Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #291

Episode Date: July 22, 2016

This week on PKA,UFC fighter Joe Lauzon returns and the guys all talk about their adventures in Pokemon Go and recapping the events of UFC 200.

KA 291 with our guest Joe Lozon. Kyle? Yeah, I got a few sponsors tonight. I want to thank Dollar Shave Club, Movement Watches, Blue Apron, and a new one here, it seems, CISO Harmony Quest. So we're going to get to all four of those later on. We'll talk about them, explain what they are. Links in the description. But for now, got Joe Lozon on tonight. And he just came off one heck of a victory very entertaining sir i want to be the first one here to tell you um i i always watch your fights and uh and i'm always worried about you because you're my buddy and i you know you're in there fighting with another guy who's a lethal

killing machine himself and you tore the nightmare sanchez apart apart in there that i have never seen i kind of want to go on a little roll here, and I want to get your feedback from what I saw, because I'm definitely an amateur fan if nothing else. Woody knows a lot more about this stuff than I do, but I thought that your boxing was very accurate.

I'm not going to say it's improved, because it's not like I'm watching you box every day, but your boxing looked very good, very accurate. You hurt him, and not only were you hitting him, you were hitting him where you needed to hit him. And then I really liked when you went for the guillotine, and you were like, I don't think it's really even here.

And then you just went back to pounding his ass. I love that because so many times you see fighters, they'll be pounding a guy, beating him up, he's rocked, and they're like, ah, it's time to take, let me get him on the ground now. And they get him on the ground, and then two rounds later, you're waiting on the judges to figure it out. But you didn't do that. I like to think his thought process was,

oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, it's not called submission of the night anymore. I can just hit him to the end. Yeah, I mean, so I thought my boxing was really, really sharp. I thought everything was good. So that was like the accumulation of three camps because I fought Takanori Gomi, who's a southpaw who's a lefty and i did i didn't want to throw hands with him because he just got crazy power just wasn't the smart way to fight him but i made a lot of improvements during that camp then i fought evan dunham again southpaw lefty uh

broke my hand like a couple weeks before the fight so so I couldn't punch at all during that fight. And then Diego Sanchez, third fight in a row, all lefties, all kind of standing on the same track. And, yeah, I mean, it was just, I felt really, really good. Did you feel that going into it? Were you thinking to yourself, like, he might be in some trouble here? This is three camps in a row where I've been training for this kind of fight. I knew that when we started camp, before we even started.

Up until this fight, I had the best camp of my life, the Evan Dunham fight, and then I broke my hand, and I couldn't do anything. I literally couldn't put my hand in my pocket. It hurt so bad. I couldn't do anything. When you go out and fight like that with your hand broken, what's going through your mind? Are you hoping to submit him, to get a victory?

Or are you just going out there and putting on a show because that's what you do? No, I mean, so my hand was sore. But so I got a cortisone shot like 10 days before the fight. And the cortisone shot helped tremendously. It took away like it went from being like a really, really sharp pain where I wanted to like cry to it was kind of like a dull ache and it wasn't a big deal so I could train but they told me you know don't punch anything for a week so I basically for I got to punch stuff for like two days in like the month leading up to the fight for Evan Dunham so uh the whole idea was that you know what I think I can catch this guy I think I can get him with get him

with a punch I think I can you know take him down and submit him he's really Uh, but I thought I had a fighting chance and I'd done the entire camp. I did like two and a half months of training. Uh, and then I got hurt with like, you know, last like three weeks or something. So, uh,

and I knew that if I didn't fight then it was going to be another six months before I could fight again. So, uh, I was, I thought I was thinking about pulling out of the fight. And I talked to my dad who I always ask, you know,

I already like real advice. I go to my dad and he's like, if it know, like, real advice, I go to my dad. And he's like, if it were me, I would suck it up for $80,000. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, I bet everybody in this call is thinking the same thing. Like, you know, I can't imagine, I can't put myself in that position, but I'm just imagining, like, doing an FPS Rush video where I've been paid some large sum of money,

but, you know, the night before, like like I scratched my cornea or something and I can't see out of my fucking eye and it's like it up it's like well I guess I'll shoot left-handed tomorrow you know and hope for the best you know any big boy pants the biggest novice of UFC of three of us yep so how much transparency is there as far as your injury and what the other fighters know? So, like, do they go into it knowing, like, yeah, Joe's hand is fucked, I'm going to be wailing on it, or do they go in and suddenly they're like, oh, something's wrong?

It depends. I think a lot of times when there's, like, those bigger camps, like, say, Greg Jackson's, if someone's injured, I think stuff gets out a little bit more because there's, like, 40 guys that are in and out of there. For my camp, generally not too much, you know, but there's, like, guys that aren't, like, they aren't professionals, that are just hobby out of there uh for my camp generally not too much you know but there's like guys that aren't like they aren't professionals that are just hobbyists and they train at my gym and when i'm hurt they know so i mean let me ask you this because this is a little out there what if what would you do what would your feelings be and what would your reaction be

if some guy who was in your gym let's not someone who's working for you really but you know just a guy at your gym who is in the know because he's there every day, what would you do? What would you think if that guy goes to, say, your opponent and says, hey, Joe's left is hurt. He's dropping it. He can't even hold it up. His left is nothing. It's not even there. He's hurt bad.

His left hand is broken. What would you do? Well, they would get it. They would get it. But they wouldn't know they were getting it right off the bat. It's not like I would go and I would hurt someone tremendously. But they would be but they wouldn't know they were getting it right off the bat like it's not like I would go and I would hurt someone tremendously like but they would be tortured over years I like the control over your body that you have that when most guys say like yeah I'm gonna go fuck him up because there's no

area between you know maiming him and just ruining someone for an untrained guy like me or Kyle or well me or Kyle I Kyle, I guess, because Woody knows a bit more. But if we get in a fight and we win, the other guy's in bad fucking shape. But you know enough that you can be like, ah, let's tweak that. Ah, that's really gonna ruin his week. Alright, I'll see you next week. You know, enjoy trying to sit down. You're gonna be pissing

sitting down for a month. You'll come back and I'll do it again. I imagine it's a very efficient way to beat people up as well. If you know very quickly like, alright, I'm going to give you the old and there we go. I'm a complete jerk. I'm the worst

in the gym. I always do the most asshole stuff. My guys in the gym, they call it Jojitsu, but they also call it Jerjitsu. Because I'm an asshole. If you can do something and be an asshole, that's like my bread and butter. Just making uncomfortable the whole time putting elbows in their thighs and grinding Yeah, we're making them not want to lay lay there with you And they're not thinking about how to grab your wrist or thinking about how to get your elbow off of what hurts so goddamn bad

Now it's really interesting the contrast between your training style and and jerk jitsu Joe jitsu and what I see from you in the ring, because I have never, and it's not that I watch every single fight, but I watch enough that I would have noticed this if it happened more than just with you. When you're beating a guy up, you don't want to cripple that guy. You don't want that guy to be ruined. You don't want to end his career.

You just want to win, get out of the ring, collect your check, and put on a show for the fans. I saw you hitting Sanchez, and you're looking back like is that enough all right boom is that enough boom is that enough all right we're good i got my victory let me go sit sit on the side of the ring go me too the guy we fight same thing joe go me the same he's like he's out come on he's out you know joe cares more about the other guy like the ref right joe the ref flows on i see so many fighters who when they know they've caught the guy and the guy is just going down like a tree like timber they're coming in with that last

hammer fist and they're aiming they want to smash his nose and they want to make him look bad they're like in the post in the post fight conference you're gonna look like shit and they're coming in my my ultimate goal is generally you, get the referee to save this guy. You know, that's my goal. It's not that I'm trying to hurt someone. I'm trying to at least cripple them or main them or whatever. Like, I want the referee to save him. That is always the goal.

So whatever I have to do to make that happen, you know, ASAP. I love that about you. I love that about you. And I think that, like, to me, you're one of the best sportsmen who in the in the entire fighting game because of what i saw you do with the gomi fight and what i saw you do with sanchez that that to me i i'm like wow like that guy's not only going out there and performing at this high level entertaining us putting his body on the line etc etc you know it's not like you're doing this for free or anything but not only are you doing all that for us,

not only are you doing that, but in the back of your head, you're like, you would almost, I bet you would rather take a loss than injure a guy permanently. Maybe you're not that nice. You're right, though.

I would feel terrible if I wouldn't paralyze someone or something like that. One of my least favorite things about UFC is exactly what Kyle was just talking about, what you didn't do, where I watched you just beating the shit out of that guy. And because I know you, it's kind of like I'm doing it. And so I'm like, yeah, show him what's what. And you kept hitting him, and then it was kind of like, all right, it's done.

The guy's still a little bit standing up, woozy, fucked up. He's done, clearly. I hate all of the fights that end. Have you ever watched a clip of chimpanzees when a foreign chimp comes into the mix, and it's just bananas, and that chimp is completely incapacitated. Its testicles and penis have been torn off.

No hands, no feet. And then they start eating it from the inside. That's the way I feel when I see those heavyweights. Like, The guy's jaw is cockeyed, laying on the ground. He's like, ah! With his big ham fist, just ruining it. You should always fight

until the referee tells you to stop. You have stopped before. Yeah, I know. In hindsight, I think that was a mistake. I think I shouldn't have done that. I think you earned more fans because you do things like that than you ever would. I think that was a mistake. I think I shouldn't have done that. I think you earned more fans because you do things like that than you ever would, and I think it's worth

the risk. It means so much. When I see that, it sets you apart from everyone else in that game so much because I don't see anyone doing that. I don't see anyone giving a fuck about the other guy on the ground. Do you know the backstory of mark

hunt what do you do you know that do you know that story why he walks away yeah no tell me um so and this is this is public this is not from this is not like personal info i have uh but i guess uh so him and i don't know if it was his sister or someone but but basically he had like a really abusive dad and his dad you know he used to get the shit kicked out of him like he's a little kid to mark hunt yes okay so um so you know he he said that you know he would never ever ever you know want to hit someone you know when they're that defensive it's like it brings him back to being like a little kid he's like that kid that's all fucked up and broken and yeah it's not a fight anymore it's abuse it's you're it's you know he can't defend himself and you're just getting your licks in and we can all relate to that a little bit from just video games, right?

There's always that boss or whatever with the big shield up and he's been like – and finally get the shield down and he's knocked out in a little woozy and it's like, oh, now it's time to pour it on. Now it's time to pour it on. But it's not a video game. It's another man over there across the ring with a family, with kids, with fans of his own.

He doesn't want to be humiliated out there. I like how you do business and it means a lot to me to see it. And I, I would hope that anyone who's a fight fan or, or a sports fan would be a fan of yours just because of that in particular, not, not only that, but you go at people like a bat out of hell. Rogan always praises you for that. Like this is Joe Lozon we got out here. He, uh, he's not going to hold back and dance and try to get some like judge's decision decision he's going to fuck that guy up or to get fucked up and either way it's going to be a great fucking show i try to find that sweet spot where speed meets brutality dude what was just as cool as the cutting back was the post-fight interview like they they they set it up in kind of a weird way they're like you and diego are old friends. I'm like, friendly, I guess, but anyway.

And they're like, do you think that he should retire? Yeah, it's weird. I hate that stuff. Yeah, but you crushed the question, right? I don't know if he wants to. Yeah, so what Joe said, if you guys didn't see it, was something real close to like, you know what? He had a bad night.

You know, I hate that. Whenever I have a night that doesn't go my way they start asking you know how many do you have left in you and i don't know if you want to take over from here but yeah yeah so basically anytime i've had a bad fight you know they you know people say oh how many how many fights you have left even leading up to this fight you know like so my last fight wasn't very good uh i lost the decision i was i was in the fight the entire time despite you know not training for a month before uh you know but people don't but people don't get that they they just see the you know the kind of you know borderline bad performance

like they start to think oh you're washed up like this is it you know you're all done like why do you keep doing this blah blah blah and then on saturday you know i had the best fight i've ever had and you know so it's not a sign of someone that's on the decline that's a sign of someone that is you know is is being competitive someone that is being competitive. It was my night. It was my night. I agree so much. I agree so much. I feel like there's this status quo of everybody feeds into that idea that, oh, he lost one fight. He's no good anymore. Should he retire now? Maybe he's got one more in him. I don't know. But yeah, he's definitely slowed down. Look at him doing this. That's clearly a sign that his skills have degraded, that age has taken hold.

And it's like, well, maybe he just had something in his eye and he didn't see that punch coming. Maybe his girlfriend broke up with him last night. Maybe he's got a broken fucking hand or a pulled hamstring and he can't get out of the way of that kick. I don't know. Diego's got a couple of things going against him. One, his last 10 fights, I think he's won four split decisions that people thought shouldn't have gone his way.

So it's like he's more like... A lot of people think that he's more like two and eight in his last 10, which that makes you look at where... But it's always the people who disagree that are the most vulnerable. Oh, absolutely. Always. And then on top of that he's fucking crazy like

i like that about it no that's that's a positive he's always been that way he's super positive he's super like he's like i feel fantastic yes he's screaming but you know he's been like that since the ultimate fighter wonders like 2004 like this is nothing new yeah so i watched him coming into the ring i watched him before the fight. I watched him before the fight. I watched him at the weigh-ins. Him, both of you, but I'm just thinking of him. And he's a really good showman. He comes out like a wild man.

He's got a little bit of WWE showmanship to him. He's coming out there growling at you and stuff, screaming. You're not right. The whole thing. The thing is, it's not a show. He's like that all the time. No, he's not. No, he's not. Because right after Joe was done with him, he was teary-eyed and somber.

He was accepting of what had just happened to him. He was concussed. Yeah. Well, maybe that's a good – well, during his concussed state, he was not a wild man. He looked at the camera right before they raised Joe's hand. The camera kind of pans over Diego. And for a reaction, he just looks at it, a bit teary-eyed, very serious face. And he just goes, no.

Didn't have it tonight. No. There was none of that. Oh, yeah! Next time! No pro wrestler after the fight. No pro before. It's tough.

Because they Go back and I went back. This was last night and the night before. I went back and looked. I got all his Instagram stuff and Twitter videos and stuff like that. He's just like super fucking positive. He's doing this for recovery. He's doing ice baths

and he's freaking chanting in the ice bath and being a maniac. I'm a pussy. I'm such a pussy. I can't do ice. I've done two before, and they are so effective. I'm sure they are. I'm not telling you anything you probably don't know. I mean, you fucking deal with people who are literally

experts in this shit and do it for a living. But I remember in weightlifting, it was a punishment one time. The football team did it regularly. The football team did ice baths after every practice. And some of them could stay in for several minutes. Some would get in and jump right back out. But I stayed in there for several minutes one time after a hard workout. And man, I just felt rejuvenated the next day. There was no muscle soreness, no acid buildup. I didn't feel,

I felt strong again too. It wasn't like I needed to recover. It helped a lot. But yeah, it was awful. But in the moment, it feels like literal torture. Like you're sitting in there, and because nobody is standing around you saying you can't get out, you're like, this is okay, I can deal with this because I know I can get out at any time.

But if somebody came over as you're sitting in an ice bath, and they're a big, strong guy, and they put their hand on top of your head and they push you down, you would immediately go into just blind panic,ailing mode because you lose you can't i hyperventilate with cold water oh yeah you just as soon as you get i'm such a pussy with the cold you know but but diego's doing all this crazy stuff and he's like you know freaking doing ice baths and he's doing all this stuff for recovery and stuff like that and then there's me i'm eating

fucking cheeseburgers freaking playing xbox and you know what i mean like everyone's just different he he had to he has to you know kind of psych himself up on all that stuff and i'm i just say relax like go back like 11 years whatever it is on ultimate fighter one he's doing those yes cartwheels yeah right yeah like he's crazy it's not like this is like his new thing no he's just wired that way man he's gotten progressively crazier because of getting the shit kicked out of him no i think i think he's i think he's pretty much the same you know i saw i was watching videos uh he's doing yes cut reels for ariel hawani and he almost completely ate shit it was like day before wayne or something like that and he almost like cut reeled into a table or something like so close imagine he snaps his ankle dude it could happen that's how it

happens that's how stupid injuries happen and and that, like, alright, so I know that when, I followed the Jones-Cormier stuff. It's all my fault. It's all my fault. But you jinxed it. I saw that too. So like, so correct me when I'm

wrong here. So apparently, because John Jones tested positive for, let's just call it steroids, you know, they had to bring in a replacement to fight Cormier, and it seemed like the Nevada Gaming Commissioner, whoever cut his prize in half, so instead of a million dollar payday, Cormier's getting

half a million? That's awful. I didn't hear that. I don't think that they would cut his money like that. I just think it's more so pay-per-view. I think it's because his pay-per-view cut, he probably makes less. The way I understood it was that it was a Nevada Gaming Commission type thing that because the first opponent is out,

that for some reason now Cormier gets half as much money. And it was literally half, like not 50% exactly. I love Chael. I love Chael, but just because chail said it doesn't mean that it's true don't you dare say that joe lozanne i read it online i love chail and uh and i agree that chail may not be the most uh the best source uh for anything really uh other than other than funniness uh he's a funny guy. I've never had pay-per-view percentage or anything like that, but I do know that a lot of contracts

are written. You get so much for show, you get so much for win, and then you get so much that's based on pay-per-view or whatever's going to go on. Maybe there was something in Cormier's contract about if he were the main event, maybe that's why. If you're main event, you get this.

Maybe he got a percentage of the gate. If you're not, then you get this. Maybe that was part of it. Maybe that was the reason for the cut. Regardless, he took a big pay cut because of that. I guess my next question was, if he breaks his ankle doing a cartwheel, what happens to your money? I don't need specifics, but

percentage-wise, what happens? It depends. Usually with the UFC, if it were me, they would pay me. happens to your money like i don't need specifics but percentage wise what happens um so it depends uh usually with the ufc uh if it were me they would pay me you know if there was someone that's like making my kind of money what your show money or your show money i would get my show money i think i get my reebok money too because i think that as far as the maybe not necessarily it would depend if i weighed in if i weighed in then i get my rebar money for sure uh if i didn't weigh in i think i would not get my rebar money but it depends you know like um i think dana was talking about as far as cormier goes you know if they had an opponent for him then they would still give him his his uh obviously you get his money but if he didn't if he wasn't fighting they would not give

him his show money because now you're that's a huge nut you know you're talking you know uh eight hundred thousand dollars or seven hundred thousand dollars or whatever his number is you know that's a huge nut. You're talking $800,000 or $700,000 or whatever his number is. That's not a small amount. It's a little more than that from what I heard. The way Chael says it – oh, I'm sorry, Kyle. You want to finish your thought? No, go ahead. Yeah, Chael is like, you know what?

When you get at that level, right, when you're like a champion and you're getting the pay-per-view and all that fun stuff, this is a partnership. And in these partnerships, you can win and you can lose too. And when a guy like Jon Jones pulls out of your fight, sometimes you don't get what you were going to get anyway. Don't give him that much credit. That's too kind to say that he pulled out of the fight. Oh, I didn't.

All right. So what he did is he pulled out of the fight. Do it because their father died the night before or because they literally broke a big bone. You know, he was pulled out of the fight because he's a fucking cheater the rumor is john jones tested positive for two estrogen blockers and there you go estrogen blockers are an interesting thing to get caught for i'm kind of outside my expertise but it's post it's post-steroidal uh right so the thing i was going to say is um the estrogen blockers themselves don't really help you right like maybe kickstart your endocrine system

so you can start producing your own testosterone, but they're not really performance-enhancing drugs, which is an interesting thing. I think Joe wants to jump in. So the thing is they're indicative of the fact that he did take performance-enhancing drugs, so that's a thing. On top of that,

you don't really catch estrogen blockers in many supplements. It's not like you take some weight gain powder and they slip in some estrogen blockers too. No, if there was a supplement, it might slip in something that is actually a performance enhancer so that you're like, dude, whenever I take this stuff, I'm the super me.

But they never slip in estrogen blockers, or at least it's very rare. So my knowledge is pretty limited like I don't I don't do much like I would take like protein and like you know like um glutamine and that's pretty much it that's the extent of like anything I would take like I don't like I don't take anything so my knowledge is not as deep as someone that does a lot more but um the way I understand it is like you said there's there's almost never estrogen blockers in any kind of normal product a lot of time with these tainted supplements like someone tested positive for something recently and they ruled it down to is, like you said, there's almost never estrogen blockers in any kind of normal product. A lot of times it's tainted supplements. Someone tested positive for something recently

and they ruled it down to tainted supplement. Yo Romero. Is he the one that had the HGH mask? Yo Romero got tested and turned out to be a supplement. There's been a couple guys. I think it wasn't him. I think it was someone else. There's been lots of stuff. I used to take

that stuff Mark McGuire took. And we all started taking it because Mark McGuire took it. No, not creatine. Well, we all should have. He was a hero. Oh, okay. The stuff that he was taking before that, that was street legal but shouldn't have been. But the estrogen blockers, yeah, what that is is totally a post, what do they call it?

It's like a post-cycle. Cycle, yeah. It's a post-cycle treatment so you don't get bitch tits,'t lose your hair don't break out with acne don't get all those awful things i think part of it too is to get your your own uh system producing testosterone again because you overload your system with testosterone and now your body doesn't think it doesn't have to produce it so you have to give it the estrogen to get to kick up that your own your natural production of testosterone we used to take an over-the-counter called T-Bomb 2 that was supposedly a testosterone booster slash estrogen blocker. And it seems like bullshit to me, but man, when we would take that stuff, we'd be really aggressive. We'd sweat five times

more than normally. And I always felt like we got stronger faster. But I just remember that that was one of the components of that. And then when I was doing a little research into steroids later on, the first thing that I found was all the side effects. And it's like, whoa, how do you avoid the side effects? And then – so things like those estrogen treatments and stuff like that are how you avoid the side effects hopefully in the long run. But what a fucking shithead. The big thing is that he has not come out and said what it is. They've done everything they could to avoid answering that question. It's like, how do you go to a press like so the big thing was

they had a press conference and they didn't they didn't give any information that we didn't have before you know so if you know if you go if i'm going to a press conference right and i tested positive for some steroid i'm probably gonna bring it on a piece of paper and i'm gonna freaking try and phonetically sign it out like you know whatever it, whatever it is. You know, I'm not going to be like, I can't even say it. I don't even know. You know, so the fact that, you know, they didn't disclose it is indicative that, you know,

he's doing something that's major that he should have known. And then the fact that they didn't mention anything about the B sample when, you know, they said that they had the results of the B sample, but they didn't come out and say it. So you know that he definitely has a ball. They eventually came out with a B sample. It was positive, too.

Yeah, yeah. days later, though. I felt like, you know, it was like, I think it was like Thursday night was when they had results, and we didn't hear until, I think, Saturday or Sunday. Uh-huh, yeah, because it makes him look bad, makes a lot of stuff look bad. Real shitty, real shitty of him. You know, UFC 200 was great without him anyway,

but it could have been a little bit better. I thought it was great. I really liked the... So Cormier, in my opinion, and I doubt this is a rare opinion, most of us probably have it, he was so happy not to lose that winning wasn't the most important thing to him in that fight.

It was not losing. That was a just get through it kind of performance. You know, there's a really good... Because if he loses, it's catastrophic, through it kind of performance you know there's a really good loses it's catastrophic i think is what he said there's a really good uh i think it was a dan john article who's like a strength edition coach i think it was him and he talked about how like you know he would you know work out with all these like olympic power lifters and stuff like that and like somebody's going to the gym you just feel like shit and you know he'd say okay you know he learned from working with all these guys like two days you feel like you're world champion you can crush anything you have like three days where you feel

like the worst piece of shit ever and then you have like four or five days where it's just to get through it you know for dan cormier it was just this was just to get through it you know such an emotion dump you know not knowing if you're even fighting right because for it was like a day where they didn't know if he's even gonna still had to cut still had to cut weight still gonna be cutting weight you know like and you can't tell me there's nothing he wanted to do more than to go and tear out some popeye's chicken and just destroy a bunch of food i got a video says the man likes cake yeah you're so emotional you're so emotional you know you just want to you know what are you gonna do

that's gonna you know kind of you know help yourself you ease yourself a little bit you know ease your mind that's what makes me a fan of sportsmen in general is when i get to see what i saw when dana told cormier that there would be no fight or that there would be no john jones fight when i saw that and i saw him just don't do this to me dana don't do this oh me, Dana. Don't do this. Can't I just sign something and fight him anyway? I don't care if you give him a stick. This is what I've trained for. In hindsight,

I think it's good that he didn't fight Jon Jones because he did not look very good. I don't know if it was the emotion dump or what, but he went from doing a five-fives against Jon Jones who did an entire camp to looking very tired at the end of the third that kick he took not didn't seem to like it it hurt him a lot yeah i don't think it hurt him like maybe i don't think it hurt his performance you know in later rounds or what or

later on in the fight but man the pain of it clearly was just something that he was not prepared for that's that's one of the shots that like you get one of those like you just go down to your knees i saw you take one of those that like you just go down on your knees. I saw you take one of those that was pretty good. That body kick he put on you, and then that leg kick immediately after. I watched, and I see those two things happen, and we've talked about this before about leg kicks,

because I see them a lot, and I think I've asked you before, like, those hurt, right? Like, even you? And you're like, fuck yeah! Because I got kicked like that one time one time somebody kicked me like that and i was like well we don't do that anymore like what is this what am i jean claude van damme kicking bamboo trees down in my backyard no i can feel that shit dude as a casual

watcher you underestimate the amount of pain all of those maneuvers do yeah so like i was i was watching someone like i think we mentioned earlier, that elbow and the top of the thigh. It's just horrible. You just watch little moves like that when the fighters are doing them. That's not a punch to the head. There's not blood everywhere. They're fine.

