Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #306

Episode Date: November 4, 2016

This week on PKA, they fly solo and talk about bad topics for the show, a lot about The Walking Dead, professional wrestling and a lot of Patreon exclusive AMA questions!

Live, Painkiller Already, episode 306. Kyle? Got a few sponsors tonight. Once again, we have Smart Mouth coming back. Love them a lot. Dollar Shave Club, Movement Watches, Seeso, and Diff Eyewear. We'll talk more about them later in the show. They sent us these really cool sunglasses the other day. Links in the description down below if you want to check them out. But for now, let's get into the show show what do we want to talk about first i when we were talking about how we all had topics that the other two had no interest in whatsoever right before the show because it was like i was like i can talk about hockey all night if you guys can't think of anything and woody was

like you know i mean i just took a few more paramotoring trips i could talk about that to anyone kyle's like well i could talk about that to anyone. Kyle's like, well, I can talk about Civ strategy for hours. It's like, well, good. So then we'll all just have a series of rotating monologues while the others go to the bathroom or just do whatever they want. Yeah, I like that. So let's talk Civ. We're going to get very in-depth here.

There's going to be a lot of figures, and you're going to need some pen and paper. As Taylor was running through those things, I'm talking right over Kyle. I was like, but you know what? Mine actually is interesting. Yours is interesting at this point if you crash. If you see something really cool or do something we haven't seen before. If you did a maneuver, I'd be into that. If you did like a loop-de-loop with that thing, I'd really dig that.

But I'm going to need you to – I need some gymnastics in this guy. I need you to be a real legit airman. Look, if you're going to become Nightwing, you're going to have to step your game up at least two or three notches. That's all I'm saying. You know what? I can't argue with you. I see the same thing you do.

It's interesting to me because I'm going to new places. I launching from my house i've gone further and longer than before but uh those incremental improvements i think to a viewer are pretty minor so what about hockey interesting kyle to you hockey would be interesting to me if there were cameras on the players um i think if that if i could very or on the refs maybe no i want to go on board with the player and i would love it if there were a couple of angles like i want to see him like moving in and out of lanes but i would love i don't i guess a good hockey player doesn't look of course not he's not looking at the puck but i would love to see like maybe there's like a stick mounted cam so that I can see the stick work If I could see that I think I would appreciate this for a little bit more because as it looks it looks just like they're

Just like sweeping that thing around and it doesn't look all that hard But I know when I've seen slow-motion it looks very skillful and very cool I've seen them like flick the puck up and then hit it in the air into the net and that to me that was like But blew my mind like oh, do that what else what else do they do do they do they put it on their side and like spin it up spin charge it like sonic the hedgehog and like shoot it in i've often wondered kyle why hockey hasn't evolved more now i think the answer is people get hit right but like okay basketball people love to hear us talk about basketball because we're widely regarded as one of the world's foremost experts in basketball.

Now, Woody is more of a college basketball expert. His knowledge of the college basketball game is second to none. Let me finish my setup here. So in basketball, if you go through the 80s to now, I think you'll find that the things that they're doing just weren't done back then especially if you go to like 70s or 60s or whatever 50s of course but in hockey the game is the same but faster according to me right like it well you were playing back then right right yeah but in like the behind the back pass was like an uncommon thing when i think was it magic johnson who made it popular? Whatever.

I don't know shit. But now like every player has that in his repertoire. You know, a slam dunk was a big deal at one point. And now, you know, that's just like a normal sort of safe play that players make when they're in the paint. In hockey, on the other hand, like I haven't seen people turn hockey into lacrosse. You know, of course there's the moves. We've seen like the michigan state goal and stuff but i watched guys play it was some sort of ball hockey like deck hockey on um they played it with shoes and when they went in for a penalty shot they lifted the puck ball whatever it was up at about center ice

and then just carried it like flipping it around like it was in their hand like it was lacrosse and then they shot it have you seen this it unbelievable i've seen that it's uh i believe it's high sticking if you try and do that in a real game because you can't be it can't go go across bar or no no if yeah if it's in a shootout maybe you can i know in like the nhl you can't just be skating on the blue line into their zone and just pick the puck because every single player in the nhl could do that thing where they grab the puck and suddenly it's flat on their stick like you try and do that and you will feel like a retard because you will not be able to do it but they can just flip it right up but if

all of them have the ability to just flip it up like that and then dance into the zone like way above their head like well that's just a high. It can't go above the crossbar. But they should be able to carry it low by their knees, back and forth, doing spin moves. Like, they should hardly need the ice anymore. But that's so, it's not as efficient, though. Like, you can pay more, like, if you're doing that little tricksy stuff, there's always the chance that, like, oh, I got a little distracted by a second, you know, for a second when that 6'5 monster was barreling at me, and I ended up letting go of the puck. And instead of it sliding a little distracted for a second when that 6'5 monster was barreling at me,

and I ended up letting go of the puck. And instead of it sliding a little bit, it lifts it three feet off the ground and goes right in the corner, and their defenseman picks it up. Maybe on the shot then, right? Like now a really common maneuver is like you go around the net, and you swing it, and you try to tuck it in like the first inch. Yeah, like a wraparound. A wraparound, yeah.

But I haven't seen wraparounds just normally be pick it up in lacrosse style like shoot it somewhere how come wraparounds aren't top corner more often right that yeah that would be cool to see it's just like the problem with all this is like all of this would work if you took a goalie from the 70s and put him in net like and he'd probably just look baffled as you did it. Like, what? This is crazy. My little plaster mask and my wooden stick, I couldn't stop it.

We started out making fun of how bad of a topic hockey talk would be, and somehow we actually got into hockey talk. Because I told you, I will talk about this all night. I'm passionate about it. I was thinking about this during the week. Like, hockey hasn't advanced as a sport.

It's the same sport it was 10 years ago. Basketball is changing, for the worst, because they're all friends and there's no more rivalries. But whatever. I mean, okay. I was about to give lists of why I don't think it's exactly the same sport it was 10 years ago. And Kyle looked like he was about to have an embolism. Philly fan. Philly fan.

Okay. Here is the link. Philly fan. Philly fan. Okay. Here is the link. That is funny. Bam. You're talking so stupid. Let's talk about it for eight minutes. So let me see if I can get this queued up at zero.

All right. I am. Let me go to the big screen. I am as well. I am as well. I am all steered away. Our cameras are a little messed up, but we'll just go with it. All right, are you ready?

You're about to see why Philadelphia fans are the best fans in the NBA. Ready, set, play. I think what's really going to happen is we'll see why they're the worst fans. Perhaps. We'll see. Okay, so this guy is a big fat white guy is screaming at one of the Oklahoma City players going, fuck you, with both of his fingers up in the air, middle finger. the Oklahoma City players going, fuck you! Both of his fingers up in the air, middle finger.

And I guess this upset this 6'9 multimillionaire so much that he had to go talk to the ref about it and go, hey, that guy who works at a garage 60 hours a week, he's really pissed at me for scoring a basket. And the ref says, you need to settle the fuck down. The white guy is screaming, fuck you! He calls him by name, and the guy turns white guy is screaming, fuck you! He calls him by name, and the guy turns around, and he goes,

fuck you! And the guy turns around, and he gives him one more. He's just screaming it, making sure. That's what they want. If you're a heckler at a sporting event, that's when heckling's okay.

Heckling at comedy shows, you should be shot. But if you're doing it at a sporting event, and you can actually get the player to look at you, that is your goal. Philadelphia, never change. You are the best fans in all of fandom.

No one else backs their team. The Sixers won like, what were they, like 7-85 or something like that? I don't know much about basketball, but I know they were like the worst team in the league. Something close to, it would be 7-75, something close to that, last year's record. They're terrible. They're losing on purpose, right? It's called the process.

And they're just tanking games so that they can get top draft picks. And then they get injured, so they just keep doing that, gathering lots of really potentially great injured people or something. Whatever, basketball. But Philly fans, now this is the thing I do know about. I'm so, like, I'm proud of something you shouldn't be proud of, right? He's passionate of these hooligans. When people say Philadelphia fans booed Santa Claus, I think, fuck yeah, they did.

That Santa Claus costume wasn't even good. When they say they threw batteries at the opposing team, I think, well, what'd you expect? You can't come to Philly unmolested. Dude, they ruined the whole thing last playoffs. Like, so if you weren't following the NHL, the Flyers fans, they gave every fan these big, heavy bracelets

with, like, elastic on one side and then a battery with a light in it. And they were programmed so that throughout the game, if everybody had them on, they would go off in like patterns and in unison. And the whole crowd would just be like waves of like the team colors and like cool spellings. And it was really,

really neat. And it's like, Oh cool. All of the teams are going to have these handed out and all of the teams are gonna be able to enjoy it. I went to a lot of playoffs games. I was like, this is going to be fun.

Nope. The first game, the Flyers fans decide you know oh you know what you could do is take this the weighted plastic park and you just throw it at the refs and the players that we don't like and so thousands of flyers fans threw these heavy bracelets and they had to shut it all down in fairness to the flyers fans the people they were throwing it at they didn't like them they They did not like the Washington Capitals. That's true. That was their opponent.

We can't stop Ovechkin from scoring, but we can sure as fuck hit him with a lot of bracelets. I linked one. I'm sure you've seen this. It's been on the internet forever, but it's kind of the same thing as what you posted, except with a little bit of justice. Basically during, I guess it's a chicago

blackhawk colorado avalanche game a fan was making fun of a guy on the blackhawks like right up by the glass you know poking at his nose because the the player had taken like a shot to the bridge of his nose or something and the guy was like hey how's that feel how's that let it play out don't ruin it okay we can watch it okay watch it and we'll see what happens. That's the quick catch-up. I'm at zero. All right. Ready, set, play.

That, to this day, is still one of my favorite things. I just absolutely love it. We were playing against Colorado, and I think it was Alex Tongay tried to turn around and ice the puck. I think we were on the power play, and it clipped me with a high stick. Wow, hurt right in the mouth. I was slowly going to the bench with my trainer and a fan who was sitting right on the glass started to heckle me and just started calling me know what? I appreciate when fans pay their money and they get to boo, they get to cheer, they get to

act up and within limits and everything else. There's a guy who takes a puck in the head and you're just giving it to him through the glass. This is great. I kind of think that's kind of gutless. Watch Patrick Wadda. Watch the puck as it goes around. Bonk! It hits something.

And now Sullivan comes over. This is the fan! The face, same fan who was kicking Sullivan a hard time. And that's his wife laughing with the thumbs up. Good luck be it, Patrick Rudd got the puck behind the net and threw it over the glass. We deserve the asshole. The same fan right in the forehead, and he started bleeding probably worse than I was. probably worse than I was. And Antonio Monte yelled at me on the ice that it was the same fan,

so I just took it upon myself to go back and tell him a few words of my own. And, you know, I think his girlfriend thought it was pretty funny also. So the serendipity for the puck to go all the way back and hit the same guy in the head, that's when you know there's going to be a talky ball. So is there any chance that that was intentional, that he got hit with the puck? No. No, because it was Patrick Waugh, the goalie, trying to clear it.

And so that would have had to be, honestly, one of the best intentional hockey shots in history if Patrick Waugh tried to hit him. I choose to believe that. I imagine he's zooming in on his pupil, and it turns into one of those mechanized pupils. He's got the Arnold Schwarzenegger Terminator vision as he

target acquired and he fucking takes him out. That's one of the best things about how hockey players can react a bit to hockey fans that you can't get in other sports. Like that guy in the NBA, he couldn't yell back and go you know what? No, fuck you! Fat guy in the Sixers jersey. He would have got fined

out the ass because the NBA, more popular. So they got to take it more seriously and have their pink breast cancer socks or whatever. And near the end of that clip, after the guy's being helped by arena officials, the player just leaves and bangs on the glass right next to the guy being like, oh, hey, looks like he got what you asked for, huh? Oh, you like that? I'm making fun of the pros, eh? That's what you get right in the nose, you know, doing shit like that.

I love it. I feel like the NBA guys could have done it. Hockey players have a certain, like, restraint, I thought. Like, what do they do, tap the glass with a stick? You can get away with that. If the NBA guy was like, oh, look, I'm a fat fan, then, like, I think he would have gotten away with that, I think. In the 70s, Mike Milbury went up into the stands and beat fans with a

shoe. A player, Mike Milbury, now he announces. Now, hang on. You are aware that Ron Artest did the same fucking shit, right? And when he got up in there, he didn't horse around. He wasn't hitting anybody with a shoe. He was hitting them with his big

fucking hand as hard as he could. And the best part is he hit the wrong fucking guy. The dude who actually hit him with the beer is over there like, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, story, like his side of it. He's like, dude, like it was crazy. Like he has PTSD from this. Like, oh, yeah, I was fighting for my life. Like someone threw a plastic beer in his direction and he got wet, which I'll admit I hate that too.

I feel like I smell like beer and whatever. It's an unpleasant thing to have to go through. He was laying on the bench with a towel on his face. I think he just had done like 30 minutes on the court or something you know he was burnt and and but he had enough energy for that he oh he found a second window that white but like did he get suspended or fined or anything big yes like he did okay well mike milbury going up there and fighting fans like I'll have to go back and look. I'm sure they gave him a little bit of punishment, but it was hockey in the 70s, so it was mostly like, hey, from now

on, Milbury, you're going to have to keep it on the ice. You know, we can't suspend you. You're the best player on the team. We just, you gotta keep up in the stands and start beating fans with shoes and sticks. You got all your pass cards. They're just up there, angry at you because you're losing.

I love Canadian accents. you're lucid. You know? I love Canadian accents. They're fucking hilarious. Or Irish ones. I was about to say, here in the Irish Hockey League, we don't play that football. In the Irish Hockey League, there's not a lot of players. No puck shaped like a shamrock. New topic. Where are we going from here? I don't know. I wish I knew more stories about fans getting hurt at sports games.

I do like – was it Ty Domi who like the – a player was like harassing him over the glass and the glass broke and he fell in the penalty box with Domi? Yes. I believe it was with Ty Domi. So you know how penalty boxes work, Kyle. A guy was up on there shaking it, being like, and Ty Domi was an enforcer for the Leafs. I believe he was on the Leafs at the time.

And he was shaking the glass, and of course it's like rattling a cage where the gorilla's in. You're like, I'm safe, ha ha ha. And then the glass paint fell through. And Ty Domi was not like, hey, we got to help this guy get back in the stands. He was like, oh, you wanted to fight, did you? He gave him one. He popped him. I think he gave him several, right?

Or did he just, like, muscle him around? Even in the announcement, if I recall, maybe I'm thinking of something else. They were like, oh, you can't be hitting fans like that. That's just awful. I mean, he was harassing Domi in the box, though. What was he expecting? That's outrageous. Ty Domi was a dirty motherfucker.

I did not like him very much. What's that old movie with the salad dressing guy? Slapshot. I like when he puts the bounty out on the other player. What's that old movie with the salad dressing guy? Slapshot. The hockey movie. Yeah. I like when he puts the bounty out on the other player. They're like, you can't put a bounty on someone. He's like, I just did.

I just did. It's done. Dude, the bounty's – I always thought that movie was just okay, but the guys on my beer league hockey team, oh, my gosh. It was like a religion to them. They were so into that movie. They would quote it in the locker room pregame all the time.

Guys would pretend to put tinfoil on their knuckles and shit. Those brothers. They all looked like Garth from Wayne's World. With Hanson hair or something like that. And they just didn't give a fuck. You just see all three of them beating the shit out of somebody in every game. That was a good movie. They're like getting dressed in the locker room was never like, you know,

getting my shoulder pads adjusted and all this. It was always like how to best prepare your fighting implements. Like, oh yeah, this will hurt, you know. Get some rental crap around this and ball it up. Let's do the political round table that we did in the missing drunk episode. So we spend a little time, however long you think you need, to tell your story of the state of the political scene right now. Taylor, you go first. I don't think there's any chance that trump wins and just yeah he's such a shit show

and he's doing so badly he's demonstrated that he he doesn't care about the future movement like at this point i really do feel like he's just throwing out bits that will incite people who are already behind him so that after this is all over, he can go, hey, sign up for, you know, TV by Trump or Trump TV and pay $10 a month and you can get my position on all this. And basically he just needs to get enough people to sign up for something like that. Like, I really think that he's just doing it now. He's like, I know I'm going to lose, so I'm going to make it so that I can blame everybody as soon as it happens. Not my fault.

It's not because I'm a terrible candidate. It's because of the Republicans. It's because of the never Trump. It's because of this, that, and the other thing. Couldn't be me. I'm Donald Trump. I mean, I'm, you know. Like, and that's aggravating to see that he's still out there,

like, actively harming the conservative movement by poisoning people against each other like i really i just don't at this point i really fucking hate the guy more than i did even a few weeks ago like he's just a walking travesty and i totally understand why people would vote johnson or stein or whatever like i almost wish i could like or i do if i could like magically manipulate the numbers that like johnson won, that'd be fucking great. Like, get him in there instead of either of these people. Like, it's just, it is so sad.

And I'm just going to come get him. I think Taylor's outed himself as a rigger, right? I think you're a bit of a rigger. No, no, I don't. I think that. If you could magically alter the polls, rigger. No, no, not polls. Like, the actual results,

I'm saying. Oh, I said it wrong, but you're still a rigger. Like, if I could magically pick the president right now, like, and just say, oh, it's gonna be, is it Trump? Is it Hillary? Like, no, just put Gary Johnson in there. Like, fuck both of them. No. Like, but obviously I can't do that. If I could, I would pick the riggers, you know? But

I don't think it's rigged. I don't think the polls are rigged like everybody on the Trump team is saying, because just like everybody critiques them for the polls are evil and awful. And oh, look at this. Democrats are sampled at plus 10. You know, I was suspicious. And it's like, OK, I mean, I look at motives in business a lot. Hang on a minute. This is a discussion. I look at motives in business a lot. Hang on a minute. This is a discussion.

Start the parade. I look at motives in business a lot when we talk about – I know we're supposed to have that. We had a format. Left our format. Yeah, we've left our format. I'll go right back to it. These people put their reputation and careers on the line for accuracy. Like that's their thing.

They're going to be graded against how the election goes. So they're working – they'd be working against their own self-interests to mess up the polls and get it wrong. Anyway, where I think it is, I think Trump is way behind. I think it's too late for him to catch up. I think it's interesting that he's pimping his own hotel, ribbon-cutting ceremonies and shit like that, when normally a candidate would be running for president.

He's like, well, today is a hotel day. Like, fuck it. But it looks like the Democrats are going to take the presidency. They're going to take the Senate. They're not going to take the House. It looks like the Democrats are going to get more votes, but they won't get more seats because of the way things are gerrymandered in the

House. That kind of sucks about U.S. politics. I wish that they represented the votes a little better. But it's... Alright. I wish that they represented the votes a little better. But it's... All right. I guess that's it. I've never had an election where I really disliked both candidates before, but hopefully it doesn't happen again.

Kyle? I agree with pretty much everything both of you have said. It's been a real fun show. I've really enjoyed this thing so far. I got everything I wanted, I think, pretty much. I really wanted Trump to get up there and call Hillary Clinton names to her face. That's what I wanted. From the very start, that's what I was waiting for and longing for was for someone who was so awful to be able to just call her a name in front of millions and millions of americans and

for millions more americans to sit at home and be like yeah she is a nasty woman isn't she glad somebody called her one at least i mean i won't vote for that guy i'm still voting for the the one who's not insane doesn't well i bet i built hillary i bet hillary's grabbed more pussy than donald has frankly but let's just be real here. But it's been a real shit show in an election. I think it's been a bad example for the world. I am a little ashamed of what we did here. I'm a little ashamed of what both parties did.

The Republicans just sort of, it seemed like they were trying to like, and the things just like flew out of their hands. They're just like, all the cards hit the floor. But the Democrats are the opposite. They're stacking the deck against the American people. You see where this little analogy is going with the card playing? I got it. Okay.

The Republicans can't shuffle the cards. They're just falling out of their hands and just huge mess in their laps. And the Democrats are stacking the deck against the American people. That's the difference. But the end result is the same. Two really shitty candidates. I thought the last time, I thought Obama was okay. So I guess he's not. But the time before that, George Bush versus Gore, that was pretty rough, right? I feel like bush doesn't pull that out unless yeah you're absolutely right yeah yeah that's the one i hate oh that was when we had the swift boats and everything so that was a new that that's yeah that that level of of of like political

bullshit i'm okay with like yeah make fun of his war record sure throw that dirt in his face like oh you're super packed did it anyway right you just alluded to it that's okay but this time around you can if we can literally get someone up on stage to call uh hillary clinton a dirty name that was that was my entertainment value and i got it but man an embarrassment for the world uh and for the country um an end result that can't there's no there's no there's no win here that's the thing right like like the people who would abhorred me for voting for trump i'm like well look we're fucked either way it's just like do you want to burn to death or do you want to drown?

That's what we're looking at here. It's a shitty choice either way. Trump isn't going to ruin the country. There's no reason to leave if he were to win, and I agree with you guys. He's not going to win. But if he did win, we'd be just fine. And if Hillary wins, probably going to be just fine too.

It's little stuff that I'm worried about and it's the Supreme Court appointments most of all that I'm worried about. But we're just going to go in a different direction. And we saw that a couple times. And it's a big direction. It's not like we're going to lean this way or that way. It's going to be a right turn.

No. Hillary is way more moderate than people are getting. You don't think Bush took us on? All right, look at Bush winning over Gore and how the parallel universes diverge there. Gore doesn't go into Iraq. Gore doesn't waste trillions.

ISIS never becomes a thing. Gore is a completely different alternate universe that the world and the United States is in a much better place. Yeah, it's much better for us specifically. And for all those hundreds of thousands and millions who have been killed around the world by us and as a result of us. And the things that we've done.

And by us, I mean the United States. I ain't do shit. We're not going to vote. I just want to call out, people are making out Hillary as if she's some super liberal whatever. She's not. Hillary as if she's like some super liberal whatever. She's not. One of the Republicans didn't hate Bill

in that he like shifted the whole Democratic movement to the right. He did things that were more conservative than Reagan did. So if Hillary follows the mold that she had always had kind of in Bill's shadow

then she's not going to be quite as as liberal as people it became apparent although with the guns like a super liberal like it became apparent that hillary wasn't like the uber liberal when she was talking to bernie or having those debates i didn't watch the whole things i just like watched clips but it was clear that on pretty much every issue it was like hillary saying something that she thought would appeal to most democrats and sanders had like you know the the actual far left policies but regardless of who wins i really fucking hope they're one-term presidents like no matter like that's my prediction i have been playing battlefield one still liking it. I suck at it. But I have a strategy. People, if you're good at Battlefield 1, tell me how you get good in the comments.

Just leave a tip in there. I'll check it out. But here's the strategy that I'm trying to work right now. In Call of Duty, to get something done, you have to be pretty strong. If you want to take B-dom in Call of Duty, usually it takes two or three kills and then you might need another kill or two while you're taking it. It takes a little period of dominance

to push back the other team, own the middle of the map, and get your kills. You can go around the edges and just work kills because you're a fucking non-objective playing pussy, but to really play domination right and own the middle of the map except you've got to get some kills. In Battlefield 1, it's big.

So what I'm trying to do is spot their weakest points. If I see five people really going at it at some flag, I try to go for the other one. I'm trying to find the weakest spot because you can play in Battlefield without running into tons of players. And I think this might be a good strategy. Rather than go in and me try to get five or six kills in a row

and then own an objective, which I can't do right now, I'm trying to find weak areas and play that way. I don't know if this is smart or not. So far, everything I do is bad. I think you can help your team. I haven't played Battlefield 1, but just from what I know about Battlefield, it seems like the biggest thing that a new player can do to help his team

is play the support role and be the medic or whatever it is and be reviving them. I saw a funny meme, and it was something about when I get revived after I've been burnt and there's these crispy bodies reanimated. Like, this is agony! Every moment is agony. Why did you revive me? Let me die! Yeah. I like that about Battlefield, that everything

becomes a weapon just as it would in a real Battlefield. So you'll hit them with the electrodes or you'll stab them with a syringe and kill them. There's all kinds of stuff that not electrodes of course defibrillator pads that was cool i remember the uh uh those guys made the uh the rl uh version of that where they're running around with the defibrillator killing people i wonder if that would actually kill someone outright if you just gave them a solid zap. I'm sure it would kill some people.

