Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #295

Episode Date: August 19, 2016

This week on PKA, with the longest gap between appearances, musician, Big Wax is back on the show, and the guys talk about the Olympics, Taylor shares some stories, the guys discuss prison and then bash how bad Suicide Squad was at the theater. 

PKA episode 295 with our guest Wax, Big Wax. Kyle, a few words to start? Yeah, I got a few sponsors tonight. I want to thank Squarespace, NatureBox, Tracker, Blue Apron, and Loot Crate. We'll talk more about each of those later on in the show. There are links down in the description below. But got our guest Big Wax. What do you want to talk about first tonight?

Lots going on. I want to talk about Wax's world, man. What do you got going on? Ah, man, just making music. I got a mixtape I'm about to put out in September called The Cookout Chronicles. Mostly laid-back stuff, laid-back hip-hop music. Kind of has a little summertime feel to it for the most part. And it was supposed to be a summertime album,

but since I'm lazy and irresponsible it's gonna be more of like an autumn project but uh yeah making music like usual been doing some other things i do stand-up comedy now sometimes how is that man like it's so everyone i hear talk about that talks about the bravery that it takes to do it yeah you got to be ready to fail man you got to like like i i tell people they want to start it i tell them a good first step would be to go to go to a karaoke night and sing a song that you barely barely know if you don't only know a couple words and just fail in front of a bunch of people you don't know and if you can't handle that just don't even try it if you think that's if you think that's fun and you get amused by people kind of kind of

you know thinking you suck dude that's how that's what i think of when i'm thinking like i don't know if i could actually ever try stand up like for a real thing or not is karaokeing like just the thought of getting up and singing in front of someone makes my stomach hurt because i am fucking a horrible singer's just voice cracks and off-pitch and if Newt Gingrich sang a song, then it would sound like that. Like, that level of tone-deaf.

It's just mortifying. That's awesome. You can do all that shit, though. I think everybody wishes they could sing. It's such a cool way to express yourself. You know, everybody listens to music. Everybody loves music, and to be able to recreate that, that's cool. You are your own instrument. Everybody envies that. Yeah, yeah. I mean, for me, that's what I do for a living. But if I tried to paint a

picture of one of your faces, all of your faces would look the same. You know what I mean? Everybody has their shit that they can do. I'm amazed by people that can fix their car. You know what I mean? I'm amazed by people that can design anything engineering my brain can't do. You know what I mean? I can kind of carry it too.

That's cool, man. Dude, I think it's just neat when anyone doesn't have a regular job. Like, that's the level of fame and success that I start to get impressed by. You know, like, oh, wait a minute. So, like, you don't have a regular boss? You're nailing it. Like, you're crushing it. It's in Kyle's house.

Everyone found some, like, know alternative way whether it be youtube or etsy or something like that to uh to get by without a nine to five and it's kind of neat when people pull that off i like it yeah i mean it's you know it's one of the goals then you know when you're working the nine to five and doing it on the side the nine to five that you hate is kind of like just as big of an inspiration as the love of whatever you do you know the hate of your boss and your co-workers and your shitty job and waking up whenever you got to wake up and you know you know what i mean you guys already know yeah that's a bigger driving force than anything is just being like these people suck i hate this

person that i have to report to i hate customers accounts whatever the hell like that to try and get more independent like what he was saying that's i think that's like 80 of the motivation and the other 20 is like i'm good enough at something to not have to be here right like but mostly it's just god this fucking sucks how do people deal with this i gotta find a way out i everybody here has pretty much i i don't mean to knock him because he's a good guy and i admire him and and he's he has his strengths but my last boss at cisco i shouldn't have said last boss because now i really targeted him but like it'll be hard to get a recommendation now yeah just trust me when i say this i'm a good bit smarter than he is.

And I worked for him. Is it because of your Aryan blood? No. That's what you told me on the show. No, he was an Indian guy. And maybe it could be that because English wasn't his first language. No, it wasn't. I was really just flat out smarter than he was. And yet I worked to him and worked for him.

And every week we had like what they called a one-on-one. It was just a two-person meeting. And you discuss like what you're doing, what you're looking for, et cetera. And for me, I would treat these things as almost interviews. Like I'd write down all the bullet points of the things I did the previous week that I could be proud of. And be like, I got this done. I got this done. I got this done.

I have this on my plate. This is coming up, et cetera. And just like every week sell what's so great about me. And, you know, I swear I'd like walk out the door and be like, why the fuck is an amazing person like me selling myself to that guy every week and it was um he's a good guy he really is but it was just like i don't this is disheartening for me that like here i am like trying to you know impress him week after week yeah and you know the the worst the job the more chances are that you're smarter than the boss you know if you have a job you really hate like if you're if you're you know later in life and you you you know you have to apply at cvs or something no offense to

anybody who works at cvs but you know to me that would suck and there's a good a very good chance like compared to cisco that if you work at the gas station or cvs that it's even more frustrating how much dumber than you the boss yeah because a lot of those places they'll just be like all right who's been here the longest at this philip 66 station well uh can barely read tony has been here for 13 years because he has no better prospects make tony the manager and then mr you know doing really well first year out of college comes in for his summer job, and he's reporting to a guy that doesn't fully understand basic math or speaking

cadences. They can only use the machine. So if the cash register ever breaks down, I have a fucking meltdown three deep in that line with this guy buying his lotto tickets in the numbskull behind the counter, can't figure out the basic math. And i've already done the math in my head because i'm sitting there with nothing to do anyway and i'm just sitting there like three dollars and 87 cents that's

his fucking change 387 387 387 and like 80 seconds later when she finally goes three dollars and 87 cents i'm just like yeah i know come on you get a prize a prize. There's a lady at our local gas station and there's something wrong with her. She has met Kitty, who has a British accent, for anyone who doesn't know, like 50 different times. Every time Kitty goes in there

though, it's the first time. Oh, your accent is so... Oh, I love your accent. Where are you from? You from England. Oh, your accent's so... Oh, I love your accent. Where are you from? You from England. Oh, I love that accent. You live around here.

And Kitty just has to play along with it day after day after day. Like, yes, I live around here. Like, they do the whole thing every time. And I just want to be like... No, this is just my favorite gas station. Flew all the way over. It's like she's got amnesia and she forgets every day like that adam sandler movie or something like that because she never remembers this there's just something fucking wrong with her have you ever had like one of the horrible i guess gas station employees where something comes to like three dollars and five cents and you give them four dollars and a nickel and just

the look behind their eyes is like they're trying to solve that fucking math equation from goodwill hunting where they're like it's only 305 and he gave me 405 this is way too much money sir like it's three chess all of a sudden in their head dude in fairness like 15 year old me wasn't particularly good at that. And it wasn't 305 to 405. Like, that one we're all on top of. But, you know, the thing costs like $9.17.

And they're like, oh, here's a quarter. And it's like, fuck. You know? The machine already told me they need 83 cents in return. Now I've got 25 cents extra and I have to figure this out on my own. You know? Woody has too many cents. If Woody gives

eight cents back to Susan, Woody's sensible. That's something you do to the clerk. Yeah, but that would be it. It would be like 17 cents. Throw a quarter on it so that it'll be like a dollar and a few. And yeah, I'm just like, dude, like, I don't know.

I never had. I would just have to figure it out. It makes you know that a machine would be more effective than you. Yeah, way more effective. I'd be better off if I was just a vending machine. That's for sure. I went to, just talking about this ridiculous nonsense,

I had, have you ever heard of the restaurant Wingstop? Yeah. So I had never heard of it before. I kind of thought it was more like a Subway kind of place where you go in and you pick out what wings you want. And they kind of quickly bundle it up and send you on your way. It's not really the case. You go in, you order, and they, like, make them super fresh. So they're really fucking good.

I went in at one point this week, and this dude in front of me ordered a fuck ton of wings. And they went back there making them. The guy sat down in the waiting area by me. The lady who had it like 20 minutes later, 25 minutes later even, takes the fucking wings, just gives them to some lady sitting down. Like a mistake. And it was like maybe five minutes past. This lady's already digging into these wings because flavors are of no concept to her.

These are my wings! And she starts eating them, and this dude sees it after he goes back up there, and he's like, I've been waiting. Where are my wings? And they're like, are you Steven? They're like, yeah. Oh, and you see a little conversation with the employees where you know they're saying, like, oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck. That lady over there, we accidentally susan steven's order and steven is now without order and he's like you gave my order to that lady over there didn't you and he's like yes we did we are i'm so sorry that we gave your order to that woman we're gonna put everything else in the back burner and get yours done again and so i'm sitting there like oh okay yeah my time's worth nothing whatever i sit there i wait another 20 minutes another 25 minutes goes by i've been at a fucking wing stop now for like 50 minutes with no wings. And this guy goes back up.

They have a screaming match between each other where it's basically just the manager saying, like, calm down, sir. Like, if you're going to curse, you can get right out of here. If you're going to curse, you can get right out of here. I hate that. I've heard that at least 10 times because this guy kept going like, I come here all the fucking time, and I spend a lot of fucking money on fucking chicken wings and they were yelling at each other and eventually a big

guy uh the the manager was was smaller than the customer customer was like about my size and customer leaves and i just think all right thank god i guess the guy just thought fuck this i'm not even gonna get my wings i'm leaving guy comes back and i guess he must have called the police because police were with him he called and i don't know what he said to them to get the police to show up because you can't just call and say i'm at a wing stop and they gave all of my teriyaki to this whore over here and now I'm I am wingless and because so he had to lie get them basically I had to wait even longer as cops came in and we're like what's going on here and they're like well there's no we accidentally gave

this gentleman's wings to someone else and the cops just kind of like sir just step outside to the guy to the customer and I guess he took him outside and must have said something to the effect of sir I'm a police officer I'm not here to to mitigate your chicken wing issues. And then the guy just left. Just left without his wings, and I ended up getting mine. But it was just, it was weird to sit there and watch because I was thinking the whole time,

all right, when fucking Ashton Kutcher bursts through that door, I'm going to be the guy that said, I knew it was fake, you asshole. It's literally unbelievable. I thought that was interesting. Great wings. Worth the wait? No. We'll next time.

That sounds awful. I like to think that the woman sits there all day and just says every order of hers. Technically, that ain't stealing. all day and just says every order of hers. That's right. Once even. Technically it ain't stealing. Yeah, I'm Fran's next customer in line.

I identify as Fran. I just got here. Wex, when you're making music, do you ever get inspired by someone else and realize that everything you're coming up with is just like imitating that guy or girl? Yeah, I think, yeah, definitely. I think that that's not as much these days, but I think when you first start doing it,

it's extremely common. Like, if I listen to really, really old stuff, like I would rap exactly like Talib Kweli or Method Man or something like, and then I didn't realize at the time that i was i just been listening to too much method man you know what i mean but as you get older you grow into your own style and voice a little bit more you know what i mean and i think you actually listen to less and less music the more you make your own you know what i mean you just stay in your own little weird world you ever cut yourself off of music or anything when you're in the middle of writing it just so that at the end you can be like all right i know that i was not influenced this is mine that's it that's interesting that'd be a good that'd be a good strategy but uh i don't

i don't think so if i if i'm listening to something too much maybe you know what i mean like sometimes you get an album and it just fucking hits you you know what i mean you listen to it a million times but um then again sometimes those albums are like a whole different genre of music than you even make anyway you know what i mean just yeah like i used i remember when amy winehouse's big album came out many years ago i was really attached to that but like i can't fucking sing like that anyway i couldn't like bite her if i tried you know yeah it's a woman anyway you know you know what i'm saying does knowing how this sausage is made like impact the way you think of music like like other people they just listen to it on the surface like does this make me feel good or bad but you probably

deconstruct how they did it what it took like does that change your opinion of music yeah yeah absolutely man it's like um what you know an interesting way to put it is this i've been making music for so long that i kind of always look at it like that. Like you hear the hi-hat and you're like, I wish they would have put more reverb on the hi-hat and EQ'd the snare drum a different way. And you're always thinking of it like that. It's hard to get back to your root of just like, oh, this makes me feel good, you know. But for me, it's like I used to watch movies as a kid. And I was like, I just thought like, how the fuck do you make a movie?

You know, but then once I started making music videos and i saw behind like it wasn't until way way later in my life that i watched tv and movies like from the eye of somebody that might be behind the camera so like that that i noticed more i noticed that feel that that effect you're talking about where like you see how the sausage is made it's i noticed it more with movies than i did with music reality tv like so like i'll see a scene right where people are arguing and stuff and maybe most people look at it and think that it could be real or whatever but if if the lighting is right it's like dude you know like do you know what it took to get that do you know what the the actors in that scene are seeing and with the shining and the lights and the

the lav mics and the whole thing like that production quality is so high that it's nothing close to real life it's you are acutely aware of a camera on a steadicam do people know what a steadicam vest looks like you know like with the thing over their shoulders and the floating and you got a camera on a steadicam vest looks like, you know, like with the thing over their shoulders and the floating. And you've got a camera on a Steadicam and proper, like, filtered lighting in that room. It takes me out of the moment, like, because I imagine what's behind the scenes a lot. Yeah, I thought of that when, did you guys watch Making a Murderer? Yeah.

I did, but I don't know what you're thinking of. Making a Murderer was a big Netflix series. And it's like what you're talking about basically i hate to bring up shit when people haven't seen it no i saw it i saw it i just don't know the scene you're talking about like it well like all the scenes where they're like they're like at the dude's family's house and it gets real serious and like i always thought but like yeah but like are they really acting like that i mean there's there's a camera in their fucking face the whole time but it seemed it seemed kind of genuine maybe maybe after a couple days like people just get used to it you

know it could be something that's like similar to that but also a little different is like seeing behind the scenes in movies where they have where the guy wears like that suit like uh andy circus in lord of the rings is gollum and it's just basically in a wet suit with a bunch of orb things on it now every time i see anything in a wetsuit with a bunch of orb things on it. Now, every time I see anything in a movie where there's a big monster grabbing a lady, and she's like, as he's breathing into her face, it's hard for me not to picture just the biggest

extra they have in a wetsuit standing there holding her, and she has to act really well and be like, Oh God, not Ted, the craft services guy! But, I don't know, I always think of that now ever since i watched those behind the scenes i just recently i was watching star trek and there was a scene where i think like a i don't know a small dragon or whatever it was like landed on an arm and i'm like ah you know like it just seemed like they weren't really interacting with it

in a way that seemed reasonable because it's hard it's not there at all interacting with it in a way that seemed reasonable. Because it's hard. It's not there at all. Right, they're really just in a room full of green walls. Well, it depends. Which Star Trek were you watching? The newest one Beyond. The movie. Oh, that's out? There's a new...

Yeah, there's a movie that's maybe two weeks out. Oh, the movie. The movie. Okay, I misunderstood. I was thinking like the TV show. Yeah. I've been watching that so much. I was talking about earlier but like it's so it's it's so hilarious to go back and watch the old you know original star trek uh episodes i watched one the other day so kirk checkoff and uhura beamed down to this planet immediately get captured and collared with these collars that, you know,

if the guy pushes a button, it's like excruciating pain. I'm familiar with those. Yeah. They immediately try to like, first thing first, they try to rape Uhura. Like,

like that's a thing. Like she's screaming and they're like, what are you doing to Uhura? And like, she fights off the raper or whatever. So now a chick comes into Kirk's room and it's the hottest space alien that there ever was she literally has like enormous fake looking boobs that are just huge and she's wearing a space bikini and she's got green hair and she's a space bikini it's a

silver like aluminum it's like she's wearing some aluminum foil, and she's super fucking hot. And so Kirk's first move is the honey dick. That's always his first move if he can make it, his first move. He'll use the phaser. He'll outsmart you and outfly you with his ship if he needs to. What's a honey dick, Kyle? All right, so it's the opposite of a honey pot. So a honey pot is like if you're like an intelligence agent or something

like that. Like remember, what's the Natasha chick from, you know, the Marvel movies? That's what she does. Black Widow. Black Widow. Yeah, that's what she would. She would honeypot you in, you know, seduce you and lure you back somewhere and then either manipulate you or kill you in some way. Basically, basically get her way by honeypotting you. So a honeydick is the opposite of that. It's a man coming in and seducing a woman and luring her in, getting what he wants. And that's what Kirk does constantly. So first thing he does, he sits down and he's like,

never seen such a beautiful woman before. And she's like, she's a little bit like a child. It's a little weird that he's hitting on her because she's like what does beautiful mean and he like picks up a mirror and he goes that is beautiful like shows her reflection so the next thing you know he's got her somewhere and he's like he's like making out with her and she and she's never been kissed before and he's like getting all grabby with her and he's like getting more and more information out of her and and until the point where he's like he's like that's what love is when a man and a woman can share that that's the most powerful thing in the universe love and just more seducing her more and more and more at the end of the episode he tricks her into

like basically getting his way completely overthrowing the alien overlord brains and she's like can I go with you into the stars and he's like you have a lot to learn here first teachers and and learn and and and only then can you reach for the stars and he's like Scotty give me the fuck up it was such bullshit because if he'd wanted to he could have been like four to beam up i got a space bitch now but he didn't want her he was just honeydicking her the whole time he didn't give a shit and he does that constantly anytime there's a woman who needs to be like you know she's she's a problem his first move is to seduce her every time it's always the honey dick it's hilarious i thought of like oh and one more thing but the the costumes for seem for the

women seem to almost exclusively be mini skirts like i'm seeing ohura's ass the whole show every time she stands up from her chair her ass is hanging out of her panties like i had forgotten that so the 60s and 70s were a sexual time right when i was a kid right so i was a kid in like the 80s and 90s i feel like i'm the last generation to legitimately believe their parents were like virgins when they married that they behaved in high school i didn't know if you went to school in the 50s did you smoke pot in the 50s i think mostly not or like not like now the devil's lettuce you know the 40s the 30s like i like alcohol was like the the the edge of misbehaving back in the day cigarettes stuff like that now like if you're growing up now more normalized if you're a teenager now you know your parents like grew up in a time when sin was rampant yeah yeah teenagers now

i mean they're exposed to so much sex like when i was when i was a kid to have pornography i mean you had to you had to be a fucking detective like You had to have a hole in your backyard to bury it in. First of all, it was a physical thing that you could hold. You know what I mean? It's pornography, look! There's no jerking off to Victoria's Secret catalogs now. How did you come by your first porno mag, Wax? First porno mag?

Did you buy it? Did you get it from a friend friend it was definitely got from a friend who got it from like their dad's secret stash or something or their older brother or something like that that's how i got that's how i got like dirty rap albums that's how i got pornography that's how that's how you got shit back then alcohol you know what i mean you had to get somebody had an older brother who was cool you know with the magazines you had to really you couldn't just go a flipping through burning all that material you know you had to really be careful like do i want to go to page three because this is the foreseeable future right here and maybe i could just finish with page two today because if you

just get greedy right off the start and you look through the whole thing then two weeks later you're you're back where you started and then i felt like lesser masturbators didn't realize just how much content was in there like do you maybe they don't realize it but the phone sex operators in the back they're hot too you know there's more than just the four or five women that hustler hired for this thing. There's hundreds of women in here, if you look carefully. I bet like 11-year-old Taylor's bank account wasn't necessarily in a good enough spot to be calling sex workers. Well, you don't call them. No, just the ad.

Yeah, like, you know, like, call me for a good time. That Chickstoplis, that, hey, I don't know how much you need but that's enough. What was the one that you were all out of the traditional magazines and so you had to go for one that might be like Better Homes

and Gardens or like The Good Housewife or whatever the hell other one like you're in a tight spot. Was there one that you went to? It wasn't anything like that because i had found this this this vhs porno in an old wrecked car in a junkyard it was called give me head and uh yeah i still remember and the tracking was all messed up so you really had to adjust and like i would be opening it up and blowing the dust off of the film and then putting it back in and messing with to adjust and like i would be opening it up and blowing the dust off of the film and then putting it back in and messing with the traction and like large portions of the film were

just a blur of like horizontal fuzzy lines and like green and purple waves and then a big titty like just one big titty like a like an octopus eye like floating in the in the top right corner and you knew that there was some and oh okay she's on top all right all right now i'm with it all right i can get with this okay and it would clear up a little more and you'd see some bush and you know it you would get the job done though dude i see you're watching it with context it was educational early in my marriage i came home with this like, it was a VHS tape and it was split down the middle. Half of it was pink, half of it was purple,

and it was like how to please your man, how to please your woman, right? And we're just early in our marriage and I'm just like, hey, you know what? This seems like a good idea. You know, it's not that we didn't know how to have sex or whatever, but I just thought we'd add more items to the menu, right?

Dude, it was awful. It was like one of the tips i remember this in particular they're like oh have you tried fucking fruit and then she cuts out the middle of a tomato recommends that you microwave it so that it's the right temperature and then like jack off your guy with the middle of the tomato and and my wife is looking at me like and i'm'm like, no, no. That's a bad idea. She's over there hollowing out a tomato and you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Woody, I've been doing the budget and we're spending a huge amount at Whole Foods. Only organic.

No pesticides. And you're only eating a small cylinder of each bit of fruit? I don't understand. Like when I hear somebody say like four things that I don't know about and one that's total bullshit, suddenly I call the other four into question. That's what happened with this tape. It was like, all right, so some of these tips, I don't know if she'll like them or not like them,

but that tomato shit has ruined all your credibility. Because, I mean, I'm open-minded, but I'm not a fruit fucker really like that's you gotta really be careful with the amount of time that you microwave it for too you know especially with a tomato you know like with it like for example with a cherry tomato if it's too hot off the grill and you fucking explodes and just burns

your entire mouth the regular tomato if you microwave it too long stick your dick in there I don't mean to brag but cherry tomato be too small for me. I don't know about you, small wax. Right. Yeah, I just use a little tiny drill bit. Now, was that the only fruit-based sexual play that was in the tape?

Or on the other end of the tape are they like putting condoms on cucumbers and and like the fruit based thing was bad but like i remember when they were saying like how to finger a woman they were like you know like i don't it was like rough it was like yeah don't be afraid babies come from here and i was just like whoa like i i don't think that's good advice oh I saw that same video. That's a good video. Is that the video where the guy is showing you how to make the girl squirt? And it's like a perfect woman and she's laying completely nude on the table and then like he like makes her squirt.

I have seen that. But that wasn't this video. I maybe just attributed that quote to this one. Lots of times you hear hey this is where babies come from do what you gotta do like the guys like like just yanking up and down with this motion yeah i've seen that one to him making a girl squirt as you actually stick a cherry tomato in her vagina and step on her belly while we're talking about insertions did anybody else see the the little gif on on Reddit today of them pouring the big bag of...

Yeah, everybody saw it! No, no, no. I thought you were about to segue into an ad. Like, hey, while we're talking about insertions, let me tell you more about Nature Box or something. Like, no, Kyle, don't. While we're talking about box. No, but maybe we can transition out of this eel topic. So, yeah, they take a big funnel and a hose,

and they stick one end in this Japanese girl's ass while she's on all fours, and then they've got this big wriggling thing of, like, baby eels, each about five inches long. And the hose is clear. Yeah, and they pour them into the funnel like she's doing, like, a beer bong thing, and they just one by one wriggle through the hose and into her butt. Where's PETA now? This is Japan, though.

You can't in Japan. But you see what they do to the dolphins. Every time you think you're crazy, right? Any time you think that you're like, you know, like, oh, yeah, I'm not afraid to try new things. Don't with Japan like you can't hang no one hangs with Japan I whatever I was in it like an Xbox live like shit talking session and then I hear a British accent just shut the fuck up you won't win you won't win those bastards play at another level over in England yeah they just like I

don't know unlike cursing getting on like cursing. Just like, yeah, they throw out the cunt word and stuff like that. They're way stronger and they're more clever than me. If I talk trash about you and then you respond in a British accent, it's like, I'm sorry, I didn't know. I didn't know.

It's like you don't pick a rap battle with Eminem, right? You don't talk smack with a British dude. That's my rule. Anyway. They poured a whole bunch of those eels into her butt. And I was like, and it was just a quick gif on the What The Fuck subreddit. And I was like, I have to know more. So I start reading through the comments. And apparently this is like a 10-year-old video.

