he's like yeah yeah cigarette out the window like doesn't even want to look at us over there and them in the back seat he's just pouting and it's waiting to drive and like it'll get real quiet for a while and everybody's kind of waiting for him to do something else you know because that because you don't want to laugh at him because you can tell you've kind of offended another adult right thanks in the same instance so like we all know that at this point we were even texting we had like a three-way like joking about dying on the way to the pizza place and everything and like so we're so the next time he fucks up i know we're all gonna break out laughing or somebody Like joking about dying on the way to the pizza place and everything. And like,

so we're, so the next time he fucks up, I know we're all going to break out laughing or somebody. And you're just waiting on it to happen. The next time he like, you know how they had those like, like speed humps in like residential areas. Well,

there was kind of like a, I don't know, like a bar and restaurant type district. And it had those and he'd hit him so fucking hard or he wouldn't see them coming or he'd slam on the brakes multiple times he was just like right on the brakes everybody leaning forward like seatbelts actually locking and restricting you and we're all just like

the fuck I didn't see it alright Joe who would give a worst post fight interview Andy or Jeremy? Andy. Andy would be worse. Andy would be worse.

I completely agree. Jeremy would be funny, and he would actually say something. Andy is, like, pissed off. Like, he knocked a kid out with an elbow and looked like his dog died. And then he catches a fish, and he's the happiest kid you've ever seen in your life. He talked about this at your wedding. He was like like that's kind of part of the gig though right you know being an entertainer do you need to get up there you need to say a thing and he's like nah i'm just gonna keep knocking people out that'll be mine i think it'll be the guy who knocks people

the fuck out and i'm just like well you got you're kind of right there but do the other thing wouldn't hurt but the thing he's talking about is really hard to do in the UFC. Add the other thing. I always tell him, it's like you're doing the same amount of work, but you get paid $100 for this or you get paid $1,000 for this. Just fucking smile and talk a little bit and you get paid 10 times as much.

He doesn't want to listen. He freaking hates UFC fans. He hates anyone that likes fighting. He hates them. He wants to fight fight he's not fighting for them he's fighting for him dude i'm guilty about watching fighting now part of it's lozon in the brain damage not in those on rogan in the in the brain damage talk are you saying no i i i mixed up my joes um when he was talking to Brendan Schwab about the brain damage, I think he did another podcast too, another episode of his podcast,

where he was just unsure whether he still wants to be a UFC guy because of the brain damage that can happen to the fighters. And when I watched something like the Lawler-McDonald fight, people were comparing it to Fraser Ali and that those guys would never be the same again. And I think they might be wrong. I think they'll be the same again. But it's a guilty pleasure for me at this point.

I definitely think that, I mean, there's definitely a real possibility about that. But I think that a lot of times you have guys that have really, really bad issues like that. it's because it's not really from the fight it's from the it's the fact they spar like that in the gym every single day for you know 15 years i think i think that's the bigger issue i was talking to joe and he said yeah yeah you know if i lose like five percent of my brain i think i'm still better than most. I'll be fine. Kyle. So much energy.

So the serving size on these is 10 to 20 puffs. But if you do 10 of them at a time... Can you make them all light up? You can. Hang on, let me turn the light off. One second. He doesn't have time to draw on it 10 times, all right? Just a busy guy. He's multi-threaded there in his vaping.

There you go. He stepped up his game. Joe, do you use your IT background much at all? Not too much. It helps for doing website stuff and Facebook and stuff like that, but not too much. Alright. I try to like, any time they watch me I'm like... You look good in the dark!

Look at that. It's like a lightsaber sticking out of his mouth. Well, I think a couple did light... Oh, they lighted in the end. They lit in the end. I got them all right and did Miss them that time yeah, I don't really give you a hard time about it hey yeah, yeah, that was a win So I don't know. I don't know what that dosage would would amount to but my left ear just stopped working to, but my left ear just stopped working.

That's how you know you're super energized. You don't need to hear. You don't need time to hear. I really do feel a little funny right now. I really do feel a little shaky. Yeah, I feel like all that guarana and the chlorine is just pulsing through my lungs. A little ginseng in there. Yeah, yeah.

I definitely got a buzz going on right now. I feel like, I mean, sure, these things have energy and all, that's good, but I'm pretty sure you can get a pretty good high off these things if you really get them cranking. Now they sent me like this storefront box, right, with ten of them in it. And if you want to get high, I think that's the trick. You want ten of these. But you really gotta puff on them hard. After all you have to go to the doctor get a prescription it's a whole ordeal this you just we got a fucking opcode for this shit like this is this is legit

jesus his his eyes is now a good time to corner joe that's my favorite thing about dogs is when you're like feeding them snacks is like uh whenever feed my dad's dog, its eyes get so enormous. It's a little dog, so naturally, I guess, well, unnaturally because of us, their eyes are bigger than their skulls. So like its eyes just bulge so huge when it sees like a piece of meat or something. I'm going to turn my lights on and I want to get a cup of coffee because I want to really take advantage of this guarana and torcine that I'm inhaling. But after that, I want to talk about the other thing. Yeah.

We can do that. Good. Let me see. The other thing. Oh, I have a couple topics here. You guys want to talk about Chris Christie? What's he doing now?

Chris Christie has come out and said that if he is elected president, he will actively go after states that have legalized marijuana. He considers it a gateway drug, and he said, if you're getting high in Colorado today, enjoy it. As of January 2017, I will enforce the federal laws. He's such an asshole. He's so bad about it in New Jersey. They've got medical marijuana, I think, in New Jersey.

But it's like you can only have it for this one ailment and you can't get it anywhere in New Jersey. So, like, it was a weird thing to pass but didn't really go through but he's super anti-marijuana so i believe that he would actually do that and be an asshole but uh is he even has he even come out as running yes yeah he's running okay yeah well luckily luckily there's a different crazy person that's leading the polls right now. I'm not too concerned about Mr. I need three times my annual budget on cheeseburgers, Chris Christie, to take any votes away from Trump. I am loving this election season so far. People are going to get tired of it, but just crazy after crazy, it has been fantastic. Comics will make careers in the next year.

If you're mediocre comics, that's how The Daily Show really launched. It was the 2000 election and stuff like that. I think that also might be why. It's a shame Jon Stewart's leaving and I really wish he would be here for this. We saw the clip the other day of what he's been working with

from Trump just off this material. But I think it will be a great opening to Trevor Noah to give him this leap with the election. He should be able to make a good show out of it. But I'm looking forward to it. Why are you looking so confused, Joe? What's wrong? Can I help you with something?

No, I was checking something. All right. Very confused. Brandon, every time I fight, I try and track down all the photos I can from the fight. And I try to get, like, high-res versions. And sometimes I end up getting some printed up or whatever. And Brandon had some good ones. So he texted me.

He said he sent them to me. So I was checking what he had. When's your next fight? I have no idea. Honestly, the bigger thing, it sounds weird. But I want to see what happens. C-Maze has needed surgery on his elbow for a long time. He's got some kind of nerve damage.

He'll be holding mitts, and basically between baseball, baseball season kills him, and then holding mitts, his hands get all numb and tingling, and they've got to do some kind of surgery on his elbow. So I'm trying to get him to schedule a surgery soon so it doesn't mess up a fight camp. So I kind of want to see how I feel. Honestly, I want to see how I feel come, you know, mid-time next week after I've had a week or so off. Kind of see

how I feel. Because I definitely, I heard a couple things during training camp and I want to... Can you say what they are or you don't want to? You don't want to target them. Yeah, I mean, it's not so... I probably won't go into it, but just stupid nagging stuff. Like a sore elbow, sore hand, stuff like that.

I dislocated my little toe on my left foot. Just kind of stupid stuff. Did you just relocate it right on the spot? Yeah, I don't know if it really dislocated or what, but it was super sore. It fell down a whack. I might have broken it. It probably was more likely.

I think I broke my little toe. Wow. It's have broken it. It probably was more likely. I think I broke my little toe. Wow. It's just annoying. I want to take a full week off and just see. I've been at my gym, but I haven't been actually training. Kind of see how I feel next week and probably get another fight right away.

I don't want to wait too much. I broke my big toe once. I never broke my little toe. I broke it in four places at one time right before uh state championships and swimming sounds terrible yeah i just duct taped it fuck it i think um i think they say so i dislocated my little toe i think your your little toes are the most important toes really because it gives you your balance so like if you're talking like your toe has to be yeah but you can't go your big toes if this was your feet right you're like. So your little toes stop you from going to the left or going to the right.

Whereas your big toes are stopped. If your big toe isn't there, your other foot does all the work of that big toe. I think you'd stand on your big toe. It's what you, like, push off. No, your big toe is the least important toe. It's the most likely for you to stub it. What is that sound? Is that from you, Joe?

Nope. That's Kyle doing a voice. I think he's talking about the dog. It's definitely Kyle doing a voice. At first I thought it was maybe drama, but then I'm like, nope, that's a kitty impersonation. That was a kitty impression. Yeah, I kid.

kitty impersonation that was a kitty impression yeah i kid you what's kitty selling on etsy now i saw something on reddit oh man kitty's doing uh really well at that right now um so go check out kitty's etsy shop uh it's at paintball kitty on twitter you can find it there um she's selling everything from like these bath bombs which is like i don't know it's like it's tennis ball size thing. You throw it in the bath and it like, it's a, there's a, it's, it's like a Alka-Seltzer, but it, it's like bath salts, if that makes sense. So it's like an instant bath, like bubble bath with like bath salts in it and stuff for like pain.

And I guess it smells good too. Uh, but that's just like one of like a dozen products that she's got. She bought all this equipment. She spent months researching, testing, and making her own pain creams and pain salves. She's selling these essential oils right now and doing really well. There are like 150 orders recently, I think. That's awesome. She's doing really well with that.

She's selling a bunch of shit. My daughter. And she's selling. Go on. I'm sorry. I thought it was. No, no. Go ahead.

I was going to say she's selling like, I don't know, my, the FBS Russia candles. We came up with the smell like napalm and one that smells like bullshit, I think, soon. It literally smells like shit. It's so awful. But, yeah, so we're having fun with that. Send them to your friends. My daughter wanted to follow in her footsteps. So Hope is captain of her speech and debate team now. And in the summertime, she likes to go to these

speech and debate camps. I like your cup. I like the cup. The speech and debate camps. But the one she wants to go to next year is like $4,000 or $5,000, which is a lot. So her objective is to earn that much by next year. And she wants to follow in Kitty's footsteps without actively competing against her. And she's going after dishwashing detergent and laundry detergent, which is something Kitty's not doing right now.

Yeah. And I just wish it was more consistent i feel like she did it she was like making sample products we're using them here like we you know figuring out what works what doesn't work what packs how to ship it stuff like that and then it she didn't like it feels like it's died down a bit i'm like ah you know like it you gotta keep working at it like recently kitties has picked way up like she's she keeps getting shared by these other much larger like Instagram accounts and stuff like that with 50,000 users 30,000 users and you know, they're like It's like the right. It's the right 30,000 users, you know, like it's stuff like that

No, no, it's a bunch of you know, it's a bunch of chicks that are like I want some trendy bath bombs So it's perfect for it to get a share to them. And what else was she doing that helped a lot? With Hope, come back to that. It's tough as a parent because part of me wants to drive her and do this, do this. You can't be slack on this. If you want to be self-employed, you need to be self-motivated, et cetera. But on the other hand, I don't want to be her you know self-employed you need to be self-motivated so etc but on the other hand i

don't want to be her motivation right like i can't be dragging her into doing this work what if your father had said the same thing um the hell would my father say something along the lines of like i'm so disappointed in you you're not even an entrepreneur yet. You're already 16. I remember – we were just talking about my wife today. So my father always made me work, which was part of, I think, my bad grades and depression, et cetera. I just didn't have any happiness. And I – Way to keep this light-spirited.

Right? So after school – Sleep over. Yeah. All right. After school, I had the awesome job of selling shoes and uh this was back when you actually put the shoes on the people and stuff you're a cobbler and uh yeah at leon's men's store we sold shoes and stuff like that and mostly shoes anyway um i went to school all day and then i did work until dark and then i had

came home at night and i had some homework to do and my father came home he would get home at like 10 or something every day and he's like oh i'm tired and i gave him this look like you don't even know what hard work is right me like like six or 17 year old you you know, wisdom. And he was so proud that I gave him that look, you know, of like, like my son is exhausted and unhappy. Isn't this great? You know, he's a chip off the old block. And a shred of joy at all. Yeah, that that's what gave that's what made him happy about me so um he wasn't an advocate of the

whole you can work you have your whole life to work that was definitely not one of his ideologies it was out of the womb and in the assembly line i will take you to china and we're gonna start making nikes yeah i imagine i imagine your dad looking up uh biblical texts to prove that child labor laws are bullshit. No, no. In the Old Testament, three years old, you're in there. You're making those mud bricks, whatever you can do. Jesus was a carpenter at 13. Get to stepping.

13 is when I started working outside the house. I remember when I was 12. So it came up to me today. So I replaced a bunch of outlets in the house today because they were white and the room was brown. It would be nicer if they were brown. So I was swapping out outlets and Colin and I did it together. You put this thing in the wall, it lights up, and he tells me when I hit the right circuit breakers

and then I confirm it, I check all of them. He's unscrewing the wall plates, I'm swapping out the receptacles, etc. And I thought, huh, I did this too when I was 12 Except I didn't do it hand in hand with my dad I did it fucking solo and no one taught me about like turning off circuit breakers or anything so Man, what's that not only was child labor, but there were no safety protocols exactly and I was like a 1915 factory like like what's about right your dad henry ford like what is this so i put the plate on but the receptacle was crooked

so i take a screwdriver to the side of the receptacle to like lever it straight again but that's where like the power is and uh i get one of these like like these like it shocks me and I jump backwards right and the sparks go fucking everywhere the side of the wall is like scarred with blackness from the sparks and the circuit flipped and

another job has just been added to your chore list alright repaint the whole wall and I'm thinking to myself that would just never happen Your job has just been added to your chore list now. Alright, repaint the whole wall. Great work. And I'm thinking to myself, like, that would just never happen! I'd never have my kids at 12 years old! You're a terrible electrician! You learned a valuable lesson.

Hey, I got electrocuted. I ain't gonna do that shit again. Yeah, thankfully I have a natural immunity to electricity. It's thinkorswim over there, I'm gonna tell ya. Like, no wonder you're a great swimmer. I bet like three years old he threw you in a lake or something. Yeah. But yeah, I was doing electrical work

with no guidance or lessons or anything like that at 12. And obviously I did it wrong. I didn't know what I was doing. But as a guy who has a 12-year-old now, I'm just like, wow, I just can't believe that's how they did that. What you're saying is you're disappointed in Colin. That's the takeaway, Joe. You have to supervise.

I was an electrician at your age. Not a good one. I was an amateur electrician. I don't need to specify. You're an electricianian i don't think i would want to do that now like i understand how to do it and be safe turn off the circuit but i still think i wouldn't fuck with it i'd call my cousin working electrical work in particular bugs me like it reminds me a lot of when i've worked with explosives before because there's that aspect of if you make a mistake there could be seriously hurt or killed and it raises the stakes a little with carpentry it's like yeah keep your hand away from that blade you know with with

plumbing that's similar like we had to cut yourself with a hacksaw but when you get into electrical work it's like especially if you're working with with 220 or bigger you know if you're hooking a washing machine up and I guess that's really the only case where most people do that. A stove, something like that. That shit can kill you or can mate you badly. Because it's invisible and can kill you. That's where I'm the most comfortable. It's because my brother's an electrician so I have him as my personal Google. I've sent him pictures of circuit breakers with the covers removed and stuff and he'll tell me if it's done right or what I need to change.

He'll tell me which tools to buy so that he can properly talk me through their usage. And that was like a decade ago. I'm a little better now. But it's nice to have him so that I know that I did everything right. Yeah. Your fear of electricity is grounded. My dad's a man's man.

He can do everything. Carpentry, plumbing, electrical, welding, stonemason stuff, like anything. He's just like... Perfect, because he won a job. Yeah, he can do anything. But he doesn't fuck with electrical anymore because he tried to cut a 220 one time

and it was live. Supposed to be off. I think my Uncle Bill was the one that checked the circuit breaker and he was telling my dad it was off. It wasn't off. My dad started to cut it. He think my Uncle Bill was the one that checked the circuit breaker and he was telling me Adam was off. It wasn't off. My dad started to cut it. He was down in a crawl space. He's down in a crawl space, down in this

little tiny asshole, can't see anything. Being told the line's off, he goes to try and cut it and it wasn't off. Shocked a bad knee. He won't touch electrical now. It's like, fuck that. If only he had a natural immunity to electrical. What's the story with this natural immunity to electricity? It's like, fuck that. If only he had a natural immunity to electricals. If only, yeah. What's the story with this natural immunity to electricity? It's bullshit.

Go get that dog collar and show us, big man. I want to see the dog collar. It's a gift. I actually don't. I think we got rid of that in the mood. Uh-huh. There's got to be an outlet in frame. What's behind you?

My uncle was operating a car jack one time. Like, sorry. My uncle was operating a car jack one time. It's all metal. You crank it to lift the car. And lightning hit a tree nearby. It ran in the ground and got him through the thing and knocked him flat on his ass. And he couldn't move for a little while. They had to carry him inside the house. Wow.

And then my cousin actually was inside of a building and touching a piece of metal machinery. And lightning hit the building and he got hit so bad he was just like he said it was just the worst pain ever he was crying like he was immediately like stricken like just sobbing uncontrollably when he was like maybe 17 something like that so both of them my uncle and his dad have been kind of the half-assed hit by lightning the the story with the electricity vulnerability i never even told it it there was a refrigerator in my friend's garage and it um it like got wet like condensation and stuff on it and it was like rusty piece of shit pretty much refrigerator outdoors that's not

supposed to be and um if you touched it it shocked you and my friends would just like touch it and make a big fucking show out of like i'm getting shocked i'm getting shocked and i'm like i do not see the big deal you know just like touching the refrigerator nothing and uh it made me think as a kid that i actually did have some sort of like invulnerability to electricity because everyone else was was doing it i think in reality it wasn't that i'm impacted differently by electricity it's that you know how you get to control your own reaction to pain right like you know you could theoretically burn a hole in your hand and if like you didn't even have to pull away like you could just act like it doesn't hurt you get to control how you respond to pain.

And I was not making a big show out of it, and everybody else was. Yeah, I was going to say, you're not immune. They're just pussies. Yes. That's how you probably know about this. So I have horses. So we have an electrical fence for the horses, right? And it's not like a direct current. It's just it pulses.

So it's like zap zap zap and if you just i'm sure you've touched the fence but if you grab you can grab onto the line if you hang on nice and tight it doesn't really bother you at all like you'll feel the slight pulse through your hand but it doesn't hurt you at all because it has to art through the air yeah when you squeeze like all your muscles are tight so it's not too. But if you just barely graze along it, it shocks, it scares the crap out of you because it makes your muscles jolt. But also, it's the arc. It's the arc jumping out and getting you.

If you take shoes off, you'll really get an idea of what the fence is like. We used to piss on it. We used to piss on it. I did that one time and nothing happened but i wasn't barefooted they did it on mythbusters and um they said that it doesn't hurt you and then they did like a follow-up and they're like oh actually it's possible that it can get you i don't know why it might be i know uh for at least our fans like if you were kind of close where it started basically makes like a big loop right so if you're pretty close to where it starts and you touch it, the shock

is much, much worse than if you're a ways down the line. So maybe... Did peeing on the fence, did you get a shock cock? Pretty much. He's a superhero. It's not good. Survival talk?

Yes. Joe, we're scheduling a big survival trip. You down? When? That's the thing about scheduling. So August 5th? When does squirrel hunting season start in Georgia? August 13th.

Wow, I did have it. I think it's August 13th. August 13th. I'm looking. What day of the week is that sometime next month is like four days five days august 15th yeah sometimes late next sometime late next month yeah the second half of august yeah that's perfect you get 12 per day steve may will be healing up his elbow you have no mitts to hit anyway. Yeah.

I'm boxing. I'm training again on Monday. He's getting back in there. At least until he gets surgery. I definitely can't do the 31st on. I'm going to be in Maine with Chris. Which month? Of August.

Okay. I can probably do the week before that. Oh, how long should it be? It's that week. Should it be the 24th or the 28th? Well, he said he can't do the 31st. And I have a guy fighting. I definitely have to be home for Saturday the 29th. Because I have a guy fighting on the 29th.

It's a big fight. We could do 24 to 28. It still pretty much works. You'd be home. What if we left on the 29th. It's a big fight. We could do 24 to 28. It still pretty much works. You'd be home. What if we left on the 20th? Okay. Because you come in on the 24th and you leave on the 28th. Yeah.

I mean, we could probably do that. Where are we doing it? What are we doing? What's the plan? We're talking about Georgia. I found some rivers in Georgia, but Kyle said he was also going to look at some places. He wanted to do a little scouting, make sure there were squirrels there.

Joe, how good are you at fishing? I'm pretty good at fishing. I think it's different, though, between regular fishing and fishing with no gear. You can bring gear. I don't care. Whoa, whoa, whoa. So what's... I need to eat, Joe.

Joe, last time we brought two fishing rides. Not only did we not catch a fish, I couldn't find an insect for the hook. Really? It was hard. You need to bring a hot dog. That would have been great. I would need a hot dog.

All right. We can each of us go. I'm going to take like 60 seconds here and give you an idea of what I would like the survival trip to be. And then maybe each of you take a turn. If you've got an issue with anything I say, I'd like to hear it. And then maybe we'll have a rebuttal series. So I think Georgia is a good idea because its hunting season falls right in line with the warm part of the year. It's a very southern state without going all the way to florida where the swamps are so i think north georgia

somewhere in the mountains on uh like public land somewhere so we can hunt squirrel rabbit and uh usually august it won't be dove season yet but um squirrel rabbit and really any other small game there's a lot of stuff to eat i'd like to be somewhere where we can't we do have the ability though to like shoot small game and rely on that as our main source of food. I don't want to bring any actual food with us, like none. Only water purification stuff

and a 32-ounce bottle. Certainly not a Nalgene bottle, because they're cheap cocksuckers, but something like that and water purification. As far as tools go, last time we brought a bunch of stuff to kind of build our own shelter and I got a problem with that all over again. You guys saw what I brought. I brought like a basic, like a saw and a hatchet, a knife, and I brought a couple of gadgets, but they basically, what I just said,

sums it up. And yeah, so that's that, I think. I'd like us to build our own shelter. I'd like us to survive on our own food for three to five days, somewhere in there. And I want to be away from everybody else and actually kind of do this thing. I want to build a shelter and thrive, not just kind of live miserably.

