Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #267

Episode Date: February 5, 2016

This week on PKA, Philip DeFranco joins the guys, tells a story about peeing in a customer's drink while tending tables, Amy Schumer and whether or not she's a joke thief and Donald Trump skips the debate, will it work out for him or will it look bad to the Iowa Caucus?

We're live! Painkiller Already episode 267. We have three sponsors tonight. Painkiller Already is being brought to you by Movement Watches, where high quality doesn't have to break the bank. Dollar Shave Club, Shave Time, Shave Money, Dollar Shave Club, and of course our old friend, Squarespace. Start building your website today at squarespace.com, enter opera code PKA at checkout and get 10% off.

Squarespace, build it beautiful. We will talk more about all three of those sponsors later on in the show. But first things first, we got Philip DeFranco with us tonight. What's up? How you doing, man? Good, man. It's been a while. It has. It's been too long, too long. I would say that some might even say

you haven't accepted all of our invites. So as far as not accepting... Oh, no. As far as not accepting, that's because I'm the worst person. My friends know that I just don't return text messages. It's not because I'm above it. I just suck at it.

I do the same thing where if someone sends me something trying to make plans, I type it all out, and then I get distracted, and then it gets to a critical time where it's seven hours later. If I send this this text now i look like more of an ass than if i just at this point don't respond and so it's like well my bed's been made i'm not responding you know yeah at that point i'm just like i screen cap it i'm like look it was like it was like this i meant to send it but like i was i've been so stressed for time like when i called before we started, I was going to do the podcast while I was driving because I was that stressed out that I was late. If you could turn the video on,

that would have been cool. That would have been a fun experience. Then we'd have gotten to see you get pulled over on the show. Do the ticket, the whole thing. Am I being detained? Yeah. Maybe the cop takes exception to you vlogging. Him pulling you over and your eventual arrest. That would be fun.

Can you tap on your mic, Phil? Make sure you're using the best one. That's the one. Okay. Is it not that good? It's echoey. I don't know if you can get it closer to you. Oh, it is?

I think the room is echoey. I could probably... I could move. How hard is that? I didn't know that was a choice. I mean, I'm on a laptop. Yeah, do it. Find a room with better... World's your oyster. Yeah, make it happen.

Actually, give us a little tour. Can you narrate the move? I'm like, I'm going to go from this echoey room to... Wait, what am I attached to? What am I tethered to? This is my office at my house that I never actually use. I try to have like a...

You need some oil paintings or something, right? Oh, did you hear how much better the sound got just there? Yeah. Well, that's my little cage. One second, I've got to find... There's too many lights in this damn house. I hope the listeners of Painkiller already appreciate my audio assholishness. It really...

Woody can't brag on himself right now, so I'll step in for it. I would have done the whole show and just kind of been like, ah, it feels a little echoey, like whatever. Wouldn't have even thought about it. But as soon as he walked out here, he sounds so much better. Yeah, right back. So you're on point with that. All right, so what are we going to talk about first?

I have a topic in mind. Do you want to do competing topics? Sure. So I have two. Obviously, well, one of them is Taylor's. He suggested Amy Schumer, and i like that one um there's also the revenant although taylor hasn't seen it yet at some point i'd like to give my my impressions about it maybe i don't know since i at some point i'd like to stop having my internet ass kicked by my revenant dislike

i took a notebook with me to the movie so that I could properly talk about this thing. I wanted to make sure that I didn't forget anything and I wrote down everything I found memorable with the videography and I did a little research. I really enjoyed the film, so I'd like to talk about it at some point, but it's difficult. Did you only write in the notebook when you were in the theater or when you ordered popcorn

were you kind of giving them a glare and writing something down? Shoddy service at concessions. Oh, you're gonna put two pumps of butter in my jumbo tub. Is that something you think's appropriate? No, no, don't do more. I'm just trying to get a feel for what you do here. I felt like a real snob taking the notebook into the movie, but there was literally nobody. First of all, it fits right in my jacket, right? It's a little notebook. So, you know, it goes right in my jacket pocket it's a little notebook so like you know it goes right my jacket pocket you can't see it uh but but second of all i want you know it's two and a half hour movie the he's traveling across the country i wanted

to make sure i didn't forget any of the little tidbits of the things that happened along the way and the things i appreciated about the the cinematography and stuff they were like two or three shots i found were just incredible um but so so that's my topic is Revenant. You suggest, Amy Schumer, what do you have to suggest as a topic, Mr. GamerTag? I think it's the Fine Brothers. And I'm especially interested in Phil's take on this. Ah, yes. I'll talk about this in one second.

They're being billed as trying to copyright the concept of reaction videos. Yes. That doesn't seem realistic. Just at a first glance. They wrote in the comments, I have the video that we can watch together.

They say in the comments, look, we're not trying to copyright reaction videos. We're trying to compliment our format of reaction videos. I'm sorry, copyright?

I think I said comment. We're trying to copyright our format of reaction videos. They feel like their idea is being stolen. They said they've been making youtube videos for 12 years and uh and that you know people are copying their idea now they're trying to copyright it and make people license the way that they do reaction videos do you guys want to see the video it's about two and a half minutes long i will watch it i watched a bit of it earlier.

I'm a little nervous watching this video knowing it's about three and a half minutes long. Oh, we're reacting to... We're reacting to the reaction video. This will be great. Oh, no. Careful, this is copyrighted. Are you guys ready?

I am ready. Ready, set, play. Hello, everyone. We are very excited to bring you an announcement today. It's a really big announcement. Our company has grown so much over the years, and we are so grateful to have experienced this with all of you who have been with us for years,

as well as new people who join the Fine family every day. And it's because of all your support that we're now announcing this big thing that will bring us closer than ever before by creating a new way for us to create content together. This is not only a huge step for our company, but for the entire global media industry. Ever since React first debuted over five years ago, we saw the impact of the series. The franchise has grown beyond our wildest imagination and it's been humbling to see the impact it's had on the world.

We strive with React to be making episodes that will not just be interesting and entertaining now, but live on forever as a time capsule even a hundred years from now that people can look back at what various generations were saying about culture and the issues of our time. So you're wasting your time going on the internet, going to the comments, I can't tell if they're joking right there. and typing some racial slur for a Cheerios commercial. Is this really a time capsule of reactions? No, they're serious about that.

I thought they were joking because that's a ridiculous claim. I think it is. I would stand by their claim. Think about it. You're getting... It really is. It literally is that. You're getting a 60-year-old person's reaction on something. licensing, which many TV shows have done over time. For example, Britain's Got Talent and America's Got Talent, it's the same show format, but

licensed legally to be created in other locations. So with React World, we've created a new way to license formats in the digital age. And unlike in TV, where you have to pay huge amounts upfront, we're providing the license with no upfront fees. Instead we're sharing revenue with you after you start uploading. Along with the license, we're going to be giving you a bunch of resources to help you create the shows make money and get featured and promoted by us in various ways find out more in the links below part of why we believe this initiative is important is due to witnessing many creators ourselves included having their shows and

formats by companies and people both online that's a lot of dislikes we implore everyone not to support those companies and channels 30000 to 30,000. Wow, it's almost perfectly split. Over 62,000 total comments and the split is like 43.

All they need to throw in is something negative about Robin Williams and they'll break that 50-50. Ma'am's a national treasure, Woody. If you throw in something negative about Robin Williams, they'll break that 50-50. Ma'am's a national treasure, Woody. I've learned. I've seen that coming. Got any comments about Princess Diana while you're at it? Like, come on, man.

You knew that wasn't going to go well. All right, so let's talk about this. I think we got the gist of it. Let me sum it up, because in case people didn't get it. Please. I'm not aware of it it but i think they feel like people have been copying their format to reaction videos and i'm glad i've watched this more than once because um i start to understand it better in repetitive watches and um what they want to do is say all right rather than you just do what i do and rip off my idea i'll license it to you

no upfront cost. I'll even give you some graphics packages and maybe promotion. They said promotion on there. I'm sure they don't promote every Tom, Dick, and Harry though. And it's had some other little things like, but hey, you'll exist under their umbrella and then you might have a successful show, but they're splitting the money with you, right?

They invented this format and i guess they feel entitled to other people doing it what format did they invent like that's what i'm struggling to understand their claim that's where i'm stuck too like i i feel like they would have had a stronger claim if it was a more original idea i don't know what that idea is exactly i think it's doing reactions to certain topics with a very specific category of people as your focus group, right? Which seems hard. It seemed like, to me, what makes up a show like American Idol. I think of the whole thing, the graphics and everything.

So I feel like it's kind of hard for them to have much to stand on. However, let me add this. As a content creator, if that was my thing right now, let's say that I am in my head, I know I'm ripping them off every week. But my videos are getting 10,000 views, which is pretty successful if you're just ripping somebody else's thing off. I would want to get on board with them because maybe these people who have this big organization and all this funding will say, hey, this guy over here who's kind of doing what we're into is good at it and he's got some things he could add to our videos you

could end up you know doing this for a living rather than a hobby i feel like i made like if i made videos talking about like giving my opinion on current events i don't think philly d would be able to say no wo Woody talking about current events is my domain So so here's what I'll here's what I'll say One I've been in there their videos before I'm I'm friends with them I haven't been them in them in a while for the previously mentioned terrible at responding back to people But yeah, I only found out about this on the car ride home because someone actually But yeah, I only found out about this on the car ride home because someone actually, a tuber that I won't name, texted me and he said, hey, I have a great idea, Phil.

You should start a network and anyone that does news, sue them. But that's the thing. Everything that I'm seeing here, it seems like a communication problem. They've now posted, I'm looking onto to Facebook about There were rumors that they they they tried to get a copyright on react Which they don't actually have and they said that they're not doing there. No, they're not trying to shut down or sue anyone I see this as a potential positive, right? So think of it like I launched source fed a news channel, but it's very limited in that it's English speaking. So if I don't want to do the footwork and I want SourceFed Español, I want to do SourceFed Germany because it blew up there, SourceFed Brazil,

all of a sudden I could license out, have people inside of a network if you want to call it, but it is more of a licensing deal. And then I can just kind of do quality control to make sure they're not murdering people on the channel. And then I can, based off of if I'm the fine bros and I'm getting hundreds of millions of views and I have a massive sales team, then I can then bring them into the folds of sponsorships I'm already getting. I think there's a huge upside, but what you're doing is you're making a video that is a business video to an audience that is largely young people or people that aren't

necessarily thinking of it in a business sense. I think that's the problem. If you talked about half of the deals on YouTube to people that don't have deals on YouTube, they lose their damn mind. Very good point. That's my opinion on YouTube, they lose their damn mind. Very good point. That's my opinion. Yeah.

Also, I'll be right back. I'm going to close the door because my dog's being an asshole. Yeah, that's true. The only objection I have to this, right, because there's some win-win in here, like, hey, we're going to give you some support. You're going to make videos in our family of videos, and this will be a thing. The only downside is it comes across to me as if they think they have a copyrightable idea that they're somehow being infringed upon. And I've always thought that some ideas are just not original enough to warn infringing. I was the first. So before me, to get Call of Duty tips and tricks, you had to watch a whole 12-minute video

and hope to glean like a little tip from there. Like the way that Hutch made them, the way that Sea Nanners made them, the way that Wings made them. You watch the whole video and then 11 minutes of it would be what they feel, what they're doing, et cetera. And then there might be one little piece in there, like hey, did you know if you had color blindness

you can see even stealth bombers, right? And then you'd be like, oh, that's a thing I didn't know. I was the first guy to make a video, that I know of, that only had the tip part. I'd make 90 second video and say, hey, here's a thing you might not have known. If you use the color blindness, for some reason, stealth bombers aren't stealthy.

Hey, here's the thing you might not have known. You know, here's a line of sight where you can see the B flag by looking underneath this house and estate or something like that. And they were popular. People would ask me, Woody, can I make a video? Can I do a quick tip? And I'd say, yes, of course you can.

That idea is not original enough for me to claim. You know, what make a video? Can I do a quick tip? And I'd say, yes, of course you can. That idea's not original enough for me to claim a shorter video. But, is Seniors React a good enough one? I think they're the first one to be Seniors React. If you make your own video series also called Seniors React, and you do

it in a similar format, the same editing and everything, superimpose boxes and everything, you make it look just like theirs, aren't you crossing some ground there? Not really, I'm starting up my own series, Responses of the Elderly, and I think it's going to do really well. Elder Thoughts is mine.

Well, you know, you're starting it after me. Mine's just Woody's Friends. I think that would be the interesting test, if all of a sudden you do Elder Responses to videos or whatever, and then you see if anyone comes at you. But, I mean, the question becomes, is that different enough? But, I mean, if someone came out with, let's say someone came out with Asians React, do you think that that could be close enough? Like someone's trying to piggyback off of the brand.

The fact you can't use React as part of the brand like i don't that's the only part of their video i didn't like but they're like oh we've been doing this for 12 years which is a huge feat because that's a year longer than youtube's been around that's what i was thinking i was like wait a minute wow were you doing this on fucking uh albino black sheep you know keeping people updated back then but and then it's just it's too vague to copyright it's not fair to say oh you can't record other people's genuine responses about something. Like, they already have a good thing going. I've said for ages that, like, how original the idea, at least in the COD community, right?

How original your idea is kind of has a bearing on how long you should have it exclusively to you, right? You know, if, like, what? Like Pat. Xbox Ahoy, is that his name? Yeah. He did a thing about guns and like their history and with the graphics package and such that no one else had done. Right. In my mind, that was different enough from what everyone else was doing that you've got to be hands off for like a year and a half, which is a long time in the YouTube world.

On the other hand hand my quick tip idea instant hop on right it just wasn't really that groundbreaking or original it was what people were already doing without the fluff um mail monday no one else was really doing that in quite the way i was so i don't know six months something like that you know before you know your own maybe not rip off the name exactly. Well, if they rip off the name in some way, that's kind of a thing. But the idea of, like, writing in or sending a message to someone and getting their take on it is as old as, you know, radio. I mean, you don't see me reaching out to Jimmy Kimmel being like, reading me tweets?

Really? That was my thing. Yeah, Casey Kasem's not gonna be rolling over in his grave because you've read someone's letter or something but i think you could make a pitch like that about mostly because they let him decompose in that bag mostly so they um it's true reacting isn't a new thing either like the fine brothers didn't invent it i like their idea i i feel like maybe they, based on the reaction they've gotten, they clearly put it out there in the wrong way. I think they've got a good idea there. And if I were one of these guys making reaction videos, I would probably be pretty interested in what they're offering there.

The idea of some infrastructure and some guidance and some help from people who are clearly the best in the business. some guidance and some help from people who are clearly the best in the business. But I think the people who are really getting their panties in a bunch don't even make videos. They're just fans. They're just injustice warriors and they think the little guy might be getting trampled on a bit and they're like, oh no you don't, you bitch cocksuckers. That's all that's going on here. I think you're onto something there. What video producers out there are like,

fuck you, React is what I do. I started it last year, but mine's better. Nobody's doing that. I wish their pitch was a little more on how they could help and grow smaller channels than how they're going to stomp on smaller channels, which is how it came off. I'd have offered a contest. We're going to have a show where we're going to find the top three best React channels

out there, and they're going to compete against each other, and we're going to find one who joins our team. YouTube's got reactions. Yeah, and all you've got to do to be part of the reality show we're going to put on is join our network and get started. You know, they could have sold it. Sign this perpetuity contract. Commentary React madness contract madness yeah it seems

like they did a bad job explaining it and like if they actually were trying to patent i guess or copyright react videos that would be beyond the pale stupid because you can't just say that people can't do react videos because you do it like that's just because you're the biggest channel it doesn't make sense i want to say maybe like kyle copywriting gun videos because he's the biggest one out there. Or opening a gun network where you can shoot guns whenever you want. And then I'll take your shitty video, laugh at it quietly but myself, and then go back to my channel where it's successful. You mentioned the copyright thing.

So I found this off a Reddit link called Fine Brothers Try to Copyright the Idea of React Videos Even Though That Idea is Older Than Fine Brothers. Or something like that. It was real close to that. I'm like, oh, well, no wonder's like coming to this video with kind of a twisted head no wonder i had to watch it twice before i feel like i really got what they were doing um not trying to own the whole idea of react videos but instead saying people who mimic their format too much you should be licensed i can't't believe that Reddit would upvote something so clearly biased. Right? Crazy talk!

Usually they're pretty even keel. What I take away from that is I got no problem with what they're trying to do there. They're clearly saying we're not trying to step on any little guys here, but if you're outright just copying what we do, you're kind of a subsidiary of us. Or at least you should be.

In my opinion, you should want to be. If you that that hypothetical guy i keep mentioning who's doing elders react right after they upload elders react and yours gets 5k and theirs gets you know a million or whatever uh you're you you should want to be uh under with working with these guys get as close to them as you can channels remember the girls with big boobs would be like, this is me watching FPS Russia. I hated those. Straight down camera angles. I was talking to Richard about this when we were out in Texas

a couple months ago. We talked about that at length. I hated those fucking response bitches so, so much. They were so bad. They would get me and Epic Mealtime and there's two or three other channels. I think they do it to Phil. Basically, for anyone who doesn't know, Epic Mealtime would upload a video called Biggest Pasta Ever. The response girl would immediately upload a video called Re

The Biggest Pasta Ever. She would copy the tags, she would copy the description of the video, she would copy everything and the way YouTube was set up then it would immediately be in the top of the related videos. And that means that Epic Meal Time at the time probably had 5 million subscribers or something like that

so 5 million people are being channeled to this page and she is through no she didn't earn it in any way. She's just being awarded So 5 million people are being channeled to this page and she is through no She didn't earn it in any way She's just being awarded this prize spot of being a related video to this literally epic video and and she would bleed off anywhere from 5,000 views to sometimes quarter million views and it's she's such a dope those bitches were all the same and I'm sorry They just were like you could tell they were dumb bitches and they would just be like it's she's such a dope those bitches were all the same and i'm sorry they just were like you

could tell they were dumb bitches and they would just be like it's like cleavage like sometimes the top of the frame would be here like i'd be like do you have a fucking forehead because they want to get as much cleavage in there as possible and she was like yeah just watch this f is russia machine gun and so many bullets favorite part was the thing that went boom and that was so when when Cal makes make it up like a million view video right his other videos might get two hundred thousand more views you know they'll be like oh yeah you know I haven't watched one of these for a related video is a very good spot it's a cool spot right so when she gets a quarter million views

for her what Did I Think About This video, those are views that a lot of them would have otherwise went to Kyle. They would have been... You sort of want your related videos to be yours. Normally, the related views are my videos, but she was taking some of those spots from me. So she's... And, you know,

like, she's making pennies when I should be making dollars because she's not got... She doesn't have the same CPM, and I... That's what I need be making dollars because she doesn't have the same CPM. And that's what I need to do is go on Twitter and explain that to the masses. They'll be on my side when I'm like, come on, she's pushing a 70-cent CPM, and I'm pushing $4. This is bullshit. We can call them dumb.

We can call them names. But part of me respects that scam. It's a good scam. Whoever invented it? Part of me will that scam. It's a good scam. Who ever invented it? Part of me will always respect manipulation. Sorry. I'm sorry, man. I'm too pure.

I don't respect it. I want to fix it. No, I respect it. It's not respectable, but when I would see those, I would kind of be like, ah, you slimy bitch. You figured out something that I didn't even think of. And the response is like Kyle said. There was nothing of value at any point.

It would just be like a 30 second video of I'd say it's borderline too much pasta for their epic meal. Who needs that? Just nothing. Nothing at all. I just know that I can't hate too much because 10 years ago, 9 years ago

it would all be about getting Marina Orlova hot for words in my videos. I would talk about news and then I'd randomly have word of the day just so I could have a beautiful woman as my thumbnail. Thumbnails don't bother me a bit. I don't care what anybody puts in their thumbnail or their title or their description or anything as long as you're not manipulating some Google algorithm in some way. But I felt like they were just – that way but i felt like they were just i felt like they really that's what i felt like they were doing they were manipulating the algorithm i felt like and in a way that just seemed so easy and unfair like they weren't working hard for those views at all they were just that's they were just piggybacking i've got got one of those. Yo Mama. Do you remember the Yo Mama channel?

Yeah, yeah. This had no impact. Let me explain this. Back in the day, there was a YouTube homepage, a front page, that wasn't unique to you like it is now. Instead, they'd just be like most popular videos, most views, top in comedy, top this. One of them was top favorites. comedy top this one of them was top favorites and my channel was the size that if i did something special and i asked for favorites i may or may not make it there like i could just like scratch and claw to get onto the home page sometimes i think i maybe did it like five or six times

and tried maybe 10 right and um but it wasn't like i did it every video we're just like oh right like here's one where i like the dog collar video or something like and it was very beneficial because i don't remember what the numbers were at the time youtube wasn't as big but it was like i don't know 25 million people are gonna hit this home page in the next 12 hours and you get a prime spot and so they had most viewed most favorited and then most viewed in each category so if you timed it just right you could get all three well no you're doing crazy shit only fps russia could do that regular fucks like me would not like get most favorited then get propelled to most views and then get propelled to

most some other i never triple or quadrupled on the home page in my life but i might get one there and yo mama had a cheating system they they somehow had like 10 000 channels sign up to allow them to remotely favorite using those channels and they would upload these awful videos it'd be like one minute long yo mama's so dumb she sold her car animated animated videos yeah poor animation poor animation rehashed yo mama jokes that weren't great but they would go ahead you know yeah but then they'd click the button and they'd get 10 000 likes and just knock whoever was on the page off now kyle would get like 40 000 likes he was never impacted by this thing but um sometimes i would upload just to fuck them i'd see that their video was up.

And here's the funny thing. You could see when they pushed the button because they would go from like 34 favorites to 10,034. But if I asked for favorites, I would get 40,000, 30,000, shit like that. And it was really fun to knock them right off the homepage. I did it intentionally a couple times. Yeah. And the way YouTube works, like sort of right out of the gate

is when you typically get most of your views. Not always, but most of the time. These guys out of the gate, when they go to their subs or whatever, would get like 15,000 views and 10 likes. If you graphed it, it was like barely any. And then day two, boom. Just out of nowhere. They pressed the front page button on a two or three day old

video and then suddenly they've got a million views and uh it was always it was like this cheap thing youtube eventually like figured out how they were doing it and disallowed it and then that channel never got anywhere again this makes me so happy because i just remember ranting like just to friends like how the fuck is this a thing how is this channel popular oh you didn't know no i mean i knew like one of the guys that was behind it keep the heat yeah and now he has like some weird network thing i don't know i don't know what he does i always envied his hair he looked like um the heat miser he had great red hair that spiked straight up oh my god yeah i met him in real life he seemed like a good guy but i definitely didn't like he i think he dated one of the response video girls

and the two of them were like this youtube powerhouse of scumbaggery for lack of a better term was it the brunette pretty girl yeah yeah handsome guy the problem the problem for me with any of that stuff is i'll end up showing up at vidcon and i'll see someone and i'm like i remember you because i hate you or i'm a fan i can't remember and i end up having these conversations and i'm like oh you're the guy that fucked me on that deal why am i talking to you it's just too much stuff man ah the histories go along they're kind of i don't know it gets tangled and then the worst is like i have to not do but like you know like like this guy is straight up spawn of the devil and then i have a friend who's friends with him too now how do i handle this you know like you know, that guy's been attacking my children and you're cool with him?

Like, you know, now I don't know if I, am I supposed to be cool with you? Am I supposed to just overlook that? Am I supposed to expect some kind of loyalty? I don't even know how to handle this. I feel like some of it, I mean, depending on who you end up talking to, there's some where people are just worried, I think, worried about the negative hit and so everyone tries to play nice. There's obviously maybe some people that you shouldn't play nice with. I got so much crap for making an offhand comment a few months ago about, I was like, sometimes

people fake pranks on YouTube and people lost their mind. I remember that. You got a temporary... I assume the strike was fixed, but you got a strike over it, right? Oh, I got handled and people made excuses. It's amazing how sensitive people are. Did someone accidentally file a copyright strike on you? You know. Yeah.

You slip. You go, what? It's like a 14-step process that sometimes you accidentally do. You know, sometimes you want to send someone an email going, hey, can you make this change? But then you accidentally try to shut down their channel. Stuff like that happens all the time. Oopsie. Frog button.

It's crazy, though, because the smallest sentence that goes against someone that they're attached to, people will go over the throat. It's crazy do you think you had a long-term impact though because i feel like since you made that video i've watched 30 more people who have now been bold enough to to say that those pranks are fake grade under a made one got like a strike and he's like ah he came back and made a even more specific one well that's the thing i mean well one fantastic creator i've only recently found him like the past month uh and then two i feel like that's the thing is when you try to censor someone that just makes their point way more valid because you're not you're not combating them with strice in effect yeah it's exactly but it's just it's

not like you're saying no you're not saying, you're trying to act like you're rising above something, but you're trying to fucking stab someone in the back. It's ridiculous. Why were people getting in trouble for saying that prank videos were fake that people could tell were fake anyway? Did you use footage from his video? No, I used a picture. A still image.

