Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #289

Episode Date: July 7, 2016

This week on PKA, Josh aka JD 2020, makes a long time return and they talk about why Call of Duty wasn't ever fixed, the 2016 Rio Olympics and Taylor shares a school story.

And we're live, Pinkular Radio, episode 289. Kyle? Yeah, today's episode is being sponsored by the USA Network's Mr. Robot, as well as Tracker. So we'll talk more about each of those things later on in the show. Our guest, JD2020. Hello, again. How are you? I'm well, how are you? I'm good, I'm good.

It's been a few years since we've talked, right? It has been. It's been a few years since the've talked right? It has been. Okay, so yeah, you were about to come out with a mobile game I think last time we talked. No it wasn't. Or it was about to be released or something like that. I don't think it was mobile. What year was that? No, it was some sort of fantasy game. Oh, it was you're right. You're right. You're absolutely right. Oh, that was probably before Lichdom Battlemage, right? I think that was it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah It was right after I moved out of California I moved here to to to Atlanta and that was this first

game out of an indie studio here yeah that has been a little while then it's been a couple years yeah I honestly still thought you were the Call of Duty guy and I am way out of the loop. I want to be Taylor. I want to be so blissfully unaware of every piece of drama everywhere. He actually listens real world all the time.

You're not alone. A lot of people still are. A lot of people are still confused by that. I don't understand why. For people to know, Josh aka jd 2020 was uh the community manager for the triarch series the black ops etc for uh for a long time yep yeah that stopped in uh 2012 well end of 2011 was when uh was when that all stopped so it's been a while it It's been five years. Why did that wrap up? My run was really just done there. The company was going in a little bit of a different direction. And you've probably seen that now where

they don't really have community leaders anymore. They don't really have a community department. And honestly, the way community should have been growing and the way I wanted it to grow was even a more central and bigger business unit. I thought that it should move out of the studios and into the publisher, into Activision. The fact that the communities were split up and segregated between the different studio branches felt wrong to me. Aren't you glad you don't have that job now, though?

Wasn't that the shittiest job ever? Because hear me out here. Because you're supposed to be the guy with his ground to the ear. You're supposed to be the guy out there who's getting feedback from people like me. I'm supposed to be coming to you and saying, hey, man, there's this exploit where everybody's doing this thing, and it kind of ruins my games. And then you're supposed to be going to the dev team, presumably, or somebody

and be like, hey, we need a patch, pronto. And then it's supposed to actually happen. Like, that's what the people out there who are blowing your Twitter up were thinking. That's what a lot of people were thinking, but that's not what happened in practice. So you're sitting there, everyone thinks that that's what's up, and then the patches

aren't coming, so they're like well all i can imagine is that josh guy is a real motherfucker he's sitting on his hands over there just laughing at my tweets laughing at my tweets like i'm not crying my heart out over here and uh the most stressful jobs are the ones where you don't have full control right like if it's just your job to do a thing then that that – you sort of own your own destiny. When it's your job to influence someone to do a thing and it's a nightmare. So, JD, is that how it went? Did you say, hey, the community needs this fix.

People have an issue with this or people love that. Let's do more of it. And then what happens? It used to be that. Here's the thing. I think that the pain for a lot of the reasons why that became such a pain point for people to understand and keep up with is because it has

changed a lot. So it used to be at the beginning when I was kind of getting my start that was a lot of what it was. What was a lot of what it was? My ear to the ground, listening to the feedback, understanding where the pain points were, and then helping the dev team to prioritize those bug fixes and those patches and updates. But the role as a discipline really began to evolve more into a, you know, you look at Ubisoft.

They have roles for, they call their roles community developers. And it evolved into, you look at Riot Games and Blizzard as well. developers and it evolved into you look at Riot Games and Blizzard as well you know it evolved into your role became more specialized and so you started to develop programs and initiatives that would help the overall community health and the overall opportunity creating this opportunity for community to flourish and for community to to to you to spread and for brand to grow and for brand awareness to reach a critical mass. So an example of that would be at Riot Games after I left Treyarch. I built their cosplay program.

And so you'd think, OK, well, what exact value does that bring to the community? Well, so much of what League of Legends was and what Riot Games was all about were their live events, were their in-person events at PAX. Now it's all about their esport events. And cosplaying was this visceral way for fans and players to connect with the League of Legends brand in a way that they've never been able to do with any other brand, really. They could go up and have a conversation with their favorite champions, their favorite players, the favorite characters from their games. And that's this personification

of an IP that is really hard to get and hard to do. And so building out a program to understand how to make that experience the best it can be for League of Legends fans was a part of the community discipline and that has nothing to do with what patches or what weapons are overpowered and nothing to do with our

question so why the fuck wasn't cod patched again like I got lost in that big stream of what the fuck you're talking about cosplay I don't know what the fuck is this guy on about politics real quick though I want to know how how old were you when you started at treyarch as basically the public twitter beating bag like how old were you uh i was 20 years old back then oh 20 years old see i just discard you i didn't think about this back then but looking at you now i'm like okay this guy is a he's clearly a young guy still so that means he was even younger getting god people were so fucking mean to you on twitter and you couldn't well again with no control over it you're having to go to deal with people who are doing things that you

can't change so it's not like you can talk to a programmer and be like hey these noob tubes are out of control and they go fuck you and you go well i guess i'm breaking out the programming gloves it's going to be a late night like no you can't well so to go back to your question more specifically then yes that actually was a big part of the job especially at the beginning was was specifically going back to the team and saying this is what needs to happen you know i don't i don't care about your numbers and your statistics the perception a lot of times is everything and if this is the way that even if it's a vocal minority perception, if this is the way that perception is driving, then it's our job to make sure we're correcting that perception in whatever way, whatever means

we need to. Now, that's where you start to have this, the problem gets a lot more complex. So when you ask, why wasn't this patched? Or why wasn't't this fixed now you start to get into this really interesting nuance where a lot of times the players the the community can't really truly understand what the problem is or or a lot of times they won't even there's nowhere to have that conversation online where people would genuinely understand why the decision's the right decision to be made. I'll use hit detection. Here, I'll even help you with one. Why was the MP40 so goddamn powerful in the first Black Ops? Yeah, so the MP40 was a fun story. For the world at war, yeah.

I think it had the slowest fire rate of any gun in the game, short of a bolt action. The slowest fire rate even of the heavier assault rifles. And so, when you talk about overall damage per second, in order to, if you decrease something's fire rate, you have to increase its power, right? And if you're going to increase something's

power, you decrease its fire rate. You can tweak all sorts of numbers to affect damage per second, tweak accuracy. And so, with that gun, it was also a lot of kick to the gun. But here's the catch.. And so with that gun, it was also a lot of kick to the gun. But here's the catch. Particularly sophisticated players with that gun could have their

sensitivity set high enough, especially with the controller when you're talking about Xboxes, could have their sensitivity set high enough where they could counteract that kick to the point where their one, two, and even third shot, if it ever came to that, if people were using pain... Juggernaut, for example, you know, they could actually be really, really effective with that. But then again, when you look at the data, you look at the vast majority of players that

sometimes can be very deceiving. And, and, and so you also have to, the problem is compounded by this massive skill gap. And if your matchmaking system is working the right way, you're matching lower skilled players with lower skilled, higher skilled players with higher skilled. And I know I'm opening up this Pandora's box of things to bitch about when it comes to how accurate the matchmaking is. But the problems become really complex for the team to solve.

And that's where it comes back to me, where it's like, I can't just go out in the world, we can't design a game by committee. So I was never able to just go out on the forums or on Twitter and lay out all of these problems. And, you know, there's this common phrase, right, too many cooks in the kitchen. That's bad enough if you have a room full of 12 developers. That's probably too many cooks in the kitchen. But if you add in 200,000 voices on social media, it suddenly becomes this

almost impossible problem to work through with that many voices. That was an interesting answer on the MP40, though. Like, oh yeah, so the damage per minute, the accuracy, the other stats made it worse, and strong players could overcome it. Hit detection is the example I like to use the most, though, because

it embodies the lack of, a lot of times perspective people have It's just a human trait. It has nothing to do with gamers or cod fans. It's just people You know hit the Call of Duty after Call of Duty 1 came Call of Duty 2 and that's where they introduced this technology called Anti-lag and any dedicated PC gamers for Call of Duty will remember when we were configuring our dedicated servers We had to we had this new this new console command called anti-lag, and we were trying to figure out what that meant. Well, what it is, is it's the server, whoever the host is,

or in the case of when there's dedicated servers, it's the dedicated server, is it knows what everyone's ping is in the match, right? So let's say Kyle's ping is 50, and let's say Woody's ping is 100 milliseconds. What the server will do is when the two of you get into a gunfight, it will actually artificially delay Kyle's shots from registering by an extra 25 milliseconds, bringing him artificially to a ping of 75. Now, the server can't accelerate your shots any, Woody, so yours are still going to register at 100 milliseconds,

but at least now you're at a slightly closer playing field. Kyle doesn't have a 50 millisecond advantage over you. He only has a 25 millisecond advantage over you. But to him, it feels like his shots might be registering a little bit later because, well, they technically were. And now when you're talking about a 25 millisecond gap, that's really hard to perceive. But a lot of times what you'll have is you'll have people with 180 milliseconds playing against somebody with 40 milliseconds. And then that system tries to find a middle ground between those two latencies. And the guy with the lower ping will think that his shots are broken. But the reality is it's actually more fair for more amount of people and it's frustrating to have that conversation publicly and I couldn't have that when I was the guy because it's like well it's just never gonna be

a popular conversation to have because now you're gonna have people with really really strong internet connections or people who are really close geographically to the data center who are gonna be going why am I getting punished because other guys live out in the middle of nowhere or because they have bad internet because they bought their connection from Walmart. That's what they'll tell you, right? So the reality is in that context, the hit detection system, the anti-lag system is creating a better experience for more people. But for the ones that it's slightly deteriorating the experience for, they are so loud about it and makes it sound

like and seem like there's this broken system. But the truth is hit detection is working exactly as it was designed. Also, theater mode didn't help with that because theater mode is a local recording of your local game state. And so in theater mode when people were uploading their YouTube clips and you're seeing a bullet hit from around the corner or from five feet away, that's because the local client doesn't isn't taking into account what the server was delaying in terms of that that that shot from registering so it looks like a more exacerbated problem when you record it in local theater mode and put it online so and so again it even furthered like poor gasoline on the conspiracy theory that there was

some something broken with hit detection so did did the hate bother you? Tell the truth. There was times when it bothered me, yeah. I mean, you read about it now, you know, it's really big now. I had to go into protective custody for like a weekend when I got a death threat. Yeah, me and my girlfriend got threatened once when I was at the studio. It was right before I had to go to like some big game stop show and do a public thing um yeah these guys they called like my private phone that's not listed anywhere it was like an old flip phone that i would wear on my hip that only my family knew the number two for emergencies

and some someone called that and they read out my actual home address which was also protected and obscured because we don't want people knowing where i i live and um and this was after like weeks and weeks of these guys who were calling and harassing our receptionist and giving her death threats and rape threats because she wasn't telling them my phone number and how to reach me because she knows better than to give that information out but they were getting mad at her and then so finally these people found it out and they read out my home address to me and they were telling me they're waiting for me to come home they're gonna rape my girlfriend and kill me and all this horrible shit and um and so you know they took

that one really seriously because that seemed to be like really corroborated um and so we had to go and and go into you know protection for a couple days while they vetted the actual threat now the threat ended up being not as serious as we were all feared it to be which is great um but nevertheless like that shit was happening you know way back then and they found the guy yeah it was some uh it was some kid in uh i think it was like jersey some 16 year old kid and uh he was using his dad's uh credit card to try to paypal like gangs in the la area to intimidate me and shit. Really? That's a little serious. But the thing is

nothing came of it. He was really just getting scammed. No one's going to stick their neck out at some stupid kid. The funny thing, what he was pissed off about was, do you remember back then Nazi zombies was the big thing with leaderboards and everybody

wanted to get the highest score, so what people would do is, even people who weren't finding exploits, people would leave their consoles on for like a week at a time, and they would find little spots where the zombies couldn't get them, and when they had to go to sleep or get something to eat, they would all just walk away from their controllers and then they'd come back and pick up their high score run.

Yep, I've said that so many times. Is that bad? Fucking surprise when your Xbox crashes after being on for four days straight, right? And they blame it on us that, like, oh, you know, your game crashed and ruined our high score. To be fair, when you're on round 80, anything can

ruin your day, you know? Because then it's not just, I lost out on this game today, it's, goddammit, I haven't watched anything on this TV in a week and a half, and then it's not just i lost out on this game today it's god damn it i haven't watched anything on this tv in a week and a half and now it's fucking gone i am totally empathized with how fucking annoying that must be but to blame that on the game like your hardware is not meant to run that long it's that's just the reality and and then to blame it on me me and to be threatening these people and all this violence like a receptionist she's like this doll like there's no one could ever say a bad word about her and the shit she

had to go through like she'd play some of the voicemails they were leaving for me and for her on there and I'm just like I'm so sorry you have to you know you have to deal with this but so yes to answer your question that kind of shit did weigh on me and it did get really really really annoying but I also have to be completely honest and I'm not just

saying this because I don't even work for them anymore. Like I don't have to just say toe the party line, but it honestly was way more rewarding than not rewarding overall. Like there is still a lot more really like positive people who are really passionate and really fun and supportive. But, you know, a lot of times the vocal minority does take root. And a lot of times that's just really, really toxic. My wife burns this into my head. She's like, you say one negative thing, it takes 20 positives to overcome it. You know, and like. You remember the bad more.

I mean. And it's not just me and it's not just, you know, sensitive YouTubers or whatever. Like if I say a thing about Hope's outfit, Hope is my daughter. Then, you know, if I don't phrase that right, Jackie's like, now you dug a hole. Nicely done. then if I don't phrase that right Jackie's like now you dug a hole nicely done you gotta come up with 20 positive things to say before that's really over with and that's just

the way people are wired yep my dad did not implement the 20 nice things for every critique approach you know it wasn't like god you really fucked up English this semester, Taylor. Your hair looks great.

I like your shirt. Your glasses are okay. You look like you're losing a bit of weight. Blues are playing well. It doesn't have to do with you, but, you know, you didn't go through some list. That's funny. I'm sure Kyle's family did not either.

No, it was very sort of, I'm trying to, brow beating and loud, very loud. My dad, when he's disappointed or upset and angry, like has a very, he has a bit of a snarl on his face, like his lips curl back and he's just just so intensely angry sometimes and he screams and it's maybe been 15 or 20 years now since he screamed at me. But I can remember having a panic attack one time when I was like 18 and he screamed at me because it was so goddamn scary. So, yeah.

Following that, there was no, like, listing of my good qualities. It was like, you half-assed piece of shit. You got to do it right next time. Who you going to be? You got to do this the right way. And it was just hours of that, and then okay, I will! That's kind of how it went.

It was way better than the silence, because at least if you got yelled at, you knew like, okay, they're getting some frustration out of this too, so they're not gonna be as mad as they were before, after this battle. Oh, so you're doing a public service. At this point, you're like therapeutic for them.

Yes, yes. Very selfless. But if they were quiet about it, you know that's just building that resentment. So you almost wanted to instigate them into starting freaking out, you know? I never wanted that. I tried to tiptoe around that, tried to avoid that as much as possible.

You don't want to set things off. And if possible, you want to try to defuse things. I don't know what you're talking about. Different approach with Lamar. Yeah, you got to be a little more careful. So a fan... I was going to say a fan was kind enough to send me, and he's loaning it

to me just so there's no confusion. I think he is. That's what we discussed, was that I'm sending this thing back. But he sent me a 980 Ti classified graphics card for my new setup, because I've been waiting on the 1080 to come out, specifically the Asus Strix, and it seems like they're recalling those because they're overheating or something now, so I might be waiting a little bit to get the 1080. But he sent me the 980, so i knew i had to get started on my uh my computer build the parts had just been sitting there all week so i started the day before yesterday i got

like 80 percent of 90 of the stuff done the first day and i don't know i don't know three or four hours or something and then the second day maybe less i don't know all i know for sure is that putting it together wasn't much of a hassle. It got done and I was real happy with how everything looked and there's still a little tweak here and there to do. I'm going to add another fan and some LEDs. But me and Chiz spent about 10

hours getting this thing set up on the inside. We were working on that BIOS, working on the operating system and working out little bugs that we had between the frame rate issues with my overclocked monitor, and it was a nightmare. But everything's set up now. Everything works. I don't have it all put together the way it's going to go

because I haven't put the desk in the room over there yet. But I've been gaming with it a little bit, and even with the 980 Ti, which I'm acting like that's not a nice graphics card, with the 980 Ti in Witcher, it's so fucking beautiful. I'm maxing all the settings out, playing in 60 frames per second, or something like that.

That is such a pinnacle of perfection when it comes to a video game, that game. It's beautiful. It's unbelievable. All the hair effects and stuff, it's very immersive. I'm really digging it. I haven't played very much. For me, it was the level of depth.

For me, I got 12 hours into it, and I'm like, man, I've put a lot of time into this game, and I'm not even 5% of the way through. You know what I mean? That's the crazy amount of depth and content in that game. I couldn't find the time to finish that game, right? But it's a masterpiece on every level. Art, visuals, animation,

storytelling, gameplay, depth, just amazing. Well, I'm looking forward to getting more into it now. I got in there for maybe half an hour just to see what it looked like and tinker with the settings, and then I started overclocking stuff after that to try to get a few more frames per second.

I really love this setup. I'm glad I invested in it. I'm going to post a lot of pictures and stuff for this thing when I get everything in its place and the way it's supposed to be. What kind of case did you go with? Did you build this computer custom? I assembled this computer. It's an NZXT, what is it it the cool air 440 i think the

red one okay i don't know i don't want to see you posting about it on twitter i'm enjoying getting all the updates from kitty because the way she's taking those pictures and what she's putting in there like she'll she'll take a picture of you smiling with it like and it's like kyle's super excited about his new monitor and it just comes off as like you're a make-a-wish kid and she made your dream come true and that you're just so excited about it wow this is gonna be great for the next eight months i don't have to worry about replacing it i won't outlast this thing i really love this monitor it's the um it's the what is the asus yes the asus. It's the Asus Ultra Wide.

It's 3440x1440 100Hz monitor. I've never had a monitor like this before. It's incredible. It's like two monitors without the bezel in the middle. It's Ultra HD. All the super widescreen ones? Yeah, I love them.

I've seen them in the Microsoft store in the mall they look awesome it wasn't cheap I think this was like $1300 so it's by far the most expensive thing in the setup now do you have the curved one or just the straight one yeah it just came out

I'm really digging it I'm building a desk the desk is like 9 feet long and I'm putting it in a room over here and kind of just making that room over there my house. It's going to be like a dedicated gaming room. I'm going to set up the Vive and all that stuff in there. So that's going to be fun.

I think you tried Company of Heroes 2 on it yet. Yes. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I felt sorry for my squads in Company of Heroes before. I'm writing letters to their families now. This is intense. You send your eight guys in, and the machine guns open up, and they're just, like, blowing apart.

There's arms flying, and I'm just like, oh, God, somebody get the arm! Get the arm! I've got everything maxed out. I'm playing in ultra-wide, and, you know, it's running at, I don't know how many frames. It was kind of just, I think I had a frame rate issue where I don't know how many frames. It was kind of just... I think I had a frame rate issue where I couldn't unlock it, but it was stuck at 60 frames, maxed out on everything. But I'm sure it'll run at 100 when I get it to do it.

But it's beautiful. It's incredible. I've been playing Company of Heroes 2 on... So that's an RTS game that Kyle and I have been playing where top-down strategy on PC. And I've been playing on mute most of the time because I'll have Seinfeld or something going in the background, and so I never really got their little quips, they would say, during it. And then I unmuted it a couple days ago while I was playing,

and man, they've got a lot of really depressing things that those characters say. Because I had no problem sending my men to die until I had the volume on and you hear like, but general, we are losing all of our men. And it's like, we are dying here comrade. Please help. Please to be helping us. Like, just desperate.

We're burning, captain! No! And he'll literally scream like that as the tank explodes, but they've got, like, unique tank animations. So sometimes a tank gets hit, and the battery goes off, and the whole tank explodes. Sometimes it goes off. Sometimes a tank gets hit, and the fuel goes off,

and it explodes a different way. Well, sometimes it's just the fuel-air combination, I guess, so the top of the tank just erupts like a flare out the top of it so you know it's just cooking everything on the inside. And you'll hear it. It'll blow one of them out of the tank just erupts like a flare out the top of it so you know it's just cooking everything on the inside. It'll blow one of them out of the hatch and he'll tumble through the air ragdoll style and land on the ground all smoldering with the

flesh burn off. I like the Americans where their tank crews, it's like programmed in for them to start screaming when it's already far too late for you to save them. If you micro perfectly your tank away from their anti-tank, like, there's

no way. It only triggers this. You'll just hear, like, your grizzled tank vet be like, no, no, no! Just him dying. It's tough, man. When I was playing that game originally, I never zoomed all the way in. I never scrolled all the way in, because it's tough, man. When I was playing that game originally, I never zoomed all the way in.

I never scrolled all the way in because it's not useful for gameplay to do that. It's only nice if you want to see what I'm seeing. You know, see the crazy shit up close. But, man, with this new thing, I'm telling you, I feel sorry for them. They've got, like, birth defects and a list of their favorite authors.

You can see on there. They've got different color eyes these fuckers like they really have color eyes you can zoom in like on the church and you'll see this like the stained glass and you'll be like you you can make out which saint it is you can say oh yeah that's that's this or that's that it's it's very impressive that they spent that much time and to get the detail right considering it's an RTS game where most of the time you're zoomed way the fuck out so you can't even tell who anything is. Yeah.

Yeah, and hearing you talk about this whole PC thing, and you did offer it. You sent me a list of PC part picker, and it's only like 900 bucks, 900 some odd bucks, and apparently that's

a really nice one. I did no research into any of the components or the pieces. I trust you. You know? I did a lot of research. I like this.

I feel like a proud parent almost. Like, you know what? Our Kyle's taking an interest in something. And, you know, every day he's like pouring over parts, trying to make sure he's got just the right build that does everything he wants. And, you know, he's putting it together himself. We don't want that help, but, you know know he's putting it together himself and we want to help but you know he's doing it all and and in terms of offering support to kyle the kinds of questions that you might have legitimately asked two months ago are somewhat insulting now you know and you

know because he's just picked a lot up he's now he's a guy who's built a pc before what i've learned is that there are way more parts in a pc if you're building it than what i thought because you sent me the list and i was picturing it to be like you know you got the case and then you got the fixings and you got the battery and it turns out there's much more to it than that yeah um but but what I set up, like an RX 480 build for Taylor, that's a $250 card that really competes

well with the 970 cards. It's crazy impressive that it can do that. It just came out. I think it comes to $925 the setup I put together for you, and that'll max out any 1080p game. Of course you need peripherals to go along like mice keyboard and monitor well he's got his wireless like $14 mouse right there yeah yes bad boy the Razorback 7

from Best Buy as they were about to close and and the gentleman, as I was checking it out, he told me, you know, we're not supposed to be open this late. So, you know. So it's really... A limited edition. Let's see how that makes your mouse any less of a shit fest. That's right. Well, that mouse doesn't work.

Why do I need a nice mouse? Convince me on that, Kyle, because that's something I don't get. I don't feel like anything different than this is going to make me better at clicking around. So for me, maybe it's just that I'm used to this. I don't know. This feels like this reminds me of a rifle trigger or something like that.

Not that I've got the best one in the world or anything. I've got the same one Woody's got, but I lost a piece of it, so I don't use it anymore. I like this one because it's got all these weights inside of it, and it weighs a shit ton. And you can configure that, right? You can pull one or two of those out,

and it can be a little bit less heavy or heavier, right? That's right, yeah. And the weight of your mouse is... Why is that important? I don't know. And the weight of your mouse is... Why is that important? I like to have a good throw, as they call it in the community, when I'm gaming. I like to have...

I like to get my Uber Micro fully unleashed, and I feel I can do that with this mouse. I don't know. For me, honestly, it's got some more buttons that yours doesn't that I use sometimes, and it's got... It's super yours doesn't that I use sometimes. It's super adjustable the way it fits your hand. That's also a thing. All these plates slide around and stuff.

I'm not ripping on it. I used the Razor Naga because I play a lot of League of Legends. For me, it was the number pad near the thumb, the one through six, that I could put all my item slots into. If I had any actives that I was using in the game, I could quickly cast them with my thumb. I didn't have to lift my hand off the

QWE and R keys. Exactly. So by default, these are 1 through 12. Can you see what I'm showing? Yeah, you guys can. For me, it was Minecraft. I don't pretend to be great at Minecraft, but I played it a lot, and there's a hot bar across the bottom.

So as you're fighting people, you might have, like, a sword in one hand, a bow in the other, and put, I don't know, say, potions in the other seven slots. So you need to, in a hurry, be able to, like, go to hot bar number three, throw a potion at your feet, get back to your sword, and get back in the fight. And if that stuff's on the keyboard, well, like, you're already WASDing, you're coming off, etc. But with your thumb, here all the time, and I was only good at it at my best. I was never great. But I could, like, quickly just, you know, bounce over to four, bounce back to one, and, you know, do my

thing. And RTS is, I bet you can imagine an application for that in your games, too. Yeah, you could have three chronicles going into battle. Each of them has got a number, and as you're going in, you can quickly change, make your tanks do stuff independent of one another. It'll help your micro skills out a lot

with something like that. So I can basically not have to do the hotkeys I'm doing for my unit groups anymore. And I can just do it all with my mouse. You have it over there. It's going to be a big learning curve to get used to, because when I got the Nogat first, it was just weird. You're going to have to train and practice your way through it, but yeah, once you get efficient at it, you to be a big learning curve to get used to because when I got the Nog at first it was just weird so you're going to have to train and practice

your way through it but yeah once you get efficient at it you will be more effective at your best than you are now so I found 1 and 3 for example are kind of the top corners I could go those instantly so things that were especially critical to me I'd put in 1 and 3

and then 4 is the next one I learned because it was right under one. And then, you know, I just, but like, if you asked me to pick off like eight from the list. Six is the worst to get to. Six. Okay. Well, six is right under three.

