Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #252

Episode Date: October 23, 2015

This week on PKA, Shane from fightTIPS joins the crew and they talk about his stories as a competitive fighter in Thailand, Taylor shares some more interesting stories and what's the deal with third world prostitutes?

Hey, we're live. I don't know if I've been recording for the last five seconds, but we're live. Welcome to Painkiller Already, episode 252, with our ever-professional starts. Kyle, take it away. This episode is being brought to you by 100% Food, a nutritionally complete smoothie in a bottle. Just add water, shake, and enjoy. 100% Food is probably the best way to start the day. And, of course, my favorite sponsor, MeUndies.com. the day. And, of course, my favorite sponsor, MeUndies.com. We want to let everyone know they're co-sponsoring this episode,

and they are changing up the underwear game like no one else. We'll talk about both of those sponsors more later in the show, but first things first, I'm sure Woody, you have somewhere you'd like to steer us. On the spot. I have um, you know my first topic's not funny.

I think first of all we should say hello to shane oh yeah let's do that coming on let's do that sorry it's not you that we forgot it very regular that we just jump in and the person sits there for like half an hour like am i supposed to pipe in or do i get like a 20 minute segment here or what do i do and i usually say this before the show starts I get like a 20 minute segment here or what do I do? And I usually say this before the show starts, but allow me to embarrass you in public. Well,

usually the best guests just insert themselves in and you know, don't be shy. Be rude. Hey everybody. My name is Shane Faison. I run a self-defense channel. Sort of like that. You're doing great.

Fantastic. Lots of interrupting. Lots of interrupting. Every opportunity you get. Yeah. So you run a self-defense channel. Yes. What are your qualifications to teach us how to defend ourselves? I am a golden glove boxer. I fought in Thailand in professional Muay Thai.

I did Muay Thai from 15 to 20. So about five years of Muay Thai, black belt in Taekwondo, and then just street self-defense. Taught at a UFC gym for a little bit, but you know. Have you experienced with street self-defense? Have you been assaulted or attacked where you had to fend them off? I fought a lot when I was a kid.

I'm proud. It's an accomplishment to be able to say that I haven't fought in probably four years in the street. I really pride myself on the fact that there are being able to. That's not a major accomplishment. I bet most people. Like what's your streak for not fighting in the streets, Taylor? Oh, I've never fought in the streets.

No, it's different. If you're good at fighting, it's an actual temptation. I know I'm always getting pulled back to those streets. I'm feeling the pull, right? It's just calling to me. Get out there. Fuck somebody up, Kyle. streets. I'm feeling the pull, right? It's just calling to me. Get out there. Fuck somebody up, Kyle. Go back to your old ways.

You know, but I fight it off, just like the cocaine dick. Well, I think I was right. I mean, I'm hitting the heavy bag, like, every day for an hour and teaching other people and watching videos all the time. So when someone gets in my face, and that has happened as recent as a month and a half ago someone got in my face like my first reaction is to throw a punch you know or something like that but it's it takes more energy more effort to not what punch would you throw if you were going to just sucker punch knock this guy unconscious who was in your face and you thought was gonna you know probably escalate things he's a drunk guy at a bar he's bigger than you want to

what's the first punch you throw if his hands are, like I really always say like don't throw a punch to throw a punch. Look for what's open and then figure out what angle punch gets their best. So this side of his face. Come on. Come on, bro. Right here. Right here. I would say my best punch is the left hook, even though I'm right-handed,

but like just that I'm so used to throwing that torque from that stance. Do you feel like a three stoooges-style eye poke? Right, there's always that. Step on the foot and poke him in the eye. But then there's this defense. Exactly. You never know what you're dealing with a fucking slapstick master. There's always a counter.

But then you got that. Oh, a counter to the counter. You got to do one of these. Are you going to put that resisting fighting on your resume? I graduated from here in 2013. Haven't fought anyone in almost five years. I also haven't stolen a car much. Do you ever fantasize about it?

Do you ever fantasize about it in totally inappropriate situations? Like, you know what? You know, here I am at Target, and I think I can beat everyone else at this cash register. No, honestly, I don't. I'm not proud of it, but I'll admit it. Like, I size people up no matter where I'm at as soon as I walk in. I'll be on the bus and I'll be like Yeah, I could I could take everyone on here. Yeah, I gotta be careful with bus people. They're unpredictable

There's so many so many street fight videos that happen on the bus bus folk are a hardy lot Rest of us, you know, they're traveling around the country getting getting into scrapes here and there You never know what they might have picked up from state to state. They're like traveling Kung Fu masters. That's what Kane was. If, you know, Kane from Kung Fu, if he had existed in modern times, he'd have been a bus man. That's true. Why would he walk everywhere? It's very true.

And Chiz isn't even here to defend his comrades. Oh, I like it better when Chiz isn't here. Chiz is a bus person, whether we like it to admit it or not he's just our bus person he's bus people so shiz is i guess you could call him the producer of this show he's like the agent and uh he finds our sponsors and it helps a lot behind the scenes and sometimes comes on camera uh much and there's there's a vocal minority that fusses at him but i have a solution for that can i can i throw this at you because i listen to the howard stern show all the time and go on and i i'm not

into copying someone else's shtick or their whole formula or anything like that but one thing that i see done you know across radio programs is they've got a guy who's not a host he's not in every conversation he's just in the background and he might even be a google fact checker if there was just someone i feel like if i feel like if chis were on these calls and he was in the background and every time we have one of those sitzley arguments about the circumference of the earth or what the gravity is like if you're near the core or whether the core of the earth is molten lead or solid lead he could be back there and be like actually it's solid lead and like i feel like that would be cool for the flow of the show.

I'd like him at that. I would love... Imagine if PKA Facts became reliable. That'd be a whole new thing, right? I'd be like, Bernie Sanders wants a 95% tax rate. And he'd be like, actually, he said he was okay with 90. Not enthusiastic about 95. And then, just to get... Bernie Sanders...

Internet people, which is our crowd, and Bernie Sanders, they're the same people. And he later said that he didn't propose a 90% tax rate. He actually hasn't come up with his tax plan other than it should be progressive and fuck the top 1%. That's paraphrasing right there. Did he win that debate? Did you watch any of it? I watched...

Kyle and I did PKN during the first half hour. Kyle went back and watched a YouTube video and caught the first hour. I caught whatever... What is it? Two hours long? I caught the last hour and a half. So I missed the first half hour. But I feel like I watched it it i feel like he

was he performed very strongly and while hillary like had the same confidence and flow that she's had for the last several decades on stage like she's a polished performer she had all that but i feel like it was the same old bullshit and when she got asked tough questions and there were a lot of tough questions uh who's the gay guy from CNN who's the gray hair? Anderson Cooper. Anderson Cooper. He was great. He was really good, and he didn't make it like a bullshit.

So he said, she said, kind of like, let's get the candidates to fight. He asked him directly on topics, and when they tried to dance around the corner, he was like, well, in all fairness, I'm sorry, Mrs. Clinton, but you didn't answer the question. What I asked was blah, blah, blah, blah blah blah blah and he would kind of keep them on

their toes so i like that a lot but i don't think i think sanders won it honestly i was very disinterested in that tall skinny guy i was entertained i'll just say that by the ex-marine guy like who looks like a south park character i think j think Jim Webb hasn't recognized that he's moved up a shirt size. Somebody needs to tell his they need to let him know he's moved up four neck size. Like yeah, I think

he's got a George Costanza like bulbous melon with this huge fat rolly neck. You know when you see guys getting heavier and heavier, but it's all in their gut so so they can, perhaps they're testing the tensile strength of the button, but they just lower their pants by a couple inches, show their butt crack, and let

the gut hang over the top and front. That way they get to sort of stay with their old size. I think maybe he's doing that with his shirt size. Like, he's testing the tensile strength of just what kind, like, how much, like, the shirt is straining to hold in that massive fucking, like, thigh that connects his head to his chest. You couldn't choke this guy out.

There's no way. You couldn't choke him out if you wanted to. I'm sorry, Shane. You're going to have to triangle that fucking neck because yours aren't long enough. Yeah, that's, but I got say i guess sanders won i felt like he was always uh he stayed with the issues like we thought he thought he would he didn't get into a bunch of bullshit uh i thought he probably scored some of those um you know uh zinger points whenever instead of going after hillary he defended her on the emails he's like i think we've heard enough about your damn emails that's huge that's the line

of the headlines I'm hearing that his initial statements you know when they even they each candidate introduced themselves and unlike the Republican debate which which was really quick they had like 20 30 seconds to introduce themselves at this debate is they had two minutes so you really got to lay out your platform and his two minutes is going pretty viral on facebook i saw so i i guess he's the winner everyone's saying he is except for cnn um but you know we're back to the same sticking point it looks like in that that uh crowder video we watched earlier it's like well how do you pay for it though like everything you say sounds great and i think you believe it and you seem like such a nice kind old man but

where does that 18 trillion come from where and we watched the video and just paraphrasing the video they said what 600 million a year from a military if we just got rid of military multiply that by 10 we're at 6 trillion and if you tax if you tax every bit of the income for like the first top 5% I think you get like another 600 billion a year or something. Trillion. Yeah. Over 10 years, $6 trillion.

So the $18 trillion is over the course of 10 years. So if you cut the military entirely, according to this YouTube video, and it's right there on the internet, so it's definitely accurate and fact-checked. Fact-checked. $6 trillion could be saved by cutting the military down to zero. $6 trillion could be saved by taxing the 1% or 5%.

I'm not sure. Now, keep in mind, it's either the top one or five, but I think it's five. And the top 5% were people who were making... And it's at 100%. 100%. You take all their money. And you expect them to keep working and producing. So you really do need that military still there to

hold a gun to their head so i don't know how you pay for that and that was 12 12 trillion added together right six each two-thirds of the way there yeah we're two-thirds of the way there and now i just we just need to step up the taxes on the rest of the people and according to his uh fuzzy math we'll call it that he they would just save about $5 trillion over the course of 10 years through the streamlining of all the other social programs. That he would just do it so much better, it sounds like, that he'd just save you $5 trillion out of nowhere. And there's an argument to be made for the single payer system. Like, I don't know how... Here's the deal. I pay, I forget, I pay something like $1,600 a month on health insurance, right?

You know, I'm self-employed. I pay for it all by myself, etc. If you told me like, all right, Woody, now we're going to have government health insurance. My question, I wouldn't really be pissed off that I'm paying the government for my health insurance. I just want to know how much. If they said, hey, same doctor, same plan. Basically, we're not changing anything here, but now it's single payer.

So you pay the government and the government pays the doctors. I'd just be like, all right, is that more or less? So when he shifts to a single player plan, it is noteworthy that you do get to stop paying for health insurance. Well, you're still paying for it. I'm sorry. You stop paying a private company for your health insurance, and it comes in taxes, right? That's the idea, that we'd have government health care like Canada and the UK do,

but they pay for it in taxes. I still pay for it. I just pay some insurance company. Who do you use? You know, I get confused by it. It's like Blue Cross Blue Shield or something. I think that's who it is, but isn't Shield or something. I think that's who it is. But isn't there like...

I think that's who I am. I could check out my bill pay. That's who you're covered by. But I feel like... I don't think that's the insurance company. If that makes any sense. Right? I feel like you would pay Cobra

and they would give you insurance through Blue Cross Blue Shield so Cobra is a plan that allows you to keep your insurance through previous employers that's after you get let go or you quit a job they have to provide insurance for like 8 months or something right? they have to provide access

to their insurance program right? so like after you, for example when I left Cisco I think I liked the plan I was with at Cisco I think I liked the plan I was with at Cisco so for the next 18 months I just played what I used to plus the employer portion and stayed on their roles I I really need to beef up my my health insurance I feel like I was we're about to go do some stuff with some people and one of the guys I was talking to is they call him mr.. Explosives. And he destroys things for the U.S. government.

He does research and development, and they'll send him stuff that they want destroyed. And one of the items he has in his little collection that he's planning on destroying is the ejector seat out of a goddamn fighter jet. All right? What a sweet gig. And to think Bernie Sanders would take all that military money away no more mr explosives right so i'm talking to him and i'm like what if we put me in that fucking ejector seat and we mounted it at like a 45 degree angle and aimed me out over a lake

i'm like what's the trajectory like and he's like first of all bro you're gonna be pushing like six seven g's i'm like done no problem i got that that means i won't even have to be awake for the landing and he's like second of all you're going about 500 feet up in the air and this isn't just a few rockets this is a whole rocket system you got primary rockets and secondaries and they burn at different rates and then some take over at the like after burners or something and then you come down on a parachute i I was like, okay, you got me. And there could be spinal injuries, and I'm like, spinal injuries? You had me up, even through unconscious and six or seven Gs, you had me on board, but he's like, spinal injuries,

that sounds kind of like spinal compression or something that you could get, but I was totally up for that until then. That sounded like so much fun. That would be the dumbest way to get spinal injuries and have to roll out into the next FPS Russia video. Hello, I am Kyle. Not Russian. Oh, I've had that for years.

I've always said that, all right, so if I break an arm or a leg, instantly we make a cast gun, right? The next episode is the cast gun, to make a laugh at that. If I have to be in a wheelchair we mount guns to the wheelchair whatever you know there are backup plans for these scenarios in which i'm injured in some way okay like like i have video ideas based around a crippled version of me don't worry i just for a minute ago i checked out who i pay you were right the checks to and it said blue cross blue shield of of North Carolina. So it seems to me.

In fact, see if Chiz had been here. You're assuming he has access to my bank, which is an issue. Do you have any contingency plans for other injuries, like amputations, things like that? Machine gun. Leg for a machine gun, right? Leg for the machine gun doesn't work that well, because I feel like you're always cramming the barrel full of dirt. Full of dirt.

Full of gravel. Plus, it's not really easy to point. Like, leg for, or I'm sorry, machine gun for a forearm, that makes perfect sense. But what, are you going to sit down and shoot somebody? This just seems, you know, you got to get off the X. Yeah, I think if I lose a leg, then I just want a real good artificial leg to continue being bipedal and all. artificial leg to continue being bipedal and all. But maybe if you lose, like, the left arm or something,

then I could see, like, putting something else on there, like having multiple attachments or something. That'd be cool. I'd like that. I don't think you'd like it, but it would make it less unbearable. It would almost make it worth it. Would you give up your left eye if it became a laser eye and it's but but now you saw like now every time you look Through the eye it's like only the color red, but it's a laser eye with like a power of let's say a

Thousand watts a thousand watts is fucking a thousand watts that it isn't that what your laser was One watt ah okay, so a thousand yeah Million milliwatt anytime my eyes open it just shoots a beam no no it's completely conscious like you look at something One watt. Ah, okay, so a thousand, yeah, yeah, yeah. A million milliwatts. Any time my eyes open, it just shoots a beam at me? No, no, it's completely conscious. Like, you look at something, and completely conscious, just like snapping your finger, you can direct the laser beam wherever you want. Now, if I shot a thousand watts at somebody, would they be like, like they touched a stove, or would it really end your life? Alright, so I'm no expert here, but based on what one watt of laser power does, I can only imagine that if you glanced at somebody with one... with that much power,

Uh-huh? it would like burn them severely and ignite them on fire almost. I feel like it'd be an instant- Say no more, I'm in. And I feel like a constant stream would kill a person. I really believe that. Shane, I have a plan. I think I can fuck you up at this point, Shane.

I was just saying. I was thinking, who needs self-defense when you got that? Yeah. Talk about sizing up the line at Walmart. You got everybody with you. Laser eye. No, that's too risky. What if I have a big sneeze on an airplane and take the whole thing down?

Every time you come, it shoots. You're like, that's the fifth girlfriend this year. Why don't you ever look at me during? Because your face is in the pillow. You know what? I would do it for not a thousand watts. I'd want like a hundred thousand watts. I don't want it to be like if I keep them right

in my line of sight for three minutes, they can start to singe. I want it to sing like boom just immediately vapor I want to do other stuff too late well then it'll go through your target and then through the wall and then the next our neighbors knows you're right about that but people are liquid targets I feel like that take a while I want to be able to take out tree stumps and start campfires this sounds it was fully cognizant that you could choose it. That Cyclops guy has the worst ability ever.

Yeah. Maybe we need more power. So this laser. How was he born? Yeah, we're just tearing that up. It developed later in life. But I think this is a thousand watt laser. I sometimes look at my own nose.

I think I'd have a whole different profile if I had laser eyes. Just cut out one side of it. So, I see that this is like, this guy's cleaning engine parts with a thousand watt laser and it seems to strip everything off of metal. I clean my opponents.

Should we watch it together? Alright Shane, this is how we do this. You click on the link and you pause it at zero. We call that queuing it up. I, slowly but surely, transfer over so we can all see. And then I'll say ready, set, play in a moment. I'm still waiting on the OBS. There we go.

All right, ready, set, play. Oh, this thing looks cool. Why don't I have one of these? Not strong enough. It needs to be stronger. Oh, look at that. Wow. I will say, that thing's like an inch wide.

If it was more concentrated... Now, with your eye, you'll be able to control that. You'll be able to control that you'll be able to do a wide band and clean the sidewalk or a narrow band and pierce a hole through your through your opponent's heart at range what if you did that if you just put like a a tiny hole through his heart from long range and then just walked away you could just roast someone alive and 16 by 9 just like that you be a really distinctive wound they're like this is fucking Kyle again I know it it's the

laser burning killer it's weird there's only one gun channel left on YouTube what is this Kyle that you're linking now this is a homemade this is something that you could do well I know this guy well I don't know him but I watched his videos before well he makes good videos and he makes one hell of a laser shotgun here do you want to watch it for two minutes um let's get let's start it at like 35 seconds. I think that'll get us right into the fun part of the video. Alright, I'm queued up at 35.

So this is only 40 watts. Oh my god, please tell me he kills this butterfly with his laser shotgun. I hope not. At 35 seconds there's a butterfly on there. Alright, are we all ready at 35? Yep. Ready, set, play. Holy shit.

I like his attitude. here's some paper with the close-range lens alright i can see if this is 40 than a thousand maybe has met also is cool that's that's pretty impressive like it and men 11 he's like igniting the whatever that is. Yeah.

Here's some black powder. Your video's playing through your speakers. A ping pong ball? Me? Someone. Mine's muted. Oh, I apologize. I have two videos playing simultaneously.

Ah. Made things sound weird. Throwing some stones in that glass house. Some flash paper? but yeah that's pretty neat I don't know if it's only that strong it would be worth it would have to be no yeah setting Lee powerful sacrifice an eye for much like ludicrously powerful like ten thousand watts a million okay so what do you want to accomplish with your laser eye I want to be able to rob banks, kill people from miles away.

Miles? Miles. Can I make you an offer, Taylor? How would you like a variable power laser eye? See, that would be good. Like I could make it so I could light a candle from across the room, or next time the Blackhawks win the Stanley Cup, I just glare at Chicago from here.

But your cataracts might hurt your laser at that point. Yeah. I would like that a lot. I think I would definitely trade my left eye for... Wait, you said the Black Hawks win again, right? Yeah, if they win again, I'll just glare at Chicago for a couple hours.

I understand. I translated it into when St. Louis wins. And that's where the cataract thing came in. Like you would be. Just their arena. I like that. I'm not going to kill a bunch of innocents, you know? I mean, Chicago.

Come on. Yeah, there's nobody innocent there. Let's burn it off. Did anybody see the new Fallout teaser trailer? It's a minute long. It's live action, but it's been digitized in some cool way. I was just about to compliment the graphics. That's certainly not

the game. It's beautiful. It's live action with some sort of an effect overlaid. They made it look like a 2025 video game or something. Can I be honest? It was a poor trailer. They did a bad job.

They had the right idea, but it was bad. It was bad. They did a bad job at it. It looked a little boring to me. So, in terms of, like, I was interested in it only because I'm interested in Fallout 4, and I think if you're predisposed to liking everything Fallout 4, you might disagree with Kyle

there. But, if you compare it to other great trailers like what Destiny did or what Halo's done Halo Gears of War um even Call of Duty sometimes some years it's pretty good but Halo and Gears are to me the strongest uh trailers but the previous Fallout games were good uh Fallout isn't known for like blockbuster trailers but this time around they're definitely we're aiming for it i feel like at least a little to like get their crowd going and let the public know about this new game that's coming out because it's been so long between releases but the problem was it it

wasn't heavy hitting enough at all i felt like that scene where he uh he comes upon the like three super mutants and his dog takes that off after one he starts shooting at the super mutant with a carbine why didn't he hit it with a fucking nuke? That would have been a great time to have a rapid fire segment of the heavy weaponry. I liked that they tried to get some comedic thing in there where he no look shoots the radroach. That was kind of funny, but

I feel like they missed their mark. And the wasteland that they were showing didn't even look like the Boston wasteland that's going to be in the game. So, I didn't like the trailer, but I'm really excited about the game. Hmm. Did you guys read the total biscuit tweet longer? Yeah,

I did. Yeah. He's God. Is it, did you say he's gone? No, he's got, I was like,

that is the least sensitive thing I've heard so far today. And I travel in some pretty fucked up circles. Um, he's got something with his liver right like spots in his liver or some kind of cancer yeah i think i have the twit longer here so i'm gonna read it well i don't know if there's really a white right way to tell people this so i guess here it goes the The CT did not come back negative. The cancer in the bowel is gone but spots have appeared in my liver. They're not operable and there is no cure. Average life expectancy is two to three years though there have been outliers that live much longer. I'll be back on chemo in a few weeks with the goal of pushing it back and keeping

it there for as long as possible. I fully intend to be the outlier. The average is this way because most people that get this are old and not strong anymore. Who knows what they'll come up with in the next decade. I intend to beat it for as long as possible. Gonna need some time to process all this. I don't really feel anything right now. Thanks. I didn't know that he already had cancer at one point. Yeah, it's been an ongoing thing.

I don't follow his channel or him at all, but I see the articles on Reddit, and clearly he's beloved by a big audience or they wouldn't always be so prominent. So it's a real shame. He, well, it doesn't seem the right way to phrase it anymore, but he beat cancer. You know, he had this bowel cancer, and the thought was that it was gone and that he was clear. And I know a tiny bit about this because my brother had cancer twice. And my brother's still alive, by the way.

Anyway, after you get cancer, they just kind of regularly check you for it a lot for the next five or 10 years. It's a thing that they just look for because cancer comes back sometimes. Like it's a thing that they just, they just look for it because cancer comes back sometimes. And, um, he went in there to get his CT scan and with the vibe that, you know, this was a part of his life that was in his past, not in his future. And, um, I hope I have this all right. And, uh, it came back positive. Yeah.

It's a real shame, but like he said in his tweet, it seems like there are breakthroughs all the time. So let's think positively for him and hopefully it all works out. Who knows, maybe they cure cancer next year. Or if not, some miraculous cancer cure that's wide sweeping. Maybe the specific kind he has.

I wonder if a transplant is out of the order. Is that a thing that's just not on the table at all? He mentioned not operable. I don't know of any bowel transplants. Yeah, but cut the whole liver out. Bowel. Well, his bowel was clear. Oh, I have it wrong.

I have it wrong. I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm certainly not an oncologist or a fucking surgeon, but I know that, like Taylor said, if I give him a slice of my liver, not saying Iologist or a fucking surgeon but i know that like like taylor said like if i give him a slice of my liver not saying i will or anything um you know it would regrow into a full liver eventually that's how liver trans plants work unlike like a kidney transplant or something but i wonder if that's out of the question for what he has i don't know yeah that's pretty good that sucks to have a. A friend of mine just got a liver transplant.

That's pretty young for a... It's their year age. Yeah, five years older. That's still... That's pretty young. That's rough. Well, hopefully they're okay. Do you have a history of anything that's scary that worries you? Family history of medical problems.

Herpes is everywhere in everybody's family, so that's not really selective. Yeah, you're not. Pancreatic cancer is around, and that's one that, like, do not pass go. Do not collect $200. You're like, oh, you have pancreatic cancer uh you got till thursday like there's i've heard that stomach cancer apparently is really painful uh that's one of the worst ones to get so my grandmother on my on my debt on my dad's side she died of cancer my uncle on my dad's side he died of cancer. My dad has had, what do you call it, melanoma?

Like when it's... Skin cancer. Yeah, he's had one of those removed. My mom had a couple of benign tumors that she had removed. My grandfather, the husband of the woman, of the grandmother who died of cancer, he died of cirrhosis of the liver at 35. The other grandparents, these are my mom's parents, she died of cancer. And her father, my grandfather on that side, also cancer.

It's a good thing you quit smoking. Well, I mean, statistically, someone in your family has to not get cancer right that would be crazy if you all got cancer so your sister had a baby so probably not right half sister right there had to be some people in your family who hasn't had it yet i hope it's him and not you you know actually i think her i think maybe she had cancer, too. I think they all had. I should probably go get checked up. Yeah, so there's that. And also diabetes on both sides.

Let's see what is heart disease. Of course, everybody's got that. What was the other one? It was something bad, I thought, that my grandmothers both had. Yeah, it's not looking good. Syphilis. They're old.

Yeah, syphilis. That was it. I had a leper uncle Steve the leper we didn't invite him around much let's see what Don't come over for Christmas this year, you Riley son of a bitch. Ears are falling off of the shoe. You bring your own silverware, goddammit. Get your rotting, flesh-dripping hand out of the fucking potatoes. Oh, he's trying to grab a turkey leg. I'll be right there. His skin sloughs off as easy as the meat on the turkey. Gentlemen, I need to step away.

