Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #257

Episode Date: November 27, 2015

This week on PKA, a discussion about autoblows, covering what recently happened in Paris and some Black Ops 3 zombies talk!

Whatever, we just started. PKA episode 257. You guys missed one of the best pre-shows ever. This episode of Painkiller Already is being brought to you by our friends at Casper. YesCasper.com, where you can get amazing comfortable mattresses shipped straight to your door for far less than the average mattress price. And they're not our only sponsor tonight because this episode is also being brought to you by MeUndies.com, who are changing up the underwear game like no one else. I'm wearing some MeUndies right now, actually.

So you'll hear more about both of those guys later in the show. And there's links down in the description. who are changing up the underwear game like no one else. I'm wearing some MeUndies right now, actually. So you'll hear more about both of those guys later in the show. And there's links down in the description. You know how when... We've got our guest Tucker here tonight. Oh, quick MeUndies word. You know how women... I saw this thing. My wife will be like, my underwear matches, which is code for...

Look, if we have sex and her underwear matches, I'm foolish to think it was my idea right like it was the thing if i the underwear matching is now my equivalent of it's me undies day baby i've got two pair and if i'm rocking the me undies that means i want some oh you're talking about your underwear matching hers i thought you're not matching her up to you if hers we're matching if the bra and underwear matches maybe this is just a married person thing. It's a married person thing. If that package is matching

and she's, you know, then yeah, sex wasn't your idea. You're durable if you think it was. And if I'm wearing undies, or me undies, then that's my way. That's your sign to her. It's a clue.

What other clues do you give? By the way, our guest is Jericho tonight. Tucker's back on. I always love having him. Thanks for coming aboard. But I want to focus on Woody while we're on this. What signs nonverbal, what cues, what physical

wardrobe, diet, all that stuff. I know you don't eat onions. I know you don't eat onions. Like when you eat this steak, you know it. I literally will send her a text that says, you down? That's my big move.

You send her a text when you're both at home? Yeah. I bet I could find some in the history here. It's a big house. Sometimes she'll have service and he won't in the history here. It's a big house. Sometimes she'll have service and he won't in the same house. My way to do it is I text her, I hid Fallout 4.

You know how to get it back? I saw online some Twitter post or Instagram post or something and the girlfriend had broke the guy's Fallout 4 disc because he wasn't spending enough time with her. And I'm thinking like, I'd break up with my girlfriend if she the guy's Fallout 4 disc because he wasn't spending enough time with her. And I'm thinking like I'd break up with my girlfriend if she broke my fucking Fallout 4 disc. Just

on principle. Not that it's $60 or whatever, but no. That's unacceptable. If you don't appreciate what I'm doing at the time being, that's a profound level of disrespect. I'm level 37, motherfucker. I got over 40, 50 hours in this shit.

Painkiller already pro tip. If you're dating someone batshit insane, digital download. That's what I was going to say. She doesn't know I downloaded that. Then she puts a 38 in my Xbox or something. Could backfire. Have you ever tried to destroy an Xbox? A bullet might not even do it. If you shoot the drive or whatever,

I've tried to take a pickaxe to it. That thing... Kyle has shot it before. Kyle made a video about it. It was called Xbox Destruction, maybe? Yeah, Ultimate Xbox. Did you use an R700 or something like that? I shot it with a bunch of stuff, I think.

I can tell you. He shot it with a pistol, and then he shot it akimbo with two pistols, and then he shot it with a shotgun, and then he blew it akimbo with two pistols, and then he shot it with a shotgun, and then he blew it up. And the idea was to set it on fire. But after he blew it up, it was literally gone. Like all he could find, I don't know if he identified it, but it was a heat sink.

All he found was a heat sink. That's what it was. And at the very end of the video, there's like post-credits or something. There's some, I guess, gas on a heat sink. So there's a little flaming heat sink, and he's like, and it was. Anyway. I know the video there's like like post credits or something there's some i guess gas on a heat sink so there's a little flaming heat sink and he's like and it was uh anyway i know the video yeah yeah that was a long time ago yeah so i have destroyed a few xboxes because you know they used to always 360s the early ones i went through like a dozen of them literally like i got so used to shipping it back that's a lot wasn't a big deal not a dozen all right seven it was like literally seven or eight yeah like it's still too many i was always shipping them back and forth i got used to it so

i finally just bought a second xbox but i'd still like be sending that there'd always be one away because at first it seemed like the whole process took like two weeks to send yours off and get a new one back and then i think they just started like when they receive your broken one i think they would just send you a fresh one that they a refurbished one yeah they do I yeah I've heard of that problem of course everyone has but I never had it so like I I literally bought one Xbox you had the elite that's why I did I it was a couple versions deeper and like it wasn't the like release day or anything was Xbox was two years old or something when I got it i got i bought mine like uh halo 2 was still out halo 3 hadn't came out so it was maybe six weeks before halo 3 came out that's when i bought it i left mine on 24 hours a day i just always ran it i

kept it in this tight little compartment like it was always pretty much superheated in there like i did everything you're not supposed to do and it still works i still have the first edition xbox like the not elite the regular first one and it red ringed once on me and i spent about three minutes on the internet and some dude on the forum was like wrap it in towels and turn it on and i was like all right and so i did that and it has not broken in, I guess, seven years now since one towel wrapping attempt. Didn't that just like re-solder one of those cables that got loose or some shit? I think so. It didn't seem like an educated thing.

Going back, I shouldn't have done it, but it worked. I think it was heating it up so much that parts were expanding and making a connection that had been broken or something like that. But yeah, the towel trick worked. It was shocking. I wonder if it was just an inconsistent problem and the towels were really the solution or not. No, it was a very consistent. When it happened, it's game over, bro.

Because I've seen Red Rings. And I think we had another Xbox that broke. What broke about it was the CD stopped coming in and out. So that was the issue. And it uses like, you know, it was the CDs stopped coming in and out. So that was the issue. And it uses the three red rings that indicate that was the code for the common issue we were talking about. But there were multiple codes. The eject thing. Most of the time now when I use it, I have to get a plier or a bobby pin and kind of assist it on its way out.

But it's been alive for long enough. I think it deserves a place in the home. Yeah, I agree. It's like a it on its way out. But it's been alive for long enough. I think it deserves a place in the home. Yeah, I agree. It's like a three-legged dog. Like he's got character. One of those. Since our last podcast, Paris was attacked.

Yes. Yes. Nice segue. Let's go right. Jesus Christ. I was not ready for that. Hey, guys, guess what? And now, Perra. My intention was to lead with it, and I don't know, we were just flowing.

But, dude, so Perra was attacked. I watched it live with Kyle and Chiz. Apparently, my feelings on it are very politically incorrect. I'd like to hear them. And they said I should not say this out loud, but I will anyway. Ooh. At the time, I was saying,

I guess, let me preface it with this. My response to terror attacks in general is you will not terrorize me, right? This is, I am stubbornly resistant to that. And at the time, we thought the death toll was 40. It turned out, I think 129 is a current number. Yeah, 129 killed, 350 wounded, I think. You thought it was 40.

At the time, the press was saying it was 40. We were all watching live. Now, you guys thought it was over 1,000 or something. Like, the numbers were not rolling in. I'll get you some half, too. It's just not quite half. not oh we can do that because i'm right you're wrong i'm right and then wrong then you're wrong now so but the the official death count was four oh and then like it was possible to like add numbers together or something wasn't that's all right so the cafe death toll was 40 they had drugged those bodies out and counted, but there was still the situation of all the people

that were inside the concert hall. And we knew that dozens had already been killed. We didn't know what the final number was going to be. So it was easy to be like, this is going to be 100 people minimum. I hear you, and it turns out you were right. So maybe I'm off target on this. But at the time, I thought the death count was around 40. And my reaction to it was kind of like, you know what? I hate to say no big deal. That's not phrasing right? Terrorism is a tactic, and that tactic is attacking innocent civilians

at places they don't expect to be shot at and such. And the goal, among other things, is to make you scared to do that thing, right? You shoot six guys in a mall, now everyone's scared to go to the mall. They react to it in a really dramatic way. That's really easy to say, though, if you're near Raleigh. When Boko Haram kills 90 people in a small West African village, I'm not like, oh my God, I'm so terrorized. Because that's so fucking far away, that doesn't impact me.

If I found out that 80 people or 40 people were bombed in downtown St. Louis, I'd be like, well, fuck. This is a lot closer to home. They're a short drive from here. Like, so if this happened in Raleigh, I think you might be at least a little terrorized, to be fair. And it wasn't about being terrorized for me. I was just feeling, I was almost crying on the way home just because Geraldo Rivera's

daughter was at that stadium. And at first, the information that he had, all the information he had was that there had been a bombing at the stadium where his daughter was and he couldn't reach her. And he starts crying on the air there, just sobbing how he thought his, you know, and I was just feeling awful. And then they start, on the way they were talking about how they were, you know, people were tweeting or Facebooking and they were saying, please rush in. They're executing us one by one. And they were talking about, you know, the guys were using pump shotguns to herd the crowd back into the building so they

couldn't escape. So I was just feeling horrible for them. Pro tip, if you're ever anywhere near a terrorist thing, call your parents and tweet out, hey everybody, I'm fine. Be nice. There wasn't any signal because of

a terror attack. They either turn off the the uh not pro tip but it would be nice if you could pop on social media and stuff and say that um was it oh so for me like i i guess i was kind of in that call downplaying the attack because that's how i want to react to it. I want to be like, hey, man, I get it. It's 40 people and that's tragic. And the people that know them are going to be profoundly impacted until forever. But, you know, from my standpoint, you know, I swear. So the odds of being hit in a terrorist attack are smaller than the odds of being struck by lightning.

Right. That's true in America anyway. smaller than the odds of being struck by lightning right that's true in america anyway um i don't fear terrorism as much as i fear the legislative consequences of terrorism i am more concerned about what our politicians will do in response to this people that want cameras on every street corner and you know people who want to fucking monitor my bathroom those people are going to be heard now that to me is a bigger concern than a raleigh strike you know they're not mutually exclusive though like because because so like your first point that you you said about about like yeah there's some stuff going on all over the place and like yeah like to put it in perspective that wasn't i mean that was a large

terrorist attack but if you're talking about like globally you're right like there's a bombing in nigeria and a bombing in you know syria like like these things happen to the same scale if not larger everywhere else well they took that russian airliner down just the week prior and that's 282 people so like it happens elsewhere but because it is in a nation that not only has such strong cultural and historical ties with us, didn't mean that I couldn't, you know, just be, I was pretty devastated by it, to be honest. Like, I love Paris, my favorite city I've ever been to, just so gorgeous. So it was just really shitty.

But like I said, it doesn't have to be mutual exclusive, because now I see all the people, like the debates the day after, they brought up, like, you know, more tighter security and less encryption and all this stuff, and you're just like, fuck. They coordinated that attack with non-encrypted SMS, by the way. So any politician who says, oh, we need to get rid of this whole encryption thing,

it's holding us up from getting terrorists, like, don't let them use this Paris thing as any kind of an example for that. So they organized it with just regular text messages? Texting, yeah, yeah. Yep. There was a rumor about PS4 too. I don't know if it's true or not. Never followed through with that, but that they also communicated

via PS4. With those shitty mics? Right? Right? You really need to step up your game. Exactly. At least Skype, guys. Come on.

Skype's owned by Big brother ps4 sony no big brother there oh that makes sense that makes sense um but yeah my reaction to it was kind of downplaying in large part because i don't want it to be a big deal you know and when it turned out to be 100 i've heard 1291. I think 129 is the right number today. I haven't seen any. So there were like 300 injuries and 129 deaths. And I haven't seen anyone shift from the injury to the death column, which is nice. Yeah. But anyway, 129 people died.

And I was like, all right, that's bigger than 40. It's a pretty significant attack. I mean, in Russia, when they took over that school, there i think 1100 deaths like so no they took 1100 hostages and like 300 died those are rough numbers let me check that you're probably right i mean yeah it's kind of crazy i i think that it's just i mean as bad as it sounds i am absolutely with you on a smaller scale where it's like if there's a school shooting, you know, I think it was in Oregon and like three people died. But it was right after, you know, insert other school shooting. And it was just like this really sucks. But it also is not that surprising anymore.

I mean, I think that since to this scale there's not been something for like you know like 90 years or something something like that in paris oh yeah with that qualifier yeah yeah yeah yeah so the norway thing was 70 people and i consider that in the same stratosphere yeah it's also like how how connected it was because you were right there were people who were in the hall and they were Facebooking and tweeting about it or like people would come back like verified on Reddit as being there

would like post their story of like and it's like a big block of just like miserable and you can really sympathize with them because you're like this is like modern day it's not like you're not disconnected anymore it's like you're you're along for the ride i i didn't see the post themselves so this is like i heard from people i know and people on the internet but i'm told there are people using social media to beg the police to come into the music hall like they're on facebook yeah get

in here get in here yeah and um that are you mad that the police didn't check their Facebook status? And rush in? They didn't even like it. Well, my frustration was, so it turned out the two people in the stadium got 89 kills. And I felt like the police response was really, really slow. Kyle didn't. Kyle said, no, look, you got to take your time. You can't just rush in there.

There'll be big trouble. I mean, with the benefit of hindsight anyway, two people, 89 kills is terrible. Like that is, by comparison, in the US and Columbine, there were two shooters. And I was reading about this recently. Within like two minutes somebody called 9-11 two minutes of the first shot 9-1-1 and then within three minutes the

first policeman was engaged in shooting back at those guys so five minutes from the first shot to the start of the firefight was five minutes five minutes from the first bullet to the return fire in Paris. It seemed like two hours or something crazy like that. And they got 89 kills because whatever security forces were there, let an 89 kills. A lot of it was via shotgun, right? Like,

and they like summarily executed them, right? Like, that's what I saw is like, it wasn't, I'm sure the beginning of it was like just spraying it down the whole area, but they they, like, summarily executed them, right? Like, that's what I saw is, like, it wasn't... I'm sure the beginning of it was, like, just spraying it down the whole area, but they, like... Yeah, I saw the picture, but apparently, like,

towards the end, they were just executing people one by one, right? Like, just walking up, shoot one person, shoot one person. I heard the report that they were, you know, shooting, reloading, shooting, reloading, like, reloaded three times or something like that. If it's a shotgun, 89... It wasn't...'t it was automatic it was a shotgun yeah it was it was a pump shotgun oh i mean the police were shooting where they have like the riot shield and you can see all the

the ak shell i mean i okay i don't think what i'm told so different is in the i i shocks i'm so adamant about this i'm not 100 sure but i i thought in the... Shucks, I'm so adamant about this, and I'm not 100% sure, but I thought in the music hall, I don't know what to call it itself, one guy had an AK and one guy had a shotgun. I mean, 112-gauge rounds would be unwieldy to even carry. Yeah, it's empty like a whole box like this. You're right, you're right.

That's a strong point. Yeah, that would be a backpack. They also had grenades, too. Did they use grenades? I didn't even know i think they use grenades at the sports stadium i heard suicide bombs were suicide bombers uh it's tough to get all the facts straight either way i think well the way they got discovered is because the security guard saw that the guy's got a fucking suicide bomb was like you can't enter um they're not

mutually exclusive though They're not mutually exclusive though. Non très pas. Wow. You know French? I used to be fluent. Oui. What do you mean they're not mutually exclusive?

I mean, just because you have a suicide vest doesn't mean that you couldn't have thrown grenades. Well, there was only three explosions. Did anyone get into the sports stadium? That's a case of security success. The guy spotted it. They detonated themselves

without getting many other people. I think it was just the one. Just the one guy that caught him. That would have potentially been more devastating than anything to get into a huge soccer stadium like that. The trampling. Nationally televised.

Yeah, the trampling would have killed more people than the bomb. The president of France was in the stadium, so I'm sure security outside was pretty beefed up, you would imagine. Yeah. But the... So that security guy did fantastic. The guys at the cafe, where they were, like, the restaurant thing, I don't know. I mean, that one's on video of the police.

Like, they shot back. The police ran away. Someone in my family universe who has military experience felt like that was a really incorrect response. But they came back a few seconds later. I don't really know what you know the ones that ran i was reading that the ones that ran did not have guns and the one guy that stayed was the guy who had a gun but i thought all french policemen had carried weapons but no because they specified armed policemen like like several times they're like waiting on response of armed policemen i'm like you wouldn't make that generalization or you wouldn't make that

statement there'd be some guy in the parking lot that could that could at least wing one of those guys you know yeah i give the guys a lot of leeway if they're if they came to a gunfight with billy clubs like that's that's it's a tough one um do we know do you know how long the time period was actually between when they were because i'm like picturing them like the one by one execution i heard like i'm picturing them taking their time doing it i'm sure they were kind of hurrying to kill as many as possible but like how long did it take the police to respond for real it was it was like two hours hour and a half but i heard it's unacceptable well you say that but there's also like when when they were doing the live coverage i guess it was uh sky news had some pundits you know like

military you know pundits come on at least i think it was sky News had some pundits, you know, like military pundits come on. At least I think it was Sky. And they were talking about how in this situation it's hard to know what to do because if you rush in, you could cause them to just, they have all these people in a confined space, they could do the entry level spray and pray, again,

you could lose 45 people. But if they're just holding them hostage, and you don't know if they're actually being killed one by one or if they're actually being used as leverage, you could potentially save all those lives. The thing is, I knew. If this was like a bank robbery, I think that would be the right approach

because they're trying to get something and then get out of there. These people aren't trying to gain anything from their killing. What was their threat? They're like, oh, if we run in too quick, maybe they'll send a message to somebody else via you know i chat and then they'll blow up a cafe three miles from here it's like no if they have the capacity to do that they're gonna do it anyway nothing's gonna stop them they're trying to make this as i think it was kyle chip jackie and i on a skype call all just sort of watching it unfold.

I just caught that. Sorry about that. It's bad taste to make jokes right now. No, as long as you're making fun of Chiz, no one will mind. Okay, yeah, that's true. Raise my style, be elevated. So anyway,

Jaggi and I were like, dude, it's time to go in, it's time to go in. And Kyle was like no you need a plan you need a strategy etc i i had the benefit of hindsight i still think i'm right you know there were two people in there shooting people that it just to kill 89 people i feel like takes some time you know the reloading is a pain in the ass i don't think we know the facts like like like i don't know much about how like what the terror response plan is for that sort of thing or what the the the chain of command for the local police this the the state French police the like whatever like the multiple police forces that are involved in the different units of those likes but but I imagine someone went over radio and said pull back to a hundred

meters until a squad gets there and like a squad got there and had to make a determination of what's going on like how many this is serious fuck up like regardless of what the chain of command is or what somebody said going by the results a lot of people die and murt i'm sitting here in raleigh getting like feedback from twitter and whatever like i know they're killing motherfuckers a lot you know i know there's gunshots going on in there these people a hundred yards outside the building either let it happen or were less informed than me and that's horseshit you know it's it's not okay 89 people died in there two people killed 89

i think it's really really hard to answer this in hindsight because like i'd i'd be able to i'd be down with the idea to go and just like bust in and just see what you can do but then again you don't know how that would have turned out either if they did have grenades which i'm pretty sure they did how how bad you know you like there's no way to gauge i don't think there's a way to say definitively that the way the method they took where they supposedly scouted out did recon understood where everything was and then like took out these two dudes with minimal casualties during that that actual i'm not saying minimal casualties over armament like during the actual taking of the theater i don't think there were any casualties it's a tough situation right it you know there could be a scenario where things go even worse maybe i don't know i mean 89 people died one of them died by

police that is a terrorist one of the terrorists died by police gunshot the other one got his suicide vest to work you know that did he kill anyone with the vest or was that just like a last ditch attempt to take somebody with him or that was i want to be a martyr and then i saw my guess would be that people stayed away from him well they they got all eight of them in the end right because they had the uh the thing that happened the day before yesterday or whatever with um the female who blew herself up and uh the dog that got shot and all that stuff i guess that was the ringleader to say that i think they found plans inside their apartment of um for another attack on a location that i didn't recognize apparently that was the ringleader. I think they found plans inside their apartment for another attack on a location that I didn't recognize. Apparently he was the ringleader of a couple of things.

I can't name them all, but there were like six of the last eight things or something he had planned. So this guy was pretty effective. But yeah, I want to restate my position one last time. Two guys killed 89, and they let it go for an hour and a half two hours and it feels indefensible to me like you know next time they've got to go in there and work that quicker and and they're out there listening to the gunshots and everyone on facebook knows you know

they're they're saying you know fucking help me right now they're killing us they're killing the hostages everyone in the world knew and they still were coordinating their action plan you know like you have a job that requires you to be brave every once in a blue moon do it so they kept how many people hostage total from the beginning in there like 92 92 there's no way to know really is there because you know the band's on stage and then i saw a video from someone's filming the band doing their thing, and then all of a sudden you hear automatic gunfire. You hear the AKs going off, and then the video cuts off.

So it seems like they just started spraying the crowd. I mean, like, from the point of when the police are outside, the situation has been contained to a certain number of people with the two terrorists. Do we know what, like, the starting number of people was? I think it was 300. So out of 300 of 300 like a third of them died almost don't quote me on that i'm pretty sure i saw three i heard it was more like 500 or so that i had four in my head i can believe that so that's still a bad ratio you're right yeah like and they probably only

stopped killing when they ran out of ammunition right or? Or did they? They killed them all. They killed all the people that they had. They tried to contain as many as they could, and I think some got out. That's the way it seems. So they contained a number of them inside the stadium and then continued to kill, or auditorium, whatever it is. I hate to call anything a bright side, but around the time Paris was attacked,

Russia, I guess, it was rumored or you know everyone suspected isis and terrorist attack but they confirm that's what i'm looking for they confirm that that plane that went down and how many people died on that was it 220 220 280 over 200 yeah okay so between two and three hundred people died on that russian plane and it's been confirmed that it's isis like they could isis took credit you see the bomb the The soda can? Yeah, that was cool. I didn't see it. It was a soda can. Yeah, so they got, like,

a soda can full of high explosives plus a detonator plus what appeared to be the initiator, which you'd send the signal to the detonator with. That's it? That's how they snuck it on.

Yeah, well, I mean, you know, 12 ounces of high explosive next to the plane fuselage at altitude. You decompressurize the cabin then it breaks up in the air so um uh the russians are very upset with isis and uh especially putin you know that advice mallard dude that quote was so high oh he didn't really say that he didn't say that no i thought it too yeah i'll ruin it i was ready for my you're familiar with the advice

mallard meme there's also a bad advice mallard meme and uh it's like hey isis go fuck with the russians especially now in winter while they're weak like that god wouldn't that be so interesting and quite the twist if it if the the next like little bit of peace was brought over just fucking up isis though you know instead of like the world war three that everybody was like fuck it's gonna happen like that's what ended up happening instead and everybody's like well thank you isis then bush takes credit for like suddenly we're all same team and bush is bush initiating the rise of isis is the is the really the start of world peace China was saying that they're gonna get in on I guess I executed a Chinese national

They got one and that's enough for the Chinese. They said they vowed some reaction. Let someone else pay for it. I feel like America should be like, all right, Russia's pissed. France is pissed. China's pissed. Let's save our money. Let someone else drop the bombs. France is bombing the heck out of people.

Are they? I didn't think so. I think they dropped 20 of them. They dropped 20 bombs. But, I mean, that isn't out of the ordinary. They dropped 20 bombs. But I mean, that isn't out of the ordinary. They've been bombing for some time. That's why the terrorist attack happened.

Though what I read and what the hell do I know? But this is what I was reading was that sort of the U.S. backed off, fed France the intelligence that like all the allies had and let them do the bombing for a while. You know, they wanted to be the bombers, so they handled it. And that, to me, seems like, well, I hope, that sounds great. Aren't our bombs like a hundred grand a pop, or a million if they're smart? More than that, yeah. They're not all smart bombs, but maybe they are more, I don't know. How much is a JDAM?

Really expensive. I don't think the Allies are really bombing all the targets anyway. Russia had bombed, what, 350 targets over the last two days or something like that? I was looking at a graph that was showing where the U.S. is striking compared to where Russia is striking, and this was like, I think maybe some conspiratard doing it, but it was interesting enough to read where it was like like oh russia they're they're bombing isis a lot more because they're trying to keep asad in power and uh the u.s is you know maybe not bombing isis as hard because they want them to weaken asad a bit more and that's the case it stands there is that

actually the case yeah we've been taking it easy on the allies aren't bombing isis as much as they can you don't you don't think we can find a fucking oil refinery or some trucks? Like, we've let them do what they've been doing for a long time. All those atrocities and stuff, we're standing by and letting it happen. And where do you think they're selling all that oil to? They talk about the millions they're making every week. You don't think we can track where millions of barrels of oil are going and where millions of dollars are going back and forth?

We can't figure out who's buying it? Yeah, it seems like an easy thing to stop. Like an oil refinery is going to take tons of trucks and tons, of course, and lots of oil tankers, right? That's how you sell and move oil. How do you slip an oil tanker under our surveillance nose? You probably couldn't. So is this even more of a protracted proxy battle between the U.S. and Russia again,

where it's like Russia really wants Assad to stay in power, we really don't want him to, we want ISIS to weaken him as much as possible? Absolutely, but it's so convoluted and complicated with the different factions that, just the different factions that are native to that region, there's like three or four, and they each have different feelings about each other it's like fallout almost it's so convoluted and complicated where everybody hates everybody roxy wars between the iranians and the saudis and and uh the the mercenaries who are over there and the u.s uh backed groups and the russian backed groups it's it's a real shit show over there. But no, the allies, if you want to call us that, the coalition, whatever, the United States-led forces have

not been bombing ISIS the way they could. Oil comes from refineries. There can't be that many refineries. A refinery is a massive infrastructure kind of place. You can find it and destroy it. I don't think they have engineers and work crews rebuilding a refinery. How many refineries are there in the US? Every time we have one of those big gas gas, they're like, they go, well, we only have seven refineries in the United States, and we haven't manufactured one since 1978 or whatever. Are there really only seven?

I know that there's three or two that service only California with the special California blend, and one of them went down, and our gas went up to 450 a gallon and I was just like, what the heck? It's got a little bit of granola in it. It's got some whole foods in there.

The kale blend. Gluten-free fuel. 140. Well, we're a little fucking off on the set. We're off by a factor of 2,000%. In fairness to you, three of them are idle right now. Alright, maybe there's only seven you, three of them are idle right now. Alright, California.

Six of one, half a dozen of another. In any case, I doubt they got that many, right? Is ISIS controlling hundreds and hundreds of refineries? America was the lead refinery place in that it's not refined when it gets here, but I'm really out of my element. You could be right.

I don't know. but what I'm getting at is if we wanted to damage isis we could the targets are there to be hit like if you're trying to hit got people like people can be anywhere it's hard to find people but if you're hitting material if you're hitting their trucks like like we saw they just have done they bomb like

all those toyotas yeah hoist Toyota in fucking Tacoma drivers yeah to my house like and get a good picture of my house from space i can damn well find an oil refinery on google maps probably like yeah i mean i'm just saying like it's not like it's even it's not even like far-fetched technology and then like i said just track it would take a bit of scrolling and maybe an afternoon but i could do that, right? But the other thing is, like I said, they really shouldn't even have to destroy the refineries.

They should be able to say, wait, why is Estonia buying all this ISIS oil? Let's do something about Estonia. I'm just using them for an example because it's probably someone we're a lot friendlier with than Estonia. It's probably fucking Australia or Germany. Hey, you first dozen people, quit it.