It's pretty close. I'm thinking I'll bring a rifle, a knife, a sleeping bag, no tent, no food. I'd even bring a fishing rod, but the point is no food. So we have a new thing here. I'm sorry. You keep going. No, I'm about where I need to be. I don't have too much more. Oh, clothes. I'll probably bring warm clothes.

Surely. No loincloths right yeah i'm not gonna show up in my banana hammock as much as we'd all appreciate it all right doesn't seem safe well joe what do you want so i i would i would do it i think i'd be interested in that i would i would absolutely bring food though but seal it away and don't touch it because you guys got pretty fucked on a situation where you got like flash flood and everything else like I think you should definitely have stuff nearby and close in case something happens

if someone wants to bitch out and do whatever then they can but they'll be called on it forever one MRE is that it? one MRE? whatever I mean it could be anything it could be a case of bringing for all five days

bringing a cooler with sandwich meat yeah a cooler with what a cooler with sandwich meat or something I mean in bread or something

just I think it's I think it's bad to not have any kind of safety net or something like that but yeah I mean I I think bring all the

tools you want just don't bring don't bring food you're going to eat but definitely bring emergency food so Chiz mentioned this sort of but i've got a different spin on it he mentioned maybe bring food but having but like working for it i think at one point maybe there's

a cooler with a lock on it and we got to compete in some challenges to get the combination or something that might be a little awesome and then after like two days of eating, it devolves into, I got the meat! Sandwiched meat. See how tough you are with 622s in you. I will disagree with Joe on that one, though. I think no food. No food would be my thing. I think you're not going to access it, but bring it and keep it locked away so no one can cheat.

If it's emergency food and we all understand that that's what i'm saying and if we're helping someone's like i'm gonna eat that emergency bologna guys just so you know then we get the camera out and we watch absolutely yeah yeah like joe said you call him on it i think that's great it might make it worse because it's right there and you can't have it yeah yeah i'll never eat that emergency baloney and it should be emergency baloney too like there shouldn't be like nothing i want to eat it if it's an emergency like you got one of those like giant snickers bars in there that's bullshit there should be like bring bring like bring a bunch of protein bars bring like baloney and some bread or something like that like but keep everything locked away don't touch it i'd be okay with that as long as it was like

emergency food because we're gonna have to have that anyway if we do what i think we should do and find some way to get a camera man out there who would be because i feel like we're all capable of filming this thing and doing a good job but i don't know if we're going to be motivated and capable of doing what we needed to be doing out there you know to survive i guess and and do our thing and film the thing if If we had somebody who sold... I wonder if I could get Brandon to come out. He does all of my video blogs. He'd be good.

He would love to see us be tortured. Yeah, that's the thing, because he'd have food. That's what I'm getting at. Cameraman's going to have a cooler out there with some dry food in it. Yeah. Some canned food something

like that i guess cameraman be bribed i'd love to get patrick how i became but the flights from europe yeah expensive you know just getting him here you're looking at a couple grand yeah but but yeah i like all that one thing i noticed that woody added to the mix is the sleeping bag and i wanted to ask everyone how they feel about the sleeping bag. Is that something we definitely want to go with here? Chiz, what do you think about a sleeping bag? I am neutral.

You're neutral on sleeping bags. Joe, sleeping bags? I turn into the biggest fucking bitch ever if I don't get sleep. So I would say yes to sleeping bags. I can do without food. I can do without everything else, but I need to fucking sleep. Hmm.

Alright. Now, are we talking any grade of sleeping bag? Is this going to be like the creme de la creme? It's not that cold. He's not even going to build a shelter. He's going to zip himself up in one of those big ass ones and roll down the hill. The one that's got the head around your face. Dude, I have sleeping bags. You know what? Do you guys want to see one of my big ass ones and roll down the hill. The one that's got the head around your face. Dude, I have sleeping bags.

You know what? Do you guys want to see one of my warmest sleeping bags? That fucking Eskimo sleeping bag. Kyle, what part of Georgia are you flying to? Atlanta. Atlanta, because I think we all have to. I mean, I'll be getting into Atlanta too, but the places I was looking at was I looked at the area we were

for the Clayton area, and there's an area northeast that's also got a bunch of wilderness that's, like, the best wilderness in Georgia or something like that. Yeah, I think it would be better. The part is we have to find a spot that has running, has now running water, flowing water, and we have to get away from people, too. So, like, I picture getting on a trail and just going in the woods.

I'm going to look at private land. That'd be better, you know, but let's not let's not not do the trip because we couldn't find private land. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, finding a place is, we'll find a place, but, like, ideally I could find a friend or somebody who had

300 acres, something like that. We're not gonna be traveling a huge area. That would be good. I think it would be a lot of fun. There was so much hype around last year and I feel like it was a big letdown when I got sick and everything. Wings didn't show up and it was a big...

It was a bunch of bullshit when I felt like we really built the thing up to be big and I wanted it to be big and I wanted it to be successful. I didn't feel like we made it all it could be because we only were there one fucking day. And even though there was and then I didn't feel like we made it all it could be because we only were there one fucking day. And even though there was like, I don't know, 15, 20 videos made between Woody and myself.

By the way, the next time Woody makes fun of my dog paddling, we're totally getting that video of him crossing the river with that stick out there all shaky. Look at this. It even came with a hat. Oh, my God. I hope he falls down. It would be amazing.

What does he do? It has a hat that comes with it. That's great. It has the ears on it, too. I like that. Wow. It does have a button. Yeah, it Velcros under his chin.

It's like a cosmonaut survival suit. You would die in that. He just fell over right now and was stuck and had to just, CHICKEN! I'd love that. I'd love that. He's really in there good. You're good to go! Props to him for doing that.

He's in there real good. Yeah, I don't have a sleeping bag of that caliber. I'll say this. This is what I remember the most about last time is when I was sick, laying there on those sticks and stuff with that log as my pillow and just thinking

I'm not going to be able to sleep like this. I'm going to lay here all fucking night and get like 45 minutes of bad sleep. With chicken legs. I kept like feeling a crawling sensation on my thighs or my crotch and I'd always find a fucking tick. And I'd just like flick it off into the darkness

you know and wait for the next one. Maybe it would be nice to... And I was covered in that tick spray. I just couldn't keep them off. Are we adding things to the list now? Bug spray? No. Well, I think we had bug spray last time, but we should burn the undergrowth away

from wherever we make our cake, because we did not do that last time, even though we watched all those videos that told us to do so. Like, burn the leaves, get rid of the ticks, and shakers, and... Well, I'm excited about this thing. Obviously... Oh, we didn't even mention what the fuck taylor's not here this week because uh he's moving oh he's moving a new uh apartment um new city new job all

that stuff i think that's all he'd want us to really say about it but that's what he's doing right now that's why he couldn't do this he's in the transitional process of doing some moving yes yeah everyone thought it was moving the last time he missed, but he was actually on vacation. This time, he's actually moving. Hopefully, he'll be able to come along on this trip. I know we'd like to have him. That would be fun. He'd add his little

extra element of vitri out there in the wilderness. I really think it would be fun. Last time, it was me and Woody. That was a unique experience. It was cool for just the two of us to be out there. I think a group experience would be fun. Last time it was me and Woody and that was a unique experience. It was cool for just the two of us to be out there. But I think a group experience would be really interesting and a lot of fun. It'll be like Survivor.

It'll be like Survivor at times when there's decisions to be made. It's more than just me. Me and Woody can come to a consensus really quickly. It's rare that I'm like, I don't know. I think we should do this. And he's like, ah, but we really should do that. Usually we can come to a consensus quickly, but I feel like five of us, we'd'm like, I don't know. I think we should do this. And he's like, ah, but we really should do that. Like, usually we can come to a consensus quickly, but I feel like five of us, we'd be like,

no, I'm not wasting my time doing that. And two of us would be like, no, we have to do that now. And he's like, fuck you guys. We're starting our own group over here. Did you guys see that video where it was, it was like something like German survivor or something like that. And it was like all the women and all the men were on different islands.

I did see that. So awesome. Go ahead, Joe. Tell the story. Basically, there's two islands that are really close by. And they put all the men on one island and all the women on the other. And the men had like a bar and a restaurant. And they had an awesome sleeping area and a place to do their laundry.

They had fire. They had all sorts of stuff. The women did nothing but steal each other's food. It was like there was nothing there at all. They kept talking about how messy it was. And if I understood right, that meant they didn't have a central potty area. They weren't acting as a team at all. They were just basically living like savages and animals and not working together at all.

It was awesome. living like savages and animals and like no work at all it was awesome at the risk of being totally misogynist i swear women need some men in the group to properly function like they're just way better that way which is not to say that a group with no women is perfect but dude you watch the apprentice ever watch the apprentice like the old school ones where they'd separate the men and the women the women uh sometimes the women won like they were successful but uh gosh they would just henpeck at each other and hate one another and it was it was a question did either of you make bathroom on your trip i did that wasn't number one yeah no okay yeah yeah i've done, yeah. I've done that, I mean I've spent enough time- Did you guys say this is where we shit and dig your hole? Uh, I don't know if we talked about it that much, but-

No, I don't think we did, but I think I- We should next time around. I went off into the woods, I- Is this something you're unfamiliar with? Do you want to learn the process? I know very- There's not a single hole that we'll all use or anything. We'll all make our own we'll all make our own little holes yeah well you made it seem like we were gonna be like come on guys let's

all take a shit right here no there's no mass toilet all right i'm just saying like you need like this area over here we're gonna dig holes and shit over here because otherwise you have a situation like what he just said where people are digging for for bugs and we're digging up people's shit holes. You know? We all need to know where we're shitting. I'm just saying. I love this is your concern. Your concern is where to shit. We'll bring baby wipes. Those are the better options.

Dude wipes. Just dude wipes. Sure, whatever. But I feel like a big thing are those baby wipes and you know you can wash your face take like a bath like that if you wanted to. I bring enough baby wipes. One for poop can wash your face take it like a bath like that if you if you wanted to um and make you know i bring it up baby wipes one for pooping like like he's saying and the other my big concern is usually poison ivy like if i if i know that i just got exposed to it and i clean it up right away then you won't react to it we need to build a house that's the goal by the end of five days house is i'd be happy happy with that. We have 24 hours each day.

I feel like everyone's under... We need a cameraman to capture all of this awesome downtime we're gonna have. There's gonna be plenty of shit time to do shit. We gotta find diamonds. You wanna take a look at this? We need prospector helmets.

Add that to the list. We never did finish our shelter to completion. Well it wasn't really a shelter, right? It was more like a raft. No, no. I think you're undercutting it. It was a lean-to type thing. So when you saw it on camera in Woody's video, it wasn't... We got more done than that. Like, eventually it had a roof sort of thing. The last thing we saw in the videos was you throwing

Your yoga mat on top of some loose logs and going I can't do this No we See how big he talks when he's out there. I was proud of the shelter I thought we did a decent job I think we did a decent job But it was big enough for one, and it wasn't comfortable to lay on whatever that floor was. It was uncomfortable as fuck.

It was the design of the bed. That was a problem. Maybe next time we just burn the floor and sleep on the ground. No, no. I think I'm going to build some sort of a hammock. Hmm. Yeah, because what happens is we did an elevated wooden bed because we were expecting rain, and we got rain.

But it was like, we know we need to be off the ground because of that. I just feel like that's, I don't know, the ground's cold. I know that's not good to sleep on the ground. I think it's just better to sleep on a raised structure. What if you dig out a hole and sleep in the hole? Like Carl in Sling Blade? No thank you. The thing about the ground is it's cold. And like

your body will never heat up the earth. It's just going to stay the temperature that it is. But Bear Grylls when he was lost in the snow built a giant... Bear Grylls has never been lost in the snow. Built a giant hole in the snow. And if he could called for some help on his cell phone. Listen, you're all going to be crying that you can't find Squirrel,

and I'm going to be drinking pee. Very high. I learned everything from reality TV. I can't wait. I'm going to practice for a month straight. I'll get started now. I'm going to get my 22 out tomorrow. You'll see.

It's going to be a fucking Squirrel massacre. Are you bringing that like ar-15 22 bring 22s everyone? I? Will bring that a I think I'll bring this one because it's it's actually pretty light like it's I don't know Let's call it six pounds something like that And you know it's 22. I think I'm gonna bring a Ruger 1022 that breaks that what do they call it that splits in half I think I'm going to bring a Ruger 10-22 that breaks. What do they call it that splits in half? Breaks down disassembles. Yeah, that works.

Probably breaks just isn't descriptive enough. Right. But anyway, that's what I want with a scope on it. That would be cool. Yes. So Joe's in. August 24th to 28th. I think I'm in. I got to check with Katie.

I think Katie's off mostly all that week, though. Yeah. Wow. It's 24th to the 28th. I think Katie's off mostly all that week, though. Yeah. Wow. It's 24th to the 28th. She works overnight on the 28th. When are you having your next kid, Joe? Probably never.

I don't know. I feel like Joey's going to take so much extra attention. I don't know if I really want to have a second kid. Maybe wait a little bit. Wait until he's a little bit older. We'll see. I met Joey. He doesn't take any extra attention. He's freaking fine but we're not we're not dealing with like school stuff yet or you know when he when he's talking and everything

i'll feel a lot more better about everything how old is he uh 18 months okay and a year and a half what level of talking does he do now um anything he says a lot he says there's probably like 50 different things he says but like none of them are like super clear words like it'd be like ba for for ball or he says yes he does no he does mama dada he does vroom uh he does uh he does he uh calls my dad has a horse called buck so he'll say buck he he says a bunch of things like that but most of them are like the first like half or first three quarters of a word he says very little things like a full word he's uh his speech is at like uh like a 12 or 14 month old so he's he's a little bit behind but not a big deal yeah that's not a big deal at all stop trying yeah yeah thinking

about it uh yeah yeah it's a the way language progresses you might know this already but uh like they first do the easy syllables ba pa ma things like that then they'll double up on them baba papa mama etc and then uh then they'll start doing them together like you know ma da pop pa da or whatever those aren't real words but but you think you have a dumb kid for a while oh shit what i do yeah they'll do the easy ones twice. And then when they start saying buck or circus or hard words like that that don't follow. We can get them to say fuck or shit. I'll be so happy. Oh, yes.

Well, that's the language of Boston. So you got to get that in. How did it go with Colin? What did Colin do speech-wise? Jeez. It's been a while. So Colin's 12 12 but most people watching this know that um but I mean he still has some of the issues you're talking about Colin

is I think is a much more much bigger issues than your kid has yep and um uh but one thing he does a lot that you mentioned is he leaves off the second half of words yep you know so it's like dude that ending consonant of buck like really lets me know that you're saying buck as opposed to ball right yep and um he leaves a lot of that stuff off so we'll have to slow it down or even what happens now is he gets frustrated you know he'll say like whatever ta and i'm like you know like wah and i'm like are you saying win no are you saying this no you're saying the wrong word don't say wrong words and i'm like you know like i'm trying really hard here and he's getting angry and frustrated and before he got angry and frustrated i uh um i thought it would be good when

he got angry and frustrated that it would make him super motivated but it's actually not really a positive it um like it it doesn't it's not making anything better it just makes it even harder to work through this and and i don't want to like turn it around and point blame oh well you know you're the one who's kind of shit at talking learn the word all right and uh you know because that's not helping anything but But, yeah. Joey puts things together. But, like, one of the first things he said where it was, like, it was different, he says beach. So he'll say beach, which was, like, a big deal because he would be, like, ba-ba-pa-ba-ba. He would do all that kind of stuff.

But, like, beach was, like, the first word where he would give, like, you know, something in the beginning and, like, a definitive end that was different. You know, it wasn't just a random. Buck is a good one, too. my attention yeah yep buck is good he does uh he'll do pop for bubbles um yes no he does what for his wubba nub uh it's like the the pacifier with a little stuffed animal on it um so he has a whole bunch of things but like we understand exactly what he means on most of them you know and i think like probably the way you can probably tell what colin's saying you know where someone else think like probably the way you can probably tell what Colin's saying, you know, where someone else be like, what did he just say? You're like, oh, he wants this.

Yeah. I think it's kind of similar. One challenge with Colin is his vocabulary is getting way bigger than his like ability to pronounce them. Yeah. So his, and another way to say that is his receptive language is way outrunning his expressive language. Yep. And so. Joey's like that too,

but obviously he should be as a baby. Um, so, so with his, you know, he'll try to say things that he can understand, but I can't, he, they're just not in his expressive language arsenal yet.

So, um, I don't know. We work with him all the time. So we're, we're trying to, um, to get him to eat more Colin eats a really

limited diet and disciplining him or being hard on him is always tough because you don't know like when it's time to treat him like a normal kid and when it's time to understand that he's not and yeah Jackie was like she was dropping the hammer today she had been going to food therapy, which yielded, like, no results. They didn't add anything to his diet other than, like, licking a few things and saying that he doesn't like it. And she's like, look, you want to go to parkour camp? We can drop food therapy and go to parkour camp. You can change your life.

Do it. Eat the chicken. Change your life. Make it better. Do it. And he's, like, just, like like he's chewing with his front teeth and this and that and uh she got him to actually put it in his back teeth chew it properly and he threw up and i was like i'll still take it i don't give a fuck tomorrow do it again until you add you know more healthy foods to your diet. Joey eats fucking everything.

Anything we give him. I can give him buffalo chicken stuff. We give him just a ton of little things. Wait, what? I'm giving him hot wings. We gave him a lemon thinking it would be funny. He was going to bite the lemon and he would just dislike it. Kid fucking loves lemons. He'll chew on them forever.

Occasionally he'll get a little sour pickle on his face but then he's completely fine. He goes right back to mowing on it. Probably his favorite food are lemons. Really? Oh, that's awesome. He'll never get scurvy. If you give a dog a lemon, you can just see the look on their face.

They're just instantly like, what the fuck? Why, human? Why? Some Frank's Red Hot Sauce. Let him lick it off a plate. We thought it would be funny, and then he shit everywhere. Dude, how's your puppy? Leo's good. Dog's awesome.

Leo? Oh, he missed an opportunity to name him Woody. Yeah, I know. Maybe next time. He's not a female. He's not a female. Well played. How is he? We sent him away to puppy camp or puppy school basically where he went away for – the guy had him for like three weeks and did all like the obedience stuff with him

and like leash training. The guy was amazing. It's called Riptide Canine. It's like a couple of towns over. The best thing ever. It's worth it. I think I paid – I think it was like $ bucks where he took the dog for three weeks, taught him all the unleashed stuff.

But he taught him like, it's called a place command where basically I can put him on anything that's not the floor. Could be a couch, could be a towel, could be a dog bed, could be a, he had like a tree stump in his backyard. Put him anywhere I want, tell him place and he cannot get off of that. He'll stay there for an hour, stay there longer. Like could be a dog bed like in the front living room and he can sit there, that. He'll stay there for an hour, stay there longer. Like, it could be a dog bed, like, in the front living room, and he can sit there, he can lay there, he can do whatever,

he can spin in circles, he can stand on his head, anything he wants, but he has to stay there. And he'll stay there for, like, an hour. It's, like, the greatest thing ever. Wow. Doesn't matter. It could be food around, it could be people calling him. It doesn't matter.

You need to send that monster of a thing that you've got living downstairs to one of these camps. Mine? Yeah, yeah. I'm thinking Joe needs to send little Joey to one of these camps. How awesome would that be? Like if you could just turn off your child, your place. Dude, so all the stuff they did with him, it's all like all leash training.

It's all on leash stuff. So if you put the leash on him, it's like a little pinch little pinch collar and he's fine and he'll do anything you want if you walk around he stays right beside you the entire time you tell him sit he it's staying is implied so if i tell him to sit he knows he has to stay there until he's given something else if i tell him down he knows he has to stay there until i give him something else if i tell him the place he knows that he's he's there until we give him something else um and then when he's like six months, which would be a couple more months. I think it will be like end of August. We can go to the electronic collar, which you'll do all the same stuff.

It's just that you get the little mini shock collar. I'm familiar. Which is not a – well, that was like the harsh shock collar though. They have other shock collars. It's like – I think the shock collar itself is a couple hundred bucks. But it's like there's like two settings. There's one that's like a correction setting, which is like, that's like a, like you had, where it was like, it's like a good shock.

That's like dogs being a real asshole and you need to give it a real correction. The other setting is like, it's just like a minor setting. So the dog knows that you're there, but it doesn't actually hurt him. Our new dog is incredibly sweet. Like he's two things. One, he seems amazingly healthy, which is neat. We got this like expensive, like bread dog from Champion Parents and shit like that. What kind of dog?

He's a Great Dane. Okay. And the challenge is that a lot of Great Danes are unhealthy. They have bad hearts. The last one had a heart attack at five years old. They have bad hips. They have bad wobblers, which is like a spinal cord neck thing. And so this time we wanted like medical records from the parents.

And we really went all out. He was kind of expensive. And they left a ball behind. They left a ball behind. It dropped. Oh! It dropped. He got his second testicle this week.

Yeah, we're all very excited for him. Have you been massaging it? No. It dropped. And then like the next day, Jackie couldn't find it i'm like you know what to do baby and uh she doesn't do it though but um anyway uh um so yeah but and he's like super healthy and that worked out really well and he's real sweet so um the only thing is i kind of miss having a killer around like it don't know, it was just something comforting.

He's just not a killer, man. He's sweet. He hasn't hit puberty yet. You've got a puppy. Maybe you're right. You're going to get a man-dog. Didn't you know Jack was a killer? I don't know.

I forgot when we first discovered that Jack was a killer. It was like there was a loaded weapon. No, a sentry gun. It was like having a sentry gun in the house. Just looking around for something or someone to kill, to destroy all the time. And now we have nice dogs. Harley might step up. What do you need?

A Fila Brasileiro. Don't start this. That's the kind of dog. We spent weeks looking at these exotic dog breeds. At one point we were looking at wolves. Did you look at the Fila's? It's like a Mastiff.

I'm looking at this now. This is a pretty cool dog. A big bad dog. Basically they're called an estate dog. Did you do a Google image search? Yeah. Look at the one where it's standing up on the guy. Look how fucking big that thing is.