For me, it was eight. It was eight. Yeah. Like I, because it's, I guess it'd probably be eight and five. Like the two middle ones were the slowest for me to learn. But anyway, yeah. But, you know, just even getting, like, even having, like, four, like, the corners that you can instantly learn is a lot better than having to futz around the keyboard to me.

Yep. Yeah, I want to be able to see what the game looks like as you're playing, Kyle, but I realize that asking you for a screenshot would not have helped. Yeah. He could make a video. You you for a screenshot would not have helped. He could make a video. You could play a video that he's doing. Yeah, and I could record a video. A little picture-in-picture of your hand next to the mouse.

I'm looking forward to getting it all set up. I've got my lumber for the desk and everything. I know where it's going to be. Everything's measured and cut. I'm waiting on them to finish planing all the wood, and then I'm going to start staining and securing the desk and everything. I know where it's going to be. Everything's measured and cut. I'm waiting on them to finish planing all the wood and then I'm going to start staining and securing the desk together. You're like building your office

like legit. Yeah. Yeah. I found some reclaimed lumber that's like 45 years old. They sawed it out of old telephone poles and it's been sitting in a building for like the last 10 years or something like that drying out.

So I'm going to plane all that down. It's two inches thick, eight inches wide, and 10 feet long. I'm going to plane all that down, make it look really nice. And I think I'm going to stain it really dark, almost black. And everything else is kind of a red and black theme. So I might do the trim in like a dark cherry or something like that. I don't know. I've been thinking about this for about two or three weeks now, and I'm getting to put it all together now, so it's fun.

Good. That's cool, man. Yeah. I'm having a good time. I'm looking forward. And it all started when we had, I guess, when we had Tucker on a while back, and he was talking about the Vive and how much fun the VR stuff was. And I was like, ah, well, now I have to buy one. So I'm was talking about the Vive and how much fun the VR stuff was and I was like, ah, well now I have to buy one. So, I got my

I'm going to order the Vive. I think I'll order the Vive tonight. I've been putting it off. Do it on stream. Do it. What, like now? Let's watch. Let's live. Yeah, stream the purchasing of the Vive. You want to like watch me as I like click? Go to Amazon and make it happen.

You know, the peak of it all will be if you give us a reference number. 3-2-9-8-7-6-5-4. That's a good hair binger. What is the word I'm looking for? Harbinger. I've read it too much. I like how Kyle gets into things.

You ramp up into hobbies very quickly. There's not much of a dabble period for you where it's like, oh, this computer thing's kind of interesting. It's like half an hour after Tucker leaves, you're like, ah, this $3,000 monitor is actually 10% better than the $1,900 monitor, and I'm getting it. Yeah, I've been whenever he said that and he talked about how uh how immersive it was and then i saw a few demos of some stuff and i saw a few of the games that i would like in particular i like i like the bow

and arrow game i like the uh the race car game um there's a few of them that i've seen that there was one that was like a horror uh like you're in a horror movie and he's like I saw it was a jay two cents video and he's like looking down at like hands that aren't his hands you know because he's just in this world and like flipping through files and stuff and I'm like shit this looks like I'm gonna go live in a movie this sounds this seems awesome and he also said something that really struck with me um stuck with me he said that the younger the person is when they try out the the vibe or vr in general i guess the less impressed they are with it he's like i gave it to my daughter she's like oh this is cool okay like shooting the bow and arrow but then he's like then i gave it to my father who's 74 or something like that and it's like and he had a heart attack right then and there.

The older you are... He'll tell you from the right side of his mouth that he really enjoyed it. Wow. That's great. I like that one. He kind of wears a chalkboard. Legends of the Fall. That's a great movie.

That's a thing that i keep thinking about too is like i want i want to show this thing to my dad because my dad's uh 63 or 64 or something like that i don't know i want to show this thing to my dad because i think because all the all the while growing up i'd try to get my dad play video games with me and he never would because he'd be'd be like, look at that! What is that? Just a bunch of little shapes bumping around in there. Like, it really needs to be visual for him to appreciate it. It has to look good.

Because I remember when I showed him Call of Duty 4 single player, the AC-130 scene, he was like, oh, oh. That looks like those YouTube videos that we've watched of, you know, AC-130s actually killing people. And he was impressed by that, and he thought that was cool. So I think this is the next step up from something like that.

Was he impressed when you told him that you were the captain of said vehicle? Oh, my God. That was so funny. Yeah, there was one time when I was, back when Halo 3 came out, and I was just trying to explain to my dad how this video game worked. And I was like, yeah, you see, I'm a lieutenant colonel here. All I was trying to explain was that there's a ranking system, and I can remember the next time the family was together at a dinner or something like that,

he was like, looks at my mom, he's like, Kyle's a lieutenant colonel. And I'm just so embarrassed. I'm like, that's not what i meant i wasn't bragging that i have some rank and i'm like ordering people around or anything i'm not in a fantasy world it he made it he made it out like i was playing a fantasy role-playing game and i was bragging that i was the brigadier general of utopia or some bullshit. So he was busting your chops. He wasn't proud that you were a lieutenant colonel. Of course he was busting my chops. Yes.

Seemed pretty proud when you did the impression, I was just saying. That's how my father mocks people. He's got a dry sense of humor. He's just like, my mom's just like, oh? I'm just like, oh. I remember how embarrassing that was. Yeah, I hated that. So because you don't have a degree, did you have to go in at a different level than a lot of the other players?

Were you able to jump right, you know, did you have to start out as an NCO or what happened? start out as NCO or what happened? Yeah, my dad stopped trying to understand video games after they introduced the second joystick. After N64, it was just... For a lot of people, they were just like, patting your head,

rubbing your belly, can't do it, and they signed off. It's so fucking frustrating to watch people, I'd say 95 percent of people over the age of 50 they have to do that thing where they look way too quickly and then they readjust then they won't look way too quick and they're up in the sky and they're down at the ground it's infuriating the worst what happens is they'll like walk into a wall and get completely lost they're looking at the ceiling they're trying to adjust themselves things aren't making much sense and it's like can't you see you're looking at the ceiling. They're trying to adjust themselves. Things aren't making much sense. And it's like, can't you see you're

looking at the floor? But no. They can't. They just can't get their settings right. Everything is a wall because they're looking straight down. It's a nightmare. It can be very confusing. I like watching people play when I give them a controller for the first time or whatever. And it's, like you said,

they can't use both sticks simultaneously. So they'll walk for a while but they'll just kind of be walking in a half straight line. Sort of strafing a little at the same time. And then they'll bump into the wall but now they're gliding along the side of the wall and I'm like,

well, at least you're going in a straight line now. I don't correct them but then all of a sudden they're in the corner of the wall. There's a table there and what are you going to do now? I remember trying to get my grandma to understand some shooting game, maybe it was PS2

when PS2 first came out and she just could not get it and I was younger, so I was like, no, no, just do this, just do it. Why can't you just do it? It's harder. And I kind of opened my eyes being like,lor i didn't grow up with run and water oh that's true that is true i feel like the world needs to start other like there should be an expectation of at least getting this kind of thing you know like it goes for YouTube or video games or whatever. You think the bar is set too low?

Yes, yes. I feel like now... Expectations worldwide. Okay, here's the thing. So, in the news, right, sometimes they'll be like, oh, you know, this murderer played Call of Duty? Well, that figures. He's been playing this murder simulator for so long, of course you put it into practice.

And it's like, no. Not only is that wrong, that is so stupid, you are not allowed to be that stupid anymore. That time has passed. If you said that in 2004, there wouldn't be a lot of cod, I don't even know. But if you said that in 2007 or something, then it's just dumb.

You're still saying that you shouldn't be in a position where other people listen to you. That's a Clinton stance, I believe. You know it could be. I don't even know. It is. Yeah, it all comes down to life context. And no matter what,

no matter what media, because every form of media has come under that fire. It was rap lyrics in the 90s. It was Marilyn Manson before that. I almost said Marilyn Monroe. It was, you know the 90s, it was Marilyn Manson before that, I almost said Marilyn Monroe. It was, you know, and now it's video games. And even before that, you know, it was, I'm sure it was books. It was, there's lots and lots of violence in some, you know, classical writing. So the reality is, it's just context. It's just, you know, no matter what that form of media is,

it represents a tiny percentage of your life's context. And what was, you know, no matter what that form of media is, it represents a tiny percentage of your life's context. And what was happening prenatally to, you know, in your surroundings, in your environment has more of an impact than a video game you're playing growing up with an abusive parent or with a, you know, an alcoholic in your family or getting incessantly bullied through school or, you know, all of these things have heartbreak, having someone cheat on you and ruin your life. I mean, these things have way more effect... People giving you shit over Twitter.

...than certainly harassment, bullying, wherever that comes from, certainly has way more of an impact than you playing a video game for a few hours of your day. Even if you just look at it in terms of raw percentages, it's a fraction of 1 hours of your day. Even if you just look at it in terms of raw percentages, it's a fraction of 1% of your life's context is this form of entertainment.

And sure, it has some influence. There's no doubt that I tear up at some movies, not really because I'm a man, but no doubt that there are movies and music, there's songs that'll put me into a different mood, a video game will elicit an emotion. So no doubt, it has an emotional impact on people. But when you talk about it causing you being even in a substantial even

a significant cause uh to you acting out in a violent manner is just absurd i mean who plays more who plays more video games than anybody right now esport players and do you see any for a pro pro esport players running around you know shooting those guys don't look like they can fight yeah you know there's all kinds of esport players actually i know i'm just being a dick because i don't watch esports but yeah i mean like the whole thing you're saying totally agree like if you actually want to look at statistics on gun violence like they've been going gun violence has gone down in every way since, like, the 80s. And when have video games been around? Like, we'll say, like, Doom was the first one that they could say.

Because I think in the 90s that was the big one. Pong really influenced a lot of people negatively. What? Yeah, Pong really influenced a lot of people negatively. That ball going back and forth. It's very confrontational. People used to smack each other with ping pong paddles and parking space arguments. It was terrible.

No, that was because of Pong. Back on you. Josh, do you watch Game of Thrones? Yes. Did you read the books at all? Or do you have any book knowledge? Perfect. Did you watch the season finale recently?

I'm completely caught up. I'm really, really happy with it. So I guess for the audience, we're about to talk about Game of Thrones a little bit. Yes, be warned. Do not ban me on Twitter. Do not unfollow me if I spoil something. No, you won't. So you saw the episode.

Who's Jon Snow's mother? Leanna. Who's Jon Snow's father uh not ned obviously did i say it um yeah i think we could say it it's ray guard why are we testing for jd 2020 the reason i'm asking him this is because most of the people who are in his didn't't get it? Didn't get it. The people who aren't book people and don't have any book knowledge and stick just to the show, they didn't catch any of that.

They're sitting there scratching their heads, curious about what that scene even meant. To be fair, I think that in some ways, they want that. I think that the architects of HBO and the show wanted... You don't want to inundate people with too many reveals. I think that they were okay with the reveal being

that that was Jon Snow. And they very directly cut in that last episode between him as the baby, and then they cut right to the eyes of him as an adult. So I think that they really wanted to close that logical gap. And I think the Rhaegar reveal, they might still want to have come later in season seven because I do believe that it's going to be Jon Snow, more spoilers, and I'm sorry if you don't want to hear my theory,

Tyrion I think is another bastard who probably comes from dragon blood, and of course you have Daenerys. So I think that they want these reveals to come in packages. Here's my question, will all three of them simultaneously ride dragons? Yeah, you know, I'm really fascinated about this because... Who's the third? I'll cum in my pants if they do. Like, right there. I'll just, that'll be the greatest moment ever. That's what I want so badly. They all seem to be really fair leaders, but you have to imagine that at some point they're going to have to clash. There's going to have to be a dragon on dragon battle, right? And so I'm trying to figure out which one of the two or all three

are going to have that falling out. I'm thinking that Drogon, the big one, is if they do have little dragon drama, then it's going to be the two. Are you talking about between Tyrion, the Khaleesi, and Jon, right? Them controlling their respective dragons, yeah.

I mean, I would think that just with the way I know the show goes, that there's going to have to be some drama that unfolds where they aren't completely cooperative. Because if they were, think about that, right? This is not your happy ending show. So if the three of them just formed an alliance and ruled happily ever after in a fair and just world, I don't think that there's going to be

a lot left to tell in this story, right? So I feel like there's going to have to be some conflict between them at some point. Yeah, the dragons themselves, like, no one is talking about what a horrible dragon mother the Khaleesi is. She rides in

on her favorite child after spending tons of time with just him and then doesn't even let the other kids out when she's back home. She leaves them in the dungeon. They have to break out of their own volition and then she's just kind of like, what are you waiting for? Fall in line!

Slaves! What the really hardcore dragon lore people would explain is that you can only create a soul bond between one one dragon and one dragon can only bond with one human being like truly bond so the one that she rides is the one she picked and the other two she won't be able to have that kind of control and bond with they might not be hostile and aggressive towards her just like the other two weren't hostile and aggressive towards Tyrion,

but he hasn't really fully bonded with one of those two remaining ones yet. I think you'll have that wrapped up by next season, though. I can't wait. I really want Tyrion on a dragon. Here's another thing I want to throw out there, because earlier in the week, Woody and I...

Yeah, yes. Earlier with the dragon, dragon maybe uh dragon's gonna like eat her like chomp her up real good like that's how i want it um so early in the week woody and i were talking about um how the uh the series seemingly teleported around a lot in the season finale i i talked to chiz about this, and we were wrong. So if you look very closely in that last scene when Khaleesi's fleet of ships is sailing, the Martell ships are right alongside them in there. I wasn't wrong. I knew that already. I didn't pick up on that. You did?

Yeah. Well, what that means is that she picked him up on the way. He didn't have to go from Dorne back to Slaver's Bay. He just waited at Dorne, and she shows up, and then they keep going on. I did realize that there were more ships there than I thought she should have had. So I did think that maybe something else... Yeah, it's the Dorne ships, it's the Martell fleet, it's the Ironborn, it's the ship she captured, and it's whatever she...

I don't know if I let him get it out, but yeah, the sails on all the ships had the sigils of the different houses, so on first look, you might think that was just Daenerys sailing towards Westeros or whatever, but it was really Daenerys and all these people that she's assembled. All these other houses. So, is episode

one going to be like Blackwater 2.0? Like, is that going to be how season 7 opens up? I think so. They're not going to do well in Blackwater 2.0? Is that going to be how Season 7 opens up? They're not going to do well in Blackwater 2.0. They're all on fire and Tyrion's on the other side. Have no fear, Daenerys rebuilds all the time. She goes from

most OP character in the show to completely out of power and back up again. Daenerys couldn't care any less about the slave cities that she freed and back up again. Daenerys couldn't care any less about the slave cities that she freed and seemingly cared about not two episodes ago.

She's, we have to make sure that you know, slavery is abolished. And then it turns out that, you know, plan A came back into the fold of, you know, we actually got ships now. And she's like, oh, well, we'll come back eventually, I promise. We will, right?

She told Dario, you know, you and the second sons will stay behind to make sure that this peace stays and all that stuff. And the masters are all dead, so they've really conquered the ruling class there. So the whole conflict's over, I think, for the most

part. At least the enemy, which was the wise masters, they've been crippled, and there's only the one left, and he's been, he's had a talking to, you know, so I think it's problem solved. But she created a power vacuum, and she's not there, and... Well, I think the one, yeah, maybe so. And those people who she left and entrusted the city to were also people who worked right alongside her former enemies. So it's kind of stupid. I'm with Taylor. She's a terrible mother. She's a terrible leader. She's bad at everything except gathering troops,

at which she is awesome. She's bad at most things. Let's be honest, by the way, Tyrion was pretty bad. He did not manage Slaver's Bay effectively at all in Daenerys' absence. And meanwhile, you had always thought of Tyrion as a respected sort of leader. I thought he did well. Did you? Yeah, I thought he did really well.

He did great until he didn't. The only problem was that the Wise Masters lied to him and and turned on him but what he did do was he got uh remember he got that red priestess to come in and he was like look we're team calise around here and all the cities from now on understand like she's what gets put out so the whole city is in love with her that she's won the people and that's all that really matters it doesn't really and she crippled that fleet her beating andating an army was never what she needed Tyrion for. She needed Tyrion to help her win the people, which is what he's great at.

Tyrion's like... She comes back the next day, the city's gone. Right. And so I just think that that was the... It was like a month or two, right? She's gone. What are you saying, Josh? Well, it was a while,

but I guess what I was happy, from a plot development standpoint, was I felt like Tyrion getting humbled like that was really, really, really important. Because he's always obviously thought very highly of himself, and he's always been a step ahead of everybody else in King's Landing. So I felt like that was a moment of humility for him that maybe he doesn't have all the answers. And I think that could ultimately make him more of a team player when it comes back to all these plot points coming back together. I'm with Josh completely.

They're not as cool with dwarves, I guess, over there in Essos as they were in Westeros, because it was almost like he was the famous dwarf in Westeros. Like, when you think dwarf, you think Tyrion. Essos, I guess, dwarves still on the lowest rung of society.

They don't care for dwarves there. My question for you folks is, what about Jorah? He's been sent away to find his cure. I hope he never comes back. I'm so tired of the Khaleesi. The Khaleesi could be a good leader eventually if she wasn't surrounded by a group of pearl-clutching yes-men who are constantly

placating themselves and making sure that she's happy with every decision. It's like, no, sometimes this lady needs some hard truth. She's young, and she brought you in to give sound advice, and most of the time, she's like, if I... Should I just burn them and take the ships? Of course, Khaleesi, they are

yours to burn. And it's like, no, that ships? Of course, Khaleesi, they are yours to burn. And it's like, no, that's not fucking helpful, Jorah. Just because you stick so hard every time you get around her doesn't mean that you're giving her poignant economic or policy advice. Her foreign relations are worse than Sarah Palin's at this point. I can see Westeros from my house. Like, no, she has no fucking idea. And it's because she's a young girl being fed by

asshole yes-men who are out for themselves. I was so happy to see her say to that guy who's not the blue-bearded guy anymore to be like, no, you're staying here. You're staying here. But I wanted to be your yes-man over there. No. No, I'm gonna be getting a lot of strange dick over there, and I need to come to the market.

So you're gonna stay here. Probably betray me whatever bring slavery back don't give a fuck like that's that's where i am like do your own thing whatever yeah i like that i love i love that she kicked him to the curb i didn't i didn't i felt like tyrian did like a great job and that's why she get she made him the hand of the of the queen or whatever she was saying like i thought that was her seal of approval. Things were kind of falling apart when she got back, but that wasn't his job really at all. His job was to get the city

going and get the city working, and he did. And you know what it's like? It's like, uh, she showed up and got a situation under control that is only controllable by the three mythical beasts that she happens to be friends with. Like, it's not like she showed back up

and was like this is ridiculous we need four battalions of men on the eastern side of this pyramid we need two over there like no like it's like a guy it's like an eight foot tall body builder walking into a bar and the fights the scuffling you know kind of coming to a halt and everybody being like oh jesus it's not because he was a good diplomat and he walked in and was like let's everybody discuss this and see if we can't come to some sort of agreement he walked in as an eight foot tall man and said i'm gonna eat you if you guys don't stop like that's the way i think what we were meant to take from tyrian's rule was that his decisions are not infallible you know he went in there made peace with other people are not infallible.

You know, he went in there, made peace with other people, and it turned out to be dumb. And there were people advising him, like Worm, Grey Worm, saying, no, look, man, you're making the wrong call. You can't trust these guys.

It's going to go wrong. And Tyrion was wrong, and Grey Worm was right. Score's posted, dude. You can sit here and say, you know what? Things were going really great until they almost burned the city down. But prior to the burning of the city,

things were cool. Nope. Score's posted, man. I think the takeaway from Tyrion's rule was sometimes he makes bad calls too. I think that that was at the end was Khaleesi extending an olive wrench. When she made him the hand, I think that was her saying, you know what?

I know where your value is and for that, because he balances her out in a lot of ways. He does a lot. He's not her yes man. Yeah, he does a lot of the things that you, yeah, he's not her yes man. He does a lot of the things that she needs to be balanced out by, and so I think that was almost her mea culpa, or her extending the olive branch at the end by saying, when we do get to King's Landing, I want you to be my hand, you know, and I won't make the mistake of leaving you in charge solely ever.

To me, it was like, oh, you know what? I recognize you were a good team, right? You did some good things when you were gone, but you're fucked without me. And hey, you know what? I wasn't so hot without you. They had Sons of the Harpy issues. She was in trouble, man. But then together, things go good. To me, that was her

recognizing that there was a good partnership there. I definitely disagree. I see it the other way. Well, I'm sure the subreddit will hate me and say I know nothing about Game of Thrones because fuck. Well, you are good at reading between the lines. I could go on about that. Her making Tyrion the Hand of the King

is the first step on her path to being a legitimately good ruler, if that's where she's going to end up, I think. Delegating and trusting other people and advisors. I do disagree that Tyrion just somehow fucked up beyond belief.

He made a treaty with them and they broke the agreement immediately. It's more that he tried to get it going. If the Khaleesi were present and there, they would have done the exact same thing, and the exact same thing would have played out. I agree.

So I don't want to blame everything falling apart on him exclusively in that way, but I guess what I would say is everything he knew about politics from King's Landing did not work here. And so it kind of backfired on him. And you're right. If they didn't break his treaty,

it would have been the right decision, right? The things he was doing would have been good. But nevertheless, he didn't see that coming because I think it was sort of a blind spot from where he had come from in Kingsland. I feel like him getting betrayed is partly on him, right? You're supposed to be clever enough to recognize which alliances are good ideas and which ones are bad ideas.

I think it could have been, like, just like Josh just said, of doing business in a different area. Like, he had a higher expectation of honor and trustworthiness and, you know, being a man of your word. Like, I guess they're more like in Westeros than in Essos, where it's kind of like, oh, yeah, we're totally down for this. We're going to totally fuck them in two days. The type of fuckery that happens in King's Landing

is more subtle than the type of fuckery that happened where they just simply broke the treaty right away. So I think that he was maybe looking for the wrong type of fuckery, and so he wasn't aware that this was just going to be so like a brick wall crashing down on top of him. Kyle, you were saying that you disagreed, but to do with tyrian i'm curious to your your perspective on it um which part oh you were you were saying maybe it was in just regard maybe we just mulched over oh yeah that was it that's what i was talking about i was just like i disagreed that that i i

don't think he did a bad job of the city and i don't think that she thought he did a bad job and i thought she was like like rewarding him for doing a good job. I thought that's what was going on. That's how I read it. But it was a huge episode. So much shit happened. The Lady Mormont character is my favorite new character by far. She's so badass. She's awesome. I really

hated her when she first got introduced. I was kind of like, eh, not really feeling this. But then like, when she showed up on the battlefield, when she showed up at the end here, you know, naming the new king, and then I of like, eh, not really feeling this. But then when she showed up on the battlefield, when she showed up at the end here, naming the new king, I was like, you know what? You came through, girl. You're in the minority. Most people instantly fell in love with her.

In the first episode, in the background, she was packing up her horse, and I'm like, oh, sweet, she's coming to the battle of the north. I was excited that we were going to see her again, and she didn't disappoint. I said this in PKN, but I'm interested to see were going to see her again and she didn't disappoint. I said this in PKN, but I'm interested to see what

happens to her next year and the year after that because she's at an age where two years from now she'll look completely different. She's about to grow up. Go look at Arya from the first season and it's a huge difference. All these characters went through puberty

except for Rob and John. To me, Bran is the best. Bran was the prime example. I'm Brandon Stark! Like Jon Snow. Jon Snow looks like a little boy in the first episode. I was watching

I saw this thing on Reddit and there's this part in the very first episode where Robert Baratheon comes up to Dan and he's like It's been 10 years! What have you been been doing what's kept you away for so long and he says ah guarding the north for you my lord but like right over his shoulder is john snow and uh and when they zoomed in on john snow i was like shit that's john snow he looks 12 like he's completely clean shave and he looks much smaller um it's it much smaller. It's been six years. Well, he hasn't gone through puberty that much,

because I think he was 23 in the first season. So I think he was pretty much through. Well, they did a good job at making him look that way then. He looked very, very young. Yeah, there's a YouTube video I just shared on my Twitter today. It's called GOT King in the north um and it's a tribute to him it's someone that like montaged his character progression from season one all the way to season six set to this amazing score and it's one of the most as long as you're caught up i

highly recommend watching it um i'll put the i can put the link in the chat or something but it you know it's um it's it's an incredible uh journey to like revisit all the different plot points that because like if you think back he had always been a good swordsman like he was always really this natural sort of fighter even though he was you know the the bastard and always kicked to the side as like some lesser person and not a true lord and not all that but He always was this really almost natural leader and warrior and all of his decisions

that he made were always really instinctive and yet right and that's the sign of perhaps dragon's blood. He's really soft spoken. He's very introspective like Rhaegar was supposedly.

I really love that show. I am more into Game of Thrones right now than I think I ever have been. This season was amazing. What a good season. As a season, it was amazing. I criticize myself. Episode 10, to me, had too much in it. I feel like instead of one super-packed episode,

the season would have been even better if the last four were good. That was my criticism of the very first episode of season six, was they tried to pick up on literally every plot line, and it was too much. They should have just picked three or four and then gone with the other three or four in episode two, but they crammed too much.

