Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #285

Episode Date: June 10, 2016

This week on PKA, Overtflow aka PJ joins the guys and he shares stories about fighting Kung Fu Master's and his time working for Gamestop, while Woody recaps us with his latest in flying machine aviation and Taylor shares some hilarious stories from his time at camp.

live painkiller already episode 285 with our guest pj kyle hello there we want to thank our sponsors dollar shape club and mvmt's also known as movement watches we're gonna be talking about them later on in the show but uh for now let's talk to our guests a little bit we were talking a little bit before the show i know where this is going i know right we're going right there aren't we wait tell me tell me where we're going. Because I don't know. I was just going to kind of bullshit a little bit, but you seem to have an idea. I totally want to hear Woody's side first, and then I'll tell you where I was coming from. So I don't know. Tell me if I get anything wrong.

But I think I had recently maybe grappled with Joe or something, and then this high school state wrestler, if I recall correctly, wanted to grapple with Joe or something. And then this high school state wrestler, if I recall correctly, wanted to grapple with me. And I didn't reply to him. The truth is this. He's like, hey, Woody, I want to grapple with you. I want to grapple. I didn't say a thing. When I saw him and realized I outweighed him by like 25 pounds,

I'm like, yeah, okay, I'll do it. But PJ, on the other hand, says, hey, Woody, I'd like to grapple with you too. I outweigh you by 25 pounds and i'm a purple belt in brazilian jiu-jitsu would you like to roll and in my head i'm like no no no no no not at all no i like how it changed because we don't know about this secret challenge we just know about the one that you flouted about of this ah, this coward. You know, you think you can take me down from no challenge. And then some dude who's bigger is like, actually, I've been doing this for like six years.

And yeah, I'm down to go, respectfully. And you're like, I have time. It wasn't actually the size. If he had said, Woody, hey, you know what? I think it'd be fun. I weigh 225 or whatever it is you weighed at the time uh i probably would have said yes it was the purple belt if people don't know like in brazilian jiu-jitsu purple doesn't sound like a good one is it it all belts are good in jits like belts are hard to get you know in most of the other sports there are martial arts i should say

black belts come if you do it for years, too, or something like that. And then they have all these levels of black belts. You're like 7th Dan or something like that. I'm sort of outside my expertise, but in Jits, if you get a couple belts into it, you're fucking legit. Like Joe Lozon until two years ago was a purple belt. Really?

Uh-huh. That's so much different. I took karate when i was seven and i remember after my first day of breaking a piece of balsa wood the guy came by with my white belt that they handed out to everyone from a big just you know old cardboard box filled with you know the scattered dreams of at the end of that day, one day, 25 minutes in the class, broke a piece of balsa wood, and he put two little pieces of tape around my white belt. And at that moment, at like seven years old, I'm like, I did nothing to earn this.

I don't have respect for any of these colored belts. You just showed up and paid more than my mom did so far. So, yeah, I dropped that class very quickly when I learned that swords weren't when they said that swords would not be a part of it that I told my mom I was gonna quit karate and that's all my MMA training I think that's badass if I learned that swords were part of it I think that I would quit too I would do the opposite I got swords right behind me like I got all the practice stuff to totally did that stuff. I would do the opposite. I got swords right behind me. Like I got all the practice stuff too.

Totally did that stuff as well. I do the whole Jujutsu MMA thing. But then during winter, I always take a few months off and just do like really, really crappy Shaolin stuff. So that even though I'm not going to gouge your eyes out in combat, and I don't think that works 99% of the time, I feel like it's grounding. It makes me feel good.

Can you break a flower pot with like two fingers from an inch away? I can break a flower with two fingers. It's over for that flower. Is that like a testament to strength? It's just the kind of shit they do. Like, alright, watch me get this

flower pot. Poke. You rip that tiny strip of skin off from between my eyes really fast. Like, you destroy me in a battle. Could you do that? So I have a quick story for you guys about that, about Kung Fu versus Jiu-Jitsu. If you want to hear it, there's this.

I would love to tell it, but I do stories on my. I'm going to bet on the Jiu-Jitsu guy. Guess what? I do stories, like, on my channel. I haven't told this one yet so this is pka exclusive but probably about a year ago i was training at a kung fu place just for a few months you know and everybody there knows that i come there every winter to kind of like relax and goosefraba and chill out from getting punched in the face i don't like that stuff man i'm beautiful i want to keep it that way that's a joke but no i do go and train kung fu you know

every winter and i go there and there's literally this like 60 year old dude Maybe late 50s, but he's like the master kung fu guy there like super master everybody bows him He's the man and when you walk by him He's like oh hello, and he'll go to shake your hand and then when you go to shake it He's like huh see you were totally not on guard there there. I'm on guard. I'm shaking your hand, bro.

That's the guy, right? That's the guy I've been training his whole life. Just a little bit meaner. He actually would hit you when he would do this stuff. He'd tap your nuts and smack your face and super rude. What a dick. Woody would shoot that man. That guy's been getting bowed to for far too long. He needs a crack

at the side of his head. I have to say that he's not amazing, far too long. He needs a crack at the side of his head. That's my girl! I'm not going to say that he's not amazing, because he is. He's very good. But either way, he knows that I do jiu-jitsu. I started boxing when I was 8, started jiu-jitsu when I was 15, and I've been wrestling my whole life. I'm 24 now. So either way, I go there, and he's telling me every time I go there,

I go there like every winter just for a few months, and every time he's like, hey, man, just or he's like Asian. I'm not going to do an Asian accent because that is so terrible. And mine is just terrible. If anybody if Woody wants to do an Asian accent for me and then turn an Indian, I'd be down for that. This is my Asian accent. But he's like, you know, jujitsu, it's BS, dude. It's BS.

Jujitsu doesn't work. BS. And I was like, okay. And he's like, if you tried to double leg me right now, I would stop you before you got to me. I was like, okay. And so I put up with this for every year when I go there, right? Every year he tells me this.

Just let him get a little older every year, waiting for your time to strike. That's the plan. Let him kind of like just fade away a little bit more. More of attrition yeah that's i win that one but either way one day we are doing like a grappling class and i'm helping teach it because obviously i know more jujitsu and grappling than those other guys and he comes up to me on the man he's like double legs don't work i'm telling you i don't even know why they do this class it's bs unless you want to learn how to stop it that's the only reason to do this class

he's like try to double like me and like after him being very persistent i decide all right i'll double leg this 60 year old man i'll do it okay i will have two thank you so the first try he's like go ahead and try i shoot i double leg him i lift him up into the air after i get him into the air he like starts like throwing elbow strikes at the back of my head a little bit he's like see i would have stopped you and i was like you're already in the air he like starts throwing elbow strikes at the back of my head a little bit he's like see I would have stopped you and I was like you're already in the air you would have been over there what do you mean?

the battle's been lost he didn't realize you had complete ownership of it you already lost bro so he's like do it again so I go again I'm like alright I'm gonna chill for a second I pick up one leg scoop the other one lift him up into the air again he's like I would throw strikes at your head this whole time i was like i just i don't i don't think so

the third time i go in as i go in and i double like him he takes his two fingers and stuffs them up my nose and pulls my nose up like hard right so i don't start like my nose doesn't get ripped off or anything but he pulls it up hard until my head's back and he's like see this i can rip your nose off right now and i was like all right you win just die with my nose in your hand you old idiot i don't understand but i think everything's very good to learn a little bit of each art, or just like everything in life. I think it's good to be well-rounded. But gosh dang, dude.

I think he's intimidated by the fact that jiu-jitsu is so clearly the superior form. Like, there's a whole league where, like, everybody in the UFC, it's like, oh, he's a jiu-jitsu guy, and he has this, that, and the other. Like, it seems like all of them could do it to an extent, because it's so difficult to deal with. It's like finding out that the religion that you were totally into is bullshit when you're like 79, and you're like, God damn it, well, in for a penny, in for a pound, I suppose.

It's got to ride this one out. There's a couple martial arts that have proven to be more legit than others. Jiu-jitsu is obviously one of them. Muay Thai, American boxing, wrestling. There's a couple. There's a couple of them that are legit. Kung Fu is often put in that other category of bullshito.

I took Kung Fu for a while. I don't talk about it much. The guy said that he fought in the UFC, my Kung Fu instructor. And I always was asking him who he fought. I googled. I can't find any record that this guy

was ever in the UFC. And he's like, ah, I was in the tryouts. I just missed getting on TV. And I don't think that's even a thing in the early UFC days. He knew a guy who might have been in the UFC. Or he maybe fought a tough man competition because they have those everywhere. We're just like good old boys getting a ring and go at it.

It could be. Like he was a physical specimen. Like he looked really fit. Not like amazing or anything, but he was fit. But my experience with meeting these guys who are like, oh, you know, Master Saison is coming around and he's 16th Dan. I'd be like, whoa, I can't wait to see this shit i'm expecting them to be like jet lee they never are they're 67 years old they've got big fucking pot bellies i'm like aren't you embarrassed to don the fucking karate pajamas with that physique of yours and uh yeah they move like wicked slow and there's like

nothing it's all gone that's so embarrassing like why do they even, like, wicked slow, and there's, like, nothing. It's all gone. That's so embarrassing. Like, why do they even pretend? Retire, man. You don't see baseball players doing that. Like, getting out there and, like, holding the bat and, like, sizing it up and acting like they're going to hit a few dingers. They know it's over.

Yeah. Hypothetically acting like they could hit home runs any time they wanted, but I'm not going to because, you know, if I showed you my home run bits then you know i would kill you it's like instead of like pointing out is this a guy like nah and then going for it i didn't want it anyway you know i could have called it you know i could have called it every time it's yeah i can't believe an old man had his fingers in your nose and thought that was an appropriate way to show that his kung fu was better. You can find that six ways from Sunday on fucking LiveLeak or WorldStarHipHop, and none of those people know anything about kung fu.

I disapprove of your restraint, PJ. Like, if he had, I think it's called toe truck, right? That's the move? If he had toe trucked me, I think I would have finished one of those double legs or something. I'm not going to kill an old guy, Woody, okay? This is exactly why I called you out four years ago on the grappling thing. Because of this attitude right here.

No, to finish off that grappling thing, though, about the whole... I want to say this. I was like 19 at the time, or maybe 20, I don't remember, but you were totally pub-stomping all those dudes. For some reason, as if I'm the grand poobah right right as if i'm that guy of grappling like you have to you have to answer to me woody because you're not as serious as i am i'm i'm competing in tournaments and fighting well you know you're just beating up little kids and for some reason 19 year old me thought that making a video like that would A, give me to talk to Woody, who I love a lot.

B, would get me to, I don't know, grapple possibly Woody. And C, would prove that I'm the champion of all things grapply. Okay? I don't know. All right. I'm sorry. I think C would. A couple of those would have happened.

You would have met me. You would have proven yourself to be champion. But that's it. But who am I? Nobody. Like, I don't know. What would have happened, though, is you would have showed up to the paintball event, beat Woody in that grappling contest, and then Woody would have walked back into our special room with AC and drinks, and you would have walked back to a hot picnic table.

And Woody would have been like, man, thought I could have had him. Not the guy I used to be, I guess. And that would have been the end of it. But you'd be back there, you know, just like a post-Game 7 mentality. Nice aflame. I don't know. What a pompous, douchey thing to do.

I don't know. I figured because that was such a small channel at the time, nobody would care. But also I was like, hey, hey, here's this guy doing jujitsu and I'm better. What's going on here? I don't know. I figured because I was such a small channel at the time, nobody would care. But also I was like, hey, here's this guy doing Jiu-Jitsu and I'm better. What's going on here? I don't know. I have no idea. I'm probably not even better. Including Woody, but I think Woody would have won this because what you don't know about Woody is Woody fights dirty. You think getting a few fingers in your nose is off-putting?

He's going to put them somewhere else if things get rough. Hair pulling, groin stuff. Checking his oil. Yeah, he's going to check the oil. No get rolling going stop but checking his oil yeah he's gonna check the oil no yeah it's gonna be game I'm gonna win it's because he appears to have some sort of respect for older people so maybe maybe that's my. I'm sure that PJ is well prepared for his oil being checked considering he was in wrestling for so long. He probably –

Has anyone tried that? Have you ever seen like a squid eat something where it like goes – then it sucks it back in? That's the strategy is he's reaching out almost like it's like some phalanges and he pulls the thumb in. Suddenly you're on his turf. He doesn't mind. You think you're checking my mind. I got your thumb.

I got a grip on that thing. Now you're stuck. You've lost. Now you've got his hand trapped in your ass. You get the other one trapped and you just slam him. How does that work? He can just twist it around.

Like an anaconda. Right there. Right? And he's around for a while. It's just you suck in the arm, you get him, and quick twist, arm break immediately. It's true. I learned it from the Kung Fu guy.

It's an arm bar you don't see in the UFC. Is this a real? PJ, you're an actual wrestler. You competed in it. Is that something that you came across multiple times? Because when Woody was leading us to believe a while back that this was like par for the course in wrestling, I think

Kyle might have been more knowledgeable about it than me, but I was like, no fucking way like this can't be real, and it turns out that it is. Like, what's your experience with it? No, it's happened to me a few times happened to me a few times, but not as prevalent as you may think, Mirka, because if it happens three out of 1,000 matches, it's not that prevalent.

Yeah, it's not. But I do notice that you guys get really – you're in those onesies or whatever anyway. It's a very form-fitting outfit, the singlet. And then I see that they get really handsy around the crotch area. And I get that that's a good – like when I'm moving mannequins around, I move a lot of mannequins around, I always get them by the crotch. That's like the center of gravity. It's a great place to manipulate. It's a lifting point. You don't have to sell us.

I do the same thing. But it makes me very uncomfortable to see it happening in, like, wrestling competition. And as a kid, I can't imagine being, like, I guess, like, good wrestlers get into it when they're five, seven years old. I can't imagine being a seven-year-old and seeing, like, a couple of guys, like, really manhandling each other's crotches and slamming each other and being like, ah, that's for me. The wrestling just never appealed to me. It's my kink. Like, multiple things about it. The singlet, the really closeness to the

other man at least with boxing boxing seems to be all about get away from me you god damn it but like wrestling is like come here i want you close boy like it is the gayer of the two combat sports if you look at it that way like the wrestler wants you as close as possible he wants to smell your ear but the boxer is is just, keep your fucking distance, bro. I don't want you too close. I don't think it's gayer unless you're in there wrestling. You're just like 0 and 600. And they're like, God, this Tommy guy loves to always turn it over for the competition.

If it ever went in this match, that'd be pretty gay. If it's clear that Tommy's just trying to take one of these guys home. But if you're trying to win and it just so happens that you're rubbing up against each other. I feel like every grappler just overtly knows that it's gay and has come to accept it and will make a

joke about it. I had a guy, a mounted triangle is a move where you really just stick your nutsack right on the guy's chin. And I had a guy who was a bouncer and he just stick your nutsack right on the guy's chin. And I had a guy who was a bouncer and he said he always hits mounted triangles on

people that he wants to embarrass. Did I say he was a bouncer? I think I just did. And that was like his go-to thing. Like, get the thing, manage to hit a mounted triangle, and that guy's there choking having his blood strangled away from his brain. At the bar. Just so everyone understands. At the bar. In so everyone understands. At the bar.

In my imagery, he got him outside before he did that. But I don't know. He didn't actually include that. No, he wants everyone to see. If you're a bouncer who spends his off-time training in the martial arts, you're not going to take him outside. You're going to be like, hey, everybody, watch this shit. This is his show.

I'm going to not teabag you. Yeah. And I feel like he just, yeah, it's it's gay you're gonna have to get over that and then you can't come back against it like you can't indulge the insult like if someone's like ah wrestling that's gay you have to be like ah you know i love it yeah that's the only response like You can't argue sports with people because at the end of the day you can always be like, oh baseball, just a bunch of idiots who aren't even that athletic with a bat hitting a ball and it crosses some arbitrary line and then you run around and throw it. Hockey, you're on ice, why not just a field?

Like you can't. They're all dumb. You can never win a sports argument with anyone. But the beautiful thing about the argument with jujitsu is you can just they're all done you can never win a sports argument with anyone but the beautiful thing about the the argument with jujitsu is you could just say fight me you're gay fight me yeah fuck me this is yeah either way either way or try to it's not as gay as wrestling that big wrestling is much more gay because of the limitations that wrestling put on you you you have to be even gayer.

It's like, no, no, no, don't hit him. I know you've got him in a position where you could beat him to death right now, but you've got to keep going. You've got to really get him out flat. That's what we want to see here. And you're just like, why? Why don't you just hit him? Why isn't that part of wrestling?

Well, because that's part of the wrestling. That makes sense, though. That's like being the best right there. Why doesn't he just knock out the catcher and then bunt it every time? That is foolproof. Why don't you just hit him? No, flip him over and hit him with your groin. That's how you do it in wrestling.

Something that had a big impact on me, I worked with this wrestler, and for whatever reason we were, like, horsing around at the office because I'm immature like that. And he got, like, a high crotch grab on me. And I'm like, dude, that's good. Yeah, the office because I'm immature like that. And he got like a high crotch grab on me. And I'm like, dude, that's gay. Yeah, at the office. I'm like, that's gay. And I do have an office wrestling story to tell.

And he's like, well, if we were ever in a fight, that's an advantage I would have over you. Your unwillingness to grab people in the high crotch would be, you know, it would have over you. You know, your unwillingness to grab people in the high crotch would be, you know, it would work against you. And it somehow burned into my brain, like, you know, that is undeniable logic. Bullshit. Bullshit. No.

Okay, first of all, in a real-world fight, in a real-world fight, if I'm rolling around on the ground with some guy in a dark parking lot at the mall, which is the most likely scenario, yeah yeah of course there are no rules if I can get my finger in his eye socket I'm probably gonna do something awful but like like we're horsing around the office Larry no high crotch grabs you fucking asshole or I'm gonna call HR I'm worse than you twice this is the last time oh that's not a knife that's yeah that's not a knife. That's a knife. Yeah, that's not a knife, Mirka.

This is a knife. So, dude, get this. I'm trying to remember the whole escalation, right? It's late at night by working at the office standards. Call it like 11 p.m. And I'm going away, and I don't want to be there. I have something due. I'm working at 11, not home yet.

It's not a good vibe for me. And for whatever reason, one of my coworkers starts annoying me. He's putting fingerprints on my monitor. And I'm like, dude, stop. Stop. You're putting fingerprints on it. Middle finger in the IT world. How do you like that?

So I'm typing and he'll move my mouse and click and something, fuck it up. And it's like a child fucking with me. More than once I verbally asked him to stop. And then he escalates again. And he makes his finger wet, and then puts fingerprints on my monitor. And it's... While you're sitting there? Yeah, while I'm actively

working, he's putting fingerprints in the section of the monitor that I'm... You can see where I'm typing. What an insane power play from Scott. Those are fighting... I'm glad you said that, because that was my response. Was this for your Indian co-worker?

No, no. It was an American guy. His name was Mike. And we were actually like friends. Like we went to lunch a lot. But in this instance, ooh, I have another I got bullied story. Which happened like this weekend. In this instance, you know, was like you know what like the

friendship is suspended right now you are picking on me so right from my office chair i hit a double leg and then with my back against the filing cabinet i managed to take his back sink in the rear naked choke and he tapped and went home for the night. A little bit gay. And he never touched Woody's brain. He never did. No. Never touched. Not while you were there. His nutsack was all over your keyboard and everything. He just opened up your world to a whole world of subversive bullying

and pranks. No way, Mike, for hours that I wasn't there. He was on that keyboard. Dude, so here. I have an am I wasn't there. Jim's on that keyboard. Dude, so here, I have an am I the asshole story. I need some help with this. And I will

preface it by saying I might be the asshole because this has happened to me twice now, right? Or you tell us the story on whether you're the asshole or not. What's that? I didn't hear his words. Can we take bets on whether we think going ahead go ahead uh i'm gonna take i'm gonna bet anything that woody's the asshole

because going into something if you're already prefacing it that you might be the asshole you're probably the asshole you might be the asshole indicative if you're asking a question if you're an asshole that you kind of know you're an i'm gonna say that woody is an asshole but only in retaliate he's being a retaliatory asshole. Like someone else was an asshole first, and because of that, Woody became an asshole. So I vote double assholes. PJ? You guys are both bullies, let me just say that right now.

I think Woody's a very kind guy in most situations, but in this one, I think he might end up being the a-hole, bro. Alright, alright, so you'll tell me when the story's done, and I will do my best to tell it without bias. So- oh so i messed up the wrong camera anyway back on topic uh we're at the we're in the airplane and i have the middle seat i'm not sitting next to hope she's behind me and uh this guy comes in i don't know where he's like colombian or something he's got some string like one centimeter thick braided headband on and long floppy like quibble cop hair and uh oh you're the good guy then in this one uh classic columbian

yeah he's like columbian anyway um i'm in the i'm in the middle seat and i have my arms on the arm rests but only like the back fifth of it like i'm intentionally not taking all the armrests, but only like the back fifth of it. Like I'm intentionally not taking all the armrests. And he comes down and he pulls this like power play move where he like leans his shoulder into me, bumps my whole arm off and puts his arm on the armrest. He has taken the spot that I previously had. I want a quick fact and honesty check. You said you were taking up one fifthfifth of the armrests.

I don't see how that's possible unless you were sitting like this. That is exactly how I was sitting. And I left like 80%. In front of me, I left – 80% checks out. All right. Continue. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So anyway, and I'm only – like my arm is in. I might have a book or something, but I'm just barely touching the back of it. And he pushes my arm off the armrest, but not with just his elbow. It's a whole shoulder kind of like, you know, that he leans over to me, takes like 10% of my chair

temporarily, and then goes back and now suddenly, as the tide sweeps into the ocean, he's got the armrest. He has full possession of it. And I'm like – He came in, took a little bit of Poland, and at the end of the war left and acted like you wouldn't know. You didn't go back to where you started. And so in retaliation, what did you do?

Did you, like, eat his ear? I'll tell you where we're headed with this. I am at first, like, shocked by this move. And I'm burning in my head, like, does he know what he just did is this an intentional move from that's a train start yeah and so anyway he leans forward he wants to put his bag under the seat in front of him or something like that so he's given up possession of the of the armrest again yeah yeah so I reclaim it while he's gone, right? And now, again, just back 20%. Just back 20% and I'm there.

But this time I'm fucking locked, right? Like it's gonna take like two, three, yeah, yeah. It's gonna take like 200 pounds of pressure to move my elbow one goddamn inch because I have this thing. Like I am nobody's fucking victim and certainly not this Colombian douchebag so you're not even relaxing on the armrest oh just spite Samson trying to push the temple there it's fucking locked in and whatever so he comes back and he tries his move again but this time his move fails right it's not going anywhere and he tries his move again, but this time his move fails,

right? It's not going anywhere. And he just, and it's like more than one. It's like, like he's up against a fucking marble column at this point. There's, there's no moving this elbow. And, uh, and then he starts talking to me about it. He's like, Hey, you know, can you move your elbow? How did he sound? Um, like hey you know can you move your elbow how did he sound um it was like you know hey did you want to move your elbow and uh you got to be moving this elbow i have a bagel he's like bane so anyway uh he asked me to move my elbow and i'm like i'm only taking the very back of the armrest you You can have all the front. I'm trying to share it, but that's where we are.

And he goes, hey, I'll tell you what, why don't you take the front and I'll take the back. And I said, because I was here first. And he goes, what is this, high school? Like, because you're here first, that's your rules? Right, and he's trying to make me feel like a dick, but I don't know what his rule is at all. You know, I'm taking it because I'm there first.

Admittedly, perhaps immature for someone as old as me. But, you know. How old is this gentleman? I'm going to call him 35. Still an adult. Okay. Yeah. So, anyway, like, his reasoning, I guess, is just, I deserve the shit you have.

Right? You know, my reasoning, I'll admit, not the soundest, most mature I was here first, but what's his? Armrest socialist. He wants to redistribute that armrest. Guess what? He gets the back part. And, you know, truth, front, back, I didn't really care. What I did care about is this fuck's opening move was pushing me off the armrest altogether.

That is not allowed. What do they call it when Russia went into Ukraine and just kind of took it? What do they call that? Annexation. Yeah, he was going to annex your fucking armrest. Yeah, not on my watch, bitch. So, um... Damn straight I am. So anyway, he's like, what is this?

High school? And I'm like, but why would the armrest be yours? I'm giving you the front. I'm on the back. You know, what do do you want he wants to split the armrest down the middle right but I think what he really wants is just where my arm was like you know and uh and I'm like the front half of an armrest the armrest is an inch thick right I don't understand how you can even share okay and put your arm around him. Just put your arm around him like he's a date. Like, yeah, this is much better. Come here.

Like, hold him pretty close. So anyway, he says that we should both split the armrest along the side. Oh, this is a good part. So he says, you know, this is not my same flight. This is not my first flight. that's what he tells me. And I told him, you know, I'm a pilot. Which isn't true, right? But...

Well, this took a turn, okay. It's gonna be true soon though with your little weird chair. It'll barely be true. I'll be some sort of lawn chair aviator. But I'm a pilot. Well, you're sitting in the wrong chair, sir. But I wanted to somehow,

like, I wanted to take back like this isn't his high in my head there was this whirlwind of like dude if you're bragging about how many times you've flown probably less than me when you get to the stage where you'd rather not fucking fly at all you're on my level you know it when he's like you know i've flown before well that's quite the accomplishment you fucking colombiandealing douchebag dickwad. I'm not impressed with the fact that he had flown before and thought that he perhaps knew the rules of armrest etiquette better than I did. So with that, somehow he's like, you know what? You can have the armrest all flight long.

You can have the entire armrest and uh and i won't touch it at all and i'm like i'm not trying to be because at this point i no longer feel bullied and i said i'm not trying to be a jerk here like i i'm happy to share the armrest you know what was the tone of you saying this were you like hey hey this isn't over look at me what i'm talking to you no no no it wasn't like that it was what he said talking to you. No, no, no. It wasn't like that. It was what he said. Trying to walk away and Woody was dragging him down. Get the fuck over here. When he said, you know,

take the whole armrest the whole time. I don't care. I was like, well, I'm not trying. I said, I'm not trying to be the bad guy. I'm not trying to be the bad guy here. You know, I just, you know, you pushed me off the armrest. You tried to, like, force it from me. And that wasn't happening.

Now I don't like it because he gave you the armrest, but you kept the conversation going. Now it's like a 17th century cotillion where it's like, oh, you have it. Oh, I shan't. Pretty much. So we somehow agreed to share the armrest. And in reality, I think I took way back. So maybe I lowered it to 5% or 10% of the back inch. My arm still existed there, but he was able to have what you might consider the back two. Still a statistically significant portion of the arm.

