Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #263

Episode Date: January 8, 2016

This week on PKA, the guys countdown to New Years while going over the best and worst movies, tv and games of 2015, discuss some of the recent Syndicate drama and more stories of the poop bandit are shared!

And we're live! All right. PKA episode 263, recording on New Year's Eve. We just want everyone to know this episode of PKA is being brought to you by our friends, Credit Karma. We'll talk more about them later in the show, but for now...

Yeah, Credit Karma. You guys are awesome. Hey, I'll just throw this out there. I want to say in the pre-Patreon era, if PKA fell on new year's eve we might skip a show yeah yeah well we'd have probably skipped last week's show too to be honest because last week's show we had to like last week's show we had to film like three days early in the middle of the day and we sat here for six hours it was a six hour recording

session uh so that you know there'd be a christmas show but that's just what we do so those are free patrons that have turned this from like a little side goof we do to something that I'm now being paid for and therefore obligated to do well thank you patrons you guys are fucking sexy and awesome and we appreciate yeah some of us might be out you know having parties and going to

bars on New Year's eve but not with patreon now we're doing this instead yeah now we're doing thanks patreon i got it i got a good first topic oh i thought we're gonna do the syndicate thing that's why i clicked start so because okay go right into it all right so i'm most ignorant about this thing i i know the like abstract uh like bullet points. So fill me in. What happened? Let me take the reins on this. And Taylor, I know you saw it too.

So tell me if I missed anything significant. It appears that what happened is there's this guy. What's his name? It starts with an M, like Makebot or something. Yeah, somethingbot. Okay. And he apparently made a 45-second animated video for, and I'm going to mess this up too the Mennonite

so this is a group of Minecrafters that play a particular game variant I think it's like ultra hardcore I'm not even sure was that like $600 or $700 worth of work or what? so this is a bunch of Minecrafters.

It includes Syndicate, Jericho, and a couple of really big names. Captain Sparkles. If they pick you up and you're a Minecrafter, then you're very happy about that because you're in the coolest group. It's a collab thing, and they play together and against each other, etc. Anyway, they were going to pimp, I think, their website for this, and this guy made a 45-second animated video. So that's that. There's a little bit of fuzziness on what kind of compensation he wanted going into it. I think he only expected to have his name credited at the top of the description,

not the bottom. This guy appears to be pretty youtube savvy but at the top of the description say you know video by macabot or whatever his name was yeah um everybody but syndicate put his name in the description which is why he targeted syndicate in particular and uh it's likely that syndicate didn't know this was a requirement it didn't you know wasn a requirement. I don't think Syndicate wanted to spite the guy. I think that it was removed. Oh, I shouldn't mention this. There's some sort of manager or agent that contacted the animator and made this all happen

and then told all the talent, Jericho, Syndicate, CaptainSparklez, etc., to upload it. So it's not as if Syndicate and this guy hammered out a deal. Syndicate was just told, hey, upload this video. May or may not have even been told to credit the guy in the description, but he uploaded it and didn't credit him like that much. You know, who knows what he was told to do. And then I guess a month or two ago, the guy said like, hey, you know, you didn't fulfill your end of the deal. And I think he wanted money, which like in my head, I'm already processing. Well, is this right? It's not as if I can slap you in the description of a month old video and say there, now you're credited.

I've ran into this sort of thing before late like usually so when be money but but the sort of compensation would be some other form of like social media because the what he's lost out on is is a publicity right you know getting his name out there to that the fans in the description the video so it seems like a Facebook post would solve this that Twitter yeah I don't know syndicate has a massive Twitter a it seems like him tweeting this guy's channel out would instantly...

Twitter's not really the same, though. His Twitter is gigantic, but it's like 15% as big as his YouTube audience. His YouTube is the cow that this guy wanted. But a higher percentage with social media? Markup brings up a good point, but if the

tweet was right he could have gotten the guy more attention i mean the twitter's smaller but let me just finish this thought the twitter's smaller but you know a link in the description is not as devoted to the guy as a tweet could have been you know yeah so the tweet would be all about like hey i'm so sorry i forgot to credit this guy he does amazing work check his channel. And then perhaps that would have been the solution in line with the original thing. Given that I didn't think of that, I was in my head thinking, how do you make this right?

You know, if I'm syndicate, I can't, like if I told G Fuel, I'll tell you what, for this month's pimping, I'm gonna go to some October video and change the description to include you, that wouldn't be fair at all, right? Like that, you can't just retroactively fix that. You have to come up with something different. So given that that ship has sailed,

money would make sense. Now, in the guy's video where he talked about it, he's like, Syndicate got 600,000 views on this video. And it's, this could be me misreading it, but I got the vibe that he was kind of proud of the fact that he got 600,000 views. Like, you know, the video must have been good, it got this many views.

But I assure you, I could upload a video of Syndicate blowing his nose for 45 seconds and get 600,000 views because of the following and fan base that Syndicate has built. You know, when Syndicate uploads today's video, the amount of views he gets is really determined by his, like the library of work

that he's already created. People, it's not as if everything is going viral on the Reddit front page because of how awesome today's video is. You know, I watch Casey Neistat stuff a bunch. I don't watch how awesome today's video is you know i watch casey neistat stuff a bunch i don't watch it because today's video was so great i watch it because of the track record of great videos and you know animator dude don't get too excited about your 600 000 view video my shaving thing would have got six thousand six hundred thousand views on

tom's channel it would have happened so what's going on with this one? I got more of a, like, I remember him saying that, like, oh, it got 600,000 views. The way I picked up on it was more that he was like, you know, this did, it served its purpose. Like, it clearly wasn't a big flop on your channel. And, you know, I feel like I'm owed some compensation for this, whether it be attention, which is I'm pretty sure what the initial agreement was i think or money or whatever like videos under a minute get compensated really poorly so yeah if i were to estimate it i would say something like 35 cents for a thousand views if people don't know longer videos get better ads. The algorithm has probably changed

and I don't know if anyone really knows it but it depends. If you just watched a long ad and then you go to the next video they won't hit you with one again regardless of what that next video is. If the video is really short then you won't get a pre-roll

and if the video is under a minute you never get a pre-roll which pays better than like one of those slide up from the bottom ads. At 45 seconds, that slide up from the bottom ad, I think is all you'll ever see. And they pay poorly. So even though it's 600,000 views,

which is a lot of views, I doubt it made over 200 bucks. But the video itself, the purpose wasn't really to make money. It was to drive attention to a Minecraft server or whatever their Minecraft thing is. It was a website. A website that promotes their

Minecraft world. I don't know what it is. And that, I'm sure, makes a lot of money, as a lot of Minecraft seems to do nowadays. And not saying he's entitled to any of that money, but it is shitty that he didn't get the attention that he thought he was getting.

I feel like a social media post is all this guy's oh yeah it looks i think it got wrapped and i i think tom paid him two or three hundred dollars just to bury this problem i bet harley paid him what'd you say harley like uh harley morenstein epic mealtime guy he posted about it and offered to pay the dude because really felt bad for him yeah that's interesting um i i heard a guy who said that um i watched like a response video and that response video said that tom paid him i don't know what's true um it wasn't like i heard from tom directly. But anyway, it seemed like the world didn't line up with Syndicate. He made a response video and, God, I didn't get the vibe. I thought Tom, I saw Tom's video and thought, hmm, I've been in similar positions before where like your agent sort of trades on your good name and now you're on the hook, you know? Like I don't know, someone will get

contacted, do something at Woody Craft by my project manager that I'm not even in the loop on. And then afterwards they've got their palm out for payment and it's like, I didn't, like you didn't even talk to me. Like I don't know you you. I don't know. Like, but I guess I got to pay. Otherwise, you know, you'll feel like you didn't do your work. I got a guy right now who he wrote code for me. It's buggy. It doesn't work, but he feels like he finished it. And it's only 75 bucks that I owe him.

I think I'm just going to pay because I like a track record of no one ever saying that they got ripped off by me. I had to have another developer come and fix this stuff um lefty is a good example right lefty had this thing and he you know he he's god it's so complicated people are done hearing about it but it was like can i take a shot at because i think i've got it at this point um initially we offered lefty like let's cut this pie into three pieces, but we all, of course, are partners, so we all assume an equal amount of liability. He said, oh no, I don't want that liability. I don't want a slice of this thing. I'm an employee. But he still wanted one third of everything's money.

He wanted to have his pie and have his cake and eat it too. It was ridiculous at the end. And I think when you finally paid him off, when we finally paid him off, because we all agreed on it, it was two or three months before anyone cleared more money than Lefty did on the show. Because I remember when it happened, either you or Chiz pointed out, they're like, hey, now Lefty did on the show. Because I remember when it happened, like either you or Chiz pointed out, they're like, hey, now Lefty isn't the most highly paid member of PPA ever. Yeah, I remember that. In particular, it was like, we had a bunch of expenses.

Like he really wanted an attorney to draw up some legal documents. He really wanted like to be incorporated in the state of Delaware or whatever it was. And as an employee, he wouldn't have to pay for any of those business fees. But as a member, he would. And he sliced it all up so that he like, you know, as an owner, he wouldn't have to pay for any of those business fees. But as a member, he would. And he sliced it all up so that he was an owner, he would.

So he was an owner for the revenue, but an employee for the expenses. And he just got all the money and we were paying all the bills. And in the end, we gave him everything we wanted. Why? Just for one reason. Everything he wanted. So that he could never make that video saying I got ripped off. Right?

Just paid him more than he earned. And I feel like if Tom could go back in time, he'd have given the guy $200. Oh, yeah. I don't think anybody watches it that already isn't biased against Tom or something and thinks that he did anything maliciously. It seems like a bit of miscommunication. But the reason that it's escalated now is because it was handled very, very poorly on Tom's part.

Did you watch... He and Keemstar were on Keemstar's stream, and they were chatting about it. And the dude... I only heard about that. Whateverbot. Yeah, I saw part of it. Whateverbot, his name is. He wouldn't go in there, and I saw why.

They had spoken before with Keemstar as the kind of biased moderator of the discussion. Because, I mean, if you're running a youtube channel like you're gonna go with the guy who has the potential to to draw more attention to it you're gonna take the side of the big guy uh kind of makes sense but it was handled so poorly by syndicate in that there was like insults being thrown around like uh he just came off as really pompous of like yeah i don't respect you uh you don't deserve any of my respect. And it was like, God, you're just digging a hole. And knowing that this is already on Reddit, like all those people are going to be like beating themselves off,

thinking about how that they're taking the little guy's side, you know, already getting like that moral erection. And you're just giving them ammunition. Like it could have been handled so much better. And I think it's really just a little bit of outrage, albeit mild over his response and the way he handled speaking to the guy instead of just kind of oh i'm really sorry man that was a mistake i'll make it up to you yeah yeah there was no i'll make this right

it was i give you 10 seconds to take this offer or fuck off right um okay i shouldn't paraphrase he's like i give you 10 seconds to accept this offer because I'm leaving right now. And that's not how you make decisions. This isn't a video game where it's like, oh, fuck, we're on the clock. And he's not a gangster either. Where it's like, take what I give to you. Where it's like, no, fuck off. We'll discuss this like adults.

The respect you give someone shouldn't be contingent on their subscriber count. Like you can't just go around and be rude to people like that. I didn't think Tom came off as badly as everyone else said he did, but I didn't see the live stream. I know Keemstar took a lot of negative feedback, which he doesn't care at all about negative feedback. Yeah, he doesn't. But he covered this like a month ago, like the first time the guy asked for payment and he was very biased towards Syndicate.

You know, like his role of... That's the video I'm talking about where Syndicate was a little less than courteous to the guy. Okay. The one I saw actually, it was maybe two months ago, I don't know, whatever it is, the drama alert I saw actually, maybe two months ago, I don't know, whatever it is, the drama alert I saw was, I don't, maybe we're both on it.

Maybe I'm wrong. But anyway, Keemstar very much took Tom's side. And that's typically not what you expect from someone who plays a reporter role. plays a reporter role right which i don't know if anyone buys this like reporter social justice like persona that he you know comes and goes with but uh um yeah uh keemstar very much went towards the guy that might be able to help him and not towards the guy that can't and that was uh that was a thing but um yeah i don know if, if I clearly the guy was owed something, he did work for you. I would have just paid it and kept my name clear. And there's some value in that. Like, you know, at Woody craft, I don't, we've typically pay someone when the work's

done so that they can't just like take the money and not do it. But because I have a good reputation for paying and keeping my word, lots of people are happy to sign up for that deal. Well, was this guy in contact with Tom? Was he saying, hey, Tom, you didn't do my thing. You didn't put my link in the description. Yeah. And Tom extended. Oh, see, I was going to put it in negative words. I was going to say extended the middle finger, which isn't fair to Tom.

Tom said, no, I'm not going to pay you. You can bug off. That was the, you know, a basic response. And so the guy made more videos and more of a stink until he got, you know, keep pursuing the payment that he felt he deserved. So, but yeah and so initially he worked with tom's probably shouldn't call him tom's agent but some sort of mennonite or whatever that thing is called admin type thing i know mennonite's like like religion right yeah mennonite's

like an amish person that couldn't commit like well you know you gotta have toast like let's see it went through a midnight huh yeah they're allowed to use the internet if it doesn't like go against like if it's only for work like i was talking to my grandparents they had their house built by midnights and i was like so those are just amish people did they come here in a horse and buggy like with all their nine kids all dressed up like little house on the prairie and start hammering it in my grandpa's like well you know they're allowed to use electronics if it makes their job easier and i'm like so anytime they want then like you know set up their website that just looks you know like coded in html look shitty just yeah i uh there were some amish people up north i was up there

and apparently um but the deal was that they had a John Deere tractor, but they didn't own it because they paid like every bit of the loan off except for a dollar, and they allowed the dealership to hold the note. So technically they didn't own that tractor. And they had a phone, but it was in a shed at the end of the driveway. So Mayonite? It's like fooling God. How would you pronounce that? Mayonite?

Mayonite. Mayonite? Mayonite. Mayon pronounce that mayonite meonite meonite meonite meonetti i googled it i don't know how to say that i should because they're a pretty big deal in the minecraft world just um so anyway this is that group with jericho syndicate captain sparkles and more and uh the admin there worked with this guy originally, and probably Tom didn't know how to fulfill this guy's needs and therefore didn't. Yeah, it seems like a really, like... Yeah, I didn't...

If I'm being honest, it seems like such a small blip on the radar that's got blown out of proportion by people. I don't get it. It seems like the guy should have just invoiced Tom. It's a small blip on Tom's radar, and he did invoice him, but it's a big flip on Tom's radar. And he did invoice him. But it's a big flip for this guy. Like this was his coup de grace of like making this for them is going to be huge. It's going to get my name out there.

And then for the biggest guy involved to not put that there. I wouldn't have paid him either. I wouldn't have paid him either. I would have gave him a social media push, which is because that's more analogous to what he's owed. I'd have talked to him. I, you know, if I had thought of what you said, I'd have made that offer. Like, all right, I get it. You know, this was a publicity deal. I didn't do my thing. Let's brainstorm on how to make this right. You know? And, uh, you know, if I, in my heart felt like he was owed 100 and this

guy said 200, I might've just moved for him. You him you know the hundred dollars is not worth what it's done to tom's reputation yeah you know and and it's the internet it'll be short-lived but right now like dude a million people have a negative impact of tom and i don't think that's an exaggeration you know you make the front page of reddit and you through the feedback, like the feedback on this guy's video that I hate to say it because I feel like I'm fussing at Tom, but I'm not what the comments were douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche. It called him a douche a hundred times. And then you looked at, they, they're like, Hey, there's two sides of the story. And they show Tom's rebuttal douche,che douche douche douche that's that everyone

and tom's rebuttal had tons of dislikes and um if it's if if the way to win drama is to get you know people to agree with your side tom didn't win i don't know i could have won it's pretty anti-youtube anyway i i doubt i mean as long as the people are over on youtube are still on on tom's side and that's all that really matters. It's not a big deal. This sounds really silly to me. It isn't a big deal. The only thing that happened is Tom's reputation got damaged.

If I'm an animator working for Tom, I want to be paid in advance now. Yeah. Well, but this animator wasn't working for money though that's that's the thing that to me just makes this whole thing silly it's like well now you're gonna work for credit you won't get that either well and if you come to him and say look you didn't fulfill your end of the deal you won't get it either well he's working for for like a mention in the description though like that that's what that was his payment he didn't get that but you know it was going and that's just what i know like i doubt tom was like i know i agreed to put you here but i won't sounds more

like he just didn't happen he forgot or didn't happen and then after the fact he was like well fuck he could have won all this drama just by circumventing it by like when the guy was reaching out just to be like, oh, fuck, man. Like, that's my bad. Like, I should have taken care of you here. Let me do this for you. And then if anything, it would be another supporter. So if anybody did say shit about this in the future about Tom, this guy would be like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I've worked with the guy. You're BSing because he took care of me back when I contacted him. He's not too big for his britches. Like, he helped me. Instead of it being like trying to big league him, so it seemed, into kind of talking him down. It just makes you look douchey. And I've talked to Tom. I've played with him before, not in a long time, so who knows?

People change. But he was really cool. He was a cool guy who was easy to get along with and really amicable. Like, good guy. So it's hard for me to believe that he's a cool guy who was easy to get along with and really amicable like good guy so it's hard for me to believe that he's doing anything maliciously but this could have been handled it couldn't have been handled worse i should say like it was well i think eventually using keemstar as the mitigator as the mitigator like what was he thinking like uh it's just i don't know yeah even if he eventually paid him though that's like once the

news loop has dropped off so it's like the story is that know. Yeah, even if he eventually paid him, though, that's like once the news loop has dropped off. So it's like the story is that he didn't pay this guy and he ripped him off. Not that, you know, oh, and then he paid him. Like, the news day recycled and our videos changed. Like, waiting for the next thing. Yeah, all he needed to say was, oh, I was supposed to credit you.

How do we make it right? You know, yeah and you know two hundred dollars for tom is he'd make more than that during that conversation you know it wasn't about the money it was about whether or not this guy was owed payment and he was owed something uh no one i don't think thought of the tweet idea kyle except you but um that would have been one way to solve it like i told you, I've had this happen before where somebody didn't get linked up the way they were supposed to, and it's like, oh, well, it's over now.

You missed that big influx of viewerships. We'll just give you a Facebook post and get you a couple hundred thousand impressions there instead because it's the same difference. It's better. Social media is better. You think? You think it's better to difference. It's better. It's better. Social media is better. You think? You think it's better to get like 100,000 on Facebook as opposed to 3 million on YouTube?

600,000. 30 million. I mean, 50 million. If you're just the link in the description, like the value that's attached to that compared to the value of being a post. Like there's a difference between like, hey, look at this Minecraft video.

Oh, and if you happen to be on the right piece of hardware, then click down below and you can follow along and see the guy who made this. It's probably like a 3% click rate if he's lucky. I doubt it's 3%. I don't want to re-quote unreliable numbers, but I've heard fantastic things. Tom sells t-shirts.

You know, everybody does. And he'll Um, Tom sells a t-shirts, you know, everybody does. And, uh, he'll just tweet out like a t-shirt sale and make X amount of dollars, dollars that everybody would envy. Uh, I'm told, uh, based on that tweet. And it's like, wow, that's, that's the power of his Twitter, right? You know, he can, he can drive that many people who are interested in stuff. So, um, um so yeah getting your own personal private tweet over there is much more valuable than being in the link in the description this thing should have been solved with like yeah oh hey by a tweet that said by the way here's jimmy cries a lot about his shit who made my made my video for me jimmy was owed jimmy got

fucked over his name is macbot or something but that guy got fucked over that guy made a video and an animated video he said it took him a month by the way i could give a fuck how long it takes someone to do things you know i i've had coders telling me like this is five months work and i think well you're slow as hell like i don't know why i have to pay extra because it takes you five months to do something another guy do in a week but uh he said he spent a month making this 45 second video i'm not an animator i don't know what to make of that but that seems like a lot they make south park in like a few hours right if he really spent 160 hours doing a 45 second video then he needs a new job and or a new machine or something maybe he's got a laptop

like i had back in the day all right 18 hours let's go yeah yeah this whole i spent a month on it business is irrelevant you know like how slow you it's about how much the product is worth and what they agreed on but i'm getting off topic um i just it happens to me a lot oh yeah I worked on this super hard 80 hour weeks yeah well you need a new line of work because you're not doing good but yeah

so I guess that wraps that up I wonder where Taylor went I'll see you back in a second yeah it was just handled poorly I saw Tom's private video and thought it came off much better than everyone else seemed to think it did. But I didn't see his live streams and his partnership with Keemstar

and all that fun stuff. Oh, so Wings of Redemption hot sauce. Hot Wings of Redemption. Incoming. Yeah, yeah. So I found a place who can help us fulfill the order. We're getting some samples shipped out. They should be to everyone before next PKA, I'm hoping.

We're going to pick a sauce. Wings of Redemption is on board. He's agreed to license his image and name to me. So I'm going to get some sort of contract drawn up for that. And at some point, I'm driving on up to Conway, South Carolina, and I'm going to put wings in a chef's costume and take some promotional photographs for this thing

where we need a good picture of him for the bottle. I want it to be something funny and maybe him wearing a chef's hat. Or tasting it with a spoon. Yeah, yeah. God, I really, really hope this falls into the category of PKA ideas that happen.

I think so because everybody's on board, right? I don't see why this isn't going to happen. We just got to get – Wings is already on board. I just got to go up there and see him. And I got my chef's hat. That's going to be funny. I got to find him an apron to wear. I think he needs like a chef's apron for the picture.

But yeah, I think we're a go on this one. I think this is a PKA idea that is pretty much 80% done. And now all we're willing to do is pick the exact hot sauce we're going to use. The one that most exemplifies all that Wings of Redemption is. And he's going to get some feedback on this. And then I'll get the picture, get the labels done, and then we'll start selling them and shipping them. I think we're going to do a limited run.

I also think it's only fitting that maybe there's, if Chef Redemption is willing to do maybe a quick video showing how he recommends making the sauce, maybe mixing it with butter, how he bastes his wings. Does he put baking soda on it to dry it up so it's crispy? What does he do? Because I, for one, would love to see it and try and emulate that. I would love to see Chef Redemption make some hot wings.

I will see if he's up for that. And if he is, I will film him cooking and giving some tips and you know talking about his sauce and and how he came up with the recipe and and you know maybe him holding a platter of wings that he's prepared and yeah I could I could probably do that like a little 30 second promo video uh yeah that'd be fun yeah that could happen that'd be real easy since I'm going up if I'm going up there anyway uh I haven't seen him since you know he left my house from the boot camp thing so it'd be good to see him I I don't know if I've seen him in person since we went to that New Year's Eve thing like three or four years ago.

I've never seen him. I've heard good things. You have to go to him. Yeah, you should come with me. You should fly on down here. It would be like $150. Fly on down here. Hop in with me.

We'll ride up there. And you can be my grip. You can hold the mic. flying down here we hop in with me we'll ride up there and uh you can be my you can be my grip you can you know the mic i'll fly in for a road trip yeah yeah it's a life experience man like i have yeah i have what are you going these woody's gamer tag stickers and this is a pka idea that never went anywhere but i really really really wanted to put it on his stop sign for his um walking videos and just like tap on the sign like the stop sign was it was his turnaround point it was a central figure in the wings of redemption walkathon and i'd wanted to put some branding on it i thought

that would be super funny if people were like what the fuck and i was thinking about going and buying like a hundred fake snakes off amazon because i know wings is terrified of snakes and like planting them all along his walking route so like there would just be fake like realistic looking cobras and shit in the bushes and in the grass oh that'd be so great if like him running. I was very serious about it. I bought the snakes. I asked my girlfriend. I was like, let's do it. Let's drive up there.

And she's like, how long is the drive? I was like, we'll be back in 13 hours. Just a quick 13. Or I could picture Wings doing that. He's walking and day four. He's like, that cobra's been eyeing me all week. Like, sitting there in the bushes. like he's walking and you know day four he's like that cobra's been eyeing me all week like somebody make a pka subreddit straw poll i want you to take a guess as to whether or not the hot sauce is like you know the paintball events which actually happen or is it going to fall the way of

um i don't know b Bum's Night Out? Bug fights. Bug fights is a better example. Yeah, bug fights. Bug fights didn't have legs. That also got to the stage of buying things. Yeah, I've got the terrarium and everything. Bug fights is just too inhumane.

It just seemed like you were going to get in some trouble somewhere or at least be branded as some sort of a weird animal cruelty guy by fighting these bugs to the death. And I just didn't want to be part of it. And Kitty was just... They're not forcing them to fight. It's entirely their decision once they're in the cage what happens. It was probably okay with eight-inch scorpions and giant orb-weaving spiders and crazy shit like that. Snake-like centipedes. It was just a good idea, but

I can't do it here. Now, I mean, I will send this terrarium to you, Woody, if you think that your wife would allow you to have gigantic insects at your house. I've got you fully set up. She would probably allow it, but I don't want to do that. You know, I bet they smell

worse than you would think. Like a big nasty tarantula molt or something like that. I bet it just smells old. You know what you should have done? You should have kept that black snake that you caught, and then you could have dropped all the bugs in at one time. Do they form an alliance? Do they overcome your differences?

It's kind of like a World War II analogy. Like, are we going to gang up and destroy fascists? I picture this survival reality TV show, right, maybe, where, like, you and I are together for now until I backstab you later, and then, you know, now I'm the last person left. Yeah, then they vote the centipede off because he thinks he's starting to, you know, get too close, get too chummy with the snake. That'd be great.

If you don't vote, you sting them with poison. Those things are terrifying. I'm glad they're not in my home. And if they ever got loose here, you'd just have to burn the fucking place down, right? You'd have to move. You'd have to leave. You'd just get the fuck out. It would be too much. But yeah, this one's going to happen.

