Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #299

Episode Date: September 15, 2016

This week on PKA, the heavily requested OpTic Hitch joins the guys and they talk about pimples, the fat-shaming Playmate who's in some trouble, fast food tales & discussion about Call of Duty: Remastered.

Yeah, episode 299. We are live. Got a few sponsors tonight. Squarespace, MeUndies, Blue Apron, and also got some AMA questions to get to later. You can check that stuff out down in the description below. But for now, let's get right into it. Yeah, so we got a guest, Optic Hitch. I thought it was Hutch until I watched the video. I really thought it was the same person. And yeah, it's good to have you on, man. I like to think that his room was previously far messier and he tidied up for us. Yeah.

That's exactly what happened, actually. This is definitely not the cleanest it's been in like three months. It looks like there was just a violent struggle. Yeah. We tend to have wrestlers come over and we just have a free-for-all in each bedroom.

What's the canvas thing in the corner? What am I looking at? Is that soundproofing or just a picture? No, not soundproofing. Not that professional. Yeah, it was a canvas that was hanging up there, and then the very first week I moved in here, it fell on the floor, and I put it there, and it's been there for nine months now. That'd be a real half-assed soundproofing like where do you want the sound to not bounce maybe just the corner just this bottom right corner right beside the door it helps a lot man like i i let's see you guys can't see so for you guys yeah like those looking things that absorb sound i've got pictures like all over here and uh it what it is is you need to break up the big flat surfaces. That's how soundproofing works.

Even a bunch of pictures help out. It's like the quietest room in the world. It's this room that has a bunch of jagged edges on the side to absorb sound. Nothing echoes. Something on there was like you know people have been known to feel like they're going crazy and hearing voices if they stay in there for more than an hour and it was like no fucking way people are going crazy in a quiet room for an hour like have you ever read a book has anyone ever read a book you just sit there and there's no

no noise like i didn't buy that it It's funny that I watched a video. I forget who it is. There's two vloggers, and they bounce off each other really, really well. I'm sure some of my – whoever's watching this, leave a comment. But they went in a sensory deprivation unit. So it was like warm water. It was like a little pod, capsule-type thing, bigger than a human that they could go into, close the door. type thing, bigger than a human that they could go into, close the door, and both of them came out saying they were seeing colors, hearing sounds, like the sensory deprivation made them crazy.

Kyle, have you heard this before too? Oh yeah, I know all about this. So they've done all kinds of different experiments with sensory deprivation. One of them would be, because it's in the name, right, but they're depriving you of all your senses because you're just free floating in the water not touching not touching anything uh they did that stranger things with a weird like vertical design but what they used to do uh they really used to do is give people lsd while they were in there um the cia had that's what a bit of what stranger things is about is that whole cia program that really did exist back during the Cold War. I'm not remembering the name of the project right now, but yeah.

Sensory deprivation is an interesting thing. It sounds terrifying to me. It sounds like a terrible punishment if you really think about it. If you locked somebody in one of those things and just left them there. Yeah, it's kind of like being in the prison.

It's torturous. Taylor made a powerful argument. Like, when Kyle said, you know, oh my gosh, like, being, like, removed from everything is such a punishment, I'm like, I've really enjoyed my week offline. This has been fantastic. Yeah, but you're talking about being completely, you know, having no sense of what up and down

and left and right are hearing nothing not just not just not hearing you know the birds outside like hearing nothing and like feeling nothing as well not being in contact with anything except for the super super salty water that keeps you buoyant yeah then you're blind of course as well you're in the dark and you can't see anything but i was just talking about this one room where like you walk in and you know like 60 feet from you is a fucking like pepsi dispenser yeah that's bullshit yeah that's a quiet room is all that is that that's yeah that's just a very very quiet room so i really doubt that people are walking in there and getting so upset like can't you just talk to yourself it doesn't like if you open your mouth and speak sound comes out it doesn't see sound

well i think we're not supposed to and the other thing is i've heard not so much go crazy but they start hearing things they wouldn't otherwise hear like your pulse or um like if like maybe your knees creak but never loud enough for you to hear in normal life but if you go to maybe your soup pushes when your thighs rub together stuff like you know. Sounds from you that you don't normally hear. Don't wear a windbreaker and the sound deprivation room. It would ruin it. I don't know why that came up. I was just...

I was trying to think that. Yeah, how do we get out of that start? Have fun with it, that's all. Oh, real quick. Before we go further in the show. So I did a... Over on the podcast I do with Melissa, my girlfriend, Truly Terrible, we did a drinking episode.

And so if you want to check that out, just type in Truly Terrible, or maybe there's a link down there, maybe not. Just type in Truly Terrible Podcast and you'll find that on my channel. But people think it's funny, so hopefully you enjoy it. I did that last week. Last week I was like, you know, I made a homemade shotgun in my vlog. So, if you don't watch my stuff,

I want you to think they're all like that one If you're gonna check one out Think is that when you look at my channel and watch it go to the most recent one don't go to like fucking episode 8 Start there. You know you got it. It's just a bad day I'm just picking one out of the air, but just go to the recent ones because it improves every time It's like a solid trend up over the years. So it's a little weird to go back and listen to the first episodes of it and be like, oh, this is so stupid.

I'm an asshole. Like, why did I do this? I did it by myself. It is so hard to do podcasts by yourself. You did a podcast by yourself? You're just going to ramble. You do. I like that.

Bill Burrs is excellent. I love Bill Burrs. I love when he gets off on some tangent. Kind of like what we just did. We looked at your messy room there, and we saw that panel, and then it became a whole sensory deprivation CIA dark project, Cold War kind of Stranger Things stuff. It became a million times easier because you have someone to bounce off of.

But, yeah, check that out if you want. I think I'm the only guy that doesn't like Bill Burr's podcast. And the thing is, I used to love it. I started off thinking that just everything that came from that guy's mouth was brilliant. And the way he says it, right? Sometimes he has funny things to say. Sometimes he has that other skill where he can say things that aren't funny in such a funny way, they become funny. But now, usually when I listen to him, I get a segment.

I don't listen to him like every Monday all the way through. But they'll be like, hey, I went to a UFC fight. This was my experience. Or hey, I just did this and this is what I thought about that. I just got into an argument with this guy. Here's my side of it. The guy can't stay on topic. The guy just, he goes all over the place.

He digresses into craziness and it's like dude i'm here to know what you think about this and i really some reason i care about it and you're talking about shoes you're yeah you can't go into the bill burr podcast thinking that he's gonna really like elucidate some some facts or opinion that you just couldn't you know articulate like you're not gonna listen to it the same way you'd listen to a political commentator and be like, oh, wow, that's a really poignant way of thinking about it. He says stupid shit, and you laugh because you know it's stupid, and he knows it's stupid.

I hear where you're coming from. But think about the great stories that we've heard. Jim Jefferies took his handicapped friend to a brothel, right? Or the machine, right? You guys know these stories. I like Jim Jeffries, like, with the two chicks and the cocaine story better. Okay. Well, imagine if he digressed for, like, 8 to 12 minutes about the shoes he was wearing, and you would have his typical Monday podcast.

It's totally kind of true, though. Yeah, good and bad. See, if Pilgrim just told you the story, you wouldn't laugh at all, because it's not a funny story. Yeah, good and bad. See, if Gilbert just told you the story, you wouldn't laugh at all because it's not a funny story. What's funny is the way his mind like just delves and dives and all of a sudden he'll be upset with the people who create – that work at – you know what? Let me tell you about Adidas real quick. They're the real cocksuckers and you're like, oh, tell me more about Adidas.

I don't really even care about that run you went on. And Woody's like, wait, you went for a run. Tell me more about that. Yeah. And in the end he's going to tell you, yeah, my run up i was i was crazy sweaty and i fucked my girlfriend sweaty what can i say it's what i do it's funny because the same thing happens to me on this show it'll be like all right everybody let's talk about like i don't know the time we were most scared or some stupid fucking topic like that two or three of us will say it and then it won't get around to the last

one because it just flew You know flowed to something and I'm like no that sucks like I really wanted to hear hitches most scared moment But it just goes away sometimes I don't mind when that happens because it'll be the best and I don't know sometimes and it'll in woody will give an answer and Then Kyle will give one in the middle of Kyle's answer. I'll go okay. I can capitalize on that We'll move in a different direction you know because my answer would be like or like two out of three of us have a wealth of knowledge and experience about this one thing what he's like oh let me tell you the story about the time i was in la and i'm like well let me tell

you about the story about the time i was in la and it was like i'd never been to la you know there's no point in taylor jumping in at the end. You know what I mean? Well, that's a Taylor-made example. That was a Taylor-made example, huh? It's like three puns in one. But yeah, really, I think it speaks to how we're wired a little bit differently and what we're looking for from storytelling. I don't want a guy to go off on some topic and forget the primary subject here. To me, that's just bad storytelling.

That's disorganized thought processes. Different kind. I think it's a different kind because it's about what's funny about the story. Sometimes just the individuals and the happenings within the timeline of the story are what make it funny. Guy plus girl plus mud puddle plus dog pissing on his leg equals funny. But sometimes that's not true. Sometimes it's more funny to stop and talk about, I don't

know, chivalry in general at that moment and start going off on chivalry instead of telling the story about the dog and the girl in the puddle. Yeah, I would want completion and then next topic. Not fucking insert. Ah, my phone.

Not this. So you're the terminator of storytelling. No, I want them sequentially. Even when I eat my dinner, right? This side, this side, main dish, that side, right? Hitch is with me here. Yeah, that's something I don't't do podcasts so i'm just learning like i'm just sitting back and learning all of you guys's knowledge of podcasts well you've

come to the wrong place to learn about podcasts well we're about eight minutes in so we should be wrapping up our knowledge on podcasts you know the key is to get on the internet and spout off about things you don't fully understand and then have response positions about things that don't matter and that would literally be divisive so you don't know what you're talking so you eat your food like like it's a homework assignment where you're like first i do math and then history and then literature or whatever it is like you don't just kind of eat around frequently i do yeah you know it's not every time like i don't like i'm not stuck about it but but yeah and oftentimes like sometimes i take heat for it people be like dude you have

some potatoes you know what i will get to the potatoes when i'm goddamn ready for the potatoes i'm working on the peas right now you know i don't have to have all that shit on my plate at once you count them when you eat them? Peas? No. That would be loony. That would be crazy. That's where loony begins. But yeah, there's probably other people out there the same way. They're like, yeah, I like to

eat one of these things at a time. You finish it, then you move to the next one. And then there are some, I'll admit, that are meant to be combined. Sometimes you have to do that because you have to panic eat foods because some of them don't hold their temperature well. So, like, if I've got a baked potato there, I know I can wait an hour and a half and that thing is still going to be fucking hot.

But if I've got some, like, mushrooms or something, like, I've got to immediately start wolfing those down or they're going to turn into cold kind of sludge in about ten minutes. Three or four weeks ago, I was eating this crappy meal. It was cold, whatever. And I'm reading on my computer on the left.

I'm eating from my right. And because I was distracted and not fully paying attention. You ate your computer. I've done the same thing. I bit my fork. You're not far off. I bit my fork. Oh, that hurts so much.

I chipped my two front teeth. And I had to go to the dentist to have them repaired. And now, it's been like a month, and I still have this post-traumatic stress disorder from the time I chipped my two front teeth. And every bite, I'm like, careful. Like, don't eat your fork, Woody. You got this. Don't eat your fork.

And I'll just like... You get those rubber-covered utensils they give babies. Have you ever just slipped down your stairs? Like, you've been running down the stairs and you just slip and just pop up up up up up I like you all pretty hard It's like when you do something that you've been doing your whole life without mistakes and then you suddenly just call your entire being into question when you fuck up on something as Fundamental as eating off of a utensil or walking down the stairs and then for like the next couple months like every time you get on

The stairs it's like well you know 2015 Taylor wouldn't have needed a handrail but let's just be sure not as invincible as I thought it was. I'm a stair master man if I fall down stairs I have never hurt never hurt people are like you okay I'm embarrassed that you asked that. You asked if the stairs are okay, bitch. Any kind of stairs. They could be cement stairs, metal stairs, wooden stairs, carpet covered stairs. It doesn't matter.

If I fall down the stairs, I am good every time. So usually the fall that I take is I'm rushing down the stairs on my heels, and the one heel slips, and so that means your legs go out straight, and you fall on your butt and your thighs, and you b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b all the way down. I've done that on wet metal stairs at a boat dock. I've done that on, like, mildew-covered wet wooden stairs that were slippery, and I've also done that on concrete stairs i've taken a lot of fall falls downstairs now that i think about it um i do it a lot never once ever

have i gone like head head over heels because that's the scary fall that's that grandma in the night life alert time kind of fall when you're when you're like oh let me turn around and pull the chain and she pulls the chain it breaks off and she wasn't expecting that and she just tumbles backwards down eight nine fucking steps that's never happened to me um kitty however fell down our steel fucking spiral staircase

at our last house that went from like the the downstairs level to the the main level and i can't even imagine how you fall down a spiral staircase slowly yeah like like cannot die right like every you're constantly falling back into the main level, and I can't even imagine how you fall down a spiral staircase slowly. You cannot die, right? You're constantly falling back into steel, but she went all the way down that thing like a pinball and was laying

at the bottom, splayed at. Cool! I got this headset on playing fucking COD 4, so I'm just like frag times three, bitch. Fuck you, fuck you. I don't hear any of it. She laid down there for a long time. You know what happens to me when I fall downstairs?

I recognize I'm falling. I take a wider stance like a surfer in a big YMA wave, and then I start going down on my feet like a rollerblader. So it sounds like I'm falling down my my stairs but it's just on my feet roller blading down the stairs without roller blades that's you have a lot more control over your falls than i have i've i slipped down the stairs and did the the butt bump like uh in middle school and i did that like with my backpack on in front of people like and in middle school if you do something like that that's humiliating i honestly had to have like an internal dialogue of like like is life gonna get that much better after this or should i just just walk into traffic right now

and never turn around like what there are no options the most real stairfall for me is like whenever you're running up the stairs and then you're like the beginning of your toes slip off and then you have that moonwalk down the stairs. I usually always have something so that goes flying and then I just have to reposition myself on the stairs. That at least happened like six times.

It always happens when you're trying to run up the stairs. You'll watch the NFL combine and you see those guys just barely tipping their toes like right up the stairs and you see those guys like we just barely tipped in their toes like Like right up the stairs and you're like I'm like that and so you start trying it and then of course you get a little bit too much gumption catch that one toe and And suddenly you're that entire illusion of athleticism is shattered You know what the worst kind of stairs to fall down with you the escalator The escalator because that's a stair that fights back

You know like if you're good if you're trying to go down an escalator that's going if you're falling down an escalator because that's a stair that fights back you know like if you're going if you're trying to go down an escalator that's going if you're falling down an escalator that's coming up like it's kicking your ass as you fall that is the worst kind of stairs in the corner of those escalators not to be fucked yeah yeah yeah i've seen some horrible things happen to people in escalator accidents i guess in china that's usually where it seems to be like just people getting sucked into the mechanism and, like, rolled up and stuff. It's always terrible. I did see a video of that

from China. I think it was actually a child. Looking back, I don't know why I clicked on that and thought it wouldn't be exactly what the title said. Child sucked into the escalator. Well, couldn't possibly actually suck a child. Oh! Okay. Wow. It's got her! My mom used to warn me about that as a kid

you know like you like you should teach me to take the step to not mess around with that seam where it goes underneath and you know so for like years i would carefully do that and then it was like mom look you've been wrong all this time i can stand right on this thing look nothing happens as the thing like goes into can jam my little finger into the ground. That sounds... Wow, I wonder if 30 years from now the world will be bumpered and safe enough that escalators are a thing of the past.

No way. There's nothing wrong with the escalator. I think the American escalator has some safety features that the Chinese escalator really just doesn't have I really believe that because I Mean I imagine that maybe a shoelace could get pulled in and that could be a problem for a child But I feel like as a grown like adult that I have enough power in my leg and body that I'm just gonna snap that Shoelace off before it takes me in all right

That's just what's gonna happen where you just take the shoe off because you're a big boy. Because I imagine it like this. It's tightening the laces and grabbing your foot. You can't get it off like a boot or something. I think you've got to grab your whole foot and snap that thing back. But it's like sharp inner workings that's supposed to grab this boot. I wish we had an escalator.

I see it taking care of itself. Your foot is on the ground. It's pulling your lace and then the lace breaks. Unless you've got some sort of space-age carbon fiber laces that are guaranteed not to snap, then I feel like it'll just pull a little bit and then you'll be a little more upset about the fact

you have to buy new laces than any danger. I really doubt that Ukraine and Russia, countries like that, have any fucking safety on their public little mall transport like that. Do they even have malls in Russia? Do they have enough things to sell? I don't know. It's just, like, six tracksuit stores and anti-ants.

I know they're still mall. In Russia, when they first dropped the Iron Curtain, the stores were not what you'd expect in America. They didn't have advertising storefronts. They'd just be in apartments and random restaurants. Here in America, if you're a storefront, you need to get attention and draw people in. In communism, they didn't really give a fuck about that. Because there was no competition. It was all planned economy.

Yeah, yeah. But that's been gone for a while now, so I imagine malls and attractive storefronts and stuff are the norm. Yeah, I'm sure they've got it by now, but there are videos of like, maybe it was Gorbachev or someone, maybe not Gorbachev, coming over to US supermarkets and being

like, oranges in September? Absolutely crazy. Where are and being like, oranges in September? Absolutely crazy. Where are they getting these fucking oranges? We have potato all year. Yeah, I know. So I think it was Reagan who had him over. And I don't remember if it was Boris Yeltsin or Gorbachev.

But they came over and we showed him like an American supermarket. And he was shocked. Shocked. He thought it was a scam. Yeah. So as they're driving, he's like's like hey pull over at this supermarket he wanted to pick a pick one at random to prove that no that's a Kmart we're gonna keep going but a big one I ran and approved that our supermarket markets were actually

stocked with food like that and as any American knows like there's not yeah we don't really we have plenty of food here. It would be a huge conspiracy of planting fat people if it were a conspiracy. We have so many copies of things that no one wants. It's absurd. There'll be 50 cans of pickled eggs. We have everything.

The challenge here is not eating. It sort of shattered his idea of communist superiority. Mm-hmm. Yeah yeah because i bet their grocery stores looked like i bet that their special like uh russia supreme grocery store that they have set up to trick dignitaries from other nations wasn't half as nice as like a fucking hy-v or a winco or a costco or anything like that yeah but, we do that well. We're real good at stocking grocery stores.

It's our core competency. And de-stocking. Yeah, yeah. So Hitch, you played COD 4? The new one? Yeah. Did I play it at XP? Yeah, yeah, I did. I played at least... I went back to the tent like three or four times.

So you got a lot of time in the first COD 4 or not so much? Yeah, like, I went back to the tent like three or four times. So you got a lot of time in the first COD 4 or not so much? Yeah, yeah. I played, I started playing towards the very end of like, or towards the beginning of Modern Warfare 2, so I went back and played COD 4. I didn't play it during its time, but I

really, really do enjoy the game. Yeah, that's my Modern Warfare 2 experience. Like, I wasn't a Modern Warfare 2 guy when it was hot. But COD 4 got so exhausting for me that I played it then. So you know COD 4. You know the new COD 4. Impressions? Differences?

Yeah, I think it's literally the same exact game. Except it feels a little different. It feels more like modern warfare 2 in my opinion like you feel like lighter and your bullets hit like you're like in cod 4 you kind of have to like lead your shot like a tiny bit uh especially with the snipers but in this one it hits just like modern warfare 2 and uh the the guns sound different but other than that it's the same maps and the same game modes and the same perks and everything. Did you use any snipers? Because we were watching one clip

that showed a slower ADS, but then a bunch of people were saying that was BS and that it's actually the same. I always use the R700. I used it probably two or three lives, just because I wanted to use the MP5 the whole time. But yeah,

I think it's the same ads like i said the only difference that i could really tell is that it feels like whenever you shoot it feels more like an intervention like as far as like when the bullet connects from one or two rather than the r700 from cod 4 but that's not really that big of a deal i don't think you were like the did anybody like the r700, that thing was a hit marker machine. Because it was just like an M40A3 with less capacity

and less damage when it mattered, it seemed like. Yeah. If I think correctly. It did look cooler. Yeah, I think I liked it. It was like a 1.1 torso multiplier. Yeah, and I think it got a fraction of the less hit markers

against Juggernaut, if I remember correctly. So that's why I started using it. And I started using it because I used to watch these PC montages and this sniper named Stevie used to use the R700 a lot. It's the best looking of them.

Especially in Blue Tiger. It's really nice. I think the scope might go Blue Tiger too or something. It's a really good looking gun. I saw that Domination you now switch sides. I thought that was a good addition. So you're going to have to play the bad side of Bog now and see if you can handle that.

I think that'll be fun. I did see that the gun sounds were different, especially the Desert Eagle. It sounds more like the modern warfare 3 uh desert eagle um but it looks great uh it looks like a lot like a lot of fun i'm i'm curious to see just how many people are going to be over over there playing call of duty 4 remastered or modern warfare remastered versus how many people are going to be playing call of Duty 22 or whatever is also coming out this year. That I don't even know. Advanced Warfare, is that what it's called? Yeah, Infinite Warfare.

I would have helped you if I could. I don't give a fuck. Is that the one this year? No, it's called Battlefield 1. That's the one I'll be playing, and it's Modern Warfare Remastered. That's what I'm into. And it's Modern Warfare Remastered. That's what I'm into. I've really enjoyed watching all the footage this week from everybody from Hutch to that Optic Homage, I guess maybe his name is. Just great, great footage.

Got to see a lot of sniper footage. Hutch did like a COD commentary, which was fun and refreshing to watch. Did you? I only saw the title of it. Hutch made a video called like No Bullshit, How Is It? Did you watch that? Yeah, I watched it. What was the summary like what was your takeaway from that commentary and the game and he thinks it's exactly like cod for with him except with some

improvements great save me a click one crazy with a he's got a silenced p90 I think in that video running around have you know getting a lot of kills doing well yeah that's the game i'm probably most excited for the more it gets close like i was sure that it was going to be you know some computer game because i'm trying to get into that more now as you guys know since kyle and i are playing more but just the more like watching little clips of old cod 4 online it's just like oh man this game was just so much fucking fun i can't wait to play with like hopefully a similar group of people as i played cod 4 with which is to mean a bunch of people who are decent at the game oh we're going to recruit people this is going to be good so so i already messaged uh socrates and impulse uh because i still got them on

on skype i'm like do you still play call of duty because i want to get them but yeah we've got the the pk fan base to recruit from we'll get some of the we'll get a couple of 3kd players 4kd players something like that exactly and uh i looked at my friends list not long ago i still have like all the like legends from optic on there you know like nade shots on there rambo's on there merc is on there you know i've got there. There's no reason that I have to lose. That's a choose

to really. The friends I'm excited about reaching out to like Kyle did, they're not actually as good as me, but I really enjoyed their company. I want to do that again too. Where do you stack up in the video game skill rankings in the house like are you

definitely at the bottom or are you because you you don't you you're the senior editor like you're not playing in the competitions right right yeah i'm not playing uh i mean i stream and i i've played call of duty forever that's how i got it i was like a i started playing call of duty before i started uh shooting videos and then I just kind of like used that as a way to get into the scene so so it's like I'm like no stranger to the games but I mean

as far as COD is concerned yeah I'm probably at the bottom because they play literally 8 to 10 hours a day every single day except for like the Halo guys I'm probably better than them actually I'm definitely better than them do they bitch and moan during the day sometimes the way people do with like traditional jobs like they'll come out in the kitchen be like oh god i just can't get this gameplay such bullshit what a day like all stressed out or is it mostly well it's mostly the

competitive players do that a lot they're just like oh i can't believe i have to scram we're playing like this team. That's not nearly as good as us. It's going to be a waste of time. And they just like, they like, I don't know. There's,

there's things to bitch about. They, they will, they will find things to bitch about. Dude. Yep. People do that. I was there.

No, I, I was never a pro player anywhere near that, but I feel like I felt the same pressures. Like, Oh fuck. You know, like I feel like I felt the same pressures. Like, oh, fuck. You know, like, I have to get a gameplay. My fucking subscribers have all fussed about my five favorite guns,

so now I have to get a gameplay with, like, the Scorpion or fucking something like that. And, like, I don't know. Things are going wrong. I'm getting murdered by a FAMAS repeatedly. And, like, it's been an hour, and I don't know. Things are going wrong. I'm getting murdered by a FAMAS repeatedly. And it's been an hour and I don't have any games. I just felt the pressure

of that. Getting bad games in COD when you were trying to get a gameplay way back in the day, it was kind of like ruining a diet or overeating. If you had one bad fuck-up, you just never came back from it, at least that day. If you had two back-to-back shit,

like one KD games, it's kind of like just giving in and having two pieces of pie at 9pm. It's like, you're not saving yourself. May as well have a third. Penny in for a pound. Monomorph for two was the... Monomorph for two was the easiest, I thought, to get gameplays in.

The way that the killstreaks work, if you could get to the Predator, you could get to thestreaks work like if you could get to the predator You could get to the Harrier And if you could get to the Harrier you could get to that chopper that took like three missiles to take down And then with those three killstreaks, you're probably like 30 and 2 at this point and that's enough That's enough for me. You know like I was there like to play really high high risk reward with that. I would I would run What was the the-kill streak helicopter? The Pave Low. Pave Low, yep, yep.