And then throughout most of the flight, it seemed like he stopped caring about the armrest. He didn't really use it. He was in the aisle. I couldn't go anywhere else. I was in the middle seat. Middle seat gets both. I've heard that argument before. That's how it works. Because the middle seat has nothing else going for it.

Exactly. Everybody else has a little something extra. In the aisle, you can get out there on the window. You can lay your head down. On my last flight, I had the window, and I was being real careful to stay off this lady's armrest. And she was like, you can have the armrest. And I was like, really? Thank you. I was like, that's nice of you, because it's yours if you want it. She's like, oh, no.

And I would try to move out of her way. She's like, take it. Get in there. All right, so you've heard the whole story and i've tried to tell it as unbiased as i am i the in this thing because it worries me a little bit that i've been in this situation twice i am the i didn't see that coming no it was no of course not yeah you're totally in the clear on this i think you're in the clear surely because the guy is like shoving you around and all you really did was like hold your ground the next time it came around and you know

He was when he when he is what is this high school. You should be like yeah, you want swirly you fucker Lines like that ran in my head afterwards. Did you get your ass kicked a lot in high school? Cuz then yes, this is like high school. You like pulling a George Costanza. You're like yeah, well I slept with your wife likely yeah well i slept with your wife so i just got off the phone with the jerk store and there how are you but yeah no i actually want because the fact that this has happened to me twice now makes me feel like you know am i like am

i doing something here what uh on uh it's always thanks uh frank's uh alter ego is mantis toboggan. Frank's alter ego is Mantis toboggan, and he claimed to be a doctor and a pilot on the flight. I think that you are... I was going into it thinking you were going to be way more of the asshole in it, but you get a huge amount of leeway for being in that middle seat in coach. You know? Because at the...

I don't know if it's the three aisle more than the middle, but I know most people like the aisle and the window more than the middle. Yeah, definitely superior. It needs some work to the middle. It's understandable that you would take both armrests. The middle gets nothing. For one thing, you're

squished between two people, right? Like... You can't lean anywhere, either. You can't lean? You've gotta stay straight up and down. You can't even really stretch. Or... You have to do that bullshit where, like, you know how your delta chair, you can hit that button and it goes back 8-16ths or half-inch.

Like, and then you have to, like, basically lean back, hope that one of the people next to you hasn't leaned back, so there's a small little jut out where the seat is, and you just kind of... A more precarious sleeping surface than when Frodo and Sam are climbing up Minas Morgul there, trying not to fall, and you're just...

Oh, fuck, okay. And they stop at the next seat and lean back. Dude, United has new seats. So I don't know. Both of the flights that we had, the seats were only, like, three inches thick. And it's made a huge impact on the legroom. Like, I don't like United. This is not an endorsement.

But I'm used to plain seats being, like, a good, like good 8 to 11 inches thick almost, right? Like they're big padded things. These were narrow little like race car seats or something. That doesn't sound like a good thing to me. I'm sorry. I strongly approved of it. Yeah, I didn't feel like I was missing padding at all, and I definitely gained the leg room. Interesting.

So I'm about to start flying a lot, and I'm scared to death because I had a near-death experience with planes before. I don't know why you rolled your eyes. Do you believe it? It's a silly fear. It's a pretty sensitive way to talk about 9-11. I've had it with my cousin a lot, and I've talked about this a lot with him, and it frustrates me to know when people are afraid of flying. It scares me because of two reasons. One, I don't like heights and two, when I was, so I used to go, my family is from back east, I'm Italian and Mexican so I got a lot of family in New York, New Jersey and I got a lot of family in Mexico and Texas, right?

I'm very, I'm very got this natural glow about me so I'm sure you guessed the Mexican part, right? I thought you were pregnant, not Mexican. You're very festive. Super festive right okay so so anyways I'm about to start flying because I'm going to like I'm going to start going to the convention and stuff like PAX and fight people there I'm going to E3 in a couple weeks. As you do. As you do going to Hawaii in like a month or whatever so I'm going to start flying this year again. But I literally haven't flown since I've been like maybe 14. And the reason why is because I was on a plane, right, flying.

And through the air as planes fly, right, apparently there was a small – and I'm kind of mad at Woody for this. There was a small off-the-radar plane like Woody's is going to buy, right, flying towards us. They didn't see it on the radar. Apparently they is he's gonna buy right flying towards us they didn't see on the radar apparently they came over the loudspeaker they were like there's a plane that's not on radar flying towards us so we're gonna have to do some stuff make sure everybody has their seat belts on and blah blah whatever and so what happened i'm gonna let you guys know that i might have peed myself okay for real you actually honestly peed yourself at 14 no no no this actually

happened before i was 14 14 was the last time i flew but this happened when i was like six or seven or eight somewhere in that age but it's so much more understandable that i would pee myself okay still wearing diapers at that age pretty much basically okay now we got a seven-year-old in diapers you're all kinds of fucked up at this point. He was six or seven. It's not like he's walking and talking yet, okay? Yeah, come on. He's doing both of those things.

He's on the George W. Bush model of child development. First words at nine. Basically like Albert Einstein. Almost the same. So the pilot comes over. He's like, yo, we got to do some avoiding maneuvers from this plane flying towards us. He turns off the entrance or shut whatever. Stop flying straight.

The plane drops, like, however many thousands of feet. I don't know. All right. He turns the plane completely sideways. All the luggage falls out of the overhead bins onto people. The stewardess is hanging onto a chair crying, right? Okay. Flies to the side. And finally they level out and everything. This all lasted about maybe a chair, crying, right? Okay? Flies to the side, and finally they level out and everything.

This all lasted about maybe a minute, I guess. And I've talked with my dad about this a lot, and he says it was just as terrible as I remember it. He's like, I was crying too, because I was scared that you and I were going to die. Honestly. Did they, like, did he address it afterward, or was it like 10 minutes of uneasy silence,

and then like, and we are approaching Albuquerque international airport we're going to need you to put those tray tables up and sorry about the evasive maneuvers i don't remember because i was so young i just remember us falling all that all that way and um it was super scary and then when he turned i remember all the stuff falling out of the overhead bin and my dad telling me like it's okay don't worry everything's gonna be fine and it was in the piss your pants you're looking and it's flowing down oh my god oh man truly terrible truly terrible um just like your podcast but yeah it was a horrible experience did not enjoy it and that's why i'm scared of flying because of that right

there that makes sense but i have so many at the age of five or six, I can see how you'd be iffy with flying. Like that never happened to me, obviously. Like you're still nervous the first time you fly. If you're cognizant enough, like I was like seven or something. If that's the first time you fly or at least the first time you remember. But the way I remember it was just like looking at all the adults around me and being like, none of them are scared they they know what life's all about and then that's let's do it i gave to it but you hate people who are afraid of flying my cousin is afraid of flying and like i went so far as buying him flight lessons so that he could literally fly and like he didn't show up

so i got two hours of fucking flight lessons which is a ball if you ever want to like take someone out for like i don't know some sort of father's day gift it's like 300 bucks for the afternoon get a couple hours of flight lessons because they literally let you take off and land an airplane the first day like with no training there's a person they don't let me do that sounds safe it's a real airplane too like like we you know i flew the thing to my dad's house and back she's like where do you want to go i was like i don't know over there she's like we'll take us and like she's over she's got a yoke too but like she's just hands off as long as you don't fuck up is it like when you learn to drive where that guy's next to you who can like take over and

control at any point yeah it's exactly like that yeah but i land i took off and landed and flew around uh it was really cool and i promise it wasn't like when they let dwight uh steer the ship on the office and he's got that that big fake old-timey steering wheel he's she's like come in honey it's cold he's like i can't i'm steering do you want us to run a ground woman but uh yeah but yeah i bought him the lessons. He wouldn't do the thing. Like, tried to physically take him there, and he was going to fight. So, yeah, it's been very frustrating because I've been on, I don't know how many flights. I'm not some world traveler or something,

but I've got millions of frequent flyer miles. I've got enough for a couple thousand dollars worth of flights, I think. I don't know how many flights. That sounds good. Dozens. And I've never had, there's been a couple times where it got really scary and like up and down But it's just like you got to go to that place. There's no there's no question about it There's no possibility of me not going to wherever I'm going So just accept it as part of life the same way except that a meteorite could come down and kill me or like

You know something like that could happen. Your life's always at risk to some regard. It's way easier to accept stuff that you know is not going to happen, though. Like, oh, you know, I'm just at peace with death. A meteor could hit me right now, and I couldn't even complain. It's like, yeah, fucking right. Oh, if a tiger bursts through, I'd accept my fate. A plane, you can actually imagine dying.

So here's the thing. Even if it's stupidly uncommon. I think that, oh, no, Kyle, where'd he go? He'll be back. Okay, awesome. I missed you so much for that three seconds. But I will say that flying sounds good. Like, having all those hours and being like, yeah, I flew here, I did this, and I'm excited about it.

And I've always been excited about flying. Like like it's always something that's exciting when i have i've probably flown maybe five times it's not exciting it sucks it's it's it's just a it's a place to it's a place you have to sit in just imagine forget the fact that you're in an arrow airplane like zooming across the country an aeroplane yeah you're gonna master original you're gonna be loving it so forget about that just get a Master Original, you're going to be loving it. Forget about that. Just imagine it like this. Imagine you're getting into a box that's really uncomfortable and noisy

and smells a little bad and it shakes for the next five hours and then they let you out of the box and you're in Los Angeles. I'm not excited about the flying aspect at all. Instead, I'm in a bus that's airtight with like used oxygen or something uh almost surely going to get sick a few days after this trip

and rattled around and maybe airsick oh and lucky me 20 chance that this whole thing turns into a vomit comet where i'm just like terrible oh yeah woody's the worst he gets he gets airsick uh like 20 of the time like Like he's in boats, like, like anything with motion stuff. Um, I don't get that ever. Like,

like, um, I just get really bored and sometimes for whatever reason, I'll forget to bring anything to do. And I've literally been on four hour flights with like my hands to stare at. And you start like looking at other people and like what they're doing, trying to like, trying to get in on his like iPad movie

Like come here man fucking edge in here If I could just get a paragraph or two out of this Excuse me sir. Will you turn the closed captioning on follow along? Come on. Can we share an earbud like? It's awful if you don't have anything, but yeah Don't think of them. You know what I've found myself doing when I'm really bored on planes in that same situation? And this is probably a sketchy thing to do,

and I didn't think about it until now, but if I'm really bored, I have trouble sitting still, and I have to be getting up and moving. And so even when I don't have to go to the bathroom, I just get up and we'll wander about the cabin a bit, and then just go stand in the bathroom and read all the things they say. We're like, oh, would you look at that? If I flush this, someone

in Kentucky would have a bad time. Shit like that. I got new headsets. I have these Bose headsets. I've had them for a little while. And I actually on a PKA like a year ago or something less, listed them as one of my dumb purchases because it was like $200.

I love them on this flight. They are magic, these noise-canceling headphones. I've got the Parrot ones. I would say they're the same quality. They're excellent. And mine are Bluetooth, so you can play your music through them too. But just the noise-canceling aspect of anything is remarkable. Even my electronic

earmuffs I find to be so cool. But yeah, on a plane, because the noise on a plane is that droning roar that just never ends and that murmur of people and to be able to just turn that off is very peaceful. Almost forget how dreadful it is in there. It's just like

and then you flip the switch and it goes from, and you're like, oh my God, like they fixed Earth. Like suddenly this place isn't so awful anymore. It's a whole new world.

It's pretty neat. I don't know where mine are. I'm a little upset because I didn't pay for them or anything, but they're very expensive and I don't know where they are. So you value them.

Yeah, yeah. I like them a lot. Kitty's got a pair, and I've got a pair. Hers are orange, and I think mine are black, and I have no idea where they are. But yeah, I really like those things. Yeah, my car. I have the earbud version, which is also very good, and I use those when I mow.

So it's a nice way to cancel that noise too. I don't know. Maybe it's just because I'm like a child you know when it comes to airplane flying right i think that i'm more excited you guys both did not sell me on it like the terrible shaky box that you get into and fly i like the idea of being here and like being somewhere else you know i'm saying it's all a show no you go in the box they shake you around you're not actually moving anywhere it's just a trick i can't hear you it's just a trick you're not actually going anywhere it's awful i uh it's just a trick that's amazing

it's it's always on like i guess i've i've been on a few flights where i felt like wow this is perfect i i like i've got plenty of room i'm very comfortable i have everything i want but but it's a rare a rare occurrence um it's a rare occurrence you gotta have first class it's never happening coach once yeah first class is the only way to accomplish that every now and then i'll fly first class and yes i highly recommend it it's absolutely so much better what's really lame is sometimes like i've gotten first class on like short trips like two hour three hour flights and they'll put you on a shitty plane and shitty plane first class is like identical to coach it's like the same

shit and I'm like the fuck didn't I pay 300 more dollars for this what the hell they got cokes too take their cokes away at least make theirs worse get those bitches diet coke. You're asking for all the ice in your drink, trying to run out the supply.

Here's a little tip, and I think I've said it on the show before, but when you're on a plane and you're in first class, when you ask for a beverage, they ask you what you'd like to drink. You say a can of coke. Don't say a coke, because then you get a flimsy plastic cup with eight big-ass pieces of ice, and then like three ounces maybe of coke that'll like shake

and fall off. No, you want the whole thing. The fastest melting ice of all time as well, because it's got a hole in the middle of the ice cube, which just means that it's got a ridiculous amount of surface area to immediately melt into your shitty coke. Cool the ice to cool the liquid. You don't even need to be first class to get a can of coke i've gotten a can of soda uh in coach just by throwing a fit i get a can all the time i just

asked for it i actually i'll be like hey you know can i just have the can and then when they give me the can and that plastic flimsy glass i'm like no thank you delta is trying to like run that fucking scheme that kramer and new Newman did where they're saving all those cans because they are handing those out. I don't like having the cup. I guess it's called a plastic thing. It's just that much more

shit that I have to manage. Now I'm responsible for this container of ice. I don't want that. I just want the can. If you've got a book or a tv show or something like you can't comfortably use that eighth of an inch deep cup holder and just set it there and be like oh clearly the planes never move erratically this is fine you know my luggage isn't directly below me where it could spill on electronics like no let's talk about tsa and their and their shit

oh we already did right we already talked about the shittiness of tsa yeah fuck them they're the worst what do we want to go to i want to go to a uh tried and true topic here do we want to go to some game of thrones talk do we want to talk about um clouds do you want to talk about cloud suction do we oh that was the thing i thought we were going to talk about some... Alright, so let's talk about cloud suction. So as everyone knows, Woody is an amateur paramotorist. At the very least,

he's a paramotoring enthusiast. He is soon to be a bird... He's soon to take wing. He's got his thing. He's got a badass paramotor thing. He's got his videos up and his day in the life stuff. You can see him training to learn to fly it but one of the concerns i understand is that once you do finally get all your training done you can just take off and fly through the clouds is there something called cloud suction right cloud suck yeah cloud suck

okay dude i first heard about cloud suck like a decade ago i had a co-worker at cisco who was a hang glider is it hand or hang hang right yeah he was a hang use both just hold by their head no hanging with your hand okay so he was a hang glider and he lived on the west coast and and he wasn't motored or anything so they would just chase thermals all day. Well, I didn't know much about clouds and, like, how that works. Now I spot clouds in the sky, and it's like, holy shit, that one is totally frightening. Like, you need to have a wide berth. He was telling me about it. He's like, people get sucked up at 4,000 feet per minute.

Oh, my God. Dude, process that in your head that's oh my god that's 50 miles an hour I don't even know what that is that's 50 miles an hour is what that is dude yeah it would sounds like a thing that wind would go left behind where everybody just starts going it's like because you're just you're like i guess this is the rapture

yeah right no it's a problem you get sucked up at 4 000 feet per minute and um it's invisible right now you can identify the clouds like above it but the the cloud is flat on the bottom and it's very puffy on the top almost and if it's really bad it almost looks like a um like a mushroom cloud you know as it like sucks i believe it's a cumulonimbus cloud it is a cumulonimbus nicely done that's true and uh uh anyway so but like in my head i thought that the suck started at the cloud like before i knew anything about this it made sort of sense to me like oh yeah if this cloud's sucking then just stay out of the cloud no the cloud, like before I knew anything about this. It made sort of sense to me, like, oh yeah, if this cloud's sucking, then just stay out of the cloud. No, the cloud is the dew point. The cloud's a-sucking, don't come fucking.

I was wondering where you were gonna head with that. So, yeah. So people will just be like flying around at more reasonable altitudes, and then find themselves getting sucked in the sky at 4,000 feet per minute. And it's freezing up there. They go unconscious because there's no oxygen up there.

Right? Like, sometimes they come to later just, like, flying, like, oh, shit. All right. Miles from where they started. Where was I? Yeah, miles from where they started. And then you're just asleep, freezing to death,

with a parachute above you and a Dyson fan on your back sitting in the aftermath of some weird fucking Willy Wonka knockout pit run. Now, the paramotor that I have is especially tricky. So the thing is, like a hang glider, you can control your speed. You have a much bigger speed range. Those things go 50 miles an hour, maybe more, 70. And a lot of times they can either get out of the cloud at the side or even go down against it but I'm kind of slow like it's low and slow it has some other cool things but in terms of like being able to escape cloud suck you can't do it it's not made for that it you just don't enter it. How do you escape?

The quickest way to get down is to do a spiral. Apparently, people only have six to eight spirals in them. I've never done it, so I don't know for sure. Are you going to lose consciousness? Is that it? You pull too many Gs. You're hardcore. You want to tense up

and do those breathing exercises like the Air Force teaches you. tense up and do those breathing exercises like the Air Force teaches you. Yeah, yeah, fuckin' like ball up, do those breathing exercises. And you better be doing 20 G's by the time it's over, cause if you get sucked up, you're gonna black out and you're gonna die. So he says you do that for a little bit and see if it helps. Like maybe you adjust at the bottom of it.

If that doesn't work, then you go in sideways. And he's like, take a breath, look where you are, and find where the nearest exit is you know you don't want to go deeper into the cloud you want it's all just blue it's all gray yeah and these clouds like from the side they look nice they're like white and puffy and they're cool terrifying and my hang glider friend was like no that cloud is a monster and it's gray and it's ugly and i I'm like, it is clearly just a puffy, fun thing. He's like, you're not under it. You're looking at it from the side and the sun shining on it. If you were under that thing, you'd be fucked.

And he's like, people look at the sky. They have no idea. What's up? Does your wife know about cloud suck? Oh, yeah, she does. No. wife know about CloudSuck? Oh, yeah, she does.

No. She needs to be sitting right next to you right now while we discuss CloudSuck. I guarantee by next week we'd have that motor mounted on like a fan boat or something. You know what? I'm really into fan boating now. The whole family could come.

There'd be a whole new organization like Mothers Against Cloud Suck. That sounds so scary, man. So there's two things that really sound scary to me. There's a whole subreddit. I can't remember what it's called, but it's about the fear of things in the dark, murky waters. There's lots of very unsettling and discomforting gifs and images of dark underwater stuff and things falling deep into the water or looking down at an oil rig's legs and stuff like that. So falling into the abyss, that movie The Abyss, falling into deep, dark water is terrifying

to me because who knows what's down there really far. You're going to die before you get there probably, but maybe something has come up that you don't know about i don't know um that sounds scary to me but also getting sucked up into that like you described it everything's just dark blue the way it's a total white out too far that way got like 10 miles of visibility or and your is slowly depleting. Just like with every, every minute you're 4,000 feet less oxygen, right? Like if you've been to like any kind of mountain pass,

they're only like 10 or 12,000 feet in the air. Like I did one in Yosemite. It was 12,000, 13,000 feet. And you felt like legit less oxygen. My friend got altitude sickness. P.K. Dan, he got altitude sickness. PK Dan got altitude sickness.

That's only 13,000 feet, right? These things go to 36,000 feet. Like that's how high they take you. It's negative 40 degrees. That's really cold. I can just imagine the shaky vlog just like. We're currently going up. I don't know when we're going to stop.

I'm going to drop the camera in a bit and hopefully you'll see me next time! And then she's like... People have talked about... Yeah, David broke a loooong time ago! People have talked about cutting the wing off, and then just deploying the reserve chute after a minute or two. You know, like, once you feel free, deploy the reserve and... A minute or two.

Well, I don't even know how long it takes to... I think you need to get down to like 8,000 feet or something, or maybe there's some ba- you know, there's a reason why in the movies they don't just jump out and then pull it. I think it's a problem. Maybe you get sucked right back up again. You'd be like, thank God. And then you just – because all of a sudden you're not carrying around that big motor and everything anymore. God's like, oh, thank me yourself.

Pull your head back up. You got to get down below all that shit. I guess doing the spirals, you're like spilling air from the wing, right? Yeah, you're kind of slipping out sideways. You think you're going in a spiral, but you're actually

kind of slipping sideways through the air. Yeah, makes sense. Cool. Well, I hope this won't get sucked into a cloud or anything, Woody, but you should have some sort of – Vlog it if you do. Exactly, and throw the camera down because you might just keep going. I've been working – so there are paramotor vlogging,

like para-vlogists out there, and some of them do a really good job, and I'm trying to learn what I can from them, like their audio setups and the way that they do their editing to make it interesting. Because it really, like, I find skydiving footage to be a little boring. Like, I get that it's really exciting, and I would consider it super exciting

if I was doing it, but it actually just looks like sky laying to me. Like, it wouldn't be much more, it wouldn't be much less entertaining if you were in a bed. You know, you just lay in there. If there wasn't a chance you could die, it wouldn't be a sport, because you were in a bed you know you just lay in there if there wasn't a chance you could die it wouldn't be a sport because it's just falling and I consider paramotor in person that's just that's the same thing right if you has anyone done indoor skydiving before no no the

whole the floor is like an enormous fan that's blowing up through some grates that you stand on that are kind of bouncy and you're in a cylinder, an enormous cylinder wearing like a squirrel suit, you know like a wing suit that gives you sort of wings from your wrists to your ankles kind of and the more you weigh, the wing suits

are different for everyone and the fan speed is too but you can fucking go really high and do all kinds of acrobatic stuff because as soon stuff because close your arms now you're not flying so you're falling and when you're falling you can do flips and use gravity and then you can like poof out and like catch yourself and stuff um the only problem with that is the only problem to me with that is like there's one literally like right next to me and every time i go i'm like should i do this and then I go there and the fan like I'm not gonna lie to you guys it's like you're in like a six foot by six foot area that you're just like one

little tunnel so I feel like it looks a little bit like uh oh great I'm gonna go in there and float for you know five minutes and not move around at all it looks like sky lane when I watch those people do it like the only videos I see online are the person like they like start playing like a fucking michael jackson song and the guy comes bopping out of there and he's like doing it and everything and it's like that guy clearly has been doing this for a fucking long time he's got it synchronized with a song and then like i can just imagine myself getting in there like maybe opening up like too quickly and i just and then i panic and close trying to flip break my nose on the plexiglass casing like it just seems like you could still get hurt, and that would be embarrassing. Steve-O from Jackass was telling a story about, I can't remember, it's one of the hangers on with the Jackass guys.

Maybe the guy who shit his pants and shit in that toilet in the very first one in the store, you know? Like a store toilet, like a display model. But they went to one of those indoor skydiving places and he didn't watch the training video at all. And they asked him, like, hey man, did you watch the video? And he's like, no, fuck it. And he's like, the first thing that happened was he went all the way to the top

and then fell straight down on his head. He said the people, the instructor said that was the worst entering ever seen in his history of being there. Like fractured his skull, like fucked him up. Because those things are high too. They're like three stories tall. Yeah.

But it's just like a small area. I feel like I would get up there like pressed to the top in my wingsuit and just be like, just slowly turn the fan down because I'm not closing my arms. It's hard to get buoyant. Most of the time you're just kind of hopping and just kind of hovering,

and then, oh, I lost it. It takes some skill to fly. I imagine your fan might be lower. So I've only seen videos of brand-new people at it, and they have an instructor holding your elbow and your knee, keeping you kind of level, and you're just a couple feet in the air. Those guys who are running to the top and bouncing around and you're just a couple feet in the air. Those guys who are running to the top and bouncing around

and catching themselves, they must have more airspeed. No, that's what we did. I've done it three times in my life. You don't think they turn the fan up when guys are doing those Michael Jackson demonstrations? I was going up really high and I wasn't doing any flips, but I would close up and fall and then catch myself. I thought that was fun.

To go facing down to close and fall and then catch myself i thought that was fun to like go like facing down to like close and fall but like they definitely changed the fan speed depending on what size we were because there was a little kid in there and he had to go do his own thing because i think if they could turn that shit up with him you could he could just he would shoot up the top it would be like cloud suck and it was pretty cute too because like the one they make for the kid like the wingsuit for kids is like superhero shit and i was i couldn't understand why we all didn't have superhero shit i wanted to be batman too this little fucker was so proud of himself when he put those goggles on he was like yeah why did you get that that's bullshit like because you're an adult they expect you to be in there like what what a marvel of science like no, you're the one who said a superhero was small.

I'm weird about height stuff. You mentioned being afraid of heights. I've done stuff in helicopters. That doesn't scare me at all, really. But I think I had this kind of mindset of just putting all my faith in the pilot and the flying platform and just saying,

if it goes down, it goes down. Today's my day or whatever. And hey, it's not a bad way to die. Like, it'd be a cool story, right? Like, what happened to Kyle? He was shooting a machine gun out of a helicopter and it exploded. Badass! Too bad. That's the first

week of us recounting your death, Kyle. Go a couple years down the line and it's a story of, do you guys remember? No, come around. Yeah, yeah, Taylor knew that guy. He knew that guy. Yeah this this fucking jackass pretended to be russian his name was kyle lived in georgia he thought that he was some you know the king of you know helicopter pig hunting and so he was hanging out with a machine gun convinced he could hold it toppled right out broke his neck paralyzed uh he wrote himself into a pool in his blow-powered wheelchair a little bit later.

I always tie something around my waist. I'm always kind of tied in there or buckled up. I figure if I'm going to die, it's because the plane or the chopper goes down. I'm not going to fall out. I'm pretty concerned with staying in that thing. That's the last...

