Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #261

Episode Date: December 25, 2015

This week on PKA, Joe Lauzon is back after his UFC fight! Guys review some wet platinum ideas, discuss the hype behind Star Wars: The Force Awakens and find out the truth behind the eye drop myth.

We're live! Painkiller Already, episode 261, with our guest, Joe Lozon. Painkiller Already this week is being sponsored by Sherry's Berries. Share some delicious treats with friends and family during the holiday season with Sherry's Berries. There's a link in the description, check them out. And we also want to talk about our second sponsor, Credit Karma. We want everybody to know that they are helping bring the show to you tonight. Credit Karma, for all your credit needs, down in the description as well.

Two links down there. We'll talk more about both of those guys later but yeah got joe lozahn with us tonight what's going on joe how much how's it going ah i just i just woke up i'm fully rested i feel like one of the you know when you get your your uh cell phone out and it's like a hundred percent but you know it's been a hundred percent for like three hours so it's like 101 feel like that just woke up supercharged. Nice. Really? I thought you were going to come in with a nap hangover.

Yeah, kind of a nap hangover. No, I'm ready to go. I do need my coffee though, but we'll work that out soon enough. Yeah, Kitty can bring you coffee. Someone can. So Joe, the hand. It's a little banged up. Yeah, what's the scoop on that?

I didn't know that you heard it. So it was a little sore during training camp the last couple weeks. And I couldn't do a whole lot training-wise. But I was still doing a little bit of training, though. We got a – You lied to me. You told me everything was great. That was like – no, up until then, it was okay. That was like two weeks out, I think.

It was premature. Yeah, two, two weeks out I think it was premature yeah two three weeks out so but I banged up my arm my hand boxing good boxing gloves hand wraps headgear the whole deal still got hurt wasn't from being irresponsible and then I couldn't do a whole lot with it I went saw a hand specialist thought I was gonna pull out of the fight but he told me that I could I could fight with it. So we fought. Wasn't a very good showing. But once I got back, he wanted to cast it right away just because it's the only way I'm going to let it actually heal and rest.

So, yeah. Even before I knew about your hand, I was going to talk about, like, MMA culture has this weird thing about making excuses that I personally don't line up with like I saw um so Rhonda said that early in her fight Holly Holm hit her and then after that like she's like it just wasn't me in there anymore you know I was unintelligent I'm paraphrasing here but she said she was just sort of walking forward into punches and that that that she's better than that she just wasn't the best version of herself because she got hit i heard that and thought oh that makes perfect

sense you know i i think maybe even something similar happened to you in the michael johnson fight you know where he got you with a good one early and then you just weren't the best version of you anymore but uh everyone was hazing her it was in there. What do you mean it wasn't you? You're making excuses. It's like, no, just laying out how it happened. It's like unless they do what you did in your fight, no excuses, great fight in that tweet. The MMA fans are just harsh.

I mean, stuff's going to happen. You know what I mean? So my hand was a little bit sore, right? But that's not an excuse. My hand was a little sore. I'm sure Evan Dunham had other injuries that he was dealing with too. So it's kind of all a wash. I've had some of, like, my best fights, my best performances off of, like, really, like, what you consider terrible bad training camps with injuries

and everything else. But it doesn't matter. I show up to fight. I fought. You know, if I want to use it as an excuse, I should have pulled out of the fight. But I didn't. You know, I thought I could get it done. I didn't If I want to use it as an excuse, I should have pulled out of the fight, but I didn't. I thought I could get it done. I didn't. That's it.

Evan Dunham beat me up. What an awful... Every time we have you on, I just try and put myself in your shoes for what your job is. If I had a bad day at work at something, I wouldn't come home with a bloodied bruise. Everybody's like, it was that bad.

I could kind of play it off. When you get shit rocked, it's there for a while and you just have to live with it. It sounds horrible. I definitely got beat up a little bit, but I didn't feel like it was any worse than a hard sparring session. I mean, we wear headgear, we wear boxing gloves, so bigger gloves. But other than that, I mean, it's pretty much a typical sparring session. I had a lot of bruising on my face just because of the smaller gloves, but I didn't think it was that bad. I was sore after, but it wasn't any worse than a normal sparring session.

When my days are bad, they're really fucking bad. You had a makeup specialist fix you up the next day. Was that for the flight home, or were you just going out on the town? No, no, no. I fought Friday night and then UFC 194, which is the Conor McGregor-Jose Aldo fight, was the next night. I was supposed to corner for Joe Proctor, which we decided that I was not the best option because I couldn't work out with him in the background. I couldn't get him warmed up.

I was super sore. I didn't think it was good just for, you know, I'm going to tell him, oh, I'm going to go out there and kick ass because I look like a raccoon with two black eyes, swollen face. So you're just all swolled up. So I still went to the show, though, and there's a woman, Susie, who does like she has all the makeup stuff before any kind of photo shoots or video stuff we do or whatever. So we texted her, hey, you want to fix the face, this general area?

And the big thing was that I just didn't want to – I didn't want to be bumping into people nonstop and just people – tons of extra attention because I got two black eyes. I looked – I Instagrammed. I looked a lot better with the makeup on i bet i can find it so they make up to you airbrushed so you still had all of that swelling on your face so it was probably more upsetting than seeing someone who was just bruised it was like oh that's joe he's got eyelid elephant that's what he looks like now He looks so much better. There was no redness anywhere. My eye was a little swollen, but that was it. It was so much better.

They wanted you to be the one hyping him up. You just go out there and you go to hell. Go to hell. Don't be like me. Don't let this happen to you. I feel like with a culture like MMA, you almost have to make excuses for yourself because it's like a battle of toughness.

Like an NHL enforcer couldn't get in a big fight, get beat up, and then suddenly be like, yeah, you know, that guy threw a couple big punches and I'm just not the same. It's like, well, that's your fucking purpose. You have to. I don't really care about making excuses.

I think that I've had fights that weren't awesome. I've had fights that went really, really poorly. But I think people know that i i'm gonna show up i'm gonna fight you know and sometimes they're gonna win sometimes they're gonna lose but i don't need to make excuses because um if i'm sure i'm banged up but i'm sure everyone else i'm fighting is banged up too so it's kind of pointless when you said the so i tweeted you that night and uh you said the pattern didn't hold true. What pattern were you talking about? I was like, is he talking about the pattern where if I go to the fight, he loses, and if I stay home, he wins?

That's not the pattern he's talking about, is it? I don't know. Let me go look. Let me go look at – what was your exact tweet? Do you remember? Something close to – I have the score 30 to 24. We'll see what the judges say. I thought it was a different – I thought it was something else.

Hold on. Oh, no, the pattern. The pattern about having – So the pattern used to be that whenever I have a bad training camp, I always have a great fight. This time I had a bad training camp, but I had a really bad fight. I see. That was what I was talking about.

Yeah, I didn't put it together. Yeah. So how, like, I don't know. Walk me through the fight. So Evan Dunham is really good on the ground, black belt in jiu-jitsu. Good striking, a little bit taller than me, a little bit longer than me. There were a lot of different things that he throws that we try to key in on he does like a little like kind of uppercut kind of jab thing that he does uh he finishes the kick a certain

couple different ways um so we try to key in all that stuff we try to do all of our typical stuff that we do against lefties uh but there's some some stuff that was very specific against him but going on the fight so i i almost pulled out of the fight like two two and a half weeks i almost pulled out but um but i i you know calculated risk i i thought that you know maybe i could i would have like i would at least have a good round a first round where i could try and you know put some pressure on him and i could you know maybe beat him but if i didn't beat him in that first round i knew it was gonna be trouble so um the first round was your best round first round was my best round i thought i i i felt like in the very beginning like the first half of

the first round i felt like i was ahead of him a little bit i felt i was learning a little bit better combinations and then he took me down at the very end of the of the round and it kind of like it made my knee lock up he did like a a little throw and it's a throw that uh joe proctor loves i hate when people do it but it worked against me of course so but he took me down my knee locked up for like a split second and then uh but then it was okay we went back after the round you know and then the second round would come out and uh like i hate kicking but one of the things we talked about was you know because he's he's a southpaw we can kick the inside of his front leg like really really hard that's like my power kick is to hit the

inside of his leg it's like i'm gonna try and kick him which i hate doing i just don't like kicking i kick him it worked it worked it worked effectively but i still slammed like this like my my shin off of his knee so now i'm limping a little bit and that didn't help anything and then the third round i tried to fly hill come jump into that and i knew that that was basically like my last ditch effort like i knew i didn't have the the energy to i took him down at the end of the first i thought he did a good job getting up but i didn't think that i had the energy to to try and you know wrestle him down and keep him down there the announcers praised the flying heel hook i don't know if you did you watch the fight commentated i've went to watch it three different times now and i just can't click

on it like i just don't want it because like i don't i don't know if they're saying good stuff i don't know if they're saying bad stuff uh with the flying heel hook in particular they said that uh they're like i like that you know like what he was doing wasn't working so try something new yeah this is what they had to say that makes sense to me definitely had to try it you know in uh in the third round i felt like i didn't have enough energy to try and finish him. But his corner is telling him, like, he has to come to you. He has to come to you. So they had something ready, some kind of – they were telling him,

be patient, it'll be there, it'll be there. So I'm thinking he's going to counter me. He's going to do something bad. So I'm trying to like – I'm kind of stuck, kind of like a rock, between a hard place because I want to pressure him and I want to try to get after him. But I don't really have the energy and I know I'm walking into a trap. So I was kind of stuck.

So I tried to pressure him a little bit, but he teed off on me in that round. I think he outstruck me, I don't know, like 30 to 140 or something stupid. It was a bad night. It wasn't good. Why is your chin so good? I feel like most fighters over 30, they don't have the chin that they used to. But even when you had a bad night on, I can't do names, but Al Aliquinta, right? Another fighter would have dropped on the third one of those shots. And, you know, that lasted a really long time.

Michael Johnson, right? you know that lasted a really long time um michael johnson right uh that was his that his i mean his striking was was perfect that night and that went the distance uh this last one went the distance too why do you think your chin has held up so well um i don't think i've got a great chin but i think that we're very very smart about what we do training wise like if we If we have any kind of concussion or get knocked down bad or anything like that, we cut out sparring for a long time. So my fight didn't go that well. But I won't spar. I probably won't get hit again until probably February.

We'll give it a full month and a half or so before we do any kind of sparring. I think that definitely helps longevity. I think that it's stupid to... So I won't be doing anything because of my hand for a couple more weeks but it would be stupid me to go and spar next week but that's what some guys do like we always take a long a long time off uh after after any kind of fight do you ever think like okay so i used to do some boxing and uh the coaches there would always like blame not being able to find their keys on their boxing experience or anything. Like, do you see that either in you or in people that you know?

Like, some sort of, I don't know, minor trauma type stuff? Not so much with any of my guys. I mean, I've heard all kinds of stories about, you know, guys going, you know, they're done sparring and they go in and they'll, you know, wash up and, like, you know, wash know guys going you know they're done sparring and they're going to the you know wash up and like you know wash up they still have their headgear on and they're trying to like scrub their face through the headgear wow or um one of my guys one time he got kicked in the face he's in the gym just just he slipped off to the side and the kick came up at the same time so it kind of like he kind of slammed his face into the kick that was coming up and um he went outside and was trying to find his car that he sold like six months ago.

And, like, couldn't remember. Like, you know, he was looking for, like, his truck. Yeah. He went on vacation and couldn't remember that he went on vacation. He had, like, zero recollection of, like, his car. Oh, that's the worst. Yeah, that's a waste of money at this point. It's a huge waste of money.

He's looking at the pictures like, I bet that was fun. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I bet I had a lot of fun. Oh, fuck. So, I mean, stuff definitely happens, but it's not common. Like, I've never had anything like that. Like, I got hit in the spine one time.

I definitely got a concussion, and I couldn't remember that I'd broken up with my ex-girlfriend, like, the week before or something like... But that all came back, you know, pretty quick. Did you guys think to Photoshop that guy doing things at his place on vacation that he wouldn't have done? Where you start out with eating dinner with the fam,

and then a little late night dancing, and then he's got a stripper on his lap skydiving, just all these things that he didn't do. We should have done that. We missed a golden opportunity. It's not too late next time next time somebody gets knocked out pretty good that's the night you do the photoshopping that's what joe's gonna do next time

gotta be laying on the ground struggling to get up joe will be yelling at all his guys don't you fucking say a word we're doing this like how long do you get that cast off uh so this is on for three weeks so they i'm not i'm not sure if anything's like broken fractured i don't know it's all kind of the same there wasn't like a clean break but my second and third metacarpal which is so thumb is the first i think thumb's the first index finger is the second middle finger is the third so my second and third were both pretty They were lighten up. I had a CT and MRI and an x-ray and you can see there was damage to both So they couldn't see like a super clear fracture, but the idea was that let's put in a cast

Let's rest it and we'll we'll see kind of you know how it goes so three weeks, and then we'll see we'll reevaluate So in three weeks you might be talking like pins or surgery or something uh he doesn't think so he doesn't think so so the the specialist i have is uh he's the guy that does like all the bruins patriots red socks all that so he didn't think he didn't think it would be a big deal uh he said that uh the you know if we didn't have the training camp then so we did was we did a cortisone shot. We did a cortisone shot the week, week and a half before the fight. And the cortisone shot helped a ton. And I was always hesitant.

I always wanted to stay away from cortisone stuff. But we did a cortisone shot. It made my hand way better. I wish I had gotten a cortisone shot right away because instead I had like a three-week gap of training, whereas I could have been training the entire time with a cortisone shot. Cortisone is just pain management, right? It right uh it helps the inflammation helps a bunch of things swelling so my hand felt like drastically better right after that so he said that you know if we get another training camp you know in my hand my hand it might be 100 okay by the time we're punching again with it you know in a month or so but it might not too so if if it was a recurring

thing we do a cortisone shot a second time in three or four months, whatever it is. And then we'd do the fight camp and then we would maybe do surgery at that point if it became a recurring thing. But we think it's going to be okay. Very cool. Can you do any training at all right now?

I don't really know. I can't. They don't want me doing anything. I think I'll be okay. My hand feels so much better right now. I feel like I could grapple. I was grappling fine. I was doing that stuff. It didn't bother me that much on fight night. It was a

little tender, but it wasn't a big deal. I was hitting mids with boxing gloves on and just wrapping it well. It was fine. I was doing wrestling stuff. It was fine. It just wrapping it well and it was fine I was doing wrestling stuff it was fine it wasn't so much how it affected me the night of the fight as much as it was a couple weeks prior it was just it was a little tough. Has it occurred to you this might be

God's way of punishing you for breaking my hand? I thought about that but then it would be Kyle that was in a cast right now Kyle because I broke you lying bastard that's what happened. I did think about that though but then it would be Kyle that was in a cast right now. Lying bastard. That's what happened. I did think about that though.

Did you? I brought my Xbox controller to the hand surgeon and they cast, they like when they, you know how that fiberglass is like pliable at first and it dries. So we held it so that it like had a groove in it to hold an Xbox controller. I told them that my priority was I had groove in it to hold an Xbox controller.

I told them that my priority was I had to be able to hold an Xbox controller. But I didn't think about bringing a controller so I had already left. If I had thought of it in advance, if I had been smarter like you, I definitely would have brought the controller with me. But luckily I got home and I was able to hold the controller. Not too bad.

It's a little uncomfortable but we'll make it work. The Scuff sent me too bad. So it's a little uncomfortable, but we'll make it work. The Scuf sent me one too. I don't know, but in COD, you hold the thumbstick down to sprint, but I had a programmable back so I made it so I could press the button on the back to sprint because it hurt

my thumb. I thought about trying to take a Dremel tool to it. I mean, what's really important? There's probably nothing important here. The Rumble Pack thing's in there, but you probably don't use that anywhere. It's turned off anyways. You're just going to shave it off?

This controller kind of sucks. I might take a Dremel to it. I bet it feels like you can't get it deep enough into it. Yeah, it's like there. Yeah, so he needs to take all that material off so it feels like... Chop it here. It probably would be more comfortable. I get sweaty hands when I'm playing.

But you report back with success there. I'm going to let you storm this hill. This controller sucks anyways. It gets stuck, so I'll use the test. Oh, it's worn out. Yeah, it's just worn out. Is Destiny still your main game right now? Destiny at Fallout.

I got super into Fallout. So I couldn't train, so I banged up 40 hours my last week home. Full-time job at Fallout. I mean, it wasn't that I wanted to train, but I couldn't, so I had to do something. So I played a lot of Destiny. So you're not coaching classes or anything right now? I wasn't that much last week.

This week, not at all either, because of my hand. And everything else is sore. Probably next week, I'll start teaching classes again. Are you playing COD at all? I bought it. I got zombies. I bought it for zombies, really. I think I played like three matches of multiplayer, though. That's it.

You should join us for zombies. It's a good time. We've played a good bit of zombies. I'll play zombies with you guys for sure. I think we've got, you know, there's a whole like mini game to just turn on the power and everything and the perks. I don't even know where to start there. When you play with them, trust me, you don't need to.

Like, they're just like handling shit in the background. I don't even know what's happening. Chalupa monsters are flying all over the place, grappling and stuff. I don't like shit being done for me, though. I want to know how to do it myself. We'll show you how to do it. The thing with Woody is he's like the child that we all take care of in zombies because he'll be like, why am I the one having to watch this zombie?

Like a little kid complaining that he has to watch the cat all the time. That's not true I've said that zero times. Where you're complaining about watching him and meanwhile we're like alright hit the blue button and then now sprint over there do this. How many times has this happened where we go nobody kill that last BANG! Oh why? Why? That may have happened a couple times. That's all you hear is just, oh, well, shucks. Can we still quit next round? What we are you referring to?

Let's do it next round. Every once in a while, we'll be like, Woody, you turn into the Chalupa monster. Zoot up here. Turn on the power. Right down here. Turn on the second switch. You got it. Woody's like, okay, up here.

Don't drop down. Turn it on. Drop down again. Turn this second switch you got it what he's like okay up here go drop down turn it on drop down again turn this on i got it and then he'll turn into it and suddenly it's like he handed off the controller to the deaf guy sitting next to him and it's just spinning around just i can't get it i can't get it until the whole timer is out it gets frustrating when you turn into the chalupa all of a sudden you're kind of discombobulated. You're like, whoa, what's going on here? Well, that actually happened one time. It did happen, but it only happened once. And so they've given me the Chalupa monster tasks like three times.

The first two, it was really straightforward. It wasn't a problem. The third time, like the grapple thing wasn't lit. I had to walk forward and I was just embarrassingly slow at figuring that out. And yeah, mistakes were made. If you had made it once, it definitely happened way more than once. It's not true. Dude, I've been telling stories on this show for five years,

never been caught in a lie. It's because they're all true. New information filters in, and it fits like a puzzle piece because they're all true. The retell piece is fun. this might be hard to believe sometimes i retell stories they all match yeah you should retell more and more stories so the new zombies is fun they um one of the major additions i think they've added is that you can pack a punch your gun the second time, and it gets a special ability.

And so that's a lot of fun. So you pack a punch once, and it gets better. But then you pack a punch the same weapon a second time, and it gets something further. So it's like a third level? Yeah, yeah. So it gets a special ability. One of them randomly turns one of the zombies you shoot into a turned zombie, and now he works for you.

So all of a sudden, he's just like, fuck this. He starts just like, beating the shit out of any of the zombies near him, and he's a beast. Like, he one hit kills them,

and kills maybe four or five by himself. Oh yeah, if you're training, like kiting the zombies, and you shoot with the turned weapon, and that first guy in the front turns, all the other zombies are now like, who's this fucking guy, this scab?

And they start attacking him, and he's just like Neo in The Matrix, where you can't throw enough at him. Like, he'll take down eight, ten of them, because he's just one hit. Even around 40. Isn't there one that's like a Gersh device or something, too, where it creates, like, fires, like, the ball or something?

Yeah. Wasn't it the Gersh device? The Chalupa. Yeah, the... Whatever. or something too where it fires like the ball or something? Yeah. The special weapon in this one is like a weird tentacle monster that you pull the trigger and it shoots like a black hole and it sucks them all in. Yeah, it's basically a Gersh device. I love that my mispronunciation

has really caught on and they've become the official names. Like, oh yeah, that's the Chupacabra gun. That's why it's onabra gun. Yeah. That's why it's on the PKA merch store. All of it is available now. That's the thing. If you go to painkilleralready.net I'll put a link in the

description. But painkilleralready.net we sell merch now. So get it in time for Christmas maybe. Yeah. Or just get a great Arbor Day Jr. Day present for all your friends. Hey, Arbor Day is right around the corner. You're going to want a shirt. It's the day with these unknown holidays.

Martin Van Buren's birthday. Every week we'll have a new reason to buy merch. There's some good stuff in there, though. I was going through the designs with Taylor the other day. I really like a lot of those shirts. Everybody's got their own little funny thing, and

you've got our cartoonized faces on one of them. Yeah, I like them all. For drinking episodes, I want us to all get one of the big frosted beer glasses, which that'll also force woody for drinking episodes to drink something other than milk and uh kalua or whatever he's always like oh look i got stuck drinking this awful thing that that's really hard to quantify it's always something like that like

like oh that's so unfair i come up big in the drinking episodes. I drank a lot. People couldn't. No, Woody did. I'll defend Woody here. Woody did drink a lot. And you can, because Woody never drinks. And so he'll be sitting there. And the beginning part of the show, he's drinking with the rest of us.

And then, like, two and a half hours in, I noticed that, like, he's been sat back for, like, 40 minutes. Like, what's he doing? And you'll be like, I can't tell if I'm faking this or if my face is just hot and my face is just hot and it's like yeah you're not faking it you're forward to the head good there's Joey hey

that guy Wings definitely a much better drinking show guy than Wings ever was again honestly we should make our own PKA Woody's definitely a much better drinking show guy than Wings ever was. Well, Wings faked it. Again, honesty over here.

We should make our own PKA beer. We should have a micro brew and we should drink that. That's what we should do. Yeah, PKA is IPA. There you go. Yeah. Can you say hi? That was good.

That's awesome. He'll say anything you want, I think. Really? Because I was wondering, does he have a... Hey, can you say Woody? Hey. Say Woody. Woody. Woody.

I'll take it. How's he doing with... Can you say racial epithets? Can you say Kyle? Can you say hi, Kyle? I like it. That'll do. Not bad.

So he has mild hearing loss, right? Mild hearing loss, yeah. Has that impacted his speech development? Nope. No, he's actually way ahead. Really? Yeah, he's ahead. Because we go to speech therapy every week.

Uh-huh. So he's doing pretty good. Great. Is that what's in his ear? He's got little tiny hearing aids. Little hearing aids. Both sides. When you do speech therapy.

I love his outfit so Katie and I have matching pajamas with him we got them so Katie got us both matching for this year of Christmas now we know what the Christmas card is yeah can you sit Can you sit?

Want a Wubba? Can you sit? You want Wubba? Here you go. I want Wubba. Wubba. I really like other people's kids. Yeah, right?

Those are the best kids. Give them back? Like hanging out with Woody's kids was great. Hanging out with my sister's kids is even okay. Really any time. Anything more than like three hours. Yeah, it's like a road trip.

I love to have the right idea for the fun uncle vibe. You just go in, you set the really high for fun, and then you leave. I don't think children for more than three or four hours at a time really form me. It's like a road trip where you're like, yeah, it's going to be great. We're going to drive to the Grand Canyon. And you're like, four hours in,

you don't want to go to the Grand Canyon anymore. You just want it to be over. It's loud and messy. It's got that sticky stuff all over its face. You don't even know where you got it. It's not your job to clean him up. No. No, it's not. And I refuse to.

It's your job to tell him, hey, we're going to play hide and go seek, and then he runs around all sticky, touching things, and then you leave. That's a cute kid. Yeah. Can you say, can you say hi? Hi. Hi. Can you say hi Woody? Hi. Say hi Woody.

Hi. Say Woody. No, maybe not. What's your character in Fallout like? My character? I did, it's called, I looked it up on YouTube. I did like a scientist build, so I did like all max intellect. So I basically have like power armor, and I just destroy everything. I did the whole main

story arc i joined the institute uh i don't know and i i like i like just building uh bases i guess i can't get into the base building thing i i built a big one but it doesn't look good it's just like like you have to have x amount of beds to get your population up so they're just out in the open in the rain like you have to have like so many beds to get your population up. So they're just out in the open in the rain. Like you have to have like so many generators. So I just build them all right next to each other in a little pile. Like I just hit the numbers that it wants me to hit and forget what it looks like or anything like that.

But my guys are all melee. My current guy has a luck. His luck is 12 as he's walking around. Like I got his luck skill to 10 and then i got the bobble head and then i put on a lucky hat so i'm at 12 right now and i've got a everything's really in luck so i'm just always just randomly falling ass backwards into winning these huge battles like it'll be five guys versus me and they're all higher levels but i'm just tripping over and like their bullets bounce off me sometimes, just don't even work.

Like the mysterious strangers coming in and taking them out for me. You're like the Mr. Bean of the Fallout universe. Yes, exactly. Or Mr. Magoo or something like that. Just this worthless character who just mucks his way into winning everything. It's great. And you're using the retarded

bonus. Yes. Idiot font. I'm constantly getting triple XP. I did max intellect. I have science 4. I have all the high engineering stuff. Anytime I do any kind of mission, I pretty much level up.

I'm like level maybe like 50 or something stupid. My intelligence is at 1 on this character because the lower your intelligence the more likely you get that idiot survive and it hits you so every now and then I'll do a mission that's worth like

800 XP like a pretty big mission but then I'll hit it on that one and it's just like you rank up twice you rank up twice or maybe even three times that was one mission so yeah I've been enjoying Fallout. I've been playing just about every day.

If my girlfriend's not giving me the evil eye and wanting some attention, then that's what I'm doing in Fallout. I just don't know what I want to do now because I did all the main storyline stuff. So I've just started. I've kind of been doing side quest stuff, but I haven't touched it this week, but I basically finished the main quest and started doing more

side quest stuff and more settlement stuff right before I had to leave. I got to get back to it this week. I wrote my second character. I've played through the game once and I went with the Minutemen, then I played through again and went with the Brotherhood of Steel and I'm playing through again right now and I'm going with the Railroad and I think I like them better.

What about the Institute? I stuck with the Institute on one of my playthroughs till pretty deep in but then i don't know there's a natural sense i just wanted to to take the whole thing down and kill them all and take my son out and all that stuff so i was thinking about myself i just wanted all their tech i wanted all the best stuff so i joined the institute i figured they had the best stuff yeah and they got that cool underground base it's pretty badass yeah i haven't played it that much just watching melissa play for our let's play but i like how wildly different all the groups are in terms of just power it seems like like the institute they seem like a real gang with a real hierarchy and then the minute men is like by comparison a

neighborhood watch because i don't have it's just that one black guy he's like say it's the one guy they have the old lady who's addicted to all the substances and says weird cryptic things at you yeah more so that she's just talking to hear herself talk and have one last strand of sentience keeping her here the the minute men are such bullshit because you basically got that black guy preston and he and he like dubs you the general and he's like oh general guess what i got some more shit for you to do and it's like if i'm the general shouldn't i be telling you what to fucking do like so you're no i'm the king like it seems to me like there's only two minute man there's me and there's you and you just tell me what to do and call me general like that's the nature of the thing and how good is an organization like if

you went to work like for a new job and three days later they were like you know what you're ceo now you want this company i'd be like no because we are running a ponzi scheme or something and i'm gonna take the fall for this and i'm not doing that i don't want it i don't want anyone i don't want to lead anyone that wants me as a member. Okay, so here's the real question. Are you bottle cap glitching? No, no. I don't know how to.

I don't want to know how to. It's so easy. I don't want to know. It would ruin the game for me. That game would be like bottle cap glitching. So bottle cap glitching is basically you can you take advantage of the way like buying and selling I'm not telling them. You take advantage of buying and selling and basically you get bottle caps

are like the currency. So you get a ton. Like you don't get a ton like a vendor can only hold so many bottle caps. So you basically get all of their shit and whatever they have for bottle caps. And then you store it all. So it's like So basically what

happens is you you buy you buy like how you buy their ammo like one thing of ammo and then you sell back one piece to them and then you sell back all the rest and then it does something with the values where it's basically you keep it you get like one magic bullet you get to keep selling it back to them but instead of you losing money you're gaining money the entire time. So you end up like you start a trade and it's like they're supposed to give you like 10 million bottle caps. You're like oh well I'll take like 950,000

bottle caps and I'll take all of your shit. It's supposed to be a loss for me but it's really a win for me because I get all of their stuff and I get like their 400 bottle caps. It's kind of a... I like glitches like that, but then when I implement them,

I always get mad at myself. You guys are my... I don't know. Joe, you're 30? 31. So you were too old for the Pokemon craze that came out, right? Did you still get into it? I played a little bit, but not much.

I missed the craze. There were so many cheats and codes in that game that you could do. Instant level 100 max stats for the one that came out in 97. I would do it every single fucking game and then I would play maybe three minutes after I did it because there's nothing to play towards.

I remember playing Mega Man back on old school Nintendo. We would hold the right button. You put the couch on the right button and then you tape down the B or something and you could jump super high and you could fall in pits and you could jump out.

I'm not above cheating. You'd tape the button down? I think we just put the couch on top of the controller. On the second player controller. I think that's how it worked. I'm sure other people remember it better than me. I think it was on the second controller. You'd have to plug it in

and you'd put the leg of the couch on the right direction on the second controller. And you could jump super high. It was awesome. Good times. I only played that game once. Woody, you probably had some great cheats for Pong. Pong.

