Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #308

Episode Date: November 17, 2016

This week on PKA, no guest and the election is over so it's a HEAVY political episode, strap in, trigger warnings for all. But the guys also talk about the upcoming weekend of UFC 205 & a potential PKA Colorado trip.

There it is, we're live. P.K.A. just started. That was a long one. I pressed the button like 20 seconds ago. Kyle, do you need to leave for something? Yeah, of course. We have a few sponsors tonight. Smart Mouth, of course, making its return. As well as Lyft, Zip Recruiter, and Jack Threads and MeUndies. So you can check them out down in the description below. I'm going to talk about each of them more later on.

But for now, let's just start the show. Yes, it's been a big news past couple of days Yeah, what happened? There was an election that thing that everybody was that this week. That was this week I I looked at the tweet and he said to turn out for him on the 18th And so I missed it. Yeah, like did you guys see that? I don't know if it was his tweet, but at one point someone in the Trump campaign Maybe even him probably fucking, said like, you know, go out and you need to turn out on November 14th and show America that you want me.

And it's like, that's not, you're going to have a lot of angry. Smart money's on Trump. Yeah. You're going to have furious people in a lot of post offices and churches on the 14th. You know what? I should take that back. I just thought about what I said. You know, this stuff that we thought was dumb all along, right?

Apparently, those are the acts of a champion. Like when he told everyone to check out that woman's sex tape, he might have been picking up votes for all I know. When he was like going back and forth with Rosie or whatever the fuck he's doing. Like, Hillary, you missed out on that shit. Scores posted do you. You mean when Hillary was doing the dab on the Ellen show, that wasn't winning her any votes? It appears that way. You tell me all that nonsense. I just, like, you know, regardless of what you thought was happening, what actually happened,

carry on. Go ahead. Line it up. Line it up. Let's talk about election night and our individual experiences that came of it. So we finished up PKN, right? That's what happened. And it was maybe nine, 10 o'clock East Coast time. I went to my bedroom. CNN was already on on TV and I started watching and he was leading in Virginia. As a note, though, previously, just as we had finished PKN, we were all in the same boat, I think, of no way. No way. And this was as the election was starting. There's a recording of us all being like, no fucking way. Bullshit.

Yeah, yeah. We should have redacted that. As soon as we saw it was going bad, we should have been like, let's re-record PKN and all go pro-Trump and just call it. And say something crazy like, you know what? I think – I bet he's going to win Michigan and Wisconsin. I bet he's going to say something. That wasn't even a conversation. Anyway, sorry.

So I get up there. I see he's winning. I see he's winning in Virginia. And I knew that that was not on his map. And he didn't end up winning it but the fact that he was ahead and it was like a hey what's going on here let's actually look deep and do a little math and as they go around the the place i noticed they're not talking about florida and they're not talking about ohio on on cnn it's like what gives that's what matters

and then i see they're red you know they're not like called but they're all red you know of course you got monty emmy day down there in orlando and they were so like called, but they're all red. You know, of course you got Miami-Dade down there and Orlando and everything. They were so talking about those states. They did nothing but talk about them all night long. Yeah, it was just here he is, here he is. They kept talking about no path and there was a lot of attention on the Rust Belt states that Trump was winning that no one expected him to win. I didn't think, I felt like the coverage I was watching on CNN like at 9 or 10 o'clock,

like they just weren't talking about Ohio much. They weren't like, oh, yeah, here's her – because he was ahead. They were talking more about the state. He was ahead by a lot in Ohio, I think, right? Yeah, he was ahead by a lot in Ohio, and Florida just wasn't looking good. I was like – I called Florida very early in the night for Trump. It was like, I don't see how this is going to change very much. And it just kept going and going, And I kept looking at my girlfriend.

And after a while, I went, he could do it. She's like, no, no, he can't. He can't. They said he can't. You know, everybody did. I was like, he can do it. He's just got to win that and hang on to these three here. And he's got it, I think, because we know what's coming on the West Coast, like California.

And we know what that's going to do. That's more predictable. Yeah, you already add 55 to Hillary's score. Yeah, yeah. I'm already giving her 55. We know what's coming on the West Coast, like California. And we know what that's going to do. That's more predictable. Yeah, you already add 55 to Hillary's score. Yeah, yeah. I'm already giving her 55. We know that. And it just kept going and going. And we were in the Skype chat.

And I just became more and more shocked and more and more giddy. And after a while, like cautious nervousness of like, man, at first it was like, oh, it won't be a blowout. Trump is not going to get blown out. This will not be an embarrassment now. That is wonderful. And then it became, this might be a squeaker. And then it became Trump prophesied what was going to happen. He's winning the Rust Belt. He's winning Pennsylvania. He's got the industrial 80s capital of America up there. he's going from the Great Lakes to the bottom tip of Texas right now, splitting the US in half. He's going to win.

I was like, I don't know very much about this electoral map stuff. I know generally how it works. I've been through a few elections, but I do know that normally it's all about Ohio and Florida, and he's already got them, and it's about what else he gets right now. And I was like, that's it. Trump's the president. Trump's the president. Trump's the president. You guys were all saying that in the middle of the night, especially Kyle.

Kyle was a source of hope for me that evening and Woody. I was saying more that because Kyle was so excited about it, you and Chiz were more just kind of stating the facts of like yeah it is looking like this will happen the whole time up until they were discussing michigan and like all and the cnn anchors were you know viscerally blown away like he is winning michigan by a good amount and then it was just that due to the smart board who kept zooming in on detroit and those counties and being like man you just you just gotta hope there are a lot of people who haven't turned out yet i mean a pile of folks here in Wayne County. That's what she's looking for because Wayne County encompasses Detroit. And they zoom in on Wayne County, and I'm expecting her to be killing it.

I want to say this because I feel like what they actually do is they have a bias towards there being a story. So he's winning Michigan. He's winning Wisconsin. He's winning Ohio. He's winning Florida. He's winning all – he's winning ohio he's winning florida he's winning all that like you could tell he was gonna win and if you read the transcript of us in skype i i'm gonna call him like dude this guy's one he's one he's got he's locked up wisconsin's over

you know this is over why aren't they calling it why aren't they calling it but um cnn even fox all of them were just like i don't know maybe, maybe. And when he's saying, look, there's only, what, 70% voted so far in Detroit, and that's a heavy Hillary area. She needs all this to close it. He's trying to make a story. I don't think he's trying to make Hillary win. I think he's trying to keep her watching. I think he's talking to himself a little bit too.

Yeah, that was the vibe I was getting, is that it was because you could see on the faces of everyone that they did not know this is gonna happen They thought they're gonna go out there and be like and once again racism and bigotry is defeated And have like one hand under the desk jerking themselves off. Oh, I'm so fucking tolerant I'm so fucking tolerant and then no it they were they ended up them just frantic I must have watched the dude click on Wayne County 60 times as he struggled to use that fucking format on the smart board. He was like, let's just zoom in.

Nope, that's opened up my web browsing history. Let's get out of there. I thought he was good with the board. So we were all watching CNN on the internet together. I felt up until Michigan that it was like a blues making the stanley cup thing where i was like nope you know what they do things that i like don't win things that i like make you think they're gonna win and they make the playoffs 25 years in a row and they always lose at one point in the night i wrote to taylor and said dude i'm a philly fan i'm a canes fan we've won some cups

you might not be familiar with what winning is like, but this is it. This is what winning feels like. Live it up. No, I didn't win on Tuesday. Taylor and Kyle did. You say happy wife, happy life. Woody's gamer tag is in hell. No.

You know what? I want to talk about that a little bit. So here's how my night went. Kyle laid out his. Like the polls started closing at 8 p.m right so they're like reporting some stuff and we found this the new york times did an excellent job with these like real times prediction meters and stuff and um it was showing trump early in the night having like a 52 chance winning a 56 chance and i'm giddy i'm I'm happy as can be because it's just entertaining to me to, like,

poke at the two girls in my house who really, really don't want Trump to win at all. So I'm just, like, not that I'm, like, outwardly starting fights or anything, but I'm totally amused that they're splitting it. I'm trolling a little bit. You're looking over there at them and throwing their, like, stressful moment. Exactly. Exactly. But the reason that i'm loving

it so much is not that i wanted trump to win or even that i'm okay with his win i really wish that he had lost the reason i'm like just enjoying the troll is that i'm still confident he's gonna win like oh isn't it adorable he's gonna win that like he went slightly to like 56 chance of winning before the bomb dropped and he got his ass kicked so that's what that's what's in my heart and as the night goes on the trolling stops like it's like don't fuck dude when did the trolling stop about what state flipped and trolling switch off it wasn't really a state so much as it was like the percentage oh maybe it was north carolina like when when hillary

lost one handily yeah yeah the dude it was just becoming clear there were a whole bunch of states that were sitting at red and um so i am pretty well schooled in the whole electoral math thing like i knew all the different routes to victory for each of them i knew what it meant and and um so like i have a full awareness of the severity of losing different states what mattered what didn't where they were expected and i could see fairly early in the night that it was time to stop teasing the girls because they might be very sad and and you guys might call some people are asking like how they are now they're i'm sure they're fine they don don't like it, but they're back to living their hopes, doing their homework. And Jackie was helping me with my stuff today.

And everything's fine. But I'll tell you, they do feel like both of them independently have told me they feel a little less safe. Because the president does set a national tone. I used to think that was crazy. And then when Bill Clinton was cheating on his wife and getting BJs in the office, and there's this question, like, are blowjobs really cheating, right?

Because he was like, that's the thing that he said. I don't know if you guys know that. But he was telling Monica that she could only blow him. He wouldn't fuck her because blowjobs aren't cheating. And so that, like, brought this national question. Like, is a blowjob sex? Is that cheating? Is? Is that cheating? Is that as much cheating?

And the president does set a national tone. It happens. Yeah, but it's still against the law to assault a woman. And that law won't be changing. You know, before we get too much into the things he will and won't do, let's keep going with reactions to what did happen. All right, all right. So anyway.

Oh, I love Kyle's face through all this. They both feel a little less safe. It's not like there's burglars at the door or anything, but they just feel like there's a kind of haze of badness that's on our way. But, you know, like me... The key word, though, is feel. Right. They feel. There's no actual... Nothing's going to... They're not going to walk out in the street tomorrow and someone is going to go, look, a woman, a white woman, the majority group that voted for Trump. Assault her.

Unless your blood just boils blue all the way through, you're like me saying, all right, I didn't get what I wanted, but God, I hope he proves me wrong, right? I think that's where most people are. Yeah. So it was as the night went on, and as soon as I knew he was going to win, I think I knew – I had told myself and meant it that he's going to win earlier than anybody in our group. I didn't even want to say it to you guys quite yet, but I think as soon as he was ahead in North Carolina, ahead in New Hampshire, although he eventually lost it, I was like, that's it.

If he's competing that well in New Hampshire, if he's only losing 60 to 30 in counties where he should be losing 90 to 10, he's got this. He's got this. And so then the night changed for me. It was about putting myself into a position where I could absorb the maximum amount of liberal tears. It was about getting as much coverage as possible. You opened your own salt mine. Yeah. I don't know if you know this, but at Hillary's rally, they had this CGI thing with fireworks and all kinds of stuff where she was going to come out and literally shatter the glass ceiling. There was a CGI glass... Oh, CGI?