Apparently, there is a toilet-based. Gentlemen, I need to step away. Apparently there is a toilet based emergency downstairs that I need to... Well, we look forward to the story. Bring a camera. I'll be right back. So, have you ever had any... Let's talk about this. Toilet based emergency. Have you ever had a toilet

overflow on you a la Dumb and Dumber or something and just make a real shitty, awful mess? Whether the scenario was embarrassing or not, let's hear about that. I want to know, have you done this before? Yes, I've done this. This is like one of those scenarios

that you don't think about ever because when even the thought of it pops in your head, you just... It's bad. I just try and not think about it. You cringe and wish that weren't you you were remembering. ever because like when even the thought of it pops in your head you just ah you cringe and wish that weren't you you were remembering that was somebody else that was a past life right I didn't do that no I was okay it was like the perfect storm of awful it was I was at my girlfriend in high school's house

after school and their parents house parents house yeah okay and we were hanging out there and i every thursday we got kidoba in the morning that's like this is friday and i had been blocked up all day like i hadn't shit since the previous burrito and so i go in go to the bathroom i was gonna go up in the upstairs one where it was a bit safer but she was in there and was like oh you just go downstairs the one in the right by the entranceway to the house that bathroom and i was just like all right well i hop in there take just a foul abomination of a shit and just go to flush it and have now let me ask you this about the shit was it one of those that as

horrible as it is it's over in like seven seconds flat oh it was it was a it was a speed run you know one of those where you like you have to sit quickly so you don't just shit everywhere like you have to you're like shuffling down you have to sit it comes out so quickly and so much force that like there are waves splashing the ball but uh so i go in there and take the shit and i feel so much better immediately uh flush about to leave and i see i see that scary look that that tepid filth water moving a little closer to the top oh it probably just takes a bit some toilets raised higher it keeps coming keeps coming it gets to the point where, like, I'm, like, willing

it. It's like, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. And it gets to, like, right on the rim of the bowl, just soupy shit water. And like an idiot, instead of just plunging it and trying to get it under control, I go, let's not give it a go. We've been talking

since the time we were four. You flush to get the poop to go away. And you not give it a go. We've been talking since the time we were four. You flush to get the poop to go away, and you just do it without thinking. Did it without thinking. Immediately realized the error of my ways as it just cascades down the side all over the place. Like three minutes later after this, and I'm like, hey, hey. Like yelling at her. Their whole foyer is covered in shit. Mom gets home, and she walks in through the front door.

And like, of course, I was right by there. And she was like, oh, Jesus. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And I'm just standing there beet red because I just pooped the foyer. Oh, God. It was like even thinking about it now,'m cringing so hard all right so so this is a very there's something about mary type scenario what happened with you and this girl

post you shitting in her house uh i mean it wasn't like a huge freak out like i think she was just as embarrassing i was almost where she was like oh god this guy's shitting all over my house parents already like him but uh yeah obviously it didn't end up working out quite a while later but I don't think it was shit related what did I walk into that is hilarious

so I was asking the guys if they've ever had that scenario where a toilet overflows on you and poop goes everywhere and especially if it's been an embarrassing scenario and taylor had a great one he did this at a friend's house and had a real shit explosion across their foyer and the mother came home and discovered so great story my face is hot from just having relived that in my head just like oh my god. Nice! I feel like people aren't considered... If someone asks you to use their bathroom,

I always consider he might have to take a disgusting shit. I should make sure he gets to the bathroom away from everyone or something like that. That's always in my head. But I think I'm in the vast minority. I remember one time I was hanging out with an ex-girlfriend and her friend.

There's like three girls and me. And I'm like, hey, can I use the bathroom? And I have to take a horrible shit. My farts are so obnoxious that I know the quality of shit that's going to come. Hot! Hot! They burn! They burn!

This is going to be a rough one. Like I said, this isn't going to be a prolonged, straining, constipated poop. No, this is gonna be a rough one. But like I said, this isn't gonna be a prolonged, straining, constipated poop. No, this is gonna be And then like, and the trick is this. You got to flush as soon as the shit starts coming out. That way it's not even staying in the room. It's just going straight in and into the pipe. You're not, you don't want a big pile of shit to be in the house, which is essentially what a toilet is. You want the flush during the shit. But still,

stunk up the whole room and I'm sure... And so then, later I asked to go to the bathroom again and I got a piss and I could tell that her friend didn't want me to use her toilet because she thinks I'm going to shit all over her bathroom and stink it all up. It's embarrassing.

The trick is to turn the fan on before you start. Oh, this fan didn't stand a chance. If you had one of those fucking squirrel fans they use in woodworking to vacuum the shop out, it wouldn't have been good enough. It's like taking a super sugar to a forest farm. You got to turn the fan on right away, create a low-pressure vacuum inside the bathroom

so that there is air just constantly pulling because at first it's just creating the vacuum it's just having an impact on the air next to the fan you give it a little time you get a nice flow coming from under the door out the room it depends on the how old are you guys uh 29 42 24 how old are you? 25. 25. Most of you guys got a lot more pooping experience. I'm learning a lot listening to you guys. Well, you eat way too healthy. You know, you got to eat what we eat.

Just on camera. I really don't. You don't want your poop coming out in one big piece. That's like being raped from the inside. I don't want any part of that. Jesus Christ. It should be watery. It should happen within five seconds later I'm still pooping,

there's something wrong. Like, what happened? PKA medical advice, gentlemen. Yeah, you want your poop to be watery and to be explosive. If you can... Oh, no. Did we lose Shane?

Uh-oh. I actually have a similar story to Taylor's, too, except... You don't got me? Yeah, we got you. Your video's frozen, but we hear you fine. Yeah, yeah. There it is. Okay. No, I had a very similar story to Taylor's, except the poop did go down. It did flush.

However, when I was... I was sick at the time, right? I was sick at the time, so I was throwing up while shitting. And you know, like, when you have diarrhea, it's like wet and farts and really loud and it was an ex-girlfriend's house and it was the same setup like the kitchen was right next to the bathroom right next to the living room but the door was one of those like closet doors with slits in it like angled slits have you ever it's a terrible decision i know i know and i remember thinking that too i'm like only girls do that only girls do that because they don't take explosive horrible shit So they can't even relate they have no I'm seeing what it's like seeing that for the first time I was like this is gonna haunt me someday

But I Like she was cool about I was like did you did you hear anything? She's like what do you mean? But I know she there was no way like what do you mean but i know she there was no way you asked you ran some neighbor neighbor down the street like that shit uh dude i i had that i was sick this summer i forget when it was but i was sick this summer and i hadn't been sick in a long time like it you know they're sick where you like have the sniffles or maybe just don't feel a hundred percent but i can't remember like laying on the tile floor of my bathroom just thanking God that it is so cool.

That's how sick I was. Like, oh, my cheek feels so nice on the tile floor. And at one point, like you mentioned, I was pooping and throwing up at the same time. And I had a decision to make. Like, one of them wasn't going in the toilet. I'm fucked at this point uh i did not have a bucket available but into the bath that's that yeah that i had i

was like i thought i was brilliant but apparently i'm commonplace i i vomited thankfully not really chunky into the bathtub while pooping into the toilet. And then I just ran the shower, flushed the toilet, and all was good. I appreciate it. Let's just get in the bathtub and let it all out. Oh, my God. Or maybe if you, like, lifted the seat all the way up and mounted it in reverse, you could do both simultaneously. Well, I guess, like, a smaller, like, a less endowed man

could probably pull that off. But for me, it's like a pair of coconuts with a pool noodle. And there's just really no throwing up in front of that. And that also like, that's something that in your head at the time, you're like, oh, look at this brilliant Nobel Prize winning idea I have. Nobody else has thought of this. And then you do it and try it and you just all over yourself and then you're sitting there and acidic, vomit, sick, while shitting. Awful.

What a gross episode. So my experience with drunk people is probably less than a normal man my age because I don't like drunk people. I don't hang around with them that much and most of the time. But when really really really drunk people vomit it's hilarious because they they there's no shame left there's not even any initiative to bend over anymore it's this and it's just like flowing onto their body and they

don't give a fuck and i've seen it twice in my life Once we were walking near the Chinese theater in Los Angeles me and woody and a couple other guys were walking back to a hotel And there was a guy sitting on the sidewalk outside a bar vomiting all over himself, and I think woody said something like oh He's having a bad night We were all just like yeah. Yeah, yes is and the other one is white boy seven street so first of all so he's sitting on my couch on my back porch and uh me and uh harley from epic mealtime had picked up a few girls and brought them back to my place and they were just kind of hanging out and me and harley were inside making the video or whatever and white boy could control his own drinking but the problem was like

he had gotten drunk enough that like he was susceptible to suggestion and this girl kept giving him more like yeah you need more you need more yeah yeah and laughing as he drank more i think she just thought it'd be funny to poison him so she gets him so goddamn drunk like i swear like i was having a conversation with him we i was smoking a cigarette talking to him and i'm just like all right i'm gonna go here and finish this back up be right back um i come back five minutes later and he's gone from like a three or four drunk level to like a nine or a ten and i'm just like what happened and she had literally been nursing him with a bottle of jack is. I think I know this story.

Were there Reese's Pieces involved? He had eaten half a family-sized bag of Reese's Pieces. Keep in mind, Kitty is so allergic to peanut butter that merely touching peanut dust dissolves a layer of her flesh. It's like predator acid to her for whatever reason. Because of her immune thing, like, no peanuts at all. Like, it's a big deal. And I look at White Boy.

He's sitting there on our couch, and he goes, and like this peanut butter alcohol goo. It's orange from the Reese's Pieces. It's just like flowing out of him. It was a real mess. I don't, we left that couch there.

We left that couch. Yeah. That was, you didn't even take it. You just, that wasn't at your house. That was at my, yeah,

yeah. I left it there. Oh, that was at the lake house. Oh, and then you moved shortly afterwards and didn't take the couch. I follow now for out the couch is a, what did Jewish people say?

Forever unclean. It's forever unclean. Do they The couch is... What do Jewish people say? Forever unclean. It's forever unclean. Do they say that? Is that what Jewish people say? It is. I mean, I'm sure. Who do they say that about? Is it a racial thing? I think I might be

stepping into racist territory here. So. Yeah, be careful. They'll put that. There are my steps. Anyway. Yeah.

No, I think forever unclean might be used to describe something that violates one of their practices. Like you pour bacon juice all over their pencil. And now that pencil is forever unclean or something. I wonder what. So I hear you. And that makes sense to me. I can understand it. Do they carry the same principle along with people, do you think? Like, if a woman had sex with a pig, would she be forever unclean?

Yeah. Yeah, actually, yes. I think anyone, Jewish or not, believes that. Shane brings up a strong point here Would you date a girl who had previously dated A literal pig I mean

England elected a president that fucked a pig I mean who am I To turn away a beautiful woman I mean come on There's plenty of pig fuckers out there it happens You know you grow up on a farm Maybe you're in Iowa I bet the percentage of women who have fucked a pig is like three or four

percent I think we're way it way under s what is the percentage of men who fucked a goat 78% keep in mind the Middle East 100% don't forget Isis in there do you think they sit around and say that? Like, fucking Americans, man. They're capitalists, fucking running around the world, policing everything, blowing our people up, disrespecting our land. They don't even fuck goats, you know that?

They don't fuck goats. They just fuck goats, that's it. They're not into fucking little boys either. I don't know. I don't know. I thought that's where we had a place in common, us and the Catholics. We all fucked the little boys.

I thought we had that. The Americans, they don't even get on board with that. I want to believe that it's so commonplace that it's like, oh, I'm going to go grab a soda from the fridge and maybe throw Daisy a fuck while I'm back there. You just hear the goat scream. Of course, it wouldn't be a good friend if I didn't offer you my goat

hey Amon which hole is still free is that how it works you think you get to call dibs on a I mean like if you're butt fucking the goat then I might want to vagina fuck the goat afterwards otherwise it'd be unclean. Well, see, now that's a question, too.

If you're going to fuck the goat, do you go top or bottom? I don't know. See, here's the problem with this. You go top, you're probably going to get some goat shit on your dick. But if you go bottom, maybe you get some weird goat STD from that goat pussy. But goat shit. Maybe you get up in some bad goat pussy that the meds aren't thinning. I feel like this is an area

that you might have some experience. Goat shit is like deer shit, right? They're clean pellets like a rabbit. Yeah, that's true. You'll be fine. You fuck the ass. Yeah. No, no.

I think it's best to just steer clear. Just go find a lady. You're so gay. You're going to get some kind of weird goat std you're right i think kyle's right that's not worth the risk you're like dick's gonna rot off when i was had to fuck a goat when aids wrap it up i don't know where aids came from but when it first like became a thing back when um magic johnson got aids and stuff like that they thought or it was thought normally that yeah yeah yeah what happened is people and monkeys had sex and people got a fact on you I'm like 98

percent sure that it was from eating either the brains of monkeys or the or it's definitely from eating monkeys or from monkey body parts or monkey flesh contaminating other meats that were eaten. That's where AIDS came from. I'm like 98% sure. I have also heard the monkey fucking thing. And hey, that's probably true. I could believe that in a group of people who are like regularly eating AIDS monkeys that occasionally they threw one a fuck, okay? Like, I wouldn't put that beyond those people who regularly eat monkey brain.

But I think it was from the eating that it happened. And then they were like oh i know what happened to us all it's from dave he's always fucking them and they're like well you fucked him too bill and it's just like not that much and i was twice yes monkey was totally asking for it use his bottom hands his little his little weird feet thumbs dave chapelle's got that whole uh bit bit about training his monkey to give him a hand job. He's like, come on, don't you want to go out to the clubs? Nah, I'm going to stay here with my monkey.

Kyle. You know how long it took me to teach him to suck my dick without peeling it first? You're on to something there there is a further question but it appears that monkeys had hiv this sometimes calls it hiv one but i'm a little confused so it it looks like monkeys had hiv and then people got it from monkeys by eating monkey meat, it says in this thing. The AIDS Institute. But it wouldn't have been HIV if the monkeys had it. It would have been like simian IV.

It's S-I-V. You're right. Simian immunodeficiency virus. For the win! Double camera points. And mostly it transmitted to humans and mutated into HIV when humans hunted these chimpanzees for meat and came into contact with their infected blood. Seems like it would have been around. I don't know how long AIDS has been around, but seems like it would have been around forever.

People have always been eating monkeys, right? Why would it just suddenly come up? The virus mutated and hopped over. There's feline AIDS, too. That's a thing. Ew. Yeah. The virus mutated and hopped over. There's feline AIDS, too. That's a thing. I guess so. He's got the fiv. Something like that, but I know that's a thing, too.

So don't fuck any cats or monkeys. You know, your rules... I can't live under your rules, man. I won't constrain you. Yeah. No, I won't look at it. That's. I won't constrain you. Yeah. No, I won't look at it. That's why I'm not voting for Bernie Sanders. That socialist will come right in.

He'll be shutting down all the monkey fucking, the pig fucking. He'll shut it all down. You can't have that. Shane, do you have a favorite president candidate yet? I really don't follow politics at all. I got to be honest. Okay. I don't follow politics at all. I got to be honest. Okay. I don't feel comfortable.

So if I understand internet standards right, you are the perfect guy to tell people what to think. Yeah, right? Yeah. I have a question. What are some political issues that are important to you? Like, let's say, I don't know, like economy gun control abortion foreign wars the environment you look like a guy who appreciates a pro-choice woman yes why do you say that I just feel like you'd score a lot.

I'm married. Oh, really? I didn't see that coming. But my wife is perfect choice. All right. It's handy in a pinch. If you were to hypothetically make a baby now, would you? Just, oh, man.

What would you do? Oh, man, put me on the spot. We really don't want kids. Ever. Right now, at this point in our life, no. Maybe it'll change, but right now we're focused on the business and each other and traveling. Okay. So you're definitely a pro-choice guy, it sounds like.

Where do you fall on gun control? pro-choice guy it sounds like how do you where do you fall in gun control since since america has the most shootings school shootings um number one well i mean they're proportionate to the amount of guns we have though we got the most guns too you gotta keep that in mind if we had them think about it this way how many people drown in swimming pools in say nicaragua they probably don't have that many fucking swimming pools right we got tons of swimming pools i bet a lot more people drown in swimming pools in, say, Nicaragua? They probably don't have that many fucking swimming pools, right? We got tons of swimming pools. I bet a lot more people drown in swimming pools in the United States than they do in Nicaragua. Now, that doesn't mean we have a whole swimming pool problem. It just means we got

a lot of fucking swimming pools. Well, I didn't say that I'm against it or for it. I need a swimming pool to protect my family. Everyone should be given a swimming pool. I feel like after you graduate from the Coast Guard, you should keep the pool. I agree with that.

I agree with that. I don't own a gun, but I probably will soon. What kind of gun you want? You want a shotgun? I don't know. I should ask you for advice. All right, so what do you want to accomplish with this gun? Do you ever want to go target shooting with it?

Only, you never want to take it, say, hunting. That'll never be a concern for you. It's really about protecting the house, and it's going to stay, like, in your house, and that's it. Flamethrower. Where do you live? An apartment? Flamethrower. Because if you have a gun, it can over-penetrate, it goes through the walls, hurts the person in the next room. Flamethrower, on the other hand, does not go through the walls.

It does not go through the walls hurts the person in the next room flamethrower on the other hand does not go through the walls it does not go through the walls you can just burn everything the enemy and his clothing like there'll be really no trace the enemy by the time you're done but seriously though um where do you live what state i'm in los angeles oh but i'm from philadelphia so this is like it's like a walk in a park compared well I'm not an expert on those gun laws enough to even give you a recommendation but you know you can probably get a shotgun I thought that was going to be your home defense choice

that's the typical one it's a shotgun it's a shotgun because like it's real easy to accidentally shoot yourself with a pistol because you're capable of turning it all the way around in one hand. So let's just eliminate being able to shoot ourselves and get a long gun. I feel like that's a good idea. And, you know, the shotgun, there's the whole thing about, you know,

you rack a shotgun in your house and anyone who hears it is filled with dread. Everybody, even if you're not a gun guy, Bernie Sanders knows what ch-ch-ch means. And so, like, that's good. It's hard to miss because Bill Burr would say, it's got a wide spread, you know, if you're shooting down a corridor. Can I interrupt you? Bernie Sanders is actually the most pro-gun Democrat running, I think. I would say that retired military guy.

Yeah, I don't know where Jim Webb is. But anyway, Bernie Sanders has a D- record from the NRA, which doesn't sound that good, but they're harsh. I heard what he said about guns. It's not as scary as certainly what I hear about of Hillary Clinton. She's completely out of touch. Bernie Sanders stuff, while I don't like it, it's a lot more moderate. But he still talks about assault weapons and stuff, and he mentions gun show loopholes and those are just

things that don't exist. You know that What's a gun show loophole for those who don't know? It's when a politician lies and says that you can go to a gun show and just buy a gun from someone, cash in hand and walk away without having a background check

done, which is not the truth. Can I interrupt? It's kind of sort of true. So here's the deal. Okay. Correct me if I get anything wrong, but I think I have my act together on this.

If you go to a gun show and buy from someone who has a table there, those tables are almost always held by like people who also have brick and mortar stores. And there is no gun show loophole, period. You go to a gun show, you follow the same rules, you do the same background checks. I have bought from those tables and I can tell you, it's just like a regular store. So it's easy to say the gun show loophole doesn't exist because with regards to stores

selling guns, they can't just go to a gun show and freaking sell stuff. With pistols, and this is North Carolina, the state that I'm really the only one I know for sure. If I sell a pistol to another private party, me being a regular dude, because that's all I am. I have to still do a background check on that. It's easy if he has a concealed carry permit because I just know it's okay. If not, in North Carolina you have to get a pistol permit and I need to make sure

that you have a pistol permit before I sell my pistol to you or I could be in trouble. Or a concealed carry permit which means you can buy all the pistols you want. So anyway, that's North Carolina. I know Kyle's looking sideways but this is something I know. Yeah, I'm believing you. trouble so or a concealed carry permit which means you can buy all the pistols you want so anyway that's north carolina i know kyle's looking sideways but this is something i know yeah i'm believing you yeah i think i might know north carolina better than you you need a pistol permit you can get five pistol permits per year unless you're concealed at which point bob's your uncle

so anyway um a year yeah a regular person without a concealed carry can only buy five pistols a year unless it's changed but this is how definitely how it was when i got my first pistol Yeah, a regular person without a concealed carry can only buy five pistols a year. Unless it's changed, but this is definitely how it was when I got my first pistol. However, long guns, I can literally buy a long gun. This would be like a shotgun. I'm going to use the term assault rifle, but you guys know what I'm talking about. The black semi-auto rifle, a hunting gun, et cetera. All the long guns.

I can just buy that from a friend and own it like as if i was buying um a lamp or a couch from a friend like it's and and i think they call that the gun show loophole because if you go to a gun show there are literally people walking around usually they have like the um is there a name for the strap that goes on a gun show there are literally people walking around usually they have like the um is there a name for the strap that goes on a gun you wear around your chest shoulder strap let's go with that that sounds like you made that up but yeah they have the shoulder strap this is like what i picture they have the shoulder strap and in the gun shows i go to there's um like a particular kind of flag that goes in the barrel that verifies it's been checked as the guy walked in. And these guys are walking around and they're for sale.

They brought their guns to the gun show. It's just private parties, regular people. And it's almost like a real life Craigslist where you can go there and see them and buy them, etc. In my head, when they say there's a gun show loophole, that's what they're talking about. They're saying like, oh, I can go to a gun show. Fine. I was going to say Kyle, but Kyle is actually licensed and stuff. So I can find

Taylor there and Taylor can sell me his long gun and maybe that's the gun show loophole. Well, see, then that's a terrible thing to call it. Because that's just the peer that peer to peer sales so in my state um and i i knew does do you have to register your pistol in north carolina is there gun registration in north carolina that don't i feel like it's the pre-registry so i

don't really know you have to fill out a bunch of paperwork when you buy it and 4473 form you would you fill out you know it's a couple pages and it's where you live and those all those boxes you check and um i don't know if there's one on top of that for a pistol because um i feel like there might be i have a concealed carry so i don't have it and um you know they're like yeah do you have all this stuff and i'm like i have a have a concealed carry. And they say, oh, well, that makes this easy. And I just fill out what I guess is the 4470, like the one you do for every gun. Yeah, you don't have to do the NICS background check thing if they've got a carry permit. On my 4473 forms that I get from the ATF, I think it's like two handguns a day.

Or you have to do what's called a multiple firearm like variants type thing but you can buy as many of anything as you want here from from a gun store but the peer-to-peer thing is like like you said like that's the only way you can get a gun without a without having a background check run that I'm aware of is if I sell one to you. But you're a bad example. I think. I'm not sure. I can do both.

Okay, okay. I could go to my dad and say, give me $100 and I'll give you this gun, and that'd be perfectly legal. Or I could whip out a 4470. I could sign this into my federal logbook and then make my dad fill out a 4473 and run a background check on him and transfer it that way. But there's really no point.

I'm adding a step in the middle that's not even required by law. It's just silly. But any civilian, as far as I know, and definitely in Georgia, you know, you want this? Give me the money. Here it is. There you go. And no one ever knows. Like, not only does no one know where

like this gun came from like they don't know where it's going to after i sell to that person but i feel like when you start infringing on that right i don't like that at all i don't like that i can't sell my gun to someone else so my daughter else's gun my daughter you might call her anti-gun she's more liberal than uh any of us and i think i'm pretty liberal but um she's more liberal than me that's for sure anyway she was talking about gun laws and i was talking you know like this and i was like it's not that i'm against sensible gun laws it's just that a lot of the ones i hear aren't sensible to me you know like she likes paintball and i'm like what if i told you your hopper could only hold 10 rounds like it just sucks a lot of the fun away from how you might play paintball.

You know, yeah, constant reloading, constant handling this, you know. And I think that kind of sucks. And that translated well to her. Like, she could be like, yeah, paintball would not be the same sport if you could only hold 10 rounds at a time. And we talked about some other stuff but she said this what if every time you're buying sell a gun you go and like get an ffa you know you have to go to your ffa like the what does that stand for kyle ffl um federal firearms license oh thank you ffl and you just like all right so you and i have i'm going to sell a gun to some regular dude i'll meet you at young

guns we'll do that yeah they will pay the guy 15 to make sure the trend like to do the transaction and we'll get the background check okay so what that would require is registering every so for that to have any effect really you would have to a make it illegal for me to sell a gun to another individual like that have to be illegal and b you'd have to register every gun that was purchased from now on and they'd have to be a big federal database where someone could say jim norton

and it would pop up jim norton owns this nineteen eleven the serial number on this one is a fps one and they would know that so if they ever saw this one again they'd they'd that's jim norton's gun that would work going forward. That everyone's against that because everyone's afraid of a federal database where they know, no one wants to buy a gun

and have Uncle Sam knowing that they've got it. They don't like that idea. That emotes gun grabber fears in all of those people. But the real issue, let me finish this last part. The real problem is there's 330 million guns already out there so if i'm not

gonna i'm not gonna do that thing you just said if i want a gun to do some harm because there's 330 million guns out there and i'll just go buy one of those from an individual i or i'll have a do a straw purchase i'll have pete go buy one for paul so the gun registry argument i i don't accept because in my world on this thing it's not even about registering the gun. I'm not trying to track who owns what gun or which gun. I'm just saying that every gun purchase should be parallel to a background check to make sure you're not a crazy felon. Okay. So, but you have to register that.

You have to keep track track that it did that. If you don't, then how can you prove it was done? Well, you have a gun, and you don't have a background check with your name. They don't keep those anyway. We throw that shit away. Well, that's the idea. The idea is we just make every gun sale

coincide with a background check. That's the thought. It's not going to track every gun sale coincide with a background check. That's the thought. It's not going to track your guns. It's not going to measure it. I'm not going to know your inventory of guns. But it has to. It has to. It won't work.

Okay, so here's the scenario. Oh, wait. Actually, it almost has to. And I'll tell you the scenario. Maybe this is the one you were coming up with. Kyle has 15 guns, but the one he bought. But Kyle has 15 guns, but he only has 14 background checks something fishy happened right there but we don't know which one well i mean because we

don't track guns would be like all right so i own like roughly 100 guns right now something like that let's say you institute this new law tomorrow how are you ever going to know if one of my guns wasn't purchased correctly like and so so how could you would have to come to my house and you'd have to forcibly register all my guns before you know that if you saw me with a gun later that yeah the only way i'd be like no no no i had this is grandfathered in i done had had this. Maybe there is a flaw, and probably we should move on topics, but the idea is, and then the other flaw is when you make these rules, only law-abiding people have to follow

them, right? Yeah, I'm with you. If there were ever some gun control legislation that made sense, and I didn't feel was restrictive, overly restrictive, then I'd probably be for it. If there was this magic bullet, if you will, that would make fewer bad people get guns,

but not infringe on the constitutional rights of millions of Americans who use the guns to put food on their table, protect their families, for sport, for fun, for all those things. You know, I don't like that. But circling back to Shane's thing, what, Remington 870? Remington 870 or a Mossberg 500. It really depends on the ergonomics.