Yeah. I mean, that's the big thing. Sometimes it doesn't even matter if you're in the right. I mean, that's the big thing. Cause sometimes, sometimes it doesn't even matter if you're in the right. Sometimes we have to take like the extra step and we like, we don't show footage, we show a picture and if there's audio we want to play, we'll like play it. Um, and I mean, the thing is we, now that my company was acquired by discovery, we have the lawyers. It's just that it's such a pain because now everyone has lawyers and then it's just acquired by discovery how rich are you now i'm i live a nice life that mythbusters money no they got rid of the mythbusters i want to be mythbusters 2.0 yeah you got it that's where

the money ran that's why the mythbusters had to go away it'silly. He took all the fucking money. Rumor is. But what I feel bad for are definitely the smaller guys. Any small guy that tries to speak up. Because if they're going to try and take me down, they're going to definitely stomp all over way smaller people. Alright, so what's our next topic? We're going to talk about Amy Schumer definitely

stealing jokes, right? Or are we going to... Totally, definitely, 100% stealing jokes. Let's do Amy Schumer then. Alright, alright. So I think you need to watch the evidence video, right? I have, but I've seen several of them. Have you seen the one with the mad TV sketches and the sexual magician sketches?

Yep. And you still don't think that those are lifted bits? So here's what i think um i'm not convinced that these that like all of it was stolen by her um the the magician thing is clearly a copy but i don't know that she wrote that you know it was her show she didn't write that but she's so she's the she signs off on everything she's in the writers meetings like well i think what can happen is like you know writer write something she says this is funny she didn't know there was some mad tv sketch about it that happened before i don't know why that's crazy if you were to here i heard a joke today um uh it was the other day, but anyway, he says that, he's like, the problem is,

I like having sex a lot more often than I wanna have babies. There should be some other hole, you know? Another hole that's like readily accessible that you use all the time, and then the baby making hole should be harder to get to, you know, like the reset button on the back of your router, so that there's no accidents, that that's like the baby making hole is something you only do intentionally and of course this guy said it

way funnier than me but if i told that joke as if it was mine it was actually hickok 45 son i didn't know he's a comedian but he is um if i told that joke as if it was mine you guys might think it was hilarious and not know that it was stolen but that's immaterial but no i'm just saying like when i when i try to evaluate how i feel about amy schumer the fact that she's got a team of writers someone on her team stole something they ran with it and she's like i am so sorry i had the one on her comedy like it's her stand-up copying and joke stealing that's more damning than the the skits like the skits i can get behind it and be like, okay, maybe a writer thought that this was really funny, and it just

so happens that they... She's not coming out and saying that, though. She's not saying, hey, Rick here stole this. Rick, right there, that's Rick. He's the one who wrote that sketch. Or told me he did. I'm firing Rick. She doubled down and was like, oh, well, I thought of this, too, and then one of my writers suggested, you know, we should go a little further with it, and so

that's what we did and it's like that's pretty damning it's obvious it's too close to be a coincidence I saw the stand up thing and in the stand up thing do I need to cue this no that's just a thing I'm sorry I saw her stand up thing and

some other comedian they were talking about women's underwear and and they said like you know oh, my underwear is so horrible. By the end of the day, it looks like cottage cheese and this and that and whatever. And all these ugly things in the little collection reservoir thing on women's underwear. And Amy Schumer is like, my New Year's resolution is for one day to get to the end of the day and have my underwear not look like I blew my nose. And they're like, stolen joke. And I'm like, I don't know.

That other joke was literally like 19 years older. She wasn't around when that joke was told. Oh, maybe for that one. Yeah. That parallel thinking is a thing. Yeah, yeah. I have no problem with that one. That one I don't think is stolen, but the others are better examples.

Go ahead, Taylor. The Patrice O'Neill copying is so flagrant. Her pacing, the space between when she says certain words, the way she delivers it, it's a carbon copy with a couple of words switched out to be tactful and to make it seem different. I know that she was friends with Patrice before she died. They were on ONA together.

It wasn't like he was doing his comedy and they were just like ships passing in the night. Like they knew each other well enough to have conversations and to watch each other stand up sets. Or when she said, I like when guys pay on the first date for sex. Like that's totally stolen.

Like even the delivery. I think that's like Kathleen Madigan or someone. I think so. Yeah, yeah. Now that one, I wrote off to being potentially parallel thinking. She said that exactly. She was like, yeah, you know the joke.

I like it when guys pay on the date, beat, beat, beat for sex. I swear, I think I've heard a third female comedian use that joke too, not just the two of them. That one, I feel like it's not such an original concept that it's not going to happen every 20 years. If you watch the Patrice O'Neill one, it's the exact copy. Yeah, that one seems stolen. So my argument that I'm trying to actually make here is that she stole a joke,

and then they manufactured like 19 other examples of similar jokes, jokes her staff did, etc. No, what you're saying is she stole it. So what you're saying is she stole a joke and her writers stole two jokes and there were a lot of coincidences and a lot of parallel thinking. It just seems like, I feel like when Carlos Mencia

stepped in shit, we were real quick to say yeah, that Honduran guy is dirty. But now that it's a pretty blonde chick that everybody wants to root for, it's oh come on Amy wouldn't do that yeah me no I don't know fucking Amy Schumer it looks like she's a thief though she's not a very funny comedian in my opinion like I've watched her stuff and it doesn't make me like I like her I think it's going to go and the reason I think that nobody's calling her out is that... Can you tap your mic, Taylor?

Failure. Is it not going? I think you might be using a different mic. You're on board. And then plug it back in. God damn amateur. God damn it. These people.

Mediocre. Mediocre. Is it better now? Tap it. No. I'm not sure that's it. Woody's going to lose his shit if you don't Oh my god. Woody looks calm and collected.

He's just boiling. He's boiling right now with rage. I can hear it a little bit when he hits it, but I'm not sure. He's going to go beat the shit out of the trash cans in a little while. That should be better now. Yes! God damn rookies! He was about to hulk out. I know. I'm wary of it that

would want to ruin his nice shirt but um yeah the i think i my theory for why nobody's calling her out as viciously because like uh rogan has called out mencia for joke stealing on an equivalent if not maybe a little less evidence uh mostly it was just a bunch of comedians getting together being like yeah you are fucking stealing. Comedy Central took Mencia's side over Joe Rogan and then eventually it all boiled over and Mencia kind of fell from glory. Jerry Seinfeld has accused people of stealing jokes. Less evidence needed and people take his side. The only reason I think that people are taking Amy Schumer's side, especially comedians, is because she has like eclipsed Louis C.K. and become the first one to get like an all-star role in a real

blockbuster movie like trainwreck and so all of her comedians friends she's known for being loyal and putting her friends like jim norton and whoever else in stuff that she does projects and so none of them are going to you know kill the golden goose potentially uh and they also don't want to they don't want the first huge all-star comedian who's in blockbuster roles to be torn down in shame because then who knows another network might be like uh hey why take this comedian on what if it's another amy schumer debacle and he ends up stealing a joke like i don't want to deal with that like let's just get another actor i'm personally empathetic for her because i have a staff and while i'm responsible for everything my staff does I also know what it's

like when your staff makes a decision you wouldn't have and on some of those things I feel like she didn't write that she's responsible for it but I can see how it happened well she takes credit for writing it which is the important thing she takes credit as a writer on the show and for those bits like uh you would she would have you believe that she's the driving force behind those. It's her and the writers sitting there brainstorming, coming up with it. She's not going and lounging around purportedly while her writers come up with all the ideas. Yeah, it's not like Seinfeld where you've got two or three people

and Larry David back there coming up with premises. She supposedly is the driving force behind this thing. She's the main writer. there coming up with premises like she supposedly is the driving force behind this thing she's she's the main writer no i know i listened to her response to it and she said she had other writers on there and that was where some of these things originated from and then there's the other thing and again this isn't an excuse but it's an i understand how it happens i have come up with ideas that i later realized I saw somewhere else. And there was a long time

when I was making a lot of Call of Duty videos. At one point, I stopped watching other people's videos because every idea I had was just to redo someone's video. That's a great idea. I should, no, no, you can't, you can't, you can't. Well, it didn't stop me. Well, hey, we'll definitely know for sure when she makes her next comedy special, right?

It's either going to be all crickets, or we're going to be like, wait a minute, is that a Louis C.K. and a Bill Burr joke? What the fuck? We'll catch it next time for sure. So we'll see if she's funny in the future. But as of right now, I think she's like 85% sure most of that stuff is lifted, and she knew she was lifting it. Yeah, I'm pretty, pretty fucking sure. I'm 100% sure the Patrice part. lifted and she knew she was lifting it. 100%.

Yeah, I'm pretty, pretty fucking sure. I'm 100% sure the Patrice part. What do you sway me like this much? The Patrice thing is lifted. Do you think the Patrice, because my understanding when I'm watching those and then going and literally looking where they read verbatim what the definition is, that's 100% where you can get that they're the exact same thing. They're reading definitions off of a website. So that's my thing. And it's cut together

on just those two specific things. So I think there's definitely, you know, like-minded thinking. I think, like you even said, Woody, that, you know, you can hear something and then use it. Some of the sketches are definitely insanely close. But, I don't know. I think the reason, obviously, people are going to take it so personal is your product is a comedian. So it feels like you're straight up stealing money from someone.

Yeah. Especially, it doesn't help he's a dead guy. So, actually, maybe it does help. She's not stealing from Patrice O'Neill he really should have bequeathed it to her he put it in his will what if she said that what if that was her response

how bad would everyone feel actually Patrice willed me this joke as you can see right here he wanted me to carry it on and get the last for him as he wrote here with his dying wish it trails off a little because he died signing it. Yeah, like that book, when they're in the mines of Moria, we cannot get out.

They're at the gate. They are coming. Part of the reason I side with her is sometimes I have a tendency, like if everybody hates him or her, I was like, oh, well, I'm on him or her side fuck everyone let's do this and uh you do that too sometimes yeah so of course it's easy you always want to root for the the the underdog it's the american way it's it's what all of our big all of the american stories are about that all of our heroes do that they they they you know they come from

their underdogs who read the rocky Balboa. Stuff like that. So when you see a real life one, you're like, hey, leave her alone. She's fighting her way up to the top. I'm a social justice warrior. She's totally not an underdog. And you listen to Pink. You're like two-thirds of the way from being a Tumblerina. The reason that so many people

are coming out saying it's horse shit, you are copying these jokes, you are plagiarizing, is because no comedians aside from like the three female comedians and like maybe a dude or two who actually said yeah you're stealing shit nobody else is coming down on her hard no media is coming down on her hard so she was on jim norton's advice show and the whole time what pissed me off even more than the joke stealing was the framing of the issue of like you know why do you think people are so eager to tear you down

where it's like you're going back to that first grade mentality of you know everybody's just jealous of me I got big so fast it's hard to keep up like everybody's jealous it's like that's what you tell a first grader when you know why are all the kids mean to me it's because they're jealous of you no maybe it's because you're being a shitty little fuck

when she says she got big so fast is that a weight loss reference or a weight gain reference i mean it's a little early my joke i put the pieces together it was good yeah she um i lost my train of thought now so you i'm gonna blame you for this no taylor get on my side i'm being blamed it is sometimes like i mean that's the thing is i don't think that she did it but i also understand that i have uh fan bias you know i imagine like not to it's different extreme levels different sorts of wrong but i imagine you know it's the people that still sided with bill cosby 40 women in they're like no no, not Bill.

But there's also, like, there's a story that I didn't even give the time of day where there was that Gawker article, like, six months ago, where Louis C.K. was being accused by two or three different sources for pulling his penis out and masturbating in front of two female comics

and would not let them leave the room. Like, that's something, I read that, and even though I don't know him as a person, and it's like the same bias, and I've only seen him on his show and his comedy specials, I'm like, no, not him. I mean, we are talking about a guy who put cottage cheese on his balls and let his dog lick it off. Who among us hasn't done that?

Let he who has not had their balls licked by the dog catch the first stone. Let he who has not had their balls licked open the next jar of peanut butter. We're all living in glass houses. Glass bestiality house. There was some bestiality in the new episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

You guys need to catch up. I'm on episode two, I think. Cricket is at an all-time low. He literally got... He was in a four-way with three dogs. It was... Yeah, yeah. You can't get much lower than that.

He's a real... He was the only human. Yeah, he was the only human, yeah. And he painted it. He paints... There's a painting of it, and it's like his face is front and ah and there's like a dog behind him and a dog coming from each side it's it's pretty awful he's basically just masturbating at the pound just no this is all happening on the streets you know because he's out and he's out on the streets now uh yeah it's it's i saw a thing

on reddit and it was like every photo of a photo of Cricket from each and every episode he's been in and to see the progression and going from like a clean-cut Catholic priest, good-looking guy, to the burn victim he is now is just... He's like, we need to use you. Which part of me do you need to use? That little like that dog vagina scar he has right here. He's like, Frank, get that with a trash can. You gave this to me when he hit me with the

trash can. Dogs are trying to fuck it. I guess it looks like a dog pussy. Like, when he's struggling to talk. Frank's like, there must have been an edge. Oh, shit. And he just leaves. I really hope the season picks up. The newest episode.

Yeah, it's been a real bad season so far. Has anyone followed this Planned Parenthood thing? Yeah, a little bit. So I guess that those guys might get in a little bit of trouble for faking that video, huh? I hope, maybe think, I don't know. Did I miss a joke? Why did Phil double over?

I just interjected that they kill babies. Like that was their thing. Oh, I see. Yeah, I see. It's true. Maybe Phil can fill in blanks i don't know whose nose is for kyle knows it better than me but some months ago this guy dalidean i'm horrible with names um formed a thing called the center for medical progress and

he put together a fake video that like proved planned parenthood sold baby parts for profit right it was total horse shit but it had a big impact on like the national abortion conversation and uh um and by the way just to reiterate total horse shit not true edited faked whatever um that's not opinion it's now been ruled in court right like he's just he's fucked on this he's a bad guy i think but he's a hero to the people who are anti-abortion and i think as we all know your standard of proof when it backs up things you already agree with is pretty low and um and that's where they are you know it was in the presidential debates right carly farina referenced these tapes and the and the extraction of body parts and selling them on the baby body part market. civil suit because they clearly like turned this guy and twisted his mind a little bit with their

rhetoric which is bullshit lies pushed him over the edge cinema you know do you remember what his quote was he said i'm a warrior for uh babies he said i'm fighting for jesus christ or something like that and you can clearly draw the draw the lines there where you a b to c it was a terrorist attack by christians right most of our i was gonna say most of our terrorist attacks are by muslim i don't really that's pka stat total bullshit but they are you think that's true yeah yeah are we so far gone that we can't even say that now i have no idea what's true if you're gonna define every killing is a terrorist attack are the hindus really bringing the hammer down on us is it the scientologist striking fear into the heart of the Middle East?

What I'm saying is, if you define some Christian shooting at Planned Parenthood as a terrorist attack, there might be one of those every weekend that doesn't make the news and therefore Christians do the bulk of them. In this country, in this country, I think that it might be more Christians than Muslims.

Terrorist attacks on U.S. soil. I think you might have more Christians than Muslims, but on global terror, which is how I like to come up with my numbers. They're the varsity team. Yeah, yeah, Muslims are definitely the varsity terrorist team. Yeah, yeah. So anyway, this guy spawned what I call a terrorist attack

against Planned Parenthood in an attempt to scare everyone out of doing this, and that's what terrorists do in the name of Christ though this time and it looks like he's losing a legal battle so in my head I was like oh this is kind of nice the bad

guy is getting a lot of negative attention for doing bad things but that's not how he's reacting he's like this is great everyone's hating me and everyone's loving me's not how he's reacting. He's like, this is great. Everyone's hating me and everyone's loving me. Bring it on. He's filing more court motions that he can't win. The worst kinds of negative attention can sometimes be brilliant for you. I remember when the Trayvon Martin thing happened, there was this guy who started making Trayvon Martin paper silhouette targets. Okay. So imagine a picture of Trayvon Martin superimposed over like a silhouette pistol target that's

got the zones of contact and stuff and different points for each one. A buck a piece and he sold a million of them in like two fucking days. He knew the hate was there. He knew that there was a motivated group of customers. And he took advantage of it in a really awful way. But today, he's still got, well, depending on how he invests his money, he's still got a million dollars and nobody remembers that shit but me. Like, come on.

You know, we talked about respecting the scam. That's an opportunism I can kind of see the value. It's like the response girls. Wait, wait, wait. You're more on board with this than response girls? I am. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm being equal. Because partially

because I don't think, I feel like Trayvon was equally at fault as George Zimmerman in that whole situation at least. At least. To me, it never struck me as a thing. I never bought the narrative of the poor innocent guy who's being gunned down by this psycho. You did too.

You bought it right on the show. Yeah. You saw the 12-year-old picture of him in the Hollister hoodie, and you're like, it was a Hollister. He looked like a – is it a cherub face? That's not racist, is it? No. I have no idea. He was this angelic, childlike, Hollister whatever, right?

And meanwhile, he's on Facebook with like diamond teeth holding guns and shit. But thug life. But they grabbed this picture of him as a kid and made him look like that's who just got shot. Once I knew all the facts, once I knew all the facts, I didn't think that either of those individuals were good people. I didn't think that either of those individuals were good people. And I felt like it was way too murky to say confidently that Zimmerman was an outright bad guy who did something wrong and deserved to go to jail. That's how I felt about the whole thing. I didn't like either of those individuals.

And I thought they were both probably bad people. But, yeah, the idea of making those targets and making a million dollars off of it. I didn't know Zimmerman was bad until months later like i thought it was a justified shooting right like he he was kind of following a guy around acting like a cop but he was like in charge of community watch and that's kind of what you do kind of and um then this like zimmerman didn't initiate the fight and he was getting his ass kicked there was like a question as to whether or not he was getting his ass kicked i guess he outweighed him trayvon martin stuff no trayvon Martin was way more athletic, varsity football.

And Zimmerman's face was bloodied the fuck up. He looked like he was a UFC fighter. Yeah, the back of his head was all bloody. The back of his head was bloody because he was getting his ass kicked on asphalt. And that's the pounding it was taking. And then while that happened, he pulled out his gun and killed him. That's, I mean, if if you forget which is a big thing how he didn't like retreat from the situation initially he sort of followed him

um that's the definition of a good shooting right if trayvon had just started that and got in that position and then he shot everyone would be like dude good shooting no story well i'm glad you've signed off on this because i was waiting to ask if you wanted to be part of a very exciting new investment. We're going to be making targets of a different shooting victim every week. It's going to be like a loot crate system where you never know who you're going to get.

You know, one week it's a little white kid that a cop shot, 16-year-old with an ounce of pot, got gunned down in South Carolina. That's our target this week. And next, it'll be something new every week. That'll be good. I think if we just sell victims of police shootings that we can sell them to police.

Well, you licensed the idea to me, Taylor, since you came up with it first and then we could work out some sort of profit sharing. You know, the handy thing about my licensing is that there's no upfront fees and I'll offer you promotion in graphics. Excellent. Graphics is what I need. That was the problem. I've been doing it since a year before

YouTube was around. 12 years. Anyway, that Trayvon Martin thing for me is like this is so far in the past it's weird to even talk about now. I was like Kyle where I was hook, line, and sinker like

this guy was just trying to kill a black kid. Like, this is bullshit. At first. This Hispanic that we're pretending is a white guy, you know, so out of control. And then the more information that came out, the more I was like, oh, ew. I kind of feel like a dick for just jumping right into it like that. I know. This story is so old for me that I can't recall everything.

You know who I instantly thought was it? I know that. I don't think I agree. Remember CBS cbs news edited the the 911 tape that was the big one that's what i think i think was it cbs for sure yeah and they edited it to say uh coon instead of cold i don't remember that i do remember that they edited they they're like it's a black guy but they but you didn't get the question're like, it's a black guy. But they removed the part was, is it a black guy? Yeah, yeah. Or the question was something like that.

So the audio log, the original audio log goes something like this. 911 operator says, what does he look like? Is he a black guy or a white guy? And he responds, he's a black guy. He looks like he shouldn't be here. He's wearing a hoodie. But then they edit it, and she's just like, well, what's going on, sir? And he's like, it's a black guy. He looks like he shouldn't be here. He's wearing a hoodie. But then they edit it, and she's just like, well, what's going on, sir? He's like, it's a black guy.

He shouldn't be here wearing his hoodie. White power, white power. And then you could just hear, like, that old-timey Hitler music playing in the background. They really butchered him. That editing. See, like, a lot of this stuff you can almost get away with not you know like accidents happen oh you just that's in your own head the editing as a guy who's edited plenty of audio like i dude that is 100 intentional it is fairly difficult to edit a conversation and not have it

sound like a jump cut right that only happens if you're if you intentionally do that which obviously they did so yeah they intentionally made the pacing sound natural even though it's edited yeah it was a terrible terrible thing super well i'm really glad three white dudes have signed off on this shooting yeah it's all good now yeah i can't believe the three of you did that it's crazy yeah i know the three of you guys are gonna get some backlash on this and 12 floridian jurors agreed with us, and that's all that matters. Oh, well, if the standard is

Florida, then fuck me. Yeah, it absolutely is. I don't know. I mean, once again, it's been such a long time, and I have to talk about everything every day, but I don't know. If you have a gun, you throw yourself into a situation, there's a bunch of different ways things could have gone down. If I saw a guy with a

gun and I thought he was going to kill me, and I tried to start taking swings at him because I think that's my only way out, I don't know. Could have gone down different ways. Yeah. It could have. Yeah. It went down the worst possible way. I don't mean the results. I don't mean the results. I mean the way that

the way we got to the results, result right because you guys are talking about it like it's definitely in stone and i don't know that's it doesn't seem like that legally it doesn't seem like there is enough to put him away for it because there was enough evidence that he was defending himself but it doesn't feel right that he just got off you know which i guess his life is pretty much ruined from it so He's been in like two or three little mix-ups with the law since. Like there was one time where it seemed like

he saved a woman in a car accident. You were like, oh, George Zimmerman's like a Superman. He's going around shooting criminals and saving white women. We like this guy. And then all of a sudden it was like, oh yeah, and then he domestic abuses these women and throws bottles at them and stuff.

And he's brandishing his gun, threatening his girlfriend. Who among us doesn't throw the occasional bottle and point the gun? I would actually be interested in what his net worth is. Because didn't he do that artwork that sold for crazy bank? So he's been smart. So he does appearances at these gun shops that are like, you hear about these gun shops that have like a no Muslim policy.

Or, you know, they'll make the AR-15s with like a crucifix on them so the Muslims can't shoot them and stuff like that. He'll go to places like that and do appearances like, come on down, Jibab's gun shop. So the Muslims can't shoot them? Yeah, yeah. Do they think Muslims are vampires? What the fuck are these? Do they think Muslims are vampires? What the fuck are these? So what they'll do is on the grip of the era 15, they'll put like a crucifix

and like a bible verse or something like that. So that it burns their hand when they try and It won't burn their hand, but you know, if they're abiding by their rules, they won't want to grab them. I think it spikes tactical. It's the same people who made my doom buggy. I think they're the ones who do it.

They should etch like a silhouette of two men kissing so that hyper conservatives can't shoot. It's like, oh Jesus Christ, you know. Adam and Steve right on the handle. The safety mechanism should be a little dildo that comes out of a stock that you have to suck while you shoot. That's all the gun control you'll ever need. Fuck you guys. Nobody wants to do that. Was it Phil Zimmerman? Is that the guy's name?

No. What was his name? I'm looking him up. What's his name? George. George, that's it. Oh, Kyle. I thought you were saying that George Zimmerman had a brother.

I was like, what? If I were George Zimmerman... You really got to look out for Phil Zimmerman. George Zimmerman should have immediately been like, I am Jorge Zimmerman. He'd have got out of that shit a lot faster. They thought he was white and just really... I think he's half white, half Latino, if I remember correctly.

Terrible guy, definitely. Yeah, he should have started pretending like that as soon as he got on the phone talking about Trayvon, really i think he's half white half latino if i remember correctly um terrible guy definitely yeah he should have started pretending like that as soon as he got on the phone talking about trey vaughn where he's like can you see him right now sir he he should have asked for a spanish translator just to make sure we're all on the same page to cover his bases yeah it says i don't want them calling me white in a week when this goes sour. Two million dollars. I'm not surprised. It's right here on the internet, so it's gonna be true. He does these appearances at gun shows and he draws some decent sized crowds.

He's getting thousands of dollars to appear at these gun shows and gun stores when they do big anti-Muslim rally sales or whatever the fuck they're doing. I don't know. What a piece of shit to go see George Zimmerman. What a piece of shit, right? He was probably the one who came up with the Trayvon Martin targets he was probably the guy I never knew the guy's name I just read that he did it and heard about it

there's a lot of money in fear and hate that's like a constant man how do I get in that business I think we should we gotta find that's the new arm of painkiller already we need a fear and hate arm merchandise we've got we've got atrion and fear and hate I want to hey man god damn it and we lost another if another if another if another democrat is elected president and they go after

guns more just keep your money in gun stocks. You kidding me? Anytime there's a shooting, anytime there's even a thought that someone might try and take a gun. The Democrats are absolutely going to be the next president. I feel like these make good commodities. I feel like if you keep arming yourself after a while, everybody's just, you know,

if they take everybody else's rocket launcher away, then doesn't that just increase the value of mine? That's true. I feel like when they start telling people that you can only have one barrel on your gun, I'll be there with the two barrels and they'll have to come to me if they want one. I'm all for a little more gun control. Seems like that could work out nicely.