The really funny part of the video is that one of the eels doesn't go in the funnel quite right. It bounces off and like hits her leg. And she flinches like she's creeped out that it touched her leg. Meanwhile they're pouring like two dozen in her asshole. And they're going in. The hose is

of a certain diameter that they have to go one by one, like literally head to tail. So it's like Into the guest chamber. Yeah, yeah. And she's like, as more and more so apparently it's part of a longer video that you could go to but i didn't trust my virus protection on my phone or any of my computers here to protect me go to uh go into that website but they said it was part of a three hour video so i don't know what the fuck they do for three hours

but um i get fucking two dozen eels out of someone's asshole you should mention that so what what i read happened there's a little kind of like there's the cliff notes are down there and they said that uh i guess they get all the eels in her butt and then she poops all the eels out and then they start fucking her and then then they realize what a person yeah human beings yeah some some humans jump into the fray oh now they're really mixing it up and they start they start fucking her like i think both holes maybe and and then a little bit into that they realize we left one of the eels in so we gotta stop and like get another eel out of her and then they go right back at it again that's just less attractive to me

when she did the eels that i really yeah that i knew there were no limits then i was really turned on i was like oh yeah she'd be fine if that was scorpions or grasshoppers or something weird like she's she just whatever we need to do she's up for it yeah yeah she's not gonna be skeeved out by a botched circumcision at that no not at all like if we're fishing this is the chick who could bait a hook. She's like, I've had like 30 of these in my ass before. No big deal. She doesn't care.

Yeah. I was very impressed. Welcome to the show, Lex. There's just no way someone could film it unless there's someone offstage with a gun or a katana threatening her to do that. Who is that fucked up oh she even says like in the dialogue she's oh what was she said she said something like i shouldn't have quit my job at the salon i think i think they said

i i swear to god it said that yeah yeah that's what it said down below that that that that she said i shouldn't have quit my job at the salon. It kind of makes me think of what we were talking about earlier as far as seeing how the sausage is made and thinking about the people behind the scenes. It makes me think of the dudes behind the scenes that didn't count the eels that came out. Since there was still one left in,

they're like, next time we do a roll call. If there were 10 eels that go in, 10 come out before we count you know like osha comes in someone's ass tall we had um 12 who was the the porn star oh i feel bad not remembering her name uh she's a white girl her boyfriend's name was forest at the time she came on the show jenny no it started with an a like air share come on kyle you don't remember either aria aria aria aspen was her name and um she came on the show and her experience in porn was pretty much

like like i guess while the cam was rolling, she was fine. But then afterwards, it really hurt her feelings. And there was one scene in particular where the guy was rough. And I guess there was, like, doggy involved and his foot was on her head. And she's driving home and just, like, feeling really bad about the way the whole thing went down. And she said that a lot of girls do that, too. And I don't know. Just, like, that little knowledge of how the sausage was made. Like know i don't know you're watching the video seemed like everyone was having a great time you know like oh yeah she's into this yeah it's it's acting that's the actual acting part

is that like if she was just like like those eels aren't actors no the eels are not actors and that's a reality show that's the. Japanese porn is a fucking reality show. They're doing shit, and you can tell nobody wants to do it. It seems like the guy porn actors. Even the guy with the funnel was like, you sure about this? All right, then. He's just some guy from the bait shop.

He's like, What are you trying to catch you know we just need eels but yeah like my thing is i think like guys who do porn tend to do again and again and again hundreds of scenes. They're happy. Most women quit after one or two scenes. And I don't know. It makes you hyper aware of the fact that, yeah, they might have had a really bad experience out of this whole thing.

I know a good amount of people out here in that business, in the porn business. And the dude actually has the the harder job you know i mean that the girls are more sought after because obviously that's what people are really looking at but the man the man in porn there's much there's there's a much smaller group of male actors like you'll notice that if you watch porn you always see the same dudes but there's a million women because it's doing that shit is not it's not easy man you know yeah they've got to keep an erection through like it's not like they just got to have sex for three hours and just keep it going it's like they've got to stop every seven minutes and like all right pose like

this all right now pose like that like like they're just you're doing like a photo shoot with a full erection the whole time and if they lose it all of a sudden that like you know it was like hutch was saying last week it like gets in your head. Can you imagine the mental games with a room full of people putting lighting on your cock just right. The lighting's bad on his cock now. It got a little soft. That's in your head? What the fuck? That's awful.

But you're right. There's so few. I've got a Naughty America subscription for my 4K and virtual reality porn account yeah yeah and uh you gotta pay if you want good vr porn you gotta pay it seems and good 4k too there's not a lot of content but as i'm going through there it's like wow if you really want to categorize this porn you should just do it by the guy doing the fucking because there's only

like four guys in the whole catalog who are fucking and like I want to watch that one guy fuck he's weird looking and he keeps grunting and stuff and that's throwing me all off like I can I can hear him grunting and it's like I don't laugh yeah too much grunting you meant to be seen not heard like children yeah absolutely porn should abide by Laura Ingalls Wilder Little House on the Prairie Rules of speak when spoken to, and even then, keep it short. Yeah, absolutely. The guy in porn is like a mannequin. You know what I mean? And the girls

like the clothes that are on the mannequin. You're not the thing that's trying to look good and sexy, you know what I mean? Don't get over yourself, dude. Work out, and you're good. You know what I mean? Yeah, but I don't want him to be gross-looking. There was one of the guys on the uh the 4k porn i couldn't watch because he had so much razor they shave everywhere anyway but he had so much razor burn on like the area between his

from his belly button to his crotch was all like razor burn and you probably wouldn't have been able to see it in 1080p but in 4k it just looks like he's... It looks gross, and I know in my head, because I've had little patches of Razorburn, that that stings. That stings right now. He's not having fun with her grinding all over that. That hurts. He's not enjoying this at all.

In the back of his head, he's like, that kind of burns down there. I think some of that pussy juice went into my... I think some of that pussy juice might have went into my razor burn. It stings! It stings! Yeah, absolutely. I think that's happened to everyone. You know, a little bit of vaginal

juice goes into some razor burn, it stings because that is acidic. Yeah, it hurts. It's completely normal? Yeah. We've all been there. Yeah. Everyone has, because everybody shaves down there now, right? Yeah. We've all been there. Everyone has, because everybody shaves down there now, right?

Woody's acting like he doesn't know what we're talking about, but I swear that's a thing. I feel like vagina is acidic. It's just that it's rubby. I think it's also the fluid. I think that it's acidic. I don't know. Maybe.

Rubbing razor burn feels horrible. You ever pour a bunch of baking soda down there and make a vagina volcano? Everyone has. It's normal. Yeah. I kind of dip my dick in water and batter it with baking soda and then go in and it's just like a volcanic eruption.

Yeah, sometimes it's like, honey, you know what? Put your knees by your ears again. Assume the pose. We're going to put some baking soda in here and make a science experiment. Yeah. Dip it in water and sink, then like do that weird you know, fucking crab dance over to the sink.

Or you just come up there and kind of throw it around and batter it like it's a... See, that's the porno I want to see now. I want the woman to get in like a face up a face down ass up position and then then to body paint her so that she looks like a volcano and then the guy to kind of do it like froggy style if you know what that is uh with the baking soda dick and make some sort of a volcanic eruption i don't anybody get hurt like if that's dangerous let's not do it but you know it just seems like a fun idea a new sexual position it wasn't new to me uh like in terms of a new idea but i know the name for it

did you know what prison style is right can i guess is is that when you well when the other person doesn't want it at all no no no come on and tell us what what is prison and unless i have this wrong it's the lady lays on her belly, right, with her legs together. The guy has his knees outside hers. He fucks a guy with a swastika tattoo. It's just vaginal sex, like the doggy style where she lays flat. But, you know, she's like in a straight line and he's having sex with her kind of flat doggy style. That's prison style.

So she's like pushing her legs together so you have to get through her thighs too pretty much yeah yeah but i mean she's not resisting i hope in a healthy relationship that's like prison style resisting i like the like bars almost you know like the prison bars and you're trying to break through the bars and get to the freedom of her vagina i hadn't thought of it like that i just assumed it's how they did it probably ass raped in prison but i don't know i don't think that's how they asked me in prison i think there's a lot of please you know a lot of a lot of being bent over something i would i always assume that they mentally broke them first i feel like the way to rape someone in prison

is to make them understand that they can't that resisting is worse yeah you want a willing participant i i was listening to this guy tell stories about having sex in prison, and it wasn't necessarily rape. It was just how they got down in there if it was consensual. And he was talking about jelly ass. He's like, you ever give somebody the jelly ass?

And they were like, no. What the fuck's a jelly ass? He's like, you take jelly, a jam, strawberry, grape, don't matter. Fill that asshole up with it and eat that asshole. And it tastes just like jelly. It tastes delicious. Sweet, nutritious, good for you.

I love a jelly ass. So and then they're like, so do you eat the jelly ass? He goes, hell yeah, I eat the jelly ass. Or do you like to put the jelly in your ass and have it eat? Oh, yeah, that too. Get a little white bitch to eat my jelly ass. Oh, yeah. It was just like, this is the best segment ever.

That was on Stern like a long time ago. But he's talking about jelly ass. How available is jelly in prison? Maybe it's like a treat, like a special treat. I think you can get packets of jam maybe either at the commissary or in the cafeteria. So they have that readily readily readily available source of ass sweetening uh jam i feel like if you're one of the prisoners that's kind of like the the dominant prisoners you can just like during lunch you can just take all the weaker people's

jelly and save them for later and then just later not only did they not get to eat their jelly they can eat it later out of his asshole yeah and even then, if you're the big top guy on the food chain there, you can just dictate to other people what the new fetishes are. Now y'all putting jelly in your ass! What? Why? Because I won't eat it out of there! You all gotta do it too! I'm not the weirdo!

You know, like, you know, that's gonna be the new thing. What pepper dose makes me sneeze? Like, gosh? Fuck you. It sounded to me like that the person doing the eating was the one who was, like, advocating for a jelly ass. Like, the guy getting his ass eaten, he's like, I don't fucking care. Get in there. But the one doing the eating, he's the one, hang on, sir.

Could I just, I got a bit of jam here. If you will, just let me. Yeah, let me just get it all out of there now i don't want to waste any i only got so much of this jam and he's like wringing it all out like i don't imagine prison assholes to meet my sanitary standards they got razors in there i mean maybe although you i think it would depend on the relationship i feel like maybe if you had like a consensual prison bitch, and you guys basically had a relationship together,

that maybe you could ask Big Mike and the boys to trim up a little down there for your benefit. You'd be like, hey, I'm wasting a lot of jelly here. It takes a whole pack just to get the hair wet. It's not just trimming, though, right? There's a whole sanitary... If I'm gonna jelly ass someone, I need

full faith and confidence that your ass is in a state that is appropriate for jellying, right? Oh, ass is always ready for jelly time. What if you just like, you know, you come back from basketball or something and then it wants to do a little jelly ass?

No. I think that the place, it probably happens the most often in the shower area. Yeah, yeah. Maybe it's convenient like that. That's where I do my jelly assing, I think. If I were to jelly ass, it'd be in the shower. Oh, my God, I found the video. It's a minute and 30 seconds.

You're going to love this. All right. This is a video of him talking about it, because I don't want to watch this happen. Yeah, yeah, he's talking about it. He doesn't give any jelly ass in this actual YouTube video or anything. So what we do here, Wax, is we start the video, queue up at zero, and then we'll do a countdown and watch it in sync. Okay, is it going to come up on my screen?

No, you've got to click on it. Oh, fuck. I just saw something. It should be in the chat. Do you have the chat up? Or do you just have it? Down by the lowermost box, you're going to see a text little chat bubble. Click that and it'll open up the chat

on the right side of the screen. All right. Okay, yeah. You're at zero? All right. Three, two, one, play. First of all, if he's a newcomer, right? alright 321 play here

turn your side you know I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I want to get back to you now Relax too loud. I will, you know, come. I will automatically suck my ass for about 10 minutes alone. It's a sensation film. It's a sensation film that makes you feel real good. Most all gays do that. You know what I'm saying? Like God, suck their ass.

It's just like a pussy, right? But the only difference is it's not a pussy, right? It's clean. The person's decent. And the person knows that that's an asshole, but in my view, he's looking at it as a pussy because he's in prison. So toss my salary to me. Let him eat me, you know, and we're straight. That's it. The most hazardous thing in prison life is being dead over drugs. They can get you killed or raped one of the other they can't pay i had one opportunity with three guys two of them owe me money right so i knew i couldn't get them together so what i did i got one one day i want to say i stuck this dick in the closet you know

what i'm saying i sucked the dick you know i had his pants down. He helped us. That's it. He helped us. Right? His dick hard. I'm sucking on it, right? I can't write up my cousin. Jesus. I left my man in the closet. He didn't tell, but he couldn't explain.

How could he explain that the fact that something in his dick had come off his cousin? He couldn't explain that. There's no way in hell you can explain that. What the fuck? I forgot about that part. Son of a bitch. Jesus Christ. I'm really confused.

So for anybody who didn't follow that, he just explained that there was a guy who owed him money. So he went to that guy and offered to suck his dick in the closet. And the guy was like, sure. So he starts sucking the guy's dick in the closet. The guy's dick gets hard. And then he comes up off the dick and cuts the guy and leaves him in the closet. Because then the guy can't go to the administration and be like, yeah, I was in the closet getting my dick sucked by a faggot he can't tell him that what's he gonna do that's some real dedicated hate right there that is a whole new he hated that guy so

that he sucked his dick i believe a troubling world i feel like that is half maybe true and half he was talking to his friends he's like all right i'm gonna go over and i'm gonna tell him that we put jam in each other's assholes and eat it out and they're gonna be like dude nobody's gonna believe that he's like just watch just watch i've seen that before did i couldn't the audio was bad because i was hearing it through skype too did he mention the whole jelly thing or just tossing salad i i didn't hear it. He called it. He said with jelly or something else.

Chris Rock mentions that in one of his stand-up things. Dude, that's awful. I wonder if it's true. They should show that video. Yeah, that's from a documentary called Life in Prison or something like that. There's several segments. He could have totally just been like, dude, wait until you see what I tell him about prison. They're not going to watch it.

They don't have fucking TV. He's in real prison. No, I bet they can watch it. I bet that's how they incentivize so many people to give interviews is they're like, hey, you know your life and how you ruined it and it's now useless. They give them a lifetime supply of great jelly. Maybe. Maybe. maybe i maybe that's really i i've been watching oz and this is almost a seamless transition to oz uh have you seen it wax i have not so it's basically an hbo show from the late 90s early

2000s i know what i've heard of it for sure but okay it's it's really like you know when you go back and you watch a show from like 1996 and even though it's not super long ago, you still know it's going to be held to a different standard of what they're saying and doing and the level of, like, how extreme it gets? Violence. This is ridiculous. Like, they could not make this show now, probably, because of a lot of the shit that happens in it.

Like, it's horrifying. If that's what prisons actually like, and J.K. Simmons comes around and rapes you every other day like oh my god no one's your friend like in oz that to me was the big takeaway like oh you know is it do you think this guy is nice to you he's not your friend this guy that guy you have no friends guards nobody your your friends will drop you anytime they spot an opportunity you know yeah like uh the attorney who gets put in there who's like totally out of whack and i guess killed someone and gets taken by jk simmons i'm not worried about spoiling it because from 20 years ago gets taken by jk simmons and like basically raped it's not like a get it here i'm gonna rape

you it's like jk simmons slowly like makes it clear like yeah you're my bitch like yeah you come over here you do this do my laundry you do that put on this makeup put on this dress sing in the talent show like just chips away at the guy's self-esteem and well-being until he's just clay in his hand chipping away is the perfect description right because the first things he made him do, you're like, all right. If I was in that situation, I'd do the guy's laundry too, right? You need protection. The guy was in a horrible spot.

The whole prison identified him as weak. So you do some laundry. And then I think he had him wear something, right? It's been a long time since I've seen it. And you're like uh it really started to trend downward when he laid the guy down and tattooed a swastika right next to his asshole so that everyone would know this is uh the white clan's property or i guess you could just say the clan the clan's property yeah it it yeah with the with the tattoo and and there's some lipstick,

and I think there was some dressing up or something. I don't recall. It's been a while. I mean, at that point, who cares, right? He made him dress up like a woman and sing in front of everyone at the talent show for all the prisoners, and they're all hooting and hollering at the dude, and he's just up there completely defeated.

What song? I hope I can sing forever, because otherwise I'm just going to get raped right after this. Do you remember what song it was? No, I don't remember. I hope it was Once New Pussycat. Let's just go with it. Once New Pussycat. That's awful.

Yeah, I remember starting to watch that show and being like, I don't like this. This makes me feel bad. And I feel bad for all the main characters. And even, I couldn't relate with any of them. And if you do relate with them, it starts making you feel scared that someone's going to come fucking rape you. But I was looking for a new show at the time, and that's when I first

started watching Game of Thrones. I was like, what's this Game of Thrones thing? And then just got totally sucked into that for years now. Ended up working out. But I recommend Oz highly if you can stomach it. Because it is really upsetting. The thing that happens in Oz, I often put myself in that situation, prison in particular.

Like, how would I survive in this environment? How would I get by? And I don't see myself having any superpowers that this attorney didn't have. He was educated. He was clever. He was smarter than the other people. But, you know, he wasn't able to who is it tywin lannister who's the tyrian the little guy you know how he manages like get out

of all this trouble like oh you don't want to kill a midget you'll need me alive and then no he doesn't tyrian lannister his way out of any situations by his you know law degree no he's just fucked quite literally yeah that's what I was, like, it makes you think when you're watching it, like, because you have, like, this misapprehension, I think everyone or every man at least does, about going to prison and where you'd be, and you watch that, and you're like,

man, if you're not on point from the start, from step one, like, if you go in, and you wait until step three to be like, oh, now I'm Mr. Tough Prison Guy, like, you already lost. You already revealed your hand. And so I don't know what I – if I couldn't make a really friendly Nazi laugh a lot, I'd be fucked. Like, there's no way.

Like, I would go in there immediately and be like, hey, guys, I'm so glad I'm here. I've been meaning to meet up with you. I missed a couple of meetings back home, and I'm so sorry I meant to join. I'm so happy to be here. Just tap me up. You're like, so two Jews, a Mexican, and a black walk into a bar. What is the point? I shoot all of them and that's why I'm here.

Hang on to that one. Hang on to that one. That may be your ticket. I asked my wife for coffee I was going to talk about the pilot shows that's the coffee alternative? well no there's a coffee too it just came with

an ice cream sundae for some reason Jesus wow what were you saying about the show? the shield so the shield was on fx and uh it's it's really worth the watch because it's a it's it's a it's a it's a it's a group of like dirty cops who are trying to get money for themselves working a drug unit in los angeles and uh i think it's la and there's one part where the main guy Michael Chiklis like gets this drug dealing uh child

raper and he's trying to run him out of town and the guy's like just he's just like no no I'm not afraid of you you can't hurt me and he's beating the guy senseless and the guy's just laughing at him you know he's doing that he's just spitting blood out like teeth are falling out he's like I don't care I don't care so he turns the stove on the oven and you know it's one of those electric eyes on the top that's just a you know a circle that you know a concentric circle smaller and smaller and he gets to get one arm one of the guy's arms behind his back and like an arm lock and kicks the guy's head and just puts the whole side of his face on it and i don't mean for like three seconds i mean for like 12 seconds and the whole

time it's sizzling and the guy is screaming and and chick and his buddies are going let him go let him go and he's just like you gonna leave you gonna leave and he's just like no and it's just and when it's over for the rest of the seriesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss was coming to my house all the time. It wasn't really the SWAT team after the first two times. It was just regular uniformed cops saying, are you really killing your wife and kids? And I'm like, no. And one of the cops got annoyed by it. And he said it kind of under his breath. And I was like, I'm sorry, guys.

You know, it really sucks that this... But I wish I could make it stop. And he's like, well, you could just leave town. And I'm like, wait, what? What year is it? Yeah, like, this policeman, like, made me feel like I needed to leave town so he was no longer inconvenienced by my fans. Fans, you know?

And, like, I didn't like. Protect protecting you is too much of a job for him it seems i i i i mentioned to my wife and i was like what the fuck like you know so the next time the SWAT team came or the SWAT team right the next time the police were called to my house it might have been a day or two days at the most later like it wasn't a long gap. And I mentioned it to him. I'm like, you know that other guy that was here two days ago? He told me to leave town. Like, isn't that a little fucked up? I was angry and not feeling victimized by it.

And whoever his boss was, I don't know, Sergeant, Captain, I'm not really on top of my ranks or anything, but they came around and apologized on his behalf. They were like, we are so sorry. You know, like, this is not how we get down in apex rest assured he's on six months of paid leave he's in acapulco right now he won't bother you at all but uh but yeah that's it's like my little like a cop told me like it'd be nice if i left town type story i don't know it's still a little fucked up to me yeah yeah it almost i bet that would make me want to be an even more difficult case and be like you know what send them yeah they call me in advance this is what like they got to that point where

they call me in advance are you killing your wife maybe you know get dressed up boys yeah i would never throw a baby and just assume that I've got buddy buddy with the police maybe are you gonna come and find out please mr. Woodworth don't say that to us now we have to come out there that's my boy right it's a weird thing and you're

sitting there smiling on the phone with me covered in blood with an axe in your hand tomorrow for ignoring it thanks a lot for the fucking trip there was a comedian it might have been sarah silverman i don't remember for sure but she was like if i'm ever rich if i'm a billionaire i'm gonna use my money to fuck with police right you pull through a stop sign the rain's coming down the cop comes up to your window and says do you know know why I pulled you over? And she's like, yeah, do you know why I ran that stop sign? To fuck with the police is the punchline.

Oh, Sarah Silverman. You're, what the hell is a misogynist? Maybe you're a misogynist. That's what you're called. You evil, terrible person for not thinking female comics are good. Not female comics, just her.ah silverman i think she's funny enough i don't know i think female

most like women comics do better in acting roles than they do in just straight up stand-up i feel like like female comedians are funnier when they say things written by men tina fey um amy poehler i love them if they're in something i'm interested uh but you know who a comedian is that is excellent that you should watch is joan rivers she's dead now but go watch a couple joan rivers stand-up specials she is fucking hysterical. Hilariously funny. She never falls on like little crutch. I'm a woman.

Give me a couple pity laughs here while I bridge these two actually good bits together. She never does that. It's all good, quick insult. She's great. She's fucking fucking great. She had these note cards. Thousands upon thousands upon thousands

of these note cards with little jokes and little quips on them and little one-liners just but a bump bump kind of jokes just tens and tens of thousands of catalog that she just wrote over the years she was really smart really quick and uh she even like right before she died she died having this uh cosmetic throat surgery i believe um even right before then she was going on the Stern Show, and like, her comedy hadn't gotten old at all.

It was still cutting edge. It was still, it was about the Kardashians, or about modern things that were happening right now. Yeah, she stayed current. She stayed current, yeah, yeah. She was a little mean, though, I felt like, in her... Oh, that's why I liked her. Yeah. Very fighting. She's one of the founders of the insult comedy shit. I saw that

same thing, whatever you saw with the note cards, I saw that same thing. I was impressed by that, too. Yeah. Yeah, she's from, like, the Don Rickles era. Like, she founded fucking just insulting the shit out of, like, roasting, you know? I guess there was, she didn't found it, but, you know, she's early in the game. Yeah, she was a mean old bitch. She's been doing it for a long time.