Yeah. I think my kill streaks were like Harrier, Pave Low, Chopper Gunner. So if you ever get it, you really wreck house. Your kill streaks alone are going to get you like a dozen to maybe 20 kills. But getting to that seventh kill was just rough sometimes in mine mine was just a step easier it would be like predator harrier pavlo and you can get to five you know like you like it won't take you more than a game or two to get to the predator and then you got a 50 50 shot from getting the predator to the pavlo because

your kill streaks are stacking and it was easy to get decent games that's another thing that uh hutch explained uh in his video was that once again kill streaks will get you kill streaks so you know you go in there earn your helicopter with your seventh kill streak and then you know play a little more reckless now until you die. Respawn, call that helicopter in. Oh, they did that? Yeah. Oh, I love that. I always thought that was an accident.

Uh-uh. Get up in your sniper tower, pick off two more people. All of a sudden, eee, eee, eee, eee. Now you're on a four-kill streak. All right, get one more. All right, there you go. Airstrike, call it in. Another helicopter.

Now just save that until you die again and just keep them rolling. It's going to be fun. I wonder. Now, this is something you die again and just keep them rolling. It's going to be fun. I wonder. Now this is something I didn't like about COD 4. If you earned, say, a UAV and then you earned an airstrike. You lose it. Is that the case again? Yeah, it's still the same.

I made sure to check that. All right. That was one of the things. I thought that was a mistake too. If I called it an airstrike and then I was like, okay, I have a UAV and then I would just spam the right D-pad and I was like, it's just gone.

I just completely lost it somewhere. That's something that I'm kind of happy that they're still doing though because it's almost like keeping something that's outdated and shitty in it. Just to remind you, like, okay, this really is kind of like a game. I'll look at this stupid shitty mechanic.

It's still here. You press up on the D-pad, night vision, day or night, he don't care. I saw Hutch accidentally hit it. You press down on the D-pad. Here's an addition, though. He does a weapon inspect a la Counter-Strike. The MP5, I saw he does a pretty nifty one. He pops the mag out, twirls it around

once in his hand, and pops it back in. But with most weapons, he takes a look at it, turns it over, he chambers around in the Desert Eagle. It's definitely going to be an addition to montages and for montage makers to do some sort of weapon inspect and then have that flow into something, I'm sure.

I can just see him jumping off that really tall building in... What is it? Crash? Yeah, Crash. Jump off, weapon inspect, get a shot. That'd be pretty neat. They're spinning super fast. You gotta hit the pallet down below so you don't take the fall damage. Do a bounce or something on Crash.

Oh, the bounces are still there? I don't think the elevators are there. It doesn't look like you can get under Overgrown, which is a big concern. I'm wondering if you can get... There's a little known one on Crash. On the backside of Crash, the part that kind of heads downhill,

there's some barrels over to the right by some concrete steps, and if you lay down prone and crawl into those barrels, and then stand up, you're... For everyone else, you're prone, but for you, you're standing up.

So you can just stand there and pick people off. Which map? Crash. Crash? Yeah. Where are the barrels? By the helicopter in the corner? When you go into the big tower in the middle, not the side with the helicopter on it, the other side down the hill, if you look to the right, there's a small little patio with a few stairs going up and a couple

of oil barrels adjacent to that. Yeah. it's very close to that little dumpster that you hop up on to see over the wall like if you get off that dumpster turn around the barrels are right there um and but anyway there was a little glitch where you know you crawl wedge yourself in and then you you stand up and you're you're you're seeing i don't know i played the game those are the glitches that i really hope they got rid of but the ones i hope they left in there are the ones like on um ambush where you can like sprint jump and rpg jump up into certain places i like that but none of the hide under because you can still get shot you can still get

shot from where you are and die then i don't think of it as that bad of a glitch but if you're a douche who's like fading into an oil barrel and just getting a huge kill streak because nobody can do anything about it they keep running at you with grenades trying to like cook it and kill that you too but it doesn't work like that that's aggravating about ambush though you don't want to leave in the map because that sucks too now stay in the map but if you leave the map the same thing you can't kill them anymore you know like you can still oh maybe we're thinking about different ones no if you leave the map you know especially if you have a sniper you can usually pick off that pixel way in the

distance it's just hard and it's difficult to recognize where they are and and it completely disrupts the gameplay you're like i'm trying to play domination here not focus on that guy who's hiding inside of a building up on the mountaintop over there, which is what you would do. You'd go into the 3D model and you'd realize it wasn't a 3D model. It was just this thing that... It's a two-way mirror, really, because it appears matte

finish, bricks on one side, but from the other side, you just see right through this translucent object and sniped people. It was not fair. Not cool. So hopefully that's gone. I bet you can still do it, honestly. It'll be interesting to see how much people love COD 4, because COD really did make some improvements, especially in

map balance over the time. And I know a lot of times we were on the good side of it. In my COD 4, I started terrible, and then by the time the game was phasing out, I was above average. And so I spent a fair amount of time getting crushed on Ambush.

You know, just pinned down there, helicopters coming in all the time. And in more recent games, you just don't get that abused. You know, the spawns will flip. Things will happen. Map balance, that's a good point to bring up like the map that jumps out at me from cod forth that is bog since bog was like if you got the good side you could

even if you were playing exactly maybe you're a little bit worse maybe your team you know is a little bit worse than the other guys but if you have a good control over them and saying like hey just go stand there watch this area do this do that if you start if you spawned on the right spot and domination in bog you were going to win. Like, it's just, it was like they made that map and were like, should we make this balanced? Oh, no, nobody's going to care. Yeah, you have to flip the spawn in that one.

And that's one good reason why now spawns are going to flip as they do in modern CODs and Domination games. First we play the good side of Bog, and then we play the bad side of Bog. And I've played the bad side of Bog. It requires you to use teamwork to get on the good side of bog and then we play the bad side of bog and i've played the bad side of bog it it requires you to get to use teamwork to get on the good side of bog like that that's what you do um although we have spawn trapped and you know in yeah back behind the brick wall as well too you can always turn it around you just have to be better than them and but it is a disadvantage um and bog is the Bog is the biggest example of that.

I think maybe... I always don't remember this name. It's a rainy map where there's a hole you have to crawl through in the wall. No. It's a rainy map where you have to crawl through a hole in the wall. And there's some silos. No. No, it's not vacant.

Downpour. Downpour. Downpour. Yeah. Downpour is a one-sided map. If your teammates know not to push past a certain point, if you just keep them back on their side of B, on the other side of that wall,

it's a very one-sided map. And you get your defenders on the backside of Grandma's. Not in Grandma's, on the backside of it, looking through the windows, through the house, through the door. You can lock that whole map down. I'm looking forward to maps that allow you to really spawn trap the fuck out of people

and farm them for XP like their single player character models. That's what I always enjoyed. I like when people quit and then they have to That was the occurrence. Do you guys remember how often people would quit? The entire team would quit out and you'd sit around.

We would change our classes because that extends the reload timer so the game doesn't end. You just change your classes and it resets in another 10 or 15 seconds. And we'd sit there and wait on some new group of people to join in. And sometimes it'd be a full party and all of a sudden they just get thrown in, you know, down 50 points, bad side of bog, and it begins again. And as soon as they spawn in we've been holding our air support a helicopter goes up a uav goes up an airstrike hits on the other hand you see you know xx you know 69 or 15 has left the game you know all of them immediately leave on dude another the the some of the best gaming moments though came from

the other side like you walk into some domination, you're down like 145 to 30, and it's like, oh, these fuckers think that we walked into a bad situation. Oh, you walked into a bad situation. And then you just turn it around and, you know, you get whatever, 170 points before they can get 60. And that, those were the, you know, of course it didn't happen much, but that was glorious. I was a huge rage quitter back in the, not even rage.

I was like mild grievance quitter. Like one little, like I hop in and somebody gets me with a good grenade just before even the conscious thought of that sucks is in my head. It's, you know, start up A know like i'm already out of there because it was like i don't care if my win loss is bad my win loss was horrific dude like if you just saw my win loss stat you'd be like this poor guy but at least they're letting quadriplegics play though you know like it was just abysmally bad but who who really cares about that? I had this stupid honor code that really made my life harder where I would try to win every game.

I would sacrifice my own KDR. I would throw myself on flags. If there was a 50-50 shot of getting this flag, I'd give it a go. Whereas everyone else is just playing TDM and Domination. I was really trying to win all the time. And I remember other guys. I guess I'll just say it. I'm thinking of Whiteboy.

Whiteboy would quit every game so much all the time. He put up a video once. He was running last stand. And if he got put into last stand, he could rage quit before they got a kill on him, which is actually pretty impressive rage quitting right there. As he's dropping to his butt, he's out of the game, no kill and yeah, but like that

I had this stupid honor code and also I just play fewer games an hour like, you know, people would start off a game like 5-1 for example, and they'd be like, oh fuck it, start over again you know, if you're not starting off 25-0 then it's not a good game and me, you know, I'm starting off

like 2-3, well I'm gonna see this thing through, maybe we can get a win like, fuck made everything so hard I liked easy wins with good players I didn't enjoy games where it was like man, we are fucking neck and neck with these guys

it was a little bit of fun, but I liked it mostly when it was like, hey, look at this. Look at this. This guy's completely stuck here. They can't get out from behind this wall. Look at that guy. He just appeared in that building. Oh, he just got a collateral because the spawn fucked up. Oh, this is great. Oh, I'm having fun. That was the fun part of COD 4. I liked that part a lot. I really did.

But I also liked the competitive parts when we were playing against people and it was hard. I played more Search and Destroy than anything it seemed to be where the better player were better players were toward the end of the game everybody was using dead silence uh you know everybody was using headsets and uh we would run into people that we played in game battles and public matches and it was i loved that because that was there were some high intensity moments when you're the all right all alright marine you're the last one get it done and you're like fuck

alright there was no skype calls or anything like literally you were talking at a party or you were talking in game chat and as soon as you're last alive like it's just silence it's sensory deprivation you know everybody's watching you that's the big pressure right like it's not just

playing hoping to win it's everyone's watching you. That's the big pressure, right? It's not just playing hoping to win. It's everyone's judging you. Everyone sees exactly what you're seeing. They know your decision making. You know, the hint of a Claymore Red Trail would taper off, but sometimes it'd be barely visible. And it's like, if you don't see that, but your teammates do, there was a lot to it.

It was fun. Sometimes it was like, not fun, but if you're in a Search and Destroy party like that, and you're the last one, and you don't know anybody in your party, sometimes it was a little bit funny just to quit from there. I hate you. I've never done anything

like that in my life. You're the last one left, comrade! Now they're the last ones left like you know that round oh there were so many mean people in search and destroy because i wasn't good enough at search that like it was it was rare that i'd be the last guy and actually put together a little chain of like bop bop bop bop oh wow four of them well done usually it was like i get maybe one or i like start shooting them and i get so in my own head of like all right there's a couple hit markers oh i miss and you know that point in your head in COD where you're shooting to the left of their body but it's like someone else is controlling your hands and you're like oh I know I'm not gonna

get them oh god why even bother and then you're dead you know what I mean dude Rambo did an analysis of um search and destroy with another player it's a long video I'm gonna call it like 30 or 45 minutes and it's like his thought process on how he plays search super eye-opening it's probably two years old now but um it's the greatest search strategy video ever made according to me and it's so hard to be patient in search that's the biggest problem for me with it is that you get like i played domination 95 of the games i play so i get in the habit of like all right i sprint forward if i die on the way to this point who cares but if i make it to that point it's going to be a huge benefit if we can't be right off the start and so you try and

do that in search and people are just so meticulous and like surgical with like they'll walk like six feet forward from where their spawn point is and you'd be like oh right okay there's that idiot again like in every sprint i'm like maybe i can beat him like before you can the upside of infinity war games is b dom is pretty much protected on every map across every infinity war game right treyarch dude track i love you but your domination maps are fucked. They'll be like, all right, we're going to have five elevated positions, windows all looking at some open field, and we'll put B-Dom in the middle of that field. So it's a fool's errand to try to take that.

And if you think about Treyarch maps, again and again, there's no cover. But if you think about Infinity Ward maps, like Crash, there's protection right there. Overgrown, it's right's protection right there overgrown It's right next to those steps. I mean I could go through the whole list In vacant that one's a little tough, but it's at least it's in indoors is vacants the one we lost It's tough shotgun and so it's showdown block is tough, but even block you've got small walls next to you and like Smoking walls and and you've got a thing.

Wait, am I mixing up, I'm thinking, what's the gray one? No, you're all good. No, you're right. What's the gray one? Block is the one that's at night, Showdown's the one that's in the day. They both have statues in the middle

with a little thing. Okay, yeah. But anyway, you could just go through the whole list, and there's usually, like, some clever places to cap B-Dom in Infinity Ward games,

and not the case in Treyarch games. I'm really looking forward to playing the game though. I'm glad to see that it looks virtually untouched. There's a few little things that I wish were completely untouched. I wish even that the delay between weapon fire and weapon impact was still there because that's part of the feel of the game. So that's not there, but I'm definitely really pumped for the game.

That and Battlefield 1, man. I keep watching these Battlefield 1 videos and it looks like so, so much fun. I don't know. Sometimes he's playing by himself and it looks fun when he's playing by himself. So I think I need to... I'm definitely going to get it. And then Civ, of course.

Definitely going to get Civ. So I've got a bunch of games I'm going to be playing this fall. I need to watch some LevelCap videos. He's like the Battlefield guy on YouTube. He'd be the one to watch LevelCap, see what he thinks of it. The guy I've been watching, I think, is British and pretty funny. And he'll have, you know, his 20-minute video might have like 15 cool things he did in it. And it's just him and his, it's usually him by himself having fun or him and his friends having fun. And just like riding in on the horse with a sword and like coming up behind three guys who don't know you're there.

And he just gets a triple kill slashing their throats. The aircraft looked really fun. You know, they're World War I aircraft, so they're like balsa wood, and they're like... They have really low firepower, but it looked like a lot of fun. I don't know if I'm going to be spending a lot of time playing that game,

but I'm going to spend some time on it. But COD Remastered and Civ VI are probably going to soak up a lot of my free hours. I don't mean to go too far out of my expertise, but Battlefield has these higher highs and lower lows, right? hours. I don't mean to go too far out of my expertise, but Battlefield has these higher highs and lower lows, right? Like, I don't know. When crazy things happen

with the mechanics of C4 and things bounce in the air, wild things, like, only Battlefield has that. But then the lower lows, you know, are like the hiking and the, you know, there can be slow moments too. So, yeah. Yeah.

So that's that. I watched Sausage Party yesterday. Have you seen that yet? No, but it's on my list. Did you enjoy it? I thought it was just okay. It seemed like once they got beyond the basic premise, which is that all of our foods and and and the grocery store items are

sentient beings and that believe that when they're purchased they go to the great beyond and they think of us as gods once you get past that idea they didn't have anything else to go on other than like some race racial stereotypes and like gay stereotypes and stuff like that to play off of like you know there's a douche, uh, like, like he's literally a douche, uh, you know, with a nozzle and everything. And of course he's like a Guido Italian, like party boy, like, yo, I'm pumped, bro. I'm pumped up. Yeah. And he's just like, he's, he's a douche. He's literally a douche. He's like, he's talking about getting

up in that jizz. He's like looking at the woman who bought him, like staring at her camel toe, like, Oh yeah, bro. Getting up in there. And so he's just a complete like asshole he's kind of the villain of the thing and you know there's a lesbian taco um who who is really into the bun she wants to go down on the bun um and you know uh let's see oh there's um there's a bagel who's a jew of course and uh whatever that uh arabic like flatbread thing that they make falafel or something, there's a bagel who's a Jew, of course. And whatever that Arabic flatbread thing that they make. Falafel or something? Yeah, but a falafel is the whole thing. The bread itself has some name.

He's just the Arabic tortilla. Yeah, kind of. And so he and the bagel are very stereotypical. They hate each other. They're fighting for position in their aisle because they're on the same aisle. typical they hate each other they're fighting for position in their aisle because they're on the same aisle you know just like the wet and they're they're making these parallels between the west bank situation and their their aisle in the in the in the the grocery store but it was just okay i would wait for it to come out on uh you know so that you can rent it or something i think uh it

was good it was good i got a few laughs there's a five, I mean a solid five minute long orgy scene that is just much dirtier than you would even imagine it could be. I like it in movies too. Lots of gay animated sex, um, between male, uh, food items and female food items. There's one point where like the hot dog is like going through the bagel and like some he's penetrating like triple penetration like it's like a it's a four-way food fuck fest where like the hot dog is being pushed by like the falafel thing through the bagel and into a bun and all of them are like moaning in ecstasy as every stroke it's just it's it's a little much but It's definitely too much. I'd say a minute and a half into that scene, I was just like, it can't possibly keep going on.

Did they sit down and be like, all right, we've got an hour and 20-minute movie. This is going to be in theaters. It can't be an hour and 20 minutes. It has to be four and a half. What are we going to do? I don't know. Can we just have an orgy?

How much content can you think of that? I don't know. I guess maybe eight minutes or so. Okay, we'll do well i don't know can we just have like an orgy like a bunch of how much content can you think of that like i don't know i guess maybe like eight minutes or so okay we'll do that like that's what it felt like is but put it at the end we don't want to turn off the viewers at the very beginning okay or put it right at the end then yeah yeah it makes sense with the plot no no no no no no it just kind of come out of nowhere i don't know the whole movie seth rogan's hot dog he's a sausage is wanting to get inside the bun and she's like oh I'm so tight though you know maybe we could just touch tips I don't want to open up all the way I'm not a whore you know like cause she's like the

you know when she opened the hot dog who plays the bun I didn't don't even tell me it's going to be Mia Kunis in my head it'd be lost on you I've decided it's Mia Kunis I don't know know who it is, but that's who it is. That's not even a person.

What's her real name? I'm not going to tell you. Fuck. It's Mika Kunis. It's not. You guys bastards always do this. It is Mika Kunis. She's Eastern European. Mila Kunis.

Ah, that's her American name. Mila Kunis. Ah, that's her American name. Mila Kunis, that is the... I recommend the movie. It was funny, but it was also like... It was really the same four jokes, maybe, for an hour and a half. It was like they took the concept

for what would be a really, really good 20-minute short, and were just like, let's just make a whole movie of this, because that's kind of what it was. And they keep coming up with fun little puns to come up with for the character creation and their names and stuff. At the end, it seemed like they realized that not only were they food items to be consumed by people, but they even realized that they're just cartoon characters.

The Stephen Hawking food item created an interdimensional portal using a toilet seat and some other rigging. They were all going to come into our universe to go after Seth Rogen at the end. It was a bit of an odd movie.

I'm glad I watched it. I like those guys. I recognized a bunch of voice actors, but it wasn't a great movie. It was just okay. Yeah. It's kind of what I expected it to be. 90 minutes of food sex jokes. Yeah, I thought I'd laugh more. I really... I'll tell you what,

the first scene when they discover that humans are gonna peel us and eat us is so traumatic. It's like, oh god. Oh no. They start peeling. This potato is being washed. And the thing is, oh, being washed by the hands of a god.

He's so happy that this woman is washing him. And then she starts peeling him. And he's just screaming, no, my skin! She's peeling off my skin! And then she throws him into boiling water while he screams more and more about his eyeballs. It's really terrible.

Yeah, that was a pretty macabre scene. Yeah, dark. Overall, like a 7 out of 10 movie. Maybe 6.5, you know? I really wanted to see kids in there. I was hoping some parent had, like, I don't know, maybe it was a drinking day for them and they had brought their nine-year-old to see this movie that would be uh pretty horrible for that kid because they they really

they also try and shoehorn a lot of racial stuff in and it's kind of funny at first but the um the jewish arab guy not jewish arab the jewish guy and the arab guy uh falafel and the bagel it's just it's the same thing the the whole time like they brought the actors who did the voices for those two characters in for 15 minutes at the beginning and we're like hey i just want you to read down through this list of jew jokes hey i want you to read down through this list of arabic jokes no a thicker want you to read down through this list of Arabic jokes. No, a thicker accent. You have to sound really Jewish. It's like, ah, oy vey, you're fucking killing me, falafel.

Or whatever they wanted him to do. It really was the same shit with those two characters the whole movie. Which, you know, not very original. It's really dark, though, and it keeps getting darker. There's lots of death in that movie and lots of weird sex. So check it out if you like Seth

Rogen and food sex. More uplifting than Oz. Oh, fuck yeah. Oh, absolutely. I'm so sorry that I watched any of Oz. I finished it last week. And seriously, don't watch it. Don't pick it up. There's no redeeming quality to that show.

I have this theory. I thought about this last night talking to Chiz a little bit. I think Oz is just hell. I think that all of the people in Oz have died and now they're in hell. I think that Oz is hell. It's too horrible for it to just be a prison

in upstate New York. Oz is just hell. This is their version of hell. This is where they'll spend all eternity. That's interesting. It could be. There's no redemption. It's not supernatural at all.

Yeah, I know that. But what I'm saying is it's meant to represent hell. Like an allegory. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, representative of hell. There's no redeeming quality for anyone at any point in that show that things go well for anyone at any point in that show do

things go well for anyone ever once never try to think of the time when something went well for any single character when she right anytime something goes well that's a head fake you know look for it to swing back in the other direction yeah i was trying to think of happy things just then and all the happy things i could think of is like well there was that time that they killed the dude who was really getting out of control well I guess that wasn't a good thing they just killed someone or the time that all their drugs went through

and there was peace for a bit well that had to do with people getting addicted to heroin that's probably not great how about the time that Belcher and that wrestler guy were in love yeah that was kind of a scam he broke all of his limbs yeah and that wrestler guy were in love. Yeah, that was kind of a scam. Yeah, he should have never left his restaurant. He broke all of his limbs. It's all terrible.

Virtually every female character gets raped. Virtually every male character gets raped. And murdered. And it's often in terrible ways. Like, there's a whole episode where they just talk about the weapons of prison. Like, oh, this is a... They'll take the spring of the mattress and

and like straighten it out so it's a poker thing and they'll sharpen the bottom of a toothbrush or they'll take a razor blade and melt it into a toothbrush so it and like bind it to it they cut one guy to death they just hold him down and gag him and start making these long slow razor blade cuts on his body terrible terrible show they burned that one guy alive in the first episode or something. So don't watch that show. It's just torture. It's what hell... It's a version of hell.

It's definitely someone's version of hell. It's not worth watching. Now Hitch is going to go watch it. Yeah, I literally just googled it. I had no idea. I thought you guys were talking about The Wizard of Oz for at least the first minute and a half of that conversation. I was like, I don't know what version.

Oh, you don't remember The Wizard of Oz where they burn the swastika in that guy's ass to claim ownership? Remember when they all fucked the cowardly lion in the ass while he laughed? The man skins the scarecrow alive and writes Jew in his chest and hangs him in a field. They did set the scarecrow alive and writes Jew in his chest and hangs him in a field.

They did set the scarecrow on fire. That's a thing that happened. His hand catches on fire. He did set him on fire. Yeah. But there wasn't any rape. You know, when all those flying monkeys came in, they just kidnapped Dorothy. They didn't gang rape her.

Right. Which is exactly what would happen. If the Wizard of Oz was Oz, all those monkeys would have raped the dog. I want to see that. This would be a great Saturday Night Live sketch or something. The Wizard of Oz. But use the Oz text from the show.

And then just have that gory ass intro, but with Wizard of Oz animated characters instead. Like the Iron Man with the scar on his face. He's Alvarez. They still have the flying monkeys but they're like oz level intensity so when you see them flying in you know they're coming down to tear off your testicles or your rip your fingers off and eat them like they're they're not like the hunky dory

monkeys that flew in and all things considered the flying monkeys and wizard of oz were very well behaved they they really did stick to their task. I cannot imagine a band of monkeys being that disciplined when they finally get their hands on some heroin. I think you've got a bit of an obsession with monkeys. Do you think it dates directly back to that monkey birthday party you had, or was

the monkey birthday a product of your monkey obsession? The monkey birthday was probably a product of my interest in monkeys at the time because i was as a little kid i was obsessed with different kinds of dinosaurs like learning everything i could about different kinds of dinosaurs and where they lived and what time periods they lived in all that and also the different kinds of monkeys and where they lived and monkeys became more exciting over time because it was like well i can go to the zoo and look at some monkeys i don't want to go to the science center and look at the same pair of t-rex bones every

weekend like it's just not as contemporary as monkeys if you're taylor the monkeys come to you i have a new topic i want i wanted to talk about monkeys some more but okay yes what do you have to say about no go ahead my topic i some monkeys. That's all I'm saying. I want to have some sort of a monkey experience after hearing Taylor's story. I don't want to possess a monkey. Oh, okay. I've told the story before about that girl who went to the guy's house

who was keeping monkeys in the cages and it smelled like death. So you don't want that. You don't want a monkey as a possession, a friend or whatever. But I'd like to be visited by a monkey. I would like to pay a petting zoo guy to come over and have a monkey

hang out with me for the day. It's like a boat, where you don't want to be the guy who owns the boat. You want to be the guy who can go over and hang out with the guy who has the boat. You don't want to be the monkey handler. You want to be able to pop in to the monkey handler's house, hang out with the little capuchin, oh my god, it's swinging from my arm, that's so neat,

and then head out. Not enough to worry about the fact it's going to get cranky later because it sees you eating a Twix and it can't have one, and so it picks up some feces, some fetid feces, and hurls it across the room at you. You don't have to deal with that. If you had an outdoor monkey, what would the advantages be, right? Every so often we get a field mouse in the kitchen that we have to trap and kill, right. If I had a monkey, would he catch the mice around the house? Would he catch the cats around the house? No. What would a monkey do? I imagine holding the cat by the tail and smashing it into concrete.