It's scary when you're hanging out the side of that thing and, like, your feet slip or something. And even though you're, like, secured. I don't think I would enjoy rock climbing at all. No. That doesn't seem fun to me. No, that seems so much scarier than being. Like, if I'm in a helicopter, as long as it's not, like, my buddy who's like, oh, thanks for trusting me with your first trip up. Like, if it's someone I know is a pilot and he's got like scars and a military

hat on, it says like Vietnam vet, I'm fine. I'm not even a little nervous, you know, but rock climbing, it's all up to me. And the guy make an eight 50 an hour holding the,

the rope underneath me to make sure I don't plummet. I almost forgot. I got, I got this thing. I got, uh, this, this boat drone.

Um, it's an aquatic drone. I like this. It kind of hovers. It's got blades and stuff, but it's a boat. So it flies and then can land on water? I think it's sort of like a fan boat. It sits on the water but uses the fans to fly around. And this is the main body. You've got to put it together.

But what I notice is they've got this weighted portion here. And I feel like that's a good place to put some remote control explosives. So I think... I don't think that's fair to call it a drone if it just stays on the water. I feel like flying is part of what a drone is, right? I don't think so. They have, like, explosive drones that just sort of wheel over there and blow up bombs and shit.

Well, I've got this remote control fan here. And a fan boat thing. And I'm gonna put some explosives on it, I think. And like ram it into like a regular sized boat and blow the regular sized boat. That's exactly what I think of when I see that small boat, John. Same thing.

You're gonna think like, oh, look at that pussy ass little boat thing. It's gonna be... And when it gets there, it's gonna be like six ounces of C4 or something. It's going to think, oh, look at that pussy-ass little boat thing. It's going to be... And when it gets there, it's going to be like six ounces of C4 or something. It's not a boat. It's a torpedo. Yes. That's what it is, yeah. I have to look more into the legality of that, but I'm pretty sure I'm all set.

I've got a news story from near me. So this Fayetteville teen, 16 years old, is facing 45 sex related charges he's just having his first court appearance so let me see if i can find the court i guess what he did did he send 46 pictures of his dick no that's a really good guess actually so authorities said that a juvenile sent compromising photos to someone he believed to be a female and then he was told to disclose his instagram

password or photos or the photos would be sent to classmates and parents so the way i read this is he had like nudes of her and then started extorting stuff like he was They're calling it sextortion. He would extort passwords or whatever. He'd get them to comply to his wishes, or he would send these compromising photos. To clarify real quick, the guy who got in trouble got a dick pic, I guess, from a guy

and then... I think girls. From a girl. Yeah, he got compromising... This guy just sued a girl and is blackmailing this girl into giving him her password. Yes. So an investigation went into the victim's cell phone that authorities to William Allen Bowie,

I guess, who attended Freedom Christian Academy with the victim. Bowie gives his address, was charged with 13 counts of first degree sexual exploitation, 16 counts of first degree sexual exploitation, 16 counts of second degree sexual exploitation, and 13 counts of third degree and three counts of extortion. And he's denounced to a bunch of other people, too.

You thought that those SMSs were costing you an arm and a leg way back in the day. Now they're moved to life. Yeah. So he would ask for a picture and send a picture of the female to a person they thought were having a dial oh wait wait so he would get i'm just understanding this now and i've read this three times he would pretend to be a girl get dick pics from a guy and then start threatening and blackmailing the guy or saying i'm to send this dick pic to all your family and friends. And he made a habit.

See, that's why when you send a dick pic, you make sure it's top notch. That way you're not embarrassed of it whatsoever. I'd be like, send them all. Send all the dick pics to everybody. I'm fine. If a guy, that's what didn't make sense to me, is if you got a girl's naked pictures and you were like, ah, I'm going to send this to everyone.

Everyone would immediately, if they got that, be like, who sent this? And you and you'd be like oh this guy's threatening me i can't believe it he stole these and sent everybody there'll be news stories about oh my god this poor girl you know uh we're gonna charge him for 15 counts not to say it's okay i'm just saying it works better if you steal from a guy who's dumb enough to take a dick pic with his face in it rule one all general pictures keep your face out, fucking idiots. Like, you need the guy to do it. You get a low angle, like, below your balls with the camera where you're, like,

looking back, like, you're in the background of your dick. Like, who's doing that? Yeah. I need everyone to see my dick pics. I use a penis enlarger called Photoshop. And it's huge. But he's got, like, weird, like, lines on his stomach like you if your parents got pictures of your dick Kyle because you sent it to someone you thought was a

girl they wouldn't be like you victim oh fucking be like, you fucking idiot. What are you thinking? Who wants that? There'd be a lot of understanding. No, there'd be no understanding. How long does it take doing this? If you take a dick pic and you have your face in it, you're asking for trouble. That's true. Oh, and he was taking the pictures that he got, like the dick pics,

and putting them on websites for gay men. What a douche. Yeah, he's such a dick. Dude, this to me is like, welcome to the internet, right? Assholes will, first of all, they'll catfish you, right? They'll pretend to be like a chick, and then they'll get your dick pic, they'll blackmail and extort shit from you,

and then they'll put your dick pic on websites for gay men. Then they'll take advantage of some poor gay man out there trying to get his jollies off, and he's looking at a straight cock. He doesn't want that. His entire evening's ruined. Super misleading. I just, I don't know. When I read the story the first time, not really fully understanding it, I was like, oh, this is so internet. Right?

This is like this guy thinking he can do anything, extort people, but so long as it's over the internet, there are no repercussions. I'm glad this dick's going to jail. He's a teenager, right? He's 16. He's not going to jail. Really? Oh, that's stuff that kids do all the time.

You haven't gotten a few case scenarios. Juvenile detention center or something like that. He's going to something. Because he already has a $215,000 bail. Depends what his daddy does for a living. Since he's at the Christian private school over there. No, dude.

I hear you. The Christian private school suggests wealth. But this attempt to grow a mustache discounts that. This kid does not look like he's got a quarter million dollars. That facial structure doesn't scream good breeding. He looks like Bran.

He looks like a Czechoslovakian Bran. Am I right yet? What is up? You heard about the teacher that banked the 13-year-old? Yeah, I heard all about that. So she banged it because she was having those parties with all those 13- and 14-year-old boys over and everything. She'd been carrying on a relationship with this 13-year-old boy for months. She is fucking hot.

They always are. Right? Not always. You just only see those ones. This one. This one is hot. She's a hot brunette with big boobs, and she's in good shape. She's 24 years old.

She's been banging this 13-year-old for like a year. The 13-year-old is a total baller. He kept that shit shut. He was taking her home, introduced her to the parents, made sure that was going to go over smooth. Look at this chick. Ridiculous. Aside from the fact she's clearly hiding that she's fat.

She's not actually fat. She's a little bit thick, I will say, because there's a full body picture of she's fat? She's not actually fat. She's a little bit thick, I will say, because there's a full body picture of her, too. She's not here. You don't have to say that. I think she's hot, man. She's doing that duck face thing, but I'm not going to say she's a cool girl. She's just a hot girl.

She's got some problems. Beautiful face, bro. Amazing. She's a little thick thick but she's not fat i do think that's like pre-fat she's pre-fat yeah she's pre-fat definitely 13 year olds are horny but like that's that's got to be fucking damaging to you if you're 13 and you have a 24 year old with a huge power dynamic only damaging if you don't get laid again until you're 21 right no no i know that's like the

popular funny thing but it is fucked up it's an adult taking advantage of a child can i just say this real quick yeah um she apparently like he hit her up on instagram and she was not responding she was ignoring him and then he wasn't showing up to class so finally she messages him back and she's like what's going on blah blah he somehow gets her number She goes to his house to pick him up for school is what the news article says that happened Somehow in the five minutes between picking him up was our school I have no idea but somehow Her picking him up turns into them having sex because his parents are gone like I want to be there not to be weird or

Creepy I want to be there during that five minutes like what made this situation go so awry Then like it's like I'm picking up this kid for school. Oh, we had sex I can hardly get that shit to happen with Jackie You ready for the the quiz on states and capitals today, and he's like fuck I don't know how to spell Minneapolis, and she's like that's fine. Take your pants off and then Like hey, honey, we got five minutes. You down right now? No.

Oftentimes not. I'm just a teen, so we're going to have about four minutes and 40 seconds to spare. This is shocking. You know, this woman's a rapist, you know, legally speaking, it seems. I don't know, man. I feel like there's definitely a mess up line of things like something's wrong with her I would

say but I think that there's a huge difference between like if it was a 24 year old man and a 13 year old girl I think the power dynamic is way like there's too much of an imbalance there for sure but I don't know something about I feel like I don't know bro if I was 13 years old maybe the 13 year old girl really for sure. But I don't know, something about I feel like, I don't know, bro. If I was 13, I'd be like,

wait for you. Maybe the 13-year-old girl really wants some dick. I think everyone always discounts that. No one ever says like, well, hey, that 13-year-old boy, what does he want more than some pussy? Of course, he's a 13-year-old boy. No one ever says, well, she's a 13-year-old girl. She's cock-thirsty.

Come on, she's at that age. Girls develop faster than boys. Because nobody wants to think about girls like. I think it's more about the adult man. Nobody wants to think about girls like that. Because it's very un-PC to think that. But either way, I do understand what you're saying, PJ, where it's like, it's definitely a grosser feeling when it's like

a 25-year-old guy and a 12, 13, 14-year-old girl. That makes you feel viscerally more like, oh, you piece of shit. Like, you knew what you were doing. But you give women this undue credence of, oh, she must have just, you know, it's so difficult for women to find cock these days, you know? She had to go trolling

through her fucking pile of homework. Oh, you know, oh, Steve, you know, oh, I'm looking at the bulge in his oshkosh begosh and I'm loving it, you know? Like, no, that's fucking horseshit. You can't excuse these people. She's a rapist just as much as they are., and I'm loving it. You know, like, no, that's fucking horseshit. You can't excuse these people.

She's a rapist just as much as they are. Dude, I don't know. I feel like I agree with you, but I also think that in a perfect world, yes. But there's double standards with men. How would you feel if your 13-year-old son brought home this lady, this 24-year-old lady, and you're like, oh, you went to a state school? Yeah, me and Jackie, we went to this school and that school. Oh, yeah, you went to a state school? Yeah, me and Jackie, we went to this school and that school. Oh, yeah, you went to a state school too?

Oh, yeah, we went to the same college, me and you. That's cool. Well, this is Billy. He's hoping Little League is going to go well this year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's fucking you, I hear. Oh, that's good. Apparently the parents were okay with it yes they went to

functions together like it was a thing they do of it and she he stayed at her house and stuff this kid out of may dude i don't know what happened wait he got her pregnant yeah she already has one child that's her fault though she messed up there do not get pregnant. Now you're a rapist. Now you're a rapist. He's got homework to remember. He can't be wrapping it up. That's your job, 24-year-old lady. That poor 13-year-old's going to be having that thought every night for the rest of his life when he's

27 just sitting there doing his taxes and then being like, he'd be 14. And then continuing like, that's a damaging thing for a child. It is what it is. That's sincerely damaging. Like, that's, if that were my son, like, it wouldn't, like, if it were my daughter, I'd be, like, inexcusable, like, eyes red with fury. But if it's your son, it's more like, we got to have a talk about this, you know, hash through this, make sure you're not going to, you know know be capturing women on fucking street corners and cutting their faces off in 15 years

some sort of sexual dexter because your 24 year old teacher fucked you crazy for for like nine months when you were 13 years old uh i don't know i feel like when i was 13 i'd have been down i i just know i would have, and it would have been scarring because I feel like I've always kind of been me, and I feel like I was pretty sexually mature at 13 or 14. I knew what was up. I knew what I wanted. I remember in fifth grade, I wanted to squeeze Miss Harrison's big old titties. I really wanted to squeeze them. They were huge.

We all wanted to squeeze Miss Harrison's titties, Kyle. What I'm saying is that like if miss harrison had actually come after class and been like oh kyle can you stay after and suddenly it was like a huge power dynamic where you're no longer this suave 13 year old who just gets fuzzy whenever he wants it's you know i didn't tell it to lay down i'm telling you i was so down i would think about it all the time like like i just wish that my teacher was a pedophile I would think that I was like I wish she wanted to see what was in my pants she doesn't care

her boyfriend would come over like her boyfriend would come to school they'd have lunch and I'm like he's completely not threatened by you he's got a car and a job 37 year old civil war buff over there fucking rice k Krispies

like what's he got that I don't have dude so like non-threatening and you're just sitting there with the best thoughts ever that's the greatest thing that's like fucking ass I definitely see

the hypocrisy of it when we're like yeah he scored! But there really is just a difference between men and women. It's double standards, dude. There should be, though. That's real. That's reality. It's a double standard, but the double standard

doesn't have to be, you know, one is good and okay and one is... No, there's definitely wrong. Yeah, this one's fucked up, and we all understand the reason why this one's more fucked up., this one's fucked up and we all understand the reason why this one's more fucked up. And this one's right here, still fucked up, but you know... I'm just saying that you cannot

I'm not saying that a woman can't rape a young boy. I'm just saying that a hot woman can't rape a young boy. That's... Yes. For sure. Definitely 100%. Kyle speaks the truth. It's just the truth kyle speaks truth it's just the truth we know although it's true like we see those gross women and they're like oh i bet she did some weird shit

to him anyway like she was making me down a dog bowl probably fucking crazy but you see this chick and it's like like nah i bet it's probably the opposite some big sow who's fucking her student is kind of like oh my god i'm just so lonely and my cats can't fuck me and and she's getting banged by this kid some really hot chick that's been able to do whatever she wants with men her own age she's gonna go in there like the nutty professor and have him doing whatever the hell she wants you know stuff you don't know any better this is what grown-ups do join in like like maybe you should take advantage of his small physique in some way. It's just that you look at an attractive woman and you think the best intentions,

but if she's fucking a 13-year-old, she's clearly a piece of shit. Something's wrong with her for sure. I think she's a pedophile, though, that just the act of having sex with a child is enough, right? She doesn't have to get all crazy with it, does she? I feel like she's just like, yeah, he's 13, this is awesome. And on the other end, he's like, yeah, she she's 24 this is awesome and we also don't know what he looks like right uh i don't it's the same kid actually it's the same guy in that first picture no it's not he's a eighth grader dude what if he's like one of those built 13 year olds that's just ridiculous i don't know when i just killed i pictured the guy who banged the counselor when we were 14 years old

at baseball camp I picture that guy from high school cause he was clearly like 3 years physically more mature than everybody else he was 6 feet tall and like thick chested you know what I mean like he wasn't just some stretched out 6 foot tall guy that hit puberty too quick like he was like a man's man like

grown up and he was really good looking and it was like yeah whatlor say woody's what no i just said what did he smell like because he was going into like the leaves in the fall taylor hit puberty early like it i did i i powered through puberty and it was a shock to everyone including me where like i was i guess 12 and like the the seeds had been planted but you know i still remember my mom being like you're gonna really shoot up after this year and i was like whatever mom like you know you don't think about puberty until it's hitting you and then you wake up one day that's not true i i did i really i thought about puberty every fucking days for half a decade waiting for it to hit me. Okay.

If the saproling begins sprouting when you're like 11 and a half, then you don't think about it until it's hitting you. And you're like, Jesus, I got a lot of hair on my dick. Oh, not me. Not me. I'm like, look at that guy. That guy's got hair on both sides above his dick and I have yet to sprout or that lucky son of a bitch has crossed over right to the point where he actually has like a grown-up's bush meanwhile I just got little little frills on the side here's a perfect one a counter example there was this there's one

guy in my grade who was hairier than me at that age well only one guy and he got made fun of ruthlessly for it like all the time like aha you know you shave like because we were only 13 and it was a bit because nobody else did and when you're on the out you think it's like at the time looking back it's like i should have been like yeah yeah i fucking shave you don't bitch like but at the time like no they can't know and like my bush down there was, like, if it was a competition, I was winning that one. We all showered together at the gym, so you would see what development was going on. And it got, like, I was trimming at, like, the age of, like, 13. It was just so, I was just, like, I'm going to walk in there, and it's just encroaching.

Which describes a phase of puberty that I'm going to walk in there and it's just encroaching. Not me. Which describes a phase of puberty that I'm not familiar with because I feel like when I got pubic hair, I just got it. It was like one day there wasn't any and the next day there's hair everywhere. I got it. No, no, no. He talks about these two little wispy patches on his face. It was slow to come in. I'm so confused about that.

It's like I don't have pubic hair. I have peach fuzz. This is just like I can admit. I think what I have here is pre-hair. And those fuckers have actual hair. It's not fair. It's hair. It's like, side hair. My hair was like, you could measure its girth with like, the millimeter size of a ruler.

Like, it's just ridiculous. I don't know, man. Ugh, that's funny. That's ridiculous. Sex with Taylor know, man. That's ridiculous. Sex with Taylor comes with a free exfoliating session. Yeah, it does. It's in a pumice stone. He's like a big... What's the fucking luge thing?

What is it? Lava? What is it? Lufa. Yes, he's a big lufa. So I pretty much... I think I had to start saving when I was in like seventh grade or something so like 12 ish so man yeah I've had like this little beard thing since I've legit been like he left there 12 men do the beauty of being Italian Mexican I was gonna say it's that Mexican in you like

all the Mexican kids in our school were grown-ups at like fourth grade that gives you both of them really the Mexican definitely gets the hook up as well yeah no and then this Irish English people hit full bloom at like 26 it's it's the worst yeah

somewhere in the middle you had a pretty normal transition into that yeah you were like 15 what's normal what is a normal time You had a pretty normal transition into that. You were like 15. What's normal? What is a normal time? I don't think it's normal anymore because it's different because of all... I think it's different because of a number of the things that modern humans do to themselves.

But it seems to be getting earlier and earlier and earlier. I remember I was watching Maury one time and they were talking about eight-year-olds with their period and crazy shit like that. For girls, yeah. Because if something about like girls like their body when it hits a certain level of fat content is like, alright, you're a woman now fucking send it through and the

body doesn't know that the girl is 9. It's like 104 or 110 pounds or something. They hit that and something like that. So it's these fat little fuckers. Okay. They could be fat or they could be bigger. Oh yeah, gigantism. That's much more common.

That's probably the way. My dad had gigantism, actually, which is interesting. Yeah, my ex-girlfriend's cousin, actually, she was like a little, no offense, she's like a little fat thing. And she had her period when she was like nine or something ridiculous, which is like that might lend some credence to the fact that if you tell me. An early quinceanera. Man, yeah, no, my dad had not gigantism. He had acromegaly, which is the adult form of gigantism. So like if you get this specific thing, it's like a tumor on your pituitary gland.

If you get it when you're under the age of like 16 or something, you get gigantism. And if you get it after the age, after that age or whatever, whenever you stop growing, if you get it after the age after that age or whatever whenever whenever you stop growing if you get it after that you get acromegaly where you don't get big but you get like big hands and like a big face and like super strong and my dad's like a weird superhero version of a human it's ridiculous he had to have brain surgery to get it removed can you beat him so but did he still you take him there right dude you're purple belt not even my dad dude I don't know if I have videos on this phone, but my dad will go to gyms. Like, we go to Cali sometimes.

He'll go to gyms and be black belts just off of pure strength because my dad is like a – he had surgery now, so he's much more average compared to what he was. But before, like, he would never work out. He would go into the gym and bench 600 pounds and rep it. Like, it's amazing. Why would he have that fixed? You believe me. I feel like he had it broken is what he had. Dude, he's going to pump with testosterone, bro.

Apparently what happened is because most people with acromegaly end up dying around their early 50s because their heart enlarges too much. And my dad was getting heart attacks, so he had to get surgery to get it removed because he was getting heart attacks like a normal occurrence. You make it so casual like it was acne. Does he have his face normal? It's normal now. I'll find a picture now, but then I'm

going to find a picture of how he looked before. I'm imagining one of those giant suckers that's real big, you know? with a huge head now. I was picturing a sloth from the Goonies, but I think that's probably pretty helpful. No, that's not. Who's the fighter who has that, like some sort of gigantism or something?

He's a heavyweight. Here is my stuff. It's not Big Nog. It's Bigfoot Silva. That's who I'm going with. That's my dad with Syndicate. You can still see his head's a little bit big. Uh-huh.

Don't judge people for that. My dad is the one, the small one with pointing the finger. That's my dad, not Syndicate. But that's him now, and he's like, he still looks pretty fit, but before his head was, like, super big. How tall is your dad? 5'10". I'm 6'0". That's, like, super big. How tall is your dad? 5'10". I'm 6'4".

That's, like, 5'10". So he's never grew tall. He just grew, like, his hands got really big. His feet got really big. His face got big. And super strong. Like, most people don't believe it until they meet him. But he would go into the gym.

Never worked out ever. He would run sometimes, but that's it. Go into the gym and just bench 600 pounds. And, like, people would come by and be be like what is happening to that guy over there he was bit by a radioactive spider it's pretty cool story doesn't help other areas with growth uh you know what i'm gonna tell you this one time my dad was getting out of the shower and he said hey pat my name is patrick hey pat can you uh hand me that towel over there and i was like sure dad oh my god like that

it's just like you walk into a butcher shop and there's a bunch of meat just hanging on it was horrifying that's great oh you know that was know calculated move he was in the right he's gonna have this surgery soon show his I gotta do the towel move before it shrinks down yeah before you know what you're talking about this one yeah yeah like I'm gonna do this now and he'll never see it again but it's gonna take it's yeah so the joke was and I stole it from

Adam Carolla he told it first but the joke is like you let your like eight-year-old see your gigantic grown man's penis in his head it's this enormous like super cock and then he never sees it again so that's burned into it and the only sort of assert your dominance I still have haters like to this day who would be like you guys don't know who he really is. He likes to show his dick to his son. You know? It's a grand plan to make you have to

warp and twist him. As if you're just, like, trying to fool the whole family, like, you know, Emily, in here, quick! And you're just naked in the game. Like, I'll be in some new, like, like a new subreddit or something, like, you know, video editing subreddit, and I'll get exposed by some guy

because of that dumbass story. There's a picture of me and XJaws for some reason. I just wanted to show you that. I don't know why. Oh, shit. XJaws looks good in this picture. He looks what? He looks good in this picture.

It looks like he's on the menu for you. Dude, I was so big. I ruptured my bicep recently. I'm like a skinny fat 215 right now, but I was like 240 before. And I was pretty stocky, dude. Big guy. But I fight at 185 is where I fight at. Were you happy being at like 240 or were you kind of like, I want to get down, I want to cut?

Oh, no. Here, I'll show you a picture. I was actually, because I fight at 185. That's a big cut. Oh, no. Here, I'll show you a picture. I was actually, because I fight at 185. That's a big cut. Yeah, tell me about it. I think, Merker, you weigh, what, like 175-ish, right? Oh, no. I'm like high 180s now. Oh, you're a big boy.

You used to be really big, like stocky, right? Oh, no, fat. I think he was being nice. Yeah, back in the paintball days, Merker was a little bit round. I was bordering on... I was American, not fat.

You were American! I was fat. Dropped all that. I'm trying to lose 8 pounds now. I was too skinny. I'm just a cunt hair over six foot. So you're taller than me by a lot. I'm six foot exactly. I wish that I was like a little bit taller.

But yeah, there's actually one cunt hair. It depends on when you hit puberty, I think. Yeah, anyway. So this is 185. 185 versus 240. PJ is just handing out the topless photos like he's Jive Turkey or something. I got some more. Just like, hey, look at me with no shirt on.

Is your Instagram feed just filled with topless pictures? Not right now. I literally haven't done anything except YouTube for the past six months because I ruptured my bicep. So I've been out. I haven't even been training. I get another MRI on Monday, and then hopefully before the end of summer, I'll be back training

because I haven't even been teaching or anything, man. Kyle, don't look at the chat. Kyle. You can look at it. Look at this guy. It's showing us so many pictures of him, tan and chiseled. My shirtless photos look like it's just a J.J. Abrams lens flare.

I'm so pale. Just shut up. I'm so white right now. Kyle, can you do an ad read? Well, I was going to segue into that by talking about Taylor's body hair and how maybe we should do a special episode where we shave him with Dollar Shave Club razors because guys we really appreciate you listening to the show and we wanted to do something to thank you.

So we contacted our friends at dollarshaveclub.com and arranged for them to give new members a month of the executive razor for free. Oh yeah, you get the executive razor. That's the best one. For free. Just for buying a tube of Dr. Carver's shave butter, which we always recommend. We're super excited that they're doing that for you guys. Now let me remind you why millions of others have joined me as a proud member of the club. DollarShaveClub.com delivers amazing razors right to your door for a third of the price of what those greedy razor corporations would charge you.

That means that when you join Dollar Shave Club, you can afford to shave with a fresh blade anytime you want, which feels fantastic. I got tons of these blades in my drawer. I get a first class shave when I use the executive blade, and that's without even hurting my wallet. And when I use the executive with the Dr. Carver Shave Butter, the blade just gently glides for the smoothest shave ever. Shave butter isn't your average shave cream.

It's a unique conditioning formula with high-quality natural ingredients, leaving your skin unbelievably soft and smooth. So now's a great time to join the Dollar Shave Club. New members who buy a tube of Dr. Carver's Shave Butter get a free month with the executive razor. So take advantage of this special offer today. It's available by going to dollarshaveclub.com slash pka. That's dollarshaveclub.com slash pka. Nice.

Check them out. I really like their stuff. I use it every day with your code. I always get my Dollar Shave Club stuff. I actually just shaved earlier with it. And let me say this. My face feels like a mixture of baby butts and small baby dolphins. It's very smooth.

Feels great. I shave every morning at 8.15. Oh, I have a topic. Oh, yeah. Lefty, former host on the show, seems to have landed some sort of fox or ufc voiceover gig i actually saw that that's awesome for him because if there's something that he's made for it's to get his his actual voice out there because it is a i got i wish that my voice sounded like that my voice is fucking horrible just so nasally and midwesty that i feel like it's i feel like most people from the

midwest sound a little nasally but he's got that perfect like newsman voice where it's well i the way i feel about that would i i'd have to narrow it down to these three things i'll tell you now like and then like stuff i i like that i wish i could talk like that yeah i i have no i guess at one time i had hard feelings towards lefty but they are gone and uh um uh you know i guess it's good to see that he got a gig i don't have any idea like where on the success tier he is right like i i feel like this is a great job would be like getting the archer gig right a recurring like animated thing couple of seasons lasts a decade like that is i think like the peak of the voice acting uh hierarchy and uh um you know the lowest gig is

like a one-time radio ad. And I don't know where this falls on that. Like I hear UFC and I hear Fox News and I think kind of big time in some ways, right? But also, you know, he's not reading the next Game of Thrones. I wonder where this falls on the, like, how big a gig it is. Everyone's, like, looking at pictures and chatting. Oh, yeah. I'm excited for Lefty. I actually, he was, helped me out a lot back in the day when I was, like looking at pictures and chatting. Oh, yeah. I'm excited for Lefty.