My only criticism with the season was I thought that episode one had too much. I didn't feel that about episode 10, honestly. Maybe I'll go back and watch it again and see if I pick up on it right. But they didn't touch at all on Jorah in episode 10. I don't think they... Or did they touch at all on the Brienne

and the Jaime storyline in episode 10? To me, they wrapped up Brienne. Yeah, I guess they did Jaime. They wrapped up Brienne and then, of course, the Sansa Snow thing. And what else did they wrap up in 9? There were like two major things. There was the big battle. They wrapped up Ramsay.

It was the Khaleesi. It was the Khaleesi picking up the ironborn Theon and his sister. Theon, I really like that storyline. I like Theon again. After Theon, it was sometime after they cut Theon's dick off that I forgave him for burning those children and being a real son of a bitch for like two seasons. Like, you know, I forgive him now.

It's interesting because he was being a son. I completely agree. They worked his villain character to a masterpiece because he you realize that he was doing all those things you can empathize with it because he was doing all those things for like this greater good he wasn't doing it strictly to be sinister the way that ramsey was doing things right so in order in order to bring some of his humanity back, they juxtaposed it against someone who truly was just a monster. And then you realize, you start to realize that Theon wasn't a monster. He was just immature and like a really immature and irresponsible leader. He was impressionable.

He wanted to please his father. That's all he's ever wanted. You know, he got manipulated into doing some awful, awful things, and things kept escalating and getting out of hand, and it was like, oh, the only way to cover for this awful thing I just did is by doing that terrible thing over there, and then one after another until he's tied up to the cross. Burning the Boys was terrible, but those boys were not main characters.

The thing that he did to me that always resonated is, like, why Theon's bad is betraying the Starks. Like, you know, he's the reason they lost. I was more upset by the kid burning than by the Stark betrayal. Well, perhaps that makes you normal, but to me it was like... I didn't like it when he chopped that guy's head off.

I can't recall the character's name. Maester Luwin. Just pure stubbornness. But again, like you said, he was very impressionable because he had his sort of sailor goons who were waiting to betray him, who were trying to coax him into it. They're like, yeah, you should do it.

They won't respect you if you don't. They were basically like the devil on his shoulder, and he had no angel to counteract that, really. So he was highly, highly influenced, even into that decision. They socially manipulated him into just doing that. And he was just such a fuck-up. I remember in the books there's this part where he's leading his little ironborn guys

in raiding a village or something or another, and maybe the battle's over, and he sees one of his guys doing something he doesn't like. He's drinking on the job, or maybe he's completely drunk on the job, and the job is pillaging. So he's like, ah, I'll show him, and he knocks an arrow and fires an arrow at the guy, and I think the idea was to scare him or maybe shoot the

jug out of his hand, but instead he just shoots the fucking guy, and he's like, ah, shit! He was always fucking stuff up. But at this point, I can definitely forgive him, because I feel like he has been punished thoroughly. Somehow. I'm sorry.

You know when, like, an Olympic athlete loses a leg, it's somehow a bigger tragedy than when, like, a housewife does? When he lost his cock, you know, it just seemed to hurt him more than everybody else. You know, one, apparently, I don't know if we ever saw it, but I guess it was magnificent. And two, he really used it a lot. Like, that was like, it was a big part of his sense of self-worth, his identity. And that's true, I guess, with all guys,

but with Theon Greyjoy in particular. So when he lost his unit, I was just like, ah, man, you know, like, poor guy. Like, I know you killed a bunch of people, but this makes us even, right? Yeah. Yeah. He's been punished. Obviously, Varys has suffered the same fate in his whole life, but we don't nearly – it wasn't nearly as important to him as it was to Theon.

So you don't – that doesn't define his identity as much as its loss did to Theon. You made him hate magic, though. Taylor – Oh, go ahead. If you lost your dick, if you lost your dick right now, it's gone completely. It gets blown off. Maybe a stray bullet comes and just clean off right at the bottom.

Do you want to go on with life? No. No. I'd have, like... What kind of question is that? Welcome to Painkiller, Rick. the life no no i'd have like uh there'd be no i'm gonna say i'm gonna say i'd go through like a very quick like five stages of denial where i'd be like my dick's gone it can't be gone it's not gone it is oh my god oh i'm depressed about it bang Bang! Just real quick. Are those the five stages?

I only got through three. Would you shoot yourself? Probably wouldn't. I mean, just... Yeah, I wouldn't do that just because I don't want to add to any stats that are going to be used against the Second Amendment down the line. So I would definitely pick a different

thing, but yeah, I would not be what would you do i wouldn't want to live i wouldn't want to live i wouldn't want to live either i would kill myself um in the and i have had that thought before that like you know if i ever did do myself in don't use a gun like like let's and also like i've always thought that like if i ever go on a rampage, crossbow. Crossbow. I'm going to get a longbow. I'm going to be that guy in the mall shooting people with the longbow.

I don't want to be some... I can just see the news right now. Crossbows were built specifically to kill people. They have no other purpose. That's why crossbows are there. They're a more effective killing machine. Meanwhile, there's a wheelchair-bound guy over there trying to hunt. Why? How would you kill yourself? Effective killing machine. Meanwhile, there's a wheelchair-bound guy over there trying to hunt. He's like, why?

Why take this from me? See, how would you kill yourself? Because I think hanging is awful. And I think at home, hangings often turn into strangulation where you just piss yourself. Oh, you go the House of Cards way. Yeah. I mean, it doesn't look like as bad of a way. And there's also no like cleanup yeah you

get really wasted like while you're in the car and and just kind of pass out from that and like not even know anything happened or but like wouldn't you want to like not like go on a rampage or anything but you'd want to like something right before you left, like something impactful. Maybe you just go right up on stage and you just slap a presidential candidate. Right in the middle of their fucking speech. You're a liar, and I don't appreciate it,

and then you do it right there. But then you would die by the gun, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you see that guy? I think he was British, maybe, but that's probably wrong. Did you see that guy who tried to pull the gun though so yeah did you see that guy i think he was british maybe but but that's probably wrong did you see that guy who tried to pull the gun on trump the other day he tried to get a gun a cop's gun yeah they said he'd been planning for a year and that was his fucking plan

give me two seconds and my plan will be better like uh don't do that that's stupid that's so fucking absurd he's like yes for years i've thought about this and yeah it's also absurd he just admitted it all he it's like he didn't even care like he was just like oh yeah like this is this was my plot the whole time it wasn't like he didn't ask for a lawyer or nothing it's like when it's like as soon as he got caught he was just like i'm tapping out like he got me only someone who knows nothing about guns could think that you can just steal it from a holster like it's fucking john wayne's revolver where you just sneak up behind him and grab it and he's like, oh shucks, you foiled me

again, you did. For people that don't know, police holsters, the gun is locked in there in two different ways. There's like a strap across the top and then there's like a button. Kyle, maybe you know this better than me. There's a button next to your thumb. Yeah, there's a button. As you reach for the gun, there's a button to the

holster wearer's thing. Maybe we shouldn't be teaching people on PKA how to steal a holster's firearm. Down and then up. Down and then up. You're going to want to pull, but that's not... Down and then up. Yeah, those retention holsters are made to hang on to the gun. And specifically, like the surface and stuff, there's a button you've got to press.

And so you could grab that pistol by the butt and just pull and surface and stuff, there's a button you got to press. And so if you could grab that pistol by the butt and just pull and pull and pull, but I mean, you might drag me around on the ground by it, but you won't get out of the holster. Even if you know how those holsters work, like they're designed to keep you from being able to get it unless you're the person with it on your side. Like you can...

I don't know, I can take one. Go ahead. I can fucking take a gun out of your holster. I know how that... I mean, it's not like it's a puzzle, right? It's not like I have to come in there and like Rubik's Cube it out. You are gonna catch an elbow from a big fat cop The second he feels any kind of pressure or movement on his side. Did you see the guy who did it?

Tai Chi will come in. Tai Chi? So you're gonna lose some weight? Did you see this video of the guy in the police interview room who tried this? Yeah, I saw that one too. Yeah, yeah. So there was a – the cop was a pretty fit. Was it Chicago, I think? I'm not sure.

I'll take that. It was in America for sure. And the cop was like a pretty fit-looking guy in a short-sleeved shirt with a holster on his side in an interrogation room. And was he actively uncuffing the guy? Is that like – he was trying to cuff him and this is the thing if when you look at the video the cop was also just being an idiot like he was not using very good training he was like both bent over both his arms were working on like

trying to cuff this guy's hands to the chair i guess and so like his gun and holster is just sitting there right next to him in this guy's face. The guy just had to glance over to his shoulder and he's like, yeah, there's a gun and holster right there. And so he thinks this was an actual murderer. And so he just reached for the gun to try to get it out. But, of course, it wouldn't come out. And then the cops started wrestling with him and they dragged the chair that he's handcuffed to across the room. But you left the whole thing.

So here's the thing. So the guy's yanking on it. The retention holster is doing his job. And the whole time he's pulling on it, the perp is saying shoot me shoot me kill me kill me and there's like in a real hurry two or three other cops rushed into this small room and he's trying to suicide by cop shoot me shoot me kill me kill me it was pretty heavy and he's I'm I was a little surprised that he wasn't successful in his attempt at suicide

But they were straight. That's what they always say right like when the cops shoot somebody like I was trying to get my gun That's that's all he's that's the he was threatening. I felt my life was threatened for law enforcement Like like like if if Woody shoot somebody I felt my life was threatened. Let me speak to my lawyer Like but if a cop shoot somebody he was trying to get my gun. Hey, I found the video. It's 55 seconds long. You guys want to see it? Yeah. Sure. I'm always up to... Oh, nobody gets hurt, though, huh? Better luck next time.

Nobody gets hurt. I don't even know if I care. All right, are we all queued up? So what will happen, JD, is I'll say, ready, set, play, and we'll all hit play at the same time. All right, sounds good. Oh, I'm surprised. It's a black guy. I'm all squared away. Ready, set... Are, and we'll all hit play at the same time. Alright, sounds good. I'm surprised. It's a black guy. I'm all squared away. Ready, set... Are you ready, JD? Yes. Ready, set, play.

Look at how big that guy's arm is. He looks very strong. It looks like wolf sitting there He's fucking see what I mean like he's just It's putting his gun in his face Look at that gun like well the perp has had like ten seconds to think about this now. Yeah, yeah This is wasn't on his mind until it was presented to him. You know like it wasn't even I don't think it was there like oh Like it wasn't even, I don't think it even crossed his mind until it was there. Look. Oh, God.

Oh. Oh, he's got the gun right in the back. Do you hear the audio? They think, kill me. Yeah. But that was probably one of the only reasons why they didn't shoot, is they probably realized, as soon as he started yelling, kill me, they just realized, oh, that's what he wants, so let's not do that.

Like they were just being jerks about the whole thing. Yeah. What we were going to. Don't do it, Jim. It's what he wants. That was pretty intense. I wonder what he would have done if he'd gotten the gun in his hand.

He probably just would have pointed it at them and he might have just started shooting them because he wants to die anyway or something yeah i mean for some reason that's what people want were you in the dare program when you were in elementary school or anything taylor like the the drug prevention bullshit oh yes i learned all about resisting drugs and violence did you have a cop come in and like talk to you oh i did i had a couple cops come in and they gave you very poignant lessons about life and drugs a kid tried to grab our cops gun one time she did grab the gun like he grabs it and like it wasn't like he was trying to pull it out and go to town he was just like oh a gun and she lost her shit on this i'm trying to let me think what

's a female police officer yeah it was either sixth grade or eighth grade I can't be sure which but she lost her shit on him like finger in his face like like you just stepped into my world little man like it was crazy like I should have tased him she should have tased him before tasers were really a well maybe tasers were probably new back then I don't know it was like 2000 98 I don't know it's a long time oh there were tasers in the 90s right I don't know. It was a long time ago. Oh, there were tasers in the 90s. Right? I don't remember. Pop out and deploy and shoot about 10 feet away. They were definitely

the kind where they bridged the gap. The world pre-YouTube is hard to remember, honestly. It really is. There's no documentation that I'm aware of. That's right. There's no documentation outside of books. Who reads those anymore? Dude, what Google owns at this point is so essential to mankind. It almost seems like, and this is not typical me,

the government should own it instead. We need a non-corporate caretaker of this Library of Congress. I know it's scary to think the government can own it. It'll stop getting good. But, dude, imagine if Google didn't work as a search engine. How, like, the advancement of mankind would recess a little bit. Bing!

Yeah, just Bing it. You know, I'm not just talking about porn. Like, there's other things we need to look into. And YouTube is, like, a similar thing. Like, I feel like if you want to know how to replace the rear backup camera on a Toyota, then YouTube is where you go to find that out. YouTube is so essential to everything.

It ties into my thing 20 minutes ago on how you're not allowed to be dumb about YouTube anymore. You need to know that a professional YouTuber is a thing that exists. You need to know that YouTube is a resource of knowledge that will kick your library's ass there were very helpful videos on the internet pre YouTube for getting anything useful done like all I remember is watching useless garbage on ebombs world and like albino black sheep or whatever other fucking sites had funny videos on it but there

was nothing helpful there like hey you're trying to plant a garden? Well, make sure you get this nitrogen to lay around there, and then your tomatoes will get big. Nothing helpful. When YouTube was invented, the whole reason why I worked on Call of Duty is because I used to run the biggest Call of Duty fan site. This was pre-YouTube, pre-Facebook, pre-Twitter. It was called Call of Duty HQ. You were like the guy.

We hosted videos, we hosted trailers, and again, there's no other place to really watch them. There is GameTrailers.com. But it was that wasn't even nearly what it is today. And plus for Call of Duty news and info, my site was still the destination. So we would upload raw files with little readme texts that were the description effectively, and then the avi file or the mob that you would watch and so um when when youtube was invented we also hosted we were big into modding so we also hosted um to to our credit would be um helpful videos

educational videos we hosted um you know how basically video tutorials these entire sites and industries have emerged for video tutorials and video training you on how to do something. And we were using that for GTK Radiant and for Gradient, the level editor for Call of Duty back then. So we would upload all these videos for different mappers and modders, teaching you how to export a weapon anim from Maya into an engine or building a level, building with a level editor. And we would, so when YouTube came around in 05, like we immediately realized that like this is the future and this is absolutely going to take off while everybody else kind of saw that as just another place for silly videos like

Ebalm's World, right? And so...-Bombs World? Yeah. That came from my hometown. Eric Baum, he comes from Rochester, New York, which is where I grew up. E-Bombs World is like a hometown success story for Rochesterians. Oh, that's cool. Well, let me tell everyone a little bit about Tracker.

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It's a big monitor. It's hard to see everything. A lot of real estate over there. Awesome. Yeah, yeah. I was thinking, I'm like, gosh, I should stick it on my paramotor.

I've got two of them that's what we should do in case someone steals it and flies it away you know I just feel like I'm trying to find the perfect thing I could put it on say you could put it on your dignity no I'm just kidding so if I were to put it on like

I don't know a gun for example right dude I don't just like carelessly leave them sitting in the back of a truck or something like it I have I catch it necessarily, you know because it's coins it'd be like dangling off some way It's not like someone wouldn't see it Right, right, but I picked it cuz it's the kind of item that I keep my eyes on so clearly that you know Like it if that gets stolen, it's because they took it from my cold, dead hands. Right.

Such a tough guy. But like the paramotor, like you do, I could like slip that in the harness and then I can imagine a paramotor event where I walk away from it. Like, how is that? You can't just easily like tuck a paramotor in the car and lock it for safety or something like it's too big. Yeah. So.

Oh, that's right it was really windy yesterday wasn't it to us to told it oh my god you your come show that everybody you just made this oh hope for look at this camera so you know is that here in the suit what is going on there there you go is that a what is going on there? I'm so bad at this. There you go. What is this? It's cold, I see. Ice cream sandwiches.

Well, this is like an epic mealtime meal. You pretty much just made a lasagna out of pre-bought store food things. Excellent. No, those are good. That's the thing. That dog. Whoa, the dog! It's like this close.

It does look amazing. Are you sticking or going? I have to go cut this. Okay, okay. Yeah, sure, I'll take a piece. That looks really tasty. Best wife in the world, but, like, totally unaware of all

sorts of video things. Like, she has no idea. She's not. She's, like, six feet from a mic, or like, I don't know. Just like, here, check it out. And it she's like six feet from a mic or like i don't know just like here check it out and it's like off camera i'm like come on baby but look great she's showing it to the monitor not the camera but anyways she's wonderful she's just not a natural at this stuff um yeah yeah so the video goes live tomorrow as we record this, but yesterday for most of the people listening. And yeah, I got there in the morning, and it was like a close call. So the instructor flies first.

He comes back, and he had a hard time with the landing because the grass was completely wet. It wasn't just dew. It was rain. So he's like, you know what? Take a breath. Maybe practice some throttle control. Hang in. There's like a simulator where we can practice things going to take a breath, maybe practice some throttle control, hang in.

There's like a simulator where we can practice things. Let the grass dry, and then you go. And I'm totally like strapped in. I'm like a helmet on, strapped in. I'm about to go, go. It's time. And he's like, you know what? I'll just take another lap.

I'm just going to go right quick. Make sure that the air is doing something tricky like the windsock which is like 15 feet off the ground was doing something different than the clouds and he's like let me just see what the fuck's actually happening. So he takes a quick flight and that didn't go right and

he just called it quits. Well shit. So that's even worse than I thought. See I thought that you'd gotten a weather report oh it's not going to work today. And then you were just like, oh, it's off. You're telling me you drove all the way the fuck out there, strapped your thing on, and then they were like, nope. Dude, yeah, I had my wing laid out.

I strapped it on. We put more fuel in. That's bullshit. Yeah, I was... That's bullshit. They couldn't have emailed you real quick and said, hey, it's probably not going to happen. Don't waste your whole day coming out here.

How much driving was that? It's like three hours each way, right? Six hours, yeah, yeah. Fuck them. Ah, dude. At this point, I would be like, you know what? It's pretty fucking calm out there today. You're putting a Wright Brothers amount of time into flying,

and aviation has been possible for over a century. I don't want to join in the rip fest of Marco. I think that it's just difficult to predict this kind of weather a day in advance. It just sucks because, you know, it does stink. So I want to do it. We want to see you do it. And it's not three trips ago. I was going to fly three trips ago.

I was going to fly. But the weather wasn't right. So Josh, do you know what a paramotor is? No, I mean, I think I probably do. He has a fan on his back, and he's dragging a parachute. And once he takes flight, he sort of putters around through the air, protecting him from certain death, clouds suck, geese, you know, all those things that you deal with at 10,000 feet.

Wind, the most dangerous of the elements. I think that's hilarious how you said that, Woody, where you're like, the wind was doing something, and I wanted to be like, blowing? Was it blowing? Was there a gentle idling throughout the sky of air molecules? A small, what's this? Ah, no, not today.

My finger feels a tad cool. Like I can tell because that means there's wind. And if it's going down here, it's going even faster up there. I saw that on the Discovery Channel. So he trains in the mountains. And in some ways that's really cool because you're not learning in like Fisher-Price conditions, right? Winds shifting, blowing, picking up, like things come in quickly and go. The beach would be the opposite.

That's like Fisher-Price, right? Wind just blows the same way all day long. If you learn on the beach, there's a strong argument that when you try to go anywhere else, you'll suck and you'll crash. If you learn in the mountains, well, shit, anywhere else is a piece of cake. But the challenge is, you know,

it's just not the right day every day and, you know, even tomorrow I'm going back again and he's like, you know what? It looks good tomorrow, but since it's raining the day before let's try to fly at night. You should go do it on the ocean because you know

that's not what the normal flying is going to be like. You won't be going into it thinking, man, I'm a master of flight now. You'll know it's going to be different. You should stay along the coast and be out there in the shallows so at least you'd be ahead. You wouldn't die. Maybe that's a bad idea But I was gonna ask this so we all know from our videos and from watching you a bit that Commonly you could just hop out in the field like in my backyard or yard or your backyard just and go is

It is it a more common thing or at least as common to just get on a mountaintop where you're really high up and use It kind of a paraglider and just start from really high to avoid all the climbing or some of it with a paramotor um no i don't think so i think that uh paramotor guys like they do go around mountains apparently you know part of the fun is and i haven't done the fun part yet is like checking stuff out like flying near things you know old abandoned like factories fun part of paramotoring i'm told yes is the flying oh dude it was it was great because like there was almost a revolt last class it was quiet no one heard about it but he's like all right all right the wind's not good let's all put the paramotors on our back and run up and down the

fucking hills with the wing over our head and everyone was like yeah or it's like a grand old time yeah you're not training for a fucking bowl game you gotta get ready yeah we're taking on the fucking razor sparrows paramotor team next week you know they're in first place in the division we're gonna rip north carolina right there was one student who said and it wasn't me i'm too old for this shit i've seen some of the people in the class i think i saw him maybe i like i've done by the way it should be noted it's not like i just revolted this i have run up and down that hill kiting successfully with the motor on my back and the wing in the air dozens of times.

I can do it. So it's not like I'm refusing to learn a thing. I just learned it. Stop. It hurts. It's not boot camp. We're not going for more reps here. I know how to run, and you're clearly able to support the 75 pounds.

I was surprised when Hope put on the 75 pounds. Those were smaller yeah so yeah yeah i have um i'm not impressed at all now yeah i take back everything i just said i was impressed under false pretenses yeah she actually she's um god this seems so uncomplimentary for a girl but she's a sturdy girl like i i didn't really look at her in this way, but I see her. I saw her stand and jump and stuff recently, and it's like, oh, she's kind of got her dad's legs. There's some muscular...

That's a core strength there. Yeah. Josh Pye doesn't know, but I'm kind of just normal in my upper body, but in my legs, I'm actually pretty heavy. He's a bit like a dwarf. Yeah. Did you run?

Did you do any sports in school? Swimming is what I did in school, which doesn't really lend itself to big, strong legs. You'd think upper body with swimming. Right? But yeah, no, I'm just, whatever, strong in the legs. And she is too. So she picked it up.

But I should fly tomorrow. Heard that before? Ringing a bell? Good luck, man. I really want you to fly. And I'm a little afraid for you. Kitty and I, we talk about this a lot. About how worried we are about Woody and his flying contraption. And his new hobby of being an airman.

I'm just like, yeah. Have you seen the videos of people crashing? She's like, yeah, yeah, I saw. He's crazy. He's crazy crazy he's just a big fan it's getting to where like every time i see those videos i know exactly what the fuck they did wrong i'm like what why was that guy pulling brakes in a full stock well in a full stall you do pull brakes but you know like like i just i sit there and diagnose it like oh yeah you know he did that that's the exact opposite of what you want to do. And that feels good because even a few weeks ago, I didn't feel like that.

Has there been any more talk or had there been any – like I'm just imagining like fisherman stories, like everybody's sitting by the pier and one guy's got the eye patch on and he's got a cloud suck story. Has there been anything like that? Well, we watched a – like I mentioned a documentary where this woman, world-class paraglider, got sucked up by a cloud suck. Went unconscious, you know, hypothermic, like, and then just, like, her, her paraglider collapsed.

She sunk like 8,000 meters and then it came to again and she lived to tell the story. But her, it's not a GPS, but picture like a GPS that tracks you as you do your thing. So it's GPS plus. It told the story of everything she did up there. Dude, she got high. It was like 10,000 meters. I guess 10 kilometers. Oh, shit. That's deadly.

How did she... She was in the death zone. Her parachute collapsed because the air was too thin. Because it froze. Because it was wet. That's like where jetliners cruising altitude is 10,000 meters. Jesus. Yeah, yeah, something like that. Yeah, she went unconscious

because there wasn't enough oxygen in the air. A jetliner could have hit her. Imagine that. Oh, now that's, you know, it's incredibly unlikely. Yeah, yeah, very unlikely. A lot of air. But she's up there at the right altitude to get hit by

a fucking 707 or something. Where I'm at, I could easily achieve the right altitude to get hit by a jetliner. I'm just outside of Class C airspace. Go on. Another thing that's much more likely, because there's more people doing it, and is equally terrifying, is like, what if you're out at sea

doing one of these, you know you and your buddy are sailing a ship or something and it's just one of those gigantic oil ships one of those shipping ships just hits you like those things are there's a whole lot more of those constantly crisscrossing than there are

going through your particular airspace no they can't stop and what if it's night time imagine this you're doing some cross of cross-Atlantic journey on a lark in some 30-foot racing yacht, and all of a sudden, a gigantic 600-foot-long tanker ship just hits you in the middle of the night. So they have systems.

I forget what the radar is called that prevents that. But the LaVagabond guys, they didn't have one. They're just like, we wing it. Really? We got this horn here. But it beeps and it'll wake you up if someone is too close to you.

I feel like an air horn was their answer to everything. What happens when the ships come? Oh, the air horn! What about when the reapers come? Oh, we give them the air horn! Well, we don't like to be too rude to the reapers come oh we give them the air horn it's not well we don't like to be too rude to the rapers we we turn it down a bit we don't point it right at them did you hear where did you watch the video where the vagabond guys got attacked by pirates no no but i can already tell that it's not as exciting as their title said it was

dude it was pretty frightening so in the middle of the night, they're just like sailing and sleeping or something. They have an autopilot and a fishing boat approaches them in a place where there shouldn't be a fishing boat. Like they're out too far. And like, I think that Alina, if I pronounce that right,

she, Alina, if I pronounce that right, she, Alina, she, she spotted them first and she's like, you know, Riley, Riley, Riley, you know, it's like pirates out there. And they had, did he put her down below like in Waterworld? They had a plan ahead of time. And yeah, dude, there's literally a little like cabin that you might not even know is a place to store things. And they put things in there that you don't use much, like the bumpers for docking. Are they called bumpers?