And I was even thinking that it'd be fun to do a normal-sized bottle of hot sauce, whatever the fuck that is, for $10 or something, but then maybe have like a small like novelty sized bottle of hot sauce that was like Gangster Granny's XXX Hot or something like that. I wish we could do a sampler though, and we had Hot Wings of Redemption, Gangster Granny's XXX

and then like Bastard Brooks Ghost Pepper Hot Sauce. Bastard Brooks Ghost Pepper Hot Sauce. triple x and then like bastard brooks ghost pepper hot sauce bastard brooks ghost pepper hot sauce yeah i get it because he's a ghost because he's dead because he's passed away god rest his soul but but we could totally license his image and you know make a ghost pepper hot sauce out of him and you have all three i would i think the sampler i'd buy two samplers so that I could eat one and save one. Yeah. That's what I want. That's why I like the idea of having

you know, like, I want it to be a hot sauce that you're going to eat. Like, I don't want some like joke hot sauce that you're just going to put on a shelf and look at. Like, I want you to put this on your chili or your pizza or chicken or whatever. But all those, we've talked about before before those super nuclear hot sauces like i don't like that stuff i'm never gonna eat that it's unpleasant i got

two or three bottles of them now that i'm never gonna use i thought you use them in a dish like you take a nuclear hot sauce you put it in like your um chili and you know a little dab will do you you dilute it with a gallon of chili and now you've got a thing that's edible. I suppose you could, but... You could do that. But I like the actual, like, like with Frank's or Louisiana Extra Hot. That's what I like, yeah.

I use it on pizza. I like applying it to my food, you know. Eat it. Maybe I want a little more. Pour that on there. I don't want the whole, you know... I have just what Kyle was talking about. I have one called Ass Blaster that Melissa bought me,

and it's this. It's got a picture of a donkey mooning you on the bottle, and then it comes in a little wooden outhouse. It's really cool, but I was like, when she got it for me, I was like, oh, that's awesome. I'm going to put some of it on my food. And so I had a piece of pizza or whatever, and I took off the cap, poured on as much as I would have of Frank's,

which I use a lot of Frank's, and so I put just a ton of this or whatever and I took off the cap poured on as much as I would have of like franks which is I use a lot of franks and so I put just a ton of this shit on there just took a way too big of a bite and I was like oh oh well oh man this is hotter than I thought it would be it was just horrible for like 15 minutes because there was there was not a

discernible flavor whatsoever at all it was just hot and it was unpleasant yeah I've had hot wings that are like that before. I don't like that. So the hot wings of redemption sauce is gonna be something that's probably like a 5 out of 10 on the heat scale. Somewhere in there around medium hot

that normal people will like. That's what you want with wings anyway, because it's gonna be a hot sauce, but I guess specifically a wing sauce. Yeah. And then you make hot wings of redemption. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. I really hope you get him to do, you know,

at least one tutorial of how he would make hot wings. But make sure there's no Googling beforehand. I want to know exactly how he thinks you're supposed to make hot wings from the get-go. I could do it, like, redneck style. Like, maybe cook them outdoors um maybe with an overturned sideways like grocery cart acting as

I was thinking we deep fry them but we use like an old rusty barrel and like a propane cooker to heat it up or something like that like it looks like it looks kind of like a meth lab um maybe we just take apart a meth lab that's already there and I'll take anything that actually happens if it's the electric stove and wings's trailer it's good for me i just whatever i i i worry that when we get into constructing meth lab

sets that we're very veering into the didn't actually like the not going to happen territory well the sauce is definitely happening. The picture of him is definitely happening. And people are going to be able to buy it. All that's happening. What's iffy is if he's up for making a video at all. But then going forward, I guess how do you cook? He should make a video because we'd definitely pimp it on the show

and it would probably get, you know. I think he'd be up for it. I mean, I'll film it. Probably double or triple the views of, you know, whatever his average is now. And, you know, keep the money. My girlfriend just got a DSLR. I'll use that. I'll go up there and film it.

What'd she get? A Nikon 7100 or something like that. Okay. A good one. I i'm not really i'm i don't know the nikon models as well as i know the canon models i'm more of a 7200 guy ah yes yes of course of course yeah better depth of field yeah well you don't have to tell me i know exactly what we're talking about kyle have you thought about what pose you're gonna have him strike for the front?

I've thought a lot about it. Woody has mentioned a silhouette, a 45-degree angle like Hitchcock. So you just see the silhouette of wings, which is interesting. I would like maybe that could be part of the promotional media that we put together, the promotional package we put together for this. media that we put together, the promotional package we put together for this. But I'm thinking I want like, I want it to be like this, like tight, like in on his face and in color, full beard, chef's hat. And he's got like a jar of it maybe in his hand. He's holding the jar of the hot sauce and he's either eating a wing or he's going, he's like doing one of those or something like that.

But I kind of want him to be kind of like turn his head, like turn his head a little bit and like look right at the lens and like, like be making that like pursing his lips and like that kissing sort of thing. That's good. In my vision, which you can use or discard as you see fit is wings, head to foot, right? Full profile, but blacked out.

You know, so it's just like a silhouette and in the chef's hat, you know, striking some sort of pose. He could be very proud. He could be doing one of these things. You know, take a couple of them, see what works out. Take it against a plain background so that you can easily, you know, like, you know,

select and Photoshop the silhouette out. And that would be, that's, and I picture a red label with the black wings on it and you know whatever we could i want to even play off the pka what if branding with the what if we get him to agree to like lie down on his back and and just completely cover his his like head and hot wings until all you can see is his face just peeking his head in hot wings until all you can see is his face just peeking out from the hot wings, and that's the cover. Oh, you already heard he's doing, or maybe like the, he's like laying back on that chair,

and then hot wing sauce pouring on him all over his white t-shirt. Flash dance style. Yeah, flash dance. You know what I would like on the back is, you know how if you buy a bottle of barbecue sauce, it's not just barbecue sauce. It says on the back, for wings, take out the wings. Put them in the oven.

Do this, that, and it gives specific instructions. I want the back of wings to say, open the wings. Put them in the oven for four games of domination. Warm up the butter until you know you've kept a just whatever he would do yeah put it in there till it smells good you know you then go check it and realize that you are premature it needs longer like i'm not sure how to cook wings like i know you can like put them on a like a tray with like tray with the sauce and everything and just kind of bake them, but can't you deep fry them and then dip them in the sauce?

You can. The way we do it, I don't say we, she does it, in the oven, is you cover it in baking soda or powder. I don't know what the name of the shit, the white stuff is that we get on there, but it takes all the moisture out. Flour, probably.

Semen. Just a lot of it. We can only do it every few weeks and i have to work diligently but um yeah you put on that on there then you bake it and it gets really really crisp absorbs all the moisture in the skin so it gets crackly and then you just take one of those like baster things at the end and just paint all the all the sauce on it's very good yeah i think i want to deep fry them. If I'm making hot wings of redemption, they've got to be deep fried, in my opinion. I just don't see any way around it. I think you deep fry them in a hubcap behind the trailer, and then you

toss them in the sauce. You drown them in the sauce and toss them. I don't know what the contraption for the tossing is, but I'm imagining one of those bingo things that you spin and everything just rotates on the inside also made with some backyard equipment. I just want it

to remain dignified because that's the reason that he turned down the porn. That's the priority. Well he didn't do the porn. Remember it was $5,000 for that porn he was going to make. That's very different. We had lined up a producer. Very industry experts you know the whole thing was was just ready to happen and then wings said no and and while he didn't use these words he it was because he was worried

that it would damage his dignity of course it would it was crazy that whole thing was outrageous we the whole thing in my opinion the joke about the whole thing was that wings had agreed to do something we were like well would you would you if this would you if that would you if this oh you would huh well watch me do my thing because i'll make that fucking happen see you sweat mystery redemption like that's the whole joke it's like yeah it's it's um it's eliminating his objections like when you're selling something right like when a guy says i'd give a dude a blow job for 10 grand and you're like oh well yeah second charlie show me and uh yeah i see where you're coming from

me i i i don't know maybe i just wanted to see that nutsack i never happened i was like like i figured there's like a five percent chance you know just really outside shot that he might like who knows like really need the money for some spur of the moment thing and be like well i know where i can get five grand real quick you know that sort of thing could come up right but but with this i think this is just like, I've wanted to do this forever. I brought it up so, so long ago because I just wanted to make a cooking video called Hot Wings of Redemption.

Just because it's a little play on words and I thought it was silly. But this we're going to do. And we'll all get some hot sauce out of it. And the fans will get a sort of PKA Wings of Redemption novelty item. If he doesn't do it, I'm going to do a wing video with the hot wings of redemption sauce you know i don't have a dslr 6000 or whatever but you know i can i can have a friend to come over and hold an iphone you know i'll make one

too i'll make a wing video iphones aren't bad No, they're really not. But a tripod will help a lot. That's considerably helpful. Do you want to do that too? Woody, are you willing to make a wing video with the sauce? Yeah, I feel like I was slow to admit that I'm not so much a gaming channel anymore. It's kind of a vlog slash PKA channel. And, you know, I do a Let's Play here and there or a vlog slash PKA channel. And you know, I do a let's play here and there or something. But now it's like, you know what? I feel like a cooking Wings of Redemption thing is right up my alley. Shucks. Maybe Jackie will partner with me

and we'll do it together. I feel like we should all have a little competition here and we should, but with like a time limit and, and that'd be it. Like, like Like, I don't know what the time limit for each of our cooking videos is. But set a time limit and then each of us makes a cooking video and we go for... 11 minutes tops. Oh, Jesus. I was thinking way shorter. Yeah, well, the good ads happen at 10 minutes. Well, we've got three...

So... We've got three videos combined, though. Oh, you're saying doing it on each individual channel. I kind of wanted to be able to rapid fire them. I was thinking we'd do it on each individual channel. We could cross promote or whatever. I don't know. Do you even have a channel, Kyle?

Yeah, I've got a channel I can use. It's youtube.com slash FPS. I could use that. Put it there. It's got like 70,000 something like that we should make rules for I think the current video is hey guys I'm going to start making lots of videos

that is not oh there needs to be like a straw poll maybe on like the PKA reddit and you know have you ever watched Iron Chef or whatever where they're like and your secret ingredient is halibut head and they're like oh fuck I gotta figure this out they're like, and your secret ingredient is... halibut head. And they're like, oh, fuck, I gotta figure this out. Like, we need to have a secret ingredient

that is realistic, guys. Something that we can get. It's not gonna be hot sauce? No, the hot sauce is the standard that we're all using. We have to incorporate something else into it. Oh, I see. So the known factor is that we're making a hot wing

dish with Hot Wings of Redemption hot sauce, and then there will be a mystery ingredient to boot. There will be a mystery ingredient that we have to implement as we see fit. Ah. Yes. I don't know what I'm going to do with Halibut Head. Well, hopefully that's not what they vote on because I don't know where to get one of those. They are going to vote on something you –

whatever wins on that PKA subreddit will be something that tortures us. Can you guys use some of those truffle mushrooms that are like $6,000 an ounce? There's that option? Or it's like, hey, can you use like, I can't even think of anything that's even reasonable to say. But something that's gross. Something that's a caviar or worse. Like a sardine chicken wing. Yeah.

You're like, hey, instead of a chicken wing, why don't you make a hot sardine of redemption? This is going to be fun. Have you ever seen those canned fish? Like those tiny little... I've seen them. I've seen them. Yeah.

I bought some once like four years ago because I saw them, and I was like, you know, this can't be that bad. They've been around for this long. People are still – like in every grocery store I go to, there's a whole section of canned little sardine fish. Like maybe I'll try a little bit of this filet. It was like two bucks, and I bought it, and I went home. And I guess I probably should have mixed something with it

because it was in this nasty, tepid seawater essentially and I tried a couple of the little, well one of the fillets. I won't say I ate more than one because I ate one and threw them away. It was horrific. It was one of the nastiest things I've ever had in my life and apparently all these Swedish people just eat that shit for fun. New topic?

Just closing that one out, I definitely want to do a video. I definitely want us to do videos. And I think it'd be funny to see the different styles of videos we make because I've got a very specific thing that I want to do with mine. And I think it's going to be short. I think mine's going to be like two minutes long. But I think it's going to be fun.

I'm looking forward to that. Mine might be short. Ad money's shitty in January anyway. Oh, you know, this isn't the topic I was going to but I shaved which is a bummer because I see Kyle's got more of a beard than he has in the last month to the show I could have

really continued on with the bearded age of PKA I just use a beard trimmer and put it on like two or something and whenever it starts getting itchy I just go over beard trimmer and put it on like two or something. And whenever it starts getting itchy, I just go over everything. I wasn't digging the beard as much as I did. Like I kind of like the sides of it and it was fun. But the mustache part, I started trimming it.

I wasn't very good at that. And I don't know. But the big thing was I knew I wasn't keeping the beard, right? Jackie doesn't like it. And I feel like you have a certain obligation to do what your partner wants, you know, like, I don't know, try to be what they like in a partner. And I talked to Jackie about it. And she's like, you can keep it if you want, you know, your fans are all getting a kick out of it. And you know, you're having fun with it. I'll back off, you can keep it. And I was like, well, see, here's the thing i'm not keeping it forever so what am

i gonna wait till january 7th when there's no money in the shaving video and then shave it off let's do it on the 28th and that's how it went down and you saw right through that you were like no no no i'm not giving you another bullet to put in your future argument magazine for something to bring up just oh we're gonna have this fight how about that beard that I told you I didn't like? And you apparently don't care enough about what I think. You know, if you turn it into something else, go down that weird path. I just saw him.

Like, dude, I'm either going to shave it, I think I did it December 28th, or I'm going to shave it January 5th. Get the money. So, money whoring it right here. maybe i'll shave in a video on my channel but nobody would give a fuck they'd just be like oh well you know oh they would maybe they would here i don't know i don't know that would just be a resurgence of owl comments again which i saw that on the the subreddit Woody. You were like, so should we start maybe moderating all these?

Check out what this guy looks like. Kyle, right? No, it's a white guy with brown hair. That's, you know, kind of similar. It was about two-thirds stop it with the lookalike posts. And one-third people thought they were funny, which I hate them. They're so stupid. They're stupid.

They're not redundant. Repetitive. That's what I'm going i hate them they're so stupid they're stupid they're so fucking not redundant repetitive that's what i'm going for and they're bad you're not even good at it try harder and like so often picture of uh what's his name we were just talking about it far billy billy bob from for billy bob thornton from fargo a little bit okay a little bit the ones that work on me are not usually like my age group the ones that are if they're my age at all they're like totally insulting like guys 35 pounds heavier than me but also has plaid shorts on they're like look he's woody like fuck you dude that guy's awful um middle-aged white guy with shorts oh that's woody but um i saw one recently it was like hey this is kind of what woody would look like as a teenager and i'm like maybe um but yeah i i think those

posts are silly they're they're just not good content that's my issue with them all of mine are either that guy who's talking uh monsieur lapid it's either that guy or an owl that's that's the that uh you're lucky to have the owl thing because i feel like it's so ridiculous it's not it never hurts right if they were like hey look taylor you look a lot like steve buscemi and that was like the constant drum they kept beating taylor looks like steve buscemi that was all they ever said eventually you'd be like really like i'm way better looking looks like Steve Buscemi. That was all they ever said. Eventually you'd be like, really? I'm way better looking than Steve Buscemi.

It's better than like, hey, I was watching my local news and this convicted rapist looks a lot like Kyle. It's like some creepy fuck on his shoulders. Have you guys seen Making a Murderer on Netflix? Oh my god, it's great.

And so depressing. Kyle, you haven't seen it? Have you guys seen Making a Murderer on Netflix? Oh, my God. It's great. And it's so depressing. Dude. Kyle, you haven't seen it? Have you seen the whole thing? No, but I know the deal. So there's this guy. His name is Steve Avery. And according to the show, whatever, 20 years ago or something like that,

what he did was he ran his cousin off the road. His cousin just happened to be married to a cop. I don't know what you call a police officer in the sheriff's department, like a sheriff's deputy. Deputy, okay. So his cousin, married to a deputy, he ran her off the road.

Apparently she was talking trash about her or something. That's what the show tells you. The show leaves out that he held a gun at her and stuff like that. But then later she got, she was beaten and raped. So they found Steve Avery guilty of that and locked him up. Like 10 years into it, they discovered that he innocent 18 or 18 years he was in jail yes for that well i was still going so 10 years 10 years after he was convicted of rape they discovered he was innocent and kind of buried it and uh eight years later you know the people

working on his side got him released. So 18 years. And by the way, he's totally innocent. Totally innocent. DNA evidence exonerated him. DNA evidence pointed to the right guy. The guy that they didn't lock up committed two more brutal rapes. This guy was not a date raper, and all rape is bad. You sure about that, Woody?

Eh. Going on record and all rape is bad. You sure about that, Woody? Eh. You're going on record that all rape is bad. I'm taking a bold stance that all rape is bad. Yeah, that's the hill he's going to die on, goddammit. But I feel like the variety where you grab a stranger, drag them into the woods, and leave them with broken orbital bones bones and you know that kind of stuff uh is the worst kind of rape and um and that was what this guy did and um or maybe the worst

kind is parental incest i don't know pick your poison what other kind of what other kinds of rape well you know there's the date rape the regretful kind of sort of rape the no no no regret no remorse tell me about the other side of this spectrum let me step back on topic so uh um anyway the guy had two more female of course victims on this thing right so two other women were just you know harmed by this aggressive, beating rapist. And while Steve Avery, on the other hand, was doing the time for his crime. So he gets out. And then there's a woman that he works with, I guess.

The guy owned a salvage yard, or his family owned a salvage yard, which is like a junkyard for cars. The guy owned a salvage yard or his family owned a salvage yard, which is like a junkyard for cars. And this girl from Auto Trader who took photos came, took pictures, and she showed up dead. And there was all kinds of proof that sort of pointed to that the police framed him. And Taylor, maybe you can help me with some of the proof. Like one of the things is they found her key in the guy's bedroom, right? It was in the garage, I believe.

The key was in the bedroom. Or the key was in the bedroom. The bullet was in the garage. The bullet was in the garage. Yeah. So the key was in the bedroom and they were trying to place like the woman in the bedroom. They didn't really have much evidence that the woman was in the bedroom and they were trying to place like the woman in the bedroom they didn't really have much evidence that the woman was in the bedroom and uh um trying to move through

this quickly but the key there was all sorts of funny stuff on it and like for example um his dna was on the key that the supposed murderer but the woman's dna was not on the key which is really weird like it wasn't found right away either like it was found so much later like here was the thing like they went through the whole house checked everything tore it apart couldn't find any evidence at all uh four times one of the yeah four times like a couple months later on like march 1st and 2nd or something uh they decided to reopen it and they reopened the the crime scene on the second on the first one of the lieutenants uh because there's always a sign in sign out sheet for crime scenes where even if it's not active you still have to sign in and sign out and there was no sign in date for this lieutenant uh or sergeant or whatever

but there was a sign out time and it was only after he has had visited again like weeks weeks later that they came back checked and suddenly it was like oh my god like we found this stuff now that's really obvious that you know how did this forensic team miss it when it's like no you like that guy clearly planted this evidence to try and get this moving one of the things about the key i have to try and move along quicker is it had his dna on it but not hers so the assumption is it's been wiped clean and then is it had his dna on it but not hers so the assumption is it's been wiped clean and then they like planted his dna on it somehow which isn't hard to do i didn't realize how easily they could get dna but like yeah i didn't either yeah like all sorts of

sweat and stuff um all sorts of things leave dna now his blood was in the car right that's pretty telling right his blood's in the car that's a problem but later they find that they took blood from the guy for the first time he was committed and there's a vial of it in evidence well it's been opened like someone sliced it open and whatever like it clearly somebody went in and dealt with that blood recently more the top of the vial had a um like a syringe poke in it yeah like for like for a needle i was gonna say a hypodermic needle i don't know what a needle is really but they took the needle in they got some blood out and then they talked to like the evidence people and the um uh like the people who test blood and things like that and they said we don't do that like that's not what

they would do with it they don't just poke holes and vials and put them back that's not a it's not the standard procedure so someone who doesn't follow normal procedures dealt with that blood. And that would explain how the blood got in the car. Uh, the bullet was under the, uh, the, it was in the garage and they were maintaining that they killed her in the garage. But there was a lot of stuff that kind of like, so if you saw the garage, it was filled with stuff. Picture a million tools, old garden hoses stacked on top of air compressors, and a real mess of a scene.

And it's like a ribcage high mess of stuff, all around all the walls. Disorganized, it's a junkyard but this guy didn't like organize his own tools or anything and she was murdered there supposedly but there was no mist like experts were like dude crime scene forensics experts could not clean all the the blood spray from this scene you know like if you want to clean a scene it's got to be in a clean place but oh and then more than that um to get it off you would have had to bleach the area but since yeah steve they found his dna all over the place like

none of it matched up at all with what they were saying uh the whole you know oh she was shot in the head with this 22 but you know we tested and we found her DNA on it but you know unfortunately the lady who tested the DNA on the bullet was like well I also got my DNA and they're on accident so you know but that just happens sometimes and it's like wait so you mix your own DNA so so that's how easy it is to get DNA on this because you breathed in the same room as it. And yet this has none of his DNA. He was handling this, loading it into a gun purportedly, doing all this and nothing from him.

Like, nothing added up. To bottom line all this, the way that the police described this went down can't be right. Oh, and we didn't even mention this Dennessy guy. No. Yeah, the Dennessy guy is so much more upsetting because he's a young kid and he's clearly like when i first started watching his interviews i'm like all right maybe this kid isn't the you know brightest crown in the box or whatever but as the more you watch it the more it becomes clear that this guy is borderline retarded

like he's he's literally borderline retarded his iq was 70 yeah yeah and that i think like it was 72 and like 70 is the cutoff for mental retardation fucking forrest gump still yeah he was a real gump but without any of the luck the complete opposite he was forrest gump's foil so to speak and so they showed the image of like him sitting there in his class the police are interrogating him without his attorney present i guess they were just detectives interrogating him about this and he didn't know anything about what had happened and they just kind of coerced him into admitting oh yeah we went you know and i was over there with him when he killed her oh yeah we stabbed her we

cut her hair off we did this and that and he was clearly just making things up to try and get out of there like the kid was even like he clearly had no knowledge of what he was saying or what he was doing like he just wanted to leave and he had no understanding of how severe this was like he even said like am i going to be done with this in half an hour like uh no i don't think so why is it school yeah i've got a project due in sixth hour and it's like do you not understand like you're admitting to being culpable in a murder and a rape and you're worried about a project like you're clearly not mentally fit to be you know handling these questions And they just manipulate him. They convince him to lie over and over.

Then they use his false confession to put Avery in jail. His attorney wasn't defending him, right? So the reason that he kept being interrogated without his attorney present is because his attorney was sort of working hand in hand with the police so that his testimony could be used to put steve avery behind bars yeah he wasn't so much a dasty's attorney as he was an additional kind of subversive detective for avery to where like uh they were trying to get his admission again so they sent him to like some dude who was gonna pull more information out of him and the dude like there's film of him sitting there next to this kid like yeah and draw a picture of her being raped right here. And draw a picture of how you guys shot her right here. And the kid's like, I don't know what you want me to do.

Like, that didn't happen. He's like, now, now, now, be honest with me. Draw a picture of how you raped her right here. I don't know how to do that. We didn't do that. Don't lie to me. You've been honest. Draw the picture.

And it's like, and draw it real big so everybody can see. And it's like, holy shit. Like, that's so fucked up to do that to a mentally, you know, handicapped kid. But, man, you got to watch that show, Kyle. It is so upsetting. I had to watch it in, like, parts because I was getting so angry. The thing is, Steve Avery's guilty as fuck. Like, I completely believe it didn't go down like the police said it did.

But they left out a lot of the physical evidence that pointed towards Steve Avery. And the police concocted a story to make the trial more of a slam dunk. But Steve Avery was still guilty, even if he didn't shoot her in the garage, which I don't think he possibly could have because there was no blood spray. I don't think he possibly could have because there was no blood spray. Even if they didn't leave the key in the bedroom, Steve Avery still did it. And this is the evidence that he did it. OK, I happen to have a list here. All right.

So, oh, just just some of the stuff that they left out. Steve Avery's animal cruelty history. He he doused a cat in oil and threw the cat in a bonfire not that that points to that he's a murderer but country fun country fun um that thing about the cousin that we mentioned earlier um he held her at at gunpoint you know and ran her off the road and stuff like that all right building up here um the woman that he killed right her last name was like theresa halbach something like that halbach yeah um he called and specifically requested her again and again and again for several months leading up to the thing it wasn't random that she always kept going out there that's a thing

halbach complained to her boss that she didn't want to go out there. That's a thing. Halback complained to her boss that she didn't want to go out there anymore. She felt unsafe. Avery would come and meet her wearing only a towel, and he had some sort of obsession with Halback. So that's a thing. The day that she went missing, Avery called her three times,

twice with a star 67 number to cover the fact that he was like so she couldn't tell who was calling like like a caller id block all right um the bullet that supposedly the cops planted with his dna on it i'm sorry with her dna on it the victim's vna on it was fired from steve avery's gun that gun hung over his bed for months it It was always, that's where he kept it. He hung that gun over his bed. So there's, Steve Avery's gun killed her. They kind of left that out of the story,

which I thought was- That wouldn't be that hard if they were going the full, like we're going to fabricate this whole crime scene. That wouldn't be the limiting factor to what kept him from doing it. You know how supposedly they um they uh like had bought handcuffs and leg irons and held her down and raped her raped her remember that part of the

thing yeah steve avery had purchased handcuffs and leg irons uh like the kind that they had in the rape so i thought that was thing um let me see oh oh oh so they mentioned in the rape scene. So I thought that was thing. Let me see. Oh, oh, oh. So they mentioned in the trial about the RAV4 in Dassey's illegally obtained statement. Dassey stated that he helped Avery move the RAV4 into the junkyard

and that Avery had lifted the hood and removed the battery cable. Right? Do you remember that? They said Avery did that. And as you're watching it you think that the prosecutor's getting information out of him that he's just inventing like i don't know well they found steve avery's dna on the hood latch um that you know under the rav4 so i thought

that was interesting like there's a lot of and not to mention the stuff that was in there, like her bones were found in a burn pile 20 feet from his house. They sort of left out the stuff that was there. Now, I don't think it happened like the police said it happened, right? I don't think he murdered her in the garage because there was no blood spray. I don't know. I don't think she left the key there, but he really did kill her. It was his gun that killed her. It was his DNA on the hood latch.