Bigger paddle. I've got a bunch of fights I want Joe to call winners on. It's going to be a lightning round thing. You ready? For this coming week? Actually, some of these are just completely made-up fights, and some of them are for this coming week. Are you ready?

I'm ready. I hope I know who everyone is. These are all pretty big names. RDA versus Cerrone. Cerrone. Cerrone wins, yeah. McGregor versus Cerrone. Lightning round, baby.

Cerrone. All right. Honda versus, I'm sorry, Holly versus. Holly versus Rhonda rematch. Holly. Okay. Luke versus We Rhonda rematch. Holly. Okay. Luke versus Weidman rematch. Edgar versus McGregor.

Edgar. Alright. GSP versus Nick Diaz. GSP. Alright. Cormier versus Jones. Joanna Champion versus Thug Rose. Joanna. Joanna Champion versus Thug Rose.

Joanna. Pat Barry versus Joe Rogan. Pat Barry is a lot bigger than Joe. But they have to eat three hot brownies right before the fight. All right, so you picked Joe or Pat? No, no, no, Pat. All right, Joe Rogan versus CM Punk. Oh, Rogan, all day.

Alright, Cruz versus TJ? Uh, I think TJ. Okay, Faber versus TJ? TJ. Uriah Faber. TJ. Johnny Hendricks versus Uriah Hall? Uh, Hendricks. Alright, Verdum

versus Velasquez? Verdum. Lawler versus Condit Velasquez. Verdum. Lawler versus Condit, last one. Lawler. All right. How many did you agree on? Who did you disagree on? Most of them.

I don't know that I picked winners for a lot of them. I had Rogan over Pat Barry. Pat Barry's huge. Who is Pat Barry? Pat Barry was a UFC fighter, and he's an amazing guy. He has a YouTube channel. It's impossible not to just love this guy. But he's a striker.

Rogan's probably 200 pounds. Pat Barry's got to be 240, 250. There's a big size difference there. But Rogan's a black belt in BJJ. Yeah, but still And Pat Barry is... And Joe Rogan's like 5'7 or something. Pat Barry's also a guy that trains 100% as a professional fighter.

Rogan's, you know... Rogan's a beast. Well, Pat Barry's retired, right? I don't think so. I thought... I don't know. Part of my decision was I thought he was retired. I could be wrong. Even if he wasn't, I still think he's training a lot more than Rogan. Well, he probably lives in a gym.

Yep, probably. He's coaching his girlfriend and stuff. If it were to get high and think about the universe contest, I'd be like, that's the funnest fight. What do you got there, Kyle? I've got a Jeremy story. Oh, there's a gun. I got it back. I got a Jeremy story. Oh, there's a gun.

Got it back. I've got a Jeremy story. I finally got my gun back from him. So Jeremy, my buddy Jeremy, is well known for his borrowing expertise. He's a professional borrower. Right now there's a dirt bike in the back of his truck, not his. He is hard on the things he borrows. He doesn't treat them well um he has had borrowed from me at one time fifteen thousand dollars worth of firearms

that i didn't know about i was like hey jeremy could you bring all the guns that you have borrowed and back to my house i'm gonna clean them up put them in the ball let's do that and uh fifteen thousand in a pile i'm like shit i didn't know you had my, shit, I didn't know you had my.50 cal. I didn't know you had my HK. Both of my Glocks. He had all this shit. And he borrows things like ATVs, trucks. Always get them returned. And they're either muddy or dented up.

Treated poorly. He's not good at taking care of your shit. And so I got all my guns back from him. Fuckers never seeing my tent fly. Maybe two years ago, something like that. I thought. But then the other day, I was paying his buddy Josh to work for me, doing some work. And Josh mentioned that Jeremy has a.40 caliber pistol.

We were just talking about different calibers. He's like, yeah, Jeremy's got a.40 caliber pistol. And I was like, what kind? I was like, what kind? He's like, I don't really know. I was like, semi- was like what kind he's like i don't really know i was like semi-auto he's like yeah i was like nick sort of a silver nickel plated kind of thing yeah yeah yeah i was like is it a car he's like yeah i think it is i was like that's my fucking pistol he's not supposed to have that fucking pistol he's supposed to give giving me all of that shit back he still

got my car i thought my car was stolen i thought thought it was lost. I thought I, you know, this or that happened to it. I don't even know where that pistol is. It's a seven or $800 gun. So Jeremy comes and works for me on Monday or Tuesday and helps me film some. And at the end of the day, I was like, Hey, uh, I want that, uh, that car pistol bag. He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll get that car. Can I borrow your Kimber whenever I get it? And I was just like, for whatever reason, because he just had finished, I was like, sure, sure, you can borrow the Kimber. And in my mind, I'm thinking like, I'm going to get my fucking pistol. You ain't getting nothing. So today, yesterday came by and I couldn't find him to pay him. I owed him $75 for working for me. And so today, I go over again to where I thought he might be he's not there so

i just left the cash there with a little envelope with his name on it i figured they'd get it to him and uh and so he pulls up at my fucking house today and comes on in he's like carl carl and i'm just like jerome he's just like he's gonna come up in the house, and he's like, come get money. And I was like, I left it over at the shop. It's over there. He's like, oh, I guess I got to drive back over there. Can I get this Kimber while I'm here? Because it was sitting on the table.

And I'm like, sure. Where's that car at? He's like, I'll put it in your truck. And I was like, all right, all right. And I walked back to my bedroom, and I'm like, you know what? No. And I walk back out there, and he's in my fucking closet looking for a holster for the pistol he's about to borrow again. He's like, do you know where the little plastic holster is that you got for the 1911s? He's like, I see all of these.

He's like, I see this Savoy leather ones you've got here and the snake one here. That's nice, too. And I like this super rig you got, but I really want the hard plastic one that's low profile. And I'm just like, you know what, Jeremy? No, give it back. Give it back. I was like, you don't take care of my shit. You're not borrowing any more shit. I was like, it's over. It's done. I love you to death,

Benny. And by this time, he's like awkwardly shuffling out of the house because I've scolded him. I was like, I love you to death, but no more borrowing. You don't take good care of my shit. So, got my pistol back finally because I've like scolded him. I was like, I love you to death, but no more borrowing. You don't take good care of my shit, so. Got my pistol back finally. I've wanted this thing back for a while.

It's nothing extraordinary, but it's my fucking gun. So, get it back now. This keeps happening. So he was treating you like a library. Yeah! Do you hear my dog's freaking out? This keeps happening! It's like I'm being attacked or something. There's never any...

Ghosts. Could be ghosts. Why are the dogs freaking out? Maybe you shouldn't have bought a giant cathedral with these big Vatican halls that echo so much and filled them with these monsters. I keep clearing the house. I'm fucking going around.

I was dying to watch the video of your house and then I realized it was 50 minutes. maybe next one there's two more coming there's gonna be a tech tour and an outdoor tour i'm gonna see what the dogs are barking you just gotta flip through the video like don't watch from the start go to the description you can click on all the time links ah there we go yeah check it out. You can go see the eastern porch and the northern porch. Yeah, I went on a tour of Sears Tower and it didn't take that long.

No. No, if I got a detailed, you know, tour through the Pentagon from a five-star general, he would wrap that shit up in 25 minutes. He'd be like, oh, you know what, that's R&D, nothing that great down there.

And I'd be like, all right, we can skip it. And then, no, what, that's R&D, nothing that great down there. And I'd be like, alright, we can skip it. And then, no, but Woody's like, alright, this is the closet drawer, I keep socks here, I keep dark socks here, and then I keep all my t-shirts up. And it's like, okay, show us the stuff that you have

that we don't have, because that's what this tour's about. You don't watch Cribs to see the guy open up the dishwasher and be like, yeah, it's got a disposal in the bottom. You can just put food in that shit. I wanted to see the drawer where he keeps all the sauces from the restaurants and stuff, like the extra Arby's sauce packets, the horsey sauce, that sort of thing. He does that?

You don't do that? Doesn't everybody do that? Am I the only one, really? Most of them aren't that great you get from restaurants. I think the ones I just mentioned are great. Like the Arby's horsey sauce. It's like a horseradish mayo type sauce. Yeah, that stuff's delicious.

Any of the stuff around here. Any like sauce packets or anything that are left over, put those things in a drawer. There might come a rainy day where I'm too lazy to go to the store and get some hot sauce and there it'll be. All you need is ketchup and mayonnaise. Ketchup and mayonnaise will take you anywhere. That's pretty true. I like mustard, though.

Mustard and mayonnaise. I don't know what special sauces are at restaurants. It's ketchup and mayo and something else added, right? Yeah. Yeah, I've been working on different fry sauces lately, and most of them are ketchup, mustard-based. And I've been working on different fry sauces lately, and most of them are ketchup, mustard-based.

And I've been experimenting with those with pickle juice and spices and stuff, trying to perfect my fry dip. Because that's a thing I do. What? How many variations do you have so far of Uncle Kyle's fry dip? Three. Three. There's one that uses pickle juice. There's one that's sort of a garlic parmesan thing. And there's another one that's just

different ratios of mustard and mayonnaise. Hmm. Yeah. Y'all get a fry fry later. I like Uncle Kyle as your branding for these kinds of things. Yeah, me too. I want you to wear that Uncle Kyle t-shirt, Uncle Kyle's Tranny Service and Repair.

I'll wear that shit. It's hilarious. I'll wear it as soon as I get here. I think Colin dubbed me Uncle Kyle. I think that's how that came about. Certainly none of my actual nieces or nephews have ever called me that or anything. But yeah, Uncle Kyle's tranny service shirt. I thought of that when I was driving

the other day. Now that I see it on the shirt, I like it even more. It looks like a real shirt that you would buy. Exactly. That's what I like about it because that's what you want when you're doing merch. The last thing, everybody of course is always like, yeah, shut your cock holster.

Just ride it out just like that. Or maybe just put a big hairy cock there. That's even more slappy in your face like I'm an asshole shirt. Who wears those? If I see you wearing that in public, I'm like, what a fucking asshole. But if it's something that can blend in with the rest of society and not make you look like a douchebag. On one hand, I agree with you. I would wear the Uncle Kyle's tranny service or whatever before that,

shut your cock holster. But back when I sold shirts a lot, my most popular one was bitches be crazy. So people buy things. I wouldn't wear that around. Uncle Kyle's tea service. I did wear it around. And I just wouldn't wear that around service i did wear it around and i like just wouldn't be aware like i'd find myself at the supermarket and i'm like really you know i got the bitches be crazy shirt on i have a few shirts that i guess i can't wear just anywhere i think

about it before i you know wear it like i've got i'm trying to think. Somebody gifted me a Cheech and Chong shirt in like 90% of places. That's cool to get to wear that. But if I'm going to see some church ladies that my mama might know, I don't need to be repping Cheech and Chong going into Milo or anything. I don't have any shirts to have any cursing or sexual double entendres or anything crazy like that. I don't think I have any anymore. I used to have a bunch of asshole shirts. Even the gun ones.

Like I plead the second. You can wear that in a lot of places but there are places where maybe you don't want to just preach your political beliefs. I can't think of any. I'm trying to think of something. I'm in Georgia, man. I don't think of any i'm trying to think i'm in georgia man i could i don't i don't think there's anywhere out that i would wear that uh it's funny when you're

around gun people like not you but like i me or something i'll go to a gun show and people are just openly like yeah fucking obama he's a cocksucker right and it's like i guess that's safe to say here but he's buttoning up his other shirt to cover up the 2008 hope oh yeah i mean who that guy i mean it's a real black belt for you right like for those people do we right am i everybody agree like dude that i i started to talk about on pk and like that i was sort of the i was in the camp that this whole republican racist thing is overblown that it's completely possible to dislike obama and his policies without being racist but seeing as how the leading republican candidate is running on like a pro-racism platform the whole like no muslims in the country

um what was the oh of course there's the big wall for the keep the mexicans out and you know who knows what's next probably the darkies and he's just it's like dude every time he says something and i think he's going too far like hey let's violate the geneva convention and just start killing the family members of anyone who's. Like, hey, let's violate the Geneva Convention and just start killing the family members of anyone who's involved in this stuff. It's actually the red meat that his constituents love. Well, it's still possible to support them without being a racist.

I feel like if you're pro-Trump, his major policies seem to be about keeping the Mexicans out, keeping the Muslims out. That's the core of his message. It seems almost like that's incidental that it's Mexicans because that's the country, the one country that illegals are pouring in from. Like if it were Canada, he wouldn't be just ecstatic about it

because they were white canadians you know making the nhl a bigger sport here finally they get on the sdn like they're it's it's so i i it's more of like it's not even racist if you're gonna go with an ester a phobe it'd be like xenophobic at worst but i think it's more that than just i hate mexicans you know he's got a mex wife, doesn't he? A Hispanic wife. Rubio does not. I don't think Trump does. No, Trump's got like a Swedish fucking supermodel type wife, I think.

Well, that's foreign too. He can't be racist. Like that's a little different. Is it Trump that's got the super hot daughter? Yes. It's Trump, right? Yes. Ivanka

was his wife before, I think. And she was hot, but she's probably getting older by now. Yeah. It's not his daughter, though? I thought that was his daughter. I think Ivanka might be his daughter and Ivana is his wife. Oh, then I could easily be confused because those are very close

to each other. Are they both hot? Yeah, they're both hot. Nice. Good for Trump. yeah yeah good for trump yeah good for trump i i uh i can't wait to see this thing play out because i really do think he's so if he's not the republican guy right if they don't if they don't name him their candidate then he could run as a third party and he still retains a lot of his supporters like like enough so that he destroys the election for the republicans anyway so the republicans are really between a rock and a hard place they must be terrified of him running as a third party candidate but at the same time they feel like they got to hit him hard so that they don't have to make him their guy it's uh and and

i really want to see him be their guy though because i think it'll be incredibly entertaining to see him go against Clinton. Is it, though? Yeah, he's hilarious. To me, Trump is just too low-hanging fruit. Like, I feel like a lot of comedians are saying the same thing. Like, we all thought it was going to be hilarious. And then it's just, it's too easy.

It's not clever to say, like, can you believe this goofball? Oh, I don't care about, I don't need Jimmy Fallon to, like, make a parody of Trump and make me laugh. Trump alone is good enough to make me laugh. In that regard, I guess you're right. Yeah, it's for maybe, as far as he goes as fodder for comedians, yeah, maybe it is low-hanging fruit. But I'm not a professional comedian.

I don't care about that. I just want to watch him crash and burn and be a moron on a national stage, say the things that aren't politically correct. And a lot of, you know, I'm not a Trump supporter by any means, but every now and then he'll say something. I'm like, well, that does kind of make sense, right? Like he's just saying what people think, right? But you're not allowed to say.

But it's rare. Most of the time he's just going off the wall with some crazy stuff that really does appeal to a xenophobic group of people. You know, he's got a lot of racist supporters, I would say. I wouldn't say that all Trump supporters are racist, but a lot of them are. I mean, I think that bandito, bandit as they're calling him, who like shot the Sikh gas station clerk. Like, he had a Trump 2016 sticker right on the back of his truck he had some trump ammunition like i hope there's trump branded ammo why i there's i would buy trump ammo right yeah some people were saying that

trump running for president on the box it would be a trump nine millimeter keep them out keep them out that's it what was the movie with chris rock where they did the thing where he was running for president and they had like all like they like the kkk like for his opposition and i don't remember it's been a long time probably was like a lookalike for the head of state head of state yeah that sounds that sounds like it so so i thought this was cool trump's he does he's not actually worth 10 billion right he's only worth 10 billion if we really inflate the value of his assets and something like 4 billion of that 10 is just the value of the trump brand right it's this aspirational brand you stick trump on a set of golf clubs and suddenly that set of golf clubs is worth more. A lot of people feel like he's been so polarizing that the Trump brand means something different now.

And that it's costing him billions to run this. No way. There's no way. He's getting so much coverage. The public is so fickle. Here's what's going to happen. This whole thing is going to blow over and then Clinton becomes president. And then he'll go back to just being Donald Trump, except he's Donald Trump

who just got like a billion dollars worth of free advertising or something like that. He's on a national, a global stage. Vladimir Putin is talking about him. He can only be worth more. He has to be. Oh, yeah. Really? He's got ties, shirts, a whole fashion line, pretty much. If you walk into Macy's or Nordstrom or wherever, it's there. It's not like they hid it in the back behind a curtain at the racist section. It's right up in the front.

There's tons of expensive Trump. We talked about how Stephen Colbert is not doing well because half of America doesn't transition. It turned out those numbers were kind of picked and chosen. The week in particular they used was one where Colbert was running a repeat, was running a week of repeats, and the competition was running

like a, I don't know, they were new shows, and I think they had a good guest or two or something like that. I heard the producer of that show on the Stern show, because Stern had called him out for this. He was like, Stern was reading the article that we all read, and so the producer goes on there and he's like,

oh, that's not exactly fair because, you know, we're showing reruns that week and they've got this brand new content they're putting out. In reality, according to him anyway, of course, that is his guy, they're in a tight race. They're in a tight second place in late night. But who knows? There's so many different ways to look at those ratings numbers.

There's dailies. And then there's, like you said, there's instances where one team might be off for vacation and the other team are coming out with new stuff. But on average, he's definitely not getting anywhere near what Fallon is doing. On average, he's definitely not getting anywhere near what Fallon is doing. But that guy's... The general concept of Stephen Colbert only appealing to half of the population because he leans towards the liberal side also applies to Trump, right? His brand, which previously was just an aspirational brand

that anyone who might want great golf clubs or polo shirts might want, now only Republicans who like golf clubs would buy them. I think he's strengthened himself with that group of people, though. I feel like maybe he has turned a group of people off to him, but just as strongly I feel like he's turned a group of people on to him. There's a group of guys who are like, yeah, Trump's my guy. Trump makes some ammunition, I'll buy that ammo. Trump makes a shirt, I'll buy that Trump, because Trump's like me.

Trump doesn't like those brown people. They know. They know. You look at Trump's lineup, he doesn't have any brown shirts. They're all white. Trump's Aryan collection. Yeah, the Aryan collection. That's great.

So Joe, I'm curious. I know that you don't talk about politics much, but do you pay attention to them much? I pay attention. I follow a little bit, but I just don't. I think no matter, like, for example, we were cutting weight on Friday morning. Cutting weight on Thursday morning for the fight. And we're at the Y,

and there's two older guys sitting in the hot tub talking politics and getting freaking super loud. Guys dropping F. This is like kind of early in the morning. We're like 8 o'clock in the morning. Guys. Yeah, right? Guys start.

He's getting pretty loud. He's dropping F-bombs. Another older woman that's there, and she comes over and says, hey, can you please just lower the language a little bit? He's like, no, I'm not going to lower my fucking language. If you don't like it, you can leave, blah, blah, blah, blah. You're only upset at me because you probably were voting for Hillary and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like just talking shit.

And I feel like that's like – I feel like that was like a perfect example of like how everyone feels about politics. Everyone feels like they're the smartest. Everyone talking politics thinks that they're the smartest person in the room. And they think that anyone disagrees with them is, oh, you're so-and-so party or you're this or you're that. And it doesn't matter how much logic you have. It doesn't matter if you have certain reasons for what you think. If you talk politics, someone is going to think you're smart and they're going to think you're a best friend. The other guy is going to think you're an idiot.

And the other part of it is they think kindly of you. All you need is more education. If you knew as much about this as I did, then you would completely line up with all my thoughts and beliefs. If you were as smart as I was, you wouldn't think that. I'm done with it. I think no matter how you think about politics, I think that a lot of times party lines get a little bit crazy because it's like, oh, if you identify as this party, you have to back this guy. Maybe you identify as that party overall and you have certain feelings but you think this guy is there's there's a different reason you don't like him but if

you're not telling the party line and you're you know you're hypocrite you're an asshole i think that's definitely true because like when i think about my own political beliefs i'm like why doesn't everybody agree with me because i definitely shade toward libertarian right like like on virtually every issue i my my thought process is you do your thing i'll do my thing like don't infringe on my rights and and you can go as far as you want i will i'll do is do whatever i want and as long as it doesn't infringe on your rights it's all good you know as far as like drugs go like i'm not going to deny another human being something they want to put in their body if you want to do heroin cocaine do it there's no reason i don't care what you're doing over there you shouldn't care what i'm doing over here as long as i'm not going to deny another human being something they want to put in their body. If you want to do heroin, cocaine, do it. There's no reason for...

I don't care what you're doing over there. You shouldn't care what I'm doing over here as long as I'm not, like, doing heroin and stumbling into your yard and dropping needles. Now I'm infringed on your rights. Now I need to go to fucking jail. But as long as I'm over here doing my thing, you're over there doing yours. I just want everybody to leave everybody else alone. But there's got to be some sort...

I don't believe in anarchy. You can't have a chaos system. You've got to have some sort of, at least a small operational federal government there handling, there's dozens of things that a federal government has to handle, and health care is probably one of them. If nothing else, we need to limit what pharmaceutical companies can charge for the drugs and services, I feel like. Did you see that douchebag got locked up? So that's one thing I disagree on a little bit.

That's ridiculous. That's ridiculous. That's ridiculous. He's the enemy of the internet, right? He's a real, such an easy target, such an easy punching bag. He seems like a caricature of a person. It's because it's so easy to punch up. He's up above everyone, so everyone can gather together and punch up together.

And it's just kind of gross. Of like, yeah, that guy's a piece of shit but like all the comments that you'd read in threads of like oh that guy should burn in hell you know for charging a high price for diarrhea medicine or whatever he did probably probably the worst thing that happens to that guy though is he ends up on reddit i mean i i don't think he's got so much money he's not gonna spend much time in jail he's gonna get old he's gonna so let me let me give people a little background in case they don't know uh i'm certainly gonna mess up his name his name is martin screlli screlli something like that um s h k r e l i martin s yes screlli and um

the first thing he did is he took a drug for AIDS that was previously like $15 and made it like $800 a pop or $1,000 a pop or something like that. And he said that he would like back off and he didn't. He changed his mind a month later and then quietly went back to plan A, which was to take this drug. And it was an older drug. It was like 15 or 20 years old, like kind of like a known thing. And he ratcheted up the price and it hurt AIDS victims in a really big way. And then just recently he had another drug that he was going to like incredibly ratchet up the price for. I forget what it was.

It was for a disease that I hadn't heard of before. But he was doing the same thing. You know, he was taking something that was currently like a grand and making it like a hundred grand. And now he's going to jail. But he's going to jail for something unrelated. Apparently it's okay to charge what you want. But I guess he was issuing stock to use money to pay off something private or like he was maybe not uh like listening

to the like valuing the shareholders rights or something an uber white collar crime that that he'll probably have a lawyer get him right out of he'll pay a fine or something that that he'll that he'll use his age drug uh profits to finance and that'll be that. It might have even been student loan related. I'll see if I can look it up. The internet loves to demonize that guy. He probably is a real douchebag. I love the animations of him with a scrotum on his chin and stuff.

Comparing his smile to Donald Trump's. I guess they've got the billionaire douchebag smile or whatever. It's not a good time to be a wealthy person in the United States. I feel like the rich guy is an easy target. Of course, that's

always been that, I guess. Yeah, fuck them. Agreed. Kyle, back to what you were saying before about how you think healthcare should be limited or more done by the government. Because, of course, everyone always thinks about what's important for them, I would disagree on some of that stuff.

Because up in Canada, let's say that I needed ACL surgery and I was from Canada because I know this has happened to other fighters. You need some kind of surgery. Well, it's all universal healthcare. So you're on a waiting list. So it's like, okay, we're going to get to you when we get to you. It's going to be like in six months. universal healthcare. So you're on a waiting list. So it's like, okay, well, we're going to get to you when we get to you. It's going to be like in six months. So whereas here, it's like, if I need ACL surgery, I go, I go to the doctors, I get it done right away. If I have to pay extra or I,

to get, get into someone that's better or faster or whatever, I can do that for me. Like that stuff is like super, super important. So I think that, you know, more privatized healthcare, you know, works out in my favor, you know, cause sometimes I,. Because sometimes maybe I need – maybe so-and-so down the street tore their ACL, but they don't really do anything. They sit at a desk and it's not a big deal. But for me, I need surgery like yesterday. Yeah. I think you need a private – I think you need both, right?

I feel like you need a private sector and a sort of government-run sector as well. Give me that big fucking coffee. There's a challenge with the completely capitalism version of medical stuff, and it's this. Long time listeners have heard this before. When people are sick, they have to pay

anything to get better. That's it. Like syphilis, right? Syphilis is a disease that will kill you right it'll rot your brain out it rots your skull it is died it's okay it's a deadly disease syphilis and it is cured with 50 cents worth of penicillin right the cure for it we figured it out like a hundred years ago there's al capone had like 20 million dollars but he walked around every day with with pus ejecting from his

cock instead of going and getting that shit and think about that that guy was such a maniac instead of going and getting a penicillin shot or whatever so um I like Kyle's point I get interrupted all the time and they only talk about my interruptions so syphilis

will kill you and it costs 50 cents to fix it, but pharmaceutical companies will charge a million dollars for the thing if unregulated, because you have no choice. You have to pay everything you own. You have to mortgage your house. You have to sell you an arm and a leg

to save your own life. And it's an area where perhaps some government regulation would make sense, because you're at the mercy. It's not like car shopping. It's not like buying clothing where, one, you have some knowledge of what you like, and, two, you can just go to a competitor. It's a pure capitalism market. I don't think it works well for health care. Maybe not pure capitalism, but I also don't like the idea of the u.s government being the single

payer and they're just they have so much power and authority and as we know they kind of tend to fritter away money and funds and i just don't trust them to use the money as efficiently as they could like they'll spend a crazy amount of money fixing a road that actually ends up taking four years and like there are roads that you'll drive on that have like at least around here there's like one i can think i've been under construction for like eight years nothing gets done it's just like they poured money into it and then i guess a contractor backed out or whatever and now it's just now it's just a road that's not finished like the government isn't they got too much shit on their

plate to handle a thing that big without becoming bigger and i'd prefer a smaller government if possible it's a tricky thing right i mean i'm with And I'd prefer a smaller government if possible. It's a tricky thing, right? I mean, I'm with you. Like, as a member of the public, sometimes it feels like the government couldn't properly run a two-car parade. Yeah. Right?

But, you know, do you trust Dow Chemical to run it better? You know, in some cases, yeah. You know, there's lots of people competing. They're trying if they want to do it well if they want to get tomorrow's job they better do this one properly that's that's why capitalism does well in other cases you're like no this guy martin's grill fuck or whatever will just charge you a hundred thousand dollars for some drug his company

figured out 30 years ago yeah there should be some. I'm less and less impressed as time has gone on as I've gotten older with people's individual ability to get stuff done. I feel like when I was a little kid, I felt like my parents knew everything and they could do no wrong. And they were like, anytime I had a question, they were the people to go and talk to. And then as you get older, you realize that they just don't know any more than you do. They've just done it a little bit more. And I feel like everything like –

anyway, I've met people that run really big successful businesses and I'm like, this guy is no smarter than my retired brother. He's no smarter than this guy. Which one is that? Both of them, my sister, me, everyone. It's just like everyone like – I think that sometimes you think that individual people are – that they have all the answers. I really don't think that's ever the case. I think whenever it you think that individual people have all the answers.

I really don't think that's ever the case. Whenever it's something successful, it's almost always a group effort of just a lot of people that are pretty good, and they all fill each other's – everyone has oversights and where they have lapsed in experience. You ever meet a guy and it's the opposite of that, though? You ever meet a guy and you're just blown away by how intelligent and sometimes like like like maybe he's just a an expert on a particular thing like and you're just like your brain has a wealth of knowledge in it that i don't even i can't even start scratching but whenever i meet someone like that i always know that they have this wealth of knowledge on this one thing but on the other hand i know they can't pay their

water bill or they can't pay their car insurance or they can't like everyone's i feel like everyone's like got like roughly the same amount of like intelligence it's just i don't know i i know some guy i've met a couple guys and i i just i was blown away i know one guy in particular he's um he's an engineer and he reads and writes like four languages and uh and he's a mechanical engineer like he can he does he can build things with his hands like like big machines that and he takes them apart and he's a anti-aircraft guns and turret guns from like world war ii he'll read the german uh engineering blueprints and diagrams and stuff and and he'll be like oh yeah i know how to do this and that guy is just uh every time i talk to him on just about any subject he just seems like he's just he's a real

genius he's it's amazing talk to people like that geniuses are cool but I'm sorry I thought it was a break but just as cool are doers right like I saw a there was a woman she didn't ask me anything on reddit I think there was something wrong with her hands or arms or something. And she's like, one of the toughest things is I wish I could curl my hair. And like a day or two later, he's like, you know what? He just seemed like a regular guy. He kind of spoke a little country. And he's like, but, you know, I like to mess around in the shop.

So I came up with this. And he demonstrates how now she can curl her hair without like you know every everybody else's fingers and uh i looked at the solution what did she have what she had going on i think she had like maybe no thumb or something a flipper hand action type thing going on i don't remember exactly but he looked at what she had to work with, and he built a solution where I guess she had, like, no fingers, but she had a wrist. And with just a working wrist, you could see how he built a functional, those hair-frying things, the curlers. And it was like... In my head, I'm imagining it on a power drill to get the rotation.

