Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #305

Episode Date: October 28, 2016

This week on PKA, it's been a good while but Drift0r returns to the show and he tells the guys his personal experience of meeting Gary Johnson, battling over the arm wrests while on a plane and disgusting hoarders.

Alright, Painkiller already, episode 305, we're live with Drifter, one of the smaller guys on YouTube. We've got a few sponsors that have been on Painkiller already, good to be back, glad you invited me. Anytime. Kyle? We've got a few sponsors tonight, Squarespace, MeUndies, and JackThreads. I don't know if we've talked about JackThreads yet on the show, they're very cool. You can check the links to all those out in the description down below, we're going to talk more about them later on in the show but yeah let's get right into it and real quick a double check we are recording yes yes we are yes we are you know i don't mind you asking i don't mind that one bit i'm not supposed to be recording anything am i no like if i need to get recording i get obs

and all this stuff going on to kind of catch you up on why I had to ask that, Drifter, last week we did our, I guess, semi-annual drinking episode or whatever every other year is. And we got pretty drunk in the first hour and a half on Kyle's best homemade apple pie moonshine that he sent to us all legally. And then like an hour and a half into the show, Woody types in the chat oh i've got

a horrible problem i forgot to record and so we had just been drunk talking to each other for almost for an hour and a half to no one and that's almost embarrassing when you sit back and think about it like all the stupid stories and jokes i was telling to no one for no one to hear there is a legit honest disagreement but not anger but like about whether those 90 minutes were good i in my heart of hearts feel like they sucked oh you were drunk you don't know you're a fucking drunk you're onto something you're not wrong on that but but here's the thing and it it started off with like unwrapping the the kyle's best you saw me take a knife out and remove the label.

We talked about the breathalyzers. We use these breathalyzers to measure how drunk we were all show, which didn't work. And there's one, yeah, I've got mine around here too. What's your percent alcohol? Or is it just like, I don't know, just a lot. I'm gonna circle back to that. So you called us like unwrapping things.

And then we took our first couple of drinks for 90 of those minutes, like 40 of them weren't even drunk because we were just starting. I disagree. I felt like I was getting intoxicated. And then we had this whole discussion like do you absorb alcohol sublingually as you're drinking, as you're imbibing the beverage? Am I getting a little in my bloodstream just from putting it in my mouth and swallowing it? Or does it have to go into my stomach and be metabolized and then slowly sponge into my system? Is that how it works?

I don't know. But as soon as I took a sip, I was like, I feel a slight buzz. I'm instantly a little intoxicated. I definitely am. And so I felt like we were definitely getting into being drunk. But I don't know. I like those 90 minutes. We covered some good topics.

I thought the highlight was actually my story of how I'm retarded, and I think I've told it before, and I'll definitely tell it again. I was crying so hard when you explained to the audience that in elementary school, your teacher thought you were mentally retarded, and

wanted to put you into a short buzz class for real, and it cracked me up so much. And I already drank half this thing. I was crying. My whole face turned red. I had my shirt pulled up, wiping. Funny story, in my elementary school, they

did think that I was mentally delayed. And they did move me into the short bus special classes for a couple of months. It was interesting. There was lots of characters there that really needed to be there for a variety of months. It was interesting. There was lots of characters there that really needed to be there for a variety of reasons. It was a little bit sad. But I bet you were the sharpest knife in that drawer by a lot, right? Yeah, but the least cooperative. I was a really bad kid. I thought reading was lame,

and I refused to learn to read, and they just put me in the special class. But you had kids there that were mentally handicapped. You had some with language difficulties because their parents were immigrants. And then you had some with really bad behavioral problems, like violent outbursts kind of problems. And for some reason, it's just like all the problem kids go in this one class. It's funny. You didn't learn much.

And then Edgar over there, he starts small fires. Keep an eye on him. Just throw all of them in one class. I'm right there with you drifter so i wasn't dumb according to me right but i was a bad kid and i thought bad handwriting was cool like there was another kid in my class i remember his name was billy and i admired how tiny his handwriting was so my handwriting regressed like i had i was just there with all the other kids and then i saw his ridiculously

small handwriting. I was like, I want to be like that. And they're all telling me no, but I thought that I was more clever than everybody else. And it just shrunk and shrunk until I had this awful tiny little handwriting. And yeah, the story, maybe I told it too long, but you have report cards, right? So four times a year you get a report card. And then in between report cards, we would get what was called deficiency reports. And they were kind of just a letter to your parents to let you know if your kid was headed towards a bad report card. So most people didn't get eight times a year, but I did.

I was talking to my mom in high school or something, and she's like, we've never gone even an eighth of a school year without bad news from you. And I countered and said, what about second grade? Mrs. Fields loved me. And she said, Mrs.

Fields thought you were retarded. And my mom had to fight putting me into the short bus class. Yeah. Yeah. Let me ask you, imagine your mom being like Forrest Gump's mom, like making sure that my baby gets in the right class, you know? This is like Xbox.

Suddenly my mom, everyone slept with my mom. She always held my hand when I went to the bathroom. Miss Fields loved me. No one else got to go to the bathroom with the teacher. She came with me every time. I was the only one whose ass she wiped. She really cared about me. You tell me that's not favoritism.

She went the extra mile for Matt Woodworth. I'll tell you that right now. Wiped my mouth at lunch. It was a whole procedure. All right, so you mentioned the handwriting. Didn't you sometime recently do something about your handwriting? Is that wrong? No, that's Howard Stern.

Are you still writing super tiny? I mean, is it like little dots and lines like Morse code? I said that because Howard Stern apparently always had really bad handwriting that embarrassed him. And he, like a few years ago, took a class. And now apparently he has some beautiful handwriting and signature. Because he signs stuff occasionally, I guess. And then there would be a picture of like, oh, look at my one-a-kind howard stern uh signature and it looked like a fucking child did it i guess he just retroactively make all those signed items useless now that he has a really

nice wonderful signature you know it'll be it'll be the classic the pre-2000 whatever howard stern the old school signature you can guarantee that it's from a certain age in an event or whatever. But I feel him on that. I've got scribbles as well. I'll see a picture from PAX. Look at all the YouTubers that signed my Xbox. And somebody will take a screenshot of mine and be like, one of these is not like the others because it's chicken scratch.

So you asked if my handwriting is still too small and I feel like it's normal sized. But I'm really bad at writing big. If there's ever an occasion where like maybe I'm signing a t-shirt or something. Like I'll do the first two letters and they just shrink on down and then

just go away. Now is that because you're running out of space? I've done that a lot. I wish. It's because he can't visualize the images that are to come. He can't picture the whole Woody's Gamamer Tag on the shirt and make all those letters the size that he pictures in his mind's eye. He's just like, W!

Oh, shit, I fucked up. No! Now it's like a W. He puts the W on it. It looks like a Wonder Woman logo right in the middle. He gets woo out there before he knows he has to tape another piece of paper onto the other end. That's not it at all. It's not that

I lack the executive planning, which is what you guys are talking about. It's that I just have this temptation to get back to my comfort zone, which is normal size letters. It's so bad that you literally can't write your own name. You can't say, you see this and you're like,

okay, this is my time. I can write big letters now i have to write i don't know like 10 10 15 characters right i can do this and after two characters you're like no back to the same old thing really am i alone in this am i the only one that drifts towards smaller letters like like in a situation that calls for big ones i can see my pep rally signs. Be like, go team. Yeah. You start off strong. All I've done is shit. Don't get too excited.

Yeah, my handwriting is terrible. Kyle has great handwriting. You were talking about how you came up with the letters. You mimicked that retarded child in school. That's one way of doing it. What I did was on top of the blackboard, it was a marker board. on top of the marker board was like the alphabet, you know, uppercase, lowercase, and I just kind of copied exactly how it looked, you know, so of course it was cursive and flowing and pretty, so now I, you know, I have handwriting like a girl, which I like a lot.

I was going to say that, I wasn't sure how sensitive you were about your feminine handwriting. Sensitive about it at all it's it is feminine handwriting i like it a lot um if i write a nice little note to a lady she always appreciates it you know there's some it looks like fucking don juan himself like uh fucking fucking wrote this shit with some scrimshaw or they think they have a new you know mysterious female suitor yeah maybe so maybe they're into that too i i whatever maybe the man has a calligraphy habit. He's a sensitive man. Who knows? I really want to see Kyle write something because I want to verify his handwriting in person.

There's still a part of me that thinks this whole feminine handwriting thing is a ruse so that he can get one of the women in his life, I don't know, kitty, girlfriend, sister, who knows, to write things on his behalf. Like, oh, yeah, weird thing about me. I've got handwriting like some other person you can see I sign all that shit at like events and stuff so you can see you know there's many examples of me you know very prettily writing whatever the contest like you did a fan will come up to both of you right and you get woody to sign one part Kyle to sign the other and they'll be room comparison you. We'll just do a comparison.

You know, we'll just do... You just put it on Twitter. Make sure that you tag both of these guys so they can retweet it, and we can see how one signature looks and then how the other one looks. It's a lot of effort. I want to have, like, Kyle sign my AK or something.

No, I... And see how, like, how flowy and pretty it is. It'll be very flowy and pretty. I'm really good if it's something that allows me to do, like, the size that I prefer. Of course. Writing tiny letters isn't the same as writing gigantic letters. You're absolutely right.

It's a different arm movement. If I'm using my fingers and a little wrist, I can be very precise with something. But if I suddenly have to make this motion with my entire arm, and now there's like how many axes are going right now, right? My shoulder, my elbow, my wrist, each finger. Like there's all kind of crazy shit going on now. It's hard to be as precise. You know what I'm pretty good at? So I write control the engagement and then dash Woody, right?

Like when I sign t-shirts. And signing t-shirts, probably everyone here has done a bunch of t-shirt signings. But like it moves underneath your hand. It's not like paper. So like you have to almost plan out your letters like sometimes it's like all right this is going to go this way and i'm going to come around and meet the other and i couldn't tell you how i do every letter but when i get when it's time to do it i know every like i know exactly how to write that neatly what you do is

you take your left hand your forefinger and your thumb and the back of your palm and you put it on the shirt and you're chasing yeah you're casing around each letter and you stretch in the direction that you're going to draw uh you know if it's an eye then i'm going top to bottom and i'll start out with that so so it can't move you know if i'm if i'm drawing left to right for like an s or something then i'll you know i'm gonna stretch it that way because i and i i've done i've signed thousands of shirts so like there's times where like i'm like i don't want to ruin this guy's way because i and i've done i've signed thousands of shirts so like there's times where like i'm like i don't want to ruin this guy's fucking shirt right and i i'll second ask people i'll be i'll be like or second guess people like are you sure 110 sure because that

thing you're you know i'll sign their paintball gun sometimes it'll be like a 1800 paintball gun or i'll sign their ar-15 and it's a three thousand dollar ar and i'm like you really want that on there because they're putting nail polish over it right after. Alright, here we go. I'll be real careful. Like, I don't want to look like a Jedi. Has anybody ever taken you up on that and been like, oh my god, you're right. I almost just let you sign this

$5,000 gun. What the fuck was I thinking? This is a blunderbuss from a 16th century pirate ship. He almost ruined it. A YouTuber. My god, thanks for the little injection of reality. It's the fucking opposite, honestly, because sometimes I'll crack a joke about how, like, hey, I don't want to do anything crazy here.

I don't want to embarrass you. He's like, you can do whatever you want. You want to ride on my head? You want to ride on... And his buddy will be like, yeah, bro, sign his fucking head. And I'll be like, all right, here we go. Do you ever feel weird about touching people,

like signing the T-shirts or the head or whatever, and it's like somebody's never had their shirt, so it's like, all right, come sign my shirt. And I've got to do this stretchy thing. And I'm like, where? And they'll be like, right here. And I'm like, well, hold up. I've got to put my hand on you and squeeze pretty tight and sign. And it always feels especially strange when you're touching a really warm person and you can feel their warmth coming in.

And, like, I don't know, sticky and just... I'm a pretty touchy guy. Just like that little bit of humidity in their shirt. Yeah, that's it, right. The humidity, you're just, you're letting it all out when you stretch the shirt out. I'm a touchy person. Like, I don't know.

Like, I see. Way too touchy. Really, it depends on the other guy, you know? But so it doesn't bother me much, but I will say the front in particular. Like if I sign here or something, it's just like, oh, look at this. We're nose to nose now, aren't we? And I'm touching your chest.

Well, yeah. But he's years of Brazilian jiu-jitsu. He's got a very – he's comfort level with other men and being close proximity. It's just on another level. He's just level with other men and being close proximity. It's just just on another level. He's just fine with it I'll be when I'm doing that stuff. I just try to put that on my mind and try to be like Very polite like in a normal situation I just would never touch this human being but shit he came out here paid

$150 or whatever and he bought my t-shirt of course I'm gonna grab his man boob as sweaty as it is and and And so I feel like a minority of people. We're making fun of fans, but to be fair, the really people that you don't want to touch tends to be a minority. Kyle says that's my years of jiu-jitsu that make me happy touching people.

I disagree. I think this ties back to my five languages of love thing, which is a book I bought. I didn't invent this, but there are five ways in which people show and receive love. Are you ready? I hope they can do this. One is physical touch. We've talked about that. Another is gifts, right? It doesn't have to be big things, but just a little token that you were thinking of me when you weren't nearby. Another is words of affirmation. Another is acts of service. And the last one is quality time, right? So I'll go through those again.

Physical touch, gifts, acts of service, quality time. Or sex. again physical touch gifts acts of service quality time uh physical touch i skipped one anyway those are them so you might think like oh how do i like to love people like what comes easily for you you might be a guy who's saying like kind words or words of affirmation you know you look pretty it's really hard like that might be a huge struggle for you or maybe acts of service that one for me is the toughest like really oh my god could there be a bigger pain in the ass you know what i think about those love languages is that that is all a ruse written by someone whose love language is they just want a lot of presents but you can't just walk out into the world and say the way that i experience love is for all of you to spend lots and lots of money on me regularly. That's my love language. It's not about money. You can't let this

foster over here. I need constant gifts. You're making a joke, but this is important. And people who like gifts don't like expensive gifts. It's not about how awesome the shit is. It could be like, hey, I won this in a bubble gum machine and I saw this and it took me three quarters until I finally got the plastic thing. What about how personal the gift is? I think if I'm doing Language of Love, that's probably, I'm more of the gifty person not the touching. I think

the more personal the gift, the better. The more you think about the person, like I said, not spending like a ton of money, but just getting one random little doodad or widget or something that they actually need shows that you put in the time to think about them and their life and what they've got going on and that can be

a very good language. Or actually want, right? To someone like a whatever what the hell I'm not getting this interference I hope other people don't hear it. Yeah, we do. I'm hearing it. I do. Who's it coming from? I think it's Kyle. Oh, it's Kyle. Are you getting text messages on your phone

that you're texting them? No, I certainly wasn't. I was looking for a picture of me and Woody with a fan at the last paintball event because he's a very fat guy and he's wearing a bikini and I'm honking his big sweaty titty. And I just thought that went to show that I... Can you put your phone away from your wires? Oh, you think being near the wires is it? Yeah, no, it can cause interference with microphones and stuff.

Like when the text message signal comes in, the little da-da-da-da-da-da that we're hearing, that's how the message is coded because it yeah no it can cause interference with microphones and stuff like when the text message signal comes in a little bit that we're hearing that's how the message is coded i think that's yeah and you're too popular to have it anywhere near that mic so let's get that way over to the side the only time anyone's asked me to sign fucking anything ever is the first trip i went to with you guys and even then it was just like pity asks would they be like oh i have this paintball thing. It's got Woody's, control the engagement. And then it has FPS Russia. Do you want to sign it? And I would just be like, do you want me to sign it?

Like, you don't know who the fuck I am. You just know. You're like, that guy's friends with these two. Maybe grab his signature. I don't fucking know. I'll Google, I'll YouTube them and be disappointed that I ruined this item later this time. So that whole love languages thing was a setup for this point I'm trying to get out. Which is, for me, the physical touch thing is the easiest love to give, right?

And whether that means wrestling with the sun or like I did – I was thinking to myself like I go up to Jackie and grab her like I'm Donald Trump or something, right? Like just – She lets you do it because you're rich. It's because I'm a star! Is that a cardboard trump in your background, Taylor? Yeah, I couldn't afford the real one. And anyway, so yeah, the way that I love to give and receive is touchy stuff. That's how I'm wired.

I think that's the easiest one, too. You really don't have to pull your wallet out for that one. You can just honk away, a little groping here and there. I think you're really looking at this with a broad man spectrum when you look at the languages of love. You're like, I grope her every day. She knows I love her. She's like, I think that means cuddling with me and spending your time like no no that's quality time that's a different language she would prefer acts of service if she came

downstairs and saw the dishes were done that's that's what she likes uh sadly that i find that's the hardest one to do like oh that is i'm bilingual with the love it's i like intimacy so physical i guess that's one that every single man out there that's going to be their number one thing of love is getting head or doing something physical fucking whatever you want that's going to be number one for most men i think but also um the words of affirmation i like that like i like people being like hey you did like if i finish something and a boss or supervisor someone is like hey you did a good job on that it i like people being like hey you did like if i finish something and a boss or supervisor someone is like hey you did a good job on that it's like it doesn't have to be a lot it's just kind of like okay my effort's been recognized like i can move on to the next thing it kind of

puts like a an end mark on that activity if that makes sense whereas if you don't get like what you perceive as a good enough thanks it's like well fuck i don't i don't even want to put enough effort into this next thing i do because i don't feel like what you perceive as a good enough thanks. It's like, well, fuck. I don't even want to put enough effort into this next thing I do because I don't feel like anybody is noticing. That's interesting because that gives me almost no value. Like, oh, Woody, good job. Oh, Taylor, talk is cheap. You know? Why don't you offer a solution?

And it may gush longer. Like, hey, I really want you to know how much this meant to me, whatever, whatever. And I'm like, is this as uncomfortable for you as it is for me? Because I, like, it's... Was it always that way, or just after you did the YouTube? Because the mass messages that you get can make some people numb, not just to hate, but also to compliments. You can get numb to good things. I'm definitely numb to good things, and I'm working on my numbness to hate.

It's always, every year I get a little better. Wait, are you trying to get more numb or less numb to good things. I'm definitely numb to good things, and I'm working on my numbness to hate. It's always, every year, I get a little better. Wait, are you trying to get more numb or less numb to the hate? More numb. Yeah, more numb. You're making yourself more emotionally numb in some areas, but less in others. I'm not sure it's going to work

quite like that. Just tamp them all down, that's what I say. Just tamp them all down deep, deep below I say. Just tamp them all down deep. Like Rick and Morty, right? Take that, push it way deep. Way deep. You're going to want to put it way up inside your asshole, Morty. When is that show coming back?

It's supposed to be this spring, I thought, right? It should be pretty soon. It should be pretty soon. There was a false rumor that it was coming out at the end of July or something, right? It should be pretty soon. It should be pretty soon. There was a false rumor that it was coming out at the end of July or something, right? Do you guys remember that? But they said 18 months, so that would imply

around Christmas-ish. Really? It was their most popular show, so maybe they moved it to the fall season where it competes with the big boys or whatever, but it's Adult Swim. It's the creators of the show dragging their feet and just taking a really long time to get it done, and maybe that's because the product

is going to be better for it, but everybody wants to see the show because it's been over 365 days. I remember when that period passed not too long ago, and they were like, it's been over one year since the last episode aired, and it's like, shit. Time to air. It's kind of like a South Park scenario,'t it locked up in there rick and morty is not for kids right not at

all but we were watching it and colin entered the room and somehow i had the dumb notion like oh it's a cartoon so like you know colin can see it like you know it is a cartoon and now he won't stop talking about it he's like dad do you remember when rick and morty were nakey and i'm like i remember because there's an episode where like they're being spied on by a culture that's very very like sensitive to or like shy or embarrassed about seeing genitalia so they spend the whole episode naked and like we're going to wendy's he's like, should we get naked? I'm like, no, no. He's not serious.

He's just pushing my buttons. And yeah, huge mistake. Don't do that. If you want to see more, did you see the guy on Reddit that leaked the season, I believe it was three or four, episode one twist? I see you smiling. There's some guy.

So, you know know it ends with uh rick all uh chained up and in prison and stuff right yeah okay cool and the earth is overrun by aliens and you're like well where do we go from this supposedly this guy on reddit went back and looked at all the episodes from i think it's 1 to 10 or 12 in the season and there were all these little clues that uh explain what's going to happen in season one of the next episode i don't want to spoil it for you guys but it's actually like built up and it was a big enough post where i think the creators asked for it to be removed or it got kind of ridiculous so wow asking for it to be removed just lends credence to what would otherwise be just a fan theory it

was something that really blew up i purposefully chose not to watch it because I really enjoy the show. So I wanted to be surprised. But I was sitting there like, I want to click it. I want to see what happens next because it'll be kind of like an episode, but not really. I thought you were... As you were saying, I thought you were going to be fooled

because I temporarily was. You know, there was that court case where the guy talked back to the judge in a really crude way i was like yeah in my head i was like reverse engineering how this was all possible i thought it was a leaked thing from an upcoming season and i'm like i do remember he ended season two like on trial so i guess this is the trial i'm like but he i don't remember him being accused of, what was it? A panoply? Why is Morty the judge? And what did he do? Sucking people's dicks?

Offering to suck Morty's dick to get off the charge? What in the man? They went off the rails. That was a real thing. I'm going to be excited for that. Glorious Alabama. Yeah. It didn't make any sense to me, but I was trying to make it fit, because I thought it was supposed to be real.

That was hilarious. That was Georgia, by the way. That was here in Georgia. Where? I thought that was fucking hilarious. If you haven't seen it, look it up. It's like Rick and Morty Court. Search that on YouTube.

You'll find it. They also made a full animation of it that they released. So it's not just like the little kind of poster board sketches back and forth. Melissa showed it to me. It's like a full animation of their little tiff in the courtroom. Really funny. Because he's in court, right? Arguing with the judge, telling the judge to suck

his dick. And he's like, uh, you're the one in here for assault. And he's like, shut up, bitch. I'll kill you. I'll kill your whole fucking family. And he's like, oh yeah, you will. You're not doing shit from jail. He's like, I'm gonna fuck you in you in jail and just that's exactly what you need to do in court i can imagine his lawyer or public defender just sweating bullets or maybe just throwing up papers and just saying i quit the hell he was there about the public defender he was like this public defender is trying to fuck me yes he said he's not going to defend me unless unless i suck his dick and and and i i'm

here to defend myself right now and i need this piece of paperwork and that piece of paperwork and he's like you've been given all the paperwork he's like well i haven't been given this you've been you've been given all the paperwork there is though and it's i started thinking like this really is a shitty situation like i know the guy blew up and like told the judge he was going to kill his children with a hammer but it was just because he couldn't take the the frustration and it made him so angry that the system had was fucking him So badly he was asking for a public defender who would get an autopsy report because it was a murder case his defense Didn't have the autopsy report for the murder case in which he's being accused and he's like look this guy doesn't even have the autopsy report i want to defend myself if you can't get me somebody better and please

get me the autopsy report your honor that's what he meant to say when he said and i'm gonna smash your baby's head with a hammer i'm gonna come in his ass he threatened multiple times to kill the judge's family as this i I can only imagine, this poor public defender is rethinking all of his life decisions, being like, I'm $70,000 in debt. This is nothing like Ally McBeal or what she did

in her show. Like, now I'm an attorney. I should have listened to everybody who said this. I'm not writing justices in the world. I had a co-worker who was insanely into Ally McBeal, to the point that he also claimed to like and almost a lot of our listeners probably don't know who ali mcpeel is ali mcpeel was a quirky tv show from like the late 90s early 2000s callista flockhart she's a lawyer lucy lu and they it took place in a law firm and uh anyway, Ally McBeal, the quirky sort of main character,

I think she orgasmed or could claim she could orgasm or something by touching the back of her knees. That was her special sensitive spot. It's been 15 years, but something like that. So I had a coworker who also claimed that that was his thing and that he could, to semi-quote our friend, make a woman nut by just working the back of her knees properly. He claimed he could do that?

Yes. That this was a skill. What was this gentleman's name? No, no, no. Don't actually say that. That's shitty. Do you want the first name? No, I didn't mean it like that.

Was he one of your Indian co-workers? He had an American name. Okay. Okay. Yes, he was a short, very much heavy guy. Well, he's closer to their knees, so he's no longer that. Yes. That's what every woman wants is a short, heavy, hairy guy just fondling their knees and legs. I mean, you heard Trump.

You just put your hand on your leg and go straight up. It works great. Women love it because he's a star. More women have come out. There's like 10 now. One of them has like all these. One came out today. Today. I don't count her.

And she has a bunch of... I'm assuming 100. She was a yoga instructor, and she was quoting Trump. He's like, hey, check out the legs on this one. And she had a couple friends around, and I don't know. Of course, I wasn't there.

You don't know anything, but her story sounded so reasonable. She's like, I was embarrassed. I thought it was my own fault because she had a short dress on, but she was a yoga instructor, and I'm like, oh, is Trump going to also claim, like, I would never look at her? And I don't know.

Another one came out today. And this one apparently told people around her way back in the day. And they agreed. That he complimented her legs? Or that he did something else? He fondled her, too. It was like his opening move, apparently. Like he said, he just goes right in i would have

to ask the need she was reading it to me and uh um and she told a bunch of friends at the time but they all kind of agreed like he's so rich and powerful that there's nothing she could do and it just sort of dropped there until this resurfaced and it sounds like oh my god it's big conspiracy against him but he says that about everything and that's how these things happen you know like one guy breaks the dam, and then everyone else who has experience with this comes forward. Like, it happens like this a million times. Imagine if you had been sexually assaulted,

and we'll just, for now, we'll just pretend it was true, by Donald Trump. He felt you up on an airplane. Mm-hmm. Back in the day. And you see the man's running for president. Would that not scare you? Would that not bother you that your former

assailant is now going to be head of the free world, potentially? And it would make you want to come out even regardless of consequence or risk or shame and stuff like that. Maybe we should keep America not great again. Maybe we should not have America rapey again.

I've been frustrated by his defense. His defense is this big, like, dude, it's just, they change it from locker room talk to boy talk. It's just boy talk. When the guys get alone, we all get a little bit rapey, right? Like, we just sit there and talk about how we sexually assault people like it trust me it's just boy stuff you'll get it you know like you're girls you don't understand guys we're all rapey and i'm like no no doesn't he say in that quote he's he's like i came at her like a bitch in heat or something like that like like i don't remember

oh man turned him down and he said it was because i came at her like a bitch or something like that like like i don't remember oh man turned him down and he said it was because i came at her like a bitch or something like that yeah i moved if you watch that game clip moved on her like uh there's this lady that's getting ready to interview them or something and she's walking around the outside of the bus and they're sitting in the bus talking about her like this dress and those legs and like that ass and stuff and then you know she comes up and it's like all smiles and nice nice to meet you blah blah blah it's's out of this is the big bus interview right the ladies in a purple dress yeah yeah this is not what we need for leader of the free world and like obviously guys talk all kind of crazy nonsense together look where we are and what we're doing but i've never

i've heard a lot of i usually hear guys talk about this in more of a sexual conquest like man i had sex with a different woman each night. Or this girl was so beautiful. Or I hit her up with this line and she just melted and was all over me. I've heard a lot of bullshit talk. I have never heard a guy come in and just say, yeah, just grab her right by the pussy. You just go in for the touch. Or I've never heard a guy say you just start kissing her and they'll just

go for it because there's that was it they'll just go for it because there's nothing they can do no because he's a star they want it because he's a star something i've heard of crap like that you know i'm athletes typically that's where i would hear that from um but not it the forcefulness is not something that i typically hear that's that's a little bit out of control i'm glad you said that because i've got a similar experience. I've been in a lot of locker rooms. Between swimming, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, and ice hockey, I have 20, 25 years in locker rooms.