Just furiously. With no regard to the fact that the cat is slowly becoming pulp. It's just like a dog with a toy. He's just smash, smash. Yeah, they don't care about it. If you had a monkey, I think the kind you want would be an organ grinder monkey. They're called capuchin monkeys. Doesn't sound like a friendly monkey.

Organ grinder monkey? Yes, they're the ones that would sit there on the street in those little Aladdin hats and grind the organ and shoot it around. I want an anus ripping monkey. That's the kind that I prefer. The organ grinder monkey is just a little passe at this point. I want the anus-ripping monkey. That's the kind that I prefer. The organ grinder monkey is just a little passé at this point. I want the anus-ripping monkey. An organ grinder monkey?

Why do they call it an organ grinder monkey? Do they take their organs out and grind them up and eat them or something? No, because they're grinding the organ that they're holding. Oh, okay, an organ. Well, see, I got some mental images of intestinal grinding. You still had Oz on the mind. Yeah, with the organ grinder monkey thing, you'll see in movies depicting olden days

when apparently some dude from Serbia's way of making a living is bringing one monkey with him that he gives an instrument and then stands around and collects money on the monkey's behalf. In the time that it takes to train a monkey to not only play music but to be disciplined enough to not sprint away at the first sign of food nearby and ruin your career, I feel like you could learn. You could go into the trades. You could learn something more valuable.

Don't put all your eggs in that monkey basket. I guarantee if it runs away or passes away, you don't just have another backup monkey sitting around. If you did, you'd have to spend a lot of time training it. It's just not a very good career choice. So I have no sympathy for those people. Monkeys are really worthless. I've been looking at this monkey diet and things that –

like if you have a goat, you pretty much don't need a lawnmower, right? If you have a cat, you have fewer mice and rabbits and shit like that around the yard. If you have monkeys, nothing. They eat fruit. They scream and squeak and bark at each other all day long they eat barks and like ruin your trees um they they're really not helpful at all you don't really want monkeys around the house because they're just a pain in the ass they fuck shit up a lot and yeah they're too rambunctious and it's very risky keeping an animal with hands around because at least with like a dog you know it's very risky keeping an animal with hands around. Because at least with a dog,

it's not going to get into your sensitive paperwork unless you leave it on the ground. A monkey, you can just come home and it'll find stuff that you lost. Ripping it apart. Like, oh god, my jacket? I still had that? You've just been tearing little bits off and throwing it away? How spiteful

of you! They eat a lot of fruits, but who has fruit problems? Yeah, monkeys don't help. So I think it depends on what kind of monkey and what you want the monkey to do anyway. Like if I got a monkey, I'm going to be just fine with him having a little personality, being friendly with people, and maybe some people will be interested in hanging out with him.

But I think they've got maybe monkeys for blind people or monkeys for people who have other disabilities that help them do things. Helper monkeys, sure. And that would be nice if you had a super well-trained monkey that would do things for you, do the tasks. Yeah, I would like that. You should look into the monkey rental option, Kyle.

If you really want to hang out with some monkeys, maybe just call up your local monkey dealer and tell them you want to hang out with one for like an afternoon. Just one afternoon. I'm thinking that the people who have helper monkeys are likely to die a lot, right? You know, they've got big problems and diseases and heart. Maybe there's some like out-of-work helper monkeys

that Kyle could pick up. Maybe. Maybe. I think we might have-work helper monkeys that Kyle could pick up. Maybe. I think we might have lost Kyle. Unless he's doing a great job sitting still. Pick an actor that he looks like right now. Is that like a Pacino? A Jack Nicholson? Ah, he's gone. No, he looks like

Billy Bob Thornton. He looks like Billy Bob Thornton in fucking Fargo with his goofy hair you know what I could do what if I did the ad while we waited for Kyle to come back

let's try it oh boy here we are the pressure is on I didn't pre-read this Squarespace this episode oh that is the pre-roll well fuck just want everyone to remember that this episode of pka is brought to you by squarespace sites look professionally designed regardless of skill level no coding required intuitive easy to use tools squarespace has state-of-the-art technology powering your site to ensure security and stability. Trusted by millions of people and some of the most respected brands in the world.

Start your free trial site today with no credit card required at squarespace.com. When you decide to sign up for Squarespace, make sure to use the offer code PKA to get 10% off your first purchase. Squarespace. Build it. Build it beautiful. So whether you're starting a business, building a portfolio, or just expressing yourself online, remember to sign up today and go to squarespace.com slash pka. That's squarespace.com slash pka. Don't miss out. Check it out. Squarespace. An excellent way to start a website. Very easy. Yeah. I'm messing around with Squarespace. I like their stuff.

I took a week off from vlogging, and I've been enjoying that. But because I can't seem to just sit still, I started a new project that I'm not really talking about. But I chose Squarespace as the start of it. Are you going to talk about it now, or is it still on a back burner semi-secret project? Yeah, it's not anything that exciting. But I had an idea to make some more revenue and involved a website.

And I was like, ah, start at Squarespace. I like their stuff. So that's where it'll be. And you can use code PKA. Get a great deal. I will. Not only will I save money, but it'll make a sponsor value that much more, which I like.

Yeah, a tiny bit more. Kids will like that. So we got you back, Kyle. Yeah, I think so. So we did the Square Space ad while you were gone. Just one. I think my internet went out for a second. What were we talking about? Monkeys? You could get some trained monkeys and you'd be okay.

But I think some sort of... You can just get a puppy, some golden retriever, and you don't have to teach him shit. Like, as long as you teach him not to pee and poop in the house, like, he's all good. You can have fun with that. But with a monkey,

I think you need some higher level education so that that monkey is fully enjoyed. A well-trained monkey, I would imagine, could complete a number of tasks. You know, he could... I don't know, he could do all kinds of things. Do your taxes. That'd be a well-trained monkey. And then fucking Bobo is the one being audited. You know he could I don't know he could do all kinds of do your taxes That'd be a brain money fucking Bobo is the one being audited

They're gonna seize all of his bananas and kumquats A Bobo monkey sin yeah He's in the other room Bobo we were going to garnish your wages, but the fact that you're paid entirely in lettuce makes that very difficult to do. Anyway. Even I know that's enough talking about monkeys. Oh, well, thank God.

And I am... It could be some kind of a joke about garnishing his wages, but his food was a garnish. There had to be something there. Yeah, like a parsley 401K, something like that. I have no idea. That's good. 401K-o.

401K-o. I like it. I like it. It gets better as I process it. Anyway. See, on a side note, that's the kind of humor that i like i i like like i i value saying funny things way over saying things in a funny way which is why i think bilber sometimes falls short for me on his podcast there that's definitely there's some

truth to that definitely because people who have like like, Bill Burr, obviously, like, he has a Boston accent, but in his humor, he puts it on way more because it's a funny accent. He punches it up. It's a funny accent, and it has weird inflections, and so it makes for good humor. But a lot of the stuff he says, if some dude from, I don't know, Memphis says it, it's not as funny just like if you take the stuff that larry the cable guy says and his like country bumpkin yee-haw accent and say it is like a brooklyn dude like it's not that great it's just i don't know i do know what you mean because there are a lot of comedians out there who get by in a huge way because of the way they say stuff instead of what it is they're saying a lot of british comedians like that i think where they get by on not being like really funny but more just being like smarmy Brits where it's like oh I don't even have to

explain the joke you just don't get it you tee hee hee like um it's very dry sense of humor yeah very dry it's different I see it way differently like like to me the cliche is the American comedian is the smartest guy in the room and the British one is the dumbest guy in the room. And if you think about, like, okay, think of that routine where the guy talks about how farming is easy money. He's like, you wouldn't believe it, you know? This corn, it just goes out of the ground from nowhere,

and then you can sell it, making money on it. And then these chickens, chickens are made out of chicken. You can sell that too and he's like he just like easy money you know we got roosters I don't even need an alarm clock this is all you know the it's not funny when I say it but you know the the the video that guy is not pretending to be the smart he's the dumbest guy in the room and a lot of times British comedians do that whereas I think the Americans they're always the clever ones

you know you think about george carlin chris rock um david chappelle they're the ones who figured everything out and they're just enlightening you i've never heard someone call him david chappelle well i knew him since he was little yeah i'm friends with his mom you said David and then I had to backtrack when you said Chappelle I was like who is David and then you said Chappelle and I was like wow fucking up names is my thing

that's a show that's like it's tragic that it stopped so soon and all because he had to go have like some awakening experience in Zimbabwe or whatever it was like he stole his own prime career years away from himself which sucks but maybe he's a ton of money yeah he's rich like i i don't see it that way you know he's like i got enough money fuck it i can do what i want what he bought with his

money was his own time which is the coolest thing in the world to buy it's the number one thing and that's not what happened though he was afraid he was just afraid he was afraid of failure he didn't his own time which is the coolest thing in the world to buy it's the number one thing and uh what happened though he was afraid he was just afraid he was afraid of failure he didn't think he could do it he like he had like a nervous breakdown because he was afraid because he couldn't think he could make another season of that show they were giving him they were offering so much money and he just ran away and did a bunch of crack well i didn't know that i don't think the crack thing is true yeah yeah i think the crack thing was like a media thing. It was like a...

That's not true, though. Yeah, he likes crack. There's like an Inside Actors interview with him where he talks for like an hour and a half about that whole span in his life, and it's like one of the best interviews I've ever seen. The interviewer was like a white guy with a beard who looked like he belonged in a room with leather-bound books, right? Yeah. I've watched seen. The interviewer was like a white guy with a beard who looked like he belonged in a room with leather

bound books, right? Yeah. I've watched the same one. Is he like the Paley Center guy? No, I don't know. I can't remember. It's that Lipton guy. From the Inside the Actor's Studio. The one who reads off the index cards and everything. James Lipton? Yeah, James Lipton. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was a fantastic interview. And I wouldn't

have thought that guy would do it so well, but he knocked it out of the park. yeah and he he has a line in there he's like crazy is the worst thing you can call someone now i can think of worse things but he's like it's because it's dismissive you know you call someone crazy and then suddenly any defense any retort like it it's all just gone because that person's crazy you've dismissed him and uh I don't know, it bounced in my head. It was like, wow, they really hurt his feelings because that was the prevailing opinion. He just went crazy and didn't take the $50 million.

But if you already have $30 million, you might not care about the other $50 million. And that's about where he was. I think he's lying. I think he was on crack cocaine in Africa. I don't think so. Has he talked about that before? Yeah, he was out there with his family.

Him and his family moved to Africa. Yeah, they like crack cocaine too. Yeah, he's just sharing the wealth. I think he wanted to go where he wasn't famous. I think that was his explanation, wasn't it? Yeah. And I don't know. Pretty neat.

Pretty neat. But what was I going to say? I had a Chappelle point. It's gone now. Sure. Oh, I have a new topic. WoodyCraft shut down today. Today was the last day of WoodyCraft.

Hitch, if you don't know, I had this Minecraft server. It was pretty popular. At its peak, it was one of the top, like, four or five Minecraft servers in the world. And I don't know for people started shifting away from the kinds of games that we had to mini games and our mini games and i had two problems one as hard as we try they just never seem to be wildly popular our player base didn't like them they play them for they'd be excited about them for like two weeks and then they'd fall off and um two they weren't they didn't make any money for us so these they were just like lost leaders that no one played and was like well fuck you know whereas like hypixel for example managed to monetize theirs so um uh over time like the player base

just shrunk and shrunk and shrunk, and it was like, all right. Oh, and then Mojang changed the EULA so that you couldn't sell the kinds of things that made WoodyCraft profitable. And it was just like, it was almost a graceful way to wrap it up. It's like, all right, you know, the EULA changed. The server's been headed in that direction anyway. Let's call it a wrap.

And so in the springtime, I made it so that we didn't sell anything. Because I didn't want to be, like, selling things up to the day we shut down. And here we are entering the fall. And I didn't know when the last day was going to be. I could have looked it up. But, like, there were different... WoodyCraft at its peak had, like, 20 servers. And different ones were, like, expiring on different timelines

as we added and removed them. And it was going to be at a point where, like, a server that all the traffic went through went down and that happened today. Like, the Bungie server expired or something. And I don't know. it was a really good experience i uh it grew me as a person it grew my bank account i appreciate that about it um and uh a lot of players enjoyed it i don't know overall i i don't regret woody craft first sometimes i

like i have this in my head like any business that's not in business anymore is a failed business. But I don't think that's a good measure. I grew personally. I grew financially, emotionally. I'm richer in every measure for having done it. And it was a win. But it's over now. And that's that.

I don't know. Is it? Yeah. I think literally the same thing happened with the Opticraft. I was never into Minecraft or especially on the behind-the-scenes server side of things. But hearing Hector and Will talk about it because those were the two big people that did the optic craft um as far as personalities i think they they said like the same thing happened after that it was like a monetization uh thing what actually happened with that so they changed the kinds of things that you could sell and optic craft i'll tell you is it it's mostly a faction server and

factions was also the biggest thing in woody craft it's a game mode where like you probably know the smallest thing about minecraft where you kind of build things and mine it and etc well in factions you would build these like bases or forts and then it'd be protected so other people couldn't just dig it they had to make these cannons that shoot it and with that basic thing you mine it you collect your things you put them in a fort that's hard to raid, and you sort of get wealthier and more powerful and etc. And you can combine two like low level sets of armor to make it a higher set of armor. And people would play this game for about four to six months nonstop around the clock, australians are valuable because they can protect

your base while you're at school people would pretend to be your friend for six or eight weeks to get access to your base and then rob you blind people would just like like oh my god there was a there was the in the game stuff and then what we had a real hard time shutting down was the out of game stuff and um uh you know people would like ddos and swat each other they would send like people sent of course the swat team pizzas bouncy castles uh sailboats and cranes to each other's houses like as a way of like oh you're gonna raid my base well there's a bouncy castle in your backyard now bitch bitch. How do you like that? A real one.

And that stuff, we would ban all the time for it. But it got hard to ban people. They would just come back on broken and cracked accounts and start fucking with people. And then we had to ban on the shadow of threats. People would be like, I don't know, you're going to get ramrodded. You're banned. Ramrodded? Like, what the people would be like i don't know you're gonna get ramrodded you're banned ramrodded like what the fuck dude i don't know it sounded like ddos to me fuck off like you know because if it's a code like you can't just use dog whistles to intimidate each other and let that go by and um uh you know so we had to like start getting we had people we had

people on staff who were hip to the lingo more so than me who would be like, yeah, when he says he's getting jackhammered, that's a reference to the Raw Hammer Crew. And the Raw Hammer Crew releases docs. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah. And it was like – Being a prison warden basically. Dude, it was like, yeah. Being a prison warden, basically. Dude, it was tough. And then, like, I had staff.

Like, I had a young staff guy. And they went after and, like, doxed his parents. So now his parents, like, social security numbers and out there and stuff. And I'm, like, trying to make this right. I bought his parents, like, credit fraud protection services so that, know like because i felt bad you know like um because their son worked they're now suddenly the parent it was that was one of another one of the reasons that you know we kind of just like there were a couple bad actors cyber criminals really who were just like attacking staff and other players and stuff like that too aggressively

but um over minecraft but minecraft is a dirty game so you don't see that stuff happening in the in the the higher levels of gaming it's only down there where you've dirty miners where like people like that shit doesn't happen in cod like not regularly like nobody ever sent me a fucking crane um that's outrageous it's it's it must have something to do with how much time you've got in your sand castle, as it were. We talk about the Civilization games that can last 12 solid straight hours, but in Minecraft, if your base and your faction server is a year old and it represents one year of your team winning more than they lose,

then I guess I could see where you could get real upset and maybe want to send someone a bouncy castle or uh yeah about pizzas something hitch was asking him i didn't get to the point more directly but um mojang made it so you couldn't sell things that gave you an advantage in games so we would like sell a rank for example where every day you'd like get a set of on diamond armor for example and And Mojang was like, nope, now the only thing you can sell are like hats and pets that follow you. And like when you walk, there's like a trail of water droplets or shit like that. And factions players were not interested in that kind of bullshit. And it made persistent game modes not that profitable.

And like, I don't know, that combined with just how much of a pain in the ass it was to run after a while and sinking profits and stuff it was like you know what all the things are coming together it's time to wrap it up so i kept it going for about four months on my own dime you know without selling anything and uh and today it like i of, like, got the emails and stuff. Servers suspended and donezo. So, yeah, it was a good chapter. But on to the next one. It's the end of an era.

It is, yeah. In your life, not just, you know, of the availability of the server, you know. It was like that was your whole thing, like, full time for how long it years? Like, yeah, it was years. I don't know. Maybe it started in 2013 or 12, something like that. I know it was in July and, uh, yeah, I don't know. I'm a little sad, like, oh, it's too bad. And there's like a community that's, uh, somewhat broken up about it. And, um, yeah, but the, you know, I guess in the guess I don't want to be a douche, but I've got in my head if it doesn't make dollars, it doesn't make sense.

And that's the case. Mojang changed the rules and it shut down. I'm watching these other server owners try to flip the bird to Mojang and sell the stuff they used to sell and have private launchers and all that like you know because Mojang will blacklist it they'll make it so players can't get to your server and now there's like a escalation war and trying to get around that and it's uh they change the game and I think Mojang's making a mistake uh there are a lot of players

who will be like oh getting rid of pay to win is a really great thing but by taking the profit incentive out of it for server owners like it uh it takes the innovation away from mojang right every year mojang comes out with like some new flowers some new blocks and some like bullshittery that doesn't do much for the game. And every month, Hypixel's releasing Mario Kart within Mojang or Rocket League within Mojang. Kitty's been playing DayZ and it looks really fun. It's in Atlanta. She's like,

oh, just going to the CDC. Someone bit my arm, so I had to cut it off. And I was like, really? That's badass. That's Minecraft? Show me.

And I'm looking and there's this she on one monitor she's got this map of atlanta and the surrounding areas and and she's you know they're using ar-15s and stuff and it's it's it's uh it's like daisy or or whatever inside minecraft by chance do you know you wouldn't i don't know but but sounds like a good guess yeah dude they do amazing things there's a civilization implementation in minecraft that was super in-depth and um like i feel like what the development community is doing is a hundred times more than what mojang does themselves like the development arm of mojang is actually the community mojang just made a platform that everyone builds on top of and like yeah like like an iphone for example you

know what comes with an iphone is just bullshit what is it like a calendar and a phone and messaging and stuff you know yeah it's not until somebody makes pokemon go and you know maps and shit like that it's made like half a billion dollars by the way pokemon go it's like the 13th most used app in the world app in the world or something like that. We've been playing a bunch of Civ. I've been playing more than Taylor even, I'd say. I've kind of gotten the bug lately and I've been playing the fans and little free-for-all

games. I tried to play Pokemon Go today. Did you? I tried. So I was at Target getting camping supplies for this weekend and you know how Target has these red balls, like big concrete, like, I don't know, berries you can't drive through? Yeah.

Well, they were painted like Pokemon, like the balls that you throw. And I'm like, I bet this is a stop. You know what? I'm going to fire a Pokemon Go and see how cool this is. I'm going to go to a PokeStop and see what's up. Maybe I'll win a gym battle because no one seems to be playing. I was all excited for like a minute. And then it wanted me to log into my Google account. And it's like, motherfucker, like you forgot who I was, you piece of shit app. Like I fucking hate you, Pokemon. And I'm going ballistic,

because logging into my Google account, like it's protected, right? I don't know my password to Google. It's a password that a human couldn't possibly memorize. You have to log into LastPass and then get your password from that. It's like, I don't know, 20 characters long and it looks like your face hit the keyboard. Then you copy-paste that in there

and then there's going to be two-factor authentication. I was like, I'm not playing this fucking game because all the other games on my iPhone, I open and play. Pokemon Go, I have to log in for like 10 minutes. You shouldn't have signed up with your Google account. You should have signed up with your Pokemon whatever account. Trainer account. Yeah, your Pokemon Trainer account. That's what I did.

Because I didn't want to sign in with the Google account. I wish I knew. So I just used some bullshit Pokemon Trainer info and I'm good to go. Well, if I knew that, I would have anyway. So I couldn't even get into Pokemon Go and I'm like, well, fuck you. I knew that, I would have anyway, so I couldn't even get into Pokemon Go, and I'm like, well, fuck you. I'm just going to go get some Uncrustables.

Uncrustables? Do you guys still play Pokemon Go? Oh, do you play? I mean, I played when it was, like, the huge wave of it first dropping. It was, like, crazy, like, whenever it first came out. Like, literally everybody in the entire world seemed to be playing it,

but I didn't know how many people still currently play it. Yeah, I open it up came out, literally everybody in the entire world seemed to be playing it, but I didn't know how many people still currently play it. Yeah, I open it up only now when a friend who's also playing has it, and they're like, hey, let's compare our shit, and then I'll open it up, and it's like, my top lineup, my top six,

three of them are Vaporeon, and two of them are Exeggutor, and so it's like, and then the other one's a Snorlax. So it's three Pokemon making up my top six. There's just like no variety. A very homogenous population in my Pokemon civilization. But it's, I don't know, until they add

interpersonal battling and trading, I'm not going to play anymore. It's just not worth it. Yeah, I'm on the exact same page. I've got a pretty good decent pretty good starting lineup, I guess, two or three things that are $1,400 or $1,500. But there's nothing to do with them anymore. So I really lost interest in that game.

I'm mostly just reading the stupid fine print about Civ lately. That's been my little fun thing to do, is I'm sitting on the toilet and reading about Civilization unique units for Civ 6 and stuff. That game's gonna be so much fun. And Taylor has already seen like how in-depth Civ 5 is and how much random

like fucking information there is to memorize. Civ 6 is just this whole new encyclopedia that I've gotta go through. What's the release date for Civ 6? October 20 something? encyclopedia that I've got to go through. What's the release date for Civ 6? October 20-something? I wish it was...

Because it's before COD. I believe so. I'm going to double check that number right now. COD's November, right? It's usually the first Tuesday in November or something. Hitch, do you know? Yeah, I think it's the second week of November. Yeah, October 21. Okay.

October 21 for Civ. Yeah, I liking civ playing it it's just like the problem with it really is just the length of games like i find myself wanting to play and be like oh that would be fun but then like i'll log in to play and it's like do i want to go through a hundred turns of bullshit just to get to the part that's fun when I'm like starting to like build up the armies and go and attack it's like not really it's kind of like when I fire up Skyrim like in my head I'm like man I'm remembering all the fun parts of Skyrim and all the cool missions and when I took on the Assassin's Guild or whatever the hell and then I sign into a new character and it's like oh which race are you and what's your name and I suddenly remember like oh my god I've got a new character, and it's like, oh, which race are you, and what's your name? And I suddenly remember, like,

oh my god, I've gotta do so much. You go with that whole dungeon thing. I'm gonna be around for seven hours beating animals to death with a wooden stick before I get anything worthwhile. And so I just don't play, and that's kind of what I feel about Civ. Zombies, man.

Like, I remember, like, I'd play with you, Chiz, and Kyle, and be like, we're getting pretty elite at this. It's only 30 minutes of fucking running around and touching levers and chasing witches and shit before you get to play. And it's like, yeah, only 30 minutes of bullshit.

Like, what a great game. Yeah, same thing. Like, in Civ, I like the early game. Like, the first 25 turns are really interesting to me. The first 100 turns are my favorite turns because those are the turns when you're maximizing everything and min-maxing every decision, you know, trying to figure out, oh, is it better to run two food and one hammer or three food and two gold?

Or three hammers and two gold. Like which hex is best? What's going to put me on the most optimal curve to hit this tech I want or whatever? There's so much planning to go into it. It'll go faster when you learn more about the game because I'm sitting there most of the time when you and I are playing like,

alright, let's give him a little more time. He'll click them. He'll click them. But when you're good at it, it's like, click, click, turn. Click, click, turn. Click, click, turn. So you'll go through the first hundred turns in just a few minutes if it's just a couple of those. I guess I'm still too new to whisk through it. And usually you are the one

waiting on me. The only time I'm the one waiting on you is when we're in a huge battle and you obviously know way more about how to micro units. I'm fucking horrible at that because I'm in the habit of I'll want my swordsman to go two squares and I'll click on the

one two squares away which is how far he can move but instead he just decides on some weird alternate route and like takes two steps back to like go around this mountain pass. Yeah we gotta talk about how you move units later. Yeah there's a way to fix all that. I need to be microing like one step at a time right?