She's another guy who's fucked up is Don Rickles. Because if you're my age or really anyone under the age of 70 you probably just know him as an old guy who seemed mostly friendly and shit in the 90s and 2000s if you listen to that guy's stand-up like there's there's footage of him in like the 60s ripping on like early 60s politicians because he was still that famous in the early 60s and he still looks like an old codger in the early 60s which is remarkable but he's fucking like it makes like we will go now and be like oh did you hear like john stewart at the uh like political news meetup whatever that is that it's called and people think he's biting or that he's clever or something no go watch like

don rickles he's saying legitimately mean horrible things two people sitting right there and they have to sit there and smile and take it not like oh obama you know oh first black president but his mom's white so is he really but just like stupid shit like it's him like oh yeah you like don rickles being like you had a pretty severe alcohol problem up until i just saw you down another one huh how's that like just really like poignant like oh fuck that's legitimately mean stuff and it's refreshing to see i liked it yeah don rickles is awesome he was on you've seen jerry seinfeld's comedians and cars getting coffee thing like he's still alive it was actually it was actually not to bring it down but it was actually really sad

because everybody that he came up with his whole crew of people that he used to do show business with every single one of them is dead and he has like all these pictures and like he's like the only guy left from his era of dean martin and sammy davis jr and frank sinatra and all them you know so it's kind of it's kind of sad but it was cool to see like he still does shows in vegas like almost every night you know what i mean his racial his racial shit's a little dated you know what i mean like some asian shit that you're like, really, dude? Yeah, because he was getting his start, or I guess getting big during what, Vietnam or Korea even?

All of them. World War II, Vietnam, all of them. World War II, he's talking about the Japs still. Won't watch TV on a Samsung. Really bitter. If we were to get in war with china what would they call them charlie's um no charlie's is vietnamese right okay um i don't think i don't think that they they'd have to think of something that's dehumanizing that's not officially racist like

like now i guess now it's it's terrorists you know what i mean because terrorists isn't really a racial thing but if you call back in those days it was okay to just make a racial slur nowadays you couldn't say an Asian racial slur you'd have to call them like communists yeah did you say that communists

I said Charlie commies they might call them commies I could see that I don't know I remember before we were doing all this Middle East stuff, we were in Somalia and stuff and they called them skinnies. That was the name. Yeah, they called them skinnies.

That is very insensitive. That is so insensitive to call someone who's starving a skinny. I mean, I don't know what we're talking about, what the Somalians did. I'm sure it wasn't great, but that's pretty shitty. They did drugs, and they shot at each other.

And dehumanize them. Very difficult target. It's a tactic, right? Because the chubbies are getting shot everywhere yeah not so skinnies yeah yeah you don't need much you don't need much spread to hit a bunch of americans they call us like the beats or something for diabetes put the die and die sorry yeah i don't know if we started with china probably just comm. Yeah, I don't know. If we started with China, it's probably just commies.

But even, I don't know. Twitter would have an uprising about anything that you called any of our enemies other than, like, you know, somewhat justified fighters from a different region. Who are totally within their cultural right to do what they're doing. Nah. I feel like you're thinking of Tumblr. You know? Twitter or Tumblr. See, this is... Twitter has a vast schism.

Twitter's everybody. You can go to a trending site and people... I don't know. Very few moderate people on Twitter. That seems true to the internet. If moderate people are on Twitter, their tweets are moderate, so nobody pays attention. You know what I mean?

That could be it. If you tweeted, like, you know, I kind of think, like, Republicans and Democrats, they're both okay. You're not going to get a lot of retweets. See, that'd go wild and trending. It is whatever. Because to get traction, you have to, like, cash in on a trending topic. Because to get traction, you have to cash in on a trending topic, and a moderate isn't going to cash in on, like,

behead Trump or Hillary for Gitmo or something. They're going to be like, oh, that's stupid. That's stupid. That doesn't make a lot of sense. Trump is running a terrible campaign right now. He is absolutely embarrassing himself. He's a complete idiot. He's trying to argue now, most recently, that Obama and Hillary literally

founded ISIS. He keeps saying that. And he was on this real friendly territory, like conservative radio show, and the guy goes, you don't mean they literally founded ISIS. What you're saying is they created a chasm by pulling out of Iraq and ISIS emerged from the ashes. No.

They literally founded it. They are MVPs. I listened to that same interview. Hugh Hewitt and Donald Trump, that was his name, the guy who interviewed him. Basically, he gave Donald Trump the correct answer on a silver platter. And Trump knocked the platter out of his hands and like

just got mad at him for it so basically when trump said you know obama and hillary founded isis what you should take from that is the same thing as like like bush lied people died stuff where it's like you don't actually think that they were involved intimately with this but where with pulling out of iraq and then not doing anything about Syria he allowed that vacuum to open up and for shit to happen with ISIS you know it went from being a quote JV team to being a real world power of of terror and that's clearly what he should have said and this other guy said to him so that's what you meant right that by pulling out of Iraq and not sufficiently handling handling Syria that Obama allowed them in collusion with Hillary to become a

larger playing force in the Middle East? No. No, what I mean is that he literally started ISIS. He literally started ISIS. I don't care what you say. I don't care who you're speaking to. They started ISIS and I'm not backing down from that. He's an idiot. He's an idiot.

I got two things, right? One, it's like he's circled back to his birther days where he's a punchline, right? He's not a presidential candidate. He's a fucking punchline at this point, Donald Trump. And then the second thing, oh, he unveiled his economic policy. And I loved the media reaction to it because they all praised him for not being a complete jackass they're like hey there were 14 protesters that interrupted it he didn't threaten any of them with violence he didn't steal their winter coats he just you know he behaved that's not praising that's backhands complimenting trying

to remind people of shit he's done they were saying they did not well i'm not saying they didn't steal winter coats that's not an accurate quote but they were like hey you know what's really notable is that how well he behaved himself he you know he didn't take winter clothes. That's not an accurate quote, but they were like, hey, you know, what's really notable is that how well he behaved himself. You know, he didn't take the bait from all these protesters. He didn't, you know, come off topic. He talked about his economic policy, and he delivered a really, like, you know, presidential speech, and he did a great job.

But all I'm hearing in this is like, Trump, we're so proud of you. You didn't go pee-pees on the carpet. Like, you know know congratulations for not throwing feces in the crowd you fucking monkey like it one speech he doesn't go off the rails and that's newsworthy and it trump is a buffoon at this point he's a buffoon and i saw him interviewed by like cuomo or something some guy and uh he was like, all the media is talking about are these things. Why aren't they talking about this or that?

And he's like, well, maybe we would be if you didn't keep doing this. You know, if Trump didn't like give new red meat worth of dumb fuckery every day, then the media might be able to talk about Hillary. He's also under a much tighter lens from everyone than Hillary. There are so many examples of people trying to bring up shit about Hillary in interviews on CNN, on MSNBC, on pretty much any mainstream media and being shut down. Being, you know, oh, we're not going to talk about that. The fucking FBI already said the emails are fine they're fine he didn't say that if she

were anyone but ms clinton that they would have been prosecuted under the full extent of the law because it's against the rules like it's just weird to see in real time people retroactively looking back at this huge fucking problem that is the email shit and benghazi and whatnot and now just going oh it's all just trumped up nonsense like it's just it's all bullshit email shit and Benghazi and whatnot, and now just going, oh, it's all just trumped up nonsense. Like, it's just, it's all bullshit. Well, the Benghazi thing is a fair amount of bullshit, right? You get Republican guys. She did lie to the

mother of that girl. She lied to the mother of the, the way, I mean, we talked about the Khan and the Benghazi mom and the way that was handled differently by the media. You know, Trump says something about... By the media? Stop being a crybaby about... Like, all those Republicans I see...

Are you sh... No, no, hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold on. The media, everyone from every side criticized Trump for the way he handled that, as they should be. This isn't a round... This is not a defense of Trump. He's a buffoon. Hillary did something worse.

She lied to the mother of a victim and no one talks about it. No one talks about it. Just like they don't talk about Omar fucking Mateen behind her in the – well, I guess people are talking about that. They're just trying to pretend like it's not a big deal, the father of the Orlando shooter behind her. The context I see it is like Trump is up there saying, can you believe Omar Fateen was sitting behind her?

The people behind us, how many of you guys know me? They're all raising their hand and stuff. Meanwhile, this guy's got like a disgraced congressman, Foley, who sent like sexual pictures of himself to underage staffers. And that's why he had to resign. You've heard this story. And that guy's like, I know you're Trump, pedophile. Oh, come on. we all know a pedophile

we've all got an old uncle that got a little touchy back in the 80s with somebody or a a cousin who you know whose girlfriend was a little too young for whatever state he was and everybody's got a pedophile in the family i'm just saying if someone committed a hate crime like fucking dylan roof's dad that asshole who shot a bunch of black people in a church, if that guy's fucking dad was behind Trump at a rally, it would be top news. It would be trending on Twitter for days. It would be all people would talk about. Really? Because there's a pedophile behind him at a rally right now.

I'm talking about something directly tied to a huge media story. He's not a pedophile, though. What exactly did he do? I feel like you throw that pedophile tag around a lot. He sent sexual texts to 16-year-old boys that work for him. That's not a good thing, but if we're just going by levels of badness, is it worse to have someone behind you who sends dirty texts to 16-year-olds or someone behind you who is the father of someone who murdered almost 50 people, a hate crime, 50 gay individuals in Orlando for the sake of them being gay? I'd say it's a hugely different thing. I'd be with you if it was the guy guy but it was the father of the guy either of them i mean it's not really hillary or trump's fault that those people were back there it's probably some dumbass who was in it like the security guard let him in because they gave 20 bucks or

something it's probably those those people are placed back there and they go to the crowds and they select people because they want everyone represented you know they don't just go out there and go hey 60 white people up on the stage! They go, alright, you, you, you up on the stage, go up here, you go up on the stage. They pull people, and of course in the front row they have people who are closely connected with them. So either they selected this guy

thinking that it was, oh, this is a Muslim guy, let's make our fucking banner a little more colorful behind us, or they actively invited someone who they knew was the father of a terrorist who murdered 49 people for being gay either way the more likely the more likely story is the story that you first said where it's some security guard going or some you know what what do they call it like a an x a diversity a security guard that's trying to make the background look diverse like you know the trump when they go find the one black guy and they make them but but i'm saying like that on either side whether it's the

pedophile or the father of the terrorist like i think it's unfair to blame hillary or donald trump for those things you know i mean to me the whole thing's a non-non-story i think you're right again like i don't really you know i think that at the dnC they had a lot of people come up that people were scratching their heads about why this person or that person were there. They're making this statement about, you didn't catch this? Same with the RNC. Yeah, well, okay. I just want examples.

The thing that I didn't like at the DNC was that, yeah, okay, so the thing that the DNC did is they bring out all these parents of... Mothers of the movement. Okay, yeah, all these parents of kids who have been shot by police basically. And one of them they bring out is the... What's his name? The Michael Brown or

Freddy Gray? Whichever the one who was like, who just robbed a place and then was walking down the... Michael Brown. His mom's there, like mixed in with that mix. And so you gotta be like, that guy was actually a criminal. Like, we got to the bottom of this, determined that that guy was a criminal who just had committed a crime, who was in commission of another crime, who was suspected of some other crimes.

And when he started talking to police, like, he charged him and attacked him. Like, got five eyewitnesses, four of them are black. Like, black judge, black prosecutors and shit. Like, that's a bad guy that the police had to kill. Five eyewitnesses, four of them are black, black judge, black prosecutors and shit. That's a bad guy that the police had to kill. You might as well wheel out the mother or the father of that guy they had to blow up in Dallas a couple weeks ago. Let's get him out there. There's a black man who was killed by police too.

If that's the only thing that it takes to get up there, let's get his mom up there. I agree with you on that one. It didn't make any sense. The Ferguson guy was bad. To come back and agree with wax a bit like at it really isn't a huge deal because i really do think what happened is that one of her people went into the crowd and said ah a brown person put them up there you know who cares who they are it's all about what they are because that's what we capitalize on i think it's we don't know who he is all we know about him we don't know who he is and we don't need to know we We only care that he's not white. They're doing five of these things every day.

You know what I mean? Every day they're speaking, and they're taking a jet from Iowa to Illinois to Connecticut and doing these rallies every day. So it's just like you said. They're not doing background checks on everybody sitting back there. Yeah, it's mostly a non-story, but I was just trying to draw the point that if trump had done this exact same thing even the same person if trump had done that it would be breaking it would be huge it would be gigantic it would be capitalized on everywhere and for some reason like it it just doesn't go the other way i don't think so i don't think so like like i i look at the news on the left is at least based in like what's happening you know if you look at msnbc they'll be like

trump said this about the second amendment and i think that that's bad you know i think he went too far with that the suggestion is shoot the guy taking you down shoot hillary just you know take down the tyrannical government? Like, one of those. I don't know what he says, what he means when he says, Second Amendment people could do something about this. He's not talking about voting. If you're a Second Amendment guy, you know that he's not talking about voting. Sometimes I don't get these codes.

That's a code I'm locked in on. He's not talking about voting. Yeah, agreed. But on the right they will literally invent shit out of nowhere you know like obama will shake hands with china's leader or something and they'll be like can you believe you know how he was subservient to him and well i mean look they won't do that but when he goes and like bows to a bunch of saudi sheiks they'll do it because he does he goes he bows and it looks of Saudi sheiks, they'll do it because he does.

He goes and he bows, and it looks bad. And then he gives that speech in Japan that seems a bit apologetic. They'll point out things like that. And, of course, they'll be like, and Obama takes his 178th golf outing of his career this week. Here's a better example. When Obama first took office, he sat in the Oval Office without wearing his suit jacket, right? first took office, he sat in the Oval Office without wearing his suit jacket. Right? Oh my god!

Suddenly he's disgracing the job because he's not wearing his jacket in the Oval Office. Meanwhile, dozens of pictures of Bush. Right? People don't wear their suit jackets all day long when they're at work. Right? That's not a thing that's expected. But when Obama did it,

suddenly, like, oh my god, he's turned the White House into a ghetto i don't remember that one oh i don't either and i really don't like i was gonna say this this this thing we're talking about goes so many different ways like first first of all the reason that trump makes some headlines that hillary doesn't is because hillary's boring and trump is fun to watch second of all uh as far as like the way we depict certain people i'd like to i'd like to imagine what would happen if when obama was running he went up there with his five kids shit a fucking plane's going over me hold on hold on getting bombed over there it's five kids from three different wives

that were all models i'd like to see what they would have said about obama if that would have happened they know they've never used the phrase baby daddy or baby mama once when talking about trump they've never said that and i guarantee you if obama had the same family circumstances as donald trump that fucking fox news would say baby daddy baby mama all the fucking time that's true that i totally agree with you i'm not saying that it's a the right is justice and the left is evil like it's way more nuanced than that i just think that the whole media is shitty and they're all going to drum up stories because they all want eyes they want views

that's where they make their money from advertisers and so they're going to pander to whoever they think is best fox news is going to pander to the right msnbc cnn going to pander a little more to the left msnbc in the case of way more to the left it's just the way it is. But it's not ignorable that the media gives way more preference to Hillary every step of the way. Every step of the way. I think she's just boring, man. She is boring. How could you stand out with a sign like, go Hillary, I'm excited about, like, she's so fucking boring. That's why nobody cares, because nobody cares. Like, people are going

to vote for her because she's not Donald Trump. You know what I mean? That's what both camps seem to be doing. They're voting one way because that person isn't the other person. Everybody seems to hate both of them. See, I disagree a little. There's more hate for Hillary than there is love for Trump. I think they're voting for and against Trump.

Hillary is just – you could replace her with Donald Duck. They're voting for or against Trump. I disagree with that. There are a lot of people who have such a hate for her, a very strong hate, and it goes back to the 90s. This isn't a new thing. There are 60-year-old men who hate Hillary, who have been hating Hillary since they were 40-year-old men because of her policies and the things she said publicly. She is hated through a big slice of America. And it's not just a Second Amendment thing, but that is a big part of it. She's been so staunchly anti-gun and in a way that really strikes a lot of people as anti-constitutional.

Like she really seems, the things she says are outrageous, particularly holding the manufacturers responsible for something that a maniac does with their gun you can say that hey we don't want assault rifles being sold like flapjacks and yeah you'll you do a poll and 60 or 70 percent will say yeah i don't want assault rifles being sold like flapjacks either but they're not being sold like flapjacks it's not easier to get a book than it or to get a glock than it is a book like obama said uh about a month and a half ago that's all bullshit so it it's easy to agree with the the assault weapon stuff but when she starts talking about the manufacturers being held legally responsible that's absurd that that's like uh you know i like to draw the the the comparison with

with motor vehicles you know you don't hold ford responsible when that maniac in france ran all those people down uh a few weeks back like no one even for an instant started talking about how to how to regulate u-haul rentals or how to to make those trucks have less horsepower or or smaller tires or to make them have lower grills so they can be stopped easier none of that bullshit we didn't hear any of that. Maybe on the front we could have a big scoop with a mattress in it. Like none of that. No, there were no, there were no like truck safeties being invented in it. Then there's nobody talking about holding anybody responsible other than the guy who's dead. On PKN, did we watch the terrorist fish jab video?

Did you remember when Obama fist bumped with his wife? Yeah. Okay, so what happened was at the – we could watch the video too. At the DNC conference, right? It's 2008. He and his wife do this like fist bump thing. All right, cool. Fox News reports on it.

They're like, what is this? Some people are calling it a fist bump. Some people call it a pound. Some people call it terrorist pound. Some people call it a terrorist fist jab. Right? Here's our body language expert to talk about Obama's terrorist fist jab with Michelle.

And it's like, that is horseshit. And you can say, like, oh, the left and the right, they both say their own things. No, man. No. It's exclusively Fox News who completely invents stories out of bullshit. Like when you call Obama a terrorist out of a fist bump, right? That's, you know, the left at least is saying like, ah, you know, I don't like what this guy's doing here.

This war is being run incompetently. This policy is skewed towards this party that helps. The right will completely invent shit. And there's a huge difference to me. And everyone likes to say, you know, it's all even. There's two sides to every story. No, sometimes

there's a right and a wrong. There's often two sides to every story. Sometimes you have a truth and a liar. Sometimes. I'm not talking about this media anymore. But sometimes you've got a guy telling the truth and you've got a guy telling a lie. And, you know, say all the two sides to every story,

sometimes the liar's lying. And, you know, anyway. And sometimes there are two liars lying. Yeah, for sure. That's what I think it is. Because both sides invent shit out of thin air. They do.

It's just easier to target Fox for it. I'll have to fucking look around and find good stuff. Just like I would have had to look around and find good stuff on Fox News if I was trying to condemn them as well, because I'm not a Fox News fan. I'll watch a clip online if it's someone that's interesting but i'll do the same for fucking cnn it's just and i do think that cnn does fall in the middle not like moderate i do think they skew left but that is because i skew right so that could be my perception problem but i certainly think it's acceptable to say that fox news is way to the right and msnbc is way to the left. I think that's how a lot of people think about it. And I agree with you.

I think that CNN is definitely left of center. I don't feel that CNN is in the center at all. I feel like they're definitely left of center. Fox News is definitely right, and MSNBC is so far left that they're almost some sort of— A little left of Stalin. Yeah, I feel it. Hello, comrades, and welcome to MSNBC. Wheat production was up 8%

in the Western fold. Their employees in the cafeteria waiting to breadline. Everybody at MSNBC makes the same amount of money. That's funny. Yeah,'s funny yeah yeah the most Conrad Sanders tell us more about your plans Fox News is just like like they're so so blatant and silly like and my favorite thing about Fox News is how

David they changed the game with like a woman has to be like really hot like now if you watch CNN like they're that chick's always on the end and her legs are out. Me and my roommate, we fall for that shit. We're like, damn, let's watch CNN some more. Fox News changed the game in many ways. Some could argue bad ways, you know what I mean? Fox News is amazing. Stern's pointed this out before he like like he

only watches Fox News and he'll be talking about the newest hot chick that's on there and they'll look into it they're like like it's just go to communication school is she a journalist is an editor for for some local newspaper what did she do what she oh she was a kickboxing and Pilates instructor that explains that body all right let's hear about the middle east come on let's see if you guys any of you guys in california by any chance no wait in south i've lived in southern california for like a decade now and in san both in san diego and los angeles and what you're talking about is true for the meteorologists here on local news

oh yeah if you watch the weather yeah because the weather's fucking nice every day there's nothing to report where i'm from in on the east coast like the meteorologist is he went to school for that shit like you like he's gonna tell you if it's gonna rain or not here it's like the same thing it's like kickboxing instructor now you're the weather girl because you gotta have you seen i she's definitely spanish mexico weather woman the mexican weather woman and The Mexican weather woman. And she's like facing you and she's very pretty. And she's wearing a really tight dress. And she's got a great figure.

And then she turns sideways to like point at the fucking weather. And it's like boom! Boom! Like she's got a huge perfect butt. She's a perfect specimen. Right? You guys have heard me use this thing before. If aliens came to Earth and they wanted to just come down and pick up a perfect specimen, right? You guys have heard me use this thing before. If aliens came to Earth and they wanted to just come down and pick up a perfect specimen,

they might leave with that Mexican weather. Very symmetrical. Her measurements would be perfect. I don't know what they are, but that's a good look. She's somehow involved in phase? Are you familiar with this? Phase what? I don't know how far

it goes. I watched this. So the Phase clan, the sniper clan, the Call of Duty guys, whatever. One of them, it might be Phase Rain, but don't lock in that because I could be wrong on which one it is. But he tweeted her, and they went out on a date or something. And then I watched a video recently saying that they were together for a while, but it a youtube video so you know it's right there on the internet it must be true but yeah she somehow corresponded and at least met up with the phase guy uh for at least one date i don't know uh how serious they got but i think that's uh how much yeah i i think that my my think that in my head, the way it plays out is he tweeted her. She saw how many followers he had.

I know, I know, I know. She saw how many followers he had and thought, oh, this would probably be mutually beneficial. And they got together and had dinner or something like that. So I don't know. And they got together and had dinner or something like that. So I don't know. People watch my show where I tell them it's going to be 72 and sunny until September. Her name is Yannette Garcia, Y-A-N-E-T Garcia. And she's the finest girl of all time.

We're all a very big fan of her and her weather. I bet she knows and her weather. Dude, finest girl of all time was in the Rosanna video we watched before the show. This girl is finer, dude. No offense if that girl ever hears this. In my head, that's your girlfriend. So don't pop that bubble for me, all right? Never made it to that level. Never did that.

That's like a common thing when you watch rap videos. I guess in the 80s with hair metal, it ended up being true a lot. The video chick would end up being the girlfriend of the guy in the band. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know that the dude from Whitesnake, that chick with the red hair that was in that video, was his girl. I don't know if that's too old of a reference for y'all or not. Here I go again on my own.

You think it was because of nagging? Like just got nagged to the point that they had to put him in the video? I think it was budgetary. And it was probably, like, maybe that's how he got her as his girlfriend. If I'm in a band back then and music videos are what they were then. Before it was

a huge thing and now it's not that big of a thing anymore. It doesn't seem that way, at least as far as production values. We're not seeing too many Michael Jackson thriller type videos anymore, but I feel like you could be like, hey, you ladies want to be in a music video? Right. Right.

Yeah. Can you dance? Not really. Well, doesn't matter. Come on. It doesn't matter. We have a very short sense. In a music video, if you're on MTV in the 80s and 90s, that means every fucking buddy sees it.

Now, even if you're a star and you have a music video, even if you're like the chick in a Chris Brown music video, you're still on YouTube. You know what I mean? Who's the girl that got made by being in Bruce was it Courtney Cox no it's it's that Rajowski chick that's from Blurred Lines is what did it Blurred Lines oh my god she is a fuck she is perfection yeah yeah she's always taking like these full body nudes

and and at first you're like yeah it's kind of weird that she puts full body nudes on Instagram but then you're like but she's perfect in absolutely every way it'd be a crime if she didn't she's one of those chicks where like you see a beautiful woman sometimes and you're like i hope that she's like taking a lot of nude pictures and like storing them away in the archives for posterity and one day she can be like look at my titties back in the and you just just so someone could experience it and i and i'm glad that i I think her name is Emily Rajowski. Emily Radigowski. Yeah, some fucking...

Yeah, yeah. It's a long last name. But when you see her, you'll know. Because every inch is perfect. And she's very beautiful, too. I've often made that argument for, like, hot women at Halloween. Right? Like, look, you don't want to slut it up every day.

That's going to impact your life. But it is socially acceptable to do that on Halloween. And it's your obligation to mankind to do so. And to yourself. You need to be like, yeah, yeah, I know. I was a good kid and everything. But look at me as a naughty nurse, right? Look, here's my French maid costume when I was 21.

