Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #253

Episode Date: October 29, 2015

This week on PKA, Anthony Cumia is back and kills it like always, the guys talk about some of the biggest hoaxes, AMA questions get ran through, the Magic Leap and female fighters.

Alright, now we're live. PKA 253. Thank you, Anthony, for coming on. This episode is being brought to you on Payne already. It's being brought to you by Dollar Shave Club. Shave time, shave money, Dollar Shave Club. Fucking awesome razors. Started off rough, finished strong. Good job, Kyle. Thank you. I was still kind of giggling from what we were talking about before. The pre-show started getting good. I'm like, I'm recording! We're going live! before the pre-show started getting good i'm like i'm recording we're going live yeah so i think i brought up the topic i was saying that uh opie your ex-co-star does not get the

same love he did when you were there yeah there's a lot of uh not love i guess you could call it going on uh so i don't yeah i don't even know know totally where it comes from. I mean, obviously people are mad that there's no Opie and Anthony show anymore. But to totally focus that negative energy on him is pretty bizarre.

Yeah. You were there for that cake stump thing, physically present. And there are so many clips from the Opie and Anthony show, because I'm a big fan. I go through all the old YouTube shit of him doing something cringeworthy and everybody else just, even you and Jimmy, feeling so uncomfortable that you're, like, bringing your hands in because you don't want to even be a part of it at all.

But at the time, did you know that was just shitty and going to bite him in the ass? I didn't know at the time did you know that was just shitty and gonna bite him in the ass? I didn't know at the time. I guess we were always trying to top the last thing we did or get people to be outraged about something but that one, I did not see it coming. I didn't know what he was gonna do. I didn't know he was gonna do that.

When he did it, I did. I just sunk my head in my hand and went like oh my god that is really bad are we talking about the cake incident yeah yeah so maybe you know i i this is what's important to me from the outside can we lay it out for the listeners sure kyle i don't feel like i know it well enough because i've just. Yeah, let's let Anthony lay it out. Because I've just seen like the five seconds of it happening. So I don't know what happened before and after. Yeah, we used to do a walkover because we had to do mornings over at K-Rock in New York City. And then the other half of the morning we did over at the XM studio.

Neither company wanted us working from the other studios while we did it. It was really a dumb political thing. But we did this walkover because it was just about a block and a half away, the studios. And we would mic ourselves and actually broadcast our walk down 57th Street live when we would walk. I like that. And there's just homeless people all over and, you know, the characters you get in Manhattan. So this homeless guy, Andrew, used to sit outside at K-Rock every day and we'd chat with him about things during the walkover and we'd give him money and shit. And then it turns out

he had a cake and he opens it up. He's like, oh, I have cake. Would you like some cake? And we were like, oh, no, thanks. No, thanks. And Obi goes, oh, let me see it. And he goes, here, it's a good cake. And he goes, you know, treat yourselves. He was so nice about it. Obi goes, oh, wow, this is great. Puts it on the ground, jumps up, and just smashes down on it with both feet.

And I couldn't believe what I was seeing. You're just like, no! And he's homeless and disabled or something. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. You're just like, no! He's homeless and disabled or something. So we all gave him money, and he was upset about it. I was like, I earned that cake. I felt really bad for him. We gave him like, it amounted to hundreds of dollars. Because also the listeners that wanted to hang out, they

would walk over with us. They'd wait for us and walk over. So a bunch of people were giving them money and stuff like that. But I think the crux of the whole thing was, hey, you can't just buy someone's dignity like that. You smashed his cake. He was upset about it. He was doing you a favor. And just because you you throw him money Even if it's a lot of money, it still comes off as a really shitty thing to do That seems to be where that hate comes from Even more than that is like that's that's all that that guy had in that moment was like Like like I wasn't aware that was a broadcast I wasn't aware that he was given any money It seemed to me like like here's this this big shot radio guy walking down the road, like, just kicking shit in anybody's face.

It's like, you know the old bully who kicks the sand in anybody's face? He comes off like that guy, like the ultimate bad guy, and he's just gonna stomp this guy who has as little as anyone has and and yet is freely offering it to this hands here would you like some of what I pressure the mo you know treasure pressure the most and then he stomps it and you're just like that's all he had and he said he goes I earned that and I'm like what did he do earn that, he's blowing some nasty guy in an alley for that old cheesecake. Yeah, how did he earn it? Just double pumping. This is going to be worth it in about half an hour.

He didn't do someone's taxes for that cheesecake. Get real. Like, he did something awful for that fucking cheesecake, and he just stomped it. But knowing that he got compensation does make me feel better about the whole thing. It makes it better, but I got to tell you, Reddit, especially the Opie and Anthony subreddit, they have just gone all out to fuck with Opie really badly. And they wanted to present it like you just thought that he was walking down the street. Fuck you and your cheek.

That's how it presented to me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, there's a lot of non-love there, and that was one way of kind of getting him, trying to get him in trouble, I guess, is what they're trying to do now. So I don't really understand it. I've had my ups and downs with Opie, that's for sure.

You go 20 years of doing radio with somebody, you're going to have some issues. But to that point it's like wow where did that come so let me ask you we've had uh some staff turnover on this podcast over the years it's like five years old so it's not 25 but it's time and uh i feel like typically at the moment there's a split the animosity is at its peak at this point i'd have any of our ex-hosts back on as a guest from a distance it seems like you're going the opposite like on split day you came on the show shortly afterwards you could not squeeze a negative word out of you you know i completely understand why he didn't stand by me all right you know like it and and now some time has passed and you're like yeah he could suck a dick am i am i on target

with this at all there was uh you know there was a time where i was just kind of like well you know what were they supposed to do i understand opie and jimmy both they got jobs uh they're they have a lot of responsibilities. They're making a good paycheck and shit, you know. But it started getting to me when I'm thinking, like, he changed things around so much so quickly afterwards. And it was like, wow, I don't think he really went to bat for him. I don't think it was really a, wow, I'll do anything to get him back. It's like, oh, well, he's not here i have one of this it seems like they were like yeah anthony's gonna be gone but we're gonna kick that studio up a couple fucking notches buddy you ready are

you ready opie and he was like yes yeah you know there's hd video going on in there now and uh you know all the uh a lot of very guest intensive and stuff like that, which is fine, and it's just I don't think he really went into the bosses and said, look, you fucking unfire him or

the whole show is gone. Like, at least bluff. At least say you're gonna do that. And if they go, alright, take it easy, then you go, okay, let's's be reasonable it just seems like the first time they they were standing in front of a neon sign that said the opie and anthony show and they were like what do you want this or then like a big wall slides out of the way and it's just like the opie show or that he's just like yeah yeah it's like that scene in tropic thunder where tom cruise is like trying to buy off Matthew McConaughey. Yeah.

Yeah. So, you know, it's what it is. We haven't spoken at all. Really? Not a word. I was fired. No. Just maybe a text or two at the beginning.

But now it's like, you know, he does his thing. I do mine. I don't know why I'm so shocked. Sorry to cut you off. But we've got one host, Wings, who's been back on the show since and everything is friendly and we have another host where literally like a text or two and haven't spoken at all really yeah i think i think he kind of gave up on any um anything that was in the public eye at all like i think he kind of shut down his whole social media thing and the whole persona that was in the public eye at all. Like, I think he kind of shut down his whole social media thing. And the whole persona that was lefty is dead. I think that's what happened.

Social media is just a pariah. It's just the worst thing you could get involved in. It's so harsh. I think regular people don't know it because they don't have as much as stake. Right? Like, you know, if you're like a mom or something and you're like well then just look away it's social media it's nothing right but when your job is a social media popularity contest and then all of a sudden people are like attacking you

and misrepresenting you and cutting what opie did and all that stuff like don't then all of a sudden like social media is a totally different thing you gotta fix this i gotta get on social media oh no i'm twice the asshole yeah right and there's this balance you know sometimes you want to like lay all the correct facts out there you're like if people just knew the truth everything would be fine and then no there's no good way to handle it because you even you say something that people hate you either have to like double down like yeah I didn't mean fuck that veteran backtrack be like well actually the facts are and then you look like a bitch hey no way to win you want to hear an asshole I had a thought

process earlier today so okay you know know how you see a veteran, you thank them for their service? As a guy who pays a lot of taxes, I was like, you know, maybe they should thank me back. That was the thought process. Like, oh, sir, thank you for your service. Oh, you're Woody's Gamertag.

Well, I'll have you know, it wasn't completely altruistic. I entered the services really with no job prospects whatsoever. I fucked off in high school, couldn't get into college. Now I got a GI Bill and a whole set of skills. I was kind of a dickwad headed into it. They turned me into a man. So thank you, Woody.

You're a fucking awesome taxpayer. Wouldn't that be nice? Yeah, that's a popular way to look at it. You're going to have a lot of people behind you. Yeah, that's real good. Hey, I don't see what can go wrong. Social media will approve of that stance. Why don't you get your new puppy out and stomp it real quick?

Hand the camera down so we see it all. Yeah, just so we can tone down from the veteran hate. Writing that tax check is just as dangerous as, you know, going out there and trying to clean up some terrorists. I was talking about this this a couple days ago. There was one year where I was sitting in the accountant's office, and I'll just say the number. She was like, well, we don't know the exact number

is what she said to me, and I was like, okay, and she's like, but what we'd like to do is just go ahead and write me a check for $50,000, and I'm going to send that to them, and I'm going to keep going, and when I get closer to the final amount, you just send me a check for that amount, and I'm gonna send that to him and I'm gonna keep going and when I get closer to the final amount like you just send me a check for that amount and I was like yeah what's the second amount gonna be what do you think that'll be and she's like I don't know and I was like well give

me a fucking ballpark like 10 more thousand and she's like oh no I don't think we'll get away quite like that and it was another 52 she's the next house like it's 52 and I was like oh You made it seem like you were at least getting half there on that first trip like you need another 50 Oh, and and those are like two of the biggest checks. I've ever written in my life and both of them just wait Yeah, you don't get anything back i mean back you just leave the table you got fucked the best part about that is after you do all that and all said and done to then have people yelling at you that you're not doing your fair share you're not doing your fair share god

damn it that year i felt like i really did my fair share i felt like i bought a lot of like rocket fuel or missiles or ammo or something. I'd see that it was during a time where we were really active over in Iraq and Afghanistan, and I was just like, keep it up, boys. You know what? I don't think any of you will have to. Enjoy that flak vest, that up-armored ATV, all that stuff. They should be like, Woody, you bought a Humvee this year.

I'd love to know that. You want to try it? You want to go jumping in the dunes? Like, that should be my reward for my taxes. No, you don't know it. You don't deserve any reward. You deserve, you know, people to hate you. It's not going to be until Chancellor Sanders gets to

be in office that you can truly pay your fair share. Chancellor Sanders. I want at least to, you know, have an Adopt-a-Jay-Dam kind of program or something You know what I would want like like I would like to choose there should be an option And I feel like a hundred K should definitely get your own Private footage from the missile as it hits the insurgents like I want to I want them to like ring me up me like it's

Happening it's happening and I like get on Skype and they patch me in Which ones do you want to hit, Kyle? And I'm just like, the lead vehicle. The lead vehicle. And I just watch as it, like, goes in and takes out the SUV. Money well spent. At least I feel good about what happened. That'd be a good way to get more people to voluntarily pay taxes.

All it costs is a GoPro just to know what you're doing with that money. They've already got the camera there they just gotta patch us in yeah what if i feel like if they really told us what we're picking the military right because we think like that's like money in effect right like give me this much money and then boom and that's the quickest way to visualize your money going and doing a thing but we know where our money really went right like once it was diversified into just billions of wasteful things it's just lots of waste lots of waste i look i yeah it wouldn't be as exciting if the cameras just showed like sue bob's eighth kid like in detention for the 10th time that week

just knowing that it's another drain when they graduate in ocean city new jersey uh one of the bridges that leads into it um it it was a deteriorating wooden bridge. And this wooden bridge at high tide was only like two and a half feet above sea level. So if it was windy, it would like splash your car. And I'll admit, it needed to be replaced. It was wooden and there were like splinters that would like fly in the air and stuff as you drove by. They replaced this thing with the fucking like mega bridge it was four times longer and it must be 150 feet tall the water is only like six feet deep

like it's nothing and and it was this super bridge and i'm like that's pork that was my first lesson in what wasteful government spending was that that bridge could be for a super highway and it was just a dinky little thing across a river that you could walk across all of that works just like yeah let's over overbid on everything the government will pay for it uh a lot of times you know you get these smaller towns and they'll say well we we asked the government for this much money last year they we can't ask for less this year because then they'll say well that's all you're going to need next year it's always more it's always going to be more and more and more so you're paying way too much that's why you're paying a hundred thousand dollars in taxes

uh it's so much waste i wish it was just a JDAM or a Humphrey or something fun. I wish you could pick where your tax dollars went, to an extent. I have been saying that for years. Because then you could, yeah, you can see all the hyper conservatives who just want guns. There's a simple way to do it. And all the hyper liberals who only want the other stuff. All you gotta do is put a big checkbox

on a tax document, and you check the ones you would prefer for your money to go and and and that and that way we could that's how we should like guide the nation's political policies i feel like whatever's fun really that's what we do you want to trust the people to decide how their money is spent i would check things like i i feel like nasa needs some more money i'd be like yeah yeah yeah, NASA. Yeah, let's get them some more money. It'd totally be like a big popularity contest. There'd be no more FDA, no more safe banking, no more... Oh, come on.

You'd check those boxes. There was a microcosm of that. There was a microcosm of this in my high school where they had... We had to donate a certain amount to hit a goal for some stupid fucking pizza party or whatever nonsense they were promoting it with. And it was like, you can donate to one of these six things you can donate to you know Battered women you can donate to help the dogs or you can donate to help teach retarded kids to play ice hockey and Everyone was like do we get to watch? And so everyone donated to that one

No So everyone donated to that one. Did you get to watch? No. They reallotted it because it wasn't what they anticipated. Like $0 to help puppies. Oh, that sucks. They reallotted it? That's like when 4chan wins one of those online polls and they don't actually name the new Pepsi flavor. Hitler was right. Yeah, the Mountain Dew Hitler did nothing wrong flavor.

You know, that would be more economical because you wouldn't have to buy him helmets. Bring your own. They seem, yeah. The bus ride there they're wearing. Oh, goodness. That's just rude. I'm kidding, of course. Yeah.

But before we move on to the next topic, so you can check for my channel link in the description i've got the truly terrible podcast over on my channel uh if you guys want to check that out really appreciate it so two thumbs up from kyle yeah yeah hey i have a isis music video do you guys want to watch it together oh is it in english right yes it's not only is it in English but it is subtitled because the English could be better the way we do this Anthony is we we just go to the URL and then we pause it at zero so it like cues up at zero and then just count down and say play I need to switch over so they can watch with us. Oh, no.

I don't think it's a joke, but I don't think we're... I feel like I have to mute Anthony during it or something because it's playing through your speakers. Yeah, I put that on mute. Oh, okay. Are you ready? Yeah. One, two, that on mute. Oh, okay. Are you ready? Yeah. One, two, three, play. For the sake of Allah.

God, it's loud. It hurts my ears. Very high impact. It's not poorly done, really. No, it's very well done. Lots of, uh... Lots of quick cuts, action scenes. Lots of artillery pieces and automatic gunfire and big fucking explosions.

Big explosions. It's, uh... dead bodies. This is like a YouTube Call of Duty montage. Yeah. Oh shit, did he just blow that tank up? With himself. Blown apart. That was outrageous.

Did you hear that? The line was like, their weapons are heavy but the soldiers of Allah are more than ready. They even run. A guy runs up and jumps on top of a tank and blows the tank up with himself. He slaps an explosive onto the top. They don't fear death. Their maidens await.

They really believe that, huh? Interesting. They seem to. I think they're blowing up an oil refinery there. Whoa. they're blowing up an oil refinery there whoa I think that's an RPK that that guy had a lot of focus on the dead people yeah yeah they like to get a lot of focus on the dead people. Yeah, yeah, they like to get a lot of good close-ups of death. On their own side, too. Either way.

I don't know how you can tell who's on which side. We're the men who love death just as you love your night. I'm sorry, you love your life. We're the soldiers that fight through day and night. I like the Dr. Seuss feel. We will fight them in the sand. We will fear our mighty band. I turned my volume off too much. It's hard to get it right.

Like, at one speck and it's too loud. There's lots of guys with, like, recoilless rifles and RPGs and shit. Like that. Look at that cat. Brand new Chevy Tahoe. This guy's got a GoPro strapped to him running around with an AK and a village. Like Call of Duty.

It does, yeah. It freaked me out a little bit because... Capture the objective! Yeah, it's pretty freaky. We got those Toyota trucks. Toyota, go somewhere! Oh, that's great. So... Ah, it's almost over.

The flag of Taweed? Wow. Alright. Alright. They've got a great editor. Yeah, it's just... The thing that... Go on, you wanna say something? I'm wondering about the production of that video. Did they hire some guy who's like

a hippy-dippy guy and he's like yeah, yeah, I'm gonna frame it like this, boss. You see how his brains are leaking out of his ears? I'm gonna get down that close, right? I'm just imagining how like, how did they... Up the saturation on this one. You know. How'd they produce this video? Kyle, you're Crackly. Can you try shaking the cord?

I don't know if it's the cord or the... That's a different cord now. Yeah. 1, 2, 3, 4 is my... Sounds... Crackly. It sounds good to me. That was very reminiscent of a Pat Benatar's Shadow of the Night video from 1985. That may be what they were going for maybe they were right it was the first time i was able to see how at least those people view themselves as the good guys you know that like we're brave we're ready we're going for this i you know their weapons are heavy we're more than ready they

they stress their bravery a ton in that video. A lot of tactful omission of torturing and killing women and children. We rape all the children in the dark night. I wanted that lyric to bust in. Wait, wait, are you saying rapes the dark children in the night?

What? Because we've seen the other mass executions where they just like take a guy put him on his knees pop him in the back of the head with a gun and uh to see death like that like that it's shocking to me to see the transition from life to death i don't know if you've seen many of these videos but it uh and it's just like these are clearly the bad guys you know they're just lining up prisoners and killing them but yeah anyway it's a little different watching like yeah watch uh like das boot and seeing from the from the german side

the summary and that's a little different because you can kind of see that they're fighting for their cause and and it's a very similar set of circumstances. These guys are just there for their brothers in a submarine. But that, it's so alien to us, that whole, the ideology and the mentality of what they're fighting for and what they're willing to do for it. It's a little, I can't reach that point where I'm like, wow, maybe they are the good guys to them. They're frigging animals. They really are. They've got a lot of conviction. I feel like there aren't too many things

that would make me be like, you know what? Things are so bad over there in Syria. I'm going to leave Egypt where everything's kind of okay and I got a standard job here. I'm going to go over there and get into the evil business. I'm going to go over there and do that. I want one of those black flags too.

Will they get me the mask? Do I get the mask or do I have to bring my own? Is it bring your own mask? How do they get into that thing? Because I know a lot of them are insurgents like that, but a lot of them are mercenaries too. They're on a payroll. I wonder if those guys are just like,

yeah, I don't really care about the virgins and all but these guys pay well they got the 401k this is a good game like you think there's a 401k plan in isis he's like look at my teeth look at this full dental is that what it's like like like i had to wrap the children but full dental like like if that's the, like, you could kind of be like, Ah, shit, they do get full dental. Like, I don't even have that, but... I feel like they're out there to do some evil. It seems like, unlike other wars where they want power, these guys want to, like, carve out their side of the country and be like, this is, they want to rule it through that, uh, what do they call it?

A caliphate, an Islamic caliphate where they, you know, it's, the religion is the rule of law. And there's no difference between the religion and the government. It's all one big thing. And it just seems so evil. They seem extra evil. I wonder if the evil is part of the draw, right? It definitely is.

If it was like, hey, you know, you join us, there's no rules. You know, are you not getting laid? Because there's all the sex you can muscle over here. And, you know, are are you do you like killing people because that's my favorite hobby as well they are they are so outwardly evil though like we don't just like we always hear about the evil they do i feel like other people have done things just as bad but they don't usually make youtube videos of them i i feel like that's telling it seems like isis ISIS does these horrible things like burning

people alive and drowning people and crushing them with boulders and shooting individuals with explosives and stuff like that. I feel like they're doing that stuff just to be outrageous, to get attention, to draw more people to their cause. They're like shock jocks. Yeah, exactly. They are the shock jocks of evil. They're smashing cakes of homeless people, you know, so to speak. Yeah. Good equivalency. I'm wondering if they do it to bring more people to their cause, you know, by getting that media attention. Or if they're trying to draw, like, you know, the United States into some sort of ground conflict where they can inflict damages.

They do get people. Like, have you seen the clips online where it's, like, some person from Sweden or Canada who defected, and they go and fight over there? And you'll see them in, like, a pan of those clips where you kind of catch that face, the only white face, and they kind of see those wide, you know, saucer eyes of, what have I done?

People told me it would be, you know. Did you see those two girls who were telling, so they were communicating with some ISIS guys online, and basically they said that they wanted to go there and become wives of ISIS fighters. And so they send the girls enough money to, like, fly to wherever the fuck, and the girls are like, fuck you, and just keep moving on.

And they fight another ISIS guy and rip him off. That's their game. They're just telling these guys and they find another ISIS guy and rip him off. That's their game. They're just telling these guys that they want to... Catfish, ISIS edition. They're ripping off... This is really dangerous. I don't know. What are they going to do?

Come get you? Yeah. I don't know about that. You're over in Russia or France or somewhere catfishing them. They won't come get you there. You know, it seemed like it was just a week or two ago. We were all convinced. Not all convinced, I wasn't.

But, you know, they're mixed in with the refugees, ready to infiltrate Norway. I think they are. Okay. And now it's inconceivable that they would be near the catfishers? To Canada. I feel like the fact that we don't see that many, like, lone wolf attacks in First World countries from this group of evil fuckers is an indication that they really don't have that many agents in place like

it's not like they're not like the soviets where they've infiltrated our fucking government i think part of it is is it takes like a a big group think to keep the crazy going you know like like they're like yeah those fucking people in denmark are absolutely evil fuck them all and then you get to denmark and you're like these are just people they're just regular people like maybe i was wrong blown away by like fruit all times of year and ac and television and they're like you know this western civilization thing not as shitty as they were telling me i doubt they're that surprised you have to be in North Korea to not have TV. I bet they've seen Friends, the TV show, or How I Met Your Mother or something.

I doubt they're like... Yeah, probably on a boob tube, like shit TV. Yeah, I hear you. I'm not saying they're living the lifestyle. I'm just saying that they know of it. They don't go to Denmark and they're shocked. Like, look at this. Bookshelves full of books and air conditioning and kitchen tables all right so so back when boris yeltsin came to uh came to the united states uh

he had this idea of what the u.s was and he got there and he made a surprise visit to a grocery store they'd taken him to a grocery store before and he saw how well stocked it was and everything and he was like ah fucking propaganda i see they took me to this grocery store. So they're driving along and he's like, no, no, no, no. This one. This one here. And they go in and he walks through the grocery store. And it's the same. It's like every American grocery store.

Completely fully stocked, overstocked with choices. And he cried. And it shattered his beliefs about communism and about the world. It was a big thing that happened back then. I feel like that's the same with these guys. No, that was pre-internet. Now there's a million jackasses doing day-in-the-life videos that show you what stores look like.

These guys don't look too internet savvy to me. I don't know. Not all of them, anyway. They just put out a pretty well-edited video. I think there's a logistical issue with some of these. You could get a lone wolf kind of guy that wants to go in and just shoot something up but for an organized ISIS event like it takes a lot to get information and the supplies they need without somehow you know the good guys getting wind of it and busting up whatever group is doing.

It doesn't seem to be as easy as we tend to think it is for a major event to go down. I feel like major events are easy to pull off. Not that I'm motivated, so don't go all wacky with what I'm about to say, listeners. with what I'm about to say, listeners. But if I wanted to get like 15 kills tomorrow, I bet I could find a crowd and get that. Well, not kills you can't guarantee, but I bet I could get 15 hits.