No, I didn't mind that thing Obama did recently at all. Because basically what he was saying is, if you're in the business of being a gun store, but you don't have an FFL, stop. You've got to get one. Because there are literally guys who have business cards that say Mike's Guns, and they go every week to these gun shows

and buy, sell, and trade. And they're in the business of selling guns. They're selling hundreds a year, but they're not doing it under an FFL. They're just kind of hobbyists at it. Yeah, they're hobbyist gun salesmen. Is that illegal? It is now. It's becoming, yeah, yeah.

It's becoming illegal. But in the past, it wasn't. Because the deal is that I feel like I should have the right to sell my dad my Glock here without anybody fucking around or me going anywhere to do anything. I feel like I should just be able to. my dad my Glock here without anybody fucking around or me going anywhere to do anything. I feel like I should just be able to. It's my Glock. It's my dad. I should be able to sell it to him. We're both licensed concealed carry permit carriers

and all that shit notwithstanding. So I just feel like we should be able to. However, I don't think that I as a private civilian should be able to go to gun shows every single weekend and make my living selling guns but not have an FFL because you're just putting so many guns out on the street that have no documentation behind them. You have no idea who you're selling to. There are no background checks there. Then again, we get back to square one and the answer to the big question is if you want a gun, you'll have a gun, regardless of anything else.

That's just the end of the story. If someone wants a gun, they'll get the gun. In the U.S. There's 330 million of them. December was the biggest month for gun sales of all time. January was either more or close.

We're still in January. Oh, is it time for an ad read? Some would say. Smooth. Pick one. Which ad would you like to do? Movement Watches, Dollar Shave Club, or Squarespace.com? I'm already holding the watch. Okay, then.

Everybody I run into nowadays has some serious watch envy. I can see it in their eyes because Movement sent us some watches. Gotta be honest, I'm not sharing any. These Movement Watches bring some serious heat. Check them out. It was this little crowdfunded brand that is revolutionizing the watch game. They started to get a lot of press in places like GQ, Playboy. Ask Men said that they're the hottest watch company on the market. They're all about this idea that high quality doesn't have to break the bank, and they actually deliver. Probably why they have over one million

social media followers. Quality crafted watches start at just $95. If you try to get a watch like this at a department store, you'd be spending at least $400 or $500. Their style is minimalistic, clean, and sleek. You could wear this thing at the office during the day or out to the bars at night. It's new, it's sharp, and it's an all-day wear. Go to movementwatches.com slash pka today. We're hooking you up with 15% all-day wear. Go to movementwatches.com slash pka today. We're hooking you up with 15% off your entire purchase. That's movement spelled M-V-M-T, watches.com slash pka.

Link in the description, annotation on the side, all that cool stuff. Check them out. You know, if guns did get made illegal, Kyle, I'd be excited for the Nucky Thompson style rule that you imposed on Atlanta as the new kingpin there. You're the only one with less supply. I know that

it's become like a pop culture thing. The zombie preparedness became a whole industry. But I have to say, long before any of that stuff, my cousin and I were praying for the zombie apocalypse long before it was a pop culture thing when when if you even mentioned it somebody would be like what's this you know before that big wave of zombie movies around 2004 and going into like 2008 they were creating with 28 days later and the day after uh all those movies came out and

became really big and it still is zombies uh personally i wanted a comet a comet to and what would the comet do? It would wipe out the bulk of the population so that I could have everybody's shit. See, the problem with that is... See, I don't want the shit unless there are people to envy my shit. Like, if you just take all the people away...

That's like a... You're talking about Twilight Zone episode is what you're talking about where you're like, it's mine, it's mine! And then you're like, looking around for someone to praise you. Finally, time to read!

Thank you, great one. But I wanted the zombies. I wanted a complete breakdown of society, flesh-eating zombies sprinting around eating people, and I wanted to be able to utilize all my fun toys. In my scenario, it was lucky

me that me and a few friends were in a building with steel walls that didn't get impacted by the comet. Yeah. There was a movie. And I think that was the premise. It's night of the comet. Yeah. It's got a Robert.

Yeah. With Robert Beltran. That's a good movie. I hung on to that. Like in the same way that maybe when you were little, you wanted to be a superhero and you didn't completely give up on the notion that maybe you've got lurking superpowers until somewhere during puberty. Didn't it turn people who were directly exposed to the comet into powder, and there were these colored piles of powder everywhere? Exactly.

And the people who were only a little exposed turned into zombies. So if you were in a vault or something, you were good to go. Zombies. So if you were in a vault or something, you were good to go. Like the main character? If you were in a shed out of metal where you stored a lawnmower that wasn't sealed, then you were just a little crazy and you were kind of bad guys. And so I figured that we'd just get through the bad guys.

I don't know how exactly, but I was 12 and I was confident. And then we would just enjoy all the amazing stuff like there was a scene in there when the guy's like nice car and it's a ferrari he's like oh you like it i got 12 of them yeah i always like those movies uh omega man with charlton heston uh was one of my favorites it starts out and he's like i don't remember he's driving like a 65 69 camaro or 69 Mustang, but it's one or the other. Uh, maybe not even that correct year, but that body style.

And he's just driving through the, through the streets and he's got his eight track playing some cool song. And he, you know, he's, he's Charlton Heston. Look at like, uh,

10 commandments, Charlton Heston. He's looking good. He's fucking like riding in this convertible through town. And all of a sudden zombies attack. And he like whips the thing sideways, blasting a machine gun with one hand and driving with the other,

kills all the fucking zombies. And he happens to be at a Ford dealership. So he just hops out, walks over, and hops in a brand new Mustang this time and just spins ass, hauling out of there. That's a cool movie too. They're all a derivative of that same book, even the Will Smith movie, I Am Legend.

Yeah, I like that movie. Except that his situation seemed very difficult i would have died a long time ago yeah those vampires were scary they were like super athletic vampires and he somehow and they attacked him at night when he slept i sleep at night i can't that's what they did to a Mega Man. Yeah. So, look, I gotta ask this, like, why is it that you feel it so much more when that German Shepherd dies than you would when you found out about Will Smith's wife dying early

in the movie and his kid? And that happens time and time again in a movie. If a dog gets killed, John Wick. John Wick's a perfect example. They stomp his fucking puppy and you're like, fuck this! And he goes on and kills 74 people in response 74 kills a fucking movie

And none of us questioned it all of us were like keep it up keep it up yeah, fuck yeah break that one's neck Stab that one in the eye whatever they had it coming. They killed your beagle Yeah, and you just know one of those henchmen was walking around like god damn it just three more weeks and i get my masters and i'm done with this life i'm tired of being embroiled in this criminality well remember there was the one guy there was like the bouncer who was outside the russian nightclub where uh where um the the main guy who actually did the stomping is hiding out and and he just comes up behind him with the gun and he's like hey there hey there whatever your name is and he's like hey john you working tonight afraid so it's like how about you just take the night off he's thank you john it's like walks away it's fucking leaves uh

i really enjoyed that movie they're making a sequel it's coming out um i like that because of the gun fu as it's called you know the the particular uh shooting style that he was using that sort of combines sort of a martial arts element with really efficient really effective shooting techniques um he was using a lot of techniques that you see like um i don't know russian spetsnaz and people do is reloading techniques and stuff yeah it was all very legit and i i don't want to jump in on this go ahead he was the jiu-jitsu properly he reloaded there was never like you uh i don't i'm not one of those guys that can recognize every handgun but it'd be like you know he's got some glock in his hand he shoots 17 times and reloads and you can go through the

whole movie he never has like a 1911 with 30 shots in it like yeah you know commando would um what's that that means so much more in movies than you would think when you watch it you actually notice stuff like that, where you're like, oh, look at that. 7 plus 1, and he's out, and reloads. It's not... Because I recognized his gun. I've got that gun. He's running around with some HK pistols, and I'm like, I've got that gun. I know what's going on.

He picked a good gun. I was thinking, like, ah, this is pretty cool. But some movies, like Last Man Standing with Bruce Willis, which is kind of a new take of the old Western Clint Eastwood style, man with no name kind of thing, where you come into town, two rival gangsters, gangs, and you play them against each other. Last Man Standing is a very good movie, I think. One of Bruce Willis' better action-y movies, although Die Hard's the best one ever. But he's shooting 1911s, dual-wielding 1911s throughout the whole movie, and he dumps the magazines at every turn.

He sees a guy, he's like, and sends the guy flying through the air. And as cool as that Matrix bullshit is, it's not the Matrix that kind of takes me out of it. So when I saw John Wick making these accurate headshots and reloading the way he's supposed to and the jujitsu that he worked into it and all that stuff, I was a big fan of that.

You know what I would a big fan of that. You know what I would want in one of those Bruce Willis movies where he does that is just maybe like a three-minute scene of him in the bathroom of the complex that he's attacking with his feet up on the toilet trying not to get caught quietly loading a ton of magazines. They had that. They have a scene where he's literally in his room loading magazine after magazine before he goes to do it.

He walks in with a briefcase full of 1911 mags, and he's constantly ejecting both of them and loading them up real fast. It's a good movie. Well, back to your original thing, I think the reason people empathize more with the dogs is that you can't even, even like movies

have evil little kids, you know? All those Japanese horror movies, like little Asian girls are apparently a terror over there. Every turn they're causing some sort of ruckus. But dogs, like they don't even have a concept of morality and they're just intrinsically good most of the time if they're trained right. And so when they die, it's like, oh, he didn't even understand there was a threat. Like he trusted him.

Yeah. Not Jack, my old dog. That fucker would kill you. Yeah, there's a threat. He trusted him. Not Jack, my old dog. That fucker would kill you. Yeah, there's a part in... What's the movie where Christian Bale... American Psycho? Yeah, American Psycho. Remember when he stomps that homeless guy's dog to death?

Yeah, anytime that happens in the movie, that really affects me, much more so than a main character dying. What do you think the math is on it on it like one dog equals two babies as far as or no no no other way other way one baby equals three dogs how the baby dies no i think you had it right the first time and when i see a baby die i'm like oh yeah what a shame. But he just got started, right? He just got started. Yeah. When a baby dies, it's less of a loss of life because it was practically a potential person, right? But a dog, that was a full-fledged life.

It was in his prime, jumping around and licking people. Yeah, and dogs don't go to heaven. They don't have souls. So there's that, too. What I was saying was a goof but i'll tell you years ago like i watched um nypd blue do you guys know this tv show yeah yeah nypd blue a baby died and um i was so fucked but like i hadn't had kids or anything yet and i was like is that like a full murder when it's just a baby and sure enough I'm like they're all treating this like it's bad as a person dying

now I recognize that babies are people and I'm kind of coming around on that I remember when I had that big epiphany too what it's like babies are people too turns out according to the state of North Carolina babies are people too you're one of the last ones to give in on that point, you know.

Even as a – Phil, you have kids. How old is your oldest now? He's almost two. He's like two, three months old. Almost two. I don't know. So a lot of people said that they instantly connected with their baby, right? Like the baby is still covered in slime

and you're like, oh, you and I life bond forever. We talked about this, I think last time. Because you said you instantly bonded and I said that, what? No, you mean you're thinking of someone else? No, no, I've had many videos on this. It's well documented. All right.

Yeah, you're either thinking of someone else or you just had to. Because I know it took me about,, I was there and I was supportive and like, we had like a stressful moment because we thought like my wife was going to bleed out and like, there was, it was terrifying. But then three months in, he gave me like his first smile, like, which was a definite reaction. And that's when I like locked me in. But what about you? I think it took me longer, you know, like, like I think it's six months and I still confided them just to be like real pain in the ass luggage that leaked a lot.

And but somewhere six months, nine months or whatever, when they start to be able to engage you, even if it's not verbal, you know, it's like, they're definitely aware. They know you're not the other people, you know, your, your dad, um, or if not dad, at least one of the people I see all the time. And, uh, like I started to connect with my kids between six to 12 months and, and the hope, especially hope that it's my oldest. Um, months and and hope especially hope that's my oldest um she was one of those babies that like blew every benchmark out of the water uh by the time like a lot of babies like start to walk at 12 at 12 she was like running around and singing the alphabet like she was just fucking not a normal kid and uh um so you know i was able to connect with her, you know, at nine months or

something. So. Wow. Yeah. Like he's he he goes through words and he's been trying to string together sentences. And like now he doesn't fully sing songs, but he'll get like the beats to them and like the kind of sounds. But it's it's definitely it's definitely weird. I think my number one thing that i've told myself not to do is not to compare and contrast other kids to mine and mine like the other way that's like my main thing but it's always like kind of there yeah it's hard not to do so the um you know how they they measure your kids in three ways uh height but they'll call it length weight and head circumference and i would view those numbers like

school grades if she wasn't pulling 90 or better like what the fuck kid someone's 85 head circumference what's what we're slipping here guys get some applesauce in that kid so she was a she was like this giant talking singing running baby, like right from the early on. How do you find mixing it? Because I'm not fully aware. Do you work from specifically home or do you have like a sectioned off area for it or different? Yeah, I just have it. It was a one time a bedroom and then we've converted it to an office and that's where I do all my work. Because that's my number one thing is still trying to figure out how to balance the two

like even even today i don't know if you can do what i do but i feel really lucky that i'm home as much as i am like i actually work a lot of hours um my minecraft server room like sort of doubling down and how hard we're going at that and then there's the youtube thing and i've got all sorts of like buns in the oven that's not the right thing fish in the fryer whatever it is that you have i've got a bunch of them and um uh but even you know like i'll be here working and some of my work is stuff like live streaming but collins you can hardly see it for the people collins sits right there i have two cameras so i'll show you next um colin sits right there in that chair oh cool and um you know so i'll be here doing like sysadmin of one kind or

another and colin will be over there playing minecraft or doing something else and uh it's nice to me that i get to spend as much time with the kids you know i hope every minute she's home i don't miss any of it uh she's not home that much because she has uh she's in high school and she has plays and then she's on the debate team the speech team so she's i think she does too many extracurriculars too many yeah yeah i think i think my my number one fear other than the general fear that at some point something bad's gonna happen and i'm not to be able to stop those things, is having to deal with other parents. That is number one, the thing I am not looking forward to.

Really? Why is that? Yes. In what capacity? Just with our kids going to the same school and birthday parties. And I don't like a lot of people. I really don't. I have issue with just a lot of people. I really don't. I have issue with

just a lot of people. Oh, I would tell them that. Inform them. I have issues with lots of people. I'm not going to like you. No, no. Yeah, I was like, yeah, you know what? I like like maybe 10% of people and you're in the 90. Maybe don't lead with that.

Hold back. Keep that to yourself. Are you anxious about push i don't know if you were into sports or anything like that growing up a lot phil but are you anxious like you're gonna see your son getting into some sport and you're gonna push him into it and be like yeah you know we're going to practice like come on catch it catch it like just getting them really into it i can't tell i would i would be i'd be kind of excited if you want to get into sports just because but i'm also thinking it now from like a more uh parental perspective like i want him to get into soccer so that he can like learn to like team building you know like working

with other people but also be outside and athletic um but i don't know if he if he all of a sudden is interested in something i'm 100 100% going to back it. I know that I'm not, I wouldn't be a big fan if he got into football. I personally wanted to get into football, and I broke my arm during first practice, so I'm a big winner. You know, great.

But, I mean, if he wanted to do that, I'd support him. If he wanted to try to get into MMA, I'd support it, but I don't try to get into MMA, I'd support it. But I don't know. I think it would be cool if he was like an engineer, right? That's the lamest thing I could say. But I think it would be awesome because it's someone that can actually create something and add to the world. We were talking about the zombie apocalypse earlier. So many of us are just useless. I'm useless. Maybe the only ability, we were talking about

community leading skills for better or worse before the podcast. Maybe I have something similar to that. But, man, I'm done for otherwise. Like I can't, I can't, I can maybe, I can do a fire. I can build a fire because, you know, I went to a few camp sessions and that's like still a trick. But that's it. You want to link up with Richard immediately. Well, so that's always been my plan, but now he's all over the place.

That is a problem. If he's back on the East Coast or he's out in the desert somewhere, you're fucked. I need to get a satellite Batman phone when it goes down. Fucking double R's up in the air. He'll come save your ass. We had a good time. Double R's up in the air. He'll come save your ass.

We had a good time. We went and did a shoot in Texas a couple months back and shared a room for three or four days. We had a good time. Was that the one where you went through a building? Yeah, a house. We had an APC. We crashed through the house. He helped me film some stuff, and he shot some guns.

We did the video together. It's Armored Personnel Carrier, I assume. Yeah. For the guys who don't know APC's uh oh i thought that was the name of the company sponsoring the video no i didn't know that was okay when i think of someone that i i if if i lived another life i want to be it's it's richard ryan 100 like the dude was like i think it'd be kind of cool to go skydiving once and now he's like an expert wingsuiter yeah just in like a span of two years uh-huh and he was telling me last year he was like come up to Tennessee we'll do I don't remember how many jumps he said we do but it was like dozens per day he's like we'll get you

flight certified in like two days then you can do this and that and then we can do wingsuiting and I'm just like that sounds awful I really don't know about that wingsuit man because that seems like a I've seen his wingsuit videos he's lucky he didn't say that to me because I'd be buying a ticket I'd be I'd be like you know you make promises

like this I'll be there and I'd be flight certified you'd see me make boring videos of me laying in the sky like every other skydiver does. He flies though. He made that wingsuit for, I can't remember which thing it was to promote

for, but he made that. He jumped from space or something. That was different. He did the crazy jump. He did the crazy jump. Are you talking about the how to train your dragon? Where he got that school helmet and stuff. Yeah, yeah. That didn't work out the way he wanted it, I don't think.

But I thought his suit was very cool, and I'm glad he still made the video. The halo jump he did is where he, it's like skydiving, but you just go real fucking high to the point where you need your own onboard oxygen. And he got hypoxic on the aircraft and nearly died. It was... Wait, you know how to finish the story. He got hypoxic on the aircraft, nearly died, went back to the ground, took a few breaths, gave it another go that afternoon, and did it.

Oh, of course. Yeah, of course. That's the cool part. Was he wearing the wingsuit for that one? That's like those flying squirrel looking things, right? Some sort of... That's like when you see the military jump out where they've got the full helmet and the breathing mask and they're in a circle falling from high altitude.

It is. It's a high altitude jump. I don't remember how high it is. 30,000 feet? It's really fucking high. You couldn't pay me to do one of those wingsuit things. Maybe 50. I think some of those go up really high.

You wouldn't have to pay me to do a wingsuit thing. Well, have you guys gone skydiving? No, but I would. I would like to do it. I would do it. The opportunity hasn't come up. And, you know, it's fairly expensive to get into. And I've never really – it's never really come up.

And then at some point I was like, well, yeah, if somebody pays me to jump out of an airplane. But really, like, what am I going to – I thought one time it would be fun to parachute in while shooting a gun at some stuff and blowing it up but like what if we keep getting that wrong or like there's probably some law about me shooting from while i parachute in or something and i i know some special forces guys right yeah i know some special forces guys and they told me basically this is a true story this guy was a legit special forces guy who killed a bunch of people and he was telling me that his commanding officer watched that movie with steven seagal where they come parachuting in and snipe people off a rooftop and then land on the rooftop i think

it's executive decision or maybe um i don't recall it's one of those steven seagal bullshit movies so this legit military commander guy sees this movie and he tells his guys, he's like, why can't you do this shit? Fucking Steven Seagal can do it. And they're like, sir, that doesn't work. We need to operate our paddles when we're coming in to control our landing. And he's like, I'll show you. So he goes up with the rifle,

does the parachute thing. Sure enough, he needed those paddles. Breaks both his ankles. Yeah, that's what you get. That was Carl. You met you met carl dying in humiliating ways doing things that i didn't need to do like skydiving scuba diving fucking with sharks like all anything like that i want nothing to do with because at any time like i have swam with sharks before and all i could think about when i was doing it is like what am i one of these things yeah what if one of these fuckers gets a hair up its ass bites my thigh i bleed out before these undoubtedly uncertified dominicans

pull me back into their dirty boat and then what kind of certification could those dominicans get that would make you feel comfortable with the situation yeah in. I don't want my family's last visual of me to be a pulp of me in a wingsuit being scraped off a billboard by a team of felons doing community service. I'm so completely opposite with you right now. Like, the idea of living this long life where, like, maybe the years, you know,

maybe you get, there's years of decline and you're slowly not able to do the same things and and your friends are dying off and all that that doesn't interest me one bit like if by 50 i haven't crashed into something or exploded into a fireball things are not going right like like that's how you want to go when they write your obituary you want them to to need a little extra ink because they've never written any shit like that before you want to explode inside of a shark like yeah the shark took him down but he had a grenade you know you want you want to die a cool death that's how i want to go i want i want to be in the belly of a shark with a grenade that's how i want to go i want to go quietly in my sleep i don't think like when

you die in your sleep that it's just like i'm pretty sure you like gasp out you wake up and you're like ah the pain and you cry they just walk in the next morning and they're like it looks like he's still sleeping meanwhile his face is like a bunch of old man shit reeking in the face my dog died in his sleep last spring uh it definitely woke him up yeah yeah it sucked he was that would suck to be woken up to die poor guy yeah how terrifying you know that's that's awful poor dog i was sorry when your dog uh passed away i uh i you know i certainly had no relationship with him but he seemed like a good dog and he seemed like um like like to see him with colin i could tell that like that's a good

dog he was because colin's rough but he was our evil monster he was definitely team gamer tag uh totally heaven colin's colin's mussing his head up and like messing with his ears and if he gets in colin's way he's like get out of here that dog doesn't care that dog's just like okay yeah yeah but uh he looks at me like motherfucker look in there i will eat your asshole then fuck it he's just so hardcore you're so lucky he had this soft muzzle on his it's a great day and he had this soft muzzle on it so that it could open its mouth like just enough to get the tongue out and lap water up so it can still be a dog and survive but it can't take anyone's fingers off and he's holding it back and it's just looking at me like oh Like opening his mouth as much as he can and making this thing that's something between a roar and a growl

Just a real terror of a dog yeah He took a neighbor's arm off She had to get like a prosthetic like on Mad Max well everything you said was true up to this. I don't know how many stitches she had. It filled up to it. I don't know how many stitches she had but the policeman took a photograph of it with their cameras

and it was like a gnarled, curvy it was an ugly laceration. Yeah. It was really her fault for existing. It was her fault. It was her fault. It was.

Whatever. Fuck her. According to the state, it was her fault. You mess with the bull, you get the horns. You mess with Jack, you get a big Z-shaped scar on your forearm. Yeah. So dad started, the lumber shows up tomorrow for dad's man cave. Phil, my dad, and my mom don't get along very well.

And I think at some point my dad realized that like divorce is just far too costly. I think I'll just build my, so he's just building himself like his man cave over his like shop slash farm area. And at first when he described this man cave, like he didn't even know the term man cave. He was just like, I'm going to build me a a little a little building over there so i can hang out he's like i'm gonna put a tv in there and put some chairs and a bathroom and a shower and a bed in the back and a little kitchenette and a bar and i was like are you talking about building a new house dad like well it'll only be like 1500 square feet or something and i'm gonna put it, not really a house, but I'm just like, we're building a new house. They were over there today with a contractor.

He's going over what the walls are going to look like and describing basically what I just described to you, where everything went. He's building himself a ridiculous little man cave over there. I've got a bunch of random cool stuff that'd be fun to put over there. We're either going to put an air hockey table in or a pool table because I've got one of each to spare. We're making a cool little hangout spot over there. That's like the weirdest, most socially accepted male retreat.

It's just like, I'm going to have a room and it's just mine. Even though I potentially bought this home. I'm just going to hide over here. I've met a lot of guys who are real dominant alpha male type guys, but when they get home, the wife is something to be feared. Dan Tanner is like that. The guy

who owns Tannerite, the whole company. Not to put his business out there, but his wife is a very aggressive lady when she comes to talk to him. They have an interesting relationship. But his man cave was one of the coolest ones I've ever seen. He's got like this room above his garage. He's got a pool table and a full bar in there

and a bunch of other stuff. But the cool thing is he's got a bear feeder in his front yard, which is on a mountain in Oregon, and a 50-cow Barrett with a homemade suppressor stuck on it aimed out a window that opens up like this, and he sits there and drinks his vodka and waits on the bear to come, and he blows him away with his Barrett. He just kills bears as a hobby?

As a hobby, I'll tell you what he does. He gets up around 3 in the morning and he starts hiking out into the Oregon wilderness with his rifle and his thermal optic and his cleaning tools and his backpack. He's got one of those, it's like a big frame, really. He finds a herd of elk from like a mile away with his thermal optic at night when it's still dark,

and he starts stalking them until daybreak. Then he takes the shot at anywhere between 800 and 1500 meters with his sniper rifle. Then he goes and he butchers this animal that's like hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of pounds of meat and he packs it out one trip after another up to like seven, eight miles he's each way and packs out the entire animal carcass in a day, walking through mountain lion country, like legit mountain lion country where they are and it's their habitat. And I asked him, I was like, Dan, he's a big guy, six foot four, he's got like a sandpaper

beard, big square jaw, muscular guy, he's a big dude. I was like, what if a wildcat, you know, you're carrying 50 pounds of bloody meat on your back. What if a wildcat jumps you? He's like, that'd be a hell of a way to go, wouldn't it? Fighting that cat. Well, better than going home and seeing my wife just waking up. You know that every

step of that walk, he's just willing a mountain lion to come down and just a quick clip on the back of the neck. Every conversation, he just wants to be like, oh yeah, I didn't start the washer correctly. What's the name of that combustive powder that you invented that bought this house in the middle of Oregon? You bitch.