There's a CGI glass ceiling prepared for her to come out like WrestleMania style with the sparklers going. So she's like awash in a glow of just bright light. And then they tone down and she just goes super scion and this big glass ceiling breaks and she becomes Madam President as Newsweek wanted. I saw that.

Well, that presentation can sit right next to the St. Louis Blues Stanley Cup winners 1970 hats. And Al Gore's low-emission celebration of 2000. Those both got scrapped. It's not happening. Oh, so

I have a question. Kyle and Chiz had, I'll call it a spirited debate maybe on Skype. And it was about the Democrats protesting after the Trump victory. And the core of it was, had the Republicans lost, they would have stayed home. They would have been respectful, maybe bummed, but like, they're not the people who go out and protest. And,

and there's kind of something to be said for that, right? You know, like heck you could argue they didn't love Obama. Obama won twice and neither time with their Republicans taking to the street, like causing trouble. That's the answer that, that, that answered your question right there. Think about OA.

But there's another thing, though. The Republicans haven't really been tested twice like the fucking Democrats have of their candidate getting more votes and losing the election. That's a bitter pill to swallow that you haven't tested yet. I don't know if you saw this. CNN, I guess, just projected today that Trump is going to win the popular vote. Oh, I hope so. I hope so. That's a big deal to me. It might sound like I'm not because that's not my guy, but I really like it when the president gets the most votes. I think it's absolutely. So if you're a Democrat, I don't know if I think of myself as an independent, but whatever.

like i don't know if i think of myself as an independent but whatever um i loathe the fact that i don't know if it's this election but prior to this election the democrats got more votes for the house of representatives like two or three times in a row and don't own the house like they've been getting more votes but because it's so fucking gerrymandered because Republicans own this the state governments that the governor's and that that um Like the Democrats get more votes and they get fewer people in that sucks And it looked like again because it happened to me Are you saying like across the board that happens or like an aggregate an aggregate right? So the aggregate makes sense that the Democrats would win urban areas, like the biggest counties, are overwhelmingly Democratic. That's not how it works.

They'll split it up. So every representative should have roughly kind of the same population. But what they do is they split it up so that the Democrats dominate their area. And then the Republicans win by a more comfy margin. So the Democrats will get like 80% vote in D.C. or something like that. And then the Republicans are winning like 55-45. So they can get more wins than the Democrats. Okay, that makes sense.

Right. But it feels unfair if you're on the less populated. Like if you're on the Democrat side of that, you're like, fuck, we're so fucked. Oh, yeah. It doesn't seem that easy. It's that easy. You just move to a better neighborhood and you get your people voted in, right? Yeah.

Easy as that. From my standpoint, it's not about me, like my personal representative. I wish that Democrats were represented by their population in office instead of by the gerrymandered version of that. Anyway, so we're back to the thing. Would Republicans have done it?

I don't know. It was a little more of a bitter pill to swallow given that he lost the popular vote. Would thousands of young Republicans have taken to the streets? It's rigged. It's like he was prepping his people to be pissed

off. He was preparing for Trump TV to launch. That's what he was doing. And that was the core at my little argument with Chiz last night was, what do you think Trump's motive is when he says something like that, that it's a rigged system? And if you really analyze that, the only

thing that can come of him saying that is to motivate his people to go out and vote, and vote, and vote some more. Get it done, because we're fighting an uphill battle here. This isn't fair. We're not're not an even playing field we have to give that much 10 extra to even compete that's what it felt like to me and maybe prep preparing himself for trump tv where we're gonna fight the power from what he said like you really have to read between and you might be right you know not everything is so simple but if you look at it from a simple point

of view he's saying if i don't win this thing's saying, if I don't win, this thing's rigged. If I don't win, I might not accept this result. It's a no-lose statement. Well, no, it's a no-lose statement. He's going to lead a revolution. If he says this is rigged, he's not going to – That never happens. If he says that it's rigged, he at the same time gets more people out to vote, which I guarantee he was thinking of that.

Like, you know, may as well get people out there to vote. Maybe I can win this. And he's also prepping that groups to rise up and come behind General Trump. And he's like, meet me in San Antonio. We're heading north. That's not Trump. That's not the Trump we know, right? We know something about Trump. You paint a pretty ridiculous picture, like the General Trump meeting in San Antonio with leading a battle. How else do you lead your militia groups to overthrow the U.s government because that's what you're suggesting no um what i'm trying to say is he was going to get people to write he was going to get people to not accept

the vote and he was sort of tipping the scale in case it was close but they're just writing against thin air right these writers right now there's nobody fucking listening we're just cleaning up their messes as they break glass, repaint, throw the things at colors, and assault. Trump seemed like he was preparing people to not accept the result. And there's a really convenient thing here that I've seen, Kyle in particular, if I'm honest. I don't think you're willing to look for motive in actions. Hey, do I get to finish my thought at all?

That was just total cutoff. If you want to. Thank you. Look for motive in actions. Hey, do I get to finish my thought at all? That was just total cutoff. If you want to. Thank you. So Kyle in particular, I think, has sometimes said like, oh, the crazy things Trump does,

he didn't mean that or he won't really do that. Like, I won't accept the result of this. And then the things he likes, he says, aha, he actually is going to build a wall. He actually is going to implement this stuff. Oh, don't worry. That other thing he talked about, that's silliness. That won't happen. That's because I think I'm able to look at the things he says and try to look for put myself in his shoes and look for a motive like why do you say this thing how does

that benefit you i did that before i did that with w and i now i'm cutting you off so sorry i'm used to it well please me too i got a big cutoff callous right here oh please i've got one too but nobody sees it interruption bruises yeah that's funny stop it but uh um yeah i i thought that with w i with w he's like i'm a compassionate conservative on this on that i'm like oh cool i voted for that guy the first time and um you know i'm like and then he gets in and i'm like holy shit like he's actually just doing all this like even the things i thought he wouldn't do he's doing him he's doing what he said he would do but that's not looking for a guy that the guy says i'm a compassionate conservative because

he just wants your vote he's manipulating you the motive is not because he wants you to know he's a nice guy and buy him a birthday gift i i just think that when Trump says something like, I'm going to build the wall, he's calling toward his extreme alt-right groups that think a wall will be – they're like, yeah, walls keep people out. I've got a wall in my backyard. He may not build the wall. I don't know if he's going to build the wall. I want him to build the wall.

But when he says it, the more likely scenario, the more likely motive is just to drum up votes, and he won't do it. Of course that's more likely. It's the same kind of thing as like, oh, I'm'm gonna close guantanamo bay because that's a huge issue right now and everybody's like yeah this is the kind of really just righteous guy that actually will go in shut it down and clean it up and get us out of these wars without leaving a giant power vacuum in one of the most hostile areas in the world you know he's gonna do all these things and then guantanamo still open You might not know he tried.

Like, this is the thing. It didn't happen, though. Yeah, well, here's the thing. He failed on his promise. That's true. That's undeniable. But I'm saying, going back to the motive for it, I don't think he said it because he really wanted to close Guantanamo Bay that much.

I think that he said it because, at the time, the hope change message that was being put out was kind of a you know we're changing the old guard this is a new way of doing things we're not doing this torture we're not doing this like creepy gulag style thing no like it was a like it was a change point i think that was 10 days in order in office uh barack obama issued an executive order closing guantanamo bay and And it turns out that executive orders are not the end-all, be-all of what gets done. Yep, not in that regard anyway. Yeah, he meant to do it.

When he said he was going to do it, it's because he wanted to. And then he issued an executive order. And it turns out that if you don't have the support of all the people underneath you, executive orders are for bullshit yeah but if even then he's not stupid he knew that that executive order was going to get overturned he wasn't like hey maybe the republicans are all suddenly cool with this you know how i was elected 10 days ago like a hunky dory like that's a way of saying like you know what i tried to close it just so happens that exactly what I knew would happen would happen, and they shut it down. He didn't have the support of his own party. At the time he came in, he had

the Senate, he had the House of Representatives, and he had the executive branch, of course. He issued an executive order, and even his own party overturned it. He had to see that coming, though. He's the leader of his party. He's plugged in, right? He's a senator. He's plugged in. the guy sits next to him at work he could

be like hey what do you think about gitmo the guy's like fuck no don't mess with that my constituency wants him over there locked in that hole yeah give him the give him their uh give him their prayer mats give him whatever they want feed them water them don't you bring them to u.s soil though my people will not stand for that you might be be right, but I feel like there's a real sort of like, you know, even when he tries, if he doesn't succeed, eh, he actually didn't try. I got no problem with Obama. I'm not going to give Obama any shit.

Obama was great today, I thought. Very gracious, very classy, very conciliatory. I really liked everything Obama did. I kept on watching. I was enjoying it so much and saw him do his thing with the Cleveland Cavaliers. But as far as this Trump thing goes, it has been a lot of fun. I've been watching, you know, the meme war is over. And in the dust of it, we're getting all these montages of the, you know, Trump, just Trump HQ versus Clinton HQ. And just the video montage of the

reaction is such gold. And if you remember that scene from Goodfellas where they're all like laughing uncontrollably, like, like that, like they interject that in between the Hillary supporters crying and squalling like the spoiled children they are. Now, this doesn't encompass all Democrats. This encompasses Hillary supporters, a very small group of people it turns out. There is a big difference between a Democrat and a Hillary supporter, and I hope everyone out there knows there's a big difference between a Donald Trump supporter and a Republican and a Libertarian and a conservative. All very different things, you know?

Okay. What you got? So I think that Hillaryary's supporters were broader than just the group you're talking about but i will say if there's one fucking detestable thing about the blue side it's the cry baby safe space like oh my god if you have a problem with the name of a sports team or a Halloween costume. Suck my dick. Suck my dick and lick in the back. You're appropriating my culture.

Appropriating – if you have an issue with appropriating culture, like – Dude, it's mind-blowing. What, are you mansplaining it to me now? Think about what it would be like if I got offended every time someone who's not a white man used something invented by white men or thought of by white men. It's like you couldn't even get to, you couldn't drive anywhere. You couldn't use medication.

You couldn't live in a democracy. During the primaries. What are you talking? Why do we all have to pretend like we all have our own little thing? Like, oh, this is the white guy pile. This is all my stuff. Oh, I can't eat Kung Pao chicken because that's the Chinese guy's stuff.

But he keeps his stuff over there. This is my stuff, my things. It's just a selfish, childish way of looking at the world with the appropriation nonsense. And you poison the well against yourself when you do stuff like that because the same people who are now weeping in these hysterical videos. Fuck them. The same people who did that six weeks ago were tweeting about the Washington Redskins. You know, three weeks ago, they were saying,

this, you know, this Pocahontas costume, that's not okay for, well, it's fine, the black girl wears it, we know she wasn't black, but we can't, that's fine, ignore that. The white girl can't wear it, that's bullshit. This is appropriation, this is racism and sexism and all the isms and all the ists and all the phobes. And it's like, when that person gets offended again you just think no you're just easily offendable

you're just a pussy you're just being a whiner there is a middle ground because i don't want to be mean right like i'm just the political correctness i like it to the point where you're just not mean to people you know like that's where i aspire to there's some of the meanest people they've been spending the last couple of years screaming racist bigot nazi pedophile at people they disagree with the whole here hang on let's think about it this way i've got i've got thoughts on this is a way to shame people into not expressing their opinion and that's a huge part of why there was like there wasn't a huge like mystery vote for. The reason that she lost was because she was a bad candidate. So when people say that, oh, no, all the white guys rose up and took it back. No, they didn't.