I could get 15 wounded. It doesn't take that much logistical craziness. I'm not entering into this. But for a lone wolf or even what's happening in Israel, these guys just driving trucks into bus stops and then they get out and just start chopping away. Obviously, that does the job as far as terrorizing goes. But I mean, to do something on a scale of, hey, New York City, a big event, a few people with vest bombs or something, to get all that material and the communications you need,

I think is a lot tougher than we seem to think it is. Could be. I've never organized a terrorist attack. I just, yeah, I'm not going to go into the details of all that, but the fact that they don't happen more often has always occurred to me as an indicator that either our enemies aren't very good at what they're doing or they aren't as motivated to do it as our government tells us they are. And it's kind of just a big excuse to spend a lot of the military. And it was always the second one to me because I'm waiting for drone grenade. I'm waiting for goddamn drone grenade or drone C4 because I think like that seems to be the easiest thing to do sporting event drone

Autonomously fly it into a friggin thing and and I know a guy who makes YouTube videos who has one of those like yeah Like like whenever it comes whenever they they talk about like this or that I'm just like I know a guy that makes fucking YouTube videos who built that shit like like Richard Ryan has a drone That'll drop a fucking uh uh high explosive charge and it uses sonar and it it's uh it remote detonates above above the uh at proximity above the ground so it's an airburst like i believe if you wanted a remote controlled bomb kyle could could whip something together by tomorrow anything about all that. Bullshit. Bullshit.

He's got drones all over the place, and I just imagine that he could put a thing together and make it go. It's real simple stuff. It's basic, basic stuff. The ingredients you could buy anywhere, and there's just nothing to it. I wonder why we don't see that kind of effort being put forth by bad guys. You would think that someone would have found their way into a college football stadium between two rivals when there were hundreds of thousands of people there,

if they were that motivated. It would seem like the stampede could do more damage than the bomb. That's what I'm saying. The bomb would happen, and then you're at an Ohio State game. There's 60,000 people running. minute every two minutes another one's going off And and so at first maybe they're orderly but by that second when they're like, let's get the fuck out of here by the third It's just crushing. That's that organization thing that like seems to be lacking in these These lazy terrorists, I think I think

These lazy terrorists. I think they're a bunch of fucking flunkies. I think that we don't have all that much to fear because they just don't fuck with us anymore. They haven't for a long time. Just little bitty things here and there. I mean, that thing in Boston was horrible, but that wasn't global. I don't think that was Al-Qaeda.

That was just those crazy Tsarnaev brothers. They hated Jews and anyone who wasn't them. That guy, I don't know if you guys know but like prior to them pulling that bombing off i think the older brother had cut the throats of at least two jewish men and killed them um like a year or two prior to that like these were bad guys how is he not in jail he got away with it oh so he just admitted it in like a manifesto? I also slit two Jewish guys' throats. No, it was a thing where I think the... The surviving brother gave him up or something, maybe?

I don't remember the details. I honestly don't. But I remember that that was a thing that he had done and they knew for sure he had done it. I think he had been investigated about that. I don't think that that was... These guys weren't strangers to our To the FBI or to to anybody in their government they knew about these guys or at least the older brother

Because he I think he had been investigated for that yeah They were just two crazy people as far as like the terrorists were referring to Isis seems like even if they Like they're not organized enough to fuck with us over here on a large scale But it also seems like they have their start their sites targeted in on their own Home region and also creeping up into Eastern Europe and maybe eventually Western Europe like we don't really seem to be the main target Anymore from what I understand at least not our homeland or even our embassies really really I mean back Back in the 80s it seemed like they blew our embassies up and and stuff like that. So what you're saying is Obama keeps us safe? Oh, sure.

Yeah. No, our guns keep us safe. To an extent. But I feel like Obama has been going crazy with those drones and is bombing the shit out of people the last eight years. And I think he's been keeping them cut down. Trump has been going crazy with this. I don't know that I want Trump to be my president, but I do feel like i owe him a debt of gratitude for making sure that jeb is not my president trump fucks up jeb all the time jeb is like fourth in the polls now and he's

still bullying stupid jeb um yeah you know like he did i love the whole like george bush kept a safe thing as if his presidency started on 9 12 right you know like the guy he took the whole, like, George Bush kept us safe thing, as if his presidency started on 9-12, right? You know, like, the guy, he took the whole fucking month of August off. That's when they gave him the security briefing, right? Al-Qaeda determined to attack us with planes or something. But he's on vacation over at his ranch, cleaning brush, putting in his truck or whatever he's doing. And then the next month after his vacation, he comes back. The country is bombed, you know, with four jets and people dying,

thousands are dead or whatever. But he's the one that kept us safe. And then Trump cleverly, or I forget, maybe it wasn't Trump who said this, but it's like, how is what Bush did keeping us safe? But Hillary is completely responsible for what happened in Benghazi on her watch. And I was like, ah, this is a clever little thing like it no I mean why didn't Hillary's term just start after her tragedy I don't know but anyway I don't like her either I listen to some of her testimony today her being

questioned by that committee or whatever she She did a really, really good job at that. I thought she explained herself well. There were obviously conservatives on that committee and liberals on it, so the conservative would just ask the same question three fucking times in a row, and she'd be like, well, as I've stated before, and as I'll continue

to state, and she'd lay her response out again, but then it'd get to a liberal member of the committee and they'd be like and and she would really no well even better than that she'd be like the senator said in the public recently that he was not that the clinton foundation wasn't one of the targets of this and had nothing to do with this and yet he spent his entire time limit questioning you about the about the clinton foundation and other things blah blah blah and what do you think that means? Like, she really was serving them up for left and right.

It was interesting to hear her. She was so comfortable and so well-spoken in what was a scary situation. When you watch someone like Hillary Clinton speaking well and defending herself well, you just look and go, oh, oh my god she's a great liar she's amazing she can defend herself the Clintons are very good at defending themselves uh and and look still looking like it gives plausible deniability that's all it all depends on the definition of is is right you. I did not have sex. Yeah.

I mean, they're very good at it. When I see her and people are saying, wow, she really did a good job in front of the committee. It's like, yeah, because she's so good at bullshitting everybody that she comes off looking good. I don't know. that she comes off looking good. I don't know. I think she was a very lackluster Secretary of State, to say the least. If not, she literally, you know, people were killed under her watch.

And there's plenty of paperwork saying that they wanted and needed things that weren't given to them. And she's great at passing the buck. So that paperwork was actually for a different location. It wasn't Benghazi. It was like somewhere else in the same country. And I don't know. The whole thing, like back when Bush was president,

who was his secretary of state? Was it Powell? Colin Powell? And then he was replaced by somebody else. Donald Rumsfeld first, right? Rumsfeld. Cheney was his vice president. Rumsfeld was the DOD department head or something like that.

And Condoleezza Rice, I think you're right, is the secretary of state. I believe Cheney's title was emperor. But it seemed like embassies were attacked left and right under Condoleezza Rice, I think you're right, is the Secretary of State. I believe Cheney's title was Emperor. But it seemed like embassies were attacked left and right under Condoleezza Rice. And embassies and all kinds of shit. And it was always like, well, we're at war and these are the people. They attack some vulnerable spots. They're out there. And then it happens to Clinton.

It's politically motivated. It's totally politically motivated. The Republicans have so much as men and it's politically motivated. I totally politically motivated the republicans have so much as men and it's politically motivated i'm not saying i'm voting for clinton i'm just saying this whole fucking thing stinks like i agree like this is not fair politics no one's discussing what we should be doing they're just slinging mud at her and four people died please that's kiddie stuff in in military matters you know, four people probably died today. I'm not sure. That whole bullshit story with the video, though, because they were preaching before the election the fact that,

oh, we're so safe, we haven't had a terrorist event, and then that's so close to the election. So they pawned it off knowing that it was an coordinated terrorist event on some asshole video that no one ever saw or would have seen the light of day if they hadn't blamed it on that and then lied about what it was really all about. That to me is pure political bullshit. And I know the right does it also, the Republicans, but they get called out when they do it, too. So, you know, who's why give her a pass? I hear you. I miss Jon Stewart. I feel like Jon Stewart, his job was to keep everyone in check.

And, you know, we were talking about where our money goes. Like they spent over five million dollars during this Benghazi investigation. That's how the liberal uh representative began her questioning she's like we've spent like this many years over five and a half million dollars this many and she's like and here we are and like that's where it was like her opening statement it happened to bill too like so i don't know the details of it i don't know how many people do but when they found the Monica Lewinsky thing, it started out as investigating some sort of real estate investment trust that Bill Clinton... I don't know. I'm going to mess up the details, so forgive me. But I think that he had bought

real estate and then the zoning perhaps changed on that real estate, the value went up and they thought that he was involved in enhancing the value of that real estate. And then they sold it, but they couldn't find anything wrong with it. So then they morphed into something else having to do with Hillary buying cattle. And that situation to me is one of the most fucked up. As a guy that's done some investing, she put $1,000 in and in three months turned into like $100,000, nailing every fucking peak and valley in cattle futures, i know she doesn't know shit about right like cattle futures are for farmers or something to protect their costs and and it but like so she would like ride cattle to the top

and then right before a tank she'd short it ride cattle to the bottom and right before it went up again she'd investigate and ride cattle back to the top and she turned literally one grand into a hundred grand in a couple of months and it's so fishy but they couldn't find anything wrong there was no paper trail until eventually it ended with bill clinton cheating on his wife and and it's like this started as a real estate investigation and they just kept chasing looking for trouble until they eventually found infidelity and rocked with it. And I don't know, this feels a little like that too. Like they'll just, they're just chasing, spending $5 million looking for stuff

and hoping something sticks. Did you see this thing I linked? Basically the gist of it is that Nevada bust off all of these, I believe it's 500 of them. Let me confirm it's 500. I think it's 500 of them. Let me confirm it was 500. I think it's 500 homeless mental patients. They put them on a bus and sent them to

California. And washed their hands. That was it. They're like, come on, everybody line up. They got all the homeless crazies out of a facility. They gave them each a bus ticket to California and said goodbye. I'm just imagining. This is a viable They gave them each a bus ticket to California and said goodbye. Wow.

And I'm just imagining. This is a viable policy, I think. That's a low cost. It's a weapon is what it is. Yeah. It's a weapon. If you give all of them bus passes, send them to California, all it will cost California is enough money in bus passes

to then send them to, like, North Dakota. And then North Dakota can send them in buses to, you know, Georgia. It's like some kind of a statewide game of hot potato where at some point they lose their minds and kill a bunch of people

and what state they're in at that moment. You gotta quickly get them out of your state. Well, it's finally happened after six years of roaming the country. Those 500 original

mental patients who began breeding in the summer of 2016 have now multiplied to over 800 crazy homeless mental patients. I feel like this is a real advantage to take advantage of a real opportunity to take advantage of Canada's kind nature, right? Like you just play

hot potato, hot potato, and then it snowballs too, right? 500 to California. California's like, you know what? Let's bundle in 250. Send 750 over to North Dakota, and then to South Dakota, and then Wyoming, and before long you're in Ontario, and they're like, you know what? Let's bundle in 250. Send 750 over to North Dakota. And then to South Dakota, then Wyoming. And before long, you're in Ontario. And they're like, oh, look at these poor people.

They need our help. How about Mexico? A little reciprocity there. Oh, yeah. Well, Mexico. Every illegal that comes over here, we send two crazies right back. After two years of that, they'll build the fucking fence. It'll be nothing but crazy, crazy gringos, like, roaming the street all wide-eyed.

Talking to themselves. Wearing a tattered hospital gown, shitting the mud on the streets. Why do I have no problem imagining Donald Trump running with that exact same thing you just said? Then two crazies over for every illegal and you're gonna send two nutjobs and then it falls through the roof even more. Yeah, I can see the speech now. Every year, five million illegal immigrants come up from

Mexico, but what they don't know is that we have over 40 million incarcerated here in this country. More than any country in the world, as Bernie Sanders likes to point out. We're shipping them out. Bus after bus, bus all day every day. Just fill them up with convicts and crazies. America will have like a huge shortage of drug dealers.

We'll be like, I can't get pot anymore. John fucking Trump sent all the dealers to Mexico. You'll just get better drug dealers. Better, safer drug dealers, see? It'll be the market. Absolutely. Or if Mexico won't put up with it we could just send them to alaska and maybe they get lost in british columbia a huge pit of crashed buses

full of the corpses of the crazy you know we've got a real platform here we should run for something yeah i nominate kyle he's got the most subs all right k. I've always said if there's a meltdown, I want to be, like, governor of, like, Kyleville. I'm guilty or whatever. Like, I want to be some sort of warlord or something. Maybe I'll get a few conscripts underneath me, you know? I'll, like, have... I kind of imagine, like, a Mad Max scenario where I get myself some sort of face thing

that makes me look all hardcore. Yeah. I like that. I'm going to start stocking up for that now. Buy, like, 2,000 high point carbines for cheap just to have, and you can hand them out to people that you think are trustworthy. I think Mosin Nagants are the way to go. And I've literally been told that by a nut job before.

I don't call him a nut job. A concerned citizen, let's say. A walnut American. Yeah, but he was at the gun store buying 20 Mosin Nagants. You buy them by the crate. Ten in a crate. It's like a grand. It works at like $100 a rifle if you're not good at math.

So I was like, what are you doing with 20 of these fucking things? I was like, I mean, you're collecting. You think the value is really going to go up enough that it's going to matter. He says, no, no. When the shit hits the fan, I'm going to want these. And I'm like, really? When the shit hits the fan, you're going to want like a World War II bolt action rifle? And he's like, no, no.

These are for my conscripts. You want to roll with the big daddy? You take a rifle and let's get moving, brother. He's like, I have me a whole unit. And I was just like, well, alright then. Alright, keep it up. That's great. I had another guy tell me,

he's like, Kyle, don't worry, brother. Shit ever hits the fan. I know what I'm doing. I'm heading up to, I won't say where he's going. I'm heading up to there. I'm getting the MG42. We're strapping it to the back of the 250. I'm picking you up, and then we're going for a little ride, brother.

And I'm just like, all right then. He's ready to strap the big heavy machine gun onto the back of the truck. On day one of the meltdown, he goes directly to that. We're going to Walmart, brother, and we ain't taking no for an answer. I like that, given your conscripts, like bolt action rifle. Because even the cannon fodder needs some element of hope. You can't just of hope it's like come on guys you can do it get there you like just throw them out there how many

guns do you have Anthony I probably have about 50 okay okay that's more than me less than Kyle I've known some really fucking nutty people that have like a fuckload more and then people that have less that are nutty also you know i'm too frugal i like i i look at the if you ever look at the gun subreddit it seems to be just gun porn like beautiful photography of everything it makes me want to buy it but then i just don't pull the trigger like really did this i it just gonna sit in my safe remember it's a little hard for me to you know get a good variety of weaponry so at 50 i'm pretty much i bought new york out of all the cool things like what do i want another fucking you know lever action that all the gun stores have now in New York.

We've gone back to the 1800s in New York. Dude, I love lever actions. Why do they have lever actions now? Lever actions are awesome. My lever action feeds from a tube and I want one that feeds from the side. But I don't buy it. I'm too cheap.

They're fun. They look cool. Aesthetically. You kill someone with that and then the quick rack, the other guy's gonna think twice. I like lever action rifles, but I think Woody likes more of the cowboys lever action rifle. The one that he would pull off his saddle.

I like, I think it's Mossberg. They make a tactical fucking lever action with a picatinny rail and stuff. And I like the idea of that. I like to be able to mount some shit to my rifle. That's interesting. Kyle nailed me. I want mine to be like silverish with maybe some cactus engraving or something. I wanna wear chaps while I shoot it.

And if you had a big leather saddle bag to pull it, saddle bag to, like, pull it out of slowly, like, you know, that'd make it all the better. Yeah, I know what you're talking about over there. That's not the cool one. You want the cool one. You know, your concept of cool is, like, rooted in when you went to high school. And for me, that was the 1800s. Speaking of guns, I'm going next week. This is, so we're going next week back to that big game ranch.

And so that guy, it's 20,000 acres. I don't know, the guy's a super, super wealthy guy. And he's got a house there, but he wants a new house. It's a beautiful house. It's really big. It's really fancy. But, but he wants a new house. It's a beautiful house. It's really big. It's really fancy. But he wants to build a new house. And so he has to get rid of the old one.

So next week I'm going, and he's got a Russian armored personnel carrier. He's got an RPK, which is a Russian belt-fed machine gun. He's got a SAW, American belt-fed machine gun. He's got a ton of machine gun. He's got a saw, American belt-fed machine gun. He's got a ton of machine guns. He's got a Russian personnel carrier, the big metal tank thing, and a bunch of explosives. And so we

are going to destroy his fucking house. It's like a... I don't know how to estimate the value of this house. Would it be okay for you to hold up a picture of the house with your phone? Do you have it? Yeah, I just happened to have broken my phone today, but I mean, it works. Oh to hold up a picture of the house with your phone? Do you have it? Yeah, I just happened to have broken my phone today, but I mean, it works. Oh, that's a shame. I was really sad.

Yeah, so I don't know how to estimate the value of this house, because I've only seen it at night. But it's a big fucking house. I thought you were joking when you texted that, because that's like a person's dream house. Like, at the end of this long career, I'm going to finally get this, and that guy gonna blow it up. I'm gonna be, I'm gonna go in there and fucking machine gun the inside of it. I'm gonna like shotgun the locks off doors and kick a man. We're gonna drive the tank through it. We're gonna. Can you hold it up for our screen, Woody? I can't. I'm just doing the, uh, anything doesn't know, but I have two cameras, so I'm just doing the people's camera first. This is the backyard of the place. It really doesn't do justice to how nice it is on the front,

but there's a lot of brickwork and stuff back there. So, yeah, we're going to absolutely destroy what is, I wouldn't call it a mansion, but it's certainly a really, really nice house. I can't burn it, I don't think, because the fire department's an hour and a half away, and getting them there was a logistical nightmare, apparently. But we're going to blow it to the ground.

There's going to be... I got Richard Ryans coming out, who specializes in explosives and high-speed camera photography, and bringing in some drone pilots, taking some drones out there to do some aerial filming and stuff, and bringing in another explosives guy, who's apparently called Mr. Explosive. So we're going to...

Well, he's the guy you want. Yeah, right? Yeah, he's the guy I was talking about last week who owned that ejection seat for the fighter jet. Oh, shit. So, yeah, we're going to destroy a fucking really nice house, and I'm just thinking of all the fun things that we could do in there. So I'm going to have a good time next week. So the guy's wealthy and can do anything he wants.

And I'm kind of big on freedom, and I support that. But there's still a literal liberal part of me that's like, man, there's kids in China who don't have homes at all. And he's just going to blow his to pieces. Are we going to move them here? I don't have a plan for this. I looked at it. It was mostly masonry. I don't think you can move it or do anything.

I swear to God. My first thought was like can i just stay there man just let me move in because honestly like like it would this house is in the middle of a 20 000 acre ranch you got to go through like four gates to even get to it and then once you're on the main road like you'll never see another soul it's so quiet you can sit there you can see so many stars at night and he's got like five million dollars worth of wild game on this place all this african and exotic game and and it's a Texas the big question I have is what's the bandwidth like there kitty do they have good internet out there internet out on the ranch

I'm talking about like like the guys that live there I don't want to say their names but does their house have decent internet we're just talking about like if it's a nice place to live I think you said okay I said okay but not that great so yeah you gotta put some gopros inside too

I am yeah you always get that shot in the movies when you're hiding in the house and the bad guys are shooting it up from the outside. Exactly. I want to see what that looks like for real. And I want to see the real-life bullet penetration of 30-caliber and 50-caliber machine guns

through a full house. How many walls does it go through? You should put some dummies. It will be dummies. When Bruce Willis is on the ground. It's probably too much to ask for, but if you still had access to those

bleeding dummies, that'd be really cool. They don't bleed as well as you think. Because on the inside, it's just a few paintballs. They leak a little, but they don't bleed that. Are you talking about the ones that custom made that time with the mason jars inside their head? Maybe, I don't know. I thought that they were...

I'll say everything because I think it's okay to say. You had a mannequin sponsor that had bleeding mannequins. And I remember them having drips of blood that would go 12 inches. Yeah, that's zombie industries. Those aren't... I mean, they're okay. They're the best. You should buy them.

But... I mean, they don't pay me or anything. But they're okay. They're the best. You should buy them. But... I mean, they don't pay me or anything, but they're okay. I guess they're fun for shooting in the backyard, but I don't feel like they're visually that great. What I did one time is I took real store mannequins, and I took a saw, and I cut the top of its head out, pulled that off, and then shot a screw through it, and then shot that screw through the top of a mason jar jar lid and then I took a mason jar full of green

paint and like screwed it on so now and then I you know glued that back to the top of his head so now his head cavity is full of the jar of paint like a jack-o-lantern like a jack-o-lantern full of like green ooze but what I am gonna I'm gonna have like dummies in there like dressed in like military garb wearing plate carriers with bullet armor body armor, heavy plate and stuff. Where do you get your dummies now? Different places. DC's.

Are you able to find them? They're just sitting there. Are you able to find them on Craigslist or something? I get them new. They range from hundreds. Sponsored? No. Why would they? Who's going to watch my video and my video be like you know what I need a few mannequins That's why I do Your occupation and serial killers are the only two people who have a mannequin guy There's no way to like make that make sense cuz like I doubt many of my viewers are like I needed a few mannequins The man I could warehouse why I think of that I just it's just not a pot but they range from a hundred

bucks like a hundred eighty bucks depending on if you want and others like a big titted one around the corner I think she was really excited you want to have sex with them yeah we need a real doll sponsorship manikin cheese are you listening to this real doll doll sponsorship. Make it happen. Oh, that would be great. Dude, I would have one back there all the time. She'd be like the next member of the show.

Have you seen a real doll, Anthony? Oh, yeah. They're nuts. Things are like if you're into having sex with the dead, those things are perfect. It's got the real weight to it. I've seen HBO documentaries on people that have sex with these things

and have like a relationship with them. They're really weird. It seems like the real doll people, they should partner up with the virtual reality people and you could really have an experience there. That is true, man. Strap on those goggles, get that Oculus on.

Now you just see a bunch of guys up there like a marionette controlling that lifeless real doll and then put the goggles on. So you're into voyeurism too. You want that guy to just be there. She's just laying there like a dead fish. I just so happened to accidentally find myself on one of those porn sites recently.

I've heard about those. Yeah, yeah, right? And there was like a whole page of thumbnails. But one of them had two like binocular views into it. And I think it was designed for VR goggles. I'm not sure. I actually didn't look at it but i was like i think vr specialized porn is working its way into the mainstream sites we do need that

yeah that is something that is to be you know to to look around the room it's like oh hey she's on the couch over here let me go over here you know oh reach out a little yeah that's that's gotta happen soon by the time there's holodecks i won't want to jerk off anymore this sucks i'm gonna miss it i'm thinking it's it to have uh like obviously a lot of people can't go to the world series and to have a camera station set up where you look like you're sitting there because The actual crowd is there. You're looking around and every seat can be on the 50-yard line if you watch the football game. You're just at home with that whole ambiance of the game and

looking at the players downfield like this. I think that could be pretty cool too. That'd be funny though because I feel like the way that would be accomplished is every whatever hundredth seat would be replaced with like a tripod and one of those cameras that spins constantly right and uh they have those 360 cameras out they have it on youtube it works you can grab the screen and like pull it around look at the ceiling and stuff but uh if i sat next to one of those spinning cameras you know I'd fuck with it all game long. Until they threw me out, you'd just be fucking with the camera.

There's so much potential with it, and I'm really psyched. I think there's some really cool stuff coming up in the next three or five years, I think. I've talked about this before, so I don't want to bore everyone, but the automatic driving stuff and the impact that has on the economy is frightening to me. Maybe right off the bat, you think about taxis and truck drivers, right? And that's a big thing.

Maybe right off the bat you think about taxis and truck drivers, right? And that's a big thing. But there's so many like forklift operators and all sorts of other people who are essentially just drivers. And when that all gets automated, those are good paying jobs that will go away. Oh, yeah. Yeah, when you look at like Amazon's warehouse and stuff like that, all those forklifts and things that bring product from point A to point B to point C, those are all automated. That used to be some guy cranking a forklift.

All right, let me get... It still is at your local plumbing supply store, but they're going to go the way of Amazon at some point too. Probably not for a long time. The only reason Amazon could do that is because they're so gigantic. And everybody uses Amazon. Nobody uses Paul's Plumbing enough to warrant getting

$300,000. I just ordered a fucking nipple and a fucking 3-8th inch pipe from Paul's Plumbing. Poor guy. There is a Paul's Plumbing. He sees you saying that. He's like, this motherfucker. He doesn't know how hard I work to build this from the ground up.