Standing up on... It's like fifth row down or so. Yeah, yeah. The guy's wearing like jean shorts. Yep. This dog Woody has got is going to be enormous. Cargo shorts. This dog's going to be at least six feet tall. So they call them like estate dogs or guardian dogs or something.

So basically you have to associate them with your family, and after that they will kill anyone that's not your family. That describes my last dog. Or rape. It looks like that dog could fuck that man right there. If that guy turned around, he wouldn't be a virgin anymore. Or rape. It looks like that dog could fuck that man right there. If that guy turned around, he wouldn't be a virgin anymore. The rape is implied. So there's a guy.

I don't know if you've ever heard of Tony Blower. No. So he does a lot of training for government special forces and all kinds of stuff. But it's like all the hand-to-hand stuff. And I met him when I was out in Hawaii because he was out there to see BJ. So you ever see that mask I have? It almost looks like the Halo mask. And we use it for training.

And it's like there's a Halo mask almost looking. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know those. It's like elbow pads. There's knee pads, all that sort of stuff. So, Tony does like all this training with all these, you know, different military groups. And basically, his wife and family got like held up. Like he left the house.

And basically, as he left, he saw a guy out front that looked a little bit weird but didn't think anything of it and left. The guy came in with a gun, basically robbed his house, robbed his wife, his kids. His two kids were there, and his wife was there. So he freaked out about it, super unhappy. He's like, I do all this training, and then my own family gets robbed.

So he got two of these dogs, and they're enormous they're monsters they're killers so much so that um one of his daughters had uh had her friend over and like they were sounds stupid but they were like they're young they were like 14 15 and they were walking through the house with uh they had like a laptop on their head and they were like walking through because they're using like the light of the screen to kind of act like a flashlight okay walking through and the daughter went in the room and then the the friend went in following her and somehow she tripped over kind of fell woke up the dog dog woke up bit the girl like almost like a really really bad situation but i guess the dog stopped but yeah that describes you only ate one leg just just what you want though right

it's a mix it is nice that like you get that big huge yard like that's the way to go yeah I mean like whenever we walk Jack and stuff like we really had to make sure he he was on a leash all the time because if he were to spot someone he might just chase him down and kill him. He ran like twice as fast as a human would. And he's just a sentry gun. Three times. About three times faster than the average human would. Yeah, than an average person for sure. He just would fuck shit up.

But now we can walk him with no leash and stuff. We don't think the dog's... The real goddamn monster that dog was. You should go get Ender. Because I don't know if Joe's seen him. I like to make fun of the fact that you made those people cut his ears like that every time. I didn't do that, but I can get Ender.

You know what? I'll send a text. We'll have him come around. He just came like that. While you're doing that, I'm going to tell the people about Squarespace. We just want everyone to remember that this episode of Painkiller Already is being brought to you by Squarespace. When you use them, your site will look professionally designed

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and go to squarespace.com slash pka. The undisputed correct answer if you want to have a web presence. Bam. Absolutely. What's this video we have here? What's this? That's one of the dogs.

Oh, that's one of these monster dogs. hey Kujo you want to kill yeah I do dude did I was watching fighter and the kid and what's the kids name Brian Brian Allen Callan yeah um he was telling a story look at at this guy. He wants to destroy. So, this guy's with his girlfriend or with his wife or whatever. They just had sex. He's buck naked. Wet dick. Still wet dick. Someone comes in the house

and he hears him. He knows that it's happening. Here comes the dog just like that what's that oh poor dog you cut his ears we didn't cut his ears they did all right i'll send him back when we're done he's gonna hang with me all right so anyway burglar comes in and uh burglar bad guy he's never had any training but he guillotines him which is a kind of like air choke and uh he just he latches onto that thing tight he's holding it he's holding it he won't let it go they call the police right he's holding the guillotine the whole

fucking time and the cops show up and uh um you know he's holding he's holding it and the cops are like all right all right let him go let him go. And he doesn't, so the cops cuff him. And they've got his hands behind his backs. And he's still holding the freaking guillotine choke. I don't know how long this has been. And the cops are like, all right, all right, relax, he's cuffed, you can let him go. He's like, I'm not letting this fucker go. And

then they eventually, you know, they convince him to let the guy go, and he's dead. He killed the guy with the guillotine choke. He's out cold, and he's like... Fucking hero. Yeah, and he goes, you know, they convince him to let the guy go and he's dead. He killed the guy with a guillotine choke. He's out cold and he's like. Fucking hero. Yeah. And he goes, you know, am I in trouble?

Like, you know, like I just killed a man. And the cops are like, ah, relax, you're a fucking hero. Yeah. You should have stepped in. It was a late stoppage if I've ever heard of one. They said he's in your house. Ah, the guy broke into your house. You're a fucking hero.

Something like that. Just because you're hosting the fight doesn't mean you... There was a guy that used to train at my gym. We called him Crazy Jay. And he had like this wicked scar on his neck or his forehead. It was like somewhere on his head. I think it was over on the back of his head. And we asked how he got it.

He tried to tell us he got attacked by a shark. We were like, there's no fucking chance he got bit by a shark. He swore up and down for a year that he got bit by a shark. In the head. Maybe it was on his leg. I forget exactly where it was. It must have been on his leg because we wouldn't have bought the head. He swore up and down that that was what happened.

Then we met a buddy of his. Someone asked him, do you know the real story of what's up with the scar and yeah so he didn't he didn't want to tell anyone but he basically got in a fight in a bar he's drunk being an asshole i was in hawaii and got to fight with someone and somehow put it put the guy in a rain naked choke and then the guy's friends started coming at him right so he basically backed himself up in a corner using the guy holding the guy like a shield and he's choking the guy and they're all trying to come at him and like tell him let him go let him go let him go and he's just squeezing he's like he's scared to death for his life choke the guy unconscious like completely unconscious and like had no idea what was going

on and they're all like all of the guy's friends all see that he's unconscious and he's out and they're trying to get him you know tell him to stop but as they get closer like he's squeezing harder and harder back and away trying to tell him he like he doesn't want to like he doesn't want to let it go because he's scared to death he has no idea the guy's unconscious but the guy's been unconscious for a long ass time but like that's the kind of shit that happens you get someone that's like super scared and drunk and doesn't know what's going on and well you know it dead body hands that's not where i saw that where that was going i thought that the the mark or the scar was going to be and then someone broke a bottle off and just stabbed him in the leg no no i guess i guess i

guess someone bottled him and that was how the whole thing started he got then he grabbed he grabbed someone it was a scuffle whatever but that was but that was the story so he didn't want to tell us he was such a retard and like he was so scared and had no idea what was going on with the choke well he went with shark it was like a year year and a half he got bit by a shark like dude there's no fucking chance live in Minnesota yeah it was a shark so it did happen can we take the shark story kind of made sense joe have you ever seen this movie called snow piercer kyle is so wrapped up in this stupid movie it's a great movie what are you talking about it's a pretty good movie it was just such an

so so woody uh chis and i watched. We have had some serious long debates about this. After the movie, the day after, and today before P.K. Yeah, it really made me think. It's called Snowpiercer. It's on Netflix. And it's post-apocalyptic. The world is frozen over. And all of the action takes place on a train. So the global warming, to to combat it they put something in

the atmosphere i didn't want to spoil the movie i just that's like the opening it's it's right at the open like it's literally clips before you even see chris evans please tell me it's saved by captain america no so quite the contrary the deal is they try to cool off to prevent global warming or you know a counter global warning and they overdo it and it gets too cold so there's just a train going around the world and everyone alive on the planet is on this train with energy that never runs out for some reason perpetual motion engine oh maybe i have seen this movie i think i've seen a little tiny piece of this movie that's actually true by the way i looked it up it's a perpetual motion, so that's why it doesn't need more energy. And that train has 1,001 cars on it.

1,001 cars. Yep. That's a lot of cars. So Kyle is all wrapped up in how realistic this perpetual motion post-apocalyptic train is. Like, yeah, there's an aspect of this that I don't think is quite right. Go on. No, I just, no, there was, yeah, I always do that with movies. Like, if you can't, if I can't

maintain my suspended disbelief, then it's no good. I need to believe that this thing is real. So this is how the order of events went. Kyle was pretty upset with it to some extent, like a lot of unrealistic things. I came back with counters, he agreed after them, then he did his own research, and now we're both kind of at the same level of where our issues lie

with the movie and the flaws with it that's pretty much where we're at how about the fact that there's no such thing as perpetual motion you always have a loss of energy okay well how many movies have done some kind of perpetual motion i don't mind that why are some i mean okay and something's not okay big all right so so what's not okay for example yeah what's not okay what are the what are your track track maintenance this thing has been running on why do you laugh he's been running on the same track for 17 years why hasn't the track broken down yet why has it no one of Russia's once a year well I'm not talking about where

the track so the track is the whole world has like boiled over and like Where did all the trains go that were on the track? Like, this was the only train on all the tracks? Cause he's utilizing like regular tracks. How long does it take for the train to go around the track? A year. It takes one year for a big fucking train. It goes to all the continents.

It's like Europe, Asia, North America, South America, and this huge life. How does he cross the oceans on a train track? That was my next question. It goes up here in Greenland. Yeah, it went up to the Arctic. There's still not a path where it's all land. Well, obviously, there's also not a thousand-car train, too. This is a billionaire who made all this.

So they made it after the world froze? No, that's the thing. The guy said as a child he wanted to live on a train. You know, that's all he wanted to do. So that's all this guy has been doing all his life. And he anticipated this. He just happened to be the guy. That's neither here nor there.

He did not anticipate it. He just wanted to live on a train. And that means you have spas. You have all the amenities of living in the real world on the train that you never have to get off of and it just so happened the apocalypse happened and he had paid passengers in the stowaways

in the movie they said he anticipated it maybe that's a lie well they also think he's a god too well he didn't anticipate it before he like built the train cause he was he had this dream of the super train when he was a kid at Christmas. Maybe he anticipated, maybe he saw the end coming there at the end.

Clearly, when that train first started off, he was like, oh, fuck, this is not going to be good. I think when he was developing the engine, building the train, we're led to believe that it wasn't impending doom. If Mirka was here, he would be fussing about things

that are far larger than track maintenance. I don't think... No, we really picked this thing apart. There's nothing else. So, look, I don't have an issue with warp engines in Star Trek because it's a futuristic technology. I don't have an issue with...

Yeah, we don't even know what year this movie takes place, by the way. Yeah, they don't even say. So I got no issue with that. The only things that I think are unrealistic, the gunplay was shit. That was the worst of the, by the way. Yeah, they don't even say. So I got no issue with that. The only things that I think are unrealistic, the gunplay was shit. That was the worst of the worst of the worst. They were shooting from super

long distance. One guy had a Scorpion, and Chris Evans did. The other guy had an AR-15, and they're both shooting with deadly accuracy, hundreds of yards away from each other with one shot apiece. It was just absurd. But it was super absurd um that hat but but there were it was super gory uh they you know they kind of there was a lot of world building going going on

there and uh i don't know and the ending was bad we we agree the ending was bad yeah the ending's poor but it is a twist ending so you will be like aha what the fuck um but and you get a couple of those there's a few twists along the way i would say I liked it a lot, I'd give it two thumbs up at first it was one thumb up but then I watched a few reviews read about it, read about the French graphic novel it's based upon and I like it now

I'm definitely on board with Snowpiercer I'm going to have to go download or watch it somehow it's on Netflix oh even better, perfect Chris Evans does a really good job I'm gonna have to go down download or watch it somehow it's a good it's on Netflix it's on that oh even better perfect yeah yeah it's good very good Chris Evans does a really good job um I like it a lot so real acting chops shown by Chris Evans I think in that film you know he's not playing a superhero or I'm trying I mean really Chris Evans has played a lot of superheroes Scott

Pilgrim saves the earth or whatever that movie is. I haven't seen it in a real drama action type movie. This kind of did that for me. Are we going to watch... I was just putting it in there for the next topic. If you think it's time, then I'm down. I've seen this video, so I'm going to use the restroom.

I haven't seen the video yet, but I want to talk about The Lion a little bit. Let me just fill in the blanks here. So I guess there's this famous lion over in Africa, Cecil the lion, had a black mane, he was kind of well known by the tourists and the people that lived around there, they knew of this lion, and then this dentist from America went over there and killed the lion legally, right? Um, yeah, I think so. over there and killed the lion legally, right?

Yeah, I think so. I believe he shot it with a bow, and then they had to stalk it for a day and a half, two days, and then finish it with a rifle, which is a pretty gruesome end, I suppose. I don't know how I feel about trophy hunting. Would you like to watch the video

now? I think that's a good set. Are you guys ready? He said he was going to let us watch. I'm ready whenever. Would you like to watch the video now? I think that's a good set. Are you guys ready? Well, Chiz isn't here. He said he was going to let us play. I'm ready, whatever. Ready, set, play. Here's something I wanted to mention, something I saw last night. This is, or I should say was, Cecil the lion.

Beautiful animal, 13 years old. He'd been wearing a GPS collar as part of an Oxford University research project. They'd been tracking him for years. And during that time, Cecil became like a local favorite amongst the tourists and the guys he was always around. People love to see him on safaris until earlier this month, when a tourist on a hunting trip shot him for sport. And of course, everyone is angry and upset. Last night, I read this story. It happened upon the story in the news report said they suspected it was a Spaniard who did it, who shot the animal.

And I have to admit, when I saw it, I was so relieved it wasn't an American. I really was. I was like, this is terrible, but thank God it wasn't one of us for once. And then I went online this morning and learned that it turns out it was an American. It was one of us. It was a dentist from Minnesota who paid $50,000 to shoot the lion. According to the news, he hired a company. He flew to Zimbabwe. Two locals took him to the national park. They tied a dead animal to the back of a jeep to lure the lion out of the park

because it's illegal to shoot them in the park. They call it baiting. And once they got the lion out of the park, they put a spotlight on him, and then the dentist shot Cecil with a bow and arrow. But the arrow didn't kill the lion, so they tracked him LION OUT OF THE PARK THEY PUT A SPOTLIGHT ON HIM AND THEN THE DENTIST SHOT CECIL WITH A BOW AND ARROW BUT THE ARROW DIDN'T KILL A LION SO THEY TRACKED HIM AND 40 HOURS LATER SHOT HIM WITH A GUN SKINNED HIM AND TOOK THE HEAD AND LEFT THE BODY THERE NOW UNFORTUNATELY FOR THEM THE RESEARCHERS AT OXFORD WHO WERE TRACKING CECIL WERE ABLE TO TRACE THE SIGNAL AND FIND THE CARCASS AND THE LOCAL AUTHORITIES FOUND THE HUNTERS WHO THEY SAY THEY REALIZED TOO LATE THAT THEY SHOT AN ANIMAL and the local authorities found the hunters who they say they realized too late that they shot an animal with gps they tried to destroy the tracking collar but failed to do that so they

know who was the american hunter whose name is walt palmer is currently in hiding he closed his dental office in bloomington minnesota you better run wall the statement to the news saying this guy totally out the lion i took was a known local favorite until the end of the hunt which first of all stop saying you took the animal you take aspirin you killed the lion you didn't take it and he continued he said to my knowledge everything about this trip was legal and properly handled i relied on the expertise of my local professional guides to ensure a legal hunt which okay good let's say we accept at face value that he thought it was legal and properly handled and didn't know the lion had a tracking collar

or it was a local fairy. The big question is, why are you shooting a lion in the first place? I mean, I'm honestly curious to know why a human being would feel compelled to do that. How is that fun? Is it that difficult for you to get an erection that you need to kill things that are standard?

If that's the case, they have a pill for that. It works great. Just stay home and swallow it, and you save yourself a lifetime of being the most hated man in America who never advertised Jell-O pudding on television. Fair enough. And by the way, I'm not against hunting. If you're hunting to eat or to help keep the animal population healthy or to be part of your culture or something, that's one thing.

But if you're some a-hole dentist who wants a lion's head over the fireplace in his man cave so his douchebag buddies can gather around it and drink scotch and tell him how awesome he is that's just vomitous that's and this guy must have quite a collection of animal heads because well here he is posing next to a bear he shot in 2008 he was convicted of a felony for lying about where he killed a bear in wisconsin he got a year probation for that this is another lion he killed in 2008. This is a leopard. This is a rhino.

He killed like half of them. I don't get it. I also don't think the answer is to start a witch hunt for a guy. Some people online are saying we should see them and feed them to the lions. You've been leading the witch hunt for five minutes now. It should be handled in a lawful way. And the men who took the jeep should be made accountable too. But in accountable too but in the meantime he's breaking up some good come out of this disgusting tragedy so this is the website for the wildlife conservation research unit unit at oxford uh

wild cru.org these are the researchers who put the collar on cecil in the first place they track the animals and study them if you want to do something if you want to make this into a positive, you can, sorry, I'm, okay, I'm good. Make a donation to support them at the very least. Maybe we can show the world that not all Americans are like this jackal here, this dentist. A great smile says it all. Wow.

So, I saw that, and it was like, wow, this guy's got a big audience. I mean, he's saying not to lead a witch hunt, but he totally did. Yeah. That guy won't be fixing any more cavities. He might not. His business could be done, maybe. I don't know he's definitely fucked this guy's life and i and i'm not i don't think i like trophy hunting either i don't know

well regardless it was illegal right it wasn't yeah it appears that he didn't break any laws and it appeared trophy hunting is a thing that wealthy people engage in some wealthy people um they went out there they made sure that they pulled the... They waited until the lion left the protected place. They killed the lion in a spot where it was okay to kill lions. It's still so shitty though, right? The story goes they literally lured the lion out. They drove food to bring him into the area where it was legal to shoot him.

And he's got a prior of doing it illegally. I remember in the video he says. He does have a prior of killing the bear in the wrong spot. was legal to shoot him. And he's got a prior of doing it illegally. I remember in the video he says. He does have a prior of killing the bear in the wrong spot. Those laws are sketchy. You guys were taught to shoot squirrels last night. We could be in the same boat, motherfuckers. You guys are like, we'll just kill them a little early and see if they're dead.

Can you imagine us on Jimmy Kimmel with a necklace of squirrels on Jimmy Kimmel? The big difference here is that he killed a popular lion. People are killing lions and rhinos and bears and zebras and shit all my time and this guy happened to kill cecil everyone's favorite lion and now they're like oh my god trophy hunting yeah it's funny because kitty said that to me she's like you know this one lion dies everybody cares but like they killed 200 whales last week and no one cares i'm'm like, yeah, because nobody knew those whales.

If someone went into SeaWorld and cut off Shamu's head, it would be a riot in the streets. No. I don't think so. They name them all Shamu. They'll name them all Shamu. Like in The Simpsons, the dog. Yeah, the dog.

And the cat, right? I think Santa's Little Helper is the same one, but it's... What's the cat? Snowball? There's No, I think Santa's Little Helper is the same one, but it's, uh, what's the cat, Snowball? There's definitely more than one Santa's Little Helper. Or Snowflake, right? Yeah. Snowflake? Could be, I'm not sure. I haven't watched Simpsons in so fucking long.

Still going. Yeah, I... I guess I'll link this to you. What cake? I'll post it in the chat. Yeah, I see it. Let's see here. Why killing a lion is the most cowardly thing you can do

is this stupid oh yeah i have seen this so uh incredible day hunting in south africa stalked inside 60 yards this beautiful male lion what a hunt exclamation point and then the guy goes on to say like yeah but they're actually big cats. And here, you know, these guys have been researching for 30 years. They just act like big cats. Stalking means you have a guide. That guide takes you out in a big van. You find Buffalo. And boom, there's a lion sitting in the shade relaxing.

There was one instance where we were out with the lions and they sat next to the truck to use the truck as shade. They were three feet away from this guy Here's the lion walking next to the car You can see the lions using the shade from the car as he moves around The year I am straight up chilling next to a pride of lions. They're just sitting there. They aren't even moving Just to show you how incredibly difficult that here is that how incredibly difficult it is to hunt a lion I took a selfie next to one and the guys how incredibly difficult it is to hunt a lion,

I took a selfie next to one. And the guy's sitting there taking a selfie next to the lion. As you can see, the lion tried to run away from us. Just kidding, he fell asleep. And he's laying there on his back. And tried to block the light. So the problem with this... There's a few problems with this.

Where do we start? They're big cats, but they're acting like the cats that we know. Nah, all right. So there's one problem with it. Okay, so there's a couple problems with this, right? So the cats that these people are looking at right here, yeah, they totally are. Because they go out there every day and look at them and take pictures,

and people probably feed them too. I'm not saying that the cat, the lion that she shot up here, which is ridiculous. I don't like that kind of haunting. I'm not saying the lion she shot was some kind of wild super lion she probably just baited one of these domesticated almost lions that are in these parks now uh away somewhere and killed it as well but like i don't know i don't think these are like 100 like wild lions that are hanging out by this fucking jeep because that that doesn't seem normal to me seems like they would run from the people i've seen enough lion specials that they don't seem to act like that they have a hard time finding them they're in the dark the photographers are scared i don't

know if they're just doing that for drama or what but here they make them act like house cats i don't know i i think it's bullshit because in the end they definitely want in the end they drove out there until they saw a lion and then she shot it out of a jeep. It's a super easy thing to do. There's no skill involved. That guy shooting the one with the bow, that's fucking hard.

He's lucky that he didn't get killed. The lion could have probably killed him if he wanted to. There's probably somebody there backing him up with a rifle, though. I don't think the dentist is like this super hunter though like if he's if he has the balls to try and kill this fucking lion with a bow it's probably more like the like these lines that are just freaking being super playful if you're the king of the jungle you're not really scared of anything he killed a fucking bear yeah right it's, so who knows what he did to get to there. I would explain.

