Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #269

Episode Date: February 18, 2016

This week on PKA, the infamous Strain Central, aka Josh, joins the show and they talk a lot about the pot industry, then we go down the rabbit hole of "Belly Button Love", capped off with Jeb Bush's saddest moments.

We're live. We've probably started by now. I don't know. I pressed the button like 10 seconds ago. Welcome to Painkiller Already, episode 269. Yeah, this episode of PKA is being brought to you by Casper.com and two brand new sponsors, Headspace.com and Ring.com. We'll talk more about them further on in the show,

but first things first, we've got a new guest tonight, new to the show, but not really. I think Josh has been a fan for a while. He said he's he said uh he's watched a few episodes of pka before uh we talked about him maybe three or four episodes ago your channel is strain central right yeah you're the pot guys you're the pot yeah i never would have thought of looking at that i know dude you got such a clean picture wall street middle america kind of look i i talked about this a few weeks ago so my mother-in-law has cancer and like there was going to be this thing like you know like she has cancer she's

going to come and she's going to live with us and last time she beat cancer i mean it came back um like one of the issues she had is she lost weight because she wasn't eating well and nausea so i was like pot is the answer to this and my whole plan was just to go to the nc state campus and look for someone who looked like you that was that was the game plan like these stoner stereotypes someone who embodies it no one who looks like he does would trust someone who looks like you on a college campus see i'm glad you brought this up because this is a good question I want to ask you, Josh.

We talk about this a lot. Let's say that you were in a state that doesn't have legal recreational marijuana. Here's a better example. Let's say you move to North Carolina tomorrow. You got a tech job there and you want to score some weed. What is your first step? Where do you go? Who do you look for?

What do you... It is not what Woody just said. Like, I would say the only people that do that are, like, cops. Like, if you're going to a cop... Okay, okay, hear me out. Woody has seen that successfully put together. What if I have the mother-in-law, right, with an IV bag, and I explain...

You got the paperwork. She's in a wheelchair with the IV hanging into her whatever this vein is and I say look she's getting chemo right now see this machine they hear it whirring it's putting chemo in her

hook me up with some some of your finest strain you're going to be way better going on like Instagram or like any kind of social media, I would say, way before you go to the local college campus. You have to be tracked. It shows you tweeted out for weed

20 minutes ago and now you're here. So you're under arrest. It probably works a little different as a weed YouTuber though because if I travel somewhere, there's going to be someone like, hey, I have weed. Come smoke it with me. So I guess like local bus stops. You're just regular, you know, you're a regular guy. You've got no contacts, no connections,

no social media following. And just to throw a hitch into your game, you look like me, right? You're no longer 21, right? Like you just, you exude cop it's hard I'm gonna well honestly honest answer this question is probably bars like you could probably find someone having a quick conversation with someone at like a bar over a drink just look for something dropping now that's your day so now we're eavesdropping where we have paper trails so we can incriminate ourselves and yeah all right well so i thought you'd be better at this job i have been in three instances where the people with me wanted to score

and i've seen three different techniques go down with with different uh results so uh in las vegas i noticed that um a youtube friend of of all of ours, really, he was looking to get some, and he went on Instagram. And sure enough, man, and in my opinion, that seems like such a quick way to go to jail, right? You figure that the dude on Instagram who's like screaming 420 blaze it faggot and has like tons of photos is probably a cop, right? He's going to narc on you or something. You're going to go to pick it up, and he's going to slap the cuffs on you.

But no, he found this guy who had lots of images of marijuana on his Instagram and he just starts messaging him and said, hey, I want some of what you got, man. And the next thing I know, like he's walking around Vegas with a mason jar full of pot like he went and got like two ounces or something. The other instance, we were at paintball and it was the infamous Applebee's trip. instance, we were at Paintball, and it was the infamous Applebee's trip. And I believe the way that that marijuana was scored, and Woody was present, was a gentleman who looked very much like you. Red hair, big mustache, beard, everything, you know. Basically asked that guy, said, hey man, I don't want to offend you or anything, but you look like the kind

of fellow that would know where the weed is at. And swear to god he went hell yeah man was that the sketchy ref who we pointed at when we were talking about it and you were like i will bet you anything that that guy has a solution and he did yeah i i if i remember it was don't take this the wrong way but you look like a guy who knows where the weed's at. Even in legal states, I get that question asked at least once a week. Someone will come up and be like, so, do you smoke? And I'll just be like, cigarettes? Try to throw them off a little bit.

Come on. That's like the telltale yes answer to that question. Do you smoke? And you're like, cigarettes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. If that's the case, then no. Do you smoke? If they say smoke what?

No, they're smoking. Then there's a yes in there. The other incident, and Woody, you were present there too. We were in Vermont, and there was a group of individuals with us. I know. This is my favorite one. Some marijuana. And their technique was to send the hot chicks door to door asking for marijuana. That's what they-

What? They sent two hot chicks out and they went door to door. They were having a party. They went- I actually saw a slightly different way. The same trip, I'm sure. But what the gentleman did is there was a party full of like 60 people there. Right.

He gets on a chair. Oh, God. Yeah. At one point. He's just like, fuck, I'm going to die. I want weed. Who's got the weed? I think he actually asked for drugs.

He wasn't specific about weed. He was just like I need drugs Everyone looked at him, and they were like ha ha ha He's like no. I'm serious was that at our party or at the one across the street um It was it was at the lodge. We rented okay, okay? So so the incident I'm talking about apparently there was there was a party going on like across the street That was not as big as ours because we had all those fucking people show up. But they had like a normal people party. And they went over there, just knocked on the door, and just asked on the –

they didn't even come in. They just asked on the street. What a couple of piece of shit sluts there were walking around going door to door. I feel uncomfortable. Well, they wanted to buy it. Taylor, I don't like your attitude towards sluts. We appreciate these women, and they're performing a vital service.

It's not about that. It's about I feel uncomfortable going to get a cup of flour from my neighbor if I need it. I'm not going to walk over there and demand illicit substances. Wait, you call them piece of shit sluts, though? No. Have I ever told you?

See, there are two kinds of people in this world. There are those that cower and cringe at the distance at other people. And there are the fucking alphas like these girls are that make shit happen. I admire them. I don't know if I'm brave enough to go door to door. They're just hot beggars. No, no, not at all. That's that they were, they were asking to purchase weed. That's what they were going for.

They weren't saying, give us free pot. And I'll be honest, I wish that girl had gotten some because later in the night, I hung out with her most of the night and around four in the morning we had some sort of snowy photo shoot where she was wearing like a bikini

and some snow boots. I was in bed for this photo shoot. We get some of Epic Mealtime's fucking DSLRs out out we're out yeah baby very nice very nice and uh then we go upstairs to bedrooms and everybody was too fucked up to have sex uh and i'm not not now you're ruining my fantasy carry on dick except for me i was ready to go but like um and don like, and don't picture this as some sort of weird big orgy or anything, but there's like a hallway with lots of bedrooms in it.

And I came to find out what had happened to other members. One person was almost going to get laid, and the lady vomited like right in the middle of the first part of sex. So that was a no-go. So I'm in another bedroom with a lovely young lady. And we're sitting on the bed and everything. And she starts crushing up a pill on the nightstand with a fucking lighter. Yeah, second wind.

You're like, this is the way this is going. Okay. I was like, oh. Yeah, it was like on It's Always Sunny when the girl was like, I want to take a pill to Dennis. And he's like, all right, whatever. And she starts crushing it up. And she just snorts it. She snorts it.

And at this time in my life, I didn't even know that that was a thing. Okay? Like, I've seen it. Not that I'm experienced at regularly now, but I've seen things like Nurse Jackie and other media where it's done. I didn't know at the time that people crushed pills and snorted them. So she snorts this fucking pill. And she looks up at me with these little pill crumbs trickling out of her nose, like little

Vicodin boogers. And she goes, you want some? And I was just like, no! No, I don't want some, you maniac! Yeah, let's go puff some glue right after. What the fuck? That's prime time to be snorting pills right as the party's winding down. So, let me ask you this then, because it doesn't sound like you're very experienced in scoring weed in a non- legal environment.

I would hope not. Of course not. So, how long have you been smoking how old are you first of all because i can't tell i am i'm 20 okay and this is a question i feel like it's asked a lot because people think i'm like in my mid-20s so it like throws the scope off it's a beard it's the beard it's definitely weird yeah but i basically started smoking like right about 18 um like maybe two to three months before i turned 18 i kind of of like, I have gastroparesis, which is like my reason to have a medical card. It's a GI condition. So it's like a stomach

condition that allows me to essentially not digest food normally. But I was on just a whole array of pharmaceuticals that weren't working for me. And at 17, that was just kind of the age where I had some friends that were like smoking occasionally. So they were like, hey, hit this joint one night that I just wasn't feeling well. And I basically started right about as I got 18, got my card and kind of went about being in the legal system. Like one or two times I've actually scored weed illegally. But it's pretty much all just been like legally in legal states. Was it a black guy? Not going to state that. Oh, it was. It it a black guy? Not going to state that.

Oh, it was. It was a black guy. I like that you're not perpetuating any gender... I don't like that question. I actually do have an answer to scoring weed illegally. Kitchens. I've worked in food service almost the entire

job experience that I've had. And I think 95% of the people in the kitchen have been either – they say there's like the five Cs of line cooks. There's like college kids, people with cocaine problems, people with children, and then there's career people. And I can't think of the fifth one. But it's pretty true from what I've – we'll go with cannabis. So if they're working as like a busboy or a waiter they're probably toking up

before they get back in there it's like if you can shut up and do hard work you'll fit in pretty well so there's a lot of stoners that work in kitchens definitely alright so go to the kitchens go to the kitchen of like your local restaurant and just walk back in there

now any particular race of person I should look for, should I sniff them? Should I do that? Because, you know, I would be really afraid to approach like a square guy who's going to recoil like I asked him to suck my cock or something. You know? I feel like it's kind of a similar situation,

like being a closeted gay guy who's trying to hook up and being a closeted hot smoker who's trying to get hooked up. You're afraid that the other person isn't going to be on the same level as you. You don't want anybody to really hear what you're saying out loud. It's kind of a similar thing. You're going to look like a real asshole when you're walking

into the back of that Applebee's. Instead of taking the right into the bathroom, you just take a left and proudly walk into the kitchen. Que pasa, amigos? Start out like that and it'll be fine. You know, I didn't realize as a kid that all those restaurants like Applebee's, TGI Fridays, I don't know, name one. Chili's.

Chili's. Ruby Tuesday's. Ruby Tuesday's. They're all just prepackaged microwaved food. I didn't make that connection. It's clear just looking at it if you've got any fucking common sense. And obviously they're in the frozen food aisle with that same shit. But in my head

I just thought, yeah, they're back there mixing up those mozzarella sticks, right? There is a distinct difference in quality with those restaurants though. Chili's same frozen food, I guess, as TGI Friday's. But TGI Friday's is infinitely better. Chili's is horseshit garbage.

It wasn't always. TGI Friday's actually has the good microwaves. They don't have the Walmart microwaves. In my opinion, Chili's was top of the line until about 2008, and then they just sank. Obama. Yeah, thanks, Obama. No, I legit think it was the

economy like that i used to get the um guiltless chicken platter it was something i ate chilies like once every two weeks or something i ate they fight i think fairly commonly and uh and then they cut the portion like in half they're like oh yeah no longer even more guiltless yeah and and then the quality of the food changed and and now I avoid Chili's. It's garbage. I like if I'm going to go to – I like Outback Steakhouse. I don't know what – like on a scale of one to five, where is Outback? Like two and a half?

Well, give me a ten from you and a one from you. Well, on a scale of one to five, there are very few tens. Well, I doubt I've been to very many tens. Yeah, exactly. He did say that. five there are very few tens well i doubt i've been to very many ten yeah exactly i bet he did say that um i'm sure i've been to some five-star restaurants but i wouldn't remember the name of them the only like nice-ish restaurant that i like know of and know the name of like is morton's and i don't think that's a five-star restaurant i think that's probably like a four-star restaurant

you know it's a hundred dollars a steak and it's really good it's weird morton's to me it's a five-star restaurant but i feel like there's someone out there that's like exactly you peasant you think that's five stars i feel as well to me it's definitely if it's it's if i'm it's very unlikely that i'm going to go somewhere more expensive than morton's i like brazilian barbecue a lot also yeah that's that's kind of uh like experience kind of meal i don't i don't know how to rank that because the food is really good. Food is outstanding. There's also the gimmick of the whole thing. You know how you can tell when a place is super high tier?

It's when the waiters and waitresses aren't just young kids, even in their 20s. They're guys in their 50s. That's been their career. They've been serving mob bosses and whatnot since 1961. There's one steakhouse here that we go and it's like that's been their career. They've been serving mob bosses and whatnot since 1961. There's one steakhouse here that we go to that's like that, and it feels like... Yeah, Chris's is the name of the one here. Now, is it Ruth Chris's, or

is it just a... There's a Ruth's Chris here, but this is Chris's. It's better than Ruth's Chris. But, I don't know. I put... Was it Longhorn you were talking about? I was talking about Outback, but Longhorn and Outback are pretty much the same thing. I don't know. I put them on par with a Red Robin.

I think of Red Robin as way down there. I think of Red Robin as somewhere with the Ruby Tuesdays and Chili's of the world. Yeah, yeah. I think of Five Guys above Red Robin. Oh, that's foolhardy. I disagree there. I'm just saying. Five Guys just bamboozles you into being impressed by the amount of

food, and they make you think you're getting a freebie because there's a whole bottom section of bag covered in greasy, really overly peanut-flavored fries that aren't good. They're not good. Wrong! Wrong! Do you get the Cajun fries? Do you get the Cajun fries? I haven't ever had

the Cajun fries. Get the fucking Cajun fries. They're delicious. Now look, here's the thing about them. Not only is it a lot of food. They put a shitload in there. The meal I get is 2,300 calories roughly. But it's high quality food. It really is. The fact that they bring those potatoes in from a different place.

And they're hand cut potatoes right there in the place. Not frozen French fries. The meat isn't frozen. They're bringing it in every day. They're serving it to you fresh. You know LeBron James owns a big controlling interest in that, I think. Like 15%, 20%. That changes my opinion.

Right? Those are LeBron burgers. He's a goddamn champion. All right? I've only been to Five Guys once or twice. And it's been a while. I feel like I can't weigh in. But on these other things, yeah.

And there's two. There's Longhorns and then another one. LoneStar. And I forget which one's the good one. Is that the one with the peanuts on the floor? Lone Star is the one with the peanuts on the floor. Lone Star is, or the one with the peanuts is Texas Roadhouse. That too.

I think there's two, there's like two chains. The two I mentioned don't have peanuts on the floor in my area anyway. Okay. I'm not a fan of peanut on the floor establishments. I don't think they're sanitary. Peter is kidding. She calls it the floor is lava. Oh, God. I don't think Peter is kidding. She calls it the floor is lava. Oh god, I just realized that.

I took her to a place like that. We opened the door and just looked in and I went, this ain't gonna work. I fucking left. Yeah, I she, they would kill her. Kitty is so allergic to peanuts that if some, if like you ate some peanuts

and then you dusted your hands like this and a bit of that dust flew through the air and sprinkled onto her where it landed it would burn her likes like something that were caustic like or an acid or something it's really nasty it's I've seen the fingertips get melted off before I know people like that yeah so when I car pulled really bad burn blisters Reese's cups in the backseat or anything like that and we were driving home without their mom freaking out. Taylor, you're going to kill Andrew. You're going to kill Andrew.

I'm like, he's fine. I'm not going to shake my hands and just start rubbing them all over his eyes in the front seat. I'm just trying to eat my candy. We're going to give him a peanut butter wet willy and end his life right now on the way to school. Come on. That was a moment of not really understanding the severity of it. Getting

lectured as an eight-year-old by that mom like when I drive you home. You cannot be eating your peanut candy I'm like okay, whatever I think that like I get that lecture at least once a month, so I that's not a that's not a new thing to me Uh you got to keep the peanuts away from Kitty. She will not deal. That's why I want to get the five guys It's a big deal because they use that peanut oil. I got to bring that shit in like it's plutonium i gotta dispose of it properly i dig a hole out back and bury it it's a whole program i gotta go through so josh you have a pot-based marijuana channel can you make any money off that so i'm gonna say like 90 of the channel is like non-advertiser friendly because bounty paper towels doesn't want to

advertise over some kid smoking pot on the internet um so most of it's like the weird thing about the cannabis industry as a whole is like organic advertising is all we can actually do you can't have someone advertise their weed on nbc over like you know basic commercials because that's federally illegal. So organic advertising meaning YouTube, social media, anything like that, any word of mouth is going to be up here. So it's basically just like weed advertisers and or people in like the product, weed product community like vaporizer people or people that make like basic cannabis accessories

are the people who will like actually come to us for advertising. So that's where like most of the channel revenue comes from. I mean this is my full time job but I definitely have to supplement with things like Twitch and other forms of like just advertising. You know what I would like to see you do because I saw – I don't remember who it was they did this and I really liked it. Get a non-smoker on there and get them to smoke for the first time. That would be interesting.

So it's weird. Like when it comes to my channel, there's a lot of weed tubers. I'm going to use that term throughout the thing, weed tube. There's a lot of weed tubers that like don't make educational content. They focus on entertaining and hey, I can take the biggest rip and do all of this. Or it's just basic smoke sessions. Maybe they're just recording a 10-minute smoke session and someone wants to sit along and smoke with them throughout the day. Whereas my channel is a little bit more focused on at least educating the basic cannabis audience as well as

kind of the general public to like what cannabis smokers are. A lot of people think that weed smokers are just like your normal like sit on the couch all day, I'm going to get lazy and do nothing. Opposed to just like everyone knows a stoner. Everyone knows someone who smokes weed. But a lot of the really good stoners, a lot of people who actually like smoke weed daily aren't going to be super vocal about it. So I kind of decided instead of just kind of sitting back and being one of those stoners, that's not vocal about it.

I really wanted to actually get some information and like real knowledge out there. And, uh, I think something like that really would help like maybe just like a first time session thing. But at the same time, I don't want someone like coming on the channel smoking for the first time

getting too ridiculously high. And then it's setting like a really bad precedence for the no you don't want that so in the video in the video I saw it was old women there were these three old oh yeah I have seen that and there's one and you know they just took up yeah they just took like a hit off a bong or something and and and so they were all just kind of like oh I like this yeah Yeah, and there wasn't like, where am I? Where's Pete? Where's Pete?

Did he come back from Korea yet? They didn't have a meltdown. They didn't suddenly think, oh, the Alzheimer's, it's finally here. They can't remember how did I get here. You mentioned pot smokers don't just sit on the couch and do nothing, but some do, right? I feel like there's a certain denial

that there's any correlation between them. Not everyone who drinks alcohol is going to be an alcoholic who's non-functioning and crashes their car and hurts people. But I felt like what he was saying was that those are the more vocal guys. Like, the only people who are out there

talking about weed are the real stoners. That 15-year-old kid that, you know, is a fuck-up, that their friends, you know, friends, friends, like son who isn't doing anything with his life or whatever. But when it comes to overall usage, like you're just going to have people. I know people like that don't smoke, never touched any kind of alcohol or cannabis in their life that have no drive as a human, as a person. Their day is spent maybe spending their eight hours at work or whatever, but it's like they don't do anything other than just doing the very basic, very bare minimum. So sure, in some senses, like, you smoke a heavy indica,

I think we need to get away from the term lazy. Because a heavy indica's gonna make you really tired, and it's gonna make you want to do nothing but sleep. And that, in turn, will probably make you lay on said couch and lock into the couch. But laziness, I think, is more of something that's going to be a person-by-person attribute. It's going to be a trait of every individual. I think drives the same way. So, I mean, sure, over-consumption, over-excessive use of any substance could definitely cause someone to be lazy and cause someone to do nothing. But it's responsible cannabis usage and it's like not using it and letting that be what you become essentially. I saw a t-shirt the other day and I forget what it said exactly.

It was just graphic. But it was like food, cannabis, and something else. It was like the life's necessities. And as an outsider, I can't get past the idea that there does seem to be some sort of correlation and causation here. Oh, yeah. And I feel like the guys on the inside are too quick to deny any kind of causation. Like there are people who pitch pot as a health food, as the cure to all diseases. Like, oh, do you have a digestive issue? Do you have cancer? Do you have glaucoma? I might have glaucoma. This

is my preventative glaucoma medication. you know, anxiety. And, and, and there are, I'm, I'm, I'm not in denial that it can help with some of these things that for some people, it might even be the perfect drug, but, um, when it gets pitched as being practically good for you with no downsides, the miracle, oh, perfect. I sometimes think like, come on, man, like, can you be straight with me? Right. You know, that there is some causation that a lot of people will get into pot and then get into tiredness, as we call it. Exactly. That it becomes like a lack of ambition, lack of ambition. It might be that like the cure for anxiety is so effective that it was that anxiety that was fucking driving

you to get the shit done in the first place you know i have tons of anxiety that's how the fucking mortgage gets paid a joke you know how high my blood pressure is yeah yeah i don't have a mortgage but but like the that's that's the idea in general right like yeah that that concern about like setting enough aside for Colin's life, right? That's a thing that worries me and drives me. And if I were to smoke pot all the time, who knows? But maybe it would stop worrying me. There are absolutely people that I saw at least going through college that fell into exactly what Woody said.

Where, you know, maybe they were doomed to it from the start, but they fell into a cycle of just no longer going to class, obliterating all anxiety by just smoking a ludicrous amount of pot. And it was like, at some point, there's nothing worse than listening to someone talk to you about how much pot they smoked. It's horrible. It's pathetic because it's like, why do you care? Why do you think I care?

How many times have you told your buddies, three Miller Lights, two shots of Patron, two, no, no, three shots of Patron. I'm already bored. No, it's the same. See, it's the same thing. It's exactly and boring. But if somebody asks you that, then you might go through a list of it. But if somebody just comes up to you at a party

and is like, dude, this is fucking crazy. I've had six of these and two whiz and madoo's and I'm just now hitting my stride, man. That's still... It's bad. Nobody wants to be around that person. And it does happen. It almost turns people who are on the fence off to pot

more when they come into the scene and do a little bit of research. And everyone they see is some like, you know, strung out hippie looking motherfucker. It's just like, you know, it's all great. It's all great.

You know, there's no downsides at all, man. Now just why I'm just going to smoke all day. Like it, I know that turns people off more than anything. Cause that's their first impression, you know?

So I think it's good what you're doing. Cause I took a peek at your channel and you're actually doing informative videos and not just i really like when you did the uh the one gram dab i really like i like watching those unboxing videos a lot um because i like seeing what's in there i'm like i'm curious like what's gonna be in there um i'm trying to think what else that i liked them there was one where I think you smoked a gram of weed and like like really fast you had multiple pieces that's mostly like

that's what I would consider to fall into like the entertainment aspect of my channel and I guess it's technically a little bit of like pandering to the cannabis audience because I understand that not everyone wants educational videos and to get that educational content out there the cannabis audience because I understand that not everyone wants educational videos. And to get that educational content out there, I need to draw an audience and get an audience

onto the channel. So I'm slowly kind of turning away from the excessive use, like, overconsumption videos like that, but at the same time, I know it's what's drawn the audience that I can't educate today. But going back to what you guys were just saying, as an activist myself, like, that's one of the first things I will admit. Like, people ask, do you smoke weed every day? I'm like, sometimes, but I'm not someone who's going to be spending all day every day smoking. For the simple fact that I've understood, sure, I can function high all the time, I can remain myself, but there's some things that I just don't want to do high. If it's public speaking or if it's like I have to go to work or something and not forget something throughout the day, then me personally, I understand that I should either not smoke that much or getting anything done, it's realizing that they're the ones that have to control their usage.

That's what it starts with. Because sure, smoking three, four, five grams of weed every day or dabbing an entire gram of oil, if you're literally doing nothing but sitting all day and packing that pipe over and over again and then just like chilling and watching Netflix or whatever, you're not getting anything done. So if you can like pack that pipe and actually go about your normal life then good that's you as a human but like not everyone can do that and even as a cannabis activist i know myself can't do that so it's all it's it's it all comes back to is not blaming the substance itself

but more blaming the individual but at the time, I understand exactly what you're saying, because I've seen plenty of people fall prey to the same traps of starting to smoke, beat even small amounts, and then not being able to exhibit that self-control, or not even being aware that they need to exhibit that self-control, because weed's this wonderful thing that's going to cure everything for you. Because it's not, and it's not going to be helpful for every individual uh how high would you say how high would you say your tolerance is i it depends it'll it'll drop it'll go crazy after like the one gram i can say that it was high as absolute hell recently it's it's right about in the middle so it kind of fluctuates but

that's because i try to take tolerance breaks just to do exactly what i was saying like control so to put that in terms that like a real uh amateur would understand so are you smoking entire joint by yourself are you smoking multiple bowls by yourself like if you're kicking your smoke session off you're gonna smoke and then chill and watch tv you're gonna smoke and then have a have a nice meal how much are you smoking prior to that to get to where you want to be? So I guess we'll put it in the terms of joints, even though I don't smoke a lot of joints. I would say probably about two joints a day would be a good fill.