But yeah, we should find out who's buying the oil and we should talk to them. Like why are you buying this terror oil? I feel like we know and we're just like cool with it for some reason. Maybe we don't want to destabilize some sort of global market. Maybe China's buying it and we're like well you know like I don't know. Picture it like you see some dude who's

five foot nothing and you're like, dude, what the fuck's wrong with me? Oh, it wasn't me, it was him. Oh. You're cool, bro. You and I are good. So why is gas so cheap right now? Does that have anything to do with it? I was headed that way kind of. Like, is now a good time

to invest in some sort of oil thing? Should you be buying Exxon or some funds? The reason the gas is so cheap is because Saudi Arabia is undercutting everybody, so they drive everyone out of business so they can just drive up the prices again, right? I'm pretty sure they have sustainability. They can do this for a while. They've been doing that for a while. They did that six months ago, didn't they?

Yeah. But they legitimately... And it also hurts ISIS because nobody will buy isis oil at the price because saudi arabia is selling it for so low so like that's the kind of the whole circle and then us is like yay lower gas prices bumps the economy up in our town so like i appreciate it i've heard that too but now i'm hearing like at this rate saudi arabia will be bankrupt in five years that it's lower than they'd like it to be and that it seems like it's out of control in some way i don't know everybody does that mean that they literally have like a surplus running so that they can just bleed for

five years and be fine that's what it sounds like to me i don't think the russians can do that and i think that's who they're targeting. Russians and Americans. Yeah. Yeah. Americans, apparently, God, I'm out of my depth here. But I read about this. We need oil to be around $60 a barrel because our oil is expensive to get. It comes from oil shale, which is like a rock that you can somehow get oil out of. And just digging up the shale and processing

it and turning it into oil is a more expensive process than the lucky saudi arabians who just poke a hole in the ground and stuff starts shooting out like the beverly hillbillies so um they're able to drive american companies out of business because they can't make money and fracking as well because the less that we need to rely on alternative fuel sources, because oil is low, fracking then takes a hit, and all the other natural resources do. A lot of the ways that Americans can get energy are expensive compared to the guys who can just poke a hole in the ground,

which is a cheap way of getting energy. And then the Russians have a problem. Apparently, they can't even slow down their production. If they turn a well off, their tech is not as good. So if they turn a well off, that's just done. They have to start from scratch or something. So they just keep producing oil at a loss, and it's terrible for them. I'm going to just store it.

I'm sure that's what they're doing. Where are they keeping it? Yeah. I need it for a friend. Tucker, get on Google Maps. I got that oil. But yeah, here we are in PKA trying to solve global issues we're gonna get there

let's keep this going by the end of the show we'll have solved some problems so let's talk about Call of Duty instead yeah alright I like the energy I felt good all right i am not i've only played zombies yeah we can talk about zombies i've i've uh i'm not performing like i'd like to be i

there was a time last night and some of the that's called adderall that's funny that's not where i thought you were going so i thought i was doing badly because of a knowledge thing and that's a big part of it if you guys have played zombies you know like i could play zombies with someone who's better than me take it like to back when i played more often and have a better score than them if i had the better spot right you know if you're being a little bit selfish and you get kills early on and you know get the good weapons and you take the best train spots or kiting spots then you know a bad player can outperform a good one if he has the better spot and i had the i didn't even have a kiting spot if i had one at all if you guys know the black ops 3-1 it's by the cars near like the movie theater yeah really shitty kiting spot like maybe other people are better at it but if i walk backwards

and shoot zombies there i seem to find a corner all the time and it's just a lot of dead ends in that area tons they're not deep dead ends you know but sometimes enough to fuck you yeah sometimes i can't get forward the six feet i need to get out of there and um like last night i had a problem in here is it so when we play as a group of four we do all like the unlock things in the first two or three rounds i think it was two last night which is pretty early and and you know that like the power's on juggernauts up and all this you know the fucking slugs are in place and hell is open and all that fun stuff in like two rounds i didn't really realize we were playing yet like you know how you don't get a good gun right away and stuff like that i'm in round seven with the starting pistol like you know what i'm really under equipped here and everyone else has lasers and stuff so i'm playing all night

long without the ability to actually kill zombies i'm using wall guns and shit like that and um i don't know if the wall guns get more deadly when you rank up more can someone answer that and pack a punch them no but no but just off the wall off the wall they're the same damage unless you pack a punch them okay they're better in some ways like you get sights and stuff like you grab a gun off wall, and it seems to be all camouflaged and amazing looking. He just customizes it before the game because he's unlocked, say, a red dot or whatever. Yeah, I haven't done anything like that. I just didn't know if he customized it in a way that made it more deadly or if it just looks better.

Maybe if it had, like, high, you know, upper. You can do rapid fire. I guess that makes it deadlier, but that's, like, the last unlock. But nothing serious. Nothing serious, yeah. Well, anyway, I found myself really undergunned, and it was my fault. I should have recognized that, like, oh, now it's zombies, zombies. Like, it's not puzzle solving anymore.

We're playing the game. Woody, you should have hit pack-a-punch already by now. You should have had this by now, et cetera. I was watching people play because i'm dead of course and uh i'm like man this game is so much easier when you can kill the zombies in front of you like i would dodge every zombie in front of me and just shoot behind me for points and my guns were never really lethal enough to kill things in front of me but other guys had ray guns and such and i was really envious but um that doesn't explain all of it. You know? Like, I also wasn't playing as well.

It's, um... It's the movement stuff. It's the... Zombies are like a fluid that you... You gotta be slippery. It's a very predictable fluid. And after you play enough, you see three zombies running at you,

and you see the opening. You're like, alright, I'm gonna shift to the left, pause for half a second, back up, back up, now sprint around to the right. See, that's the thing. I think you're dramatically underestimating how useful it is to be able to kill zombies in front of you. Because I watched you play for hours. I watched Taylor play and I watched Chiz play. And when there were zombies in front of you, you either ray gunned them or you had a shotgun that was a one

or two shot kill, right? I had nothing like that. If there were zombies in front of me, the notion that they might die, you know, like you head into a pack of three zombies or something, you need to dodge. There's no concept of shooting them in front of you. And it is a huge advantage to be able to kill the zombies in front of you. And it's my own damn fault.

I didn't upgrade my guns early enough and work that out. What'd you think about the map? I, the map, So here's the deal. I have a special kind of retarded for learning my way around in real life. You could take me 10 miles. Do you know where I go to the grocery store right now?

If you had to walk to it. So the grocery store is Target, which is next to Home Depot, and that I have on lockdown. How about the post office? You know where the post office is? No, no. I've been to the post office twice. You had to go like...

Nope. Can't help you there. Fire department? Nope. Closest restaurant? Do you know where to get to the closest hospital? Nope. Okay.

Yeah, yeah. So, all right. Thank you. That demonstrate... I don't know where anything fucking is, right? There are places I've been to a couple of times, and I still need my GPA. I am just sort of a map tardy. Like, I'm not dumb in every aspect of life,

but when it comes to, like, directions and stuff, I'm awful. And there are other maps. Help me out here. You know Black Ops 2, the map? It has a big guy that kind of shocks. There's a pool of water. It's frozen in there. Oh, the one with...

Sarah Michelle Gellar. George Romero. Yeah, yeah. George Romero. Call of the Dead. Call of the Dead. Something about that was really easy for me to learn, right? Like, there weren't tons of nooks and crannies.

There was, like, the big lake area, the big tower area, that room with the water in the bottom and stuff. They were all different this map the design of it is such that i get real like i'm just fucking all there are it's like an asterisk basically there's there's you know there's there's districts there's the footlight district the canal district and and and i had no idea it was like an asterisk i should probably look online for an overhead map and maybe that would help me. It might be the amount of stuff in that map because the one that you mentioned, it's literally

out, like there's not stuff. It's just lanes, right? But this one they have like cars. It's not like as clear cut. It's all identical. It's like they have five, you know, models that they used in game. Like, alright, we've got bricks, we've got fucking burning barrels and some broken wood.

Everywhere! That's all we need! You know, buildings and buildings and buildings of bricks and wood and shit on the ground, and the fucking thing you fumigate, and, like, people, I'll be down. Where are you? By the cars, and we're all just like, holy shit! Wait! Hang on! So, I was talking to uh to some some woody craft staff and they're like oh there's a really good spot to kite people by the boxing ring oh that's chiz's spot oh well you know hell's not bad that's taylor's spot oh hell's bad come on hell you want hell hell is

yours no no no hell is tough i had hell briefly and, and I think it's even rougher if you can't kill the zombies in front of you because there's a way to get yourself out. Like, if you're coming, it's the wall run. You're doing the wall run. A zombie's coming the other way. If you can kill him in a quick thing, like with a ray gun, then you might survive that. If your guns aren't lethal, then the wall run is so rough. They're just going to knock you down. Yeah wall run is so rough yeah because then even if you

get hurt you can still keep it just sprint jump off the wall while you're wall running and hope that you make it over them i was playing we were playing last night and i thought i was made in the shade like there was three of those big asshole tentacle monsters right behind me and i was about to do the wall run and i made a ray gun and so there was a guy a zombie on the other side who was prepping for his jump and I'm like not today fucker and I shoot him in the legs and he falls down to a crawler and so I'm like alright clearly he has no legs and so I jump

up onto the wall and start running and he just ahhh Paralympic style like a jump just a frozen rope line just boom just knocks me right off and kills me and I was so fucking pissed. So weird things happen on the wall run, which make it bad. It's even worse if your gun's not lethal, but it's bad for everyone.

I feel like you can't wall run all night without a fluke happening. And that's why. You'll get better as we play more. Like, I can already, like, Kyle's picking it up with the whole, like, fluid movement thing, like, predicting where the zombies are coming from. Like, he's's running in a difficult area and he's doing fine with it like he's figuring out you could zombies are easy to predict you know like sometimes you the best thing to do if there's a big group in front of you is just like take a step to the left and wait two seconds for them to fall into line and then you do the the thing is i absolutely know that but try that

all night like on the train platform or something, and you'll be like, this is just a shitty spot to exist. If someone's watching this, so Kyle takes the middle, and there are a couple bridges, and that's where he kites. I take Canal District. Okay. Taylor takes Hell, and Chiz takes Boxing Ring.

Tell me where the fourth best spot is, because I could really use that advice. I think it's Cars, but but chiz who enjoys reviving couldn't be any further from me and i think starting area might be better than than cars because cars is just by the uh burlesque place we're talking about where all the cars the starting area where like you go into the middle like where the gumbar machine is is like there's like the down little correct yeah yeah like the crane door opens to hell yeah okay i know what you're talking about that area might even be better than the car area because that car area just sucks like they made

something like that big beast that shows up like when you get to around 30 plus and there's like four of them that show up every time they're so thick and the lanes are so narrow that you can't run by it you have to run and then do a little slide and hope that it doesn't fuck you up on there's a there's a cut off in the middle too but that that fucks up my kite you know whenever i go and there's a gun in the middle which i kind of liked you know because you can just get more ammo there but it's a wall gun and it doesn't seem to kill anything we just needed to get you that wall gun upgraded and then rack up the points there and the double upgrade helps so much if you can get turned another thing

now i think about it i've been trying to diagnose what happened here and i think there was like two or three times where the last zombie got killed and we didn't have that time to go like spin points and those were the times where i felt like you had the money to get where you needed to be but you just you know you had to face another round and you didn't make it through that round i think that's what happened i think you're right yeah and uh and you know a lot of it's on me i feel like i'm making excuses i just i made some bad decisions i didn't buy i didn't upgrade soon enough enough. And then I don't think that... I think the fourth best kite spot is actually pretty tough to exist in. And God, if your gun sucks,

like it's really hard to be in round like 18 or something with a bad gun. I liked how after like round, I don't know, like 15 or 16, when you had already died and been consigned to your fate, you no longer were even like, all right, I need to get going. I need to get this upgraded. i need to get going i need to get this upgraded i need to get this perk and then i'm gonna i'm gonna get back in this it was like all right so who wants to be spectated like who's gonna watch this that was a little higher

in the rounds let's see what you're doing yeah be good in fairness the round numbers you mentioned i actually got like i had enough points i i'd like buy a wall gun get myself to like 5 000 points and get down all right so i come back with like foot i get jug i got a um uh i got a you know a mystery box gun like thing like i got back in the game a couple of times but it just i i never seemed to have it you know i didn't have a ray gun like other people did so much confidence apparently insta kill everybody's like oh fuck yeah and what he's like oh I got this now no no no no no no no I die loudly I'm warming up to the map, and I definitely am.

The new zombies in general, because we played to rise a good bit as well. I think that now that I know that when you double pack a punch a gun, it gets a special ability. That is so cool now. It really puts more life into zombies. That and the gumballs.

Can you explain the second ability? Because I haven't gotten to that point yet. So there's... Which, as far as I can tell, it's random. So you pay the second ability? Because I haven't gotten to that point yet. So there's... As far as I can tell, it's random. So you pay 5,000 to pack a punch. You pay 2,500, you can repack a punch, but it doesn't fill up your ammo again.

So you'll get either Deadwire, which a random shot will electrocute you. You get the one that Kyle got, like Wonderwall or Thunderwall, and it'll just blow up into the air. A mini air cannon. A mini air cannon a mini air cannon blast furnace which every so often on one that zombie will ignite and all the other zombies

behind it will explode and then you'll get fireworks which is the best one i think or the coolest looking where a random bullet it'll just spawn like a fourth of july firework and a gun is at the top of the peak of the firework and and it just mows everyone down. What the fuck? The turn one. If you have turned, and you can just shoot a zombie once, and if you don't have any other turned zombies, sometimes you can get multiple ones, but if you don't have it,

you can get the two, I guess. If you don't have any turned zombies, that zombie you shoot will immediately say turned above it, and that zombie will start fucking up all the other zombies around it. And he is a serious tag team party. He's an insta-killer.

He's just like, What they do is all the other zombies crack into him, and he's an idiot, and he recognizes it. So all the other zombies are like, alright, this dude is a fucking, a narc,

and he's not a narc anymore, and so they start beating on him, but meanwhile, he's fucking it like a champion, just, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead,

you're dead. He insta-kills everyone. So if you're kiting, and you turn dead you're dead he insta kills everyone so if you're kiting and you turn a guy in a crowd all of a sudden the guy like someone in the middle of that crap because they all go for him he'll get like six kills and then he dies and all it takes is one bullet new turned and that's amazing and you always have i think it's if i understand it right i've been spectating quite a bit so if you you... You always have two turned. So like, if your turn guy dies, just very next bullet it's not like you have to fire mag after mag to...

You do. It takes maybe... Sometimes it takes 8-10 shots to get one. But it's not instant. Because I tell you, I spectate other people. Like, Chiz had the Haymaker, that shotgun, upgraded with turned on it. And so basically, that comes with like 150 shots for max with the magazine. He could turn around, shoot one shotgun shell,

and that would do enough damage to turn someone. Then he could just run around, kite, let the zombie do damage, turn around again, shoot once, another turned. You don't get any points for it, and you don't get any kills for it. So you kind of have to already be set in your ways before you let the zombie do everything, but it's a real handy get-out-of-jail-free card. I liked it. I had it on that

light machine gun. When you upgrade the dingo, it becomes the dire wolf, and that's my favorite weapon so far. You get stamina up and sleight of hand, and it pulls up fast, and you can still move around and just... It's all glowing and red. I like the upgraded guns. That's my favorite part now. And I've got a... Sorry, go ahead. I like the upgraded guns. That's my favorite part now. You cannot.

Sorry, go ahead. I was just going to say, I've got a spot under eyes. I like to get up on that catwalk, and I just hide up there, and I can last until, you know, around 20 real easy. You know, I can defend myself if I've got a gun up there, and I don't get enough zombies to hurt my feelings. I remember the first night I played, Kyle was like, this is totally unfair because we got, like, all the stuff unlocked and stuff. It wasn't even that fast. It Kyle was like, this is totally unfair. Because we got all the stuff unlocked and stuff. It wasn't even that fast.

It was like round four or something. And he's like, we were like Lewis and Clark. We were the explorers that paved all this way. Woody comes along, because I was waiting for a headset. Woody comes along, and it's all paved. He just drives. First time he ever plays. Everything's unlocked.

I'm being the Chalupa monster, whatever the hell he's called. The Chalupa. Yeah, yeah. The Chalulu. It's a Chalulu. I think you're fucking with me. Well, that's the third time I've told you. It worked the first two times, so you got me now.

That was funny. You were like, there's two Chalulus down here. I think that's a number four. You really couldn't get it. There's a Cthulhu. What do you be like, oh, there's a Cholula. Oh, there's a Chalupa. That's a sandwich or a taco.

What is it really called, Taylor? Cthulhu. Cthulhu. Cthulhu. Cthulhu. Yeah. Like, you know, H.P. Lovecraft, that author from like the 30s who wrote all about Cthulhu. Cthulhu. Yeah. Yeah. That's like, you know, HP Lovecraft, that author from like the thirties who wrote all about Cthulhu and that huge

mystical world. That's what this whole zombie map is based on, which is kind of neat. My girlfriend's a huge fan of that whole, I guess, world universe. But yeah, we've been me,

Kyle and Melissa and Chiz have been playing a ton recently and we're getting much better at all of it. Like Chiz. I've been playing a shitload and we're getting much better at all of it. I've been playing a shitload of video games in general. This last two weeks, I have really... Alright, so I got 50 hours into Fallout 4 and I've got... I must have put another 15 or 20 at least into Zombies with you guys

because there's been several 5 or 6 hour nights. I'm loving Fallout 4 still. I know people... It has bugs and, you know, you drop some frames on console and the dialogue could be better, but I just love exploring and building and destroying. Before it didn't have dialogue, so.

It had a lot of dialogue. Spoken dialogue. Yes. Yep. My mistake then. Yes. Yep. My mistake then. Okay. I thought... The interface is just not as nice as it was before.

It's horrible. And the options are... It's like, yes, yes... Maybe. Probably. Or no, but actually it's yes. You don't have a lot of... It seemed like you used to be able to go into different directions.

And then I like that in Fallout New Vegas, your skills were integrated into that. If you had 30 barter, you could get him to agree to this. Or if you had 20 science or 9 intelligence, you're able to do those certain dialogue options. That's still in there. So rarely. I think when I was doing the USS Constitution mission, there were a couple of options where it's like if your intelligence is high enough, you can just you don't need parts, you can just kind of hotwire this thing, but that option

has been so rare in the game, it's maybe happened like two or three times, and I made a nine intelligence character hoping that that was going to be a big deal, but I rarely run into like, your charisma definitely plays a big part in getting stuff done but it's not like my my uh you know my strength has helped me tell someone that about like a

fighting technique or something or like threaten them in some way like it like it should be i don't know played at all like i've watched melissa play during our let's play like so i haven't even touched it but i've watched her like i'm telling her what to do, trying to, because I don't know enough about fucking Fallout to know. But I get really aggravated. I don't know what our specs are on our character, but we cannot convince anyone to do shit at all. This robot was asking us if we were the replacement supervisor

for some area. And we kept going up there, and I'm like, try and fool him. Tell him that you lost your id and the lady's like lost my id can't find it and the guy's like does not compute and then just murders you right there so after like three times of trying that eventually like i we had to dress up as like in a dress and a weird bowler hat and sunglasses and then the guy's like well this person can't be lying and then they just

believed us but that i don't like that part of the game i didn't like having to play for ever just to get that stupid robot to have enough charisma you didn't have enough charisma to get through the speak check we're all luck we're all luck and that mysterious stranger shows up all the time to like i've heard that that and idiot saant are both really nice luck perks. I've got one luck. It's pretty high on everything else, but one luck. No, I don't get lucky with anything really. A lot of bad shit happens to me. I feel like when you're one luck, it's not just that you don't get... Like two luck, oh I'm getting more positive things happening. And three, even more positive things. I feel like at one, it's like, we're gonna shit on you for not picking this perk at all.

Like you don't think you need any luck? We'll show you cause shit'll fall on me. Like I just randomly get all kinds of issues. I run into some of the most god awful monsters. I'm playing them very hard and it just seems like the Mire Alert King always wants to fuck me in the ass and after I kill the Mire Alert King there, there's a second Mirelurt King. And I just killed the king. How is there a second king? There's two kings? His son stepped up immediately.

Yeah. And they do that too. You'll get a legendary enemy down to zero. And he'll be like, boom, boom, boom, you haven't even seen my final form. He'll get bigger, faster, stronger, higher damage threshold and all that and start whooping you again what's a death claw uh it's like this it's the first monster that you run into like the big ass fucking evolve

looking ass thing so it's like a dinosaur they act like they're the final boss like i feel like death claws get a lot of the hardest in the game yeah it's got like death claws get a lot of attention. They're like the hardest in the game. It's got the skin of a dinosaur, but it kind of walks around like a werewolf with a tail. I know what they look like. I just haven't seen it in the context of the game. So here's the problem. So there's a lot of really powerful enemies, and they're hard to deal with for different reasons. The reason the death

claw is so dangerous is he closes distance with you extremely fast. You might see one almost out of sniper range even, and you'll be like, ah, I'll pick you off before you can even get to me. You shoot him once in the head, and he's running at you serpentining.

He serpentines while he runs, and he runs faster than anything in the game. He's much faster than you, and he closes distance with you, and even if, like, I got my X-Series power armor, I got all my shit on, I'm pretty fucking tough, I take Med-X, and he's just like,

and all my health is gone except for this much. And his health has only went down by this much. And I know that once I get the whole bar, he's just gonna mutate and make a new bar that's even harder than the first one. So to kill a Deathclaw, or even like, especially like a group

of Deathclaws, you've either got to kind of cheese them, which is, you know, maybe you find an area they can't get into, like in a bus or something, shoot them through a window, or you've got to be tricky about it. Maybe make a little minefield that you lure them into or you call some artillery down on them. You really plan ahead.

Tucker, if you cheese on a livestream, do they fuss at you or is it just understood um i so this is actually the first fallout game that i've ever played like i've never played through any of them and aside from like you know certain videos here and there never touched it so what i've done pretty much it's just been exploring and stuff and i've run into uh i've run into a bunch of legendary monsters and even a legendary alpha deathclaw kind of looking ass thing that was also being shot at by an assault robot or something like that. And they both were way higher levels than me. And so I was like, okay, I'm going to try and fuck around with this.

So I got up on a bridge and I hid behind a car that was already blown up. And I was able to take out both of them. But it was kind of stupid because the Deathclaw is below me. So he can't get to me. But he's getting shot at by this dude. So I didn't engage him. So I just stole the Deathclaw kill. And then I killed the other guy from behind the car.

And everybody loved it. Like nobody gave me shit for it. Which is weird because I was like, man, you know, that was kind of stupid of me. Like I probably should have fought them head on later in the game. But you can't. They're so strong. That's the new thing too, which I think is really brilliant. The way they handled the leveling of the

characters and where they're located. The farther you explore away from your starting area, the tougher the enemies are. So if you go to the opposite corner of the map, they're level 50, which is the max level in the game. I'm a level, obviously, 1 at the beginning, but by the time I've done...

At this point, I'm like a level 36, I think. So I can handle a level 50 enemy most of the time if I see them first, and definitely if I get too... You know, if I got my save and I can go back and try it twice. I can make stuff happen. I'll tell you what my favorite weapon is. It's the... I've got a ripper, and it's the improved ripper, and it it twice. I can make stuff happen. I'll tell you what my favorite weapon is. I've got a ripper and it's the improved ripper

and it's incredible. It's like a little hand chainsaw and I just chop everything to fucking shreds. I've almost completed the game. I guess I could if I wanted to. I think I want to make a new character but the way the rank up system works now you can kind of be a jack of all trades because there's no level

cap. So I'm not sure what I'm going to do I'd like to make a new character though you were mentioning making just a melee character yes melee is so strong now if you put points into the ninja perk the various sneak perks the bonuses you get like a 10 times

multiplier and then you can do gun fu so that each enemy you hit in succession it's upgraded and then you can do Gun Fu so that each enemy you hit in succession, it's upgraded and there's splash damage for melee hits, I believe, and then you get yourself a cool melee knife that maybe doesn't take as much AP, boost your AP anyway, and you see guys like target, you'll

target a group on VATS that's pretty far away and hit attack and warp to them, and you're just like Bruce Lee all of a sudden, you'll hit them all of a sudden just you'll hit them all like a dozen times everything sounds I gotta do a play through where it's just straight melee only that sounds great mainly it sounds like you have to be good to try that though like I feel like

I'd shut 20 minutes into it too aggravated no I think it's a I think it's Tucker man I miss something no no, I was like sarcastically like, no man, it's not hard, I could totally do it. Once you get a few perks into it, and you know, you're focusing just on that, so there's no reason to put any perks into guns and all that stuff. I really want to do that. That sounds awesome. There's so many things to do in the game, I think it's got a lot of leg a lot of life I mean the DLC will come out. Are you on console? Yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna get it on the PC and do something eventually But right now it's nice to just be able to chill with my controller in my room

Oh, yeah I just the one hang up that I have from like a fresh player is the Interface and the way you navigate through the interface for building and menus is abysmal like it's honestly the interface for building and menus is abysmal like it's honestly it's really bad and i i know that it's like sort of a port to some extent but it's just like i hope it's better on on on console because i know it's that it's fair share but like the the interface almost makes me that mad just the way they have said i don't bother tab is back it's just stupid tab is yeah i i yeah tab is back e is select use the the arrow keys to scroll through things you but if you hit tilde which is right above tab it opens up the developer console which you have to escape from it's just like why yeah why are we doing it like this that

doesn't sound like any fun do all this without looking could could you uh you could play on your like with a controller, yeah. Fuck, why have I not done that? Well, because I like combat with keyboard and mouse. It's really nice being able to manipulate the items with the thumbsticks, but even then on console, I don't enjoy the settlement building. What I have done is put mortar positions in my settlements so that I get to call in those mortar strikes, because that's fucking sick.

But I haven't messed with it. What I haven't found is a lot of really legendary, cool level shit. I've got some powerful guns. I've got the X-Series armor, the 61-Series armor, the 51, and the 45, and I've got the Raider armor too, all those power armors, and I'm sure there are more, but I didn't get

anything that I... I want the jetpack and I want some legit weapons that are scary like I keep seeing online. I kill legendary Deathclaw after legendary Deathclaw, legendary Mirelurk Kings and glowing Mirelurk Kings and these stupid red widow stinger things that just

buzz around like a giant... It's like a giant mosquito with a huge scorpion sting instead of an ass. There are some terrifying enemies in Fallout. That's what what I love about it that you'll be walking along You'll come upon a group of like gunners and you'll just massacre them like they'll there's blood and gore and you take all their shit And you're like walking through the wilderness like yeah Motherfucker yeah, that's with me. I got this pistol and everything now, and then it's just you're just done

You just get insta killed by something and you don't even know what just happened like somebody hit you They didn't so we almost got fucked up by this thing called like a swan Where you you walk into like you aim at it, and it just says swan it's like this white thing on top of some water and If you shoot it like it turns out that the white thing was just a small little cyst on the back of a giant creature that has, like, a sword for an arm and a big axe in the other, and he just sprints at you and beats the shit out of you in one head. It was...

I haven't found it yet. I guess I need to look up online where he is and go fight him. I think that's, like, a unique enemy, like, who's only in that one pond or whatever. I've seen videos of it, but I haven't been there. Yeah, the only way that Melissa killed it was, like, I guess cheesing? Is that what it's called, where you kind of put yourself

in a position where they can't find you? Or they can't get you? Where she just hid behind a car, and he just could not wrap his head around, like, should I go this way or that way? Like, do I... I can't go this way. And let me just say, if I ever did fight a giant rock monster with a sword for an arm that

emerged from a pool, I would cheese him in real life, too. I would try to climb up on something high so he couldn't get me and shoot him from up there. So I don't use anything unrealistic. When I played Borderlands, I used to cheese a little bit. You know, it... See, here's the thing. So I livestream a lot of Borderlands, and if I a little bit. See, here's the thing.