I walk into a high-top table and it hits me in the thigh going three miles an hour and I'm just like it sucks one of my coaches uh joe poffert was he was adamant that like he thought diego like was gonna be like his primary way to attack was gonna kick kick kick so we did tons of like kick defense stuff and i got kicked in the body so many times during camp but um he kicked me in the body the first time and kind of like i didn't expect him to open up with it. I expected that to happen later, but I didn't expect him to open up with it.

But he opened up with a body kick. Kind of pissed me off a little bit. Then he kicked me in the knee, and it looked the exact same way. I thought he was going to kick to the body. I was trying to beat him with my right hand. So basically, instead of me just checking his kick over and over and over, I tried to make him pay for kicking me. That was why he kind of kicked my leg out and kind of pissed me off.

Then things went downhill for him. It went downhill right away. Joe, have you seen the Misha Tate weight cut photo? Yeah, that's typical. That was the question. Let me show it to people. But a lot of people are making a real big deal out of this weight cut photo. And I don't know.

I feel like I've seen this scene on Tuff 10 times. Before I see it is it that she's very cut and dehydrated looking no she needs a break you know she's she's probably very hot i bet her core temperature is high she probably has a headache joe what's she going through so she she's feeling like shit she's feeling uh you start getting like cramps like in your back and you know you just feel. You have no energy. You get dizzy. It's a crappy, terrible feeling, but you know what? That's what happens

when you dehydrate quite a bit. That doesn't raise your eyebrows at all. You look like that some cuts too? Not that bad, but pretty close to that bad. You look good when you cut. I don't cut a ton of weight. I still cut 12 pounds. There's 12 or 13 pounds. You turn into action you cut. I don't cut a ton of weight. I still cut 12 pounds.

There's 12 or 13 pounds. You turn into Action Hero Joe. Suck it up. Act like a pussy. It's not going to help anything. When your job is fighting other professional fighters and someone asks you, so do you feel queasy beforehand?

You haven't drank much water? Do you get the tum-tum rumbles? You're like, no, that 6'4 man who trained to beat my ass for six months is about to fight me. So, no, I'm not really that concerned. Yeah, it sucks. But you just got to understand this is what happens. This is the way it goes. Now, this may give away the fact that I tend to only watch Joe's fights in a lot of these.

But did Lesnar win? I don't even know. Yeah, he won. And the fight went a lot longer than I thought it was going to go. I thought the first 90 seconds would be decided. Then Marcant was going to knock him out. He was going to take down Marcant and the fight would be over. I thought Hunt was going to win. I thought that

he's got bombs in his hands. I thought he would throw one at Lesnar. He'd immediately start doing that ducking kind of don't hit me thing that I'm sure I would do even more. And that's how it was going to go. He was just going to chase him down with super accurate bombs. But nope.

I thought Marcon was going to win until the weigh-ins. And then I realized how much bigger Brock was. Dude, that's odd. I thought Cormier was going to toy with him until I saw him in the octagon. And then I realized Anderson Silva is not a small 205-er. Well, he is a small 205-er. So he was walking at 198. Okay, well, undoubtedly.

But didn't he look the same size in the ring? Am I crazy? Am I the only one who thought that? The big thing is Anderson is just very, very lean and has a huge frame. And Cormier is kind of short and a lot thicker. But the good thing for Anderson is that he loves to play the counterpuncher role. He's had tons of fights where it was kind of boring. Anderson's had some great knockouts, but he's had some super, super boring fights too

where it's like watching paint dry. Diaz, Maya, I don't know what else. Tyler's late. There's been a bunch. To be a counter-puncher is no effort at all compared to being someone that's active and coming forward.

It worked out in his favor. I thought at the time, three rounds, that's way better for Anderson because he's not in very good shape. I think else i think in hindsight i think it would have been better for him having a five round fight because cormier looked really tired and and that would give anderson at least five you know five rounds to start on the feet you know so i didn't think cormier was gonna stop him so you just came off this victory uh it's gotta feel amazing i can't imagine um so are you spending more time in at your gym right now or at a Pokegym?

Do you have a Pokemon gym at your gym? No, but I tweeted at them. I tweeted at them. I thought I wanted a gym, but now I realize I want a Pokestop. Exactly. Yeah. You don't want to have to be tying up all your time defending that fucker. Yeah, exactly, exactly.

What level are you? I'm not very high. Can we see your roster? Yeah, we can do that. I think I'm level 15. I've got about 32 Pokemon. I haven't... I beat everybody up at my local gym,

which is a Methodist church. I haven't even done a battle yet. I'm just leveling up. I know it doesn't matter. Yeah, yeah. I was not prepared for my battle. I won it, but then I forgot to claim the gym by leaving a place. I don't even know what's involved.

Yeah, I do now. There's just a couple more buttons. But the combat is actually pretty fun. I'm dancing around his Vaporeon, squirting it with with my vapor e on and I'm dodging left and right because we're evenly matched and I gotta say this game is a pretty close on Joe who's your just who's your top three there we go he's got a vapor e on in there with a 772 cc 772 CP Joe Kyle's Kyle's got 900. Got a gloom. We're up to 1,200 now.

My bad. I'm going off yesterday. Let me see what level I am. I'm not a very high level, though. I'm like 14. Yeah, it gets progressively harder to level up more and more XP for each level. I'm really loving this game. How much money have you spent?

You're like me. Yeah, $30. Initially, I spent 20 of it because i ran out of pokeballs and i asked chiz i was like i'm out of pokeballs what do i do and he immediately types back buy more and i thought like that's the only way to get more like you were just wasteful kyle you should have spread them out more so i just bought more now i realize you can drive around go to these pokey stops spin the little wheel and it'll i didn't understand that at the time either i think i was so i wasn't so best time to start this game i start like when i'm like two days out from cutting weight so i start freaking like i'm

playing this game and like none of the guys that are with me they understand like what's going on you know like they just they don't understand they keep hearing this stupid pokemon music and like i keep telling them to slow down. I'm driving, but I'm slowing down. They're like, why the fuck do you keep slowing down? Like, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. They're getting pissed.

I can tell that they're getting pissed, and they're getting very concerned because I'm supposed to be focused on Diego Sanchez, and instead I'm trying to track down fucking Rhyhorn who's running down the fucking road. Yeah. Yeah, I've almost gotten a few traffic accidents, I'm going to be completely honest. I've gotten better, but the first day or two, I was very reckless and irresponsible catching these Pokemon,

because I didn't understand exactly how it worked. So I'd be driving down the road, and I'd be like, oh shit, fucking fuck the wheel. I've got to get this Charizard. And for some what for some reason one of them i had to turn around and face the rear window to catch him so i'm driving flicking pokeballs i turned off i turned off the auto vr that was like the first thing outside like not in a car the auto augmented reality is a terrible idea yeah like it just makes it so much more difficult. It's cool. Me and Chiz both had the advantage of being in urban areas so we can just go a little bit and get a Pokestop or a gym or whatever.

Kyle lives in East Jesus nowhere, and so he has nowhere near. Man, it's a real struggle. You texted me back. We were all, me, Chiz, and you were talking about it, me and Chiz. You were getting pissed that Chiz was sitting in his house in California and being able to just collect Pokemon from there, basically.

And so you went out and you were texting us like, oh, I got this one, I got that one, oh, I got this one now, I got that, and I was just like, what are you doing now that you're getting all these Pokemon? You're like, well, I just hop on the highway, cruise control at 45, and just catch as many as I can.

I turned the lure on, threw out some lucky eggs, 45 miles per hour down a not-so-traveled road and catch all I can. What's the best way for you guys to hatch eggs? Because I tried the fan thing, and it did not work well. You've got to run, man. You've got to run. I hate running. At first, I was like...

I'll go buy a bike before I'm going to run. If you drive around at 9 miles an hour, it counts can if i can just kind of coast and pedal very slow it depends it depends on a lot of factors but i tried using a golf cart and it kept losing gps reception i tried using my vehicle and parking lots doing laps finally i was like i got six eggs in here that only need one k to go and i just went out last night i told taylor i'm like I'm gonna go hatch some eggs and I just went out literally into the darkness cuz I got no lights here and just started jogging I I ran 2k last night just just knocked it out hatched a bunch of eggs got myself what's the lion thing with like two tails okay I got that thing I got it I the Tauros. Oh, Taurus. He's a bull. He's supposed to be a bull. Okay, I got that thing.

I got an ivy. Taurus, meaning bull. Yeah, I caught an ivy sword today. I got a bunch of stuff. Ivy sword. That's a good one. Bulbasaur falls into that. I know.

Yeah, yeah. You skipped one, didn't you? I did. You don't even have Bulbasaur yet. I have a Bulbasaur, but he's like a 280 CP, but I picked up an ivy sword today at Mickey D's, which is the place to go, let me tell you. He's a rough customer. There's going to be some gyms in trouble.

Obviously, I go to my gym all the time. I have tons of people that like running. I don't like running. I'm going to get all my guys to pull their guys. I have one guy put on a backpack, and he's going to run with six or seven people. I'll give you $10. We'll give you ten bucks.

You go run ten kilometers. Go on a 45-minute run, come back. We'll have 40 hatch eggs. Catch everybody's eggs. That's a great idea. Everybody's phones will be dead in a backpack. I'll tell you what's really upsetting me, and as I see, because they post it a lot on the Pokemon subreddit,

is the people on Facebook who hate this game and the idea of it. It's hilarious. Because here's the thing about this video game in particular, this game. First of all, it's free. It's free to play, so don't tell me I'm wasting my money. It's a dollar, right? Am I wrong? It's free. It's free. So it's free to

play, so I'm not wasting any money unless I choose to. And the other thing is it gets you out of the house and walking around unless you're Chiz. And I've literally got some exercise last night. I wasn't going to go out and run 2K at 11 p.m. You'll hatch those eggs. But I had to hatch those eggs.

Also, I'm meeting people who are also into it. Now, I'm not really in the market for a new buddy or anything, but if I were, if I were, if I was a 16-, 17-, 18-year-old dude who was in a new place or something and didn't have a lot of friends, man, I'm parked outside of the Methodist church because that's a

pokey stop. There's three cars with me and they're not there for Jesus. They're there for mobile service. Do girls play this game? Yeah. There's too many people play this for a lot of girls not to. There's probably 30 people from my gym that are all playing it.

We're all in different colors. What color did you guys choose? Red. Red. I thought you were talking about races. Like, oh, it's such a wonderful humanitarian game. We're all different colors. Oh, no, no, no.

Well, I chose to be a genderqueer Asian American. But I think it's better. So everyone in my gym is all kind of split up. So they're all different colors. I think it's going to be better because I think that when I do get a poke a gym at my actual gym We're gonna be fighting each other for it. Which would be awesome. What team are you I went blue Cuz I Lou is the most common team I thought it was red, but she sent me some some data in the form of him typing it out on Skype

Team yellow is just just limping along I don't see hardly any yellow gyms that have been conquered here and if they are, it's like a sad little gym where red and blue were like oh let them have one I'm sure they're gonna make it so we can pay a couple dollars

and we can change our gym color or something it'll come probably next week then there'll be no yellows left there'll be no yellows left. There'll be no yellows. I'm hoping that they allow us to start either battling each other without being local. I want to fight Taylor for his Pokemon. That's the game that I want this to evolve to. Wager matches.

I want wager matches where... We talked about this earlier, and maybe there's a couple different kinds of wager matches. Of course there's one where Taylor and I put our best against each other, our best three, best five, whatever, and the winner gets some XP, some eggs, whatever. But what I really want to do is play

for pink slips. Like, you know, I want to play for our Pokemon. My Squirtle against your Bulbasaur, the winner gets the other guy's Pokemon and takes it. You don't want to do that. You have a short memory your Bulbasaur, the winner, gets the other guy's Pokemon and takes it. You don't remember the lag on Black Ops or anything like that where there's a little bit of lag and you got fucked.

You lose your 1200 CP Vaporeon and you see what happens. I would love to battle you right now for all your Pokemon. No, I would not fight you because I've got nothing. I've just got my water Pokemon and like

and he's the only one that's powerful. Everybody else is mid-tier. I wouldn't risk it. I 100%. I would not do that wager match. It's a lot of time. Like, I look at that Vaporeon in this stupid little screen over here and he's just a blue little cartoon character but there's hours of Eevees

that were collected and cashed in to make that piece of shit. So that's what's addictive about the game. It's got that RPG quality. If you're out there listening to this and you're not into it yet, you think it's kind of lame, maybe you're not into Pokemon. I wasn't into Pokemon either. But I always have been into going into dungeons and Fallout, Skyrim, Elder Scrolls games, all that stuff. And getting that helmet, getting that key, getting that skull that lets you open the door and those things

I love to grind and I love to see my time and effort turn into something not necessarily tangible but something that has value to me in the long run. I was telling Taylor the other night, how many endless hours have I spent grinding

on leaderboards that I'll never look at again? But I still got a good feeling. Sitting on your ass. As opposed to now, Pokemon Go, they're trying to get us moving. At least now, you're driving around getting in accidents. That's the thing. I'm not into

Pokemon Go, right? And I'm not in it in a pretty strong way. It just seems so stupid to me. But the thing is... No, let me finish. That's such a contrarian thing to say. There's no evidence for it. You're just saying to be different, I think. Why do you hate it? Because it's a game that gets people

outside and they're having fun playing it. Let me finish my thought. So, it seems incredibly dumb, but the thing is, I've participated in lots of incredibly dumb things before. And I shouldn't be, like, passing judgment. When I first played Call of Duty, I found myself, like, negative over 5,000 deaths, right? And I was like, I'm going to get my KD up to 1.

I was just learning to play. It seemed like everyone was good when I first started. And I would grind away night after night after night after night until I finally was a positive KD player. Which meant that every night I had to have a 2-1 KD just to get back, just to make progress. So as silly as Pokemon Go seems to me, I've done dumber. Maybe I'd like it. It's dumb, but it's fun. And you can be active.

Kyle and I are out driving around you know for like two hours at night you know on quiet roads but when i'm past that stage i'll still just play the game on and off just dicking around like it'll be a game that i'll be playing forever i mean i still catch ratatas in my bathroom all night long you know there's pokemon in my house and stuff i see that there are some dirty cheaters out there who are are logging in from their computer and then altering the GPS coordinates so that they're traveling virtually. I was tempted to do it. I was tempted to do it.

It'll ruin the game for you. You know it will. Yeah, I do. Just take a walk. I'm more worried about getting banned. I'm more worried about getting banned. The gym thing is... You haven't fought a gym yet, Joe,

but basically, when you take a gym, you have to, you know, beat their whole lineup, and then you have to regroup, heal all your guys back up, take on the lineup again, and then heal up. So if it's like a level 3 gym, you take it down, you beat them all once, you take it down to level 2. You beat them all again, you take it down to level 1.

Beat them all again, you take over the gym, and you have to leave a Pokemon there to defend it and hope that more people from your team come by and bolster your little lineup so i put a 1400 uh flary on at a gym today and i thought it was going to be there for at least like i don't know 90 minutes but i get back from lunch and check and it's like fuck this thing got beat immediately so all the reading and stuff I'm doing, people are saying that you're better off

to not try to take a gym and hold a gym. You're just better to just go in there, wipe everyone out, and move on. Because otherwise, that Flareon, you can't use that to attack other gyms because you have to leave it somewhere. And just the reward for doing that is just not really worth it.

You're better off to go and smash six other gyms. Yeah, I don't like being able to see my Pokemon on the landscape. I'm going to put low-level Pokemon in there, because it's going to... I'm in such a remote area and everything, and all of my Pokegyms, and I'd love to know what algorithm picked

where the gyms are and all those locations, because they're all churches. All of them, without fail, are churches. And so, they just don't have that much foot traffic, I think. think i'm gonna i'm gonna take the methodist church near me i'm gonna like leave some low level ratata in there to guard it and if they take it the next day they take it i'll still get xp overnight and i'll still get to hang on to my florian so no no you get you get the pokemon back you get it back when i know you get back eventually but like i want it so i can go like fight another gym or something because there's like two Snorlaxes holding Livonia down,

and I can't be having that. So the company that made the Pokemon game, it's Niantic, but it's also a company called Ingress. And they did some game, and it was an older game, and they recycled all the data and all the spawn points and all that stuff. So if you go and you download the app, the Ingress app that you find in the app store, you can see a much better detailed thing about basically shows you where spawn points are and where things are likely to be.

So like when I'm in my house, I'm constantly seeing this stupid little freaking kingler. It's in my thing. It's like three paws away, right? And I don't really know where it is. Like I walked down the street. It wasn't there. I went the other way. It wasn't there.

I went a couple other ways. It wasn't there. But then I downloaded this Inress game and i could see it's like it was like almost like between the two different streets so i kind of went down there and kind of just hung out like kind of hung out like right in the middle and then it popped up for me so you can see almost like a scattergram or something uh you know where the likely spots to be there's also uh for our listeners out there if you're maybe you're interested in this it didn't interest me but there's a messenger to accompany Pokemon Go

so that if anyone near you is within proximity, you can text with them using that app. So that's kind of neat. There's going to be so many people at events like PAX and E3, all those big gaming conventions and stuff, when you've got

100,000 people coming into town, and everybody's just going to be fucking catching Pokemon. It's going to be great. I don't think this is going to go anywhere. And I think Nintendo stock has already went up like 20-25% or something crazy like that. And today they announced that they're coming out with the Nintendo NES

Mini with like 30 or 60 pre-installed games. I don't remember which. Maybe, yeah, 30 pre-installed games for $60. Old school NES. Good games, too. Form Factor. Yeah, good games.

That's going to be incredibly popular. I love what Nintendo's doing in their war, if you can call it that, with Microsoft and Sony. Instead of being like, ah, how are we going to make a 4K Nintendo machine? They're like, everybody's already got a cell phone, right?

Didn't we have a nice console back in 1984? Yeah, yeah. Let's do it. We got this. It's crazy. It's beautiful. I love that Pokemon Go is getting so big. Don't let anybody discourage if you're into it. And if you're one of those people out there who aren't into it and you don't think

you will be, then fine. It's just a fucking video game. But if you're into it if you're one of those people out there who aren't into it you don't don't think you will be then then fine it's just a fucking video game but if you think you might be interested in it it's uh very addictive and not in a candy crush saga kind of way that's gonna like empty your pockets with with and you'll have nothing to show for it at all at least with this i got this big collection of pokemon and like i'm always screenshotting my pokedex sending it to taylor he's doing the same to me and we're comparing what we've got and stuff and it's a lot of fun. It's like baseball cards, stamp collection, anything like that. Is there like a big consortium

of naysayers, like ripping on your Pokemon? Oh yeah, there's tons of people on Facebook. It's mostly like, I don't know, 40, 45 year old moms and stuff on Facebook, and it's always stuff like, ugh, grown men spending their days catching Pokemon. Don't they have anything better to do?

And it's like, you just posted 13 times on Facebook today, dude. Like, what the fuck are you? Like, we all have extra time. We all have time to burn. Let me spend mine however I want to. Like, if I was jerking off to porn for three hours a day, you probably wouldn't think that was too crazy. But all of a sudden, because I'm catching some Charizards, I'm a weirdo. Well, sounds like a lot. Really? I'd say that that, I'm a weirdo. Well, that sounds like a lot.

Really? I'd say that that's bordering on too much. Well, that's just once. It takes me a while to get off. I felt so guilty earlier today, because I was sitting at a fire museum that's named me in Brockton. So I literally drove around for two hours last night,

came in, went to bed, had to bring Joey to a toddler this morning so I dropped off Joey it's basically like a four hour like social club thing for Joey, dropped him off and then I went like just driving around and I found like a fire museum and I'm like the only fucking car in the parking lot, it's like 9am 9.30am and I'm just sitting there freaking

got my car running, got the AC on sitting there, every single cop like pulls up, like pulls in the parking lot, like stops behind me and then goes about his business, I felt so guilty sitting there and I'm like I up like pulls in the parking lot like stops behind me and then goes about his business i felt so guilty sitting there like i'll play the play the game my phone you know whereas if i set up no guilt at all if i sat at home and played xbox for 12 hours but sitting in a parking lot for 45 minutes i felt like the biggest bag of shit you get weird looks because yeah i was at the church uh last night it was about 11 p.m and i was trying to trying to take the gym.

And I had already been there once that day, and it was dark, and there's a house next door. And I look out my window kind of out of the corner of my eye, and, like, there's a dude standing there in, like, his boxer shorts with no shirt on and a belly just staring me down from his front porch. Like, what the fuck are you doing here, bro? You think he's staring you down. Really, he's waiting for his fucking Pokestop to recharge. What I did, so there was one uh quite a few miles from me but i saw the pokey stop and it was i couldn't like if you haven't played the game you may think you can kind of just get near it and you know get the benefit no you have to be really fucking close because it's meant to be you on foot so you literally have to be like if it's across the street and you are in the street, you won't get it.

You have to be in that area. And I could not get close enough in my car to this fucking pokey stop. And it was right by a bank, right by a bank drive-through area. And there were quite a few people. And it's not my bank. And so I just pulled around, got into the drive-through line at a bank, and just waited for about 10 minutes. I got my pokey stop. You know, I waited. And then as I pulled through a bank, and just waited for about ten minutes. I got my Pokestop,

you know, I waited, and then as I pulled through, how can I help you? You already did! And I'm like, what's going on? I was really hoping, I was really hoping that you were going to get to the window, and they were going to interest you in a low-interest savings account or something. Like, you know,

I came there for that Charizard, but I got a real nice CD There the rates are very aggressive at that bank. I gotta say I'm moving everything over there So one thing I figured out which I didn't realize at first I was trying to get like close to the stop and then click on it on the map and then swipe across you don't have To do that you can click on it like before it actually opens. It'll say oh, it's too far away You just stay in that screen. Yeah, that little message goes away, and then you swipe it really quick So it'll say, oh, it's too far away.

You just stay on that screen. Yeah. And that little message goes away, and then you swipe it really quick. It's got some... You ever get, like, that blind panic on the highway where you see your guy, and there's a Pokestop that you can get from the highway, and it's coming up. And it's coming up. Okay, it's coming. Oh, it's lagging for a sec.

Fuck. Fuck. Oh, no, it's behind me. Go, go. And you're trying to swipe it desperately. Or if a Pokemon pops up. A Pokemon pops up, like, right before you get your Pokestop. Like, you're waiting for your Pokestop, and then

there's something good, like a Charmander or something. You're like, fuck! Decision time. What am I going to do? I'm having a blast with this game. Everybody who thinks it's immature, it is. It's definitely immature, but it's a good time killer.

It's no more immature than Call of Duty or any other stupid fucking game. Look, I was in this room last night between 2 and 4 a.m., and I was fighting zombies that do not exist, spinning and shooting my fucking Veeve at the ceiling because there's an earthworm coming down. That's what all video games are, right? Their simulations are not really there.

It's about how you feel when you play them, nothing else. So this is a great game because it makes me feel good. It's a lot of fun to play. It's a bit addictive, and I'm loving it. It's not bad on bandwidth either. It's not bad. It's terrible on batteries, though. It eats your battery alive, at least in my phone.

I'm going to go buy. I've got three battery backups. I just speak in. There you go. The external batteries. Before we move on from Pokemon Go talk, for now, because it'll be back. It'll be back.

But what are your top three? Your best three right now. I'm having a hard time signing in, but I've definitely got that Vaporon or whatever it is. That's the strongest of the Eevee evolutions, apparently, by a lot in this game. Oh, well, wonderful, because I've got a really nice one.