One has the safety. One, you operate the safety with this finger. One, you operate the safety with this finger. They're both 12-gauge pump-action shotguns. They come in a variety of customizations and setups. You can get them so it's just a pistol handle on the back, full-length stock. You can get adjustable stocks, short barrel, long barrel, sights, scopes.

Mine's nickel-plated because I'm bling like that. Nickel-plated. You brought up Bill Burt, and he said, why would I have a big gun because in the middle of the night it's quiet? If I shoot it, I'm going to hear that ringing. It's going to be a flash. Wouldn't that be the same thing with a shotgun? That's a funny comedy bit,

but it's a comedy bit. I don't know. I've shot guns without ear protection in places where I shouldn't have, and it's never like he described. He described like a flash bang where it's just Also in his scenario, he was shooting like a.44 Magnum, which

I don't know why you would use He's like and every time you blast you just get a flash Coming at you closer and closer So yeah fruit for home defense I like the 12 gauge shotgun if you hit them they will die If they hear you they will run If you have to get in a situation where like they're so close that like you know in that movies where the guy

grabs the shotgun from some way somebody like you beat him to fucking death with that thing if you want to it's a big steel pipe at the end of the day where do you keep yours everywhere all over wait Kyle

Kyle before you go any further i'm gonna guess he can reach four guns without getting up from his seated position oh i saw two up a bit so i've got two in hand i've got the 1911 but i can see one two three four five six seven eight nine ten i got three in hand and but wait without without your butt moving right like pretend it was glued to the sofa two guns two flamethrowers and that's where it stops right uh there's three guns i got a shotgun at my feet and a flamethrower at my feet and the flamethrower behind me and this and the 12 gauge next to me. But over there there's like sniper rifles and

handguns and multiple AR-15s and a.50 cal desert eagle and a.338 Lapua sniper rifle and like four 12 gauge shotguns and this is just kinda like the downstairs room. This isn't even where I keep the guns. Sprinkle some money around it would look like a rapper's house just a hundred little crap too um i keep guns everywhere because i live in a household where that's appropriate uh everybody in my household uh knows how to handle a gun and definitely how to unload one and defend themselves with one none of them are like mystified by the idea of a gun no one is ever gonna go oh look what i got and like play with kyle's gun well the reason why i asked is is for like home self-defense

where would you keep it if in the middle of the night you hear someone near the near your bed right it sounds a little paranoid but i've got my 1911 sitting right there like if i woke up from bed i could literally reach and grab it and like I know from muscle memory how to take the safety right here. I don't know. I'm a grab away from having a gun like this at night, which seems a bit paranoid and crazy, I'm aware. It sounds

like something Steven Seagal might do. No, if you're going to have it, you may as well have it to use. I keep my shotgun right next to my bed by the end table and then just put it in the safe the next morning. I think it's kind of fun to litter them throughout the house and I know which ones

are loaded and I imagine the scenario where I get in some kind of a John Woo gun battle with multiple assailants and they're picking up empty guns but I know which ones are really loaded and we're just having a crazy, you know, we're moving around room to room. I'm grabbing guns from secure locations and stuff like that.

I know there's a gun, there's an AR-15 behind the couch and you know, there's, there's a sniper rifle loaded up in the closet, you know, in case I need to shoot through some body armor or something. You never know. So, I like to keep... There's a difference between paranoia and being safe, like... Of course. I don't wear two headphones.'s a difference between paranoia and being safe. Of course. I don't wear two headphones. We're treading that line right now. When I'm outside, I won't wear two headphones because I want to make sure that I can hear

as well as see everything that's around. And I've said that to people, and they're like, wow, really? They're baffled by it. That makes sense. I do the same thing. There's people out there who might want to do you harm occasionally, and it's good to at least be prepared for that scenario

so it doesn't happen to you, or at least you feel better afterwards, so you feel like you could have done something, I suppose. I'm surprised you don't keep both headphones in on purpose, kind of trying to invite an attacker, just so you walk around in dangerous neighborhoods at night. You're just feeding for a fight.

Hanging out of your back pocket. Oh, damn. Well, my last fight in the last four years was not my fault but it was fun conveniently recorded and turned into a viral video there you so you went to thailand to train yes how was that those guys like over train and train full strength and don't use pads and shit like that right there's there's videos tiger muay thai um that they upload where yeah the guys will get knocked to the ground sorry and uh they'll kick them in the face and stuff that's not that's not common they're just trying to get

the wow factor with those videos and i don't agree with that training but it is super intense out there you wake up at 6 a.m and you go for a five six mile run and it's humid as hell there it's like 95 degrees already early in the morning and then you do two hours of training after that and then you rest you eat and then you do the same thing at three o'clock and you do that um saturday through or every every day except for sunday sunday's the only day off what do you do on sunday cry yeah right seriously well all the other guys would get prostitutes that was like pretty common all right so okay so i this is i read i i read a lot about you and a lot of impressive stuff a lot of cool stuff i like the stuff you the anti-bullying stuff

you do in particular i think that's cool for uh for the kind of guy you are and what you do but what i really want to know about is the hookers in thailand like so these other fighters so i do they have penises we'll get to that but first i need to picture like who these other fighters are are they other caucasians or maybe europeans who have come to like learn the ways of uh the region okay most of them were from england one guy was from sweden another guy was from norway i think my roommate was from norway but most of them were from England. One guy was from Sweden, another guy was from Norway, I think. My roommate was from Norway, but most of them were European guys. So this is a very Shaolin Temple-type movie scenario, where these white guys are going to learn the real deal from the people who do it. Alright, so once these guys are in that scenario, now, are they going after...

I know that Regent specializes in ladyboys. Now, is that what they're going after, or they just want a girl? I actually had this conversation with the guy from Norway, and we had a really long argument. And he was like 6'4", I don't know, like 250, like really big guy. And it turned into like a heated argument too, because he was arguing that ladyboys were more attractive than regular women. And he was set on that. And I was like, well, that's what you're into. I disagree.

And he's like, so if there's two women sitting in front of you, women sitting in front of you, and you have 100% chance of sleeping with them, all you have to do is just pick one. But one of them is a ladyboy. Do you take that chance? And I said, absolutely not because I, but one of them is a ladyboy. Do you take that chance? And I said, absolutely not, because I don't want to sleep with a ladyboy. And I'm not that desperate. And he's like, you're crazy, man, you're crazy. He was like, he, yeah, probably. What reasons did he give?

But, like, what did he say was better about a ladyboy than a female? I think he was saying that they take care of themselves. Like, they care so much about their appearance that they care more than regular women do. I thought it was going to be something that I wouldn't be able to get behind, but this makes sense. Yeah, he's making a lot of sense. I think his real reason was because he kind of likes dick. I kept saying it. I didn't want to insult anyone, but I kept saying it. Of course not, right? Especially that guy.

In all honesty, you're probably both at a similar level of training. Could that guy have beaten you to death in that scenario? Was that in the back of your head at all when you're having that conversation? Like, I better not offend King Kong over here or he might choke me to death

because I called him a fag or something and he just can't take that. And that might hurt his feelings because he's a Fag he was drinking a little bit too. Oh, yeah. Oh, so you were definitely afraid I know I don't if I'm in this if I'm in that scenario. I end up fucking a lady boy Just to make sure that dude doesn't hurt me You know what man you're right you're right you're right fuck all those other guys man you and you, bro, we like this. Let's go fuck some ladyboys. Yeah, I want him on my team.

It kind of seemed like most guys there were like, if it's a ladyboy, fuck it. Whatever. And I was like, yeah, is that? But then, I don't know. I would have a lot of conversations with those guys about that. And I tend to disagree. The legal age over there is 16, I believe. An adult can have sex with a 16-year-old. And they were showing me pictures of a 16 year old girl and they're like how how hot is this girl how sexy is she and I'm like that's a child like I'm looking at like that's that's a young girl and it was offending me and I get that like I was getting upset a little bit but it's it's

they weren't really doing anything wrong back to the us. Yeah, I was like that on there. That's Yeah, it's Thailand. I mean they were there with whoa, though. You'll love this be perfect All right, so what he will run six miles in the morning and run six miles at night and me and Taylor go fuck some Ladyboys come on PK adventure I get roped in you know come on PK adventure. How did I get roped in? Oh, come on. I mean, if Mr. Six Horse Sweden is there telling me to,

then I'll be the first one in line. Hey, you just don't beat me. Yeah, I think I'd have to go along with him. I would have been very afraid. I think there's three types of people. Three? Go on. Yeah.

Well, actually, I guess you could group them into two. There's people who go there for the Muay Thai, and then there's people who go there to party. And then the third would have been vacationers because it is a really nice vacation spot, you know, beautiful beaches and stuff like that. But I guess the vacationers and the partiers can be grouped into the same. But, like, the Red Light District, I went there once, and it was pretty wild. Like, it was the only time I've ever been to a strip club. I still haven't been to a strip club in the States, but we went to Spicy Girls. What happens at Spicy Girls? Spicy Girls, it was actually kind of cool

was each, you get like a booth and each booth has their own stripper. So a booth could probably fit like six, seven, eight people maybe. And then it's a circle booth and then there's a table with a pole right in the center. And she's got like like i don't know like three foot diameter um table to dance on and they only wear belts so they're already completely naked when you go in there um but they're wearing belts just about you gotta put the money somewhere hey right okay um i was only there for i think like two drinks um i got i got got tricked into going. Was that what? But like you trying to leave is like they like bang on your arm.

Like the strippers literally you have to like fight your way out. And then I got out to the street and I was trying to wave down a taxi. And that's where the lady boys were. And they were like when they grab your hand, it's like you have to fucking like, you know, use all your might because they got man strength you can bring a grip yeah like i said earlier though like i'm training day in and day out so my my muscle memory is like just used to go on like this so like one grabbed me and i just went like this and it was like and then like it was like they were playing with me like they were like my aunt or something like i'm like just to squeeze my cheeks. And I've never admitted this publicly, but it makes me really uncomfortable. Obviously, if someone's grabbing you, it makes you uncomfortable.

But ladyboys, crossdressers, transgendered. I want to point out what just happened here. There is nothing wrong with feeling uncomfortable when someone else is coming after you and messing with you. Even if they're not, it's okay to look over there and be like, wow, that's kind of fucking weird, huh? There's nothing wrong with that. We've lost that. We're losing that

I feel like with all the political correctness. We see a fucking freak over there and they're not a freak because they're transgender or because they're this or they're that. That's just a fucking freak. Keep it in the circus, bro. We used to make fun of shit like that.

And we're losing it piece by piece. And I'm taking it back. There's nothing wrong with you feeling uncomfortable when there's a bunch of people, whatever their lifestyle may be, coming at you and doing what you described. I agree with you. I agree with you. And I have to be careful with what I say because of the anti-bullying thing. But the thing is, I'm not insulting anybody.

I'm not offending anybody. I'm not harming anybody. It's just this is my personal space. Fair, but you're doing it to you. Right. And it's not fair. Call me old school, but it's not fair to let someone else

invade my personal space because it's politically incorrect for me to do or say something to stop that from happening. All right, so at the strip club, what's the currency on the table? What are they tipping the girls with? Well, it's called bat out there, but I think... That's what I like to hear. What's the exchange rate like? Like a bottle of water was like 10 cents here how much is a blow job

oh i don't know i really didn't indulge but no i i did ask guys and they said it was like the the no no no the hotel rooms i think they said were a little bit a little bit cheaper than a prostitute for the night i think okay which is uh which was surprising to me but then again like a hotel room for the night is probably like seven dollars and i could be wrong because it's been like six years open with that number because in my head i I know. Because in my head, I'm like, so what are we talking about? Like $50, $75? I don't know, $18, $0.20? It's probably like $20 for a whole set of them.

I had some of those old Dunkin' Donuts gift certificates. That worked. Gave them my Dave and Buster's power card. They were fine with that. Don't tell me. Yeah. That'd be a fun list to know, but you're making it sound kind of skeevy.

I don't know. I'm introverted. I'm a shy guy, believe it or not. It probably would be. You guys would probably enjoy it. I think Kyle especially would enjoy it. I'd like to see it. I think I would like to see it and be there. No, wait. Let me take a step back and say that Thailand is a place that I would go back to in a second,

and I recommend that most people go to, but stay away. Like, I would never go back to the Red Light District. I would never go back to Sui Khao Bui, it was called. That's definitely one of the biggest reasons I wanted to go, just to see what that was all about, you know? Yeah, if you're into it. I mean, I went to New Orleans, and I didn't like that that was too much fun we almost we started a riot one night in new orleans we were in um i think it was larry flint's uh you know the guy hustler magazine he's got a strip club there and we ended up on like some kind of vip balcony or some shit however that happened and we just had like a lot of ones like we had a lot and and we started throwing them

off the balcony at the crowd below and they shut us down real quick because there were people fighting down there for our ones he was like these people are poor you gotta stop that you're gonna start a fucking riot we were just like we throw like 20 with the ones out in the crowd and the crowd would just and everybody would like fight over the ones and like that was more entertaining than like giving some like chick who's heartless and doesn't give a fuck about you anyway I'd much rather have a crowd fight for my twenty dollars than like have some chick

like fake smile at me for my twenty or like wiggle her ass when she was gonna do it over there instead if I hadn't paid her I can picture that ridiculous caricature of like class warfare is what MSNBC would call it. Like you up there with the cigar, got your top hat on, throwing money at the peons below. You look like such a piece of shit if somebody caught that on camera.

I went to a third world strip club once. It was in the Dominican Republic. And before we even went there, like, I didn't realize that Dominican Republic was a, a, a destination for sexcations. Cause, uh, we were there on a surfing trip and, uh, we had like a surfing guide and, uh, and like his surfing guide. And then his wife was like the chef and we would go there. We stay at their house, which had like seven bedrooms or something. And, and, uh, that was what our vacation was all about. He'd take us surfing twice a day, et cetera.

And my buddies all wanted to go out and experience Dominican Republic. And I thought it would be cool, too. I guess I'm not lying. I was like, yeah, let's see what the thing is all about. Because if you just go to the beaches, it's kind of touristy. Not touristyy but there are other like Americans there and what's the exchange rate like there like put it in terms of like like what could I get with 10 bucks so the thing is a lot of the goods were roughly the same price

like if it's Heinz ketchup or something they don't sell it super cheap in the Dominican Republic it's only local goods that that can be super cheap so um like on the beach I think I had like a lobster dinner but it was lunch for like 12 or something like that so that's really cheap but a lot of the other things that are more global like gasoline and um you know food items and such that were imported they're not cheaper but the women they are local continue it just so happens i know the price of the women i'll get to that part of the story so uh um we go out on the town and uh my my buddies are like you you know, like taking it. On the flight over, backing up a step, the guy that sat next to Ian, who was on PKA one time, started saying like, oh, yeah, I'm going on a sexcation.

Dominican Republic is off the hook. It's the greatest thing ever. I've had sexcations all over the world. And he mentioned Thailand. He mentioned Dominican Republic. He mentioned Hong Kong and some other places. Japan. What's a sexcation exactly? That is when, like, I don't know if you remember when Rush Limbaugh got busted bringing, like, a bunch of...

Painkillers. Painkillers and Viagra on vacation. That's a sexcation. That's when you go somewhere with the the whole reason you're going is to fuck the prostitutes who are known to be there like a plate you know it's it can't really do that united states legally but you can go to those countries like you know thailand you can fuck you know 20 women or lady boys or whatever you want and come back and sometimes sometimes they'll film it and it's a whole thing that you pay for a package. Yeah, and it opened my eyes to it because we went there a couple of years.

We'd see these dudes. These dudes are like 55 years old, 65 pounds overweight, and they're like at dinner hanging out with this girl who's 19. Usually it's a white guy with a black girl, and she's looking at them all googly-eyed. And you're like, there is no way that is a a normal match this 19 year old like oh i love you so much like that is not you just saw his wallet yeah yeah he's american money he's buying the girlfriend experience and they get like three days 24 hours and you know and he'll like take her to the beach and they'll go swimming

together and this and that and then. Why waste your time with that? You stay here and watch Seinfeld, lady. I'm not taking you out to tour your own fucking country. I'm with you. So I've never been with a prostitute. But it would seem like hypothetical single can't score Woody would want just a flat out score. Like, I'm not looking for the whole girlfriend experience that lasts for three days or whatever. You know, I just said that, but I did the exact opposite when we did get those whores that time.

I bought them dinner. I spent $400 on that dinner. Why? It's expensive. You know, it's four people, $400. No, I mean, why? Oh, I don't fucking know. You know, to be honest, the only answer I have is I thought it would be hilarious to take two whores to a very fine restaurant.

We also brought Jeremy, you know, the guy I mentioned who's got, like, the non-speech impediment speech impediment. Like, he's just a knucklehead. There's nothing actually wrong with him. Like, I took him, too, you know? Like, I'm sitting there eating a blue lobster or something like that. And across from me is a guy eating a big bowl of macaron like that across the and you know across from me as a guy eating a big bowl of macaroni and cheese and drinking pickle shots it was just your own your own freak show rat pack yeah yeah so we so we go out on the town and uh this guy drops us off

at a strip club and i don't remember the name of it but it's somewhere in the dominican republic and uh and we walk in and all the strippers by the way also hookers right like that it's it's a known thing like every it's not like an american strip club where you can't even touch them in this strip club all the women you can fuck them if you want there's a room upstairs etc if you want to fuck two of them like the second one's half price or something like i think there's a there's something like a two for one discount going on appetizers deal at dj fridays yeah and one of the people we're with is single and um we're there we're watching the the girls dance or whatever or something and he's like topless bottomless oh yeah yeah all of the above and um is it a nice establishment are there lights a dj

that sort of thing maybe a little smoke um there was a dj i remember there was like a it was the dance floor had two levels so the second one was made of like glass or something but you couldn't see very well it was all like scratched up or maybe just coated with human grease and suntan lotion or something. I'm like, that's not sexy at all. This is like flashbacks to my 1990s didn't pay for the porn channel experience. Yeah, I could kind of see that there's women through this fuzziness, but it's not working for me. And to them, this is like the peak of the thing. that there's women through this fuzziness but it's it's not working for me and um and they're they think to them this is like the peak of the thing they're doing like a shower show or something

and i'm just like guys this is not hot in the slightest and one thing i'll never forget is some of the strippers were coming around right buck naked with arms full of puppies right and they're trying to sell us these puppies these dogs they're like puppies puppies and i'm thinking it's like a like a trick of some sort like like yeah i'll take three puppies and then they come back with like three rocks of croak of crack or something like that but no no they come back in a bowl no they were literally selling puppies while we were there and that just became a running joke all trip was probably only funny if you're there but um one of my buddies is single and he decides to hire one of these girls because he wants to scratch off his bucket list i guess fucking third

world hookers is is on his bucket list and uh i don't know if this will get me in trouble or not, but I was like, you know, I'll buy you the second one if you let me pick her. And he's like, you got a deal. And then I picked one and he didn't like her. And I picked another one and he didn't like her. So I was like, I don't like this friend. Eyes wide shut situation. Were you in where they were just parading people in front of you? Oh, yeah, yeah.

Was there a lineup, or was it, like, you were just, like, pointing into a crowd as people milled around randomly? They would line up. Periodically. Like, they'd line up, a bunch of girls would, like, go, and then they'd dance or whatever, and then, like, 40 minutes later, there'd be another lineup. And every lineup was, you know, like, well, you could pick them all night long but that's point and like like is it like that or you like and they literally wore numbers they had like uh um like if i recall correctly do you know those like necklaces women wear around their bellies yeah belts but like a gold chain right oh yeah yeah and then and then there was a number tag like that on it ah and uh i said now that i think it through 43 was the one that i was

how many women were in this place i don't even know if there were missing numbers in there but that was her number and you know like maybe that's the total number of employees or something and that night because i want to say there were only like 20 or 30 girls there. And so he didn't like any of the ones I picked. So eventually he just picked it. And I guess technically I bought a whore, but I wasn't there. And he had a two-for-one thing going on. And I guess I had to be careful to never mention who this person had a two-on-one thing

going on yeah but um he he failed to perform under pressure i know later that he was on some sort of like anti-anxiety a drug or something which could uh which could impact this and um so they uh what he did like basically he just like he became he went into spielberg mode and he was like all right i want you to do this and i want you to do that and he was just sort of entertaining himself yeah yeah and they did everything they could and there was no uh you know finishing finishing splosion and uh liquid explosion yeah and and they said they didn't speak english very well so he had a real hard time like trying to to uh yeah no but you know like like that it wasn't i don't know if that happened or not but i I remember they asked him, no leche, no leche, which is milk in Spanish.

And he's like, no leche. And that is my third world story there. I like how they had a man-made situation that you kind of worked with there. How much did this actually cost? It was like $75 a girl. We've got an 18-year-old Dominican native here. Wonderful curvy figure, brown eyes. When you buy her, you also get a half-priced

lazy-eyed Susan. Great figure, but she's a little fucked up there. That's from behind. A buyer's choice. What a scumbag establishment to just put numbers on them like cattle but i guess it makes sense it's not like you could pronounce her name taylor come on yeah it's true i've been to the dominican and i don't know what made you want to go explore that country because the

serious time was going from the airport to our hotel and then i finally was like oh god safe but like even from our hotel room, you can look over and just see the poverty all over the place. Like, there was walls separating the people who went there to the people who lived there because it was so dangerous. It's like standard construction

in the places that we went to anyway. There's going to be some Dominican Republic fans saying I'm totally wrong. But all the houses were made with cinder block walls and there was still rebar sticking out the top. Right. And it was like the weirdest fucking thing to me. Like, why is there still rebar? Like, if you don't know, rebar is this reinforcing bar and you put it in cement and it makes it stronger and earthquake proof and shit.

Anyway, so we started building up these theories like they had a one-story house but they dream of sunday having a two-story house and if you would ever like cut the rebar and just like put a roof on it and finish your house and make it look nice they'd be like ah look at woody it's so sad he gave up hope like he gave up hope of ever having a two-story home. He cut the rebar and just doesn't see himself going to the next level. I did something really douchey in the Dominican Republic. I was there with my brother.

Not even douchey. The guy was an asshole to me first. But I'm sure Woody knows, if you go down the beach and you walk the whole length of it, once you leave the resort area, you find these little shops where you can walk through and it's just a huge shop with like little, little huts on the inside, just like a big sketchy hallway with a bunch of small culvert stores. Just for what it's worth.

We never went into a resort area. Like I didn't see any resorts. We were at a resort area. And so we walked like half a mile down, found this little marketplace and I was walking in and I noticed a preponderance of wooden carved dicks. Like there were a couple like Dominican flags you could buy. But all the other souvenirs were dicks. Either dick pipes or dick candle holders or dick.

So many fucking dicks. And I was like picking one up. I picked up a little dick and I was kind of laughing at it. Like it was my brother. And the guy goes Oh, yeah, that one is American sized and I go oh, yeah, you know what else is American sized? I hold up my wallet And then they beat him senseless in the street all of his ah Thailand has good

surfing too, I think. I'm not sure. Might be mixing it up. New topic? Sure. This somehow seems related, but we were talking about this picture of Olivia Munn.

Ah, yes. That gif. I'm a big fan of this woman. I think the Reddit caption was like natural reaction. And she instantly sticks this thing in her mouth. Now, she might have been biting it to see if it's real gold. Like that's a thing that people do. Or she might have been giving it head as she does with things that she really worships. I don't know.

But Olivia Munn is awesome yeah she's an actress yeah and and she's on um she was on that hbo news show for a while what was it called oh that i could not tell you there's another gif of her i'm gonna find for you that's that's equally good can i show it on the show? Yeah. Okay. Oh, I know what it's going to be. The hot dog one, right? The hot dog.

The hot dog one. So she dated that guy from Star Trek who played Captain Kirk. Not William Shatner, but the new one. And I guess her phone got cracked or something, and they found all these sexy messages she sent him. Did you guys see that? Yeah, I got those on my phone. She was literally like, I don't know,

sending him hot pictures offering anal and shit like that. Do you remember that? She was a very sexy lady, yes. This is why she is light years ahead. She should get the... She needs to play Khaleesi. I want that. Yes, let's do that. Let's switch these two

women, because Khaleesi plays a very sexual role from the book, but the real life actress is not the sexiest woman alive. Sexiest implies some level of sexual feeling or thought, and this chick won't take her top off. This is Game of Thrones, bitch.

We take our tops off. We take our bottoms off in Game of Thrones. I think we need to get some hard dicks on that show, too. Every time a guy is naked, it's just some flaccid, floppy dick. We need to get some boners on that show, too. I feel like it's bullshit. HBO Go is $15 a month, right? I expect better

cock for $15 a month. What's that? It pulls you out of the moment of the sex scene When you're watching it and there's like the unrealistically Small amount of time between Post coitus and Flaccid cock where it's like it'll go from Boom having sex

There's three seconds of them like Finishing and then the guy's like Just hopping up and then it's like you clearly Did not just have a boner you liar Like you walking around as soft as though you're you know in an ice rink i like when the yeah there should be a glisten of post sex on that penis right back you up like the put some vaseline on it currently in the process of lowering you know like just send me so you're sold on the app i i i completely agree i i feel like what bothers me a lot a lot of times is the I

Completely agree. I feel like what bothers me loves a lot of times is the angle of approach is all wrong It's it's like that doesn't even work like that's not how sex I've had sex Fucking her belly button Bullshit you just fucked her belly button real hard. I saw it Just bullshit or like they're looking up against the bullshit. Or like, they'll be fucking... They'll be up against the wall. Yeah, up against the wall is the word. Like, yeah, I've got a U-shaped dick, don't worry. Or even better is when they're fucking from behind

and they're taking these millimeter long strokes It's like, yeah, we're having sex, sure! Just don't look too closely! I hate that. The simulated sex bothers me. I think real sex is the future of film and television that clearly There's been a few examples nine songs

There's a thing on Netflix for the chick like blow blows her blows the guy and there's calm and everything That's not Netflix has got some dirty stuff Movie at that point or they just make some porn with a better story. That was a movie about her sucking a dick That's my kind of film. That's a movie. What was I going to say? But yeah, yeah, yeah. So like I remember people were calling Olivia Munn and such slutty

when those pictures came out. I think I've talked about this on PKA before. Tom Larina, slut-shaming bitches. That's what's going on there. Those are people who are jealous of her. She has nothing to be ashamed of. Her body is perfect. She's a very sexual person, which I think is incredibly attractive. And she

seems really smart and well-read. She seems entertaining and comfortable with herself. Olivia Munn is like, she's probably on my top five hottest dream-perfect women if you're going to make that list. She's way up there. Absolutely.