My business. Paul Jr. worked his ass off to make this a viable business. I'm looking at Paul right now of 85pauls.com, Paul of Paul Plumbing. I googled Paul's plumbing yeah yeah and I'm gonna say I think the douche is strong with this guy 85 Paul's everyone who works there's Paul that's your stick the whole interview process like you're perfect but I just see that guy front and center and I feel like...

I don't know. Not loving him. I feel like he picked on someone in high school. You don't like his arms. That's what it is. His arms are too muscular. They're intimidating. You immediately think he's gonna be a bad guy.

I bet Paul's a great man. I bet he's a humanitarian. I don't like how he looks like he goes around the country and samples barbecue on the Food Network. He just looks like an ass. Yeah, I can see that. Hey, this is Paul here at, you know, Richie's Crazy Rib House. We're about to go inside and just... I like those shows. Those are some of my favorite shows. Sometimes I like, I watch those shows and I'll pick one of those places and go there. I like to go to those places.

There's a pizza place in Atlanta where they have a carnivore challenge. It was on an episode of Man vs. Food. And you and a partner have X amount of time to consume this pizza. And it's an enormous bucket. I think it's like 10 pounds a person of pizza you've got to eat. And you did that one? Hell no. No.

I attempted that one. Could you solve one thing here for me? I can't figure this out. What does yellow mean service on the truck, on Paul's truck? What the fuck does that even mean? I think yellow's the color of the truck, so when you see yellow, you think service, because we're here. That doesn't even make any sense. Yellow means pissed or scared. even make any sense yellow means pissed

or scared i've never thought yellow means service to me it means caution it's the you know that green means go red means stop and yellow means caution caution don't buy our toilets yeah exactly service he is a douche fuck him him. You're right. Go to Amazon. Sorry, Paul. My bad. It's all an accident. We charge by the job, not by the hour. Wow, how generous of you.

I'm sure that's a discount. We won't lollygag around your kitchen asking for glass after glass of water in hopes of bilking you a little more. I went back and watched Back in the Future 2 today because, you know, it's the day they travel to is October 21st 2015. Real shitty movie. Real shitty movie in retrospect.

Those things just don't hold up for me. Really? I made it about 40 minutes into it. It's on Amazon Prime right now so you can watch for free. I watched 40 minutes of it. I had to Amazon Prime right now, so you can watch for free. I watched 40 minutes of it, and I had to check out. The first one is the only good one. And even that is...

Are you talking about Terminator? Back to the Future. Is the second one the one where Biff has this dystopian future? He's pretty much Donald Trump. No, it's the one where he goes through time to beat up the bully and save the time he was in. No, he gets the sports almanac in the second one and bets on stuff and becomes rich and builds Biff's Casino in the second one.

Taylor, I got your joke. You're saying they all have the same plot. Changes the timeline. Clever. Yeah. It's kind of like Star Wars in that if you go back like i re-watched all those like five years ago the original ones and in my head because i was so into that when i was a kid i was just like these are unassailable masterpieces of cinema like there's i'm gonna go back and watch these and i'm gonna be just as convinced they're really

just not that great when you go back and watch them there's a lot of convincing it's the acting is kind of piss poor two things for me one it's far slower than i remember it if you watch star wars now like there's oh there's way more politics than i remembered and like they're always trying to convince the council to support them for something and i'm like oh my god you're fucking space pirates why are you so concerned with politics and then it was slow and I don't know I remember maybe the acting was

poor but I didn't love it well those are the new ones Raiders of the Lost Ark holds up all of them the new ones are better in my head which will be unpopular as an opinion the new Star Wars not the very new ones but the more current three we've in my head which I will be unpopular as an opinion they use Star Wars the not the very new ones but the more current three we've watched them more recently and the pacing on them is better

I feel like Hayden Christensen's acting is so bad many like complete takes me out of it and what's her name who plays opposite him that's her first fucking movie shoes in and Natalie Portman Natalie Portman yeah it's like her first fucking movie she was in. Natalie Portman? Natalie Portman. Yeah, that's like her first fucking movie she ever did. It's not. She's like 15 there. I mean, I know she did Garden State before that. She was in Professional when she was like 12. Yeah, she's been

a real child actor. I don't know. I guarantee that was like her 30th movie. She sucked. I understand. I didn't think she did a good job and I really thought he did an awful job. I hate it. It was terrible. That's what we want, a whiny Darth Vader.

A whiny crybaby, but with a beard. That's Darth Vader. Dude, and then the actual kid? Fuck him too. That kid got so ruthlessly bullied throughout school that he had to go through therapy and shit. I read an article about it, and it was really boy who played him Anakin in the first now I feel bad quit never acted again

Handle the ridicule I'd like move schools because everybody was giving him shit about how he Potentially ruined one of those lucrative franchises in history But it wasn't until Hayden Christensen came around that I bailed because Even now if I see a movie that I think has an interesting premise, if I see his name is even anywhere near it, not a fucking chance. That guy is an abomination. I was looking at some on-demand movies on the Fios and I read the brief synopsis of the movie and I'm like, oh, that sounds kind of cool. And I click on it and I look and Hayden Christensen, not even a second of consideration before I there was no

way he's going to be in anything good he just looks sullen in every scene oh in this movie Hayden Christensen looks sad in the kitchen and then he looks forlorn in the bedroom and then he looks inquisitive and a bit depressed in the street this would be unpopular but even me Ewan McGregor

if he's not riding a motorcycle I don't want to watch his show. I think he's a decent actor. Can't think of anything I like him in, except for Long Way Down and Long Way Round. He's got that mole that comes out of his face like a full half inch. He's a multi-millionaire, and he hasn't

got that taken care of, so I don't understand that. What was that movie? The Island, I think it was called? that taken care of so i don't understand that what was that movie uh the uh the island i think it was called yeah wasn't he in that one with the chick and and they wind up being like clones and they escape yeah i think that was him that wasn't a bad one yeah but you know what he rides a goddamn motorcycle and it's not see i told her that's how I told her. That's how you know. All right. That's how you know. Oh, I saw you made a video, Anthony,

and it called out SNL for copying a Canadian comedy show, right, that I hadn't seen before. A late ripoff. Oh, so I watched it skeptical. I was like, all right, you know, because I've been accused of copying people before when I was innocent and you know parallel thinking

is what you call it it was in my case it was flat-out true like like it was called duty tips so like you know a couple people released the video on the same day like how to kill this thing or how to do whatever and it's always woody fucking copy these people we come up with different collude conclusions like on how to do it and I'm still copying it might be first i still copied yeah but uh i watched your thing and it was undoubtable it was so completely the same bit the only difference was that snl screwed it up by making it too long but it's the same exact premise and the same jokes. They pulled it off the same way.

Yeah, I don't think that was parallel thinking. No, no. And you're right. The SNL bit, not nearly as funny. Not nearly as funny. It was fast. It got right to the point. It was funny, and then they were out.

It was like three minutes versus seven. The setup was too long. The whole joke was too long. And then they kept going with it. The big punchline at the end was the same. But somehow it wasn't as funny with the SNL one. Like they did it wrong. And the heavy black guy.

What did you call him? Like a comedy black hole where all the funny just gets sucked in. Yeah, just gets sucked in. Every impression he does is like, here's him doing Bill Cosby. I'm Bill Cosby. Here it is. Now, here's him doing Denzel Washington. Oh, I'm Denzel Washington.

Exactly the same character, no matter who he's impersonating. Yeah, just talks out of the side of his mouth a little bit. Yeah, yeah. Like he doesn't quite know he's impersonate yeah just talked out of the side of his mouth a little bit and yeah quite no he's there oh I'm a sketch show all right SNL dude who I don't know your name I feel your pain I do impressions the same way Jimmy Fallon still on SNL he was for a while he has his own show now Jimmy whatever tonight show tonight the host of the Tonight Show. He's the host of the fucking Tonight Show. Has Eddie Murphy moved on? Somebody help me here.

All right, whatever. Phil Hartman was funny last week. That's bad. Oh, man. Belushi killed. So did you see? Oh, I had something. said i want to snl old actors bad impressions oh eddie murphy um so i heard schwarzenegger uh the other day giving an interview and they were talking about uh twins and how like they got a percentage deal on twins

they got uh i think schwarzenegger and DeVito, and one other guy split like 37% of the back end on twins. They made it for like $15 million. It made like $250 million in the box office. Plus, back then, it was VHS sales and rentals, which were gigantic. And so they all cleaned up. Schwarzenegger got the biggest chunk. Like out of that 37, 20 of it was his. So he made like 50 million off twins. And so he was discussing the idea for the sequel to Twins. And in case you don't remember, the idea was that through some genetic engineering, there were two twins and they gave one of them all the positive attributes, the other all the negative. And you ended up with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito.

Well, the premise for the third, second film would be they discovered there was in fact a third a triplet a third brother and that was eddie murphy so they're looking for their black triplet brother eddie they can call it uh they can call it two and three-fifths men so i just ran the math assuming danny devito got that other 17 17 of 252 million is 42 and a half million dollars i didn't know how sexy danny devito was until i realized he was worth 42 million dollars i'd hit it he's worth a lot more than that oh yeah that was just the one movie now he made a lot of money without even having twins pay that twins money.

That penguin money he was rolling around in. He's directed and produced a bunch of shit. He produces a lot of stuff. I see his name in the credits a lot and it won't be something that you would think would come out of it. No, it's something completely different and you're like, what?

DeVito? He just got divorced, didn't he? No, what? DeVito? All right. He just got divorced, didn't he? No, I think they patched it back up. With Rhea Perlman, right? Yeah. Did they patch it back up? I think it's been back and forth.

I'm not sure of the current status. I hope he's doing okay. I don't keep my hand on the pulse of his relationship. But I wish him the best. Me too. That's the thing. So I watch these people. I call out Notch a lot, right?

Notch, if you don't know Anthony, he wrote Minecraft and he got – he's literally a billionaire now with a B. That's unfathomable. But during the time that Minecraft exploded and all this stuff happened, he got divorced. And I'm like, I don't think I – that's rough, man. He's not happy. He's not happy now. We talked about this a couple weeks ago and i had a lot of fun laughing at the fact that there's this billionaire on twitter crying about like not being able to have any fun

and i'm it's just like you just need a fun a fun advisor a fun coordinator that's all you need and it would cost you such an infinitesimal amount of money just give me like half a million dollars a year and pay for everything i do and we'll travel the world, and I guarantee every day will be fun. I'll have fun shit planned four months in advance. With that much money, you delegate responsibility to people that you're not as good at doing something, so you hire people to do it. If you're not good at having fun, I'm certain there are people out there that could assist you in your fun. That is a sad story.

Holy shit. I can't imagine being sad on my show today. Jim Florentine's a comic. And we were talking about divorce and shit like that. And I went through a divorce years ago. Never had any kids or anything. So it was awful, right? Done with.

I was talking about crazy ex-girlfriends that like still give you shit years later and you get like you have nothing to do with them anymore leave me alone so he's like yeah well i have a kid with my ex-wife so uh you know i'm pretty much connected with her for the rest of the life and i'm like i would absolutely consider killing the child like so you wouldn't have to have a connection with the wife couldn't you just kill the wife well they might suspect you for that you could pull some shit with the kid you know some fucking crib death i don't know what do you think the best way is and are we like fuck you know i hear i hear that that once you have a kid you like love it unconditionally i hear that once you have a kid, you love it unconditionally. I hear that.

And that's fine. But my thinking right now is, you know, yeah. Oh, I dropped it. Yeah. Oh, shit. An accident is terrible. They think a fair amount of that SIDS is just murder. You know, that sudden infant death syndrome.

Yeah. Or just negligence. They don't want to tell the mom or dad you can't take a nap with it and be on top of it for 40 minutes and expect to just roll back over and everything's hunky-dory. You want to hear a sad story? I went to high school with this guy.

He was a couple years younger than me. He was one of my sister's friends, actually, but he was really heavy. He was 6'4", well over 300 pounds. He was an enormous person, but he was also just really overweight and uh he he got this pug puppy and uh it was sleeping in the bed with him and like he rolled over it and onto it in the night and smothered it and he so he wakes up the next morning and he's lying on top of this dead puppy and he has smothered it and i was just thinking

like yeah like i can just imagine like he could do that to you if you were a little girl. I feel like this guy is so big. Like, I can just imagine that poor puppy, and this guy just rolls over, and the puppy's like, yeah, that's Warren, boss. And then it's Warren. And then it's Warren. And then it's Warren. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

And then this guy just never knows it. What a depressing way to end. Even a little puppy, though. I just... It never knows it. What a depressing way to end. Even a little puppy, though. How much spare flesh do you have to have that, like, you can just put it on top of something that large and substantive? Like, the size of two fists and not notice it, not wake you up.

It's disgusting. Big boy. I mean, it's like the princess with the pee under her mattress, I think. This is a big man. Like, he wouldn't have noticed a pug. That's why you get great Danes. You ever look down and find a little piece of lint in your belly button?

This guy looks down and finds Cheetos in there. Just to be able to hold up the situation. Hold it out. So sad. You'd feel so awful waking up. He did. He really loved the dog. He actually loves animals.

I think he became a veterinarian afterwards. It was a real low point, I feel like, in his life when he smothered that poor puppy. Do you think that's how he explains it later? I just literally loved him to death. I don't think he likes to talk about it.

Hey, you remember that dog? Whatever that pug you had. Yeah. All his friends bring it up when they're drinking on like 4th of July. Hey, remember that time you smothered that dog to death? There are people here who don't know. Hey, keep your dog away from this guy. Let me tell you something.

He's going to love this. I have a new topic. So we talked about money solving happiness problems. Check this one out. So Richard Hammond had apparently some sort of long-running feud with his neighbor. He's the short guy from Top Gear. And he had pony – there were all sorts of disputes about noise, about animals being there, including ponies.

Apparently he routinely flew his helicopter over his neighbor's house, and the noise and wind and stuff was bothering him. So he ended the feud by buying their house for 1.2 million pounds, which I guess is, what, almost $2 million? Over $2 million. And, yeah, so he was like, ah, $2 million, fuck it, your house is mine.

And now the problem is solved. The best part is, the house he bought is a goddamn castle. Yeah, yeah. I'll just flip it over. Don't picture a country cottage that he was just like buying them out. He bought their fucking castle. This guy looks like he's lord of the castle rock or something over there. It's the goddamn castle he's living in.

Yeah. I like that. We discussed that. Like, what he was looking for a house. They describe it as a six-bedroom castle. It is. There's a picture there. Yeah.

I'm showing it to everybody. Oh, okay. It's, uh, I remember you and I were discussing, like, whenever you were, uh, gonna get a new house or you had house fever or whatever you want to call it. This is, like, two years ago, maybe. But we were looking at castles. Yeah. Because that's a thing that you can do.

You can purchase a castle and it's affordable compared with, you know, other houses, I guess. If there were castles in this area, I seriously would have considered a castle. It seems pretty badass to have a castle. I would love a castle. I feel like I would go Super Game of Thrones with it. I'd get some, like, some of those shields, like ornate shields with the swords crossed on them next to the doors and stuff. There'd be a moat. Would you have big, like, uh, sconces on the wall with, like, long, old-timey candles that had melted down? Torches. Torches! Yeah.

Like, those old- that you can grab off and beat up someone down. Oh, yeah. I wonder what it'd be like. So you would modernize- you would- wouldn't modernize the inside of it? Some of it, yeah. I wonder what it'd be like, right? I picture myself as a castle owner, constantly running around with a caulk gun like you're trying to save money on air conditioning. It's like, oh, you can see through the

brick and mortar here. You have to hold the candle up to the cracks in the brick to see where the drafts come in. Where the air flows out and still yeah pressurize the home and i'm just caulking everywhere i would hope that they would use mortar and you know that insulation wouldn't be a problem and that maybe i i my my dream scenario would be that like maybe it's super efficient right like maybe a stone castle is great at keeping heat in and air and staying cool in the summer and warm in the winter.

You really think it is? I bet the windows are like 185 years old. I want a brand new castle, though. That's what you want. You don't want some 16th century castle. You want a 21st century castle. I bet this much fiberglass insulation is better than 8 feet

of stone. I bet this much fiberglass insulation is better than eight feet of stone. I bet it is. Yeah. I bet the stone is just whatever temperature it is and you don't get a choice. Yeah. If it's like zero outside, you touch the back of the stone on the inside, it's zero. Yeah.

A 100% efficient transfer. Yeah. Like 100 gallons of propane won't change the interior temperature of the castle. Oh, that's great. It just is what it is. Yeah. I can't come in today. I have typhus. Scurvy.

Yeah, keep going down. I have the scurvy. Oh, I got smallpox from my castle. Fucked. I didn't know that shit could live for like 400 years. Well, I have to do a house tour. You know why I haven't done a house tour? Some people will care about this.

This is it. So I got these boom mics, right? And they're totally badass. These things light up when you're on the air. I'm probably too far from my mic. I saw it on the Joe Rogan podcast, and I was gonna just buy him. I was like, yeah, I'm moving, I need a new boom mic,

let's set it all up. But, I've never done this before. This is the, what's it called, XLR cable? And you have to like weld it and put your own ends on and stuff. And because they gave him, they're like, all right, so tell me what you want so i start decking it out like i want your extra large two of everything i don't know how i'm gonna mount it

so give me two of all your mounts and and uh it worked out to be about 1500 and i was like hey when i do my house tour i'll do kind of a shout out and and tell people you know about the boom mics and stuff and uh i just the reason that the whole thing is held up on soldering those goddamn xlr cables i don't know how to set them up or how to do it my wife solders jewelry so i'm like help me with this and uh it just hasn't happened yet that's the that's the hold up i bet you get an electrician out there and like 50 later it'd be over i seriously doubt that i i only because i had an electricianian install surround sound speakers in my family room, and it was $1,500.

Motherfuckers. That seems to be the going rate for anything you need. Yeah, right? I think it was actually $1,600. It was $1,684. I remember it. It cost a bundle. But I was just like, fuck it. You'll do it cost a bundle but i was just like fuck it you know

you'll do it today yeah all right fucking make it happen wow soldering's not not all that difficult especially at just a jack it's not like you know you got a a pc board that you're you know solder that's it next party me and my boom mics are coming over like anthony all right i'm here i got a quick favor chase each other around with the soldering iron that's i i've never done it they have these like little arms that hold everything i'm like i know my wife has that so whatever we'll get it working at some point i don't know how to do it i'm looking forward to that i want to see uh because you know I've seen some of your Day in the Life videos,

and I get the gist, I guess, of the layout a little bit. A lot of cool stuff going on there, but I'm looking forward to seeing the whole thing, seeing the layout and everything. Then I can plan my invasion. You can plan your invasion. I'll have my window open and all that stuff. That makes perfect sense. Yeah.

The more it gets delayed, the more it gets furnished too, which is nice we yeah i guess i you want to talk i saw your uh woody wednesday video with your i want to talk about that chair that looked like a fancy chair it is a fancy chair tell me how much that chair cost it was on super sale the chair was like three thousand dollars marked down to 1250 we got two of them yeah like kitty and i were watching it kitty and i were watching it and i and i was like see that chair she's like yeah i guarantee that fucking chair costs at least 1500 i was like that's a fancy chair i can tell it my mom bought it so um uh yeah well i don't

mean to call out my mom but um what happened is she had forgotten a couple of events like christmases and things like that and um she came over for the first time you know they say in the guest house and everything and she was she was going to get us a housewarming i guess slash christmas present or something like that and um they you know she took my wife out furniture shopping and uh they you know that was the chair they got two chairs what's so special about this chair i didn't see it uh it just looks like a throne i guess it's not that amazing or anything but it actually it's pretty amazing i really like the chairs it looks like it's made out of some rare like albino cowhide or i i think it's fabric but it's all like like there's woodwork on the

back that you haven't seen it's uh It's a pretty pimp chair. I like it a lot. It dresses up the whole room. It makes it more elegant. Part of my house, we call it the Game of Thrones room. It has these I think the ceilings are like 18 or 22 feet tall or something. They're stupid. But then the other part

of the house is almost like farm college cottage. So we wanted to bring that up so it wasn't so disconnected like decorating wise and the chairs were part of that strategy chair doesn't do anything well it blows you there's that no it's a cool chair holders are like a cooler i was expecting features not it's part mini fridge fridge. No, it's just a high-class chair. And, yeah. Like, dude, a lot of people talked about the chair in the comments of that thing.

And then there's, like, they're referencing me looking like Mr. Burns with his cup and whatever. But, yeah, I started a new series. It's funny. People acted like I left YouTube. And I see where they're coming from. I certainly do less than I did before. it's it's funny people acted like i left youtube and i see where they're coming from i certainly do less than i did before but still on any given week i'm pumping out like five to six hours worth of content and uh like jenna marbles for example pumps out like five to seven minutes of content

every week but no one says she quit youtube because that's what she's always done but everyone said i did but now i'm back i, because I have a scheduled show. I've never seen her. Oh, Jenna Marbles is a super popular YouTuber. I'm teasing, of course. I know exactly what she looks like. I've known her for years. My mistake. Yeah.

That is the reason she's popular. Exactly. It's not for the poignant ideas. And, you know, my take on our current economic situation is yeah i think i found some stuff to be pretty witty and funny and smart um i think that's what because there's hot girls are a dime a dozen there's plenty of them on youtube i like i like that miss hannah mink's chick who always had the like camera angle where she's looking up at you like you're about to finish on her face and she's got she's got she's listening i'm sorry i'm speaking so offensive i'm just in love with

you but she's got these enormous enormous jugs look at let me get you a picture of miss hannah yeah i was obsessed for the longest time it it was and she does if i remember to if i remember correctly like she had this thing called like jWoww, which was like the Japanese word of the day or something. I don't even know if that acronym makes sense, but she's, she's, oh God. Link it! They're honestly, they're like kettlebells. She must be in great shape.

I'm gonna. Kyle says he's not a slow linker. I decided to pick an individual video rather than just her channel. That seemed to make more sense. Oh God, they're all so good though. I've watched a couple. So I know exactly the... I'm gonna go by most popular and maybe we'll get a good one.

Yeah, here we go. Here we go. She's gonna exercise I think. Oh, I remember that... Was her name Charlie Summers or something? That chick you just exercised? Yeah, Charlie James 1975. I love that you're an expert.

Yeah, I've seen her. It's outrageous. This is every video. It's every video. It's just boobs. Constantly. And they are gargantuan. And they're just jiggling around in there.

It's great. It's one of the best channels on youtube i think damn ads 10 million views for that that's her most popular she's doing push-ups uh when you get to 40 seconds that's like half the work for her that is totally the finish on her face camera angle like it's kind of funny wow the push-ups are humor oh it's great she's you know I got it lay on her back by the time you get to a minute super she could really step up her form in terms of push-ups I feel like she's not getting all the way down and she's kind of cameling with her butt there trying to finish here in this minute

Trying to finish here in this minute and 20 seconds. Very flattering camera angle. Accidental, I'm sure. They're all exactly like that. There's not a whole lot of content. I mean, there just really isn't. She seems personable enough, but the thing is, she's pretty fucking hot and she's got enormous tits. And she's just shaking them all the time. Ah, it's great. It's great. Her skirts like coming up here. It's Channel is based around her just being sexy. Her tits are like when you know if you took a ball of Mercury and put it in the palm of your hand it moves like mercury. Yeah, that's how you know they're fucking real.

Yeah, that's how they're supposed to be. Hey look great. I've been scouring the internet I've been scouring the internet for years to try to find some dudes of her I would be willing to start a Kickstarter program to Fund such a thing like like if we could get her to do some sort of topless video for a dollar amount I don't want your dreams to be shattered because it won't hold up it won't man i i forget who i saw naked recently it was like a hatcher that's a good example but that's not it was olivia wilder olivia munn i think they might be the same person it was olivia wild that you saw was she standing in the doorway yeah and then she kind of ran away yeah yeah she's kind of like puts her arm up she's topless but they strategically cover her vagina at the end of clip, she actually ran down the hall.