And I'm imagining, like, now make sure you put it in low gear now. And she's like, all right, all right. She uses her, like, fucked up wrist to manipulate this DeWalt power drill. I think she's got no fingers and no scalp. I think really it was the clamping action. The whole greasy head Susan over there. It's all sticky. God damn, did a Navajo get a hold of you?

What the fuck? What was impressive about the guy was that he did something. Like he was a doer, right? Tons of people do abstract art and you look at it and you say, I could do that. But you didn't. It took someone to actually give it a go. I looked at his solution for this and in hindsight, it seemed obvious to me. But I read the AMA and I didn't build that. That guy was a doer.

And there are tons of people with lots of abilities but the doers are the ones that make the world go round. I feel like my dad is that. So you've seen that shredder thing I've got, right? The little personal tank thing? So that thing got rained on and it wouldn't start. I couldn't get it to start and I didn't know what to do so I took it over there to dad and it had a couple problems.

One of them was the battery was dead and it doesn't use a standard battery. It uses this, it's about the size of a hardback book. That's what the battery looks like. It's just some sort of lithium battery. It looks like a real explosive fire hazard because it's right under the gas tank. But he made a charger for it. He disconnects the cables and he literally put metal in where the prongs are supposed to go

and hooked it up to a 12 volt slow charger and somehow recharged this battery that the company said couldn't be recharged. The carburetor is about the size of my fist and it's up in this thing in a way that is just incredibly difficult to work on.

But he completely disassembles this thing and this thing is complicated. He's never seen anything like this before. He completely disassembles this thing, has the carburetor out, cleans the carburetor, fixes it. He's like, here's your problem right here, your idle jet. It's clogged. We get the idle jet out, clean it. Oh, and this right here, you got water in the cup and we get that out and the thing's working now it's hauling ass it's

running better than it's ever ran before and they did the same thing with my dune buggy we uh we uh we had to completely take the we had to adjust the valves we had to do like a dozen things to that dune buggy last week but he's a tinkerer he can take something apart see how it works and fix it. Yeah, I just have a lot of respect for people who are, I don't know, they see a thing and they're, ah, let's roll up the sleeves and see where this goes. And that's pretty cool. I hate doing that kind of stuff.

I hate that stuff too. Yeah. I bought a $45 Ikea bookshelf for college once just to keep books on or video games or whatever, spent an hour and a half trying to build it until I convinced myself that it was faulty packaging and that I didn't want to use it.

Then I just threw it away. Just threw it away. Didn't even return it. They probably couldn't help me either. There's some other guy out there also struggling. He and I have been brothers. Just threw it away. Kitty bought all these shelves, these wire You know, they probably couldn't help me either. There's some other guy out there also struggling. Oh, he and I have been brothers. Like, it's just a moment. Screw it away. Kitty bought all these shelves, these wire shelves,

and it was like they had to pop together with these plastic attachers that would attach two pieces of wire together, and it was just like, it was like a stack of Jenga blocks. You went higher and higher, and it became more and more unstable, and she's like, yeah, you don't mind putting that together now, do you? Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Me hands, I can't do it. And I'm just like, how is that my fucking problem?

You should have thought about this before you bought a puzzle instead of a bookshelf or whatever the fuck this is supposed to be. I threw that fucking thing out on the porch. I'm like, I'm done. I was like, you go get some real wood or something. Go to a thrift store or whatever but like i'm not putting your puzzle together for you that that shit is ridiculous my hands were hurting like my fingertips were like i i've i've tried to learn guitar before and and i'm maybe you can you can relate this what do you like your fingertips get incredibly sore i had that from like popping these things

together and i got it maybe five left tears high and then it collapsed and fell back And I had nothing and I was just like I kicked it out the door and just fucking threw it away I can't I get I get so frustrated putting that shit together. I hate Ikea furniture anything like that Where you're putting a goddamn puzzle together. That's that's not my that that stuff to me is so easy I mean, I'm with you, Joe. I'm telling you, I am undefeated on these things. Not only am I undefeated at things like IKEA furniture, but there's usually hardly even a misstep.

I will go from start to end without unscrewing a screw. Oh, please. I can't say that. I just called the other day for some pointers. I put them up with a new system. They can't just try to change them based on how I put together a bookshelf. It's not even always that it's super, super hard. It's that, like, you have a picture in your head of what it will look like, and you're halfway through building it, and it's, like, swaying in the wind.

Like, you test it with, like, a little news pamphlet, and it, like, bows down a little news pamphlet and it bows down a little bit. It's like, this isn't what it says. I did it right, mostly. There's a few extra pieces. I always put the backing on backwards. I assembled a bookshelf. You put it down and then you put the backing on there

and then you put 8,000 little fucking nails in there. You stand it up and you realize the backing's on backwards there they realize looking at particle boards like spray paint kitty kitty bought two of these desks one time it was like a computer desk with like a bookshelf attached to the back of it with all these individual shells with glass like doors on them and I put one of them together because I had to but i threw mine away i think it was like 500 i burn it i burn it i i was like i was like fuck that thing

fuck it no i refuse to put it put two of those together i'm gonna burn that other one you can't make me put it together and i did because it was so outrageously hard and the materials were like it wasn't that it was like this likeik's Cube that I just couldn't solve. It was like, you'd go to put the pieces together, and it was just shoddy material. And it'd be like... Splits and breaks and bends. A screw just rips out of what it's supposed to be holding in. And it's just like, fuck, now what do I do? Now I need a lot of glue.

Now I need a lot of fucking glue. Now I need liquid nails. This thing is going to be held together by wire bailing wire and and pins by the time it's over uh i i do not like putting shit together i would much rather go to like an antique store and be like yeah that that wooden desk there like let's load that fucker up sit on the floor and it'll be done yeah and that'll be good forever because it was made by like an italian immigrant in 1913 yeah no thoughts No thoughts of the Great War. Not yet.

But you said that you were going to, or that you've tried to do guitar and stuff. What other little hobbies? Because I've done that. I had little phases where I tried to get into hobbies growing up. I want to know which ones you got into, and I'll go into a couple. Guitar. I've tried to pick up guitar a few times,

because my dad's pretty good at guitar. It's not that he's having formal training, but he just knows the ins and outs of the chords and everything, so he can transfer that knowledge to a variety of instruments. He can play a banjo just as well as he can play a guitar. He can play anything with strings, really. He's got these big, ridiculous fingers, and I see him do

it and and so i don't have this excuse i can't excuse myself i can't be like oh my fingers are too big can't do it when he's got these big like hot dog fingers like like and he's been he's making it happen but mine lock and pop and do all that shit and this i never could get into it i could play like twink i'm over there twing call twing call god damn it that hurt you're hitting like flat notes like a guitar phase for like i think it was honestly one afternoon that a friend of mine like left his guitar at my house and I was like in ninth grade or something I was like sitting there and I like looked up on the internet like tips how to how to learn guitar quickly and I was sitting there like had it up did a couple of

strums was like man this is really harder than I thought and then I just had like a silent moment of honesty with myself like is it gonna be cooler to be the guy that can play the guitar than it is uncool to spend all this time learning it at this point in my life i was like no no it's not this isn't worth it nobody's gonna be like wow like because at that age if you're gonna be the guitar guy you already got to be pretty fucking good at guitar like you gotta people gotta be like man look at that guy he's just tearing it up not like oh look Taylor. He's got, you know, hot cross buns down to a T. I suck at guitar. I try harder than you might guess.

Like, I think for at least two years I played six days a week, and I never got good. I sat there and I just didn't. You're guitar-ted. I am guitar-ted. Nicely done. good i sat there and i just didn't you're get tarted i have get tarted nicely done i i i don't know what to say hoping i would do it together as an activity you know it was like this father daughter thing we just share some time and um i just didn't get good i didn't get good i'm fucking a horrible edit i don't know what what to say i could never improve i would learn all the notes like there were a couple songs where i could play it all the way through

but it didn't sound like this song even though there were no mistakes i played all the right notes in order like i'm hearing it and i'm like that doesn't even fucking sound like the song to me it is looking at you like i've never heard that sound coming from a guitar before. In front of Satan. Once a week. I used to lie to my piano teacher all the time. I had to do piano. My mom made me and my brother take it like once a week.

And every time we'd go in, and I was only like 10 or something, 11, did it for a couple of years, never learned it or got any better. And she'd give us like assignments. And she'd be like, now I want you to play an hour of this every day until next week when you come back. And I'd just be like, I'm 11, so I'm not going to do that. And so I'd just come

back every single week. She'd be like, did you do your homework? Nope. Nope, we're going to be starting from square one again. Because eventually my mom is going to get tired of paying you $70 for this hour that I don't learn, and then I'm not going to have to do this. Just sit down, struggle. My cousin, like from an early age, my grandmother and her mother had her playing the piano.

She had a piano at my grandmother's house. She had a piano at home, and she was able to practice both places. She spent weekends at my grandmother's house, and she became incredible at it. She does piano concerts now like it was part of her uh her when she got into uga i think the piano playing thing was in some small way a part of like how she got accepted i don't remember how that worked out but she's amazing like she's over there playing and you know both i don't know anything about piano but it's you know it sounds very complex. It's not like... It's like...

Both hands are doing completely different things, and it's beautiful when she plays. But I have none of that musical ability. I've always been good at reflexive things, I guess. You throw a ball at me, I can catch it. I don't know. If you throw a target up in the air, I can shoot it. But if you make me sit there and learn

those notes and stuff, I've just always struggled with that. That's not nearly as cool of a party trick. It's like, hey, quick, throw this vase at Kyle. He catches it. One mistake. Well, if I shot it, that'd be cool. I don't know, if you threw the vase at me and I, like, drew and shot the vase, like, that'd be cool.

Is that gun loaded? No. The guy The guy line drives a vase at you, and suddenly you're Kyle the murderer. This is the loaded gun. Yeah, right? What do you got, Drew? I got nothing. I thought you said I had a question. No, no, no. I said no.

He said it was a fair question. Fair question. Asking if the gun was loaded. It could be. Yeah, I went shooting today we um i was hanging out with my dad uh did you film shooting for fun or yeah both i guess uh the day before yesterday we filmed the new video that's being edited but um yes today i just went and shot for fun with my dad and another guy uh the other guy didn't have much shooting experience

and he had seen like he saw like some of the guns that were my truck the other day and he was like blown away and i was like you ain't seen nothing yet i was i was like come back tomorrow after work and i'll show you some cool shit so i got like an ak and my augs out and a bunch of silencers and so we had some fun he'd never seen tracers and incendiary before so we were throwing paint cans around blowing them up now yeah i don't know about georgia but that was today you said yeah dude the rain fell so hard here. It was like the sky was falling. Did you deal with that?

Definitely early in the morning it rained, and then around noon it was drizzling a lot. But by three or four it kind of cleared up. But it was drizzly and overcast all day. It wasn't a pretty day. But that's good when you're making big fireballs and shit. You don't have to worry about lateral damage. What we had here you wouldn't have left. know you know like two or three times a year

the weather is so remarkable you go outside and you're like holy fuck look at that you know we had one of those days and into december it's not normal for us to have that like kind of super heavy shower i don't even know how many inches of rain we got, but a couple, I guess. It was a ton. Yeah, we filmed a video earlier in the week. Kind of a standard video, you know, like three different weapons. I wish I had, maybe I'll show the sniper rifle a little bit. It's pretty cool. I put a sniper rifle together for it.

But the interesting thing I did was I had to drive my dune buggy crashing through these fences and it's like the segue between each segment of the video is me crashing through this wall so that you got like a tight shot on this fence this white picket fence and then the dune buggy just comes through it out of nowhere going about 45 miles an hour with me behind the wheel and when I hit this fence it explodes but and I engineered all this pretty well, I thought, and I even had everything built perfectly, I thought, until I realized that my dune buggy is wider

than the posts that hold the fence up. So I have to hit it perfectly, and then still the, like, wings of my vehicle kind of has these big, like, fenders that kick out on the sides that are even wider than the back tires. And those are rubbing the fences as I go through them. But I hit all three fences going roughly 40, 45 miles an hour off-road, right in the fucking middle. And every time, I was just like, ah! And it was just trying to get into third gear before I hit this thing,

and just screaming as fast as that car would go in those bottoms, and the fence would just fucking explode. It was so, it felt so good. I had a lot of fun doing it. I'd never had as, it was a real triumphant feeling, because I'm like going super fast at this thing, and if I'm five inches off, i have a wreck that means my front

tire is going to hit a post that's concreted into the ground and that's going to like knock the front end out from under my vehicle turn me into a spin and like it's gonna be a serious impact and i don't have a seat belt on because there isn't one and it's a racing steering wheel so it's not like nice and soft like your car it's like a steel post so i'm just like like i said and uh but every one of them hit right in the fucking middle didn't die and and when i hit it you know i just see white at the last second because the the whole fence is painted white and it completely fills my vision and then all of a sudden it explodes and everything like lights up and i'm just like yeah and i'm just and I'm just so exuberant in that moment

when I came through it that I'm just like fucking getting more gears and and doing doughnuts and screaming like like shits flying everywhere I had a real good time too dangerous your head like what people would say if you died doing that oh they know to upload the video if I if I kill myself I'm glad they understand that yes I never see you die in a flame in that video then come back as like hello my name is Kyle I am here to talk to you about safety I was making YouTube videos thought that everything in life would go my way. I hope they know to never stop filming, right?

Yes, that is, I swear to God, that is the pitch. I've said this many times. It's this. It's like, look, if I get hurt, if I go down, if I scream, if there's blood, if the hands go up the hands you keep rolling everybody else can keep helping but you're the cameraman you gotta roll on this it'll it's better if you catch it then then just cut away like let's see what happens you know like it'll be worth some money if i get injured i don't want to get hurt but if i do there's no reason not to fucking film it bro like you're already here like get it get it done so yeah the whole fence thing though like i pitched

that to that company like two months ago three months ago maybe and they said yes which meant i had to do it then and initially i had i had thought of this fence crashing idea and it was going to be a real car like whenever it happened for whatever reason it's just kind of a in the playbook uh but doing it in the dune buggy which doesn't have a windshield all and and you know it's it's a dune buggy is a whole different thing so i had to make this protective windshield for it out of mesh steel uh we i was up late the night before i built that the night before like i was there at 9 p.m like welding that they, or not welding, but cutting that steel to the right shape and bolting it on and everything. And when we hit that thing, I say we because I had Chad, my cameraman, in the passenger seat when I hit the third one.

He was dressed as Abraham Lincoln. I don't know if that will be in the video. But he's full of Abraham Lincoln mask with the hat and the beard and everything. And he's just like mugging for the camera as we hit this wall going 45. I think it's going to be pretty funny. Those shots in particular, like the wall shots,

most fun I've had in a little while. I'd never crashed a car through a wall and certainly not like that. That was a lot of fun. How long will it take for that video to go up? Is that like a two-week thing, three-week thing? Probably be up in a week. I sent it off to the company for approval they liked it they wanted me to add like a little bit more b-roll and

some voiceover so I'll record all that tomorrow send it to my editor he'll get edited probably next weekend sweet I'm like Kelly you very see Joe you did you say had to go? I gotta bounce. I gotta go see Star Wars. Sorry, my friend. Love hanging out with you guys. Tweet out the ending so we can all know. The second I get out of there,

I won't be out of the theater again. I'll send you guys all spoilers. I would love it if you ruined it for Kyle and Woody. Please. I would hate that. Watching movie trailers pretty much at all at this point to prevent any kind of spoiler. I was telling Woody

I haven't even watched the Star Trek one or anything. I think I'm done with trailers. There's supposed to be some awesome trailer tonight on something. I forget what it is now. I don't know if it's one of the Marvel movies. Would it be Hateful Eight? Which one? I'm just guessing.

Maybe. It could be. I don't know. I remember hearing that there was going to be some trailer and I remember being excited about it. Or Revenant.

Relevant. Revenant. I don't know. Yeah. All right. I'll catch you guys later, though. Thanks, Joe. Do it again sometime soon.

Yeah. Zombies. Zombies soon, for sure. Yes. All right. Later, guys. See ya. Quentin Tarantino was on the Howard Stern show this week and did an interview.

I saw a segment of it where he was really upset about being kicked out of a particular theater by Disney. Quentin Tarantino was upset he got kicked out? Well, his movie did. And he's contractually they're violating a contract that they have with him. That movie is supposed to be in the Cinerama.

Cinerama owns, like, a whole chain of theaters. And I think Quentin's movie is supposed to be getting, be in there. And instead they're showing a Star Wars thing. And I think the Cinerama logo is even in the film. Like, it's a big deal. And yeah, I wonder I don't know what's going to come of that. I didn't actually see that part of the interview. That's the only part I didn't see somehow.

I was there when he's talking about writing a true romance and all that stuff. It was really nice. Stern, I guess, knows the guy from Disney like some decision maker. And he's like, look, me to you. This guy, Quentin Tarantino, I know he's a bit of a goof, but he worked real hard on this, and he cares a lot. This theater is like 70 millimeters something or other. I don't know and I don't care, but I know he does. So why don't you just be nice?

It's the Christmas season. Let them have this one theater they're not talking about like being kicked out of theaters nationally this is more of a artistic thing it's not even a business thing it's an artistic thing where this one particular historic theater that has the right equipment to show this film means a lot to tarantino and disney's like no fuck you we want it and there's a contract in place that says that tarantino's movie is is supposed to be shown there and uh and they're violating it that's right but um uh i mean as you're sort of getting it he um disney's just so powerful that they find that it's better to stay in Disney's favor than to honor the contract.

Yeah. Too big to sue. Who owns Quentin Tarantino? Nobody owns Quentin Tarantino. Nobody owns. I guess you're asking who's backing him. I don't know. Yeah.

Harvey Weinstein, usually. I think that's one of his major financiers, producers. But he produces tons of projects. But in particular, Quentin's, I think, a lot of the time he's behind. Yeah, I heard him on there. Stern's had a couple of good interviews this week. He had Sandler on there. It was cool to hear him ask Sandler about his whole past.

He had all these weird things in his past. He was roommates with Judd Apatow back in the day. There's lots of little things like that. And he was talking about the Ridiculous 6 movie that he's got on Netflix now. And his time on SNL. And how he got hired there as a writer. And stand-up. And how he's going out now.

And trying his new stand-up out. And sometimes just bombing. And he's just like what's it like to be you know and adam sandler and the crowd's like oh shit it's fucking adam sandler and then you just go out there and completely bomb he's like yeah it's rough he's like and you know they're filming you with their cameras that didn't used to be a thing so it was cool to hear from him and i i can't remember the third he had three good interviews this week i thought yeah oh and he signed on i guess we talked about it on pecan but you know he signed that five-year and I can't remember the third. He had three good interviews this week, I thought.

Yeah. And he signed on, I guess we talked about it on Pecan, but he signed that five-year extension, Stern that is, so that's cool. For $80 million a year, you said. Yeah. It's not $80 million total, it's $80 million a year? $80 million a year. Sirius probably has to give him whatever he wants because he's like the only thing keeping them afloat is my understanding.

You have to give him $ 80 million a year yeah now like we put out in pk well kyle pointed out in pkn you know he has expenses for the show they're paying 80 million a year for the show but one might yes production all that yeah i mean they might spend 15 or 20 million making the show happen i'd love to know the breakdown like like with an ml team, you get it, right? You know what the coach makes, what the assistant makes, what the batting coach is making. You know what the shortstop's making. I'd love to know what Stern takes home,

including bonuses in any other way they're hiding, like stock options, any other way they're paying him on the side. And his ad revenue, I'd love to know about that because they run so many ads. He must have at least 20 advertisers rolling all day long. I could name a dozen of them now. But I'd like to know what Gary DeLaBate is making. He's the executive producer of the show.

Been with Stern for 30 years. I'd like to know what Robin Quivers is making. I don't like Robin. You said it the other day. You felt like Stern kept her around because he just likes her or whatever. I think he thinks he needs her. And they've got a chemistry that just works, and a big part of his success, I think he feels, and I feel as well, was that he sort of revolutionized this thing where it used to be that the news guy came on,

and he did the news very straightforward like he was Tom Brokaw over there, and then it went back to the DJ who was like, Oh, and now Willie Pete's song. Move on over. And, you know, that was the radio. But instead, you know, Robin would read the news and she'd be like, you know, eight dead in a traffic pile up and start to be like, oh, that's a gangbang of death. You know, he'd riff on the news and that was a new thing.

And that was kind of a big part of what made him him. But I'd like to know what she's making a year i'd like to know what the the side people you know like uh like benji uh benji bronk i don't know what he's making i want to know what uh what uh those disgusting fucking people in the back office uh richard and sal are making uh you know those guys like they'll do the most stupid disgusting pranks like they're just balls in your mouth like pubic hair on your face distant to get that they're both straight but they're making out but at the uh...

at the today show like filming just to cause us a rocket as you know i'd like to know what they're all making eighty million is a shitload of money though for it for that production kids sister radio show over the going to video to though now that's the thing i don't know if you read into that. I didn't understand it initially, but basically the Howard Stern show

is going to be a video format show, kind of like what we're doing. It's going to be like this, except they won't have stationary cameras. They got cameramen and all that stuff, and you'll be able to see what's going on with all the shows going forward. To me, that severely impacts how hard it is to do the show.

I think it makes it a lot harder when you're on camera. There's a huge difference between, like, I don't know if Fred's still on the show. He is. But he just sort of interjects a thing now and then. Most of the time, Fred's not on the show. He's just paying attention. He's also doing all the sound effects, you know. Right. And I just think it's a on the show. He's just paying attention. He's also doing the sound, all the sound effects, you know. Right.

And I just think it's a really casual job. But when there's suddenly a camera. I disagree. I don't know what you meant by casual, I guess. I took casual to be like, you know, he's not a huge part of the show. But I feel like Fred's a bigger part of the show than Robin because of his sound effects. I wish we had some sort of way to do sound effects. He's so good

with those i for me i hate them i hate them all the time every time there's another fucking like week a week of fart noise or something i'm just like this is the most juvenile thing you are in the minority i i agree with woody on the whole like when those things come in and they're like uh-oh and it's like not that now not that in particular like all right so some of the sound effects he'll play will be like um a woman getting throat fucked and it's like like they'll play that one every time they talk about oral sex or something like that and sure those are sophomoric and juvenile yeah i hate them but many times he'll play sound bites that really punctuate a joke,

or he'll have, and he's got this database of material to go to. It's incredible. It seems like no matter what topic they're on, he can really quickly get in there. And he talked about how he built the system and how it works and everything one time. But I'd say it adds to this show much more than it takes away from it i i don't like the farts i don't like that stuff i

really don't but i i love when what he adds to it is like a sound clip or a sound bite from uh that punctuates what stern's talking about or something like that for me like my reaction to them is not that they punctuate it's that they interrupt you know someone's telling a story someone's doing a thing. They're making a riff. And then I have to hear a guh-guh-guh-guh-guh-guh throat fucking sounds. And it's just like, shut the fuck up with your sounds. This guy's on a roll.

It is, to me, an interruption. And it's an interruption that Fred does all show long. And I hate it. I'm on your side 100% with it. It is so distracting and aggravating to me. It never makes me laugh harder when they're going on their riff

and they're like, hey, you know what would really punctuate this is a slightly relevant clip from Goodfellas. I'll give you a perfect example of when it killed, when Fred killed. Okay, so Eric the actor or Eric the midget, whatever you want to call him as, he did this event, right, where he sold tickets and fans were going to come and see him. I think it was at an NBA game prior to it or something like that.

They did some kind of... And they promoted it on the show and nobody bought a ticket. 0.0 bought tickets. And there's this soundbite from, I don't remember the movie, maybe Ferris Bueller, or maybe it's Animal House when he's telling them their scores or something, I think maybe. And there's this soundbite of the guy going, 0.0. And so they're on the phone with Eric,

and he's explaining in his ridiculous voice how like is he high pitched Eric? no this is the midget guy with the club foot in the wheelchair that at one point they're going to float him away with helium balloons he's just like

no I had lots of people coming I had a big turnout and they're just like yeah but you had zero people that signed up for this thing before we advertised the night before. And then you only got, and then you still got zero or whatever. And Fred plays the sound by 0.0. And every time Eric tries to get in, he's like, no, you don't understand. I had lots of people showing up.

And they just keep playing over and over and over. And the way I'm describing it doesn't sound that funny, but the way the show flows around, it's just fucking hilarious. Everybody's dying laughing. It was a great moment. I feel like Fred... Maybe you're right with that, but that whole...

Even the way you're describing it is like I've seen shows do that same thing, where they have a collar on, they'll like just play the same clip over and over like to drown them out like you're wrong you're wrong and it's like you're not progressing this has no there's no legs for this to get funnier from here

and everybody in the studio has to ham it up because they're on the show you know when really if you're listening it's like is this really that funny or am I laughing because there's a bunch of people laughing because I'm supposed to think this is funny like hitting him from two fronts you got fred playing the 0.0 over and over which is repetitive of course but on the other side you've got howard and like i don't know two or three other people just picking him apart at every turn just like no this this and that and giving factual stuff

to make fun of him and just make a real mockery of the freak of a human being that eric was i feel like the sound effects maybe do work one every 10 or 15 times but uh the thing about putting a video in is i know i feel not at ease anymore once there's a camera on me like i sort of have to be on i don't want to say i'm being a version of me that's not really me but i just more aware and self-conscious and you know, you're, you're on. And, and once the, you know, these lights turn off, there's sort of a, now I can sit with bad posture, you know? Yeah. I'm looking forward to it. Um, I'm going to look into it more and see how I watch the show going forward. Um, because I really enjoy, uh, like

the E show back in the day and seeing the comings and goings in the hallway and seeing Ronnie, the limo driver doing his thing. And we'll go just the stuff that goes off in the back office there. And in that hallway always really intrigued me how they actually ran the show. And when they're pulling a prank on somebody and he, and Stern's like, all right, all right, so this is what we're going to do, right? And blah, blah, blah, blah. He's like getting everybody together. Uh, but one of my favorite ones, uh, last year, but you know, alright, alright, so this is what we're going to do, right? Blah, blah, blah, blah. He's like getting everybody together. One of my favorite ones last year, their contract was up again last year. They were currently writing a one-year contract extension. So last year it was up in the air. Is Stern going to retire? Is he going to sign a new contract? And Sal comes to work late. And so he doesn't hear the

office announcement that morning they went around and Stern told everybody, hey, we're on again. We got a year extension. He tells them off the air. But Sal's not there. He's late. So when Sal gets there, Stern says, yeah, we're not coming back. It's over.

It's all over, Sal. I'm sorry you just got here, but you missed the news. We're retiring. This is awesome. This is the sort of shit we would do to Wiggs Sal starts crying because he has no prospects nowhere to move forward

he has two or three sons and a wife to support and he starts crying he's just like I didn't plan for this I didn't think I don't know what am I doing with my boys my boys and he's crying.

And they let him cry for a while before Stern's like, Sal, were you late today? He's like, yeah, yeah. And what happens when you're late? We fucking goof on you, don't we? She's like, is this a joke? He's like, yeah, you fucking asshole. And everybody laughs at him. And he's just like wiping tears away

and just being like, okay, then I guess you got me pretty good. You thought your life was crumbling around you. Just cried his heart out to 25 million listeners or something. It's good. Remember the NVIDIA deal we supposedly got? What did you guys do to Wings with NVIDIA?

I need to know. I hope I tell the story. It can't compare to Howard's, but basically Wings missed a show. He missed a show for no good reason whatsoever. I forget if he slept through it or if he scheduled a date or something like that, but it wasn't like he was sick or had some business travel or whatever. Couldn't be bothered. Couldn't be bothered.

Had some other priority that that was more flexible but decided to do it on pka night so um so we ran with it i think we actually advertised nvidia on the show for free like this you know yeah to sell the prank yeah and uh and then afterwards we talked about how we were all getting these like titan x cards and money and game shields and stuff like that. And Wings was getting nothing because obviously he wasn't even there for the show. Why would Wings get anything for it? And the subreddit is taking both sides of it.

Some thought that we should cut him in on a show that he didn't do. Others thought, well, you snooze, you lose. They're doing the pro-con list. They really split down the middle. Lots of people are like, Wings deserves it. He's part of the show, goddammit. And then other people are like, well, he wasn't even fucking there. Why would you cut him in if he's not even there?

What's he going to? And then people are like. Do you get paid when you don't go to work? You know? And then, of course, people being like, well, Woody doesn't even need a new graphics card. He's got the regular Titan. He should just give his to Wings. And people being like, well, Woody doesn't even need a new graphics card. He's got the regular Titan. He should just give his to Wings. And people being like, well, Kyle probably can't even run a Titan.

He should give his to Wings. And just like back and forth. And the whole time, there was no Titan. There was no deal. He was goofing on Wings because he didn't show up. Yeah, we were actually pursuing NVIDIA. We wish there was a deal. We had been, I guess guess in talks with them for like

yeah but unfortunately they're a foolish company they don't see the advertising power painkiller already like so many other bright companies yeah they reached out to me like um i guess what happened is i used to do a tech tuesday and i talked about what the nvidia cards are doing and like the tech breakthrough that was like two or three generations forward. And, uh, they liked the video. They liked my excitement about it.

They liked that. I understood what they were going for. And, uh, you know, we met them at EA. What's E3. That's what I'm trying to say. We met them at E3 and,

uh, I never got to deal with them. So, yeah, it's weird how that worked. It's, they expressed a lot of interest. It seems like, I hate when that happens, when it's like, I'm not even pursuing you.