I've heard lots of sexual conquest talk. I remember one guy in particular who's in my head right now who had slept with this first redhead and that was a really big deal to her. Like, I slept with this redhead, got some fire crotch, and that was a big thing. But I've never heard anyone get, like, rapey with it, you know? Like, as a lifeguard, we had – they called it muster, right? Everyone kind of met before we went to our individual beaches. We went and kind of met before we went to our individual beaches.

And in those mornings when they would take roll call and attendance and whatever, they would sometimes talk about girls they met at a party and how hot they were and three ways and whatever. But it was never like rapey. Trump is rapey. Trump is like, dude, I can get away with sexual assault because I'm a star. And now that some of these women are coming forward and they're like, I let him get away with it because he's rich and powerful. I felt like it was a bully type thing. Like, what can I do to take down Donald Trump? Like, I'm out of luck. That's how these women actually feel. And yeah. Doesn't it sound

very reasonable, though? Like, imagine you know a guy, like everybody knows a douchebag or a super rich guy or something like that. Imagine somebody ten times more than that, Donald Trump, born into a billionaire family, billionaire his whole life, heir to a huge fortune, businessman, in control. Like as soon as he was out of college, like CEO or like managing the hotel's boss, top down, very affluent, powerful, out and about. Does it really surprise anybody that he's sexually aggressive? This is the kind of guy that typically doesn't take no for an answer. You see on the debate stage, this is the kind of guy who, for better or worse, women throw themselves at him for his wealth. Wish that wasn't the case, but it happens. Is it really that shocking that somebody that's been in a position of ridiculous power for his entire life and been able to act on it is sexually aggressive or that these kinds of stories come out? Yeah, it still is.

It still is because there's lots of people with power and in positions of particular power that allow them to be grabby. There's lots of guys that are in management and in those positions where they can do it. We keep talking about locker rooms, and I haven't been in a lot of locker rooms, but I've talked to a lot of dudes, and I've definitely heard rapey assault talk from multiple guys before that always made me feel very uncomfortable.

They're not Americans, usually. It's not my bag, baby. This is not what I'm into or anything. It's always a really dark conversation where i'm just like i wish we weren't stuck in this car together sergey so i didn't have to hear these about these war crimes really 18 bosnians huh fuck you know sometimes you hear some shit you don't want to hear um but i don't know what this thing is with trump it's it's i'm surprised for one thing that it didn't come out earlier um you know with it but but with so many coming out you gotta say there's definitely

some credence to it i'm glad that no one has said that like this isn't like a bill cosby situation right it's not like he he drugged me he raped me he humiliated me afterwards he told me not to talk it no one has said anything like that you notice no one was like he told me not to talk. No one has said anything like that, you notice. No one was like, he told me that if I told anyone that he grabbed my pussy, I would never work in the modeling business again. It's not like that. It seems like a very inappropriate, misogynistic, grabby old man out of his time. Nailed it. Who's probably not a nice guy all at the same time.

And that's what's going on here. I don't think that... Sean Connery, James Bond? who's probably not a nice guy all at the same time. And that's what's going on here. I don't think that... Is that like the Sean Connery, James Bond? Yes, there you go. Get out of here, my dear. It's time for man talk. Yeah. That's not bad.

That's basically the kind of era and mindset that we're talking about here. No, that's a quote from the movie. I know it's a quote from the movie, but that's basically what you're saying Donald Trump is like, and I totally agree with you not that i've ever met the guy so i don't i don't know he can be charming and sweet to watch because it's very clearly uh billy bush who's like trying he's like the host of the show i guess he's like trying to ramp it up and like oh keep that energy level high we're just guys futzing around and donald trump being this so patent to everyone in the world but billy bush

in that moment he looks like an insecure asshole who is just standing out there chest puffed i can do whatever i want women love it i'm so rich i just walk over and they're throwing themselves on me i'm the best i'm the fucking king i'm donald goddamn trump like it's it is and watching billy bush basically do like a real life troll that he was implicated in because Billy Bush is also kind of shitty from what I've heard. Like ramping up Trump being like, oh, yeah, let's get this – how about a hug for the Donald? Calling him the Donald in real life. Can you imagine how much your stomach would hurt if you were in that room? How much you'd have to go, oh, don't, oh, Billy Bush, you little bitch.

Why would you even say that? Why would you act like this little weak shell of a man just trying to make Trump look like the big head honcho there? It's uncomfortable. It's very uncomfortable to watch, and it's cringey. Billy Bush was trying to facilitate Donald's scoring with this married woman, and I thought the whole thing was pretty bad. I don't think he was doing

that as much i think he was trying to ramp it up and get material for his show there billy bush was but i don't think that trump if given the opportunity they're not they're not allowed to broadcast that like they were miked up and stuff but they weren't ready for recording it like none of that was for the show that was just them in the bus yeah yeah and then here's another thing you guys think the other tapes are going to come out supposedly there's far worse tapes for the apprentice and other shows and that include racial slurs and other hateful things you think those are ever going to see the light of day or the studio is just going to sit on those to avoid lawsuits i'm sure that they will come out a fine if they release the things. And some billionaire who doesn't like Donald already came forward and said,

Hey, I'll pick up the fine. I got $5 million right here. Play them. And then nothing else came of it. So as much as I'm willing to admit just about anything and everything about Donald, it's clear this thing's not going well there. I don't know. I just... For the time being, I won't believe that he's the n-word. There's no way for NBC to win. In a mean, like, dark Donald Sterling kind of way.

Like, I don't think he's up there like, ah, those niggers this, those niggers that. And the Jews, too. It's a big conspiracy. You see, the Jew uses the Negro to overpower the white man. Like, if he's having talks like that with like all of his like inner circle, then I'm like, oh shit, let's no more Donald Trump stakes. No more Donald. Now I'm, now I'm on board. Now it's time to like boycott all things Trump, right? Because he's like borderline white supremacist. He is a white supremacist in that, in that, uh, in that light, if that's true, but I'm not willing to sign onto that quite yet until I hear him. Um, but we know

he's an asshole. There's no good way for NBC to handle it because basically they have to come out and say, they'd have to release it and say hey look at all this. Look at these clips from 2003. Look at what a monster he is. And people will be like wait, so you had him

you knew about all this for decades and you continued to employ him as one of the flagship shows on your network. And so this didn't bother you at all until it was convenient. Is that what it is, NBC? And NBC would then have to say, like, well, yeah, I mean, you already knew what hat we threw ours into, and so you knew we would come out on this side. And, you know, if we had really thought about it, then, you know what?

As a matter of fact, a couple of vice presidents are going to have to step down because this is just tsk, tsk, tsk, reprehensible that this could come out sooner. Like, that's all that could happen if NBC released it. Like, they would look like assholes, too, because it's like if this is damning evidence that he's a piece of shit racist that really was being awful and you just sat on it, then you're implicated in this. There's two other things. First of all, as a network, aren't they not allowed to officially endorse a candidate as a network? So they try to stay somewhat non-biased. And also, other than the $5 million fine in the contract,

couldn't he sue them for either slander or libel? I forget which one. Not if it's true. Yeah, but he would, and he would just throw lawsuits their way, and it would just be expensive and cumbersome. If it's not true and it causes financial damage, I think that's slander. He won't sue though because then he's just adding fuel to the fire. Then we have a big court case where we get the nitty-gritty details and we find out exactly what is true and what is not.

I so disagree with that. He will totally sue because he always sues. He did not sue when the New York Times released his tax records. Dude, the New York Times made him his bitch. Like, they wrote that letter. I was laughing. Oh, do you want to hear about it? Here, hold on.

Let's see. This won't take me long to find. While he pulls that up, you talk about court cases. One of the nine women or whatever are having a, I think it's a grand jury hearing. Like, they're actually going to a hearing and we're moving forward in court but it's going to be in november after the election what's her charge do you know sexual misconduct sexual assault it was one of the lesser sexual assaults i don't think it was like a full block no it was right here it was the i think it was

the 13 year old girl that said he tied her up or some crazy shit like that. Come on. There's no way. I just can't believe it, Donald. I'm going just purely on memory of stuff that I've read. Donald Trump has a man who ties up all of his little girls for him. So if she's saying that he tied the knots himself, she's a goddamn liar. Here's the New York Times letter.

Yeah, yeah. The essence of a libel claim, of course, is the protection of one's reputation. Mr. Trump has bragged about his non-consensual touching of women. He has bragged about intruding on pageant contests in their dressing rooms. He has acquiesced to a radio host's request to discuss Mr. Trump's own daughter as a piece of ass. Multiple women have mentioned in our article have come forward publicly to report on Mr. Trump's unwanted advances. Nothing in our article has the slightest effect on the reputation that Mr. Trump, through his own words and actions, have already created for himself.

And it goes on. It's a couple paragraphs long. They released his taxes illegally, though. That's illegal? I don't think... Is it? Yeah. You can't just release someone else's personal information. Are you sure? You can't just release that. I mean, it acts in New York Times Which is a majority owner of the New York Times is Carlos slim who makes an enormous amount of money from illegal immigration

Because he gets a little bit off the top of all Western Union transfers things like that of sending money back to Mexico So clearly unbiased New York Times, but and you know times the liberal paper. I mean like it people defend difference No, I'm saying the majority owner of the New York Times hates Donald Trump. Yeah. And he has a lot of ways to hate on Donald Trump realistically and in a good way, but he released his taxes illegally. That is illegal. That was the only illegal thing. There's a lot of people that don't like that, man.

There's a lot of people that don't like Clinton either. It's not a popular race at all. Nobody is happy. The Trump supporters have been – Just one second. Clinton either. It's not a popular race at all. Nobody is happy. I'm going to ask this question to you. Just one second. The Trump supporters have been upset that the media is not covering the things they want them to cover. And I took notes here. There is this great list of things that Donald Trump supporters wanted them to cover. And it's Clinton's cough suppressing device, Clinton's severe brain damage, Clinton's strokes and seizures.

It was on Reddit. It's a list of things that came off the Donald subreddit that they wanted, that they were all upset that the mainstream media didn't cover. Clinton's strokes and seizures, Bill will be dead within the month. I remember most of these. Clinton had Justice Scalia killed. Clinton had

a DNC intern killed. Obama is bussing in illegals month i remember most of these clinton had justice scalia killed clinton had a dnc intern intern killed obama is bussing in illegals to rig the election the election will be rigged mainstream media is sabotaging trump after giving him two billion dollars of free advertising in the primaries the dnc is working to get with the rnc to get hillary elected megan kelly sabotaged trump by being on her period anderson cooper is a hill shill. Lester Holt is a Hillary shill. Martha Raddatz is a list. These are all things that have come from Reddit. This is a list.

I thought the Donald says, hold on, hold on. Let's just be clear, to be honest about this. This is a list of someone who very clearly has their mind made up and is being a little bit snarky and snide in these lists. Yeah, dude, if you go to the Donald, there's a bunch of crazy nonsense there of wild theories. Hillary had a secret listening device in the first debate. These are supporters.

Yeah, these are supporters of the Donald. Do you remember Hillary having a secret listening device in the first debate and how they were all upset about that and there were pictures and this and that? There was no thing in her ear. This is the salting the earth tactic that you get often from people that are still defending a lot of these conspiracies

is that you say look at this they thought that meghan kelly was a conspiracy theorist because she was on her period never seen that never heard of it that's clearly a joke from someone making up a list they thought that the rnc and the dnc were ganging up to get against hillary they thought that she uh deleted a bunch of emails and then conspired to start riots in Chicago. And then they also believe that she's an alien. Am I right? They throw in a bunch of bullshit in there.

They say Trump supporters are responsible for 0% of violence at their events. The polling is skewed. Wait, wait, read that last one. The polling is skewed. No, no, no, one before. Trump supporters are responsible for 0% of the violence at their events. It just came out in video evidence that the Clinton campaign intentionally caused violence and is trying to bait violence at Trump rallies.

I saw that whole video. We're not sure yet because the guy that produced those videos is famous for taking things out of context. He was also the guy, if I'm not mistaken, he went to HUD or like social services or something. Yeah, he tried to buy baby parts. But the one before that was really bad. He went in and he tried to get, I think it was like HUD or like one of these welfare type agencies. And he was like, hey, you know, I'm bringing in, I'm smuggling in a bunch of illegals overnight. I need somebody, I need a place to house them. Can you help me? And the guy, God bless him, he says, okay, you know what? HUD's going to help you. We'll take all the immigrants

you're going to smuggle. Just tell me when and where, and we're going to do all this. And as soon as he left, he called the police and told them exactly where the meet was going to be so that they could arrest everybody, right? But all they got on the camera was him just saying, yeah, HUD's going to help. And that's all he put in the documentary, and the dude got fired. That's totally possible. I haven't seen that documentary. But have you watched this one? Yeah, I did.

It wasn't looking great. It was some really, really dirty tactics. It's not out of context quotes because it's not – for the most part, there aren't little snippets of people saying things. It's like full 20-minute videos of them sitting in a bar and this guy going like, yeah, you know that Chicago thing? We did it. Oh, another good idea for a hit. We're going to get women there early. We're going to have them hide signs in their pockets. And then we're going to try and make it so that men are bullying them.

Like, it's clear manipulation. There's also frank discussion of voter fraud. Like, these are actual real issues. The best was they planned to have signs and to say things that they said they, quote, knew would make Trump supporters flip their shit. Like, they planned the most offensive things to do possible, just, like, piss people off and make them fight at the events. I saw all the same stuff. The only thing is,

Taylor's not right when he says it wasn't edited and it was 20 minutes long. The stuff I'm seeing, anyway, is they edit lots of it. Like, there's one where he's like, they pay this guy, they pay this guy, and then they pay me. But, like, you don't know what they're paying for. Like, they just kind of, like,

oh, okay, so that's the money trail, I guess. Yeah, they do. And then, like, not in the same clip, not without an edit. And I, like, I know how edits work, right? You can make it say anything. You can really distort the message, which is this guy's specialty.

And so they outline, like, the money trail, and then, like, 10 minutes later in the video. This is just so surprising to me that you were just all over, like, a bunch of accusations, you know, except that it's facts. You used a little form of barter. I believe that Trump is a shitty guy. I believe all the accusations against Trump, for the most part, because he's a shitty guy, and I believe he Trump is a shitty guy. I believe all the accusations against Trump for the most part because he's a shitty guy and I believe he does shitty things. But to then, as soon as the table turns and it's like, but look at these actual definitive things of voter fraud, of manipulation, of ganging up on fucking Bernie, ruining Bernie's chances in the primaries with collusion in the DNC. Fucking the DNC years ago in 2011, Tim Kaine was the head of it. He stepped down, made room for Jebby Washerman Schultz.

I wonder what Tim Kaine got out of that. This is real shit, real shit. And nobody wants to talk about it. I mean, look at what we just did. We just talked 20 minutes about an old clip about Trump being an asshole from 2005. We didn't talk at all about it. The point I'm trying to get to in this is that the Trump side has spammed so much bullshit, right? They jump on every conspiracy that the true stuff that comes forward gets lost in their noise.

The point I was trying to make, and I can't get not interrupted, but the point I was trying to make is this is like, hey, why won't the mainstream media cover this? It's because you've been bleeding about unsubstantiated and debunked bullshit for months and no one cares what you think anymore. If they would stick to things that were actually true, you know? And by they you mean a small niche group on one website. The loudest Trump supporters is what I'm talking about.

Now maybe this, we all, everybody views the world through their own lens, right? Like, we all have our own universe. Like, this is my universe where I'm exposed from. For all I know, there's a whole other group of really respectful people who don't jump on every conspiracy theory. But my view of the Trump people that I encounter is, oh my gosh, they see the mic pack. Everyone here has probably worn mic packs for a lab mic and say this is a secret listening device that hillary had on during the debates and i think oh all right well the next time i hear from you i'll know that you're full of shit yes but but don't throw the baby out with the bath water on

it because basically i i do not believe that the media was thinking you know this wiki leak stuff and this these videos they're really good we should cover this oh you know what a very a vocal minority contingent on reddit has been talking about how hillary's actually a reptile monster so let's just you know none of this matter like that's ridiculous that is ridiculous they don't cover it because they have a vested interest in supporting hillary that every one of the mainstream media outlets is flagrantly ignoring wikileaks ignoring huge blows that would cripple any other campaign. The only reason Hillary's alive is because she's running against one of the worst candidate,

the worst candidate in presidential history. Do you remember the conspiracy that people were like, so Hillary, Donald Trump used to do stuff with the Democratic Party and they were friends and she went to his wedding. And that's, you know, powerful people in New York. You go visit socially. It's not a conspiracy. Like what the conspiracy that maybe Hillary asked Donald to run just to shake up the Republican Party, and somehow he started getting more momentum than even he expected. And, I don't know, kind of like you feed the beast and it gets out of control and it rebels against its master and stuff like that.

Do you think that's possible? I don't think it's possible. I don't think it happened, but it's exactly what I was thinking watching the debate the other night. I was like, maybe Hillary just had Trump come in here and clear the fucking way because, man, she is so bad at this that Marco Rubio would be wiping the floor with her right now. The likability rating of a Marco Rubio to a Hillary Clinton right now would just be night and day. There was a WikiLeaks email about it. This list, I never even got through it all. There's stuff on here like, all fact-checking sites

are Clinton shills. That's something I can't get away from. Woody, this is a list from EnoughTrumpSpam, a very vehemently anti-Trump part of Reddit. So if we're going to throw away the nonsense bullshit from the Donald, why don't we throw away the nonsense bullshit of strawmans? You hate strawmans. This is a whole list of them. This is actually an ad hominem attack,

not a strawman. A strawman is when you change somebody else's argument to something you'd rather argue against. An ad hominem attack is when you say, like, oh, well, you would say that. You're a priest. Like, you don't attack the message. You attack the person who gives it. Yeah, I guess that's a whole blend of stuff. A whole blend of representation with little bits of truth speckled in so that you can read through and justify it in your own head.

But that's what I'm trying to say, so thank you for agreeing with me. with little bits of truth speckled in that you can read through and justify in your own head but that's what i'm trying to say so thank you for agreeing with me like there's this list of things in here and every so often i run across one like quentin quid pro quo with the fbi i believe they did meet on the tarmac and they did have an influence i remember they were like oh we'll get her to go along with what he said like the fbi and then the fbi comes out and says we're not pressing charges so now the attorney general who agreed to follow the lead of the FBI doesn't and it's like fuck like that's something that they organized in that freaking meeting on the tarmac right before they were going to come out like I believe that some of these are true um then what did they get in

return is the question that's what we really don't know like obviously a favor was called in right what was the favor is it a future favor? I guarantee her career will go up and not down after Hillary's president, right? That's always going to be the case. That's what her little thing is. This list is just silly because this list is literally, literally composed of things that children from the internet put together over the course of months throughout a silly campaign where cartoon frogs and witches and werewolves are commonplace talk. And I mean, calling her reptilian is a legit thing. It may be on that list. I don't know if it is or not.

But I've heard her referred to as a reptilian seriously on the internet and in other places. But Clinton was on drugs during the second debate, right? That thing comes from Trump. Trump legit asked for a drug test. He looked like he was on drugs. You saw him? He looked high as a kite. But he was probably just old and tired and he's got a bad heart. So they're

saying Clinton was on drugs. Clinton was wearing an earpiece. Clinton started the birther conspiracy. Are we talking about Bill Clinton or are we talking about Bill or Hillary? We don't know who they are, but this is the point. I'm surprised you haven't seen these same things. This, to me, is stuff I hear all the time. I'm surprised you add any weight

to them and inject them into this conversation. It's like me saying, hey, my neighbor said this. I judge all Trump supporters. He's a Trump supporter. I tagged what he said along with him. The Donald is a silly half-assed parody subreddit. A lot of the people on there aren't Donald Trump supporters.

They just want karma. They're posting cartoons and tabloid stories. That's not a piece of journalism. You can't use them as a... No one's calling it journalism. I'm saying this is what the Trump supporters are saying. And it really is not. No, it's not.

That's what some Trump supporters are saying. And some Trump supporters There are some Hillary Clinton supporters who are saying the same thing, but we don't go to them. Like, we know that there's a bad... You know what? I was seeing that there... I read a comment from a Hillary Clinton supporter on the Hillary Clinton Reddit

that said that she thinks, or he thinks, that gun owners should be prosecuted because there's no excuse to have a weapon because it's just needlessly dangerous. I would never say that that's at all indicative of Hillary Clinton supporters as a whole, but this isn't exactly what that list you're reading is. You're saying, look at it, they thought that there was a huge conspiracy that she had an iPad in her fucking podium on debate one. No, that wasn't a huge conspiracy. It was a big conspiracy on one small forum on one website on the internet,

and then those those relative people on twitter spouting the same nonsense but that is not indicative of the republican party as a whole this whole alt-right thing is a minority of people who are very loud online because they are younger and a lot of them like kyle said are doing it for the lulz because they want to fuck around because they want to get all their internet points by jumping on this bandwagon knowing it'll be popular so it's just there's some truth just really annoying to watch this whole thing, this whole orchestration play out. That's not what I'm saying at all. Okay, go ahead.

So it's annoying to watch this whole thing play out. And true blue illegal conspiracies become proven on Hillary Clinton's side. Oh, they orchestrated the Chicago violence in those rallies. That's a crazy conspiracy theory. Something comes out, a guy from her campaign takes credit for it. Those people end up fired as soon as those videos come out. Not generally what you do with someone who's innocent. Usually you have an explanation.

You only fire if it's immediately a bad thing. And people are still so bogged down in Trump's shittiness interpersonally it's like yeah i know i bet he's a terrible guy i bet he's not a lot of fun to hang out with he's an arrogant narcissist but this person hillary clinton is so much fucking worse she's had the reins of power and she's demonstrated not only is she woefully inept but intentionally damaging and selling u.s secrets down the river for whatever foreign entity wants to give a lot to the Clinton Foundation. There's dyed-in-the-wool facts that she has broken the law

and she is receiving treatment that none of us would receive if we did the same thing. It's just ridiculous. The point I've been trying to make is not that all of these things are true or even that all of these people think it's true. It's that there is so much noise. If something like the James O'Keefe videos came out, which is what you're talking about with the james o'keefe videos came out which

is what you're talking about with the chicago violence thing if that had come out in silence it would have gotten way more attention than coming out in a sea of bullshit which is where which is the environment that's actually or if it had come out in the primaries or something like that because because you can't tell the real stuff from the bullshit is so much every time i turn on the news every time i turn on my phone is some kind of crazy nonsense one way or the other i'm not going to ask you um i actually just want to talk to woody on this one for just a second because you're you're older than i am by far but i uh sorry i i you know followed political stuff even in high school and middle school, and I watched the elections.

I think the first one that I was ever involved in mentally was where we had a doll, a good old Bob doll running against Clinton. But I cannot remember a debate so ridiculously ugly or nasty or with so much dirt on it. There's always dirt. There's the swift vote veterans for vengeance and the the bush did 9-11 stuff and whatever um but this was just savage and not only that but it seems like the candidates are horrible the joke is always we're voting for the lesser of two evils we're doing you know you just choose the one that you can live with and you usually get like 20 30 percent of americans supporting one candidate and the other ones being like okay you know it's not so bad right this time around you have like a very

small amount of true trump supporters you have i know a lot i'm in texas right this is red state very few people here in texas even my most conservative friends very few really support they're just like it's better than clinton and even on clinton's side a lot of like liberals and stuff when i got in california talk to those people they're just like i guess it's not trump like it seems like almost nobody really supports the candidates and my question to you is am i hallucinating am i imagining this because the internet or is it really just that bad so there's there's two parts of that um one yeah there's never been an election in my lifetime where both candidates were hated this

much there's usually a guy you actually kind of want you know he doesn't always win but you want one of them this is the first election where people really don't want any of them you know like there's this more hate on the debate thing though of them. There's just more hate. On the debate thing, though, I liked this year's debates more than any in my lifetime. And I'll tell you why. It's like when Gore debated Bush, the first time, this is 2000, I think, or whenever the hell it was.

And afterwards, they were talking about their ties, their shirt, did they roll their sleeves up or not roll their sleeves up? Gore sighed too much, right? So he, like, Bush would say something and Gore would go, like, did you, dude, now? That's not what they're talking about. Like, what happens is the next morning, it's fucking fact check, fact check, fact check, right? There's a little bit on, like, Trump's temperament or something like that. But by and large, because they do that, right?

They talk about the interruptions and whatever. But by and large, I feel like they're just fact checking everything and talking about whose plans were more detailed. And like they just kind of, it's more substance oriented. Whereas before, oh my gosh, like it like a a red carpet event where they talk about their clothing and their attitudes and and and all that funny stuff and so body language body language oh yeah they would legit hire body language experts to talk about how they held their hands did they point with fingers or thumbs you know because clinton was a big thumb pointer and uh yeah kyle's got it and uh um this time at least they're talking about the things they said like and i i really

like that and i like that it's harder to lie right like um pence the night of i felt like really won his debate right like everyone kind of walked away saying pence did great the next week was about all the bullshit Pence says. All the coverage was like, Pence said Trump never said that. Here he is juxtaposed against Trump actually saying that. Trump said never. There were this like half a dozen examples like that.

And I like that. Whereas if you go back 10 years, it'd be like, Pence really won. He was so confident and presidential and that's where the story ends. And now, it's all about, not all about, but there's so much more truth and stuff that it's encouraging

to me. There's no way for either of them to win. You remember when Trump was like, somebody asked if he, what is it, there was an opinion on ISIS, if I'm not mistaken, and Trump is like, so it's like, well, your running mate said blah, blah, blah. And it's like, well, then we disagree and we haven't

consulted. I'm like, really? Damn, son. I didn't hate him for that. I liked that. Yeah, I liked that. I liked that because it was more of like, oh, shit, I've never heard a politician say that. Usually it'd be like, Pence said he disagreed with that. And then the politician would go, oh, well, I must have misspoke. Could you me exactly what pence said so i can align it like

that's what would happen but it was kind of i remember watching that being like oh that's that's actually a little bit surprising it's stuff like that that gets certain groups of people to like him but really you can't find anyone like you're saying drifter that actually likes these candidates like if you ask someone why they're voting for hillary or why they're voting for trump it's never it's because trump has this policy it's because hillary's gonna do this it's because hillary is the devil and trump is you know the antichrist and they're the worst person ever and we have to vote for this person as a way to avoid that person that's the only defensible argument because these people both do indefensible things if we judge them like we normally would judge politicians neither one of them have a good tax plan.

Neither one of them have a plan for Medicare and Social Security. Neither one of them have a real grip on foreign policy and how it really should be conducted. Hillary has had her hand at that, and we saw what happened. It's just been a big mess. I've heard so many of those reports on the Internet of, you know, this world leader didn't respect her. This one didn't like this. How when she would have foreign ambassadors come over, she wouldn't let them get in the car with her. She'd make them ride in a separate car when traditionally they get in the car with her.

But instead she wanted her like chief of staff or like some other person sitting next to her in the limo. So like all of a sudden every ambassador, ambassador you know it's an ambassador from Estonia right like maybe it's not that big of a deal but let's just be clear the ambassador from Estonia does not fucking like Hillary Clinton and felt disrespected by her and that's just you don't want that right you want a secretary of state who's like pulling

every world leader every ambassador in close and whispering in their ear I don't know I heard the Saudi Arabian ambassador loves her they love. They love her. They love her over there. Didn't they fund the campaign a lot because Citizens United opened up to outside funding and stuff? Yeah, there's a lot.

I actually got a fun one for you guys. You're going to like this one. Any of you guys considering voting for Gary Johnson? No. No. No? Good. A lot of people are voting for him. I met him in person. Huge asshole. Get out! Get out! So when I was in college, I was into the Ron Paul thing, Young Libertarians.