I actually, he was, helped me out a lot back in the day when I was like first starting on YouTube. He gave me a lot of advice. So I'm excited for him. And I'm glad that he has such a beautiful voice. And there's a picture of my dad in the chat for you. That's the only one I can find in my current phone. I got a new phone. So I don't really have much.

But that's my dad's hands in there. Like, but those, that's after the surgery. So that's my dad's hands in there like but those that's after the surgery so that's a few years after he got this tumor removed so his hands are like maybe half the size they were like in thickness his hands used to be like super fat so it basically ruins your ability to like be dexterous like it just makes you like they're your hands are basically like ruined is it like those glove hands that the guy had on It's Always Sunny? I don't watch It's Always Sunny, but if they're big, then yes. I know.

I should start. You guys have almost convinced me. It's very good. You're in Vegas, you said. Yes. You're aware that Vegas is getting an NHL team. You know what? I'm so excited. I actually was so excited to come

on here and talk to you about NHL. Big fan of hockey and really excited. Are you being a dick? No, I can name way more hockey teams than Kyle, for example. The Conductors. For one.

Yeah, for one. The superhero logos out of Sacramento. One of Sacramento's four teams. Like, apparently, Northern California, huge hockey culture. But anyway, yeah, so you are excited about getting the team. I don't know anything about hockey. All I know about hockey is how much you know and how much great i'm glad you did that to him because he really gets his hopes up whenever he encounters someone who might be

able to talk about hockey on the same level as he can and i know that feeling like there's some things that i know a lot about and it's it's rare that i can talk to someone and they're like yeah the benford 750 you both say it at the same. Where they know exactly what you're talking about. I feel like I come on too intense with hockey talks sometimes because it's like I'm so starved for it for people. I talk about it with my friends all the time here, but, I mean, we're all Blues fans. Yeah, but we all ignore him. So did you stop talking about it yet now that your season's over?

Alex, you are such an asshole. I wish I knew about it. You guys are so mean about the hockey thing, and you had me going so good, PJ. I thought that you were actually going to be able to talk to me about it. But every time I talk about hockey, someone will be like, oh, yeah, you know, I like the Kings. And I'll be like, yeah, I was watching their game

versus Anaheim a few weeks back. Looks like Kessler's struggling even more. That's going to end up being a horrible contract for you guys down the road. What were you thinking two years ago? And they're like, yeah, I mean, our goalie's pretty good though, right? And it's like, no, of course he's not. You traded away Anderson. And it's just like,

I get it over my head with people. I want to talk about video games. You said you play a lot of Call of Duty. Do you play any? Yeah, go ahead, sir. Do you play anything else? Do you play any RTS stuff? I will tell you what I play. As of right now, I have Infinite Warfare.

I got Black Ops 3. A little bit of Dynasty Warriors and CSGO. And that's all that I've been playing lately. What else? That's really it, man. Star Wars, a little bit of that Star Wars game. But that's really all. Just mostly Call of Duty. I feel like every time I play another game, I'm like, maybe I should play COD to

get some gameplays for my channel. You know? You know that feeling. Oh, yeah. I was constantly on the hunt. I don't even want to talk to you, bro. Five-round zombie guy replayed over and over again. Hey, to be fair,

it's just that the first five rounds are so boring that people thought it was replayed over and over. I, at most, used the same first five rounds twice, and then other times it was just, I'd just play up to, like, eight minutes and be like, that's about as long as I'm going to talk. And then I just quit. I have this video multiple times, just so you know for your information Mirka best

commentator of all time besides Woody and Kyle also but anyways I know Kyle I know it's I know you only made like one gaming video and that's like ten years but it was amazing I loved it sir I had a dual Kyle nearly as like I wasn't nearly as close with Kyle as I am now when you had your FPS Kyle Plays channel. Yeah, and I had a gaming channel before that. I liked the... Well, yeah, I watched the KLM5986 channel, some of that. The FPS Kyle Plays was much better than that channel,

if I can put it out there. Yeah, that was the Let's Plays. The only Let's Play I've ever watched. Ever. I found the lost episodes of that the other day on an old hard drive, on an old PC. It was the only one that I watched, and then it ended, and I was like,

well, I guess he's done. Well, it's over. Dude, speaking of Call of Duty, actually, I got a funny thing that happened to me. Last year, this is going to sound, I feel like, all right me last year this is gonna sound i feel like all right last year i've told this story before but everybody is like oh well blah blah whatever last year i was the guy who leaked black ops 3 from gamestop and i got fired for that no way are you kidding me so all the like images gamestop's only disloyal employee ever. You guys should hit me up. I tweeted you multiple times.

Oh, shit. Bro, I tweeted Kyle, but I'm blocked. I got you blocked. That's right. I was going to be blocked. You hit me with that swift block. You're not off the hook yet. Almost.

No, I actually, I was the guy. Last year it happened, obviously, and they told me not to talk about it, and here I am talking about it. But I already made a story. It has like 120,000 views or something now. I maybe put it up a few weeks ago or something. And it did really well. I was very excited about it. But working at GameStop, I was like the third key manager, like a little backup manager guy. And when we would get bosses...

You still have a career for this. I did, because my boss was like 50, and he was constantly telling us how we could make GameStop our career and I love the guy, Lord knows that I do but I do not want to be like, I don't want to be like career GameStop, I'm 50, this is what I'm doing I just don't need that in my life right now but I will say that we got the boxes, we normally would get the stuff like two weeks early so the promo material, like Black O ops 3 hadn't even been announced yet and we got the promo material and i i may or may not have opened up this box and taking multiple pictures and put it online for everybody to see all right that may

or may not have happened i also may or may not have been uh in a conference with activision and my district manager and that got me fired and stuff. So it was amazing. Beautiful time. Did you make any money out of it? How long was the discussion before you had to admit that you did it? Or was it just, yeah, it was me. You caught me. 100% that way. Because I walk into, like, they called me into work, and they were like, hey, PJ, we got some extra hours today.

You want to come through? And I was like, yeah, that sounds good. I mean, what am I doing today? i'll go went down there and my district manager was in the back of the store my friend is like the assistant manager there and then my main manager reminds me 100 of mr crabs if any of you have ever seen spongebob maybe not woody but um oh woody have you seen spongebob are you familiar oh yes that's right. SpongeBob, amazing show, by the way. Top ten. But exactly like Mr. Krabs in every way, that was my boss. My assistant manager was my buddy, and he told me, like, yo, the district manager's in the back.

I think you're getting a promotion. You're going to have your own store. I was like, what? Sweet. Like, who's that? So I go into the back, and my district manager was like, hey, how are you? We got somebody on the phone for you. And really nice guy.

He's like in his 40s. Fresh white dude. Always had like fresh, clean Jordans on. Really cool guy. And I go and I answer the phone and the guy is like, hey, I'm calling from Activision. I'm here. I run the league team here or whatever it was, like some support team. It's a setup. It's a trap.

Dude, it's a trap. And he was like, we we uh i'm going through twitter you know this is what i do i go through twitter and i'm seeing all these posts from a a twitter page called uh overt flow that's you right i went on your channel let me first say this you have a a robust following what 20 000 people follow you that's it's very nice and i was like well thank you i i appreciate oh crap'm not going to motion I just admitted to it yeah and he's like well and basically they walked me through had me delete everything

and he's like this seems like you're just a big fan of the game huh and I was scared I didn't know if I was going to get sued by Activision or how it worked like I didn't know I've spoken to an attorney on this and it's really just a rule not a law it's a guideline a rule not a law Which they can be broken so I learned that though actually

Through this and I was like oh my god. I'm gonna get fired. I'm gonna lose all my money all $100 in my bank account It's gone And the guys like you just really you're a big fan of cod aren't you and I was like yeah I'm big fan. I love Activision, man. I love Call of Duty. MOABs, I get a lot of them. Really good, really awesome. And he's like, yeah, I used to love Call of Duty, too. Now all I do is stay on here looking for leaks.

And I was like. He said that? Yeah, he said that. And he was like, and I thought he was going to continue on. I'm like, but it's okay. It feeds the family. But he just said that. He's like, no, I just stay here all day looking for leaks online.

And I was like, oh. So sad. Well, am I in trouble or can I go? Yeah. So he had me delete, like, all the tweets. There's still, like, Google images, like, of the cover art and stuff that I had posted. And they made me delete all that stuff. And then the guy hung up. And then my DM was like yeah it's cool you can go talk to your manager now and I was like oh maybe I'm keeping the job I don't know I go outside my manager's

like yeah we're gonna have to let you go we were gonna give you a store though we were gonna promote you but you know this happened he said that yeah like you were right on the verge of being a lifer dude I was on the verge of like being an assistant manager at a store or getting loans. Dude, my room. Oh, man, dude, it's really sad. But luckily, I decided, you know what? Let's let's try this YouTube thing now that I kind of have this little like got my chance. The things were good.

I did not expect to do that. And they get like thousands upon thousands of retweets. And that's what happened. Probably should have thought that one through. Maybe do some anonymous stuff. yeah but live and learn you know you live and you learn you know there's no losing there's just learning what was the emotion like when you realized you'd never have to step foot in a game stop ever again unless you chose at first i was like very excited because i do other stuff too i mean i do uh like i teach at

a uf or i was teaching at a UFC gym. My dad owns a massage company out here, and I'm a licensed therapist as well. So that's good. I could do that. I got a lot of stuff. If you guys want massages, I'll come to your house. Do you offer a treatment called Cloud Suck? Oh, that is an expensive treatment. It's another $7.

But yeah, that's... So, okay, so this is interesting. So I want to know about... So it's how many massage places are actually like have some sort of prostitution running in the background where they'll jerk you off? Like how common is that? Because I got to feel... I feel like it's got to be like 100% of the massage parlors that are advertised on billboards, right? I will say this.

I will say I've been to a few myself. I haven't actually gotten the full treatment, of course. But I will say this. In Chinatown, you've been to Vegas a lot of times, right? Yeah. You know where Chinatown is like right off the strip or no? No clue, no. There's know where Chinatown is, like right off the strip or no? No clue, no. There's this big Chinatown area, and I would venture to say a good 30 –

well, I would say 90% of those, none of the therapists are licensed there. They're not licensed whatsoever, which is illegal. But I would say probably 30 – one out of every three there probably do that stuff, probably jerking it behind the scenes. Really awesome. $20 an hour? How could you beat it you know what i'm saying that's amazing but i've been to a couple where i walk in one time i went

into one with my girlfriend and i walked in with it was me my dad and then my girlfriend and my stepmom and they were outside me and my dad walked in and this girl came out like in lingerie i swear to god she came out of like a cloud of smoke from the back it was so like vapory smoky in there vape nation you know that sounds like a great place to be there's naked women in vapor it was amazing i walked in there she's like legit in not lingerie but very scantily clad with like one of those uh teddies on is that what it's called like c2 sure okay well let's go with that and they're like two guys yeah sure come back my girlfriend walks in the door and they're like oh no you don't want massage here and i was like i feel like they're gonna touch our wieners here dad so we

turned around and went to another place but conversation i've never had with my dad yeah it's surprising why did you both have to act like that was bad news where you're both like oh here we come looking to just have some tension relief and they go fondling and scooping and moving around like of course that's what you want others were there at the time so we had to of course pretend like it was a terrible thing who would run a place like this dad let's come back later all right that's how it went you had to yeah you had to put on a show for the for your lady for the ladies like when they're unreasonable at restaurants with like special orders and shit and you can't like yeah all you can do is like look at the waiter

and give like a eyebrow nod of like i deal with it more than you do like and then he understands have you done that before uh yes yeah not with uh melissa or wo I'm confused. I got lost in the conversation. We were at a restaurant just recently. Oh, yeah. I see where you were going with that. I've only eaten out with Woody, I think, like twice? Three times, maybe?

And every time we've gone out to eat, I haven't seen any evidence of anybody being rude, because it's been just too big of a group for anyone to be rude. Where it's just like, hey, who's ordering now? And it's like, I need to get in. Give me the fucking bacon cheeseburger and a beer. Thanks.

Just trying to sneak in the order. But, yeah. Anyway. I got one more picture of my dad's hand that I want to show you guys just because it's like a business card. Like he's legitimately holding a business card in this picture and I'll show you the same business card just so you can get an idea of what his hands look like right now but god dang dude his hands are so much smaller than what they were and they're still freakishly large and it's very sad wow this one does show I

don't believe it it's a trick card. Yeah, it's a full hand. Wait a minute. Where's my wallet at? God damn it. I'll show you. I think I have the same card in here. His thumb has a bicep. My dad's hands are ridiculous. That would suck so bad to just get fat fingers and not be able

to do anything. I don't have any business cards around. So my dad's hand is like freakishly large. And that's, his hand is small now. He used to spread his fingers and they would still touch because they were so fat. It was ridiculous. They're like Mickey Mouse hands, like gloves.

We'll be in stores sometimes, even to this day, his hands are still big enough for this. We'll be in stores and little kids will like walk up and just touch his hands like little four-year-old kids will be like and like grab my dad's hands and he's like i look like a pedophile pat what why why do i got these hands can you move okay yeah like it's totally painful no he's good at moving them he has a little bit of of arthritis and stuff because his joints got so big. Even his elbows and knees and everything are thick. Acromighelli makes your joints thick, apparently. And his joints are very, very thick. I think they said it was in the ballpark of like $5,000 worth of natural testosterone a day. Like if he were to buy it, like HGH or something, it would be a crap ton of money that he was getting naturally because of the tumor. Yeah, because of the tumor. It sounds really dope, but if this had happened like 60 years ago, he'd be dead by now.

I wish I could have had that happen to me at 12. So that I'd finally hit puberty nicely. So then you'd be some weird golem with mouthful of plants. No, I just feel like if I had that disease combined with my normal disposition, I'd be a regular boy. Was that what you did as a kid, praying? Just, I just want to be a regular boy. You would have that hair like on both sides of your wiener and in the middle uh so you were 15 or 16 when you finally got hit by the the puberty

train me puberty pinocchio me um something like that yeah yeah 24 it was awful that would be so rough you know the puberty thing is a spectrum too right like um it's funny we talk about one of the first things that that changed to me in my is my calf muscles started to grow and never stopped yeah and i would have the time where you're like come on you know penis is this big calves are like grown man calves but i would sit there like it i've said this so many times i sit there in gym class they had to sit on the floor like and there's no chairs or anything so you're sitting like this and everyone's legs were like on display and mine were like hairless child legs with big calves that would like flop back and forth like like popeye yeah like i can't get it on camera because the fucking but the calves would like

flop around like that and uh you know even at like 12 years old but i had not a hair to be seen like anywhere but the top of my head and it was a real weird developer. Like powder. That's rough. Yeah, that had to be rough. Yeah, it I remember one time I was riding my bike I was like 15 years old or something and it's a beach, right? So I'm like, I'm only wearing like a bathing suit you know, I live in an ocean town. I was probably coming to

or from like checking the surf or something and these girls shout out like hey, nice chest and at the time I'm like I can't figure out if they're joking right like are they liking what they're seeing or are they making fun of me looking back ladies you could see my entire rib cage like through my pectoral muscles there's no way they were and my rib cage was giant like it still is like I think it's part of why I did well in swimming like

I just had better oxygen capacity. And I had this, I was like just fucking like a bird with this giant rib cage. And you can see all the ribs, like the pectorals would barely disguise the skeleton that I had underneath. And yeah, that was teenage me. God damn.

There was a kid in my grade who, I guess not at my school, but my age, who I knew, who had the same problem as you with not starting puberty, but it didn't get better. He got to be 16, and by that point, I already looked like I could be his dad. And he got to be 17 nothing 18 like the first like or no he's about to turn 18 and nothing had started to go and the doctors have been telling him like if nothing happens by like the time you're x age we're gonna go in and just kickstart this shit and so basically he went from no puberty at all through all of high school to a doctor going in and being like all right we're just gonna inject you with 100 pure serum of puberty it was like uh if you ever

seen so we're trying to make it do that those little guys into the big monsters it was like that we're like almost walking down the hall the next day be like hey rich what's up? And he'd be like, no, nothing. So he had to go through all of that awkwardness in like a year's time. That fast in a year's time. You don't know what limbs are doing what. There's no coordination. I think he was just happy

to get that ball rolling. I wish he knew that was a real thing. Do you think they gave him just testosterone and now he's on... It was a cocktail of different things. It wasn't just like... Let's get some testosterone, Woody. I want some. I feel like we need to get some bootleg Mexican testosterone.

I don't care where it came from. Once I'm good enough to tandem paramotor, we'll just go over in my fucking motorized kite, get all kinds of steroids and come home. You're going to need it because that wall is going to be pretty fucking high. Ah, we'll need cloud suck.

I really am so interested in that. I need to go to my doctor soon to get a prescription. Your doctor is awesome. Well, seemingly. I've gotten some good stuff from him before, but I'm having a hard time hedging this whole testosterone talk. I don't know where to begin with this. I think I'm just going to be honest. It's bad news, dude.

If I know your doctor, just... It's good for healthy men to take supplements of testosterone. Well, maybe I could be a little healthier. Like, I don't want double testosterone. I want like 8% more. Roids are like the only type of drug that I feel like doesn't make you a worse human. Like, you know, cocaine or hardcore black tar methamphetamine heroin. I feel like steroids and testosterone make you a better person in general 100% of the time.

Totally do it. You know, Jail Sonnen had this thing. Jail Sonnen was like, I need testosterone. It makes me a better guy. He's like, not just a better athlete. Testosterone makes me a better husband. Testosterone makes me a better dog owner.

I am the best version of me when I'm on T. Jail Sonnen really is kind of an asshole, though. You gotta take everything as well-solved. That's exactly what Leonardo DiCaprio would have said about lewds and cocaine in Wolf of Wall Street. Where it's like, you know, it'd be one of those pan shots of a girl naked having sushi on her. It'd be like, I was on top of the world, better than I've ever been. Doing cocaine all day and night, lewds in the middle of it.

Like, just like, that's what his, it's still a drug. Like, it's not gonna do the same shit, but it is bad for you. So because I watch a lot of UFC, the people are really in tune with the whole steroids thing. And it's weird. Like it's not just making you more muscular. Like it messes with people's head, their whole sense of self-worth. And you'd think you might be immune to it, but no one else seems to be. people's head, their whole sense of self-worth. And you'd think you might be immune to it,

but no one else seems to be. Their whole sense of self-worth is wrapped up in like the changes they're seeing to their body. It comes to the endologically, like your emotions, everything. That's one of the fears I have, right? Yeah, let's go to crazy town. That'll be fun. I need to be a good husband, right? Like let's say, for example, I take tea and now I'm short tempered. Well, you're 1950s husband.pered. So I think that I've had a lot of experience with steroids, but I think that it makes you more of whatever you are, I believe. Whenever I've met a guy who's really

nice... Oh my god, I will be an airplane fucking monster. Three armrests. No! Not all the armrests. What are you playing? I want yours too no one uses the armrest without my say so get off my armrest

you too I want two cans of coke two cans bitch I feel like if you're already kind of like a dick or a douche bag or whatever you mean I feel like if you take rides kind of like a dick or a douche bag or whatever you mean I feel like if you take rides you're gonna be even meaner. You know what I mean? It's very What if you're very rude and belittling to like wait staff? Ooh that you will be a monster in the way people will tell tales

After you leave their establishment. They do that already yeah no so part of me worries like what if i were to get like short-tempered or something like that like as a husband i don't want that to be part of me um and then coming off of it is a problem too right you know like i intend to live more than five years am i really going to be on these drugs for more than that no so so it works, and I'm certainly no expert, but you tell him. What am I doing? You're the one who's done the steroids. I've just got your knowledge. I've never done any steroids, just so you know.

He just had his dad spit into his mouth with all that. I've been around a lot of steroids. I actually, yeah, I've been around a lot of steroids. We'll just say, I've been around a lot of steroids. We'll just say some things. I actually just ran into Jay Culler this morning. You know Jay Culler, right?

The Mr. Olympia bodybuilder guy? Okay. So he is my stepdad's or my ex-stepdad's, one of his best friends in life. So I grew up around a lot of, not saying that he took them, but saying that I've been around. Professional bodybuilders, right? Who are known to take them. All right. Yeah, they don't. No, not at all. But my mom's ex-boyfriend, I think that he would have no problem with me saying this. professional bodybuilders right who are known to take them all right yeah they don't no no no not

at all but my mom's ex-boyfriend i think that he would have no problem with me saying this he uh did a lot of rides really big guy like 350 pounds like six foot four super muscular millionaire buff dude right like what are you what are you doing with 18 lamborghinis and 34 inch arms i don't know but yeah you do have cheat codes real life cheat codes pretty much but yeah once you get off you do have to do like a little um a little cocktail if you will to make sure that your estrogen levels don't shoot up and everything and uh pretty much it's so organized though i feel as though if you just do it right you're gonna be fine 100 of the time you know what i mean i've never i think just like with any drug, though,

if you're taking way too much of it, yeah, sure, maybe there's some side effects. He needs a juice partner. That's what he needs. We always talk about how awkward it would be for Woody to have to score pot. How much more awkward would it be for him to be in the gym and trying to score roids? Looking at the biggest guy he can find, it's like, hey, you on the juice? The next thing you know, you're in a headlock.

You're like, well, I guess you are. So... You give him really obvious signs of what you think is clear for steroids, like, hey, come on. Come on. I don't think that's the way. No, you know?

Hey, you light it with a spoon? Yeah. That sounds awesome. My cousin was always talking about a friend of his that did steroids, and he talked about that he would have emotional breakdowns every now and then, and have crying fits and shit, and smash walls,

and I wouldn't want anything like that. Here's a reason that roid rage exists. And who was that wrestler, that professional wrestler who went crazy exists the um so and who was that wrestler that professional wrestler who like went crazy and killed his family and hung himself uh chris something yeah the um the football like that's emotionally damaged person ready people did sure and maybe and maybe brain injuries from what he was doing to himself as well there could have been a lot of things that that's common for athletes like uh i guess boxers i don I don't know about MMA or UFC because they seem to do a good job distributing the beating better.

And so they're not always taken into the head. Enforcers in hockey, linebackers or linemen in football. There's a huge rate with people like that of killing themselves and harming others. Like on accident sometimes even because they just aren't with them. MMA is still young. It seems like the oldest MMA guys are just entering their upper 40s now. There's some, a few where they're 50 maybe, but it just doesn't have the history that a football does

where generations have played this game. It's finally starting to hit with hockey where a couple of enforcers, Todd Ewan, one of the enforcers for the blues I watched growing up, he killed himself, uh, last year, a dude, Steven Pete,

another enforcer from the early two thousands, mid two thousands, like can't remember shit anymore. Like he burned his house down because he just, he'll be cooking something and then walk away and has no memory of stuff. Like, cause I guess he got hit on the left side of his head too much. Uh, that's been happening for ages i'm sure it's going to come out for ufc but still like it'll look great compared to boxing there's a couple guys that i chuck liddell see the

thing is it's always been weird chuck liddell and chris lieben are the two i'm thinking of and both of them are just not like they were before they entered the sport they talk a little slower they seem a little more confused they're duller they're not sharp and uh forrest griffin has some of that as well forrest griffin was very charismatic almost like just near chel sun and like you know and his ability to like spin a tail and and win a crowd. And now he's kind of slow and dim-witted. And I wonder where that'll go over time. But with the exception of Forrest Griffin, with the exception of Forrest Griffin,

those guys have drug issues too. So, you know, you don't know. I don't know, man. Forrest Griffin. So I actually massage the UFC as well. God, I feel like every time. Yeah. So my company massages the UFC.

PJ, I'm the gay guy on the show, alright? I don't think you know me very well. I feel like I was on the podcast show with White Boy and all them, you know? Did Jive take his shirt off?

Did you guys have shirtless pose-offs? It was kind of really weird. I don't know. Did it make him very uncomfortable? Speaking of gay guy on the show, Jesus Jai. But I don't think people know about this. No, I was on there and I feel like there were some comments

that I got like, A, this guy is too hyper, or B, people would be like, this guy acts like he knows things about everything. No, he doesn't, but it's true. I really do massage the UFC, alright, just so everybody knows. I always feel, I don't know, obligated to say. Do you get any of the women ones?

We actually just massage Misha Tate. So, not me, but some person from my company. Good choice, right? But we go down there to the offices a lot, and Forrest Griffin is always there. He's still a really super charismatic guy. I don't know, I actually didn't pay too much attention to him beforehand. But, I mean, he still seems really super on point, to be honest with you.

I feel like he talks slower, and it's like he's figuring out every word. Really? I don't know. I just haven't paid attention enough to him. But I feel like he's been pretty much the same. I have a question for Woody about this PC I'm building. So it seems that immediately all of those 1080 graphic cards

sold out. And so I'm learning more and more about this thing as I go. So I guess the initial version is called the Founders Edition, right? And it's like $100 more than the Standard Edition that'll come later. And the other thing is that what I should really be waiting on, it seems, is for the third-party manufacturers to

take the 1080 and make it their own thing and add improvements that have to do with power consumption and cooling potentials and things of that nature, right? Cooling, for sure. I actually thought... God, someone's going to correct me on this, but I actually thought that the third-party stuff just had their own enclosures and they had better cooling. Okay. Your own philosophies about it.

If you stuff the case really full, then you might value cooling that shoves it outside. Sure. Whereas if it's the only card in there and there's something else, then spinning it around inside the case is okay. So it seems that I definitely want to wait for some third-party version of this 1080, right? I don't know.

There's always a wait, right? This is a short wait. Because, I mean, I won't be able to get... The only way to get one right now is if you go on Amazon, they're like a grand. And all they're doing is adding you to a waiting list. They're going to be like, oh, yeah, shipping delays for three weeks until they get you one.

That's not cool. Plus, the grand thing is not cool. I don't know. I might wait for them to come in stock and then just pull the trigger. You're going to be in a cycle here where two weeks, four weeks from now, there'll be something around the corner

that's interesting. Asus came out with theirs, but we have to wait and see what someone else does. Is it AMD that just released the budget card that can max out 1080p games in 1080p? It's like a $300 card, I think.

But what I'm concerned is definitely the 1080 and one or two of them is still yet to be determined. But I'm definitely getting that monitor that we looked at last time and then it's just building the rest of it around it. One of the things that's a bummer for me is because I'm so bad at like... I need someone

to help me put the parts together, I guess, because I think there's some areas where it's easy to waste a bunch of money when it's just unnecessary. I've done that. I did that in my build. I wasted money. I don't think I need 64 gigs of RAM or anything. That seems outrageous.