It depends on how bad your heart is. I bet it wouldn't. Go ahead, Kyle. Maybe you have some insight. I think you'd want to put that gel on them first, right? So you make sure you're getting contact because if you just stick them to skin, you're not getting full conductivity. So you want to put that gel on there first.

And I think that thing has adjustable settings. I know there's emergency ones that they put in buildings, and I think it's more of a basic version. It's just like charge, ready, jump. I think it even tells you shock now or something like that. But I think maybe the ones the hospitals have, you can dial that puppy on up. So I would imagine that, yeah, you could use it as a lethal weapon, especially if you stuck it to their head. Oh, they would definitely kill someone if you just stuck it on their head. I feel like if you didn't put the – we've all seen The Green Mile, and you know what happens if you don't put the wet sponge underneath the hat that they put on you in the electric chair.

You just basically fry there. I love that you cited your source because a lot of people would just act like it was true. You, on the other hand, provided your study. It is from The Green Mile. It's a movie from the 90s, and I trust it with every fiber of my being. It's a Stephen King novel from the 80s. Yes, yes. I've read the book.

One that it's not that much better than the movie, honestly. The movie, they did a really good job. And I love the movie. We got Tom Hanks in there, and you got, oh, what's his name? The poor guy died playing Mr. Coffee. John Coffee. Yeah, I don't know what his name. Oh, Michael Clark.

Duncan Clark. Yeah, yeah, that guy was great. He was really good in Planet of the Apes. Huge commanding presence and a good actor at the same time, which you don't always see. I mean, he had Andre the Giant back in the day. It was just like, ah, this guy's really got some acting chops, huh? That's why Arnold Schwarzenegger was able to succeed so much

is because they were like, well, we can get Andre the Giant or we can get Arnold Schwarzenegger. And they're like, all right, Arnold sounds like an eloquent speech giver compared to this borderline mongoloid. Arnold? Arnold? Help me with my annunciation. I didn't understand as a kid watching The Princess Bride

how someone's voice could sound like that. Just, it made the bullshit boob tube glass screen on my TV almost like shake with the non-existent bass in that tv like it was so deep and loud it was like this is someone who he had gigantism right or was he just naturally very very long andre the giant yeah yeah i think he had

gigantic his fingers you could i want to say you could put an egg through his ring finger and there's if you if you're out there and you don't know much about andre the giant you should just google him and like look up some of the information about him because there's all these like fascinating facts about him like the amount of alcohol that he would regularly drink you know a guy who's 500 pounds 600 pounds whatever he was i think maybe six he can't yeah a beer is nothing a beer in his hand yeah in his hand it looks teeny it looks like one of those mini cokes when he holds and he just he could just like he could just squirt it in

his mouth and it'd be gone but so he would drink like pitchers of beer and and and huge amounts of liquors uh to actually get drunk uh he was he was really interesting he seemed like a really really nice guy where he got like so drunk he passed out in like a hotel lobby or something and usually they would have people help you get to your room but for him they said to be like you know we don't have a forklift and we don't have like you know the strongman convention until next week so we can't fucking move this guy you know so we're just gonna put like a carpet over him or a blanket over him and you only need one man you need you need fucking hollywood hulk hogan to get in there i've seen him do it did you have you guys seen the yes but i don't give him the same credit you do hogan's got

him and he's just like no i've never seen that we'll have to look at the clip because i want to compare kyle's memory to mine in my memory andre the giant like tries to help him and jumps up hogan is like and he flips him over and puts him down doesn't like he's not holding him saying i've got this man he just barely holds him and then sort of rolls him over the way i remember i agree it wasn't like he didn't have him like he wasn't samson he wasn't atlas holding up the earth or anything but close enough he gets him and the way i remember he holds him up not, not above his head, but on his shoulders, with his arms and back and everything, for like

a good three, four seconds. It kind of gives, you know, Hulkmania is running wild at this point, and in case you're unfamiliar, he is in a state of complete invulnerability during said Hulkmania. When he Hulked out, he'd start

looking all crazy and shaking, and the guy he's fighting would start just decking He'd Hulk out, and he'd start looking all crazy and shaking. And the guy he's fighting would start just decking him in the face, and he'd just take it, and he'd be like, uh-uh, no, uh-uh. Hulk's looking at him, shaking his head, uh-uh, uh-uh. That ain't going to work. And the guy hitting him would just start looking scared. Oh, no, what is this? Bam!

It doesn't even hurt him. And then he'd just go, Hulkamania would run wild on them, and he'd just kick the shit out of them. wild on them and he just kicked the shit out of it and uh and so yeah let's get the clip of hulk mania watch a lot of wrestling no not at all i'm hunting for it it's it's not easy i don't under i feel like it's kind of just like um like i thought south park was making fun of it when they did that video where they're like this isn't wrestling with that and but really they're kind of being true like it is just like i don't think the people watching it believe it's

real i think they just are enjoying watching the whole production in the show it's like a drama right now it is now it is there was a time when you know kids believe oh i'm sure kids do yeah kids will always believe um and that's the best part is when you still believe. Here's the clip I linked you. Did you find it? Yeah. This is like a crazy... Look at the little referee man

walk past both of those people in the beginning. That's a normal-sized man. And then Hulk Hogan, who's like 6'6", looks small compared to Andre the Giant. So I'm queued up at 22. Can you guys? Look at those boots. You don't want to see the lead-up?

This is classic theater here. I just clicked on it. Did you timestamp, Linkett? You wouldn't skip past all the hiking in Lord of the Rings. Yeah, I did not timestamp it. Let's go from zero. It's only a minute and 50 long anyway. Okay, okay.

Ready, set, I All right ready set play Andre's wearing flats. He is like wrestling shoes, you know, like no soul Please don't hurt me But do the best I can here. But you've got to help me, brother. You've got to help me right now because you are huge. Oh, big right hand blocked by the champion. Here it is.

Oh, it didn't happen. Oh, he couldn't lift him. But he slipped down. You know, that was like the first real attempt. I don't know. I think it's part to build the drama. Was that really it? I think he's gonna do it for reals. No, I remember it better than that. Are you sure you found it? I mean the title is Hulk Hogan Body Slams Andre the Giant. I think it's coming. Let's give it 40 more seconds.

This is classic wrestling anyway. Oh, there's a... Both men are down. Andre's quarter man is trying to revive him. He's shaking the big man's head. Andre doesn't even know how to pretend to be in pain. Oh, my God. He's lost his bandana. He's off.

He's on all fours. He's shaking his head. He's shaking that silken hair. He's hulking up. Oh, he's hulkingken hair. He's hulking up! Oh, he's hulking up! Gosh! Here he comes! He's hulking up! The P.E. is running wild as a cat.

Sure is. Yes! That was not this. That was like, urgh. Yeah, that's what you're waiting for. Leg drop. It's a win! That was not this. That was like... Remember when you were like seven and you'd be like, I can pick you up, dad. And you stand there and he just kind of goes up on his tippy toes and you're like, I'm so strong.

That's what that was. It's really easy to throw Hulk Hogan or the giant around when he helps you with the jump you know yeah he didn't lift him at all he just sort of like followed through yeah i agree a lot yeah yeah totally so but it's wrestling so the way i picture it so that it's entertaining it he fucking body pressed him twice and And Andre's corner man was doing like the crazy Rocky punches to Hulk's ribs the whole time and he was

just hulking out, shaking his head no. And then he squashes the corner man with Andre the Giant and takes the belt. That's what I saw. When I was a kid, wrestlers didn't admit it was fake. It wasn't a thing. Now, you know guys, their faces, their heels. You know why, right? There was a whole congressional thing. Like, they were class guys, their faces, their heels. You know why, right? There was a whole congressional thing. Like, they were

classifying it as, whether it was going to be classified as entertainment or sport, because sports are held to a higher standard, you know, as far as congressional oversight, apparently. You know, you see the steroid stuff. They were coming down on wrestling, which is inter-fucking-tainment

about their steroid practices and drug testing standards and stuff like that, which seems like bullshit to me. If you want to get juiced up and go out there and wrestle and literally just be a spectacle, then why not? So when did this happen? When did they come out?

If you Google it, you get the whole thing. I don't want to misquote history or whatever, but there's a whole thing that happened where they had to basically come out as entertainment, as world wrestling entertainment. I think there was a whole rebranding. I remember there was a thing about that. Oh, did they want to say that they were a sport?

Because on television, they had to be classified as either sports or entertainment. The way I remember it, I could be wrong, is that they had to be classified as sports or entertainment for television. And they went to entertainment and kind of admitted that they were fake. But prior to that, they pretended that they were a sport. And when reporters and stuff asked if it was fake, they would hit the reporter.

They'd be like, does this feel fake to you? And, like, go nuts. And I just remember. He's going into reporter mania. Dude, it was crazy. And yeah, so yeah, I remember that they hit a couple of reporters. People were mad. There were lawsuits.

Like it wasn't. But I'm sure those reporters were fake too, right? I don't think it was. You guys did not like being called fake. The F word was a very dirty word for them. It meant everything you gotta understand so they figured look the best way to sell our sport to the to everyone make these fools believe is to smack them in the mouth oh yeah and so i imagine that the macho man was

in charge of things back at that point um so so i think that he you know put it out there yeah just give them a smack in the mouth ask them if they feel like it's fake of course it was fake these guys with their faces painted rappelling down from the ceiling to fight another enormous man right like I'm four years old with my papa being like really damn that guy's a scorpion man all right right, so they got a scorpion man. Oh, God. This is a lot cooler than basketball or the other sports. Who does win, scorpion man or parrot man?

I don't know. Coco, beware. I remember thinking, well, if Hulk doesn't beat that scorpion man, someone should probably shoot him before he leaves the stadium because he's going to go around stinging people. He's got that mask. It was a whole thing. They didn't admit they were fake.

And I kind of like that. They should have kept their Santa Claus thing going and always that little bit of, in the back of your head, even adults who know what's up would be like, well, I don't know. I think every now and then, they actually do get a little angry and it is real.

Some of it is real. Of course, there's some drama and a schedule and some architecture about how the show is going to go. But, yeah, I think they really are mixing it up sometimes. But now we know that's bullshit, that they're slamming each other and they're slapping each other around a little. But we've seen UFC now. We know what happens when a big, massive, strong man hits another. He goes unconscious. Yeah. Now, it bleeds another. He goes unconscious. Yeah.

Now, it bleeds everywhere. The gymnastics are real. And some of the hits hurt. And these guys sacrifice their body. I'm told Kurt Angle right now can barely walk around. And he's all sore. And he moves awkwardly. And what's that?

His neck back in the day. I know. So they have a physically demanding job. but it's just not a real sport. AMA question. The top one there. What's the progress on the... Real quick, on the wrestling thing, can I say one more thing? I was just trying to look it up.

So apparently there's a term, and I can't fucking find it. It says shoot, where in the middle of a fake wrestling match, like a professional wrestling match, one person person like you said will get so upset that they will start fighting for real and i guess that maybe it's called shoot shooting on someone where you're like taking you know unwanted advances where they think you're going to come in for the fake like stomp an elbow and you actually do a real double leg and take them down apparently there's a ton of videos out there of like not quite wwe but like minor league wwe like the farm teams or whatever the hell they

would be and those people getting furious because i guess when you're 42 years old and you've never wrestled in more in front of more than like 60 people and some young gun makes you look like a fool because that's what was scripted out because you're like the grizzled bad guy like they actually get upset so i'm trying to find a good one of those have you heard of that before no but it sounds awesome i can imagine a scenario where like two guys are supposed to wrestle and you hurt me you're not supposed to hurt me that much or in that way or now my nose is bleeding that's not in the script like you fucked up and now i'm like genuinely mad at you so that doesn't happen shooting you shoot fights that's what it's going that's so i know yeah i know a little bit about this it's a real sad thing that happens with the low end of wrestling well i guess anything right like like

if you're the guy who just wants to be in the big show but you're actually on the bottom rung it's a rough fucking life and i don't know if you ever seen the movie the wrestler but a lot of that's very very very true and accurate um they have a hard time and and they can't they don't know if you've ever seen the movie The Wrestler, but a lot of that's very, very, very true and accurate. They have a hard time, and they can't – they don't get mad at each other. They're out there to put on that show, and they love it. They want more people to watch them do that show, and they're sacrificing their bodies on purpose. I don't think they're ever hurting each other on purpose, really, but they're definitely hurting – or excuse me. I don't think they're hurting each other because they're mad. Like, oh, you hit a double leg on me

now I'm pissed I'm going to actually pop you one I think it's more like they're out there to a lot of the wrestling now like the low end stuff seems to be really hardcore lots of blood and thumb tacks and razor wire and crazy shit like that what are you saying doesn't happen

yeah I don't think that they let their feelings get mixed up. And I think the two wrestlers are like actors. So you're saying a shoot is not a thing, that that never happens? I mean, sure. Maybe it happened once. But what I'm getting at is the other thing you got to keep in mind is it's not like minor league baseball where there's a whole minor league league, like a farm team and everything. You can just kind of, hey, I'm a wrestler.

Or you can also be like, i'm a wrestler and and or you can also be like yeah i'm big joe i run a wrestling show from town to town you know there's i don't i don't know that there's any certification in this shit because it is entertainment so there's a lot of like really low rent stuff at high school gymnasiums and vfws and stuff where who knows what happens you know it's just it's not like it's Bret Hart out there, some guy who's basically an actor who happens to just be 6'6 and 220. It might just be some redneck who wants to hurt

somebody who watched too much Diamond Dallas Page back in the day. He actually thinks it's real. So it is. I'm watching one right now where a guy loses it and actually starts beating someone with... let me link it to you. It is clearly not the highest up level of wrestling.

So go to like 450, basically to catch you up to this point. One of the wrestlers has been, like I'm not a wrestling expert, so it's kind of hard for me to see exactly what's going on but i'm assuming that the guy in the vest is unhappy that the other guy isn't taking his hits as seriously so like the fake hits you're supposed to absorb that and like go with it you know for the show so if you stand there and you just go like haha and they're like fake hitting you and you're just not moving it makes the other guy look like an asshole there's a term for that do you know the term does anyone know the term i don't know the term but if you start you're supposed to sell it or i shucks i bet there's a wrestling fan out there right now he's like oh yeah they're they're not selling it would be sell it yeah you need to sell it like if you go to 450 450 uh is when you see that kind of

start to deteriorate and then you see the vest guy pick up a real implement and start swinging and hitting the other gender. You want to watch this in sync? I'd love to. Start at 450? Yeah, 450. Kyle, are you ready? Yeah.

Ready, set, play. Ooh, is that a real hit or no? New Jack opted for the first option. Well, what seemed to start off as a pro wrestling match quickly turned real as Jippo Joe started to no-sell his punches. No-sell. New Jack then started to legitimately hit him with an aluminum bat wrapped in barbed wire. And the hostile crowd soon realized that the violence was for real. Yeah, he actually starts beating this guy with whatever he just pulled out of the ring. And that's not a breakaway back. I believe that was a legal knee.

But nevertheless, Kubota had to actually stop the match due to unnecessary roughness. Which was odd since it was a hard one. The reminder that it's actually real. It wasn't welcome back to Tennessee. Koji Kito! Yeah, and then the next one, Earthquake vs. Koji Kito. Have you guys ever heard of them? I haven't either.

One of them probably dies in the next one, Earthquake vs. Koji Kito. Have you guys ever heard of them? I haven't either. One of them probably dies in the next two minutes. Dude, he hit a guy with a baseball bat with barbed wire on it. And all the barbed wire came off. I always thought the barbed wire would be more effective than that. I guess it wasn't well done. I guess not. My God. Look at this.

This guy looks like the carpet at a dentist's office. You know, like that weird pattern. I flip back to the main screen. Oh, no. He's kind of a white-balled sumo wrestler in his spare time. Oh, yeah, right. So, yeah, I'm glad we did a little wrestling talk. Yeah, I wish I had more expertise because I think wrestling talk can be fun.

For guys, I watched a video on why wrestling is great, and I forget which wrestler he followed. Wrestling is not great. It sucks. It's so lame. It really does. Does it? The guy, he made a YouTube video.

It was, like, almost 20 minutes long, and he detailed the career path of somebody. I forget. It wasn't like a main, main super guy. And he made it so interesting. He explained how The Undertaker never loses at WrestleMania. And he explained how his favorite guy wasn't. Who's the one who just wins?

He's really good looking. John Cena. Apparently John Cena just wins. He's really good looking. John Cena, right? Apparently John Cena just wins. I'm not an expert on this stuff, but he just wins all the time. And for him, that makes him kind of boring. I think it might have been, I'm gonna screw up who it was.

But he was going through the guy's timeline and how he would get close and not get there, get close and not get there, and finally he had his moment in the sun. And I was just like, wow, this is a really interesting story. I don't know that i'd want to follow it for a decade to watch it unfold but in this 17 minute video i'm digging it a lot and uh um yeah so i i feel like wrestling's fun to just catch up on every now and then i don't really want to watch it in real time so this is uh this i

heard about this on ona years ago this is probably the last thing from wrestling so basically uh apparently this guy the shock master was meant to be the next big wrestling guy like they were setting him up to be the john cena like the guy that was going to come in and take down all the evildoers and be like, oh man, Shockmaster's coming in. He's going to set the score straight. And this was his intro. And as he is coming out... Do we watch the whole thing or do you want to find a time stamp? Let's see how long it is.

It's a minute 30. Minute 32? I think we should watch the whole thing. All right. I'll give you a quick summation of what happens. Actually, no, I won't. I'll get your genuine reaction. It goes badly. Alright, ready, set, play.

I'm gonna let Dane tell the people who the secret partner is gonna be. All I have to say is, all I have to say is, our partner is going to shack the world

because he is none other than the SHACK MASTER! Hurrah! The Shack Master! Woo! Oh god! Oh no! ...exactly equal to a wall. Nobody tells him there's a 254 at the bottom. And the person runs in. Oh my, he can't see anything.

He's blind. That guy looks scary. Is it the mullet? Yeah, of course. So you're the man that rules the world they call me the shock master You've ruled the world long enough sit vicious Get ready Come on, you want a piece of me?

You want a piece of me? That's a cheap costume Yeah, it's a stormtrooper. It's a stormtrooper mask with fucking glitter on it. At the fall. It's just a bedazzled stormtrooper helmet. It's just like grab shit from around the room. They're like, I'm the shock master.

If you guys can't actually see it, it is not being hyperbolic. It is literally a bedazzled, sparkled, stormtrooper helmet. You can see the lines where the Stormtrooper's like breathing apparatuses. So basically he runs through. Nobody tells him, hey, there's a two by four. You got to jump over that. So he runs into it, trips headfirst, falls through the wall.

His helmet immediately comes off. So the first thing you see of him is him falling and frantically scrambling for his helmet to put it back on. And the best part about it is apparently I can't confirm it because I don't watch wrestling, but apparently he went from the doer of good who is going to save the wrestling world from Sid Vicious to

the foil that always loses. Does he have to fall more? Yes, he became this character. He was a bumbling idiot who only fell and ruined everything. That'd be great. Every time he enters the rainy trips on the lower rope, just like,

Sir Vicious, I am going to end your rules. How they keep going with the dialogue, like they just had to pretend like it didn't happen. That would be so upsetting to be the shock master and be like i had the world on a silver platter and a two by four robbed it from me less than all the other guys and i have to still wear this horrible he's wearing a fur vest and a sparkly yeah the rest of the costume is just as bad i could could put... That costume is awful.

That's terrible. Like, the wrestling back at that point really was pretty awful. Did you see Sid Vicious? Like, look at that guy. He's on so many steroids, he actually is mad at the Shockmaster. He admits what he said. He really does want to beat up the Shockmaster for breaking that wall. He's seriously angry.

A lot of those guys, those steroids really aren't, the way they were abusing them, who was it, Brett? I don't want to say the wrong guy. I don't want to say the wrong guy, but there was that guy who went crazy and killed his family and then hung himself, right?

Whoever that guy was, that was a terrible story. I remember that. Yeah, football players sometimes, they blame it on the um the helmets you know banging into each other the post-concussion syndrome and stuff can't can't help it i agreed um but also i wonder if the roid rage sometimes you know impacts their behavior too sure i i would i wouldn't be surprised if they if you know they got a whole cocktail of fucking them up yeah all kinds of drugs going in their body and uh it's not like

they're bad drugs is is built like john goodman and he's going up against sid vicious who you can't tell by the voices but if you watched it sid vicious is a that is an apt name for this gentleman he looks like the kind of guy who would who'd actually kill you he looks vicious and this doughy piece of shit basically falls into Sid Vicious' house and then has the audacity to yell at him for it. And of course then Sid Vicious is like getting too into the character. He's got the rage.

I don't know if we spelled it out quite well enough for the listening audience, but this guy is supposed to be making a big entrance. He's running through a wall. He's supposed to be like, I'm the juggernaut, bitch! As he crashes through a wall and looks all powerful. He falls through some sheetrock and trips and is on his hands and knees trying to gather his cheap stormtrooper's helmet. He looks like an overweight trick-or-treater who just embarrassed himself in front of his friends.

Yeah, you know how when you drop something made of foam, it falls kind of slowly, and then it does a little like ting bounce or it goes like ding you know like it bounces up even slowly and then it falls again that's what this guy's armor helmet did when it fell off his head it fell down and like tink and it was so clearly just a light like pick it up with the pinky kind of helmet so uh you're gonna uh you got some pretty cool halloween costume plans right yes i'm gonna be ramsey bolton um and then melissa is going to be reek and so she's uh she's really in the middle of making our costumes right now she's got a lot she's still has to make my whole costume and the thing we're going to on saturday night where everybody's all dressed up so hopefully she can finish it but it should be really neat that uh Flayed Man banner that I showed you, she made that.

Oh, really? I thought you bought that. Yeah, I thought you bought that. No, she painted that, and then it looks great. It looks exactly like the fact that you thought she's going to be happy to learn that you thought we bought that. Both of us. That's really neat. I ordered an $80 bow and arrow off of Amazon because I wanted to have the bow that didn't look horrible

because basically in the world of bows you either spend nine dollars and you get like the little Hercules like a little suction cup at the end or you spend two hundred dollars and you get like the Black Griffin or something crazy and I just tried to find somewhere in the middle and like as soon as i hit order on amazon i heard from melissa and she's like oh i found one at the store it's only 20 bucks it'll be fine i'm just gonna stain it and then stain the the arrow so it looks good so i went in canceled it thought i canceled it because it said your order is being canceled i guess i should have read it as has not been canceled yet yeah and i came home today to a very large box with a

very large bow and arrow. Can we see the bow? I haven't even opened it because I'm sending it back. You know, that's what... So, I was reading that grocery stores across America are going, like, they're having huge problems because millennials are not buying at grocery stores. There's apparently

what they call a permanent shift in buying patterns that we've never seen before. Everyone from their like, I'm making up numbers, 30 and older, has been buying at grocery stores and then club stores like Costco and Sam's and there's more. And that's how they buy stuff, at least groceries and things like that. Now they're going to Amazon for everything. And it's this permanent shift in the way that I'm looking. Do we have any sponsors that this conflicts with? No, we're cool. They're buying all their stuff

online now. And I thought it was interesting because I also, even though I feel like despite the fact that I'm 43, I kind of act like a 25-year-old sometimes. And it's certainly true in my buying patterns. I've been talking forever about how i just buy something online instead of going to like costco or something like my father would it's more effective can i just jump in and say why that's

better like like because some people don't get it it's about it's about getting in front of your own procrastination it's it's like i can click this and it will happen forget that it it is done I can click this and it is done it's over with or I can try to remember tomorrow to go to Walmart and get a new shower head which is actually going to happen because if I do this then it is fucking done and it's over with so so everything comes from Amazon we have a dumpster just to accommodate the Amazon boxes kitty gets a lot of our food from Amazon. We have a dumpster just to accommodate the Amazon boxes. Kitty gets a lot of our food from Amazon. A lot of her, like all kinds of supplies.