You're pursuing me. You're getting me to make travel arrangements and go places and get up early and go to these meetings in other cities across the country. And then you're the one who decides not to buy. That's happened before, and it upsets me. It upsets you. Yeah. I don't know. It upsets you.

Yeah. I don't know how... They let you on. They were a real cock tease about it. They were talking about, you know, 100 frames per second. They're talking about getting you all this cool equipment, all this money, all these good things. And then they never get you off. No, just a tease.

It's a tease. Like a fucking stripper. I hate strippers so much. Can we talk about why I hate strippers? Of course. I don't know. I think I've talked about it before, but I just want to reiterate.

Stories are better the second time. Strippers are the worst. They're real. Would you say they're cock teases? Yeah, they definitely are cock teases. The thing is this. I don't think that strippers are inherently bad people, but I think that people who are in the business of stripping say they're cock teases yeah they definitely are cock teases so like the thing is this so like i don't think that strippers are inherently bad people but i think that people who are in the

business of stripping are who are in the act of stripping are definitely in that moment bad people strippers while they're stripping are bad people um they're there to pretend and i don't i don't get why guys enjoy strip clubs at all i don't get it i don't know why you want to go maybe someone could explain this to me all right, so, I don't want to watch some girls dance naked. Like, that's not a thing. I don't want her to, like, I don't want to lap dance either. It's the definition of a cock

tease. I really don't get it. They're pretending to like you for money. It feels it makes me feel so patronized. It's like it's insulting to my intelligence when when she's like clearly like falsely showing interest because she wants more of this stack of money that i have um i i completely prostitutes at least are honest the prostitutes like yeah i'm gonna suck your dick

for this money and you got like you're like oh great great that's much better than some sort of ambiguous open-ended deal where I keep shelling out $1 bills for the hope that you're going to go back to my hotel room tonight at the end of your shift. Which will never happen. I've seen it happen. It's happened. But it's hard.

It's hard. The success rate with strippers is like 1 in 10. It's a real difficult mountain uh mountain to climb it really with the patronizing thing that's what it is and i hate it like i've i've been to one ever and i just i didn't like it it felt forced it felt like i was in an adult daycare and that they were trying to like distract me from things and they were like oh you know what make you feel better we got really cheap booze and it's like well i guess i'll have some gotta save money for these nice ladies and it's like you want to buy me a shot you want to buy me a shot no no i don't buy me a shot i don't understand the want to buy me a shot thing like

what do i get out of buying you a shot you get a drunker girl like it's slightly poor here it's like someone a lady hostess at red robin doesn't go hey buy me a whiskey river barbecue burger like no you at least go somewhere else like if anything was going to come of it like they want your you can get that for free because they're getting a cut of it sometimes uh you know they're they're like it that that's part of it then also they just want a shot right but you know that's it's it's like uh it's it's like when they ask you if you want to supersize it it's part of the it's part of it. Also, they just want a shot, right? But, you know, it's like when they ask you if you want to supersize it. It's part of the deal.

It just makes no sense to me whatsoever. Like, if I was on WoodyCraft, like, hey, you guys want to buy me a rank? You want to buy me a rank? In exchange, I'll have more money. You're like, no, no. Control that. You can get that for free. Yeah, I totally don't want to buy you a rank at all.

You fucking work here. I get nothing in exchange. I'll buy me one, perhaps, me being a customer there, or a player. No, I don't want to buy you anything. I don't understand why anyone would be motivated to buy things for someone else in a situation

like that. I'm completely lost. But again, back to the Stern Show, they were talking about – I don't even think the club's in business anymore. But I guess Howard used to go to this real high-end strip club. Scores. They're still in business. I think it might have been scores. And anyway, so this is how they describe it.

They say they go there and they've got like a stack of singles, like four inches tall. And then they take half of them and give them to Howard. And then the other two inches they distribute like to the rest of the people. And Robin was like, why would you like a strip club? You know, those girls don't really like you. And Gary Delevati was like, but you know, while I have all that money, it seems like they do.

He's like, you know, it really seems like they're into me right now. They're easily fooled, Gary. I don't know. I think he just, you know, it's a suspension of disbelief, right? In the same way that I believe Superman can fly, he believes hot blonde strippers,

you know, see the beauty of Gary Delebate. It's easier for me to accept captain america as an interesting superhero than to accept that the stripper is interested in me yeah yeah the suspension of disbelief is ridiculous like you you can't the way so what you got to do is you got to find a real homely stripper who's not used to guys hitting on her she makes like eight dollars a night and you got to start shelling it out on her and she's like wow this guy likes me Oh, this is great. Like finally somebody who thinks I'm hot then then you're playing it from the other side You're like hey, I see the scar How about you how about you buy me a drink over here?

So you got a bunch of ones there on your leg and she's buying you shots all of a sudden you turn it around on That's what you want to do you turn right you you chant for her to come back out when they bring the next hot girl Out they bring up the liner and you're going no bring out c-section oh that's yeah yeah yeah so but but i will i say that but then i've known i've known some strippers i still know i've known some strippers and they're nice people uh i've known some that are nice people but i I just feel like strippers, while they're stripping, are just real scumbags. Like, it's just the nature of your job, I feel like. And it's not unlike how a waitress will often flirt with a customer, but I feel like there's more implied possible sexual contact with a stripper. all the guys who go to like some kind of back room like lap dance or hoping secretly is like i don't know maybe she like sees what i got going on and she asked me to go back to her place or

she comes back with me but like that's not happening that's happening nine percent of the time if you're lucky if you're like a good looking lucky lucky motherfucker or something like that yeah i know one time what i did did, my cousin was at the strip club and I didn't go. And I was at the hotel. But what I did do was I tweeted out the phone number of the strip club

and I told everybody that I was there. So now the phone's ringing off the hook at the strip club for me. So my cousin tells the strip club owner that like they are,

he's like, yeah, they found out we're here. We're kind of a big deal. yeah they found out we're here we're kind of a big deal our fans found out we're here they're they're kind of thralling you know for contact with us they're they're they're foaming at the mouth for us what can i say and and the guy's like wow this is crazy we had kit rock in here and it was nothing like this so he's convinced that scott is like some kind of fucking celebrity he's gator he that's what he's telling him that he's gator he's like yeah i'm gator i'm kind of a big deal so they're giving him free drinks they're like like the manager comes over and like comps all

their shit like he's like he's like stacy take care of this guy right here and stacy's like yeah okay i'll take care of you and like she's giving him free red bulls all night and free free booze it was ridiculous and i got none of the benefits from it at all. I wasn't even there. He comes back. He's like, he's just like, that was the best night ever. I thought we were fucking Kid Rock. I remember I did something similar to that, like maybe four years ago,

between three and four years ago. Not big on YouTube at all. Like decent sized at the time in the COD community not a big enough deal to be a draw anywhere though and I was with I was at a family reunion in Florida and like the whole like extended family was at this bar karaoke was going everything everybody was getting pretty tipsy and I was just like fucking I'm gonna go up there and try this and I was like just in a stupor just like hey I got a lot of Twitter followers. I'll tweet your bar out.

I'll get tons of people here. You just hooked me and my family up with drinks. I was here for that. And was it paintball? Did you just say, no, no, no.

This was a family event. This was my mistake. Okay. Yeah. This is nothing to do. I think this happened more than once, but yeah. Yeah.

And then got, no, this is the only time I tried it guaranteed. Cause it works. And I had to cut my losses and I got a ton of free drinks only time i tried it guaranteed because it worked and i had to cut my losses and i got a ton of free drinks for the whole fam they're like how are you how are you bringing us all these like long island iced teas and beers out of nowhere and i'm like oh you know kind of a big deal and then just until the point that i took advantage of it too much and i went up there and i was like, hey, eight more beers, my good man.

I was like, the manager came out and was like, is this the same guy who's been giving free drinks to you for the last two hours? The guy's like, yeah, yeah. He's going to tweet our bar out and open it up. And the guy's like, no. Stop giving this guy free drinks. I was like, alright, see you later. And then I didn't go back to that bar

the rest of the trip. That was a nice hookup, though. That was pretty smooth. When you grabbed T-Mart's phone. I hope he didn't get in trouble for not asking a manager first. Do you remember when you grabbed T-Mart's phone at paintball? Oh, yeah. That was funny.

But also... Was it? No. No. It was mean. What happened there? That was... Was it? No. No. It was mean. What happened there? That, well, I, let me. Right?

That's the one. Okay. Yeah. Well, I didn't know if that was still off the books. I feel like this doesn't make him look bad at all, right? This is just the thing that he... You grabbed his phone and tweeted. Yes, yes.

We gave each other each other's phones and tweeted something for each other. And I thought that it was like a make the other person look bad contest and not like a good natured be nice thing uh which he did and i felt so bad because he tweeted like on my account like oh hey it's t-mart checking in for my buddy's twitter and it was like oh jesus and i tweeted something that uh involved him in something that he would not want to be associated with and it turns out his mom follows him on Twitter

Yes, and he's really bad He was so mad at me and I I was I was innocently thinking about it cuz I didn't have anybody I knew follow me On Twitter for real except for like you guys and he had like friends and family that followed him And it was so uncomfortable that whole dinner Applebee's just what I do What do you what do you put the you put the judgment on Taylor. You were like, oh, Taylor. That's not cool, Taylor.

You went dad mode on him. You were like, oh, Taylor. I was looking down at the other end of the table where you and White Boy were sitting there. And I was like, can I come sit down there with you guys? Me and White Boy and Kelly are on the other end of the table just you and white boy were sitting there and i was like can i come sit down there with you guys and you're just yeah we're me and white boy and kelly are on the other end of the table just having a great time just eating our appetizers that completely unaware that that like lives are being shattered at the other table people are crying we're over here just eating our mozzarella sticks like like having a having a good old time talking about paintball yeah i got scolded by me i don't remember i don't remember that like part of me in my head at the time was like i respect this guy and so i understand he's coming from the correct place

and i am in the wrong but the other point was like you're not my fucking dad what's happening here like dude oh that was funny new topic um xbox released another round of like 360 games that runs on the xbox one have you guys followed this at all hey i saw that they suck i do i'll give you the link i'm not into any of the games i saw release i saw that like most of them are arcade games. Braid, Doritos Crash Course. Were you longing for more Doritos Crash Course in your life? Hydro Thunder, Iron Brigade, Motocross Madness, Ms. Pac-Man.

Are you like, oh my god, thank goodness there's an Xbox 360 version of Ms. Pac-Man? I've seen scenes playing that shit over there. Peggle's a great game. I like Peggle, but it wasn't one that I was like going, Portal's still alive. Is that the new Portal 2? I don't know.

I guess Portal. I like Portal. I like the original one more than the long one. But Spelunky, Splosion Man, I actually like that game. But dude, if Splosion... I thought COD was going to come. I thought suddenly the COD 4 through Black Ops 2 or Monomorph or 3, thought cod was gonna come i thought suddenly like the cod four through modern or black ops two

or monomorph or three that's i was going for you know monomorph or three through cod four would suddenly be available on xbox one and cod two like i'd like the whole call of duty at franchise on there like it'd be really fun to get on and be able to play seamlessly and you know do do them all if you want to do like a quick anthology type video, if you did a video, if you were a COD guy, I know that's not really us at all, but

it'd be cool to make a COD video that went through all of them at this point since we're on Call of Duty 18 or whatever the fuck we're on. That'd be fun, right? I'm just... They put out some really shitty titles, or whatever the fuck we're on. That'd be fun, right? I'm just... They put out some really shitty titles. Or even the good ones. Halo Reach looks like the only big one.

Yeah. I don't know if Fable's big. They just didn't do many AAA. Fallout 3. Yeah, they should definitely release COD 4 at the very least. That would be huge. Right? I think.

I mean, how old is the average Call of Duty player? They were playing COD 4, I'm sure. Yeah, yeah. I think there's a lot of people who have a soft spot for COD 4. If they would do that, I'd definitely get on and play. Because I don't know how it's going to work. It's the same servers, right? Or it'd be different? Would we have to worry about all the issues

that you'd run into if I got on Xbox 360 and tried to play COD 4 right now? I can get into a lobby with a few tries, but it seems like there's a lot of guys who, for some reason, to this day, think it's fun to fly around on Backlot and shoot for the automatic grenade launchers. It's like, what are you doing?

Why are you still here? I want to come back and play the actual game and you still think it's fun to like ruin the fun of the 18 people who have a soft spot for for backlot and want to come back and play some cage match or something yeah i got into a backlot game like that and and they were just hacking like crazy i think i was able to fly too like it was the host gave everyone these superpowers yep and um very annoying and it'll stick with you like a virus on your system yeah i didn't know that you gotta like reset your system well i think it's time to tell everyone about sherry's berries so let me pull them right out christmas is just a couple days away.

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I like those things. Someone got me some last year. They were just covered. They really are decadent. Like it's a strawberry, but then it's like layer upon layer of deliciousness on top. So you both tried them. Did they send you Sherry's Berries? No.

They sent them to my house. I would have had them for the show, but they sent them like two weeks ago, and it was time to eat them. I want them fresh. Yeah. But yeah, they're like a super high-end, decadent treat. The strawberry is like a perfect strawberry, and it's covered with like this chocolate. Some of them have nuts, and some of them have nuts and

some of them there's white chocolate they don't cut any corners they have white people pick their produce with berries that's the the term i was looking for the nature of it is there are no corners cut the strawberries are perfect the chocolate is perfect it's like decorated perfect it's it's it's uh it's a high-end treat each berry is like a little artisan created work of art it's very nice so yeah if you're struggling for christmas gifts i know i am i'm literally gonna do this i swear to god i'm gonna order some sherry's berries like that's my gift this year for my girl like that'll be perfect just get it done i have nothing i always put it off i never have christmas gifts for anyone. If I've got some swag laying around that I can shit, like you guys got those knives that year or whatever.

I don't think those were extras laying around. I think I intentionally went and got those for you guys. But most of the time, like my dad was telling this friend the other day, he's like, yeah, Kyle's kind of in the gun business. He gets a lot of extra stuff and I get the overflow. I was like, yeah, and jeremy he gets dad's overflow he tries to attach onto that nozzle so but yeah if you if you if you need a quick christmas gift or you just have a sweet tooth sherry's berries is a very delicious treat so check them out i think i'm gonna take advantage of this too this year because i'm in deep shit with Christmas presents right now. I haven't done really much at all. I've got stuff for Melissa

and that's about the end of it. One person in my life I got taken care of. Maybe I'll send all the rest Sherry's Berries and that's it. Everybody gets. I take care of Jackie and I'm not done yet.

And then Jackie takes care of every other person in our universe. Nice. Oh, that's great. I don't buy gifts for anyone. I get my dad a gift every year. I always get him something very nice because I appreciate all the love and upbringing that he gave me and all that stuff very much. I say that earnestly. So I always

get him something cool. Like one year I got him a really fancy 1911 like showpiece, like ivory handles and like lots of golden laying shit. And this year I'm getting him a double barrel pump shotgun. One year I got him like a SBR, a little short barreled rifle. I always get him like a two or three thousand dollar gun, something like that, every year. And like he says... What'd your mom get? Wow. I wouldn't get her a gift.

Yeah, fuck her, right? I wouldn't get her a gift. Yeah, fuck her, right? I wouldn't get her a gift? Absolutely not. I don't think she's ever gotten me a gift. No, absolutely not. That's hilarious. That really... The idea.

Just the very idea. The thought. I'll get... Yeah, just the thought of buying her something, going out and shopping for something for her. No, if anything, I'd like to go Grinch mode and go take something of hers around the holidays like like i was talking to my dad the other day like we sit and talk about like how rough he's got it back at home and uh and so like

we were we were over there late he was helping me work on some stuff it was like 8 p.m and we just finally wrapped up we're both all sore and we're sitting there in a chair drinking a beer and a very completely classless with our beers just just drinking them and uh and it took me a second to get that i was like is there some yeah go on and i was like well i think i'm gonna go home and get something to eat dad and he's like yeah i think i'm gonna go home and might be a can of ravioli or something and have a mayonnaise sandwich i don't know i was like mom won't don't know. I was like, mom won't cook anything. He's like, oh, hell no. She won't cook, cook me nothing. No, she, she might fix something

for herself, but nothing for me. And, uh, and so later on, we're talking about coffee and I was like, what do you, what do you get your coffee out of? He's got, he's like, well, I got a drip pot, you know, like an old school thing. And I was like, well, you do like, I was like, you should try the Keurig. Cause I know he only drinks two cups of coffee in the morning. He drinks one in bed. Then he gets up and drinks another on the back porch and that's his coffee. And I was like, well, you do like, I was like, you should try the Keurig. Cause I know he only drinks two cups of coffee in the morning. He drinks one in bed. Then he gets up and drinks another on the back porch and that's his coffee. And I was like, you should try this Keurig thing. I was like, it's always really tasty. You make the perfect amount. And you know, I went over the, the, the pros of the Keurig machine. He's like, well, your mother has one. Maybe I'll try. And I even told him how to use it. I was like, it's easy. You know, you told him how to use it. And

so like, he reports back to me like two days later he's like well your mother caught me trying to use her coffee machine this morning i was like he was like she came fucking unglued i was like i was like why he's like well she said i put the wrong kind of water in it i was like what kind of water she put in it he's like she apparently she purifies it first before she puts it in the machine. And I was like, so you put some non-purified well water in her machine and she had a fit? He's like, oh yeah, she's screaming. Came fucking unglued. And I'm just feeling so, so yeah. Mom gets nothing.

Grinch mode on mom. I should go in there and take her Keurig, take her Apple, her Airbook away, something like that for her. Nothing for her, absolutely not. You know know sometimes divorce isn't the worst option that's what i told him i told him the other day i told my dad i was like you know i remember when you called me and told me you guys were getting a divorce i got a phone and i was like good good yeah that'll be good yeah and and i won't go into like what he said after that but um but you know they're together yeah think similarly about you that you're in great little shithead no no i'm

sure she uh she'd probably be have her feelings hurt if she if she if she heard all this but but you know i'm just being honest you know i just i feel like she's very difficult to get along with she's she's uh you know doesn't have much of a sense of humor. She's just so high-strung. That's the real thing. She's really uptight and high-strung. I remember, I guess they caught wind of the show or something a month ago. They were like, we might start watching more of that show of yours. You're like, well, there's five or six hours a week. Good luck with that. Go right ahead.

There's like 10,000 hours or something like that. Dig around. Have fun. You'll get through one episode of me talking about period blood, looking like I slaughtered a lamb in a bed, and you'll be like, I can't listen to this anymore. Go right ahead. I don't care. Yeah, those two are great. But yeah, I don't care for mom too much. But yeah, I'll get dad a gift.

I'll get my girlfriend a gift because that's mom too much but yeah i'll get dad a gift uh i'll get my girlfriend a gift because you know that's mandatory you can't not get your girlfriend a gift and uh probably get something for kitty and that's it that's always it i don't really get any gifts for anybody else i used to but the people don't appreciate them and and that always offends me and i end up like liking people less for having gotten them a gift in the end so it's like Christmas is fucking stupid I'll get gifts that are for the people I actually love so that's what I do now

yeah I mean or Sherry's berries you know it's a quick quick snack for them maybe I'll poison some and send them to my mom why waste a delicious berry like Sherry's at least poison a lesser food you know yeah that's true i need chimichurri berries i'll send her some of them it's like ted's turnips

to to poison do you want to go through this tranny album and then uh so i just need to count how many of them there are is it so if people don't, here's the background. It was last week or the week before we were on Backpage and there was all these transsexual prostitutes. And I maintained that at least half of them, I couldn't tell that they

were at one time guys. And Kyle and maybe Taylor were like, I'm a lock. I have a superpower at knowing what's what. And they could tell which ones were guys and which ones were girls. So now we can put it to the test. I looked through it, and all of these are like PG. So I'm going to go to the thing.

I'm sure we'll have to fix the images. Some of these are pretty tough. I don't know how I'm gonna fare now that I see these because... See, I feel like the ones last week were tough too. It's just that, you know, we're literally on a transsexual prostitute page so you know the answer in advance. Now that you don't know the answer in advance because it's mixed, it's going to be a bigger test. So do you want to start? I think we should. You want to write down our answers and then compare who has the most effective trandar?

I don't know. Tradar. Tradar. i like that all right i we could we could compare answers openly on each one and then maybe check the oh we could just go is there where's the answer key actually don't tell me i will cheat uh chis texted me the answer key but but I... All right, so let's go girl number one. I took my phone and placed it face down so that... So individual number one has the spiked shoulder pads, and she's a little cross-eyed with blue eyes. I'm going to say that as a woman. That is a girl, naturally.

That person has a vagina. Hmm, let's see. Shame about her eyes there. Her teeth have so many spaces, it looks like her tongue's in jail. Oh, you guys are rough. I'm going to say that's a girl. I just feel like her collarbones and neck are very girl-like. I feel like her forehead is very feminine.

Let's go back. I will agree. So that's a unanimous. Unanimous that forehead is very feminine. Let's go back. I will agree. So that's a unanimous. Unanimous that one is a girl. All right. I'm going to try and look here. It is a girl. We all got that one right.

All right. Number two. Girl. Kyle says girl. No, I'm going to say guy. Because I want to be different and because that looks like a wig. I'm going to abstain because when I looked at the answer for girl, I saw it. And this is transsexual.

Ah. Yes. Yes. I was wrong. So that's 100%. I have an A. I'll tell you why I was wrong here. So here are the things I looked at.

She has a dick. Obviously, that's the main thing. But here's why I thought it was a girl. So look at her arms. They seem really skinny, which I feel like is a feminine thing. I feel like most dudes, even if they're little dudes, have more mass there, and girls just have these spaghetti arms most of the time. And her forehead, although she's Asian, really throws me off

because they have a flatter face. And I feel like some of the masculine features that I would notice in a black or white person just aren't there inherently in an Asian face. There's no Adam's apple thing going on. Of course, it's flat chested. And now that I look at like like the bus line I guess I can see that like there's some not only what I think to the one three here hmm yeah man that's tough it's tough because I feel like in the face I see guyism, but that is really a womanly shape. Like the hips. Man.

Taylor? I'm going to say man because there's no reason for them to put an image like that up unless they're trying to fool you. Hmm. Because every instinct says woman, which means it's got to fool you. Hmm. Because every instinct says woman, which means it's got to be wrong. It is. I'm trying not to say man.

I'm trying to get this right. But it's a... Transgender person. Transgender. It's transgender. I'll tell you what clued me in. It's the hands and the veins on the right forearm. Looks like she's been through a few woodshop courses.

Yeah. Youth. I don't see what you see. To me, the only guy stuff I see on her is in the face. Everything else looks very girl to me. I will admit that on her left forearm, it's kind of a little muscly, but nothing that I wouldn't see on someone. I'm talking about her left hand. I feel like the knuckles and everything. Look at her pinky

finger. Girls have dainty hands. Those look almost like my hands on there, but with nice nails. That hand to me just looks like an over 30 girl. Alright, let's move on to girl number four. So what's the score? I'm not playing because I keep seeing the answer. You know there's like a list of 12 and you can't help but see five when you look at four um

but taylor is winning three to two uh next one is i don't know. 50% sure. I'm going to say... See, the no Adams apple, and so that's trending towards woman. I'm going to say woman. Kyle? I'm going to say woman, too. looks it's it's her makeup is well done

okay I mean that's all I got to go on you're both right it's a woman yeah next one boy or girl that is hmm have they been doing every other so far because That is... Hmm. Have they been doing every other so far? Because now's the time they would switch it up to try and fool us. They have not been doing every other. I'm looking at this pattern, and it's pretty random to me. My conclusion is based on a false premise. I will say girl.

Girl. You're both right. The hair. Yeah. girl girl you both right the hair that yeah I thought you might trip on that one all right number six transgender and I was about to say Jimmy Dean sausage the name of the contest this lady is wearing a very tight dress with like those kinds of string going through the side that we use to tie the turkey. She is testing the tensile strength of that dress on the side there. I think this is my chance to step ahead, but I'll say this is a transgender. I'm going to say transgender as well.

You are both right. Yeah. All right. I didn't expect to have the lead, but I'm happy I'm here. All right. All right. Uh-oh. Kyle's nemesis.

Is she Asian? That's where I was going with that. No, Latina, if anything. So very feminine curves, but if we've learned anything from previous answers on the test, that does not mean anything i say female i'm going to say transgender it's tied up again it's tied up again yes that i took a risk and her nails that's a mess

yeah look at how she painted her now she's got one mess. Look at how she painted her nail. She's got one nail red. That's a girly thing. All right. She's all girl. All right. That was trendy like two years ago. Now, all right. I know this answer. Well, you got the key.

Yes. Yeah. I wasn't pretending to suggest superiority. Yeah. Hmm. I'm thinking transgender on this one. The next. Looks like there's an Adam's apple hidden away

Kyle's pursing his eyes studying the image let me check it with my glasses off how does that help I'm going to say it's a girl Let me check it with my glasses off. How does that help? It doesn't. I'm going to say it's a girl. He said transgender. Oh, is it over?

Yeah. Yeah. All right. Let me just double count to make sure I'm looking at the right answer. She's the one that looks like she'd be on a wrestling team. Mm-hmm. All right. Kyle, what was your answer? I say that's a female.

You are right. Yes! Up by two! Kyle's up by one. Kyle's up by one. Okay, yeah, that's right. All right, all right. So now we are on girl number nine here.

Trying to steal points from me. All right. God, I'm on a mid-season slide here sit in the background i don't know if you're gonna make the playoffs oh there's only two of us this is really kind of a super bowl right here you face wings redemption of the thunderdome the winner here does so or this is like professional sports in the 1920s where it's like i didn, I didn't do too well, but not enough men out there. You still make it. Ah, man. This has got to be a

transgender person. I'm agreeing on transgender. You're both right. It was very overexposed. Yeah. Washing out most of the detail. Alright, number 10.

I need to scroll up so people can see. Female. Now that I'm looking at the nails thing, I'm seeing where Kyle's answers are coming from more. I'm going to say female. God, this could be a season changer here. I think it to say female. God, this could be a season changer here. I think it is a female. I think it's a franchise.

So everybody's going with female on girl number 10? Yeah. Everybody's wrong. The Asians! You both just slept with a transgender woman. Okay. Number 11. That with a transgender woman. Okay. Number 11. That's a five head.

That's a girl. Taylor? That's a girl. You're both right. Alright. And number 12. The guy on the left is a man. Extra credit.

You can't see the neck, which is a big issue here. Female. Wait, wait, wait, wait a minute. Wait a minute. I saw another feature. Hang on. What? What feature are you noticing?

I'm looking at those claw hands. Look how she's holding that phone. Have you ever seen anybody hold a phone like that? Look at this shit. Got like two fingers here. She's doing a whole thing. It's like she put the claw on her apple. She doesn't have a case on.

Risky. Man, she's a case on. Uh-uh. Risky. Man, she's really accessorized there, too. I feel like she's very well-dressed. Transgender, final answer. Hmm. This is for all the tranny marbles. I will say that's a woman. Take the risk.

Wow, that is a risk. I thought you were going to use strategy, but Kyle is wrong on that. And we really need some sort of tiebreaker here. I can't believe it. That's impressive. Look at the knees. I saw this as a tall individual in the claw thing and everything.

I guess I should have went with my gut. The knees really say girl to me. It was mostly height that I was thinking. That I thought too. She seems taller than the guy. But I figured heels. She's just, look at her. She's got the watch on, the bracelets, the bag. She's well dressed.

The hair is extensions. But the old Adam's apple hide up. You both got 75% right. That's pretty good. That passes. Yeah. We've got a C.

Solid C. C's get degrees. And trainees, I guess. I think we did pretty well at that. And those were tough ones, I feel like. I feel like those are much tougher than what the average field that you have to deal with out in the world. I feel like they didn't make the girls masculine enough. I felt like there were a couple

girl gimme's. The one girl in particular, she had, I think, a Notre Dame hoodie on or something. I thought that was tough. That one was tough for me because it looked like a boy in a few ways. I couldn't tell. The first one, I thought

was really girl. I couldn't tell. The first one I thought was really girl. I saw we had a transgendered fan who posted on the subreddit, and we looked into her profile, and she got massive dick. Massive dick. I'm sure you're listening out there. You just gotta know,

we're not transphobic or anything. If anything, we're pretty fucking liberal here, socially speaking. I think we all are. So any transgendered people who get offended by us, socially speaking. I think we all are. So any transgendered people who get offended by us, and I don't think there were any. She in particular, I think, got the joke and realized that we're not fucking KKK on here.

I got a lot of personal messages, actually, and they were all really supportive. They could see I was trying to be, you know. To get your pronouns correct. Yeah, I was like, I think they prefer to go your pronouns correct yeah to get my yeah I was like I think I still slip up on that too calling like Caitlyn Jenner he and it's okay to slip up because it's not coming

it's not like I slipped up and called you a nigger or something like I just slipped up yeah that's much worse like you do that and it's clear that you've got some like that you're just secretly holding back bigotry right if you let one of those slip out but if you let a he slip out it doesn't mean you're bigot it just means like

having a hard time like keeping your duck straight in this uh crazy mixed up shook up world we're living in yeah it means we're in a world that's entering a new phase everybody's trying to to reset a bit and figure it out there's gonna be a learning curve there. Yeah, I'll call you whatever you want to be called. I don't care. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's a good courtesy to extend to someone. As long as they're not being like attention-seeking, like

oh, call me Lord Commander from now on or something. Identify as the Lord Commander of the Night's Watch. And you can't tell me that you don't. I don't. My friends call me Megatron. Kind of a nickname's Watch. And you can't tell me that you don't. My friends call me Megatron. Kind of a nickname I earned. I also make them tell it to me. Everyone in my safe space

knows me by that name. I think everybody, and at least Woody, you are a bit older, but I think most people in me and Kyle's age bracket are socially really liberal. There's a crazy conservative no gays, no abortion a bit older, but I think most people in me and Kyle's age bracket are socially really liberal. Like, there's a crazy conservative, like, no gays, no abortion every so often, but it seems like the overwhelming majority, really socially liberal, okay with all this shit, you know?