It's like 1,200 CP now. I've got one of those. I've got like a 500 or 600 Scyther. That Tauros is like 500 or 600. I think I've got like an 800. I don't even remember which one it is. But really, it's the Vaporeon. I need an electric Pokemon because it's mostly water Pokemon

taking over around my area, and I think that is because of the prevalence of Eevees. And I think it's a coin flip whether you get the fire evolution, the water evolution, or the electric evolution. I don't know the particulars, but it seems like there's a lot of people with the water Pokemon here, and

so those have kind of taken over. I think it depends on your location. You might have a lot of water near you. Perhaps. Perhaps that might be it. I hope that that plays into it, because then maybe we need to go on some like, wait, Taylor, maybe we need to go to Texas,

get some Texas Pokemon, go up north to Canada, get some snow Pokemon. That is a great trip idea. To go Pokemon training. All across the country. If you want to go, I'll go. I swear to God, if you were like, you know what? I'll see you next week.

I would totally go on a cross-country drive catching Pokemon and filming it. That would be hilarious. We definitely should do something like that, but we need to wait until, first of all, battling is introduced and trading.

Because it wouldn't be that much fun to do before. You could do meetups with PKA fans. And I'm going to start my website up where we can all gamble with our Pokemon. Not your website. Just a site that you found. It's just a website.

I've got this friend, his name's Trevor. He's hooking me up with some guys. We're hooking up my Pokemon gambling website. It's going to be real nice. My buddy Tom was telling me about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just got a 1026 Arbok right before the show. It's a big deal.

Arbok. A moment of silence for the Arbok. Four digits. Nice. 1,026. 1,026, yes. I haven't seen any of those yet. See, it's exciting, especially at the beginning of a game like this. I haven't seen a single other Arbok,

which is an evolved form of the snake into a bigger, scarier type snake. You don't have to tell me, Taylor. How long do you think this lasts for? Because everyone's kind of on an even-painting field right now. People that are super into it, they're up higher, but I think once you get to level 20, I think the

XP goes up dramatically to make next levels. There's a huge fucking difference between 20, 21, and 21. I'm halfway to level 21, and it takes, to get from 19 to 20, it takes like 20,000 XP, 25,000, or yeah, like 20,000 XP or something. To get from 20 to 21, 50,000 XP.

I think it goes up, too. I think it goes up 50,000 more, so I think to go from 21 to 22 would be like 100,000, and then 22, 23 is 150,000. I think it's like that, too. So I got a couple tips if you want to rank up quickly, and maybe you guys know some stuff I don't. First of all, with catching Pokemon, don't even wait.

Like I'm flicking my thumb before it even gives me the option to throw a Pokeball. So as soon as the Pokeball appears, it gets immediately thrown. And the Pokemon doesn't have a chance to back up. And he gets hit with like an excellent or a great like 90% of the time. And it's easy catches. The other thing is I use my lucky eggs to go double XP and I put a lure on and then I put a lure module

or I put incense out and a lure module and a PokeStop and sit there for a fucking hour. A little raspberry maybe? Yeah, well I try to save my raspberries for emergency situations but here's the thing about the raspberries. They make your Pokeballs curve. You give them a raspberry, and all of a sudden

you've got to throw a left-to-right curveball. You've got to aim over here if you want to hit over here, and I don't like that. Those things sabotage you. The way I've been leveling up pretty quick is, so what you want to do, every time you see a fucking Pidgey, you catch every Pidgey you see, and you transfer it, and you get all the

candy you can from it, and you evolve them once into a Pidgeotto for 12 Pidgey candies, and you get 500 XP, 1,000 XP, or whatever the double, 2,000 XP maybe, with the lucky egg out. And what I'll do, like today, I just caught a fuck ton of Pidgeys today, and so I've got like 60 Pidgey candies and like five Pidgeys in there that I'm going to all evolve during the same half hour window. And you can really crank through levels

between like 10 and 15. Yeah, it takes 30 seconds to upgrade each Pokemon to evolve it because of the screen you've got to sit through. And there's no way to skip that unfortunately. So in your 30 minute time period, you can do 60 Pokemon if you're perfect and 50 if you're a normal human being. So yeah, that is the fastest way to do it.

Double XP. I was doing the same thing today. Yeah, I think we all figured that out. Now, if you're on two Pokestops and you lure both of them, is that better or is it just redundant? I don't know. I haven't figured that out yet. Because a lot of my friends in California are texting me pictures of where they are, and because it's so populated, there are places they can stand where they're in range of two Pokestops, or three Pokestops,

and they're all... I was in range of... I found a good spot for this. It was in range of two. It's like two seconds from my gym. It's fucking awesome. Oh, that's... Oh, Lucky Duck. Yeah. Yeah. I really hope they start putting more... So, yeah, it's the Niantic people, or whoever made this game, did a great job. I'm really

enjoying it. If you're out there and you haven't played it, check it out. It's a lot of fun. You don't have to spend money like the three of us. Yeah, you don't have to. I haven't really spent very much. You will, though. Yeah, I got into it. I don't know what I was thinking in the beginning, just that Pokeballs were free.

I was just so excited to be playing Pokemon. I was just throwing bills at a strip club with that like fuck it i don't care if it takes me five of them catch catch catch and now i'm like really thinking about it like oh is this is this radicate worth it now i only get one candy from it fuck that only three candies whatever times are tough i was gonna call you out on that whatever. Time's your time. I was going to call you out on that. So Woody, you Woody, keeping us straight for Pokemon

Go 2. So Woody, you flew today again, right? I did, yeah. It will be in the Friday vlog. I know last time you flew. You're okay talking about it, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I know last time that it scared you.

That it was a scary experience um and and you said that even the second time you went up still a scary experience yeah and that landing was pretty rough on that second time you could have gotten a little hurt there um so talk talk to me about so it's difficult to rate a flight in like success or failure i mean if you want to be like didn't crash then i guess failure or didn't hurt himself then then i guess that didn't go quite right but i'm not grading your landing i'm just it's more that you haven't seen my landing i know i'm talking about your landing um from the other day i'm talking about this morning but go on yeah well what i'm getting at is that you had two scary experiences and the last time you were in the air when you landed you

landed really roughly which also had to be a scary experience so i'm wondering was any of that weighing on you today when you went no um so what happened is like in the meantime i did like a lot of analysis like i looked at the whole thing like stop frame footage because i like i edit all the time now so it's nothing to me to like stabilize footage, edit it and go frame by frame. And so, you know, I really sort of looked at what I did right, what I did wrong. And one of the things I really wanted out of today was just to get a little more comfortable. You know, I'd like to take off without being scared. I'd like to, you know, enjoy the flight.

And the thing, what happened for people that don't know, I was coming in for a landing on my second flight and I accidentally cut the motor off it's real easy to do there's like a trigger on your thumb and I must have bumped it or something so when we had decided that I missed where I wanted to land it was like oh well like it or not you're gonna land and uh if my instructor hadn't been in my ear like talking me through it i don't know what i would have like i might have forgot the flare or whatever um today wasn't like that like the way i described it is like when i started to panic my iq cut in half you know on the ground i know all this shit like on the ground i'm half ready to teach it in as a pilot i'm pretty much shit. Everyone's got a plan until you're falling

out of the sky, like Tyson said. Yeah, I like the paraphrase. But today wasn't like that. Today, I don't know. I did much better. For example, you have to do what's called flaring. You pull your brakes right before you land. And if you pull your brakes too early, you sort of gain altitude, and it's like jumping off a table or something. But you've early, you sort of gain altitude and it's like jumping off a table or something, but you've got a big heavy backpack and it's a problem. So I flared, recognized it was too early, kind of held it there. Cause that's what you do. You know, when you make that mistake until it's not too early anymore, then I finished my flare. That was some pretty cool, like, I don't know, keep it cool. Don't panic type stuff. I got the

all clear to fly on my own. So that was kind of a neat thing. Overall, today was a pretty big success, even though I didn't stick my landing yet. I would be scared to death I was going to break my legs or something. Like I would be, I think fighting is easy. That's fucking terrifying. You're flying with a big ass fucking fan on your back.

Yeah, if people are watching this who don't normally watch, I'm learning how to paramotor, which is likeass fucking fan on your back yeah if people are watching this you don't normally watch i'm learning how to paramotor which is like a propeller on your back a kite that they call a wing above you and uh yeah you just fly through the sky and it's like it's pretty cool actually it's so did you see what is a bad landing all bad. I hadn't seen it. Okay, his worst landing. I think so. I think so. Yeah.

So you get to practice the actual flying part, right? You get to practice controlling the wing, but you never get to practice the actual landing part, right, until you do it for the first time? That's the challenge. Is that correct? Yeah. So there's a whole lot of stuff that I haven't felt yet. I knew how to steer it, That's the challenge. Is that correct? Yeah. So there's a whole lot of stuff that, like, I haven't felt yet, you know?

Like, I knew how to steer it, you know, and I had done all sorts of minor corrections during what they call kiting the wing. But, like, there's no real way to, like, hey, when you sit in a chair and feel it, this is how it feels. When you pull it this hard, this is how much it moves. That stuff all kind of you just do for the first time while you're flying. And it's not a thing that you can do in tandem, really know like the first time you fly a plane i think you've got an instructor there ready to grab the the yoke any second the first time i fly this i've got an instructor in my radio and it's not quite the same that's because it's not a goddamn plane damn plane how much is the fan way I with fuel then it probably approaches 80

pounds yeah he's got a little girl on his back trying to take running with all these guys I you were at you were talking one time about like how gassed you are like sometimes after a day of running and then you got to take off you're like I'm running about two miles an hour and i was like i used to run it faster than that come on and then i watch and you're i'm like oh yeah three maybe four it's just fuck i wish that's not it though no it's not that i can't run faster i think i could run six or seven i just can't do it that really that is about as fast i could run with probably 80 pounds on my back. But I'm unstable.

Like if I run under six or seven pounds in like eight inches of grass down a hill and it's bumpy, like how fast can you run? I bet even Joe would struggle to run a lot faster than that. Yeah. Well, you're fit though. Yeah, but I fight so I don't have to run. There you go. Yeah yeah you just get real wobbly like in my in my second takeoff the one that's on there i break it down real slow and um what happened to make a short story long is that the wing got in front of me so i had to run under

it to catch up but the wing has a job to do it needs needs to make your paramotor, like that motor fan thing, lighter. So the fact that I was running to catch up meant I was running too fast. I wasn't really stable. And it made for a bumpy landing. Fortunately, I just gassed and started flying. I did that again today. A similar thing type happened. And I just gave it full throttle and got myself out of trouble.

It probably looked like a good takeoff if you didn't know any better. But, yeah, I flew. I was sort of cool, calm, and collected. I was almost as good in the air as I am on the ground, if that's a thing, where I was doing the things I wanted to do. It'll be better next time. How long do you think it'll be before you dare to fly at your own house i was looking at it today when i got home i just got home i'm like still sweaty and everything i i had a you think that soon so real soon you'll be flying around your home

the game the clear today yeah i'm clear i was considering going to maybe a beach where it's like soft can i can i jump in did they give you any sort of certificate, ribbon, medal, anything like that to signify that you are now a fully fledged backpack fan airman? There is a written test I could have taken to get like a card of some sort. I don't know. But I ran out of time. I had to get here in time for the show. And next time I'm out there. Will you attempt to secure this certificate slash ribbon?

I will. You want to know why? Because there are these meetups where people all go and fly in the same space together. And sometimes they're like, oh, you have to have your PPG2 rating. And I don't want to be excluded from any cool kid events. Yeah, yeah, definitely so. Now, I disagree with you there i gotta say that if if if i were doing this the last thing that i would want is to go to a meetup or anywhere where there

are other people doing it i want to be go solo with this thing because a way from everyone a nobody nobody will see you fail like like an amateur that sees you land badly is like a motherfucker just came from the sky who cares if it was smooth or not he came from the sky but if a fellow fly boy sees you that he's like look at that sloppy approach he's you know his wing is floppy on the left side he let it collapse on the right he doesn't have good control of his of his paddles and his stirrup and and he let the butt plug fall right out on he was so on Saturday so that I could watch Joe fight. One of the other guys that I trained with, though, he made it.

He got the all-clear-to-fly solo before I did. He got it on Saturday. Today was his sixth flight, and so far he's nailed one landing. He has five crashes, and he's landed once. That's, I guess, better than my record of 0 for 3, but I do hope to catch him by the time I hit 6 and not crash one of the next three. God, I would almost, you know on aircraft carriers,

how they got that big rubber band type wire that catches the planes? If I'm you, I'm wishing there was one of those for people. That I could just fly into a big soft spider web. They're called telephone lines. They have them everywhere. Between poles. It's great. No, they...

Dude, I don't know. I'm really excited. I was... I'm constantly looking at clouds now. I'm an amateur at it, but I'm getting better at reading weather and what the clouds are doing. And I can tell you whether it's turbulent air, smooth air, what we're dealing with, where it's dangerous and where it's just bumpy.

And as I pulled in home tonight, I'm like, right now would be a great time to fly. What are the telltale signs? Do you lick your finger and put it in the air or what's yeah how do you know the twister are coming i'm mostly this time of year and i'm not an expert a lot of it has to do with the temperature you know if it's getting really hot then there's going to be heavy thermals and then there's a type of cloud the cumulus cloud it's super common if you see that that gets created by thermals.

And those big thermals, if you do what I do, you don't really want them. For people who don't have a motor, they have to fly in that terrible air. But for me, as a brand new pilot, if you see those, it's best to stay home. Have you ever done that thing where they tell you behind a boat you've got a parachute parasailing no i haven't i've done that i've heard that it's everyone says it's boring it was really fun for the first like i don't know two minutes because it was like oh my god like i can see everything like i can see fish and like big fish swimming in the ocean there like that it's neat but then when you realize like oh i'm up here for 20 minutes yeah you don't do anything it doesn't like you're not controlling anything you're literally just going on a ride like you have no control over anything this is what i'm doing is pretty cool man and you can go high i i think i think the legal limit is

12 000 feet the record is like 18 000. That's pretty high for a lawn chair. Is that 18K with or without oxygen? I would think without. You can do 18K without as long as you come down. I think that's right what the death zone is. I forget if you had oxygen or not.

Probably the dizzy zone. You should probably avoid anywhere called the death zone in your parachute you look at your altimeter it's just a skull and crossbones what we're there i picture the altimeter that you would use uh for a paramotor would just be like uh like that fake boba fett thing that buzz lightyear has where it's just like fake stats written on plastic like oh fuck we're getting too high you know looking rough here none of the gauge seem the agents seem to be working they're all frozen when you cut the fan loose and just go to the parachute

do you have a backup shoot I have a reserve there's gonna be a number he's got the reserve shoot I do I do um well the number would be as low as possible, I would think. You don't want to wait until you get to like 18,000 feet to start slowly floating down and hoping a thermal doesn't carry you away to Greenland. You want to jump out at like 4,000 or 3,000 or something, right? You don't jump out with the reserve chute. It's attached to the paramotor. Oh, it looked like it was attached to your side.

Okay. So, all right. So, let's say that your parachute, your wing, as it's called, starts, like, gets twisted. All the cables are twisted up. I imagine that's the scenario you use this thing. So, you cut all those loose somehow, presumably.

You pull it in. So, actually, it's two steps. You take your... Step one is throw the reserve chute out. And even that is two steps. You sort of break it free, and then you throw it away. And then the reserve i'm told deploys like crazy like it this thing is designed to just deploy in a fucking hurry so when you say well i'm sorry maybe i'm missing

it but what are you throwing away is that the main that has fouled no there's a handle on the side to your reserve shoot but it's not like... Some reserve chutes, I'm told, are ballistic, and some are spring-loaded. This is neither. So you pull it, and then you throw it out into clean air. Quickly unfurl it. No. So that's the thing.

Because what I'm thinking is you'd be like, don't worry, everyone, I've got my reserve. And you throw it, and you just see it go away. It's not attached to you by any means whatsoever. It's just shit. I helped install it like go away it's not attached to you by any means i helped install it i know it's attached i saw it you know and uh um anyway so it was more like hold this while he like puts things together but yeah i was involved so the reserve shoots i'm told like they're they're designed to just catch air. So like a sports pilot's parachute, the square ones where they can maneuver around and do fun stuff,

apparently they don't beat the shit out of you when they deploy. There's kind of an easing into it. Reservoir shoots aren't like that because you might be throwing it at 75 feet. They're meant to just really catch air, really get working in a hurry. Would it work at 75 feet and they're meant to just like really catch air really get working in a in a hurry would it work at 75 feet would it i mean he said that i was like it's gonna help but i was like at 75 feet do you throw it he's like yeah you always throw it 75 feet 50 feet like he's like it's gonna help you know like the thing apparently as soon as it catches air in like 10 feet it it's you know spread out it's doing its thing. At least it'll cover up all the blood and gore for the children around.

And then there's this thing about packing your parachute. And everyone knows parachutes need to be like perfectly packed and stuff like that. And the reserve parachutes, mine's professionally packed. It still is the factory packing. But they tested it and they're like, let's fuck up the packing, right? Let's just like crinkle it in there and a big puff works perfectly. Let's like try to make it work. Works perfectly.

Let's try to like tangle it. These things are designed to just spread and do their job, even if they're packed poorly like every scenario. So basically you toss it and then if you've got time, you pull in your wing so that they don't conflict. That's how you do it. Is there any procedure for cutting the

motor off of your back just in case it goes awry? It's on fire. It's on fire. You've got to get it off. So actually, I forget. I think it's called the FUV. I forget what it is.

Whatever the German FAA is, like had that requirement, like when it was new. It was waffle. They said, you know, you need to be able to jettison this thing and like sail away or something. And mine actually does have that, but no one uses it. Non-German paramotors don't have it. And it's generally considered a bad idea to have a single point of failure where your motor can just fall off.

Like a quick detach to let everything go. It's a quick detach, but I think it's actually for water landings more so than fire. So you don't get drowned. Yeah, it makes sense. You know what I would also like, one of those things

that like quickly deploys like some sort of floating apparatus to keep your damn $12,000 piece of machinery from sinking to the bottom of some lake. Yeah. Can you imagine that? Imagine this scenario. You come in,

you're like doing these like low level maneuvers over a lake skimming your feet and you fall on your butt. It's not an emergency. You're like, ah, shit. Well, let me get out of here and swim away oh god no no no as it just slowly sinks down to the bottom. Did you say 1200 or 12,000? You know which one. The 1200? You thought this was a $1,200? Would you trust your life going into the air? No I didn't think it was 12,000 either.

So I'm told, like in a lake scenario, it's pretty easy to find because the parachute floats kind of. So like if you know roughly where you are and it's not like 100 feet deep, then you just circle around. You'd see the big parachute either on the surface or you can see through the water a little bit. Water's got to do some damage to that. You know, it's a two-cylinder engine, right? So you're like, yeah, I'll know. It's ruined forever. Is it? Yeah, you just kind of take the spark plug off and get the water out

and put things back together. Turn it over. It'll spit all the water out. Just keep going. Yeah, you're right. You're absolutely right. I guess that, yeah, it's not like you have a lot of avionics on board or anything like that. It doesn't even have electric start. Guidance computer. Yeah, I guess that, yeah, it's not like you have a lot of avionics on board or anything like that. It doesn't even have electric start. Guidance, computing.

I saw that, and that worried me. When I saw him put his hand on your shoulder and pull a ripcord like an old lawnmower would have it. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. I was like, are you shitting me? What if it goes dead in the air? He's got to be doing one of these to get going again. Starting, it's not that bad. Mine starts on a pull or two.

You know what's bad? Yours is brand new. Fucking finding it. Yours is brand new. Give it two years. You might be right. But finding it. Like, I'm hunting back here for the front.

I can't find the damn pull cord. And then once you do, oh, my God. So you know most pull cords, you you pull it and you can feel the engine compression it's like you got to pull it hard enough to get it going this is like it's supposed to be better it's like spring-loaded like have you guys seen any of these the the high-end pulls don't just like spin the motor anymore you spin like some sort of clutch mechanism and that spins the motor. Well, dude, I have to stop punching myself in the face when I work

this mechanism because it's on a spring. And even with two hands, I'm like, fuck! It happens more than once. That was also disturbing to me to see because I really went into that first video of yours where you were

watching it or where you were trying it. I really thought it was going to be way more high tech. I thought it was going to be like, alright, we're going to be going up to about 1300 feet today. Let's just quickly do-be-do-be-do-be-do-be-do-be-do-be-do-be-do-be. Instead it was like, you ready to go up there? Let me start your fan.

Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding. It's like, how do I land? ready to go up there? Let me start your fan. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Right now. How do I land? Oh, it'll bring you down, so you can only move about 30 miles. What is the range on those things? What is the range on them? In miles?

You can fly about two and a half to three and a half hours. It's a couple hundred miles, isn't it? No. I read on the internet that the range was 150 kilometers. So just imagine how many eggs you could hatch. Oh shit! Oh shit! Look how excited you guys are.

I know what I'm about to die. I need a paramotor. It's going to be the ultimate Pokemon catching device! I'm gonna be flying at like eight feet off the ground, I'm gonna be flying at like eight feet off the ground, I'm gonna be fucking catching Pokemon! I'm gonna be fucking catching Pokemon! I'm getting your legs off fences! I'm getting your legs off fences!

I'm gonna be doing circles above the PokeStops, like... I'm gonna be doing circles above the PokeStops, like... You can hit... you can... You can hit... you can... straight lines! You can hit us in a straight line! Only air Pokemon! Only flying Pokemon, dude, that'll be my thing! Oh man... That'll be my thing! Man, that's a good... I saw what some people were doing

is, you know those shitty model train tracks where it just kind of goes around at like six miles an hour, four miles an hour? Apparently that does work, you know, because it's rough enough that it tricks it into thinking you're walking. Because it has to be rough.

It does work too, and I tried the fan. I tied my phone with a shoelace on my fan it didn't work it got I ran for 35 minutes and I got point one kilometers I kept thinking of ways to cheat system too, but and I was out there in my yard last night I was just like Walking is stupid. Why don't you just run like like and and I ran out that 2k in just a little while And I was very pleased use a golf cart or something It seems like you could just jostle it and use a golf cart and you know I I think you can but it's like I think part of my particular problem is something with because I'm in a bad area because You can. driving around with my phone in my hand doing this. Like trying to make the phone think that I'm running so goddamn fast.

Like I'm Usain Bolt out there. Gotta catch them all. Gotta catch them all. And sometimes that works. Sometimes I'll all of a sudden get half a K on the board. But I went, I must have drove 40 miles today running errands and going to the doctor and stuff. And I didn't get any eggs hatched.

But that run last night, hatch three. I got quite a few hatched. Granted, I was in a lot of traffic. So it was like doctor and stuff. I didn't get any eggs hatched, but that run last night, hatch three. Granted, I was in a lot of traffic, so it was like stop and go kind of shit, but you get a lot of kilometers done in stop and go traffic. If you're just kind of rolling. Do you have to shake it for it to work, Taylor? Not really. Every once in a while

I'll kind of just go like that as I'm driving around, making it think I'm jogging at 19 miles an hour as I often do. Sprint next to it. It works sometimes. I mean, I don't know what the cutoff is. But my Pokemon hatched and I got fucking hosed

on my 10 kilometer egg. Hosed. I got a fucking Eevee. Oh, that sucks. I don't want that. I already went through, I have evolved seven Eeve already went through I have evolved 7 Eevees now I've gotten 4 Jolteons

1 Vaporeon and 2 Flareons but the Jolteons were all first and so I was really fucking pissed off about that I would love to trade for one of your Jolteons because that's what I need because the gem that's next to me is

the water Pokemon. Oh, there's only one left now. I kill all but the strong. Yeah, I do too. I think it's better that we can't trade. What was this? Yeah, I think they are. What was the thing that they would say in the movie 300? Only the strong.

Only the strong. When they start adding and trading, is there a business model for Pokemon Go Lotto? Yes, that's what I've been going on and on about. Joe, have you kept up with this CS Go Lotto stuff? I know a little bit. So basically my understanding is that Tmart and Syndicate started a site and they both acted like they didn't own it,

that they just stumbled upon it, but they did own it. And I don't know. That's about all I know. And then the other thing is the kid thing. Like it would be inconceivable to me that they didn't know there were a lot of kids. There's a 13 year,

there's a thing that says you're 13 and there's a thing that says you're 18. Is there something else? Yeah, that is true. Basically they use the COPPA boil. There's this Child Online Privacy Protection Act that says they don't knowingly collect data from people under 13.