And, you know, boom. Do it. Slut it up for Halloween, women. It makes Halloween better. Yeah, it really does. You'll be happy those pictures exist. and you know to boom do it slut it up for halloween women it's uh it makes halloween better yeah it really does you'll be happy those pictures exist and if anyone's like dude you were a slut say yeah it's halloween yeah let me uh let me let me slip in a uh an ad read here we just want everyone to remember that this episode of painkiller already is being brought to you by squarespace when you use squ, your sites will look professionally designed

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for that like it you could just drag and drop your way to solve all these problems, but instead he's out on his own and he doesn't have it done yet. And really wishing that he'd used offer code PKA for 10% off Squarespace. Yeah. So anyway, trying to get my friends and family on

Squarespace because it really would solve his freaking problem. It's just a friendly way to be. You know? It just works. All all joking aside don't invent that shit yourself it's already been invented yeah the work's been done take advantage of it yeah all right any topics um i'm trying to think i see all i have is has anybody seen suicide squad in the last two days since we know i feel like everybody's saying it's bad and and like i know that there are going to be people who defend it staunchly and you know my my thoughts about it are this i it's not it's definitely based on what i've heard not going to be worthy of going and spending $45 in tickets and all the other expenses

that are attached to that. Because when I watch a movie, I go to IMAX and that trip in itself is like a $200 trip between dinner and driving there and everything. And I don't mind that. I do it every couple weeks to watch a movie or two. But I'm not going to do it for this movie. I'm going to go watch fucking Star Trek. I'm going to watch Jason Bourne or I'm going to watch

Sausage Party, the new Seth Rogen Pixar movie with all the grocery store items. And the premise of that movie is that all these grocery store items are like living their Pixar friendly lives in the store. Like, hey, Mr. Sausage. Hi, Mrs. Lettuce. Everybody's having a great time. And they believe that eventually they'll be purchased and go on to an afterlife and that's where they're going to be happy and in some other realm after they're purchased and so then all of these friendly condiments and fruits and veggies and stuff get purchased and they go to a person's home and then that night the lady cooks dinner and she's dicing mrs carrot up and like skinning mr potato and he's just like as she skins him alive and they watch on in horror

and everybody knows the next night it's fucking spaghetti mr tomato you're going down bag of pasta you're going down and they're all like fucking their minds are blown so they're trying to like escape or get away and that's the premise of this r-rated pixar type animation uh comedy that seth rogan just made and it's got tons of big name actors. Selma Hayek plays a taco, which is perfect. I think Kristen Wiig is in it, I think. I hope I'm not getting

that wrong. I like her a lot. It's going to be really cool. It looks like a fucked up toy story. I didn't know it was rated R, and I was watching the trailer with Colin. And even in the trailer, it's like, take the laptop away. Like, this is not a children's – it looks like a children's movie, but it's not for kids. It looks great.

Apparently, like, one of the cartoon characters had hair on his balls, and they had to take that away to prevent an NC-17 rating. It was on the edge, on the cusp of being NC-17 rating. It was on the edge of being NC-17. I like that he had balls and all. Yeah, that's my next film I'm going to watch. But there's a lot of good stuff out there that isn't Suicide Squad. Suicide Squad is going to be one I wait and I rent for $6 a few months from now, like I just did with Terminator. I knew Terminator Genisys wasn't going to be that great. I didn't bother spending the money in theaters, and then I watched it last night for free on Amazon Prime. I'm excited about the DC

universe, right? When I hear about Suicide Squad, Batman, Superman, all these things, Aquaman, the Justice Heroes stuff coming out, I am very much interested in giving it a chance. But, you can't just push out bad product after bad product and hope that people are going to watch

your stuff like they do the marvel universe things like you know you're you got to make your movies actually good and i will be happy to watch both dc and marvel you know i love it both i'm fine with that but you know don't don't release the ghostbusters like shit and then expect me to buy it just cause DC's on it. Yeah, absolutely. Like, like if they want to make me watch a cyborg movie,

they're going to have to really convince me. They're going to have to pick good actors. They're going to pick good supporting actors and they got to have a story. And I hate that, that I hate, hate, hate that they, that what DC keeps doing is going back to the beginning and showing us how

Bruce Wayne's mother and father got shot and how Superman had to evacuate Krypton. It's like stop with the origin stories. These are the most popular, best-known characters and properties on the planet. It'd be like you stopping at the beginning of a Mickey Mouse movie and be like, okay, so he's a cartoon mouse and he likes to get up to hijinks. Like, no, stop. We know who fucking mickey is you don't have to like clue us in on like him as a little mouse and like growing up with mick mouse you don't have to start with steamboat willie and work your way from there you can

no i don't need to know that he used to be a boat captain that doesn't pertain to this current story like just all i need to know and and i i hate when exposition is sloppy, when there's narration that doesn't add to the plot of the movie. It really irks me. Not that I'm some expert on filmmaking, but man, the Marvel movies make me feel good when I watch them. Even the lesser Marvel movies like Guardians of the Galaxy, which is still a B+, for sure. I feel it's fun.

I'm watching Star-Lord skip around wearing that mask and stuff and singing to himself and i'm just like this is fun this is good and i don't know especially suicide squad it really felt like i won't i'm not giving anything away but like the concept of it is so cool of like we're gonna get a bunch of badass motherfuckers we're gonna put them together and then use them like a weapon of just mayhem and destruction and they'll just point them in a direction and they cause mischief over there and it was like an hour and 15 minutes into the movie they realized like oh shit like we were really thinking that just this concept was going to get us through this and so they had to start like inventing things out of whole cloth and it's very disappointing you said marvel uh or uh guardians

of the galaxy b plus i give it an a because i think that's a great movie just it's really good i feel like it's down to a b plus because some not all the event the first avengers and the last avengers movie are so good uh the captain america stuff is so good the iron man uh properties except for iron man 3 are all so good like it's even some even the thor movie was really good it it's it's hard for guardians to exist up with them without getting squeezed down it's definitely better than most of the dc stuff and i'm excited like i don't know how it's going to translate to to to us in the theater but i know they're shooting the new Guardians 2 in 8K.

Obviously, there aren't very many 8K projector screen theaters, but the way they downgraded it, I think it's still going to be a better quality product than if they didn't shoot it in 8K. And future-proof. And future-proof big time. New topic?

I never saw I didn't see Suicide Squad I'm so I'm not up on that shit I don't know Wax copyright talk how do you feel when people use your songs like in

do you feel robbed I don't know it depends on the situation like you know there's a lot there's a lot of times where somebody will be like yo can i use your song for this this project i did or this this video i did and you'll look and that you know their videos have 50 views average and you're just like yeah just just credit me you know what i mean uh-huh you know then occasionally you'll, like, an actual placement that involves business people, you know, and then you'll kind of try to get some money out of it,

you know what I mean? Yeah. I don't get too many placements, though. I've only had a few. On PKA, usually we're, I don't want to speak for everyone, but when it's a fragment, when someone, like, I don't know, thought a little piece of it was super funny and they upload it, I feel like it just sells the product, you know? Yeah.

Talk about PKA far and wide. You want to make a montage of your favorite, you know, Taylor moments or something. I've never had a problem with that when they reupload the whole thing that I feel like you took my product. Like, no, you can't just reupload my show and stick it on your channel too. Like that's not cool at all. Have you felt like that of fragments versus like because if like if let's say hypothetically i use a big wax song right not that would ever happen you know in the near future but there's like

table saws bursting underneath it at like you know lowered volume no one's gonna like get your song from me maybe i one thing i do a lot is i uh i'll like play a song and then lower the song's volume a ton while i talk but just so it kind of exists and then when we get back to non-talking parts i raise the volume again like again i've ruined any listenability like no one's gonna take my part of it and listen to it in the car and uh i'm like is that the only concern though like like isn't there also the fact that you are utilizing it to your benefit regardless of its playback value that's true yeah i mean i think it depends it's a very situation by

situation basis you know what i mean it's that it depends on depends on how you use it and you know how much money you're making off of it You know cuz I'm not gonna hire a lawyer to get get your hundred bucks or you know, I mean like Now I wasn't saying you right right Not I have you been friends. Have you been like cuz I remember years and years ago Wings was a huge fan of what you do and your music were you how long have you been doing this professionally where it's been your job like being a musician and a youtube kind of guy like how how long has that been my last real job was 2009 so seven seven

years good for you it's kind of evolved it's kind of evolved to the point where youtube is at first youtube was a big a big percentage of my income and now it's not. It's evolved to the – most of my money comes from selling T-shirts and Spotify revenue and iTunes money and then shows and then random shit. Recently, a song I did six years ago got picked up for an ABC commercial, and I made a good little bit of... That's what's cool about doing music, is if you make something, it doesn't go away. It lives forever. So somebody might randomly pick it up later on. People become

a fan. Just like with your guys' podcast, there's somebody who's never heard of you every day that hears you for the first time and becomes a fan. You know what I mean? Yeah, who are those motherfuckers? I know we address you guys every now and then. So anyone who doesn't know all of us intimately here's the deal who are you if you're somebody who's watching this for the first time how the fuck did you get here hey so you're two hours over two hours into our uh our discussion here you have no idea who

any of us are how did you get here and why i want to know i gotta why have you stuck around if you don't know who we are? Yeah, right? Because I wouldn't listen to four random white guys just pander to each other. Someone asked me, like, Woody, do you ever watch the show? Do you find it boring or whatever? Sometimes I find myself watching PKA, and I actually like PKA. I do too. I'll be like, I can see.

You know why, though? Go on. I got to say, like, I really put a lot of thought into this. Why is it that I can watch a conversation that I had yesterday and it's entertaining? It's got to be some sort of vanity thing. It's got to be. I knew it was going to be. It's got to be us. Because I bet you're looking at you the whole time.

You're looking at your own face. And you're like, what I do is I watch me. I watch me the whole time. I get inside my own head and see if i can predict what i'm about to say because i don't remember like like i'm just out here kind of like riding by the seat of my pants i'm not thinking about what i'm saying ever on this show so like the next day i've forgotten it all and so i'm like in my own head like trying to predict what i'll say or then like you know if we tell a joke or something i'm like looking at

you to see like if you what your reaction is to something looking at taylor like like really and not just looking but really looking like reading yeah reading like i'm looking at eyeballs and like how a glance will go left or right i'm looking at like how people are breathing and stuff that i enjoyed that part of it but it's not vanity for me like i i actually enjoy this show like i'll watch it through and when i'm not like you know participating in it it's a much more relaxed kind of like feet on the table thing and i'm it's like you know what like i actually i'm kind of sucked into this thing i can see why someone would get engaged in a show like this it's funny to me and then the funny moments are funny and they you know the insightful moments are'm like, yeah, that was pretty good.

I didn't know anything about eels in the butt. I've watched the compilation videos of myself at least three times a piece. Like, just watching it like, yeah, this guy's pretty fucking good. Just totally, totally narcissistic sitting there. And it's also very flattering

to see shit like that because you know at least one person cared enough to sift through all of the 98 of garbage i said to find the the diamond in the rough and then put it together and then other times like what are you saying like or like you kyle saying that you don't even know what you said like sometimes people will post stuff like oh taylor seemed really wrong about politics XYZ at an hour and 58 minutes and 21 seconds. And I'll be like, I'll bet. And I click it and it's like, yep, yeah, I was pretty off base on that. Like, it's just the way it goes. But it's good like that.

Yeah. I like it. I have a topic. Sure. And sometimes people write to me for advice and stuff. And I don't know. I guess it just depends on the topic. I know Chiz hates it when I do this because there's a Patreon level where you can ask questions.

And I'm sure this guy didn't do that. But I've been struggling with this. I've sat on it for maybe two days now. And I don't know how to answer them. So I'm going to read this. It's one paragraph, but it should probably be about three, so call it 60 seconds. Hey Woody, I'd like to thank you

for the things you've done for your fan base. Your videos in large part motivated me to turn my shit around. This time since last year I dropped 40 pounds, starting from 200. I picked up my grades, even got a paid internship at a local animation studio, invested in Canada's equivalent of the S&P 500, et cetera, et cetera.

Tangent aside, I'm a, I don't want to get too, like, I don't want people to figure out who it is. So he's an older teenager wrapping up high school. And the title says, my parents found out about my condoms. A side effect of losing 40 pounds gave me the balls to ask the girl out I've had a crush on for years. We're in a committed relationship, and I don't treat the responsibility of sex lightly. We've been dating for months, and we really love each other. My parents have absolutely lost their minds over this. They want me to break up with my girlfriend, the girl whom they'd adored until this. Go to church counseling and relegate me. Your favorite pussies. Hang in there.

I'm halfway. And relegate me to my home for the rest of the summer. They're treating me like I've lost any, I'm sorry, they're treating like they've lost any emotional bond with me and it really hurts. I've asked my buddies about this and they gave me the typical tell your parents offline, which would work great in a strict uber religious household. Sarcasm. Never thought I'd be writing to a personal idol of mine with a question like this,

but from everything I've seen, you're a level-headed, intelligent person who might have some insight. Ah, I hate shitty parents like that. Yeah, any advice would be great. In short, I don't want to do damage to my relationship with my parents or my girlfriend. So, like, he's being responsible.

He's doing what he should do and he's got some some shitty religious overly religious parents who are trying to push it they're gonna try to like i don't know what they want like they're gonna obviously they're preaching abstinence right which we all know works so fucking well it's it's the stupidest thing possible look you you're a good looking guy. You worked hard to be good looking. I appreciate that you did that. You sound like you really have your ducks in a row here and you're a great guy and you're going to do great things after this because of this control you've taken in your life. So bravo to you.

Perfect. You're going to be away from your parents very soon and you're going to find that your trajectory is going to outmatch theirs because their mindset is probably limiting them in many ways that they don't even see. And this is one way they're trying to limit you with their own ignorances and viewpoints that clearly probably just don't pertain to you and aren't going to pertain to you in your adult life. So if you can get through the next six months or whatever until you go off to school or whatever's coming soon, that'd be great. But telling them off isn't going to help anything. It's just not because they're

rooted into their religion very deeply, it seems. I don't know what my answer is for you, but you're not doing anything wrong. Hide your condoms. Hide your girlfriend if you need to. Take your girlfriend to church. Maybe they'll feel good about that. And then take her in the back of the church and rail her so fucking hard over the pew like just over the pew make like while you look at

Jesus because like he's the one who made it feel so good there's nothing wrong with it just I'm actually I identify as a sacra sexual I can only get an erection in holy places. I gotta have a crucifix up my daughter. I just can't get it going. If I'm not Eiffel Towering with Jesus, then, you know, they just... If I'm not 20 yards away from a confession

point, I just feel guilty. We made the capital letter A. I need the priest jerking off in the corner. In all seriousness, dude, yeah, Kyle hit the nail on the fucking head you're doing the right thing having safe sex and your parents aren't being malicious they just are wrong and don't listen to your idiot friends who are like just tell them off because there's always that guy in your group of friends in high school who's like oh your parents said you can't come

out this weekend like dude if that was my parents i would have been like fuck you mom you're a fucking whore and i'm gonna going to do what I want. And it's like, who at the time, like, you're like, wow, maybe Billy really is just a, you know, Billy badass over here. No, that doesn't happen. None of your friends are going home, and you're like, how's your day, sweetie? Fucking horrible bitch. Why even ask me? Like, no, they're like trying to put an air out there that they're hard-ass, know motherfuckers who are running the house when they get home but no if they got in trouble for the same thing and they were like

you can't use your fucking car because we found condoms in your room they'd be like oh mummy i'm so sorry i don't even know what they're for i was just making animals with balloons like just nonsense they were good for that or uh never tried or those people's parents just suck and don't care about their kids you know what i mean i think my advice would be to this guy I think where he went wrong is a bit it's a very simple answer and it kind of is exactly what Kyle said but uh you just need a better hiding place man you need to be a better a better condom hider you know and if you they want to break up with your girlfriend fucking fucking lie to your parents man tell them tell them broke up fucking just lie

dude yeah it's I mean unless unless you're super into the religion too But I'm not gonna be hey hey here's one I have on some book that was written about whether I can fuck a girl or not I don't know they don't like your girlfriend. Tell them you've been thinking about your friend John He's a pretty good-looking guy ask him how they'd like it if you had a boyfriend He's a pretty good looking guy. Ask him how they'd like it if you had a boyfriend. But let him know that you're gonna need some Magnum condoms because John's really packing some heat. And they'll be like, we can Becky come over. Yeah, yeah, tell her to bring some lube. Billy wants to hang out with her.

They flip the script real quick if you were leaning toward being a homosexual or showing some signs of that. Whether they're true or not. I bet they would really go the other way real quick if you were uh if you were leaning toward being a homosexual or showing some signs of that whether they're true or not i bet they would really uh go the other way real quick if that happened in seriousness i don't see an easy answer to this guy i want to answer because he did ask me i he wants to maintain his relationship with both his parents and his girlfriend and it seems like that's not in the books you know it if i was his parents i would look at this guy and be like dude he's 17 right next year he's moving out uh if he's going to college if he's not going to college he might still move out you know who knows and if they can't like if you really want to put the fucking handcuffs on this guy until the day he moves out

then prepare for him to slut the fuck up the day he moves out, then prepare for him to slut the fuck up the day he moves out. You know, it's going to be strip clubs and all sorts of things that his parents wouldn't like if they don't ease in the responsibilities at 17. Shit. It's, I don't know. I wish he could have a conversation

with his parents along those lines. Like, it's time to start. What state does this guy live in? You know, I don't know. I wish he could have a conversation with his parents along those lines. Like, it's time to start. What state does this guy live in? I don't know. Oh, he said Canada. Oh, I was about to be like, hey, when you turn 18, like, let's go have some fun. Let's go, like, take this guy on some awful, like, ridiculous, extravagant, like, Vegas experience to, like, piss off his parents. He's got to go to Quebec.

Yeah. That ain to go to Quebec. Yeah. That ain't going to work. I don't know. If he has a conversation and says, look, this cork has already popped, but you need to know I don't take it lightly. I'm doing this responsibly. I love both you and her, and I don't want it to end.

Maybe they'll just accept it. In all seriousness, the best advice is not, don't sacrifice your relationship with your parents for the sake of this high school girlfriend is also something to really keep in mind. Your parents are going to be there for you for years. I'm assuming that this is a normal parent relationship

where they're just religious, and they really do think they're doing the best thing by saying, hey, don't be having sex before you're married, and whatnot. They're not being malicious and abusive. They just are misinformed. So, you you know don't throw that relationship with your parents out the window for a girl that quite frankly once you do get to college you probably won't be that interested in unless this really is a crazy one-off unless you're that one in a hundred yeah yeah it happens it happens yeah yeah i'm not saying it can't But let's all call it the 1 in 100

The 1% chance that they stay together Through 4 years of college Don't trash your relationship with your parents I don't know I still think talking to them and letting them know That you're serious about her And you're serious about being responsible And that they shouldn't think less of you

You already did it man You're already going to hell, so just go the fuck to hell. You know what I mean? You can't take it back, man. I think if they're trying to protect your virginity, they're going to realize they lost that game. Score's posted.

At this point, they just need to make sure that you're responsible. If you let them know they're winning that game, then you might have something. Did you guys have born-again virgins that you knew? Is that a term that you guys are familiar with? I am very familiar with it. I know exactly what's up. I've never met one, though.

I have. And it is the weirdest kind of cognitive dissonance I have ever seen, where someone, usually it's someone who didn't just like, oh, I had sex once and I fucked up I'm gonna go so basically what it is is someone who had sex before marriage and then they'll go and say to their priest or their pastor or something it'll go through like a prayer or whatnot not like a

specific prayer but they'll just like go through a ritual of like well are you ready to recommit your life to Christ can't tell you how many times I heard that in my life ready to recommit your life to Christ it's like I haven't fucking committed in the first place i can't re-up i never bought the subscription to the magazine but they basically go and then they'll say like oh i'm a born again virgin like i've had sex but that's not the way i am anymore and these people either never bring it up or they always bring it up as a way to have like a weird kind of moral high

ground against people who are currently having sex where it's like you Cindy sue you were fucking tons of guys way before this girl in college and now you're the one with like the fucking you know pillar of moral fortitude looking down on her like you you just did it at a different time like how are you better I saw another fortune post with that horse that I would be like get the fuck out You just did it at a different time. Like, how are you better? I saw the greatest 4chan post. Get the fuck out of here with that horse shit. I would be like, get the fuck out. Because some dude fucking said a prayer.

You've never fucked all those dudes. Get the fuck off your high horse. Just hearing that pissed me off for some reason. Yeah. I saw the 4chan post. That was the funniest thing to me. So his girlfriend had this really weird philosophy about cheating. Sorry. Thank you.

So her deal was, basically, if she had done that with you, then she wouldn't do that with other guys. Wait, who was saying this? A 4chan Anon guy, right? You know, Anon said it. So here's the scoop. Let's say she fucks you, right?

Like, with her pussy. Now, if she were to do that with anyone else, that would be cheating. But, if she blows the guy, or gives him the ass, that's not cheating. Because she and her boyfriend had never done that, right? So, and he's legit asking

4chan for advice, like, is this weird? Do other people have this same philosophy? That, yeah, That, yeah. Like, yeah. So, you know. That's a new one for me. I've never heard of that.

Yeah. Only that one whore came up with that system. I know. I'm actually. They call it the whore system. They go by holes like grades. I'm a stage three virgin. All three holes, you know, untouched.

And I'm a stage one virgin. I'm slowly, you know, giving it away. But, like. Yeah. The way she went. Like like if she blew her boyfriend then she could fuck other guys and not cheat because that hole hadn't been boyfriend dedicated yet

wow you gotta go back there and smash a champagne bottle on every fucking hole like this is ridiculous alright that one's mine too like come on every square inch of that girl. Give her no outs.

Because she's a crafty motherfucker. She's giving guys foot jobs in the park. She's letting guys fuck her armpit in the deli. She's like, you never fucked my armpit once. There's some hairy Polish guy behind her. It's not so bad. And then you gotta just be like,

well, alright, and stand next to him and fuck your other armpit, just as a, you know, set that precedent. I'm marking my territory now then! And after this, we're gonna have a serious conversation about what other areas to fuck a black button. Armpit fucking. Alright, on that, should I,

should I, I probably shouldn't transition from armpit fucking to an ad, so let's, let's so let's talk about something else for a moment. Unless it's a deodorant company. And then go to one. Because I feel like they come to check to see if we do our ads, and they're like, all right, click. And armpit fucking is the best. Now let me tell you a little bit about NatureBox. All right.

I got a topic there, so I'll put it on the big screen. Would you spin this? Yeah, sure. Yeah, I'd spin it. You did read it, right? I read it. That's only, what, an eighth of it? Yeah, 12.5%.

Yeah, seven-eighths of the time. Yeah, I'd spin that fucker. One of them is 500k 500k It's a head start in life, but you're not done Okay, I spin it a fucking game. Oh Really you gotta go to 25% chance. Okay a second time. I'd spin it a third fucking time I would okay, and here's what I'm hoping like I don't want it I want to be one of those things where if it hits the red, that it's

just like, boom, and it's over. I don't want Bob Barker to come out of the shadows in a Satan costume and be like, ah! Red it is! And the whole crowd goes, red, red, red, red! And they drag me out. Right.

Up against the wall. 13 women in bikinis with big lighters killing you very slowly Big way wax would you spin this nah? Hell no, I went did I don't mean to be fucking corny, but the greatest gift you have is your life. I wouldn't trade it for any... Fuck no. Yeah, just because you have $10 billion doesn't mean you're going to be happy. No.

It means that all the people I don't like will be unhappy, finally. You can't buy happiness, but you can rent it for a lifetime. You can buy a lot of unhappiness for those you don't care for though And that's what I'm going for in life. That's that's my motivating factor So I'll spin that fucker as many times as it takes yeah, I'd spin it what twelve and a half percent

Is that what you said eight one and eight eight ninety six point yeah? Yeah exactly so yeah? I'd spin it fucking 1 8th of the time you're not gonna make it That's that's better than if I just from then on if I swear up driving for the rest of my life i probably even out you know what i mean i feel like i shouldn't spin it now right like so i've had some good careers things are cool for me uh it is not worth the risk but like 21 year old woody where all this shit wasn't really figured out yet no dependence that's a tempting wheel. No dependents. There's a time in my life when you would have spun wax.