I get, there's five boxes a day. I mean, just oodles and oodles of boxes. Lots of stuff. We get a lot. I thought we got a lot. We probably get one or two boxes a day. But it's almost every day we get something. And what bothers, one of the things I struggle with is every now and then I buy the wrong thing. And today was an example. I bought a new phone case. Long story short, it's a paramotor thing. I wanted a phone with a lanyard

so I could have it with me while I'm flying and not worry about dropping it 2,000 feet. So I got an iPhone case that had a little spot where you could hook it in and attach it to my paramotor. I have like this flight deck thing. It comes in and it's an iPhone 6 Plus case. I saw it within like a tenth of a second. I knew it was too big, right?

Because you know that. But we have bought a couple of things. Like, ooh, look at this. It's a noticeably good deal on a leather recliner, Lazy Boy type thing. And it comes in, and you're like, this is tiny. Bullshit. Yeah. I got two stories.

Once, I remember I was – now, since what I've done with my lighting is I've got an LED strip, and I've hidden it behind the back of the bed so that I hit a remote. And just the back of my bed the whole headboard illuminates from behind and it's even you know the RGB one so sometimes it's pink sometimes it's purple like a blue light doesn't interfere with the television nearly as much as a white light would it's really nice to have ambient light and be able to grab stuff in the dark while watching TV but I ordered

these lamps because I needed lighting and my old lamp was shit and it actually shocked me a little and so the the lamps show up and they are this big they are six and a half inches tall with the shade on and I I remember like I plugged it in at first and then it was so shitty that one day I literally opened the window and angrily just threw it into the bushes outside it was such a piece of shit yeah and then the other time i ordered like a leash and collar um for a person and when i got it it was just such shitty quality i i felt like i could tear the the leash apart with my hands yeah yeah it was stretchy it wasn't a sex toy yeah yeah okay

all right i'll have to avoid You don't want her getting away. That's just a strong point. So I went and got the good one, so it's got like the real. So now I'm going to. We do that move on the dance floor. What was I going to say? Yeah, yeah. You don't get a perspective for size or quality sometimes.

And sometimes the photography is so good. You don't get a perspective for size or quality sometimes. And sometimes the photography is so good. It almost – I feel like they knew they were selling this chair that we bought to people that thought they were buying a chair for adults. But it was a chair for, like, kindergartners. It was a chair for ants. Yeah. It was just – The thumbnail is like you click to expand and it's a midget sitting in the chair.

You know what the worst examples of that kind of fraud are? And it does seem, it feels like fraud to me. But the worst examples you see on eBay and places like that where they will take a Polaroid of a product. Then they will sell that Polaroid. Or the box. Yeah, or the box. And if you read the fine print, you're buying a box. You're buying a 2016 Vizio 32-inch, 1080p.

And the fine print will go on and on and on and on and on and on and on. And at the bottom, box. And it's tricky because if you see something in the box, you think that you're getting the product new in box, right, because that's what it looks like. If I had an unopened box of something that I was selling, I wouldn't open the box and make it used.

Once you crack that seal, it becomes a used thing. I'd take pictures of it, still unopened box, to show you that I'm selling a new item. And even if it says box in the description description i can see how people get fooled by it because that is also what an ad would look like for something in the box yeah and you assume that people aren't going to be that devious and underhanded because you like to assume that most people aren't shitty shitty and awful have you seen the subreddit where it's nothing but people's product photos and in the reflection you can see them nude?

I've seen that stuff before. Maybe sex sales or something like that. I don't remember exactly. But it's really funny. I went top all one day and just like threw the first top 100 posts and just laughed and jerked off and laughed. They're not always sexy. You know, like there's going to be a lot of boner killers in that. That's why the jerking off is in the middle.

You laugh, you jerk off, and you laugh some more. There's a lot of fat dudes taking a picture of a kettle, but then you get down there and there's some smoking hot 18-year-old trying to sell her television, and a flat-screen TV turned off in the middle of the day with a little glint coming off of it, and you see her perfect naked body in it. it that's pretty hot i don't know who is in that big of a hurry where they're about to like get ready or like or i guess they just hop out of

the shower like oh before i put my clothes on i gotta take a picture of this vizio it's i can't wait it depends how much time it is a kink for some people but then it's an accident for others clearly like i didn't even think about it being a kink for some people, but then it's an accident for others, clearly. Oh, I didn't even think about it being a kink. For some people, it's like, oh, let me expose myself in this plausibly deniable way. Some people love to get their dick out there. I get embarrassed. Sometimes I take pictures of all my electronics with a vibrator in and my bra off. It's just the way I do it.

The ones I'm masturbating to, though, I like to imagine it's an accident. I like to, the ones I'm masturbating to, though, I like to imagine it's an accident. I like to think that I'm seeing something I shouldn't be seeing. There is something sexier about the forbidden thing, right? Like, I don't, oh,

oh, okay. Like, oh, this makes me sound like I'm fucking Trump or something. But like, if there's a nip slip, that is somehow like,

like, ooh, look at that. I just got to see that woman's top. She might be topless in a movie, and that is somehow not as the forbidden fruit that a nip slip might be. Oh, of course. Yeah, that's a much better nipple. So when Maria Menounas, or if that's how you pronounce her name, it doesn't matter if you just sound it out and type it in and then type pussy slip.

You'll see it. And look, here's my opinion on this if your pussy slips out and there's a camera that can click it then it's fair game because my cock has never come out uh in in any setting where it could be photographed and i didn't want it to be you know i'm just not gonna whip it out on the beach and if your pussy is is being revealed so much that it's getting photographed, then you're not wearing the right bathing suit. Your bathing suit doesn't fit. That is the first sign of an incorrectly fitting bathing suit when your genitals start popping out.

So yeah, I like the Nip Slip subreddit. Big fan of that. There's lots of that. Accidental nudity. Happy embarrassed girls. I know Woody's a big fan of that. I always see happy embarrassed girls on his little porno subreddit stash he's like he's like prioritized that are these are all the same thing it's no no these are all these are all slightly different things that

these are all variations of the same school of nudity you know you have um well you know straight girls playing uh there's a lot of these subreddits i i but happy embarrassed girls is usually like a girl who's like maybe she's been showering and her like roommate kicks the door in and she's like aha and she's like and she's like smiling while covering her privates but not put this on the internet well you never know how those pictures get there you've just got to pretend like they usually seem like like happy and embarrassed girls they don't seem like victims it's giggle giggle like and they see they're taking like the cameras out right and they think it's funny that they're being photographed they're

just like a happy embarrassed sort of he it they don't yeah it doesn't seem like the same sort of like if if they were just terrified girl or like like, you know, petrified, that wouldn't be fun. Horrified and scared girl. Right. Horrified and scared nip slips is not fun, right? That's not fun. That's something fucking Trump would like, right? But happy, embarrassed girls, like, everyone's having a good time here.

At least you are. Yeah. I've got a lot of good stuff. There's a lot of them out there. having a good time here. At least you are. I've got a lot of good stuff. There's a lot of them out there. What is it? Big Black Cum Sluts? There's a classy group of girls over there. That one's not on my list. No?

This is taken directly from your recommendations. There is one called Cum Sluts that I know of. But these are not girls I look down upon. These are girls. Kaki. All those are great. I'm trying to think of some of the better ones.

Oh. What am I thinking? What am I thinking? Sort of. For some reason, my phone has prioritized all the porno ones at the very bottom. Hitachi Magic Wand has its own subreddit. In case anyone's unfamiliar, that is a very powerful sex toy that looks like an industrial massager. It's 120 volts, plugs into a wall, and it never gives up.

Now, my question is, was that thing intended to be a neck massager? And then people were just like, you know what? I got a better idea. Or was that like a clit stimulus device from day one? I think it's hard to say, but it certainly has become the sex toy. Like, if you know your sex toys and you're not looking for it, it is the thing. It is the one to get if you're okay with having a really big sex toy. Like, if you know your sex toys and you're not looking for... It is the thing. It is the one to get if you're okay with

having a really big sex toy. It's not like you're inserting it anyway. This is just a big clitoral stimulator. It's just a ball on the end of an electric stick. There are attachments. I had no idea they had attachments. There's attachments for guys.

I haven't seen this one, but I read about it on Reddit. And the guy's like, I'm not even sure I'm okay with it. He's like, you know, I've masturbated hundreds of thousands of times. Like, I know the scoop. But using this thing, it was like it forcefully sucked the orgasm out of me. He's like, I had no say in it. He felt like he was sort of raped by this sex toy so i'm unaware of the one that you could insert a penis into the ones that i've seen you insert

the ball on the end of the vibrator into like a cup that fits it and then there's like a dildo that goes off from that so you can have like an incredibly powerful vibrating uh dildo out of the thing. It seems like the sex toy to get if you want a sex toy, but you are not ready for hardcore bondage and the crazy stuff you see. I have a different opinion.

It seems like the tip of the toe in the water. This subreddit is called Whore Lipstick. Wait, I want to try and guess what it is is it uh girls giving head with lipstick on i'm going to take my own guess i'm going to say it's girls doing their lips in a trashy way like with eyeliner around the outside or like lots of blacks yeah not it's a home for any pictures videos or gifs of girls with lipstick wrote anywhere on her body they were fighting this is this is when they write

dirty things about the girl like for slut cum slut all over her with lipstick and then film that sex uh usually taking advantage of the specific genres that are outlined in the lipstick drawings. For example, perhaps there's an interracial component to this, she would be a black cock whore or something like that and then you'd have her have sex with a black guy. Or maybe.

Maybe her lower back has anal lovers spelled out on it. Guess how that video goes down. I only write uplifting things on my lovers. I write best friend across the board. I write good listener on their ass. Fun to hang out with.

You get along well with my friends, I write. Like right on her face in Black Magic marker, pretty eyes. That's very interesting, write you know um um oh taylor i just agreed with you on the hitachi thing i i want to get back to this uh he was saying the hitachi magic wand was the sex toy you get when like you don't really want a sex toy like it's it's like when you're dipping the toe in that pond To me, the baby step Is like a double A

Powered vibrator That to me is like step It goes on your finger It attaches to your finger That or maybe it's the size of your finger That's your starter kit And then the magic wand to me Is a step 2 or 3 type device

It's not quite Disappointed with the strength of your human collar. You haven't bought a sex machine yet. You don't have a Sibian yet, but you've got the one because it's about 70 bucks. What is a Sibian? A Sibian is,

it looks like a horse saddle, right? And it's a machine. And when the woman sits on this horse saddle, it has, there are a bunch of attachments like with all sex toys, but it vibrates very powerfully. I mean, very powerful. This thing is plugged into the wall as well, and there's a controller operating this thing and it produces

Incredibly pop the most powerful orgasms possible for a female and I've always said that like if I was a woman I would buy that thing immediately. They're like they're a little expensive They used to be like a grand or more, but they've come way down now But yeah, there's lots of attachments. It's not necessarily penetration. It's usually just vibrating like the vulva. It's like a horse saddle with a little hump on it where the clitoris would be.

Yeah. But... Is it like large? You do not put this in like a chest. A drawer, no. This needs to go in your sex room, you know, right over there.

It's really fucking big and it's really expensive, but it is the best female sex toy in existence. It just is. Stern had one in his studio for years and he would, he would have porn stars get on it. Sometimes it would be a game where a girl would come in and she spins the wheel and it, no matter what it lands on, she's got to do it but then she gets to plug her website or her line of adult toys or whatever

she's selling that day and so she gets on the sibian and gary delabate comes in with the bee mat the beekeeper mask so she doesn't have to look at his ugly face so she can come while he turns the machine on and and she will and he'd have these women orgasming on on the air and like they're screaming and moaning and sometimes you can tell that like they're like i don't want to come in front of all these guys in the studio right now but they can't help it and that's what and that's what you want that's what you want yeah the thing about the sibian my observation is i don't have one it seems like this is really a solo device like I don't see how like a couple uses

a Sibian really like a tandem bike you just both sit on there like I don't know like the Hitachi magic wand the vibrator like a lot of things are kind of designed to enhance the sex that the two of you are having the Sibian she's really just riding that horse while you get off

in the corner like a voyeur yeah that's what that's for that doesn't seem like fun so um that's their actual company you can preview it to see if you think it's appropriate for a youtube audience the uh on the front of their website they'll be warned is a woman fully clothed but she's wearing like nope this can't be on youtube no okay now i'll save you a... Nope, this can't be on YouTube. No. I'll save you a look, Woody. This can't be on YouTube. I'm looking now. Because the first page of this website is a woman in lingerie

grinding her vag on this silicone attachment. 100% silicone attachment, mind me. Five year warranty, so you can really grind it up all the time. Do you think that all the girls using this by themselves actually get dolled up, or do you think it's a lot of girls without makeup and sweatpants?

Turn it to ten and go to sleep. I hadn't even considered that girls would be dressed while they use it. I thought that was just for the photo shoot. Oh, I don't know. I'm sure it could go both ways. Most of them can. It would depend on that very unique woman who has went out and purchased one of these.

99% of the time, it's guys buying these for their wives. I guarantee it, because they think it's hot to watch their wife have some kind of super orgasm. I might be onto something, because I keep looking at it. Oh, they've got the Venus for men? Yeah, that's what I think. I think, oh, it would be cool to have a thing that would just make my partner

just have these incredible orgasms and be able to watch that because that's hot. So yeah, I think that's a really cool sex toy. It is the most powerful one for a woman that I am aware of. And if I were a woman, I would buy the best one that existed. I bought this Venus for men to practice my ninja diffuse. Click that link, Woody. Bob has been hunted!

You're always got marine! Get your thumb! That's what it looks like. So the Venus for Men system is an auto-masturbator, and if you thought the auto-blow was something you never wanted your mother to discover, way do you get a load of the Venus for men.

Because it's a small suitcase with wires coming out of it that lead to controls that look like, I don't know, something out of Star Trek. There's knobs and green and red buttons and a big red switch. And it all leads to this pneumatically operated, it looks like a penis pump, but it's a dick sucker. It, like, suctions this... It uses air pressure to suction this sort of silicone glove to your dick and then pneumatically pump it back and forth rapidly.

So it's a dick-sucking machine. This is humiliating to... This is a lot of buttons and stuff to work... Do you guys like to do Sudokus while you masturbate? So this is the product for you. It took me a second. I believe it's just buttons and stuff to work. Do you guys like to do Sudokus while you masturbate? So this is the product for you. It took me a second. I believe it's just on and off and intensity. I was like, how do the controls on this thing work?

They should be intuitive. This is not a complicated machine. I think it's just on, off, and intensity. It's really easy to stay in the moment when you're hitting add more air, less air, higher, like you're an audio engineer yeah that that one i wouldn't be into and it goes back to that thing that's a little bit sexist i think that male sex toys are are kind of laughable and frowned upon and this thing to be embarrassed about but but female sex toys it's like wow i'd like to get that thing for my wife it's got some

horsepower meanwhile like like your significant other is probably, like, never looking at a pocket pussy and being like, I'd like to see him fuck the shit out of this. I think this is, like, my BS evolutionary, like, thought process. I think that to a lot of women, maybe most women, I don't know, seeing a guy who can't get laid in a traditional way is indicative of someone who's like, ooh, that's not a good mate.

That's someone who couldn't go out and find another girl. That's someone who had to take this other route. Whereas for a woman, guys don't look and go, ah, she got that sibian because she just can't get laid. What a gross thing to do. Guys look at it like, oh man, I'd love to be in that room watching it. And women look at it like, ah, that's just creepy like she brings her own sex Drive to the table that's a thought process that might enter my head like oh this girl that has a vibrator a Sibian or whatever

She actually like once desire sex like that that to me is a positive attribute Where isn't a guy this isn't a rare attribute at all you know yeah? And the fact that he and if you see that the guy has gone through like – so there's many steps, right? I saw a glove on Amazon today that you wear to jerk off. It was called like a clam glove or something like that. So you can start it. I guess you start with nothing and then move up to lubricants and the clam glove and then like a flashlight and then an auto blow and then the Venus for Men cock sucking system. And then all of a sudden you have a $5,000 real doll that just happens to look a little bit

too much like your cousin. This is the path that... But that wasn't your choice. It was because that's all they had. It was the clearance sale. Sally Sue was on clearance. I'm not going to spring for Yoshimoto over there. Sure, sure. I special requested her hair match my cousin's, but hey,

I prefer blondes. What am I going to say? So, you know, you end up down that path and that's a that that's indicative of a lot of other things that are undesirable that thing on its own isn't it like who fucking cares that if you if you want to fuck this machine or like jerk off or whatever you're doing but it's it's indicative of a lot of other things that are wrong and evolutionary speaking if you go back to that then there's a part of our brain that clicks in and goes like that's bad semen i don't want that bad semen creating more guys who have dick sucking machines in their basements uh coming out of me i don't want any reason that women make like you get hit on more when you're in a relationship because they go into

it like wow somebody's already done all the research another woman has vetted this guy uh he's passed the code He's clearly good enough for her. You know, I think that me and this woman are on the same level Why wouldn't he be good enough for me? Why not pick me? Why hurt Jesus? It's a stupid slut single would he always had that problem, right? Like single would he could like I'm struggling to get a girl right and then I get a girl and suddenly I'm beating them off Yeah, and they're not beating you off on beating them off.

Yeah. And they're not beating you off. And it's just like, wow, like I had all these options that didn't... And I also saw it in me. Like I'd see a girl, maybe I'd decline her and then she'd go out with somebody else and it was like, oh, huh.

I don't think I realized what I had when she was going for me. I've always had kind of a gotta catch them all kind of mindset where I get jealous. Like I want all of the women, like all kind of mindset where i get jealous like i want all of the women like all of them um like like not just one or like oh that one now or this one yesterday it's like i want them all so like so so yeah so so like anytime like like someone's

dating someone else i'm like i could if i were barbarian kyle she would be mine she would want to be wow he's got a pokemon trainer attitude towards women she would want to be in my harem you know yeah well in my pokedex yeah in your pokedex yes ah the pokedex is a little slow at first i only got to the game took me a while to realize the double entendre i don't know uh how far we are i don't know how far we are in, but it seems like a great time to talk about smart mouth. Doesn't it? This episode of Pain Clear Already is being brought to you by Smart Mouth. 100% of people have bad breath or morning breath at some point in the day.

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and producing sulfur gas, keeping bad breath away for up to 12 hours. And I think sulfur gas is always, unless you've got some kind of gastrointestinal problem, I think. I think sulfur gas is always the problem. That's what's making bad breath. But don't take our word for it. Go to smartmouth.com and read about the science

and how it's able to deliver such an incredible result. Visit smartmouth.com by clicking the link in the description and see if you're ready for 24 hours of clean, fresh breath. Once again, that's smartmouth.com, coupon code PAINKILLER for free shipping or pick it up at Walmart, Walgreens, CVS, Target, or your favorite store. So yeah, smartmouth.com, use coupon code PAINKILLER for free shipping. I really like this stuff.

I genuinely do. It makes food taste better. Let me explain this. I really believe this. I discovered this. And it makes vape juice taste better too. I really believe this. I discovered this and it makes a vape juice taste better, too I feel like it cleaned my tongue so thoroughly that it was now able to taste things

appropriately correctly like I think I've just had a film of stuff on my tongue for like 20 years because after using smart mouth for a week and and and and really focusing on brushing my tongue in conjunction because as soon as I used it I was like This tastes a little different this tastes sweeter in conjunction because as soon as I used it, I was like, this tastes a little different. This tastes sweeter. Everything tastes sweeter and better. And when I did some vape juice the other day, as it was like rolling on my tongue, the vapor, I was like,

I can really taste that berry. So try it out for yourself. See if you get the same reaction I did or the same experience I did. I've used it too. I haven't noticed the taste thing, but it actually does work. When you take this in your mouth, put it in your mouth, swish it around, and after you spit it out, you're like, ah, that's different than what I'm accustomed to.

And it works better. It works all day. Because usually it's like when you spit out a mouthwash, you just taste like a ton of mint or like your mouth burns from alcohol. Like this flavor's fine. Like the comparison I think works is you guys both know a bunch about like epoxy right where you have to have two parts and you combine it and then it

activates and it works because you need that chemistry so if somebody went to you woody and was like hey i've got this great epoxy and it comes in one can it's going to do it exactly the same you'd probably be like bullshit it cannot because it literally it literally can't there's not the chemistry there all that activation that would have happened isn't there. It is the same as old epoxy that's already dry. Exactly. That's what happens with smart mouth. If you pour one, you'll see it's green. Wait like five minutes. It'll be blue. That means that it's not activated anymore. So if it's blue, it's just the same as any other mouthwash. You got to use it while it's activated. So if you're still pouring your mouthwash out of one spout, you are acting

a fool because you're just pretending. You're just pretending, you know? You need smart mouth. It doesn't burn either. That's the best part. It doesn't burn at all. So, like, you can really rinse for a long time. I would put some other competing brand in and it would burn the fuck out of my tongue and at the end

I would spit it out like I can't take anymore! Like trying to make my tongue stop burning. And at the end, I would spit it out like, I can't take it anymore. Like trying to make my tongue stop burning. But with this stuff, it's just really casual. And I'm like, oh, we were talking about our morning routines. Let's do that. Yeah, because this is part of my morning routine. All right, Taylor, take me through.

And I wanted to talk about this because I think maybe there's something wrong with me. And this is indicative of that, that my routine is so repetitive and so precise and exacting. So I want to hear yours so I know how much of a nut job I am. I don't think, compared to how you phrased it, yours must be very meticulous, because I don't do maybe the exact same stuff, but I wake up, I immediately turn the shower on and let it heat up. As the shower is heating up, brush my teeth uh with smart mouth toothpaste and then i usually like get out my supplies because i live with melissa and so our bathroom counter is just a graveyard of her products and then like my six things that i use so i'll like

grab like the beard oil i'm gonna use or like the hair stuff and like get it set next to the sink so i'm ready then i have a shower products yes yes get in the shower and then wash my hair wash my beard wash my body take care of all the genital butt asshole regions hop out i usually take pretty long showers because i like to just stand there for a while and let way too hot of water run over me because i know it's not good for your skin, I guess, to have really hot water running. I don't care. It feels way better. So I do that way too hot of a shower. Get out, rinse with my SmartMouth mouthwash, spit it out, put the hair gel in,

put my beard stuff in if I need to keep it down that day or trim it if I have to, and then get dressed and usually grab a monster energy and walk out the door okay so I wake up uh the first thing I do is um I walk into the bathroom I turn uh the heater on in the bathroom because I like it nice and warm in there I'm about to be naked in there let's get things warmed up I don't want I want the heater serves to also warm up the toilet seat coincidentally which I like a lot I want to get one of those. I'm going to get a nice toilet with a heated toilet seat because I want that.

It's always cold, and it's nice. It's not a good feeling. Do you have that? I don't, but I want it. Taylor said it was nice. I've used them before. So walk into the bathroom, turn the heater on, close the door behind myself, and walk into the kitchen, make myself a cup of coffee, walk back into the bathroom, poop while drinking the coffee and on Reddit. Um, then, and the whole time the hot water has been running in the sink to be more conservative, not to be no, no need to run the shower the whole time. We just gotta get the water to this end of the house, right? Like we don't have to

use a lot of it. So turn the hot water on the sink, get up, flush the toilet, brush my teeth. While I'm brushing them, always while, I'll turn the hot water on only then in the shower. And I turn it on really fucking hot. Rinse the toothbrush off, then get in, rinse my mouth off in the shower. Then I always wash my hair first

with like a rinsing shampoo and then more of an oily shampoo. Do you use SmartMouth in the shower? No, I don't. No, no, I'm talking about rinsing my hair. Oh, the toothpaste out in the shower. Yeah, yeah, I rinse the toothpaste out. The SmartMouth doesn't come till later.