They found her car on his property. What kind of gun was it? It was a.22 rifle, I think. Yeah. What kind? That's as much as I know. So you can swap the barrel out on some really easy. It could.

It's just, I don't know with all of this though like all the evidences you gave which i'm not taking aside just devil's advocate like i i don't just from the documentary even watching it i'm like man there's no way this guy's guilty but then i was also thinking like okay well nobody ever makes any documentary without some kind of explicit agenda nobody's ever like hey let's just see how the world's heating up. And if we do influence it that much, it's always like we did not cause any of this or it's like we cause fucking all of it. Like there's no middle ground for documentaries. But all this stuff like DNA on the hood latch, like that could have been replicated.

They could have like grabbed a hair and rubbed it on there, whatever the hell you would do to fake that. Like they could fake like grabbed a hair and rubbed it on there whatever the hell you would do to fake that um like they could fake all these things so it's almost weird to say they they planted the bullet and all this other stuff but then cut short and say well but that other stuff is real the fact that some of it matched though like like the dna was found on the hood latch i i don't know i i want to say before they got the the story out of dennisey now it's like god denisey's giving them details that they didn't know that's matching the physical evidence and stuff like that i uh but the internet is outraged having only seen the documentary which as you mentioned is kind of one-sided but uh if you saw the rest of it you'd be like ah i think the cops framed a guilty man, which is awful, just not as awful as framing an innocent man. I think that Dessie, Dennis, Dassy,

I think he's innocent. Like, I think they really did coerce and trick him into saying things, and maybe he did have a little knowledge of it, and then he just got so bamboozled from it, because as it goes on, you can tell that, like like he's constantly confused by everything everyone is saying to him at every given point his mom will be like well why'd you tell him that if it wasn't true i'm like well it wasn't true but they you

know they got in my head and and uh but how'd you know this well i i don't know like i guess just like i do in school mom right. Right? Yeah. I'm stupid. You're not stupid to me. Well, I'm kind of stupid, but you're not stupid to me. It was funny. One thing I thought was interesting was the split between the reasonably intelligent people and the dumb ones. Avery's family, and that includes Desi, they were morons. Really dumb, dumb people and like i i kind of

i guess i know that some people are smarter than others but i feel like a lot of it is attitude and work and exposure and environment and whatever these people were just fucking a family tree with no limbs in it or something like everyone, they were just dumb dumbs. So that from their grammar to their inability to see the big picture to everything about them, you know, the, when,

when Jay Leno does his like Jay walking thing and he's like, can you find America on a map? And the person after person is confused, but you know, that's bullshit because it's just entertainment and people can find america on a mat these guys are the ones that might struggle with the basic questions they're just idiots idiots and then that made me feel worse for the parents because they seemed so child like just just dumb like you said not like ignorant like difficult the the mom was just so

difficult to understand and the dad was one of those guys who had no control over the volume of his voice at all just like constantly like so you don't think your son did it i don't think i don't i don't think he had anybody to do it like ain't no way you could do that and it's like like i felt so bad for those people because it's like in their head there's a zero percent chance their son did this they're only thinking about him with the best because it's like in their head there's a 0% chance their son did this. They're only thinking about him with the best. And it's like it's ruining their lives whether or not he did it just to have to drag through all this muck. Their explanations were horrible too. Like, all right, all right, Steve did a lot of things.

Like he used to burn the cat and he used to steal stuff. And he'd point guns at other people in the family and run that girl off the road but you know every time he got caught he'd own up and say yeah i did it so this time that he's saying that he didn't murder that girl i know that he always tells the truth about these things and you're like dude no that's that why is his dna all over the place you know like innocence by convictions like innocent by prior convictions was like in their head they were just like well he'd admitted it if he'd done it he did before like you know it was i don't know i felt so seeing them in scenes made me so sad because i've they just weren't willing to believe anything bad about their kid and they

were like that um that that one main character or whatever co-star in idiocracy the guy that just couldn't he's just dumb they were literally that dumb it was i don't bump into people that dumb on a daily basis and it was eye-opening for me to see chimpanzee level intelligence in these people yeah they were or maybe the documentary wanted to push it even more in that direction and anything vaguely you know intelligent or insightful they did have to say they were like no no no we've got a nice narrative here of the the bumpkin parents who are just trying to get the best for their kid and you know you know just put in the stuff where they're they're crying and struggling to compose themselves after another bout with the legal system like if they tried to do that to you

though they just would never get that footage right like there's no scenario where you ever look as dumb as desi did that kid was just just a fool. Oh, I'm only talking about the parents right now. The kid himself, he was beyond the pale dumber than any of them because he actually has mental problems. I feel like his mom was next to him. You're a younger boy. I think you might have a low IQ. You had him tested.

Are you going gump? No, no, no, no. Fargo, Fargo. Alright, so I'm looking at this thing that Chia threw in there. It says Christopher Nolan, maker of the Batman trilogy, is using 65mm film and IMAX to film his first World War II film. And I also saw that the next Star Wars film, which is the anthology film, it's not in the line that we're currently aware of. It's a new breakaway thing called Rogue One.

Also, 70mm film. So maybe this will become a thing. I don't want it to become a thing. I know you do. This is just the, you know, oh man, you can't get great sound quality on digital. You need vinyl, man. You get the real soul of it. This is that same douchey, you can't get great sound quality on digital like you need vinyl man like it's three times

like this is that same douchey i'm artsy you don't understand all right so so before before woody totally right okay so before woody starts talking about how awful the roadshow experience was for him this weekend it's literally three times the resolution it just is that's what it's advertised as. It just is. What you're saying is you don't... I know it has shortcomings and fallbacks. There are issues and times where it's not as good as digital,

like what you were saying earlier with the lighting and all, but it's three times the resolution. There's a reason why the... Look at the people who are championing this thing. They're the makers of some of the best movies out there. Woody Allen uses film. Quentin Tarantino likes to use film.

Christopher Nolan likes to use film. I feel like they know what they're talking about. These are just film nerds who masturbate to their equipment. I could go off on the people. The Star Wars was made on digital. The Avatar was made on digital. Mad Max, I don't even know. Hopefully I didn't pull a bad example out.

I'm not sure what your point is, though. When you're obsessive about something, you're more likely to take a niche route about it and be obsessed with little nitpicky things. Like with guns, you like things that nobody else even knows exist because you're so into it and that's your thing and that's fine. Let me answer this question, though. He said I'm not sure what I'm talking about.

Or he's not sure what I'm talking about. The most visually impressive films that come out are not the film ones. They're the digital ones. Avengers is filmed in digital. And shit, I think Star Wars is a neat example, too. These digital films come out looking better than... Interstellar featured a lot of 70 millimeter film. I don't know.

Star Wars had like one little 70 millimeter section. And don't know um but uh star wars had like one little 70 millimeter section and it looked good but the bulk of it was done on digital dude well the entire next one is i just saw today the road show that was the movie called um the hateful eight the hateful eight it total shit. The look of it was shit. So, Kyle actually likes all the defects. Like when, you know, like one little frame is like a cigar burn. I only saw two, and it was just a little fuzzy thing. Just, it was like, oh, there was a thing.

It was more like a shooting star than a regular occurrence. Our whole, you could really see it in text more than like the movie itself but they all kind of vibrated and i even talked to the guy next to me he was a pk fan i was like you know do you think they did that on purpose and he's like i'm not sure i don't think so we'll know more when if it happens all movie long and it did but it just wasn't as obvious when it was like trees and moving wagons and stuff compared to the text, which you really expect to be framed and still. Our thing, like if you were to take the screen and block it off at like the one third and two thirds mark, there were these vertical lines that were there all movie long, like two pairs of six. And they weren't bad. They didn't ruin the movie or anything. But you look at him and you're like, that's a fucking defect I'm not used to seeing.

That sounds like I didn't have any of this it was not sharp the image was not sharp at all and um um you know even afterwards we discussed like the videography of it like me and the guys i went with and uh the general can and no one thought it was good everyone agreed that like the videography in this film was worse than average. For a film that's billed as great, and we went to see it in 70mm in an IMAX theater, we got the real roadshow experience. It came with the damn handouts and everything. It was a worse than average thing.

Briefly, could this be a projectionist issue? Could they have projected it poorly? Is that a possibility? Yes, it is. But I feel like that is one of the challenges you have in video. You know, like when you watch a Blu-ray on your flat screen TV, there's no projectionist fucking things up. Well, it sounds like what you're saying is, yeah, it's better, but you got to have somebody doing it the right way. That is not what I'm saying. I'm saying it is total shit.

It is absolute fuckery terribleness, and it's only compounded by the fact that they rely on a dead profession of projectionist to make it work. The film itself had fucking... And the dynamic range. We all talked about the dynamic range in it. If you're in the stagecoach and you're filming the people, you can either underexpose the people

and then at least see something out the windows or the windows can be totally blown out and full white. If you go to watch this movie, look out the stagecoach windows and you'll see it's fucking full blown out whiteness like you stared at the sun or something. When you see... All the outdoor shots were terrible. Like they'd show the outhouse. fucking full blown out whiteness like you stared at the sun or something when you see all the

outdoor shots were terrible like they'd show the outhouse um like in a snow field and uh the outhouse is wickedly underexposed it's like a silhouette of just blackness and then you know you can actually see the field or the other option was to show the outhouse but then all the white is blown out digital is much better with this dynamic range. I really think a lot of your issues are because of just the theater you were at or how things went down for you. A recently built IMAX 70mm theater that I heard spent $80,000 on this projector. I mean, I don't know what that has to do with it. They all did.

Every single one of them did. Like if you've got that 70mm projector. I'm just saying. I mean, I got what was what that has to do with it. They all did. Every single one of them did. Like, if you've got that 70 million... I'm just saying, I mean, I got what was supposed to be the premiere experience. And if you go on the internet... Oh, you're being so misleading. You're like, hey, I came there. I came for the big movie. All over the internet.

Everyone is saying it's out of focus. I feel like that's a gross generalization, too. I've seen reports of bad showings. I've seen reports where the film melted. You know, know about that. I feel like that's a gross generalization too. I've seen reports of bad showings. I've seen reports where the film melted. It does that. If it stops, then the light source ignites. The bulb's too hot. Yeah.

I know that it does that. And there's been bad experiences. The artifacts and the cigar burns. The dynamic range sounds like something that's probably present across the board and it's just one of the things with film. But when I saw it, I didn't have any of those jittery issues, like I didn't see it shaking. It was in focus and I thought it was very sharp and I thought the colors looked better than I was traditionally, than I was used to traditionally seeing.

I was impressed. When I remember the... Digital captures color better than film does and digital captures dynamic range it is true that's just not the only thing that it can kind of capture better is resolution but the thing about that is there's dramatic like um i think diminishing returns colors better than digital film shit it seems like they're changing the whole thing for a tiny little gain. Like, they're like, oh, we're going to go back to this kind of

archaic way of doing this. Because you get a little bit, it's like deciding to ride a horse now to save money on gas. It's three times the resolution. It's three times the resolution. That's what it's advertised as. That's what, when you buy your tickets, that's what Tarantino told you? No, that's what Fran Dinko says. No, so here's the deal. The resolution is effectively 12K.

And the top line digital stuff now is, what they do is they use two 4K projectors and put them next to each other. So I don't even know how to translate that into some bigger image. But dual 4K versus 12K, and you can't see the difference. Photographers have known for ages that megapixels are not how you measure the quality of a photograph. Like, that's just, dude, the megapixel wars ended when they hit, like, 12 or 14 megapixels, or megapixels, I think, per picture. Now, if you just continue to do the megapixel race, it doesn't matter. You know, 50, 75 megapixel cameras, no one gives a fuck. They've moved on to, like, how great the autofocus is, how, what the dynamic range on the camera is is a really big deal how it reproduces colors stuff like that

Kyle's doing the megapixel race which was you know it's film over photo not still photos though. Yeah It's I I feel like your digital stuff is even gonna go to 4k and then 8k It and we will't see the difference. You won't see the difference on a handset, no. I had a, my last phone had a 4k display and I couldn't tell the difference because it's like a 5 inch screen. But when you're talking about a 90 foot screen, I feel like you'll notice the difference between 4k and 12k. I just don't want every release of a movie to be some thing now where like I wanted to see Hateful Eight when it came out because I heard like oh it came out

and I was like oh awesome let me see where it's showing oh over at Ronnie's I'll just go over there but it's fucking flooded everywhere here so I can't go to Ronnie's and see it and it's not showing anywhere else and I don't want this to be a limiting factor for movies in the future where it's like

oh we want to do 70mm but we also want a few extra days to bolster our opening weekend numbers. We're going to just release it and select theaters and make it so everybody else has to wait who just wants to see it for real normally. I don't like that waiting period. There's problems with the film process too that are huge. So when you film in digital, they film it and then they sit there and watch it and they film it and they watch it maybe they do two takes and then they watch it and pick the better one and they move on when you film and film you see it the next day like I think they film simultaneously in digital I think well then you don't see what you get like like it but you see

the cut watching the the rough cuts is something they do like the next day before they film and then they have to decide whether they want to do the scene again or not but the thing is you know if you if you're in digital everyone's still in costume all the right people are there the lighting setup is there the audio setup is there you can just do another viewing i think they film simultaneously in digital so they can accomplish what you're talking about though i don't think they literally have to be like, all right, well, we'll know how this looks tomorrow. And, like, walk away with a reveal. Nah, they got a digital, like, I've seen those rigs.

They got lots of lenses, like, filming from, like, with, um. I don't think they do that. I don't want to know what evidence you have. How do they film with 70mm and digital at the same time? Wouldn't, like, the digital version be, like, slight angle off? Yeah, they can't check for focus or anything. I'm not saying they film the digital and the 70mm at the same time? Wouldn't the digital version be like slight angle off? They can't check for focus or anything. I'm not saying that. I'm saying on the camera rigs

I've seen they'll have multiple lenses. They're filming in multiple formats simultaneously sometimes. What about when they film 3D? They've got lots of lenses going on. They've got two going next to each other, right? I've seen a thing where there's three or four lenses of different sizes going on at the same time on a

big frame. They're not filling through all of them at the same time. They're just choosing a lens, right? Like it rotates and you put the right lens in front of the sensor or the film. Well, surely they're not having, I just don't think they're having to take the reel off to get their cuts and know what the basic shot was. That's exactly how that works. And, you know, so when they decide, like, they have to decide whether a cut is good enough, the workflow is just awful. They're like, ah, that sucked.

Everyone get in yesterday's costumes, yesterday's positions, yesterday's set, all that stuff, because the next day they have to literally develop the film. Did the actors complain about that? Apparently the actors in Hful eight were so amazing that every cut was great and it was difficult to choose like every actor nailed every part uh every time is what i'm told and just to clarify because i know you said this before the show you liked the movie it's just the i like the movie the videography was the worst part of it okay yeah i'm the other way around i liked how it looked but i didn't like the movie. The videography was the worst part of it. Okay. Yeah, I'm the other way around. I liked how it looked, but I didn't like the movie very much.

I haven't seen it. I just wanted to be included in the conversation. Yeah, I feel like... I think about 70 millimeters. The guys I was with all agreed. They're like, this was supposed to look good. It looked below average. And more than that, given how much about...

So much of the billing and lead up to this thing was about the videography this is a movie where 90 of it takes place inside a log cabin it's like such a waste of what might have been good if and the outside is snow which as you said kind of makes it difficult on that right yeah it seems like a bad choice to film at 70mm. The inside is a log cabin where it makes no difference. The outside is snow where it does make a difference in a negative way because it has lousy dynamic range. I felt like on the

inside you were getting a wider field of view and seeing more of the cabin. It felt like you were looking at a stage. Since you were in the cabin the whole time, I'm not making an excuse for 70mm being necessary for this film, because I agree. They're inside a cabin the whole time. It would have been, like, I'm trying to think

of a movie that would have been great for it, but, like, remember Cliffhanger? When the whole movie is, like, helicopter shots and Stallone hanging on the side of a fucking mountain? That's the kind of movie I'd like to see in 70mm. But I would be interested to see, to see how much wider it is and how much extra you're seeing because it might make an impact.

I wonder if it'd be hard to do cliffhanger in 70mm. I think we talked about this in PK in a little bit, but to film in 70mm involves a great big heavy camera with a heavy reel and an operator on it and stuff. Whereas the first avengers they would literally take dslrs like three thousand dollar dslrs treat them like disposables and put them in harm's way to get action shots that you would never be able to do in 70 millimeter like part of some of what you saw in avengers the first one was just dslr footage

like the big action scenes the fight at the end, stuff like that. I didn't know that. Yeah, Canon 5 Mark III. That's what I'm trying to say. And they did it because, you know, to them that's cheap, three grand. And they could put it in places where you couldn't put a big film. So anyway, yeah. Taylor, you have a list of movies and shows you like from this year, right?

Yes. Yes, I made a little list. I'm interested. All right. So I did like a, and I want your guys' feedback too, because I did this today of just the best. Did like three and then maybe a runner-up for movies, and the same for tv

games i just put like the only ones i've played this year that i thought were good because i'm not big enough of a gamer anymore to like have a comprehensive list and then i did some letdowns too of shit that uh i thought was going to be incredible and it didn't end up meeting my expectations and nothing on that list like i think sucks it's just i was so excited and it didn't turn out so movies my favorite i had uh in no particular order i had mad max the martian and red army red army i don't know what that is i don't know that one either red army is the movie uh the documentary that released this year about uh the soviet 1980 hockey team or about the whole hockey. Yeah, I did see that.

OK. Yeah. And then about. Yeah, it was on Netflix. Yeah, it was incredible to see like the shit they put those guys through them. And they like come to Canada to play. And they're like, they have apples in store all year round. They're just like blown away by this.

And meanwhile, they go back to Russia and they're just like blown away by this and meanwhile they go back to Russia and they're some of the they're the best hockey players in the world but they can't leave and go play in the NHL because they're like oh you want to leave yeah yeah no we kind of own you you're your product and an item of the state so no you can't leave and go make money in the US and it

was incredible I love that movie you really got to watch it Woody you would really enjoy it oh you did did they go back to lake placid at the end like 25 years later yeah they go back and check it out kyle you should you should see it i've seen you're not a big hockey guy oh i thought i thought one of you said you hadn't seen it no i didn't think i had until you described it to me they have the part where um the coach was crazy hardcore and it seemed like in the summertime when there when there was any ice they were like training with rocks they were like at the beach just moving rocks just yeah they were like we really liked it when it was wintertime so we had fucking ice

rocks in the summertime and like some of the exercises he had him doing he was just this big fat jowly fuck walking around with like his hands behind his back like critiquing these super athletes and they're doing like workouts like when you go to the gym early in a new year and there's people who don't know how to use the machines and they're just like lifting things up in the air for no reason no right and it's like what is this training them to do but they kept winning it was bullshit crossfit it was so all this crazy stuff. Now you heave potato to Igor. Yeah, I liked that. That was good.

I loved The Martian. I thought it was really good. And, you know, I feel like you know how it's going to end going in. But still, I really liked it a lot. I think Mad Max was my favorite movie of the year. It's winning tons of awards. It looks like it might get an Oscar. We'll see.

Definitely some technical Oscars. It didn't bog itself down with things like a plot. It just forged ahead, which was a great change of pace. You don't need that. It's clear who the players are. Nobody likes each other. Let's have them fight it out and drive real fast. That's all that matters.

She turned left. That was the plot. That was the big point she went off course yeah but that's not like i'm not being critical of the plot like i liked like i'm not being sarcastic about it i liked the fact that they just kind of threw the plot aspect out the window it's like there's a bad guy he's got a bunch of water and some kind of pool up there that he releases like once a week like every sunday everybody's got their old hard hats from the old world they fill up. And that was it. And then they just set it in motion and let it happen. The Mad Max?

I loved it. Whenever they were going to remake something, I'm not necessarily always opposed to it, but I'm always hesitant. I always want it to be darker and grittier and more realistic or, and at the same time kind of have an homage to the, uh, the predecessor. And I felt like Mad Max did that so well. Um, there were a lot of practical shots, but the, the, the CGI added on top of it, the layering is incredible. When you see the before

and afters, like they started with great stuff. don't get me wrong, but the stuff they added blends in so well that you don't even notice it. That's what blew me away in Mad Max. It was billed as, look at how great practical effects are. And you're like, okay, wow, this is really impressive. Suddenly I think CGI is ruining Hollywood and it's all about practical effects.

And then later you learn what the befores actually look like think cgi is ruining hollywood and it's all about practical effects and then later you learn how like what the befores actually look like and it was garbage compared to the final product it was the digital part they did so well and for the crashes were practically done i thought those stood out but i thought they were digitally enhanced you know like yeah yeah there's enhancing freddie wong did a video a really good video about it and uh he was like you know cgi is ruining hollywood except it's not and uh mad max which was held up as like the the paragon i think of of practical effects um when you saw

what it was like before and afterwards he talked about what cgi is good at. One of the things CGI is really good at is stuff. If you need to put buildings or rocks or landscape in, CGI kills it. If you need to put, you know, Hollywood hires less or fewer extras than it used to because it's really good at crowds and, like, armies and stuff like that. CGI is not very good at faces. That's a thing. CGI is really good at animals and he had a funny little riff

and he showed this shark flopping around, it might have been Sharknado I'm not sure, and he's like, to me this looks like an amazing shark now, maybe if you got some talking shark to look at it, it would look fake to him because he's used to looking at sharks in the way I am to people, but this is an

amazing shark, and I saw it and I'm like, yeah that looks like a shark to me, he's used to looking at sharks in the way I am to people. This is an amazing shark. I saw it and I'm like, yeah, that looks like a shark to me. It's flapping around on land. Mad Max did what digital does really well but it didn't attempt to recreate faces, which

it's still improving it. Look at The Hobbit where they went completely overboard with it. At least in Mad Max, they're actually in Mad Max. They really are in the desert. They really are in cars. The main characters are okay. Like you mentioned the armies and like, yeah, if there's 30 vehicles, then maybe eight of them are real.

But in the Hobbit, it was like, so is this like five guys in a gigantic blue room right now in their underwear right now and one guy who's not really even there doing a scary voice yeah that's exactly what it is it's he called out the hobbit as an example of bad cgi that gives hollywood a yeah the hobbit is bad of reputation and uh and it was garbage he talked about the physics of it right like you know people just kind of know and i forget and it was garbage he talked about the physics of it right like you know people just kind of know and i forget what it was exactly but there was some giant like maybe it was a dragon crashing into the ground that just had like no impact on

everything he's like i don't know much about dragons crashing into the ground but if something that size landed near me i'd expect everything to kind of rattle or the sand to be shook up but none of that happened to me it was when legolas was um the rock jumping on those rocks was completely weightless now i've apparently like if you're a big reader it's explained in somewhere that those elves are basically fucking weightless no that is lazy nonsense i know i knew someone was going to bring that up because i've read that reading through it's like well the elves that's how he was able to walk on the snow on the mountain of Catarthros in the first movie when he was trying to circumvent the minds of Moria. No, that's lazy horse shit.

You can't just go back. That's Harry Potter writing right there. It's Lord of the Rings. This isn't Harry Potter where it's magic. It's just the panacea, just the cure-all for everything. Where it's like, oh, thank God I have my, this kind of lock-opening spell, Harry. Oh, ding, it's open.

Like, this is Lord of the Rings, where magic is, like, more kind of up in the air of, like, you actually fight with it. It's not some, like, magic, you know, oh, thank God that that is decrypted now, which is why I've always liked Lord of the Rings more than Harry Potter. Well, when that happened in the movie, I thought that was so lame. And also in The Hobbit, the scene where he's jumping on the dwarves,

or the dwarves' heads in the river in the barrels, super lame. The water CGI was really bad. And basically every background in the movie, every environment where it's just overly lush, like so green, it's never been this green before, looks like you're in Alice in Wonderland. This really takes you out of the moment. Remember in the two towers when they're running across the planes to go rescue the two hobbits to get kidnapped. They're actually running across some planes somewhere.

And it's very obvious that there are actors in full wardrobe running across some planes somewhere and it's very obvious that that they are actors in full wardrobe running across the plane somewhere but you don't get that in the hobbit you get what looks like a video game peter jackson did a weird thing for the hobbit that he didn't do in the lord of the rings trilogy and that like he got new cameras and everything came out kind of dull somehow so what they they did is they hyped up the set. All the trees are purple. All the actors are blue and this and that so that the real picture looked a little lower. It looked shitty to me.

Instead of adding saturation in post, he added saturation in real life and then adjusted it later. I think a big problem with that movie is that it wasn't i think it started out the direct and the director wasn't peter jackson it was that uh guillermo del toro guy or whatever his name is um probably i didn't know that that and i think he'd been working on the project for like a year maybe two years and then they like threw peter jackson in and he just

had to oh all right we're hobbit Hobbit now. All right. We're making the Hobbit. Okay. Uh, little people, little people. Yeah. In a row,

in a row. Inky binky, Jimmy and Todd. Okay. Sir McKellen, where are you? All right, get out there.

No, fuck your hat. Get out there. We got to like, like he had to rush. That's what Peter Jackson said. Yeah. He said that,

um, with the Lord of the Rings trilogy, he was able to like plan every detail out way in advance. And with Hobbit is, it was already a hot trilogy, he was able to like play in every detail out way in advance. And with Hobbit, it was already a hot potato that he just had to like take over late in the process. I feel worse for him now. And also better for him knowing that he didn't completely fall off the rails as a bad director. Because the biggest thing that made it worse for me is in Lord of the Rings,

like all those, all the makeup, all like the prosthetics, it's all actually them like when lurch shoots boromir at the end of the first movie and you see him like snarling and shit it's like oh fuck like if i saw that in the woods i wouldn't think that's a guy in makeup i'd run away because it's horrifying but these like seeing like that white orc or whatever if i saw that in the woods i wouldn't be frightened i'd be like i'm gonna just go walk right through that that's a hologram kind of like tupac was like that doesn't look at

all have you seen a modern hologram of a human size when in person i have not at the airport in albuquerque new mexico they have a hair uh they have a holographic um sort of flight um airline employee basically like who ushers you along into one of those rat maze lines and when you're looking at this thing from I'm going to say 20 steps you can't tell. You can't fucking tell.