I don't think I need like 5 terabytes of hard drive either. I don't think I need five terabytes of hard drive either. I don't think I need a solid-state drive that's bigger than it. I'm kind of interested in that one terabyte. Actually, on the solid-state drive might be a spot where I spend some money. One terabyte to solid-state. When I build, I will. 64 gigs is probably twice as much as I'd buy for you.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking as well. I wasted money on a really high-end motherboard and it has cool features like you know it it can manage to start up the cpu even when it's frozen and i gotcha yeah so it's got a lot of like aftermarket features that don't apply unless you're going in some niche direction exactly you know crazy sorts of things for overclocking competitions. I would like to overclock everybody. First of all, I don't have them overclock. I'm talking about using liquid nitrogen as your

temporary cooling source. Now, Chiz and I have been talking about liquid nitrogen and that, like, dude, I... Now, let me just say this. If doing that is a $200 or $300 upgrade, or if you're like, well, you're close, it's actually $400, then I might consider it just on the cool factor, because I think it's funny

to be like, well, actually, my PC has to be cooled by liquid nitrogen. You know, it's temporary, though, right? Like, it goes away... Well, I'll have a big tank of it. It's not just some magic fluid that stays cold. Yeah, I'll have a big fucking tank of it. I'm sure I can find something to do with the excess liquid nitrogen I'll have.

It's gonna be like changing a fucking cat litter in there. No, not even cat litter. You're talking about four minutes of run time. I'll need a very large tank, of course, or many tanks. Whatever it takes. You just pour more. I've seen it done.

I've never done it, but they have, like, they take the CPU, you can picture a little card, instead of having a heat sink on it, they have like a bottomless glass, you know, and then you pour it into the glass and the nitrogen's sitting on top of the CPU sealed on there, and when it starts to run low, you pour in more liquid nitrogen, and you just, you're pouring it on the CPU. It seems like a really like needless like Gilligan's Island style way of using a computer where you're pouring more liquid in, trying to make it work at the same time,

and then you're cranking the coconut lever or whatever. It's competitive overclocking. It's every bit as stupid as hockey and baseball like we talked about earlier. Competitive overclocking. Can you explain what that means? Yeah, literally. People compete to run their CPU at the highest rate. No, they do not.

They do. their CPU at the highest rate you know like no they do not they do then they don't my motherboard is one you might use in these competitions and I thought like I'm just getting the best one do you do anything with it or do you just like try and update Skype a lot and your fucking computer like what do they do well I mean I I used its overclocking features but i didn't use anything that wouldn't be in a cheaper motherboard and there are other there's like ports in the back where you can put like external monitors to see how stuff is going without like needing a screen and they're just a pain in the ass to me because i'm like trying to stick a usb in there seven times before i realize that's not what it is and yeah. How do you win an overclocking match?

There's a judge. I have only seen it like on YouTube. I don't pretend to be an expert, but there's a judge that verifies that you ran. The head virgin steps up. Of course he wears the wizard cloak and the hat. Yeah, the grand virgin. Grand virgin.

And he verifies that you ran. I hope people correct me if I get this wrong, but he verifies that you ran it. I hope people correct me if I get this wrong. But he verifies that you ran at a given frequency for some period of time. And he checks your phone for contacts. Upon seeing no female names, hands it back. And if you really did run at a frequency for a minute, I made that up. I don't know what it is. But, you know, it booted at that.

Then you succeeded and you win. I suppose it's compared to those competitions. They had those competitions when they run sound systems. They have really loud subwoofers. And they have competitions to see who's got the loudest car. Or those competitions where they have the hydraulic cars and stuff jumping up and down. You know about this as a Mexican. There's all kinds of silly things like that can't hop over that wall or you know heck even the

drifting competitions that's not an efficient way to get around a track that's cool though looks like the most efficient way i'm told it's not that did you be much better to stick to the you don't see f1 guys all drive i bet it depends on what kind of like if you're in a really nice race car i bet yeah it can grip way better but if you're in a honda civic with like a glass pack and some like pretty much a stock engine you gotta drift it like around i think drifting is just for show with the exception of that um what is this dirt sprint car stuff oh stuff? Oh, and the type of motorcycle racing. I don't want to get away from the PC thing, though,

because I want to get this thing built. I want the parts. I want to start playing my game of expensive-ass fucking Legos and get going with this, but I guess there's some components that I'm sure are going to be just like, yeah, you definitely want this motherboard or this amount of this kind of RAM, but

beyond that, I know I want the 1080 graphics card. I just don't know where else I'm going. But I want to get started on that. I want to make that happen. I guess I've got to wait on the cards, though. I guess what I could do is get the rest of it and put it together, but how upset, how

awful is it going to be to have the fully set up thing sitting there waiting on the graphics cards? That's up to you, I guess. I don't know. I thought that I broke my AC, you guys, because I turned it off for this. If it's too loud, I'll turn it off again. But I live in Vegas.

It's like 150,000 degrees here, Celsius. I don't like it there. I really hate it. It's so hot in here right now. The air is so dry, I always get nosebleeds. Really? That sounds terrifying. When I blow my nose in the shower, it's all nosebleeds. Really? That sounds terrifying. When I blow my nose in the shower, it's all these bloody boogers.

It's disgusting. I never sleep well when I'm out there. And then the time zone change. I really hate Vegas. When I first started woodworking, I didn't wear any kind of – I didn't have dust collection. I didn't have a respirator. And I would just breathe in sawdust all the time and the next morning I'd like blow a dowel out right when you you train with the gi right or no yeah well both but go on when you train with

the gi every night after jiu-jitsu you go home you blow your nose and it's like a bunch of like lint from other people's gis I never heard that oh well i train hard i go i get serious that's probably what it was we were just joking around i've had black people's gear it's how i do it i've had it be black before like like blow black snot from uh from gut from the gunpowder and explosions and stuff and the the aluminum powder i'm sure that can't be good for you. I bet cocaine up your nose is not as damaging as gunpowder. It puts hair on your chest. Yeah, it makes me feel strong.

GunTaylor, what are you typing? I'm curious. I was trying to find an interesting video of people overclocking their PCs for us to watch and I just skipped around one video and it was one dude, it was like CPU overclocking

fail and I'm like, oh, let's see what they got. And it was a dude sitting there like six minutes long. I skipped up to about five minutes and it's just a dude sitting in front of a computer with, there's a couple lights blinking in the tower and then he moves his monitor, it all

goes black and he acts like there's been a problem and I'm supposed to be like oh what a rube like how fucking stupid is that like needless that's like flooring your car until it breaks and then being disappointed find a montage of this so maybe like

get that let the bodies hit the floor let the bodies hit the floor and then just hit the power button jump cuts to the zoom in on the liquid yeah that's like you know one updating skype two updating adobe reader like just trying to hit everything three downloading steam games nothing wrong with me god I love going back and finding Call of Duty montages from like 2008 yes sir Chris yeah still holds it up to this day I don't think so wrong woody I'm sorry I'm often wrong but it's wrong wrong. Zerg Riz is a man. No, he did a great job. With like that weird spiral thing on top where the guy like pedals and it kind of spins and you never leave the ground from like 1906.

It's like if someone made that now, you'd give them shit. But it was back then, so you give them a little bit of credit. It's like at least they were trying something. That's what Zerg Riz is. You can't go back and watch it now. It sucks. But at the time, it was the only thing in the market

dude if you watch it now it's 480p 480p down sampled from 1080p like you're probably thinking the Matrix trilogy is all in HD I'm pretty sure I don't think it is and if you watch the Matrix trilogy again

back then it was groundbreaking just to have like like oh he used something from the opening cut scene that was a great idea you know whereas before everyone was just multiplayer like half of the loading screen you're like wow some real production value here in the helicopter flying over iraq like you know he bothered to go to single player and grab a cut scene like they did a lot more than that there was some there was a lot of stuff going on that i'm not even sure how they did it but but i think that's true like they put things there was like tvs on a table if i remember right and then the gameplay would be on that tv and then they'd zoom

in and suddenly like you're watching tv right he ran down the stairs with the deagles the double deagles yes yeah that was crazy that he did get stuff but I'm just like I feel like if I want to now like you know I'm not following the he's running down the the stairs in cod4 on what's that map called I love that map map. I know the name of it. The one with the... District? Oh, I think you're right. He runs on the stairs like Matrix while running with two deagles, which you can't do in COD 4 because they had done that

somehow. I want to say this. Woody, I agree with you to an extent. I understand that so much has been done since then, but as a classic, it's like when you look back and you watch one of the classic movies, the original Godzilla, the best movie of all time. You don't compare it to movies now.

That's a lie. You don't compare it to movies now. You just say, yes, it was good. That's it. Yeah. Even if you go back to the best of the best old movies, I'm sure there's some movie buff out there who would debate this, but you're objectively wrong.

You're totally wrong. People who say shit like, oh, Citizen Kane is the best movie of all time. I went back and watched that about four years ago, and I'm the idiot because I expected a movie from the fucking 30s to be revolutionary to me, someone born in the era of the Internet. And good Lord, if somebody made that now, they'd be laughed out of Hollywood.

Student film. Like, a student film, but you have to appreciate, it's not, I was waiting for, like, the really deep symbolism and the messages and the, oh, wow, you know, oh, this guy really is the fucking newspaper kingpin. Like, it's just, it's just not, not, I don't know, maybe it's not compelling, because back then, like, Nazis were the number one threat. Well, let me tell you about something that's not insane, and that is movement watches. Not insane. Very reasonable.

The past few months, we've been working a lot with movement watches. We love them. You guys love them. So I asked myself, why do I only have one? You see, movement offers different colored bands, different faces, and different styles for each of their watches. Movement watches start at just $95, so do some quick math. You could have a couple of Movement watches and it would still be a better deal than having one department store watch. Get a blue one, a white one, maybe sandstone is your thing. Whatever your style is, Movement has watches and bands to match for every outfit in your arsenal. There's

no hassles, just order online with free shipping, free returns, and a 24-month warranty. So join their more than 1 million social media followers and get a movement watch today. That's MVMTwatches.com slash PKA today, and they'll give you 15% off your entire purchase. That's MVMTwatches.com slash PKA. I actually, I love the movement watches. I use your code. Love it. I have two. I got one for me, one for my girlfriend. It works way better than any other watch I've ever had. I really, I endorse the product. And he's wearing a PKA shirt, so he wouldn't just say that.

Oh, I don't even think you can see it. So he knows quality. Oh, yeah, there we go. PKA. Also available in the description. Black on black. Also available. Black on black.

Black on black. It's the only way. No one will speak up about it it's subtle so people see me they say what a classy shirt and then they get closer and they realize it's even classier than they originally thought pka is on it i like that is that the baseball style shirt where it's like the yes it is i have this rolled up but yes it's a baseball style shirt boom boom it's amazing i go outside sometimes and my girlfriend legitimately doesn't like me to wear this shirt because I get so many numbers from random girls. They just come up to me.

Tell me about it. Help me try to massage and all that. Yeah, I'm sure. So, do you play – you talked all about the FPS games you like and whatnot. Have you ever played RTS games? Ever given those a fair shake? I'm a huge fan of RTS games. Absolutely love them.

I play them almost nightly. Do you? No, he's doing the hockey thing. I just want to be accepted, you guys. Deep love of StarCraft. Yeah, we've been playing a bunch of company of heroes i i uh i'm really digging that game i didn't like so kyle basically had a uh uh he texted me yesterday and was like i got a japan mod and in my head like i'm at work i'm thinking

like i can't wait to get home and play with like the arisaka rifleman and the fucking you know whatever kind of tanks they had i don't't know. And then Kyle texts again. He's like, oh, they just use the German units, and it just changes the name. Yeah. And so all of the wonder and the mystery was gone, and it was a little disappointing. But overall, I really like the game. I have a second Japan mod, and on that one, they look Japanese. Really? Yeah. Okay, well, then I, and on that one, they look Japanese. Really?

Yeah. Okay, well, then I want to play that one. Half of it is like, this sounds so stupid that I wouldn't want to play them because of the way they look, but it's like a systematic World War II game. They have Japanese people's faces for each unit, you know what I mean? If that matters. You know what I have started? They have a poison truck as one of their units that you can build immediately.

You just park this truck somewhere and press a button and instead of healing in a radius it just vents poison gas that is invisible and damages all units, friend or foe. It's such a bullshit weapon. That is a Japan thing to do.

We put the poison in the truck into a field and leave it you're not fucking with me then i actually do want to try that mod because it sounds stupid it's a world war ii game i want it to be in theme the only problem with it is it only has one commander um and yeah but but it's fun yeah i'm really digging it i like it because it's world war ii and i'm not a i don't know what i'm not an expert about world war ii weapons but a lot of them i've shot in real life, and I've handled them and stuff. I may not know who invented them or anything, a certain thing.

What it takes to be an expert in the gun world is way too high of a bar. Yeah, yeah. You have to be a bit of a historian, slash gunsmith, slash mechanic, slash it helps if you speak German, it seems. A lot of Waffenwarfers and Stufen Schniffels out there

Stufen Schniffels Schniffenwarfers they wore flamin but I've shot a lot of those guns so it's cool to use them in the game and see that they took considerations as to how did this thing operate in real life and not just how the gun operates in real life

when they're determining its range and it's, you know, it's the radius that it can like pan left and right without having to hop up and replace. But even like the infantry in the game, you know, the Russian infantry are conscripts. Their guys just kind of rousted up and sent into battle, you know, throw them a rifle and get in there and get at it. There's six of them, which is a lot, but they suck at their job. But the Brits, on the other hand,

they only got four guys, four hard asses. And when they're in cover, they've got extra abilities where it's hard to uproot them, because that's a thing that the British do. And then the Germans... I think we talked about this already. We've even described all these units before, yeah. I think I had this conversation with you

maybe in the game when we were prepping for play. Oh, we'll know when the show's released. I don't mind hearing something. They're going to be like, God damn it, Woody. You ruined conscript talk. Yeah, conscript talk. It's a really good game.

I'm enjoying it a lot. It's much easier to get people into the nature mythology or are you probably even starcraft i'm not gonna join chis and play starcraft i can't get into the space laser fighting it's just not just our side chis has gotten on two or three times now and played uh company of heroes with us and and then we get three or four fans in there uh play some d there's we've got a d-day map which is like you know exact it's a replica of normandy Beach, which is kind of fun. So we've been having a good time. I like playing with the fans.

That's the cool part. There's that, what's his name? Gun Surgeon. He does our, like, monthly fan meetup things where we all have, like, a Skype call together. And I learned he only had one arm. He lost an arm in a motorcycle accident. Dude, did you read the webpage you sent? I don't think I did.

Yeah, so he's like, hey, I've got a write-up of how that accident went down. I was like, oh, cool. But then after we ended the call, I went and read it. That was a hardcore accident, man. What was it? Can you give a quick run-through? Ah, shit, it was like a month ago. So he was in a motorcycle accident, and it wasn't his fault. Someone did something that made him hit it. His face broke.

He had like many surgeries to fix his face. Uh, he lost his arm and, uh, and Oh, the, um, the rehab, like all the physical therapy he had to do to come back from that was brutal. And like, it wasn't like he went straight to this great rehab hospital or something he's like i'm gonna mess this up but he's like fort lauderdale rehab they're the worst you know tiles falling off the ceiling is that like it it like he had like it was they make you fend for yourself in fort lauderdale really trying to get you back in the world it was it was Tetanus first. Dude, you read the thing and you're like... Because on TV, when people have these horrific accidents... Like, I watched Friday Night Lights.

Is that what it is? Where the quarterback, like, in the opening pilot episode, the quarterback gets a spinal injury and he has to recover and stuff. But he has all this love and support. And the whole town loves him and the rehab place is fantastic and he makes good paraplegic friends and stuff. This was not this guy's idea.

It didn't happen to him at all. He was just like, I had to get out of that shithole. They rescued me from here. And it was a real rough recovery. Yeah, wow. Well, I've been playing some Company of Heroes with him. He seems like a nice guy.

Yeah, he does seem like a nice guy. So speaking of terrible injuries, UFC fights this weekend. What do you think's happening, Woody? I'm sorry, are we talking about this is the Rockhold Bisping event? Yes. Dominic Cruz and Uriah Faber.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gotta take favor in that one. No. It's a terrible decision. We'll see. Come whatever day it is. There's a thing, yeah. Gotta take a favor in that one. No. That is a terrible decision. We'll see. Come whatever day it is. There's a thing, though. So Dominic Cruz did an interview on Fox.

Did you see his knuckle? Uh-uh. Dude, so the source is my ass, but that is broken as fuck, dude. His knuckle, it looks like there's an egg sticking out of it, and it's all black and blue. I didn't see this. Yeah, Dominic Cruz's right hand is fucked up. I consider myself a huge UFC

guy, and I pay attention to everything, probably much like yourself. I'm on bloody elbow. I read the MMA forms every day. Obviously, I do the whole UFC stuff, too. But I did not see that. You just said that my pick was bad, though. I didn't pick Cruz.

I picked Fabio or whoever. Yeah, I changed my mind. Well, okay, so here's the deal. In terms of style matchups, Faber is custom built to get his ass kicked by Cruz. Right? He's basically a wrestler. He only moves forward and backwards,

and Cruz has such great footwork. What's Cruz? Like a boxer? He boxer a human male um oh he shit I don't know well he is great wrestling and great striking and um in UFC terms he's kind of groundbreaking with how well he cuts off the cage and gets himself out of trouble like he just he dances around so much which you'd think is easy, but it's actually somewhat complicated, that no one can seem to get him where they want. They can't set him up to hit him properly. It's very difficult to do that to him. He, on the other hand, seems to just float like a butterfly and hit you all the time. Not super hard, but he touches you up. And Faber is

particularly well-suited to be abused by his style. Except that Cruz has got a busted hand, and I don't know how that plays into it. Where is this interview at? I want to see it. It was on Fox, and I saw it on YouTube. I will find it on YouTube right now, and I will give you my expert opinion. Being a guy who's broken all of my knuckles multiple times, just kidding. That's a lie.

But I have broken all the fingers and stuff. So it wasn't a lie. I don't know what to believe with you. God knows what lies he told Chiz. Who is this man? This guy isn't even a fucking YouTuber. The real guy is tied up under the desk. You're just a Vegas burglar.

Well, I hear the sirens, so it's time to call it a night, guys. Yeah. You're coming to bust up my massage ring. I sometimes lie. Little lies, though. I'm like, I lie a little. Lies a little bit. Liar.

Not a liar, though. Would never lie about anything serious. Like a trouble kind of liar. Like just little, you change your mind, little things. You sprinkle them. Lies are friends you just haven't met yet. You sprinkle them across your. Lies are friends you just haven't met yet you sprinkle them across your uh lies are friends can we can we group watch this sure all right so there's um there's a starting time stamp on there so it should take you to right to 125

i want to pause at 125 like don't jump right into it you guys know the deal um what you're going to see is he covers his hand throughout the entire interview his left hand or his right hand I think his left hand is covering his right the whole time he sits here like this except at one point I think he wants to say like twice and you'll see his busted up

knuckle oh my god twice before and they're one and one that's right. All right. Ready, set, play. I'm about to get the belt right now. No, you're not.

You didn't touch it when I was gone. For four years, you couldn't do it. Did you see that knuckle? Oh, wow. He says, for four years, you couldn't do it. That's what I keep saying. I'm about to get the belt right now. No, you're not. You didn't touch it when I was gone.

Oh, my God. Yeah. His knuckle is messed up, my friends. Yeah. People say I don't know anything about the UFC, and while I don't know everything, I honestly am a fan of this stuff, you know? I follow closely.

Oh, that's... Yeah, at 129, you can see it in particular. And later at, like, 150-something. Jesus, what... Who is Faber? Is Faber dark hair, or... Faber's the one with the cleavage in his chin. But at the same time, I think that he could beat Garbrandt. It's like two bad actors

being told to argue. Actually, I find Cruz's arguments to be really good. He uses logic in them. He's one of the few kind of smart people that are fighting. And he calls people dummy a lot.

He's like, no, you said this and then you said that, you dummy. And it's like, well, fuck, I guess compared to you. You're just so deflated. And he just makes all these sound arguments, backed up usually with stats. Like, you know, you think you're going to take the title? I was gone for four years.

You didn't touch the belt. You think you're going to touch it now? You had three chances. And you're just like, oh, man, he's really pushing all the right buttons in this argument. You stinker. But that's my take on it. His knuckle looks pretty messed up. Yeah, I would have to agree with you there.

That looks like it might be broken. If it wasn't for that knuckle. I'm pulling for the crimson chin in this one. You got a Kim Kardashian butt on his face. It's beautiful. So as much as I want Bisping to win, I just feel like Rockhold is just, he's very good at MMA, and he's a fucking perfect specimen of a human.

Like, I don't know that we've ever had a better athlete in the ufc like can you feel like they say that the sport is so they say that every year like john jones was that guy last year and the year before that it was oh gsp or who all these people it seems like every year the sport is in its infancy so much that it's an exciting time to watch you know because every year they're figuring new shit out. There's not going to be somebody in the NFL that comes out and just totally does football differently and just takes the world by storm. It's too mature.

It's too chiseled down to a science. It's possible Dana White is such a good promoter that any line of bullshit he spews, I eat the fuck up. I'm just like, oh yeah, really? This is not a once in a lifetime, a once in an ever? I'll be buying the pay-per-view.

We haven't had a once in a lifetime opportunity like this since December. Always happens. But yeah, anyway, I think Rockhold is just too much for Bisping. Where is Rockhold better? He's better on the feet, and he's better on the ground

and he's a lot better in transition. Yeah, right? In life, pretty much. Yeah, right. He's better looking. His confidence must be through the roof because his looks are everywhere. I don't even like the guy but i can't deny his superiority i hope his spring wings i predict rockhold does i would have predicted cruise one if it wasn't for that knuckle thing now i don't know what to make of it um i think it looks very

painful outside of the top two i don't remember the rest of the card do you um max holloway uh versus somebody and then uh hector lombard versus dan henderson beautiful fight oh dude it's like the xtrt battle right the the this v2r on this card man if we get v2r trt v2r against uh luke rockhold i'm saying he gets his head kicked off again. It would be beautiful. I think Rockhold beats TRT-less Vitor. But with TRT, though. Oh. Like, what a monster. TRT-tor is a whole other animal. He's a monster.

TRT is testosterone replacement therapy, and it used to be legal in the UFC. But what it's supposed to do is bring your levels up to that of a normal guy. And what people would do is just bring it... They'd be superhuman. I think Kyle just wants to boost a little. He just wants to be normal and a half, right? No, Kyle is a go big or go home kind of guy. Not with something like this.

I feel like with this... So what it really feels like it's it's like a every every ounce of effort you put into working out would be getting 120 results it's like oh wow yeah it's all it all means something every every little bit of like uh suffering that that i go through but and yeah i feel like you'd recover more quickly because because i i i'm so sore the day after i'm so sore the the day after i do leg stuff like i'm just i'm crippled it's bad i've got one of those foam rollers and it's excruciating like i'm literally in the living room rolling that thing with like all my body weight on like one muscle group groaning and like biting my teeth

like just clenching my jaw to to like wring the lactic acid in my legs so that I don't walk with a limp. That's happening to me. I do this paramotor training. I don't want it to dominate all my conversations. No, I want to talk more about it. We haven't talked about it at all tonight. We talked about you potentially being sucked away and sort of wisdom-vising yourself.

I'm just conscious of the fact that it's not everybody's cup of tea. What people can get on board with is you're carrying something heavy like that wing weighs i don't know dozens of pounds and uh uh you're running down you're doing like wind sprints up and down a hill and the next day like as i zip up the stairs my legs just don't have the pop that i'm accustomed to them having like i in terms of arm strength i'm kind of just like a regular person, but I really do have pretty strong legs.

Like, you know, more than average. And, uh, uh, you know, I'm just not used to like running upstairs and being like,

dude, like I didn't really just sore up that shit. Like that was work. And I feel the muscles in a way that normally they don't have any like feeling in them. They're sore. They're beat. It might be an age thing.

I don't know. How old are you? You're like 43. 43? 43. That shows you how long I've been watching. I remember when you were just a wee child at like 38 or whatever. You were so young.

I remember everyone used to insult me. They're like, that dude's like 40. I'm like, I'm 37, you dick. You know? I just found out. I've been calling Keemstar like 40-something this whole time, and he's like 36 or something. I just found that out.

I just thought that was hilarious. I thought he was like 45. I was on his Call of Duty team and stuff. Really? I don't know if you knew that. Yeah, I'm like, so he's always been nice to me. He actually reminds me a lot of my stepdad. Both are huge douches, and so I'm used to that.

But either way, I was on his cod team, and the whole time, I just thought he was like 47. So every time I talked about him... Oh, man. Just found out he was much younger than I thought. Thought it was hilarious. Yeah. He hasn't been follically blessed.

No, not at all. Except for in his beard. His beard his beard is pretty yeah he can't grow a beard yep but can't grow a hair in his head oh my gosh no no i can't sit on here all right okay okay uh i was at uh expo with like uh some people and there were some big youtubers there that do not like that guy. I brought him up. I was – whatever. Either way, there were some huge YouTubers that legitimately I thought they were going to fight me when I said I was friends with them. Really? Like who?

Type it in. Oh, man. I cannot say names here, but I will say names through my keyboard. I don't know if you guys know him. I know Evan. Like, 3 million subs. We're supposed to hang out at E3, actually, in a couple weeks. And him, and like some other dudes there,

mainly him. He was the main guy who was very upset with me about it. But god dang, dude. I like that guy's videos. I've seen some of his stuff. I don't watch them all or anything. Super nice guy. Super nice. I'm supposed to go to his house in Texas. He lives somewhere out there. You might be starting to give away.

You're pre-doxing him. Yeah, right? I don't know. His house on Earth. Yeah, Del Rio, Texas, in Mexico. I don't know if this has been brought up on the show, but I started thinking about this the other day about you, Woody. Where were you when you were thinking about me? me tell me more i was in the bathtub um but i was thinking about how you

always shit on the the superpower of being able to fly yeah and yet here you are moving heaven and earth making you know lots of effort and lots of time and money. Well, the thing about strapping a fan to your back and putting on a parachute is that it solves a transportation problem that I don't have. You know what? First of all, I recognize the hypocrisy, and I saw this conversation coming.