I wake up in the morning, especially if I'm having a really bad GI day, and I'll normally take a dab, which is the equivalent of an entire joint, I guess. And then right before I go to bed at night, I've always been the kind of person that entire joint i guess um and then right before i go to bed at night i've always been the kind of person that's not really been able to sleep so i also have to smoke prior to going to bed i feel like that's a waste of money i've heard that a lot um also because cannabis actually does mess with your REM sleep so technically if you smoke before you sleep you're getting worse sleep like that's not something that I'm going to deny. But that being said, going back to what Woody said, there's also some people that like, it is going to be something that's a miracle drug for them and it helps them every single day.

But they'll reach a point where they have to have cannabis to feel normal. They have to have cannabis to reach that point of normalcy. Sure, you can say that they are chronic pain users that will exhibit some sort of not normalcy on a normal level. But there's some people that if they don't smoke before they eat, or they don't smoke before they sleep, or they don't smoke before X, they're not going to feel normal. So that's when it becomes a problem, in my opinion. Some people get cranky. Have you had people who don't get their coffee in the morning before if they're addicted to coffee? It's just like that. It's very unpleasant

when you're around someone the next morning after you're hanging out and they're just a little nippy. I'll tell you what, you don't want to take Chiz's coffee away from him for very long. I need to see that first hand. He drinks like 10 cups a day, right? He drinks a lot of coffee. We had that instant Folgers

Crystals out in the forest. He was drinking that. He was not a fan, though. He was not a fan. It's pretty disgusting. The first thing I moved into my new place was a Keurig. He was snorting it. He was not actually snorting it. It was Folgers Crystals.

I don't know how you could drink 10 cups of coffee a day and still be fine I had 3 cups 3 or 4 in a day before and I'm just I'm actually sweating I feel moist like my hands I can't stop moving you just kind of hydrate with it like you know I don't know if you've worked at a computer

for a long time but yeah that's you just drink and code or type or whatever and um just in the same way that you might drink water or lemonade or whatever's your it makes me have to like stand up and pace around i drink a lot when we're doing this show like i filled this thing like all the way up this is a really big mug this was um i put the keurig on the largest setting and hit it twice so i guess that's at least two cups um like 16 or 20 ounces and i'm gonna get another one before the show's over and you know it gets me i sometimes the largest setting and hit it twice. I guess that's at least two cups. 16 or 20 ounces.

I'm going to get another one before the show's over. I sometimes have a cup before a show. It gives you a little pep. I usually have a monster, but even the monster or two I usually have on these shows to stay peppy. I'll still, right after the show, get up and just pace around a 20-foot area like a serial killer

plotting my next move for no reason. Sponsored or not, I actually like um g fuel the gamma lab stuff for this it's he's not kidding when i went to woody's house like we had g fuel yeah i had i'll have i don't know what i'm trying to put it in terms of coffee it might be like two cups of coffee for me. Is there caffeine in that? A lot. Yes. And then more. Yeah, yeah. You know what?

It tastes good, maybe sometimes a little powdery, depending if you don't make it well. But I guess it's like candy caffeine. Yeah! You get like a powerful sugar rush and a powerful caffeine rush all in one punch that you can make as much or as little as you want. Coupon code Woody.

I guess I'll throw that out there since we're talking about it. Well, while we're here. Watch your energy gel. That's totally my mindset. I was like, they're not sponsoring this show, but while we're here. Don't they have those energy gel packets or is that someone else? What they have is it's the same stuff, but it's in a packet, so it's a dosage.

They call it a stick pack. And rather than like scoop it, you just empty the pack into like a water bottle and it's the right amount for a water bottle. Could you just do it? Could you just eat it straight out of the packet?

Like a pixie stick? Yeah, I'm sure you could. Is it a gel or a powder? It's powder. It's a powder, yeah. Okay, okay. More like a pixie stick. Ah, you'd want to put that

between your lips like a little snuffuff just be spitting all they're just taking it straight to the straight to the bloodstream kyle is a non-stop fountain of video ideas i i say that because in high school i had uh there was this asshole in my weightlifting class and uh you know creatine was a new thing to us as like 10th graders because that was 2002 or 2001. That's when I first heard of it too. Was it right around the home run race or was that after that? Mark McGuire, he liked his creatine.

Yeah. So, you know, so everybody did. And creatine, if you're, you know, I'm certainly not a weightlifting expert or anything like that, but it's a supplement that works. And I just remember Ricky, you know, we were all taking creatine, and we were surprised by the gains that you would get. Even as like a kid working out in high school,

it would be like, ah, I can lift eight more pounds on my bench, and it's only been 10 days. That's remarkable. So I just remember Ricky would just get a scoop out, put it in there, and he would have it in there. In class, and I'd be like, and I would be he would have it in there and he in class and i'd be like and i would see tears like welling up in his eyes and i'd be like ricky you're right he's like yeah it's creatine savage it's not how creatine works it's not how creatine works but i would never say

anything different and then years later i saw it on the office like dwight is trying to show up game and he does protein powder he's like you uh he's like you dilute it with water woman and he like throws the powder in his mouth and he spits it everywhere dude I keep pimping do you know G-Full used to have creatine in it oh yeah so not a good that's not a good thing yeah it's actually sent me to the hospital to have my kidneys flushed because I wasn't drinking enough water with it. So they have a pre-workout formula, not the stuff that's marketed to gamers,

but they have a pre-workout formula that it did. I'm not sure if it still does, but it had some element of creatine in it. And then as they developed all their gamer-friendly recipes, they took the creatine out because apparently... And then as they developed all their gamer-friendly recipes, they took the creatine out because apparently – It's a terrible idea to be gaming and doing creatine. Yeah, it's not a fit. Yeah, with a bunch of Mountain Dew.

City's still not doing anything. Yeah, and I guess – I don't know. I forget what the specific was, but yeah. It dehydrates you and it causes kidney issues because there's been like high school football players die of dehydration on the field because the coach is doing some drill where he doesn't give them water and these kids are taking creatine the coach doesn't know it or doesn't know the ramifications and by denying them water is some kind of an asshole drill he killed the kid that is a terrible there's no you're you never saw it during the game. That was that was my next question

I know I will say I was about to ask you what he did you ever had a swimming coach? So you couldn't drink but but if he got real thirsty you just you're in a fucking pool No workaround Those kids haven't had a drop to drink in eight hours. Look at him go. They would deny us air a lot There were a lot of drills where we weren't allowed to breathe Yeah, they'd either regulate how many breaths per laps you could take They would deny us air a lot. There were a lot of drills where we weren't allowed to breathe. Another essential. Yeah. They either regulate how many breaths per laps you could take.

And for the top guys, it was one. It was one breath per lap and then a breath on the turns. Or they just do like underwater stuff or whatever. And I guess the idea was to at the end of the the race when you're done and your body says stop when you breathe it slows you down it's like the hydrodynamics of it you turn your head sideways and then it you don't fly through the water in quite the same way so everyone's lost it let's um but anyway yeah yeah it uh it slows you down to breathe. So it's that drill to sort of push through, give everything you have for that last whatever 12 yards without a breath.

And I don't even know if they still train like that anymore. But back in the day, they'd ask you to do it without breathing. Does it train your cardiovascular system to operate with less oxygen? All right, so they do those um altitude masks athletes will use sometimes is it a similar thing that it's training your your cardiovascular system to operate with less do more with less that sort of thing i feel like the science of it has probably been grown since the 90s when i was really into it but um there there was a lot of thought around having a higher red blood cell count that was that's like what the um bikers do right they do the blood doping and so then their red blood cells

they can carry a ton more oxygen right but this was more of an honest way to go about it like the if you train um naturally like yeah yeah like a marathoner for example would have a much higher red blood cell count than a than a person who likes the couch. So that's what they would do. They would just train us all the time. Or a person who does like a power lift that's a real quick boom kind of thing. Right. Yeah, dude, I used to – like people would donate blood and stuff.

And I'm like, dude, you have no idea how hard I worked for this excellent blood. I've got core C through me right now. This is good shit right here. This is the best blood in the neighborhood. I'm the fastest guy on my team. You think I'm just giving this away? In retrospect, I bet someone would have paid you for your blood plasma. You probably had some good stuff in there, probably a lot of red blood cells.

I'm sure I did. It's not too late. No drinking, no coffee, just exercise and healthy foods is all I had cooking. It was the best version of me, and I hoarded it. I didn't just give it away to Red Cross. You bastard. You hoarded it.

You're a blood hoarder. I don't like giving blood. I'm glad I read about that guy who had some sort of special blood that saved that couple thousand babies or something. I don't remember the particulars, but something about his blood was wonderful and it saved lives. And he gave like thousands of pints throughout

his life, and I was thinking, like, if that were me... Those would be 20 bucks a pop. Sorry! At least, like, because I really dislike giving blood. I've done it a few times, and I always get nauseous. I've never vomited right there. I've never passed out right there, but I've gotten lightheaded, and I've gotten that, few times and I always get nauseous I've never vomited right there I've never passed out right there

but I've gotten light headed and I've gotten that like great vision you get when you stand up too quickly or right before you have a panic attack which I have occasionally and it's fucking awful

I hate it nauseous and cold clammy yeah I had a little of that when I gave blood I haven't given blood in a while now they miss the vein

I'm twice the man I used to be. So I bet I could give a pint. It wouldn't be a big deal. It wasn't the pain. It wasn't the blood flow and seeing my blood. It was that she kept missing the vein. And I was looking and I could see the vein bouncing off the needle.

In my head I was going, she's got three. She's got three tries at this. And it took her four. As an 18-year-old man, I had to be 18, I guess, to give the blood in high school. But I just didn't have an enemy to go, fuck you, stop. That's it.

Three pokes, that's enough. That's a serious problem. Those nurses that they have there taking blood, I didn't know this until someone told me. And so it could be speculation. It's that they're not real nurses. It's just some lady that works there. That bitch should be sticking an orange somewhere, not me. And so it could be speculation is that they're not real nurses. It's just some lady that works there. That bitch should be sticking an orange somewhere.

Not me. Like, uh, I've been hit like twice on my right arm, once on my left arm. And then she was like, no, that's this one's not going to work at all.

It's like, okay, well I'm glad you pricked it once just to be sure. And then went back over to the right arm and got it eventually until I looked like I was, you know, a star cast member of train spotting, just a horrible little dots all over your arm.

You look like a heroin addict. I don't have this problem. I usually get a compliment. It goes like this. They put the little heroin addict rubber strap on my thing. They make me make a fist. And then without fail, they compliment my vein. And then they hit it first time.

Oh, and you believe them. They're telling that to every joke i was it's how it goes i was talking to a girl once and she she was a nurse and um i felt like i could tell this joke to her without her slapping me or anything but she was going on about like taking blood and stuff and i was like yeah yeah i have o negative blood and it's true i do i've got o negative so i give a lot i give a lot i give uh like every thursday she's like oh wow that's really great i was i was like yeah they can't use the veins in my arms anymore though they're just not big enough so they use the vein in my penis and she was like really doesn't that hurt i just had her go over this thing i was like well you know it did at

first but i kind of started liking it actual nurse like yeah yeah i was like professional i kind of started liking it after a while, to tell you the truth. I'm really enjoying giving this blood. I had to really go in there for like five minutes. It was a lot of fun. I had my knee surgery. They went on my arm, so I don't do needles well at all. I've never been good at giving blood or doing anything like that.

at all like they just i've never been good at giving blood or doing like stuff like that but i i had this arm done several times and then they went for my left arm and once they tried my left arm like two or three times they were like all right we're gonna go for your neck so they almost had the iv in my neck but then they finally got it on like the top of my my wrist that being said i would not have gone well well with a needle to the neck. Can't stand it. What about under your finger? You know those heroin addicts, after a while they're looking for places to stick it, like under nails so it won't show track marks, or between their toes

and stuff. Between their toes, their dick vein. Those are like the last highways in a heroin addict's life. Oh, I start out in the dick vein. Start right backwards. So it's almost like you're getting better. I think it would be funny to go and give blood and start out talking like that. Be like, I'd like to use the vein in my penis. It's huge. And she'd be like, no, no, we don't do that.

Trust me, it's huge. You're not going to start unzipping. You're not going to have a problem finding this one. I promise you. Just have it. No, no, no, no. And depending on your behavior during the drawing, this could take between three and 40 minutes. You don't need gloves. You don't need gloves. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Trust me, it gets really veiny if you could just help me a little. Here, tie one of those rubber gloves around him.

That's not what I'm talking. Put your lipstick on. I was talking to Chiz today and he said his back was hurting him and we were talking about chiropractor slash massage therapist and that was my recommendation that he go see someone like that because he said it was a sciatic nerve and I'm

certainly no shit about anything but I figured maybe there's something putting pressure on that that could be adjusted, take the pressure off, make him feel better. Is anybody here? I know Woody, I don't think you have but have either you guys been to like a massage therapist chiropractor type person before i've had a i've had a massage but it was never for like medical reasons just because how long of a massage like was this like a 15 minute or like an hour hour yeah yeah you got a massage yeah i don't want a stranger isn't it glorious i i remember the first time ever i felt

really anxious about it right and yeah um i was like jackie i won't really be comfortable unless my masseuse is a woman like that's weird to me and i won't really be comfortable unless your masseuse is also a woman because because i had the exact same talk with my girlfriend and she was down she was like all right she accepted my terms yeah i did as well she agreed she was like i think it'd be weird if you got a massage from a man i'm like i do too i'm like i'm glad you feel that way and my masseuse was a very attractive um lady yes i've only had strongest hands her hands were and the whole time i was thinking like if she grabbed my cock it would just explode like a fucking balloon I wasn't. What if you both go there for your daily spa trip? They have a shortage.

Horrible accident on the way into work. One of them dies. They only have one guy, one girl, and you're both going to be in separate rooms, and you get the pick. Who do you pick to massage you? We come back another day. No, you have the expiring coupons, Kyle. One time only. Just weekend.

All right. Let's follow the scenario if there is a guy and a girl which one of you has to compromise on this thing um um i would prefer that i guess i would take the guy because like it is a little weird like i don't want to massaging my ass or anything but i've never had that anyway like as far as she went down was like my lower lower back i guess you saw my ass crack a little but that was it um so i figured like maybe the guy will be better anyway with much stronger hands like i i would take the guy what if you found yourself really enjoying it oh you mean you mean what if it moved well yeah i think it moved jerry like a stanza quandary yeah i just remember that male masseuse like

grabbing his jeans and like like jerking them down like a little and george is like oh like a prairie dog yeah like the guy's about to fuck him he's yeah i would take the man um i figured the stronger hands are gonna be better anyway because that's what i was always impressed with with all the massages i've gotten was how strong these people's hands are just like they are. I was in a strip club one time and they had a legit masseuse in there. She was not going to get naked or anything like that. She was dressed in a business suit, like a blazer type thing. But she was giving massages for like, I don't remember how much it cost, $10 for 10 minutes, something like that, while you watched the stripper strip. And I was like, yeah,

absolutely. And it was funny, she was Russian, and she's like, one, two, ten, how hard? And I'm like, eight or nine, I don't know, give me all you got. And she goes, RAAA! I'm just like, four! A four! I need a four!

Did you, like, play it off for a couple seconds so that she wouldn't think that you were too much of a pussy? Like, sit there like this for like a minute just to be like, you know what, let's ratchet that back. It was clear immediately that this bitch had hands like Andre the Giant or something back there. This Russian milkmaid had been using those things since – she'd been squeezing those spring things since she was a baby. She could have broken me. Same problem. Same problem here except that rather than be like ah

stop it four four four um i just took the pain i had a haircut i had a fuck yeah like the haircut i just had a fucking awful massage experience and uh it was because i didn't want to tell her like this is too much woody had a bad barber shear him one time he's just ripping the hair out with these dull clippers and he's taking it because he thinks that that's part of it like taking it and finally he's like the guy's like what's wrong why'd you flinch like it really hurts why don't you say something yeah and i was like i am saying something like a bitch no i thought you'd see the blood it's not how it went down he was like you know well you should have said something i'm like i am saying something and that i'm like the fuck you're giving me shit for not saying anything while not saying while saying something

this reminded me of a haircut did you guys ever get your hair cut by your mom when you were going up yeah so i had to do that a couple times and usually it was just a bloodbath i looked like an a real ass like you have to get a really bad haircut for someone in third grade up here to say, something's wrong with your hair, but that's achievable when you cut it this high. That's not a natural end for hair on the back of a child's head. You're like a goddamn alien.

You're wearing a baseball cap of hair without the bill. That's the amount of headspace it's covering. One time my mom actually nailed it. Yeah, one time my mom got me pretty good with a decent haircut and I went to school. The guy across the street

drove me to school because he was much older and he's like, oh, you're looking pretty sharp there. And I was like eight. So I'm like, thanks. Thanks, man. And went to school, came back, and I told my mom. My mom was like, oh, they thought your hair looked nice, didn't they? And they were our neighbors. And so my mom invited the three of them who were all like they're probably all like in their late 30s now they're much older than me and they they came over and to get haircuts for my mom

because my mom was like i'm really figuring it out with taylor like i'll give it to you for free and she gave the first guy haircut really not great i'm standing there in the garage watching because i'm eight and have nothing to do the second guy it's just it's a slight bit better you know so maybe the third guy got a little bit of confidence and then him my mom just like started to feel like she was the the queen of a salon just like boom boom boom boom yeah like going so quick and she caught that ridge on the back of where your ear is with some clippers on the third guy and i swear to god i didn't know this area could bleed so much like she like raked it with the clippers without a guard on it and just punctured the back of the ear and this this i

guess at the time like 16 year old kid just had blood pouring down the back of his neck in the middle of our garage and uh she didn't cut my hair anymore after that so it was a net win good thing you might be one-eared taylor yeah that'd be even more comfortable make my head look smaller so that's awful yeah my mom cut my hair once uh i remember it very well i was six and i remember her suggesting it and she asked me for my opinion as a six-year-old and a six-year-old he was like yeah mom you got this shit and so yeah you got it come on yeah sure so she fucks it right ruins it real bad like like just up the line is up here for some reason like like where did my sideburns go not that i said a six-year-old has sideburns but like there's hair there there's supposed to be some

and so she's like i know what to do now that i fucked your head up kyle i'm gonna take you to your grandmother because she's got the answer to this. And I remember going to my grandma and her really fucking it up. And then me showing up at school with a shaved head for a while. That's how it went. That's just how it went. I had to explain to everyone, no, Kyle doesn't have cancer. He's just got a terrible mother.

That's all. Yeah. You can't pull that off when you're an adult. You can't just fuck up a haircut and go, well, I guess I don't have hair for the next nine months. You got to try and fix it. P.K.A. Dan would do that. He'd save people to see. P.K.A. Dan would shave his own hair.

He would cut his own hair, right? And he says it always would start off with the intention of like a shorter version of what Kyle's working right now, like a high and tight still comb to the side. And then it wouldn't work like you just mistakes would be made so he just takes it down to the nub and grows it back and that was pretty balls he did it all the time the worst i've had as an adult was like maybe five years ago uh i went to the this the haircut store whatever hell, and you know this area where the sideburn goes into the beard? Mm-hmm. Like, usually when they ask you, like,

all right, you just want me to blend the sideburn in there, like, cut it off because it gets too bushy and long, it's like, yeah, that's fine. This lady just for no reason took the clippers after fixing it all and just, like, ended my sideburn. Just, like, vip, vip, right there. So, like, there was a split. And so then i had sideburns and then not contiguously my beard it was like i can't not shave my face now you made me look like a clown like an idiot

with two gaps here do i just wait for this to come in where just like thin hair comes in at first and then slowly it feeds back out like no no you've ruined my look for like three months when was that like uh my either freshman or sophomore year of college yeah i think with it and try to shave like a bunch of lines into it like yeah a little vanilla ice thing do you guys ever think about shaving the beard? I will eventually. I mean, I go and I cut it with scissors every couple weeks to kind of like shape it down. Because otherwise it just grows like that and I get a real pear shape going on here. This is like my first technical real beard. So the first two years of growing it, I didn't have any clue what looked good or what was normal.

So until probably two weeks ago or so, I just had ridiculous horns that were going everywhere. It was poofy. It used to be poofy, you say? It used to be even crazier than it is now, I should say. But when I first started this channel i didn't have i was fully baby faced so i've pretty much grown the beard like continuously along with the channel so for that simple fact i don't think i'll shave it but i don't know at some point possibly when you hit a million subs you'll be an orthodox jew for halloween i did a uh amish like episode where i just dressed like i was amish because i had like

the beard and the glasses and my hair was a little bit longer but when it comes to haircuts i would say the worst one i've ever had when i was probably middle school my mom did like the super stereotypical bowl head cut all around so it was like the actual bowl cut with a bowl and for probably like two years time i just looked like i had a coconut head like it didn't it didn't work well it wasn't me that was well past when uh the bowl cut was exactly it was it was not like 1992 so it did not fit in i was on to like the the justin timberlake hair at that point everyone had like bleach blondes like oh i had some frosted tips yeah the chips i mean everybody loved backstreet boys right it wasn't me but here hold on in about eighth grade we had i had a classmate who had his

hair shaved like this i I need to move this. Oh my god. He shaved his bang. His hairline. He shaved his hairline to do that V thing for Halloween. Commitment. Yeah, and apparently the costume was incredible, but then

he had to grow that out for the next couple of months. That was amazing. Yeah, that's a lot of commitment for a couple people to be impressed briefly. I hope they took pictures because that's a serious commitment. I broke one of my teeth the other day.

One of my bottom back molars, all the way in the back, it broke. The whole top of it broke. It's a good one to break. I thought so too. But there's this jagged piece of tooth that will rub against my tongue. And after a while it made it hard to speak

because it kept cutting my tongue every time I would talk. And when I would swallow a beverage, that motion that your tongue does when you do that would rub against and it would cut it a little each time. And I was like, finally I couldn't take it anymore so i go to the um you think i'm gonna say dentist but i went to the drugstore and i got an emery board right and i get back there and just and i'm just sanding this fucking tooth down why not the hardware store in a dremel i considered that but what if i get wild in there you know it could get things could get out of hand

so so there i am in rite Aid parking lot with my Emory board. Those of you who don't know, that's what you file your fingernails with if you're a lady. And I'm just sanding this shit down. And I'm looking in my mirror, the flip-down vanity mirror. And I'll sand for about 20 seconds. And then look around to make sure that nobody sees what I'm doing. And then I'll sand some more. And I can see it wearing down that sharp edge,

and I can see bits of tooth powder on the emery board, and I got a whole pack of emery boards. So I'm just changing emery boards, going to different grits until I've shaped it up, smoothed it all out, rounded it down, and then I got the fine one,

polished it up. Good to go now. At home dentistry. Why wouldn't you just go to a dentist? You're a fairly well-off guy. What's the point of doing that? Yeah, I I don't like going to the dentist. I do need to go And I plan to go I don't have any like emergency stuff going on. I don't have any pain you actually Well, I did but I had hardware supplies in your mouth.

Cosmetic supplies, but yeah, I see your point. I felt like... The only problem with it, it's not painful. It's not cosmetically bad because it's all the way back there. I've really got to say ah before you know this thing's broken. I just had the thing cutting my tongue a little

and I felt like, why spend a grand to get a root canal and a cap or something? It'd be like $1,400 or something. Why not just sand this motherfucker down? I like that you did it in a parking lot, too. I needed some relief. If you were outside, they would be like, what the fuck is that guy doing? I wouldn't expect a root canal.

He's basically brushing his teeth. What did he just eat? I think what they're going to do is they're going to put some sort of cap on, and you'll have as close to what you had before. It's something weird about teeth. If something changes by even like a half a millimeter, you are acutely aware of that. Like it just like, like, hmm. Like you just, you know exactly what the inside of your teeth are like with that tongue.

And if something changes at all, you're on top of it. Yeah, definitely. So I've had a root canal before, and everybody says it's a nightmare, but it's just quite unpleasant. It's not very unpleasant. It's just quite unpleasant. That's how I'd describe it. I would get another one if I needed one,

but I wouldn't look forward to it at all. But it certainly wasn't like a screaming, excruciating, painful thing that I rank up there in my most painful or uncomfortable moments or anything like that. It was just like, I hope this is over soon. What's the most painful doctor experience you have? Either by you getting like horribly injured before you go or just something they do there. Yeah, I remember as a kid I had this doctor. He was Vietnamese.