Sure, sure. We had our own thing on campus. It was funny, the Libertarian group had like a thousand students, and Republicans was like 20, and Democrats was like 50. So we actually had Ron Paul come to our campus and speech, and I was media for the day, and we had a lot of guest speakers and stuff. We met Gary Johnson one time. I think this was obviously way before he's running now. And he came and he gave this speech about libertarian principles, and he went on and he talked about Second Amendment and right to own firearms. And, of course, I was that goofy guy that asked the question, well, like, where do you draw the line? Can you own a tank?

was that goofy guy that asked the question, where do you draw the line? Can you own a tank? And the guy just lays into me and makes fun of me for being stupid and asking the stupid question about owning a tank and the fertilizer that you can use to blow up a building and stuff. I'm like, okay, that's fine. It's not a stupid question. I have friends who own fucking tanks

and we want to know how he's going to legislate tank ownership moving forward. It's a very big deal for us. This gets worse. Bear with me. It's a little private event for us. This gets worse. Bear with me. It's a little private event. He started talking about right to conceal carry, and he said that he does constitutional carry in every state, which is conceal carry even if he has a license or not.

He said he had a license in no state, and he said the Constitution grants him the right to bear arms, so he will conceal carry as he sees fit. And we're like, well, what if you get just a traffic stop, and the cop searches you and finds the weapon? I'm not shitting you. When he said that he would tell the officer that he plans to use deadly force

if the officer is going to remove the weapon from him. And I'm like, at this point, I had to be that guy again and ask questions. And I was like, hold up, you're serious. If you got pulled over and you had a concealed weapon for which you didn't have a license you would tell the officer that he can't remove it and that you would use physical force if necessary and he's like yes it's my constitutional right and like you don't care about getting shot at all and he's like no because i'm right and i will die for this little thing from that point on the whole tone of the conversation just got worse and worse

like these are his supporters these are the young libertarians right and then they went out for dinner afterwards and this is a little bit hearsay because i'd had enough i was like what happened there i'm fucking done with this right but a lot of people still went out for dinner and they said at dinner he was just a complete ass like i was done but all of my friends are like this is the worst event ever he was just like make fun of the people that supported him because they didn't support him enough like if we agree on one issue but i have a slightly different opinion it was not accepted was like hammering all the way home until you agree with me 100 so i've been telling people when i get the chance that wanted to support gary johnson and the libertarians and all this kind of

stuff i'm like this is not the guy like even in a room full of his supporters he was basically picking fights and saying stupid ass stuff this was the year that the libertarians could have put somebody who was really good up and so many people would have voted for him because the other two options like he could have they could have run commercials with just the guy standing there like kind of smirking and going what else are you gonna do do? I'm Apple. I'm DC. You could just have like a Donald Trump impersonator and a Hillary Clinton impersonator first. Like, I'm Donald.

I'm Hillary. Yeah. I'm Steve, motherfucker. Right. All right. Vote Steve and this doesn't happen. Like, that's the whole commercial. I hate both of these people and so do you.

Vote for me this November. I promise you no change. Everything will stay the same. None of your fears will come true. Yeah. Not going to start any wars. Not going to sell our national security. Not going to start a really big, creepy, slush fund faux charity.

I'm just going to get in, sit down, and probably not do much. No border walls. No bailouts. We ain't doing shit this year. Out of all the crazy things that all the candidates have said, though, I think that her talk of enforcing a no-fly zone over Syria is much more dangerous

and insane than Trump's wall. Trump could tell me he was going to build a wall over the entire United States. Like, Canada too! Keep them out! On the beaches! What the fuck? We don't want those dirty Canadian fish United States. Like, Canada too! Keep them out! And I would still be like, that's stupid. Yeah, yeah. We don't want those dirty Canadian fish

hopping onto our beaches anymore. Never again. Like, he could say that, and it still wouldn't be as crazy or dangerous or frightening to me as telling Vladimir Putin that if you fly your plane over this area, we're going to shoot you down. We don't care that you've got a naval base here now, and that you're ready to

go, and you just annexed a whole fucking chunk of a country. That's the scary thing about Hillary, man. She's made some bad, hawkish decisions before. I don't know. She was pro-Iraq. I'm trying to remember some other examples. I'm coming up short.

I think it was 98 out of 100 senators voted for Iraq. I mean, that was right after we were attacked. The hype was on. But then again, it was still the wrong decision. Yes, exactly. They're politicians. They're supposed to be able to remove themselves from that kind of

personal pressure. That's why we have representatives and not direct democracy. Did Bernie vote for the war in Iraq? He didn't. He didn't. He didn't. He was the one who didn't, and then there was another guy. And, of course, Donald Trump. I think she didn't get her run for her money. I don't think she expected anything from him but to roll over and die.

Yeah. Bernie was... And, you know, for all the, what I consider to be false reports of Hillary corruption... Some are true. That one's true. The DNC thing, those email leaks she even like uh well i forget the word i'm looking for but confirmed that those emails were like legit from her the dnc and hillary worked together to make sure bernie lost like that really happened and no support like everything was stacked against him and he did so well despite

it all um so real i gotta say bernie was very impressive throughout this whole thing he he's he is the old guy who's not a billionaire who doesn't have a staff he's the old guy who when he announced i i love the picture of him right yeah he is rich yeah not rich as fuck he just you know it's like three houses yeah like he immediately went to his multi-million dollar house on a beach or something like that after the after the his wife owns it though we all know he's a cuck but what i'm what i'm getting at here no what i'm getting at here is it was really funny when he announced his run for presidency it's it looks like i'm announcing no no no i would have more people it looks like steven gas station is announcing his his run for presidency there was a it was

really pathetic he had a really small like podium in front of him it was chipped and dirty and a microphone he was in a field it looked like like behind a denny's or something like it was sloping down and and there was dozen, 15 people there, and most of them were either... Most of them were doing their jobs. I guess they all were. There weren't very many people who were like, yeah, we're going out today to support Bernie. He's announcing. There's three people. I saw that clip. He was screaming

into a cornfield before his handlers turned him around. Bernie made a real run at it. He did as well as anyone could hope for. The one thing I'll say about him, not all of his ideas were brilliant. I did like some of them, for sure. One of the few people who had ideas that I liked. Not all of them.

I didn't like him. But it's fine. But tell me this. Did it not appear that he cared? He could be wrong, but he genuinely thought that what he was doing was right. He felt that he had a righteous cause which i guess can lead people to do terrible things but you know you look at trump and hillary and it's just like how much can i spend this and how do i avoid that let's cover

this dirt up and bernie's just like i have to try to do the right thing right even though i didn't agree with bernie's plans i always thought his motives came from a pure place and you know that there's something i thought so too i thought he was just misguided and but wanted the best for people until he endorsed hillary at which point it was kind of like well this is if there was usually someone like cruz saying i'm not going to endorse trump because he made fun of my wife and said my dad might have fucking helped murder jfk which is ridiculous yeah uh and so i'm not going to endorse Trump because he made fun of my wife and said my dad might have fucking helped murder JFK, which is ridiculous. Yeah. So I'm not going to endorse him. And then Cruz ends up

endorsing him. You're like, okay, another politician. You didn't expect him to keep their word. The thing that was different about Sanders is that you were like, okay, this guy, he's an insider, but a little bit of an outsider insider, if that's not, if that makes a little bit of sense. I was kind of expecting him, he's not going to throw a little bit of sense right like he like i was kind

of expecting him like he's not going to throw his support behind hillary for real like for a while i was like yeah he will he's just like other politicians and then i kind of got swayed over to the fact that like maybe this guy is different and then of course he throws his support behind hillary and as soon as she requests it which was kind of like well fuck dude like you were supposed to be this like super awesomemessiah in a way, and then you, you know, come when the devil claps as soon as she needs you. Yeah, the messiah of the left sold out. I think Bernie could have ran it as a third-party candidate

even after everything was said and done, and he would be what we're all talking about right now if he had. We've been talking about why he made Trump win. Yeah, because he splits the left. So Bernie is far left at the end of the day love him whatever hate him isn't that better those are left of hillary and when you split we're better with trump there's just not enough i still think that like i still think that too i think we're better with trump yeah because because here's the thing i think trump if trump does something bad it's

because he made it it's accidental hillary's gonna do some bad things on purpose that that's that that's my main justification hillary to do some bad things on purpose. That's my main justification. Hillary will intentionally do bad, malicious, evil things that are not necessarily in the interest of the American people, certainly not in the interest of us here. But Trump, on the other hand, might bumble or pussy grab an ambassador or something, and then four years will go by,

and we'll get a real president in there. That's what I think would be the result of a Trump presidency. But Hillary's very chaotic. You have chaotic or controlled evil. Wait, which one's controlled? Hillary Clinton, for the most part. A lot more capable, forward-thinking, not...

More calculated. Trump, only one of them has voted for and supported wars as a politician. And the other one was busy making reality tv shows yeah and running a business and that's that is what he did his job wasn't being a politician so that's not a very fair knock no what i'm what i mean is just the meter of the person one never voted for a war as a politician a fair pro thing no that might know the argument i was

not argument as much as i was just trying to make a statement of one is crazy chaos, one is controlled. I don't think Hillary is controlled. I think she has a record of hawkishness in that she is – if she is controlled, it's controlled manipulative bullshit in her favor where she facilitates armed deals with foreign nations and takes back ends off of it where she does bullshit and where she actually starts wars where she actually does horrible things where she's oh you know saudi arabia you're a good friend take all these planes have fun killing a bunch of people in yemen maybe so but she did all of it on purpose she did all of it on purpose yes i just the reason i don't think trump would go ahead sorry trump could wake up one morning and just be in a bad mood and be like you you know what?

Fuck Nova Scotia. Somebody would come in and like some ambassador like from Estonia and they'd get along and he'd be like, I ain't going to listen to that bitch. I mean, we just talked about how the ambassadors actually don't like Hillary. Right. That's not great. Like I said, our choices suck, man. They fucking suck. Who's the German leader? Like, Wenkel or something?

Merkel. Merkel, yeah, yeah. I can totally see Trump on the podium like, Merkel, she's a four. Why are we even working with this woman? I mean, just look at her. You think that I would work with Germany? You're a cop down there.

Yeah, she would not be my first choice. That's what he would say. The leader of the EU. I honestly think with Trump, I don't think he's going to do anything. If he gets elected, which I don't think... I think it is a 0%, maybe a 2% chance he gets elected. But if he does,

he's not building a wall. He's not going to do any of this crazy shit. He's going to get in there and let Pence do a lot of what he wants because trump i think is just a narcissist who wants the ego boost he wants to be the president but he doesn't want to like do the president's president and start selling like trump branded this and that like president trump collector plates and numbers of coins look the Trump presidency is forget about the country's well being just put all that aside

let's talk about entertainment value and merchandising options okay now we're gonna have some fun he's got so much power as the president we all know it and we forget about it that the president can on a whim just be like hey all the major news networks i'm gonna be talking to the country today show up and be there

with your camera rolling he could do that at the drop of a hat now and and we've seen him put on these uh these these conferences where we think you know oh donald has something substantive to tell us about it's very big deal everyone common And then he tricks you, and it's really just an ad for Donald. I think that's what the State of the Union addresses would be like. I think that's what the, you know, the radio announcements would be like that the President does every week or whatever.

You'd get Trump advertisement. The TV would come on, you'd see him sitting at the desk, you know, just focused, and you're like, oh shit, I remember when George W. told us that we were going into iraq oh god i remember when when when clinton came on like this and we were bombing slobodan milosevic this is going to be some heavy shit and he starts talking about trump's stake and he starts talking about the new miss universe pageant coming up and it's gonna be huge and like eight minutes in you're like did anything happen or you just want to talk like i'd like everybody to join me at 8

p.m on nbc for the 20th season uh celebration of the apprentice please you know now the apprentice like that's cool would be real cool if he had like if he if he was like you know the west wing was a huge show back in the day think that but reality style bring the cameras in let's go let's go they're like They're following him to the situation room. You get to see him making major global changing decisions like this and that. Yes, no, go. Kill him.

He won't make major global decisions. He'll retroactively give himself an Emmy. This was rigged all along. That was funny. That was a good part of the debate where he said he'll give himself the Emmy and he goes – or what did he – you probably remember it better. I do. I do. He was complaining about things were rigged, right, that this election was rigged.

And she's like, oh, yeah. And back when this judge was supposed to try his case, he said that was rigged. And back when this was supposed to happen, that was rigged. And for three years in a row when he was nominated but failed to win the Emmy, he said that was rigged and back when this was supposed to happen that was rigged and for three years in a row when he was nominated but failed to win the emmy he said that was rigged and trump was like it was there's something close to that what did trump say that he said i think he said like i should have won it yeah yeah okay that's right you're wrong no he said i should have won it and i saw that he had put out a puppet he had put out a puppet he had put out a bunch of tweets of having lost the Emmys, and he tweeted that this whole Emmy process is rigged.

So I was like, oh, I hope that this comes up in the debates, and it did. But that was the real thing. So do you guys think that the election is rigged? And I think I'm going to say it kind of is. I don't think there's massive voter fraud. There's always a little bit every year, but not like ridiculous, like 150 percent of the people voted. Right. But Donald Trump has the left stacked against him and he split the right. Like he's not getting endorsements from some Republican figures arguing with some of them.

He calls the GOP spineless and they're saying that he doesn't respect the the party itself is kind of turned on him so not only is he fighting democrats he's fighting about a third of the republican party as well i'll admit he's doing a shitty job but that's not what rigged is right rigged to me would be the wrong person winning and like it it just doesn't sit with me like the main argument like why is it that it's rigged when there's a presidential election but then when it's senators and congressmen and stuff every other two years there's no rigging at all right because the republicans claim rigging the republic senators people have said that uh al franken got in because it was rigged in minnesota i think it is i've i haven't looked into the facts on that

these are people on reddit just i'm teasing. Many people are saying, these are smart people that are saying this. This isn't just a couple articles on Google. These are certainly facts. I'm just saying. I hadn't heard the Al Franken thing. But at a high level, I'm like, oh, why is it rigged for the years where the Democrats have been doing well lately, like the last two presidential elections? A lot more scrutiny. But it's unrigged for the other two.

The smaller down you go in the election, there's much less interest in everything. That's true. To a local level, it's pitiful. I mean, in 2000 and 2004, Democrats said it was rigged. In 2000, Gore spent, like, five weeks suing and wanting recounts. Well, the recounts were triggered automatically by law

because it was so close. Like, it wasn't even a Gore thing. I'm just saying that, like, this revisionist history of you know every other year people just say you won back to work for me whatever i do like that's not true that people think about rigging all the time trump talks about it way more than other people but in previous elections it's absolutely true where people make a fuss and say on both sides of the aisle that stuff is rigged you do it american idol style we should all call in let them know who we want yes text trump to 8088 yeah what happened with the gore thing is he won the popular vote and then he lost florida and there were a couple like legit things

with the ballot like there were two pages and they didn't line up and it made it like like nader got an unusually large percentage of the vote. And people think that some of those were, they wanted to vote for Gore, but the butterfly ballots didn't line up. That was the thing. But the way Gore handled it, I didn't love either. Like he wanted recounts. Apparently, and I'm no expert,

a recount tends to get more votes than the first time around. And he only wanted recounts in counties that benefited Gore. Like he wasn't saying we have to recount this whole state. He's like, oh, no, we need to focus on Miami-Dade County, and then another one, Wade, maybe? He also tried to get rid of military absentee ballots in Florida. Tried to make it so those would not be counted.

I don't doubt it. Like, Gore's, yeah, right? So, yeah, Gore's whole thing, kind of he wanted recounts in a way that benefited him. And then it went to the Supreme Court, and the Supreme Court voted along party lines. So Gore's whole thing, kind of he wanted recounts in a way that benefited him. And then it went to the Supreme Court, and the Supreme Court voted along party lines. It was like 5-4 Republican, which bothered me a little bit. It might be that's just how they felt and whatever, but it also – I never thought of the Supreme Court as very political because of those lifetime appointments that they get beyond all that.

But they voted for the way that would have helped Bush along the party line. I didn't like what Hillary said about the party lines. In the Supreme Court? Yeah, most of the time they vote down party lines. Not a lot of outstanding opinions.

Because leading up to decisions, they're always like, well, we know how this is going to go. It really just depends on what this one justice decides. Because we just know what these two and what these two are going to say right i like that the justice are being held up i find that entertaining if nothing else um and and i god i hate both these fucking candidates so much you got donald up there talking about repealing roe versus wade and you got hillary up there who is just stupid just just between fucking toxic teeth is just spewing these lies about her real positions about gun control,

which if there's anything I know about, it's that. And I know she's lying every step of the way, and I wish Donald was good enough to call it. Oh, you can go back. I love those quotes from the 90s where she talks about super predator this and drug epidemic that and against gay marriage this and now pro. And I get that times change and opinions change but it's a pretty rough juxtaposition.

She still supports the assault weapons ban. Yeah, she does. And partial birth abortion comes up and Donald doesn't know how to explain it. She's terrible on that. I wanted Donald to explain what partial birth abortion is. I wanted to explain that the head crowns.

The woman is giving birth and then they insert the scissors into the skull and open them to create a wound. Isn't that illegal in most states? They suck out the brains with a hose. It's like a real thing, and the reason I don't think he could come up with a good argument against it is because he's a

pretend Republican. He doesn't actually believe most of this stuff. He's like, I'm also pro-life because Pence assured me that's what I should be before I walked out here tonight, and I will not be going against him on that. Taylor might be right, or he might not be able to lay out these positions because

I feel like he doesn't have the attention span to learn the positions. When he said we should punish the women for having abortions, it's like, no, that's not how they historically do it. What they actually do is they punish the doctors for performing them and consider the women a victim. That's what the politician is supposed to say. He just didn't know.

He doesn't sit there and come up to speed like other people in his position. Because I think his position before that was pro-choice. He's intellectually lazy. He's intellectually lazy or he's dumb. I think as much as I like having a good time about Trump, he may be a little stupid here despite his accomplishments in other regards.

You know, a braggadocious real estate tycoon, which is really just a big, loud-mouthed salesman in the end, isn't necessarily the guy who can sit down and crack books and really learn international policy, comprehensive tax strategies. That's thick stuff. If you don't already have your feet in that water, it's going to be hard to get up to speed.

And it's really going to be hard to get up to speed on all the things that a politician says when you get these 30 questions. Someone should have sat down and been like, look, every politician gets asked these 30 questions. Here they are, and here are the answers that we all give no matter what we do. And they're there. Things like blaming, oh, it's the doctor's fault, not the woman. Never blame a woman for anything.

I'm a politician. Never say you're going to raise taxes, even if that's necessary. We've seen that. Unless it's the rich. If you are going to raise taxes, even if that's necessary. We've seen that. Unless it's the rich. If you are going to raise taxes, you have to tell them this only impacts people that aren't you. And make sure you use very vague words like fair share so that if nothing happens, maybe that was the fair share.

Maybe nothing needs changed. Maybe they need to pay less taxes. Maybe that's more fair. let me get an ad read here I want to tell everyone a little bit about Squarespace because they're helping us out sponsoring the show tonight when you use Squarespace to build your website it will look professionally designed regardless of your skill level there is no coding required

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build it beautiful. So whether you're starting a business, building a portfolio, or just expressing yourself online, remember to sign up today and go to squarespace.com slash pka. That's squarespace.com slash pka. If you need a website, Squarespace is the place to get it. That's probably enough politics. I have a new topic. Yeah, we've done a lot of that. I want to talk about this.

Time to boot the arm. 44-second video about airplane violence more or less i wish taylor were here but i are you guys ready for this let's get taylor back he'll be back soon okay all right we'll wait for taylor um shit i had it so you took off from your yard for the first time ever in your uh your paramotor i know that was a huge deal for you that it's one thing to be able to drive you know multiple hours and like set a whole thing up but the idea for you i think um of just stepping out the back door and going into the sky and then you know doing your thing and coming right back was the big thing and you did it i had a video i made i don't know if you saw it but i talked about it for 10 minutes and it's a really big deal to me like Kyle laid it out perfectly like it's it's pretty neat that you can take a

paramotor somewhere and go fly it's a portable thing it fits in my truck I like that about it but the dream included looking at the sky and saying you know what I feel like flying and 15 minutes later you got it laid out and you're running into the air and there's something cool about no instrument panel in front of you there's something cool about like just so open if you lean forward while I have a chest strap but you can

unbuckle it and you can just roll into the sky you can do a somersault to your death that's the way to go it might be I've seen these things. These things aren't even remotely safe, are they? No. I didn't think so. Just making sure.

Woody's like, I've only crashed a few times. Come on. You're not still with us. The statistics on them is that they are safer than motorcycles. And that's per computer. Only if you're jumping motorcycles, I believe. What it is, is in a motorcycle, you're dealing with traffic and all kinds of things

that are hard to predict. I'm sure if it was motorcycles on empty roads, they'd be safer. But the reality is more people per capita get hurt on motorcycles than paramotors. I'll add this to it, though. If the paramotorist views it as aviation, then it's really safe. You know, like we're going to go up. I've kind of thought about my flight plan,

where I'm going, what I'm doing. And I'm coming back. If the paramotorist thinks of it as a sport, like I'm going to learn how to do loops. I'm going to learn like a go-kart that you can just hop in and go. There's that like not checking out the weather first and stuff, but you can literally do loops on it. And, not checking out the weather first and stuff. But you can literally do loops

on it, right? And that's a thing. Kind of like holding a bucket full of water. You're swinging high enough or fast enough and it works. And there are people better than me who know how to, like, work the energy and, you know the pirate ship ride where it goes up a little and it just continuously goes better until it can do full loops?

That's kind of how they do it in a paramotor. They build up speed and left turns, turns right turns and then they do the full thing and there's something called a wing over i think where you go sideways i'm not an acrobatic pilot um if you're into that then you will probably someday work your way towards they call it gift wrapping where you go halfway up and then you come down through the wing and now you're like a Roman candle or something. You know, just like shooting through the air. That's bad. That doesn't sound safe.

I was telling Woody yesterday or the day before that the next time we do some sort of an outdoor PKA event of some kind, whatever it may be, that it'd be really cool if he made some kind of an entrance with the paramotor. Like imagine like, you know, a lot of you guys have been to the events that are listening to us right now. There's a couple hundred of us out in a field or something waiting, and all of a sudden we hear him coming. And it slowly gets louder. And the cheering starts, and then we see him coming. And I imagine you with smoke grenades on your feet or flares on your feet, or maybe even holding an American flag

that's like something fast like flopping behind you or something like a real entrance that you make uh with this thing that would be so cool and it's not that crazy like like let's say we went to some uh a paintball field for example like like what's the first one we went to cpx is that what cpx yes yeah cpx totally has places i could land a paramotor. Why not just, like, throw that... Instead of flying in next time, I'll drive in. I'll throw the paramotor in the bed. Drive all but the last, whatever, 15 minutes of it. Take to the sky and arrive...

Would it be safe for you to play paintball from there? Like, if somebody's shooting a paintball at you, is there a way that it could totally ruin the rig and you fall out of the air? I think I'd just get enough altitude that you can't. I think I'd just get altitude. I don't want paint all over my gear and stuff.

No, I was meaning like you, like you know how at CPX Sports when we went to that thing, it was like, oh, here comes a tank. It was like a golf cart with a bunch of stuff on it. I don't know, maybe they could be like, oh, here comes our resident Apache. And then you would just come in and be able to shoot from like 30 feet in the air.

Low enough that they can shoot. I don't want to be shot back. Just drop them. Oh, that's a great idea, Drifter. Drifter just nailed it. We already talked about this idea, and it just won't work. It's stupid, because they can't return fire, and if they do, what if he gets hurt, he crashes?

What if that paintball hits his throttle and it maxes out now He can't stop and he's trying to figure out some way to stop it. That's bullshit that doesn't work But what if we made paintball? Bombs and they are a thing right like we don't need explosives Don't know get me wrong, but something that when we drop it and it hits the ground from Woody's 400 feet of altitude it Bounces and goes like a mad they make those paintball grenades and what they do is they take really small intertube like smaller than my pinky and they

Hyperinflate the center portion of it with paint and then they crimp the ends and fold them so when it lands and bounces it comes Uncrimped and all that pressure is spent spinning and squirting paint everywhere now imagine we made one that weighed 25 pounds like we're talking about three gallons. And Woody's just up there and he flies over the enemy and lets that piece of shit go. I'm going to be like an incompetent terrorist, right? Like, dude, it's all over his lap. He fucked it up.

Strategic bomber. Oh, that would be the best. You're up there and we just see like a big green poof. Yeah. I don't think I want any part of this. Aren't those some of the best YouTube videos ever? Or I guess not YouTube, LiveLeak, where terrorists accidentally kill themselves and their fellow

terrorists, where they have a plan and then you're like, aha, you jackass. There's one where a guy tries to pop around the corner in Somalia or wherever the fuck, and is trying to shoot an RPG, and he just cranks it right into the fuck and is trying to shoot an RPG and he just cranks it right into the building right in front of him and then he and all of his

horrible little friends explode and it's like, there you go. That's like probably 15 kids and a bunch of women that are going to see another morning because this jackass didn't aim correctly. Where he's like dropping the mortar rounds into the tube and

all of a sudden a tank just shoots him? I thought it was a mortar round misfire, but no, it was a tank. The best was they caught this guy having sex with a goat and they blew him up from an AC-130. I like how he's

really not actively engaged in combat or doing anything like hurting people. They're like, let's just take this guy out. Pulls half of them out. We got a goat fucker at 3 o'clock. What's he doing? What's his mark? He's just fucking the goat.

Should we take him out? You know that guy heard the AC-130 rounds landing around him beforehand because they weren't the first people that he shot. there were other people that were getting shot if i if i'm thinking of the same video and that guy just kept fucking the goat if i recall because at that point it's like i can't come back from this yeah you know we're going out together babe there's almost no way to survive an ac-130 like if you're away on the ground a guy on the ground i i thought about this the other day i could not think of a way to reasonably survive an ac-130. Like, if you're a guy on the ground, I thought about this the other day. I could not think of a way

to reasonably survive an AC-130. No. Unless you're just able to jump into a missile silo or down a well. Yeah, a cave. If you had a cave nearby. No, you'd have to get in the cave, though, because they'll shoot one of those big-ass howitzer rounds

in the mouth of the cave from an angle and suck all the fucking oxygen out of it? They could maybe collapse the cave. I would guess they'd be a partial collapse. They'll bury you alive in there. Even if you're in a city, let's get under the overpass. I love when they do that. They went in the cave. Seal them up. Oh no, guys. Looks like he found a cave. Oh yeah, man. We better wait for him to come out.

No, just blow the whole cave up it's hard to deal with that fucking thing I don't want to get away from the video but I saw the Navy's new high tech destroyer and I guess the cool thing about this destroyer is it's got four electrical generators that it's powered by

I think it's burning gasoline or something to power them but it's creating an enormous amount of electricity and the purpose of that extra electricity that they've created is for rail and laser weapons, rail guns and laser weapons, kinetic rail guns use electromagnetism to hyper

accelerate projectiles to like Mach 6 6 times the speed of sound, it's incredible technology but it requires a lot a lot of electricity. And while the thing is not currently armed with any of those armaments, just seeing it, I saw some video of it going down like a river. I thought they were

taking it out to sea or something. It looks so futuristic. It looks a lot like the spaceships from Star Wars, but it's on the water. I hope it works. Because that's always my knock. Like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. We got lasers and we have sound-based weapons.

It's so futuristic. And then meanwhile, it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You just have to aim the laser at the same spot for 90 seconds. And it gets so hot to the touch that they'll hate it. They just do it. They would not care for that way. You can ramp them up significantly in power. The railgun's probably the better because that's shooting a slug.