There's a time in your life when you would have spun wax? About the same time, 22, 21. Yeah, right? There's no promise of the future you've got now. There's no long tail on all these songs you've made. But I don't know, man. Fucking, you only get one life, man. Any risk like that. Got to go around. That'd be know, man. You know, fucking you only get one life, man. Any risk like that. Got to go around.

That'd be great, man. When that, you know, any dollar amount, really even half a million dollars would be, you know, just go do something cool with that. I like to think of money as like things you can do with it or purchase with it rather than just a dollar amount because that's not as attractive. But, you know, you see something like, let me pay attention here. So I did a thing. Just for fun. The big one was $10 billion? Oh, man, I didn't even notice that.

$10 billion. Oh, I think I pasted the year. Go there, right? And on the right, there'll be a random number between 1 and 100. Yeah. Click it. Make it 8? No, just click it and see if you get 12 or lower, 13 or lower.

85, I am in the green with a lot of dough. 65. 65? What are you getting, Wax? Random.org, where do you click to actually get the number? Top right, there's a box there. I got 50. 50?

Really? 50. I got 50 even. That seems a little bit like, that's weird. I got 80. So if I were to just look at this thing and assume the first 12 was the death, I think I got 100 million out of this.

Yeah, I think I got $1 billion. No, $10 billion. If you go through. And what we could do is like... I think I did too. Here's what I would agree with you guys, is we would all spin it one after

another, and we would split the money among the surviving members. Ah. I like that plan, because you only have 5 million. Yeah, you start calculating those odds, and all of a sudden this pie looks a lot nicer. Yeah, I mean, I think that we'd have to have a rule of like, alright,

when we get 50 50 that one of us isn't even gonna make it yeah but if you didn't like if we did it a smart way and we're like all right we start with the elder and he spins and then you know as soon as we get to 100 million we quit and split it you know enough to live your whole that's no fair you're gonna spin if i spin i'm not gonna spin till billion, and you take your quarter of it, and you're like, whoo, glad I didn't have to spend. No, no, if we get 20 billion, we'll get 20 billion, but you're just spending. Yeah, I love Mirka's plan.

Let's start with Woody, I'll go last, and we split the money. Why would that be? You would at once be that member in the plan as well, the safe one. I thought we started with the elder. If one of us gets the red we all get one leg cut off no no i don't play that game either kyle has a thing yeah he'd rather be dead than not have a leg yeah i get that i get that would you rather be dead or not have a leg i'd rather not have a leg but i certainly get especially a quick shot to the head or a quick

beheading or a fucking or just take a bunch of heroin and they'll throw you off a building or something. Ooh! Dinner and a show. I have a friend who had her foot amputated and she says now that's the best thing that ever happened to her. She had a club foot before?

Unless she has an extra foot, then I seriously doubt that. I think she's dating a pervert. She had a foot and she got in... Her circumstances, she had extra foot, then I seriously doubt that. I think she's dating a pervert. Her circumstances, she had a foot. She had everything. She had a normal human body. Okay. She got into a motorcycle accident, and her ankle got all crushed.

And for 10 years trying to heal it, she was in pain for 10 years. And she had addiction problems and just constant pain. And she had to do like 30 different surgeries. And then one day they cut it. They just amputated her foot and the pain went away. And now she has a prosthetic limb and she's learned to use it. Now she works with people with prosthetic limbs. She says her life is better than it's ever been.

It's more rewarding than it ever was before. Did she have your back together before? You were going to say okay with a prosthetic. I was going to say I'd be okay if I lost my left arm because I feel like maybe we could replace that with some sort of a gun arm. It would have some sort of offensive capabilities. I don't know what, but I'm imagining that when I twist it in a certain way that it's just going to start shooting a machine gun out of my arm. That's going to be a thing.

Those video ideas are endless. Yeah, I've always thought that if you get injured, all of a sudden I'm in a wheelchair. It's like, hello, my friends. It's if it's Russian. And I'm like wheeling in there with like some rockets or something. Or, you know, if I got a cast on with a machine gun cast. Well, explosives are coming back to the channel, so you don't know how they could have.

Start launching. Oh, yeah. I was watching those Battlefield videos. You know, they put in Battlefield, they've always put C4 like under vehicles and stuff and launched them. And I was like, ooh, let's do that in real life. That'd be cool because Battlefield 1 is coming out and everything. But, yeah, I'm real – it's not just a vanity thing. It's also like, man, are you telling me that there's going to be a chapter of my life here at 30 years old where I'm going to start learning to walk again?

That sounds rough. Like I got enough shit going on that I want to take care of without learning to walk again Let's just start over fresh. I'm I'm putting all my money on reincarnation I'm gonna name a body part and you tell me if you would rather die scrap it or keep going Front section of your nose Scrap it just kill yourself at that point dead without your nose yeah yeah unless the doctor tells me they can fix it and make it look normal again you can't get any pussy without any nose you start looking like tyrian in the books you get laid after that no half you mad if you if you

yeah if you if you look like skeletor with just a hole right here and it's always whistling and stuff and every time it rains you got to put your nose umbrella on so you don't aspirate If you look like Skeletor with just a hole right here, and it's always whistling and stuff, and every time it rains, you got to put your nose umbrella on so you don't aspirate. Fuck all that. What's that? Kids are terrified of you. They cry when they see you. What's the HBO gangster show where the guy's got a messed up face?

Yeah, Boardwalk Empire. Yeah. He's missing this whole jaw, and it's all weird. He's got this face mask thing. No, none of that. I gotta have a nose. I think you could learn to get pussy without a nose and I also think it'd be a new getting pussy challenge.

You know what I mean? Not only am I getting pussy, but I'm getting pussy noseless. You know what I mean? And eating pussy, you'd have to specialize in the same way they're trying to get into the best pussy eater there was. Your nose doesn't specialize in smelling pussy. The same way they're trying to get into the NFL. It's the best pussy eater there was. Your nose doesn't get in the way. You know what I'm saying?

You probably use that hole to kind of go around her clit a little bit. You know what I mean? I feel like when you're sucking, you put the hole on her clit and suck through your nose to get her off with that. No. No woman is going to be like, yeah, suck my clit with your nose cavity, Kyle.

When you're playing the Get Pussy game. You know how much I like when you sniff my clit into your face hole? You got to get the eel girl from Japan. The weird girls would want you to blow your nose into their vagina with a nose cavity or something like that. Go to Japan. There will be someone into it. Okay, so kill yourself for a nose. You'd rather die than the nose.

Not just one ear. One and a third ears. So you lose one of your two ears entirely. Keep on going. You can get those prosthetic ears. They literally Velcro on or glue on and they look 100% real. Did Big Macs just take us to the bathroom?

I can never grow eyebrows again. It's not just they shaved them. Someone accosted you, threw you down, and you said, but you like those eyebrows, don't you? And then they took a knife and they just kind of pulled it and they sawed both of them off. And so it's like a weird pinkish scar above your eyes. I keep going.

I think we start with maybe some tattooing to cover the scar and then some hair implants. We can get that fixed. It's going to be a little exciting. I think we start with maybe some tattooing to cover the scar, and then some hair implants. We can get that fixed. It's going to be a little exciting. I bet you can fix that for less than $10,000. Make it look right. Seven fingers, and you get to pick them. I don't want to live.

Okay. No, seven's too many. We'll do six. Six. That's too many. That's too many fucking fingers man that means I get I was like alright I keep all of this but then right

all I can do is like like thumbs up and like I think you'd keep both thumbs both middle fingers and an index that's just a lot of fingers missing you're telling me i'm gonna be missing these two outside fingers the ring finger and the pinky from both hands i'm basically gonna be the penguin you can't get pussy as the penguin

or get rid of the pointer and the pinky keep these two no it's too many fingers man i know i know a guy who's missing quite a few of his fingers because of a congenital birth defect. And look, he's a nice guy and everything. Maybe there's something wrong with me, but there's something in my genetics, something inside of me that when I see that sort of thing, it's a bit abhorrent. I'm very freaked out by it. I don't want to touch him. I feel like he's dirty because of his flipper hands. I know they're not. I'm just saying I doubt he can wash as well as a ten-fingered man. And he works hard. So, like, they're all rough.

And, like, what comes from having three fingers on each hand is they have to do twice the work of a normal finger. So they're all calloused and, like, meaty. And, like, the musculature is a little bit different than it should be. They look stringy like that hunchback from the 300 movie he's got weird muscles in his hands like that and it's all like corded and a little like animalistic looking i met this guy in florida one time and and like i i knew a day in advance i was gonna be introduced to this guy and nobody told me that he had flippers and i was like and and and i meet him and he's like hey nice to meet you i'm mark and i i shook his hand and I shook the flipper and I didn't flinch a bit but I'm shaking this guy's flipper and I mean it's a thumb and it's

too like penguin style like other fingers that aren't quite normal he looks like the Danny DeVito's penguin with the fucking hands and I'm like shaking this thing thinking like someone should have told me about this weird bony appendage. You don't spring that on someone. Yeah. Because there literally is, for the same reason that human beings see a spider or a snake, and they get that immediate, like, ugh. That's coded into us.

The reason that we survived and our ancestors didn't is because our ancestors were fucking terrified of snakes and when they saw one they ran they got a stick and pounded it until there was it was mush or one of the other because that's it's fight or flight in that situation so for the same reasons it's it's not that nice to say when you see a person who doesn't look genetically sound for whatever reason or maybe this isn't a person we want to breed with, we're in a similar way turned off by them and have this abhorrent feeling like maybe we shouldn't add them to our village, our gene pool, maybe

we don't want them over here, that's not a good person, and that's a... Yeah, it literally... From a social level, if you are introducing someone to someone who has missing fingers or appendages, or maybe they only have one eye or even really anything like that any serious maiming action missing shit you gotta let the

person know beforehand yeah you can't just send them in blind thinking that they won't make an ass of themselves because you don't know how you're going to react to a one two-fingered man shaking your hand until you're deep in that well well, not very deep, in that handshake. It's courteous to that person and courteous to the person He had this one long finger that he kind of scratched my wrist with a little bit while we were shaking. That's not true. That's not true, he is. So it wasn't so much

like a malady, he just had a fucked up hand. Really, one long finger. He had one long finger with tentacles on it that he wrapped around my forearm as we shook. Just unsettling. Just unsettling. Just unsettling. I don't think I've ever shook the hand of somebody with a missing finger that I can think of. You know, I have on a couple of occasions, and I didn't care for it either time.

I just really didn't. My great-grandfather was missing both of these fuckers and half of this guy. Like, I guess, 13 13 of people in missouri he got caught in the thresher which thresh that's what it always is wait what does the thresher do is it a farm equipment it's a farm tool yeah and it threshes yeah is it uh like for hay it's like to work with hay and crops. I don't even know if Thresher is the specific tool or if that's what is called a broad range of things on the farm. I'm not a farmer, but that's what happened to him.

He got it caught in the fucking 40s, and it just ripped off two and a half of his fingers. And so then I had to get the talk in 1994 of like, oh, you're going to see your you know your great grandpa don't mention the fact that he doesn't have a lot of fingers or even better mention it and he'll have a good time telling you a story but um it is weird especially as a kid to see that and just be like that's wrong that's not enough fingers when i was doing woodworking a lot and i have been again recently but like um i had a lot of woodworking friends and if there was ever there are these woodworking

shows where typically you go and manufacturers like display their new equipment and things like that. A lot of things you could never afford near their quarter million dollars. And afterwards we'd eat a meet up and eat lunch and hang out or whatever. Thing is a lot of these people were missing fingers and I often viewed it like, like, is this my future? And, I'm in this... That's not reassuring. Yeah. I'm like... So I have this philosophy in the shop where I'm like, all right, all right.

If you're doing this, you need to do it in such a way that you could do it for 30 years in a row and not get hurt. There should be no chances to hoping it goes right. No. Like, you know... Dude. Go on. If you want to see why people lose their fingers to a threshing machine, just without any audio, let that video I just linked play

because the audio is literally the audio of a thresher running. But you'll immediately see why a wheat thresher often takes fingers. Do we want to watch this in sync? No audio, wax. Yeah, everybody can probably watch this. I don't think you need to sync, wax. Yeah, everybody can probably watch this. I don't think you need to sync it up. Yeah, you can just play this. It's immediately obvious.

Oh my gosh. Yeah. Look at that. Within seconds. So for people that don't know, this thing looks a little bit like a wood chipper. Like if you may be watching this in the car. It probably is essentially a wood chipper, you know? Yeah,

like a repurposed chipping tool. And they're taking these bundles of wheat, it seems, and shoving them into the thresher. I don't know what comes out the other side, either bundled wheat or shredded wheat. I think that they're maintaining the wheat part and getting rid of the stalk and everything else.

The chaff. The chaff. Yeah. And it looks like you, by hand, take the wheat and just shove it into a wood chipper like thing at least he's got gloves on come on what he's being safe did you see that story i think the guy was in north carolina too where yes like on his first day

we're working a wood chipper a guy got sucked in young guy like. What? Like 16, 17. Head first. Hand first. No, no, feet first. Hand first. Oh, that's right. It was feet first. How did he go feet first? Did he jump in?

It wasn't his hand. He was kicking a log. So there's like a log in there, and those things are working by like impelling, grinding wheels. And the log is jammed in there, so he's kicking it, kicking it, kicking it. And finally it goes all the way in, takes his foot, and starts sucking him in. I'm pretty sure it sucked him in most of the way and then locked the machine down. And then his boss comes over, sees this, and has a heart attack and fucking dies right there. Did the kid die?

Yes. The werewolf. Holy shit. I don't know if Kyle and I have this story different. I remember – There were two chipper incidents that happened within a few weeks of each other. So maybe I'm combining two stories, or maybe you are, or maybe we're both thinking about a very similar event.

But, yeah, I remember that. It was his first day on the job, and he was a young guy, like 16, 17. Dude, stories like that are so unsettled. He was 19, and like Kyle was right, he got pulled feet first into a wood chipper. And the boss was so distressed by Cox's body that they ran around ripping their gloves and hats off, causing neighbors to think they were being attacked by bees. I thought I read a thing about him having a heart attack too, but I'm not finding it. Is that what the neighbors were doing?

We should go help that boy who's stuck in the thresher, but there's a lot of bees over there. I imagine them just like running around like like oh no what has happened to billy dude that's because like you know like i'm trying to imagine myself as like a 17 18 19 year old and that's my summer job or whatever and the guy's like all right fucking take all this big wood throw it in there crush it it down, shred it, whatever, and then I'll be back in half an hour. And something gets stuck and you're like, oh fuck, it's like day one, I'm gonna look like such an idiot and an asshole, I better just start stomping and get it through there, and then before you know it, you're literally dead. Like, that freaks me out, because I can just see myself doing something like that at that age.

The boss wasn't so terrible. He assigned him a task that he thought was safe for a beginner. He was sandwiched by two more experienced guys. And in 26 years of doing this, only one other person has ever been injured. It sounds to me like that was a dumb kid. I think your boy is slow. He's slower now. That Fargo reference.

Yeah, come on now like like when i look at a wood chipper i don't know if anybody here has ever worked with one but like they are terrifying to even look at like just i look at it with the same fear slash respect that i do only a couple of tools and pieces of machinery a metal lathe is one of them when i see a metal lathe and I work on a metal lathe. Wood lathe too. It's this thing where like, you know what to do and you know what your next move is. You know you're gonna turn this dial this way and you're gonna move this up the work piece.

You know what's next, but you still stop, look at your hands, get your gloves on tight if the job is glove appropriate. And a lot of those jobs are not glove appropriate and people don't know that. And you really think, all right, this is about to go there. It's turning counterclockwise. This many are okay.

We're safe now. Because if you don't apply that level of concentration every fucking time you do it, if this is a job that you're going to do 1,000 times, 1,000 times, you just get sucked the fuck in, and it skins you alive. Can you say what a metal lathe is i i it is uh it's turn it's it's it's uh it's almost like a sideways drill press but you instead of a bit it's like a giant piece of metal often like three feet long

yeah and it it spins metal sideways so on a metal lathe you typically have some automated thing that spins um they call it a tool. It's a pointy little thing, and it chips away at the metal. You can make a lamp or something with decorative things. Oh, okay. So when you watch the banisters in a wood stairway, they do it with the wood, and they kind of make a pattern with the little rod. Yeah, it's a similar type thing, except in the metal world,

it's usually a little more automated and precise. In the wood world, there's usually a guy with the little rod. Yeah, it's a similar type thing, except in the metal world, it's usually a little more automated and precise, and the wood world is usually a guy with a tool. And much more powerful. I don't know what the horsepower and gear ratios are exactly, but it would be like comparing a drill press. I think of most woodlades, maybe because my woodlades were never top, top, top

tier woodlades, but they got a few horsepower. A couple or something like that it's it's sort of similar to a drill press but like my metal the forces are did i break up or something for a moment you did no you're good oh no oh maybe i messed it up i was gonna say that the fucking metal lathe is is a kind of i don't know if you guys want to watch this video of someone being killed by a metal lathe that seems a little gory uh is there one of just someone being grievously injured um so we can tie it back in i'll watch it until it gets crazy i'll watch it i mean i'll watch it and it's not this isn't my first time watching someone die on the internet casually right okay well um i don't know if this is...

I haven't watched this before, but I usually don't like them. But it'll give you an idea of what a metal lathe is if you're interested in that. Now that I know what I'm going to watch, I don't know if I've... Jesus Christ. I'm watching this.

I'm just getting still pictures. Oh. Yeah. Oh! Yeah, this is probably some graphic content. Yeah, I'm not showing this on the show, but I'll describe it. There is a person. It looks like he wore long sleeves, and the long sleeves got wrapped up by the piece of metal.

And this is an issue. I work with equipment a lot where it's so strong that human body doesn't have much impact on slowing it down. My tractor is a really good example. doesn't have much impact on slowing it down. Like my tractor is a really good example. If you were to hold or get caught up by that PTO shaft, it would spin and what a human has to offer wouldn't even slow it down. So that's what happened to this guy.

He's on a big strong machine. It looks like his clothing got wrapped around the workpiece and therefore his arm, it's not just broken, it's liquefied almost. It's just wrapped around. It's like taffy. And the guy's dead so he doesn't really care about his arm but yeah it's it's like he's still being held in a standing position by being so taught in this lathe like that up to his shoulder it's just taffy

wrapped around a workpiece um yeah the horror of such a thing man i don't even want to go into thinking because it's pulling tendons and veins and stuff and out of his body and wrapping those as well as you would imagine it's just so horrible i don't even like thinking about the intricacies of that injury and what went on it's terrible so like i i've got a metal lathe i don't fuck with that thing i don't want to you know if i need something done on that I'll hire somebody to come do it, or I'll just go to a machine shop. But I don't want to be part of that thing.

It's just too dangerous to fuck with. I get absent-minded, and I daydream sometimes when I work. And that's a job that you could be standing over that lathe for an hour doing something. I can concentrate for 20 minutes long enough to set a detonator and do that right. But I don't want to be sitting there for two fucking hours grinding the same piece, the same motion over and over. I couldator and do that right. But I don't want to be sitting there for two fucking hours grinding the same piece the same motion over and over. I could forget and get sucked in. It could happen.

Yeah, that's terrifying. There has to be a way to make that safer. Is there? Can you put a shield up or something? Well, so there's CNC machines that are completely automated. They do everything without any input. But the quality,

the thing about a machinist is he can go in there and take a cylinder of aluminum and turn it into an intricate thing. He can bore out the center. There's so many different tools that the lathe can utilize. It can bore out the inside of things. It can shape them in ways you wouldn't

imagine. It's how you make things. It's a maker type tool. it's a base level tool where you're starting with just a piece of stock, just a piece of cylindrical aluminum or steel or really anything because those things have carbide cutting teeth or whatever. You can turn it into anything. I watch guys on YouTube and it's interesting. They're like, hey, you know what? I need a shifter knob for this thing.

So they just take a piece of aluminum, shape it like a shifter knob, thread the inside by operating the lathe very perfectly. And all of a sudden you have a threaded shifter knob that he just puts in place. And if you're good at it, there's nothing you couldn't make. You can make screws if you need to. You can make bolts with it if you need to. You can make the things that make things with with a thing like a metal lathe when you see uh like a dead or i'm sorry i cut you off i was going to something else good i don't think i was done no you're good about the uh the body the dead body thing we're looking at i just was curious like how similar you guys are

to me with this so when i see dead bodies and it's and like i know that that person didn't wake up that morning being like i'm gonna kill myself or like whatever and you just see like an accident happen like one of my first thoughts is always like i'll look at like their pants or their shoes or their shirt or something and just be like man this guy had no idea that that this was gonna be the last time he put pants on like this is gonna be the last time he'd put shoes on The last time he brushed his teeth. Do you think like that too? Yeah. This guy probably wishes he would have wore a tank top

that day. Swag, man. Because he's dead. I like that. That's a good one. We had a guy in Machine Shop with long hair, like down to here. And he would wear it long like he was fucking Jesus Christ or something. And our shop teacher, like one day he was like, come here, let me show you something.

And he put in the gore video. And it was some shit like that. And there's a guy whose hair gets sucked in and it scalps him and rips his face and like like like turns him into the red skull from the marvel movies basically you know and he's like that's what's going to happen to you he's like i've seen you lean over that work piece i've seen your hair be be this close and that's all it takes he's like that will be you and next day ponytail i think i was in a ponytail It tucked in the back of his shirt. And he was over there working with a ponytail. And it was a better look for him anyway.

Yeah. He was on a one-way street to being a no-face. What's your first thought, though, when you see a dead body like that? Is it something banal like that? It depends what the situation is. Time to death. Time to death is what I'm looking at. I want to know. Because there could be an awful looking corpse, right?

Like, let's say you jumped out of a building and you're smushed, right? Your whole body, which was normally a foot thick, is now three inches thick, right? It looks a mess. And I look at that and think, you know, that looks bad, but it was not a bad way to die. You know, he went from live to dead in a heartbeat. And that's not so awful when i see that guy i'm like ah he kind of died from the arm down right he might have died over the course of 25 minutes where people were like i don't know how to extract him from this machine he bled out

i'm sure he was um in uh shock yeah i bet he bled out pretty i mean that's his head crushed like the last picture from the not the last picture but the one before right that's his fucking head that went through that thing crushed is it i need to look again right it's almost you can not even like recognize some of those body parts because it's just a pulp but you can see his hair like the not the last one but the one above the last one that's his head right yeah it's almost like you know like a hematoma is hematoma the right word not hema because hema means blood but whatever that like where it's like a bunch of teeth and hair and like nails and shit that grow like one of those tumors that grows like one of those tumors that's what it looks like it looks like just

you're right he did die quickly based on that head i think when you see something like that you can't help with the first thing you think is like, you think what if that was me? I mean, that's the first... When I see that guy's head, I'm like, I think of if my head was put through a fucking thing and then crushed like that. Wouldn't be that bad. I mean, anytime you fucking drive a car, you know what I mean? This shit happens all the time.

Oh, speaking of freak accidents, did anybody see... Alright, let me sneak in a quick ad and then we're going to talk about a child dying. Let's see which ad Kyle picked. Today's ad is for progressive auto insurance. Tired of eating the same bland food while trying to stay healthy?

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like beer but i like these things and i'm trying to think what else i got oh those pineapple granola bars i got were really tasty too i uh i kind of lived on those during when i was traveling back and forth in texas i was slow to tell them what I wanted but I can't wait to get them man they're good I got the little chocolate chip cookies they tasted a little bit just a little bit like Coco Krispies the old cookie

cereal they're still current baby but better but much better the Coco Krispies kind of taste like shit if I'm being honest they've got this like oily after thing on your tongue, and so the Nature Box things don't have that. They've got these little tiny oatmeal chocolate chip cookies that are delicious. I'm a big fan of those.

I don't usually... I was going to say, you said you don't like beer? No, I don't like beer. I thought you were drinking Bud Light the whole time we were doing this. No, I got Pepsis. So the whole time I thought that was Bud Light. No, no, I really don't like beer. I thought you were drinking Bud Light the whole time we were doing this. No, I got Pepsis. Oh. So the whole time I thought that was Bud Light. No, no.