His name was Dr. Haddock and I was afraid of him because when I would visit Dr. Haddock, like he was vietnamese his name was dr haddock and i was afraid of him because um when i would visit dr haddock like he was no nonsense like he would he's gonna give you a shot but he would also i remember i had like this like nasal congestion thing and he would use that squeeze bottle to like clear my sinuses no mercy as a seven-year-old he's just and i'm just like He's like, there we go. Clear it all out. Must have been McCain's dentist. Yeah, it's like his little squeeze

bottle came with like an air socket hookup. He was not fucking around and I just remember fearing him because it was very uncomfortable and painful when he'd do that and always being afraid of that. But I don't know. When I broke my ankle, I remember him like not thinking it wasn't broken and squeezing it and asking if it hurts here

and me just screaming, Yes! And he'd be like, All right, okay, okay. I don't know. That was one of the most painful things, breaking that ankle. That was just awful

because they had me walking around for a week in a soft gas splint, basically, for a sprained ankle when it was broken. I don't know. I can't think of any – oh, the burn on my hand hurt before I got the medical attention, but afterwards it was great. I would have to say for me it's probably – so I've had a total of four knee surgeries. I'd have to say for me, it's probably, so I've had like a total of four knee surgeries. And one of the surgeries was just called a manipulation, which I thought was going to be like the easy of the, all the other three were like meniscus, like two of them are lateral and one's menial.

But the manipulation was because I couldn't fully straighten my knee. I had scar tissue built up. And they say manipulation like it's just going to be something. They go in and kind of slowly, slowly move. But you basically get slightly sedated not to the point where you're actually fully out of it though and they take your knee and go okay let's make sure this can stretch and then just rip it they're like one two and they just fully straighten your knee and rip the scar tissue so it was like a state of like somewhat being out of it

and then all of a sudden just okay that happens my knee is straightened and i'm in like horrible pain slash half like sedated and they actually have to strap you down to the table while they do it like arms and legs so you feel like you're in some kind of like horrible like insidious movie or something where you're being like wheeled into the the back room sounds like a party to me tell me more about the straps. I like leather. Are you familiar with bondage tape? It comes in a roll. It sticks to itself, but there's no glue involved. It's good stuff.

It doesn't cut off the circulation either. Makes the cleanup easy? You just throw it away afterwards? Is it a one-time use type thing, bondage tape? The girl? It depends how frugally you are. No, the tape. I mean, that's... Yeah, you just throw the tape away.

That's definitely not a reusable item. That's funny. I'm more a fan of the fuzzy handcuffs than the tape. Tape seems like it's a little more aggressive. Yeah. You know what? We all start with the handcuffs. You spend 20 years with the same woman.

You got to fucking try something different. A little bit of mummification. Step it up, step it up, step it up. Before long. Just a little bit of like a kidnappy vibe. I saw a GIF on Reddit where the lady's lying on a bed with this huge rubber sheet over her entire naked body. And then they like vacuum seal her to the bed so tightly that you can see the indentations of like you can see a camel toe and like her belly button and her nipples like that's how tight the plastic or latex is on her

maybe some shit like that yeah yeah yeah i want to vacuum seal a bitch i was gonna say we're back keep her in your closet for later you worry you she'll have second thoughts when i come back you worry you still have second thoughts but how would you know just hit that ziploc creators are like damn it we missed out on the market that's easy okay that's a that is a thing um i i did some of those prank phone calls earlier and i got some interesting reactions by the way I'm gonna I gotta go back I got some audio issues I used OBS

but I gotta work on my like levels because I feel like the person who's cursing at me on the other end of the line was a little quiet did you Skype call them? nice is that what you used Woody OBS? I use it now I used to use x split

yeah i gotta do some test calls with like i don't know my cell phone would probably be the best bet i'm gonna call i'll call my cell phone and get my levels right but i've been i've been fucking with people today well don't ruin any but any premises you could maybe spoil? So I had this idea that there's the LGBT group, you know, rights group that supports lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered rights, and we're all big supporters of that group around here. But I felt like it would be funny to call some conservative business owners and pitch to them that we're having a fun run for our organization,

which is a little more edgy. We support the rights of some of those groups that not everybody's willing to throw their weight behind the pedophiles of America, okay? Not everybody is willing to get behind the people who like to suck dog cock and get fucked by horses and stuff like that. The furries, all those people. I'm sorry to throw the furries in there with them, but I feel like it's fun to explain what a furry is to a conservative businessman.

I'm sorry. It's not that I think they're on the same level. Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to trigger anyone. I'm just saying it's hilarious to hear these guys be like, hell no, hell no, faggot shit. Yeah. Just keep calling them all day.

I think I'm going to do it a little bit tomorrow, too. I had a good time today. Just calling them back over and over. I got $50 for the Skype credit. It's a lot of fun. Furries and people who actually fuck animals, like, they're not in the same league. No.

They're definitely playing the same sport. It's like violin and fiddle, you know? They're in the minor leagues. Like the ECHL. Of BCality. They're just getting there. Maybe they'll make it in the end. I'm sure there's some furries that might be insulted by such a proposition.

I'm not judging either group. If you like to get fucked by dogs or you like to fuck a guy dressed like a dog or you like to be fucked by a guy dressed like a dog. Any of those things are perfectly cool by me. You do what you need to do. You do you. It's a damn good weekend right there. Yes.

I'm fine with all of those. Can you imagine if you're doing both? Can you imagine the dog coming in and it's used to fucking like a human and it sees like your ass dressed up as like a six foot tall dog. It's like, oh shit, how am I going to compete with that? It's incompletion. I'm a Rottweiler, but that dude's at least 225 pounds. Oh, that guy can reach the fridge? Man.

Oh, and he opens doorknobs. Fuck all this! Oh, this guy. I get my own treats whenever I want them. Dude, Jesus is getting a dog. Yeah, he's getting a Datsun. Can you put the link in here so I have to change everything yeah yeah let me hunt that down real quick we know done right we're gonna

your dog he already has it's not a is it a wiener it look furrier I want to see the pictures again well it says right on it that it's a wiener dog but I'm looking for it let's see shit maybe it was in the other chat let me go over there story I want a dog here soon I'm looking to get in like an Iggy but I feel like Iggy's are like the the stereotypical YouTube dog I don't new dogs but what

the fuck it's a tangray hon it's like a small a rapper It's like a 7 out of 10. Very easily confused. Oh, those have a nice ass. I'm here to let you guys know. So this appears to be what an Iggy is. They come slightly tested. She's branded. Maybe this one's a cattle farmer's dog.

I don't know. Just think of like Dobie the Elf. It looks like a small little Dobie the Elf with four legs. That's pretty much exactly what Iggy looks like. Master gives us clothes! Let's look for a regular Iggy. Shit, if you just Google Iggy,

is it spelled I-G-G-Y? I-G-G-Y, yeah. I'll have to add dog to it. Yeah, you're going to have to put... I'm just hearing that rap song in my head now. I-G-G-Y. I see it. Yeah, you're going to have to put I'm just hearing that rap song in my head now. I see it. This looks pretty cool to me.

Oh my God. This is a one-eyed Iggy. Gross. A Cyclops Iggy. Search for Iggy dog and look at the first result you get. It's a Cyclops like this thing belongs on Vet Ranch. God, there's a lot of one-eyed dogs.

I linked Chiz's dog. He said he's going to name it Ruby. I think his name is Sabine currently, but very cute. It's a miniature Datsun. Aw. Datsuns are adorable. My girlfriend has Datsuns. She's got one that lives with us. And I really, like before I like, I've told this to our audience before, but just for your sake, like before I hung out with that dog and lived with it or whatever, I thought Dachshunds were one of the lamer dogs. I thought they looked stupid.

I didn't think they would be really physically able to do anything. But man, that dog's got so much personality and it runs around and plays tons of games. It knows a lot of commands. It does tricks and stuff. I've bought it a bunch of costumes and outfits and it's vicious when it comes to anything smaller than it. So it's, you know, it's got a different... What a dickhead dog. Well, like lizards and stuff. Like those are her prey. Although she bit Dax cock the other day and he screamed and ran away.

It was great. Bit him right on the dick. My black Great Dane is the... Actually, both my Great Danes are very, very sweet. I feel like they've got tons of personality. You would like them. They're fantastic dogs. Your dog takes a bigger shit than my dog.

Yes. I don't have the budget to be going through that many pairs of shoes the farting and the shitting really is one of the major hangups that keeps me away from your dogs the pooping the pooping isn't that big an issue we've got a lot of land and stuff and the girls handle it it doesn't bother me too much i like that see hang on rewind he said we got a lot of and well, someone else picks all the dogs. So I don't have a problem

with the huge turds. They are big turds. They're like human-sized turds. 120-some pounds. Our dog just got weighed. Yeah. That's got to take a little piece of your soul every time

bending over to pick up a human-sized shit oh there's a it's like a dust pan and brush but i've picked up dog shit like when taking it on walks for like little dogs but that's just like you know it's like you're grabbing like a fuzzy caterpillar with a bag you grab it and pull it in and you can't even notice the weight but just the feeling of feeling the weight of all of that. Heaps and mounds of dog shit. It's swinging. It's a stiff breeze outside, but the bag stays firm. It's so big it's been colonized

by termites. There's a whole ecosystem in that shit now. It's a petri dish. New things are evolving. I bet if they piss, I bet if they ever piss in the house it's a lake they're they're really good now ender's always we we got ender he's like four months old and he was already housebroken but um but yeah when harley pissed and stuff oh my god it's such a huge problem like jackie left and i had to deal with it right which is not

right and unacceptable completely and I was like like there's so much pee paper towels have make no impact on this like fucking disaster area yeah and that's what I did I was like you know fuck it I'm gonna sacrifice a couple towels to this and then it washes out throw Just throw them in the side. I threw them straight in the outdoor trash. Like you get a towel. You clean it up. Oh, look at Mr. Fancy Pants.

He could throw away his piss towel. What are you, Charlie? No, it's a fucking piss towel. And then like I fold it up in such a way that it's not leaking anymore. I run it outside. I dump it in the trash. That towel's never to be seen by me again anyway. It's just gone.

Out of here. Hang it out. There was this kid named Jared when I was, I guess, in first grade maybe. And he came over to my house on a play date. And he, I guess, had to take a shit at some point throughout the day. And so I went in the bathroom and instead of like taking his shit and being like, oh dear, there's no toilet paper in here and like knocking and being embarrassed his first time over at my house, he just used one of my bath towels to wipe his ass

and then just left it in the tub. And so then when I went in there later that night. Oh, age. What's the age group? How old are you in like first, second grade-ish? Like six? Six to seven. Yeah, and five, so six, seven. Yeah, so six or seven.

And there was just a towel covered in little boy poop in the fucking bathtub sitting there. And I had to tell my parents that it wasn't me and that I guess Jared did it. And we just never had him over again. It was settled. It was just, sorry if you really bonded with this kid, but we can't have kids pooping on our bathroom.

When I was 12, so my best friend's father was divorced. So my best friend's parents were divorced. My best friend's father was divorced. Yeah. So my best friend's parents were divorced. And he developed this real like hero thing around his dad. Right. He didn't see his dad much. His dad was kind of a scumbag.

Fucking cheated on his mom. Ran out of town. Let her handle the kids entirely. And then did that again to another woman after they had another set of kids. I'm not a huge fan. Yeah. Not a great track record. Yeah.

This guy would just fucking seat him and leave him like repeatedly but um i made that up on my own seat him and leave him anyway if i were a landscaper that'd be my that'd be my uh i'm a side of my truck yeah but um but anyway so he just loved his dad he thought his dad was the greatest thing in the world he would just describe little things like i guess he'd watch tv and his bicep would flex. And he's like, my dad's bicep flexes while he watches TV. It's incredible. So finally he brought me to like spend the weekend at his dad's. He spent like every other weekend or something visiting his dad. And he brought me with him. When I was there, they had this cabin in pennsylvania

somewhere and i blew my nose into toilet paper and then threw it out i i don't is this odd behavior it seems kind of normal nothing is adding up so far this is normal okay well the dog took the toilet paper out and like scattered it in like outside like in not in in the house somewhere there was a pile of toilet paper. And I didn't put it all together, but they were like, what's going on here? Why is the toilet paper scattered in the entryway hallway? And they're asking for people to own up to it,

like how did the toilet paper even get out here? And I'm like, well, the dog did it. And they're like, but why would the dog did it and they're like but why would the dog even have access to toilet I didn't realize it until a year later they thought I shit in the and wipe my ass and threw it in the trash or the hallway or something and then the dog got a hold of it what a weird leap to take and I and I never owned up to the fact that I blew my nose and threw the toilet paper away because they made it so bad. How old were you?

12-ish? Maybe they thought that someone had been masturbating into the tissues and that was the substance on all of them. That's possible. Because there was a real whodunit. Like, what is the story behind this toilet paper? Who's ghoul-fying my cabin? And, like, the adult me would have just admitted, like, I blew my nose. Or maybe I could have flushed it or something.

I don't know. But there was a whole, like, how did the dog get the toilet paper? How did the dog have access to it? What's the story that led up to it? Oh, that was, like, the most little panic feeling in your chest when you're over at a friend's house for the first time and like either your friend gets yelled at or the parent makes an exclamation of being pissed off about something that you didn't know is a big deal where they'll be like what who who left the lid off of the garbage can and it's like oh shit like this wasn't this never

was for real at my house and then you have to like either listen to your friends get yelled at which is always so uncomfortable or you have to go up there and take the blame you know take that bullet for them because they can't yell at you i was like never done that no you never you never went over to a friend's house and they had really weird rules oh yeah but i would never take the blame i'm not gonna be like, yeah, it was me, the visitor who fucked shit up. I remember I went to a friend's house one time. He was kind of a friend. I guess maybe not because we go down to his basement and he was one of these kids who, his parents got divorced at an early age and the dad had a lot of money. And I imagined that the

mom was getting a large amount of child support and she spent it on the kids, all of it seemingly. large amount of child support and she spent it on the kids all of it seemingly and you can only spend so much on school clothes right so they got toys oceans of toys with all this child support money and so their basement was like a playground you know pool tables and air hockey and shit like that and there were toys literally scattered everywhere and i just remember being down there and all of a sudden the lights go out the wholeum the whole basement goes semi dark and my eyes are having a hard time adjusting and him and his brother are running around from Corner to corner and I can't really make out what's going on And then run up one of them runs at me with a Jason mask and a pool stick and whacks me in the knee And then runs away into the darkness again, and I'm like what the fuck

This is some kind of game They played where they would turn the lights out arm arm themselves, and fight each other in the darkness. And I wasn't in on the joke. So I'm just like, huh, huh. I'm like backing up around the pool table, and I step on a Lego. And I'm just, ah! I fall back on my ass. And I just remember his little brother, Patrick, standing on my chest like a native with this pool stick going, got him!

I got him! And raising it up like he's gonna poke me and the mom opens the basement door, flooding the downstairs with light and goes, dinner! And I'm just like, I enjoyed those chicken nuggets more than any meal I've ever had in my life. It's like safe.

Yeah, I had to explain the bruises at school. They may have pushed you into a trap there. They had that Lego specifically set up so you'd fall backwards. They tried to do the thing that Batman did to Bane to you. Turn off all the lights and run around.

You merely adopted the darkness. I was born to it. Cool cues and Legos. Strong initiated. God damn it. Strong, agently the initiated whatever the fuck his line was ruin that sorry sorry so i guess one last thing politics talk before josh has to run you look like a sanders supporter to me he's feeling the burn you feel the burn josh

i i usually don't quite get all too political but i i would have to say especially when it comes to cannabis views i do not politically endorse any of the candidates i don't think when it comes to like most of the things that they're saying and spouting and pandering to people like me for are like i know everyone is super supportive because he says that weed's going to be legalized, but there's one more important things we should probably be worrying about, like, I don't know, politics? Usually a political view is a little more important than cannabis. And I just, when it comes to politics, I'm a cannabis activist activist not a political reformist so i don't currently support any of the candidates i guess um because i'm not super into politics i guess that's my overall like

very held back view that's a bullshit view you support sanders and you know it and there's nothing wrong with that i think i didn't even get it they're like i'm not really a political activist i'm a cannabis activist if i had to choose any of the candidates i guess i probably would say i believe with most of the things like bernie stands for i don't agree with his uh like socialism views but i i don't know i don't know how to answer that. Politics are not my strong suit. So you're down with his views on weed, but not necessarily like everyone gets health care. Not really. Yeah, not really even so much weed.

Just kind of across the board. But I mean, I feel like all the candidates currently, there'll be like one or two things that I can latch on to. And then two or three things that I'm like, are you trolling right now? Like, are you literally just being like a professional troll? Yes, he is. I don't know. Yeah so that one of them is yes i would like to dispel the myth that mark rubio has any idea what he's doing mark rubio has no idea what he's doing i i love this political cycle um uh i guess you know we just had the the most recent primary or uh the most recent uh i'm having a great yeah the new hampshire why don't you talk about the debate i'm talking about

the new hampshire i'm talking about the one bernie won that was the that's a new hampshire primary yes yes thank you um just had that and that was interesting to see bernie win of course you know it was a neighboring state and he had a massive ground game there. But I just like seeing Hillary lose and to see her campaign kind of like trying to downplay the loss and all that stuff. Most likely, Hillary's going to be our next president. We looked earlier. The odds are even on most Vegas betting sites

or maybe just plus a little. You know, like if you bet $115, you get $100 back. Yeah, whatever. It was a tiny amount. It was like she had the best odds of anyone. It was either even or almost even. And then, you know, followed by Trump right after that,

which Trump, of course, won his over on the Republican side. And Kasich stepped up to number two, Woody's favorite candidate. Kasich, maybe he'll get some more eyeballs on him because from what I've seen to him, from him, he seems like a good guy and he doesn't seem like he has any of those outrageous negatives that I find in Rubio and Cruz and Bush. The funniest thing we watched today was that it was like, it was Jeb Bush's most embarrassing moments. Oh, that was sad. You know, the term cringe word that gets thrown around,

and for those of you who are listening to this, pull back on that a little bit. You're not cringing at every little social faux pas. Sometimes we just laugh at the fact that we're human beings and we err. But in this instance, it was Jeb getting his shit pushed in. Legitimately, it was Trump talking him down, talking over him, and insulting him simultaneously. Jeb was like, no, no, it's my turn to talk, and Trump's like, no, it was Trump talking him down, talking over him, and insulting him simultaneously. Jeb was like, no, no, it's my turn to talk, and Trump's like, no, it's

not! You're low energy, you're this, you're that, ha ha ha ha! And the crowd laughs at him. The crowd laughs at him, and his facial expression when he's trying to, like, bear the, he scans the crowd, clearly looking at all the people laughing at him. Where's the Jeb section? He's looking

for those friendly faces out there. He's like's of course barbara where's dad where's little where's george like nobody's out there for him i watched that live and i didn't catch his face like that can you find the video again it should be linked the turtles can i tell him about the turtles let's watch it together okay i'm actually still convinced that, yeah, definitely. By the end of this little political, like, I don't even know what to call it, run, we're going to get something called, like, the real politics of America on, like, ABC that's going to air every night at 9 o'clock. And realistically, it's just a reality show of, like, all these people trying to become president,

and none of them are actually going to be president. Like, that's how I feel about most of the current political opponents. I'd rather watch that show than a debate. Right? I feel like that's what the debates are, though. It's like the Real Housewives of America or something that you have to sit, listen to them debate randomness that they don't really even know.

On the Democratic side, they tend to debate the issues, and on the Republican side, they tend to just put each other down. And that's actually true. If you watch both, and I've watched both, it's pretty undeniable that they sit there and... There's a lot less people on the Democratic side. And so on the Republican side, there's so many of these fuckers that it constantly seems like they will, you know, eschew mentioning the issue if they can get a

nice jab in at like, you know, I think that we should lower taxes and Carly Fiorina, what a whore, right? You know, and then they just move to the next. Like it's constantly just trying to pull everybody down. Yeah. You guys ready to watch this? Can I just preface it by saying,

after watching this, not only do I feel sorry for Jeb Bush, but I'm actually, like, I feel so sorry for him that I'm going to look into his policies

and I'm going to see what his actual policies are and give him an inkling of a chance. Before, I literally turned a blind eye to him completely because

of his last name, but I feel so bad for this man after watching this 2 minute and 30 second video that I'm going to give him a shot for at least my consideration. Not that I have any sway over anything whatsoever, but I feel like it'll make me feel better to give him that. Throw him a pity vote. It's like a sad puppy.

Are you guys ready? Check this out. All right. So ready, set. Are you ready, Josh? Yeah. Okay. Ready, set, play. This is a tough business to run for president. Oh, I know. You, are you ready, Josh? Yeah. Okay, ready, set, play.

This is a tough business to run for president. Oh, I know, you're a tough guy, Jeff. And we need to have a leader that is principled. You're never going to be president of the United States by insulting your way to the presidency. Let's see, I'm at 42 and you're at 3, so so far I'm doing better. Doesn't matter. Look at the poor guy. Look how sad.

You're moving over further and further. Saying to solve the problem. He doesn't do a thing to solve the problem. He's like smiling it off. Look how sad. He's like smiling at us. Oh, poor man. Look at him. Look at this look. Look at this smile. The pain. She's got a bush, god damn it. Who's the cameraman for ABC? Jesus Christ. Right? And Michael J. Fox over there. What's happening? Show them the turtles. Listen, listen.

Why are you guys obsessed about the turtles? They they're gone I gave them all out today where they come from there sea turtles there's a guy in New Hampshire today that he came in for the first town hall he gives me my come up here the music is great too. You're right. Please clap. Please. He got a lot of hate for that. Look at him. That's it?

He's been kicked out. He's been kicked out of the New Hampshire Rotary Luncheon at the National Country Club right now. They're kicking me out the door. They're kicking him out of the New Hampshire Rotary Luncheon. What is that? Who knows? Look at him. I believe your schedule has a hard stop.

No, it doesn't. You're kicking him out. That's rough. Look at him. Oh, this. For people on the audio thing, he's just putting on a hoodie, and it looks so ridiculous. Oh, my goodness. This is cringeworthy for anyone watching.

60 or 70 year old Jeb Bush putting on that hoodie and trying to look sort of urban and grinning like it's going to appeal to some odors. This is great. His mom's starting to get a real Skeletor vibe about her. The best part about today was my mom finally said I'm their favorite. And mom goes, no, I didn't. What a cunt. Read all the children? No.

What a cunt. She should be like, absolutely, absolutely. I always knew George did great things, but I knew you were the one who was going to do it. She could have backed him up. The fucking news cameras are there, mom. What she meant was, I love all my kids. At least I am saying I'm your favorite. What she meant was, I love all my kids. At least I am saying I'm your favorite.

She could have said, I love them all or something. But just no way, you're not the favorite. That was the worst possible answer. Wow. She's senile at this point, it looks like. Right. Gotta go. Can you explain the turtles in depth?

There has to be something. Yeah, yeah. It's a slow but steady wins the race. That can't be all. That's ridiculous. That is it. One of his supporters is giving him those because that's what he's saying to Jeb. It's, hey, slow and steady wins the race.

And he's adopting that, and he's giving them back to his supporters and telling that to them like that kid. Yeah, he's saying he's the tortoise. He's going to keep grinding. He's not going to stop. He's committed. And that these guys who are blowing up to 30% and then dropping out of the race, don't look at them. They're the rabbit who's just out there showing off being a jerk.

I'm the slow and steady tortoise that wins the race. Now, that's probably not going to be the truth, unfortunately. No, he's not going to win. You probably shouldn't convey that opinion with a pocket full of little figurines. he's not going to win. He probably shouldn't convey that opinion with a pocket full of little figurines. It's very unbecoming of a president to see a bunch of spiky little things

poking out of their nice dress pants. So here's a 13 second video of Ted Cruz trying to kiss his daughter to sort of give off that family man vibe by his tour bus in front of the cameras. All right. after this one i want to talk about it is josh coming back i think he is yeah this one i've seen this one this is just a little girl kind of pushing away from her dad it's not she's old enough to know that she should

she should be their camera Let me watch this together. It's only 13 seconds. Ready, set, play. She's doing this to him. Alright. So that was rough. I get that. He tried to show his daughter some affection, and she didn't return it.

And it was clear that that wasn't a regular thing. That wasn't their, like, oh, so you're leaving? Give my damn daddy a kiss, like always. She was like, what the fuck? I didn't get that. My thing is... Watch it in slow motion. She is repulsed. Yeah, but she's a child.

She's in a bad mood because she didn't get the flavor Pop-Tarts she wanted. Exactly. Kids can be cunts sometimes. Look at those Obama kids. I knew Woody would be on the right with this one. Yeah. The Obama kids. Look at Chelsea Clinton.