Yeah, I bet you did. The thing is, I don't feel like I'm wrong. This whole paramotoring thing unless you count enjoyment and possibly an interesting video here and there uh or a clip or portion of a video it doesn't have any purpose like it's not a great way to get milk you know like if if we run out of bread it's not gonna strap on the paramotor and land in the parking lot. I just thought it was funny that you wouldn't want to be able to fly at will, but you would want to be able to fly with something that looks like something a guy in the 20s would use to escape Alcatraz. Now, that's not true because I would love to be able to fly at will, and I always would have.

But the argument was like, hey, choose a superpower. And they put flying at the top of the list whereas time travel invisibility like like almost every other superpower is more useful than basic flying a lot and get your super strength up to par you decided to put a fan on your back and take to the way take today I took the learning to be really crafty for invisibility just kind of blend in. Unless invisibility is paired with, I'm sorry, flying

is paired with other superpowers that make it more useful, like the ability to resist extreme heat and cold, whatever would happen. Some super flying strength. Just being able to not use ladders is cool.

Like, you know, imagine how quickly you could work on the stable if you could just float to the rafters. It's like being able to breathe underwater, but you can't withstand any different pressure than a normal human. So you can just, like, breathe in Olympic pools. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And as nice as it would be not to need ladders when I'm like wiring up the stable, it's not the superpower that I choose over. Like invisibility is amazing on its own, right?

Controlling time or teleporting are amazing on their own. Like if I could teleport, step one, I'm setting up a delivery company. You know, like just get a whole boxes and be like zap bam zap you know take things in play when you absolutely absolutely need it there right now you call woody prices are high you are founding some kind of company to compete with fedex with your teleportation when my first thought is i could teleport into any bank vault on earth and back here like oh they're starting to catch on you know better teleport to a bank in new york and then ah

i wonder how they're doing in tel aviv and then just like sitting around you know your idea does seem easier than delivering packages and checks and stuff i like that you're trying to start with your power that's nice i also like how you're trying to start a business with your power. That's nice. I also like how you made it so that flying didn't seem thrilling because you said something like, you know, flying, what's that good for? I don't have to use the stairs at my house? Like, what a small area to fly.

No, there's way more things. I just want to throw this out there. If I had flying, I would be doing more than, like, I don't know, flying to the second floor of my house. You know, I'd be flying places. Maybe start a delivery service, you know, was my idea. That's a great idea. Now I'm on board.

No, this is great. I don't see that going okay for you, Woody, until you get, like, one customer service complaint about being too slow. And you go on, like, a long diatribe of, like, if you didn't know, Woody's teleportation express delivery. I literally teleported to you it couldn't be faster if another person teleported it to you just getting pissed off about something like that like the haters in

I can't imagine something more banal than a delivery service with your teleportation ability that is mind blowing to me that level of mad you are that you're like, well, I might be able to really, I mean, I might be in the red for a bit, but after a little bit, I mean, the overheads would be

nothing. I think I see a lot of potential. That's a real premium for five-second delivery. Yeah, right? Fun time magazine, looking over his shoulder, like, changing game. I don't know.

Forbes, baby. It's got to be for a time but yeah i i i'm going to learn to fly and it's going to be virtually useless but i should say you got bullied at the flying place? Oh, yeah. You had an experience with bullying from a couple days ago. I'm trying to remember what we're thinking of. I know we talked about the armrest thing. Okay, I thought maybe it was also like, I thought you got bullied at

flying camp or wherever you're getting trained to fly the paramotor. They mostly like me. If anything, I get too much love and attention because I'm taking videos and stuff all the time. Some people think it's this really cool thing and I'm just like,

can I just be like everybody else? I need to take the footage, but sometimes there's a little of that. Next time you need to sit down with your flight squadron and have a beer. I did that. Drink the beer. I didn't drink, of course, but they all did.

Maybe sit for a while if you don't like it. You know, pretend. Like, oh, me and the, ah. I like being a man. Man. How are you liking it so crisp like yeah i read it like i really taste the the malt um like i don't know what's in a What's in a beer? Hops. On the side of a Bud Light.

Ah, the beach wood. Yeah, I heard they make their own barrels. So, interesting story. They just make the tin cured in an oak barrel for 30 minutes. 40 seconds, you know. We got a lot of turnover.

Honestly, it's just a tube made of barrels, but we can count it. We spoke to an attorney. If we filter it through real quick. I think it would be funnier if you broke out your martini or whatever with that crowd. Just break out the little mixer thing

and pour yourself a little Manhattan. Like a rainbow martini or a gingerbread martini or whatever with that crowd like just break out like the little mixer thing and just pour yourself a rainbow martini or a gingerbread martini yeah put your little gingerbread man in there that's the only way to drink man what i want you to do is get a flask fill it with like go to the store buy the most intense looking bourbon or whiskey you can fill it up next time you're there they offer you a drink and you go no i'm good pull out the flask undo it you act like you're taking a drink so don't fill it up all the way you know just take enough to put a little in your mouth so you smell like it and then just close your lip so it looks like you're drinking and then be like ah oh that's good you want some and then everybody will be like that guy's hard as fuck better yeah like go the wings of redemption like take the like the hardest

looking like i don't know um what's the's the black one that has a 7 on it I think Jack Daniels Buy the Jack Daniels Pour it out, fill it with sweet tea, same color And when they're like No, no, no, I don't like to have beer and drive Or something

Chug a lug of the sweet tea I really like Jack Can I have a drink of that? No, no, I need every drink. I think that guy's an alcoholic. He just drank a fifth of Jack and then drove home. If I don't finish this by myself, I'm going to start shaking, and that's not good for me in the sky.

Hardly affected him. Someone was telling me, not telling me, I think I saw it on a podcast or something, someone was telling me not telling me i think i saw it on a podcast or something but they were saying alcohol and one other one were the only drugs that don't stop working and the other one might have been caffeine what do you mean like that you don't eventually like um maybe the other one was steroids did you see the same thing i did you know what i'm talking about i would assume if you were on roids and you were working you'd'd be done with all of your woodwork. He's saying don't build a tolerance to those. Yeah, don't build a – like cocaine sort of stops working. I think you do build a tolerance to them to some regard.

It's true. Like to alcohol for sure because, I mean, I've seen it. I've seen what hardcore alcoholics can do. They can drink incredible amounts of beer but i think the point what he's making is like a guy like the hardest core alcoholic in the world couldn't take like a gallon jug of vodka drink the whole thing and just like not feel anything yeah your liver can only take so much yeah like it's still going true with that i feel like i don't really have experience with it but like cocaine and a lot of drugs heroin meth etc aren't you always chasing that first high?

Like all the other highs are not quite as good. They talk about that with heroin more than anything. You're chasing the dragon. With alcohol, you're never like chasing that first drunk. No, no, no. There's many more drunks. Many drunks to come. Yeah.

You can always have more drunks. More drunks. I haven't. You can always have more drunks. More drunks. I haven't been drunk in a long time. I don't... We can do a... I was probably there. If you guys want. You might have been.

It's been a long time since I have gotten drunk. I feel like people don't know what they're asking for when they ask me to be a drinking episode. It's like, let's do an episode where we all just like hit our testicles every so often. Like, you know, give it a good bop. Yeah, that's how I feel about the drink. Like, do I have to? It tastes awful. It makes me sweaty.

It makes me fat. Like, I need more of that. It makes me like... You sweat? All the bad things that happen. Like, I just... Alcohol is not a good night for me. Why does it make you sweaty?

Has it always done that? Is that just me? Yes. Huh. I don't get sweaty. No, no, my upper lip starts here. I'm, like, real conscious of it. Some people get that.

Yeah, I remember I was riding home on my bike in seventh grade, and it's hot as balls out. And some other kid goes, Ugh, you've got sweat on your upper lip. That's disgusting. Okay, so for 30 years now I've been self-conscious about having beads of sweat on my upper lip. Like, oh no, I can't have that. Apparently it's the grossest thing there is. My birthday is this weekend actually, so I might have one beer.

Thank you. I appreciate it, man. What a great birthday gift. Let me just say thank each and every one of you here. No, seriously, though, Woody, you, that guy, beautiful time. Love being here. And I'm going to go. Totally, no, I'm staying.

But it is my birthday. I'm super excited. And this was, Chiz hit me up, and it's my, it was a good birthday gift, for sure. I'm excited to be here. Did Chiz hit you up today? I'm turning 25. What's up? When did Chiz hit you up? He, I have been talking to him since, like, December.

Oh, okay. But he hit me up last night. He's like, yo, you want to be a guest? And I was, like, in the shower, and I was like, my girlfriend was here. I was like, babe, babe, she's like can i come over she was supposed to be here right now and i was like can you come over no you stay in your house i'm very busy did you misunderstand me you dumb whore like not paying attention overstepping your bounds i'm like i'm a basically you know fighter who can massage people i'm not in a drought by any means so you fucking listen yeah no it's it's

great no it's beautiful so what you were saying about the drinking episode though woody we should do it eventually you know i'm honestly not in a rush for it either like there's none of us are pushing for it but uh like we will eventually because people want to see it but you just haven't picked anything that's good to drink like if you there is stuff out there so wait if i understand this correctly provided i keep picking bad things to drink we'll never have a drinking episode yeah well no no i'm saying like you're making yourself drink stuff that's, like, grosser than what you would like. Like, you're making yourself drink big, thick, like, like, uh, it rate drinks, and that, like, I was watching you do that. Like, that's just awful.

Like, why was he, ah! I pretty much did, like, the gallon milk challenge that night. Yeah, see, you basically, you're like, oh, man, drinking alcohol is so unpleasant. I'm going to supplement it with a lot of milk and just let it it's the only way like when you could have just like angry orchards and you would have liked those like that's right up your alley they are so sweet that you you couldn't hate it you guys should do the opposite of a drinking or do a drinking game but like instead of alcohol or something do like a G Fuel drinking game. Like every hour you got to finish two shaker cups and just as it goes on, whoever has a heart attack first loses.

Let's do it that way. We could just do that with coffee. G Fuel is no joke, man. Like – OK. So I don't drink a lot of coffee or – I guess I drink some G Fuel, but whatever. I don't drink a lot of it. So people I drink some G-Wag, but whatever. I don't drink a lot of it. So people ask me, like, does it work? Is it effective?

Dude, yes, it works. It wakes you the fuck up. And if I take it after, like, 4 or 5, that's a 3 a.m. night for me. Like, you know? I tried, it's called Redline. No. It's like a pre-workout and you've been to the store, I'm sure, and you see

like, C4! Put this in fucking water and drink it and you're gonna be shaking on the way to the gym. This is something like that. But you can get it at a gas station and it's right next to the Red Bull. I don't remember if I've told this before. It's not the 5-hour energy drink. No, it's a bigger container than that.

Still not like a full beverage container, but it just said, like, energy like energy like i guess it's pre-workout energy i didn't read it so i got one of those early in the morning before work a couple years ago guzzled it down real real quick and then got there like threw it in the garbage and my boss at the time was like why are you drinking uh red line at 7 10 in the morning on like a wednesday i'm like because i didn't have a monster i just wanted to grab something real quick and he's like dude you're gonna be like sweating and shaking it a bit like you're not about to work out you're just at work like you're gonna be in a rough spot i'm like i'm fine i drink so much soda like caffeine tolerance is through the roof like 15 20 minutes later i was, sitting in my office just kind of, like, foot tapping, like, oh, right, oh, okay.

I had to just walk around for a while because that shit is like a drug. Those things have, like, two servings in it, too. Drinking something like that, just to drink at a gas station, that is a true energy drink. It gives you so much energy, you're uncomfortable. You're only supposed to drink half of one of those too, before you look up. Just killing them. If you buy a Red Bull,

you don't take a couple drinks, weigh it, and go, I'm good for now. I just thought it was like any other beverage that has seven ounces in it. You just guzzle it down and you're fine. The nice thing about G Fuel is I have like 10 lifetime supply of it. So it's free. Really free.

We have like a basket devoted to G Fuel. We must have like, I don't know, 25, 30 pounds of G Fuel powder. That's so ridiculous. It's a lot. Yeah. powder. That's so ridiculous. It's a lot. Yeah. Yeah. That's shed tomorrow. We have a basket like this big, but at the top of it, it's overflowing like the Beverly Hills wagon when they leave for Tennessee or whatever.

The Beverly Hills Hillbillies is an old reference. Never mind, y'all children. Fuck you. I actually just got sponsored by G Fuel. You got sponsored by G Fuel? Yeah, so I just got that and a couple other things, but super exciting. I just got a bunch of stuff. I don't know if you guys can see.

You can't see that. Sounds like a chess board. Oh, yeah. Oh, so you can see it. I can't see it online. I can see half a chess board. Yeah. I got like, they sent me three of these, and then sent me some like hats and shirts and stuff. Super excited because that's like the first time that anybody has said, hey, PJ, good job out there. If you want to do well with G Fuel, I'll tell you, they are not shy about hooking you up with what you need, right?

So like you go into PAX, right? If you want a backpack full of those stick packs or something, tell them and they will be grateful that you're handing out free samples at PAX. If you're like, hey, I'm going to do this thing. I wish I had a hat. Tell them, and they will happily give you it. They're not – anyway, if you want a Pimp G Fuel, don't be shy about asking for props or supplies or something. They're happy to do it.

Cool. Thank you. I appreciate it. It's good advice. I will get all the backpacks. So Woody, who do you have now as your cup prediction? If you know anything about how it's been going. Well, I'm going to take the Penguins

because I'm pretty sure they're up two games, right? They are. Yeah, so that's where the smart money goes at this point. You think they're going to finish it in four? In five? No. that's where the smart money goes at this point you think they're gonna finish it in in four in five uh no i well five or six i'll say five or six okay i really hope that the sharks get swept because chis will be so heartbroken chis oh my goodness you know i was trying to console him the other night like it's. The series isn't over.

He's like, I'm just so invested with this teal team whose name escapes me. I could hear the whales. First Bernie Sanders and now the San Jose Sharks. I don't want the Penguins. People are all rooting for the Sharks because they've never won it. But I do not want any team to win that. I don't want any team to win their first cup until st louis gets one that gets their first like we've already been we've already been lapped by so many teams that it's just like no just no not you too

not you too so no i'm hoping st louis has never won a cup no that's great like because they've been good for a long time st louis is in their 50 year history 49 year history 50s next year they've missed the playoffs eight times yeah meanwhile the hurricanes probably in like their 15 year history also missed eight times ish and uh they have a cup the oilers have missed the playoffs more since 2004. Or since 2005 than the Blues have since 1967. And how many cups do they have? They must have like 10 cups. The Oilers don't have any recently in the modern era.

Right. So I really don't even consider cups as meaningful if they're before like 1990 at this point. Just because if you go back and watch the game even like gretzky like he couldn't do what he was doing then now but he'd still be a sydney crosby level guy but he's he wouldn't be way better than crosby i don't think like players wouldn't give him special treatment for like not hitting him as hard and not starting shit like you watch gretzky everybody had so much respect for him they, you know, no, I'm not gonna cheap shot Gretzky, that's fucking Wayne Gretzky. And Sidney

Crosby, it's like, this guy's really good, I'm gonna see if I can jab him in the ribs while nobody's looking. Just fucking with people. Like, it's just a different era. But, sorry Sharks fans, I don't want you to win, it hurts too much. I like that, I like how you describe that, that makes a lot of sense. Dude, there are some players, like,

this might be too early for Murka. Do you remember Barnaby? Ah. Barnaby, he played for Pittsburgh. Sure, Kyle does. Rough guy. He was one of the agitators. He was a good fighter, but he was an especially good provoker. And, um, there was a guy, Avery, I think, for the Rangers,

who did the same sort of thing. Yeah, and he would just find... Dude, they had to... Dude, during the playoffs, they made a new rule for him. Because he was... If I remember it right... The knee rule. What is it?

Isn't it the knee-to-knee rule? No, I'm thinking... If I remember right, he literally stood in the goalie and waved his stick in front of his face. Oh. And there was no rule against it. And they're like,

shit, quick, we need a rule against this. Because this guy's fucking doing this. And there was no rule against it, and they're like shit quick. We need a rule against this No one's ever done this before where they just fuck with goalies Like by the next game. They're like well. I guess we need a rule against that you know and they made one Miss Hilaire yeah, I the agitators. I hate them when they play against me but i find them entertaining oh i we're gonna lose our agitator this year that we've had for a couple years steve ott who is just the best at fucking with people and getting under their skin before he was on the blues he was on the uh the buffalo sabers and the dallas stars when he's on the dallas stars there's still a clip of him as the agitator,

like going down, like in the, you know, how they line up for the face-off. On the side, there are two guys. On the other side, there are two guys. He was on this side, you know, lining up, and they were kind of pushing each other back and forth, you know, like fucking with each other. You want to go? I'll go if you go, like just talking shit. And they lean in for the face-off, and he goes over,

and he licks all the way up the guy's face mask, and he just goes, and then goes back to looking, and the guy's just like. And he just totally got in that dude's head because it's like, what? This has never happened before. Dealing with a crazy person. I don't know what's going on.

That guy licked me. He licked me! I love shit like that. I want them to eventually mic up those kind of players so you can hear, like that Blackhawks player got in trouble for saying faggot in the penalty box against the Blues this series because the camera was on him and it just showed him perfectly mouthing like like perfectly screaming and

that's such a non-issue in the nhl i guarantee they're saying worse shit than that talking about like people's dead parents like anything to get them to fight you i like i forget what it was there was a um a ph a Philadelphia player against somebody else, and he called him a frog. And I didn't know this, and I don't know what he knew, but he knew it was something that French Canadians hated to be called. And I think he might have called him a fucking frog. And the two hated each other.

They hated each other all the time. No, apparently it's like an insult you say to French Canadians. Because they eat frogs. Oh, yeah. I think you're just saying that. How much do you want to bet? Five dollars. Deal.

All right. Brizboy. Why do they call... Called Vaklav Proposal. I think it's French people in general, though, and that's why they do it to the French-Canadian, I'm guessing. I guess they called... Yeah, Brisbois and Prospal called him a frog

during a 4-4 tie in Ottawa, September 27th, an insult that French- French Canadian players have endured for decades. The guy literally had no idea that it was... Apparently, he got in trouble. He got reprimanded by the league. I don't know if he was suspended or what. It was this big deal.

He's like, that guy! That guy does everything he can to get under my skin. He's always getting me. He's like, I apologize, that guy does everything he can to get under my skin. He's always getting me. He's like, I apologize to French Canadians around the world, but not him. He is excluded from my apology. You know, like that guy, his feelings aren't hurt. You know, he's just using this as yet another tool to piss me off. And obviously it was an effective one.

But yeah. This is from the year 2000. one but yeah he this is from the year 2000 and there is a whole article on canoe.ca hockey ottawa archive about how what is a moderator there heard about this what's that i hadn't even heard about this i didn't know that frog was something you know you want someone to talk hockey with i'm your boy i! Yeah, this is the subsection of hockey that I want to devote myself to. It's non-slurs that some guy...

No, it even says here... It's not just a hockey thing. Where is it? I'm from... Prospa, who is from the Czech Republic, said he wasn't aware saying frog could be taken as hateful. I admit I said these things in heat of game.

I apologize to team. This is what he said. I apologize to team. But I remember, if I have this right, I think I do, he specifically said, but not to this guy. This guy and I have a history. He's just doing this in an effort to get me in trouble.

A part of hockey that you should watch Kyle, that you would actually enjoy. That's not the actual game is look up post game interviews of Russian players and East European players. Vladimir Tarasenko, our all-star goal scorer could not string together a coherent sentence. His first year in St. Louis to where they're like, and then they're pushing him as the face of the franchise. Cause he's the first superstar St. Louis to where they're like, and then

they're pushing him as the face of the franchise because he's the first superstar we've had. So they're like, Vladimir, how you liking St. Louis so far? How different is it in Russia? He's like, it is much nice here in United States. Very

and like this post season has gotten so much better but they asked him like they're like teresano do you regret uh not turning it on until so late in the third at the last game seems like he must be really agitated about that and he's like what is this word regret and they're like you wish you could go back and change something. He's like, why would I be talking now about this? It has already happened.

It's like, just stop. Maybe that's just culture. Don't look back. He's like, why would we talk about that now? It's over. That actually does sound fun. I always like the post-whatever interviews.

The post-UFC interviews are sometimes really good because they're often beaten up and shit. They're out there all beaten and bloody. They just got their asses kicked sometimes. He's out there. You know, he can go how I want it. Too clearly.

When he was on top of me, what did he hit me with? Was that a chair? Oh, it was just his fists. His fists. Oh, God, it felt like a chair. Something definitely went inside me. I thought it was part of the chair, but, you know,

they're just all beaten up. I like that part. Yeah. I like insensitive questions from reporters right after big losses in UFC because I I don't care enough about the sport to be invested and be like, that's disrespectful. But just to see a guy with his eyes swollen shut and they're being like, on a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your performance? He's like, well, if I could open my mouth and tell you,

if it wasn't a water shot, I'd say I wish I could go back and do it again. You really needed this money for your daughter's college fund. How do you feel now that you lost? Not great. Looks like little Susie's going to public school. Dude, Hope and Colin. Well, Colin's done school. Today he took his last test.

And Hope's done tomorrow. So summer is about to begin. Oh, and then the real work begins around the Woodworth household. Hope's summer job this year is shadowing me. There's one guy who keeps writing that, like, Hope's my favorite character in this show. I hope I see more of her. Oh, yeah.

We got a new camera woman. She's going to – when we strap that paramotor to a go-kart you know she's gonna be filming it so that's gonna be hilarious is she getting paid for this or is it an internship so to speak um is she being paid in in housing and food is what i think she should be paid in she what what it is is she really wants to go to the speech and debate camp this summer and i'm like get a job you know like i and we came up with this sort of compromise where her job will be working for me which i think might be pretty cool i like i'm just imagining like like that the 15 year old or 16 year old me like that summer like

oh god if i only could save up enough money to go to speech and debate camp i think i was like i'd really like a faster car. Could you give me a Corvette this time? Let's get something fast. She just completely couldn't care less. Yeah, I would not have. I still don't understand that. She's a good kid.

Obviously, I mean, it's not like she's like, I want to learn to do crystal meth. She's like, she wants to go to speech and debate camp. Like, clearly, that's a great and admirable thingirable thing but it's just like come on it's fun time yeah i i would not want to go to a speech camp that sounds that sounds oh my god that sounds so boring like it's that's good that it's something she likes i'm sure it's healthy and it's aminia better than drugs Well, it depends on the drug. Yeah, if it's HGH or whatever, apparently that's hunky-dory.

Just talk to your local pediatrician and he'll hook you up. You want a sucker too, Kyle? But, yeah. I would never go to a speech camp unless my parents made me. I never went to any camps.

I don't think I've ever went to any kind of summer camp where you did a thing. Yeah, that's part of where I was coming from. Hope is like, I really want to go to speech and debate camp. I want you to support me in this and that. And it's like, girl, I went to I think one camp in my life, and it was

computer camp. And Hope has gone to three in a summer. Three camps in one summer yeah and it's like too many camps you need too many camp dart uh you know like give it back a bit more of a survivalist than we are at this point they're yeah they're not can't like you know she's staying in like dorm rooms and stuff that's the lamest part if i'm being honest is that it's not an actual camp. Like, when I think of computer camp, I still imagine you in the woods with cabins.

That's true. It really was. Yeah, as a matter of fact, we were in computer camp, but all the other campers were in, like, regular camp. You're shitting me. Were they canoeing while you were learning to code? Like, what the fuck? Yes, but it's what I wanted. Like, I was very excited about it.

I came in thinking I was going to be, like, the smartest coder. I was not. But, yeah, you know, I was really excited. Like, we were, like, learning fractals and, like, making stars and shit. Oh, my God. Graphical stuff. And, you know, at the time I wasn't using any loops or, like, really logic flow in my coding. And, like, it just went from top to bottom and did its thing.

And they taught me that. I was really excited about it. I like computers. Yeah. But all the other kids. And I'll say this. They totally underrated my swimming, and it pissed me off. This is before I was surfing or anything.

But I was a damn competent swimmer. Damn fine. Yeah. I mean, I was a drown competent swimmer and uh damn fine yeah i mean i was i was a drown proof kid like that's a challenge and you're one heavy rug away from proving for me drown proof is a term they use for when kids can get themselves back to the to shore or whatever and uh you know so like if i fall off the dock, it's not an issue, right? You only have to prove them wrong once. Anyway, they didn't let me go out in the deep part of the lake. Titanic was undrownable.

I would have been fine. My worst camp experience, I've talked about one when I was older, I think, before, but when I was really young, I got duped so many times by my parents into, like, they'd give me, like, a pamphlet of, like, you're going to X, Y, and Z camp for a week, and, like, it'd show people, like, on blobs and zip line and, you know, like, street hockey, and it's like, oh, my God, this is going to be so dope.

Like, who's going? Steve's going. Ted's going to be there. Like, Tim, this is going to be great. And then you get there, and it is so religious there like Tim, this is going to be great and then you get there and it is so religious that you can't do anything what we would do, I shit you not

we'd wake up every morning the first time I guess I was like nine, nine or ten and all my friends were there so we were all excited none of us had gone, it was like nine to thirteen, nine to twelve the ages so we were the youngest that got to go that year. And we'd show up, wake up at 7 o'clock in the morning, go to eat breakfast until 8.

Then we had a chapel from 8 until 10, 30, or 11. Oh, God. Where you just had to listen to a bunch of pseudo-musicians use the same two chords and sing about god in different ways lord i lift your name on high come on literally that's one and yeah that's their favorite 11 to like three you get some free time but they were nazis about it where it was like oh you want to go on the blob do you oh well you're gonna have to get a chaperone down to the blob and it just so happens all the chaperones are talking about god and if you want to grab on the blob, do you? Oh, well, you're going to have to get a chaperone down to the blob. And it just so happens all the chaperones are talking about God. And if you want to grab one of them, you're going to have to talk about God with them while you're jumping on the blob.

And it's going to ruin all the fun. Then at 3 o'clock. Then at 3 o'clock. Lord, I love to sing your praises. I know that whole song. I remember it. But 5 p.m. that night or whatever time dinner was, you have dinner until like 5456,

you go back into that chapel room, and they had another two-and-a-half or three-hour sing-song, believe-in-God-or-go-to-hell party. What this was called, was it called Super Wow? Super Wow? No. Yeah, I went to a thing called Super Wow I was lured into somehow. They made me work to go. I had to help thing called Super Wow I was lured into somehow. They made me work to go.