Like just wants to freak out, but he can't. He goes to his little cave, sits there and fumes. Oh, that's, that's discouraging. That's what I didn't want to say out loud. Oh, well then that, then we will not say that. Yeah. Right. I think that he needs say out loud. Oh, well, then we will not say that. Yeah, right? I think that he needs to upgrade from the man cave then and maybe get a little Kyle's dad man cave

where he gets his own little house on the Oregon Mountains. Yeah, that's rough. Yeah, he's a real nice guy. I've gotten to travel around and meet a lot of weird, crazy guys, but he was one of the really down-to-earth, really cool guy. He makes explosives for a living, does firework shows and shit like that and uh he took us up on a mountaintop we did a bunch of stuff with high explosives and uh we did like a couple hundred pound tannerite charge and there was a cabin back behind us that

the way i remember it was like dan knew the guy who owned the land and they were like buddies but so we had permission to be there and all, but long story short, I blew up so much shit that it shattered the windows in this cabin back behind us and it was like thousands and thousands of dollars worth of windows because every window in the cabin shattered,

so got a little shit about that, but we actually haven't been invited back in a while, but we had a good time. We had a real good time. Good. Phil, have you been following the presidential election? Yeah.

You know, it's been interesting. Do you have a favorite candidate? No, man. Like, both. It's either underwhelming or scary. That's, for the most part, on both sides. I mean, I don't know. I mean, we were talking about like masters

of manipulation. I did a piece on this on my show. I am in awe of the moves Trump makes. Like, because he always seems to hold like a baby in front of him so he doesn't get shot. I was kind of just winging it on the show, but it's like when Ted Cruz took a swing at him

to something that even annoyed me, where it was like, like what was he he has new york values yeah so talking about like his liberal past and being pro-abortion stuff like that and then he was like do you mean 9-11 and then it was just like oh and then even ted cruz was like i fucked up i should not even try to take it i've never seen anyone play the 9-11 card successfully until Trump, right? They asked Hillary, like, what would you be different about – what would be different about your presidency that wouldn't make you just the same old, same old? And she's like, well, I'm a woman and 9-11. And it's like, what?

Yeah, did you just say you're a woman and 9-11 in response to – maybe I got the question wrong. You're not far off. No, that's pretty much bullshit. You're paraphrasing pretty well. And it was crap. But Trump pulled the 9-11 card. It's like New York values.

We came back. We were there. The smell of death, this and that. And he just really outlined it. And I believed him. And I don't believe much of what he says. But I believe that. It's not so much that he's really believable,

it's that Hillary is... There's not a genuine bone in her body. Nothing she says seems like you can take it at face value. Everything is cold and calculated and there's a bunch of people in the background with hunchbacks, ghouls, giving her all the statistics of, you know, oh, my lord,

you're pro this tonight and then she has to go up there and spew it nothing about her is trustworthy I really hate her did you see the link that she has sent here this vine no oh it's what if you click it it's what

Ted Cruz said earlier tonight in the debate I believe it's like a five second bit pretty funny everyone on this stage is stupid fat and ugly Ted Cruz said earlier tonight in the debate, I believe. It's like a five-second bit. Pretty funny. And everyone on this stage is stupid, fat, and ugly. And everyone on this stage is stupid, fat, and ugly. I'm a maniac. And everyone on this stage is stupid, fat, and ugly. I'm a maniac.

Because I know we missed it tonight. Is this in reference to what Donald Trump would would would have said yep yeah okay yeah so trump's move is super interesting tonight uh i want to talk about this for a little bit yeah um for people that don't know we're recording this on a thursday and it's the i think the last republican presidential debate before the iowa caucuses it's being hosted by fox Now, Trump has an issue with this woman, Megyn Kelly, who's like one of the main Fox News anchors. Called her a bimbo this week.

Okay, yeah. So she asked, she quoted him on a couple sort of anti-woman things he had said over the years. He used to get into these barbs with Rosie O'Donnell and more. And she said, you know, you come off as anti-woman,

you want to speak to that. And he felt like he was treated unfairly. And she said, you know, you come off as anti-woman, you want to speak to that. And he felt like he was treated unfairly. The truth is, it seems like every question they ask, every presidential candidate kind of pokes at a weak spot and asks them to defend it. But Trump feels like it's unfair when it happens to him. And now he's boycotting this Fox News debate. Now he's boycotting this Fox News debate. And I sometimes watch politics, not just, you know, rooting for my favorite guy or my favorite issues, but as chess. Because I find it really interesting to see the moves and the counter moves that they make.

So Trump, by not going, when Trump goes to these debates, I never think he wins. I always think he does well enough. You know, he had his moments, but it's not like we all walk away saying, the Trump show was incredible at this debate. He's just fine. I feel like Trump has found all the... Trump's support is what it's going to be and it's not going to go up

and it's not likely to go down. Trump supporters are Trump supporters. He's not like a standard candidate where it could go up and down every week. He just hangs on to what he's got week in and week out. True. So this debate was not going to be an event for him, and it certainly wasn't going to help him. The other debates aren't giving him big jumps in the poll,

I don't think. But by skipping this, he did kind of a risky move. It's easy to throw stones at him for skipping it, right? You can do the thing like Fox News in a bad move, you know? It's easy to throw stones at him for skipping it, right? You can do the thing, like Fox News, in a bad move, I think. Fox News is supposed to be fair and balanced. They are a news organization. We know they're not,

but don't make it so easy to know that they're not. They issued a press report saying the word is that the Ayatollah and Putin are going to treat him unfairly if he becomes president, right? And it's like, you know, you can't handle some hardball.

Why the fuck are you running for president? Fox news said that. No, they shouldn't have, they're supposed to be news. They just made him right. You know, they made him right that they target him kind of.

but, uh, um, just the same. Now everyone's talking about him and isn't he holding some like counter event? He's doing a charity thing for veterans yeah yeah and that's what i was saying with the the holding the baby in front of him because if you don't support him who all of a sudden somehow trump

is the little guy compared because he's the he's the anti-establishment candidate even though he's a billionaire with his his small money uh but that's what I was going to say. They raised $6 million tonight. That's huge. He knows that everyone's going to be talking about him but he also, I think, knew that if there was anyone that was moderating that could potentially make him look foolish,

it would be Megyn Kelly. I think ultimately it comes down to him not wanting to deal with that again. I'm not a fan of Fox News, but I have a lot of respect for Megyn Kelly. She is unstoppable on the issue. She to me is like the right wing's Jon Stewart. I feel like in today's atmosphere it's very difficult to successfully argue with

a pretty blonde woman on TV. I feel like it would be real hard for Trump to win any argument with her or look good in any kind of an argument with her just based on that. I feel like he'll look like a sexist, he'll look like a misogynist if he goes anywhere other than above the belt, and I don't feel like she's held to the same thing. You might be right. Maybe that is partly why she does well, but I feel like she always does well.

She does. She seems bright, and she didn't used to be like that. She used to be a bubblehead, and it was almost like intentionally so and i think she's a stanford graduate like she's a smart person they got that one chick who used to be uh stern talks about this all the time one of the he loves fox news he loves watching it for the hot chicks and uh this one this one girl they were looking at what her um her background was like journalism like broadcast what is it uh it was she was a Zumba class instructor. That's what it was.

So as you can imagine, somebody who's a Zumba class instructor has a great core and some real great legs. And that's all you need. Great legs. And to be able to read. So Trump boycotting this debate is a super interesting move. They're all going to go on there and say, do you want a president that's afraid of the hardball questions? Do you want a president that only accepts home court? And that's a fair thing.

They're all going to say he's scared. And, of course, they're taking shots at him when he can't defend himself. There's a Vine we just watched. But, you know, we're talking about him. Would we be talking about him if it was just the 12th debate? Well, I mean, I think, think Kyle I think you have a point like they're the people that are already going to vote for him those people are not going to be swayed

like so I don't know I think it's not fair to say he's not able to defend himself right if everyone's showing up to the fight and then you don't show up because you don't think that it's going to be like fair and then people talk about you because you're the frontrunner. No one's going to talk about the frontrunner.

That's silly. I hear you, but I'm still not wrong, though. He's not there to defend himself. Should they be attacking him? Of course they should. Because he's not there. I think you're technically right in that he is physically not there, but it is of his own choosing.

I'll tell you what the tale of the tape will be. It will come when we find out what the ratings for both things were. We'll see if Trump got more eyes over there, you know, raising cash for veterans than the entire rest of the field got on Fox News. If it comes back that the ratings plummeted, you knowed by a significant margin, then who the fuck saw him look bad anyway, right? As far as his supporters are concerned, he's off being Robin Hood somewhere, while the rest of those guys with 1% or 5% of the vote are arguing, calling him names, and he's not even there.

He's going to say, look, I wasn't even there. They talked about me for eight out of the 60 minutes. Look at this. I feel like he can't lose in this situation. He's not there to say anything stupid, and that's a big part of being good at politics. I think it's incredibly interesting because he can lose. They can get bigger ratings.

It might happen. And there might be a lot of people who take shots at him. They could say New York values, and now he's not there to deliver his 9-11 response like he was last time um he can look weak by being scared off by megan kelly and that's exactly how i see i see him as scared off from megan kelly um i don't i feel like this is that this isn't about megan kelly this is about that guy that owns fox news he doesn't like that guy they have it it. They have an issue with one another. That's what's going on here. He literally thinks he's depriving them of ratings. He thinks

that he is the big draw of this thing. He is. He is. You're going to see it. Wait until those ratings reports come out. Trump is going to look like a genius. His poll numbers will not go down. I'll call it right now. If anything, they go up. I'm not going to say he's not going to go up five points, but he'll go up a point.

He will not be hurt by this. If anything, he'll be helped by it. If any of his competition over there on the Fox News channel steps in shit, they're just going to look all the worse because the only people watching are their own constituents. I think you're right. Trump fans aren't watching. You have a situation

here where he could show up at the debate and almost guaranteed break-even. Let's pretend we're betting, right? Sure. Guaranteed break-even was on the table and he's winning. But instead he rolled the dice. He might win and he might lose. I think he wins.

I think he wins. But I wasn't so sure two days ago who was winning. And if nothing else, gosh, some political theater. Knowing that he raised $6 million after hearing that, if that that's a that's a big chunk of change it just occurred to me that's for charity though not yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that that would be like a real dick if he skipped this to make a bunch of money for himself hillary on the other hand right so hillary is getting blasted about receiving all this money from banks and investment companies and things like that you know the bernie sanders out there saying i'm gonna clean up wall street and this joker over here is taking money from

wall street you know she should be wearing her nascar outfit with the golden socks logo on it and such so that's what he's saying while he's saying this she goes to philadelphia and does another like fundraising thing for an investment bank investment firm yeah and uh the name of it too was so like hoity-toity i forget what it was but it was it was bad and uh it's like you you can't write this i hate that expression you can write fucking anything but um you know like this is like it was fiction it is she's just doing it now she was scheduled to talk to two more investment companies in new y York for her fundraising tour. And she bailed because she's getting crushed.

She's getting burnt on this accepting money from big banks. So she sent her daughter to talk to the banks and get the money while she goes back to Iowa and campaigns. She is only one point up in Iowa with like three or four points as the margin of error. I really want Bernie to beat her. I really, I want Bernie to win just to see Hillary lose. I would savor it so much because, alright look, look at Hillary Clinton and let's sum her up, you know. It seems like her life has been a real amazing climb to power and prestige in one way or another. You know, Senator, First Lady, all these accomplishments.

He's great. Secretary of State. Bumps along the way, but carry on. All these incredible accomplishments. The feather in the cap is his presidency. She wanted it last time so badly. And she was ahead in the polls. She was way ahead.

10, 15 points everywhere. And then Obama came and Obama mania happened. There was Obama girl. And it was just a, it became a thing. And Obama crushed it. I beat her in a dance competition. You did beat her in a dance competition. Soundly. Soundly. Whooped her ass. She had no fans.

She was nice. Yeah. I don't know where I was going. Hillary feathering the cap, presidential. Yeah, yeah. I feel like it. So if she loses this time, if she does not become president next year, this is going to crush her this year. It's going to crush her in a way that I don't think many of us can fathom. I feel like this would be a huge emotional blow, like a failure in her life that on her deathbed she would think back to if she fails and i want that i don't know man i get up my world's tiniest violin for this like oh were you not president only first lady and senator no no i'm not gonna feel any compassion i'm just i'm just i'm just

relating to how she's going to feel i think if she loses this second run at being the first female president and all and all that comes along with that. I feel like she wants it really, really badly and if she doesn't get it, it's going to be a real blow to her and I want that. I hope there's physical pain. It's like that South Park episode where choosing between a douche and a turd sandwich out there. I don't like any of these fucking candidates.

Trump's a fucking maniac. All that wall stuff and xenophobic mania. It's silliness. It's crazy. And he's playing to the least common denominator. And there seems to be a good many of those out there. But then you got Sanders over there who, like we were talking about earlier, I feel like Sanders' version of the United States would fit in real well

in like the Star Trek future where you don't have that whip of you don't require that whip of capitalism to keep the masses moving forward everybody just wants to be amazing in the Star Trek universe you know you don't need a job but everybody wants one and they want to

aspire to greatness to further themselves and their friends and family and their way of life. To be part of a team and productivity just seems wired to their DNA. We're not there yet. That's how I feel about Sanders, if I'm being honest. I feel like he's got a wonderful vision for the way he wants things to be, but we're not there yet. If nobody's homeless and everyone has healthcare and you don't have to work and there's a minimum standard of living that somehow includes healthy food

and a warm apartment with air conditioning in the summer. Any education your heart desires. Free education, all that stuff. I feel like there is too big a portion of the population that will be like, oh, there's free rides? Someone else will pull the train? Why would I pull the train? There's a huge swath of the population that would fall into

that camp like i think that the whole like free education thing i think that when that does get going if it ever does like at least discounting it for some people they should start with things like i don't know engineering physics fields of computer science things like that to incentivize people to get into things that are useful there should never be you should never be able to sign up and get a master's in underwater basket weaving that should not be a thing uh you shouldn't be able to get one in you know uh mesopotamian studies oh come on studies or some nonsense just or something we need those degrees some of those egyptologists the fact that's a real thing what the fuck What you need at least one Yeah, let that guy buy his degree when you have one Egyptologist

That's alive and someone else comes into the school and is like you know what I'd really like to study Egyptology I should take out a history channel hiring until that other guy died Yeah, they've got one guy and that's the worldwide quota for Egyptologists that we need. There really are so few that I would recognize that one guy who's an Egyptologist who's always on Discovery and History if I saw him. He's this little brown-skinned guy. He's bald. He's got glasses. I totally recognize him.

You're right. Yeah, I just feel like the Bernie world that he's trying to create is just going to be too many guys riding the train and not enough guys pulling it so that's how i feel about bernie and then and then you got hillary who i feel like might be a bit of a villain i feel like she might be a little evil in the in the inner core i just don't think i don't think she's an honest person i think she's a bad person and at best at best she's that standard slimy politician that that she's the stereotype of slimy politicians yeah you're kind of describing her husband there which was a pretty successful presidency i think her her husband did do a pretty good job yes but but i don't think that she's her husband

and and i if i would vote for bill clinton i'm not voting for Hillary, though. No fucking way. Misogynist. Okay, whatever. I think she's probably got more testosterone running through her body than George W. ever had. She's pretty butch. It's not that I think a woman can't handle the fucking job. Clearly, she can handle just about anything. I don't want her handling. I don't want her hand at the wheel up there. I feel like she really, you know, it seems like an obvious issue for me to talk about, but like gun rights is a pretty big deal to me, you know, and I feel like

she's the one candidate who like might set her sights on gun rights as a big major issue thing in her campaign. Maybe, you know, Obama health care and uh... closing get mo i think which is going to do before his terms up i think he's gonna hang uh... in those will feathers in his cap along with killing a some of the lot and then few other things hillary might want uh... of a full assault ban uh... you know to be one of hers i don't trust her in any anyway

there's no candidate i would i would uh... not prefer over hillary she's my least favorite candidate out of all of them, to be honest. That O'Malley guy? Sign me right up. Let's go. That Kasich guy? Sure.

Why not? Even Huckabee. Get Huckabee in there. I don't fucking care. Oh, that would be a hoot. No, no. I would love to see those jowls jiggling. That is not a good reason to vote for president.

No, no. See, I feel like if you take away the gun issue, I actually feel like I line up with Hillary on sort of this moderate liberal thing, like it's a little bit left of center. More closely, I like Hillary on the issues, but Hillary and Trump I rate last in honesty and integrity. Sanders is first in honesty and integrity. Sanders is first in

honesty and integrity, but he's not first on issues with me. So I don't have a home. It's difficult. It's a douche and a turd sandwich. I won't vote, but I will enjoy. It's going to be fucking entertaining. God, I want Trump to do well. I want him to go as deep in this as possible.

I hope he becomes the president. Second place with Palin as VP. I want him to be the president. I want, I honestly do. Now, the more I think about it, the more I want Donald Trump to be president just so I can watch. It'll be so fucking entertaining. Every news conference, if you hear he's doing, you know every now and then the president

like takes over prime time television and has an address. I'm tuning the fuck in. I'll buy a package for that you could i would subscribe to his podcast like like everything i would be so involved with the executive branch of our government philly d who's your guy i don't have one right now not not in any way no i'm not there are no we'll then talk about your candidates the candidates right now um i think hillary is a master of pain well not even a master just uh just a panderer oh my god the pandering that that clip of her dabbing on ellen will haunt me forever hello my fellow kids yeah um

my incisors are more dull after having watched that and just teeth ground through the whole thing where it's just i don't know and that i mean trump's interesting from a business perspective but morally it uh i don't know it's just i feel like don't you want to see him build that wall come on a great wall a great wall you don't even have to pay for it. It's just frustrating, man. There's very few good points. The interesting thing about a Bernie Sanders is I like where he is morally. I don't know how fucked I would be as a business person. That's my concern.

So I think the thing is also I need to take a deeper dive on probably the top six candidates just so that I can make like an informed decision. Because for the most part, like people aren't talking about plans. They're not talking about like the actual like how you would do stuff. Like the whole Muslim ban thing, the asking someone if they're muslim like that's the way you stop people from entering the country that's stupid like that's my problem anybody who won't eat bacon just wave the bacon that's my issue is he said it and then my my my my brain goes how would you even enforce that you just say are are you Muslim? One in this country, you have to eat a Baconator at the gate.

You may not vomit. No vegetarians, no vegans cut them out too. Trump brings Wendy's on as a sponsor for Ellis Island. Starts the whole old-timey immigration process up. Everybody's out there eating Baconators coming through the gates to America.

Yeah, they all have to get new last names based on what they do. Anybody who won't eat a Baconator, he sends to the wall. He's going to be like, we'll take the people here and we'll put them in, we'll call them internment camps. And, you know, I think it's the

original Trump idea. Never been done before. FDR. FDR did that. No, I know. I think the Fine Bros did that. That's how you do it, Taylor. Bring it back around. Yeah, but I don't have a dog in the fight right now. I feel like I'm not gonna, but I pick one anyway. I don't think any rational person does have a dog in the fight right now.

And that is the beauty of our political system. Trump's number one. And it's the curse of it. I'm far more interested in him actually getting the nomination. right now. And that is the beauty of our political system. Trump's number one. And it's the curse of it. I'm far more interested in him actually getting the nomination because so many people from the party have spoken out against him. And the question is, is he going to have that much of a lead when it comes down to it? Because at that point, they're essentially going to be at his mercy. Because if he has a lead, even though he's signed a piece of paper or whatever saying

that he's not going to run against him as an independent. Did he? Well that's, wait go for it. I heard like in like the first debate they were asking him if he would say, he was like how many of the candidates here would take a pledge right now not to run as a third party candidate? Trump would not agree. He's reversed his position on this.

So yeah, in a later one he reversed it but but he could very much have the argument, I'm up in the polls, you haven't given it to me, there's no reason I should, if you're not going to keep your word I'm not going to keep mine, and then completely screw over the Republican party. What would he call his party? I don't know. The Trump party. The money team.

It would have to be. I want to introduce you to my VP candidate, Floyd Money Mayweather. He comes like, yeah! The champ is here. Everyone's just so conflicted. What? That's how he gets the black vote.

There's all these racist people like, I don't know who to vote for now. VP's black. They're doomed. Yeah, if Trump brought in floyd money mayweather as his illiterate vice president i think that would be a real winning fucking team but i mean hell a couple years ago he brought they brought palin on and i mean potato potato yeah real bump originally god damn i will say this though, at that first Republican convention back in 08, I think, 07, when Palin went up there and had that big speech, she didn't seem stupid then. It's like something

happened. There was a time when I heard that speech, I was like, wow, she's eloquent and well-spoken and goddamn, she's getting all these conservative women fired up talking about mama grizzlies and all this shit. Something about what's the difference between a mama grizzly bear and a soccer mom. A pit bull and a hockey mom. Something about lipstick or whatever. She's really cool.

Then from there, it was like she got a new writing team. Maybe there was a writing strike in her campaign or something, and she had to get some scabs to come in, and they weren't literate. They all left when all the writers for the office left, and she was left to her own devices with her Twitter account. I can see Russia from my house, and they're all watching it there, like, oh, God, we're gonna have so much fucking work to do when this strike is over. Jesus Christ. At least job security, you know? Thank God for that. Did you see her endorsement of Trump? Did you see that video? If not, we've got to watch it.

I mean, it's outrageous. It is humiliating. You have to see it with captions on. None of us have ever done anything so embarrassing. I haven't seen it. I can't wait. Hold your horses. Most of us have never done anything.

Yeah, I saw it. And thankfully, I saw it with captions. So every stutter and jumbled word. and she'll start a thought, not finish it, carry on some other thought. And you can, like, I don't know what she did, skip a line in the teleprompter or something? It didn't make any sense. I respect the rhymes, though. She doesn't care. Does she rhyme throughout it?

Really? Yeah, it's like, clinging, singing oh god i'm trying now i want to see it all right let's see what we can do gospel singing bible clinging motherfucking sugar trucking red just just just negro hanging like i just felt like i was just gonna accidentally let one of her real true hobbies cross burn. The more information that came out about her and then the family, it's an interesting situation. I love that you can get money

about practicing abstinence while you get pregnant twice. That's pretty solid. I think that kid's name is Bristol, right? Bristol Payne? Yeah. Yeah.

And then her son came back and beat his wife, and she's blaming it on PTSD, which I'm told has been received really poorly amongst people with PTSD. Like, don't paint us with this brush that we come back from war changed people beating our wives. A little nervous around fireworks but I don't go for women. It was a little weird because she

didn't exactly say it's Obama's fault but it was weird. She totally was. When I hear shit like that, I just write you completely off as a person who should ever be listened to ever ever ever because you have no integrity after you make that move when you blame the president for your daughter's like baby daddy beating her or whatever

the situation was like it's ptsd because of ptsd son, okay. Her son beat her daughter. It's hard to keep her white trash family in order with all the teen pregnancy and the domestic abuse. It's a real show over there. That's what should have been on the reality show, not her ass. I don't feel like she was properly... Yeah, that really is insulting about the PTSD people, that him being like, oh, you know, accidents happen. I have PTSD.

That's why I beat her up. guys who went to war the microwave goes off Where they serve their wife puts a bag of popcorn in and they just go on a fucking rampage Beating the shit out of all their children like that. That's That is really an awful thing as an excuse to use where it's like, oh, you know, I got startled goddamn egg timer You know fool me once Sorry about that Karen. We'll get you stitched up. Rehearsing what she says before you go into the hospital. I fell.

I ran into the door. She asked what time I wanted dinner. All I could hear was Allah Akbar. I let her have it. I like that one. Oh, is it time for a second ad read? All right, then. It is.

Who shall it be? You guys, we figured it out. We here at PKA have discovered the key to an amazing shave. It's simple. That's exactly what dollarshaveclub.com does and why we're proud members like millions of others. Lots of players will be sporting playoff beards this time of year, now that the postseason

has come, but leave that to the pros. Kick off the year right with a fresh blade shave. That's why me and millions of others have joined DollarShaveClub.com. Dollar Shave Club knows the key to getting an amazing shave is simple. One, use a fresh Dollar Shave Club blade. Two, use the Dr. Carver Shave Butter. That's it. Dollar Shave Club delivers amazing razors right to

my door for a third of the price of those greedy mega razor corporations. That means listeners who switch now can afford the luxury of shaving with a fresh blade anytime and save hundreds this year. And when you combine the fresh blade with their Dr. Carver's Shave Butter, it just glides. It's unimaginably smooth. I'm telling you, it's not your average shave foam. It will dry out your skin. The all-natural ingredients leave your skin feeling soft, smooth, and moisturized after every single shave. So, take it from us. Use a Dollar Shave Club blade with Dr. Carver's Shave Butter if you want the most gentle shave imaginable. Join dollarshaveclub.com today.

That's dollarshaveclub.com slash pka. Also, check out their One Wipe charlies while you're over at there those things they're wet wipes scented of menthol making your ass feel fresh and they're so thick and hardy you would catch an airsoft bb shot right at you no no give there

no worries of finger puncturing if you get a little overzealous you think this wiping is never going to end never going to happen with the one-wipe Charlies. That's not just a joke. Like, they sent us one of those in, like, our first promotion we did, the one-wipe Charlies. And it was – they're great. Absolutely add that in your cart.