So I live stream a lot of Borderlands. And if I did all the side quests, then I was typically really powerful compared to the main quest I needed to do. And people thought I was incredibly good. And if I skipped all the side quests, then I'd be like a level, whatever, 24, doing level 28 shit. And people would think I really sucked.

And it was like, well, I just feel like I'm really getting punished for not doing the side quests and i would do more of them and yeah you do get punished in borderlands for not doing those side quests because it'll go from like you're the grand poobah mastering everyone just beating the shit out of them to two quests later it's like whoa i've been playing the same game like i thought I had some really dope guns. I don't know what character you played, but the Gunzerker was the most fun where you use his special and he just goes like, fuck yeah, and flips everybody off

and takes his two guns out. Is that the Borderlands 2 we're talking about? He's a short guy? Yeah, that's the one I played. When you were on an equal level with everyone on those missions, you're just tearing through them with the two guns, both shotguns. He heals himself, like, for no reason. And then I think he gets health for shooting people, which he does a lot of.

He gets health for shooting people. And then once you max it out, in the middle of it, if you're facing a boss and you're, like, way low on health, you can revamp it. And he flips them off again, regains X health, and then keeps going. But you go, like, three levels higher than you, and suddenly you're like, my guy's getting really intense, but nothing's happening. Like, just kind of laughing at me.

He's making a big deal out of nothing here. Yeah, this guy needs to, like, cool his jets. Go back to the gym, dude. Go do that stupid mission where you find Tiny Tina's, you know, notebook. And it's frustrating. You know, like, you're like, all right, I guess I got to go extract some XP out of side. I'm looking for some green paint. Tiny Tina's notebook. It's frustrating. You're like, alright, I guess I gotta go extract some XP out of side.

I'm looking for some green paint right now. My guy is a super soldier inside of a giant mechanized suit. I shoot mini-nukes for fun, but I'm looking for green paint, goddammit. Some of those missions just aren't cool. You just gotta do them anyway. This is Fallout you're talking about? Yeah.

Is that what you do? You parade into a a town just this behemoth what do you need sir what do you need green paint we can have this gun but we don't have any green paint yeah i got the x series armor which to me looks like the covenant or um the Enclave. The Enclave armor from the earlier games. I don't know what's cooler than that in this game. Desk fans are cooler than that. I was about to say, I'm putting points into those perks now so I can actually

repair my power armor because right now I've just got a bunch of junked out power armor. I've seen some of the stuff that people have built. Their settlements and their garages. And yeah, that's cool and everything, but this is a single-player game. You're really just building that to show off. So I don't feel a need to do that.

I leave my shit out in the rain because it's video game rain. Well, I do too, but it's like Sims, though. Sometimes you just want to build some shit. I built a bar. I was bored and just built a bar because I had all the shit and then i like wired it up and i was like cool and that's my bar now like i just put it on my house and i was like all right i mean it's

not like i didn't go out specifically to build this bar but i got bored one day and it's there in the game kept me playing i guess but yeah kind of with kyle like I don't know the purpose of it. I don't know. I like Minecraft. I actually do. And building stuff seems to make sense. And it has some utility in that you have a place to sleep and protect yourself from the bad guys. But in Fallout, does it have any utility? Is there a reason you might want to buy it? All I really need is a box to store my shit.

You get benefits for like your community is happy. Do they give you anything for that? You can get caps. I think you can assign workers to like farm and stuff and get caps, but like I got endless caps. I got all my scoundrel perks. Like I don't need food. None of the things that would be provided by it can't be

acquired by going out and killing people and taking it. But it's a different play style. Like is like you're like our play style is definitely gonna be more like i know people that just blaze through the main missions and like they're they beat the game i have gone through two main missions and i'm level level 18 now like you know just exploring and killing things like that's what i want to do but there's's also, like, my girlfriend, straight up, is building a fucking town. She wants to build a town and support it. So it's like,

okay, different things, okay. Oh, that sounds so boring. I know, right? One thing I have seen, people will build really high towers and they'll have a sniper's perch and the views from up there are like, you know, because it's higher than anything else that exists in the game. The views from up there are really beautiful and the views from up there are like, you know, because it's higher than anything else that exists in the game.

The views from up there are really beautiful, and, you know, shooting stuff from up there is fun, too. So I would be... Can you cheese from up there? Oh, yeah. Yeah, definitely so. I like games where cheesing is, like, not only allowed, but kind of, like, you know, you're smart for doing that. It's not like, you bitch, like camping in COD.

It's like, yeah, you figured out a nice little place in that minivan backseat where that robot can't find you. It'd be nice if you could do that in Zombies a little more. Chiz needed to do some of that instead of starting that train last night with Cthulhu in it with him. I was in there too. Yeah, Chiz is a pretty slick player.

I think I'm getting pretty good at squirming around the Zombies. This is what Chiz is a pretty slick player I think I'm getting pretty good at squirming around the zombies this is what Chiz did I get down because I ran up into a room that didn't have an exit and and Chip comes up there to pick me up and so he picks me up and he's like alright as soon as you get up sprint into the

train car and we'll take off and leave the Cthulhu and the zombies behind that was so impressive we run jump in the train car and we'll take off and leave the Cthulhu and the zombies. That was so impressive. We run, jump in the train car. I get downed immediately because the Cthulhu jumps in the train car with us. But before Chip can get away, the train car takes off. So we're on this monorail thing, train whatever, going around the map, me downed, Chip up, and the Cthulhu just running back and forth, slamming.

It's one train car, if you guys haven't seen this. And Chip is like juking and ducking around the Cthulhu. The Cthulhu is as wide as the train car. Yeah. He's just having to like do the little slide. He survives the whole trip. So he single-handedly, didn't he kill the Cthulhu? Yes.

He took out the Cthulhu, revived Kyle, and it was that train car with a Cthulhu in it was instant death for 95% of players. Yeah, it was amazing. Because I'm laying there all like, sitting on my ass ass like maybe I'll distract him maybe I can block him with my body but no I don't know how he survived the train ride I want to see somebody else attempt that one get on the train with the Cthulhu and make the full

journey and hop out alive earlier in the night he brought a zombie on the train with him and just he didn't even shoot at it he just juked the zombie the entire trip and then hopped off which was impressive because it it kind of goes against my argument of like you know it's kind of tough for me because i can't kill anything with my bad guns it's hard to stay alive um but he probably would do better at it yeah you lost a 1v1 early

but you know i was telling so it was like round two or something he was in a 1v1 early, but, you know, I was telling him, so, it was like round two or something, and he was in a 1v1, and whatever happened, he got stuck, whatever, and got knocked down. And I was saying, I was like, you know, I think there's only like 30 total zombie models, like, they're in hell right now, and that one is telling the story. He's got them all, he's like, gather around,

gather around. I went up there, ran into Ron Perlman again. Just met him. Whooped his fucking ass. Whooped his ass. He had to bring Heather Graham over to take me out. He got two kills. Right?

Remember, he killed someone else. That was part of the story. You were telling it. He got two? He got me and another one of us four. He downed both of us. What do you mean? It was either Taylor or Chiz.

It might have been Chiz early. Yeah, and it was like, I took out two of them. Two of them. Round two. Took out two guys. I think he was the only guy left. If not, he was like one of three. It was really towards the end.

And I didn't take him as seriously as I should have. So, yeah, I'm really enjoying cod zombies i'm just completely addicted to fallout 4 and uh and i've played a good bit of the multiplayer in cod and i like man we're just getting our asses pumped every night as we're trying it's so hard to be good i don't know if i just lost my shit because i i could go back right now despite playing you know because we did the race before that like i could have probably gone back on cod 4 and dropped a 40 bomb without an issue just just done it you know but i hop up on this game and and it i can't do 2.0 kd i get lucky at a 1.5 as an average. And that's me sweating. We're playing

TDM and occasionally, like our good games, what was my good game last night? A 20 and 8 or something like that? Yeah, you got 20 plus. Yeah, dropping 20 kills in TDM is hard. But most of the time, it's me and Kyle in there

and it's like, I'll in there and it's like i'll go nine and eight and he'll go you know seven and five or seven and eleven you know that could easily happen i go negative regularly i don't know what it is man it's in every other thing we are not at all like our akd is like one but we rarely go 10 and 10. It's like we'll go 3 and 14, and then the next game it'll be, like, two in a row, like, 14 and 3. Like, just no consistency. We have to leave lobbies when a really good guy comes in. It's like, all right, well, I know my limits, you know. Yeah, you know, every now and then you'll run into, like, a party of three or four or something like that.

It's like, we've got to leave. Like, we'll just get stomped. I'll tell you what, on the XM rocket launcher, I've got the Policia camo unlocked for it. You've got to do like 150 kill streak kills to get that. I shoot down so much air support now just to stay alive in that game. My favorite tactic that I've... The only one I can really employ to consistent wins is camping.

Getting the haymaker and a mine and enough awareness perks to know when they're coming. And just holding down a house or something like that. Because if we go out and run and gun, it's one-to-one KD. That's what it's going to be. That's all we try to do most of the time now is you'll be like, Alright, house to the left. Get the haymaker. And then you post up at the stairs. And I am at the top of the stairs. is you'll be like all right house to the left get the haymaker and then you post up at the stairs and i am at the top of the stairs and we just wait and usually best case scenario it's like a guy right to your left got him guy right next to you got him guy up there

ah fuck all right well start over new house new house new house find another building like best case scenario you get three people there my thing is it's I I don't feel like it's Call of Duty with all the crazy taunts and the in the robot characters and and and all the special abilities Sometimes like the grenade launcher specialist package like that makes sense, right? Yeah, give me a super noob tube That's Call of Duty, but I'll then this guy's invisible over there running around and he's legit invisible He's hard to see or the one guy that turns into like four versions of him that all glow gold and scatter and you're like don't know which one to shoot and i never shoot the right one um you know the bow and arrow guy i don't mind that's definitely a skillful thing i'm not very good with it and the grenade uh the the revolver too the high powered one but some of those specialist packages are pretty fucking op it feels like and you get them so

regularly i i get two or three a game, and... Really? We've been talking about how poor we are at the game. If I get nine kills, I get two nade launchers. Have you used a purifier? Because that one might change your RP. Is that the RP? The flamethrower?

No, the flamethrower. No, but we got killed a lot by it. So here's the deal with that. Like, I feel like the earlier on ones, like the bow and arrow, you know, and Seraph, who's the pistol, I feel like the the earlier on ones like the bow and arrow you know and seraph who's the pistol i feel like i could get them easily twice a game if i'm having an average game and if i'm going off three times three times sure but the purifier is a one and a half to two times a game like if i'm doing well and that thing has some drawbacks but at the same time if you if you

touch somebody with that flame they are gone they are dead and that's it it is so fun to use but it actually i feel like it actually has its drawback versus some of the other ones i feel like the earlier ones the seraph with the the golden gun pretty much i can kill six people just by aiming well you know it's not like the same with the grenade you can aim well no i'm i lost it man i'm loud you da nice. No, I'm fucking garbage now. That grenade launcher. Like, when I spawn with that thing in TDM, I immediately check my mini-map,

figure out where my guys are, assume where they are, aim it straight up in the air, and I go, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, left to right until it's completely empty. That way I know I get to shoot them all. Nobody's gonna kill me before I get rid of this thing. And I often get a double kill just spamming them across the map.

Because each shot is three grenades and you got like six of them or something like that. So you're throwing 18 explosions randomly on the map. You'll get a kill every now and then. And then you're right back in the game with your AR. It's kind of like having an airstrike. Almost, yeah. It's better than the dart.

The dart is a low-end killstreak and you got a little drone in your hand. Like airstrike. Almost, yeah. It's better than the dart. The dart is a low-end killstreak, and you got a little drone in your hand. Like a paper airplane, you're like, and then you pull a thing out, and you're in control of it. It is so hard to control. It feels like you're always like, oh god, don't hit the trees! Oh, where am I now?

You wouldn't just go up and use it like a predator? I mean, you can. A predator feels smooth. This feels like you're actually fighting to fly something that's not good at flying. And it shoots missiles, and when you shoot the missile, it's like, oh, that really affected my aerodynamics. It's difficult. And I've only gotten three of them, so I'm certainly not an expert.

But all three of them failed. Haven't figured it out yet. I like it. It's not the coolest. You guys are flat out scaring me off of multiplayer. Oh, no. You need to come on and play with us. Yeah, hop on with us.

I will. The challenge is, so what happens is we'll start playing zombies at like 11, and it might be 1.30 when the zombies round is over, and it's time for me to go to bed. Yeah. Yeah. We do play late sometimes. I'm down to play any time though virtually. Chiz was up all night I think.

So I know after I was done he worked. No he went to bed early. Did he? Well he told us he did. No he told you he had stuff to do. Yeah he said he was going to work on something and then I was playing zombiesies Real Late last night, and I checked, and it was like,

Dr. Chiz, level 10 on the giant. And I'm like, this fucker's trying to get more kills than me on the leaderboard, so I hop on. So he played Zombies last night? I didn't know there was a kill leaderboard to fight for. So he was up at 4.30, he did some work. My wife took the kids to school, or hope a school leader board to fight for. So he was up at 4.30. He did some work. My wife took the kids to school or hope to school or something. At 7 a.m., he was out walking, like exercising or something.

And I'm like, I don't understand his sleep schedule at all. I don't understand. I don't know. So, yeah. Try playing a non-respawn or try playing like an objective game mode if you're getting your ass beaten tdm i can't play tdm because i don't know like i can you know when you say you look at the mini map you're like ah they're in this quarter like if you just get if you just play your camp on like b and b and c you know where they are no matter what like they're there i don't like i mean

i always have trouble with tdm i can't do well but domination that shit is super easy. Yeah I'd be down for some Dom or even ground war to get some more enemies out there. Oh yeah some ground war! I tried ground war and it was really stressful and so I just decided to go back. I like the air support in this game I feel like it's very powerful and there are of course there's a quad barreled uh rocket launcher so even the crazy shit that takes multiple rockets you can be like oh not today but it doesn't seem like there's a lot of people shooting down air support and those wraps i've gotten wraps twice

out of a care package these big balls that just roll around looking for bad guys and they explode when they get close enough and i looked last night i called wraps in from a care package and taylor's running behind four of my balls just like like they're leading the charge for him and anything everybody's trying to shoot the ball so he gets to shoot them as they're uh unfocused and i like that i and that's an early kill street like maybe 10 or 12 kills depending on the game it's good though like i i really over it because the balls had been called in against kyle and i at one point like a few maybe like a week ago and we didn't know what they were. And we were just getting fucked by him, just like trying to shoot it.

And another one comes in from the side. And so when Kyle called it in for the first time, not that other time, I thought that like they were my vanguard, that I was like the general, like commanding them. So I was running behind them, like trying to get kills. And the first guy that pops around the corner just shoots like four of the balls and then kills me i'm like well god damn it like how does this work there's some tough competition out there it feels like i rarely run into a guy who's like having trouble controlling his character you know like i run into like i get sound whored a lot in tdm i see that happen all the time i'll watch the

kill cam and the guy was going this way and then he's just like whoa! Fucking turns around and like comes straight to me and he's either seeing me on UAV I keep UAVs down the whole game or he, so he's gotta be sound whoring me and I'll look, oh yeah he's got fucking awareness on they're sound whoring me in TDM like just the, real try hard

the population got better in COD like I, my channel started off as tips and tricks and then I just felt like half of the tips I recommended people already knew and they The population got better in COD. My channel started off as Tips and Tricks. And then I just felt like half of the tips I recommended people already knew. And they don't like hearing what they already know. Well, what about Grenades and Zombies? That's why you're washed. And then I watched T-Mart's channel too, right? T-Mart, he was the Tips and Tricks guy.

Jumps and Spots. And it seemed like people knew a lot of his jumps and spots already. The whole population has gotten way better. It's also the amount of people spreading the info. I just saw Trevor get called out for not confirmed, but on Reddit for taking their tips and using it in videos without like proper credit or whatever but it's just like the sheer amount of places that you can find info whether it's like twitter or facebook or or reddit or whatever you want is it's not just youtube anymore you know you'd go to youtube to find these tips and tricks now you just kind of go there for the video proof of these tips and tricks

like somebody will say like i found a cool spot like throw a nade from B flag to C and it'll land in the house. And you're like, OK. But I mean, I just feel like the availability of info is definitely spurring people like there's more ways they can find out other than YouTube now. Yeah. And sometimes you're like almost indirectly guilty of that. Like I've had a time where I was accused of stealing a tip from Reddit, but it actually came from my YouTube messages. Yeah. And it could very well have come from Reddit and I didn't know. That's what,

that's what Trevor said. And nobody gave him shit after he explained like, you know, Reddit is not like a sole source of it. Like, like brand new ideas. It's where people post ideas they've heard of as well. So,

you know, it could be the first spot. It could be the last spot that people check, whatever. Yeah. How was the race, man? Dude, it was awesome it we it went really well this year uh i mean uh you always get that that like crowd of people that are like the race is all about max prestige and we were like one time it was the rest of the time it was for charity but um we

ended up raising 450 000 for uh the of Duty Endowment, which was sick, and definitely way more than we thought we were even going to do because our goal was $25,000. So we kind of did a little better than that. A little. The Call of Duty Endowment, I think someone was explaining it to me that it finds jobs for veterans. Does that sound right? Yeah, yeah. The gist of it is it helps get veterans the tools they need to get jobs themselves.

So basically it gives it gives it's a nonprofit that gives them like resources for job, you know, job interviews, how to take interviews, resume building, like the stuff that you would normally get if you went to career and, you know, career counseling at your college. But they don't have it because they're in the military as well as connecting them with companies that are more likely to hire veterans cool yeah that's great man so you just played cod I saw the everybody tweeting about it for a while so you just sit there and play cod for how long I was six five and a half days so almost six days 24 7 four-hour shifts rotating every time time someone would, like, they'd do donations and make PKA things about it, it would, like, show up on. I saw, like, Jericho confirmed for PKA in two weeks.

Like, what about Vonderhaar? Vonderhaar said no. And everybody said no. Oh, yeah. No, we had a bunch of people asking about PKA. Or there was, I don't know. I think someone did a donation in the name of Rape Squad Killers at one point.

Yes, they did, which we didn't read out loud. I feel comfortable reading Rape Squad Killers now. Oh, we got a little cash from the Rape Squad Killers. Nice group of guys. Very charitable. Thank you. When they're not doing the raping and killing. I'm a little glad that I wasn't around

for that rape talk. So that you're not technically a rape squad killer. So that it's like, hey, hoo-hoo. When this all comes crashing and burning, I'll just slink into the mist. Known as the rape squad killers. That nightly news report. Yeah, that news voice.

Internet group rape squad killers. Yeah. Oh, come on. It was the one time. People changed that into their clan tag when we were playing last night. Like, I figured, why don't you just do PKA? Take rape out of it. Lilzon, that was his.

We are not built for it. He had a strong recommendation. He's like, you have got to get rape out of your branding. And I was like, it's a joke. He's like, you don't know. Someday you'll be interviewing for some guy whose sister faced that problem, and you'll be sunk. And it's like, yeah, I guess your rape is just bad branding.

It's arguably the worst. I'd rather be the genocide Nazi squad than the rape squad killers. Yeah, what's worse than being a rapist is even being a Ku Klux Klan member is not as bad. They probably spit on rapists. I have a thing.

Yeah, yeah. That segues into Jared, right? He had two child porn. He had two terabytes of child porn. That's a lot of storage. As being from a background of network engineering, how many images and videos of child porn is two terabytes? Let's just say that an HD movie is between

two and three gigabytes, right? Does that sound right? Like when you download an hour and a half long movie, it's about two gigabytes, so let's work with that. That's HD by the way. So, shit, two goes into a thousand. That's 500 movies, right? That's 500 movies, right?

That's like 750 hours worth of HD child porn, roughly. That's a lot. He was not sitting on a couple images. This was no, like, I accidentally downloaded a folder. It wasn't a thumbnail from 4chan. It's in his cache. It took four weeks, but I accidentally downloaded all of his child porn. Jared was not dabbling in this. No. No he's like a- It's a premeditated thing. And he had sex with a 16 year old which wasn't as big of a deal to me even though she was a 16 year old prostitute it seems.

I think that makes it better right? Would you rather get caught fucking a 16-year-old cheerleader or a 16-year-old prostitute? Right? Personally, the prostitute. And I feel like in Europe that – Ah, shucks. I'm going to – Don't take my legal advice. The prostitute is being pimped by somebody and kind of forced into it while the cheerleader can give more consent.

Okay, I changed my mind already. I don't know. I really want to fuck both and make up my own mind. Well, let's see what the justice system thinks about it and fuck them both. What was I saying? Oh, I think in Europe, 16 is you're good to go. You can consent. Lots of states in the United States, 16 is good to go.

I'm one of them. Yeah, I think I am too. I think that if you're 16, you're good to consent. If you're below 16, you have to be within four years to go. I'm one of them. Yeah, I think I am too. I think that if you're 16, you're good to consent. I didn't know that. If you're below 16, you have to be within four years to consent. And below 13 or 14, you can't consent at all. Something crazy like that. In some states, you can with parental permission.

You don't have those forms. It's a 7-4-8. I travel with those. Okay, I'm ready. There was kind of a thing like that on the New South part where the PC guys, they have a fraternity that they're the PC fraternity. You know, the Greek alphabet

and everything. And they all have sex and then the next morning the PC principal is walking through getting consent forms from the guys. He's like, if you scored, let me get your consent form. Whoa, whoa, Johnson, did you perform cunnilingus last night? That's a separate form.

They're hitting, you know, it's all about political correctness. So, like, one of the guys is hitting on a girl, and he's like, I'd totally love to take you upstairs and crush your pussy. How would you feel about that? She's like, ah, I'm not really sure. He's like, I'm gonna

need affirmative consent from you right now. I need you to say, yes, I would like you to take me upstairs and crush my pussy. Every time I have microaggressions and all that shit. I love the season of South Park. And now the overarching storyline has been revealed. And we've got two more episodes to, like, meet this out. You've got Mr. Garrison heading back home from Washington. Spoilers.

Fuck the problem. I didn't give anything away. I need to watch that after this. I have a microaggression thing. Did you see the Apple guy is in hot water right now? Which Apple guy? No, okay. It's an Apple guy I've never heard of before. What does he do?

Apparently he's in charge of this online streaming service that they have there was like a beats one they're canceling and now apple music is that what it's called tucker apple music yeah it's apple music and uh they have a new kind of like automated playlist it's oh jimmy levine or love it he's the he was the ceo of like uh interscope records too. Okay. And this was his big mistake. He said that there are a lot of women who have a hard time finding music that they like.

So they're coming up with this service and it'll like suggest music to them. And I heard that and thought, dude, that's really cool to me because I have a hard time finding music. Like my Spotify playlist for me is so stale. I've been listening to it forever. I don't think I have a hard time finding music. Like my Spotify playlist for me is so stale. I've been listening to it forever. I don't think I have any songs on there more than like three years old or less than three years old.

Like I really need something recommended to me. And I've tried. Oh, by the way, if you're watching this. I thought you just used Hope's playlist. Like based on what I've heard, I thought that was your daughter's music. That's yours? You picked that shit? So if you're watching this and you you have playlists that someone maintains in Spotify

that you think I like, we all know I like girl music, then post it or something. Say, Woody, here's a way for you to find good music. Because whenever I listen to the Spotify top 100 US or something, I feel like I don't like it. Do you not use Pandora? No.

Holy shit, dude. Okay. Do you think that's the way to go I prefer if I'm gonna like have music playing in the house but I Spotify lets you choose the song no listen so if you're trying to discover music that is around the same interest and it sounds like you have a pretty set idea so could you pull off five songs off the top of your head that are the ideal example what you like call me? Maybe raise your glass by pink Shake it off by Taylor Swift, right? So much She's talking about fighting like, yeah, yeah! Fuck yeah,

going about my day. Doing whatever his day is, like his pump to peak. He's talking about her period and dealing with her boss and he's like, I know how it feels, girlfriend. I'm so gay for a straight guy.

Yeah, you can start with one song or five or whatever and it's really easy if you like more mainstream music and it'll take anything from like the tempo of the song to like a lead female singer with this kind of beat in it

and it'll basically, it's like radio it'll play you songs that are similar to that in some vein i i used to listen to pandora and i actually know a lot of this but it didn't let you pick a song like you tell it like dude i totally love pink and then it would play everything but your fucking favorite song so what you use it for is for finding artists and songs that you like but haven't heard of and then you go to Spotify or SoundCloud or YouTube and you go oh I didn't know I like you know tub low and then you go to Spotify and you search tub low you've got all of her music and you go oh shit

I like all these you throw them back into Pandora you make your playlist and then Pandora helps you Discover new music while you get it from Spotify Maybe I should give Pandora because I pay for Spotify to get it ad free Because I play music when I live stream and I really don't like playing. It seems unprofessional to have ads in a live stream. But for Spotify, I don't pay for Pandora and there's ads. Maybe I should

just go through it. I think it's like every four songs maybe. And so I mean it's like a 30 second shitty at you know centos working in peril and you're like i feel like it's a place that spotify is falling down like they don't help me find new music uh they let me listen to whatever i want i just don't know it but anyway back to the apple guy um apparently saying that i forget if he said women

or girls but whatever like i think he said. Women are having a hard time finding music. And he described this scenario where they're hanging out and talking to each other about different things. And they want music for that event. And now we have playlists and it'll help them find it. And everyone got really mad. Like, I don't need you to mansplain music to me and stuff like that. I don't need you to mansplain music to me and stuff like that. I don't need you to explain or provide this optional service tailored to my needs, sir.

How much of a pretentious little spoiled brat do you have to be to throw a fit about something like that? Mansplain it to me. I'm not hurt at all. Microaggressions, dude. I've been on the microaggression train for like 10 years. At Cisco, they taught us. The HR thing? A lot of meetings?

Yeah. It sounds like it. It's cabs, man. We went to – I actually had training in microaggressions, and it wasn't a boy-girl thing or race thing at the time. It was just like, hey, if I'm talking to you, like even if I'm – like they'd say, look, if you're IMing someone and you're multitasking, you take a while to go back, that's a little microaggression, right? Someone's on the other side, like, ah, damn it. If I'm talking, if you're in my cube talking to me and I got like one eye

on you and one eye on the email, like that's a microaggression. You might not think of this, but you're really kind of telling that guy he's not as important as, you know, whatever else it is that you're looking at and uh they just kind of made you aware of all these little micro aggressions and now i'm hearing microaggression is like a pc thing i'm like it's being totally rephrased for me dude the safe space shit have you seen this stuff i'm pissed about it yeah and i'll so infuriated. And I'll tell you, I should let you finish. Go on. No, I like where you're probably going to agree with me. Go.

Here's the thing. I feel like a lot of these groups who are looking for diversity are actually looking for more of me. Right? Not me, but the people who, like, they're not saying I wanted to be treated equal. They're saying we need more of me in this job. Whatever you are. You could be a girl. You could be black.

You could be white. We need more gingers in here. It's all like we need more of me. More of me, more of me, more of me. And they're never saying, hey, something seems unfair. It's always like the University of Missouri thing. They're straight up saying we need more black people hired into these jobs. It should be just a qualification-based thing.

If they have some kind of proof that they're under-hiring some level. Like, look, all the PhD grads of history majors represent 12% of the total, yet we seem to have 6% on staff. What's the scoop here? Explain that away. But no, they're just saying more black people, you know, more this, more that. We don't care where they are. Just placate us so we don't throw a fit and so our football team doesn't quit in the middle of the season.