Yeah what you really got to keep in mind is that different units have different amounts of movement uh per turn and different kinds of terrain take uh more or less movement away from characters so you've got to know that oh this is a scout he's got three turns of movement or he's got three hexes of movement but that you know that that river is going to slow him down one turn, so like but yeah, it's just, when you're moving your units, they've got to move all as one, and you've got to kind of keep that stuff in your head. It's easy to just send them all on the long path, but

they won't follow that long path, because it changes every turn as pieces around the board move, so they'll get all jumbled up and do stupid shit. We're in the middle of a game right now, Kyle and I, from, I think the last time we played it was two nights ago, but we were playing Emperor, game right now kyle and i from i think the last time we played it was two nights ago but like we

were like we're playing emperor which i guess is very hard difficulty um to me it's incredibly hard because i tried to do like a 1v1 against an emperor and it was just like this is stupid like this guy's got four cities out and they're all booming and i'm in this rough shod little shithouse made of you know corrugated steel trying to rub two sticks together and get some fire and they're already like launching missiles but when i was playing when we're playing together like i feel like we're doing really well and then you will open up the stats and be like oh man looks like the zulu just researched rocketry and it's like this is horseshit i just spent all

of my fucking turns making musket men and now my musket men are useless against these new wave of soldiers they they've created like it i don't know like i feel like there's no like we we're all clicking on the same shit to research so i don't understand how they get that far ahead of us they're getting more science they're they're on a better curve than we are. They're getting more, they're maximizing their potential early in the game every step along the way. And the AI just gets bonuses. Like a 10% bonus to production or

a 10% negative happiness multiplier. So on the higher difficulties like Immortal and Deity, they're getting massive just cheat on you kind of bonuses, the computer is. But we're kind of behind just because we're just on a different curve.

We're going to win. It's just a matter of time. We're doing it to, I guess, they were all scientific, but we attacked, destroyed Shaka and the Zulus, and now we're taking on Siam, who's really being a dick in that game. They're all

unpleasant. I like putting Venice as the opponent in a lot of them, because that dude always seems to give me a bunch of juicy trades, even when he's not on my team. He just shows up and goes, hey, you want all this? Give me like six horses and I'll give you my fucking kingdom. It's like, alright Venice, settle down.

He can't build secondary cities, so all he can do is bribe people and spend money yeah he's just a money-making civ yeah anyway that's enough talk i even like it now we can be north korea entertain me today so north korea has banned sarcasm um if people don't know anything about north kore Korea You have to like be in a line With Kim Jong-un Kim Jong-un I think I have that close to right UN

And anyway so When his father died they're out wailing In the streets almost like competitive Grieving you know to be the one Who was most impacted By the death of the father and um just check out something so like culturally they're not allowed to disagree and the more in alignment they are the better but it looks like people have been using sarcasm as a way to

disagree you know like uh uh there are a couple examples in this article that this is all America's fault. No, great leader. I'm not starving to death. Right. Well, like something bad would happen and they'd say this is all America's fault. And that sarcastic tone was a way to like sort of speak out against the great leader without being misquoted or anything. And they were using sarcasm. There was another one too that – against the the great leader without being misquoted or anything you know like you did and they were using sarcasm there was another one too that uh who's gonna head up the sarcasm

police that's what i want to know i all the sarcasm brown shirts to march around goose stepping into people's houses have you been you know being sarcastic no and then can you picture the big rallies they're having of a guy like on a soapbox like being sarcastic no it's a good idea but i think you picture the big rallies they're having a big i like on a soapbox like no one would ever say anything bad about our dear leader i mean can you guys imagine it and they're all like no he's like i think up

and the americans us so much impact on our daily life i can hardly eat my one loaf of bread per day without thinking about how much America is the reason I don't get to eat meat. Like, oh, yeah, you're right. Kim Jong-un is really doing a great job. It's these Americans. Like that has to be borderline what's going on, right, for them to make it illegal. I love it. One, it shows a crack in their, you know, I don't know, this culture.

And two, it shows an insecurity in Kim Jong-un. I'm sure I'm fucking this up. You're pretty good so far. But yeah, anyway, sarcasm. Now illegal in North Korea. Love it. They can't just do something. I want to see how they enforce that, though.

I also read this week that some American student who we thought had been dead for a while has actually been teaching Kim Jong-un English this whole time. He's just been captured and kidnapped. Well, that's good news. Are you serious? Yeah. Why not just kidnap a Rosetta Stone, you idiot?

You don't need an actual, like, was this guy, like, a certified instructor? No, I think he just wanted, he wanted a real English-speaking person. You know, it's weird about the kinds of people that they want to teach you English, because I've told this story before, but, like, my ex-girlfriend had a friend who had this great opportunity to go to South Korea to teach English, and I was like, so you speak Korean? And she's like oh no. I was like so you like studied

Korean studies or something? Like you're familiar with the region and the you know what they do there. Oh no. Never been to that part of the world at all. And it's well they're paying you $80,000 a year. Yeah. Yeah. $80,000. And they're paying you $80,000 a year. Yeah, yeah, 80. And they're putting you up in this house.

Yep, yep, they really need people to teach English. And I'm like, I speak better English than you. Like, what is this madness? How are you going to teach it to them? She's like, well, they speak a little English, you know. You just got to get them indoctrinated into it. This doesn't sound right. But yeah, like, she's not an English teacher.

She doesn't speak any Korean, but she got this gig teaching English just because she's an American English-speaking person. Apparently that's good enough. I don't know how much they get. I was under the impression that they were paid largely in their room and board when they went and did things like that. Maybe they make a good amount as well. I didn't think they did but i know that that was like the thing for a bunch of girls i knew in college that were getting degrees that didn't really have any relevance and they'd just be like oh i'm just gonna go to south korea and teach english and it's like you don't speak very well at all so that's gonna be a bunch of valley girl

uh koreans over there with weird inflections on their voice i don't't know. It was funny seeing that because there's no way. I watched something else. Maybe it was about Japan. People from the U.S. teaching English in Japan. Might have been Korea. I assume it would be Japan just because we're talking about Korea. But apparently those students do not respect the English American teachers at all. Because they're all like 23 year old white

chicks who show up over there you know in their little Gucci bags and their white girl clothes and their pumpkin lattes and they walk in and start just speaking English and don't show respect for the culture enough and I don't know I'll need to find it it might have been like a Vice video probably not that prestigious something maybe a couple

echelons lower but it was pretty neat is Vice still around man I think it is i haven't seen in a while um oh did you hear about the csu story csu no all right so california state university in los angeles State University in Los Angeles has set up segregated dorm rooms that only black people can have. The Black Student Union started protesting and said, Black students in Cal State LA have been, and still are, consistently

made the targets of racist attacks by fellow students, faculty, and administration. These attacks come in many forms. Some are more overt, and some are subtle. Racially insensitive remarks and microaggressions by professors and students create a learning environment that is not conducive to the overall learning atmosphere. So they've set aside, I guess, 20 beds and it's 192 dorm complex where white people are not allowed. Or actually nobody but black people. See, that'll be'll be good see because I feel like

Exactly, thank you Why no, but I feel like people who would sign up for this like like think about the people who are like yeah I really got to get away from all the microaggressions. You got to put me in that special dormitory, so I'll no longer get offended, please Don't we want them in that special dormitory regardless of their race if they're that easily offended anyway Like it sounds like it's a group of people that, regardless of their race, although they don't see things that way, we don't want them around us anyway. If they're choosing to go into some sort of protective custody so that they'll no longer be upset by some random person walking down the sidewalk or some chalk on a sidewalk. Or subtle attacks. Unless you are being assassinated in the dark of night,

there is no such thing as a subtle attack. Like, you don't go subtly attack someone. You don't. They're just trying to use the word. They do this now, where they take words that don't mean what they want it to mean, and they pretend it does. Well, they'll say, like,

oh, we're being attacked every day on campus, attacked with uh bulletin posts that we don't care for attacked with uh poorly seasoned food in the cafeteria attacked with homework uh that i did not consent to do by the way homework these aren't attacks this is the same nonsense where they use words that don't mean what they do and then you they lessen the meaning of that word. That's the reason, like, if someone is called a racist now, like, my first question isn't like, you know, oh, man, like, which race do they hate? It's like, are they really?

Like, really? Are they racist, or did someone get a little pissy and run out of things to say, so they just threw that one and tried to make it stick? Like, that's all that it is. Like, God, what a— It's the cry-poly thing. that one and tried to make it stick like that's all that it is like it god what a how weak-willed and boring of a person do you have to be that first of all you tie your entire self-worth to what you are instead of who you are and that you can't take even the slightest bit of criticism or questioning without immediately folding isn't that a testament to the fact that your worldview

is kind of fragile and that it doesn't hold up to scrutiny and therefore should be changed i see the point of college the free exchange of ideas and discourse, to see which ideas emerge triumphant? Isn't that what it's supposed to be? When you have a class and they bring up a sociological perspective, you should be able to say, no, you should be encouraged to say, ah, I disagree, and this is why. Even if it's just a foisted argument that you don't truly believe,

because you're trying to further discourse. You're trying to get ideas out there. And when it's immediately shut down, then the entire point of university is moot i think you're wrong and i'll tell you why i don't think that they are saying oh my gosh i'm slightly offended and they collapse they say aha thank fucking god i'm offended and now i am in a position of power i have a list of demands for you to execute on because i matthew woodworth have been offended i'm going to need you to execute on because I, Matthew Woodworth, have been offended. I'm going to need you to set aside a separate area of the dormitory for me and people like me who have been offended. And if you don't deal with this, this is our student union. This is our list of demands. This

is what we expect from you. We will go to the press. We will go to the internet. We will Twitter and YouTube and have the world of fucking social media come down upon your ass Because I am a cry bully right I am in this I'm a cry bully And I am going to just fucking push you around and scream at you and do whatever it takes to get my demands met because For some reason being a pussy is a position of power nowadays and i don't like it has so much power if you can convince in this day and age being a victim is one of the most ironically powerful positions you could have because immediately because discourse has been so eroded by the use

of terms instead of actual ideas you know if you let's say i disagree with person x on twitter and it turns out that that person x had been molested as a child or something like that. If I disagree with one of their political positions or something, now it's not about which one of our positions is correct. It's about the fact that that person was molested. And how dare you talk to them about their weird stance on abortion or immigration without taking into account that you have to walk on eggshells. You have to walk on eggshells with everything because they've been victimized in the past like that's maybe not the best example but anything to do where you can co-opt that victimhood it's it's the exact opposite of victimhood it's like i was going to say almost like a humblebrag

kind of vibe where it's like i'm such a victim and because i'm such a victim and so powerless i need everybody to flock to my aid you know i couldn't possibly defend myself i need all of twitter behind me like yeah i don't know it's just gross to watch because you know that most of those people doing it know exactly what they're doing they're not stupid they they enjoy the fact that they're getting authority and power and the ability to influence people's lives because they don't like the way you said something not even the thing you said necessarily the way you said something yeah just just don't care for it unnamed microaggressions are going to cause you to give me shit not shit give me stuff like you know going to cause you to bow to my will because there are microaggressions that you know kind of rub me the wrong way when's the last time

that all of you guys were microaggressed every day day, I think. I don't know. Think of the best microaggression in the last few days. Some guy gave me shit for Huppet. This was even in the micro. I don't know why this guy got into my head. You know what? Let me read it. It won't take me long to find it. It's a fucking asshole.

Let me give him a stage to really stand on here. I want everyone to know that if they send me bitter messages they better believe i'll read them in front of everyone yeah right i i i see where you're headed with this but fucking i'm doing it writing you a let me tell you and now a word from al-qaeda so here it is please don't act like you shut down huppet for the players you never advertised it on your channel and you alienated thousands of people that way. I met some of my best gaming friends on there, and what you did by deserting it and then holding onto the domain was pretty dickish. Also, what did you really do

there? Sasspin and the other mods did mist of the work. Spelling check there. I'm sure it was hard for you to keep it running, spamming PKA every week, and never going to the website. All right, quick word for cocksucker here. One, Saspen, who did most of the work, Saspen was a great partner. I don't have any negative things to say about him, but it's worth noting, I built that fucking website while Saspen was either on vacation or a business trip or something, and then showed it to him afterwards. Hey, look what i built this thing and then when it had performance issues as it got popular i separated the presentation and the back end layers apart and put them on separate machines so that you know we could scale up and have like two presentation layer machines and one on the back end and i did that saspen handled the

mods and stuff which might be why he thinks that saspen did all the work but it was really pretty evenly divided to say that i didn't advertise it is bullshit. People were giving me shit about how often I advertised it and I had- Way too- we all did. We all did. We had these stupid fucking overlays we were putting on our videos. Yeah. Like me, Wings-

I forgot about that. Woody, like random people who weren't even affiliated with us would just slap it on their video to make it look like they were like part of the- You gave me one and I wasn't good enough at editing to do it and so i never did yeah yeah it was just like when machinima sent me like hey we're doing these pre-rolls now and i'm like well i bet everybody else is i never put a pre-post roll for machinima right and then he says i acted like i shut down huppet for the players. I don't think so. Like, please, find where I said that.

I'll tell you why I shut down Huppet. The thing made between $0 and $5,000 a year. And Sassman, if you don't know, he's professionally successful. So both of us kind of felt like, dude, like on a good year, we're making $2,500. Like over the course of a year, it's not worth the effort that it takes to keep it going. And like I said before, if it doesn't make dollars, it doesn't make sense. It's $200 a month, and it's a lot more work than that's worth. Yeah, yeah.

It's not worth having to file the taxes on that thing. Oh, my God, the fucking taxes. It's still a pain in the ass. I've tried to shut down that LLC so many times. I think I got it this year. We'll find out next year if the IRS is like, you owe me $200 just to keep this fucking thing

around. This letter recently, this is a recent complaint about Huppet Gaming. Three days ago. Three days ago. Yeah. What year is it? I know! You fucking come here in a time machine to post your stupid complaint? And I act like I shut it down for the players.

Did I ever say that? In what world is shutting it down like a benefit to the players? I shut it down because it didn't make sense anymore. It wasn't worth the work. I believe you shut it down for the players when a black guy is president. So anyway, yeah. I don't know if that's a microaggression or not, but I get shit like that all the time.

People just, like, fucking with me, mad about things from 2012 or whatever. And I'm just like, Jesus, like, God, you guys are a pain in the ass sometimes. They might be trolling you. Because I'm imagining that you, like, are writing along responses, and there's, like, 12 guys who just get together

and, like, look, anyone get a write back? I did, I did. All right, let's move to the group. That's what he said. I think they're just trolling. I got a microaggressed today. I went to, and it was racist. I'm positive because I went to a church's chicken

and I was the only white guy in there. And I asked for the three piece, you know, and they grabbed me the shittiest looking three pieces of chicken there. And I bet it was because I'm the white guy. I bet. That's a microaggression right there. Yeah.

Well, that was all of lunch, so that's macro. White people chicken. We got one. The white people chicken. It's cold in the back and it put plastic in the back. That's three days ago, chicken. Hitch, do you have any microaggressions? Hitch, have you been microaggressed?

I guess it depends on what your definition of microaggressed is. We make it up as it goes along. Okay, then yeah, every single day. Multiple times a day, yeah. I like anything that is going to be going up on the Optic Nation channel, because that's the channel that I run for Optic, I'll just get...

If it's not out on time, or if we're having scheduling issues, like we're in the off-season of the documentary series that I produce, so I didn't put it up this Tuesday because we're're in between seasons it's like a three-week break just get people uh just say man like you you you're not trying hard anymore you don't you don't care about us as the people that get to watch and get that one all the time yeah and it's just people that log onto their computers go to check to see if the video is there and it's not and then they just

get angry they get angry because they weren't able to get their video when in reality it takes a lot it takes a lot to put videos like that up so and I've even said you know like I'm not gonna make one of those

videos for two weeks but it doesn't matter you're still gonna get bombarded you're a dick well i'm really sorry about that aggression that you weathered you weathered this one i was hoping you're gonna be like like hector comes in every day and he's like get that work done cracker and you're like slap like gives you the backhand and like like really i was hoping there were there were gonna be some some some racial stuff, but, I think it's, I'm trying to think, I don't think there's really been a time, any time in my remembrance that I felt like I was being, uh,

treated badly because I was white. No, it's, no, that's the thing, it doesn't have to be for any discernible reason, you just pick something that kind of upset you, and then claim that it was a microaggression, and unfortunately, you're, nobody's gonna buy it, but if you were anything but a white guy everybody would have to respect oh so i see what you're saying

so you're saying you just wait until something rubs you the wrong way at any time anywhere and then you reverse engineer a reason why it happens to you is you ascribe motives to the person who did it in order to make it seem malicious when in fact it's just the way that people are yeah yeah okay yeah i had the opposite happen to me i went to chick-fil-a today right and there's this like really pretty 18 year old girl like at the window it's a drive farther what's that again it's 18 i'm something like that and uh anyway she's like super nice to me. Like, hey, how you doing? And I'm like, good. And she's like, all right, how's your day going?

I was like, fine so far, I guess. You know, that'll be $8.53. I'm like, cool, cool. Like, do you want any condiments? And I'm like, no, I'm fine. She's going on. Like, are you sure? There's nothing here that you want?

Like, I could get you something? And I'm like, what the? Like, I'm 43, right? One of my superpowers is being invisible to 18-year-old girls. That happens. It'll happen to all of you. And she's being so sweet. And later on, we get the money.

She gives you my car back. Are you sure? No condiments? Nothing here I can do for you? And I'm like, no. This is a drive-thru. a drive went into dirty old my manager's watching he thinks that i'm hoarding condiments so just tell me what you want no really honey mustard ketchup whatever you want

just one she asked me at least three times to make sure my day was good at least twice on the condiments and a couple of random, like how you doings. And I'm like, man, this girl is really taking an interest in me, but she was so sweet about it. Right. She was so sweet about the whole thing.

Like it felt like she was hitting on me, but I know that can't be the case because. That's just filet. People at Chick-fil-A that work there. It's almost unsettlingly nice. How are they? They, how nice they are to you.

Because everywhere else you go, you go to McDonald's. There's a McDonald's that I go to every so often. And I swear to God, I have to be like a carnival barker or like a bull auctioneer when they hand me my food. And I'm like, hey, I'd like some ketchup. They're just throwing it at you. They slam that door closed, and I'm ketchup-less. It's like they open it halfway out to sneak my bag, and if I tell them as they're putting the bag out, like, I'd also like some ketchup,

they look at me like I just told them, I want you to run a half mile to the nearest ketchup fountain and get me a fresh glass of it. It's because you're white. Well, I mean, it's white people that do that too it's just mcdonald's you know we're really cutting back on ketchup stores and so try and get them out of there before they can remember i hear you but this isn't my first rodeo at chick-fil-a and this girl was just unnaturally nice to me i i still don't have an answer for it she uh those big ketchups

there you know the really big one that that's like you can either peel the whole pouch back and dip into it or you can just peel the front off and like squeeze it out capitalist innovation right there they got the ketchups they do have the best ketchups by far chick-fil-a does yeah they don't give you bullshit packets no taco little cups that you like squeeze the ketchup into, which are very frustrating. Taco Bell tried to not give me any hot sauce the other night for my $26 worth of Taco Bell. The diet's done. That's like six tacos.

No, no, this is like a week ago. I'm still eating fairly healthily. But it's like $26 worth of Taco Bell. It's two bags, and one of the bags has a box inside of it. Okay? Like, it's a lot of fucking food. And she just hands it all to me. And I had already said, like, she was like, you want any sauce? And I was like, yeah, a little of everything.

Because I do. I want, like, five or six of every kind of sauce they got. There's no sauce in the bag. There's no spork for my cheesy fiesta potatoes. There's no straws for my soda. So I just sit there, and like, it's nighttime. It's like 11 p.m., and I'm just looking, and nobody has come back,

and maybe a solid 45 seconds has passed. So I just go, eee, and just lay on the horn for like a solid 30 seconds. You know, let's make sure they hear. And someone comes shuffling over the door like, yeah, what is it? Some hot sauce and some ketchup

and some straws and some napkins. They just looked at me like I was insane and I was just like, yeah, now. I was so angry. I was so angry. He looked at me like I was crazy. I was like yeah now like what the fuck like i just bought 26 worth of like this bullshit food that you sell

like come on i want my huge sum of money at a taco bell too like so that's no joke that's like you're reiterating it because it's so goddamn much you're an entire construction crew worth of food more more they've got a 10 for 10 deal. For $10 you can get 10 bean burritos. I got $26 worth of tacos. Did you get 10 bean burritos in your $26 order? I don't do that. Because that would have been

disgusting. I've done it before. I've ordered 10. I've ordered 5. I've mixed it up because they will. And I've gotten 5 soft tacos, 3 crunchy tacos and you know two bean burritos and then just eat it all myself that's man that's that's gross yeah yeah I love it I really love Taco Bell and normally I the uh Sharondra works up there and I'm not just saying that that's her name uh Sharondra has been selling me Taco Bell for... Since I was 17 years old, she's been working

at Taco Bell. And when she's there, I recognize her voice. I know on the speaker that I can talk quickly, because she knows the menu. But if it's anybody else, I know it's a real crapshoot. I'm not getting it. Do you ask for, like, is Sharondra there? This is a real ordeal. It'd be quicker if you could grab her. She doesn't make the food.

She's got those nails that are, like, crazy long and curved so she actually has a hard time even handing me the bag but she puts the stuff in there i think those nails help her like really capture a lot of extra sauce or something but she's just swiping the card one of those crane machines that grab like stuffed animals they're crazy long um but but yeah i i hate this fast food employees i know they're working for minimum wage and it's a shitty job but it is different when you go to chick-fil-a they're happy they're perky and they're good looking they have some sort of interesting hiring practice

there because like every time i go to chick-fil-a i see one chick in there that i'm just like i wish she was over here she'd get put my ketchup into my bag and that's not a clever euphemism either i just i just wanted to come over here. You know, there's always some good-looking chicks at Chick-fil-A. Yeah, yeah, Chick-fil-A really changed the game. They don't have that down-and-forth look to them like Burger King and McDonald's employees have.

If you're at Burger King, those people, you can tell, they know that life is on that downward curve. Oh, yeah, some of them walk around like they're the ghost of someone who was murdered at a Burger King six years ago and just can't escape. That's now their destiny.

Just whoa. It's said in there, and I feel for them. But at Chick-fil-A, everybody's having a good old time. They're like everybody's high-fiving everybody back there. Columstone is the peak of that kind of behavior. They sing. They sing. Often, zippity-doo-dah. They will sing as many

times as you put change in. Or maybe they don't do that anymore. They probably changed the policy to where they only have to sing once every so often. Because they used to do it to where every time anybody did it at all, they have to sing. Just put some quarters in and keep going. That's great. I got micro-aggressed at a Moe's Burritos the other day.

What happened? She rolled the burrito. All right, look, first of all, rolling that burrito up, whether it's Chipotle or Moe's or Willie's or wherever, we're talking about the big burrito place where you look through the glass and tell them what you want on it. They're all the same. If you don't have a professional burrito roller there

who's getting that steamy burrito rolled up in time, then it's just shit. And so this lady sticks her thumbs in it like she's trying to blind a Game of Thrones character and just gouges it. And she's about to roll it up in the foil. And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. She's like, what? Some salsa verde? And I'm like,, and she's about to roll it up in the foil. And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. She's like, what?

You know, some salsa verde? And I'm like, no. You know what? Well, it looks like the burrito is torn. I can see the beans coming out. And she was like, oh, oh, I didn't notice that. I was like, yeah, yeah, I'm going to want a new one. She's like, okay, okay.

So she goes and gets a new tortilla and flops it down. And she takes my old burrito and just flips it upside down on top of the new tortilla. And I was just like, no, that's not really a new one, is it? I was like, see, now all the ingredients are kind of homogenous and mixed together instead of creating that layer process that you're actually going for when you create the burrito. I didn't say all this at length, but I was basically like,

I want a whole new burrito. i want you to start from scratch here and there was a little bit of a meltdown but finally they gave me my burrito was it one uh wait did they so they took the burrito and they like kind of just lifted it up like a tissue and like let the contents pour onto the no she plopped it she took this she unrolled my burrito. She unrolled my burrito. She unrolls my burrito, and it's just like a homogenous mixture of chicken, black beans, rice, pico de gallo, sour cream, cheese, and guacamole. Just like you mixed them together, and she just flops it upside down on top of a fresh burrito, flour burrito tortilla, and then that's supposed to be okay. That wasn't okay yeah if that's if that's a microaggression i was microaggressed a couple years ago at a qdoba when they did the same thing but they didn't even because i've had it done before it's happened to everyone at chipotle

qdoba moe's whatever where they fuck up your burrito and you're like oh can you just put it in a new fresh one and they do exactly what you said i've never minded it being a little bit mixed up i don't care about that as long as it's a fresh tortilla that's not perforated or punctured. But what this person did, this girl, she must have been new because she punctured my burrito and she didn't have to be called on it. She immediately went over, warmed up the next tortilla, grabbed it, brought it over.

But she just placed the old burrito in the new burrito and then wrapped it on top. And it wasn't until I stopped her like, whoa, wait, wait, wait, that's two tortillas. That's two tortillas wrapped around my burrito and then wrapped it on top. And it wasn't until I stopped her like, oh, wait, wait, wait, that's two tortillas. That's two tortillas wrapped around my burrito. And she was like, yeah, the other one ripped. I'm like, I don't, I only want one. Like, no, could you please do it

so that I only, I'm very polite to people in food service. So I would not be rude. I was like, if I remember correctly, like, please, I'd like it with only one tortilla, please. Otherwise there's just too much bread. You know how it is. And she acted like it was, she put on the smiley face, but I could tell she was a little pissy about it. But that was definitely a microaggression.