Yeah. No, yeah. Seriously. I feel like I was on board with the one-wipe Charlie before the rest of the team was. And, you know, Europe has had bidets forever. And Americans were just wiping their rear ends with paper that's not clean we all just kind of deny it and pretend that it's clean but you know that it's not now with one wife charlie's we once again reclaim butthole cleanliness supremacy like america should number one i hear trump uses them before every debate i want that

to be in your like legal have to read read. You have to say this. Those are great though. Wet wipes changed my life. Realizing that that's an option. Flushable wet wipes. See, this is what I only shit.

I always shower after I shit. This eliminates this whole problem of a dirty asshole. I wipe my ass, but then I take a fucking shower. this is what like like i only shit i i always shower after i shit this this this eliminates this whole problem of a dirty asshole i wipe my ass but then i take a fucking shower like i don't have these i i don't have these emergency shits like like i don't know what are you like i don't let my man the bad bowel me i dictate my poop i poop when i damn well please or where look i wake up every morning and it's time to go it's i know it's time to go that's why i woke up there's a lot you don't wake up every morning sometimes you wake up in the afternoon it depends on your definition of morning but sometimes he wakes up at some point

at some point i wake up or i wouldn't fucking be here i was at my dad's the other day my my alarm went off it was 145 in the afternoon and an alarm went off and i was like i figure if i'm not up by now i need an alarm you know what i mean but seriously i wake up every morning and and i poop and then i shower and i don't shit again during the day i i don't understand that like like the need for that no i i have so many emergency shits it's getting out of control where what are you eating oh no i'll eat it's not okay i'm exaggerating i i'll eat good for a while like not necessarily all healthy but like regular and i'm regular and then i go on like weird food uh like preferences like last week from thursday no wednesday to friday evening i looked back on those like seven meals and i was

like when was the last time i didn't eat chicken wings as a meal like when was the last time i didn't eat hot wings and i realized it's been three fucking days since i've eaten anything but hot wings and so for the next day or two it was just a disaster i couldn't hardly leave the house get errands done it was like like i there was one time I literally got in my car after showering and getting ready for stuff. I got to like the end of the subdivision about to turn onto the road. And I was like, you know, I only have to go by the grocery store and get some stuff. But I'm not going to risk it. I'm not going to risk it.

And so I turned around and I went home. And I just – I went home and shit. And by that point, I just ordered out for chicken wings from Papa John's. That was day two and a half. You, my friend, are going to need adult depends by the time you're 35. What the fuck? That's not healthy. I'm blowing myself out, yeah.

You need more fiber in your diet. I'm going to let you know right now. Are you eating hot wings early in the day? Let's say you wake up. Oh, at any time. Yeah, I eat celery with the wings. That's a little bit of fiber. Your body is just a polluted

jungle of evil oh the inside of you must just be awful i've said what you eat kyle and it is not all vegetables and oh no i don't eat vegetables no i my diet is deep fried whatever we found around the house i got four pounds of gummy beans, of jelly beans upstairs that have my name all over them. I'm halfway through the jar. That means I've eaten two pounds of jelly beans this month. This month I've eaten two pounds of jelly beans. Just wrap your head around that alone.

It's startling. You guys go through, I'm sure, where you get really into a certain kind of food and you eat it all the time. I've had it with sushi, where I just eat nothing but sashimi for a couple days and then i'm like this has been a huge waste of money and then i go back to normal foods just like chicken wings i've had that like when i'm doing it i know what i'm doing like a day and a half into a chicken

wing binge you know you know that uh you know the reaper's coming you just can't the dominoes guys looking at you kind of weird after the eighth trip to your apartment he's like here you go i guess yeah no it's not even dominoes i'm like going like uh go to emos and then papa john's and then dominoes and then i go and make some for my or my girlfriend around so you won't be embarrassed that's all like the way uh alcoholics go to booze stores where they're like oh you know my my weekly bottle of booze you know and they're skipping around all these different stores there's a a Key and Peele sketch that's like that, like where this incredibly overweight obese man is calling Papa John's and ordering like multiple pizzas. And of course, they're all for himself. But he's pretending like it's for a party. He's like, oh, yeah, having a big party. You got Mike

here, Michelle and Diane. And he's looking at his like Star Wars figurines. He's like, yeah, yeah, Luke's here. And he's going through figurine names. And it's really sad. But then the guy's like, what's she look like? And he's like, ah. And he starts describing her. And the guy on the other end wants to talk to the girl who's at the party.

So by the end of it, he has to pretend like she's been shot in a drive-by just so he can get this pizza. Key and Peele's great. I don't think they're doing their show anymore, but they're making a movie called Keanu. And the premise is that... Oh, that trailer looks funny. It looks so funny.

What did he say? My name is Shark Tank! That looks like it's going to be great. Yeah, if you click your camera button, I think it'll come back. I did. I don't know what's happening. I clicked mine. Sometimes it takes a minute.

Want to start the call over? Sure. Right. Just check in. Yeah. There we go. Phil, I watched a video. I forgot what it was.

Did you just buy something big for your father not long ago? A house, car? Oh, I finished paying it off for them. How was that? It's interesting. I was torn on whether to share it or not because my ultimate fear is that it can come off showy um but then there's also the other side of it where i'm like i know that i've wanted to do it for a while and i've like with even with everything going on i've gotten to a place where it's just not pure chaos and

it was something that i wanted to do oh yeah what do we can't see you yeah i can't see myself or you yeah i can't see you guys i see see me. Let's give it a second. I'm hoping it comes out. But yeah, but I mean, but I think I hopefully meant for it to come off as like me doing something nice because I've gotten to a place and hopefully, you know, that it's an aspirational thing that someone can be, want to get to that point and be able to do that for them theirs. But yeah, i have a weird relationship with money and family and all that stuff it's a it's a weird balancing act how is it

weird uh because when when i was a kid if my mom gave me anything could be the smallest thing in the world could be could be i don't know uh playstation 2 i. I'm trying to date it. She would hold that over my head for a year. And so I feel like that's not a gift. That's not a present. That's not something that is actually meant to help. It's puppet strings. There's a leash to that nice thing.

And so my issue is, you know, with friends and family, I kind of, I do for someone and then I try not to pay attention to maybe how they use the money. I've helped people out before and then I see there's just no excuse for what they spent. Like it's not anything that really makes them happy, like a piece of jewelry. Right. And I'm just like, you got into this, this rough patch because of the decisions you made.

And I tried to help you. And then you made those same decisions. Like it's, it's, it's, it's straight up either disrespectful because either you think that someone's going to bail you out again, or it's straight.

You're insane because you think that somehow someone's going to bail you out again or you're insane because you think that somehow there's going to be a different result, that you're not going to end up back to that first place. So I don't know. I mean, I'm not talking about that with my father, but that's what I mean with money and friends and people. You get what I'm saying? You're in LA, right?

Mm-hmm. How do you like stealing my Rams back I'm like at this weird place of like I'm not a Dodgers fan like I'm still I'm still at this point I'm a half ass Yankees fan I used to be die hard back when I was on the east coast

and then football I'm still a Jets fan like I think I'll always yeah I know right I'm like yeah we got a winning season we lost to the Bills twice fan like i think i'll always yeah i know right i'm like yeah we got a winning see oh really lost the bills twice we beat the patriots we lost to the bills twice thanks rex um but i don't know i think i'll like go to the games just because it's like oh cool there'll be something close but i don't know what i will say is i'm glad we're it doesn't look like we're going to be getting the Raiders. I'm really pumped about that. Yeah, the Raiders might go to Las Vegas.

Really? I thought they got money so that they could actually build a stadium in Oakland. I just saw it on Twitter. It said Las Vegas Raiders, and people were talking about it. That'd be interesting. It would be. I really like the Rams. I remember when I was little going to see the parade in downtown St. Louis

when we won and seeing Kurt Warner and all those guys, the greatest show on turf. It was awesome. And from then, I don't think we've had a single season where we did better than like seven and nine. And I want to see a continued legacy of failure and dumpster fires as it continues into LA. Cause I would be enraged if they suddenly become good.

And there's a ton of bandwagon LA fans who suddenly love the Rams again, just like what happened with the fucking Kings out there, I was going to say, you know, where it's, Oh, you know, who the hell is Jonathan quick?

And then 2012 happens and everybody's like, Oh, you know, I'm a rapper. I'm going to get my King's hat. Like, did you, did you see like the really pathetic, uh, parade though, when, when they won the like, oh, you know, I'm a rapper. I'm going to get my Kings hat. Did you see the really pathetic parade, though,

when they won the cup the last time? 14? Yeah, it's so sad. Really? Because when teams went in like Chicago or something like that, people were losing their damn mind in the streets, and then here it was like some people were pumped. Oh, my God.

It's LA. if they won here it would be there'd be a riot it could do it st louis really get out yeah i know i mean you know that big group of people in ferguson huge hockey fans they would love it burn down another pay less shoes um but yeah i don't know if i'll jump on board. It's also weird with what? It's like it's open for two years if the Chargers want to potentially join. I think that's what the deal is. Yeah, they have like a year or two or something like that to decide if they want to also come to LA. So where are you from originally?

I'm originally from New York. I'm originally from the Bronx. So are you a Rangers fan then or is that Islanders country? Well, I was. I don't watch hockey as much. It's still my favorite sport to watch in person. But yeah, I mean, I was a hockey fan during like the Messier-Gretzky times. So it was a good time to be a Rangers fan.

It was a fun time. Yeah. Let's restart the call. See if we can pick up Kyle. Oh, Kyle's having trouble. Yeah. Did you ever get a chance to go see Gretzky in person? Mm-mm.

Man, that would have been so cool. That's also a weird thing. I don't know how to react or be around famous people. I don't know if I necessarily have a desire. To me, my childhood hero is Sylvester Stallone. I don't know if I ever actually want to meet him. You're a famous person. I really like your YouTube videos. I watch them all the time.

You're a famous person. I think you know exactly how you'd like to be treated. It's a different level. famous person. I think you know exactly how you'd like to be treated. It's a different level. No one's ever harassed me while I tried to go to the mall. What happens for me... Not harassed, but they see you there and they say, oh my God, aren't you Philly D? But if you look at some of these young kids, the kids that went from Vine and now they're jumping all over the place, like Cameron Dallas right? Their videos of Cameron Dallas getting swarmed at LAX like he's a mixture of Kim Kardashian and the Beatles. I saw that happen to Shea Carl.

Shea Carl, yeah. Now, he tweeted out that he was going places and stuff. But yeah, they're like, hey, we're doing a meetup at this mall. And I was like, I'm going to meet Shea Carl. I'll go. I mean,'s that's like that they I'm sorry you know what a mall like in the second floor oftentimes you can see the people underneath they're like on the railings like oh my God here he comes here Shay Carl's on his way and Freddie Wong was there too who in my mind equal star power but um wong was totally like the video and audio guy capturing

the shea carl event and i thought that was interesting to me because i think online they were very similar but someone explained that um shea carl has a much bigger female fan base than freddie wong did and they're just more likely to like go fangirl at a mall than like – And they're also more likely to be able to get their boyfriends or someone to come see some YouTube guy they like. Whereas if a guy is like, man, I love this dude who does all these BFX things on YouTube. You want to come, Samantha? She's going to be like, you know what? No, I don't think I'm going to do that.

And it's like – I don't know why she's a valley girl, but they'll probably say no. I don't think I'm going to do that. And it's like, I don't know why she's a Valley girl, but I'll say no. But yeah, anyway, I just having like, I had shocks. I hate to put myself in, in these other leagues, but I've had people really excited to meet me too. And I know that I have a much easier time with the guys who can kind of keep it casual and be like, Oh yeah, I really like this. Hey, you know, this was good for me or that was good for me. And just a little more like chill then oh my god oh my god because with that

it's like i don't really know what to do with you and i'd like to step backwards i had one experience with that of someone recognizing me ever and it was at like a i don't know if it was a pre-release for like modern warfare 3 or something i just went to a game stop to pick no it could have been released i just walked in i went in bought the game and the guy who was checking me out like looked at me then kind of went down scanned it and looked back up and was like hey this is kind of sound kind of weird but are you are you murka durka and i was like yeah and he goes oh cool and that was it didn't talk to him he then had to ask me like do you want to join our super secret game club and i was like no and then he gave me the game and i left and that was you know one for one i've had ones like that where i remember i went to wings's house for a shooting event

and the woman who checked me into the hotel was like has anyone ever told you you look like Woody's Gamertag? I'm like, that's a first. But I am Woody. I thought maybe she'd know. I'm here with FBS Russia, and I'm meeting Wings of Redemption. I thought maybe she'd know the clan. But there was one day at the mall when I got recognized repeatedly.

It seemed like every 100 feet there was somebody else being like, you're Woody's gamer tag aren't you you're woody's gamer tag like it just just like i don't know we were at the apple store there's like a person on my left person on my right they're all seeing i later realized that the back of my shirt said woody's gamer tag on it and it just like everybody who knew me it like it wasn't like they had to recognize me they could just read it on my clothing and i'm like ah that explains it so that was the last time i got yeah it's a struggling yeah no i was that's what i was paying attention to um yeah i mean my my guys are like 18 to 30 mostly everyone keeps it casual and then every now and then you have a screamer but oh no i've always i'm always pumped to meet people the the weird thing right is because i've been on now for 10 years um is is

like every now and then i get someone that's like their opening line is i used to watch you in high school and then i'm just like oh i'm old and i'm dying it's over it's over like and it's just someone that's my age i I'm like, ah. See, but yeah, I get stuff like that a lot. But I've kind of accepted that I don't do YouTube as hard as I once did. When someone says like, yeah, I used to watch your videos every day. I think, yeah. And we probably both moved on from Call of Duty tips.

Yeah. Not really a booming market for that many people anymore. I actually don't know anybody other than Tmart who still does that. And that's just because I know. Yeah. Not really a booming market for that many people anymore. Aside from, I don't know, I actually don't know anybody other than Tmart who still does that. And that's just because I know the guy. Like, is he the biggest channel of those tips now? I would guess. I think Drifter might still do it as well. It seems like mainly just like the pro slash almost pros.

I feel like all the pros have become vloggers like pro gaming made them famous and now you're watching them like this is what my room is like this is what my this is because i mean i only follow like the the optic and phase guys uh-huh but that's like that's fascinating to me i don't know what what game are they professional in now? Is it still Call of Duty or is it Counter-Strike? Black Ops 3, right? Yes. Their old school guys are Black Ops 3. Both of them have just bought CSGO teams. I'm not into the CSGO community enough.

I think the team that FaZe bought was better than the team that Optic bought, but don't quote me on it. I could just screw that up. I don't know. And, of course, I'm talking about historically better. Who knows? Maybe leadership makes one go up and the other goes down. Who the hell knows?

But, yeah, they're just getting into CSGO now, and EnVyUs has one of the best, if not the best, CSGO team. So all kinds of stuff going. I saw a very weird headline today where it was something like, and I was like, okay, it's 2016. It was like, can drone racing be as big as esports? And I was like, that's the weirdest headline I've seen in a long time. Phil, would you call it the callback and see if...

I feel like maybe me owning it is the problem. You think so? Okay. You want me to back out? We'll all just click hang up and see if we can get Kyle. Alright. See how this goes. Huh. So now it's just us.

Oh, do you have to click accept on them? I clicked accept for FPS. I didn't know. Can anyone hear me? I hear you. I see Mark. God damn this. Wait, wait, wait, wait. I didn't know. Can anyone hear me? I hear you. I see Mark. God damn this. Wait, wait, wait. Give it a minute.

Give it a minute. It could still work. I'm not giving up on it. On my screen. At least we can hear you now. Can you hang up on Chiz? Can I? No, it'd have to be Phil.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, what do I have to do? Hang up on Chiz. Oh, okay. I can see myself, but I'm frozen. I'm going to turn my video on and then off again, or off and then on again. All right. What I've had to do in the past is just leave video off for a while sometimes

and then test it like 20 minutes in. Because I don't know on the call, everyone's in different places. We'll see how it works. So annoying. Oh,pe oh wait no they're in the same place now all right i'd be okay can you see me though no not yet no i think as long as we can hear you we can salvage this we can save this show it's okay yeah I'm going to get naked like I used to when I wasn't on camera if this is the case. Uh-oh. He's talking through a robot, Dick.

I don't know what's happening. Well, you know, I think you're being a little judgy. Sometimes he does that. I mean, to each their own. It's fine. It's fine. Can you hear me? Yeah, we can hear you.

Okay, okay. I think it's getting better. I'm looking through all these proposed topics that Chiz goes through. I didn't know you were a big UFC guy. Me? Yeah. Only recently.

And then after I came on to your show, I learned about... Shoot, oh, my God. Joe Lozon. Yeah. And that's been interesting to follow him. I think one of my favorite guys to follow right now, though, is probably Richard Got Me Into Tim Kennedy.

Just because he's like. I love that guy. Oh, I thought you were going to say you hate him. I was like, how dare you? We're going to fight. I have a loose connection to him. I don't know if I to say you hate him. I was like, how dare you? We're going to fight. I have a loose connection to him. I don't know if I've ever rolled with him, but my coach and him, or instructor, I guess you'd call him,

they were tight or whatever. Tim Kennedy would regularly beat the crap out of the guy that taught me. And Tim Kennedy is a certified badass. Did you hear the ISIS thing? So here's the deal. I'll lay it out there. So the UFC started billing Tim Kennedy, and it's true, as a special forces guy who's done all kinds of work in Iraq and Afghanistan and Kurdistan and unspecifiedistan and whatever. Kurdistan?

Ferguson. Kurdistan. So anyway, he goes overseas and just murders. That's not the right word I'm looking for. But his KD ratio. He heads. Right? So he goes overseas.

He executed. He gets all this work done as a military guy. And apparently he's just a fearless badass in real life who also happens to be one of the best hand-to-hand combat people to have ever lived. That's who this guy is. And when the world found out that he was like special ops or special forces or I'm not – I don't know exactly what he is or exactly the difference. But he's not just a regular military guy. He's some sort of special one.

He started getting threats from ISIS and stuff like that all over the place. Everywhere. We're going to come over there. We're going to get you. And he grew numb to it. He doesn't really care. Al-Qaeda, ISIS, whatever. It's just, to him, they are 15-year-olds on Xbox Live.

He's just desensitized to death threats. And then recently, the FBI reaches out to him and says hey we've got some credible death threats over here you know and he's like i don't know i get death threats all the time on this thing how concerned should i be and the fbi or i think it was them it could be the cia whatever they're like well we're concerned and he's like, well, I maintain my stance. Now Tim Kennedy is selling fucking T-shirts about it. He's like, he calls them Dish, right? Not Isis. Dish.

Send anybody you want. Just don't send anybody you want back. That's what the T-shirt says. That's pretty great. That's great. Oh, that's great. Who came up with that? I feel like I've heard variants of it here and there but

yeah that's the he's selling his tim kennedy t-shirt send anybody you want but don't send anybody you want back i love the guy i love him yeah the the the red the uf what is it the mma subreddit on um reddit obviously they're not a big fan i feel like i'm one of his few fans there well i wonder why but because like i think one of his few fans there well i wonder why but because like i think one of the reasons i like him other than him being such a fantastic fighter and his backstory is his stance on uh anti-doping because like it's so obviously rampant and these guys are getting popped and then randomly they'll go after a Diaz for weed. So let's get rid of him forever.

I don't know. It's all crazy. Yeah, his Adobe stance is great. He's always asking to be tested, thirsting for more testing. I'm friends with Joe Lozon who never did any of that stuff. And I wonder how his career could be different if everyone he fought against was as clean as him. I'm not saying... Well, what I am saying is the guy's had like 22, 23 fights in the UFC.

I bet he's fought people on steroids. I don't think that's my prediction. What are the telltale signs of steroid use? Because I know you're more familiar, other than like the Joe Rogan head. So there's a lot of people who would hate on you for attempting to like bro science who's doing roids and who's not. There's the general look of the body, right? Like Yale Romero, who just got popped, is incredible at like 40 or something.

And you're just like, you know, I don that seems fishy and it was um the nipples sometimes guys have like little bit of they bitch tits like their nipples have like a the whole nipple is a tiny ball in a little bit yeah a little area a little uh areola there look like you want to suckle it. Yeah, it's like a boob. The areola has become a tiny boob. It's called gynoplasty. Is that what it's called? It's something close to that. Gynoplasty, I think, would be like a breast reconstruction.

I think... What you're talking about starts with gyno something or another. It's bitch tits, though. They can start making milk. There you go. That's it. you're talking about starts with gyno something or it's um it's bitch tits though yeah yeah they they can start making milk guys there you go that's it yeah yeah but in general most people who look at this a lot say that you can't tell just by looking at a guy so i don't really know i mean i feel like mark mcguire i feel like there's a lot of people who can pass the look test but not the drug test

Josh Barnett Anderson Silva right no one ever thought they were on drugs because they don't look like it but we don't know what all right so can I chip in on this because when like there's so many performance enhancing drugs out there and they and many of them do vastly different things there are things like testosterone which is what we think of with regular steroids that are great for beefing up, bulking up, and also recovery to some extent. That's why you look at Bonds in his early career when he's rounding those bases like a real athlete and he's slender and he's quick. And then you see his late career and he's just a giant pile of muscle that's good at hitting the fuck out of a baseball. But then you've got guys who do blood doping.

Maybe they want tons of red blood cells. Yeah, they end up blood doping. So that their blood holds more oxygen and they have more endurance. Much more oxygen. Great for endurance stuff. Like Lance Armstrong used to do a number of different things. But then there's HGH, which there's no proper testing for. EPO. There's no way of knowing what's really going on out there.

But they do anything to get an edge. If it means getting more oxygen to their muscles so that they've got better endurance and better strength in the later rounds, or if they're taking something, maybe they're taking something just when they're training that helps with recovery. That's huge in MMA. How many times do you see a fight canceled because of a minor injury a back or something with somebody's back or some some injury that otherwise you might have just powered through and gotten that belt or gotten one step closer to that belt it's a huge advantage or you can

train harder and not get injured or you know like it's a huge advantage all the way through so um all the way through so um um oh and cutting weight that's the other one yeah yeah the diuretics hgh that's the kind that like mark mcguire used right i think he used more than just hgh but hgh apparently strengthens your tendons and it prevents injuries god i'm not an expert but i've heard that um looking back isn't it so obvious that like he and sosa i guess and bonds or like i remember going to cardinals games like when i was younger and seeing mark Looking back, isn't it so obvious that he and Sosa, I guess, and Bonds. I remember going to Cardinals games when I was younger and seeing Mark McGuire go up before the game just hitting practice. That dude's forearms, it's simply not believable.

You look at it and you're like, that's not a person's forearm. That's like a dinosaur's hind leg that you chopped off and just stapled on there. It's bigger than my head, and I got a melon. It's so muscular that looking back it's like, how was there ever even a debate as he's like, oh, it's his 72nd, you know,

tearing it up. Don't look here. Oh my god, I just googled a photo of it. Oh my god. Link just Googled a photo. Oh, my God. Link it. Link the photo. It's out of control. All right.

I hope this works because I just did a Google image search. But here you go. You've asked Kyle to cut and paste. Oh, that wasn't so bad. He got it up already. Holy smokes. I feel like the perspective on this picture is kind of – It looks like even his face has muscles.

It does. His face has biceps. Small head syndrome. Jesus Christ. What a beast. I imagine like now because there's no way he's still doing this shit. He has like when super fat people lose weight and they have like extra skin on their sides, guaranteed he's got like a couple fingers girth of pinch of just forearm skin that he can grab.

Because it's, that's out of control. Well, he hit a lot of dingers, that's all that matters. He did. We liked him here, you you know I guess so I feel like I I feel pretty bad about the thing because you know I'm a Braves fan and Hank Aaron had the home run record before all that nonsense and so it seems seems pretty shitty to me yeah who has it now Barry Bonds I don't know shit about baseball he hit like 72 didn't he I Barry Bonds? I don't know shit about baseball. I think he hit like 72, didn't he?

I think Bonds still has it. McGuire hit 71, right? And then Bonds hit... That's years and years ago. I don't even recall that well. We had Kyle's camera for a little bit. Oh, for a second. It was so nice.

And then I had the type. I felt like Milo for a second, just admiring. Milo was about to blow a loan. He was really enjoying himself. How do you pronounce his last name? Does anyone know? Are you familiar with Milo Yiannopoulos?

The name sounds familiar. I don't know why. He's a blonde-haired guy. He's gay, if that helps you identify him. He was on one of your PPAs. Yeah, he's known for debating feminists. Not helping? I'm looking at he's known for debating. Yeah. Yeah. He's known for debating feminists. Okay. Not helping. Okay.

No, I'm looking at a picture at him now. Okay. What about him? He came on the show and fell in love with Kyle. It was great. I was envious because going into the show, I was,

I think it's fair to say I'd seen a lot more of him than these other two, right? Like I had watched hours of him. To be honest, I had seen nothing. Yeah. I had, on the other hand, seen like hours of him debating people on all these different topics from like misogynist, feminist, politics. And I kind of liked his style. I liked how often he was able to reference studies and just impressed with how he did his homework. And I was really excited to have him on PKA.