He poisoned it first. Yeah, right? Shot and drank it first. It was an intraposition. Now, if the lion hunt was more like that famous video where the guy shoots the lion with a rifle and the lion charges him and almost gets him, then that's a little more badass. This guy's a dentist. He's the cliche, like, a harley on weekends only guy watching the ghost in the darkness beating off to it yeah it's exactly like val kilmer riding uh harley on

the weekends by the way i am totally cool with if that's your thing knock yourself out as a matter of fact we should do that on one of our vacations we should all direction we should rent harley's and go on a trip it's the guy who trucks his harley into the motorcycle weekend and then rides it at the motorcycle weekend you really like immediately i was like yeah yeah i don't even have a problem with it if you like but it's another thing guys with big trucks have small penises no guys with big trucks like big trucks that's how you can tell because they have them that's it it doesn't really relate to your penis size now everyone's gonna say that because they know i want a truck but that guys who like ride harley's and you don't actually like if you like harley's knock yourself out i would love for

us all to grab a harley and go on some motorcycle weekend trip or something the cliche is that those dentist people that then truck their motorcycles into the motorcycle weekend act like they're on the same level and hardcore bikers as the actual biker bikers that's the cliche that's why they don't get respect and stuff like that if they just owned it like you know i'm just you know this is a hobby i like to do this kind of thing you know i guess i don't like anyone acts like a douchebag but i just if, if, you know, yeah. Fuck all you bikers out there. If you have a motorcycle and you take your car nine times out of ten, knock yourself out.

Yeah. You know, it's safer. It's air conditioned. I can see why you might choose your car a lot of times. You can hold other stuff. You know, you can take a passenger. Cars have some upsides. So, so I'm fine with that.

But, yeah, we should rent motorcycles and go someplace i have i have zero experience but i'm pretty good at learning to do things so that would be fun you might need a license you do you don't need one since nah it's called a motorcycle license i think you need one nah you don't need that that's bullshit i'm not gonna i'm just gonna just gonna drive the motorcycle okay i just don't know if my my thought was we'd rent them and i i would guess they'd check your license nah that'd be all right this is the man who's afraid to shoot squirrels out of season but he'll ride a motorcycle no license because i know if because he's so scared because if i get pulled over they're just gonna be like oh you should really have that like they're

not gonna like it's not gonna be a big deal my cousin got pulled over like three times without a motorcycle license and they just keep giving you warnings. Hmm. But a game warrant will bend you over. All you gotta do is be like, oh, this is my first time. I just bought it. I'm waiting on the license now. Blah, blah, blah. And it is. I'm not gonna get a license to drive a motorcycle one day.

And we're gonna master those squirrels. That's what's happening. So what are we allowed to bring on the trip? Everything last time. That's what we were doing earlier when I was kind of giving my rundown, I guess. I'm sorry.

Sleeping bag is approved. I guess so. Secured lockbox. What about a hammock? A hammock? I think you get to bring paracord and you make a makeshift hammock. You don't get to bring a hammock. Just like you can't bring a fucking tent. I kind of get to bring paracord and you make a makeshift hammock you don't get to bring a hammock just like you can't bring a fucking tent

I kind of want to I got a pretty hammock yeah no it packs up in this little bag like this it's pretty sweet it's not going to give you shelter it gets you off the ground it's just going to dangle you

there are hammocks that give you shelter there are some really nice ones that you're like encapsulated like a larva or something, a little pupa. But, I don't know about you. This is becoming the PKA camping trip. Which, I don't totally hate. It just keeps getting better and better. I don't think it has to be super miserable. At one point we discussed how funny it would be if I were doing some ridiculous like, living in a thong and rubbing two sticks together and failing miserably and Woody was doing camping.

But it was kind of harsh stuff. And then over in the other corner, Wings was literally in an RV frying bacon. So why don't we make it a point system? Why don't we come up with a point system? So you sleep in a hammock, you get X number of points. If you make your own shelter and you sleep on the ground, you get more points.

Should it be a story? If you shoot your own squirrels, you get so many points. If you catch your own fish, you get so many points. See, the point system originally was you get a predisposed amount of points and you bid and buy different things of different value. But what you're saying sounds like there are challenges in things that you can earn

points for. Or I think he's just saying there's a winner. It could be plus and minus. So it's where we get the most points. But if you sleep in a hammock, you lose five points. But if you build a shelter... Every night you sleep in it. Whatever you want to be.

You can make it whatever. I'm going to end this thing with negative 175 points and happy as fuck. Maybe that if you catch all the matter and I'm gonna be real comfy you just get a divide by zero you're out that's that's how that goes maybe maybe getting maybe getting once eating one sandwich is like negative 20 points but getting your own fish is like you know you get positive points so you see there has to be like a punishment or reward at the end because it means fucking nothing right like you just said right there negative a thousand i'm living like a king baby

whoever wins gets gets the the bulk of it whoever has the fewest points joe whispered or joe's dad whispers in his ear kick his ass i going to bring the clothes on my back, my knife, my gun. I think maybe I really like that spice thing I brought last time that had salt and pepper and cayenne and shit because I feel like unseasoned

squirrel is just no good at all. But other than that, just basic shit. The sleeping bag sounds like a good idea, I guess. I would be willing to go no sleeping bag, but I don't want to make a lot of it. What about barbecue sauce? It's not food, but you're bringing... It's like a seasoning.

Nah. Lemonade's not food. Yeah, I'm just rich in lemonade mix. We're all chicken tang. You can survive on just barbecue sauce. Crystal light's not food. There's no calories. So, yeah, I guess it's, if I'm being honest,

it sounds more like extreme camping, but we want to realistically get this thing done. I think that, you know, you bring a gun to shoot squirrels and you bring a sleeping bag to make sure that you're getting sleep and you have enough energy the next day to put on a good show and actually, you know, do some stuff. So, I don't know. Imagine it like we went hunting and got lost in the woods. I think that's a good scenario. Or we went on a

camping trip and we ran out of food. We went on a one-day camping trip and ran out of our shit immediately. Or we were on a boat and the boat sank and we lost most of our shit. Think of it that way. Because we're going to have a few things that are maybe creature-competing. You really should have stopped before the boat analogy. I'll just keep going. We're going to have a few're gonna have a few creature we were in a plane planning to go

camping and the plane went down and we had all our camping shit with us yeah i have to cut a leg off why don't we why don't we just why don't we just go camping and then just try to you know get points for doing different things no no i don't know about that get points for creating fire get points for catching fish i think the supplies should just be what they were last time. Plus a sleeping bag. And I'm all for challenges, but I think the hammock is cheating. Yeah, activities. Activities will be great.

I'm totally up for activities. I just want to make good videos of it. That's my thing. I want us to achieve. I'm torn. What the people watching this want, which is ultimately who it's for, is for us to go out there and nearly die that's the best show what i want is to really enjoy myself i'm trying to find a balance between them yeah yeah i'm willing to suffer for the fans and i i really want to to to

win i want to win at at this trip you know what i mean like i i don't want us to lose and uh i want us to kill things make shelter cook food and you know those are the basics right like i i don't want us to lose and uh i want us to kill things make shelter cook food and you know those are the basics right like i want i want to achieve all those things and i was really upset last time that when we got there there was like no wildlife like there's nothing in those woods no it was like everything had flown away because the storm was coming the next day or something there was literally i couldn't find insects for the hook i'm digging in the ground. There's no bugs.

How do you not... You flip over a rock. There's bugs under it, right? No. Sometimes snakes. It was just a really bad area. I swear. At my dad's place, we could go in those woods,

and it would have been so much better as far as gathering stuff. We would have found snakes and rats and critters and stuff just turning over old logs, I feel like. There was just nothing there in those woods. I saw a worm one time and it quickly slithered back into the ground from whence it came.

But that was it. Was the worm four feet long and went, ssss? I would have eaten it if that had happened. I would love to run into Sammy the snake out there because he would not get the mercy he got when I found him at my house. I'd eat eaten it if that had happened I would love to run into Sammy the snake out there because he would not get the mercy he got when I found him at my house

I'd eat his ass we have snakes here we keep seeing snakes almost all the time now I see your dog in the background oh I forgot about him Ender I'm taking my little nap is that a Minecraft reference the name

yeah he's a black Dog with a purple collar. Nice. Enderman is his full name. Colin named him. I like it. It's his legal name. They've mutilated me. We did not.

Yeah, Joe doesn't know, I don't think. But we were, like, shopping for dogs all over the place, trying to find the right healthy dogs so they didn't die at five years again. And this one was perfect in every way except his ears. What are you helping down? Except his ears were cropped. So we bought a dog with cropped ears, and now we're just, like, in the rankings. I think cropped ears look fine.

I think natural ears look great. But the worst thing is cropped ears that, like, weren't taken care of, and they just flop over, like, deformed natural ears. Sometimes it's not a case of not taking care of them sometimes they're like that yeah sometimes it just doesn't take his do his looks okay like we take it off uh i think one day a week he doesn't wear that thing and maybe like a fool and he looks good when it's off but he's just not done yet like grip had the most badass cropped ears my dog grip oh yeah it sounded like my life is shame sorry this content isn't available right now really okay hold on

oh i got a friend request was grip the killer yeah uh yeah kind of kind of i feel like he got nicer after he died right like no no so he didn't die. I had to give him away, though. Oh, that's right. He did almost kill Vegas. And he tried to kill Brewski. And he bit Matt Perry. And he bit my uncle. But he's a really good doc.

All those people needed fighting. Went to jail for that. But he's a good guy. all those people needed fighting went to jail for that Arnold Schwarzenegger just posted this on on Instagram I think that oh that's funny Schwarzenegger

he's the man I really like any reddit post he jumps into it's always pretty cool That's funny. Schwarzenegger. Schwarzenegger's the man. He's so awesome. I really like any Reddit post he jumps into. It's always pretty cool. There was some guy who was like 6'6", 150 pounds or something like that, and he had went to the gym, and he was doing squats and literally falling,

and everybody was laughing at him, and he was posting that he was discouraged and didn't know what to do and schwarzenegger came in there and gave him like a two paragraph long pep talk and it was really cool yeah that's good that's what he's good at well yeah really so is it california do you think he was bad at politics he's awful at politics. He's horrible. Obviously California did poorly during his term. And we had a horrible... I think he got impeached. The guy before him.

His name slips me every time. Jerry Brown? No, it wasn't Jerry Brown because he's killing it and always has. Like Gray Davis or something? But I think that might have been... Gray Davis sounds right. I wanted to say Scott Walker but that's not the same fucking guy i know it's a great davis yeah i remember that they're like all the freaks came out of the closet to be the governor of california you had tons of porn stars and oh three yeah it was great

davis okay yeah so he took over a pretty rough spot and then he came in there and he immediately started like doing and saying things that made a lot rough spot, and then he came in there, and he immediately started doing and saying things that made a lot of sense to me. He didn't like that the politicians, like all those state and... I forget what they're called, the state legislators, like the state senate and the state whatever house. The gerrymandering in California appears to be extremely bad.

So these guys can't lose their jobs. Because if you don't know what gerrymandering is, they just sort of slice up the voting area so that Republicans and Democrats are very safe. And they've all kind of just agreed to slice them up in a way that keeps them all safe and they've just voted in their job security. And that's hurt California and its government. And Schwarzenegger was like,

well, how about we have judges do the lines? How about we have this do the lines? Oversight committees, et cetera. He did a thing where he was trying to save money and he was like, all right, dogs that are caught have one week and then we euthanize them. And everyone was like, no, no, don't kill our dogs.

Don't kill our dogs. And then he comes on and goes, all right, that was a mistake. He is the our dogs. And then he comes on and goes, all right That was a mistake Terminator what did you expect? Yeah, he's like a blue state. I mean come on you can't be killing people's pets. Yeah Yeah, he's like, you know one week. That's it. I agree. He's like I'm from Austria, you know We don't think of dogs in the same way. I made a mistake We're not doing the dog thing Here's why I support the one week thing. If you lose your dog and you haven't

went to the local pound within a week, you don't care much about that dog. Let's go and get rid of that dog. Move him along. And I don't think we should burn them either. I know a lot of times they either throw them in the dump or burn them. I think we need to be utilizing those pet carcasses in some way. Fuel, food, whatever.

Farming. Like fertilizer? Yeah, chop them up into a mist and then spread them across the cop you could chop them up and feed them to livestock as long as you didn't tell you're not allowed to do that technically speaking but if you chop anything you're allowed in california i i have seen farmers feed cattle literally literally feed cattle chicken shit they'll eat it yeah they just they scoop up a giant feed cattle chicken shit. They'll eat it. They scoop up a giant scoop of chicken shit. They throw in a little bit

of something else the cows might want. They eat it. No problem. A little chicken shit and some molasses and we're good to go. That is not Kobe beef. No, it's not. That's what comes with that big, giant, sausage-like container of ground beef if you ever see it

at the store but i don't know what schwarzenegger did that was so poorly i know that his state did poorly i think he got some heat because of a um there was a gay rights issue and his defense was that he wanted to wait until the vote it was the particulars it wasn't that he didn't support the gay rights it seemed it was was that he wanted meaningful legislation to be passed. And what they were doing was the incorrect way to go about getting change on a legislature level. He was like, no, you're not exactly doing this right with your paperwork. You need to, like, this is the wrong way to do this. You need to get rid of this and you need to amend that.

And then you put your bill forward and then you can get the change. But, like, no, I won't support this because this this is bullshit this is just like uh that's what his excuse was that's what he said but he um i like schwarzenegger a lot i've i heard him go on stern not too long ago and he openly discussed the the affair and the illegitimate kid and all that and uh and still had a sense of humor joking about you know terminator shit and and all of us passed with stern it was it was very good i like schwarzenegger a lot i was always a fan of his movies growing up even when i was i spent weekends with my grandmother when i was like three four five six in that age group and uh and she was an arnold schwarzenegger fan and a

sigourney weaver fan she liked sci-fi and action. So as a four or five-year-old, I'm watching Terminator, Alien, Predator, like all that shit, and I loved it. So I'm a big fan of Schwarzenegger. I'm getting cliff notes on Schwarzenegger. It's because he ran the state into the ground. He left with a record deficit, horrible approval ratings because of it. He said he wouldn't take donations. He took more than anyone before him. All the

sexual scandal allegations that weren't allegations after a while. He really ran it into the ground hard from an economic standpoint. He had the best nickname ever, though. The Governator. The Governator. Well, yeah. That's what you need. And it's...

And it only adds to the mystique. You start with a good nickname. You also can't say the state's name, so that didn't matter. It only adds to the mystique of the movie Predator, though, because you have two governors going in there. You got Jesse, the body of Ventura, and Schwarzenegger. That's so crazy that both of them became governors. I wish Carl Winters had become the governor of somewhere, so you had a trifecta.

I love that movie. Predator's so good. I've seen Predator 25, 30 times, something like that. It doesn't get old. It doesn't, it's never not as good the 31st time. I love Predator. Do you guys know War Machine?

He was, he fought in the UFC, right, Joe? Yeah, the one that beat the shit out of his girlfriend. Yeah, he fought in the UFC. We try not to make that connection though he's an ex-ufc fighter he ended up fighting somewhere else i don't know where and um now he's in jail for beating his girlfriend fiance i forget how far they got along christy mack who was also a porn star and pretty hot um he found jesus but i was buying his lies that was like the the thing that got me in this is um he's like where do i begin it's sad that i'm a hundred thousand times more embarrassed of what

i'm about to tell you that i am being accused of the crimes that have landed me in jail it's a testament to how screwed up my way of thinking is and to how screwed up our society has become at first i blame the whole situation on christy and that guy and i remember that he told the story about how like she was cheating and that guy was cheating and he knew it and whatever and he just went in there and he said that guy attacked him or something which was not plausible oh then i blame my bad luck then I blame my bad karma then I blame myself then I blame steroids and uh I like I kind of remember all these things you know like oh that that guy attacked me oh I just have bad luck oh you know these things are happening then I blame the programming done to my

subconscious mind a product of a traumatic childhood and a poor choice of role models one of them has to be the culprit there has to be some reason that though i always had the best of intentions i keep landing myself in huge messes and why i'm so restless and why i'm never satisfied i've achieved countless goals i'm a professional athlete i own my own business i once had a perfect little wife then i had christy my life though enviable in all accounts, never satisfied me no matter how well it was going. I find a reason I'm unhappy and a reason to sabotage it. A few blogs ago, I wrote about a letter from my grandfather. His letter and my response to it broke my heart all over again.

I began that blog with a quote of my own. The good times only count while things are well. Once things turn bad, they only serve as specters, which torment you in the night. I think that must have been the most horrible thing any man has ever said. In both my blog and my letter to my grandfather, I compared my situations, losing the woman whom I loved and I found her in bed with another man, to my grandpa losing my grandmother to cancer after decades of unhappy marriage. Anyway, he goes on talking about this hole in himself and that he found god and now that he has jesus he uh he has faith and he's found happiness good for him i don't care

yeah okay i i hate all those people okay horrible things yours oh here you go i was coming down i didn't say it was a bad topic like i really don't care like you know who so many people do heinous shit go to jail find jesus and like they kind of feel they should be exonerated like their morale's like you should look at me differently now because i found jesus and i just don't agree with that like it's not a carte blanche clean slate clean slate wipe you know i you know i'm not a bad guy and you know he's trying to he's saying it's all of these heinous these horrible things i've done and the things i've fucked up is some subconscious thing that i have no control over to a childhood event i don't remember why am i do like take

responsibility like it's you you know it's not i i just don't buy it i don't know i i don't buy it. I don't know. I don't feel for him in the slightest. I feel like he fucked up. So my father asked me not to... He shouldn't be a PKA topic anymore. That lasted a month. Back to Jesus. He told me before we went on this long walk.

He's like, I want to tell you about me. He's like, I hear you talk about me on Painkiller already. And it dawns on me that you don't know me that well and i'm excited like i'm jazzed i thought i'm going to hear more about my extended family adventures of of stand which you know there's some really cool ones like bullies he's fought his dogs is whatever i'm just thirsting to know more about him but what he actually told me was the story of how he found God. And I guess he was, whatever, I'm going to say 50. That's a good estimate. 50 something. And he was successful in business. He was successful in his family. He had kind of lined up all the goals and accomplished

what he wanted to. But he thought to himself, this is it. Like, he didn't feel like he had just won he felt you know somewhat empty and then he found god and he has a sort of a deep joy and happiness that that he didn't have before contentness and somehow that lined up with what war machine here is saying like you know i was a pro athlete. I had a perfect wife. And then, you know, after that, he had a great girlfriend. He had done a lot of cool stuff and had an enviable life by many people's standards. A lot of guys would have traded places with him.

But now that he's found God, even in prison, he has some level of happiness and contentment that he didn't have before. I don't know. What is it with this God thing that makes people satisfied and warm and glowing inside?

Something to believe in. Something to tell them that what they're doing is right. And if they fucked up, like in life... It gives life purpose. Yeah, if they fucked up, like in prison, it also thinks, well, I can recount my sins sins be a better

person and I'll go to that oasis you know after I do my good deeds because I fucked up this life so much because God always forgives yeah I think that God always forgives is the big thing if someone feels like they've really dug themselves into a deep hole then they probably wouldn't forgive themselves

their friends wouldn't forgive them their family wouldn't forgive them but God will always forgive them. I think that's kind of why people kind of latch onto it a little bit. Yeah. It's like no matter how deep of a hole you dig yourself into, how dark of a place, there's always forgiveness out there. Hmm. Makes sense.

That's how I've always taken it you know one thing that drives me crazy like um it's like with fights sometimes like i hate it when people are like oh you know thank you first i want to first foremost i want to thank the most important you know person which is god it's like dude how about you thank your coaches and your training partners and like i know like from my last fight like i i beat up a lot of people like I had like a lot of like hard rounds in the gym I cut a couple guys with punches and elbows and things like that and they'd get stitches and this and that and like and those are the people I'm most thankful for you know what I mean like guys that you know to help me out they end up having to go to the

hospital and get stitches in their forehead like that's someone that I really want to be thankful for it's not I don't know I feel like you discredit like all the people who helped you out in your life when you're like oh the most important person to me is God. How about your family? How about your parents? How about all these people that sacrificed to help you out? I don't like when someone wins the big game or whatever and they thank God.

When they achieve anything and they thank God, it's like, alright, so if you're thanking him for making the world in which you were able to do this wonderful thing, I guess I could see that. That kind of makes sense. But come on. You didn't do any of that work. I would think for a professional athlete,

someone who knows what it took to get there, I guess they feel like they leaned on their faith to help them get through all of what it takes. The all-encapsulating thing is, well, I was able to have that strong work ethic because of God, and God put the right people in my life that developed that. You know what I mean? I feel like it's kind of a cop-out thank Jesus when they win never mention his name when they

lose yeah you know we the defense was looking good offense was strong special teams and off the charts but God really wasn't here for us today I'm gonna second quarter God was asleep what about about when you get both sides? Both sides are helping Jesus to help them out. They go, you're fucked. I like this guy better. Well, that's the running joke, right? Like, because everyone in the entire...

You know, like, God is on America's side, and it's in our anthems and all that. It's like, God is also technically on their side, too. Like, you think God's up there picking his favorite country and shit? Like, if you do believe in that, like, come on,

like, it's just silly. But I mean, if anyone wants to, if that's what, that's how they want to think about it, that's how they want to go with it. And then all the power to them. Like I don't ever,

it never bothers me, but I just think it's a little silly when, you know, they're thanking first and foremost, they're thanking God instead of like all the guys that, that, you know, physically helped them get there.

Yep. Yep. Yeah. People who, I, you know physically help them get there yep yep yeah people who i you know like regardless of what religion you're on so long as you're not using it to justify being awful then i'm fine with that you know if you use it to take away someone's rights if you use it to justify an anti-gay agenda an anti-black agenda um or in the case of like some muslim people like some sort of anti-American agenda. Yeah, so long as you're not using your God

to justify being awful, then I'm fine with that. Just like Reddit. You want more upvotes in life than downvotes. That's pretty much it. I mean, if you try to do everything you can that's positive, good stuff, you're leading a good life

if you're being mostly positive. I got to step away. away i'll be right back i'll be as fast as i can i will run well oh the chis and joe show make it happen what's going on chis it's the chis and joe show no no no no chis and joe show did you take a train to chicago i did take a train again to chicago how long did that take? That takes two days and like 12 hours. So you've done it three times now or two times? Two times. Four total trains. Fuck

that. Yeah, so that's what? Like ten days total on a train? You save like six dollars instead of flying. But it's an experience! To meet the trained folk and you get to sit back in this luxurious room and do all your work.

You don't have to deal with all that TSA bullshit that flying for three hours. I got time on my hands. So this three day trip to Georgia is going to take you like nine days. To Georgia on bus

is about two and a half days as well. So you're five days traveling. So six days. So we'll call it six days, seven days. Plus three days there, day before, day after. So you're looking at like two weeks.

Yeah, you're looking at 14, 15 days. Yeah. I got time. I got a phone, you know, and a laptop. I can do things. And every time I ride the bus, I get more entries in my book. Because there's always new stories I get from the bus folks. What book?