Whatever they're called. And so they pulled those out and they stuck her in and she's hiding in like a little compartment where you might store like a spare anchor or something. And he goes up top and you know they're asking like what do you want you know he's asking him what do you want and they ask for food and he doesn't know if this is like the opening for something else or whatever so he starts chucking cans of food at them right and like the first one comes and I think it like hit the the deck

and like skittered off past the end of the boat. He throws another one and it hits the side of the boat and goes in the water and he's like, but I'm starting to dial it in now. He hits a pirate with a can of food. They're like,

Jesus. Is that what you're filming? Beggars. Those were sea beggars. They were sea beggars. Well, I don't actually – I wouldn't be surprised at all to learn that this is like a pirate technique. Like, oh, step one, see who's on board.

And if you haven't seen Riley lately, he's looking really athletic right now, no homo. And I wonder if they were like, next one. They're looking for a good 63- 63 year old sailor and not some guy ever why don't they have a gun if they're actual swashbucklers out there then fucking bring it like i got like you're gonna have a hard time getting in here i'm just gonna poke you back down like he needs a spear at that point if you're dealing with that kind of pirates but i still stand by that fucker needs a gun. At least some sort of blank firing scare him and pretend like it's

a little kind of gun. In that situation, he pulls out the fake blank firing gun and goes bang, and they all shit themselves and leave. Those were just homeless seafolk. Seabaggers. Who are seabaggers. That's like me going on the way through the city here, and there's

a homeless guy like, you got change or something, and there's a homeless guy, like, you got change or something? And I'm like, bandits! And I start to get the shit out of him. Like, no, I wouldn't do that, because it's not a bandit. Like, it's a homeless guy asking for money. He's not going to, you know,

accost me any further if I just walk past him. Just like these folks, like, I kind of picture them being like, I am not the captain now, but I would like some food. Just like these folks, I kind of picture them being like, I am not the captain now, but I would like some food. And he's just like, heaving fucking old cans of lima beans at him, spitefully.

I don't know. I like to think all they got out of it was some chicken broth and tomato paste, and they're like, well, fuck. Hey, Fabio, you son of a bitch. That's too good. Was Jack just heaving them ated like was he throwing them hard to impact them because it

sounded like let me based on the fact only boat the idea that both so fragile that a can of peace things like the phone like some sort of international terrorism charge. He's like a boat. He's the ultimate irony. That's how the judge would sound. It sounds like they were just being mean to sea folk.

I don't know that sea bankers are a thing. It seems like a really inefficient way to get food. Just go out into deep water. That's not the place to panhandle, is it? No. On the open sea. Yeah. They should really be waiting outside of like a

sports stadium or something. The ocean is not a good place to find random folks. Have you guys seen the movie Into the Wild? Is that the one with the, what's her name, Reese Witherspoon? Nope. No, that's wild.

Is that the one where the guy goes crazy and goes up to Alaska or something, lives in a van, and then dies at the end? Okay, spoiler alert. Spoiler alert. Just so you guys know, there's going to be a spoiler a few seconds ago. It's not a spoiler, it's me saving you a little fucking time so you to be a spoiler a few seconds ago. I don't want it. It's not a spoiler. It's me saving you a little fucking time so you don't watch such a depressing fucking movie.

And the bad part is he dies because he's not good at his job. The whole movie is him being cool and great at his job and surviving and all this stuff. He died because he ate poisonous mushrooms, right? I believe so. Yeah, yeah. He died because he ate ate some plant i think it was a root and it was very similar to a root that he should have been eating and got poisoned and i don't know if it was the poison so much that killed him as it was the poison

that made him like unable to like forage and drink and like do the things you need to keep yourself alive like like for example basically was like a survivalist. You've seen the funny YouTube videos where they'll be like, oh, you can tell this is a birch tree because it's the way it is. Oh, you can eat these mushrooms. Give it a go.

He had that level of knowledge in the wilderness. He was a less interesting Bear Grylls? He was not knowledgeable. He was like Bear Grylls. interesting Bear Grylls? Yeah, he was not knowledgeable. He was like Bear Grylls if Bear Grylls didn't do any training or had any knowledge of anything at all. He honestly went out there with little more knowledge than I had. So this guy's 22 years old. He's super effective in school.

His grades are good enough to go to Harvard Law School. But instead, he has 2626,000 in his college account. He gives $24,000 to charity and gets some cash or something. Drives out and he decides to just live life. He's like, fuck possessions. Fuck, I don't know, your whole world. I don't need all that, man. I don't want a career.

Happiness isn't achieved through personal relationships. It's all about living new experiences. So that becomes his thing. And he's, like, super fascinating. He hooks up with some of these hippies, and they're having, like, trouble with their relationship, and he helps them patch that together. He meets up with some grandpa, learns leatherworking, learns how to, um, Kyle, what is it called when you get the meat out of like a deer or something

butchering but okay yeah i couldn't come up with that word but yeah he learns how to like butcher an animal yeah clean it whatever and uh he picks up some life skills and he's like going around on trains he overcomes fear like it was a really inspired like i loved the movie personally and then at the end he's's just struggling to find food. He ate poison or something. And he goes, and then a drone shot pulls away. And I'm like,

that's the kind of thing you do for a death scene. But, nah. I couldn't believe it at first. Fuck that movie. I loved it. My ex-girlfriend made me watch that. Until the last minute. And I was like, so for me, so there are movies that, you know, for the first 90%, it's kind of a fun ride.

But because of that last 5% or 10%, whatever it is, it leaves a bad taste in your mouth. So the whole movie, I'm dreading the end. Braveheart's like that. It's why I don't watch Braveheart anymore. That movie has all the negatives of Braveheart that I don't want to watch because of the way it ends, but none of the positives.

Whenever I see someone doing that thing where they throw money away, it just strikes me wrong. I don't like that at all. And when I see someone like... Throw money away, a.k.a. give it to charity. Yeah, he threw it away. Yeah, he threw it away. Yeah, he threw it away. Giving away, what,

24 out of 26 of his entire worth to some... What charity did he even give it to? They probably kept 80% of it. Fuck him. Knowing charities, it probably added like 18 grand to the CEO, 3 grand of pink t-shirts, and 60 cents made it to a scientist for him to buy.

And I like the idea of alternative lifestyles in general. But I don't – he could have done it – why didn't he take that 26 grand and buy himself an RV or something. Didn't he live in like a van? How about you take a few books out of the fucking library? Like, I don't know, Rachel Ray's In the Wild or some kind of cooking book that would give you a little bit of foresight. That's actually what he did. He brought a book with him on how to survive off the land.

Not a very good book in the end. Well, it's the kind of mistake I think anyone could make, you know, where they misidentify a plant. That was never getting returned. He could have used a smartphone with Google.

He should, yeah. He should. See a smartphone with Google. Yeah, he should. It happened in the early 90s. I feel like everyone knows that the riskiest thing to do out in the wild is to just willy-nilly start eating mushrooms and berries. Mushrooms and berries,

the reason they're bright red or a crazy color is because it's telling all the the animals around they're like hey i'm not even trying to fucking hide because if you eat me you're gonna have a horrible day you may just get fucked up to the point that you die you want to die no don't eat me if something's bright red in nature they're daring you yes yeah um that really is true but every so often every so often there's one like oh i'm just pretending to be a badass you know they're all chest is puffed up but it's really a tomato snake yeah like raspberries we know your game

portland apples yeah so but but i love that kind of and i couldn't hear your words. Some things want you to eat them, though. That's because that's how they spread their seeds. Oh, sure. Yeah, like cherries. What was I going to say? Oh, I love that kind of movie.

There's one called... I'm going to mess up the name of it. Like 180 Southbound or something, where they like... Dude, it's great. They take a sailboat, sailboat breaks. They go surfing for a couple months and they go mountain climbing. That's a really great life experience. 480 Southbound was the name of the movie?

180 Southbound I think. But I'm close. I'm maybe not right on. There was another one called Maiden Voyage and they all have these rough endings. They don't end exactly like you want them to. There's one where a 14 yearold girl goes sailing around the world. Have you seen that one, Maiden Voyage?

By herself? Yes. She's going to be the youngest solo girl to ever go around the planet. And where she's from, the Netherlands probably, something close to that, like that, who knows. And the government wants to prevent this they're saying that her parents are like incompetent and they're like based on this decision alone like 14 year old girl shouldn't be sailing around the world obviously you need government intervention on this

but like if there was ever a 14 year old who was prepared it was her she's been sailing forever she's like done other cross like big sailing trips and stuff and um if ever there was one this is the little girl for the task by the way she's not one of those 14 year old girls that pass for like 22 she could pass for 13 you know she's on the other end of the spectrum and i imagine it's lady mormont but on the on the seas that's what i'm picturing. Yeah. Just for my own. So she sails around. I'll spoil it. So fast forward 10 seconds if you don't want that.

She gets to a rough part, like the South Sea, by going around Cape Horn or something and bails on it and decides, you know what? The around the world thing, not my priority anymore. I'm just going to keep sailing and I like this lifestyle. She's like 15 and she picks up some 19-year-old dude and they become like partners in this endeavor and they sail around like in love. And I'm just like, at 15 though? Yeah, her parents are bad parents. Right? Because like, good lord. Like a 14-year-old, you shouldn't even tell them that they can go to a huge party where parents won't

be there because shit's gonna go down like much less yeah go have a ball around the world oh you're a 14 year old girl it's fine the world all around has a general track record of treating 14 year old girls pretty well and they show up on a company so go go hog wild i'm sure that when you like you know sail into the coast of africa for repairs, they won't try to get one over on you. When you pull into South Africa, just treat it exactly like the Netherlands. It's all the same. Just go in and you tell them, hey, I'm needing fuel for my boat. And they say, you're not leaving here?

And you say, you don't understand. I go around the world to try and break your record. I am from the Netherlands, and I have no real challenges in life, so it's almost insulting to you as a boatsman that I would do this as a joke, as a joking thing. You can't send a girl from the Netherlands around the world, and I think it's going to be okay. How much is 30 gallons of diesel?

Oh, two rapes. That's too fucked. Well, we're going to need three of your fingers to sell in our voodoo shop. Where the hell is she refueling at? Jesus. I don't know. Fingers and rapes.

That's the currency of the day here. Welcome to hell. Fuck. That would be currency of the day here. Welcome to hell. Fuck. That would be a truly horrible place. I'd never want to go to South Africa now. I didn't know that about that place. I don't know if it's Central or West Africa,

but there is a place where they dismember albino people because they think that they have magical properties. That's true. I've seen where some of the albino people had escaped it, but they lost a hand, and they're like, where's your hand? And they're like, they ground it up into powder

and snorted that shit because that's what they fucking do where I'm from. That's so fucking... God, what a horrible life. Constantly being horrified. You're already hiding from the sun all fucking day every day now they want to grind you up into powder and snort you i would i would go somewhere else baby no shit yeah and they'll say like no no no don't you understand they're broke they're immobile they

can't no i would make it a top priority the same thing is true for those people who like live in those like ludicrously bad neighborhoods that are only really seen in movies and television i suppose like where there's like a shooting every day and like you hear the gunshots and you just know to drop and get low or whatever like why the fuck are you living there what is your rent is it non-existent because otherwise leave like like it doesn't even make sense to eat if it were free, it doesn't make sense to stay there. There's apartments everywhere for $300, $400. There's Airbnbs that are dollars a day. I just live out of Airbnbs.

I saw – when I was in LA and I was kind of scanning through the Airbnb, at the very – I was like, what's the bottom tier? Because the top tier – That's where that Airbnb is, is that neighborhood for a dollar a day. It's worse. It looked like somebody was renting out a cot in the back room of their workplace. It was like Kevin from IT doesn't come in on weekends, so he just rents out this

space back here. There was literally an army cot like just metal poles with canvas stretched across, and in the background you could see the worst cable management ever for like a data center or something just wires strewn everywhere tables and they were all plugged into these multiple access points and like that's the only picture that came with this 15 a day airbnb dude i would never go to an airbnb that was like less than like 80 bucks or something like

i would put it at like a real hotel level you know like i'm not going and sleeping anywhere for 80 cents a day because it's a deal because that's just some dude who ran out of skin to paint on and is looking for an out to re-up and murder you like there's it's no you shouldn't be just staying in people's homes for 80 cents a day but i do think josh is probably right airbnbs you're gonna find for a dollar are gonna be in those neighborhoods that are just garbage like i'm sure those albino people in africa like if they could leave i'm sure they they would they'd head out we'd hop on the they'd hop on the first fan boat out of there or whatever riding giraffe however they get around however yeah primary why did they never harness any of those wild animals over there in Africa?

They had so many cool animals. Why did they never ride any of those giraffes or zebras or anything? I know we've heard the zebras are cocksuckers, but couldn't you take them? They just never domesticated them, I guess. It takes a while before you'd need to go through generations of giraffes until you came upon

a friendly mix of giraffe that wouldn't just neck beat you to death when you walked within range. Maybe they got a generation in and they were like, this is horse shit, no way. No, we're not doing this. I can't even get up on there conveniently. What does this help?

If I get up there, I'm high enough to fall down and hurt myself and not high enough yet to get plants from the trees. There was a really cool YouTube video on why different animals got domesticated. Did we watch it together? Oh yeah, we watched that. I recall now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you have a new topic? Sure, what you got?

Twitch has introduced a new thing for streaming. Of course, it was gaming at first and then it became music and then they added something else. Pornography. No, what was the next one they added something else pornography no what was the next no what was the next one they added after um music what do you call it when it's like creative or something for like bob ross and painting and shit like that uh the new one social eating twitch has opened up

yeah so it's really really big in in some of the asian markets like japan um so i let me let me just make sure i know what you're talking about you're referring to where It's really, really big in some of the Asian markets like Japan. So let me just make sure I know what you're talking about. You're referring to where people will run a stream where they'll just – it'll just be them eating dinner and they want to talk to their audience? Yes. You're shitting me. That's so fucking stupid. What a profound waste of time.

This is one of the dumbest things I've ever seen. Do they talk about the food? Is that the central topic? Just one second. this is the this is one of the dumbest thing they talk about the food is that just one second for everyone who's in the comments hating on me for eating my that thing my wife just gave me you don't realize I'm ahead of the game I'm gonna rule this shit this is the new hot thing you all just experienced the

newest thing it's really really really really popular in like Japan right now I think so experienced the newest thing in entertainment. They didn't even realize it. It's really, really, really popular in Japan right now, I think. So where a lot of really popular things begin, right? So they, I guess it's like these big YouTubers or big influencers, Twitch streamers,

streamers of the day, they'll eat dinner. They'll get their dinner, they'll prepare it, they'll put it in front of them and they'll sit at a table and they'll put the camera at the other end of the day, they'll eat dinner, they'll get their dinner, they'll prepare it, they'll put it in front of them and they'll sit at a table and they'll put the camera at the other end of the table. And it's as if they're eating with like their family and then their audience who also, you know, this is what they figured out. And it sounds so stupid and sad, but think about it, right? This is what they figured out. They figured out that there is a market of people, probably the average viewer for them and even

the average viewer for a lot of folks who don't they don't get that lifestyle i was fortunate enough when i grew up we had nightly dinners 5 30 p.m every night the whole family had to be at the dinner table or you're fucked so but for a lot of people that's not the case for a lot of people they eat by themselves they reheat chinese food they go and get takeaway and they just eat in front of netflix or in front of YouTube. So what better way than to say to your audience, hey, everybody get dinner at the same hour. It'll be 7 p.m. every night. I'll be here eating, and you can eat with me, and we can eat together.

And then they can have this feeling of connectedness and this feeling of family. Bizarre. It's kind of not the worst logic ever, and it apparently is huge. I'm with you a little bit on that. This isn't even the same thing. I remember we used to get on Xbox Live, and sometimes we'd watch a Netflix movie together. We'd all be like, three, two, one, play. Same time.

Yeah, so I can appreciate sharing an experience with someone who's not even there, through the internet or whatever. That makes a lot of sense to me. We just did it on this podcast when we watched the Police Escape video, and we play it at the same time and we watch it together. That's a little bit different because we're entertainers trying to make a show for an audience, but it's also

it's really of the same ilk. It's from the same vein. Are they doing entertaining things during dinner, or are they just eating? I think they're just chatting and sometimes they'll put nuanced variances on it. Like they'll do a little challenge, or their audience will pick their meal for the next night, and then they'll eat it and describe it.

So there are niche sort of variations on it, but the fundamental motivator here is that you're eating together with your audience. See, I keep looking for ways to go a different direction with it, but it's clearly about the connection you're making with the audience. It's specifically around the dinner table, but I keep thinking, well, maybe you show how you prepare the food. Maybe you prepare a really gourmet meal. Maybe it's something

really tasty. Maybe that's the draw, but it sounds like the real draw, the reason this is popular is because people are more and more turning to online relationships, and they don't have someone to eat dinner with them at their home. So they're like, oh, there's a stranger on the internet who will eat with me, which sounds very sad to me.

It does. I understand it from like a... Because when you watch someone online, you want to connect with them more and you want to feel like it's not just the one-way relationship that it is a lot of the time. You want to feel like there's some reciprocity there. So I get it. It's just this medium for it.

It's almost like the curtain has been fully pulled back. Where it's like, we're not even pretending. There's nothing entertaining on the screen. I'm not doing anything you couldn't do. I'm not doing anything you don't have the ability to do. I'm just eating. And you want to be here with me because

you're eating alone. The next step... Okay, I hear you. Do the next step in eating. want to be here with me because you're eating alone. And you want to. You know what would make a tool? The next step. OK, I hear you. Do the next step in eating. This is what you need. Turn it sideways. None of this is just camera stuff.

You need one of those 360 degree cameras. And then you add it to a family dinner. If you occupied one of the chairs, there's six chairs at my table, right? We'll give you one. And then you can sit there and choose who you're talking to. That would be way better production value than what we're seeing. Are we talking about a conference room where we're all eating together?

Yeah. I'm hoping that that's what's going to come of the HTC Vive. I don't know if that's already a thing out there. I saw those. I want us to do video conferencing. We all put our things on. We all sit there and all of a sudden Woody's sitting next to me and this guy's there.

You're thinking too small because that's the obvious application. I want to see VR stadiums where you pack a stadium full of virtually connected digitized in VR beings and now you're doing VR sports spectacles. That would be neat.

Yeah, I'm, uh, I saw the one game that I was particularly interested in, because I'm a big Star Trek nerd, is the bridge, uh, the bridge simulator game, I don't know if you saw that, but you and, like, three or four or five friends are the bridge crew of the Enterprise, and I can look over and see you and wave to you and be like, yeah, fucking put the shields up, and you're

over there toggling shields on and targeting the Klingons, and I'm over there trying see you and wave to you and be like, yeah, fucking put the shields up, and you're over there toggling shields on and targeting the Klingons, and I'm over there trying to get the transporters to work so we can get checked off off the planet or whatever. Doesn't it seem like everyone wants to be the captain, though? Like, I always feel like... Nah, the captain's just giving orders. He doesn't actually do shit. Hmm, well, then, I just feel like... Tactical officer.

Because all the roles are not the same, yeah, maybe everyone wants to be tactical officer. The pilot gets to fly. And the cabbie gets to drive. The engineer, I think, is keeping shields on, maybe. Maybe a system goes down and he has to fix it and get it going again. He's operating the transporters. It's a team effort. I'm sure it is, but it's a cool job and a bunch of other jobs. I don't know too much about it.

Yeah, I don't know either. I just saw some flashes of them operating panels and stuff and putting the shields up and targeting stuff. It depends on the genre of game, honestly. So obviously that's almost built for that experience. But back in the day, there was this game called Savage where one player out of the 64-player team or 32-player team or whatever it was, was the commander, and he had a view like an RTS.

He could literally put waypoints and select squads and direct people where to go and give them orders and commands and build structures and get level ups and upgrades. Only one player had that view. Everyone else had a first-person shooter view. And you would think that everyone wanted to be the commander, but believe it or not, most people didn't. They didn't want to be burdened with that role

because they wanted to play a shooter. They didn't want to play an RTS. That game had trouble doing well and finding an audience because of that problem. Maybe that's what happens. I think that's what my version of hell might be. I believe that about the afterlife and finding an audience because of that problem. Because of the lack of captains? Yeah. I think that's what my version of hell might be. I believe that about the afterlife.

If there is an afterlife and it is a perfect afterlife, then we'll each have our own unique versions of heaven and hell. And I can just imagine one where you just keep getting reincarnated as my company of heroes troops to be sent in to be eviscerated over and over again. Here's like one horrifying death after another and you just, ah, oh God, again?

Oh no, I got a flamethrower in my back this time. Ah, and you're just getting pulled into combat. Could be worse. Like at least your hero troops win sometimes, survive sometimes. Mine all die. All die. What I'd like to do is-

And also, they really question the leadership when they play under me. They're like, really? I'm a conscript. That's a tank and you want me to shoot it. I don't know why. Why am I shooting tanks with bullets? This is not working at all. I clicked on one of these social

eating streams and there are hundreds of people watching this chick just sit here and i guess she finished eating because there's no more eating and for the like three minutes i watched she didn't even speak really well you remember one of the most but one of the first viral youtube sensations was maggie bond right or is it maggie bond uh just M-A-G-I-B-O-N. You can search it because I'm sure her videos are still archived. She's this little Asian girl

and all she would do is sit there on screen for like five or six minutes and just go and smile and then that was it. And her videos would get millions of views. The easiest way to get a lot of views on YouTube is to be female and really beautiful. Yeah, and do it in 2005.

Because then it's gonna... Or I guess 2000, like... I don't even know how the algorithm on YouTube would be best optimized for... Is content uploaded in 2006 still getting a lot of views? I have no idea. Maybe some of it. I don't know.

I act like it's easy. I swear, if you're a really beautiful girl, you've got your own set of challenges too, right? She's going to be branded as a slut even if she's wearing a Hillary Clinton pantsuit. It's just the nature of being a pretty girl on the internet. Yeah. Sadly.

But I think it's funny. I'm talking to Joe Rogan last year and he was like, I sincerely believe it's just a phase. You know, it's a moment, it's sort of our transition period. And so, yes, you know, all of this discovered, newfound communication that nobody earned, but we're all just sort of fumbling our way through and with. It's 98% beautiful. It's 2% toxicity

and disgusting side effects and consequences but that's just the way it has to work before we can get to some place better I wonder if he still believes that it's a net good, undeniably but this notion that

the trolls will stop trolling on the internet new trolls are born every day it's a stage of adolescence you know when you give an idiot anonymity that's what he'll do you know it's not it's not about troll versus not troll it was more like in the example he gave that i love was it's it's more like a butterfly going into a cocoon doesn't know or sorry a caterpillar going into a cocoon doesn't know what's on the other side it doesn't know if there's not like butterfly support groups he's like oh yeah you're not like these these caterpillars are going to support groups and

they're going oh you're ready for butterfly them like it's not that that's not what he does all he knows is the next thing i do is i make this cocoon and then when he comes out of it it's something beautiful right so it's like this is almost the, we're in this grace period where we don't know what's going to happen next, but what happens next is only going to be because we went through this phase. And, you know, that may very well be less trolling, you know, that very well may be less toxicity in whatever it is beyond that way. I feel like I would have thought that too back in like 2011 when I was only a few years into this. I'm like seven years in now. It's not getting better. As a matter of fact, by far the most

popular like growth, where the explosion of growth in YouTube right now is, is cyber bully channels. Channels that will just pick someone and call him cringy or terrible or lame or disgusting or whatever. Yeah, YouTube's shutting that shit down though, right? I mean, they have to just catch up to it. They made a rule and they've done... I haven't seen it enforced once. How long does

it usually take them to act on those policies? I don't know. It's a notoriously bad thing, right? There is the whole Make YouTube Great Again campaign and everything. This is a perfect example of what I was talking about before, though, which is like, there are these companies that have

grown tremendously through just being in the right place at the right time. I don't want to discount YouTube for being innovating, and obviously they have a lot of hard workers and smart people that are building features in this site, but there is an element of that as soon as the invention was made, it was destined, the sheer demand for it was

going to be destined to just take control of the wheel and do its own thing. And so they're largely playing this reactive, the amount they have to react to these negative things is a testament to how little they actually architected and pre and because they didn't preempt these things they didn't pre-plan social architect you mean because i i think their technical architecting is pretty impressive you know every time i try to play a video it pretty much plays right well and but so i guess i guess really my point is that there's these policies in place and they've been notoriously slow because they haven't been proactive about... It's like anybody who works in hospitality will tell you, like anyone who works at a hotel, they'll tell you that 98% of their job is being proactive about service.

You need to be proactive about things such that a customer never has a reason to complain or feel like they had a problem. If a customer has to go to you to ask you to solve a problem, you've already failed, right? And so YouTube, it's like they haven't quite gotten to that level of proactivity yet. And so a lot of the problems

that face the YouTube community are reactive. Something grows and boils to this boiling over point and that's what it takes for YouTube to react to it. And so it has been notoriously slow, but they are, to their credit, reacting to those things. They're going to shut that shit down and I think over time the more we talk about these issues it'll become a less toxic place for sure. I was going to say

let me tell everyone a little bit about USA's Mr. Robot and then I want to talk about suicide some more. Don't let me forget. Today's episode is sponsored by the HitUSA Network show Mr. Robot. The riveting computer hacking drama is about to return for its second season. The Peabody award-winning show

follows a young cybersecurity engineer who becomes involved in the underground hacker group F-Society, who plans to take down the world's largest corporation. When their hack is successful, and the consequences are far greater than they imagined, Rolling Stone magazine held it the number one show of 2015, and the Huffington Post calls it brilliant.