I really don't like beer. I just never really like to drink. I've done a good bit of drinking, and it always goes poorly. You know, I usually drink too much. I get to a point where, like, I'm feeling really good, and I'm like, man, I'd feel even better if I had another drink. And I have that drink, and I'm like, whew, I don't feel so good man i'd feel even better if i had another drink and i have that drink and i'm like i don't feel so good maybe i'd feel better if i had another drink it's like oh man it's all downhill from here it's just uh and it's always gone bad i've had a bunch of situations where i've ended up like vomiting out of cars and vomiting and restrooms and just being really sick yeah he's seen it and you know

just ruined cool nights you know with like all right it's midnight we hit every bar on 6th street here in austin now let's vomit for in our hotel room for the rest of the night right so i haven't really drank much it like like as far as like social drinking like if if we're somewhere where it's a it's not a you're gonna be an odd man out if you don't just get a fucking beer you're gonna be lame or something like i'll totally drink um but i i don't have any beer in my house and like i don't have any reason to have any beer in my house like i don't want one ever i feel like the people that often drink so much that drinking becomes a problem is for whatever way their their body chemistry is such that they frequently get the perfect nights, right? For me, to drink enough that I get a nice happy buzz, but I don't get like, not even sick, but just feeling bad, like hungover,

that is flipping a coin and landing on its side. You've been lying there, right? Yeah. I've got to get somewhere between three and five right here. Okay. like in line there yeah somewhere between three and five right here okay yeah i just never seem to nail that like drink have a great time get a fun buzz feel great tomorrow like that it just it's it's not in the cards for me and i i don't know i don't think more experience would fix it or anything i think i'm just wired to to either not have enough

buzz or get sick all right so maybe some of you um remember the water slide in kansas city i just heard about that so it came out um maybe a year or so ago and it was such a big deal because this water slide was so big uh so powerful um so high so tall all that stuff it's uh it was such a big deal because this water slide was so big, so powerful, so high, so tall, all that stuff. It's got a couple of drops, this water slide. It starts out, and you go straight down in a three-person raft at very high speeds, and you go down a hill, and then you go up a hill and then down again, and the way it gets you up the second hill is with a series of water jets on the slide that are pushing you along and up the next hill.

Now, the combined weight of the three persons on the raft is supposed to be 400 pounds or more to make sure that the raft always maintains contact with the slide. Well, what happened here was a series of failures with that system. First of all, the reason this slide is in Kansas City is because the state Republicans have kind of made that area a low regulation area. So it's one of the few places that they could build this enormously tall and dangerous water slide. And some of those regulations had to do with the size of the people. You know how it says you must be this tall? Well they don't do that let's carry on yeah yeah the height thing changed and even the age thing um had been reduced to down down like maybe 10 years old from like 14 or

something like that they figured that what's really important is that we got 400 pounds on this raft so this kid who is the son of this republican state uh senator goes up with two of his friends. The three of them don't weigh enough combined to go down together. So they put the two boys on with a stranger, send them down, and now it's the last child's turn. And for some reason, they put him on with two women. And since he is the lightest of the three, he goes in the front. And the women are not big.

They're not big. They don't come to the needed 400 pounds they've said that that is a failure with the scale that's obviously a failure with whoever's picking and choosing he didn't want to make the kids skip two rides in a row that's clearly what happened if you think about it like if anybody's ever been to the top of one of these water slides it's a shit show they're just trying to get you off and gone. And so they go down the first hill. They come up the second one, and they kind of keep going up. They lose contact with the slide and start flying through the air off the track.

Well, they've got these big metal rings that go up and over the slide and have netting strung between them to keep you from just flying off into space. Well, one of those rings completely decapitates the child in front, cuts his head clean off. The head keeps flying backwards and hits the woman in the face behind her, fracturing her skull and her face and messing up her orbital socket around her eye. And both of those women's faces hit the net, and it scratches them all up as they hit this net

going dozens of miles per hour the boy's headless body slides to the bottom of the of the slide in that pool of water they used to decelerate you at the bottom where his friends are waiting the you can see the pictures of that area soaked in blood it's just red it looks like a shark attack and and they're screaming as this headless child's body comes to the bottom followed by the head followed by the two severely injured women. Dude, that is one of the most ghoulish, horrible

stories I've ever heard. Have you seen the boy? Yeah, I just saw the picture of him. Not the injured picture, the pre-injured picture. He's the most adorable, cute little boy. I sound pedo but like it no yeah whenever i say it what he's like where's the head who wants the head he's dead it's like a doorhead game of thrones you're like leave the head um that's funny though oh man that's it's so horrifying yeah did you say

a 400 a 400 pound minimum for three people i mean that's you got a man in there that's all considering it's a children's ride that seems like a fucking it's not a children's ride and the owner has specifically said this is an extreme this is not a family ride this is an extreme ride the people who do this are akin to the people who skydive and race cars this is an extreme ride and it is it's scary and you can say that video of it going as planned so we can i'd like to see that yeah yeah you can say that it's not a kid's ride and they did denigrate right but i feel like you can't just say it. It's at an amusement park, right?

There's tons of people going on, families, moms, kids, et cetera. Just because you say, oh, no, this one is like bungee jumping. This one is like skydiving. I don't know. It doesn't make it true. I assume. And there's no age limit, right? Just size.

And I don't blame the guy at the top of the slide very much at all. He shouldn't be put in a position where if he doesn't accurately guess weights like a carnival person, then people die. He's got to do math. Okay, you're right. There's a scale. 400 pounds. And it's his one job, really, if you think about it. Like, maybe he wasn't made aware of how important his job was.

Maybe no one said, hey, at 320 pounds, children lose their heads and we all lose our jobs. Bro, nobody probably said that. They were like, hey, dude, 400 or more, right? He's like, yeah. And that was it. 320, the total weight. It's two women and a 10 year old let's say the average woman's 125 130 so 260 plus yeah i mean if it's i don't know if it's 400 is the minimum weight in reality it should be like 200 should make it airborne like you know

what i mean there shouldn't be like oh 399 401 like it should be no there should be no at 350 people die Here's the problem with that though because of the nature of the ride and those water jets that force you up You have to keep the weight in a median area It can't be too low and it can't be too high or the ride just doesn't work because of the nature of what they've done It ended up this video Yeah, if, because early on they had incidents of people going,

you know, they go down the first hill and they start going up the second one and they're like, whoop, ah, we didn't make it.

And they're just kind of, you know. So this video I sent like really gets to the point immediately with the ride taking off and going. Somebody made a good video. Do you want to watch together?

The odd video? Yeah, the most recent video is two minutes and 36 seconds long and it just shows someone quickly ride the ride. Do you want to go to where it starts? It starts at like one second. Like it immediately starts. No, it...

Oh, am I wrong? Yeah, I'm at 30 seconds. They're still at the top of the slide. Oh, my bad. Go to 2 minutes. 2 minutes? Yeah, they sit there for a while. Oh dang, my bad. It looked like they were immediately

going to get kicked off. Alright, I'm at two minutes. Alright, I'm at 204. Let's sync up. Okay, so yeah, this shit's more like a roller coaster than a water slide. Yeah, I'm 204. So while we're paused here at 204, you can see that netting in front of them. That's not the netting he went into. It's the second series of netting.

But you can kind of see a ring that creates the top oval shaped perimeter of that netting in front of them that's not the netting he went into it's the second series of netting but you can kind of see a ring that creates the top oval shaped perimeter of that net that's what took the boy's head off not that particular one but the one on the second hill okay let's uh let's go ahead and watch this ready set play looks like a ton of fun if i'm being honest like look at this oh i'm sure it was a ton of fun. Look at this. Now the jets are shooting them up. And they got airborne and flew into those nets. Yeah. It's a short ride. Yeah, you can definitely see exactly where

it happened. And you can imagine, if the three of us were on there, there'd be no issue whatsoever, and it'd be a hell of a time. But you put a kid on there with two normal-sized women. See, that's the a problem i feel like if this ride were in georgia we'd have found two big old girls to put on there with that kid that ride wouldn't have even made it up to the top of the second hill just have a rule must have one adult man per ride we get to ride the ride more and pretty much cement that it's's gonna be you take an adult man you

put a small woman in there and then even like I don't know a 12 year old kid you'll hit 400 pounds like you'll hit it that's right how long how long how long did this ride operate safely until an incident happened a year one year that's that's pretty remarkable there's itself and it only did it then it even laddie that not even that because here's the thing um it didn't used to have the jets that push them up i read this and uh and you could get stuck at the bottom so they added those jets and they added the weight minimum at the same time so it felt like they were still dialing it in right you know first you have people getting stuck then you put like jets at the. Now you got people launching into decapitation.

They should have sandbag kind of devices. You know what I mean? If you have people that are under the limit, they should have some type of Velcro sandbags on the side. What they need are giant walls and no roof. So that if crazy airborne happens, they just stay

in the tunnel and land in it. Or just a seatbelt. They had a Velcro seatbelt. The raft went. It's not like the boy was thrown in the raft. The whole raft flew. Yeah, that's why the women were hurt, too. Everyone on that raft got head injuries.

I misunderstood the dynamics of that. Oh, man, that's fucked up. At the end of the day, with amusement parks and shit, nobody bats a thousand, man. There's going to be a couple fucking tragedies here and there, man. It's just one fucking, you know what I mean? Like, there's every, you're not going to. Hey, would you even want to go if everyone survived?

Like, who wants to go on that fucking ride? You're like, oh, you heard about the new thrill ride at Adventure Mountain? No, what's it like? Ah, it's incredible. All kinds of hills and turns and flips. Really? Anybody died? Well, no, everybody who doesn't makes it out it's not actually dangerous or anything well that doesn't sound like any fun what about that big water slide in kansas oh the lopper

yeah yeah that's a little too hardcore for me i don't want to do that that's the one i want to do like if i'm being honest the fact that that boy that someone just died on this ride makes me want to do it more. Had you heard of it before? Yeah, yeah. I mean, the only reason I know about it is this. I mean, any publicity is good publicity if you want to be the devil about it. You know what I mean? I've never heard it.

I just think it's interesting that Kansas City apparently had an area where this was fine. If they took this in the middle of Missouri, they'd be like, oh, no, no, no, we're a little more progressive here. Like, no. How does that happen? That they just make it a special laws for this one water slide so that they can be like, ah, you know, this is only legal in this city. The way I see it, honestly, I think it's a bit of deregulation.

The article i read made it seem like it was because of the republican-led state senate i don't know if that's true or not but i like the idea of there being a thrill ride like this that is dangerous that is edgy i don't like that there's kids getting on it because a minor really can't make that decision to spin the wheel like we were all making earlier. He doesn't know he's spinning the wheel. He's going out to play on a water slide. It's fucked up that you're putting a 10-year-old on this ride when it's being dialed in.

It's sort of an experimental edge-of-your-seat kind of prototype ride. It's not like the Batman at Six Flags over Georgia that, of course, it cut that the it's not like the batman at six flags over georgia that of course it cut that one guy's head off but he had jumped three fences and was standing on the ground nobody on the ride got hurt except for the woman whose leg hit him in the head of course that poor lady never walked right again but you know it's they're they're thrilled that wasn't because of the ride it was no that's because of the asshole who snuckuck in. Yeah, like remember the Superman, like, tower where that lady got her foot cut off? Yeah. Where, you know, I don't know if you know the story, but Superman's a ride.

They have, I think, six flags. Like, they put a lot of the same rides under similar or slightly different names at every location. And it's Superman. And it's this big tower where you basically go up, and you're sitting there, and you're strapped to the outside of this tower. So you're not really protected. And then you fall down really fast and they bounce you back up and a cord, one of those, I don't know what the name is,

the metal cord that kind of powers it snapped and then whipped up and just lopped her foot off. Yeah. Like ghost shit. I'm just saying that they saw the foot still in the shoe, like fall. Cause they weren't moving. They're just up and down. So everything down so everything is just coming straight down i think the reason that all those

rides are named like batman joker riddler and stuff like that is that maybe warner brothers who owns dc also owns the six flags companies and stuff like that so they're they the batman name is theirs to use you know for free i think that's the deal because it all seems to be dc comic stuff i don't see Iron Man the ride. In Atlanta, for anybody who likes roller coasters, I love roller coasters. I go to Six Flags a couple times a year. They've got Superman.

You get in it and you're in Superman flying position, arms outstretched on your stomach. If you wait an extra five minutes, you get to be in the head of the line on the front car, although it's not a car. And that really does feel like being Superman or something. That's so much fun.

I love that ride. Have you guys seen the movie Ghost Trip? Have you? No. There's two topics. No, I haven't been to Cedar Point either. Oh, never mind. It's the best roller coaster park ever.

I heard that. It blows everything else out of the water. It's incredible. Check it out if you live in Ohio. Yeah, man. That cable breaking and cutting your foot off is just kind of like another thing. You know, you go to McDonald's. Oh, I've seen Ghost Ship. Let's watch this scene.

Oh, shit. I didn't hear you say that. No, what were you saying, Wax? I was saying you go to McDonald's, the milkshake machine's broken, you can't get a milkshake. You go to wherever that was, the roller coaster breaks, somebody gets their foot cut off it's you know what i mean shit breaks milkshake foot you know yeah this is one of the best opening scenes to a horror movie in like cinematic history are you guys ready i don't know about that but i like it

opening scene all right ready set play Alright, ready, set, play. Yeah, I remember when I saw this. Yeah. It was a little scary. How old is this movie? Pretty old, 10 years or more. Yeah, I would say. It made me respect high tensile wires afterwards.

I've done a lot of car recovery with off-roading. And everyone would reference this movie as what happens when it goes wrong. Yeah. Oh, this is spelling it out. Uh-oh. Boom! Oh, no. They're all looking around.

Whoa. Well shit. Bye. That would have been a good day to be a midget. Is the girl hurt? I can't tell. Or just not like dancing. Or a break dancer spinning on the ground. They need a scene like this at the end of Game of Thrones and Tyrion just walks away

like HA! Finally! Is that Ben Stein? No. He did look like him though a little bit. Fat Ben Stein. Yeah so that's pretty rough yeah i remember that scene that little girl the last person left she was short enough she survived

oops well that makes me want to watch the movie that's the opening scene jesus christ well it just seemed relevant to all this roller coaster high tensile talk it was it was definitely relevant i just i don't know how i feel It just seemed relevant to all this rollercoaster high-tensile talk. It was. It was definitely relevant. I just don't know how I feel about that. That's what they were going for when they made the scene. Yeah. Tell everyone about Tracker while we're here.

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uh... tracker dot com and enter promo code pk a the hardest thing you'll ever have to find is a website go to the tracker dot com right now and in a promo code pk a for thirty percent off your entire order again that's the tracker dot com promo code pk a link in the description. Check them out. Cool idea.

Oh, speaking of that, I got some PKA-branded trackers the other day to add to my collection. So I got three trackers now. You want to see them? Sure. Let me grab these things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're talking about trackers. I might as well.

As long as I didn't lose them, that would be a problem. Let's watch Kyle dance around his room watch the trackers be on the desk which I think is what he's checking I think he got up, walked away from the desk now we're watching Kyle butt mostly look for trackers

should I go get a tracker? Why did he bring a knife to go to the other part of the house? Maybe he keeps it somewhere dangerous. Especially at West Coast. I'm in a creepy mood. I mean, I think Kyle may be a little

into ghosts, right? Not into ghosts, but he believes ghosts are... At least he said at one point, he said there's at least one ghost out there. He said something like, you can't prove there aren't ghosts, therefore there might be ghosts. I know that in order

to leave his room, he had to get a knife. Yeah. Maybe that's a knife. It's like a bayonet. I don't know that knives work that well in ghosts. Do you still work with herbal tea, Wex? What's that? Do you still work with herbal tea?

Yeah, yeah. You do? Yeah. Not as much as I should. You know, he's got more of a 9 to 5 family life than I do. Uh-huh. But I should. Should work with them more but i'm most i'm mostly like

kind of like a uh a cave dweller working by myself in my studio you know what i mean just kind of kind of loner yeah are you into like what other hobbies are you into like gaming shooting you know when we have people i'm into i'm into i'm into I just grill and shit I'm in my backyard you know what I mean this year I took up I started taking up yoga this year now I'm into that now I'm into that you know I took started taking that up this year I'm interested in how boring your hobbies are you're like I like grilling and yoga I like skateboarding skateboarding is a little bit more okay skateboarding is fun for other people not not for me. Skateboarding is kind of like when I was younger, I was really into it.

Now, I still like to go to the store, I'll use a skateboard. Do you feel like your skateboarding talent, as a guy who's aged, I don't know how old you are, 30? How old are you? 37. 37, okay. So maybe you've experienced this to some extent. Like silently some of your athleticism has been removed without telling you. You were doing kick, flip, ollie, whatever the fuck 15 years ago,

and now you're like, ah, maybe I shouldn't. Does that happen? Yeah. It's not only the lack of athleticism even more so it's the the gaining of fear like like if i'm doing something difficult i'm not just thinking about physical pain i'm thinking about like how this will affect my life like do i have insurance like hospital, like, you know what I mean? Like, it goes beyond that. Yeah, I took, but I started taking up yoga this year because my roommate got me into it. And I was, like, if you had told my fucking 18-year-old self that I would do yoga, I would be, like, in my old school homophobic ways probably told you, no, fuck that, you know. But now I actually feel like I'm in better shape than I've been in since i was much younger because of it you know i'm 100 sure that if i did yoga i would

pass gas and that's like i don't want that i don't want that at all i i can't i can't take it i'm never gonna do it that's very very common isn't it in yoga so do those rooms just smell like hot shit nah they always have some kind of like girly, it's feminine man. They always got some kind of candles and shit in there to cover up the BO and farts. I do like candles a lot, maybe I would enjoy it. I just... It's good scenery too man, the girls are good, you know? Yeah, yeah but at the end of the day like, don't want to because because the the guy who's leading

it is it a guy it's it's usually a girl usually okay well then never mind my my apprehension was answered that's really neat kyle what is that i got one too that's a pka tracker they sent yeah this is that product i was talking about before. You know, you just... It's really small and discreet, so you can kind of, like, put it on... I've got mine on, like, a handgun bag that's got my ammo and my nice pistol in it that I take to the range when I actually go. And I figure if it gets stolen, you know, I could track it down the road or something like that, maybe. It just gives you...

Slip it in your backpack at school, and then if it's ever... If you lose it innocently or if it's stolen, you'll you could also put it back at school and then if it's ever if you lose it innocently or if it's stolen you'll be able to hunt it down it's very light and uh you know it's a good idea um we've got one on a dog that that's that's silly one of our stupid dogs that likes to run away so you know you know that you pull the thing up you're like oh good he's in the backyard he's not like he just made a beeline for Alabama. It's about the size and weight of a quarter, but it's a tracking device.

And you just stick it in something you want to make sure you don't lose. Very James Bond. If you had told me that when I was a kid, I'd have been like, ooh, ooh, how much is it? $500? $1,000? A million? Because you have no concept of money. I remember when i was in kindergarten

having an actual discussion with a colleague of mine a fellow five or six year old being like you really think your parents have a hundred dollars and they're like yeah i bet my dad has a hundred dollars and i'm like there's no fucking there's no way your dad has a hundred dollars that's ridiculous and like he was wondering like i i had it in my head that a hundred dollars for a couple years at that age was like the top the peak like if only someday i could i too could have a hundred dollars like i had a similar experience i had i was probably a little older like seven and i was at a friend's house and someone they had came around with a $100 bill.

I didn't know they got that big. Like $100 bill. It was like, and we all, I remember we laid it on the table. We made it like extra flat and like crease free. And we just marveled at the $100 bill, you know? And it's like, oh, we haven't even looked at the back yet. And flip it over.

We were just amazed by this $100 bill. It was pretty cool. Dad always kept cash around the house so i was familiar with the denominations i there's a 500 bill they don't make them anymore but they exist i saw a guy um trump signed one and uh it was pretty neat i liked his reaction like some guy had an autograph from trump on a 500 bill and he's like, hmm. And when you get Trump to go like, damn, a 500? You know, then that's a neat thing. You know, like, look, I don't want Trump to be my president.

But. You'd let him sign your $500 bill? Yeah, I kind of think having a 500 signed by Trump would be cool. I think, you know, I'd try to get all of them. Like, hey, Cuban, Who's the guy? Bloomberg. Elon Musk. Or the Facebook guy.

Zuckerberg. Or Bill Gates. Yeah, get all the billionaires to sign your file. Maybe get one of those sheiks over there in Saudi Arabia that controls the whole country's gross domestic product in their back pocket. I wonder, where does Putin rank? I feel like Putin. I bet he's top 25. Is he secretly worth like $100 billion? Putin... I bet he's top 25. Is he secretly worth like $100 billion? Dude, I bet he's number one

because he can just co-opt any industry in Russia and be like, oh yeah, this is also mine now. So I have access to all this. He took over a small country last year, so I would say so. It's not like he has $100 billion in a savings account, but I think he has access to... I think he does. I've read that he's funneled away enormous sums of money into private

accounts i i've read that who knows you know right then you read on the internet but you would imagine that he would he would and i've seen this uh in the same video that was calling him out for having stole this money i saw these videos of him doing like state media, like you know an interview for Russian TV and he's in supposedly his home and it's very austere, like there's like a the TV is not a flat screen

there's like brown couches and carpet and it's like that is not where Vladimir Putin lives, because in the next scene they're like here's where Vladimir Putin actually spends his summers. And it's like, it's one of those houses like the English, like, noble people have where it's not just a home. It's an estate with, like, multiple functions. Like, oh, there's where they smoke the meats.

Yes, that's the meat smokery. And here's where we make our fine cheeses for the servants You know like like there's it's a compound. It really is an estate where like servants live on the property and The the property is hundreds of acres and there are fences that look like they're not just meant to keep hooligans out They might be able to keep some armed men out. You know keep people in yeah Yeah Do you ever see a house so big that it piss, you know? To keep people in. Or that dude. Yeah. Do you ever see a house so big that it pisses you off?

Yep. Why would it be? Go on. Like, I was seeing, like, a good example of one, a very large home that doesn't piss me off is Woody's. Probably because I actually know you, and so you could have bought one of those houses I'm about to talk about and I'd still be 100% biased but I was looking on

Forbes has this section on their website that's like most expensive current houses on the market and whatnot and I clicked it just to see what it was and it's there is like a hundred million dollar it's basically somewhere you can buy in California

that's your own Rhode Island essentially and it's basically somewhere you can buy in california that's your own rhode island essentially and it's just it i look at it i'm just like do you god like i know you got so much money and you just probably dislike people for not having as much money as you but like do you have to make it so you honestly live in your own world away from the peons and the paupers and the serfs because that's what it is you're keeping the world out like that sounds great like zuckerberg it makes sense because everybody's trying to fuck with them but if you're like i don't know some oil baron that nobody knows the name of and you live in that house it just seems douchey that's what that guy out in texas has with that 18 000 acres of property he has like

18 000 acres it's like i mean he he takes his tank and, like, just shoots it. Well, not really. I mean, he bought it so he could live there. He lives there. What did Taylor say? I didn't hear his words. It's his job. Oh. I mean, it kind of is.

Like, he utilizes that ranch as, like, a hunting ground where people can come and pay. But all that's set up as a nonprofit, you know. This is where he lives. It's just his kind of playground. And he does socialize with people but it's his friends and family it's no one else it's it's it's there are because you're in a remote part of texas to begin with i mean you can drive and find neighbors but you gotta drive to find them and it's not like there's more than a dozen neighbors uh then you gotta drive

half an hour to get to a town you know it's absurd how remote he is and how far the average person is pushed away from him. I live in a nice home. I like it. So I watch these shows, and in my head, I'm almost mentally competing with the nice homes on TV. I always lose. They're always nicer. When they feature Paris Hilton's house, she's not slumming it in my house.