You are supposed to be a ridiculous slut in the context of a loving relationship. She's half Asian, so you know she's going to age well. She'll be 60 and still be that hot. Lucy Liu's like 50. She does not look 50 she's that's the ticket I'm going to Thailand I don't know I can see the the path laid out for me now adventures yeah yeah I might need you to come with me I I could use a bodyguard yeah I mean I don't know no cameras will film it but we're gonna show anybody that's funny I've um I some people think that I'm opposed to like world

travel and that I think that every country is evil um but I just think that some countries are a little more dangerous than they give credit for and maybe not for you but maybe for me there might be i might have different scenario than you would have as a as an average everyday person like like you never know somebody i might get over there and they go oh yes fbs russia little kidnap like those the only two words i hear the next you know they black bag me and they're you know cutting my pinky off as proof of life and shit I don't need that and sure it's a one in a million chance but maybe it was one in ten million for you and I don't want to I like it when you see the fat kids like 275 pound 12

year olds with the hard to kidnap t-shirts I always want to go grab them and just bullshit come with me little by the ear but I would like to go to a country where the exchange rate is or at least you know an impoverished country where like it's not so much the exchange rate is just you know the they're so poor or whatever I'd like to I'd like my dollar to go that much further and the idea of not specifically seven dollar prostitutes but the idea of like well for prostitutes five dollars and a room is seven dollars then i bet like the finest steak dinner in thailand couldn't be more than 25 dollars right like it seems like you could really live it up to

like the the max in thailand and and drop like a month's rent or something you know what i mean yeah my whole trip flight and everything included i think was like twenty one hundred dollars and i was for a month i was there for a month so where did you stay now how much would it cost if you had say five prostitutes a week I stayed I stayed at a camp a Muay Thai camp and it was like it was just a bed and I shared a room with a guy and then there was like outdoor showers and bathroom but they did feed us twice a day two meals a day and I forget what that came out to be I think for the month it was this or hundred dollars maybe more.

But that was for a place to stay, two meals a day and training. So for a month it was pretty good. Was everybody there for one month or were there some people like you got there and they were like, oh, this is my month six. I'm really trying to get good or whatever. Yeah. Yeah, there was the Norwegian lady lover. He said he was there like indefinitely until he decided to go back.

Of course, with that full supply of labor for you. Who else could he be? I think he tried to pay for six months up front, and the guy was like, no, because I know a month in or something, you could change your mind. So let's just do a month at a time. Yeah. Well, that's really interesting. I actually watched the video clip of the third

round of that fight uh you had in uh in thailand when you took that elbow that looked like that hurt yeah i don't remember i really don't remember that's how you know it did yeah exactly my face my face was like swollen out to here the next day though how did you want that right no i did it wasn't on video so like no one really knows if i'm telling the truth or not but yeah i did yeah um i've i've heard that the uh the tie the guys from thailand i kind of almost want to prove a point to the to the white guys and then maybe they match you up with some of their toughest fellows did you see that at all no i wouldn't say that was the case. The ties are

super nice, like really, really nice people out there. And I never felt like endangered at any point or taken advantage of. And now the guy who went against probably, I probably had like five pounds on him. In fact, he was smaller. Um, but no, no, they were, they were, they were cool with it. They try to put... If it's a televised event, if it's a televised Thai event, they put Caucasians in the front. Even if you have a shitty seat,

they'll tell you to come in front because they want it to look diverse on TV there. So it's not just all Thai guys sitting there. It's got white people. What's the food like there? What was the food that you were being served? Iai food probably rice a lot of rice yeah yeah yeah have you ever had thai food yeah i like penang curry uh extra spicy i like thai food yeah it was yeah um it was like that just a lot better a lot of rice um masam and curry if you guys ever have never had that i definitely

recommend having that what color is that one um orange it's got a ginger um taste to it potatoes chicken yeah i've had that yeah that's good yeah i like thai food yeah no i kind of want to go what what are my odds of being kidnapped and carried away in Thailand? I feel like they're low. Oh, come on. This is why people fuss at you. In most places, they don't actually kill you all the time. See, I just prefaced this whole conversation with the fact that I'm aware of that.

I know that. But I just feel like they're... And you know, too. All right, so with a little... I'm sure that I feel like you, Woody, would be a bigger target for kidnapping in, say, Honduras than an average Joe would be because more people know you. Maybe they think you have some money. I don't know how they could get that idea.

And they just... That could easily happen. I'm just saying, if I'm going to go to Honduras, then we're probably going to talk about it some, right? What's to say some Honduran doesn't call his cousin and be like, hey, there's these two guys coming down there. If you were to kidnap them, you might be able to get some money out of it. And trust me, they'll pay you right up front.

These guys have talked about torture before. They can't take it. And that's true. I cannot take any torture. You know in the movies when they, like, that thing of tools, and there's a scalpel Bullshit as soon as you roll you don't don't even don't even unroll it he could come in there with like a napkin And it's he's about to eat dinner. I'd be like all right. Yeah, my dad. He's over there hiding in that Sick my mom's up in the attic hiding behind the wall

You burn her out whatever like I can't stand up to torture. I know I can't. I think most people who think they can handle it okay are really overestimating themselves because they've seen movies. Like guys getting their fingernails torn off and like, ah, do your worst. That's ridiculous. I would be selling people down the river.

I'd be trying to get on the bad guy's payroll before he could even unroll it. Like, hey, you know, my aunt, the one with the money, she's over there. How about if I do you one better? Find my uncle or divorce. He's got some money, too. I'll help you out there. Let me out of these straps. I can recommend a good mutual fund. I'll be your manager. Together. Let me see your whole portfolio. Come over here. Come on. There's no need for pliers. Oh, bro, you gotta

diversify. Yeah, I wouldn't stand up to torture, and so there's part of me that thinks that just because, I don't know, we're a little bit more high profile than the average person that it's not a good idea to go to an area that's known to have a

higher than we're used to percentage of kidnappings which happens a lot in certain south american countries and there's nothing about what i said that is in any way not true all everything i just said is true there's tons of kidnapping it's just that like i feel like the chances of you getting kidnapped have gone from like point zero zero zero zero one to point zero zero zero zero five and you're fine I feel like they've like multiplied by tenfold like okay zero zero zero one yeah too much I hear too many whores I wouldn't want to South America for one thing is it's kind of shithole you guys know it is and for another like I mean

look at that I mean where do you oh you want to go to Honduras you wanna go Nicaragua like like where are we going to go to Nicaragua? Like, where are we going? I went to Nicaragua. Is Nicaragua South America or Central America? Where the hell is Nicaragua? I was there. I actually think it is Central America. I would feel safer going with you guys

to a country like Thailand or South America because when they came to steal you two away, they would have to send me back with the message to Kitty to get the money. So I would be 100% fine. Like, we don't know who you are. Get the fuck out of here. And tell them we have Kyle or we're going to get in a finger.

Like, all right, all right. Kyle, sorry. Yeah, it's Central America, but it's north of Panama. So I guess it's not South America yet. I want to say the canal, right? I don't even know where the continents sort of start and stop. Wow, I feel really stupid right now.

South America just starts at Columbia, right? And all of Panama and higher is North America? Does anyone know this? I feel like it's a waste of time to even know. It's a waste of time to know. It's a waste of time to even know.

Americans don't know anything about geography. Who fucking cares what's Central America, South America? I'm not going down there. Like, maybe Argentina, maybe Brazil, like one of those decent countries with all the tourism and cool stuff going on. But, like, my grandfather, or, like, step-grandfather or whatever was from Honduras,

I've heard enough horror stories about that shithole. I'm not going to one of the poorest places in the world. I would love to go somewhere in Asia. Like, I would love to go to Thailand. That sounds cool. I've heard great things about Korea. I had a friend of a friend who went to Korea to teach English, and she raves about it, about how awesome it is

there, and how, like, how, like, cheap liquor and cigarettes are, and how everybody just parties all the time, and they have, like, a great time, but I just don't want to go to one of those. Have you heard of the full moon parties in thailand is that what they call it this was this was just word of mouth that i heard this but you get on a float they give you a float and you go down a river and they just give you acid and beer and you just float down the river and then boats will come up to you they'll sail up next to you and ask if you need any

any more acid or beer and it's just like that for like eight hours you're gonna be on a boat for eight hours how about you take a bunch of acid with your friends and people you don't know just be tripping your balls off in a country you're not that sounds horrible have you ever tried acid taylor no no i've never done acid kyle i would like to i i feel like um i feel like there's so there are those guys who with everything right who have been doing it their whole lives and they seem a little burnout i feel like joe rogan might even be getting a little bit frayed at the ends with all of the the psychedelics, you know, the mushrooms, and he does a variety of drugs.

And maybe, I don't think any one of them in moderation would be harmful in any way, really. But I feel like when you're really heavy into it like that, you're fraying at the edges of your mind a little bit. But I would like to try them for sure. Psychedelics in general seem really interesting. Acid. There's like multiple names, and I think several of them mean the exact same thing, and some of them are just variants of the other.

But the idea of doing acid, like a psychedelic where you're going to go on some spirit quest, some vision. I went to high school with a guy who talked about doing peyote, which is cactus juice, hallucinogenic cactus juice. and he talked about he's driving and he can see the road in front of him and suddenly the road goes up and i'm like what'd you do he's like fucking buckled up and held on and drove through the sky man and i'm just like well first of all you shouldn't be driving when you're second of all what if you were playing like a racing video game on on this drug that gave you that effect like that sounds like an adventure what if you're playing like the spider-man video

game i feel like could open your mind up to lots of things that's what robin's always talking about how it made him see the universe in a different way and that kind of interests me it's like really is am i missing out on part of my consciousness by not trying this this chemical yeah that's occurred to me too he makes it sound like if you don't do this that you're a closeted thinker yeah you know like if you you know you never you never saw like a big aspect of life that everybody's accustomed to seeing and yeah opposed to it so it interests me and his his description of it of these things interests me because

I feel like he's a smart well-thought well-spoken guy and I feel like he's probably really good at describing what this is like and I wonder if that you know he's describing what kind of ripped that description that's what I was waiting for my chance to talk about it this whole time. I find that with drugs, people often do a really bad job of describing what the experience is. You know, it doesn't matter if it's alcohol, if it's pot, if it's LSD, if it's coke, if it's heroin or meth or whatever. You're like, really? You tried marijuana?

I combined marijuana, heroin. You tried heroin what's heroin like and people don't really say like oh yeah well what happens is this or what happens is that uh the guy who did acid a bunch said that this is a guy went to high school with acid a bunch and failed out of college and uh he said he got a job in construction afterwards and and like someone would like hit a nail and would go flying and he'd see like five of them. Zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom. Right. And he's like, I'm catching. He called him trails or something like that. He's like, I'm catching trails.

And this concerns me a bit, but I'm told that it's not forever in most cases. And yeah, but by and large, people don't really tell me. They just say, oh, it's mind opening or oh it's good or it's bad or it's scary or you know you never want to be alone or apparently you're not supposed to look at like scary paintings or something while you're tripping like you never want to see that scream thing while you're tripping because it's so trippy like i you're not helping me understand what you lived at all john travolta when he was doing research for uh pulp fiction where he portrays a heroin addict who's often high on heroin like he was

told by a heroin addict that the best way to approximate the feeling of being high on heroin was to get quite drunk on tequila and uh sit in a hot tub and said it's like that sounds like a recipe for a terrible next day yeah Yeah, or a heart attack. I know, I was in a... Like, the only time I've ever felt, like, physically ill and I felt like it was a serious issue, I took Viagra in a hot tub and tried to fuck a chick in the hot tub in the 104-degree water. So you got physical activity, sexual activity,

the Viagra, which is just raising your blood pressure and doing all kinds of things. And I almost, after maybe however amount of time, at some point I was just like, wait, wait, what the fuck's wrong with me? I gotta get out of here. Like just like a shortness of breath that wasn't cardio related. It was like, it felt like I had like overheated my body and like i wasn't getting enough oxygen or blood flow or something to my brain it felt bad i it and it was not good um

yeah my wife gets that in the shower so like the shower will be too hot we're hitting it and afterwards she usually gives me credit like oh my god he really took it out of me it's like no you exercised in a hot shower that's the issue here yeah it's uh it's not it's a real recipe for disaster i wouldn't mix uh the the viagra with the hot tub and the sex those three are not a good combination if anyone out there is thinking of partaking such a thing it's a good time just not safe not at the same time not the same time yeah you could do any two of those three at the same time sh the same time yeah you could do any two of those three at the same time Shane you strike me as a guy with very little

drug or alcohol experience look behind you he knows his drugs is change my mind fuckers the one you call when you don't know where to get pot. I know. I hear it all the time and I've heard it all the time growing up that I look like a pothead, that I look like a stoner, but I really don't. I've smoked probably like less than 10 times my whole life and that's the first time was when I was 14. The only other drug that I've done besides that is mushrooms. And I've done that twice.

Um, yes. Why I had fun the first time, which is why I did it again the second time. And I would have done it. I would do it again. Um, I did a lot of research on it first though. Like you guys, are you guys familiar with Timothy Leary? No. LSD.

Oh yeah. He like, he like popularized it. He found it and he tried to, you know and he did a lot of studies on it. He made so much of it. Yeah, and did a lot of it. Most of the world's supply of it came from him. Yeah, but he did a lot of it. He had millions of hits of it.

Yeah, and his brain was fried. Some of the interviews, his later interviews, you can't even understand what he's saying. I don't think he knows what he's saying. And of course, I don't want to get to that level, but he does glorify it and make it sound interesting. But acid to me scared me a little bit. I like that the mushrooms are food poisoning.

Go ahead. I got confused. You said you've done mushrooms. And then in my head you kind of interchanged acid and mushrooms they're not the same thing right acids are that little tablet thing no but he has said that they're very similar the effects oh okay okay that mushrooms aren't as powerful but acid they'll uh acid they'll drip a drop of it onto a piece of paper paper sometimes it's a cookie or something like that tablet could be be anything really um it's also lasts like twice as long yeah

do you remember what kind of mushrooms you you took magic i don't know many years ago we ate some mushrooms and they tasted so goddamn awful that it just seemed like they were repugnant. Like, we were trying to match. Like, I took a chip and, like, dipped it in the salsa and then, like, put the mushroom on it and then was like, glump. Like, did my best, like, not to taste the thing and got, like, no effects from it. Apparently, we didn't eat enough of them or something. We went hiking, and all the colors were prettier, and that was the end of the story like all the colors were beautiful it was like you turned up the uh the saturation on the world and and that was the only effect whatsoever and it was beautiful

but it wasn't the uh the crazy like there are butterflies everywhere kind of experience it was just like ah that grass is really green. That sky is really blue. I think that was the first thing that I noticed. Oh, go ahead, man. Sorry. No, yeah, the first thing I noticed the very first time was we were walking down the street, and with mushrooms, you have to digest it, and it has to go through your system. So it takes about a half hour. And then I'm walking down the street, and I'm looking at these plants,

and at first it was like the saturation. I was I was like yeah I think things look more saturated and then I'm looking at something and I'm like I've never I've never seen that color report and from what I remember it was like a purple silver mixed like really like fluorescent and I'm like that's that's not oh I'm like guys I'm tripping this is it I'm starting to feel it but then once it like really hit me and the trip was eight hours long. It was really long. It was like you could make a whole day of it. But, no, but, like, it's, the way I explained it is, like, you kind of, you can, like, communicate with people, not without talking, but, like, you understand. You, like, vibe off of each other.

Like, if you're in a bad mood or someone else is around you that isn't tripping and they're, like, skinting out or they're paranoid, then you, too, will feel that, like, instantly. It'll, like, overwhelm you. And it'll be like this black cloud that hits you. But if you're in a good mood, like, everyone around you is in a good mood and you're all, like, on the same level. And you kind of are like, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. I know exactly what you're saying. That was the thing and it was it was fun like it was a bonding experience um there was a lot of thinking a lot of relaxing have you ever had to be the one to babysit like no watch people because i've had to do that and i know the vibe thing you're talking

about like the reason that they're a little peeved sometimes is because a lot of the time you're being annoying, like tripping. Like, I was babysitting for, yeah, a couple friends. And basically, for I don't know, Woody knows or anything, like, if you trip, you should have a babysitter. Someone who, like, keeps tabs on everything. You don't want all eight of you all on acid running around with nobody in control. Like, you need to have the grand master. Can you rationalize with them and be like, no, no, no, no. You don't want to go outside.

You could walk into traffic. We need to keep you in the apartment. Yeah. Not that, not if you can say it quickly because they, they trail off and look at different things and it depends on how much they've taken. To be honest, if it's like a little bit like what Shane described, then you can, you can rationalize with them.

Like, they're not out of their mind. But if they take, like, a quarter, like a ton, and they're just tripping their balls off. Like, I was with my friends, and we were just hanging out at my apartment because I was telling them, like, if you guys are going to do this, I'm going to watch you, make sure none of you do anything stupid,

and run around campus. And so we had grand plans for the night like we're gonna play this board game and we're gonna do this and that i'm gonna order pizza and get some beer and you know they ended up for two and a half hours the one of those cheap wooden doors that has like those fake wood patterns you know on it like for a bathroom door just cheap shitty bathroom so cheap hollow core wood door okay there's a pattern on it they just laid in my bed for like two and a half hours and stared at this design in the dark and they're all talking about how it was moving and creating art for them and that it was just beautiful and i had to keep

walking like guys wants to fucking anything but you sit here on my bed while i'm out here alone with fear and you're so selfish tonight wasn't about you taylor i know i would just be happy that it was easy to watch them okay no the rationalizing thing it was for me what i remember is we were like let's go to the mall everyone's like yeah that sounds fun we'll go to the mall and then the babysitter who was just drinking yeah he's like wait are you guys sure you want to go to the mall because there's a lot of people there and then we all like oh that's a good point you know no okay yeah we don't want to go to the mall? Because there's a lot of people there. And then we all like, oh, that's a good point. You know? No.

Okay. Yeah. We don't want to go to the mall. Like it was like stuff like that. If I would just give them like a crown, the crowns and a coloring book and have them trip for eight hours. It seems like that'd be a really easy job as while you watch, while you watch Netflix.

Put planet earth on for them so they can just think about nature. Colors are so deep. I like it. Do we need a whole new topic? Sure. All right. And I wish Kyle was here because it's right on time for the ad read. But this might be a quick topic.

So this is a few days old. Oh, wow. Wait, this is older than I thought. It says it's from is older than I thought. It says it's from December 2010. I thought it was current when I showed it. But 16-year-old girl who cried rape after cheating on boyfriend jailed for six months. Should women go to jail for crying rape?

Depends on... I feel like they... There's so much evidence you have to bring into account if it turns out that it's like it can be proven that it was a malicious thing to try and get vengeance where it's like all right this person just got pissed me off so i'm going to manipulate the law knowingly and do this and just have a mishandling of justice in my favor, then yeah. But if it's just like a, she thought that she was, and then it turns out that there wasn't enough evidence or something, then no.

Yeah. Yeah. That's the counter. So I was talking to my daughter about it and, um, she was just really conscious of the fact that you can't take it to a spot where, like, if you accuse someone of rape, one of us is going to jail. Like, all right, I've decided to play chicken with you. You know, you did something to me.

I'm not happy now. Like, you rate me. I'm not happy. I'm willing to roll the dice. One of us is going to jail over this thing. And it's like, you know, all right, if you can prove rape, he goes to rape he goes to jail if you can't you go to jail like that shouldn't be the outcome but usually in these cases like it's it's really clear like like there maybe there wasn't even sex at all and she just told the cops that was the case and uh you know to get out of trouble or something like that like i don't know like it's

the women's version of beating up a guy you know using the law to do this it somehow it seems analogous to this dumb thing on woody craft we have these games woody crafts my minecraft server it's the best minecraft server the world has ever seen seen. And the players will play against each other. We have these games that are competitive that don't last just like, you know, 15 minutes or so. They last four months. And I love it when the players try to beat each other through the game. That's great. It's how it's supposed to be done. I hate it when one of the weapons they use is me and they say, Woody, you don't know. Taylor did this thing or Taylor did that thing or Taylor said something about my son or whatever.

And like, you know, their method of beating Taylor is to get me involved and to like ban somebody or whatever like that. That's how I think sometimes women attack men. Not very commonly, of of course but it's like yeah I'll get the police to get after you yeah that's a crappy tactic I don't know it shouldn't be like I guess I'd just be retreading over

what you said like unless it's a vengeance malicious thing where it's intending to take advantage of the law then you shouldn't go to jail for it like but I don't know that's such a sticky situation that whole issue anytime it comes up like you have to be so careful what you say no matter what because anything you say can and will be misconstrued or misunderstood by someone even if like you're taking all the precautions and being as honest as possible like someone's gonna just by mentioning the word like people

get a little pissy sometimes not our audience i don't think did you see the one recently so this this police officer arrested this woman a pretty thing in her 20s and uh i i think she was drunk driving and then while she was in a room by herself she used her cell phone now she wasn't supposed to be using her phone she was supposed to have her phone i think and uh he heard her on the phone and it's recorded so i heard her on the phone and she said that uh she was going to accuse the cop of rape and get him in trouble or molesting him or something like that like he touched her boob or whatever and anyway she tried to get the cop in trouble for a sexual assault but everything everything that happened, like he had a body cam, he recorded her telling her friend that she was going to use this lying tactic to get the cop in trouble. She shouldn't simply be unsuccessful.

She should go to jail. There needs to be a penalty for falsely accusing, but there needs to be a balance somehow. In a case like that, she clearly was knowingly breaking the law. This wasn't a he said, she said. I feel like that's way more black and white than most of these situations. The punishment should be rape.

Punishment should be rape. It should. Ad read time, Kyle. Nothing like a little rape to get you in the mood for some ads speaking of me undies well I think we should you want to space these out maybe I'll do one and then 30 minutes we'll do another or whatever you think is best all right so do you want to which of our sponsors would you like me to tell you about first me MeUndies, which I... ...really love, or...

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cock on that dude right i'm sure we all thought that right it's it's on display in a way that boxers don't display your junk and i guess when i first saw it having been a boxers guy since like my teenage years it was like he's got a lot of fucking package there and this isn't even a good one there's another one where he wore white underwear they probably don't want what is that reebok Reebok underwear? Whatever. Yeah, it's Reebok underwear. But I saw it and didn't quite get it until I got the MeUndies. They sent it to me, and Jackie is like, wow, check out that package. This is a woman who's seen my package tens of thousands of times. And millions, maybe. It cups and gives you a little lift.

There's support there. Thank you. It molds to every crease and curve of your cock and balls. You can see the head outlined and everything. It's really grabbing on. I'm sold. You're Frank sitting on top of your beans or whatever

and you normally don't get that outline on either side, but this does. You look good wearing them. They feel amazing. They took my package and, you know, it's hard to sell jewelry if you don't have proper lighting and a nice display right this should be like that white leather thing when they bring it out they don't put it on top of that scratched up glass countertop no they've got on the fucking floor no they put them up there on that velvet yeah they put it on

the velvet and they put the light on it and that that's what MeUndies do for you. They take your junk, and they make it a treasure. I want some for my girlfriend. I really do mean that. If any of you people MeUndies are out there, I want to see what her ass looks like in this underwear that makes my dick look amazing. I wonder if MeUndies... No, I was going to talk too much smack.

I'll let it go. It would be inappropriate. I want some of those panties. They make socks, too. I'd love to try your socks would be inappropriate. I want some of those panties. They make socks too. I'd love to try your socks out so I could talk more about them. I bet their socks are incredible. What if their socks are as soft as the underwear? Imagine.

I'd work all day. Probably the same material. Work all day. I think it's made from birch wood trees or something. Really? I'm going to head out. All right. I hate to do it.

No worries. I'm having a great time. Thank you for coming on. I would love to come back on. Yeah, we'd love to have you on. I had a great time talking about the ladyboys. Tell everybody again what you do and where they can find your stuff at. So I teach self-defense videos on YouTube, fight tips videos.

If you just type in fight tips, you'll find me. Boxing, Muay Thai, all that good stuff. Sometimes we have guest trainers on doing grappling and Krav Maga. I was going to say, how's your ground game, Shane? It's not the best, to be honest. I've done boxing, taekwondo, and Muay Thai, so I'm all striking.

I'm looking to get into judo next. You should do a collaboration where you guys have a grappling only sparring match. That would be fun. Oh, God. He looks really fit. He is really fit. I'm sorry we're out of time because I wanted to talk about physical fitness because

he's a real specimen. He's one of those guys that you see walking on the side of the road with their shirt off and you're like, he's like a fucking action figure. How'd he do that? Yeah, fuck Shane. they're talking about you with your website pretty boy yeah all you need is a haircut and you could be a model model some when i see the money yeah when i see the money i'll cut them off but otherwise money whore all right all right thank you for coming on good times

thanks all right now I need to fix you know I didn't find the right picture there is a picture somewhere from what i'm seeing there it looks like he's got above average but nothing that would shock you if you like that thing my cousin described in the locker room where like that transgender person like rolled out a 10 inch cock out of nowhere like like it was a elephant's trunk or whatever like a fire hose like it's spooled up and it's like a like a big fruit foot roll-up it's funny i i googled conor mcgregor cock and the top or the top uh link was like conor mcgregor is packing untold firepower from uh mixed martial arts.com all right now i need to fix everybody's stuff

did you see justin bieber's does help a lot did stuff. Did you see Justin Bieber's dick? I did not. I missed it somehow. Yeah, so he was vacationing somewhere. It sounded tropical. I don't recall the exact locale. And it looked like he ran out a back sliding door completely nude. And he's kind of like jogging and laughing.