Oh, God forbid you lose again. Oh, God forbid you suck for the rest of this year. I want to see the people in charge take tough stances on this sort of thing. Just be like, if you don't. Oh, God forbid you suck the rest of this year. I want to see the people in charge take tough stances on this sort of thing. Just be like, if you don't like it, get the fuck out. It's not necessarily even like that that's the most obnoxious. What's obnoxious to me is there was one, I guess it was, maybe it was Yale. It was something like students going into library and harassing other students who are studying for an exam. And like, can you guys please think

we're trying to study. And they're saying fuck you, you pretentious, gifted bitch for taking your education seriously. It was That was the Black Lives Matter people in Dartmouth, I think. Dartmouth, yeah.

I hate the Black Lives Matter people. Racists are the worst. I hate them more than ISIS. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, so it's like it's it's more like hate the black lives matter people I hate them more than Isis yeah There's the When you make your means I want to be out Look I hate them more than Isis at least ISIS has a clear mission. Is that the hill you want to die on? Go on. I mean, yeah. No, let him go.

Okay. He's going to do this. He's already halfway out there. Just wait for it. No, like, at least with ISIS, you know what you're dealing with. Like, they're as misguided and horrible as they are. We know what they want and where they're heading and why they feel that way. These Black Lives Matter people are just the worst. Just the worst

kind of people who... They're like, I hate anyone who's intolerant of race and white people. What the fuck are you doing? You are the epitome of what you claim to hate. You hate white people. You are a black supremacist. That's

what you are, motherfucker. Fuck you, you black supremacist. You are a black supremacist. That's what you are, motherfucker. Fuck you, you black supremacist. You are a racist. Not me. I like all the racists. I wish we could all get along in some sort of Martin Luther King children holding hands and singing kind of thing. You, on the other hand, are like, fuck whitey. Like, you suck. Fuck you. I'm an employer.

They're going out of their way. Like, every little story that I hear about it, like, it started with like perceived injustices or it's like hey this guy sold cigarette and then he got you know slain on the ground he died because of it and there were still people saying like oh well that was just the police should have done that oh they shouldn't and now they've just co-opted any and all case where a black person is victimized even it was like a black guy assaulted his girlfriend and then assaulted the cops when they arrived and they were protesting that that guy's like that guy

shouldn't have been shot it's like well you know maybe maybe pull it back and be a little more selective in your screening process because this is making this is reflecting poorly on all of you like yeah it's it's like uh it's it's really kind of unfortunate because you understand that there's probably at the very start of this like the people that made this movement were probably very in tune with, like, we're out here to help. No, not the people that are on it now, but whoever the initial, like, probably five people are like, we want to do something that actually helps in a way that actually benefits people. I doubt it. in a way that actually benefits people in like a socio all right there's a group that's getting there's a there's a the majority is getting hurt because of this smaller like stupid ass group like the majority that's actually a movement that's trying to make

some meaningful changes i can't get on board with the majority of black lives matter are like well thought out like everything i see no no no no no all of them the vast majority are idiots I'm saying that the greater movement that is not Black Lives Matter but just the social like injustice movement for that group

is getting shit on by these absolute idiots that I cannot stand they shut down and bullied Bernie Sanders right? yeah that's what I'm like why?

yeah yeah yeah this guy literally marched with Martin Luther King. He's the only one out of all of them that has done anything to support these people. He is top of the peak, and you stupid fucks picked on him because he's old and white? You are racist, stupid fucks.

Because if he was black, you wouldn't have done it. If he was black with that track record, you would have been... He's turned out poorly. It turned out poorly. It turned out poorly when they picketed bernie for both parties and so i didn't mind it as much because it made them look like jackasses and it made bernie look like a feeble little wiener where he's like yeah you can finish your point i don't have any backbone oh clearly come up here and you talk like instead of being like Trumpets on where it's like George Bush would have been

No you will not talk because I would have punched somebody No George Bush would have been over there He would have like whispered in somebody's ear and they'd have had the fire hoses on those motherfuckers 30 seconds later As fucked up as Bush is he would not have been bullied by those guys

Shame on me Yeah um You don't think George Bush would beat up an overweight, overweight black woman in a heartbeat. It wouldn't be his first either. He's, he's whipped many a cook. I'm sure. He was kissing a white baby,

you know? So, uh, but, um, but yeah, that the social injustice thing that's happening right now, people getting upset over nothing,

demanding safe spaces, asking for things that aren't equal, right? Like I think it's University of Missouri, but I could have it wrong. But they're all mixed up in my head. They're literally asking for a black-only safe space. Flip that around and make it a whites-only area, and you can see how ridiculous that is. I mean that's always been the thing with like I mean that's just the issue with them using safe space as a word to mean like no opposing views versus safe space being

when I heard it I was like yeah dude a safe space where everybody can say anything that they want without fear of repercussion in this day and age sounds sick and then I read into it and I was like fuck it's the exact opposite yeah this is different than the circle this is a safe space the safe circle is where we

can, we're in the tree, and like, I'll meet the parents, and we can, you know, we can all talk, and express our feelings, and our feelings, not just our beliefs, but what we're feeling about a thing, right there in the moment, the raw emotion, we can express that, and then analyze it, and see what actually, you know, do a little self

analyzation there, and we can all have a free open discussion about what things mean to us. But they're talking about the exact opposite of that. They're taking, what's the opposite of a safe, they're talking about a dangerous space. You know what? PKA is a safe space. On PKA, we say ridiculous shit. This is a safe space. But like, a safe space, as far as they're defining it, is like, it's a space for like-minded people where everybody has their finger on the button

ready to let it implode at the first sight of something that they don't like. And then the safe space has the parameters have to be re-evaluated to include whatever they need in there. And then if something else happens or somebody's offended, they hit their button and, well, now we can't have black

licorice in here. We need to only have Twizzlers. We think that's subjugating you. You don't eat black things. That's racist. And so you move that away. No more those black tortilla chips. I love those. Really? Those are the worst. I like them. They're the only ones robust enough to stand up

to some heavy salsa, you know? They're not going to crack under pressure. They're the only ones robust enough. Honestly, the best. Tostitos makes these fajita scoops that are the best out there. No, dude, listen, I'm gonna stop you here. I have a 30 minute video talking about chips and how fucked it is. Alright?

Why do we not have small, bite-sized circle chips? Why are the chips triangles that cut the corner? You can't eat one of those big chips in one bite. Well, the scoops are. No, they're like a frag grenade of shards in your mouth. It's like, if I wanted to shred my mouth, Captain Crunch.

Thank you so much for coming on the show, Tucker. This is awesome. I know how to eat chips. Every time you scoop with those, it's just like a little mini bowl, you can't, there's no comfortable way to bite it. Am I going to kind of go in edge-wise and then flip myself

like a retarded person, or do I shove the whole thing in my mouth and then deal with the sharp edges coming down on the top of the roof of my mouth? There's no way to do it. You flip it upside down. You go in, you flip it upside down on your tongue. Then when you bite, it's hung. Monkey bars, or go like, I'm just having a good time at this party. Oh

Do you stick your tongue out to do this yeah, that's your problem? I do I am a Small circle chips they can do the job and fit in your mouth and one by those out in the corners They can do the job and fit in your mouth in one bite. Tostitos are out in the corners. The rounds are the ideal. For me? They don't need to be little tiny ones. I want smaller scoops. I think that's the perfect thing.

Because I don't really... Oh, those Fritos scoops? I'm not interested in a salsa-less chip. Right? That's just not my style. I don't eat chips without salsa. So I want the scoops just a little smaller. So that I can...

Like, I should be able to... If it were half the size, I could bite it with one half of my mouth break them up into manageable pieces I wish the chips came in a long stick that I could hold like a spoon and every time I scooped more and ate it it continued to be you double dipping scum

and then a trough almost get a little on there do you know how broken they'd be in the bag? And you put sections in it. You need different packaging. Delete this episode. This is a business idea. Kyle, we're going in together. No, no. You would need to package them like pretzel

sticks. And then you'd have a thing. Like a trot? We're on to something here. Get the Fritos people on the phone, Marge. That's a good idea. I'd purchase that. Come in a Pringles can style thing. We could call them the double dippers.

The double dippers. I have no problem with double dipping, like, within my, like, family group or, like, me and my girlfriend. But, like, you don't double dip, like, your girlfriend or something? No, I have no problem with who I'm doing it with. It's the fact that you're leaving saliva in that can and you're going to seal it up. And then, like, I just don't want extra bacteria. Put it in a bowl and double dip all you want. You pour the salt into a dish. Yes, as long as you can do that, that's fine.

But sometimes I just eat out of the can. I only double dip if it's just for me. Really? Yeah, otherwise I just did. I might plan ahead and have the same thing I Might break it and then dip each of those that's we got we were at a Mexican restaurant one night with Jeremy and you know Jeremy's oral hygiene and leaves something to be desired and and so he he bites the chip and I'm watching him right like I'm I Need to know and then he comes back in it was a big chip like you know

It's a big triangle chip at a Mexican restaurant he bites the chip goes back in gets a big double scoop and and and as he's putting it into his mouth like it gets in his mouth but he's holding his mouth over the bowl of salsa and a little a little bit drips out of his mouth and back into the salsa. And I'm just like. Wait. More salsa. What a salsa po-po-po. No, I checked out.

And I've also seen him. See, this happened to my cousin Scott. Like, they went to Zaxby's. And Scott had, like, this big salad, this chicken salad. Jeremy coughs right into Scott's salad. He just pushed it away. He's like, never mind. Never mind.

That was the precedent with double dipping where I do it. I do it proudly, too, most of the time. We're like, well, if you're the first one to take a dip, it's kind of like when you're skinny dipping. Someone has to be the first one to take their shorts off, which I'm also fine with doing that, being the first one. So you dip, you set the precedent. I i admire your leadership you quickly do it again and then everybody else knows all right as long as you're not gross this is accepted or they all think you're an ass or they think i'm an ass but then i get more salsa because

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most of you already know about this but but about a week ago, I'm going to say, me, Taylor, and Chiz were playing Zombies. It was the first time we played, and Chiz was getting a little deep in his cups, if you know what I mean. On Smirnoff Ice, it sounded like, or something. What the fuck? Does Chip really drink Smirnoff Ice? I'm just picking on Chip. I don't know what he does. I don't know what beverage he was enjoying that night. Chip is over there getting drunk in the guest house i can't confirm

that i don't know is that against the rules no did he break the rules um so go on let me lay this out for everyone change topics later so after a few hours taylor and i were able to pick it out of chis that he's leaving Woody's house. He's heading back home. Uh, you know, he's been there for three months at this point. Anyway, he had been there for three months. It's a little more now. Uh, and he, and he said like, yeah, I want to go back home, spend more time with my parents, this and that. He had a few reasons and he was like, I don't know how to tell Woody though. And, uh, and he's like, I'm going to tell him tomorrow. So don't, you know, don't spoil it or anything. I want to like do this at an opportune time when he's like, I'm going to tell him tomorrow, so don't spoil it or anything. I want to do this at an opportune time

when he's not already upset about something or doesn't have a bunch of shit going on. So we're like, okay. So two days pass by, and I ask Taylor, I'm like, did he tell him? He's like, he told me he was going to tell him yesterday. And I was like, he told me he was going to tell him today. And then a week went by.

So finally, he told Woody that he's tell him today and they're like a week went by so finally he uh he told woody that he that he's moving back home and everything um ah shit i i feel like i i forgot the what made all this funny what made it funny is that the entire time that like me and kyle were trolling him the whole time i'm sure you were thinking of something else but we were convincing him like slowly and steadily like that this wasn't gonna go smooth for him And it's like oh man like what he is gonna be so pissed like he's gonna be so mad about this whole thing Like how are you gonna handle that and he just like I don't know man like he's getting he's gonna be so mad at me And me and Kyle like man. I am NOT envious of your situation

walking into the devil's lair Telling Chiz that like I had had a private conversation with Woody and I had learned that Woody had contacted Chip's father and arranged to get power of attorney over him like gonna declare him like a mentally uh incompetent and fucking get power of attorney over him like Britney Spears father and like force him to stay at the at the place oh I remember what made all this funny so so so Chiz knows he's going to move, right? So he needs boxes to pack his shit up and ship it back home.

So he has a big box delivered to the estate. And Woody and Jackie see the big box show up and they don't know what's in it. So, they're inquisitive. They ask just, what was in the big box? He doesn't have an answer. How could he? How could he have an answer he doesn't jackie knew an answer there was nothing

he could say so like jackie was at first he i think was was considered like maybe it's a sex doll maybe he's got one of those real dolls and like and woody and i had had this conversation before i learned what all of this from from chis later on about the box that showed up and how we think maybe it's a real doll we don't know what he ordered it's something big though and then chiz are talking about this he's like i what was i gonna say like there's no possible answer jackie said like so chiz sat on this information he bought boxes because he goes home by bus of course and uh so he's shipping all his things home and uh like three weeks before he told me, these boxes arrived.

And it was just a day or two after Chiz told us, Jackie's like, she put it all together. She's like, that box was a box of boxes. Chiz knew for three weeks and he was sitting on this. And when he told me, he's like, don't feel bad. Even my dad only knew a week and a half ago. And he told me like Wednesday he's moving, don't feel bad. Even my dad only knew a week and a half ago. And he told me Wednesday he's moving out Saturday. It was real tight.

Yeah, his was a procrastinator for that because he told us it was a set thing. And we just, every night playing zombies, like, did you tell Woody? Oh, he's going to be so mad at you. I don't know where that comes from. I'm never mad at anything. No, no. Me and Kyle knew that you weren't going to be mad at him, but it was funny to rile him up and just plant that seed of doubt

and watch it fester. Yeah. Like the night before, he had asked me to make a fire, which I enjoy the fires, but no one else takes any role in the fires. They all sit back, and I have to like – it's mostly like construction. Really? You're telling me Chiz back, and I have to... It's mostly construction. Really? You're telling me Chiz doesn't help with the fire? It's true.

Daddy Woody, make me a fire! Yeah, yeah. It's like hours beforehand, I'm out there cutting wood into fire-sized pieces and stacking it. He doesn't help at all with the... This doesn't sound like Chiz. It sounds like an uncharacteristic thing. It helps on the trip, right?

No, not once ever so uh so he wanted to do a fire and one i think it had rained the day before so it wasn't going to burn as well and two like the whole family was in our pajamas just like watching tv together so the next day i made the fire that he wanted and that's when he told me and he's like in my defense i wanted to have a fire before and i'm like yeah yesterday yesterday so he sat on that info for a while he um he wants to be with his dad uh he has a good relationship with his father and and uh you know would like to live back at home he uh he also said he hated the physical labor that that was just something that he he really really didn't enjoy and um can you give me like a too long wasn't here for the last three months yeah so call it like four months ago which is i

wanted to build a shop right this this shop in my yard it's gonna be nice like half woodworking half automotive with a lift in it you know that picks the car yeah this is like a dream it's for me and uh and she was just like what if i could get you that shop for free or maybe even make money on it? And I'm like, huh? He says, yeah, we'll find sponsors and they'll deliver materials. We'll charge them to like advertise and, you know, like fluorescent light sponsors and whatever it is. And, uh, I'm like, that sounds amazing. So he's going to come here and he's going to build the shop. And then I get it as kind of a pet project in my head to help Chiz out in a lot of ways. In a lot of ways, Chiz really has his act together, but fitness isn't one of them. So I'm like, this is going to be great. We'll work on this thing together. He'll stop smoking,

which he did. And a lot of great things will happen for everybody involved. Just winds all over the place. And as kind of a trial, like get ready sort of thing, I have a stable that had like tornado damage with a roof pulled off and stuff. And I was like, let's do this. You know, get a grip for what it's like, maybe to film it, to do it, et cetera. And as a trial run, it didn't go well. Chiz hated every second of it.

It's not his cup of tea, and he wants to go home. So that's that. I hope he doesn't start smoking again, but I would bet large sums of money that he does. I would too. That nicotine is

a harsh mistress. Yeah, I would say there's a 1 a 1000% chance that he will start smoking again there's a couple things I have this is what I base my opinion on one he doesn't talk like an ex-smoker he's not really like oh yeah I remember when I smoked

god I was so dumb that was a terrible idea he's reminiscing but he's thinking I remember when I could. God, I was so dumb. That was a terrible idea. He's reminiscing, but he's thinking, I remember when I could smoke. Yeah, yeah. I would be like... Those were good times. We had a stressful day on WoodyCraft or something. We're launching Skyblock on WoodyCraft.net.

If you're watching this Saturday, it went live yesterday. And yeah, it's awesome. We're going to have the best Skyblock the world's ever seen. Yeah, false mine is better. It's the default plug-in that you can find for free. We have a college professor from Australia modifying our stuff and getting it all cooked up.

Yeah. Fancy. He's a college professor that teaches programming and uses Minecraft as a learning aid. So anyway, that's who's working on our Skylock stuff. But it's been stressful to get there. And I would say something about cigarettes. And instead of being like, yeah, right? It's like, yeah, that'd be good right now.

And then the other thing, and it's just a different background than I come from. I was really, I was talking about him quitting last year, and he quit, I don't know, December or something, and then his parents got him more cigarettes for Christmas, right? Wait, the parents buy him packaged cartons probably of cigs? There's your enabler. That'll start something. cartons probably of cigs there's your enabler it probably starts at my Christmas for like Christmas cigarettes I think you need to go to the airport and get those that don't have a tax on I get that big like duffel bag a cigarette

has a handle built in like a lunch pail of yeah yeah so so I think his father's a smoker and and they just have a whole different outlook on it than, like, my dad, who's, like, no cigarettes, no alcohol. He's practically a Mormon. Yeah. Stoned the homosexual. Yo, Taylor. Stoned the homosexual. Yeah, he could.

I really think he should check out the Mormon thing. He might find his bros. Are the Mormons into that? I know the Mormons, you know, the whole joseph smith read the golden tablets in the hat to the guy and when he lost him and tried to duplicate him he had to go to god and make up some more shit you know it's a whole made-up religion and the guy was a con man and if you're a mormon you're just worshiping a complete con man at least mine was so fucking long ago we're not sure if he was a con man or not. Your dude was a con man when

there were other con men running around with briefcases being fucking con men. 150 years ago, your guy was a con man. A liar. I thought it was more recent. I think he died in the 20s. I thought it was in the 1800s. Probably. I don't know.

The mid-1800s. They don't only not drink and not smoke. I don't remember if me and Kyle were talking in private or if I talked about this in the last PK. They have their magic underwear. Yeah, fireproof magic underwear, man. It's not fireproof. Oh, it's not fireproof.

I'm sure that the ones that try it are quick to regret it because it's just underwear. It's just magic, though. Yeah, and then they can't drink what they call strong drink which is a really old-timey way of saying alcohol and coffee and like they don't even have coke if you go to like my girlfriend's one side of her family is like pretty mormon and i live in utah no but uh they, like, going to those, because, like, my family is more Catholic, and so it's like you go there and everybody's just getting hammered on wine,

you know, just doing whatever the fuck they want. Like, oh, I can't wait until Easter. Maybe we'll go to church, huh? Nah, nah. So church is there. There it's like you go there and it's just like a bunch of root beer, and you feel like, I don't know. It's just weird. It's completely different.

What kind of root beer? I don't know. Barks or A&W. As long as I've got barks, I'll fit right in. It looks like Joseph Smith died in 1844. Bring me another one of these. Get me four of those underage brides. I like the polygamy aspect

of that religion. That's pretty interesting. Do you? That's banned. I don't think I like polygamy aspect of that religion. That's pretty interesting. Do you? That's banned. I don't think I like polygamy. I'm pretty sure it's banned by the feds, right? Yeah, I think polygamy would be great. I think having four wives... So here's the thing, though.

I feel like the man in that relationship has a huge amount of responsibility. Traditionally. Go on. But what I want is four capable women who can support my ass. Like, that's what I'd love. That's how it needs to be. You don't want four Mormon wives.

You just want four wives. Like, four Mormon wives is a terrible fucking idea. But four, like, chicks who are into, like, I don't know, some crazy five-way group sex and supporting my ass? That's right up my alley. See, the way I thought of it originally was like, God, it would be so exhausting to, like, be spinning that many plates. Like, oh, I'm managing this one's emotions. Oh, these three are so aggravated because I'm giving this one more attention.

I got to go over there. But the more I thought about it is, like like because they have more direct competition they're going to be vying for my attention more and so if i just ever get like surly and grumpy one day it won't be like a he's not paying attention to me because suzy over there is going to come over and start doing whatever i want to do and then the other three are going to be like that bitch that fucking bitch you you know what she's making him that i'm gonna go do this he's gonna look over here and see me doing this and suddenly he's gonna be a lot happier with me and then it's gonna be a competition the house is gonna be so clean i'm gonna have four dinners a night

it's gonna be top notch i don't know if it's gonna go the way my cousin my cousin was attempting this once he called it the church of scott he's like i'll start my own religion polygamy will be a part of it so i don't get busted. Each of them bitches gonna tattoo my name on a titty. I already got two signed up. I'm like, how many do you want? He's like, no more than five. No more than five. They were just getting weird, you know? Yeah, yeah.

I talked to him the other day. I'm like, well, you know, you could've always went with that whole Church of Scott thing back in the day. He's like, I really should've started that fucking thing. That's a good idea. Church of Scott. Dude, I don't know. Taylor makes a strong point, but that has not been my experience with girls. You would have to search long and hard for that kind of girl. That kind of person.

Yeah. And it's insecure that they would share you. Most of the women I know would be, oh, he's not paying attention to me. Well, this isn't working out. And you have to fix that. You know, like a normal person would probably react to the situation. You've got to find some really self-depreciating individuals, which I'm not saying would be that difficult, especially for Kyle,

but, like, you could probably find some. No, it wouldn't be even that bad. I got a sense he's got a nose for it. You find one that's like, oh, this is bullshit. I'm leaving. I'm not a part of your little five-way relationship. It's be like, I'll organize like a hockey team. It's like, you think you're a first-line center.

You barely got pulled up from the AHL. Get out of here. Get out of here. I've got a harem to pull up from. We're pulling someone up from the Chicago Wolves. You're on the main team now. See how you do. Preliminary tryout.

Tucker, have you played Battlefront? Have I what? Have you played Battlefront? Yes, dude. Very little. I tried to sign into the fucking, like, with EA games, it makes you use your EA account, and I went in there to use my EA account,

and apparently this is a glitch or a problem that's happened to other people because I researched it, and it just has some other fucker's email in there that i don't know and so i can't sign in that's called being hacked yeah it's no your ea account for the 30 in games you have on it like titanfall that's why no i don't even i don't even have the 30 thing i don't know why that would happen oh i just have the free account and the only thing I've used it for is NHL 15. Like, I don't know how it happened. Does it play like Battlefield?

Is it running on the same engine? Is that clunky run thing? No, not at all. I played the campaign a tiny bit. Does it feel slick and smooth like COD? Like, I feel like in COD, I really am in a lot of control. Slick and smooth. So somewhere in between? Yeah.

It's not... I can't play Battlefield games because i feel like i'm a 400 pound drunk man like lumbering around the map which i get is probably more realistic and that's fine but for me not enjoyable for me like i don't want to get motion sickness it's like uh the game i played at e3 thought it would be a complete flop like honest to god i think the last time i was on here, we probably talked about it. Like, I thought it was going to be a real miserable game. But the game engine itself is pretty damn clean.

Like, I would say it's not me getting on Titanfall and being like, holy shit, they made a good game engine. Not saying the game was good, but whatever. But the game itself, Battlefront, is a pretty good game. Like, it feels good. I enjoyed my time playing it. It is audio on PC at ultra everything. Audio and graphically, bar none, is the best game right now.

It is outstanding how good it looks and how good it sounds. But that's because they used the original audio files from Star Wars. So they had access to shit that nobody else is going to have access. But it sounds outstanding. I want to play. But I only want to play if everybody gets the game and plays with me. I don't want to play by myself at all. I already have it.

I'll play it with you. It's not fun. I worry about it. Cause I, what I read is that it's pretty limited unless you buy like the season pass or something. So it's like $110 game or it's 60 bucks and you're really getting very little of it. It, it seems like the point of that game is to sell the DLC.

Like that, that's, it's been become the point of a lot of games. Like, you know, the game is whatever, but the DLC is where the real money is. You know, we're going to sell the dlc like that that's it's been become the point of a lot of games like you know the game is whatever but the dlc is where the real money is you know we're gonna sell that we're gonna put this whole freaking game together for 60 and that'll be break even but you know we'll like throw a map in for very little r&d and they'll sell for just as much i think that it i i don't know because to be honest they gave me a code so i don't know what version I got. I assume I got the all-inclusive version.

Oh, yeah, I could have got a code. But, so I can't comment on, like, knowing if it was not worth it. But if what I got, because I don't have any early unlocks or any of that bullshit that you normally get, right? So I feel like I don't have the highest version. I feel like I don't have the season pass, because I know you can get a gun and I don't have it. have the highest version i feel like i don't have the season pass because i know you can get a gun and i don't have it i feel like if that if what i got was the 60 version every single person is the biggest bitch i've ever heard of because it's shipping with like it's like call of duty levels of game modes maps expansive like different entirely different it's not just like domination

it's like space only battles okay, that's one game, so like one where you're only playing as the super Luke Skywalker shit, like I think that they're, like what for EA getting a lot of shit, this game is actually pretty good, you know, like I was pretty shocked, and I will hate it

PC? Yeah so that might change my shit so I initially watched the videos from the beta and that mission on Hoth, the Hoth map, I guess. How many players are on each team? Because it was difficult to tell. 20.

Are they all human? Is it 20v20 on console? Or 10v10 on console? Don't know anything about console. I know that the Battle of Hoth was like... I made a video about it, because when you get dropped in,

the way the map design is, it's very open. It's one of the few games that I felt like Battlefield, where you feel like you're in a war zone. Like, you get dropped in, and an AT-ST blows up next to you, and it falls down, and you can't run that way, so you go out of the trenches and around, and an X-Wing comes and fucking blows up next to you and it falls down and you can't run that like that way so you go out of the trenches

And around and like an x-wing comes and fucking blows up next to you, and you're like Jesus Christ like it It's it's not like a battle battlefield game in any way except for the Openness of your freedom of choice like you can play as an army if you had 20 friends conceivably, but... I got 20 friends. I'm sure you would probably have a fucking blast. I think that's what we should do. We should get Battlefront, and we should just tweet,

we need, you know, 16 or 17 players or something like that, and get a nice squad of guys and go play. That would be fun. We'd die probably less than Call of Duty. Oh, God, we would have to, right? I would hope so. Call of Duty's been rough lately, man.

It has. I never feel good about myself afterward. No. I go take a shower. I just sit down and cry. Are we washed up? That always ends on a sour note. We have a hard time.

I mean, like I said, we got one KDs or something like that. It's a rough experience. I feel like there was a lot of lag last night. I just want to know if we've become, like if our quote-unquote generation, aka five years removed, has become garbage at the current generation Call of Duty, or if the Call of Duty has changed so much

that it's not the game that we were good at. You know what I mean? I don't know if I'm to blame, or if it's a little bit of both. It's changed a ton, but I think we're also to blame. Do you game as much? I game more, but I'm more on PC now. That's not to say that I couldn't hold my own,

but I'm certainly not Call of Duty 4 summer of ninth grade Tucker anymore, you know, where all I did was play Call of Duty 4, but I game a lot. Yeah get I miss sound whore I miss that so much it's it's just never come to came back like it like it didn't cod for that's a I think an advantage we used to have that we don't like when I I first got into cod and cod for and having a headset made me unusual you know I could hear things and and um it was also a skill that you developed right you don't get a headset and learn to sound at the level that i could on the on your first day

but uh now everyone that one everyone has that skill and two everyone has headsets like they're not uncommon anymore i was beating kids on televisions back in the day now i don't think that's the case it used to be like the biggest thing whenever somebody would ask like what's what can i do to get better like almost everybody unanimously said headset will make you better like that should be your biggest upgrade purchase if you're trying to be better player now i don't think i've ever heard anybody be like well i don't have a headset like i play on my tv monitor like everybody's sitting at their computer with their xbox next to it they're like doing this they're not playing in their living room in the family room like I did. Back in my day.