He got less votes. Both of them got less votes than Romney. But the whole PC thing is just a way to say I don't have an argument. You're not picking – but you're disagreeing with me. I don't like what you're saying, and so you're a racist. You're a bigot. Then you're talking about defending yourself from accusations of racism and bigototry only bad people accuse you of being a bigot with no evidence i think that the alt-left is uh is bigger than the alt-right and i think they're very racist i

think they are among the most racist uh americans much more so than the white supremacists in many ways you notice they always want to go to canada It's never Mexico. You notice that they're the first ones to call for violence. They're the first ones to beat a white man in the street. They're the first ones to commit actual hate crimes. You haven't seen the three black guys beating the Trump supporter half to death and robbing him in the

street today? Well, I just think that the Trump supporters have their share of violence, too. I don't think so. Not nearly as much. I think it's disproportionate big time. I think they're much quicker to be the ones who's screeching and ready to hit someone. Donald Trump himself used to cheer it on in the primaries and take his coat while you're at it, right?

Oh, well that wasn't about violence. It was about a guy standing up being disruptive and now he has to be removed from the building because he's in a private meeting screaming obscenities. He's got to go. Now he did say take his coat and I thought that wasities. It's like, all right, he's got to go. Now he did say take his coat, and I thought that was funny. No, no, no, no.

Yeah, they took his coat. All right, so there's a big difference between beating a white man in the street because he's a white Trump supporter and beating him terribly for a long period of time and a guy who disrupts a private event, and now security has to take him out. It's not like the crowd, like, get him, get him down. I was at this thing. I saw how they take him out.

I saw it three times how they removed him. Shortly after he got in trouble, and they were accusing him of being violent. So he was really on the sort of fixing that perception when you were there. But to be fair and remember it there yeah it was there was there's way more there was not very much violence at trump rallies uh unless it was started by someone who obviously was there because they disagree with trump like that was there was if you just let me do the comparison well hold on hold on let me i don't want to keep it so truncated by comparison like i had this talk with someone where they were like oh man it's just crazy like

anytime you hear about the violence coming out it's it's always the trump side it's never the clinton side which we can all we can get into the whole podesta thing that they were staging violence and nonsense and trying to uh incite people because they're pieces of shit podesta but it's there's a reason there's there was never any violence at Hillary rallies because people didn't show up trying to rabble-rouse and shit-stir and start fights because there wasn't a concerted – they just – someone just went to a Hillary rally and started – A guy went to a Hillary rally and started, like, screaming and disrupting – it was actually Obama, and he was disrupting Obama. And Obama said, whoa, whoa, whoa, don't boo him. Don't boo him. This is an older gentleman.

He had that vibe about him that he had served in a war. And he's like, I think this man is a veteran. Let's show him some respect. He's just, you know, trying to voice his opinion. Don't boo him, right?

Whereas on Trump's side, he literally, in the primaries especially, like before he was getting heat for all the violence, he was encouraging it, steal his coat he liked it when they hit the guys um that that's how it went and then trump got some negativity

based on the violence at his events and he was cooling it off that's how i like when they took what about george soros funding black lives matter and destroying inner city areas that's not like a hillary rally but i think that it's very unfair to frame this as though there's some sort of intrinsic violence to the Trump side and that there's not this problem that does happen on the Hillary side. And those people do tend to be Hillary supporters.

And the Black Lives Matter stuff, like that, I mean, they're big riots. If I were to go there and just like be me, I feel like I would get beat up. You wouldn't be safe. Yeah. Oh, that's where I wanted to go there and just be me, I feel like I would get beat up. You wouldn't be safe. Yeah. Oh, that's where I wanted to go to with all this. That's why it's very easy.

There's a very easy litmus test to see which side is actually more violent and racist. I think it's much easier for a person to stand up and say, I'm a liberal. I'm a Hillary Clinton supporter. I support everything she stands behind up from top to bottom. And shout that from the rooftops. You can do that anywhere. You can do that right here in my conservative super hometown that won by 87% to Trump. Nothing will happen to you ever. You can be a black man in a big crowd of rednecks and you can say that and they will not hurt you. But if you do that, but I'm literally afraid to do that are who here would not be afraid of physical violence if they did that for trump you could not pay me you couldn't have paid me

to wear a make america great again hat as i walked to the blues game last night along the street you could not have paid me because i wouldn't have i would have been looking around everywhere like somebody's gonna mug me i am afraid of the violent, but I don't live in a convenient little magic bubble that I can back up into and hide from everybody from. So I just have to be me and keep my fucking 45 with me because that's just how I feel. But they are definitely the scarier, more violent, quicker to physical violence side. They're the ones who will come after you for your – just for your political beliefs, just for you exercising your version of democracy. Maybe not even physical violence all the time. Maybe you tweet something they don't like, and they try and get you to lose your job. Maybe they see, oh, this sportscaster said

the wrong thing when he was talking about the Bucks. He was insensitive in this comment. Let's get him fired. Let's send thousands of emails to his boss. That doesn't really happen on the other side. This Salon article is really interesting. I don't know much about Salon.com, but it's focusing on a WikiLeaks document that came out of the DNC. And it's all about their strategy

to make the more far-right candidates from the Republican side the frontrunners. Our goals and strategy, this is a DNC document right here, our goals and strategies, our hope is that the goal of the potential Hillary Rodham Clinton campaign in the DNC would be one and the same, to make whomever the Republicans nominate unpalatable to the majority of the electorate. We've outlined three strategies to obtain our goal. One, force all Republican candidates to lock themselves into extremely conservative positions that will hurt them in the general election. Two, undermine any credibility or trust Republican presidential candidates have to make inroads

to our coalition or independence. And three, muddy the waters on any potential attack towards Hillary Rodham Clinton. They call this the Pied Piper candidates, this Pied Piper strategy. There are two ways to approach the strategies mentioned above. The first is to use the field as a whole to inflict damage on itself, similar to what happened to Mitt Romney in 2012. The variety of candidates is a positive here, and many of the lesser-known candidates, the page scrolled on me, many of the lesser-known candidates, the page scrolled on me, many of the lesser-known candidates can serve as a cudgel to move the more established candidates further to the right. In this scenario, we want to marginalize the more extreme candidates. We don't want to

marginalize the more extreme candidates, but make them more Pied Piper candidates who actually represent the mainstream of the Republican Party. Pied Piper candidates include, but are not limited to, Ted Cruz, Donald Trump, and Ben Carson. We need to be elevating the Pied Piper candidates so that they are the leaders of the pack and tell the press to take them seriously. Hillary Clinton fucked her own ass. No.

Yeah, in the truest sense, she did, by being so unbelievably unlikable that even – this went according to – this is what the best part is. Everybody's like, yeah, this side sucks. That side sucks. Nobody's happy with it. One side against the entire system this guy makes it. He didn't want – the Republicans didn't want Trump. No way. They were like dude no we got to get cruz in there or something like no fucking way they didn't like we're gonna lose with this guy for sure and the democrats knew it so much that they said yeah ted cruz is the outsider candidate we everybody like not many people know that i didn't know that i don't know

much about ted cruz but if you move donald trump ted crude is this cruz is this out is the outsider alt-right guy who's farther to the right than everybody, and the rest of the Republicans are doing this number. Paul Ryan is doing this number, not wanting to be around Ted Cruz because he's so far to the right. It just so happens that Donald Trump – I'm just – well, to get back to what I was going to say real quick. So let's finish on something. Let's finish on something when Kyle jumped in. I think it's funny that there's this equivalence of they're both so terrible, they're both so awful. The entire establishment has forsaken us.

Really, Trump, against all odds, got through this whole system and won it. You know, the Republicans were kicking and screaming, they hated it just, you know, weeks before the election and up to the election. Prominent Republicans are saying, no, I'm not, I'm going to vote for our candidates, but I'm not going to be stumping for them. Like a lot of divisiveness in that Republican crowd. Hillary Clinton, on the other hand, groomed, raised, definitely the choice. The Democrats undermine Sanders. They say, oh, she won so many votes anyway. But you don't know that she still would have been a fair race. So you can't say for sure. If it were a fair race, Bernie Sanders very well may have beaten Hillary Clinton in the primaries. And he would have beaten Donald Trump because of his turnout and enthusiasm.

Donald – just look at the number of votes. He's had so much enthusiasm. I can't – Bernie supporters out there probably feel – they're the happiest of the people on the left, I would think. I feel so sorry for you, Bernie supporters. They see Hillary, and they feel vindicated. Yeah, I feel bad for them too. I feel so sorry for all of you out there who are Bernie supporters. I feel so badly for you because you had a guy who is, you know, the man's not dead. That's not what happens in our political

races for any Ethiopians listening. We don't do that here. That's what they do. You think they have races in Ethiopia. You're lost! Well, yeah, but they're on foot. That's Kenya. Well, it's a losing rivalry i lost my whole train of thought all right so bernie bernie is i i don't think bernie ever told me a lie once all right i think bernie is like 99 fucking um um honest he would occasionally say something that i felt was a bit manipulative, like he's trying to, like, oh, yeah, he's doing

a little political thing here. But those instances were rare. Bernie's a great, genuine, loving guy. And when I say loving, I mean our country. He had a vision for America that he believed would be a utopia, and he thought he knew how to get us there, and he wanted to do it to make America great

again for reals. That was what he really wanted to do. I disagree with him on pretty much everything economically, but I don't think that he... I think that he was going forward thinking, like, this really is what's going to help people. Like, this is going to be better. Not like Hillary Clinton, who's like, oh, yeah, you know, we're going to do this and that

and all these fucking rubes buying it, you know. Like, I don't trust a word she says. With Bernie, as much as I didn't like his stances, it's like, okay, you do seem way more like a genuine guy than this awful devil. There are a lot of people who are angry right now. And this reminds me a little bit of like back in, I don't know when it was, but whenever the Occupy Wall Street stuff first started happening. And I felt there was a lot of misdirected uh energy uh being put into into an area that wasn't going to benefit their cause right now people seem to be mad at conservatives they seem

to be mad at any white man that they can like say oh you must have done it when if you look at the breakdown of the of the voting white women is what is what gave trump this win trump won like 30 his his huge numbers considering that this is the guy who wants to build the wall with Latinos, which I think the Latino thing has a little bit of something to do with the Latinos who are voting in this country, presumably went through the correct path to become citizens, which is an arduous and difficult path. And maybe they don't like the idea of someone hopping a fence and then instantly getting amnesty. I'm just saying, maybe that's why they voted for Trump so much. He was supposed to lose dramatically to Latinos in the same way that Obama won. Well, not the same level that Obama won blacks at 98% or whatever it was. But he won a third of the Latino vote. A third of the Latino vote.

That's mind-blowing. He won white working women on you know, on college. Wow, that's dirty. Like all those articles now that are saying like, you know, blame. This is a problem with white men. This is a white men problem. You know why they're targeting white men other than it's the safest group to make fun of and mock? Because they really, really want to fucking call all the black people, all the Mexicans, all the women that voted for Trump.

They want to call them Uncle Toms. They want to call them traitors. Uncle Tome Tilo. White women went for Trump. White women. Yeah, if you include Latino women and black women and the whole gamut, I'm sure he lost with women.