Mr. Robot stars Golden Globe and SAG Award nominee Rami Malek, Golden Globe Award winner Christian Slater, and let's see, it's coming out July 13th. Yeah, so make sure to tune in Wednesday, July 13th at 10, 9 Central, only on USA Network. Remember to

be sure to check out season two of Mr. Robot on Wednesday, July 13th at 10 9 central only on the USA Network. Tweet using the hashtag Mr. Robot while you're watching the show. Is it that hard to read your screen? It's because there's a camera like right in the middle of my screen. Oh, I see. So you don't want that above angle. You try to prevent that. Well, I never really considered it

to be honest. I just got it on a tripod because I like to be able to completely get that out of the way and I also like a lot of control over the camera and the setup is like really jumbled right now. There's a monitor on the ground. My new PC's here. My old PC's there. The older, older PC is under the table.

I got a lot of stuff to move around. I ripped the GPU out of this thing three times in my lap yesterday while I was talking to Chiz. There's tools and shit everywhere. Very upsetting. I was going back to suicide. How would you kill yourself after you lose your penis, Woody?

I would take my paramotor because I'm 100% sure I can launch it. Landing it, we'll figure it out. But I'm launching it, I've got that licked. Or not. And I'll go up to like 18,000 feet and land in a thing. I don't know.

Do you want to skydive into a volcano or just the ground? Or maybe the water? Definitely not a volcano. I don't want to hit that meniscus and kind of like bounce off a tiny bit as my entire left side of skin evaporates.

Yeah, as it's just like boom! And then you sit there and you slowly sink in. Did you see Gollum die? There should be an impact. He's going to be moving pretty fast though. 18,000 feet. It'll be painful. He's going 150 be moving pretty fast, though. 18,000 feet. It'll be painful.

He's going 150 miles per hour when he hits the lava. Yeah, and it's going to suck for a little, like... 150! 150 miles per hour. I think you're still looking at, like, at least five or six seconds of solid... No way. You go... Woody's going to be head first like a goddamn bullet.

He rises. First of all, there's not a fucking prayer that Woody gets going 150 miles an hour in that parachute. No, no, no, no. You miss the terminal velocity for a human bus. You're just gonna go up and then drop. Unbuckle. Swan dive. You know what?

Seeing, you know, knowing the precarious situation the sky often has with wind, I would see you getting up above a volcano, releasing yourself from it, and then you kind of just blow 20 yards north, and you just kind of hit the side of the volcano. Wouldn't you die then anyway? Bounce down. Yeah.

What if I just went to like... Paralyzed, trying to claw your way back up. What if you just flew around New York City? You know, buzzed, waved to people, the skyscrapers, went to the top. That's shooting you down right away. I wonder. I wonder what people would do if they saw a paramotor. Like I swear, like they're just not that threatening, right? Like if I flew around in a plane, they'd be like, oh, shucks, take that thing down.

If you fly around with a fan on your back and a parachute over your head, will they think you're lost or confused? They're going to do more than shake their fist at you, I guarantee it. I like to believe that there's some gun batteries on the Empire State Building. They'll turn those on you. Maybe some 20-millimeter cannons or something. I wonder if they do have defense systems. They should, but I'm sure they don't, right?

I guess we're relying on the Air Force or maybe something like that. We don't want to shoot the other buildings in the area. Pussies. That is what would happen. I definitely would not use a paramotor as my ticket out. That's where the planes are.

Alright, you know, you can't just be against things. You have to be for something better. I was for something better. Carbon monoxide. It's a tried and true method that I've seen in multiple movies and television programs. But people survive it too.

Only when you're rescued. Then you're like brain dead for a really long, long time. Yeah, the last thing you can do... Also known as dead. Yeah, the last thing you brain dead. Or just regular dead. Going brain dead is even better, because then all those people that you didn't really like anyway

have to look after you and keep you alive forever. The last thing you want... The last thing you want is a failed gunshot wound, where you're just, from that day forward, Mr. No Lower Jaw. Yeah, just like like you're still alive and you have to just...

Oh, I used to not think I had much to live for. But every day now is a little brighter. The only job you can get hired for is warning high school students about the dangers of suicide. Yeah, you have to lie to Big Tobacco and say it was because of

Chud. This is definitely not because of that Remington 870. It was because of Skull Wintergreen Pouches made available to children. Like, just... I think I've told this story a couple times,

but there was a guy like that in my hometown. I don't know where he is now. Maybe he actually passed away by now, but he shot himself in the head over some woman, and the bullet took out his eye socket, like that area. So now his face is just ruined, and he has to wear an eye patch. That's the thing. Even if your aim is right and true,

as soon as the bullet hits something, it's going to fragment. Pieces are going to go in different directions. It could alter the direction of the bullet and the trajectory of the bullet. So, yeah, it's nothing to fuck around with. And what they say is a common thing for shooting yourself, apparently. I don't know if this is a real fact or if I saw it on CSI. But you put your gun too far forward on your head, and you just end up blowing through your eyes

basically and you just blind yourself and what it is is if you think about the trigger to a deer once that there's a if if you ever spend any time at the range um there there if you if you have if you hook the trigger too much with your finger and you don't just pull with the with the pad of the finger obviously i think you guys are all uh we're all done guys right so you know that you'll pull your shot will pull to the right well it's the same thing with the head. In that last moment, you squeeze and flinch and you pull your whole muzzle that way and then you just take out an eye. What you need to do is be like that

guy who made the suicide helmet with the nine shotgun shells that would all simultaneously go into his head. You mean the guy from Saw? Yeah, you want to turn suicide into an arts and crafts project first. Put it on Pinterest. Sounds like something out of the Saw trilogy. It is something out of the Saw trilogy. No, it's not first. Put it on Pinterest. Sounds like something out of Saw Trilogy. It is something out of Saw Trilogy.

No, it's not. Well, it is, actually. They did a thing like that. But Google Suicide Helmet or Suicide Shotgun Helmet. Something like that. You'll see it. It's very ingenious, the way he designed the thing. He had some inoperable brain tumor,

something like that. He wanted to make sure there weren't any bullets deflecting off his skull or anything like that, I suppose. I think it's nine shotgun shells into his head at once or something like that. Maybe not shotgun shells. Probably the funnest way to kill yourself would just be alcoholism.

Like, I don't know. Over the course of decades. I'm not showing this to people. Actually, I'm sure that gets to be not fun at all. You're not going to show it to people? Dude, I'm like, I don't know what it is about this helmet that creeps me out, but I feel like it'd get me age restricted. Like something else.

Link it in the chat. Yeah, show the group here. It's not like, it's not that bad, but like. If you dare. Yeah, I just. Looks like a Pokemon. What is that? I don't want my IP address to be on the visitor log for the site.

I feel like you're sending me to some hostile network where... You don't know Imgur? Imgur? All right. So, yeah, my brother-in-law shadowed a coroner for a few weeks and showed him this strange contraption from the case of a 40-plus-year-old. Apparently, a young man constructed a suicide helmet that fired eight shotgun shells into his head simultaneously.

Oh, I'm sorry. The case was 40 years old. I didn't read it very well. And, yes, this guy built a suicide helmet, fired eight shotgun shells into his head at once. But that is really overkill because if you're going to affix the device, believe me, one shell would be a trick.

That guy really overestimated his toughness. He's buckshot. What is that? A third of an inch ball bearings that he basically fired out of there? It is. Lead ball. Yeah, exactly right.

I bet he died. Yeah, and the people that lived in all the buildings next door to him. In every direction. They got their TVs ruined. That's serious overkill because a shotgun is already overkill. Poor and ingenious guy, though.

I think he had a brain tumor or something. Did you do happen to do it? I think carbon monoxide. I think that's the actual... No suicide helmet for you? No. No. Fair enough.

So the iPhone 7 is completely underwhelming the whole world. No one gives a crap about it. I didn't know they released anything about it. They didn't, but there's leaks. It's pretty well defined. What happens is the leaks get really reliable. Like parts start leaking. Of course, the case starts leaking.

And the case can tell you a lot. Like, you know, did the double camera thing come true? Did the double speaker thing and no headphone jack come true? And pretty much it's an speaker thing and no headphone jack come true? Pretty much, it's an iPhone 6 without the headphone jack. It's supposed to have a better camera, the front-facing one,

not the one you take pictures with, as opposed to the selfie one. That is not going to do well at all. No. Dude, Apple knows its shit. Apple is ordering fewer parts from their suppliers. Everyone is underwhelmed

by it. I don't want to say hates it. You know when you go from the iPhone 5 to the iPhone 5S and it's like, oh yeah, this is an off year. I think what they're doing is they're doubling up on their off years and then they'll go from the

7 to the 8 as opposed to 7s and that'll be their 10 year anniversary iphone that is going to be like the memorable one oh that makes sense well then that that doesn't make sense shady of an outlook for the company then now that now that you say that because it sounds like they've got a new phone and in the works they They've probably got big ideas. But it's like, well, the 10th anniversary is coming out. What are we going to do? Release this big blockbuster thing that's sort of a new form factor now? Or why don't we just wait another year or two and it could be bigger?

Kind of. I just feel like Apple used to be the innovator in this. Everyone would have to catch up to them. And then over the last couple of years. No, that was never the case. Oh, it was never the case. They literally like... It was like the iPhone versus the Trio.

Since the iPhone 1, that really was never the case. And even the iPhone 1 was not the first smartphone. Yeah, I had smartphones before the iPhone and they were shit. What Apple's really, really good at is they're really good at letting other people be the first man through the breach. They let them get bloodied, and then they perfect the technology and make it – they put a shiny polished veneer on it. They make it that just looks sleek and sexy, and it feels good. It has the right amount of weight. Kyle, you were talking about your mouse has the right amount of weight.

These iPhones, they don't feel like cheap plastic like the Galaxies do. They refine and perfect the overall user experience. And so they're usually almost, you know, always six months to 12 months to 18 months lagging behind whatever the innovation is. There are a few exceptions. I'll tell you why I disagree. I think what you're saying is pretty on target for like 2012 or something. Like that was the state of affairs. If you go back earlier, smartphones were all about the hardware. You know, it was, does it have the rolly bar? Does it, how powerful is it?

What kind of RAM does it have? How many megapixels are in the camera? And Apple is the first one to turn it into a platform, a one to make it really software based, right? The Apple was the people who made it so that they opened up the API and everyone else was able to start putting apps on it. Prior to them doing that, these things weren't even that interesting. And then suddenly they became the center of your life because you're like a, I don't know, crazy beer fanatic. And now you can find places that sell it.

Then when they opened up the API and made it software based. So Apple had a hard time penetrating, I think it was the Japanese market, because the consumers were still looking at hardware specs when they're trying to figure out which phones are good. And Apple didn't win, right? The iPhones didn't really dominate in the hardware specs. But it was only the people who owned them and saw what it was to be in an ecosystem. Now, since then, Google has caught up a whole lot and their ecosystems improved. But that's where Apple really changed the game. Apple's always won on the software side even their OS has always been better, maybe not for gamers

but their OS has always been better than Windows the software is just where Apple's been and yeah, so for a long time their hardware, I mean that's why their hardware was lagging behind a lot, right? The iPod helped them a lot transitioning into gadgets, into the hardware technology side of

things. But I think that they, yeah, they've always been lagging behind on the hardware side. But I agree that on the platform side, on the software side, they've always been about making that experience. And that was the thing you said about until people experience it. That's the exact, that's the perfect way to say it. Because like all my friends who have made the switch finally, you know, we'd always be at each other's throats on social media or just, you know, jabbing each other at parties about, oh, you're Android, you're Apple. But it's like once they get an iPhone and they have a MacBook and they have an Apple router and an Apple TV and it's just seamless and easy to just get your video up on that device or to back up your entire hard drive in real time and just behind the scenes and everything just works and you plug in a printer and it just works.

Once people get that experience, they realize that's amazing. They can pull an email they were writing on this device on the laptop and just pull it over to their phone and walk out the door and finish the email on the train. But I don't agree. I don't think Apple has always lagged in the hardware though, right? Like Apple was leading in the hardware when they did their early stuff. Their screens were better. Their screens were brighter, right?

The early Android stuff wasn't better than the, what at this point was the several years in Apple stuff. And then somewhere around like 2012, it was like, all right, the specs aren't as good, but the overall experience is still competitive. Now, like with this new one coming out, it's like, really? So we're going to go two years in a row

without really stepping up our game. It's disappointing to me. And I don't think 10-year anniversary is a good reason to throw away a a year the advantages that apple always had were were obviously screens right because they've been doing laptops and they've been doing screens since forever so like that that was an area where absolutely they've been innovating with their retina displays um but and yes and now samsung and htc have caught up um But yeah, in general, their hardware, and their hardware has never really been

the key selling point of their devices. If you watch any keynote, they eventually get to some of the specs of the phone, but not all of them. And they're always about the experience first, and they're always about what it is to, what it's like to feel, what it feels like to be an Apple customer,

an iPhone user. I don't know if it's interesting to everyone, but it's interesting to me that Apple, I don't know, it's like they're not trying or they've stopped their ability to try or something. Because you say very impressive company. I say, yeah, the greatest company of 2013. They genuinely lost Steve Jobs. And a lot of that was him. A lot of the long-term visionary leadership was him.

And I still give a lot of credit to Tim Cook. Obviously, he was the hand-selected successor by Steve Jobs, so obviously he believed in him in a lot of ways. But also I think that people are expecting Tim Cook to replace Steve Jobs. And what they don't realize is that Tim Cook's going to be a different kind of leader. And Steve Jobs, he was the phone and the music guy, right? And so I think when you look at Tim Cook, he's not going to be as revolutionary in the phone and the mobility space necessarily. He might be looking more towards the living room, might be looking more towards the car, might be looking more towards AI. might be looking more towards ai and so those are probably still a ways out before you start to really truly see that wow moment but you know i

wouldn't be surprised if he invents something in the living room maybe centered around the apple tv where it blows our minds in the way that the iphone better be soon because all he's done so far is lose momentum you know and i know there's some Apple car project that's out there floundering, not doing shit. You don't get 15 years to make a car. You know, like, fuck off, right? Apple does. No, they don't. He'll be fired.

$200 billion in the bank. Dude, Tesla is the Apple of cars, right? Tesla can pre-announce a car. I think they replaced, they passed someone for like ninth biggest automaker yeah they're like vw or something like that that's incredible yes yeah don't don't i'm never gonna get into a war i mean elon musk is one of the last truly uh visionary leaders of on our planet so like i'm not at all gonna put one above the other i respect the shit out of both those companies um but i just think that they're playing... Tim Cook is playing a different

game with Apple than Steve Jobs was. And he's aware that the iPhone is... It's a different product life cycle. It's almost on autopilot. And that's okay. And I think he's okay with that. I think we'll be eating our words. Those of us judging him too harshly and too critically now will be eating our words two to five years from now. I might fire him next year.

Consistently losing ground to Android as far as total users. Their phone's consistently losing ground. The iPod is just as a, I don't know about competitive market, but the whole market is fading away. Is that true though? Yeah, it's true. I didn't know about competitive market but the whole market is fading away right people don't buy iPods yeah yeah it's true it's true again that's and their computers are losing ground and they've stopped release the people who know Apple stuff know like the release cycles and like all right you know this computer's been out for a year and a half don't buy it there's a new one coming that's the case of almost everything they make. Like if they have like 10 different computer brand lines,

nine of them are don't buy right now. You know, they're just too fucking old. And some of them in an extreme case, like the Mac pro, the one I'd be most interested in, it's been over 900 days since they came out with one. It's the longest it's ever taken in the history of that product line.

Yeah. And that's not a good time to buy. Almost. And I could good time to buy. Almost. Apple is suffering to deliver fucking anything worse than they can since before Jobs was hired. The Apple TV is doing well, I'm sure. And it's a really nice interface. I think that controller has like three buttons on it,

but it gets everything done. That's been my favorite Apple product that I've ever used was that fucking apple tv yeah i prefer the android phone by and large the reliability seems to stink though i've been through so many of these motherfuckers um but i don't know they're 200 a pop so i'm amazed at my own phone six my criticism is the seven gives me no reason to buy it you know i think i'm gonna hold on to my six until the 10 year anniversary one. I guess the removal of the headphone jack makes the phone slimmer

and makes it more waterproof. I think those are the two advantages. But you're really losing a lot there as you said the other day. Like everything from the credit card scanner, scanning technologies to just listening to music on your iPhone. It's kind of not there anymore.

And all the peripherals that go along with it, it's a whole market of stuff that you're turning off. Well, just remember from a business standpoint, there's going to be a bunch of now dongles that they're going to be selling. So if you wanted to plug your auxiliary thing into your car, you're going to need a dongle that plugs into the auxiliary port of your car,

and then it connects via Bluetooth to the headphone jack. Those credit card readers, same thing. They can now send out new credit card readers that either just use the RFID or that are scanners that are connected via Bluetooth now. So it opens up more revenue streams for Apple from a business standpoint. I could rephrase that. Just remember, we can eke another $30 out of fucked over unhappy customers. And again, the critics of Apple will always say that, right?

But Apple people don't, it's never really been a prohibitive thing. I'm an Apple person. The perceived value add on that. The other thing about your phone is the iPhone 7 that maybe you're discounting is it will do something on the software level that your iPhone 6S can't do. Just like the iPhone 6, which is what I have, I skipped the 6S lifecycle. The only way Hey Siri works for me is if I have it plugged into the charging port.

On iPhone 6S, you can Hey Siri at any time and it'll come on. And so, I'm assuming that the iPhone 7 is going to, and the iPhone 7 Plus, will have some feature that, in the OS, that won't work on the other phones, right? Which is going to, and not just one feature, but many, that is going to drive a lot of interest. Like, I still don't know why

I can't have a YouTube player play, a YouTube video playing picture-in-picture while I'm on my home screen flipping out and switching through other apps. I can't have a YouTube video playing picture and picture while I'm on my home screen flipping out and switching through other apps. I don't know why that's not possible yet on iOS, and I bet that will be one of the things that is possible. It's not? I thought that was a feature on YouTube Red. Maybe it's a feature on YouTube Red,

but I don't know. You have to pay for that. So, again, that's what I expect will be maybe possible with the iPhone 7, is having a whole app running picture and picture, and that's not possible on will be maybe possible with the iPhone 7 is having a whole app running picture-in-picture and that's not possible on iPhone 6, right? I think on the iOS level, they're going to be able to supplement a lot of that feature set. So YouTube owns, so it used to be Apple owned the YouTube app and they kind of did

a shit job at it. So now YouTube writes the YouTube app and I guess it got better. I couldn't detail to you in what ways it got better. But one of the things that's happened is they've introduced YouTube Red. And if you're a YouTube Red guy, you get features that regular Apple people don't. Like, I know that it's popular in Painkiller already. I can see the analytics. And it makes sense because people who watch a four-hour podcast might want to be able

to go to other apps. And YouTube Red lets them do that. So, yeah, anyway, that's one of the side effects, I guess, of YouTube owning their own app. But it also got better. I don't know how, but it does more shit. So, I don't know. I just thought it was interesting.

I'm kind of, like, as an, I am an Apple guy. This is a PC. I do both, but I like Apple. I check Mac rumors several times a week. Oh, you didn't build an Apple machine to edit your HD video and play games at high frame rates? Why not? Dude, that one I talked about that's like 900 days old, that would be my editing station. And I'm like, I'm not going to buy into some Apple editing station that was last

updated 2012 or 13 something like that like just fuck it no like you know what am I an idiot and if you look at it Shucks I'll show it to everybody so it's let me see here if you go here it can show you I'm gonna keep waiting for Taylor to come back oh yeah I've used that before yeah so let's look at how often they update this stuff right and look at where they are right now right so it's like you know the first ones 240 days to 84 256 85 a little quicker at 556 and now 925 days since the last update like that macbook pro right

yes that's the are they maybe gonna merge two lines together or are they gonna discontinue one at this point you ask yourself like are they even in this business anymore like who who makes computers from here it is, December of 2013 and, and like still runs on 2013 pro. Yeah. Yeah. And if you go to the very top of this page, it'll like show you where the different product lines are.

And so the Mac book got updated two months ago. The Mac book pro last is 1480 days. Well that you gotta be careful. Cause that's, there's a retina Mac book pro that's, that's updated more commonly. But macbook pro that's that's updated more commonly but if you just what would you do i don't know the retina macbook pro which is kind of the one they keep current it's still 408 days old which is pretty wild like and if you

look at the update schedule on that you see like they don't even let it go a year you know 250 280 and then all of a sudden it hits 400 like you were you were defending um tim cook i look at shit like this like they are just failing on the hardware front all over the place this they're not able to deliver new stuff i don't know what their problem is but like well again i i think i just think it might be a little bit of a mistake to think that that's to think that it's not intentional right like what if there's a reason that they're not updating those things as often

as you would want I mean you were kind of just criticizing the iPhone being updated too often and not having enough innovations right no not at all I was saying the iPhone is making a mistake by going two years of shit. They do the 7, the 7S, the 8, the 8S. Don't go 6, 6S, 6T, and then 7. That's my problem. look, this iPhone 7 is really not being updated.

That's my issue with them. And here looking at their hardware product line, it's crap too. So at least in the computer. I don't know, maybe their peripherals, they're doing a little better. Well, again, I have the last Retina MacBook Pro, so the one from 2015.

And it's, boy, it's wonderful. I think I got mine in January 2015. And it's, boy, it's wonderful. I think I got mine in January 2015. And it's the one I'm Skyping on right now. It's blazing fast. It really has no issues. You know, it's almost like, it's hard to fix what's not broken. And again, I think that they probably do, especially in the MacBook Pro arena, they probably, I wouldn't be surprised if we don't see an update at the next Apple event. But I think that, you know, they've been focused on other areas. I think rather than rather than being focused on the bleeding edge and on the on the early adopters who buy these products. If you look at the products that they have been updating and coming in and innovating with the new MacBook, They've been focusing more on the middle, the people who want to come into the Apple ecosystem but don't want to come in at the upper echelon product

like a MacBook Pro or a Mac Pro. They had the point in their company lifecycle where they were fueled almost exclusively by early adopters and almost exclusively by the fanboy. And their whole strategy has been just come much more mainstream. And a lot of that's been on the shoulders of the iPhone. And so, you know, all these other products they've been releasing, like the watch, you know, it all comes back to ultimately, you know,

shipping more iPhones and connecting to the iPhone user. And watch isn't doing too well, I don't think either. No, that's probably one of the only Apple products that I can think of that I truly just don't like. I don't want that. It's too thick. It sits off your wrist too much. For what it's worth, the crash they've had in their stock has dropped them down to 2012 levels.

Wow. Well, hang on. Where was it before Brexit? Because I think that's taken the wind out of a lot of sales globally, right? Especially a global company like Apple. So I'm trying to think.

Brexit was when? A week ago? Yeah, still below 2012 levels. Okay, never mind then. I just thought I'd throw that out there. Never mind. Maybe last week they were mediocre, but not terrible. But this week they're a little bit lower.

I guess that Brexit thing was pretty interesting. It's been fun to watch the ramifications of that. It's been fun. I'm really trying to learn more about it now like last week we talked about brexit and we like it was honestly sorry my computer totally crashed i'm just jumping back in so i'm sorry if i mulch over the same shit you just talked about but no we haven't just changed okay it basically happened as the show was going on and so we just picked sides based on like a team sport like so i immediately picked leave's what a lot of people were doing.

I'll go with the blue guys. When Leave started winning towards the end, I started thinking, well, I'm always an underdog kind of guy, so now I'm pulling for Remain a little bit because I didn't really care or know. And then basically all my research has been looking at YouTube videos. Like I watched the whole Brexit documentary that's on youtube and obviously that was for the side of we need to get the hell out of the eu and i tried finding other shit like

the the other side didn't have a documentary so that you didn't have a youtube documentary so that definitely hindered your progress there but i i think based on my limited knowledge it made more sense to leave and dude can we watch a video together? Vox did one in two minutes that I thought educated people really well. To me, it's pretty non-biased. From Fox? No, Vox. Oh, Vox.

I was going to say Fox being unbiased. Yeah, I hear you. I would never say that. But yeah, this is Vox and it's got a couple million views. Are you guys ready? Yes. Ready, set, play. Voters in the United Kingdom have voted to leave the European Union. I hope this victory brings down this failed project and leads us to a Europe of sovereign nation states. It's a major blow to European political and economic integration and a huge embarrassment

for British Prime Minister David Cameron. Who called for the referendum. Who originally proposed it. Britain is better off inside the EU than out on our own. At the heart of that is the single market. 500 million customers on our doorstep. A source of so many jobs, so much trade, and such a wealth of opportunity for our young people. Britain's exit, or the Brexit as it's called, will have huge implications for the British economy. The EU functions as a single integrated economy, kind of like the United States.

And now that Britain is out, regulations could make it harder to kind of like the United States. And now that it's out, regulations could make it harder to move goods across the English Channel. Lots of multinational corporations have their headquarters in London, but now they might find that it makes more sense to have their European headquarters in the European Union, which could lead to job losses in Britain. The EU also allows for the free movement of people within its member states, which means that any EU citizen can live and work in any other EU country without a visa. And the UK's high employment rate has drawn migrants from poorer countries in the EU, like Poland and Lithuania.

But many in Britain resent these migrants, and that resentment was a key driving force in the decision for Britain to leave the European Union. So now that Britain's out, nobody really knows what's going to happen to all those EU migrants. So what comes next? A long negotiation between the UK and the EU's member states, where they have to hash out issues like trade, tariffs, agriculture, immigration, and a whole host of other issues. Nobody really knows what this means for the other EU countries. They could rally together and push for even more integration. and a whole host of other issues. Nobody really knows what this means for the other EU countries. They could rally together and push for even more integration.