So I use two different shampoos. Then I use a facial wash. And then I really get soaked up good. I like there to be foam everywhere. I use two different shampoos. Then I use a facial wash. And then I really get soaped up good. I like there to be foam everywhere. So I took two bars of soap, and I cut zigzags on them, and I made a mega bar. So I get my mega bar, and I've got one of those floofy things. How is that more helpful?

More surface area. More surface area. This is a double bar of soap okay and i put it in the floofy thing and i do this number in the water until there's just so much soap on there and then i cover every inch of my body from like the neck down with a thick foam of soap foam and then i scrub almost to the point of hurting myself with the loofah thing everywhere until my skin is like completely exfoliated everywhere then i rinse off get out i have a very particular way to like dry off but i won't go into it like i go the same regions over and over in the same motions and everything um get out dry off then and um let's see first thing i do uh put the all my products are already lined out. So I put some stuff in my – put gel in my hair, comb my hair back.

Then I moisturize my face. Then I put my deodorant on. Then I moisturize my whole body with my like cocoa butter special moisturizer stuff. And only then when I am completely done and about to walk out the door and maybe I want to drink something else before I leave will I do the smart mouth. That's how I – if I walk out the door, it's smart mouth and then I'm gone. Let me say this. If I had just told that story, a certain asshole contingent of our fan base would have called me, they would have diagnosed me with like every mental disability under the book, right?

I would be autistic. I would have OCD. I would have like some sort of personality disorder. I think they would just go fucking nuts on me. You know, like one time I told a story of how I eat like – like I go around on my dinner plate. I'm like I first ate my chicken and then my peas, whatever. And that's kind of true. I maybe punched it up for the storytelling version.

I don't always do that. But oh my god. Like they just go fucking nuts for like a week about my mental disorders. I'm listening to you and I'm like, oh my god. I'm so glad this isn't me. I'm excited to hear your snap because it's going to be like

when I brush my teeth, I count to 103 times. Then back to 1. As I'm walking out the bathroom door, I tickle twice. My morning routine is not set in stone. a nutshell it breaks into this i wake up i brush my teeth like a normal person if i'm going to do something that's like worky then usually i'll skip the shower like let's say i'm going to work in the yard or operate a tractor and mow or something

like that then i just go straight outside and work the fields if i'm going to do something that's not like play battlefield or whatever i shower and then start my day but like i don't know so let me tell you why i think that that that ridiculous um routine doesn't indicate any sort of mental disorder it act because the the reason i do it is this think about this for a minute because i think there are some people who would be compelled to do it in that way i'm not i'm be compelled to do it in that way. I'm not. I'm not compelled to do it in that way at all. I could break that completely apart and use a whole different bathroom and use a different kind of soap and everything. The reason I do it that way is because it allows me to completely check out. I can turn my brain off during that entire period and I go into a daydream world that's sort of therapeutic for me where I'm getting my day in order in my head.

I'm outlining the whole day. I'm planning things. If there's multiple steps, I'm figuring out what's the most efficient way to do them in an order. And my thinking brain is just turned completely off during the entire process of all that. But because I have such a routine, muscle memory and whatever else

just keeps me going through it. I'll stop and be like, oh, well, I already did that part. Okay. Keep moving on. You know what I mean? So I don't think I'm crazy. I just think it's my way of just turning my brain off and relaxing. I do the same thing

cleaning guns. There's a few guns that I can just not really even think about it. I might be crazy. I think some people keep their guns too clean. They do. Not that they keep it too clean. That they clean it when they don't need to. There's no such thing as too clean.

You can have it perfectly clean. Knock yourself out. But they act like you fire a round and suddenly it needs to be cleaned again. knock yourself out but they act like you fire around and suddenly it needs to be cleaned again so you know i i don't like saying things that are counter to like some massive culture of people in the way they like to do things but god i was always hearing about cleaning guns on tv and media and stuff and i think that's where it comes from i think it's just hollywood has gotten into the heads of gun people even that yeah yeah well you need to clean it all the time. It's got to be spotless because I've had friends who ran their AR-15s dry, they call it. They run no lube,

and they just let a layer of carbon buildup accumulate, and that self-lubricates. Really? That's really interesting. Yeah, like graphite. It's a self-lubricating thing, so you don't have to oil it all the time. And as a matter of fact, the guys that run their guns like that have told me, I don't know, I haven't shot, I haven't experimented the way they had, but they're like, yeah, if we put oil in it now, it'll gunk stuff up. We don't want that. That'll be a problem. So they run their guns dry.

Now that's a very, I don't remember if it was gas impingement or piston-driven ARs that were better to run that way. I guess piston-driven makes more sense because you're not just shooting the gas in there. So yeah, probably piston-driven ARs would be better to run dry. But I don't fucking know. I'll tell you what I do with my pistols. Why is there ever, ever, ever a reason to clean this

unless I drop it in the mud? There's no amount of this that is ever going to cause a problem. There's just not. This thing is coated everywhere with a super duper coating. There's like three or four of them. I don't know which one this is. Whatever it is. It just won't rust. It can't rust.

What am I looking at? Is that a 686? Yeah. This is the M&P Pro 8 shot Smith & Wesson. If you're watching the audio version of this, Kyle is holding up a revolver. Yeah, it's real pretty. I like this gun a whole bunch. But yeah, I just don't see any reason to ever clean this, ever, unless I drop it in the mud.

I'm just not going to be able to rub it until it doesn't function. Do you kind of just clean your guns as like a hobby almost where you're just kind of wanting to do something with your hands and you'll start cleaning? If I've got a gun that I know has to be good for filming something, that's kind of a make or break thing. So it's like let's remove every variable and just make sure it's nice and clean and everything looks good on the inside. But it's just like a double backup kind of thing because... I've had some semi-auto pistols

but i felt like the action gets a little gritty like it doesn't get to the point where it doesn't yeah the slide doesn't want to fully return to is it battery i don't know that it's like the position it's supposed to be in and i find the cleaning it makes that happen it's not that it even gets unreliable it's that like if hypothetically you brought it halfway, without the momentum of a shot, it wouldn't slide the rest of it or something like that. If you were in a – if you were like wrapped up with someone and trying to shoot them, just the slide rubbing against another person might slow it down enough that it wouldn't complete its journey. So yeah, semi-auto pistols, a lot of them do need to be cleaned and kept okay. But if you're not putting hundreds and hundreds of rounds through it on a regular basis,

it's just not getting dirty enough to require that kind of cleaning. You've got to be shooting a lot. I tried to buy a gun last weekend. Tried? Tried to. What happened? Did they find black blood in you? I didn't realize it, but my concealed carry license has an address on it, and

I have to update that address. It didn't match my driver's license, which is accurate. So I had to go down to the county sheriff office or something and get my concealed carry updated and then I'll be able to buy a gun. Oh, cool. That'll be good. In the next couple months, Missouri, I believe, is making it so that you don't need a permit

to conceal carry. Really? Constitutional carry. Yeah. What was that, Kyle? Constitutional carry, right? Oh, yeah, I guess that is. Is that what constitutional carry is, when you're allowed to conceal carry regardless?

I think it's something that crazy people yell as the police are arresting them, usually. I got constitutional carry rights according to Article 15B of the whack, whack, whack. To me, it's a philosophy more so than a legal defense. It's, you know, it should be my right to conceal carry. And where do you fall on that? I know I'm a little torn on concealed carry. I don't mind you at least filling out a form, but that's just me. But, yeah, it's a philosophy.

Some people feel like they should be entitled to concealed carry without even getting a permit or a license for it. I don't know. Well, I guess that's going to be Missouri soon. Yeah. For me, I wasn't a gun guy before I got guns. Like I wasn't raised in a gun household or anything. I don't know. I know Kyle was. I don't know where Taylor was on the spectrum.

So for me, having to go through like every time I went to a range, they made me take training and, like, take a test. And when I got my concealed carry license, I had to take training and take a test. And that was all a positive thing for me. I'm a better gun owner than I would have been if I could have just, like, I don't know, started winging it. Everyone should – yeah, everyone should have some kind of training. Training or a mentor, right? You know, some kind of training training for a mentor right you know some kind of training like if your father taught you right then that's fine too but yeah i i think i'm pretty good at doing it because i i know what the mistakes are going to be i know what they're

going to do i know what you're going to fucking do i know what you want to do with that gun but we're going to have to talk about why you can't do it x jaws was terrible at that oh what was he doing um okay so in his defense he's trying to25,000 by hitting a target that's in the air. And the target is going this way in a direction that he technically shouldn't be pointing the gun. I shouldn't have said that about Sam, actually. Now that I take it back. He had $25,000 on the line. He was trying to shoot a target out of the air that we told him to shoot out of the air.

They should have just flown in a different direction. So, yeah, I'll take that back. But one thing that I'm used to, like if I have a new shooter, I'm going to point down range is the biggest thing. There's four gun rules and I feel like I should know them. I bet maybe Kyle does or both of you do.

Like you'll never point at anything you don't intend to destroy. Don't put your figure on the trigger until you want to pull it. Treat all guns loaded. And is there another that mess it up know your target and what is beyond it okay so in my opinion those four rules you got to know those right like nail that down to make it part of where you are but if you just had one you know like if i'm working with a new shooter and i'm afraid that I'm giving them too much info, keep your gun pointed down range. Like, you know, if you just do that,

then we're, we're pretty far along in terms of safety, right? If you just, it's harder than you think though, because things are going to happen. This isn't shooting paper. We're doing some dynamic shooting here. Like shit's going to blow up. People are going to cheer. You have to in all of that well I was talking about your shoot right now I'm talking about I work with someone new I I usually don't have explosives down right I do yeah maybe you do if there's a new shooter like like if someone has come to visit Kitty from Germany or Canada or something and they're like I've never

shot a gun a and you know it's like all right well today you're not just gonna shoot a gun you're gonna shoot a you know, it's like, all right, well, today you're not just going to shoot a gun. You're going to shoot a machine gun at an exploding toilet and there's going to be a fireball 50 feet tall. Let's have some real fun. So you got to be like, look, you got to go through this drill with them. What happens if this happens? I drop the gun.

What happens if that happens? I drop the gun. What happens if this happens? I drop the gun. Is there any time when something bad happens that you don't drop the gun? Nope. All right. Don't forget.

They'll still forget. Yeah. The one that I've seen more than once is they shoot. They're excited about the thing that just happened. Yeah. Yeah. And that's the one. Just keep it pointed down range.

If you want to look at me, don't turn the gun. If you want to talk to me, if you have a question, maybe you shoot and then whatever. Maybe it's a bolt action or something and then whatever they don't really maybe it's a um a bolt action or something and like it's not going right yeah don't go pointing the gun at me and asking for help that's not how we do this we keep it pointed down range all the time and i that's the one that i just super hammer home uh yeah i won't stand for that um in any circumstance if i see something all right so i've seen guys who are literally special forces guys

that were doing stuff that's a bit cavalier, but I don't give a shit. I don't care. He can point his gun at me, frankly. I know him. I trust him. It's cool. But if I see someone who is just a novice or a brand new shooter, you've got some fucking rules that you better start listening to here. You're going to get

screamed at at least because it's people's lives on the line and people's everything on the line. Just leave it at that. You've got a deadly weapon there. Let's have a lot of fun and have a good time and learn some shit, but let's all go fucking home.

And at the end of the day, that's the problem. It's them turning around with the weapon or not knowing how to clear a jam and trying to do it themselves in an awkward manner where they're prone to dropping an open-bolt firing machine gun like a Mac, which can land and fire off a burst or something. So, yeah, it's risky stuff sometimes, but if you do it in a safe way, it's a lot of fun. I usually, especially if it's a kid or someone who's okay with me doing it,

I usually wouldn't do it with a guy, but I'll kind of do that golf shot around them kind of thing and i'll i'll i'll take all the recoil out of it for them and and you know get them to stop flinching and stuff so i like doing that stuff like i like that a lot yeah it's fun taking people shooting for the first time especially if they like if it's someone who's like oh man i've always wanted to shoot a gun as it's not as fun. It's more fun when it's someone who's like, oh, I don't know. I've never really thought about shooting a gun before. And you're like, oh, just give it a go. And they're like, oh, well, okay, I guess.

And then they shoot it and they have to pretend that it wasn't exhilarating. But they're like, boom, oh, oh. I don't know. This just isn't for me. How many more in this? Chiz did not understand ear protection.

He will really quick. No. He went all day. He went all day because he didn't know how to put earplugs in correctly. A lot of people don't. I should have taught him. I taught him at the end of the day.

People who don't know, it seems like Taylor does. If you have the foam earring protection, you roll it up and it turns into like a little spike. It's shaped like a torpedo kind of. And you roll it and it puts a spike. And then what I do, I'm going to take my headset off. I pull my ear up like that and then I insert it in. And this kind of opens up my ear canal and I stick it in there. And then you'll watch.

The difference between just shoving it in there and letting it grow in there is enormous. Over the next 20 seconds, your world will close off with this kind of like, I don't know how to describe a crumpling silence as it goes like. And the whole world just like quiets down. And then you do your other ear and you're like, oh, my God, these things are so effective. and then you do your other ear and you're like, oh my God, these things are so effective. If you just smush them in there and they're sitting on your outer ear, not in there properly, it's bad.

So when Chiz went shooting with us, for example, the.50 cal, which a lot of people would agree is maybe the most entertaining gun to shoot, Chiz wanted no part of it. He really preferred the.22. And I think his day might have gone differently if he knew how hearing protection worked at the start.

Yeah, yeah. I was like i can't believe he's not gonna shoot the 50 like we get we got cool bullets and cool targets and stuff yeah yeah i love shooting i love shooting a 50 it's it's a lot of fun i do you guys use earplugs when you're just like shooting skeet or no it depends so all right usually yeah i don't either um i have this thing uh where i can i can like squeeze my ear canals shut and cut off a lot of the sound um it's a it's a lot like if you're like trying to like do yeah it's it's like it's kind of like that um but i can do it without i think i made a bigger i think i would have made it worse i can it it feels like flexing back here you're gonna have to speak up but i i literally can and

it's it's not and it's not as good as hearing protection but i swear to god i can and it does help me uh like like sometimes like a 30 caliber rifle is a pain a painful hurting thing but i'm just gonna squeeze off one then i can just squeeze my ear ears shut and i'll be okay with that but yeah if i'm shooting skeet and I'm shooting multiple rounds of skeet, then I'm going to put some earplugs in. But if I'm throwing clays up in the air and shooting them for fun, I won't put them in there. I won't put them in for

a.22, although people told me I'm damaging my hearing shooting my.22 without it, but I just won't. I don't care. And I wear it with pistols always, though, now because they'll really ring your bell. If I'm inside, always, always, always shoot them. I'm sorry, I thought you were wrapping up.

Oh yeah, inside for sure. Yeah, if I'm outside, I always wear them too, but I don't know that I always have to. If you're outside, I guess it's fairly obvious, it doesn't come back at you, it's a lot quieter. But a lot of times when I shoot, I'm filming. I shot recently for the vlogs, whatever. So that means you have to wear hearing protection

because a lot of people will be judging you. And when I don't film, it seems like there's still a lot of people judging me. I shot at an outdoor range, everyone wears hearing protection, that's the thing. It's pretty rare that I'm in a situation that's normal for Kyle, where you you own the land you make the rules like that's that's not my normal shooting experience yeah i know i've definitely shot there's been a couple of times where because

there was like an emergency or like the animal jumped out that's what i mean by an emergency that like it's like oh boom that oh i've gotten my bell rung and i've rung my cousin's bell we were up on the roof of uh Jeep going through the Texas wilderness, and I don't know what kind of animal it was. I don't remember now if it was a fox or a cat. It might have been a bobcat. I don't know. Something ran out.

The most dangerous game of all. Something ran out. I swung. I was clear. It's not like I didn't make sure my zone was clear. It was clear, and I fired, but Scott did not have his Earring Pro on yet, and I let off boom, boom,

boom as I fucking killed this thing with a.308 with a PWS muzzle brake on the end, which is one of the loudest.308s I've ever heard in my life. It's concussive, and his ears rang for two days afterwards because it was just pretty close to his left ear.

I shot my. 338 lapua without ear pro uh accidentally and i've shot the 50 cal without your pro accidentally um when you do it it's immediately a terrible pain and you're just like oh oh never again never make that mistake again and you and you fix it and for the rest of the day you don't fuck up again um and i've definitely the worst thing i ever did was i shot a 308 minigun 5 000 rounds with no hearing protection and i went and i was like oh it's so loud and but and i and i almost stopped but then i remembered that i was paying for each of these bullets and that one second is like a hundred of them or something and so i was just like all right here we go 45 more seconds and quickly weigh ear surgery versus these bullets yeah in wayne county there's an indoor range 110 yards long or like 100 meters and uh they're really strict on all of the rules like you have to have you know you're when you put

your gun on the bench the shooting bench you have to have, you know, when you put your gun on the bench, the shooting bench, you have to put the case so that the gun points forward. You can't take your gun out and bring it to the bench. You can't even take your gun out and turn it around. You've got to turn the case around before you remove it. There's a lot of rules. But with hearing protection, they're pretty casual. And I heard them once.

A guy walked in there without hearing protection, and another person was like, dude, no hearing protection. And the range officer was like, like yeah self-correcting problem like so yeah shooting without its heart i've uh i've heard um i've definitely been in my uh local small indoor range without ear protection when a gunshot went off you know because maybe we were trying to have a conversation and there's some guy over there that we weren't aware was going hot or whatever or something. And that's loud. It wasn't painful. It was just like, I don't know, having a metal trash can on your head and having it smacked with a big shovel or something. It's loud as fuck in there. And everything reverberates and everything is steel plate. So it has a certain harmonic to it that just doesn't feel good. You don't want to do

that. You go into a shooting range, an old old one especially and you'll see so many fuck-ups they're visual like look for it go into your booth and look at the edges of the booth the dividers look at the look at the bottom in front of you look at the floor right in front of you and look at the ceiling right above you and forward and you'll see bullet holes and and and stuff everywhere where people have shot the ceiling shot the wall right next to him Shot the floor in front of them all that shit They they stopped renting out the 50 action Express at the range in Athens, Georgia because some jackass went and

Shot the ceiling all up the action Express Desert Eagle like it shot recoiled went high and he just I Don't know why it kept firing, but he just kept pulling the trigger as the recoil pulled it higher and higher and higher until he put two in the ceiling. You can see it. You can see the hole. It's right there. Yeah, that's not the kind of person you want to be shooting next to you. I was like, can we rent that

50 Action Express? I didn't have one at the time. He's like, nah, we don't rent the big bow out no more. Had a few incidents. and he watched me shoot for a little while and he was like you shoot you shoot the handgun if you want young man looks like you know how to handle yourself but that there's one we don't like to let it loose i was like holy shit that's ridiculous i was like did it go through he's like no no we got some plate up there too but that ain't no good that ain't no good at all no it's not oh it always like it stresses me out so much more to go shooting indoors than just to shoot outdoors because when i'm shooting outdoors it's almost 100 guaranteed that everyone i'm with i know i know how familiar they are with guns i know oh i know tim can handle this gun he

was a marine here you go go hog wild oh i know that this gun. He was a Marine. Here you go. Go hog wild. Oh, I know that Susan's never held a gun before. Let's go over there and help her out with it and make sure she doesn't do anything stupid. When you walk into that room and you just hear the reverberating boom. It sounds like, if you close your eyes, it sounds like you're out in space and there's shit exploding in one of those with the earplugs in. That would be quiet. Okay, well, it doesn't sound like that then. it sounds like a better analogy than what i just did it sounds like a george lucas movie which turned out was a lie yes it turns out it was a lie a fib a ruse and you walk in there

and it's just like potentially like eight people that you have no idea you can't see what they're doing behind in their little cubicle and so for all you know there's like someone of them like futzing around with like a 44 like right on the other side loaded like aiming it through which i'm sure there's plate between it but still it's unnerving and i know i shouldn't be nervous about it as much but i i do i get like oh god like i i know i'm not gonna fuck up because i'm very careful but i one of these people might and i don't want to be the guy who ends up on the news of you know very minor minor minor minor minor internet celebrity semi-tragically shot brand of minor internet celebrity tragically shot

yeah that was yeah you don't want that um it's at my range like the backstop that you go in you're firing and you're firing right at the road, like on the other side of that wall and bullet trap and everything. It's just double lane road in a McDonald's. But they've got one of those systems that it's like shooting into a V, like a bunch of steel Vs, and it goes back in. And I don't know if it does the loop-de-loop, but I know it all collects in a bucket, like all the lead and stuff.

It's pretty cool to go to. I've been downrange in the indoor firing range and just looked at all the hits on the walls and on the floor, and I've never hit that fucking wall. And I've done intense zombie shoots where they flash strobe lights, turn the big lights off, and you have to use night sights, and they have zombies and smoke. I did that and never hit the wall fucking once. But these fools are shooting out of booths and just have zombies that that and and smoke i did that and never hit the

wall fucking once but these fools are like shooting out of booths and just all over the walls and stuff so just an idea you know i can be shooting around people who aren't who aren't safe it could be a problem oh you want to do that you'll do that thing yeah um let me do an ad read first because it'll be it'll be a good segue into it so So yeah, we're about to do some prank phone calls. Maybe, I don't know. So let's see. Give you guys a short word from Dollar Shave Club. Guys, Dollar Shave Club just keeps getting better. Four years ago, they started delivering their amazing affordable razors.

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it was like kind of cheaper and it looked good. She hated it. And she had this like, like on her thigh, like this bloody, like, like injury from this horrible razor. And,

and she's been nagging me to get dollar shave club. And it was just like four days ago or something. I was like, all right, we'll do it. And like an asshole, I didn't use our own promo code. Cause like,

like I didn't buy it like at the prompting of a podcast. I bought it cause my wife was nagging me and I totally forgot. You didn't even think about it. Yeah. Like such a fucking dick. And like, I don't know what the discount difference is or whatever, but I just,

cause I went to their site like first to just learn what the deals were and like see what was up. And I ended up buying without like going again through our URL and whatever. But yeah, no joke. We use Dollar Shave Club stuff now because everything else was either like wicked expensive or actually sucked.

So yeah, there's your endorsement. Raises are way more expensive than you would think way more yeah and i always knew right like give away the razor sell the blades like like that's a cliche in business and it works that way with uh inkjet printers and some other things i never realized like it's worse than you think like that shit is wicked expensive and it shouldn't be you're like why am i buying the the manufacturing costs on this must be a dollar and they're selling it for like 25 dollars and i'm yeah that yeah dollar shave club don't don't play into the scheme you know be a smart guy check it out yeah so anyway um not only am i happy with them as a sponsor, but I'm a customer now.

But I'm an asshole because I didn't use the PK promo code like I should have. How long did it, after you ordered it, did you realize that? Like one second. Yeah, I was like, ah! Oh, shit! What is that name of that podcast I've been doing for six years where I get codes to get things cheaper? Yeah, ah! Is it BTD?

Is it BTK? Who can remember? BTK bind torture kill that's the that's a serial killer the BTK killer there you go look that up kid well it's not uplifting it's uh it is it's a certainly an interesting Wikipedia article do you ever do that do you go on a no serial killer or like crazy dictator or like just go through weird Wikipedia like string on corkboard style of like oh Hitler but like oh who was Hitler influenced by let's

see what this guy's all about oh but he influenced this guy over here Paul Pott let's see what he did oh man that's fucked up let's see oh his top general performed experimental surgeries on twins and like you get into like actual, it's really feel good about yourself. We had an encyclopedia, like,

like a legit old school world book encyclopedia, like whatever, 40 volumes. And, uh, I used to just crack open those things and read about random stuff all the time, but I've never done it to Wikipedia like that.