As a parent, you're like, get the kid out of the family room. I just set up Colin's computer. It doesn't have speakers. I don't want to hear it. It's next to me. I'm working. He's over there with a headset. Yeah. I think it just makes things easier for everybody involved. I still don't really use a headset

ever. Very rarely. I feel don't really use a headset, ever. Like, very rarely. I feel like I would be better at zombies if I could hear them behind me. Definitely so. Last night, you were like, Kyle, they're behind you. And I'm just like, oh, yeah, I know. I'm going to let him hit me once, and then I'm going to run. I remember that.

Woody was serving us well, just doing, like, the 360. You just go to third person and be announcing call-outs for zombies, which is not as helpful as you'd think. It's like, there's nine behind you. Ten. Eleven now. Okay, I was fucking around somewhat. There's one in front. Cthulhu.

Or Cholula. It's more like shoutcasting. I was just. Eight. There's one in front. Cthulhu. Or Cholula. It's more like shoutcasting. I was just into it. And then it was like, I don't know, I'd spectate Kyle or Chiz or Taylor for a bit, and they're not being entertaining. You know what, motherfucker? You just lost your spectate privileges. Don't think I won't go to Chiz if you keep that horse shit up.

What, am I running ads on this? Did something that you thought was boring last night, and you were like, Chiz, I keep that horse shit up. What, am I running ads on this? Yeah. Did something that you thought was boring last night, and you were like, Chiz, I'm out. Taylor, I'm watching you. Yeah, you got to be mowing your people down. You can't just kite all day without getting kills. Yeah. You transitively enjoy zombies more than...

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Use our coupon code. Make them happy. Do we need a whole new topic? Well, let's think. What is there to talk about? Let's discuss this. I have an idea. It's something we don't normally do.

Oh, so here's discuss this. I have an idea. It's something we don't normally do. Oh, so here's the concept. It would be kind of a whose line is it anyway thing, except not a whole skit. I will be the judge. Like, whose line is it anyway? Your only objective is to entertain. Get points. Yeah, get points that mean nothing. Just be funny and someone will

win and get nothing for it. The topic, I'll blast out the topic. We'll give you, I don't know, 60 seconds to think about it. And then you'll give me your list of responses. Are you guys ready? Proceed. Do you have some place to take note of your ideas? Will that be necessary?

Unless you can remember them. For me, I would think of four things and remember one. Here, give us the things so we can get a feel for what this is. Okay. Give me an example of what we're going for. If the inventor of the walkie-talkie named other things... I already read the Reddit thread. Okay, well then try not

to steal too many of them. If the inventor of the walkie-talkie named other things, what would he name them? Right? So the Reddit thread... Let me go through this. The top rated answer was fabulous. He would name, oh, the top rated answer changed. A pregnancy test is a maybe baby.

No, the one. The other one I like so much was the Grand Theft Auto would be steely wheelie automobily. And socks would be calledely Wheelie Automobily. And Socks would be called Feedy Heedies. Walkie Talkies, you walk and you use them to talk. Feedy Heedies. I get it. Yeah, so like Steely Wheelie.

It's like a super literal rhyming slash alliteration thing. Yeah, so if the Walkie Talkie were to name a car or something like that, what would he name it? I'm not going to be... I'm really struggling with this because I also have a thread. You have one? That's okay. You know, if this doesn't work out, I'll never do it again. You've got to try new things

to see if new things are good. I'm going to call out 60 seconds. We'll see where it goes. Alright, let's do it. It's okay again free time here I haven't even started Clock stopwatch 60 seconds this looks totally unreadable There we go, I'm not gonna get any good ones my pen isn't even working Oh God

once my pen isn't even working. Oh, God. No dice. I'll have to type it. Oh, God. I can't think of anything. What would you call a dildo? Uh. What would you call a condom slippery cock dildo would be like

a Stucky Bucky yeah that's good I think we should actually just be brainstorming this yeah we should probably come up with is a thing you used to pick up dog poop is a poopy scoopy. Like, I don't really have anything else. Well, we already call it a pooper scooper. Yeah, so, I mean, I didn't even do anything. All right, and that's 60 seconds. Congratulations, Tucker.

You have a runaway victory. I just changed an already walkie-talkie into another one. Pooper scooper. Pooper scoop. Poopy scoop. I would call a walkie-talkie into another one. Pooper scooper. Poopy scoopy. I would call a walkie-talkie a walker-talker. Alright, alright. Not every idea is a good one. You live and

you learn. That one was just tough, though. It was hard. The internet, kitties and titties. Napkins would be swipey-wipeys. I was dying to these earlier, though. Forks would be stabby grabbies.

Condoms would be weenie beanies. That's a good one, actually. That's pretty good. Yeah, yeah. Also, not the correct way. Please roll the condom down. Don't leave it as a beanie. Don't just, like, pop it over the head.

Lost it again! Lube? Lube would be slicky dicky. roll the condom down, don't leave it as a beanie. Just like pop it over the head and you're like, I'm dead. Lube? Lube would be slicky dicky. A fart would be a booty tootie. Oh, here. Underwear would be tighty whitey. Alright, but that's what in underwear I know. Oh, you should be throwing

stones for that. A cruise missile is a zoomy boomy. Anyway. I saw some video. I know. Oh, you should be throwing stones for that. A cruise missile is a zoomie-boomie. Anyway. I saw some video. Go ahead. You know what? I should stop. Carry on. I saw a Russian cruise, a video of a Russian cruise missile flying overhead, and that was incredibly intimidating. They

just hear it coming, and they look up, and they're like, I don't know how big those things are, but I think they're like 10 or 20 feet long, and it's just and you just see it, and it just keeps going. It's going somewhere to blow something up. Where was it filmed from? In Syria, from the ground. The desert.

They film it as it flies over their head, and it's just like... Like I said, it's like a big 20-foot-long pipe with wings flying through the air on its way to go kill some shit. I saw a... I forget who he was. He might have been involved in the Paris thing. You never know, because they always act like this is the greatest guy to kill. You saw he was doing an interview

and then he got hit with a cruise missile. He wasn't even ISIS. Someone said he wasn't ISIS and then he edited it and said he stands corrected. It turned out he was ISIS. I don't know. Somebody's doing an interview and gets cruise missiled live on TV? Yeah. A mortar and gets cruise-missiled live on TV?

Yeah. A mortar hit him. Oh, right, right, right. Somebody gets blown up live on TV? Yeah. Well, it wasn't live on TV. I saw it on the internet. But he was doing an interview, and it appeared to kill this guy.

It really did. And it didn't blow up the camera. He was like, we've taken this position. It was very hard, but it was worth it. And now this position is ours. And you're,

boom! And it's just the whole thing goes black. Did you watch the long version no can i get a link i want to and i'm feeling a little let's watch people die every time i come on i see somebody die or somebody snort come like this is a thing there should be music for different segments mic talk should have like some music come little jingles you play that then and then my talk is on here we go once again Woody will tell the same my story and how long will it be? Believe it or not my talks on and then we start talking about microphones, but we should have one this

Watch people die time to watch people die We should have one. This would be watch people die. Time to watch people die. Dude, I would love that. I would just roll it. That would be awesome. I want that shitty Kyle rendition to the same semi-tune for every one of them.

Well, you know, that's already a song. Yeah, I know the same one. Kyle, can you find it? I really like watching these ISIS people die at unexpected times. Like, they're already thinking ahead to their evening of sand sandwiches and goat fucking. Boom! Fucking dead. Call them Daesh. Dude, I have a thing I want to do.

Yeah, they get really pissed off about it. Oh, shit. It's not exactly... How about call them? Aish? It's D-A-E-S-H. What is it? It's like the... Let me look at...

ISIS is what they want to be called. Here it is. I can't pronounce the word. It's called the... It's a phonetic term for them, like called for like madmen, manic madmen and they just they fucking hate it because it apparently belittles them it's called it's daesh

right yeah I thought it was daesh or daesh daesh works for me but what I particularly like is daesh bag looks like a Skyrim characters's name it does it does you were talking about not being able to convince people to do things in Fallout I ran into this guy and he had this big fucking Rottweiler behind him and he was like you want to buy a dog? oh yeah this guy

yeah I'll buy a big fucking badass dog this looks better than the original German Shepherd this is a junkyard dog he's got a big chain around his neck. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, I want to buy it. And he tells me this whole story about how it really hurts him every time he has to sell one, but then he gets a new puppy and starts all over again. But he trains dogs

and that's his thing. And I try to convince him. I was like, yeah, yeah, sell me the dog. And he's like, you know what? On second thought, I don't think you and my dog would be a good fit and he just walks away and you can't steal a dog the dog will attack you if you kill his master so well I've lost out on the dog I guess I have to find you again

somewhere out here in the wilderness when my charisma is higher but he spawns in the same spot he's actually pretty close to yours it's by the mine spawned by the Museum of Witchcraft like way all the way over there yeah maybe he just wanders maybe he doesn't i thought he spawned by the i don't know that's crazy but yeah i did this guy oh sorry go ahead no i just walked up to him he was like you want to buy a dog and i like i like bags curious and i was just like i because i had dog meat and i was like i mean i have a dog he's like yeah, I raise dogs and I sell them, but I can't bring myself to sell them, so I start to cry.

But then I sell them and I get a new dog, and it starts the process over again. I'm like, congrats, bud. This guy just wanders around the wilderness, asks people if they want a dog who already have a dog, so they say no. So then he has an excuse to go on his diatribe of his story. Well, you know, my dad died when I was little,

and I didn't really have any companions. I got this dog. Ever since then, it's been one after another, man. It's the only way I can keep myself straight in this world. You sure you don't want it? Fine, I'll take your dog. You know what? Actually, I'm going to go talk to that guy who's got a dog over there.

That's how it was. I wish he had a pikey accent. You like dags? You like dags? Yeah, I like dags. Yeah, we like dogsags you like dags yeah i like dags yeah yeah we like dogs yeah that's one of my favorite movies i think i i really like that snatch is great yeah yeah i didn't like lock stock and two smoking barrels nearly as much snatch is definitely my favorite

and i've a lot of guy richie's films i didn't like all that much it was i got to meet him that time he was the one that directed that fucking Call of Duty commercial. But Snatch is definitely my favorite. Yeah, Snatch. I liked Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels. Like, what the hell is that? He's like, it's me brin gun. He's got that giant gun buried on a tripod.

He's assembling it inside the building. They're shooting him with a pellet rifle. I like Guy Ritchie's movies for the most part just because I like that weird film style. British gangster stuff is just bizarre. It's kind of a world that I'm not

familiar with and it seems to have its own mythos and backstory that I don't really know about. I see Italian mobsters in movies and I i'm like i know where this is headed i get the hierarchy how it works and everything but uh with the british mobster movies there's there's always like multiple gangsters and kingpins and stuff and i don't know i like how i like the language the the vernacular of the british gangsters i'm ready to watch the video die oh yeah dude i've come through with this video so I've seen it twice And I want you to also

Oh you know it's good when it's on live Cue it up at zero It's kind of difficult because it doesn't stop right away You can just drag and hold it at zero Time to watch people die Don't feel bad Don't cry I need to turn my volume up

That's actually a pretty good jingle I had to stop interrupting you so we That's actually a pretty good jingle. I had to stop interrupting you so we can get the people to make these clips for us. Are we ready? Yeah, I'm ready. Alright, so this is the 14 second version. 3, 2, 1, play. Oh shit! Super mutant! and that's it now there's more dude he just you i mean i like that's not funny but it's just like it's funny all right just like i enjoy his he looks up and then he he like ducks from God a missile like God forbid. Oh, it's on YouTube check this one out

It's surprisingly YouTube beats live leak in this case. All right, so Q up at zero is everyone ready to watch bad people die bombs are falling from the sky All right ready set play Alright, ready, set, play. Now watch. Shut that person up. They are really going at it with that yell. So they really didn't do a very good job. I can hear somebody moaning. Moaning, yeah. Can you pick up the camera?

I think the cameraman's dead. The cameraman doesn't look like he's gonna keep filming. So that's... I just feel like... Oh, what's this next video? Yeah, is this the Circle air strike film by Icey? Yeah, with the dove. Yeah, let's just keep, let's let it play. This guy's got like a PKM or something fuckin'... Let it roll! Do you wanna watch the next one? It's a minute long. I was gonna talk about that one. That's a big ol' gun though. Dude, the audio on that

that's a pk not that i'm daily explosive videos this is a channel somebody uploads daily videos of isis dying i i dude that audio it added a new realism to what war is like not that i'd never seen anything like it but all right are we watching this this next one? I mean, it's just like a big... No, you don't get anything. Just machine gun fire with no enemies in sight. Oh, okay. Set some mannequins up. Some watermelon something out there.

Yeah, right? Learn from the best. Like they have watermelons. Dude! You don't think so? No, I don't think... I think the watermelon market is pretty dry Those guys stink they look like they smell bad Air drop Purell on them or something like you know we'll fight you we're getting real goddamn tired Let's go back to World War two propaganda where we drop extra large condoms labeled medium on their tits.

You know, like, let's just do that. Or, like, how to have sex with an actual woman pamphlets and stuff like that. Did we do that? Did we drop, like, extra large condoms labeled medium? Be sure. Extra large condoms. That's just a funny trolling thing to do. That's great.

Right? I hope we did that to the Japanese because that would really blow their minds. Oh, I watched AO. Oh, the U.S. did that to the Soviets. Yeah. Really? Wow. That's funny. We, oh, so this guy, I watched a documentary.

I can't remember what it was called. It was on Netflix. And he proposed to his girlfriend at a basketball game. And it was like an NBA game. It was like this big thing. And she said no. In front of everybody, she said no. Good for her.

Did she run off too? Yeah, I think she was a little bearish. Didn't want to be in front of everyone. No one likes the woman who says no in front of a crowd. No one likes the man who asked in front of a crowd. What a douche. I was headed there. You can ask in front of a crowd,

but you better goddamn well know the answer. Right? I knew what the answer was when I proposed. That's, I think, a good rule in general. You guys went to all those pre-marriage classes and everything. You were nailed down rock solid. We're just waiting on the moment. We actually did that when we were engaged.

But we had essentially talked about it. There was no question. She would nag me. When are you going to marry me? When are you going to marry me? When are you going to marry me? I can't believe you still married her. I needed that.

It made me feel good to know that I was not at risk. That would infuriate me. Everybody's different. know we were dating like three years at the time and it was known and whatever don't i i think you should know one before you propose but back on topic this guy he um he he proposed to her and she said no and it turned out that she said no because his penis was too small and that was the the core of it and is that really how do you confirm that did he say that maybe he was just trying to make face up because he just got turned down in front of thousands guys it's not because i'm a bad guy no it's like look at how much of a bitch she is it's it's just oh my god it's like a acorn just pressed into the bottom of your abdomen.

So he went to his past girlfriends, and he's like, these are the people that would know, right? For real. And he's like, you know, am I small? And they're like. Oh, bad face. It's not tiny. It's not a micropenis and and uh she's like one to ten and she's like three four she said four i think another one might have said three i'm not sure

what's fucked up is a one to ten scale and your dick is basically just inch rating like you know not necessarily no there could be the girth girth uh curvature y'aw. You're right. You say yaw. I don't know if you know how to actually calculate the size of your penis. A gentleman named Randy taught me not too long ago. But there's a very complex equation. I wish I knew it off the top of my head. I just get hard and dunk it into, like, a graduated cylinder and measure the displacement. Yeah, the displacement of my dick.

That's the way to do it, Woody. That's not the way to do it. How much caps does your flaccid dick have? I like that you guys don't know what I'm talking about. You're about to just get an objective score on my dick. So then he went to a urologist. This was like a world famous urologist or something.

They didn't film it, but he had his lab mic on. So she's like, I'm just going to pull it right now and she pulls it and she's like this is about the erect size right and um then you could hear her say like she measured it and she's like all right you are small normal and uh so he started investigating like penis pumps different surgeries that were available how is this documented what the fuck is this? Yeah? I do this dude He eventually went to the place of the smallest penises in the world which turns out to be Korea And they like the Korean people were like some Korean women if you want to feel better about yourself go to a Korean spa

So I have it here. I can tell you how to accurately measure the size of your penis. I'm ready. This is the adjusted penis size system. So you want to multiply its length times diameter plus weight over girth divided by the angle of the tip squared. Now, as an example... What the fuck? Can we just link this page? As an example, Randy has a penis that is 4.4 inches in length. Its angle is 32 degrees.

Its flaccid girth is 1 inch in diameter. His balls are 7 centimeters from the base. Randy notes that the drift of his penis is 4 centimeters to the right, and its dead weight is 4.5 kg. Therefore, Randy's adjusted penis size, 6.3 inches. You've been doing it wrong the whole time. I died. If you need to go through all that mathematics to make yourself feel better about your tiny

dick, like sure. I'm 14 inches using this scale. It's shocking. Shocking. I'm a cool yard. It's my yaw. I have a lot of yaw. I've got a lot of yaw.

I think what you want to do is not flex your stomach. Push the tape measure in as far as possible And if you could get it in there you could get another two and a half inches It's okay What's this cow was doing a sound thing he just recited was from the South Park adjusted penis size episode where they're making Randy Randy has that whole system and he demonstrates what I just explained to the classroom of fourth graders

with a chalkboard and pointing and doing the equation. Yeah, that's hilarious. Well, that's embarrassing for the guy. I guess going to South Korea is a good idea. He went to... It turned out there's literally different condom sizes based on where in the world they ship.

I guess I had heard that before, but I think the smallest went to Asia. Of course, yeah. We all know who's got big dicks and who's got little dicks. Yeah, and then America had like the medium size, and Africans actually got bigger condoms.

I'm pretty sure there's pretty, it's like not a shocking thing. That's why age is a problem. You're not wrong. Yeah, nobody wears condoms in Africa. That reminds me of Charlie Sheen. He's got... You know, he's staying positive.

Well, isn't it... Isn't it like... He's not like full-bl like Magic Johnson levels of AIDS, but he's got like, he's got, he's HIV positive, he doesn't have AIDS. He's like got it in him, but it's not like adverse, it's just he's transmittable. Are you sure? No. Dammit. Are you sure?

Am I sure what? That he doesn't have AIDS? That he's sick. Are you sure he's sick? Taylor, are you sure am i sure what that he doesn't have any that he's sick are you sure he's sick taylor are you sure he's sick with with the god damn it you're supposed to say i'm hiv positive oh no well you see we referenced south park last time i think that we should we should push past it's like the third time it's come up yeah Yeah, that sucks for him, but are you surprised? I mean, not in hindsight. Dude, right around that time he was bi-winning and the tiger blood and all that crazy shit, that's when he got his diagnosis. He's known for a while.

Oh, maybe that's a product of his diagnosis, not the reason for it. that's a product of his diagnosis not the reason for it that's a weird time to go on a big sex right after you find about you're not yeah true i don't know about that uh it but i mean he was doing heavy drugs he was uh they sort of he's doing a tour that kind of was failed ish like he didn't really deliver on all those dates um tends to happen when you make a tour based off of your drunk and drug binges so and your tour business model yeah sounds like a tweet yeah everybody's like those tweets are great you should take that shit on the road i don't think it's gonna translate oh trust me it will you'll get a chair and fucking tight like no i don't think it's absurd he um but yeah i don't know he's hiv positive i

just it seemed like the whole world envied his like carefree party lifestyle and you know in hindsight dude you don't want to be charlie sheen i don't think i don't know banging seven gram rocks even now are you like like people listening to this and leave a comment on this one too would you swap places with charlie sheen yes yeah he was the single highest paid like person and despite his meltdown i can guarantee you could go up to somebody and be like yo you want to meet charlie sheen they're gonna be like yeah dude he seems like a cool guy like he is a horrible probably like not a good human being and i bet i bet hang out with Martin Sheen if he wanted to. They probably know each other somehow. Yeah, you get to hang out with Martin

fucking Sheen. He knows Emilio Estevez. You get to hang out with some cool people. Not only that, he's got enough money like Magic Johnson that he's just going to keep this HIV on a low simmer for the rest of his life. It'll be undetectable you

know grease sucks but he can live with it i i don't i think it would be worse to have arthritis than hiv right now if you have money probably probably just keep using condoms fine you know it shouldn't be that hard to find partners who are cool with that i know what you're getting at it's probably worse to have a chronic illness than HIV. Maybe find some hot chick with AIDS. There's tons of options. That's not how it works. That's super AIDS.

If you just think it through, though. Kyle's thing is burning in my head. What? Multiple sclerosis, cystic fibrosis. I was going to say, no, that's what i said if you have an actual yeah um cerebral palsy parkinson's disease yeah that's another level that's a different level okay we'll take out cp but like parkinson's disease is that what michael j fox has parkinson's yeah parkinson's like i think all of it used to be hiv was the worst one you know you can live with

the like the drug suppressants and all that stuff. I'm not a doctor, but I would agree that if you have Parkinson's, you're probably worse off than having AIDS if you have the money to pay for all the drugs that you're going to need. We've seen it in practice. Michael Johnson has the money. He's doing great. He's on fucking TV looking good.

Michael J. Fox is shaky as hell, he looks awful. And Mike Tyson. Oh, I can't remember what I was watching but there was something where like... What does Mike Tyson have? Muhammad Ali, you're thinking. Oh, wow, that's so fucking horrible. I get close enough. But yeah.

But, it's... We're used to that around here. Yeah, get on my level. I know. But Michael J. Fox you've got over there just so shaky. I can't remember what comedy show it was, but they were like, Michael, will you hand me a beer? And the guy goes, and he's all over.

He's like, would you shake this up? And he's like, what do you think? Poor guy. He really talked about his diagnosis a lot when he did an interview on the Stern Show. And it was interesting to hear him talk about that. How he reacted when he first got the diagnosis at 29, I think. And they told him, they're like, oh, but don't worry. You got 10 more good years left.

And it's like, I'm 29. Fuck. Parkinson's is not a cool... One of my good friends from back home, his dad has it. And growing up you get to see it progress it's like not a fun thing to like watch somebody go through because it's not like it's kind of like i guess physical alzheimer's to an extent like you the person is still there but like for them it's really frustrating that they can't do the day-to-day

things that they were doing two years ago. Like, maybe they're legitimately having trouble cutting this sandwich in half. Like, that's fucked. You know, and they know they can do it. They know how to do it, but their body just won't let them. I mean, it's just like, it's, like, Parkinson's is, like, up there in terms of just, like, one of the more debilitating ones where you can't. He was talking about his sex life. And Stern was like, well, I think maybe that would help a little bit.

Like, you're like a vibrating sex partner You had a good sense of humor about the whole thing, but I guess you have to I think he's wired that way I've seen those gyroscopic spoons. You know where at first the person is like cocoa pebbles everywhere, and then they're like oh That's cool. Yeah, those are those are cool yeah that's a kickstarter right i think there might have been a kickstarter uh for a product like that but the first time i saw and i recently saw a gift that reminded me of it it was like hooked up with wires and everything it was like really rudimentary at first but now i think it's like a standalone unit that looks more like an electric toothbrush yeah they have like one of those just to see just to try and fake it

out like i'm just having some cereal try and shake it out it's like that it's like holding a steadicam have you ever done that and like tried to fuck it up like it's hard no matter how much you're like it's still like just hanging out i i shot a gyroscopically stabilized like marksman platform thing basically you put a rifle in it and then you got a remote control and then the vehicle can be going over down a bumpy road but the gun stays perfectly level so you can shoot rifle in it, and then you got a remote control, and then the vehicle can be going over down a bumpy road, but the gun stays perfectly level so you can shoot. And it was amazing to see that thing in action because you could test it really simply. You just get somebody on the back of the ATV to like start pushing up and down,

and you know, engage in the shocks and shake the thing, and the barrel would just sit still. And it's just like, wow, that's cool. So anything like that... Yeah, oh yeah, I put a... I got a video of it up it's it's pretty cool the thing like we're on the move the targets like 250 yards or maybe 300 yards across a lake and as we're moving you see my crosshairs and the video has the crosshairs in it and you just see the crosshair drifting and pow ping and it's like fuck yeah this thing's awesome it's like a video game gyroscopes are fucking awesome they have that new kind of like GoPro replacement where it's just like on a stick it's like 300 bucks and it's 4k and all that

stuff and you just see people like on the back of an atv in the dunes and it's just perfect and you're like oh that's so satisfying to me watching somebody go over bumps and it just stands still i like the original one where they just mounted the camera to the chicken's head. That seemed much... That sounds like a video I need to see. Nature's gyroscope. He's got the chicken, and no matter how you move the chicken, its head kind of stays in the same spot. It was a joke, but it's really funny.

Owls are good like that, too. Dude, did you guys see Ronda Rousey Lost? I'm sure everyone saw that. Yeah, it's real funny. Real funny. Real funny. Something like that hurt. She looked like a fool that whole fight. Even before the fight, she looked like a fool.

I'm not a big... I'm a new convert into UFC, as in rewind six months, and I was like, yeah, I'll watch a fight with McGregor or something like that. But that fight, I was like, oh, this this is cool like ronda definitely a fan favorite and then she like started out with all this like bm like you know i guess getting in her face during way in and bm bad manners like oh okay it means something bowel movement

no but it was just like you know, she made an Instagram video. It was like, fake ass preacher ass bitch. I'm going to enjoy the ass whooping I give to you, you fake ass hoe. And it's like her getting in her face and then shoving her, and the girl shoves her back. And she's like, wow, I see a fake ass bitch. So what happened is when Holly Holm does a stare down, she puts her arm out kind of to the side like she's going to punch you, I guess. And that's just her stare down pose. And kind of the way most stare downs work is people strike whatever pose they want, you know, and they just don't touch. And Rhonda's like, I noticed she likes

to have her arm to the outside. And I thought, well, you can't have that. I'm going to put my arm to the outside. And she did. Holly did nothing. So then ronda took with now they had the outer arm and like wanted to pull her arm down and she pulled holly's fist across ronda's face if that makes any sense so now she's made ronda hit her exactly now i've watched this 150 times that's totally what happened right like i on the gif the replay i'm like yeah like, yes. Sitting there feverishly. Oh, God. CSI. Back and to the left. Back and to the left. Yeah.

So, like, I say with complete certainty that's exactly what happened. Ronda took her arm, pulled it, made Ronda punch her in the face with Holly's hand. She didn't need any help with that once they got in the ring. She seemed to do all the punching right on her own. She didn't need R help with that once they got in the ring. She seemed to do all the punching right on her own. She didn't need Rhonda's help at all. That gif where she dodges Rhonda's punch because a boxer can see Rhonda's punches coming from a mile away, it appears. And the footwork. So Holly Holm is a southpaw.

And when you fight a southpaw, you have to have your lead toe on the outside of their lead toe, right? The way that it worked, Rhonda never seemed to have the right foot positioning. And that meant that Holly, I'm trying to picture this right, as a southpaw was sat there loaded up on the left right at Ronda, whereas Ronda was pretty much facing an imaginary target offline. And all she could do is take like wild swings or like hit almost behind her. Holly was never in a good spot for ronda to hit her and that time like if you watch the big hit thing ronda was going

on a furious attack when holly was really off to the side she just didn't seem to have the footwork right i'm sure rhonda knows this it's it's like it's easy to be smart when you're watching from exactly yeah i saw that shadow box where her wrist is... This isn't even the best one. She's shadow boxing. And again, I am not an expert, but looking at this, she punches and her wrist is literally flopping around at the end of her punch. And her head is dead straight.