Or some countries could look at Britain and say, we should get out too. But one thing is clear. Britain's exit is a huge blow to the dream of a united Europe. Well, I guess they didn't really want to present the other side of it. I guess not. I remembered it being pretty unbiased. I don't know anymore. I mean i it's vox i don't really i'm not familiar with vox uh well they definitely

lean left okay yeah but but everything they're saying is true and i also i've also heard the other side and i empathize with the idea of uh the idea of having a nation sovereignty and not every not every nation is like the US where we signed up to take your your poor and your you know your your homeless yeah like we're not that's that's not what every other nation was found on and I get that but what I'll say is everything in the box thing was true and the long-term negatives are just profound. Just

thinking about the trade, right? What other European nations are going to even want to trade with Britain anymore now that they're sort of... People who might be interested in the fourth or fifth largest country in the planet. Okay, go ahead, Kyle.

The British Empire has lasted for 1,500, 1,800 years or something like that. The EU is 50 years old. The UK has only been in it for 20 years or something like that. Everybody's acting like, oh my god, something has happened like never before.

It's like, no. There are marriages that are older than their relationship with the EU. Everything's going to balance because you've got a free market. What is marriage older than the European Union? The big problem is that things have just changed. So back before when they were

this independent empire for thousands of years that was that was when everyone wanted to work with them and and now this moment has changed everything because now no one wants to work with them and they still do though because they they want to trade with the united kingdom uh i mean are they going to suddenly switch and be like oh well all that all those goods and services that we were garnering from the United Kingdom, now we're just going to get from Estonia. Now there's a negotiation because it's more

of a free market. Instead of a bunch of guys in Brussels or in France, because I think they move the headquarters around to appease certain nations or something like that with the EU, which is a bunch of bullshit. Now there's going to be a negotiation. Now you don't have to be under the yoke of some bureaucrats

across the English Channel. We would hate that, right? Let me take a turn. If one of our main economic policies was ever dictated by some guys in Mexico or Canada, we wouldn't like that. I feel like everyone pretending to know whether it's a good idea or not, like, dude, you don't have the data yet. You know, for all we know,

UK could hammer out a trade deal with the EU that has like all the positives of being in it without the negatives, right? They still want to trade with the UK. They might be mad at them today because they just left. But this process takes over a year. And they might be like, you know what? Let's just keep the open borders, you know year and they might be like you know what let's just keep the open borders you know maybe it'll be a good thing and then they don't have say the immigration

issues that they didn't like so much and uh and they don't have to pay into the eu as much as they did before or anything who knows like we just don't know what the terms of the deal are going to be yet we're already figuring out whether it's a good or bad deal and that seems crazy to me i just like there's gonna be a negotiation right after the uh right after this happened and of course a little bit of instability causes markets to fluctuate everybody already acted like on twitter like oh my god the uk is crumbling look at the you know take note of this of where you are because our world superpower is no more. And it's like, oh, my God, chill the fuck out. The UK is going to be fine. It's going to be okay.

It's going to bounce back. I saw people on the other side of the aisle two days ago posting stuff like, oh, look at that. It's already bounced back higher than it was. I didn't look into it that much, so I don't know if that's true. Well, our markets have rebounded very – like we took a big hit the day of, but they've rebounded quite a bit in the past few days. And that's to be expected, though. This is a long burn. Who knows how to expect the markets? Fuck, I had a thing. God, I can never get it.

Yeah, I don't know. Something about Obama? Yeah, thank you, Kyle. When Obama first got elected, the markets were also doing a real fluctuating thing. You remember he came in in one of these awful economies that people don't remember. There were McCain and Obama suspended campaigns and had to hammer out those big bank rescue deals and shit like that. So when he got elected, the right in particular used to use the stock market as like a real-time, what do they call that popularity poll that they do? The favorability poll or whatever, right?

Approval. Approval ratings, right? They would act like the stock market was Obama approval ratings. And they fucking loved it because he jumped in in a terrible market and they're like, market's down 75 points again today, fucking Obama and they just like day after day after day and then when the jobs started coming in and the

market started doubling again and again they stopped using that metric to measure his performance. Well yeah, of course both sides are always going to use the least favorable conceivable thing to replace their opponents opponents i'm just like hey i've seen this before where they use the stock market as a real-time barometer of people's feelings on this or that and it's like stop it it's a style yeah it's manipulative what what i didn't like and what really kind of

convinced me more on the leave side was i really didn't like all of the stories and shit they were showing of local businesses and local like blue-collar workers in the uk who were having their jobs their businesses ruined because of uk or eu bureaucratic red tape that you have to crawl through and it's actively hindering your ability to start a successful business, and then it's propping up shitty businesses by imposing tariffs on countries that are providing better goods for less cost. It just seems like on a

moral level of like, yeah, they should be able to just dictate their own terms, they should be able to have their own fucking country where they decide their shit, and maybe I'm totally wrong, and that's just emotional, but it feels right that you know yeah that isn't fair they shouldn't have a fucking government that they didn't really choose hundreds of miles away which in europe is like thousands of miles here i think i'm making

decisions i think i'm on the leave side who knows uh but there were two powerful arguments for me um one was like in the last 15 years, Europe is the only continent not to experience growth. And in my head, I'm like, man, how many decades do you need to let an experiment go before you look at the results? Asia's growing, America's growing, Africa's growing. It was actually two. Europe and Antarctica are the only countries that haven't experienced growth in the last 15 years. And I'm like, huh. So if I was the UK, is that the country that I'd want to be handcuffed to as we head out and compete? And the other thing was, and I don't know how common this was because I was listening to some guy who was obviously in favor of one side.

But he said that a lot of the EU officials that were there were people who just got kicked out of British politics. So, you know, everyone grabs their torches and pitchforks, fires their politician by voting him out, and then now he's in the EU still ruling your country. And you're like,

ah, this is a terrible system. I hate being ruled by someone I just fired. So, there you have it. Let's change topics but keep it in the world of international affairs and talk about these Rio Olympics because this video that she has just linked is hilarious. It looks like it's about

the Rio Olympics. I think it's Stephen Colbert talking for a minute or two about what's going on. This thing is really going to be a global disaster. A disaster on a global stage. yeah yeah so global scale is it exactly 109 110 we're gonna starts at 109 110 mines paused at 111 I'm yeah I have it to me too all right are we ready yep ready set play yo games they are less than two months away or never because just yesterday Ready, set, play.

Wow. The Olympics are in real trouble. Many of the venues are still unfinished, possibly because more than $10 billion in construction contracts went to just five firms, all of which are currently under investigation for price fixing and kickbacks. This has already led to top executives being jailed or charged, though on the plus side for those executives, the prison cell was completed until 2036. Plus... those executives the prison until 2036 plus plus Brazil is one of the highest violent crime rates in the world which led Rivaldo a former member of Brazil's Olympic soccer team to warn tourists to

quote stay in their country of origin because here you'll find the risk of your life leading to brazil's newest tourist slogan brazil come for the sport stay because you're dead but but experts experts don't expect an increase in arrests during the olympics in part because police patrols may grind to a halt because they can't be true. Yeah, that can't be true. Gas is cheap. where police held a sign that read, Welcome to Hell. Yes, hell explains why they're changing the Olympic logo from three people holding hands to two guys mugging the other guy. But corruption and crime aren't the only things plaguing the Olympics.

There's also actual plague. Because fear over the Zika virus, which can cause birth defects, has led some athletes to stay home and others to take special precautions like freezing their sperm. What's going on in there? Don't open the door. I'm training for the Olympics. That's probably near the end of that. You're training all the time. Of course, athletes could always hide from mosquitoes underwater,

but I wouldn't recommend Guanabara Bay where the boating eventsARA BAY, WHERE THE BOATING EVENTS WILL BE HELD, BECAUSE THIS IS AN ACTUAL PHOTO OF THE RACE SITE. NOW, OKAY, THAT DOESN'T LOOK GOOD, BUT ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, IF BRAZIL DOESN'T FINISH THE ATHLETES' DORMS IN TIME, I THINK THAT COUCH IS A FOLD-OUT. AND IT GETS WORSE, BECAUSE RESEARCHERS JUST FOUND DRUG-RESISTANT SUPER BACTERIA IN THE BAY, LEADING ONE BRAZILIAN PROFESSOR TO SAY,

THESE BACTERIA SHOULD NOT BE PRESENT IN THESE WATERS. THEY SHOULD NOT BE PRESENT IN THE WATERS. just found drug resistant super bacteria in the bay leading one Brazilian professor to say these bacteria should not be present in these waters, they should not be present in the sea. Now I would say no shit but I think in this case quite the opposite is true. But it's not. Oh. It took me a while to catch on to the no shit thing. Yeah, the no shit. Yeah. Should we keep going? I think it's about done.

Should we keep going? I think it's about done. But it's not just humans whose lives are at risk in Rio. So much has been made out of what a story Rio is. I can't tell if it's just like the hip thing to bully Rio or if it's that bad. And it almost seems like what really is going to matter is the coverage they give it in real time. Like if NBC is just like, you know what? Actually, the drywall's not painted, but it's actually pretty nice.

I like unpainted drywall in the dorms. Or if they just completely ignore all the problems people are having and do sappy stories about how this rower's mom got divorced. They're totally going to embrace the bad shit because nobody's going to click on some bait article that says six reasons why Rio was better than expected. Like nobody's going to click that. It's going to be like you won't believe what Michael Phelps found in his vitamin water. Like silly stuff like that. silly stuff like that just i don't know anytime the olympics is held in a country that we're not like directly buddy buddy with it's it seems like we always rip on it and maybe that's because

the the countries that we're not really buddy buddy with have shittier places to have the olympics i don't know like i uh i'm really looking forward to seeing the failure the failure that this thing is going to be it is going to be a failure there are going to be rapes murders assaults disease um kid maybe a kidnapping or two um facilities are not done and it's months away the facilities are obviously not going to be proper or finished but what i really hope that i get to see and reddit will be great for this because it's not going to be like the photos they put on cnn it's going to be like a dude like me out there going, uh-uh, here's what it looks like. And you're going to see those world-class rowers out there

in the algae with the diapers floating. They've got nose pantry. They're putting Vicks under their nose to cancel the smell of the water they're rowing in. It's going to be good. I didn't even think about the social media aspect, right? I'm sitting here saying, it really matters where NBC points the cameras.

No, it doesn't. Kyle's right. The athletes too. Yeah. I mean, dude, you can't stop soldiers from wearing GoPros in battles with ISIS. You know, you think you're going to keep the Rio a secret? Uh-uh.

We're going to know exactly what it's like. It's going to be on everyone's Facebook feed. Wow, how cool. We should just sit out of the 2016 Olympics, and when 2020 comes around, we will clean up because we will not have any sick individuals with shrunken heads or horrible maladaptive tumors growing because of that nasty water. I say we just let other countries have some gold, and we're going to clean up in 2020.

We can send our over-25 crew, right? Because they were going to be 29 anyway at the best. Phelps just made his fifth. Exactly. Send Phelps. He's not going for six! It's his last year! Use him up! He'll swim in that water!

He's like, you guys aren't swimming, I am! I'm adding another few medals! He'd be swimming in that diaper water, he don't care. He would. Yeah, because this is his last chance. After this, he's got a long career of, what, like, pimping five hour energy or something? Like, what's he gonna do? I guess he's he's got it at this point right look at all that puity's money i wonder what

yeah he's probably loaded i don't know i i would he had subway for a long time yeah i feel like he he's gonna he could be a motivational speaker like like when he's got he's got a big enough name and a wholesome enough character aside from the marijuana which nobody gives a shit about that like he can do whatever he wants at this point. He can go give motivational speeches. He can get, I don't know, whatever the top collegiate swimming team is. He could easily just

walk in there and be the coach of that and make some enormous well, I don't know what they pay those guys. I know in college football they make a bundle, but what do swim coaches make? Go faster! I don't know. Right? Kick! Kick harder.

Harder! I want you to go out there and swim through that water like it owes you money. You guys are funny because you can't really hear your coach in swimming. You can't hear him at all. You're just constantly like, you got to go faster. You got to open your feet. Not even that. You can't hear a fucking.

The splashing is actually really loud in your ears, and that's all that you hear. There's, if you swim a longer event, there's like a lane marker. They hold that. Like, so you see when, like, I forget how many laps a 1650 is, but whatever. Like, pick a long one, and they'll hold this thing down. You're like, you lap 13, lap 15, lap 17, et cetera. hold this thing down. You're like, you lap 13, lap 15, lap 17, etc. It's incredible how

bad humans are at, like, even the best of the best swimmers in the world are being coached by people walking only a little briskly next to the pool. Sometimes they have to slow down to a calm saunter to make sure that

they don't pull out ahead of the pack. It's just the people on the side the pack as they're like, it's just the people on the side I'm talking about walking and Those swimmers are going faster than you're saying You have to jog, for sure maybe run There is no way that you can swim as fast as

someone can run. I can run faster than any swimmer in history I would agree with that. What I'm saying is to keep up with the swimmer, you would have to run. I feel like it's only a run like you forgot to get something at, you know, Walmart and they're closing in a couple minutes.

You're not going to run through fucking Walmart and look like an asshole, but you'll walk a little quicker. A light jog. Maybe a light jog. Maybe you're just doing a quick walk. You're like, shit, I could do a marathon. If you have two feet airborne at the same time, that's a run. And I think you'd need to do that. Or you'd have to do that crazy speed walk event thing with the hips and the twist.

What old women do walking past Macy's. Every time I see that, I just want to be like, stop! Don't ever do that again. Just fucking jog. Why do they do that? Swimmers' Hall. People who've never come to a good swim event, not a high school one, but collegiate level or the Olympic level.

The Olympic level, of course, especially, are taken aback by like, wow, those fuckers are moving. And I've heard that's true in track and field, too. You're like, ah, I didn't even know people did that. You know, they're really hauling. Oh, I'm sure it is. I just think it's interesting to watch, like, the best of the best humans do stuff like sprinting or swimming or jumping

and then see much smaller, dumber animals accidentally beat all of our records. Where it's like, look at, you you know Stephen Johnson from the Republic of the Congo jump he's so he can jump six or seven feet in the air on the high jump this is a chickadee we got from a petting zoo six minutes ago let's see if we can get it to oh Jesus Christ yeah wow

14 feet more than how do you feel about that well you picked an animal that flies you jerk chickadee sounds like a bird of some sort. You're like, look at it. 900 feet. Over the house. He's the kangaroo, maybe.

Yeah. Phelps made bank. It says here his net worth is $55 million. Whoa. For swimming. Yeah. And that's before the endorsement period of his, the big endorsement period of his lifetime.

Oh, that guy is on the fat clock right after this, right after these Olympics wind down. Mark my words, that guy's on the, not just the fat clock, the obese clock because he's going to slow down and keep eating like he does. And he honestly eats as many calories a day as I would wager all four of us on a standard day. Just because he burns that many on a standard day. Because he burns.

That's a dude who wasn't bullshitting you with Subway. While Jared was sitting there pretending like he ate a foot long, Michael Phelps is like, yeah, I eat six of these for breakfast, but I do a lot of work. So you don't eat six of these and expect these results. Look at this. Look at this stuff. Ten of these a day, motherfucker.

Anyway, though. I like the athletes who are just better than everybody else at a thing. It's fascinating. It's like, wow, you're a real fucking unique specimen. We need to stake your DNA and do something with it. If you're going to start making that master race, let's get some of Phelps' sperm because we're going to want to start there. Let's start with a Michael Phelps-type physique.

Let's get somebody else's face jeans. Yes, absolutely. Like, hey, I didn't say... I don't want a whole race of foot people. Imagine John Stamos, but he has three times the lung capacity of a normal man and he can win 18 gold medals a year. That's what we need.

Phelps says he's good at a bunch of events, right? Most swimmers are like, yeah, you know what? I just got a knack for butterfly. I'm built like that, etc. He's like the best at butter, the best at breast, the best at back, and the best at... And the water is the best, right? Yeah, yeah. You don't see track and field athletes

be like, you know what? I just happened to fucking kick ass at the javelin too you know i gotta run the 100 free the 50 free and then throw this javelin and then no one can hang and that's why i'm really getting i'm really getting into american ninja warrior like to me that's almost like the that's like to the athletic sports what like the ufc was to boxing and like it's when you want to talk just talk about people's sheer athleticism and their sheer ability to do things that don't really matter but are still really impressive it's it's it's these american ninja warrior things this mount midoriyama thing it's like you know they're they're it tests everything it tests it tests

strength it tests agility it tests stamina it tests balance know a guy, I think he can win that. It's really impressive. Everyone knows a guy, right? Like, oh yeah, Louie over there, I bet he could do it. No, dude, my guy, I sometimes think about it. I'm like, dude, what if I were to fund your costs to enter this thing in exchange for, I don't know, a quarter of the purse, right?

I'll make this thing feasible for you, and then I you know like i'm investing in you that does that make me like a dick i feel like that no that's just reasonable right no that like in things like that like poker is a perfect example of that that is how a lot of poker players play poker at a professional level it's by having someone else sort of hedge their bet on you and someone else is fronting the money and they're keeping part of the tag. And that way you can actually do it because over the long run, a good player will do well. My son goes to parkour class.

And my son is not great at parkour. It's really about socializing and enjoying himself and he's losing some weight and all the good stuff that comes with exercising. But one of his coaches, he's like perfect at shit. They've got that. You see the warp wall at the end? This guy does the warp wall like it's a joke.

A lot of them build it in their own gym and they practice on it all the time. Oh, yeah. He's got a warp wall? Dude, I'm scared to try it. I've run up it, but I don't give it my all. Is that the one where you run up and try to jump and grab

the left? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like 25 feet in the air or something. It's really tall, though. I think it might be higher than 15. I'm shocked. I think it's like 13 to 16 feet. Yeah, it's somewhere in there. Maybe I'm exaggerating. If these's like 13 to 16 feet. It's somewhere in there. Maybe I'm exaggerating.

If these guys are running up 25-foot walls, they're just superheroes. Well, it's a ramp. It's like a quarter pipe. It's all perspective. What really brought me into the sport was in 2014 when it was Casey Cotton's arrow. She was like this 5-foot-nothing, tiny, petite girl, but one of the most athletic and agile athletes in the world. And she completed the whole course. I think she was the first woman to finish

it. She climbed the 16-foot wall. And I'm like, it's just unbelievable. They have a foam pit, right? And on the far side of the foam pit is like a rock wall. And you would look at it, I swear, and be like, oh. Dude, clearing this foam pit and clinging onto the rock wall like a mountain goat

is just not a task that humans can do. Not rock wall, foam pit. Yeah, clearing the foam pit, getting into the rock. And he does that shit, and you're just like, yeah. Like, and then he just climbs around on it like it's a ladder, like you're supposed to be able to do that thing. And I don't know. You just look at him, and he can, like, like do flips and shit you want to watch this video sure

This is pretty good. This guy doesn't want like a real It's gonna run through all the job to surprise you okay. Are you ready? Yeah, ready set play go Welcome back to American Ninja Warrior. We just saw high school teacher Sam Wilkins complete the course in 2 minutes and 38 seconds. That's the time to beat tonight. He breezed through the quintuple step, murdered the log roll, flew right up the warp wall, and then conquered the salmon ladder. You know it. Coming up next is competitive. That salmon ladder is a thing they have in their gym?

Yep. Dude. I've seen those in a lot of gyms. He goes up and down those like 10 times, like all day. It used to be beautiful before the tornado. All right. It leveled everything. I've immediately judged the book by the cover.

I'm going to be impressed at how this guy does. He's very impressive. Well, it's on the SNL channels. Thanks, Woody. It's show. Everybody can see it. Nobody noticed that. I just wanted to show the good people of Beasley that even when the chips are down,

if you work hard and you put your mind to it, anything is possible. Wow, Jeff. You did it. This isn't about me. I'm doing it for the people of Beasley. And I see some of your friends and neighbors are here tonight to cheer you on. Hey, yeah, there they are. He's got a neck brace on for the tornado.

He's in a wheelchair. I am Captain Tornado, and I'm doing this for my town. Okay, Captain Tornado, go get him. As a reminder, he'll have to beat Sam's time for the qualifying round. Oh, God. That's right. How have you Oh, yeah, that's right 100 pounds overweight, let's see if Captain Tornado will be our next American Ninja Warrior And it's over. The cape is a problem. Let's take a look at the slow-mo. He completely misjudged.

It was almost as if there was absolutely no communication between his brain and his body. Now let's take a look at the reaction of his fans. If you watch closely, you can see the hope slowly draining from their faces. I mean, any respect that they had for Jeff has now completely vanished. And that's gotta suck for them. They put their eggs in the wrong basket. Absolutely. Alright, Jeff, so what do you think happened out there?

I did bad. I did bad. You sure did. But Jeff, because we were so moved by your story, we have a little surprise for you. We decided to give you a special American Ninja do-over. Really? No way. So use what you've learned on your first run and apply it to this one.

I will. I won't let you down this time. I'm going to do it for Beasley. I know. And he's focusing up. Look at the intensity on his face. No running start. He's going to let this rare second chance slip away.

I don't know how they're going to play this. He made it to the second one. The mask fell off. Maybe naming yourself after the thing that destroyed your town wasn't the best choice. I expected him to look a little more disappointed. I mean, he almost looks happy. I hate to say it, but I think that's an I'm peeing face I don't want to do it with his pee in that pool. We don't have time. I'm sorry I don't know what to do over there, he's this first time. He lost his t-shirt. And he's also lost his pants.

That tornado destroyed their home, but this tornado destroyed their spirit and showed its penis. We'll be right back with more American Ninja Warriors. That's pretty good. SNL's not that great these days, but that was a pretty good sketch. It never was. I always...

When I watch Ninja Warrior, like the maybe one or two times I have, I always like to watch it and see like which ones i think i could do and i've never thought that i could do any of them aside from the one where you just kind of like go i'm always like the first time i watched it i was like let's see everybody's talking about this i'm like all right oh you bounce back and forth oh big athlete and then number two is like, all right, now you're going to grab onto this bar,

and you're going to do a pull-up where you then rest yourself up a little more every time, if you've seen that, where you're lifting yourself and pulling yourself up. And it's like, give me 40 minutes and a grappling hook, and I couldn't do that. Like, that's so difficult. I just want the YouTube channel to build a little obstacle course similar to that in their shed,

and then they invite other YouTubers on and see if they can compete. And, like, that would be a million-sub YouTube channel. I'm just waiting for someone to do that. Or if I'm one of those. Watching your fellow YouTubers make a fool of themselves on those obstacle courses, that'd be some entertaining shit. Or the good ones. You know, there's going to be a couple YouTubers that i do great yeah who would surprise you i am or it would

be hilarious if you just treat it seriously but all you do is go around to local playgrounds and chucky cheeses and just monopolize all of the children's playwear as they're like mr can i slide down the slide i'm'm training! I'm training! You're climbing up the slide backwards. You're climbing up the slide backwards as you're getting booted in the face by like, Oshkosh Gachos. You're just like,

taking them out. Little Velcro feet hitting you in the head. I do the same thing, Taylor, about how I would do on those things, except it's not me. It's hypothetical young me. Me is depressing. You know?

No, no, no, no. You climb that rope really well. You climb that rope really well, and there's a lot of rope climbing-like stuff. But peak me could do 22 pull-ups, right? I want to put that guy on the course and see how he can do. You know those...

I didn't even do them, but know, those, um, are like, I didn't even do them, but in the gym we had this peg board where you like put pegs and you go up and down it. Right. Um, just like, I don't know.

I just like fucking tried it and did it my first time ever. And the wrestling coach was like, damn, you know, like, you know, people, that's a rough exercise.

I could do that. And, uh, um, so, you know, like all of the, cause that's what rough exercise. I could do that. Because that's what really matters, I think, is how long each rung is from the next one. Because if it's little, then you can kind of be like... The trick here is that it taxes your grip strength as well in a way that you don't anticipate.

Because the pegs don't go in perfectly. They also kind of slightly canter down. So you have to squeeze to keep yourself on. Yeah, you've got to also be rotating your wrist to keep the pegs don't go in perfectly they also kind of slightly canter down so you have to squeeze to keep yourself on yeah you got you got to also be rotating your wrist to keep the peg in there yeah and then you have that like mini panic attack of like you're like all right i got it i got it okay and then you don't hit it right away and you're just kind of like oh oh yeah that's oh man i'm running out of strength real quick and then you're just done that's the challenge right there it's it's like i don't remember having too much trouble getting the pegs in i'm not even sure if it was camped it was a long time ago but um i do remember like not always getting it on the first try

and now i'm doing like a one-arm pull-up for longer than i want to be yeah and it's like all right well you know reset you know because i've got this height i can have this one again you know and then try it you know that's the kind of nonsense it took that sounds pretty difficult i'd like to try that i've seen those the the mma gym i went to had one have this one again, and then try it. That's the kind of nonsense it took. That sounds pretty difficult. I'd like to try that. I've seen those. The MMA gym I went to had one of those, but we didn't fuck with that stuff. I don't even want to try it anymore. I want to live in my

memory. But yeah, hypothetical Woody, I'm not saying I'd win that thing. I wouldn't. But, like, I don't know. It looks like a fun challenge. Let me take a couple practice runs, and, you know, I might do something. I looks like a fun challenge. Let me take a couple practice runs, and I might do something. I get enough pleasure from living the fantasy of myself winning it that I don't even have to train for it.