It's not even that big of a slug, but it's going so fast, it just incinerates everything on impact. Nothing's stopping that. I think that they have maybe... I know they have a plane-based laser system, and I want to say that it's like the plane that they use for the

AC-130, but they just fill that huge cavity of the plane up with the inner workings of a gigantic fucking laser, and I think they use it to shoot down missiles. We probably saw the same thing. They use it to shoot down missiles of most any kind, because

normally to intercept a missile, you'd have to hit it with something, but with a laser, you just track it, you know, speed of light, so you just firm it up. Firm it up. Yeah, that's cool. Let's watch this video. It's called Time to Boot the Armrest Hog. Yes. I am huge at uh... Yeah, so Drifter, if you're not familiar with this, we put it on zero and then I'll say one, two, three and then we'll hit play together. So one, two,

three, play. Is everyone ready at zero? No, I'm on advertisements. Okay, I'll wait. everyone ready? Zero? I'm on advertisements. Okay, I'll wait. Watching Ouija, The Origin of Evil.

All right, ready. Ready, set, play. What's up, Facebook? So I'm in a bathroom right now in an airplane. And I have a guy sitting next to me that thinks he owns the armrest. I'm going to go back and I'm going to try to get some video

of me showing that if he wants to tussle with the muscle He's gonna get it So I'm gonna fuck him off You wanna tussle with the muscle? So watch this he pretends to be sleeping like this happens as he's asleep He's got his CrossFit t-shirt on. I accidentally watched the wrong video because I'm smart man. What a fucking...

Yeah, what an asshole. He shoves that guy's arm off, and he looks bewildered. And then you realize that the guy who shoved his arm off didn't even pretend very well to be asleep because he's, like, raising his eyebrows, like, looking a little peek through his right eye and, like, oh, he's staring at me. Okay, still close, still asleep. He took that arm off fast.

He was, like, he took it like it was an ambush predator. He waited for his moment, and it didn't even come. The other guy was just resting his arm on it, and he's just like, boom, and takes it it and the guy stares at him like are we about to fight what is this wait are you asleep are you fucking really asleep he doesn't know what to do because he thinks that there's a chance that this man has had some sort of a a sleepy time movement and taken the arm i'm sorry i have clinton's disorder so like this is an area where i know the jim jeffries thing i think we've

even had it on this show before i see that kyle has it yeah we could watch it if you want to but he's like look the guy in the window has the window and you can lean there the guy in the aisle has a little extra space for his legs the guy in the middle has two armrests because we live in a society and because jim jeffries said, it suddenly become this like truth in places. And I don't know what to make of the whole thing. I like to share the armrest, but I've told at least two stories where people didn't want to share the armrest with me. They seem like armrest bullies. And like I'm not – I don't like to be bullied.

That's the kind of thing that I'll push back on. And like I'm not – I don't like to be bullied. That's the kind of thing that I'll push back on. And – Jim Jeffries is the one that I subscribe to. Last time I was on a plane, I remember I think I had the center. And I was being very – I was like, all right. I don't – actually, let me think. No, no.

I had the aisle, was i was allowing her the center uh seat to take the armrest you know i'm sitting politely and she's like you can have the armrest and i'm like no no no the center seat has no has no advantage here i've got nothing to lean on you've got nothing to lean on you got no extra uh leg space you can't you have to ask me to get up the bathroom you get both armrests and And she was like, no, I really don't want them. So I took them and I felt like a king. I was like, ah, oh no. So I like that. And it seems fair. The way that I've always worked it and I'm willing to change is like almost you choose where you want to be on the armrest and leave something for me. If that means I have to use the forward half or the back half or whatever, I'm okay with that.

But that was always my line of thinking. This guy with the armrest supremacy thing kind of made me laugh. If he didn't say tussle with the muscle, people might have liked him more. His dislike ratio is at like 300 to 2,000 right now. I did not expect it to be that bad. Like I expected him when he was saying, you know, tussle with the muscle in the bathroom. I thought that was funny and then when he went back like i i saw the ratings before i walked finished watching the video and i was like okay he must like really like elbow this guy in the nose or

something to get him to move because there's no way and then he just kind of douchely pushed his arm off and i think that's fine that guy's in the middle he deserves that armrest and you could see if that guy didn't know that he was in the wrong the guy who had it stolen from him taken back justifiably actually not stolen taken back recaptured he wouldn't he would have like made a scene or something because that guy knows that blue shirt is not sleeping because blue shirt nobody sleeps with their hands grasped around and flexing of an armrest in my opinion he's like, gasped around the end of an armrest. In my opinion, he's sleeping, holding his cell phone, filming himself for Facebook. Like, oh my god.

Yeah, hold on, guys. So, but the, like, okay, the last time I was in this situation, I was like, you know, I'm taking the back, you take the front, we'll share it. And then, like, I think he, I had to wait until he left, and then I put it there, and he's like, I want the armrest. And I'm like, well, I was here first. He's like, you sound like a child. Then what rules do we apply? Like, help me out here. He said, I want the armrest.

And then said, you sounded like a child. He said, no, he was like, excuse me. He said, I want the armrest. He's like, I'm trying to put my elbow here or something like that and I was like but I was here first like tell me what rule set to apply here

and I'm willing to go with it wait wait wait which seat are you in are you in the middle here I believe he had the aisle and I had the window and that was the size of the plane oh okay well then that is more up in the air. I'm not sure, though. I hope I'm not changing my story.

But, yeah, I think that's what the deal was. I think in that situation, a person on the outside should get the back part of the rest so they can have something to lean on. Because the person by the window can have the front part and still have the whole window to lean on, you know? And it's all about leaning real estate on a plane, just things that you can balance yourself on to get some sleep. And so you need to make sure that guy in the aisle gets that back spot

so he can kind of brace himself, and on the window, you're already in the best spot. You can sleep against the side of the plane. That's my two cents. In my opinion, the guy that was kind of wronged here, the one that had really spread out and taken the armrest, what gives him the right? Why was it his so much in the beginning?

He's looking like you really just did something to me, and I guess he did. He pushed his arm. But I also see where tussle with the muscle dude is coming from because why do I have to do this? I don't know the rules there should be rules anybody anybody can sit like this for a 45 minute flight but if you're going overseas it makes a much much bigger difference and you you've flown a lot so i'm sure you've had some

interesting uh people i've sat next to a gay tank commander it was very touchy and like to spill into my space um one of my more recent flights, I sat next to a morbidly obese woman that had like an entire buffet in her bag of three different fast foods. And then when that was gone, she started eating paper. She ate paper, like from the fast food or just? No, it was from the straw. She put the whole straw in her mouth with paper and everything and just like licked it up and shoot it up and ate it and just put the rest of it in the drink and stirred it up so you got paper flakes floating around and i'm just sitting there like yeah this is perfectly normal i'm just gonna read my book you know and i were on a flight together where we had a 15 year old helicopter pilot named dylan

yes i remember that that was one of my more intelligent decisions. You know what? He flew pretty well, I thought. Did you come with me on the cab there with the crazy cab driver that was yelling at people on the way? It was right when I was starting to get into Uber. And if I remember this correctly, the cab driver put his arm and his head out to scream at somebody in the traffic. And then on the way back, me and you and everybody were like, no, no, no, no. We're just going to do Uber do over yeah i don't know i like you like you said that was one of my more intelligence it's weird at 15 you wouldn't want a 15 year old pilot and i feel like that doubles down for helicopter right he was literally too young to get his license

right he's too young to get a helicopter pilot's license he had to be 16 but he also had like 350 hours and i'm telling you like i don't know what i'm talking about i'm not a helicopter pilot but it seemed like everything that happened he meant to happen like there was no moment the instructor never recovered anything he gave him some tips it was a new helicopter to him so he would tell him like what rpm and something else i don't know any better but he was giving him some like what i thought were machine specific instructions but that shit i don't know they did not there was no close calls on it it all seemed to be just what he meant to do do you agree we're talking about doing loop-de-loops and we're like yeah nah that's not yeah what was the uh what was your cab driver screaming about because i like bad transportation store was he yelling at like a passerby

it was traffic it was traffic because we had to go up to a regional airport and he was just all over the road and uh if i'm not mistaken somebody cut him off and he started screaming at them by sticking his head out and yelling at them. That's why I do Uber. 99% of the time I get good Uber drivers. Very rarely do I get bad ones. I did have a dude up in... He got high. He had a high Uber driver

that didn't know where he was. Oh, that's horrible. That's not what you want. That's why I called you. No, when he picked me up, he says, dude, what city are we in? Oh. And this is after I've sat in the car

and like 10 feet along the way. And we're sitting there like we have to turn off on the highway, right? And he's got his GPS going and it says, take a right on exit blah, blah, blah. And it's not one of the small exits. It's painfully obvious like Midwest, huge ass turn lane it's coming up okay take a right on blah blah blah okay take a right on blah blah blah and i'm like

dude the exit's right there's like oh what what yeah it was probably one of my few bad uber experiences did he tell did he come out and say oh oh, man, I'm sorry. I'm high. I shouldn't be Ubering right now. You just kind of figured it out or got him to admit it? That's kind of the impression that I got. Huh. Yeah, that's not what you want in any kind of driver. Mm-mm.

On your channel, Drifter. So I don't want to say you started, but at least my introduction to you was you did call of duty analysis more professionally than other people like other people did it first my first video back in like 2009 was called duty analysis but you took it to another level and better um production value and research and stuff then you got into league i think right and did a bunch of yes i was in the League of Legends for a little bit. I got out of that recently. Replaced it with Overwatch.

I saw that. Is it because the League community, I'm told, more toxic than COD? Hard to believe. Toxic in a different way. Their Call of Duty, I would say, is a bunch of angry dude bros in a locker room. Okay. Like too many guys and not enough girls.

The League of Legends community is like a cutthroat competition to the top. Because the game, you have your normal matches, but then you have ranked. And the way to become a professional League of Legends player is you play their game. You just get online and click ranked.

And you go all the way up to the very top. And once you're at the top, a pro team will recruit you. Like, you will be officially a pro player, and there's no... There's not, like, Call of Duty where you need to know somebody. There's no nothing. It's fucking cool. Wow.

Wow, that's so cool. I did not know that. I had no idea. I like that. That's really... All right, let me ask you this, because this is really important. If you are a professional League of Legends player, like, you're the man, how much are you bringing down?

Let's say you can stream. Probably, I would say if you're bottom end of professional, probably closer to like 300k, 400. Near the top end, you can probably get closer to maybe a little under 10 million. That's outrageous. 1010 million a year. It's the biggest export on the planet. I would have taken a zero off all of those numbers if I were guessing.

That's shocking. They fill out Madison Square Garden. They use the Olympic Stadium in Korea and have 400,000 people watching in person. If you're in the top, you can have really ridiculous stuff. Why did you get out of it? Well, it was not a ridiculous stuff. Why'd you get out of it? Well, it was not a good habit. I played the game a lot more than I should have.

I think in a couple of ways it hurt my video quality because I was focusing on League of Legends and not Call of Duty. I spent a lot of time on it. The matches are very long. A League of Legends match is 30 minutes to an hour. And you cannot quit or you will get banned for significant periods of time.

And that's one of the reasons it's so toxic. Let's say you're doing a ranked game where every step is just another step up toward that $10 million paycheck, right? And you get put in there with a bunch of fucking idiots. And you're stuck with them for an hour. And if you quit, you get banned for a week. That creates a lot of toxicity. I can imagine. So were you ever in the pro right no no no i was uh i was at the bottom so they did uh bronze silver gold diamond and then they have like master and challenger as exponential all the way and i the best i ever hit

was low gold which would be like maybe average And only the challengers at the top are the pros. Yeah, and that would be like the challenger, I think is top.001% out of like 60 million players. Shit. That's a lot of people. Is there cheating? Yes.

You gotta find that out pretty quick though, if they game that popular and that much money on the line, right? It's not as, it's not like HOD where you aimbot people, but there is bits of cheating. The banhammer is really strong, and the anti-cheating tools are strong. So at least at my ELO, I almost never ran into it. It's not as big of a problem.

But no, League of Legends was crazy like that, and yes, very toxic. But I moved on to Overwatch, which is very similar to League of Legends, but in a first-person point of view. It's a shooter, you've got a lot of abilities and crazy moves and stuff, but it plays a lot like League, but first-person.

And it's a much more positive game than League of Legends. The whole community was built around positivity. All the characters compliment each other before the match instead of talking shit. And Blizzard did a brilliant thing marketing the game, because instead of just giving the keys to the top streamers, they gave it to people on DeviantArt and Tumblr and cosplayers

and a large number of females and artists that maybe not even really played games and got them into it. So it started with this big base of positivity. So that's been really good for me. It sounds like you're really into a gaming environment that has women into it. It's rare.

Think of a fast-paced first-person shooter you've played where when you get on, there's a 50-50 chance that there's going to be a woman on the mic. 50-50 is a lot, but I will say this. Left 4 Dead had a lot of girls. Surprising. Yeah, that's true. I've only played it a little 50-50 is a lot, but I will say this. Left 4 Dead had a lot of girls. Surprising.

Yeah, that's true. I've only played it a little bit, but it seemed like there was always a girl. Yeah, Left 4 Dead had so many girls, and then it went to con. It's a community game, though, right? So I think you've got bands of friends, and often those incorporate a girl,

and so they're just... I know we always had a girl or two that played with us that was good. I would never play with a girl or two that played with us that was good. I would never play with a girl who wasn't fucking good at Call of Duty. That's one thing I will say for sure. Like I found that disgusting. Someone was like, oh, yeah, that's Steve's friend. She's new. Well, then she can't fucking play.

She can't fucking play in our like top-tier master's level group we got here where we're pub-stomping so fucking hard our eyes are bleeding. We're going for Winstreet, motherfucker. What if we run into another full party? I know the girlfriend. That's true. You would be sexist if you let her play just because she's a girl. I know the girlfriend that Kyle's talking about. And by the way, I mean girlfriend, not the romantic kind.

And she pulled host a lot. That girl had like 50 both ways back when that was godly. Other people have three. She pulled a lot of host. Yeah, that helped a lot. Talking about gaming, there's a lot of good games that come out.

You've got Modern Warfare Remastered coming. You've got Battlefield which is better this year than it has been for the last three sequels. Overwatch is still relatively new for me. I enjoy it. On top of that, you have Titanfall 2 launching. Another shooter. Counterstrike is bigger than ever.

And I've got PSVR over here that I've been playing with because it's easier to set up than the Vive or the Rift or anything. And a bunch of games for that. So it's been a pretty awesome year for gaming. And yet you have forgotten the biggest release of the year, Civilization VI, which comes out in 2 hours and 45 minutes. Nah, not for me.

Oh, I'm so into it. I got it preloaded, I'm ready to roll. I can't get back into that. I did that back in the day, like Civ 1 and 2, but those kind of games I just know are bad for me because they're good and addictive, and I would just sit here for like 18 hours and play Civ. And it's always

one more turn. Like, oh, I can just do one more turn. I can stop at any time because it's not a live-action game. I can step away, but you don't. You just keep going. Well, I'll just wait until I get my stealth bomber. Then I'll step aside. Well, I may as well just go for the science victory now who cares if it's another two hours away like yeah i'm gonna be fun tonight we're gonna play some multiplayer i think as long as the

multiplayer lobbies will hold us uh play like a maybe a six person free-for-all or something so it's gonna be like a three or four hour game i would estimate i'm gonna be super aggressive uh this this civ has a um it's fucked the The civ 6 is fucked up. Like none of the streamers who have pre access to it want to admit it because they've been treated very nicely by Firaxis. They're certainly not lying. Filthy's not lying. He's not saying anything that isn't 100% true, but he I feel like he dances around it a bit. They're like, what do you like most about civ 6 over civ 5? He's like, well there's a lot of new civilizations to play as. And it's

just like, well, yeah, there's a lot of new Civs, but what do you like game mechanic or user interface-wise that's new and different? What gameplay aspects that have been added? What about zone of control and combat? What about those changes? Do you like all that? What about the artwork? I don't think they do.

Scythia, whatever her fucking name is, the Scythian Empire, is going to be so overpowered for multiplayer play. Usually there are good military civs in Civilization Germany and Civ V. Very strong. They get an extra hammer

per horse, iron, and resources like that. Strategic resources. They get one extra hammer. It's a huge deal. In Civ VI, Scythia gets double military units in the early game. So when she builds one, it builds two instead. It builds two instead!

So she's going to be able to Zerg rush people in Civ. Even better. Even better than a Zerg rush. Because with a Zerg rush, you know, they're just pawns, right? It doesn't matter as they evaporate on the front lines. This time around, they also get another bonus where after every, I think every time they kill an enemy,

they heal 50 hit points, which is a massive heal for Civilization. So what's her weakness, then? There isn't... Well, I mean, alright, so she certainly gives up ground. Not a good temperament. Scientific. She's not as good at science. she's not as good at science she's

not as good as good at culture she's not good a lot of things but taking three extra cities right off the start is the best way to win the game right she can just eat a city state and and own its lands with no penalty very very early game you know you skipped over the biggest thing i feel like so i'm trying to jump in it when we talked to filthy the thing that i thought was the biggest thing i feel like so i'm trying to jump in it when we talked to filthy the thing that i thought was the biggest advantage of civ 6 over 5 was that they care about multiplayer and you can expect the stability and bugs to be fixed you pretty much couldn't play a civ 5 game without it crapping out on you and i know you figured out some secret sauce on how to recover that and saves and things so the deal is this now. They haven't fixed those bugs.

I saw them having connectivity issues today trying to play three-player matches. All the menus look identical. Chiz was really disappointed with that. I haven't opened the game yet. This game comes out in two hours and 45 minutes, but we're seeing someone with the full game. The multiplayer menu looks

identical and doesn't look like there's matchmaking or ranked, which is what we all want because if you put 1,700 hours into a game, you kind of want a badge that proves it, right? You want to show that you win 80% of the time or whatever it may be. You want to quantify how good you are. Do you want to play ranked right off the bat? Like, don't you want to play it a bit? No, I want to get in there and fight. Like, they're no better than me.

I've watched all the videos. I've played more Civ V than most. I'm going to be as good at Civ VI from the start as anybody is. I've probably watched 20 hours of... You did beat Filthy. I did beat Filthy. But there's probably 20 hours of

Civ VI content that I've watched already. I kind of know how to play for the most part. Really excited for it, but multiplayer shit again. We will have to rely on the modding community. I think that's really tentative. I haven't even played the game yet, but from what I've seen in his stream of him playing the game,

they were having a connectivity issue, and then the auto unit selection, you have to go in the back end to disable it somehow. You have to go into the... How can they launch games in this state? I feel like this not just happens with Civ, but I talk about all these great games even some of the best games launched with some of the craziest dumbest bugs that i have ever seen or like giant multiplayer game comes out today servers die immediately yeah that's not just bugs though right that's capacity typically there's a

lot of things they're just not ready for the spike they probably don't want to spend for it right probably they're like, look, after the first week, this game is going to have 100,000 people online all the time, but the first day it'll be a million. Do we really spend 10 times as much on infrastructure as we need to support day one?

Do we let them suffer for the first 12 hours? That sounds so... It's because you have a background in this kind of stuff, but that, as a layman, that never crossed my mind. It's like like if they were prepared for that big rush they basically built be building you know a gigantic stadium for all the people like in Pokemon Go who came out the first week and then will never open it again I'm still playing Pokemon Go I'm still catching them I have not played in months at this well you Well, you've got to catch them all. Not back into it. It's a social game for me. So my wife plays Pokemon,

and we'll just go out and take walks and catch Pokemon together. It's more of a social fun exploration. I played a lot of Pokemon when it first came out. It got old to me because there wasn't any multiplayer functionality that I found rewarding. I played it now and then. When Pokemon Go came out, I was like the guy who didn't like Pokemon Go.

And I still don't. But what I do like is giving my kid my phone and driving around in the golf cart. And there's no Pokemon by my house. I guess it's just not densely populated enough. But if we go to the nearby neighborhood, he can start catching them. And Colin gets excited when he catches one he hadn't caught before. And he's gotten to the point where he's like, Rattata, keep driving.

Isn't it sad? The same thing at a park. All these kids came by, right? And the kids are like, oh, I don't want to catch Rattata again. It's not good when you've got kids saying that. I don't even know. To me, I'm like, catch it. He's right here, right?

You can turn him into candy or something. I don't really know. By the way, is my camera freezing? It's freezing on my end it is it's it's periodically i went to way too like i i ruined the game for myself because i treated it like i was a day laborer at a sweatshop and my hands were going to be cut off if i didn't catch enough pidgeys that day because i started off that game like i got to level 25 in like two weeks which doesn't sound like a lot but i went fast because i was all just i'm gonna catch every pidgey i come across i'm gonna catch every ritada

i'm gonna catch every pokemon i see get all the xp and then evolve with the little double xp egg and then by the time i got to like a high enough level where i was throwing like ultra balls at pidgeys and they were just you know resting out of them with no worries whatsoever i was like this is bullshit i've pretty much cornered myself in this game so that now through nobody's fault but my own i have leveled to the point that even the worst pokemon is so difficult to catch that this is not fun like and there's you went so hard at pokemon like i i felt like i was playing too. I felt like I was making grocery trips and gas station visits that weren't required.

I was getting up. I would wake up early, but it wasn't like I was up. It was like, oh, I kind of woke up here at 5.30am. I'm not up for the day, but I could go out and get breakfast. And on the way, I could catch some Pokemon. And I would.

I was shocked every time we compare our Poke decks and he was so far ahead of me like I was 20 or I was 18 and he's 22 I'm 21 and he's 25 and it's like exponentially harder yeah you ruined it for yourself I did I went a little hard on like the first couple days and then slowed down and it's

been a lot more fun yep that's what I should have done I did the same thing with Skyrim like every time I want to jump back into a character for skyrim now i can't think of anything other than if i start this new character i know that i have to spend seven hours making iron daggers to get my armor level to the right thing and i am just not willing to put all that time in exactly and then oh i I guess I gotta make quite a few leather bracers too. Those grindy things I don't like. Even though I like Pokemon Go, I think

just because it gets me outside. I have a hoverboard Segway, so I just scoot around and I'm that guy in the neighborhood hatching eggs and catching them. But those grindy games just drive me bananas. That's why I couldn't do Destiny. I just couldn't do the same raid over and over and over and over and over

to get the light emotes and stuff. It just was not fun. I maxed it out. I maxed the armor skill out by making those daggers. For those listening who don't know what the fuck we're talking about, in this game, if you want to have master level ironworking skills or armor skills, I think maybe it is, so you can make the pimpest of pimp armors in the game. You have to get to

level 100 at that skill. And the most efficient way to do so is by making iron daggers because the requirement for making an iron dagger is very low compared to the reward of XP that you get per iron dagger. It's much better than making a bunch of cuirasses for example, which cost a lot of

iron and get another shit. So you're just sitting there for hours ting ting ting ting ting ting making these things and literally hours of just clicking a button over and over until you can make some fancy and basically trying to find supplies i did the the first the first character i made i didn't even finish i just gave up off the first character because i was like well that was the character that i killed every blacksmith in skyrim because i didn't know they wouldn't come back. And so trying to upgrade my armor was literally

me going out like a working Joe trying to find iron in them hills so I could get iron and then go smelt it into an ingot and then take that ingot and make a shitty little dagger. You could make a real iron dagger from scratch faster than that takes.

Did you guys ever play Oblivion? Do you remember how you could level up from sprint? You could also level up from jumping, so your first couple hours is ball, ball, ball. I got that beat, my friend. I took rubber bands and put them on my controller so that I was always swimming in a circle. Put that guy in a lake and left the thing running

for days. When I came back, I had Lance Armstrong. You get the rubber band thing, you sneak while somebody's asleep, left the thing running for days. When I came back, I had Lance Armstrong for a temperature. You get the rubber band thing, you sneak while somebody's asleep, and it still gives you the points. You just walk into the wall for like an hour and a half, two hours, you get maximum sleep. You can also max out your illusion magic if you just did

illuminate in the middle of a field, where you just go, illuminating nothing but getting XP. I played Skyrim way differently than you guys, and I really enjoyed it. I went in a straight line, I killed the main dragon, and then I won.

And I'm like, what is wrong with you people? Like, I beat the game. There are other ways to do it that are fun, because, like, the grinding was not fun. But I did it the way Woody did it, and that was fun. I did it that way, but it was not fun but i did it the way i did it i did it the way woody did it and that was fun i did it that way but it was also fun when i did every other side quest and then at the very end did the main quest because you're basically just a god among men at that point like summoning wizards and and skull demons as they're like you know you're getting like the little

prompt from the character like oh i'm balgruff be careful this one has a knife and you're getting the little prompt from the character like, oh, I'm Balgruuf. Be careful. This one has a knife. And you're standing there with flames coming off your shoulders because you're already like, sir, do you know that I'm the president of the Assassin's Guild? I'm the chief thief in this realm, and I'm also the president of the College of Winterhold. Do you know who you're talking to at this point? You've been to the underworld at this point

and killed Daedric princes and shit and collected their souls, but this random thief is trying to muscle in on your territory. I haven't done any of that shit, but I like the game. I beat the main... I killed those dragons with a bow, I think, maybe. It's a fun game.

It doesn't care. Because I'm live streaming, right? 10,000 people are like, oh, you got to go do this. You got to do that. Like, why would I? I already won. Like, I'm the best Skyrim player to have ever Skyrimed. You guys spend a lot of time, and I want it quicker.

All right, guys. Well, unfortunately, it's about time for me to bounce. I've got a dinner engagement that I'm a little bit late to. But thank you for having me on the show. I appreciate it. Yeah, thanks for coming by, man. Thanks for coming on, man. Anytime. Y'all have a good rest of the show. Where can people find you?

Oh, yeah. Tell us where to find us. YouTube.com slash Drifter if you want to seek Call of Duty, Battlefield, Overwatch, a bunch of different shooters, analysis, occasional political opinion, live streams, and fat dogs. Very nice. You can do a lot of mastered yes and playing very well uh i'm a fan so yeah really excited for modern warfare

remastered you want to break out my tiny little scorpion and go palette people to death absolutely all right thanks for coming on man good to see you let me tell everyone a little bit about me undies as drifter leaves us. You wear underwear every day. That's 365 days a year, rain or shine. You need it to be extraordinary without an insane price tag. MeUndies understands this, and that's why they've created the world's most comfortable underwear. Luxury at half the retail price you'd find anywhere else.

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You beat them too often, and they don't get the home they deserve. It'll be that pair of underwear that every time you see them come out of the dryer, you're like, yeah, it's going to be a good day today. We're starting off on the right foot. That's how I feel when I put on a pair of hot MeUndies. MeUndies is actually better. I wanted to bring up Halloween since that is coming up.

Last year, I know you guys didn't get to dress... Kyle was a priest, if I recall, and Woody was a lumberjack. Is that right? The brawny man. The brawny man. I was pretty close. We went very low effort last year. Yes, we did. Low effort. So this year, Melissa and I were trying to think of something good

because she gets very, very into it. And what we decided on is i'm going to be ramsey bolton and she is going to be reek and i'm going to i guess be dragging her around this big fest they have like a big uh in central west end in st louis they have a huge huge halloween party where thousands of people go and walk around the streets in this area, and they have big costume contests and a bunch of Bud Light tents and all that shit. Last year we went as the zombie things

and everybody was like, oh man, that's really good. But there was a ton of great shit there. It wasn't just low-effort costumes. Very high-effort professional-looking stuff. The plan is, get me all decked out. I'm not going to shave, so I'm going to be bearded, Ramsey. Don't fucking care. I'm going to have my cape, all of that.

She is going to be in her tattered rags and carrying around a Flayed Man banner. And then we found some, like, plastic chain links that I can hold like a leash almost as I pull her around as I'm cruel Ramsey all night. First impressions. I like it a lot. I like it a lot. Kinky.

I like it a lot. I like tandem costumes. One thing I've always wanted to do is, and that's why I had the priest costume, I always want to be the priest and then have my girlfriend be an altar boy. I always thought that would be hilarious. Haven't ever pulled that one off.

But I like tandem costumes, so I'm definitely on board. When I see a guy with a girl on a chain leash i instantly think it's a bs bsdm am i saying yeah that's it oh yeah that's it i feel like you're pulling my leg what is it i am sadomasochism bsdm nope tell me out bdsmM. BDSM, okay. This is a quick way to remember it. Bondage something sadomasochism. What's the D?