You don't see her showing her ass out there. I was talking to my daughter about this. You remember the time when she said, like, see if we can make money sitting on our couch. I talked to her about that a few years later. And I was like, you know, sometimes it seemed like you just weren't on my team. You know, like just, like, you know,

like everything was kind of begrudging. And she's like, yeah, sometimes I wasn't. I was 12. And, you like, yeah, sometimes I wasn't. I was 12. And, you know, like it was a phase. And now she's so much easier to talk to and we get along great. And I'm sure my kids have done that to me at one time. And I'm the best parent I know how to be. Sometimes kids, like Taylor called out a great thing she might not have

gotten the flavor pop tart she want they're in the middle of a presidential campaign and there must be so much stress on the family i'm sure she doesn't understand that her father is working like 140 hours a week right now how old do you think she is temporary like 11 11 ish oh come on let me watch again. Hang on. Let me look up how old she is. That's probably... Yeah, 11, 12 is my guess. You tell me where I am on that.

But yeah, I kind of feel like kids are going to be sassy sometimes. And I saw that. If anything, my heart went out to Cruz because he's just trying to love up his daughter before they had to be separated yet again. She's probably upset that they get separated so much right now. The stress that a presidential campaign must put on your family is worse than anything I've done with mine. So I think Ted Cruz is a cunt. He's one of my least favorite candidates. But I'll cut him some slack on this little interaction.

I feel like you can just be in a bad mood sometimes. Sometimes you're just, especially as a kid, like a 12-year-old or a 10-year-old, the kid can have a bad mood and not understanding how to control said bad mood. So it's nice to be a little shit. If his wife did this. Yeah, it would be completely different.

Like an actual adult. His wife knows there's cameras around and people are watching. And even if she's mad at him, she needs to be – keep that in the – you talk about that in the hotel room tonight where you sort out your issues. But here is not the place to do that. His little girl, you know, is, ah, whatever. If I hold anyone at fault, it's her, and she gets a pass because she's so young.

Yeah, because she's very young. Okay, all right. So I'm probably on your page now, although you could see this kid wasn't down for that kiss leading up to it. So I'm reading this here. It's straight from dailycaller.com. A contributor to the Huffington Post, a notable male feminist, has claimed Senator Ted Cruz's

awkward effort to hug and kiss his uninterested daughter isn't simply an odd campaign moment, but actually an example of rape culture. Of course it is. Cruz suffered an embarrassing moment Sunday when video surfaced of him attempting to hug and kiss his seven-year-old daughter, seven. Caroline, while out on Iowa campaign trail, she was not terribly interested, created a strange scene.

Rape. God. Rape culture. What a ridiculous trivialization. Dude. Rape is when you force someone to have sex with you that didn't want to. Or if you lean into them and make them uncomfortable for a moment you know it's a thin wire you walk yeah if if you're on a date and you had dinner and you go

back and she says no and you still have sex that's rape if you didn't know her at all and you pull her into someplace dark and private and she has sex with you and she said no that's rape what is not rape is he didn't say it was rape he said it was it was um part of rape culture you want to i can speed through what the actual feminist guy said i don't agree with it but he says as you probably know rape culture is the way in which our society enables sexual violence against women and men. This spans everything from the portrayal of women as sex objects in media to how consent is taught, expressed, and honored. When you look at the gif I posted, you see that his daughter clearly does

not want to be kissed. Were this playful moment perhaps our perception would be different, but it's not. It is obvious she does not want the attention from her father. When I cite this as an example of benign rape culture, I mean that it's one of those seemingly meaningless moments that enables violent acts. No, I don't believe Ted Cruz would ever hurt his daughter, nor do I believe anything he's doing here is remotely sexual, but I think it's important to discuss

the role of consent in this situation. If her father doesn't respect her boundaries, wouldn't this make it harder for her to understand she's able to assert boundaries to unwanted attention down the road? No. At seven years old, you don't get to set a bunch of boundaries with your parents.

Here's a comprehensive list of vegetables that I'm okay being served. Nothing green will ever make it on my plate. I'm setting a boundary. That's not it, though. That's the spirit of what they're saying. The whole objectification thing is silly.

That's a weird kind of thought policing, where it's like saying, I'm not okay with what you think internally, and so I'm going to project from you what you must be thinking about this image and what I assume you are thinking is wrong. I disagree. You objectify people every day.

When you go to your doctor, you don't go, you know, this guy's a real swell dude, didn't really notice any diplomas hanging up on his wall, but I trust him. It's like, no, you're objectifying him on his ability to do his job as a doctor. When a contractor comes, you don't go, what a swell dude. We had a lot of fun chatting over lemonade. Let's hope he can do his job. No, that guy is an object that you're paying to get the work done. I don't know. It's just a whole silly thing that you're paying to get the work done. I don't know.

It's just a whole silly thing that you just get caught up in semantics and then you bicker over terminology until people get too exhausted to continue. I think he was really zeroing in on the fact that a man was forcing a woman to receive some sort of affection or kiss, and he felt like that that was going to have some more deep-rooted effect on her psyche further down the road. Maybe she was going to have some more deep rooted effect on her psyche further down the road. Maybe she was going to have flashbacks to daddy.

I understand what he's saying. I'm just saying it's wrong and stupid and sensationalizing it. He's clearly trying to just pander to his audience. He knows the kind of people who are reading it. There aren't any Ted Cruz fans on his blog like, I never thought of it like that. Go Bernie or whatever he's supporting.

Like, I don't know. It's just so pandering and silly. It seems like he was literally just trying to get, like, a rise and trying to get, like, a group of people that would agree with his opinion. Yeah, and you know when Obama was kissing those little babies, you know, if it was a little boy baby, you know, all for it, but what if he forced himself to kiss a little girl baby what if she looks back on that what if it was a white baby about sexuality

exactly interracial baby kissing unacceptable that that baby wasn't old enough to consent to a forehead kiss no to me i i feel like some people are so passionate about an issue right and this tumblerina dude i don't know what a Tumblerina dude would be called, the Kotaku dude, just looks through everything through this lens of rape culture, problematic areas, and assigns it to places it doesn't fit. I saw, there was a guy who was on some online forum,

but he always fussed about the environment, and then the movie cars came out and he's like imagine this horrific nightmare of a world where all these things like just spat their emissions everywhere imagine being near mater and what that tailpipe is like it's like dude it's a fucking pixar movie you can't just enjoy a movie about like car people talking and going through their but the guy was so passionate or warped take your pick that that he saw cars through the lens of environmental really does he really or is he is he doing that for the specific purpose of trying like his normal view his normal view of

like oh i just saw a car movie like he wouldn't go and write a review of said car movie and be like oh everyone's loving this car review like he can write this outlandish way out there review that's you know saying oh this is objectifying this that and the other thing and does he actually believe that like that hurt him in some way like thinking that cars are gonna you know actually be hurting the emissions i mean like that's literally specifically his view probably isn't like interesting enough so he has to like actually claim a different view to get a rise out of other people like i struggle to believe that someone actually saw cars and got offended because they thought that it would fuck with the emissions of that outside Pixar world.

Well, I defy you to find anything that at least one person isn't offended by. Yeah, that's true. Anything at all. You can pick the most benign thing of all time, and someone will get offended by it. will get offended by it like uh every time now every year that halloween comes around uh if you check twitter on halloween god forbid there's a whole section of like uh you know i'm i'm a culture i'm not a costume and it's some like and it's like almost like they're making fun of themselves because it's like i'm i'm you know a culturally enriched i'm not a costume and it's some dude dressed up as like a stereotypical samurai because he's japanese

okay so what you're saying is now we have to dress up based on our heritage so it's just uh you know assigned costume day have fun everyone you know make sure you get out culturally appropriate candy you know no no fresh water for you somalian boy like not from this house it's silly yeah i i agree and it's like it's just the entire social justice warrior cause like they are looking for something to get angry about because they're need some time to waste basically so it's like they might not even believe the cause that they're supporting but they're like listening for that trigger word they're listening for that keyword just so they can jump at you and have full range to attack you and or have like a ridiculous view that's different.

But they don't even believe that themselves. I think that like the people who are spouting the ridiculous ideas and the crazy like rape culture or this kind of culture, that kind of culture, whatever, car culture, like the people who are spouting that, I think they know on the inside that it's BS. Like for a lot of them, no, they can't be that smart to build a following like that and then meticulously place all these statements perfectly aligned to garner more followers of the same hive mind. But the people following them, I think for the most part, they're not as into it and they just think they're being good people, which is understandable.

Where they're like, oh, yeah, well, of course I'm against rape culture. Like that has the word rape in it. I'm against it because all reasonable people are yeah so yeah it seems like good willing or good intended intention to people rather get sucked into stuff like this and then they go off the rails a little bit but i think it starts from a place of goodness for the most part but then of course they're like the holier than thou people anyway sorry josh i know you don't have a ton of time. I know you've got to head out early.

What do you want to plug? Where can we go to see all the things that are Strain Central? I know there's the YouTube channel Strain Central. What's your social media like? Twitter, Facebook, anything like that? Yeah, my Twitter is just Strain Central, and then my Instagram is Strain underscore Central, but that's mostly just pictures of weed.

Strain Central, I actually have mostly just pictures of like weed. So, um, strain central, I actually have like links to my live streaming stuff. I do like occasional Twitch streams and stuff, but yeah, just strain central pretty much all across the board, Facebook, Twitter,

and then Instagram strain underscore central. But yeah, I appreciate you guys letting me come on. It was, it was an awesome, awesome time. I, I,

I really, uh, find your channel to be interesting. It seems like a new way to make some money with this verging industry. You need to get your own strain of marijuana, which you can promote. Then you can promote the stores that they're in,

the strain, and get money coming and going. Do that, and you'll make a lot of money. It's very much something that is in the works. I had a meeting with this a couple weeks ago. Your face is the brand. Put that on there. Not even kidding. It should be. The lion Your face is the brand. Put that on there. Not even kidding. It should be.

The lion mane that is my hair. You're going to be the Colonel Sanders of pot. That look right there. You're photogenic. You got a good look. You look the part. Big smile. That should be part of the brand.

I appreciate that. I will definitely, I'll keep that in mind. Well, thanks for coming on. Thank you guys very much. Nice to meet you. Have an awesome time, guys. I think I might have myself a DIY project here.

I've seen these on Reddit before, but I'm in the market for a new bed, and I was looking at what kind of frame I was going to do. I remembered this, and I found this link here that shows you how to build the thing. It's this floating bed, and I found this link here that shows you how to build the thing. It's this floating bed and I really think it's cool, especially with the lighting underneath.

A floating bed? Yeah, yeah. Do you have the link there? Yeah. They're making it incorrectly. Are they? Yeah. And part of me feels like, I don't know. Who am I to say?

But I've built stuff in this class several times before. Hang in there. I'm fixing everybody's images and such. I've seen two different ways to build it, but I'm curious what you think is wrong here. I think they should have used a torsion frame construction. That bed could be prone to... Warping? Warping, yeah, yeah. Not even permanently, but even if it was just temporarily.

Shit, I've got to fix this too. Sorry, I'm going to the big screen and now I'm fixing Mirka again. Oh my god, this is great, this website. I went to an adjacent link for 18 do-it-yourself projects that you're definitely going to want to try. And these are the most

non-functional, stupid, horrible projects that I've horrible projects. Are you changing the topic? It's very hard. No, no, go ahead. Yeah, I'm going to, we can talk about this after. Yeah, let's do that. I mean, I'm happy to, but anyway, so this is the bed. People are looking at it. It looks pretty cool. It looks like it's floating on air. When you have something like this, I think if I were building it, the objective would be to keep it so that even though it's hanging over the edge, it doesn't like flex and bend. And when you see they build it, you build the perimeter, you put it together.

The only thing they did wrong to me is they didn't put those horizontal torsion things all the way through. If you were to put racking force on this, right? Let's pretend that you had weight in one corner. Then the part that doesn't have the blocking, like the horizontal beams that are just sort of long and they're rectangles instead of squares is the part where that bed would be most able to flex you just need to have the blocking all the way through so it's a big grid that's it's called about this the second link i sent you is is that what you're referring to um it's an imager i think it is oh image let me look No, I wasn't looking at the second one. Yeah, it's being displayed as like a full image there that you can click, but it'll take you to an image or gallery.

Oh. So why do you want this? Just because you think it looks neat? I think it's really cool. Yeah, I think it's really cool because obviously, you know, you can't see the legs of the bed. That's the whole cool thing about it. It looks like it's levitating, floating there.

I think that's cool. And I'm in a queen mattress right now, but I think I'm going to go to a king mattress. I don't know why I've had a queen this long anyway. It just never occurred to me. It looks good. I might have more blocking in it, like two per row instead

of one. The idea is that it stays flat. I built two things. One, that loft bed that I used to have in my office. And it was one of those deals where you needed to stay flat and it wasn't supported in all four corners. And another was an assembly table. Another thing that was like, it was imperative that it stays flat and it hangs over the edge. So you use a torsion box construction for that.

And these guys don't. Can you get good lumber like that i saw one of these guys used california redwood like where do you go to get nice finished lumber like that there's hardwood stores um i'm typically do they finish it you might have to pay him extra to have them well he sanded it i mean i'm sure but like it looked good when he got his raw materials were they looked nice yeah no you i mean i'm trying to think i in my head i'm like i'd be tempted to build a lot of this out of like for something like this it's tempted to do a whole bunch of two by four and then all the show would would be the expensive stuff and i saw where the guys like even the exterior is like 1x6s, and he just stained it, and it looks good.

Like, just stained 1x6s look real nice. He put, like, a red stain on it. So I think I'm going to do something like that. I think I'm going to get one of these Casper mattresses because Chiz got one, and he was raving about it on our trip. And the beds, we rented that really nice lodge, that really nice cabin, and it was perfect in every way, I thought, from the in-floor heating to the huge, gigantic windows, but the beds were really, really lumpy, and we got to talking about the Casper mattress,

so I think I'm going to get one of those. Speaking of Casper, Casper is an online retailer of premium mattresses for a fraction of the price. The mattress industry has inherently forced consumers into paying notoriously high markups. Casper is revolutionizing the mattress industry by cutting the cost of dealing with resellers and showrooms and passing the savings directly to the consumer while still being an American-made mattress. A Casper mattress provides resilience and long-lasting supportive comfort. Casper mattress is one of a kind, a hybrid mattress that combines premium latex foam with

memory foam. Mattresses can often cost well over $1,500, but Casper mattresses cost between $500 for a twin-size mattress, and it's $750 for a full-size, $850 for a queen, and $950 for a king-size mattress. Casper understands that buying a mattress online can have consumers wondering how this is possible. Buying a Casper mattress is completely risk-free. Casper offers free delivery and returns within a 100-day period. It's that simple. Statistically, lying on a bed for four minutes in a showroom has no correlation to whether it's the right bed for you. That's why Casper has turned the buying experience into a risk-free experience. Casper understands the importance of truly trying out a mattress that

is in all reality, you're going to spend a third of your life on the thing. So to get $50 toward any mattress purchase, go to casper.com slash pka and use the code pka at checkout. That's what I'm going to do. That's what you really should do. If your room is real wide, get a King. If it's long, get a California King. I think the King would be big enough because even with like

i don't have the big i think the big dogs you have necessitate the california king so i think you might be thinking that the california king is just bigger it's actually i think it's a few inches narrower and a few inches longer by your feet so we got a california king because our room is like i don't even know how long our room is. It's like 40 feet long. It's stupid. So we were like, ah, yeah. On the other hand, between the two doors, like there's just enough room for an end table on either side.

So California King shrinks you a few inches closer to your partner, but more foot room. Yeah, I would rather have the kink than I think. Well, then maybe, yeah. Whatever fits the room better. It's the lateral movement space that you need. The thing is, we're still talking about kinks. There's enough room for four people in either one of these stupid beds. That's true.

We've done it. It depends how big the people are, but I see what you're hitting. Three Americans. Three Americans. And four Asians. Take your pick. Two Americans. There's a difference. And four Asians. Take your pick. Two Americans. Yeah, I see where you're headed

with that. Like one Samoan. They can't help it. Did you see that DIY thing that I got off of tangentially to what you linked, Kyle, in there? I'm clicking it now. If you go to... Some of these are...

To be clear, all of them are stupid and bad ideas to do yourself. Or to have someone do for you. I don't know. I like this... Go to page two for a lace candle holder. I like number four, the fresh outdoor seat.

Go to number what for the lace it's number 10 overall it's on the second page if you go to the bottom and you'll hit next and then go down and you'll see that their instructions is to take a doily which is just basically a piece of frilly paper and to wet it around a blown up balloon and then I guess either pop the balloon or pull the balloon out I guess you have to pop it and then it kind of forms into a bowl, and they're instructing you to put candles in the middle of this spherical, I guess it rolls maybe, kind of doily, which is just paper. So they're asking you to put fire in paper in this shitty-looking holder. What impression are you giving off to someone who comes over to your home and you have a

bunch of weird semi-crescent doilies folded up with flames in them that's it's a really awful awful looking idea i like number 12 let's see oh yeah any table i every so often not not the table but i've seen penny floors and i thought that was kind of neat yeah i've seen the penny floors i think that is pretty neat yeah we calculated the cost per square foot once and it's comparative to the time yeah it was expensive but like not outrageous i thought not prohibitively expensive yeah it was still just pennies maybe three dollars a square foot or something i don't recall yeah these are these are horrible ideas that you shouldn't i don't know do you ever i like to browse diy lists every so often to make myself feel better about the fact that i don't do

diy projects where i can just be like look at these assholes you know pulling tree branches out of the woods and then throwing lampshades on them what a bunch of dicks i like that stuff i like um i like the diy stuff that looks like I could actually do it. When they get into electrical engineering and stuff and they're putting servo motors in things, I'm like, all right, this is way beyond anything I can handle. But when they do something like this bed here where I'm like, yeah, I have every tool required for that. I know basic carpentry. Every cut may not be perfect, but if I take my time, I can build that. I have a pro tip on measuring stuff. Like, let's say, for example,

you want to make a, using your speed square to make a line, put your pencil on the measurement, slide the square to your pencil, then make the line. So many people will put the square there and then make the line after. Like, it would work better with video,

but you put the pencil down, you move your ruler over to it and then you draw the line that way it's in the perfect spot every time I use a felt pen so I can like stick it into the crease and then I know I usually in my head go either leave the line or cut the line

not like a sharpie but like a finer felt pen like a sharpie a sharpie is a felt pen I think okay there's also that like fine felt pen variety which is what i had in my head i like a mechanical pencil a mechanical pencil i get a smaller a lot it depends if it's furniture and like a 30 second matters i like a mechanical pencil because i can see it and um and it's a real fine repeatable line yeah it's not a mess by any means if it's construction i like those construction pencils because i can just shave off the tip and

i don't know they're more durable they don't break on on you yeah but but yeah i uh i'm considering building that thing i may or may not it looks cool i want one i really like the lighting underneath it too that look cool to me yeah i Yeah, I like that too. So your father's man cave, how's it going? He's got the stud walls on two sides and it's studs and plywood on the

other two walls. He had one of his windows finished out and put in. The rest of them are kind of framed out, but the holes haven't been cut and windows haven't been put in. So that's basically where he is. Oh, he's got the shower in there, not installed.

He's hiring people though, right? He's not doing it. Yeah, he's got contractors doing it. A friend of his is a carpenter contractor guy and he's always hanging out over there anyway. So it works out pretty well. Your dad's always hanging out over there? No, no.

Getting excited? Well, it's kind of their hangout spot anyway over by his shop, but the contractor who's doing the work is a friend of my dad, so he's often there hanging out anyway. So it just makes sense. One of his guys is weird.

I hadn't seen him since I was 17 or 18, but I immediately recognized him because he's missing a few of the fingers on his right hand. Some of them are missing and some of them are just badly deformed. But he's a carpenter. And I just remember working. We were building the skeet range that my dad got me.

And we had relocated this thing. We're putting the roofing on. And I just remember him up there working with us. And every now and then, he would bash one of his deformed fingers with the hammer. And I just remember it being fucked up and him just duct taping it and him always telling us these dirty stories because so so he's like in and out of prison his whole life and he's always talking about his girlfriend oh yeah man she's sexy she's fucking sexy she sends me she sends me her dirty panties she sends me pictures all this

stuff and we're like 17 like i said and he's living in a camper not on my dad's property but but on another piece of property that's adjacent to it kind of in the woods and i remember i had to go pay him one day so i drive on down there i walked down and he referred to himself by the way as the as the uh he said in prison they call me the pit bull dog i'll fuck a nigga up he's super racist, too. That's important. The pit bulldog. That's two kind of dogs. He's a very muscular guy.

Well, he started with one nickname, couldn't settle on it, kept going. Real muscular guy, by the way. Just real ripped. Not a giant man by any means. Maybe 5'10", 180 pounds. But it's all just muscle. There's no fat on this guy. So I go down to his camper and hit the side of it with my hand.

There's not really a door to knock on. And he comes out, and I dole out the money. And before I can leave, he gets out this cigar box. He's like, come here, I'll show you something. He gets out these panties and starts unfolding them. He says, what do you think of these? My arms are just going. I arms keep going i think i could jump rope with them and they look like they got shit stains but i was just like oh yeah man that's sexy

right there and he starts whipping out the polaroids of like this big woman wearing them kind of bent over and like looking back over his shoulder at him you know and they're polaroids and all right i was 17 but shit i was 17 and what 2004 or something like that like there's no excuse for a polaroid camera to be pressed dude so so i'm off-roading right this is like five years ago and um there's two guys in my club who were dating big women like fat chicks and uh neither of them were heavy one of them had like six pack abs but he was short the other one was just like a fine regular fairly good looking dude and they were just chubby chasers and I don't know we were somehow talking about girls or something like

maybe there was a table of them somewhere and one of the guys I'm with like a fourth person here is like, ah, yeah, no, she's too heavy. And, uh, they, they look at each other because I think they're both thinking she's too fat, but they're both thinner than our women. And, uh, Justin goes, yeah, he don't know. Do we, he doesn't know. And Sean's like, no, He don't know, do he? He doesn't know. And Sean's like, no. And Justin just keeps repeating it like, yeah. He don't know.

He doesn't know. And I still don't know. I don't know. I don't know either. Like, I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. She's too fat. And they're like, yeah.

He don't know. And that was like, I just sat there like stunned trying to figure out what I do. She goes in that diabetic coma and you hitting it hard. Yeah. I'm reverted. You don't need both feet to fuck right. It's just like, what is it about these big women that I'm missing out on? They're naturally greasy from all the oily food they're eating and the drippings and the au jus as it pours down their body after a long day of feasting so

you don't need any lubrication just get right in there wipe a little off them greasy titties and i get to go can you hit it harder or something is there some i mean are they are they warmer do they heat a bed well i imagine they gotta have like 16 inches of pipe before you can fuck a big woman too hard. Like, I feel like you really gotta be slamming before she's like, Ah, that kind of, whoa, slow down back there, that's too much. Because there's just so much cushion for the pushing that at some point, you're just fucking flab. It's like shooting an orca with a.22. It's like you're gonna hit it and penetrate,

but there's so much fat in between you and the goal that you're not bringing that beast down. Yeah, I imagine that many people who have fucked fat chicks are actually fucking, like, a sweaty fold between their thighs. They weren't that fat. Like, a sweaty fold. But you couldn't identify the genitals. On a fat chick, I bet you could fuck her belly button.

Anybody ever think about that? Because, like, the belly button cavity has to keep getting longer. You could totally fuck a fat chick, I bet you could fuck her belly button. Anybody ever think about that? Because the belly button cavity has to keep getting longer. Oh, yeah. You could totally fuck a fat chick in the belly button. Now, maybe that's what they knew. That's what they knew. It was belly button fucking. They don't know about that belly button fucking.

Hell no. We cracked the code. That's what those rappers are talking about when they talk about getting up in a bitch's guts. They're talking about belly button fucking. That's what's up what's up oh shit this is a whole new level of sex i've not even told us wings should have filled us in about belly he should he's been holding out on us oh damn those guys are holding out you don't need to wear protection well not no protection yeah what if you caught an stD from a bitch's belly button? He gets like a yeast infection or something.

I don't know. What would a belly button have? Lint. Yes. Some gross lint. Maybe there's a family of insects living down in there. If it's that deep of a cavity, anything could be in there. It'd come out the same way, you know, when like you snake a drain.

Like a big long thing. Yeah, yeah. Or maybe like, you know i i don't know maybe like you like grow a blackhead in your belly button that's like the that's the full diameter of the chamber until you've got like the biggest pustule ever to pop out of your belly button being big is like it would hurt yeah i don't think so i feel like you feel good get it out of there out of your belly button sure it would feel good to get a bunch of pus out of your belly. Where have we gone wrong? Where did this take a turn?

Can you imagine her, like, douching her belly button after a hard fucking? Like, dude, oh, god damn. Yes. Isn't that good? It's one of those buttons where it's no longer like a button, but it's just been pushed so much that it looks like a coffee filter that you, like, creased and are looking into. So a girl needs to pee after you have sex with her.