I don't know. Really? Yeah. It's much easier you just type it in you know uh you know most famous serial killers wiki most famous uh evil people in history wiki like it's i don't think that's one but it should be i've been reading about weather lately and as a topic i think it might be boring, so I will not be explaining weather to people. Also, I'm not that qualified, because I read it and I get maybe half of it. But weather is so complicated. There is so many factors. I feel like, how do you even collect the

data to guess what the weather's going to do next? It involves the land and the sea and the ocean, and it's all based on two core things, which is hot and... Three core things. If I could say, weather's built on heat expanding, cold contracting. It's based on those things kind of being attracted to each other. And something called the Coriolis effect, which means that the Earth spins. And it causes things in the northern hemisphere to generally go clockwise and southern climate clockwise anyway that like those like little things combined with like a million other like every fucking tree in the field and and whether there's

a parking lot there like and how that impacts the micro and macro weather um um i'm at the limits of my understanding of like like what i can learn I need to read this book more than once. It's one of those things where it's so complicated. I guarantee this is the wrong way to think about it, I'm about to say. But I'm like, oh, you're saying New York's going to be underwater in 2022. You can't tell me what days it's going to snow this winter, asshole. So I don't believe you. There's no way.

You can't tell me what days in December it's going to snow. So, asshole. So I don't believe you. Like, there's no way you can't tell me what days in December it's going to snow. So no way New York is going to be underwater. But I realized while I'm saying that or thinking that it's like, even I know as I'm thinking that that is so wildly simplistic for how the weather works, but then it's like, but I don't know enough to dispute it. Like,

I don't know. So I could see why people fall into a trap of thinking like that and being like, oh, all this climate change stuff. They can't tell me what temperature is going to be on Saturday, much less when the Balkans collapse into the seas. People hate weathermen so much. I remember the contractor that worked on this house. If you guys remember, I had this contractor who did a whole bunch of work before we moved in, and he sucked. He said it would take him two weeks. It took him over three months.

He had all these cost overruns and billing practices that were dishonest. And he was terrible. But he was talking to me. And this is before our relationship really turned south. And he's like, what have I been, right? Can you believe them? Who else gets to be that bad at their job and keep it? And I'm thinking, fucking you.

You. You are that bad at your job. You it? And I'm thinking, fucking you. You. You are that bad at your job. You said it'd be two weeks. We're two months into this thing. I'm getting like $11,000 surprise bills. How do you get a fucking five-digit surprise bill? And he's talking about how weathermen don't know what they're doing. I looked up the forecast for what it would be this weekend like three days ago,

and it hasn't changed by a single degree. Like they're nailing it they nail it all the time the weather forecast not that they nail it every time like all the time implied that but you don't give them credit when it's 46 degrees out and they said it was going to be 48 or something you know you're not like hey they got it right you just only notice it when they're like you know probably won't snow and then it's a huge amount of snow and they're like oh fucking you, probably won't snow. And then it's a huge amount of snow. And they're like, oh, fucking, you know, Billy Dimwit over there on Channel 6 saying it won't snow. The one time they get it, like, typically I feel like snow is the big one. I don't know why.

It seems like they're pretty accurate with rain and they're pretty accurate with temperature. But they can be wildly wrong on whether it snows or how much it snows. And they just nail weathermen to the cross. But I think they're pretty good. And I watch the weather a lot. Kyle, thoughts on the weather? It's just to catch you up. It's just how outside changes over time.

Kyle, do you want to call this guy and try to negotiate for just the code? Oh, he gave away the punchline. Yes. Yes, I do. Okay. All right. So people watching, I'm going to mess with the freaking – Kyle and Taylor are going to disappear.

I'll bring them back. I'm just trying not to share this guy's phone number. Isn't that what John Cena does? He goes, you can't see me. I'll bring him back. I'm just trying not to share this guy's phone number. Isn't that what John Cena does? You can't see me. Then he goes to like six Make-A-Wish kids on the way home. He's a good guy. Yeah.

Probably. I think so. Seems like a good guy. He's been on Stern a lot, so he always seemed a genuine guy. I'll probably end up sharing this phone number, but what the hell. I'm so hungry. I always do. Well, over halfway through the show, Kyle, so just two more hours i didn't eat today i really haven't eaten much either i didn't eat anything oh well it's not a contest no you're like oh well yeah i'm the same boat as you i don't eat much and i'm just like well

i didn't eat anything i don't have a boat I'm swimming over here hungry what do you have after this what's on the agenda on the docket for Kyle meal hmm Oh hi yeah I was calling about the new Call of Duty game yeah I I'd like to get it do you have a copy um well usually we get them two days before the release date so we'll probably get it like on november 2nd okay i'd like to get it before the release date though could we work something out with that uh yeah let me just get your name my name is Kyle Myers are you still that ky le my ers all right so usually every year we get two days early last year we were able to get it two days early so we're not sure we might get it one day before but usually it's

always two days so how can we facilitate me getting it well we're located near south central so i don't know where you're like yeah yeah i'm right by there yeah i could come down or i don't know if you'd be willing to mail it to me now i would pay you if you were willing to mail it to me we could do the transaction that way but but here's the thing though i i really don't care about the new call of duty i don't know if you know but like the thing this year is they're remastering call of duty 4 they're bringing it back and uh inside the new call of duty case apparently is the code that will allow me to play that game and that's all i really want so if we could do some kind of a deal where you

just hook me up with the code um you know maybe I give you $100 and you get me the code two days early. Like, I don't need it physically. You could just give me the code, right? I'm not sure about that because the legacy edition comes with both disks. Hmm. Yeah, that's the thing. Well, just to be safe, I guess I'll take the disks too. But is that something that you think we could do?

Maybe I give you like $100 and you give it to me two days early if I come down? Yeah, we have the Legacy Edition, but it comes with both games. I can't sell it separately. Okay, I'll buy both. All right, so I'll just get your name and is this the number I can call you on? Let me call you back. It's a different number. Yeah, let me call you back and get you my house number.

I just have moved in here, and I don't know what the apartment's phone number is. I don't like giving out my cell phone number. I'm kind of a big deal. All right, all right. I get it. All right, well, good talking to you. What was your name again? Josh. All right. Well, good talking to you. What was your name again? Josh.

All right, Josh. I'll call you back in just a minute from another phone. Yeah, I got to get that phone number. I'll call you right back. This will be good. All right. Sounds good. All right.

All right. Well, I win, right? We're done with that part. I feel like you didn't play the right game. That wasn't so much a prank as it was. That was the easiest person we've ever called. We just got it. He's going to give me the game two days early.

We won. That wasn't the game. He put up an ad saying, hey, I'm selling this game two days early, and the goal was to fuck with him and try and get it at a discount with just the— You didn't tell me you were calling. I guess maybe it was my job to click that link over there. He also didn't seem concerned about the price because you were like about 100 bucks. Yeah Kyle's like hey, I'll give you what you're asking for what you're selling. It's like I'm just not the joke

You're supposed to we were gonna negotiate for a thing I think I honestly thought that if he said I'll give you a hundred dollars you give it to me He'd be like well, it doesn't work like that. You know I thought it was gonna be a huge ordeal, but no it's just selling early copies he's selling early copies for a hundred dollars and kyle's like i'll tell you what i'll take half of it for a hundred and he's like oh well actually you can get all of it for a hundred and he's like well so there that's just a guy with free copies of call of duty or selling copies copies of the challenge was to get like half the game for half the price or something.

Well, the challenge would be to call someone who doesn't actually want to give us the game and then to be like, well, hey, maybe I could blow you. Or, hey, I just want the code. I didn't... Well, we secured the game, apparently, if anyone wants to head on down to South Central LA. Talk to Josh. Talk to Josh.

He's a straight up guy. Scream Josh. I'm here and wave's a straight up guy. Scream Josh. I'm here and wave a $100 bill around in South Central LA. That went really well. That was better than a prank for me because I've seen so many of these go badly where I really, I sincerely think most of the time we've done these before, I'm like, okay, Kyle's going to get the game. And then it never happens. Never.

It never happens. This guy immediately. Yeah. Yeah, it's fine. This works. I'll do it. Probably because he's an individual and not, you know, one of the GameStop ubermen who cannot allow the game to get out.

It's against the rules! You know? We can't do it! You know? They have a strict hiring we could call a uh we could call a walmart or a gamestop or i guess it'd be a walmart at this time of night to uh to attempt that but i think it really needs to be someone who's like not on board with selling it you know because we call a guy who's just selling it he's like sure i'll sell you somebody from

walmart they won't give it to you early exactly right. With that guy, he had it. The idea was to get him to sell half of it and be stuck with the other half. Hoping for someone who didn't want the remaster. That was the thing. I didn't have the script. It was in the Skype chat. Chiz wrote it in the PKA recording chat.

I knew that was the angle we were going in the joke all along because I mentioned that you spoiled it for the audience when you told them that's what we were doing you guys are getting a real meta look at prank calls right now yeah i just feel like that was the wrong guy to call for for the for that particular prank it's no big deal um find a store let's call gamestop see GameStop is gonna be closed I don't get right because it's 10 o'clock well I'm calling the East Coast but it's only like 715 on the west coast that's true okay if we try one of those um what's

the closest we've got before with a store Walmartmart or walmart or gamestop uh walmart probably but no kmart you did go nowhere oh yeah kmart well i mean that's a it's a real sinking ship they're selling all kinds of stuff out of there he's like you want some tvs too well at least kmart has their flagship store to keep them in business sears yeah i heard sears is selling off the Craftsman brand which really disappointed me hopefully it's carried on by somebody worthy this is a GameStop in LA

do you want to give it a go? sure I will alright so let's make Kyle and Mirka invisible if you have some little things to call me Thank you for calling GameStop, where you always save more with trades towards the hottest products, whether it's upcoming or new releases, or

our pre-owned games and accessories, which are the best value in gaming. To check current trade values, visit GameStop.com forward slash trade, or download the GameStop app for your smartphone or tablet. Press 1 to speak with a GameStop associate in your store. Oh, shit. I did not hear you. Let us try again.

1. 1. Thank you for calling GameStop, where you always save more with trades towards the hottest products, whether it's upcoming or new releases, or our pre-owned games and accessories, which are the best value in gaming. To check current trade values, visit GameStop.com forward slash trade or download the GameStop app for your smartphone or tablet. Press 1 to speak with a GameStop associate in your store.

I still did not hear you. Let us try one more time. No! Thank you for calling GameStop, where you always save more with trades towards the hottest products, whether it's upcoming or new releases, or our pre-owned games and accessories, which are the best value in gaming.

To check current trade values, visit GameStop.com or download the GameStop app for your smartphone or tablet. Press 1 to speak with a GameStop associate in your store. 1, 2, 1, 1, 1,

1, Oh, they hung up. They hung up. We were too unresponsive for the automated lady. Alright, wellestop doesn't really have i feel like gamestop has implemented a system to stop pka you know what walmart hasn't yet and certainly kmart hasn't those walls are being torn down by the day it's just a series of drug dealers and and uh maniacs running kmart if my understanding is correct all right this is walking dead i want to talk about the walking dead a little bit later started uh you you talked about it so much that i

finally uh started watching on netflix and it really is very good i picked up after the uh i don't know after the prison okay maybe i'll get back into it if we're going to talk about it now but i've got like five seasons to catch up on, and I can't do... Lucky you! No, but everybody said that the second and third seasons are terrible. Oh, they are. Can I just read a brief synopsis of them and continue?

Oh, yeah. There's YouTube videos that'll catch you up to season four or something. I'd recommend that, because I think season one is very good, and then seasons two and three are bad. The first half of season four is bad. And then from then on, it's pretty damn good. I didn't like

the blonde woman. I don't know what her name was in season one, but she was very unpleasant and not helpful. Yeah, I wish she had lived, though, honestly, so that the cannibals could have gotten her. Oh, she dies? When does she die? Yeah, she dies in season three. Maybe in... cannibals could have gotten her oh she dies when does she die she dies in season three uh maybe and

say they do these like half these weird half seasons like eight episodes at a time so i sometimes i'm not sure exactly so three or four um either late three or early four i was very happy when she died we all were we had just been talking shit about her like the week before yeah and then like i don't remember we used to record the character and we hated the actress that played her it was like you know i don't care that you're rich and famous i wouldn't invite you to my cookout because i just find you really hard to like like i just i don't know her expressions the way that she handled herself everything about her was just awful like oh my god she's a bad character too like like she was always doing stupid things to like you were you were just like frustrated while looking at her because she was

just bullshit she was just a whole bunch of bad writing uh made into a person it was bad writing personified it was just just hate her and when she died That was only half of it. It was like bad writing, having a character do stupid stuff. But I hated Joffrey, and when he died, I was like, you know what? I tipped my hat to the actor who invoked genuine dislike out of me. When she died, I tipped my hat to the writers who ended the pain of having to watch this bitch. See, she wasn't going for dislike. You're supposed to love Andrea. When she dies, you're supposed to be like, oh, no. See, she wasn't going for dislike. You're supposed to love Andrea.

When she dies, you're supposed to be like, oh, no. Oh, no, they bit Andrea. No. You're right. Nobody thought that. Yeah, there's this real sad scene where they all are teary-eyed looking at her bitten, and they finally leave her with the gun

and walk away all teary-eyed, and then they hear the bang as she kills herself. And it's just supposed to be so sad and such a hard low of the show. And I'm just like, da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da, like, so happy

because I knew they'd replace her with another attractive woman who could act. Walmart? Yeah, who are the worst? Oh, we can do... As a next thing, you want to talk about the worst TV show characters that you just hate?

I have to think of some, but yeah, I'm sure there are. I looked up a quick list. It's like a jumping off point, but we can talk about that after Walmart. Super nerdy Lieutenant Barkley from Star Trek Next Generation. He was always a real bore.

They did like four Barkley-centric episodes. I hated them all. We're going to call Walmart now. Alright. Thank you for calling your local Walmart. We appreciate your business and look forward to the opportunity to serve you in our store.

For pharmacy, press 1. For electronics, press 2. For electronics, press 2. For pickup, press 3. For deli, press 4. To speak to an associate, press 0. To repeat this menu, press star. Dial a key. You don't hear it?

I've been dialing keys too. I guess neither one of us are getting it. For pharmacy, press 1. For electronics, press 2. 2. For pickup, press 3. 2. For deli, press 4.

Oh, my gosh. To speak to an associate, press 0. To repeat this menu, press star. What? Fucking Skype. That's where I'm putting the the frustration on this one i'll tell you what for anyone who's upset about prank phone calls we'll do some prank phone calls next week when we figure out how to do them correctly when we figure out how to dial yeah no i'm not

it's nobody's fault it's literally skype apparently doesn't that used to work we used to be able to dial numbers and talk something is getting in the way of that. The viewers are seeing it and they're hearing it. They're hearing us press the numbers and they're seeing it on their screen. They're hearing us say the numbers. We've done it for five years. Chucks!

See, now that first call looks pretty good, doesn't it? Because someone picked up, there was a conversation, everybody got along, and we got the product. A week from now, the product will be out. We'll have a different prank call. No, but a week from now, we'll call somebody

and we'll ask them for the call of duty ahead of this one or something. If you want to do some... Chiz likes prank phone calls. I like doing them. It's really just a matter of like, you know, is the audience, here's what I should have started with, audience out there. Do you enjoy prank phone calls? Would you like us to do more prank

phone calls? There's really two ways of doing them. We can do them like this, which as you've seen, can be littered and frothed with these little hiccups of tech issues and just Walmart not wanting to answer the phone and some junior employee just getting high in the back or something and not being near the telephone. I think we usually fill that in with us joking around and that's entertaining. Let us know if that's the case. Or I could record these things privately and then upload a video and

then we could play that video. But that's just so little fun for me. I've sat around for hours before trying to do that for you guys. And it's miserable for me because i need an audience to entertain i need people otherwise you don't have a real gauge of what's funny like you know what's really funny to you because it's just me by myself calling up this lady at a rock quarry trying to get her to donate money to this like 5k run for cloppers. I have an idea. How about we do PKN? Just throwing this out there, it's not a promise, but we could do PKN live and put prank phone calls in it.

If we can find a way to do that and make it fair for the patrons, of course, I would love to do that if we could do that, yes. Yeah. All right. So bad TV show characters, did you guys want to talk about that at all? I was to that am a question say on my list of things to cover so someone want to know about kitty so uh kitty has been working with me for like five or six years or something um uh her husband is in the navy um i don't know how much about her personal life she would want me to discuss but her husband's the navy royal fleet the royal fleet no the united states navy the best navy in the world um so she's he's oftentimes

literally like under an ice shelf and some kind of an attack submarine listening for the ruskies um he's like a literally that's what he does and so um because of that and because she's got some health issues it doesn't make sense for her to live alone. She can't drive. And so we have a house that we share together. And I think she's leaving in the somewhat near future. She was going to move earlier. We had a small hiccup with that that I don't want to talk about. But it's not a big deal. She's going to be leaving fairly soon and moving somewhere else with someone else. It's going to not too far away. She's not going very far. She wants to be somewhere with public transportation. But getting back to the original

question, the reason that she does live with me and we live together in our relationship is a working relationship where she manages all of my affairs and handles everything from advertising to getting me through the tax season every year somehow. So Kitty is a one stop do all kind of, I think maybe I insulted her at one point by calling her an assistant and that doesn't even come close kitty is amazing at what she does incredibly hard working uh brilliant and innovative and uh and it's because of kitty's hard work over the years that i've uh prospered so so that's what kitty does yeah the question was who is kitty explain kitty and why do you live in the same house and i covered it yeah. Yeah, that was, I got it.

Yeah. I get this question a lot and I hate it, but I guess I'll answer it in some feeble attempt to get it less often in the future. Hey, Woody, now that you're out of Woody Craft, what's next? Are you going to be semi sort of retired and live off vlogs and PKA?

I haven't the slightest idea how much you make. Or do you have another project in the pipeline? Shit. It almost feels to me like because i've achieved some level of success that like i have to keep achieving that level of success or i don't want to drop off like i'm a loser or something and i look at it slightly differently it's like i've achieved some level of success i won congratulations like Now I own my time. I'm worth a couple million. And the return rates that you'd expect over time sort of send me retired.

And I like that a lot. I do have other ideas for businesses that I could start. mostly passive income type things. And that's like slowly brewing. I could probably work harder at it, but I won't give it away. But yeah, mostly I'm just kind of, I guess, in between jobs. And I keep super busy. I wake up every day with a new thing to do. But I really like that I get to pick that thing. I feel like I live a life of choose to instead of have to. And I'm enjoying

that for a change of pace. That's the life of the Nightwing right there, my friends. That is the life of the Nightwing. Nightwing? I'm going to, yeah, that's, that's the superhero that he will be in the post-apocalyptic days when he like is able to fly in on and like do roof insertions and stuff he will be the Nightwing there it is yeah so and I feel like everyone's trying to be like oh no you got to start Woodycraft again it's like oh do you remember that I worked like 19 hours a day it was terrible uh like I don't know there was just I mean it was profitable and that was really neat. I enjoyed that part of it. But man, you talk about living a life of have to, like children threatening my children and stuff like all the time.

You might want to take a break from that too if that was where you're coming from. Yeah, makes sense. I was curious about that too. Well, that's great that you're pretty much able, because that's what everybody's working towards really, is because when you're retired, you don't want to just sit there and do nothing. Like you hear all the time from old people, if you ask them like, you know, oh, why are you doing Uber now?

And they're like, well, I'm 71 and I was bored as shit for a decade before this came around. I had nothing to do. And it's like, oh, well, okay. Like I can see that. Like, but you have an even better where you're more well off and so it's more just like i choose to fly around the peasants i choose to buy llamas to cut my yard you'll just be some eccentric guy with a llama get llamas no don't get a lot of the prophecy goats get goats you can kill the goats when they're when they're big and fat.

Eat them. Goat's the most common meat eaten in this world. Did you know that? I'm almost... That's probably true. Man. I love it. That could be true.

It's because of the Middle East. It's the most popular sex toy, too. Yeah. Oh. One billion Muslims can't be wrong. Second place, Hitachi Magic Wand. Yeah, yeah. yeah oh yeah one billion Muslims can't be wrong second place a touchy magic wand yeah yeah that's what I do I did it today we went and we gentlemen do you think the Venus for men is powerful ha have you had Carl the goat yeah but when

I read that question when people are like what are you doing now what are you doing now i you know in my head it wraps up to be some sort of big like i don't know what's your next adventure if your next adventure doesn't top your previous one then i'll be disappointed in your outcome like like um shit no you're bilbo baggins after the adventure you know there and back at least after the first one you know, there and back again. At least after the first one. You've been there and now you're going back, but you're going back richer, more experienced, fuller, confident that you can start your Hobbiton garden,

grow everything you want, and just have a happy life. Rick Moranis played Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, right? And Honey, I Blew Up the Kids and stuff like that. And then if I have the story right, his wife died. And so he just sort of stopped working in Hollywood. He had what he needed. And he raised the kids, right? Honey, I raised the kids.

I feel like no one looks at him and is like, oh my god, your career is so dead now. You suck at acting because he hasn't, I don't know that he's been in anything recently. No, he has not acted in all that time. Yeah. and i feel like no he won he won that's what you want to do why would you want to work the whole time like yeah he was

like oh i have all the money i need and my wife passed away and i don't need to hire a nanny of course of course i'm going to raise my kids like that like he really that's winning i feel bad for patten oswald i uh that really sucks you know such sucks. Such a likable guy to see his wife die that early. That really sucks. Oh, I forgot about that. That was only a few months ago. I like him a lot. Yeah, I like him a lot.

He seems like such a genuinely good guy, and he's so quick, and I like that. So you can get nerdy about Lord of the Rings sometimes, but he can hit five genres at once uh if you ever want to see some really funny pat and oswald ad lib um it's yeah you know it i'm sure it's parks and recreation uh there's a part where the filibuster is required and he filibusters by describing this like i don't know if it was going to be the next avengers movie it was like an avengers star wars like blend uh and, there's all kinds of multiple universes.

And Thanos' glove is influencing all kinds of stuff. And he's just rambling really fast, like, getting all this out. Meanwhile, like, Leslie Snope or whatever. What's her name? Leslie? Leslie Knope. Yeah. All of them are, like, trying to interrupt him and stop him.

He's like, no, no, no. No. All of them are trying to interrupt him and stop him. He's like, no, no, no. No, the octopus will have laser eyes, and out comes Chewbacca. Yes, robot Chewbacca with octopus tentacles will emerge and save him. And he's just going on this crazy rant about this alternate universe movie he wants to see. And it's very funny.

I liked it a lot. I like Patton Oswalt a lot. His comedy, his stand-up's good. Him on a talk show is good. Just Patton Oswalt a lot. His comedy, his stand-up's good. Him on a talk show is good. Just Patton Oswalt is good, you know what I mean? A conversation with him is... He's quick, and he'll throw a thing in there, and I really enjoy him. Very entertaining guy.

I think I listened to every episode of him on Opie and Anthony from years ago, and that was still a show when he was on there. One of my favorite guests because he's just hilarious. Like you said, just so quick witted. That does suck. He has a very young daughter to cancer.

Really? I saw a tweet on the Donald. It was so savage. Did you guys see it? No. What did it do about Patton Oswald? He said something to the effect of like, you guys are lying about Hillary Clinton being

sick. And it wasn't Trump or anyone official. Yeah, I saw it burning. But it was a Trump enthusiast, just a random dude who was like, maybe if you knew how to recognize a sick woman, your wife would still be alive. Oh, that's a burn!

That is a mean, that is a skank hunt 42 level troll. That is out to hurt. Not for the gigs. Oh my gosh. Not for nothing. And then it made a run on Reddit and it was just like, oh my God, it's so wrong. But that's a burn. Wow.