I was looking at it and I knew there was something off and I was just like what the fuck is that? What the fuck is that? I had to approach this thing and I didn't want anybody to see me being like Like marveling at it because but I felt like everybody had the same thought they're like what the fuck is that? It's a good enough marvel at it everybody. I think I'm a goddamn moron Seen that I had never seen a hologram not I had seen like a little one and and and or whatever

But those are just silly with mirrors and shit But this thing was just standing out there ushering you along and it looked like a little one or whatever, but those are just silly with mirrors and shit, but this thing was just standing out there ushering you along and it looked like a real fucking person. Did you put your hand through it or anything? No, I didn't. It was a whole thing and I didn't want to. Again, I didn't want to draw attention

to the fact that I thought it was magic. Look at that rube over there. I thought it was the first caveman to see fire but I didn't want anybody to know it. Right by security, there's a huge line behind you. Woo! Woo! Woo! It's hanging up against it. People are freaking out.

Sir, Mr. Myers? But yeah, holograms are pretty legit now. Oh, last one I had on the list was What We Do in the Shadows. I don't know if you guys saw that. I wanted to put a comedy in there, and it was hilarious. Did you see that, Woody? It's where they're all the zombies, or not zombies.

They're all vampires, and they live together, and they're roommates, and it's like a weird kind of mockumentary comedy. I don't know if this would mesh up with Woody's sense of humor as much, but I know that Kyle would get a kick out of it. It's just like they're all different ages, and some of them have been alive for... It's the story of... It starts off as a documentary where one of them is 800 years old,

and it gives stories of him. He was Vladislav the Poker, and he would poke people and torture them 800 years ago. They had a guy who was 200 years old, and then they had the young buck of the group who was 120 and like he was like the rapscallion young guy and then like it's the story of them getting a new guy introduced to their pack and then they have uh peter who's an 8 000 year old vampire who's so old he can't even function anymore he's just like this old guy who lives in the basement in the catacomb and they just bring him a chicken every so often.

It's so fucking funny. I know people out there have seen it. It's great. I thought it was going to suck when Melissa wanted to go see it but it was great. But you guys haven't seen it. Top three movies of the year. I'm sorry? Top three movies of the year. Let's name them.

I'm struggling here. I've got The Martian as one. I've got Mad Max as one. Mad Max and The Martian are definitely in there. Beast of No Nation, that Netflix movie, that was really fucking good. I haven't seen that one. I feel like my list

is a little pedestrian, but the top of my head is... Was Interstellar this year? No. that was last year i've got mad man i'm sorry i've got martian star wars and hateful eight i think i'm struggling with the third but i definitely like the martian and uh definitely liked uh um mad max thought that was really good. Star Wars was good. I'd probably have to put that in there for me.

Really? I haven't seen it yet, but I've been reading up on it because I don't care because it's already been spoiled for me. It seems like a really sharp distinction between people who really loved it and everybody who fucking hated it.

Isn't that every Star Wars? It could. So are you saying it's basically like the fan or no it can't just be the fanboys who love it because you guys aren't big Star Wars fanboys and you enjoy it. I thought it was a good movie. I thought it was different than other Star Wars movies. It didn't feel like

kiddie crap. It didn't feel like you were pandering to 8 year olds. It didn't feel like kiddie crap. It didn't feel like you were pandering to eight-year-olds. It didn't feel like you were taking a moment to make sure you sold the Speed Racer toys. It felt like there was an adult situation going on that meant bad things for all of mankind or whatever they are out there.

It didn't feel as heavy as it could have been. It could have been even darker and heavier than it was because there's like a whole solar system at one point that gets taken out. Billions and billions of lives. But I thought it was good. I liked it a lot. I liked that there was blood

and that, you talked about it, Woody, and I noticed it in the film, when the blaster hits that stone and there's an explosion. I don't know if that was a regular occurrence in past Star Wars. Like, you're seeing stormtroopers getting blown away and it's not saving private ryan but intergalactic world war two is what i was going to call it like it somehow the other ones just seemed like they were white washed or polished or clean yeah like like it there was nothing gritty about the battle scenes

in the previous star wars it was more video game-y for kids. This new one, you're like, oh my god, that is a horrific battle going on right now. It seemed like the battles in the previous films weren't even the focus of what was going on. It was like, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. Alright, the battle's over. Now here's

what we're actually here to do. The battle wasn't the focus of the scene. It was just something that happened at the very beginning of the scene or the very end of the scene. But there were battle scenes in this. I don't know if that makes any sense. I know there have been plenty of space battles and when they're flying around and stuff,

but I wanted to see like blaster fights, you know, man to human on human, whatever they are. There were combat. There were fights in there where I wasn't sure which side was winning. Whereas I obviously knew in the older Star Wars that they were going to get out of there somehow.

All these main characters were going to be okay. In this one, you're like, oh shit, I don't know who wins this. I was going to say something that might be considered a spoiler. But anyway, it was pretty cool. I like the Star Wars. It's in my top three of the year.

Well, those are the movies. All right. Best, and then Hobbit in there for the worst. One of the worst. Was that this year? Did Five Armies come out? Oh, and Mockingjay is definitely a huge letdown for me. I thought it was very bad.

Very bad. I thought the CGI was terrible. There's a part where they get attacked by these CGI monsters. It's like a humanoid face, but it's mostly just a mouth with no eyes or nose. I don't even know how to describe it. I can't remember what they called it. They called them some kind of... I don't remember what they called it. They called them some kind of...

I don't know what they called them, but they looked terrible. They looked terrible. And they were fighting these things for like five minutes. And again, I go back to the original Lord of the Rings trilogy when they're in the mines of Moria and they had that big fight with the troll and all those

orcs. That shit looked real. That was great. And you're dealing with a 15-foot bad guy, and you've got all these CGI characters running around, climbing on him, hitting him with stuff, and all that looked real and it felt heavy and it

came off great, but what I saw in the Mockingjay sucked. It was so unrealistic. I hated it. I have no interest in that series at all after the first one after all cake boys laying there by the riverbank uh as a master i saw that in fucking theaters and if i bring it up to certain people they'll be like well well he was you know he was quite the decorator he was quite a decorator. He was quite a decorator. He took some fondant and some icing and made himself into an oak tree cake,

and that's how he won. I don't care how good. I'm having a surprise party for my husband. I need you to make a cake that'll blend in perfectly to my kitchen backsplash. And then when he comes home, I'll just pull it out real quick and have the cake. No, that's not going to fucking happen.

Beyond belief, stupid. Just a level like i like movies they're smart when when they're like when they're like ah no no quick grab his gun no don't run away yeah pick up his gun of course pick up his gun like when they when they kind of act like real people and like no shut the fucking window first you know they say things that you would actually do in real life like oh we gotta get out of here yeah we'll get out of here but wipe your fucking fingerprints off the phone and the door handle. What are you doing? We just killed three people. I like it when it's smart and it makes sense,

and I feel like the characters are as smart as I am. And that's not asking too much, I guess, but you gotta at least hit that mark. Yeah, to do common sense things. Like, I never turn around and look at the people behind me in theaters, but when that happened in the theater, like, I gave, like, a look to see if anybody was looking.

I even like, you fucking see that? He's a fucking cake decorator when he's disguised in front of all these murderers. It was just horse shit. Did you see Black Mass? That wasn't horrible, but that was a huge letdown for me. The one with johnny depp you know the uh the promotion for that the uh the the trailer for it is so good that's a really good trailer um but i read the early reviews and stuff and i saw that it was going to be a letdown i haven't seen it but man they the first trailer for that thing i was like oh shit johnny depp about to

win another oscar like he's this looks is the revenant out yet that's one of my letdowns um in theaters i think maybe i'm not sure though i don't know i haven't seen that one but god damn it i was looking so forward to that you might like it chis liked it some people like it i feel like opinions are split on it for me i whatever. Hours worth of limping in the woods. I'm okay with that. If there's... I wouldn't mind that. But it needs to keep me interested.

It depends what it is. Not a lot of twists and turns in that plot. No. I'd like to see kind of an epic journey. I guess the bear fighting, and I'm sure he's survivaling a bit along the way. I thought I saw a part where he ate some raw fish using one of those Indian fish traps or something.

Maybe. There wasn't any Martian moments where you're marveling at his skill. Yeah. That was cool. Yeah. That's all about good writing. That comes right out of in the book i think i think a lot of that that cool science bill nye the survivalist guy stuff came right from the book

though i can't i haven't read it so i won't ruin the plot of the revenant but it's fairly well known this is a really tough guy he's a fur trapper um early on a um a bear attacks him and then the people that he's with don't treat him right and he has to get back on his home on his own that's the the core plot without leaving you know intentionally leaving out some of the other stuff and anyway so the bear attack scene is filmed really well it was pretty impressive and and there were times when i was looking at it thinking that seems really dangerous because pretty sure that's a real fucking bear yeah like isn't he risky even you know he can be trained but not tamed that's what they always tell me that seems

like a real bear yeah how did you do that how'd you you know like the bear's like hurting him and you're like dude like what if the bear like does bite him you know i don't i don't know if they i saw a thing and it was like it was showing like 20 2015 oscars or whatever and it was the bear winning the oscar and leo looking on like mother you know be, like, my line in the sand if I were a professional, like, really fancy actor. Like, I would do some of the crazy, like, own stunt stuff of, like, oh, you gotta, you know, jump out of this helicopter

and, you know, do this and that, like, into the water or something. I would do that. But if they were ever like, yeah, you just have to lay under this bear for just a minute tops, and we'll get all this, you know, then you rotate under it and we'll get all this you know then you rotate under it and we'll get all the the images we need we'll put the rest in in post there's you couldn't fucking pay me enough to do that because i i there's no way that i'm getting that close to an animal because

the trainer guy has no control if shit gets out of hand what is he cannot stop it there's not there's nothing he can do to stop it he He can tranquilize it, I guess, but good luck me surviving while the bear's like, oh, you know, I've been on this drug before. I got a good 30 seconds with this guy's innards before I go down. And if you did die, no one would feel bad for you. Like no one would be on your side about it. Like at least when people die from wild animals and I see it, like the gay guy from The Lion, it's always like, no, you shouldn't have been

fucking with that animal. There's a reason that we have houses and we stay in them and we don't go hang out with wild animals. That's why I build them in Minecraft. There's shit out there. Yeah, do it from a different level. Put something between you and The Lion. So when you mentioned being willing to do

certain stunts for a movie it made me think of this clip. This is an unedited clip from the Twilight Zone movie. Let's start from 10 seconds. Let's just start from 10 seconds. Okay. I'm ready at 10 seconds. I won't be ready for a second.

I'm ready now. All right. won't be ready for a second. I'm ready now. 3, 2, 1, play. The worst thing you could ever see would be three people, and particularly two children, killed right on the film. This is the filming of the movie. And these people are about to all die.

And shown repeatedly at the trial. Oh, shit. Yeah. And these people are about to all die. Oh, shit. Yeah. Wow. All of them died. Mm-hmm. So they all got just decapitated. Just chopped in half, it looked like why it happened you have wow so and jesus christ so there's a guy carrying i guess two kids under his arm yeah and

he's running in the water and there's a helicopter that clearly loses control above them and it spins down and like like when you watch highlights on sports center and you see the bat connect perfectly with the ball one of those blades connects perfectly with the group of them, and they are no more. They're just gone. Yeah. Oh, man. Well, I wouldn't do that scene because...

No tigers, no bears, no choppers. No, but that wouldn't have been the reason. There could be crocs in that water. Dude, that is rough to see. Yeah, thanks for the warning of watch people die imminent. Dude, that is rough to see. Thanks for the warning of watch people die imminent. Yeah, right. I totally thought it was going to be

a Hollywood special effect or something. Some people die. They didn't have it coming, so it's okay to cry. It happened a long time ago, so who knows? They could have died anyway by now yeah they wouldn't have made it anyway especially that older guy those kids though they'd have been around they had a death oh yeah they might have been my age like yeah terrible terrible that that was um that

they say that that the production of that movie was cursed or something i don't think that was the only production accident speaking of production accidents did you see what happened to that poor woman who's the i think she's mila jovovich's stunt double on the Resident Evil films. No, I haven't heard about her. She's kind of popular online. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she's really fit, and she's a stunt woman. Apparently, she's riding a motorcycle, and she hits the boom that's got the camera mounted to it,

and her injuries were grisly. One of her arms was amputated. The other one, the hand, is mangled badly with torn apart fingers and stuff, but her face was degloved. Her face was degloved. Did they put it back? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They put it back on and everything, but I haven't seen any pictures of it. Was it like a little off-center? Like they did did the best sometimes when talking out of the side of your mouth by out of necessity now when things like that happen their faces oftentimes just like their smiles aren't don't match their this is beautiful too it's it's a real game it's awful yeah yeah it's bad she survived but she is and i think maybe she had major injuries i know she lost one arm the others mangled the face thing was just really dramatic what was the nature of the accident again i got the motorcycle yeah she was on the motorcycle driving and i think she i think there was a camera

on like a boom arm or something and she hit the thing the camera was mounted on at speed i'm imagining so yeah so it like hit her like here and it just like peeled the head i have no idea her she had she had really bad injuries it wasn't just like her hands and her face it seems like she had spinal injuries maybe or something some broken bones uh well i bet it's on film somewhere so it'll be in pka next year that's rough well maybe wait a couple years on that one oh and then the next day on the same set the resident same resident evil movie it's the final it's like the last in i believe there's seven or maybe even eight of those movies this is the seventh or eighth something like that

um but a guy was crushed to death um by a by a humvee i think the vehicle rolled over onto him and just smushed him um that also happened. I think that was after the motorcycle thing and a separate incident. Right now, there's this 67-story skyscraper in Dubai on fire, burning down. And they just apparently don't have the facilities, I don't even know if Americaica would to deal with a 67 story fire they're just letting it burn is the whole thing like up in flames i saw it it looked yeah like there's there's fire coming out of the windows like a ton of it at like the 15th story the 40th story the 70 well it's only 67 stories but you know the 60th story etc like that it appears

to be burning top to bottom all over the place i wonder if it's fallen isn't it near the the tallest building in the world those towers yes one thing i learned in reading about this there's no addresses in dubai which i guess is more common throughout the world. You just use landmarks. Like, you know, yeah, what is it? It's near that other building by two doors. That's like what you put on the envelope. I'm not typing that into Amazon and hoping for the best. How do those fuckers get organized? How do you get anything delivered properly?

Someone else was talking about Japan. So in Japan, they numbered the houses on it, like 1, 2, 3, etc. But over time, they add more to the street. But the low numbers on the house are prestigious. So the order on the street might be like 1, 2, 321, 4, like 72, 5. They're not ordered anymore. So for like same day delivery there in Saudi Arabia is it like

yeah yeah you're going to be here soon. There's a woman across the street being whipped for trying to drive just stop right there and come right across the street. It's going to be right there. Yeah you go right past whipping Larry's house of whips. Make a right turn at the government agency

for witchcraft and wizardry if you hit Khalid's Berka Emporium you have gone too far Khalid is not a nice fellow no they really do have a government agency to root out witches and they kill a certain number of people

everywhere they find some witches can you imagine the guy who's in charge of that who knows it's horse shit and he's looking at these quotas like, God, we just got more funding, our witch quota's up. What are we going to do? I want to see a movie starring Nicholas Cage

where he is the leader of the Saudi Arabian government agency for witchcraft. He's been promoted and he doesn't know what to do. That should be his next film. I want to see that. Or even that. Or Will Ferrell.

It's a comedy. He's in charge of witches. The witch hunter. I'm looking at photos of this building burn right now. I think this building could fall. There was no jet fuel present so it seems unlikely yeah well if it fell here in st louis it would be immediately doused scroll down a bit and you'll see it says 10 photos of dubai hotel fire yeah click on that the photos will get larger and then just scroll through dude look at these i i'm a loss for words on this dude this

fire is a problem that's great well there's it's probably not great it's great the word you're searching for yeah yeah that's that's pretty fucking impressive that That's a big fire. Wow. We're going to get to see what happens, too. This isn't going to stop anytime soon. No. Happy New Year's, Dubai. Right? And how are they even going to know what started it in a fire that big?

They probably never will. There were apparently explosions involved in starting this fire. I don't know if anyone thinks that there's... Terror. I'm not seeing that. No one's calling terror. Terror. But terror came to my mind too. I'm not doing it right.

Terrorist. Terror. Terror. Terror. A terror attack. Terror. I think I get terror. T-E and then three R's.

Not four, not two. taking you way too damn long. Did you see the picture of it burning? And then, like, I guess it's in the foreground, so it looks bigger. It's the tallest building in the world. Even taking that into account, it's astounding to look at that burning building and go, that's 67 stories.

And the building to the left isn't even in frame it's so big yeah like you could see that from adjacent countries if that thing caught on fire i think i'm not even joking i bet you could it's an it's massive that's all is that thing let's see let's see is that the i think i've seen um you know when guys will go up and climb that fucker and stand on the tippy tippy top and hold the camera on the selfie stick. They need some base jumpers and stuff. 163 stories. Fuck that.

Wow. Hey, it has an address. One Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid bin Boulevard. One. I like the addition of Boulevard at the end. Went a little wild with that name, but wrapped it all up in the end. So I started watching Fargo.

I know both of you have seen it before, but I just wanted to say, what network does it come on, first of all, if either of you know? But I just wanted to say, I'm really enjoying that, and I think Billy Bob Thornton's villain is one of my favorite villains ever now.

He's top 10. He's great. Just to be clear kyle's on season one one yes yeah so it's currently season two is season two over yet season two is over yeah i finished that up a couple weeks ago it went perhaps now the box set of the blu-ray is out oh maybe maybe i can buy a 50 pound 70 millimeter version. I so would if I could. I so would.

If they had like the DVD version for 1999 and then they have this big spool that weighs 580 pounds. I think I'll start watching the fucking finale and I burn alive in my place. You're asleep and then all of a sudden you can hear Samuel L. Jackson's voice in the back of your head.

Back in the day, films were made out of nitrocellulose. Highly flammable. And you're like, oh shit! And you wake up and your room explodes. Big time YouTuber Kyle Myers found burned alive in his Georgia home after his 70mm production burst into flame

when he fell asleep after watching The Hateful... Oh my god, that would be great. Not if that happened, but if it happened out there. I would love to have one. Those projectors are incredibly expensive, I would say, though. Because I know the film itself, like a spool of film for

a two or three hour movie is apparently very expensive. I literally prefer what I have. I feel like that 70 millimeter thing was less in focus than my downstairs projector is. I'm not going to wake up and hear crackling smoke. Cause my left, my laptop open. Well,

if we had gotten you up there, I bet you could have operated that. You probably, I honestly believe this. I'm not just being facetious. I think you could have gotten up there and gotten that thing in focus and been happy with the showing. That what you need i need professional up i could have done as well as he did i i don't know i've been hearing it's happening a lot so i guess

it's harder than you'd guess you know it does it's probably really hard to do otherwise they wouldn't have like specialists for it right yeah there's specialists for it it's a dead career but you know like you know they're like oh the pimply faced teenager couldn't get it in focus really because i think the pimply faced teenager is the first guy every household goes to when things aren't in focus you know like it when the when the who's more competent at setting up the projector in the classroom the teacher or the av club you know know, it must be hard. Well, I personally hope that the thing catches on more. Obviously, with Nolan making his next massive World War II movie

in 65mm slash IMAX, and with Star Wars Rogue One being filmed in 70mm Ultra Panavision, there's going to be a couple of big film projects coming out in the next couple of years. Maybe, just maybe, they'll find some people who can operate the fucking projectors because I had a delightful experience nice when I watched it I I Hope that I could see myself going to the digital version where it won't be screwed up Yeah, that's where I'm gonna see it. It's like give you free tickets if they do well

I guess they're not in your case, but if they really screw it up they will yeah yeah if they screwed up so much that you they ruin your day then you could get an opportunity for them to try again or a small popcorn next time that's a 50 value i hate the prices there like i'm gonna start smuggling i i swear to god i I told my girlfriend last time I'm like from now on we're smuggling It's a principle thing I never noticed how much that shit cost To be quite honest I just don't pay attention

But this last time we didn't get a bunch of stuff Because I knew it was a long movie and I didn't want to pee Or have to pee So I was like small diet coke It was like $8 or something. Six or $8. That's outrageous.

I'm going to start. I'm sneaking in beverages and I'm thinking about sneaking like a whole meal in like a burger and fries. Fuck it. They had a combo. It was $13 for a large drink and a popcorn. And I was like, I guess I'll do that.

And then he rings me up. It was 15 something. That seems like a lot of tax, like $2 in tax. It did get taxed. I don't know how it went from $13 to $15, but that's what it did. Well, they put salt on it. Okay, $2 worth of salt.

A dollar worth of salt, a dollar worth of butter. You know the boxes that you get at Hardee's with the big burgers? They put it in a little cardboard box. I snuck one of those in in my little hoodie pouch. There's no way they didn't notice, like 16 year old taking tickets like is that guy gonna call you out like oh this guy you know he's got a baconator this is like no no way sometimes they want to search your bag so i went with so these guys wrote me on reddit and they're like hey woody we're gonna go see this hateful eight and 70 millimeter etc do you want to come with us and

i was like yeah you, I'll do it. So after the movie, they wanted to take a selfie with me or a photo with me. Cool. First, we stood in front of this backlit Hateful Eight sign. But because it was backlighting, you couldn't see us. So then I'm like, oh, we'll go inside. We'll look for stuff. It wasn't until we were deep inside that I realized we had snuck into the movie theater and could see anything we wanted.

We just went. People were leaving the theater. We walked to the door. All five of us snuck in, and nobody cared at all. Yeah, because you were so confident in your ignorance of not even realizing. Just walking in, if they see you walking in like that, they're going to be like, well, these people clearly have a reason to be here. They're probably going to see the film.

You've never went in to watch one movie and just stayed to watch a few more? Not exactly. I've done that. So yeah, you go to the earliest showing. Hopefully it's something you want to see. You watch that movie. And as soon as it's over, if you're at a big theater, like a cineplex with like 20 theaters, you can watch two or three movies. Just hang out all day. What I have done is like maybe I wanted to see something rated R, but I'm too young. I'll get a ticket for something I can buy and then just go to the one I want instead. I had plenty of parental guardians who

thought an R-rated feature was right up my alley. My grandma took me to Alien 4. My dad took me to Starship Troopers. Of course, I guess I was 14 at that point or something like that. My parents were down for that too, but not in the theater.

If we wanted to go without parents or something, that's when we'd have to work around the system. I remember I was like 12 and I saw Blue Lagoon. Are you familiar with this movie? Oh, yeah. Brooke Shields is practically pornographic and very much underage. Yeah, and we'd watch stuff like that on VCR in my living room. And my brother and I always had this response to sex scenes and stuff.

I'd be like, ah. And he'd go, pfft. Like, we really dislike seeing naked Brooke Shields. Like, oh, man, this is terrible. Very naked. Yeah. Lots of swimming. She was like, how old was she in that?

12? 14. 14? I don't know. Quite young. She was really young and she looked over 18. Yeah. Well, they had her in those guest Jean ads and she's like, like you said, like 13 or

14, but she has these long legs and she's tall and beautiful and mature looking. She looks like a model at 13 or something. Yeah. Yeah. I think I did a male Monday about that one time the guy said that he was attracted to a girl who was too I think she was like 15 or something you know he's like am I a pedo and I'm like you know you're outside of societal bounds but as far as whether you're a pedo or not I think it depends on the girl you know like it in just in terms of biological drives, if this 15-year-old looks like Brooke Shields did at the time, you're attracted to a woman.

Yeah, and then if you have to get into it, the reason you're attracted to her, I guess, that guy, is because she looks like an attractive woman, like she has a woman figure. He's not looking at a prepubescent 9-year-old and being like, oh, yeah, that's up my alley. Because then you would be a woman figure. He's not looking at a prepubescent nine-year-old and being like, oh yeah, that's up my alley. Because then you would be a pedophile. And if she were, I bet if that guy saw that girl

and she was two years behind, but the same age, just flat, looked like a little boy body, he probably wouldn't be attracted to her. It's the fact that she looks mature that he's attracted to, I would think. I was going to say, we were talking about best TV shows. Definitely the biggest letdown, I think, was F for Frank. Because I was hoping for Rick and Morty level

hilarity. Oh, F is for family? Yeah, I wanted like a Bill Burr family guy or something. I don't know what I was hoping for, but it's not as zany as I would like. It's too rooted. It's too grounded. And it feels like Archie Bunker. i would like it's it's too rooted it's too grounded and it feels like archie bunker you know it feels like all in the family like it like an like a 1970s

style sitcom but like the fact that it's animated is immaterial it seems like like it doesn't really it could be live action and everything could be the same you know what i mean i mean maybe they don't show the guy's balls when he's banging his wife but you could film this thing live action yeah yeah i barely remember injilis balls like just fucking slam that part was pretty funny yeah yeah that was a little shit they should work something like that in every episode like if you can show balls on on netflix animation i guess you can i agree with you i wrote that down as one of my letdowns because it's like I'll still watch it. It's not a bad show. It's just at no point throughout watching it was I like uproariously like cracking up,

like losing it, laughing so hard at like a couple of things in Rick and Morty are just fucking hysterical. Yeah. Just laugh. And I'll look at my girl. I'll be like, can you believe that? Do you get the joke? I was like, it's like a it's like a triple layerical. Yeah, I'll pause it and I'll look at my girl and I'll be like, can you believe that? Do you get the joke? I was like, it's like a triple-layered joke.