I had to help them make barbecue chicken for like three weekends. Slathering the chicken breasts with this vinegar mix. Computer camp kicks your camp's ass. It's nothing but water. Remember I had five verses at camp. They were like, it's nothing but super soaker fights,

wrestling, and what was the other thing they said? Oh, and playing at the beach and that they said we're going to be doing? Oh, and playing at the beach and a water park. We were doing science. All day, you're in the biggest church you've ever seen in your life. 20,000 of us singing that song and watching this man and woman put on these bullshit religious skits. Oh, God, skits. You had skits, too?

They're faced with decisions like they don't know if they should have premarital sex or not. And then they like stop, break the fourth wall, and face the crowd. Susie doesn't know what to do. Mark says he wants to pound her pussy, but God doesn't like that. That's why she gives up the butt. It's the Christian way. That's how she gives up the butt. It's the Christian way. I'm so glad you had that same experience, Kyle.

Or a similar experience. Because it is so... To be nine years old and to be cringing at a 43-year-old man and his wife talking about it. Are we talking about my channels? To watch that. That was good. To watch that, it's... To watch that

at that age and understand how uncomfortable it is is a profound level of self-awareness that can only be found in the most awkward of situations. I think I was 13. I was the only one with a super soaker. We never had a super soaker battle. Even though I brought mine from home.

We did watch a lot of wrestling, but I didn't like that anyway. I was really just there for the water park, and that was just one afternoon. Like, sandwiched between churches. Like, morning church and afternoon church and water park in the middle? What kind of shit is that? Oh, kids! Hey! Get out of the big

wave pool! We gotta learn about Christ! Oh no, there's no time to dry up all the way so just sit down and kind of be wet for three hours it doesn't matter because you're nine and you have to do what we say like a stitch of chlorine permanent permeate the air while i teach you about isaiah yeah all the girls blonde hair is like turning green and nasty by the end of the week i went to um i went to for my freshman year in high school i went to gorman which is like a catholic christian high school murka when you went to like uh i went to a religious school yeah

so it was a private religious school and we had like a class where they made us do the whole bible story thing or whatever slept through every class of course but gosh dang i have never met so many bad kids in my life like that was those, yeah, it was terrible. Awesome parties, lots of cocaine, but, you know, we were 13. That's the thing about private schools, that, like, all the parents who send their kids to private schools have this weird delusion. Because a lot of the parents who send their kids to private schools

are parents who went to public schools, and then they did well enough that they're like all right we're gonna send our kid here give him a leg up he's gonna be the best kid it's always to be helpful and they always think you know it's shit you know shit happens at public school it doesn't happen here no no it's the same shit except everybody has more money to spend and so there's no like like lull and where it's like everybody's just into weed it's like the accelerating like fucking see-do of danger of different drugs at such a faster rate like weed's not enough now we gotta start boozing now we gotta

let's see if we can get some ecstasy oh some molly that's even more pure let's check out some cocaine and it's just like that's what happens because all you need to have is one really rich friend and that's seventh grade this is ridiculous yep seventh grade exactly yeah i had just i guess or i was three years in i had been a man grown for many years at that point so we nearly sent hope to a Quaker school. Quaker school? She wears a bonnet and speaks with spoken language. Time out. Time out. You initially sent Hope to a Quaker school?

Nearly. Whose idea was this initially? Who was the first person to go, I like bonnets? One of the people's wildest. Hope has never just gone to the default school, right? Like her whole time, she went to year-round school like through most of her childhood. And that sent her to like, I get magnet and charter and all that shit mixed up. But, you know, it was always sending her to some school that you attend by choice.

And when she was going into high school, again, it was like, well, the local one's okay, but we had heard there was too much pot there. And some girls that she didn't like from middle school were going to be there. Almost enough, I guess. When we were choosing schools, she ended up going to Research Triangle Park High, which is a tech focus, a robotics team and stuff. But we looked at a couple other, like Charter, Magn robotics team and stuff but we looked at like a couple other like charter magnet whatever and one of them was a quaker school it was like it was something friend school and uh they have these like kids that are tour guides and they are perfect children right they're like good looking they're studious they like just the right amount of respect for adults slash like

independent pride Like like you see these kids and you're like, holy fuck like I was this is what I want mine to turn into This is like the perfect child automaton droids And you're like so this school turns out these like Like, this is the model that would be fantastic. And I just have that one. Oh, boy, on the left. It was a girl, and she was black.

Yeah. You have, like, a switch where you're, like, hitting them in the back of the legs, like, testing them. He's got one of those, like, people calipers. He's, like, pinching his arm right here, looking at the measuring back of the legs, testing them. He's got one of those people calipers. He's pinching his arm right here, looking at the measurement. Yes, yes, very good. There were a lot of things in your head to study phrenology. Like, ah, a little bit of a lump in the back shows a malformed prefrontal cortex, of course.

There were no grades at the school. Dr. Quack. There was no schedule, really, at the school. There were no lockers, so the kids just left their shit all over the hallways. And there's no... Way to prepare for real life. And there was no theft, either.

There were just iPads sitting in the hallways and stuff. I don't know. We applied for it, and she was on the waiting list. And somewhere... She probably would have been picked off the waiting list because she was like first or second but somewhere along there we got worried that all the other kids had gone through one first through eighth together and she would be an outsider till the day she graduated we're like I

don't know about that it'd be nice to put her to school where everyone's the way they pick those people that you were seeing the cream of the crop like those are hand-picked yeah hope does it now at her school you know the bet i have a story where i uh the person who usually did that like the ambassador to the school or whatever she does that yeah goody two shoes kid like hope who does very well in school uh they picked me to replace him one day because they asked me which one i'm doing this because uh i won't say because michael isn't here today to do it you know i was like fine whatever like i'll do it uh so

you basically get a kid for the whole day where he comes in and stays a whole day at the school and looks around so it's it's almost like you get to skip class a little bit because you can make stuff up and be like well we're gonna leave about 10 minutes early because we got to make sure we get there and make sure this new kid, you know, he's the priority. So I got a kid from Kenya and he spoke English all right, showed up. He was adopted by parents. I don't fully get it. Missionaries apparently just go to Kenya and then they hold tryouts

and then they pick the kid who wins and adopt him and bring him back to the U.S. and I guess this kid won the competition like the 06 winner and he came in and they're like Taylor you need to show him around and take him to all your classes today and I was like all right and so I didn't have any experience with it so he was asking me questions that I didn't have answers to like and uh what what is it the time to do if uh if I do not bring a lunch? And it's like, it's fine, man. You can just go down there, and they'll give you some lunch. I'm sure they're not going to make you pay. It's no big deal.

And he's like, oh, I understand. And it's like, okay, I don't know if you do, but we're going to keep going. Was he deaf? Lunch rolls around, and I get in line. He's behind me as far as i know just standing behind me i go through and get all my stuff get my food and i have like the two vouchers or whatever for me and him because i got my lunch for you that day for being a good samaritan and i turn around to find him and this kid's fucking gone and i went to private school and so i could pick out a black

face back there if need be like i should have been able to be like bo gotcha come over here jog it up you're good at that like and really nice guy but i looked back and he was fucking gone and so i backtracked went through the whole line this weave couldn't find this kid and i looked around the entire lunch hour first being like god God damn it. Like, I told him to stay with me. By the end of, like, the 45 minutes, I haven't eaten. I can't find this kid.

I checked all the bathrooms. I was just looking around the school desperately, and I didn't want to go up to the whatever lady runs this shit and be like, hey, you know how three, almost four hours ago you told me to watch this guy? I botched it. My bad. I'm so sorry. I didn't want to do that. So I looked around, skipped my next class, just walking around trying to find this Kenyan kid who nobody had brought back in yet.

And I found him at the tennis courts. No tennis ball. No tennis racket. He was just sitting on the tennis courts, and he told me it was because it was a really nice day and so i learned to appreciate the little things you know yeah but it was like dude like you almost fucked me here like that's the main concern for losing you and you're just sitting out here on the tennis courts like he didn't he didn't even look over and have a look of like, oh, you found me.

It was just kind of like, oh, he's here as well. Now we're both on the tennis courts. He didn't know he was lost. Yeah, he didn't know he was lost. He was just enjoying it. But I never got asked back to do that. Well, you did a great job. Win-win.

He did end up going to the school. So I guess I was pretty good. I guess he just thought you end up going to the school, so I guess I was pretty good, you know? I guess he just thought you could walk out to the tennis courts whenever. So, take a break. Did you guys have any walkouts in your high school? Like, did the kids ever riot or anything? No. One day, I had a walkout, kind of.

Not really. It snowed here in Vegas, which is amazing. And by snow, I mean tiny pieces of ice fell and then melted on the ground as soon as they hit the ground. It was amazing. I called my dad. I was like, hey, dad, everybody's leaving because everybody did go outside during these classes. And we were all like, what? There's snow. No way. Like everybody left their classes outside. And the teachers didn't want it to happen. But there were too many of us. So we did. And I called my dad and I was like yo it's it's a snow day everybody's leaving everybody's going home I don't know how I was like 13 everybody's going home nobody's here the teachers are cool with it my dad came by and picked me up and by the time he came like there was no more snow everybody was back inside except for me I went home slept the rest of the day and that was my walkout personally just got to skip school basically yeah it's amazing yeah terrific we had this japanese exchange student named yushi or yoshi

or something like that and um she was a senior ish i don't know because she went to the first three years in japan and they weren't gonna let her walk you know i guess she didn't have this is walking for graduation where they hand you your diploma and she didn't have this is walking for graduation with a hand you diploma and she didn't have all the credits and stuff that you're supposed to do but she wanted the experience of graduating from high school so she's like yeah just let me walk I want to put on the gown I want to you know be like a real American high school student now in their last year when she took all the senior courses and everything so that was kind of her her peer group and when the school decided they weren't gonna let her walk all the students courses and everything so that was kind of her her peer group and when the school decided they weren't going to let her walk all the students did a walkout you know they just like

everyone knew like you know noon we're all gonna walk out and between this period that period everyone's walking out and so everyone knows about the walkout and everyone is like are we walking out like is this for real is this a thing that we're going to do? And I'm like sitting in class and I'm on like the second floor. And one of the main entrance exits is below me out the window. And I just see people pouring out like hundreds of kids just like flowing out of this door. And there's tenor courts across the street filling up and all my whole class is like well i guess there's a walkout like like it was almost like oh shit we're supposed to be outside you know like you know my bad here i am sitting in class

not really following you know what i'm supposed to be doing the accord mentality well it almost seemed like i was obeying the rules like you know what i'm not apparently i'm not supposed to be doing. Yeah, the horde mentality. Well, it almost seemed like I was obeying the rules. Like, you know what? I'm not, apparently I'm not supposed to be in class. All the kids are outside. Guidelines. Yeah. So anyway, I walk out, and everyone starts chanting, like, let Yoshi

walk, let Yoshi walk. So I chanted, too. I mean, I'm nothing if not obedient. So, uh, the school started, like, threatening stuff. Like, you know, if not obedient. So the school started like threatening stuff. Like, you know, if you don't come in now, you're getting suspended. If you don't come in now, you guys are getting expelled. And even me, and I'm dumber than most at this point in my life,

I'm like, eh, I just don't think they're going to expel a thousand kids. I think this whole thing would fall apart without these thousand kids yeah there's like it's a school of like 1300 kids and there there were over a thousand people outside you know and and like um the news vans start like racing in to cover it and stuff the police come to do like crowd control and uh you know we're all peaceful and chanting and stuff and i'm just standing around i never met yoshi like this isn't really something that's near and dear to my heart in this walkout and uh i think they actually like capitulated like right there on the spot in order to get kids to go back to class they're like all

right we'll let her walk so um like a week later i remember one guy was like my brother's's friend or my brother's friend's girlfriend's friend or something. I was like vaguely connected a few ways through. And there was this person. You can only miss 18 days of school. This is a number that I knew well because it's like, you know how grownups get like 14 vacation days or 10 vacation days and they take them all? That's what I did with my sick days. I was like, all right, you can miss 18 days. Nine excused, nine unexcused. And it's them all. That's what I did with my sick days. I was like, all right, you can miss 18 days. Nine excused, nine unexcused.

And it's my obligation. They just go to waste if you don't take them, right? So anyway, she did not have it. Like PTO. Yeah, it's paid time off. Exactly. So that's how I consider my sick days. She didn't have it so well counted.

And she missed something like 23 and a half days of school and they weren't going to let her move on. So they tried to stage another walk out for her and it was the same sort of deal except instead of 100 kids pouring out the door, 5 did.

And there is just 5 kids and they start to chant and everything and everyone's looking outside but this time we're just laughing at their unsuccessful walkout. And, uh, it worked so well last time. Yeah. And they were all,

you can't, you can't strike gold twice that, or you can't tap that keg twice that quickly. You know, like it's like the Coney 2012 thing. Like even now, if somebody came back and was like, Hey,

Coney 2016, let's get it on, you know, the reckoning, let's get it under control. back and was like, hey, Kony 2016, let's get it under, you know, the reckoning. Let's get it under control. People would be like, no. No, that dude was jacking off in the street. I don't trust you. Yoshi was like a good student, a good kid.

She had good grades. She was a pretty girl. And, like, I don't know. People rallied around her. This was a metalhead, right? Leather jacket with the Bon Jovi fringes hanging off it and stuff. Missing like 20-some days of school. No mass appeal to that guy.

Yeah, it just wasn't. Nobody wanted to fuck that guy. No. And so nobody's walking out in solidarity for metalhead Richard who wears scary t-shirts to school. Exactly. And those big boots. Nobody ever would do a walkout for that guy in your class who wore a trench coat. Because there's one in all of your classes guaranteed who wore a trench coat around.

Or was there not? We definitely had a trench coat. Oh, yeah. It was for – no one liked that. You had a trench coat guy? We had two. Boom. See?

Yeah. Yeah. I think it's scary. I almost got into a fight with the trench coat kid. I've told this story before. You've never been into a fight with the trench coat kid. I've told this story before. You never get into a fight with a trench coat kid. I know how it would have gone. He comes back the next day.

We all know what happens. It's not good. Good point. You can hide weapons under there. Even if it's not a gun and it's just a bat. That could fuck you up. Most weapons provide a really significant advantage. Oh, yes. Yeah.

Hence the weapons. That's why people bring them. You need a machete. I like a machete, Kyle. Well, your walkout story was far better than my walkout story. I'm ashamed now. Yeah, you just skipped school. That's what happened.

Dude, I had, like, 47 missed days of school my senior year or something. It was pretty bad. It was good stuff. I had so many. But if you go to a private school, it's not like public school where they're like, well, if you miss more than 18 or more than 22, by state standards, you cannot graduate. Private school, it's like, hey, you got to come to school today, Taylor. And it's like, oh, is the tuition paid?

Are my grades all right? And I'm going to not. He said it's true to pick me up, the hot one preferably. Circling back. That's a full circle right there. That's beautiful. But, you know, I went to private school for only a few years. I was in public school like my senior year and junior and everything.

So, yeah, they were mad at me I could say that yeah so who's excited for cod for remastered I am right Kyle yeah definitely so I think that's gonna be fun one of my old cod for buddies Skype me the other day he's like so we get the team back together I was like yes all right and hold it no I don't think you know him. It's Tmuch. That's so... I played with him. Super excited. Okay, well, it's Tmuch. He Skyped me the other day, but I've got all those guys on Skype.

I've got Impulse and Socrates. I wonder if they still... I'll play with Socrates. He'll be like a 1.2 KD now. He's all rusty. I'm going negative. It's like, yeah, we're going to put the old team back together. We're like some high school football team in their 40s who can't throw a catch anymore. Yeah, you've been smoking for 12 years.

I've been playing a lot of Doom lately, though. I got Doom for Xbox One, and the campaign is really fun for that. There's a ton of different weapons and tons and tons of different bad guys. It's really brutal and gory and lots of nasty stuff and you know you chainsaw people in half and explosion heads in that right

smash yeah you once you weaken an enemy enough he starts kind of flashing and that's your cue to like move in and do a physical attack on him and depending and depending on the enemy and like what angle you're attacking him from you'll do all these unique things where like sometimes he just gets their skull and just crushes it and sometimes he'll just like punch their face in and uh all kinds of stuff it's it's a lot of fun i like it a lot do you think if they came out with half-life 3 it'd be a huge commercial success i'm not the one to ask about that well i've never played the first two yeah yeah like i couldn't care I couldn't care less about Half-Life 3. I know it's a big deal on the internet.

Everybody's like, oh. What is it about? Like, what kind of game is it? Alien Space Invaders. No interest. You play a scientist working on Earth, like, in a big facility of some sort. And, shit, I'm going to have this story wrong. But, like, for some reason, aliens come and they kill most of your coworkers. The coworkers that are left are not always necessarily on your side, and you need to get out of this place.

And that's essentially Half-Life. And then you get above ground, and shit, I'm messing it up. Who are you? Are you like a general, or are you just a dude? No, you're like a lab worker scientist a doctor you have a phd but um you have a suit that you find early in the game that makes you resistant you know makes you kind of a minor league superhero you can't fly but you're strong and uh resistant to being hit sounds kind of like dead space a little bit, except instead of a doctor, it's an engineer. Doom is very much like Dead Space. I mean, very, very much like Dead Space,

both in the layout and the missions you do and all that stuff. Although at one point you get to go to hell, which was interesting. You actually go to hell. Did you beat it yet? I got to be close. I'm real close to the end, I would say. Did you pick up the BFG-9000 and use it in the room with every bad character you meet along the way?

Um, that thing's only got four shots in it. Um, I'm out of ammo. It did take long. I think the room comes with tons of more ammo. Yeah, if I remember right, you'll get to a place where, like, they... Is this old Doom or new Doom? I thought it was the same. I thought it was

a remake. Well, they've definitely made some alterations. Nah, I don't know. I just i just know by like videos i've seen and uh they seem to act like it's just like all the monsters are in the same place it's the same map it's it's like remastered i don't know though i could be off there's a lot of jumping and grabbing ledges was that a thing before because there's so much of it that and there's a lot of like um you've got to you've got to stand there and look around and be like all right so i'm going to jump from this ledge to that ledge and i got to time it just right so that the train doesn't hit me and then i got to immediately turn around spin jump and climb up on the catwalk and then that's going to lift me to the next level and i got to jump off and do it all over again there's a lot of that i'm not sure

actually it's been so long. This is literally, I played these things in the 90s. I don't think in the 90s they had the ability to do what's going on here. It's like Dead Space with lots of puzzles and not... Lots of puzzles and jumping around on ledges and trying to

get... Obviously there's the getting the key cards to go through the blue card, the green card, the yellow card, whatever it's it's really fucking hard to get those cards you've got to hop and jump and when you're in hell you're jumping on these floating like islands of rock um and it's really precarious and you've got like a double jump feature where you know you you know how double jump works yeah sure um i don't have to look at it again it's been a lot of fun it's it's a lot of fun i i'm glad I got on the console, too, because it just feels like it's more fun on the console. I don't like shooters on the PC.

Maybe I would if I got better at it, but RTS is definitely best on the mouse. I've got to get more games in. I've been playing so much Call of Duty, man. I need to play more. I want to play Overwatch. That looks fun. Nah, I've seen a lot of videos of it. I know it's very popular, but... Dude, Wings of Redemption should play more. I want to play Overwatch. That looks fun. I've seen a lot of videos of it. I know it's very popular, but...

Wings of Redemption should play Overwatch. Should he? I don't know if he'd like that either. I don't know. To me, it's a first-person shooter and is the rage right now. Did you watch his last video? The vlog? Yeah, I thought it was terrible. What was he even talking about? He didn't get to anything good.

The title was great. It was like even talking about? He didn't get to anything good. The title was great. It was like Gangster Grandma, Drew MIA, and something else that sounded interesting. I watched the whole thing, and it's just him talking, but not really saying anything. I wish he had planned it a bit more. I don't mean to rip him to shreds or anything,

but I remember I'm watching it, and within 10 seconds, he's like, Ah, hmm. Yeah, I don't know really what I'm going to talk about. Well, it's July. It's not um the second thing that's when that happens yeah wings is the best and uh i'm with wings like during mw3 and he didn't link me and that's he's the best

that's funny that's awesome yeah i watched that and and it sounded like he had some good ideas though um i've always been an advocate for the gangster grandma show or the wings family show or whatever you want to call it you know king of cocks whatever um so the idea of getting her on camera more and asking her questions i think that was my idea for you know like two years ago and he did like two episodes of it and then stopped it's a great idea as a daily vlogger i guess five days a week can you call yourself a daily vlogger yeah that's like a work week that's close enough okay um it's easy to underestimate how much effort it takes you know like it's funny i i've been thinking like hey if you could be any kind of youtuber what would you be you know and yeah maybe i know it's profitable which might be where you were headed right because their ad rates are so it's also great like like you the whole thing is about being you're pretty

and you're good to do makeup and hey if you age then all of a sudden you can advertise advertise a whole new line of products it's great it's a great job you're probably hot if you're doing it anyway you're probably like getting getting dick, if that's what you're into. It is. And making tons of money slinging L'Oreal. You're getting paid coming, going, and standing because L'Oreal wants to run a pre-roll ad on your video, and they want you to use their lipstick in the video when you're, you know. Makeup Girl wouldn't be my pick.

That would definitely be my pick. So, like, you know, there's Gamer, there's Daily Vlogger, there's Blockbuster Maker. I think the best example is Epic Rap Battles. There's Shooting Can Channel. There's a lot of cool stuff. But Makeup Girl, I think I'm as better as I am compared to where i used to be i'm not wired for

like tons of negative criticism and i feel like no one's set up for judgment more than makeup girl ah nah see see it's women on these videos it's not true it's women coming to these videos techniques they're coming to your video because it says what do they call it? Contouring. Contouring, thank you. I know because Melissa watches a lot of these makeup girls. It's like contouring with light skin tones.

Contouring with pale skin. Every girl with pale skin is like, I want to learn how to contour correctly and not look like a clown. So they're watching a girl who looks like them use the product that they're pimping to achieve what they want it's perfect you get paid for the pre-roll you get paid for the product placement and everybody's happy because you because they wanted to see every one of those girls will like pull out just a pirate chest full of like 30 grand worth of makeup and that like

I'll talk to Melissa and I'll be like you have so much makeup like you've got more and she'll be like well I don't have as much as you know Suzy Q eyeliner over here or whatever their names are and it's like they sell it as like

a hobby too which it is a hobby. A lot of women and girls just like doing makeup for fun. I know Melissa does quite a bit. It's like magic cards, but even more expensive. Because once you have a magic card, if you only need one, you got it. Done. Done. File that away. In ten years, this is still going to be a piece of cardboard. You know, makeup, it's like you have to reload every couple days.

And when you're going to reload, you're seeing, well, you know, I'm not going to not purchase this sunset cinnamon blush. Like, my God. And so you just end up augmenting it, and you have so much shit, and there's so many powders and sparkles all over the place. You're walking out of the house with things on your face and you're wondering how did this get here out there but i'm sure does your girlfriend watch that stuff uh no i've um i've had girlfriends that did and i've had girlfriends that were i've run the the gambit i guess i had a girlfriend who

like who had her purse stolen one time and uh and she's like ah my makeup was in there i was like well you know just go get some more go get that makeup at your house she's like that was all my makeup that's all the makeup i own i was like wow all right then well fuck you better go shopping you know i guess if it's all gone but then i definitely had girlfriends who had a war chest like you know you know, just multiple, you know, like a tackle box that, like, extends to her. It's like those Russian dolls. They just more and more and more, like, just powders and creams and schmears. There, with our router sitting on top of it and the modem, is a black box about this yay big.

If you were to turn it, it'd be like that big you open it and it's like uh a mary poppins bag of of makeup where it's just you reach in you're pulling out umbrellas and it's so much blush and eyeliner that you couldn't imagine it's got to be like two grand of powders and sparkles in that box. So I just read through some of the comments. You're taking your pre-20-something... When these girls hit their 40s, it comes in a rolling cart.

You wheel it over to the mirror and begin your routine. So Jackie does. It's like a mechanics trolley. Where you push that big metal box over and the rinse is out. In fairness, I think she only uses the top shelf. It's like a mechanics like a trolley Fairness I think she only uses the top shelf if I were a girl I would get one of those airbrush things so that I could airbrush it on those you Have you been airbrushed a few times? It's really gentle and sweet. Yeah, I like being airbrushed

I just read through the comments of some of those makeup girls sections and the worst comment I seen now remind you, I do gaming videos. Most of my comments are like, you clickbait in. Dude, you better stab yourself through the chest, and then cut your balls off, and delete your channel. That's most of my comments, 90%. The worst comment I've just seen on this Makeup Girls channel is, you look good, but your hair was a bit messy. I would be a Makeup Girl. That's what I would do.

That's amazing. And my girlfriend actually is a cosmetologist. She does hair and makeup and tons of stuff for people. Legitimately, I cannot walk through my office, which this is my room. My office is right there. She has suitcases that come out, like you're talking about, with so much stuff in them. She has like three of them. I don't even know why. I don't even know. I understand you're doing about with so much stuff in them she has like three of

them i don't even know why i don't even know i understand you're doing people's hair but god dang dude it's like 150 pounds worth of stuff over there i'm not lying i'll go grab it i was asking evolutionary gathering you know it is so much stuff it's like yeah maybe maybe it'll be good i don't know i think think about how to make that video. I feel like Makeup Girl might be great for your first 100 videos, but when you get 3,000 videos deep, how are you not just making the same video again? There's got to be new techniques all the time.

New color. The penguin eye. They're constantly changing and innovating things to do to your lips or your eyes or your face. I mean, look at every men's magazine, right? They've been telling you how to get six-pack abs since the 80s But you they're still flying off the shelves like it's just a different way to get the six-pack abs You are they flying off the shelves the guys here. They stop doing it. Yeah sure flying When's the last time you bought a magazine not at an airport? Oh, that's that see that little caveat

Ruined it. You know the magazine business isn't living off of layovers and fucking Kansas City Yeah, it's not Yeah, maybe so but I I think that they're clearly successful They're always doing and like they're always come up with a new product. Oh, we get that four-hour mark there Let's see here turn this back on back on. Yeah. I think we're all back, right?

Yeah, more or less. Why does my screen look so dark? Did I break it? It's because we went four hours. It takes some weird thing it does. Skype is amazing. I love Skype. No problems ever with it that's been my experience too um what was game of thrones you want to talk about game of thrones you know i do

next season i bet um man i i i think the cj are you great just real quick i'm all caught up and even if i wasn't I'm not a big spoiler carer about her so that last episode was pretty good it wasn't as good as the two before it right I feel like it's more of a set up episode trying to even remember it

so at the very end Danny did her thing way too much Sam yes I disagree about the Sam I feel like the Sam stuff was great And Danny did her thing. Way too much Sam. Yes. I disagree about the Sam. I feel like the Sam stuff was great. It was nice to see what Horn Hill looked like. Because my girlfriend and I were watching it.