It's always like 10 levels beyond. We have a guest house. Your house is her bug bombing her main mansion, so she stays in that one. We have a guest house, but it's not that nice a guest house. Their guest house is like 2,000 square feet. It's a house house. And then their house is like 12 000 square feet we're half of both of those and you know like i um i'm in the center of 14 acres which is kind of nice you know

and i i feel like i have a buffer from other people but like kyle's like yeah this guy he wanted land to shield himself from whatever development he just wanted to be alone so he's in the center of 18 000 acres it's a whole different game like i i you cannot see it it's literally you can't see property that another man owns right out there like we go to the top of his mountain one of them and it's like that scene from the lion king it's like everything the light touches simba yes it's ours i could fly my paramotor there and see nothing but his land. That's incredible. It's outrageous.

I would like that. I like what that guy has going on. I've met a couple of rich people and Mo lives in New York and in Manhattan and that kind of busy, blustery kind of thing every day going in with a suit and tie and doing his job. And he's got a cool job, and he owns a few different things.

It's multifaceted and all. But, man, he's working. But then this guy is like the opposite. He's figured out this thing where, like, he just kind of, like, lives on his own playground, and he uses that money in ways where he still doesn't have to pay taxes on it necessarily. He finds ways to hang on to his know by putting the place in a non-profit by a lot of things like that um but but when you look at his toys every time i see one of them i've never

been like oh that's just a waste of money man why would you get that he gets he because he gets like experts to tell him what the cool thing is um so if he's got night vision he's got the cool night vision i'm like oh yeah yeah you're not fucking around here are you holy shit when he puts a laser on his gun it's the good laser so like he's loading us all up with machine guns and suppressors and night vision and and we're hopping on his like every the vehicle you get in is the top of the line the gun you're holding is the top of the line the house that it came out of is the top of the line and then you know he also owns a barn full of tanks and artillery pieces and shit like that it's it looks like a blast to be him that's it yeah i'm hearing this and i i shouldn't

be comparing myself this guy's so wealthy but like like i have a golf cart i love my golf cart i think it's the greatest thing i i love getting around on it we were just picking up the trash cans from the curb today via golf cart right but this guy doesn't have a golf cart he has like a six-person atv with great suspension he's got a ford raptor four by four door that he's put a big raised sitting platform in the bed of so that it sit you're you're sitting above the top of the cab and that's like a 65 that's like a 65 000 nicest truck i can't even picture this yeah but he also has like utvs and stuff right you buzz around oh the best yeah this crazy raptor racing thing with a big roll cage um and then he's got this other one that was like a four-person.

I wish I knew the model. It went fast though. And he drove us out. It's nighttime. We're all armed. And he drove us out in the middle of nowhere hauling ass. He was going real fast. But you can't scare me in a vehicle. You just can't. I'm prepared

for the wreck. I'm almost looking forward to it because I want to see what's coming it looks fun to me especially if there's a roll cage and a seatbelt you can't scare me I want us to wreck it'd be fun for me so like he's trying to scare us and I'm loving it

and on the way back I'm like can I drive? he's like sure sure I was like alright let me know if I go too fast. I'm going so goddamn fast in this thing. It's like a gravel nighttime half-assed road. And I've never been down it before. Every turn, we're sliding into it.

We're going downhills. And I should be on the brakes because at the bottom, there's a maneuver. No, I'm sliding into the maneuver I'm doing my best to terrify them and finally about five minutes into this drive as We like go over a hill and like through some bushes and shit He's like alright alright that's probably good enough right there I scared him. Yes. I got him. I thought it was a real accomplishment cuz like I Really like off-road driving and any kind of like

Aggressive driving at all I really enjoy that when I when I got to that I think his name's Billy Baldwin the the the like super truck driver He drives those million-dollar like desert racing trucks like I got to ride with him on one of those jump tracks and That it's a million dollar fucking truck and he's like one of the best in the world that i love that shit like like that thing you hang out with dan blazerian that day do i have my tricks mixed up yeah yeah yeah so that that thing was cool i i like anything like that and when i see that racing on tv where is it motocross what

what's it called where when the car it's like i want to call it baja or um ironman or like all of those things yeah in particular i like the ones that look like they're in europe or something so there's like trees and rally racing maybe rally race yeah i would love to do that i want to do that so badly it looks like so much adrenaline the whole fuck it looks like you're just like just fucking shifting gears and fucking sliding into corners and jumping shit and then rolling and rolling and rolling i think of myself as kind of fearless at these things but the stories you're telling i don't think i could hang i think i'd ask you to slow down too and rally racing that shit looks dangerous

like they're on cliff edges and stuff like the the other pikes peak races have you seen that i don't like that i don't like that now i don't want to go off a cliff i want to roll into some trees that that's that's how adventurous they both seem like terrible ideas see i would never do i i no you'd be like hey we're gonna go risk our lives for for fun for a minute i'd be like no it's fine i'm to stay in the mansion and make up an elaborate backstory about myself to tell the help and have fun with that. That's what I'm going to do. And then I'll smoke a $20,000

cigar or whatever the hell he gives me as consolation. I'd be setting up video for the interesting corners. Do you get a little... I'm sure Kyle doesn't because you enjoy these risky things. I get like almost a feeling of like i'm better than you when i see someone who dies in like a very avoidable thing where they're like that guy

recently who jumped out of the sky with no parachute and he basically just needed help getting to his target just in case with guy the guy being like falling right next to him like you good you good what it's like all right see ya and like they left if that guy had died like it's it's fucked up but wouldn't don't you feel a little bit like yeah i'm smarter than that guy i'm better than that i make smarter decisions level because i would never do that i would never jump out of a plane knowing that the ground is no that never occurs to me i like it when people who are really pushing boundaries like that succeed because when they fail, I feel like it retards the growth of that industry or that sport or just people who are getting into it.

In the space industry, that's happened a bunch of times where we have an explosion, we lose a space shuttle, and then it's like, oh, shit, no more missions for the next four years. It's like, how far does that set us back? I'm not getting any younger here. I want to see some semblance of space travel happen eventually, right? I think we all do. Me, probably more than others,

because I grew up with the Star Trek and just loving it so much. And the idea of leaving this planet and going into space and the infinite universe and all that it might hold and could hold is so fascinating. It seems so much more important than anything that's down here. It seems so much more important than Donald Trump. Maybe, but I think it's in the same category

as when you see one of those guys in Thailand who's looking an alligator in the face, slapping it, being like, I dare you to move, and then he gets his head bit off. I'm watching it like, you asshole. I'm better than you. It's not like I enjoy seeing people fall from the sky and die.

It's just when they do, I can't help that little visceral feeling of like, I would have never done that. That's a way to die that will not happen to me. 100% guarantee. Unless I'm kidnapped and thrown from a plane, that will not happen. Not that one in particular,

because I could see myself doing that. Like that one to me seems like a calculated risk. It's like I don't know much about how accurate you are when you jump out of a plane, but I bet that guy did, and he knew that he could hit that fucking net or he wouldn't have done it. And so it looks to us on the outside, people who don't jump out of planes and don't understand how accurate you can be just jumping out of a plane, they're like, holy shit, it must have been like a

1 in 10 shot that he makes it. He did not hit the center of that net, though. I assume he was close enough. I mean, he didn't hit a bullseye, but I mean, pretty fucking good. That thing was about as big as like four houses or something. I don't know.

It looked to me like it was maybe 15 000 square feet or something 20 000 square feet it didn't look big if he was on a parachute he could have landed if he was in under a parachute he could have landed on a frisbee and he missed the middle by like a hundred feet or something like i i was just like oh i thought he'd nail it but good enough yeah when they announced like the net thing as the fall started i was like oh man this guy's trying to hit a postage stamp at the bottom of this fall this is gonna be crazy and then you see the net and it's like how did like it would have been harder to miss this he was way up there when he started i don't know that's the thing he didn't jump from like um i don't know how high they

normally jump four thousand five thousand feet whatever he didn't do that he had to have oxygen when he took off that was one of the reasons why he had accompanying uh jumpers is because he had to take off his oxygen mask and give it to them you're not allowed to like just fucking throw something that's a big no-no and especially when the camera crews are there and you're setting some kind of world record you know so he's got to hand that thing off to somebody you can't just let it go i thought he jumped at 13 000 feet he had oxygen um i thought that he jumped from much much higher and that was why he had the oxygen i could be wrong though i only watched him do it one time i always thought that i always had heard that like just the jump itself going that far could

kill you even with that before the impact like loss of oxygen or hard racing like just the jump itself going that far could kill you even with that before the impact like loss of oxygen or hard racing or just the speed you're going or some shit like that so so the um the oxygen's thin up above like uh 30 000 feet or oil it gets thinner the higher you go and at some point you've got to have oxygen when they call i think they call this halo jumps we had a friend that did it and when he went hypoxic in the plane on the way down so that could be a problem but not from like normal jump distances that they do and the human body has a terminal velocity a maximum at which it can fall because of the the because of the air resistance and it's like 150 miles an hour roughly but uh our buddy that we had on a couple weeks ago was talking about jumping he wears a heart rate monitor and he says it goes up to like 160 170 beats per minute when he's jumping which is terrifying and i remember thinking about

that and watching this guy set this record and he also had a heart rate monitor but i think his was only up to about 130 and i remember like thinking like ah he's not as scared as richard ryan is as Richard Ryan is. Jesus. Yeah, that... I think that once you... there's no more air, you should either get inside something as you continue to ascend or just avoid it.

Just stay in places where there's air. How do you feel about deep sea exploration? I think that if you have air strapped to your back, you're fine.

But if there's some magical distance down there where air just can't be held by a container, like, you shouldn't just be holding your breath going, like, another 20 feet, another 20 feet! Like, no, just get out of there! That stresses me out more than anything. I'd be more worried about wildlife as far as the deep sea goes.

Wildlife, really? Like, that lasophobia, like, feeling. You don't know what the fuck is down there. You know what I mean? Like, that's their territory, you know? There's some shit down there. You're not going to go skydiving and, like, you're not really worried about, like, some fucking enormous, like, bird. You know what I mean?

That's not going to happen. We talked about out of the realm of possibility that, you know, at some deep section of the ocean, like deep underground, that there's a fucking monster down there. Like something prehistoric. And even deeper down, like the stuff that interests me that really blows my mind, like when they start talking about the Jupiter's moons and stuff, Titan, that might hold life underneath like an icy layer that's up top. layer that's up top is like I was reading that they discovered that there's this huge underground ocean under the Earth's crust that's like as big as the

it was like as big or bigger than all of the oceans that we currently have but underground and I was thinking like what if there's some shit living underground in a giant like deep dark ocean under the Earth's crust like that stuff just kind of blows your mind maybe they couldn't

survive in the temperatures as hot as the surface. Or wait, it's cold? Wait. It would be very cold. It could be one or the other. Yeah. Because if it's close to the core, it starts to flip the other way, right? I could go far enough down to be close to the

core of the earth, but even at some areas at the bottom of the sea, there's those vents where you can watch it, and there's just boiling water going straight in. It's hot magma that immediately boils the water around it, and then there's hot jets of boiling water going out. And those gases that are coming out. Yeah, they're living on the floor. We talked about space exploration.

So I'm for space exploration i like it but i i often have this thought like nothing cool is gonna happen during my lifetime i know we have to like waste the next hundred years before anything cool happens but i feel like getting to mars is gonna be somewhere in the coolness scale of the moon like we'll get up there there'll be no life instead of being gray it'll be red and yeah it's it's boring as fuck you know i feel like we're in the stage where we're like an 81 year old guy when the model t came out and you see all the potential and all the super awesome shit that's coming but you kind of got to temper your expectations and be like, well, I could die any day now. Maybe we'll get some gears next year.

Gears would be nice, wouldn't it? Yeah. You know, until we start traveling... I think you're wrong about the Mars thing, though. I think we can be more ambitious than that. Here's what I think is going to happen in the next 25 years. I think we're definitely going to go to Mars. I hope it's the United States,

because I hate seeing these joint ventures between China and Russia and India. All those motherfuckers. We don't need them up there planting any flags. No, they need to stay away from our space rocks unless they want a space war because if there's anybody that can fire a space war, it's the Americans. We're prepared

for that shit. Star Trek, Star Wars. I mean, come on. We'll make that happen. I don't see no Chinese star movies. No, that ain't happening. We'll win the space wars if they come. But I think we're definitely going back to the moon and by we I mean humans. Moon and Mars I think will colonize Mars

to some extent. Like there'll be a guy or three up there living in a biosphere kind of like the Martian. Something like that will happen for you know or so i really want them to go to those the moons of jupiter to go to titan where they have hypothesized that there could be life under there that there's all the the makings for life there it would be warm enough it would be liquid water is in favor of that i don't know if you got it from the same place yeah him and lots

of others they talk about a lot and then there's a movie um i've talked about before it's it's probably a b minus movie maybe a c plus movie uh it used to be on netflix it's called like mission to titan or something like that and it's basically a space movie where they do just that they land on the moon they start drilling uh they send a submersible underneath and they and they find some stuff and it's uh it's good i i'm just convinced that during my life all we're gonna do is land on other dead planets and see rocks that could have existed in arizona and well probably more it's hard to get that excited i i'm excited about. I think the idea of going to Mars is a big one for me. I wish that we had a politician

that gave a shit about that. You haven't heard Trump or Hillary even say a word about space. I would love one of them to say, give me a Kennedy style speech. In this decade we will go to Mars. Not because it is easy, but because it is hard like come on let's go

let's go to mars let's do something cool let's plant an american flag on fucking mars that'd be very cool inspiration i get because they need another country to compete with in order to do it they'd have like china or russia or somebody would have to be like they need their leader to say that for anybody here to give a shit like you know if hillary clinton started talking about space donald trump would would rip her for thinking that's important you know what i mean like yeah and vice versa space what about jobs you know space jobs that sounds like something trump would start talking about yeah yeah he's like he's like i got a job for every mex Mexican and it's in space. Like, we can all get behind that, the Mexicans. The Mexicans are going to pay me for the fare for sending them to space.

Pay me in space, bro. So, yeah, that is exactly, that's so on point, though, of if either one of them said right now, like, you know, we need to go into space. The other one would be like, that's not important, you idiot! We really do need to wait until another country acts like it's a big deal and play off of that competition. Yeah. What if ISIS was the... What if ISIS could build a rocket and

start going to space? We should let them have... Beheading those big-ass Martian creatures with the big... Can you see the Martian sitting there, like, tied up in the sand with his hands behind his back? A real, like, confused look on his face. Like, how did I get here? What the fuck?

Allah! Like, what have I done? The first thing we see in intelligent life in outer space is it being summarily beheaded by ISIS. Because it was a sorcerer. Because it was a sorcerer. Because it was a witch. You could not leave another place unless you were a witch.

You know what's awesome about that is ISIS, their space program could be called ISISis. Just add in space to the end of it. Islamic state in Syria and space. In space. Let me tell everyone a little bit about

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Yeah, and although when you first start your plan, you can select whether you want fish in your bundle or not. And I think you probably like me was like, all right, let me, yeah, I kind of wanted to open my, uh, open my palette up to whatever Blue Apron had to offer. And so I clicked everything despite the fact that I don't really like fish very much. And, uh, I don't really love pork. Um, and I kind of wish I hadn't because it's, they're good ingredients. They're good recipes, but it's not magic. They're not going to suddenly make fish taste like something good if you just

don't like fish. So pick what you want. And then like you said, you can go in every week and customize exactly what you want. So I liked like the lamb and beef cheeseburgers and. Chicken, beef and lamb are the ones that I have selected, or maybe those are organized differently, but I got rid of fish. And no vegetarian option. Because then they're just getting away with sending you leaves and berries for the same price. Vile weed. Get some meat.

Yeah, vile weed. We went, I didn't check fish. They send you all the ingredients? They send you every ingredient? It's pretty neat. They send you every ingredient and the amount of the ingredient that you need. And they send you, ingredient and the amount of the ingredient that you need and they send you like a recipe card and like what was the neatest part about it to me was that it added more items to our menu like if your house is like mine there's like i don't know six

or eight different things you eat all the time and yeah so this would bring them in and somewhere hits and somewhere misses but you know when it's after like a month or so you're like oh you know we've gone from seven things we like to ten things we like it expanded our our menu options by a bit and it's pretty neat yeah diversify that palette with blue apron i like that they literally only give you as much or as little as you need so i don't know i guess it when you're putting your own recipe together you might end up with a whole bag of fucking carrots and who likes carrots yeah what blue apron will send you one carrot they will send you one tomato they will send you one two inch long cutting of ginger root if that if all you need is to like put a little ginger on something then you don't need a whole ginger root you know you just need a little little

like it was funny they'll send you a garlic clove right a garlic clove is the size of like a baby carrot and uh but then it comes in a paper bag that's suitable for like'll send you a garlic clove, right? A garlic clove is the size of a baby carrot. But then it comes in a paper bag that's suitable to send a kid to lunch with. So we would take the things out of the packaging because it takes no time at all before you've got nine paper bags in your refrigerator and food you can hold in your palm. And it's like, yeah, you've got to take gotta take these things out store them and then go for it they give you they give you an option for like say you have a family of however many like you like this serves four this serves two and two kids or exactly it definitely i remember there was two and four i don't remember what all the choices were but we just we were like oh we're a family of four so we just chose that and other people can choose two

or whatever i mostly ate that food by myself or with my girlfriend, and I got the four-person family meal, so there was always plenty. I liked doing it that way. I might actually try that out, man. I'm single. I'd fucking cook a bunch of shit on Monday and eat it until Thursday. You know what I mean? Dude, it's perfect for you.

Yeah, I need to diversify my palate for sure. You know what I mean? Dude, it's perfect for you. Big thing of, yeah. I need to diversify my palate for sure. You do. And I'm glad, or maybe they do let you pick specific meals, but if they don't, I'm kind of glad they don't and I haven't looked into it because otherwise I would have eaten that first crunchy, like, sauteed chicken, orange chicken thing and then just never gotten anything else.

I was blown away when i got that i was like this tastes like i got a little restaurant like and this happened right here like it was it really is good yeah but anyway i ate my uh favorite meal the other day i went to morton's and uh i got i got a bone-in filet mignon i got the iceberg wedge salad with the blue cheese and the egg and the bacon i got a shrimp cocktail it was 23 shrimp cocktail i can't i got um five um yeah yeah they come out in this dry ice uh little little container with the dry ice foam like coming up around them in a big pool of like um ice all around that and real presentation thing 25 for five shrimp um i got i got the uh the

chocolate souffle that you gotta like have them make for like half an hour or whatever and uh i got like i got some like twice baked agratan potatoes and uh yeah that was it i love that's my favorite meal is to go to my mouth is watering is to go to morton's and get like that delicious steak that delicious salad and one of their delicious uh sides it's part of it because like i ate all my food and then i ate more food like i ate two steaks i'm at like i i go if i if i'm going there and i'm gonna spend 220 on dinner then like i'm not i'm going there and I'm going to spend $220 on dinner, then like, I'm not, I'm going with an empty stomach. Like, like I haven't eaten that day and I didn't eat dinner the night before.

So when I show up, I'm fiending like, like that salad, I'm eating every scrap of that salad. I'm like looking around for the steak to come at this point. So like, I really enjoy my Morton strips. That was very like a food,

the last meal you get after, before being executed. Yeah, it's definitely part of it. Yeah the last meal you get before being executed. Yeah, it's definitely part of it. What would you get, Wax? Your last one. You're going to be executed. You have to take the method of execution into account though because your loved ones will be watching. And if you load up on ice cream and then they electrocute you to death, who knows

what will happen. That'll stink. I think you have to go with an amazing steak is one of it. I think you have to go with an amazing steak is one of it. I think you have to go steak as a part of it. You know what I mean? I think that's just, fucking you gotta get a steak. You know what I mean? And shrimp cocktail was actually, or a lobster tail.

You know, a lobster tail maybe. I like shrimp. I'm from Maryland, probably some crab stuff. Maybe a really well made crab cake, you know? If there are enough courses and stuff, does it prolong your life? You know, like if you get some meal that GRR. Martin would describe, would you live another day? Oh, bring on the honeydormice.

I'm not quite interested. Ah, another pot pie. I feel like a might package for a rooster. Cook him up. Just keep him coming. Yeah, there are like 13 courses that he describes over 19 pages The hangman is saying that we either do this now or tomorrow As my last meal for a reason and I'm gonna get as many breadsticks as I want

Has been eating breadsticks for 24 years Have you guys been watching the Olympics? Yeah. The other Olympic pool turned green. They're both green now. Did I talk on PKN or to either of you about the Filipino Splash Brothers? No. No, I don't think so. So there are these two Filipino high divers.

They're calling them the Splash Brothers. Now, when a high diver comes to the board, forgive me if I use some incorrect terminology here, but if it's a German, an American, a Russian, you know, someone like that, they're coming up there and they're as cold as ice. They're a competitor. It's just stony eyes, dead expression. They adjust their fulcrum on the board. They're a competitor. It's just stony eyes, dead expression.

They adjust their fulcrum on the board. They get up there. They have the exact perfect amount of steps. They take the steps the exact same way because they've done it a thousand times before the same way. They bounce once, bounce twice, and then do their flips or twists or whatever their routine

is, and then tiny, tiny splash. No fear. Not even a hint of it it appears watching them do this these filipino splash brothers as they're being called come up there and they're like all right i guess this is it they get a running start bounce and then you can see the fear in their face as they start transitioning into backflips it's just The first one goes up there he does about two and a half backwards rotations flat on his back Big deep cannonball type splash like it looked like something from the Fail blog. I'm not playing. He crawls out and goes to the hot tub transition pool.

Diver number two comes up. Same thing. Also, splash. They're both in the pool waiting on the scores, an Olympic score. You got five or six judges or whatever, and they each hold up a card with the numbers. It goes, zero, zero, zero,

zero, all the way across the board, and they just look at each other and kind of, well, what are you going to expect? At least we didn't die. Enrique didn't fucking make it. It's funny. Three Splash Brothers. The third one cracked his fucking...

They're landing like this, or in their feet. There were three Splash Brothers. The third one cracked his foot. They're landing like this in their feet. It honestly looks like someone was standing at the end of the diving board with a gun going like, go on, you do it. This guy looks like he got plucked off of the gymnastics team at the last second.

They only allowed 12, not 13. What am I going to do? You're doing the high jump. He's the only diver that before he does his routine, he looks over the lifeguard like, Hey, hey, you awake over there? Get off your phone. I'm going to fucking kick you. I'm going to fucking kick you.

This is going to be rough. He's got to psych himself up before he gets to the board. I love seeing that. That is one of the funniest fucking board. I love seeing that. That is one of the funniest fucking things. I love these dudes. I think they should have given him more than a zero. I mean, they actually did something.

They didn't do nothing. They didn't do the dive they were supposed to. It's a gravity-based event, right? Everyone hits the water. We grade you on what you do before, during, and after you hit the water like like like you can't just jump water just like i scared like visibly like looking for the right place to go he swims the wrong direction they gotta they gotta yell this way the ladder's this way

i'm more guy they look terrified I've been watching the swimming. Missy Franklin's having a bad meet. That makes me sad. I'm like, I don't follow swimming super close anymore. So a lot of the guys I root for were good, like four years ago and stuff like that. Michael Phelps is killing it.

That's, that's pretty impressive. If you want an individual gold and some really only qualify for one individual event though. I think he qualified for more than that. Okay. I don't know. I know he's got 20 fucking medals now, more than a lot of countries.

Is he at 22 now? Oh, maybe I'm out of date. I think you're slightly behind. That's a lot of medals. Dude, in college, I swam with this girl, woman, whatever. By the time she was a senior, she was like an eight-time All-American. She was very, very good. And she had a shoulder injury.

And we were up against these like heated rivals. Now the men's and women's teams are kind of different, but we swam at the same day, you know, like things being a change. Anyway, so we're up and our coach gives us this giant pep talk. He's like, I fucking hate. And then the other coach, I hate that guy we we compete against

them every fucking year and he is the biggest piece of shit in the whole conference if he left this school and went to alaska i would drive our asses up there in a van just to kick his ass again and uh like it was so it was a big heated rival And he didn't give these speeches every game. I was excited. I was a freshman. And I had never had a coach pump up a team like he did before. Now, I'll mention, I did win my individual event, my fly. But the men's team got their asses kicked as a team.