I don't know that many. I think I am, too. Oh, you are? Yeah, I was just talking about your age bracket. I wasn't sure about how that mixed up. Yeah, but every so often, I don't know. My wife is. Everybody I know is.

But there are people who aren't my age also. Yeah. Well, I think it's time to talk about our second sponsor of the night, Credit Karma. I think this is our second time they've been on the show. Your credit score is one of the most important numbers in your life. It has a huge impact on your finances, what you might pay for credit card interest, home and auto loans, as well as student debt. With Credit Karma, there's no catch.

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so I don't know if it's true or not, but I mean, it was right there on the internet. Go to Credit Karma, get your stuff, and then immediately file and have all your corrections made even if maybe you fucked up but apparently by law they have to have it sorted out in 30 days and they're short-staffed right now and there's a bunch of holiday days too so people are taking like vacation times to like extend that period between christmas and new's. And if there's a mistake or even not on your credit record, you can just file it as a thing. And then if they don't get back to you in 30 days, which they might not because no one's working,

you can get it fixed. Nice. Fix your credit report. Take advantage of the New Year's vacation. Yeah, that's an amazing loophole. You should take advantage of that. I'm going to get on there and see if I got anything going on and do the same. That's a really good tip.

So, yeah, definitely go check out Credit Karma, this show. Go make that happen because it appears that you can get some stuff taken off your port whether you're entitled to it or not. I can't stress how important your credit score really is to you. It really is a very important thing. And if you could get a little edge on the whole world this holiday season, do that.

Credit score is a funny thing. It totally doesn't matter until it does, at which point it is your entire life. It is your shelter. It's your car. It's your transportation. At one point, all of a sudden, whether or not you can get along in this world

or not matters. Suddenly, there's your credit score. So what kind of things lower your credit score severely? Not paying bills is the key one, or paying bills late. But there's lots of weird things that can. Like pulling your credit report, when they do a hard pull, as it's referred to, at an auto dealership or really anywhere. It could be one of those rent-to-own places. You've got to be real careful with that.

Whenever you're letting somebody pull your credit, I know when people are shopping for cars, they bounce from dealership to dealership, and they might let them do pull after pull after pull. You do five of those in a weekend, and that can damage your score. If you're on some sort of line, let's say you've got a 740 beacon and you need a 745 to get this top, the lowest possible interest rate, which would be zero, right? And, you know, you do five hard pulls and suddenly you drop from a 745 to a 738 or something. And you're like, shit, I just really fucked myself over here.

Having a court order you to pay money, that hurts your credit report. There's lots of things. Lots and lots of things, actually. Having a court be like, hey, you haven't paid off this car. You've got to do this or you're going to jail or something. It's weird. I remember on my credit report, this has gone by now. It was from my college days.

I got into a car accident. And everybody felt like the car accident wasn't their fault. I was pulling into a toll booth. And this is before it was an easy pass. And the lady, without using her turn signal, cut right in front of me at the last second. I hit the brakes and I slid into her. So from my perspective, it's like you didn't use a turn signal. You cut in front of me.

There was like a cop there because it was a toll booth who wrote up the report and said she was at fault. I think he gave her a ticket. There was a toll booth operator who saw it go down and got interviewed by the policeman and said it was her fault. And then course i thought it was her fault the only person who didn't was her and the trouble was she was dating an attorney in the passenger seat and this guy just like knew how to work the system he knew what he was doing and uh they just you know nope not us not us not us and eventually went to court and uh this guy testified for like two hours like it just kept going and going and going yeah hit matlock yeah and uh his it was a weird thing

like i had an attorney but it was like provided to us from the insurance company like i didn't i know him or i really uh he didn like, prep me on how to testify. He just said tell the truth. That was all. Okay. So we get there, and her story didn't even add up. Like, the way that she lined it up, he had, like, the physics. Like, you know, if he's going this fast, this is how much time or how much distance he would have traveled.

And what you're saying just isn't even true. Like a poster board with strings and thumbtacks attached to different things. He didn't even get to testify. By the time it was his turn and he wanted to do a closing argument, the judge was like, Are you shitting me, man? The judge was falling asleep. The judge was falling asleep on the stand,

which I don't know how common that was, but I was really shocked by it. I was like, like, like this is a really big deal to us. And you literally can't keep your eyes open. And at one point, like, like,

so when it was time for my guy to do the closing argument, he had already made up his mind and he's like, do you have to go? And the guy's like, well, I it's closing argument. Like, don't I get to like make my case?

And he's like, well, if you've already made make my case and he's he's like well if you've already made up your mind and uh he's like i was gonna explain how the the argument they're making just isn't possible you know that um that their story has holes in it bottom line uh they found me 51 at fault and that's significant because it means that i have to pay for half of their car and they don't pay for any of mine yeah yeah so um i felt like it was that's terrible what a fucking asshole judge yeah judges suck there needs to be a better system for judges i don't know what it is but fuck judges suck man i really felt like justice wasn't done that day no it wasn't no i had insurance so

i didn't pay anything but your insurance rates went Yeah, your premiums went up a bit. I don't think they did. I think actually what happened was there was a settlement that could have happened. And my father talked to the insurance company. He's like, we're thinking about settling. But the attorney who was in the passenger seat on their side was really rude to our insurance company. And it became personal for them. He was apparently just obstinate and difficult to talk to through the whole process and they didn't want to settle at all and my father

was like i don't know this thing's not going well like your attorney that you brought here seems like some sort of rookie like we might just take the settlement it might be a better deal and they said look we're gonna go on with this thing. Nothing will happen to you. We won't raise your rates. If we're ordered to pay, USAA will pay it. You are now insulated. You've won personally, but we want to go to court and see if we can get this guy to lose. And they failed, but that's how it went down. Anyway, on my record was a court order to pay for this guy's car.

And I think usaa did like immediately like so i wasn't negligent in fulfilling all of my duties or anything but because there was a court order to pay for something i had a ding on my credit report for seven years and and that to me was just like you know insult to injury it just really sucked like i felt like like you know let's say this small claims court thing happens right that i talked about last week and somehow i end up having to pay for like so it was twenty eight hundred dollars of wood i put a down payment of fourteen hundred and she never delivered it right let's say hypothetically they're like well wait a minute you have to pay for the other 1400

now like if it goes down like that anytime someone orders you to pay money in court that's a negative on your credit report even though in my head it's like you know i paid it immediately it wasn't a late payment or anything i never felt obligated to pay it before could the judge somehow at the end be like you know we could just set aside this ruling and are you sure you don't want to settle mr gamer tag you know could he pull one of those be like because it's not gonna go well for you if you don't and you could just be like yeah let me just are we all good here yeah just kind of slowly back out of the courtroom yeah that's not far from what happened with the last time when uh like

people know these stories but with the house that was six grand i withheld it from the general contractor because he owed it to someone else they put a lien against my house uh and then they were about to say all right you have to take this six grand and pay the sub and i'm like why is this this hurts my credit record this isn't fair and they're like well why don't you guys work this all out you know out of court make a settlement and then there'll this? This hurts my credit record. This isn't fair. And they're like, well, why don't you guys work this all out, you know, out of court, make a settlement, and then there'll be no court. So my credit report wasn't ever hit.

But that's almost exactly what happened. Yeah. Anyway, Taylor asked what kind of things hurt your credit report. Not paying, paying late, court ordering you to pay somebody. Those things are all dings. I guess the idea is that... If you destroy your apartment and then skip town, that sort of thing will hurt your credit score.

Credit report's probably least on your list of worries if you're destroying property and just skipping town, though. Hey, I mean, it was the only real way... It was the only negative for the whole thing. I didn't mean to destroy that apartment, first of all. I didn't feel like... I feel like somebody should have let me know at some point in life that those sprinkler systems

are taking time bombs and don't touch them. Nobody ever told me... So, just so you know, Taylor, those little sprinklers you see in the ceiling, that's a hand grenade sitting there in a government... Not in your house, but okay. Well, in an apartment, in government buildings, in places that are required to have them.

Some hotels. With that little red plastic thing in there. That's a hand grenade. You pull that red thing, that's a goddamn pen. What happened was it was my birthday, and I'm ironing my, I got all my laundry back from the laundromat. It's all sitting there on the floor. I'm ironing up my birthday dinner clothes to go out on my birthday dinner date. And I get my shirt all ironed. It's looking nice. And I'm like,

I need to hang this up somewhere. I had one of those ironing boards that attaches to a door and like folds down. And I'm like, ah, sprinkler. So I hang it up there. Now the shirt's hanging from the ceiling. You know, I'm kind of a tall guy. I can reach right up there and grab it off an eight foot ceiling. And so I'm ironing my pants now. I get the pants all ironed. I go ahead and put those on, get my new pants on. And now it's time to put on my nice iron fancy shirt. So I'm trying to get it down.

I'm trying to get it in. And the hook part is, like, wedged in to the sprinkler. Yeah, it's stuck in there. So I kind of twist it and torque it back and forth, and it goes pop! And that little red thing snaps. And that red thing is like a pin stuck in there holding back the gates of hell. And when that broke, the thing slips down, a valve is opened, and all of the water that has been contained in that sprinkler system

since that apartment building was constructed in, like, the 70s, you know, the water's just sitting in those in those in those steel pipes yeah there's iron pipes or whatever just sitting there the whole time under pressure so it's just rust and it comes at me like a fire hose so much pressure so much volume i mean it's it's like a there's a suddenly there's a waterfall coming out of the ceiling of my apartment. And keep in mind, all of my clothing that I own is right there at my feet getting soaked with this rust water, like all my clothes. So I'm just like, I panic. I honestly think I did every, you know, I didn't do anything stupid, but I start moving

stuff from that room back to the bedroom. My laptop, my television, trying to save stuff. But it's coming more and more and more and at one point i grabbed the towel and just put it up on it and i don't know what i was thinking because that's not gonna work but like the towel being over it meant all the water just went into the towel and came down my arm and it was just like i could feel the volume at that point i could see how much what and it's just pouring gallon upon gallon just the floor is you, it's standing water now. So I run back to the bedroom. I'm just like, what the fuck am I going to do?

And keep in mind, the fire alarm is going off. Me now, me now, me now, me now. Throughout the entire apartment complex, it's going off. So I strip off my completely soaked clothes, put on new clothes that are dry, get a towel over my head and then you got to keep in mind the sprinkler that's going off is right next to the door and there's only one door it's an apartment so i gotta run through the water to get out i like slam the door behind me and i look and all my neighbors are outside standing because the alarm's going off

and nobody knows it's me and i'm just standing out there with him i'm like it's fucking me by the way i was like it's my apartment i was like the sprink there with him i'm like it's fucking me by the way i was like it's my apartment i was like the sprinkler's going off now there's not a fire so everybody can calm down and the guy's like can i look can i see and i'm like go right a fucking head it's 3b over there and like he opens the door and cracks it about this much and it soaks him in a line because the waters is blasting right at the door he goes because the water's just blasting right at the door he goes and he's just instantly soaked in a line head to foot he's like holy shit and i'm like yeah like i said they it was fat they told me how many thousands of gallons they took out of there i i

don't remember if it was four or twenty thousand gallons i i don't remember the number but i it was an enormous amount they were using these huge push broom squeegees to like push it out of my house but it was standing water like as like much deeper than you would think could stand in an apartment and uh and i just left i just got all my shit and and moved and left just to fuck this follow this for a second so after that you moved into like someone's a like shared an apartment with a couple other guys. You had to sleep on a couch. You did that for a while.

Then you eventually moved back home. Had you not broken that sprinkler, you might have never moved back home. You might have never got into YouTube. There'd be no PKA. That was a butterfly effect moment. No, I don't think that was the butterfly effect moment. No? No, because that apartment was only, like, no, that's not what triggered the move.

It was the breakup with the girlfriend, really, that triggered the whole move, and the depression that led to the heavy video game use and all that. Like, the apartment was just kind of a bump in the road, and, like, you know, I got a new apartment, like, later after that. Like, I uh, you know, I got a new apartment like later after that, like I stayed on those guys couch for a while, but then after that, we actually got an apartment where I had my own bedroom, et cetera.

And so it was really the breakup with the girlfriend that led me into my spiraling depression that, that I didn't know you dated her again. I don't know. I'm a little mixed up on the history. Well, um, yeah,

you know, I moved to Atlanta to like be with her or whatever that, right. I just didn't know. I'm a little mixed up on the history. Well, yeah, I moved to Atlanta to be with her or whatever. Right, I just didn't know that effort was successful. Yeah, well, semi-successful, yeah. I moved there, dated her for a while, then we broke up, and then I went into my spiraling sadness. As you do. Where you got really good at COD. Yeah, right?

I was a butterfly. It'll get you a fucking, like, you'll be an all-star snd player sound how we're in fools like it's nobody's business in the rain on vacant i can just picture depressed kyle sitting there playing cod for for hours on end your two foreign booze hound roommates just bothering you that sounds like it was just a good uh like a breeding chamber for more depression i deal with discomfort really well i feel like not the kind of discomfort like being out in the wilderness but the kind of comfort like your roommate coming home every night and playing uh like like uh techno music uh till till four in the morning like like there was just a period

of time where i just got no sleep i just didn't't sleep. I was just a vampire, I guess. I don't know how I powered through it. I remember there was a time when I was drinking so many Red Bulls and so many Red Line energy drinks that my boss had to sit me down and be like, you're going to have to tone it down a little. You were screaming at that woman about a chrome grill, Kyle. She wasn't into it. She wasn't into it. She wasn't into it.

I was like, but look at the grill! Look at the grill! You're shaking at her. I literally was. Caffeine was my drug of choice. My manager, one of them, he owned a GNC. He had a couple of them that he owned. He saw me drinking these Red Bulls.

By the four pack. I'd get a four pack and I'd pour them all into a big gulp, like that big, giant cup. Oh, that's gross. Yeah, sure, as you do. No, no, nothing in it. I just used the cup. See, I'd pour the cup so it could guzzle them.

Yeah, I know. That's what I was saying was gross. It was four Red Bulls. No, no, no, no, no. I just put just the four Red Bulls. There was no water. It was a different story. I would have this chalice of Red Bull, and I would literally double hand it and like

glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, try to like get into my system in one big punch to like energize me because I was just coming off a two hour sleep, three hours sleep and, you know, partying the night before, drinking beers and stuff. So like my manager was like, what you need is some Red Line. And I was like, what's Red Line? He's like, oh, it kicks Red Bull's ass. Red Line energy drink. It comes in these, like, steel bottles.

Like, it's not like aluminum where you can, like, you know, crush it. It's like a hard steel bottle. And he gives me this thing. He slides a four-pack of them across the table. He's like, brought these for you today. And he turns around, and he's in his filing cabinet. He's doing stuff. And I crack one open.

I'm like, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. And I kill the turns around and he's in his filing cab and he's doing stuff and i crack one open i'm like and i kill the thing he turns and he's facing away he's like but only drink half only half of one of those at a time he turns around i'm like and he's like oh shit bro he's like get ready to ride the bull for real and sure enough like that was the day when like i'm showing this uh this black lady uh an expedition. And it's like a limited top-of-the-line expedition with the white pearl paint job and chrome everywhere. And I'm just trembling, literally trembling. My hands would be shaking. And I'd be like, but look at the grill.

Look at the grill! And I'm slapping the bumpers. I'm like, you see this bumper? Pow! Pow! I'm hitting it hard, like so hard you can hear it resonate. I'm like, those are 35-mile-per-hour impact bumpers. You see this seat right here?

Sit in that seat. I'm like, I open the door. Sit in that seat. And I fucking close the door, hop in the driver's seat. I'm like, you know what that seat's doing right now? She's like, what? I'm like, it's weighing you. It knows how much you weigh.

It knows how tall you are. And those airbags are going to deflate in a customized speed, shape, and softness just for you, man. Is that true? That's Ford's safety system. That's what we're bringing to the table right now. You see that door right now? Side impact door beams, man. Three of them. Horizontal beams protecting you from impacts up to 35 miles per hour.

You won't even get a freaking scratch. Those are airbags up there, too. Whole curtain airbags coming down. I'm just like red-faced and trembling. Sweating. She's so uncomfortable trying the door. It's locked. Wait, I got some more features.

And it's just, like, Gagliardi's looking at me. He's just like, you need to tone it down, man. Like, I think you were scaring that last lady. No, that red line stuff is no joke. It's supposed to be, like, a pre-workout supplement like that was its intended purpose is that like you do it's like you drink half of one or whatever before you work out and you just are full of energy and i went to get an energy drink before work one day real early and i was like i just i was you know trying the field i'd had some monsters some some red bull

tried some rock star here and there and i'm like same day red line uh no no no god i would have been like kyle shaking at people right but i tried the red line and it was like i had never heard of it but i drank the whole thing i went back and i like threw the empty one in the garbage and my manager was like do you just drink that whole thing right now i was like yeah i'm feeling a little out of it. I want to see if I'm going to get a Red Bull or this. And he goes, oh, Jesus Christ, man. Like, you watch yourself because you're going to start sweating soon. You're going to start, you know, shaking because of all that caffeine.

I'm like, it's fine. I drink a lot of caffeine. I can handle it. I drink like 10 sodas a day. And he's like, all right. And like 20 minutes later, my heart is just like, like doing a tune. My hands are sweaty and shaking, and it was was awful i will never have another one of those it was like panic inducing i liked him i

liked him a lot that was uh that would get me going fuel myself oh yeah yeah i know you are we uh we even had a we eventually got a red bull machine at the dealership so it was just right there and like my thing is i would always if i took a car in on trade i mean i'm not gonna steal anything out of there before the customer has a chance to get their shit but if you leave anything in there like that's mine now right like if you leave the dealership you leave this car with us and your shit's in it like well that's my shit now like so i had a crazy cd collection back in the day um just just always took the cds like i every car in the trade-in lot, I'd go

out there, turn it on, hit the eject button, open the change pockets, look for change everywhere. I would have, I don't know, I'd make $10 a day sometimes. Just going through all the trade-ins out there. I'd just be feeding that Red Bull machine with the nickels, dimes, and quarters

I was taking out of cars. I drank way too much Red Bull. But I needed it. It's the only way I could work. Do you drink Red Bull now? Yeah. I think Monster's a lot better. I like the taste of Red Bull.

It's a bit of an acquired taste, but it's what I like now. Monster tastes too sweet to me. Not that Red Bull's some kind of health drink, but I like the taste of Red Bull. I know what my caffeine levels are. My girlfriend, so I stay up late a lot. Sometimes I'll stay up until 3 or 4 in the morning watching TV, playing video games in bed. I'll make fun of my girlfriend for dozing off and falling asleep

because she'll literally not go into narcolepsy mode because her medication or something, she's taking two different medications and they combine night to like make her super drowsy and uh and so she bought caffeine pills she's got this big fucking bottle of caffeine pills and i did the math and there's like i think they're 200 milligrams a piece and there's like 4800 total milligrams of caffeine in that bottle. And I'm just like, you shouldn't even be able to buy this much caffeine. Like you should be on a list somewhere. Like you bought,

bought some Sudafed or something, but I haven't tried those yet. I've never taken caffeine pills, but I, but I'm curious. I've tried one. You know, the ones that you can get from like,

when you stop at some wayward highway in Montana, and it's the last one for a while, and it's all big 18 wheel a while and it's all big 18 wheelers and there's a whole section there of like no does or like super wasp and like those names or there's like a bee or a hornet on it yeah yeah yellow jackets yeah yellow jacket energy fizz or whatever and a bunch of my friends this is years ago in college had been taking adderall and whatnot to study and i was like well i don't have any adderall and i'd like to study so i'm going to go to the gas station and take a couple of you know harry's liquid hornet juice and just you know take those liquid

capsules and see if it makes me feel like adderall does where i'm really focused and and you know not like shaken and out of control just very like i got to get this done i got to get this done i'm very like anal about what has to be done. Not even a little bit similar. Those things, like, I would sit down to study, and I don't know how truckers take these, I'd read like six words, and then I'd be up and thinking about like,

well, they could have done so many other ways to finish the Return of the King, there were so many plot points they could have done differently, like why didn't they explain the eagle part, they would have gotten rid of so much criticism off their back after it was released, and like just thinking so quickly i was so uncomfortable sweating shaking uh you feel jittery and uncomfortable like like paste like around my whole apartment complex for 40 minutes just i couldn't stop moving or i'd start to be like uh like that awful movie where they have to keep their rpm or their heart beats per minute a certain

amount i get this uncomfortable feeling in my stomach and chest, like an uneasiness, like an uncomfortability with sitting still and not doing it. It's like, I should be walking around and doing stuff right now. You get like a crack head. But with Adderall, it's like you said, you're more like a laser that's focused on things and getting pleasure out of completing tasks. But with caffeine, it's a whole different animal.

Adderall gives you pleasure from you have a list of everything you want to get done and just drawing a line through a thing on that list. When you're on Adderall, you're like, oh, yeah, got that done. And then you move on to the next one. You're actively excited to finish stuff. Not with yellow jacket energy pills. Don't take those. You have a feeling feeling of dread like what have i done but there were i guess there are guys like this in every high school that they're like i don't know maybe their home life is bad or whatever

but they're like looking for some way to get high actively all the time and you know when they're 14 when they're 15 16 years old but But because we were like a rural high school, there wasn't a big access to drugs, especially not any hard drugs. Like I never heard of anybody using anything other than marijuana ever in my high school. Like there was no cocaine or like amphetamines or anything like that ever that I heard of. But I remember these guys would huff gasoline. I saw them do it. Like in the metals class, we had a generator, like a gasoline, you know, you pull start generator.

And they'd be in there, they'd take the cap off, and they'd go and they'd be huffing the gas out of the thing right there. Yeah, yeah, gasoline. Terrible for you. Yeah. They'd huff gasoline. They'd huff paint thinner. And what else?

What was the other thing that they were doing? I know in my high school, like, so my high school had every drug, unlike yours. Like, I don't know, LSD, acids. I'm not even sure. They might be the same thing. Same thing, yeah. Of course, pot, but cocaine, mushrooms, all kinds of stuff. But some of the guys, in an effort, I guess, to save money or even make a buck,

would work at the grocery store. And Cool Whip comes in a tub, right? Ready Whip, I think. Oh, Whip It's. Whip It's. Oh, my God. They would just whip it. Every fucking Ready Whip that came through supermarket they would they would all take a

pop on it and they would just whip it like all day all night so wait are they are they purchasing whippets or are they going are they working at the grocery store going into the dairy aisle and be like let's put this back now yeah yeah that's, that. The latter one. Before it made its way onto the shelf, they would take a huff. So you get home to make your nice ice cream sundae and you're like... And it's like fluid. It's got a little pothead breath on it.

And I don't think they would totally empty it, although I guess they broke the seal. I don't know what the scoop is, but they would just huff from every ready whip that went through the supermarket. Have ever seen someone do that like in person yeah the whippets it's ah it's it feels so much seedier than it should feel seeing a guy stand there with like ready whip in his hand yeah it's like this this isn't what they meant for you to do like this this has to be awful for you like been like yeah let's do some

whippets guys but you know i've been making ice cream sunday and been like oh wow oh god and for like eight or ten seconds you're just really light-headed and fucked up and i'm just like i don't like this like i just want the ice cream i don't know how dangerous it is but it's really short-lived yeah it's like 10 seconds. Yeah. Yeah. I saw there was a Stern thing where they were at some festival, and they go around interviewing the weird people that go to this festival or whatever. And there's a guy walking around with, I guess it's nitrous oxide.

I think I got that right. And he's got a tank of it, like an oxygen tank size. You know, like if you're in a wheelchair, you've got an oxygen tank. You walk around. You get the dentist, yeah. About yay big. He's got one of those. he's walking around like and he's the party man he's got a little mask attached to that thing and it's a buck a hit and you got to think like there must be hundreds and hundreds of hits inside of this thing and he's killing it he's out there everybody's just

you know and you do a hit and it's not like you're done for the day you're like yeah give me another one here take a five just open it up open it up yeah i saw a guy he was at a steve miller concert exact same setup like uh i don't know like it was probably like held mig welding gases or something normally but argon in there yeah but it was all filled with nitrous oxide and uh his you know because i'm a little old school he was selling it out of a um a volkswagen bus right oh that's very fitting right so for two pennies and it was like like kyle said i i forget what he was selling it for but it was like five hits for five bucks or you know 12 hits for 10 or something like that. And people were just, yeah. Oh, he was selling balloons too. That was a thing you could buy.

And I think that I'm sounding like I'm some sort of whippets expert, but I just watch movies and I'm familiar with pop culture. I think there's like a nozzle thing you get that attaches to the balloon, and now you've just got it there, and you can have a valve so you're not just pinching a balloon and walking around like a weirdo you've actually got an apparatus and there's some paraphernalia that helps with that but I you know that's

like I said make an ice cream sundae I've hit that thing before and been like ah this isn't for me I think it's real dangerous I don't think so at all but to me I bet abusing it is I'm not don't but I think like having a little before your ice cream sundae probably can't do anything. But it felt to me like the head rush you get from standing up too quickly.

If my blood sugar is too low, maybe you stand up too quickly. Everything gets a little dim for a second. You get a head rush. It felt like that to me, and that's not pleasant. I think there's that small chance. I don't know of anyone that died from pot, but I think that there's that, like, oh, yeah, 1% of the people get instant brain aneurysms,

and it's horribly, acutely bad for some small group of people. Shit. If that's true, I wish I'd known that. Never do that again. Don't anesthesiologists, like, they go to school to use that and, like, learn all about it, and then meanwhile it's just long-haired sherry? You know, take a balloon, man.

I'm addicted to a substance that I have to do three times a minute to stay buzzed. Trust me. If it's allowed to apply it, it can't be that big of a deal, right? They're doctors. They're not doctors. It's the old Seinfeld joke. What do you call a doctor that flunks out of medical school?

A dentist. They're not good doctors. You probably should make some money. Don't get me wrong, but they're not doctors, per se. I don't know. I think your average oncologist is just many tiers above your average. Yeah.

If you're on a stranded island and you're like, is there a doctor here? Nobody's like, oh, thank God, a dentist. Does he have a cavity? No, it's a gunshot. Well, I'm – no, no. Oncologist is the one you picked. I feel like the oncologist just executes a plan on a very well-traveled road. I guess.

Yeah, neurosurgeon or even like a – what is a bone doctor called? Osteosurgeon. I feel like some of the oncologists are also surgeons though, and you're like consulting with the guy who's going to do the surgery. I was thinking of that sort of scenario, I guess. I don't know much about that thing though like luckily for me i've never had to go down that road i can't believe that your high school they only had pot that's an unbelievable thing maybe i was just in the dark right like like but i i just remember like you know i would hear

of like the seedy stuff that maybe would go on like i remember there was one girl that was into like getting gang banged and like that was a thing that happened you'd hear that like oh yeah she fucked all those guys and they made a video and be like where can i get the video and it's like we don't have the internet at this point so it's like i don't know if it was true but i would hear about that kind of stuff in my high school too like like like in social groups higher than mine you know like like yeah these four really hot guys and these four really hot girls all like orgied and and would do it on the regular and it's like dude he's fucked her her her and her that is the who's who of this high school and you know i don't know what's true or not but that was the kind of now who's got a game of Thrones room.

Did we talk about my video? I think we talked about it before the show. Woody made his house tour video. It's finally up. It's sponsored by yellow tech or something like that. The people that do these boom mics, very cool mics. I like seeing it from the, you know, it's one of those things where it's always cool

You're so used to this viewpoint You know that viewpoint of like you framed with the it's cool to turn around 180 degrees and see what you're seeing all the time It's uh I like that a lot. I like seeing your setup very cool awesome video I should check that out if you're I had really positive reception, which I was super happy about. Because, well, for a year, I feel like we've been hyping it, right? And this is certainly not a negative towards you in the slightest. I never thought anything bad. But you call it my manor, my compound, my palatial estate.

And I'm like, expectations are really high. But... I was wondering if you were at all worried that there was going to be some hate that like like you know just just people like you know making fun of how nice it is were you it's weird that you even have to consider that like were you more afraid that people were gonna like give you shit because of how nice it is or that people were gonna give you shit but by saying like yeah it was all right like the ladder was on my head i was afraid they were going to be like oh kyle made it seem like it'd be a palatial estate elevator right yeah right your cars don't have elevators for fucking

runway at bro like get there i like the helicopter pad but there's no runway well at least not for my plane yeah i came in the other way. I thought Kyle was being a little hyperbolic, like, just being like, oh, it's so crazy. And then I saw it, and I was like, wow, so this really is a crazy nice house. Yeah, it's very nice. You walk into that kind of house, and you're like, fuck.

I should have made a Minecraft server. He started with a very nice place, and then he made it what he wanted it to be. He kind of made it, he took it up at least another tier above what it was before. Very nice. Like everything down to the vents and the air conditioning vents in that house. Thank you.