You should have said, I want a layer of melted cheese between the two tortillas. Then you're all good. See, that's how I like to get mine usually anyway, is I get the burrito wrapped in a quesadilla. Ah. That's. Yeah, wrapped in a quesadilla ah that's yeah it's a quesadilla tell them to kind of jerry rig it into your food of choice right there they do that that's the thing you ask if you're like hey make it a quesadilla they're like oh good choice my friend they know they they just take another you know they take the tortilla out it's put the cheese on it and then they roll your burrito up in that. So you've got- You know what they're really doing? Is they're looking at the people behind you in line going, another fucking asshole ordering

off- Yeah. Oh, is that what you want, sir? You want me to make you three entrees and just- Yeah. All the same ingredients, would you like me to do that? Okay, sir. Everyone, we're gonna wait. We got someone here who wants three things in one. I know, sir, you're probably ordering and you have to get back to work.

That's fine. This gentleman right here wants a queso burrito. It's an $8 burrito. They can take their time and roll that fucker up. And, you know, and of course I do the double meat trick where you don't tell them it's double meat until they've done the first scoop. So now they've set a level of

scoop size. Right, because you don't want two halves when you order double. No, no, no. They're skimpy with that chicken like it's on their dime, right? Like he paid for all that chicken another trick is if you're in that line if you're at a busy one sometimes they just have the same person going back and forth making burritos and whatever the whole time sometimes they have two that like switch yeah always go with the biggest person preferably male that you can find if you can let someone behind you go up front if there's a small woman making it then absolutely do that say i'm still If you can let someone behind you go up front, if there's a small woman making it, then

absolutely do that. Say, I'm still thinking. You go ahead. And then she is going to make that guy or that girl the weak little burrito where she's like, oh, that looks like enough chicken for me. That should be enough chicken for this adult man. And they dump it in there. No, you want someone who has a little bit of empathy when they're making your burrito. So they

put that one scoop in and they go, would I be happy with that? I wouldn't be happy with that. And this gentleman right here is happy with that. And we're going to keep this patron returning. It gives a little bit of empathy when they're making your burrito. So they put that one scoop in and they go, would I be happy with that? I wouldn't be happy with that. And this gentleman right here is happy with that. And we're going to keep this patron returning. It gives a little third scoop. It's only like six or seven cubes, but it's enough. Anyway. New topic.

I love this. Well, I would love that. I could put an hour on burritos and the different places. You trying to push us out of this topic is microaggressing me pretty hard right now. You trying to push us out of this topic is microaggressing me pretty hard right now. So, Playboy Playmate faces prison for body shaming a pensioner in the gym. Do you guys remember this story? Yes.

Yes, I remember. First of all, let me just say, this woman's body is like perfection if I remember it correctly. Like this woman is like – it's absolute perfection. She's incredible to behold. But it seemed like she was really shitty and making fun of someone in the gym, right? Shaming them or – Yeah. So if you go to the link, you can see it. But she posted – I don't know if it was a tweet or a Snapchat or whatever, but social media thing of her doing a selfie and this lady in the background.

And it's in like the locker room, and the caption is, if I can't unsee this, then you can't either. And she's like, you know, got her hand over her mouth, like laughing at this woman who's not as fit as she is. But it's worth mentioning, this woman that she's laughing at is like over 50. I don't know if she's over 60, but you know, picture somewhere there. She's not going to look like a playmate anymore. You know, cut her some slack. She's literally a pensioner. But the reason she's in so much trouble isn't the body shaming. It's that she did it in a locker room. The challenge is if you, let me just fix

this. If you, It falls under revenge porn. It fell under revenge porn, right? So you can take a picture in public of anyone, and you can even say mean things, but if you do it in a place where there's this expectation of privacy, now you have a problem. And there aren't many places where there's an expectation of privacy,

but the locker room is one of them. You can literally see shower stalls and stuff in this photo. You feel like some people in the locker room is one of them you can literally see like some people in the shower stalls and stuff in this photo some people in the in the locker room are like aggressively confronting you with their nudity they're like hey this is where it gets done yeah we're in the locker room now look at it look at it like like like i like old guys at like health clubs and stuff i was at a um it was like a resort bed and breakfast like a whole thing where you got like got a massage and they went to a sauna. And there's benches in there and I've got a towel on. And these dudes are just walking around, just hanging dong everywhere.

And they're not in great shape and they don't have particularly big dongs. But it's almost offensive the way they do it. And I don't mean like, oh, I'm offended. I mean they're doing it in an aggressive, offensive way. They're like, look at my dick. I would say not particularly big dongs are the least offensive. I don't want to see your tiny dong, and I certainly don't want to see your giant schlong. If they have mid-sized dongs, those are the people I would invite to walk around.

Great pubic hair and low, big, egg-sized balls. I just don't like it when there's like a – I have no problem being naked in locker rooms and walking around naked. But there's a difference between walking around naked in the locker room and just dilly-dallying. And a lot of those guys are just like, when I go into a locker room at a gym, I will shower, and then I come back, and I'm not in one of those weird hurries where it's like the guy takes his towel off and then shuffles it into his clothes,

but you have places to go and things to do, and so you just start getting dressed and then you leave it's only old guys who just dilly-dally and will spend 15 minutes which doesn't sound like a lot of time but it is just like 15 minutes like they're in there naked standing by a bench when you walk into shower and when you're all dressed and leaving they're standing there naked maybe like holding their socks like they're contemplating getting dressed but it's like that's what i don't like is like the like why just stand around naked at this point like you're you're not gonna shower you're just you put some fucking clothes on like if you're really attractive yeah i don't know i don't have that experience that's what i imagine here like like i'm thinking that like so the

picture we're looking at has this woman all black barred out but i wish i could see what she looked like and i that's probably gonna be hard to do because this is like a criminal case now of some kind but but she was wearing something i've seen it with i imagine like a one-piece like black bikini that she's like really hanging out of everywhere but yeah she should be pissed about that though like imagine how pissed like if someone took a picture of me naked in the locker room and they just put it out there and was like huh you can't unsee this ugly fuck like i'd be like oh man like this is this is really hurtful like i'm my feelings were like i spotted sasquatch yeah like it would be so just humiliating of like wow okay so this person thinks i'm a big fat ugly slob and now they are telling everyone that i'm a big fat ugly slob yeah i assume she's fat you can't see anything

behind this big black bar so maybe it is that she's heavy or she's deformed i have no idea yeah it seems like a real tasteless uh mean-spirited thing for her to do she said i accidentally posted it i meant it i meant to just send it to my friend like that doesn't make it really that much better. You know? No. Like, you're still a piece of shit. No, I'm okay with that.

You're still a piece of shit for doing that, taking a picture of someone naked without their consent and just texting. I don't think she's naked. She might be naked. If she's naked, that's different if she's naked. Because for some reason in my mind, she's not exposed. she's just unattractive and in a like swimwear of some kind if she's

naked that's that's that's real bad i put a picture in there where she's um like fuzzed out instead of black barred and i can't see any hint of clothes and all that fuzziness. It's a lot of nude-looking color. And then the lady who posted it is there holding her mouth with her Pokemon trainer gloves on. She's laughing at her. And she's just real being spirited. I don't think she needs to go to prison over it,

but I'd love to see... She won't go to prison over it. Maybe she'll spend a little bit of time in jail. I'd like to see some think she won't go to prison over it maybe she'll spend a little bit of time in jail I'd like to see some like hefty attorney's fees maybe the victim gets something out of this like 50 grand transfers

from the bad guy to the good guy prison seems extreme but make her regret it and move on the chick who took the picture is is super hot like i just googled danny mather's picture hoping that like there would be this nude image so i can get a better idea of what's going on here this is someone who's never been told no to anything in their entire life oh why would you wow exactly so like i feel like some like super super sexy women

don't have boundaries established for them because everyone lets them do whatever they want because they're sexy and you just want them around. And so they get into this habit like this of, I can do whatever I want. I'm invulnerable. I've got people defending me every step of the way. I'm good looking. Everybody's on my side. And then they eventually flub it up with something like this.

So it was definitely Snapchatchat which kind of reinforces her claim that she meant to send to a friend rather than um rather than everyone i'm looking at it is that a shower i mean even in this picture it's hard to tell i think she's got bottoms on but no top i don't think there's any from what i'm looking at here it doesn't look like there's any uh like they showed any nudity here still though if you're in a locker room you just finished working out oh it's still in there and you see like a big ugly fat guy who just looks awful like you would never take a picture of that big fat ugly dude or deformed or whatever and text it to me and be like ha ha ha like she's got a bit of a one i'd be like don't send me pictures of

ugly naked men i don't appreciate it that is a bad angle for her, that picture you just sent. That smile of hers looks extra wide. But, I mean, that's the only picture I've seen where she doesn't look great. Like most of these other pictures, like when she's not, even when she's smiling wide, she looks good. She looks like she's Steven Tyler's pretty daughter or something. That's Liv Tyler. She's got too much mouth. And she's obviously beautiful right i feel like i'm pointing out megan fox's square thumbs or something like

that but in terms of like playboy playmates or whatever you just want to poke holes in this woman and there it is she's not that pretty she's a face that you could go either way on because if like i saw that picture you just linked, and you told me, like, this playmate is over in Zimbabwe right now helping children dig wells for clean water, I'd be like, yeah, you know what? Maybe her mouth is a little wide, but that's a really beautiful woman inside and out.

But now, because it's a different thing, it's like, oh, gross. I like her wide mouth. I think it's hot. I think she's incredibly hot and her body's like perfection yeah it's a shame she's such a horrible person clearly because that picture um i i you can't have that body and a soul it does ruin you doesn't it like i i feel like if you're crazy good looking then it's gonna fuck up something else about you. Your personality just won't fully develop or something because too much of it comes

too easily. Yeah, I think it's why there aren't very many attractive comedians because they haven't suffered enough to be able to always look at the funny side of things. They haven't had enough practice at that. Well, you know, I got abandoned here and she's fucking that other guy. It's funny because of this and that. That never happened to them. The attractive ones aren't that great.

Who's an attractive comedian? I was just thinking of, I think Sarah Silverman is a pretty good looking woman as far as comedians go. She's gotten attractive. She didn't used to be attractive. At least in my opinion. I feel like she's gotten more attractive as she's aged because she's spent more money on being attractive did she she made up that claim like she so she claimed that she had like oh yeah she claimed that she had this like gender pay gap thing at one of her employers and she like specifically mentioned

the employer and now her new position is okay i was lying about that there was no gender pay gap but don't let this invalidate the other gender pay gap claims that people make and i i heard about that it was because she like just if i'm not mistaken it was because she was not scheduled to be on stage that night and they gave her a guest spot which is basically like hey you can come on down do your material you're not working for us tonight but it's basically just time for you to hone your craft and get your next hour ready or whatever you're doing and she did that and then went out and pretended like it's like if i went to your barbecue kyle and cooked some brats and then got livid at the end of the evening when you didn't pay me for cooking like that it's like no you just showed up and it's like a thing that you

understood to be free like i don't know this was catering by taylor no, you just showed up, and it's like a thing that you understood to be free. Yeah, I didn't know this was catering by Taylor. I thought you were just flipping a few weenies over there. Yeah, I've known that was fake for a long time because those specific details have been out for a while. Like, no, no, no, she was just kind of walking on that night. Like, this wasn't like she was scheduled and contracted, that she's just a big old fat liar. She's very pretty, though. She's gotten more attractive. Helped her career.

I can't think of the names of the attractive comedian I'm thinking of, but most of the male comedians. There's a British guy who's pretty good looking. He does a lot of dealing with hecklers. Yeah, that's exactly what I was just thinking of, but I forgot. He might be a little small. Taylor, you're going to know who he is. Carr? Yeah. That know who he is uh car yeah yes yeah that's who he is yeah i read about him like having like um like plants in the audience

jimmy car yeah where he has like hecklers planted there and i watched a couple of his heckling videos and he is very good at handling it but it's almost like the the frequency of those hecklers i don't know if it's because they come to his shows and it's a self-fulfilling prophecy of i'm gonna heckle because he's good at handling hecklers and i'm gonna heckle again because he's good at handling and it's like a cycle or if he's actually planting people i don't know but he is really good at roasting them so i always thought he was fine at roasting them right like i remember one of his best ever is like you know i i fucked your mom last night and she said this about you. At least I think that's what she said because her mouth was full at the time, right?

Like that was – that's one of his lines. And I feel like that's something you might get out of a high school kid. It wasn't all that brilliant. When you have the mic, you get the benefit of the – I've had that benefit of the – I mean just recently – oh, so I bought Hope this car for like four grand as her first car. It was $4,500. And someone was like, I'd be pissed if my dad was a millionaire and he got me a Volvo. And I replied, I'd be pissed if my kid turned out like you, right?

It's like hundreds of upvotes on Reddit and they're screenshotting it and this and that. I mean, it was a fine comeback, but it was really that I had the mic. You know, people are just more inclined to give that guy extra credit for mediocre comebacks. UFC fighters get it too. Conor McGregor's not funny or profound or interesting. He's just good

compared to the other fighters. And they think he's great. Cormier's well-spoken. Cormier is well-spoken, yeah. People fuss at him too much. Yeah, they do. I like Cormier. I'm a Cormier fan, and itoken. Cormier is well-spoken, yeah. People fuss at him too much. Yeah, they do. I like Cormier. I'm a Cormier fan, and it has nothing to do with his fighting.

Reasonable, yeah. He's not a perfect person, though. Eh, who is? Very few. Good point. Yeah. What were we just talking about before we got to Cormier? This horrible woman. Ah, the horrible woman. Ah, it was after her. um what were we just talking about before we got to cormier because i thought i had this horrible

woman i had a horrible woman uh it was after her looking comedians hecklers hecklers and comedians um oh i'm gonna say that that bill burr thing that i linked the other day of him with the blind guy in the audience did you watch that yeah i've seen that before that was he's like talking to some guy in the audience and the guy's like oh but i'm blind and he's like you're not blind well he's like trying to tell him he's not blind and then finally when i was like here's my cane right here i've seen that one good yeah like that new topic yeah let me get a me undies ad i think good idea yes a little over two hours in it's time this episode yeah this is the right one. This episode of Painkiller Ready is being brought to you by MeUndies.com,

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ball gag. Now, thanks to MeUndies, another time per week. Yeah. You ever try edible underwear? That's just a used one. Tastes like shit. It's like a really gross fruit by the foot. Because you know that if you're buying a fruit by the foot or something at the store, it hasn't been there for super, super long.

There's probably a good number of people buying fruit by the foot at the store. There's some turnover there. If you're buying edible underwear, maybe just the area you live in, people aren't that into it. And so you're buying edible underwear from 1997, trying to eat that and all of it. It's basically alcoholic at this point from fermenting. I like the grape flavor.

That was strawberry! Well, it's grape now. The flavored lubricants are often a yeast infection. Oh, the worst yeah how could they even legally sell that right never even those ago it seems like a terrible idea it wasn't us actually we remember when wet platinum like sent lube to us and you know me and sending stuff on her friend and she got the the yeast yeah we gave it to our neighbor two doors down

and jackie's like you didn't know yeah you can't can't stick flavored lubricant up your hoo-ha You it's got so what are you supposed to be doing with is it only for anal sex and my hat and I'm and am I? So clean with my butt fucking that a little bit of this strawberry loop isn't gonna get your pussy anyway Let's be real here. It's ridiculous for them to even selling it sell it It's like selling strawberry strychnine strawberry flavored strychnine. It just doesn't make sense You don't want people to eat it, so why fucking make it taste like anything? I have a strychnine.

It doesn't taste that good. And it doesn't... Yeah, it's a real limited function. It doesn't lubricate well either. It gets sticky. It gets sticky and gummy. Take that stuff. Really?

Because there's sugar in there. Yeah, yeah. Put it between your hands. Rub your hands together for six, seven solid seconds. Then pull them apart from one another. It's going to be like taffy. You're going to see the strings of it stretch. Wet platinum premium, on the other hand,

that is straight up black bottle that says wet platinum. That shit is good for like 12 fucking sessions or 3,000 miles. It just stays as lube. You can fuck tomorrow. It can be lubed up all week. It's too much, honestly.

It is. It's too much. It's like if you use a lot of it and then you go get in the shower afterward, it's an actual scrubbing session. You have to get some special shampoo or something that'll cut through the grease or oil or whatever it is. Get some Dawn. I wash my cock like it's a

duck covered in oil after using that stuff. It's funny. You fuck, you shower, and it's still there. You can see the meniscus of the lube settling on the floor of your bath as it's rinsing out. My whole midsection has less friction than normal today.

You can't get rid of it all. I use it for everything. I have put it on door hinges. I swear to God. It's better than WD-40. It's got to be. It's better than WD-40. It's gotta be. It's so slippery. It's like from Christmas Vacation, National Loon Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, when he sprays the non-stick

stuff to his sled, and he takes off down the hill, and it just goes BOOM! And there's just a flame behind him. It's like that kind of lubricant. You spill that shit on hardwood, you better go get the mop, the something to cut it. You're gonna have to clean that. You gotta call a guy to go put put some carpet in because that hardwood is done.

You got to sand it out or something. It's, yeah. But yeah, honestly, and we're making fun of it, but everything we're saying is 100% true. That is the best lubricant you'll ever use. If you use lube for sex, then get wet platinum. There is no reason to get anything else. You don't want water-based lubricant. You want silicone-based lubricant.

And you want to use the right kind of condoms with it, or it'll melt them. It'll melt regular condoms. Keep that in mind. I don't like the way any lube smells, though. It dissolves them. Yeah. I thought that was like petroleum-based lubricants. Yeah, it's oil-based, isn't it? Because then it interacts with rubber.

I have a fear that wet platinum turns condoms into this thing that'll just kind of tear apart after a while. Okay. Well, if you're going off experience, I don't want to combat that. And I usually use the skin SKYN condoms that are like, uh, don't have um, what's that? They're the ones that

don't have latex in them. Yeah, yeah. Because you never know. You never know who's allergic to latex. Well, I mean, sometimes you, yeah. Because you never know. You never know who's allergic to latex. True. Well, I mean, sometimes you actually know the person you're fucking. You might fill out a questionnaire and latex. You'll be okay this evening. All right, latex.

That's my situation. That's all. I'm just saying. We've met before. Yeah, the whole flavored lube thing really doesn't make sense because like try and think of a use for it like what what is a use for it can you use it as a massage oil no you would it'll be like rubbing someone with like strawberry jam like it'll be like smooth for a couple seconds and then it's oh it's all i think it would be good if you were like

stroking a penis and sucking it and you wanted it to taste like strawberry Well, there you go. Yeah, even then even then wires Why would she have to like eat a bunch of lube for that? Can't you like they have like body powders like sugary powder they can just put there then you don't Sugary powder which is a power function as a lube Cuz you're doing some action. It's just body. Just look up like a body powder. It's just like sugar stuff that you can sprinkle wherever you want and then lick it off.

It's not lubey. Are you talking about frosting another human being before sex? You want it to be lubey. That's the point of lube. That's the wings of redemption style. No, but it's not the point of lube in this situation because it's just what would the lube serve? If anything, it's just going to drop down between your ass cheeks. It's going to get all over the place. It's going to get sticky very quickly.

And Johns can go next level when you add lube. Wait, I don't understand what you're saying. Lubes enhance hand jobs. I'm saying that she shouldn't be doing a hand job down there anyway. If she has flavored stuff all over your dick, get the hands out of there.

That's the thing you can add in the mouth and we're having a party. Maybe. I, that's the thing you can add in the mouth, and we're having a party. Maybe. I guess that's the one use I could think of that makes a little difference. You get the strawberry lube on her vagina. You get some peanut butter in her ass, and you get yourself a slice of bread.

She comes with a bun. Now, this is important with girls. Now, this is important. Most people won't tell you this. When you're doing this, you want to go from the front to the back. Always the front to the back with that slice of bread, okay? And don't use honey wheat.

Don't use honey wheat. You want white bread. You don't want any – Nothing with oats or seeds on it. Since honey doesn't ferment, like it never goes bad, maybe you can put honey in the hoo-ha and there's no – No, honey does go bad. It will not rot, but it will go rancid and if you eat rancid honey you i think you can die really you can make alcohol i thought honey was good from like egyptian days which i guess they're also today

like oh they seal it up as vessels those like uh um like pottery vessels and they're like sealed on top and they've they've broken that honey out before and I guess it's still good. And I know those survivalists and I know a guy who's like this have multiple five gallon buckets of honey all sealed up permanently and everything. So those five gallon buckets would

probably last thousands of years, right? Of edible honey. But just imagine those hard times when you're just like Mmm What are we having? A honey again? But just imagine those hard times when you're just like... Mmm hungry crack out another five gallon bucket of honey bill but yeah don't use that fucking lube any flavored lubes use wet platinum that's the best lube i've ever used only use i like to order from amazon and the big big bottle with the pump on top um that that's that's much nicer to have yeah that's so slippery you squeeze out and it gets so slippery on those bottles.

It's hard to pick up. If you pick it up days later, it's still like shit. You almost squeeze it out of your hand like a piece of soap. Yeah. And the worst part is it's so slippery. It's so slippery. And the word I'm looking for is they talk about viscosity. The viscosity is so low in this stuff.

It's so thin that it will seep out of its own bottle. The wet platinum bottle is incapable of containing... Our bottle is in a Ziploc bag. Yes, mine is too. It has to be, because it can turn it sideways even. You turn that thing sideways on any surface and wait 10 minutes to come back, and it has dribbled out a little quarter-sized splotch of wet platinum that will soak through bed sheets into mattresses like

it'll make the top of your dresser all of a sudden this nightmare zone where you you put your hand on it for it to like push yourself out of bed and your hand slips your elbow hits it then you fall on the floor like the nightstand if it's ever had wet platinum on it you'll be like zoom oh yeah i remember that nine months ago wet platinum touched it and it's still fucking lubed because it never goes away. I like the pump bottle, and I've even gone so far as I went to Target and got myself a porcelain dispenser that would be for bath soap. It's all nice, and I just fill that thing up with my big – I think it's 32 ounces, the bottle that I buy. It's $40 a bottle. That's a lot of Wet Platinum.

It's a lot of wet platinum. But I'm pretty liberal with my lubricants. So I can go through those little $10 bottles pretty quickly. We're running out now. But they sent us so much wet platinum. I've never had to buy it. If you could picture a 55-gallon steel drum, they sent us the bottom 20% of it. Just a box full of it.

All these jackie's giving them away it's i don't feel like i got enough i i remember getting like one i got like i don't know they have other kinds have you do you get multiple kinds they have i guess flavored then they have the original they have an anal blend i guess i didn't know that i don't think they call it the anal blend, but they should Yeah, that's the only ones I've seen I guess if you hit the mark on your first try no need to keep innovating No, yeah, I must have been in the labs where they're like we made a loop and they're like, okay first try I bet And he's like, all right job done

industrial or for sex? I don't know. Just put it out in the market and see what people do with it. Little column A, little column B. Yeah, stop stores from squeaking and stop women from fussing. Yeah. We signed two huge contracts with Adam and Eve and the Ford Motor Company. NASCAR loves this stuff.

Hitch, what are you using for lube? Join the conversation. man i'm taking a i'm just imagining hector going dry looking at my screen just saying don't say anything please don't say anything just laugh and oh yeah because hector told me he was an astro guy which you know to me like implied what a rookie hex was so just saying don't don't put hitch in an uncomfortable position like that what's his name hex has been on pk before he hasn't been on when i was a guest but i'm sure that you know he knows the the flow of the show and that we tend to get a little little silly you know sometimes anybody would judge your lubricant your lubricant of choice

at this day and age when there's so much so much other stuff going on especially i'm actually learning a lot right now i'm not gonna lie to you guys you guys have uh i'm getting on amazon right now just just one click buy that stuff you're gonna you're gonna love it it comes in a black bottle if it's not a black bottle You bought the wrong stuff Yes, it's very good. We need to get them as a sponsor. Where's Chiz? All right, they didn't have them. That's how he got that big barrel of supplies was that all they sent was products I have a shirt that has the logo as big as my chest and it says like get wet or something

It's one of those shirts you can't wear outdoors I just like I like put it on like a on a weekend or something and every now one of the shirts you can't wear outdoors i just like i like put it on like a on a weekend or something and every now and then i forget i'm about to step out the door to like go get kitty a pack of cigarettes or something i'm like oh let's not keep it wet let's put a polo on or something yeah like a complete invalid degenerate who walks in public with with lube shirts on yeah disgusting so i really don't oh no yours is probably better i was gonna say you were talking about shirts right there i i don't know why it bothers me so much but i really don't like shirts that are needlessly obscene and like in your face like i'm

not offended by it i'm just offended that someone would look at it and think this is a good idea this is what i should wear i should wear something that has like a big middle finger on it and says fuck the world i'm great or just some stupid like keep calm and fuck women or like i don't know i don't like sexual ones because i want to be like you don't have sex i can tell because you're wearing that i had a friend, his wife was a 10, like whatever, somebody's version of perfect. And they used to go off-roading together. He had this real nice buggy. And he always wore the same t-shirt, like on his off-roading weekends. It said, I love Head.