Bondage? Sadomasochism. No, D is bullshit. What is it? Oh, domination? Dominate? That makes sense. Whatever. whatever but um another thing she's going to do is you know the box that has theon's cock in it

that shows up at um theon's dad's house basically um she's going to make one of those she's going to make a cock box and then out of her like professional makeup supplies of latex and shit she's going to make a rotten looking like black like, black and purple and green, like, rotted dick for that box. That's great. And that'll be pretty fun. I don't know how to carry it off all night long, but the idea of sausage on a fork that you could bite from is attractive to me. We were thinking about that, but I don't want to be carrying around food all night. Sausage, right?

Yeah, I don't want to be carrying around a piece of sausage. And it'll get really yucky. And it's not i looked at bow and arrows on the internet today trying to find one and it is there is no middle ground between complete toy bow and arrow that's this long and shoots a little suction cup and 400 80 pound compound string like there's like no middle ground i'm trying to find like a reasonably sized bow and arrow that looks okay to carry around as Ramsey. And the minimum of the least acceptable ones are like $80 that I'd have to spend. At this point, I'm not an archer.

I will get no use from this at any point. If I become an archer, I'm going to buy something better than this. I have the $80 bow that you'd need. And you wouldn't want it afterwards. $80 bow that you'd need and you wouldn't want it afterwards like it's it's a child's bow and it shoots the arrows so weakly that sometimes it bounces off those little like hey target things yeah like we bought the target too and and uh it's just like this really sucks like you you have to get something better if you want to shoot it. The bow that you need is the Micmac bow.

The Micmac bow. Now, does that look like Ramsey's bow at all? Exactly like Ramsey's bow. It's what Ramsey's bow is based on. It's a Canadian tribal bow. M-I-C-M-A-C. Micmac. The Micmac. You'll immediately recognize the uh the sort of the sort of double bow aspect

of it how much is a mcmack bow well you'd have to have some sort of primitive archer make you one you know i don't think they like sell these exporting goods so you'd have to find old forest joe who like makes these things out of a solid piece of you or some shit I think isn't that what an English bow would be out of anyway yes yeah um I don't think you're gonna be able to get a mic mac in time for Halloween no you need that primitive survivalist guy on on YouTube

to make you one man that guy's impressive I watched his sling video the other day and I expected him and it's like cut after cut after cut of him like launching it so you don't have to wait around for him to do stuff and i was like okay there'll be 10 attempts 20 attempts 30 attempts no there's like 80 attempts until you see him getting good and then you see him getting better and then you see him getting kind of good and then at the end you're like he did this until he was good enough to actually kill something with it because at the end he'll be using his homemade bow to shoot a target um that's like chest size from 25 yards or something

and the arrows are sticking in or the the the the rocks from the sling are hitting uh whatever his target was pottery or something i think he like at one point he like stood up like a half dead log and it was he was like pegging that every time but that's really like you're totally right because you can notice in the videos like it starts out you know high noon the sun is up there and then by the time he's throwing the last sling you can tell like hours have gone by of him just out in the woods trying this shit he and brave wilderness those are my two favorite youtube channels right now i would like to talk to that guy we should we should try to get on that.

The primitive technology guy, the one who doesn't speak, he's wearing just like shorts and that's it. And he's out there, I believe if he's filming his own stuff, I have an enormous amount of respect for him. If he doesn't have like his girlfriend, his wife, his fellow survivalist friend out there

setting up cameras for him, then he is on another level because not only is he doing an incredible job at what he's creating with like making the kiln making the shelters making the tools himself like he chops down these the the wood he the tree he chopped down to make that bow by hand was chopped down with an axe that he also made by hand. By hand. He doesn't start with a saw. He starts with his fucking fingernails and he breaks something down. He's playing real life Minecraft.

Step one, punch a tree. Until it falls down. Yeah. It's shit like that. You'll see him chopping the trees down with his primitive stone axe and stuff like that. But then his filming is excellent. It's very, very good. It's better than what we saw from Les Stroud.

Yeah. It's better than that. It's better than a lot of survival TV shows. I would argue that it might be better than Bear Grylls. It's enormously more substantive. Now, hang on. It's enormously more substantive than Bear Grylls, but it can't compete with his entertainment

value across a broad audience. It just can't because he's all like... That's subjective. I don't know. I am engaged and riveted by primitive technology, whereas Bear Grylls, I'm just critical and angry. It absolutely is subjective,

but what I'm saying is that a larger audience I agree with you. I think this guy on YouTube is what's educational and substantive. When you watch that shit, you get a sense of what it really takes to do the things. You see his hands in the mud scoring clay to punch the holes

for his kiln. And when that kiln was done I expected it to be kind of half-assed. The flames were coming through those holes. his kiln. And when that kiln was done, I expected it to be kind of half-assed. The flames were coming through those holes. Roaring. It was roaring like a furnace, which is what a kiln is. I wonder if he has many efforts that end up on the cutting room floor,

because that would impress me too. If he made a kiln and was like, all right, this is my first effort, but I don't put shit on my YouTube channel. I put gold on it. So I'm going to do this all again tomorrow but learn from this one that no one will ever see. I read his WordPress because he has, like, a WordPress website up that kind of gives, like, a brief synopsis of what he's doing. Like, really his only point seems to be, like, hey, I'm just sharing my hobby with you guys, and this is a really fun hobby.

You should look into survivalism yourself. I think he's monetized. He better fucking be because he's making he's got like 200 million views on his channel. I saw a comment the other day. They're like, dude you gotta monetize this. You've already lost hundreds of thousands of dollars. That was the comment.

I just thought to myself like maybe he's got a store or something like that. I don't know anything about the guy. What would he sell? Outdoor supplies, survivalist things, right? Things he doesn't use. Here's a knife. If you use it, you're a sissy.

You're absolutely right. Yeah, I didn't even catch on to your little joke at first. It's like, what the fuck would he sell? I guess his videos. That's what he needs. He could sell those shorts because he's like shirtless in the woods, sell? I guess his videos. That's what he needs. He can sell those shorts because that's about it. He's like shirtless in the woods, right? Here's a belt and some shorts.

What he does well in like the filming of it, to go back to that for a sec, is like he'll show like I'm going to make an atlatl or however you say that. That like it's a spear thrower. Ah, yeah. From ancient civilizations where like you have the like stick that comes back almost like a thrower, almost like a lacrosse stick or something. I think the L is silent.

In the nook of it, you throw a spear and he didn't just show like, this is me shaving this. It shows him like good shots of where he clearly had to go put the camera, aim it at a tree

when he's like, that's the tree I'm going to use. And then he makes like 50 edits of him showing like first slice, little bit comes off. Then it's close up. Second slice shows him like cutting exactly where he's cutting. Like it's actually descriptive and showing you what you would

need to do. Like it doesn't help as far as like what the fuck kind of tree is that? I don't know. I'm not a survivalist. He's in Australia. Well then it's not helpful as much as I thought. No, I've also, I read somewhere where they were like, just keep in mind that anything and everything he does um is australia specific sometimes i guess i didn't say that right that some things that he does are australia specific as far as what he's doing but thing like he's got a stick that helps throw spears which are of course

just more sticks and you'd think that would be an easy project but there was a lot that went into stick throwing sticks like i'm very impressed by that guy he makes amazing videos that was one of the most early early weapons that humans came up with i think the first was the sling um i know in civ 6 that's the first one you get you just start out and you can use this you can you can make a slinger but um i think that that at at thing thing was one of the really early weapons that man had. You can really chunk it hard. I've used one before. You fucking fling those things.

Really? I think the at-at-at was like the big thing in a lot of areas of the world until some guy came around and was like, dude, this bow and arrow is pretty dope. And they're like, yeah, you're right. My friend had a modern one. He had a modern one that was all like,

I don't know, fiberglass and plastic and shit. And we were just slinging these darts so hard that I was thinking we'd practice instead. I really like Taylor's like 10,000 BC lingo. Like, dude, this new bow is dope. You should check me out, G. Hey, how are you guys in this tribe? How are you guys throwing your sticks? Well, we have these atlatl.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh. I didn't mean to laugh at you guys. But the tribe across the ridge, the Borg borgs yeah the borgs i know your rivals they have this thing a bow and arrow and oh door-to-door cave-to-cave bow and arrow salesman that was probably the first entrepreneur he figured it out went around spread the wealth first entrepreneur was like a prostitute yes you like sex she can do sex it took chimps like half a day to start prostituting themselves once the concept of currency was introduced to them like once you

showed chimps hey this little token right here you can put this in this machine and grapes or strawberries or fruit will fall out here's a bunch of money for all you apes let's see what happens immediately almost female monkeys started prostituting themselves for grape coins and, like, strawberry waivers and whatnot. And it's like, wow, that really is the world's oldest profession. Like, that's exactly...

Then they started complaining that the females weren't getting as many grape tokens as the men for an equal amount of sex, and there was a whole meltdown. The first wage wedge. The first wave feminism. Now that's a really interesting study. I know that Taylor is a big fan

of monkeys. I want to get a monkey involved in the show because his passion for monkeys fires me up. I want to see his eyes light up when he gets a monkey. If we get a monkey involved with something here. Can we get a monkey? Ship Woody a monkey to have him send to me yes it'll be here forever there'll be a footage of me opening a window and throwing the chip out

i'll just get a smelly box that's not moving it definitely used to be a monkey couldn't quite outsmart your way out of this box, could you? You know, Bobo. Bobo. Yeah, I do like monkeys a lot. If one of you guys had a monkey, I would be more jealous about it because they'd be like, well, this sucks. They have a monkey.

I don't even get to play with it. I'd want a capuchin monkey. I don't want a chimp. Too, you know, too much energy, too high energy there. I don't want to haveimp. Too high energy there. I don't want to have a finger ripped off. I want a little capuchin. Who knows where the cards lie? He knows that I'm the big ape in the room.

And that he just wants to be my friend. And maybe try and pilfer something while I'm not looking. That's fine. I expect a little bit of thievery when you're dealing with monkeys. Everyone should. They don't understand morality. They have thumbs and don't have morals. That's a dangerous combo but that's very true i never thought yeah all animals would be getting

up to way more shit if they had thumbs that's why the raccoon is so tricksy yes the raccoon is uh what are the people called like trash trash pandas? Trash pandas. Yeah. Those are really cool animals. I'm so fascinated by them. I want one as a pet. I feel like it's on the same level as a monkey as a pet, you know, a shoulder monkey.

What do you call them again? A capuchin monkey? An organ grinder monkey? The ones where there would be that guy from uh you know austria taylor why grind so much about monkeys oh wait wait is that the little monkey who sits by the music box he's finding the organ yes right so like you knew a lot about dinosaurs because you had a passion for them as a kid why do you know a lot about monkeys? I had a passion for monkeys as a kid. I thought that monk so the st. Louis Zoo has It's gigantic

It is huge and we went there all the time when I was little and they have this big thing called the monkey house where it's Just you walk in and it's this gigantic Building and you walk in and all of a sudden you just use it smells horrible you get used to it Yeah, you hear like there's nothing but Like hooting and shit and you get used to it. But you hear like there's nothing but whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, like hooting and shit. And you walk around and it's just, you know, hundreds of different kinds of monkeys. And as a kid, I thought that was so cool walking around and just being like,

man, these are like all the smart animals. And it's not like on TV where, you know, you can't really understand how smart they are. You can stand here and watch these chimpanzees and you can tell they're communicating. Like when you watch a bunch of alligators futz around in their exhibit at no point am i like man i wonder what that one's saying to that one like no because that's not happening because they're dumb dinosaurs when you look at monkeys you're like there's there's an inner working going on here there's a whole hierarchy there's like not a culture that's a little bit too loose but there's a set of norms that these monkeys abide by and it's neat to watch animals that are still way, way dumber than us, but

seeing that low threshold of intelligence that it does take to formulate a somewhat working society, if that makes sense. Monkeys are fascinating. I haven't looked into dinosaurs in a long time. I doubt much has changed. They have. Monkeys are super interesting. They have feathers now. Chimpanzees and capuchins are very and lemurs new world and old world monkeys i don't discriminate

have you heard that dinosaurs had feathers i don't i choose not to believe that it seems to be a prevailing opinion based on based on my exposure to dinosaurs well some definitely did i thought they'd known that for a long time. Yeah, they did. I feel like during my adult lifetime, dinosaurs went from just lizards and stuff to pre-bird. And now they're like, right, right. Yeah, if you watch birds, you can

predict a lot of dinosaur behavior. Dinosaurs don't roar. That's a thing I learned recently, that they had much more bird-like sounds and clucks and shit and they grunted maybe and uh but but no jurassic park roars if you look up like i think it's called like a hornbill stork okay maybe like if you look at some storks they look like dinosaurs like they move the way that you see dinosaurs move in jurassic park obviously that's not scientific but it's like

that's kind of what they had to be baseding it off of. They didn't watch an actual dinosaur. But it's neat. They brought them back from... They did. I forgot about that. That aging guy. And then Newman helped him escape. Yes. Nobody cares.

Fireweed. Fireweed. Yeah, I don't know. Dinosaurs got less cool. They went from monsters to birds. Yeah. I think they're still monsters. I don't know how close you've ever been to an ostrich.

They're terrifying. Are they? They are terrifying. Dude, you 1v1 with a motivated ostrich, it would be gruesome what he would do to you. Really? You would prefer a wild dog over an ostrich, it would be gruesome what he would do to you. Really? You would prefer a wild dog

over an ostrich, I think. The ostrich has these thumb claws that are, it's not a raptor claw or anything, but they're so big and they're stomping with their weight and slashing at you, and they'll slice you apart. It could open your guts or it could slash your face or your throat or something.

Think about this. What do you do to him? Are you really trying to hit that head that's the size of your fist that's floating around? Control the neck, right? With a knife on it? Sure. I think if you ever were to get his neck, if you ever were to grab it, that might be a thing. But when I've ran – they always lean their heads back and down, and they're really aggressive.

I've been around them and been afraid of them. Emus are a little of them emus are a little more emus are fun actually emus are little ostriches kind of yeah whatever i i don't i don't know the they seem big enough they're they're fun like like we we had that outdoor picnic thing and the emu like was eating the spaghetti and stuff like like eating all this all the food and it was really fun to pet the emu and like feed it. The kangaroo too. I've never met a nice bird. I maybe even still do have this thing about all birds being total dicks.

This one was cool. You saw we all met a nice bird one time, and you fucking killed it. You fucking killed it. She's talking about Henrietta. If Henrietta were bigger, she would have eaten you. Exactly. I don't think so. She would have cuddled with us and given us her warmth, because that's what she did during her life as a tiny bird she would sit

on your foot um she would uh she would come and sit really like if you're sitting in your hammock feet on the ground she would come and like sit on your foot to like share in the warmth so she could make contact with you she would always sleep like right by chiz or under chiz she would let you pet her if you were warm sized like compared to Henrietta, she would just eat you like a bug. I'd do a little saucer of water, and I was like, here you go, Henrietta. And she's drinking it out of my hand, like like tilting her head back to

swallow it. And we all loved her. And Woody was like, you know, I've never really killed anything before, if you know what I mean. Get the machete. Well, may as well just hack it a few times, break yourself into the whole process. It was a dull machete because Chiz chopped the dirt for a day.

Now that's true. I'm not letting anybody loose on this one. Chiz was out there killing the soil with his machete. Cutting the grass out there. That was funny. Why was he cutting grass again all right so we got to our campsite and there's this like these sprigs of forest grass and i'm gonna say are 12 18 inches tall coming up around the campsite around our feet it's not thick at all it's just

there you know and chis uses his machete to start like slashing at it in a downward slashing motion instead of palm flat with the earth, which would be like a lawnmower blade would swing. He's just slashing down at it like he's hacking jungle. Are there thick stems coming up you had to get? No, this is grass. If it's just grass,

the fastest way to do that is just find a switch and then just... You're missing the best part, though. He's hitting the dirt with every whack and dulling the blade um although i will say this i can tear a chicken's head off with like four fingers it's it's barely on there it's like it's like a whale or a pigeon like like you could i could take these two fingers and like like this is the chicken's head my index fingers i could go like this grab it and go and i could tear it right off. You never mentioned that on the trip. Well, everybody seemed down to let...

Now, the best way to do it, the cleanest way, the part which doesn't end it with a head in your hand is, of course, is to put the blade... Like, if this is its head, what I would have done

is put the blade on top and then would have taken a stick and hit it. But we didn't... The execution hour had come and we were all kind of like, the camera's rolling, and it was like, I'll hold it like this. We gotta kill this fucking bird!

I didn't want him to cut my fingers off. That was my number one priority. It's always my number one priority. I also didn't want to cut his fingers off. We shared that goal. I can tell you did. And yet, because of that, because of both of our fears of you cutting my fingers off,

Henrietta had to suffer the brunt of one, maybe two extra blows. But look, she was greasy anyway, so maybe she had it coming. Yeah, she didn't look like a very tasty bird. Well, I was pretty hungry by that point. So had we. Yeah, I think she will do that to you we were imagine if we had our own primitive youtube channel like you know here we are i don't really know what the fuck we're doing we're laying around preserving energy dying slowly and uh just chopping the grass and there's a structure

that we never quite finished. Oh yeah, I talked to Chiz the other day about this. He's like, he had been watching a lot of that survivalist guy's videos leading up to the trip and we were making fun of his shoes at the time, which he fully admits were ridiculous, but he was like, I went into that thinking that we were

going to build a big fancy shelter like they do on YouTube. Now, I went into it because it had been so long that we'd been talking about it. I had really lost the passion for it. I didn't want to build a big fancy shelter like they do on youtube now i went into it because it had been so long that we've been talking about i had really lost the passion for it i didn't want to build a shelter and while we could have perhaps fashioned a shelter if we spent all of our time doing it it still would have been a fucking shitty shelter and and we wouldn't have done it anyway because it wouldn't have been safe and uh it would have been it wouldn't have been any good it just wasn't going to work but he got out there and he starts chopping these trees down with a little tomahawk and he's got all these crooked trees laid in a bundle and i'm just like yeah

you go right ahead you build whatever you're going to build with that and i remember on the last day when we're leaving him like cutting those bundles of trees down and letting them lay down on the ground like we had used them for firewood and stuff. There was only one thing we built that we used, and that was the clothesline, so we could dry our shirts and stuff. It was the worst thing, worst decision I've made so consciously ever.

There were months of If you were to say, Woody, would you like to do another survival trip or another drinking episode? I would take the survival trip by far i would much rather do that but so much harder than just to drink for a night because a camping trip we should just do a camping trip and that way we've got a cooler of beer and we got hot dogs and then we still get all ruined it i have to drink on this thing. You're like, here. Then we still got the camaraderie and the campfire stuff

and some fun outdoor activities, which I think is what we were... The fun stuff to watch is anyway. It's not camping if you're not drunk. You just don't have our suffering. And I just don't want to suffer for so little money anymore. I just don't. So little money?

So little payoff? It wasn't that it was so little money it was so little payoff it wasn't it was so little money it was just that it was so much suffering like like the money's fine or whatever but it was just like wow that's like 12 times as much suffering as money instead and instead of just three or four or five i just i just didn't enjoy myself i don't like being dirty maybe i'm just a pussy right like like maybe i'm just too metrosexual for my own good. I really want to be clean. Fish posh. Smelling, clean feeling. I want to, like, rub my hand here and not feel grease or grime or grit.

Like, I just want to be clean. And that was just not able to be. You never notice how great it is to be clean until you're very dirty. Especially the worst situation, stickiness. You never realize how unpleasant stickiness is until you're sticky and you realize there's not an immediate solution that that was the best shower he'd ever had in his life he said there was nothing more relieving or refreshing um than that shower after a week of being in the woods and i believe him um he didn't

bathe the whole time not a bit not even that's right he did which is horrific and and look i'm not gonna say that what do you look here's what happened is my view of what happened with the bathing situation is this and i would bet that if we asked patrick and chis they would they would well maybe they didn't see where woody was bathing but i went downstream where the water was very shallow i got on my knees knees like you're praying to, I don't know, some omnipotent power, as low as you can get. And I threw the water over my back and onto my body. And then I soaked completely up. And then I repeated the process of throwing the water until I was completely rinsed and scrubbed clean.

It meant that I had to get down in this really shallow, fast-running, cold-ass water. And it meant that my bath took a long time Woody got into some deep water but it was deep because the beavers lived there and part of beavers living there is that they shit there and so the bottom was full of like 8 inches I would

say right of silt very loose material on the bottom of that creek bed which was shit and as you were like walking in the shit, I noticed that it would be stirred up into the water. And so all of the water, the big pool that you were bathing in inevitably became a bit shitty. And,

and so despite the soap and the rinsing, when you got out, there was this micro film of shit on you at all times. I felt like, and yet, and yet you smelled 10 000 times better than chiz despite your micro shit coating yeah i would argue so even though i was above the dam and if i could do it again maybe i wouldn't have but uh the water still flowed it wasn't like

you know it wasn't stagnant yeah so i getting – it's constantly being fresh water flowing in. It's not like I'm bathing in the cloudy water that Kyle describes. No, cloudy water is downstream. Clean water is upstream. And that's – it's passing right by. That was my opinion of the bathing. Legs were all in the cloudy water. Well, but that wasn't the last thing I did, right?

The last step is go to the shallow water. Okay, you might have done good i might the thing that really just that that i was seeing that that i didn't want for myself was that your feet were squidging down into all that material and i was thinking like what if there's a broken beer bottle at the bottom of eight inches of beaver shit and like as you're compacting beaver shit you get to it and it slices your foot open inject the old samwise gamgee yeah you get to it and it slices your foot open, injecting you with... Like the old Samwise Gamgee. Yeah, you get the Samwise Gamgee. That really happened. I like that you know that.

I feel like beaver shit doesn't make up the... Running out for Mr. Frodo, stepped on the bottle, cut himself very badly. Yes. Very bad. Mr. Frodo! He can't swim. No, he can't swim. Because he stepped on a beer bottle. And he's a a beer bottle and he's a hobbit and he is a hobbit yeah you would think that those rubber feet would have given him some protection i really

considered that but i bet he wasn't wearing them for that shot probably not really needed them it would have slowed him down and i bet those rubber feet wet is probably not something they want to do yeah and it's like trying to walk in flippers but with your flippers under the water which is a little bit annoying probably not for woody i bet woody could be like i could even put flippers on my head and i could silt is not actually made up of beaver poop like you imply it is well i didn't say that well i don't know that it was silt i know what silt is but but like there was this base of material at the bottom of the creek. I don't know.

Poopy wood shavings? Yeah, he's making it out to be like, oh, Woody bathed in eight inches of poop, but it's like rotten leaves and the things that come from nature. And any other dead animal and fish and croc, it's the lowest point, right? So it's where all the sediment and dead things and rotten things are collected. I'm not saying it was necessarily like a dead pig carcass

in there, but there was definitely beaver shit and any other shit that would collect to the lowest point and silt and stuff. I just didn't think it was sanitary. It wasn't for me, but you were bathing and that was good and I left it alone. I think that it's good that Woody introduced

potentially new bacteria new viruses into his system because you know what happened his body just learned how to fight beaver shit ebola or e coli or whatever learned how to fight dead leaf syndrome and all of those horrible things that could be upcoming you don't know what the next thing's going to be trending on twitter that we all have to look out for zika can't be that popular forever so i'm my wife is texting me james o'keefe the whole chicago whatever video there's proof now he was hired by the trump campaign ten thousand dollars actually to make that video and it doesn't mean that all the interviews are fake or whatever but it's just really suspicious.

Or maybe that's a good cover story from the Clinton campaign. Yeah, maybe that's very convenient for the media, who really doesn't like to cover WikiLeaks or these videos at all. If it was totally bunk nonsense, objectively disproving, objectively disprovable, they would be airing it and showing, now this is where it's bullshit this is nonsense we have facts and figures and blah blah blah fact check this that and the other but they're not sure you're right it's me i'll tell you why if you're defending you're losing and uh hillary has done a really good job of just being like what no and then talking about what she

wants whereas trump tends to re-litigate it again and again and again. What? No. All those women are crazy. All this, all that. He'll talk about stuff and try to change your mind. I've learned a while ago. For me, it's you can't change the internet's mind. If they think a thing, just move the fuck on.

You're not changing their mind. But Trump re-litigates all the time. Hillary just moves on and tries to let it die. Well, OK, I don't want to go back to politics too much, but just to put it out there. Trump is always under attack because he does a lot of stupid things and the media spends a disproportionate amount of time critiquing his malfeasances as opposed to Hillary's. And so when you say that Hillary doesn't have to spend a lot of time repositioning herself, having to overcome all these things, it's because the media is doing a huge part of her job for her. I follow all of the mainstream media sites, especially a lot more in the last few months, because I really wanted to follow their articles online, see the tone of what's being said,

what they present, how they present it, what stories are not touched on, what are. And it's very apparent to anyone who's watching that CNN, MSNBC, these networks, ABC, CBS, they have a distinct bias, a distinct bias of always attacking Trump and not overly defending Hillary, but making sure that narrative never treads too close to her dangerous line of corruption, because it's much easier to defend if it never gets brought up. And that is what i have pulled from it like of course you can always say donald trump does stupid stuff and he really litigates of course he does he's stupid with that he'll go oh you know this issue that i should really move past let's talk about it for seven more minutes and i'm going to explain everything poorly you know a good example is that um the miss universe that he called fat, right?

He spent the next week defending just how fat she was and how he was in the right and all that stuff. And the media couldn't help but cover it. And every time the media covered it, Trump would talk about it again. And he just kept it going. And he lost a lot of female votes, women votes because of that. Whereas Hillary doesn't make that mistake. But, yeah, there could be some bias in there too like i've seen it for sure i've seen some of the bias and it's frustrating to me because i

it's like damn it i tried to defend you and now look at you you know the the one i bring up a lot is cnn editing the footage of hillary like collapsing uh can't do that doesn't tell the right story but anyway also Trump hired this guy to make a hit piece film paid him $10,000 we'll see if that's true even if he did it doesn't mean that it's not true

Washington Post and NBC both picked up the story so it's not like it's Huffington Post it's some mainstream stuff let's not like it's Huffington Post. It's some mainstream stuff. Let's not go back to politics. I'm with you on that. I mean, you could bring up the fact that the Washington Post is owned by Jeff Bezos, and he really loathes Trump.

He's a Hillary Clinton supporter, but whatever. Washington Post looks really left-leaning, right? Their stories are always crazy that way. But they're not... really left-leaning right you know their stories are always crazy that way but they're not like the drudge report for example which tends to publish stuff that's silly they usually on target but left lean I don't trust the drudge reports more an aggregator if I understand I very rarely go there just to kind of see what that far right people are seeing like what they're

clicking on but yeah I did yeah i like i wouldn't if someone said hey here's a great source from uh drudge report i'd just have to be like no because i would not feel basically the way i think about it is like if i'm trying to convince someone of something would i feel comfortable sending them this is a source no i would not feel comfortable sending someone cnn msnbc um drudge report umbart. Good God, Breitbart is just an arm of Trump at this point. Like, I wouldn't feel good using any of those sources because they're very flagrantly biased. It's not politics exactly, but news is frustrating to me. And my wife put it really well. She's like, I'm tired of opinion-based news. And people will say things like, I don't mean to pick

on Fox exclusively, but they'll be like, well, Bill O'Reilly's not the news. He's the opinion section. And Hannity's not the news. He's this. But I feel like everybody is getting their news from opinion-based stuff. And that opinion, I mentioned some right ones. Stephen Colbert, Trevor

Noah? Rachel Maddow. Who's the, I'm looking for the new Daily Show guy. Is it Trevor Noah? Is that Trevor Noah? John Stewartdow. Who's the – I'm looking for the new Daily Show guy. Is it Trevor – Trevor Noah. Is that Trevor Noah? John Stewart. Okay. Whatever. Like those guys on the left, the guys on the right.