Yeah, 53 to 43 went for Trump. Okay, and that is shocking. That is shocking right there. We would have never thought that that would have happened because she's the first female candidate, right? You would think that she gets that gimme vote like Obama got with Black. As you were there, I'm listening in my head.

To me, the reason women aren't voting for Trump is that he's fucking bad to women. He cheats on every wife he has. He's cheating on his current wife. I think she's okay with that. I know you don't like that because of your personal belief about marriage. I know that you have

very strong feelings about marriage and that contract and what it means to you. You can't just write that off. You hear him on the bus saying, I just go up and grab women by the pussy. I get away with it because I'm a star. I go behind in the locker room. You once said... Hold on, hold on.

I can hardly speak without being called interrupting. I get my chance. He says he goes back into the locker room of Miss USA, Miss Universe, and Miss Teen USA under the guise of checking it out. You can tell. It's a fucking ruse, right? They're 18 or older.

He's not good to... They might be Miss Teen USA, I don't know. But, okay, they are, I guess. But he, you know, he likes to fuck women. Every woman he can find, and it's not like a respect-loving thing. He's a misogynist. It's really what he is

and i'm not saying that he has no respect for all women right you know i've heard red long interviews with women who work for him and stop working for him and and uh you know they they had some success there but i just don't think that he views women like but but going back to the marriage thing like like i i got no issue with how he runs his marriage or a couple he's got his wives might do they yeah yeah have they said things like they dumped him because he cheated i mean it wasn't like they had this i don't think that makes you say okay well hold on hold on you're making a huge jump here from the way he treats his wives by cheating on them to misogyny which is the hatred

of women like he just sees a woman and he's just viscerated like that stupid whore i fucking hate her you know i just what a bad person or even on a less extreme scale of misogyny i guess i'm just like oh she's just stupid and dumb and they're not quite on the same level as men if i had to be honest about the number of misogynists i've met in my life it's it's probably close to zero you might have i've never i really i it's it, it's probably close to zero. You might have a high definition there. That's what the word means. All these words have been polluted so much that the definition doesn't mean anything. Racist used to mean someone that would be like,

oh, that black guy, he's lesser than me. He's not as good as me because he's black. Now racist is, hey, that guy, he thinks you should have to have a driver's license to vote. What? Racist, or whatever the case may be, that it's been tamped down so much he thinks you should have to have a driver's license to vote what racist or like whatever the case might be that that it's been tamped down so much that now words can be applied willy-nilly and i really i sincerely i don't think that he's he hates all women i think that he says stupid

buffoonish things is uh but i think that we've all said stupid buffoonish things and that contempt for or ingrained prejudice against women i I mean, you don't have to fucking want to burn every woman you see to be a real misogynist. The fact that you've lived an entire life without ever meeting one who didn't have an ingrained prejudice against women. Okay, I was thinking more sexism being ingrained prejudice. But misogyny, I was thinking, has a higher level than sexism. I've met sexists. I'm saying I don't know anyone who just really has a ton. I think I've probably met a few people who just have a lot of contempt usually like really bitter guys who

aren't getting laid who just think that all women are out there and like this cabal of like haha how best to make steven miserable today like there are guys like that i don't think that trump is one of them i think that just like everything in this election that got overblown tremendously nobody thought he was a misogynist for i don't't know, the 30, 40 years that he was in the public spotlight. Nobody thought he was a racist when he was hanging out with Al Sharpton or whoever the fuck in the 90s, Don King. It's only stuff that came up when he ran for president. The people that won a lawsuit against him for not letting black people move into his hotels thought he was racist. And the people that, when he was a slumlord, like not repairing the place in an effort to get them to move out, those people thought he was racist too.

That was a pricing issue. If the black person had enough money. Yeah, I know. That one you can kind of write off as a scummy but legit business move. Well, hold on. It is a legit business move if you need if you require a certain amount of money to live in your business in your building and they don't have it that's not what it would happen that's not what i'm talking about i'm talking about when he didn't

maintain the building in an attempt to get it like uh what do they call it condoned cordoned off condemned condemned that's what i'm looking for intent to get it condemned to force everyone to move out like you're saying he was a slumlord, but is that direct racism? No, that's what I just said. I just said that. Oh, there's no race involved in that at all. He just wanted to get those fucking people out of that building so he could tear it down and build

something better. And he was found guilty of this. Or that or he settled, I forget. But it was legit. He wouldn't let black people move into his building. It wasn't about income. He opened a country club in Florida to blacks and Jews. I know, I know. I'm just saying, you said no one ever called him racist before that. The people that sued him for being racist in one did.

Well, more people called us racist than that one time. We get called racist every day. I don't think get called racist every day. I'm saying that to blow through all these stories. I think he probably is a sexist because he's an older, powerful man. He probably does look at a lot of, when he sees it, I think this is what happens. And, of course, I'm just imagining what Donald Trump thinks. That's a hard thing to do. But I think he sees, like, a woman he considers some sort of big-boob bobblehead.

And yeah, he's sexist toward her. He knows what he... He sees her as a sexual object, probably. But then on the other hand, I think he sees someone like Omarosa, and he's like, wow, there's some untapped talent. There's a go-getter. I saw her on stage last night. That was funny. He's got Omarosa up there with him.

Kellyanne Conway, the first woman to lead a winning presidential campaign. She is so good at her job. She is very very good at her job. When I thought Trump was losing I was like. Trump also first person to put a woman in charge of constructing a skyscraper in New York City. When I thought Trump was losing I would still look at Kellyanne Conway I think I have her name right and just be like she's amazing at this job. She can spin like nobody's business like Sitting there watching and being like how is she gonna get out of this one? Like what is she gonna say? important thing that we need to talk about here in regards to Trump being accused of

Raping the family dog of the Clintons, you know, it's really more about an Isis issue, you know Per capita Isis fucks many many many more animals than than donald trump you know it's a tremendous issue he would be said bill maher um i like bill maher a lot and uh he also dislikes the cry baby wing no and uh but he had kelly conaway on and you know trying to hold her feet to the fire and in the end he was like you know what i hate your candidate but god you're so good at this job I wish you the best of luck except the winning you know like he did this thing like uh he had this segment where he I guess it was right before the election where he was saying like you know we've I've been doing this for a long time

and I came out in 08 and i said that mccain was the devil and evil and i said that romney was the devil and evil and a racist no this is mar okay bill maher sorry i didn't clarify he was saying you know i've mocked all those guys from before said they were evil said they were racist said they were sexist but this time i'm telling the truth this time he really is the sky is falling and it's like you can't just say hey you know my entire career up to this point i'm a catastrophizing liar that's what i am but right now i'm telling you the truth you know right now the sky is falling it's like no little chicken like no i don't believe you anymore chicken little yeah you've ruined your

credibility you've called racist you've called sexist. You've called all these words and said the sky was falling so many times and nothing happened that people are now like, you know what? The hyperbole that's always been dredged up around a conservative candidate, when you get

someone in who actually exemplifies at least a few of those rallying cries, kind of gets lost because they've all they call bush the devil and then romney was the devil and then mccain was the devil but we respect him because he was a war hero you know in fairness the republicans call every democrat the devil too they are the devil okay i can't argue i guess so um i don't think obama was the Antichrist. Actually, I liked him.

He's my guy. I like Obama, too, man. Watching Obama today was very, I don't know. I liked everything I saw, and I was very impressed with him. Because it's the first time the two have ever met, Obama and Trump, face to face. Really? Yeah. You guys didn't watch it? I was like doing stuff today

yeah I had shit to do well they've been replaying it all day on CNN so the press comes in and I have never heard so many shutters it's fully automatic and they're sitting next to each other in the high backed foreign leader chairs

the ones where he'd have the queen of england or whoever the fuck in and uh and obama starts and he says we hit on a lot of topics you know we talked about this we talked about that uh very constructive uh conversation he's go ahead you know he like signals to trump to to jump in and trump uh was very kind as well he's like this is the first time we met you know uh we hit a lot this meeting was supposed to be 10 or 15 minutes but we've been here for almost half an hour and a half you know sometimes he lies about who he knows though what do you mean oh it's a putin reference he uh oh he would earlier in the campaign he was bragging about how much he knew putin and how they were connected and then later in the campaign he said he'd never met him or didn't know him at all.

Of course, the truth is a very flexible thing with Donald. So the... It follows that line of convenience. Absolutely. He speaks in just these broad generalities sometimes but I didn't hear him do that today. I heard him

instead of adding in the greatest you know, this was a very good conversation he said said, or whatever. He didn't go, big conversation, great conversation. He didn't do that. He had, every time he opened his mouth, it was another thing to say. I like that, because you don't see that of Trump much. lot of things we talked about the difficulties that are that are on our plate already we talked about the things that are going wonderfully and we thought when we talked about uh you know what's to come it looked really good to see them next to each other uh and then can i so um i have a thing to add obama said that w did that for him that that when he came in that w he's like the guy couldn't have been more gracious and more helpful in the transition. And so Obama said that he was using, and I don't have a high opinion of W, but he said he was using W's transition as a model on how to do it right. Like paraphrasing. He's being, I can see that.

And I think that going on back, I think maybe we all saw that image of George Bush 43, H.W., putting the letter that he wrote and left for Clinton, I suppose it was, and how gracious and statesmanlike that was and generous and everything and kind, just beautifully written, and I loved reading it. You're our president now,

and I love that that's part of our system. Meanwhile, you got somebody like Lady Gaga out there tweeting, hey, look, the Electoral College doesn't vote until December. Let's sign this petition and get them to vote how we want them to vote, and we'll pay the fine that they would have to pay. You got someone like that trying to undermine the basic principles of the American democracy. Now, you want a civil war, then that's now you want a civil war then that's how

you get a civil war and i'm not joking this is hyperbole you those armed militias that everybody always gets scared about that's when they actually do something when you steal from them then you might have the side that is going to it the the left right civil war is going to be quick. And one-sided. It's going to be overwhelmingly one-sided. It's the side with all the guns if it ever happened, just filling you in. God forbid that ever happens. Which side is that, Taylor?

Oh, the right side. Oh, it's the side that's not always trying to limit the amount of ammunition in a magazine. It's the side that stockpiles food and ammunition their entire lives. I know guys with machine guns that can shred armored personnel carriers in towers above their house.

I know guys with air filtration systems that can filter out anthrax and water systems that have huge underground reservoirs. Don't fuck with those people by stealing from them, Lady Gaga, because they don't like your music. You know what I don't like about it there was there was a whole there's a whole thing like with a couple articles like totally i want to have a lady gaga thing like i won't line up like

the i don't support lady gaga's suggestion that we break the rules like i'm not on board with that like we obey the rules it's one of the the things this country does really well. I would like to change the rules, you know, for the next time. I would paid attention to like wisconsin and michigan were ignored they were completely ignored why because they were safe blue states if you're in wyoming if you're in oklahoma everyone's ignoring you there might be things that the government should be doing better for them i don't know tornado control or something i don't know but they're not doing it right maybe they need to dump money into tornado prediction i have no idea what problems they're facing in Oklahoma. These tornadoes are too powerful. But no one gives a fuck about Oklahoma's problems because they're not a swing state. And you can also see it in the order of the primaries. Four years ago during the primaries, California was was one of the first ones.