And Head is that they make skis for snow. And if you know that, then you sort of recognize the head font and know that it's sort of saying i love this brand of skis but something about his wife being in the passenger seat as he wore the i love head shirt it was like oh and that's her yeah like like it seemed a little it was extra crude when he wore it with his girl and because it's almost like implicating them and it's like if i wore a shirt that said like um anal sex is the only sex and then like i took melissa out to dinner like even though it's me being a dick wearing that shirt they're gonna be like well now i'm implicated in this weird kind of sex thing that you're doing so

i don't like that i don't like the over-the-top sex dirty shirt. The shirt that says I'm with stupid. Like in my head the I love head is like an arrow that says she sucks my dick. And it was just like ah, you know, like you're look, I'm as down as the next guy, right? Maybe more so.

But I just feel like you know, she doesn't deserve that. It's a bit crass. you know, she doesn't deserve that. It's a bit crass. Yeah. You know, it's a bit on the nose. I like shirts that are a little bit more witty. Like I'm going to wear a shirt that I think is funny.

Like one of them that I have that I don't know if it's funny or not, but it's a picture of the Hound. But he's been cartoonized, so he looks like the Colonel from KFC. And it says HFC, you know, Hound's Fried Chicken. And I think that one's funny. And if you watch Game of Thrones, you know, you get the reference from like, I'm going to have to eat every fucking chicken in this place. You know, that was a great scene, great episode. So, like, little shirts like that I think are funny.

But, you know, I don't want big hairy balls or something on my shirt, something disgusting that makes me look like a jackass. I try to avoid graphic tees in general. Jackie went through a phase of buying me every shirt she thought was funny at the store, and I just had a whole wardrobe full of X-Wing TIE Fighters and Superman.

Oh, she goes to Target. That's what it is. She got you the whole lineup at Target. They had this section. I know what section she went to. I don't know. Yeah. You go to Target, and they've got this whole thing of t-shirts folded up. They're not even, they're often not even hung. But then they've got like a

display of that t-shirt and they take like they fold into a square and they put that square behind like laminate of some kind and you can see this big board of every kind of superhero, Led Zeppelin, ACDC, Spiderman, everything Marvel,-timey bands anything trendy or they think would be cool for a graphic tee and they're like 14 a piece and she

just went yep yep yep yep yep yep so you're like iron man spider-man acdc like the beatles like you got the whole collection i know yeah and i'm just like like i not that i dress up or anything but at least like a step beyond graphic t can i get a polo shirt here and there you know i i go through we have all my um we have like this long hanger i don't what is it called the pole it's a standing clothes rack i think yeah and uh it's just like shirt like this this one, no, no, no, no. You wash them a couple times, and graphic tees look like the trashiest of shit. I have the same problem as you in, well, a lesser extent, but I will be looking through t-shirts sometimes because I'll be going to a friend's house, hang out, or whatever.

But there's still silly graphic tees I have from years ago that I don't want to wear where it'll be like, oh, I could wear this one. This looks like it'll fit. Oh, no, it's a picture of the Monopoly man that says, I make it rain on the front. Can't wear that. I'll look like an idiot. Oh, I'll wear this one. This looks like it'll fit. Oh, no. It's a picture of the Monopoly man that says, I make it rain on the front. Can't wear that. I'll look like an idiot. Oh, I'll take this one. It's got a weird looking dinosaur on the front.

Do I want to look like I'm really into dinosaurs? That's weird. And just looking through all that. And then eventually, I guess you settle on something plain or like a polo. Which I hate wearing polos. So that sucks. I like polos a lot. That's my favorite thing. I like to get a nice t-shirt to match the polo like if it's a black polo but like a purple emblem I like to find myself a polo or like a purple like

v-neck to wear underneath it I like polo ironing problem with the polos like that's the thing a t-shirt I feel like doesn't mean iron polo does um I usually have someone iron my clothes for me me too but she fuss she fusses back. That's one of her jobs. You should buy her a nice iron. Maybe that would do the trick. I just feel like the trouble is it's like there's an implied

like, hey honey, can you drop everything you're doing and iron this right now? I know. It's Monday. I should have at least seven or eight ironed shirts for my week. Don't you want me to look nice and professional when I go out and put my best foot forward for this family? You know, when I look nice, I feel nice about myself. And I feel like not only do other people treat me better, but I work harder, too. Could you do that for me?

30 to 45 minutes of your time from each week to just ensure that every day I'm feeling like the best version of your husband. Could you do that for me? Would you do that for me? If not, you know, maybe I could hire this Rosarita chick. I put her on Craigslist. She's 22. She's an exchange student. And she could stay in the guest house. She loves ironing.

She loves ironing and strawberry-flavored wet platinum. Just saying. Yes. She never gets infected. I like the way I look in polo shirts more than in graphic tees. I just hate the feeling on my neck for like the first 40 minutes of wearing them. Where it just feels itchy and kind of shitty. Oh, Chiz just linked some breaking news.

I can tell from the thumbnail. North Korea. North Korea. Large quake detected. Close. Is this sarcastic? North Korea nuclear test suspected after artificial quake detected close. Is this sarcastic? North Korea nuclear test suspected after artificial quake. 5.3 earthquake detected close to the test site.

Yeah, so they're testing nukes underground again. Which is illegal. I don't think they give a shit. They don't recognize your authority. He's like, oh, did we set off our hydrogen bomb the wrong way sorry yeah maybe next time we'll do it in your atmosphere oh that's not that funny it does bother me a little bit that they really are trending towards nukes like well of course they have nukes, but to be able to deliver the nukes.

It's delivery. Yeah, yeah. Even the delivery. Now, I read this Reddit post one time that was very informative about how far behind they are with the delivery. And it seemed to have a lot of evidence to it. He just went on and on in depth about how difficult it is to get the missile that will deliver anything significant anywhere that bothers us, really. Now, of course, they can hit South Korea and start a whole little nuclear war right there.

But as far as mainland U.S., which I don't know about you, but that's all I really care about at all. Us here in the contiguous 48, we're all safe from any sort of North Korean nuclear attack, I'd say, 100%. Here's my counter to that. I bet the guests we had sailing La Vagabonde could get their boat all the way to a port in New York City without anyone fussing at them. Right? Who's to say that something like that couldn't come from North Korea? You mean like load a nuclear weapon

onto a boat? Yeah, a 40 foot sailing yacht. I don't know enough about our anti-terrorism efforts or boating traffic or how ports work when you're an international vessel and all, but I got to believe that maybe there's some sort of

nuclear scanning that takes place but more likely they got to keep a pretty good check on what boats are going where maybe and and then how big is this nuclear weapon that the north koreans have because remember ours used to be so goddamn big that it was like well how are we going to get it there you know if they were enormous they would so i just you know, like, you know, go a little bigger, a catamaran. And doesn't it just get lost somewhere in the Pacific, you know? Like, do they really track every pleasure boat from here to there? I don't know either.

Maybe they get, like, tagged if they're coming from a certain area of the world. I have no idea. That does seem far-fetched, though. Yeah, it seems like that was a thing that would happen, right? if they're coming from a certain area of the world. I have no idea. That does seem far-fetched, though. Yeah, it seems like that was a thing that would happen, right? No, I was saying it seems far-fetched that we'd be able to track all boats all over the world. It seems like if you really had a mission, that they could figure out a way to do it.

But I don't know. They're really bad at feeding their people. for example strike is probably not his best move they um yeah we want to prevent somebody go from going to a mall and shooting up a bunch of people right that's the thing we'd like to stop but doesn't that seem easy to pull off you know i'm not saying i could be like paris level what'd they get? 140 people? 149 people? 80 people or something. Was it 80?

I was thinking of the bus thing. Oh, no, no. That was going with the one where they, like, trapped them in the stadium and stuff and just seemed to get shots off. Yeah, that was more than 80. Yeah. Yeah. You know, that is a little bit of planning and a little bit of luck and whatever. You know the guy in Florida castrated and gouged their eyes out in the gay nightclub?

They never reported it, but they castrated a lot of those guys and gouged out their eyes with blades and stuff. What? I had no idea. There was only one dude. Are you sure? Your source? Is that definitely true? The internet. That's where I get most of my knowledge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wasn't there or anything.

I didn't do any eye gouging. Let me do a quick Google search. What was it? Miami nightclub. Yeah. But how would he even do that unless everybody agreed to get in line naked? I don't know. That seems weird.

I haven't really. I think I'd die for my penis. If he was like, it's castration time, I think that's the time where it's the fight rather than the flight. You know what I mean? Yes, it's like I'm going to either lose it and want to die, or just die

getting shot right now trying to resist. There's no way that a whole big group of gay men, and he was like, I'm going to cut all your dicks off. And then they're like, but then we'll be okay right like no way like they definitely fight back i don't believe that story i don't yeah i just seem like you know like i know my penis and i we've had so many good times together um i would fight to the death for that guy yep yep some of my lifetime highs Lifetime highs. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And it's a comfort for you in lifetime lows. So ISIS is banning women from wearing burqas because chiefs have been attacked by veiled assassins.

Didn't everyone see this coming? Doesn't it seem like you could just put a small guy in a burqa and have him murder you? It seems like, yeah, actually actually you could like just put a little bit of eye makeup on them or something like yeah at best i don't even know the women are wearing makeup and it's not like you really need a shapely body to pull off a burka you know everyone kind of looks the same hangs off your shoulders and uh and you get to walk around with like a costume on in disguise they should call them ninjas not burkas yeah they that doesn't surprise me they're making it illegal in france too or i think i guess they've made it illegal in france which makes sense because you don't want

you know a large subsection of people walking around basically in disguise in public all the time which is not generally what is good for society. If there was a giant contingent of people who dressed up like clowns and roamed the streets of New York or something, they'd have to eventually be like, alright, this is bullshit. You can't just walk around dressed up as a clown, people. Nobody knows who you

are. People think you're going to do something creepy and then they wouldn't be able to pinpoint you. I want to talk about the clown thing. To wrap up the last one, because this is the way my mind works, I think what they did is be able to pinpoint you. All right. I want to talk about the clown thing. Just to wrap up the last one because this is the way that my mind works. I think what they did is they banned burkinis and then they unbanned them. So now you can wear a burka bathing suit again. A burkini. So I was wrong.

It wasn't the one in Orlando. It was the one in France. That's where they castrated the guys and gouged out their eyes. Well, that just sucks but get this I have a Facebook friend really nice guy loves to dress up as a clown and he dresses up as a clown all the time

he has really I want to say weird because that sounds mean but he has facial hair in a pattern that you'd never see maybe a mustache and a bald spot here and then a goatee and and uh so i saw him in his full clown makeup and he you know he colors in the different patches of his face in different ways this guy is a first class clown his hair is like a foot and a

half long and on day to day you don't really notice it so much it looks like maybe he just has long hair or something but then when he spikes it out into like angry clown hair you're like whoa like this he's almost like a mall santa you know who's living his whole life so that when it's like game day he really pulls off this like killer clown well there's been some clowns like hiding in the woods luring kids around yeah so now there are people who are angry at clowns and he's feeling this like clown oppression that that like he never felt before he was always previously a guy with an interesting hobby now there's like i was just a run-of-the-mill pedophile. I saw this Facebook rant. It was a black guy. He had a Glock.

He had a Smith & Wesson and two AR – you don't call them assault weapons. Is that what they're supposed to be called? What is the assault term that people don't hate? It's either rifle or weapon. I think it might be weapon. Anyway, big black scary gun. And the guy's got like two AR-15s like tucked in either leg and two of these like yo we get any clowns coming around here i'm gonna show them the glock i'm gonna

show them this he's taking the laser sight pointing at the camera if that doesn't work we'll bring out he's got four guns in two hands and this is his big plan to take out clowns and then like my friend is like posting that an offering a rebuttal on how clowns haven't hurt anybody since John Lee or Gacy, right? Or whatever that guy's name is. And he's like, the clowning community is the cornerstone of American society, goddammit. Dude, that's his argument in a nutshell. He's like, dude, clowns are really great people. You know, we just have fun and we play with kids and this and that.

He's got a special van decked out like the mystery bus. It's an ambulance. And it says, like, the zombie catching clown posse or something like that. And he's not an insane clown posse person. Do not confuse him with those. Juggalo. Yeah, yeah. No, he is just a clown enthusiast.

And it's, I don't know. I don't know how much I like a clown enthusiast. His Facebook posts on it are the best in my feed. Just him. Are you excited for remaking It? I don't know. I'm really just watching. He hasn't mentioned It.

Really, he's just standing up for clown rights. You know what i think is going on with all these clown spottings we keep seeing these clowns in the woods that are supposedly disturbing people i'm hoping that it's viral advertising for first for the new stephen king's it movie i hope this is that that's all it is because it just seems bizarre for someone to dress as a clown and then just like and then run into the woods there's gonna be a clown activist group come on like all dressed up where they're run into the woods. There's going to be a clown activist group come on, like all dressed up, where they're like, well, the fact remains, Barbara, I appreciate your concern,

but clowns have been wandering the woods for years. Don't actually cause a problem that the media covers it. You don't cover all the squirrels that I've found and helped. You don't cover the children that I bring back there to show neat survival tricks. That's what we need, you know? Clowns. I'm afraid of clown clowns i don't like clowns i don't like people who dress up as a clown i don't think it's funny um that clowns are disturbing um i don't like it um i wish there were no clowns if you're

as i call it would be illegal and punishable by something silly something equally silly as being a clown you know they just spray you one of those like seltzer water things and like throw a pie in your face if they catch you in public dress as a clown it's just silly i don't get it yeah i don't i don't care for clowns like i'm not afraid of them like i don't have a fear of clowns like a very a lot of people do that's very common phobia i just like i don't get it like when i see one it's like you you know that a lot of people don't like that and that everyone else isn't that crazy about it because it's not 1907 and we have tv and all sorts of things that are entertaining like you dancing around like some

sort of goober poorly juggling when i could find something better on the internet from someone not dressed like a praying pedophile like you're just you're not selling me on any of your your traits as a clown so don't share this picture but this is my friend oh oh well a little water is my home now a little different than what I was yeah I think the ar-15 would do it yeah yeah what were you picturing how is he different than I described well he's a scary clown that's the problem this guy is a scary like punk rock clown with like like he's a frightening clown like like i don't want to see that guy at nighttime i don't he shouldn't

be allowed to he looks a little like the the rob zombie clown guy who's always like you know cutting someone's face off and wearing it or something also on his jacket i see it said it says six six six six six six twice so like oh that's this is not even it's on both of his chests yeah this is not the way people dress up like it maybe you just are a clown lover and you just like seeing kids smile and you like to do the tricks and go to the birthday parties and make the balloon animals and like goof around and honk your nose. I could see that. Like maybe that's just what you like to do. Maybe you're a little odd like that.

This guy has no interest in entertaining children. He really enjoys kind of making people feel unnerved and upset. No. Which is – Kids love him. And he loves kids. which is kids looks like he's part of a group and he loves kids like he does these like like heartfelt commentaries on facebook where he's like oh he visits hospitals with another group of kids cry today i don't understand why they don't understand my crap yeah this is like a

clown that would be in scared straight like you're gonna do your homework i'll fucking stay under your bed and i'll find you you You know, I'm always watching. He visits hospitals in the, is it the pediatric ward where the kids are? And, like, cheers them up and stuff. Like, he's a really sweet, scary-looking guy. He's a super guy. It says Creepsville. Creepsville 666, official horror cadet.

Creepsville 666. What children is he? He's a really great guy. I promise you, I've known him for years. He wouldn't hurt anybody. He's a worthy friend. Well, the kids around him alone or anything, but he's a great guy.

He's a great guy. I mean, he tells a story. You wouldn't believe it. And he always brings wine. He always brings great guy. I mean, he tells a story. You wouldn't believe it. And he always brings wine. He always brings wine. Strong drinks. Funny tasting. Makes me feel funny. That guy's a very scary

clown. Yeah, I don't like clowns at all. That guy's a bit of a scary clown, I'm afraid. I can't argue against that. He's got some sort of zombie hunter clown thing going on. I don't want to say too much more some sort of zombie hunter clown thing Going on but I don't want to say too much more I feel like people will be outing him

But yeah yeah Super guy scary clown And he's been arguing on Facebook For days about like clown rights And how misunderstood he is I imagine in the streets All of them dress up clown power Clown power clown power clown And in between they all honk their nose I imagine in the streets like all of them dress up cloud power

And in between here they they'll honk their nose Why we want more balloons Stomping real loud with those big oversized shoes Riding in those tiny little bicycles with the honks on the side. The Stephen King's It movie, I saw it way back in the day, and it's very scary. I can't think of the name of the guy who's a clown right off the bat. He died recently, but he's a good actor. But the new one, I'm excited for because i like horror movies and i like something anything that's going to be genuinely

scary and thought-provoking at the same time and i think you should read it before the movie comes out well i mean the the fucking movie's over three hours i just don't know if i'm gonna be able to delve into that book wonder what the audio see See, audiobooks intrigue me because I like Roy Detrice in Game of Thrones. I wonder who's going to be reading it if I purchase it on Audible. It'll be someone good. Yeah, I'm sure it tells you. And if it's on Audible,

they have quality checks and it may make sure it's good. I don't know. I'd like to have a scary guy to read it to me like I want Vincent Price to read that oh I bet it is a scary guy like it's a it's a creepy book and it's going to be a creepy movie I'm looking forward to that one I think it's going to be good yes anyways the clown like the reason that he was kind of so scary was like he didn't look like a clown like that guy he looked like a clown that like almost got lost

and it wasn't until you looked like closer at him and paid more attention that you start to notice all like the grim realities about him like the sharpened teeth and and is that paint caked around his mouth or is it not like what is that like what's he doing here why like there's blood on his pants or like just like little little things it's not like ham-handed beat you over the head with like oh i'm scary like it's it's more nefarious than that i like that storm drain he's like hey hey there oh that's that's that's a scary stuff that'll give a kid it's been a long time since i've seen it yeah the 80s were a scary time for children. Child deductions back then, too. We'd just disappear.

New topic? Sure. The price of pot is tumbling in Colorado. I saw that. I read that article. A pound of cannabis, this is October, so almost a full year ago, was about $2,500. And now it's about $1,500, nearly in half. So you're telling me things get more affordable when you take them out of the black market and let competition take place?

I don't believe that. It turns out to be true. It's interesting. Man, this isn't really a bold position, but the prohibition on pot has turned out to be a real problem. It's done more harm than good. Oh, yeah. I see the rest of the country just tumbling in that direction. Oh, yeah.

There's multiple states that vote on it this time around Florida, Arkansas, I think Maine and maybe Maryland. I think Maryland already did, and it's about to go into effect. But I think maybe Maine is voting. There was a whole list. It was a bunch of them. And they're either voting for full legalization, like California is, which would be, you know, it's like the world's eighth or ninth largest economy all of a sudden has legal marijuana, not just medical marijuana. But I know there's like really stringently controlled medical marijuana coming to Florida and maybe Georgia too. But it's always like, oh oh yeah you can use this kind of oil if you're about to die

but you can't bring the oil into the state nor can you produce it in the state so if you could magic up some marijuana oil feel free to use it you dying person they voted on it in Missouri like four years ago and it was just a resounding like nope nope fuck you

like whole middle of the state says no which sucks but eventually it'll just be so many states that all the rest kind of have to be like all right fuck it like now we're just losing a bunch of money which makes like some states do that one of my buddies or i had quite a few friends there's a college in kentucky uh murray state and at murray state it's in a dry town. And so you can't just go out to a store and buy booze. And so what do they have to do? Everybody at that university with like a couple 10,000 people will drive across state lines, spend a ton of money in the adjacent state county that sells alcohol, and then they come back. So it's like all that you've done

is say, oh, we are so against booze in our county that we're gonna let everybody here basically tourists for four years because they're in school spend all their money outside of our local economy which is just stone cold retarded like why it makes no sense that's the same thing that's happening with marijuana like i feel like states should be like come on let's get this going there's money to be made here we want to be one of the like if missouri got it suddenly illinois people are coming through fucking minnesota michigan whatever like you're pulling tons of people in just like colorado you're missing it though see they're already making money off of it because of you know their prison

systems and their law enforcement like they're already making plenty of money off illegal marijuana so yeah it's. And I think the way they're looking at it is like, oh, our neighbors, you know, Colorado here are bringing all these drugs into our state and all this crime into our state. So they look at it like that. They always take the moral high ground. And where's the money to

come from? That's not making money, though, is it? It's not making money, but it's keeping jobs, right? So you've got these police unions and all those groups who are like, oh, absolutely not. Do not legalize the thing that's keeping us in work. It'd be like if you told janitors all of a sudden statewide, hey, you don't have to clean up vomit ever again. Like one in three school janitors then loses their job, right? Yeah, and I'm sure that water fountain manufacturers

threw a big hissy fit when they decided everybody could drink out of the same one because they're like well our business has gotten half we can't put two everywhere anymore for blacks and whites like you just have to get over that i think like one of them is like if you have pot there people are going to start spending money invested in the water they're going to start like having prisoners like getting incarcerated it makes sense because they're quote making money from it but it's also not stimulating the economy the same way that if people were buying a consumer good in those states like it's one of them is to keep jobs in a neat system that they like that they have the other one is opening up a whole new world of commerce and different types of businesses and competition i don't know it's interesting to see the capitalism around it too

right because i'm not an expert in pot, but apparently the raw bud is just not where the money's made anymore. It's in all the enhanced stuff, the cookies, the lollipops, the, I don't know, maybe the accessories, like the bongs and the glassware and things like that, but the bud itself. For sure. But then there's concentrates and edibles is what you're

getting at right um yeah but it seemed like it was more clever than just like cookies you know that people were doing stuff with it they have stuff like they have like gummy bears and sucker i have a couple friends who live in colorado and will send me pictures of stuff that they buy and it looks like you walk into like the candy aisle at a cvs and just grab a bunch of stuff that they buy and it looks like you walk into like the candy aisle at a cvs and just grab a bunch of stuff and they take a picture of that and it's like okay you just show me a bunch of snacks whatever but there's little x's on it to show how much pot's in there and it's like this is a baby ruth but if i eat the whole thing i'll probably have a panic attack there's like the pot version of gatorade and and you know things that like i i feel like people at home can make brownies

you see i don't mean i didn't even occur to me that it might taste bad. There's a taste that doesn't come out easily. Is that the scoop? I've never had a pot Gatorade, so I have no idea. But that doesn't sound, like, if you told me, I don't know, that just sounds gross. Yeah, I believe that most edibles, whether you're buying them from a store or you're making them yourself, are going to have a rancid they taste like they smell i would say yeah and pot doesn't have the best smell but if you've

ever smelled pot you're usually just like oh well that's very pungent yeah it's skunky i know a little bit about two things right like with alcohol only certain things are able to like mask that alcohol taste and another one is creatine like um and so i work with gamma labs right i like them a lot g fuel etc well they have another line that's for people who are exercising like a pre-workout formula and in that they have fewer flavors because only some flavors are able to mask the creatine flavor whereas like you know if you take that out all of a sudden there's every kind of like green purple orange drink creatine tastes like shit yeah yeah yes it does and i've got some lemon lime hydrated you gotta drink a ton of water that's there were kids that died

from that their coaches they would be on creatine and their coaches would have them out there like you know doing two a day football practice and not giving them water you dehydrate and fucking die or you are a college kid taking a bunch of creatine but you're also not drinking enough water and getting hammered every night and so your body's just like withering into a crispy husk of dehydration i think one of the things you were maybe like referring to what is like some of the processes that they now use to obtain the uh the concent There's CO2 processes, and then there's butane processes, and then there's some other ones. And there's a big contraption that's going into creating those concentrates. We were watching a YouTube video the other day,

and they had created this. It was 99.999% THC, and they were clear crystals that looked like meth. It was a clear crystal that looked like meth, and there were little granules, and he would take this little spoon, and he spooned up some of these crystallized THC,

and he poured it into his thing and smoked it. Oh, get out of town. But first, he dripped some terpenes on it for the flavor. So it was pretty ridiculous. That's what I like about the idea of weed being... Those are like the flavor notes of it was pretty ridiculous that's what's like no that's what i like about the flavor notes of marijuana i like the idea of weed being legalized as like that legal drug because it's like it's the not scary drug you know it's the one that like if you're

walking around at a concert and you see people with like a scary looking like crack pipe you're like all right we're standing not fucking here we're gonna go stand somewhere else if you see somebody with a joint you're like okay more likely than not they're gonna smoke that and then kind of sway back and forth and just be in a good mood i'm not afraid but i i don't know i just don't like making it seem scary you know like like like white crystals and powder like when i see white crystals and powder i think scary drugs which is probably just a stupid dare campaign that seeped in but that's what i said that i was like someone's gonna od on thc i know no one's ever od'd on thc you can't i i don't know i i just feel like if i just not a

thing if i drank a coffee cup full of thc crystals would i not die no i i don't think you would i just don't think you would um i think you could i think if you ate a coffee cup full i think a caffeine overdose i think you could definitely overdose on caffeine and die long before you would overdose if someone makes me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and replaces the jelly with that fucking wax that people smoke is that not gonna kill me fine you'd be fine really you could od on salt water so easily you could go buy a bottle of uh like a handle of everclear which is just i don't know if you guys have that in your state a lot of states don't have it but it's just super super concentrated grain alcohol like 99 percent blasted on grain alcohol like you can kill yourself on that way easier than marijuana like people accidentally

die from alcohol kill yourself on marijuana or you or someone would have done it by now like look at the society we live in with warning labels on shampoo and fingernail clippers and people having their cars burnt down burnt up by their iphones right like pretend they're not for your ears thank you yeah because because of the legal ramifications of suggesting that someone sticks something inside of their head. You just can't do it because people are so dumb and irresponsible. So, if you could kill yourself with weed, someone would have killed

themselves with weed by now. They just would've. Yeah, I'm thinking... Like a dozen people die every year from vending machine accidents, right? Like, don't forget that. Those could be related. Those could be related. Those could be related. That's an indirect weed accident.