A lot of people use that as proof that 13-year-olds were allowed, but the registration always said you had to be 18. No, it didn't. It did. At first, it was just 13. No, that's the COPPA boilerplate. There's two checks. I'm right about this

his website said it had to be 13 it didn't at first until he changed it when he got in let me explain what happened they had the cop a boilerplate that so many sites do on there and then all these videos blur out every word except 13 years old and say

look 13 year olds are here but what that really was was it said we don't collect information from children under 13 now the registration process where you give them like your name and your account and all that stuff you had to check a box and say you were 18 but that 13 year old thing was just saying that they didn't collect kids info why not why don't you why we collect kids' info? How is it any more okay to collect my info than it is a child's? I guess there was something called the Child Online Privacy Protection Act.

Oh, bullshit. Who sponsored that fact? I don't know, but that's what it was. Probably a bunch of kids. The COPPA boilerplate is what everyone used to say, like, 13-year-olds are cool here, but it was always 18. But the truth is 13 year olds

were kind of cool there all you had to do is check a box you know i'm always 116 online because i enter 1900 is my birth date you know you can put anything you want it's the internet and that's that's what they went for csgo lotto too so yeah anyway like like like um joe said uh they pretended they didn't own it. And the other thing is I think they looked the other way. The kids were there. It's been shut down since the 8th. Like it's shut down.

Well, I mean Valve has cracked down. Twitch has also cracked down. So Twitch came out and said no more of those streams. I'm not going to do that anymore, those gambling streams. That is over. No more of those streams. Not going to do that anymore, those gambling streams. That is over.

And Valve has come out and said, you know, hey, it seems that people have been gambling with the poker chips we sell. I can't. Hey, we never saw that coming. All we do here is sell poker chips, okay? And we figured people like to collect them. You know, look at them on their computer screens. You know, that sort of thing. We had no idea you'd be gambling with them. you don't say we never profited from any gambling directly

we just sell the poker chips uh so we're not gonna allow that anymore um by a vive that's valve statement um i stand behind all uh none of that except for the last little bit by a vibe. Yeah, that sums it up perfectly. So I guess that... I don't know that they've started blacklisting sites from their API yet. The only one I pay attention to is CSGO Lotto, and they shut down voluntarily almost a week ago. I saw that there was a guy, he was the owner, runner, whatever, of a competitor.

And everybody was applauding him because I don't know the particular ins and outs of it, but basically, since his thing is getting shut down, that would mean that a lot of people might get stuck with their money invested into something that will soon be worthless. And he was like, I don't care if I have to buy new skins, don't worry about that.

I want everybody to get their credits out. And I thought that was really admirable of him to do that and say that and uh i don't even know who the guy is you know just some screen name that i read but um a lot was being made of that on reddit and i thought that was pretty cool of him another thing i saw last night this is a bit of a a different topic i was talking about joe being a great sportsman earlier um i don't know that ter Crews, do we all know who Terry Crews is? He's the linebacker, the, oh wait. Yeah, the office linebacker slash Old Spice guy.

I watched a Facebook video of his last night. I thought his last name was Tate. Was it? Office linebacker was something Tate. I think you're right. Whatever I just said is his real name. Terry Crews is the guy's real name. And so I watched his Facebook video.

So he was one of those guys out there playing Battlefield on PC with the gamers and Snoop Dogg and all those people a month back or so. And in his Facebook video, he basically says, hey, I went and played this game with these guys a while back, and I loved it. It was so much fun, so I'm going to build my own PC. And he's got all of his PC components there that someone helped him pick out and everything. And watching that 12 minute video, I fell in love with Terry Crews. He seems like such a genuinely

nice, kind-hearted, sweet, genuine guy. I watched this 12 minute video and at the end of it I was like, I wish you were selling something, Terry Terry because I'd buy it from you I wish I could help you in some way to do better such a great guy I love that video

real nice he's talking about his kids and at the end of the video after he's talked about gaming and how it helps him connect with his kid and after he's talked about the particulars of his PC build and you know he got a 1080 graphics card and this motherboard and and this power supply etc etc he goes over and he shows you like this wall that he's got this sort of like inspirational board that's there for him and him

and his kids and he starts reading some of the things on there you know and it's like try that doesn't work try again try harder try a different way try this try that he's like all these inspirational things and he was i i don't know how to how to say any differently but just so genuine it's such a cool guy that i loved it uh chis is gonna see if you can get him on the show uh since he's getting into pc gaming and stuff like that maybe he'd be interested um i really hope he he is because because ter is not Terry Tate, office linebacker. What are you trying to say, Kyle? I'm talking about Terry Crews.

You brought up office linebacker. Well, Woody brought it up, and I just wanted to keep things moving along. As far as I know, Terry Crews is the expendables guy. Yeah, I think so. Was Terry Crews an athlete? He played football, I think. But he played in the NFLfl and you play the nfl draft of the rams i think the 91 draft i i think i mean i'm reading a wikipedia page yeah but um if you get anybody out there like i know what if i understand what kyle's saying

he's saying they all look the same is that i think that's what kyle was saying yeah that's what i that's what i've gathered from from his all this. I don't know about that, but if you're out there, I'll tell you what. He'd be an awesome guest. He'd be a great guest for PGA. It warmed my heart to watch it, and Chiz felt the exact same way. It's 12 minutes of this guy on Facebook just kind of chatting about

his new PC and himself, but I swear to God, I wish it was 20. I wish it was 20 minutes so I could have sat there and enjoyed him a little bit more. So anybody interested in that, I found on the PC Master Race subreddit, but I'm sure you go to Terry Crews' Facebook and find it too. It's far too long to watch on the show, but excellent and what a great guy. I'm a fan of his now and all things he does. He's one of those celebrities or like whatever you want to call him that anything he does now, I will be a supporter of you know when I see him do things I'll want him to do well just because of what I

saw there in that video he seemed like a real good guy new topic yeah which guy do it so the FBI has I guess you'd call it malware like They had something called Operation Playpen, and it was a virus, I guess, that went from machine to machine to machine to catch pedophiles, and it did. It caught like 100 pedophiles, and there's, I guess, some gray area as to whether or not they can use the evidence

because it's kind of like warrantless searching, right? I mean, they just sort of spread their malware around. And, uh... But it caught a hundred pedophiles. Yeah, but that's a slippery slope that you don't want to go down. Well, maybe next time we see who's

pirating movies online. Maybe next time we see who's doing this and that. Maybe we see if we can find any communists. Yeah, we'll see if, like, it's, you know, obviously, you want to fucking catch pedophiles. I don't think anybody wants pedophiles out there. Do we, though? Let's slow down here. All right, look. Well, Kyle, let's not

die on that. I'm not even sure. Here's my thing about pedophiles. Anyone who hurts a kid, or plans to hurt a kid or anything, like, fuck them, they should be put to death. Like, most of the time, and my honest opinion is that they're probably just – it's probably a mental thing and they're sick in the head because who wants to fuck a little kid and who wants to be the guy who wants to fuck a little kid? Think about that for a minute. Who would want to literally be the guy who wants to fuck a kid? Like you're immediately the worst kind of pariah, the kind of guy that even the kindest old lady will go, kill that piece of shit.

Like fry him, fry him. Nobody's on your side. Nobody's on your side. I think those people are genuinely sick. So when they say they caught pedophiles, are they talking about some guy who has never harmed a child? In fact, maybe he goes out of his way to stay away from children and try to remove that from his life entirely. But he just

looked at some pornography on the internet. I kind of feel for that. All we know for sure is they have files on their computer. I just don't know if we should be using malware to find the guy who's mentally ill but doing his best to not ever hurt anyone and just looking at some dirty stuff on the internet?

I don't know if we need to Like use the malware to track him down then drag him out of his home put him into a the prison system and pay 50 Grand a year to keep him house sometimes that stuff is bullshit, too Like when I was in high school So I was 18 and there's a kid that was dating a 15 year old girl and 16 was the age of consent So if you're under 21 16 is okay if you're over 21 then 18 is okay in massachusetts at the time i don't know and uh kid kid had it was 18 had a 15 year old

girlfriend was like just barely 15 but that was a cop they break up kid gets locked up pedophile the whole entire thing for his entire life like he was like he's a he's a junior dating a freshman and go to jail you're not collecting her dollars like like he's a he's a junior dating a freshman and go to jail you're not collecting her dollars like sometimes it's a motherfucker it's over yeah jersey's laws are better north carolina is the same uh i think if you're so definitely if you're 14 you can consent but only if the person's within four years of you and if you're 18 and 14 you have to start checking birthdays and And something about the four-year rule, like, yeah, that kind of works.

That rolling four-year rule. And I think at 16, it might be, you can start consenting to anybody. There's some age along the way. Does that include anal? Yeah. It usually starts with anal. Good, good. I just want to make sure I'm in the clear.

Yeah. Yeah, the worst, I hate it. In private school, there are quite a few people like that. Is that true? Well, I'm trying to save myself for Jesus, so you can have my asshole. Oh, absolutely. That's a real true thing? No, that was true. Absolutely. No, I went to public school and really never

found the fountain of anal-giving girls. Oh, absolutely. same thing in public school. It's the same thing in public school. It just has to do with whether or not it's a really religious person or not. That's it. Same in public or private. And there'll be this little clique of girls, and they'll convince each other through some sort of anal sex echo chamber

that, yeah, it's no different than letting them fuck your belly button or your armpit. Just let them get in there. Lube it up, and it's all good. He'll be happy. God will be happy. Like, buttholes for Jesus. Let's make it happen. It's really, it's like people, it's trying to pull the wool over God's eyes,

you know, where you're like, he won't know. Is he really taking that good a look? Well, he obviously is. I mean, those areas, like, you can grab it like a six-pack, so it's not that far away. So, you know, if he's looking at one, he can see the activity going on in the other. But, yeah, definitely a real thing. I like to imagine that God is like those aliens from Rick and Morty who can't bear to look at the nudity.

And he's like, oh, I don't even want to see what's going on there. When the anal sex is happening, he's like, oh, she's still a virgin. Just put your clothes back on. Just put your clothes on, Morty. Leave a comment and let me know if you guys think this is a common thing or not. There's actually some sizable percentage of girls, 10%, 25%, who give up anal so that they don't have to give up bad. I doubt that. I doubt that 25% of girls.

That's definitely hot. I think you've got to look in like specific scenarios like a catholic girls catholic girls school would be like breeding grounds for this uh for lack of a better term big time i think so yeah they are just actual whores a lot of that too um and you got it but in but with the catholic girl my thing is like isn't sodomy still an issue like like how are they not i guess sodomy isn't as bad as losing your virginity before marriage. I guess that's the... It's kind of like in the sin hierarchy.

Yeah, yeah. It's like, well, I'm not going to, like, give up the V-card, technically, because God would be really unhappy about that. But come down here, it's like, you know, God, be happy with what you've got. I could have sinned way more, so fuck off, you know? I remember... Joe, is this a thing that, like, I've heard of it. Everyone's heard of this. But, like, have you ever, like, encountered it

or, like, people at the gym tell stories? Um, I don't know what I want to say from personal experience. Well, these would probably be people that you know. Might have had a girlfriend that went to a private Catholic school, and she might have had that home end of mentality. Wow. Yep. Yeah.

And then the first time that you did it with said girl, did it go poorly? Nope. Nope. It went pretty smooth. Have you guys heard of rainbow parties? That's what she said. That's good. I heard of this thing called rainbow parties,

and it was even on Oprah or some popular thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What it is is apparently all these girls, they wear different colored lipstick, they suck dick, and in the end, your penis has lipstick remnants from all these different girls and it looks like that's not what i thought a rainbow party is what what i

what i've always heard described as a rainbow party is that you've got this like let's just say you know you've got the the senior class and they have their like popular kid party and you've got 15 girls and 15 dudes the girls will be wearing a bracelet or lipstick or nail polish or whatever that'll be a particular color to signify what they're open to doing sexually. So, like, red might be a blowjob and blue might be anal and, like, green might be everything.

You know what I mean? So, like, they'd be wearing this blue lipstick and you know she's down to blow. But the thing is, like, that's not how real fucking life works. Yeah, that's the thing about my view. Does everybody just get together? Like, just imagine how people socialize.

Like, in this weird kind of reality where it's like, yeah, we're having a rainbow party, and there's 15 guys and 15 girls, and they magically all color coordinate, and it never happens that all the girls show up with nothing on because they don't want to whore it up for nothing because, you know, you know the tendency of women to put out with nothing to gain. It's nonsense. What would you do? Walk up and stand across from each other like it's a fucking hoedown?

My rainbow party? Also nonsense. You don't get so many girls blowing guys that all of a sudden your thing is like a rainbow or a Christmas tree or whatever it would look like? That has never happened. I don't think that's a real thing.

Yes, and I thought that the anal virgins fell in the rainbow party thing. I didn't think it was a real thing. Oh, no, the anal virgins is definitely a real thing. But the idea that there are multiple girls who are into the idea of blowing one dude's dick until it looks like a rainbow first of all that wouldn't work because they'd each have to deep throat it to a different

right and then and they go and like blot their lips and then remove without doing anything to achieve this effect it's absurd but like they would have to go in order just so but it would if anything the only time that ever happens is the opposite way around you've got one slutty girl and like five guys lined up outside a room to bang her. Now that happens regularly all over the world. But never, ever, ever is there one dude. That's just one damaged lady in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But never do you have one dude who's so much of a stud that literally three or four women in a room want to blow him simultaneously and are okay with it. She's like, I'm going to lick the balls. I got the balls. Dibs on the balls. You can lick his ass, Stacy. Yeah. You have to pay them. That's why all those videos online are on sites where they're paid.

You never just walk into Starbucks and go, who's down? Oh, I see you're wearing red lipstick. What are you thinking? No. Of course not. Through my experiences in life, I've found that many times you're much closer to getting pussy than you think you are. And, but when you think, but, but many, many times you're not nearly as close to getting pussy as you think you are.

It goes both ways. Sometimes you're, you're like, I got this locked the fuck down. I'm about, I could fuck her or her. And I don't even know what maybe both tonight and nothing will happen but then there's been plenty of times where like i talked to the girl after hanging out where there once and she was like i wanted to fuck like i wanted to go up to your room or whatever so many times that happens and so that has changed the way that i talk to women now it's given me so much more confidence to know that like

there's a 75 chance that she wants to have sex right now i just have to figure out how to get her to do it without feeling guilty about it and that's the whole trick to getting laid that's what getting laid is all about that's some people should sew that into a pillow on their chaise lounge or put it on a motivational poster of like a guy hiking as he looks out over like the grand canyon and it'll just say like pussy is closer than you think because you need to remember that you know too many of you guys out there you know because you're all down on yourself because we're all like the the wayne gretzky's of sex right we're always just slapping those shots and getting nothing day in and day out but but you got to keep

in mind that a lot of those shots are going in you You just can't tell. You got to keep going. You can't give up on that goal. Just because he blocked your first attempt, you got to shuffle around. Rub that fiberglass stick on his thigh a little. Fuck with him. Shuffle around? I love Kyle's using a hockey analogy because you can see, like, the immediate loss of terms where you're like, you know,

get out there and skate. No, shuffle. That's what they do. They're a bunch of shufflers. Get out there and get on their shufflies and they shuffle around and they hit the disc. Put her in the board. So Kyle, what would you

say to a girl to make her not feel guilty about having sex? It's incredibly difficult. Here's the thing. What do you invite her back home? How does... Alright, so the specific scenario that it was,

actually, me and Syndicate and two other guys were in this swanky hotel lobby, and there was this girl there who was... I couldn't tell who she was hitting on, but I could tell that she was hitting on one of us. And she had these tight spandex pants with a big booty. And I remember it because they had the cosmos all over her ass. And I'm like, oh, I really want to spank the Saturn right off that girl.

But I didn't. I just didn't know what to do. And I didn't want to step on Tom's feet. I don't even know if he was interested or if she was interested in him or anything. So it's like I just didn't do anything. But then I was back out in L out in la another week or two later and uh and i invite her to my hotel and you know we get some drinks then i go up you know i fuck her in my room and everything and she was like why didn't you take me to your room last time and i was like

i thought you were hitting on tom she's like no i'm not hitting on tom i'm hitting on you i'm sitting with you and i'm just like i didn't see it i couldn't read and i i felt i would have felt so awkward if i had like hit on you or done this and you'd been like um i like syndicate he's have you seen him play zombies starting a new website and it's gonna make bank i'm attaching my wagon to that gravy train yeah it's hard to honestly like, talking about how you, like, get a woman to feel comfortable having sex with you, it sounds like you're a fucking child predator or something. It's stuff like, I don't

know, just physical contact that can't go the wrong way, you know what I mean? Like, friendly physical contact that could go either way and just sort of, I don't know, it's warming up to someone. It's getting them comfortable being around you and you being comfortable around them and sharing stuff. It's not creepy at all, if I can jump in.

What you're talking about doing, it's not creepy at all as long as you're being respectful. The only reason that you think it's creepy or that people think it's creepy is because all the women out there think it's creepy for the most part because they've never had to do that. They don't have to go up and they're like, oh, you just go up and you just start touching someone.

Well, obviously you don't do that. You just go up and start rubbing people. Maybe put your hand on them when you're really into a conversation and you can see a connection's coming exactly establish that you know maybe she touches your arm that's an open door put a hand on her knee and i don't mean like a hand on her knee i just mean like as you tell a punch line you go and then they went down the slide and like it's just getting comfortable with her like with physical touch and stuff and like i like to tickle ladies uh they seem to respond well to that you know give

a little tickle uh i don't use my long fingernails to like scrape the bottom of their back or anything but i i think physical contact with the woman that you just have met and you're trying to have sex with or get comfortable with having sex with you is very key initially to get her comfortable with you in a physical way that and and trust. You need to let her know that you're not some fucking psycho. You have no interest in beating her up or harming her because that's the number one fear in every woman's head is that you're going to

rape her and murder her. They all have that in their head and they should. They should have it in their head because there is a small percentage of men who do want to rape and kill you ladies so keep that in mind. I just want to fuck you and it'll be, ladies, so keep that in mind. I just want to fuck you, and it'll be good. So just keep that in mind. I want to buy you some gifts and maybe some drinks and have some sex, and then we'll watch Family Guy.

Like, that's all. You know, that condom could be a gift. You know, I'll pay for those. The burritos afterward, a gift. Not paying half of the taxi fare back to her house late at night, a gift. There's a lot of things that I think that guys do to women that make it difficult for decent guys to hook up and to get ladies. I've never understood why. I would sleep with a girl, and she'd be like, you're not going to call me, are you? And I'm like, of course I'm going to

call you. I want to fuck you again. And she'd be like, no, guys never call me back. And I'm like of course I'm gonna call you I want to fuck you again and she'd be like no guys never call me back and I'm like well with this attitude I'm kind of understanding why like no but but but hear me out here random girl that I just had sex with I just had sex with you and I really enjoyed it I want to do it again and the only way to facilitate that is by maintaining pleasant contact with you so I don't understand these guys who are out there like putting notches on their bedposts or on their belt or whatever and just trying to fuck 20 different girls once. I want to fuck 20 different girls 20 different

times. I want to be your friend forever now. Why can't we always be friends? I have no interest in having sex with a girl and then getting her out of my life forever. I don't get that. Yeah, there's a lot of poisoning the well that goes on with creepy guys ruining it for everybody else

where they'll take the advice you said, but they won't go in and, you know, have a fun conversation, make them laugh, you know, get everybody on the same page and then, you know, do what you said, just something subtle and not frightening. Do you find many girls want that relationship, Kyle? Yes.

Yes. I've never – I can't think of the girl who has not wanted that relationship because I'm a fun guy. Texting with me is always pretty fun stuff. I like to send lots of memes and jokes and stuff. And I'll think of a – if I have a conversation with somebody, I'll be looking for ways to turn that conversation into a joke later in a text message or through a meme or something I'm fun to text with so like

Most of the girls that that I've not I don't know There's probably eight or nine girls that I could probably contact now and would be okay with that going on some kind of a mini Vacation with me or something like that because I'm not disrespectful and and and I'm a nice guy about it I'm honest about it all. It's just like, hey, I like you a lot but you live in Wichita. So think of whatever you can. Maybe a big chunk of girls

who are like, alright, this isn't what I want but I will do this in hopes that someday it grows into what they want. There's been one girl who felt that way but most of them are... like, I like cool girls who aren't going to be clingy and weird like that and aren't looking for that from me.

Like, you should know going in that, like, this probably isn't going to work up to us getting married or anything. This is just kind of us having fun and, like, you know, having some experiences together. They don't think the same way as us, though. Like, when you have a friend who is female, you know, having some experiences together. They don't think the same way as us, though. Like, when you have a friend who is female, you know, given the opportunity, you want to bang her. If she were like, hey, we're friends. Let's have sex.

We want to have sex with each other. Let's do that. You would do that 100% of the time because that's what you really want to be doing every time you're hanging out. For the most part, you want to be fucking. You know? You're not hanging out because, like, maybe you are genuinely good friends, but you'd also want to fuck. For them, maybe they think you're a out for the most part you want to be fucking you know you're not hanging out because like maybe you are genuinely good friends but you'd also want to fuck for them maybe they think you're a barrel of fun you are very fun to text because there's always funny gifs and images coming through right but in their head they're thinking you know maybe a couple more times and

he's going to get attached and then maybe we maybe something happened that's just there's nothing wrong with that it's just the nature of you know they're using sex to get a relationship you're using sometimes that's definitely true promise of a relationship sex not promise but an inkling of a hint you know i often pick women i often pick women who are unable to to do that like like um you know maybe they're married or they're already in a relationship that's not going so well or something like that or they got kids or something like that those are good relationships to have yeah always hear that kids go for a woman with many children yes and 100 still married he's a shithead anyway yeah like there's so many there's so many like bad marriage i don't i don't think there's anything wrong with

that with sleeping with a married woman if the the marriage is over and people have moved out and they're not even cohabitating anymore, it's not like... I mean, I guess if we're going to go to biblical times, I'm breaking some sort of sacrament and so is she, and maybe we should be stoned to death. But it's 2016? And I don't really put too much stock in the marriage unless it's unless the people in it are putting a lot of stock in the marriage so um how many girls how many girls are listening to this right now thinking you're talking about specifically

them they're like oh he's definitely talking about me there's probably there's no they do i i usually tell them not to listen um there's probably two or three listening. And I think they all know that I have a mutual respect with them all and I care about them. And that's just the deal. right like oh yeah I completely care about you I respect you like I think it's this big thing but then if you get into different rooms you know you really don't care about the message you just mowing the lawn like oh yeah flip this bitch a meme and I'll get this one a dick pic and maintain this thing so long as I can so you're you're definitely half right there I do try to excel at being an awesome guy if I'm with a girl. Like, you know, I'll pay for everything, and I'm going to buy you a gift or something like that.

And, you know, oh, your car broke down? Well, take mine. You know, that sort of thing. But what I'm not doing is, like, thinking less of her. I'm not being disingenuous. I mean it. And, yeah, I might text another girl the next day but i like her too you just you just wouldn't pass up another girl for her i would prefer to

combine both girls together that would be the ideal scenario like like what i often do is i'm just like hey do you like redheads well this let me introduce you to a friend of mine you know like if you can work a three-way into it or something like that. My thing is I just struggle with monogamy, and I like lots of different kinds of women. And I like different people, and I have a hard time being friends with guys because guys can be assholes, and I find that women are a lot easier to be friends with. I've got lots of women friends, and it's just as much about my friendship with a lot of the girls that I talk

to as it is about some sort of sexual relationship. I mean, there's girls that I haven't hooked up with or went on one of my many vacations with in like two or three years, but I still care about them a lot and still talk to them on a regular basis, and we might go on some kind of a vacation soon or something like that, or a

trip or hang out. Just no monogamy for me because that's bullshit. Let me give you guys an ad read. I'll take two. You heard it. This episode of Painkiller already is being brought to you in part by Dollar Shave Club. Guys, we really

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always found to be disgusting. So everything's nice and sort of a charcoal gray. I'm going to get the PC moved in there. Get all my gaming stuff moved in there. The pool table, the ping pong, the hockey. Is the table coming along? No, I keep... It's sitting over

there in a pile. I need to get back on it, but it's... We found two people that were supposedly able to play back on it, but we found two people that were supposedly able to plane this thing, but they weren't able to. One guy didn't have the right kind of planer, and then the next guy just hasn't gotten done. Is the table

already attached, or do you need to plane the individual boards? I need to plane the individual boards. Attaching the thing is not a big deal, because it's just sitting them on to boards on the wall. I wasn't sure if you were like like sometimes what will happen is people will plane them the boards will be a little cockeyed and they'll just take off another eighth so that the top is flat yeah that's that would take a serious planer that's what we're doing yeah yeah

yeah you need to find a guy with a big drum sander. Is this like a custom table? What's the significance of this table? Yeah, I built a gaming PC so that I could kind of – it needed an upgrade. So I wanted to play the next-gen games and high frame rates. So I got this big ultra-wide 3540 by 1440p monitor, and I got, I don't know, a $2,000 or $3,000 gaming PC. And I got an HTC Vive for the VR stuff, and I'm building a nice desk to put it all

on and under and hide all the wires and make it look nice. And I think I might do some videos that utilize the Vive, so I'm kind of setting that room up for that. You need a lot of space to use the Vive. How do you like it? I fucking love it, dude.