And they were talking about importance of Silicon Valley and jobs and H-1B visas and all these like California specific issues that are huge to them. Now, California, at least for the Democrats, I'm not positive about the Republicans, but they voted when it was practically over. Right. It was a done deal. And no one talked about those. No one gave a fuck about California issues because it was late. Yeah, it was already too late for california to help yeah if it was based on popular vote i'm just talking about it in the primaries there if it was um based on the popular vote then oklahoma's issues would matter in proportion to their population so would michigan so would wisconsin it wouldn't be a matter of oh california is reliably

55 democrat we can ignore them no they'd have to pay attention to the 45 as well. Make them 47. Well, and you would see a bigger turnout. So like Northern California, you would see a huge uptick in the number of Republicans voting there because as of now, I can only imagine that they're kind of like,

why, fuck it, why bother? And you also see like Democrats in Idaho would suddenly be able to be like, all right, I'm going to go vote because there's a point now. It's not just, you know, it's only three points. And I don't think that works. I think then you get, you get some sort of mob rule. And then all of a sudden the little States just don't get any representation. You know, I, I, I feel like you've got some little States that aren't getting, aren't getting their voices heard. You know, what's good for the guy in New York, isn't good for the guy in, in, in, in Florida,'s good for the guy in New York isn't good for the guy in Florida.

What's good for the guy in California isn't good for the guy in Georgia. It's hard for everyone to get represented correctly. I really feel like the popular vote is the best we can do that, because right now that same issue exists, but it exists based on whether or not your state is a close call or not. know people care a lot about was it arizona this year or new mexico i forget one of them was a real toss-up and uh they got a lot of attention yet maybe nevada or something who that was close to i'm not getting good examples but um you know utah and colorado maybe face similar problems but no one gave a fuck about utah because it was pretty reliably

third party aside, it was pretty reliably Republican, but they would care about Utah if there was a popular vote because they'd have to. They'd have to care about every vote. Would they though? Because there aren't as many people in Utah to be worth any fucking thing. Like if there's only

3 million people in Utah and there's like 10 million here in Georgia, like why even go to fucking utah get those three million votes let's focus on these 10 million is like oh well they'll only care about city people and not so much about country people right country people just won this election yes but if it was like well another thing like i haven't looked into the electoral college the arguments for it and against it as much. But when I did read against it, it was someone saying, like, well, it would be very easy to manipulate in that if Hillary Clinton had won, she obviously, amnesty was one of her things she wanted to do. She wanted to give amnesty to a huge number of illegal immigrants, and then they would be able to vote in the next election.

We would need a three-fifths compromise. You'd basically be importing people, keeping the borders relatively open, unsecure, having tons of people come in who are going to vote for your side, and then giving them amnesty and allowing them a voice in the vote, and that's not fair. That's what happened after we were just talking the other day. I don't know how true it is, but I read that, and it sounded compelling. I think we should talk about the things that we actually think are going to happen and are actually going to affect lives within,

say, the first 30 days of a Trump presidency. And maybe not the things that are actually completed, but the things that are actually going to be done that he's going to do that will affect things. I think in the first 30 days, you're going to see a lot of executive decisions. Is that what they're called? Executive orders. Executive orders. I think you're going to see him start undermining Obamacare. He's going to go after that big time. You're not going to see a war with Russia? You're not going to see a war with Russia now. We've prevented that. Don't worry. And I think that he's going to... Oh, what was the other thing that I actually thought he was going to do early? The wall?

Not the wall. No, no, no, no. It was something he's actually going to do. Well, I fucking lost it. I guess I'm asking you guys. What do you think he's going to do that will happen that will change things for Americans? I'm super interested in how he stocks his cabinet because that's a big deal. I think Trump is going to be more hands-off than most presidents.

And I should note, hands-off doesn't mean bad. Some of my favorite ones like Obama and Bill Clinton were hands-on. But there have been great hands-off presidents too, people who just put good people around them and let them run their jobs. But Trump, I still see him as the guy who isn't really interested in the drudgery of running the government. I think he likes winning. I don't think he even gives a fuck what winning is just so long as he won. So long as whatever he wanted is what happened,

then he's flexible on what he wants. He just wants to win. Trans-Pacific Partnership, that's dead. Not dead not gonna happen that's absolutely dead on the floor like obama's current tour where he's going to peru and uh he might two or three other countries with people that fill his head and then whatever those people want is what trump wants that that's how i see his presidency being run. So I hope he gets people who do the sorts of things that I like. I'm sure everyone hopes that. And when, I don't know,

when Newt Gingrich is Secretary of State, if that guy is like crazy pro-Israel and wants to bomb Iran to stop them from doing whatever, like, oh. Ah, that's the other one. That is the one. Iran deal, done.

He didn't like that deal. He didn't like it. I'll tell you why. It was a bad deal. You need to stay in that deal. Because we already did the shitty part. Like, step one of that deal, give them, like, billions of dollars. Step two, they behave. Why would you pull out of that deal?

Oh, good luck with that. Yeah, yeah. No, it's like, alright, Kyle, I'm paying you for tech support. Here's a billion up front. Now you have to support me. And then, like, what, I cut that deal? No. Hey, and don't use this huge sum of money to further your research into the things I'm telling you not to do.

I'm not saying I love the deal. Don't do that. Yeah, I'm just saying if step one is you give them all the money, step two is not cut the deal. Did you see that Saudi prince that Trump had formerly had the tiff with on Twitter? Yes. Like, come back and be concerned. It's times like, that is why this is so sweet for me. Like, little moments like that, little moments like the hardcore far alt-left Hillary supporters who are squalling like children,

far alt-left Hillary supporters who are squalling like children. Miley Cyrus crying. Lena Dunham crying. All those chubby white cunts that said they were going to go to Canada because they don't like Mexicans. All of them who are crying an hour back and out. Jackie and Hope did not cry.

They just wish their person won. I'm not lumping them in, of course. People do. I'm doing some vlogs again and people are writing triggered about them in all capital letters. That's not really how it went down. They just wish their guy won. In the same way you might feel if your team made it to the Stanley Cup and lost.

No, in the same way you might feel if they were about to hand your team the Stanley Cup, and then someone ran in and took it and was like, nope, Red Wings win. They were favored. Everyone knew their win was a bygone conclusion. and then like someone ran in and took it was like nope red wings win you know everyone knew their win was a bygone conclusion they won the president's cup that year and then they know what it was it's like you listened to the whole game on the radio and the commentators have been lying to you about the score st louis blues up six to nothing now over the montreal canadians and this wonderful 2016 Stanley Cup. And then I'm so excited.

And then I get home and I turn the TV on. And the result is, oh, a sweeping Canadiens victory. 10-0 against the St. Louis Blues. They barely even showed up tonight. It's like, well, who's been talking to me the whole way home? Like, what the fuck's going on? I thought I had this in the bag. And now, out of nowhere, I lost.

But yeah, I'm sure Jackie and Hope are doing what healthy healthy people do which is kind of be like well shit i don't want this to happen but life goes on i'm not gonna be like everything's not gonna collapse around me i have no problem with that and i got no problem with crying about it either um i just don't want you to cry about it and then like go around me yeah what i don't like some of the things that i've heard is like you know college professors uh excusing students from their midterm because of the trying time they're having. That's bullshit. I knew Woody would have that reaction because he's with me on this one. I don't like that safe space faggot shit.

Excuse me for using the F word. I don't mean gay people. I mean assholes. I had a meeting. I was okay with it. At Hope School, they sent out a letter to everyone and said can you just be civil like you know they're half of you are really excited about the election half of you are not just be nice to each other and i thought i guess that's okay i don't know

you think that would have been a an email that they sent out if it went the other way hey be nice to those people been calling calling Nazis and racists for two years. I don't think, well, I don't want to get caught arguing in a hypothetical. Yeah, yeah, we don't know what that school would have done, but I doubt they'd have done that thing because I don't like them, those private kids. I'm allowing my

bias to infiltrate what their heads are thinking and what they're doing. They don't just have their own ideas, they have my ideas in there too. Well, this is a post-school as a heavy Christian component to it. their heads are thinking and what they're doing. You know, they don't just have their own ideas. They have my ideas in there, too. Post-school has a heavy Christian component to it. Like, not in the official thing, but there is a... Just the demo? Like, a lot of the popular kids belong to, like, a Christian after-school club and stuff like that.

I hate that shit so much. That doesn't do with your daughter's school. I just don't like Christians. So I'm just saying, I bet a lot of them voted for Trump. Like, it's not like she goes to some you know the university of missouri where they have all that trouble yeah i don't know if i want to quote the guy who said this the other day but whenever someone uses god as a reference i've said that yeah that's what he's playing yeah whenever someone uses god as a character witness,

they don't have a real one. Yeah, you have to have... Just ask him. I've got an imaginary friend who loves everyone and everything, and he likes me a bunch. Like, no shit. Like, the whole premise of God is that he loves us all. He loves Hitler.

That's the point, that Hitler could ask for forgiveness right before, well, he can't commit suicide, but let's say he died naturally. right before Hitler dies, he can say, forgive me, I accept you into my heart, Lord, I did the wrong thing, take me home, and then God says deal and brings him up there. Not Hitler, you know why? He committed suicide. He committed suicide, that's what I said. Oh, I'm sorry.

That's only a rule some parts of Christianity. Other parts, if someone kills themselves, you're still allowed into heaven. Well, I value your knowledge on that. I blame my parents. I don't know shit. Blame your parents. It was just a ruse to keep you from killing yourself. Don't do that.

You'll go to hell. There's some situations where killing yourself is definitely the way to go, though, right? There's plenty of times where it's like, God, I don't want to go into that grinder there. I don't want to suffocate for the next three days. Let's just end this. I know you weren't a part of it but there used to be a billionaire's challenge in call of duty and um it really i don't remember what it was but i i remember so there was a billionaire his name was alky dave and i looked into it i think he actually might be but anyway um at one point i said that he wasn't i think i was wrong back on topic um

he put like 10 grand up and people would compete for it. Like 1v1s or like a free-for-all over the course of a day or something. And the second or third one that was going to happen got canceled because he was going to assist someone in their suicide. And it was fake. It was a prank. But the back story is this. Justin.TV, before it was Twitch.TV, was just one of the many in a stream.

It wasn't bigger than YouStream. It wasn't bigger than there were a couple other ones I don't recall. But someone killed themselves on a live stream on Justin.TV. And it was such big news, it blew up. Well, back to the billionaires challenge alky david had something called battle net something close to that and he was going to live stream this billionaires challenge the whole cod world which was significant at the time turned against him because he also had another stream that he promoted where he was going to like help a guy with assisted

suicide and i wasn't really now legal in colorado everybody hated it like everyone was so upset with the whole idea of assisted suicide but to be honest like in my heart of hearts i thought it was okay the story and again it was all a prank was that there was some guy in like the czech republic or something who was terminally ill and he wanted to be dead. So Colorado just passed the right to die thing. Really? Yeah. And maybe we should segue out of politics,

out of Trump-Clinton talk into maybe some of the other things that happened yesterday that those of you out there who were not happy with the outcome can be happy about. Marijuana, recreational marijuana now, and I don't have the list in front of me, but I think Maine and Massachusetts and medical

marijuana now in Florida, though I don't know the qualifications required, but I think they're low. In California, right? Recreational in California, yes. One of the biggest economies in the world now has legal recreational marijuana. Now, of course, they always had that loose medical marijuana in California, which if you get caught smoking in the street in Cali, I think it's still just like a $50 ticket or something if you don't have the card. So it was basically decriminalized and incredibly accessible already,

but now they've made it recreational. Now they've made it a huge boom for their economy there. It's going to be good. Maybe they can trade weed for water and make it. Yes. This is a PKA stat. I think I just read that more than half of America's population can legally smoke now.