Bus talk, eh? I'm writing a book on all the bus people I meet and the stories they share. 5% of the book is written, but I have so many bullet points to write out and that that's fun counting i think that's the best way to start you just gotta bullet point everything and then fill in the details after totally that's what i do when when someone is talking to me about how their their son is so awesome he should jack off into bottles and sell that shit i'm writing notes on my phone to later explore on this more when I get home to a laptop because that seems to be shared with the world. Anytime I have to write something, whether it's like a blog post,

it was something in school, anything, bullet point the fuck out of it, fill in all the supports, and it writes itself. Yeah, well, it's a nice reminder. I'll fill in the blanks with my head because I'm not forgetting that fucking story. Welcome back, Kyle. Yeah, I'm back looking good can know snazzy in here and what kind of pants are you wearing is what I'm curious no pants oh really disappointment yeah they'd have some

cool pajama bottoms on so I so do you have a lighter hand each is I do so are you are you wearing shoes right now? No, I'm wearing socks. I want to do an experiment. So I think that I have a superhuman ability to just take fire. Are you sure you just don't? I feel like I could do that too, but I have a callus on my arm. Well, let's see who can do it the longest then.

I like this. Let me see. What the fuck do I want to do? I don't know. I see. What the fuck do I want to do now? That hurts like a motherfucker. Hey, look at that! Look at that! Kalo plate of shit! God damn it.

Hang on. Hang on. I can beat that. I can beat that. This is awesome. Oh, it's starting to hurt. Wait, you're right here just in time. What is he doing? You see who can last longer? I got a black spot on my foot. Yeah!

Let me do a different spot. Yeah, you're taking it pretty good. That's impressive. That's gonna hurt when he moves it. Yeah, you're taking it pretty good. That's impressive. That's going to hurt when he moves it. All right, you should stop. I don't believe it now. He should be smoking. I don't know if it's... Ow, okay.

I think Chiz just cooked himself a little. Take a bite of that. That's going to blister so well tomorrow. Why are you lasting so long? You are going to be medium rare. I quit long ago. It really hurts now. You know when you burn yourself, it's a residual pain. That's gonna blister so well tomorrow. Why are you lasting so long? You are gonna be medium rare. I quit long ago. It really hurts now. Like the fi- you know when you burn yourself, it's a residual pain that's just to come in waves. Okay, let's do your hands now. Let's do your hands.

Haha. That's a horrible idea. You remember that, uh, the- the- it's, uh... What's the fucking lethal weapon, Mr. Joshua? Yeah, we've seen that some. Remember that? That was so hardcore. Who's the actor that's doing it? I can't even remember.

Is it? It's the one who had the motorcycle accident and went crazy afterwards. Who's that? Robert Busey? Busey? Gary Busey? Gary Busey.

Yeah. Yeah, Gary Busey's like Mr. Joshua, and he's like burning his fucking arm like this. Okay, let's do your noses now. When do we talk about Carolol's new business all right so a while back we started talking about um this joke website that where they were i think women were gargling milk and then spitting it back into a thing and you could buy it so we started joking about like breast milk and the idea of bottling it and selling it and you being able to know whose breast milk this was.

We started looking into it and it's actually legal to do. You can actually do this as long as you go through a stringent program and make sure that everybody's healthy. There's actually a ridiculously large market of weird men who want to buy some titty milk. This is looking good on the podcast, Kyle. So we're in the early stages now, but we've got a couple of girls working for us now. This is Sasha.

That's not her real name, but I don't know if you can... There's actually a picture around there. What does Sasha taste like? It's a little sweeter than cow milk. Okay. Well, that's good. You get those natural, you know, feminine sugars. Can I read...

Feminine sugars. Wow, I don't think I have the eyesight to read this thing. That's tit stash right there. Yeah, tit stash going, Kyle. Well, I don't think I have the eyesight to read this thing. That's tit stash right there. Yeah, tit stash going, Kyle. You had some Sasha on your lip right there. It's kind of creamy and sweet.

Yeah. That means she rode horseback. Yeah. I don't know what that means. She's an equestrian. Do you guys watch Ray Donovan? Do you guys watch the show? We're in the prototype stages, but I just wanted to make sure that I got all the paperwork done,

made sure it was legal to do, and we're in the prototype stages now. I can see, like, you should have women fed on a diet of, like, nothing but salsa. Women fed on a diet of nothing but, like, watermelon and kiwi. Well, it's three girls right now that we've signed up to, that have agreed to do it. Two of them are vegetarian and

the other And the other one eats healthy so so I think I like that the vegetarian one doesn't eat healthy right? George's on carrots But but I think it's gonna be good we can I think it's going to be good. Let's see. Yeah, we got hot chicks to do this. Is that what they look like?

That's her. That's Sasha. No, we met her not too long ago. You got to move yours to the right a little bit. For you. Oh, who's that? I didn't meet her. That's Tiffany. Audrey? Oh, Tiffany. So I have two cameras i was showing the the rest of the crowd not you guys wow kyle you know if you keep drinking like that there's gonna be no product

left to sell i have so much titty milk you have no idea how quickly do they produce titty milk so much like a couple bottles a day and with our price margin margin, I think it's going to work out real nice, like you said. I think so. So we're launching soon. We're working on getting a black chick because we want chocolate milk by Christmas. That's the thing. Chocolate milk by Christmas. So if we can make that happen for the holiday season, I think we get all the demographics covered.

Is this really happening? Can I request strawberry milk? What is the process for that? Get a redhead, I guess, and beat her regularly. So it's going to be different prices based on the quality of the girl, right? Of course. I think we're doing a flat rate right now. Really?

You need to tier that. I don't know. It's not going to cost too much more than... You know, you've got your bottom barrel. And people should be able to, like, it should almost be like a dating site where as you're picking out, like, your milk, you should have, like, that person talk to you.

Like, oh, my name's Tiffany. I like this and this. Do the vegans produce, like, skim milk while some chubby girl produces, like, whole milk? That's so insensitive to the women at the farm. We got a no fat lady. The Asian chicks produce a lot of soy milk.

It's great. You know, you get a whole stable of those Asian girls between the age of 14, 16, tons of soy milk. I love that they're like soy milk for Asian. Oh, they've gotta be. There are laws and regulations when it comes to smuggling the right person. Smuggling the right person.

We're good. What about having the girl drink her own milk and then regurgitate it back? Well, that's just sick. We're not taking this serious at all. Well, that's how this originated. We found a website where the girl was just taking regular milk, I think, drinking it, gargling it, then depositing it and selling it to people. And I was like, if there's a market for that, let's sell titty milk.

And then we joked about it more and more. And then I called my lawyer. I was like, would you look into the legality of selling human breast milk? And he was like, no, that's not legal. But we kept digging and digging, and it's legal. So we got all the paperwork in order. And I don't know. We're in phase three out of four, I'd say.

We're just about ready to make a big push. Coming soon. Typically, it ends at phase three. Silk? Silk with a T. Silk. Silk. Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, if you can see it. Is it tilks.com available? We have a couple of domains. They're all going to go to the same page. We're not positive about which one we're going to push yet, so working on that. It's hard. We're working on the SEO right now.

You've got to get the right demographic of people. I think there's going to be a lot of dudes that are going to want to get some human breast milk. I think that's going to be a big thing. Well, if anyone wants the bottom of my heel just radiating with of the heel like could we get it like doesn't show anything mine's not I don't know why yours is burning black but mine's not it's just it just hurts really bad I I guess it's cuz I'm super hardcore. I burned mine just a little bit.

How much longer? And I realized it was a terrible idea. Well, you got fish feet, so I mean, you know. Fins. Flippers. Exactly. I feel like if I could get it on my toe here, like that part, I feel like that's really calloused. Like that's the most calloused part.

I feel like if I could get it like... Now light the hair on do the web stop doing the toe do the way that yeah oh my god look at the hair pull it again pull it again do it this his hairs are I told you guys about his toe hairs come on, come on, come on light it I don't smell it oh, it's happening just to hold it there you gotta hold it for longer coming out of frame, get back in frame

burn yourself oh, it worked, did you guys see that? yeah, I think I burnt myself with a lighter stabbed it right in my ankle. If you rub the hairs, do they break off now? Oh yeah, yeah they totally do. It's really gross. It's like... Like that's hair.

Oh. That's hardcore. That's real gross. That's how we're gonna be shaving in the wilderness, just burning hair off. Just burning it right off! Ah! That's the hardcore way. Oh, right. Can we bring a lighter on this trip? You're going to use your knife.

I don't feel like... You don't need a shave. I think it would be nice if by the end of it we were all... I was thinking it would help in starting a fire. Oh, I see. Get some hair in that. It's a Tinder bundle. Maybe. He's just straight up asking can we bring a lighter to light things?

I don't know why you're focused on facial hair being used as like Tinder and stuff like that. He's really stuck on hair burning. I feel like we should make our own fire. Joe, when you're no longer a pro athlete, are you going to have the same haircut? Probably. I buzz my head just because I'm too lazy to do my hair. That's a good answer. I just like no maintenance no nothing but i would love it if i start waking up when i start waking up with bedhead that's when i buzz my head how much money would it take

like donations to a charity of your choosing for you to grow out hair down to here not a chance not a chance no not happening it's such a pain with training like i train all the time like well this is retired joe not in oh retired joe i don't know maybe but when i grow my hair longer it turns into like an afro it just goes out like everything yeah i'd like to see that you froze everybody i'm familiar with that. What nationality are you, Joe? German? A little bit of everything. Irish, French-Canadian. I think those are the two.

Not the Aryan. The Irish and French-Canadian. A little bit of everything. White. My dad's side was half French-Canadian and half Scandinavian-Norwegian. Shouldn't we be calling out Conor McGregor for half a million dollars by now? Yeah, right? I'm freaking sure.

I'll fight that guy for that much money. Yeah. Get in Boston, right? Uh, yeah. Yeah. He's at 45 though. He might come up. I don't know. I would go to 45 for half a million dollars. Have you ever? I'm sure you've thought about that. i don't

i don't know well what going down yeah oh i had a couple fights at 145 but i lose so much strength going down and the guys end up just being faster so i don't i don't know if it's really worth it i've never really felt like way overpowered i've had some guys are a little stronger than me but but never where i felt it was detrimental hmm who's the strongest guy you fought uh manny gamburian who's he's down to like 35 or something now but he was strong as hell did you fight him on the ultimate fighter oh oh yeah yeah he was gonna knock me out that guy is strong he um he was he was really strong i saw him rolling with the button i think it was old footage but him rolling with a bunch of guys. He rolled with Eddie Bravo. Yep.

I'm trying to remember who else he rolled with. The UFC fighter who's known for grappling. I don't remember. But yeah, he does well. He also looked like he was real aggressive. Everyone else is just there to get better and train and stay in shape. He's going to get after it. I'm trying to cool i thought

that it was really they seemed really strong i know it really seemed super strong like jim miller seemed pretty comparable with me um i don't know i i feel like he's always really strong sam stout was really good at just kind of using his body like getting his hips back uh varner seemed to have you seem to be almost your equal yeah me and viner were pretty close didn't feel that much stronger go away who's calling me all right let me go through my list of topics it's an interesting thing so in arizona a court ruled that marijuana owner odor is no longer probable cause it used to be they could say they smelled pot and um and then go in and like look

for pot and stuff like that i think that's good because they can abuse that so so so easily like how are you gonna prove that later on like the judge the judge is gonna be like, did you? And he's gonna be like, yeah. It's something you can't take a picture of, right? Like, you can't capture it. There's no smell of it. That was my first reaction, too. It was like, yeah, because I hate that. I feel like... I smell crime in your house! Let's go, guys! Yeah, like, there's that. It's almost akin to the, like, stop resisting thing. Like, I've declared you're resisting, therefore you're resisting. And it's like, I'm not. I'm not resisting.

Stop yelling, stop resisting while kicking my ass. But it turns out that the judge's thought process was different. He said that because medical marijuana is now legal, the smell of marijuana doesn't necessarily mean a crime is taking place. That like medical marijuana people are just taking a prescription drug like anyone else who takes a prescription drug and therefore like they shouldn't have to continually prove that they're allowed to take this drug just like no one has to continually prove that they're allowed to take their cholesterol

medicine or their heart medicine or their diabetes medicine or whatever. No one says like, hey, you with that insulin, prove to me that you're allowed to take it. So yeah, now if a cop smells odor, he can't just assume that that person is illegally taking their medicine and needs to prove that they're allowed to take it he says if you rule any other way that um he'd be making medical marijuana people second-class citizens now you're talking about i guess home related things i immediately thought to driving so now what happens if you get pulled over and your car and smoke just rolling out well they didn't say no smoke they said the smell of marijuana so is that probable cause to suspect that they're driving under the influence then i am i because

marijuana drivers do i would think it would be i would think it would be because it's the same thing with alcohol like you're allowed to drink alcohol but you're not allowed to operate a vehicle i think the second you're operating a vehicle no it's probable cause right so if the person is driving just fine maybe they got pulled over for a taillight and the car smells like marijuana they don't they don't have probable cause then by this law to then do a DUI test on I think I think you could because I think if a cop pulled you over having a taillight out and he opens the thing and you reek like alcohol I think that's probable cause too they in the article they they said something they described the policy as

odor plus which is not to say that odor is not a piece of evidence at all. But like you said, maybe if the guy is driving erratically and they come over and he smells like pot, that they say, this is my evidence. He's driving erratically. He smelled like pot. We think he might have been DUI. And they can rule under that. But I think it's the odor alone isn't it odor alone isn't cause but if you if there was anything else which i mean that's

what they're going to do so that's what i'm saying though is like if you're because marijuana drivers don't drive like drunk drivers so like say he got pulled over for doing five over the speed limit because you got a dickhead cop and it smells like marijuana that's the scenario right there another thing that or it's or do you want to say it's a cop pulling over a black guy because it's a black guy and be like you smell like crime like i feel like that's what what they're really trying to stop because i bet that's the scenario that happens more often than not another thing they said that the smell of marijuana is not unique which would surprise me not You know that's why they say oh, did you run over a skunk? Haha, they're smoking weed and it smells like a bunch of other things that give off that kind of same odor, so it's not unique

Hmm. Yeah, like even as a guy smell. Yeah, I smell it and it's like huh You can't say that Kyle you can't say that kyle well you just don't name him uh the whole scenario though i can't really talk about that can i no no no not a good idea oh my bad i wanted to tell you guys the thing but there's a person on Earth who thought it was something else. He confused it with something else. So anyway.

I've been muted this whole time. I said fucking say it. And I don't know what those things smell like. So I really can't reign in. I just think that's silly as shit. When was that? Oh, you probably can't say that either. Yeah, and he couldn't.

Was I there? It was August probably can't say that either. Yeah, he couldn't. Was I there? It was August 1955. I wasn't there. I was over the sky. I'm just wondering at home. There's just a lot of no's going on in the chat. That's all Kyle said. No, you weren't there.

No, you can't say it. It was a private chat. I mean, if we're talking about it about is it really private i mean yes totally i think we should watch joe break down this this video oh did you say the subway train beat oh this is it i was like i was like i was how did you say a little subway train beat all this is it I was a real man I was like did you save the video because I want to watch it on the show I've got it fucking love you what is this good everybody cue up at zero cue up at zero okay I want you to judge this technique tell us about the power

in his hands, etc. Oh wait wait. Need to go to the big screen. Spoopy alerts. Ready, set, play. I don't need volume, right? It might make it more enjoyable. Yeah, yeah.

Oh shit. Oh. Not good with a professional fighter, so I don't shit right now. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.

Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh. Not good when the professional fighter saying no shit right now. That is a big dude. The other guy's small I think too.

Oh. He's saying don't play with me bro. Don't play with me. He's still hitting him. See now Joe would have walked off by now. Yeah. Y'all fuck with the wrong one today how is that guy you know I this is hard for me horribly oh he's not once more this guy does not give a fuck he's's like, hey, I'm hurt.

Just bought a scratch. We're getting into a seven minute video. Look at him. That didn't hurt. No, don't get up. Don't get up. I'm taking a nap. You bored me with your silly display, sir. You bored me.

Excuse me. I fell asleep momentarily. Now it's time for you to get an ass, one. You've sullied my best shirt. You can't walk here no more By the way the big guy. I'm pretty sure is the bad guy. Yeah He sounds like the bad guy for sure. Yeah, I did It's hard to tell now the reason why it's further things ensue well it's just like the little guy keeps keeps like antagonizing the big guy instead of sitting down and do him like this yes big guy says I'll fucking all right you want to go and then he starts well I don't know he's the bet

you can tell he's the bet all he's blocking his way here man you can tell he's the bad guy cuz everyone's running away from them like a school of fish as the big guy that guy's so yeah he's a bully man like see you can fight for another 20 years Joe this guy's 54 I would choke that guy. I'll put that guy to sleep the big one Yeah, you have to because no matter no matter how hard I hit that guy he's gonna keep coming no matter how hard you hit this little motherfucker He's gonna have like I mean he doesn't know what his name is anymore But he's still stepping look at pulling his shorts up like getting ready to like Just say again, he's not gonna be right after this

Yeah, he mean after all those hits. That's for sure each one of those a concussion for sure He took three good ones there and we're not even halfway through the video Well, it's the end of his beating actually. Like, they basically talk shit from here on out, and the little guy continues to not give a fuck. And just stand there. The big guy continues to talk shit and be like, I'll fuck all y'all up. Like, you fucking the wrong one today. The little guy clearly wins, but it's... Wait.

I had the big guy ahead on the scorecard at this point. No way. No way. No punches landed by the little guy. I'm good. I'm gonna count the significant strikes. How many points do you give for blocking the aisle way? The big guy is scared at this point. He knows the only way he's gonna get this guy to stop is by killing him. And he doesn't want to go to jail.

Are you crazy? Little guy wins. The big guy is not scared at all. I love when we just assume things and fill in subplot stories. This is the little engine that could. The little engine that could. See, he's gotten the guy's respect. He's gotten the big guy's respect.

He's like, I fucking cracked this guy with every shot. Probably ten times. And he is still coming. If he gives him daps, I wouldn't be surprised. Daps? Yeah, when like touch fists. Oh my god. Now watch this.

Oh, it's not over. Another guy tries to come on the train. This person. Nah, fuck that. And these two just kind of argue for the next three minutes. They never fight. No, but the little guy and this guy go upstairs to fight. You don't see it, but that's where it concludes. So what happened there?

Did you guys catch it? Another person, a medium-sized or normal-sized person comes on, and suddenly he's fighting with the big black guy too. What's their disagreement? All I know, all I can make out every time we watch this is the other guy says, nah, fuck this or whatever, after looking at the guy bleeding from the nose And then whatever the big guy is saying he's talking shit the whole time They gotta get the next train. Yeah

Yeah, the big guy is trying to encourage him to come on the train with him like lock yourself in a steel cage with me I'm this is what I'm looking for That big guy needs to go to jail. This is why there's weight classes in the UFC. This is why there should not be weight classes in the UFC. You see how entertaining this video is? There comes a point where just size overcomes technique. I would like to think that if there was a guy that big and I had to deal with him, I could. But I don't know if I could.

I don't know what his technique was besides blocking the aisle way. Stepping to and backpedaling real quick when the guy answered. Basically, you have to try and stay safe as long as you can, and then you've got to get on his back and choke him unconscious. Like in Princess Bride, the Andre the Giant approach. Yeah, just like... Like, what if you got him in your guard? No, I mean, guard, you'd be fucked he would swing

yeah you'd be in a lot of trouble you couldn't hook the leg and stop the slam and i don't think so i mean maybe i could tear his knee but that wouldn't help me in the short term i mean he would have a messed up knee mad yeah you gotta choke someone like that or shoot them or shoot them or stab them like we got this guy at my gym, he's a little guy. He has a knife that's embedded in the shoelaces of his shoe. Well, party three of this confrontation says soon he ain't afraid of no knife.

That's true, but if I had someone on my guard and I had a knife, they would knock me off. Look at this. Now the two of them leave together to go fight. Eh. They're boys, I told you, he earned his respect. Nope.

They're gonna fight again. He earned his respect. Later he killed him that night. Yeah, this is after the little guy got on the phone and said, We at Westing Street could bring our boys. Just hit him until his face turns to pulp like in Sin City at the end. I feel like that's where that little guy's headed. So, Joe,

what do you think your odds are with that big guy? I assumed you would just wreck him, that you'd be very difficult to hit. He'd be punching your elbows. He wouldn't like it. It'd be difficult to hit, but if he did hit me, I'd be in a lot of trouble.

I don't know. I mean, it depends on if you're talking, fighting him on that train. Yeah, that's the thing, too. Yeah, yeah. Like, I've often, sometimes in my daydreams, I'm like, nah, I really need a grass field. Can we get ourselves on a grass field somewhere? Right?

You probably think the same thing. I mean, because, like, almost anything you do, like, he's he's probably even i lock up an arm lock i do anything like that i try to triangle him anything like that like he's gonna he's so much bigger than me he's gonna be able to like launch me like there's guys in my gym that are really big that like i try and submit and like i can eventually get them but like i have to work really really hard for it when they come that big we got a kid in my gym uh will and he's like six five like three over 300 pounds probably 310 320 and he's a freaking monster and like i'll get on his back and he'll just like he'll reach down catch my leg and just whip me in front of him i just i literally can't do it yeah well let me see if i can see a picture of him, of Will, beside me.

He's enormous. But, like, you rolled with some incredible Hulk-looking dude in Chicago and got the best of him. Yeah, but he was, like, 190 pounds. That guy was probably, what, 230? That guy was like 265. Which guy? Which guy in Chicago? No, that's the black guy.

The 54-year-old. No, that dude on the train just then. Oh, no, no, I thought you were saying someone that I grapple with. There was a mix-up, yeah. We agreed, and I said, well, this guy was probably 230, and then they're all saying 265. We switched people. Jeremy was 220, 225.