Oh my god, you got the pepper! It's definitely happened where someone's probably gotten really, really high and then done something stupid and then killed themselves. That's marijuana-related. How many people were trying to score some weed and the system pushed them

into a scary neighborhood where they were then stabbed to death you know like you could call that a marijuana related death but nobody has ever eaten you i bet you could eat you could eat more marijuana than your than your stomach could hold and it still wouldn't matter and it's got to be heated up to become psychotropic anyway so like just eating that wax while it would taste bad i think and maybe constipate you because you're like eating some sort of wax yeah see gunk it wouldn't get you high at all you know you'd have to know that yeah oh i didn't know that about wax either well anyway i think that what's happening in colorado is super interesting Like, you know, regardless of where you stand on pot, if you're at all interested in economics,

like adding capitalism to this thing and legalization and watching what's happened, and they've taken it from these, like, I don't know, crazy Mexicans growing it in the middle of a forest in, like, a tiny little plot and growing garbage to, like, scientists with grow lamps and indoor, like, you know, perfect cultivation, you know, the guys who were just like really passionate about their flowers and they

don't look like flowers to me, but you know, whatever, we'll go with it. And, and, and now like drinks and lollipops and all that stuff is like where the money is made. And, and the other stuff is just getting so cut rate that like you know the profit margins are down and it i don't know i'm just fascinated by what's happening with pot and and somehow colorado is still the pot state right like who else has legalized it alaska i think did washington did um that's it you think it's just Washington? I think it's just Washington and Colorado.

I don't know about after. So there's a difference between legalizing the sale and use of marijuana. Everybody's got these weird different laws, but the two places that I know, you can just, as Joe Blow, walk into a store and say, give me an ounce of weed and then walk out with it. I don't know if Colorado would give you an ounce. But you know what I'm saying. Colorado and Washington are the only ones that I know of. I'm pretty sure, I could be wrong, but I'm looking at it right here,

that it's Colorado, Washington, Alaska, and Oregon. Okay. Oregon? Okay. Is that right? What are the two top left states? That's Oregon and Washington. Yeah, yeah.

Washington's on top. So we're going to get this weird time in the nation where it's legal in half the states and the other states it's not. It's kind of like buying fireworks. You're just going to drive the nearest 30 miles. Yeah. I don't know. It's going to get weird. Yeah, fireworks are illegal in my state nearest 30 miles. Yeah. I don't know. It's going to get weird. Yeah, fireworks are illegal in my state.

Mine too. But I don't know. But in my head anyway, Colorado is still the place. I don't see a lot of people taking Washington vacations. It's Colorado. Ground zero. Yeah, it's ground zero. So when Maryland legalizes it, well, Maryland's maybe a little different because it's local to like the New Yorkers and Philadelphia guys.

Isn't it medical in Maryland? Oh, I don't – I just thought it was on the ballot to be fully legal. I don't – that seems super unlikely. Oh, really? I thought they were getting medical marijuana because, you know, a gun surgeon was going to be able to get it for his whole thing. Yeah, I think that's the reason. The reason it's big in Colorado is, A, they were the early adopter. They're the first ones to do it.

And, you know, they've got the infrastructure already laid down. There's a whole process for determining who can grow it, who can sell it. There's a limited number of licenses. So they've already went through all those processes and all those those growing pains and it seems like they didn't limit them at all because when we were out there every single little podunk town had three dispensaries in it like three and like the town would not have a burger king but it would have three dispensaries did you see that netflix documentary on on it no oh it was super interesting so it was you did was it breckenridge is that the name of the town yep yeah yeah no oh it was super interesting so it was you did was it

Breckenridge is that the name of the town yep yeah yeah yeah so it was Breckenridge had a bunch of later I'll make it up like three or four places that were on the main strip the spot you really want to be to sell pot and all but one went out of business while waiting for pot to be legal because it was expensive to sort of have a spot there and it was it was legal for medical but they just turned away customers all day long and then finally the with one company left standing in the good spot it became legal and those guys became millionaires and started like exploding and investing in new things but the town was just pressuring them all the time because they felt like it was a bad look

that they didn't want on their like prestigious i think what they were telling them was like uh we want you to have to move your shop over to this like other corner of town and their big thing was like okay if we move to that part of the town like this is breckenridge people come here on vacation they walk around the strip and they go eat then they'll walk back to their hotel or walk back to their condo whatever like if you put us over here even though it's like only a couple miles away nobody's going to go like people are only going to like go to seek pot there nobody's going to do what naturally they would do would be like hey let's go look around there were like four or five stores and literally the one in on the strip got 80 of the sales and all the other ones hated it

they felt like it was unfair and that the sales would be evenly distributed at the edge of town if you took the one that was sucking up all the sales away. And eventually that's what happened. They kicked them out of that area and they had to go set up shop with the peons on the edge of town.

The next five years is gonna, I think marijuana is gonna change big time. It's not that I have any faith in whoever's going to be president next, but just our culture is moving in a way that I don't think can be slowed down where the stigma around marijuana is decreasing every single day. And more and more people like, like middle-aged common sense kind of people are seeing the benefits and realizing that there really aren't any drawbacks when you look at this thing when it's practically put forward to you. You know, you look at the situation in Colorado with fewer

underage drinking deaths and less marijuana use for like that lowest of age groups. They made weed legal in the state but children are doing less of it. You know what I mean? Like, there's your proof right there. Because now it's like booze, you know?

It's regulated. Yeah, it's regulated. You have to find someone to buy it for you if you're not of age. We always said that when we were in high school. Like, it's so hard to score booze because nobody wants to, like, no adult wants to be the one to slip us a case of beer. No adult wants to buy me no adult wants to be the one to slip us a case of beer no adult wants to buy me a bottle of vodka but we all knew that you could go get weed easy because crazy mike's weed is illegal so he'll sell it to kids he'll sell it to adults he's just trying to sell it you know he

doesn't fucking care he's trying to get rid of it so he's not holding on to this illegal substance anymore yeah sure take it it was always so much easier to get marijuana than it would be to get alcohol. And we wanted alcohol. It was hard to get alcohol. If I didn't have my old buddy Chuck, Chuck got me laid many a time because it was just like, not that I was like, yeah, drink more!

Come here! It wasn't like that. But I always had alcohol to take to a party or to facilitate an event that could only transpire through alcohol. That made you the bell of the ball in high school. The bell of the ball. Yeah. Yeah, I always had alcohol.

I would go on these awkward trips to the liquor store with this 40-year-old homeless-looking man, and there I am, 17, 18, 19 or something. man and there i am you know 17 18 19 or something and and i'm trying to like not draw a lot of attention to our to us at the liquor store as to what we're doing i'm like yeah chuck you get yourself a little something and you get me a little something but i know better than to get like a hundred dollar bottle of liquor we got to get something that he might believe you would buy so let's get you a 45 bottle of liquor and then i just remember him like he grabbed a six-pack for himself and had these soggy handles from sitting in the cooler it was a cardboard like six-pack holder and the handle came away and all six beers fell to the concrete floor right there at the cash register and just boom just shattered glass and beer all over my feet his

feet and he didn't even lose it he didn't skip a beat he goes motherfucker that cooler made this thing so goddamn soggy i ain't paying for that give me another one and the guy behind the counter just went yes and i couldn't believe it i thought for sure we were about to be investigated like brought under a closer inspection and he was gonna be like get that fucking kid out of here while you're at it, you old hobo. But he gave us a free six or a beer and got out of there with my... Did you ever pull a hey mister when you were younger? Never. I would be...

What's a hey mister when you find a stranger to buy it? A hey mister is when you go to a liquor store and you look for an adult outside a liquor store. And you go, hey mister, could you... If I give you $20, will you buy me this? And then usually what they would do is just keep walking but every once in a while you come across a real degenerate and and they will do it for you usually in exchange for some crazy markup like it's one guy like one second he's walking in on his phone or doing whatever and you know just no thoughts

of anything and then you give him this proposition and immediately it's like okay but you got to buy everything i want to it's like what well what but you've got to buy everything I want too. It's like, what? What are you going to buy? Well, now I'm going to buy quite a bit. Ever get robbed by a haymister? I have. I get very thirsty just talking to you here. Yeah, I'd be like, here's $20.

We want a case of beer that costs like, whatever, $8 or something. And they used to have peels. It was the cheapest beer. Anyway, he'd leave and he'd be like, yeah, yeah, I bought myself a Michelob with your 20 and there's nothing you can do about it. And I could beat you up.

That was like... You should be like, oh, well let me find a new... I guess you're going to rat him out. Yeah, you're out of luck. Well, you don't do it alone. You have a whole group of hoodlums there so that they know if they rip you off, like maybe there's some car damage coming their way, you know? We're like 17 at this point.

You think that Woody and his friends are a threatening hoodlum-looking bunch, though. Yeah, we weren't. And then at 19, I turned 21 with my fake ID, and that was the greatest. I remember one time I was in like a freshman in college or something, and the guy behind the counter I went to high school with, he was in my class. So I whip out my fake ID and he goes, Woody, come on.

I know you're 21. And I was like, yeah, yeah. You don't have to show me that. I know you're 21 already. And he just sent me on through. Oh, you're a good guy. I went in when I was 19. Like, one of the ballsiest, like, alcohol-buying moves ever

is I didn't have a fake ID on me when I was, like, 19. And I went in on behest of my friends because they're like, you look the oldest. Just go in and try and do it. And so I just went in, put it down, and, like, pretended to be, like, you know, really engaged on something, like, acting, like, trying pretended to be really engaged on something. Acting, trying to look the way that I imagined adults look when they're like,

ah, fucking business. And so I just did that, and he just sold it to me. And it wasn't until later that you realize that dude working there doesn't really give a shit. He's just at a gas station working. If he thinks you look 21, he's just he's just like whatever his thought is i've got 48 minutes until i get to go home not uh i gotta make sure i keep this place locked down and secure only legal purchases when i'm running the show like they they just really don't care that much and so actually some of them do some of those people really do take it seriously because it's like a little power trip get trouble too now i if the

business like sells cigarettes to a minor like they'll send undercover kids in like people who look like they might be 20 but they're really set 17 and they'll send them in there to buy a pack of smokes and if you sell this grown-ass looking man a pack of smokes they come in like oh you're fine five thousand dollars and fire that employee too like they really lay the hammer down on you um i was telling you the other night about how when i was 19 my little go-to was to have my two friends go into the bar uh get a table and a pitcher of beer and three glasses and then after they'd been id'd not that they probably would be because they were 25 or 24 something like that and my 19 year old ass would just kind of slide right on in and

start drinking as quickly as possible because once i start drinking they have served a minor and it's like you really want to see my id because you might be opening a whole box of worms you don't want to get i want to just bring us another picture of miller light and just uh let the night flow. You know what I mean? But I just remember that bartender was like, no, I have to see. I have to see. And I was like, you've given me beer before.

And he's like, I did not see then. And I'm like, yeah, but you gave it to me then. And finally getting found out and having to go on a date when she didn't work. And it was a whole problem. Oh, man. That's a lot of trouble to go through to have some miller light i just wanted to sit there and you know eat my chili poblanos and and have a nice cold beer after like fucking long ass day of work and could never yeah it's hard to make to pull that together i'd be out in the parking lot on my phone waiting on them to text me like oh we got the table we got

the picture it's good and you know sometimes i wouldn't even go through the restaurant maybe on the patio and i'd just hop the fence get in the patio and slide into that And, you know, sometimes I wouldn't even go through the restaurant. They'd be on the patio, and I'd just hop the fence, get in the patio, and slide into that chair. And, you know, if you're lucky, then the person who brings the beer is different than the waitress. You know, she was just like, ah, I need a picture of Dos Equis at table eight. And some busboy brought it, and then he ID'd people as far as she knows. So most of the time I could get in undercover at 19 and drink, though. Did you guys have that parent that let you drink? Like a friend's parent or anything?

I had that. Alright, so here's the scoop. One of my friends had cystic fibrosis. Still has it. You always have it. And because of that, he wasn't able to put on any weight. He was always kind of like just too skinny. Kind of muscular, but just like the

doctor wanted him to have more body fat on him. So one of the ways that they could do that was they let him drink beer. And all his friends were allowed to drink beer too. So it seemed like, we were into professional football at the time. So every Sunday afternoon, we're all just going to his house to watch it because that's where the beer is. Every Monday night, like I'm sleeping at his. I'm like 17 years old, a junior or senior in high school, staying over his house on Monday nights because I'm so drunk that I really shouldn't be driving home. I'm waking up at like 6 a.m., racing home, grabbing my books and going to school on Tuesday. And yeah, his parents just let us drink yeah we did the

same thing in high school at a couple friends houses except like the big thing was bonfires and so it'd be like oh we're going to have a big bonfire basically far enough away from the house that we can get shit faced and not have anybody come down and like my parents even at the time would be like a bonfire it's the middle of july and i'd be like yeah you know though you gotta have smoke to keep the bugs away and that's just the way it is so i'm gonna go have a bonfire third one this week all your clothes smell like smoke and beer it's like well i don't i don't know let me hey let me know when you smell vomit we'll slow things down in hindsight the whole letting your kid drink thing turned out

like it's kind of a selfish move right like i'm keeping my kid here at the house home and safe all your kids i don't know fucking figure it out i guess you know like i'm the one driving home on a motorcycle at like 6 a.m at mock one to get to school on time while he slept in his own bed because they're also like stupid parents though that would uh like call and check up on their kids and like like have like strict rules of like you have to be home by midnight or whatever it is their curfew and so they'd call it like 11 30 and hear like their kid was drunk so their son or daughter would be like ah well we've been drinking and so i don't really want to come home right now and then some of the parents would be like you've been drinking you get your ass home right now and

it's like that's an interesting that's very counterintuitive yeah are you sure about that are you sure all right i'll hurry you don't call me a cab or just let me stay here for the night you can yell at me tomorrow but yeah that was weird i saw that multiple times from different people and it was i always was thinking even at that age like 16 17 like what the fuck are they thinking like they were kids once they know that their kid is not sober enough to be driving but yeah anyway yeah i think it is a good idea for there to be at least one house that you can drink at in high school just so you kind of have a home base and you're not doing it in the middle of the woods yeah there was there was no shortage of those, honestly.

It seemed like there were like six or eight different houses that you could go to where that was going to be fair game. I remember going to a party and the dad, who I know him now as an adult, he's also a friend of my dad or at least an acquaintance. I was looking through the cooler at the different kinds of beer, trying to pick to pick one and uh he's like oh we just put them in there like this is the dad he's like ah we just put them in that cooler no i don't get them come over here this one here and he opens up like another cooler it's like one of those big like fishing coolers it's like

300 he's like here's how you get them extra cold you stick it down in there and you twist and he's like show me this technique for like wetting the bottle and spinning it in the eyes to like get them extra cold or something like that so like he had no problem with kids drinking at his house i tried to buy a cooler today like are you guys familiar with these yeti coolers i've heard of them yeah so i'm like all right i'm gonna get a good cooler i've had had Coleman shitty coolers for a while. The worst ones with that, like, I don't know. They're shaped like a house, and the top slides over. They don't seal well. And I'm like, I'm going to get myself a quality cooler, and that will be nice.

And I'm, like, flying every weekend now and stuff, so it will be nice to have a really. $250 for a cooler? Yeah. Dude. Yeah, you picked an expensive brand. See, that's a fishing cooler. The guys who use that

are putting fish on ice and leaving them out there for two days or something like that. That cooler will keep your beer cold on ice. Not just today. It'll be cold tomorrow

and on ice. But that was like my point. So I'm going camping. Tomorrow morning I leave and I come home Sunday, right? So I want my food to stay good through the whole weekend. And morning I leave and I come home Sunday, right? So I want my food to stay good through the whole weekend.

And when I use a regular cooler, you just got to be careful because you're shifting from on ice to in cold water during the weekend. And not everything – like your packaged stuff is okay, but your bananas are going to be soggy and it will ruin them. So I'm like, all right, I'm going to get a proper Yeti cooler. But at $250, like – Yeah, I'd rather get a proper, like, Yeti cooler. But at $250? Like... Yeah, I'd rather have a little bit of a soggy banana. These are the purchasing decisions that are keeping you poor, people. Like, if you have a $250 cooler, no wonder you're not saving money. I don't have a $250...

I'm gonna whip out the old Coleman from 10 years ago. And I'll be fucking fine. Ah, you're making a big mistake. It is a fine cooler. I'm sure it is! I wouldn't buy it either. And every time I see it, I'm making a big mistake. It is a fine cooler. I'm sure it is. I wouldn't buy it either and every time I see it, I'm like, fuck that.

That's just too much. Because think about it this way, Woody. You could get an AC adapter and put a refrigerator in your truck for that much. Dude, I could buy a pop-up camper for $750 more. Like, you know,

the $250 cooler is just a wild spending decision. I called my wife. I'm like, honey, I came here to buy a Yet spending decision. I called my wife. I'm like, honey, I came here to buy a Yeti cooler. I thought to myself, you know what? I've worked hard. I've saved some money. I'm going to get a Yeti cooler.

I don't care if it's $75. I'm worth it. I'm like, $250? What the fuck? Like, what the fuck? It was this big. I'm worth it. I'm like, 250? What the fuck? Like, what the fuck? It was this big. It was like, and I called, and she's like, how often are you going to be using it?

I'm like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know, but unless we move all of our food immediately from the fridge to this thing, we're not going to make for it pay for himself. It's just going to be a hole in our pocket. I feel like I could buy a mini fridge and a generator for that much money. It is a lot of – $250 for a cooler. I don't get it. I don't get it at all.

Why not buy a shitty cooler and just have a lot of ice on hand? Yeah. I don't know very much about them, but it's definitely an outdoorsman's cooler. And specifically, it's fishermen that I've always seen that love this thing. And like I said, I think the deal is that this will keep your fish cool and on ice for the whole weekend. This is the top-of-the-line cooler. I don't have any need for such a thing.

When I need a cooler, oftentimes I will get that Styrofoam $5 cooler at the gas station and throw a 12-pack and a bag of ice in there. And that's just a day's cooler. I just don't use coolers that much. I'm thinking about it. Hitch? Oh, yeah. I'm from the south of North Carolina,

and there's a ton of people that are really big into hunting, really big into fishing, really big into drinking beer and talking about country music. And it's like a staple. You're not the most redneck you could possibly be until you have a yeti cooler so you gotta have your car heart gotta get your uh your what is it uh what are the truck balls is it johnson boots no it's not it's um what are those boots they always wear it's not timberland it's not wolverine it's not justin

it's justin boots okay just okay hard pants car heart jacket gotta have that that uh that cooler yeah like so many people have like the the bed in the back of their truck has the toolbox and then their yeti cooler right under the toolbox it's like it's become the new the new thing i don't know what to think of that because i definitely love this there's this concept to buy it for life right you know or you guys are not maybe not hitch but people have heard me say like buy it nice or buy it twice right that's the thing and uh it's like you get this man you gotta really need a cooler you gotta really really need a cooler for it to be worth 250 dollars if you're a fisherman you're using it constantly it you know but yeah yeah if you're a fisherman it makes a lot of sense i have been through the250. If you're a fisherman, you're using it constantly.

Yeah, if you're a fisherman, it makes a lot of sense. I have been through the exact same thing you're talking about here where I'm like, you know what, I'm going to go get a good one. I'm going to go get the good one. And I do this a lot. And sometimes I'll just buy something really frivolous and expensive because it's like, you know what, I have a nice fucking pocket knife now and I will always have it. But with that cooler, i i look at them

i'll go in the coleman store sometimes and i think they might have yeti coolers at the coleman store that doesn't make much sense but i i just remember seeing those oh maybe it's um fast pro shop they have them and and just seeing those prices because the one you're talking about isn't even the best one like they have big expensive ones yeah oh yeah you got the you got like the medium yeti cooler it sounds like you said 250 and i was like uh it was like 500 i did see bigger ones they didn't have prices on them uh the 250 is the size i wanted if you have to ask you can't afford it dude there's a website called this is why i'm broke.com and uh i feel like the yeti coolers belong on there like like what are you doing what is it i'm broke.com

yeah it's just a bunch of cool shit that you wish you had and i i don't know. I'm sure Yeti fits in somebody's lifestyle and it's important. But fuck. Oh, you know what I want? And Yeti makes one. I've been thinking about upgrading my Nalgene bottle. I've had the same Nalgene bottle for about a decade now, and I'm really happy with it. But this summer, like, if you leave it in your car, the water gets hot.

Like, it's legit, like, from a teapot almost, it seems. Also, I'm pretty sure that there's chemicals seeping out of that plastic into your water and giving you cancer. I think Nalgene, like, one of the things that makes Nalgene special is that it doesn't do that. Ah, no cancer water for me. Yeah, no cancer water. Yeah, yeah. No, there's just bottles. That's where you get the cancer. now gene special is that it doesn't do that ah no cancer water for yeah no cancer water yeah yeah

but um bottles yeah that's where you get the cancer something that keeps your water cool might be like i might be willing to invest like 20 in something like that i mean that one is so expensive that you could go get yourself two coleman coolers and just have one of them full of your extra ice that you switch over to your other one when it when the ice melts and you know just pop that drain let the water out and put your extra ice in there they're just too expensive i agree with you oh the only way i would buy that thing is if i was going fishing twice a month every month no matter what with friends all weekend and i'm not let me tell everyone everyone a little bit about Blue Apron though because it's time.

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on it is going the extra mile get fucking Blue Apron and see what it's all about yes agreed yeah speaking of crazy purchase decisions I've been thinking about an RV. It appears that my lifestyle now includes going to grass strip airfields on the weekends and trying to get up at dawn. And it would be so nice to be able to stay in an RV overnight and then be there as the sun rose easily.

But that doesn't make much sense either. It seems like even a cheap RV is $10,000. So you could get like six coolers for that. You could get like a thousand hotel rooms for that. Like at a hundred dollars a night, like there's no break even. It just doesn't seem to ever make sense. Plus you got to tow a fucking rv around or driving around or whatever like yeah that's not the that's not the answer for you so that's a shame

yeah it's it's just not um i've always fantasized about having an rv and going on these long road trips but the thing is i would be the one driving it you know like i picture myself going on this rv experience where like oh yeah we we hit 38 states and made a big loop or whatever dude if we did it'd be much more comfortable for me to sleep oh fuck off suck two dicks but i know i'd have to fucking uh drive the whole goddamn way you know because there's nobody that i know who i'm gonna turn my art the wheel of my rv over to you know it's a big vehicle and i think i'm a very good driver and I don't know many people who are. And I just

wouldn't do it. I couldn't sleep in the back in a bed knowing that Jeremy is up front like, oh! He's getting new teeth, by the way. Little Jeremy. Really? He's getting every single tooth pulled. Every single one. Not leaving one behind.

No one's getting left behind. I need to talk to him. I haven't spoken to him about this. I've only heard about it from a friend of his and mine. Getting them all pulled out. I think he's getting dentures at first because a full set of implants is like $50,000 or something. $30,000

if you get their wood. And $12,000 if you go to Mexico. That's pretty much the price scale with fake teeth. But I'm looking forward to it. I hope I can get a hold of him before this procedure happens. Because I want the teeth. Okay? I want them.

I want his whole set of chompers. And I won't touch them or anything. But I want to display them to you guys. Because I think if the fans ever saw what his teeth look like they would like I think I don't read any comments ever but but I would imagine there are people who think I'm too hard on Jeremy or I'm cruel to him or mean about his like bad rotten teeth but if you ever saw him you'd be like oh well I see the clown from it he had things living in his mouth for the last generation it seems because they're green and black and brown

and and colors that happen like how did they get green and black and brown i don't understand that so um he he claims and based on nothing but just his own reasoning that it's because he drank lots of red bull the truth is i think that there are people who are who have soft teeth the enamel is very soft and it can be corroded away by sodas and poor treatment. And I think that he corroded off all the enamel off of his teeth early in life with sugar, soda, and not brushing, and lots of chewing tobacco. And so they started degrading away, chipping away.