Marijuana, this is. Nice. It's great news. I feel like we're finally near the cusp of when it's going to be that avalanche of everybody has to go, all right, you know, it's legal. Like, I don't think Missouri and Georgia are going to be leading that next step in the battle because it wasn't even on the ballot here. We had all of our propositions were about, missouri has the lowest cigarette tax in the country by a lot apparently

like i have friends who smoke in other states and they're like god like my pack of cigarettes cost me like 11 in new york like it's like eight bucks if i'm in you know washington or whatever you look at a price on cigarettes here add like nine cents to it and that's what you're paying like you can get a pack of cigarettes here for like four bucks it's incredibly cheap and like every single prop was about you know keep cigarette sales tax low we like to smoke like and all that but uh yeah i think in the back weed that's awesome i really hope soon missouri stops being a backwards idiot in that regard and realizes there is money to be made here. Yeah.

The people who are taking advantage of this thing and beginning their cultivation and beginning to get on board and get modern with the science behind it, being more efficient with it, the hydroponics, all that stuff, those are the states who are going to go into this next century with a heads up, with a couple extra billion dollars in their coffers. Incentivizing entrepreneurship in those states. Look at Colorado. It's billions that they're able to now pump into their education or their infrastructure or whatever your state needs. Maybe your state's roads are crumbling. Pot. Maybe your state has a homeless issue. Pot. Maybe your state has a lot of old people who don't have are crumbling. Pot. Maybe your state has a homeless issue.

Pot. Maybe your state has a lot of old people who don't have housing and food. Pot. All of your problems can be solved by just... Your state has a Republican infestation, and they're attacking bathrooms. No, no. Your state has a Democrat infestation, and slowly but surely, they're curing it. An infestation is when you've got a whole bunch of them.

Look, there's one there and one there and one there. No, that's not the case. It's the opposite of that. The Republicans are saying, yeah, we've got a lot of damn liberals here. Look at that. Barely held on this time. We've got to really put them all in one little area. You're off target on that. It looks like the governor... Oh, the population.

It looks like the governor lost and we're gonna really wait the republican governor won or uh no the democrat so here's the scoop it was very close at the end the democrat won by 5 000 votes now there's something like 10 000 uncounted votes so but it would take what would that take it'd be a pretty you gotta win like 7 000 of them right uh seven and a half yeah seven yeah he'd have to get 75 of the uncounted votes but he's not hasn't conceded yet one guy declared victory and the other guy hasn't conceded yeah but um of course it depends where those votes are coming from and then even then so some of them are uh like it's a bunch in wake county or something which would imply they'll be democrat but some of them are military which would imply they'd be republican yeah we'll see where how it goes down well that's fun i would i'm interested to know because your state is it is

a very interesting thing you know geographically it's right there between north and south um and it represents that when they vote, it seems. It was very close between Trump and Clinton, I thought, North Carolina. Going back to like- At first it was, then I think he really pulled away as time went on. Is that right? I think so. I never did say the reason that I think Trump won. I think it's multifaceted. A, one. I think it's multifaceted. A, the Democrats, the whole point of their, of the whole, not the general, the primaries, the whole point of the primaries is to find the strongest candidate. But their meddling, their rigging didn't allow it to do its job. They thought they had this person, and instead of letting the cream rise to the top, they just picked someone who was a lesser candidate. That was the first mistake.

Of course, you've got Hillary Clinton, a toxic candidate. She's hated, hated by hardcore conservatives for a number of reasons. There's the stench of bills still on her. There's lots of... Disliked by just about everyone because even hardcore... Even a lot of Democrats. Even a lot of Democrats. She's just

a nasty kind of person. She doesn't seem... She seems disingenuous and self-serving and crooked. That's Hillary Clinton. And then, of course, all of the leaks. The thing coming from Podesta couldn't have helped. The thing... The Comey stuff couldn't have helped.

The WikiLeaks stuff couldn't have helped. Then you've got a new candidate, this guy Donald Trump, who is firing up some people who normally don't vote. There literally is a silent group of Trump voters who are afraid, because of the left's violent nature, to voice their opinion, to publicly say I'm a Trump supporter. They won't put a Trump sticker on their car. They won't wear a Trump hat. They won't tweet it online because they're afraid. They're afraid for their job security. They're

afraid for their physical well-being, whatever. They're afraid because the left is more violent. So you had that take place for sure. You don't think so? We all admitted that we'd be afraid to support him. That's just the truth. And so you've got him dredging up these people who normally wouldn't vote, and now they're voting. these people who normally wouldn't vote and now they're voting um also it wasn't in the media's i think the media did this thing where they convinced themselves that it was impossible

and so then they just pushed that narrative and they convinced many millions that it was just impossible and they didn't go out and vote is it you left out to me what was the biggest thing so it's the rust belt and um what'd you say you're not done i wasn't done yet it's okay that's where i was going you know the rust belt to me is'd you say you're not done i wasn't done yet it's okay that's where i was going you know the rust belt to me is the conversion right it totally is there's there's a lot of other things kyle said are pretty true but the fact is he went to factory workers and because of non-college educated men yeah he went to factory workers who previously no one had really been talking to because they were just in the bag. The unions usually control their vote. Yeah.

And he said, look, you know, look, Ford's sending jobs to Mexico. If I was president, I'd put a 35% tax on that. When they tried to come back in, Ford would look at this and say, well, shucks. Taking these jobs and putting them in Mexico no longer makes business sense. There was an air conditioner company, Carrier. Carrier. If I have it right, yeah. They either did it or they were starting to do it and he was like not on my watch you know you think you're going to make those things cheaper

there i'm going to cost you more than you'll ever say keep those jobs here in america that message was able to convert people who were previously blue to red and if you look at the states he picked up that hillary would have otherwise won there are those Rust Belt, there are those factory states in Ohio and Michigan and Wisconsin. And he nearly won Pennsylvania. He did. He did win Pennsylvania. He won Pennsylvania.

Did you see the Amish in their carts lined up as far as the eye could see? No. Not even kidding. 40,000 Amish people voted in Pennsylvania, apparently, because they were all like... There were horse and buggies lined the fuck up down the road for election day

They voted for you think yeah Trump won baby lately. You know they're not gonna vote for Clinton Trump won and no way I'm a people ever vote Democrat there. No To me they're very religious that I guess you're right on the whole abortion thing but um to me Trump is very much not Amish right oh yeah not religious anything that moves yep but they only showed up because the other option is Hillary that's why they showed up if it had been Joe Biden he would have won this election handily because people would have been like whatever it's Joe Biden fuck it I don't know enough about him to hate him that much screw it it. He's a nice guy. The biggest reason I think they lost tremendously in those states

is they tried to do the same demo thing. So like Obama won because a fuck ton of people voted. He was following W. Mitt Romney fucked them over. When he was in Michigan, Mitt Romney wasn't good for them. Mitt Romney was against the auto bailout.

He's not going to win those states. Mitt Romney in Michigan? I haven't. He did. Was he governor of Michigan? I know he's governor of Massachusetts. No, he was in Massachusetts. Mitt Romney claimed Michigan is his home state. He thought he was going to win it. I forget what claim he had to it. But he was against the auto bailout. Then that probably, yeah, that really hurt him, I'm sure. Yeah, it's not going to be good.

But the thing is, Obama won handily by getting pretty much every minority vote from every minority group in the country and a huge amount of women a lot of white guys too like he did a good job getting everybody to turn out and vote for him uh this time it seems like they tried to do the same strategy and which is basically like you know we don't really need to address all the working class, not college educated white guys. Like, it just wasn't addressed in the campaign at all. She was really banking on fuck tons of women, the black vote and the Hispanic vote. And lo and behold, the black community, the Hispanic community isn't nearly as passionate about electing this old white woman who's been in power for 30 years as they are to elect a younger hip black guy who's like hey you don't know enough about me i'm great you know get me in there i'll fix you like so no of course they lost but it's

not if mitt romney was from michigan for some period of time and his father was the governor of the state oh that's nice yeah he helped mitt romney looks like a real you know spring chicken right now doesn't he Remember when he wanted black? Remember when Joe Biden said that Mitt Romney wanted black people back in chains in the 2012 election? And that was like, man, you know, what if he really does want to put black people back in chains? It's like that was what they had to go with. They had to go with, you know, he leaves his dog on the roof of his car sometimes when he's driving around. Like that is the worst thing that they could dredge up about i didn't like that a bit that

was a big deal for me i i'll tell you this jesus if trump had did that to a dog i would think much less of him than most of the stuff i've heard about him like like that grabbing the pussy talk i don't think he's ever grabbed any pussy i i think he's just bullshitting um and that's not me just assigning like my version of it to it that's just he's just bullshitting. That's not me just assigning my version of it to it. That's just my take of it. It doesn't sound like an admission of a former thing he did. It sounds hyperbole about just how badass

he is. I draw my pistol so fast you can't see it. I run so quick the wind blows. I grab pussy and I'm such a star they can't say shit. You sometimes have a tendency anyway to discard the stuff that you don't want to believe and line up for the stuff that you do. But that's not because I don't want to or want to believe it. It's just me rationalizing and trying to find the most likely thing that's true there through like looking for what their motives motives could be what their motivating factors are and who's listening is trump is a great you know trump

is good like no trump's not good well when you rationalize it and you come through you're like all right so his motives on this was probably just an innocent thing to get out votes and his motive on this was probably just to say that he was really badass but we gotta go case by case i really line up you have to go case by case because different every scenario has a different threshold of believability that you have to establish before you can accept or not so you can't say they're all about the same the the bus thing yeah not a good conversation to be having but if you listen to the tone if you listen to the way it's being said the reaction of billy bush who could see his body language as he was doing it in that bus, which we don't know. It's very clearly not someone reminiscing about sexually assaulting someone.

Not it's not, you know, last weekend, Sharon Stone was still around. And let me tell you, she still got it, walked right over to her, slapped her tit, grabbed her throat, said, we're going to, you know, do whatever. It wasn't like that. It was a it was exactly what Kyle said, a hyperbolic, look at me. I'm so great. I'm so big. I'm not insecure about the size of my hands at all. You would know.

Don't even pay attention. My hands are in my pocket. It's like, oh, look at me. I'm a big billionaire. I'm so big and popular and powerful. And I take insults to the size of my genitalia seriously on a national stage. I would never do that. I'm too powerful.

That's what it was. It's cringy to watch because it's pathetic and embarrassing to watch even more that that little relation like that little billy bush donald trump back and forth it's really unpleasant and billy bush is a little cunt right don't we all that video really ruined him you know more than anyone yeah you know i kind of feel sorry for him because like through no fault no fault of Billy Bush's, is he, like, losing his job and everything. But at the same time, he's kind of being a little cunt, right? Like, I didn't like that. Let me see what I said.