But the women were mega competitive. It was like super, super close. And the last event, and a collegiate event anyway is the four by 100 relay and uh this woman Connie she had a busted shoulder so she couldn't swim that day otherwise it wouldn't have been so close Connie would have won every event but uh um it's like it's coming down to it. All the girls, no one knows who's going to win this thing. It's, it's just like, it's, it's a toss up. And, uh, I was, I was right there. Like I'm sitting on the bench and my coach is watching and he's got his clipboard out and she taps him on the shoulder and she's like, put me in coach.

And he's like, what? She's like, I can beat these fuckers with one arm. And, uh, he's like, are you sure? And she's like, yeah, yeah, I can do this. So she goes up there, her shoulders injured. That sure and she's like yeah yeah i can do this so she goes up there her shoulders injured that's why she's not swimming this event her shoulder is like some sort of like labrum tear or something like that and she has to rest it because she wants to be at her best um you know come uh the nationals so she can be all american again anyway so she goes up there now the deal with freestyle is you can swim any stroke you want like you can do butter brush you can be all American again. Anyway, so she goes up there. Now the deal with freestyle is you can swim any stroke you want. Like you can do butter, brass, you can make up your own stroke. There's

just a few rules. Like you have to be above the water after like 15 yards. And another rule is you have to do the same stroke for an entire lap. So you can change at the, um, at the midpoint, but you can't change in the middle of the lane so uh she's swimming anchor and uh like no one knows what she's got in the tank or what can she can do she's not training she's injured and uh it comes into the the anchor leg and she's behind right they they've handed her a deficit and the whole meat is hanging on this thing and she goes out there and she swims with one fucking arm it's like this one arm butterfly thing and she goes out there and she swims with one fucking arm it's like this one arm butterfly thing and she's keeping up with the other team's anchor leg one

armed and then she does her flip turn two arms she busts out two arms and she cuts the gap in half lap three one arm again right the thing hurts she can't do it come the final, she breaks out two arms, she passes the other guy, and she wins the thing. It went down as legendary. Fucking Connie, busting out this one-arm relay win out of nowhere. That's really cool. She was amazing. Fucking Connie. Now, on the flip side of the Olympics, getting away from that heartfelt, emotional, wonderful victory,

I've been going to this subreddit called Olympics. Yeah. And it's just like ass shots, creep shots of Olympic athletes and stuff like that. I love it. So water polo is a good one because those chicks like to pull the other chick's titty out to throw them off base. It appears to me that water polo is a game where like, I don't know, 10 or 15 adults get into a pool

that's too deep to stand on the bottom. They tread water and they try to throw a soccer ball through a net on either end. Seems so fucking stupid, but the best part is there's titties and ass. These chicks are pulling each other's bathing suits off so the other chick will have to rearrange her boob and put it back

away and can't focus on the ball anymore. bathing suits off so the other chick will have to like rearrange her boob and put it back away and can't focus on the ball anymore that and of course it's real good strategy and then of course there's but there's women's volleyball and i that you got both indoor and beach beach is much better there's there's it's much better i i really love the olympics for the incredibly hot female athletes that are just specimens of physicality and muscularity. They're just asses that look like they could just destroy your penis if they wanted to. Like you'd be fucking them and they would just like flex their butt muscles. And it'd be like those chicks that crush watermelons with their titties. Like your dick would just implode.

Like there's some there's some beautiful beautiful i was watching a water polo i was watching a tiny bit of water polo more like a youtube clip of like a section of it and one of the most depressing people i'm sorry depressed people in sports have to be goaltenders in water polo because all it is is a very slow approach, because obviously they're in water. You can't, like, sprint up and down the field or the pool. And they get real close to the goal, and then the goalie kind of does a little wiggle maneuver with his lower body. And he goes, kind of, like, wiggles himself up, and he tries to put his hands up. Because it's way higher than where his head is in the pool.

And then he, like, has this look on his face. It's like, oh, I'm fucking waiting for it. I'm fucking waiting for it. And then without fail, the guy with the ball goes, and it just goes straight past him and into the net. And every time the goalie's just like, oh, God, 10 out of 10 times I have that one. Get in your game.

Get in the game. It's like, no, you don't. No, you don't. Because this is a sport where when you take the best of the best of the best, there just isn't parity by position. So similar to lacrosse, the best goalie on the fucking planet is gonna stop seven out of ten from an average guy you know like the best goalie on the if you take a professional hockey goalie and kyle you you can leave kyle out there for for a week and a half and he will not score if you put kyle in a pool with that soccer

ball, give him six or seven minutes after he's acclimated himself to the temperature of the water, and then he will walk over there and score. Because they have doomed these people from the start. These poor, poor water polo goalies. All this pressure on them, and they can't do

anything to stop it. They're too slow in the water that really just gave me a kick i liked that and the goalie just sits there and treads water the entire fucking time just like until somebody everybody does that's everybody does i wonder like it's kind of weird to me that there's there's water polo and then there's polo which is on horses and shit and they're like they're just like let's get rid of the horses and do this in a pool. Oh, they start with horses, but they all drown in the first inning. I love that they're skating.

And they drag the horses out and start around shoes. Well, they wanted to take it from an incredibly rich sport to just like a little bit of a rich sport. So you don't need a horse, but you need a pool. I just see those as two different sports. Like to call them the same name is a little ridiculous. There's polo on horseback with a fucking croquet mallet, and then there's water polo, which has no croquet mallet or horses, and it's in a pool.

It's more like water. It's closer to soccer. I don't know. Yeah, it's like water soccer. There's no animals involved in one. It seems like water rugby a little bit too. I don't know. Let me tell everyone a little about Loot Crate.

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just like Kyle's piqued my interest. In MMA, sometimes the women wear like, it's almost like a sports bra slash t-shirt. Like it has little sleeves on it. That would seem to make a lot of sense. Like people just couldn't tug off your shirt if it had little sleeves on it. That would seem to make a lot of sense. People just couldn't tug off your shirt if it had little sleeves on it. In water, though, you know how you get suction and air bubbles. Maybe that could be – maybe it's stuck to you and you're not as – I don't know why.

But in the one piece. Here's what I think it is. What's the site you guys – what's the site you're looking at? Here, I'll link it up. Here's what I think it is. What's the site you're looking at? Here's what I think it is, honestly. And I think this is the reason why the women's beach volleyball players are basically wearing thongs with their boobs hanging out. Nobody will watch that shit otherwise. That's just the truth.

And there are women out there who will poo-poo on what I just said and say that's sexist. They're not fucking watching it. I'm the one watching women's volleyball, not you. Don't act like you were watching that thing, buying some O'Neal shorts because you watched some big-bootied Brazilian go out there and fucking save one. No, I'm watching, and I'm the one who might buy some O'Neal shorts because I watched a big-bootied Brazilian chick save one.

I'm their audience because I like watching those scantily clad athletes do their thing. It's hot and it's entertaining. Those are like the women that complain there aren't enough engineers, yet they studied, I don't know, politics or something, poli-sci. It's like, dude, there's not enough women engineers because a lot of women don't like being

engineers. That's the thing. Why aren't you one? Well, I don't know. I just don't appeal to me. Yeah, that's right. That's the scoop. How many WNBA? Well, I don't know. I just don't appeal to me. Yeah, that's right. That's the scoop. How many WNBA games have you been to this year, ma'am? I don't want to watch that bullshit. Me either. They should be in bathing suits and I'd watch it. Like, get some

titties bouncing while you run up and down the court with that ball. If you can't dunk, you better entertain me somehow. Yeah. The UFC fighters get it. They wear less. i like it i see now like it's rare that i'm watching it i'll say this there's nothing sexualized usually to me when i'm watching a ufc fight because those chicks are fucking hardcore like when you're beating another one bloody there's nothing hot about that really i just respect this the okay maybe you're into that

yeah i recognize they are when you see a woman with a bloody nose you get an erection i understand Okay, maybe you're into that. Yeah, I recognize. When you see a woman with a bloody nose, you get an erection. I understand. I understand. But what I'm saying is that for me, in that moment, when I'm watching Holly Holmes come out, and I know she's about to fucking punch somebody in the nose and the blood's about to start flying, I'm not looking at her butt.

I'm watching her footwork. I'm looking at her hands. I want to see what she's looking at, what she's looking at at the other girl i really enjoy the spectacle on many levels i really do okay yeah i uh you know like i the women fighters i i feel like a lot of women's sports benefit from the fact that they're they're not all killers in there right you know shucks when i swam it was like you could just see the attitude there between the men and the women like the guys lived and breathed this shit it was their whole sense of self-worth it was their passion in a way that like you know the top 10 of the women did you know the top 10 women was the average guy

like killer i don't want to say killer instinct but like you just like passion and drive and competitiveness the way they push them the way they push themselves to like like to suffer right suffering is a skill and it was way more common amongst the guys than it was against the girls um these ufc fighters the women are all just they're they're they're there with the guys i think they're just they're suffering at the same level that they are by nature they just have to be like they just have to be to get where they are doing what they do there was no they're like the spartans if you're a woman who's become a mixed martial arts fighter you've been through so many things where there was somebody giving you shit about being a girl

and not thinking you were tough enough. You passed through those filters that separate the tough girls from the non-tough girls. They're over there. I love them. You're the one who could hop in the Marines if you wanted to. I have so much respect for them, but I like their tight asses as well. Ah, yeah. That's good to hear.

Most of the time, some of those chicks look like they might have some fat cocks instead. A lot of tight ass and some big balls tucked up underneath it, too. That last fight, was it Misha Tate that lost at UFC 200?

Yeah, Amanda Nunes. The girl who beat her, I think she's ethnic. I don't know. She looks like Spanish. She's Brazilian, I think. Brazilian, okay, yeah. Looked like a very strong Brazilian man. That's what it looked like. Like, man, that did not look like a lady before, during, or after the fight.

Just saying. And I don't require that my female fighters look attractive. But I'm just saying. You just want to beat the shit out of each other. Yeah, I just want to beat the shit out of each other. But after that one, I was like, ooh, that's the ugliest female fighter I've seen in quite a while. That looks like a dude. Huh.

I'm going to look because I think. It's kind of funny because, like, it goes the other way. Like, a dude who's a fighter almost has to kind of look attractive to women. Whereas, like, a woman that gets all, like, fucking tough and shit is kind of like at least for me personally i find that super unattractive like a brute i think also the reason that or i'm sorry i stepped on you i didn't no at least my least favorite my least attractive uh trait in a woman is masculinity you know i mean that's like i want my girl to be i want a girl to be a girl like i don't want you to have fucking like six packs shit. I don't know.

I'm on your side 100% with that. 75% of this call is on your side. No, no, no. I side more with Woody than you two definitely do on this. My thing is I like all that stuff. I like a girl with a big booty that booty that's like jiggly and like literally this big that's good like if it's literally this big like that's awesome but i also like like a girl who could like run a marathon and her butt is like this big but it's tight as fucking steel

like that's hot too i also like a girl that's got like a girl the six-pack is hot like i dated this stripper for a while and saw her and and she was so ripped from riding that pole that just like – when she's riding me, it's just like a wave of muscles that extend from her groin to the top of her shoulders. There are 15 different ways women could be hot to Kyle, and I think that's cool. 15 different ways women could be hot to Kyle. And I think that's cool. For me, the list is a little shorter. But I definitely don't write them off the list if they have a six-pack ab.

I think the thing that puts it over the edge for me is the veins. If your arms have veins like a fucking WWE wrestler. That's a little much. Yeah, that's a lot. Even a six-pack for me is too much on a girl, man. That's like if she does a lot of crunches and her shit looks flat and washboard or whatever, that's cool. But once it gets to the point where I look, I don't know. That's just my preference.

I like a girl to look like a fucking girl, man. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. I like the idea of some kind of like warrior woman who I think could totally knock me out with a right cross right now if she wanted to. But I also like the idea of a tiny little 95-pound girl who I could literally, I don't know, beat. She could give me everything she had, and I could kill her with one hand.

Yeah, come out a little more. Pow! Yeah, come on. Oh, not even close. Boom! No, no, not even close. All of those things are good. Yeah, no, I like him soft. I like him hard. I like this. This is a bunch of

different varieties. I mean, I think you guys are on the wiser side in this argument. You're giving yourself more options. You know what I mean? Yeah, you don't want to close yourself off to anything. I got one option, really. No, we're on... Don't listen to them. Wax, we're on the side where we don't think it through and we stand by it until the end. Don't option, really. No, we're on... Don't listen to them, Wax. We're on the side where we don't think it through

and we stand by it until the end. No Jews, though. Yeah. No Jews, though. I thought I misheard him. That's not true. Yeah, of course not. Yeah, I'm a good Jewish.

Do you justify it afterward? I did. Trust me, trust me. I did lead you, you know? I later did Jewish. You justify it afterward. I did. Trust me, trust me. I did live Jew, you know? I did. Anyway. I'm watching Olympics. They're legit unzipping each other's bathing suits.

Come on, come on. Let me get that link. Yeah, I'm not seeing that link. I see the other scores. Give me a direct link to that, please. All right. Oh, yes, I've seen this yeah this is great yeah so these are like dirty water polo tactics where you like you come up and like

give give each other wedgies and try to zip each other they have a big zipper along their like spinal cord and yeah women are just legit like yanking this is a great see this is a great sport right here anyone is the crowd watching along right now? I don't care what's going on above water. No, they're not. Because I don't know that it's not going to get X-rated. Go to women's water polo slash dirty plays underwater. The username is sports foxes.

Yeah, and this is pretty great. This is pretty hot. It's shot under the water and it's i don't know red team versus blue team whoever the fuck they are and it's just everybody has a wedgie everybody has a camel toe and all these women are doing their best to expose the other woman uh the other women uh and like fuck with them like dragging them underwater oh that's some elbows to the face at like 55 seconds. Sometimes they're just sinking each other. Holy shit.

Wow. I just saw the elbows you're talking about. Oh, I see vagina. Ah, vagina! What's the time stamp? Vagina at like 1.10. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right at the end there.

That's pussy! Pussy! Pussy at 1.10. 108's pussy! Pussy! Pussy at 110! 108 for those of you out there who want to find that woman wearing the red Speedos vagina. That sport is... There's so much more

going on there than literally what's above the surface. I think I'd like that sport. That lady, as soon as they get under 100, they're vicious. Just throw in the sport. That sport needs to be viewed like at the aquarium where you're underwater and they're up there. I would pay ten times as much to watch that sport from that viewpoint than from above the water where you just see, quite frankly, a lot of these women aren't very attractive. That always sounds so shitty. We make fun of guys for being ugly too. I think the thing to add in is

none of the women look good on swim day. They don't have makeup because it would run. They've got caps on. The things that they do to make themselves look their best are hard to pull off on swim day. Did you see that picture? it's like one swimmer myron uh another that chick looks like she put her makeup on that day or she's just a natural

fucking tin beauty like world-class beauty that that chick had a very perfect face and body yeah but a lot of these like women water polo ladies are fucking ripped and look they're more like but they're like scary they're this kind of scary bulky women that like don't really turn me on like i'm not into that i don't want you to be like bulky and scary um and a lot of them are that way but wow they even i'm looking at the thumbnail of that video we just watched and it's just ass it's just a big ass in the yeah that's that's a really... That thumbnail has a really thin, a very thin G-string-ish fucking... It's probably a wedgie.

She has a very long taint. That's about 8 pixels from porn. In a minute and 8 seconds, we get pornographic, right? Absolutely. That's good stuff. I like the Olympics. I'm glad to see that... So none of my... Not many of my predictions have come true thus far. Nobody's really...

No terrorist attacks. No terrorist attacks. No huge meltdowns. A bunch of little things. A bunch of reporters getting robbed. There was an Olympic athlete that got beat up. A judo guy. An Olympic judo silver medalist, if I recall correctly, got beat up and robbed. He's got the silver medal and a

black eye, but the black eye wasn't from his event. It was from being robbed. He was a bronze medalist. If you think the competition inside the Olympic Village is tough, you go outside. Those guys will whip your ass. They are a rough bunch out there.

I told them I was a judo guy, and they didn't even care. They used a knife. You want to say that's why he's the bronze medalist, not the gold medalist. I told them I was a judo guy, and they didn't even care. They used a knife. Right. Well, you want to say that's why he's the bronze medalist, not the gold medalist. Ah, gold medalist. Yeah, gold medalist would have been fine. He got his ass kicked by a dude on the beach.

That's funny. I think no terrorist attacks. I mean, Rio has a reputation of such kind of a dangerous place. Maybe even the terrorists didn't really want to fuck around with the locals. We're not going there. We'll get in trouble with the virus. Even ISIS doesn't want to take over Brazil because it's such a shithole. There's no sand.

Wait, there is sand. There's sand, of course. There's beaches. There used to be much, much more sand. I've got a friend. It is funny, though, them calling another place a shithole when their shit is Libya in the middle of the desert. Yeah. I got a friend that lives over there in Brazil.

He got one of those pocket Portuguese dictionaries and just fucking winged it and ended up marrying a woman whose father owns this big sugar plantation down there, and now he farms their giant sugar plantation and is in line to inherit it and uh and he's always like like really made a killing by by hooking up this portuguese lady and she or this brazilian lady they speak portuguese it's fucking so hot and i was like

do all the women down there look like that or did you just get a good one he was like they all look like that or did you just get a good one he was like they all look like that he's like well i'm gonna be honest with you they all look like that and i was like shit i want to go because her ass is so big and then like whenever i watch like um you know anything in brazil like like it seems like they always focus on the beaches with all the the nudity and the gigantic Brazilian women's asses. And that's always nice. I like that a lot. My brother lived in Brazil.

He lived in Rio for a year. And he said it's like that. He said the chicks are ridiculous. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think I'll be going anytime soon, though, because of the Zika virus and the gun battles and such. Dude, that's mean. There's gun battles in Los Angeles.

I still live here. Yeah, but not even like playing the same ballpark, much less playing the same sport as gunfights in Rio. There was a bus of Chinese reporters who got caught in the crossfire of a gun battle in Rio.

They could have the Olympics in LA and at no point would a bus load of Saudis get caught in the crossfire between a couple of gangs. I didn't hear about that. I didn't hear about the Chinese guys. Did you hear about the guy in the kayak who hit a couch

in the middle of his race and capsized? Yep. I did. He hit a couch under the water's surface and he just ran into it and capsized in this nasty-ass water. That's fucking... I'm looking that up immediately after this podcast. They say if you ingest one teaspoon of that water, you will get violently ill. Like, one teaspoon, that's all it takes.

Keep your mouth shut, guys. Everyone, keep your mouth shut. Even the Olympic poolsic pools are like green and disgusting and murky and stuff like that it was one of the teams i think it was the australians they were training with snorkels like doing their warm-up laps and stuff with snorkels on so that they didn't get any of the water in their mouth and nose that's you know what event the terrible place to be the event that i wanted to see and i don't think it's been broadcast i think they do like an open water swim right like there are some swimming competitions that would take place in

those disgusting rivers like there's no way to get around it and get in the pool they're just in that awful water and i haven't seen that anywhere because i think and correct me if i'm wrong here but the beginning of that event starts on the beach, and everybody runs out into the water and jumps into the water and then starts stroking. You would see them hit that foamy, disgusting stuff that's there by the beach, where the disgusting water, the waves lap the beach over and over and create that brownish-green foam. You would have to see all of that.

You'd have to see them running. And I'm thinking, what if they step on a glass bottle like fucking Samwise Gamgee out there and cut their foot halfway off oh that's a I don't know where the best place I think the next summer games are in Japan so I think I'll feel much more confident about that if I'm an Olympian. Shit, they got the fucking Fukushima radiation. Yeah, yeah, but that's... We won't go there.

No, you just avoid there. That's why there's no organics in the water. They're fine. It looks like it's... Shit, World Championships. I'm having a hard time finding the Olympic version. Yeah, there's a 10-kilometer race in the Olympics. It's open water.

I just don't know the date on it. You couldn't pay me to swim through 10 kilometers of that water. First of all, I couldn't do it. Second of all, if I could do it, I wouldn't do it. Because that sounds like a nightmare, swimming through 10 kilometers of that shit water with dead bodies in it there was a there's a race in ocean city that's 25 miles and um like it's too long i never swam 25 miles but a friend of mine did and uh he got last place but it turns out like every finisher gets like 500 and last place gets an extra thousand. And he was like, awesome.

He wasn't trying to get last, but he got the bonus money. I would be last every year. I'd say it was Ocean City. Take a boat like in Maryland. The first 24 miles. They swim around the whole island. The island's 10 miles long. Drinking all day.

Yeah. All day. You just show back up drunk. Yeah. I'd get on a boat and be like, maybe they're swimming across a lake or whatever. I'd be out there on a boat just drinking with my buddies. It's the end of the day. Like, all right, time to knock out this last mile.

No sweat. Just swimming all drunk, tired from your mile. Collect your extra $1,500. After attempting to cheat in a 25-mile swim where he reportedly drank with his friends to the point of inebriation, then tried to swim the last mile. Problem is, he went the wrong direction.

Yeah, that's what would happen. How long is 10 kilometers? Like 6.2 miles? Too long to swim. That's so long to swim. I swam a five-mile race once. It wasn't that bad. Jesus. That is far as shit to swim five miles yeah they did it notion City every they made this big deal I remember there was a guy

they're like a lot of people like entered it it was like 500 people or something they come from all over and this guy he used to train like on my I was a lifeguard on the beach got like 40th and they're like dude he's really something swimmer he got 40th whatever and I'm like 40th and they're like dude he's really a something swimmer he got 40th whatever and um uh i'm like 40th out of 500 like is that that big a deal and uh the the guard who was next to me was an older guy and he basically said that i couldn't do it and and i'm just like motherfucker you think i like you think i can't finish top like 10 in that race and uh so i just went out there and did it and i won't say that i didn't try like i was swimming hard but there was a point where i stopped and like fucked around with the people in the safety boats

and uh you know they they i asked them for a drink and they had fucking like vodka in there and i was like i thought it was gonna be water and i got third so i did pretty well wow very nice you drink the vodka like i thought it was water so once i realized it was vodka i was instantly like like like they fucked me up like i thought i was getting a little like sip of water because the the lifeguards would like yeah they just had all these boats along the way in case anyone got in trouble. And I didn't expect them to be out there getting drunk but that's what they were doing.

Of course. That seems to be a big part of boating. These were rowboats, man. Yeah. I mean, you gotta do something. Even more reason to drink. Fuck that.

When you get rid of drinking, the ocean becomes way more boring. Suddenly you're just surrounded by potential danger. There are critters out there that will poison me if I step on them or something. No, you need a little bit of beer. You do.

You guys want to wrap? Let me read this last little word from our sponsors here, and we'll get some... Let's see here. Yeah, thanks again to Loot Crate, the monthly subscription box for geeks, gamers, and pop culture nerds from bad guys doing good things for the wrong reasons

to good guys with questionable tactics. August is the perfect time to explore the anti-hero. Walk the hero-villain line with this 100% exclusive collection of items from DC Comics. Archer, Dark Horse, and Kill Bill that include two great collectibles, a wearable, and of course their monthly tee. And don't forget about the pin. You only have until the 19th at 9 p.m. Pacific time to subscribe and receive that month's crate. And when the cutoff happens, that's it.

It's over. So go to lootcrate.com slash painkiller and enter offer code painkiller to save $3 on your new subscription today. Very cool. Check them all out. Thank you so much, Wax. Wax, where can people find your stuff? What's that? Where can people find their stuff?

My main website is wax.com.com. That's W-A-X-D-O-T-C-O-M dot C-O-M. My Twitter and Instagram is at Big Wax, B-I-G-W-A-X. And if you want to just know a little bit of shit, just go to YouTube and type in Wax Rapper. I have a gazillion videos on there. Thanks, you guys. By the way, last time I was on here, I mentioned one of my videos, and so many fucking people watched it. I still, to this day, have a lot of people who have heard of me from you guys.

That's awesome. Dude, check out Ros that. That's awesome. Dude, check out Rosanna. That's my favorite. Wax and Herbal Tea is his YouTube channel, and the song is Rosanna. It has 37 million views, and one million of those are me. Really, really funny.

Very good video, gorgeous chick in it, and Wax makes it funny at the same time. Very good, very good. Thanks, man. All right, guys, PKA 295. Thanks, man. See you later.