And, you know, I'm like, oh, yeah, Milo's here. Milo's here. I've been waiting for this one. I'm waiting for this one. And he gets on and he just starts adoring Kyle. Oh, yeah. It started when he was like, Kyle was sitting there doing his little like, and I was doing this thing where, like his WH, hard WH. And he's like, you're from the south, aren you you're south over there somewhere i can hear it in your

voice it's marvelous i love it and it's just like he got so hard he started talking about the symmetry of my face yes uh yeah yeah he went on for a while like he was and then he was he was literally licking his lips when I was doing the ad reads. And even though I'm in another screen and I've got Skype in the background, it shows me a little Skype bubble. And all I can see is Milo looking at me and licking his lips. And I'm reading about Dollar Shave Club or something.

Very entertaining. Very entertaining. Yeah. I think what made him so attracted to you, other than your good looks, obviously, is that me and Woody were prepared to talk to him about things. Cause we'd watched a lot of this shit. Maybe Woody more than I am not sure.

Uh, but Kyle came in just so like blase of like, Oh, that's what you do. Whatever. And it was almost like a hot chick, you know, she's like,

well, what am I doing? I'm not good enough for this asshole. I'm going to show him that I'm good enough for him. We'll see. I'm going to sleep with him tonight. I could totally have Milo as my bitch boyfriend

or something like that if I so desired. I feel like I could pull that. That's nice to know. He was very adamant about the fact that he only receives. Yeah, yeah. You should have seen the text messages he sent. He just kept on about it. Not really. Look at Woody. He believed me.

You can really get woody going oh god he's like shit would you give him my number yeah i i've got an issue i'm way too gullible i it burns me all the time It's so gullible. It burns me all the time. My favorite Woody gullibility moment was when we convinced you that... What was the actor's name that we convinced him? When he called her Scarlett Johannesburg and I said, no, it's Johansson. Scarlett Johansson. And then he kept going, okay, okay.

So, Miss Johansson. And I was just like, okay, okay. So Miss Johansson. It goes on about Miss Johansson for like five more minutes. That was great. I love that. Oh, it's such a funny trailer. Oh, I just Googled him. Wait, Twitter took away his checkmark? Yeah, he gained like 25,000 Twitter followers because of it he's just been go against

the system man that's the best way to go I think some of his arguments are specifically designed like he does kind of an Ann Coulter type thing like she'll say on popular things knowing that it's just poking in a bee's nest I think he does that to some extent too yeah yeah definitely so he so. He's a good debater, good speaker. Funny guy. I liked him. Yeah, he's a very funny guy. Very clever. A couple of his argument tactics are a little

manipulative and unfounded, but that is his job. Look, I was really drinking the Kool-Aid. I was really drinking the Kool-Aid, and then he made some remark at some point where he said something along the lines of you know, but I'm a good Christian, and then he made some remark at some point where he said something along the lines of, you know, but I'm a good Christian, and then he was like, sorry, Gold, or whatever, and I thought he was just being

ironic. I didn't realize that he was devoutly religious, devoutly Catholic. So, like, when you later bring it up, Taylor, you're like, I just want to know how you, like, you know, justify your devout Catholicism with all your other, you know, the rest of your belief system. You know, how does that work in there? I was like, for reals? You don't believe? You believe,

wait, what? You believe in all that other stuff? You're openly gay, but you're, how does this jive? And that to me didn't really make a whole lot of sense. I was kind of left behind in a confused state when he started defending Catholicism. He Catholicism con like opinions that don't typically fall in the same person right like he's he's gay but he's Republican but he's Christian and like Catholic yeah and a lot of these things don't fit together but uh you know you don't have to have it all fit together it's not like you can't be a pro-gun liberal. He's like a walking, he's a walking oxymoron. That's what he is. Yeah, I just realized that.

He's so, he's so opinionated on such a, I don't, I wonder how much of that's just for show because some of that shit he was saying was just ridiculous. But, you know, he was like. YouTube comments poked at me for like, oh, Woody doesn't like it when he can't out-argue the guests. And I thought I was being really respectful, but I got my licks in there, baby. comments poked at me for like oh what he doesn't like it when he can't out argue the guests and um i thought i was being really respectful but i wanted i i got my licks in there baby the washington

post one where he like quoted some stat from them and then i was like you're not used to arguing people who can google right now you know that doesn't happen on fox news i'm pasted like you know i i i got my punches in i expected people to give you a lot of hate for arguing with him for that episode, but for the most part, it seemed like everybody appreciated it. You did an excellent job that episode. Every time he'd go on a rant or something

and be talking over people, you'd be like, all right, well, hold on. What you just said is beyond ridiculous, and here's why. Most of the stuff, he gets you because he's so charismatic and he'll say like six things in rapid succession in his rehearsed monologues that you're like i'm behind that well fuck you're right a hundred percent you got it you're about to like take off your shirt

and paint your chest with milo logos or whatever and then he's like and also you know this other ridiculous thing uh about religion and it's like oh like whoa you almost had me, you know, this other ridiculous thing about religion. And it's like, whoa, you almost had me there. You almost snuck that one in. You almost pulled me on that sentence. You almost snuck that one past the goalie. Yeah, you did a good job keeping him honest with that. Hey, while we're at it, we just want everyone to remember that this episode of Paying Clarity is also being brought to you by Squarespace.

When you use Squarespace, you always know your final product is going to look professionally designed regardless of skill level. There's no coding required, of course, and the tools are easy to use and intuitive. Trusted by millions of people and some of the most respected brands in the world, Squarespace uses state-of-the-art technology

to power your site and to ensure security and stability. It starts at only $8 per month, and you get a free domain when you sign up for one year. So start your free trial today with no credit card required at squarespace.com I'm very proud of our professional sponsors, right? The watches, the Squarespace, the Dollar Shave Club. We've come a long way from some YouTube channel. From the YOLO Boys! The number one name in Middle Eastern Army weather news.

That was a legit sponsor we had about three years ago. It was literally like three guys in the Army overseas who called themselves the YOLO Boys and did like military weather reports. And they just sent us like, I don't know, two or three hundred dollars, sponsored an episode. And we did an ad read that was like, and thanks to the YOLO Boys. They have nothing to plug or promote. They're just the YOLO Boys.

There was one of them who I'm 95% sure was a guy, but we acted like we couldn't tell at all. And we're like, thanks to these two brave men and that other person as well. They were fantastic, the YOLO boys. They go down in PKA history. Yeah, that was pretty funny. It'll be a sponsor again someday.

I doubt it. Probably not. Yeah, that was pretty funny. It'll be a sponsor again someday. I doubt it. Probably not. They're probably out of the service by now. I don't know. I think it's weird that you said squarespace.com slash pka when it's definitely squarespace.com slash phil. Stop it.

Stop it. Hey, man. No, I've heard that one. You just said it. I heard that one doesn't work anymore. And it's harder to type. I heard that one doesn't work anymore. And it's harder to type. I heard that one causes a virus. Every device you own.

It does. 33% more letters to type and a virus. Do you have a Netflix code anymore? Why trouble yourself? No, we haven't messed with Netflix in a long time. Yeah, I saw someone had a Netflix code and I'm like, I'd love to fire that thing back up again. I think that they're different deals.

It's nothing like the OG deals. Oh, really? That's my understanding. I was more than happy with the deal I had. You were what? I was more than happy with the deal I had with Netflix back in the day. Well, because it was a ridiculously large deal, if it's what

I'm thinking. I assume it was the same as yours we had the same agent i can't be positive yeah but um that's not still going the netflix.com slash no i didn't like officially tell everyone like it's gone now because then i have to like get the word out that it's back now but um i was like maybe it's just gone for like six months. And like, I don't want like to put the word out that it's gone forever and then have to like resell it. I think they decided, yeah, to just take like the millions that they were giving people for like Netflix codes and just put it into more originals and just regular. Yeah. That's not what I heard.

Because it's like, who doesn't know about Netflix? They were taking the money from that deal and investing it to buy House of Cards an Emmy or Oscar or whatever the hell it was supposed to get. That's what they were trying to get, House of Cards, an award. Wait, I want you to think about how crazy and weird the internet is and how angry everyone gets about change. Remember when everyone acted like Netflix was going to die because they split their streaming and their delivery service? They were like, this is not going to work. You don't understand entertainment. I didn't care about that delivery service. I never wanted to wait for DVDs

and I never was able to send them back. I didn't mind a bit. Exactly. I actually lowered my monthly bill because when they split, basically, if I remember right, it was like $12. And then it became $8 eight so kind of 16 for what i used to pay 12 for and i was like i'm gonna show them i'll cancel the physical one and only pay eight bite me netflix and uh now i pay 12 again so i can get 4k yeah you know what service I used recently?

I don't use very much. Maybe they're owned by a bigger company. I don't know. But I think that Redbox, I can't see it maintaining and sticking around for a long time. I don't know if that's huge everywhere. Oh, I think it will.

No, I think Redbox has a good little business strategy. They go into those areas where broadband hasn't come in fully yet. There's one not too far from me, of fact uh now since we're sitting here my internet's not fucking working um and you know people i always see people and it's usually like you know not not the nicest of people that are using the red box um i don't know. Only criminals use Redbox. I thought he was going to go racial on it. No, no, nothing like that. There's certainly plenty of white trash over there at the Redbox, I've noticed.

Three guys are standing there. They've got 14 teeth between them, and they're renting Call of Duty outside the dollar store. our store, but I think that's a good thing because it doesn't seem like we're too concerned with investing in our country's internet infrastructure on a really widespread kind of way. Certainly not getting to all those remote areas out in the... I'm 40 minutes away from Athens, Georgia and an hour and a half from Atlanta, Georgia, but still I have to suffer with this stuff. But there's people out all over the country in really remote areas where broadband's not going to come for a long time. I think Redbox has got a good thing

going on. Blockbuster sure ain't in the competition. I think that's the thing. They took an entire large Blockbuster and they're like, what if it was just a box? What if we put it out in front of a gas station and you can use it in the rain? Like, struggling to return your fucking disc because it won't work right. Do they charge you by the day how does that work how does red box

work do they charge you by the day yeah you swipe your card yeah you swipe your card in the thing and uh you know it's it's got a return slot and you pick the thing you want it spits it out like any other vending machine i've used them a couple times. My ex-girlfriend lived literally three minutes drive from one. If there was something that, say on Amazon Prime, I was going to have to pay $6 to rent it, but I could go to the Redbox and rent it for $2 or $3, we'd do that. I think they got a pretty effective little business strategy. They replaced two or three chains of stores with a vending machine yeah hollywood video blockbuster all those are gone i i guess i don't like red box because i fall right into their

trap of i'm on day three of bone tomahawk that's been sitting on my fucking counter where you know i paid for the one day and i'm like oh dollar 60 for this movie what a steal and then the next day comes around it's like i have till 9 p.m and then like i look at my phone it's 903 fuck like and now it's too late again so i've paid like enough to watch it you know blu-ray on amazon prime yeah i could have purchased it i was at blockbuster it's free on prime and i returned the movie like three minutes late yeah i returned a movie like three minutes late and they had just lost a class action suit on their business policy. So what they did is if like they'd say, whatever, you have three days to watch this movie and then you have to return it by noon or whatever it was. If you don't return it by noon, we're billing you for three more days.

So in my case, I was like three minutes late and they're like, oh, three minutes. That's another like nine dollars. And I'm like man like this like you can't cut me a little break here like i rent a lot of movies here i enjoy blockbuster but it doesn't seem right that i'm paying nine dollars for three minutes i i had a real hard time at the early years of my life with finding a movie store that didn't have me blacklisted because inevitably this would happen and I would owe them $50, $100 for like a fucking VHS tape

and I would just literally be like, fuck you movies with the cow on your logo. Fuck you video warehouse. I'm keeping your shit. You're never getting my money. I'll see you in court if i have to like whatever it takes so we're not getting it i was at blockbuster and i'm telling them like you know you guys this is a bad business practice and you just lost a class action suit in doing this you know charging for three

days when people are just a few minutes late and the people behind the counter face 17 year old say they acted like i was the idiot they're like like, what? There's no class action. So you're making this up. I'm like, I'm not like, it's totally true. You know, I'm like, do you have wifi here?

I'll get my laptop. They're like, what is this? Were you, were you, were you hoping he was going to be like, Oh, let me,

let me bring this back to Mr. Blockbuster. I, I, Jeremiah Blockbuster. I don't know what I was. I was hoping I'd save $9. I get, I wouldn't know what I was hoping. I was hoping I'd save $9. I lose my shit in situations like that.

I wouldn't have given them the movie back. I think I'd have walked away with their movie and never came back and probably told them I was going to. Like, I'm stealing this now. You've made me a criminal. When I was a junior in high school, I went to a Hollywood video that was close to me, and I was just with friends.

We were hanging out at my place, going to just hang out and watch a movie late one night. And so got there and I was like I have my family blockbuster card so I went up and we tried to rent whatever the fuck movie it was and he was like yeah you uh you can't rent here anymore you're not allowed you have too many overdue movies on your account you just you simply can't uh from our records you've literally rented and kept until we forced you to buy every Harry Potter film. And I'm like, oh. And that's legit. My youngest brother still has all of the Harry Potter blockbuster cases because he just didn't return them.

And so he told me that to rent this movie, I either had to pay him like $180 right then and then rent it or that I could just leave. And I was like, I'm just going to leave. Just give me the blockbuster card and I'm going to leave. and i was like i i'm just gonna leave like just give me the blockbuster card and i'm gonna leave and he's like i'm sorry i can't give you the card back and i'm like are you sure like this isn't the fucking customs and you're gonna keep me from leaving blockbuster give me the fucking card back and so the guy just eventually gave me the little blockbuster card back and we left and i was just live it at like mostly my mom like you kept every harry potter and Remember the Titans

to the point that they said, fuck it, give it to him and we'll charge him like 30 bucks a pop. Like it was ridiculous. It wasn't that though. They would charge you $80 for a VHS. I can still remember there was a scenario when like this was back when VHS was the,

you know, the standard. $80 they wanted for a copy of Uncle Buck. And it was like, like no suck my dick john candy can come get that money if he wants it but you motherfucker you did not agree you paid 80 for this vhs or am i having to pay you like lost revenue because somebody couldn't get uncle buck like come on man apparently they pay big dollars they pay like 80 or 160 dollars to get the movie on day one like it wasn't available for purchase at 1995. Each copy?

Mm-hmm. Yeah, they would rent it. I don't care. They would rent it for big dollars. That was the business model. And then four weeks later or six weeks later, it'd be for sale for $20. But at that point, the rentals had all fallen off a cliff.

Yeah, I worked at a video warehouse briefly one year. I guess for maybe two or three months, I worked at a video warehouse briefly one year. I guess for maybe two or three months I worked there. I wasn't aware of this job. Yeah, well, I was going to tell it one time, but Wings had a story about working at a video store that just crushed mine, and I didn't even want to open my mouth. But no, I worked there for the free movie rentals. I always loved renting movies

it was my favorite place to go was to the movie store to rent movies and so I got the job there and I could rent as many as I wanted for free and I loved it and it sucked it paid minimum wage and I spent most of my time with my co-workers just straightening movies and cleaning DVDs but I really enjoyed the fact that I got all those free movies. Why did it only last for two months?

It seems like a job where you spend most of your time watching movies. I moved to Atlanta. I moved to Atlanta right after. Yeah. I see. I honestly got the job for the movies. I really did. It paid nothing.

It was terrible. I really just liked the idea of being able to rent three or four movies every single night for virtually free. I think I was supposed to be paying like a dollar, but I just took them. So those were like your fringe benefits. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I definitely had fringe benefits up there. I would steal from the snacks, from the drinks, the sodas.

I would just literally steal movies, just not even just rent them, just take them. All kinds of stuff. I was really shitty with customers. I would intentionally short people their change sometimes if they were rude to me. You stole from people? Yeah, people I didn't like. Oh, okay, that's cool.

I didn't realize you didn't like the people. There'd be customers coming in, returning their shit late or something and complaining about the late fees. You'd short those people, of course. I remember there was this really shitty woman, and I can't remember what her issue was, but I think that she rented a movie and the DVD

was scratched or something, and she didn't want her money back. She wanted another copy of the DVD that wasn't scratched, and we didn't have any, and she was raising hell. I don't know. It was a lame job, but it was... I never got held up at gunpoint or anything cool like that. So your biggest complaint with that job is that one time an old lady brought in a defective product

and wanted one that worked. So you kept her money as she... Oh, Jesus. I'm so sorry about that. Why is she old now? Oh, young man, please help me as you reach into her pocket and steal her butterscotch. She sounds senile.

Now I'm pickpocketing her? She didn't even remember what movie. You could have given her anything. This isn't what I rented. Maybe it is. Who knows? I'm old as shit. The funniest part about Video Warehouse is that they were a video rental slash tanning salon.

So in the back, there's a tanning bed. And so every there were some people who would literally come to the movie store and get their tan in. They come in and be like, hey, just so you know, I don't know, 007 released this week. And oh, no, I'm getting my tan on, bro. It was just so bizarre, like such a weird, like dual business scenario. And it wasn't very strange bedfellows. No porn. It was just so bizarre. Like, such a weird, like, dual business scenario. And it wasn't. Those are two very strange bedfellows. No porn.

There were a few, like, faces of death. There was, like, a faces of death section. And there was, like, there was some dirty stuff that was, I think there was this. I remember there was one DVD that it looked like it was, like, a black strip club. But not, like, one that was, like, legit. Like, some kind of underground black strip club but not like one that you that was like legit like some kind of underground black strip club and we started playing the DVD one day when it was raining just to see what was up with this and there's literally like a girl dancing on the stage and she like fucks herself with a banana and the crowds

throwing money at her and I guess that wasn't good enough so she peels the banana and starts fucking herself and then she let somebody fuck her with the peel banana and then the banana breaks off in her pussy it was it was pretty awful i saw that coming there was no twist ending in there for me i know i predicted that all along did she cut it on purpose like a cigar cutter or did it just kind of snap off oh i don't think that she would have the ability to to cut a yule log with that thing i don't think so it's a bowl of't think so. She wasn't pinching anything off with that mechanism.

It just got lost in there. That's all that happened. But yeah, that was working at the movie store. It was a shitty job that came with fringe benefits. Philly D. Yes, sir. What do you have an irrational hatred for? An irrational hatred for? An irrational hatred for?

Mm-hmm. Oh. I'm trying to think. I mean, car stuff makes sense. Everyone gets that. I think. Oh, driving. Like, I see.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, out here, like, the traffic's so horrible that it just, it makes you hate everyone. Ooh. I don't know. Does anyone else have one? I'm trying to think. An irrational hatred. Would that be one that I can't rationally explain?

Oh, man. That's why it's hard. I can't think of any. I have many, many justified hatreds. If you hate something, you usually have a justification for it. At least in your own head, you know? Like if you had an irrational hatred for possums, you'd run off-road to kill one.

Did I do this topic once before? I have an irrational hatred for my own memory. I honestly think... I don't think any of us had one. I think you brought this up, and no one had one, and we just kept moving. Okay. Second time's the charm. I mean, the Jews. Well, that's not irrational, though.

I've got my whole manifesto to spell that out. I hate people that work at mall kiosks a lot. Oh, there you go. That's not irrational, though. They're annoying, you know, leeches. Have you ever accidentally, have you ever, oh, God forbid, you ever go to one of those that sells those bootleg, you know, fucking Bangladeshi phone cases, and you go over there, and you're like, oh, this is neat, and you show it to one that sells uh those bootleg you know fucking bangladeshi phone cases and you

go over there and you're like oh this is neat you show it to the person you're with and then you know some you know slick salesman sneaks around the corner is like oh you like that one that's the t42 samsung case and then you have to sit there and pretend to give a fuck as this 17 year old tells you about all the other cases they have available as if you're going to just buy a uh a potpourri of cases for your one phone. I hate that. I hate the people who work at those. There's no point to it. There's no point.

I know the store that I want to go to in the fucking mall. If I want to go to the finish line and get some shoes, I will. If I want to go to the Japanese place in the food court, I will. If I want to go to Nordstrom and get clothes, I will. No one has ever been like, you know what I need? I need a relaxing weird little koi pond sold by get clothes i will no one has ever been like you know what i need is i need a relaxing uh uh coy pond sold by some uh foreigner in the middle of the food court but not quite in the food court

have you ever seen where did that come from you ever get a hot dog from a foreigner nothing have you ever seen the mall kiosk where they're doing the eyebrow plucking with those two strings? It's some sort of like Indian or Arabic technique where they're like using these two strings to like pinch the hairs and rip them out. Like with a noose kind of? What mall do you have that's a kiosk? Like the mall of Georgia. Like the biggest mall in Georgia.

Is that the one where those taser videos are filmed? You better back up. You better back up. That is not the mall of Georgia. That's like the mall of Atlanta or something. That's some ghetto shit. That's way off. Merc, what makes you

not able to be like, sorry, I'm just going to leave you standing here since you have to be here and I don't? I don't know. I don't know. Just be okay with someone thinking you're a dick. I feel like you're rude to foreigners, Phil. Say what?

I feel like you're being rude to foreigners. No, I'm rude to everybody. Yeah. See, like the only thing I never just like I can't just turn around and walk away because I feel like that's so guilty. And I know it's worse than just turning around and walking away instead of just wasting my time and theirs but like i'll like take like two steps back and then of course they close the gap and they try and talk to you oh one of them i got trapped in once uh you know those massage chairs they sometimes have in the middle of malls they had a like a whole assortment of massage

chairs and then those goofy cutout massage things where you could lay there and then some representative from a Korean parlor across town would be there to rub your back or something. And they had this giant white isolation tank that you could get in. They had swimsuits

you could buy. And you'd go into this changing room and then walk out of the changing room across the wall like a literal senile idiot in your swimsuit over to the isolation tank and then you get in and you close it and you're basically in a pod how clean is the tank it can't be that clean it's in the mall oh i've seen those we have those too yeah i had to pretend like i all i did was all i did was look at it. I didn't deserve this. You know, I'm a victim here. I just looked over and I'm like, isn't that neat?

And I read the side of it where it's like being in an isolation tank does all sorts of things. It makes you healthier. It makes us $15 every 10 minutes. It's wonderfully great. It's a sensory deprivation. Then this lady started coming over and she asked me like if I had soreness or if I had problems or anything. And I was playing hockey at the time. So I'm like, yeah, like I got a sore groin. She's like, this is perfect for that. And I was like, oh, if I had soreness or if I had problems or anything. And I was playing hockey at the time. So I'm like, yeah, like, I got a sore groin. She's like, this is perfect for that.

And I was like, oh, you know. What luck. You know, that's great. You know, by what happenstance, I've stumbled upon the cure. And so I just had to slowly, like, back up until eventually I was out of the periphery, which is so much more uncomfortable than just turning, you know, 180 degrees and walking away. But, yeah, that's my irrational hatred. I don't like mall kiosk people.

That doesn't sound rational at all. It seems very rational to hate those dirty, foreigner, eyebrow-threading, sensory deprivation tank cabin motherfuckers. By the way, I linked you guys to a video of mall kiosk eyebrow-threading, if you want to care to take a look. I've seen that being done at the mall. And also those sensory deprivation chambers. I've seen the big vibrating chairs.

I'm trying to think what else. Obviously the cell phone shitty things. I hate those guys. They're like homeless people, but... They're like homeless people a little bit. They're like panhandlers. But God forbid you make eye contact with them because then they latch on.

I feel like you guys are making yourselves victims in a life where you don't have to be. Not me. I was going to say, Taylor, if I was in that situation, I would tell them what I was thinking. In this scenario, yes. They would try to sell me a phone case and I would say something like my interest in phone cases is not

nearly as high as you think it is. And leave. Well, that's a little smart of a smart-ass remark. Well, yeah. Welcome to me. We had a waitress who got Woody's drink wrong early this year. He spat in her face. Oh, God. That's not true. Spat in her face.

That can't be like the real story. Yes. He spat the drink in her face. He said, does that taste like diet to you? No. It is 100% not true. and i don't order diet either i thought you were gonna say 100 understandable they have this thing this like running joke but they insist it's true that i'm bad to wait staff

and they say it again and again and again and they just now they're so hyper sensitive to it that like no matter what i say i could be like i'll take you know i don't know a steak medium rare uh green beans and potatoes and they're like he's at it again you know and it's not i'm not i'm innocent i didn't do anything but it's always at least i can admit it when i am rude to wait staff when we got done with our survival it. It's because it's on camera. Like, is there any evidence of me ever being rude to waitstaff? I saw you holding the camera. I didn't give a shit.

Hey, jumping in for a defensive Woody here. I've been out to eat with both of you multiple times, and I have never noticed Woody being rude to waitstaff. It's not actually true. It's fun to pile on, which is why I do it, but I've never actually noticed him being like spitting coke on her face. Is that diet? Come back in half an hour. Let me see if it's...

What did Kyle do to wait, Steph? All right. So here's what happened. We got done. I berated her. We got done with... Her crime was not being the hot waitress. She was that too.

So we all went out into the woods for a week with like virtually no food and the whole time i'm thinking about the meal that comes at the end of the survival trip after five days of being in the woods so we all get showered up get back to my house and then we go to um a steakhouse and yeah we did get the ugliest waitress in the place and i'm just gonna throw this out here if you're the least attractive waitress at a place, you would think you would put a little more effort into it and work for those tips. You would at least be the most dutiful

waitress there. You'd be the one who was rushing to get that refill done. The one who's getting that appetizer out there within 12 minutes. Like the card says. But no. She really let us down. All the drink orders were late. We sat there with no refills for a long time. Our bread didn't come out until it was time for the appetizer.