And he's fully naked. So they got a picture of his dick. Uncut. Uncutut I did not expect hmm oh I guess in the great white north it looked like he had a decent sized package I honestly think that I got I got more going on than Justin Bieber so touche who would have thought that would have been an enviable statement well I eight five years ago none of us would have until we saw it i still have it yeah here let me help you out it's all right you don't want to see

justin bieber's dick you're gonna google it right after the show i might yeah just be sure let's see here seems like you would be smarter than that if you're that famous to not be like you know prancing about like that even if you are in a different country because like you're like you're so famous that someone's looking for you all the time constantly like he couldn't go to thailand very safely for sure can't go anywhere yeah he's super recognizable somebody like that although i saw that thing the thing the other day where Chris Pratt was unrecognized by all those New Yorkers. That was interesting. Yeah.

But I feel like Justin Bieber's more recognizable than... Who do you think the most famous person in the world right now is? Right now. What'd you say? Barack Obama. Maybe. Everybody knows who the Pope is. Oh, yeah. I knows who the Pope is. Oh.

I don't know, actually. If you took the Pope out of his outfit, I'm not sure I'd recognize him. Oh, no. He's got to have the outfit on. I know the title, but like... That's not fair. That's like saying... No, because if Barack Obama wore a regular suit and was on the elevator with me, I'd be like, I totally know it was him.

You can put a new old guy in that Pope outfit every day like nobody would notice and it would take a while for people to be like the same guy we all saw emperor palpatine if they should if they wheel his ass back out there i'm gonna have to join the jedi resistance or something that guy he looked so much like palpatine it was scary it. It was like George Lucas knew something we didn't, and there was something about to go down. I didn't know what to think about that. There was a time when I thought Michael Jordan was the most recognized person in the world.

Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson, maybe. Not Michael Jordan. I bet Obama is up there really high. I bet Vladimir Putin probably is somewhere up there. Kim Kardashian, as sad as it is, is probably up there. Maybe some enduring faking soccer douchebag.

Yeah. You have to think about global things. There's like 2 billion people who know some soccer player somewhere. I wish I could relate to that sport and get into it. Have you tried being more boring? Why that? relate to that sport and get into it but have you tried being more boring but i think the problem with it is that when it's played at its highest level it's um it's it's not entertaining if that makes any sense when everybody is amazing out there it just doesn't look you know

the games are often so low scoring and and it just seems like there's a lot of back and forth, and I guess I don't have any appreciation for the ball handling. I see them moving with the ball, and I'm just like, yeah, they're moving with the ball, whatever. I just don't get it. I think a lot of professional sports are like that. I feel like professional basketball is played the wrong way. I think they need to put four men on each team.

Those guys are... When they came up with the idea for the dimensions of that court, the height of that basket, the size of that rim, the size of the ball, and five men on each team, it wasn't the caliber of man we have playing that game today in mind. It was a bunch of white boys in Indiana who couldn't even jump up there and grab that peach basket they were shooting at all right so like I disagree seven foot tall guys with wingspans they're like eight feet in some cases like it it's it it's too much you need a less you need less players four on each if you had four players I think it would spread out the game and they'd just be shooting threes and such and you know it'd all be all about the jumper what you have now with a crowded game is these mega athletic guys who dribble the ball like it

had a handle on it i would change the dimensions of the court too the um i would make the rim 12 feet for sure it needs to be 12 feet because you don't like dunking no because it's too easy to dunk there's plenty every player shouldn't be able to dunk, and right now every player can dunk. How is something an achievement if literally any player that's playing the game, if he's just standing there in practice, can just hop up and do it? How is that

something cool? It's like an 8-foot rim. Yeah, to us. Yeah, exactly. It's like an 8-foot rim to us. It should be 12, so when you see somebody fucking dunk, they soared through the air to make that dunk. But it's also a weakest shit dunk, and it's often like a finger roll, and it's...

Whatever. It's still going to be impressive. They're going to be flying through the air. I think that the three-point line needs to be backed up a couple more feet. At least another yard or two. At the very least, they need those oldie time leather football helmets

and then maybe very light pads and allow some not body checking as hard as hockey, but let them mix it up a little. Where their limbs are at. Yeah, be a little more aggressive there. I'm torn on that too, right? If you were saying golf needed more contact, then I'd be totally with you. Yes, they should be

fucking with each other in golf. Golf is the most boring shit in the world. Yeah, dude. There's no playing through. They're occupying all the holes simultaneously, so every time you hit, you have the opportunity to go for the hole or go for the other player. Golfing should be a little bit...

Golfing should be a little bit like a field goal, right? Like you and I are golfing together. It's kind of, you know, 1v1. They put me 15 yards away, and they're like, ready, go. And you have to get the ball off. I try and block it or ideally tackle the kicker before he does it. That would make golf good. But the golf today sucks.

But basketball, no. I feel like a lot of these changes that they're making, like all the dunks will be harder and they'll be weak as shit, barely getting it in, and we'll spread it out so that fewer players, so people are more wide open to take their shots. I'm like, ah, 50s basketball was shit. I don't think that it's – see, I don't think those things are true. All right, so even now there are times

where they just roll it in off their fingers or they do a layup. Those are the cases when they don't have enough speed or athleticism to get the dunk because it seems like they need at least two steps, right, to get it done. Most of them. So I feel like the same thing would happen.

You'd have those finger rolls and layups at about the same rate that you have currently. Maybe more, but I just feel like a slam dunk would mean something. And not every player could do it. I don't know how many men can dunk a 12-foot fucking basketball goal, but I know the elite can. And I feel like that would be cool. Here's my issue with basketball.

As far as spreading the game out. And I don't see how four on four would be different than five on five if you shrink the court. All right, give me a chance here. Here's the actual problem with basketball. One, fucking thug life, right? Like there's a huge population that doesn't relate to the current basketball players. People are so tatted up. They look like rap stars, right? And not like

pro athletes. Two, Millionaire's Club. These are my two issues with basketball. Back when the old school guys played, the Jordans, the Johnsons, Larry Bird was known for being a dick. These guys didn't like each other. Elijah Wan. They had rivalries. Now, it's not so much rivalries. They're all friends. They're all in this millionaire, escalate-driving club.

And they're all friends. And they're all like, yeah, I'm in the NBA. You're in the NBA. We're all rich. We're all famous. Things are going good for us. We're happy rich. We're all famous. Things are going good for us. We're happy. No. I want

them to fucking torture each other and stuff. Do you remember the Larry Bird story where he I think he met Hykenam Olajuwon? Do you know this? I know a bit about Bird, but not that story, no. Let me see. I think I'll be able

to YouTube this pretty quickly. I saw this YouTube clip where Bird hits, like, six clutch shots in a row at the end of a game. Like, he, like, takes the lead with one three. He gets fouled. He hits both free throws or something like that. He hit, like, four threes in a row and all of his free throws, and it won the game.

It was incredible. Because every time, every possession that he had he had to make the shot to continue the game or to win the game and every time he made it and he made it flawlessly it was really incredible see how clutch that guy was i can't imagine that amount of pressure not affecting you so much like i feel like when i'm under that much pressure like my limbs feel numb and my brain's a little fuzzy. I don't have the same coordination anymore, it feels like. But he seems to just rise to that. That was cool to see.

I just don't like how basketball is so much of an all-star sport. Very few other sports, one guy can be the whole reason that you're good. One guy's excellent on a baseball team. Like, sure, if it's the pitcher, that helps a lot. But other than that, it's not going to save you and redeem a shit team. Like, football, same thing. We see it all the time when you've got, like, that great quarterback, and when he finally gets away from Chicago and goes somewhere,

like, he rises and shines as soon as he's got a defense. Like, Tom Brady isn't Tom Brady without that defense in front of him. Yeah. Yeah, I know what you mean. It seems like – Too much of that. But I feel like it's – I feel like that could be changed if the court were different. I really do think four-on-four basketball would be more fast-paced.

I feel like there'd be – I just feel like it'd be more fast-paced and I feel like there'd be more cool scoring. I'd like to see that. They're just too big. They're enormous. And they just need a little more aggression, so you kind of put the fear of God in the all-stars of every team. Because as of now, it's like, we're playing basketball.

What's the worst that you're going to do to me? I know I can take my sweet time. Worst-case scenario is I don't score. The perfect headgear, I think, would i the perfect headgear i think would be like uh the wrestling headgear that covers your ears so like you protect your ears and a little maybe it's soft some soft protection on top and and i'd like that i think maybe throw in some elbow pads and have them mixing it up a little bit i'd like that like i don't know what the rules would have to be but maybe you know if you're not touching the ball just about anything should be okay you

know if you don't if you're not in the ball, just about anything should be okay. You know, if you're not in possession or receiving or something, I feel like you could fuck with that guy a lot. Yeah, make it so, like, you can't charge, like, hockey and just ram into someone, but if you have both feet planted, you can give, like, hard shoves. Or maybe, like... I don't know. They'd never do it, though. Those guys are pussies just like...

I see more flops out of basketball guys than I do soccer guys. Like, those guys are pussies just like i i see more um flops out of uh basketball guys than i do soccer guys like those guys are constantly taking falls and flopping and pretend like it'll be it'll be just like the other guy go like that and he'll be like oh an opportunity and he'll just like fall over like he got slammed i hate that with a fashion i don't like any sports where someone flops or flails which is why the nhl is so great when you they think that you even exaggerate like if you get tripped and they're like you know what you fell harder than we think you should have fallen you little bitch and so your name is publicized as you know so and so for embellishment and fine 10 grand or whatever it's like they don't take kindly to that there are some sports where like the mindset

is so manly and hardcore that you do the opposite in football when you get hit hard you pop right back up like that you're sure you're that if someone nails you and you just got your lights knocked out you want to hop back up and act like you didn't feel a thing and run back to that huddle because it's going to get the other guys he's head. He's going to be like, I just gave him everything I had. He wasn't even looking. And he just hopped up like it was nothing. He's ready for the next play. But in hockey, I don't know that much about hockey,

but I've been to a couple hockey games, and I watched the Bruins and the Atlanta team, whatever the fuck fuck they were and they mixed it up a little out there and those Guys were serious. I could see their faces. They were angry They were very upset and and they're they looked really like really scary guys like and they're enormous on those skates They must be skating around at 6-4 or something even the regular size guys And seen any of those videos on YouTube of hockey fights? Because there's like etiquette to it before it starts. Dude, I know about the etiquette.

Can we circle back to Larry Bird here? I've been looking for this story, and I can't hear Wilkins saying it, so I'm going to have to read it to you. But here it is. One of the first times I ever played against him, this is Dominic Wilkins talking about Larry Bird, I went out for the opening tip and went to shake his hand. He just stood there and looked at me stone-faced with his hands behind his back.

I was like, whoa. Then we were getting ready for the tip, and he says to me, Holmes, you don't belong in this league. I couldn't believe it, but it happened so fast, I didn't know what to think. Larry Bird called people Holmes. Then we had the ball, and I was on him. And he said, I don't know why they got you guarding me, Holmes. You can't guard me.

Then whap, he hit a three. And then he came down on me and said, they made a mistake putting you on me, Holmes. And he took another three. Getting into the story, Wilkins begins to act things out with his facial expressions. Now I'm so hot. I'm hot. I mean, I'm fucking steaming. And then a little while later, I came down on a break, and he was backpedaling. I went'm so hot. I'm hot. I mean, I'm fucking steaming. And then a little while later, I came down

on a break and he was backpedaling. I went right after him. I jumped up and he tried to challenge, but I took it right through the rim and he fell and hit the basket support. He got up and said, I like you, rookie. You've got guts. And I was happy for a second. He said, but I'm still going for 40 on you tonight.

Then he paused with the story, stepped back and smiled, but I got him, Wilkins said. He only scored 39. Yeah, you showed him. That's old school rivalry, right? That like,

you got guts, why you guarding me, et cetera. I just feel like now they're all friends. They're all like, you know, we made it

and that stuff behind us and the farther you go back in time the more scary that those rivalries and intense the players become when you go all the way back to Ty Cobb I was fucking scary Ty Cobb sharpened his steel cleats he slid feet up he slid in and kicked you with steel spikes on his feet like that's what he did as As hard as he fucking could. He wanted to hurt you, so you dropped the goddamn ball. He was the greatest hitter in baseball of all time.

His numbers are unfathomable. He wasn't a power hitter. He was a control hitter. He could put the ball in play anywhere he wanted to. He was incredible. But he was a mean motherfucker. He caught a man picking his pocket once, and pistol whipped him to death right there in the streets. To death.

To death with a pistol whip? Like, that must take a lot of hits. He pistol whipped him to death. Keep in mind, that means that he must have been carrying a pistol. And instead of shooting the man, he decided to beat him to death. He also beat his wife quite a bit. He didn't like black people or Jews, but he was one hell of a baseball

player. We had some racial rivalries back then where it would be like, oh, we're playing the fucking Yankees tonight. It's like, why do you hate them all of a sudden? Well, they got a couple of Irish guys on there. It's like 1906

racism. Ty Cobb is from my hometown, so the ty cobb museums here and everything so i'm a big ty cobb fan he was a horrible human being but an incredible baseball player and that's what really matters yeah and if you want they made a movie about him uh tommy lee jones plays ty cobb and uh it it was filmed here so like a lot of the shots in the movie are my hometown and stuff. So check that out. It's called Cobb or Ty Cobb or something like that. Good name. Do you ever think of how much they could get away with

back then compared to now? He killed a man. Yeah, Michael Vick. In the street. His dog thing was in like, if the football was that big in like the 30s, and he did it then, it wouldn't even be on his Wikipedia page.

It'd be like, he was an excellent quarterback, a bit of a kerfuffle with a couple animals once, you know, surged ahead and now is subpar. That long ago, they'd be like, he was a champion dog fighter. His dogs killed more other dogs than any dog. They'd have been bragging about how badass his fighting dogs were. Dog fighting would be all the rage. Little kids.

Not only a professional, in his spare time he fights dogs. Tell us about it, Mike. Here he is bringing a few of the neighborhood kids in on the mix. Get them, boys. Is Vic still playing football? He's black. I thought I heard something about him recently, like not being welcome on some team

i honestly don't know i know i think he's gone from philly no he's not in philly anymore i thought that might be what you're talking about uh it appears he plays for the jets now i'm on his wikipedia page i'll it. It just looks like there's stats and stuff. Well, I'd like to take, would you like me to take this moment and talk about our second advertiser while you look up his stats? Because I'm curious about where he is.

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And I happen to know that Chiz has ordered a month's supply of this stuff. And although he didn't used to eat breakfast he's replaced two of his meals in the day with this stuff he he likes the chocolate flavor he says it tastes like Cocoa Puffs and I think he's using the whey protein because you can choose which protein source you want so it does taste good so this is actually my first experience with it just gave me a bottle and um can you hold it closer yeah i was holding it to the camera but so people know i have two cameras one for kyle and murka and one for you

guys um it does taste i expect it tastes bad so here's here's my honest opinion of it um it's super easy to make what they do is they give you this bottle that's half full you add water shake it up and there's your meal it's as straightforward as that um there are like seeds in it which there's seeds all over the ladle if you look at it but to look at the powder it didn't look like it would be seedy at all but when you chew it or whatever you're like oh i see it's not um it's not just powder like there's some meat if you call seeds that it's not a completely. Like, there's some meat, if you call seeds, there. Yeah, it's not a completely homogenous mixture. There's some hemp seeds in there and stuff.

Yeah, like, it's not just water. And Chiz was telling me when he drank it, like, he didn't expect the seeds at first, but they're there. So you got to know you're kind of drinking a meal, not just making a milkshake. It's not like a milkshake. There's food in it. not just making a milkshake. It's not like a milkshake. There's food in it.

And I don't know. I guess it's a cool way to take a meal, control your intake, control your portion sizes, and save time. Yeah, it's acid athlete. Do you have the fitness kind? I'm sorry?

Do you have the fitness kind or the protein kind? I don't know if they have different goals. I think that basically it's a healthy meal that fits a handful of different goals. Stay energized without stimulants and junk food in the time it takes to have a cup of coffee. So it looks like they're doing a healthy thing. I hate to mention competitors' names, but some of the other people that do a drinkable food, it's not actually much of a meal.

It's like a milkshake or something.'s not actually much of a meal. It's like a, whatever, it's a milkshake or something. This is good. Yeah, I looked through the ingredients and, you know, the nutritional values of everything and PKA nutritionist here, but it seems pretty healthy to me. I don't know, it's decent. It's not too many carbs. It's lots of fiber. It's a ton of protein. The one Chiz has is 50 grams of protein per per bottle And there's tons of you know all the vitamins are there and stuff You know it's it's nothing magical you wouldn't see on the size of the side of like a box of Raisin bran or something, but it's in high values of everything. It looks healthy to me. Yeah

I'm pretty interested to like futuristic. I went to their website Yeah, it's just stop cooking eat like an astronaut. It's I, too. Like futuristic. I went to their website. It looks like space food. Yeah, it says stop cooking, eat like an astronaut. I guess this is what the astronauts eat. So, cool. Yeah. I'm looking forward to see if this has any effect on Chiz's level of healthiness in general. He ordered a month's supply.

Yeah. He's all in. So, I've been working him. So my house closes on Friday, which as we say, this is tomorrow. But a lot of you watching this will be yesterday. Hopefully everything goes smoothly. It should. And we cleaned out the whole house, painted every wall. Almost every floor or every single floor has been redone, actually.

All new carpets or like, you know, tile or whatever, hardwood floors, et cetera, in the home. But I didn't empty out my garage. I didn't really have a spot for stuff that I wanted to keep it in until this week. And we got all my woodworking stuff out of there. And it was a tremendous amount of work. And it wore Chiz out. Chiz is not an aerial guy. Sometimes I forget. I think he's just like me.

Either of us could do either thing. And then I'll see. I had a stool that I was standing on because I don't have a ladder anymore. I'm clearing everything out. I have limited tools and no ladder, etc. Then I saw him go up on a stool and then come down. And he did it kind of clumsily and it's like oh yeah he's clumsy when it comes to like ladders and scaffolding and stuff like that and um so i'm on a table taking all this lumber off and he's putting the lumber on the trailer and it i wore him out so i promise you guys i am physically

working the fuck out of chiz sexy chiz is uh is forthcoming nice you know what we were looking at i was with my dad day and uh he's about to build a fence and uh don't you get us out of yourself he had like but he had 50 of these uh round uh fence posts like the wooden ones like cedar and they look like they're presser treated or treated in some way they're kind of like that greenish tint to them um but but he's gonna make this fence and um and i was like you're not digging those holes by hand are you because i won't be helping you and i don't think anyone will and he's like no i'm trying to figure out what i'm gonna do he's like you know i've got this i've got an auger he's like but you know that it's it's too big and by the time you're done you still got to kick the dirt

in there and pack it and if it's a corner post you really don't have it firmed up unless you concrete it in and i really don't go through all that so i was like you need one of those machines that goes on the tractor and it's you know it goes it like hammers the thing in so oh yeah i've seen those i've seen them for the metal posts and uh i know that there's some sort of t post or something and there's a machine that puts those in but i haven't seen them before for the the big wooden posts that are you know like this big i think i have though yeah i i i looked it up i know exist, but we're looking for a way to rent one because, you know, you just need to put 50 of them in the ground. But so far, no good.

Haven't found a place we can do that. Let me see if I can help you with that. That would be cool, though, because I have, if you've ever dug a fence post hole, you know, you've got a thing you like. I don't know how to explain what it looks like. You have to dig it by hand and it's incredibly strenuous and do what a post hole digger looks like yeah all right this fucking nightmare it's awful it's it's one of the worst it's it's it's so much worse than digging a

hole with a shovel or something it's just the same repetitive motion it's exhausting and after five of them you're i'm worn out after like five of them if i do them by myself and they're big holes so this is the track this isn't what you asked for this is the tractor-based auger and then let me see see A fence post driver. What the... I don't know. I guess I should share my screen by the picture.

Do you know what this is? I'm clicking it now. I was still looking for pictures of Justin Bieber's dick. I thought you already got your fill. Oh, this thing that they've got? Yeah. It looks like a manual one. It looks like they're pushing a some sort of a weight up at the top and it's slamming down repeatedly on

an air-fence post driver. I bet it's one of those that uses propane, maybe. There's lots of different ways to do this. I saw one that looks like the manual one that you like hold on either side by handles and you It go it fits over the post and then you lift it up and and pull it down over and over It's like ding ding ding. I saw one of those that runs off of propane It's got like a piston inside that's being actuated and fired to to deliver the blow But that seems like it'd be better for steel posts the blow but it seems like it'd be better for steel posts.

Hmm well I thought I'd find it quicker I thought Sunbelt Rentals might have one but I can see why you didn't find it so easily it's not that easy. Yeah I um we called a place and and the issue isn't uh finding one it's it's renting one because i think it's an expensive piece of machinery and you just need it for a day so i'm into that i'm uh yeah it it looks like the one that i'm finding starts at two grand which he might find worth it i don't know yeah i saw one that you wouldn't be using that much after the first time. Well, farmers make fences. I mean, this isn't Kyle's first fence story. It's not, but normally he doesn't use wooden posts. I think he's putting this near his house or something, or he's putting it, I don't know where he's putting it,

but usually we use steel posts, and you can just push those in the ground with a tractor. The front end loader, just push it down? Yeah, just smush it straight into the ground, and it's in there. Fence post talk. Fence like their guests like a cool guy yeah yeah this story about the the giant Norwegian ladyboy lover that was pretty good I thought that became his name too I was like I guess you gotta kind of be careful what you say he's like oh yeah oh yeah I am I have a no i know chis would

hate me for doing this but somebody wrote me and here's here's a background people used to write me i use them all the time they're potential pka topics now 99 of the time it's like no ama is one of the patreon benefits i can't start giving it away to everybody if other people are paying for it. That's the thing. AMA's Patreon benefit. But this particular one I thought would make for a fun topic. Are you guys ready? Woody, long time fan of your videos.

Been watching since Black Op 1 and long time fan of PKA. I'm a first year electrical engineering student taking a course that gives an instruction to engineering, and in that class, I have two lab partners, one of which is Indian. And I gather he means the Asian kind of Indian, not the American kind of Indian. The issue is that he smells terrible due to the fact that he has terrible body odor. He also has a tendency to lean over when talking, which makes his body odor really noticeable.

Furthermore, he mouth breathes, which is an issue because his breath is horrible smelling. I work with him every week and he's in all my other classes. So if I said something, I worry that it would make any future endeavors with him awkward. So my question is, should I say anything to him about his B.O.? Considering you used to work with a lot of Indian people, maybe you've had this issue before. But he smells much worse than any of the other Indian people in my classes. Hopefully, this will be a PKA topic and any advice would be cool. I like that.

But I know you're a busy guy, so if not, I understand. Well, um... I like how he has a bar of comparison. My spreadsheet of Indian people and their relative smells shows that he is an outlier. He's like, look, I sat next to Patel for a whole semester and it wasn't anything like this. Dude, I've worked with a lot of Indian guys. I don't know why. It seems like there's a substantial portion of the Indian American population that doesn't think deodorant is a daily habit.

You can see it in the pit stains. And this all sounds very racist, but... It's not. It's a fact. Yeah, can we just admit that there are some cultural differences, right? If I said, like, you know, I've noticed that women tend to smell pretty and wash their hair a lot. And they also wear it longer than guys. Would you call me sexist? No.

Yes. It's true, though. I've ran into this so many times. And they have a very particular smell because of their diet that's common in their culture. And it is pungent and powerful. And it's the kind of BO that doesn't feel like he worked it all up today, right? It feels like it's layers of BO

that never go away. Like, yes, this is day five million. It's just every day a little stinkier. I worked at Cisco for 13 years. In that 13 years, the number of times I came to work without showering was zero. Fucking zero. You always

got cleaned up, deodorized, combed hair version of Woody. 100% of the time, would have kept it up for decades. You know? Wow. Just how I go. But I had someian guys where it seemed like no like shower every day

like all of the days yeah every fucking day you're a white collar employee you fucknard fucking shower before you come to work and um it's disgusting and i anyone who doesn't shower regularly i like i have i see you we all see you if you're one of the if you think you're getting away with it you're not you look greasy you look oily you look disheveled your hair is clumped in a way that shows me that yeah like that slept in it yeah woke up and and that's your night. Look at Kyle's hair. He showered. I fucking guarantee it. I can see. Twice! Twice! I shower

twice a day every day. My girlfriend sometimes takes four fucking showers a day between her workout and whatever else. Lots of showers. That's a lot of showers. You wake up, then she goes to the gym, and she comes back, she takes another shower, and then she goes throughout the day, and you know, maybe she goes outside,

and in any case, more the better. There should never be a day that passes in your life where you don't take a shower, and deodorant is mandatory. There is no reason not to use it, because there are so many different varieties that feel different ways. Yeah. Do you think you don't smell someone out there? Cause I think you do.

I think you fucking stink. I was at Walmart the other day and it was a white person in the frozen food aisle. And as we passed them, I started, I could smell this person from eight feet away. Like, like that's pretty right.

Almost a good three steps away. And I'm already smelling you and it's that directional smell where it's like oh yeah i'm smelling it right here it's it's there like you can tell like oh yeah that's it right fucking there you're the stinky one and you look at this person and clearly they were disheveled they hadn't washed they hadn't showered and what are you doing here why did you think you really needed frozen peas right now? I think you need to shower. It's disgusting.