You need heated floors, though. That's the only thing. Heated floors? You know, I don't like them. We had them growing up. In the bathroom? Have you? come on that would be great in the bathroom tile yeah it's i love that i can see where you're coming from in the bathroom my reality in heated floors we had them in ocean city when i was growing up and um the floor below it got way too much impact from the heat it almost makes me think you know mur, Mirka was telling us about the car wash shower

he had where it was like, you know, it's nice. Don't let me tell you that it's awful, but it might not be the dream that you're thinking of. It's too much. I remember, so I lived on the, it depends on how you counted the floors, but I lived on like the fourth floor. And my father who was below me wouldn't let me keep it at what i thought was a comfortable temperature because it just melted him so i would only want the heated floor if like you could pull pranks with it like a friend goes into your your bathroom and you have no like mats on the ground where you get off the shower it's just the tile and you just crank it up to like 200 degrees and sit there thinking of shit, just patting his feet up and down.

Oh, hey, hey, what's going on? The floor is lava. The floor is lava. The floor is lava. Going from couch to couch. It's really nice because early in the morning, sometimes the floor is cold, but I've stayed at some places where you've got a heated tile floor,

and it's so nice when that floor is like warm i don't know how else to put it like it's it's really nice here's the nice part in my experience anyway it wasn't that the floor was so amazing to walk on it was warm but like that wasn't the big thing for me it was that like you know if you wanted to you could leave like your winter coat on the floor or if you wore your pants from yesterday everything but my t-shirt always seemed to feel like it was fresh out of the dryer you know and you just put that on and that was really nice that's a that's a good use cook eggs on your bathroom floor if it's fucking cold like like if it's really cold outside i'll throw in the it was really cold i'll put my clothes all in the dryer and get those things right out of the dryer and turn myself in a little little superheated man before i go outside i always like that yeah um but yeah the house

tour went really well and everyone was really positive about it and no one seemed to be disappointed by it uh and so yeah i was just i was lived up did you see that the fea is going to require everyone to register their drones if they weigh more than 0.49 pounds uh and you have to do it like by february 18th or something or another something like that i did see that that is an interesting development it was funny not only did you have to do it by you know i thought it was january but i could be wrong i'm not good at remembering things like that could be too but um it was like you had till january 16th to get it done but you can't do it yet and this was like three days ago i saw it like you know so what is

it december 16th 17th now uh like december 12th was too soon but it had to be done in a month and i was like huh that seems yeah i'm fairly sure it's it's february but but it had to be done in a month. I'm fairly sure it's February, but I got like 10 fucking drones to register. I hope it's not a lengthy process with punching in like 12 digit codes and fucking Are they heavy?

They're more than a half a pound. I don't want you owning drones. All mine are over half a pound. And I have to, I'm going to film with them at the end of this month. So maybe it doesn't matter. You're right. It is half a pound. In my head, it was four and a half pounds,

and it's January 20th. How big is a half-pound drone? That's like all of them, virtually. Everything is micro drones. The pair drones are that. The DGIs are more than that. like i can't that's like all of them virtually everything there's micro drones like the pair drones are that the dgi's are more than that all the the majority of the drone market is is more than half a pound if it doesn't charge up by plugging into your cell phone you probably have to register it yeah and so it's actually 0.55 pounds or 250 grams okay and it's january 20th and i see now that it looks like you can start registering

december 21st according to this article what's the rationale for it they feel that drone operators are aviators in a sense and they should uh have some way of they should be registered and they should have some uh accountability there i suppose And I think it might be some sort of, I don't know. There's been a lot of things done with drones over the last year or two. The technology keeps advancing, and people are making weapons platforms out of them and stuff. Check this out. Let me jump in. So the registration is only $5, so that's not a real showstopper.

Civil fines, $27,000 range. is only five bucks so that's not a real showstopper civil fines twenty seven thousand dollar range criminal fines two hundred and fifty thousand and up to three years in prison like this is not something that you should gleefully ignore that's an action it's a little quote from the article i'm reading so jesus christ register your stuff yeah i was talking to Eric about this he's got a DJI and we were using it to film the other day and things amazing like he flew that thing right in front of the fence just before I was coming through it and I could

I saw as I'm barreling toward the fence I see the drone go behind and I'm like I hope I don't hit that fucking thing and the shot is amazing I missed that drone by a foot and a half going 40 but it's a great shot they're able to get shots like that and go up really high and do cool stuff but i guess a lot of people have abused the privilege and done stuff they shouldn't do with it they've gone places and

filmed stuff they're not supposed to film gone on private property government property uh you know filming ladies in their bathrooms i'm sure i wonder if there's you know i've never looked for it believe it or not but i wonder if there's a whole porn subcategory of like drone uh like sneakery i need to look into that there probably is but they're loud i feel like if you really want to do the voyeur thing you can't have this fucking drone with four propellers yeah yeah the dji is definitely too loud for that. Unless it had some sort of super zoom lens on it or something. If you had some zoom, you could go up 1,500 feet and do your thing. Or maybe looking in a window.

I think of that. Maybe someone's in a window and you're hovering in the bushes checking them out. Maybe if they're in a shower. They've got their own audio issues. And hell, if they catch you just like me and just leave yeah um my we have a like we have a family friend i mentioned them before like we're i like the dad jackie likes the mom the kids get along um he's into drones like really into drones and he builds them himself he's almost like it's almost like the pc thing like you have a computer but i you know i like to choose all my own components and stuff and he's into competitive drone flying and stuff like

that uh i'm sure he could put together he drives he doesn't watch the drone he typically has a camera for taking footage and then another camera for uh navigation and then that's how he does it yeah that's what er does too. He kind of sits in his truck over there and, and, you know, he's, he's on, it's got the iPad on there and he's flying around and doing his thing. It's really, it's been really cool for getting B-roll. So for example, we, we got this, this mannequin covered in spray paint and propane bottles and I shoot them full of incendiary ammunition. So he explodes, bursts into flames. And of course I don't hit every single one of the paint cans

that are littered inside of his clothing and tied to him. So some of them are cooking off. They're burning in the fire and then slowly exploding. Well, he can put that drone right over it and be like eight feet away from an explosion that you'd never want to be near. And he's got them right in the flames. He's not worried about the drone?

It's $1,000. It's only $1,000? Yeah. I worry about things like that. Yeah, but that's way cheaper than I thought a drone like that would be. Not for production costs. I mean, if it goes down, it goes down. Let's get another one.

I mean, that's what it's made for. That thing can take a licking, too. I've seen that thing go upside down and fall on its rotors, I guess, and just grind those rotors into the asphalt upside down making the most awful grinding noises and he just casually walks over there grabs it flips it upside down throws the rotors away puts four more on there he's like pennies pennies and just sends it back again uh yeah i think you told me he bought like a hundred spare rotors yeah bought a bunch of them now he just doesn't have to worry about rotors yeah yeah he um he's he's loving his uh i plan on getting one i i've i've enjoyed watching him play with his and i've flown like his because

you have drones oh my bunch of the small ones right yeah i've got some paratrones um they're real good real good yeah i i want to i want a dgi drone because they're uh they're definitely gonna be better for filming um the the kind of stuff that i'd like to do and they have some capabilities that the the parrot doesn't necessarily have we're gonna use some parrot drones for targets um the it seems like a lot of the better drones don't have a feature that i'm like the follow me feature. And I'm particularly interested in that, you know, like, I don't want, if I'm starring in it, I don't want Jackie being the drone operator who knows what she'll film.

Like won't be me. Here's the grass 30 feet away. Or I just, I don't look at power lines. Yeah. I just don't see like handing off the remote to someone who's not passionate about it being any good at it. So, you know, but I could see like a follow me type thing going and, uh, where I am and that's, that's not a lot of trees on my property and like it would really work. But, uh, it seems like a lot of the best ones don't have that and I'm waiting for it. Maybe there's some sort of, you know, maybe something you could do to the software of the DJI or something like that,

one of the more readily available drones that just, you know. Like there's an upgrade or something? Yeah, give it that ability, you would think. I don't know much about that stuff. It needs to come with like, it has like a watch or something that it zeroes in on. So there's a hardware part to it. What I like about that thing is it's fast. It's not like that racing drone you described. I've seen those competitions and they're incredible.

It reminds me of Quidditch from Harry Potter. It's just crazy. And it's a similar sort of arena. It must pull like 10 G's and those direction changes and stuff incredible direction change is just just like something you would think a spaceship would do like it's a ufo uh so it's not like that per se but as far as like if we were in texas and there's a mountain over there and there's a big white spot on the mountain that we're shooting at with a 50 cal and it's like huh i wonder what our impacts look like. And he's like, and this thing flies over there

in maybe 40 seconds. The thing was like a thousand yards away. And all of a sudden we're looking at the iPad like, oh yeah, there our bullet holes are. And then it just flies back looking at zebras on the way. Pretty cool. I like the freedom of going

and exploring around from the air like that. But definitely going to have some responsibilities to come along with that pretty soon, so you've got to register your drones if you've got them. New topic? Yeah. Alright. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe someday I'll do the joke thing again. I actually got a lot of private messages about how people who did like

it. I got positive feedback. I saw people who were like, oh, Taylor and Kyle really hated it, but I think it should keep going. And it's like, I think that's the reason they liked it is because we hated it. I don't think it should be in every time. See, now I looked at it differently. I thought they liked it in spite of your guidance towards hated it.

Like, that was my impression of it. Like, if you guys both say this is stupid, then I think a lot of people might be more inclined to think it's stupid. I definitely don't think it's an every week thing. It's a special occasion thing. I think that... It's a special occasion thing. Yeah, yeah. All right. So I've been looking through this list of AMA questions.

I like the first one. These are from Patreon. So you have to look at the list, but there's a Patreon level where you can ask us questions and we answer them. This one caught my attention. So I got laid finally, but I'm not sure where to go from here.

I'm a 20-year-old male, and my 18-year-old girlfriend had sex a couple weeks ago. We've been together for three weeks. We took each other's virginity, but I'm not physically attracted to her at all. She's 5'5", and probably pushing 200 pounds. I'm in pretty good shape. 6'1", 175 pounds.

I work out six days a week, and I eat clean. My problem is that I like her, just not physically. Should I break up with her, or see if I can get her to lose the weight? How much does she weigh again? 5'5", pushing 200. I see. I wanted to read along with you, but I'm having a hard time finding it, so I didn't pay very good attention.

It's on the's on page two. Thank you. 5'5", 200. Aw. They banged already. I think that before anything, he should go for it, see if he can make her lifestyle better. Really?

I think that's a waste of time. And then, oh, are they both in college? 5'5", 200. That's my assumption. He's 20. She's 18. I do not see an 18-year-old girl who's maybe 70 pounds overweight, like, just trending towards. And the other thing is, if he was like, I'm no superstar, but she's too heavy, then that might be one thing.

But this is such a mismatch. He's 6'1", 175. He workouts six days a week, and he eats clean. Dude. That's true. She should be thankful that she got the fucking. Exactly. All right, I give a thumbs down.

You got to go find us. Yeah, thumbs down. And you're at that age where you're just going to be wasting time. You shouldn't have fucked her, though, because're now this is gonna be pretty hard on her oh yeah it's gonna be not fun to deal with yeah is it or it has she just achieved something you know like like no what if what if it was you and uh i don't know, who's super hot, a prime Angelina Jolie swoops in, takes your virginity. That's not the case. For that to be her mental process, she has to think of herself as a real ghoul. She has to be really thinking of herself.

And it's totally different. Totally different. Yeah, it's totally different. She's not thinking, oh, I got so – and she's a girl, not a guy. She's not thinking, oh, I got so lucky I fucked a normal height-weight proportional individual. He works out six days a week and eats clean. He might have abs.

Like, he... Okay, but still, like, no. This is gonna hurt her feelings a ton. She's thinking there's more here. Imagine how mismatched that sex was. Just one nice body, and then one just ghoulish orb. Like, his abs were like the cheese grater to her wheel of Gouda.

It's like that porn where there's this hot 18-year-old girl and some 57-year-old droopy guy. That guy's all confident, yeah yeah where's this coming from I graduated high school in 1974 so I give a thumbs down I say no move on unless you think but he just

said he's not attracted to her and that's a key component you gotta be attracted to her he's happy that he got the monkey off his back and now he's not attracted to her. And that's a key component. You've got to be attracted to her. She's nice. I think that he's happy that he got the monkey off his back, and now he's seeing things a lot more clearly. He's like, I didn't have to stoop this low to get this. And now that I have, I realize that I'm in a different league. So I think, yeah, thumbs down.

Woody? Yeah, I feel cruel. I'm normally the guy who wouldn't give the thumbs down to Woody? Yeah, I feel cruel. I'm normally the guy who wouldn't give the thumbs down to a situation like this. But it's going down. I just feel like there's a mismatch here. And by the way, if you don't look for someone, there's a power imbalance in this relationship. Where you're not really interested in her. And she, I presume, is very interested in keeping this alive with you.

And that's not a healthy thing anyway. Unless her family has money, and then you ride that gravy train. But yeah, that power imbalance that's happening in here is not healthy for the relationship. You both need to feel happy and fortunate that you have each other. Riding the gravy train. Ah, I was slow. I was slow. Thank you so much.

I like this one. What's the first one there? But it's a round table. Most creative way to fuck with someone's food if you work as a waiter and a customer was being rude. All right, so obviously you can pee in their stuff. You can put some bodily fluids in there or something like that.

Not creative. It's not creative, though, right? You're going to want to bring your own biological weapon to the table. That's what I'm talking about. Biological? Yes. Remember I told the story about my teacher got that disease or whatever when we did that science experiment in the sixth grade.

I think it was the sixth grade. Miss Farmer. Sixth grade? First year of middle school. Yeah, sixth grade. That's what it was. Had these plastic bags full of gelatin, you know, like they make jello out of. But it doesn't have the additive that's the coloring and the sugar and the flavoring and all that. It's just the gelatin. And then into that, we took a piece of gelatin and then into that we took a piece of yarn and exposed it to an environment so you know maybe the bottom of a shoe or uh the top of a cat uh a cat's head you know whatever everybody had lame ones but my dad's got this poultry house so i took it in there where the floor is just writhing with shit and i i got it all in there this thing is covered with a thousand kinds of viruses and bacteria god knows what's on it and mine turned green violently green and it had it was like strings of material in there i grew something

awful and she got exposed to it and she got sick and she was out of school for weeks you know it's hard for me to remember exactly how many weeks but but it was a major thing. It was like... You started the bird flu in fourth grade. We couldn't even get a... She was gone so long that a standard substitute wouldn't cut it. They had to get a temporary teacher in there. That's how sick she was.

I say you grow your own biological weapon, and you have it in a vial, and you're just ready for that douchebag who who lat who like you know goes gets her son like see that son you know what you call that a high school graduate a high school graduate you want to be like him you want to be like him supersize that for me my good man and like like makes an example out of you for his fucking kid like does something awful to you like that that's when you get a little bit of a uncle Kyle's food additive drops in there so that douchebag McSteve

over there spends the next six weeks in like some sort of like tented room with like intense fever and they thought he's got the hanta virus or something like that but if the customers being rude then perhaps it's sort of known that something's wrong. And as an apology, you could give them a dessert. That dessert could have X-lax. It's a chocolate diuretic. And they'll be on the toilet. But you've got to get into it then.

You've got to get with the chef on this one. And that's not creative. And a lot of those desserts. I just felt like it was effective and it would do the trick. You could really get a diuretic in someone's system with that. You know, eye drops apparently... Oh, give you diarrhea. Yeah, they'll make you violently ill.

Just a few... It doesn't take much visine to make you very sick, I'm told. I've heard it for years and years. I've never had it done to me, but it's a thing apparently. Eye drops make you real sick, make you shit yourself maybe. and years I've never had it done to me but it's a thing apparently you know eyedrops or I'd make it real sick make you shit yourself maybe and you would never taste it right because it tastes like saline just say what's in there that makes it sick I you know I always thought it was like an urban legend or

something like oh yeah I'm gonna put some eye drops in his drink and I was like what you're not growing your own biological weapons at home pussy yeah I never have a string covered in gelatin with the avian bird flu on it? You know how many bags of evil I've got hanging in my basement? Each one with a timer. Just in case something would happen to me at school.

I imagine putting a firecracker in the middle so it blows the disease everywhere and make yourself a dirty bomb. That's nasty stuff it really was i just remember like the cleanup and then with the masks on like being being like we'll never do this again like this was a big mistake like you can rub like uh one of those carolina reapers all over their silverware before they eat one of of those really hot peppers, huh?

Yeah. That is? What did you say Visine does to people? Like gastrointestinal distress. Like... Okay. Vomiting or pooping. I looked it up. It is false.

Visine does not make you poop. Okay. Visine is poison. Poison. It'll lower your body temperature to dangerous levels. It'll make your body temperature to dangerous levels. It'll make breathing difficult or even halt it entirely. It blurs vision, causes nausea and vomiting, elevating and then dropping blood pressure,

causing seizures and tremors, and sending an ingester into a coma. I don't even know what that is. That's nothing compared to what I grew last week. That's a great rank. If swallowed, you need to contact a poison control center immediately. Visine is not a silly thing. And then it has a list. Like 1995, 2001, 2003, 2006, again in 2006, 2009, again in 2009, 2012, 2013.

There's all these documented cases of like... Death? all these documented cases of like death but like teachers getting ill going to the hospital mechanics dropping yeah he put it putting eye drops in his girlfriend's drink after an argument with her and then she like get it's legit poisoning like like you could be using borax i've seen that done to people i've seen it it done. And like, hey, so all right. You probably haven't done a good amount. I don't want to argue with the internet or anything, but like what I always heard was use a couple of drops, right?

Like a few drops is enough to make them sick. So maybe drinking a whole bottle of Visine could perhaps kill you or send you to the ER, but maybe a couple. And I'm not – don't give anybody Visine if you're out there listening to this. Really don't. Like, because I'm reading about this, and it appeared, like, here's a guy who used a couple of drops, like you said. And then Gentilesi experienced vomiting and bleeding from his rectum. Eventually they agreed to a plea bargain.

He had to pay. It's just a social experiment. He had to pay $10,000 in hospital bills, three years probation, and obey an order of protection. Like, this is... Apparently, putting Visine in people's stuff, like, is... You would think they would change the formula.

What's in there that makes you so sick? Because you put it in your goddamn eyeball, like... Yeah, I would... I just... You know, one drop, two drop, four drop, five. I don't care. It's Visine. I thought it was just saline

and maybe some sort of topical anesthetic, you know. I just would have assumed that something you put on your eyeballs wasn't so hazardous for you. To eat. You know what I'm always terrified of? And after I say, I got a piss so bad, I'm going to step away for a moment.

I've always been afraid of getting super glue mixed up with eye drops. Can you imagine a more awful thing than super gluing your eyelids shut? I can't. It wouldn't even be shut. It would be like a chemical burn on your cornea, your retina, whatever. And you'd probably go blind. cornea your retina whatever and you'd probably go blind i would i i that terrifies me so much that like i have my own visine like that i keep in a drawer and every time before i use it i will i will fucking like drip it into my hand and rub it because i have this fear that someone has come

in and tampered with my fucking eye drops and i can't just willy-nilly put it right into my fucking eyeball i'm like i care more about my my eyes and and and I can't just willy nilly put it right into my fucking eyeball. I care more about my eyes and everything than that. It's just like checking the shower curtain for intruders, you know? You go in the bathroom to pee and you're like... Yeah, another ridiculous thing that I don't do. Really, never.

I have a couple times... My dogs keep freaking out. They're like... How can there, how can there be no crims? Yeah, you just gotta go see what's up. Excuse me for a moment. I gotta, I've drank four cups of coffee this show so far.

Yeah, you've been powering through the coffee. You're gonna be up all night. I need it. I do a lot better with coffee. I can talk a lot faster. I can think a lot faster. I think I have a little better time if I drink a lot of coffee. Taylor, have you ever had a near-death experience? Oh, God. if i can even think of one it's going to be so petty and not important of like uh almost walking into street the street as a kid nothing that i was like i'm sure i did some stupid stuff as a kid where i

could have died and it just didn't happen, like something stupid. But nothing where I was cogent enough in my thought to realize, like, that could have been the end for you. I'll have to think, but I can't think of any. Do you have any good ones? Not really. Like, this class of question, you know, tell me something significant, is like, well, man, you got to understand, I'm on episode 261 here. Yeah, and you can only almost die a couple times before you lose that dice roll i like you know there was a thing where we went jet skiing the jet skis broke

we were getting sucked out into the ocean and we were rescued by a passing fisherman um but i feel like i've been over that story uh yeah you know then uh yeah stories are i won't say they're only good ones but yeah they're last the first time um kyle has a few that you can see on his channel but other than that the one where the refrigerator door flew by or no it was a a car door right yeah it was a car door apparently there was a refrigerator that cut his cameraman's leg and i think kyle considers that one to be the most like dangerous one but the car door was filmed so well and you just realize like i think it would it have killed him if it hit him right it would have oh yeah i think if it would have hit him at all that

had a good chance of killing him well i feel like if it hit his hip first or something like i don't know i just feel like something that heavy coming that fast is going to cause some serious internal bleeding even if it's hitting the hip and your like lower abdomen or something it it was seriously dangerous it was a really bad problem um so that's a thing uh yeah kyle's got a couple on his channel that are really sketchy i wish i had a good one you wish you'd almost died huh you know just just for this moment you know this is just so i can tell the story worth it i guess it's something to be thankful for but it's also something where it's like oh have i just not done anything that risky or daring yet like i'm i didn't want to go on the whitewater rafting trip i don't want to go on a motorcycle escapade up to alaska where i could maybe slip onto my sandai

like i haven't done anything that dangerous like i'm not going to go scuba diving or skydiving or i'd rather do scuba than skydiving. Skydiving is stupid. It's a stupid thing for stupid people. You don't belong up there. That's not it for me. I just feel like skydiving is, um, it's not boring. I think it'd be really fun to do.

But I think it's really boring to watch. I hate skydiving videos. They're the dumbest thing ever. It's just the same thing in every one of them. And they're all identical. And in every case you do fucking nothing. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Watch me. I'm sky laying. Yeah. See, it's like I'm laying on my belly, but in the air and then I'll pull this thing and gently float i'm sure it's very exhilarating to be in but to do it unless you literally go up to fucking space and there's some guy yeah and there's some question as to whether or not earth has gravitational pull at

that layer that then i'm not interested i don't give a fuck you're just falling even worse is when your friends put it on Facebook and it's not even them front flipping with their little wingsuit on doing stuff they're strapped into some older gentleman's papoose on his chest

where they're just on there like a child they're waving around and he's the one with the responsibility of pulling the strings you don't see little Joey's saying watch my mom jump me around right yeah the kangaroo no he's not contributing but not you know that face eric strapped to the dude's boots his chest falling down at 100 miles an hour i just i don't know it's not stupid but i could never see myself doing it because it would be such an an awful, awful way to die. It's a fun experience. I just feel like it's totally not shared.

I feel like in terms of a video experience, I'd rather see someone lean over the edge of a skyscraper. I feel like that's a shared thing, that you could see what they did. That might be spookier than just watching them sky lay. Yeah. Because if you haven't, everybody's looked over the edge of a building that's really tall like you can empathize with that and be like oh that's a risky feeling like those russian climbers who like climb up a crane yes yeah it's fucking

around like they got one hand up there and the other one's like doing whatever like russian sign they do and then taking pictures of it and like swapping hands in midair like it's just dangerous and awful but skydiving most people haven't done the guys who do maintenance on like antenna towers like it makes my hand sweaty just to see that that's somehow a better video than literally just jumping off the tower yeah you know it's it's awful it's because you know watching those videos of them like fixing it it's like they're's because, you know, watching those videos of them, like, fixing it, it's like they're doing everything they can to avoid falling off. There's nothing at stake for the skydiver up there.

His goal is to jump off. There's nothing to root against. Like, if you're looking for tragedy, like, maybe you luck out and, like, a gust of wind throws him back into the structure and kills him. But even that, isn't that entertaining? I mean, LiveLeak out there has way better stuff than that plus death videos here so if you had to choose another time period to live in excluding now and the future when would it be and why i'm going to go with the past oh i would uh you know this i hate these fucking questions you don't like this how far and i'm not i'm not i'm not directing that at you i'm just saying that it's so here

so here's the i have follow-up questions to that question it's like all right am i literally going to travel back and is it a one-way ticket and do i know everything i know now if all those things are true if all those things are true, then I'm going to last week and I'm using all of the information that I can garner about the global finance market to take whatever monies I have currently and double them every five minutes for the next two weeks until I've got hundreds of millions of dollars. I mean, little pieces of information. It wouldn't even take much to just become a millionaire real quick.

That's what they don't want you to do with this. I know, right? What they intend is you have to be born X year in the past. You don't retain any knowledge. You grow up in that time period. So what time period is most suited for the way that you're wired? Okay, so the best time period to be, I want to be 22 years old in, say, 1992, something like that.

1907. I want my early 20s to be spent in the 90s during the dot-com boom or something like that, right? You don't want to go back any farther than that because right now, today, best time in human history to live. I was 19 at that time period, so I'm coming pretty close. Yeah. Was that good? A good place. I feel like, do you feel like it was advantageous to have gone through your working years during the 90s, which was an incredible time for the United States?

Yeah, it was probably a pretty good one. For me in particular, because I was a computer science guy, right? And it was one thing that was cool, and I don't know if it'll ever happen again, but there was this power imbalance in that engineers ruled the world, right? They were cool, right? That's when nerds first became respected. If you were an engineer, it, I don't know, it was just in the same general class as doctor, dentist, lawyer, engineer. You know, they were just like educated, professionally successful people. And you know, I felt like my boss's boss valued me at least as highly as my boss. Because I was an engineer, you know.

I was the guy that made it actually happen. He was just the guy who kind of babysat us. And that was kind of cool, but that didn't last forever. Yeah, but the thing about this question is like, unless you're, like if I were a painter, like if I were an expressionist and that's what I did, like my passion was expressionist painting,

maybe I want to go back and hang out with Monet, right? Maybe there's some figure historically that i'd like to go meet because i have a passion in a certain area like like maybe churchill is my hero and maybe i can go back and go to school with churchill like there's going to be like situational uh time travel that would be cool for those reasons but for the most part if you just want to live in a time that's that's good for for people it's right now and yesterday is second best and the day before is third best that's that's just the case as far as i'm concerned there's another thing though like you said like if if what he were born into like a dairy farm where every day you woke up and you

had to do a thing and And you could be financially successful, but just every day started off with the mission of things that needed to be done and some satisfaction that could be gained from it. You would have loved that. If you had 30,000 head of dairy cattle and were running like Woodworth Milk and Dairy Company grossing $8 million a year, you'd love it. You'd love going to each of those farms and making sure the milk was getting milked right and that they were still playing Fergalicious for the cows

to keep them peppy. Do they do that? Yeah. Happy cows make better milk. Cows with names make better milk too. More of it. I didn't know that. I just feel like I could have been doing that in the 60s. You can do that now. Not too late, matter of fact. I feel like that's what you should do. If I could just be like, let's see something cool happen.

Bing! And like Magic Wand, you would just be like, fuck all this. And start your dairy empire right now. You'd be heading toward the dairy empire right now with your life. I feel like you'd love that because like, I, like I know guys who like thrive on that, that,

that they love the, that every, you know, every day they get up and they beat the day down and it's coming tomorrow and they're ready tomorrow and they love it. They, they've got, they know what they're doing and they're professional at it and they're all about being the best at what they do. And what they do is farming corn,

wheat, and soybeans, but still they go at it with a scientific approach, with a business plan, a business model. They're always trying to get an edge in the market. They're always trying to plant what's going to make the most money while at the same time keeping things like soil pH in mind. And every day they're working with their hands. These guys are roughnecks but at the same time it's very, very lucrative. I feel like I'd enjoy that. If there's an element to, to my current life, that's, I'm not well, like, I don't know, wired for it's that a lot of my success has to do with just making people like me, you know? And that's like, you're just less in control of that process than you would be of say, farming. You're like,

I don't know. I'll say a wrong thing or make a joke all of my jokes are over the past the edge but every once in a while they declare that one to be especially wrong and uh you know and that becomes a big issue what was it you said the other day i think you said like some comedian you said like adam sandler wasn't funny and then taylor was like you know he died today right right you're like oh my god he didn't really did he not again not again not another dead comedian you went like a little or you're just like he's never ever been funny not a time he's not funny at all he's never done anything funny fuck him and taylor was like you know he just died right yeah but he's like shit not again again you know he just killed

himself that's why and then what he's faced dropped of like oh what have no you're fucking just put that for like two seconds it was just a what have i done this time yeah start pkn like you know what i you know what i um what got brought up um the other day and we started talking about again because jeremy brought it up um was when we were looking at Wet Platinum as a lubricant sponsor. And we had that video pitch where we were going to do the gigantic slip and slide down the hill into the ramp and into a lake. And I just imagined the big barrel of Wet Platinum in a slow motion, it over, and it's soaking the slip and slide. And in the grand finale, of course, his wings of redemption stepping up there,

hands on his hips like Superman profile shot. He's got his big ass painted to his bare chest. He's just got some briefs on. You know the face he makes. He just... And just fucking jumps and takes the the face he makes. He just. And just fucking just jumps and takes the slip and slide with all 400 pounds. And just like a rocket sled on rails.