Yeah. A throwback and a callback at the same time. This is great. Yeah. But F is for family. Just it, I don't know. It feels like they're trying to make it like a super risque show,

but at the same time, they're playing it too safe in a lot of ways. Yeah. It's like, oh, it's real crazy and there's a lot of language, but at the end of the day, it too safe in a lot of ways where it's like oh it's real crazy and there's a lot of language but at the end of the day it's like yeah but you didn't say anything that you know could get you in trouble you didn't take any hard stances on something that you know would get you you know in trouble he's like oh you know women know that women can't be astronauts he joked his daughter it's like yeah well nobody's gonna get pissy

about that like he's his wife yeah he should beat his wife. Yeah, he should. Under the auspice of being offensive, they're trying to be offensive. They're not actually being offensive. Yes. The wife should get out of hand, and he should just fucking give her a black eye. And then that should, you know, maybe afterwards he feels bad and makes some restitution. But he should totally beat up the wife. I think that'd be good.

Or he smacks around his kid with that Tupperware shit. Yeah, he should beat the kids a lot. They should be getting up the wife. I think that'd be good. Or he smacks around his kid with that Tupperware shit. He should beat the kids a lot. They should be getting beatings regularly. I feel like that. That's true. If we're going to do 70s parenting, these kids need some whoopings on the regular. That guy seems like he's the one to do it, too.

He seems like an angry, Irish, violent kind of guy. That annoying little kid with the long black hair is just, you don't get me, Dad. that kid needs like every time the dad comes home that kid should be cowering like an abused dog in the corner because he's just been beaten so many times like you know it's a period piece i use that loosely so like maybe at least you know throw some more stuff that's unpleasant and actually politically incorrect speaking of abusive irish dads i saw chis saying something about possible guests coming out. Are we getting Christopher Titus?

Is he coming on? I think so, yeah. That's awesome. I'm a big fan of him. I'm just as big excited about the... I think it's before that Milo something? Yeah, I'm not as familiar with him at all. I watch his YouTube stuff. He's very articulate, and he's pretty funny, too. Hours worth of stuff

I've seen of him on YouTube just tearing apart feminists if any of you guys have any feminist leanings that you want to go against him you will lose he never loses I look forward to that that sounds very entertaining but Chris Titus I watched his

sitcom on Fox back in the day I've seen I've definitely seen one of his specials and I've seen a one of his specials, and I've seen a bunch of his stuff on Comedy Central, two or three of his stand-up routines. I like him a lot. His whole thing, part of the background of his stuff is always that he had this alcoholic, semi-abusive, definitely verbally abusive, like, crazy father who was this weird influence in his life, and it's interesting to hear him work that into his comedy, how his dad was so overbearing and, I want to say borderline abusive, but just abusive, but how that drove him to work hard and live.

He doesn't seem completely over it either. No! Yeah, he's like, that was bad. That was not the ideal thing to do. It's not, like a lot of people are like, yeah, my parents beat the fuck out of me but i'm better for it no he was like that was not good that was bad parenting you know so yeah that'll be cool to get him on uh see what he's up to i don't know if he's got some upcoming project or something

or what's going on with that but regardless i look forward to talking about we have like three killer guests kicked off for this year's that's pretty and a hot sauce and and some merch um oh merch yeah i'm pretty excited about the direction the merch is taking like i don't know i want a bunch of these dudettes i think it'll be cool yeah yeah we're gonna have our hot sauce gonna have our knives uh all we need to do with the knives is um um we're done with the knives uh kitty's just needs to get us the numbers, I guess. I'll send her the one that we picked out, the aluminum-bladed thing.

So, yeah, we're going to have a bunch of merchandise stuff. And then Taylor's got the merch shop running pretty great over there with all those cool designs. Painkilleralready.net, link in the description. Check it out. Maybe there's something in there that you like. Yeah, the coffee cups are really cool. I like i like the gluten thing i like the uh the cliff hutchinson

thing that's really funny i didn't realize that the tagline was settle for less until the until taylor mentioned it that's one of my favorite parts yeah it looks like a settle comma for less like it looks like like a saul Goodman style piece of shit attorney thing. It's great. Right up Cliff's alley. Oh, Credit Karma? Do you want to do the read? Yes, let me pull that up right here. I moved my...

Moved your thing. Oh, I'll do a joke while you get your thing ready. Are you guys ready for my joke? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Alright. Fuck you all. My jokes are awesome all right go a farmer buys a new young cock as soon as he gets it home the cock rushes and fucks all 150 hens the farmer's impressed at lunch the cock screws all 150 hens again now the farmer starts getting worried the next day he finds the cock fucking the ducks the geese and a lone parrot that evening the farmer starts getting worried the next day he finds the cock fucking the ducks the geese and a lone parrot that evening the farmer finds the cock lying out in the field pale half dead with vultures

circling over its head you horny bastard he tells the cock you deserve this the cock slowly opens one eye points and replies shh don't. I'm waiting for them to land. So it's just a horny rooster that wants all kinds of He fucks anything. And he's trying to trick the vultures into thinking He's a real foul fucker. I liked it

so much I saved it for the show. Yes. Well, maybe Credit Karma will be even funnier. That's right. Our sponsor tonight is Credit Karma. You might need help with your New Year's resolution. You know, you can't go to the gym. Maybe you won't be able to get there. But there's one thing you can do. You can take steps to get your finances in fighting shape.

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I'm a happy customer. You want another terrible joke before we roll into our next? Oh, I'd love one. Yeah. A guy goes into the bank and the clerk says, can I help you, sir? And he replies, yeah, you fucking bitch. I want to open a fucking bank account. Please, sir.

There's no need for cursing. Yo, motherfucker, I just want to open a fucking account. Sir, I'll help you, but watch your language. And the manager comes over. Is there a problem here? Dude says, yeah, motherfucker, I'm trying to open a fucking account sir i'll help you but watch your language and the manager comes over is there a problem here dude says yeah motherfucker i'm trying to open a motherfucking account this motherfucking bitch won't let me sir please don't curse how much are you opening the account with seven million and this bitch ain't helping you uh is the joke that he's black. That's what you made it sound like. No! The joke is that the manager's...

And then this motherfucker came in and he said it. And, like, he just said it. It's gotten more and more stereotypical the longer it went. Oh, the manager was like, this motherfucking bitch ain't helping you. That accent. If you would have kept going, pretty soon it would have been, and then I tell this bitch to open the account in my name.

And then she said she cannot do so. Because you always trend towards indian yeah you get uh asymptotically close to indian while never hitting it anyway so uh tv uh best tv shows of 2015 kyle already hit fargo on the head which i guess he was talking about season one but season two was great too which you'll like that i look forward to it have you guys watched silicon valley i had that on my top three yes i i i really like silicon valley or silicon valley i don't know silicon it's so much funnier than i thought it would be yeah i thought it was going to be a hokey

like nerd blackface like uh big bang theory when i watched it, but it's so much funnier. Now, I watched Silicon Valley, but I think that's different. Is that a porn video? Yeah. Oh, no, no. It's Silicon Valley. It's out in California. So was mine. There was a plumber. A pizza delivery man and a blonde something about a pipe adjustment clear out your pipes yeah so silicon valley is really good maybe even better than silicon

valley i would wager maybe probably funnier i've watched silicon valley like a dozen times now i don't know the silicon i have no idea how Silicon Valley ends I didn't with a blast yeah well played Kyle yes uh yeah you should watch that Kyle it's good um Better Call Saul did you guys like that or were you underwhelmed I really enjoyed it I recently watched it um I went my girlfriend had never seen breaking bad so we watched all of breaking bad and then i was like but wait there's more and uh so we got so we got uh you know better call saul out and i'm currently on i think i finished the first season um i don't know if there is a second season yet finished the first season i liked it i liked it a lot what's your

other one i know you so far i'm lining up with you and I have a feeling your third one's going to be mine. I had Fargo, Silicon Valley, Better Call Saul, and then Making a Murderer as my favorite show slash miniseries. I was going to say... And The Jinx. I want to say Fargo just based on how good season one was, although I feel like I shouldn't include it

having not seen two. Better Call Saul and Rick and Morty was my third uh i'm putting narcos in there definitely as one of mine narcos was amazing so good i didn't see that i still need to get into that you you're both missing out it's it's excellent uh it's um it's as good as sopranos i don't know it's on the same level with the violence very violently you know the rapes and murders and tortures and uh you you sometimes the you stay with the violence. Very violently, the rapes and murders and tortures. Sometimes you stay with the DEA and see their side of things. Sometimes you stay with Pablo, who's

this charismatic billionaire who will offer Columbia to pay off their national debt in exchange for this or that. He literally did these things. To see him like... The first season is excellent, and there's got to be at like the first season is excellent and there's there's got to be at least one more season I think it's 10 parts maybe an hour apart very very good check that out yeah I would have put Rick and Morty in mind if I had remembered but yeah that's got to be my favorite new show Rick and Morty that I discovered relatively recently mine is going to be daredevil number one oh yeah yeah definitely you're in the minority again here i am it was one of the highest rated things in netflix history i think it it may things may have changed but initially like the first

month or two it was the highest rated thing yeah um but it wasn't my cup of tea daredevil's my number one for this year um i rick and morty's really high up there but it's animated and it's it you know there's 22 minute episodes it's kind of hard to compare that to something like fargo which is like 57 minute episodes or something like that um so for me i think my favorite ones of this year that are new to me i won't count fargo because it's just new to me it's not the seasons seasons. But definitely Daredevil, then Narcos is probably my number three. And number two, I don't know. Take your pick with either of those other ones that we just said.

Daredevil. Yeah, Daredevil is great. I feel like it didn't have as big of an effect on you because you watched it so broken up and you couldn't get the momentum of the show. That could could be i watched it with jackie before we went to bed and i'm always like let's do another and she always you know i'm taking the kids to school in the morning i hear my girlfriend and you to to be able to handle my TV consumption. My girlfriend's got this big bottle of caffeine pills next to the bed, and she'll pop

two of those things around 9pm because she knows I'm not going to go to bed until like 2. But she basically goes into a sort of weird narcoleptic state. So I'll be like, one episode will end. We're watching Better Call Saul, let's say. And you know, you can't miss an episode of a show like that.

Or you just really miss a ton of material. You're lost, yeah. Yeah, same thing with Fargo. You miss an episode of Supernatural. It doesn't fucking matter. You're going to pick it up next week. But with this, I can't leave her behind. So I'll be like, baby, I'm about to watch another episode.

You good? You good to watch another one? Yeah. And I go, play? and i go play she's asleep she's asleep like we didn't get to the credits and i don't feel i like nudge her like wake up i'm like it's playing now here we go all right here we go she's literally like go like like like like she's got narcolepsy she'll she'll fall asleep instantly i'll press play it'll get to the thing and like and I don't know.

There'll be a joke or a big funny moment. I'll be like, holy shit. Did you see? Motherfucker. I got to watch this again tomorrow night, don't I? Fuck. Dude, I was watching Hateful Eight today. Last night, I didn't even work late by my standards lately.

It was like four something. Four something. It wasn't five though. So I'm tired and I go to the hateful eight and i wore a jacket it wasn't that cold out but it was rainy so i had like a jacket on and it just kept me so warm and comfortable and i'm watching and like i'm watching the start of the hateful eight and i'm getting into it and i'm really like observing all the like i was especially paying attention to the videography because I had seen the film,

but I hadn't seen it in 70 millimeter. I'm really zoning in on that. Then I can tell that I'm like, you know what, I'm just gonna watch this with my eyes closed for a little bit. Suddenly that seemed like a really good idea. You fell asleep. Well, the intermission came and it was a big surprise like the lights pop on and the

guys I'm with her like well I didn't expect that and in my head I'm like either I expect the lights to turn on apparently because I was out I was totally asleep the intermission pops on and I and no one seemed to notice so I just rolled with it and i could because i had seen the film before you know like i knew that um well i'm gonna ruin the movie you fell asleep in ted too as well oh yeah that was he before you blame the movie for being boring he fell asleep during the credits the opening credits like he fell asleep during a preview for the new vacation movie and didn't wake up until the movie was like a quarter of the way over that's totally true and i wasn't gonna blame it i was just tired i was just snoring oh yeah it was bad and i'm like they were

and they were talking about the movie so i i was like narcoleptic during ted right like i'm out and i come back i'm out and i come back and and like they're talking about credits or like which ones they liked and i'm realizing there's gaps in my memory you know and uh but this and then after the intermittent like during the intermission we're all talking about the movie and stuff and sharing and i'm totally able to keep up with the conversation then i felt i missed most of the second half of the film you know i i just don't know if your judgment of the 70 millimeter I saw a good hour of it

so you're judging it based on one third it got real sharp and vivid during the two thirds you were unconscious I'm sure you weren't watching it through your closing eyelashes then that was the blurriness this movie is fucking awful through your closing eyelashes part of the second that you're like yeah in the

film version there's a fucking snow dragon right remember the part where I was in my underwear at some point of the film there is that dream that I didn't do my homework i'm real stressed about it when you have nightmares how do they manifest themselves is it something like that is it is it the class so here's what i have i'll tell you mine um i'm ineffective in some way i'm not able to get the job done whatever the job that needs doing is like i can't do the thing. Maybe I'm in a fight, like a physical fist fight, and my punches are just so weak.

They're not slow. They're weak. They're so weak that I know better than to even throw them. I'm like, there's no reason to poke this guy with a Q-tip, and that's what a punch is right now. I just can't do it. It's like, I couldn't do that. It wouldn't even happen.

Or I can't pull the trigger. There's a monster coming right at me. There's a Bigfoot, a Gremlin, whatever the hell, Freddy Krueger. And for whatever reason, no matter how hard I try to pull the trigger, it won't pull. And in my dreams, I literally do this. I get both fingers on the trigger and I'm like, like trying to squeeze it as hard as possible and sometimes I can squeeze it just enough that it'll go off but I'm shaking from the intensity so much that I'm very inaccurate like that so it's just like pow and I miss and then the thing sees me now and it's coming that's my nightmare I have a lot of not a lot but I've got a couple reoccurring nightmares

I've told the one that many times where like the house got robbed. And then afterwards I had this thing where a robber would come in. I'd see a silhouette in the doorway and I couldn't scream. I couldn't move like you. I was just ineffective and able to like address it at all. And I had for like a decade, I'd wake up, I'd be all sweaty. And like, it was, it was bad. Another one I have, it's I'm in school like in college i have some class

that i haven't been attending like it fell off my radar as a thing that i had to do and now like it's midterms are past that and i have to catch up to this class and it's like an impossible situation there's all these books i haven't read, all these projects I haven't done. I've had that. Yeah. So it's such a scary dream too when that one's happening. In mine,

like as a little cherry on top to that scenario, it's like time to count credits at like the end of the year. And it's like, oh, and I'm doing the math in my head and I'm like 18, 19,

20, 22. I need 23 credits. Oh no. Oh no. I, I actually needed this bullshit class that I didn't pay. Then, you know, that's like the reason why I haven't been to chemistry all year is because I didn't think I needed chemistry, but now I'm counting and doing the math and I needed this chemistry and I'm like, just, just years behind effectively because I haven't even been in the class and there are projects due and everybody's got

molecules built out of toothpicks and gummy bears styrofoam balls they're over there explaining how this heavy water is interacting with their benzene and they've got all this and I'm just over there like I just got my book and a sheet of paper I brought a bunch of beakers

buy beakers Mr. Myers I'm just over there like, I just got my book and a sheet of paper. I brought a bunch of beakers. Where's the buy beakers, Mr. Myers? You know, I'm trying to like write something. Everyone else is presenting. You've got like crumpled up paper and scotch tape trying to put something together. I have paper and pen and everyone else has like a presentation, you know, and they got partners. And I'm like, where are my partners? Like I never got assigned a partner. Dude, can I be your partner?

Just attach my name to your project yeah you know that's what you yeah that's totally what would happen to i i'm begging my way onto some like to be some third wheel somewhere your way on i'll present it party at my house this weekend i got all the booze you just show up like my nightmares is like like i have lots of different kinds like that obviously but i have a weird thematic one where it's i do something horrible and illegal and the nightmare just starts right after i did it and so it's like oh what have i done like i'll i'll just come to in a nightmare and i'll be in my house and there's like 20 pounds of gold bars labeled to like a bank. And I'll be like, oh my God, how did I get these? Oh my God, I'm so fucked.

How am I going to get rid of these? I can't take these to a pawn shop. I can't just open a bar of gold and expect them to give me money. What was I thinking? I need to get in contact with someone from Mexico to sell these. You call me, you got gold bars. We'll work that out. Yeah, and then there's just like a loud knock at the door or something i'm like oh they already know oh they're on to

me and it's like it'll be that there it's happened before where like i i'll just come to in the dream and there's like three dead people and i have a gun or something like that and it's like fuck what why did i do this why did i do this in the first place they're never gonna believe me that i don't know and it's like i've got a variant i just show up at the worst part it's that i'm guilty i've murdered someone but i got away with it and now i have like a lifetime of oh fuck how long will i get away with this you know like every knock on the door every ups delivery everything all the time like is it will this eventually catch up with me now i've moved on i've got a wife i've got kids like it's over it's buried no one's looking anymore but it's still out there and and this murder could come back at me and like that i have that now and then i'm like all right like just

chill woody chill you didn't actually murder Yeah, I've woken up from the nightmare. And whatever the pressures of the nightmare were, they're still weighing on me when I'm awake. I hate that. I'm sitting there, and it's weighing on me. And I have to be like, wait a minute. I don't have a fucking math test today. Somebody comes in here and tries to ask me about some goddamn geometry. I'll whip their

ass like i'm not putting up with that come on mrs jones i've done your eye i've got that one and then the other part of it i have dreamt that my wife cheated on me and then i wake up and i have a real hard time not holding it against her oh that's great yeah that's hilarious yeah and it's just like i'm i'm just mad and angry and upset and betrayed at my core and she's just like can i make you breakfast you know like it hasn't done anything bizarro jackie wouldn't have made me breakfast sucking strange cock i have one where uh i had one once this't recurring, but that I hit someone in my car, and it's very clear that I killed them. And it was like my fault or something, like I just ran onto a sidewalk for some reason, hit someone, killed them, and I just drive home, scrub the blood as best I can at night off of my car, and I go up and I get in bed and I'm like, oh my god, oh my god, I'm so fucked.

And in the dream I'm in bed, and I fall asleep, and so then when I wake up the next morning or i guess after the dream ends it's just over i'm like oh my i've had it where my first thought is there's no way i got it all off it was night there wasn't enough light i have to go oh thank god oh i didn't i didn't kill anyone last night that was all made up i also don't have five pounds of gold bars up there and it's not people outside like it i've had the opposite too i i had a dream. So I was a kid and I wanted a motocross bike as much as any human has ever wanted anything ever. It was just my burning desire to have a motocross bike. And my parents, well, two issues. They had the money and they wouldn't let me. If hypothetically I had it.

Very integral issue. But I dreamt that I had it and I was so happy. It was everything that I had made it out to be. We used to live a couple of miles from this place called Zellie field. But what was critical is there was like, think of like a quarter sized football field and the edges of it had like this ramp that went up and you could theoretically jump out of it with your motorcycle and i was just doing that it was my place to ride you know i just hit and

errors and stuff crazy and uh i laid in bed for hours resisting waking up because i kind of knew it was a dream and i wanted to stay there that's yeah I should buy a motocross bike. I was about to say. He never got that motocross bike. My wife let me. I talked to her a little while. Remember when we were talking about motorcycles a lot on PKA? And I was like, dude, we should go to like Alaska or something. Do like a big road trip.

My wife was really not a fan of me getting a motorcycle. I have responsibilities and such. But I was like, what if Colin and I got motocross bikes? And she's like, yeah, you guys can do that if you want. Do you yell across the house, Colin! She said yes! I did. Sliding on your

socks. I didn't execute on the idea, but maybe this spring or something we'll pick up a pair and he and I will go ride in places. I bet that'd be fun. I've never ridden one of those, but they look like a lot of fun. I remember my cousin had one when we were younger, and he burnt his calf really badly on the tailpipe,

and that turned me off to the whole idea. Should have had on some pants. Yeah, I was about to say, you've got to buy the gear. If you buy the gear, that helps a lot. A couple of my friends got seriously injured when we were like 12 or something they had uh one of them had a lot of land and their parents bought them like a go-kart but not like a like a powerful go-kart to ride around like off-road go-kart and they were driving i guess turned too quick and the whole thing flipped in the roll cage somehow like one of their arms flew out and got crushed under

a side and the other kid's leg flew out got crushed under the same side and so like the next day at school both of them came in together one with a broken arm one with a broken leg and i was like oh what happened but apparently they were like laying there for like 20 minutes screaming like help oh god one of the guy's dad had to go out there and like he's a wiry guy like not a big guy at all and like the story they tell is that he ran out there and just did that like motherly thing where he just grabbed this thousand pound go-kart was like lifted the whole thing up and then got him to to the hospital but god i never did those things did you hear that sound too? Yeah, there was a Windows 10 like,

that came out of your PC, Taylor, right as you were going. Yeah, it was so perfect. You had like an inhuman kind of. Yeah, it was great. That's exactly what it sounded like too. That accident has happened to both of my children, but the arm. Yeah, they both rolled the go-kart, and they both hurt. Actually, Hope hurt her passenger's arm.

Colin hurt his own. Colin's was just sprained and turned out fine. The passenger, I don't even know. Like, it was just... Ah, she'll be all right. It was ruled broken, and then they, like, saw another doctor, and they said it was just sprained. She's okay in the end, but she might have broken her arm,

and Colin just sprained it. I was really concerned. Woody, I was liking your glasses look before the show. I don't like that you don't have one now. So these are my new glasses. Wow. on now i want to so these are my new glasses wow so it apparently the glasses that they that i originally had um they were these like progressive bifocals and um they just weren't right for me like there's a little spot that was like the right place and as you turn your head it

changed but it was always fuzzy on the sides and the little spot that was perfect was like straight ahead for the left eye but a little of the right on the right eye so i'd like pick an eye that worked well and and i talked to him about it and i i brought in a picture of my computer monitors you guys probably know this like triple monitor setup i have and i'm like dude the sides are fuzzy like it's awful. And in the end, those glasses were worse than not having glasses. So he's like, you know what? What if we did a pair for just the computer, which is where I spend a lot of time?

And it's the same lenses, but we got a new frame. So Taylor, you have glasses. If you look out the sides, is that in focus for you? Like, you mean like out the sides of my glasses or just through the corner of the glass? I'm not sure what the difference is. So like if I look out this gap right here. Oh, not the gap. So right here.

No, it's not in that great of focus, no. Yeah, I feel like if I look straight ahead this is a much better than normal experience as a matter of fact i put salt on my dinner tonight and i was like oh you can still see the salt after it hits the food i that is crazy if i if i look to my like favoring my left eye over here it's really fuzzy but if i look favoring my right eye, I can see decently okay. This is with or without glasses? With glasses. This is your glasses experience. Yeah.

I just wanted to ask because like so straight ahead is great. And if I turn like, well, like over on this monitor is like what the fans see with the red background and everything. background and everything. And I'm looking at the Credit Karma ad and I'm taken aback by how crisp the text is on it, which wouldn't be my normal experience. But if I just look through the side of the lens out to the right, it's not focused like it is straight on. And I don't know what my expectation should be. Put your glasses on the webcam so we can see if it makes any, I don't know if that's how it works. i know if you let somebody else wear your glasses you can kind of see what they're seeing i i'm trying my best to i don't know if this is working or not yeah yeah oh my hand is in the way wow this one is a much oh, it was just out of focus for a second. Yeah, I see some magnification, but...

Oh, and a little bit of... I'm not sure what to call it, but you're not exactly in the same place through the left lens, it looked like. Yeah, that's one of the things that's unusual about my prescription. A little refraction in there. I can't see if it's working.

You have to let me know. Oh, God, I can see your pores. Take it off. I swear it's CRISPR with the lens on. I didn't expect that. Or maybe not. I don't know. You're smaller.

I'll have to go back and watch this. Yeah. One more view, baby. Yeah. That's a first quarter view. Fuck it. Fuck it. What was I going to say? view baby yeah that's a first quarter view fuck it yeah um what was i gonna oh if i was gonna ask um if you've noticed any any if any benefits besides being able to see better do you feel

like you're getting fewer headaches less tension more relaxed anything like that i i do but it's been such a short so we got them today and they're for the monitor and i like so we got them at like lunchtime i also immediately left and saw the hateful eight and then i came home and i just haven't spent the time in this chair today that i normally would have by now but so taylor and i were talking um i guess last night or the night before about possible pka trips and i was saying that like I'm always brainstorming about things that would be fun and I thought

and I later decided it's a lame idea but snow tubing came to mind but all the places that I looked at where you go snow tubing it seems like a really kiddy experience oh no we want someone to get hurt yeah and so I googled extreme snow tubing you know thinking

i'd get something better but what i got was like an extremely kiddie park like they just they just made it nicer so the place i found literally like they cut these avenues in the snow that the so that it's like a water slide on snow now like you can't even go left or right you're just going to go straight through the the valley that they've created for you and then when it's over there's like a heated like moving sidewalk that goes back up the hill that takes you up looks so lame it looked like we do it twice and be like all right let's get the fuck out of here you know it looked terrible because if it was big enough like like you know the half pipes they have for like the

Olympic competition oh yeah that's what I. That's what I'm picturing. I want so much speed that you're like, we better not fall off! Right. I want the jump at the bottom to be one that you might bail out on in advance to avoid injury. You know? Yeah.

I don't want it to be like that. What if at the bottom there's like a pool of water where you have enough speed and you might get to the other side or you might not? Fuck that. What if at the bottom there's like a pool of water where you have enough speed and you might get to the other side, or you might not. Fuck that. We don't want to lose any PKA fans. Ah, we got extras. Little Tommy went in the drink. Yeah, he's not coming out of there alive.

He's got the tube to hang on. That's right, Billy didn't have his scuba gear. That'd be a fun thing to do, like the snow tubing i'd try if you guys can make it here in the next week or so we could uh we could do rafting down highway 55 here and if you look at that slide show it's wow control here it's it's hard to get anywhere. That's pretty crazy, man. Put that on the big screen. Like that whole slideshow, it's... Good Lord. It's quite bad here, but not that.