It's disgusting in our society, at least. Like, if you're in some third world country or wherever, doesn't have regular access to running water, or maybe you have an excuse, whatever. Like, when we were in the woods, we all smelled pretty bad between our creek baths and everything else. There are cultures where they just consider a musk to be like a smell right like you know if your dog is really old it might smell bad and you're kind of like sorry

that dog's 13 you know like i smell wonderful and and and you could too and you could do that you're choosing yeah it costs like eight dollars to smell good a month like like you need a bar of soap some deodorant and some cologne like like you'll always smell wonderful and you could skip the cologne and the hair product if you just you just bathe like this is hygiene point out but what way is there to actually help this guy? If you are some, just quickly, if you're from another culture and now you're in America, you need to line up on this thing. This is non-negotiable. This is not an area where we're going to flex, right?

Bring your food. Your Thai food, your Indian food, your Mexican food. Bring it. We love you. You're doing a good job there. Don't bring your stink. Don't bring your stink don't bring your stink this is an area where you know we're melting pot we get a little of you you get a little of us

have some speed stick have some degree old spice we don't want to taste you in public i don't get it it's it's really easy and i don't know what the argument would be like like against it like i say to you hey excuse me i noticed that you were sweating a lot on this hot day and i can smell you really strongly man you know it's like body odor i can i can smell you from at my desk and it's not a good smell you know a little little right car deodorant here and and you'll smell nice like you won't smell like body odor you'll always smell like whatever is on this bottle and it could be anything these days you could smell like the beach or the pine forest or a pussy if you really want to and while i'll appreciate this you gotta know like the women here are gonna consider you a no-go until you

get this resolved yeah yeah if you had to ask i bet if we polled women and asked like like the things that would make you like like like immediately like, like cut loose and run like body odor has got to be right up there. Like a smelly. There's no way you can have any like romantic going on. Here's what I think. Here's what I think. I think if you asked women like, hey, what, you know, what would make a guy off limits to you? Some might say, well, a smoker. to you some might say well a smoker right i would

never date a smoker some might say well a guy who's too heavy you know i work hard at where i am right some would say clean teeth right that's the thing you know i didn't i i maintain this hygiene i expect a match i doubt they'd even say stinky guys because that's a fucking given that's right that's the bottom line yeah yeah that's it like get in the door right no one says like i need a guy who cleans every day what yeah that's what fucking humans do look i like a fancy guy i want a guy who wipes his ass okay and not with his hand either like he's got a clump of paper and everything It's my face and stuff hands all his limbs Be clean to be honest I would way sooner date a girl with a fake like left forearm than one that smelled bad and had hygiene issues

That's all right, so so what's worth? I'm trying to think what's worse like like what I would rather put up with than a girl with bo and i'm talking like i don't think i've ever smelled a girl's like strong bo that that was bad like i guess i have a little bit like but but nothing like a man like a dude yeah it's a whole different story like the girl's locker room doesn't smell like the guy's locker room it's true i was trying to so i've um i've rolled with women in brazilian-Jitsu, right? And this is girls at a full sweat, and you can't get any closer. No, no, no. They don't smell like guys. I think maybe they just don't have that. I don't know.

Even when I was doing that, I never smelled there. I noticed my training partner, you're all over this guy, right? You're as close to this other man as you as you are with your girlfriend i mean you're not you may not be making out with him but you're you're right there with your your head is right here in his neck your lips are on his neck dude a triangle choke is pretty much me choking you out with my nutsack i i mean a lot of the basic like positions resemble sex positions you're getting very up close and personal with this other guy

and I never felt like it was awkward I did it for what two or three months or something like that I never found it awkward at all it was like we were both understood what was going on we're learning like I'm eager to learn and so is he or whatever that sounds super gay right trying new things

expanding his boundaries yeah hold me hold me like this and i'll i'll hold you like that and that sort of thing but in any case like there were guys who smelled and there were guys who smelled good like like there was this one black guy who was a training coach he always had bo it wasn't overwhelming but he always had and i knew and he sweat he was one of those really profuse sweaters like it's just rolling off of training coach he always had bo it wasn't overwhelming but he always had and i knew and he sweat he was one of those really profuse sweaters like it's just rolling off of his glistening ass and he's rolling with me right so why why like how are you like working up a sweat like with me like like you're literally walking me through this because he was like a blue belt

or something but but still he was still glistening and he always smelled but like the white guy that i rolled with it because i always had to roll with some lanky ass tall fucker because that's what i am um he didn't smell at all and i was like i'm gonna match this i work i i would always like double up on the deodorant i'd put it in other places it might stink put some deodorant in your ass crack spray it back there there's no need to no need to smell. I'll put it everywhere. I never smelled once at that gym. During jits, I always felt like I came in clean. I came in top of the line clean. I would even have...

I noticed my instructor had dentine. It was just part of his thing. He always seemed to have dentine available, so I mirrored that. I had dentine. Same, yes. And I was clean. Dentine is... I don't know if that's international, but it's, it's gum. That's minty and makes your breath smell nice. And, uh, um,

I've forgotten that. I also, I also did you do that too? Yeah. Yeah. So I felt because dude, breath is as important as BO. Yeah. You're on the receiving end of it so much. You're like, Oh, I wonder if I'm doing that to people. So I would start at full cleanliness, but I'd work so hard and sweat so hard. Like as I'm putting my gi like back in the gym bag and like this thing is rank,

you know, you know why it's ranked though. It's not you. Like if, if you rolled, if you roll, if me, if you and I roll on a pristine surface,

I don't feel like we get all that gross. I feel like it's from being out there with people who aren't as clean as you who are all over that man. I know they the mats but still like after an at the end of at the end of an hour-long class they were dirty again maybe i because you know the the top of the is soaked it's noticeably heavier than it was like you know before the session and uh i just feel like on the you're rubbing off the floor you're. You're basically mopping a sweaty floor with your body for an hour. That's possible, yeah. So anyway, I do everything I can.

But I think if you're fighting, I always sort of – there was like an understanding. Like, you know what? We all want to enter this thing clean. But by the end of hour two, you're going to have to accept that people are sweaty now. I never did the second hour like concurrent hours but i saw the people who were doing two hours straight and they didn't care what anything smelled like like they it you know they're completely red faced like veins protruding in your in their neck lots of and you know the coaches like come on come on switch partners go

go go i did three hours so the first hour was the beginners class and they did like 20 classes and i would just take them again and again and again and again and they helped me a lot like that um for people out there who know jujitsu at all or brazilian jujitsu the basic stuff is super effective you know and to have your basics down is really good when they teach you like the fucking helicopter arm bar which is a thing where you put your feet on the guy's hips and twist them in such a way and have them land into an armbar that shit works like one in a hundred like a lot of the more sophisticated moves work against people who either aren't very good or the opportunities don't come up quite as often just like mortal kombat okay but um but the really basic stuff can kind of be forced, like just a regular gi choke, a regular guillotine, triangle, arm bar, etc.

That stuff, if you get sharp at that. So I would take the beginner course for years. No one else is a beginner in there. And that was the first hour. And then I'd take the intermediate course, which was two hours, because it had an hour of instruction, an hour of rolling. And that's what I did, three hours a day, three times a week for years. So what is our actual

advice to this gentleman here? Oh yeah. Should he tell the guy? I'd tell him. He could either just say it but if he's in every class it's going to be really awkward and uncomfortable. Here's what I'd do. Or you'd trick him. Kyle's going to be good at this.

I would buy him some deodorant and some soap. I would wrap it or whatever, and I would put a note on it that said, open when you get home, and a heart that was red, put it on his shit, walk away, and he would think that there was a girl who has a crush on him,

but she doesn't think he's smelling too good, and he would go apply those things. And if that doesn't work, then you guys are smelly, not retarded. You're not going to fall for this. What you should do is go up to him, and just in passing, just as like the first strike of attack, to like, you know, lay this down. You can go to more extreme measures if it doesn't work.

Just say, God, I was talking to fucking Steve or somebody, and somebody and god that guy have you smelled that guy you smelled steve he smells awful god like take a shower man am i right and then he'll sit there and be like yes yes i agree like then maybe he'll take a hint if not you can start like oh show it is unnecessary oh we're doing an American tradition, axe body spray fights. We do it every morning. Just douse him. To play it off. As funny as that is,

like, I think I've told this story before, but I still remember the night of the Halo 3 launch. I was at GameStop in in line and there was a real um kind of camaraderie going on because we were all in love with the game there had been this big build-up it was the third and final one as far as i'm concerned and and we all wanted to we all wanted this thing and we all loved it and they had multiple xboxes up so we're having like a tournament and we're all playing against each other and stuff and then we smell it this this this this dank bo just it culture race what

do you got white guy it's a white guy and it's that it's it's it's dirt and bo mixed together it's it's a dirty sweaty guy that's what it's not like georgia bo sure like like he smells like he he went out did a full day of manual labor hit the sack who gives a fuck woke up did it again and then continued that way for about a week and then came to get his copy of halo 3 he's got a big oh he's got a big coat on like a trench coat and you know it's like 2006 or something we were a little worried he's gonna shoot us um so and he just smelled so awful greasy hair and stuff and we were all complaining about it and i'm up at the front and like the guys that ran the place knew me or what i'm like that guy stinks and they go who which one is it and i'm like the big tall with the trench coat on i

was like it's i was like like, the one with the big space of no one around him, even though it's shoulder to shoulder in here. They literally started spraying Febreze as they were just walking throughout the store

spraying, it was Lysol. It was Lysol deodorizer. And when they got next to him, he just stopped and sprayed it straight up so it would rain down all over this guy.

And he covered him and fucking lysol he lysol a human being and i guarantee you didn't kill 99 of those germs you're taking a shower you fuck now you smell like clean linen dude i suffered with this guy's particular problem for years stinky co-workers and um a problem with that i had that he doesn't is it wasn't a pure situation right like as goofy and jokey as i am and like to be i'm also aware of the fact that i'm the boss and when i say things there's a certain gravity to it that uh you know don't fuck around with everything right you know

as a co-worker you can make a sex joke as a boss it might be taken differently you know they they it's all fun and games until you cross a line and that's a bigger deal something in like the cisco employee charter that says something about hygiene though right like i feel like i would look to that and be like and and take over the role of like superior or whatever and be like uh patel um we need to talk about your hygiene it's disturbing several of your other co-workers there have been complaints um they suggest that you wash up then deodorize that's not true that could be troublesome too making it up it will uh because if you don't we're gonna come around around with a bunch of white bags on our head, drag your ass to the car wash, and soap you up, motherfucker.

This guy is the one I'm thinking of. I'll do his first name, Atul. No, no, no. It wasn't Atul. That was my manager. What the fuck was this guy's name? Two horsepower pressure washer with your name on it, bitch. You better watch out next time.

I made myself the CEO of this company. I swear, his name was like a douche or something. I forget what his name was. And yeah, he smelled bad. Ayush? I don't know. And he had coffee breath too. Like an awful kind of rank coffee breath that was just ever present.

And you have to – Remember that scene in Rambo where they like forcibly washed him with a high pressure hose? You ever seen a Rambo where they forcibly washed him with a high-pressure hose? On the scale of bad-smelling things, B.O. is so much higher than bad coffee breath, unless the person's breathing directly into your mouth. It was bad. Because you can always offer them a mint. Yeah, yeah, I would do that. Here's the thing.

Everybody listening to this right now, try to ingrain this into your brain. If you are ever offered a mint or gum, accept it 100% of the time. Yep. 100% of the time you take, unless it's kind of a creepy guy outside a bar, then that might not be a mint. That might be LSD. 99. Well, if it's LSD, you can take that too. 99% of the time.

Who's going to give away like 30? I saw that the other day on Reddit. It was like a big pile of pills, and it was like something about anti-drug. And somebody was like, who would give away $400 worth of drugs? Or leave them lying around. But in any case, like, yeah, I can't put up with the BO. But the breath isn't as bad because you can always offer them an Altoid or some gum. It's acceptable to offer a solution to someone's breath problem like if you if they say hey man you want a dentine

and if they say no you can even be like you want a dentine yeah you know like if you guys were to say that to me like you know what it's for your best it's for your own good i'd be like thank you thank you for fixing that any issue telling someone if they have something in their teeth i see sometimes people are like some sometimes people can't do it uh now have you ever had a situation where there's a booger hanging from someone's nose and and you you can't tell them yeah i pull a little bit of my own booger out it's at least like solidarity i just reach over and pick it for them and make it fish Always get the really long like liquid one that all of a sudden like

Lay like shoots back to my face when I stretch it out real hard. And I feel like it's coming from back here somewhere in my eyeball. Those are so sad. I don't have a solution for this guy. For the breath thing, it's easy to solve. You can just hand him a mint or whatever. I stick by mine. I don't think the love letter is good.

But I think if you would. Drop the love letter. What if you would straight up be a bro? How would it go over if I was like dude just so you know like there's a smell coming from you that doesn't come from anyone else and i got you this you know it's a daily thing every time you shower use this and you'll smell great i would maybe not say it doesn't come from anyone else because once you've established that he's smelly you don't have to keep going like you smell horrible now let me stay on this topic for a minute because i don't think you never before in my life i have seen some shit i was in the nicaraguan death camps caps I worked in the septic systems of Guatemala for

three years but never never have I smelled this shit I love that he's constantly named Patel That's what they're all named Patel! if they were yakking about some white guys and how they always want to smell so nice and they're like yes mr. they always want to smell so nice, and they were like, yes, Mr. Smith. He says, oh, you must smell nice. And they kept calling us Mr. Smith. I wouldn't care. There are a lot of us that are named Smith.

Reddit person who I will keep anonymous, please write me back with this gentleman's first name. I want to know if it's Patel. Because there's a good chance. Oh, Patel should be his last name? I thought so. I thought Patel was the last name. I'm not even sure. I know in some places in India, they switch.

I knew a guy. He was second generation American, right? So his father was named Matthews Patel or something. And then so his name became Tom Matthew. And his kid's name would become something Tom. And that's just how they rotated it. Have you ever had to tell someone they smelled awful like in or at least imply to it like ever for real yes i mean i

should have i put up with it for a long time but i just suffered there's this kid in one of my classes in college and he would like i was friends with him he's this big heavy guy and he would come in and he did that thing where like he didn't a lot enough time in the morning for like his 9 a.m class it's like i'd wake up at 8 shower get ready and then leave after breakfast or tea or whatever he would just like shower at like 8 58 and then show up at like 903 and even though he had technically cleaned there was that post shower sweat that started to come on where you take a shower that's too hot and so he's sitting there, and he doesn't think he smells because he just thinks,

well, I didn't dry off very well. No, you're covered in sweat three minutes into this fucking lecture, and you are every morning. Wake up 50 minutes earlier and get rid of these post-shower sweats, because it's... yeah, that guy was gross. All I had... I just made a comment of like, what did I even say? Like... Did you just work out or something? Kind of, maybe a little snarky because he's really fat and so of course i knew we both knew that he wasn't working

you look really sweaty really cultivating a lot of mass um i stand by what i said maybe not a whole love note and becoming a fake girl or anything but but if you just gifted this thing to him you left it with his possession and his i don't know what your situation is you seem to have a lot of classes with him if you could sneak it into his back you know if he's got like a zipper bag or something unzip it and throw deodorant and soap in there put it you know put it daily i yeah yeah put it put a thing in there so like a nice note like i wouldn't want it to be cruel or mean but you know like

you should use this daily a friend and I would that's what it should say on there and I would just leave it with his things that way there isn't that awkward moment where he's like okay John I'm sorry that my smell offends you so much I guess I will

use whatever this is do I eat it or like put it in my ass or what do I do he comes to school the next day sneaking like shit but he's just pale as a ghost what happened he's like i hate the whole thing uh i've got a new topic all right all right so prepare as i gather some hate for myself i like the smelly dog yeah i enjoyed it too so here's the scoop uh i feel like every generation finds something to fuss about uh the younger ones, right? There's the me generation, etc. What I've seen now, and I fear that it's fostered by a lot of our leaders, is a lack of hope.

Like, if there is a message that I get from Bernie Sanders, it's that, like, there is no hope. Don't you see the rich are so rich that you can't be one of them? Don't you see that this can't happen? I remember I told my father-in-law I'd be a millionaire by 40. And I don't know if I hit that or not, but whatever.

I think so. You netted it, yeah. Yeah, I think something like that. But anyway, he would check up with me. Like, you still think you're on track? You still think you're on track? And I'm like, I don't know. I sure hope so.

I don't like your in-laws. I don't like how mean they are to you people. They're so mean. That's so mean. I could go on. You know the backstories. If you said that to my dad and the same and like he had the same relationship He'd be like I hear you brother. That's good. That's real good when you a young man like you thinking like that

That's what I like to see that's what he'd say He'd be getting behind you'd be like have you thought about doing this with your money We thought about doing that be careful about that like it'd be advice and like motivation and and I hate that He was like you on track? You still on track, Mr. Millionaire? I would like to think it was a little more supportive than that. He always thought I was doing good in my career. But it was somewhere in between where your dad would be and how you describe him.

But I liked him. I liked him a lot. But yeah, I've got in-law issues. Fucking in-law issues. So back on topic. I feel like there's a lack of hope right now. And I was talking on Reddit today or something. And someone's like, surely, Woody, you don't think you can just will yourself to be a millionaire anymore, do you?

And that is how you do it not put that simply but that's like overstating the simplicity of what you your idea behind the sentiment was to the point of it like a total straw man you know you weren't just saying like i'm gonna hope for money real hard my whole life and then maybe it'll work but like there's a difference between that and just knowing that you have to work hard for it i work with with a lot of companies that are like in the firearms industry that are kind of new and verging companies that have a new product that they've come up with or a new way to do things. And so I'm

oftentimes meeting guys who are self-made, like small businessmen who have come up with millions of dollars and stuff like that. You can do it. You just have to find your own way. There might not be an ABCD way to do it, but it have to find your own way. There might not be an A, B, C, D way to do it, but it's got to come from inside you. I know a guy, his invention is like he invented

high capacity magazines for certain guns and he invented a grenade launcher that shoots nets and now he's a millionaire. He worked at something, He had a passion for engineering and computer-aided drafting and all that stuff. He became an engineer. He worked at it, and he came up with a product. He got it on the market, and now he's a millionaire. There's a couple ways to do it. Like, there's more than one. There's, like you're talking about, people who have an idea, make a business, et cetera,

and usually, like, have an idea. Oh, well, shucks. I guess I'll just sit here watching Netflix until my idea hits me. Like, no, typically these people have a passion and have like an interest that's deeper than like the casual consumption vibe that you're into, right? You know, they're tinkering, et cetera. But you can do it. You can start a business. The other idea is to do it slowly.

I made a video on how to invest and, you know, that over 22 years and people say, well, Woody, I couldn't possibly set aside this much a month. Like, okay, I get that. For the first four years, if you drop that $1,000 a month to $500 a month while you're getting yourself on your feet,

then you become a millionaire. Instead of it was 22 years, it was like 25 like it was it wasn't even that hurtful um yeah it's you can save or you can come up with the blockbuster idea and pursue it so doggedly that you won't be denied um but i feel like now there's this culture and i'm sure there's lots of exceptions, but there's this culture of like, oh, it's now impossible. You know, like all middle-wage classes aren't going up like they used to be. It's getting crushed, etc. Let me tell you Bernie Sanders stat, right?

PolitiFact just talked about this recently. He was saying that like 99% of the wealth gain went to the top 1%. That is only true if you're a lying douchebag. I'll explain. It happened from 2009 to 2012. And if you remember, right, for whatever reason, the stock market, well, the stock market crashed, right? Like at the end of the Bush term and at the start of the Obama thing, you guys might remember McCain like pulled out of the race, like like i'm gonna stop campaigning to two weeks and fix the economy and he meets in front of the senate and like falls asleep because he's 123 years old and um uh and you know get him in a bamboo cage woody younger than bernie oh so uh um anyway no i don't know if that's true or not but anyway back on topic uh there was a huge stock market crash the bailouts all that stuff around like

2008 2009 and then the stock market recovered but the jobs didn't really come back the um the wages didn't really come back like this people job-seeking were in a really rough spot and profits kind of rebounded or perhaps the crash in the stock market was an overcorrection and then that just came back to more you know appropriately valued wouldn't the bailouts factor into this those billions of dollars that are being pumped into industry wouldn't wouldn't that like inflate these numbers as well they could be those were loans to banks to help them meet their thing maybe i know they also did a bunch of other things like section 179 deductions and shit but

um the point is the companies got profitable and their stocks went up but wages didn't and this happened from 2009 to 2012 now from 2012 present, the middle class is doing better. They are getting there's competition for employees again, whereas before there was only competition for jobs. And I feel like Bernie's kind of cherry picking his years. They're like, Oh, did you know that this has happened?

Yeah. Only for those, that particular subset of years don't act like it's the new normal. But, well, I, well, subset of yours don't act like it's the new normal but um i while i while i wouldn't argue that the middle class isn't as big and powerful as it once was and it's certainly a lot harder to achieve the

american dream than it once was it seemed like um you know a work there was a working wage at one time where like one provider could go to a manual labor job and somehow support a family and a house and have a car and all those things. While that seems much more difficult now, I don't, I think it's ridiculous to say that like you can't go out there and make it on your own because it's just like, well, you know, if it's 20% harder, you have to work 20% harder, whatever it may be. Like, it's just a matter of if you're, if you're going to do it or not. I feel like there's lots of trajectories to hit that mark. I was watching this Casey Neistat video. And while I have a slightly different twist on it, and I might make my own version, he held up these cardboards.

And he's like, the only thing between you and your goals, and he puts a third one on there, is doing it. And while that's a little simple, it's like there are a lot of people complaining that they could never get their goal, but they're not doing any steps to do it. And I, maybe it's just the young people I find on the internet or, you know, whatever. It's like, do it, be a doer, be a thing, be a maker, be a happen happener like there are so many people buying into this idea that like well i can't go to college because there's a hundred thousand in debt horseshit i can't start a business because you know i just i don't have it you can't do that anymore horseshit say stuff like that pointed like i'll have two hundred thousand dollars of college debt if i decide

to go, so just throw the rest of my dreams in the toilet. And internet forums where you're going to see comments like that, everybody already has their mind made up, and they're just going to make whatever their position is just unassailable by making it seem so unrealistic. And I don't know what their alternative is. It's like, oh, it's so hard to do anything. Okay, so bank robber then? Is that your next move?

Or are you really gonna wait for that gravy train to show up because even if you elect bernie sanders and even if he wants to do all those things he promised and even he can do them you're gonna starve by the time that motherfucker starts paying your bills dude you better start working like yeah you can't be waiting for that i i don't understand i see i see that there's a lot of negativity there and i understand like the numbers are different than they once were. It's not the 1950s. It's a different economy.

I feel like people lean on that as an excuse, as a reason not to try it. It is an excuse. It shouldn't be a reason not to try. But I don't think it's fair when sometimes you've got baby boomers say, well, I did it. I did this and I did that. I did this. sometimes you've got baby boomers say, well, I did it. I did this and I did that and I did this.

And it's like, well, yeah, you were in a post-World War II economy where most of the industrialized nations in the world had just been destroyed by you and your friends. Everybody needed your incredible manufacturing because you're not building B-17s anymore. You can build anything you want. Of course, it's a perfect storm for a magical economy and that's the the united states in the 50s so but it it's not fair to compare that to like these millennials now who are you know i they have some they have some strong points there

but i don't think it's a reason to throw your hands up in 2045 they're going to be saying oh my god it was so easy back in 2015. Like the internet was new. All you had to do was make a social app and everyone would start taking pictures or sending tweets or this and that. Today, the internet, it's not like it was. It is so – what do they use for the Call of Duty market? Saturated, right? The internet is completely saturated.

The businesses are all created. All you can do is – I don't know if they'll say that then i think it's fair to say that now about the early internet i think we all know that like like yeah it seemed like there was a time and at that time i knew nothing about the internet i don't think i had a computer but i just kept hearing about all these dot-com companies that were just really just registered domains that were that were worth millions. And these companies were being valued in the millions. And they had like eight employees. Companies were solving tech problems that it took the greatest minds to solve.

Right? Now I can literally put shit in the cloud and have someone else deal with all my infrastructure. Back when, I'm trying to think of an old one, MySpace was up you know they had to solve scalability issues that had never been solved before back when ebay was going it was like how they do that we'd look at amazon i remember google maps when google maps started using ajax which is how they like um ajax i forget what it stands for but it's something javascript exchange or who the fuck knows. I used to. And it used to be everything on the Internet was kind of form-based.

And a lot of it still is. Like you type, it sends it there, they send it back, etc. I remember TV companies would have remote controls on the Internet. And you literally would type like 1, 3, and then hit submit. And that's how it worked. And everything on the Internet was just submit. And google maps comes along or google type ahead like as i start typing star it types a head ship and shows me all these things like you're not hitting any every keystroke is sending back and forth with google maps like i'm dragging it and it's repainting

the thing that was huge there they were solving problems that had never been solved before whereas today i feel like a lot of internet companies are new ideas but existing solutions asynchronous javascript and xml thank you asynchronous javascript that's a mouthful so um uh anyway if i could get just a couple people it would be be worth the rant to say, you know what? I am going to do it. I've got a dream. I've got a thing. Whether it be an early step like education or a late step like starting your business or pursuing your idea or just whatever you're kicking around telling yourself you can't do, just fucking do it.

Stop listening to people tell you that there aren't opportunities anymore because there completely are i think it's going to go the complete opposite direction of what you said earlier where in like 10 or 15 years everyone in i guess me and kyle's generation people i guess millennials that's born after 81 right but anyway so they're going to look back and talk about how they survived you know this terrible era and how all these new kids nowadays have no idea what it was like for us it was way harder and like i can see a flip going on you know where it's everybody's gonna think that it was so much harder now than it really is now because it's gonna be overshadowed

by when it does get better in the next few years dude no because when i was young they were saying there were no opportunities then too it and that was the dot-com days you know it was it was too late it was every i i can't remember a time when they didn't act like you know the 50s were the area that we or era that we wish we were in except for probably the 50s it's never going to catch up to the 50s, though. It was just, like you said, the perfect storm of opportunity everywhere. I don't even know. That was long before I was born.

Like, was it that good? Yeah. For all those reasons I mentioned. Just watch Leave it to Beep. So, you know, we had crippled all these other major economies. Even the Russians, you know, they were all fucked up. Everybody was in a bad spot except for us, really. You know, the war had touched them.