The appetizer didn't come out until it was time for the main course. And by the time the main course got there, I was literally giving her applause because it was just ridiculous. She was a cunt. She was bad at her job. She didn't deserve a tip, and I wouldn't have given her one. And that's just how I felt. And I would have called her a cunt to her face. I was ready to throw my drink in the floor and make a scene. It had been so long.

I was literally about to throw my drink in the floor and be like, I've made a mess. Someone should come because she had been gone for so long and it was pissing me the fuck off. Cause I was starving. And I sat next to Kyle. My evaluation of the situation was she was a little slow, but I was cool.

I was at net. Now I, that's not what Woody said said at the time at the time i was like am i overreacting here because i'm getting fucking pissed i was like i've been sitting here biting my tongue but i'm getting pissed and i can't take it and woody's like no this is this is no good it's been too long and chiz was agreeing with me too big time now now that's true chiz was kyle's cheerleader i I was, you know, not invalidating his feelings. You were pepid at best.

You were, you know, and then Patrick was with us, our British cameraman, and he was like, you know, in England, that would have been a bit rude. And I was like, it's fucking rude here, too. I remember that. That's a quote. I was going for rude. That's what I was going for there. However, Woody can be very curt and dismissive to waitstaff

without really meaning it. You'll do this thing sometimes. I wish the camera could see me, where you'll kind of give them this sort of look of incredulity, like you're shocked and surprised that they didn't come to the same conclusion you did and then you kind of tell them what's up you're like no we want four root beers that's why we said root beers all around you kind of give them a look like they're stupid um but the the main

not a real example the main ones i see you do it a lot the main ones where i've seen you be discourteous to wait staff was uh pizzeria. That one time! The one time! Where you shouted the word fuck. No! That's not true! I know you don't think it's true, Woody, but I heard you said something about how fucking late things were or we should have had our fucking drinks by now or something like that

and it was quite loud. It was like 20 minutes, I think, to get our drink. Maybe 30. And his excuse was that he needed a bartender to open the beer because he was only 20. Apparently that's the rule there. The thing is there was a bartender 15 feet from us the entire 30 minutes. And she wasn't doing anything. The place was closing.

She was just like wiping the bar and she wasn't doing anything the place was closing she was just like wiping the bar she wasn't busy or anything and um so like to me that was no excuse you need a bartender i've been looking at one for 30 minutes now what's the scoop on the like why does it take that long to get a soda and um i asked i need very little from my server but but if i feel like i'm being disrespected intentionally in some way, I can really lose my shit in that scenario. And I have felt that way on multiple occasions for some reason. I feel discriminated against sometimes. If I were a black man, I'd be like –

Oh, how rough it must be. No, seriously. If I were a black man, I'd be looking at my – Like I in Atlanta. And being like, can you believe this racist shit that they're just ignoring me? That literally happened at Outback. Me and a girl are sitting there, and we're kind of in that section it's next to the bar and it's like a two-person like booth table like each of you has like half a booth or something but you're next to

the bar so you're kind of in a no man's land for the wait staff and i could literally see them over there arguing over who was going to take our table like nobody wanted to take our table and i like they would accidentally make eye contact with me and then divert their eyes really quickly. Fifteen minutes went by and we didn't have menus. I went to the greeter and I was like,

hey, could we get some menus? She's like, yeah, yeah, here, take some of these. Another eight minutes went by. Then when the waitress walked by, I start waving my arms in the air like flagging her down like i'm a refugee or something like hey hey and she's like oh i'm sorry has no one waited on you yet and i was like you know they haven't i've seen you over there with your friends arguing about who was going to take this table for the last 10 minutes

you're the worst waitress ever i was like you're you're not just bad at your job you're lazy go get your manager and she started to cry a little as she went to get the manager, and it was great. I loved it. I loved it. Fuck her. I hope she lost her job and her house because of it. Yeah, I hope she's threading eyebrows at a food court right now. Oh, that would be the best, right?

I'd make her thread my pubic hair. I never do anything mean to wait staff, ever. Like, as far as people who handle my food i'm too anxious about it i don't want any fluids ending up in there the only time i did wasn't even my fault when i i've told that story before when i had to dine and dash when i was like 15 yeah i think i've told you guys that right i think so i think so yeah because my fucking asshole friend said he was paying for dinner and then he changed his mind and left and so then we had to leave after my it was only like a 12 whiskey river barbecue burger from red robin but still i felt shitty but yeah i don't fuck with those people especially not before you get your food i'm good

99 of the time that's also like uh because i i served table or i waited tables for a very very long time like uh through high school and part of college uh but then there are there are those like when you when you say like you didn't get something and there is like a uh a bartender right there and you don't know why most likely that that you got the the server that's smoking weed out back like that could have been it like oh by the way we were his only customer the place is you know wrapping up or something oh yeah that guy that guy was just because every every restaurant usually has at least one guy that's like you know that he's like you're not sure how he hasn't gotten fired yet this guy looked more like he was on he was out back doing a protein shake and some squat thrust or something this guy was fucking ripped i was i was thinking that woody might want to be careful how he talks to that big boy. I'd hate to... He was short and fit.

Very fit. Excuse me, sir. I'm less than enthused about your service thus far. If it's okay with you, I'd like my drink. Nah, he was like 19. Woody could have used his grown-up voice and made that kid cry. 100%. 100%. That's how it goes down.

Woody would have started shouting at it. It would have triggered some stuff from his stepdad back in the day and he just squalled like a baby. That's why he's getting so ripped. His stepdad beat him. But that said, yeah, you definitely don't want to fuck with the staff because 100% shit does happen to your food. Yeah, probably so.

I don't mind that. At least I know my food's getting some serious attention back there. If she's hot, I request it. Can I get a little spit? Yeah, do your worst. Do your worst.

Hey, I noticed I got, I don't know, corn here. Can you lick it? Just a little. Gross. Oh, it's gross until she licks you directly, and then you're a big fan. Yeah, I don't want to be licked transitively through my vegetable of choice. That's disgusting.

Eh, you know. Yeah, lick this asparagus, babe. I'm going to be thinking about that. You're young. You know, you start off a little vanilla, time passes, and you wonder, like, hey, what else is out there? Is that it?

When you just get to be your age, you're so jaded by normal sex stuff, it's like, yeah, lick that corn. Oh, yeah, you need a complex carb for what we're about to do. Yeah, you know, you can do the same thing for 20 years and not add to the menu? Come on. Certainly not. That makes sense. Get a little corn licking in.

What was your worst experience waiting tables? Get a little corn licking in. Wow. What was your, did you ever get, or I guess what was your worst experience waiting tables? Like the worst customer of all time that you had to deal with. Because I'm always curious with people in service industries about this story. Maya, there was this one woman. She didn't catch me on a bad day. She was just the worst.

Sent everything back. It was perfectly fine. Complained that she didn't get drinks, but that was because even when we did like one third the ice in the cup that we normally do for sweet tea, like she would just done, down it, gone. And then she'd get angry as I did like one quick loop that I didn't get her more sweet tea fast enough. And at the Outback that we worked at, you weren't allowed to bring multiple cups for one person. So I couldn't help her other than just stay on top of this lady consuming.

And she yelled at me and said the meanest shit ever. So when I say that people fuck with your food, I 100%- You guarantee it. So when I say that people fuck with your food, I 100% peed in that lady's iced tea. 100%. And at that point in my life, I don't know if I had experienced true happiness until that moment. She downed it all, huh? Yes, of course. How much pee are we talking about?

Very strategic about your pee. It was a one-third situation. Wow! So it's still diluted. But you don't understand how much sugar people put in sweet tea in the South. It's a lot. That was probably still delicious. She was like, mmm, Southern style.

I guarantee it. I guarantee it. Oh, that's great. I'm glad to hear that. I don't to hear that. I don't do that stuff. When I throw a fit at a restaurant, I feel like it's always justified. I feel like I'm not stepping out of line,

and I usually wait until I got my food before I raise a stink. More often than not. Of course you think it's justified. No one's ever throwing a fit in a restaurant being like, this is unjustified, but you will make my baked potato different. Now, I'll always ask the person with me. I'll try to get a barometer on this. I'll be like, hey, listen, I'm getting fucking pissed off over here. Am I out of line?

And usually the other person will be like, no, I'm fucking steaming too. Where is he? Where is he? We were in Savannah, and we walked out of two restaurants in a row we had to go to it was the third restaurant before we got served because the because we just i really felt like we were being racially discriminated by white people it didn't make any sense i was like why are they just not taking care of us why aren't they coming over here they see us like it's like they don't want to deal with us. Maybe the other restaurants told them about me.

There have been times that I've just been a shitty server, though. When I left Outback, I worked at Ruby Tuesdays for a while, and they were pretty horrible because instead of... At Outback, they would cap you at four tables, like four six-tops, because that's a lot. That's a lot of food coming out.

And this place didn't. And at one point I had... Huh? Nothing. At one point I had eight tables and I completely forgot one table. I didn't realize it was in my section and these people sat there for 40 minutes. Fuck. They were obviously angry but I was like, did you not ask anybody? You were the most patient people but not patient because like, oh my God, they were the angriest. They were the angriest.

Justly. But I don't know. I know that feeling they had too. That's my only bad one, but it happens. 15 minutes go by and you're like, all right, just stay calm. She'll be here in five. And then five goes by and then 10 goes by. And then you're like, wow, are they doing this on purpose?

Is someone fucking with me right now is Ashton Kutcher in the back what is this bullshit you know and then at some point you're just like oh it's just disrespect I see this is personal and it just starts eating at you until like she finally remembers your table and you just unload on her like the guns of the Navaron and

insult her like stature or something I was at the worst waitress I've ever had at a Ruby Tuesdays with my ex-girlfriend. I order sweet tea. Unsweet tea comes back. I say, I know that I ordered sweet tea. This is unsweet tea. She takes it back and returns with unsweet tea again.

And I said, I said, almost. I was like, I wanted sweet tea with sugar in it. I don't want to have to add anything to it. And this is Ruby Tuesdays in Atlanta. So they know what sweet tea is. And so she leaves again, and she comes back with sweet tea that tastes so bad that I literally asked her for Coke.

I was like, could I get a Coca-Cola? I was like, this is terrible. Three times you failed on tea. Let's go to Coke. So fourth time around, I now have my beverage. tea let's go to coke so fourth time around i now have my beverage i forgot to mention that she smells so much of of shit that we checked our shoes to see if any of us had stepped in dog shit on the way in i literally looked at my girlfriend i'm like honey i i think you might have stepped in something i was like did you step in cooper's poop maybe when you left the house

their little dog and she's like, we both check our shoes. We look around on the floor. There's no dog shit. And then our waitress comes back with the appetizer. And I'm like, oh, that's what the smell is. She literally smelled like poop. And everything was wrong about that night, like multiple, multiple failures where you had to like say, hey, I didn't get my baked potato.

Oh, well, we'll just put one in for you and i'm like okay i i don't really want baked potato in half an hour though it was it was a real mess and that's the one i tip zero i definitely didn't give her a tip and my girlfriend made a big deal of that and i was like why do you tip someone who smells like poop and fail and messes up your drink order three Like, how do they get a bonus at the end of the night? I feel like we're sending her the wrong message if we reward her for smelling like poop and, you know, failing completely at her job. If you tip her, you're tacitly saying, it is okay that you served me my food smelling of feces.

Yeah. And that's not a message you want to say. It smelled like poop. It wasn't BO. It not and she really did smell it smelled like poop it's me it wasn't Bo it wasn't like like I've smelled like I mean I've been to Walmart before I've smelled Bo you know what she needs one wipe Charlie's you'd need oh she is not a one wipe Charlie she she needs a 18 wipe Sandra haha so stinky she a little one right Charlie would have cleaned her right up and it would have been a whole different experience

for her well maybe more than one of them they're not magic but for a normal human beings asshole one is sufficient but I realize that waiting tables is a really tough job especially just an average job as long as you keep me you keep my drink pretty much filled

I usually tip 20 or 30%. But if they stand out, they're an excellent waiter, that guy could get $100 if it's a nice meal or something like that as his tip. I just use the same. And there's that end of the bell curve. And on the other end, there's zero. It can go down to zero.

Some people think that's not classy or something. But it's not like I'm leaving them a four-cent tip to rub in or anything i'm just saying like no you didn't earn a tip tonight i've only tipped zero once but it really does have to be horrific like almost like they're actively sabotaging your dining experience um i i hand out the zeros probably more readily than you if they if i feel like they're just legitimately i hand out the nickels if i need to it's been a long time but like for example there's a loud party here and they seat me next to them and i'm like hey can we sit here instead and they say no oh you might have a nickel in your future you're trending that way already this guy one of my friends when god i must have been like seven or eight uh when i would go

to dinner or lunch or something out to lunch with this friend's family because i was on the hockey team with him and sometimes they would drive me to games and stuff and then afterward they'd be like hey you guys want to go get whatever food we get chicken wings at mulligans or something like yeah yeah yeah so we go and this guy at the beginning of every fucking meal we had with him i don't know why he had so many ones on him all the time you know looking back maybe i have a clue now but maybe one strip clubs but he would start out every meal with twenty dollars in ones put in the middle of the table he did that he made this move he he would all he would have twenty dollars in ones put there and anytime something was less than you know perfect he would have $20 in ones put there. And any time something was less than perfect,

he would take a dollar back off of his potential tip money. And so it's like, oh, I'm sorry. Let me get you a refill. I see that your tea's been empty for a while. All right. Well, it looks like we're down to 16, Sandra. Even at that age, I was like, what kind of fucking game show is Mr. Johnston running right now? Like, what the fuck? Like, this is not like, to me, looking at that age i was like what kind of fucking game show is mr johnston running right now like

what the fuck like this is this is not like to me looking at that waiter like you know when you're like seven and you see someone who's like 18 you're like that's an adult but looking back it's like no this guy was tormenting children just trying to you know make enough money to drive their car to school and back and by taking uh, uh, yeah, that's, you know, stakes, medium, rare wanted it medium. That's $3 or just some nonsense. That guy was an asshole. His son was an asshole too. So Apple doesn't fall far.

Anyway, I don't know why that came to me all of a sudden. Hmm. So when's the primary? Is it, it's Saturday. Maybe it's super another caucus, the Iowa caucus. Oh, I was like, I don't think it's forurday maybe it's super another caucus the iowa caucus oh i was like i don't think it's for a bit um yeah i'm not sure i'm looking i'll know in a moment i've definitely

this this uh this cycle i've definitely covered uh the politics stuff a lot less yeah last time you were like literally like the youtube voice of post-debate analysis. Yeah, it was RNCDNC. It just gave me a bad taste in my mouth. I don't know. I just saw a lot of blind people on both sides. I will always remember going to the RNC, and we made a special logo for the Philip DeFranco show for us being there.

And it was my chimpanzee and instead of the orange and yellow stripes, we had stars and bars. And so it was like our political chimp. And people thought it was an Obama shirt, like a racist Obama shirt, and we got lots of love for it. And I was like, we can't have this in the live stream if people are thinking this. Oh my god. You need to go to the PGA round and sell tons of them.

Which is worse, getting lots of love for it or getting lots of hate for it, though? I don't want to, I don't think about my legacy. I don't want that to be a part of my legacy. Here's a big question. Here's a big question. Do you have any more of those shirts? Do those exist? No. of my life here's a big question here's a big question do you have any more of those shirts do those exist no i think we have uh we have one like uh thing that we have on a wall but uh it's

like one of the early versions i think it's like the chimpanzee with three stars okay yeah i just didn't know how to react to it i was just like like, okay, this is just not going to happen. I chopped, I had this target, there's this company called Zombie Industries, and they make these zombie targets that shoot them and they bleed. Well, they made one that was just a black guy, and they send me

a bunch of them at a time. I'd get an alien, I'd get a crazy zombie woman, and I had a black guy. And it came time in the video to use a samurai sword to cut the head off this thing and the only one i have is the black guy and he looks vaguely like barack obama i mean just you know just a black man with short dark hair he's obama apparently and that was all in the comments it was just nice job chopping his head off you know just just all this racist garbage all these all these uh

words they shouldn't be using about a president and just like really backing me up for taking him down a notch and i'm like oh no i just wanted to show you my sword dude come on i like i just like that as an excuse for everything. I just wanted to show you my sword, dude. It's a fun sentence. Didn't mean to be racist. Wasn't making a political statement. I'm not appropriating Japanese culture with my samurai sword. Oh man, that's some shit that'll set me off.

Cultural appropriation stuff. Have you ever been accused of that? No, but I'll bring up a story that banned a free yoga class because they said it was cultural appropriation. Come on! Only certain people can get in shape

in ways they enjoy. Not you, whitey. This is America. It's all adopting all these different things into our bucket. That's what I'm hoping at least Yeah, and nobody's ever like take something that's associated with like white people or white Civilizations that they invented and telling other people like hey you can't use that You can't use that toilet that John C commode invented in the 1700s. That's a white invention

You're appropriating our shit culture. His last name was Crapper, right? Yes. Jonathan C. Crapper. It really was. I'm not kidding. I've heard that before. I'm not sure if it's true. It's not true. Who wants to take a bet? I'll take it. PayPal bet right now. Real money.

Actually pay. You down? So what I'm saying is that there's a guy whose last name is Crapper who was influential, if not the very inventor of sort of the indoor commode. Oh, wow. Toilet. A guy named Crapper. I got $25, even odds anybody wants to take it. I just don't know if I want to take the influential part.

At that point, all you need to do is have some guy named Crapper make toilets. I mean, did Benjamin Franklin invent electricity? No, but you would say he's the guy. I say that he is the Benjamin Franklin of toilets. So here's what it says. It says, myth, Thomas Crapper invented the toilet. Truth, he purchased some

patents and made some improvements, but the idea that he invented it is untrue. John Harrington invented the toilet. What were his improvements though? Because if he added the fucking handle then... This is why I didn't take the influential part of it.

No, no, no. John Harrington invented the flushable toilet. I bet. Let's see what Crapper added to the mix here because... Basically just a lewd word for what goes into them. Add to the toilet.

Thomas Crapper, inventor of the flushing toilet. On this day in history, 1910, engineer who was credited with the invention of the flushing toilet and adding to the world. The English Crapper was born in... I don't know. Part of me wants to, like, obviously toilet and the world crap word crap things crapper was born and this whole

whole part of me wants to like obviously make fun of the fact that that's like his legacy but actually like toilets are like a huge deal acid mass for hygiene yeah the difference between it being in water being carried away from you and having to look at shit somebody else is like in the street when people were just throwing buckets full of it at like oliver twist and that stuff like that's that's a huge difference you don't want to live in that world i can tell you every every day i think merca one invented the ball cock but he invented the ball cock which i had to look up apparently you know the little floaty ball that determines whether or not it should fit it's like a lever kind of either

plugs it or fills it um he invented that part i don't know obviously he didn't invent the flush toilet so there was some maybe he doesn't maybe maybe before that it was the ones with the uh the the thing like in godfather you know the the chain and the thing up on the wall that's still a flush toilet i know but maybe his didn't require maybe his was what require... Maybe his was... You know how they used to have the up-high water source that poured down? Maybe that's what it was previous to Crapper.

I'm not sure. I don't know, but I know that the one that we were referring to was John Harrington, which means I win. Okay, Crapper held nine patents, three of them for water closet improvements such as the floating ball cock, but none was for the flushing toilet itself. Thomas Crapper's advertisements implied the siphonic flush was his invention,

one having the text, Crapper's Valveless Water Waste Preventer, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. He did improve the siphon mechanism by which the water flow is started. Improving. Similar, but not identical to inventing. Certainly not. Which is why I phrased it so.

Yes, John Harrington, the writer. I actually only looked at the front page. I didn't actually check to see if this is right. Wow, 1560 to 1612? This guy beat Crapper by centuries. Well, I think I have a solution for this. How about we let the PKA subreddit create a poll and determine whether or not...

I mean, they heard the whole thing. They heard Kyle's phrasing. He either invented it or it was influential. And you can determine whether or not, you know, making it from one... What, he owes me some money or not? I know if they know. I'm sure I didn't take that bet because of the influential thing.

Yeah, nobody took it. Taylor did. Oh, did he? Yeah, he. Yeah, I did. In very clear words, he did. So it's you and Taylor. What's Missouri?

What's like what's what's a product of Missouri? Like in Georgia, it would be peaches. Like if we were making like a Super Bowl bet or Like, in Georgia, it would be peaches. Like, if we were making, like, a Super Bowl bet, we would be governors of our states. In Carolina, it would be tobacco. I'd bet a basket of peaches. Here, it would be Anaheiser Bush. Oh, that's so lame.

I don't want that at all. That'd be like a... Okay, Monsanto, I'll send you some seeds. Yeah, send me some Roundup. Send me a... If I win, I get a gallon of Roundup, and if you win, you get a basket of peaches. That'll be fun.

Don't send me a basket of peaches in the mail. You asshole. I just described my shitting problem earlier. I don't need a basket of peaches. We got the best peaches. Actually, Florida has the best peaches. I can send you St. Louis Blues shot glass. I don't want that at all.

I don't want that at all. You glass. I don't want that at all. I don't want that at all. You ass. I don't want that at all. I'll send you a fresh bottle of Budweiser. One. I would prefer nothing at all to a bottle of Budweiser. Like I would rather go thirsty. It's so gross, man.

I'll send you some toasted ravioli. That's a thing right here. That'll do the trick. Toasted ravioli? Those are great. What's inside thing. That'll do the trick. Toasted ravioli. Those are great. What's inside of it? Like cheese or meat? Uh,

you can get cheese or you can get a beef or pork. I think beef is the best. The problem with this bet is it won't actually happen. Of course not. Yeah. Although my girlfriend was talking about driving to Missouri the other day to pick up your chance. Kyle's getting a basket of peaches sent to you.

Well, if I, if I, if I come to Missouri, then I'd already be there. Yeah. Where would you be coming? I mean, St. Louis is on your side of the... Yeah, but we're not sure. So it's about, I think it's like 11 hours from me to like the middle of Missouri, more or less.

Yeah, it's pretty awful. yeah it's it's pretty awful but there's some kind of really nice uh purebred uh top of the line dog that uh that she might want to get so we might end up going to missouri to get the dog and uh and i was like why don't they just ship that fucking dog we're talking about like 200 dollars worth of gasoline at least but it's anyway might be coming to missouri town in missouri don't know didn't ask i just googled Googled or ran a thing on my phone to see my address to Missouri. I just typed that in and got 11 hours. But it was taking me to sort of central Missouri. Well, if you come through St. Louis, stop by.

We'll go to a hockey game or something. Yeah, that'd be fun. Did you ever look at your schedule to see if there's some time in February where we could all go to the Wings of Redemption's house and do a live PKA? And I can bring Woody his gun, and we can do our hot sauce pictures and get like three. It's really looking like I'm going to be able to. Yeah. Nice.

I'll know for sure on Tuesday. Tuesday, maybe early Wednesday. But it's looking good that I should be able to go later in February. That'll be a lot of fun. Yeah, I think it'll be a lot of fun. Maybe we could even plan one day on the backside of it and hang out. I don't know if that's

if your schedule's flexible like that, but in any case, I think it'd be fun to get all of us in one place, in one location. We've never done that before, and do a show. And do a live show. I'd like that. Not live streamed necessarily, but us all sitting in the room and a camera rolling.

That's what I mean by that. I think that would be a really cool show. Yeah, that would be a ton of fun. And you get to meet Wings. Have you met Wings before in person? I've never met Wings in person. Yeah, man. That's an experience.

The first time you meet Wings, it's an experience. Like the first time you meet Wings, it's an experience. What's experiencing about it? You just got to be in the guy's presence. I feel like you spend some time with him, you get a whole new appreciation for Wings. You see what he's all about. Because seeing him on the internet just doesn't do it justice.

When you're there with him in person, and you can't just turn the video off. He's just going to keep going. There's two wings. There's the wings out of his element. Like when I saw him in California, he was sensitive and vulnerable, dressed nice. You know, he's going out clothes and thoughtful. That's the wings out of his element.

And then there's the wings at home, right? And there you have like Gangster Grandma and Bastard Brooke, I think, was there at the time and all sorts of sister and, you know, bit actors in the wings universe that you're unfamiliar with. And he's bouncing back and forth between them and you. Wings will tear you down personally at the drop of a hat and you would

think someone who lived in such a glass house would be polite and never point out someone else's flaws he will go after you immediately about the most personal of things my friend jeremy comes over and jeremy lives for his pickup truck but it's not a real z71 it's just got the stickers immediately wings is like it's not a real z71 that's this and that you don't even have a real truck and this is a guy who like lives for his truck you know what he said to me as soon as we got in my car and went somewhere like he'd been there like a day i thought you were bigger than this on the internet it looks like you've got some big jacked arms you look good but i don't know and i'm thinking like are you really picking on my physical appearance right now as i drive your 440 pound ass to go get some shake weights are you

really doing this right now bro because like i will beat you up right here at dick's sporting goods i will hit you once make you chase me for five minutes and he'll pass out stop you know what i thought he does it all the time um wings used to stack rank us from fattest to thinnest on the show all the time had no clue and he'd always get it wrong like it was interesting to me that like you know he he couldn't tell kyle lefty and me heaviest to thinnest and never seemed to know and it like uh it's like a projected body dysmorphia. I don't know what to call it, but when you literally can't tell

which person's fatter than the other. Lefty, if you don't know, the reason he never came to the paintball things or anything is he was embarrassed of his body. He's a big guy. He would just show neck up and that's it. The reason you never saw him stand on camera is because he didn't want to be seen. Every time he left camera, he'd do it like this.