Yeah, my phone, it gets these weather alerts. It's like, brr, brr, like a horrible sound. I look at it, it's flooding all over. Same. There's a river not far from me. I'll call it two miles, one mile. And I've never seen it that high. But my particular house,

like, it's on top of, like, the hill. It's not really that hilly. But I just look at how much volume would have to fill to impact me, and it's an incredible amount. Yeah. So then I was thinking about the go-karts and then how they compare with everything else

that's possible. I feel like the problem with the go-karts and then how they compare with everything else that's possible. I feel like the problem with the go-karts is this, though. So at Paintball, I feel like we bring, especially if I make a video on FPS to promote, I feel like we'll bring 200 or 300 people tops. But over 200, especially over the course of a two-day weekend. But what happens if we go to, let's say, Daytona, Florida, and go to Billy Bob's Wild Go-Karts,

and 200 fucking people show up, and he's got 20 Go-Karts? It's like, all right, group five, we'll ride with you in six to eight hours. So you can just pop a seat over there and talk to Chiz. Yeah, we need something more conducive to a big group, all being active at once. I really like the Go-kart idea. I like it too, but the scenario I just described I feel like ruins it. Well, I have some counter thoughts on that. I'm happy to hear.

One's immediately wrong. I was going to say go-karting is more expensive. It might be if you book like a day of it. book like a day of it so you know the 200 number we pull in go-karts might become like a 100 number um because of the price paintball is expensive they're dropping at least 100 a person though you're right i didn't think it through um it also cuts off and that they have to be able to drive at least the one the kind i'm thinking of that yeah that'll be 16 to even ride them oh yeah okay so that's what i want to like although if you think about it think back to our paintball events there definitely are children there but i would say the average age is right

around 15 16 i feel like there were a lot of kids there who were towards the end of high school or in college yeah um but i would say a quarter of them probably couldn't drive yet. I would agree with that. Yeah. I don't know. I just really like the go-kart idea. I like it too. I feel like it'd be fun.

And what you said about driving go-karts that would require a driver's license, that interests me. I want tires to be squealing when you go around corners i want a you know it oh shit what he went off the track that ruined his time like i want this to be not stock car aggressive bumping we did one for the i did this painkiller already team building thing we went go-karting i did not know it was going to be scary and i i don't scare that easily like i you know i would happily do skydiving or any heights thing i i you know like i i don't scare that easily i really don't but um were you nervous at all when we went off the big

zip line and when it was raining no oh oh actually uh there was one where i went backwards and that one made me nervous i think it was the last one of the day the the that one's the the big long long one where we have to go up the tower for that yeah and it was raining that one worried me because the rain and i felt like it was going particularly fast and and the winds were below they're like crosswinds that i was a little i was a little scared what i was was i was a little all i wanted was i didn't want to embarrass myself like uh you have to slow yourself down towards the end and it goes so fast that you have to do it right you know and um if you if you don't make it to the end then you have to like turn around and slowly pull yourself in and I didn't want to do that embarrassment. And I didn't. But when I went backwards, I thought that was kind of

frightening. For the go-kart thing, though, almost immediately you realize, whoa, there's no rails on these go-karts. It's based on how well you drive. And they go quick enough. And they warned us in this pre-talk thing. They're like, you hit these walls they flip upside down you can land on the roof and stuff like and i'm like what ever like this guy is clearly full of shit there's no way that that's going to happen with this quarter horsepower no it can happen it really can and some fucker will like hit you in the back and spin you into the walls i am i i that, oh, this is race car driving. I'm going to bring a bunch of bananas with me. I'm going to have turtle shells.

You're all screwed. I'll get a Luigi hat. Give me the dead eyes as I speed past. After one of the races, we had breaks in between. And I thought that that was dumb too. Like, you know, Oh no,

no, I want to, I'm going to want to keep going. No, you're like sweaty. It's work. It's like, you just did something physical when you finished this race car driving

experience. Well, I'd love to do that. Yeah. I think it's a, you need a lot of cars though. And I don't know how long one race takes, like, like five laps, 10 laps love to do that. Yeah. I think it's, you need a lot of cars, though. And I don't know how long one race takes. Like, five laps, ten laps, whatever it is.

If you could service 100 people, you know, in a timely fashion, I think it could work. But I feel like you need to have, like, the place for the day. And it needs to be one of those places that's like Ricky's Go-Karts and Pizza Mart and Arcade or something. Ricky's Go-Karts and Pizza Mart and Arcade or something so that when we're out there driving and the other 80% of the people who are there are not driving, they're either watching us or eating

food or playing video games or some shit like that. Yeah, there's got to be something to keep them occupied so they're not just sitting there like, I wonder when they're going to come around the bend. Yeah, but that's the only thing that pops to my mind that would fit all of our needs for a trip. The fans always have this most awful ideas.

Maybe they'll have a good one this time. This is the place near me. No. I wish I could... So they handle big groups of 20 to 200 plus. Mm. Or smaller groups of 5 to 24. I'm sorry.

I got a menu. Is that what I'm supposed to have? Yeah. I see that they've got a lot of party platter options as well as a buffet option. The wings look delicious. It wasn't a great job of sending you a link. If we bring wings of redemption hot sauce, maybe they'll make them special for us. 100 bottles for five hours. Let's go.

Yeah. So this is indoor. Yeah, and I think they have multiple tracks. I don't know how fast it could be. All racers under the age of 18 must have a waiver signed by a legal guardian. So it must...

Well, they had... This is serious go-karting. They had junior cars for people under 18. The cars we took were the bigger ones. So I guess we'd have to look into it to see how it works. But yeah, there's definitely a waiver. And it's... I thought the place was pretty legit.

I'm not really a go-kart racing expert, but I don't know. I walked away like, this place is pretty amazing. So where is this? It's like an hour from my house, somewhere in North Carolina. In Carolina. Man. Carolina. Man.

Which, it just changes the, the, like, I don't know. It, it could potentially make things much cheaper, right? Like we could have guys staying at my guest,

not fans, but like you guys could stay at my place and we could meet up there and stuff. Like it could be lower budget than say the paintball thing where they put us up in a hotel and get us cars and things like that yeah man this is this almost looks like it's too much like they went too far with the go-karting like you're gonna get hurt yeah i'm up for that i i would love stressful but also fun what are you looking at that made you say that just the fact that it's like everybody's

decked out with like elbow pads and a helmet and like they're actually prepared for the fact that they could be scattered across this warehouse floor from getting a little too much speed on a turn dude i think i wore flame retardant clothing like they give it to you like they put you in like well bring your ghostbusters suit, Kyle. So here's a place. All right, so let's go by miles per hour. So, because I don't know any other way to do it. Here's a place in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. If it's just any Google results.

Once drivers have finished the tour of our Pigeon Forge go-kart track in the GT5s, they're encouraged to try the course again inside one of our RT8 karts. Faster than the GT5s, these karts reach an average speed of up to 40 miles per hour. So this place, they're going 40. That seems pretty quick. That's so much faster than you would think.

Like when you're just in the, and there's no windshield in front of you, speed becomes so much more real. So this place also goes 40, but it's an indoor track. And that's the tricky part of it. Like you can be dumb enough to go 40 into a hairpin and you will crash. You'll hit the side of the track and it will flip you in the air. You want to see a video of someone doing this? Yes.

They got a GoPro on their head. I'll link you up. Is it another surprise? It's a death video. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Kyle, I had to compliment you on your

quick linking. I thought it would be a while before your link came in. Where do you want to start this? It's 13 minutes long. Two minutes in. Hang on. Let me figure out where to start. I'm skipping. Wow, they're going

so slow. Maybe this is lame. Wow, they're going so slow. Maybe this is lame. They're still queuing up. Oh, here it... I'm eight minutes in, and they're going so slow. I'm at just before four minutes. He's stuck in traffic is his issue. Yeah, this is lame.

I apologize. The guy at ten minutes, they're going decently quick but it's not like oh my god be careful quick like it's you know man i wonder what kind of pizza we're gonna have after this quick yeah sliding out and stuff i don't know i don't know it doesn't look that lame to me. I guess we'd have to try it. Where Kyle and I went, there was an outdoor one. Remember we went go-kart racing on that outdoor one? That one was more kid-oriented. Yeah, that was way too slow.

But they had a slick track that I thought was fun where you could drift around all the corners. I don't know. The whole track was slippery it was kind of a variant but this place isn't like that it's more racy that we went to i thought it was pretty cool they're going pretty fast in this one i'll link you to this one if you like skip in to say 15 minutes 16 minutes in kyle's like 16 minutes i feel like we have a pinch copy-paster at play here. Like someone else is doing this so quickly.

It's another Geometry Wars 2. Kyle's being bamboozled. I actually have my keyboard. Usually the keyboard's in the floor, so I'm having to reach and grab it. Yeah, this looks a lot quicker than the last video we watched i i feel like this guy's being really timid i i i want to like push his foot i'm just like go go go every time he goes around a corner yeah you can only hope that though

like there's nothing worse than go-karting and you get the bullshit go-kart where like you watch everybody in front of you and you're like oh not 88 not 88 please don't put me in 88 and then you get out there and the one that's been like shitty the whole time you have to get in and you're just slow and you're more on like a scenic cruise of the concrete you know compound than you are racing it's i will say this at this place it seemed like body weight had a big impact on how good you were. Not how fast it would go, but how fast you could take the turns and stuff. Heather kicked all of our butts. And she weighs, I would estimate, like 95 pounds. 95 pounds.

Yeah, 95, 90, something like that. She's very small. And then the second fastest, I don't know, it kind of bunched up there. I had a developer named Ice. A guy named F fuzzy who couldn't drive but was lighter than us and then me and we all were kind of in that pack and then chiz was the slowest but he i think that was a weight thing too well he was the dk or the bowser so he probably had better power-ups throughout the entire race couldn't accelerate you know and uh and i don't

think it's that chiz's driving skills were so far behind ours i think you know it was just the just heavier being lighter some of these are some of these have six and a half horsepower i'm saying that's what um that's what they do it at the place are you looking at mine the no not yours in particular that it said six and a half horsepower on that website okay so would you guys ever want to do another survival trip or is that yeah sure no no i'm down you want to you want to join me no no i'm not interested in doing that again the discomfort was not worth the money i uh i liked it i i i would do it again i feel like it would be fun like knowing that there's an end to it you know. I don't want to go out there and just hang out indefinitely, but knowing

Friday we're done. It puts a hard cap on it. It's not that bad. If you are that uncomfortable, it's Wednesday night. You go. You go do it then. You go do it then, Taylor. I'm not going without you. I'm not fucking going. You are if you're going.

You go see if Chiz wants to saddle up for another one of those it was not his cup of tea that was not chiz i could tell in the kyle at least was keeping decently high spirits like in the vlog like you were being like funny like well fucking chiz didn't do anything and this and that but chiz when he would sit in front of it he just looked sallow and distraught just like bags under his eyes i'm like this is so fucking stupid he looked like a refugee asshole dragged me out here you know sprained my ankle i'm so sweaty got no cardio like it was so humid it was so humid and i remember in the early discussions about this trip me me and chis having this discussion about that when we should do it.

I had something going on or potentially something going on and it got pushed back like a week or two. Chiz was like, we're pushing this thing back and it's going to be cold. It still hasn't happened. What? I don't know if I

can say it. The Elite Shotgun video. No, haven't done that. That guy's been in Europe. He never came back. He just says he keeps selling shotguns. He's in any case, didn't happen. So the thing got, we kept pushing the thing back, but Chiz's fear was that it was going to be so cold

that we were going to be shivering out in the woods. That's not an issue. When we got out there, it was so hot and humid. That was the biggest thing. If it had been cold, I think if it had been cold weather and we weren't so sweaty and grimy all the time, even after you took a bath, I'd go to the creek and get clean, and I was only clean for like an hour before it was back on me again.

But I feel like if it were cold weather um it would have been a little better it would have been better and i some people might be like oh you'd have been shivering but no we had fire battle box hooked us up with a lot more equipment than i had in my head yeah i had a ton of stuff um and then there was something else i was gonna say oh what i would have really liked would be a bigger lake now i don't think you can get big lake at least not on the east coast a big lake and isolation we can i figured that out uh really there's some islands in lake hartwell uh where you could like get our own fucking island and i mean like an acre or two like you're you're really limited to the lake is your food at that point but i think that could

have been a thing maybe and I think there's some islands off. There's one in particular, like maybe it's called Tybee or I can't think. There's somewhere off the coast of Georgia where you can go off on these islands and there's just no people there. The water source we had

had a disgusting mud bottom that was like sulfur-y. Bubbles came out of it. It was a disgusting mud bottom. That was beaver bubbles came out of it it was a disgusting mud that was beaver shit i i kept wondering why you were bathing over there no there were rocks maybe it was i don't know but um there was it flowed stop it just natural exfoliant look i whenever i'm in an like i don't know anything about anything when we're out there right but but what i thought was happening with our bathing situation and was that you got the beaver dam and then there was like a pool of water afterwards over there and i felt like that the deepest i'm talking about the deepest section

of the water remember where there's leaves down there it's where you pooped and bathed and all that stuff but if you recall your feet would stir up the mucky bottom, right? And it would get really mixed in with the water. And that was the sulfur smell. That was beaver shit. That was just year after year of beaver shit just sinking to the bottom and making a thick layer. I didn't have as much water. I don't think that's what it actually is.

I think it's mud. It's leaves that are broken down by bacteria and stuff not all of that is poo so what would you say five to eight percent beaver shit maybe is that all maybe oh well then in that case yeah well then we're good i think i just spit on you if you're drinking drinking it's eight percent alcohol you know that it's eight percent alcohol if you're bathing in something and it is eight percent shit that's a significant amount of shit like you want that's avoidable so it um i have a lot of wilderness bathing experience but but i basically had to like pray like a muslim if that makes any sense to bathe properly to like get everything i got

on my knees and went completely flat and then had to go all the way forward to to get covered because i was in such shallow water but it was really quick moving water and the bottom was like smooth stone i bathed right before the dam and uh while kyle makes it out to be this big mud pool of whatever it was flowing water too so uh but you stomped around in a little bit then like within 10 seconds the the murky water had moved on and you were in clean water again. But he's the best. I'm the one that did it. Hey, I'm not making fun of the way you bathed because you bathed. I got that on Chiz.

And our cameraman, Patrick, never bathed. Oh, he bathed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He totally did. Yeah. Yeah. He and Kyle did it together. I mean, you can't clean your own back.

Yeah. Not in six inches of water. It's intense. But yeah, I bathed. Yeah. But what I would have really liked would be a deep lake. Something you could actually swim in. Maybe in my dreams, a little 10-foot ledge you jump off of.

Like a spear gun? You could go down. You could call up some of your aquatic friends, spear them, feed us. Now you're talking. That would have really done a lot to lift my spirits if there was a swimmable water source. Yeah, I would have liked that too. I would have loved a nice flowing source of clean, clear water. Imagine if you could drink it even, like if it was some sort of mountain spring flowing

with enough force that you could, like, that would have been a miracle. Yeah, I'm going to stick to Poland spring and the chance that we find a bunch of water that we think is okay to drink. It's fine! And then just you're sipping it. A waterfall would be nice.

You could bathe in the waterfall. Yeah, sure. The biggest problem, the things I didn't like the most, it wasn't really the heat, it was the sweat. It was being sweaty and then like filth would get on the sweat and then the sweat would evaporate leaving a coat of filth. But then you'd get hot immediately as soon as you picked up firewood again. So another layer of sweat would come on and sort of liquefy the filth.

And then more filth would stick to that. And so after a while, you were just so filthy and grimy in all of your crevices and everywhere. And I could feel it just, you know, my hands are filthy. And there's not even any good way to wash your hands. I've got a bar of soap. But then I'm going right back to the beavershit water over there as far as I'm concerned. And then I'm washing up. The filth didn't lower my spirits that much I don't know what did really there were times when I was just I did the heat did some of the hot days

where I just Laid there doing pranks lowered your spirits I felt like though. I was never I never really had my thirst quenched by that water because it was like I was getting liquid, but that's all it was. Sometimes you crack open a nice cold bottle of water, and it's just delicious in a way because you're thirsty. It's just so delicious. You just kill the whole thing. You'll kill a whole 20-ounce or something. But every time I'd fill up that Nalgene bottle and look at it, I was just well this is a little cooler than normal i guess i'll drink it now but it still had a

little bit of a taste that i didn't care for and i didn't enjoy myself didn't give yourself enough amenities while you're out there like i don't think people would have judged you too much if you brought you know a 30 pack of dasani or something you'd be as i think they'd have judged us well you know they would have they wouldn't have judged kyle i feel they judge they they judge this because we got those supplies to cook the chicken i feel like they even judge the chicken and i felt like the chicken i feel like anybody who judges the chicken it just doesn't get the joke like we're we don't care if you think we're manly and we're survivalist, because clearly we're not survivalist. The whole thing is like, hey, we got a mascot and we're going to murder it at the end of the trip and fucking eat it.

Isn't that funny? Like, it's a big joke. That's the whole thing. And it's a meal. Yeah, and it's a meal. The whole thing. And it's a meal. Yeah, and it's a meal. The whole idea was... I was looking at video views and ratings and stuff over time. Because when I shaved, I said dislikes are welcome.

And it's a really disliked video. And I'm like, what other videos? How have they been going? The one where we murdered Henrietta was also heavily disliked. Yeah, a bunch of pussies. They're fine with a McNugget. But that chicken was destined for death we gave it several days of great life

mm-hmm and then would he beat it to death murder video that's the basis of my nightmare afraid they're gonna catch up to my henrietta slaying they're like they're playing the chops in slow motion there's like they're counting the seconds like the lawyer's holding up as a stopwatch like to the jury like showing them how much time has elapsed i tried uh we ate that chick and she's got her dead i have a new topic i don't know if this is interesting to anyone but me, but there's a collegiate swimmer who is trying to complete a 100.

That's four laps. A lap, by the way, is one way across the pool. So down and back is two laps. And he was trying to do four laps without taking a breath, and he drowned and died. Why were there no lifeguards? I don't know. It was a Dartmouth College swimmer.

I don't know how strong their team is. Probably not that strong. Not was a Dartmouth College swimmer. I don't know how strong their team is. Probably not that strong. Not that strong? Barely drowned. You'd think they'd be smarter. That's an Ivy League school. Was this like after practice, in the afternoon kind of, hey, watch this kind of thing?

Or was it like, hey, everyone, gather around? He had just swam 4,000 yards, which to me is a a it depends on how you do it but a pretty heavy day right you know it's not a record or anything but 4 000 yards is a strong day and i heard they were actually motivated by the the base jumping team trying to master the the coveted no parachute jump so he was trying to swim four laps and he drowned there's a collegiate swimmer um he passed out i'm sure he passed out and just drowned and no one was there to to get him out that's my guess yeah oh shit let's see he was scheduled to graduate in 2017 because correct me if i'm wrong you'd be the one to know this. If someone goes under and they inhale water, you can revive them pretty easily, right?

If you know CPR and everything, right? Can you get the water out of them, get them going again? I thought it was harder than that. In the movies, they do it every time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true. So I've never given anybody CPRpr i've had other kinds of first aid cool stuff but not cpr i'm told they almost always die well shit yeah the um so that's the

lifeguards you've given it uh then i'm just going back to my ocean city beach patrol days um but the emt like the people that taught us like whoever teaches the emts would also teach the lifeguards and um those people had like like in their whole career like one or two instances where cpr actually revived somebody but and they had done it a lot more than a guard yeah yeah so what's the point of learning it yeah run. You'll be less likely to get sued. They would have us put on a show, right? Like, if we rescued someone, they're like, these fucking shoobies, they want to see a rescue.

Blow your whistle. Let them know you're working. You know? So it never works. Not that. Hurry, get the leeches, and we can try bloodletting. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure it works sometimes. But one of the issues is this.

A lot of times when people did CPR as a lifeguard, it wasn't drowning. Like that, we were pretty good at stopping. But there'd be heart attacks on the beach behind you. So these are unhealthy people to start with. Oh, yeah. Hey, did you ever find any, like treasure per se but any like watch jewelry like anything like that spending time out on the beach as much as he did um people would give it to the lifeguards like hey would you know would you put like if anyone's looking for their watch we'll

keep it here with you and uh um you know i i my partner would deal with it the guy that i was with most of the time was like two years ahead of me. And I don't know what ever happened. He went to go to the pawn shop. Like if someone was like, hey, did anyone return a watch to you? Then they'd get it. If they didn't,

then I don't really know what happened to that shit. Well, he kept it. Yeah. He didn't return it to the sea. Like he just kept it in the soul. Like in the end of Titanic. He's like, all right, back to the sea like he just kept it like in the end of titan he's like all right back to the ocean with you like he's pawning that shit for weed money he could have given it to his boss you know like oh yeah that's what i'd do as a as a young man who needs money no i'd sell it i've seen those guys at the beach with the uh you know the uh the metal detector

yep yep looking for looking for you know watches jewelry stuff like that who's going to the the beach while this poor fitting jewelry that is just slipping off of you we were such dicks well some people take it off before they swim and like put it in a sneaker or something like that and lose track of it or even just put it on their blanket and and you know it becomes practically invisible just lost in the depth of the sand but um not wearing my jewelry to the we used to throw pennies like you know to give them like pretty much false hits just like take a handful of pennies throw it in the air so it like scatters about it's like i gotta hit oh fucking penny you're not gonna believe, Martha. We hit the mother load. Another thing.

Dude, I've told this story before, but I love it. What a dude you think to do. The boardwalk. So teenagers would put, like in the boardwalk, there'd be a dollar, right? And they'd put a penny between the slots in, not a penny, a dollar through the slots of it. And when you go to reach over and pick it up, of course they pull it down

and then all the kids underneath you start laughing hysterically and you realize that you've been pranked. And I would just never go for it because I saw other people doing it, but like my friends and whatnot. I'd be in front of the arcade, you're prankinging people you know and they do it to this old guy right and he's like in a walker or something just you know coming along real slow and a dollar means something

to him because he's an old guy when woody was a young guy oh a dollar closer to my wife's iron lung and i think i went through the depression i think think he had seen the teenagers pranking each other as he approached. And now they're going to get this old guy because he's going to be way too fucking slow to reach down and get a dollar, right? He just slides his foot across the boardwalk, yanks the dollar out of the guy's hand, picks it up, and he's like, ha, ha, ha. It's like a fucking awesome guy. I was so happy. and the teenagers underneath were like wait what no no they wanted their dollar back and he wasn't having it he just kept the buck and and of course he kept the dollar you know you guys had

bad intentions yeah so I I've never pulled any of these pranks but I always liked the shit dollar videos I know we've talked about the shit dollar before, right? You guys wear shit dollar? Yeah, you take a dollar, you put some shit on it, you put it shit down or fold it onto the shit, put it on the street, and you wait and watch for someone to get shit on

their hands. And to see what they'll do, because there's a few different ways people react to this. Some people grab the shit dollar and hurriedly stuff it into a jean pocket, you know, because you don't want anybody noticing you got that dollar. And all of a sudden you're like, ah, shit. Yeah. Because you just stuff shit into your tight jeans pocket.

But sometimes they'll quickly be like, ah, it's on my hand, and, like, try to wipe it on something. Some of them will try to salvage the shit dollar, which is... It goes without saying, it's one of the most pathetic things you've ever seen done. To see a grown man take a dollar bill that's just covered in human shit sometimes, and try to scrape it onto asphalt

as a cleaning method. You can imagine about how... No! Money's made out of cotton. It's sort of fabric-y in a way. Like he's just rubbing the shit into the dollar basically. He's trying to salvage this thing. They get really angry as you might imagine.

Like, you know, people get fighting mad over a shit dollar. Oh, yeah, nobody wants to touch someone else's shit. Like your own is gross. I don't want to do that. I've seen them use dog shit, and I think that that's probably the nice way to do it is dog shit. But I've also seen human shit used in the shit dollar. You know, the guy's like, all right, I'm in the van here.

I'm going to take it. Yeah, all right, we got our shit. Is there a reason, like, chemically that human shit is worse to use, or is it just emotionally? I think it's the smell. I think it's because we eat nasty things, whereas, like like a dog eats a steady diet of the same weird different shit has different smells right so so so i think i think like for the most part dogs eat the same thing all the time that's why you're like you smell dog shit like i think we all know generally speaking what dog shit smells i definitely know i know what that was the dog

that farted yeah i know what pig shit smells like i know what pig shit smells like. I know what cow shit smells like. And I'm sure it smells that way, among other reasons, because of their diet. But people shit can be any number of awful and different ways. So when it's a person who shits on the dollar, I really... Damn omnivores. Yeah, yeah, lots of stuff. And the kind of person who would do this prank in the first place isn't going to have a healthy, fibrous, solid shit.

They're going to have a soupy, little bits and pieces of undigested, alcoholic, wet shit. They had four shrimp cocktails and a big bag of honey-roasted peanuts the night before. And then they topped it off with some 100% food, and they were good to go. This comes out in a brick. So, like, my 100% food bottle, I put the lid on it and tightened it back.

And then I left it sitting here empty. Well, mostly. It's got some residue. But, like, it's like a drum now. Like, it built up pressure on the inside. So there's some kind of an exothermic reaction going on there. I can't imagine the gases that would be released. Open it and smell it.

Oh, fuck. Yeah, I want to see what it smells like. Come on. Probably just chocolate, right? Probably just rancid. No, absolutely not. No, I think you should give it a good whiff. I'm looking forward to see if they re-up with us

for another week of sponsorship or not. They totally should. Despite last time around how we were a little hard on them, which I think they had those really brutally honest reviews right on their website and I think that we were kind of going with that in mind at the time. I saw a lot of people posting pictures of the food they bought on the subreddit. Yeah, we definitely moved some for them.