We were over here in North America all safe. Nobody was hitting us. Nobody was destroying our factories, bombing our people. I bet everyone smelled bad. No. No. Everybody smelled like apple pie and baseball. Baseball stinks.

We talked about this once before, but whenever I look at one of those old-timey photos, and so I learned this recently, it used to be that your status was really implied by how you dressed, which is why so many guys had, like, suit-like things and pocket watches and stuff like that even if they weren't rich they were trying to look rich whereas now rich people walk out in flip-flops and t-shirts and they don't even naked if justin bieber there's nothing fair point so uh but i look at them there all these guys in the 1920s with their pocket watches and their vests and their little round hats. Or if they deliver baseball, I'm sorry, newspapers, the Chiz hats. I bet they all smelled bad.

It's just sweaty. There's not much air conditioning in the world. I'm sure they had some sort of deodorant powder. They had ice boxes for their food yeah oh that would smell bad like in the south everybody's got those big thick three-piece suits on all day and if they're not actually rich they're not like rotating into a new suit every day what's a seersucker kyle i'm not a proper southerner what is a seersucker seersuckers uh as far as i know it's a kind of uh fabric like it's not a kind of fabric it's like like the way corduroy is a different like fabric uh friend i

had a seersucker shirt and it's got like these little uh like dimples all over it in in the fabric i i don't know how to describe it you make a suit out of it oftentimes right like i want to say my friend wore a seersucker suit to a wedding. He wasn't getting married. Maybe that's a style of suit. I'm not familiar with it, though. Google will know. Let's see. I had a seersucker shirt once. I just recall that.

Huh. I don't think these look half bad. Maybe they'll come back. I'll give you a link. See what we're dealing with. I think they look pretty snazzy. I think the seersucker part is the fabric, though, not necessarily the cut. Although they all do seem to be this light blue, lame-ass color.

Like your Andy Bernard going to... Oh, so it's like a stifled finish. It looks a little tight. Like I'm looking at these things, and I just feel like I'm seeing packages, packages everywhere. Lots of bow ties out there too, Nard Dog. Like look at this guy's...

Oh, you can't see what I'm showing, but here for the audience. Those guys' pants. I'd be bulging in a lot of these pants Okay, seersucker is a thin puckered the puckered part is the thing I was thinking of all cotton fabric commonly striped or checkered used to make clothing for spring and summer wear So these are spring summer wear suits Yeah, I am noticing a lot of bow ties in all these yes you look like a real

asshole in today's day and age if you're walking with a bow tie not many guys like Bill Nye the Science Guy and Doctor Who those the only people who should be wearing a bow tie like it comes off as trying to be too ironic where it's like do you get it I don't really think it's cool like have you ever tied one like the whole process is silly. I have tried. I have one in there for some reason that I have worn. No, I haven't even worn it once.

I put it on one day because I was going to wear it as the ironic thing. I looked at myself in the mirror and I'm like, are you going to leave the house like this, you fucking 19-teens comedian attempting person? Take it off. I don't even think any of the tuxedos I've worn had a bow tie. I think I always went with the tie instead.

I think my tuxes had a bow tie, but they were like clip-on bow ties. Clip-on bow ties. I don't think I had the tie in. I think I just had to adjust the size and hook it or something. Oh, yeah. I know what you're talking about. Yeah, yeah. I've seen those. But I'm pretty sure I always had the tie.

I think I did that, if I remember correctly. But it's been a long fucking time since I've worn a tux. Yeah, I haven't worn a tux in a while. I could use a new suit. We should go down to Thailand, get you a new suit, and try out the wears. Looking at topics what do I have lined up for us anymore up I was looking on there earlier I shouldn't close out of all the whoo okay question this is a good one but not funny so was on the PKA subreddit from 10 days ago.

You guys might remember it. My hometown was struck with a tragedy this morning when a student had been punished for smelling of marijuana at a homecoming proceeding to commit suicide this morning. Did we do this on PKA yet? No. For those who don't want to read the image, here's it linked. I'll type it out.

From one of the fellow students punished. Today, our family of hometown has lost a loved one. Hayden, rest in peace, was a great student in class, a determined athlete, and a wonderfully friendly human being. He was a faithful friend and is someone who everyone enjoyed to be around. We must never forget the type of person he was and the character he possessed we must remember that everyone's lives matter even a joyful loving kid can be in a dark mental place writer is a student from hometown he's got like parentheses and stuff and was involved in the same disciplinary issue at hayden as hayden at homecoming a group of kids were accused of smelling at of marijuana at a dance A group of kids were accused of smelling of marijuana at a dance.

This group of kids was made up of six honor students who were involved in sports and great members of our community. What followed was a two-week suspension from school, possible criminal charges, suspension from all sports, and a loss of driver's license. I was exposed to things that I will never want to see again when I was in the room where we were taken. We were questioned without our parents present, and they forcibly took my keys and searched my car. When I stood up for myself and asked if they had the right to do this, I was told, It's cute that you think you know your rights. Hayden was looked in the eyes and verbally attacked by the principal, assistant principal, and police officer.

He was directly told that he had ruined his life by our school administrators. The students were told that they would fail their classes, ruin their academic careers and made the biggest mistake of their life. A minor issue was turned into a life-changing catastrophe by these neglectant, negligent and vicious men. Excuse me. As a family,

we know that lives matter, but in my opinion, they do not matter to principal, assistant principal, and officer. These are repeat offenders and have been antagonizing and trying to bring students down for years. We must open our eyes. These men must be no longer part of our family. I can only bring this to the PKA group because I'd like to hear their stance on how the administration handled it. The student's action to commit suicide can't be questioned as nobody knows what happened in his head but the takeaway so much from the smell of marijuana and no evidence seems a bit harsh berating the children is quoted is way over the line as an alumni at the same high

school i can attest to the fact that the assistant principal was nothing but an asshole my entire four years there hopefully this makes the show if not hopefully everyone gets to read and opens their eyes a bit thank you for your time and then he links an image to the what i guess is like a newspaper article to it uh it's a letter yeah there's really who would defend these people like for that yeah i guess there's some i um i will say we've only heard one side of the story. So that's a thing. But some of it doesn't sound completely made up. Like the quote of, it's cute that you think you know your rights. And the general attitude of kind of bullying the students, right?

Like if you're going to punish a kid, I feel like you should be shepherding them toward that punishment by the book not some sort of like you fucked up now you failed all your classes you'll never get into college this is the biggest mistake of your life yada yada yada like fucking psychopath enjoying ruining people is what it sounds like hot on him and it was just a smell that's what i don't get like how could there be any criminal charges if you just smell oh you know yeah someone was smoking out in the parking lot and i kind of walked through a big cloud of it gross or don't even say that just say i don't know what you're smelling i don't smell like marijuana like there's no evidence there's how would that second one would be super powerful i think like i don't, I don't know. I don't know. I don't smell that.

Skunk outside. I don't know what marijuana smells like, Mrs. Johnson. How do you know what marijuana smells like, Mrs. Johnson? Have you been smoking, Mrs. Johnson? Because that could ruin your life. It causes memory loss. You might not even know. Not to switch topics, but there was a question in the Democratic debate about having smoked marijuana. And it was something, I forget the question, but it was like, you know, so-and-so did marijuana.

And then Anderson Cooper is like, like probably everyone in this room. And everyone's like, yeah, marijuana. You know, like they were going off. Like, dude, it is, I don't want to say it like some sort of everyone's doing it join in kids um but goodness gracious like from the reaction in that room every presidential candidate's done it like i feel like non-marijuana smokers are really rare yeah gotta be a real stick in the mud i would think so like to like being you've been saying just say no since like 1984 since the reagan administration or some shit like i mean

and you notice that none of those potheads in high school ever like died or anything and like they're still around smoking pot like like like they you know they got a little chubby but that was kind of the end of it i i think you you look at people like uh willie nelson and the incredible the large amount of pot that he's snoop dog yeah those guys who smoke like that's your case study right there in my opinion like the guys who are like to excess in a way that you couldn't even if most people couldn't even afford to be like when when snoop dogg is smoking $1,000 of weed a day or something like that, and I'm making that number up, I doubt that.

I've heard he smoked like 90 blunts a day. I don't know if a blunt is... Sounds awful. Let's just say the blunts are 2 grams apiece. That's 180 grams divided by 28. I don't know, 5. That would be 140. That's a shit load.

Pot people are hilarious when it comes to pot. Right? Math gets way better. Completely worthless everywhere. But all of a sudden, they're like, oh, do you need to make it? They're MacGyver when you need a bong. You don't happen to have a paper clip, a bubble gum wrapper, and a fucking, like, I don't know, old cup of gold coffee cup or a solo cup. Do you have an apple or a Gatorade bottle?

Yeah. Just an apple. An apple and a Bic pen? Yep. I had a friend who was really high, and he thought, like, he knew about, like, the smoke kind of an apple trick this is like probably high school and he was convinced he was like man i'm gonna core out the middle of the banana and i'm gonna use that to smoke instead so i get like the actual piece and like i i didn't smoke because i was like i don't know if that's gonna work work. Go for it. And I watched him.

This is going to be cool if it works. And it just like melted the whole like area of banana into like a soupy green nasty mess. And he got like hot banana innards in his throat. It didn't work that way, man. On the bright side, I got so goddamn much potassium in my system now. I won't get a cramp for a year. He ends up getting addicted to bananas. He's smoking a bunch a day. You got any plantains?

You got any plantains? Call me Mama Chiquita. I don't know what to say about this article, though, this thing that the guy wrote. I forget where. I think there was a rape thing in the news a year ago or something, and the guy's like, dude, there's no one on the other side of this issue. No one's pro-raping.

And I feel like here it's like, dude, there's no one on the principal's side, assuming that what he wrote here is at all representative of like a fair and balanced report uh you know if they really are these douches then goodness gracious like it i everyone knows i tried to commit suicide when i was a teenager and um the thing that brought me over the edge was the loss of future, right? I was completely convinced that my bad grades meant that I was going to have an awful life,

that there was no recovering from it. And, and that's why I was like, Oh, that's just, I don't know what happens next. It might be nothing. Maybe I roll the dice and reincarnate and take another run at this thing where I don't fuck it up so badly.

But clearly, the road I'm on is beaten and potholed and shitty. And I almost felt like someone with a terminal illness. What lays in front of me is all bad. Maybe assisted suicide. me is all bad, maybe assisted suicide. If I was 85 years old and diagnosed with something, there was just going to be a long, slow, painful death in front of me, assisted suicide might be my first option. As a teenager with bad grades, I felt like my situation was analogous to that. I felt like there was nothing in front of me but just pain and awfulness. And that's because my father, while good intentioned, would use that as his motivating tool. Like, nothing good is going to happen for you.

And I was like, ah, fuck it. Let's start over. I can see how maybe a situation like this where they just, the kid thinks his life has been taken away from him. That he's failing all his classes. He's no longer going to school. What did they say was in his future form? It was ruined. Yeah.

The students were told they would fail their classes, ruin their academic careers, and made the biggest mistake of their lives. Somewhere else it mentioned they were going to take their driver's license away. Like, oh, here it is. Two weeks suspension from school, possible criminal charges, suspension from all sports,

and a loss of driver's license. Like, it's like vindictive, mean, awful shit. I can see why that kind of punishment to a short-thinking teenager might make him think like, oh, well, fuck. There's nothing good for me from here on out. It was a good 17 years. But the next 60-ish?

Yeah, 77, we'll say that. The next 60 will blow. So let's just kickstart this thing and try again. I just don't like how the cops can do like the the bs threats of like you know oh this is life ruining you're gonna be in prison next to a kitty diddler like you're you're real fucked up now and they can just say whatever they want and to a kid like you believe them because you're taught to believe like you know police they can't lie to you really like they have to be honest like remember that stupid thing as a kid you're like are you undercover as a cop i asked you so you have to tell me it's like oh

you caught me you know but it's i don't know that that bothers me more than anything about it even though it's fucked up the punishment but like the whole you've ruined your life you you're done you're no college will accept you no women will love you you're a loser forever now like that's what a cop is there for at all yeah cops like that should be fired i think if this is half true everyone in the position of authority should be fired i want robo cops i think we should get rid of all the human beings we've got in control of authority over us and and get a fleet of robot men that'll be infallible and all-powerful yeah like judge dread that was a person though that was a robot judge dread which is a robocop we've come full circle remember that robocop video that i showed you when you're at my house

where he's just blowing the dicks off left and right i saw that yeah that's great so they like so there's a scene in robocop where he stops a rape and the way he does it in the end is the guy takes the woman hostage he's holding her in front of him he's got a gun to her head and he shoots between her legs through her dress and shoots him in the dick and that was the end of the story but these guys made an extended version where like rapists come from everywhere it's like it's like there was a giant raping gang knocked over the ant hill of rapists they're like crawling over fences it was like that scene in the matrix where he's like more and like all those agents Smith's come it was like that with rapists and there's like random women around to be raped and these guys have their

dicks out like all of them have their dicks out then they're like flopping dicks everywhere and robocop you know you mean a robocop he's like a late he's like a he's a machine literally so he's an incredibly accurate and he's got that three round burst almost like machine gun pistol that he carries around and by the end middle the video, he has one in each hand and he's just doing that thing where he's spinning around John Woo style. And it's just close-ups of dicks exploding

and just flying apart with blood packs and dick heads exploding and all the guys are holding their groins and on the ground crying. And then the master rapist, he comes out of nowhere and his dick is enormous. he's got a giant cock and he's like do it and Robocop blows his dick off too and then he gets in his car and drives away and that's the whole video it's hilarious actually at the end he at the end he suggests the women that they uh go to a rape

counseling uh and then he drives away uh without you know but he's a little off like 50 dicks it's great i've got it i've got a topic yeah so now i need to really fix the uh the i remember this this is an easy one really all right so hold a minute. I really gotta fix everyone's screen. The work's already been done for us. They already lined them up in the correct order. You think? Alright, so Mirka just left.

But I can still fix his camera. I don't know. I'm looking again because it's on my PC instead of my phone now. Um... One, two... Oh, that's a hard one. Nah, I'm going to... I can't even take a look yet. I will in just a second.

Yeah, I'll wait for you to get yours up for them before I start. I haven't stacked ranked them. I didn't even think to stack rank them. I just thought just a second. Yeah, I'll wait for you to get yours up for them before I start. I haven't stacked ranked them. I didn't even think to stack rank them. I just thought to pick one. So I'll do that next. So that's definitely five. That's definitely four. Hmm.

Okay. All right. Fixed. mmm okay, fixed looking at the camera, nothing's cut off alright alright, so the two on the left no way are they in the proper order the two on the left, I feel like can immediately be shifted to numbers four and five the one on the far left is the worst looking

the one on the far left is the worst looking the one one on the far left is the worst looking. The one just to the right of her is number four, in my opinion. Like the fourth worst looking chick. So then it's determining numbers one, two, and three. So you've got the red bikini, the yellow bikini, and Miss America over there. Now at first glance, I was like, I said, okay, red bikini. I said Miss America's number one, yellow bikini number two, and red bikini number three. But then I started looking at red bikini's face,

and she's really pretty. Although, yellow bikini is really pretty too in kind of a different way. But then I looked at Miss America over there, and she's got kind of a hot thing going on too, and her hair looks really great. But I think in the end, I'm going to have to... She's my favorite. Who? Miss America. Hmm. hot thing going on too and her hair looks really great but i think in the end i'm gonna have to who miss america in the end i decided that red bikini is the best looking one i go with her as

number one so miss america is aging in her face already yes that is the that's the problem that's the only thing well also i i don't know that I like her boobs that much. I assume they're bolt-ons, right? Those are fake. Miss America has fake boobs. I don't see any of them that I would definitely say are real. I think they're all fake. Well, maybe Miss America doesn't have the kind of work that the other ones do.

I think you're getting a view of her middle cleavage. have as as the kind of work that the other ones do right they well it's it and i think i think you're getting a really a view of like her middle cleavage like like her broad i don't think her top fits her particularly well um and the way the bottom doesn't fit under and stuff it's you remove her top and it looks exactly the same and that doesn't seem quite right well so i looked at their lower bodies here to make my decision and I felt like the only thing that keeps yellow bikini from being number one

because her face is perfect in its own way. Yep. Like she has a particular look. She has a good jawline. Yeah. Yeah. Although I feel the same way about red bikini. Her face is perfect in its own particular way.

I'll tell you, second from the left is pretty too. I feel like she doesn't have the most flattering angle, and she's kind of off to the side, and I think that's hurting her rank a touch. I think it is too. But if you were to just have them walk around and stuff, I like her height.

I think the height is nice, actually. I'm sorry, Woody, but you need to scroll down and look at her feet real quick. Really? Oh. Yeah. She's wearing wedges. I'm having a hard time. And all the other women. Okay, so. Oh, wait, maybe if I

shrink it a touch. Oh, I'm just hitting plus. Everybody is either, the three on the right are all barefooted. The one on the far left is wearing flip flops and the one that's the tallest is wearing I don't know what you call those wedges or something, but she's got like a good

two and a half inches of lift on her, so gotta discount that. I can't show anything below their calves to the thing. My screen cap, it's more 16 by 9. I don't think she's too short, but I don't think that we can use her height as a positive for her because it's not 16 by 9 oh maybe no I don't think she's too short but I don't think

that we can use her height as a positive for her because it's not real there I figured it out now they can see their feet um and you know so let me look uh I believe you're mostly right. I do think that she's taller, that that's not completely wedge. Everybody else is flat-footed, though. Yeah, the tallest one is probably the far left. But if I look at her compared to Pink, I'll call her two, this one there. If I look at two compared to Pink, I think she's more than the wedge. She's taller. But she definitely isn't what I thought

she was. I would disagree about that. I think she's about the same as Mrs. Pink in height. But my decision came down to this. I looked at their lower bodies. Miss America only drops out because of the aging in her face, quite honestly. Now the the red bikini looks very fresh faced and her her hips

and her uh and her thighs are very shapely so are her calves and uh the yellow bikini just can't say the same she's oh she she does her legs aren't as nice her calves aren't as nice from what i can see but definitely her hips and her thighs so red bikini is number one best looking yellow bikini is number two miss america is number three it's a shame that number two uh the one wearing the shoes took that particular angle because she yeah dude i think number two might be the best i think her legs stack up just fine against anyone else in there i think um her boobs stack up well against anyone in there is it weird that pink's boobs have a big gap in between them what are we to make of that are she the only natural boobs in there what are are we to make? Maybe just the way her top fits.

Not holding them together. It has to be the top and the different tits. I mean, look. Yellow's tits are together because they're so goddamn big that they have no choice to. That's one thing. Yellow's tits are this big each. It's hard to tell. They're big.

Yeah, you're right. Look at how far to the left they go. They go from the center of her chest to her bicep. Yeah, and that's a human. That's big. You know what? It might be weird, but Yellow's rib cage is pointing out, and I don't know. It's hot.

It's like collarbones. I agree. You don't think of it as a super hot thing, like, oh, yeah, you really want to see some ribs. But something about, yeah yeah they're all fit like there's none of them that i think need to lose even a pound um i think they're all really fit yeah um it's the one on the left is clearly just not very pretty like something about her face uh it is a real turn off she might do makeup the most poorly but i also think she's just not very pretty number two it's it's her lips and her face structure it's her lips her nose her eyes

her forehead it's her face it's it's her head she's got a bad head she's got a bad head what can i say all around all right the rest isn't that great either there's definitely an argument to be made for any of the other four, except for maybe Miss America. Really? Yeah. I would say the middle three are... All right, so now I've figured out my four and five. Five is far left. Four is Miss America.

Now I have to stack rank the middle three. I like Miss America's tan line on her bikini. I think that's hot. Yes, I do like that. I also like that it has a little more pizzazz with the outfit. The only one that's not really bland. I don't know. The red bikini is cut so low, and so is their all cut.

I stand by my numbers. I think red bikini is number one, yellow is number two, Miss America is number three, followed by the girl with the shoes on and the girl with the bat head. Sorry, so five is, to me, far left. Miss America is four. And then I look at the middle three. And it's funny,

because I'm trying to stack rank who's prettiest, and while they don't look like each other, they're all really pretty. Yeah, in their own way. Yeah. That's also like the mermaid effect, you is that what it's called or like when you see a big group of women the cheerleader effect like the cheerleader effect you're right yeah you're more likely to think they're all more attractive than they are in a group no i i think the one on the left is is

she looks like she looks like a cheap like stripper or something like like there's a girl she's just not attracted to me I wouldn't fuck the one on the left I wouldn't I would the others I certainly would but the one on the left I would be kind of like I wouldn't pursue that girl she doesn't she's too ugly but you would given the opportunity just this well I mean if I wouldn't put any effort into it but if she was down well i mean if if if a monkey was down i'd risk i'd risk catching siv i'm just saying um i wouldn't pursue or or date a girl who looked like the one on the left the three middle are so perfect i'm gonna go to the next step i think the one in the yellow might be the dirtiest sure yeah so that's my top pick right

there and i think the one in the let's see of the other two which one would be the prudiest the most frigid i guess that's the girl term i don't think any of these girls are frigid no maybe miss america giant these girls all went out and got giant breast implants and then and they go out and hang out in bikinis with their other giant tittied friends like i don't think there's any prudes here these these chicks are uh god i'm still going with yellow is my number one pick uh her eyes are a little too smoky but whatever she's still really pretty and that's a temporary thing plus i don't think the number two is too smoky in the eye and she might be more smoky oh we gotta fix the camera um

well shit for lack of a better i guess i'll just decide now number five is Far Left. Number four is Miss America. Pink is my number three. Number two is my number two. And number one is in the yellow. That's what I'll go with. It's a tough one. I like this because there was a subreddit, like, which would you choose or something like that. And it always seemed like there were clear answers. Yeah, I think you did a pretty good job with that,

with your analysis of it, but I don't rank America as low as you. I don't either. I think we all know that the one on the left is just kind of, she's the ugly chick of the crowd, definitely. But I feel like on a scale of 1 to 10, this is Woody's thing where I actually rate where they stack rank amongst

the genuine population kyle is your camera turned off um it shouldn't be oh mine is yeah it's it's acting like you didn't press it there it is so hopefully you guys come back eventually can you see me uh nope but i can see kyle he's just dark and that'll fix itself but anyway back on topic. All of these girls. The far left one is hotter than 80% of the world. Yeah, but

She's an 8. And the others are all like 9.5. But she's, like, I don't know. If I go to the strip club, the one on the left is the ugly stripper. I mean, she's just, she's always No, there's always some stripper who's not in shape or something on the wrong fucking strip club though i'm not going to many at all really or any i don't know but i just don't ever really go um i don't like to go but i've been a few times i went to one in cincinnati that had two floors and the strip

pole went into the second floor so there were girls on the second floor who would come spinning down a pole and appear from a hole in the ceiling. And, you know, they're spinning as they come down, and I just remember this giant plexiglass high-heeled shoe comes flying at our table and hits our drinks and everything. That was a nice strip club. So I liked the one in the red a lot. Yeah, exactly. It was exactly like a fire pole.

So I like the one in the red a lot. Yeah, exactly. It was exactly like a fire pole. I mean, I don't like the giant fake tits, to be honest. But I'm just going off of the faces, really. Because their bodies are all pretty much equal. I mean, more or less. Yeah, it's hard to pick. The red ones, I feel like a little hippier than the other.

But they're all good. You know, it might be easier to stack rank them if we had another picture from behind yes oh well see that i was inferring that the one of the red had a better yeah the one of the red i think has the better ass of them all you know who i think has a really good ass uh two in yellow two in yellow yeah miss america probably does too that might i might raise your ranking ratings would be totally different if it was a reverse photo murca i think your camera's not turned on might have a great ass there's no way of knowing yeah well i'm glad we did that i had seen that

picture before dude i had another topic i wanted to do i might even close the show yeah we're pretty deep into it but um ah what the hell was i going to talk about next there was the girls i'm losing it um i don't remember oh well it's gone uh taylor have you watched narcos um not much no you watch the whole episode yet one episode yeah one episode it's good Taylor, have you watched Narcos? Not much. No. You said you only watched one episode. Yeah, one episode. It's good.

Yeah. I watched the first episode and I liked it a lot. I'm definitely going to continue. I've always thought the story of Pablo Escobar was really cool. I saw this thing called Killing Pablo once, which is all about how they went after him and hunted him down. And it detailed just how wealthy and powerful the guy was. It's incredible the amount of power and wealth that he had in Columbia. Just the billions of dollars and cash. He killed like 500 policemen, they said, I think, throughout his career.

He controlled the rest of them. I feel like his forces like invaded the congress or something with tanks and went in and took a lot of them hostage like that that's gonna be a cool show i'm looking forward to i mean it's already out i know the order it is i i've only watched about an hour of tv in the last two weeks now i don't think i'm lying it was scandal the tv show and i watched like half an hour of it And then just recently I watched the second half of it. But mostly it's a bunch of lawyers, except that they're not working like as lawyers anymore.

They're like problem solvers now or something like that. And they deal with like high government officials. And the head one in particular is supposed to be some legend like lawyer superhero and uh she ruined some person's life because some politician didn't want to be found out as gay and uh i would just basically after my my opinion after one episode is this is cookie cutter Hollywood drivel, just absolute TV bullshit. You could make it NCIS, Law and Order, or whatever. Procedural drama.

Procedural drama. You just know every hour is going to wrap up whatever little puzzle they introduced, and it's fuck it. I'm not watching anymore. It's always by the numbers. It's like you know what's coming. It's so formulaic. That's why I can't stand

most television. I really want to... I like shows where they surprise me and I don't see stuff coming. I like Battlestar Galactica a lot. Did you ever watch that? That's really good. I've watched it. There's a lot of bad content for that, too. A lot of extra content after the fact.

There's a spinoff, the Razor thing, and then there's Caprica. I didn't care for any of that. I feel like I watched Caprica. I watched, and I liked it. Battlestar Galactica, it was really good. It was really good. I remember TV Guide called it the best show on television when it was at its height have you seen all of firefly oh yeah well there's only one season

and the and the movie that's why i phrase it like that yeah yeah i saw that too um i love the movie sometimes i i haven't done in a while but i used to just take the movie and watch the closing scene, which is amazing. I like Summer Glau. She's the messed up chick. Yeah. A cool little thing from her. Why do I think her name is River? Because that's her character's name.