It looks like a four-year-old is punching. It's like this. The criticism of this gif is typically that she's not twisting at her hips, right? Like an arm punch is one in which you just extend your arm and hit, and a better punch is one where you come across, right? Not only do you hit further because your shoulder's twisted out, but you hit harder. But this is a – look, Ronda's got better boxing than this gif shows off. I'm sure, but that's what a lot of people were pointing out previous to the fight I was reading up and everybody's like look this girl comes from a camp where it's all about boxing

and she doesn't you know she's not relying on one you know on one like narrow uh one narrow method of victory so ronda's gonna get her ass beat when she doesn't move her head kind of deal what it looks like to me is so women's mma has less talent in it right yeah it does and um i feel like they're following the footsteps of men's mma but you know at a faster pace if you looked at men's mma in the 90s the dominant people were grapplers you know like hoist gracie he couldn't punch at all like if you saw his striking by today's standards it would be embarrassingly bad he'd He'd never make it into the UFC and he was the champion. People just didn't know how to deal with his level of grappling. I feel like that's what Ronda had. And if you look at the champs now, they all have

great striking. You know, Chris Weidman has great striking. You know, he beat Anderson Silva, but he didn't beat him on the ground. Shit, I'm coming up blank. Jose Aldo has great striking. Black Belt and Jits, but he really wins via striking. Conor McGregor, the interim champ, totally striking based. I feel like I could go down the list. TJ Dillashaw is totally striking list. Dominic Cruz is totally striking based.

John Jones, totally striking based. Cormier? I don't know. He didn't take down Anthony Johnson. This must get boring, but all these guys nowadays are striking-based, and you don't see that anymore. I think it's just like I said the other week before she even lost, is that she only looked good.

One of her opponents literally was like, I was reading about it online. She was apparently someone with an accountant who started MMA to lose weight. Three years ago. What? It was like three or four years ago there's nobody who could make it in the male ufc which has been going for so long that they've already passed this phase where the guy's like you know what throwing away the accounting typing fingerless gloves and getting into a weekend training camp and i'm gonna you know i could do this like no you'd get destroyed like but there's still this women's mma is still in its infancy and so she's almost like a babe ruth of athletes

we're just beating the shit out of people who are not that qualified and now when someone who's a legit champ comes in and challenges her it's like wow we shouldn't be that surprised like this is her first real stiff competition it's like it's like the entrance of any sport into an area where it's not dominant so like in the u.s with soccer like it's it's starting from when you're young like nobody nobody five years ago was like growing up thinking like i'm gonna be a ufc champ a ufc women's heavyweight you know any champion of any women's ufc. That's not a viable career path, so nobody started early. You might start early and say, I want to be great at kickboxing, great at boxing.

That's all cool, but very few people, there's not that talent pool to pull from. Same with soccer. Ten years ago, there wasn't a talent pool of kids going, I want to be a soccer player for the USA. That wasn't a thing. So UFC's doing it quickly, but they still have to pull from the people that are like, I got time on my hands

to spend five years hiatus and just beat some shit out of people. That's what it is. I think you're right for the girls. For the guys. At this point, like, Rory McDonald grew up idolizing, you know, whatever. Wanderlei Silver. It's way different.

But for the women, you're right. These people just got into it and you know some of them have skills like ronda with the judo that translated well but um man so i ronda's hard to like uh you guys seem to be following this but if you don't follow it she's just mean to people a lot of her act isn't together you saw her on the ultimate Fighter and she came off terrible. She's catty. She comes out to I don't care about my reputation because she gets so much hate online. It's like

I was saying, in the winner's locker room, there's never any personality conflicts. Everything was going fine. Now that she's not champ anymore and she got beat bad you know people they're like oh instant rematch instant rematch a lot of people are like you know what you don't want that once you beat some other girl you can handle you if you fight holly again

you'll lose worse like this isn't going to go your way so um i'd like for her to get her ass beat again solely because it would make a mix-up in the sport that would make people like i know why like she was like the head figure where people were getting interested in women's ufc solely because around rousey but i like the fact that there were so many bandwagon fans myself included like i was i enjoyed the fights that she was in because they were so explosively fast it was like cool 15 seconds like i'm i'm not paying for it i'm watching some illegal stream i'll say it right now like i didn't spend money on this so I have no dog in the fight. But, like, I'd love to see her get her ass beat again.

So everybody going, you know, who is still left on the, like, oh, maybe it was a bad day train can be like, okay, I admit it. I'm a fan of the sport, not of this one person anymore. Like, I just want to see better fighters beat each other up. You know, kind of progress the sport instead of stagnate on. I like Ronda Rousey. Kind of like how Call of Duty eSports is watch I want to watch this video I want to watch this I've watched okay four times already it's fun hang on let me let me do my intro to this. Time to watch people die.

Don't feel bad, they're bad guys. Time to watch people die. Bombs are falling from the sky. Alright, here we go. Alright, call out the play. 3, 2, 1, play. play. This is the same yellow thing. Look at how high

that thing gets! How satisfying is that? And then wait, they zoom in. It's fucking awesome. When you link this, I saw that thing go flying. I'm like, there's no way the car is getting 300 feet in the air. Holy shit.

And then it blows. That's super satisfying. That's great. Launched his vehicle hundreds of feet in the air and then exploded. And then this next video is not as satisfying, but you get a much closer look. Alright, do the countdown again. Do I? It's the... Oh, I see. My mistake. I'm ready.

Three, two, one, play. What is it with everybody not recording in any fucking webcam? Why? Oh, they're shooting out the side. Oh, that's sick. Why is he so close? What is he shooting with?

It's a really long gun. A very heavy weapon. I don't know. Some sort of... Oh, man. Man, you're dead. They're all dead. La, la, la, la, la, la, la.

I guess he was a friend. That's why he was filming it next video that flows into that's incredible incredible all right oh gosh I get really frustrated with people who only use two exclamation points well this one's 15 minutes long so I would just oh I think I've seen this the wife is up there in the top uh wait oh you guys, I thought we were going to call out the play. I'm queued up at zero. Same. Three, two, one, play.

We've got enemy fighters in sight. They're all... This is going to be a mess. Or a goat. Did you call that the wife, the dog? I said the wife is coming. I mean, this is Call of Duty right here if you want Call of Duty. This is it. Yeah. Engage. Uh oh. Look at him running. Whenever I watch these things I understand how professional the military is. At least the airborne guys like. The comms are outstanding. They check it out out they tell like it hey where are we

on here I wonder if they can hear them and that's why they're running like that I don't think so no they're very far away these guys these guys are way up in the sky right I'm not necessarily high up but pretty far away and oh holy shit it comes the cannon. That's so large, it sounds like a machine gun. It is a machine gun. Yeah, but what are those grounds? It's like a machine gun that shoots missiles or something. Yeah, that's insane.

The splash damage is crazy. They miss. This guy doesn't stand a chance. Look at him. Look at him crawl. That's a 30 millimeter that they're shooting at that guy with. Holy fuck. I'm pretty sure it is anyway.

That's when you realize the sheer gravity of having an AC-130, or I guess it's a helicopter, but having something that caliber. Look at these dudes. They guess it's a helicopter. But like having something that powerful. Look at these dudes. They don't stand a chance. He's laying there trying to be dead. They don't care. No one needs to accomplish his goal now.

Look at all those splatters. I mean, I don't have another word. That's outstanding. The chunks of people. That's outstanding. The chunks of people? That's great stuff. They might be bullets.

Those hot spots. Those are chunks of people. Is that just like a spleen cooling off? Yeah. I'm just saying, like, the sheer power of that is really outstanding. I think what you want to do is hide under the donkey. The donkey didn't care. No. Yeah, they didn't run. That's kind of weird. Not again. They're leaving this dude. That guy is dead.

He's wiggling a little. He's wiggling. Do you think he's gonna be okay Kyle? Yeah, I'm sure they're gonna land and take care of him. They are really slowly getting- Oh my god. That one hit him! How much money was wasted to kill that one individual right there? It's not that much. This shit is- it's not that expensive. I bet it's like 20 bucks a round. Oh really? I don't know what they're paying.

Oh, that's like a hundred- yeah, that's- okay. Yeah, we're just spending a few grand. Like, this isn't a big deal. Of course you gotta fly. Oh, there's more Women wait is that one carrying something on the left side? Oh, that's a kid. I Think you said something about children. It's a wash your fire. Yeah, I don't think it's a terrorist Yeah, they said yeah, they were definitely carrying Well, that was great I really enjoyed that yeah that was great. I really enjoyed that. Yeah, that was, uh, totally, I'm just, I'm gonna finish the rest of this. Oh, that guy's got a gun.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah, they got guns. Oh, that's an RPG right there. Yeah, he's got an RPG. Why is he so leisurely? He's putting it down. Or maybe a mortar. I think it's a mortar.

Yeah, those are mortars. They're so leisurely. They don't know they're being watched. They don't know where this is coming from, do they? Uh-uh. Oh, that was a good hit. Oh my god. Good hit, good hit. How is coming from do they? Uh uh. Oh that was a good hit! Good hit! Good hit! How is that guy standing up?

He doesn't know where it's coming from! The other guy, how is he still up though? The other dude's in peace. You know it's night time, like they don't realize they're going. I feel like I'd go inside the building. Oh he's putting his hands up. No dude, we just saw you with the RPG. I'm gonna, I would go hide under a goat. Run, goat!

I'd hide under you, too. Or maybe in the tent. No! Rip goat! I don't see any heat signatures inside the tent. Yeah, that's actually a good notice. Probably because they didn't make it back to the tent. They were right outside it.

Like, either they're not in there or you can't tell. Just what... All right, so what would you do? Let's say the tables are turned. Maybe for whatever reason, you're a good dude. You're in this position. There's really nothing you're doing to get out alive. Like, you're dead.

Well, I think... In this circumstance? What I'm doing is I'm managing my heat signature. Do I have blankets? Do I have a tent? Do I have some way to appear invisible to this thing? So you're going to pull an Arnold Schwarzenegger, get the mud, cover up with it. Like the Preppiner.

Yeah, that was a training film for 2015 Warfare. Begin covering myself in the sand and then just pretend to be dead. Yeah, I guess that's the only way to do it. That was wonderful. I always like these videos. I sit and watch them for hours sometimes. I like the AC-130 footage. I like the Apache gunship footage.

All the ground fighting is poorly filmed, and understandably so. If someone's shooting at you, you're not going to be getting the best angles, but this stuff is great. Yeah, the ground footage. I saw some pretty good ground fighting, and like you said, it can only be so good.

You're hiding. Exactly. You're hiding in cover, and they're hiding in cover, and if you could see the target well, they'd be shot. They'd be dead already. You know, they did.

They're only, what's neat is it captures the chaos, right? You know, they're, they're yelling to each other. They're coordinating and they're like, there's two bogeys,

bogeys. I don't know. There's two guys over there. There's one guy over there. Oh, I stopped it. What's the time stamp? I'm going to go back to watch.

I'll go back to the bump. Five minutes and 20 seconds the bump oh five minutes and 20 seconds wait five minutes and 20 seconds yeah if you start the link oh my god i can open up that's what i did i went to oh wow i don't think that those guys are gonna make it no let's watch it like all right so i'm at 5 16 people will Oh yeah, there's three of them in there. Holy shit! They shot the bomb. That was nice. Oh, and you can really see how far they're out when they zoom out,

and you can see, like, the valleys and shit. Yeah, there's just a hotspot where the fire was. Like, it's... I love that the donkeys are just fucking hanging out. I wonder what other militaries have. Like, I see this and I think, oh my god, Americans can kill people with such impunity. Like, we just fly around like it's an easy video game. You know, pop, pop, pop.

This level wouldn't even be any fun, Cod, because you'd just mow right through. You'd be bored almost. You'd just kill 300 people and you're just like, right through. You'd be bored almost. You'd just be killed 300 people and you're just like, well, okay. China and Russia have the same stuff. All the major countries have this stuff. Sometimes I incorrectly think

that our technology advantage is so huge. Russia was firing cruise missiles. France was dropping bombs. I'm looking at those missiles and those, especially the bombers and i'm like dude that's i mean to my eye it looks on par with our stuff i don't know how big the gap is so is it like the same shit we just have way more of it no i think our stuff is better but the the front line stuff the utilitarian hammer and you know the hammer and saw of the military there's no at some point you just can't improve it there's no reason to i i bet that our experimental stuff our scram jet fighters that are going you know mach 12 or whatever the fuck they're doing now uh the advanced

stuff i bet it's better because we're just spending more money and when you spend more money you got better stuff i looked at the i think it was a russian bomber i was watching and uh it didn't have it had round edges everywhere. And the thing about round edges is you can almost be sure that you'll get a radar signature on that thing, because something will bounce it back to you. The reason that there's flat edges on our new stealth bombers is that you have to be in the perfect spot, you know, for that, you shoot the thing with a radar, and the round one reflects it to everybody, just like a round TV catches sun glare from everywhere,

whereas a flat one is going to not necessarily bounce back to you that's why they're flat kyle keeps saying i'm wrong but i don't see it i think i'm right you're talking about the f-117 stealth not just that but like all of them are like all of our it seems like every new modern plane now doesn't have round edges from the u.s i was just thinking like the b2 bomber looks like a peregrine falcon like it's all round edges b2 bomber i have to no no no so that image that i think you're looking at somebody else showed that that image where it looks like the tail comes off like of that like bulbous area is just the other side of the wing like if you look at it from the actual side perspective it has the body but it doesn't have that tail you know it's flat from the bottom it's a triangle it's like this here uh it's flat from the bottom

i'm guessing that's the important part no but it is flat the whole thing is as flat as can be with the exception of like the rounded top cockpit area for the airflow let's see what does an f-35 look like see if i'm right about this most aer rounder than I expected it to be the warthog like so like the f-117 I think that's right yeah this thing's flat as hell maybe it's older stealth tech now they have the original stuff that's really old they have radar absorbing skin now that's that's a thing that they use to make it stealthy so maybe it doesn't need to be as flat. I don't know.

Isn't it? Is that the stealth bomber that's made entirely out of like or majority out of plastic to survive EMP blasts? Or what airplane is that? That doesn't sound feasible. I know. I think I just read a book about science fiction. But I watched the Russian one and it didn't look stealthy at all.

It looked like an 80s plane almost. Like good, like the Concorde or something, but just not like our stuff. So maybe it's easier to shoot down. I don't know. But it still looked like a modern bomber. I don't feel like we really go up against much good ground-based radar systems and anti-air systems very often. The best stuff that we're going to go against, everybody we're fighting against is being supplied by the Russians, right? But they're not getting the new Russian stuff.

They're getting the old Russian stuff that the Russians are comfortable selling to people, just like we sell to people F-16s. Is Russia really supplying ISIS? Yes. Well, Not directly. It's through other things. You see a Russian with an AK-47. Obviously it came from a Soviet bloc country at some point. Okay, I guess.

The Russians have been selling arms for a generation. That's also to the same point that we funded the militants in Afghanistan. To the same kind of thing like we're not directly sending money to them right now but at one point we did and that's our fault that's who we're fighting right so you're saying that's the same with the russians well i mean all the armament there is just russian like like like the tanks i mean look at the tanks that we destroyed in iraq those are russian tanks The tanks that they're fighting with in Syria, those are Russian tanks. There aren't any German tanks floating around on the Middle Eastern battlefield. It's whoever got sold to them and then they got transferred over and stuff.

Yeah, and a lot of our stuff's over there. ISIS is tooling around a lot of U.S.-made Humvees and with U.S.-made rifles and U.S.-made ammunition. Toyota's as well. They seized it from the Iraqis. We gave it to the Iraqis. They suck. That's what it is. made rifles and U.S. made ammunition. Toyota's as well. They seized it from the Iraqis. We gave it to the Iraqis. They suck. That's what it is.

No, that, sure. But also, I mean, we supply these rebel groups that we think are like pro-Assad and they're just mercenaries. So ISIS pays them a little more and so they go and fight with ISIS with the shit we gave them. You mean anti-Assad?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. What a close call. Because Russians are pro-Assad. I don't know, the shit we gave them. You mean anti-Assad? Yeah. Russians are pro-Assad. I don't know, the Middle East, guys. It's crazy. It's so zany. We created that whole thing. We've been working to destabilize Syria since 2006, I think. Bush's whole thing in Iraq is really

the beginning to that whole thing. I feel like the continued use of drones over there that would constantly, I'm constantly hearing about a wedding party blown up. Cause I guess that's a good time to be able to be like, yeah, this bad guy's going to a wedding, but then they kill everybody at the fucking wedding.

I got a thing. So I listened to Putin speak and it was translated, but he was speaking at the G20 thing and, you know, check it out. If you have time, they were, it was like real.

It was like, look, you know, we're doing this, we're doing that. The Americans aren't giving us Intel. I think they feel like we'd, we kill the people that they want to support.

If they told us everything they knew and, you know, they should trust us a little more to, to use the intelligence responsibly. He says, you know, this about, you know, how he was, they gave some good deal, I think, to the Ukraine, I hope I'm

not messing this up, in terms of repayment of the loan that they weren't expecting. And then he went on and on about ISIS and what they were doing there and what their plan was. And it was informative and educational and real, and it seemed like it was current and it was a delight to listen to whereas i feel like when i listen to u.s politicians they're like well problem is they hate our freedom and you know they can't stand our way of life are you talking about the g20 because obama wasn't there was he i think he was there i could be crazy i remember obama meeting with him just recently in the hotel lobby right but i don't think i think he was there. I could be crazy. I remember Obama meeting with him just recently. In the hotel lobby, right.

But I think he called off his entire trip to the G20, right? With the actual meeting. It sounds like you know more than me. I'm not sure. I don't know. I was just... Because I know the thing where they met in the hotel room. It was Obama, someone else, and Putin.

Are you saying that the U.S. during these G20s... Because I don't follow that much. What I was saying is I listened to Putin speak, and he really sort of laid out where he stands and what's going on. In America, especially the Republican side, they kind of just lay out the they hate our freedom, like, horseshit. Well, that's because in America we have elections to determine our leader, so you have to pander to your voting base when in Russia, he's a goddamn dictator who's been robbing the country blind for billions of dollars for the better part of two

decades. Here's how it feels to me, and this might be biased, but this is how it feels to me. I feel like the Republicans really cater towards a very stupid voter. So biased, I know. And it's like they hate our freedom. They, you know, can't stand that.

They, it's trashy bullshit reasons for why we want to do this. The Democrats won't say shit at all because everything they say just gets like torn to pieces. And unless you speak in like politically correct platitudes, you know, like we're going to show bravery

or whatever, that they just sort of remain silent. Putin, on the other hand, goes out there and says things politically correct platitudes, you know, like we're going to show bravery or whatever, that they just sort of remain silent. Putin, on the other hand, goes out there and says things that maybe over here people would dissect and pull apart, you know, whichever party's not in power would just find reasons to hate everything he says and does. And I just wish that we could get that kind of like informative, straight talking and planning from our leaders that the Russians seem to get from theirs. You get that when you don't actually have to get elected.

Yeah, you're not going to get that from people. I mean, I'm like it's funny because I actually read the thread about PKA and being on here and somebody was like, fuck him for supporting Bernie Sanders. I hate his liberal ass and I was just like I for supporting bernie sanders i hate his liberal ass and i was

just like i mean sure but like one of the and and i don't want to draw in u.s politics but one of the reasons i do like bernie sanders because he doesn't seem to pander to some bullshit like he he might not speak as directly as he should and give an outline of why he wants to do it but at the same time like he's very consistent with like no i'm not gonna fucking support that that corporate interest rather you know and and and it's different from hillary clinton responding to why do you take money from wall street saying like well i supported them on 9-11 where a lot of people died 9-11 i wish bernie did better with the tough talk like you say but one thing i think a lot of if i can butt in with like the him not pandering i think a lot of what he does as far as promising things like he promises the moon of like free totally legalized

drugs free health care all of this and it's not going to cost your demographic your tax bracket anything and i think that's just as much of a pander but to a different audience uh where we've been so wrong yeah we're so inculcated because the young people are liberal, for the most part, where it's like, oh, you know, pandering, that's when the Koch brothers are pandered to. Pandering, that's when Republicans are saying, you know, I'll stand for our right to have marriage that Jesus would like. And it's like, that's pandering. Him saying that he's going to give me all the things that I like,

even though everyone with half a brain knows that it's not feasible that's not pandering that's just good politics it's pandering to the majority instead of the minority he found a new way to to tax that frustrated me so fika a big part of fika is social security here's the deal social security was intended to be like a retirement plan. You know, everyone's forced to pay into it. And then you get your investment back when you turn 65 or whatever. It's older. You guys are young. You'll have to be 70 by the time you get it.

It's going to be gone by the time I'm old. They say that for decades now. I have no idea what will happen. But anyway, it used to be that you stopped paying into Social Security when you hit a certain income. Right now it's 118 grand and it made sense. I can explain it. If you made the equivalent of 50 grand your whole life, inflation adjusted, and you paid into it, whatever it is, 6 point something percent of your income, or 7 something, anyway, when you paid into it,

you would get back a rate that reflected the fact that you made 50 grand your whole life. If you made 118 grand, then you paid into it much more, and you would get back something that reflected your higher income your whole life. So your retirement would be a little better because you paid in more. Now he just wants to take off the cap. If you make a million dollars a year, So your retirement would be a little better because you paid in more. Now he just wants to take off the cap, right?

If you make a million dollars a year, then you still get back reflecting as if you paid 118. And I'm like, that feels like stealing to me. And I hear these counters like, oh, well, there's stealing that helped the rich. Well, then fix that, right? If you don't like, like I don't like, the fact that capital gains tax are taxed really favorably in comparison to ordinary income, fix that right if you don't like like i don't like the fact that capital gains tax are taxed really favorably in comparison to ordinary income fix that don't just go fuck up social security because you don't like capital gains taxes how about closed corporate tax evasion loopholes and

then fixed like a vast majority of the financial issues that are causing it which in turn helps everybody out like so here let me talk about that in here's the basis of most corporate tax evasion loopholes right if i'm coca-cola and i make a product in america and sell it in india i'll say then i pay taxes on that right it's a thing i made a profit i sold it to india etc if i'm coca-cola and i make a product in india and sell it to India, etc. If I'm Coca-Cola and I make a product in India and sell it to a guy who lives in India, then there's no US taxes on that, as there kind of shouldn't be. It wasn't made here. It wasn't

sold here. America had nothing to do with it. You don't get to just collect taxes from all global sales that happen anywhere because your headquarters is in America. If you raise corporate taxes, which some people suggest doing then people are corporations will be incentivized to find more ways to classify stuff as non-american um

if you like does that does that cover the does that cover the like insert corporation here paid $123 on $30 billion profit? Is that covered underneath that? Because the corporation makes a profit, but the UK or the US or whatever country that it's actually located in doesn't get a cut of that because none of the profit came from sources inside that country, right? Typically, they're just paying taxes in some other country, right? Typically, they're just paying taxes in some other country, right? Like Cisco had a lot of global operations. And I remember like our point of sales was in America. This was something I was involved in.

So America got like a cut of all the sales. So we had to take our internet, like you'd order online. We had to take our online systems and have another one for Europe so that we didn't have to pay US taxes. If you're selling to Europe and the website's hosted in Europe, then all of a sudden you're not doing U.S. taxes anymore. And it was a big, expensive project.

And it was hard to do. And there were certain downsides and complexities that would exist forever. But it was worth it, I suppose, to avoid U.S. taxes. That's one way that when a company makes $30 billion and pays next to no money or whatever, it's because that money wasn't made in the US. Another thing that can happen that people often don't count is the losses. This happened when those – remember when the banks did terribly and they had to get bailed out and stuff? So you lose $1 billion in 2014.

You roll that loss forward. You pay no taxes. You lost money, whatever. In 2015, you make a billion dollars. Well, now you have a lost carry forward. So in 2015, you don't pay any taxes until you run through your losses and then you start paying taxes again. So a lot of times they'll like look at like a Ford or something and be like, look, Ford made all this money. I hear you. But they just got crushed for like two or three years in a row. That's why they've had their lost carry forwards.

They're working through that and then they'll start paying taxes again. It's usually not as corrupt as it turns out, like as you think it might be. I mean, that all makes sense. And like, that's all very understandable. It's all like super complicated. I'm sorry. Let me pitch this to you, right? So you're a company like Cisco and this really happened.

Let me pitch this to you, right? So you're a company like Cisco, and this really happened. They had $40 billion in the bank, and they took out a loan in America for operations and stuff. And everyone is like, why are we borrowing money when we have $40 billion in the bank? And they said, well, that money is overseas. And if we bring it into America, then we have to pay taxes on it. So my question for you is,

does it make sense to have an amnesty year, right? The United States would get trillions of dollars from companies like Apple. Wow. Holy shit. I don't know what that was. But the United States would get trillions of dollars from Apple and Cisco and Microsoft and Coca-Cola.

All these companies that have been making money outside would love to have that money available in the U.S. without taxes. An amnesty year would put probably $2 trillion into the U.S. economy, but they'd be skipping all these taxes. All right, so here, because I'm going to be honest with you in that as a business owner and a self-employed person taxing and this whole situation and everything financial related to and your job my job and you know every is really complicated to the point where it makes me just go i don't even want to spend the time to actually

understand why i'm getting fucked i'm just gonna say thank you for fucking me. I'd like to not get fucked next year. Like with that, with that, how would how would putting the trillions of the how would, you know, having offshore accounts be put into the U.S. accounts? How would that help the average everyday person as what you see the whole like Bernie Sanders movement is? I'm average everyday person electing him and having his moonshot changes actually come into effect helps me out in these ways if all that money was in America then they could pay more American employees they could build American

like infrastructure like all the office buildings and things like that that go with it they could buy their caterpillar construction equipment and all those things that they might have things that they want to do in America that they can't do right now because the money's not in america like it would just be a lot of money and granted it's not all going to be spent like in a year or something like i think my might have been implying that but there'd just be a huge pool of cash that exists inside of america

that would be probably spent on american-ish things you know it's cool i mean i it seems kind of like uh i hope this would be the case, but I'm sure that there's an analytic and actual thing that people can do a study on that would prove this. I love me some data, so if somebody can give me reasons why this would work, then I'd be down to try it. But imagine the story.

Like, hey, this is the biggest tax dodge in the history of America. These companies offshored all their profits, and now it gets to come in untaxed. We're rewarding tax dodgers, et cetera, et cetera. To me, I see both sides of the issue. And I often do on these things. And it is the people who just pay less attention to it who just love to villainize all these things.

They love to villainize the rich, typically. For sure. I know. I know. It's just a lot of clusterfuck. these things and they love to villainize the rich typically for sure i know i i know it's it's it's just a lot of clusterfuck of like i've there if there was an easy solution we were we would already be there like everybody would already be in agreement for it there's there's no way to make everybody happy somebody's gonna have to take the hit and that's the whole nature of u.s politics i like drinking whenever we do the debates here's a fun... So Obama's been going off about

how, oh, you Republicans are scared of women and children, refugees and stuff like that, widows and moms and babies. And then, like, the next day, wasn't there a suicide attack by a woman? And a child. A child, too? There was an 11-year-old girl who blew herself

up in a Nigerian suicide bombing. God fucking dammit. I just feel like if I'm on the right, that's a super strong part or talking point. I'm afraid of women and children with 10 or 20 pounds of HE and 20 pounds of ball bearings. I'm afraid of a dog with 20 pounds of HE. I'm afraid of anything with 20 pounds of that. Are you comparing women to dogs? Jesus Christ.

Sexually. Oh no. Hey, not all dogs. Microaggression! Now I've got the title for PKA this week. I thought this was a safe space. to dogs. Jesus Christ. Oh no. Microaggression. Now I've got the title for PKA this week. I thought this was a safe space. Come on, Woody.