Yeah, that's a mean spirited thing to say to someone come on now you're gonna jump in there and start start start making yourself political even though you're a stand-up comic you better be ready for someone to make a joke that's in poor taste because that's his thing anyway that's true i mean like you have to expect the worst from the internet and it was a joke it's a funny joke right like It's not like the guy was like, your wife's dead and she's never coming back. Enjoy raising your four-year-old daughter to be a whore. That's not what he said.

He said, why aren't you talking about... Yeah, if he had said that... Pat Oswald, are you some sort of noted expert? No. So fuck you. If you could recognize a sick woman, your wife would still be here it's funny it's a good burn all right what is the progress on hot wings of redemption hot sauce

so that's it's scrapped right that weeks ago yeah i said that weeks ago whenever um somebody got whenever it got back to us that he was going on i honestly don't know what a discord is but i i think that it's a big audio... Like a chat. I think it's like Skype with no video. Okay. But I heard that he was going on there where there's PKA fans or something, just telling all kinds of random lies. So I said, fuck him forever.

He's just too much of a toxic person to be around. I literally drive to the guy's house and I'm like, hey. Is that what killed it, though? It seemed like it wasn't marching along before that either. I had it here. It was just a matter of doing the labels and getting them. It was a matter of doing it. But it was here.

The hot sauce was here. It's all been sent back now. It was like $850 worth of hot sauce. So I did not like that at all. I thought at one point I was like maybe taylor's terrific hot sauce and was like no no kyle's killer cayenne no kkk will not sell hot sauce no no so i uh i eventually like called him back and i was like look we decided not to do this thing uh and they were excited about it because i had sent him the pictures already of him looking just we all saw the

pictures and they thought it was hilarious um but but no the whole thing was like a fun thing to do with the fans and to make him a little bit of money it wasn't gonna make a lot of money like i think it was gonna make like i don't know two hundred dollars split several ways and yeah yeah it wasn't a winner it was it was me working and doing a thing that i just thought would be nice and fun to do and then he goes And like does all that and said just just blatant lies Especially about woody you know just shit Yeah You too. It'd be like it's like when we it would be like if I said for a fact that

That Donald Trump did a thing I don't fucking know what he's done and then likewise wings has no fucking idea what we do because we're in zero contact with him Last time I saw wings was when I drove all the way his house and took those pictures for him and paid for everything and then and likewise, Wings has no fucking idea what we do because we're in zero contact with him. Last time I saw Wings was when I drove all the way to his house and took those pictures for him and paid for everything and then promised him to get him his money as soon as we sold the stuff and said, no, no, no, forget that little percentage you asked for. I'm going to give you more money. I'm going to give you a flat cash for this thing

so you feel like you're getting your money's worth. And then, of course, he goes and lies about us again behind our back, talking shit where he shouldn't be. So fuck him. He's just a bad person. You make enough bad decisions, you're a bad person, whether you like it or not. Bad people don't like themselves.

They don't say, ha-ha, I'm a bad person. I like it. Bad people realize they're bad people, and they don't like it either. So just because he's like, yeah, I make mistakes sometimes, doesn't make him a good person. It just makes him a self-aware bad person. So I'm not going to deal with that anymore.

I didn't know we were going to go in that hard on him. But yeah, he did say something. he said that i was getting a divorce which is totally untrue and oh this is that it's not born out of anything like i haven't one it's one it's just not true two i haven't been talking to wings so it was completely like made up in thin air i happen to know there's an ironclad prenup there and jackie would be in big trouble if that's not even true but um that's an example of me fucking making up a lie about you now imagine i wouldn't said that imagine that kyle is on some like on twitter or on some discord or whatever the fuck saying yeah woody has this prenup jackie's

been wanting to leave for years she can can't. She can't go anywhere. She'd be destitute. Like, that's me making up some bullshit about your personal life. And that's the level of stuff he was saying. And I talked to him about it. And he was like, man, you know, I talked for so long. And that's the thing they took away. And it was just like, I don't know.

Why he would go on the PKA Discord and talk about the hosts and say stuff. For attention. He wants attention, and I guess we're giving it to him. But I'm vying to do a – I wouldn't have – you notice I haven't said anything about it. I answer it because you, sir, are a fine patron. You paid your money, and you get your question answered just like the rest. If you'd like to join that, man, what does it cost to get your question answered? I think it's the $10 level that they can answer.

$10? That's a lot. And you also get PKA early. You get updates from Chip as he's – I think it's the $10 level. $10, that's all? And you also get early. You get updates from Chip. I think Chip, he's actually changing his name to Chip. He said that he prefers it. He said it makes more sense. He's like, there are no Chizzes out there. I can't get one of those little keychains with the placard on it that says Chiz.

Shotglasses. Yeah, there's all sorts of complications. Chip's coming back. It's like the new Chris. I'm sorry says Chiz. Shot glasses. Yeah, there's all sorts of complications. Chip's coming back. It's like the new Chris. Chip, I'm sorry. Chiz hates the name Chip. Hates it so much. Real quick though.

It's kind of funny. On this back end of like the creep of like the like shit talk about you, Woody. I completely forgot about this. And I messaged Kyle at the time, I think, about it. It was like after we'd finished a PKA, real soon after, I got a message on Skype. And it just had your logo, said Woody's Gamertag. And I was like, oh, okay, I guess Woody pinged me and wanted to say something.

And it just said, hey, are you there? Can we talk? And I was like, oh, what's up, man? And whoever it was tried to call me i tried to answer it nothing happened i'm like that's weird and then he just wrote like uh oh i can't talk i'll just uh try and get with you later and i'm like no dude like because in my head i'm like we just finished pka why would you message me again saying we got to talk and then say you know fuck it i was like no it's something oh he didn't want to do voice i i'm just catching on yeah and then i got a message it was like uh man me and

it was at this time after i wrote back that that i saw add to contacts and i'm like this is not woody i have been taken by a master ruseman for a little for it for a trip and so i just like he messaged back like me and jackie are really struggling you know and i like at that point i messaged con i'm like hey do you know uh why someone pretending to be woody would message me about him and his wife's relationship problems like what the fuck and you were like just keep talking to him and see where this goes no no this is just i'm blocking this person this is weird uh like if i if I got online and pretended to be someone else to talk to one of those person's friends to convince them that that person was having personal problems, that's a genuinely mean thing to do.

Like that's, that's very, that's mean spirited. Jackie and I are great. Like that's, I don't know. My marriage is one of the things that I've got going that I was really good. So yeah, and I don't even remember the other things that Wings said, but there were a couple of things. He talked about my net worth. And, like, I don't know.

I'm not insinuating, by the way, that that was Wings. I don't think that was. It was far too low. I forget if it was high or low. It wasn't far. It was low. It was low. I just felt like it wasn't his place to talk about it.

That should be just my place. I don't – And people think that when it comes from Wings of Redemption, it has a certain authority behind it, right? Like he has an inside scoop. Can I jump in on that regard? You fans out there are closer to Woody and I and Taylor, I suppose, for that matter, than Wings is ever going to be again.

Like you guys, especially who are patrons, who are doing the weekly chats with us, how I'm spacing your names, but like we hang out with the same like six or eight fans every week in like a video conference. I'm much closer to them. They know much more about my personal life and my doings literally

because when they ask like personal questions, I feel comfortable sharing them because we're in an audience of eight. So like they actually know like what we've got going on in our personal lives and what we're working on and stuff like that. Wings has no fucking idea about anything. Wing doesn't know what's going on in his own little world over there, which is where he should focus his attention. I don't want to go all scorched earth on him or anything. I'm not going scorched earth.

The second half of that was, but he made some real emotional withdrawals when he started going on Discord and talking shit about me. Because there was, like, it wasn't preempted by anything. Like, it just, out of the blue, suddenly he's doing this. And I'm like, what is this all about? All right. This seems like a great time to tell everyone a little bit about Movement Watches. The past few months, we've been working a lot with Movement movement watches. We love them. You guys love them so I asked myself why do I only have one? You see movement offers different color bands,

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Or as the Vlogbrothers call it, the doodly-doo. Nobody should call it that. The doodly-doo? They do, it that. The doodly-doo? They do, yeah. I like it. I hear you guys. Thanks, Flanders. I love your YouTube channel. I love the Vlogbrothers channel.

I will not accept this. These people make the Earth a better place. They are people that we should all aspire to be. I think so highly of the Vlogbrothers. Their Crash Course channel and their Vlogbrothers channels are inspirational to me.

They're one of the reasons I got back into vlogging. And I think they do an incredibly job. An incredibly job, yeah. An incredible job. This episode also sponsored by the Vlogbrothers. No, no. I'm just a fanboy. I'm just a fan.

Check them out in the doodly-doo. In the doodly-doo. They have good hearts, and I like that about them. Obviously, they run a business and whatever, but they've somehow managed to combine a profit motive with improving the planet. That's right. I'm sure they're good at vlogging. to combine a profit motive with improving the planet. And I think that's pretty neat. I'm sure they're good at vlogging.

I don't really know what... I know they're a more educational channel, right? Education, inspiration, life experience. I like it when they talk about themselves a lot. Oftentimes they'll explain some problem in the world right now. It's hard to follow the news. Like, hey, what is this Syrian refugee thing? Everything I get is so biased, and they lay it out there pretty well.

But I really like it when they talk about themselves and be like, ah, here's a personal failure or success that I've had, and share that with me. They do good stuff. Taylor. Let me see. There was a question. Good AMA for me? I do for me I do oh I wanted to pick up another no no no good ones for Taylor what I have the one I have highlighted

is not the one I wanted to do next it was about a pka adventure oh here it is what were you guys scheduling an expk a trip I would really like paintball but more Northeast America upstate New York please I have been thirsting for a PKA trip recently. And so part of it is just doing something. But I watched a Casey Neistat video. And his mom told him when he was young that, like, don't waste your money on travel and trips. You know, because that just goes away a week later it's gone you know buy things and you can accumulate it and it's more of a like

a long-term investment um and he was like mom i i think you've got that backwards and he put together this trip like video of a trip he took and he climbed like the tallest mountain with his friends in africa like on a lark by the way incredible athlete like who dude if you asked me to like hey woody you know what let's all get together like no planning no nothing let's just climb like mount kilimanjaro or something and that might literally be the mountain i'd be like i'm obviously going to die on this trip you know like i can't climb out at the very least you'll be so tired that i'd be like i'm obviously going to die on this trip you know like i can't climb out at the very least you'll be so tired that you'll be like manufacturing excuses where it's like oh i gotta you know tie my boot again that's the third time this hour yeah i know i'm fucking

exhausted in his 30s like he routinely is like oh 10 miles at a seven minute pace each mile like really i got one seven minute i don't really have a seven minute mile. He ran 10 miles in an hour and 10 minutes. This is like normal for him. A seven minute pace, yeah that's what it would be. And it just like, this is insane. Or he'll be like, ah, seven minutes, 15 seconds. I hate these new shoes, my feet hurt so much.

He's like, are you crazy? That's fast. When I was 17, i ran like a 6 20 something mile and even at like 17 at that gym i was like this is the best it's ever going to be because the only reason you're doing this right now is because you get graded on it and you hate it every step of the way there was like i i hate running so much it like like i'm angry at the fact that i'm doing it when i'm doing it or i'm like this is bullshit every step is just another exercise and frustration

and aggravation just ah i wish i loved running i wish and people talk about the runner's high and i can picture the way casey runs just floating across the ground effortlessly with efficiency and joy and and and like a proud feeling of about himself that is not how i run you know it's a better high than the runner's high it's all the other highs that you get without having to run i i've run like casey wood if you gave him a hundred pound backpack just thudding each step like awfulness so anyway uh back to back to the thing he was talking about this trip and how it shaped him and he's like mom, Mom, I think you got it backwards. Like part of who I am was guided by this trip.

This guy that I barely knew before this trip, he and I are now brothers for life from this experience that they've gone through. And now I'm not suggesting we climb Mount Kilimanjaro, but I am suggesting we do a thing. Let's go hike some Appalachian Trail. What if I come back too? Let's go. Let's get a wrecked car, fix it, and make a trip out of it. Like, let's have an adventure. Let's buy some motorcycles and take them to Canada.

I don't know. Like, I saw a motorcycle for $1,500. It was like a 1968 Honda Cafe Racer. And I'm like, I should be buying this and taking it to, like, San Diego. I know a gentleman who offered to sell me his motorcycle the other day for $2,000. And his friend was there who knows something about motorcycles. And while the seller walked away, he was like, look, you said you didn't really want a bike. But that exhaust alone was $900.

And he's put those lights on there and these tires and this it's like this thing has 1500 worth of upgrades here and here you know this this bike's worth four grand so i was so close to buying it just seemed like you know like you know what it was the model year and model make i want to say it was so what they told me was that heart that that i don't remember which company it was i think it was a it was a honda maybe but they said that that they were sued over how much like a harley it looked like or something because of that model and i just don't know anything about bikes at all really i'm not sure but but but it looked nice it looked in my opinion it looked a little bit too low for me but

yeah a motorcycle trip would be cool so what you're saying is you'd like to do a thing yeah i want to add an adventure and i think it might be neat if in my dreams we do something that's kind of hardish it could be a five-day hike a five-day sail nice kyle you're in your adventure mode it could be a five-day hike a five-day sail a five-day sale. Nice, Kyle. You're in your adventure mode. It could be a five-day hike, a five-day sale, a five-day challenge of some sort. I'm just inventing all this. And at the end of it, that's when the meetup is.

That's when we're going to a restaurant with fans or who knows what. And we emerge from our period of discomfort and they greet us with sugary drinks. That would be cool. It would be a thing to do. I want to do a thing. We should do a five-day trip somewhere

where it's very pleasant. Like a five-day vacation. And we just complain about the minor things that we don't like in the all-inclusive resort. Right. Can you believe the salt shakers were halfway full? That margarita did not have kosher salt on the rim. I'm going to tell you that right fucking now.

If you guys could take this hot dog, you would know this is not 100% beef. There's turkey in there. This is not kosher. We're suffering more than you know. The fans should, when we got like a hundred thousand creative minds like maybe they could come up with something you'd be surprised though you guys usually come up with nothing if i'm being quite honest i think you would think that if you had a if you put a hundred thousand people together and aggregated their thoughts and and like intelligences into

one ball of something you'd get a good idea here. No. No. Not with this sample group. No, sir. Just cruelty and malice. That's all we can farm from you, Jace. That's true. They do that. There was a popular, like, this guy had an idea that everybody loved on the survival trip.

He's like, let's take somebody who's really, really annoying, someone that no one likes or can tolerate tolerate and just ruins like the environment for everyone around them and add him to the trip and i'm like oh my god i'm already like hungry and thirsty and tired and did it we invited chiz anyway oh stop it wasn't hard to get along with you keep those cigarettes in his between his two fingers and he's a happy guy. I don't know. Well, the thing is something. Here's some things on the top of my head that I'm interested in.

I like driving and driving things that go fast. I would like to drive a car, like a rally car, like on some curvy road or in a desert. Dune buggies in the desert i like jumping things in other things uh i like things that have roll cages so that i can go hardcore and just wreck and have fun with the wreck um i i don't i um i would do any kind of an aircraft related thing um i don't want to get in the water physically paramotoring see see i You said any kind of aircraft-related thing. We all heard it. We can play back the tape. Yes, we can. I mean, I told you from the outset of the paramotoring thing,

I was into it and interested in it. That's right, you did. I was like, I'll get one as long as it doesn't cost more than $4,000 or $5,000. But it turned out it was more expensive than that. Not quite a hobby as much as it had to be a passion to get it done correctly. Because it's dangerous. So I let you lead the way on that one. I think I'll retire from any thoughts

of paramotoring myself. But I would get in a stunt plane and do a thing. I would any kind of a fast boat or anything like that. I wonder what it would cost to get a lot of jumps in and get some sort of jump certification to the point where we were like intermediate skydivers.

That's Richard Ryan. We'd go to Tennessee, and we could do our jump certification in a week. You could do a dozen jumps a day or more. You'd go up, you'd land, you'd pack your chute, and go right back up again. I do not particularly want to go skydiving. No?

No. Come on, man, get vertical! That seems really... I don't like heights already, and knowing that I'd be in the sky, and it's like, there's nothing to grab! I would have a panic attack. I don't want to do that. That seems scary.

That panic attack thing... I don't know if panic attack is, and I've talked about this before with the para. Spell PK with our bodies in the sky. I've never had an experience before paramotoring where fear made me stupid. And it did, you know, like, like I, I forgot things that I had to know. I don't think it would happen to me in skydiving because of the paramotoring. Like I've been in the sky before now but

it's on my mind there's a real chance that Woody would just get dumb and I don't know, I was nervous paramotoring you're going to be tandem the first time anyway that's true that's what the adventure would be

it's easy to pump these things up and be like, oh shit, when we get there, we're actually going to be strapped to some dude's belly. But that's what would happen. We'd be strapped to some dude's belly and we'd fall out of the air and then land with a parachute.

I'll do it. I don't want to. I am afraid of it. That's a first jump. The idea is to get, like, do the... Certified. You're talking about getting jump certified. And I guess the...

I think to get jump certified doesn't take that long at all. Like we could definitely do that in a week or maybe even a weekend. But he was talking to me about getting certified for wingsuiting once. And he was saying that – he's like, we could do it in a couple weeks. You just go up, go down, go up and down, up and down, like all day, every day. And I don't remember the cost. It's going to be in the thousands, but it's not going to be more than one or two, I don't think. But maybe I'm wrong. I would do it. I don't remember the cost. It's going to be in the thousands but it's not going to be more than one or two I don't think. But maybe I'm wrong. I would do it. I don't want to. That's not the top of my list because I am afraid of it.

It would scare me. I would be uncomfortable but I would do it. I want to be uncomfortable. That's the point. If I just laid in a beach chair on the sand for a week then I wouldn't have done anything i wouldn't have ever been memory you ever been flogged with a with a baseball bat because i could i could give you a little discomfort if it'll keep me out of the air i mean we could rough you up if you just want to be uncomfortable we could find a a lumpy mattress no anything but that that's what i stayed at kyle's place once and he just was terrible or were you on the couch

it was an air mattress that wasn't like the bladder wasn't where it went and and it literally it was like deflated on half and inflated in the other and uh yeah there's a nice bed now it was a damn it was a bad weekend all around, so I just didn't complain. I had to buy a bed whenever Wings came. We bought a queen bed to lay his. Now I see where I rank. Woody gets a broken air mattress. Wings of Redemption gets a real bed and a bathroom remodel.

Well, to be fair. That's true, Woody. It's a plumpy mattress, and they made a special bathroom just for wings. He got a special bathroom the same way elephants get a special shower. He didn't get some fancy thing. He just got something that could accommodate him, that's all. And the reason he got his own bed is because he tried to sleep on the futon, and it immediately exploded.

He immediately broke my $300 futon. I didn't say a word. I just threw it in the dumpster and didn't make him feel bad and just bought him a bed but that's the kind of treatment that uh that you get from your from your friend Kyle for you not me not me that's not the kind of freedom that I got at all oh well you know I mean I'm not talking to you Woody I'm talking about Wings of Redemption he gets the the first class treatment. You come to town, we'll put you where you go. Whatever. Yeah. I would have been more comfortable sleeping in my truck.

I really should have. That's the damn same. I'm sorry for that. I've slept on a bad air mattress. Me and my girlfriend, my ex-girlfriend slept one night on an air mattress. We all went to this mansion that these people had. But for some reason, it didn't have beds in it. It had like 18 bedrooms. They just had bought bought it that's what it was they just had bought

this mansion and they were like let's go to the new house let's party and we had live music and stuff and some people had beds but we didn't and uh and i just remember do i know this person no and i just remember the uh the middle of the air mattress was just gone to the point where like the the the lowest point of my spine if i like did that like like moved my weight up and down would hit the floor it would like hit floor and you know throughout the night it's this process of getting up pumping up the air mattress waking her like come on we gotta get up we gotta get up and make the bed right this ain't working i'm laying on wood it sucks mine was because mine like half of the mattress was just on the floor. It was

deflated. So it was really like an extra large air pillow. But it would support, like, your head and spine almost. So you just sort of slept in a reclined position. This is what happens when I'm preoccupied with someone else because I am always the guy who is conscious

of everyone around me's comfort level and trying to avoid, like, little to avoid little social faux pas and stuff. I'm always one step ahead with that sort of thing, trying to avoid it. So normally I would have been worrying about where you were sleeping for a day and a half, two days. Yeah, you were busy. I didn't even say anything. Yeah, I don't care. I hear you. I know. But I'm trying to think where I was going with that.

Normally you're on top of people's consciousness. Oh, yeah. We've been in the car before. I'll tell you a perfect example of this. I hadn't known my girlfriend very long, but she and I are picking Kitty up from the airport in my truck, and Kitty can't ride in the back seat because of her back. It hurts her too much, and she apparently gets nauseous in the back seat, which is a lie, she tells, so she can ride in the front. That's probably not true. I think it is

but either way I'm certainly not going to have a whole like talk with her about how she lies and just wants to sit in the front seat because she gets car sick because she's just been doing it for so long we're going to go with it. So I know heading up there that like I'm going to have to tell my girlfriend that she needs to get in the backseat because Kitty needs to sit in the frontseat. She needs the frontseat. But I knew as I'm pulling in that I need to address this because if I don't say anything, if I'm just like, hey, get in the back. Kitty's getting in. It's going to be a thing.

She's going to be like, well, why does Kitty supplant me? She's going to feel downgraded. Right, right. She feels supplanted. You know, like, oh, I guess I'm the backseat whore. All right, then. Let me just sit back here, Massacre. All right, all righty. You know, like, oh, I guess I'm the backseat whore. All right, then. Let me just sit back here, Massacre. All right, all righty.

You know, she's not going to like it at all. So, you know, but if you get ahead of things like that, I think you avoid social situations. Let me tell everyone about our final sponsor of the night. A sponsor that's very, very close to my, well, not my heart, but my eyes. Diff Eyewear offers stylish, handmade sunglasses constructed from high-end materials. They're as good or better than designer sunglasses without the

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15% off. That's legit percentage off. It is. You both look dope. You're very, very reflective glasses. No one is going to get to see. You can look at whatever you want behind those lenses. Nobody's going to know. You get eyes all over the place.

I just did and I bet people didn't know. I have no idea where you're going. You could definitely do your creep thing with these if you're on the beach. These are like Trumpian. What should people be, Kyle? Pardon me? What should people be?

They should be diff. You know what I've been for too long? Same. Pardon me? What should they be? What should people be? They should be diff. They should be diff. You know what I've been for too long? Same. I've been same for far too long. It's about time I injected a little bit of diff into my life. And this is what's going to do it. So check out some diff eyewear.

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style. I can only imagine that there may be Tom Cruise and Top Gun is what they're going for. Mine say Riley on the insides. i like to think of myself as more of a val kilmer but i'll uh i'll wear them nonetheless um yeah so i'm digging the diff they do feel pretty good they uh they just they make me wonder they made me wonder do i make these glasses look good or do these glasses make me look good?

It's quite the concept. I'm Ray Charles. He's being Stevie Wonder. No, fuck Stevie Wonder. Ray Charles had the real talent. We have Spanish angels at the altar of the sun. I can play the piano. If you could choose one thing to be universally socially acceptable, what would it be? Nudity.

Oh, being naked in public. Really? Simultaneous agreement! I was going with slurping your soup to make it cooler. No, that bothers me. I don't like it when people are very noisy when they eat. I've got a better one. I've got a better one, and this would help me a lot, but you might not hate it as much.

I wish it was okay to drink from the bowl as you finish your cereal or soup. Isn't it? I do it in private, but in a restaurant? In a Japanese restaurant? I think Japanese and most Asian restaurants, I think, in Asian culture, you're supposed to drink out of the bowl when you're done, right? You know what the real question here is? What kind of cereal do you, Woody, order at a fucking restaurant?