Okay. I didn't see that part of the clip. Mine was shorter. Huh. It sounds like it might have the same beginning, though. Yeah. And I saw her naked. And while she's beautiful and everything, you strip someone completely naked, and it's

hard for them to maintain the unrealistic thing nothing can compete with the imagination yeah yeah and she was having a hard time agreeing really I Anthony way in here what do you think there are some girls that look really hot with their clothes on and they look really how they close off but it's it's uh yeah you could tell it's like oh you look better with your clothes on it's like it's a great butt but not as great as it was when it was like structured and framed with that underwear it's a it's a nice hourglass but not as perfect as it was when it was structured and framed though i'd rather see any girl naked

than with clothes on so yes yes yeah yeah that's true that's true approach i think that our entire society should be that way women should always be naked clothes should be forbidden to them um i see nothing wrong with this for them for everyone you know let's know no no I've tried to get that going you know I please get called every time nuts nudist colonies are a weird thing like those things still exist and there's still a whole thing it's it's sort of like an underground thing like like deep do it do any of us know any nudists any naturalist people who like go out and live this lifestyle? Never have. I don't either.

You'd think you would have known somebody. But I think it's more of a European thing, isn't it? Well, I don't know about that. But I know they have lots of new beaches there, right? Especially in France. I guess that's a thing. But I'm talking about nudist colonies where people go to live with their family and everybody's naked and stuff. That always looks like some cover-up for pedophilia. I watched a news i just love feeling free you know and all the kids

they like yeah they're free too and i what was weird for me was like so i watched and asked me anything yeah i read and asked me anything on reddit and the guy was a nudist this is a while back and uh they're like isn't it weird seeing like your mom and your sister naked all the time he's like no and like but like legit, you know how they handle their pubes. And he's like, yep. Sister shaves it. Mom walks, rocks a racing stripe. It's just whatever.

And I'm like, man, like shit, as sexually open as my parents were, and they were, I don't think I know how my mom rocks her pubes. No. That's something you want kept behind the curtain. You don't need that revealed to you. And it seems like if they're a nudist, if you met one, it seems like they'd be vegetarians or vegans where you know immediately.

Where it's like, hey, what's your name? Oh, I'm Ted the Vegetarian. Where they bring it up first opportunity. You'd think that would be something like that. Or he's renamed himself to something really lame he's like oh i'm ted oak tree ted of the forest and then what's the overlap between nudists and swingers right is is there a big overlap there why would you think that yeah what really i mean if you walk around naked all the time then there's a certain amount of openness and sharing you think that nudists

and swingers no correlation nah how do you handle sports in that like society like you can't do any kind of contact sports i feel like that those well i feel like they're saying that like you know for day-to-day life who needs all these all these clothes but i'm sure if they were going to play like some sort of contact sport like they want the pads right like that that's that's those things necessitate clothing like i bet if they're out there working on an oil rig they're not butt ass naked they put on their fucking flame retardant gear and a helmet and shit like i don't think they take it that far when they're not a nudist colony it always seems like every day there's these wacky activities that you'd never do clothed like if you were just going to some camp for a couple of weeks or something,

every day there's some swimming or body painting event or some other garbage that has to be done. And volleyball, all that stuff. Just because they're naked. The daily 3 p.m. jump rope off. Yeah, exactly. Shit like that. I want to be the camp counselor. I want to be the guy in charge of activities. Yeah, exactly. Shit like that. I want to be the camp counselor. I want to be the guy in charge of

activities. Yeah. I think they're a little more perverse than they're letting on to. Yeah. It could just be an outlet for them to be perverted while pretending that it's like, I'm just acting like Gaia made me, man. There's probably some outliers like that, but it just seems like they're so

committed to that lifestyle that if they were just a bunch of perverts, I feel like that would get weeded out really quickly. The weird dudes would get pushed out of the community until you just had a bunch of hippies and naturalists who just wanted to be one with nature and walk around balls out. I don't know.

I don't feel like that would bring you any closer to nature. Have you ever went walking naked in the wilderness or anything? In the meadow? No, because I'm not a fool and I didn't live 150,000 years ago before.

Solid reasoning. That's the way to go. Think of the thorns and the thistles out in the wilderness though. Chiggers, parasites, bugs. You can't go walking around Georgia. Where do you put your holster? That's a good question. I feel like the Western holsters would still work right The ones that just hang on your hips Yeah, only one place to conceal carry

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Join Dollar Shave Club right now by going to dollarshaveclub.com slash pka today. That's dollarshaveclub.com slash pka. Link in the description. Nicely done. I am a big fan of those razors. I use those things exclusively because I have so many

so fucking many now they they send that sleeve that sleeve every month uh on the on the dot and i've just got plenty of them now i'll never be out because i don't shave every day i don't keep up with the amount they send me and uh and jackie and i share it too and i like you i have i don't know i'm 20 ahead i'm in excellent shape. I don't shave my face. I shave other areas. And so they really hold up well, um, for the long haul. I talked to my cousin and I was talking about my deodorant because I got a new deodorant and I didn't realize it, but I was getting like the white stick deodorant instead of the clear gel, which I prefer. And it was like clumping and it was all itchy. And I was telling my cousin about this and I was like, yeah,

this bullshit solid deodorant is like clumped together and like the hairs are stuck together, I think. So when I stretch, it like pulls the hair and it's itchy and stuff. And he's like, oh yeah, I had that. He's like, shave my armpits now. He takes a beard trimmer, goes over his armpits. He's like, problem solved. I think I'm going to do that.

I think I'm switching to shaving them off. I think that's going to be more comfortable. That's a bold move right there. That's a whole other category of shaving. I don't think I'm going to use a razor. That's certainly too far. But I'm definitely going to take my beard trimmer. No, I don't mean that.

I mean even just trimming. And I don't mean physically or anything. I mean just a mental jump. And just letting your friends know. You can tell your friends, me my chick we shaved our fucking shit and i or shave it girls like it better but the armpits area is like all right dude what what are you doing really getting into swimming couldn't commit to the legs yet i've already yeah yeah how far do you have to go from the armpit to the fucking chest and the legs yeah i like to shave uh shave

the tops of my feet obviously and uh it's good that you do that toes i hope uh the toes too because you know what will happen like i've seen what happens when you pull your socks on like the hair on my feet will get bit backwards like in the opposite direction that the follicle grows so like it would it would hurt It would get sore. Wow. His toe hair isn't normal. It's like Neanderthal. I saw it first at a paintball event years ago.

The toe hairs are just out of control. It's like a bunch of little sprigs. That is not it. He has shaved those. He's maintaining his toe hairs. In old school, each one of them would have's like a bunch of little sprigs. That is not it. He has shaved those. He's maintaining his toe hairs. Because in old school, each one of them would have been like a head of hair for each toe. That's not that bad.

It was. Yeah, you could style them. Yeah, but I've done a little trimming. Not like down to probably like half an inch long. And you do notice a significant decrease in sweating, but then you also like notice in the mirror whenever, when you're putting on deodorant, like I kind of look like a bitch a little bit. Yeah.

I don't care. Less masculine. I think that's going to be less maintenance now. I'm going to, I'm going to do that. That's the way to go. And if you're really hairy, like I have a really hairy chest,

like it, it suddenly is very obvious. Like if you have a very sparsely haired chest, you can pull it off with a shorter go here. But if you're really hairy and you lift up your arm and there's a little bit there, it's like that guy's hair shaves his arm. I've got the worst possible thing.

My least favorite chest hair pattern is my own. And it is some chest hair in the middle. It's not horrible. But more concentrated on the nipples. Oh, you've got to shave that. Oh, yeah. But you try to shave it in such a delicate way that it doesn't look like you just did nipple shaving because that's the opposite problem now you've got like bald nipples and chest hair in the middle or so it it looks like you're just bad at maintaining a chest pattern so i try to empathize so much with that you're so right because it's

just a thicket here and i for a while i'd be like going like deftly around here and then look in the mirror and be like you know that looks that looks awful looks like an owl has given me the the you know now they're like staring at you right you just got a face on your chest and it's not good well i take a razor and uh and shave the nipples and but i've just got like a streak of hair that goes down the middle that's like that wide so there's no so it already looks manicure yeah yeah i don't have a lot of hair out here or anything i just have a little sort of evenly populated i'd say across the pecs and then just two guys looking at you. You know, like eyebrows on my nipples. And I got to cut them down so that it doesn't look like I cut them down.

It's not easy to pull off. It's a real, you know, it's like a SEAL Team 6 mission, you know, very precise. You go in there with a scalpel and do it properly. Did you shave your chest when you were younger? Me? Only for swimming. For swimming, you know the old school, like, 90s swimsuits that they wore, the just little banana holsters?

Whatever that didn't cover would get shaved clean. Okay. Yeah, from head to toe. Wow. Jesus. So that's everything. Legs and everything? Legs, arms, armpits, face, hair on your head, everything. You just be hair-free.

So you look like you just came out. You're like Keanu Reeves when they saved him from the Matrix. Yeah. They bring him out of that pod. He's all weak and pale. Full-on chemo, but with abs. I tried shaving my whole chest once because why not why not give it a go years ago and it looked okay for like seven hours until it started to regroup and then for like the next

seven hours like uh like a man's face right after it's been shaved it was just rough and like it was sticking through my shirts i guess my first brazilian i looked like a jackass and i did it in the middle of the summer like a like a tard so i'd have to go out to our pool and swim and it's just little my first brazilian jiu-jitsu instructor shaved his chest but he seemed to shave it like every two weeks so it was in a constant state of like weaponization where like like, a woman must endure when she kisses a guy with, like, you know, the scratchy beard. And, you know, he would just, like, chest you.

And it's awful. And you're just like, oh my god, this is terrible. Yeah, just fucking weaponized chest hair. Sure, that wasn't an excuse to, like, be rubbing his chest all over the guys he was wrestling. Like, oh, you know, it's just so I can, you know, get a little edge in this fight so here's a question yeah so we have often talked about how brazilian jiu-jitsu like a big part of it is is being real close with another dude you just got

to accept that going in and just just just get with it like that's what we're doing here you know a lot of the positions mimic sexual positions they're almost i almost to the t there's a 69 it's called north south there's missionary it's called guard and there's others yeah yeah you remove the clothing and we're ready to go pretty much but do you think there are any guys who get into it just because they're into that do you think there's any guys ever been like man there's a lot of hot guys in here training jiu-jitsu i oh that's what they're doing? All right. Pin me. Pin me. And you think they're guys who get in it just for that? No, but I have had a theory about this. It's related to it.

So no one I ever worked out with seemed to be like into it in a gay way. But what is it? The five languages of love? There's like some people like gifts, some people like quality time, some people like words of affirmation, some people like physical touch and some people like gifts. Some people like quality time. Some people like words of affirmation. Some people like physical touch. And some people like something else. I don't know. I'm a physical touch guy. If you love me, show me by blowing me. It's my favorite way to receive love.

From the wife to the office. It's all around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's not just a sex thing either. Like Colin is always wanting to wrestle and hit you or whatever whereas um like my brother for example i don't think he was like that and anyway some people like gifts i think my daughter prefers quality time above all else and um uh but i think that the people who get into brazilian jiu-jitsu are just a little more

touchy like you know how many teenage guys have relationships with a rough house it's not gay they're just hitters and wrestlers and whatever like joe lozon the ufc fighter before he was a fighter they were like fighting on trampolines and uh like some guys are just more like hit touch oriented or, you know, if it's with the girls, they're more, you know, hug, kiss oriented. And it's not just about quality time or gifts or words of affirmation or

those other things. So, um, counterpoint to that though, when I was in seventh and eighth grade, I was on the wrestling team and there was like, you'd have to roll with people every day. And it was after school or whenever.

And the coach would be going around, like telling you what to do and what not to do and there was one guy who was near my weight class but thankfully like i think maybe like eight pounds lighter than me so i never had to wrestle him every day without fail until he quit like a month and a half in he would get an erection when wrestling one one other specific guy Only one other guy. He was A-OK until he was like, alright, Rob, go roll with Josh. Everybody's like, alright, well,

let's see where this goes. Then you'd have to just let him get pinned down and then go over there and sit in that little like, you know, I'm in 8th grade and I have a boner position. What position is that? Hunched over. You just sit there hunched over with your like legs up against your chest in the corner of the gym and everybody knew they don't call you

uh at first it was more of just like a does that could see see over right now i can't tell because we didn't we weren't wearing like singlets like we were young enough that they were just like all right just shorts and t-shirt with the school's name on it or whatever and wrestle around so he could he could obfuscate the Bulger bit, but it got to the point later that it was very apparent. Do wrestlers wear cups? No. In Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, some do, some don't.

Yeah. It ruined his high school career. It's awful. His social career or his wrestling career? Social. Wrestling had to be nipped at the butt. Did they come up with a name for him? Was it like Brad the Boner or something? You're like, mostly we just called him Faggot.

There was a guy on my high school football team, and I won't give away the poor fellow's name, but he was a big human, and he was fat. His alignment of some sort offensive defensive i don't know but uh in the locker room it became clear that he had a micro penis and at first i didn't believe it i thought that uh that didn't believe it like you didn't think it was real or didn't believe it like getting the eyepiece out i just simply can't didn't believe it like i thought they were giving him a hard time or maybe like

on the spectrum of like 0 to 100 he was like you know a third or something yeah you know so it was like alright it's a little smaller than normal but it's you know it's whatever no dude like his penis was the size of my head like it was

like a button on a fur coat yeah yeah like an upside down acorn I saw I didn't see it hard was the size of my head. It looked like a button on a fur coat. Yeah, yeah. Like an upside-down acorn. I didn't see it hard, but I saw it flaccid eventually. We had Jim maybe the next year or something in the same period. And, yeah, dude, like I've seen a lot of cock. Anthony doesn't know, but I'm quite the connoisseur. And this guy, I've seen a real live micropenis.

And it was just, the head seemed almost normal size, really. But maybe a little small. But the fact that there was nothing. I was getting the shaft as far as well. The shaft, if it's there, it was completely internal. It was awful. I can't imagine. Like, I'm not a, I was never a sports guy in school or anything.

And as far as wrestling went, it was part of the curriculum in regular gym class, PE and shit like that. So when we had to do it, I was out in a second. One time, I think it was the first time, some kid that was good at wrestling, he grabs me around my neck and shoulders on the front and then just grabbed my my cock and balls from Underneath and lifted me up It was it that was all I never wanted to be involved in anything like that ever again Well, I stuck at it for years so they That's when I knew.

When they grabbed my cock and balls and lifted me up, I was like, I feel my actual body. What are you playing on his back? You have to make me tap. I wore a cup for two reasons. One was it was almost weaponization. If you want to armbar someone and your cup sticks out like that, you can get better leverage on it,

and your testicles will never in the wrong spot. Like it just held them right and you could just use that and it was good. The other is I liked that it gave me this like layer of separation. Now all of a sudden, there would be girls that would like join and drop out immediately, but if you ever did roll with them,

the cup was like, I don't know, some sort of layer, I like that it separated my junk from the other people. Isn't that the only time where you wouldn't want it? Yeah, right? You're like, quick, got to run back to the, you know, locker room real quick. Take the cup off? No, no.

I never felt comfortable rolling with the girls. I didn't at all. I didn't feel like we should. I never had to either. I didn't. I was way too big. I was a lot taller than they are. So I guess height seemed to be like the determining factor most of the time when they picked who I was going to roll with.

I see the shorter guys going with the girls, and I was just like, that's not working. He's not going full speed because he's afraid he's going to grab her titty right now, clearly. She's just going to sit there and breathe heavily on him for the next five minutes. And it wasn't that they weren't good. The girls were better than me. They probably would have kicked my ass. They'd been there for months and months and i was new but like i just felt like i i would

i'd be like let me just try to not grab like there's a huge portion of your body now that i feel inappropriate grabbing onto but if it was a dude like i'd grab anything i can get a hold of like there was there's the thing with wrestling like where we even in like eighth grade when i still did it we'd go to the meets and whatever and it was you know didn't take it seriously because it was middle school but every time you'd see a chick from like a different school come out it was like oh please not me because there's no winning that fight i either beat the shit out of them and i feel bad or they beat me and i'm eternally mocked but i was too big to fight them and it was understood with every other guy in the weight class below me that would have to fight the girls that you kind of just you

know go 70 except for one dude who the first time he went out there to wrestle a chick he like you look at the chicks like man to even be out here they must have some kind of technique no not at all this was a short overweight girl who just wanted to try something and this guy beat the shit out of her for like seven straight minutes to the point that people from other parents were watching this match. Just like the slight clapping of moms was replaced with like horrified gas. She's got a bloody nose. So when I rolled with girls, I would just give whatever it took to win. I would just barely win every single time.

I'm not going to let them lose, but even if they had better technique than me, I was strong enough that, that, uh, with the exception of this one woman, Tara La Rosa, who's world-class, they, I would just win and whatever it took. But, um, there was one guy, he was new. He was an army guy, right? So he comes in there, he's got like his army shirt on. And, and, uh, the truth is all the military guys couldn't fight for shit they all suck because they don't actually know how to fight well at least not hand to hand you know they're i'm sure they're great with a gun but um my experience army cop prison guards the whole thing none of them could fight for shit but army guys had good wind they had tremendous

cardio and this guy came in and every guy in the gym kicked his ass, and it was starting to hurt his feelings. And then he goes up against a girl, and it was brutal. He was, like, elbowing her and just, like, grinding shit. And it was, like, I felt like he was reasserting his dominance. Like, all right, maybe every guy in this gym kicks my ass, but this girl's getting a smackdown. And she did. And the instructor had him after that.

And it was just like punishment time. He didn't even do jits on him much. He just did takedowns. He slammed him and he let him up again. He'd slam him. He let up again. The guy didn't want to get up anymore, but the time hadn't expired. The coach is, come on, let's go.

And he would just pick him up and slam him again until he just it was awful i'll teach you to win you know it's just he clearly picked on a girl like that's what happened like he he i don't i guess he did beat her yeah but um he did it by being so rough you know elbow on the throat and things like that and uh yeah the instructor got him next and just did takedowns it was awful you think until the pc police makes it so that the like the ufc has to let a man fight a woman in the name of like equality and then the twitter will be all the buzz of like uh you know you know hashtag go stacy or whatever and then it's just going to be a bloodbath. Because it's going to happen. People are going to demand that for so long.

Next day it's hashtag RIP Stacy. No, they already did that. I don't want to beat this topic up again. That wasn't UFC though. Like that man did to that. Oh, it wasn't UFC. The transgender MMA fighter. Fallon is her name.

Not the big one. Okay. He's a man. The first 25 years of his life. Then he decides he wants to beat up some women so he just flips the switch and just destroyed them because he spent the first 25 years of his life being a man

with man's bone structure muscularity muscularity musculature. And just destroyed those women. seems to be like a good panacea for life problems can't beat people up turn into a woman and do it kill someone with your car recklessly turn into a woman suddenly you're a hero like just flip that switch you know keep that in your pocket just in case he went i'm sorry she went five and one it looks like let's

see yeah her career is probably over she hasn't fought this year shocking that she lost one yeah ashley evan smith i don't know her it was for the women's featherweight tournament final so she almost became the cfa champion i don't know cfa but um but yeah she was good um i i don't like that. You know, what if she had more talent and became the champ? I think there's a huge advantage of being a guy for your first 25 years. Oh, hell yeah. Well, of course.

Yeah. Anyone with half a brain would argue that. Like, that just wasn't fair to those other women that she was, like, breaking their orbital sockets and putting them in the hospital. It's like, how about you just fuck off and let them have their tournament here and you go do something else like like just let them have this what if there's a whole what if there were a whole fight team of like transsexuals and that was their thing it was like it was like team domestic uh violence or something like that like they're all guys who who had like been like spurned somehow by women in their lives like bad divorces and such and they're like you know what fuck it i'm devoting the rest of my life to

beating up women the legal way and they all become transsexuals and that's their thing if there were a trans uh gender like fight league that would take off dude like everyone would want to watch that just they said that about midgets, but everybody feels bad. Nobody wants to look. I'm looking at this woman's record. I didn't realize it was as lopsided as it was. Like, her first fight, I can't find details on it, but she won in the first round after two minutes. Technical knockout by injury.

Like, I don't know what the fuck. Yeah, that was the orbital bone. No, her most recent fight. Here, I'll read it to you. She fought against a woman named tamika brentz brent suffered a concussion an orbital bone fracture and seven staples to her head after her loss brett took to social media and and fueled the controversy around her perceived advantage i fought a lot of women i fought a lot of women and i've never felt the strength i've never felt the strength that I felt in the fight that I did that night. I can't answer whether it's because she was born a man or not because I'm not a doctor.

I can only say I've never felt so overpowered in my life and I'm an abnormally strong female in my own right. Her grip was different. I could usually move around the clinch against other women, but I couldn't move at all in Fox's clinch. We've talked about this so many times. different. I could usually move around the clinch against other women, but I couldn't move at all in Fox's clinch. Yeah, that's... We've talked about this so many times. Plus, it's a guy. Dude. Yeah, that's...

Jesus. I've heard Rogan talk about that quite a few times. He really spells it out, the physicality of the whole thing and how you know i don't care what you want to call a transgender person after they go through their procedure but you know the bones don't change the hormones do only so much the the muscle distribution is different and uh you, you're fighting a man.

In the same way that if someone does steroids for 10 years then stops, they're still a super person, you know, because of their experience. Check out this fight. I'm just going to turn the audio off. Oh, this is not UFC. No, this is most definitely not UFC. But cue up at zero. Can we read the title for the people uh overweight ratchets get slapped by ghetto thug volume alert so it's gonna be really loud so turn

it down yeah in my case I've heard the volume there's nothing to be gained from it I promise you I'm just gonna play it uh quietly are you guys ready yeah three two one play so uh there's a guy yelling at these women if i remember right it's something like then you hit her you hit her you hit her and he's trying to encourage these two women to fight and eventually one of them says well you hit me and he obliges it's coming up watch him take out two women in a heartbeat everybody mad about they don't tell you you don't get the background info it's too like what it's coming really soon boom boom that's it that's all the fighting. Two punches, two knockouts. That woman's still getting up.

Having a tough time getting up. She's down. And that's it. It's about over. So that guy wanted them to fight, and then he just got tired of waiting, so he started his own fight? Yeah. It seemed like, yeah, there was some sort of conflict which isn't spelled out it happened before the the cameras were rolling and then he was telling woman like you hit her you

hit her you hit her and then the woman's like you hit me and he's like okay then and but it doesn't go to it's a lot more that was cool because he hit the one woman there and then he came back this way. He was technically two birds with one stone. It was kind of a hit and a drag. That was awesome. As if they lined up their chins and he was like... That was the only way to improve upon that. Every time I see videos like that online, no matter what the situation is and it's getting filmed it's like i can't imagine being in a situation like that for more than 10 seconds

and not thinking like you know what i i gotta get out of here like i i gotta not be around this for when the police come like i don't even want to be like you you you were there in that live leak video or you were there on world star where these like they allow the big brutal fights like why would you want to stick around there's nothing to be gained if if hypothetically i was in the center of one of these things my first response is always like let's reason this out wait a minute if if he's this mad he's probably mistaken about what i did like i you know like oh oh no no i wasn't the one that did like hit your car that wasn't me key your car I didn't do that you know like it just just clear out whatever the confusion is that has this gentleman so upset and that that's

how I picture it going down no one responds that way see live leak and like videos uploaded where it starts out like a bunch of people getting hyped up. And then guys are like, now, now, let's air the grievances. Let's get everything out in the open. And then they agree, shake, and walk away. Nobody's going to watch that video. The title of the video is never Calm Conversation Diffuses Potential. Oh, I've seen this.

I guess you guys just watched this. Yeah, we just finished that. Very good. I really loved his technique He had the wham It was like a Mortal Kombat move And the backhand was more effective than the cross in the throw yeah I really like seeing that woman crumple up in front of that minivan or whatever.

I don't know why, but when I see people who are just real, just something about her was just infuriating me, the way she just kept jibber-jabbering. I couldn't understand a fucking thing she was saying and just her body language and the way she kept shaking her head and whatever the fuck she was saying. And when he finally hit her, I was just like, yeah. I was talking to my daughter. This daughter this is a while ago like eight months ago and I was like I think a lot of women don't know the strength

difference between girls and guys like they they recognize they're giving up a little but they don't know just how huge you know guys can just do anything they want to most girls and she was like no we absolutely know it's been drilled into my head since I was 12 years old that like we're just not the same that she needs to be careful and never be alone and all that crazy stuff it was really it's kind of what you wanted to hear but the strength difference these women no one told them no one told them that that guy can easily kick both their asses with one punch in a way. A back and a retract. One motion.

And he's just kicked both of their asses. I think a lot of women aren't aware. Those are big women now. That was like a double sucker punch though. To be fair, it was like a double sucker. I think you didn't hear the audio. If you heard the audio, she was begging him to hit him. Oh, I didn't get it.