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Okay. Oh, did you have something better than me just saying that I pooped like seven times today? Yeah, I was just going to talk about a bad dream I had last night and how it ruined my whole day. You ever have a bad dream that, like, when you wake up, you're in such a funk that it lasts like six or eight hours of you being depressed?

Literally last week, I woke up from a dream, and it wasn't until I was in the shower showering that that feeling of dread and like shoulder slumping of like oh my god there's not a math class that i'm enrolled in right now i'm 25 i'm not in school that's low that's low grade shit compared to me i haven't i dreamt i dreamt that a female friend that i care a lot about was dying in front of me and i was giving her cpr and she just died and she turned cold and pale and there was nothing i could do and i was just fucking giving her CPR and she just died and she turned cold and pale and there was nothing I could do. And I was just fucking giving her CPR. And in my head, I'm doing the Bee Gees, you know, stay alive, stay alive. And she just died and I'm crying and crying in the

dream. And then I woke up and I felt like it just had happened. It felt a hundred percent real. And I was, I had a terrible day today I'm only like I only perked up like maybe around 6 p.m. or something I all day today I felt really depressed and really down just like like I just lost a good friend right before my eyes it was awful sometimes those dreams can be so real I've had I've had both of those right there's the Taylor one where like I've had the school but I've talked about this before where the in my version of the nightmare is i'm like halfway through a semester and there's a class i was enrolled in that i haven't been attending where i just like oh i

fucked up my schedule for a whole semester half a semester that's it uh it's not usually just a test i've had uh a lot of anxiety about paying a mortgage that i don't have a mortgage but i've had anxiety about that in my sleep. Like, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. You know, so I've had that. But the one that sticks with me all day, like Kyle's had, is infidelity. Like, I'll dream that Jackie cheated on me or something. And it's all I can do to be civil to her.

You know, like, intellectually, I know it's all all like, all right, that was just a dream. But she's making me breakfast, and in my head I'm like, you fucking whore. Bitch. Oh, you would. Oh, you would make an egg like, I don't know, everything. They would be over easy just like you, you whore. I like that. That's funny i've had some where like uh when i was

much younger probably 11 or 12 i woke up at one point uh like borderline like almost woke up crying because i had a dream that my grandma had died because at that time my grandparents still smoked and they weren't like a pack of american spirits once a week woohoo smokers they were like you know southern missouri smokers like three two three packs a day for 45 years would they ever light one she's on a camping trip smokers yes i guess one with another is the top tier in my opinion like they would do that um because i can remember times where i did light one with another but it was net but it was always either a thing where me and another smoker are having a long outdoors conversation, and it's like, we're going to smoke during this. Just like maybe you would smoke a cigar or drink some whiskey or something.

It was just part of the conversation almost. And then the other is hyper-stressful times when someone's died or there's just been a car accident. Well, these were just normal. This was just because they smoked. But that's a Monday a monday in missouri in southern missouri that's a monday and a tuesday you know but they would smoke like that's why i still don't like when i walk into like a bar that allows smoking i kind of like the cigarette smell because it just take it reminds me of what it was like to go to my grandparents house when i was little because they smoked in the house all fucking day the walls i didn't know that those walls weren't

painted yellow like as a kid i had no idea like you could like wipe stuff off there i would i would go around and hide their cigarettes because my mom would always be like you need to you know tell your grandma that she needs to quit smoking if she ever wants to see your kid someday and i was young and i would go there and i would hide my grandma and grandpa's cigarettes and they would like always start off like all right where'd you put it and then it would eventually be like shit taylor where are my cigarettes you know or like however he said it and i woke up crying because i thought that like in my dream my grandma was dying and then she died and it was because of all the cigarettes she smoked and i just woke up being like i what if i could have got her to stop smoking cigarettes?

She wouldn't be dead if she'd stopped smoking cigarettes. And since then, they haven't smoked in like eight years, I think, which is great for people in their 70s. Have you been to the vape at all? I'm sorry to interrupt, but have they seen your vape? Are they in any interest in that? Because I'm fascinated with old people and new tech. My grandma has one uh just the um small like normal stick one like she i don't know she uses it pretty often but it has no

nicotine in it she says she just likes the feeling of exhaling something again like yeah i do too and my grandpa uh he says that is and i quote pussy bullshit. And so he just chews a lot of tobacco now. Yeah. Does he use like Redman Chew? No. Because there's like several. Does he use the brick like Clint Eastwood? He's taking a pocket knife and cutting him some chaw off?

No, he likes skull. Dipping, a dip man. Now is it snuff? It's the stuff that you. Okay. So here are the different levels. So you can have the, is it snuff it's the stuff that you okay so here are the different levels so you can have the is it a round can of dip yes is it like a powdery consistency or more of a ground leafy consistency uh it's pretty fine that's probably snuff like the finest greatest snuff and my great-grandmother used to use snuff, but she used the kind that you snorted, because that was a thing.

And you'd get a little spoonful of this snuff, and it's tobacco, and they're just snorting it up there and getting their fix that way. I found that always bizarre. It came in this cylindrical can. Yeah, it's not sniffed ever, but it's flavorless skull.

So there's no wintergreen there's no mint he says he doesn't like flavors he just likes the taste of tobacco um if you ever yeah he i've dipped probably like six times in my life and every time i have a few friends who do it all the time yeah and like if we were like sitting around drinking and drunk and i see him doing it every once in a while i'd be like you know what like give me one because they they do the pouches and i'm like okay that's not too scary for me I'll try this little pouch and so I'll take it put it in my lip and I always it's always like four or five minutes later and I'm like god I just I feel like I just smoked cigarette but my teeth feel weird and my

gums burn and this can't be good for my like I just I've been doing that you guys do this all day every day and I already am like my gun gums are seeding like is it burning in a way like it affected i don't like that feeling i have dipped three times in my life um once was at a friend's house and we were all there and i was like yeah give me one too one was at school uh because because all the guys dipped in shop class at school uh and then the other one was uh i borrowed one from my cousin once when we were working one day. Every single time I had the same reaction. I got lightheaded, faint, almost or did vomit. And it always made it. And it made the inside of my lip where it was feel really rough for a long time. I mean, I can remember I did this stuff when I was like 14 and my lip only, like I just felt it now to see if it still felt that way anymore. And I was surprised it didn't because last year it did like it changed the way the inside of my lip felt for my entire

Life it was it's so much more powerful than a cigarette You know I could sit there and smoke an entire pack in one Yes, it it burnt the inside of my lip and made it feel rough forever like like right here I had this rough patch from then on and it just never went away. I swear. I was like, that's never going away, is it? That's never going away. I tried one.

They're in like an oblong tin and they're like cold. Those are Altoids. Camels. I've tried those too. It gets in your nose. yeah they're almost they're curiously strong if you want that tagline no charge yeah that is their tagline it's the joke oh okay it was this like oblong tin snooze snus camel yeah i tried one of those and it's spitless you don't have to spit with it and it

didn't burn nearly as bad it was smaller but i also didn't like feel a buzz or much from it and so i want a tobacco enema i want to slide something up my asshole that'll that'll fulfill all my nicotine needs that would be much healthier i don't want it in my mouth though that just seems like the wrong place i just don't like the way like i'm not a very good spitter so i would always do that thing like i'm seeing them basically like just like just spitting it in there but every time i do it i feel like i spit and then i pull away from the bottle and there's just like a bunch of spider web sinews attaching my lip to the rim of the bottle i'm like oh my god people are looking at me and i look like a boob with a bunch of spit on my mouth and so then

you have to like wipe it on the side of the bottle as everybody else is spitting just fine. It's just, it's not a habit worth picking up. Start smoking if you're going to do those things. No, it's not. Stay away. There you go. Yeah, get some cigarettes. They're good for you. Alright. Yeah. So none of the celebrities are leaving it seems. None? Too early to call.

I saw that snoop dog uh was referring to canada as his new home and asking drake to help him move uh that that was kind of funny like legalized pot in california come on snoop i think they got it i wanted to keep yeah but they legalized it last year in canada so he's good he's uh i think he might actually go to canada but who fucking cares am i right are any of us neighbors with Snoop Dogg and going to miss his morning chats with us? Like, who fucking cares? Like, he'll make his music up there. Well, you know, it doesn't matter.

I do wish that some of those dumpy, frumpy blonde chicks had just left the country. I saw Martin Skirelli, who I'm not familiar with. I know he's a billionaire. He's conservative. That's all I know about him. He might be the devil. He's the pharmaceutical guy. He's the pharmaceutical guy. He's the pharmaceutical guy that jacked up the prices on what, Taylor?

Is the devil. Okay. It was, I don't remember the name of the drug. No, it wasn't the EpiPen. No, it was prior to the EpiPen. The EpiPen thing happened because. Was it a heart medicine? Yeah, I don't recall what kind of medicine.

I remember him jacking up some much-needed medicine. Okay, then. But I saw him offering up his private jet to all those celebs, to Lena Dunham and Amy Schumer. And I saw Chelsea Handler. I saw her crying video. I saw Miley Cyrus's. Oh, I haven't seen that one.

I need to find that. I saw Miley Cyrus freak out. Man, I really hope. I need to find that. I saw Miley Cyrus freak out. Man, I really hope... I need to check Lena Dunham's Twitter. I've been checking constantly. One of the last things that she did was had a real conversation with her dad, talking to him

like, how do you feel about the extinction of white men? And he's like, you know, white men have caused straight white men. You have to qualify straight because you wouldn't want to offend a giant group of people. Not like white men, who are just the devil. And she's gleefully talking to her dad, a white dude, about the extinction of white men.

And it's like, clearly this is somewhat hyperbole and being just kind of a bitch, because this is what gets you attention, is being a nasty bitch. But it's also like, you can tell from the gleeful way that she's talking about it that she really she enjoys the thought of that of i like miley cyrus yeah i don't know anything about miley cyrus as a person her her weeping uncontrollably uh was pretty funny but she also

seemed to handle it more maturely than a couple of other celebrities i saw which were much older yeah i thought she was going to be the one like freaking out way more and then lo and behold she was crying and it was over the top with some of the like oh it's going to be horrible for everyone and oh i'm just everybody's gonna be walking around scared like yeah you're exaggerating being crazy but then like 50 year old celebrities are being like this the sky is falling you know you unbelievable unbelievable how these celebrities have reacted but I was really hoping Amy Schumer would leave. There are a couple of other ones to keep, Snoop Dogg, Jennifer Lawrence, et cetera. Miley Cyrus.

I could be wrong. It could be that everyone's right and I'm wrong. But I feel like I'm in on the joke with her, right? She pretends to be this totally outrageous, trying to find herself, whatever. She's in her mid-20s now, right? really outrageous trying to find herself whatever she's in her mid-20s now right she's like a a single boyfriend husband thing or whatever that she seems committed to unless i'm out of date on that um you never hear about her missing any tour dates or whatever you never hear about her getting in any trouble she doesn't have any drug problems yet she acts like she's way skankier than kesha

ever was right with m like, this to me... She has good marketing for her. I've never had a problem with Miley. She's in the news all the time because she fucks, not fucks, pretends to have sex with her, twerks against, was this Robin Williams was the guy's name?