I already know what would happen, how it would pan out, just picturing myself dominating it. Like, oh, how'd you break every record? How'd you do it on your first try? Well, this stuff just kind of comes easy to me there you have it folks what were you doing before this and i was at i was at tim horton's eating donuts just hopped on over it was honestly not a big deal like i saw it on twitter thought i'd come over you know that the fantasy is enough like the fantasy you have of everything like you stopping a

robbery you you know winning an argument against a teacher from a decade ago. You get so much pleasure from it, just fantasizing about it, that at the end of it, you're like, oh, it's almost like that happened. I don't need to go back. You see the guys on it, and they're like, well, this guy enjoys rock climbing. And you're like, oh, well, that kind of hobby

is what makes him succeed at this so much. And I think parkour coach, this guy all day long just does crap like that in the gym to keep himself fit dude no joke he could actually do this right like it could he could be a guy he could be the guy these these athletes have missed such a grand opportunity because they're all clearly very fucking athletic and instead of pointing all of that energy and focus into like all right i'm a six foot four guy i'm in great shape i'm gonna point myself towards the nfl right wide receiver put all my eggs in that basket and i'm gonna get really good at this instead he's like well i'm

gonna put five percent of my time into peg climbing and then 15 into mild left foot jumps and then i'm gonna get uh i'm gonna take out a thirty thousand dollar loan i'm gonna put lily pad jumpers in my pool in the back i'm gonna get an eternity pool and it's like how about you just you solidify that interest and you you learn a skill that people give a fuck about because at the end of the day all it is is novel watching these people where it's like wow that guy ran up that wall like it mattered you know they were saying the same thing about X Games the same thing about UFC at one point though all right so the javelin has been out there for centuries that's not really take catching fire or take or kit they're taking hold or

anything how do you even get into throwing the javelin the discus or the shot put like lose a couple races and they put you in that field. I know that. You lose out on the track and you go into the field. That happened to me. I know that happened because it happened to me. Yeah? In eighth grade, I had to be on the track team, and I fucking hated it. I hated track.

This is great. My parents were like, you know, you got to do something before hockey season starts because we want you to be active all year. And I was like, whatever, track. First meet, first track meet ever. To be fair, I had not shown promise in any event. They kind of were just like, you know, you do this. Ah, Jesus, how do I do that? And they put me in the 100-meter hurdles.

Who would have thought that would be the right event for their goalie? Go on. 100-meter hurdles. They put me in it and I'm there and I look down the line and the guy right next to me is a guy also from my school and I know that he is really fucking fast at this because I've watched him do

it really fucking fast next to me. And what I do, there was only like I don't know, like six hurdles or however many there are in 100 meter. I ran, there was only like, I don't know, like six hurdles or however many there are in a hundred meter. I ran, got the first one off a bullshit jump, to be fair. This leg, right leg went over it, left leg kind of like went a swoop. You know, it did a little swoop around the side. It's not supposed to.

Is that illegal or just bad form? It's just horrible form, and I'm pretty sure it's illegal. But I was like 14, so nobody was calling me on it. I get to the next one. I make it over. I kind of tap it a little bit. I give it a little bit of a shake, kind of. Meanwhile, I already have an excellent view of who's going to win the race. Because right in front of me, there are three hurdles ahead. The third hurdle I jump, like almost half-assed, like, what am I doing? Making an asshole of myself. Everyone was so fucking far ahead of me. And I jumped, knocked it over, and I shame you not, I didn't even finish the race. like what am i doing making an asshole of myself everyone was so fucking far ahead of me and i

jumped knocked it over and i shame you not i didn't even finish the race i just went to the side and just jogged it up to the end didn't jump over anymore just kind of like wave into the stands of all like the eighth grade girls who are there waiting for their event they're like hey i'm so you know i'm over here talk to to coach uh coach who was over there, and he's like, how about you seem like a shot put kind of guy. I'm certainly not a running type of guy. And he was like, okay. And honestly, going to the shot put event after that was like wandering into like a special bus scenario where this was not like unlike the the running of the the hurdles this wasn't the cream of the crop no one here knew how to shot put or dis or javelin these were all the people

that couldn't run and i i performed well amongst that group no but uh it was uh yeah because there were girls there so i really really tore it up we had that is embarrassing i can picture everybody looking at me we had the we had some sort of elementary school olympics and i also threw the shot put and i guess i showed some promise at it for being like a fifth grader um so my parents bought me a shot put to practice with and so like i'm out in the yard spinning around throwing this big hunk of steel all day it was a very weird time in my life. Because everybody's encouraging me, like, you're very good. You threw it 15 feet.

Yeah, that's amazing. And I'm just like, well, okay, I don't know. I'm just throwing the steel ball. Okay, I'll do that more. And now I've got my own special one and some sort of shot put cleaning rag that you like swivel it around in. It's all this bullshit and then we get to the meet and I'm like I don't really want to do

this anymore do I have to and they're like no that was it from the shot put thing they didn't teach any of us how to do it and so the and there were no like coaches over there because they were all caring about the real sports like the

running and the jumping and we were in our own sequestered little idiot cell over there, because they were all caring about the real sports, like the running and the jumping, and we were in our own sequestered little idiot cell over there, and nobody cared. But for the first few, I guess, rounds of it, nobody was telling these kids how to shot put, and I didn't know. So people were just guaranteed fucking up their elbows, just like...

And it's like, meanwhile, just weird tweaks and shit are happening. Like, ah, kind of smarts you know i don't think this is how you're supposed to do it you're not supposed to put it behind your head and whip it like a girl does a softball but yeah that was track is horrible it's a horrible sport i wanted to be in track have i told this story on pka i am being tracked so like i was a sophomore in high school. I think I was working. Of course I was working. I had to always work after high school. I hated it.

I'd go to high school, which I hated. Then I'd go to my jobs, which I also hated. Then at night, I would not do my homework. That was kind of my high school existence. I had this idea that I wanted to play a winter sport. But as a sophomore, I knew that I was like shit at all sports. So winter track is like the JV League track. At least it was in my head. I don't know if it is everywhere.

But spring track, that's track and field. That's when track and field happens. Cross country, that's in the fall. Winter, that's like this isn't track season track so i thought i would start there and i tried to sell my parents on it and my dad is like no my son he works and uh and i just i tried to sell it i tried to pitch it and then eventually and this is the argument that ended it all he goes you know what i've seen him run he's no great shakes that was the line and it was like i was deflated i stopped trying it was great shakes i who is an old mean man term that you say

to your son yeah it's it is a paraphrase it's like he's going to suck and uh and i was like oh well all right never mind about track and that And that's my track and field experience. Yeah, it's a terrible, terrible activity. In fairness, I might have sucked. To this day, I suck at running. But I've got, like, really good cardio. Like, it comes to me quickly. Your lower body, apparently.

Right? So if they could have trained me to not run like a goose or whatever it is that I do, then maybe i would have turned into something who knows who's stepping around i don't even put that together i was just thinking of something that waddles or runs badly we think he'd be good on the team but he's constantly goose stepping and saluting the crowd can i change that to penguin i want to back out i just wanted a bad runner uh i remember every day after school for track, the training of it, the first warm-up was you had to run two miles down the street and two miles back.

And we ran down the street that all of my friends, whose parents didn't make them play track, would be driving home from school on. And so it was constant days of jogging while a teacher that i hate is doing that backwards jog in front of me like come on taylor you gotta give it to me you gotta show me you want to be here if you want to make this fucking running squad which you don't which i don't want to just being berated by my friends oh fucking pussy oh you're doing running like ah oh god what a terrible part of my life. I hated track and field. It was the worst. How many years did you do it?

One. One year. But you did it a whole season? I did it a whole season. And the following year, my parents were just like, you really don't want to? I was like, no, please, just let me play hockey year round or something, if that's what it takes. Like, just no more running. Horrible.

I would never even consider fucking doing that that's like so much running to be on the track team and that's not one of my favorite things at all i hate running um so i tried to avoid that at all costs and it's not fair to people who care about track too because they're trying to win meets that's true got this anchor on the team who they know doesn't care and that's not fair to them i i was you know big lanky legs so that track was pretty much the only sport that i was really uh half decent i went from bad like like you taylor to actually half decent um and the way i got there was the the advice i got i was

sprinting so um my big mistake my common pitfall at the beginning was I was trying too hard to get my feet to the next push off. And I wasn't thinking enough about my stride. So when my coach told me that, you know, try to envision launching your front foot as far forward as you can before you have it touch the ground again. That like shifted my focus away from trying to pump the ground as fast and hard as possible to it's more about stride and how far forward I can get my foot before I plant it, before I start to do my backstroke.

I became like a really pretty subpar runner to a half decent sprint overnight. I became confident. I remember I didn't start swimming until my senior year, but I was like a fish my whole life, right? And I had lots of surfing experience

and stuff like that. So I was instantly one of the best guys on the team. And then in college, I joined and I'm like, yeah, I only do freestyle, right? And I was so bad at the other strokes.

When other people had to do other strokes, they're like, Woody, we're all embarrassed for you, right? Don't do the other strokes. Just swim freestyle all the time. That was high school.

Come college, it was winter break, and they asked me to do butterfly. And I, like, I knew how to do it. I had, like, tried it on my own and stuff. And some consider it the toughest stroke. And for people that don't know how to swim, they can often do some kind of backstroke and some kind of breaststroke, but they can't do butter for shit. And I went out there and they asked me to do butterfly and I mockingly did it. Like I put way more hips than I thought was appropriate and stuff.

All the coaches were blown away by my form and how outstanding my kick was. And I added butterfly to my, my list. So that's, I became a butterflyer by being a jackass like making fun of butterfly and they're like you got it yeah butterfly sucks because I feel like and obviously I never got great at it but I took swimming lessons enough that I can do the butterfly but I always felt like I'm spending 10 times as much energy as the breaststroke and I'm only going like a little bit faster.

And maybe I was just doing it terrible. Maybe you can get going really fucking quick with a butterfly if you're good. What's the fastest if you're good? Freestyle? Yes. Yeah, yeah. Free is the fastest. Butter and back are nearly the same, and breast is the slowest.

Is breast a hard one one or is that easy like in terms of like competing and stuff yeah because that was always my favorite that's just the standard hand over hand stroke right that's freestyle yeah so freestyle is hand breast is the one where you kind of go like this and um a lot of people think that's the easiest in practice like you can you go slower no one expects you to keep up with the other strokes, etc. That's the one I can do. I don't swim very well, and that's the one I would... If I fell in the water, that's the stroke I do to try to get to safety.

That's my go-to. In competition, they're all fully hard, I think. You finish every one of them dead, or you're not trying. In the breaststroke, you have to hold your breath a long time, which kind of sucks. Okay, then I do a modified version of it where I occasionally pull my face out and get some air. Breast is so slow that the underwater portion takes on a special importance to it.

You've got to come off the wall and go real fast. Oh, is that the one where they just do the dolphin kicking underwater for a long time? That's illegal. Yeah, you can't do that in any of them. But in breast, you get one pull and one kick, and you've got to make that last. Are you a sports guy at all, Josh? Just track, really. I mean, I tried. I did

pop Warner football and stuff. But track was my main one. And I was really a sprinter. And again, I became like a half-decent sprinter. Won a couple heats, came in second or third and a lot. Um, but the, my, my real fizzle out was I had to, well, it wasn't a fizzle out cause it was, it was sort of the beginning of my running career, but I, I, uh, my, my most embarrassing moment was I was, uh, someone had dropped out of the 400 meter and I

thought, well, you know, I do pretty good at the 100 and 200. So 400, not a big deal, right? I can, I can carry my own in that one. And not a long-distance runner at all. I never trained for long distance. I will have learned through this experience that I have no endurance whatsoever. I don't think 400 is considered long distance, though, right? That's mid-distance at most. Yeah, yeah.

No, exactly, which is why our coaches were like, yeah, you could do it. Go ahead. But even 400 was way too long for my shitty lungs. And so we come around the first corner, and I'm way ahead of the pack. I'm like, fucking A. I'm going to kill this race. This is my race. What have I been doing, wasting my time on the 100 or 200?

And then down the first stretch, everyone just starts catching up to me and I go around the second bend and everybody is just passing me by and they're not passing me by like at a modest clip, it's suddenly as if I'm walking and they're sprinting and that's the distance between the delta between our two paces and then I'm coming down the last back stretch and all I can remember it was so embarrassing because i was basically almost

blacked out like i'm tunnel visioning i was trying with all my might running i just yeah i just remember the coach beside me like like jogging but he's not actually jogging he's doing more vertical motion quickly because he could walk faster than I'm running. And I'm like full on with all my might. And it was so embarrassing. And what was really embarrassing was how patronizing my school was about it and the other school was about it. Because they saw – I was that motivational story for the school where, like, I was, like, the special needs kid who got to have his hero moment on the basketball court right like our white guy everybody's cheering my name and chanting me on and i'm just white guy white guy and so i was like the motivational story guy for that moment

and which is annoying because i was a half-missed sprinter but look at me in that moment i'm like the embarrassment of the school so i got done and everyone, you did great, or pat me on the back. And I'm like, oh, God. And I just remember looking at my dad. That was like the one heat my dad went to. And he was just like face palming. You saw him throwing the disposable camera in the trash. Just like, well, this is no more than blackmail now.

Might as well get rid of this shit. He comes home and tells the family he was no great shakes. My dad told me after he was driving me back, because I was in eighth grade, after I got blown out of that 100-meter hurdles, I was still kind of bummed about it because it's not fun, even if you don't care,

to just get humiliated. Humiliated. I never was in the lead josh i never took i never exploded outward they thought people in the stands were thinking my god does that boy know that started yet is he okay he must be from the deaf school that's competing you know he didn't hear the go but it's like i suddenly it's like i said it's like i was i was a really uh gifted runner at the first around the first bend, and then suddenly it was like I was running through molasses. I literally had anchors in my shoes. Do you think that all the runners who were conditioned to the 400 and 4400, and they probably run it many times a week.

They know the pacing and how people should keep up. Now, hang on. Do you think that they saw you explode and how people should keep up now hang on do you think that they saw you explode and go oh my god what is he a collegiate runner or did or were they instantly like what a dummy slow but steady well i don't know maybe because you know what honestly what he was right like the 400 is not considered a distance heat at all. They probably were like, wow, he's really fucking good because they would never expect someone to burn out after 200 meters like that.

Can you imagine the college track scout out there like, holy shit, Dave, Dave, Dave. Who's this guy? That's a Stanford man right there. Oh, wait, wait. Wait, what's he doing? Oh, no, he's just tuckered out. Oh, okay, wait, wait, what's he doing? Crinkle up the name. Oh, no, he's just tuckered out.

That's a Stanford man. Hey, I got a little tip for you guys watching the Olympics this time. If you know either swimming or track, the sports are almost the same if you multiply or divide by four. If you're watching a guy swim 100 free, you can take that

time, multiply it by four, and it's pretty much what it's like to see someone do a 400-yard thing. If someone runs 1,500 meters or something, divide that by four, and you've got roughly what you can expect in the 400 meter in swimming. The times and the events and stuff are real comparable. Runners are about four times faster. Is there like a science behind it? Is like water four times as dense as air? Or is it just a course? A little more than that.

It's called the rule of four. Thank you, Taylor. It's more like the rule of four. And it's not perfect, but it's closer than you might guess. It'll be within two seconds or so. The rule of four works. What's your uh favorite olympics uh like uh event that's that's that's an unconventional one don't give me fucking i can't give you swimming no yeah exactly don't give me swimming i honestly i was always a little

bit more entertained by curling than i should have been right it's kind of it's interesting because you're like this is a sport and then sport? You're just kind of taken back by it because they're out there scrubbing the ice and there's the guy who's flinging the thing. It just seems so stupid. The hurler himself. It's interesting.

When I see it, I watch it. It's like whenever you're at a family reunion, there's always someone playing bocce and it's kind someone playing bocce, and it's kind of like bocce ball. There's always somebody playing with a shuffleboard at a bar. It's like gold medal for it. The announcers seem to be able

to explain it, too. They're like, alright, that thing went in the ten, you'd think that'd be good, but it's early, and so easy to knock out. This is the ricochet that you might be expecting, or whatever. It's almost like poker. To me, poker was terrible to watch until

they dropped the percentage thing in the corner. Now you're like, oh, these guys are bad. They don't know that it's 83-17, but I do. So now I'm going to watch how this plays out. Prior to that, it was like, I don't really know how hard it is to catch a club somewhere in

here you know like yeah curling's just not a good sport it's not a sport it's an activity but it's like it's a canadian thing and i think the problem was is when they found out they could have sports on ice they went really hog wild with hockey and put all their good ideas into that and then when they realized like fuck all these other countries have lots of sports they enjoy. Well, we have ice. We've got to keep with the theme. Can we just, like, kind of bowl a cauldron down the lane? Why doesn't the Summer Olympics have shuffleboard?

Right? Because it's just ice shuffleboard, right? It really is kind of ice shuffleboard. Yeah, so it seems like the Summer Olympics should have shuffleboard shuffleboard. Make it even. Or baccarat. I like the Summer Olympics should have shuffleboard, shuffleboard. Make it even. Or baccarat. I like the high dive.

I like the high dive because it's something that I think I would be very intimidated to do myself. I would be here. Yeah, I think it would be very intimidating. Because I'm certainly not acrobatic by any means. And I'm just imagining, like, what if you get half a rotation wrong? Then you hit your back on water. Figure skating is another good one for that

same reason. There's a lot of aerial acrobatic. It's impressive to watch. You can appreciate the beauty of the art form. It's synchronized to music. It's a performance. There's almost a story arc to it.

Of course, it's really dramatic. If you could clearly see when they mess up or they make a huge mistake, they fall down. I like to see them get so shitty right away. Diving, I think, is one of the shittiest sports to participate in the whole world. Like, oh, God, it's awful. Have you done it? Have I done it? Well, they're on the swim team, so I'm, like, exposed to it.

Oh, okay. I thought it would, like, segregate them from you actual athletes. No. Instead, they just treat them like second-class citizens. So they get in and out of the water constantly. They're freezing as fuck. They don't even have real towels because they work, like, twice. They have these, like, little chamois that are, like, towels that you can wring out they're this big and they're still for the men they're still wet uh they it hurts a lot right

they're constantly trying new things and flopping or whatever uh they have to dive in between swimmers doing laps right so that's like like i don't know it's stressful yeah so they're class yeah like you don't get to like think and like and, like, all right, now I'm going to go. It's like, all right, go time. And, you know, you swim, like, or, sorry, you dive in between the swims. Have you ever seen anyone get hurt? I've seen them, like, you see the, ooh, you know, not, like, injured, but the kind of belly flop that you wouldn't like. And, yeah, and, like, I just feel like the success and failure of a diver is really minute, right?

The one thing a tiny bit better, their ankles were touched closer together, the toes were just a little more pointed. The splash, which you can only kind of gauge yourself. You come up, how was that one? I just think it's an awful sport to participate in. It's all yuck. If you want to watch a sport that does occasionally have some really wild falls that's in the Olympics

speed skating some of those fuckers hit the ground or hit the boards so hard because they're fucking flying and the thing about speed skates that you don't probably know is hockey skates it's kind of like

your I Could draw this out You can kind of roll I can draw I can't draw well But I'm saying like a hockey skate if you're looking at the cross section of it. It's like this So you can dig in you really it's invisible to me. Okay, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I see. Yeah, that's the blade itself, right?

That's how it is. If it's a speed skate, it's like that, where it's just flat. I didn't know that. And so there is like, you have to be so careful with where you're placing your skates

because if you're a tiny bit off, you'll just slide out. Why would they do that? Because you can, the skates because if you're a tiny bit off, you'll just slide out. Why would they do that? Because the skates are really long and with this flatter blade, you really don't have to deal with friction. You're gliding across it

so well. With the arc one, I know you'd think that there's more contact with the ice and you'd think there'd be more friction but it's not because the curve actually digs into the ground and the ice and with the ice, you'd think there'd be more friction, but it's not, because the curve actually digs into the ground, into the ice, and then the ice has this pinching force on the friction in addition to it. That's why you want it in hockey,

so you can quickly move back and forth, and stop, and turn, and in speed skating, you just want that all flat. But that looks like something that you could really fuck yourself up if you don't know what you're doing. And just look that up on YouTube, speed skating fails or falls, because some of those are, like, definitely broken bones and concussions.

The skiing slaloms and stuff, I love those. It's a lot of fun to watch, just, like, the competitive skiing courses. People died a few years ago doing the skeleton or the slalom or something like that where they just went out of the the tube i guess that they race in i don't remember where it was but oh god did you see it no i but i've seen i can i'm imagining it i've seen like where they reuse those uh those slalom courses and stuff for like extreme bicycling and like random stuff like that like they'll utilize that that infrastructure and it looks terrifying.

It's really exciting for the slalom skiing. It's really exciting for me to watch the lap timer to see how far off the high score you are or the person in front of you. Now, you remember video games like Drive Club where they have that mode where you can see the ghost image of the person in front of you racing when you're trying to, like, from somebody on the leaderboard. Yeah, that's really helpful. Well, I have a friend who's working in technology to build that into the Olympics,

so they're going to have, like, almost a ghost silhouette of the other competitors that are leading on the course as well, so you can see almost exactly where the current competitor is going out. That's awesome. That's cool, but I want to see other things. Like, I want to see, like, a lion running along and, like,

leaving everyone behind. Just for point of reference, if this was a cheetah, this is how fast they'd go. I want to see a 400-pound man in the back. He makes the first three steps out of the blocks, but really he's just staggering because 400-pound men should never be in the blocks. He just kind of tumbles, and they kind of pan back to his ghost crawling a little. I would like that technology it reminds me a little bit though of the old yellow

hockey puck that Fox had so let's hope they do a little better oh man that was horrible alright so think about it though on a modern television yeah that would be so stupid but back then on my I remember watching a hockey game in my bedroom on my small like

bubble TV or whatever. You could barely see where the puck was half the time. And it was like, oh yeah, now I see the puck. Okay, because earlier it was just a bunch of guys sort of skating around. You had to kind of use context clues to figure it out. They're terrible. That is true. If you were watching hockey in the 80s or early 90s and you didn't know a lot about hockey,

it was kind of like, I assume the puck's in that region because all of those gentlemen seem to be interested in that section of the boards. Oh, they must have moved. It was very helpful back then. And you got rabbit ears if you don't have cable. You couldn't see that fucking puck. Yeah.

I have... Alright. I don't know how this topic is going to go over. But here we go. I have noticed individually on 4chan that tranny porn seems to be a very popular thing. And I thought they were all joking.

Like, in on the joke. Like, oh yeah, post your favorite... Tranny is a bad word. What are you supposed to say? Transvestite? Transgender? Let's just stick with tranny because the bad word what are you supposed to say transvestite transgender transgender let's just stick with tranny because because the next word is porn okay i don't know but i i let's not offend anyone when we talk about when we watch videos of them fuckings to jerk off like so in my head it was like well tranny porn that's really gay right like like watching tranny porn but then the argument was made that it is less gay

right because most porn is half girl half guy right but tranny porn is half girl and then half half girl half guy so it's 75 girl yeah okay i'm following you all right so let me help you out here in a standard straight porno por you've got half girl, half guy. So half of your porn is a dude you're watching. In tranny porn, if you're watching tranny on female porn, which is a sub-genre of the topic itself, then you've got one actual female with a vagina and a transsexual, which is half a female by Woody's estimation.

And so 75 out of 100... female with a vagina and a transsexual which is half a female by woody's estimation and so 75 out of 100 75 percent girl that and even and even and and by this logic by this argument then uh tranny on guy porn is less gay than guy on guy porn of course right yeah because at least you're 25 girl in that situation it's the straightest of gay porn. Well, the logic seems sound. The numbers check out. The numbers check out. I'm running the math through my head, and it makes total sense.

Yeah, I think that's a real big fetish online. I was flipping throughdit the other day on my phone and it was um maybe it was uh the titty drop subreddit whatever that is you know the tit drop where they like laser shirt in the titty's fault bounce i mixed it up and and there's bailey jay uh like like on on that one and i'm like i go to check the comments to see if everybody's hip to bailey j they know who she is and everything and and they all are everybody in there there's like one guy who was like, wow, she's so hot. And then like 50 people going

like, but she's got a dick. Oh, she's a tranny porn star? There's two tranny porn stars. One is Bailey J. Is the other Chris Angel? Who's the other one? Chris Angel?

No, Chris Angel's the story magician. He's the one who made her come on come on help me out Buck Angel yeah yeah alright you know what just had to get close and then we can get there as a team so Buck Angel will make your cock disappear and Buck Angel will make your dick disappear

Buck Angel looks like a dude like he vibes dude he sounds dude if you were to see him with his shirt off, you would think, dude, he's muscular. I think that he can beat either of us in an arm wrestling contest, right?

He's got tattoos. He just all about... But he has a vagina. Yeah. He has real low body fat, too. So, like, just everything about him is just like, kind of, like is just like, kinda, like I don't know, like prison tough. So would you do

him? No. Now we've talked about this before. The question, of course, comes down to would you fuck, would you rather fuck this woman who looks exactly like a man except for the vagina, and that's not an exaggeration by any means, or would you rather fuck the man who looks exactly like a man except for the vagina and that's not an exaggeration by by any means

or would you rather fuck the man who looks exactly like a woman except for the penis and that's not an exaggeration by any means yeah and of course of course you want to fuck the man who looks exactly like a woman yeah unless you're just so hung up on and an actual homophobe like i hate the word homophobe because i think it should be okay to just dislike people who are gay. You should be able to do that, but I'm not afraid of them. I don't agree with the dislike thing. I know what you meant.

I was going, something different there. I was like, wait a minute. You're not attracted to homosexuals, but you're, yeah. Oh, that's what you were going for. In the most uncouth way possible. That thing was put together really well in my head, and i was like wait what that is racism that's that's what you just yeah that's bigotry it's a big moment you realize in amidst all of the silence

that you said it wrong i was like wait a minute i need to find bigotry no yeah all right so what kyle is saying is it's okay to be not attracted to another guy. But he's saying you should be able to take it further and hate them. But you shouldn't call it homophobia because that implies you're scared of him and in reality you just don't want to fuck him. Yeah, exactly.