And then he goes, alright then, hold my phone. Hold my phone. He finds him and holds the phone and he's like, alright! And he just goes over there and knocks them the fuck both out. That was pretty great. And yeah, you're absolutely right. The strength difference, especially upper body strength, that's the big one because like, there were girls in my high school that could squat way more than I could. And as much as the football player guys could, they were two girls in particular who's like thighs and booties were just ridiculous. They were white girls. And one of them was squatting like four 25 or something like that. The other one was squatting. They were both, they, I remember they, they worked out squatting they were both they I remember they worked

out together and they were both in the 400s with one they were working out with on the squat rack and in that and in that way they're you know just as strong and stronger than most of the guys but upper body strength it isn't even close like they can't power clean 125 pounds but they can squat 400 I have no idea how much I can squat like Like I've never really done squats. But by the time I was 14, I could do whatever the machine had. Like I could rack the calf thing. You know, they had like these calf things.

Pretty much they put weight on the top of your knees and then you just sort of point your toes up. And there was another one that sort of hung on your waist and you would just go like stand on your tippy toes to work your calves. I know what you're talking about. Those are the perfect machines for making yourself feel like a hoss like those and then the leg press where like you're always just a lever away from complete safety and you can be like i can put 900 pounds on this check it out as long as i'm sitting on like a nice cushioned faux airline but i feel dangerous i just close it i always feel actually squat and do free weights it's so much harder so much harder yeah plus it's more than just calves but on the

yeah the calf exercises i could rack it and i felt good because i was young and i couldn't come close to doing anything else like that i was uh i was talking to my cousin the mental thing with girls that like uh physically yeah, guys are stronger. But mentally, I don't think they realize that some guys will hit them. They'll mouth off and say stuff. It's like a lot of gentlemen out there. You're right. A lot of guys that will just defend from your punching or something.

But there are guys that will hit you like you're a man out there. I was having this conversation with my dad and my cousin the other day. We were all sitting around, and we were talking about instances where women had hit us and had came after us physically and tried to beat us up. And we're all laughing about it. It was a pretty fun conversation. I was like, yeah, Dad, I remember that one time she was coming after you,

and she had the nipple pinches. She was double fisting him every time she'd make a point. He was like, you son of a bitch, you mother fucker. You'd say this, and you said that. And she's just grabbing his chest fat. He's going for titty twisters, and she's like, squeeze, twist, and pop. And she's coming at him man and he's just walking backwards taking him absorbing punishment as he goes and then i was like yeah yeah i remember that

one time i smarted off to her and she made a little fist like this like like this and just punches me in the fucking mouth i was like yeah you came over to my house for a while after that i was like yeah i had to she kicked me out And then I realized we were all being abused by the same woman. It's not women. It's not women that are bad. It's just my mom. We were all getting abused by the same woman. So it was okay.

I feel better about women. It's like a fight approach that you can't do and utilize unless the other person consents to you doing it. It's the dual. Titty twisters. Totally vulnerable the whole way through yeah right it stopped anytime just yeah there's an easy defense on that there's a reason that Joe Lozon and UFC people don't go out there with Joe Rogan's out there you know Steve's my ties really strong as you know Jordan on the other hand really great nipple action over there. You see, let's cut to that clip. So I'm last summer, ripped that nipple right the fuck off.

It was insane. You remember that there was the movie Shaolin? It was one of those Shaolin monk movies, and the guy was super peaceful, but he had been training through the Shaolin monks the whole fucking movie, and he has to face off for the big fight at the end. And one of his secret super-duper Shaolin Monks the whole fucking movie and he has to face off for the big fight at the end and one of his secret super duper Shaolin Monk moves was this move

where he ran in with like a couple fingers and grabbed the guy right here and just ripped off a few layers of skin anybody else seen this? no! oh it was so great because like you know your hero who's been training the whole movie through this awful Shaolin Monk training like I don't know it reminded me of like the

Kill Bill training that she goes through, but much, much worse. But at one point, he's just like, and rips off a huge layer of skin right here. And I just remember thinking, what a weird kung fu move. I want to learn that. I'm going to do the skin off his forehead, bridge of his nose gimmick.

Call this the exfoliator. It looked like the most painful thing ever. his forehead bridge of his nose gimmick the exfoliator I think that'd be legal in the UFC I think you'd be clawing though yeah I mean scratching scratching isn't legal hi maybe it's not but I if it were someone would use tiger style for sure like it would have happened by now i i think it i i wish joe were here but i think you can pinch someone and pull that's so stupid no one does kung fu it's only stupid if you can't scratch the first time someone comes at you with eagle style style and like scratches you across your eyeballs and you're blind out there next thing you know he's scratching your ass and your back and stuff and you don't know where he is so like poking at the eyes is actually

legal fish hooks to if that and you know that thing but like scratching at your back it's just ineffective bullshit what about what willies okay now we're goofing no I'm 100% totally legal I'm pretty sure what's I like Nick Diaz Nick Diaz literally bitch slaps people. I just need that. Yeah. Everyone else is punching. Anytime I can reach out and punch your face, that's what...

Joe Lozon has advice. If you can see the face, smash it. Right? Nick Diaz will give up a couple punches. He fucking snaps them. He's like, huh? What now? What now?

What you gonna do? What you gonna do? I just slapped you. What now? What now? What you going to do? What you going to do? I just slapped you.

And I don't know if it's, they say that he's trying to goad people into fighting a more reckless style. But he's not that deep a thinker. He'll slap someone and be like, Stockton, 209, bitch, 209. And you're like, I don't know that he's working his strategy here. I think he might just like slapping people yeah yeah I think he just likes to make a bitch out of people and probably what he's saying come on bitch like that wouldn't be infuriating there he caught he fought Frank Shamrock right and Shamrock was older than him and a legend in the sport at this point and he kind of like came out of retirement and nick diaz was so disrespectful to him until the end of the fight it would should change but during the fight he was the guy was

like dumbfounded he just he couldn't believe this punk was being such a punk during it and he really got a psychological advantage he beat him he beat him down and he wasn't getting up and then he's like come on man get up you're a legend legend. What if you'd lick the other guy? I have no idea. That's just gross. I don't think you're winning in that scenario. Like, if you're licking my sweaty me, I'm like, you got fucked. Imagine this.

Like, you're, I don't know, you're on top of him, and he's reached up and pulled you close so you can't hit him, and you're kind of like, you know, head cheek to cheek, but you're facing that way. What if he just reached over and like stick your tongue in his ear? Like, is that legal? Because that would, that would freak him the fuck out if you stick your tongue in the ear and start like licking his ear out. Like he would lose his shit.

Seems like you would lose that fight though. I'm wondering, that's why I'm asking Like what happens when you stick your tongue in the guy's ear And he goes crazy and is like get off me And then you pound him to death What happens then? I might have some pointers for Joe Maybe Joe goes

You know I never thought about it that way And then the next time we see him on TV There he is tongue in the guy's ear Like licking his ear out The guy goes ape shit and Joe wins You'll be the next time we see him on TV there he is tongue in the guy's ear like like licking his ear out the guy goes apeshit and Joe wins you'll be the next sensei Seagal ooh a laughingstock of MMA coaches they made fun of the last episode of South Park it was last night or Wednesday night they fetching all on there and part of it was about how people try to create people on the internet try to create the safe box where no one's allowed to say anything bad about them.

And it was really good. And Steven Seagal was complaining that people were making fun of him because he's fat. Vin Diesel, they made fun of Vin Diesel and Steven Seagal. And it was really good. It was awesome. What do people make fun of Vin Diesel for? He's fat. Yeah.

Really? I'll get you a picture. I tweeted one recently. Yeah, but I feel like he's fat in the same way that somebody like Matthew McConaughey occasionally gets fat. And then he's like, oh, need a movie? Alright. And he just loses the weight, gets back in shape, he's ripped. I would think that Vin Diesel is like strong man fat.

He's a big guy. But I bet if he takes his shirt off, he doesn't have obese body. He's a big guy. But I bet if he takes his shirt off, he doesn't have an obese body. He's got the pecs, maybe some trap definition, and then the beard has shown. Click on the link, my tweet. Damn it, Hollywood and your impossible beauty standards.

It's gone, I think. It works for me. The image link's dead for me. Interesting, because I'm looking at it oh yeah he's definitely smoking a butt yeah that's a pregnancy belly there he's got an audi like maybe i have an audi belly button there herniated belly button yeah oh wow a little too into his morning shit is that how that happens i don't know hilarious uh drop out i don't that doesn't look like strong man country boy fat that that looks like

guy just broke discipline for too long yeah see that doesn't that doesn't look like what i thought it was gonna look like that's thought it was going to look like. That's also the least flattering angle he could have been in. With a cigarette. Surprised he didn't have a Pabst on the other hand. He could suck it in, perhaps, and do a movie.

Just be conscious of that belly. He's got an action movie out right now. He's the last witch hunter. Where he's swinging a sword and killing witches or something. Maybe he just wanted to take time off from all the training he did for that movie.

You know, you relax. The media takes your picture as you look like an asshole. And then you look great in the next movie. What he's got going on there looks like something that you would knock out in the three month training camp that probably comes along with a big movie. Like one of those Fast and the Furious movies or something like that. However, Steven Seagal, I saw him in Las Vegas last year.

And he is not a three-month training camp away from anything that you would consider an action star or a healthy human being. Thank God. He's still a big fucking dude. Anything that you would consider an action star or a healthy human being thank God He's still a bit. He's a big fucking dude like like he's intimidating to even stand next to he's like six four I guess and just really big broad shoulders. He's not a lanky guy by any means He's just big everywhere big arms big legs, but he's like I Don't know 75 pounds overweight a hundred pounds overweight like real fast He's hilarious to watch online. Some of the videos of him going through the motions with some people and talking and being all – it's so fucking funny.

His voice is just so not motivating when he's doing that. He's still whispering to you to this day for some reason. It's like the cameras aren't on, dude. You don't have to whisper he's wearing this big bandana to cover his bald head yeah we don't have anthony much longer but i just realized you were in three grand theft auto games yeah yeah i was uh grand theft auto five vice city stories and liberty city stories Yeah I was one of the I was one of the meth guys

In GTA 5 And then I was I was one of the Like a gun dealer I was a gun dealer in Red Dead Redemption too And that was good People used to

Send me videos of them Grabbing me Beating the shit out of me, shooting me on the train tracks. Like, hey, look, Anthony, that's you. I know Laszlo from over there. So he'd always be like, hey, come by. I sang a few of the commercial songs for the Pisswasser beer and all the other stuff. It's a pisser.

They're really cool over there at Rock so all the free swag did you would you use your personal voice or is it a character like you doing like the news things I was one of the newsmen and you put on the official news voice my god the minorities are at it again what are we gonna you know is fucking riot going on and shit and uh the other ones were kind of like hey you looking for a six shooter partner one of those things you know they pretty much let me do whatever the hell i wanted to do do the characters look like you which was cool no i didn't do any of the shit where you know i had to wear the goddamn

white ball suit any of that. So no, it wasn't it didn't look like me, the character. Just voice work. Pretty fun though. Any more voice work coming down the pipe for you? Nothing recently coming out, really, no. I have Lazlo back on the show

and poke him a few times. Let me know what's going on over there at Rockstar. Yeah. I have to find those clips online now i had no idea yeah it's fucking cool man it's one of those things where it's like oh you know this is great i'm in a game that i love did you find yourself like going to the spot in the game where you were and just talking through the whole like three cycle of what you said yeah yeah just getting all the dialogue out there yeah exactly so do you watch it and think that like i crushed this role or are you just like criticizing yourself fucking nailed that one the weird things is when you have to go like

you gotta scream because you're being punched stop that as you're running away when I did one of the GTA's my girlfriend at the time did the voice of one of the prostitutes in the car which was like talking all dirty alright before we go we have these

ask me anything questions that people do uh when they're patreons you've probably heard of patreon before and uh one of the benefits at some certain level i forget well kyle do you know what level you can ask questions to the show i think it's quite low i think it's uh like 10 or 20 but not off the top of my head i'm sure it's a fabulous bargain to ask us questions but anyway the one popped out on my on my radar here what is a hoax you're not proud you fell for oh god a hoax i'm not proud i fell for uh well just off the top of my head recently i i actually read the yelp suing south park as a as a uh true story yeah and and as i'm reading i'm like this can't

be true it's too good yeah and and it turns out being uh to be a goddamn hoax um other than that i made a video passionately defending coney remember that coney 2012 thing i was totally on like like the side of this charity charity even like everyone else left them right everyone else is like this thing is not good these people are wrong you're all in favor of this charity when you shouldn't be i'm still like i'm on their side all by myself it was by the next day he's masturbating on la street corners and i'm like he's god. He's masturbating while the Kony kits were still in the mail. He had to deliver it to people's houses to put signs all over.

When you wake up the next day, there's going to be Kony plastered all over. Yeah. Yeah. It was such a well produced video. It was so cat. It got your attention and you wanted to help and he was saying hey you normally don't do anything. Do something this time though. We really need you and I was like yeah

Yeah, you do really need me like I remember we were discussing that we were like this is bullshit I was like they're using this money wrong. They should hire like the a team to go get that fucker like that's what they need They need mercenaries. I was like we should get some mercenaries with that money Kyle knows some guys Yeah, I know some mercenaries, and it was just like we could get some mercenaries with that money. Kyle knows some guys. Yeah, I know some mercenaries. And it was just like, we could get this done for a couple million dollars. Helicopter in there, they could do this shit for a few million. And they're wasting these tens of millions. Even the video itself, the dude, like, you're saying it was good in retrospect.

But, like, go back and try and watch it again. It's, like, half an hour long. There's, like, 22 minutes of the informative stuff stuff of like, look at how awful this is with them standing there with guns next to the Somalians or whatever. They're doing something. But the first eight minutes is him sitting there with his kid in front of a computer like, what do you think about

these kids who have to have their hands chopped off? And the kid's just like, yeah, I don't like it. It's like, see, even the children know. And it's like, pull your finger out of your ass and make a real video like i don't know i didn't like that it it it got me i think it got a lot of people it was it feels like it got hundreds of millions of views maybe it did yeah that was huge that one it was so big one of the big you know what i watched recently uh there's a what's that

that thing netflix made which is basically about a guy with child soldiers? Beasts of... Beasts of War? Beasts of No Country or something like that? I watched it. Yeah, I'm going to... Try to get me to watch that after Anthony Jesselnik's comedy. Beasts of No Nation.

I think these are similar. Beasts of No Nation. Yes! It did the same thing to me, and I watched them both. Anthony Jeselnik was fucking hilarious, and then Beasts of No Nation was really sad and downer. Yeah, a lot less funny. A lot less funny.

Not as many laughs. Jeselnik was there with the dead baby jokes, and then this movie came in with the actual dead babies. I like the movie. I guess I'm into dead babies. But it was moving and it was cool and it had a good story. And they did a good job. Why did the main guy have to be a pedophile on top of everything?

Couldn't he just be a militant leader who had child soldiers? Do you have to fuck them too? I missed that. I knew you'd miss it. Are you talking about Anthony Jezelnik? No, the Beast of No Nationik he was a pedo how did i entirely miss that i i don't know what to say woody i just don't know what to say this is why we watch movies as a group so wait who was he having sex with he was having sex with the two youngest boys who were friends one of um striker striker who never spoke that boy and our main character he fucked them both he burnt you know there's that scene where he's like

i knew it was coming immediately because he's standing by the bed and he's like come in here with me and i was like why does he this is the first bed we've even seen in this whole like jungle based child soldier movie i was like okay and then he like it looked like he burnt a line of gunpowder and then snorted the their leftover residue like it was a drug i kind of remember that and then he looks at the boy and he has i'm having a thing i need you to be doing now and and then they just cut away and the next time you see him he's all like shattered and like walking down the steps all wobbly because this guy just fucked him in the ass and then striker and then striker like

puts his hand around the boy's you know uh shoulders like comfort him and it was clear they were insinuating like strike has been through this before he knows what's up and there wasn't a word spoken between them but they knew you know i just... All I got was oh, I see they do lots of drugs. They only do drugs when they're ready to throw a boy a fucking... You guys watch some weird porno. Beasts of No Nation. It's on Netflix.

They released in theaters simultaneously. It created a big uproar with the theaters. I think it's going to be a contender in the awards season probably. The cinematography was great. The camera movement was really cool. A lot of the shots were impressive. I'd watch it if it didn't sound so depressing.

Yeah, right? Wow. Sounds like a day ruiner. I watch so many things with no story at all. I'll go on Netflix looking for something great and then watching a shitty documentary. And it happens to me far too often. And when I saw Beasts with No Nation no nation i was like you know what i'm just gonna carve out some time and actually watch some good storytelling there's a lot of good shit on there right now i watched that thing about uh with the melting uh ice caps uh in antarctica the uh the killer whales are

moving into areas they never had been before so uh there's a whole thing about the killer whales up there i watched i watched a thing about a sloth. I like the nature stuff on there. Oh, yeah. The documentaries are on the upswing. Like for like an eight-month-old. I was watching an entire day of Mount Everest, especially the big storm they had in 96, I think it was,

that just wiped out like 11 people on the mountain. You know, those people still live there. mountain you know that shit is people sickles nuts they just leave the dead people laying there people that are climbing like tomorrow will just walk by and go oh yeah that dead guy and they don't deteriorate very fast because it's so cold like frozen yeah they're just they're they're pretty well preserved they're like landmarks there's a guy they call green boots that that, like, he's just there. That's such bullshit. And he's got his big green boots.

And they're like, oh, Green Boots, the dead guy. I'll tell you right now, if someone I cared about got stranded up there, I'd go fucking get him. Like, I would be like, no, I'm not climbing the mountain. I'm going to get Bill. Bill's stuck up there at, like, 16,000 feet. And nobody gives a shit. We're not going to the top. We're going to get Bill. I'd have to go get him. There's no way he'd possibly get up there at like 16,000 feet and nobody gives a shit. We're not going to the top.

We're going to get built. I'd have to go get him. There's no way he'd be able to get up there. They talk about it all the time and the most people that just loved ones of these people cannot do it. You can't even get yourself back down the mountain because of the altitude. That's because they got no imagination. You gotta cut the person into quarters, of course. You're not carrying a whole fucking person.

It sounds disgusting, but he's so frozen, you're cool. Yeah, that or maybe you could get some sort of parachute attached to him and then just let go and maybe the wind carries him down the mountain or something, I don't know. Gotta get Bill down, though. What a macabre off that would be every rock hitting every rock so they're shattering

off they don't have aircraft like like helicopters don't fly at that height I guess I'm not fair fair to live what people don't belong up there quitting quit going there exactly you do not belong up there it's toxic yeah well I saw they changed. You do not belong up there. It's toxic. I saw they changed the rules where they weren't going to let disabled people and maybe

people who are above a certain age go anymore. There was an uproar. There's experience level, no disabled people and no people over a certain age. It's funny the way they put it. They're like, you know, disabled people climb Everest, but really it's just super hard on the people carrying them up and down the mountain.

And I didn't think about it. I was like, yeah, I guess you get like a super Sherpa to put me on your back. And then I claimed I climbed it. The most dangerous thing I think, well, besides obviously the altitude and everything, is that it's not a hard climb. That's the problem. They say that there's so many mountains around the world that are so difficult to climb that a novice couldn't do it ever.

It's just too much actual knowledge you need of mountain climbing. With Everest, a lot of it is just walking uphill. There's some parts where you need to go up rocks but a lot of ropes and grab holes. They put ladders and stuff on it. You're going to the highest place in the world and quite frankly it's not all that hard of a climb.

A lot of these idiots that have no experience get up there and get in trouble. Like if Everest was at 4,000 feet you'd take your kids up it. Yeah, there you go right yeah k2 is the second highest peak in the world and the numbers are dramatically different if you look at the people who have summited the mountain and the number of climbers who have died attempting to summit the the mountain between everest and k2 it's very telling yeah very few people who

have made up i i i'm thinking 400 in my head, but I don't know, honestly, off the top of my head. Not as many have climbed it, and a lot more have died doing it. Yeah, there are these commercial operations that, you know, like Wild Mountain Climbing Incorporated, and they take, like, 20 people up at once. And it's like it's a commercial endeavor. Hey, let's climb Everest everybody and they get all these people together that don't know what the fuck they're doing. They have $50,000

to shell out and they end up dying on the way down. I just want the t-shirt at the end. Part of me wants to do it and then just like poke holes and bear grills and all the fake shit he's done all this time. Like, yeah, well he did climb Everest. Trust me. I did it too then just poke holes in Bear Grylls and all the fake shit he's done all this time. Like, yeah, well, he did climb Everest. Trust me.

I did it too. It's bullshit. Yeah, exactly. It seemed to me like obviously it was a huge physical toll being able to do it. I don't think just anybody can do it. Even those handicapped people, I think. I mean, they're walking up that fucking mountain. It seemed to me that the biggest complication with climbing Everest was getting the weather right because it takes so long to do it you're and you're at that base camp and

maybe the second level they go to for such a long period of time that it's hard to plan the trip up yeah you don't know if the weather's going to be good by the time your body is acclimated to the atmosphere and then or lack thereof and then when you're going up, if there's any delay, you're supposed to, I think by 1 or 1.30 PM, start your descent. That's the latest you can fucking do it. So if you're on your way up and you paid $50,000 and the guy running the thing knows that you're not going to make it by 1 or 1.30, he's got to say, yeah, turn it around. Sorry. And you're like, fuck you. I'm here to do this. And a lot of people continue up and they don't make it back down. Dumb.

And I think climbing it with or without oxygen is a big consideration as well. I can't imagine from watching these. Climbing with oxygen is nuts. Without, I don't even, your body is not supposed to work like that. Beyond nuts. We did nothing like Everest, but we went hiking in Yosemite, and there was a pass that was like 13,000-some feet. My friend, PK Danielson, you two will know him maybe,

but he got altitude sickness. He was a wreck. He was vomiting. He had no energy. his head was killing him he just wasn't built for it and yeah it fucks you up you get a a swelling in your you get brain swelling edema you get like liquid in your lungs it's not just oh i can't breathe your body completely says fuck you i don't I don't work well in this. And he had to get to the other side.

He couldn't just turn around. We had to do the pass. And we were going somewhere. And yeah, it was a mess. And we stopped at the top because he needed to rest. Maybe that was dumb. I bet other people would be like, just push through. But he needed to rest.

And we stopped at the top. And we gave him so much shit. It was summertime, but there was a glacier there. So we sat to the top and we gave him so much shit like uh there was like it was summertime but there was a glacier there so we were like making snowballs and throwing it and we filmed him vomiting and we were just terrible friends why couldn't you just go like climb everest in in like that that mechanical thing that sigourney weaver used in aliens and the space suit and you're just like come on everybody just get up top yeah that'll be a field trip it should be if that country really wanted to increase their tourism

right create a system where anybody who wants to go to the top of everest hop on this thing and it's going to take us up there in two hours Yeah, what's the ski lift called a gondola where it's inside right hot chocolate gondola oxygen will all go I think you need some sort of a train built on a track or something like that It has to be a combination of like it needs to be on a track, but it I don't know something like that Please keep your hands and feet in the gondola at all times. That's how it should be.

Sponsored by Red Bull. I would be really interested in that. There'd be people walking like, I did it the hard way. Yeah, yeah. That's dumb. This way's way better. Probably be cheaper. Yeah, it'd be great. Someone should do that.

Nepal's like the poorest country on the planet. That's all that they have to bring people in. It's a shithole, yeah. It's the worst. I think it might actually be the poorest country on the planet. They can't be building a monorail up the biggest mountain on Earth for shits. Get Trump to do it

or some shit. Trump would do it. Get some backers. The Trump a day. Get some backers. Yeah. The Trump trolley. Yeah, up to Everest. I got to bolt my friends. Very good. Thank you for coming on. I'm also feeling my cold come back.

I think at midnight tonight, there's a replay of the Kennedy episode I was on today on Fox News and then Saturday I'm doing the Greg Gutfeld show that airs on Sunday and then by the way that's why I have makeup on and I'm dressed like this I did Kennedy today and I drove back from the city

I left at like 6.30 I didn't get in until right when you guys were going on at like 8. I was so pissed at the traffic. There's nothing more fun than driving a fucking Jaguar in traffic that doesn't fucking move. I was so pissed off. I had to wait and let somebody go ahead so I could just go. But I was aggrav go. But,

uh, I was aggravated. It took too long. So whatever. This is the me you get. Have a good night. Thanks for coming on gentlemen. And,

uh, I'll talk to you soon, man. Always a pleasure. Thanks for coming. You want to do some of these AMA questions? Yes. Yeah.