Yeah, definitely so. Even if it was just as a prank gift or maybe to poison someone. I don't know. Maybe you needed building materials. You could probably dry it out. You could. Some sort of mortar

yeah stucco while we're talking about pranks uh that same guy that the poop bandit he uh he had another prank in his repertoire is this the story you keep forgetting to tell yeah it was the one i keep forgetting to tell yeah settle in here he is so the way I told you guys like the end, but the way, like the beginning of it, he, we were 17, and so he stayed at school after it closed. It was open until like 8 o'clock because there's sports practices and shit like that. People are walking around. He hid in a bathroom, of course. Just hid in a stall, you know, played with his phone or whatever, sat up on the toilet and just waited

until like what he said was like midnight or 1 a.m just goofing around the school when everybody was gone and uh with him in his backpack in his locker he bought a ton of mighty putty and what mighty putty is it's you can buy it on late night tv or you could and it was like this product where it was like you see you know take a scoop out of here and you seal it on anything and bam it's gonna stay it's gonna fucking stay like there's like they they showed it where uh they had a chain between like two trucks or something and they made a link out of mighty putty and they let it settle and then the two trucks start driving and it's like look at this mighty putty it's not gonna break i've seen that yeah yeah it's it's not gonna fucking break it's like jb weld yes it is so powerful and he took his couple

of tubs of mighty putty and the little spatula it comes with and he went around to almost every door in the school inner and outer and smeared mighty putty into every keyhole every keyhole he smeared mighty putty and let it dry and so the next morning when all the janitors came in to get the school ready to go nobody could get into the school so when we showed up that day for school a couple hours later the front doors to the school had been removed there were no because they had to remove the doors yeah they took the doors off the hinges because they had they had to doors. They had to take them off the hinges. Yeah, they took the doors off the hinges because they had to replace everything. He didn't just put it in the keyhole. You know the crack between the door and then there's a little jam, the door jam. He would smear that whole thing too.

And a couple of the teachers that he didn't like, basically his handler or his wrangler, as we called her, who had to keep an eye on him as he was going around the school every day because he wasn't allowed to walk around unsupervised. He had to have a supervisor. He had a wrangler, and so he just coded every side of the wrangler's door in Mighty Pai, and they had to...

There was so much damage, and somehow they didn't put it together. I know they knew it was him. They knew it was him, but they couldn't peg him. So they had to call him in. No cameras? No, there weren't any cameras in our school at the time. After that guy came in

and stole the computers and cooked his own shit in the kitchen, they put cameras in at our school to prevent any further... There are cameras now. There weren't at the time they learned their lesson i don't think ours had cameras but they had motion detectors so i don't know if he would have got away with it where we were that's hilarious that's such a good way to just ruin

their their shit too because i don't think they can do anything about that if you get it in there good no no he just he just really got off on upsetting people and stressing out authority because it's like imagine being that principal coming in for work he's already got in the back of his head like god oh if that kid shits in another bathroom i'm gonna have a fucking revolt from these janitors and they're not gonna handle it i'm gonna have to be the one scrubbing off ha ha ha any closer yet and shit on the bathroom. God, I hope he just gets it under control. Then he shows up, rubbing his eyes from sleep with his coffee and he tries to stick his key in.

Oh, that's weird. I must have missed. Fuck! Fuck! Can't get into the fucking school because this rabble rouser did it. He also broke the vending machines that way. That dollar slot, he smeared a bunch in there too just so he couldn't put a vending machine

anymore such a piece of shit i was afraid to do that because in the back of my head with a prank like that is all right i might get caught so if i get caught, let's make sure this is something that can be chalked up to boyish hijinks or something like that. He's going all or nothing. He's like, fuck him. If you put a roundup penis on the football field and then they'll charge you for grass seed. You owe us $23.75. There was like $16,000 in damage or something. It could be very expensive.

Yeah. It's so much. He did another thing that he got. I remember a big group of people got called into the office being interrogated because I didn't know until later, but it was like, well, so-and-so and so-and-so and so-and-so and so-and-so report to the office. And it was like, well, what the fuck is this about?

These are the rabble rousers and later we found out that a teacher like went out to go leave for lunch or get something and there were two like big nails leaned up against the back of her wheels so that as soon as she backed out both of her back tires were not like pop but it would the nail would go in and it would you know puncture it and either quickly deflate or slowly deflate. And that was decided that it was a very dangerous thing that she could be like dead on the road or something if that happened. And so there was like a cop or something there to interrogate them and ask them. Never found out it was him. I don't even know if that one was him.

But yeah, that one was even worse than the Mighty Putty, I think, because that could actually get someone hurt instead of... There was a teacher who drove something small. Do you remember what a Chevy Sprint was? I don't know if you guys know that. I can't think of an equivalent car today, but it was tiny. It was a very, very tiny car. I think it was a three-cylinder motor and got like 45 miles to the gallon. It was like a smart car almost, but even less cool.

And what they did, I swear I wasn't involved at all, but like a bunch of guys from the football team didn't like this teacher. So in the parking spot, like there was a parking lot outdoors, they took it and they rotated it sideways so that now he was stuck between the two cars next to him and they were just you know jumping to jumpity jumpity jump until it rotated sideways and they did this to that fucker like all the time until he until they got caught it was like a regular bigger car it was like a regular thing like ah let's get mr mcnally and lock him in his spot again and you have to wait for one of the people next to him to leave first because he was rotating that's so funny uh shitty behavior god we would most of my pranks would take place outside of school because i had gotten in a lot

of trouble at school and it was usually like you know oh you can't get stuck get in trouble again or you're not gonna pass or you can't get in trouble again or you know you you'd only miss five days and like a minor offense was like a two day suspension when i say minor i mean like when i hit the teacher in the head or like um the stink bomb massacre like that time i put stink bombs all over the school like those are each two day suspensions so like you don't have a lot of room to play so we would throw we would go to people's houses after school at night and stuff and egg them or you know throw a big thing of fireworks up on their front doorstep

like a big roll like like like 500 firecrackers go off on your doorstep i'd use a cigarette as a uh like a timer you know you just uh light a cigarette tear the cigarette in half and then stick it onto the fuse and then when it burns down that way you can jog back up the road give yourself a minute before the thing actually goes off be in your car and be leaving I remember we'd be getting right back to the car

and you'd hear pow pow pow pow pow pow and just be like yeah drive away yeah yeah yeah pow, pow, pow, pow, and just be like, yeah. Like as we drive away. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We do that shit all the time.

That same kid told me he did. I never believed him for this one, but there was a teacher that was not liked by anyone, and just one day, like he left after lunch, and it was like, oh, I guess he wasn't feeling well, and like a week later, the poop bandit, that guy told me, I don't know why he, I was always so privy to these things. We weren't good friends. Wait a minute, you weren't the poop bandit that guy told me i don't know why he he i he i was always so privy to these things we're good friends you weren't the poop bandit were you i was not the poop bandit no

these are really ballsy things i'm not the poop bandit um but he told me uh yeah you know the reason that and he talked like that he's like you know the reason mr johnson left last week i was like no mike why did he leave last week he's like i put i put five tabs of acid in his coffee in the teacher's lounge and i was like did you actually put five tabs of acid in his coffee in the teacher's lounge. And I was like, did you actually put a bunch of acid in his coffee? He's like, yeah, man, yeah. My buddy tells him, and I got a bunch of it, and I put it all in his coffee. He was like freaking out, man.

And he left. He had never done a teacher drive him home. And I was like, I didn't know whether to believe him or not, but that is one of the genuinely meanest things that you can do to someone is like as you're like teaching, and're teaching and you point at a kid like, Jesse, shut up. Up, up, up, up. And your arm starts extending towards her.

I feel like this is something that would happen to the alternate universe teacher version of Quibble Cop. Right? Just someone drugs his food. Drugs you. Yeah, he's screwed. Why didn't you get drugged? It was funny. His stories where he was like, and then I got drugged

and I didn't know what to do and I asked him, is there drugs in this? And he said, yes, so I take it. Well, then you didn't get drugs. So what you're saying is you do a lot of drugs. Okay. That's not how his stories were.

Yeah, that's what it sounded like to me. It sounded like it was lost in translation almost. He'd be like, you know, they drugged me. Oh, so they gave you drugs? Yeah, they gave me the drugs and I took them. I was drugged. No. But you knew they were drugs.

Well, I had a pretty good idea. That was, he'd be like, I thought it might have been a pot cookie, so I asked him. They said it wasn't, so I ate it. He was like, I thought it might have been a pot cookie, so I asked him. They said it wasn't, so I ate it. He's like, you know, there's always drugs in my food. So I asked him, are there drugs in my food? He's like, no, but there's always drugs.

So I knew. We brought a big plate of regular cookies to this blowout party. Who likes oatmeal raisin? Fucking nobody. There's drugs in my food. Nobody's eating regular cookies at a big blowout jam. I thought they were snorting powdered sugar, so I had some. Then who knew?

I think there's a little plausible deniability built into the Quibble Cop story. Like, yeah, I just keep getting drugged wherever I go, man. Just getting drugged and raped. That's what happens to me. You could only miss five days of school. At my school, you could miss... Ah, the picture thing again. Let's do the call again real quick. Do it.

All right. Hang that up. Call right here. Hang up on porches. All right. This will square out in a minute. So you're saying you could only miss five days? We could miss 18.

We had nine excused days and nine unexcused days that added up to a total of 18. Per semester or per year? Per year. But the thing was, if you missed 19, it was like a non-negotiable... Oh, well, hang on a moment. You're banned.

So it sounds like you had nine unexcused days, right? That's right. So I think I had more days then in reality. Yeah, I think I had 10 unexcused. And I don't recall what the deal with doctors things were, but in my head it was like as many as you need. Because if you need to go to the doctor, you need to go to the doctor. They're going to make an allowance one way or another.

They had allowances. They had a way to make an allowance one way or another. They had allowances. They had a way to deal with people who were really sick. If you had cystic fibrosis, some kids would get mono and they'd be out for months and they weren't being left behind or anything. But yeah, I would use all 18 days every year. Some employees would be like, yeah, you give me 15 days off a year, but you don't let them carry over. So it's my obligation to use all 15 every year.

I'm supposed to. That's what I get. That's how I treated my sick days at school. I did the same. I got pretty good at writing my – and the same thing with credits before. We've discussed it before. But I got in this position at the end of high school where I didn't need, I was taking four classes a day because that's how many we took, but I only needed three of them.

And, uh, and so the first one was, was in the morning, you know, it was the first period. So I just wouldn't go. I,

I just wouldn't go. I'd drop my sister off at school. Uh, and then I'd leave and I'd go somewhere. I'd go shopping. I'd go to the mall. Uh, I'd go get something to eat.

Sometimes I'd just go back home, go to sleep. I did that for an entire semester. That was great. Something's going on outside my window, but it's midnight. Something like what? I don't know. Is that beer in the trash? Like a burglar?

Is that... Hold on. I don't hear the dogs barking. I don't hear the dogs barking. I don't hear the dogs barking either. It's raining again here. So it's pretty rough where you're at too, like flooding-wise? No, it's nothing like dangerous or dramatic. It's just been wet and raining for like probably 14 out of the last 15 days

or something like that. It seems like almost every day there's rain. And it's been so warm. So unseasonably warm that it's just yucky. The ground is just muck. I figured it out. What is it? The city of Raleigh is having

a fireworks display because it's 2016. Oh, Happy New Year everyone. Except you Taylor because you're next year. No. One more hour. Yes. Happy New Year, Woody. Well, thank you. Happy New Year to you, too, Kyle.

Four minutes into 2016. Wow. The future. I'm looking right into it. Yeah, I see my buddy texting me a little while ago. He's like, Happy New Year's, bro. You going to make some big noise tonight?

Are you going to shoot anything off? How was your 2015? It was okay. I had a pretty good 2015. Yeah? I liked it. Yeah. Yeah, whatever.

How about you? Like, Woody Craft, of course. Yeah, Woody craft is good um it is mostly a good year we had some extended family get sick i haven't talked about it on the show yet but that kind of the tail end of my 2015 uh supremely sucked yeah that's a shame that sucks but yeah it was an interesting year uh looking forward to 2016 which we're in now that's it's crazy how time flies i guess just just seems like just a few it doesn't seem like 10 years ago when it you know when i went in 2006 i remember

2006 so well and what was going on and what I was doing. 2006? Yeah, 10 years ago. Kids born in 2000 are going to be driving. Yeah, that's outrageous. My car was only three 10 years ago. I started high school in 2000. I was in ninth grade. I didn't even have a fucking car.

Well, kind of. Ten years has gone by fast. That's crazy. I'll be 30 in May. 2016 will be an interesting year. Jeez, 30 in May. Yeah. That's a big age.

I guess so. I don't think it's going to weigh on me at all because I'm still a child at heart. And I've got oily skin, so I feel like I'm going to age pretty well. I feel like I'll be looking pretty good for a while longer. And I feel like men get away with that anyway. I feel like you can get kind of a silver fox thing going on well into your 50s and still be getting some. So I'm not too concerned with turning 30 you can just watch fargo season one and see into the

future it's looking bright you know you're gonna look real good took me a while to catch up i got it eventually i uh i think i didn't like turning 30 it wasn't like the end of the world or anything because 30 is still pretty good um a lot of like pro athletes have their best year at 30 you know i know if you go down the line of like ufc champions 30 to 32 you know a lot of them you get it around then um so it didn't seem like the end of the world. Uh, and by the time I should have experience and talent still left. Right. Uh, when I turned 40, I'm 42 right now. People don't know. Yeah. When I turned 40, I guess I had already accepted that. Like I was past my athletic peak. No one has their best years at 39. Anyway, like i'd already come to grips with with the fact that

every year going forward my body would be worse than the one prior to it yeah no more no more upward trend yeah yeah how much can we decrease the downward slope yeah maybe that's a bad way to put it dude deal with it you know like that's a bad way to put it slowly pulled into the pit of doom perhaps if we i'm sorry perhaps if we rephrase it the reality will change yeah if we happy lies yes if you could just phrase it in such a way that things are gonna you know continue to step up all the no no it's fuck i don't see that many differences between like 30 year old me and 25 year old me. I think I think I've definitely aged a little bit.

But as far as like physical fitness or at least physical fitness potential, I feel like I'm pretty close. Like I don't feel like I've dropped off that much. I feel like if I had some athletic thing to do, like if in six months I had to compete in some professional dodgeball tournament, I feel like I could kick it into high gear right now and have like a six-pack and an 8% body fat in six months if I made it my job. The difference I felt at 30 wasn't really compared to 25 so much,

but like if you compared it to like the 17 year old self, then I healed slower. Like if I injured a thing or even worked out too hard, like overtrained at 17, like there almost was no concept of overtraining. You just beat the fuck out of yourself.

And then the next day you're perfect again. At 30, you know, you twist your ankle and instead of it being three days, it's a week and a half. Yeah, my back's been bothering me a bit. I think massage helps a lot with muscle recovery. It was never anything that I've... I've had maybe two massages ever in my life. I mean like professional massages. They're great. I remember both of them like really well. I feel like anyone who can afford to get a professional massage should get one on a regular basis. But I don't practice what I preach.

But I just remember it was so amazing. But I feel like that would help with muscle recovery because whenever I've had it done, and I use one of those rollers like Joe has, one of those things. After leg day, after I've done squats or something, rolling my thighs and the backs of my legs, fronts of my legs, and the sides of my legs, I'll put my full body weight on that roller and maybe have an elbow on the floor or just some fingers on the floor with one hand. I'm going to put as much weight as I can as I roll back and forth to get the lactic acid out

and it's excruciating. Yeah. First of all, rolling on that thing, something of an exercise in itself. It is, like planking a bit. Yeah, yeah. Kind of a core exercise. It's a little yoga-y, you know.

Is it freaking hitting the weights? No, but you're moving and it's painful. It's excruciating. Like I'm usually pretty verbal when i'm doing it like like everybody knows it i'm in there and i'll get to a part where i can feel like the muscle has completely flattened out and i'm like rubbing bone now and i'm just like yeah let's just do nine times eight times seven times and i'm just rolling back and forth because i know i just, I imagine I'm wringing a mop out. And, you know, the liquid in the mop is what's causing me so much pain. And sure enough, the next day, it's dramatic recovery.

Like, normally I would kind of convalesce for three to five days until my legs felt right again. You know, I do squats on Sunday, and by next Saturday, I by next Saturday, I'm almost normal again, but I know I'm doing legs again tomorrow. I'm going right back into this. If I use that roller, I feel like it helps a ton. One thing that I remember the high school football team used to do was cold water submersion after workouts. They would have these barrels of ice water and um most of the guys couldn't take it um but a few of them the ones that would stay in there for several minutes

would always be like yeah it's incredible like they're they're like we go we we do two we do two a days you know two practices in a day um get in that thing stay in there for 15 minutes and it's hell, but the next day I'm good as new again. It's horrible. It is so horrible. You've done it? Yeah. What's so awful? Because it's freezing. Well, I get that much. It's freezing and it's

I hate the feeling of cold. If my shower is a tiny bit too cold I can't even step in it. Until it's almost blisteringly uncomfortable. Do you have have to ventilate yeah where like your chest tightens up it's like a you don't feel like you can get enough like i've never 15 minutes no way like i've like regulated my body in maybe like 40 seconds 50 seconds maybe a minute and it's like fuck this like i'll be sore tomorrow like fuck you i'm not doing this do you hyperventilate um do you hyperventilate when you hit the cold water kyle if it's very cold

i have a really hard time regulating my breathing yeah where you just do like like i'll be breathing so rapidly and so deeply that i have to make sure i don't get any water uh like like into my airway because i could and fucking kill myself right there i saved a guy who did that once yeah my friend we were like 14 or something and he bought this it was wooden but it was clearly a speed boat it was made for like racing it was a one-person speed boat and uh it turns out now we're young and we're dumb like that's just how i was and uh we we like carried the boat in and we we took it to the end of the dock. Because you don't want the motor running too close to the shore where the prop could foul itself or whatever. So we took it to the end of the dock.

And this is his prized possession. He's very excited to have this thing. And we put it in. And the thing was all fucking motor. It was like a little one-person boat boat like smaller than a rowboat with some giant fucking engine on it and it would go like mach one theoretically or no exaggerating anyway we put in the water and start sinking and it's springtime so the ocean's still cold it's the bay but the water's still cold and uh he jumps in as if he's going to save a sinking boat, like swim it back up or something like that.

And the second he hits the water, he starts hyperventilating. And he could swim, but he couldn't swim at that moment. Like he just lost all of his sense about him. He couldn't breathe. And he starts doing this like ineffective flapping thing or whatever. And he's just getting his head above water. flapping thing or whatever and he's he's just getting his head above water and uh i guess being a young douchebag my initial reaction was like lol like lol like you suck at swimming and uh and then i realized that um that he was drowning it was it was nothing of a rescue i just jumped

out and sort of shoved him to the dock where he could grab it and yeah in particular because i don't often jump into cold water but like if the if there's something wrong with the hot water heater it's usually either like the power's gone out or someone's used all the hot water and i have to take a shower now because we have somewhere to be if i have to take a cold shower then i'll just be in there the whole time like... Oh, I hate this. And you're trying to get your head wet, and you have to commit where you get the top part of your head wet, and then you pull back.

So here's what I do. Yeah, exactly like that. So what I do, I get my head wet first. I get in there, and it's wet. And then I get out of the shower, and I'm damp all over, and I go ahead and soap up. Just the soap all over me, so there's soap everywhere.

Now I'm committed. And shampoo in my hair. It's all shampooed up. And then I get ready, and I'm just like, all right, here we go. And I just fucking jump straight into the stream, and I rub as fast as I can. These long strokes.

I'm not like, yeah, let me just wash here a little bit here. I'm just like head to toe, hands going from my ass to my eyes, just trying to get the soap off. And the whole time I'm hyperventilating in this sort of high-pitched... Just breathing, just breathing so fast. I really don't do well with that cold water. I don't know how cold it is. It's 40 degrees, 50 degrees probably. Young Woody

would be very amused at your deficiency. Cold water is the worst. Yeah, I didn't have that issue. I used to go surfing all winter long. Obviously there's a wetsuit and stuff involved, but yeah. Yeah, cold. I won't go swimming in people's pools unless it's heated most of the time. I go ahead and check

it and it's like, ooh, 62, huh? I forgot my forgot my suit well fuck like you know i guess i'll sit outside by by the fire and you don't really get used to it in the shower either like i've jumped in cold pools before and after a while you get acclimated especially if you're swimming or splashing or playing some kind of basketball or whatever in the pool. But that shower is... I've taken maybe five or six cold showers in my life. They've all been dreadful. I remember one in particular. I woke up and there was no hot water. And I was like, Dad, why is there no hot water?

And he's like, oh, the hot water heater's broken. What he didn't say in the same breath was, but I just fixed it. So I'm like, well, I gotta have my shower, you know, I guess I'll, and I go suffer through that awful cold shower I just described, and I get out, and I'm like,

that was awful. He's like, what? I was like, it's a fucking cold shower. I was like, it was awful. I was like, I just soaked up before I got in and just jumped in there and did it as fast. He's like, well, why didn't you wait till the water heated back up I was like you didn't say you fixed it the fuck yeah how do you fix it do you know you wouldn't know probably it's a long time I don't recall um pilot something issue with the pilot light I think at the end it was a gas one at the time yeah I uh I replaced my hot water heater once.

It sucked. I want a continuous flow one next time. We had that in Apex. Yeah, that seems like the way to go. I don't know. I feel like, of course, Kitty's got an enormous one now. I think the one we've got, I don't know how much it is, but it's over 50 gallons for sure. And it might be, it's not a hundred, but it's somewhere in between.

It's huge. It's a big one. Because her tub is, I guess it's the, I don't know, you get three people in there, I'd say. And she fills that motherfucker up with hot water like two or three times a day, I guess. Two or three times? Two, I guess. Two or three

baths a day? Yeah, she likes her baths. She sure does. I haven't taken a bath in a long time, but just as one of those ancillary gifts that you get. You know how you'll get a big Christmas present and then a couple little token gifts too. Melissa got me a couple

of those bath bombs that you put in there and you get all like your skin's so soft that you're nice to touch and everything i got a couple of those that i need to utilize but uh yeah i feel like a bath is it's a good relaxation thing but if you're going to clean yourself there's there's really not a grosser way to do it yeah being in a soup of your own filth i think that's i think that's her thing. I know if she's hurting or aching, she'll get in. She wants to get in the bath for that.

She makes those bath bombs. She does that too. What's her business called on Etsy? One Tree Farm or something? One Tree Hill? One Tree Lane? One Tree Lane, I think. One Tree Lane, maybe? Okay. I like One Tree Farm more.

We had a disaster back in the summit. One Tree Lane, maybe? Okay. Yeah. I like One Tree Farm more. We had a disaster back in the summit. It's not a good farm, but it's ours. I like the concept of bath. It sounds relaxing, but I get instantly bored. I'll sit in there and be like, all right, now what? Yes. That's why I like the hot tub. What I've always enjoyed about when I would get in the hot tub is,

first of all, I get those psychedelic lights down there flashing and going crazy. That's pretty cool. But I like to turn the thing up really hot, uh, really high and, and watch TV, like get a, get an iPad out there or something, but you do need something to do. Yeah. Yeah. I, I, I feel like my laptop across my lap and hoping that I don't drop it is a bad plan. Oh yeah.

Don't do that. It's an awful plan. Do you ever watch people in movies when they're taking baths and like, it'll like pan on them and they're just laying there in the bath? Yeah. I never understood that. How are they not bored to laying there in the bath. I never understood. How are they not bored to fucking tears in the bath?

I can't just sit there and be hot in just that tepid pool. It's uncomfortable. I need to be distracted. If we were to redo our bathroom, some sort of... I don't know what we have. A jacuzzi maybe? But a TV by your feet would be awesome.

Something there. Maybe something that came out of the the whatever furniture houses rising tv yeah yeah sweet nice kitty's always got an ipad with her um i don't know i imagine the water deeper you know that you'd be like uncomfortably holding up an ipad ah iPad? She props it up on a thing. The cover for it also makes a stand, so it's just sitting there. On the hot tub, there's a deck around it, so she kind of sits it up on that deck. I would always bring a towel and a whole bunch of accessories so that I can always dry my hand off and grab my drink or whatever.

Is this an outdoor hot tub we're talking about? Yeah. grab my drink or whatever. Is this an outdoor hot tub we're talking about? Or is it something in her... Yeah. Because her bathroom has a bigger than... It's not a standard tub either. I guess it's...

I don't know if it's a jacuzzi tub or not. I don't know if it has jets. I don't remember. But it might. But yeah, it's a big one. Like I said, it's big enough for two or three people. The hot tub outside is... I think it's five or six chairs, seats carved out, places or whatever.

Probably five. Something like that. I like that thing. I didn't think I'd like it. I thought it would be a waste of time. Right now the control panel is messed up. I can't turn the heat up at all. I can't adjust it.

And we've been struggling to find someone who works on hot tub control panels. That's like one of the issues with a lot of people I know that have a hot tub. They're like oh yeah it was great. Until that one hiccup. At which point we never used it again. I was just about to say that I've never been in someone's hot tub

where there wasn't like some sort of finagling or messing with something to make it work. Where it's like I'm trying to turn it up. Well, you gotta shake it and then hold it down until the light comes on. Just pull the whole screen down. Yeah, yeah, and I hit it real quick. It just doesn't work well.

You gotta be Biff from Back to the Future who can only turn it on himself. You know, the car. Yeah, yeah. Terrible. We never had any issues out of this one until this happened. I mean, little stuff like the filter.

It's like 18 months old, right? I have no idea how old it is. Two to three years, I would guesstimate. Like 20 hot tub years. Yeah, over two years. Something like that, yeah. I'm trying to think. Any politics stuff that's been going on lately?