People are getting informed by opinion-based news, I think, at least as much as they're getting informed by news that aspires to be unbiased. And, yeah, so, like, I don't know. Opinion-based news is where everybody's going nowadays and I don't think it's healthy. That's all. Because it's more palatable. You can just read a headline and be like,

oh, you know what? I'm not feeling as good about this election. How about I pop on over to MSNBC and just read a couple of times? Oh yeah, yep. All my biases are confirmed. Hey, you know, Trump can't be this bad. let me hop on over to bright part.com ah as i suspected i'm right like that's that's all that it is like you have to actually do some due diligence in all of this and actually put a

concerted effort into researching it because otherwise it's just misinformation and everybody's gonna fucking it's i don't want to talk about that anymore. I've got a terrible topic. I laid out new grass seed today. It has been like a multi-day. Oh, shit. For me to blue? It is like Kentucky 31, which I believe to be a tall fescue variant. It is a fescue. I nailed it.

Dude, so I bought a seeder for my tractor. It holds like 700 pounds. So I bought a seeder for my tractor. It holds like 700 pounds. My original idea was to overseed my grass. Overseeding doesn't mean too much seed. It means you put seed on top of existing grass so that it grows in nicer and fuller and stuff. And I was like, all right.

I don't need it, need it. As a matter of fact, the grass seems to be getting a little greener with each year I own it, which is kind of nice. An old set of owners came by. They were driving creepy around the yard and stuff, and they're like, do you own this place? And I'm like, yeah. And they said, we built the Game of Thrones room. I'm just quoting them, because that's what we call it. But they put that addition on, and we talked to him for a while. And he asked me how I got the grass so green. And I was like, I don't know. I just cut it. Cut it furiously. seven times a day he said that it's greener than it ever was when they were there they also had miniature horses which probably was hell on the grass but um i wanted to overseed it's 14 acres we were only going to seed like 10

of it because some of it we let grow tall and some of it there's buildings on and stuff. How much do you think it costs to seed 10 acres? I mean, with what kind of grass? The cheapest tractor supply grass you can find. Oh, $60. $250. $5,000. I opted not to do it. I was like, you know what?

I'm going to buy $100 worth of grass. We're going to experiment, right? Because the back of the, I don't know if you saw it on the flying video. We had the behind our house graded, and we had to kind of wait until fall to replant it, so we did that. And then we overseeded like a little section, the front yard. And it's like, if this comes up gorgeous, then maybe next fall we'll make a decision about doing either another part of the yard or the entire yard.

If nothing happens, then we'll have saved $5,000. We could have taken dollar bills and just tilled them in and made it just as green. You know what I wish you would do out there? And I bet one day you'll progress to this. I wish you would plant it with wheat. I wish you would sow wheat and grow a crop of wheat and then take the crop in and make your own bread that's pretty cool actually i would like to see you make your own brand of bread and we could you could ship that to us and we could eat it to keep

ourselves from getting too drunk on the next drinking episode no what is what is prime love what if i make beer out of the hops or something if people make beer out of the hops or something? What if I make beer out of the hops or something? I already know half of what I need. You could drop some barley, and that could be an ingredient in your beer. Every time I see that Samuel Adams commercial where they've got that, he's like, most beer companies only use a dash of hops. Here at Sam Adams, we use this huge fucking heaping double handful of hops. And he goes, and I'm like, yeah, that's

why your beer tastes like shit, because you use a double handful of the bitter part of the beer. I hate Sam Adams with a passion. If I could find that waitress who dumped that bottle of Sam Adams in our cheese dip, I'd spit in her face right now. Ruined my dinner.

Yeah, I remember that. she was like mixing all these cheeses we're in we're at a fondue restaurant and it's like this is gonna be great and then she pours a beer in our otherwise fantastic food keep in mind it's me joe and woody none of us drink and she like you kind of skipped over the cool part like like she didn't just mix some cheeses she put all these really cool cheeses into this hot plate and stirred them together, and they were getting... Every time she'd add something else to the pot, it was like, my stomach's rumbling.

Like, ooh, it just got a little better. Ooh, some Wisconsin cheddar. Oh, yeah. The king of cheddars. Yeah, the king of cheddars, you know? And then she's like, and a bottle of Sam Adams, and she didn't pour it. There was some sort of mechanism, the way I remember it, where she just upended the bottle into this mechanism, and then went on to do something else, and the beer's just glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, and for a split second, I was like of the opposite. It was like should I save it? It's already ruined you know even a third of a beer in cheese who puts beer and cheese you guys are Wrong on this because beer and cheese is very common like as far as those like

It's drinking beer. We don't drink beer. No. I'm just saying that like the same beer that tastes like cheese i'm just saying like i don't love red wine but when i have burgundy mushrooms which is mushrooms sauteed with butter and red wine it's really really good i'm not eating it like oh man that red wine this is so fucking great you're just you're enjoying the entirety of the flavors and the wine happens to go well with the cheese sorry go ahead red wine and cooking tastes very good but red wine in a glass is this bitter thing you have to force down i i didn't want that beer in my cheese no one took a second dinner at the capitol grill which was delicious i didn't want that beer in my cheese that was great just imagining your three faces

suddenly become sullen and your eyes just oh as you see her upend this beer into what you thought was going to be a delicious treat. I'd never seen such a big thing of melty cheese, and it really looked good to me. And I was really into it. And then she poured that beer in there. And she might as well have, like, flicked a booger. Yeah. You were on the same page. So close.

She might as well have stirred it with her hand like that scene in Vacation where the... I'm not sure I would have found urine that much more distasteful than the Sam Adams. I've had urine and it's not. Urine is better than that Sam Adams.

See? You're talking about Bud, I assume. I'm just joking. Yeah yeah i don't know she just ruined it and and to look at it like cheese has a certain kind of purity and texture and consistency like you can picture a melted cheese it's thick and yummy and gooey and just sinfully awesome and then you put beer in it and it turns into like i don't know like a slime very good cheese or it tasted uh if you liked beer then you would love this cheese it just tasted very very strongly of the cheese and it made every bite it was like it looks like good food it would be like if every bite of the delicious dessert actually tasted like the bad part of a pecan

you just like fuck it looks so good but fucking and i just kept eating more and more until i was just like upset and i don't remember whose idea it was to go for a second dinner but everybody was on board that was i'll never forget that to be fair like i've been to like melting pot and fondue places like that where they add beer to cheese i've never been never been somewhere where they upend a bottle of beer into it, because that seems like a lot. The places I've been to, they basically bring out their whole tray, and they've got the cheese in the thing, and they've got all the spices they add,

and then a sauce cup of beer that they add in the beginning to give it some liquid and sugar so it doesn't congeal. So you could be right. Maybe, I don't know. Yeah, they should have asked you about that. And then Woody was rude to the cab driver. That was a good night. Oh, what happened?

Well, he had a lot of anger. He earned it. He was supposed to be following Joe's cab. He didn't follow Joe's cab well. We got a bit lost. It wasn't that big of a deal. And then he didn't want to drop us off on the right side of the street. We were like, no, go down, make a U-turn, come back, and put us on the right side of this busy Boston downtown street, dude.

Don't put us on the wrong side of the street when the restaurant's right over there. Yeah, and it was a street that you couldn't, like, cross. Like, you couldn't just jaywalk across it. Like, we would have had to, like, go down a block or something. It was crazy. It was a major intersection. Yeah. And he was like, hey, where are we going?

And, like, I was really clear. I was like, follow that cab. And he was like, hey, where are we going? And I was really clear. I was like, follow that cab. We don't know exactly how to get there. You have to keep up with that cab. And he stopped at a yellow light, which now I hate doing sign motives to this, but I think he did it so it would cost more. I think they stop at every yellow light is this free fucking money. Every time someone's sitting back there, my fare is just going up.

The name of the game is to have people in this at the largest percentage of the night as I can. So he stopped at a yellow and he lost the other cab. And now he's like, oh, so where do we go? We don't know. Like, I didn't even know the name of the restaurant. Like, follow the other cab was the only directions we had, and you stopped at a yellow

so that you could intentionally lose them and i i didn't like the cab driver anymore woody woody started a real scene in the lobby of the w day uh he comes to my hotel i don't even know this yeah so so i'm staying at the w uh woody's meeting me downstairs in the lobby i come down the elevator i think i'm taking him up to my room we're gonna hang out there for a bit until the thing we've got to do happens. And the guy from the airport shuttle thought Woody owed him $20 for some bags moved around or placed somewhere or something. And Woody was positive that that $20 had already been taken care of in some way or another. I remember that clearly.

And so we're in this standoff where we're standing in the elevator woody and i and the man won't let our elevator doors shut and i'm getting mad and i'm getting much madder than woody is i'm like to fight him i'm ready to fight i'm like you're not gonna mess with like my moving about the world right now motherfucker like you're gonna get I was ready to Fight I was like we should just fight don't give him $20. Let's fight. Let's just do it right here I'm staying at this hotel. He's clogging up an elevator all these witnesses are here All we need to do is like bump into him a little and I'll scream my eye and then you just kick the shit out of him. Do this.

For what it's worth, the guy was smaller than either Kyle. Either Kyle or I, let alone Kyle and I, would have won this fight. I didn't want to double team. Don't get me wrong. I just felt like someone needed to hit him.

I was happy to hit him. I wanted you to hit him. Someone needed to hit him though. I was mad because he was like, give me my money. Give me my money. And you're like, you've got your money. It was like he was robbing you. And meanwhile, like.

Yeah, whoever sent me on the trip, I don't know if it was Machinima or EA or whatever, had paid for my limo to the, it's not a real limo. It's like a shuttle service. But, you know, paid to my service to get me to the hotel. And then he wanted to charge me again. And it's like but you've been paid like whatever and on top of that his service was really bad like he was maybe 90 minutes late something like that and uh rather than you know how they go like from like stop to

stop to stop at the airport like picking people up he did another lap around the airport and the other people in the van were yelling at him too. They're like, come on. Like, you're really, all of us are waiting in here. You've got a two-thirds full van, and you need to have it completely, so you're going to do another lap in the airport? And the nature of the airport was that was like 40 minutes

onto the ride or something. It was a lot of stuff. So hours and hours have gone by. I'm at the end of my rope by the time we leave the airport. And then when we get there, now he's trying to double dip on the payment. And I just felt really wrong. But in the end, I gave him $20. I was so – I was not happy.

I was a little mad at you. I was like, no, no, don't give him that money. Like this is bullshit. It's rare that I see such bullshit in my face like that. But I was like, this is bullshit. This guy is being way too aggressive, way too rude. And let's just fight. It's time to fight.

This is when it happens. It's when someone is aggressive and rude and they're not allowing me to leave the situation. And that's what was happening. I want to go up in the elevator. He won't let that happen. He's not in my face, but he's much closer than I want him. He's being aggressive. He might have cursed.

I know I probably cursed. And I was ready to throw down. I was like, let's fucking fight here at the W. So Kyle's principled on this thing. I was like, so how does this go down? One option was just to push him out of the elevator hard enough and try to get it to go up. And if he comes back, now he's

coming at me when I'm aggressive. I'm like, get away from me! That's what I'm feeling now. You're in my space, get back. If he comes back again, then he is now the aggressor because I just want him away. I'm like, get away from me. My main problem isn't what you're saying, doing, isn't your smell or

that nasty look on your face it's that i can't my purse i felt like he was kidnapping me a little bit by not allowing my elevator to move on and that just infuriated me to no end i we should have fought him and in my head i was like huh or i can make this whole thing go away for 20 bucks. And, you know, like this whole thing ends with that. I'd have torn up 100 to fucking push that guy. Yeah, I just like, it was like, man. And like, what goes down? What if we hit this guy? What if we beat him up?

If we win this, is there any way the cops look at us and say oh congratulations on your victory like i i feel like whoever wins is at fault you know even though i hear kyle's point we were semi-kidnapped by this whole thing and it was like oh or i could give the guy 20 bucks and this whole situation just ends and and that's what i did i don't know i i feel like i made the right call but it would have been great i remember what i said to him yeah there was there was the talk and then there was the posture both of it was like you're not getting what you want right you know it's like get the fuck out of this elevator may have been said like if that's not an accurate quote that's an accurate vibe something that i was so mad i i was like this shit done happened to me

you're not gonna fucking like hold me ransom right here for his 20 that he's saying he doesn't owe you and like i know you you you're not scamming this motherfucker out of 20 if you say he's been paid he's been paid and that's just concrete for me right away so i'm like all right you're a liar and a piece of shit now like as i look at this guy like not only are you holding me up but you're a liar and you're being way too aggressive i i i if i go back now i just like even older me you know five four or five years older i'm like if i could go back you know and look at young me and be like hey man this don't do that thing you're doing there that's that's no good just do this thing over here i'd be like fucking deck him hit him ear. You got to do it quick because Woody's about to pay him. Kick him in the balls, man.

He'll go down and you'll go up. Like, fucking just do it. Just this is Sparta, him right out of the elevator, and then the thing goes up. That'd be a great victory. I can still remember my heart. Like, just talking about this is pissing me off a little because I can still remember my heart was going. And it wasn't fear. It wasn't a fight.

It wasn't flight. It was fight. It definitely was. It was boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. All right. All right. This is going to go down. This motherfucker better stop.

He's fucking up. He's fucking up. That's what I'm really thinking. It's like what is he fucking thinking right now? One of the things going through my head. So I'm telling you, I wasn't lying. That thing was paid for. My name was on a list. As I'm waiting by the podium, she's like, oh, Wood got you etc like he was paid but I don't think he was lying

I think he was wrong right there's an intent difference there I think he felt like he wasn't paid that it wasn't that his motive was double-dipping that was his action I think but not his motive I think he was feeling like I'm gonna get paid for this. Probably so. I had some sympathy for him. You probably should have just given him the $20, but it still makes me angry even now.

I just felt like he was just... There are situations where we're just having a misunderstanding. And if we all calm down here, let's find the real answer here because there's no reason for us to be butting heads if the answer is you've already been paid sir uh if you just contact michelle you would find that information out like we can

if we can solve things that way that's good but just like he was just so rude yeah and aggressive he had he had kind of a like you're not getting away with this motherfucker vibe about him he's holding the elevator like he's literally like got his get his arm in there and we're like we're trying to go up and i don't remember what the agenda was but if i'm in la i'm sure i had shit to do you know we had some stuff going on and uh and i i that was one time when like it would have been great if we'd had like a scott or a jeremy with us who is like waiting for that who have been told that like look there might be some fucking maniac who thinks it's cool to punch FPS Russia in the head, and I can't be getting in street fights.

So if you see somebody fucking with me, you lay them the fuck out, and I'll bail you out. And that's just how we know that's the way things go, because I'm sure there's some maniac out there who's like, yeah, he thinks he's a tough Russian. I'm going to show that commie some bitch. My daddy fought him in Afghanistan. And some dude comes at me because he thinks I'm a Soviet. I need Scotty there to lay him down.

So in the same regard, I was like, man, I wish Scott or somebody was here. Somebody who could just, you know, you go bail him out. One little assault isn't going to be that big of a deal. That seems almost dangerous to tell someone like Jeremy, though, because then in his head, they'll be like, like in his head, he is then your secret service. He is. I wouldn't think that. Oh, I'm fine with that.

I'm fine with pumping that up a little bit. But, you know, I'll get him an earpiece that doesn't even do anything. He's just got a curly cue. It sounds like it's just coming from you. Oh no, that's how they work. Is that a piece of rotini?

Yeah, that is rotini. Kyle, I haven't heard nothing from this thing yet. You will hear something from it when you need to. Not before. You will know it's on when you hear something. Is rotini the curly pasta? I pictured it as the curly pasta.

Fusilli is the curly pasta. Rotini is also a curly pasta. It's the one I was thinking of, actually. Yeah, the one that's like a corkscrew kind of, like a spiral kind of thing. Anyway, pasta talk. So that was just a... It's rare.

I can count the times that I've been that angry at another person who's in front of me you know on one hand and that time just god I was so mad at that guy I felt like he deserved an ass whooping anywhere else other than the lobby of the W in LA and he gets an ass whooping he gets an ass whooping in

Chicago he gets an ass whooping in Atlanta don't get me started on Boston he gets in Texas because the other people join us because they see he's brown. I didn't mention that, but he was. It had no bearing on the incident. But we start stomping him in Texas, and at least one guy joins in for the hell of it. I bet he was doing that to other people because there's no way that you guys were the first ones that he tried to bilkk a little more money out of you know like i bet he's done that to other people if he did i'm willing to lean toward woody's side that maybe this was just an error because he was so he was as confident

that he was in the right as woody seemed to be the only difference was that i that i that i know woody you know so i don't know i just remember it just being furious and it still makes me mad. I don't like that. That was fun times. Yeah. I don't remember which trip that was. I've been to that hotel a couple times. It's so nice. I don't...

Before you walk in, they've got Christmas lights strung up above you in these straight lines. It sounds tacky, but they're like... That's the lighting outside and then they park all the nice cars there under the lights right in front of the doors. lights strung up uh above you in these straight lines it sounds tacky but they're like uh that's the lighting outside and then they park all the nice cars there under the lights right in front of the doors there's like a lamborghini and a ferrari is w somehow related to the president like it is in my head but i don't know if they're at all like no no all right i was i don't know

what is it is the w like stand stand for something? I don't know. Huh. Oh, well. I just like staying there because it's a real nice hotel. And, man, that's where I always stayed. It's called the W? Yeah. It's rare that I care very much about my hotel room.

Like, there's a certain level of cleanliness where I want to believe that, like, even the comforter is pretty clean. Yeah. And once you hit that, they're all the same to me roughly yes so there's this bottom tier class where they have the air conditioner in the in the room like the unit and that usually produces a lot of humidity and moisture in the air and it makes all the bedding feel moist and just too humid i can feel it as i'm laying on the where they don't run the ac like it needs to be run if the room's not occupied like oh yeah we turn it up to 89 you know when no one's staying here those motel rooms i'm gonna call them just have like this this moist feel to them and then there's that middle grade of hotel like like the jameson or whatever anything suites

or whatever that you can get like 150 180 king room uh or if you're in a you know new york it's gonna be 450 or something like that um like you know a nice king room though you got a flat screen tv and a walk-in bathroom with a shower and a sink but and you know the next level above that and if somebody's paying for it i'm always happy happy, is, you know, we've got a big fucking nice shower with, like, digital displays and a sauna in there and the tiles all heated and there's, you know, maybe it's a suite with a couple of rooms or something like that. I'm with you. I can go both ways. I've always thought of hotels as these little miniature adventures. So I'm just as happy in my own way staying in that hotel in Texas that had rubber sheets and blood on the towels as I am when I got to stay in that incredible suite in Texas that was like several thousand dollars a night for a three-room suite. Don't float by that too quick.

There was blood all over your towels? Yeah. Have you ever cut yourself shaving or whatever? You got a little blood on your face for whatever reason, and you blot it with a towel. You usually use toilet paper, right? Yeah, I do, yeah. Not a savage. But if you have ever used, you know, a towel or a washcloth, then you would recognize the blotting blood pattern on the cloth that you've done so.

That was the case with our washcloths in this motel room. That was the case with our washcloths in this motel room. It was clear that this washcloth right here that's hanging has been used to blot someone's bloody body in some way. And there's another blood stain on the floor, maybe not even dime-sized. I would say smaller than a dime, but a blood stain nonetheless, clearly. The other funny thing about them was we plugged the AC in in this place to get it running it was the nicest place within 50 miles the other plate thing about them though was no soap or shampoo but i had my own because i travel so much and i was on the third leg of a journey anyway so i'd taken them from from hotels uh and so i've got soap and shampoo single servings you

know just enough to get me through this two-day trip or whatever i leave them in the room when i go out hunting the next day and when i return back they threw away my soap and shampoo and left nothing in return it was like she came in there and threw away my shit and just left nothing in return and that made me so goddamn mad but it was late at night and i was hot and i was just like there's nobody to even yell at so when i checked out i just i just threw the key like at the office and i was just like it's there fuckers like like one time melissa and i were at a hotel real key and we were uh up in our hotel room it's one of the like probably third night we've been there and we were both drinking and both got pretty drunk and she was looking down into the courtyard where you could see from our window and there was a bunny running around the courtyard and she was drunk pretty wasted we both were and

so she was like oh i'm gonna go hang out with the bunny i'm gonna go find it and i was like whatever you go find the bunny more power to you so i just sat there and watched and i never saw her emerge into the courtyard i'm like this is weird like she should have fucking showed up down there by now she's just looking for a bunny what's going on and i don't know what i was thinking i was hammered and i had a t-shirt on and basically like me undies style underwear you know um that kind of tight you know lift and separate style and i was wearing that and just a t-shirt and i left the room forgot my key locked myself out and i was in these basically jammers that like swimmers wear except even less fabric because it's underwear and i was just drunk enough that i did not care about having to walk through the

lobby and talk to the poor woman working the 130 shift in my underwear you could see like like cock outline on it for sure without a doubt like i'm not gonna fool myself but i was drunk enough that it didn't matter and i had to go to her ask for a new key she asked what room number i was i said i don't remember and then so she had to have one of the people come and help me find my room and then and then it all worked out but uh yeah that was stupid so i think i've i i i'm asking taylor have i told you the story about jeremy getting locked out of his room in his underwear you have i don't believe you have i'll stop you if you if i recognize it i'm looking for the hotel right now we were staying it might be the hotel derrick

it does it is a four-star hotel i i think it was the hotel derrick i'm not positive i know that it was right down the street from sullivan's which is like a five-star steak restaurant uh i would say better than morton's i think they i think they're like nationally known and they they had these like fancy blue lobsters they serve and stuff and uh anyway we'd gotten back from a night of uh drinking eating, and Scott and Jeremy had their own suite. I had my room to myself, and I just have gotten back into bed. I'm in bed. I'm going to sleep. Lights out. Phones plugged in. It's nighttime. The phone rings to the room, and I'm scared by that instantly because what could that even fucking be, right?

It's an emergency, and it's someone who doesn't even have my cell phone number, and it's an emergency, so I'm scared by that instantly because what could that even fucking be right it's emergency and it's someone who doesn't even have my cell phone number and it's emergency so i'm scared i'm like hello and it's the downstairs she's yes uh mr myers we've got a mr fulbright down here and um he seems to be locked out of his room and he says that he's in your block of rooms and i'm like yeah yeah yeah um feel free give him a give him a ticket yeah aria uh key uh you know yeah he's with me and she's like well we need you to come down to uh to show your identification and i'm like well who else would i be i'm in my room she's like well we need you to come down all together and i was all right fine so i'm fucking pull my pants on everything go downstairs it's really nice hotel there's a grand piano downstairs

there's an attached bar that's really swanky it was so swanky i didn't want to walk into it like without without like a sport coat on or something it just it was a very nice bar i was like we don't belong in that bar let's go down the street and find a hooters or something we don't belong in there with those people um there's a there's all kinds of staff even though it's late of late at night the elevators are literally gold. They're gold. So the floor is marble. It's big and white.

It's beautiful. We get in there. I get downstairs. I walk around the corner. And there Jeremy is, wearing his boxers and nothing else. They have hearts on them. The hearts are pink. I can see the outline of his cock and everything else.

I can see his big, hairy stomach and all of his racist tattoos. I can see his nipple rings, which he's fiddling with because they tickle. And he's flicking them around, you know, doing one of these as he stands there. Well, when you get nervous, you've got to play with something. He's not nervous even a little bit. He's very comfortable in his own skin. He's drunk. And I look past him at this 35- 35 year old black lady who is very nice looking and

and very well dressed uh behind the counter and she looks befuddled she's just like usually we call the police to get rid of the people like this like and he's saying he's got a key could so i shore my idea i'm like yeah he's with me. Let him in. This is my head of security. Oh, no. You wouldn't believe that. This way is a macaroni in his ear. Taken by the hand.

I'm like, oh, you got away again. Come on now. It was so embarrassing. And I get upstairs, and Scott is also locked out of his room. They had the same room. And I'm like, Scott, why didn't you go? He had sweatpants like these and a t-shirt. I'm like, why didn't you go downstairs

to the four-star hotel to get a room? He's like, we played paper, rock, scissors, and he lost. He was so drunk that he couldn't even be like, dude, you've got clothes on. You should go. He's like, I lost the bet. Damn it, I'll be back. I've got clothes on you should go yeah he's like i lost the bet i'll be back yeah it's like i've embarrassed myself plenty of times as we all have but it's rare that i've been so embarrassed by another that that's that that someone else has embarrassed me

that much just because of what they're doing it's usually like ah what did i say i didn't mean that thing but but this time it was like god i can't believe i'm with this guy and that's what she was thinking too it was so embarrassing jeremy's good guy that makes all this okay yeah got racist tattoos complete savage good guy good guy though wouldn't wish anything on you know just lifestyle that he's grown up in it's's a life choice. What games are we looking forward to? Obviously, Civ drops tonight. Pass six. I'm going to be playing that a good bit. I want to get good at that.

Remastered is big for me, obviously. I guess I should classify why I'm excited about them by what I'm going to do with them. Because it's one thing to say, oh, yeah, I'm so jazzed about Battlefield. And I'm going to buy Battlefield, but I'm going gonna play maybe a dozen hours of battlefield 25 hours of battlefield something like that it'll be something that i only play with other people with friends like chiz or taylor if he gets it and i just won't play by myself uh civ i'll play by myself single player multiplayer cod i'll play by myself um though i would love to have a full party and like the old days a lot of camaraderie and friendship and stomping on noobs and

that sort of thing Beyond that what else is there? That's a genuine question like what else is really one is tonight. I didn't realize that Snuck up on me. I Just I looked at the release date and it's October 21st And I also think they might be giving me a key like they gave me an email saying like hey all the keys are coming we'll get them to you or something.

So I might be getting Battlefield 1 for free. There is a... One of these keys that Chiz just sent us here, I think they're for the beta for Call of Duty right now. So you can get into the new Call of Duty beta right now if any of us want to. It doesn't have Remastered. It's about the next one.

Exactly. It's the new games beta. Yeah, I really don't care about it unless I can play COD 4. I played a little bit of it. My friend has the beta on PS4, and so I played one game of Domination on it. It was pretty fine.

It was exactly what I thought Call of Duty would be, but if you handed me that controller and didn't tell me it was the new Call of Duty, I would not have known. I would have just thought, oh, you know, you boost the same way, it's just the old Call of Duty. But granted, I don't know that much about the current CODs

and the guns and the maps, but yeah, there's too many games that are apparently going to be really good when all I'm interested in is COD 4 and Civ 6 at this point. Like, that's about it, honestly. Like, maybe I'll get Battlefield if a bunch of friends say it's great and it looks neat, but I just don't have enough time to be playing all of those games enough to get good at it. That's why I, honestly. Maybe I'll get Battlefield if a bunch of friends say it's great and it looks neat, but I just don't have enough time to be playing all of those games enough to get good at them.

That's why I'm so excited about Remastered, because I feel like I'm like, oh, I'm going to walk into one I'm going to suck. Of course, there's boost and mechanics I'm not good at, but Remastered, I expect to walk into that, have lousy skill on the stick, and know everything there is to know. And that's a pretty good place to be.

Yeah. I don't know how good I'm going to be at. I'm going to be conservative. I don't think I'll be that good because everybody's playing this time. I think that a lot of very, very strong players are going to be playing. I think I'll pull a positive KD, probably a 1.5 or a 1.7 or something. But I doubt I'm going to be dropping a 3.5 KD this time around. Probably not.

The people who are really into COD 4 and are really, really good at it are going to go straight to COD 4, not to the new COD. I know I am. Also, at a time where I was really pretty good at COD 4 or Modern Warfare 2 or whatever, I was way ahead of the game by having a headset. You know, like that kind of stuff is baseline nowadays. I think, I haven't been playing,

but I think everybody can sound whore. Everybody can, everyone, the whole skill, the player base has gotten more talented, I think. See, but COD 4 sound whoring is different than any sound whoring in COD that there's ever been. It's what I started with and it never was as good again after Call of Duty 4 because if you don't

have dead silence on... Ninja. No, it's dead silence. If you don't have dead silence on, I hear you stomping around. You're ringing the dinner bell for me every step you take if I'm listening. And even with it on, if I just fucking turn this dial all the way to the top, I can hear you anyway.