Oh, you're going by the actress. Okay. Yeah. So Summer Glau used to do ballet or something. And so she's incredibly flexible. So you see her at one point, she's doing that move where they're up on the ceiling, cramping themselves above.

It allows her to... Okay, I didn't know that in real life she did ballet. But yeah, the character also did ballet. And it's demonstrated in her badassery. It's really good, Firefly. i feel like firefly is not an internet secret there was a it's not there was a fox uh series called the sarah connor chronicles which was like a prequel of the terminator um it wasn't a prequel it was kind of like it was a new imagining it was kind of like in the middle of the movies and sarah connor was actually played by

the same lena head heady i think who plays uh the evil queen in game of thrones also king leonidas's wife in the 300 movies but she played sarah connor did a really fucking good job at it and uh summer glow played the terminator and uh together they were protecting a young teenager adolescent john connor i don't recall it's been 10 years but it's a good show and it made me like Summer Glau because she's pretty fucking hot in her own way and she's really flexible do you guys have any shows that you like like so much that like once a year once every two years you go back and watch the whole thing again I've seen every bit of The Office

four times now I've seen every bit of Trailer Park Boys three times now, including the movies. I've seen all of Seinfeld twice. What else? Once every 18 months, I watch both Band of Brothers again. That's really good. That's not on Netflix, though, is it? No, it's HBO. Yeah, it's on HBO and maybe Amazon

Prime. It and the Pacific. The Pacific was not as good. The Pacific was not as good. It was good, but... It was a hard thing to compete with. It was still really good. Exactly. Like on a scale of 1 to 10 it's like a 7 or something. If the Pacific was the only one, no one would be talking

about it. It was like, yeah, it was good. It was whatever. What was really good was, what's the one with the Baltimore drug dealers? I sang Hardwire, but I don't think that's it. Oh. The Wire. The Wire, yeah, yeah.

That was outstanding. The Wire. I need to watch that. I've heard great things. You haven't seen The Wire? No. What's the gay, black, stick-up man's name in that show? He's got the scar across his face. He plays Chalky White in Boardwalk Empire.

Omar. Omar. Oh, Omar's the best. I didn't know he was gay. It slipped my memory. He's got a gay lover the whole time, and then something happens to the gay lover, and it's a big motivating factor for his character. Omar. In any case, Omar case so are you bad ass he walks around

the the Baltimore projects with a fucking 12 gauge like he's not messing around he says he had this line it's something like if you go hit the king you better not miss you better kill me when you take it or I'll fucking put you down that's how he is. Drug dealer. He's neither. He robs drug dealers. Like he robs bad people. Like,

like, yeah, everybody's scared of him. Like, you don't fuck with this guy. Like he literally walks around. He only robs bad people. I don't know.

He's like a burglar version of Dexter. Like he holds up drug dealers. He's like Peter Pan. No, Robin Hood is what I was going for. Uh, what was I going to say? It's interesting when some people, like, their toughness comes from their willingness to be tough.

Maybe it was Casino. I get some of those movies mixed up. Casino and Goodfellas happened at roughly the same times. And sometimes in my head, I switch the scenes around. But bikers come into a bar and they mess with they're like disrespectful inside a bar that's maintained or owned by the mob are you familiar with this scene and uh um it's probably not either of those movies but anyway they're like fucking around and stuff and the guy who owns the bar goes and he puts the deadbolt on the door.

And then it falls silent. And all these Italians come out with, like, baseball bats. And they just beat the fuck out of the biker gang. But the bikers are big, tall, maybe even semi-chubby guys. And some of these Italians are, 300 pounds overweight, right? I haven't seen this movie. I don't know what this is. Really? It's not Casino or Goodfellas.

They're played by, I think it's some young people who were raised in a mob area and then become mobsters. Oh, Knock Around Guys? Is Vin Diesel in it? I'm not sure if Vin Diesel is in it, but it might be Knock Around Guys. Anyway, really good film. They're the sons of mobsters and they they lose a bunch of money and they have to go to a podunk town and find the money i don't think that's it i think in this case de niro is the father and he doesn't really want the kids to be into the mob but it draws him in anyway

i i bet i the scene i thought you were going to go with when you said Casino or Goodfellas is when they're in that bar, Pesci and De Niro, and they're just chatting and that one guy with his two girls is kind of a dick to De Niro. It's called A Bronx Tale. The movie I'm thinking of is A Bronx Tale. And you haven't seen it?

You are both missing one of the great mob movies of cinema history. Anyway, in A Bronx Tale, they go, they lock the door, and they beat the hell out of them. And I don't know if it's at all true or not, but part of the narrative of being tough is being willing to be tough. You know, like, I strike first. I strike hard. I use a wrench on your skull.

Yep, Joe Pesci in every movie. Yeah, right? Yeah, Joe Pesci. And stabs the guy in the neck. Oh, do you hear that girl? You hear a girl here? What happened to that big tough guy that was talking shit to my friend? After he kills him in the bar with that gun.

Yeah. Meanwhile, everyone in there could beat Joe Pesci in the octagon if they squared off and said, okay, now we're doing punches and grappling only, right? But when he goes straight at you with the fucking big pen in the jugular, it's a whole different fight.

Let's see, what did Kyle find here? This is a movie called Knock Around, guys. It's the one I described where these guys are the sons of monsters. Oh, I know this one. We'll watch it together. It's great. I sent you a time thing. It should start at 2 minutes and 21 seconds in. And just to lay it out there for everyone,

like I said, these guys are the sons of mobsters. They went to the small town to find their money. They want to find the man in charge and make him find the money, though. That's their goal here. Shit. Okay. Ready, set, play. I think Jim Carrey faced off with this bully once in a bathroom. No, I'm Brucker. I'm the guy asking what the fuck you want. I am also the guy who decides if you and your friends walk the fuck out of here or not.

Yeah, he'll do. Yeah, he'll do. Five hundred. Five hundred what, douchebag? Suckle. Now we know the word. 500 fights. That's the number I figured when I was a kid.

500 street fights and you can consider yourself a legitimate tough guy. You need them for experience, to develop leather skin. So I got started. Of course, along the way, you stop thinking about being tough and all that. It stops being the point. Get past the silliness of it all. But then...

After... you realize that's what you are. Look, I got no problem with you, all right? I'll tell you, you've done a lot of things on the way to 500. None more important than this. I didn't learn anything. Fucking sucker headbutt him in the nose. Look at him.

He's not even interested in the show anymore. This audio is great. Everybody's kind of okay with it. Yeah. Gives him a real ass whooping right here. Yeah. My cousin and I, when we watched this the first time, that's what we kept saying. We were like, that's a real ass whooping, right? Like, he didn't, like, it's not over yet, by the way. He won this fight a while ago.

Yeah. Yeah. About a minute and a half ago. I think he hands him over to his friend. Yep. Not his friend's going to hit him. He's just like, all right. This is the state you were asking for, right?

Yeah, we got gonna have an understanding before we walked in here this was your town right this is how you get it back something of ours were missing whoever took it it's got to be making it obvious so I want you to find out who when you do you come meet me at the motel while we're here i actually in the related videos was the scene from the bronx tale that you were talking about oh yeah yeah yeah that's what i'm looking for oh good because i had found it too but mine was too long it was like seven minutes let's let's do that now now you can't leave i I'm cute up at zero

I really want to show this to you. I am too. All right. Are you guys ready after this? I think you'll want to watch this movie Taylor you're a It opened up an Internet Explorer, so I need five more seconds for the ad to go away. That's fine That's why I asked Yeah, I don't know how I missed this one. This is Joe Pesci. Are you ready? Yeah, I want to watch this now. I've heard this movie so many times. All right.

So the title is Brock's Tale. Now you just can't leave. Ready, set, play. Use. My father-in-law said use. When I was young, I didn't like it. And now that I'm old, I really do. Oh, shit.

I'm sorry. Can we start over? My mouse has these numbers on it. Where are... Let's just start at zero. I'm at zero. Taylor? It's on the biker beatdown playlist.

Yeah. All right. Ready, set, play. I actually hit like four and it jumped ahead or something. Yeah. That guy's the boss. Fellas, you're not dressed properly. You're going to have to leave.

Properly? What's wrong with the way we're dressed? These gentlemen ain't dressed. I asked them to leave. Is there a problem here? No problem. As your man here says, we're not properly dressed. Like our money ain't green.

We just want a couple of beers. A few beers, that's it. That's it, we'll be on our way. We ain't looking for trouble. Spoke like a gentleman. Get in there, please. Go ahead. I appreciate it.

No problem. You didn't like that? Yeah, yeah. I liked it, didn't like it. Nice call, boys. Get in some nice cold calls. Come on. Two over here, eh? One more.

One more over here. Go on. He's always teaching him. Well, that's a mistake. Oh, that's what put it over the top. To our host. In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost! Well, that's a mistake. Oh, that's what put it over the top. That was it. Or barked. He didn't like that.

Hey! Oh, you again, huh? That wasn't very nice. Now he's gotta leave. I'll tell you when the fuck we leave, alright? Get the fuck away from me. You watch the bite, eh? Hey, that's what I'm talking about! concern yeah I almost can't leave now you can't leave mistake this time they walked into the world bar look at that they're old

they're fat but they're willing to be really violent the first time I'm beating a man with a chair boy look at him I wonder if that... Listen to the audio. I shall never love another. I thought he scouted that man at first. Dear God. He's reaching for his toupee.

Yeah. The guy who the boss is teaching here, the young kid, he played Brendan Filone in Sopranos. That's a real beating. Drag them the fuck out. Throw them on their bikes. I like how he just keeps ten guys with bats on retainer. They were in the back eating spaghetti or something.

Now they beat their motorcycles. Yeah. And I feel like if I understand mob movies at all, a lot of this is so that everyone knows. We're making a show of this outside. I might be wrong. I thought they beat up the bikes more. The message was essential.

He's not done. He might have killed him right there. Right? Hang on. Let me bash his brains in real quick before we go. The whole town jumps in. Yeah, there were some street people there at the end who did some stomping. There's still stomping!

There's still stomping! Well, that was a real whoopin'. All those World star hip hop fights where the guy gets knocked down and it's like 10 additional kicks to the back of the head. All right, I'm interested in that movie now. I'll check that out. Yeah, I'm gonna check that out.

Yeah, essentially. Although now I'm curious if you've actually ever seen Casinos or Goodfellas. I've seen both, I'm sure. Yeah, I can even help you. Casino, I think, is the one where De Niro is the Jewish guy who's not fully a member of the mob, and Goodfellas

is the other one just like it. With Ray Liotta playing... Yeah, yeah, yeah. How much money do you need? This much money. Yeah. Goodfellas is probably my favorite. Joe Pesci

stole the movie, I think. There's a couple scenes there Yeah. I like that. Goodfellas is probably my favorite. Joe Pesci. Joe Pesci has so... He stole the movie, I think. There's a couple scenes there where he's just... There's the... What do you mean funny how? Like I'm a clown? Like I'm here to amuse you? Funny how?

He's like, I don't know, man. The way you talk. You're a funny guy. Funny how? And it gets real intense and everything. And then, of course, there's the scene where... Where's the one where he lets him off the hook? Is it the funny one or the other one?

The one I just described. He's like, ah! And everybody laughs. And, you know, it was a big joke. Oh, it was like, thank God, right? Yeah, everybody. Like, the one guy's just sweating. Like, he doesn't know what's going to...

He thinks there's going to be a gunfight right there at the bar. But then the other one at the shine box where in the past this old school mobster's gotten out of jail he's come back but last time he saw dan um um what's his name joe pesci joe pesci he was a kid who shined shoes for a living and he's like yeah i remember they called him shine shine box whatever blah blah blah like get your shine box and he fucking comes unglued and just stomomp stuff fuck out of him and then he stabs him with that knife that caused trouble right that guy was like that that's what caused it all to fall apart in the end that's what that's

what got him taking care of there yeah good news I like mob movies I like I also I'd like some older mob movies, like 20s shit. The 70s stuff is good. 20s would be interesting to me too. Although I will say that. Before like 1950 when it was so, the cadence was weird. No, no, no. I mean the set in there, not made from the 20s.

Boardwalk Empire, I really, really like Boardwalk. The first three seasons, or first two seasons for sure. And the first three are really good, I feel like. I want to say three is where I stopped watching. Yeah, after three it drops off. Because the first three, it seemed like a trilogy. And then the last two seemed like, well, let's just keep making them. See how it goes.

We're making so much goddamn money. But the first three with the Jimmy Darmody story and the whole thing with his mother and the coolest character, one of the coolest characters ever is the guy with the half a face. At one point,

I didn't know. Steve Buscemi asked him at one point, he's like, how many people have you killed? He's like, 63. Like immediately. Normally in movies, they he's like, how many people have you killed? He's like, 63. Like, immediately. Like, normally in movies they'd be like, doesn't matter. Or say something silly or something cold.

He's like, 63. I've killed 63. And he describes, he's like, he's got the German sniper's mask that has these slits for eyes in it. He's keeping it with him and he's like, I'd like to have it with me. He's like, I watched him for three days until he raised this up to scratch his nose i put a bullet right here

he's such a heart and then at the end of season three not i'm not gonna spoil too much but he goes john wick on those motherfuckers he goes up in there like sniper rifle shotgun and two or three handguns and he's using them all at the same time he kills like 10 people rapid fire it's yeah it kills i counted i think it was nine he killed like not it was great i i really enjoyed uh him as a character who's nucky in the first three seasons kind of goes in and out of power like there's more powerful people than him than less powerful he's hiding he needs to form an alliance i thought that aspect of it was pretty cool. I can't tell you why that thing,

I just kind of lost interest in it. Maybe because Game of Thrones was so much better. The true story. Too much backstory though, for like when it got to be like young Nucky and how he got his upstart in the 1890s or whatever. It's just, I didn't care that much.

Yeah. I lost, it lost me there. I did like that. They had this big story arc with how Nucky was the one who took the little girl to the Commodore to originally get raped, and then her son's son is the one in the fifth episode

who does the thing. I liked how they wrapped it up, I suppose. As a series as a whole, I guess's i really like it but the first three seasons of that thing are really the best three um the third season is is incredible i love the way that thing finished up and the characters were great uh steve buscemi i would have never thought could lead a show but he did that snaggleletooth motherfucker. I think that Hollywood characters who were not great-looking are really interesting. Like Ray Loiota, Steve Buscemi.

Mostly guys. Ugly women I don't really have much use for in Hollywood. But uh... Melissa McCarthy. Who? She's funny. Who? I don't like that. It's not my style. Who is this? Melissa McCarthy. Melissa McCarthy. It's the... She's funny. Who? I don't like that. It's not my style. Who is this? Melissa McCarthy. It's the... She's wildly popular. Yes.

Yeah, really, really popular. She's wildly popular. Her movies do incredibly well. She's an overweight comedian, comic. Oh, I know. And I just don't care for her at all. I didn't think I was going to, like, spy that comedy movie she made. Yeah. A couple of people were in there but yeah a couple of good actors. It was really really funny like uh Jason

Statham was in it as you know his standard character. As Jason Statham? As Jason yeah he played Jason Statham perfectly to a T. I liked her in Gilmore Girls. I drive well and I kick ass. I don't feel like I paid attention to her since Gilmore Girls. I never watched Gilmore Girls. I don't feel like I've paid attention to her since Gilmore Girls. I never watched Gilmore Girls. It's too young for it, but yeah. The dialogue in Gilmore Girls was really snappy and witty and back and forth. It was rapid fire between the mother and the daughter, and that was the only thing I liked about it.

I caught it occasionally because I had girlfriends. But there was a lot to that. That's a solid reason. The only thing I liked about it. I caught it occasionally because I had... There was a lot to that. That's a solid reason. The only thing I liked about it was 90% of the show. The writing and the acting. I didn't like it in that set. I don't care about the mother and daughter and all

everything that got going on, but I wish that were in a setting that I did like. I don't know how to describe it. It's rapid fire, witty dialogue. It was like Dawson's Creek, but better. Dawson's Creek was fake over the top, like 15-year-olds philosophizing with all kinds of wisdom and such.

But Gilmore Girls was, I don't know, better. It was witty and believable and fun and spontaneous feeling and energetic. It was nice. It had a lot of that show. That was its saving grace um i'll go back to battlestar galactic again and say that that's right up there with most of the shows that we talk about that are our favorite shows i'm uh i'm re-watching battlestar

right now i'm it i just finished season two there's two more seasons to go of the main thing i really like that show dude there's there's a character in it i don't know his name he might be a doctor or something. He's a white guy, might be balding. It's been a while since I watched it, but he goes back and forth as like good guy, bad guy. The XO? The second in command?

Mm-mm. I don't think so. I think he gets marginalized in terms of command to some extent. Shucks. He's like in love with the with the cyborg. That's Gaius Baltar. He's got tons of hair though. He's got the

long flowing black hair. Yeah. He's the Gaius Baltar. Yeah. Gaius. The balding character would be the XO. You know the second in command of the Battlestar. And then you got Adama played by...

I can't think of his fucking name. Almost. Edward James Almost. And you got Starbuck. Are you doing an actor's name or a character's name? A little bit of both. Gaius Baltar? That's the character. Isn't Edward James Almost? That's the guy

with the lumpy face? Very lumpy. Lots of pockmarking going on. That guy was well casted. He's so good in that show. He's got a lot of emotional moments where he breaks down and cries, but you feel

so emotional, you're like, yeah, that's a strong man crying right there. At one point, he talks about the importance of keeping the military different than the police. You know, if you use the military, use the police because the police go against the citizens. And then the citizens tend to become the enemy of the government if you have the military policing them. And you're like, oh, that's so wise. Like the military is one one purpose to fight the enemy the police are protecting sir when the two cross paths and he goes into this whole thing he's got

this gravelly voice and everything he says is very serious lee lee you've got to go on a strike mission right now it's always like that it's he's very he's not he's rarely light-hearted but uh i like all the characters i like that they uh so i don't know if you ever watched the original they had the guy from bonanza in it it was real shit i watched him as a kid and the dumb dog thing the star but yeah that was bad too that robot dog um starbuck was a guy in that rendition of the show the original this time around the cast it is a blonde chick who's super hardcore. I really like her. I really like her. It took me a little bit to get over it because Star Wars, Star

help me with this. Star Buck was like the hunk of the show back in the day. The hunk of this show has got to be Lee Adama. That guy has like Superman physique. His arms, like there was one part where he gets shot in the chest and for like, I don't know,

a month or so, like he's down for the count with his chest when recovering. He was still doing his bicep curls the whole time. His arms are legitimately this fucking big. They're like, you can see each muscle of the group. He's like a bodybuilder. And he's constantly wearing like a black wife. What's

Liadama's name? Is it Apollo? That's his call sign yeah yeah i'm gonna need you to speak in character names because i don't know actor names well lia dama is his lia dama is his character's name his his fighter pilot call sign is apollo though i see i only know him as a star star battlestar galactica very very very good it's there's a lot of content there too but it's outstanding i can't think of anything I want to watch right now. I swear. There's like nothing out there that is right for me to consume.

Uh, I, I'm not excited about Narcos. There's, there's just nothing. Give it an episode. It, it,

cause the guy who plays Pablo is pretty charismatic and you all, you're kind of get, it's got kind of like a Donnie Brasco feel to it because you kind of get like the point of view is from the DEA. I'm told it's like boring documentary style stuff. The first episode, yeah, the first episode had some

like flat, you know, they showed Reagan sitting there with Nancy and the just say no. They talk about the politics that were involved that like led that set the socioeconomic climate in which he prospered and he became a cocaine kingpin.

So yeah, there's some news stuff. They show some news reports and stuff. But for the most part, it's a really well-developed story with good characters and good acting. You should get into Fargo. Fargo's outstanding. Is there a second season yet? Yeah. They should get into Fargo. Fargo's outstanding. Is there a second season yet?

Yeah. They just started the second season. In real life? No, it's up on, if you go to Stream TV or whatever, you can find the first episode of the second season. It's funny.

Dude, Fargo is good. I need to check Fargo out. I believe you. I saw a 30- second piece of an episode the other day and it looked really powerful. It looked great. So you know No Country for Old Men? Yeah. And I forget the

character's name who wields the silent shotgun and the bolt gun. Anton Chigar. Okay. Something about that character, right? He just kind of lives in a world with no rules, right? Not the haircut, but that's not the point of him. The point of him is that he seems to have a complete disregard for police and authority and whatever.

He is just a man who does whatever the fuck he wants to do, has his own sort of code, and societal norms, everything mean nothing to him fargo has that too fargo has a character that just philly bob thornton yeah and and i am having a hard time verbalizing just like like he threatens a policeman and i don't want to ruin the scene but there's a part where he threatens the policeman and afterwards you're like, ooh. I didn't expect that to pan out that way. You can't threaten a cop and expect the cop to back down. Especially with a bowl cut like he has in that show. Fargo is great. I need to watch that.

I need to see season two. I wish I could binge watch it though. I like the movie. Yeah, the movie was really good. The TV show might be better. Yeah, it might. I don't know. I like William H. Macy in it a lot but Martin Short does just as good in the TV show.

I want to see this now. It sounds like it's got an all-star cast over there. Billy Bob Thornton's in it, huh? Yeah, and I almost always hate him, but I love Fargo. Ah, he's strong. I like Billy Bob. He's a fucking performer, man. Come on, when he's that corrupt prison guard, fucking Halle Berry, and was it Monsters Ball or something like that?

You go all the way back to when he was fat in Tombstone, and he's the one over there. He's dealing cards, and he's causing a big scene and making a lot of trouble. Nobody will come in there and gamble, and Wyatt Earp goes over there and slaps him around. He's like, skin that smoke wagon and see what happens. It's great. It's gold.

He slaps him, and he's like, now, mister, I'm. It's great. It's gold. He like slaps him in the maze now mister Yeah, I'm telling you right now. I like smacks it like you gonna do summer just stand there and bleed boy It is like he just tears him down. Of course. He runs off and gets a shotgun shows back up And then Doc Holliday sees him and like dresses him down again and at the end of he's like, oh, I'm sorry I forgot you were there you may leave he's great like he's like he's got it's almost a cameo role but i loved him in tombstone and i really love him sling blade man like like after sling blade like he's got he's got cachet forever with sling blade i feel like that's like a i feel like he played a better

mentally challenged man than Tom Hanks did in Forrest Gump. Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump was kind of a comedy, right? Like, I don't know many retards that act like this and meet four presidents and become a millionaire and become a war hero. It's kind of a comedy. That's a really good Forrest Gump.

Thank you. Yeah, it's way better than Forrest Gump. Definitely. I need to watch Sling Blade Blade I'm not sure I've seen it it'll tear your heart out wait wait something about a Kaiser Blade now I think I have seen it 1996

I love you boy 1996 i love i love you too carl director billy bob thornton screenplay billy bob thornton story by billy bob thornton i took that little fella and put him in the shoebox he's still moving around a little in there but i put him in the hole and covered him over. It's so sad, man. I'm sitting there listening to him tell this story to this boy, and there are just tears welling. And when he gets to the final part where the boy's like, I wouldn't have done that.

I'd have took care of my little brother, and he'd have had a chance to have some fun. He's like, I didn't know no better. I'd done the best I could. And then there's just silence for a minute and the tears just pouring down. And the boy goes, I love you, Carl. And Carl didn't know what to think about it for a minute.

He just puts his arm around the little boy and goes, I love you too, boy. Oh! I paused it and just went... Well, now I don't need to see it. Oh, that's not the end. That's two minutes in the middle of the movie. It's so fucking sad, man.

It sounds terrible. Oh, it's so sad. It's emotional. And it's so powerful. You can feel the... When there's an awkward moment in that movie, you feel awkward. You're in it. It's palpable an awkward there's an awkward moment in that movie you feel awkward you're in it It's palpable when there's a funny moment that you know when when Dwight Yoakam or whoever the fuck is it It's Dwight Yoakam Randy Travis. It's Randy Travis

I think is he's like I want all the goddamn faggots and retards and cripples out of my house right now Because there's there's one of each retards and cripples out of my house right now because there's there's one of each there's a guy in a wheelchair there's carl who's retarded and then there's his girlfriend's john ritter's playing a homosexual friend of his girlfriend he's i want my faggots and retards and cripples out my goddamn house john ritter die i remember he's dead he had a heart attack around 2004 it was real sudden he was yeah he was in the middle of filming that show, Eight Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter, not filming your teenage daughter.

And then David Spade came in and took over for him and continued his run of primetime performance. Like we said last time, it was like 10 or 15 years or something like that. It's a shame. I like John. So, like, John R was was always really good i felt like in his roles and he could like when he was playing the gay guy in sling blade did a perfect job did you see that the movie he did with belushi which one uh i need to look it up

ritter i really liked him as the uh the mall manager from bad santa He's like, he was F U. What do you say? F U C K I N G. I'm seeing her in the AWS. He's like, he's like, he told her that she wasn't gonna S H I T right for a month. Real men. It was called with James Belushi and John Ritter.

And it was pretty good. I love it. He looks under the dressing room door in the women's big and tall section and he sees fucking Billy Bob's calves behind a fat woman's calves and you can tell he's fucking her from behind and she's moaning

and he goes, yeah, you ain't gonna shit right for a month. I know you don't like that movie but it's so dark and depressing. Which movie? Oh, Bad Santa? Yeah, I love the dark, rancid heart that's inside Billy. Like, Billy Bob's... When he beats up those kids and the crazy, raging alcoholism.

I like Billy Bob a lot. I think he's one of my favorite actors. Even though he's clearly a cuckoo. Remember when he had Angelina Jolie's blood around his neck in a vial? No. You guys don't know about this. That's cuckoo. Yeah, well, they each had a vial of one another's blood in a vial that they wore around their neck.

It's a thing. Yeah. Well, there's lots of ways to show your love. Can I have a vial of your blood woody uh i just like to keep it close all right you ready call it a show all right p killer already episode 252 i hope you guys enjoyed it i thought it was good this week yeah check out our sponsors below woohoo