What does a belly button fucker do afterwards? It depends how he pees. Some guys like to fuck that belly button and then get in there and lick the belly button. Lick your belly button, bitch. Yeah, I'm going to eat that. That would make me so ticklish. That's an awful image.

Maybe if your partner is fat, like it's a fat guy, maybe he fills the belly button up with frosting or something, and that's a bit of the foreplay. He's down there licking the frosting out and squeezing it like a go-gurt. Well, hell, that half sounds okay. He's trying to win me over if you did body shots with like tequila you'd be drinking like a six ounce glass of hard alcohol out of there just having to guzzle it down just that's you're gonna need that for

her afterward all that uh gross i can't believe i've never considered belly button fucking uh with it because i feel like with a big woman you know that's that's an option that has to be not oh that's a big woman that has to be so far let me see if I can find a porno of some belly button fucking I don't want to watch that I want to hear it I hope the guy's really vocal yeah lay on your back lay on your back. Lay on your back, baby. Oh, shit. Not only is this a thing, it's not like a snake blowjob where you find one grainy video. No, my friends. Let me find us a good belly button fucking video.

One with high ratings. Let's imagine. Let's just listen to it first and see if it sounds like what we think it's... It's going to sound like a guy wearing boots in a marsh where they're constantly getting stuck in the swamp and he has to like pull them back out wow can you make us a belly button fucking shirt where like maybe on the shirt where the belly button is physically you have like a an arrow or something i i don't know but here's your belly

button fucking do we want to queue up turn the the volume up, and enjoy? Oh, God. This is what we do for you people. Yeah, bitch. If you pause at zero. All right. Oh, my God. No, no. Stick with me.

Stick with me. No, no, no. Stick with me. If you pause at zero and you look at the look on this guy's face, it is the look of a normal human being would have if he were fucking a fat chick in the belly button. He is so ashamed. He is so ashamed. He is so ashamed. Oh, all right. Three, two, one, play.

Oh, you get right out of town. Going so deep. Oh, my God. It's working. Oh, that looks great. Oh, shit. Oh, he's really having sex with a belly button. Oh, that looks great! Oh, shit. Oh! He's really having sex with a belly button!

Aw, yeah! This is what we... Uh-huh. This is upsetting. Yeah. This is... you're not supposed to do that. You're not supposed to be able to do that. Ah, it's great.

This is epic. I can't believe I discovered a new thing. She could die at any minute. No fucking way. He could have two or three more inches of pipe. He'd be okay. I don't think so. I think he's bottoming out.

Nah, he's just taking it easy. He's going to start slamming that belly button toward the end. Oh, is there going to be a cum shot? Does there have to be? I hope he cream pies that belly button. My wife is going to bring me coffee in a minute. Oh, she needs to see this. She's got to.

You know what would flatter her figure is a cape. Don't compare my wife to this fucking... She is three times the woman that Jackie is. I'd say four times. Motherfucker comes with an extra hole. I mean...

That's beneficial. Especially if there's, what, four guys? Oh, get it. You could DP that belly button. You could quad P. Oh, the belly button. We're going in there double belly button penetration. I was going to say, there's

two orifices down below and one that she's talking out of. There's just so much I'll give you a belly button, baby. Look at the stomach he's holding onto. He's got a handful of belly fat. Who shaved that pussy? Because she did not.

No, that's not even it. That's just a random full I don't see it. Yeah there should be hair where there is not oh god mom I'm sorry Kyle linked it fucking awesome lame Kyle mom she looks like she looks like you shot her with a melting ray gun and stopped like a third of the way through doing oh I hear my wife walking up the steps looks like he's fucking on what do you leave it on please please I want to I want to see this react I'm turning away from this video can I just say I need to see what oh did he go soft no no he's good she's putting him back in she had to like

readjust him she reached down and she's giving him a bit of a he's having sex with her belly button look at me Yeah, he's got... Oh, he's really going to town on it now. He's thrusting with... He's got a titty in his right hand, he's got a big handful of belly in the left. And she's loving it. She's looking at him like, this is gonna be the father of my bellybutton babies. This is the man that I want in my life. Oh, here it is. The grand finale.

Oh, he's gonna cream pie the belly button. I bet you wish you could fuck me. No. No. You just have to wait. I'm gonna find me a belly button cream pie. Oh, and she waves away at the end coyly. Like we didn't just

watch your giant belly button fuck for six minutes. That's horrific. What an awful genre. Oh, I've got another video. Come on. This one's called belly button smothering. You smother him with a fat lady's belly button,

and he, like, tongues it and stuff. I think this is like a once you've seen one, you've seen them all. But he's tonguing it. What about if the chick's tied up and she gets punched in the belly? Tell me more about this belly. Actually, it looks very violent. I'm not sure if I like this. I'm pretty sure this is just a woman being beaten.

There's a black dot in my coffee. That's just a grain of coffee. Nothing wrong with that. As long as it doesn't have wings. It could be 100% food. Well, that's a new porno genre or act at least doesn't have wings. It could be 100% food. Well, that's a new porno genre or act at least that I have discovered. I'm very proud of myself because I swear to God, it's not like I stumbled upon belly button porn yesterday and I had this whole setup for it.

I just imagined that belly button fucking could be a thing with a fat lady and sure enough. I learned a new sexual position yesterday. I thought I had known them all. Is it's called the taxpayer i saw that one too uh it's called the amazon are you familiar with the amazon no i'm not i might be but just not that name yeah right i it similar type thing i uh just not by the name here look, look it up. Okay. I'll see if I can find one. Oh, I'm still watching this guy beat this one.

Dude, there's dudes all over my Pornhub. Click the wrong box. I don't know what the scoop is. This is not normal Pornhub. They're guys in tight underwear with bananas sticking out of them. Wait, bananas sticking out of their ass or their crotch? Yeah, here, I'll link it for you. Peeled or unpeeled?

This is what the side of my pornhub looks like. I will share it with everybody else. He's got nice obliques. This is what the edge of my pornhub looks like. There's a dude with a banana sticking. What is this an advertisement for? Potassium? That's an ad for cock.

All right. Hilarious. I'm going to find more videos like this. There's got to be some. Here. I'm going to turn my volume down volume down but no joke this to me was i won't call it a new position but the idea of like this sort of female dominance amazon thing let's queue up at zero or one and oh i see all right you queue up at one or zero? Are you there? Wait, wait. At what time?

The start. Okay. Yeah, I'm at zero. All right. Ready, set, play. Yeah. So basically, the guy seems to be in this missionary thing. Yeah.

And she's on top doing the guy movement, but it works. I feel like... I've seen this this before but I've never heard it called that it's called the Amazon and I guess it's this sort of woman dominant variety I wish I could describe it a little better but okay so so the woman is in the guy's guard he's on his back he's got his legs pulled back in the air like she's gonna do something with his butt but instead she has mounted him and uh she's pumping him like i'm like a man would hump a woman in missionary position it's very confusing at around 37 well she's gonna she's gonna switch and look now she's in the amazon

nice well that's interesting yeah that's something it's much better than the last video these the people are attractive in this what. What if this guy was like, Alright bitch, lay on your back, I'm gonna fuck that belly button. He just went and fucked her belly button. Ah, that's great! I can't believe belly button fucking is a thing. I can. See, the thing that you have to do now is just add more qualifying porn words to it until it ceases to exist. And then by the third luck with that someone will

invent let's not add like midget in the mix midget belly button things like that belly button fucking and cot sucking uh belly button fuck some of these chicks are thin but they're just they're really getting that they're going at it um i'm looking for i'm not into that though i want how is that possible in belly button fucking and that's what you're not into yeah no I was like I don't screw that I need myself a big mama well if you look right here you see they don't know going deep like he he is I'm so worried I'm gonna like stream some of this oh that's a I can't even see the woman yet but just by the stretch marks you know oh now I'm getting a great see I didn't see see the woman yet, but just by the stretch marks, you know. Oh, now I'm getting a great.

See, I didn't see enough of her to really know what was happening in the scope of this thing. Now I do. You need to get those bones looked at. That looked like a butt at first. She is on her back with a butt looking thing on her belly. Oh, yeah. There has to be like a, this is like a movie where they start zoomed in really close on something and it's not until like three minutes in when it's zoomed out enough that you know what you're looking at. This is horrific.

This is worse than the last one. He's going deep. He is balls deep on this belly button. That's disgusting. Here's a gif. Oh, that's great yeah yeah this woman is she's big but the kind of big you would see every day yeah but she's got a got a real homer belly oh this i'm gonna add this to the groups that uh my organization defends that the belly button fuckers when i when i call these local yeah i'm gonna add that to the furries and the the zoo files and and all the rest no no offense to the

furries again sorry there's like eight furries out there and one transgendered person and they get real offended if we say they're all something about furries makes me guess that they're all kind of kind-hearted right yeah it feels like uh maybe because it's a little childlike maybe in a way and there's no victims to it right there's no victims to it right like if you're a nambla or something then one of these people is a kid you know the audience the north american man boy love association which supports man boy love love. Older men fucking young boys. Yeah. Mambla. Or Nambla. Then something's wrong with that.

If you're into bestiality... What if you're into receiving? I feel like if you're receiving the... That's different. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Because you're not forcing like a chihuahua.

You know, you can get exempt from Turkish military service if you provide a photographic evidence of your homosexuality but it only counts if you're receiving I think we mentioned that recently that's awesome in a decision to make at that point like are they cool with it like when you show the picture of you being totally gay and you're like I can't join sorry really gay over here are they just like all right on your way then gay guy or are they like oh totally gay and you're like, I can't join, sorry, really gay over here. Are they just like, alright, on your way then, gay guy. Or are they like, oh, okay, well now you're punished for being gay.

I think you're just exempt. And I feel like you could get yourself a hyper-realistic dildo, get a little shot of you enjoying that bad boy and get right out of being killed by ISIS somewhere and having your balls cut out or something awful. I feel like, you know,

for $150 I could get the right Photoshopper to handle this for me. Would you be willing to help a lot of other guys out for $150 a pop? Get on it! Anti-war wizard. Yeah. That's a real pacifist

if you're the guy serving the dick up for anyone who wants out. That's an interesting job you would have like on the wire there's a guy who's called the piss bank he's the guy who's like going to the daycare and getting the clean piss so all these uh guys on probation can pass their uh their drug tests that's a whole new he gets kind of service in like 60 years just like world war ii where now they have the documentaries where like the guy comes out and it's like you know Mr. Silverberg you saved over 60

Jews in the Holocaust and these are their families and they all stand up and they're applauding and everything that would be Woody like 60 years from now where you're sitting in some area with a cane and there's a bunch of Turkish gay guys around you and it's like Woody do you realize who all these gentlemen are? You saved over 3,000

young men's lives from your actions. That's nothing. I spilled like a trillion of them in the process. These are just the guys that I charged. No, I meant the unborn. That's awful.

Well, I'm all... I'm full up on belly button videos for a while. All right. Well, let me tell everyone about ring.com because I'm pretty, I'm full up on belly button videos for a while. All right. Well, let me tell everyone about ring.com because I'm pretty interested in it. Before I tell you about it. Shoot your own videos. This is the thing here.

So this is a new sponsor we've got. It's a video doorbell. And the idea is that if someone's going to break into your house, the first thing they're going to do is case the joint. And the way you're going to do that and make it easy is just ring your doorbell. If you come to the door, then they might say something like, oh, is this Joe's house? And you say no, and they leave. But if you don't come to the door, maybe they go around, back smash a window in and rob you. But with this, even if you're away, you know, you could be in Japan, someone rings your doorbell and it calls your phone. You pick up your phone and you can see what's going on. I think it's great to let people

reach you in any circumstance, but also it's a good way to protect your home from possibly being... I also like the home alone style pranking ability that this can provide for you. Like, I know it's for security, but there have to be a lot of fun things you can do with this for spying purposes. Yes, I thought about that. Like, maybe you have a babysitter at your house watching the kid you think she's being a real cunt to the kid slap

this baby on there by a teddy bear as they do and you can watch while you're out to dinner i you know what i like just not getting the door like if someone rings the doorbell a lot of times for me most of the time it's a delivery person it's like UPS, they just ring it and leave. The guy that brings our milk will just ring it and leave, whatever. With this, I don't have to get to the door. Like, I can just see what got dropped off and decide whether I need to go there now or later. Yeah, and maybe you've got a perfectly fine babysitter, but you just want to see her naked. See, Ring's advanced motion detection alerts you even if someone doesn't ring the doorbell.

So you could just, you could just set this thing up in the bathroom, tell her it's an intercom, don't worry about it. You can hook up straight to your phone, you'll be able to see what's going on in there. Make sure she's not stealing any toilet paper or anything. Or whatever else you want to see. If you like having a neighbor keep an eye on your home 24-7 without any judgment,

this is great. Installing the video doorbell takes minutes and it works with either your current wiring or built-in rechargeable battery. It puts your mind at ease, and you can protect your home with the Video Doorbell. Time Magazine and USA Today named it one of their top ten gadgets. Our listeners get free expedited FedEx shipping when you go to ring.com slash pka. That's ring.com slash pka.

So, yeah, check them out. There's a link in the description. Very cool little product. I think there's a lot of uses that go beyond its intended use, but as a video doorbell, as a door answering thing, when you're out of the house, it's awesome. I actually really want this. Yeah, I'm going to... So it's...

I just got mine. I'm going to hook this up tomorrow. It can use your existing wiring. I'm just looking at it, trying to hook this up tomorrow. It can use your existing wiring. I'm just looking at it, trying to figure this thing out. This is what it looks like. I got this, like, Venetian oiled bronze thing, which is ours. It has a... It looks like you install the backing here, and there's some wiring that goes with it.

And then this thing will mount to it. And USB for software updates. It comes with all the tools you need like you need to pre-build the drill pre-drill the holes it comes with this little it looks like a mason bit to me but you don't need to i think you know you can use the interchangeable batteries and just stick it up there or you can really install it uh and integrate it into your current doorbell if you have one and it it seems to be fairly easy, pretty straightforward installation. Right, yeah, like you said, you can just, you can install it super easy or incorporate it. I want to replace my doorbell with it and set this shit up. This is probably the handle to the screwdriver. It comes with the tools. And you're just good to go. So,

anyway, one of our coolest sponsors. Ring.com slash PKA. Check them out. Get that free shipping. Very neat. Get your mind at ease while you're away. Spy on your babysitter. So many great spy opportunities.

Yeah. Maybe you catch somebody doing some belly button fucking with Ring.com. I'd say this is just as valuable as a spy piece of equipment as it is like a door knob, not door knob, fucking doorbell accessory. Oh, and I think it's got, let me confirm, I'm like 90% sure it has like infrared so it can see at night. Dual power certified. I'm not seeing that. I thought it did though. Yeah, it does.

Night vision. See what's going on anytime day or night thanks to infrared LED. So yeah, it's perfect. That's all the better for, I won't even say it. I was going to say

for filming people that didn't know they were being filmed. Yeah. Being a bit voyeuristic. Just watching. Yeah. I don't think you'd be able to discern belly button fucking on one of those cameras.

It'd just look like a big hot mass of wriggling tentacles. Not sure what the resolution is. I guess it depends how close you are to the act. Some of those girls were so big you could mount this thing to them. They wouldn't notice. Jesus Christ. That's that's a great thing

I wanted to get some kind of an STD from that light like if she could get it I know that a guy could totally like in some kind of weird scenario where there was Stuff in there, but I wonder if she could get something from the belly button fucking like if I've got syphilis And I fuck your belly button do you get the syphilis? I don't really know what's in the bottom of my belly button if i'm being 100% honest hole that it seems like your belly button would hold moisture if it was that deep so you probably could get some sort of culture yes some sort of culture going in there real petri dish funguses molds god knows what if you weren't willing to have your belly button fucked, would that be a rape culture? Oh, yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

This thing's pretty cool. That's funny. Yeah, that's funny. I'm all excited about this. Does that count as rape? Like, if you go to court and he fucked my belly button forcibly. That's forcibly. Does that hold up?

Is that truly penetration? If someone is very skinny, I'd say they just go, you get right out of town. There's nothing to do there. What if he's got a micro-penis? Oh, okay, well, touche, maybe. You're saying if I just put the tip into your belly button, that doesn't count as belly button

fucking? No, it would be rape, because if someone came up to you and just popped the tip of their dick in your ear or something while you were eating at Subway, you'd feel very violated. You'd feel violated, it would be rape because if someone came up to you and just like pop the tip of their dick in your ear or something While you were eating at Subway you'd feel very violated. You'd feel violated, but would you have been raped? You'd be sexually assaulted, but raped? I'd be shocked if their tiny auntie'd her like penis first of all. Well, then maybe they're just like mushing it up against the side of your ear. Well, that's kind of funny. Not when you're the guy sitting there trying to enjoy a sweet onion chicken teriyaki sandwich. Get out of here, ear fucker! I'm trying to enjoy my cold cut!

You swat him off like a bee. God damn it, Jared! I thought they locked you up! Ear fucking. I've heard of ear fucking, but it just doesn't make any sense. I've never seen an ear big enough for any penis I've ever seen, and I've never seen a penis small enough for any ear that I've ever seen. I can back that up, and I've seen a lot of cock. We've talked about this before. So much cock. So much cock. I bet Taylor's seen a lot of cock, too.

Taylor, you've played on a bunch of teams and such. That's just part of playing on any sports team, or team-based sports team, I guess. I don't know about wrestlers, if they're back there showering together after meets. I just feel like the number of years i put in you know with all my swimming and beer league hockey and such i did i don't just been a lot of cock it becomes a non-issue where it's just i'm always curious you're you're always yeah yeah i have seen the elusive gigantic

asian cock just saying you have that i mean you really got to see a lot of penises before you see the elusive gigantic Asian cock. Just saying. You have. You've really got to see a lot of penises before you see a giant Asian one. Yeah, I would imagine so. That does seem to be a rarity. It's a thing. I didn't play hockey with any Asian guys. What's that? I didn't play hockey with any Asian

fellows. I did, and he was better at hockey than me, and he had a bigger cock. I imagine. And he was better at hockey than me. And he had a bigger cock. I imagine. 0 for 2. For some reason I'm imagining him like a. I hope he's a fan of the show. He'll be like fuck yeah.

I imagine him dressed as like a ninjutsu warrior. Like high sticking like a fucking samurai out there or something. Well he was American. He was just you know a. Yeah it's in his blood. Maybe I forget. He's got the sword I'm sure. They're like ninja turtles., a Korean descent, maybe? I forget. He's got the sword, I'm sure. They're like Ninja Turtles.

When they're born, they get given those weapons. They're passed down. Like Jew gold. Jesus Christ. Ear fucking, definitely not possible. But back to the topicear fuck that be now what if what is salt Kyle can you find an eye fucking video like maybe yes or woman I had an accident you want a woman with no I let you know what one I one I I

needed to see what's happening wings redemption would put send me to Bing dot-com right now. I sock it fucking. Alright, so a lot of this is blurred out. That's a good thing. So let's turn that off. Man fucks woman's eye socket. Right here it is. Let's not watch this. Oh. Yeah, mom. I'm totally with Taylor.

I don't want to see this at all. I sock it fucking. Alright, so I'm playing the video. I'm going to confirm that there is indeed some legit I suck at fucking. Yeah, don't send us on a goose chase. You don't want to disappoint us. We need to stay focused here. Wow. And then in the related videos, here's a woman getting drilled by a dog.

Wow, that's on Bing. That's on Bing. That's on Bing. Wings, he nailed it with that Bing thing. That's on Bing. That's on Bing. Wings was, he nailed it with that Bing thing. Yeah, that's like their in. Like Google sits there and filters results and really approved about it. But Bing, that's your porn search. Yeah.

Bing was so far back in that race that they had to do something wacky. They nailed it. Dude, porn, I mean, everyone here knows, but like it's led technology advances all over the place. That's why the VCR got big. That's probably why the internet got big. They tend to perpetually be a step ahead in all sorts of streaming technologies.

If I were YouTube, I'd be looking at what porn does for my next idea. Oh, here's a woman. You know how you can get your ears gauged? Oh, no. I, here's a woman. You know how you can get your ears gauged? Oh, no. I see where he's headed. Here's a woman with a gauged ear getting ear fucked.

Nah, that won't do. We said eyes. Absolutely. Yeah, let's stay on mission, Kyle. Stay on mission. I don't want to watch something like that just because even when I see those people walking around with those giant ear lobes

and there's not a dick in them, I'm still thinking like all it takes is one just spry branch on the path and your ear is torn open or just some hooligan one guy to come up and go and then just bust it in half i hate it i've seen we i forget that jizz and i were looking at it for some night. People who've had corrective surgery on large gauges, they fix that surprisingly well. You would think that ear is mutilated and just ruined. Just like hair plugs, though,

they went through a lot of shitty ones before they got it good. I've looked up pictures of that same operation where it just looked like they cut off one end and then you're like, fuck it, and just coiled up the other end like a snake and just stapled it on there like it it's still a bad life decision don't do that for sure yeah one of the construction guys we have around uh it's nothing but he's got a little um like earring stud type thing through his lip right here just for people on audio only like above his chin but below his lower lip off to the side and uh like i i give him non-stop shit about it i don't even know him

i don't know his name i've never talked to him about any other topic but i'm like dude is that a piercing ah bro come on and then it's cold out so he's wearing like a bandana i'm like is that to hide the piercing is that what this is all about and he's like no it's cold out i'm like maybe the piercing gets really cold and like clacks on his teeth i'm like pull it up pull it up all i ever talked to him about is giving him shit about the piercing good you know maybe it hurt him at the time but maybe now he doesn't have it anymore he's moved past it and you it's like fat shaming you moved him in the right direction i hope so that's what i like you're looking at But maybe now he doesn't have it anymore. He's moved past it. It's like fat shaming. You moved him in the right direction.

I hope so. That's what I like to hear. Kyle, you're looking very... Yeah, Kyle, have you been emotionally damaged? He was fucking a decomposed human skull. And there was like green stuff coming out of the eye cavity. And you're not into this? It looked like wasabi. Was it realistic enough that you think that this was legit?

Yeah. It was a human skull he was fucking. I left that page behind. into this it looked like wasabi was it realistic enough that you think that this was real yeah it was a human skull he was fucking i left that page behind it was a disembodied decapitated human skull that was badly decomposed like three four weeks i don't know they heard it here first kyle's a bit of a prude this one that's like something we would have found on that run the gauntlet that you did that we all did a while back here's one where this one says it's a man fucking a woman's eye socket but when you try to skip forward in the video it just spins forever and like i don't want to watch nine minutes and 45 seconds of plot to get to the eye no there's a lot that you have to tuck in there for it to make sense i'm sure somebody sent me a website i think it was called best gore and in there for it to make sense, I'm sure. Somebody sent me a website. I think it was called Best Gore.

And they said it to me on Reddit. And they're like, if you thought the gauntlet was rough, this is really bad. This is horrific. That's where I found the skull fucking. Oh, really? And I was like, I think I'll just not click on this link. I don't. But it's not that I can't take it.

And I feel like if I remember the gauntlet, I was the only guy that ran the gauntlet. And a lot of them just didn't really get me. But some of them did. Some of them make a little withdrawal from your soul. Some of them make a big withdrawal from your soul that you don't realize until you're about three seconds too far into the video. And you're like, oh, this is something I'll wake up seeing for the next year.

The murder was rough. Towards the end, there was a guy getting murdered. Oh, the hammer one? Yeah. I think I finished the Run the Gauntlet too. Oh, did you? Yeah, that was the worst one. Yeah, I don't know if it was the last one or second to last,

but it was towards the end. They beat a guy with a hammer hammer and he wasn't dead yet. And he was suffering. He's trying to talk. And as you're watching it unfold, because it took a while, I kept thinking like, well, this can still be reversed. You know, okay, he's been stabbed in the belly with a screwdriver and that's horrific. But he can live a normal life. Now there's like 11 stabs.

Colostomy bag. Like, you know, what happens if they stop now? What kind of life can he have? All right, now his face is disfigured, but he's alive. You know, his jaw's moving. He's breathing through his blood. And it just got worse and worse until you're like, just kill this man. Like, it would be an act of kindness at this point for you to just step up your game and end his life because his life is going to end

either fast or slow let's make it fast and as you watch him progress to that um it's a little soft withdrawal yeah it's terrible absolutely awful i didn't i don't i don't like that at all no yeah i that stuff is so much worse than anything else like when we were doing that running the gauntlet thing every time a video would come up and it was like some dude just like gargling you know horse pee and then eating a bunch of cow turds it was like oh thank god all right you know you do your thing like oh look at that guy like what a goof but then like the next one anyone with people dying i don't like that one where the guy like what a goof but then like the next one anyone with people dying i don't like that one where the dude like fell into the train subway station or whatever and

like the as he was trying to get out yeah and the train hit him and instead of just like i always picture that it would just be like a knife almost just like and just cut him in half but no it like caught him and then just spins him like a top, like 20 yards down the way until he's just like, you can't even tell if there's legs on the bottom of him anymore. Was that the night we watched that woman snort the cum? I don't remember. Do you remember that video though? Oh, of course.