And then he'd get up and walk away. He did that forever. People thought he was in a wheelchair. It was a running joke. And we propagated the rumor. Yeah, and of course we ran with that racist wheelchair. I thought he was actually in a wheelchair for the longest time. Did you really?

Yeah, because I wasn't like involved in the show till i got brought back on as a host and i would like check in every once in a while and be like uh man like he that's that's crazy you know good for lefty you know fighting through adversity yeah but then wings just because he can't stand so so there's that's who lefty was right you know he's always sort of fighting the battle of the bulge and uh wings would have no idea like he would think lefty was the thinnest of, he's always sort of fighting the battle of the bulge. And Wings would have no idea. Like, he would think Lefty was the thinnest of the group sometimes or the heaviest of the group.

He never knew. And I always thought that was interesting. Like, oh, he's just having a hard time seeing who's who. Wings is a different guy. That's what makes Wings so interesting and fun and entertaining is because he is a real outsider. He's not like us. He's almost like not human.'s not, he's almost like

not human. And I don't mean that to be an insult or anything, but he comes at things in a way that the average rational human being wouldn't come at things. And he, and he comes away from things with conclusions that, that the average rational human being wouldn't either. And when you live your whole life like that that you've got just so many ridiculous stories and opinions on things and that's what wings is so uh what i was getting at is you need to hang out with wings in person see what it's all about it's uh it's a real good time yeah well you didn't make it sound like that yeah you made it sound like i'm gonna meet him and he's gonna immediately start berating me oh he might he might like like he'll he really will he'll he'll like he'll these little jabs and stuff he does it to everyone he hasn't done it to

me but i don't feel safe because i think he totally has i can't he said you didn't have a personality oh he said he has no personality that yeah yeah he's like yeah the reason people don't said it in person did he he said it on the. He's a weird personality and went on at length about how you didn't have one and how you didn't have any real opinions. Yeah, he's mean to everybody, man. I mean, as long as he can, like, if he's dishing it, if you dish it back to him, as long as he takes that, it's just kind of good-natured ribbing.

Oh, no, you have the rules wrong. No, that's not how you play. Well, I don't know him half as well. You receive the berating. Yeah, Wings is the pitcher. Wings doesn't like to catch disapproval. But I really like Wings because deep down, Wings seems to be like a genuinely kind-hearted, good-intending guy.

So, yeah, I'd like to hang out with Wings again. I'd like to see what he's up to, talk to him personally. Because, you know, you're never really getting the full deal on the internet through his videos, podcasts, or whatever you might see him. I like to see him in person and you get a whole other side of Wings. It's interesting.

I don't know what else to say about it. Every time I hang out with Wings, I come away with it thinking like that was an experience. Alright. Now I've got some more stories. Yeah. You need to meet him. Phil, you think you could have done what you've done from New York? Yeah.

Yeah, definitely. I mean, there are a little few different things. Well, I originally came out specifically for the weather and helped Shay and a bunch of those guys start Maker. And I was just really tired of the East Coast at that point. I just wanted to experience something different. And so I came out here, fell in love with kind of like the beach life for a few years. And then I feel like that's kind of when the gold rush happened,

where everyone just came out here. And for some reason, a lot of people got the idea that you had to be here. Which to some extent, a little bit you do, but I feel like a lot of, especially the big family bloggers or daily bloggers, I feel like a lot of their numbers go up when they get away from LA because it's such a saturated market for like, oh that's LA life. That's great. That's another YouTuber doing that thing. But I mean, my plan right now is probably in the next two years, move.

Maybe I've been thinking about Utah. Really? Yeah, I mean, they've been doing a bunch of production stuff up there and building out that. I mean, obviously, it has like the Sundance area of like Park City and like those events Pravo lots of Mormons

but I mean every time I go out there because my wife's family has a place there it's just really nice good great people like people that are actually neighborly like I know one of my neighbors, but I went up there and I stayed there for a week and I met everyone in the neighborhood and they

were amazing and nice and helpful. And there's everyone's out there is like really active. And the like the area that we're thinking of potentially going, it's like great schools because schools are an issue out here now that I have a son. So I think it's still a big market for it, but I think it's going to be less so. I think it's a place that you can come and visit, but you don't necessarily have to. I mean, that's one of the reasons I got into this, so I could do it anywhere. And then I locked myself down at a place for years. I love the position I'm in, but moving forward, I don't know if I want to be here

24-7. I think I'd like to get a small place here so I can conduct business when I fly out, but I want to live somewhere real. Like Utah. Are you concerned about the Utah beer laws? It's real shit out there. I feel like as long as i i am prepared

i'll be good because i mean when we lived in when we lived in or when i lived in north carolina there were certain places where it was like the time there was weird timing around when you could get places and where you could actually get it like you couldn't go it's not that it's not just that it's uh in utah uh there first of all, there's no happy hour. If you order drinks at a restaurant, I think they just changed it, but you used to have to order food. If you get a mixed drink, they can pour exactly one jigger in while hidden behind the Zion curtain, which is like frosted glass.

And then if you order an extra shot in it, they can bring that to you, but they can't mix it themselves because that's illegal. And the beer they make is 3.2 percent it can't be any stronger than 3.2 percent i went through the salt lake city airport at one point and i just sat down had a layover and ordered like one of their tall beers like just like a regular fucking bud light and i was drinking it and i was just like something's off like this is weird and i asked some other dude there like does your beer taste weird too because he had a Bud Light and he's like yeah it's Utah man 3.2% it's ridiculous

and it's like you can't even get drunk on this years ago I went to Sundance with a few other tubers and yeah we got drinks and I was like oh can I get a double and they said no and I said oh wait what and they're like no welcome to Utah and I was like oh can I get a double and they said no and I said oh wait what and they're

like no welcome to Utah and I was like what what um but yeah I mean I would just uh you know pre-game an uber pre-game an uber yeah I guess you have to just stick to hard liquor out there but yeah it's I was out there for a while not in Utah but Idaho, and there's still a ton of Mormons there. And their beliefs are crazy, but those people are so genuinely nice that it took me back at first when I would meet someone and I knew they were Mormon. And they'd just be like, oh, it's so nice to meet you. Where are you from? Tell me about that. And it was so friendly that it almost turned me off where it was like you want something. Nobody's this nice unless they want something there's nobody's this nice

unless they want something and it's they are like mormons really are just genuinely good people for the most part yeah the only other place i think i might move we've played around with the idea of new york but i i think that i've been investing the past like two years i've been investing heavily into uh marijuana businesses um because i think that's like that's going to be the new gold rush. Once again, it's going to be a big dependency on How did you invest in them? There are companies that focus on grow farms.

They make all the equipment so you can do the grow farms. There's a company that I won't necessarily name because I also don't know what my word can affect. Their stock, they were like a dollar stock and they just jumped to three. And it's just, depending on what happens, that's just with very little legalization. If it eventually ever gets to

a federal level or just even state by state it's just it's it's there's so much money to be made yeah yeah i don't even know where to begin to invest in shit like that that's what was one of the challenges like there are some like marijuana mutual funds they put together that try to spread your money across them but i haven't found anything that i want to put my money in yet i don't know yeah did you pick individual companies or did you find a fund that spreads it there is no i've picked uh mainly one individual company and i feel like i'm gonna double down probably this year just in in other companies but because investing in general is new to me um but as soon as it became it was like sure a little angel

investing that i don't talk about in my videos, and then specifically a focus on marijuana. When I wanted to jump into the stock market, it was just all over the place. Even now, it's still like, in general, other than this thing that I want for the long haul, it scares me. But I think it's the one thing that I believe in. It seems like it makes sense and that more and more people are coming to that side of it yeah i'm going to colorado uh next week i've never been before yeah i got a cabin up in the mountains it's gonna be fun but yeah um oh wait i'd rather not say yeah i was like wait wait wait sorry very it's a really

remote uh area um i think it's probably in the southern part of the state. Yeah, my brother-in-law decided to just randomly live in Steamboat for like nine months. And he was like a ski instructor, and he just had a good time, smoked a lot of weed, and went up the mountain. Yeah, I've never been before. This is my first time out there. Kitty's been a couple times. She's got friends out there, and I'm kind of friends with them too. Actually,

Chiz is coming too. There was once a plan for your kitty to move out there. She has considered that as a place to go. I know that CBD oil helps with her arthritis a lot, so she's really interested in that. I think she's considering Houston now. I think that's where she might

want to go. Houston? Houston. She's got friends there that. I think she's considering Houston now. I think that's where she might want to go. Houston? Houston. She's got friends there. Oh, okay. Houston's a neat town. There's a lot of fat people in Houston. And not just normal fat. Like, my God, draw on a crowd fat.

Like super obese peoples? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Of course, my experience there is limited to like i don't know 10 mile radius from the airport i guess but you know i've been i'm from the midwest so i know fat i've been to houston i think three different times i really like it there um i like austin better i think but they're wildly different places Texas is a great place every time I go to Texas there's so many stereotypes about Texas

and everybody makes fun of them but I have a great time every single time I go it's such a big state you can't tag any part of it Austin is so much different than Houston oh yeah if someone ever said to me I've been to Texas before

what do you mean? Because it's like the third the size of the fucking continent. It's enormous. It's one side of Texas is completely different than the other. It's like saying I've been to Europe and not specifying country. It's like, where'd you go?

Yeah. But I love Texas. Every time we go, the gun laws are great there. I think they just added open carry without a permit, maybe. That's a new thing love Texas. Every time we go, the gun laws are great there. I think they just added open carry without a permit maybe. That's a new thing for Texas. I'm not sure. I think they may have had it at one point before. And my source is awful, but I remember – do you remember Michael Moore made that anti-gun movie?

Yes, Bowling for Columbine. Seems like him, yeah. Yeah, I remember him saying that texas had open carry and he showed this guy who seemed drunk or crazy like posing with his cowboy rig you know like two six shooters and a bunch of um you know bullets in the is it called a bandolier when it's on your belt but you can picture it all the bullets on the belt and then they're like now you can carry it like this and i saw it and I'm like, that's crazy because it's clearly a crazy guy with two guns

allowed to carry him around. Since then, I've been exposed to so many more guns. Open carry is just, I don't know, a more comfortable way to carry. It doesn't make sense. I would never open carry. I would never open carry because I'm a pussy and I just prefer not to draw attention to myself.

Well, it's open carry without a license. That's the big thing. They have that here as well. I think it's often referred to as constitutional carry. New Mexico has it. I can't think of all the others. I have a concealed carry permit, so it kind of supersedes that most of the time,

and I don't open carry. I don't find that to be an effective way to go about life in north carolina you can open carry but you need a license which i have to conceal carry and um so open carry is like the the easy way to do it but um i don't see anyone open carry and i just i felt like if i open carried people would look or point or something they probably wouldn't. They do. Yeah, they do. You make a bit of a scene when you go in somewhere packing heat.

My cousin Scott open carries some. He'll carry his 1911. Josh will for sure. He's 21 years old, and he just got his thing, so he'll often open carry. It's not a great idea. No. No no you're just making yourself the first guy that gets shot yeah just in case something goes wrong where it's like uh who am i gonna start with first in this crowded theater oh how about the guy who walked in like yosemite sam with two stick shooters yeah i'm gonna kill that guy and then if i run out of ammunition the gun that i brought that's

hidden from everyone i'll just walk over to his corpse, you know, a couple more rounds. No. Never. I made a video about that one time, and I was talking about the differences, and it's like, what are you trying to accomplish by being an open carry guy? Like, are you just wanting to flex your constitutional muscle? Is that it? Because if so, alright then, now you've come up with a great reason. Okay. But if your whole point is to be some sort of

stopping a crime in progress slash defending yourself and the public safety, if that's your goal, then you walk in that liquor store, the guy who's about to rob it sees you has a gun, he either leaves and robs someone else or kills you and then proceeds to rob the liquor store. You're not going to prevent any crimes.

Let me answer your question. It's hard to jump on. When I concealed carry, it's always with what they call a mouse gun. It's very small. I could almost hide it with just one hand, like, you know, put it behind it, whatever. And if I were to try to carry something much bigger than that, I feel like I'd need bigger pants. Like, I can't stick a 1911 inside my waistband. You'd be surprised.

I'm inside the waistband. There's a lot of woody in that waistband. Actually, my pants right now, they're falling off me. I have to keep tightening up my belt. Has that ever been your weight gain alert where you have an in the pants holster and then you go to do it one day and you're like yes i'm not carrying today

it's just yeah yeah it totally has i don't have that medium gun that you might concealed carry i guess i have a 1911 that's not full size but hey that we were talking about this earlier uh e there's an eaa witness uh compact nine millimeter google that one that one's pretty pretty nifty and i have an eaa witness like the full size nine and it's it's wonderful it reminds me a lot of that um i'm having a hard time remembering which gun it was yeah the cz yeah exactly it's based on the CZ-75. Really? I want to go to a big gun store that has like 200 feet of pistols that I can just try them and see what the triggers are like. I want to go to a cool one. A store or a show?

A store. I don't love the gun show experience. You're always bumping shoulders with too many people. It's a crowded expo of a thing. And there's a bunch of, I don't know, there's just the scent of racism and anti-Obama in the air. They're all there in their mossy oak. They're all wearing Philip DeFranco shirts for some reason. They came in and bought like a thousand of them.

I think they were cheap yeah like they've got camo winter jackets on their hunter orange cap um they're just like literally like you know fucking complaining about obama in line as we wait to get in and then you get in and they're just i don't know that overweight hunter looking people crowding out the table and I feel like, would I push back and stand my ground on this shit? That's my gun show experience. I don't like it.

I have never had this experience. Really? It's shot show. It's a madhouse. It's shoulder to shoulder. I'm literally rubbing it against people as they recognize me sometimes. It's a nightmare. But at most literally rubbing it against people as they recognize me sometimes. It's a nightmare. But at most gun shows, I find that you walk around, look at all the things you want to see.

The tables aren't three deep. You don't have to work your way to the front. I'm an actual buyer. You look, you lose. The only thing close to that I've ever experienced would be at Knob Creek, where they have that massive outdoor kind of thing. And there's, I guess, a couple thousand people there milling around. And then it can be a little bit,

especially around the good ammo and good stuff, it can be pretty thick. But when I go to like, we went to that one in Harrisburg, and I did that appearance in Pennsylvania. It wasn't crazy there. And the ones I've been to here in Georgia, usually you can get in there and get what you want and get out i want to go to a gun door on a weekday you know where i'm the only customer there the guy says do you have any

questions and i say hell yeah let's look at them all that's that's the experience i'm looking for i uh there's a couple of really good gun stores here in athens um there's franklin's gun shop and there's clyde's Armory. And both of them are, they got lots and lots of fucking guns. I guess there's no other way to put it than that. Just lots and lots of fucking guns. There's a good one in Fuquay, which isn't close to me. But there's one called, I think Carolina Gun Runners or something like that near me.

And I haven't been there, but their online pictures made it look good. So I think I'll check them out. Yeah, that... I'm not sure what you're in the market for. I don't know why you want a handgun. To me, I'm completely disinterested in handguns right now. If I wanted a new gun, it would definitely be a semi-automatic rifle or... That's the thing I'm completely disinterested in.

If I could see a lever action rifle or... It would be nice to have a 9mm AR conversion, one of those deals. Those are cool. Like a tricked out one, like a 9mm AR, 45 AR. That would take grease gun mags or something cool like that. Like an SPR with integrally suppressed, that'd be cool. But as far as handguns like

i'm eating up with handguns i have i have half a dozen nine millimeters and 538s and they're just i got all the handguns i need um but now that i say that it's like don't you have all the semi-auto rifles yeah that's how it dude i i don't have your semi-auto rifle experience right but if you gave me an acr a scar an ar-15 an m4 which is far as i can tell an ar-15 and um i don't know am i missing any off this list they're all the same to me did we lose k hell, undefeated in gun debates. I'm here. Oh, I thought you were gone. Can you hear me? For a second, I think I couldn't.

There's lots of different operating systems. If you go to something like an AK or to something like the FAL-type rifles, they have rock and lock mags. I don't know. I could probably stump you if I thought real hard and tried to pick out a gun that's difficult to operate, like if I come up with an Ultimax or something. But yeah, you're right.

Most semi-autos are very similar in their operation. And I feel like the thrill I get from my AR-15 is very similar to the thrill you might get from your ACR. Like they're just... I get that the ACR in some subtle way is better, but not to me. Quick change barrel, like five different calibers i can go to but they never came out with dude you know i so i watched a bunch of hiccup 45 videos and then i started getting into his son's videos have you ever watched his stuff

no i've met his son a few times he's a nice guy i people sometimes say should we have Hickok45 on the show? He's really weird about collaborations and stuff like that and doing anything online with other people. Yeah, just to wrap up that thought, I like Hickok45. I feel like if he was my neighbor, there's a different version of all of us, right? Like on this show, I somehow try to be both like, I don't know, child and pedo at the same time. You know? I love that.

Make that a shirt, Taylor. Figure that out. Nobody's going to buy a child in pedo you know like telling some jokes fly that flag you know this is the show where you kind of cut loose and unfilter the version of me

that watches movies with my family is a different guy the version of me in front of my own parents like you know like I think we all have these things the professional Woody that worked at Cisco was, you know, a slightly different variant. Yet, I feel like I'd really get along with Hickok, but not this version of me. He doesn't want to be on this show, but his son might.

I feel like that would be fun. People don't know his son is a full-fledged adult. I'm pegging him at like 27. Like he's not you know we're not getting some 15 year old i'm just still trying to absorb what the hell you just said and they're both and they're both enormous people they're they're both like six four six five or something no six eight yeah i was about to say the son i think might be crazier crazy tall i didn't think hickok was six eight is h Is Hickok 6'8"? He could be 6'5".

The sun's 6'8". I thought Hickok was 6'8". He's always by himself in those videos, so you can't tell. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I haven't seen him since like SHOT Show a year and a half or two years ago or something like that,

but the sun I thought was taller, and I thought Hickok was like two inches taller than me, something like that. I pegged Hickok at like 6'4", 6'5", and I always figured his son was, I don't know, I guess I never really measured him up, but I knew he was enormous too. There's a lot of tall people that are in that. Whenever we meet up at SHOT Show or something, like Richard, he's tall.

He's taller than me. Who's the other guy? Oh, 22 Plinkster. He's really than me. Who's the other guy? Oh, 22 Plinkster. He's really fucking tall. And I'm trying to think who the other one is that's really tall. The joke on him is that his aim is not really that good. It's just that he reaches halfway to the target. Yeah, the joke is that he's probably the most talented shooter on YouTube.

He's fucking incredible. That dude does some cool shit. Well, I could too if I could reach halfway to the time he's got a he's got a video where he's like in a rowboat rowing rowing down a waterway and he like splits a card with a handgun as you as you rose past that's that's in like the the for the uh the foreground of the camera that's shooting this whole thing like he's paddling and he just sits his paddle in his lap draws his gun and splits the card. You know, shooting aspirin out of the air and shit like that. Richard went down there and filmed some stuff with him.

And I know it took a bunch of takes, but man, they did some cool shit. He's a very good shot with that.22 pistol. I would totally let him shoot a cigarette out of my mouth. I would totally let him shoot something out of my hand, like an apple or something, anything like that. I wouldn't even flinch. Do it. Go for it. This is where I line up with Taylor earlier in the show. It seems like

a risk that's not necessary. I would bet that he can hit an apple, but I don't really get why I need to put it on my head. I once proved that I bet he can hit the apple. I bet he can hit the apple a thousand fucking times in a row every single time and I'd stake my life on it I guarantee you could do it but what's the wind there views like that no no I wouldn't record such a thing I do it privately I feel like it'd be exciting I'd be it'd be fun to just do like the The really fun stuff that I usually... Yeah, yeah.

That's insane. We do stuff like... He does stuff like that. Yeah, we do stuff that isn't exactly appropriate for YouTube and I don't upload. He's offered. Like, hey, Woody, I'd let you shoot a watermelon. I'm like, no, no.

I'm going to decline that on your behalf. Yeah, I've had people ask me to shoot fruit out of their hands. I probably shouldn't say if I've ever indulged them or not. I might have. You would have said you didn't. It's possible I shot a cantaloupe out of a guy's hand one time. I don't know. Not completely out of the realm of possibility.

What if he just just the one shot in 10,000 that he would miss he just yeah you're biting into that apple like a pig by King Arthur and then he shoots from the side and instead of going straight through the core he catches this side of the apple and suddenly you're no front teeth

Kyle in Georgia your mouth is wired like your next videos. In retrospect, I wish I hadn't invited you to go shoot an apple out of my mouth. But you just fucking spit up like an animal. So it turns out 22 plinks are fucking sucks! I had way too much faith in his ability to hit fruit out of my mouth.

Three more takes and he'll kill you. Remember to rate the video and favorite and share it with friends. Hello, my name is Ian Pielrosha. I can't open my mouth. That would be awful. But seriously,

22, Plinkster's probably the best shot on there. He's definitely done more difficult shots than most. I know there's a lot of guys that do that sort of thing, like shooting stuff at long range. And it's impressive and all, but if you sit there and just keep shooting enough, like 500 yards, 1,000 yards, or whatever it may be,

you'll eventually hit the fucking target. So that stuff doesn't really impress me that much. It's really cool, and people that do it, they're doing a great job. But I'm more impressed when I see 22 Plinkster doing that that crazy stuff he does i'm more about the personality of the shooter well like hickok's a really good shooter but that's not why i watch him his son too um if i saw a regular guy out there hit you know four out of his seven shots i'd be like all right you know maybe i don't know i wouldn't really judge him i don't care yeah yeah um i don't know i don't watch those videos to be honest because i feel like you know i could take something from

someone else's thing um i always hate schumer it up yeah yeah i can amy schumer it up i'd always hate when people do that like like one week we would shoot an arrow out of a shotgun and then you see it on like fucking um discovery channel a month later the uh those those gun guys have just stolen it and there were like three or four videos that i did that got i don't know eight twelve million views and then you'd see the same concept six months later on discovery channel it's like those motherfuckers like like they can't even come up with their own like they're even shooting the same targets i shoot like they never did that before um so i don't like watching anybody else's shit because i don't want to even have the possibility of being accused of copying someone because i don't watch

anyone i don't know what anybody else is doing we i don't know if we were talking about that before the show uh on behalf of discovery i would like to to say that there there is definitely parallel thinking no i uh i don't know that was sons of guns so i don't even i don't even i don't even know what show you're talking about. Sons of Guns, the main guy on the show, got in trouble for – it turned out he'd raped his daughters and molested them all up real good, and that came out. And so Discovery kind of cut ties with him a couple years ago after all that.

I'm pretty glad I didn't appear on that show with him too when they asked me to. Yeah. That's not like a Dog the bounty hunter voicemail level faux pas that's like there's no coming back from yeah he just raped his daughters for for a few years that's all i've met all of them before it too it's so awkward like i don't know them by any means but i've like i've met them all before so that that was um surprising that that he was a child molester who abused his daughters for years, apparently. Yeah.

Serves him right for taking my ideas. It's crazy. That's what? I said that's awful. What did you think I say? No, no, not you. Not you. I said it serves him right for taking my ideas.

But then I was like, how does that make sense? It doesn't make sense. But, you know, it's good that a bad thing happened to him because he was clearly ripping me off forever, just completely copying a thing. We just jammed the, when we shot the arrow out of the shotgun,

I was just like, all right. I like that it's about Kyle. Good he was caught for raping his daughter because you know, those were my video ideas. The important thing here is that I was vilified. That's all that matters is from from my point of view i can't see any other angle on this whole thing i'm at a loss as well i like that taylor a shirt that says all children are pedophiles they are yeah i like that we need we need that a titty milk shirt i think think those would be real nice. Should they leak

from the nipples out the front of the shirt? No, they won't do that. We have one coming out that says, taking the eye out of risk. Another RSK shirt. That's just because a lot of people seem to like it. They thought of it.

All children are pedophiles. I'll see if the graphics guys are willing to put something together with that. Maybe a little guidance there. Now I want to see something really nasty going on. Some baby fucking. Well, maybe not that.

That's a little gauche. You don't want to have actual penetration on your t-shirt. I want full penetration. Full penetration. Back to the lab. Full penetration. What was that Sunny episode?

Where they have Dolph Lundgren? Huh? Dolph Lundgren? The Dolph Lundgren episode of It's Always Sunny, where they come up with the idea to have him be in full penetration as a lab scientist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Frank's movies always involve full penetration scenes. I really hope they pull it together this season,

because we've said it a few times, this season's a little blah. That first episode was good, but they've kind of been shitty since. I don't know what's going on. It's my favorite show. My background right now on my PC is Fight Milk. It's the Fight Milk logo, like the crow

with the muscles and everything. I wanted a Fight Milk forever. I kept looking online for Fight Milk shirts, and they don't exist. I wish they'd take advantage of, capitalize on that marketing potential there and make some Fight Milk shirts. Hey, maybe with this Titty Milk shirt you're thinking

of, maybe we could employ a little parallel thinking. I like this little parallel thinking. Woody's shirt is great. Yeah, Taylor came up with that. Gluten. Something attention seekers are allergic to. I like that a lot.

Alright, I think we should call the show there alrighty painkiller ready episode 267 thanks for coming out yep