It's going to hurt my ears. I'm not going to like it. I may have a little hearing damage from it in the end. But I don't care because I'll hear right through that shit. And in Surgeon Story 1v1, maxed out with everything maxed, I can hear you so well. I know where you are and what direction you're going. I know if you reload. I know everything.

I miss that. Because that's the difference. It's like, first of all, it all it's a skill you got to be a little bit like a bat i think after a while you've learned to create this three-dimensional soundscape in your brain and and and and you couple that with your map knowledge to know what they're walking on you're a ping ping ping ping you know oh okay he rounded the corner he stepped out of the room now he's on the railing on the big boat you know oh right like there's wood right the wood is behind the glass house on a state like that's where the steps are you know that must be where exactly that's another good example yeah there's lots of there's lots of things like that where you can hear the difference between between footsteps on steel stone and and earth and and and you man i i really was like a bat with that stuff and so i'm looking

forward to that if that's not there i won't like the game as much as i as i used to the call of duty 4 is going to be like uh i don't know if it's not the exact same flavor as last time i won't have as much passion for if the sound whoring isn't the same if the reloads don't feel the same as responsive and stuff if my fingers don't follow the same paths as they used to, to like, I like, like I had protocols, right?

Like if I run through a door and there's a guy standing there in a certain way, I automatically jump, lay flat, twist around and do this like maneuver to try to beat that. And it works one out of 10 times, which means I'm a little bit better than I would normally be. I have little maneuvers. I do like that all the time. If I'm

running, sprinting, and I sprint past a guy through a doorway, I automatically drop, spin around 180 degrees. That's what I do every time. Everybody else wants to turn around and pursue back and go back and find that guy they ran past. I want to lay down and wait for that guy to follow me in. I do that every single time, 100%

of the time. So I think I'll be good at the game. I hope it feels exactly the same, though. If it doesn't, I'll be playing a lot of Civ and a lot of Battlefield. The player base is going to be better, and I'm going to be worse, and that's something I'll have to adjust to. Yeah, but I also think that at this point in your life,

you care a lot less about it. Like, I don't think... Woody of years ago, as you were looking for gameplays, you'd probably get a little pissed. Like, goddammit, I've been playing for two hours and nothing is usable. Now, you don't think like woody of years ago you like as you were looking for gameplays you'd probably get a little pissed like god damn it i've been playing for two hours and nothing is usable now you don't yeah you don't even have to consider that you'll just think oh oh i went two and ten who the fuck cares whatever well not that i'm bulletproof but i'm better at not giving a shit right like the me and modern warfare 2 or like black ops 1 is like oh the whole world is

looking at my online stats they're tired now it's gonna be like fuck off yeah right my katie is 0.8 you know battlefield 1 so my son's a gamer and uh he plays on hypixel the minecraft server a lot he plays a lot of cops and crims which is their CSGO kind of model. They also have a soccer game, which is kind of a Rocket League model. And he loves it. And I'm thinking to myself, I wonder how much he would enjoy these other games. I should get him on my Battlefield 1 account and see if he enjoys that. He might. And he commutes.

It's really hard. Battlefield is hard. I feel like, honestly, my biggest worry about Battlefield is, like, I'm going to be so bad, and I'm going to be so behind. I'm hoping that I find some PKA fans who are going to be my guides in that, because if you tell me to follow you, I'll follow you, and I'll do everything the right way. I just don't know where we're going.

Like, I just don't know when and where to get into a tank. I don't know how to fight tanks, but I see that good battlefield players do. I see them using teamwork to take out tanks and aircraft and stuff. I, I don't know. We'll see. Right.

He's 13. How many good 13 year olds do you know? Right. Like not many. I feel like they don't tend to get good till they're like 15 or so, but in the games he plays, he's strategizing. He's talking to the air no one

hears him but he's like calling out when he needs help when he's got you you know he's telling people to plant the bomb no one's listening right there's no mic on him but you know but i hear him and i'm like dude his thought process is that of an expert player you know he's got the strategies he i'm like maybe i should put him in csgo and see if he likes the like the actual game uh maybe i'll put him in battlefield maybe i'll put him in i don't know i just feel like he'd enjoy he's been playing day z um it's like a day z uh minecraft experience and while it's not my thing it looks really fun there's a but it's there's a lot of teamwork there's a lot of them like you know still minecraft so to me it's just like this doesn't look hardcore enough i need to see blood and guts and tears but uh

there it looks fun. They're driving around Atlanta, they're around the CDC. She's like, oh, I had to cut my arm off because it got bitten, and I had to apply a tourniquet, and Jim gave me some beans, so now I'm feeling alright, but I don't have a left arm, so that's a thing. It's DayZ, you say, or

a different game? It's Minecraft, DayZ, you said, right? Oh, is it called MindZ, by chance? I honestly don't know. She would Minecraft, Daisy, you said, right? Oh, is it called Mindsy by chance? I honestly don't know. She would be able to, you know, I just, but I walked by her office and I'll be like,

what are you playing? And I'll come and peek every now and then just kind of get the lay of the land. It looks, it looks just like Daisy mixed with Minecraft. It's what you would expect. Except in our Daisy experiences, of course we had like zero fun ever. You know, I, games like that like that have really passionate communities out there,

and I never want to disrespect one of those communities by playing their game and then being like, God, your game's shit. Because in essence, I'm saying you have bad taste. All of you do. And that's not what I'm saying here. It's just that we had such a hard time playing and getting going. Yeah. The truth is your game, this community we're talking about has what i consider to be a fairly steep

learning curve and there's a lot of like and they just you spend all this time building a sand castle right on a scale of one to ten i get to like a three and i'm like this is the best i've ever been you never got to a three. Two? I don't know. None of us did. Dude, I had guns and bullets that matched it. Oh, that's a three.

Okay. I had both. If I have guns and the bullets that match, you know, I've got like the melee weapon I want. That's a three for sure. Maybe a four. More than one gun and the bullets that match. Yeah, so like, and I think like, all right, now I'm prepared. You know, I can maybe do something. And then someone who really knows what they're doing

is blowing up the gas station as a trick to lure me into checking it out. It's really just like ringing a dinner bell and I'm like an idiot. I go towards it because it's really interesting to me. It's really interesting because we've been in this dead silent world. It's just like a real life environment if there were no people in it.

It's so quiet. There's nothing. Nothing creaks or groans or goes boom or pop. And then all of a sudden and we found each other, which is just a miracle in its own right. I came up with a navigation system on my own that involves using the color of trees, railroad

tracks, the ocean, and the sun. That's how we navigated to find each other. It was like, what color are the leaves there? Not a good system. Because if the leaves are orange, so here's what you do. You find the ocean, right? Once you've found the ocean, you can find the railroad tracks. They run perpendicular, or excuse me, parallel.

Once you find the railroad tracks, you have found north and south. Now we just have to walk in one direction or the other until we find orange leaves. If we find orange leaves we've went north and that's where I am, because I'm up by the harbor, up in the north. Oh my god, that sounds awful! Guess how long that takes, because an hour is far too quick to even get started on that journey. This is some hobbit shit. Three hours later

We all find each other and we've been having a separate conversation about our individual journeys. Oh, I found a tin can Oh really? Well, I found a torn raincoat. Haha. I found a 22 with no The payoff is so small compared to the amount of time you're putting into it like I have three hours into a normal into Borderlands you'll have some laser cannon that you have that's a lot of fun, and you're destroying bugs and giant miscreants and monsters. This sounds like you spend hours just to find maybe a spork.

The rewards are tremendous. I've been an eight in this game, as I think about it. We've repaired the helicopter and flown around in it and shot people with the minigun. I flew the helicopter. You've actually had some fun in it. I don't know.

So is that the same as the DayZ game we were playing? I know it's on a different server, but maybe was it a... There's so many versions when you're on PC. It was the same, I think. I'll tell you what happened, though. In the end, somewhere by the... There's like a military base or something in the northeast, if I remember, northwest, if I remember right. You go there and it's very dangerous.

There's always well-armed people. But we went there thinking this will be the way we end our night. It was so glitchy. Like the graphical glitch was so terrible. You could hardly see what was happening. Still. Is it still in alpha? Oh, that's crazy.

It's still in alpha. Still! Is it still in alpha? Oh, that's crazy. Yeah, it's still in alpha. My favorite experience that we ever had, and this is why I say the rewards are tremendous, because there's so much buildup. It's kind of like Civ. When I get to it, if I win a Civilization game in a triumphant, good way, when I pound my enemy into submission,

rather than like squirting by or sneaking by at the end, it's a really good feeling. And that's what this was. So Chiz and I had ran... Chiz had been killed by a guy up by the harbors in the north. And I'm heading that way and Woody's far to the south and I'm going there to avenge Chiz. When I get back there,

Chiz meets up with me and we meet the guy again. He has no way of knowing that it's Chiz on the respawn. He had just indiscriminately killed Chiz. Yeah, we're all three in there. And so he's taking all of Chiz's belongings. And so I start talking to him, Chiz on the respawn. He had just indiscriminately killed Chiz. Yeah, we're all three in there. And so he's taking all of Chiz's belongings. And so I start talking to him, Chiz and I both do,

and I convince him to join our merry little band and head south with us. I say, hey, there's lots of good shit down south. Three's better than one. Why don't you be our friend? And he's like, yeah, man, that sounds good. Here, you can have my axe. And I was like, ah, thank you for the axe, sir. And axe sir and you know we so of course we're heading south to woody woody is weighing waiting

with a gun and a bullet and a big tanker ship so we get to the big tanker ship and we're like oh man look at that tanker ship we got to explore that i bet that if there's not loot there's dead bodies and those things could have who knows what, what, a machine gun and bullets. So we all go up in the building. Woody's, we're on two different chat lines, of course. One that's just me, Chiz, and the bad guy. One that's me, Chiz, and Woody. They're, of course, separate.

And so we're coordinating this thing. We're leading him toward Woody, who's lying in wait. When we get to Woody, who's up on this elevated position with his gun with the bullet woody goes stop right there you're dead everybody get on the ground and i don't know whatever like like yeah some i'm all angry and you know like like just laying it on thick and then man just drop yeah like better do what he says man it's just drop woody just casually strolls up to this guy and goes just drop. Woody just casually strolls up to this guy and goes, BANG!

Fucking executes him right there and we all laugh and laugh and laugh and we take his things and that was worth it. That was worth like three days of hours of monotonous bullshit to lead this guy that we had a reason to turn on him.

Kill Chiz indiscriminately and stolen Chiz's things with no verbal contact beforehand and we just tricked him so well manipulated him led him into a perfect trap my fear because the game is so buggy it was that what he was gonna miss and you might have missed his head the first shot but you put him down that's all that matters is there like a death mic like you know how in call of duty there used to be a perk where after you killed someone, you could hear for like three seconds of like, oh, goddammit, faggot, son of a bitch. Like, is there that in DayZ?

Because I imagine they would be furious if you just walk up, execute them, and then pick up all of their little parcels and trinkets that they've been collecting, and you just steal it. It's yours now. All those things that you spent hours finding while you were trying to find your friends near the yellow leaves, that's mine now. That seems so frustrating. And then in another circumstance,

Woody Chiz and I had coordinated kind of near that gas station that you were hearing, and we were we went inside of a structure that had multiple doors, kind of like bathroom stalls. You could hear this guy walking around outside, which again, you just don't run into people

in this game. You run into somebody, you're like, oh shit, that's a people. Like Walking Dead, the TV show, which by the way, coming back on Sunday, don't want to ruin your topic. The real danger is not the walkers, it's the people. And so we hear this

guy outside, and I'm so unequipped, and Chiz is. And so we hear this guy outside, and I'm so unequipped, and Chiz is too, that we're both like, let's fucking kill this guy. Let's get this guy 3v1, it doesn't matter what he's got, and Woody's got a, Woody was a little bit better equipped, and a little bit kinder to his fellow DayZ players,

you know, Woody's always been a community gamer. Hey, let's all be friends! Four heads is better than three I think was maybe what he's consideration adding what I'm thinking. I'm thinking three axes will kill this guy We'll take all in shit And so he comes that we start talking to him like it's it's one of those things where like if we open the mic up He can hear us even though side the bill. Hey, man. What's up? He's like hey, how's it going? He comes in the room. We're all kind of doing this glitchy walk around each other where we're kind of it's like animals posturing

almost and then out of nowhere i don't remember there was like a countdown and like woody was like no no no and chiz was like ah and i was like hit him i don't even know if i ever got to hit him but we all like me and chiz start trying to hurt him and and Woody's still like, well, wait a minute here, guys. And in the end, I just remember Woody's dead, Chiz is dead, and I got into the bathroom cubicle and closed the door. And I'm just in there like this. And the door swings open, and he's got a machine gun. He goes, And I'm like, all right, I'm getting the fuck out of here.

I do remember that. we were like all right because this guy was better equipped than us but there were three of us three of us and we like we were ready to be terrible people and he was ready to be a friend we thought three of us getting the jump like in real life right if kyle has a gun and tay Chiz, and I all have axes, and Kyle's gun is, like, holstered, and he's got, like, a friendly attitude. We can win! You know, we can win. Three people with an axe beats an unprepared gun.

Unless he's just way better than us. It's hard to hit him with the axe, because it's DayZ. You're like, And you're like, shit, I don't know if I'm hitting him or not, because the blood animation is glitchy. You don't know if you've hit him. You can't really tell. So you kind of are just swinging in the direction, hoping he dies. Yeah, and I think I had a wrench or

a stick or something. That's why I was so motivated. He's hitting him with a bandage. If the three of us hunt for another hour, I might get armed, or we could kill this guy and we all step up two levels. It just seemed like the way to go, look guys, if the three of us hunt for another hour, I might get armed. Or we could kill this guy and we all step up two levels. It just seemed like the way to go. But man, my experiences with that game were terrible.

I watched the Overpock gameplay for a long time on YouTube, and I find that fascinating. And if I could get into that, I would. I bet it's so much fun. It's like DayZ, the gigantic open world environment and vehicles and stuff, but with factions who really aggressively compete with one another over resources and these timed missions like AI missions that happen in the game.

Everybody hates pay to win, but we were desperately looking for a pay to win DayZ. We're like, is there some way I could give you a dollar and get a gun? Can I buy something better than this? They've got a gold system. That's why I always try to play Overpock with the gold coin modifier system. Because they build a safe area in the game that's like your transaction area

where you take your loot, trade it in for gold, and then use that gold to buy vehicles, guns, ammunition, all the things that you could want in this region. Building supplies, if you need concrete and cinder blocks, that's where you buy them and stuff. This needs to be my next business. WoodZ, the pay-to-win DayZ server.

Are you tired of grinding your ass because it's a dollar a teleport, you know? For three dollars you all get together, and for a dollar more you all have guns. Get going. I'd be like, $2? Fucking sign me up. It saves me two hours. $7, you get a

permanent teleport pass, and you start every game with a 9mm. Well, see, Overwatch is different because you have a base. You build those nice, crazy bases, like Minecraft style, and they have laws. It's not like you can just go to somebody's base and hit the lock

enough times to get in you gotta have the combination or you can't get in that base and you can share this combination it's literally a combination lock that you like twirl the dials and in that inside of that base you have safes which also have combination locks so you can let someone in your base but not necessarily in your safe

and then in that safe you store your goodies that you've collected over many, many missions. That way, because DayZ, you just go out, get a little bit of something, and then you die and it's all gone. But with Overpock, which is like a combination of DayZ mods, you get team-based combat. The weapons are like uber, uber top tier. It's an intervention with a thermoscope, with a silencer on it, with a bipod, with uranium bullets or something. You know, like there's no bullshit, like rusty AKs. Yeah.

I've looked over at the thing to make sure we're recording like a good 18 times. We are recording. We are recording. I'm glad for that intermittent update. How's about that? Come on, man. Alright, well, the next PKA is the Civ 6 livestream.

In complete silence as Woody groans. Kyle, I think you had someone to tell us about. Yeah, yeah, let me get that last ad read in there. Tell all you guys about Jack Threads, our brand new sponsor, I believe. when was the last time you ordered clothes online and got to try them on before paying for them never right well that's exactly what jackthreads.com does you can try anything at home uh for free and you only pay for what you keep whether it's big name brands uh

whether it's a big name brand or the Jack Threads in-house line, you can be sure to get one, you can be sure you are 100% in love with the items you ordered before spending a cent. Choose anything you want and try it on at home for free. Take advantage of their new tryout program today. You'll have seven days to decide

if it's working for you and Jack Threads gives you everything you need to send the clothes back if you don't want them uh packing tape and a prepaid shipping label go to jackthreads.com and enter offer code painkiller when you submit uh your tryout excuse me when you submit your tryout for 20 off anything you keep uh i think i just read that wrong go to jackthreads.com and enter our code PAINKILLER when you submit your tryout for 20% off anything you keep.

Are you new to reading? It seems like it. It's just poor grammar. I blame Chiz. That's jackthreads.com, code PAINKILLER to save 20% off anything you keep. Never buy before you try ever again. This is

really cool. Chiz promised me because there was only a small amount of, you know, like bonus monies to be accrued to one of us. He promised me that I would get the entire sum of money so that I could have something nice that I could show off on the show.

As of yet, my account remains untouched. Zero dollars in there. So as soon as I get some money in my JackThreads account, I'm definitely going to... I've already picked out a few things. I have no problem with that. I feel like it's almost traditional that I get the spoils.

Like, I got the wet platinum. The wine. Oh, you didn't get wine? Yes, you got the wine. Okay, I got the wine. And I feel like there's another thing and i yeah it's time for for kyle to get a little perk from jack threads painkiller is the code 20 off they don't buy the clothes if you can try the silk for free and it's not just clothes i was on there i was on there looking at their messenger bags and uh backpacks and stuff and all their their accessories like where they're i think they've

got watches on there if i remember correctly uh belts like like shoes everything um and it's really nice stuff i i thought i'm definitely interested in it i've just been yeah in that account every day waiting for chis and the people over at jack threads if you want that tagline of don't buy the threads if you can try the silk for free contact us again and i will sell it it's such a stupid that would sell any clothes they'll be like yeah it's also not trademarked so check them out i'm pretty i like this trend of being able to not have to this sounds antisocial but i like this trend of not having to go to like macy's or nordstrom anymore because like you're a you're a target as soon as you walk in there you know you have guy with

a bow tie mustache and vest who doesn't really look like he works at nordstrom 100 and you don't know until he's like right up and he sidles up next to you and is like, you looking at jeans? Yes, I'd like to be left alone. This is what you need with that. Jackthreads.com. Check it out. I agree.

I don't like being hassled anywhere. I mean, I used to do it to people when I was selling cars. That's a huge, huge part of it is going after people and being aggressive. But I hate it. Everybody hates it, I guess. You've got to be good to approach someone and not have them on the inside just be like, ugh, the fuck do you want? Because I'm here for jeans. I'm here for jeans, not to start a conversation about what jeans you like and what you think I'd look good in.

My goal here today is not to make some money by selling someone a fucking credit card, you piece of shit. I'm buying jeans. Now, back off. I don't want a Nordstrom card. With jeans, I'm with you. I had to tell somebody twice. I don't want to be – I am actually fully capable of buying jeans without help, right? It's something I can do.

But a car – Prove it. Okay. I haven't done it in a long time. But I would think it's something I could do. But with a car, I need help. I need a guy with a key. Hypothetical gene buying expertise you have. Let's not leave that behind. Okay, I can buy cargo shorts.

Alright, alright, I'm with you. I'm with you. Yeah, yeah, on my own. But with cars, I don't know if the salesman does provide any value aside from getting the key. If the keys were in the car. If you do your online research, absolutely not. So a sales plan is worthless if you're doing all of that online research. My thing was always I wanted to do a presentation for you and tell you things you didn't know. And that's particularly good if you have done your online research and then the guy tells you something you didn't know whether it's bullshit or not i never lied but i would tell you some things like um you know talk about the breakaway engine mounts right

so your front end collision the engine is going to drop down and slide under your feet rather than you know careening into the cab and crushing your legs now i'm sort of implying that the dodge would crush your legs when in fact this has been a standard thing on all vehicles for many, many years. They all do it. So there's, like, so many things that every vehicle does that I would always tout. Like, you see that fan belt? Made out of Kevlar. Yeah, they're all made of fucking Kevlar. Let's make them out of Kevlar now.

One of the Toyotas is made out of parchment paper. You wouldn't believe what they're getting away with. You see those headlights? They're made out of Lexan. It'll never fade or yellow, and it's tough as shit. You know, slap the fuck out of parchment paper. You wouldn't believe what they're getting away with. You see those headlights? They're made out of Lexan. It'll never fade or yellow, and it's tough as shit. You know, slap the fuck out of it, because you can't hit a Lexan headlight hard enough with your hand to break it, not an open hand. Just slap the shit out of it. They're all made out of Lexan. They don't go yellow

anymore. You know, just little stuff like that. So if you could add some value, which is what you really... Your goal as a salesman is to add value and, you know, sell the sizzle, not the steak, right? But most of the time, 99% of the time, you're not a fucking salesman. You deal with a BDC department or a manager directly. You just call and do your deal.

But regardless... You slipped something past me. The BDC? I think it stood for Business Development Center in my experience. But it's like they're not really salesmen it's actually what happens to a salesman if you're not good at selling cars uh you answer the phone for the the newspaper ads and and really all the ads internet ads and stuff like that anyone calling to ask a question about a car goes to that guy because it's kind of a fish in the barrel and

they don't have as much authority to make decisions they're just just kind of a – they don't get a real commission. They get a really small commission, like 5% or something, because they're not really doing anything. It's what happens to bad salesmen. I don't know. In my experience, maybe that's what happens to great salesmen. Maybe there's some guy at Acura right now in the BDC department making $600,000 a year. I don't know. Yeah.

When I bought my Tac tacoma it was 2003 so it was a long time ago but uh there was a guy who seemed to handle all the internet sales and uh like i don't know it seemed like a good position like he's the guy that gets all the internet sales like that must be a lot of cars and uh he might have played me but he was like i bought the tacoma i think it was 500 over invoice, something like that. And I didn't pay for the documentation fees or anything else, actually. Just invoice, taxes, and that's it. And 500 bucks.

And he sold a Toyota Matrix, which I think had just come out like a few weeks earlier. And that was way prior. He's like, yeah, you know, I can get these Tacomas where I don't make any money at all and make it on the other side with the Matrixes. Yeah, they don't. He might have been lying. No, he's telling the truth. The Scion, well, you know, that's a little bit, that's a while back.

Those were the days where they had to turn the crank to start the Tacoma. But I remember the Scion at Toyota. One of my managers moved on to Toyota and and I was considering switching over to Toyota, and I was looking into it. I was like, what's the profit margin like over here? And it was such shit. It was like when we sell a Scion. He's like, you see that guy?

He sells all the Scions. The Scion is like a... It's a Toyota. Yeah, it's a Toyota Scion. He sells them all. It's the only way he can make a living because nobody else will touch... If somebody wants a Scion, we walk away. away there was like 200 markup on the car like you just you got a base minimum for selling the car and it wasn't worth your time you were getting paid like 15 an hour or some

shit to do all that paperwork it was it was it was just fucking awful nobody wanted that i don't think toyota has a lot of markup in their cars in general i bet the more expensive the car the more markup, of course. I bet like those – that's a Nissan. I'm trying to think. What's the big Toyota, the 4Runner? Like Zyra? 4Runner's an SUV.

Yeah, I'm thinking about the biggest of their SUVs. It might be called a Sequoia. Sequoia, it is. Yeah, yeah. I bet there's some markup in that. There's also a Land Cruiser or something like that. It's pretty big. But I think the biggest is the Sequoia.

I think you're right. I think the Land Cruiser is really expensive. The Sequoia is also. The 4Runner is the value SUV out of those guys. I think it's the mid-size. But all those, the biggest of the SUVs, the ones that are

the Expedition, the Suburban, the top end of those i think now is getting up to 70 right dude yeah so like a nice suburban is expensive as shit a um like ford f-150 now so like it a decked out 401 f-150 67 000 like wowzer that's a lot. $65,000. I feel like an inexpensive home in an inexpensive area is double that. It's less. Dude, there's a house near me.

And we looked at it one time for, I don't remember who we were suggesting it to. It's 1,500 square feet. It's like a kitchen, a living room, and a bedroom in the back it's a one bedroom house it's $48,000 sitting on a quarter acre and it's not a trailer no it's a house it's right off of a highway it's not on the highway it's off the highway

on maybe 300 yards of dirt road like you turn off a highway 300 yards of dirt road and there's your house and it's not in a trashy area I wouldn't say it's $48,000 it's a rural area for sure but you're four minutes from the interstate you leave your house four minutes later you're at the interstate and you know from there you get places yeah it wow that's cheaper than i thought i thought when you went to 50 grand usually you went to like ghetto type area dude what's this was four years ago right you

know it was real shit the um yeah because i know that like in detroit they're giving away homes or like you can get them for like hundreds yeah or yeah like in detroit those homes against the rats that people like deny ownership of like people just walk away from property which is weird to me i'm like should i buy it and like sit on it for a while it's not that weird when you like That people deny ownership of. People just walk away from property, which is weird to me. I'm like, should I buy it and sit on it for a while? It's not that weird when you look at the properties and you're like, ah, if you told me this was a property in East Baghdad, I would believe you. Unless you pan out and see next exit Detroit, you wouldn't know.

It looks like garbage. I don't think there's any way to bring those places back until there's like... I don't even know what it needs to bring Detroit back. You need to bring a ton of jobs back in there and make it so that just the fact that a bunch of people are living in the urban area with jobs build the city back up. City makeover.

Until then, no way. The whole city needs an extreme makeover. Did you see that video? Cheers? Was sounding razzed it sucks I'm sorry I genuinely thought that Raz was like you shouldn't apologize cuz I thought that Raz right there is like what that thought that was Like a sieve term that people were like, oh you're razzing me thought that was like a civ term that people were like oh you're razzing me you're right i know the word but i thought that that was like the game vernacular like ah he's razzing all my cities or whatever he's not even annexing them or something there's too many words i've learned

by reading hyperbole is one i consistently read to myself incorrectly i'm like ah it's hyperbole yeah good old hyperbole yeah that one sounded out yeah there's another one i can't think of i saw yeah I probably found it out there's another one I can't think of I saw the other day and I was like wow do I ever read that word correctly because I know it's much like that I know the word I know it by sound I know what it means but wow I just don't read that word ever do I I can't I wish

I could think of what it was there are some of those words though where like you write it out and you're like hmm there is not a red line under that but that does not look right at all i went to go check i worked at a boardwalk store and we sold toothpicks or something for hors d'oeuvres but the spelling of hors d'oeuvres is not what you'd guess it's like hordevores or something like that with an apostrophe in the middle and i'm like oh this is for hordevores so silly. Like, I'm making fun of our product. Those are the dinosaurs that only eat plants.

Yeah, yeah, the hortivores. Yeah, and, like, I think I was mocking the product. Like, oh, hortivores, it's so stupid. When someone had to point out that it was, in fact, me who was stupid. That's a little embarrassing. That's funny. Yeah. I saw the horters the other day.

It was Jim Norton and the guys making fun of an episode of Hoarders where the old woman had been shitting in bags for 10 years. Her and her husband had been shitting in bags for 10 years, and the upstairs was full of bags of shit because they'd been shitting in bags for 10 years. Now, was the husband... It's rare to me that they're equally insane. Usually one person...