That guy was like 6'5", and he was beefy. So I'm saying 260, 270. Yeah, he's a big boy. He can't. I don't know anything about anything, but when he's that much bigger than you, it's like when you fight a kid or something. It's just like, ah like that normal stuff don't work

anymore you watch my video here sure I really like this I did it was a related video to the one we just watched and so I don't need an intro we just roll into it I'm cute as zero ready set play goomba TV you know what you little bitch your ass out when they get your ass in the motherfucking penitentiary you gonna have to stand protected custody 24 hours of motherfucking day cuz the first day you come out I swear to God I'm gonna find out who in the same prison you is and I'm gonna send them 166 motherfucking dollars don't fuck your motherfucking asshole inside

out crazy motherfucker i bet this motherfucker's mama and daddy brother and sister and they incest he looked like one of them motherfucking monsters off a wrong turn on the hills mushroom shaggy dude looking mother i hope the first day you in jail a motherfucker beat your motherfucking head against a motherfucking wall with a motherfucking lunch tray or a motherfucking locker box. I hope I hope you're walking down a motherfucking stairs to go to medical and break your motherfucking neck. Why the fuck you have to come to a black people's church to shoot that motherfucker? Why you ain't go to the trailer park and get on the motherfucking pickup truck Wow, that's all it takes folks 166 bucks you can get somebody's asshole turned inside out in prison

Maybe it's 166 dollars. That's what it costs. That's a lot of money inside. They go, fuck you good boy. That's 22 packs of smokes in prison currency. These guys make like 50 cents an hour. Yeah. Not even that. I think it's less. Honestly, I think it's like 10 cents.

Yeah, I agree. Honestly, I always heard it was like a nickel. Like something retarded like that. It was so little that it's like 10 cents yeah i i agree i think i think it might honestly i always heard it was like a nickel like something retarded like that it was so little that it was like oh well when they tell you that you're just gonna be like well what's the fucking point like really it's a very small amount of money but it is time to talk about um eagle energy vapor i'll do the ad read then maybe we can discuss them a little bit so hang on, let me get prepared for the ad read. I gotta get ready for this thing. Alright.

Was that 40 doses? Yeah. That was 40. This episode of Wrangler Already is being brought to you by Eagle Energy Vapor. Eagle Energy Vapor is the most innovative energy boost product out there. Using guarana, taurine, and

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So you can check out their website at eagleenergyvapor.com and go to their Indiegogo campaign at bit.ly.com forward slash pkaenergy to find out more. If this looks like a product you might be interested in, help them out however you can and let them know in the comments on their page that we sent you. I'm going to tell you. You get 10 of these motherfuckers and you really start laying into them. This is a real buzz

I'm getting off these things. This is outrageous. I'm not sure if it's healthy. I'm feeling a lot of caffeine going through my veins right now. It I feel a lot of caffeine like, like, sitting through my veins right now.

This feels like like five times the coffee. Joe, your speakers are playing too. Yeah, I, I killed it. So, uh, so yeah,

I'm not sure what the pricing was, but ten of these I think is the, uh, the correct process. Yeah, your Indiegogo

is trying to make three packs so you can buy smaller ones. Yeah, for some reason we can stick to sales three packs. We're still coming. Yeah, for some reason we can stick to sales, Jeff. And I can see it's your box blinking. One, two, three. One, two, three.

Still going? Yeah, we fixed it. Mic check. Yeah, that seems better. So yeah, I'm really excited about these people. I don't know how Chiz landed them as a sponsor, but I'm really digging it. These things taste pretty fucking good. I like that they light up on the end to make sure they get all ten of them going.

I think I'm going to get a band-aid or something. Or not a band-aid, but like a rubber band to keep them all together. It's a bit phallic, though, when you're wrapping your mouth around that many. No, you're good. Do it again. I like it. Do it again.

Let the whiteness seep out. I even like the I can't tell if I'd call that a spit or a swallow. Oh, that's a swallow. Yeah. So I'm digging those. That's definitely a ton. I feel really weird now. That's a lot

of energy I'm getting from those things. I think that's energy. Well, you hope things. I think that's energy. Well, you hope so. If half your face starts to go numb. That's just the energy working extra hard. All right? You don't need to feel that. I think I'm definitely a believer. I don't know how many doses I just had, though.

Let's see, 10 of them. I popped it at least 10 times. That's 100 doses. Doses. Yeah, that's about 100 doses. Kyle's good to go for another five hours. At least. Are we ever going to do that record-breaking podcast?

Yeah. Are we ever going to do that? Have we watched this video already? If Guinness ever gets their shit together. Oh, that's what we're waiting on that's right Daniel's headbutt full video I saw this this is awesome all right let's queue up all right I need to back off a bit uh big screen ready set play did you see that? Yep. Pick a truck. Cabo.

He's a big spike. Look at that! The guy's in reverse! Hey, hell no you ain't gonna tell me shit! So what did the other guy on the bike do that was wrong? In my motherfucking truck! I can explain. I don't care a fuck you just said to me! I got that shit on the goddamn camera!

I don't care! No bullshit! I don't care! Oh yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

I love this! Let's play! That shit is uncalled! Oh, Decker! Watch this! No, all you do is do this! Oh, I'd love it if he knocked her the fuck out. That shit's on film!

I don't care, man! On film! You was in my lane! Where's your fucking plate? So watch, I think they explain it in this video. You know who the fuck I am. This might be where it ends. Well that was awesome.

Yeah, it's funny because- I saw it coming and I was like, that guy makes business. It's something out of a movie. Yeah. I was like that guy makes business Yeah, I'm glad he kept the helmet on it made no sense to take it off Here the next day he spots us again He's like look at this motherfucker go ahead buddy McGinty What do you want to do? What do you want to do? A bottle? A bottle? Did they throw a bottle or something?

They threw a bottle, yeah. Here, watch the follow up. We'll cue it at zero so we're all together. Alright. You guys ready? I have an ad. Alright. He explains everything that happened. They threw a bottle in the video cut off that should have ended with him fucking hightailing it right behind him

you guys ready? yeah ready set play hey everyone it's Jake and I want you just to bear with me here for this first voiceover that I'm trying so everybody wants an update on the famous headbutt video let me first say really didn't expect this video to take off like it did I really honestly wasn't even gonna post it to YouTube but I'm glad I did. You made a thousand bucks. Gained me a lot of subscribers. Yeah, a lot of subscribers.

I've really been thinking about starting a moto-blog, and I've never really got the push to do it. No, they want you to headbutt more people, dummy. Yeah, right? Do a loop. It's his buddy, right? It's his buddy that did the headbutt. Yeah. It's a YouTube channel. They're not subscribing because they like you, you pussy.

All you did is know someone. That's him. He claims we flew past his house and endangered his kids. He already had his kids loaded up in the truck, not seat belted in. And at no point did I think we endangered his kids at all. I think if anybody endangered them, it was himself. And one other point that I want to touch on was, at the point we went by his house, it was 20 minutes before he actually tried to run us off the road. So he rode around for 20 minutes, kids in the truck, looking for us to run us off the road. But that's really going to be it for today.

I should have a mic in about a week and then a couple of days after that I'm going to try to get my phone out. Well, I'm very excited for this guy's channel. I'm not. Yeah. Wow. Oh, my God. Can you upload what happened when he threw the bottle at you? It's the number one problem.

I want to see them chase him down. Not a goddamn thing happened. He's the road warrior? Like, what do you think he did? He went home. Yeah. But that's it so they drove by the guy's house i couldn't tell how fast he was going just by looking at

the road but it didn't seem obscene or anything nah then the guy chased him around for 20 minutes i felt like the picket driver did a half-assed job at trying to run him off watching he was only halfway into his lane it happens in the first second I don't even know how he did that. How do you get in front of them and then come against them? Like, they're on motorcycles. Dude, he's taking up half the lane. Yeah, exactly. See the other video?

He's got another video. Or head-on collision. He's got another video where he's going 175 miles an hour on his bike. So the guy's driving around like an asshole. So the guy shouldn't have... Oh, no, they did a good... I'm going to rewatch. They did a good job of taking up the lane. The other option was taking up the full lane, and they would

have been off the road, literally. That's what I'm saying. I think that the pickup truck driver wasn't trying to actually do anything but scare him. He took half the lane and left him easily a motorcycle width to drive by. The drivers are pussies.

175 in 26 seconds here? This is going to be great. What? Oh, chose. 70. 140. 140. 190.

100. 120. 130. 140. 150. So you're ahead of me. 160. You know, we see you know that's how we watch videos the announcement 70 well he gets to a hundred in a hurry bikes are amazing and they are

is it 120 140 just like that it's when a rogue deer crosses the street and just explodes on impact bottom in half if you ever seen impact. I cut them in half. Have you ever seen videos of that? It cuts them in half. They just explode. There's onboard GoPro videos of people hitting deer right in the middle with crotch rockets. They just fucking explode. Yeah, so the guy probably does drive like an asshole.

Maybe he did go fast past that guy's house. He didn't go that fast. It still doesn't warrant running somebody. It did scare him a little bit. Yeah, but they chased him for 20 minutes. He put his life at risk. That was crazy. And whoever else could have been in that lane behind the biker.

I know there was no one there, but still. We can see what he did to the biker in front. His buddy was ahead of him, I think. Maybe just contrarian by nature. I just kind of felt like, this guy's no angel. You know, he's like, that guy chased me around, and all I did is drive by. If anyone put his daughter at risk, it was him,

because there's no seatbelt. It's like, alright, that's a fair point. But, you drive like an asshole. You do. You drive like an asshole, and you post it on YouTube. Yeah, I'm not denying that, but I don't think the response was of equal proportions to spend 20 minutes hunting someone down, going in opposing traffic,

and trying to scare him that puts everyone's life at risk on the road. The guy was an asshole and a pussy because... Is it the first time he drove like an asshole? I don't think going... Everybody that has one of those bikes does that. I mean, everybody I know who's got an R1 or an R6 or something, they take it as fast as they can fucking go. They want to go 150 plus.

That's kind of the point of having that bike with, what, 220 horsepower or some bullshit like that? Yeah, on a bike. Yeah, so I don't hold against him that he went 176 or whatever. In that video, like you, I couldn't really tell his speed. I couldn't see his speedometer very well. It looked like he was doing 50. Yeah, 50. Even if he was going 80,

you don't try to run the guy down. Obviously, his intention wasn't to kill the guy there, but what he did was way over the top. He was halfway into that lane. His right tires were on the line, and he was in the left lane. He's all the way out of his own lane.

That was pretty crazy. I was glad Jim got headbutted. And I wanted his wife to get beaten up more than he did. And he's a pussy because he got headbutted and didn't do anything. The wife thing in particular. Girls, please don't get all aggressive like that. She jumped in there, put her arm out. I wanted him to just punch her in the jaw so bad, just fucking lights out.

You get a headbutt. And you get a headbutt. I really hate it when women jump in like they're wearing a bulletproof vest. Yes. Yeah, that it's not my favorite thing. Yeah, reminds me of my mother.

They probably do meth. Did your mother do that? Jump in like she had a... Oh, she'd go after my dad like that. Because it was true. You know, he's certainly not going to hit her. But I think I've told this story before of her like... She keeps walking toward him. He's walking backwards.

And she's coming at him with these like Shaolin monk pinches. They like come in real fast, grab, and then twist and pop. And she's double-handed him, going at his chest like titty twisters, constantly. And he's not flinching. He's just in an even tone talking to her. He's like, now, Holly, I told you this, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And he's, like, talking to her, and she's like, no! No! Pow! Pow! Pow! And he's just, like, taking him over and over yeah she totally do that would do that and she popped me that time she she made that she made a fist like this and was just like bam like right in the mouth like she's totally like that yeah wow those energy sticks i'm sweating over here maybe a hundred puffs was wow i have to...

So describe the rest of the sensation. Are you energetic? Are you just hot and bothered? Are you high? Are you thinking straight? I'm definitely hot and bothered. I feel kind of sweaty and hot. And it's 71 degrees in this room right now.

I feel like I've had a lot of coffee, I think. I feel like a lot of coffee. No, I'm not tunnel vision. Jesus Christ. I'll make it. I can drive and all. Definitely a lot of energy, though. Plus, I've had two cups of coffee and a glass of titty milk. Do you ever take

Adderall? You were taking that a while back, like a year ago. I don't know if you still do. Yeah, I've still got a prescription for Adderall. Yeah, I still take it sometimes. Okay. I've't know if you still do. Yeah, I've still got a prescription for Adderall. Yeah, I still take it sometimes. Okay. Do I have something to do? Oh, when you have something to do, that's when you take it. I got really sketchy there from it.

We both heard you like, do you have something to do? What do you like? I'll slip it to you. You know? Yeah. As soon as I expressed an interest in Adderall, everyone just started writing me on the internet telling me not to do it that it was don't do it woody it's poison it's

literally poison it ruined my life it made me want to die you're gonna people on the internet are real bitches and then when we and then no adderall no attack, just a bunch of bitches. Tell me what I can and can't do. Like one little blue pill or one eight foot fish is gonna cause a problem. Of course not, you'll survive, right? So Joe, I've got this idea for a video. It's called the shark attack. So basically we chum a shark up, get him to come to the surface of the water.

I'm thinking like a big shark, like eight feet long. I'm not a shark expert, but I think we'd want to avoid one of those really scary sharks, like a tiger shark or something. So I don't know what kind of shark we're going to jump on. Hammerhead. Whatever. Eight-foot hammerhead, okay? I want to jump on its back out of the boat.

I want to hit it with a fucking ice axe or something similar and and hopefully i hang on to the ice axe as it tries to swim away and i ride it a little bit and then i release come to the top you know and uh you know they get me back in the boat tries implies the shark's gonna have some kind of difficulty swimming away hanging on while it swims, whether I can sink the ice axe deep enough in its fishy flesh. July of 2016,

Jimmy Kimmel's going to start crying about Kyle picking on sharks. So Petey the shark, beloved by all, known for his ball act where he'd bounce beach balls through the waves. And for saving little orphan Annie back in the spring of 2015.

Kyle baited the shark. I think it's called baiting. He leapt from the boat. Here he is. They'd show pictures of me, like, my foot on the shark. Mid-air. No, I'm marginally serious about this. Marginally serious. To the point where if the pieces were to fall together for me, I would probably do it. Because I don't have a problem jumping on top of a shark.

Because I don't think sharks are like mammals. And they're going to have... Alright, so you know why... First of all, I've got to talk. Because I don't know why no one has ever, including Taylor, no one has ever said this. Every time you say, well, the shark's gonna be afraid. It's gonna swim away. This monkey is jumping on me.

It doesn't understand fear. That's not, it doesn't have emotions. It totally does. It's a fish, like you keep saying. Fight or fight. They don't, but animals don't fight normally. Mammals fight. Sharks don't have fear.

This is a shark, right? So he is the alpha of the of his entire planet it's not true the orcas eat the great white sharks orcas are the king of the sea right the king of the sea yeah unless you count the sperm whale which eats those giant squid and could i don't know i feel like it could eat a killer whale if it could catch it. In any case, here's the deal. The reason, the reason things like horses kick you when you're behind them and the reason you can't like surprise a horse is they have these like evolutionary responses where like they evolve so that if a big cat jumps on its back, it reacts in a certain way. That's why it's hard to break a horse. Sharks don't have that evolutionary process. They haven't

had to go through the last hundred million years with shit jumping on their back. They've been pretty effective at what they do. It's never once ever, ever, ever happened. They have no reason to respond to it with aggression. And because it hasn't, it means it's not going to be afraid. It's going to feel pain, and

it's going to run. That's what's going to happen. You hit a shark, it runs. If you're confident in that, why are you gonna do it with such a pussy shark? Well, we don't want to. I feel like if you pick a big shark, then you do risk your life. There is the risk that, like, some other shark in the water kills me, right? So, like, I jump in the water, I kill this shark,

now there's shark blood in the water. I remember you saying that if you did this to the one shark, they'd all scare you away. I know you said that. I feel like I can only do that if I'm able to fully assert my dominance. If you disembowel the shark, the other sharks will know. No, I don't think that'd do it. See, the way

sharks work, I would have to fuck the shark. I would have to roll the shark onto its back and insert myself. You have to assert dominance. I'd rather see this video than the jumping on the shark. When the other sharks smelled my semen and they knew that I was their leader,

they would all just get the fuck out. My hope, my true hope, and I didn't want to say this out loud, but it's how I feel deep down. It's what I'm planning. My hope is that they see me as their new leader and that maybe I can. Can we take my spot? Can we please, to just make sure you don't die can we please get you they used to sell these the little hat with the dorsal fin on it and the floaties that match

so they know without a doubt you're the leader i always had this idea and i've always had this thought that like what if you could jump on him and like slip a chain into his mouth and then hang on to it like reins and like you know pull back on that and like sink your spurs in. He's gonna swim 80 miles per hour dragging you and you're gonna let go of this chain. He's gonna turn his head and bite you. They can't turn their head. That's not- Did you just say a shark only swims 25 miles per hour? I don't know how fast- Definitely not 80 so I'll look it up.

Yeah, alright here, let's's my guess is 25 miles an hour is top speed for a shark 25 is pretty fast in the water 25 is really fucking fast I feel like I'm overshooting um 80 I feel like the barracuda is if I'm guessing is the fastest fish in the sea mako shark 50 miles per hour the mako shark well we that's that's we want to avoid that they're giving me cruising speeds I don't want the cruising speed of a shark. It's miles per hour. I'm seeing 24.5 miles an hour, 43 miles per hour on what shark? I don't know. I don't pick the blue shark. Oh, blue shark. That's what I'm trying to, how big do they get? Six and a half feet around. I bigger you need I want to like I don't

want to find the biggest the biggest blue shark is only two feet yeah I don't have to find the biggest blue shark of all time I want to be a shark that regularly gets to like you know six eight feet how fast does a hammerhead swim I don't see a reason why we can't make this happen. It seems like... 25 miles an hour, it says, for a hammerhead shark. So that's exactly what you said, right? Yeah.

Turns out, you know a thing or two about sharks. White sharks might have bursts of 35 miles an hour. You know this has already been done, right? With the guy with the... It's not a shark, though. It's a tuna or something. Or marlin. A guy jumped out of a helicopter on a marlin. And wrestled it.

Do you remember that video? Yeah, yeah. Let's watch it. That's just about as scary if you ask me. I watched a couple videos of people riding sharks. And it's a thing. People have ridden sharks before. They usually do it with scuba gear underwater and they just grab a fin.

And in that case, the shark's like, all right, whatever, and lets him do it. Yeah, it hasn't been attacked. I want to attack the shark. That's the funny part. It's going to attack you back. It's going to fucking, ah, fuck. No longer available. Oh, man.

What is this? Fuck you, Tidelines Television. television. Oh, wow. This one's seven years old. I don't know. I got it. Second one up. Boom. Oh, my God.

I've got a pretty crazy video too. This is only a two minute video. You wanna watch the whole thing? Yeah, and I've got a really cool one after that. I've got a guy spearing an elk. Are you guys ready? Yes. Set. Play. Top comment says it's completely fake,

which I kind of figured anyway. Not really. The ultimate fishing show. Ooh, what if we did this? What if we flew around in a helicopter and found a shark? You're getting high. And we had like a rope tied to me. I'll go in and grab the shark and then they gain altitude and I take it with me. That would work.

You could wrap the liner with the shark. That would work, you chose response. That would totally not work at all. Maybe you pet it, earn its trust, and then you buckle it up. I think I set it up. Kyle, I don't think that you can do that with a Mahi-Bahi. It took the copter and it's... Right?

We're just gonna get lined up now. And while the fish are still feeding on the seafish, we're gonna... What if I have a harpoon? He's just really gonna... This is gonna be funny. Birds can't... birds do this. Wow it looks real. I mean it might be real but I don't think the jumping from the helicopter. Wow! Wow that's crazy. And then turn around and stab him.

It looks... How can that be fake? And then turn around and stab him. It looked very close. How can that be fake? The helicopter. He probably jumped out of a boat. Look at the cut when it goes from water when he impacts. It just feels like it was cut and he didn't jump from it. How did they get a cameraman in the water at the spot they were going to jump out of a helicopter at? You know what I mean? Think about that one. Alright, so I got one here of a guy at you know what i mean think about that one all right so i got one here of a guy spearing a fucking elk i'm watching it at quarter speed i just want to see it one more time

he jumps out of a helicopter tick tick tick tick god damn i can't tell if it's fake I'm trying to find a difference in the dive, like what he has going on in the helicopter and what he has going on underwater. Like his arms, how far apart they are and stuff. The angle. I can't see that it's fake. I don't know.

I assume it's fake. I just can't prove it. Okay, Kyle's video? Yes, sure. I am linking it now if I haven't know. I assume it's fake. I just can't prove it. Okay. Kyle's video? Yes. Sure. I am linking it now if I haven't already. I think I did, though. Oh, I think you did, yeah. 346 long? Yes. Are you ready?

Uh, yes. Ready, set, play. After dressing the big buff, Jared was back in the hunt. This time he's changed weapons and went for his cold steel Zamburu spear. Thousands of years before, as with Jared, his ancestors waited with spear in hand. Hmm. The bull has no idea that death is perched above. I wouldn't want to jump out of the tree.

Forget the whole spear thing. He's not gonna. He's gonna throw. Yeah. You better be good at this, otherwise it's just mean. He hits it and it bounces off. Right? Oh, look at that spear. I mean, it had all kinds of special cuts in it. It's a cold steel spear. Yeah, it's made for that.

It looked like a good throw. It was awesome. It just ran off. That's- that's- they do. Like, if you shoot it with a bow or something like that, or with a gun, it's gonna run. Even if you shoot it with a gun, if you don't hit it in the heart Vikings defensive end. Oh See I bet him in the back probably pretty good throw I think I think yeah, I'm with Kyle. He's probably down What do you think if there was someone like, like a Brock Lesnar?

You think he could kill a deer with like a hatchet? Oh yeah, he's dead. He's dead. Oh totally, yeah. Oh certainly. He could chase down the deer and- Not chase down though. Not chase down, no. In a confrontation with a deer, a big, a really big like superhuman almost guy like Lesnar would beat up a deer though, I believe.

I believe. My deer got in a wrestling match- my dad got- fought a deer one time. The deer had already been shot, but it stood up and he had the antlers and it was like trying to get away and he held on because he was afraid it was going to run me over because I was five with him. Oh, yeah. I just don't know why deer are so badass.

Everyone makes a big deal out of deer. They're hooved animals that weigh 150 pounds or something. Running for its life, too. Those are all daggers. You'd be amazed at what you could do if you were running for your life. You'd be surprised how strong some animals are. Like have you ever worked with cattle at all Woody? I know. I've ridden a horse.

Like a calf? That's similar. But like I don't know. They just have so much power for such small animals. 150 pound like cow is so much more powerful than a 150-pound man. I remember Carl tried to convince us what great jumpers cows were. They are, and I proved it, remember? Yeah, he proved it.