Oh, cereal? You're talking about cereal? I said soup and cereal. Oh, my apologies. Certainly with soup... And cereal I sometimes have at hotels in the morning. So I don't think that soup... So I've never

drank soup because the spoon gets the job done i feel like but with with milk the reason i the reason i drink the milk is because it's not milk anymore it's cocoa pebbles milk or it's cinnamon toast crunch milk it's an infused version of milk that is sweeter chocolater and overall tastier than just regular milk i would pour the fucking milk out i don't want that i want that that that cow water. I don't need that so But I will drink the Cocoa Pebbles milk whatever because it's delicious, and I don't care who sees it I'm not ashamed of that. I'm gonna drink the milk It's not like I'm like slurping it up or anything so yeah even in a restaurant if I I'll tell you what an example

Where I would actually cereal imperfect like at the at the hotel you know the the morning uh breakfast bar cereal I think I may have drank my uh my cinnamon toast crunch milk that morning if I'm in front of people I swear it takes like 45 spoons to finish off your milk you're not even getting full spoon at that point because you know what size spoon are you using I use an 18 gauge. I use a soup spoon typically. There's your mistake. My spoon is enormous. You could kill a man. I use a ladle. I don't know how you fit those

things in your mouth. You don't. You just go... Have you ever seen Oliver Twist? Where he tests the soup and then Oliver walks back up and he goes, Please, sir. I'd like some more. And then he goes, More! And then I think they start singing, but I don't remember what happened.

They start beating him. That's the musical. It's a musical, Oliver Twist. They start ripping his ass for being an impudent little boy asking for fucking more. He should be happy with what he gets yeah did you want people to be universally naked so that you could run around naked or so you could see naked people oh no so i can run around naked and then seeing naked people would be that would neutralize i think because actually no it would more than neutralize because there are way more people out in the world that I would rather not see naked

than those I would rather see naked, so maybe this isn't a great idea. See, I'm already seeing holes in it, because... Real quick, though. If you are a really sexy woman, everybody wants to see you naked. You can't be giving that out for free.

That's part of the package. You keep that back. You hold back. Old guy at YMCA who keeps his leg up on the fucking bench too long when he should be drying off, letting his sack hang out. That is how he dries off. That guy is going to be naked. I like to air dry, boy. So I don't know.

But it would be nice to be able to walk around naked. It would make it so that I was always in better shape. I would always be in better shape if I was walking around naked all the time. I've said this for a while now, you know, and I'm not talking to you if you're 16 or 17 years old. But let's say you're in college and you're smoking hot and you know who you are. It is your obligation to be sexy something on Halloween.

You don't get that many chances to just be sexy whoever. Do yourself and society a good... You won't be this sexy forever. I've been around the block. It's going to leave you. So, live it up this Halloween. If you're 19 years old and you're gorgeous, slutty nurse, slut slutty maid slutty cat

slutty pumpkin i don't care that's your costume do it right there's very there's like two types of girls out there on halloween obviously the one of i'm a sexy nurse i'm a sexy cop i'm a sexy soldier i'm a sexy this sexy that and then there's the girl who is like melissa who is so into like a real costume that like i was saying like when we were buying stuff like i'll just order a fucking like ramsey looking cape with some fake fur off amazon i don't care and she's like no i'm gonna go to joanne's i'm gonna find a fabric i'm gonna sew it up it's gonna look so much better that way i'll get your measurements and she's like jesus christ like you're taking this so seriously and like it's good because she makes good costumes and whatnot I have faith that'll look good, but that's so true

I don't remember what fucking meme I saw but that is all women ever met I never I see guys do costumes to be funny Or sometimes guys show up at a costume party with like just like a hotdog suit like that shitty like fabric I had a friend literally who wore that every Halloween. All through high school. By the end of it we had to be like. Dude Tyler this smells like shit. Have you ever watched this?

Because every Halloween we all get hammered. And something ends up going down. And you're getting all sweaty with booze sweat. But girls don't do that. You never see a girl be like. You know what I'm just going to wear this foamy Pokeball outfit. And I'll be a Pokeman. Like it's always either a sexy Pokemon. Or go whole hog, balls to the wall, sewing stuff, making it.

Which, it's fun. Guys just try to qualify as has a costume. Right? It's typically what I see with most. Oh, you have to wear a costume to this. Oh, shit. I need it to be good enough that people will all agree that this is a costume. It is, in fact is a costume. It is in fact a costume.

Kyle? So Kitty and I had this house a while back, a few years ago, where there wasn't a lot of privacy. My bedroom was in a loft and it was just exposed to the rest of the house. So I couldn't really have sex if Kitty was at home. So that meant that sometimes if I had a lady, I'd have to go to a hotel. So I had been going to this. Yeah, I did. And now we're here.

So for a long time, I was going to the Holiday Inn every time that I had a girl. And so the guy, and I'd always see the same night guy, you know, and be like, yeah, let me get a king room, etc. And after a while, there was one night, it halloween night and i was meeting a girl there and uh and i he said hey man i don't mean prior anything but are you married is that's what's going on here and i'm i'm like no no no i'm not married um no he's like are they prostitutes and i'm like no absolutely no, absolutely not. I'm not paying for sex. No, I wouldn't. No. And I got a little offended by it and everything.

I was like, no, I just, you know, it's. I just paid for the room. I explained my situation. I was like, no, I have a friend back at my house. It's not appropriate because it's an open air sort of living environment right now. And so right at that moment when I was all indignant and like no this is how it is my date walks in in her halloween costume she didn't go with slutty nurse she went slutty slut she's dressed as a whore i'm here as a whore she's wearing like like fishnet

stockings and hooker heels and a short short short skirt that's barely covering everything and like this tube top thing and big hoop earrings and hooker makeup and this whole thing like apparently her and all of her girlfriends had dressed up as whores for the night and they had a pips and hoes party or something like that you know we're like the guys dressed as pimps or something and i would i just looked at the guy i was like i can't explain my way out of this he He's not going to believe a word of it. So let's just, all right,

come on. Let's let me just take my whore to my room now. And let's just give up. That was, that was, that was great. I never went back to that one. I started going to the La Quinta afterwards.

So I wouldn't have to deal with the awkwardness. Yes. All the end has gross soap. It makes my face smell bad. That's a great story. I like that story. Thank you. We should end right bad. That's a great story. I like that story. Thank you. We should end right there. That's the spot.

It's 3.07 though. That's a whole hour short. Oh, I thought it was 4.07. It's because we started an hour late. Ah. Is why. Okay, okay. Keep going for a while. We can do it.

Of course. We can think of shit to talk about i wanted to talk about how much i hate screech and certain characters in tv shows and nobody wanted to talk about that was screech the one you hate he was one on the list i didn't watch enough saved by the bell to hate screech um joffrey was one of the top ones on the list i stopped hating him after he died and just started admiring how much i hated him ramsey on there again i liked ramsey more than joffrey just because joffrey was more like smarmy and then occasionally would dip into like

psychopathy where it was like you know i'm gonna be a smarmy douche for six episodes and then occasionally would dip into psychopathy where it was like, yeah, I'm going to be a smarmy douche for six episodes and then I'm going to bludge in a hooker with this antler peg or whatever the fuck it was. But Ramsey the whole time is... Joffrey was entitled and unlikable. He never earned anything. Ramsey, at least, he was an achieving psychopath.

Yes, that's why I liked Ramsey more. I guess more the reason I liked Ramsey more is because every time he was on screen, you were guaranteed that he was going to do or say something that was reprehensible. Like, it wasn't like he'd say something like, that was like, hey, that's iffy. Like, hey, come on, watch it, man. It would be like, I'll cut your fingers off, you know, and feed them to your dog, and then feed your dog to you, or like whatever the fuck he would say.

And it's like, god damn, this guy's fucked up. Whereas with Joffrey, it was a dice roll. Is he going to be really interesting and fucked up? Or is he just going to be kind of an asshole? So that's why I thought Ramsey was a more entertaining character. So there you go with that. There you go with that.

Who's your least favorite TV show character, Kyle? All time. Oh, that's pretty difficult. Not all time, then just name one like i said earlier the difficult okay any character just pick one let's go uh um i don't know the really nerdy one

like i said earlier is uh lieutenant barkley from star trek he was always he like they made episodes around him like four different times throughout the show's run and each one of them is just terrible he's this like bumbling never self-assured kind of like beta male who just until the time he gets super genius yeah and and that's just a terrible plot that's just terrible they did that they keep repeating that thing where like one of the humans somehow evolves to be an energy source or a super genius or something and they just keep beating that plot line to death. They've done it five times in Star Trek. Andrea in Walking Dead comes to mind as a

character I really disliked. And the thing about her is it's so thorough, right? It's not like I dislike the actress or I dislike the character or this poor person suffered from bad writing because they gave up. No. All of it. All of it like like there's

nothing redeemable about her character at all go on i'm gonna have to google her name but it's it's this it's the fat lesbian from the newest season of trailer park boys um let me just google fat lesbian trailer park boys i think it's like large marge or something it's something ridiculous large marge yeah um candy i think her name was candy maybe barb and a lesbian trio um uh whatever whatever her name was she was awful she was so terrible she was like bullying all of the the main characters and she always had like a baseball bat in tow she'd like push them with the baseball bat and like be on their face and make like these random like sexual like remarks like oh i'll like threatening to do a sexual thing to the man even because she's this big burly like dyke of a

lesbian and oh i'm sorry trailer park boys i don't know what to do with that show right there's no growth in that show which is kind of the point right if they started growing and becoming celebrities and achieving some sort of success then they wouldn't be trailer park boys anymore so they tease it they're like men yeah or just men right but um but uh better but but like they do it they make all this money in like pot and then they find themselves back in the trailer park the guy hits it rich is like a rap star find himself back at the trailer park and like it's never seemed to get out of it and something about it's making

it redundant for me yeah um it definitely is redundant um you gotta you gotta embrace that because that is the show it's a it's a repeating process every single season. You begin, they're in jail. They get out. They have their scheme. They coordinate. They have a third party who gets in the way, whether it's Cyrus or the cops or whoever. And then in the end, their master plan usually works,

but they get caught or someone rats them out or the money gets stolen in the end and they're back in prison at the end and we start a new season that happens over and over and over and i'm okay with that prison do they am i crazy man i can't remember i think they almost always end in prison they always end in prison for at least one of the main guys like usually it's all of them like like several seasons everybody gets locked up like ricky j Jules, Bubbles, and like Mr. Lahey and Randy will all be in the fucking van. Mr. Lahey is one of my favorite characters in any TV show because he's just – he plays a drunk guy so good that I'm not convinced he's not drunk that entire show. I'm not – he plays it so well.

He's not. Like the whole stumbling drunk guy. I saw a YouTube video about mr lahey and his hobby is cement and he lives on this um like uh i don't know if it's a bayfront home or something and he's building a wall and a walkway and he just mix up just like i don't know three cubic feet of cement at a time and he'll grab some rocks around the property and like extend the sidewalk by a little bit make a little like pier and he just enjoys making cement that's his thing yeah and in the video interesting hop yeah if i recall correctly he did the the drunk thing like as a

as a gag just for a second and he went like right into it and you're like oh he does it so perfect unsurprisingly but yeah he uh he's into cement it you're like oh he does it so perfect unsurprisingly but yeah he uh he's into cement it's pretty he's pretty interesting guy i like him yeah what do we got there kyle that was mr lady okay i like how uh he has like the ongoing crush on julian oh where he's obviously gay. They're so sexy, Julian. Sexy, sexy. Julian's like, oh, Bob, not into that.

What's funny is the smartest character in their troop is the one who is portrayed as stereotypically the dumbest, Bubbles. He's retarded, right? Isn't he retarded? He's meant to be some kind of challenge. I't know but the point is it's like he like talks funny with his whole uh well jesus julian i don't think we should be going

in there trying to steal it or like whatever it was and but he's the one with like the sound advice a lot of the time where they'll be like all right boys we're just gonna go in and take all the pot huh and it's just like like Ricky, you go up front, and then he has his glasses jingling and everything, and he's just, well, guys, I don't know if this is a very good idea. I got caught taking carts here last summer. We haven't thought this one through. It can be hit or miss sometimes.

There are bad seasons. The new seasons that Netflix are making are pretty interesting. I liked the last season up until like halfway through when they put Snoop Dogg and Tom Arnold in, you know, and they're kind of rubbing elbows with the boys. The first half of it was really good. I just wish Snoop Dogg and Tom Arnold weren't there. Oh, and who's that pot-smoking comedian who did Super High Me?

Benson. Doug Benson. he's in there too so um and it's so that that that makes for an interesting show um the premise with the celebrities coming in is that ricky and jules have opened a trailer park bar and casino and so like um they they make this commercial bubbles does where they're all like smoking pot and getting drunk in the casino and He's like, yeah, it's all inclusive. Everything's inclusive. Pots inclusive, alcohol's inclusive. He doesn't know what the word inclusive means. They're like, Ricky, don't you know what inclusive means?

It means all this shit is free, bro. All the weed is free. He's like, I'm not selling my weed for free. They have this whole meltdown. I liked it. It really made me laugh, especially the first half of the season. Second half is so-so. But I'll always have a soft spot for the trailer park boys. There's just something about that that's so dumb it's smart.

It takes you a bit to get into, because when I first, my buddy Tim was like, you have to watch this show years ago. And I was like, I tried watching an episode of my own and I was like, I watched most of it, like three quarters of it. And it's just the aura of sadness and just complete, like just so poor and abjectly poor. Like you have no money for anything. All the characters are like drinking drinks out of cut off two liters and like holding it like this and drinking it like it's okay and it was honestly so like like one of those sir mclaughlin dog commercials that i was like oh my god this is just sad like i don't want to watch these poor people suffer everybody should

have kyle as their trailer park boys tour guide because like yeah i i the first time i ever watched it was at kyle's house and um he's like all right you know you see like ricky gets out of drink out of jail and they put a drink in his hand he's like for the next seven years you'll pretty much never see him without a drink in his hand and and like things would happen like a car would get damaged or um shot who's the blonde who's the blonde ricky and i guess jules had the drink in his hand and bubbles so julian so ricky would get like a tear in his pants two years later his pants are still torn in that spot and like kyle just like there's a certain brilliance and attention into detail in the show that you might not pick up if

you don't have a tour guide, which is what helped me like it. They're good with continuity. Like, they keep that stuff going, and they really drill those jokes into the ground. And it gets to be, like, so stupid that they're still doing it that then it's like, oh, this is funny again. You know, they're still doing it. I always like that Ricky, you know,

his vocabulary is just terrible. Like, they come back to the trailer trailer park and it's just a complete wreck because Mr. Leahy has been mismanaging things. And he's like, oh, geez, it's like a tropical earthquake came through here, boys. Like, he's just a moron. He thinks jalapeno is pronounced jalapeno. He's like, yeah, give me some of those jalapeno chips. And they're like, oh, it's jalapeno, Ricky. And he's like, whatever, whatever. i've only got my grade 10 you know

grade six isn't it is it great no i think he's like he's no the whole thing is he's trying to get his grade 10 he had the letterman jacket i think it might have had a 10 on it like it was yeah it's so lame poor guy yeah i like that um like that little things like Julian's car has a booze dispenser that's ran through the windshield wiper fluid reservoir. So he's just got rum in the car all the time. It's an interesting show, and it really does accurately represent a large slice of people. Of Canada, yeah.

Not just Canada. No, Canada in particular. That's what they're like. Yeah, all Canadians. All Canadians are like that. I like to imagine. They play hockey in the trailer park. They're all just drinking the cards.

They do play hockey in the trailer park. Stealing carts, you know? Yeah. I remember Bubbles has all this homemade goalie gear. It's like milk cartons and stuff. That's what's even sadder. It's like that's the one sport they really like and even they can't afford you know the equipment they're just using like old boxes and it's like

trash hockey pipe yeah yeah it's like trash hockey or something that's an interesting show you talked to a couple months ago about your car and the v8 have you made any changes there give any thought are you still driving the same thing oh i'm still driving the same thing my plan now is i'm just gonna drive it into the ground and then just once if anything comes up where it costs me more than like four grand to fix it i'm just gonna buy a new car but until then i'm just financial decision like i remember my friend pka dan actually he had a really nice ford f-150 right he brought a brand new ford f-150 four-wheel drive it was a beautiful car their truck that most people would be love to own

and he's like i sold it because the gas was too expensive and it's like man like to take a loss on turning over a car is rarely the financial move you need to make that's someone who understands a sunk cost where he thinks you know can't get that money back but i can save this money now so i'll do that like that like my next car i really want like either a toyota or honda or some kind of really reliable suv like not like a giant one just a reasonably sized one like the uh i think pathfinders is one of them um if i'm thinking of the right one toyota pathfinder i think um nissan nissan yes that's what it is nissan i don't know what the toyota one's name is but i like the forerunner they have two forerunner yeah i think that's the bigger one

right it is yeah so my wife has okay she loves hers dude she so my wife has a V8 and it has all-wheel drive. And that combo gives you acceleration without slippage. She drove us around today and she floors it... I don't know. It seems like every five minutes. We're just cranking it up

to the red line. Jesus! It's usually like there's someone behind where are you going okay a recommendation we were crossing like we had to make a left for u-turn but it was like three lane wide highway so she just like goes she i have a suggestion go on i hope you're into this the you hope and jack Jackie all need to go to some sort of a driving class. Okay? Where you're all sitting there learning together.

That way, well, you know, that way you can reinforce the concepts that you learn in this driving class upon each other. So next time you're with Jackie and she does a thing out of order, you can be like, oh, remember in the course they said it was safer if you checked like this and then did that thing and kept your hands here. Because quite frankly, I would not want to be a passenger for... I would be your passenger. I've never seen you drive in any way erratically or dangerously. However, I wouldn't want you to be my driver getting us out of the zombie land or something like that.

I just don't think you're a very good navigator. Okay. Now, navigator, I will concede. You're moving forward and you won't hit anything. We just don't know where the fuck we're going. And I'm fairly good at climbing things. If, for example, we have to make a U-turn but there's a ditch or something, I understand my truck's capabilities. You know, like where is where what's good and what's not good.

I've tested it. I know the truck. Yeah. Those ladies over there terrify me, though. Yeah. Careful with hope. Because when I told that story, like they just went wild on her on Reddit. They were tweeting her and they hit her Instagram and like they just attacked her from every angle.

Like people are such cocksuckers. That's shitty. Yeah. But Jackie and I. I'm the same way, though. I'm like the actual act of driving, pretty easy to stay safe for the most part. But navigating, I am horrible at navigating.

I get lost so easily, and I get frustrated so quickly with it. Usually, I'm pretty good at holding back on frustration with most shit with getting lost it's something visceral like i get immediately like upset and stressed out the second i like take a wrong turn anywhere like it's like if somebody else is driving and they take a wrong turn i'm always like dude it's fine no big deal we'll find a spot if i'm driving and they say that to me it's like shut up just shut up you know we have to find how to get back i get lost all the time so i'm very comfortable with it right if i make a wrong turn it's like oh we're gonna learn a new spot or a

new way like this doesn't get lost in downtown st louis it's very stressful put it in four-wheel drive run on the fuck i'm just kidding no i have never been like oh now i am in illinois that's not great. East St. Louis. Can you need to turn around here? Oh, that's a burned out building. We're still burning. One of the things I have trouble with, I feel like I don't pay attention like I should in a way.

Like I'm monitoring it, but I'm not memorizing it. So like I might get to a place and you could incorrectly assume that now I know how to get there. But no, no, I was just sort of keeping on top of things while the GPS told me where to make turns and making sure I didn't hit anyone or do anything dangerous. But I didn't memorize the way, you know, so I need my GPS the next time too.

Yeah, I can understand that. Usually after I make a drive five, six times, though, I got it. That's what it takes me, five to eight times. More like five or six times. Five or six times, and I feel like I know how to get there. Really? What did I get wrong? Oh, nothing.

I was just taking my sunglasses off like on CSI. I thought you had a counterexample. Like, oh, no, you did this wrong. Yeah. sunglasses like on CSI. I thought you had a counter example like oh no you did this wrong. So I can go to sleep right now you guys wouldn't fucking know. I got my eyes closed. You don't know. Reflective. You know what I learned? Pilots cannot have polarized lenses. It turns out that they can't. Go on. Can I ask? All right so is the reason that pilots can't have polarized lenses because of a something about the windscreen uh not being able to see out of it or is it the or is it the monitors it's really the instruments it's really all about the instruments if you've

worn polarized lenses since you look at your cell phone and it's like pitch black uh if you turn your if you turn your head sideways because of the way it's lining up. Yeah, so that's why apparently the windshield sometimes can do it too but I think the instrument is the core of it. And with a paramotor, obviously that wouldn't apply. So I was like, oh, we could

do it. Let me guess at what polar, so I don't have any data in front of me. Polarized lenses. That means that the wavelength is all going like in one direction right and you don't get as much distortion and stuff it rejects wavelengths from outside of the approved way is the best way i can say so it seems to me like you know that as long as you're looking i know that if i look if i turn them sideways it's bright it doesn't work now this monitor doesn't work you know if you turn them sideways um actually i't work. Now this monitor doesn't work if you turn them sideways.

Actually, I don't know if these are polarized. You'll want to check on at diff.com. I'm sure they have polarized and non-polarized. I would guess, but I'm not sure. Hey, it's not all that's correct. But yeah, I was going to get polarized lenses so I could fly, but then my friend was like, yeah, but then you look at your phone. Because there's cool phone apps for flying, and it doesn't work. So you really want non-polarized lenses, even for simple things like a paramotor.

I have polarizing lenses on my sunglasses. It just has racial epithets written out on it. Nice. It's so stupid. We're in the fourth hour though Anything's gold now That's the kind of thing I would think about in hour one And be like what are you retarded

I've had this question since before we started If life had an achievement system Apart from the usual milestones Of get married have kids What would be some interesting side achievements To unlock Oh the usual milestones of get married have kids what would be some interesting side achievements to unlock oh like illegal things well i don't know in my head i was like visit all five continents oh are there seven continents yeah i think there's seven yeah you can visit yeah there are only five.

Let's leave Africa and Antarctica off the fucking list. Am I right, boys? Come on. You don't want to freeze or get eaten alive, so let's just do that. It's like in Sunny where they're like, I don't want to go here. I don't know what goes on over here.

Definitely out. You're marking everything out. You're just going to cruise on over here. Definitely out. You're marking everything on that. So you're just going to cruise around Philly. Pretty much. Yeah, that's it. Anyway, nobody got that. What is this achievement system? Maybe traveling a certain distance.

That'd be interesting. And I don't know what that distance would be over a lifetime. Just throw numbers out there. Maybe an average person is traveling traveling on foot you know maybe maybe 25 let's see is notches on your bedpost a good one or a bad one or i don't know is that how many girls you had sex with trying to think of something but oh how about distance fuck yeah so the distance that you've fucked it'll say like you know you've fucked. It'll say, like, you know, you've fucked, you know, 60,000 feet. You know, and it's like, oh, wow.

Hopefully they'd say miles or something. That'd be better. Like, oh, you've fucked six miles, you know, through that in and out. And it's like, oh, wow, that's a lot of fucking metric. But I'm trying here. I like it. Distance. Let's see.

On Reddit, they did the math once. I don't know what the original thing they were doing the math on. Some guy was like, my girlfriend's had 10 miles of cock. And the guy was like, well, the average cock is 6.2 inches multiplied by 87 average thrust per sex act multiplied by 3 to 5 sex acts per week. And he does this whole thing where you're like, your girlfriend has had has that and for that to happen she would have to have sex all day and all night for like five whatever i saw a similar one it was like if everyone on xbox live had

actually had sex with your mom and then they just worked out all the men like how many cocks how many miles of cocks you know inside your mom it was pretty. There's a good one. They could be like, you know, in games like Skyrim, you'll get an achievement for like, oh, you stumbled upon the, you know, fountain of ecstasy and you'll get something there, like a discoverer point.

What if you have stuff like tallest person seen, fattest person seen, where you could compare, like have a log, and you'll be like, what's the fattest person you've ever seen? And they'll go, well, let me pull it up. 640 pounds.