The woman's insane. The husband is just allowing it to happen. Yeah. He's just allowing it to happen. Somehow insanity is not a showstopper for some people. You know, they're like, you know what? Aside from the fact that we live in a metal dumpster

that needs to be tipped into the landfill, she's otherwise fine. And it's like, that showstopper. They're cleaning this place. And, like, I've seen horrors before, but this is the worst. There's dead cat bodies everywhere. They'll unzip a bag that she claims is full of treasures, and it's full of roach eggs and, like, larva squirming and stuff. Literal pieces of cats.

I know the episode you're talking about. Pieces of cats, bones, dead, full adult dead cats, bags of shit, as I said before. And so, and they're having, it's like tooth and nail, they're fighting her to like clean this place. It's not like she's like, yeah, clean it fucking out. Right. She's like, well, what about that bag? That's got memories in it.

And it's like, no, that's got maggots in it. And just thing after thing like that. And there's one point where they sit down with her, and he's like, you can either have that box or you can keep the house. And she's like, well, I want to keep the house, but I want the box too. Right. And he's just like, no. They're the most. You can have that box or you can keep the house

and she's like well I want them both and in the end they come to inspect they come to inspect at the very end but right before that happens they look upstairs and there's so much shit upstairs so much trash garbage rotting material upstairs that it is unsafe for their teams

to continue not only is it a hazard because the second floor could collapse, but some of the stuff up there is just so gross that they're just not prepared for it. And if I can interject, this is not a team, because I know exactly the episode you're talking about, this is not a team that walked in and found the first bag of poop and went, all right, wrap it up, this is done, we're done here.

They had found dozens of bags of poop and multiple dead cats on the ground level. And it wasn't until, like, day two when, like, the happy-go-lucky guy who helps clear all the shit with his team of very unfortunate, probably excellent felons who are assigned to do this, he actually comes out and, like,

solemnly, because up until now, every communication with him and the hoarder woman has been, do you want this old, um, do you want this old platter that's shattered in two? Do you want this? Oh, I need that. My grandson made that for me. Well, it says

William Sonoma on the back, so I doubt it, but do you want it? Yes, I need that. And then eventually he starts, you see the camera, him walking like two steps up the stairs past the bags of shit. He's climbing Everest, and he peeks up, and he just comes down and looks to the camera and is like, we have to stop. I'm sorry.

For the safety of the people here cleaning your house, I cannot put people up there. It is too dangerous. You have shit your home into a danger zone. You have pooped yourself into a place. You have pooped yourself into a place. You've pooped yourself into a corner. We can't help you. I'm sorry. Dude, every time there's a-

Let me tell you how it ends. The city comes and inspects, and they're like, game over, bro. You live in a shithole. The neighbors are complaining of the smell, and now we know why. They fine her $10,000 to tear her house down. They're like, we're gonna need $10,000 in for you to get the fuck

out of the way because we're coming tomorrow to wreck this shit and burn it to glass. How many old bags of cheese is that? I have six cat heads and a lot of old tampons and a bag of feces. At this point, it's basically compost. Jamie, you haven't used tampons since Eisenhower was in office.

Every time you see a hoarder house and they have pets, it's a shithole. There is no way that they keep cats and there's boxes to the ceiling and the cats aren't shitting in little crevices everywhere. It's totally animal abuse. Completely. Who cares about them? Yeah. It's house abuse. It's neighbor abuse.

Do you remember her excuse? These people have paid a lifetime to like just money to the house, money to the house, money to the house. And they think there's value in this shit. So they don't realize what they're doing to themselves. Now, you have a home that needs to be torn down with an excavator. And there's just like, everything about it is rotted through. Your drywall is not salvageable because your cats are pissed on it. It was so bad, dude.

It was the worst they'd ever seen. Her daughter even gives up at one point. There are people crying. Oh, my God. Yeah, her daughter walks up to go into the house, and it does, like, that little documentary, like, fade to black, and then the text shows up, and then it fades back to the footage, and it just fades and says,

Susan, Samantha's daughter, hasn't been inside the house in 11 years and like then they do like the little pre-walk-in interview with the daughter and she's like i grew up with this i know what to expect it's just so sad that it's come to this she walks one step into the home after opening the door and crumbles crumbles in despair in grief at the look of this home imagine someone who is so upset by the way that you live your life that they are just they're tearing their clothes like a biblical prophet just wailing into the sky and that's what it was and then like the excuse they asked the lady they asked the lady rubbing ash on their floor then they asked her like how did this happen the the main woman who

was the hoarder and her excuse was the same thing that i would say if i had like a week's worth of dishes in my sink i would say just got away from me she goes well, well, you know, one day you're just working as hard as you can and then it all gets away from you and nobody helps. And it's like, whoa, first of all, you're not the fucking victim here. All these poor cats are the victim of your debauchery. I feel like the cats have it made.

There was no way to get through the house. You had to actually step on garbage and meander through garbage. Killing a vermin. Slapping at poaches. Shitting where they please. Fucking... This is a cat wonderland. Welcome to cat world.

I don't know, maybe. Except for the whole thing where eventually they get, like, crushed, you know, by the refuse and, like, trapped in a corner under bags of shit. Like, maybe that's... How were there whole skeletons of cats if this was a wonderland do you think that they were trying to jump off of uh i don't know pizza box

collapsed and crushed them eventually all cats are gonna die i just assumed that along the way she had so many wild cats living in her upstairs shit room that a few just succumbed to the fumes that's lester he died off of Pizza Hut Peak

when he crumbled and was tragically lost in the succumbing ambulantium. I tried to find her, but I was very quickly overcome by a need to poop in a bag. Dibdorn was like, can you imagine this bitch squatting over a trash bag

shitting every day for 10 years and I'm just like I wonder if that's how she did it people have the wrong mindset here's how you poop in a bag alright let's think about how the mechanics of it are very important to me when I see things like this go down I have to think like what was the actual mechanics of shitting in that

bag every day I hope here's what I would picture an old woman doing. Maybe, like, getting in a half-squat kneeling position, sort of lean forward, and with a handful of tissue, reaching back to her asshole and catching the poop, and then sort of making a fist,

wiping and retrieving the poop all in one motion, and putting it in a bag. Why can't you just put the bag under your hiney and poop in it? Because you're an old lady who wasn't very spry and squatting all the way down is going to be dangerous. Is there something wrong with the plumbing? How did we get to pooping in bags? Yes. The toilet

broke and she pooped in it. Yeah, we didn't explain this. I'm sorry. Basically, her explanation is the plumbing stopped working years ago and so we just started pooping in bags. We didn't call someone. We didn't have someone come out and fix the plumbing.

Well, how could you get someone out there? You just excise that portion of your life. No more pooping in water and flushing it away to the sewer. We now do it in bags, and we also don't take out the trash. Well, it's wasteful, you know? It's just a lot of water. I wanted her to take that route. At one point, they were like,

well, the upstairs, it seems that there's about eight feet of animal shit, and there appears to be a dead homeless man up there. Well, he wasn't dead. He's dead now. How do you explain that? And she would be like,

well, it does need a good cleaning. That's what she would say whenever like, whenever they were like, we went upstairs to room number three, and there was nuclear waste there. That was meant for Yucca Mountain. How did you get it? And she said, well, it does need a good cleaning. That's her answer to everything.

And each step of the way, it was more and more putrid, rotten, and disgusting. Just the smells. Often they think it has value. Like, that's what happens. Like, if you see, for example, a broken broomstick handle in your garage, you say, ah, I have to throw this out. It's taking space

and it has no value. They're like, ah, someday I'm going to find a use for that broken broomstick. Not right now, but I will need a very short windsock at some point, and that will be perfect for it. And they just save shit that is garbage in some situations it's literal garbage it'll be like receipts for mcdonald's it'll be

pizza boxes that sort of thing it's a it's a bizarre disorder i'm a i'm a messy guy i am i mean i i got two four six i got eight old doc diet dr peppers around me right now i just do but there's a trash can right there and when when I get to 12 Dr. Peppers, I'll put them in the trash can, and I'll take that one upstairs, and it'll go in the dumpster. There will never be a dead animal in here. I mean, it just won't happen.

There'll never be a stack of garbage. It just won't happen. That's outrageous. Outrageous. There will never even be a time where you walk downstairs, and you're like, my God, there have to be 400 empty cans of soda down here.

How did I let this happen? That would never happen. I'll admit this. With the empty cans, I can get out of hand. I have before. Especially if I have a gaming area that I'm going there, gaming all night, and then, oh, let's get to bed. Oh, to bed with us. It's way too late to be gaming.

And then I leave that mess there and a day or two might go by of that like i spent if i'm playing a lot of games or something there could definitely be a situation where there's like two two old mcdonald bags and like 15 or 20 empty uh soda cans which is a huge mess but there aren't any vermin living in it. You know where I get out of hand? Cardboard boxes. Like we buy a lot of stuff from Amazon. And if you get a lot of your things from Amazon, it's not,

it doesn't take too long before you can fill an area the size of like a executive desk, you know, like, like just a third of a small room. And it just be like, these boxes have taken over part of my garage and they don't fit in the recycling bin is every day every single day three boxes at least yeah there isn't we have a dumpster like like a big like rollback dumpster that like you clean up a construction area to fill with boxes and And it's full right now.

If my boxes get to the point where it's taking some volume, I burn that shit. I just toss it in there. I used to be in my vlogs a lot. Like, you know what? The boxes got ahead of me. I'm not going to try to work it out

over the course of weeks in my recycling. I consider doing something. That's also a fun way to get rid of trash. If you can just be like, I get to burn all this trash. It's suddenly fun fun way to get rid of trash. If you can just be like, I get to burn all this trash. It's suddenly fun. You usually shouldn't burn trash, people. If it's just cardboard boxes, whatever. It's fine.

You start with garbage and then you turn it into smoke and then it just goes away. It goes up into the atmosphere and then it makes stars. It's the air. It's nature's dumpster. I don't think that's how it works, but I don't know enough to dispute it.

That's exactly how it works. Same with tires. Everybody wants to bury them. You burn your tires. They burn for a long time, I'm told. Everybody was giving shit about pouring oil in the storm drains. I've seen all kinds of water go in that storm drain.

If oil was going to cause a problem, then we'd know about it by now. It goes right out to the sea. It goes right to the sea. You're like 400 miles from the ocean. You worry about Aquaman. I don't live in the sea. You're like 400 miles from the ocean. Are you worried about Aquaman? I don't live in the sea.

In no way that your store drain in northern Georgia goes to the ocean. It makes it to the sea. No more than mine makes it to the sea. I mean, eventually I guess. Mississippi eventually going to the sea.

Actually, yeah, you're right. Once it enters the water table and some whatever. I don't know. But, yeah, I've earned some boxes sometimes so it doesn't get ahead of me. I know it's bad for the environment, but it's good for the garage. I want to find something cool to do with all the boxes. So I considered once putting them all on the floor and attaching them to one another and making a tunnel through them all like cutting holes in about this big and

then our little dogs you know the weenies could go through these crazy adventures like I'm picturing myself as a weenie and I'm like oh he's so cool to have all those chambers and boxes to search and I could hide toys and treats all and I mean it just be a cool adventure for him like make a whole maze out of them but more more and I. But more fun thing to do, maybe stacking them to create a pyramid and having them all have holes in them

so that you've created a large volume of potentially explosive gases or something. And then you've got a pyramid as big as a house, maybe, of cardboard boxes that are filled with an explosive gas of some kind, and then igniting them so they

explode. How would you ignite it? I'm picturing an arrow with a roasted marshmallow on it. There's like ten ways to ignite it. There's plenty of fun theatrical ways to do that. Dead cord? That's like, and it's

off. Your idea is better. like like like a bow with the fiery arrow is always really it's just so hard to make work um i've done it before we did that thing for far cry where i shot the flaming arrow and uh and lit the stuff that was so hard to make work does it work because it seemed because the bow really requires those feathers on the back to make it go straight if you put something on the front then it seemed like they would be the better feathers and it would just fuck about no so so on the front you put um you know uh whatever's burning in our case i don't know what's supposed to be used i think they usually use like pitch or something on an on a rag and it's attached i don don't know. But what we

used was oily rags or maybe gasoline and oil mixed. Maybe gear oil mixed with gasoline to make a thick, flammable consistency and then a rag soaked in it and then sort of secured to the end of the arrow by taking the arrow.

Is it hard to get diesel burning? It seemed like that would be a good thing to do. It's really hard to get diesel burning. I like that'd be a good thing diesel burning yeah yeah it's i know you can't drop a match in it but i thought if you like held a blowtorch on it you'd have what you want no well it's gonna go right out though it's not gonna keep running because keep in mind you've got to draw the bow and then we've got to loose this arrow and it's going to be traveling even if it's a shitty bow like well my it's not a shitty bow it's just not a compound competition bow it's probably shooting 200 feet per second that's 200 per second is like fucking 200 miles an hour it's it's pretty it's like 160 miles an hour or something like that you're fucking fast so

it's gonna go right out you need something that's burning hot and thick so that maybe on its journey there it's sort of blowing out but as soon as it stops it goes again. We'll see. As you loose the arrow it's accelerating and you get some of the material comes off of it and my concern with napalm would be that I'm drawing it back

and there's a thing with napalm on it right above my hand burning and dripping. That seems like not a great idea. Practically speaking, it's weird making shit. I always thought the flaming arrow was like, oh, that's fucking easy as hell. On TV it is. I bet there were a lot of blind archers before they figured that out.

You know, when they first tried to make flaming arrows. I've done a lot of stuff with arrows. God damn it. I thought we had this. We better figure it out next try. We're going back to the atlatl. The salesman said there'd be no problem. Yeah.

He said this was the way of the future. I like archery. I like those. I told you guys about the air gun that shot the arrows right yeah that thing's fucking cool I want to get a hold of that thing that does sound cool I'd never seen anything like that before I really want to shoot something

I want to shoot a pig with it that's why whenever I go to a machine gun shoot or some sort of gun expo and I'm talking to manufacturers about whatever their individual product is I often come back to being like i want to shoot a pig with that like they'll have some slug that like you know as it's flying into the air wings open up around it or something or chains or or it'll set its enemy on fire it'll like

liquefy their bones or whatever new cool bullet did you see the Luke Cage bullet where it goes and then it burrows and then it explodes later? That would fuck up a pig. Sure. Every time I see something like that, I'm like, I want to shoot a pig with that. Kyle hates pigs, apparently. I hate them. I was telling Woody this the other day. Because he's never killed anything.

And I was like, if you ever want to actually... Henrietta would beg to differ. Well, if you ever actually... They ruin entire ecosystems and crops and everything they're they're an invasive gigantic like 200 pound cockroach you know they're really terrible things they breed incredibly fast they're ravenous they they destroy landscaping livestock they kill pets they root up um uh uh we call it when farmers lands uh doing you know tens of thousands of dollars of damage and uh and so texas has texas has laws that allow you to really really do anything you want uh as

long as it involves a pig being dead at the end of that you run them down with your car absolutely run them down with your car on purpose you want to blow them up with explosives high explosive sure dead cord missiles you want to set them on fire we don want to blow them up with explosives. High explosives? Sure. Dead cord? Missiles? You want to set them on fire? We don't care. Shoot them from a helicopter? Well, sure. That sounds like a good industry here in Houston. Let's get a few companies that shoot them from the air. They really hate those things. And so I have no remorse for them. They're ugly animals up close. I'm sure they're highly intelligent, but they're also highly aggressive. Every time I get close to one, although I am in the act of fighting it, it's fought back. I've been in the ring with bulls and calves and cows

and they just want to get out of there. They don't want to mess with me. They can get aggressive and I've had one hit a gate and send me flying through the air before, but with a pig, he's like, fuck you, human. I'm going to gore you. They've always been really aggressive and mean in my experience.

What is the pig's primary weapon? They're tusks. They have tusks. Because the ones I know of don't have tusks. They just have soft, squishy noses. Those are the tasty kind. You can have both at the same time. They've got, I think they call them cutters.

They're these teeth that kind of jut out to the side and they rip left and right with them. They hook with them. Like imagine it's like that dinosaur that does that thing where it shakes its tail side to side. It hooks you and the thing I always hear, but remember Old Yeller?

The movie Old Yeller. Timmy or whatever the kid's name is is up the tree. Old Yeller's fighting the pigs and they disembowel Old Yeller. That's what whatever the kid's name is is up the tree. Old Yeller's fighting the pigs. And they disembowel Old Yeller. That's what they do. They go for your guts, your midsection, and hook you, tear you open. I was stupid enough to fight that one at that time. I'm lucky he didn't castrate me or something because that's right about where his head level was. But, yeah, they're dangerous to deal with.

Yep. But fun to kill because you can just – you can use all the cool – like I have so much respect for a deer that I wouldn't shoot a deer with a 20-millimeter rifle or a 50-caliber rifle. It might be a little funny, but I'd feel bad about it afterwards because he was just trying to make a living out there and be a deer. But the pig, I'm like, that's kind of an enemy. Like fuck him. Yeah, shoot him with that 20-millimeter. Let's see what will happen. Understandable.

I have sort of a last topic. As you guys knew, I flew my paramotor out of the yard. But it's something I don't normally do. And then I posted it to my Facebook page. And people have been contacting me who I haven't talked to for like 20 years. They're interested in the hobby. It's an interesting thing that you just don't see all the time. They don't think you're going to be around much longer.

So they're trying to touch base and tie up any loose ends. Tmart just texted me. I hadn't really talked to Tmart since all that news about the thing broke. He's just like, dude, this is crazy. This is cool. I'm like, yeah, I've been working on it. It turns out he watches a lot of my vlogs.

I didn't ask any prime questions or anything, but he was excited about my paramotoring. That's great. Yeah, I don't know. It's questions or anything, but he was excited about my paramotoring. That's great. Yeah, I don't know. It's a neat thing. Like a guy named Tracy. The one story I told about Tracy before,

he's a dude. He was on the football team. I liked him. He was my friend. And he got invited to compete in like whatever prelims there'd be to Miss America, like Miss New Jersey or something, because they just saw his name was Tracy and figured he was a chick. I thought that was great.

Anyway, we let Tracy drive a motorcycle for like the first time in his life. And we're like, all right, it's just like a bike, you know. You press this down, you let out the clutch, and you go. And he immediately crashed that motorcycle. He went like 100 feet. The steering wheel got like super, super wobbly. And I think he made his way and like found the only mailbox within 100 feet. The steering wheel got like super, super wobbly. And I think he made his way and found the only mailbox within 100 yards and hit that and leaned over and fell.

And he had, I don't know, probably went 75 feet before he crashed it. And he said, I want to try on the paramotor. I was like, I remember a long time ago when you said that about the motorcycle. And it didn't end well. But it's neat to me because I got people kind of like out of the woodwork, like, oh, yeah, how you doing? Woody, it's been forever. Because I'm on Facebook, but I don't really post to it or anything,

and this is like the first thing I've posted in ages. So I don't know. It's neat to me. It's good you're getting a good reception. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. It's like, it's like these people they care or at least find it interesting. So yeah That's my 1911 I Heard a loud noise earlier and that that's what I picked it up when I want to go check it out The other night I woke up and I just loaded. Yeah

The other night I woke up and I could have sworn. Is it loaded? Yeah. The other night I woke up and I could have sworn that someone was like picking the lock to my front door. They weren't. But I'm standing there at this corridor where I have a viewpoint of that lock. You know, it's got a gold like it's a deadbolt. And I'm staring at it. So it's like 3 in the morning. Right. I thought I heard something.

I could have swore as I like looked at it for a moment. I saw saw it turn and the only way it turns is if somebody's picking or turning a key from the outside ain't nobody got a key so i'm just like they picked the wrong house i'm just waiting i'm just waiting for the guy to come in so i'm gonna just be like don't move you know like i've already thought i'm like just say don't move and if he braces a gun shoot him you know and i'm just in there he's lucky you're talking to him first you do like a buffalo bill yeah i'm not gonna it's all i would never shoot first i would i would always try to take a prisoner first because i for a number of reasons but it i take off your shirt. Squeal. That sucks. It rubs the

lotion on the skin. Or it gets the hose again. Yeah, Woody thinks I'm a nice guy because I'm not just shooting first. I'm taking the prisoner, Woody. We're gonna put him in the basement in the hole. I'm not calling the cops. You're coming with me.

I stared at that lock and I was just like, after about I'm not gonna the cops. You're coming with me. I stared at that lock, and I was just like, after about, I'm not going to exaggerate, after three or four minutes of staring at it, I was like, all right, it's not turning. So I get my flashlight, and I go out there and look around. Sure, there's nothing. The lock hadn't turned a bit, but I was fucking, like, I heard and i was just like i could have swore that lock turned i was so scared my heart was pounding i thought someone was breaking in and i was staring at them with a gun i thought that was happening right in front of me glad you're safe i'm i'm glad that didn't happen uh i am i i there aren't many worse choices I can think of than to break into FPS Rush's house.

There were three guns to choose from. Right? When I freaked out and ran to grab the gun, there were three right there. One was I had my double-barreled shotgun handy, and it was loaded. It's got lights, which is the plus for it. It's heavy and cumbersome and i don't need two barrels like it's kind of a it's a it's a silly thing but it's got real bright lights already on it i got this always handy and i'm so accurate with this that i would

honestly feel comfortable shooting like yeah i know that that's kyle's first choice gun yeah i would feel comfortable shooting a um that's what you'd like to use in the event of that situation the nighthawk for me i i would i i think i also my ar-15 but the the battery on my little sight was dead um and i knew it was dead so i grabbed this i'm so accurate with this it's um it it would be uh the way to go i feel like for an interior battle where i actually get to aim um which is kind of the situation I was in. I feel like with this, it's not even about like, like if there's a hostage taker situation,

you know, the movies are like, oh my God, he shot the hostage taker. Like it would be, I could shoot the hostage taker in the eye. You know, it just wouldn't be a thing. This gun is so accurate. It's unloaded now. It's so accurate.

It's got such a good trigger. The sights are excellent, excellent sights. I shoot match ammo. It shoots very, very small groups, even off a bench rest. And I'm good with in particular, so this is definitely the way to go, for me anyway. I think you changed the sight

since I saw it in person. Painted, and I don't care for it. I don't really care for the paint job in general, but, you know, it is what it is. But it's been painted red for whatever reason. Again, it is unloaded, but the sights are kind of different sights because it's meant to be suppressed.

So it's dotted. It's like a dot over a dot. You can see instead of, like, two dots and then one in the center. And they're much taller sights to be able to look over a suppressor. Gotcha. I think it was different when I saw it. More than just the paint. It wasn't suppressed at the time.

Well, I mean, that's just screwing this thing on the end, right? Am I hearing that you changed the sights for the suppressor? Negative. That's why I love this setup. That's why I find this to be something that I really love here is because this pistol is an AAC edition Nighthawk. AAC is Advanced Armament Corporation.

I don't know if the guys are all gone now, but it was a suppressor company here in Atlanta. And so this pistol is made for this suppressor. So it's the way it's supposed to be exactly. The suppressor's like a grand. The pistol's like three grand. And I just really, really love this. That's a big suppressor.

This is a – what is this? I'm blanking. It's a Tyrant, right? Tyrant 45? So it's 445. I was going to ask if you could put it on an AR-15, for example, or something. Not an AR-15, but I've got a pile of suppressors upstairs that are.30 caliber down on anything. Gotcha.

Yeah, I talked to you the other day. I'm looking at a Sig Suer p238 uh people probably don't know that gun but it shoots a 380 which is like a shorter nine millimeter and um i don't know i i they just really caught my eye lately i've been thinking about it for like six months i'm not that impulsive when it comes to bigger purchases and i like that pistol i like the look of it like i told you i've never shot one um but what i love about it is it it's got enough grip for a man's hand um did you see the the gif of like on reddit it was like the smallest gun in a game ever or something and the guy's running around with this little little pocket pistol in the game and he's just like

like it's literally shooting it like that um i just don't think that's real conducive to a good self-defense scenario i carry the lcp but i don't trust it all that much my thought process is like this is really just the most powerful punch in the world like like don't even think about this like oh yeah i'm a marksman with this this is like a like a uh and fallout like the um whatever that fist is that you like attached your i'm not gonna shoot anybody with this. This is like in Fallout. Whatever that fist is that you attach to your – I'm not going to shoot anybody with this. I'm going to fucking stick this in your stomach and pull the trigger because that's where we are if this is going down anywhere. Yeah, I don't know that I quite consider it like just a fist distance,

but I picture it like some guy accosting you when you at the when you're filling your gas tank right like he's elevator at the w right like like he's three steps from you you know like that's the range in which i would most expect to use it if he's you know on the other side of my house or something then you know you're not ready i would miss get out of him i uh yeah and sometimes i'm like, you know, I'm not that bad of a shot with it. And then I put it to the test and it's like, you know, like, yeah. You get past like four or five yards

and you can miss more than you might guess. I'm really bad with mine. I try to be real honest about my marksmanship. With that 1911, I really am something to be that's about my marksmanship. With that 1911, I really am something that's impressive. Like, I impress myself when I shoot it. I'll shoot the fingers off the mannequin on purpose.

You know, oh, pinky now. But with that LCP, I have missed targets that are embarrassingly close. And I'm not quite sure why. There's a chance that I have the world's worst LCP and that, like, there's no rifling in the barrel. Like, I don't know if I've ever opened it up and, like, looked and seen if there's rifling in the barrel. But it operates like a smoothbore weapon. It really does. And I've shot some.

You know, I've shot smoothbore pistols. It's about that fucking accurate for me. I think in a self-defense scenario, it'll do the job just fine. It cycles fine. The bullets come out and those 380 i've got rip ammo in there just because they give me bags of it for free or they have but shit man you should it's gonna do the job it's just the the question is what is the job and that's that's that's always the case with a gun sometimes i buy guns because oh man it's cool

and i got one now and it's just there are guns like an AK or an AR-15 or a.44 Magnum caliber that it's just kind of nice to have in your collection or whatever because everybody wants one. They're in all the movies, they're in all the games. They're novel, thank you. That LCP, I kind of regret that

purchase, or at least when I got it. I bet the newer versions of it are better. I know the triggers and sights have improved. But but man it is small that's that that's its best quality it's very compact it's smooth on the outside there's nothing on the outside of that gun that catches like these sights or or you know the hammer or any of that stuff there's no uh there's no real um it's not as three-dimensional as you might it's not it's not very thick it's all smooth so that you could stick this thing in a pocket reach and grab it jerk it right out it's not gonna hang snag do anything and it's gonna go pop pop pop

and it cycles what was that last part i think i talked over you i was gonna say it's gonna go pop pop pop like seven times i don't remember the magazine capacity i think it's six plus one yep yep and uh yeah so it's all those things it's great for carrying it's not that great for marksmanship and i kind of i don't know i know the real safeties between your ears yada yada yada i think i'd like a gun with a safety on it i think i'd like the 9-11 like controls and that's how this that's i i that's one thing about the 1911 is it is most people the way it's uh it's positioned right now it's called locked and cocked i believe and a lot of people carry them that way if they carry them the hammer's back uh there's a round in the chamber um the safety uh this one doesn't have an mb safety i forgot now the uh the safety this doesn't have an ambi safety I forgot the the safety's on but all I do is flick the safety off but it's still not ready to shoot I won't do

it now because the guns fucking loaded but if I were to pull the trigger like that if I were to do that it wouldn't fire because I've got this safety back here this has to be squeezed before the gun will go off and I love that I love that feature it makes it so that it's real it's a real weird bonkers today you got to like imagine where this gun like falls through the air and the trigger gets hooked while this gets depressed for an accidental discharge to go off um that being said it's still like a hundred and something year old design and a glock is going to function better but um but i just love this this is this is my favorite i love holding this gun like i really love this gun. It's a very cool gun.

Is that a show there? We're getting pretty deep in this thing. You're about to eat in on my sieve time, and I can't be allowing that. No, we cannot. Yeah, that's a show. I enjoyed the end. I liked Drifter. He was good.

I liked him adding to politics talk. So that was a good show. That was very fun. Check his stuff out. Check out our sponsors down below. That's always very important. P.K., 305. Good night, everyone.