What? Yeah. Oh, wait, no. Now I remember. We watched video after video after video. They would just walk over. They'd do a little bunny hop. They didn't jump.

It was like, oh, and then they'd drag their udders across the fence and shit. Yeah, they kind of let it jump. They up and over stuff. But you know, they jump fences that are five, six feet tall. You said that last time. We never saw a single video of them jumping a five foot fence. Yeah, there was no evidence at all. They were all like two foot fences that they could kind of over and then they'd scrape their bellies over it and then their back legs would come over. They'd find a three foot fence and they could hardly clear over, and then they'd scrape their bellies over it, and then their back legs would come over. They'd find a three-foot fence, and they could hardly

clear their udders. Yeah. Cows are terrible jumpers. I could out-jump a cow, I think. Like a box jump. Absolutely. I have a different. They jump in fences.

They're not. I could probably get six feet, six inches off the ground. I don't think a cow can get more than a foot or two Oh my gosh so many videos of cows Jenny was wrong every time I remember this so vividly now that Woody brings Because they would like but they'd throw their feet over the fence and then like drag their bellies And their back feet would come back over It's like look he jumped that fence that was two and a half feet tall like no he fuckingies over and then their back feet would come back over. It's like, look, he jumped that fence

that was two and a half feet tall. Like, no, he fucking walked over it and scraped half of himself. Joe, weigh in on the cow jumping. Do you have any experience in this? Isn't your father a cowboy or something? I've been around a lot of cows, but not too many of them jumping. Like, a cow is kind of like a pig.

If there's a little bit of daylight, it's going to try to get through. Certainly not a five foot fucking fence.'re not olympians like that is you would so see a video if that were a thing because that's a remarkable distance to jump cows wouldn't be short fences uh they don't clear the fence normally but they get over it so there'd be a video of a cow jumping into a six foot fence and bouncing off these videos would be out there. The front part of their body goes over it, and the back part will often drag the top of it, and then they go right over.

It's that jumping and clearing of five or six foot fence, let alone we've never seen what you just said. They jump, and they go over. Okay, you're changing what you're saying now. I- I just- I've seen cows jump. You know, pka subreddit, let's see your cow jumping videos. I know you're looking for a video now to prove yourself right because he's not having any luck. I am I'm on my first one This one is totally an example of the cow getting its first its front end up on top of like a four and a half Five foot gate and then just putting its body weight on it and that's not a jump though

I just slammed the fence down with the front half of my body. I can jump anything if I just lean over hard enough on it. Jump. If it can't support my body weight, I can jump anything. I leave the ground when I jump. That's why it's called a jump. These cows are just really slow and lazy fat asses. So, Joe, what is that playground you've got going on behind you?

Is that your... Yeah, this is Joey's, like, play area. Oh, what's the... Oh, I found my video. Wow. Now, do you think a cow could jump out of it? That's the question. Well, see, no.

It would jump by just putting its front end over and then breaking the playground. All right. All right. Queue up at zero and watch this cow jump. All right. This is a sample of a cow with a running jump which is what I was looking for because when I've seen

cows jump, it's because they're panicked or they're freaking out. Is this a cow, first of all? I'm paused at zero. This is like a fucking bull. The cow on screen is not the one doing the jumping. Okay. Alright, so we're going to see. Wow, what cow jump? Yeah, okay. is not the one doing the jumping okay all right so we're gonna see Wow what cow jump yeah okay cow jumps over man 2014 are you ready This is the cow question. That is bullshit.

That fucking worked. That was a running cow joke. That was pretty awesome. I have to see that again. That cow totally jumped. When they're running like that, it's different. Holy smokes. That was like a gazelle. I've never even seen a cow run. I feel like this is bullshit.

Exactly! That's what I'm saying! If you're on a farm though, you see this shit. They don't do it every day. I've never seen a cow jump like that. It's like an emergency scenario. Have you seen a cow run? Let's start from there. Oh my god, Kyle! You were right and I was wrong. If you're on a- they don't normally do this stuff. It's the stuff they do when they're threatened or they're freaking out but I've seen that scenario a bunch of times like when you're trying to catch them to sell them they they freak out they jump really high distances sometimes they care upwards thousand views it looks like it's in India not sold the first

one look like a Indian man what's like, that's an Indian man! What's he, five foot nothing? Dude, that cow had hops. It looks so fake! Like it picks up its whole back end and it's perfect. It had to, it had to to clear that man. It looks so cartoonish.

I'm trying to think of some of the things I've seen cows do. I just keep watching it, it looks so cartoonish like I'm trying to think of some of the things I've seen cows do I just like watching it looks so cartoonish I Wanted so many cows jump that night just how after captain cow barely leaving the ground old athletic they just walk up to it raise their front end and put their and kind of drag their belly over it as they Come up and let their back end clear it But I was worried they were gonna lose an udder yeah i've seen them lose udders before oh that has to be awful god well does milk just pour out everywhere is it like dropping a gallon of milk no because they

don't always have milk um but but i was so angry with that particular cow at that time that i was like good serves you right like no titty for you you't fix it? You can't sew the titty back on? No, I ate the titty. I was mad at the cow, so we cooked it and ate it. You're going to hell. We didn't eat the titty. I've never heard of cow titty.

We were catching cows one time, and the way you do it is you kind of lure them into this big corral, like a legit fenced-in area that's small enough to be manageable. It's like a tiny trailer. No, it's more like a a legit fenced in area that's small enough to be manageable and you can you tiny trailer no it's more like it no it's more like a um like a big circular pin with like an eight foot fence that they can't jump um they can jump the six foot fences that are normally there and that way i'm sorry to cut you off i thought there was a gap there but you know the little things

where they give a medicine that's's what I was talking about. Ah, that's like a chute. You run them down a chute, and then there's like a head gate that locks on their head, and their head's on one side, their shoulder's behind it, and you can do whatever you want to them then. But no, you get them in this big corral, and you keep working them, separating the ones you want to sell from the ones you want to go back out into the pasture. And you cut them over and over into a smaller group by pushing them through this fence.

And then you lock that gate behind them. And you pick out the ones you want. They go down a chute. Then you open up that head gate we mentioned. And they all go up on a cattle trailer that's connected to a truck. And you drive them off and sell them, ideally. But sometimes they just go crazy crazy ape shit because they're you know semi-domesticated animals in a confined area and i've seen them go after people and fuck people up and uh it's it's pretty fun i i always enjoy it whenever my dad's doing that i tried to go over there and and at least watch

and i've jumped in there before and it's kind of like playing chicken with cows because they they're not sure how strong they are and they have no idea how strong you are. So if you're like, ah, ah, and you run at them with a stick, a 2,000-pound bull will be like, oh, shit, don't fuck me up, dude. They'll run from you. But you have to have the balls to do that, to step to them and be like, no, I'm in charge. You're moving. And I've had that happen before and they didn't buy it. They just hit the fence

that I'm behind and send me flying through the air. It's always fun working with cattle. How hard does your father have to work to keep his cows going? Zero. Zero. Is it zero? Because I like zero. He doesn't feed them.

In the winter, there's nothing to eat so he feeds them hay hay feeding them hay consists of um he takes his tractor spears a roll of hay drives 10 minutes out in the field drops it off drives 10 minutes back to where the tractor stays parked parks the tractor and he does that every other day uh in the winter and i think bales of hay are like 25 bucks a roll or something like that. And he's got, I don't know, 80 head of cattle, 100. It varies. He has that many cattle?

Yeah. Oh, I thought he had a lot less. I thought he had like seven or something. No, he's got a bunch. This is like a deleted scene from the Matrix. That's like the big ass, the round roll. Yeah, like 600 pounds. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are $87.

Where? On Craigslist. I feel like $25 is very cheap for that, no? I think we get the normal bales of hay. They're like 80 pounds and they're like five bucks. Well, I'm buying them from Levi Levi like the farmer

next door who's like rolling them and maybe so I think that's the deal this this is also who's Levi I'll say Levi I'm looking well you search for hey you don't get much hey how do I do that oh I search for another is the haze being cut off his property so I think there's a deal there as well so four by four round roll is 55 bucks um these big fescue round hables are 50 bucks I don't know where I got 87 I I swear I didn't just make it up but you made it up the square ones like the ones that like you can sort of carry if you hook the sides, are $6. Yeah, it's no good. Those are great for making a paintball field.

If you ever wanted to make a temporary paintball field at your place, like wire spools, square bales, and some old tires, and you can have your paintball filled up for like $200. I might get cows. You should get goats. I watched a video of baby goats last night,

and they're so cute, dude. We used to have baby goats. They're awesome. Coolest pet we ever had. I'm so hot. Jesus Christ. So you know it's working. It is definitely working.

I feel like I need to take a shower after this. It's energy. I Good luck getting to sleep. I feel like I need to take a shower after this. It's energy. I don't think it is. Are you having heart palpitations? Because you know it's working then. If you're in rhythm, it's not working. I've had a lot of chest pain. Good.

Shallow breathing. This is the worst Ed ever. I'm so sorry. No, I'm a big fan of these things this is uh they really do stuff energy I don't think they endorse inhaling 10 10 times yeah I don't know how they're gonna feel about that but just between you and me that's the only way to fly hey 10 puffs is it you know it's a standard dosage you ain't got time to go... He took like 40 puffs, though. You got a good 10 by 4.

At least. But if you're on the go, then you don't want to be puffing away, sucking on this thing. You want to reach into your messenger bag and grab a fist of these. Wow, he did it again. He took another 10 hits. No, do it again. He took another ten hits.

No, do it again. I want a big cloud. That was a weak cloud that time. Hang on. There's a super weak cloud here. Do I have all ten here? Three. Breathe out.

Breathe out first. Blow the arrow. Joe's an evil bitch. There you go. See? That was so much better. He really did do that. I mean, that's a lot.

Good girl. He's still exhaling. Good girl. Wow a lot good girl he's still exhaling good girl wow really good girl some suction on that yeah like right now i've got a real buzz going on i feel really light-headed good everything's getting kind of gray it in you you're like yeah like I'm not 100% here. His face is getting a little hotter. Yeah, everything's getting a little gray. I think I'm going to stop. I think you might have run out and you're just sucking on the batteries.

No, there's 500 puffs in each one. That's 5,000 doses. Holy cow. You won't do them all right now. No balls. You'll attack a shark, but you won't do them all right now. No balls. You'll attack a shark, but you won't puff 500 times. I really am mildly serious about the shark thing. Here's what I'm completely serious about.

I think if I were to do it, the shark would run. Well, it can't run, so... It would swim, maybe. Swim, perhaps. It's not gonna... I don't know there's not a shred of like science or logic backing the statement if you attack the shark with a sharp object behind me ask you this what I would prove my point if like we did this and I hit a shark with a broomstick and it ran away they flew it swam away quickly though right like same thing and what

way is that not the same thing biting it basically it's like if another it's the equivalent of another shirt biting you think they run away when they attack each other yeah yeah I don't think they attack each other for one thing and I I don't think that I I think that they bite each other to hang on to fuck each other but that's the only time they bite each other I don't I think maybe like really big ones might eat really small ones but I don't think like medium-sized sharks attack other medium-sized sharks definitely not at the same species if I had in my opinion That makes up a star Guy the big guy thought the little guy was gonna go away when he hit him. He just kept on coming

Now you're in the opposite role. You're the little guy expecting the big guy to run. He'll run maybe He doesn't have any... I mean, what's he going to do, bite me? That's what the bite suits for. However, sharks will fight each other fiercely for food that they have found. In fact, they will even eat each other when there aren't many options for sources of food.

I think it depends what kind of shark. Sharks are one of the best animals out there when it comes to survival techniques. You're going to fucking die. Yeah yeah running away swimming away swimming away i don't know why you think it has fear and it's going to run away they bite each other i'm gonna find a fucking uh shark expert and and i guarantee it i will take a bet that that anybody who knows anything about sharks is gonna is gonna back my claim up that if you were to do this the shark would be so surprised freaked out that it would it would swim as fast as it could away from there it I guarantee it

but it's not gonna be able to if you're pulling on it too then it's going to lash back and attack whatever asshole is holding on to it I think almost any shark is gonna run I think you're right I mean cuz they're not they're not looking about you they're fish they're fish i mean that's a blanket statement that doesn't answer anything they're fish i mean if you thought they're the most deadliest fish in the in the water it's like any predatory it's like saying ah it's a gorilla same thing as a dog now a gorilla on the other side i feel like if you jumped out of a tree hit a gorilla it kills you right there it beats you to death because you're threatening its property and its family.

And, like, they're territorial. I feel like a gorilla beat you to death. Right there. After it rips your balls off. After it rips... I think... And your face. Do that or primates. I think both. I know chimps are, like, big into that. Chimps rip their faces off. When the males fight each other, I guess it makes sense, since you're fighting for breeding rights anyway.

Just rip the balls off. Like, fights over. Right there. Like, no reason to to continue no need to fight anymore yeah gruesome right sir i'm looking at how to survive a shark attack and uh it appears that kyle's pretty much on point that shark needs to be watching videos on how to survive a human is that the thing where if you hit the shark in the nose it flees away because this just isn't the same scenario this is something literally endangering it basically stabbing it you know like if you swim the shark on the nose, it flees away. Because this just isn't the same scenario. This is something literally endangering it. It basically says, you know, like, if you swim away and look weak, then the shark will

attack you. If you play dead, the sharks attack dead things. But, if you fight the shark, if you use your elbows and knees or a weapon, if you have it, and go after the gills and the eyes, then the shark will run. Who was the surfer that got attacked last week? Fine. Fine. Let's do this.

What was that guy's name? Let's do this. As much as I think that guy was a good story and all, he didn't get attacked, in my opinion. I feel like a curious shark kind of swam by him, maybe bit his leash. I feel like it's... They're really hyping it up for all that happened

was they bumped into each other. Dude, sure. I think he got attacked. He went back out. The second motion was what got it for me. It was like the oh shit moment and then all of a sudden you get slammed. That was the attack.

I can't remember his name. Mick Fanning was it maybe? He took a break from surfing for a week and another shark after he came back. Word has gotten out in the shark community. He didn't get attacked again, but he saw another shark the next time

he went serving. They're in Australia, too. I feel like that's not uncommon. I really wish Woody didn't have a strong aversion to the boating thing so that we could go out and at least experiment with this a bit. I'm not saying go out there and do this, but go out there and see some sharks.

Maybe go shark fishing. No, we should do it. We should do it. I want to do it now. I really am not that afraid to do this. I feel very confident about this whole thing. I want to do it. It's more fun like skydiving or something. That is so boring to watch.

It's boring and Kyle won't do it and I won't either. I want to be... I hope you just get maimed. I don't boring to watch. It's boring and Kyle won't do it and I won't either. I want to be... I hope you just get maimed. I don't want to though. I don't want you to die. Woody finds it boring and I gotta agree. Like just regular skydiving? Because we'd have to jump tandem anyway

because we're new at it. I think skydiving's fun to do. You knock out your tandem guy and then first person to pull the string is the bitch. Skydiving looks super fun to do. You knock out your tandem guy, and then first person to pull the string is the bitch. Skydiving looks super fun to do, and super boring to watch. That's my opinion on skydiving. Yeah,

I feel like it's no shark attack, really, in the end. I would love to do this. I hope that you just get maimed, because I'd like to be right, and you'd still be alive to rub it in on. More likely I miss the shark and he swims away. Well, you're going to jump on it and now I know something's flailing about in the water with chummed up water.

So I don't think you want to miss. I need to look into the laws about killing sharks, too, because, like, I'm sure shark fishing. You go to the Caribbean, it doesn't fucking matter what you're doing. You know, I like to be I'd like to make sure everything i do is you know it's legal there so because because you know i really my the main core of the thing is i want to be able to say that i like the wordplay that it's the shark attack video but i'm the one doing the attacking not the shark i think that's funny and that's what really sells me on the whole idea most people say shark attack and they really mean human attack yeah right they's they're the one it's it's a it's attack against a

human yeah unless everyone's speaking like old caveman shark attack you know like retards but but so i like that a lot so like maybe not an ice axe and hanging on to the thing while it swims maybe jump in and stab it with something that would kill it instantly. Like a shark dart would literally kill it instantly if I jumped in and stabbed it. I'm out now. No. I'm for the lure. That's not hardcore enough.

What if you stab yourself? No, that's cheating because it's going to kill it instantly. What's that? What if you stab yourself? I mean, you're jumping onto something that's moving. I die. Hopefully he's dead. But if he misses, he's dead too, so either way.

Well, I'd still have the dart underwater. There's really a one in three chance in that scenario that Kyle lives when you do that. I'm not positive about how it's triggered, but I imagine it has something to do with being rammed into whatever. But I know that what it does is empty a ton of pressurized air or CO2, I'm not sure which, through the dart into whatever it is. And that apparently insta-kills Shark. You poke him and he just drops dead and sinks to the bottom instantly. It would definitely kill you.

It would kill the fuck out of me. It would kill the fuck out of anything you stabbed it with. Shark dart's a cool weapon. Not many people know about the shark dart. It's a crazy weapon. I think it would work against people. I don't see why not. But yeah, I could do something with a shark dart. No.

Ice pick. Ice axe. Yeah. Yeah, ice axe is the coolest. Why don't you start with a dolphin? Well, that's just mean. Jimmy Kimmel will talk trash about him, that's why. See, the dolphin's not gonna swim a swim away she's gonna try and rape

you afterwards I'm like dolphin to be like you'll try to make friends and like prove that I was wrong or something dolphins are so intelligent it'll shed a tear when the axe hits it like all the other and then all the creatures on the sea will come and see the heinous crime you've committed yeah yeah there's starfish crying fucking tears yeah I don't need all that like I don't want to be a villain of the seas or anything. I just want to do something. I know sharks can sometimes be found alone,

but my experience with dolphin or porpoises, whatever the fuck they are, is there's always, like, 300 of them. Yeah, they back each other up, too. They're running a crew. They'll beat the fuck out of you. They're a posse. They do kill sharks.

They, like, ram them. Bottlenose dolphins will, like, ram them and fucking hit them with their nose, I guess, repeatedly and kill them. I've heard that. I've never seen it. That I do do. They used to... Do you know how dolphins catch fish? They surround them and beach them.

And they just sort of hoard them. And they get all flippy and crazy and they just scare fish. And then they go to the middle and just start chomping down. They do a bunch of cool things. I know they'll use like a – I think they send like a sonar pulse that they do that confuses the fish sometimes. I know they'll work as a group to kind of like put the fish in a pod and they'll like push them closer and closer to the surface and then so the birds are attacking them from the sea and the dolphins are hitting them from below and they just kill, they do hundreds and hundreds of sardines, like as many as they want. Dolphins are smart as fuck. That's why, you ever see

the cove where they slaughter all the dolphins? Yep. So sad. Very sad. Did you also see the mermaid movie? Yeah. Documentary? The Little Mermaid? The Mermaid documentary. Uh uh. Really? movie yeah i i it's documentary sorry the little mermaid the mermaid documentary uh-uh really they made everybody believe that mermaids were real they had like footage on animal planet yeah i watched that mermaid on the beach that like screams at the cell phone footage so me and a girlfriend were in this hotel coming back from Texas on a road trip, and we stopped in Alabama or somewhere on the way back, and we stayed in this hotel. There it was on National Animal Planet. Flip it around, there it is.

I'm like, oh, let's see what this is. They start talking about how early man was semi-aquatic, like we'd live in the shallows and stuff. Then they're like, what if when you know the waters rose that uh you know we we broke off evolutionarily and one subset of man stayed in the water and learned to hold his breath longer and longer and longer and you know the rest of us went back into the jungles or whatever and became what we are and they they basically sold the case that not to me there was a moment that there were mermaids and because like i'd been watching it for

so long and they kept saying it so matter-of-factly you know like presenting bullshit evidence that after a while i was like wait there aren't fucking mermaids but did you did you was it the one though where they showed the cell phone footage of it like some kids finding a mermaid on the beach i i think there was some of that later on. That was the thing about the show. At first, it was so rooted in science and so grounded that you were hooked. You were like, oh shit, maybe there are mermaids. But as it went on, it got more and more ridiculous.

Was the mermaid top half fish or top half woman? In this scenario, it was a little bit of both it seemed like there's the videos like a water ape mermaid proof how long is this minute oh it's it's from like a cell phone that's how they shot it oh I thought it was like an hour-long show well it is I'm talking about this is a portion oh all right evidence ready set play What was that cut No, no whole things like shitty interlaced. Yeah, that's an effect.

Yeah, they did this intentionally. See them mermaids for now? What? They're applying an effect to this to make it so grainy. Like that horizontal line thing. Like... thing like and look at what's in the background this burgess is flapping hard to watch yes trash yeah okay it looks like he's poking a black blob see and yet and yeah I've got perfect audio of like the squishiness of it yeah it's what we find a mermaid beach I'm putting a bitch on my shoulder what Oh

cows little ahead of me he was out of me to go what I stopped watching. Oh. Ah, Chiz wasn't watching the video with us. No, I've seen it. I think I was just too high on those eagle energy. Was it the part I was talking about where the thing wakes up and

Yeah. So I didn't watch it again. It screamed at that boy and it really caught me off guard because I was just kind of lazily watching that. That got me pretty good. Yeah. That was a long minute. Yeah.

It took a while to get to it. That was awful. I didn't like that. I'm glad that got you. I said it. I was like, oh, remember when it screams at you? because i thought you guys were done already oh like i had no idea no no i didn't even catch that i wasn't paying attention yeah well it was alive screaming for help so joe what's next you're gonna call somebody out right here pka uh john jones oh i was gonna say that that'd be funny he's already ducking me he is

ducking joe for is ducking Joe. For the grappling match. Exactly. He's like, I could beat Joe Lozon with my hands taped. Joe's like, deal. Yeah. I knew he was out of the UFC. I think he's running scared.

Exactly. He's got bigger things to worry about right now. I heard he's. He's updated all that just to get away from you. The word is that he's helping other people train and being a good guy and being not John-like at all. That's the only way he'll work his way back into the sport, right? I don't know. How much community service do you have to do to get back in?