She was like, I can't believe his daddy would force him to give up his inheritance and everything. And I was like, that's Horn Hill. She's like, oh, well, that makes sense. I was like,'s horn hill she's like oh well that makes sense i was like yeah right like you could not i think we all see what happened there like and if we read we all read the book so we know that like he tried for a long time to make a man out of sam and just couldn't make it happen so finally he's a coward yeah he was pissed that he showed back up so fat, which I would be too. It's like, how have you kept that weight off? Like, it didn't make... He was the first guy to eat a White Walker.

That would have been a good joke. Like, instead of being, you know, Sam asked for the bread. He's like, what, you're not fat enough. Instead, it should have been like, you know, she's like, he killed a White Walker in a thing. You ate him. You ate him. You ate him too. That would have been hilarious.

That would have been great. Because it does look bad that he's that pudgy and everything. Like, if he came back and he was, like, 50 pounds lighter and had put a little muscle mass on, which you would think would happen with his experiences, and then he was like, I killed a white walker and a thin, and this is my girlfriend. Even though he's not this great swordsman,

he's hiking his butt off. He's walked up north. He's been on a lot of adventures. And they've been short on food. A lot of berries and stuff. That poor lady he's trekking with. Oh, the baby.

I hope it's okay. And he's just back there. Oh, it's gonna be forward! No, that wasn't a handful of cashews! No! He was... That was cool, though. He steals the family sword, or takes it for his own. It's his

by rights. Because you can have your rights taken away by your father i guess right and he knew that that sword was better served maybe in the hands of someone who could swing it at a white walker so uh they'll probably melt that sword down and make a bunch of cool little weapons uh yeah i think they should make blow darts you know utilize that steel as much as possible don't be making these big daggers and swords let's make let's make some bullets out of that steel right like why is nobody

working on that or can nobody got guns yet what's going on with them well I understand they don't have guns but you know get a slingshot I you know sling crossbow bolt is what you're talking about mm-hmm or something like that or maybe you could somehow melt it and like add a fire and then spray it on them so what else happened in the episode the best part of the episode was that the girl has a name again right yeah that was beautiful oh my god i was so happy that she didn't go to another test and have a quarter staff battle with that weird little blonde girl. Like, Kyle was right.

The last episode, their last little bout, it was choreographed really well. It was a good fight scene. If that had been, like, the only or maybe one of 11 times we'd seen her fight with a quarterstaff, it would have been really dope. But because it was number 16 in as many episodes... That's what they do.

Yeah, and they're really. I'm not learning anything from these beatings. She'd be better at quarter-staffing at this point. She healed super quickly from getting cracked in the skull with that staff and everything. I was very impressed. She took away more of a beating than I could, that's for sure. I'd be like concussed and dead. But the problem is, now that the

men with no faces or names or whatever they're called, they seem to be on the hunt for her. They're without banners. Is that what they are? The faceless men is what I was searching for. Fuck, is it? You know, you guys are dicks. What are they called? It's the faceless

men. The faceless men is what I was looking for men so um uh but yeah they catch their people like remember when aria needed three guys killed yeah it was outstanding at it uh the idea that aria is gonna like evade the faceless man for all that time wouldn't be interesting if they killed her that's not what she's gonna kill that blonde chick that's what's coming they're gonna face off she's killing the blonde chick that's that's coming that's gonna happen we got to uncle benjen probably finally came back half white walker he's been he uncle benjen he was just just a boy when i saw you last comes back all like crazy face with that thing and and everything it's great to see him uh finally

getting in the mix um where the fuck has he been, right? We could have used you forever ago. Jon Snow's been up here fucking having to slaughter the half-hand and going through all kinds of crazy shit. His girlfriend's died. I think that ruined a fan theory. There was a fan theory that he was somebody important.

I forget what it was. He was leading some army somewhere. Well, good. I hate those fan theories. They don't know know anything some of them make sense yeah some of them make sense i think i i think the one of so i i definitely believe r plus l because j and i'm starting to lean toward the whole uh fan theory that that tyrian is a uh a baratheon not a baratheon i mentioned the fan theory in pkn that the grave digger guy was still alive the hound was the grave digger yeah no fuck you that's not a spoiler

it's a fan theory it's a fan theory based on book information that none of the show watchers or non-book readers have about a character it's a fan theory if we're being technical about it it's based on information from books if we're being like 100% technically that is a fan theory if we're being technical about it information from books if we're being like 100%

technically that is a fan theory still yeah so I've never read the books it's not the fans will decide I feel like I could just as easily say oh yeah Uncle Benjen comes back and he kills Bran and you'd be like

oh no spoiler spoiler it's a theory well that would be a bad theory though oh yeah, Uncle Benjen comes back and he kills Bran. And you'd be like, oh, spoiler, spoiler. It's a theory. Well, that would be a bad theory, though. Because why would he kill Bran? Who knows what these things... Some guy made a really well-thought-out video on how... Is her name Melisandre? Melisandre.

Melisandre was not the one that revived Jon Snow and turned out to be a bad fan theory. Some of them are right, some of them are wrong. So wait, what's the theory about the hound still being alive? I never read the books or anything. As you know, even in the show, they just left him for dead. Like you didn't actually see him die. Yeah.

And I think in the book somewhere they mentioned there's a guy working in a cemetery or something who fits the description. But it wasn't a perfect description. And it wasn't mentioned very long. It wasn't like they spelled it out in my memory. I don't know. Oh, so nothing crazy, just like he's still alive is basically it?

Yeah, the theory is he's alive and he's living a more peaceful life as a gravedigger or something close to that. Am I missing anything? Nope. Anyway, it's a fan theory. And Kyle and Mirka, I felt like, threw me under the bus. They're like, whoa, Woody, you did a spoiler.

I feel like it's a major spoiler. It's not. It's a fan theory. It's a fan theory based on something that's in the books. What's in the book? It's a fan theory. So here I am. I'm a fan.

Let me give you a for instance. I'm not spelled out in the book. It's not like a Stoneheart thing. I'm so convinced that's what happens. Yeah. You guys were convinced that Brainhead has superpowers. I'm a watcher. No, superpowers. Go ahead. Interpreting what we're reading.

If I'm a fan who just watches the show, that's a book thing that's probably going to be used in the show. Or potentially could be. Or if I'm just a fan who's never read the books, then that's definitely a spoiler, right? To tell me that... I don't know. Shit.

I hardly remember this part of the book. I know more about it from the YouTube videos than I do from the book. And I'm not sure you read this part of the read. I feel like it spoils it for me. I feel that it's spoiled for me, though. Even. Like, that's why I think it's a spoiler because I feel spoiled. But it's a fan theory.

Like, R plus L equals J is just as much as a bigger spoiler. Yeah, but I read and came to R plus L equals J on my own. I knew what the... I had heard those letters. But it's not about you. Like, you mentioned r plus l equals j a thousand times on this show right but i was never like whoa but those letters they don't mean anything no you totally spelled it out don't put like you did i i don't think so i don't think and if and if we did we always had like a spoiler

warning like you know we're talking about book stuff, or we're talking about movie stuff, or show stuff, or whatever. I don't know. I feel like we've been throwing around that as fact for ages. I think it is fact. I mean, it's so clear in the first book. I'm pretty sure it's true, too. Yeah. That was the thing about the Gravedigger.

You're right, it's not technically a spoiler. It's just, like, I'm so convinced that that's the way it's gonna pan out that I thought of it like a spoiler. Because I've already pretty much taken that as a given. That that's gonna happen. And you think he's gonna be in the trial by combat? Yeah, he is. You think he's gonna be in the trial by

combat? I would believe so. Cersei says she's... Is she going to be in one? Or are there... Like? Or they're... Like, did they already... Because they talked about her trial in combat in the last show. Well, yeah. Well, it was...

Yeah, Jaime was saying, like, what was it? Like, oh, aren't you nervous about the trial coming up? And she's like, it'll be by combat. And I have the mountain that she gave her little eyebrow thing where it's like, ah, you know, it can't go that well. We've been through this. Like, now that you're not as hateable something bad's gonna happen so the faith and the crown kind of did that thing at the end where they're like oh we're good buddies now and everything what is the queen's name right now cersei you think marjorie marjorie is she so she's super good at acting like

she's super good right and she's that's what she does. She puts on an act to be like, oh, I'm the best or I'm really nice or whatever. I didn't know at the end. Me and my girlfriend were talking about it. Is she really – because I don't know. I didn't read the books. Is she really like super – is she actually friends with the faith now or is she like putting on an act? She's very smart. And so she knew that her impressionable young husband was going to get probably won over by this charismatic Bernie Sanders-esque guy.

She recognized it in him. She recognized it in him and realized, if I come out here and I'm like, oh, thank God, you've got to save me from this fucking loon, he'd be like, oh, maybe she's the crazy one. Maybe I've been duped, and now I'm seeing the light. So she had to come at him and be like I see the error of my ways I'm so repentant thank god that you are forming this alliance with the church that we may once again be pure and so then he's like okay well this is working no reason she should still be here she learned her lesson like I'm gonna go speak on her behalf to the high sparrow you know at least that was all inferred because I was with PJ and like all right I was all inferred? Because I was with PJ. I was all inferred. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because I had the same... To me, I don't necessarily decide when I watch these things. I'm like, huh, I can't tell, just like PJ, if she's pretending because she's awesome at that. And I don't give Tommen much credit for being able to fake it, you know, so I feel like

he's just... Yeah, he's too young. He's a true believer yeah he's a true believer but she's acting in her brother's interests yeah totally ruined her getting naked at the end of the episode though really oh you knew that wasn't coming she got naked in tutors though that that exists that's a good show it's okay it well i guess i just got invested in uh honestly what kept me going towards the end is because basically the show follows king henry the eighth i believe and he had a fuck ton of wives did very poorly interpersonally and was just kind of a weirdo king and it's just the the tale

through like five seasons of him marrying women they either sleep with someone else or he gets tired of them and they only have daughters so he finds ways to kill them and and if you just go to king henry the eighth's wikipedia page give that a read it's really fucking interesting but uh yeah that show towards the end it's the same shit over and over oh i wonder what's going to happen to this wife uh what do you know oh oh the next one maybe this Nope. Oh, here comes a young blonde lady. Maybe she'll give him a... Oh, no. Turns out that didn't pan out. What Game of Thrones episode

are we on? Is it like six, maybe? Six. Are there ten or eleven? There's ten, right? There's usually ten. Yeah. So, four more. That's good. What do you think the last... Okay, never mind. that was going to be a

question that could only be answered with spoilers i didn't start watching game of thrones actually until because i'm like an avid pka watcher right so until you guys kept talking about it every episode it was driving me crazy i'm like i haven't watched any shows game of thrones is the only one i've watched i never watched like breaking bad or Walking Dead or whatever. But you guys talked about it so much that finally last year I was like, oh my god, dude. I need to sit down and just watch these. So that's what I did for about two weeks.

It's really good. It's super good. This is the first year that I'm actually watching it as it comes out. But it took forever because I watched that last summer. I was like, oh my god. There's no more episodes for a year? This is terrible. And now I'm mad at myself for watching them all at one time.

Yeah, I'll tell you what. I'm really excited to see Walder Frey back in the mix because I've been saying it since the Red Wedding that I need him to pay. And now we know, I think it's inferred that for sure this season, not only is Walder Frey going to pay the Iron Prize, but both of his sons are the one. Because he even singled him out. He's like, you remind him that it was your dagger in his daughter's belly.

And he's just like, you're the one who stabbed first, and you're the one that cut his throat. And like, oh, okay. And also, audience, audience, remember remember he's the one and you're like all right that's an asshole that okay all right we're watching all three of them are going down for sure this season something horrible is going to happen to them and i hope it's your guess woody because that's that's what i'm hoping happens i see what you typed in there i'm kind of thinking a similar similar thing yeah i want to be thrown under the bus for spoilers again.

Even though you just laid out that like, I don't, mine's different, but okay. I do think that mentioning that character's name is a spoiler, but, but that's why I didn't. Unsub Woody.

That's why I typed it in. But, but yeah, I think that we're going to get some vengeance on them. Finally. Fuck those fuckers. They're the worst of all. I hate them more than anyone in the show. And I never let go of that.

Hey, it's still fresh. That red wedding thing was traumatic. I still tie into the theory that Walter Frey almost can't lose at this point, right? He's going to die soon. What are you doing, Walt? He's had a great 97 years.

Right? 97 years. It's about his empire. It's about what he leaves behind. It wasn't all about him. That's the reason he had all those kids, and that's why he cares that the twins is rises in the world of westeros that they're laughing at they're laughing at us like spit on by the river folk for fucking

a long time but if life were measured like i could die right like you know there's this like the occupied wall street guys were talking about the one percenters. You could end his life right now and he still has a life that 99% of the people would trade for. Sure, you just ended his life, but that's not what we're going to do. We're going to take all of his children, we're going to bring his house to the ground, we're going to destroy it all, and then he's going to die painfully.

He'll lose everything that is Frey. All the Freys are going down because of what one of them did. They're going to be like that. What's the song that the Lannisters always fucking play? They played it at the Red Wedding. What's it called? Yeah, the Reigns of Castamere. They're going to be like those motherfuckers.

That's what's coming. Yeah. I want to see Walder Frey get like freaking out and like his own castle collapses on him as he's like crawling, refusing to leave his stupid throne something, that's what I want I want to be that Frey PJ, answer me this, what do you think? so this guy lives to like 97 years

or however old he is he's like the Bill Cosby of Game of Thrones right, like this guy has been living the high life his version of perfect life right, which is like a new 13 year old bride every year This guy has been living the high life. His version of perfect life, right? Which is like a new 13-year-old bride every year. That's kind of weird. Like a teacher almost.

And so he's got like a 16. He's got his new 13-year-old bride every year. He has 19 sons. He's lived in this castle. He has lived his version of an amazing life. And then they kill him and they kill all his kids. Did he live a horrible life? Did they ruin it because the end was bad?

I think that he lived a great life, but what he wants is not going to happen, if that makes sense. So, like, I'm kind of halfway on it. It's all for naught. It's all for naught. Yeah, that's true. But he still had a great life. Like, I would take that over, you know over 95% of the people in Game of Thrones.

I don't know. Robb Stark had a pretty great life there for a while. Robb Stark died at like 19. It was a good quick life. He had a good life. It was a good quick life. As a matter of fact, I bet 95% of of the people if you look at all the extras and shit would trade their lives for rob stark's what about that guy get his legs sawed off in that field

i'll take those 19 years sir exactly right like but most people are poor and they're hungry all the guys that marjorie pretends to be legs yeah so like fray lived an amazing life with a terrible ending and i hate that like the kids die, too. And, you know, that really ruins the whole thing. But I just – He's dead. He's not going to even know. He's going to be dead. He'll know. He'll have to watch.

Yeah, he'll be dead. He'll know. He'll be the last to die. But when he's dead, like, there's nothing. You know what I mean? So, like, at least – Well, you can only do so much to a person. Well, then he goes to the seven hells.

Oh, forgot about that. That could happen, too least... Well, you can only do so much to a person. Well, then he goes to the seven hells. Oh, forgot about that. That could happen, too. You know, and they said it, they brought it front and center in the show, whenever all that happened, about how the gods didn't like that when you betray a guest inside your house or whatever. They really talked about that a lot, and I was

expecting some god to come down and make that shit right, at least within two seasons and here we are like years later that's where i was headed with the whole how how i think um like when have we seen magic really play a big role i feel like the the show is building towards that clearly to me it's saying the only thing that can say it was his magic and magic is slowly growing in power and focus throughout the whole series maybe and denarius or worse better um but in denarius wrote a dragon right which i guess she did the end of last season but now that she's like picking them up like horses and using them as

transportation devices and stuff like that's a thing that i've been waiting for since season two. So that's, that's really cool. But it's like, is it possible that brand becomes the next Lord Sauron who kills 40 white walkers with every swipe of his arm? Like that. He's going to be a different kind of, well, he could just as likely know what the,

the Sauron mace thing. So he won't be like that he's a mental power now what i'm trying to say is it's just as likely that he's a fuck up in the show whose only real contribution is allowing the white walkers to come past the wall which used to be built out of magic but because they're touching him bran goes south of the wall white walkers go south of the wall and that's like his major role in the show. It's what was always meant to be. He's luring them into a Southron trap. So George R.R. Martin hasn't really been delivering the big magic shows or the happy endings or any of that stuff thus far.

So we'll wait and see. I think we're just running out of characters. He can't keep going willy-nilly, killing people left and right, or there's not going to be anybody left to care about. That is true. I was going to say they introduced new ones, but I don't really feel like they have.

I continue to believe that Bran is integral to the story. He's not going to be some fall to the wayside, oh, it was all for nothing kind of character. I think his magic is overpowering and all-important just like... He's just as important to this thing as a Gandalf character is

to arrange everyone and use what power he has to give them the edge that they need. He's a combination of two independently powerful types of magic folk. You're a greenseer. Wow, you're really powerful. You can warg into things. You're really powerful.

And people. Oh, you're both of those things? That's crazy. And you can control people? It's totally possible. And I see how he's setting that up. But I also see that he's set up lots of things before and it goes nowhere. Yeah, but not as much of a setup.

I don't feel like anyone, they've spent many seasons. The Bran thing was season one. They start Bran on his story with the Three-Eyed Raven in season one, early in season one. They literally just fired him for season two. Bran didn't exist. Was it last year or the year before? That's because his storyline is,

it wasn't time for his storyline. He needed to spend like, it was going to be him in that cave holding on to that branch for a whole year. It just wasn't going to work. The storyline where he comes into play is after a year's worth of

shit happens to everyone else. They could have arranged the story. Really, they just didn't include Bran in the storylines. But why not? For spite? It's not budgetary. What I'm saying is we're calling him the most major character in the show, the Gandalf

of it, and I'm like, eh, you know, like, I don't believe that there'll be a Lord of the Rings where Gandalf misses one of them. There was. He was gone between the first and the second one. He was gone for a few hours there.

A few hours of footage. Which episode of Game of Thrones didn't have Gandalf? None of them have Gandalf. Did I say it wrong? Which episode of Lord of the Rings didn't have Gandalf? As soon as he's smote by the Balrog in the Mines of Moria.

He was not smote by the Balrog. What did he say? Something about he laid his ruin upon the mountainside. Smote his ruin upon the mountainside. I like how you didn't know what happened. So you think that he was smitten by the Balrog

at the end of the first one, where he's like, fly, you fools! And Frodo's like, no! Freaking out, and then they're all running out there and crying. So my point is he's in the first, second, and third one. He's in the first one up until there. The second one, he doesn't even pop in until they're already in Rohan. Yeah.

And then they're riding through the fangorn forest and they finally two hours of run time that's a long time yeah it's not even comparable what i'm saying that's what i think about brand yes it is he was gone for a whole season but i think that's that's a tv show thing not a narrative you can't you can't you can't let that change how you feel about him as part of the narrative because george rr martin didn't say not this season no he didn't let that change how you feel about him as part of the narrative because George R.R. Martin didn't say, not this season, no. He didn't say that. It's just how a TV show came together. He does appear to be a major character,

and it does look like they're setting him up for something big. But they didn't drop Tyrion off for a season. Like, Daenerys has never taken a season off. You know, him going through puberty and being a little kid might have had something to do with it. It's just different pacing. He did spend a year learning to be a tree man i feel like that's incredibly boring like they were well they didn't have to show the whole year right i mean he could have been like this storyline could have been introduced last year the last thing i want is four supplemental storyline stuff shoved in for different stories they're already fucking

struggling to get these stories moving every episode. I hear you. You're right. You're right. And they had to drop someone, and they dropped Bran. And I'm just saying, to me, that says a little hint that maybe Bran's not exactly Daenerys or Tyrion or any of the characters that weren't dropped. Cersei didn't get dropped for a year. I think it's a hint that he is integral.

He didn't get dropped for a year. I think it's a hint that he is integral. That, you know, it basically shows a whole year or a whole book, season rather, where there's no brand there. And everybody's trying to fix shit, but it's just spiraling out of control. Nothing is going well. Nothing's going right. Every plan has fallen flat. Nothing is going correctly.

And Brian is going to be the one to he's going to be the adhesive because i could argue against myself and be like white walkers are not that important because they barely get any screen time prior to this year well we're waiting on the winter you know it's still summer down there they can't they can't do the thing with that well what i was going to say is white walkers actually are important and screen time is not the only measure of that and i think that they're pretty clearly being set up for a big thing so we'll see i guess i'm just really cautious of what george rr martin does which is sets up a character as the center of the universe like ned or rob stark and then kills him but he sets up traditional uh hero archetypes you know the the good-looking strong white guy with the big sword. Ah, he's your

hero. He's the one who does right. Nope. But here's a crippled kid with mental powers. I can't see him killing Bran off and be like, ah, none of that meant anything. You know? All the other characters that he kills off just when you think things are going to go good or

you know, they're traditional. Oh, the sun will rise. The young wolf is rising to lead the armies of the north. Like, it's just what you thought would happen. And, you know, the guy pulling the sword from the stone is supposed to be your leader, not the crippled boy who, like, controls retarded men and, like, travels through time clasping onto a tree's roots. He's a weird kind of magical character.

Again, I don't think there's going to be any overpowering, destructive magic coming out of Bran. But I do think that he's going to have some sort of overpowering, like, no, and maybe the whole world changes to some regard. Because you see the night king over there just raising up all those people from the dead i'd like to see brand with a similar power but something different putting them all back down crumbling back into bones yeah that would be cool or um i would like it if i would like it to be really bitched out like the

night king and like made him like slap himself around or something like that. But yeah, I'm looking forward to seeing Bran do some cool stuff. This has been a great season. One of the better seasons. I see it's got like a 92% on Rotten Tomatoes. If that means anything. I mean, it's such a fan favorite. It's going to do well no matter what, I guess. But I'm digging this season a lot. I feel like last year and the year before, fans were

like, even I was, I don't know if this is what it used to be. I was upset that Sansa wasn't becoming a player. and this year she's becoming a player yeah i was uh i was mostly upset with the dorn stuff and the silly fight core choreography i didn't care for that i expected more from a show with such a high budget that we're all kind of paying for it one way or another to watch um i bought the books that counts and um so that that kind of frustrated me but i still think it's the best tv show on television as far as production value and effort and acting like actually good acting that that's in that show

and they continue to like surprise me with some of the stuff they do like that random jarring cock shot um to like on the on the edit the warts yeah like i don't think i really saw that thing i mean it was hanging out but i gotta it wasn't like i saw like are those The warts. Yeah. Like, I don't think there were any, I saw that thing. I saw it hanging out, but I got it. It wasn't like I saw like, are those really warts or not? Oh, I wasn't,

I don't think there were any warts. I was just looking at the guy's cock. Like it was, and it went on for like three solid seconds. I was out. Right. He thought he had warts on his cock. Yeah.

So we got a closeup of it. That was just a little odd. You know, I, I've never seen a closeup of a vagina. Like that hasn't happened once on the show. Like nobody's zooming in on any titties. Was there a close-up?

Yeah. It was just cock. It was definitely his leader. It was belly button to bottom of thigh, cock. And he's holding it, squeezing it. Is this a wart on my cock? And the guy's like, yeah. It was something about the last five years.

In my memory, it was a full body shot where the guy was standing in a room buck naked like i don't remember him i sit really close to the tv maybe maybe my perception of that it's different than reality but i feel like it was definitely a full body shot for sure but it was so focused on his wiener i could see why you'd be like yeah just cock just cock right there. I saw a lot of cock. I got similar tunnel focus on when Dr. Manhattan's Big Blue Dong was walking around. It was like, what the hell? It had like physics. So like every step. Jiggle physics.

Someone worked hard on that baby. It was like an elephant's trunk just kind of getting shifted and swaying around and stuff. It was like those Dead or Alive games when they played beach volleyball. It was like the Jiggle Physics, but with the wiener. Yeah, it absolutely was. I watched the extended version of that film. I'm sure. A lot of

extra dong. At least 30 seconds of extra dong. And it was a circumcised dong, which didn't make any sense, because like... Was it? Yeah. I didn't rewind. I kind of just... I'm going to go watch it right after this now. You've convinced me.

I got it on my phone. I like the... It's been a while. Yeah, you know, I can refresh myself, you know what I mean, every now and then. I thought that was a good movie. I liked how they handled superheroes and the way they fight in that movie. Yeah.

So I guess you want to call it a show there. Tell everyone to check out our sponsors, Dollar Shave Club and Movement Watch. It's down there in the description below. PJ, thank you very much for coming on the show. Thanks for coming on, dude. Nice chatting with you. Awesome, you guys. You guys, very, very much respect for all of you. Kyle, Woody,

Mirka, tons of love. Been watching you since forever ago, bro. So I'm very excited to be here. Since I've been like maybe 18 and I'm 24 now. So birthday this weekend. If you guys want to give me anything, I'd like maybe a big cake. Just put your address out there I'm sure good things will happen An honor you guys super duper fun and um yeah, I only had to slept for like three hours, so I hope I was alright

Yeah, where can everybody find you where can everybody find you you can find me at my house The address is now my youtube channel is O.V.E.R.T. F.L.O.W. Overt Flow. About to hit one hundred twenty thousand subscribers. Just hit one hundred K. My little silver play button is coming in. It's amazing.

Super excited about that. You guys really something that I'm excited about. I'm actually I want to tell you guys this before we go. I'm actually about to. So, you know, Infinite Warfare is coming out, right? I'm still tight with I'm actually, I want to tell you guys this before we go. I'm actually about to. So, you know, Infinite Warfare is coming out, right? I'm still tight with all the guys at GameStop, so I got it, right? But check that out.

Beautiful. Look how realistic and real this is. Here's the code for Call of Duty and everything. But I just put this together because every year I do this thing where I troll people on like Omega at GameStops, at the conventions where I pretend like I have the game. It's totally Advanced Warfare, like with some cover art on it, right? I pretend like I have it, and then I

swap it out in my hands, and I'll break the disc, but it will be a fake disc, and I'll break the disc at GameStop, or I'll break it on Omega, or just like at gaming conventions or whatever. People love that. The series last year got like 5 million views. Nice.

I'm about to start that again. That's awesome, dude. It's super exciting. Well, check him out, and thanks for coming on, man. We'll have to have you back again. Awesome. Love you, guys. 285.

285.