I came on here to have my echo chamber turned on. Yeah, anyway. All these things are trickier than they make it out to be. These answers are hard. Yeah, definitely. Alright, These answers are hard. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Alright, maybe a new topic. Yeah! Why are fleshlights considered creepy and weird when they're really

just reverse dildos? Because you gotta clean that shit out every now and then and that's just like a sad... I don't know how many times you're using it. I just meant like are you using it for like your everyday jack session? But every time you're using it. I just meant like if you are you using it for like your everyday jack session? No, but every time you use it it needs to be cleaned. It's like I'm saying I was implying

You're not using it every you're not like alright. Oh, okay. Okay. That's a save. It was like you were saying Yeah, it's tough having an ass you gotta wipe that thing occasionally You know? No, it's just like a shameful semen collector is what it is It turns inside out, you know? The thing about it is, like, if a woman has that and she just goes and rinses it off real quick, or she slides a condom on it and just takes that off or does whatever she does, it's just a quick little twist in the sink,

and then it goes back proudly on the mantles to showcase her empoweredness. That's where I keep going. For a guy, it's like almost serial killer-esque where it's like, yeah, I'm doing this. Then you finish reality. Reality pours back in. Then you go and you pull this fake body part out of there like it's one of those base eaters in Alien. And then you go right out into the sink.

You pull the pussy out, and now you have a little, like, a feeling bag of cum and lubricant. And you're just, like, walking a tube worm. Like a tube worm. Like a tube worm. Like a tube worm. Bag of cum and lubricant and you're just, like, walking around with it and it's all, like,

floppy and, and, and, and, like, moist and you gotta,

like, turn it inside out and wash it in the sink and then it's all, it's all, like, wet but there's no way

to, like, dry that without getting, like, fibers on it so you're just shaking it

to, like, I'm in the bathroom shaking a pocket pussy basically getting all the water off and then I'm like trying to shake all the water because now it's going to go back inside, not inside out but outside in so that I can put it back inside the mechanism and store it away in

its drawer. There's too much effort. I'll just come into my sock and wash it. See, it's a lot of effort. I think jerking off manually is a lot of effort. Just pump after a pump for an hour. No clean up. This thing you just put on there and just, you know,

you just, ah. It didn't work. The auto blow. You're still on about your auto blow? I like my auto blow. I mean, it's been, yeah, it's been, well, it doesn't wear out. It doesn't wear out.

I mean, if you wore yours out, I'm impressed, but like, it's still as good as, you know, the day I bought. You know, with this robust of a product statement, I'm thinking about getting my own auto blower. Like, I got a girlfriend, but she's not available 24-7. Maybe I'm editing a video, and I just want an auto blower. What you want is to do your Twitch streaming, and then every so often, as your face is up there,

they just hear the, Nying, nying, nying, nying, nying, nying, nying, nying, nying, nying, nying. Dude, I would do this. What is that? It's the AC unit. It's freaking out. I would be so much funnier if I didn't have kids. Like, the reason I'm not executing on this concept is that Hope has to go to high school tomorrow.

Yeah. Okay. You think she's going to be like, my dad has an auto blowjob machine. No. No. Her friends are going to be like, your dad has an auto blowjob machine. That's what will happen. Yeah. Yeah. And he's like, ah, well, no her friends are gonna be like your dad has an auto blowjob machine. That's what happened. Yeah She's two years from college. Oh, the gloves come off

With the pocket pussy like after you clean it even if you're home alone You're still skulking around your house like looking around corners making sure that no maybe like a home intruder could be in there burglaring you and you would look at him like oh my god i'm so sorry like and just like you think that would really do i think that would deter somebody they see you go on ham with a pocket pussy or something and they're like let's go to the next house like this dude's got some some a few minutes can i get next on that i'm taking that with me can you clean it out at night point no you clean it out it's a real bitch no yes the cleanup is of course pretty disgusting and and you're just filled with shame because you just fucked a robot but you know i feel like it is a superior

masturbation uh it's superior to masturbation in any other form i feel like years now what how often are you using your auto often at all like maybe once a month once a month but when you get that slight mood you're just like i could go for an auto well i'll forget about it it's just in a drawer there and i'll be looking for like don't know, a toothpick or a lighter or whatever, and I'll be like, oh. Hey, sweetheart. What are you doing? Nobody else is here.

Let me see if I can find your power cord, and maybe you and I will burn a few kilowatts. Let's make it happen. I was imagining that Woody's has a stubble or a mustache drawn over it. It's got a happy trail going on. Oh, in my house tour

I should just have it sitting on a shelf all decked out like a dude. A little bow tie. It's just the lips of your auto-blast. You've seen that, right? There is a sex toy of it, like a haunting, just a mouth with a mustache. Oh, there it is. I was wondering when that was coming.

Yeah, about as hard as Kyle comes with that auto-blower. Not even close. Taylor, did you hit your video button? I'm shaking orgasm with that thing. I like to really assert my dominance. I feel like when I crank it up to high and it's... Please tell me you guys have... This is probably what just popped in my head.

This is what Woody uses all the time. Did you use your video button, Taylor? Woody, you're a loading screen. That's disgusting. How foul is that? You may have to hang up and recall. Oh, the fuck? What's wrong, Taylor? Oh, you saw the recall. Oh, the fuck? Oh no, he's...

What's wrong, Tyler? Oh, you saw the thing. Oh yeah, I've got everybody now. Yeah, but you're kind of like grayed out on my screen. It comes back after about a minute or two. I'm saying, look, you can see like the throat dick ticklers. Yeah, I don't like that at all. If I call everyone back, then it takes like a minute for Chiz's icon to go away.

So it's like six in one hand, half dozen in the other. Well, I don't see you. I just see you're fucked. I don't like how it has a chin. Yeah, like out of all the facial features they decided to have. It has like big jowls. Right? It's like a fat dude.

That's a nutsack. Is it possible that He's a fat dude That's a nut sack Is it possible that it's a It's a reverse dildo It's a dildo on the other side I see your point. You could probably suction that mouth and fuck it if you're a girl but you could also fuck it as a dude

This is fun for the whole family That's what this is You put it in the girl. Listen, you put it in the girl, and then you act like you're fucking a dude, but then you're fucking a girl with that. Yeah, I see how they're... I've heard of this before. They use these at the Pray Away the Gay camps.

It kind of ease you in to female sex. It's not totally straight yet. We'll get there. Step by step. Still mustache step mustache my god that's terrifying though uh yeah there is there's definitely a stigma with using those things and it's a stigma that like you can find people who are like it's ridiculous that women can use their dildos and i can't even use my robot lady butthole to get off at night like so you use that oh no no no no no no no not me i'm not that guy i'm just saying it's fucked up you know what's up all right

you've seen those like twerking robots right no no i haven't seen you have not seen the twerking robot i don't think i have all right i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna it here we go it is a it is literally a sex toy that does nothing but twerk and you can fuck it but like the ass twerks and it's a vr enabled twerking robot do you think twitch made the right call to to get rid of twerking yeah i mean i don't think there's any time all right meet my horny self maybe 15 years old would love to go to twitch and see somebody twerking their ass off for donations another part of me knows that myfreecams.com is a site that i could see somebody doing it naked i you know it's i don't really watch many girl streamers i feel bad no that's just your problem

yeah i i usually watch dudes and dudes that i've known for a while like you know people that were yeah i'm the same way i watch people and uh it was them like you know like dudes would twerk and it was hilarious and brennan would be so happy yeah yeah i you know i know some of the optic guys would twerk and i always enjoyed it like it was funny to me um and now it's gone and It's like, I don't know if I would ever twerk. Really not as big of a loss as it could have been a big loss. No, I'd never seen any of it, and it does not sound like a loss. It's not a loss.

Like, it's a thing. Like, ha-ha. But, like, it's a thing that, like, when it was gone, like, nobody was like, let's do a sit-in for twerking on Twitch. Like, that's not how it worked. It was just, like, the potential for that to be a negative influence on the site and just, like, a horrible, like, attribute to live streaming is way, way more than the potential for it to be anything beneficial. If anything, it was just, like, a nice comedic thing.

But, like... Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I dance on stream, but... A lot of people dance on stream. Not twerking. You can't twerk, Woody. No yoga pants for your nine-year-old ass.

I wish I could lie. So tell me this. Maybe Tucker might know, or maybe you do, Woody. I probably do. I have two internet connections here. They're both like roughly 14 by 2. 14 down to... Okay, no for any live streaming.

Here's what I want to know. Is there a way to combine the two and get something that works? And I know it wouldn't add up exactly, but could I get... Is there some way to pipe those two into one and somehow get, say,

22 down and 3.8 up or 5 up or something? Isn't it just the data stream they're pushing on each line has nothing to do with anything other than the fact that they're pushing two up to both lines? That's it? There is a way. As a matter of fact, you do it all the time.

Well, Kyle doesn't, but iPhones do it all the time, actually. It's called, I think it's called multi-streaming. I forget. I know Peplink is probably the most well-known router that does this. And the way it works from an architecture standpoint, you can only download one thing to most places, right? The whole world is not set up for the multi-stream thing, including Twitch. So there is a server somewhere out there that is multi-stream smart.

And you would pretty much upload upload both let's see how would that work yeah you'd upload over both lines to that thing it would combine them there's about a 15 loss and then it goes to twitch who could you have a could you have one in could you do could you could that server be at my house? Sitting right there on the floor? There are less expensive ways for you to livestream. Are there? I mean, I mean... It would have to be a very big server, bitch, just for me. Well, I'd have to move locations.

Yeah, let me just sell this house and then move 45 minutes away. What's your cell phone coverage like? You got 4G? It's fine, yeah. You have 4G? You could probably get a 4G modem with 300 gigs for $100 a month, or $200 a month. And that would be cheaper than whatever you're trying to do. You would be able to livestream off of it, but you would not be able to livestream every day

for a long period of time. No five-hour... Like, a five-hour zombies thing would probably use up half of that. I don't know the math on that. Yeah, you're fucked. You live in bumfuck nowhere. You gotta get an ISP to deliver you something. No words hurt, Tucker.

So, 40 down, 4 up. Would I be able to stream with that? I could. The maximum bitrate is 3500 on Twitch. If you're not partner, which I don't think either of you are, you're gonna be pushing about 1500 bitrate is 3500 on Twitch. If you're not partnered, which I don't think either of you are, you're going to be pushing about 1500 bitrate, which is going to look, for zombies, not that great, honestly. It's going to look like 480p on YouTube. Oh, is it hard to get partnered?

You need to pull about 300 viewers consistently for about two months. They need to make sure that you're actually viable. What is it for partnered? What is the max upload? 3500 bitrate. You can't really go over that. Well, how about this? YouTube has unlimited. What is it for partnered? What is the max upload? 3,500 bit rate. You can't really go over that. Well, how about this?

YouTube has unlimited. If you really want to get started, and for all three of you, you're all YouTubers that would like to stream, YouTube's better. It is. Unlimited bit rate, whatever you want to stream, whatever the maximum your internet can handle. If it's 3,500 out of a four up, you can do it. It'll look good. Yeah, but that's what you pay more, right? You're not going to make money regardless unless you're pulling 500 viewers a day

for three to five hours a day every day. Even, we're talking three grand. As far as I know, 3,500 megabit or 3,500 is the max up. Tucker said something about if you're partnered, it's higher. I'm partnered. No, no, no. That's the max period. Oh, okay. Yeah, alright. So I got confused for a second. I can go higher

than Twitch will literally email me and say, fuck off. You're costing us more money than you're making. Wait until our infrastructure is better. Which is fine, but that's my one big complaint with them. Versus YouTube, anybody who has a channel can hop on there and stream up to 9,000 bitrate, which

is good enough for 1080, 60 FPS. Twitch is only good enough for 70, 60. The money, Taylor, is awful from Twitch. Now, the money can be good. But, like, for example, we live streamed PKA. Now, I don't run ads all the time. You know, if you ran ads every 10 minutes or something, you'd make more. But we live streamed PKA. Now, I don't run ads all the time. If you ran ads every 10 minutes or something, you'd make more. But we live streamed PKA. We pulled between 5,000 and 5,500 people the entire time. And I think I made like $16 or something like that. All right. Well, that's not... I don't

know what's down with that. If I had 5K viewers for four hours and I ran a 90-second ad every 45 minutes, so we're getting roughly like... So I didn't do that, but carry on. Right, right. But I'm saying you would probably make about $300 to $400, which is not even where the money comes from. That is way higher than I experienced. Yeah, I don't think I've had a night where I made $300 since somebody got on their current contract.

Yeah, you must not have because you're so sporadic, which is honestly probably the contract. Yeah, you must not have, because you're so sporadic, which is honestly probably the issue, if you don't have the best contract. Versus, I mean, live streaming anywhere, it's not like YouTube where you upload something and then you have 1,000 videos stacked of views, right? So you might be making $80 per new video, but you have 1,000 other videos

that are helping back that monthly payment twitch is more like your subs and your tips or your bread and butter and the ad revenue is solely bonus that is it's a different monetization model that's where i was headed sometimes uh not subs i don't have a lot of subs but sometimes i'll get money in tips that counts for something like it's usually one heavy hitter or something. But in my stream, it costs $3 if you want your message to pop up. So a lot of people... Okay, yeah.

A lot of people donate $3 and that adds up to, I don't know, a couple dollars. Not a couple hundred for me. You're much bigger than I am on Twitch. Right. You can get up there. Every now and then,

a person who's particularly fond of me will do like a 200 banger and that makes it you know then it's like oh holy smokes like tonight's stream was return to profit instead of now imagine you did that every day and now you're not going to expect the same person to do that but imagine this is your full-time thing like youtube so you have a million people maybe like maybe you got 15 of those. So every other day you have somebody who's out there going, you know what, yeah, yeah, I love Woody. Woody, you helped me through this dark time.

Here's $150. Woody, you now have off of that one guy who's being super generous, have just made this entire five-hour live stream worth it. That happens more frequently the bigger you get because you have the bigger audience. So that's where you get into actually making a good revenue stream from Twitch, whether you think it's morally all right or not. At the end of the day, this person.

That seems definitely all right to me because it's so voluntarily. There's no trickery. There's no, yeah. People get pissed at anything. So you've got to cover it up. Well, yeah, there's that. I think it would be fun. trickery. There's no... People get pissed at anything, so you gotta come up with your bases. I think it would be fun... For one thing, I think it would be fun to stream Fallout

because I don't want to make the videos and deal with all the work that goes into that. But I could stream it, and then there it is. If you want to go watch it later, just hop back on there and watch it. That'd be good for YouTube for you. Yeah, but also I think it would be fun to do an FPS Russia video that I live streamed.

Like what if I had like a real shooting range behind me with like dozens of explosions and some of them were small but there were like, you know, there were some cars and a school bus in the background. Yeah, when we get to $500 we're gonna blow that fucking school bus up, you know? I feel like that'd be fun. You realize you're sitting on a, that's... Would Twitch allow it? There was a time where if it was not gaming,

Twitch was angry. I'm using the guns of Call of Duty. If you did that and you put it in gaming talk show, sure. We had a podcast where we literally talked about sex stories. Gaming talk show. Obviously walking a gray line. YouTube will allow anything that is even... They don't even care you can make dinner. Sure not it doesn't matter

I'd say for you because then it gets uploaded to your channel as a VOD you could sit there on YouTube I know it's not as refined a switch where you can get like all these pop-ups and and tips But you could be like 500 bucks. We're gonna RPG this bus right now It could be cumulative one and all go you can sit there go look at this pit handgun you could shoot somebody live like that's a five-hour show at the gun range of you having fun I can't believe you haven't done this yet like this is a great idea like how do I stream from from from you know a gun range a field yeah I need to get a thing you're talking about yeah but you get that 40 and one stream and you're

gonna turn a profit on not only the month of that internet, but also it would just be fucking fun. Like just to play off of the 2,000 to 20,000 people in there just going, yo, shoot the mannequin in the bus. Oh, you want me to shoot the mannequin in the bus? Yes, shoot it. Here's 10 bucks. Okay, you shoot it.

It explodes. That's fucking awesome. If I could figure out a way to get my camera get my camera to and you know cameraman who could you could pan and zoom and? Do everything and have that stream yeah, that would be really cool. I'll consider that I wasn't aware of this 4g What is it again a hotspot? Every single character or carrot carrier Yeah, carrier has has some hotspot Verizon probably the better of what you want to do is test it um yeah in apex it was faster to be with at&t and i talked to them and they're like everyone was

kind of surprised by that but i tested it and that's what i got um it's taylor i'm sorry tucker's right it's probably going to be verizon but test it yeah i mean they'll they'll allow you to if you go into the store and you say show me your upload speed on this hotspot, they'll do it. What's your cell phone carrier? Mine? Yeah. AT&T. Sure. You could hit speed test from the

field and just see what you get. Yeah, I'm not sure. Sorry, go for it. I'm just not sure if I have 4G there with my phone. I bet Verizon would. That's what you want to test? Yeah. I mean, if you have over, I'd say a safe, you want 3,500 bitrate because that's the highest

you can get a really clean 720p stream at 60 FPS. It's going to look crisp. You're going to have good definition. It's not going to be full HD, but you're not going to eat through a fuck ton of data in five minutes. So that's kind of like where you want to be. So you want your upload to be at five.

If you have 4G in any sense of the word, your upload is going to be 15. You're going to be okay with that. So this is a viable idea and I would absolutely look into it because this is something that nobody's done before. And that seems to me like you could not only do a good live stream but you could also get

several videos out of it like somebody drops a hunter bomb on you and they're just like take that watermelon put explosives in it put the camera next to it and blow it up and use the GoPro to stream back to the thing it blows up the camera goes flying people are like holy shit that's a video on your channel the biggest challenge is

you need something of a crew like I got that yeah you will I film with it anyway I just get the same crew there well they just take more than four of us that I feel like you do that and yeah it alters the profit model if you have a real crew then grab some sponsors like live viewers are valuable in a lot of ways like i mean you you can really grab uh sponsors from not only camera companies but also from just any product fucking mcdonald's happy meal put a c4 charge in there like that i mean yeah they'd love that you know you get my point like you can find ways to integrate it to offset of course yeah yeah I wouldn't be that big of an issue to do but yeah I would say with a full crew I would think it would be worth exploring solely because

I want to watch it now like you know that seems like something I would the way I'm picturing my head is like me sitting in a table almost in front of the camera being like here's what's behind me you know like that's a school bus with x amount of explosives and this much diesel and gasoline that's gonna be fucking ridiculous and you know there's little ones here and there and you know maybe have a dozen rare weapons there and it'd have to be more than 500 to make that worthwhile i mean i wouldn't say like put a price on it where you have like a i wouldn't say like put a price tag on it but you can absolutely set a donor like a tip goal and as soon as it hits that, I'd say do shit in the meantime. Explain the gun.

Oh, yeah. I would be shooting the whole time. Yeah, but for those big payloads where you're like, okay, this is going to be $1,000 worth of explosives, absolutely put it at the $1,000 mark for tips. You're going to hit that eventually just from people being like, fuck it. I want to see this dude blow it up here's three bucks like I'll contribute to that no be a real piece of shit set the goal ten thousand and be like and do it like if you do not hit it in three hours I will try again tomorrow like they get like zero they get to like seventy two hundred dollars and then the

next day you show up it's like all right my friends 12,000 Then they have to work from zero You know that gets four days in you make a cool 50 and and you still have a bus I've wanted to do that for years honestly I just don't know you know I beat the technical aspect of it was the issue It's like yeah Maybe if we had like a thousand feet of fiber that we could run and plug in up the road and run like no that's not gonna fucking work you'd have to go wireless like you said for the hot spot but yeah i'll look into that do that you just need 10

100 foot ethernet cables with ethernet connectors i don't need there's not even any fast enough internet within driving distance of where i shoot like it's it's thing. If I had 10,000 feet of cable, then I could do it. You need a repeater at that thing. Yeah. I feel like that'd be fun. I think if you get that down, that's definitely something that nobody's seen before and

I'm interested. I got my flamethrower right there behind me. I get the flamethrowers out. Are you kidding me? I want to see you burn some shit up, dude. I want to see you with a flamethrower right there behind me. I got the flamethrowers out. I got lots of creepy stuff. Are you kidding me? I want to see you burn some shit up, dude. I want to see you with a flamethrower and a GoPro on your chest of you just lighting things on fire.

That's what I want to do with my free time. I've done another show. It's got a flamethrower. It got really, really red and hot looking. It looked uncomfortable. It was. It's cooler now. Flamethrowers are very hot.

I'm going to make that flamethrower video soon. I'm waiting on a few things to fall into place, but I got some cool ideas for that. I got like 80 pounds of thermite. I'm going to try to melt the car. And I got like $500 worth of firecrackers I bought. I'm going to make a firework man. Just take a mannequin

and hot glue fireworks all over it. Like every square inch of it's going to be covered with a different kind of fireworks. When does your FEL hit 90 days? Do you know? I don't know. What's FEL? Federal Explosives License. Is this a new topic?

You have a temp license, I guess? Yeah, it's a new topic. You can't get one of those in California? I don't know, man. I'm curious. I don't know. It's not backwards like Alabama. It it's soon i know that um what was i gonna say yeah yeah so in my area the 4g router he's talking about or the hot spot whatever you

want to call it uh they get like six and a half up which would do the trick yeah absolutely as a matter of fact that's double what you need i just live streaming is more fun for me i know that we've all made videos like and it's fun to sit down there and edit and shit but i streamed fallout for four hours listening to like my chill playlist on pandora it was just a radio station of like relaxing not relaxing like uh like like moby and like kind of like chill electronic music while just playing and exploring the wasteland. There were 3,000 people all just sitting around like chatting about the wasteland and the scenery and whatever. I wasn't doing missions.

I was just looting. Are you talking? Yeah. Like, I mean, it's me playing like, all right, let's go explore the witch. I just got to the witchcraft museum and I was like, let me go check this place out. It gets a little spoopy and I'm like, fuck this. My whole chat's like, nope. Like, can can't do that you're too low level all this stuff but it's just it's like being in a room

it's like being in a room with a bunch of friends you don't need to be on you don't need to be like on and be poignant all the time you can but you can be quiet that's my challenge man do you know how to make your follower equip items yeah equip items? Yeah.

Oh, equip items. Yeah. Go into their inventory when you're swapping items with them. Select the item in their box and press Y, and they'll equip it and use it. So if you've got like a McCready, he's like a sniper character. He's good with sniper rifles. So I gave him my best sniper rifle and have him equip it. You've got to give him the ammunition that's specific

to that weapon. You're gonna make them equip a specific grenade, and you can dress them however you want, which is hilarious, because I make them wear dresses and stuff sometimes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have a good time. I kept thinking that there would be an achievement for making them wear my leftover wedding ring, but

there's not. They totally should be. They've done a lot of stuff, like little things that I was pleasantly surprised with. If you sort by value, your wedding ring is always at the top of everything. I'm like, oh, that's kind of cute, but little shit like that, I wouldn't have thought of. That's smart.

We sold the wedding ring at the First Lady. Terrible. She only gave us $76, and then we went to go see how much it would be to buy back. $800 from that Jew. That's awful. Three up? Yeah.

Mine, I... Yeah, three up is not horrible. Like, oh, one up. Three down, one up? Yeah, three down, one up. It was better in Apex. Yeah, so that's not worth it. I mean, you could stream on it.

It's 1.8 up, but yeah, that wouldn't do it. You don't want to stream under 1,500 kilobits per second. Yeah. So, speed test. Download it. It's free. See what you get. Yeah, I need to see if that's a viable option,

because I think that would be cool. It would be fun to do. But I really would like to stream some Fallout. That would be really fun, because I'm on there playing all the time. And I'm usually talking because my girlfriend watches me play. So I'm basically doing a Let's Play anyway. I'm like, so now we're going into this building.

I know it's full of raiders. So as soon as we get in there, we're popping this jet. We're going into fucking John Wick mode. Yes. I'm having so much fun with that game. I really am. It's great. They did well great they did well

have you run into like some really like the game has some pretty indefensibly shitty bugs where you're just like laughing at you're like there's some brahmin literally floating 400 feet in the air yeah definitely bodies floating in the air like lots of that

I shot a mirelurk earlier today with I've got this Alien artifact gun that's oh you have the alien ray gun yeah, but I've got the improved it Well, it's the it's an art It's kind it's similar But it's called the alien artifact gun and I've got the improved version of it like that you have to do a mission for right and It's got it It's like an area of effect weapon it shoots a blast kind of like what that that sonar thing the myra lurks will shoot at

Yeah, yeah that. And I'm like rapid firing a Mirelurk who's below me, and then he dies, and the next one hits him, and he just flies! Just like I launched him out of a cannon across the map. I also like the acetylene tanks that you can shoot the caps off of and send sailing into the night like bottle rockets.

I've been trying to use those as weapons. Yeah, you can, there's, I don't know where it is, but there's like, it looks like a mortar, like, launcher. You can put them in there and launch them off like mortars into the sky and they explode. Yeah, that's cool. I haven't found that shack yet, but anytime I find one of those tanks,

I pick it up and start carrying it around, waiting until I find the next enemy, get right next to them. My sneak is, like, off the chain. That's smart. I can sneak up on anybody I want at this point, which is really fun. I'll be, It's broad daylight.

I'm wearing power armor, but I'm crouched right next to the bad guys, and they're just like, who do you think? It must be my sensors. It's off the chain, right? Off the chain. That was the first time I've heard that since Nickelodeon in the 90s. Off the chain. Okay.

It's good. It's real good. His sneak is on fleek that's what i just said it rhymes it's hit that shit lasted for about a month never heard that one before i feel like you need one of those paperboy hats to say that like like what you it sounds like some 1940s talk to me no no this is very much 2015 say you know what i think happened june through august i think it was like on the office when daryl gives michael the fake cool black no no no he's like ticky tacky wobble and then they do the do the silly handshake. It's funny, but it's totally not true. On fleek is a thing. It was on black people Twitter for a month.

Yeah, they told me. Flick a flack. Flick a flack. Flick a flack. Dude, I know we covered Paris already. Do you think the citizens need guns? I swear, every time... I'm pro-gun. I'm pro-gun, I know we covered Paris already. Do you think the citizens need guns? I swear, every time... I'm pro-gun.

I'm pro-gun, I am. No. But every time I hear, like, oh, was there a school shooting? You know what the problem was? The other kids didn't have rifles. I don't think there's ever been a... There's very few situations,

even in the U.S., where we have pretty lax gun laws, where there's been a shooting and somebody has actually stopped that and i'd be i'd love sources with their concealed firearm texas i yeah i mean texas okay sure i follow where someone has stopped don't become mass shootings though right and i'm saying that the while those might not make the news and i'd love to see that there's very few times where, like, in that instance, like, you're not carrying a weapon into the theater. Like, that's just not allowed in the theater pretty much anywhere anyway,

so that wouldn't have helped the situation. But on the side of the cafe, maybe in Texas or maybe in some other place, somebody might have had a gun, but realistically, there's a lot more to stopping it than just owning the gun. Like you have to have the brass and the, like, like the go ahead to actually use it in that situation. So I think that for people who don't know in America, most of the places that there's crowds,

you're not allowed to bring your gun. So you can't bring it into a school. You can't bring it into a place that serves alcohol. That varies by state. You can't bring it into any place that sells tickets for the most part. That includes movies, sports events, concerts, things like that. Public gatherings. I don't know if that's a North Carolina thing.

But the general rule of thumbs fit most states, you know, or pretty close. And a lot of the mass shootings that happen in those places where you can't bring your gun. So that's going to lower it. It's not that gun people like to say, oh, they do it in movie theaters because you can't bring guns there. No, I think there's just an overlap. They do it in places where there's lots of people and there tend to be laws against bringing guns to lots of people. Right, exactly.