It looks awesome. First of all, it's a workout. I'll be dripping with sweat when I'm done, depending on the game I play. There are plenty of games that you could play and not break a sweat, but I play a game. It's basically, you pick any song. It could be from

their catalog, or you could just pick one, and as the beat hits like boom boom boom boom you're getting these orbs floating toward you and you have to punch them and you've got an orange shield and a blue shield and the balls are orange or blue and so you have to like you know it's match them up yeah and it's very difficult and I just find myself just going wide-eyed so I can just see everything as one big picture rather than focusing on things and i'm just and and by two songs into that i'm

just i gotta take a breather uh and then there's a bow and arrow game made by valve uh it's actually a mini game that that that in a inside of a game called the lab that valve made but it's got that portal feel to it with the voice acting and stuff. And you're basically defending a castle from these bad guys that keep charging in waves and shooting a bow and arrow at them. And you've got to lead them and shoot above them and stuff. And so I'm

cranking arrows out, hundreds of arrows in a few minutes. And between rounds of that, my arms are so burnt out that I just go I just like let them fall I just let them fall in front of me and just hang I'm just like oh shit does it and there's a feel like a finished product does it feel like it's kind of beta year so the games are not finished products yet the games are um are definitely not but, but the hardware is a finished product.

It really knows exactly where you are at all times. So like when a spider shoots a web at me in the zombie game, I can do that, and it'll just go right by my face. It's matching. I've got a gun in one hand and a flashlight in the other or a knife in the other, and I'm just fucking slash, slash, slash, slash. I've been playing this game called the Brookhaven Experiment, which is like trans-dimensional monsters are coming in, and you basically stand in your play area, however big it is. For me, it's small because of this room.

That's one of the main reasons I'm going to the other room. It's eight times bigger than this. But I've got this size room to shuffle around in and literally run around. But the zombies or monsters are coming from four to six different directions. You've got one gun, one flashlight with limited batteries. And it's terrifying.

Like, you'll turn around and there'll be a really disgusting spider scorpion monster that's as big as a cow right next to you. And I mean, it looks like it's right fucking next to you, and I'm just ahhhhhh! Like, pistol-whipping it and stabbing it. How do you not smash into the walls?

Because I would think that you just creep closer, closer, closer. So they got it, it's called I think it's called chaperone mode or something like that, and if you get too close to the wall with either your head or your hands, you sort of see this light blue, wiry outline of where the walls actually are okay but if you ever get i i get into the game pretty pretty intense intensely

sometimes and i've punched these walls to the point where i wondered if my knuckles were bleeding yeah and i can see it happening you start freaking out i was playing um dodgeball and like i i was trying to catch the dodgeball that i had dodged to like get him out and I brought my hand back like this and just slammed the back of my hand right into one of these walls over here and it's four in the morning Kitty texts me, she's like, everything okay down there? I heard a loud

smash but it's, and then the other thing of course is, you know, I put these on over the Vive and so I can't hear anything and i can't see anything in the outside world so it's a little scary sometimes because you know somebody could come in that door and just fucking like cut my throat or something while i'm playing the vibe so i get i get real scared about that i go and like make sure that all the doors are locked before

i go in and everything sorry kitty i'd be fucking with you so bad i mean she does water bottles and okay there's a reason i'm playing down here instead of up there i was playing in the living and everything. If I were Kitty, I'd be fucking with you so bad. I'd be spraying you water bottles and all kinds of stuff. There's a reason I'm playing down here instead of up there. I was playing in the living room and every time she would walk past, she would poke me in the stomach. Give me a firm poke right in the middle of my stomach

and knock the wind out of me and my solar plex. Or she'd just slap me in the ass with a towel or something. Just scare the fuck out of me if I'm playing something. I'm just trying to play dodgeball here. Yeah. Well, I've been playing scary games lately, so they're very immersive.

And after a while, you forget that you're standing in a dark room at 3 in the morning. You're like, you're trying to sound whore the aliens that are literally creeping up behind you and get headshots and be accurate with limited ammo. And then all of a sudden, somebody kicks you in the ass and you're just terrified it's it's really immersive it's really good the games are not a finished product yet but those are just a year away and in the meantime I'm

really enjoying the porn the porn is outrageous it looks like there's a chick in the room with you and she's doing dirty stuff to you and you can pick what you wanted to do you it's it looks real it's 3d fucking porn of a chick blowing you or writing your dick and it looks real it's outrageous um the virtual desktop stuff you just sold a lot of those you just sold a lot of those basically oh yeah there's another um you can do things with programs like virtual desktop and some other programs that are similar where I'm in my virtual space, but I'm on my desktop computer. So I like grab Skype and I'm like, Skype goes here. YouTube, it goes right here. It's like that scene in the second or third Matrix movie where they're like moving things around. Yeah. Yeah. So you can put your video

screens all around you in three dimensions and just kind of view them like that. It's really cool. That could be pretty awesome. Yeah, I'm looking forward to more games coming up. Fallout next year is fully supported, so you're going to be able to play Fallout 4 from VR. And the bigger your space, the better. Now, right now, the court is

plenty long enough for me to walk out of this room with it attached, but I'm going to get some extensions on that and play in the big room. And I've got a 6,000 square foot space I could play in that I'm thinking about utilizing. And then, of course, there are the people who are talking about going backpack mode, where you get a really powerful gaming laptop. The 1080s will be in laptops for too long. Get a laptop on your back in a backpack

that's powering the thing so you don't have cords to drag around and you can play in a huge space and so instead of using the teleport feature where you know you point where you want to go and click and that's how you move you can just run you just run and i'm already doing that to some extent but you're limited by your play space. Yeah, right. Are you still playing Fallout? I haven't since I've been playing The Witcher because I can play it in 4K at like 50 frames now, which is

just, it's beautiful. It's absurd. And the story in that game is like a movie. It's very good. And I've been playing lots of VR stuff. And then Pokemon Go. So I haven't been back to Fallout on the console in a while. I love all the mods. I like how they're in DLC every month,

but the mods are so awesome. You can do so much cool shit. Do you have a PC, Joe? You're an Apple guy. I didn't know that you had a... Console. I'm playing Fallout on console. But there's mods on console.

Yeah, they brought the mods to console, which is very cool stuff. Yeah, it's been a great year for gaming so much good games so much cool stuff so much new technology um like i said earlier with nintendo go doing the sort of like i don't know this free game that's become the biggest thing ever you know surpassing things like twitter and all the major apps let alone gaming um and then you know coming out with that nes later in the year. And then you got Xbox and Sony trying to make

4K consoles and 4K Blu-ray players. Is that this year too? I don't know. I was never into Zelda. I thought it was like spring. I think Ogre in a Time was the best game ever. It was so good. So I'm super excited

about this new one. I'm going to buy whatever it's on. I'm going to end up buying the console just to play it. Whether it's a Wii or Wii U or whatever. Yeah, I never got into that. I don't think I had the right console to be into it, but I always heard that it was great. I'm excited to see the... I'm imagining Dead Space

in VR, and that would be legitimately horrifying. It was scary when I played it, what, five years ago. Loud Astro A40s on and just in my living room playing it with really loud volume. I can't imagine. You think Dead Space was scary? Yes.

Oh yeah, that was a scary game. Very scary. You're just sneaking through. Am I mixing it up? That's the space shooter with the blue line, right? Yes. It's just an arcade game to me. Oh, that's an incredible game.

Did you play the first one? I think I played all three. It's just an arcade-y shooter type thing, right? No. No. No, it's... You're going around collecting stuff. It's the one where you can put your palm down

and the blue line tells you where to go. Yep, yep. You thought that was scary? Yeah, that was definitely scary. It was put out there as a horror game. Like, that's why people bought it. Yeah, that's the scariest game I've ever played. I remember going down in that elevator.

I tried to beat it in one sitting, and I remember that you're going down in this blood-soaked elevator, and the elevator music is Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and it's a little girl singing Twinkle Twinkle and I look at my inventory and I got like 8 bullets in my gun, my health is down to like

15 and I know what's at the bottom of that elevator shaft. It's a whole dungeon crawl of blood, guts and gore with monsters I can't even handle that I'll have to run from and I'm just like feeling nauseous and I'm just like alright nauseous, and I'm just like, alright I gotta take a break, this is, I'm too unsettled by this game to

even continue anymore, yeah, that's the scariest game I've ever played in my life Dead Space 2, it might have been Dead Space 1, but there's one scene where like, you haven't seen another living human like you the entire game and you go down and you're walking through the daycare section of the ship and you're walking through the daycare section of

the ship what used to be the daycare where all the workers would drop their kids off and then go Fixing wherever the hell they were doing and you walk by and you look into the daycare through the window there and you can see A woman there the first human you've seen all game the only other person on this monolithic ship that survived and then you see this deranged little malformed fetus with the back part of like a tadpole and a messed up like pussy head kind of just crawling towards the lady as she goes oh come here oh come here and at that point you can tell ah she's gone completely crazy and the baby just gets up to her gets in her arms and then

explodes blood covers the entire window you're looking through and that's when i uh i took a life took like a two-day break from that game so i was like this is that joe have you played this game i haven't but i like i've been i was looking up i i haven't been scared by a game since the original resident evil which i was like eight four yeah i don't get scared by games very much you have to get into it you have very much. That's because you don't have to get into it. You have to get immersed in the game. You can't play with your phone in one hand and like YouTube

open and Skype open. You actually think I'm doing that? You think I have a phone in one hand and I'm playing a controller one-handed? It's a dual-stick game. Not literally in one hand. You've got it sitting there and you're like, oh, let me see what this is. You need to be focused on it. You've got it sitting there and you're like, oh, let me see what this is. You need to be focused on it.

You've got to be immersed. I just don't get it. I'm giving it my attention. Reading all the logs. Here's the deal. I rarely get scared by games, but I have been scared and people might not like the one. It's, what's the one with the. Flight Simulator.

No, the guy, the white boy used to fake his scare at it all the time slenderman slenderman i played slenderman and i was i recorded it and the theme of the video was going to be you guys are all pussies this game isn't actually scary and i was scared the audio on it was incredible i've told this before at one one point my headphone cord brushed my thigh. I was only wearing boxers. It was like, what the... I was scared to death. That game actually frightened me the first time I played it.

Colin got scared. He would keep asking me to take over. I had him play it. PT, have you played Playable Trailer? The Playable Teaser, Playable Trailer, whatever. That Hidekiyo Yashima game? It was like a dead – I heard about it.

It was – Joe, have you played it, PT? No. It was like last year. You could download it off fucking PlayStation Network, and it was like a trailer for the game, the scariest thing I've ever played because it was so good. Anyway, I'll get off that since nobody's played it. I'm excited for

horror games in VR. That'll be really cool. The Brookhaven Experiment is the main horror game in VR. There's a storyline and the fact that you're always in the dark. You're always in the dark. The game is played in the darkness at night time. You don't even need VR. You just close your eyes.

You can see the stars above you like you would normally. And there's fires burning because it's a post-apocalyptic thing. And you've got a flashlight. And without the flashlight, you can't see more than three feet. But you can hear. So I'm just like this, listening. And I hear the creeping to my left. And I'm like looking through the darkness.

And I'm like, yeah, I see it. I see it. But I can't tell if it's the one that takes eight bullets to kill, or the one that takes just one headshot to kill. So I'm just like, let me squeeze off a headshot. And it goes, and starts rushing you, like, full on.

And it's just like, and the muzzle flash is going off, so you can see, like, in, like, little flashes as he gets closer, and. So you can see like in like, like, like, like little flashes as he gets closer. And then he dies. You're like, Oh,

Oh, Oh. And then you look straight up and there is a spider, the size of a Volkswagen crawling down. And it, and I'm like, ah, got you now.

And he shoots web on your gun. And you're just like fucking trying to get the web off. You're gone. So to work now, but now there's little minions crawling all over your legs so you're beating them off with a flashlight it's uh i'm usually sweaty and i'm usually sweaty i don't even think about like a lot of the vr games like i think i saw you do a lightsaber one i was like ah this is cool but i feel like you know it might wear

out quickly that horror game dude it could take horror to a new level. I haven't beaten it yet. I've jumped on it two or three different play sessions and I have not beaten it yet. It's very hard to beat. It's scary as fuck. And after a couple of hours, I need to go upstairs. It's kind of a one-level thing like Slenderman?

No. So there's a storyline. It's sort of a campaign. And you've got a voice in your head, and she's like, We didn't know this would happen. We thought we'd open. We called it a peephole, a way to look into another dimension and see what was there. But they saw through, too.

And then it ripped open and became a door well let's hope it's a door because then maybe we can close it and then and then you're like all right shit and you're sitting there waiting on a flash drive to download some information she needs so you've got to guard this little flash drive and this computer next to you and hold off a few waves of bad guys for several minutes and then you get to go to the next level, where you kind of do the same thing. You're always standing in a play space that's as big as your play space that you have to operate in,

and there's always monsters coming at you from at least four angles, usually six or eight angles, and you've just got to have your head just constantly spinning so that you see them coming. It's very stressful and very fun. And I gotta say, like, um, the... So I know, obviously I know what it's like to shoot a gun in real life,

and the VR gun stuff is so accurate that it could be used as a trainer. I'm playing a game called Hot Dogs Hand Grenades, and, uh, Hot Dogs Horseshoes and Hand Grenades. Um, and I'm picking up a Glock and loading the magazine into it

and cocking it and unloading it and grabbing the magazine. And it's got all the guns that I like. It's got the Ruger Mark II, a Glock, it's got AK-47, AR-15. It's so true to life that your AR-15 is sitting

there with an ACOG scope next to it and I'm like, oh, I guess I'll just grab the ACOG and put it here and I'm sure it'll just, boop, be on the gun. No! I don't know how to put the sight on the gun. I got the sight in one hand and the gun in the other. I sat there for 10 minutes before I just decided I'd pick a gun without a sight because you've got to

turn screws and stuff and you've got to cock the gun and it's really cool. I can't wait for the AAA titles that big-name companies have gotten behind and pumped money into. That guy's got big.

He's so happy. Hi, Woody. Hi, Mookie. Say hi, Kyle. Hi, Kyle. Say hi, Marka. Hi, Marka. Nice. Hi. Nookie's gamer tag. Hi, Nuka. Nice. Hi. Hey. Nookie's gamer tag.

Wow, he's gotten big. Yeah. He's still little, but... How old is he? Two and a half. I would have guessed... He's got a little bit of a bug on his belly. Nice. He's so skinny.

It's so he's impervious to your lift. What? Like Lorenzo, right? He's working on his body armor. Lorenzo's got something to share. He's the big guy, right? Lorenzo? Really big arms, too? One of my best sparring partners is Diego Camp.

They're the ones I spar with every day. What's his name? Lorenzo what? I want to look him up. Lorenzo? They're the ones I spar with every day. What's his name? Lorenzo what? I want to look him up because I don't know who that says. Lorenzo Cain. K-A-N-E. I think I saw him post-fight there. Literally seconds after the fight.

Maybe congratulating you or hugging you. I was going to say you had some new people in your corner this time. I don't know. Maybe I haven't observed your corners lately. I had Joe Pomfret, Steve Meese, and Frank Camisa. Frank's been on my corner

the last three fights. I guess Brendan used to be there, right? Brendan does all the video blog stuff. Brendan was there too. But he used to be in the corner. Am I wrong about that? No, he's never been in the corner, but he's always in the back room. Who was in your corner in Tokyo? Steve Mays.

Ricky. Ricky. And... Chris, maybe? I don't know. Maybe Brandon. Brandon might have been. Maybe for that fight.

That would have been horrible. What I'm curious about with UFC fighters is like, at least in hockey, which is what I played growing up, there's a lot of shit talk between players constantly. Is there a lot of fucked up little whisperings to each other? Not really. Some people talk shit. Nate Diaz will talk a lot of

shit during his fight, but he's not so subtle about it. You'll know. The crowd knows. But there aren't people like whispering like i'm gonna kill your whole family i don't know sometimes if you're choking someone you just think oh it'll be over soon just that's even worse that oh that's a confident cocky kind of shit talk but i guess if they're in a chokehold and you're a professional fighter you can do that i feel like it'd be like hey dude this is this is sunken real deep. You got about three seconds

to make a decision. You're going to sleep. Have you ever been choked unconscious, Taylor? No, I've never been choked unconscious. You should avoid it. I've lived my life that way up until now, and I'm gonna keep all the brain cells I can by not

being choked out unconscious willy-nilly. You know, maybe I get choked out and then I can't write in cursive anymore or something. Like, I don't remember. Ah, they don't teach that in schools anymore anyway. They don't. I heard that. Yeah. I guess I was one of the last groups to go through and have to learn that useless

nonsense that I never used out. They don't even teach penmanship. Stern was talking about this the last groups to go through and have to learn that useless nonsense that I never use now. They don't even teach penmanship. Stern was talking about this the other day. Stern went and got a tutor to teach him how to write because he was uncomfortable with his letters. When he would write, he was uncomfortable with how sloppy it looked, and he went and got a teacher to teach him to write. So now when he signs Howard Stern, it looks like it's some calligraphy bullshit that looks beautiful i'm a my penmanship is not nearly as good as kyle's that wasn't a joke you have good penmanship like i thanks it's good to have good penmanship it's legible mine's more scratchy but it looks

like an adult's writing like it's it's not like all like giant and weird looking or anything like it looks normal i've never taken any classes for it but mine is terrible terrible if i print especially if i print in a hurry my wife says it looks like serial killers chicken scratch it's a mess if i take my time it looks okay my signature i usually just start the m and then make a line and i do it big and bold. Like, I'm not embarrassed of my fucking signature because it's just an M and a scratch. And people will be like, what's that say? I'm like, that's my signature.

That's what my penmanship's heart rate monitor would look like, slowly dying. 120 years ago, you just made an X. Yeah, like 15 years ago, I would have like apologized or something. Make your mark, Mr. Woodworth. Now I'm just like, that's my signature. You know, like I'm signing this check, aren't I? Like, what the fuck? You know, like.

They're like, we don't know. Could we see some ID? Are you? My driver's license got the same one. I just adopted it. Like, you can't read it but it's mine i uh i worked with someone once who just by watching them write one day i was like dude your penmanship is like like horrible like what the fuck did you learn to write ever and like so me and one of my co-workers and this like gave him shit for a while and then we're like no you know what dude we're gonna we're gonna they give you little tips and make it so that

you know uh you don't look like a seven-year-old who has six seconds to write an escape letter that they can throw out the window of the serial killer dungeon they're currently being held in like we want to make it so you write like an adult and we told them to write out numbers this fucker when you write a seven, you go, I guess I do a backwards three, you go, seven. I put a little dash in the middle of mine. I don't know why, but I, seven. What he did is he put a line out there

and then started from the bottom and drew a line up to the seven. And it looked abysmal. It looked like the way way if you told a monkey what do you think a 7 is? The monkey would go and it would do better than that. It was embarrassing, this guy's handwriting.

Looking at his notes when we were doing shit he had whole pages that contained two thoughts because every letter was so big. Ridiculous. I remember being in fourth grade and they had that thing above the

it wasn't a blackboard, it was a marker board. There was this big banner that had the full alphabet and cursive uppercase and lowercase. I'd just sit there and practice that when we didn't have anything to do because if your teacher couldn't read your work, then it was wrong. You know, you can't write a book report and expect it to get any kind of a grade if you can't fucking read your writing.

So like and that's what we were writing so many book reports like like every it was one a week. We're doing some kind of accelerated reader program bullshit. And I just remember like failing a couple of them because she couldn't read my handwriting and just really buckling down and and trying to learn that i always had an interesting calligraphy too i always thought that would be really nice to be able to like i'd love to like write someone a handwritten note and and like with like beautiful calligraphy like not not even any lines on the paper to keep it straight just my wife is learning that she practices all the time like i'll go into her office and there'll be a page full of lowercase i's.

Just getting it perfect. You want an idea for a good gift for her? Get her some good paper. You might think paper is paper but they sell very nice paper if you go to one of those stores. It's very difficult to find something that she hasn't bought yet.

I would get her very expensive paper. I'm sure she's already got the calligrapher's pen and all that stuff she doesn't need that but i would also get the wax and the stamp to seal them you know like game of thrones style you can get those right off the internet and you can get your own like woodworth one or whatever she's got that she's got the wax and the stamp, of course. Yeah, and that when she, like her practice paper is not even like paper you'd recognize. Like it, it's like parchment. It's like, yeah, yeah. It's, that's just what she's... Is it like that really smooth to the touch when like you run your finger over it, it almost feels like glossy? No, I want to say... It's the opposite. Yeah, it's a little rougher. You hold it up.

It's different levels of transparency. If you were to hold it against a light, it's inconsistent. She just does her thing. She's got a special ruler to make straight lines. It seems like there's lots of things that would make straight lines, but she bought

one for this task. When I was 13 and I saw Lord of the Rings, the Fellowship of the Rings Extended Edition for the first time, you obviously see when Gandalf is in Minas Tirith doing all of his research for those seven years, you see him once pour the wax on the letter and he takes his wizardly stamp, but he presses it down and pulls it out.

And I was like, that's so cool. Man, it would have been dope to be, like, royalty or a wizard back in the obviously not a wizard back in the day, whatever. That'd be my first choice. I tried to do that with just regular candle wax that I got out of, like, a French vanilla Yankee candle

at my house, and I just, like, wrote a letter and I dumped it on there, and I tried to, like, I didn't have a seal, I guess that doesn't work. It's a different wax. No, it just got all over the goddamn place and it didn't hold the letter closed at all. It just ruined the paper. So there you go.

What Lord of the Rings character would you want to be? Oh, man. You want to be an elf. Yeah, you do want to be an elf. You'd have to pick an elf. Well, you could also to be an elf. You have to pick an elf. Well, you could also pick Gimli, because Gimli made it to the Undying Lands with Legolas. Yeah, but Gimli has so many drawbacks.

He's not an attractive guy. He's definitely smelly. I never saw him bathe once. At least with Legolas, you could pull lots of elf pussy. Galadriel would be a good character to be. I don't think Elven should put out. Aragorn would be good, too. He's got kind be a good character to be. I was going to say Saruman. Aragorn would be good too. He's kind of the best of both worlds.

Saruman would be great if you could change his trajectory, but if you had to jump in at the end, I'd say probably Gandalf, because he's still alive, he's going to be immortal, and he's super fucking powerful. So what does Morgoth hold on Saruman? Is he like a puppet master where he can't even

like you like if you wanted to be good could he be like fuck you morgoth i'm gonna be good now could he do that or is he totally a puppet like no he he could have been good like that's why gandalf in the first movie was like you know this is the wisest motherfucker in the land like we're gonna go ask like i'm a wizard and i'm telling you we're going to ask this fucking guy because he's going to know because that's, like, the level of respect he had for Saruman. But, yeah, Saruman could have said, fuck off, Sauron. I'm not listening to you and doing your bidding.

But he did, and I guess the more he went down that hole, then he started investing in Uruk-hai pits or whatever. He had to follow it through. Yeah, I think I would definitely pick an elf. They're the good-looking ones, so they're the obvious choice right good looking and immortal yeah uh they can die of broken hearts as kind of silly as that and arrows it would seem because they died a lot at the wall yes they can be killed and they can die from disease if they get sick and they can die like arwen is,

where she's just like, oh my God, the guy I like is having to go do shit without me and I'm literally dying. How clingy is she? Jesus Christ, Liv Tyler, give the man some space. He spent his entire life at your house. Literally. This guy spent like 90 years hanging out with arwen and then he was like

i gotta go save the world it's gonna take maybe five six years i don't know but hell i live to like 190 and you live forever so drop in the pail right and she's literally dying she's so clingy when he's gone oh it's fine's fine. You can go. No. I'm not mad. I'm not mad. I'm just dying. I'm just dying. I'll just die a little every day while you're gone. I just kind of thought that, you know, maybe you'd stay and save your own girlfriend before you went out saving a bunch of

those lesser races. Arwen, we've talked about it. I'm not comfortable calling everyone a lesser race. Where's my necklace? Well, I was looking through the Palantir, and I saw Sauron. I fucking dropped it. What do you want me to do?

Oh, you dropped it. Well, great, great. Oh, you dropped it. You didn't lose it in a tranny skirt, you know, in old times. You were fucking that Rohanian whore, weren't you? That gap in her teeth. You son of a bitch.