You leave that. Let me just do the, um, Oh, when he goes, I'll fix the camera. Yeah, I'm out. When he shifts, I need to fix all the screen grabbing. Give it a second. He's always a ton of fun.

Yeah, he does a good job. Most of our guests come from a variety of backgrounds, right? There's some YouTubers. There's some athletes. There's this. there's that, but he's a pro and he's, you know, we've done, you know, 200 some of these shows and, uh, I don't know. I'm not following my train of thought, but essentially he's every bit as good as us or better. Actually, he's better than us. Yeah. He's way better than us. And it's, it's neat to have a pro on the show it's kind of cool so anyway i need to fix the screen grabs all right i don't feel like we've hit a lot of these ama questions these are all brand new except

for the one that he asked uh anthony yeah i wanted to i want to get someone in there to have the anthony kumi answers question huh I want to get someone in there to have the Anthony Acumia answer his question. Huh. God, I had one of these marked last week, and I can't find it. Some guy asked me about, he's got a.308 Remington 700 and an AR-15 that's a 5.56. He wants to know the best suppressor manufacturer to go with. I've got a lot of Silencer Co. stuff.

I like their suppressors a lot, and I've taken both of their... I got two or three.30 cal suppressors. I got all the suppressors they make. They send me one of each, and I've taken them off my.308 AR, my AR-10, and I've put it on AR-15s and back and forth. And I've actually shot it on, like what you have, a.308 bolt-action Remington. And I like those a lot.

They've got lots of different muzzle brakes and quick-detach systems. I've got all that stuff. To be honest, I don't even know everything I've got. But I've got all of that stuff, and they work really well. I like the Silencer Co. stuff. Hmm. even know everything i've got but i've got all of that stuff and they work really well i like i like the silencer co stuff i've got one that someone wrote we didn't talk about the am i an asshole uh guy talking about his ex-girlfriend did we i don't i don't think we did i don't think we did. I don't think so. I don't think. I think these are new. Go on. Okay.

So, am I the asshole? My ex-girlfriend and I broke up about two weeks ago. From my perspective, it was not on good terms because I wasn't in favor of it. Some BS about not having similar personalities. We've been dating for the last three years, and now we are seniors in high school. Very young beginning there. Now one of my friends asked her to homecoming and although it probably isn't anything beyond a date to homecoming it seemed to break the bro code

i thought that if she might be able to see what happiness we brought each other if she hadn't gone to homecoming or didn't i thought that if she might be able to see what happiness we brought each other if she hadn't gone to homecoming or didn't have a date i i don't know uh it's probably not completely logical but i still want to beat the shit out of my ex friend is he in the wrong or am i being territorial hmm i i totally have locked in my answer but i'd like to hear you guys first um well if you and the girl have uh like a relationship that's still formed,

she should have asked you if she could go with this guy to this thing. I don't understand why she didn't go with you. So it seems like... She dumped him. No, they were broke up before this. She dumped him. It seems like years ago she dumped him. Oh, you're a dummy then.

Two weeks ago. Oh, two weeks ago? I'm sorry. Yeah, no. No, there's nothing wrong with what your friend did or with what she did. Can I recap it for you just to make sure that you understand yeah he dated this girl they broke up they dated for three years two weeks ago they broke up and his friend is already taking her to homecoming yep okay so now you're all caught up and you think he's a dumb ass and the friend

didn't break the bro code yeah yeah i think i think you're all good they're broken up it's high school like like that's that's true it depends on how good of friends they are though like if they're actual like it depends how fast friends and they've been good that's also an integral part of this yeah but if they've been like best friends since kindergarten or something then yeah i can understand feeling kind of shitty where it's like, oh, well we broke up then, but how long were you kind of circling this dying relationship waiting for it to fizzle out? You know,

maybe whispering, you know, sweet nothings into her ear when I wasn't around trying to kind of expedite this. But if it's just like, yeah, we sit at the lunch table every day together. It's like,

yeah, no, that's, that's not's that's not like yeah i don't think i don't think you're being an asshole by doing anything you said your ex-friend so if you totally cut ties with this guy and he was like you're you know kind of an okay friend from the lunchroom then yeah that'll make you seem kind of petty but it is high school it's your senior year just wait it out and find find a new chick in college like yep it seems way worse

right now than it's gonna feel in what nine months when you're in college and then you're gonna be thanking your lucky stars that you did break up at this point instead of trying to drag on some long-term relationship i'm on the other side of this thing um and again i guess it depends how good the friend isn't no he just says one of my friends is asking her to homecoming so i'll assume they're a friend group i think unless it's a tiny tiny school you can skip over your best friend's girl for more than two weeks like let it go man it is breaking the bro code in my head you can't swoop in and get the ex-girlfriend, and if they're friends, he might know that he's still pining over her.

You're right in that he needs to let this go. She dumped him. She dumped him. She dumped him for his friend. That's what happened. It's quite possible. If that is what happened, that makes sense. So there's no picking and choosing.

What happened was she got tired of you? It's been three years and you haven't shown her anything new or anything that makes her think that she wants to continue dating you into actual, like, adulthood,

if you can consider graduating high school. She's interested in somebody else and she probably has been for a while. She's just not that into you and she is into this other guy and they're trying to be happy together

going to homecoming these kids are 17 like i don't think anybody here is being malicious they're just trying to but the pain is real they dated three years and he's 17 she was his whole life uh i feel like the bro could have you know i wouldn't have dated my best friend's girl that quickly. Yeah, he could have been more tactful about it. She's my best friend's girl. But she used to be mine. Yeah. Oh, my. I don't think he's being overly territorial. I think you guys maybe think so,

but I think that you could ask your friend to back off this girl that you dated for three years and her broke your heart. You know, it seems like he's... I need to see how hot this girl is. And also also I think that like I bet his friend really cares a lot about this girl and she cares a lot about uh his friend that could be true I bet the friend's been waiting for her to like get rid of I bet the guy

who wrote us the letter probably isn't that great of a boyfriend and this other guy who's like waiting in the wings has been thinking forever like why won't she just get rid of this asshole all he does is listen to that pka thing or whatever the hell he never spends time with her he's like here i am putting the groundwork in i'm the one going to this and i'm one i'm the one at her like cheerleading meets this guy's nowhere to be seen and she's probably with a better guy if that is the case that he was kind of the the friend not the the ex-boyfriend like if it is the case that he was kind of the friend not the the ex-boyfriend like if it is the case that he was kind of you know because us reportedly they're all in a friend group so they're going to be hanging out a lot like i could see this new newcomer friend like maybe saying some sly

comments or you know maybe being that shoulder to cry on when she's like i can't believe that chad did this today and wouldn't didn't even he didn't even think to call me and he's like you know i don't i don't understand it either with that guy sometimes you know it's just you know he just slips by his mind he's just a little selfish i guess like if he's been poisoning the well like that then yeah that is that is a reason to cut that friend out of your life because they're toxic but at like as far as like if you hate what they're doing yeah cut them out of your life and at the end of the day if they're not going to the same college as you who gives a fuck like find someone else you can do it you had a girlfriend

for three years just hop back in the game get back on your horse find a hotter girl to take to homecoming nobody's harder than jessica i mean come on oh well i mean uh that's such a kyle thing to say like like that's what i wish i knew the situation because because like i'm i'm picturing the girl as is like very attractive uh for whatever reason and uh and i'm just like you got to though you can't just let what are you gonna do just disappear like no okay you gotta go after this you're never gonna see op ever again in your life anyway you're about to graduate high school i i got a new question and this one's incredibly difficult for me Any advice on choosing a career and or college? I'm currently 17.

He's a junior with a 3.5 GPA. I can't think of anything that would interest me. And I was wondering if you guys have any ideas. Love the show. Keep up the great work. So he has good grades. I'll say good. They're not great grades, but they're not bad grades either.

He has good grades and nothing interests him. That's how I felt. You know, when I first went into accounting accounting it was just because my father had an accounting practice and I thought I would work, I thought I would take that over. I think every job seemed like it sucked. There was nothing someone would pay me for that I wanted to do. I used to think that there were jobs that just like you, I don't know, you had to like know someone to get or something like that. But it seems now that if you really from an early age pick a thing and you work toward it for the first half of your life,

you can pretty much achieve anything you want. So like if you, I mean, would you like to be a fighter pilot? Because if you dedicate your life to that, you can probably be one. Do you want to be like a demolitions expert blowing up high rise buildings in Thailand? Because a little dedication and you can do that you know it's just it doesn't have to be lawyer doctor or uh electrician yeah you you could be anything like there might be a job that there are only 50 people who do it in the world you could be 51 um it it's you got to come up with something that you'll enjoy doing I guess it sounds like you need

to figure out what makes you happy before you pick a job because it's a it's kind of a it's like an impossible he's like i don't like anything what should i do like well you want to tell it we could tell you what we like to do but that's not going to help you you got to find out what actually would make you happy and maybe it's one of those crazy ridiculous jobs i just came up with well it's also the fact that like he's so young and i like i remember like in high school and i got the same advice of like just well what makes you happy to do it's like uh i have no idea because i'm 18 and i have no experience with anything i'm green in every sense of the word i don't know maybe i'd like that maybe i get in there for one day and i'm like well fuck this is not what mad men made me think it would be or like you just get totally misled with everything like there's no bourbon at 1 p.m there's no sexy secretary out there but like

you really won't know until once in this office. Pick something, at least a major, that you think on the, just on a cursory glance, you're like, there could be something interesting there. And then stick with it for maybe a semester. Then you can change it. It's not a big deal. I know tons of people who change their major four or five times and still manage to graduate in four and a half years. Maybe five years.

That's a lot of major changing. You're going high end on that. or four three or four i know multiple people who did one person who did four and a number of people who did three where they started as something then switched it and then switched it the final time to me once is normal twice is a lot three to five is uh not often heard but maybe it's different now a lot of people are on like the four and a half or five year plan now well that that's not too crazy but i bet if they finish in four and a half years and they've had five majors they work their buns off to to keep it even semi on schedule and they probably did enough to get a double major you know when you add up all the

little little tallies yeah but uh yeah dude, pick a major that you think is interesting. And as far as college, because I think he had something in there as well, like college advice, like where to go. Don't go to some expensive private school for no reason if you don't know what you're going to major in or even like. Just go to a big, fun public school.

What state do you live in? You know, Wisconsin? Go to Madison. You'll have a ball and you'll find something there that you like. If you need to go to a specialty school later for more money, you can. If not, no need to waste it. I met a woman who gave me the first valid case for a small, expensive liberal arts school that I've ever heard in my life.

She had a 2.4 GPA coming out of high school, which is not very good. This guy's a 3.5. She had a 2.4. She's a doctor now and she just wasn't thriving supremely lazy I had a lot in common with her and she said that she went to this like if she had gone to a big school like that that it totally wouldn't have worked but she went to this tiny thing and her experience like, she had dinner with some of her professors. They just like, it became this little family.

There was 137 people in her class, something like that. My high school was bigger. And I may have that number wrong, but it was a very small college. And it was expensive. She's like, I could have never afforded it had it not been for these rich old ladies who gave her scholarships. But she's convinced that she would have just drowned in a giant state school.

But she went to this college or university and she finally figured out she was smart. And she went on to become a doctor. So pretty smart. But I think for most people, you need to look at the value of the school. If you want to go to some tiny little school, like I mentioned Shippensburg or something,

like a small one in the Northeast, a little liberal arts thing that most people haven't heard of, it doesn't give you a competitive advantage in getting your next job. Unless for some reason you can't thrive in a better value, get the better value. Don't finish saddled with debt that's going to haunt you. I made a video on this, but it's giving away your future for your present and uh in terms of school it's a lot of future you know if 40 grand is tough to pay off when you make regular people wages and um yeah i don't know look for a value in the school okay so i've got

i like this one because i feel like this one's kind of a rapid-fire thing. So let's do this real quickly. This is a do-you-prefer questions. So I'll go to Taylor first. Do you prefer blowjobs or sex? Blowjobs. Vaginal sex. Oh, that was the clarifying thing?

Yeah. So probably blowjobs. Action or horror movies? Action. Coffee or tea? Tea. Boxers or briefs? Boxer briefs.

Ooh, I like that. Those are boxers, I guess. Cars or trucks? Cars. Tits or ass? Oh, God. I'm split, like, right down the middle. Exactly. Maybe, like, 51% ass.

I imagined, when you said split right down the middle, I imagined you as a serial killer who literally split the woman right down the middle so you could have both. I like one of each. I like that. Blonde, brunette, or redhead? Red. Oh, yeah. Scotland? This one's silly.

Do you prefer Scotland, England, or Ireland? I haven't been to any. England. Sure. So he says, keep up the awesome work. He waits in anticipation for his Patreon email every Friday. And he says, Chiz, you're also awesome. Fuck the haters.

Cheers, Alan. So, Woody. Go on. Do you prefer blowjobs or sex? Sex. Action or horror? Horror. Coffee or tea?

Tea. Boxers or briefs? Boxers. Cars or trucks? What am I, a girl? Trucks. Hits or ass? Ass. Hits or ass? Ass rat ass blonde brunette or redhead brunette I feel like I'm sexier downstairs I feel like we're

I feel like you're pigeonholed into giving that answer I don't think I don't feel like you're a lot what if you said blonde how would that look no blonde bushes are weak sauce it brunette is where it's hot. Scotland, England, or Ireland. Scotland. They're funnier.

Yeah. I agree. Okay, so I'm going to do this real quick. I prefer the sex over the blowjob. A good horror movie over a good action movie. Coffee over tea. I also like the boxer briefs. I don't like boxers or the briefs.

Like, one is too tight, one is too loose. Probably trucks over... Ah, it's so hard. Faggot. Probably trucks over cars, just because I like getting more people in there. I would go ass over tits, redheads, and I'll go with Scotland as well. Yeah, I like their accents and the kilts and all. It's funny.

When I hear blonde brunette or redhead, I'm totally just picturing bushes in this scenario. I'm like, oh, firecrouch. Not a bad choice. People our age, that's all going to be a null factor in this anyway. Is it? You get what you want. Yeah, you get. Is it? You get what you want. Yeah, you get what you want.

You get what you ask for. And, you know, I don't like the baby look. I feel like that... I prefer blonde over brunette, I think, and then redhead over that. And there are other differences around the body. The nipples are different between blonde, brunette, and redhead. You're getting a different shade from dark to very light pink across the spectrum and you know there's a lot of things that come along with that lighter skin tone and freckles

and stuff and yeah so it's a variation everything under the sun it's like the pale yellow blows i don't know yeah but there's there's also variations i feel like kyle was saying that brunettes are darker but there's like the Irish brunette who's super pale skinned they you could swap with her anyway their skin tone was different but their nipples are colored differently though huh yeah like and yeah like Asian chicks and Filipino chicks with like really dark spongy nipples and stuff. You know, there's a big spectrum of stuff across the board from, like, black nipples to super light pink nipples. Hmm.

I'm a nipple connoisseur. Oh, yeah. Clearly. He's got a whole belt made of them. Necklace, too. Ooh, that's a real thing. I know, that's why I said it. What is the most mentally challenging thing you've ever done which you felt good about? This is hard.

I might not come back to this because I need to make like a list. I've told my same story too many times. But there's a master's degree course or two which had to do with high – not high efficiency, high performance computing that was at the very edges of my mental limits to even understand or keep up with. And it made me feel good. I remember I would look at like the sea of cubes at work and I'd be there doing homework at like midnight or something in my cube because it was a real good work environment.

And I'm like, none of these fuckers can do this. You know, I was very proud of myself. Mine was when i watched primer oh yeah that's hard and i i like you know what that actually is harder than than the master's program i've watched primer and then i go to the wikipedia to help me understand it and then like two years later i'll watch it again and I have to go to the Wikipedia again. See, that's why mine's harder. I bet you still remember that Master's course stuff,

but you don't remember how that time machine works in Primer right now if I really made you write it all out. Well, I remember how the time machine works. Basically, you get to sit there, and then it stays in that period of time, and then you can go, and then time passes on, and you get out of it. But he has his memories from what happened and comes back out again right what i'm getting it wrong help me help me that wiki page no well okay go ahead and i certainly don't hey i wasn't suggesting that i have like retained the whole plot but i just know that what

you said wasn't exactly true because they don't retain any memories there at one point there's multiple versions of him existing within the same timeline and I'm never really sure who the narrator is. I think he's the original him and he goes back and kidnaps himself and drugs himself and there's a whole thing. It's very convoluted. And there at the end, he's

listening to a recording of himself interacting with the other guy and it's you need a guide. I remember whoever stayed in it the longest has the advantage over the other guy and it's you need you need it i remember whoever like stayed in it the longest has the advantage over the other one and like there's a competitive advantage if you stay longer in this thing so if you pop out first then like you live it through and i get to live that with you and then i get to come back and there's no retained knowledge you say though like i feel like when you come out of the box, you just did all that stuff.

But now it's back in time. That's not how that worked? You don't exist when you're in the box. You're in the box. You're in the box and the rest of the world keeps going. Yeah, it's like you're just apart from the universe while you're in the box. And then when you get out of the box time has moved but there's you're right but there's a way like there's a copy of you that did it time goes goes much farther

shit i don't fully get by i can't really see if i was that's why we have the wikipedia and that is why that is my answer to the question the most most difficult. I've seen it three times. I've read that wiki twice. I even watched a YouTube video. I can't exactly explain it. It's a very complicated movie. I feel like I understand Primer for a very brief period of time after I read the page. Now, I'll have to read the page.

I put my thinking cap on to get it. And then I get it. And I'm like, ah, right, right. So that was the copy of him. And he did have the earphone thing in, and now apparently it's gone again. I don't know. Yeah, that's definitely my answer.

Merkur, what's the most mentally challenging thing you've ever done which you felt good about? I have to think longer for a serious answer, but I figured out the sixth sense twenty minutes in. Cool. The first time I watched it. Yeah.

First time. How horrible it must be so intelligent. Oh yeah. It's brutal. Just can't enjoy any form of entertainment because like five minutes in, I know it. Sitting around with my friends, nobody wants to watch psychological thrillers with me, calling out twists left and right. That's not real. This is the past. So not real this is the past narrator is actually an illusion i'll have to look up like

the list of scenes but i remember sitting there the first time watching it and like for a little bit i was like maybe it was like half an hour in that i called it but i was watching it like why is nobody fucking talking to bruce willis like yeah and then i was just like okay they're all like looking past him, not like eye contact, just kind of like a little bit to the right. And I'm like, he's not there. That guy's dead. He's only talked to the one guy. He talks to the

hanged lady at the school, which freaked me the fuck out. That scared me, because I was pretty young when I saw that. Like maybe 13. Wait, Bruce Willis talked to the hanged lady at the school? No, the young kid was the only one who could see the hanged lady at the school. I, the young kid was the only one who could see the hanged lady at the school. I see. Yeah.

That was a good movie. Shyamalan has only made a handful of those good movies. Did he make a recent good one? He made a new one. Yeah, I don't know what it's called. He's got that new thing, The Gift or something like that. That's the one I was talking about where he financed it himself. The Visit. The Visit, yeah. something like that uh that's the one i was talking about where he financed it uh himself and uh like he's made a ton of the visit yeah he's financed it himself and he made quite a bit of money and uh i guess it's its ratings are decent which is 63 rotten tomatoes so for a horror

movie like i always give horror movies the benefit of the doubt because they never get rated that high because there's always that smarmy douche. But I feel like they're often bad. There are more bad horror movies than romantic comedies or something. If it's a romantic comedy, you'll probably get a smile in it or something. I wouldn't abuse rom-coms as my example, but there are a lot of bad horror movies. I feel like the people who review rom-coms aren't even real movie reviewers.

I was thinking about this today. I'm on the movies subreddit a lot like it's probably my favorite subreddit I love it. I really like reading reviews and seeing what other people think about movies But romantic comedies to me seemed like the lowest form of video entertainment like they disgust me I saw that have you seen sweet home, Alabama? Yeah, what a fucking piece of shit. I wish you'd just fuck her in the ass and get it over with. The fucking Reese Witherspoon bullshit and the lightning in the sand and all that going back home and his goddamn fucking hunting dog and all that crap. I did not fucking care.

I hate romantic comedy. That movie, to me, is like the perfect example of an overly sugary sweet rom-com. And I didn't love it, but there were moments where I kind of smiled and I was happy it worked out well. And I feel like a bad rom-com, like Sweet Home Alabama, is better than a bad horror movie, which just completely bores me. I think that that is probably the best rom-com i've ever seen in sweet home alabama i think it's the best of them i can't think of many that i prefer over that one and i hate it i've never seen one that i enjoy but with horror movies you're right like the bad ones really stink like there's a level of budget that you

just have to have if you're going to have any cgi in there and have it look good and then not everybody knows how to do practical effects. And then very few directors know how to handle building suspense in a non-gimmicky way and how to handle scares and how to do the jump scares so that it's not gimmicky. The Conjuring was really, really

fucking good. That's the best horror movie in recent memory that I can think of. The first Sinister was pretty good. I think Ethan Hawke was in it. The Devil Wears Prada was a pretty good rom-com. The American Pie ones.

If Anne Hathaway's not getting naked, I don't want to watch any of her movies. Don John, that was pretty good. I'm looking at a list of good ones. I didn't want to watch that. It seemed so pandering and weird. That's it.

I just heard the premise of it was Gordon Joseph Levitt. I would never remember his name without help. He made his... I still didn't. Joseph Gordon Levitt. Is that not what I said? You said Gordon Joseph. Well, shit.

So anyway, he made his first movie, and the premise of it was like he fucked Scarlett Johansson or something. And I'm like, this guy's starting strong. Like, that's not a bad way to kick off your career. I'm pretty sure he wrote and directed that. Yeah. Maybe he had something to do with the casting of Scarlett Johansson. Yeah, that was why I watched it!

I was like, this is great! Like, you know, like, you know what? I'm gonna make a movie in which I fuck Scarlett Johansson. Let's make this happen. Honestly, Johansson was the best part of that whole movie. Am I saying her name wrong? Why are you laughing at me? How do you say it?

It's, uh, Johansson. No, you're lying. It's the exact same shit. It's Johansson. No, you're lying. It's Johansson. Johansson? Yeah. Okay. Anyway, you're all laughing. Anyway, fuck both of you.

And Scarlett Johansson, he made up, I don't know, he just fucked her and I thought that was like, he was in charge of it. Why are you laughing at me now? I just think it's funny. Clueless was good. like this ama question i'm trying to find it again but the gist the gist of it was do you have any plans to prank me or chiz in the future because you know we pranked you with the the rain slicker out in the forest do you have any plans to possibly prank us back at any uh juncture no I I would just I'm owing one and it only get worse if I try to escalate a prank war with these masters

I I always canason and plot oh yeah 5th of November and then he's got a whole alliteration speech I can think of no reason that gunpowder treason should ever be forgot if you got in trouble and needed to be bailed out of jail who is the person you would call

well the first part of the question if you're where if you got in trouble and needed to be bailed out of jail who is the person you call question is for everyone um so i've only that's only happened once it was when my cousin and i got arrested that time at walmart when we were open carrying and it was a wrongful arrest and they had to apologize and expunge our records and all but there we were in the clink getting our mug shots taken and all and i and it was a wrongful arrest and they had to apologize and expunge our records and all. But there we were in the clink getting our mug shots taken and all. And it was like 4 in the morning and I didn't want my dad to know, right?

Because he's just not going to handle this news well. Even though I felt we were in the right, so we called my uncle because I felt like my cousin had been in so much trouble growing up. Not really arrest, but actually, yeah, a few arrests and stuff and all that sort of thing. So I felt like my uncle receiving the phone call that, hey, we're in jail. We need you to bail us out. He wouldn't be as awful to us when he got there. And sure enough, when he got there, he was just kind of like casual about it.