So I'm saying like if the... I mean, and that's kind of... I'm not... I don't really have a hard stance on either of the way. Like, sure, I'm happy to allow anybody to have guns. I love shooting guns like in a range. It's awesome. And I see both sides of the story here. But at the same time, like having shooting guns in a range. It's awesome, and I see both sides of the story here, but

at the same time, having concealed carry in a school will probably terrify me just for the fact that I know there's that one fucker, that one dude who's going to mess it up for everybody else, and then you go back to where we are right now, where it's like, no, we shouldn't have it in there.

I don't think everybody being allowed to concealed carry or at least have weapons around the person would have changed the i just i i don't think you know two people killed 89 in that theater i don't think it would have called a theater i don't think it would have helped you know like i don't think that's any that's the shit you can't get away with if there's two guns in the audience. But how are the guns – guns aren't going to be in the audience is the thing because they're not going to be allowed into that space. It's like bringing – This is a hypothetical, right? They're hardly allowed in the whole country.

But let's say that concealed carry people have their guns with them a lot, more than some people might guess. And out of those 89 people, if that was in North Carolina, there'd be... Maybe 20. Maybe 20 got killed. That's high-ish. But 10, oh, killed.

But there might be 10 guns out there. Right, so what I'm saying is maybe it could have an impact. Maybe. I mean, if all those laws were lax for it, you'd have to look at the... I just recognize how crazy it sounds on the surface. Like, oh, shootings need more guns.

The bad guys who want guns clearly can get them, right? Because there were some bad guys in Paris who wanted some guns, and they got them. You can get guns no matter what. And it's not like they had... They didn't have double-barreled shotguns. In the Guy Ritchie movie, they make fun of the fact that guns are hard to get

in England, and so they got these shitty, ridiculous guns that are almost comical. They are literally comical, the guns that they have to bring to bear. But in this case, like, these guys got AK-47s, they got pump shotguns, and they got plenty, clearly, of ammunition for both of them. I mean, the bad guys who want guns are getting guns, so why not reduce, at least make it so that if you're a citizen who wants to go take a course, make it a six-week training course if you want to. I don't fucking care.

By the time it's over, like, have the civilian be a better shot than those cops who are running away. But I don't know. I know that... I know that... I don't think that there's anything wrong with it. I don't think that there's anything that's going to be gained from that there's anything that's gonna be gained from it or lost from it Like it's just a thing that could happen. I want to cry Kyle and something they were French those cops were surrendering

They came back. I'm not cosigning It's a joke More guns everything safer probably isn't always true. But sometimes I think, like, yeah, like if you go on a purely anecdotal basis, many times it seems like, well, what if that guy right there had a gun? What if that guy had a gun? If that guy had a gun, or that guy, or any of those guys who are now dying had guns, I feel like they'd be shooting back.

And I've never been shot at, but I can only guess that being shot at is fucking terrifying and if you shot back at the asshole who thinks he's there to take out some sheep, maybe he pisses his pants and runs for his life. You know, you never know. Takes cover, etc. Yeah. I think that the issue is that the what-ifs that are involved, like what if this dude had a gun and also was not too afraid to use it. Well, there's lots of instances of it happening. I know they don't make the news, but I follow a few guns rights advocacy groups on social media and stuff. And they, of course, are quick to point out the instances where concealed carry saves the day. And there's one every other day, like a high profile-ish one by the standards of non-mainstream media never talking about these things happening.

You see it a lot of times. The 13-year-old kid the other day killed one home intruder, ran the other away. But there's lots of times when a guy pulls out a gun at a gas station, tries to rob a bank, something like that, and some dude who's just going about his day shoots the guy in the back and it's game over and nobody gets hurt except for the bad guy, the robber, the rapist, the murderer, the guy who's committing going about his day shoots the guy in the back and it's game over and nobody gets hurt except for the bad guy, the robber, the

rapist, the murderer, the guy who's committing the crime. I just wish, as in as is the case with a lot of the things that I'm not like for or against, I just wish that there was something, you know, if there was going to be an argument to be made that

everybody should be allowed to at least carry or have the opportunity to take courses to be an argument to be made that everybody should be allowed to at least carry or have the opportunity to take courses to be validated for a carry license open or concealed otherwise i just wish that there was a you know whoever was presenting this argument would be able to present it with a massive data proving that this caused more or helped more than it caused you know and that doesn't happen as much It's easy to find accurate data on lots of things. You can find out data about diseases. You can find data about cars. Finding data about gun crime is virtually impossible because both sides are collecting

data and both sides have an agenda. So you really got to apply common sense at times. Is it a good idea for every elementary school teacher to be packing heat well if they went through a six-week course and they're a competent adult who's like who's passed a few tests then maybe so do you want to hand one out to everybody absolutely not i i yeah a person who's trying to do good and doesn't know how to use a gun is almost as dangerous as a person who's trying to do evil and does know how to use the gun. You know what I mean? Like, you don't want some amateur shooter like, don't worry, I'll get him.

Bang. Ah, you got me. I'm so sorry. Bang. Ah, you got me. So let's say you've got a teacher and he's at a violent school, right? Let's establish that. Let's say that some schools have more violence than others and this is one of the bad ones.

Sure. And now that you know that the teachers are armed. Or at least you see the same guy every day. You know which teachers have guns. I feel like it might be dangerous in the same way that giving a prison guard a gun is dangerous. Prison guards

have batons and when they need real backup, those guys come in. The teacher has the gun though it should be a concealed carry thing i feel like i think they would figure it out i feel like i'd see put a target on their back where it's like shoot me what are you gonna do shoot me yeah shoot me first and then once i'm down everybody's like oh fuck the guy is down we better do with this idiot who has the gun says if i sat in front of someone for an hour a day i think i'd know who was printing who's printing yeah that's what the gun shows through in your pocket or your waistband or

whatever i think i'd know who was printing i just this this further backs that like there's no there's no definitive like thing that you can present to everybody and be like look here are the reasons why this is a beneficial thing. It's a lot of like, alright, so we're in this scenario, and this happens, wouldn't you want to be prepared? Yes, everybody wants to be prepared. But, that's not almost ever the case.

So like, yeah, it might save one, but it's just like, you need to do better. The people that we do trust with guns without a second thought, like security guards and police officers, why are they so fucking special that they get a gun? What did they do? Do these guys have law degrees? Did they have

tactical firearms training? Like a spec ops commando? Most security guys don't get guns. Let me tell you what cops have to do. You know what? To qualify for the police shooting qualification is at seven yards seven yards at seven yards with my pistol i will put every single round inside of a quarter

every fucking time just about like i i feel comfortable shooting your fingernail off at seven yards it's just it's so close and all they got to do is you know at seven yards i can hit a brake light every time right think of how big that is on a car that's what i'll hit every time every now and then kyle talks of like hey shoot an apple out of a hand no thank you yeah that's that's a terrible idea never shot an apple out of anyone's hand i've shot a watermelon out of someone's hand before i don't think that that's a good example though like there's so many instances where like poorly trained or well trained but like poorly executed instances where somebody pulls a gun and they're you're just like i don't feel safe either around you or with your abusive power of

said weapon or the fact that you just can't aim that shit as well as i'd hope you could like that's not a that's not a thing that's making me feel like yeah everybody should be able to like take this test that makes me be like fuck no like we need to tighten up on this thing i agree i i think well the qualifications in many states for the concealed like the test woody took i feel like is probably more stringent than what the new north carolina like sheriff's deputy has to do i think they just slap a badge on his ass and hook him up with a Glock. Like, please, aim. I mean, there's plenty of guys in law enforcement who are amazing shots and they're tactical shooters and they go to competitions and shoot three gun and all that stuff. I'm not saying that cops are just in general bad shots.

Oh, sure. But like if you're a New York cop, like I happen to know that the Glocks that the New York cops carry have extra, extra heavy trigger pulls because they were fucking accidentally shooting so many people. Now the trigger pull on that Glock is like, ah, like five or six pounds or something. So now they're even less accurate. More, I think. Yeah, now they're like, you ever have a dream where your punches are incredibly ineffective

or you can't pull the trigger of a pistol to shoot? Yeah, it's like so slow. I don't have any dreams. I have a happy life. What are you guys up to? So when I dream about getting in a gunfight, I'm shooting a monster or bad guys or whatever it is, the trigger will never pull.

No matter how hard I squeeze. And I'll get both fingers in the trigger guard and ahhh! And it won't shoot. That's what I imagine these New York cops. I imagine them like ahhh! Oh, fuck! I missed again. Sorry, lady.

He's already gone. Remember all those reports back in the day? The guy would have an aluminum foil-wrapped burrito, and they're like, drop the gun. Huh? It's Chipotle. And they'd light him up with 30 rounds or something. I looked it up. So it's a 12-pound trigger pull for the NYPD. Jesus!

I can't even lift that with my arm. My first It's a 12-pound trigger pull for the NYPD. Jesus! I can't even lift that with my arm. My first gun had a 7-pound trigger pull, which is kind of on the hard side, but if you're meant to carry it, typically you don't have a really light trigger pull, so it doesn't go all the time. My AR-15 has got a 2.5 or a 3-pound trigger. I bet my

LCP has a heavy trigger. That's a cool workout. To fire your clip, you would beCP has a trigger. That's a cool workout to fire your clip. You would be tired after a clip. Like your finger, you'd have to shake that thing out. God, Lefty's hard. Yeah, that seems... I wish I had a light pistol near me.

I've been working on shooting with my feet. What is that segway i you know it's yeah i i need to go shooting more i want to get i want to get my like i want to get my shot on and really experience the whole range of weaponry the the lcp which is my carry pistol has a five and a half to six pound trigger pull so the the nypPD has 12 and a lot of people say that it's responsible for their terrible accuracy. It's just as you pull the trigger,

squeeze the trigger, whatever. It just sort of knocks your gun off target. If it was really light, you'd be able to sort of take up the slack and it breaks and it. You know when it's going to go off

and it's the more pressure you're applying. Like you said, there's more torque that's going going on There's lots of reasons people push or pull or or you know you can see how you're you're grouping like which what you're doing Like which one of the half dozen things you're doing wrong with the way you're holding the pistol and applying force to and there's Multiple stances that applied all that shit, but anyway yeah heavy trigger pull like that is not conducive to accuracy at all that applied all that shit. But anyway, yeah. Heavy trigger pull like that is not conducive to accuracy at all. In like sniper rifles, you'll see that the trigger pull

gets very light to the point where it's one ounce and one and a half ounces and stuff like that. That's how I have one rifle that's accurate. It's got that super light trigger. Yeah, you want it to go off before you know it basically. Like when you start squeezing

it should kind of surprise you when it goes off. Yeah, 12 you start squeezing, it's kind of surprising when it goes off. Yeah, 12-pound trigger pull, that's clearly something implemented by someone who knew nothing about guns at all. Yeah, I wonder... Even shooting double action on my gun is like six and a half pounds, and that's a little unpleasant. Yeah, I just... You can understand, like, if you try and squeeze something, like, your hand's gonna shake and that's gonna fuck it up. Like, that's just common sense, right? these guys were accidentally shooting people all the time okay they were just sucking i wonder about that like if it's going off i guess they i mean you have to pull it from the holster for it to be going off i guess you do so they were

sitting there with their fingers on the trigger pointing them at people and accidentally pulling the trigger i i can't name any specific circumstance but for whatever reason but because of accidental discharges they they gave them ever extra heavy trigger pulls and maybe that's because of the litigious the litigious nature of new yorkers maybe it's because of a string of high profile fuck ups on their part whether they shot a burrito guy or they you know the gun went off on the side won't ricochet and kneecap some poor kid or something like i could say but after after a while they they really handicapped those guys i feel like i would hate to have to defend myself with a 12 trigger 12 pound trigger pull on a glock i already hate the trigger pull on a glock it's it's

i feel like a glock isn't much of a pistol until you fix that trigger and get a get an aftermarket trigger in there it's better than than the LCP in terms of trigger pull. Yes, the LCP is a real piece of shit. I'm not accurate with that in any sense of the word. You have to be between me and the television I'm looking at for me to be accurate with that motherfucker. I missed a juice box on my back porch one time five yards away. It's so small.

And the sights are not very good. This thing fits in my away. It's just, it's so small that like. And the sights are not very good. Like this thing fits in my hand. Like it's perfect. That's right where I want everything to be. But this one is like, it's like back here. And so like my finger is having to like do something like this to pull the trigger. Some unnatural like motion. The LCP in my head is like, I keep it in my jacket pocket.

And I'm thinking like, I guess if stat guy is like trying to stab me and he's like right here in my face I can I think you're talking about a juice box you're talking about a chest size target then you could hit a skinny guy he could he could you know the cartoons the thing is like hold up that gun you had again That's the kind of gun that most people say they carry but don't Yeah, well actually this was extra-large, but but yeah No, this is a 1911 style, but the particular kind it's a Kunin 357 Magnum 1911 So it's a lot bigger than the standard one. It's got its own custom magazine. It fires these big, sexy 357

Magnum rounds going 1,400 feet per second. Kill a deer with this. I fired a 357 Magnum from a Magnum and that hurt my wrist. But I was also 16. It was not a pleasant weapon to shoot at a shooting range. It was fun,

but it was not something I was like, yeah, I'm just going to totally carry this around on a day-to-day thing. It was not a... You only need to hit once with it. The carry pistols, I love them. I feel like Kyle shoots more than me and has a different opinion. But I might... I don't know how often Kyle carries,

but I carry more often than a lot of people who say they do. And I feel like that's because I got a gun that's Meant to be carried a lot and shot a little and you know you can put it in a pocket of your jeans Have you shot the Ruger LCR? It's like that small I like it. I like it a lot very light 38 or 357 whatever you grab what I like better than that because it's on the opposite end of the spectrum I got it right over here because I'm thinking about buying one of those, because my current handgun is just way too big. Buy it.

Buy it. Definitely. Yeah, I know Kyle likes it a lot. I haven't seen it. I would love to go out and shoot some pistols again. Just, like, ARs and stuff, would love to do it once, but, like, just, like, pistols, there's such a range from, like, a.22 to, like, a.50 caliber bullet. Like, there's such a different range of weaponry there.

It's like really satisfying to be able to like take that like a flight of guns and be like this is the uses for every one of these. There's a range in rifles too. Like a.50 cal is a whole different thing. Every time a.50 cal goes off, it's an event. Like everyone like, all right, get ready. The.50 cal is getting to cover your ear muffs. You know, it's like

some sort of double cover and then when it goes like there's a shock weight like i uh when i shoot a 50 cal it's on a bipod in the grass i've done it a couple times it's always been that there's a shock wave in the grass like all folds over in front of the gun and stands up again so i feel like there's a spectrum of rifles too my brother's got a 50 cal uh muzzle loader black powder rifle that we shoot sometimes like when we're on the farm and it's it's such a bitch to get that thing down in there because like it goes it's so tight when you're trying to pack it in that it's like this can't be how tight it's meant to be it's like yeah just put it in there you just have to cram it down and when you shoot shoot, like, they make the smokeless powder,

but if you actually put the real black powder in there, it just, a newfound appreciation for that wars, for all the wars where that was used, where it was just, bang, and then just a cloud of thick smoke that you cannot see through at all. It's so awesome. What is that, Kyle? Is it the LCR?

No. This is the opposite end of the spectrum to the LCR. This is a Rossi .357 Magnum snub nose. So it's very heavy. Much heavier than it looks. This gun is heavier than... It's much heavier than my Glock.

It's... It's heavier than my 9mm 1911 here. It's heavier than my HK45 here. Is that because it's just like solid metal? It's solid. I feel like I could hammer nails with this, but I feel like if I hit someone with it,

I would completely incapacitate them. And I'd like to have that option, because I don't want to fucking shoot you. I would love to be able to just bash you and get this thing over with. But if you did have to shoot somebody, you could shoot some nice .38s in here. I don't know. I'm shooting.357s in there.

I guess I'm in business this day. And the recoil would be real controllable. It wouldn't be much at all. But even with a.357, it's going to you know, something like that. And I like.357s. Super powerful. It's not a.44 Magnum or something like that. I I like.357. It's super powerful. It's not a.44 Magnum or something like that.

I like the idea of a pretty heavy caliber. I like that round, too. .44 is a little much, it seems. Like, chill out. You don't need that. Like, maybe in your car. Like, I got no problem with carrying one in your car. That's what my grandpa would keep in his truck when he was a trucker.

Six-shot.44 Magnum revolver when he was driving around in the yeah i made a video with a 44 uh we played russian roulette with a watermelon and uh if people want to know what a 44 is like that was one and the watermelon just blew up all over us yeah it's uh the 44 is a business gun but they're fun i I don't have one. I would like to have a comically big pistol. I don't have any use for it. Deagle. I got my.50 cal gold Deagle upstairs.

I've got a.357 chrome Deagle I like, too. You could get one of those Ruger Redhawk hunting that's like 12-inch barrel. Yeah, I know. So it's like to aim it you're like steadying your hand is it 50 cal 44 or 45 colt or maybe it's smith and wesson 500 i'm seeing which is 50 cal but they have that at my local gun store and uh you see it in the display case and it's bigger than my penis. It's like really big. Swear to God. There's a couple 50 caliber rounds. There's the 50 Action Express

and then there's the 500 Smith & Wesson Magnum. You're right. I should clarify. Quite a big difference. They're like $6 a shot. They're pretty expensive. The Express is bigger, right? No, the

500. The Westin 500 is bigger. Well, the BMG is a rifle cartridge. That's the rifle cartridge. It's all the same size. It's what that gun shoots. It's all the same diameter. That's my.50 cal. Is it shaped the same? Like the pistol and the rifle one?

I've never shot a.50 caliber rifle other than the ball-bearing one the right i've never shot a 50 caliber rifle other than the ball bearing one that you shoot out of a black musket rifle but do you have a round for that around i do if you don't probably everyone's seen a 50 cal round there but the standard like big ass fucking yeah google image there's this those things are like when i saw that for the first time when somebody like showed me like this is what a 50 caliber round is and like how sizable it is you just look at it like how can any living creature get hit with this in center mass and and and do anything other than die like the the sheer like isn't it true if it goes even by your head, you could die just from the shockwave of it?

I think that's untrue. But I will say this. I wonder what would happen. You said any living thing, right? Like, what happens if you shoot a blue whale? You know, like... Okay, you're right. But look at the size of that. Would it? I don't know. Is it, though?

I think it would get stuck in, like, the five feet of blubber. You're probably right, because they don't go very far through water. All right, well, let's take the blue whale out. You're just shooting this. Yeah, but a killer whale I think you might kill with. Kyle, no. Orca, you don't think so? What living animal could take a.50 caliber round to center mass and live?

.50 BMG. None of them. Now, wait, have you considered blue whale? Yeah. That's like a 200-foot animal, though. So as it's jumping out of the water... Yeah, have you considered blue whale? Yeah. That's like a 200 foot animal though. As it's jumping out of the water Yeah, you shoot it. Yeah, I could kill a blue whale I guess.

It wouldn't insta-die but I don't know. I think it would get caught in the blubber. Have you seen the Mythbusters where they shoot into the water? Yeah, it only goes like 2 inches. Yeah, so what they do is for people who haven't seen it, they shoot different rounds into the water, like 9mm,.45, maybe a shotgun slug, et cetera.

And none of them go quite as far. The movie myth they were testing is the people who swim away from bullets. And most of the bullets stopped in a, to me, surprisingly small amount, like 18 inches was a long one and then they shot the 50 cal and i want to say it went less than a foot like it didn't travel far and then everyone was so much mass that it just exploded and and i think the faster it went like the bigger issue it had right because because water doesn't compress it has to move out of the way so the faster the bullet traveled the the less the less distance it went through the water.

And yeah, 50 cal. Everyone was like, well, this is the one that's going to go 12 feet through the water. This is ridiculous. Wait till you see it. And it went the other direction. I feel like they could have tinkered with the ammo a little bit and gotten better results.

Sure, but it's still, I mean... It was not going to go 20 feet down there. I wonder what the Mythbusters guys are going to do next. You know what's their last season? Retire? No, they're going on tour. Adam and Jamie, they're going on tour. Are they?

I'm pretty sure they're done with Mythbusters and they're going on a country tour. Mythbusters got canceled. Yeah. So they gave them a year notice and they're very excited about that. I keep reading over and over how happy they were. Most shows don't get noticed

that they're getting canceled like that. They got a whole farewell season. So, very cool. They've been around for like how long? Sons of Guns didn't get quite the exit. That's what you get for molesting your daughters. You know, everyone's anti-Peto. No one takes the pro-Peto stance in these things.

I know. You're a lone wolf, Woody. A real pariah. Jesus. That's going to catch up with me someday, too. Yeah. Taking the pro-Peto stance all the time. It'll be right there with the rape squad killer thing.

Oh, but back to what we're talking about. The LCR I like a lot. My sister's carrying that right now. I'd like to get it back from her, to be honest, but she went on a trip one time to Panama City or something, and I was like, here, if you want a gun, take this one. This seems right for you. It's hammerless, which I like.

The hammer's not going to get caught on your purse pulling it out. It's not going to get caught on your pocket, your waistband, any of that shit. It's nice and smooth, so you can jerk it out and use it. It's light. It's really light. It's got a good trigger break. I don't remember having a shot in a while. A lot of times carry pistols have lousy triggers. It's like a thing.

You don't want to accidentally shoot. It's competition guns and stuff like that. Things that you don't carry that have the better triggers as a rule of thumb. I don't know what the LCR has. I like double action weapons because I like both most of the time. The Glock

is cocked and locked right now it's ready to roll there's there's no there's nothing to cock there's nothing there's no safety you know it's i'll have you know i play counter-strike and i like the usps i like that silence usp man it's my favorite yeah that was surprising so on before i ever shot a gun i had watched decades of television about guns and every time like you, the woman on the helicopter has the gun, they're like, do you know how to use that thing? And it's always like, do you know how to operate the safety and stuff like that? And then early on, like, I had an interest in Glocks because I knew the name. I was very surprised to learn that that whole safety thing is bullshit for a large swath of pistols out there.

There's things they call safeties so that if it drops, it doesn't shoot. whole safety thing is bullshit for a large swath of pistols out there there's no there's there's things they call safeties so that if it drops it doesn't shoot that's what this is like if you see the glock has like pokes out there four things they call safeties but go on well i only know of the one yeah it's it's this little thing right here like i'm trying to pull the trigger right now i'm pulling it with a lot of force but my finger's not square onto this little that little here, like I'm trying to pull the trigger right now, I'm pulling it with a lot of force, but my finger's not square onto this little, that little nub that's sticking out, so only when I depress that nub will it actually go off, so. So there's not like a safety switch like I have on my airsoft rifle? You can get a safety on these. I know aftermarket.

For all I know, maybe they've come up with a new model recently that does. But as far as I know, it's kind of an aftermarket thing that you can apply to these and get a safety.

Now I understand why people can accidentally shoot themselves if they don't have like a safety switch. But I also understand the kind of ass backwardsness that a safety switch would have

in a dangerous situation. And then on a gun like 1911, you've got a couple of them. So this one's not ambidextrous. My safety's over here, and it sort of... That's what I'm thinking of when I think of a safety. Mm-hmm. But it's also got my little palm safety back here. So right now, we are clear.

I'm trying to pull the trigger, and the safety is off. Like any other pistol would fire right now, we are clear. I'm trying to pull the trigger, and the safety is off. Any other pistol would fire right now, but not unless I'm gripping the gun and wanting to shoot it. If you were fighting for my gun or we were doing this, the gun can't go off. It's only when the palm safety is depressed back here that it'll shoot. And then with something like the HK, it's got an ambidextrous safety there

that flips up, flips down. And like I said, ambidextrous means both sides. Actually, no, this one is not. Oh, I took it off. I wish... When this one, the feature is if I pull down on the safety, the hammer will drop and I can decock it. So it's got a decocking thing.

You have one of these, right, Kyle? The SIG P226? That's one of the ones that I don't have. I never got one of those. I like them a lot, though. So the Glock, they have... Yeah, it's got only like a decocker. There's no safety at all.

It's just... Nice. Which I don't know if I like that much. There's a firing pin safety i'm trying to get this out there's a trigger safety and then two internal safeties a firing pin safety and a drop safety on the glock neither of which fit what i always called safeties which is the flick of the switch on yeah the thing that stops the trigger from pulling you know in my head the idiot proof one yeah yeah so that's what I was talking about.

I don't mind not having a safety on a Glock. I like knowing that if I grab a Glock, it's hot. It's ready to go. I've never had an accidental discharge. So stuff that works for me maybe doesn't work for the general population. I'm just super, super serious about not pulling the trigger unless I want to. It's a good rule of thumb. Yeah, right?

I don't trust other people as much as I trust you though, so I'm happy to have that. But then with something that's a double action, which means that I can either make it complete the hammer pull and the cylinder rotation with just the trigger, or I can to really... If you notice,

see the trigger's position now? As I cock it, all of that slack is taken up, so if you notice the trigger, see the trigger's position now? As I cock it, all of that slack is taken up. So now I have a much hairier trigger, a much more sensitive trigger. So now it's a very light squeeze to drop the hammer, whereas when it was down, it's... I like that, because, you know, if it's sitting on a nightstand,

I'd keep it like this, but if it's, all right, where's this fucking bad guy at? You know, I think I'd want it like this. That makes sense. Pistol talk. Yeah. You know, I was excited about the local gun show that's like, shucks, this weekend maybe. But I'm reading more and more. Not a good place to get deals.

What gun shows in general? Yeah. Unless it's some used thing where maybe you find a bargain. You should buy a used gun anyway. Like what's the difference? Probably right. I bought that one's used.

That one's used. That one's used. Yeah. About half my guns were used. I like used guns. If there aren't any scratches on it that I don't like, then it's good. You can shoot the barrel out of a gun, but it takes thousands of rounds in a lot of cases.

In a handgun or something, with a competition rifle, they talk about really short barrel lives and stuff like that. You're shooting high-velocity ammunition or what have you. But with a handgun or something. With a competition rifle, they talk about really short barrel lives and stuff like that. You're shooting high velocity ammunition or what have you. But with a handgun, the odds that some guy who had this pistol with no scratches on it before me put 10,000 rounds through it

seems a little low. So I'm always happy to get a used gun. Makes sense. Fast break. Well, I think that's a show okay then uh tucker pimp something twitch uh yeah dude follow me on twitch youtube instagram twitter snapchat facebook uh all the same link i i j e r no i don't have a tinder i i j e r i i c h o i i he's a grinder guy i I am a grinder guy.

I love it. But it's been fun. What is it? The third time I've been on? Sounds like it. Yeah. Always welcome. Always fun to watch people die. Woody! If people want to play Minecraft, where would they go? WoodyCraft.net. Taylor, if people wanted to see you play some video games with your girlfriend, where would we go for that?

My channel. Which is... And if you want to come see me blow up a house, I uploaded the video last week. I drove through the house with an armored personnel carrier, blew it up with a lot of high explosive and low explosive, had a big firing line, had a real good time. We blew up the house with me inside

of a fucking tank. Check that out on FPS Russia. I didn't know we were out about FPS Russia. I know, I just always thought it was out about FPS Russia. Yeah. I know. I just always thought it was kind of like a courtesy thing. Like I was a chameleon or something. I took his face. Yeah, it might have been your best video ever.

You said it was beforehand, and I was like, all right, expectations are high. And then it's like, you know, it might have set a new high. I really enjoyed making it. I had a great time. Yeah. So, all right. Sponsors, Casper have set a new high. I really enjoyed making it. I had a great time. Yeah. So, all right. Sponsors, Casper and MeUndies. If you're interested in mattresses or underwear,

and who isn't, then check out the annotations and links and such. Painkiller already, episode 257. Bye.