Dude, how crazy is that, that he hooked up with Arwen and then almost hooked up with an Aeowyn? Yeah, yeah. Very close. Definitely so. I thought that she was hot, too. I always had a thing for Liv Tyler because I think Liv Tyler is hotter as an elf than she is as a human being. Something about Arwen with the ears, the makeup, the special effects they lay on her to make her look all smooth and glowy because you know elves glow a little I guess magical you know and then there's that part where she's

like riding the shit out of that horse carrying Frodo like being all badass and she's like she's like she pulls out this elf sword she's like come and take him I was like fuck yeah that's awesome that she says a little magic makes the river come and like horse form and take them all out. That was cool. Very sexy lady. She was raised by her non-biological father for her whole life and then she found out Steven Tyler was her dad

and cut off the old dad and was like, Steven Tyler is my dad. He's fucking Aerosmith, motherfucker. Fuck that guy who paid for my schooling and wiped my ass for my whole life. Forget him. So that was a little shitty ever, I guess. Wow, I didn't know that about her.

That's really, genuinely a horrible thing to do. I don't know the inside story. It's not like I'm hanging out with... Maybe the guy molested her, or maybe he's a douchebag, or maybe she just really liked Aerosmith. Maybe he didn't have $300 million. Or maybe, I think Steve and Tyler were just helping her, like, acting

career. Of course. So, in public, it seemed like, you know, they were the pair. Maybe behind the scenes, she loved her dad, too. Do you know, and this is kind of a commonly known thing, I guess, if you really nitty-gritty movie thing, do you know who Angelina Jolie's father is?

Yeah, John Voight. Yeah, yeah. John Voight is Angelina Jolie's father is? Yeah, John Boyd. Yeah. John Boyd is Angelina Jolie's father. I don't know him. What did he do? What did he play in? He's done a ton of stuff. Mickey, right? Mickey from Ray Donovan? Yeah, Deliverance. What was he in Deliverance?

Who was he? Which one? Well, Burt Reynolds plays the guy who's like the badass. Midnight Cowboy, Runaway Train, Mission Impossible. But Ned Beatty is the one who gets raped. Right. So John Voight is the other one. Well, there's two more. He's the one with the bow who was getting all shaky in the moment of truth.

Yep, the one who didn't play guitar who's left. Yeah. Who was getting all shaky in the moment of truth. Yep, the one who didn't play guitar is left. You know, that kid who was there playing the guitar, apparently he actually lives around here and is a grown-up now. And I don't mean like here, but like 45 minutes from here. That retarded kid who played the fuck out of that banjo, that was impressive.

I like that part of the movie, and then I remember watching that for the first time, I guess I was like 13, and the idea of rape then I remember watching that for the first time. I guess I was like 13. And the idea of rape to a 13-year-old guy is just so unsettling. Just when Ned Beatty's getting raped in that dirty little sandbar just on the side of that river. And, like, that's what it looks like here. Like, that movie was filmed here. Here.

Like, so everything looks like my backyard. It was so disturbing. Something about that. It's like you don't get to be the same again like you don't like it i don't know you gotta get into it pushing back on him or something like make him feel dirty for fucking you'd be like fuck yeah give me that little dick he's like little what the hell who am i fucking here? There's an emotional trauma that comes with rape. All of a sudden he starts getting sobbed. That's all you got?

What, too much for you? Yeah. Kids are only class fuck harder than you. Joe, you ready? That's how he should have handled that what's something a friend has said to you that changed the way you looked at him uh

I don't know nothing that answer sucks I don't know I don't know never I don't know. You're on the board? All right, next thing. I don't know. I don't... Never? I don't think so.

You're my friend. I don't think you could say anything that would change it that much. I don't know. Mine's old. I've told this story before. I guess I'd call him my friend at the time. I don't know. We were drifting apart.

At 17, he went into a 7-Eleven. Is that. At 17, he went into like a 7-Eleven. Is that around the country? Does everyone know what a 7-Eleven is? Like a Quickie Mart? Yep. And anyway, he got beat up by like a – I'll just say it. He got beat up by a bunch of black guys. And when he first told the story to me, it was that he was just randomly jumped.

Like, he didn't do anything to bring this upon himself. And while he didn't deserve this kind of damage, he has, like, broken orbital bone and stuff. Was he ever pretty again? Or was he forever maimed? No, he was pretty again. This guy just wanted to destroy something? That matters. Anyway, what happened was this little kid, he was, like, 17.

The kid was, like, like 12 and he cut in line now i don't know if they were like sort of approaching at the same time or if the kid just fully cut in line or what the scoop was but he said um you know effing ninja is always cutting in line but didn't say ninjas and uh like i don't know that forever i realized like ah he's totally racist and by the way this is not like a stereotype i'm familiar with you know this like oh you know black people always cutting in line yeah if he said you know never fucking tipping or paying their bills or something like that you know i'd have been like yeah i hear you i hear you they don't tip you know that's the thing if anybody out there in the service industry, anybody out there who's ever worked for tips, put in the comment box and let everybody else here know that black people don't tip because it's a thing.

Well, have you worked for tips? No, I haven't, but I've fucked a lot of waitresses. Just as good. Have any of us ever worked for tips? I'm just curious. I have. No. No.

I got a good one, so i do i do have someone so one of one of my uh my real good friends so you know that chris pomquist uh you know chris right so chris has a twin brother jay who i was i was definitely much better friends with jay when i first you know became friends with them and started training with jay jay was the reason i started fighting he was the reason i started training and maybe not the reason i started training. Maybe not the reason I started training, but he was the reason I started fighting. And whenever I talk about how people always ask me how I got into fighting, it always starts with, you know, one of my buddies was taking fights, and I was helping him, and I was doing well against him.

Well, I'm always talking about Jay. So fast forward, like, you know, 10 years from when we started. And don't see Jay at at all anymore he moved away um one of the marines lives down in virginia now minnesota whatever and not friends with jay at all anymore don't talk to him have him blocked on every social media everything now you are but you weren't mad at him before you just drifted no no no well so what happened is we 100% drifted over the course of years and years. And I lost the fight and Jay takes it upon himself to be like, he was like, you're going to be the guy that's giving me tough love. But he's not giving me tough love talking to me.

He decides to go and post on the underground or a message board. He's like, well, Joe needs to do this and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And 100% doesn't know what he's talking about. So I freaking got it right on him. I'm like, dude, what the fuck? You don't know what you're talking about. You're not around. You act like you're – he puts it as like he's trying to make himself look better is what he's trying to do.

He's posting online, like, I'm good friends with Joe, and this is what his problem is, and starts jumping. But it's 100% trying to make himself seem more important like he's in the know. I'm like, motherfucker, you and this is what his problem is. He starts jumping. It's 100% trying to make himself seem more important. He's in the know. I'm like, motherfucker, you haven't been around for 10 years. Maybe stop acting like you're involved and you see what I'm doing and you understand what's going on. You don't know any more than anyone else that's watching on TV. You don't know anything you're talking about.

He did this. I went off on him. I called him, bitched at him, told him, dude, cut the shit. shit everything was fine for a little bit does it again next time i lose a fight so now i'm like dude motherfucker like don't ever call me don't ever say you're my friend fucking let it go i was like i i think the first one was the when i fought sam stowe which i was coming off acl surgery and i didn't have i didn't have the best fight i almost submitted him in the beginning of the round and then I ended up losing it was basically a kickboxing match but I couldn't shoot my knee was all messed up

so that was the first time. The second time was after the Michael Johnson fight and I got, honestly, I got cracked. Just the way Diego got cracked with the right hand, I got cracked with the left hand right off the bat and I couldn't recover I lost decision but but all fight he could scorched earth as far as i'm

concerned like fuck him i don't talk to him i knew this story yeah you were very upset very upset well then that is the end i guess maybe that's what you're getting at but that is something that a friend said to you that changed the way you felt about so much so that he no longer was a friend yeah Yeah, absolutely. I'm not pissed at him still anymore, but I've got enough fucking friends. I don't need... It's not like he's nearby. It's not like I'd hang out with him anyways.

He's more trouble than he's worth. Yeah, it's just not worth it. It's going to create some big awkward situation this year. So Chris rents a house up in Maine for the week. I guess Jay's going to be up there. I think we're maybe not invited anymore. I don't know. Really?

Yeah, I don't know. There's been comments made about how I should let it go and I should drop it. I'm not mad at him, but I'm definitely not ready to be buddy-buddy with Jay. See, the thing is you didn't do the thing. That's the situation that I struggle with sometimes. See, the thing is, you didn't do the thing. That's the situation that I struggle with sometimes.

Jay talks shit about you, you let it go. Jay talks shit about you again. You get to decide to let it go or not. It's like, oh yeah, Jay killed your dog. Joe, it's about time you got over that. Why don't you let that go? It was my dog.

You can be over it all you want. I will forgive or forget yeah that there's some things that you that you just don't forgive you know it's not you kill my dog i'll never forgive you like and it's not that it's not that i hate him but i just i just don't want to be friends with him like i just like i block him he freaking he has a different phone number he tries to you know are you over yet can we go back to being friends like get the fuck out of here sometimes a guy makes so many withdrawals from the emotional bank account that you fucking close his account yeah yeah 100 and he just he tries to just act like you know like we're still best friends and you know like dude don't fucking talk to me don't fucking mention

my name fucking stop acting like we're freaking boys and we're best friends because i haven't seen you in 10 years and where does he live is he i mean specifically but like does he live near a point where you could ever like no that's the thing he lives in so i'm in i'm in mass he was in virginia for a little while which is hours and hours away and now he's in minnesota hours and hours and hours and hours away yeah that's uh i changed the opinion of some or i got my opinion changes of someone a couple times one was when I found out the guy I knew was the poop bandit at my high school and was shitting and drawing in shit on the bathroom walls yep um that really changes your opinion of someone when you're like wow you are really committed to scat humor to do it into your own hand and then you know I should have brought this

up when we were talking about calligraphy just a beautiful penmanship I imagine him with one of those paint trays that you like holding in the crook of his arm and he's just like got different kinds of shit like different diet for different uses like got a little pea green here what is this tuesday saying to me you know it feels like a yellow day you know no but that that changed my opinion of him um not necessarily for the better or worse because i thought it was hilarious but but i also it was more of in an unsettling way like all right i'm going to make sure i am on your good side all the time, I'm not getting on the guy who shits into a napkin in his hand and writes on public property for no reason.

The other one was a kid on my hockey team when I was, I must have been 16, and he was telling me, like, I know Woody's played hockey, but not as a kid. Hockey kids, they get a bad rap for being very badly behaved, getting involved in a lot of bad shit. And, you know, mostly I thought it was kind of a myth, even at 16. I'm like, oh, you know, all these guys, like even the worst they're doing, I guess it's smoking pot for the most part.

But one of the guys on my team, one of the forwards, was talking to me and brought it up really casually before practice. Like, man, have you ever smoked weed? I was like, no, no. He's like's like yeah i used to be really into that my buddy turned me on to this thing heroin though and i've been loving it like i love heroin and i was like that's like a pretty bad one right and he was like i mean some people say that but honestly until you've tried it like you can't knock it they have no idea it's just like the government the government telling you. It's just like the whole thing is reefer madness. The government just doesn't want you to have fun.

And I was like, all right, I guess I'm going to go ahead and leave that to you. Fast forward four years later, three years later, I'm 19, haven't seen this kid since the end of that fucking season. I never took him up on the heroin offer for everyone out there. And find out through a mutual former teammate that he ended up in jail. Like not jail.

Prison. In prison for selling heroin in moderate to large quantities. So he was right. The government doesn't want you to have fun. That's what I took out of it. No, but that was at 16

to even know what heroin is. But to try that, maybe it's because you're more ignorant when you're that young. But at least in my head, there's always been, you can be adventurous a little bit. As long as you're safe, maybe try a drug or two. It's illegal, so

be prepared for consequences if you take that route in life. But there are some that are just on the hard no list. Like meth. No! Not even once. Crack cocaine. Not even once.

I told that story two or three times hanging out with those guys that I knew just a little bit. They're like friends of friends. They're really friends of a friend of an ex-girlfriend. So it's like, I don't know these motherfuckers. And I'm just hanging out with them in their backyard smoking a cigarette one night and they're like, somebody brought up meth. And I was like,

crystal meth, not even once. Am I right? Because that's the whole ad campaign. Not even once. And then it shows a little boy being taken advantage of by a pedophile or like a woman's face degraded over you know 10 years or something like that and both of the guys went well i've done it a few times and i'm just like a few times you mean you did it and then did it again well yeah for for years and i'm just like

all right i gotta go i gotta i gotta i gotta i gotta fucking go. I gotta go. I got electronics on me. You're gonna steal it and sell it to someone for more meth. Like, that's just... There's a huge meth problem in Missouri, and it fucking shows if you drive through this state on Highway 70. Like, you know, between St. Louis, Columbia, and then Columbia and Kansas City, it's just piles of very clearly meth shacks.

Tons of them. Did you see that link that I put in the chat there? No. You put it in a different chat. I can't change. I put it in the recording chat. That's not the one we're in.

Oh, it's a new chat tonight. We have to make a new one, remember? I see how it is. Yeah, put that in there. She just sent this to me earlier, and I thought he made it. But no. It's coming. Sorry for the delay.

So for those of you listening, it's a picture of... I'll wait until you guys click on it and see it. But it's a picture of Woody in the Pokemon Go size thing, and it's him and his paramotor about to be captured. He's level, I guess, CP 69, so Woody, step up your training because you're a weak shit. He doesn't even appreciate that.

I'm going to sell you for candies. You're not a keeper yet. That's the thing about Pokemon Go that's a little weird is like, the way you get more candies is you ship all of your unwanted Pokemon off to this really, frankly eccentric professor

who is just having his way with at this point hundreds of millions of animals. Yeah. Grinding them up, making them into candy, and then giving it back to you. Yes, he's grinding them up, forming their supple little Pokebodies into candies, and then he gives it back to you. He's grinding them up, forming their supple little Pokebodies into candies, and then he gives it back to you.

And then he sells the meat to Tyson and makes a killing. And the worst part is, because it's cannibalism, you take the candies that he makes from the ground-up Pokemon and feed them to identical Pokemon. You see, a Charizard won't eat the candy from a Bulbasaur. He wants ground-up Charizard. That's what it takes to make him happy. But you know what it takes to make me happy? It's Blue Apron.

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Blue Apron, a better way to cook. I got some steaks from Blue Apron this week, and I'm cooking them up tonight. They're going to be real tasty. What's the name of the meal? Like a little quick rundown. I can't think of it. With rosemary potatoes. I think that's what I've got.

Yeah, I think that's what I've got. The packages, you know, you get this cardboard box with some, like, those frozen ice pack things in there to keep everything cool and fresh. And Kitty usually gets them before I'm awake and like puts them in the fridge and puts the recipe

cards on the fridge. But I saw the steaks in there and they look real nice. And I got the thing for a family of four, so I got two steaks. Really three, because Kitty's not going to eat the whole steak, so I'm going to eat those steaks tonight. It's going to be tasty. So check out Blue Apron. They really do have really, really high quality

ingredients and meats and vegetables and stuff. And I don't know if you haven't been to a lot of nice restaurants or maybe you're at home, someone's not cooking with ingredients like that, you'll be pleasantly surprised at what it tastes like to get a real gourmet meal. It was cool for us. It added more items to the menu. I don't forget it's once or twice, I think it's twice a week, I get a meal that I otherwise wouldn't have had. It comes with a recipe card so you can repeat

it if you want to. You get into a bit of a rut and adds new stuff. After the trial we've got, we've all got like, I don't know, 30 new recipes on placards that we can look through with detailed pictures. 30 new recipes and maybe 300 ice packs can look through with detailed pictures. 30 new recipes and maybe

300 ice packs. I've got a lot. Are you supposed to throw those away? You can, but the first couple weeks, they're nice reusable ice packs that you can put in a cooler, so they're not shitty. It's like the same thing you'd put the blue-filled shit you use if you're injured or whatever.

So I saved the first couple weeks of those because I'm like, I'm going to go on a fucking float and i'm gonna put these like in there next to the beer i'll be able to fit way more shit in there it's gonna be great and then after a couple weeks it's like my god like i've got i've got so many frozen ice packs dude we have so many we have a guest house right and it has its own like refrigerator freezer thing and the ice packs are just accumulating in the freezer like they're going and going and going. And then I check on it. We needed construction paper or something

and we keep it in there because it's a schoolhouse. And the refrigerator's open. The ice packs had grown and pushed the door of the freezer open to where it didn't shut anymore. Now we have to rearrange it and deal with it. I think we may have cleaned out some of the ice packs.

They just don't have the same value to us that they used. Dude, they're big ice packs! The ice packs in my guest house, which we use as the school house, in the house that I use to keep my construction paper. That's the first real problem.

You call it the arts and crafts cabin? Yeah. The Chiz Lair. Chiz's Lair. I wonder how many Pokemon he would have caught there. I don't know. So many cave Pokemon. Pokemon that like the darkness. Maybe the bat- Zoo Bats. He'd been infested with Zoo Bats and Rattats. And Rattatas. is a fucking gym. Now that you've got the labeling of it, you should submit. Actually, no, you shouldn't.

You should not do that, because then children will be wandering around your home. I don't know. That could be fun. Chase them with the drone. Yeah, that could be fun. A drone thing would be super cool. At this point.

I want to somehow put my phone on my drone and be able to pilot around but catch Pokemon remotely as well. I want to be sitting here flying the phone around town and just fucking scooping them up from here. I've seen that done on the internet. I didn't look closely at how they did it, but people are using drones to catch

Pokemon. Is the plural of Pokemon Pokemon? Pokemon? Pokemon? Pokemon. I think it's just Pokemon again. Yeah, it's Pokemon. Is the plural of Pokemon Pokemon? Pokemon? Pokemon? I think it's just Pokemon again. Yeah, it's Pokemon. My dad, it used to drive me fucking crazy when I was, I don't know, nine

that my dad would call it Pokeman or Pokemen and I only realized when I was like, maybe like when Pokemon Go came out that I'm like, oh, dad, you dick. You were an adult. You knew what it was called. You were fucking me.

You were just trying to get a rise out of me because you were like, hey, Taylor's really enjoying this. Watch this. How's the Pokemon? Are you having fun? What do they say? You know, seizing all of them? Assimilate the crowd? I don't respond well to that kind of parental cruelty.

My mom used to do stuff like that with things that I cared about, and now I just don't fucking talk to her. My father used to do it, too. It was a little different, but it was the pronunciation of Washington. And then he'd say Washington. And for some reason that was just like, I don't know. It was like fingernails on a chalkboard to me.

And I'd be like, dad, it's Washington, Washington, not Warsh, Washington. So then he started drawing out the Washington, like I was doing in the lesson. And right.

It's ridiculous. But you're just as bad you literally just mispronounced draw oh I'm sure I'm just as bad but but I didn't do it intentionally maybe he didn't either no well probably the original Washington Washington was accidental but he certainly just started fucking me with the... I don't know. Put a couple extra R's in there, stretch out the A's, whatever he did. That doesn't bother me too much. Like, Washington, or put it in the wash, or the roof,

or calling it the commode. My grandparents talk like that. I mispronounce draw. Do I always mispronounce draw? Yeah, you add an L to the end. Draw? Hmm. Draw. E-R-A-W-L. Yeah, you know, I always thought my pronunciation was pretty normal. Like I had standard, like what you would find from me is what you'd find in Colorado, what you'd find in like upstate New York, like sort of the neutral American proper accent.

And then like in the last year, every word I do different, like calculator and nuclear. I think I got that one right. Robot. Robot. Yeah. I mess up robot. Yeah. It's like, I didn't realize it was probably only like 10 words I say differently.

And we only notice it because like we listen to you talk four hours, five hours a week, It's like I didn't realize. It's probably only like 10 words I say differently. And we only notice it because we listen to you talk four hours, five hours a week in a private conference. So it's just like every time I hear it, they stick in my ear like they're glued. As the words are coming in here and out over here, as my mom used to say, drawl immediately gets like. I'm just like, drawl. I catch him every time. Other than that, though, you do have, well, I think, a very neutral accent. Other than that,

you can tell Kyle, not thick at all, you can tell that you're from the South. I know that you worked your way through the accent. You can tell, but it's by no means like an I'm a, like that kind of sound. And Joe is very clearly Boston. I feel like I have an incredibly neutral accent.

I feel like everybody can... Do I mispronounce stuff pretty bad? Being from the Midwest, everybody kind of gets it. You don't seem to say draw robot or nuclear properly, as far as I can tell. You're always saying calculator? I'm a user in that word, idiot. Yeah, I think accents like that are really interesting.

There are tests you can take online that, and it's not like a horse shit, like, my IQ is 190. It's like, it'll ask you you like, what do you call this? And it'll show a picture of a lightning bug. Or a firefly, if you're not from somewhere that calls it lightning bugs. And you'll select it. It's like a series of ten questions and it will pick exactly where the fuck you grew up. Exactly.

Like I thought it was horseshit. Never heard of a lightning bug before. I've never heard of a lightning bug. Oh yeah, they called it that where I was from. Everybody here calls it a lightning bug. But that was one that pinned me. It actually said St. Louis, not even just Midwest. I'll try and find it.

But it was my friends, because I was with a bunch of people from different places. It was saying, like, Boise, Seattle, like Portland. How many questions was it? Seattle and Portland, they kind of blended together, I guess. It was like 10 or 20 questions, maybe. That's cool. There's so many words that are like that. Soda. Crawdad or crayfish was a big one.

Yeah, I don't know what to call it. Because there's some words where I know that where I am, there's this very specific, silly thing. I'll just usually say both with crawfish and crawdads because who even fucking cares about those disgusting things you know like I never want to see one again mmm I was not a fan I think they're tasty I had a nibble and I didn't taste that nibble because they were shit on the rest of it. Oh, God. I got the non-shitty part. Crawl dents are disgusting on the inside.

And apparently preparing them has a lot of water involved. You're supposed to cook them, rinse them. Yeah, and you pretty much need running water. Well, we didn't have that. They eat their own shit. Well, that explains our lives.

I kiss them. Yeah, it explains our lives. We put in dogs and we pet them. I kiss them. Yeah, it's awful. Dogs got personality. That has to be one charming crayfish. What's that from? Pulp Fiction. Pulp Fiction? That Arnold from Green Acres.

God, I love that movie. Yeah, those... I don't think those would have ever taken off unless poor people like they didn't have anything else to eat and so they were like ah our shrimp our version of shrimp lobster nast lobster i guess if they're if you don't have to see them being prepared or do it yourself and they're like in a gumbo or something it tastes pretty much like shrimp but it's grosser to crack those things open than it is to clean an actual

mammal. It's less gross to skin a rabbit or something. It smelled bad. I take that back. It didn't smell bad. It smelled like food. It smelled like seafood, but it just looked gross. And I couldn't remember

the video I'd watched about how to prepare them, but there's a lot of rinsing over and over, and what you're doing is getting them to shit out all of the shit so that when you eat them, they're not full of shit. Let's take this quiz. All right, I'm on it. All right. 25 questions.

The first question is that, so I guess I'll read it if you guys are all there. Do you guys have how would you address a group of two or more people? Yeah. Okay, so how do you address a group of two or more people? Yeah. Okay, so how do you address a group of two or more people? You got you all, yous, you lot, you guys, youns, yins, if you're from Pittsburgh, you, other, and y'all. You guys for me. You guys.

Yeah, I'd say you guys. Ooh, this one's tough what do you call the thing from which you might drink water in school oh we have different questions yeah we get different questions nice all right what do you call the thing that you drink water from at school yes like a water fountain or the options the options are bubbler water bubbler drinking fountain water fountain? The options are bubbler, water bubbler, drinking fountain, water fountain, or other. I called it a drinking fountain growing up. I would call it a bubbler.

Never heard that one. Really? I've heard of it, but I didn't know that. What do you call something that is across both streets from you at an intersection or diagonally across you from in general? Caddy corner. That is one of the

options the other options are kitty corner uh kitta corner cater corner catty corner kitty cross kitty wampus um i would use diagonal for this and that's my choice i would go kitty corner do you call the sweet spread that is put on a cake frosting or icing frosting icing I don't know what I would call it you're answering all these as you would right Kyle

yes I'm doing mine the way I would how about this one? What is the distinction between dinner and supper? This is something I notice actually in people from different places. Option supper is an evening meal. Dinner is eaten earlier. Supper is an evening meal.

Dinner is the main meal. Dinner takes place in a more formal setting than supper. There is no distinction. They both have the same meaning. Or I don't use the word supper or I don't use the word dinner. I don't use the word supper, but it was used a lot growing up, and they're interchangeable for me, dinner and supper. There's

breakfast, lunch, and dinner or supper. Supper is a later meal. My Jewish friends would say supper, and I just knew it meant dinner. That was Jersey. What's on yours My Jewish friends would say supper, and I just knew it meant dinner. That was Jersey. Yep. What's on yours now, Kyle? What do you got?