Yeah, I remember that. The roughest part about that one was how much she hated it. If she was really into cum snorting and it would just be like ah it's not my cup of tea but you go girl but no she wished she wasn't there yeah she's only into it for like 700 the vibe i got from her was that she's in some life situation that made her feel like she had no other option but to make this video. And she hates herself. She hates this job.

She hates this act. She's revolted by it. And I'm revolted by it. And it's this pity of disgust and sympathy that makes the whole thing a soul drag. I don't even know about that, though, because she didn't have to go full bore into that world to something that crazy.

It's not like, oh, my God, the rent's late. Should I sleep with someone? Tee hee. No, I'll just snort six ounces of cum and wait until January. I feel like you're coming at it rationally, and she might not have, right? There's always the, like, why didn't she get a job at McDonald's? You know, maybe in her head, she's like,

no, I need this money by tomorrow. Not right above that. I need this money by tomorrow. The rent is due. The people are violent. Whatever, you know, like I'm in some situation and the $800 I'd get from a normal porn video won't cut it

I need two grand right now or something bad I don't know what the scenario is but I got the vibe she didn't want to do that and well I got that vibe too and maybe that is the case but you also have to consider the possibility that

that's just what they're going for because I noticed with a lot of that Japanese porn it's all about the girl not enjoying it or being raped in some sort of way. That is weird, isn't it? They often have the invisible man porn that I showed you guys where these Japanese men are wearing a full body, white, tight suit. I don't know how else to describe it. It clings to your body. And the idea is that they're invisible. You're supposed to use your imagination.

And so they're being fucked. These women are being fucked by imaginary men and so they're just going about their day taking the imaginary dicks and stuff the whole point of a lot of that japanese porn seems to be raping a teenage girl or watching her get raped by tentacles and it's always like no, no! And then like the tentacles get like deep double penetrator and then she's like, ooh! I thought the tentacle thing that they did was because they weren't allowed to show penises. Well, in the animated stuff, I think maybe they had

I don't know. I don't see very many live action tentacle fucks. Well, it's hard to get an octopus to comply. I've definitely seen I've seen eel's hard to get an octopus to comply you'd be i've definitely seen i've seen eel fucking where they you know they get like a live eel and they're fucking themselves with it or a snake or something like that or i've seen where they'll put like um lots of frogs in the lady's ass like lots of frogs okay and they just all come climbing out uh getting out of her

ass um the chicken thing to me was the most surprisingly natural one like i don't want to say having sex with a chicken is natural and people have heard me say this a million times but chickens are built for rape if you think about the size of an egg yeah chickens are totally down with human-sized penises they do it daily maybe you could like make those eggs better somehow by doing that maybe you're fertilizing probably not probably not hey i don't know i i know a little bit about bird law and i think that it would be okay to to inseminate a chicken in hopes of making some sort of genetically superior uh giant human chicken egg as long as it doesn't involve any forced cloacal insertion. Bird Act 1974.

That of course is when the penis and the vagene are combined into one orifice. No, it's when the butthole and the vagina are combined into one. Isn't that what I said? You said penis and vagina. That would be a feat. Yeah, I meant asshole and vagina. Fucking Bubba ruined it for all of us

in 1974. He did, yeah. asshole and vagina yeah i just fucking bubba ruined it for all of us in 1974 he did yeah big chicken lobbying anyway yeah let's whole new topic anything anything else in this horrible grizzly specter like to link us kyle or are we done with this well you seem to be over the belly button fucking and i watched that 10 minute video that was called Girl Gets Her Eye Socket Fucked. And it's just some chick.

It's the classic girl being taken advantage of by man in power scenario where he comes from behind the desk, undresses her, and she blows him and he fucks her. There was no eye penetration whatsoever. Did she have both eyes? She had them both. Oh my god. Right away you knew it wasn't going to be good

No no no I thought at some point she was going to pop one out And you were like aww shit And you were going to be like wow here's the eyesight And then another guy was going to come in and she was going to pop the other one out And blow my mind And they were just going to be like Double eye fucking her like she was blind the whole time Dare to dream

Like Book of Eli you know that twist like oh Blind the whole time I would like that now that's the point that should be made she's using her normal holes the whole time but at the end of the movie it's time for the big gang bang and there's one guy for mouth one for her butt one for her vagina

what are we talking about there's another guy for her belly button hole but then two more dudes show up and everybody's like looking around like what are we gonna do and she pops the eyeballs out man she like moves them both up and she's like bring it on and you're but it but the thing is it's not a big twist at the end because the whole time they've been ill-fitting awful looking glass eyes looking lazily at nothing one's bigger than the other as they're making bad eye fucking puns yeah. Now you guys are just talking about that poor guy from Fine Brothers.

I had... Well, you want the two guys fucking the eyes to be able to see each other. I didn't make that connection at all. He has weird eyes. He's got a lazy eye. They're a little bit wide. It's caused by... It's like the...

It's Hay-Arnold Syndrome. It's like the... It's caused becauseArnold Syndrome. It's like the... It's caused because the body can only fit greed in that one area. And so if you're a really greedy person, you have to pile lots of it in there. And it causes a little bit of spacer. Philly D will never come on our show again. No. So it's caused by the muscles that are attached to your eye that actually control your eye looking around.

One side's just a little tight, so your eye's a little off kilter. You can get a surgery for that, and he totally should. He could fix it. They're not bad enough to warrant surgery, though. I think they are. I think they are. Okay, so they're not that bad for day-to-day life

if you're going to be on the internet all the time. My mom had the same thing that that guy has. It was just slightly off, and most of the time like she would correct it by just maybe like what you used to do what you know forcing your eyes apart in some way but when she would get very tired or when she'd lose her fucking shit and start screaming at me that's great this one would start looking a little bit in and so she had a surgery to like bring it back out yeah yeah it was always so funny though you could tell when she was losing shit is that that i would start looking a little bit too far oh shit she's put it back together mom put them together get it that means she's

redlining can't take much more uh this is probably a horrible... Oh, go on. Have you looked into your availability in the coming week slash weeks to go to Wings of Redemption's house and do a super in-person PKA? Yes, I'm waiting for the last shoe to drop, so to speak, so I can be 100% sure, but first week in March is...

If it's going to work, that's when I'm going to get it to work. Okay, that works for me. Yeah. Either for... Or let me ask that guy maybe. And I'll ping Wings. Yeah, I don't know. We're getting close to a Woody Craft thing.

Yeah, it was like February all this time. Now we're into March and spring break and some critical weeks for me. Well, we'll hammer it out at another time. But I just want to let the audience know that those things are all still clicking along the hot sauce is dependent upon the in-person show and so all that's like maybe we can decouple the hot sauce from the in-person show thanks though just use the mail like it can't be that expensive to ship hot sauce oh yeah well i mean it's it's so the reason it's expensive is because um i i'm gonna get four or

five samples but the question is do i send four copies of four or five samples to four different locations because when i do that the shipping slash cost of the samples comes to almost 110 dollars or something um and it just seemed like a lot of money to spend on something that could be accomplished i see because there's like four flavors and then there like a lot of money to spend on something that could be accomplished by just being one cent. I see. Because there's like four flavors and then there's a bunch of us and then you start taking four flavors. That's 16 and then you're shipping them all over. And they have to ship them to me first which I have to pay for as well. I'm willing to do it but I just thought that if we could get all these things going at once. I like

doing that. I like getting lots of things done in one go you know if i'm going to be going to town during the day i'm like all right let's find everything that i can do while i'm there so i just kind of had a similar i like that too i just worry that this is becoming like a single point of failure you know like like so i guess because of taylor we push this thing off to march and then maybe because of woody we push it off until like late march and then i can see a universe where i'm like all right i become available on like march 21st and taylor says ah well now that's not good for me anymore you know let's talk april and like this just okay i'm trying to work around that weekend of the first weekend in March of the 5th and the 6th but

it won't work he's got an event that weekend alright so I'll just drive up there and get those pictures and get the hot sauce expedited go ahead and get that rolling and happening what about that week of the 7th through the 11th in March those are all weekdays, do weekdays work better for you right Woody? yeah I need to go. We'll hammer it out later.

Yeah, I don't want to tell the whole world what we've got cooking at WoodyCraft, but, you know. Of course not. Yeah, I understand. Yeah, we'll figure it out later. But, yeah, I'll go ahead and do the photographs for the hot sauce ASAP. Like, I'll talk to Wings tomorrow, and maybe I'll go this weekend or something

and get those done, and then we'll go this weekend or something and get those done. And then we'll make the in-person thing its own trip and do it that way. Okay. That would be a lot of fun to hang out. I want to go out to eat with you guys a number of times just to hopefully a good experience, also hopefully a really bad experience.

I'm just hoping I yell at a waitress. This is what happens. This is what happens. I'll be completely yell at a waitress this is what happens this is what happens i'll be completely wonderful to a waitress and they're all like he's doing it he's doing it and i'm not and i'm nothing but pleasing thank yous and and i need cheers here with me because this is what happens i need jackie here with me because jackie was like i'm on the phone with jackie the waitress comes over but i was on the phone before the waitress got there. It wasn't like I dissed her or something.

And oh, and by the way, I forget why, I felt like I had to talk to Jackie at that point. And so she's taking people's orders, and I ask, the normal back and forth with the waitress, when you order a steak dinner, is like, all right, I'd like a steak dinner is like you know like like all right i'd like uh you know filet medium rare and then she's like okay and she's looking at me and i'm like are there other questions like i'm expecting her to say sides or something like that and i'm i'm saying this nicely

you know like i'm like are there any other questions or just is everything else is like a standard um and and she's like well what would you like with your sides i'm like uh choices you know like what size do you have and they're acting like ah kyle's getting chis in here they're acting like i'm awful and i'm not and even my wife was on the phone like you weren't saying anything rough she wasn't there it's not she was on the call how you say it not what you say how you she heard it she's we communicate in so many ways it's not she was on the call you say it not what you say how you she heard it she says we communicate in so many ways it's the body language it's it's the it's it's how the words flow from your mouth there's a lot of ways to say a lot of things and i gotta say she's literally like i wrote i just wrote this to chiz i said woody woody is arguing that he's not rude to

wait staff again smiley face i need you ch you. Chiz. Laugh my ass off. Chiz replies. Absolutely rude. Hashtag endorsement. They're all cocksuckers. They, they just, they just, and this is what,

this is what happens. I can be the most wonderful angel in the world. And at this point, they're like, you know, he's doing it and I'm not doing anything. I'm nice. I'm really nice. And, but they just, they, they yearn for it to happen I'm not doing anything. I'm nice. I'm really nice. But they yearn for it to happen so much that no matter what I do,

I'm an awful person. I mean, you just drop a couple F-bombs loudly in a restaurant one night, and everybody's acting like you're a rude guy. I am going to give the next waiter the shirt off my back, and they'll be like, oh, Woody's trying to steal her tips. That's what's going to happen if we do go out to eat and there's bad service is Woody is going to be very

tactically polite like he's going to be almost a sickly sweet like trying to manipulate like oh thank you so much for refilling that water aren't you a deer like being very sweet no in front of me to make sure that next time this shit comes up I take his side.

You, Kyle, I know you don't really give that much of a shit on how you're perceived as being rude to people. So if something does go badly, I'm looking forward to seeing you being actually rude. All right, so here's what Chiz just wrote. Now what did Chiz write? He says, number one, the fuck to the manager in Chicago, which I just referenced. Number two, the survival trip looking at the waitress taking the order while on the phone with jackie and going anything else with a stern tone number three i'm pretty sure he threw a racial slur to one of the staff from the huddle house what slur was that chis our server at the huddle house was white our server at that huddle house didn't act like he was white he acted like he was a much lazier race name one i don't know what are the lazy races irish

he acted like do you remember how poor he was how bad that guy was that we were like he was terrible apparently the person who was supposed to do that job wasn't there yeah they were just like filling in and we were dealing with the b team and they were really bad at their jobs a janitor made our food it was fucking awful oh he says but if you recall leaving the amcs to watch chicago he threw a mini a slur in the car that's not even true yeah so the the first racial slur meant mentioned hashtag case closed kyle said what slur and she just wrote back that was a joke but if you recall leaving the amc after he threw in many slurs in the car racial slurs are not like a thing no he was talking about those annoying chicks oh kyle wrote that i'm a little confused the amc is this after the uh the Conor McGregor fight? I don't know.

We've been to some. Yeah, yeah. That's what we saw in Chicago. We watched Conor McGregor fight Mendes. I thought we watched two things there. Mad Max, but that was Boston, actually. We went there. Well, in any case, the truth is, in my opinion.

In any case, the truth is these cocksuckers lie all the time. All the time all the time none of this is true it's it's interesting that you feel that way because that means that you really don't see it yeah i can't out argue kyle but i do have the right on my side kyle's the establishment and he just whips up truths that aren't true oh Oh, Kyle's frozen. Oh, they're both frozen, which is odd because you know how sometimes I lose them both and I say, oh, this is my fault. My internet went down or something like that.

That did not happen. I run a ping constantly. This is just to Google. Yeah that's a Google IP address, I can share it. So this is a ping and you can see I haven't dropped any packets or anything. That IP address is Google's so don't think that I've shared anything crazy. Usually it'll say that the connection dropped or something. I don't know if I can shared anything crazy. But usually it'll say that the connection dropped or something.

I don't know if I can show you one. There, see that timeout? Chiz also said, there is justified dislike and rudeness towards waitstaff, and then there is the unjustified rudeness towards towards them through tone of voice and body language waitstaff asking you if you need anything during a story that sort of thing taylor are you there so i can only see myself as well can you see oh that was my fault i had to click on my camera Taylor

probably does too but the whole layout is a nightmare until he clicks his camera I like Josh he was fun having him on yeah good yeah yeah I liked him I'm glad to hear so were you two talking to each other that whole time Taylor and I yeah I maybe got like four words out. You know, I was just mocking you a bit more. That's all. Well, sadly. I think I was reading what Shiz wrote there or something like that.

Yeah. He says there's justified dislike for the staff and then there's unjustified through tone of voice and body language. See, this is what they do. They get these like, well, there's nothing. They're able to interpret human body language see this is what they do they they they get these like well there's nothing they're able to interpret human body language and tone i don't get it they're like well i can't quote anything he's ever done wrong but trust me if you saw the visual you'd agree with me that he's the spawn of satan and not the spawn of satan just talk down to them. That's all. No. That's how I see it. I've been there.

Yeah. I don't know if anyone in our PKA universe has had jobs as low as me, has ever lived in low-income housing above drug dealers that beat their wives. I started lower than anybody here. I win. And I don't haze waitstaff. I commiserate. I win. And I don't haze waitstaff. I commiserate.

I understand. No, you never purposefully go after them. However, it seems like my video just went away. I had to click my button again. Maybe you did too. I did the same. It's widescreen right now. And I don't see yours.

And mine isn't doing the thing. Let's restart the call. Sure. All right. This is just all the stuff we read. I want to own the call. It works better. Choose Josh. I think I'm in.

Okay. I thought that you actually walked away for a second. No? Are you guys there? You can't hear me? I can hear you. Your video, yours is fine. Kyle's is coming in fuzzy.

Well, if you or someone you love out there was a part of the wait staff that waited on Woody, then you might have some issues with fear anger stress anxiety depression sleeplessness well fear no more there's headspace.com hey kyle yes your audio is a little broken up right now it's not your fault of course i just didn't want to give the advertiser less than uh sure let me know when i'm when i'm sounding better am i am i sounding better now yes you are please all right restart please. Let me pull this back up. Yeah, if you were a member of some wait staff that may be waiting on Woody, then you might be suffering from fear, anger, stress, anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, any of those things.

But fear no more. There's Headspace.com. They begin in your head, but they can completely wreck your life, all these stressors and angry customers like Woody. But it doesn't have to be that way. You can make a major difference in just 10 minutes a day. This change comes from guided meditation with the new Headspace app. Headspace is meditation made simple. It's guided meditation that you listen to whenever you want, wherever you want,

right on your phone, computer, or tablet. Meditation is rooted in thousands of years of tradition with thousands of scientific studies that show its positive results, like improving focus, relationship harmony, and decreasing anxiety and stress levels caused by customers who feel they're part of some sort of aristocracy and look down upon you. Join over 5 million users already getting some Headspace for free right now. I like that. It's kind of a little bit of a double entendre, huh? Join over 5 million users already getting some Headspace for free right now.

Download the free Headspace app and begin their Take 10 program for 10 days of guided meditation at headspace.com slash pka. The Headspace Take 10 program is a 100% free way to experience the benefits of meditation in your busy modern life. Train your mind for a healthier, less stressed life. Start your free trial today at headspace.com slash pka. That's headspace.com slash pka. That's headspace.com slash pka. Anybody here meditate?

No, but they make it sound attractive. Sounds like I should, though. I had a girlfriend that did TM, Transcendental Meditation, and she felt like it helped out a lot with her daily stressors and concentration and staying on task and all that stuff. And Stern is a huge believer in it. He's been doing it since I think he was 17 or 18. He's like 60 something now, 62.

He always talks about some Maharaja or some motherfucker he met overseas that he trained under and all this stuff. I believe in meditation. There's nothing supernatural. It's not psychic. It's not that bullshit. It's a way that you can really

affect some change uh upon your own body using your mind yeah it's it's like i for me i can imagine it being a couple things like i don't know they had maybe it was just a really good ad read but i am genuinely in my heart thinking like dude i would like this you know i find a quiet room and just take a pause you know in everything and you know whatever you could play in your jay's objectives you could just think nothing you could clear your mind that's what your mind that's what she would always do she would try to think of nothing try to push i don't understand that because i've tried that before like just picture blackness and fall through it yeah but then you just are thinking about other shit

no I'm picturing the blackness I'm focusing completely on the black void and I'm falling through it that's what I would then in my head I always think like okay I'm looking at the blackness I'm seeing the blackness how much longer do I have to do this am I going to have to do this for another 15 minutes before I feel better will I feel better right away so you're thinking too much

see yeah you need the app it'll it'll teach you to focus on your breathing, teach you to take your time, teach you to get out of the moment, and I think it could help you so much. I would love it if... Would it play some chill music? Like, I feel like that could be part of it.

You've got to be focused on nothing. She used to sleep with these tapes that were like words of affirmation, too. It was like guided meditation to put you to sleep, and it was like happy thoughts. Words of affirmation. You're such a good sleeper. It was was like i can't remember what it would say but every

night before bed you know you that would that's what we go to sleep to the to this voice going you were in control of all like something like all those stressors you're not in control of those wash away wash away and it's just like this just nice words of affirmation putting you to sleep you know they've got a i don't mean to be all about the ad but i want to watch this do you guys want to watch the video yeah i'll check it out all right we'll watch it together here's the url and then you need to click the how it works animation and then pause it at zero right away. Watch our how it works animation. Yep.

All right. So, Taylor, you ready? I am good to go. Ready, set, play. Say hello to Headspace. Think of it like a gym membership for the mind. Using proven meditation and mindfulness techniques, we'll show you how to train your mind for a healthier, happier, more enjoyable life. Now you can get Headspace on your phone or on your computer.

Just open up the app or visit the site in your browser and follow the simple instructions to get going. The best place to start is with Take 10. It's a free 10-day program where you can learn the basics of meditation in just 10 minutes a day. If you enjoy Take 10 and want to learn more, then it's time to subscribe. When you do, you'll get access to hundreds of hours of original Headspace content, including guided and unguided exercises from 2 minutes to an hour. That's a whole lot of mindfulness.

If there's a particular area you'd like to focus on, whether that's health, performance or relationships, we've got you covered with our special series collections. Or, if you prefer, you can dip in and out with our Headspace singles. They're great for one-off meditations or learning how to apply mindfulness to everyday activities. There's also our SOS sessions sessions made up of truly bite-sized meditations to help you in those meltdown moments. You can track your

progress and stats, buddy up with friends and if you manage to meditate several days in a row you'll even get rewarded with bonus gifts. Oh and by the way if you do buy a subscription as part of our Get Some Give Some program we'll match it by donating a subscription to someone in need so why not get started today who knows maybe if you treat your head right everything else will follow it didn't tell me what i wanted to know no but i liked the upbeat looking cartoons but i really wanted to know what was in the app i guess you have to do the trial i don't know if it's designed that way or like they're like hey here's one that is cooking

based and here's one that's relationship based and i'm just like you didn't fuck up the eggs she's the one who's wrong she's cheating on you and you know it I want to know what the fuck this thing is in my head dude there's a series of YouTube videos and I'm going to mess it up is it AWS or AVE or like you guys don't know this

it's a kind of like tranquil sort of walk you through it oh I know what you're referring to but I don't know the name. Is it AWS? Not likely. I wonder what it is. I wish someone would tell me more about it.

There's like, basically people just kind of chill and in a soothing way describe something to guide your imagination in a certain way. I think I have this right. They actually, I found it when, I don't know if we're the biggest Patreon thing, nevermind that like thousands goes in fraud every month, but thanks for dealing with that Patreon. But one of the ones that was bigger than us or promoted or something by Patreon was these AWS videos. And every time she got some certain amount of money, she'd release another one. And I was like, huh, well, what is this all about that people are giving this money toward? And it wasn't a skill set I had, but I listened to her video

and I was like, I could see watching these you know you just kind of like relax while she tells you what to think or tells you i don't know what you're talking so is it like imagine you're sitting on the beach and there's a pelican that lands at your feet the sand is hot and fine between your toes imagine Imagine the pelican catching a fish or a starfish floating on the beach. Is it shit like that? Not far from that, but hers was

a little less... Imagine that you fulfilled your dad's expectations. Imagine he doesn't see you as a loser. Really negative, pinpointed things. Kathy never thought you were good enough. And you knew you weren't either. You sick piece of shit. Get your life sorted out.

Shit. That'd be a good app for you, Kyle. I could picture you as the spokesman for a brutally honest anxiety thing where it's like you're telling people things they don't want to hear but they need to hear. She's not into you. You're just not good enough. I mean, fuck, you bought this tape.

What's wrong with you? Jesus fucking Christ. Didn't you realize it was a scam when I put lol at the end of my tweet? You paid for this shit? You signed up for the monthly service, didn't you realize it was a scam when I put lol at the end of my tweet? You pay for this shit? You signed up for the monthly service, didn't you? Did you buy Sleeping With Woody as well? It's just a guy snoring. I want you to go walk into your bathroom.

Go find a full-length mirror and you just look at yourself. You just look at yourself and those feelings that you feel. Not pretty, is it? No. That's the kind of dumb fuck who bought this take the razor people can gift it to each other whenever there are products where you have like a voice you know coming back at you for example voice uh navigation systems you know turn left at the uh at the

roundabout i always think that it would be funny to have, like, a ghetto version. I want, like, a ghetto woman, like, giving me my navigation directions and stuff. Like, uh-uh, sugar, you don't went too far. You know, just being really ghetto the whole time. I think that would be hilarious. I wish that that should be a thing. If you get closer, instead of her just notifying you Like 1,000 feet, 500 feet

She could just step up her anger level You know like 1,000, 500 100 feet Slow down motherfucker Damn it's 25 You're going 40 You're moving too quick I don't know how far we are

You program it to take you to the interstate But halfway there it's like slow down sugar This is Ray Ray's. They got the best barbecue in Texas. And you're like, oh shit, alright. Ray Ray's. You know, maybe it gives you some like ghetto pointers for like when you're traveling. Like it warns you about dangerous neighborhoods and stuff.

It has a pigment scanner for your fingers. Like, you should not be where you are right now. Uh-uh, cracker, get your ass out! Yeah. They're gonna hang you from the lamppost, boy. You look like Casper. They make celebrity versions

where you can get Sean Connery or some motherfucker to give you your directions. I'd be into that. Wanda Sykes, I think, would be a good one to do what I'm describing. She probably would be very funny with that. Yeah, I'd like Wanda Sykes to be my navigation person. She'd be funny. Who else would be good, do you think, to be the voice

of your nav system? Someone with a very iconic voice. I don't know. I'd listen to Steve Buscemi. Who's the black guy that did Darth Vader? James Earl Jones? James Earl Jones. That's a little ominous. I'm going to Dunkin' Donuts, not fighting the dark side. I feel like Sean Connery's a bit much with that Scottish thing like that's a little too iconic I'm getting I'm getting lost in his voice I'm

not I'm not getting where I'm going about like Rick from Rick and Morty oh I would hate that in character you're gonna want to you're to want to take it right here, Morty. It's the burping. Like what Taylor did. What Taylor's doing is great. Like, you're going to want to left. Slow down.