I don't know. The Sanders thing is interesting. So here's the deal. Like if you go two weeks or three weeks back, Bernie Sanders was accused of looking at data that was only for Hillary Clinton, right? So they're both part of the,

they're both Democrats. They, they think there's like this shared database, but there's supposed to be a firewall that prevents them from accessing each other's stuff. So the thing is, the Democratic National Party seems to be in Hillary's corner. They're supposed to be neutral, right? But the fact that there aren't many debates means that the frontrunner becomes hard to dislodge, and that's Hillary. The fact that the debates they do have are like weekends at

night when nobody watches them. They go up against really tough things like football games. The next one I think is during the playoffs. It competes with a playoff football game. They're really burying Sanders and I think the other guys are Malley, the opportunity to

be seen. They feel like the DNC is just against Bernie Sanders. So anyway, someone on Bernie Sanders' campaign accessed Hillary's stuff. And they're like, you know, sorry about that. They immediately fired her, et cetera. It turns out that this person in the campaign worked for the DNC like this year. Like one might think she was a plant right like they're like where'd we hire her from like we you know she they just recently hired her

and then like step one after they hire her is to embarrass the campaign by making them illegally access this data they immediately shut down uh their can't their their access to the data going forward. And he had to sue to get it back. It didn't take too long. But it almost seems like they put a plant in his campaign. She did something bad. And then that was the excuse they needed to remove his access from this data, which would have sunk his whole thing. Wow.

So Bernie Sanders, on the other hand, he wants a full investigation of how this went. He wants to know everything that went down. Oh, and by the way, he thinks they should investigate everybody's access because he's hinting that Hillary's been doing this all along, that the firewall occasionally keeps dropping. What kind of information is this that they're accessing? I think it's voter data, like people who would be likely to donate, people who would be likely to vote, people who need to be robocalled to, mailed to, etc.

And, you know, people who might be on the fence. It's all the data that they collect and on the voting base. So there's, I guess, Bernie Sanders, interestingly to me, is trying to get like full disclosure on all the access that's happened everywhere and the dnc is like no no no no no no you know what just forget about the whole thing forget about we're sorry that we ever you know gave you a hard time about doing this just let's forget that you hired someone who worked for us first let's not even look into whether hillary's ever done this let's just bury the whole thing like some interesting political drama if it was like direct sabotage though don't you think they would have done a better job

no well yeah maybe you're right a lot of elected officials you're fine yeah now I just don't think that they're that afraid of Bernie to be sabotaging him like I don't it's not that like I think they're directly like, fuck Bernie, as much as they're just like, hey, Hillary, better the devil you know. So we know her. You'd be surprised to go all the way back to Whitewater. Like Nixon didn't need any help. Maybe.

I don't know. I don't see anyone even coming close for the Democrats, getting close to competing with Hillary. I mean, no one's voted yet. I just don't think so. I don't see anyone coming close to the Democrats, getting close to competing with Hillary. I mean, no one's voted yet. I just don't think so. I don't see anyone coming close to Hillary, period. No, probably not. If Trump wins, I think he gets smashed.

I think that Trump will not do well at all. And then behind him is Ted Cruz, who I'm no more impressed with. And then behind them is Rubio, who I think is the strongest of the three. I prefer Rubio to either of those two. And then I don't like Rubio either. But then you've got Hillary over there,

and I just feel like she's head and shoulders more likely to do well in an election than most of the other people we're talking about. Well, yeah, she's already heavily playing the the woman card and that's not going to stop throughout the whole thing. She's going to play that, you know, that's every card in her deck. You know, every question to her is like a third of a second of maybe a response tied into how she's a woman and how the very fact that answering this question as a woman is

revolutionary in its own right. If we all sit down and think about it and now my time's up it is i had no answer but i'm a woman you want to check like i remember they asked like for about her ties to the banking industry like apparently the banking industry and the investment industry has given more to her than to any other candidate in the race and her answer was like hey you know like oh yeah are we getting all our money from goldman socks i i was a woman during 9-11 and that was actually i'm only getting 77 times as much oh next question but she invoked 9-1-1 and the fact that she was a woman and that was her answer to her ties and she got a little heat for it, but faded away. We'll see. I'm just looking forward to it, because I think

it's going to be a real shit show. Sanders seems like the most well-intentioned of all the candidates, and perhaps the most well-intentioned candidate in a very, very long time. But I think he's going to get left by the wayside by the time this thing is over. What if Trump names him as VP, though? How crazy

would that be? Then what happens? Oh, it would be hilarious. Trump-Sanders. There's always a well-intentioned candidate, right? This year it's Bernie Sanders. He's the well-intentioned candidate. I feel like Ron Paul, his dad, I felt like was the well-intentioned candidate

for a couple of cycles. Ron Paul is probably well-intentioned, too. And then way back in the day, Ross Perot is probably well-intentioned to and then like I'm a way back in the day Ross Perot was a well-intentioned candidate like these well-intentioned candidates have a long history of being also Rand's to the evil fucking horn spouting Clinton's and Trump's of the world I would like to see that that would be my my dream ticket I think Trump named Sanders his VP and they go against Hillary and whoever she can Cox that actually might be a race if you could combine the the Trump supporters and the

Sanders supporters somehow I think it'd be better if Sanders put Trump as his VP then Trump would hardly harmlessly be. No. I want some harm. He's not sitting backseat to that old fogey. No. They need to team up to take Hillary down. I'd love to see that. But what's going to be great is when they get to the national stage and you got Clinton going against Trump.

If that happens, that's going to be incredibly entertaining. There's going to be so many good attack ads. Saturday Night Live is going to have a ball. It's going to be oh so many good attack ads saturday night live is going to have a ball it's going to be funny those debates will be gold i can't wait to see because because i can't think of a candidate who takes themselves more seriously than clinton uh and i can't think of a candidate who takes himself less seriously at least as a candidate and as a politician, than Trump. It's going to be great. She can't answer the question. He's going to come out and just be like, I honestly can't believe I'm

still here. Trump's campaign against Hillary is literally, mark my words, he's going to mimic her. He's going to bully and mimic her. Just like, do her motions, he'll make fun of her laugh. He'll mock her and say, I can't believe anyone would vote for her.

She says things like this or does things like that. And he'll make fun of her physical characteristics. It'll be his entire platform. He should bring up Clinton and the 14 women or whatever who accused him. Guaranteed. He's already said he will. Yeah, that should be a big part of it. He should draw comparisons between

Clinton and Cosby. We haven't talked about Cosby yet, by the way, who was arrested and the mugshots out there, the whole thing. Dude, his eyes don't match. Did you see his mugshot? In what way they don't match? I think he has cataracts. Well, he's like 98 years old

or something. Yeah. I've always thought that, you know, they're a little offset. You know, they're not exactly parallel. Let me see if I can find it. He's going to be eating a lot more Jell-O pudding. Oh, yeah. Tapioca. Yeah. Poor guy.

In prison. Oh, poor guy. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, poor guy. Woe is him. Fucking Cosby. One of the most prolific rapists in modern history. Especially

let's look at these eyes. His right eye seems a little cloudy, I guess. Yeah. Man, this has been taking a toll on him. He almost completely eyebrowless at this point yeah even they didn't want to be associated with them anymore dude i did you see that cosby show um the barbecue barbecue sauce oh yeah oh yeah

barbecue sauce oh yeah oh yeah did you when people have my barbecue sauce dude i i got the link i've got the link this is uh wait that one's 118 here's the one i watched before 125 oh it's about the same i'll just grab it because i know it yeah check out cosby's secret barbecue sauce. I'm cute at zero. Are you guys ready? Yeah. Ready, set, play. I love your neck, honey. Well, it certainly is nice to see them work things out for themselves. They haven't worked anything out for themselves. It's my barbecue sauce.

Your barbecue sauce. My barbecue sauce. Haven't you ever noticed after people have some of my barbecue sauce. My barbecue sauce. Haven't you ever noticed after people have some of my barbecue sauce, after a while when it kicks in, they get all huggy-buggy? Oh, stop. I'm dead serious. He's so creepy. Haven't you ever noticed that after one of my barbecues and they have the sauce,

people want to get right home? Let me tell you something else. I got a cup of it up on the night i got a cup of it i said left it up there breathing why don't you give the chicken to these people that's going up and have some sauce? So here's the rest of the chicken, you guys. Dr. Unksmoop, I love this chicken. Hi, Rudy.

You look good, Unksmoop. The one I saw, they added like a distorted effect when he was like, when they start having a little bit of my sauce. It's a lot darker. I wonder if that scene was really inspired by the whole Quaaludes. No. No, it was not. No?

Dude, it's so parallel. So this is what you think. You think the writers are aware of Cosby's sexual abuse. Hey, Bill, you know how you rape all them chicks with the lewds? Hey, hey. Let's work it in where you got some special barbecue sauce no come on obviously it's so parallel it's so it it's well not really because because you know his barbecue sauce is supposed to like an aphrodisiac it's just people get in the mood

maybe but he was drugging people unconscious and then fucking them no i don't know lewds made them unconscious it just lowered their expo no it was lewds made them unconscious. It just lowered their exp... Lewds would make you super, super tired. It was kind of like people who drink a whole bottle of NyQuil and then they have to fight to stay awake. And then once they are awake, they... He's mixing it with alcohol, too. I think that's part of it. Remember in

The Wolf of Wall Street when he's just crawling on the floor? He's paralyzed to an extent. I think it was putting these women in a Wolf of Wall Street, when he's just crawling on the floor, he's paralyzed to an extent. I think it was putting these women in a very... They weren't all there. They couldn't just hop up and walk away. I feel like they're virtually handicapped

at that point. A lot of them weren't conscious. What happened to that lady who came back with five times? Oh, I don't know. he's got over 50 accusers it's 49 it was 49 accusers when i last like heard an update and that's been a month or two ago he has 49 accusers or something crazy like that and he's countersued seven of them like wait a minute i never even raped some of these well all right I've done some nasty things but come on not those seven there yeah yeah liar fat chick didn't do her she was asking for it she actually wanted my barbecue sauce

they do a reverse lineup uh I didn't rape 19 no wait no i did rape oh i raped her yeah yeah yeah yeah i i almost like i look at cosby and how old he is and stuff and i i to me i feel like he can't lose at this point he's like that guy in game of thrones he was the guy in game of thrones and has like 17 and they're 19 children yeah but i've made this point before here's what bill cosby had he had his legacy which means so much to him as he feels like he's a pillar in the black community he feels like you know everything he's done has really been to set an example for for for black people in america i feel like i feel like he's been like the champion of black men of america hey, get your fucking shit together

and stand up straight and be a fucking man and be something to be proud of. Put your pants up. Yeah, that way when they try to take this away from you and that away from you, they don't have an excuse anymore. And that was basically his thing forever. And I feel like all that's been stripped away all the credibility the respectability

on everything that the Cosby name meant to me it meant trust it meant and an intelligent well-spoken guy who was who was a you know funny and talented and rich in and and successful in all those things and and you know the jello I remember the jello ads I remember the Jell-O ads. I remember the Coca-Cola ads. I didn't watch the Cosby show. I've watched his stand-up comedy, and some of it's very funny. But then to see that this guy's not just a rapist,

but a prolific rapist, I feel like he's lost a lot. Walter Frey, his thing was like, my sons, kill five of my sons, I I still got 15 more, or whatever he said. But with Cosby, it's like, you've taken all I had. Let me run these two lives by you. One, you're a plumber.

And you make a decent life, and you're a good man. You've got a wife, and you have two ordinary kids. One of them goes on to letter in some sport fireworks uh you know as a senior but nothing amazing and god damn neighbors so um and you just live a really normal fine life life. You know? Get one divorce, but the second wife is a better fit for you.

Sure. And there you are. Average life. Standard life. Or you're Bill Cosby. You're rich. You're famous. You fuck a new girl every week, sometimes willingly, sometimes not. You get away with 42 rapes.

not you get away with 42 rapes um you are looked up to from the community and the whole world through your first like 77 years and your life include get away with 42 rapes in the list of like great stuff you're rich you're famous you get away with 40 rapes you got a tv show you've listed those i know what you meant but that was just living a life of no rules drugs money women uh like like you know that's like but but but now it's been to it you know the roads but while he has that like he has both worlds right he's he's the the representative for black people should go to college in his like Temple University pimping. He has the love and the respect of everyone for 77 years, but

for his last two, you know, that's when he gets the downside of that high. You're assuming he's going to die next year. Yeah. I'm assuming he's around for the next 10 years and he spends some of that in the pen. His legacy. I think his legacy. He does not have 10 years left legacy he doesn't have 10 years left and you're

right i think his legacy was very valuable to him i feel like his children might suffer from this legacy thing you know if i'm i don't know what bill cosby's kid his name if i'm jerry is it really are you messing with me yeah if i'm Stephen Cosby, then that kind of hurts. It stings me. Rashad. Tyrone Cosby. It wouldn't happen. Anyway. It's a real rapey name.

Oh, God. But for Cosby, I feel like he and Walter Frey are just too old to mess up their lives anymore. They've had too much strong life already. I disagree. I feel like he's still alive. I feel like he's just in misery right now.

I feel like he feels like he's lost everything that he had put together. It's going to be taken away from him. I think he's going to spend time I think he's going to spend his last days probably in prison. He did. His whole legacy, everything is ruined. When you're that old, you're not looking back. He's not going to spend his last days probably in prison. He did. His whole legacy, everything's ruined. When you're that old, you're not looking back.

He's not going to go back on tour next year and make all this right. So whose life would you pick? If picking Bill Cosby's life means I have to rape a bunch of people, then I'm going to pick the life where I'm not raping them. Well, pick a crime you do enjoy. I'm good with rape. I don't know. Mighty puttying the inside of a school just

pulling something okay okay you get that 42 times i'll take that one that's hilarious oh no but here's the thing but at 77 your mighty putty empire comes crashing down and everybody's mad at you you can't even compare that it has to be rape yet i just murder like if i was a prolific okay i don't know i actually like rape carries so much shame like rightfully so as like a scum fuck thing like nobody ever watches documentaries about serial rapists and is like wow like what a weird demented mind like i wonder what it would be like to be in that mind like that's crazy but you'll watch one about a serial killer and be like, man, what the fuck was going on with them? Like, what made them do that? What triggered them to do it?

So if you replace the rapes with murders and they were like, oh, Taylor lived to be 72, was very successful in his whatever career. But he actually killed 42 people throughout his life. Like, it's crazy. Found a lot of bones under his mansion. You know, the whole Mirka show where he had a really, you know, up-to-do white family going around with his, like, successful white wife. Like, that's all, like, it wouldn't be tarnished. It would be like a weird documentary that was showed. Like, a legacy, like, a titan story that never went away of, like, you know, the story of this guy.

Murderer by night. You know, family man by day. Like, I wouldn't want to kill people, but that's a much better legacy to leave than the rapes. never went away of like you know the story of this guy murderer by by night you know family man by day like i wouldn't want to kill people but that's a much better legacy to leave than the rapes that's but that's not the question the question is do you want to choose this ordinary life of a man that you don't know or do you want to live an extraordinary life for 77 years knowing that there's two or three where it all comes collapsing yeah absolutely the one where i'm not raping people yeah the regular life definitely okay let's do this those last two years are enough to unwind all the happiness from before i think oh okay because it seemed like you objected to the rapes i i could

do the life again where you get falsely well i wouldn't want you to think that you well you could be falsely imprisoned or accused or ruined for rapes that you didn't actually commit, right? So you get Bill Cosby's life, just a whole rich and famous and women throwing themselves at you and all sorts of wonderful stuff for 77 years. But from 77 to 79, you're humiliated publicly. Yeah. No, I'd rather have the regular life. Yeah. Really?

I'd rather have the Cosby life Yeah. Really? I'd rather have the Cosby life. I might. I don't know. It just seems like... I feel like when I die, if I've got a family of five or whatever, when I die, I don't want them to be ashamed of me and go into the funeral and look at each other like, what a piece of shit he really was.

It's hard to... He was dad, but he was a monster at the same time. i want them to be like yeah that was pop every day running that plumbing van up to the city put me through college you know the best of them yeah they're definitely yeah the legacy thing matters i i hear you i don't know it was it i watched um i think it was the fighter and the kid and the guy was saying like man i'd much rather have like a rock star life that ends at 50 than a dull one that ends at 100.

And I'm thinking, like, I don't know. See, being 42, 50 doesn't seem so crazy far away. It's not. This is a different topic, but did you recognize, I'm sure you did, you saw Dennis in Fargo, Dennis from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Yeah. That was hilarious. When I saw him all duct taped and everything,

all I could hear in my head was from the high school reunion episode, he's like, that is shit. I like to bind. I like to be bound. He's all duct taped up. I want to make a remix where he's all duct taped like that but you hear the voiceover of him saying that stuff about liking to be bound.

Every episode of Fargo feels like a movie to me. It's so hard. It's like a mini movie. You've got to finish it up real soon. I'll have it finished tonight. I think I'm on the last episode maybe or about to start the last episode

it's a wonderful show very very good one you guys need to watch too have you heard of The Jinx? no it's similar to Making a Murderer it's about this guy I might accidentally spoil something

so if you guys are listening tune out for a bit I'll be right back I don't want to hear it either it's a good show something so if you guys are listening then you know tune out for a bit okay so all right well it's a good show and i'm not gonna is it a true life story or it's a true life documentary all that it is it's about uh this really famous guy who is from a wealthy family and he was accused of murder and it's basically people uh documentary crew following him around getting all the facts and everything and uh trying to really figure it out because the case had been closed and it's only recently that you know any progress has happened and in the very end like

something occurs i think chis recommended that one too yeah it's really entertaining yeah you guys should check that one out it's very similar to it's a more almost a more disturbing uh making a murderer and it's short too so you can blaze through it yeah oh i got a topic this is from chis really obama's announcing executive action on guns yeah i saw that he's gonna expand background checks in some way so for people that don't know here's the deal when you buy a gun from a gun store you have to do a background check if you buy a gun from someone who's not in the business of selling guns in my state anyway if it's a pistol you need to get a license and everything but if it's a long gun you can just buy it like this just i can buy a gun from a neighbor in the same way

that I could buy his wheelbarrow, right? It just, you can just buy and sell those things. And that is what they refer to as the gun show loophole, right? Sometimes there are people at these gun shows. In my case, all the tables are owned by gun stores and it's the same background check. But sometimes there's people walking around with like a gun on a sling. They put like a flag in the barrel and you know it's for sale. And you say, oh, look at that.

That's the thing I've been looking for. How much do you want for it? And you get a less expensive used gun from a private seller. That to me is the gun show loophole. I don't know if Kyle has a different experience. Nope. Okay.

So, but that gun show loophole occurs, you know, in just regular life too. I don't know where you, I guess gun broker, I don't know where you advertise a gun sale, but, um, that I don't see so much on, on gun broker. They're usually using, uh, an FFL. You're right. Yeah. And, uh, most websites like Craigslist and stuff, they don't allow people to advertise guns. You see it in little pamphlets and stuff. There's a magazine called

The Penny Pincher where people can list their items. You'll see stuff like that. I've bought guns in parking lots from friends and associates and various people before. It's like buying anything else. North Carolina's, remember you and I, we looked at it a little bit. It was a Jim Crow thing. That was so, I had to read and read to get to the bottom of it because it was

that the pistol permitting thing and the sheriff middleman was an unknown quantity to me. So what Obama intends to do is, think the language i hope i have this perfect but i think the language is something like people who are in the business of selling guns and they want to dramatically expand what kind of person is in the business of selling a gun for example you'd have to have owned that gun for an entire year um and i don't know what else it didn't really define the article i read didn't tell me how far he was going to expand it, but it made it sound like there were sort of casual businesses that aren't currently included.

I don't know. I think what it's really going to boil down to is whatever he proposes, when we look at it at the end of the day, I guarantee the changes that are going to be implemented would have had no effect on recent tragedies. Because most of the time with these mass shooters and stuff, we see guns that are legally bought, background checks have been passed. Sometimes you see a straw purchase that may have happened. I think that may be what happened in San Bernardino. You had one individual buy the gun for another.

But, I mean, they've arrested that neighbor. But it seems to me like when that neighbor bought that gun for this guy, I think a straw purchase was the last thing he fucking cared about. It seems like he knew this guy was probably going to perpetrate fucking terrorism. So I doubt he cares. In California, which is where Sanardino is for our international fans it has like a gun controls wet dream of rules around there there is very strict no place more restrictive that i know of than california and there was still a you know pretty successful shooting and the guns have been

modified you know, anyway. It doesn't take much to learn how to modify weapons to do the things that they're not supposed to do anyway. It's internet searches away and very basic power tools and stuff like that. They can legislate all they want. It's not going to really change the bottom line. But I'm looking forward to seeing what he says. Hey, you know, I'm sure he'll drive gun sales right up the

right up the fucking mountain. It looks like there's not much people can do to stop him. It's an executive order. They'd have to take the on the other hand, if they wanted to undo it, whoever takes the presidency could immediately say like, all right, now there's no background checks. Yeah. This is completely off topic, but I just saw it pop up on Reddit.

MLG sells substantially all assets to Activision Blizzard for $46 million. Huh. So Call of Duty owns MLG? Is it pretty much, right? It's only worth $46 million? $46 million. That's more than I thought.

Oh, I thought it was like a huge, giant industry now. MLG? I think of it as a dead thing. Do they do anything that's more popular? Do they... I feel like they're not... They used to be the only, like, COD league in town.

Now they're not. I tried to go to their thing, and it says, checking your browser before accessing esportsobserver.com. The process is automatic. Your browser will redirect to the requested contenterver.com the process is automatic your browser will redirect to the requested content shortly oh there we go some kind of ddos protection yeah

they have the highest level of ddos protection it's a cloudflare thing ah fancy um huh mlg so i don't know i just think of it as more like i don't know it whenever i talk to somebody i went to hope speech and debate thing and there were all these like kids from her high school uh they didn't care about cod at all anymore they just seem like like oh that's a dead game they're not excited about it they didn't buy it this year you know that it's uh i wonder where this will go. We'll see. I think the new COD is a ton of fun. I don't want to look up any critiques on it because I don't want to be sullied and suddenly be like,

oh, that is really stupid. Like, oh, I never noticed how awful that was. I'm not taking it seriously playing multiplayer or anything, but I'm still having a lot of fun with it. Yeah, I like the zombies. I haven't played in a little bit, but I like the multiplayer just fine. I was over at Eric's house yesterday,

the day before, and they were all sitting in the living room playing it. I think it's the best Call of Duty in a while. I think it's definitely better than the last one. I think Treyarch's the strongest of the group. They are certainly now. Yeah, Activision's the parent corp i got mixed up for a while you said activision in my head it was infinity ward yeah i i don't even i don't even

know what to say about call of duty anymore i like it i just don't have the same passion i guess that's true for everyone yeah i'm you know loving my fallout i will say this uh about the fallout um the first time the first character, I think I got to level 60 or something like that. It took me like five and a half, six days of playing time. This time around, I did the luck-based character with that idiot Savant stuff.

I think I'm like a day and a half in, and I'm a level 50. You rank up so much faster doing it that way than doing the high intelligence build the higher your intelligence the more XP you get for actions so you kill a bad guy and you've got a 1 intelligence

you get 10 XP you kill a bad guy and you've got a 10 intelligence you might get 50 XP so traditionally the way to rank up fast was to have a high intelligence character which is what I did the first time around but the second time around I went all luck and it's 4 times faster something like that 3 times faster to have a high intelligence character, which is what I did the first time around. But the second time around, I went all luck, and it's four times faster, something like that, three times faster.

I've been having a good time. What are you getting XP for? Kills, completing missions, discovering locations, crafting items, really anything that you accomplish in the game. Well, Idiot Savant, the perk he's talking about is what makes it so much faster, is you just randomly get, like, let's say you kill five bad guys for four of them you just get the standard 15 or 20 xp for one of them with idiot savant this like retarded guy shows up on the screen and goes like yuck yuck yuck yuck and you get like five times as much xp for that one kill and that'll

happen randomly so sometimes it'll just be a regular kill, and other times you'll finish a huge mission that gives you, like, I don't know, 200 XP. But instead of 200 XP, you get 2,000 or something. 1,000. Like 1,000 XP. And I've got the highest version of it, so now every time it happens,

it'll go, and you get that notification. And for like a short period of time, I don't know what it is, every kill is five times XP. So I'll just go on these massacres where I'm ranking up incredibly fast. It's been a lot of fun. I want to make some videos of it.

I should. I've been wanting to for a while because I think I got it figured out now. I watched some of Wing's videos of it the other day. He's definitely got it figured out. I'm wondering if he's made multiple characters or not because just watching him play and listening to him talk about the locations is clear that he's done these missions at least once. The game came out 50 or 60 days

ago but he's like, so for this part you want to read the holotape? I've already found the thing a little earlier than I should but I'm going to go back to the beginning of the mission just so you'll all be on the same page. He's like, he's super knowledgeable about the game already. More so than I am. So I'm sure he's played a shitload as well. Wings was always good at Fallout, I thought. I remember this. You guys were

having an argument about how to kill some character. I don't know anything about Fallout. But you were like, no, you can't do it. You can't do this or that or whatever. And I'm like, okay, okay. How would you? And he lays out some alternative strategy that wasn't obvious with explosives or something. I remember that. Yeah, he was talking about how to kill Roar,

who's like a unique Deathclaw in, I think maybe the DLC from Fallout New Vegas. I can't recall exactly. But yeah, he wanted this whole thing about using C4 and stuff when you're at a low level, to kill the thing um yeah and it turned out it was he used to do that in cod too and i always appreciated it like most people would figure out a very good kit and use it or you know a couple good kits that work well together wings on the other hand would be the guy that ran Scrambler or something else.

He was the one that came up with giving your care packages away as a quick way to rank up. And he was right. I don't know. He thinks outside the box sometimes in video games. Yeah, for sure.

For sure. But the knowledgeable part that was impressive to me is it's not that he's learned the mechanics of the game inside out. I think we're probably on the same page there. He's learned the mechanics of the game inside out I think we're probably on the same page there he's learned the story

like he knows this like each of these missions is a mini story and there's dozens and there's hundreds of them hundreds of them and this one in particular like he already knows the story he knows how to do it he's done it a couple times it's clear so Taylor

you're three minutes away from 2016. Are you excited? Oh my god. Yeah, it's starting to get loud outside with all the explosions. Let's call it a show soon. I got a few fireworks. Maybe I'll shoot some off. I could do that.

Alright. Ready to call it? Yeah, I think so. Pink you're already episode 263. I hope you guys enjoyed it. Happy New Year!