What do you call a traffic jam caused by drivers slowing down to look at an accident or other diversion on the side of the road? Do you call it rubberneck, rubbernecking? Rubbernecking is the activity slowing down and gawking that caused the traffic jam, but I have no words for the traffic jam itself. Gaper's block. Gaper's Block is a porn I watched last night. That's something completely different. Gapers Delay. Looky Lou. Curiosity Delay. Gawk Block. Or I have no word for this. I would call it rubbernecking. What do you call a drive-thru liquor store? A brew-thru? A party

barn? A bootleg? Or a beer barn, a beverage barn. And then there are some bullshit options like other and such. We call them liquor barns. Probably a beer barn. Yeah, I'm going to go with beer barn because that's... A lot of states don't have those. No, they don't. But in Kentucky, they definitely do.

How do you pronounce the first syllable of lawyer? Lawyer. Clearly. And the options are, does it rhyme with boy? Does it rhyme with flaw? Or I use both pronunciations interchangeably. In my case, how do you pronounce the first syllable of lawyer? It clearly rhymes with flaw.

Mine would be boy. I would use flaw too lawyer lawyer lawyer i guess i say lawyer how do you pronounce caramel caramel everybody should say just car you and i have talked about this before and I say caramel. I know you do. You know, I think I say caramel corn, though. Why? I guess I use both. I'm getting all the same questions. I'm just getting them in a different order.

Because I'm getting the crawfish and bubbler one now. What do you call the area of grass in the middle of some streets? Do you call that a boulevard, a midway, a traffic island, an island, neutral ground, or I have no word for this. Island. At the bottom, median or other is available and I call it a median. I think it's a median too. But it makes sense. I'd say island or median.

Yeah, a median is just one on a highway. What would you call a sale of unwanted items on your porch or in your yard? Would you call that a tag sale, a yard sale, a garage sale, a rummage sale, a thrift sale, a stoop sale, a carport sale, a sidewalk sale, a jumble slash jumble sale, a car boot, a car boot sale, a patio sale, or other? I would call that a yard sale. Garage sale. Garage sale, too.

Yep. What do you call a traffic situation in which several roads meet in a circle? Do you call that a rotary, a roundabout, a circle, a traffic circle, a traffic circus, or you have no word for this. I call that a roundabout. Rotary. Circle.

What do you call the long sandwich that contains cold cuts, lettuce, and so on? Do you call that a sub, a grinder, a hoagie, a hero, a poor boy, a bomber, an Italian sandwich, a baguette, a sarnie, or maybe you have no words? Sub. Sub. What do you call the small gray bug that curls up into a ball when it's touched? Do you call it a pill bug, a doodle bug, a potato bug, a roly-poly, a sow bug, a basketball bug, a twiddle bug, a roll-up bug, a woodlouse, a millipede, centipede? Or maybe you don't know what that is and have no words for it.

I call it roly-poly. I call it a roly-poly. Centipede. How do you pronounce the words merry, as in there's something about mary mary as in merry christmas and mary as in i would like to marry you um so let's see how did i just say that i'm trying to think about what i just did they're all the same to me what I just did. They're all the same to me.

That's Mary. I would like to marry you. Mary. Mary, I pronounce like Mary with an A. Mary. Shuba Merry Christmas. So the Mary the word, or excuse me, the name Mary

and Merry Christmas sound the same, but if I want to marry you, it sounds different. Yeah, you're getting married. I guess I'd say I'm all the same. You're getting married. My name is Mary. I finished my quiz. I just ran ahead.

It doesn't work. Oh, no, it finally happened. And you didn't do it right. No, it nailed it. It has me slow. It's slow, but I got to... It pretty much says Philadelphia, which is where my accent is.

I got Boston. I'm almost done. How do you pronounce Ben with the vowel in sit? With the vowel in see? With the vowel in set? How do you pronounce Ben? Ben. Like an I. Yeah, I. Ben. Like an eye.

Yeah, I do it with like an eye. Let me go ahead and get through this so I get my results. Yeah, rip through it. For people watching my screen, I'm actually from this spot right here. Which is, it pretty much nailed it. It's the darkest spot on the map. The southern jersey. Where people pronouncecing correctly?

According to people from Southern Jersey. I have no word for the area of grass between the sidewalk and the road. Me too. Do you pronounce cot the same as caught? No. They're different. What do you call a sweetened carbonated beverage?

Soda. I call it a drink. Soda. I thought you'd say Coke. I did as a kid, but now I probably would say soda. So let's just say Coke because anything else is just misleading because I've kind of altered my... Right. What do you call the freshwater lobsterman? I have no word for the night before Halloween.

So this is Joe's. It nailed it. I think caught and caught. Oh, caught and caught. Yeah, they're a little different. I think I said that. You sleep on a cot. If you sleep on a cot with someone else, you're going to get caught.

Did I say that the same or different? Sounds the same to me. Okay, well then I'll go say it. What do you call the small road parallel to the highway? Frontage road, service road, access road, feeder road. I didn't have a name for them. Sorry, an error has occurred. Keep this link to save your answers and view the map later.

Click on the link. Refresh. Do it again. Not refresh. Click the link, right? The link seems to be his result set. Oh, whoa, whoa. Nope, still an error. That stinks. Well, what a letdown.

Well, fuck. I know you're from Georgia, so I think you did a great job. I think so, too. Hey, the fact that I'm from Georgia and I completed that quiz is pretty impressive, right? Read most of the words. I feel great about this in the end. It got done. That's all that quiz. It's pretty impressive, right? I read most of the words. I feel great about this in the end. It got done. That's all that matters. Let me squeeze in this last ad here and get it done, because it's a brand new kind of ad.

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going to sign up for this as soon as I get done with the show and watch some Monty Python and some old SNL from back in the day with Dan Aykroyd and Belushi. From the creator of Rick and Morty? Of course. Yeah, that too. I was just

re-watching season 2 of Rick and Morty last night in preparation attention. Yeah, that too. I was just re-watching season two of Rick and Morty last night in preparation for the release of the third season, hopefully this month. I think it did turn... So I read that it wasn't July 26th, because it was July 26th the previous year, and people are just making that

mistake. And then I read more recently, like yesterday, that it might actually be july 26th again i have always stood by that it's july 26th i think i was wrong i'm sorry who the fuck knows you know it's the internet and you got the creative show being all like wishy-washy on twitter and then people are interpreting it so it's it's not as if like there was this big banner someone somewhere that said it's coming on the 26th and you just didn't see it. It's like they're being sort of misleading with the way they're promoting this thing in an

effort to boost the promotion around and get people talking about it. And that's a good thing. Rick and Morty is incredibly good so hearing that Dan Harmon is part of this show here makes me interested in it. I'm going to sign up for this immediately when I get off the show and I really mean that because of that show of course. But like I said, big

Monty Python fan, big SNL fan so great stuff yeah check them out do you watch uh rick and morty joe i do not i see it on reddit all the time but it's real smart oh you haven't seen it it's well written nope oh yeah it's um i'm ignorant about the whole thing but i thought it was an older show that people were just like it was like a cult show. I'm guessing it's not. Basically, it's sort of a Back to the Future spoof. That's how this guy kind of created the characters originally. So you got the Doc and this Marty McFly character.

But the Marty McFly character is the Doc's grandson, and he's just a boy. But the super intelligent genius doctor travels through space, time, and multiple dimensions going on all these wacky adventures. And he takes the boy along with him because he's such a hyper genius and the boy is a complete moron. So when they're by each other, it masks his hyper brainwaves and prevents the galactic empire from tracking him down. So he takes him all the way across the universe, time, space, everywhere. The boy, he's like like I can't do the impression Put on these gravity boots Morty will like fall off a cliff and his legs are broken compound fractures in three different ways So this leg is now like a Z and he's laying there screaming in pain

Sorry Morty and like he's like he's laying there screaming in pain. He's like, you're the worst guy ever, Rick. I can't believe you did this to me. I'm sorry, Morty. And he leaves him. Is it a cartoon? It's a cartoon, but it's a smart cartoon. It's pretty clever. He's an alcoholic, drunk grandpa genius traveling the universe with his kid. That's how the episode starts.

The first episode starts where the little kid is in his bedroom, and it's just dark, and then Rick just bursts in. You know, just, oh, Morty, you got to wake up, Morty. Morty, right now, you got to wake up. Oh, Rick, what's all this about? And he just drags him out of the house, wasted, and then just flying around and talking about how he's going to blow up the world. Like, it gets zero to 60 real quick. I thought I was going to think it was really goofy and kind of silly

because a lot of the times I've seen it on Reddit before I ever watched it. When Reddit really likes a show, I tried watching Community a few years ago because they were all like, oh my God, this show is so fucking funny. It was not. I didn't like it. So I just kind of ignored when Reddit would really get Firefly or whatever the hell that was. That was really good. Now you're wrong. But Rick and Morty is hilarious.

Firefly was amazing. Is it a Netflix show or is it a You can get it on Hulu. I think it's a Pirate Bay show. If you have Hulu you can get it there. Both seasons. You have Hulu or Amazon? I can probably on demand it. It's on Amazon. That's how I bought season 2. it It's on Amazon

That's how I bought season 2 I have Amazon Prime So I'll check it out What I'm trying to say is on the surface Rick and Morty is just a silly show Where they go through these adventures But if you watch it more carefully There's a level of planning and detail in there

That's almost like Game of Thrones-ish There are these like rick and morty analysis shows that explain like like predict season three based on small details that most people would miss in season one and two and uh and you're just like holy smokes like i didn't realize all these little moving parts and hints were dropped throughout the show it's pretty cool and for an animated show, the characters do human stuff that doesn't even need to be animated necessarily. Like last night I was watching

an episode where the father character, whatever, the guy with no fucking job, Gary or whatever his name is. Yeah, Gary. Gary's like getting dressed for a wedding and he's had to do it in a hurry because everybody else got an invitation, but Gary got sucked into a space meatball and teleported there, so he comes out all slimy and just gets thrown a change of clothes.

And he's got his tux on, but he's, like, thrown it on, and he reaches into his pants and, like, gets his dick, like, where he wants it. And there's no mention of that, and it's not even, like, nobody's talking while he's doing it, and they, like, focus on it. It's not that either. He's carrying on a conversation, and they're talking while he arranges his cock and balls and he's put on a tuxedo and they're not where they need to be. It's like little things like that that I notice. Real smart, real well animated. I take that back. It's not real well animated. Yeah, that's not the draw.

Sorry about that. And you got one guy doing the voices of both the main characters just going right back and forth like rapid fire. It's a good show. It's real smart. Animation even better than South Park. That's not my favorite. My favorite episodes of that show aren't the ones that like with the planning you're talking about. I like the like interdimensional

cable specials they have where it's like so much of the episode is them just ad-libbing and making shit up as they go and then they like go back and animate to it so basically like the crux of the episode is rick comes in he's like you know i uh got us a you know interdimensional interdimensional uh cable box and we can watch shit from all over the world all over the universe and everybody's like loving. And it's just them riffing on what interdimensional cable would be.

And it's so fucking clever and funny and good. Great show. Yeah, like the FluBat or whatever that device is that they have the how it's made. The Flumbus. The Flumbus. Everyone has a Flumbus, but do we know how they're actually made? At the end,

I always wondered how they made those. It's definitely worth a watch. There's two seasons, and it's like candy. It'll be over before you know it, and you'll be like, oh, I wonder where that season three is. And for us who have been watching it for a little bit, season three got delayed by like a year or something.

So it's been over a year since season two or something like that, and we're right on the brink of season three, which is pretty exciting. Good show. Great show. So half-hour episodes? Yeah. And you pop them like they're Smarties or something.

30 minutes with commercials or 30 minutes without commercials? I think they're really 22 minutes. Okay. That's fast. So you tear through it so quickly. What happened with me is I went through season two, and I knew that season two had an ending that a lot of people were, I guess they loved, but it tore their heart out.

And then it was 18 months or something to season three. I ripped through the first two seasons in like a day or two. Just watched them all. Me too. I did not save them well yeah last episode it really is touching you're playing that nine inch nail song i hurt myself today and a lot of heavy stuff is going on so you might do the same like like you just can't do it tomorrow yeah they're silly little cartoons and then like it's like oh now what i thought would be 18 months away from my

next episode and i didn't properly cherish them as i was watching them i think my favorite that i can think of seen in the whole show is like rick and morty are trying to escape an interdimensional intergalactic airport um and they were trying to smuggle some some some uh mega seeds inside of the boy's ass they were all the way up there and uh but they tried to put him in the new machine that finds stuff all the way up your ass so he's like run for it you know they can't go through the machine because it's going to find the mega seeds up his ass so while the grandpa genius is trying to like hack into the computer and open a portal back to earth uh he's he like throws a gun to the boy he's like hold him off

he's like oh i don't know rick i don't know about killing people he's like, hold him off! He's like, I don't know, Rick, I don't know about killing people! They're robots, Morty, it doesn't even matter! And he's like, alright, and the bad guys are coming, the bad guys are like insectoid people who also have blasters, and he's just like, pew pew pew! And one of the insectoid's leg explodes and this black blood starts pouring everywhere and he's laying on his ground, it hurts so much! All my life! blood starts pouring everywhere and he's laying on his ground oh it hurts so much his friends like jerry's bleeding out somebody help jerry he's gonna die and he's like what the fuck rick he's like uh i meant they were bureaucrats i don't respect them he's like

trust me morty you don't even know what prison is like here keep them off of us and he just turns and he's just murdering all these insects people thought they were like literally robots he's like ah I just mean they're bureaucrats I don't respect them see that's clever yeah very clever very clever writing throughout the show there's many jokes that I'll be like aha but I don't even have time to stop and analyze it because there's another one coming. The jokes are all over the place. It's not like it's all this highbrow humor that you're just pausing and analyzing.

There's a lot of shit jokes and fart jokes. The character's name will be Poopy Butthole or something like that. Literally. Mr. Poopy Butthole is a character's name. I won't spoil that. Great show. That's a thing but it's a great show. Great.

That's a thing. Plays a big role. I'll check it out for sure. So I'll probably watch two episodes tomorrow. So, um, we were recording the show when the Dallas shooting happened, uh, last time.

And, uh, and since then I, I learned more about how they took out the shooter. And it's pretty nuts. They, uh, they,

they sent one of those negotiation robots. Imagine this robot with rubber tank treads that has a speaker on it and a receiver so you can carry on a conversation remotely. It also has a high-powered water jet. This high-powered water jet that can use water to cut through explosive devices, steal anything, and a shotgun on it. And they can operate this remotely. anything and a shotgun on it and they can operate this remotely but they thought that the super high powered water the 12 gauge weren't gonna cut it in this case so the mayor and the police chief have a little conversation and within 30 minutes they decide let's send in one pound of c4 plastic explosive and give them a little gift and so that's what the fuck they did they went in there

with a pound of c4 on the long end of this robot arm and i am the guy had asked for a cell phone he thinks that's that there's a fucking like iphone coming on the end of this thing and he's like oh yeah come on little why why why why why why why why has it rolls up and then they just blow him the fuck up i got a picture of my phone of his blown up body it's pretty gnarly um i guess one of the SWAT team was a little over zealous with posting pictures online they just like up um they blew him up although i gotta say that really opens up a um a weird uh precedent for the how the how police can handle certain situations now this was a situation where i was like yeah blowing the fuck up yeah you need any advice like i could i probably got some c4 you could use you know this is like i was fine with it here but i don't know what if

there's some guy who's just you know maybe he hasn't hurt anybody yet and they the first move is to blow him up i would hope that this isn't setting a precedent like that but i'm glad they blew that fucker up i don't think that from now on they're gonna just jump to blowing people up unless it's also a shooter with a high-powered rifle that, you know, shot 11 police officers. What if I were to say, you know, police are known for their measured and fair responses. They don't tend to ever make errors in judgment.

Good point. Good point. It's not just Joe Blue Shirt making this decision, though. And it's certainly not a high-stress, short-term decision. They get to process it i see where you're coming from but just you know look these are police sometimes they make mistakes it was so funny kitty walks like like when i first learned that i was uh we were playing a video game and i was telling taylor and chiz i was like would it be distasteful for me to make a video where i show this off because at first when they said they were bringing him a cell phone and then they blew him up,

I imagined a cell phone with explosives in it. And he puts it to his head and they blow his head. Also a good idea. That has been done before against terrorists and people of the same ilk. Explosives blowing cell phones. And in real life.

And I was thinking, all I gotta do is go on eBay and buy the outside shell to one of those old Nokia phones and put plastic explosive in a detonator and just beep, beep, beep, and it'll explode, you know? And I could even set it so that it'll explode when you try to make a, when you press the on button or something like that. That's all easy shit to do. You could get a couple phones,

and the joke would be the Nokia one doesn't explode, right? Because of the super durable one. Yeah. Like, there's a fucking smoke coming out from between the buttons. You see the huge explosion? one doesn't explode, right? Because of the super durable one. Yeah, it just doesn't. It's a fucking tease. You see the huge explosion, the building falls over, and you go out there and you pick up the Nokia and you're like, well, shit. Fucking works.

That would be a funny gag. I may do that anyway, but the funny thing was that as I'm thinking about this and thinking of ways to do it, Kitty walks into my bedroom and is like, and she shows me this CNN clip. And it's my buddy that I've done explosives work before with. His name is Benetti. His last name is Benetti. And that's what he does. And he's there with a CNN reporter at his ranch out in Texas where I'm going hopefully next week. And they've got his robot with a pound of C4 on the end. And he shows her how like, you know,

you'd walk it up and he didn't want to destroy his very expensive robot. So instead he just put it on a concrete wall and clicked it and you got to see what it does. Now a pound of C4 is not like a nuclear weapon or anything, but it'll fuck your car up and it'll blow you to smithereens. And it was very impressive in that

demonstration, seeing all the shrapnel go and the cinder block exploding. How much space does a C4 take up? Like how about the size of your fist? Yeah, and it's super stable. You can get it and massage it. You can't blow it. C4 is only dangerous

if you've got a blasting cap a detonatorator i have a solution for black lives matters like i have this all worked out so here's the scoop as it stands oh this can't go wrong so as it stands black lives matters Matter has a couple of problems. One, it's really ineffective at making the change they're looking to make, right? That's not happening. It's not as if police are like, you know what? Now that you've killed a couple of us and maybe burned down a hair salon in your neighborhood, it's about time that we start behaving more.

That's not the change they're getting at all. If anything, they're just sort of creating it like a gang war between you know the black lives matter guys and then the police guys and there's been other like blm attacks or attempted attacks towards policemen you've got the russians declaring black lives matter as like an official terrorist organization like enemy of the state type thing what black lives Matter needs to do to actually get change is work through the legal system. What it should be is a legal... That's worked so well for them in the past!

No, it has. That's how change actually happens, right? You get Supreme Court voting rights instated. This is how it works. If you want to... If I were god of Black Lives Matter, king or whatever, it should be a legal defense fund. And then every time someone gets in trouble, like, the police should know that they're well-funded.

Like, this Black Lives Matter thing has all this momentum. The United Negro Defense Fund. Yeah. And then that will get the change. If cities knew that whenever there was this issue, like there was going to be a giant civil course and it was going to cost them millions, it would change the way police were trained. If there was like a legal defense fund,

because right now these people are poor. They typically get in trouble with the police and they have no legal repercussions. So if there was a fund there that they knew they could tap into when things go wrong, then cities would change the way they change. They would get actual change. It wouldn't happen overnight.

You'd want it to be basically like the ACLU, but selectively for one race, like one group. One group's ACLU. Well, I guess so, yeah. I'm not critiquing. I was just asking. Remember the H3H3 guys?

They were defending copyright or something like that, and they got way more in donations than they needed. So they created a fund so that the next guy who gets sued for copyright violations can tap into that hire an attorney maybe the video game attorney or whatever and defend themselves from what they feel are bad copyright claims like that parkour pickup artist dude i think you're giving this community a lot of credit yeah i. Someone deserves the credit in the community. I mean, there's going to be someone in there who has the leadership abilities and who's not a thief to take all this money. And who won't steal the money. Right, right?

That's what will happen every fucking time. And that's not just a black thing. I was about to say, I bet if there were a bunch of Jewish people who were being gunned down the streets or something, they'd put something together and defend themselves. And they would. But it's something about the African-an-american community i i just don't see that being there their ticket out of this i i i just don't uh... you know what they're doing is probably the best bet to be honest you

want to affect change gosh putting snipers in building shooting cops it will get you the opposite of what you want they got the change they wanted already you've got police departments around the country doing these de escalation tactics it's becoming uh. I hate to say it, but the awful things they're doing are getting some attention. You know, you get the president sitting there with George W. Bush, you know, talking about this thing. Did you see the shooting video today that was released? I believe it was a 19-year-old black man. He's in a pickup truck. Two cops come out, you know, guns drawn. Show us your hands. Show us your hands. It looks to me like suicide by cop, but you get a very, he's in a pickup truck. Two cops come out, guns drawn. Show us your hands. Show us your hands.

It looks to me like suicide by cop, but you get a very – he's got a body cam. So you get a first-person viewpoint of him shooting this guy four times, and it was a good shoot as far – let me find it because it's visceral. The other thing that I feel like Black Lives Matter could do better is like pick the right people to rally around like i remember in south carolina there was a shooting i think the cop said like hey go get your wallet and he like darts back into his truck to get his wallet and the cop just starts shooting bad that was a bad one bad that was a bad right if everyone rallied around this one and said oh my god he got shot because he's black whatever the people like but then the alton sterling right he's a pedophile of some sort he's been in and out of prison for so long and when you rally around him you don't get national sympathy you know you just like oh that shocks this guy you know it's because quite, there aren't a huge number of cops who are just going around shooting black people for no reason.

Like, it's not, that's not happening. That's not a reality. So the entire movement there is based on a false premise of, you know, we're being gunned down in the street for this. Disproportionately. We're being disproportionately gunned down in the street. And it's, like, if you actually look, like, it's very difficult to have discussions with people about it. Not that I go around having discussions with people about it, because it's not my number one on my checklist,

but I've watched people online have little debates about it and whatnot. And the BLM side, even if they're not directly involved in the movement, any kind of question, any kind of bringing up of statistics or trying to get to delve deeper into the facts of the matter is immediately labeled as bigoted and racist and it shuts down the discourse, which is very not helpful, but it is what those representatives

at the top of that group want, because they know, I don't think that they're stupid people, I think that they know the truth, just like Al Sharpton is not an idiot. He's not an idiot. He plays people and he manipulates them and he riles people up and gets people going about stuff to his own advantage. Like that's the nature of what

that guy does. Um, the numbers show that it's just not true. The statistics show that black people are not shot by police disproportionately higher than white people. What it does show is that police are more likely to get physical with a black uh person than they are a white person now you could you could off you definitely need to see if there's any correlation between the fact that african americans are more likely to commit violent crimes than than than white americans are there's probably also sorry keep going kyle no'm all done. The video's here in the thing, by the way, of this cop shooting.

It's a good video. I mean, let me rephrase that. It's worth watching. So where do you want to start at? It's six minutes long. I see at 2.36 is when he gets out of the car. Does that work for you? I'm at 3.30 and I haven't done anything yet. Oh, really?

Is this one of the like truly This is a good shoot. Cut and dry pad. Let's start at three minutes. That seems like a good round number All right, I am now on three minutes. Yep. Yep Tell me when. Three, two, one, play. Oh, I need to turn my volume up. Let me see your hands! Let me see your hands!

Both hands, both hands! Keep your hands down where we can see them! Mother your hands! Mother hands, right hand up! So they're just screaming at this guy for his hands. Yeah, and I can't see his ears in the way. Yeah, it'll get a little better as far as that goes. He's gonna get out of the truck.

He's showing them one hand, the left hand. Lay down on the ground! Lay down! Now he's out of the vehicle. Telling them them one hand, the left hand. He's... Lay down on the ground! Lay down! Now he's out of the vehicle. Telling them to lay down, but he's walking away from them. They're identifying themselves repeatedly. Let the dog go. Where's your hand?

They don't have a dog. He's sticking his right hand behind his back intentionally and walking toward the officer. He's 15, 20 feet away tops. Maybe the length of the vehicle. He keeps hiding his hand and pretending like he's got something in it. and walking toward the officer. He's 15, 20 feet away tops. Maybe the length of the vehicle. He keeps hiding his hand and pretending like he's got something in it. He just said, you're going to get shot, man. Top hit.