He fucking launches off that thing and big cannonball. I felt like it would be the best commercial ever for Wet Platinum. And, you know, we'd all get out there and have a good time. Kind of like a Devin Supertramp style video. But shorter and more silly and funny maybe even a parody of of darren devin almost what a whole barrel of what platinum is like when they work two grand i'm sorry what is it called when people work together it's not a co-op it's uh collaboration collaboration that's the word i was looking for maybe even a collab with devin or something and or something. My wife actually told me not to

do that. She said that if I were to work with a big lube sponsor like that it could have ramifications on the kids. I feel like it's more mainstream now. I feel like lube and I'm not... It's her call or whatever.

I just feel like lube to me seems really mainstream. On Hulu i get astro glide uh ads and they're tasteful you know it seems like a different tier from say sex toys or you know the auto blow or something like that i have a few tears down from that yeah not auto blow and we did that yeah i i just feel like the people who are out there who would be like, your dad did a lubricant commercial?

You know, for one thing, it's not like if we were doing double entendres and had sexy models around or something like that, and you were bare-chested in a bed, that's something off the rails, right? I'm not talking about that, but I feel like since... The talking about that but i feel like

i feel like since maybe i kind of feel like you're onto something there like you know like look there is an existence of certain things right like you know i did feminine feminine feminine hygiene products exist women's underwear and men's underwear exists it's a thing that is a reality that there are all kinds of things in adult life that that you know you just deal with like if we sold toilet paper you know is toilet paper so much different on the scale of public acceptance than lube yeah let's let's all just admit we all have assholes and uh and and we'll go things go smoother from here on out yeah but i i I felt like the fact that, like...

You got to dry it after the bidet, am I right, guys? Totally. Yeah, I'm using my bidet. I felt like the fact that we weren't using it for its intended purpose, that we were showing... Right. It's perfect to me.

Like, we're doing a fun sports activity using sex lube, but we're still showing off what it does and why it's great. You know, it's not drying out. It's staying incredibly slippery. And, you know, when they saw wings virtually breaking the sound barrier, they would know I could pounce a pussy with this all night long without drying out. This would be great. Which is actually the downside of wet. Now, we talked about this before. Yeah, that shit's good for 3,000 miles.

Oh, yeah. And it's going to take a while to get it off in the shower. I don't feel that way. I feel like a wet washcloth is plenty good for cleaning me up. I'm looking for other solvents. If I kept Dawn, it cuts the grease. So here's the thing. When I have oil from other solvents. Like if I kept Dawn, right, that cuts the grease. So here's the thing. When I have oil from working on a car.

I'm going to picture the oily duck on the front. Ooh, that paint did it burn. Oh, yeah. If you guys have ever had your hands really oily, like from working on, say, a gear oil in particular, it has a particular smell, and it's so thick and greasy that soap doesn't really take it off it's in the pores yeah it makes dirty bubbles but then afterwards you still have it on your hands but you know dawn cut takes grease away or cuts grease or

whatever it's like magic like yeah this dishwashing liquid really, really gets off like automotive grease. I got a little chemistry going on there. Yeah, so I'm wondering, like, what is the antidote for my slippery cock? Because, like... More sex. I think it, like, I'm trying to think how much sex would it take for wet platinum to stop being effective? And the answer I'm coming up with is like... More than one woman can bear.

20 to 26 hours of sex. It would be a lot of sex. I don't find this... Alright, so here's my personal experience with it. Yeah, definitely there's some residue left there, but it doesn't bother me. Yeah, yeah. It just doesn't bother me at all. It's not like someone is noticing the residue on my dick or anything.

It's not like it makes me uncomfortable or I can feel it. It's just like if I were to rub down there, I'd feel that it's still a little slippery. But a wet washcloth, especially a soapy one, it cuts that right away. Maybe I'm just not washing good enough. Because I, like, hours afterward, I'll feel like in the shower. I'm like, all right, no more feel, nothing. Get out a few hours later, like, you have an itch. And it's like, well, fuck, it returned. It's soaked into the pores, and now it's back.

Yeah. Like, you've got it on the floor in your shower, and you can, like, feel it under your feet being a little slippery. Yeah, I almost had a lawsuit. Yeah, it's just incredibly slippery it's it's my it's it's my lube of choice but i always felt like that was just the best video idea i wanted to do it so badly i had it all i had the storyboard or whatever in my head you know the image of wings i knew what angles i wanted uh you know just drone shots doing 360 flybys and stuff like that. I wanted the budget too.

It was going to be a bit expensive. It was going to cost several thousand dollars to do, but I just imagined building the ramp and finding the location and figuring out how to make a super slick slide. $50,000 for the video, two grand in profit. It's going to be awesome though. $48,000 of that would go to getting a barrel of that food

I think it was $10,000 or $12,000 is what we were thinking for budget or something like that plus the lube plus the lube of course we'll find a new fat friend yeah there's one with a sense of humor who's willing to like you know be a be an object of

devin super tramp had a guy um i think his name might have been matt i forget but um the video concept was this they were in like i'm gonna call it the grand canyon it probably wasn't but it looked like it and there was a river and these like tall vertical like I don't know walls of stone and there's this long inflatable thing and you people sit on the tail of it and you jump on the head of it and the people fly up in the air have you seen this yeah okay well they had a big man like a wing style guy and there's these women just flying everywhere sometimes in pairs you know like two girls sitting on the end he jumps on it and they're over and they're like

you know like this is incredible and he's like i've been training my whole life for this and and he they did like behind the scenes and stuff, and that guy was so likable. He's my favorite character I think I've ever seen in a Devin Supertramp video. Hmm. Yeah. Maybe I should watch Devin Supertramp. I remember that guy. You've told me about him before and pointed him out to me, I think.

Yeah. But yeah, I love that video concept, and I like the idea of making those kind of videos that are – you get a film crew, of course. I got no film talent, but I got an idea of making those kind of videos that are, you know, you get a film crew of course. I got no film talent but I got an idea for like what I want done and I'd love to see it made. I'd like to direct that a little bit I guess. Not that it's some

Broadway production sending Wings of Redemption down a lubricated slip and slide but I'd like to see it happen. Could he handle it? And action! Oh yeah! Really play it up for us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think you can handle it direct could he handle it? Yeah? Action oh yeah, all right really play it up for us. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah big you're the man Superman Yeah, yeah to the left to the left. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah now that's like the chest all right now zoom in We want to see the lube speckle and spray away when he strikes himself All right now go close up on the lips

I want to see those those pursed lips of Like, I love when he gets like real intense. He does a like Donald Trump purse lip thing. Uh, I love that when we did the bootcamp, that was so much fun. That was. You seem to have like bipolar thoughts about that. I do. I do. Oh, that was such a good time to, I couldn't fucking wait for that to be over.

It's both and it's both it's both at the same time so in one regard there were moments that were just funny and hilarious and i'm glad i got to experience them and i'll always remember them and the other there were times when it was really a drag and uh and you know i felt like he wasn't giving 100 and i felt like i was and i felt like it was I honestly felt like it was disrespectful to me because I felt like I was putting so much into this, and I'd taken a month of time out of what was kind of a busy time for me to do this thing because I'd said I would do it, and I wanted to do what I said.

And I felt like he was – like when he wouldn't stick to the diet, I felt really let down, and it kind of took the steam out of me for the whole thing. It kind of soured it for me. But the first two weeks, I had a blast. I really enjoyed it. It felt like we were both on the same page and we were having a great time. The little things that come along with having Wings of Redemption live with you were just worth doing. I'm glad I did it.

I probably wouldn't do it again, though. It was a big commitment. There was a lot to do on my end of things. Well, if you ever think of a skill that you're really good at that you want to train me in, I'll do a boot camp.

Or I could gain a lot of weight. I could speed eat. Oh, I like that. I bet I could gain 50 pounds in four months if I need be. Well, if you ever want to pull a white boy and just come crash with me for a month or two, you're more than welcome. We have a good time. He just shows up and lives there for 10 weeks. Yeah, he did a while back.

Yeah, he did. A white boy lived with me for like three months, I think. Like a whole summer. It was right when he started doing pretty well on YouTube. And he was still living in that really ghetto house in Milwaukee or whatever. And his car had been broken into. And they'd break his window to steal his fucking change. And steal the battery.

Steal the battery out of the car. Shit like that, you know. And Kitty was like, you know. Won't you get out of there come stay with us for a while it's real nice down here or whatever she sounds like and and and so like yeah and so like he spent the whole summer with me and you know we have a similar like night owl nocturnal sleep schedule so we'd be out you know chilling with each other until four in the morning every night and i had a good time with white boy i was sad to see him go i really was whenever because he met

kelly he kind of like got together with kelly at my house she also came and stayed with me for a while and they kind of got together while they were at my place and then a little hanky panky at kyle's house yeah yeah there totally was there totally was um i imagine that to be a house with hanky panky as its middle name. Oh, yeah. There was definitely, white boy definitely got laid at my house. But I remember, you know, whenever they left, they kind of left together. And it was like, oh, man, it's a shame to see white boy go. It's cool having him here.

It was like he's standing on the porch as he's leaving, just kind of like. No, I drove him to the airport, you know. What, in your eye a little bit, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jackie used to have a term for your house. It was like the house of ill repute or something like that. And I'm just like, yeah, I bet all sorts of things that she wouldn't like go down there. Yeah, you know, we have a good time.

We always have a good time. But I just remember, like remember it was cool having White. So here's one of the things that I think about. The difference between Wing staying with me for a month versus White Boy staying for a few months. White Boy was always looking for ways for us to collaborate and bouncing ideas off me, and I'd bounce ideas off him. And I don't know.

I'm in a couple of his videos. He did a killstreak video videos like he did like a kill streak video and fps russia was a kill streak and and and i helped him film all that stuff and and vice versa we worked together on a couple little things and and i felt like wings didn't take advantage of any of that like i was more than willing to like you know work with him and you know make little side videos that weren't us make working out you know if he wanted to do go-karts or if we wanted to like wings redemption Wings of Redemption rides a bull, like, we could have made all that stuff happen,

but he wasn't really into it. You feel like he was kind of a black hole of enthusiasm and ideas. I feel like he kind of squandered an opportunity, because, like, when, you know, we both know a little bit about video making, and we're both here together with very different styles and ways of going about things. Maybe we could have collaborated and made, like, a... Oh, let's fix our cameras. Yeah. maybe we could have collaborated and made like a oh let's fix our cameras yeah maybe we could have collaborated and done like a

like armed him to the teeth like wings of redemption like covered in guns or something like you know he's got a like not to be a dick about him he's a big guy so like you could cover his whole exterior with guns it would have been hilarious but you know i just didn't feel like he was into to like exploring anything like that i felt like white boy was always like hey we could do this thing we could do that thing i could be this you could be that what do you think about this what do you you know and i just didn't feel like wings was was into it that way but yeah i'm definitely glad i did it it was experience right like i I don't regret a lot of things that were painful and hurt and sucked at the time because it was

a life experience. And you're kind of like, oh yeah, I did that thing. You never done that? I've done that. And that's one of them. Is the camera coming back? Can you see me? Let's do the call again. Oh, I can't hear anything now. Alright, I'm going's do the call again that always oh i can't hear anything now all right i'm gonna do the call again oh did i not i did a video call

hi there's taylor Taylor? I can see you. Yeah. Kyle's having a hiccup. He said he couldn't hear us towards the very end. Oh. So I've got one.

It's kind of a woody question. We'll let you field it. Yeah. Is there any particular reason you use the S&P 500 over the total stock market index? I was talking to my dad about it, and he said he uses the total stock market index because there is more diversity. Love PKA, Woody Wednesday, keep up the great work. Well, your dad's not wrong.

The difference is the S&P 500 is more or less the 500 largest companies, whereas the total stock market index is like all of them. It's still proportionately loaded in there. So it has more small caps. I think historically, there's a little more volatility in the total stock market index and a little more performance in the total stock market index. But I like the S&P 500, one, because everyone seems to like choose it. And I guess it just sort of defaulted me to it but the other I like really big companies because I feel like they're more global whereas if you were to work with smaller companies then you're more American and uh you know I don't

know in terms of diversification you're like if you buy Coca-Cola for example it might be an American company but they're selling that stuff all over the planet. So to me, it's not really just an American investment. It's a global investment. So that's my thought process on that. I'm trying to call Kyle back. I'm not great at this.

Add people, FPS, add to call, try it again. There he is. What is his picture of? Buongiorno. Is that Shakespeare? That's Shakespeare with a gun, I think. Yay. All right.

We've gone through a number of those. You had Bill Burr for a while. You had Hitler. Macho man Randy Savage. Macho man Randy Savage. Yeah. You had Hitler for a few months, I think. I did. I did have Hitler. I got some complaints about that one. Some people don't

think the Fuhrer is funny. That's ridiculous. Whole life, start to finish, one big soundtrack. Laugh track. Here's one. It keeps burning in my head. Your hypothetical son is either going to be a habitual weed smoker

or a regular steroid user. Which would you prefer? Habitual weed because he's not going to hurt anybody. He's not going to be falling apart, crying, going into rages, and potentially doing actual damage to his heart, to his liver, to his joints. To people around him at bars. He gets a little irritable. He's not going to get in, to his joints. To people around him at bars. He gets a little irritable. He's not going to get in trouble with law enforcement.

You could say the guy with pot could get locked. Okay, but he's not... Unless he's some sort of drug kingpin, he's not going down for 10 years or anything. But, with the steroid thing, that's also an illegal drug. I'd rather have the pot, I think,

because at least I know he's not going to actually do bodily harm to himself. That's exactly my rationale. It's a tough one. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, that's all right. It's a tough one because what I'm doing in my head isn't fair. I'm saying, well, let's say habitual weed smoker. That also means non-achiever sometimes. You know, let's assume that habitual

weed smoker means that it somehow limits the potential that he would have otherwise. In the same regard, the habitual steroid user might mean guy who kills himself and his wife, because that happens on a regular basis. Right. That's the thing. And what I was going to say is that what I'm doing is kind of unfair because I'm not an expert. So don't take this as, you know, the PKA medical advice is terrible.

But I think that there are people who use steroids and they keep it in control. They have their doses low enough. They cycle on and off in a healthy way. And like, there are probably steroids that someone can do and it's not going to make

you look like an action figure, but it's going to make you the super version of you. Why in my head, am I comparing that guy to the guy who smokes weed six times a day and can't get the Cheetos off his fingers? We'll see now. Anything that you're applying, like it should be a guy who smokes weed

five times a day versus a guy who's really into pot versus a guy who's really into steroids both equally into their substance of choice. That guy who smokes pot is going to be way better off than the guy who's shooting up constantly. And I think what you did there is you automatically assumed that the guy

who smokes pot five times a day will be the Cheeto eating like. That's what I said I did. I let it off as like I'm doing something that's unfair. I'm making this steroid guy responsible and moderating and this and that. And I'm making the weed guy shaggy from Scooby Doo. Because we I mean, I guess you pick somebody like Seth Rogen. Maybe it's not fair because because of what he does.

But he's a writer and a producer. That's what he really does. And an actor with lines and everything. And that guy totally smokes five. He certainly knows how to balance his responsibilities. Yeah, and I feel like there are people like that with both the steroids and the marijuana because I totally know,

you know, there's, if everybody in baseball, you know, during that huge period of time was doing them, how many like breakdowns did we have? How many like crazy, like, I know in WW, in the professional wrestling scene, there was the wrestler, God, was it Brett that hit? I don't, I can't remember which one one but there was the guy who like from the steroids killed himself his wife and maybe another family member or something like that and it feels like that's a thing that happens sometimes sometimes thank you yeah that's that's yeah i feel like there's no good pothead out there who just murders his whole family i've

arrived at my answer uh if it's going to be like the responsible sort of controlled moderated whatever then steroids might make him the super him and that would be a better pick if it's going to be a guy who really goes overboard then the downsides of weed are so much less than the downsides of steroids yeah that you'd rather have you know the the real abuser be a pot abuser. And I would wager that a guy who's using steroids even responsibly every day, by the time he gets to be a 55-year-old regular steroid user, his body's going to have gone through some shit.

There's probably terminal velocity with the use of that where afterward it just gets to be just awful whereas with pot he could smoke that and like yeah he might not be as successful or something or maybe he gave into laziness some root in his life but he's not going to be like on death's door potentially from i feel like virtually anything in in moderation is okay and i mean that applies to heroin i i mean, honestly, if you think about it. Yeah, just good luck with moderation. Yeah, but I think that like, if you thought that maybe you could do heroin, I would never do heroin.

But if someone said, hey, if God comes down and says, hey, I guarantee, like, you're not gonna get any trouble for this. And don't worry, we're just gonna give you a little heroin. But it's gonna be a great time. You'll never want it again. Totally, I'd try the heroin. Come on, God.

You got a hose? You got the thing to wrap around my arm? If God tells me to do any drug, I'm going to do it. There you go. None of these drugs must be that lethal, right? Because people are using them for years and they get in trouble and they ruin their lives. But sometimes they tell you that this drug is like a battery

acid like the first time you do battery acid intravenously you die there you go yeah and they act like that's you know oh yeah it's just like heroin no heroin must be more like i don't know you know like the the drugs that a um an anesthesiologist gives you, right? They're not on the street. But I imagine they're terrible if you take them all the time. Like, have you guys had surgery? I don't know. Yeah.

Like, that's what killed Michael Jackson. He was regularly using that anesthetic. I can't remember. Yeah. He had this doctor applying an anesthetic that I think normally you would Yeah. He had this doctor applying a, an anesthetic that I think normally you would use to put somebody under to him regularly. And that, that's what killed him. There's, there's something that before surgery that the doctor gives you so that you're not scared anymore. Right. And, and I've, I've had a bunch of surgeries. I can't even name them all but i whatever oh 12 i don't know and i think i want to

no i was talking about me and um uh i like if you were to be like all right what do you got to get that acl fixed again one of the first things that would pop into my head is like oh yeah i before the surgery it's fucking awesome Like they give you something fantastic. And, you know, obviously I'm fine. You know, I have it in moderation, like 12 times a life. But I'm sure that it's awful if you overdo it. Yeah, I think our bodies are really good at dealing with things that aren't necessarily that great for us. Like I think anything in moderation is okay

um i don't think you're into long-term side effects and then like taylor said sorry to cut you off good luck in moderation right there are some things that just don't lend themselves to being it seems that way yeah and i feel like it's in your environment too because i feel like me or you woody could like seek out heroin and do it once and then go back to our normal lives and probably never go back to the heroin again because it's not readily available like we don't know we don't have a heroin hookup we don't know where to get some fucking smack like like but if you live in an environment doing it making yes you know that i could i should but if but if every day i get up take a shower go into wherever the fuck and there's bill and there's dave and they're both

you know join me yeah they're like hey man we're gonna go in the bathroom and shoot up you want to come they'd be like i don't know maybe a little like like come on man work's dead today let's do this like i'm just like better hope work is dead if you're about to that's what i thought as soon as i said it i was like what job are we doing heroin. In the break room every day at the DMV before they open. Honestly, selling cars. You could totally do that. If it's like a, let's say it's a Wednesday, and it's pouring rain outside, and it's cold,

you might as well shoot up. What was the video I did? Was it heroin or something else? Is that when it starts with an M? It's heroin. It was heroin? Yeah. There's methamphetamine.

That's like Breaking Bad. You know, that's speed. That's like the opposite of heroin. The video I did, it just sounded like the greatest drug in the world. Of course, until it turned south. But it was like, you know, it's 5 a.m., you're going to work,

you're caught in the rain, you're stuck in traffic, and you're happy. You're content. There's beauty in every raindrop on the windshield. It's like, oh, fuck. That's the reality I like. That sounds wonderful.

If I get to, like, 80, I'm just going to go balls to the wall crazy with all that. Just try everything. Just see what, like, by the time I'm 80, I'm going to be almost dead anyway. What's the reason not to just give it a go? Oh, no, you get addicted. You're going to be addicted for the last nine weeks of your life.

Yeah, if you're terminally ill, go get some, right? If you're terminally ill, you might be on a lot of cool shit already. Yeah. I don't know. It might be shit that's making you feel even worse, though. You got cancer and you're on chemo. My brother had chemo. And then there was a pain management team.

You know, it was like a group of six people would come in and they're pretty much like you high enough, bro. Like, how are you doing? And how are you feeling on this? Does that make you feel like that? We got some other shit. You can try this. Yeah. Pain management teams are your friend there's a

there's a particular drug that comes along with chemotherapy that's for uh anti-nausea and we've talked about before that it's like a miracle anti-nausea drug and my girlfriend has a prescription for those and it's so great any time at all or something yes i think that that's ringing a bell big time. Maybe that is. She's got some tramadol. But whatever it was, I just remember every time I get sick, and I hate being nauseous, dizzy-headed, you vomit and vomit and vomit to your coughing up foam, basically. I don't know if you've gotten to that level where it's just foam

that you're coughing up, like bile. And then you take one of these and it seems like 10 minutes and you're just like, oh, thank God. Oh, I feel like a normal person again. That's like the coolest drug invented in my lifetime. That's the one where you know it's working, right?

Right, yeah. I had a surgery when I was, I think it was my broken arm. So I was 17 and I come out of surgery. I'm nauseous. It's terrible. I'm vomiting in this thing. And I had another surgery at 15, same sort of deal.

At 19, they go in to remove the tumor that was growing because of the broken arm. And I tell them, this is the thing you're supposed to tell them. Like, look, this stuff makes me nauseous. So when I come out of surgery, like be prepared, you know, like have the thing, know that I might vomit on the damn tube or whatever. Cause I react badly to general anesthesia and they're like, all right, all right. But we got a plan this time. And, uh, I come out, I'm pale, I'm sweaty, I'm clammy.

The beads are coming out the forehead they put that shit in the IV and they're like how you now and I'm like like oh well actually actually yeah I didn't know you could do that and they're like yeah this is new and uh you know And now it goes out. I've had kids, Colin in particular, even Hope, both of them, at one point in their childhood got in this cycle where they were too sick to eat and drink and then didn't eat and drink

and it made them too sick and it was awful. And they're not even wanting a Popsicle or something. They give them this, take the popsicle. Now the kid's fine again because they've hydrated. And yeah, it's freaking magic. They've cured nausea. That's where they got you to eat popsicles. Because it's just water.

Oh, you didn't know that? I just was like, oh, it's cheap. We can give them to kids. Like, I didn't know. Yeah, no, they're getting you to drink. I'm a complete idiot. I never thought about that. Yeah.

I'm trying to think what other medications I've taken that I'm instantly like, whoa, that's some good shit. Definitely had some painkillers before from the dentist or from a broken bone here or there that were just very effective. Oh, my dad, that time I accidentally took all those painkillers when I was like 12 or whatever. My dad had these painkillers. I want to say they're called Ultrams. Ultrams? I don't know. Anyway, he had had a ruptured disc in his back and they had to go in and there was a surgery and they gave him these

Ultrams and they were supposed to, you know, alleviate the pain after surgery and he didn't like them. They made him really dizzy. Just one of them made him just really loopy and he didn't care for that a bit. So he, there was a whole bottle of them in there. So I've got a headache or something one night and I go into the medicine cabinet and get what I think are children's Motrins. Motrin is just like an over-the-counter pa cabinet and get what I think are children's Motrins. Motrin is just like an over-the-counter painkiller. And so like the children's version is like really low dosage and I was like going to have to take like six or something.

Instead, I took like five or six of these badass painkillers. So I wake up in the middle of the night and I can't feel my lower body from the waist down. Can you move it? I can move it, but I don't know I'm moving it. So I'm kind of stumbling and staggering. Like I still know how to walk but I'm getting no

sensory feedback to like know how much you know operate my knees and ankles. What's the word for that Taylor? Do you know? Synaptic feedback? What? To have that numbness and not be able to there's got to be a term for it i'm not familiar so i i get up and i and i i tell my dad i'm like i can't be a section that's the term i was looking for i'm like i can't feel my lower body i'm like whatever and i and'm throwing up. And I think it's at that point that they're asking me to eat anything or take anything.

And I tell them and we get the bottles out and realize what I've done. And they drove me to the ER and they didn't pump my stomach, but they gave me activated charcoal with chocolate milk, which makes you, it absorbs toxins and then makes you throw up. And I just remember they had that fake wood paneling in the little ER waiting room I was in, and I could see the devil's face in the knots in the wood. And I was like,

Daddy, I see the devil in the wall. And he was just like, It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay, Doctor. He sees the devil. Satan's in here! That would be awful at that age. Yeah, it was.

But that was for my eardrum bursting, and it was not fun. I just feel itchy. I don't get those pills, how people get addicted to it. Yeah, that's... It's just not pleasant. I didn't think it was pleasant at all.

I bet... You know what I bet would be a good pill to take is the stuff they give heroin addicts. I can't think it was pleasant at all. I bet, you know what I bet would be a good pill to take is the stuff they give heroin addicts. I can't remember. Methadone. Yeah, yeah. Methlamine was in my head from Breaking Bad. I'm like, it's really expensive.

They steal it from you sometimes. I just watched that episode where my girlfriend never seen Breaking Bad, so we're going through it. Just got through that episode. Billy Burr on the tracks? Yeah, man. Like, I wasn't as big of a Bill Burr fan the first time I watched Breaking Bad, but obviously I am now, and I've rewatched the whole series virtually. I'm, like, season five, episode nine currently, so getting there.

And Bill Burr's got, like like three or four good episodes for sure i really liked him as the sort of the uh the epa inspector guy that was really funny um but but every little every time i see him on there i'm like oh great bill burr's on there let's let's see if i'll pay really close attention see if he's got any jokes he snuck in there uh yeah he's like ah good thing you stopped it'd be of pancake city out here it's like just an awful joke that he would never say yeah yeah i was wondering that i was thinking i was like did he write any of this is i don't know i i was surprised to see him in there because it's like i don't see him doing any other acting stuff i'd like to know the genesis of him getting on

that show and uh and everything but i definitely enjoy him in that role you know that it wasn't his joke writing because if that were it like when it slowed to a stop he would have got out and be like ah fucking women am i right like just but you thought i was i did i was abroad in here yeah big surprise yeah that was uh that's a great episode like that that whole like heist they pulled off and everything and then he shoots the fucking... I'm not going to spoil fucking Breaking Bad. I don't know what I'm doing. Breaking Bad's great, though. If you've never seen Breaking Bad, it's top five shows of

the last five years on television, I'd say. It's a piece of television gold. So check that shit out on Netflix. Television.com slash Woody. Television's better than it's ever been before. Totally. I don't even think it's debatable. Yeah.

And I think we're missing out on a few good shows. Have you guys ever watched Justified? No. That's a good show. It's a pretty good show. I'm kind of waiting for Fargo to finish, and then I can binge watch it. Do you know how long it's going to be for season three?

No. 2017. Oh, so like Rick and Morty. Yeah, like Rick and Morty. Yep. That's going to suck. I want more Rick and Morty right now. I love that show.

Just finished up. Everybody kept being like, yeah, go to CartoonNetwork.com and watch it for free. It's like, I don't want to watch on a device. I just bought it on Amazon. It was $20 for the season, and I'll support Rick and Morty team. Like that's a fucking awesome cartoon. I saw Amazon has this thing about how they're like re-encoding their entire library to save bandwidth. It's Netflix, I thought.

Or is Amazon doing it as well? It's Netflix. I made a mistake. And I read it and like I was just trying to glean all the technical details from it. It's fucking shit like it was totally disappointing it was like if they had said hey we're going to H.265 or

V9 encoding and we're going to just give you better quality for the same bandwidth or same quality for less bandwidth I'd be like hey that's an actual improvement fantastic but instead what they said was well we feel like you can't tell the difference with certain shows and my little and they're wrong

my little pony's the one they kept mentioning right well but animation in particular like you can see it like like i was watching rick and morty the other night and the bandwidth dropped a little and i was like oh this looks like shit and then it picked right back up and i was like, ooh, this looks like shit. And then it picked right back up and I was like, whoa, that's a massive difference. When it does that with live action, it's like, eh, I wish I had a better picture. But with Rick and Morty, it seemed like I was going from an old school aspect ratio shit

to shit tier TV to like, oh, look at, because the animation, the details are drawn. It's an actual fucking line. So if that blurs a little bit then like that line doubles in size your resolution drops in half and and when it sharpened up it everything became so much more crisp and beautiful but yeah i read i read about that and i and i doubt i gleaned as much as you did but i could see that it was not a great thing right yeah they're

just and they're like we can go from scene to scene you know because like they kept pulling out as an extreme my little pony and an avengers fight scene an avengers fight scene has a lot of detail in it you know if you think about a crumbling building how many like articles if i were to take uh just a blue sky right not a real blue sky one that has lots of graduations and you know sunset or whatever but a cartoon blue sky, right? Not a real blue sky, one that has lots of graduations and sunset or whatever, but a cartoon blue sky, which might literally be like someone clicking the paint bucket fill

in the background. That compresses really, really well. If you're thinking about what compression is, it's sort of just describing the picture in a different way. And you could say, all right, yeah, whole fucking thing blue. Compress that down into a small bit of data and and that's that whereas a crumbling building something that's mid

fall there's so much to tell you like it doesn't compress very well at all what they do is they just take it in blocks and say all right these four are this so you lose resolution you lose detail in it but then it's you know it's easier to send anyway i'm just in my head i was like no like more efficient encoding i'm on your side shittier encoding because you can't tell on certain shows you lost me you lost me and you know you say we can't tell but when 4k rolls along then we'll be able to see more detail than we did before and you can tell i don't know i just i was so disappointed i thought that it was going to be something cool and it's something yeah anti-cool i felt the exact same way yeah i was like oh i bet we're

getting more for less now we're getting less for less okay oh that's that's not nice i don't want that i wonder if i can see Star Wars tomorrow morning. That'll make someone mad. I wonder if there's some 10 a.m. showing that's not filled up. Do you have a Fandango app? Yep. I have a Fandango website, I think. They're all going to be packed tomorrow.