Slow down, Morty. Slow down, Morty. You're way too fast. Like that I can deal with, and I'm sure mine was terrible. But the burping, the fact that he belches so often it's just like no no no you don't want to get out of here morty take a left of the next sign oh get the burping out even that was yucky to me oh it's gross i had to force that when he's drilling that green slime like there's one where the slime goes why he's like sucks it back up i love that terrible see kids on the playground do that really would like spit and it almost touched the wood chips yeah i used to do that we used to do

it in the full mount position right like like that was a way to terrify people oh not you oh you're spitting onto their if you were gonna bully someone you'd be on top of them doing the latest is the guy who's nice it's nice to wait staff you know you put a look here on their face no no you suck it up you know it's just a threat it's just a never be on the swim team yeah you're bent over was there any swim team hazing did you guys haze the newcomers to the swim team you know like tie them to blocks i started as a senior and um even then like the only thing that really happened is um we had to like put in and take out the lane lines you know the little floaty things between the lanes yeah that's not bad at all yeah so the older guy it's not bad it obviously it's not bad

bad but while you're doing it and the people that have been on the team longer just like wait for you to do it and know that it's not know that they're now above it, it doesn't matter what the task is. It could just be handing out kickboards or something. The fact that you're the hander and they've done their time identifies a social status. That seems like that's every sport, though. That's not necessarily hazing. a social status. That seems like that's every sport, though.

That's not necessarily hazing. It's like in hockey when there were all 400 pucks laying out on the ice after practice. It's always the freshman, always the new guy who has to collect them and put them away. Is there a quick way to collect them? Is there a machine for doing it? Like for tennis, there's that thing, a rolly thing. It's not bad. You just gotta go and pick them up and put them in a bucket.

Why don't one of you geniuses invent that shit real quick? I'm sure we can all picture what it needs to look like. The two benches are near – on ours anyway. Pros are different. But we'd have the two benches with the teams and the penalty box in between them. And the bucket, it's like a Home Depot drywall bucket type thing. It would just be there. And everybody passes the puck to the guy with the bucket. So you've got like five guys passing the puck one guy receiving it and then another guy putting the pucks in the

bucket i feel like you had some if you were skating along pushing something that were about three feet wide that skidded on top of the ice and and and like scoop these things in and they were just being like pushed into a thing and uh you could kind of skate around and i don't know maybe it's not a big deal. Usually they're all in the net at the end of the practice. Like a lot of them are in the net. That makes sense. What does that say about our goalie?

You know says that he was trying to help you know round up the pucks at the end of practice. I don't think that's what it says. It doesn't say that at all. Otherwise they'd be behind the net. Over by the boards. No, ours – we did it so we'd warm up, and then there was a shoot around. Then after that, I played beer leg hockey, so we weren't practicing like that.

But we had like 400 pucks. Everyone would shoot them, and then you just quickly shoot them all back to the middle. It didn't take long. But, yeah, silly topic. Really heavy pucks? shoot them all back to the middle. It didn't take long. Yeah, silly topic, but I've been stacking wood lately, and Colin's helping me, and

this doesn't happen much, but it has with the wood stacking. He's actually worth a damn. I was very surprised. Yesterday, I stacked by myself. Today, it was like, I'm going to to grab Colin because he wasn't around yesterday. And I guess I've been waiting for this his whole life. I include Colin in a lot of activities.

But it's not that common that he's actually helpful. I guess he was with mowing. But now more and more. He's like 12 now, isn't he? He is. And he'll be 13 in April. So that's not that. He's like 12 now, isn't he? He is. And he'll be 13 in April. So that's not that. He's almost 13.

And he's just coming around to actually being worth a damn around the house. I feel like, and I hope this burns into someone's head and it makes him a slightly better father. But one of the things that you are supposed to do as a dad is include your kid in activities even if it doesn't help you. is include your kid in activities even if it doesn't help you. You know, like if you're hanging a new ceiling fan, get your nine-year-old to join in the activity and he'll remember doing that with you. And I've been doing that since they were little kids

and suddenly he's helpful and it was great. You're getting to like prime yard work years with him where you can send him on tasks and it's not a constant like, oh, got to go check in on him. Got to go check in on him. Make sure he's not fucking it up. We're just entering those. So what we do is we've got this giant stack of wood.

I think it's five cords if people know what that is. And we're stacking it all up in the stable under a roof. And we load up the front end loader on the tractor. He loves. And we load up the front end loader on the tractor. He loves it. We load up the front end loader. Then he like hops on the platform and we drive over to the stable with a front end loader full of logs.

And then on the way back, he sits in the front end loader itself as I take him back to the logs. And that's all the payment he needs. Just driving around in the front end loader of a tractor. That's fortunate because you don't pay because that's all the payment i offer um but uh this and a home and food every night front end loader rides and those things so um so it's pretty cool i don't know i've just and then

i feel like i haven't been doing as much like you. I haven't worked on the stable much myself lately. And I just sort of got outside and started doing some work. And I'm like, I forgot how much. I forgot how good this was for me to be outside accomplishing things, getting shit done. It makes me feel good. I feel better about achieving stuff like that than like, oh, you sent off six emails today because it's tangible. Like you can look and see a difference directly in what you do. Even like something as simple as like, oh,

cleaning the house or cleaning the kitchen or something like I get way more satisfaction from stuff like that. I do too. And I denied that about myself when I was younger, like, you know, in my twenties, I thought that you had to be stupid to appreciate that kind of thing. Like, no, no, no. I'm born to be white collar, you know, like I get the equal achievement from coding or this or that. And sometimes I do, but it's hard to match the tangible achievements. And, you know, afterwards, I took Jackie around.

I loaded her in the golf cart and was like, look at the shit we did. We did these things. And Jackie's great. She knows exactly when to clap and ooh and ah. Wow, look at all that wood you stacked. That's exactly what you – and she does it and it's so fake and I'm still okay with it. She literally would go, ooh, nice wood stacking.

You're okay when she fakes it? Because it shows that she's putting a little effort into it at least, right? I know what you're referring to. I've heard it. Wow. Are you talking about Jackie or just in your life as well? Jackie. She's very underwhelmed, but she's like, you know, give me a little support.

So every time you bring her something like that, she makes a sound as if you you were saying like look look at this picture of a dragon i drew jackie look at this picture of a dragon she's like oh wow that's a great track look at the wings on right on the fridge right on the fridge look at you and it's funny because i'm not stupid but it's still exactly what i want you know if she were to be like dude it's stacking wood any moron can do that you like you know your child did it just as well but no it's like oh good yeah that looks nice in there thanks I think it looks good too you know it's just what I want and uh yeah yeah those comments mean a lot I just those little... Words of affirmation. That's a love language.

Yes, it is a love language. It's not my primary one. Well, of course not. Blowjobs is my primary one. Acts of kindness. Physical touch, Taylor's right. I think that's number one for a little less than half the population globally yeah you're talking about every guy yeah every guy's like you know what i want is just just tell me yeah tell me

i'm great i wish i had more quality time with you what are the other ones i can probably name them so there's physical touch there's words of affirmation. There's gifts. There's quality time. Are there five? Are there seven? There's five. How many of these? Five. Words of affirmation, gifts, quality time.

Physical touch. Physical touch. And... Belly button. Blowjobs. Fuck, I know I'll get it. get a button cream pie um what would you say yours is kyle um lady wants to get close to acts of service acts of service if a lady wants to get close to me um what do you mean by that like like sexually or like like have some sort of emotional emotional structure like like

foundation how does she make emotional deposits into your relationship with her um i think when they like uh go out of the way to create a thing for me like build or or gifts maybe yeah not gifts because because like if you give me a gift certificate or a Honda, I'm just going to be like, honestly, I won't care. That doesn't do it. But if you build something for me, that's big in my book. It's happened a few times. I've had drawings and paintings done for me. But my current girlfriend, she knows I'm a big Lord of the Rings fan, and she built Helm's Deep with cardboard and peeps.

And she constructed the troll catapults, and she built this huge thing in my basement on the floor. It took her two days. She hid it from me. And on the box, it looks like Helm's Deep. And on the side, it says Helm's Peep. And when I saw that, I was like... Oh. That's nice. The big problem, though, is that she included troll catapults

at the Battle of Helm's Deep that was Minas Tirith where they brought those out just the Uruk-hai army of Saruman you're absolutely right there were trolls there at Helm's Deep but they didn't have the catapults she had the big siege ladders if that makes you feel better it was in some ways

very accurate did they have the guy with no shirt with the flamethrower? The magnesium torch? No, that wasn't there. He wasn't present. I was reading some of the little known facts about the trilogy the other day. And I know a lot of them. Like when Aragorn kicks that helmet, he's breaking two bones in his foot.

And that scream of, ah! Isn't just because he thinks that Merry and Pippin have been killed by the Uruk-hai or in the battle with the Rohan Riders. It's because he broke his fucking foot on that helmet, and it hurt real bad, so he screamed. But there's the one about Sean Connery being offered the part of Gandalf and 15% of the gross on a series that made $3 billion, if you want to do that math.

He didn't understand the part. He read the books, read the script, still claims he doesn't understand it and doesn't regret not taking it. He has a lot of money. He's got plenty. He's all good. There were a lot of little tidbits in there that I didn't know. A bunch of them, it's a good

thing they didn't do them. The Weinstein Brothers, I think, produced that thing. Harvey Weinstein wanted it all to be one movie. He wanted Rohan and Gondor to be combined into one group of people.

Yeah, he wanted... What was the other thing? Oh, the entire part where... Basically, the first movie, the trilogy, or excuse me, the fellowship, the segment where they go into the Mines of Moria and lose Gandalf was literally going to be nothing more than Frodo saying, and then we went into a very dangerous journey through the Mines of Moria

where we lost Gandalf. And that was going to be it. He was just going to say that sentence, and that was going to take up that whole thing. What a terrible idea. Yeah, Peter Jackson fought for his vision of that movie and made that thing what it was. There were lots of ways.

Vin Diesel tried out for the role of Aragorn and Peter Jackson said it was very good. Originally, the part, the first guy was offered to, they offered the part to fucking, what's his name? The one that Reddit loves making fun of. Con Air and...

Nicolas Cage. Nicolas Cage. They offered Aragorn and Nicolas Cage. I want to go back to the love language thing. Sure. Taylor, without just picking out one of the five love languages, what does a girl do to make a huge emotional deposit for you? Magic cards?

Like you said, physical touch. I'll do mine, what's in my head. So I'm a physical touch guy, right? Yeah. And as lame as this sounds, specifically, like, inappropriate touching. Like the touch on the sly. The, you know, if I'm getting a drink and and she cops her feel

the olive garden grab the whatever that there's kind of a i'm thinking of you i'm love you type thing going on there that seems beyond just like you know this is our like i'm married with kids right so sometimes sex is really scheduled you know it's like yeah hope will be gone tomorrow colin has parkour camp let's do this um sometimes it goes down like that that's great and everything but i feel like the bigger deposits are made when right in the belly button you know like, like... Biggest deposits. Yeah. You know, when, like, whatever, she on her own decided, I'm copping a feel, like, that kind of thing.

Even if it's just a hug, it doesn't have to be so naughty. Those are bigger deposits to me, or big deposits to me. I agree with you, like, 100% there. That was a good way to articulate it. Like, the little, like, just to show that you're in their thoughts, I guess. Not even just like, oh, yeah, let's fuck in this Barnes & Noble. But just like, you know, just not heavy petting because that sounds really wildly inappropriate. As it would be in a Barnes & Noble.

But just, you know, a little grab grope just to show like interest there. I like those pornos where the girl's getting dirty in a library. That's a common genre. I don't know what it is about live. Well, it's a new one. So these girls live stream at the library in a very risky scenario where they can masturbate or whatever. So they'll strip down naked, be fucking themselves between the book aisles,

and then they've got to quickly put their clothes on because some guy's walking through for his biology exam. This stressed me out just as much as if I were in that position where I'm like, these are quiet hours. I saw one where there's a camera she's got one camera on her face and she's got

one camera under her desk and she's masturbating with a vibrator in class. She squirts on the floor and the professor catches her it's great it's it's almost as good as belly button fucking it's it's one of my favorites almost that good i know i know right i mean it's not as good as interracial belly button fucking because how do you top that but really someone just peed in a classroom and rightfully so was busted for it a little bit yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i i don't think she got any

trouble i think it's a i feel like it's a hot chick you could like squirt in a classroom and you're gonna get a whole shit load less than if i came in a classroom like if i blow a load over there there's not one single person in that room who's like, hey, that's kind of cool. If a girl comes in a classroom, 50% of us are on board with that shit. At least. You know? There's a big discrepancy there. It's much easier to be a woman and masturbate in a classroom.

Yeah. Teacher pays lip service to it like, hey. Maybe literally. That'd be hot. What are you thinking? You know? Keep that one. There's a once a week thing you know going forward it's like basketball you call a couple guys come out there and squeegee the court down yeah professors like you can upload that footage right

yeah that's great i like the like public sex videos that don't seem fake when they're like actually out in a risky uh scenario doing some dirty stuff. I like the happy embarrassed girls subreddit. I know you do too, Woody. I know that's on your multiplex of porn. That's a good one. All that stuff, yeah. But belly button

fucking. Ah, that's the caviar of extreme sex videos for me right now. I've stumbled onto stuff, but I'm going to look for more versions of it. I feel like, like you said, Taylor, let's some midget belly button fucking whatever.

I got to get into this. Yeah, start adding more. Jumping in with both feet. Once you get, where do you even kind of go off from there, you know? Other orifices? What deeper deeper darker internet pit are you going to find yourself after you ricochet from that so um i think trampling is uh trampling is when you want someone to like walk on you step on you stomp on you that one to me seems like the ones that are just pain and like very

very little pleasure those always seem like a darker uh avenue to me always has something that hurts my soul oh i love if i know you do it's when it's weird because i did really well on the um uh gauntlet thing but he fucked like did you see the one where the love there she starts she starts crying during the porno because it's like hurting or whatever and she's like she's like i'll fuck the dog i'll do like puke porn whatever you want and they're like you're really gonna fuck the dog because that's gonna mess you up is that what you want she's like yeah i guess it's like this is some hardcore shit he fucked like filters the internet um and that that it's not the cream rising to the top it's more of like a disgusting

brine that sinks to the bottom sediment on the bottom of that internet lake yeah they drain all this good stuff off the top and they scrape that brine off the bottom that's all hardened and gross and they sludge it's the toxic waste it's the awfulness scum on the bottom of the bay next to a battery manufacturing facility. That Rocco guy will put a chick in a full Nelson while he's fucking her. If you can imagine that, like under her arms on the back of her head and he's fucking her. And she's like 90 pounds. So he's like a big dude. 90 pounds is nothing to this dude.

And he'll be fucking her and putting her head in the toilet. And it's just like, Jesus Christ, what is she getting paid for this yeah and the probably quite a bit that a lot of what happens in e-fucked is filled with regret and that regret is real and true and that's palpable that's why it's so not sexy to me. I'm going. I'm not going. All right, so I'm just going to read. Wow, this is such a dirty episode. Carry on. Yeah, I'm just going to read the titles of the videos and stuff that are on there. So number one, Gia Paloma's infamous milk enema fail.

Description reads, aside from giving vegans cancer, everyone knows that milk does a body good. When this video was released, the full part was edited out was edited out luckily a low quality leak found its way to me full scene here don't know what's gonna happen there 10 what the fuck moments in porn one guy one mousetrap he's putting his cock in it pretty much the shittiest incest porn ever it reads some people have no business in porn namely fat people horses and that dumb cunt from Teen Mom today the blacklist gets a little longer with the introduction of this innocuous fucktard. He has the sexual prowess of a catatonic sloth, an acting skill so bad Dolph Lundgren's head would implode.

Download the video here. Too drunk to fuck. Misha here just signed the liability waiver to star in her very own movie. So grab a bottle of vodka and put down a preemptive puke bucket beside the couch because it's time for some classic Russian pornography. And she looks dead in the video. That's just her face. They're having to hold her eyes open. She's so drunk.

Flashing kids at the mall prank. Apparently this hot chick is just flashing children at the mall. That seems illegal. Oh, it's a prank now. It's a social experiment. I thought that was a felony. Lighting small fires around the city prank. This guy, I think this is a video of a guy named Miguel having a very large, every year thousands of people endure senseless tragedy.

I'm reading as the video plays, this is on the screen. This is Miguel's story. I'm pretty sure that Oh shit! What's up with Miguel? I'm gonna link ya. I'm gonna link ya and we're gonna watch together. Because you don't have to worry about some woman having her soul

destroyed on camera. Nothing like that. It's a dude. And he just made a little mistake. That's all. Just a little mistake. We all have been there. The title of this one is I Must Have Been Drugged. Do I have an ad popping up or something?

Oh, every year. Let's start over again. Oh, don't play this for the crowd now. Oh, the sound is even bad? The sound's okay. That's where I was headed. Yeah. Alright, so let's cue at zero, hit pause, and then we'll all play together. There.

All right, so now you have to hit play video again to get it going. So Taylor, you ready? I'm ready. Ready, set, play. Every year, thousands of people endure senseless tragedy. This is just text on the screen. This is Miguel's story.

Okay, so it looks like he's having surgery on his butt or something. There's a catheter in his penis and oh they're going to pull something out of his butt that's not supposed to be there. Miguel arrives at the ER complaining his butt hurt and we're watching there's a hand in his butt. The whole hand. The whole hand. The doctor's hand. I just woke up like this after a party, he said.

And they're going to pull something out of his butt. I don't know what that thing is going to be. You know what it is. Oh, see, that's what I thought it was. It just keeps going. So there was a dildo with balls on it. Ten inches long. Had to be.

Twelve, maybe. They put it in that little medical tray. Yeah, that the girl was starting to come out of. One of those bedpan type things. The old school lima bean shaped ones. Kidney shaped ones. Yeah, so there's a penis with balls on it. The fact that the balls were in his butt. St. Miguel, three days later a there's a penis with balls on how like the fact that the

balls were in his butt same miguel three days later there's text on the screen again what is oh they're pulling something else out of is that a butt he came back three days later with an even bigger thing in his ass it's he says read the text i must have tripped while making a salad. As they pull a bloody, enormous zucchini out of his ass. Is that a zucchini? A zucchini cucumber, I wouldn't know. Yeah, and the guy's sitting there doggy style, really. God damn, there's blood on it too. A week later, we kill Ty in a freak accident involving a catfish.

Wouldn't you at least go to a different hospital to try and throw him off the case? I don't know. I want someone who's, what's more embarrassing, introducing a whole new team of professionals to your asshole, or the same group who's already done it once. Yeah. Maybe one time you can get away with having somebody punch you in the

eye or something when you go in and just be like, I was molested. A gang of people a vegetable bandit came up and rammed it right up my ass and said, enjoy, now I'm here. Yeah, that doesn't play more than once, though. And this guy seems to have a habitual problem. This one is called phone booth shit.

Taking a shit while talking on the phone is perfectly normal. That's a girl shitting in a phone booth. What year is this from? Phone booth? I think this person is going to plug their dick into a light socket somehow. I'm going to watch a bit. Have you guys ever heard of One Red Paperclip?

Oh shit, we've got to watch this one. I haven't heard of One Red Paperclip. It's amazing. It's the coolest story. The Love Plug. That's the name of this one. Are we watching this? Alright, Taylor, choose a topic. One Red Paperclip or The Love Plug. That's the name of this one. Are we watching this? Alright, Taylor. Choose a topic. One red paperclip or the love plug.

Come on, Taylor. He plugs his dick into a power outlet. Taylor, it's an amazing story. Feel good. We're going to have a brief foyer into the love plug. And then we'll move tangentially over to a red paperclip. Baby love plug.

Alright. I'm queued up at zero. Here's a detailed guide on how to become permanently impotent in a split second. I'd absolutely love to see a girl try to do something like this. Ready, set, play. All right, so this is a shot of... Oh, no! Oh, no!

Oh, no! Oh, my God! No! No! Listen. Listen. What he did is he put tinfoil on his penis and wrapped it around, okay? And then at the tip of the tinfoil, it had like devil horns. And then he put those into a socket it you can see the spark he tripped the socket and then the lights went out and he screamed

that motherfucker threw the circuit he threw he threw the fuse that's what i was trying to say yeah he tripped the circuit breaker and and god he could be really hurt i guess you know what that's what you get i blame you for me seeing this taylor because clearly you're responsible yeah that was so i thought he was i don't know what i thought it was gonna be i like looking back i thought he was just gonna kind of like mush it up against an outlet maybe or yeah that was uh his little conspiracy theory hat that he fashioned for his dick so this happened when the internet was young uh way back in like 2005 and i guess it wasn't that young anyway i learned about this at work and it like it got me excited to think that this was like a possibility

because somebody actually really honestly did this he started with one red paper clip and he started trading it on the internet every time he traded it he tried to make like a step up and they're all like legit negotiated deals you know someone wanted this instead of that. So let's just look at it. Yeah, there was a rendition of this on The Office. Oh, well, this maybe is where it came from. So let's go through the trades. He traded his red paperclip, his one red paperclip, for a fish-shaped pen, right? Both pretty worthless.

Like, I feel like the pen is better than the paperclip, but pens are also kind of worthless, right? Both pretty worthless. I feel like the pen is better than the paper clip, but pens are also kind of worthless, right? You can get a pen for free. You can take them from a store. No one ever gets mad that you... It's a pen. It's not much. And then he traded the pen on the same day for a hand-sculpted doorknob. Not even sure that's a step up. And then he went to Massachusetts with a friend to trade the doorknob for a Coleman camp stove, which is a pretty good trade up. And then he traded the camp stove for a Honda generator, another good trade up. And then he, I don't understand this. He made a second attempt after having the generator confiscated by the fire department

to trade the generator for an instant party, an empty keg, and an IOU for filling the keg with the beer of his choice and a neon Budweiser sign. And again, like a Honda generator for keg seems kind of like an assigned, I don't know. It's a trade that's possible. Then he traded the Instant Party for a Ski-Doo snowmobile. And then he traded the snowmobile for a two-person trip to British Columbia. And then he traded the trip for a second spot on a yak trip for a box truck.

I don't fully understand that. And then he traded the cube van, aka box truck, for a recording contract with Metalworks. They traded the recording contract for a year's rent in Arizona. Then he traded the year's rent for an afternoon with Alice Cooper. I'm not sure that's even a step up, but I guess, and then he traded an afternoon with Alex Cooper for a motorized snow globe. I don't know why that's a trade up.

And then he traded the motorized snow globe for a role in a film. And then he traded that for a two story farmhouse there's just no way like has this all been well and truly verified because there are so many weird little exchange rates like what is Alice Cooper lunch

compared to Renton Phoenix compared to a box truck like it there's not just this many people. That's what makes it hard. He had to find things that people specifically wanted. He had to trade up. Every time is a trade up, but it's almost a believable trade up. Like, if you guys are watching the video version,

you can see what the trades were. Like, a paperclip for a pen. I get that. Pen for a doorknob. Nah. A doork paperclip for a pen. I get that. Pen for a doorknob. Nah. A doorknob for a stove. That to me seemed like a big upgrade. A stove for a generator.

That one's too good almost. That Kiss globe is $100. A Kiss motorized snow globe. I don't, there's a. It's a snow globe. I don't get that one in particular because he had a year's rent and they traded the year's rent for an afternoon with alex alice cooper and that to me was a trade down and then he went to the snow globe and all of a sudden like if you were to

skip that and trade a year's rent for a stupid fucking snow globe i don't get it yeah how about if you have this remarkable bartering skill, you just take a whole year's rent in Phoenix, Arizona and buy like 60 of these magic snow globes, skip the Alice Cooper lunch. I think it's real though. Like the BBC investigated it and they said, how'd you make all these incredible trades?

And he said, I had no idea. I think that it gathered some steam at some point and people were maybe doing bad trades to get... Oh, to show that what he was doing was working. Well, to be part of the show, I think. This guy, he went from a paperclip to a year's rent. And I read an interview with him about this a long time ago.

And at that point, he considered stopping. He's like, we've got something really valuable here. This is like tangible real estate, but they wanted to keep going until they owned a house and they got a two-story farmhouse in Saskatchewan. I'm looking at the picture of it. I'll slide this over so that the world can see a little better. The two-story farmhouse in Saskatchewan is good, but it doesn't look like a million-dollar home. This thing might be, in 2005, maybe it was a $40,000 home. I don't know how much Saskatchewan homes cost, but assuming it's an inexpensive area to live and it's a small home like that, it could have been $40,000 to $80,000.

Pretty neat. He started with a like that. It could have been 40 to 80,000. Pretty neat. He started with a paperclip. Pretty neat. Yeah. I want to believe it. Yeah. Dwight did that on, uh,

um, the office. They had like a, uh, a yard, sort of a yard sale inside the, um, downstairs in the,

uh, in the warehouse and everybody was selling their own thing. And he started with like, shit, what was it? Something really small, like a paperclip. And he built his way up to a telescope, and then Jim fleeced him by selling him magic beans like Jack and the Beanstalk. It's pretty funny.