He's going to shoot him right now. Shot him twice. He's on the ground. Reaching for his waistband. Watch his hands. Watch his hands. He's reaching under his shirt, into his hands watch his hands under his shirt into his pants shot him again And a fourth time.

So yeah, that's what fucking happens when they tell you not to stick your hand in your pants. I think we got a dog with us. I'm gonna pause it there. He got shot four times and he died. So I'm gonna... So a couple things are important to note because it's hard to hear with that audio and everything. He literally said,

I hate my life, I think was his quote. Something like that. And the speculation and the general consensus across the internet is that it's not only a good shoot, but a suicide by cop is how most people are viewing this. And that's what it looks like to me. If nothing else, that guy was just acting incredibly

inappropriately in the most intense situation that a normal person is ever going to be in. He can't act any more stupidly than that. He's putting this hand behind his back repeatedly and sort of he's holding it like like this like there's something maybe in it it's and it's hard to see what's going on yeah he's scaring them if you go to the alt on sterling tape and i dude i stabilized that thing and looked at it frame by frame he's trying to wedge his left arm out the

cop has his knee on top of his arm and he's pulling it in you can see him like straining like trying to like bicep curl his arm out and uh this is after they said uh if you fucking move i swear to god which isn't the greatest instructions but i think we all get the intent there um and everyone is like i talked to chiz about it a lot he's like he didn't deserve to die for that he didn't deserve to die he says things like his gun was in his cargo pockets now it's true they're kind of hard to retrieve something about cargo pockets are a little like he's like it catches things you try to pull out yeah it does and he's like you know he'd never get that gun out of the cargo pilot park it and successfully shoot the police and all this stuff. And I'm thinking,

if you're being held down, told not to move, and you're still trying to break your arms free, I think it's shoot time, right? It's also an underestimation of... Yeah, I agree. That guy, maybe he was reaching for a gun, maybe he wasn't.

But I wouldn't have shot that kid a minute ago. The police could have handled that way, way better especially the uh philando guy that could have i mean i don't know the facts of that but from what it looks like he could have been handled better since the guy was still sitting there but so the philando guy i can't speak to i don't know that one the alton sterling guy i feel like while he was on the ground police guns drawn on him still like trying to break free, resisting arrest. To me, that was a good shooting. The real problem in that was three minutes beforehand or one minute beforehand.

I feel like the police, instead of cooling things off, instead of saying, hey, man, you're not doing this the right way. I get that you're upset. I get that you're concerned. Let's take a breath in here and work this out. You can't do that. You can't have a long, calm conversation with someone. You know why I say that you're concerned. Let's take a breath in here and work this out. You can't do that. You can't have a long, calm conversation with someone. You know why I say that? Because I know this German cop, and that's how they train him.

Diffusing is a really highly regarded skill in police outside of the U.S. In the U.S., your ability to get a double-leg takedown is a highly regarded skill, which is pretty much what they did on the guy. You know, they tackled him and knocked him over rather than say like, hey man, like we got to handle this the right way. Sterling was not innocent in this thing. I hate it when they're like, show me your hands,

show me your hands. Or no, they say get down and he's like, all right. And this is like a submissive pose, but it's not the one they asked for. If I say get down and you're keeping your hands a foot from your pockets, I worry you're keeping your options open. And we know you got a gun on you. That's why we were called to the scene.

Why is it that you aren't getting down? He was licensed to have the gun. He was a former felon, so he couldn't have. How's that? Oh, the second guy? Alton Sterling. Yeah, he was. I heard he was licensed, but I also heard it was open carry.

So I think that maybe he's in an open carry state. I'm just trying to make sense of it in my head. He can't open carry as a felon either. And in your pocket is an open carry. I'm a bit confused on that because I read repeatedly that he was a... You know, who fucking knows? the way i see it is but listen do you know that the police were

called there because he was pulling the gun on people i i have heard that they were told that yeah yeah yeah no i don't know that he did it but the police are there knowing knowing you know but they were called there because he's armed they're called there because he's pulling the gun on people. I was going to say threatening people with a gun. I don't know, like, I don't know why else you pull guns on people. And so they're there with the mindset that

this guy is threatening regular citizens with a gun. And when they want him to lay down and he doesn't, he's just sort of keeping his options open so he could get to his gun, maybe he doesn't. He's just sort of keeping his options open so he could get to his gun maybe. Like, you have to, you know. The problem with the discussion you have with people is because you often talk past one another. It's like you were saying you were talking to Chiz.

You were saying, you know, this is the reason that, you know, I think I did see him reach in or whatever you're saying. And then Chiz says he didn't deserve to die for that. Those are two different conversations. He is talking about what ought have happened. You are talking about the reality and trying to find what actually did happen. Because of course we all agree with Chiz

that, yeah, him squirming on the ground and being like, even if he was being really shitty to them, like, it's not a reason to die i think they were being shit was pulling a gun out like i think i think they were pinning him really painfully and he was trying to alleviate that that's what i think it was but that's also movement but who knows like it looked to me like a little jojitsu it looked like they had his arm beneath him and

you know your arm feels tough until someone puts their knee on on one side of it and the concrete's on the other. And there's that – if something hard is pressing against it, it hurts. It sucks. It hurts. Part of the problem is a lot of cops aren't trained very well. They're protected by unions and everything else. There's tons of cops that train with me. And they're so much better equipped than all the other guys I work with because they train, they do jiu-jitsu.

And a lot of cops, they don't want to do any more than they have to do. So if they're not forced to do something, they won't do it. So they don't train. They don't do anything. They're out of shape. So when they get in a situation like that, they're not good at it. They're not well-versed at controlling that situation. So they get panic, and they shoot someone instead of, you know.

Yeah, I hate when I hear them talk about, oh, we've got the best trained police in the world here, and they're just out. And I'm just like, well, look, it's fine to slow down for a minute and appreciate these guys who have died doing their jobs. I understand that it's a terrible fucking thing that happened, but they're not the best trained police in the world. They're not. They're not. The best trained police in the world. They're not.

The best trained police in the world are some fucking SWAT team in Germany or something. Can we watch this video? People trying to kill them all the time. Let me preface this. I don't think we've watched it on the show before, but we may have watched it on the show.

Ah, shucks. Give a quick rundown of it. What they do, there is a um a black lives matter activist community leader seems like a really educated well-spoken guy and he was really critical of the way that the police handled some of these like tense situations you know they're too quick to shoot so the police invited him into a use of force scenario training and And do you want to watch it? Do you want to watch a minute of it? Let's watch a minute of it, even if it's a repeat. It's queued up at 47 seconds.

This should be about the start. And you're going to see, basically, they walk him into scenarios to shoot or not. Ready, set, play. Right inside your belt loop there. Jarrett Maupin gets his weapon. You might recognize him as a high-profile organizer in the minority community. Just last month, he led marches on Phoenix Police Headquarters after an officer shot an unarmed man. We want his badge. We want his gun. We want his job. Today, he accepted an invitation to look at

things from the other side, agreeing to go through a force-on-force training session with the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office. Three scenarios where you have to decide to shoot or not shoot. My problem with this is that the Black Lives Matter guy... My problem is the Black Lives Matter guy has no training. You know, he's just... It might as well be not even any of us. He's got less training than all of us.

Well, the goal is to open his eyes. To what? To, let's say, play. That would be like if some rocket scientist messed up and the space shuttle exploded, and he drug me in there and said, hey, you do it. You fucking make the spaceship go into outer space. Oh, you failed too, huh? It's not the same.

Your simulation didn't turn out well. No, because these guys are all saying like you're not making good decisions I could do better i feel like this like it's obvious to anyone say I could do better than that's what's not ready but it's but they are making bad decisions ready set play the parking lot mopping

approaches the man and starts asking questions what we're gonna you're looking for your vehicle what kind of car do you drive whatever you're your vehicle. What kind of car do you drive? Where do you have your hand in your gun? What kind of car do you drive? It's my car, man. Oh.

Moppin', the officer, is shot. It happens that fast. At what time did you think that it was time for you to address the use of force that was given? When he came to the back of the vehicle uh uh and and was hiding i want to watch the second one too something was wrong scenario two a call of two men fighting what's going on today gentlemen what's going on with you what's going on today gentlemen what do you want what's happening here what's wrong with you huh what are you doing man hey hey he shouldn't approach me he shouldn't approach me he shouldn't

approach me he shouldn't approach me in there yeah what are you doing you just shot him hey he rushed me tell me why you shot well i've shot because he was within that zone you know i felt there was a an imminent threat i didn't necessarily see him armed we can stop here unless you want to see the third one. To the officer. Alright. I don't know. This video opened my eyes wide open. Like all

of a sudden, like yeah that first scenario where it seemed like the guy was like, hey man, why do you have your hand on it again? Settle, settle, settle. Right? It went from 0 to 100. You know. I was actually watching zero to 100 you know i was actually watching uh oh kyle i was actually watching a funny enough parks and rec just a couple days ago and it was one of the earlier seasons when louis ck is a cop and he's dating leslie nope amy poehler and it was

one of those little uh kind of mockumentary like asides with louis ck where he was talking about why he liked leslie and he was like i mean you know just like i mean unlike the 99 of people who are really aggressive and unpleasant that i deal with every day she was nice you know and and it was like oh yeah like that must really suck for 99 obviously maybe exaggerated whatever but a high percentage of the people you come across being surly, unhappy, and obviously it's because those people sometimes are just like, oh my god, dude, give me a ticket for going

64 in a 60, like, eat shit. But it does open your eyes to how they develop that us versus them mentality. You know, of like, we're all on the same team and we're working together. Back to the video, like, it went from 0 to 100 as he came behind the car. And then the other one, there are two guys fighting, right?

And then he's there all chest puffed out, approaching the cop. And as soon as the cop pulls the trigger, it switches to, why would you shoot an unarmed man? Yep. All of these issues are so much more complicated. All of these scenarios, rather, are so much more complicated or all these scenarios rather are so much more complicated than people would like to believe who just want it to be a cut and dry thing of you know people on the left mostly of like oh there's no reason to ever shoot anyone you know they didn't even have a weapon right because hindsight's 2020 and people on the right saying

things like our cops go through hell every day, and, you know, sometimes shit happens. Like, it's just neither one of those sides is helpful. A lot of it all comes down to, if a cop tells you to do something, you comply and you do it. And no one that's being shot is complying. That's the common thing. You know, it could happen. It could happen.

Occasionally it could happen. You know, something, you know, could be way out of the, you know, what's, you what's acceptable. But for the most part, every single person, almost every single person is getting shot. If you comply and you do what the cop's telling you, whether you agree with it or not, you don't get hurt. If we had watched the rest of this video, and that might not make for a good

podcast, but that was his takeaway. He's like, the value of compliance is the thing I really learned. That's the problem. In both of those scenarios, the guy, well, of course the shooter didn't comply and the other guy didn't comply. And if the guy's not complying as a policeman, you have to start wondering why, you know, like this Alton Sterling guy, he's got a gun on him and he's not complying. Is he just keeping his options open? Like that's my fright if I'm a cop. And the cop is going to protect themselves.

They're going to go home at the end of the shift as far as they're concerned. They're not going to put themselves in a situation, you know, day in and day out where maybe they don't go home. You know, like if it comes down to it, they're going to shoot. Maybe that half second of delay is the difference between, you know, subduing someone or them getting a handle on a knife or a gun and really causing some mayhem. Like, I don't know yeah whenever i see non-compliance or you know extreme non-compliance it's like man like oh god i hate that they shot but you don't like to see them get like anybody get shot right the person who gets shot you don't like to see that but you also like joe said like you have to notice like yeah it does seem to be a trend that people aren't complying in these to move a little bit uh tangentially over to the memorial service

they had dude fucking obama's speech was disgusting he gave the most reprehensible disrespectful speech at a memorial service for cops who had died. The families of those cops were there. And he went up there like an asshole and made a moral equivalency between what that shooter did in Dallas and Philando Castile and Alton Sterling getting shot. Made a moral equivalency. We live in a world where it's easier for a child to get his hands on a Glock than it is a book. It's true. Here's what he said. It's true. Y'all you know it's true It's true with his church southern draw that from fucking Chicago slash

Slash Hawaii this guy's got a southern draw like a church preacher. Would you acquire that bullshit and he's no no It's no we don't know it and because you're telling a goddamn lie it's not easy to get a fucking glock if you're a child it's hard to get a glock if you're a grown-ass man who's never broken the law in his life and has the money you gotta go somewhere fill out a lot of paperwork wait around and then they'll sell you one for 550 it's not easier to than getting a book which any fucking library will hand you just for writing your name down yeah it's it's and the speech dude it just i listened to some of it and it pissed me off that the nonsense of it this nonsense pandering of first the way you said it's easier to get a gun than a book or a computer

which you have to be a complete idiot or a liar to say that i think we know what the answer is a liar because he's not a complete idiot and the speech itself of in front of the families of those police officers to act like a clearly racially motivated act of I hate white people and I hate white cops I'm gonna shoot white cops compared to as if those police officers went out that day and said or they saw Alton and Philando and said I'm gonna kill them because they're black I I'm going to kill them because of that. It's not even vaguely similar. They don't want that paperwork. Not even a little bit similar are those scenarios. And yet Obama does the same thing he always does where he rumbles up the crowd and he gets people going and he confirms people's biases. He says,

oh, they're actually, you know, cops are great, but we also have to acknowledge that the entire system has a huge problem. Well, okay. Does the entire system have a gigantic, horrible problem, or are the cops good? Like, you can't eat your cake and have it, too, up there. It was really shitty, all the things he said. And he's such a divisive motherfucker. He went up there at a memorial service, and he divided people. He's such a divisive motherfucker. He went up there at a memorial

service and he divided people. He's talking about gun control? Why is he talking about gun control? Why did he bring up... I expected the next sentence to be like, and you know, if we all had affordable healthcare, maybe things like this wouldn't

happen, you know? Where are you going with this? Is this a Stumps feature? Are you campaigning right now? Fuck now fuck you man why don't you go up there and talk about the the sadness that we're all feeling and give us some hope you know it's pretty normal for a president to do this to me like that no i didn't hear this speech so i'm sort of out of my depth on this but i remember like george bush right he's going in he's saying hey you know what paying off the debt too quickly we should lower taxes and then he says oh the economy's going poorly now we're in deficit again we should cut taxes to fix that do you remember when he wanted to raid marine funeral and did that no he wanted to raid nine okay wait a minute so he wanted to

raid iraq before 9-11 and then after 9-11 he wanted to raid it before 9-11, and then after 9-11, he wanted to raid it again, right? No, these are different things. We're talking about at the memorial service for a bunch of cops who just got shot by someone who was racially motivated, making a false equivalency between that action there and pretending that the officers who killed Philando and Alton were racially motivated in the same way. That person is black, and I'm going to kill them because I hate black people. If you don't think he stood on the graves of the 9-11 victims to pimp his Iraq war, then you weren't watching.

There is a difference between making a point about, hey, we were attacked here on a large scale from a foreign entity. So let's get Mexico. This is a social issue, though. Yeah, this is so

different than that. Smaller scale? Completely different. Apples and hand grenades. And clearly, these are people from the United States. It's not an outside body coming in and attacking us to which we need to go respond to, or not need, but we went

and responded to it's it's not the same you've got it's not the same i don't i don't i'm saying to me it's a president leveraging a tragedy to get to advance one of his pet issues they all do that but they all usually have like if uh if that would have been a bad example what i'm saying is that doing it at the memorial service listen to the speech. It honestly sounds like he's campaigning for a third term, trying to appease all of his constituents. It's just phenomenally disrespectful to the police officers who died and the families of the officers who were lost.

It was very frustrating because it's like there's a lot of stuff that you need to talk about right now, and you're just glossing over it. And then he talks about the racial bias that still exists in police departments around the country and blah, blah, blah. And it's like, why are you even fucking talking about that? Why are you saying, you know, we love the cops. They're great. The cops are the best. I feel like he's Trump all of a sudden.

Oh, the cops are the best. They're the greatest in the world. But, well, yeah, the cops are awful too. They're real racist and's trump all of a sudden oh the cops are the best they're the greatest in the world but well yeah the cops are awful too they're real racist and stuff and sometimes i guess they deserve to get i don't know where he's going with that shit it's like he can't make his mind up if the cops are good or bad and i i just hate listening to that fucker talk i wish you would just be honest and that seemed like a moment to bring people together and have some healing and and and i just felt dirty after listening to it yeah like when you when he makes that equivalency between those two i guess three events it's a tacit admission

in a way that what was done in retaliation in dallas is understandable and and when you make that understandable you open the door to more people to think yeah you know what we are at war we are being you know you know hunted down in the streets like it's it's not helpful it is divisive it drives people apart it it escalates you see what i mean like it's yeah and if he if he had told us to go attack iraq again that would have actually made some fucking sense like if he had said that i'd have go attack Iraq again that would have actually made some fucking sense like if he had said that I'd have been okay with that that would have made a lot more sense than what he actually said

attack Iraq again I wish George Bush had gotten him I got a little something for you Obama I think we need to go back into Iraq that's where we need to go I wanted that he's got one note in his song yeah I saw that Bush had went

it would be funny if Bush got up and all he could talk about was invading Iraq again. Talking about WMDs. And his state taxes. He's like, we found them. They got them in Fallujah. He's talking about ISIS has the WMDs and they've been hiding them from us this whole time.

I knew they were there. Yeah, I don't know. I do get that he's at the memorial service. He could have been. Maybe that wasn't the time. But I also feel like this is almost standard operating procedure. It's not. Listen to it.

It's really, really shitty. Yeah, you should listen to it. It made me angry. It's bad. And he's a good's really, really shitty. Yeah, you should listen to it. It made me angry. It's bad. And he's a good speaker, too, which makes it worse. You don't want to hear somebody up there who's so smooth and heartfelt and emotional

and he's speaking very slowly and he's making these points and he repeats himself two or three times to hammer these home. You know it's true? You know it's true. And it's like, I'm in my car, I'm like, I know it's a lie! You're a liar! Liar! You fucking liar!

I'm driving with my Glock right next to me, and I'm thinking like, you were hard to get! You were not the old man in a C! Fuck this asshole! You know, it's just, I, you know, I hate it. And when something's that close to, like, you, I think it enrages me more. You know, when he talks about health care, I'm just like, I guess I don't know enough about this subject to fucking talk about it.

But when he talks about guns, and I do know a bit about it, it enrages me. And I just don't like him just playing politics at a goddamn funeral. At a funeral! It just didn't seem right. I wanted him to celebrate these guys' lives. I would have loved it if he spent the whole time telling a story about each person who died.

Like John. John has a family of three. He was going to do this, this, and that. He did this growing up. He grew up here. He played baseball. These are the people who miss him. That's a person who misses him. He's been stolen from us, taken by a hateful act, a racially motivated hate crime. That's what I wanted to hear because all those things I just said are true. I heard that when the, it might have been a speech older than the one that you're talking about. Obama was like, you know, we can never fully understand the motives of the Dallas shooters, et cetera, right? And then in South Carolina, he's like, we know exactly what their motives is.

They went and shot up that black church. And it's like, oh, that just seems a little like – It's the same shit over and over. You know, when it's someone that's screaming on his side it's ah you know it's all up in the air what an enigma like what can we can we can we listen to it through the static i'm killing these people because they're white he acts like the shooter was the fucking riddler or something and we can't figure it out this mastermind what was he really up to what was the game behind this my theory

is he was upset about the other shooting and he wanted to kill police white police he only shot white police he said I'm here to kill white police I'm gonna kill more white police yes I didn't know that he said bring more white police in here and I'm going to kill them

I'm waiting for the white police bring the white police that's what I'm here for he said it many times loudly and I'm going to kill them. I'm waiting for the white police. Bring the white police. That's what I'm here for. He said it many times loudly and clearly for all to hear. He was there to kill whites. I'm beginning to pick up on his motives. You know, we can never fully understand them, of course. You're fucking Sherlock Holmes.

The president needs to get you in the Oval Office and figure something out for him. It's enraging because it's just, stop pandering and just be honest for a minute. Like, you've already won. It's your last term. What are you doing? Trying to sell more books by being a cunt?

Like, what are you hoping the speaking fees at Black College will be better? That's Ben Carson you're thinking of. Can you fix this up? Yeah, sure. I mean, I'd make money if I could go down. Ben Carson affirming neuro, brain, literally brain surgery.

I think he's going to be fine. Like, I think financially that dude is sad. Yeah, I know. He'd make a lot of money as a brain surgeon. Yeah, I think that Ben Carson, despite the fact that he thinks we should regulate our taxes using the Old Testament and all that malarkey. It seems to be a hyper-intelligent individual. He's a real smart, well-educated guy.

Not just well-educated, but very intelligent as well, which is, it irks me that he's so religious. You know, I have a hard time getting those two to make sense. It was like when Milo was on. He's a Catholic. He's a gay conservative Catholic. And I'm just like, come on, man. You had me

all the way up until this point. I was with you. And then we get to here and you're telling me that after you get done, after you get off your knees sucking a dick, you're going to get on your knees and pray to a pedophile. Or ask a pedophile for forgiveness for cursing or something this afternoon. I don't see that

making any fucking sense at all. Yeah, Catholic priest. Tomato tomato. Oh, I thought you were talking about Jesus. And I was like, Jesus never got married or had any kids. Well, Mary Magdalene was hanging around a lot. Look, Jesus is walking around with 12 dudes

and one prostitute. Jesus was getting plenty of tail. You think? Yeah, absolutely. Mary Magdalene was the only one in the crew that had any cash. Everybody else was a fucking hobo, literally walking around barefoot in rags with no money to their names. And here comes Mary Magdalene with some cash and some pussy, and she jumped right in with the group. That's totally what happened.

Dude, if you give me one of those poppers that you give children on 4th of July where you pull the string and it goes, boom! I would have got, Jesus, at least like 50 followers back in that day. Even if you only gave me one, where I was like, everyone look! And they go, Jesus, fuck!

Did you see that guy what the hell can you do it again for everybody else no it was a one time thing you have to tell everybody else that it happened and if they don't believe based on faith they're gonna go to hell you guys you saw it you're all on team Taylor right we gotta kill everybody

give me all your fish and bread I'm the reverse Jesus the story gets bigger and bigger until as they spread it, you've like destroyed a city for being naughty or something. It was a popper. He looked down upon Sodom and Gomorrah and his vengeance was mighty. A loud

boom was heard throughout the land, and confetti poured from the sky, burning their souls whole. Angel dust fell among him from the sky, burning their souls whole. Angel dust fell among him from the skies, summoned by God himself. Like, it's crazy

imagining how unimpressive a lot of those Jesus miracles and all the miracles from the old religions must be now, where it was honestly, it must have been Jesus standing on the top of that hill talking to all the 5,000 and he has his whole crew right over the crest of that hill talking to all the 5,000 and he has his whole crew right over the crest of that hill.

They were like, holy shit! The Messiah has come! He fucking took his thumb right off and put it back! I also... That somehow becomes him curing a leper or something. I don't know.

We've really gone down a tangent here. Yes, we have. That was a show. Yeah, I think so. I wanted to hit four hours. We're two minutes short, but so be it. Awesome fucking show. Joe, thank you for coming on as always.

You did a brilliant job. Thanks for having me. I wish you luck as always in your future battles in the octagon. I love that last one, man. That was – I got to say the fight, I can't remember your opponent. I want to – maybe Jim Miller. Whoever the guy was you fought and there was blood all over the place. Jim Miller.

And you got to keep the matter. The octagon. Yep. Or whatever it is. That one was – I won't say entertaining because, God God my heart was being ripped out the whole time and at the end when you almost had that submission I was screaming so loud my neighbors could hear me break his leg

in that moment I wanted you to break his leg and the bone to just shoot out I wanted that with everything in me I would have paid anything to see it but man that fight last night or the other night very entertaining so yeah thanks for coming on. Thanks for having me.

I don't know. I have a bunch of goals. I want Joe to win. Performance of the night is really a cherry on top. And I like it when you're not hurt. Yeah, it's nice. If you're in a three round knockout, drag out.

Did you have a bruise where he kicked you? I had it behind my ear. I had an egg right here. It was pretty much the size of a golf ball. I didn't realize how bad it was. I saw photos after the fact. It was pretty bad, though.

Not as bad as him. No, definitely not. I think he got a broken face. I think he had a broken orbital. Good job. It's very cool when you win and broken orbital. Good job. Yeah. It's very cool when you win and you don't take damage. Nice.

It's a nice change of pace. I was fully prepared to go to the hospital and then get rushed back so I could see the main event and watch Brock and all that. I didn't even have to do that. Just get the hospital together. It's awesome, man. Yeah. It was good. Very cool.

All right. Well, that was Painkiller already uh episode 291 thanks joe good night everyone