Really? I bet. I'm just hoping kids are in school, adults are in work, that there's some 10 a.m. showing that I'm cool with. Not the Carmike 15. Not going there. I saw Creed there. Too many black people, right?

That's what you said. It's not what I said. It's what I that's what you said it's not what i said it's what i implied i don't use the word that you said no oh you don't use the word the people there talk during the film and the one woman practically held a comedy routine you know going back and forth with the screen yeah what do you use the j word i haven't heard that used i don't even know what j word might be well it's a silent j to be fair what could you even there's no way you really don't know the j word i really don't you taylor yes i know what you're talking about yeah yeah i know jango that's that it's a d word right yeah the d is silent oh i do know that word yeah

time family racism it's a shame racist uh race racial slurs are so uh uh out at this point there's such fun words if you take away the you know the cultural impact and impact and holding back a race of people and everything. The words themselves are fun. I like curse words, and I don't feel like I should have to be excluded from that whole branch of curse words. I can't say fucking cunt and cum slut faggot cock, but I can't say jigaboo, and I don't like that because it's a funny word. That's the J word.

You should be able to make people feel bad at every turn that makes you feel bad you didn't have much of a self-esteem to start with you'll work on yourself not worry about what i'm saying just mean-spirited to walk around and just say things like that to people for no reason it's fun words that's all i don't like run around calling people that name i just think i think it's just a fun they're they're fun fun words that's all i don't like run around calling people that name i just think i think it's just a fun they're they're fun words to like to to bandy about and uh and uh and pick apart and have fun with i like curse words they're good i saw there was a study that i guess you know they were sort of an old wives tale i suppose the people cursed a lot are less

intelligent than the rest of the population. I don't know what kind of study they did. What kind of methodology is that? Right? But they found that there was no correlation between lots of cursing and any lack of intelligence or anything like that. So when he's dropping F-bombs,

every other word isn't necessarily uh yeah here's a movie called the the regal north hills like movie and grill is it possible that it has like nice tables and i could eat nice food there it's not gonna have tables but all of these theaters are moving in this direction where like it'll have a big recliner seat oh that rotates in front of you tell me where you can be like oh I'll have a blue moon and I will have the chicken fingers or a burger and they just bring on mom bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb all of a sudden the lights come on Williams party of six of six. Your table is ready. William's party of six. What the fuck?

R2-D2 is on there. Beep, boop, beep, boop. Lights come on again. Who had the steak? Who had the beef wellington? Beef wellington. They're walking around with fajitas sizzling right past you. Oh, yeah.

No fajitas. That would be the worst food to get. That's just going overboard. So at the Mall of Georgia, at the IMAX place, they have basic food at the place. They got burgers and fries and chicken sandwiches and Cinnabon and all that stuff. So I don't feel like you need anything above that. I don't want to have an actual meal

while I'm at the movies because everybody else has silverware, right? Everybody else is knife and fork. Most of it is hand food, though. For this one, you'd have to be a real douche to be like, oh yeah, I'll have a steak well done with a ceramic plate and a

sharp knife. I'm imagining, I don't know, chicken parmesan, right? Like, that's a meal that I'm just making up that might be served at one of these places. I feel like that makes a lot of noise, and, like, the people are like, you know, it's a new thing, right? So people are like, yeah, it's really good. Yeah, you want a bite?

No, have a bite. Have a bite. No, no, no. No, it's not that hot. No, no. No, it's not. No, it's not spicy hot. No, no. No, it's not. No, it's not spicy. No.

Yeah, oregano. I think there's oregano in there. Is that a basil leaf? Shut the fuck up! That's how I felt at the car, Mike. And there were no food at all. Yeah, no food. Well, they brought their own.

There was a bucket of the colonels making its rounds, I'm sure. I'm sorry. It it was popeyes uh yeah no like the i won't ruin the movie creed but there's a scene in which uh they already did there's a fight scene and as you might guess the box is you know running through his you know highs and lows and they're just going back and forth, engaging in the dialogue. You better get up. You better do this. You better, you know, you look terrible, whatever, and it's just like,

everyone in the theater is laughing, except for me, who's like, secretly wishing he was in a fist fight with her. Yeah, and look, in modern society, there's nothing to be done for that scenario. I don't feel like. Yeah, no guns in the theater anymore. Because you might be dealing with a fucking idiot who will escalate things.

And it's like, do you really want to get in a fist fight? That's what I said last week when there was the couple who were being really loud. It's like, yeah, I could say something. But what's my end game if the dude stands up and wants to throw down here in the middle of this fucking Katniss Everdeen movie? Like, am I going to fist fight this dude right now? He a big dude can you go to jail for this yeah yeah am i going to jail tonight just to prove a point like i mean the movie was only 40 bucks like like like i bet bail's gonna be a little more and then you know and i might get my ass kicked right here too this is a big fucking dude it's just not gonna end well but i want to be like hey would you would you tell her to shut her cock holster would you just calm her the fuck down

i'd be like i i really just if if i'm god right like if i just do whatever the fuck i want nobody can say shit i want to just spit right in her mouth i want to wait until she like opens her big fucking mouth to say another word and i want to have a loogie saved up and I want to be like eyeballing her right and just waiting for her to open that big fucking yap of hers again and just spit a loogie right in her mouth and just slap the shit out of her and I want to piss

on him that's what I want because I want to pull a wings of redemption up there and piss on somebody you are god the most intelligent sentient being in the universe and you want to spit in her mouth I just want a slider a business card on somebody. You are God. The most intelligent, sentient being in the universe. And you want to spit in her mouth. I just want a slider, a business card that says shut your cock holster.

A meteor. Just pass it on. You know, like, shh. I want the lights to come up. I want the projectionist to, like, stop the movie. I want to, like, be like, I want the rest of the crowd to see what happens. No, a fortune cookie. You should hand them a fortune cookie, right? I want to like be like I want the rest of the crowd to see what happens I want

You should hand them a fortune cookie right They'll like excitedly open it And be like shut your cock holster Honey look at this And they'll all go through and observe the fortune I would rather hand them a flaming bag of shit I hate it It's so disrespectful and I feel like

In this like day and age It's like don't you realize like there's so much in pop culture making fun of the fact that that like black people talk during movies that if i'm a black person it's like dave chapelle said like not wanting to eat fried chicken in public it's like i don't want to uh to to live out to play out a stereotype in real life like if if that's me i don't want to be be a loud person in a movie if i'm black i don't want people looking at me like yeah told you it's true i'm in the minority though right because everyone else was laughing at her jokes and thinking it seemingly felt like it added

to the movie like their experience was better in the same way that we loved it um remember we went to the ufc fight in chicago people cheering. It was almost like going to a sports event. It was a sporting event. The fact that people were pulling for their different fighters and stuff, it added to the atmosphere that I enjoyed. I felt like, to these guys, her talking to the screen added to the atmosphere of this movie. I can't imagine a situation where i would appreciate someone speaking that loudly in a movie theater in the same regard as i hate it

when you're in a stand-up show and someone starts trying to add to the jokes it's like shut the fuck up you paid to be here he's getting paid to be here there's a reason that that that that that is is the case all right like you're an orthodontist he's a fucking comedian you shut the fuck up let him do his thing and at the movies like i paid to hear every word of that dialogue and to see every frame of that movie and if you see every one of them you steal from me is pissing me off another penny worth like like like whatever it is i paid 40 dollars for this for this two hours and every second of it has a monetary value, and I can't get it back.

I'm going to go watch two hours of this shit just to miss the scene that you ruined, you stupid bitch. I really hate it when people talk during movies. And then you're so angry. It goes, and she's like, and it's just like, are you insane? Like, are you a caricature of an annoying person?

Because you're perfect. I hate it. I hate it so much. I wish there was something to be done. It was like a social experiment to try and bait racists out there where they wouldn't show what she was actually doing. And then if you had got up and been like, you are, you're all like this, like yelled something, and then they would take that.

This destroys my pacemaker. Yeah. This is all that keeps throw it in the air. Yeah. Oh, that keeps me alive since the war. I am so sorry. Sometimes my breathing apparatus makes noise. I just try to live the way I can.

Yeah, something like that would happen. This just completely... Dude, there's a lot of showtimes open tomorrow at this place. Like, 5, 9, 10, 11, 12. There's 12 showtimes open. I want to see it. I want to see what J.J. Abrams has done with this thing. Because I've said it before, but I'll say it again

for those of you who may not hear. I don't think there's ever been a good Star Wars movie, period. I don'tams has done with this thing. I've said it before, but I'll say it again for those of you who may not hear. I don't think there's ever been a good Star Wars movie, period. I don't think any of them are good. None of them. None of the Star Wars movies that have been made are good movies. I think that it's an amazing story and a really great premise. The whole space

pirate thing, the characters themselves. Oh, Star Wars. Star Wars is what I'm talking about. I think you said it right. I just heard it wrong. But I'll tell you what. You go back and watch Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker facing off in those lightsaber battles and stuff, and it is lame as shit, especially when you know the mythology, the story behind those characters and what they're supposed to be capable of

and what their reflex is and their control of the force and all the abilities they have and their physical capabilities and all that. And it's just shit. It's shit tier. The best Star Wars content as of right now, excluding Episode 7, is the Clone Wars animated series that's on Netflix. That's amazing. It's great stuff. It's everything that I wanted from the Star Wars movies.

And it's like adult animation. I love it. But those Star Wars movies suck. Especially the episodes one, two, and three. Those are scum. And the originals that were made in the 70s, the first one is cheesy and really poorly made, if you ask me.

The second one is a decent movie and a lot of cool stuff happens. And I almost like it. The third one is a decent movie, and a lot of cool stuff happens, and I almost like it. The third one is shit. The third one is absolute shit tier. The whole idea of these fucking Imperial Troopers who are clones of Boba Fett, the most hard-ass motherfucker in the galaxy, supposedly, though, that's very debatable. The fact that those guys are getting taken out by those little munchkin motherfuckers is just... Teddy bears. Teddy bears.

It's like I could take out the entire species with an AR-15, and you just sent down a huge squadron of guys with those at-at-at things, those big walker things. There's like two walker things things like huge squads of these stormtroopers they got the hover bike things whatever those are called and they got communication radios like you know they're up in space looking down they got recon and somehow the teddy bear bears come in and whip their ass like it's it's it takes i talk about suspension they had knowledge of slingshots kyle oh they were cave people and

they weren't even cave people they were cave teddy bears i i really hate that it when you when you're playing to the the the children when your whole goal is is all about how can we sell a new toy let's make some speeder toys let's make sure that we can make a video game out of this. Let's make sure the 7 to 10 year old audience is played to. You're not getting my approval. All those Star Wars movies are shit.

Go back and watch them. Just go back and watch them and tell them that they hold you captivated the way Star Trek the first Star Trek reboot that J.J. Abrams did. God, it's just amazing right from the beginning. You got that huge scene, crazy stuff happening. It's amazing. And everything from the music choices to the way it's shot,

it's edited so well, you don't feel like there's a bunch of fat left. This is interesting. So Star Wars traditionally has a lot of downtime, right? If you think about how much time is spent talking about like imperial politics and Senate voting and bullshit like that, someone being happy or unhappy, there's a lot of slow dialogue and politics. I like politics. I can't stand Star Wars politics.

On the other hand, J.J. Abrams keeps that shit moving. If he has something to tell you, like if you think about the conversations between the Doctor and Kirk or Spock and Kirk, they're always happening while a ship is crashing

and the cameras and the people are speedwalking through shit blowing up and or you maybe they're just in a bay where they're like repairing you know smaller ships or something like that sparks are flying people are speed walking the whole thing is paced quickly if they can do a star wars and remove all that sleepy time bullshit that'd be a pretty amazing movie take all the kids shit out of it. Take it out. I hate it.

I hate it. And I know they won't. I'm really... I'm going into this and I'm thinking coin flip. If this is some sort of... If it even reminds me at all. If there's a Jar Jar Binks type character. If there's anything silly or goofy or any caricatures

of Jamaican accents or fucking... If there's anything silly or goofy or any caricatures of jamaican accents or fucking if there's if there's some ridiculous australian fucking uh alien or something who keeps making who's got a pouch and like surfs or something like i'm just gonna blow my brains out it even has that accent like that would that irritate the shit out of you if he's like oh that's uh you know wild pete he gets us all the space money we need, and he comes over. All right, who am I talking to over here? It's like, oh, no, you're the Imperials. Yeah, Jedi.

My father told me about you. Yeah. Yeah, it would take me out of the moment immediately. Keep those fucking kangaroo humpers out of my Star Wars. I want it to be dark and gritty. I want my Star Wars bad guy to be a demigod. I want him to be like Thor with a lightsaber. And I want my good guys to be flawed.

Yeah, I want my bad guy to be Thor with a lightsaber. I want my good guy to be flawed, to to have issues to have to have to be a bit gritty himself and i want him to fucking kill some shit when the shit hits the fan i want him to get mad i want him to like to to maybe like occasionally go over to the dark side of the forest and fucking put some lightning on some people what if what if that what if luke skywalker did that what if you like what if he's like like like got that hooded thing on and he's just sitting there like hands crossed in front of him and he's like surrounded by like a thousand bad guys and all of a sudden he starts like going super scion or whatever and like hits

the the the dark force lightning on all of them and he's making eyeballs pop out of heads like indiana jones style faces melting claymation that's what i want right you know like like luke skywalker's trying to get some shit done. He does some like rage, the lost Ark face melting. And they're like, how'd you just do that? And then it was for the greater good.

And then you and the audience get to determine whether or not he's a good guy or bad guy, whether this is for the greater good. I want him to kill things that aren't robots or clones. Thank you. Like he has plausible deniability of, well, he's still a good guy.

He only killed like a lawnmower well, he's still a good guy. He only killed a lawnmower for all intents and purposes. Exactly. Yeah. I want him to just indiscriminately I want him to be kind of like waving that lightsaber around in his spare time, not caring who he kills with it. I love the

lightsaber. I love the idea of it. I remember in high school us discussing how a theoretical lightsaber would work the idea of it um i i i remember in high school us discussing how a theoretical lightsaber would work with the the you know electromagnetic field controlling uh superheated plasma which is like four stage four stage of matter it's superheated gas with the sun's kind of made out of in a way that'd be cool you know that's my microwave from time to time sure well a form of it right but but like but if had a superheated plasma, let's say it's burning in there 12,000 degrees or something like that. It's contained in the magnetic field.

You can shape it however you want. You can change the length and everything. That's an incredible, cool weapon. I'm way out of my depth. I want to see him do something kind of like an American sniper where he's looking through the scope and he sees the kid and he's like, no, no, no, no, no. I want to see that where he's there with his lightsaber, the hero. He sees a kid pick up a blaster and be aiming it at the bidding of the bad guys towards a compound of explosives. And he has to be like, no, no.

And then eventually, he just has to do that Jedi sword throw, decapitate the child, and it comes back. And there's a big growing moment for him where he realized he had to do it for the greater good but it's very brutal what's the Australian Jedi like he threw his like a boomerang this one Luke about that boomer cyber he's just like got a koala who like talks on his shoulder that's a killer Georgeas just just heard that and he's like oh brilliant think of the little baby koala toys this would be great i heard george lucas i heard lucas gave input on the new star wars and they just completely ignored him and shut him out of the process yeah and i was encouraged by that me too i feel like anything

that fat fuck says should just be ignored and written off I wish people would go get him and like beat him up I want bad awful yeah he's bad I think he's bad at making movies and he should feel bad he's just God I mean I see like I see like you know the little things like Jar Jar is really the key to this movie your artistic fucking scruples to make that god damn

cartoon like if he was like look you know we need to make a great movie so that this thing really profits I'd be like knock yourself out that's great but no he just makes shithole fucking awfulness yeah I I don't like knock yourself out that's great but no he just makes shithole fucking awfulness yeah I uh I don't like George Lucas I don't like him he didn't give the aliens like alien accents

he just would give the aliens different accents from people on earth which I didn't like so like he's just like those ones they were Asian the ones who sold the clones like hyper hyper japanese yeah what it was like it was basically like that and then jar jar binks was just kind of racist I hated it. I hated it. It sucks shit. It's so bad. And that Hayden Christensen kid. I don't even want to go into it again.

But Star Wars sucks, man. Star Wars sucks and it's always sucked. But it's a great story and they got a lot to build on. And I hope J.J. Abrams has done something amazing. Because if he has, I feel like he cements himself in a whole new tier of directors. He's close anyway. He's done amazing things. But I feel like he cements himself in a whole new tier of directors. He's close anyway. He's done amazing things. But I feel like he gets this.

He establishes another franchise, another multi-billion dollar trilogy franchise, which is what this is truly going to be, right? This thing's going to clear fucking $5 billion between three movies by the time it's all said and done. And if he is the head of that, if he spearheads that and does that then he's on another tier he's on another level with guys like spielberg and a part of me is like hey jj abams can you do star trek 2 i know i know it's a side thing but i really like what you do there you know let's keep it going he produced it's so funny um i uh i he's producing the third Star Trek

and I think they're playing that up a lot and they're really downplaying who the actual director is. Is it M. Night Shyamalan? No. Hopefully not. It's not M. Night Shyamalan. We're in a simulator the whole time. They're not even in space. This is saved by the

bell. We were in Screech's dream the whole time. Oh, this is the end of my beard. Jackie, I think I need to shave it like Monday or something, Tuesday. I wonder if you should sell the hair to fans. That's disgusting. That is horrible. You should sell the hair to fans.

That's disgusting. That is horrible. Whenever I took my sound, my lab mic off the other day, it ripped out like a bunch of chest hair. And Chad was like, oh, these are worth a lot of money online. And put it in his pocket real quick as a joke. And it reminded me of how I saw Britney Spears use chewing gum on eBay one time. And there was a bit of a news story about it.

And I guess the guy had proof that it was hers and she tossed it in a can. And they were selling her used bubble gum, like chewed chewing gum on eBay one time, and there was a bit of a news story about it. And I guess the guy had proof that it was hers, and she tossed it in a can, and they were selling her used bubble gum, like chewed chewing gum, for a crazy amount of money. What would you pay for? I feel like I grew a beard. You totally did grow a beard. Yeah, it is undeniably a beard. It could be thicker here.

It's thicker than it looks. It's all blonde and red and stuff. But I'm looking at this action here and that's just a beard. I don't think if I saw me looking if I just ran across me today and saw me sitting at a table at a restaurant, I wouldn't be like, oh, he's trying to grow his beard out.

No. Grew a beard. Mission accomplished. Did a thing. Yes. Yeah. Kyle, forge your head with me. Sure, sure. I. Yeah. Kyle, forge your head with me. Sure, sure. I'll keep it going for a little while. I got a little more going on than, say, a Joe Lozon might. I think... Yes, Joe Lozon is good at fighting, terrible at beard growing.

Yeah. Just dreadful. I got Joe beat in that regard. That and competitive eating. Those are my two... Yeah, you guys eat gross burgers. Kind of gross, uh, gross burgers. So gross. Shit. Warm my ass. They were just, they were like room temperature. I said lukewarm, but I guess that was an overestimate as well. They were so dry. There was nothing on them. It was just cheese and meat and

bread. I needed some mustard on that shit. I just remember choking down an entire half of a burger in one gulp just to make sure I could... Because that's how I won. I forced myself to swallow something I shouldn't have been able to swallow because there's just no... That's what I like about you. Sometimes you got to do that to get a headlight. Yeah.

Taylor and I both went there. A little bit and we're both eating and chewing at roughly the same speed. And I was like, the only way I'm going to get ahead is if I do something that he's got nothing to do. And that's not chew enough. That's swallow a piece that's too big to swallow. And so I put a half of a burger in my mouth. The secret to your success was less teeth and just swallow.

And more lube. I put half a burger in my mouth, chewed, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, poured water and just swallowed and just tried to fight the gag reflex. I could feel the lump going down. I think your audience appreciated it. Yeah, I definitely did. I came out with the W. And then I purposely went and vomited around the corner so that I could have a real meal because I didn't want my Chicago night out on the town meal to be those crusty fucking disgusting cheeseburgers.

That was so awful. He's probably watching Star Wars right now. Yeah, he is. Or it's over. Yeah, I've had a couple people text me. That's what they're doing right now they're in line somewhere they're going in whatever mine in the morning i think i'm gonna get out there yeah i maybe i will too i'm definitely gonna get it watched soon ish because

i'm afraid of spoilers and you know the nature being us right like i just feel like you know you can't hit twitter or something about the risk it It's mostly like I feel like I'm good at taking context clues and like, oh, shit, that's what that picture means. Like if I see a frame and I see that it's like red, it's a lit up red thing and spoiler alert or whatever, I can instantly be like, oh, that image plus the fact that they're saying it's a spoiler plus the fact that I can see a lightsaber. Now I know. Now all I needed to see was that one image and this guy holding a red lightsaber and I'm like, oh shit, now it's ruined. So I gotta be super

careful because I feel like I'm I guess a little more intuitive than the average person. I can pick up on some shit. I have a different I feel like it's not that i'm not intuitive although that's a possibility sometimes it's just that my standard of proof is really high uh you know like i've talked about it on um on the show before with regards to like this food makes me sick you know jackie will be like i ate this i got sick this

food makes me sick i I'll be like, you know, we need to do it two more times to control for variables, right? Maybe there was a passing cloud. Maybe I ate two things. Maybe yes, I've had saltine 10,000 times in my life, but this saltine was the bad one. And Jackie hates it when she talks to me. She'll she'll like say, you know, she, she, she, she. And then the next she refers to someone else. And she's like, you know, all my friends are able to follow me. But I in my heart, I never jump to conclusions.

You need to disambiguate all your direct objects when you talk to me. It's the beer. Yeah. to disambiguate all your direct objects when you talk to me. It's the beard. And so I feel like I'm not dumb. I just require

you have to take away all the ambiguous references. You have to really prove it. Remove all the other controls or all the other variables so you only have controls and then I know for sure. That's my most operandi. i wish i could remember the movie but there was just this movie where like chis and i both knew that we were dealing with a married couple and uh and you were like they're

married how do you know and we're like well you know the rings on their fingers and you know they're sleeping in the same bed and the picture's on the wall and you know driving on the same driveway and you're like well none of that really says that they're married in the same bed and the picture's on the wall and driving on the same driveway, and you're like, well, none of that really says that they're married. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you see them walk down the aisle? That's how you know for sure. I don't see the movie marriage certificate.

I don't know. I need some documentation. I need some movie proof, okay? I feel like I could do better in what I call jumping to conclusions, which you call putting the pieces together Because I'm my standard bird my burden of proof is way too high and I miss stuff that you know They're probably not supposed to but I also I wonder if this other computer program is out there But this has happened to their head that they just you know

Purposely don't fill in all the blanks because yeah there's subtext there that that sometimes you don't pick up i'm trying to think like oh did you pick up in bone tomahawk that um that miss mrs o'dwyer had been raped many times i think i did pick up on that i forget what the context seems like it would be an easy thing to pick up on. Well, he asked how many there are, and she kind of, she has a hard time getting it out, but she's like, you know, she tells him the numbers, like a dozen or something. And it was implied by her having, you know,

being emotional while explaining the number of guys there were, was that she was counting how many had raped her, and that's how she knew how many there were. But no one says that. They didn't say it. And then when they responded to her number, I felt like there was a certain shadow over it. Like the other people weren't analytical.

Like, oh, 11, right, gotcha. No, no, I felt like they picked up on it too. They picked up and that helped me pick up on it. They were like, and it's like, ooh, you know, this has been a rough 11 or 12. I liked Bone Tomahawk a lot. I really enjoyed that. I felt like movies don't surprise me often.

Movies don't catch me off guard often, but the violence displayed in the last act of that movie, I was like, whoa, hang on a minute, what am I watching here? This is different than what I thought I was getting. Movies are so formulaic now and so, you know, A, B, C, D, E, right down the middle, you kind of know what's going to come that I love that movie just for that fact. And I thought the acting was great. I like Westerns. The main characters showed a determination that got me excited.

I don't want to ruin anything, but in the first couple minutes of the film, a person goes missing, and then they go to get her or him. And then the effort of going for that rescue is a lot tougher than you might guess. And they're so determined. And there was no weak link in there.

You'd think there would be. There's one guy who seemed like he was a little slow or something, but he was not a weak link. There were no weak links. It was a great movie. That's why I enjoyed it. My dad watched it I had recommended it to him

And he found it on there He liked it a lot I really enjoyed that thing I don't know what else to say about it I really want to see The Hateful Eight I really want to make that happen Jennifer Jason Leigh

Samuel L. Jackson Kurt Russell Looking forward to seeing that. I'm much more excited about that than I am Star Wars. If I had to pick one, it'd be The Hateful Eight. Oh, me too. The people involved in The Hateful Eight seem very proud of it, and that's selling it to me.

I don't know what it's about other than, I guess I know something it's about. But I know it's a Western, and I know that there's eight people, and they don't fully trust each other, et cetera. But everyone in it seems to think they made a masterpiece. I hope so. I hope so.

I really enjoyed the Tarantino interview on Stern, what of it I heard. I'll get around to hearing the rest of it later in the week. But it was really cool to hear him talk about that stuff. Apparently Adam Sandler was supposed to be the bear Jew in Inglourious Bastards, but at the time he was filming funny people and couldn't do it. But that role was written for Sandler. And I can't... That would have been awful.

I don't know. I don't know if it would have or not. Because you think about Eli Roth in that role. Sandler can do the Boston accent too. He's really good at it. I don't know. I don't know either. It might've changed.

Like I assume, I have faith in Tarantino. So I assume that you wouldn't get the water boy in that performance, right? That they would, he would get something out of Adam Sandler that you don't typically get in his shitty movies. So maybe, maybe something cool would have happened. Maybe Adam Sandler would have turned a corner and stopped making shitty movies. But instead he just makes movies that suck so bad they're sponsored by Dirt Devil. Have you ever seen Punch Drunk Love?

No. Good little joke there, Woody. I got it. Let's watch a minute of uh punch drunk love okay what you need to know about this is that adam sandler's character is um he's a he has a hard time in life he has a hard time with uh with like relationships and and like sharing emotions and stuff and dealing with emotion But he loves this woman very much. Are you ready? Yes, ready set play These men did this to them on purpose. Uh-oh. Does she die?

Are we supposed to know that? Anyway, I'll watch. No, she's fine. Why'd he give that to him? He's done with him. Last guy was a kid. It's okay. It's okay. Well, that's interesting.

It's an interesting movie. I think it's one of his best. I really like that movie. It's got Philip Seymour Hoffman in it. Lots of good acting. Lots of awkwardness. It's a bit slow-paced at times. You've got to appreciate the acting in the movie to get on board with it. But it's a bit slow paced at time at times i mean you've got to appreciate the acting in the movie to to get on board with it but it's a love story about a guy

who's who's not emotionally stable um he he he doesn't go water boy on you at all but he's a guy who like always right below the surface is this violent temperament where he can he's just not emotionally stable and he can lose it he can go bipolar and just come unglued really quickly. I saw a good movie today. Odd Thomas. Have you seen it? Never even heard of it. Odd Thomas is on Netflix right now. I think I found it one day.

I was on Rotten Tomatoes or something, and they have filters for just Netflix where you can find highly rated stuff. Stuck it in my like watch later queue. And today I just tried it. The guy can see dead people and they give him clues as to bad things that are going to happen.

He has a girlfriend that he loves very much and something big is going down in that town. And it is awesome it's really good I I don't want to ruin a thing but I'll check that out yeah that's what you say yeah it was really really well done and I was just like I shit like it started off kind of there was an element of goofy to it, and I didn't expect it to be so hard-hitting. So, very cool.

Want to call it a show there? Yeah. Check out Odd Thomas, everyone. I'm going to check out Star Wars. Check out Odd Thomas. And check out the merch store. Yeah. Definitely check out the merch store.

Very proud of what Taylor's put together for us. I think there's some cool stuff on there. Lots of nice designs. I can honestly say, like, I went through there, and I was like, I want virtually every one of these. Like, I like them all. There's going to be more all the time. Yeah.

There's some really funny stuff that apply to each of us. There's a Cliff Hutchinson attorney at law shirt. There's a Kyle's tranny prepare shirt. What's a, there's a Kyle's, uh, tranny prepare shirt. There's, um, uh, what's the Woody centric one? Oh, Jesus.

Um, I don't know. There's one on his face and then they're doing one now for, it's going to be like, uh, take a walk on my happy trail or something to do with happy trails or what? Yeah. Yeah.

So there's, there's something for everybody. There's a, there's some, uh, and there, and we made shirts that are not only good quality uh repicked shirts that are not only good quality fabric but uh you know they're designs that you wouldn't have an issue wearing in front of your grandmother or a co-worker or something if you saw them out you know it's not

it's not gonna say it's not gonna say it's like pussy and blow on the front or something like that i like the gluten shirt i still think it's my favorite. Yeah, the gluten shirt. Very funny. Good call. Yeah, so check those out. All right. Very good.

So Painkiller Ready, episode 261. Thanks, everyone. See you.