And so his front teeth here, that are supposed to be basically flat rectangles for the most part, look like car keys in that they've got this serrated edge on all three of the exposed edges of the teeth. One edge is obviously in your gums, and then there's a side to the tooth, and there's a bottom of every tooth in the front that are the the you know the rectangular ones the the incisors and stuff um it's like a car key because of the corrosion and the erosion around them they don't fit together anymore and the ones in the back are all shattered and broken and so it was just like yeah it's really sad he didn't seem to mind i'm sure he does that's something that people would really mind about married now you know he's married now but he even married up right like she's pretty so so he's married and uh his second kid is is on the way and uh she so so he's got three little

ones at home now um so hopefully getting the new teeth will give him a leg up in life because man they were just bad for a long time and we would kind of make suggestions because all he would have ever had to have said to me or kitty or any of us would be like hey man i got to get new teeth could you help me and we'd have co-signed with him or like help him like you know loan him the money to get started or whatever was necessary but i think now he's going to get some new chompers and i'm happy about it i can't wait to see them. Yeah, that's really shitty. Maybe a five. I feel bad. You know. Yeah.

Yeah, that. Yeah, it is. I remember one time, this is pretty mean. Jeremy, if this gets back to you, I'm sorry, buddy. I love you, but it's fun to tease people on our little show here,

and nobody here knows you. But I remember one time, they were telling me that he just had met this chick and kind of hooked up with her. Like, first night, they've known each other, and they're over there

just really making out. He's the, he's just really exploring her mouth with his tongue going to work on her over there and then that all wraps up and then a third individual asks the girl you know how you like jeremy yeah he's okay he's a nice guy yeah i just met him he's a good guy he's like um how can you do that though she's like what how can you kiss him with his teeth you know the way they are and she goes what way are they and he goes well look and she looks and right about that time he like laughs and he goes and she just goes pale just pale as a ghost because she saw what she'd had her mouth inside of for like the last 15 minutes you know tongues

moving around in there it's a real fucking hit I was like dude go back a few seconds and watch Hitch I was very into it you would much rather and I mean it I would much rather I've said it before I'll say it again be bitten by a dog

a dog than this man. Because I know the dog is going to bite me, and they got a very specific shot they're going to give me for that. Oh, you got bit by a dog? Well, let's give you this. We're going to watch out for tetanus, maybe a staph infection, whatever dogs could give you. Rabies.

Yeah, well, probably not. This is like some guy's dog he's walking. But, you know, maybe if a rabid raccoon gets you. We know how to treat pretty much everything a dog will give you. I guarantee you there are things living in that man's mouth that medical science doesn't have shit on. Penicillin would be bitched out by what's

living in the air. The CDC is going to want to keep those teeth. Yeah, there could be undiscovered medicines growing on the teeth. Undiscovered poisons. I mean, penicillin is mold. He'll grind his teeth down and just blow them into Vladimir Putin's face. And his skin will just peel off and he'll age 30 years instantly. They send powdered Jeremy teeth to people in the mail in assassination attempts.

Dude, have you guys watched the politics news lately? It got kind of interesting so it seems that maybe hillary's been wearing an earbud uh yeah i saw that did you think that's interesting yeah i i saw a little piece of plastic in her ear you know i i mean you look in my ear you won't there's nothing in there um you won't be confused by anything that might be in there because it's just not but there's something in her fucking ear. Now, she's old. I've seen old people who have a wad of cotton balls stuck in their ear

because their ears drain. Maybe she's got old ear drainage. I don't know. But I think it's more likely that Debbie Wasserman Schultz or some other cunt is on the other line back there. I don't know what to say. Like one of those televangelist preachers ripping people off. I looked in her ear and I watched the video.

I saw a couple different videos actually, at least two minutes worth of footage. And I couldn't make out that there was anything there. Now, they described it as a white pearl in her ear. And I looked at it and sometimes the inside of an ear, just this part here that I'm touching, it can be shiny, right? There's an oil or a sweat or whatever.

And to me, that's what I saw. I saw light hitting, you know, the, is it called the inner ear? Yeah, right before the opening. And I'm like, I wouldn't put it past him. I mean, George Bush had that thing. He had that earpiece and what during the debates. Starting Secret Service, though, they were credible threats. that thing he had that earpiece and and what during the debates starting secret service though they were credible threats he was he was he was running the country while he was winning those

debates you know i don't that that's what that's what was going on with george w but but w was an idiot who needed help in the debates and i believe they were feeding him answers and he undoubtedly had a wire going you could see it coming up it wasn't like a pearl in her ear like Hillary. This is, I guess, old school tech. The wire came out of his shirt collar. And when he put his shoulders forward like this, you could see a big box like you might have in your lavalier mic just below his neck between his shoulder blades.

It was undeniable. Well, look, I don't think anyone here thinks it's a bad idea to put an extra voice in George W. Bush's head. Okay? Like, you can't go wrong with that. That's got to be an improvement starting with. But I think Hillary has got something in her ear. And if that's not an earpiece, someone needs to pop it because it's disgusting. I don't know.

Yeah, if that's not an earpiece, it's some kind of pustule. You ever get a plaque in your ear? You need to watch the video because that's not what it looked it's disgusting. I don't know. Yeah, if that's not an earpiece, it's some kind of pustule. You ever get a blackhead in your ear? You need to watch the video because that's not what it looked like to me when I watched the moving video. A video is harder to fake than a still image. You got a blackhead? It didn't look like that. Yeah, I've had that.

It's awful. So it's like, so just to be clear, like, it's a blackhead, like, in that part of your ear the part of your ear that's based against your head like it's not like it's out here and i can like pop the uh that it's in the ear like i've had two right things in this family one is like you're describing and it wasn't a blackhead i don't think i think it was a whitehead and it's like oh there's something painful here and then upon pressing it it bursts yeah so so mine doesn't does it did yours burst like liquid okay so that's not what i'm talking about i'm

talking about blackhead so so that it's it's what they had to use a tool in my ear this this very hot dermatologist i was like 13 she uses this tool and she sticks it in my ear not like in the hole or anything but you know in the the surface of my my ear that's against my head and she has to push it's like a a loop that goes around the blackhead and applies pressure everywhere but where the blackhead is and she is pressing as hard as she can her hands are shaking and i'm thinking like she's just gonna punch through into my goddamn skull like like i don't know how tough that part of my flesh is and then it pops and i can hear it kind of like make this crunch noise and these huge blackheads she was popping out of my ears now the other thing there's like three of them and i cried and she said now keep your ears clean and this won't happen again and so like the other thing that i've had is like

on the ear lobe this little part in the bottom. That's the other one. You can get like a ball of infection in there. Like it feels like a ball. Just sort of behind it-ish, right? No. Now, that's different. Now, if you get it behind it, that's an inner ear infection that's causing that. If you get it back here, that's what's there. You're feeling a ball of inflammation and infection that's inside your ear canal that's

causing that. What I'm talking about is inside this little bit of flesh here that hangs at the bottom of your ear, inside of it, when I would squeeze it, I would feel a hard BB-like substance in there. And you kind of roll it around between the teeth. I've had that. And one day, it starts getting bigger and bigger and more and more inflamed and painful to the point where my ear, if look closely is larger in that area and i was just like this thing has to be popped so i got a big fucking needle and i i put a little ice on my ear like let it get numb and i start slowly inserting this needle into my ear and at first it doesn't want to go but i'd never like stabbed myself before but then it pierces the flesh, and it's like a pop.

And it's in and incredibly painful. And so much pus came out of my ear. And blood. It bled forever. Like, ear wounds bleed forever. It was disgusting. So much pus and blood. This is disgusting.

Yeah, no, I just have... It feels like... In this part of my ear, right and where the earlobe connects maybe i need to take special attention to make it clean because every so often i don't know every couple of months or something i'll get a pimple in this like pocket back yeah sometimes you get them in places that aren't easily popped like you can't just get some flesh together this is the easiest space to pop on my whole body. I feel like I can reach almost behind it and pull it forward. I had a pimple or whatever you want to call it right here on my neck one time.

Right there kind of by my Adam's apple. And I was 19 and I don't know. It just got out of hand. It kept getting bigger and bigger and I tried to pop it I don't know. It just got out of hand. It kept getting bigger and bigger, and I tried to pop it, but nothing would happen. It would just rough up the skin, and it would get a scab. It would get further infected. And I remember when it finally popped. There was green projectile puddle.

I'm talking about this thing made a crunch. There were crunching noises, popping noises noises and i watched the pus fly to the mirror and it was green when i finally using both hands and like four fingers popped this motherfucker it was gross uh that's the worst i've ever had and i still remember it i was 19 or 20 one or the other uh if you want to see a lot of stuff like that if you're into popping there is of course a subreddit r popping uh you can go on there and you'll find people like popping all kinds of things all kinds of boils and ingrown hairs and pimples and blackheads blackheads that that like they just keep wringing them out over and over squeezing until like six or eight inches of pus has come

out and made this loop de loop-loop coming out of the face. You know, you'll see like black, they'll get in their belly button and like scoop out blackhead type material out of their belly button. When I was in high school, I used to get pimples on my back and they'd get big fast. Like within 20 minutes, it'd be the size of a marble almost, right? Like under the skin, a marble, or maybe even the shooter marble, the bigger ones. The Aggie. I'm not sure why.

I think it might have been related to this weird bromine pool that I was on the swim team. And then they got just a reaction I had. But what was weird is it would go, and in like 20 minutes, I'd have a giant pimple. I could reach back and pop it, and it didn't hurt very much. This part of your skin is not that sensitive. I'd just squeeze it, and then I'd feel it burst. Oh, my God. This is grossing me out so much.

It would pop. I know that if someone was behind me, I could have shot them or something. Yeah, and it would pop. And then, like 10 minutes after it's popped, gone. And this girl was like, ooh, you've got that giant pimple on your back And I'm like I know like sometimes I get him in like 20 minutes, but watch my pop it and she's like that's gross I'm like I know it is but it's gonna be gone in five minutes five minutes later. She's like Yeah, like there's no sign of it. You know you don't normally when you pop a pimple

Yeah. Like there's no sign of it. You know, normally when you pop a pimple, like it's almost a bad idea. Like it can take longer for it to heal because you popped it. Did you ever have those people in your high school? Like, you know how they say like, don't pop your pimples because it's not good and it'll just spread the bacteria or whatever. Did you have people in your high school that had like gross, like whiteheads and giant pimples on their face?

Sure. And like, it was just like, fucking go to the bathroom and pop that. Like, you're already in too deep. Like, what do you think is going to happen? If you pop it, are you going to get a really gross zit? Because you're already there. Can I do my tutorial first, Kyle? Because it's really fast.

Mine is yours. Go right ahead. All right. So, oh, yours is mine? It's the same thing? Well, yours doesn't cover all skin types and acne types because you had a very specific kind of acne, and I have a much scarier, oily skin kind of sebaceous gland acne

that makes these hard, ingrown hairs that you have to pop and weasel back out of you. And then I use this whole treatment with alcohol and Neosporin to make everything right. But I think you use a hot washcloth to scrub off the tops of the whiteheads, and I don't get whiteheads. Yeah, so if I have a whitehead, one that would be nearly ready to pop,

take a hot washcloth, a clean hot washcloth, put hot water on it with no cold mixed in, as hot as you can stand it, and then wipe it off, and all the tops of the whiteheads will be gone. And it's just, it'll be ready to heal. You'll look 100% better in no time at all. All the whiteheads are gone.

And by tomorrow, you'll be three levels better than you were before. But I don't think you get blackheads when you've got a solid piece of pus stuck in your skin. That has to be like squeezed out and you know like removed from the pore like it's it's solid stuff clogging your pore up that you just have to get out of there and it's not liquid and it doesn't like it's it's not even like those whiteheads that slowly like create this little like like like thing of pus coming out like there'll be like a knot in there that has to be gotten out of course nothing like that video we watched way back when when the guy had the one on his back and it was so gross

that the woman popping it was wearing double rubber gloves and doing it outdoors that's how dirty it was she's like i ain't even doing this shit in the office let's go out back and she's like squeezing this big fucking thing he's got on his back and i mean i'm not talking about you know like an amount of pus equal to like a dime i'm talking about she squeezed out three or four ounces of pus like enough like like three or four shot glass of our energy at least more than that no more than that like like legitimate like enough to fill up a red bull like she squeezed out she she kept like a lot like doing this number with with the flesh on his back with both hands.

Normally when you pop a pimple, you're getting two fingers and trying to pop it. She's using all ten of her fingers and hands like she's kneading a loaf of bread dough. I googled that kind of cyst and became a temporary expert on it. Apparently,

as you said, they're like that. His wasn't unique. Other people get them too. They smell terribly when expert on it. Apparently, as you said, they're like that. His wasn't unique. Other people get them too. They smell terribly when you pop it. They were vomiting. Yeah. So the whole room, I don't know if they're outside of the whole room or whatever,

but anyway, everyone nearby was just taken over by the odor from it. And if you don't get it all, if you don't get it all, it's likely to come back, which is why she was so diligent about getting every ounce remember when i would rather watch a beheading than watch it was disgusting whenever they lanced wings boil i believe i remember him saying like how smelly it was and i think maybe in the video like the nurses or whatever or they're in there like oh all right and they open the door if i remember remember correctly, like to allow ventilation.

And I think with his thing, in a lot of like situations like that where they're not sure if they got it all, they like put a wick in there so that the infection sort of wicks out of the wound. And then afterwards they come back, pull the wick out, irrigate the wound. Like they gotta be real sure

that you're not gonna get septic, I guess, after this pimple popping. Yeah, Wings, I I think is prone to that because he has folds in his front and that can be hard to clean. Can we please never talk about that and stop it right now. This grosses

me out so much more than any video of a guy vomiting on someone else or of someone getting beheaded or like fingers chopped off or getting caught caught in a grinder. Now, let's talk about pictures of a guy. Now, let's talk about an abscessed tooth. See, that is the pimple of the mouth. All right?

So, what you got then is beneath your molar, you can have this cavity that fills with an infection, and it produces more and more pus, more and more, until it's putting pressure on the nerve, and the tooth, and everything else, and you get this awful tooth more, until it's putting pressure on the nerve and the tooth and everything else. And you get this awful toothache, and there's only one thing to do. You get back there, and you push against the gum, the gum that the tooth is flowing through, and you pop it.

And your mouth is instantly full of a little cum load of pus. And it tastes like that, too, I would imagine. I've never had one but i've known people who had them and instead of going to the dentist they just popped them about once a week and we're just like spitting spitting my um animal i went to the dentist to get my teeth lightened like a month ago or three weeks ago something like that and she was telling me about abscess teeth like that and uh she was one of those crazy people that likes popping it like like when someone comes in with one of those

infections that needs to get all the pus out it's like she's like fuck yes yeah it's it's her thing totally a female thing it is a weird thing it seems like every girl I've met likes popping stuff. Like they like getting over there and popping the zit or something. I don't know. Sorry to interrupt. It's just like a weird little thing I've noticed. It's funny when you say stuff like that and then I'm in the same position. Everyone's like, oh, I just learned something about his girlfriend.

Right? Because everyone knows. I feel like. No, I took Accutane. I don't get zits. I don't get anything that you can pop anymore, and I haven't for... Like, if I get a zit,

like, I felt earlier this week a tiny little bump forming here, and I was almost like, what the fuck? Like, what's happening to me? What are you doing here? Nothing ever came of it? I was trying to find out a long time ago. Yeah.

Don't you know you're not welcome around here? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay. I're not welcome around here. Yeah. I just don't get anything. I misread that. But it's funny. If I were to, for example, talk about a sex thing, everyone knows. There's not a whole host of people to be talking about. It's like, oh yeah,

Jackie does that. That's the way it goes. I would get my mom to pop them when I was a kid the ones on my back because i just can't get back there and uh and and she would pop the ones on my back always felt good too like it's it's a very like if you've got a big one that's like inflamed uh you want that thing popped you you want somebody to pop it and then rub it with rubbing alcohol it feels all cool all of a sudden, the pain's gone. Back acne is disgusting.

Back knee, as it's known in the acne treatment circles. Skin care addiction for anyone out there who's really struggling with this sort of thing is another good subreddit. Those people will give you advice based exactly on your skin type and any other concerns you might have if you have acne. They're real experts and you see see them it's it's almost inspiring like because you know like on one hand you don't want to be too vain or whatever but on the other hand like if someone has like bad acne and cysts all over their face and the scarring is setting in and they don't fix it in a week like it's like three months of like

diligent good skin care and you're like whoa like that person really changed their usually facial skin for the better and uh and it's almost as inspiring as like the weight loss you know people who lose like 200 pounds and you're like wow like she's hot now um it the skin care addiction guys go through a similar positive transformation oh man see so the worst um i only oh god i don't even like looking at these google images i'm not going to look at them i'm just going to give them to you guys the worst is when it's when it's unnatural acne caused by like peds you know if someone's doing steroids you get you're going to get a lot of back knee and some of these bodybuilders get chest acne and back acne the likes of which you would never find in the natural kingdom without sticking some Deanna ball in your ass first.

So there's that. Oh, speaking of your ass, anyone out there who gets bumps on your butt, I figured out how to fix that about two years ago. That's one that always bothered me because you can't pop those. The skin's just not right for it back there. always bother me because you can't pop those the skin's just not not right for it back there you're gonna want one of those like loofah things those floofy things that ladies use to wash up and you're just you're just gonna put some some salicylic acid uh acne medication on that every single day and scrub the shit out of your butt you scrub your butt real good and you never never happen again you know an actual tip this has nothing to do with popping but if you have dry

lip skin i guess i learned this from accutane uh because that introduces a whole new host of problems uh replacing all of acne though so didn't have to deal with acne at all but take a wash rag get it nice and wet with warm water and then gently rub your lips and it will take off all of the dead skin on your lips and make it way more comfortable and make your lips look better too. Make them feel better. You don't feel like flaky or crispy or anything. So I don't know if that's a problem anybody has but that's what it takes. It's very similar

to my whitehead tip. Yeah, it works. I use a lot of chapstick because my lips get chapped. It's a real ordeal. Yep. When we were talking about Taco Bell like two hours ago, I was hungry.

I was hungry. I was so hungry. And now I want to pee. I keep looking at my trash can right there like you're going to get it. Into that trash can. Yeah, that's not just you. This is the grossest thing for me that we've ever talked about on this show.

It's disgusting. Hearing all your little tips and the septic holes of pus. Yeah, I've been dealing with acne my whole life. Yeah, you gotta fight it off. It's rough stuff. What's it like living in the Opticals? There's what, eight guys you said? I mean, do you guys like hang out and watch TVs

and movies together or you just kind of... Yeah, we all hang out. It's a very working environment, especially during the day. People are collabing with each other doing videos. People are doing videos with other people outside of the house, outside of Optic, inside of Optic. Usually at night, I live with a bunch of competitive players. At night, usually it's a huge scrim session. Everybody's trying to get solid practice in.

And so we usually do YouTube videos during the day, scrims at night, and then after scrims are over, that's when we all usually hang out, kick it. When are people going to bed in the Optic House? Like 3 in the morning? Yeah, I think usually at like 2 a.m all of us are still up except for one person he usually goes to bed pretty early will uh but for the most part yeah yeah yeah will goes to bed at like 11 um but everybody else goes to bed usually

like like anywhere from two to four so is there an unspoken pecking order in the Optic House? Maybe Will near the top or Scumpy or something and then some other guy who gets 5,000 views a video is just lucky to be hanging on? Yeah. For the most part, this is definitely like a...

I don't know if it's necessarily how many views the person gets. It's how long they've been in Optic. Like Will's been in Optic for like six years or something crazy. So he's living in the master bedroom. And then Seth obviously is really – he's been on the team forever, nearly just as long. And he's living in like the theater room. So then everybody else just – there's kind of like a hierarchy.

Nadeshot left the nest. Behind closed doors is everyone like, ah, that 100th fever. I don't know. I mean, I didn't really, when I moved in, he was on this unspoken transition out. So I didn't really get to really know him that well. I mean, there's people in the house that don't talk to him anymore.

And there's people in the house that talk to him almost every day. So it's kind of like a new thing. Don't talk to him out of frustration or paths just don't cross? Paths just don't cross, I think. I don't know. I don't really dive that much into it because I was never really good friends with them, but

obviously people have different relationships with different people. Do you guys share one internet line? No, we probably have like eight business lines six six to seven or something yeah your guys internet bill is probably bananas yeah everybody uh i think i can say this everybody pays for their own internet so uh you know there's there's things that are taken care of by optic and by sponsors but but we all

pay for our own internet so you would think you could get some sort of a group discount with that many lines like lately look let's start let's start from the beginning i'm gonna need eight fucking business lines all right let's talk turkey can we get a little bit knocked off each one yeah like what's your up and down? I don't even know. It's not insane. It's not amazing. Does everything crumble to the ground if the internet goes out? Yes. We've actually lost power

twice in the last nine months being here. We just literally go sit down on the floor in the living room and just what do we do now? We can't work. I don't know what to do with my hands.

Yeah. It's hour three. You got to get UPSs. In my house, I have uninterruptible power supply, uninterruptible power supplies. And you'd be surprised. Like the power will go out to the whole neighborhood. But the internet still works if you can keep your cable modem powered and your routers powered and stuff like that.

So, like, for me anyway, like, the computer tends to burn through this little battery I have on it in, like, 20 minutes. But it's nice because there are a lot of times where 20 minutes gets you through. Yeah, that's – most of our power outages are exactly like that. Sometimes it's a fraction of a second. Sometimes it's like, oh, power's on. Oh, all right. That just reset everything we were doing, but we're back to business.

But sometimes it went out for five or six days one time. That's the worst it's ever been. That was terrible. Yeah. But, yeah, if it's seconds or minutes, I get to just flow through and not have that bother me, and that's the common case. You know what I'm thinking

about investing in is those goddamn, and it's not really an investment really, but those they go between the wall and the device, and you can turn them off from anywhere in the house, because I feel like I'm getting lights left on the left. The clapper. Not the clapper.

I want an app. Like I have a house full of items that need to be turned on. Because Kitty will come downstairs some days and turn on literally 14 lights. And I'll come down at like 10 o'clock at night to do my like security check through the house. Make sure the doors are locked and power everything down. I'm like, Jesus, my fingers are going to get raw just turning these lights off, because there's 14 bulbs. That's how many were on last night when I came downstairs, and it's every night. She leaves on at least 14. I used to have stuff like that.

Now, I think my experience won't reflect yours, but back in the day, they had these things called X10. There were pop-up ads for them everywhere, and they were home automation software. And I took something that someone else wrote and customized it for my own house, and just like you said, the hallway, I think it was real simple. I had it turn off every hour.

So sometimes it'd mess you up, because you turn it on and 60 seconds later it turns it off, because it was on the hour. But most of the time it just sort of saved it. Like it was catching lights that people had left on. But the problem was the switches themselves were such garbage. Like the things would pop off and they were mushy instead of like snapping and everyone hated them. So the device I'm talking about plugs into the wall into your socket and then the you know the device plugs into it it's it's an in it's it's

between the two and it's uh you know you've got like app control mine would also have app control but it would replace the switch or replace the socket with one that was smart and um it's probably a better looking solution than when then like you know a one that goes in between um it's probably a better looking solution than then like you know a one that goes in between but it was just kind of cheap hardware i didn't like it i just wish they would turn off the goddamn lights are you getting led lights baby um yeah well these are led lights the whole basement is leds now light like recessed led lights now but um she's in her like work area she's got tons of studio lighting because she does her own photography for labels and stuff.

So she'll have... I've only got two studio lights on me now. She'll have five locked in and focused into these light boxes where she photographs stuff. So there are no shadows existing in that realm. It's a land where she's banned shadows to do her pictures.

And so she'll have so much studio lighting and then she's got a little like what kind of lights are they do they get hot um so no they're cold lights um oh actually some of them do so we've got two different kinds of studio lights one is like the standard umbrella thing and then the others are these like box lights that are like uh on the inside it's like aluminum foil like reflective type stuff except for one except for the front which is you know that white stuff and you know there's three bulbs inside with lots of settings she uses those i don't know how many we have we we just keep buying more and more i don't know why we have so much lighting here my studio lights are so hot like they're bright like the sun so sometimes it's too much to deal with.

You don't want to light your subject that much, but my lights are bright, and they're hot. If you touched them for even a second, you'd burn your finger like a frying pan. I don't use them much. Yeah. When we say hot, from touch uh those in there do get hot these don't but actual studio lighting like when we were filming stuff like when they're actually putting those big lights on you that really is hot i i used to think that that was just i didn't know they meant that that being under those lights was literally hot i thought it was

a figure of speech that oh yeah there's a lot of pressure, a lot of pressure under the studio lights. Like, no, no, no. They're hitting you with like a heat ray constantly from every direction. And the heat ray is six feet away from you. It's not like they're across the room shining a light on you.

They're like right under you with this big beam of like a million candle power under your chin. Yeah, my upper lip, like I have to keep worrying about upper lip sweat. Yeah, the studio lights. I'm not a fan. But they make you look better. No more bags under your eyes.

And, you know, they illuminate you properly. How far are we into the show? I only asked because I got kicked out or my internet dropped out earlier. Four hours, five minutes. Well, that sounds like a good show to me. Sounds like a good one. Alright then. PKA episode

299. Hitch, where do they find your stuff? YouTube slash Hitcheride with two I's or just Optic Hitch on Twitter. Alright. And check out our sponsors. Link in the description. Check out our merchandise.

This really is the softest shirt that I've got. That's why I wear it for this because it's four hours of sitting here. And it's been washed like eight times. And it's like soft, so soft. All right. $2.99.