My Pokedex out here. You can't watch my 600-pound life. It doesn't count. It has to be in person. In person. And then you'd be like, oh, yeah, really? Well, I happened to be in Saudi Arabia once, and I saw their prince with the weight problem, and he weighs 800 pounds.

I show them that. It's like, oh, wow, that's dope. Yeah, it sounds exciting now that I'm walking it out, but... Keep going. I think he's got legs. Yeah, he's got legs. So basically, you just compare pictures of people who are very tall or very short or very fat or very thin. Dark and light, right? Albinos all the way to... Why does it have to be racist? That implies that one's better than the other.

I was just saying one's darker and lighter than the other. Most... You've got to get some element. Most people you've made laugh, how many people you've made laugh over your life um how many people you've made cry over your life um man these are all how many people you've outlived that you know is what how many people you've outlived that you know? Is what? How many people you've outlived that you know? Right?

Like last man standing? Last person seen who is now dead. Pounds of peanuts eaten. That's actually pretty good. I bet it would be way higher than I think. Yeah, because I don't know about you, but I have finished off one of those jars before. Like the big family-sized jar.

I can eat that whole thing. And that's not even counting the honey-roasted ones. Those things are like candy. They are honey-roasted. Luckily, Kitty's allergic to peanuts, so I don't get to fucking eat peanuts anymore. Is she allergic to other things like cashews and nougats? No.

How does that spread? Part of one of her immune disorders is these crazy allergies. It's something with her immune system automatically going after all kinds of shit. There aren't any other nut allergies that I know about. It's peanuts. I don't think I want to start naming her allergies

because they're literally her kryptonite. Somebody could mail her. Let's just call it, let's say she's allergic to eucalyptus. I don't need somebody mailing Kitty some eucalyptus and killing her or anything. But she's allergic to a bunch of shit. She's got an EpiPen, all that stuff. She's had bad reactions.

I bet she's mad at the EpiPrices. She made her own homemade one. It's really cool. That's not true. She's definitely... That would be a very dangerous thing to make. I think that's about the right amount of epinephrine, right? It's got a big rubber band you stretch out and release

to deliver the medication. Oh, it hurts so much! I didn't go in far enough. Fuck, I'm just going to do it again. I've seen where she got peanut dust on her fingers and it burnt a layer of skin off, like a severe sunburn. So, you know, it's pretty severe. Do you keep cashews around? Because cashews are even better than peanuts, I think.

Cashews are too fattening, I think. I think they're really bad for you. So I don't eat cashews. I do eat almonds sometimes. But look, here's the thing. I do everything in excess. So I'll buy this can of almonds that's about as about the size of a hockey puck but maybe twice as thick and i always get these like honeyed almonds or honey roasted almonds and i'll eat the whole little thing and then i'll look on the back and it's 780 calories taylor would you say you do everything in excess to uh not enough of the good things like working out at this point like when i was there was a time where i was very into working out and then i did i tend to do i get

tend to go like whole hog into stuff more than pulling back like when i get into magic that's always my example because it's the most like the one that i notice like when i get into magic i begin just spending so much money and having all these grand plans like i'm gonna go to this tournament i'm gonna go to that tournament it's gonna be so much fun i'm gonna do this i'm gonna do that i'm gonna be able to play with melissa at night i'm gonna make my strategy are you hoping to win these tournaments do i win are you hoping to like is that the plan or is it just to like go traveling no like these are like friday night magic things where like there's like a local a ton of local game stops that have friday night magic and so you'll go and play i haven't done one in like probably over a year but it's a lot of fun and like anybody can when you return are they like

holy shit mercadirk is no no definitely not like the king has returned yeah no no they're like who's that guy uh but it's fun i really enjoy it and that's something that i always i get way too into it and then weirdly like one morning i wake up and i'm like i don't really want to play magic and usually that's spurred by the fact that my obsession in it has dried everybody around me who was even a little interested in it out to where I'm like Melissa you want to play magic not just you want to play tonight and then we'll take a week break and we'll play again or whatever

it's you want to play right now and then keep playing and then we keep playing it all night and play a lot of magic and I hopefully win because I'm competitive with it and so it's not fun for her because I'm sitting there I've spent like $600 on a deck and it's like perfectly crafted and she's over there not spending as much money and playing a worse deck because it's pay to win basically it's magic it's just a different form

of shuffle all the decks together though right like like shouldn't you that's what you should do you should do some sort of like shuffle them all up and she gets half and you get half and then you both make a deck and then you play that. You can do, like, drafting like that. So what we'll do sometimes, we haven't done this in a while either, is where you get, like, buy packs, like the 15-card packs or 11-card whatever's in there, and then you open one up, and everybody, like, there's six of you around. You all open one.

You look at your pack. You pick a card out, put it face down, then you pass it to the person on your right. And so you basically have to make a deck in real time as you're drafting and that's a lot of fun i enjoy that probably more than constructed playmat or play formats where you build the deck but it's just something that i can't get enough people around me to get into to warrant the amount that i get into it about every 18 months i am i'm due to get into it again so be careful that's how i am with sif right now i was talking to filthy maybe like during the show he he messaged me a little while ago.

I think we're going to play Saturday. I'm going to play with them again, I guess on his live stream. If you want to see his video of me, I played with him the other day. I think he just uploaded it. Did you get second? Yeah, I would say so. You know, there's not some sort of thing where like – I think I was second in score.

I was second in everything virtually. I was way ahead i had he had eight cities i had six cities and then it was dropped down to like a guy had four cities and a guy had three cities and so on and so on so um i did very well for myself i thought i did really well especially compared to him because he has like eight times as much experience in civ six already as i do um i've completed maybe three games. But I think I'm getting good fast. I'm much faster than I did at Civ 5, obviously.

And I like it. I like it more and more every time I play it. The newest NQ mod just came out for it, or patch, if you want to call it that. So it fixed a few little bugs in the game. So there's already a modded version of Civ 6, and there's already a modded Civ 6 special multiplayer map to play on a week after the thing's released.

So it's got such a crazy, vibrant, little underground modding community that that keeps me passionate in the game and looking for the next iteration of it every which is 200 normal speed makes the games actually easy to do in an online like six player eight player multiplayer thing we played i mean it was a long game we played online speed work it's um well we don't have i don't have the code of the game so i don't know if it's making everything 200% cheaper or giving you 200% more of your resources, but the end effect is the game is 200% faster because either A, a library is 200%

less than it used to be, or B, you're producing 200% more hammers than normal, but the effect is the same in the end. I just don't know how they come about. You just build your city up faster and you build all your units faster. Un build everything faster okay units build faster um go things like gold and faith um um values are changed so if before for example on standard speed you get 100 gold every time you convert a city to your religion on quick

speed you only get 66 because it's too because it's uh that much faster 66 you know you're getting 66 or 67 and everything about the game kind of takes fewer turns. Yes, except for a few things. And that's what the mod kind of takes care of to some extent. Chopping wood right now in that game is incredibly overpowered because you can do it... You build a builder and you send him... It doesn't matter how close he is to your city.

He just goes out and he chops a forest while your city is working on another builder. It builds another builder instantly. So you take that builder, send him out. They're not called workers anymore? They're called builders. It's a whole new system. They get three charges each unless you have a special policy so they can do three things each.

And then they, boop, they're gone. But with this system, you can get this crazy amount of them by just build one chop now you got two now the two of them are chopping now you got three and you and then you start selling them like every other round so you're getting gold too because the gold selling in the game is bad there's tons and tons of unbalanced things that really don't ruin a multiplayer experience a single player experience but absolutely just ruin the multiplayer experience

because they're just broken. Isn't that forest thing already patched? You told me it was when we were playing the other night. What I told you was that our rule, like our rule that everybody's playing by right now, is you don't chop the forest that's outside of your border. And so that limits it and makes it fair. Because you get the same values regardless of they're inside your border or of your border and so that limits it and makes it fair um because you get the

same values regardless of their inside your border outside your border and civ 5 you got like whatever 13 production if you chopped a forest in your borders and then it was down to like eight and then six and then four as you got farther and farther away and at some point it's just like seems silly to go knock out four hammers into When my city's making you know 180 hammers a turn anyway, it's just pointless, but in this game. It's broken So it's gold so is selling units for gold so it's a lot of things, but they're balancing all that for multiplayer ends Sumeria and Scythia are completely out of control unbalanced to the point where they, you know, I wouldn't play against them in a multiplayer environment.

It's not fair. Don't make me talk about paramotors. I'll do it. Blues lose in a 10-round shootout tonight. That's fun. Nice. So now they've lost four out of their last five games right no two out of their last four are you sure two no you might be right they started out three and

oh and now they're four two and two and so in their last yeah in their last five they've lost four two of them in ot that they could have won if they just fucking finished. I told you they would suck this year. I told you they would blow. And they've done both. They've lost four in their last five. They're still not blowing. I don't think they're going to be as good as they were last year.

If my team had lost four in their last five. Yeah, they're doing fine. Yeah, they're second. They're four and two. In a weak division, yeah. In the best division in the NHL. According to Taylor, you've got to believe Taylor. The Stars and the Blackhawks are even.

Avalanche is three wins and two losses. Jets, Jets? I didn't even know that was a hockey team. That's where the Thrashers went. Didn't know that. Poor guys. And then they't even know that was a hockey team. That's where the Thrashers went. Didn't know that. Poor guys. And then they're 3-4 with a losing record. So it seems like it's a tough division,

and everybody's just a similar skill level. But then I don't know fucking all about hockey, do I? It's been the toughest for years now. No, it is the weakest division. No, it is the Thunderdome division. There were a couple years where you could take an ahl team and throw it in the metropolitan maybe it was like three years ago when buffalo was not even like well they were trying to tank but it was like a battle in the same division between

buffalo and toronto for who could be worse because they were both trying to get that top pick and then i think like edmonton ended up getting anyway. But they both just tanked so hard. And so those teams in that division were like, oh, fuck, we're playing the Sabres again. All right, two points. They're like, that's great. These guys don't want to win, or at least the coach and the owners. That's how people feel about the Blues this year.

No, the Blues have been in an awkward spot their entire existence because it's been maybe five years out of their 50 years that they've truly been terrible like so fucking bad that they were like near the bottom of the division they could have got a good draft pick other than that they made the playoffs like 25 straight years and then lose in the first or second round which basically means all right we're good enough to uh not win and also not get a good draft pick. So we're just going to middle for about a quarter century and never, ever get success. Every now and then you'll win a President's Cup.

Every now and then. Yeah, the Blues, the Capitals, they've got plenty of President's Cups, President's Trophies, but nothing. President's Trophy is just what you get if you have the most points at the end of the regular season, but it doesn't mean anything as far as winning the stanley cup the capitals had like a record-breaking damn stupid fucking trophy what a stupid fucking best regular season record yeah it's like when they yeah it's like the winner of does any other sport do something like that yeah like the nba there are individual things like in

baseball you go gloves and shit like that, but not for the team. Yeah. No, the only like team trophies in hockey, I think are the Stanley cup for winning it. And then the president's trophy for ending the regular season with the most points, which is a useless trophy.

Nobody, nobody cares when you make the, Oh yeah. You get a trophy for the conference. You do. And players sometimes refuse to touch it. Oh, you're right. You're, you're right. Yeah. Cause you don't want to touch it before you the conference title. You do, and players sometimes refuse to touch it. Oh, you're right.

You're right, yeah, because you don't want to touch it before you win the cup. Yeah. But Blues will win it eventually, probably when I'm old. No. Four out of the last five they've lost. All right, left to right, is Chicago going to win a series? Is that what's about to happen here? Win a series of, like, in the playoffs?

A World Series. Baseball. Oh, the Cubs? I know nothing about baseball. I'm not even sure who Chicago's playing, but I think Chicago will beat them. Well, history is not on your side. Let me say, in my entire life,

not one thing that I have wanted to happen in sports has happened. So I know without the shadow of a doubt that Chicago will win the World Series because I do not want them to win. I want them to continue to lose because they can't have all the success this quickly. It's not fair. New England already got it where they won won every league in the last 11 years, a couple of them multiple times. But yeah, I guarantee the Cubs will win because I really don't want them to,

and it never goes my way. I'm thinking about becoming a huge Blackhawks fan to get the Blues a cup, just to really pour myself into it. Now, Kyle, have they played a game yet? Yeah, they played two. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's tied 1-1. Who are they playing?

Cleveland. Cleveland Indians. Ooh, I guess I want to see Chicago win. It's been a long time for both of them, but I want to see Chicago lose just because it's so much worse to be a good team that loses than it is to, like, if the Blues were terrible, it'd be like, whatever. Who cares?

I don't expect them to win. But because they're just good enough all the time that they have a chance, it's horrible. Because you're like, goddammit, there really is a shot that they could do this that they never do. But, yeah, Chicago's going to win it, for sure. Probably in, I think, in six games. I think Cleveland wins one more, and then Chicago wins out.

Well, I like long droughts in sports. So if they can continue this hundred-and-something-year thing without winning one, I like that. Because fuck them. I like to see people very sad you know people people like have things crush in front of them like you know whether whether i'm burning your civilization or i'm watching you get caught on to catch a predator there's something about being in that moment where like everything goes away and changes in your life that uh that's real fun to do and so when i when i see those chicago fans that take it so so

seriously in the stands when i see um what's his name the fucking bill um murray when i see bill murray up there like yeah yeah yeah guys yeah like like it means so much to him that i don't want him to get it i just want to be like no and then just wow that's it i just want to believe and i want to be heartbreaking i want to be heartbreaking i don't want it to be like, no. And that's it. And I want it to be heartbreaking. I want it to be heartbreaking. I don't want it to be like, oh, yeah, the Indians took them in four. No. I want it to come down to game seven, and I want somebody to botch it.

I want it to be like, oh, we had it, and he dropped the ball, and the run just rolls in, and that's the game, and the crowd just cries. You just hear moans and tears. Wailing like Job in his burned house. Whoa! Rubbing ashes on your face. Yeah, and it's all just because... I'm sure there's a lot of Cubs fans.

There's a ton of Cubs fans who want it and they've been devout fans for years. But this is all about my spitefulness. I know, mine too. Yeah, that's all I'm in it for. I don't know any Chicago fans. I don't care for Chicago teams. Why would I? I'm hundreds of miles away.

I like to see people lose when it means a lot. And if the Indians lose, they'll be like, dang, bummer, man. But Chicago will be so happy that'll overshadow it. But if Chicago loses, it'll all be about why they lost, how they lost last time. Isn't there a goat involved with their curse i

don't know if that's them or not yeah you know yeah so so yeah i'm i'm down for that i'm down for continuing the tradition as i'll call it of chicago not winning a world series that'll be fun because it is a very fun so for those of you who are out of the country i think and i'm probably wrong so a baseball fan can correct me i think the curse of the Cubs is someone showed up to a Cubs game in 1909 or something. Did they trade Babe Ruth or something? Is that the curse? That's someone else, I think. Maybe that's Boston's curse.

Yeah, that's the Red Sox curse of the Babe. The goat one is a guy who wanted to bring his goat into the Cubs game, which is completely unrealistic. That's ridiculous. Leave your goat outside, you asshole. But then they were like, no, you can't bring your goat inside. I know it's 1909. You will respect my religious rights.

This is my date. You think that's real? We came full circle. We came full circle. You see that? Came full circle. Started out with goat fucking and we're right back there.

Hey, during the seventh inning stretch, who doesn't want to slide into this fucking goat? Right here in the stands. I know I do. You love to eat the peanuts. Hey, it's a win-win for everyone. But he said, they said, no, you can't bring your goat in. And he said, I assume in like a creepy like gypsy voice,

like, oh, then you will never again win the pennant. Or maybe it was just the pennant they were saying, or maybe it was the World Series. I don't know. I don't know what it was called at the time. Are there gypsies out there? Do they exist anymore? Yes.

Are they listed more? Yes. Yeah, you had that gypsy who contacted you that one time. But I'm wondering, is there a vibrant gypo community? I think that's what they like to be called, gypos. Is that even something you call gypsies it's a blur against it yes absolutely oh is it yeah yeah yeah go ahead search so yeah i think that would i'm wondering if if they're like do they exist anymore is it like is sasha gabor somewhere out there is the queen of the gypsies is that still a thing or is that just that just a group of white trash people in

Europe? Is that what's going on? Gypo is a thing. Curiously, two Ps. Yeah. Just like Gestapo, that's how I remember. Because there's only one P in Gestapo. I don't know. These aren't words I write very

often. Really? I've been reading them since I grew up. In the manual, there's lots of stuff about the Gestapo. Yeah, not mine. Every night before bed. Alright! And pop his uniform

out and show it. What? You're not ready to wrap now, are you? Taylor, what flavors do you usually vape someone paid ten dollars to ask you this question do you see what flavors do you normally vape taylor i like uh citrus kinds they always uh every time you go to one of those stores they they make it difficult to tell people what flavor it is which is aggravating because I wish I could go in and go I want the orange you know beach

or whatever orange sunset where it's like okay it's clearly orange I want that but you go in there and it's like I'm reading this list of stuff it's like do I want Pooh Bear's Revenge what is that Pooh Bear's Revenge

it's kind of like a creamy chocolate no do I want Pooh Bear's Revenge? What is that? What is Pooh Bear's Revenge? And they're like, well, it's kind of like a creamy chocolate. No. No, Vin Tony. What about, you know, Midnight on the Strip? What is Midnight on the Strip? Well, it's kind of like a blackberry. No.

If you just put blackberry up there, I wouldn't have had to fucking ask you about it because I know I wouldn't want that. And so I always get kinds that are citrusy or fruity or like kind of menthol-y mixed in, like a cooling kind of taste to it. That's what I get. Like they have like real tobacco and like really sweet, like, oh, I'm going to get Skittles and stuff. That's not as good.

Are you literally just doing it for flavor or is there something else? Is it like an energy component to it? A high... Something other than taste. The flavor's good. I like that. It's also just kind of fun to do. Is it nicotine? There's nicotine in it. I get one of the lowest levels of nicotine.

It goes from maybe like 4 to 30. What does nicotine do for or to you? Is it an energy thing? It's an addictive substance. It depends how you intake it. It depends on how you puff it. It can be a stimulant or a depressant. Depending on the way you intake it.

You can smoke to fall asleep or smoke to stay up. If you're smoking getting a lot in there it's going to speed up your heart rate it's going to uh it's going to keep you awake but if you're taking these long slow drags it's going to relax you down you're going to you're going to go to sleep yeah that's why nicotine is so wonderful and it's not bad for you there's nothing wrong with nicotine nicotine

is the is the okay part it's it's no worse than caffeine it's the caffeine that just happens to instead of being a coffee bean it's in this awful piece of poison. But it's extremely addictive. So is caffeine. Nobody makes a big deal when everybody's talking about, oh, yeah, got to get my buzz every morning, every day for my entire life. I'll be doing this. That's because the man wants them to be more productive. But I actually think caffeine addiction is a lot easier to kick, right?

Like there's plenty of people who are like, oh, i don't take caffeine i yeah i get headaches if i don't have my caffeine so i've decided to back off and they're not like getting shakes you don't see people failing to quit caffeine there are other negative effects again and again and again nobody gets the shakes from quitting cigarettes though you just get irritable you get uh you don't have that app you don't have your appetite suppressant anymore you don't have your baba to your pacifier it's it's adult pacifier that's what it is it's like man that that's some bullshit that just went down in there fucking assholes every day i'm gonna smoke this take my five minutes i'm gonna go back up there and i'm gonna do my job like like it's like i'm a non-smoker, but that sounds really attractive.

Something that would make you feel good when you're pissed sounds great. It makes you feel good. You, having not used nicotine before for the most part, Woody, you would get a pretty good buzz from it from a very low amount. And the thing about it is it's not like alcohol where it's like, all right, I'm going to get buzzed. And then I guess for the next hours after that, I'm committed. That's what I'm doing.

I can't snap out of it. Once you're drunk, you're drunk. With nicotine, it's like, ooh, I feel pretty good. And it's going away. If you don't like it, you smoke too much, you just wait. When you say buzz, like you're drunk for a minute? Like I don't think I know buzz. You get a little tingly feeling.

And I get a tingly feeling in my brain when I am buzzed. It's pleasant and I like it. Is it euphoria? Yeah, it's just like a little. It's a pleasant feeling. It's not like cumming or anything.

That's how I'm told meth is. I think it's meth. You're not bouncing off the walls. um um meth is i think it's meth like you're not you're not like bouncing off the walls you're not like the thing i read was like you're driving to work it's 5 30 a.m there's rain pouring on your car and there's oh you're thinking of heroin there's beauty in every drop oh am i thinking of heroin um and i'm just like oh like not that i want to get into any of these things and kids don't but it's like you want to have a real good time i can see why like if it just makes

everything okay if it just like takes away the negative feelings that you're having the unhappiness the sadness the depression whatever and now you're just cool with it or at least able to get over it like i don't know and nicotine to me sounds like a very mild version of that just like oh those guys suck and you know yeah that's what it is like i don't want to say composure uh as much as um that's part of it yeah there's been plenty of times where like something rattled me and my my first response is like oh fucking all right it's it's a nerve calming it makes food better it's what's this you know what's it called when you you like start recognizing what's big and what's small like not composure but like uh you get a perspective

perspective i think is what i'm looking for like you regain a perspective oh am i all upset over something that is small that i won't be pissed about next week you know and then yeah you just need some or it can be it's like a temporary anti-anxiety that's exactly what it is it's an anti-anxiety medication that lasts as long as it's burning uh it's a you know that's exactly what it what it always felt like it was like i can remember being stressed driving somewhere to do a thing i didn't want to do and it's like all right get your shit together we've got to go in here do this thing you know what this is and just being like

glad I got some fucking cigarettes here this would be fucking a real meltdown I need this little edge you know and are there any I think maybe I don't think cigarettes were banned I remember there was some like innocuous like little vice that was banned from like

competition I'm trying to think what it was little vice that was banned from competition. I'm trying to think what it was. It wasn't cigarettes, but there was something else that wasn't that big. Adderall's a real fucking drug. That's amphetamine salts. It was something more like caffeine or nicotine or something.

I don't recall what it was. Never mind. The thing about cigarettes... I got no problem with nicotine. The side you're putting is attractive, but it's like cigarettes, on the other hand, the whole package... You're aging early, you're getting tar in your lungs, it's impacting your ability

to breathe. That's why you want that vape. And cancer. The problem with cigarettes is the delivery system. The delivery system of getting nicotine to you in a cigarette is like, yeah, you get the nicotine, but you also get a whole barrel of bad stuff. Isn't the patch the real way to go? Like, if you really just want to get your nicotine, wouldn't you slap that patch?

I have, and they were great. When I quit, it was patches and then vaporizing after that. Like, the patches helped me get over, like, the immediate, like, oh, no, there's no more nicotine in my system. And then the vaporizer really helped, like, supplement the coming off of it while fulfilling the, like, oral fixation that was already there. It's like, you know, normally when I, after I eat, I'd, you know, smoke a cigarette. Now I'd, you know, hit this vaporizer or whatever, you know.

You're just replacing the social aspect of the cigarette with something that's better for you. I know it's not 100% safe or whatever, healthy. It's not a health food when you're using a vaporizer, but it's just not a fucking cigarette. Yeah.

Hmm. Well, that's almost four hours. We can go 30... Well, let's wrap there. I'm horny. I want to go upstairs and do some things. Alright. Well, we have 30 seconds to explore this, Kyle.

Do we? Mm-hmm. 20 seconds, actually. Well, I mean, it's not like I'm going to go fuck a goat or anything. I'm just going to go have sex. Hmm. Oh, shit. i was hoping that should be that should be a lot of fun you you go fuck and you enjoy yourself i'm gonna tell you how much fun you're gonna have for well like four more seconds is that how much i have to talk three more seconds well we hope you guys enjoyed the show be sure to check out all of our sponsors. There is, of course, Smart Mouth, one of my favorite sponsors.

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