There's a season or two of The Office where they wildly ripped off internet memes like dances and um it kind of bugged me a lot of people were criticizing it i remember when it was live at the time um they were just sort of redoing popular internet memes and videos and stuff like that one red paperclip falls into that criticism well i mean it was just one part of one episode. I don't know. Yeah, it was never like the core of it, but they're like, hey, you know,

these jokes are just ripped off. What was funny, so the whole time, Jim is fleecing Dwight. He's like, yeah, I was in Jamaica, and this guy sold me these beans, and I turned around to get my money back, and he vanished. So weird.

He's like, you know what? He like stomps them, throws them away, but then they're back magically. Dwight's confused by it. And finally, of course, he trades the telescope for these magic beans. And so he's got, Dwight goes and he plants them in all these like planters, you know?

And when he's not looking, of course, Jim is swapping out those planters with new planters with huge plants in them and stuff. Like they just grew in an hour uh i like the office i i um i'm trying to think you mean you mean like you said the dances is it maybe the episode where they have like a musical intro to it or something yeah that was one of them um but there were like i just remember i think it was a reddit criticism not sure yeah i've been on reddit for that long um where they were just ripping on the guy listed like nine examples of things that they got on the internet and just redid and i didn't catch the paperclip one at the time but yeah a lot of that okay

what did i have there's elections i don't know if we did election talk. We did. We did it quickly. I don't know. That's good. Maybe that's enough. It's good. I know. Oh, this is just a random topic.

It's from Ask Reddit. What's the rarest thing that you own? Oh. Right? You guys are going to have something cool. i see i feel like i don't like there's rare shit this is my this is my like 15 million year old fossil that i found myself out in texas that was pretty i like that that's a giant good one um i don't know i I've got a lot of my guns are serialized I don't like that what that it says FPS no no it's not that it says FB I think that's pretty no that's

not that doesn't meet your qualifications for I guess like you know I've had a surfboards with my name on it or something but you know that kind of is only special to me and like I want something that has some kind of value i guess i've got that i've got those shredder uh like personal tank vehicles like i i haven't seen many of those anywhere it's not rare at all but my my table saw um there was a time when on the internet woodworking community i was kind of a big deal and the sol stop had uh um like a huge waiting list like two years long and because i was like internet famous for woodworking they gave me mine right away and the serial number on it is 22 and i even to this day i think it's kind of cool that like the owner of this all stop was like yeah what do you get yours because you know it's like kind of neat yeah that's cool I like whenever I

am working a deal with a company and getting like suppressors or guns I usually have them serialized and like fps 1 2 3 4 I've got a machine gun that's fps 007 my mark 46 is uh this is fps1 i've got uh two more of these that are like fps 2 and 3 um i don't know i've got a couple of so it's like a novelty plate on a car almost vanity play yeah one of my hockey sticks was used by an nhl player cool that's the direction i was gonna i have assigned uh al mckinnis game stick i from when I was younger. That's pretty cool. Yeah, a lot of mine,

like they're literally worn out. Like the local hockey store that used to be here called Cool Sports got all the old Hurricane sticks like when they were done playing with them and sold used sticks. But they were all used NHL sticks, which in some ways made them kind of neat. I played with mine

a lot. I didn't really... I've got a signed Brett Hall puck. I've got that. I don't know where it is now. I have one of that full-size monster from the video game Rage that I called Zorgon. You guys are familiar with that? No.

Oh, I know the video game Rage. I got him back here.'s like he's on my my dip bar like he's just sitting on it's really old from like the 80s or something right oh is that the arcade game yeah i played the arcade game rage no this is rampage is what i'm thinking of this was an xbox 360 uh a game rage was i'm gonna grab him he's just in the back room okay you grab him yeah i can't think of anything cool other than just a couple of hockey things yeah like rarest thing i own the rarest thing yeah probably that stick i think i've got a couple signed jerse and sydney crosby his rookie season fuck sydney crosby he was

he's signed he's my least favorite outstanding player ever just because you think he's well you're a philly fan of course you fucking hate him. But he's a whiner. Yeah. Yeah. I think he does everything he can. I know that guy now. The baby head guy. I feel like Sidney Crosby does everything he can to get babied by the refs and the other players and not to have to be a real hockey player. All the other skilled players. Like Brett Hull, for example, was at least also like he wasn't there fighting all the other skilled players, like Brett Hull, for example, was at least also like, he wasn't there fighting all the time.

He wasn't Shanahan or something, but at least he was a hockey player. Sidney Crosby is a fucking pussy. Came back to a bit of Sidney Crosby. Gonna get a lot of angry Pittsburgh fans, maybe. Oh, God, both of them? Fuck Sidney Crosby. He's a fucking douchebag cry baby weiner you know he talks to the refs more than anybody all with just fucking crying there's definitely times that he's been melodramatic and a drama queen and it makes you dislike him but at

the end of the day like even after his like little stint the beginning of the season where he didn't play well at all and everybody's like oh crosby you know making room for the next best player to come in like you're you know falling off your throne and then in the last like month he's just been tearing it up again like i'm not denying that he's effective like you know you can't deny that. He leads the league in points oftentimes. Probably not this year. But he's still a douchebag. He's a fucking baby wimp. He's a wimp of a player.

And this is hockey. Pussy is just the best word. Sidney Crosby is the biggest fucking pussy. He's got no heart. He's got no heart. I love you, Kyle. You see those players out there just leaving it all on the ice, leaving it all. And he got no heart. I love you, Kyle. You see those players out there just leaving it all on the ice, leaving it all. And he gets a scratch. He's

wanting to be a real pussy about it. I just don't like how he plays the game. No heart. I agree. That's how he... Kyle's right, even though I don't think Kyle knows Sidney Crosby at all. Of course I do. Yeah, he plays for... What team is it again, Kyle? Oh, the Saskatchewan Faggots.

Again, he's right. We underestimated you, Kyle. So this guy, this quickly is an interlude. About four years ago at the Staples Center in L.A. at E3, they had these motherfuckers lashed all over to the Staples Center to promote the game Rage. And so they approached us to do a video for them. And I immediately was like, well, I need those fucking monsters you got tied on the building outside.

You got to get those to me. They kind of chuckled. And I was like, no, for real. I need like four of those. And so they sent me four of them in a box truck. Apparently, they cost like five grand a piece because they got full metal skeletons that are poseable, even the fingers. It's heavy. It's this big

foam thing. I don't know. This is Zorgan. He's been part of my life for a long time now. I just leave him set up in rooms and stuff, ready to scare any unsuspecting person. How many times has he been shot? Never. I told them that I needed four of them, but i only needed three

because i wanted to keep one yeah smart you know a rainy day just in case good thinking kyle just in case you need a zorgon i like having him um like upstairs i've got the guy from um oh what's the guy with the mohawk? What was that game? Mr. T? No, the white guy from the game that came out a couple years ago. He had the mohawk. Borderlands? They were on an island. Oh. Something.

Dead Island? Let me grab him and you'll know him. An island with a mohawk. God, I'm going to know this. I don't know. Oh, Far Cry? Far Cry 3? That's kind of like the...

Is it Far Cry? Everyone started doing promo videos. I know Devin Supertramp did one. They were like paying everyone to do videos. I think it's Far Cry. I've never played Far Cry. I bought it. It's in my Steam library

But I still haven't played it I thought there were like Five Far Cries now I think there are I think I'm nailing it with Far Cry 3 actually Here I'll share it with everyone So they can see what i'm seeing i bet this is what kyle's talking about and knowing that he seemed to get it through his

youtube world and they were like everybody was pimping him at one time oh that's probably it i bet he had an agreement with them to help promote the game. This guy's got the beginning of a bad ear decision going. He does? I would say he's already made a bad ear decision. Well, none of them are good. Well, I mean, piercing your ears I feel like is good, and it's also temporary.

I mean, like, the gauges. Right, right. like it's good and it's also temporary you can pull i mean like the gauges right right have you ever met someone with a gauge like in their upper or lower lip to where if they take it out you can just see teeth i've seen it on t i've seen it on the internet it's very unsettling it's weird to see someone's teeth through their lip and just kind of be reminded like oh yeah like they go lower than you think. Yeah. Yeah.

You, you really got to step up your oral hygiene. If you're just going to be popping out your, your cork and showing off your, your lower incisor or whatever the hell that teeth is. Oh yeah, this must be it. He's even got the little bandana that slipped down to his wrist. Is it far cry?

Oh, Kyle. There it is is he froze for a second i think i'm right yeah i think what he's right yeah kyle are you there yeah can you not hear me uh you froze i think we froze a little bit yeah but we saw the guy far cry 3 3, right? Can you hear me now? Yeah. See, Kyle's totally winning the rarest thing competition. I had that made. My painting? The Call of Duty painting?

The makeup artist? That's kind of a rare thing. Of course, nobody else wants it, but I think it's neat. I had one of the makeup artists that do the work on The Walking Dead. He did my makeup for that Hitman video. I had him make this thing, the hair and the airbrush. Kyle's blinking in and out. I've got another painting coming.

It's all red, but it has PKA and the pill in white. And it was a regrettable decision. So basically, I banned a guy on WoodyCraft. And at WoodyCraft now what we do is if you even like threaten or say docs or DDoS, we come down super hard on it. No tolerance policy. Really. We lock it down so hard.

And the no tolerance thing I almost have to do because people scream favoritism very quickly. And I think this guy, I forget which one he mentioned, but it was like he didn't do it, but he kind of like vaguely insinuated docs or DDoS, which is all it takes. So we banned him. And he doesn't have the money to get unbanned. So that's what we do. $25, $50, $75 and you can buy an unbanned. Otherwise, we couldn't ban so easily.

It would be a death sentence. So anyway, he offered to paint me a painting instead. And I am getting a painkiller already painting that might replace that one. What if it's just a painting of you sucking a big dick with like Woody is a douche over it or something? Just his one final way to stick it to you. Then we won't be unlocking him. Speaking of art and paintings, you should check out Melissa's Instagram. There's more to the story.

Oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead. So it turns out, now Kyle, you're not fully back yet, that if half of the stuff that he's accused of doing is true, and people falsely accused, but if half of the stuff that this guy has done is true, I should not have accepted easy payment i i'm really regretting it i'm gonna stick to my word because that's what you do but um uh i mean you

may have been too lenient on ice i like we had players, their leader is permanently gone, where, again, I don't know what's true or not, but these guys appear to be like a full-on gang of cyber criminals that like to pick on kids that play Minecraft. And we've just been, like, banning them left and right for when they get caught. And this is one that purchased an unban with instead of cash, using a painting. And I feel like a dumbass with instead of cash using a painting.

I feel like a dumbass. Well, enjoy your painting. Well, I hope that his reputation is worse than his reality. How much is the second ban for him? Two, three, maybe four paintings? He's on his third ban. It would have been $75, but instead it will be a painting. Then he's gone watercolor yeah if he gets a fourth band then it's not purchasable i had a guy offer me 500 for a fourth band and i was

like no that's no you're done yeah if we caught you three times you've probably done 3 000 bad things and you've got to go. You've got to go. And then he knew he was on his last band, still did stuff. That's just the way that we do it. You're done. Hey, Chiz linked us to this video. Let's watch it. Am I coming through okay?

No. You're really fuzzy. So this video is all the talk right now. It's just been uploaded. Let's watch it together. Can you try talking again, Kyle? One, two, three. Testing.

One, two, three. That was good. It's better than it was, yeah. Yeah. So I'm queued up at zero. Same. I'm good to go. Ready, set, play.

You know, today Senator Sanders said that President Obama failed the presidential leadership test. And this is not the first time that he has criticized President Obama. In the past, he's called him weak. He's called him a disappointment. He wrote a foreword for a book that basically argued voters should have buyer's remorse when it comes to President Obama's leadership and legacy. Ready, set, pause. So this has been a continuing theme of hers.

She's always trying to say that I am the successor to Obama. If you liked Obama, vote Hillary. And I feel like there's a lot of people, I'd be included, that would, like if hypothetically three terms was the limit they'd vote Obama one more time I think Obama would win this year's election easily so she's really trying to run on Obama's coattails and let's see how this plays out

disagree more with those kinds of comments. You know, from my perspective, maybe because I understand what President Obama inherited, not only the worst financial crisis, but the antipathy of the Republicans in Congress. I don't think he gets the credit he deserves for being a president who got us out of that pit,

put us on firm ground, and has sent us into the future. A lot of cheers for Obama at the Democratic debate. Surprise. The kind of criticism that we've heard from Senator Sanders about our president, I expect from Republicans. I do not expect from someone running for the Democratic nomination to succeed President Obama. That is... Uh, Madam Secretary, that is a low, low. I have worked with President Obama for the last seven years. When President Obama came into office,

we were losing 800,000 jobs a month. 800,000 jobs a month. We had a $1.4 trillion deficit, and the world's financial system was on the verge of collapse. As a result of his efforts and the efforts of Joe Biden against unprecedented, I was there in the Senate, unprecedented Republican obstructionism, we have made enormous progress.

But you know what? Last I heard, we lived in a democratic society. Last I heard, a United States senator had the right to disagree with a president, including a president who has done such an extraordinary job. So I have voiced criticisms. You're right, maybe you haven't. I have.

But I think to suggest that I have voiced criticism, this blurb that you talk about, you know what the blurb said? Blurb said that the next president of the United States has got to be aggressive in bringing people in to the political process. That's what I said. That is what I said. That is what I believe. President Obama and I are friends.

As you know, he came to Vermont to campaign for me when he was a senator. I have worked for his reelection, his first election, and his reelection. But I think it is really unfair to suggest that I have not been supportive of the president. I have been a strong ally on him, with him, on virtually every issue. Do senators have the right to disagree with the

president? Have you ever disagreed with a president? What I am concerned about is not disagreement on issues, saying that this is what i'd rather do i don't agree with the president on that calling the president weak calling him a disappointment calling several times that he should have a primary opponent when he ran for re-election in 2012 you know i think that goes further than saying we have our disagreements as a senator yes so I was a senator I understand we can disagree on the path forward but those kinds of personal assessments and charges are ones that I find particularly troubling you may respond to that but it's time now for closing statements and you can use your time for closing statements to do that. One of us ran against Barack Obama. I was not that candidate.

That was good. I like that. I really felt like he was referring to Bill when he asked if she'd ever disagreed with the president or something. Yeah. My mind immediately went to the Monica time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever disagreed with the president? Or are you okay with your husband getting his cock sucked by an intern? Yeah, I wish he went further. You know, sometimes presidents make decisions we don't agree with. I'm sure you've been there before. Maybe a certain president did something you didn't like.

Yes. And you probably removed all the cigars from the Oval Office. You know, and the result of this, the consequences, sometimes we'd fix it with a good steam clean, but that's not the case this time, Madam Secretary. You can't steam clean the economy. The economy is not a cum stain, and it's not going to work like that. Yes, jobs are not blue dresses, and you can't just take them to the dry cleaner. I hate her with a passion. I really hate her so much. Just looking at her goddamn face

makes me angry. I wish Sanders would beat her. I really do. My dislike of her is more rational. I feel like her... Look, her policies are... It's visceral. I can feel the hate.

...kind of a continuation of Obama. If you look at what she actually wants to do, there's that. I feel like she blows with the political wind way too much. When she voted for the Iraq war, that was either because she's bought and paid for or because it was a popular decision or she has bad decision-making processes.

One of those. Either makes bad decisions, she's bought, or it was popular. I said one time that the Iraq war had like a 95% approval rating and people looked into it and it was in the 90s. I forget the exact number, 90, 92, I went a little high. But it was wildly popular.

It's rare that like America, like 90 some percent of America agrees on a thing. And that's where to stand against the Iraq war took a real backbone and it took good decision-making. I did it, but I'm not a politician, but I thought of it at the time. Bernie Sanders did it.

Obama did it. Hillary didn't. Hillary was pro Iraq war. She fucked up. Do you want her as your president? When you fuck up like that, when you fiercely fucking decide to invade the Middle East with no proof? And you know how I know there was no proof?

Because it wasn't there, right? If there was any proof, then they would have actually had to have done it. But there was no proof. The burden of proof was lower for a war than it is for like a capital punishment praise case. And they literally started a war just on a hunch and it's fucking horrific. And only the stupidest of stupid leaders would do something like that. Like Clinton or Bush.

Well, like pretty much every politician that, like you said, like 90 plus percent. A lot. Yeah. Yeah. That was the people support i don't know if there were 90 percent politicians but um it was really popular and it was awful and hillary i wish i could name some of the other things that she supported that i really

disagreed with but she's a very pro-traditional marriage until like three years ago no not even that long and obama had a similar mistake, I think. He didn't have the backbone to be for gay marriage until recently when there's really no cost to be for gay marriage. If anything, there's a benefit. Now, if you're anti-gay marriage, then it's like being racist. It's the same battle. These guys are fighting what what what i guess black people i want to know if they support the fupa movement the the furries

eunuchs and pedophiles of america that's that's what i want to know so so hillary is taking the weak backbone positions for all her whole career you know politically expedient positions is what they would call it you know she, she doesn't stand up against the wind. That woman has stood up against sniper fire before. She told me. I heard that too. Kyle says that, I guess when she ran against Barack, I don't know, she got off a helicopter and they dodged a sniper fire.

Yeah, I think it was a plane. She landed somewhere, maybe Kosovo. I don't remember where she landed at, but she claimed to have been to sniper fire. Yeah, I think it was a plane. She landed somewhere, maybe Kosovo. I don't remember where she landed at, but she claimed to have been under sniper fire. It was just a total fabricated Peter Jennings kind of thing. Is Peter Jennings? No, no, no, no. Brian Williams.

You're right. It was Brian Williams. Brian Williams. He got attacked in the helicopter, didn't he? Yeah, they shot him down with an RPG. He imagined the whole thing, unfortunately. Or did it happen to a different helicopter in his thing? That's how I remember it, but I'm not sure. The way I remember

it was like, he claimed that his chopper might have been hit, and the reality was that a different chopper was shot at or something like that. There was a little meat to what he said, but not much. Yeah, he actually ended up having PPTSD

pre-post-traumatic stress. It was just the anticipation of something that's stressful was enough to set him off. Just imagining a stressful situation quickly. He doesn't do well in horror movies. Anything like that.

He can't read books with a twist at the end. Good God, loses it. Speaking of books with a twist at the end, I know, good God, loses it. Speaking of books with a twist at the end, I guess the new season of Game of Thrones is only 60 days away, something like that. Are we excited about it? What's your level of anticipation and excitement? And I have completely pulled the plug on any kind of a spoiler.

There's lots of behind-the-scenes photos. They're saying, like, spoilers all on them because there's, like, 16 photos. I haven't looked at any of that stuff, i'm excited i'm tempering my expectations like every other season i get super excited months leading up including last season and then not even it wasn't a huge disappointment last season overall i still enjoyed it thoroughly but it didn't quite hit that threshold of like oh my fucking god this is so cool that the season with like the Red Wedding had. And so I'm just trying to not get excited so that whatever happens, I'm fine with.

Yeah, I guess I feel the same way. While I liked the whole Khaleesi on the dragon more than any of you guys did, that was a big episode for me. That was like a triumphant moment where my heart was pounding and I was like, yeah, fuck them up, burn them, burn them. You know, I had a good time with that.

I think there were maybe like six good episodes last year and that's definitely down from past seasons. So last year was a, has been, was the worst season yet. I'm hoping it was an aberration and not a trend. I agree completely, except my number would have been less than six. I can't name them, but maybe there were four episodes I thought were really good. And like you said, I'm hoping that that was just a hiccup in an otherwise great series. And it will be interesting because I watched last season and enjoyed it the least as a book reader, audio book reader.

I don't want to get all. You don't have to keep hedging that. It's the same thing. Yeah, that counts. I feel like in terms of knowledge, it's the same count, but there's a certain prestige, i think that comes to a written word like you know that's your actual reader whereas i am a guy who drove too much because i went back like saying you got a perfect sport in goaling but you use the bumpers oh yeah

i disagree i i think it's just as... I think I'm multitasking. Hey, not only am I absorbing this gigantic fucking series of novels, I'm doing other things. I'm mowing as well. Yeah, yeah. So I don't think there's any more prestige to reading the book. I absorb it better having it read to me because it's like I'm able to let go of the part of my brain

that would have to focus on words and flip pages and follow along and pay attention to punctuation so I hear it correctly, so I read it correctly, get the right tone on the words and everything. But I can listen to Roy DeTriest go on about this stuff with his accents, his voices. It's so much better. I absorb it. I understand it. I retain it. I think audiobooks are the way to... The whole...

The original story is spoken word, right? It's how our history was passed down, it's how all of our greatest stories were originally conveyed. It's by listening to someone else tell you a story. The whole written thing is a downgrade from listening to a story. The original way of learning a story. It's not a downgrade. It keeps it more

accurate. Back in the day, like Bible times... Oh, I's not a downgrade like it keeps it more accurate like back in the day like Bible times Like oh, I'm not talking about accuracy of the story first It was like how many people did Jesus feed with that bread and those fish and they were like? I don't know like must have been at least 11 and then over time it gets to the point where it's like you see fed A ton of them they're like well how much I don't know the guy who told me this story didn't say had to be they Wouldn't made a big deal out of it any less than five thousand I agree with you about oral tradition and there being discrepancies but roy detrese isn't part of some oral tradition he didn't get told this by some guy who got told it by some guy he's

reading the fucking book to you yeah i just i don't know maybe some people are different i guess i know some people are different with how they absorb information but i get way more of the full story when i'm reading sitting down i can go at my own pace if like a paragraph if I have difficulty picturing it or if I do what I often do which is I get like halfway through a paragraph and I'm like picturing it and then I imagine something cool and I start like building my own side

story and then I get a few more lines down I'm like fuck that's not even happening what am I even reading anymore I'm just in my own head yeah I have to go back can't do that with audiobooks as well I do when he's reading as well. I do. When he's reading it to me, I feel like the timing is perfect. In my head,

his timing is perfect because he's telling the story orally. He's reading it and then conveying it like a performance. Whereas if I'm reading it, maybe my timing, my reading speed isn't feeding my brain fast enough or maybe it's feeding my brain too quickly with details I I love listening to him read it I remember and it goes back to like my mother reading me stories and I always loved in

school when the teacher would read stories that was my favorite stuff um I like listening to other people read that's that's definitely my thing I would probably haven't gotten more out of it if I read it myself. Like Taylor, I just feel like my comprehension is a little higher than it would be listening. Especially the way I listened where I was always driving or mowing or doing some other task.

I don't know. Sometimes I'd be busy and then I'd say, you know what? I didn't really get the last 90 seconds, but I can't easily go back 90 seconds so we're just gonna hope that we can pick up what i lost and i also like change details in stories sometimes and it helps me what i'm reading so i can like re-establish it like so many times in books even like game of thrones they'll be like oh and uh josephson was a a stout man with a curly red beard and a purple, you know, sash around his neck.

And I'm like trying to picture that. And I'm like, no, that's not jiving with me. That's really stupid. He's going to be a little taller and he's going to have brown hair and a crest of an orca on his chest or something. And I will go through the rest of the story picturing that. crest of an orca on his chest or something like and i will go through the rest of the story picturing that or when i first read about the twins like the that uh the phrase castle there that bridges that big uh river i didn't like the way they described that and so i had to like sit down and like build it in my head first of like that's what it would really be like you know and

then move forward because the way they described something. Do you guys do that? Like you put your own little things? I'll read a name incorrectly and then just keep reading it incorrectly for the next 9,000 pages. Like his name is Plebeon. And his name is like Peter. But I'll just fucking Plebeon forever here in so many times. That happens with all – like in tech sometimes. I'll read about the new like the McDouble Core Intel processor. And it the new, like, you know, the McDouble Core Intel processor. And it's like, all right, it's the McDouble Core.

Yeah, I got it. Yeah, the McDouble Core. And then it's like the McDirth or something. Like, yeah, right. I never really did look at the second half of that word very carefully. That's a thing. Because I read by learning. A lot of times I learn by reading.

I will just have mispronunciations filtered in there for way longer than you might guess. Well, I think our friends at Audible would disagree with both of you. I think they would say that an audiobook is the only way to really absorb a book properly at audible.com slash pka. Get your free book now.

They're not even sponsoring this show. They're not. You can still get a free book though. You should get that free book. Yeah, go get the free book. Check it out. I bet the deal's there. Let us know which one is better. I think we should call it right there.

I think we've been about four hours. I've enjoyed this show. I like Josh. I think we talked about a lot of cool stuff. Okay, then. All right. Painkiller already. Episode 269.

I hope you like our new backdrop. Made possible by Patreon. Sign up, and we'll get backdrops and shit even better we'll handcuff one of one random fan to wings of redemption for a week for a chance to win a corvette that's that and other lies next week on