He acted like he was coming to like, uh, jump our, uh, like we had a dead batter. He was coming to like jump our truck off or something like is he your father's brother yeah yeah he was super cool about it uh when he got there i was like hey uh get me out too right he was like yeah i was like good good because because they they were we were sitting in like the office and there was a computer monitor up there that showed the the jail like where they were going to put us and it was like 12 black guys and none of the the the individual cells were locked the the so all the doors were open back there and they were seriously like rioting back there like jumping up and down hooting and hollering like had like their shirts

off like hitting stuff with them and they're throwing shoes and I was just like what you're describing like did they throw feces at the spectators like holy shit Kyle we're watching on a security camera and like like they're going they're like going crazy back there and I'm like you know gonna put us back there are you and he's like well not as long as you can get somebody up here pretty soon and I was like all right well we're gonna have somebody right here in a fucking minute let us chill out right here and you know

lost Kyle but I have Merker right you're faking you fucker I can see you moving your eyes are moving see I think he's oh they're both see I think he's oh they're both gone well welcome to the woody show um Taylor said he just lost me I'm worried that the feces thing is the most racist thing I've ever said and there'll be a harsh pushback on that.

My apologies. But let's see. I'm looking at my router and I can see that I have a solid internet connection. And I'm just going to hit a web page and reload it. Instantly loaded. So I'm going to hang up this call and call it back and quickly hang up on cheese and kumiya I think all right I've got Kyle it was odd yeah I didn't lose my internet connection but I seem to have lost both of you so weird

yeah my internet so it's got a quality information bar down in the bottom right and that went to like red uh and i just lost connection but yeah i it implies it's me because i lost both of you like yeah would you both lose your connection at the same time but um and maybe it's a weird skype thing because i uh i didn't lose any other. But I called my uncle in the past. At this point, I guess I'd call my dad. Or I guess it would just depend on what the case was.

Like what happened. I'd call my dad or I'd call my lawyer probably. I'd call my lawyer. Yeah, most likely. I think I'd call my wife. But if you live nearby, I'd probably call you you i just feel like you'd be better at it like i can totally like picture a scenario where jackie shows up and she's like oh you don't take credit cards like damn it honey like no like account for this write you a check come on i. I'm good for it.

It's something you'd find out. I don't know. I just worry that she'd show up and not get it right. Whereas, I don't know. I bet you'd get it right. I don't remember what they did. It seemed like my uncle just had to sign a piece of paper or something because he owned property in the county or something like that.

So I guess he was kind of putting his property up as our bail in a way. But, you know, he knows his son and his nephew aren't skipping the country over this like misdemeanor or anything. So, yeah, I called my uncle then. But nowadays I'd probably call my lawyer. I feel like he'd be the best at handling that sort of thing or my dad if it was some like. It also depends on the kind of trouble, too. Like the trouble you described was really minor you know so like it's just a matter of like getting this what if you

like what if you like like run someone over it like being negligent driving or something yeah like yeah like you ran a red light accidentally and yeah yeah then you call yeah yeah i think it'd be yeah that'd be a good one to call an attorney get that worked out that's not just my parents whichever one I thought was awake. Definitely who I would call. Which one would handle it better? Let's say you got in a bar fight and you paralyzed a girl. Oh my god.

Because she was just talking shit and you had to slam her. You gotta do what you gotta do. You kept taking the worst left turn you could. Oh, it would be so bad. taking the worst left turn you could. The whole way. Oh, it would be so bad. It was one of those scenarios where there was a heavyset girl and she just kept pushing and kept pushing. It was like, you won't, you won't, you won't,

you won't. And you just finally gave her a smack and she had one of those million dollar baby awful, like one in a billion falls and hits her head on that you know, you're sitting at the bar and there's a thing you put your feet on. She hits her head on that and that you know you're sitting at the bar and there's a thing you put your feet on and she hits her head on that she's fucking done and you're just like i just barely touched right i barely touched her but every white night within like earshot is just like murder who do you call then

honestly either one but it would be really contingent on what like the last two week dynamic had been with either one of them like if i was in like a spat with one of them it'd be like all right no yeah go in the other direction uh yeah there's no good one to call for that i don't feel like my mom is a is a good person to call for really any scenario i can't think of something that would happen to me that would require me to call. Where I think, like, you know what this situation needs? My mom. Like, never.

Maybe just not close to your mom? Uh-uh. I don't like her. I don't think she's a very good person. She was nice enough to me and all, very loving, and she helped me with my school projects and was always helping with that sort of thing and putting up with my bullshit to some extent.

But we just don't get along together. We don't mesh. She doesn't have a sense of humor, for one thing. My dad was telling a story the other day. Apparently, there's this country breakfast restaurant he goes to every morning. He's eating breakfast, and he overhears this table of people next to him. It's a bunch of old ladies and men, and they're talking about washing you know what i mean it's like old country folk talk and my dad's like he just like slides in with him and interjects himself in the conversation he's like you know

what what my wife does she's got a machine it she dry cleans the sheets she dry cleans them herself and they were like how what really how does she do that she said well she it's called a uh a hoover vacuum she gets it up on the bed there and runs it across the sheets and sucks up all the rocks and dirt and whatever's got in there and she dry cleans them like that and you know he's eating his breakfast goes on and they all looking at him now you know why are there rocks and sticks and dirt in your bed? He's like, well, you know, when I'm done working at night, I'm so damn tired. I just plop down in bed wearing my work clothes and, you know,

the rocks and stuff fall out of my pockets and my shoes and stuff. And, you know, it's pretty rough in there. But she dry cleans it with that Hoover and, you know, no problem. No problem at all. And then he just got up and walked away. He tells my mom this. He tells me and I'm crying laughing. He's a good storyteller.

He tells my mom this. He's like, Now they think I'm a damn dumbass, Lamar. He's just like, Honey, if they were stupid enough to believe that, they're the dumbasses. Try cleaning all the sticks and rocks out of your bed. Yeah, she sucks up all the sticks and the rocks and stuff, and they're just like, why are there sticks and rocks?

Well, you know, they just fall out of my pockets and my shoes when I get in bed at night. Like he's a child playing in the woods every day, just constructing little spheres, fighting imaginary people. I've got one that's interesting to me i'm going to graduate college soon with no debt holy fuck good for you that i mean it's cool um i got offered a 75 000 salary job as a computer security engineer also very good i like security because typically you have to be i'm assuming he's american and they can't outsource that job oftentimes because it's government shit.

And there's always more work to do. Yeah. It's not a job that people tend to outsource to other companies. They keep security in-house more than most. Should I get a master's degree in computer science or do something else, like get an MBA because I love technical work, but I don't want to be coding for the rest of my life? Or should I even get a master's degree other than the S&P 500 which ETF should I invest into I'll be starting my 401k with no job and I was looking to get into a low

expense ratio vanguard mutual fund and they all seem to have good yield ratios do you guys know like any of them if you don't mind Woody um I'll be taking this one okay let's start off with your computer science degree i think i'm the resident expert so all right i'm gonna go piss and i'm gonna let you tell this guy what career path he could take because i'm sure you are the perfect person to ask about first of all fucking awesome for this guy or bully for this guy um i've become british people have made me feel like this scenario doesn't play out anymore. Like there are no jobs that like, hey, I'm getting a college degree soon. I have no debt.

I have a $75,000 salary and I'm working in computer security. Like all of those things are great. It's as if we mind-melded on this stuff, you know, for what he should be doing. In terms of a master's, I don't know. I really like the idea of doing it while you work. And there's a lot of jobs that will help pay for tuition too. So that's a really cool thing. Forgoing another two years of potential earnings while you get your master's and stuff.

I don't love it. I think it would be nice. Also, if you do work for a little while, it will help guide your decision on whether to get like a comp sci masters or an MBA so you'll figure out what you like and what people are doing and where you want to head you might love coding right now but you see management and you'll love management or you might find you know you learn more about the tech the the tracks open to technical people you know they you there's more than just coding to tech tracks. Eventually you work your way to be some sort of architect

that doesn't code as much as they used to. They just have to understand technologies and make decisions. You can be a CTO, for example. They just understand the technology landscape and help guide their company into the right place. You're not actually coding anymore as you are making higher level decisions on how to do stuff from a tech way.

And then in terms of investing, God, people who understand my financial talk know that I love the S&P 500. And he's looking at low expense ratio Vanguard mutual funds. Holy shit, this guy's on the right track. I love this. If I were to pick another one, like if you didn't want to put everything into the S&P 500, I don't know know Russell 2000 or Russell 1000 or something like that as a secondary choice but it's the same concept an index fund that goes across the whole economy so that's my take on it in a nutshell Taylor well I'm sorry I don't know if I go ahead no you pretty much hit everything I would have said aside from all the vanguard whatever the hell

I have no idea what that means you should stay out of the vanguard that's where most of the casualties are in Lord of the Rings taught me anything but um yeah don't just continue two years of school when you could be working figuring out what you want to do and take it from there also missing out on what

what is that 150k in two years if he is going to walk directly from school to the new job and gets going right away. Like that's excellent. Don't pass that up. That's like that. That's incredibly rare for this day and age. This seems like there's a reasonable chance that he could say fund his own master's degree, finish with 30 degree or 15 to 30 grand in debt by doing that program

and get the same $75,000 salary coming out of it. And he won't even have to pay for it himself. If he goes to a big firm, like you said, they're going to at least offer some sort of percentage assistance with paying for it. Cisco paid, I think, 100% of my tuition, which works out to be about two thirds of your expenses. I had to buy my own books. I had to buy, you know, all the other things that weren't tuition. It seems like there's always some sort of fee and parking fee and sports team fee and shit. They just paid the thing that was called

tuition. But, um, uh, you know, that, that was a, that was a big help. I feel like I earned that, you know, cause it's a, it's a benefit you get from working there. Uh, and it's hard to work and go to school at the same time, but you know, it was a it's a benefit you get from working there and it's hard to work and go to school at the same time but you know it was a part of the pay i felt like everyone who didn't use that part of the pay was just being lazy which was the overwhelming majority of people yeah so i have a thing here from um from chiz this this uh mid-roll survey uh i'll link it to you guys so you have it in front of you. Yeah, I actually... Unless you already do. I'll slowly paste it to you. So I'm going to read through this.

You all know that we have great advertisers that support the show and keep it free for you. One of the reasons why advertisers love Painkiller already is that they know the show has amazing listeners. Right now, we have a survey that we'd like you to take to help us learn more about our audience. Just go to podsurvey.com slash painkiller. The survey will only take five minutes. It's going to ask you some questions about yourself and what you like to buy. It's completely anonymous. Your answers will help us find advertisers that are well matched to you, your interest, and the show. When you're finished, you can enter a monthly drawing to win a $100 Amazon gift card. Even if you've taken a podcast listener survey before, we'd like you to take hours and help support the show.

Don't forget that you have a chance to win a $100 gift card. Once again, that's podsurvey.com slash painkiller. There should be a link in the description. Thanks for helping us find the best advertisers so that we can keep the show going. And, it really does mean a lot that you guys fill out the survey for us. So please help us out.

And who knows, you might get a gift card out of the whole thing as well. Yeah. Tell us what you like. Yeah. I want to see the survey. I haven't looked at it yet. Oh,

have people taken this already or is it, uh, no, I haven't looked at it yet oh people taking this already or is it I know I have just go live I just want to see like how many questions are there and stuff like that I'm looking it's live now when you get oh it's pod survey comm slash pka painkiller painkiller maybe I didn't post it right didn't post it right there it is that behind you um it's a uh it's 18 questions um mostly like radio buttons uh are you boy or girl what's your job do you have kids highest level of education things questions about things that you buy um that demographic stuff that's going to help us find advertisers i'm just by scanning it i imagine that it takes like three to five minutes to fill this thing out.

It's a Daniel Defense M4. Daniel Defense. Yeah, I like that. They're based out of Georgia. They make really good AR-15s. I actually met with them the other day. I think I'm going to be doing a video. Yay.

Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, you got to get three videos in this year. That's my goal for you. I got two. I got filming the one next week and then the flamethrower soon thereafter. So I got those two. That's two-thirds there. I'm looking forward to blowing the house up.

That's going to be fun. Yeah. Is that just going to be one long Just yeah mayhem video Yeah, I think you know we'll take it apart a little at a time a different way every time like there definitely be like a Big firing squad of like half a dozen machine gun shooting it at one point and then you know Interior shots of the house getting shot up and do some like probably shoot inside the house Just I think it might be since we have the walls there be like let's see how far an ar-15 how many walls an ar-15 shoots through if you fire it off in your house like kind of sky's the limit with that and then we're driving the tank through it and stuff can

we hang up and call back just see if it fixes taylor's camera can you see taylor kyle yeah wow it's just me then yeah i can i'm in the little box down there so i can see myself and it's not like the widescreen that says it hasn't been in. Can you flip your camera on and off? Oh, Lord. Fingers crossed. All right. Now only I can see myself, because I'm still on that widescreen.

Yeah, I no longer can see Taylor. Well. You should probably hang up and recall okay oh look they can see the uh topics and questions and things that are private i predict no change no mine yeah i can see everyone. Yeah, I can see everyone but Woody. Everyone but me. Everyone but you. Yep.

You're still loading. Could you see me before? No. Oh, I see you. Now I can see you. Here we are. You look good. All right.

Oh, thank you. I'm glad we did that. Yeah. And knowing that guy with the mansion that just needs to be destroyed, like, how do you just, that's like a Forrest Gump style fall into something great, especially for someone like you. Oh yeah.

For me, it's great. It's a perfect scenario. Went out there and, and did that tank video with his tank a while back. Yeah. It's nice little mutual, mutually beneficial arrangement.

Cause I'm sure he wants to bring attention to his ranch and all the stuff they do there. Because it's a big game ranch, but also what they do, what he's wanting to do, I think, is make it like an adventure ranch. So he's bought three tanks. I think he got a Leopard tank. He got the Sherman. I think he got another one that I can't, I don't know the name of,

like a Russian one. And then he got a big howitzer, big artillery piece. And he's got an explosive license and a firearms license. He's got machine guns and all that stuff. And I think the idea eventually is maybe to make it like an adventure park where you can go out to Texas, drive a tank, shoot it. He's got tanks where the main gun works, which is a hassle to get done. And he's working on real live fire high explosive

ammunition and all that stuff so i think that's his goal eventually it's like a dude vacation or a dudecation dream destination they have something similar up in michigan i think it's called but but like i've talked to them before and their thing is like really watered down like they're only operational a few days through the year and all they do is drive stuff over with the tanks uh they don't have working guns and this guy's working on having like legit tanks that shoot the main gun and have machine guns strapped on them and all that stuff so crush stuff shoot stuff all that stuff so it should be fun um i'm really looking forward to it we're supposed to go this week but uh it rained out there and it got

pushed to uh next week can you talk more out there and it got pushed to next week. Can you talk more about the guy and his background or is that private information? I know what company he used to run and how he got to where he is. It's called HostGator. At one point, he was hosting 4% of the entire internet, his company was. He's about my age. He sold the company a few years back and made a large sum of money. Huge money.

He hosted Huppet, actually. I mean, he didn't know me or anything. And I'm not sure if I was pre- or post-sale or throughout the sale. But, you know, when he just cashed out. But, yeah, HostGator is huge. And when we picked a host for huppet gaming when it landed on hostgator i definitely know of the the company he ran and uh it's pretty neat that like i wonder how he got into that and just decided to be that guy i i've talked to him a lot but not about that

um we mostly talked about why he's doing what he's doing now because it's 20 000 acres it's just such an enormous plot of land he's got there it really is like his own country you know there's no and once you get to hit the borders it's not like his property borders a town or anything resembling one like you've got to drive an hour to get to a town like with a walmart or something in it does he really how does he get electricity? It's got electricity. I mean, it's... There's power lines there. Yeah, yeah.

But everything else is, I guess, well water and propane and... I suppose. I didn't really think about it. I didn't see propane, but maybe. Probably electric instead of propane, I guess, so it wouldn't have to be trucked out there or anything. But he's got a lot of he bought the giant gigantic property and then he improved it because it had creeks and stuff on it but he built these big concrete dams that resemble something like

a government would do in a town or a city you know like big concrete dams right and make he made these reservoirs of water for all the wild game and just some of it it's not like he's got like stuff that you know like he's got the stuff you know like there's a kangaroo there's a camel there's wildebeest or whatever there's buffalo and bison and uh like it all the stuff you might recognize but then there's like these weird uh indian cattle where like the where the horn comes out of their head is like this big around and each horn is like three and a half feet long going straight out to the side um and all these weird red stags and these weird elk and deer from around the world you can hunt those or just look at them either way uh you got to pay to hunt them though uh it's pretty expensive from what i understand but he's also got like caverns all over the place that

you go in and explore apparently the place used to be owned by some German guy. He was a, what's the German royalty? What are they called? What are they? Kaiser. I can't help you. Duke or something. Anyway, there was a silver mine on the property,

and they have records to show how much silver was taken out of that mine and sold, so they know it was a productive silver mine. But at some point that German guy was murdered, they think, and robbed and no now no one knows the location of the silver mine so this guy like hikes this place like frequently on goes on long day-long hikes looking for the silver mine and along the way he's discovered a cavern here and there and like we went down into one and it's just a hole in the side of a mountain and you just go down an emergency ladder until you get to the bottom and it's just a giant cavern in there um it's a real it's like jurassic park if i had to compare it to anything it's like going to jurassic park that sounds awesome yeah i'm looking forward to it i'm gonna film that guy's house i i'm going to and then destroy it

that should be fun that's pretty neat yeah extreme wealth is cool there's opportunity god i want to make a video about this and i know people are already tired of hearing about it That should be fun. That's pretty neat. Yeah, extreme wealth is cool. There's opportunity. God, I want to make a video about this, and I know people are already tired of hearing about it on PKA, but if you live in a first world country, America, England, most of Europe, et cetera, there's a tremendous amount of wealth in your country. And if you can figure out a way to make people,

happy customers hand over that wealth to you you can get very rich and you know what this guy is doing obviously has huge capital startup expenses but the first one didn't and um no i'm impressed that he did it good for him yeah um and i don't even think i don't know if it's a money i don't think he expects for the place to ever pay for itself i think he's really just put himself in like his dream scenario because he's like you know king of his country out there and he's got employees and guys who help run the place and feed the animals and stuff and you know what he needs an event happiness coordinator dude he's pretty good at it he's pretty good at it he's into guns and uh and that's

sort of obviously you know you got a hunting ranch is he married he's got a girlfriend i don't think they're married he's got it okay yeah that's risky business getting getting married in that situation uh-huh it could be yeah yeah definitely so uh but that's just the coolest i've never been anywhere like that before i'm really looking forward to going back again I hope get to do so that was where like They took me out to the edge of the property We all got the machine guns and everything and he told me that we were gonna go clear this shack that were the illegals like to stop and sleep overnight And so we get out there on our ATVs and he's like be quick about it because they got a lookout sometimes

They'll know we're coming and we get out there and sure enough There's a house out in the wilderness and we hop out and he's like who wants to go in and clear it and because because he'd said you know sometimes we catch the illegals here and we we grab them and we call uh border patrol and they come and pick them up and i was like i'll fucking go so i got my like machine gun with a light on it and i'm like going through the house looking around and everything and and sure enough there's like names written on the walls as he's described like people signed in as they pass through there's old mattresses on the floor and i go into the back room and i check left and then i check the right corner and there is a guy standing with a ski mask and a machine gun pointed right back at me and i just go

motherfucker it's a mannequin it's a mannequin with a fake gun and they fooled me it scared the shit out of me though i almost shot it i was i almost shot it right there i bet it had some bullet holes in it i i i think i asked him if anybody ever shot it before and he said once somebody shot it um but but like it was it's it scared me pretty If you shot it, would you be embarrassed of shooting too quick or not? Yeah. So you're not supposed to. I'd have been very embarrassed if I had shot a mannequin thinking that I was defending my life in a cabin. Yeah, that would have been super embarrassing.

You know what would have been more embarrassing is if you got killed by a guy in a ski mask in the middle of Texas in the shack in the middle of nowhere on like a bum rush drill even like I could tell like when I looked at it like there was just you know I there's something mannequin-y about it better than to pull the trigger but but I wasn't you know I I don't know it just wasn't a pull the trigger now scenario because there was just something off. But I didn't shoot. It did scare the fuck out of me, though. I'd be so pissed if someone did that to me. I got a good sense of humor. Like, right after that, like, the second group of people showed up, and I did the same thing to them.

But I led it this time. I was like, check in the back room. Check in the back room. There's a hatch in the floor. We think somebody might have went out the hatch. I don't know. Go check back there. And he does this. He goes back room. There's a hatch in the floor. We think somebody might have went out the hatch. I don't know. Go check back there. And he does this. He goes back there. Ah! He screamed like a girl.

So it was even better. It was pretty good. I want to be in this guy's posse. That guy who just gets paid to hang around. Make him laugh or do whatever. Clean the dishes. He didn't have any people like that. He did have people that worked for him but they were really capable, like, grown-up people. It didn't look like he had employed his buddies have any people like that. He did have people that worked for him, but they were really capable, like, grown-up people. It didn't look like he had employed

his buddies or some shit like that. He had professional guys that knew what they were doing running the place. He had foremen who would run the construction crews, and he had a guy who ran the animals and such. I don't know. I'm looking forward to going back out there. I hope we get to hunt a little

this time. Last time, we drove around on soupeded up ATVs and chased pigs through the field. Do you remember what it was? Your souped up ATV? It was a thousand CC. Was it a UTV or was it like a quad? It had four tires. Did it have a roof? Yep.

Okay. So it was a UTV. It sounds like a Polaris something. There were two rows of seats. Two guys in the back and two guys in the front. Maybe a Razor or something. I just don't remember. He had, to be honest, he had three of the things,

and they were all slightly different. One was a two-seater that was supposed to be the really sporty one, and then there was one that wasn't as as sporty but it would get six people around and then there was one that would hold four but would go so fast it got scary so a little bit of everything i was looking at something in that class i really don't need it right but i okay i'm so conscious of repeating stories but i love my golf cart I love that golf cart so much. I use it every day, every single day. Well, it gets used every day.

I probably use it five days a week. And I get a big kick out of it. Every time I hit the gas pedal, it puts a smile on my face. I'm just happy to drive around my property on the golf cart. And I went to Agri Supply, this agricultural supply, like Home Depot style store. And they had a golf cart on steroids. It was a Polaris Brutus, for those of you who know. And it had doors that closed.

It had air conditioning and heating. And it had a PTO shaft out the front that meant that it could drive machinery. So this was a golf cart that mows your yard and I thought it would be the most amazing thing in the world. It's expensive at like 24 grand. Yeah, it's no joke. Yeah, whenever they get that

expense, there's a point where ATVs and stuff get to the price where you could get a nice Toyota pickup truck and it doesn't make sense anymore to me. Like you get a four wheels drive Toyota pickup truck, and it doesn't make sense anymore to me. Like, you get a four-wheel drive Toyota pickup truck that'll not only do everything the ATV will virtually, but, you know, you can drive it on the road and do it. You know, it's a car.

I never understood that. There seems like a point where it's like, you should get a Toyota. I think there's a case for it. You know, like you said, I think this thing will go on the road. It'll go 50 miles an hour. But it's also, it's not a whole car to get into. It's much lighter. So it's easier if you're driving it in grass all the time. Um, and it has a PTO at the front so it can operate

implements. And it, you can put a, one of those, uh, street sweeper things on. If you've got that task, you can put a lawnmower on. If you have that task. You can put a little, like, you can clear snow with it. It's a utility vehicle. There's all sorts of utilities that you can do with it that you wouldn't do with a small pickup truck. It's not for me. I don't think I have a justification for it, but your father could.

I wonder if anybody, I wonder if anyone's ever taken a four-wheel drive pickup truck and taken, you know, where the little drive shaft comes off the transfer case and goes to the four-by-four if they've ever sent it out to a pto shaft instead so that you go four by four and you got a pto running you know some of the dermax has came with a pto but i don't know how it works exactly like that allison transmission sometime in like the mid-2000s uh lost its pto shaft and some people were upset power takeoff it's basically just aTO shaft and some people were upset. It's a PTO. Power takeoff. It's basically just a spinning shaft, and then that spinning thing, like any engine,

can power all sorts of things. All the stuff that goes on the back of the tractor that turns and whips and does anything is being powered by that shaft that's spinning in the back. But I was just thinking, like, if you're making your zombie vehicle, like maybe you've got a big 4x four truck and you make that four by four instead spin like a spinning blade of death out the front so you're driving along like a six foot tall snowblower right so

you just suck up the zombies and squirt them out the top like a wood chipper oh that'd be cool it's a lot of energy for the theatrics of it when you could just push them over. But yeah, no, it's like if you put a giant wood chipper in front of a full size truck, I saw a truck today that I would very, very much like to have.