He's in a lot of trouble. I don't know what's going to happen. I'm surprised that he's out at Albuquerque, though, and not home. You'd think he'd be home with his kids. They judge him for his Coke use. In Albuquerque, he can a turkey and I hit and run and yeah I don't know and that hit and run did what what was there what was the person's injuries she broke her arm I think he's good he's good he's he's no

problem like Caitlyn Jenner you know I think it's considered a it's like a felony though because it's because he he hit her he was probably under the influence or something he fleet uh fled the scene he didn't injure the woman and there's something else too if he can pay her off enough to to like get her on his side he'll be fine he'll get out of all this with some fines and some bullshit community service since i bet he's fighting in three or four years if they uh if he can get out of this jam. But is it even up to her? No, it's not up to her.

But I feel like that helps his case tremendously. It's not up to her, but I'll bet that it gets settled out of court. Yeah. It's a stack of money. Co-cabin is expensive. So what came down from the UFC on him exactly? They took the belt. They stripped him of his title.

And I don't think that they terminated his contract. I think they said that they're going to wait until they see what happens or whatever. He could be fighting next year. He could. He could fight anytime they want. It wouldn't be a good idea to terminate his contract. That would send him to some other organization. He doesn't want to fight for someone else though. He wants to fight for the UFC.

A lot of people... The numbers they're doing are good now, and all the champs are making a lot of money. A lot of people hate the UFC. They want them to pay the fighters more. They want more Reebok money, all that fun stuff. But as a fan, I love that almost all the top fighters are in the same place. I hated the Pride days when, you know, how does Chuck Liddell compare against those other people?

How does, no, I guess he did fight there a little bit. But, you know, you just want to see these matchups all the time. Yeah, Fedor, you know, like in hindsight, I guess they were right. Fedor was, you know, the king of the hill. But he was so much smaller than the UFC champs. I wondered. I wondered. I wondered how a prime Randy Couture would have ranked up against Fedor. I just want to know.

And here, with the exception of Ben Askren, you know. Yeah, I mean, it is nice that all the best guys are on the same spot. They're all under the same roof. Yeah, and the UFC, I mean, I was going to all the best guys are on the same spot. They're all under the same roof. Yeah. And the UFC, I mean, I was going to say Conor McGregor aside, but not anymore. They don't really protect their fighters. Like in the UFC, especially if you're a top guy, you have to fight other top people. It's super hard.

That's why there's so few undefeated guys. Yep. And I think that most people don't care either. Being undefeated is kind of cool, but people care about seeing exciting fights, I think, more so. Rather than seeing someone go undefeated. Obviously, Floyd Mayweather,

there's a lot of hype behind him whenever he fights, but most of his fights are really, really boring. You can appreciate it from a technical standpoint, but as far as an excitement standpoint, it's just not not there i'm just as excited by a win streak as i am an undefeated thing you know like yeah you know especially a win streak over names like you know like this guy beat then like jake shields had a win streak that in hindsight looks really good yeah um you know i look at john jones's too like go look at most other guys. He's beat who's who. Yeah, I could probably name him.

GSP is another one. That guy. I look back at Anderson Silva's reign and say, oh, yeah, there are some 205ers in there. There were some like Damian Maia who's down to 170 now. I just think Anderson Silva was amazing, but it wasn't the toughest period of 185

in UFC history or maybe it was I don't know but you look at GSP's reign and Jon Jones' reign and it's like holy smokes these guys were just he beat some really tough guys both of them he did

it's good though that UFC makes everyone fight. They're not protecting people like you said. They're going after people. I think you're always going to have some guys that are going to get not necessarily even protected as much as it's just given slightly favorable matchups.

Like Conor McGregor. Everyone kept saying how they were protecting him and keeping him away from wrestlers and this and that. And then they drew Mendes at him. Yeah, who's arguably the toughest guy for him to deal with. He just made him look stupid. That's – I thought it was a hard fight, but he did win in the second. It was definitely a hard fight, but, you know, the entire time,

I felt like, you know, as the clock ticks. He's on his back. Better and better and better. Huh. What was I going to say? Oh, I don't know why I thought it. Do you remember when I was at your house, we watched Anderson Silva lose the title? Yep.

Do you remember that I called every single fight that night? Yeah, you did, I think. Yeah, I did. I think it's the only time i've ever called uh a five event fight and i called wideman there's every every single fight that night there's there's some crazy thing where like for the last like i think it's happened like three or four times like the last like six months where if you bet all the undercard fighters like five dollars made you like three thousand dollars really yeah something so you basically

you bet a parlay for all the underdogs on the main card. And it's happened like a few times in the last like six months or something. And like I said, bet $5 to win like $3,800, close to $4,000. There was a night that I thought I had like a solid parlay. I was like, I really feel like I know who's going to win four or five of these fights. But they weren't underdogs enough. It was like if I bet $100, I could win like $190. I'm like, I don't know. That's just for that one fight.

You could do the parlay and it compounds. It was a parlay. And the payoff was really poor. Like a couple of them were favorites. You sure it wasn't all the favorites? Maybe that was all the favorites. It was like two or three favorites. Yeah.

But I thought if I parlayed it know it would really turn into something cool and it it makes me so happy when like i fight or something and i win and i get all kinds of hate tweets like oh you screwed up my parlay i won like six other fights or something i'm like that's right motherfucker you should have bet on me you know i i just make me happy when i was in college did i don't know how many nfl fans are out here but there was um it was the bills playing the cowboys and my girlfriend who's now my wife had like 300 in debt or something like that on her credit card and uh we had hardly any income that would have been a really tough thing to pay off, but we were at it or whatever.

And at the end of this game, this guy, I think his name was BB or something. He's running down. He's going to score one more touchdown for the Cowboys. Meaningless. Means nothing, right? And the Cowboys starts showboating, and he's holding the ball backwards, slowing down, because he's just trotting into the end zone but bb for the bills was just on his horse running running running running running to this guy it meant everything and uh to the cowboy it was like we're gonna win 54 to 7 now

or something stupid like that he called him smacked the ball out of his hand on like the three yard line and he had to these are the only two people in anywhere in this area. It was like a 90 yard drive, you know, catch or something. And he prevented it. Jackie won, you know, those like grid things where you choose the last two numbers of the score. Yeah. She won that and she paid off all her debt because this Buffalo Bill guy hustled.

Nice. Yeah. Nice. It was great. Betting. I encourage all of you to gamble out there. That's the new Twitch thing now. Everyone's betting on these casino sites and such.

That sounds fun. It would be really fun to play. It was really fun. I burned through $200 real quick. What were you playing? Blackjack. Oh, let's play some Texas Hold'em. It does have Hold'em. I don't know if there's a video Hold'em.

Don't worry, Woody. You won't be invited. We know you don't want to play. Played Civ. That was your idea, too. It was the chat's idea. The chat was like, Civ, Civ, Civ, a riot, Civ, a riot. I thought, alright. There's all these people. I'll make them happy it's just like in me yeah I'm

gonna play civ for the stream immediately the stream half the people leave because civ is boring as fuck right it goes from like 600 to 300 and then of the people that are still there they're not happy I'm not happy I don't know if you guys dealt with barbarians more effectively than me or if I had more barbarian problems or maybe was I think it was actually a combo of the two and I just felt like I was getting tortured and then Chiz plants his city as close to me as he possibly can Sends an archer around the back amasses an art or an army on my borders, and then he's like you attacked I was just chilling here!

So, in true stance... So, let me speak first. You can defend me. I put that city down. You weren't even uncovered. I don't know where your capital was. That was all clouds for me. And if I was just trying to steal your territory, I'd have bought up all those tiles.

Instead, I bought the tiles behind me and did what Kyle did on the left that just happened to not be as close to Woody's capital. I cut off you and Kyle from coming onto that continent. It was just me and Polynesia. I put troops there because as soon as Kyle pointed out, oh, Ford settled on you,

the first thing he said was, well, I'll deal with that later. Or something very along those lines, and you brought it up again. So I went, well, fuck, I don't want to lose my my pivot city right there I'm gonna put troops there and you said cause to the left So I'm eventually gonna go over there because you said go get him bitch. I'm like I will also I started building chariot arches right then put them on in Seville. They weren't on your borders They were in my capital and in Hill tiles there

They all had to move up to attack you because you had attacked my one archer that was rogue in the snow baron somewhere with your one spear which apparently was your only unit so i had no intentions of attacking if i was i wouldn't have let you kept your settler i wouldn't have when i did find your city was there i killed a barb and there was a barb worker there i said hey if you want it go ahead take it i know it was probably yours originally but you had no troops to take it and i didn't take it so i took it oh no i took it different then i was like i'm having this work i couldn't see it remember the map probably wasn't it wasn't covered for you but it was right there but all i did was that one place what was your let me so what so there's two things what i have a question for you that I think might help your game.

Not that you're going to play ever again. So here was your mistake, though. I didn't make any mistakes in that game. I won. I played the least amount. I destroyed both of you. You are willing to declare war and attack regardless of any of the factors other than the person has provoked you. So, for example, if there's a scout too close to your borders, if there's an archer too close to your borders, you're like, hey, fuck you.

These are my borders. I'll attack you. And you don't pay any mind to how much production you have at that time, where your science is, or what the army scores are versus each other. So you'll be like, fuck you, I'll smash my one unit into your one unit. Fuck off. But the way all of us, everyone's mindset when that happens is,

okay, now you've declared war. You've started an unending process now that can never end. It's much smoother for you to always try to like be like hey can we talk this out diplomacy diplomacy it's all about diplomacy and not just the the ai kind it's you know and it's not manipulation sometimes it's just like hey you you planted that city really close to mine here's a deal if you don't want to go to war don't you buy my banana tile there

that has to be mine and that's the only way that we can keep do this peacefully and hey that archer up there he needs to move along or there might be trouble are you ready like also i wanted to ask you in the beginning what was the first two things you built um i think i built a worker so i could chop trees and build a settler next okay Okay, so you should have built a scout, then another scout. Actually, I might have built a scout first. I don't know, I had a scout really early, but I didn't have two scouts. The idea was to get a worker that could chop trees and then improve the city and, as you know, chopping trees gives you more production so I could get that settler going.

It's all about finding the power band, though, you know, chopping trees gives you more production so I could get that settler going. It's all about finding... It's all about finding the power band, though. You know what I mean? Like, you can't do too much too early. You can't try to go straight up. You have to find the perfect trajectory to get ahead. So, like, going for that worker that early isn't that great of an idea.

You might want to do something like a greenery or a shrine. Here's the way I saw it. Here's how I played that game. I planted my city. The game started and I thought I was in a pretty good spot. So like first move, I planted my capital. I was happy with it. And then I was working towards planting and making my second city.

In the meantime, barbarians were after me. I killed so many. I don't even know how many barbarians I killed. There was like five right off the bat or something and I had to like build a bunch of warriors. There was any... there were five. See these are mistakes. These are mistakes. You never build a warrior. Warriors are kind of useless. How do you deal with barbarians? I mean last night you were saying the opposite. It was super easy last night. So here's why it was

easier for me to deal with the barbs than for you. Go on. Yeah, I'll keep it kind of short and sweet. The reason I build those two scouts, one, it's exploration. You get bonuses if you're the first person to discover things. If you're the first person to discover a city state that's a religious

city state, you get an instant pantheon. It's a huge bonus. It's a really cool thing so two scouts early also when you discover some ancient ruins you get uh upgrade your unit upgrades so immediately i got an archer like i had an archer uh five turns into the game or something like that like as soon as soon as i had my scout even faster yeah super fast i had i had aner early, and I had my other scout, and I built a spearman as soon as I had the technology. And with those units, if I'm going to build a worker or a settler, a non-military unit that cannot defend itself,

it's always going to have one of those other units parked directly on top of it so nobody can hit it. And as far as city defense, they send wave after wave of those barbarian warriors after you a lot of the time. And you just pick at them with your city defense and then hit them with your warrior or hit them with your spearman. You just can't go after them. You can't pursue ever.

You mean chasing down the units? Chasing down the warriors. I didn't do that. I didn't kill a single barb camp. I didn't either. I killed 10 do that. I didn't kill a single Barb camp. I killed 10 Barbs. Interesting. Okay, so what I did do is I took out the Barb camp because they were just sending Barb after Barb towards my city.

I had workers to protect. And it was like, ah, if I get rid of the source of this problem, then that'll be that. And I was so harassed by the Barbarians. And I'm pretty sure I was more harassed than you. I mean, there are points where there were like multiple barbarians coming after my cities at the same time and I don't know I wasn't you I don't know how harassed you were but I felt like the barbara sometimes I know sometimes it's bad I

know I got a general I got a great general early in the game and you guys are like what the fuck and I guess it really is getting harassed by barbarians at a level that we're not and um oh i know the reason why the barbarians were harassing you so bad you're not gonna like this so the barbarian camps spawn in undiscovered unviewed territories so because you didn't explore as much i think early with the scouts they were just thriving because if you don't have vision on the area then a barb camp can spawn there i think that may have had something to do with it because when early in my game i had the three units plus the

second city and then i made the third city and i could see pretty much everything the only place the barb camps could spawn was pretty far away from me at that point i kind of pushes them back so here's what i'm trying to say i was so harassed by barbarians in the first whatever 30 minutes of the game i felt far enough behind that i preferred losing quickly to losing over the next fucking nine hours of civ so when i attacked chiz it was a win-win scenario either i get to stop playing this god awful game or i beat chiz either one was with me. Well that's how it can go sometimes. I really love that game. How old is Civ? It's not a new game right? No it's from the early 90s. The current version is a couple years old. The current version is like less than a year old I I think. Well, beyond that.

Actually, the version we play is brand new because we play a modded version that's kind of unique. I really love Civ. I'd be up to play some Civ now at 1 in the morning. I'm down to uninstall it. Well, I wish you loved it as much as I do. I know. We got to get you in some other game. I don't know why you...

You don't find it rewarding at the end when you've put all that work into this thing and it comes to fruition? I feel like I'm building a killing machine for five hours and then at the end I get to hit something with it. That's what Civ feels like to me. No. My heart will be pounding. If I'm building Petra, and I know Chiz might be building Petra too, and I'm trying to sneak it into my

second city, and I know he's trying to build his capital, and even though I teched to it earlier, I know he's got more hammers, my heart's pounding! Like, I really want that Petra. It's a big deal to me. What is a Petra? It's a building you build in the game that only one civilization can have and it gives uh it gives you more production and more food

and desert tiles which is a great thing if you have a lot of them it's just it's just that's how the game goes it's you're always trying to build something that's exclusive that the other guy uh before the other guy can by getting more money more culture more civ is like it's basically an earlier version of like starcraft right no but so it's not well the difference is one is a turn-based strategy game and starcraft is real time oh it's turn-based yeah right it i like it turn-based because like we played with a patreon and uh so at a certain patreon level you can play games with us and we played civ and while he was a nice guy he took every second of every turn so again i mean you'd make i sometimes i didn't even have units that like i tell you what to do for the next three

turns so in one second i was done and for another two and a half minutes. I would just sit around doing nothing That's not that's it I'm not gonna nail him to a cross for doing that cuz one he was cuz he was new and everyone Everyone has those turns or several turns in a row Where they're the one taking up the entire yeah, yeah, you know if something big's going on He did he was working on a pantheon so that could have been one of those he was taking a lot of time regardless i don't fucking care i'm gonna defend him he was new at civ he took a lot of time uh he wasn't gonna win that game uh that game's still saved i think chis and i should pick it up sometime i don't know if he's interested in it in it but i feel like he and i are really neck and neck i thought you said you beat him i was said that because he's kyle and yeah that's

my score system we both have crossbows and we're both that's interesting i thought that because it was in kind of rough his shape after he and i had the war like at least score wise if that means anything no me and him are trading off scores he has he's once i repair those tiles i'll have new luxuries and a decent production i can't let you repair those tiles i've gotta start sending uh boats to crossbows okay enough of your fucking gold doubloon talk it's a well if you're out there you want to buy civilization 5 get every scrap of the DLC there is and then come play with us yeah that's your best that guy paid $500 come play with us but you can play for

free because we play like a you know once, twice a week and I just tweet out. Don't do it. Yeah, it's a, I mean. Number two game only to Call of Duty 4 of all time. I think you should trade off fence building time. By the way, we're not going to build a fence. We're going to get an invisible one. Ah.

Yeah, we're having a guy come out next week to give us a quote. Invisible fence. That'll be neat. Yeah, I think that'll be a way better solution. I don't know where we're going to put it exactly, but in my head. You have a big yard, though, right? It's a huge yard. Yeah.

An invisible fence doesn't work very well if the dog has any kind of momentum. That's why. If the dog runs, it'll run through the fence. And then it'll get shocked on the other side, and it'll want to come back. And every time it tries through the fence before it gets shocked. Then it'll get shocked on the other side and it'll want to come back and every time it tries to come back, it gets shocked. Yeah, we tried it once in Pennsylvania when we had labs and apparently labs are particularly, like me, invulnerable to electricity.

I'm told Great Danes will work better. Our vet thought it was a good idea, so we're going with it. My parents used to have one. It didn't work for any of our dogs. We had a box with goldens. The other problem is, like I say this at WoodyCraft, you can't just be against something. You have to be for

something else. If you have Great Danes, it's either an electric fence or an invisible fence or an eight-foot-tall solid wooden fence. Do that. That'll be awesome. No.

You can make a stone fence. A moat. It'd be like a prison. You can make a stone fence. Yeah, it'd be perfect for the zombie apocalypse. It literally does have to be. I think six-foot-tall would probably do it. Certainly a four-foot fence would just be entertaining to them.

Isn't Harley like six-foot-tall if she were to stand on her legs and stretch her arms? More than that. Yeah, certainly. She would do what the cows do and jump over that six foot fence and slide her belly over like that. At six foot, it would be a deterrent, I think,

but she might be able to clear it, especially if you're okay hitting your belly. How many meters are you going to do? We haven't decided yet. Specifically, Jackie hasn't decided. I'd like to do a big enough area that we're not cleaning poop all the time. To exaggerate, to make a point, if it was all 14 acres with three dogs,

I think you'd almost never have to clean. This is the south, right? Bugs and critters and whatever just handle that. But if you have a small backyard, then you'd have to go out there and get work done um so i'd like to fence in enough that you know at least a good deal of it just kind of nature takes care of it you can uh you can check in uh livestock fencing it's pretty easy to put down and it's cheap and it's awesome yeah there's a look though that we're

going for unless i'm missing it is livestock fencing involve wires and stuff? No. Livestock's like I have my dog pen. I don't know it off the top of my head. But you know, like horse fencing, which I think looks nice, typically doesn't really work. You can jump right over it. Or even walk right through it, you know, like in between it, the three rail fence.

Yeah, it's got like in between it the three rail fence yeah so oh i see some of these answers i don't know maybe that would work um like here is thinking of something in this family maybe i'll show everybody what we're looking at oh yeah we've seen this one before right yeah something like this might work but then we have to decide where it goes is it cut across the property i think so what my parents did is uh off off of the deck there's uh there's an area to go to for the dogs and it's like a like maybe like an eight foot wide or six foot wide like chute that goes all the way down and then the dogs come down and then the dogs

come down there. So the dogs run in there and they have like a huge ass area. It's kind of nice. Yeah, I don't know. I think about mowing too. Electric fence works nice for that. And golf carting like I don't know where you plan to put this fence but you're cutting out a lot of the fun real estate.

Yeah, electric fence though or I should say invisible fence. I should say invisible fence i love the invisible fence idea if jackie bought onto it let's give it a go it should be what if you got like four of them joe would that work if there were four invisible fences then with layer after layer layer after layer of intensity what if we get stuck between two layers shock non-stop i think a lot of it's the training too. You train the dog not to go through that area.

After a while, I'm told they don't even have to really wear the collar. I don't know. You guys want to call it a show? Yeah, I think so. That was a good one. I had fun. I think all of those topics were really good. That was fun. I want to thank our sponsors.

Squarespace. My new favorite drug of choice, I guess, the fucking Eagle Energy. It does not mess around. Check them out and really, really hit these things hard. Suck it hard. You heard it here.

I don't know if I can co-sign. He took a five, ten minute break after he had one of his heat episodes. I don't know where you went during that break. I imagine you dunked your face in water. No, I literally went upstairs and stood in front of where the AC vent is

and let it blow on me for a minute and got myself a beverage and had to cool off a little bit. I really did too much of that I think. I did about 120 doses if I had to cool off a little bit. I really did too much of that, I think. I did about 120 doses, if I had to guess. Yeah. And they recommend 10 to 20. Probably more than that.

I don't know what the time limit is. Yeah, I was practicing before the show. I've done hundreds of these tonight. So if you're wondering if they're safe for you, like literally. And the best part is when you've got 10 of them, I'm alive. You know, I mean alive you know i mean

you know yeah i don't think wings could survive this though i think it's like if like wings puffed on these things like this i literally think he might die i owe him a response on my sky because my heart is just racing i don't know if this could handle this this is just i love it. Wow. 20 doses. 30 doses. I mean, he's taking a lot of hits. 40 doses. He's going to get sweaty.

50 doses. Five more. 60. 70, 80. I think he's kind of taking half doses. Those don't count. Those don't count. That's 80.

He swallowed half of that. 20 more. That's 80. 20 more doses. 20 more. All doses. 20 more. All right. 20 more. That was 40 more.

Come on, champ. You can do it. I don't think I should. 10 more. 10 more rounds. I think I can see him start to sweat. I think I'm all done now. So yeah, don't be worried about overdosing or anything, because I don't think that's possible.

I really, I'm not kidding. I can feel the effect of this. I can feel, it's, it's, I got like a buzz going. It's like someone texted Kitty. I feel like I've had a beer, like I feel like I've drank a beer. I feel like I've drank one beer and that beer happened to be made of pure caffeine. It feels like a pot of coffee and I'm a little tipsy, I feel like.

Yeah, definitely I'm sweaty and hot. You just deprived your brain from oxygen. So maybe you want to stick to just one of these motherfuckers and just puff on that until you get where you want to be. Maybe 10 was excessive. Unless you're on the go who knows but for the pros step it up to 10 i really appreciate them sending me this like storefront package of like that's great yeah inhale your energy yeah wow it says guarana extract increases energy levels memory memory, mood, and reaction times.

I wish I had somebody to throw a tennis ball at me real hard right now. You need to puff on these before shark attack. Oh, absolutely. Taurine, which enhances my endurance and reduces my stress levels. And ginseng, which is going to stimulate me physically and mentally. All right. I like it. You're a goddamn superhero.

All right. PKA episode 41 thanks joe 241 that's my favorite