I mean, I don't think anybody who's intellectually honest would say those are the same things. No one smart is going to call what you were actually trying to describe as homophobia yeah um that's just sensational people trying to get a rise out of you that would call you a phobia and to me it came down like i totally preferred bailey jay because at least she vibes girl you know look i'll get every way yeah you know the whole experience is one of a man and a woman, except for the penis. Let me open incognito mode.

I'm told. I love the I'm told. Yeah. So, yeah, I guess I wonder if this is like, see, as you get older, like when I'm 29, right? I'm like, dude, I don't know what's up. I'm still in touch. Like, you know, like I feel like I know exactly what the 29 yet. No, no, no.

Yeah. Like when I was 29, I felt like I still kind of got teenage culture. Like I was, you know, a hip do it all. It wasn't like I didn't feel even like invisible to 18 year olds or something. Like, I was, you know, a hip do-it-all. It wasn't like, I didn't feel even, like, invisible to 18-year-olds or something, right? I was married and such. But, like, you know, whatever. At 43, I'm like, is this what the kids are jacking to now? I don't know.

God damn it, I'm behind the times. Yeah, I don't have any teenagers being like, you know what? If I'm honest with you, I do like the tranny. Like, no, that doesn't exist in my whole life anymore. The radio in my truck is mediocre, but because the tires are loud, the whole music experience is just awful. And what it's done to me is I only like songs I've heard already, right? Because if I hear it for the first time, I don't get it.

I don't know any of the words. All you get is a suggestion of the song that might be playing over all this fucking noise. Musically, I'm stagnant there too because I only like songs I've heard before and I don't really listen to music much outside the car.

I don't like pop. I don't like teen culture. I really despise it. I don't think that that's unique to my generation I guess it happens every every single time and I think it's for a reason it's it's it's what young people like is real shit and

and and and we just why that when we were young oh we're stupid to that shit the fucking Britney Spears and in sync that was garbage before you I have MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice yeah Yeah, all that shit was garbage. That shit was trash, and we shouldn't have been into it. We should have been fucking getting some Sinatra vinyl or something. You're telling me that NSYNC's No Strings Attached that came out in 2001

was not an excellent CD? Those dance numbers were pretty fucking tight. They were good. They were like the puppets. they were all like marionettes dancing in sync and stuff. That stuff was good. Thank you. But 90% of that stuff

was garbage. I think that happens every generation. Every young person just has bad taste. Because you're a young person. You haven't developed any taste yet. How would you know what's fucking good? But at the time, Backstreet Boys sounded great. Sure.

Backstreet Boys. I mean, I think so. Yeah, they're the first ones, right? Backstreet Boys? No. I'm going for New Kids on the Block. That's what I'm thinking of. Yeah, New Kids on the Block was before me and Kyle. Yes, they were my teenage years. I remember Wings of Redemption held this story.

He's like, I hated Leonardo DiCaprio. This is Wings. Leonardo DiCaprio was like mortal enemies. He and Leonardo DiCaprio, he just hated everything about him. And he really hated everything about him because girls preferred Leonardo DiCaprio to Wings of Redemption. And now he's like, you know what? Leonardo DiCaprio is a pretty good actor. That's his current standard that was uh orlando bloom in in my age group it was new kids on the block for me yeah i

didn't hate orlando bloom though because he played legolas and give him a little bit of leeway but yeah kyle's right happens with every generation yeah i remember there was a girl that i wasn't like making a move or anything, but if she expressed any return interest, I'd have been on it. And her interest seemed to be more towards new kids on the block than me, so fuck them. Bitch. She didn't know what she could have had.

Yeah. Well, I think we're getting pretty near the end here. How deep are we into this show tonight? 348. Let's crack four hours so that everyone's so happy. It's just 12 minutes. So the kids need to acquire that arbitrary number. They do.

They want longer podcasts. They want longer than two hours? Yeah. You know what? We broke four like a time or two, and then all of a sudden they loved it so much it became the standard for us. Let us know in the comment box.

What do you prefer? What length of show do you like? Let us know. Let us know. Are you on another topic? I have eight ways you can get on the new fly list queued up. The no fly list? Yes, I said it wrong. I could think of more than eight.

I had all kinds of cool ideas. The top eight will stay. One, being suspected of direct terrorist activity. Seems cool enough. Traveling to certain countries. If you go to the wrong countries, you can put a flag on you and you can get on the no fly list. If you go to the wrong countries, you can put a flag on you and you can get on the no-fly list.

Something you said in the past. Here's a guy who gave a lecture that was critical of President Bush and now he's on the no-fly list. You can have a similar name to someone who's on the no-fly list. Not becoming an informant. There were four Muslims who were put on the no-fly list because they refused to spy for the FBI. Clerical error. Law enforcement issues. People who have open warrants or other characteristics, including criminal activity, find themselves on the list.

And the eighth one, controversial tweets. I honestly thought this was going to be a list like, oh, masturbating in the bathroom at the airport. Or, you know, trying to bring a full bottle of Dasani in your backpack. Half of those were mistakes, like clerical errors, same name as someone else, and then there's social media tweets. I wanted

number eight to be Googling this list. I wanted there to be some awesome punchline at the end of it. But nope, they went serious on us. it was relevant because they're talking about using the no fly list as a no gun list and you can't like that was such a like gut reaction from people where they were like oh well you know if you're on the no fly list you'll be able to get a gun anyway it's like well you like that that you can't base

shit like that on an arbitrary list that you can be thrown on as a mistake or for any reason You can't base shit like that on an arbitrary list that you can be thrown on as a mistake or for any reason. Well, the big contradiction is, because I, look, I understand the emotional response, right? But the big contradiction is we were once applauding Edward Snowden for revealing all of this illegal wiretapping and all these rights that the government was trampling on. And we were condemning the Bush administration for this illegal detention and indefinite detention of just suspected terrorists and not convicted terrorists without due process. So really, it just comes back to where do you how how serious are your principles? You know, how are you going to stand by them even in times of inconvenience? Because it was very convenient and easy to be on the popular side of those issues. But on this issue, the question is, if the FBI, who did interview the Orlando guy, I'm not going to say his name, you know, even if obviously they suspected him of some shit,

but they didn't have anything actionable that could warrant a search and seizure in his home, that could warrant locking him up. And so at what point, you know, at what length do you suspend people's rights just under suspicion? And where is the burden of proof? Why? And where does that fall on the due process timeline? I have a personal answer. And by the way, I think you stated that really well.

I thank you. I feel like the process for getting on the no gun list, right? Let's make up a new list should be similar to that of getting a warrant, you know, like, look, because,

because you have another right. Like, they can't do a legal search and seizure, right? I think it's the Fourth Amendment. They can't just go in your house and check it. Everybody wants to take away your gun rights, but I bet that illegal search and seizure stuff protects a lot more criminals than gun rights do, right? There are tons of guys who know, like, you can't come in here. This is my safe zone, right? There are tons of guys who know, like, you can't come in here, this is my safe zone, right?

That door stays locked until you get some sort of actionable proof that lets you come in my house. But it's possible to do that. You just have to get a warrant. And our judges have proven to be, you know, pretty reasonable, I think, on the warrant thing. Like, they wouldn't get a, you have to show them something. You know, they're not perfect.

You know, I'm sure there'll be flaws and such, but I feel like in general, when cops get warrants, they get them because they had something to go on. You know, they don't just get to raid everybody's house if they want to. So, maybe that's the best system we have if we're gunless. You're like, look, you wanna stop this guy from buying a gun?

Show me his terrified girlfriend, you know, stop this guy from buying a gun? Show me his terrified girlfriend, you know, who has these threats, who can tell the story of the boyfriend banging on the door and now she's scared for her life, you know? All right. Any probable cause, right? Really? Yeah. And make sure that that probable cause is obtained in a way that is legal. So there's also this disconnect between how we collect our information about international terrorists and how we collect information about U.S. citizens. And there's a big disparity there. And a lot of what falls under the burden of proof for suspecting you of terrorism is not enough to trigger a warrant or

to suspect you of a civil crime as a citizen. Like visiting a country. Right. So exactly. so because there's that disconnect so i really empathized with you know of course all the victims of the of the shooting but i also really empathized with like the fbi and a lot of people the government and the police force who are being crucified basically in the court of public opinion about you had this guy how could you let it happen and it's like well we we let it happen because we were doing everything you demanded us to do which was give people due process and not, you know, wiretap them illegally. So yeah, it was a shitty situation all around. And, you know, I actually, so I'm a,

I wouldn't say I'm a Second Amendment guy, but I'm definitely, I own guns. I think that it's really counterproductive to make the conversation about Second Amendment and about gun abolishment and prohibition. It's just, I think that there is a lot better uses of our time and effort. Like, I fall on the side of there's definitely, it shouldn't be easier to get guns than it is to get a driver's license. I agree with that, But I don't agree. You need a driver's license to get a gun. Not in every state. Yes, you do.

You don't need a driver's license. You need an ID. You need a government-issued ID. So the burden of proof that you are responsible enough to drive a vehicle is higher than the burden of proof that you're responsible enough to own a weapon, a firearm. You've got a privilege versus a right. You know that. One is a little, a legit right that's given to you upon birth to

bear arms, and the other is a privilege. But that's what I'm saying, is that I don't think it's productive to debate the rights issue, because it's this really complex system that becomes unraveled and unpacked, and it's productive to debate the rights issue because it's this really complex system that becomes unraveled and unpacked, and it's way better to look at the other context of the law

that would lead them to be... It should be a privilege to bear arms. Like, hey, let's turn it into the testing thing. We can make bearing arms a privilege too. It's how i unpack that and you know in some states it's kind of like that like if you're in new york or california they've already you know done away with the second amendment for all intents and purposes by just making it fucking ridiculously hard to to enact your right like we we had Anthony on the other week. Right, but look, there's

a, there are reasonable constraints on every right, right? Like, you have a right to free speech, but not if you're inciting violence or a riot, right? So there's, you know, there's, there are reasonable limits on rights, and yeah, you could, you know, if you wanted

nuance. I feel like if we do, like, alright, so let's apply your reasonable limits on rights and yeah you could you know if you wanted nuance i feel like if we do like all right so let's apply your reasonable limits that you did for gun ownership and be like you know what you need to like pass a certain test and prove that you have a certain mindset before you can have a twitter account you know because oh no i'm just again i'm sort of you know applying the same thing to your free speech right like you know because you should have to pass a test and get a government approval before you have a YouTube account because you know what? That voice could reach a lot of people

and we can't just have everybody with free speech. It's a privilege. Again, I prefaced all of this by saying I think this is the wrong way to go about the problem because what's happening is we're digressing into this place that's really counterproductive because again now you're talking about private companies with their own

terms of service and their own policies for how you can operate on their on their sites you you can go out and shout anything you want into the street or into a crowded theater you cannot shout fire in a crowded theater that does not have a fire burning right similarly i could not go on twitter and say and tweet out that there's an active shooter incident on this college campus and to seek shelter and expect my account to not get terminated if that were to blow up and people were to react to that and, you know, and it were to cause panic or incite fear in people. So it becomes like really, really silly really really fast. I think, I think the

pragmatically you could take a step back though and understand why it's not okay to shout fire in a crowded theater. Well, yeah, but like no one's arguing for that. All I'm saying is like, hey, if you treat the second amendment, you know, the second right, like you do your other rights, then suddenly like putting a lot of tests in front of it, you start to realize like, oh, no, no, no, the second right is the second class citizens. All the other ones, pleading the fifth, right to free speech, right, you know, prevention of illegal search and seizure, women being allowed to vote. Those, you know, we don't fuck with those.

But the Second Amendment, that's a second class right. And we mess with it all we want, right? It should be hard to exercise that right. But the the logic goes back to any other right right so like the your your right to you know liberty and pursuit of happiness and mobility right are you suggesting that the speed limit of 55 miles per hour is infringing on a right and now it's a privilege to drive 55 miles an hour like you know it is a privilege to drive 50 miles 55 miles an hour it's a privilege to drive at all right like when you start saying like you know you keep going back to the hey you know what we should take the way that we treat privileges and treat our rights like that then

you're like ah you know but i find that people are only in favor of that on the second amendment they're only against it honestly in the second amendment they're they're in favor of that with the first minute people are in favor of it being illegal to shout fire in a crowded theater people are in favor of that universally well then that's with the first amendment i don't quite understand this equivalency you're drawing between guns and shouting fire in a crowded theater i'm talking about reasoned reasoned uh limits on them so for, a limit on owning guns is if you've been convicted of a felony or you've committed a crime with a firearm, right? That's a reasonable restraint. That becomes a privilege to that class of citizen. layers like that, perhaps with mental health checks, perhaps with competency, your ability to operate a firearm, right? There's a lot of accidental deaths and there's a lot of people who don't understand even how they

mechanically operate. So adding in additional layers and checks there and then mandating them, making it mandatory in every state that you have those checks and pass those certifications. I classify that under the same category of pragmatic, reasonable limits on a, what should still remain a right. I understand which, okay, that, that clarified it. So, uh, I understand where you're coming from. It's just like, I think what people are more nervous about is already in, like I said, in like New York city or Chicago, like there's so much bureaucratic red tape to getting guns just for the sake of making it difficult but exactly that's that's all that's

all the bad wrong type of legislation that's what people are afraid of it devolving into so when the second amendment is under attack people you know they're they're not they don't want to give up an inch of ground because they can see the writing on the wall of these people don't just want to take away assault rifles. A good percentage of them just want all guns gone. A lot of them do. On both sides of this issue, it's almost like picking sides and taking – and rattling pom-poms like with the Brexit leave versus stay referendum, right? There's some – there's people who – everybody's talking in black and white. No pun intended on race relations. And there's no gray. There's no there's no middle and not enough people are thinking pragmatically. So you have lobbyists and interests who will take studies that simply prove their confirmation bias on this side.

And then on the extreme of the side, it's the exact inverse of that equation. And there's not enough people going, yeah, a lot of the gun laws we're passing now or even debating now are fucking stupid. But that's not to say that there aren't good gun laws to think about and there's not good gun laws to enact. Yeah, I'm actually more aligned with you. That does not mean prohibition. That does not mean confiscation. Again, that's just one of the extremes. I'm actually more aligned with you than it might have sounded earlier because I feel like there might be some reasonable law to pass.

It's just that I never hear those. I always hear like, oh, look, this gun. You hear the sensational. This gun looks like that other gun that's used in the military. We should get rid of it, right? People want to get rid of the black guns all the time because they look like they're tactical and they're scary looking. But it's a dumb way to do it.

People want to get rid of fully auto. It's not even an effective way to do bad things. They're just fun sometimes. I wonder what Kyle said. Kyle, do you know that you muted? It broke. I'm assuming you're saying it broke and he can't figure it out. At first, I thought that he was mouthing words, and now I realize that he can't

speak. He can hear, though. Oh, but there might be some reasonable thing like the the thing like hey let's let's restrict gun rights in the same way that like you know we break our fourth amendment right by having a judge decide you know the judges are good at deciding that's kind of what they do um or something else reasonable. Well... Okay. Not always. I don't know who's better than judges at deciding.

Well, Kyle got disconnected. You guys want to call it a show there? I'm back. There he is. Kyle, did you want to jump in? Did you know that we couldn't hear you at first? No. I was getting mad***ing madder and madder,

and I was about to have to cuss someone out, and it was between Josh and you, and I was just like, why are you ignoring me? At one point, I literally screamed, is my f***ing mic not working? What's your problem? And then I realized it wasn't working,

because it was like the fifth time I'd been talked over, and I was just like I fucking know about this Why are they listening to me from my perspective? I was getting so mad from my perspective We actually were just talking over you right now is our long game trick of like I Thought you're sitting there and mouthing words without actually joining the conversation was a little juvenile that was in my brain I was like you're like you you're passive-aggressively like on your eyes yeah words like like if you mispronounce a name i'll pronounce it correctly or like or if you're or whatever if

we get a thing wrong i'll like say what i think it is or if i disagree to kind of let the audience know that like there's no reason to stop the flow of the show right here, but I'm not cosigning. I kind of give a little visual stimuli. But at that point, yeah, the fucking mic just wasn't working. I'm not sure what happened. I need to look into that. I don't know what's so bad about my cam problems at the beginning of the show. So what did you want to say something, Kyle? Put a period on the end of the show.

I don't even remember back. Put a period on the end of the show. I don't even remember back. I think with the gun law thing, I think they're always coming up with this one or that one. But I think what you really look at is what change are you trying to affect with this gun law? Let's start there. What is it that you think is happening right now that is bad because of the laws that are currently on the books? And how will your new law fix that or change that? And that's where you need to be.

It doesn't need to be statistics. It doesn't need to, you don't need to be worried about if the gun's black, green, or yellow. Just start with what I just said and go from there, because they're going to say, oh, well, it's too easy to acquire these firearms. It's okay. So who's acquiring these firearms going around through your loophole and then committing crimes? Because I read today that one of the guns used in that Paris shooting was part of the whole Fast and Furious scandal where Obama had Eric Holder leaking

weapons using the ATF into Mexico. I mean, if anyone's... I forgot about that. The American citizen is kind of taking care of his own guns. Like Woody's guns are locked up over there. My guns are locked up over here. We acquired our guns the right way. And when they talk about loopholes, God, you can't get too much more into guns than I am. Like it's hard for me to talk to one of my like associates without it being about guns or about gun rights or something like that.

That's what we talk about here. And I'm pretty knowledgeable on it. I don't know what these fucking loopholes are. They keep talking about these loopholes and I'm like, I'd like to get in one of them loopholes. I don't want to do any paperwork. If I could just go somewhere and like, yeah, here's $500. Give me

that firearm. I know it. I don't know where to go. I can go to a gun show and I can look for the guy who's wearing the rifle but what kind of selection am I really getting there? Whenever I see that, it's Milsurp. It's an AR. It's a Mosin-Nagant.

It's a British 303 bush gun. Military surplus. It's World War II, and this is Pathy's old rifle that he's trying to get rid of. I rarely see a guy with a pickup truck full of ARs in the parking lot slinging up a three grand a pop.

Have you seen the It's Always Sunny of it? Where they try and convince themselves that it's really easy to get guns? I feel like the only people who think it's so fucking easy to get guns have never actually bought a gun. It's not like they go in with this, here's a grand in cash, give me the weapons.

Real quick, we are law-abiding citizens who would never do something outrageously stupid to acquire a gun. So for us, it is really, really difficult. So now you're talking about a felon, right? A felon who's trying to acquire a weapon. Not just a felon, but anybody who's just willing to go outside of the law, which people, us in this conversation are not. That makes them felons. It's only felons, really. Or terrorists, I suppose,

who don't necessarily have a criminal record. But people who are up to no good and think they're going to survive the thing they're going to do with the guns. Those are the ones who are trying to get a gun in a nefarious way. And if you're a criminal, then why would a gun stop you?

So ironically, what you were saying is – all you're saying is just reinforcing what me and Woody really were agreeing on, which is these are just – we're sensationalizing debating the wrong laws, the wrong issues. But that doesn't mean there's not right laws. But here's the thing. Anytime anybody in the middle tries to talk about the right laws, the people on the left or the right just sensationalize it and categorize it as one or the other. And so even the good ideas get put into this box that no one wants to hear about anymore. There's a thing.

I don't like it when they call it the gun show loophole. And that's all they call it. There is no gun show loophole. It doesn't exist. I swear to you, I bought three guns at gun shows and you fill out the exact same paperwork. at gun shows and you fill out the exact same paperwork that you do. Hold on. You fill out the exact same paperwork

that you do in a gun store. There's no gun show loophole. What there is, to be fair about this, is a private seller loophole. I can buy from another guy and it doesn't have to happen at a gun show. I don't know if Craigslist allows you to post there, but I'm sure that it happens.

Yeah, they don't. But you could potentially – I don't know. You go to your off-roading club and some guy is selling a gun there. And there is a private seller loophole, if you call it that, where you can just buy a gun off another dude and you don't fill out the same paperwork that you do at a gun show. To be clear, that is illegal. No, it's not. No, it's not. It's absolutely not.

And there is a place where a law could be put in place and it already has been because if you sell a certain number of firearms per year or a certain gross amount of dollars, then clearly you are in the business of selling firearms. It's at least a part,

a substantial part of your income. So you should have to get a federal firearms license. There are other tests too, like if you have a business card. If you have a business card. So the reason why I don't want to talk about complete gun bans and abolishments is because everybody

likes to talk about Australia and how effective it was there, but it's like Australia doesn't have two neighboring countries to the north and south of them who, with this massive border where, you know, you think that, you see what the, what our war on drugs has done to the drug import and export business for Mexico, and you have to imagine that that same problem is going to happen with firearms if we were to ever consider a real ban in the country. Real quick interject, the Australia thing, unless I'm mistaken,

when you actually look up the violent crime stats instead of the gun crime stats, it's pretty similar, and it actually goes up a little bit. It's just because it moved from guns to stabbings, or stabbings to grab a kujel and beat someone to death. A boomerang. A boomerang.

Wall-eye attacks. We're all really just afraid of the mass shootings, even though if you look at the stats, it's more likely you win a Powerball than being involved in a mass shooting. But, you know, it doesn't matter. Everybody's still really, really afraid of that, and that's why we talk about the AR-15, which kills less than 8% or 5%, whatever it is of the people a year in

the country and and it's just... Yeah, this guy in Florida had a SIG. Yeah of course and you we are all weapon you know gun guys right we know that you can get a high capacity magazine in your Glock and you can go out and cause you know just as much damage that a.45 caliber round is gonna do a do just as much to you as a 223 is going to do, right? Or a 556. So, you know, but the mainstream doesn't understand that. And there's too many interests that are just looking to win a vote and they're not interested in actual progress. progress and so whenever i talk on the issue i try to talk about the pragmatic middle the the the reasoned um solutions and the reason steps we can take to solve what is legitimately a problem

there are more people per capita getting hurt and killed by firearms in our country than other countries and there there is a way that we can mitigate more people uh more people drown in houses that own swimming pools i've heard as well oh that. That's true, but again, I don't think that's... It's just not pragmatic to talk about that either, because it's like... One issue I have, I don't like that they lump in the... I think pools is a privilege. I don't like that they lump in the suicide stats with the other ones. And the accidental discharges.

And the other thing that I hate is the one side inflating the mass shooting stats by counting it any time that two people or more are involved in the shot. No one thinks that means mass shooting. You could have fired one bullet and got a collateral. That's not a mass shooting. A murder-suicide is a mass shooting. A gang that just blows by

two dudes in a car is a mass shooting. This is not the same thing, though, as Orlando. Where these statistics and these sensational commercials make it out like an event like orlando happens every day in our country yeah that's not even close they i saw what was on twitter after the orlando shooting where you know obviously everybody's got an agenda in the the few days following shit like that and they were saying you, there have been 990 some odd mass shootings since Sandy Hook killing a total of 1,079

people. And it's like, wait, hold on. Like, I'm not saying that that's good or okay in any way, but somebody's... It's not as scary as you're making it out to be. Yeah, somebody is finagling the numbers and really over there crunching the numbers trying to make it exactly fit their Tetris agenda

of like this is what we need it to be. Meanwhile, 4,000 people have been sucked into cherry harvesters. I thought you were going to cloud suck on that. Alright. I thought this was better than normal gun talk in my opinion.

Yeah. Thank you for coming on josh josh what are you working on lately well i'm working on a bunch of things uh so at 3d realms i'm helping uh uh build out this uh interesting indie uh program that for for publishing indie games again we want to become more friends to indie developers we think that that's where a lot of the innovation is taking place and a lot of the risks are happening so for for just a little incremental help, we can bring a lot more creativity and unlock a tremendous amount of creativity and bring it to more people than ever before. So we'll be talking a little bit more about that later this year. We have our own game coming out as well later this year that

we'll be talking more about. So keep an eye on at 3D Realms on Twitter or me on Twitter. Mine's JD underscore 2020. Um, and then on the side, I'm also doing a bunch of other stuff. I've got a mobile game that I'm working on called boxy kingdom. It's a free to play game. That's like crossy roads, but combined with a dungeon crawler. Um, I'm, I'm working on, uh, a few other mobile titles as well that I can't talk about yet, but I'm just doing a lot of little things and i'm i'm waiting to see what ticks um and what catches uh but yeah i'm i'm far from my days of just being the you know the the one trick pony guy the the call of duty guy right um i still try to be as active in the call of duty community

as i can i try to help advise on esports issues and and um you know a lot of the strife that the community is feeling right now. I try to be active on Reddit and try to be active on Twitter and social media in informing and engaging those issues. I don't want to... Call of Duty is always going to have a special place in my heart, so I don't want anybody to feel like

I've turned my back on that. Cool. And hey, before we wrap up the show, we'll talk about our Patreon. If you guys know, there's a back on that. Cool. And hey, before we wrap up the show and talk about our Patreon, if you guys know there's a link on the side there and for $5 a month you can get access to PKN, the video side of it.

Do I have those backwards? No. $5 to get PKN early. We upload as soon as we finish wrapping. This show will literally be up within like an hour of me saying this right now and available for you. Sometimes that means getting it on a Wednesday night or a Tuesday night because we film out of schedule, but most of the time you're getting it a day

or two early because normally it's up on a Saturday afternoon and we can get it to you on a Thursday night or a Friday morning very early using PKN. That's when you get the early access for $5. For $10 you get that as well as PKN every week, which is the hour-long additional show that we do

where I think we have a lot of fun. And it's a little more casual, a little more laid back, and because we're only filling an hour, it's a little more rapid-fire. I have fun with those. Yep. So check out the PKN, the Patreon on the side. Maybe you'll find something you think is cool.

Check out all of JD2020's stuff. All right. Thank you very much. Anything else, Kyle? Thanks for coming, man. No, that's all I got. Mail me stuff in my P.O. box, 102 Carnesville, Georgia, 30521. All right.

That was PKA 289. Bye, guys.