I've had truck fever, but it's gotten really intense lately. We'll see what happens with it. Yeah. I don't think you'll pull the trigger. I never do, but yeah, we'll see. We'll see. So you guys want a new topic? I don't think you'll pull the trigger I never do but uh we'll see

so you guys want a new topic or more AMA questions I can go either way oh we didn't talk about YouTube Red that's the subscription thing where it's like you can pay 10 bucks and then you don't have to watch ads ever right yeah

I know there was some outrage on behalf of content producers and then you don't have to watch ads ever, right? Yeah. Is that all there is to it? Yeah, I'm wondering. I know there was some outrage on behalf of content producers. Stupid ones, kind of. I don't know. So here's what I know about YouTube Red. One, you don't see any ads, right? Like an ad block almost.

So your YouTube experience will be ad-free, and that's a thing. Two, you can also download the videos. Uh, I know there are services that like a keep vid is one that lets you download videos, but I found that that like, if you download videos a lot, it's broken a lot. I think YouTube might break it on purpose. I'm not sure, but, um, you'll be able to download videos officially. Uh, if you're a mobile user, you can watch videos while you do other things. So that's kind of cool. Like maybe you're watching a podcast or something

and you want to check the weather, surf the web while it's sort of buzzing in the background. YouTube Red will let you do that. Whereas currently you can't multitask. You know, like if you switch off the YouTube app, then that shuts down. So those are things people like. I'm wondering how it's going to affect the pay to partners.

So partners still get money. It's based on minutes watched. So a lot of people were like outraged, like, oh, my God, the big channels are going to get paid more. But that's horseshit. Ad revenue is also kind of based on minutes watched like you know the more minutes watched the more they promote your stuff if you have a four-hour video like this one it tends to do a little better than like i know if you're under a minute for example they don't even run good ads on it you might get a shitty like slide up thing from the bottom which is like

30 cents for a thousand views or seven how does but how does minutes watched make sense like it shouldn't be ad shouldn't be it's always been based on impressions i i thought you know kind of the goal is to get the ad in front of the person but if it's minutes watched like how how am i sure that an ad got served during those four minutes what if the ad was served in the first minute of the four minutes why does that other three minutes even matter? So it's currently like they try to make it based on minutes watched. Like if there's more minutes watched. And by the way, two people watching a 10-minute video is the same as one watching a 20-minute video.

But YouTube's algorithms sort of help promote things that get more minutes watched. So someone like Jenna Marbles or FPS Russia who gets like a million views on a video will have better push behind it than a smaller channel. But like I said, longer videos are better than shorter ones. But even with ad stuff, like I, I don't know if it's changed, but back when I paid close attention to this sort of thing, a good thing happened at seven minutes, like you became eligible for the better paying ads. And then a better thing happened at 10 minutes, like you became eligible for the best paying ads. And then a better thing happened at 10 minutes. Like you became eligible for the best paying ads. If your video is only four minutes long, then it gets monetized much worse than it would if it were longer. And it just seems like this YouTube bread thing is really similar in that like, yeah, the longer

you watch. So they've got this pool of money. Then you pay 10 bucks a month, right? Let's say I pay $10 a month. And all I do is watch one FPS Russia video and nothing else the whole time, then you get the whole $10. But if I watch FPS Russia for five minutes and I watch Jenna Marbles for 10 minutes, then you're going to get one-third, she's going to get two-thirds,

and that's how it's split up. Well, what if... Oh, that's interesting. But are we... So we're only going to get paid out of a pool of these red users? For the red money. I mean, you still get ad money in the way that it worked for everything else.

But if you're going to buy that red, you're going to be watching like 50 different content producers. All of them are going to get like a quarter. Yeah, I just haven't. I need some numbers. I don't have the exact numbers. Historically, we know that YouTube takes, what is it, 40% or 60%? I think they take 45%, right? I don't have the exact numbers historically we know that youtube takes what is it 40 or 60 i think they take 45 right i don't know exactly i think i think it's 45 55 and i forget which side we get i think it might be the smaller one so if an advertiser pays 10 this is

not not youtube bread but an ad guy pays 100 or whatever to put his ads across everything, then 45 of that goes to the content producer and 55 of that goes towards YouTube. And I would guess that with YouTube Red, there'll be a similar split. So now they pay $10. There's four and a half bucks that gets split to the videos that he watches. Most people seem to think that the money's way better like if you're a youtube bread subscriber as you know an ad if someone watches a video the the content creator only gets like two hundredths of a penny or something like it takes thousands of views to equal two bucks or something like that or a thousand views is about two dollars ish um so you're not getting very much for a particular view whereas if you're paying ten dollars then that's probably a lot more than the advertising that you're watching so they think

that this is going to increase the money that content creators get because people who voluntarily pay ten dollars instead of watching ads will he's gonna buy this though when you can just do keep it an ad block or just free websites that provide the same service. I heard someone call it Adblock for people who don't like money. I just know my network was warning about it maybe three months ago. Like, hey, don't sign anything. There's this thing coming. Don't sign it right away.

Like, we've got to think this whole thing through first. It's smart to think it through, but based on what I've heard, it's a positive thing. And you call it Adblock for people who don't like money money but there are a lot of people who like their content creators and want to support them like there are people who know of adblock but decide not to do it because they don't want to fuck the people that provide the service for them hey i'm with you 100 when you watch my videos i'd really appreciate it if you didn't run adblock because i don't get paid for that shit. And my shit costs a lot of money and it's my money.

But, you know, at the same time, like, what are you going to do sometimes? Sometimes you want to watch two YouTube videos in a row and there's like a three-minute ad you can't skip sometimes. I know they're doing that to the people who had Adblock. They're putting the unskippable ads on them now. Yeah, I feel like this isn't a coincidence like they're like you know step one ruin adblock step two sell youtube red it doesn't seem like it's random to me there's a there's billions of people uh at least a billion or so who love youtube it's it's the most popular websites on the internet but it doesn't make any

money it doesn't turn much of a profit so it roughly breaks even yeah roughly breaks even so you know for everybody who loves youtube that of the because of the thing that it is it's such a cool thing where all your content producers are just average joes for the most part you know nowadays corporations have jumped into the mix but you know you should you should want to support youtube if you can so yeah i mean you see it on twitch a lot to me or uh you know content producers. I mean, you see it on Twitch a lot too. I don't know how it's going to affect me or content producers in general. I've heard bad things. I've heard scary things from people. So I hope it all works great.

I'd love to get a raise. Who wouldn't? But there's people who are thinking that it might go the other way. So we'll see what happens. I've heard good things. I've heard... Basically, it's just that if you consider watching an ad paying, you're paying like two hundredths of a cent.

I don't know if I have that right, but you're paying like you personally pay. You know, if you watch 10 of them, would that be two cents? Because one hundred twenty cents. Yeah. So if you watch 10 of them, you pay two cents. If you watch one time, you're paying roughly point two pennies. Right. watch one time you're paying roughly 0.2 pennies right a good way to think about it is like you know a cpm if the company if budweiser's paying a ten dollar cpm um that means you'd have to watch a thousand of their ads before the ten dollars was was used up whereas here it's you know just

i like that a lot and ten dollars is more than we actually get. So, yeah. But hypothetically, if they paid $10, you'd have to watch a thousand. It's more than we get, but a lot of the networks will keep a lot of that money. Because I've seen the numbers of what Budweiser pays. Alcohol companies in particular, their CPMs were crazy high. Jaguar was running a thing with Machinima one time, and it was running at a $45 CPM. That's what they were paying. Where was that money going?

Yeah, I didn't get that. To them. Oh, it went to me. You didn't hear? That Machinima money went to me, y'all. It must have, because I wasn't getting $45. I wasn't getting $20. Yeah, I wasn't getting $3.

So what was I going to say? But yeah, in the fourth quarter, for example, I hear that $60 CPMs and stuff happen. But I don't seem to get that. I don't know. I mean, I'm sure YouTube takes a half and then whatever. But I like the way you put it. If there were a $10 CPM on this thing, someone would have to watch 1,000 videos. And odds are he doesn't.

Odds are that over the course of the month, the guy watches 300 videos if he's real active and even out of those 300 odds are you're not watching 10 cpm ads a lot of them you're probably getting those 65 cent cpm ads that like pop up at the bottom third and then like you click it away and it's gone again like those are like 45 cents or and the way the ads work, this could have changed, but it used to be like if you sat through an ad, then you weren't even eligible to sit through another ad

for like seven or 15 minutes. So let's say that you sit through an ad and you watch a five minute video. That next video doesn't have that kind of ad. Like, you know, you don't get it every single time. Now this could have changed, but they wouldn't like blast you with crappy ads

every single video. They would only do that if you're watching 20 minutes or something, and then you maybe get two in a row. So, but yeah, it's unlikely that someone's going to watch a thousand ads and that's what, you know, what it'd be worth. So anyway, YouTube Red, I think is going to throw more money in the pot. I'm guessing it gets split much like ad money does now and content creators will earn more if it gets popular. It won't get popular until ad block is just eradicated. It just won't. There's no way. It's hard to compete with free.

The way to do it is to provide a better service than free. I don't know if downloadable videos and being able to multitask on your phone is worth it. I bet to podcast listeners, it might be extra worth it. If you watch, if all you watch are street fight videos, for example,

multitasking is worthless to me, right? You know, I need to see the thing I'm engaged. It's, it's whatever. But if you listen to a lot of more passive stuff like painkiller already then you're probably more of a red candidate you know like

definitely more of one but even then it's like it seems like people who are listening to that on their phone are on itunes podbean soundcloud something like that anyway you know like very few people are running the whole four hours on youtube draining their whole phone battery that's possible yeah that's a good point unless it's plugged in and they're driving but that's a thought too hey uh i just linked you this thing it says uh first real footage released from magic leap the mysterious visual technology company that google invested over 500 million dollars and it's a one minute video uh i uh i saw a little of it and it looked very interesting you want to watch this thing yeah yeah 500 million oh that's what all right let's see this uh give me a moment please well i haven't heard of this your pictures are all

shot directly through magic leap technology on on October 14th, 2015. No special effects or compositing were used in the creation of these videos. Ready? Yeah. Ready, set, play. No special effects? There's a robot under the table. That's floating in the air.

It looks like it is a special effect. Am I not understanding? What you're seeing is what it's like to wear this headset, not what a computer generated. Oh, I thought they were trying to convince me this was real life. No, you're experiencing what it's like to wear the headset. I didn't know it was a headset. Huh. So basically, it's like to wear the headset. I didn't know it was a headset. Huh.

So basically, it's augmented reality, right? Right now, there's a solar system in an office environment just kind of floating above a desk. Previously, there was a cute little computer floating a few inches off the ground. It's like they could take your world and make it real life plus. Kind of trippy, yeah.

This guy, and the number one comment can i use this technology to overlay a younger sexy woman on top of my wife the answer is yes yeah i'm sure you're good that will be the first app made time machine so i'm trying to think of what virtual flat virtual paper bag what would you use it for? Like it? I could imagine sports events where they put the damn first yard line across the football field would be so incredible for education. Like imagine like, you know, that prop that Colin needed that was so expensive that human

body thing. Now that's virtual and each student has their own and they can interact with it and pull the pieces out and then it goes away because it's free. It's an's it's you know it's it's information inside their headset you can do the sporting events like you said or maybe there's a maybe you can overlay lines on the floor to guide you places inside a hospital or a building maybe if there's a um there's billions yeah real life could be like dead space where if you're lost it's just where do i go i i bingo take a right that's interesting yeah yeah and then i was picturing a warehouse environment where they solve a similar type

problem like you know i need to find whatever toothbrushes so we can ship them out of amazon and it guides you there you know the dead space or whatever i think the possibilities are limitless especially if you can interact with it like um if you could have a computer display like in the Matrix when they're operating the gates of the of Zion, they've got everything's virtual. They're just reaching around in the air and grabbing things and moving them around. Like if you could do that, then, then the limitations are, there are no limitations to what you could do with this thing. You could operate anything with it, control anything with it.

Really cool technology. If nothing else, it seems like an amazing asset for educational stuff. Like, I feel like being able to visualize algebra right there in the air and plotting line graphs. Like, there's so many things that would be easier if you could just see it, not on a piece of flat paper in 2D. Yeah, so there's three ways to learn that I think I have this right. There's auditory learners, right, who really need to be told a thing.

There are people who can read and retain it that way. And then there's visual learners, you know, people who like manipulate and see things to learn. And I feel like pretty much now, if you're not a read learner, you're fucked. You know, like I guess there's a lecture where you get a one-time chance to hear it and they don't talk to you directly they talk to a whole sea of people but really you need to be able to read and learn on your own to succeed in school with this thing it opens up a whole nother learning path you know you could dissect an ear you know like it how do you learn anatomy and physiology kyle's example was great

you know you could really take the thing apart and put it back together and see how it works in a way that maybe a textbook couldn't do for you not just a person you could have a virtual you know like some things are expensive to work on you could have a virtual automobile there maybe you could work on and i don't even know if it's if you can interact with the things you're seeing but it seems like the logical next step for sure even if you've just got a glove and only the glove can touch it maybe you can't fuck the things you're seeing but you know you can touch them and they'll react then because because then you can have virtual books that you're flipping through if you want to be the ultimate like hipster douchebag you're wearing like this ten thousand dollar headset reading like a virtual

book and flipping using that to put the vinyl record on. The second highest rated comment is interesting. All that secrecy and you release an amateur video perfectly composed with a pretty girl in the background and a simulated lack of gimbal. Stop it with the media BS. Either you have something or you don't. Yeah. I feel like I know what the concept is, but they definitely didn't show me that they have anything yeah yeah i think that's the first look at it so like you know it's just a teaser they're

just trying to get word of mouth going maybe i guess i want to see more like it like everyone i suppose that's cool though 500 million is a huge investment yeah for a solar system in an office worth every penny I knew where all those planets were what the fuck can you name every planet Mirka on the spot go Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars

Saturn, Jupiter Uranus, Neptune Pluto not Pluto uh saturn jupiter uranus neptune pluto you got uh mars and jupiter inversed at mars no mercury all of the terrestrial planets are first and then the gas giants so it's mercury venus earth mars uh jupiter then jupiter saturn uranus neptune pluto yeah because jupiter comes before the rings there you go look at that Mars. Jupiter. Then Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto. Yeah, because Jupiter comes before the rings.

There you go. Look at that. Fourth grade. My very excellent mother just sat under new pines. That's your mnemonic device. My very excellent mother just sat under new pines. That's the mnemonic device for remembering the planets. Under new now.

So no pines. pluto ah depends who you ask it's a rocky planetoid app you saw the pictures of it it looked pretty planetary i looked at it and i saw it there are bigger things out there that are not planets and one of the qualifications was that it really needed to like sort of clear its orbit of other things you know like you're not a planet if there's asteroids and stuff just floating around not giving a shit about you

you have to be like Earth or Jupiter where you've sucked in all the local stuff now you're a planet and apparently Pluto has not done that. I think it was also because they were like okay well now that we have better sight out there, if we're going to call Pluto a planet, there was something else, like a little further away

called Chiron or something. I thought it started with an E. I forget. There's a lot of planetoids out there. Yeah, they're like, okay, well, if we're going to keep Pluto, we've got to add like 60 others. And that's going to be a really long paragraph of mnemonic devices for kids to remember. Yeah, you've got to tell a whole story then.

So let's just cut that one off and call it 8. Yeah. I just saw that they were going to release The Martian in IMAX, which is really lame because I already watched it in a smaller screen. It was the biggest screen next to IMAX, below IMAX, but still, it wasn't IMAX. They're going to release it for a week. There was some other movie that they got IMAX, below IMAX, but still, it wasn't IMAX. They're going to release it for a week. There was some other movie that they got IMAX. Eris.

Oh, that juice movie. E-R-I-S, I think. What? E-R-I-S. Isn't that Pluto's moon? Eris. It's bigger than Pluto. Oh, then I'm totally off.

My space knowledge isn't up to par. Yeah, mine either. off my space knowledge isn't up to par yeah mine either they're calling it the tenth planet but I think that it's a dwarf planet it would depend on who that's Pluto's moon I would say it depends on which astronomer you ask probably i'm sure there are some who would stand by pluto and and i think neil degrasse uh degrasse titans i'm turning into you what have you done to me it's infectious my apologies neil degrasse tyson uh i think he's one of those guys who's like you know is a pluto denier let's call him that i like that he's a pluto denier he's a pluto denier yeah i'm with him i I'm with him. I read the cases for knocking down Pluto as a planet, and it was like, yeah, I guess.

If you haven't met the qualifications, then you're not a planet. We just called it that because we saw it back when we didn't know how much stuff was out there. Now there's bigger things than Pluto that aren't planets. Pluto hasn't cleared out its orbit. Sorry, Pluto, keep working. Maybe you'll collect some mass and become

a planet someday. You've got to build some mass before he can carve you into a planet. Awful. Do you want to do an AMA question? Sure. That's what I'm thinking. Oh, here it is. kyle when you go to give woody his flamethrower will you bring whatever the clip of him being shot in the head is on so he can help get it uploaded yeah i i'm gonna have to do something with it i i can't the problem like i've said is like

one of my computers i don't have the correct editing software to to render it out the other one the uh the card reader is fucked up so i'm not exactly sure what to do i guess i guess i can drop box it to myself and then open it on that one i've got it on my computer i think it's right you know how i say that my um like oh my xbox isn't hooked up and you're like this is a very solvable problem. And I'm like, no, no, no, it's harder than you think because I have to set up my recording devices. There's HDMI switches and repeaters and shit like that so that I can record and play and do all those things.

And then I think it was Chizzy who was like, Woody, if you wanted to do this, do you think it would be done in an hour? Well, yeah. Yeah, I think so. I think I've got plenty of HDMI cables around. I started, like, I have devoted an hour to this. Like, there was one day where I sat down hour well yeah yeah i think so i think i've got plenty of hdmi cables i started like i have devoted an hour to this like there was one day where i sat down and i was like i was trying to

render this thing out and it was a while before i realized my software was the issue because it just was and then i was like all right well i gotta get on the other computer so i you know i take the micro sd upstairs i try i put it in the other computer it won't read it so i spent the whole day trying to figure that out why won't this this thing read it? And then I was like, oh, alright. We'll go get an adapter. Something this goes into and then it's like a USB and that'll plug into the other computer. Edit it there. No. That won't work either.

It won't read the USB. The USB port got fried. As soon as I stuck it in there, it went, yee! It made that noise. And it never worked again. Most computers I know of have like five USBs. Yeah, I know. i tried all of them all i tried all of the usbs uh just moving cables around i just wouldn't go on there so now i've got it it's micro sd stuck in the usb it's uh upstairs sitting on a table uh not quite sure what to do

with it i guess i guess the answer is fucking put it in the the mail. Put it in the mail, and I'll get that shit done. It's like gigs and gigs. It was a 64 gig micro SD, and there's like 40 gigs of video, and the little clip of you getting shot in the head is within a 25-minute video clip, like in the middle of it. And so I have to Dropbox all that shit to myself and then render it i guess that's the tip the way to do it um but yeah i'll get it up i saw you guys want it i'll uh i'll get it done it's it's gonna be it's not gonna live up to to this at this point because

it's too much it's him running i don't know it's it's you see you getting shot in the head you can tell like as soon as it happens you like head down like react to it and it's we'll get to it i think that's what i gotta do now i think about is drop box it to my yeah i didn't cry or anything but i i remember if i remember right head snap back and then afterwards i was just like you know feeling the blood it didn't um it wasn't like i was squirting blood but it was like the skin had shifted out of place by a centimeter and it was all seeping a good amount of blood like enough to drip you know like you touch it and you're like oh shit someone had given you the old three fingers someone gave me their like microfiber or something and i i sort of applied

direct pressure. It was hard to get it to stop bleeding, and it looked terrible. I don't know how much footage there is of the rest of it, but it swelled up to half a tennis ball. It was just giant on my forehead. It was real bad. I've still got a knot up here from getting shot with a paintball. It had been there for so long, but then I started remembering Joe talking about you rubbing it out and

being incredibly painful, but that's the way. I've been doing that a little every day, and it shrinks every day, but I just have to roll my thumb on it as hard as I can until it's excruciating, and I start crying a little, and I stop for the day. I've been doing that every day, and it's shrunk a good bit. It's just a

knot from getting shot. You take it right there on the bone yeah it's those are the worst I should wear a head wrap I've got a pile of head wraps I just don't so hot yeah it's worth the rare bump to not be sweaty constantly yeah I think i don't know if i can find it but i think i took daily pictures of you had such an ugly knot i mean it looked like someone hit you in the head with a ball paint hammer it was it was like a cartoon knot and it wasn't and as bad as that is it wasn't even the worst injury i saw that day my my phone is broken so forgive this but this is the knot on the day of and i look at that grimace i don't even think that showed the bulk of it and then like here it is the next day and then here it is the next day and this is

interesting to me i'll show it to you guys in a second but i'm like furrowing my brow and it's so swollen that i have no wrinkles on the other side of my head yeah i remember trying to be clever yeah like i do one of these deals but one side is so swollen that it doesn't work he just put a band-aid on it and he was trying to figure out does it look better or worse with a band-aid this is me on the airplane and uh i i that's that's how i this is like the way home um i guess this might be the next day look at how the swelling had went down and like closed one of my eyes oh it it's pretty shitty and because Joe told me to he's like you know he's like you gotta sort of rub the swelling out he's like your eyes gonna close

it's gonna get black but that you know just sort of push it out and get the flow here's me just continuing to heal up I guess I've seen a lot of bad ones in paintball I really have but that is definitely top 5 worst paintball shots I've seen a lot of bad ones in paintball. I really have, but that is definitely top five worst paintball shots I've ever seen. Ever.

I've seen some real nasty ones where the skin gets blasted off or something. This is like, I think I'm nearly a week later, and look at how my eye is swollen shut still, and it's black and blue. Man, that guy must have felt bad. I'm almost healed up here it but man it's weird having like a it's not that big a deal to me but um like everyone sees it and it's like at what point do I get to stop looking silly? Yeah. It's a big lump. It looks like in movies and cartoons, like when they portray like a developing demon

and it hasn't quite protruded yet, but like one horn's about to come out. It's about to sprout a horn. I was joking, like when we were in Chicago, I was like, when we were at meals and stuff, I was like, we should act like we're gay lovers and that I'm abusive. And then I did that to you. I thought that would be funny. Everybody asked. I was like, oh, God.

This has to be like nine days out. I was mouthing off. I deserved it. It's my fault. I ran into a doorknob. That's the last picture I took. But, yeah, I was going to put that series of photos on Twitter or something. I don't know.

I just never did. The waitress is like, what happened to you? Don't worry about it. She's clumsy, all right? Fell down the stairs again. Yeah, I'm clumsy. Very clumsy. Yeah, the guy shot me in the head.

I don't know. It wasn't necessarily his fault. You might argue that you're supposed to look where you're shooting but i did just run across his line of fire and the nature of it is you kind of pop out and shoot it's not like you go out and really confirm that the line of sight is clear that's uh yeah i think when you see it um you'll see that like it really it wasn't his fault at all it wasn't anybody's fault like that'd be you just You didn't think you'd get shot when you ran through that doorway, and he didn't think anybody would be running through that doorway. But both of those things happened simultaneously.

I didn't like it. Yeah. It so completely, for the day, sapped my enthusiasm for paintball. Oh, it definitely did. I think I put on the forums, and then I was just done. I was done playing. And Kitty's like, don't write that. People are going to think you got bored.

I got injured. I got injured, and it sapped the fight out of me. It happens. No, you weren't injured. You were wounded because it was in battle. Ooh, I like it. You actually got a purple heart. Yeah.

Yeah. You deserve some kind of medal for that. Yeah, at least a free paintball place hot dog. It's just something. I would take that. Their burgers were good. They were pretty good. Yeah, I remember that. Do you guys want to call it a show?

Sure. Yeah, I think so. Alright, did we... Yeah, I'm sorry. I was was like did we do both ad reads but actually one was the um yeah one was the the form yeah yeah covered our bases i believe all right thank you so much dollar shave club for your sponsorship we love you guys and you make us sexy and then don't forget the survey i'll put a link in the description and you can fill that out and help us get the the best advertisers and such. All right.

Painkiller already. Episode 253. Holy shit. See you later.