No, Robin Thicke. Robin Thicke, yeah, that's it. That would be really edgy if she twerks Yeah, she fucked Robin Williams. Yeah, right on the tombstone. It's more the nudes that she's constantly putting out there and all the crazy nudes where she's got strap-ons

and she's sucking on dildos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To me, she's not in any trouble. She's not a... Robert Downey Jr., who's the guy he was on the late late show he was scottish craig ferguson maybe craig you're right yeah um and there's a long list of people who really got into trouble lindsey lohan like these guys were living too

wild a life charlie sheen right he is like hiv now eight about that yeah um you know these guys were doing it for real. I was doing one gram rocks. I really feel like I'm in on the joke. This is how she stays and how she gets attention. I've been saying that she was smart for a long time when people would pull up her Instagram and be like,

look at this slut. I'm like, look at that rich fucking millionaire who isn't fucking you or me or anybody she doesn't want to fuck. That's what she is. What, she showed you her titties, and now you think she's a dirty whore who's worthless? No. There wasn't much titty there to begin with, but there's millions and millions of dollars that she's making

by getting a little naked and being provocative. Now, one thing that does seem skeevy to me, it makes me, I'd still fuck her, I'd still date her, I'd marry her. I mean, that's a very rich young lady. But what skeeves me out is that when she's on stage and letting all those fans gro fuck her, I'd still date her, I'd marry her. I mean, that's a very rich young lady. But, it skeeves me out is that when she's on stage and letting all those fans grope her, literally grab her by the pussy, that's one, like whenever she was railing against Trump.

Over the outfit? Well yeah, Donald Trump doesn't reach into your pants, he goes over the clothes too. That's true, that's true. It's a solid point, Kyle. These are facts. Yes. You know, she's literally letting people grab her by the pussy.

She's just standing there with her. She's like, yeah, grab it, and singing with a microphone. And she's not wearing jeans. She's wearing underwear, like panties. And they're just grabbing her pussy. There's basically the same amount of fabric that is on a birthday gift's bow or ribbon between her clam and all of these sweaty fingers finding their way inside of it. I've

looked at those pictures, but it's a still image. I know exactly what you're talking about where she's leaning back and she's got her puss shoved out there and she's singing and everybody's got their hands on her. I don't know if that was a split second and then she realized it got too real. I've seen the video.

She lets everybody get their crap in. That is odd. But I was going to let you know we have a Chelsea Handler update. I'm checking her Twitter right now. Yesterday, my staff reminded me that platforms and voices like mine are needed more than ever. Leaving the

country is quitting. Hashtag keep fighting. Hashtag fuck Chelsea. Hashtag fuck Chelsea. Hashtag horse face. No, no, no. Hashtag a horse is a horse, of course. I had to check and make sure that wasn't a parody account because that is the most narcissistic way

to back off of your promise to leave the country by saying, hey, I'm not going to leave because I made a mistake, because I got overly dramatic, because I got too into it. I'm not going to leave because I made a mistake, because I got overly dramatic, because I got too into it. I'm not going to leave because I – Did you say that was Chelsea Handler? Chelsea Handler. Oh, my mistake. Chelsea Handler. Her big thing was that she –

Yes, she's the one with the Netflix special. Her thing was that she's saying, my voice is too important. I can't leave. My opinion matters now more than ever. That's why I can't leave. It's not because I was a fucking petulant child. I like her. She's not funny. She entertains me.

I find her funny. And I like how free she is with her body. And I have to respect whatever that, I don't know how old she is. I'm going to call her 40. Whatever she's doing to keep her body in the shape that it is, I have a lot of respect for that. I am very attracted to her physically, and she seems really free with her body in a way that someone at her age group, her job and place in the world normally isn't.

Self-analysis, Kyle. Do you think that you might be more attracted to her because her vibe gives out that she's more likely to fuck you? Is that part of her sex appeal? It's not necessarily sex appeal. I find her physically attractive. She's got very nice boobs. I've seen her naked.

On her Netflix special, she's getting massages and stuff. You see everything but her vagina, frankly. She's got a very nice butt. She's got nice boobs. I call her a horse face, but she's no Sarah nice butt. She's got nice boobs. I call her a horse face, but, like, she's no Sarah Jessica Parker. She's attractive to me. Yeah, I, of course, don't agree with her politics, but I think she's hotter than Miley Cyrus even maybe.

Miley's a little odd-looking. But do you think if Chelsea Handler was as conservative as, like, Taylor, not conservative politically, but, like, shy as Taylor Swift, that you'd still be like, dude, I'd like to fuck her? Well, she's a comedian, so I think that turns me on, too. I like Sarah Silverman a lot. She's a bad comedian. That turns me off.

She's a bad comedian compared to the best comedians in the world. There are good female comedians. She's not one. Taylor, girls are funny. I don't know why I have to keep telling you this. Girls are funny. Girls are funny. Girls are smart. Get over it. That's, uh... There are funny women comedians out there there's quite a few of them but there

she is not one she is i've chelsea handler's not i've never met someone who hates and i would have to melissa's not here but i'd have to ask her melissa fucking hates chelsea handler with a passion that i don't even understand like I think that Chelsea Handler's a little higher on her list than Hillary Clinton. And that is high on that list. And I don't know why. She printed out a Chelsea Handler face when she was shooting a.308

and put it hundreds of yards away and shot it. I don't know why she hates Chelsea Handler. I'll have to ask. She's not a funny comedian, so I don't like her. That echoes her same arrogant bullshit of, I can't leave because I'm too important. At least just be

more tactful than that. Speaking of bad female comedians, did you guys see Dana Carvey's new thing? Oh. Are you calling him a bad female comedian? I am, yeah. As a kid, I really liked... You nodded like you were proud of yourself.

I did. I did. As a kid, I really liked Dana Carvey. I like the stuff he did on Setter Ant Live. He's a fantastic impressionist, or at least he was, especially in the 90s. He had George H.W. Bush down. He had that. That was his. And he was great on SNL with that.

I liked him in Wayne's World, and I have a little bit of sympathy for him in that I feel like Mike Myers really left him behind and really screwed him over because he didn't include him in any of his great successes that continued on after SNL, and they were just kind of a dynamic duo that really amplified each other and got Mike where they were with Wayne's World and all that other stuff. But man, that special was not good. I watched the whole thing. I didn't really chuckle much. I didn't care for his impressions. He did a bad Trump impression. And that's his thing is that he was always a very good impressionist. The last special I watched from him was I watched when I was 13. And he closes with this piano number.

I watched from him was I watched when I was 13 and he's he closes with this piano number uh something and I just remember this dying laughing as a 13 year old but no he doesn't do it for me anymore that was not funny it was just sad and especially when you have it uh juxtaposed with Joe Rogan's new special over there which is killer oh my god I was I was so surprised like I Joe I've always been on the side with joe rogan of like he's great an inspiring conversation he's a very interesting guy i like how he is not afraid to yeah ufc he's good at that he makes ufc better for someone like me i like him but his stand-up i was always like no that's not for me i don't i don't think it's very funny i think it's more about him taking things too far about how he thinks that like monkeys live on the moon

or whatever it is and it takes something that's really interesting in a conversation with a pseudo expert on his podcast and makes it into not as funny a bit this stand-up special was the best thing i've seen from him bar none as far as comedy like i find his stand-up is often like a tribute to how cool he thinks he is. It's called triggered. Oh, right. Right. That's what the specials called. Um, yeah,

his standup is usually like, I'm so smart. I have this cool life. I have this cool experience or this guy's so tough. And he tells a story and I don't like it. I, I, I,

this one crushed it, crushed it. I, it, I'm like, do I'm trying to get my arms around it do i like it as much as any stand-up routine you know is it there with the chris rocks back in the day is it there with the the louis ck back when i thought he had the best stuff around right now i don't know like no one's

done anything funnier than joe rogan's routine lately bill burr is about to come out and i guarantee that'll hopefully or hopefully it'll still be good. The black and white one he did a while back really didn't do it for me. He got married, he got neutered. The divorce will make Bill Burr funny. I certainly have. The divorce, if and when that does happen, which is

what is it, like more than half of all marriages end in divorce, so it's a pretty good chance. I think that's a false statistic because of the people who have lots of divorces. I heard that the other day. That makes sense. I'm a fucking idiot. I never even considered that. Just look at our world here.

I hadn't considered it before either, but someone pointed that out the other day. They're like, no, don't use that as an excuse for your marriage failing because half of them don't end in divorce. The majority succeed. It's just you've got these people out there having three, four, five, six, seven repeat offenders.

Sure. I forgot what I was talking about. Bill Burr. Bill Burr being neutered by his marriage, maybe? He definitely still keeps to his... He used to do the thing where he says something controversial, and you're like, oh man,

that was controversial. But he also said it in a very funny way now he's moving in a lot of ways to do that thing where you say something pretend controversial and then you play it off as though that's edgy like saying something you know like oh man like fucking truckers what a big group of idiots like just something that nobody will get offended by, that it'll be fine, and then you play it off like, I'm just kidding, I wouldn't actually do that. That kind of stuff I don't like as much, but I have a lot of faith in Bill Burr.

He's one of my favorite, he is my favorite comedian. I'm looking at a picture of me and Bill Burr, a picture of Melissa and Bill Burr, and then a signed copy of Let It Go, and you people are all the same. I'm a big fan of Bill Burr. I love Bill Burr, but it's definitely become palatable or noticeable over the past year and a half or so

that he is getting way less risque and controversial. And maybe that's just him having his opinions change. I don't know. But if he does get divorced, that will make for a very, very, very funny stand-up special. That'll be the best ever. It'll be the best of all time.

I've been listening to Jim and what's-his-name show a lot. Jim and Sam. I've been listening to much less Stern. I find myself turning Stern off a lot and going over to Jimmy's show. It's on just a couple stations higher. I went ahead and made it

the number one preset is stern number two set preset is stern second channel number three is jimmy now um so i've been listening to their stuff a lot what an honor i'm glad you're liking it jimmy is like the funniest he's the best person for the audio format and the whole radio style because he's the most he is not a he's a he's a worm he's a wormy guy he's like i hope you like a guy with a weak chin who blinks a lot yeah that's he makes fun of himself brilliantly and he also has the quickest wit of honestly i think anyone on the planet nobody quickest is i i listened to a lot of old ona stuff where it's like uh you know they had they would have huge comedians in all the time

like they'd have amy schumer in there it was like 2006 2005 like amy schumer joe rogan louis ck patrice o'neill god rest his soul bilber and of all of them they're all very funny comedians with the exception of amy schumer and jim norton is out like classing everyone as far as the speed and the consistency he doesn't just get a good one-liner every once in a while. He's got something for everything. And when he does a bit, like a character, like Boardroom Jimmy, if you've ever Googled YouTube Boardroom Jimmy,

it's Jim who knows nothing about finance, just using buzzwords and nonsense to pretend like he's a big stockbroker. It's not as funny as he is. Yeah, I like Boardroom Jimmy. It is hilarious insofar as how much he can do like improv is hard especially on something you don't know anything about and he does it for half an hour no problem and it's hilarious every step if you don't know about stock manipulation you don't even belong in the conversation you'll just go off the rails i like the pervert character he

does and more than the character itself uncle paul and more than uncle paul i Uncle Paul, and more than Uncle Paul, I like, and I know these are reruns, but I like how much Opie hates Uncle Paul. Because Opie's like, I got a kid, you can't be doing that. And then he starts, what's Opie's kid's name? I don't know. Let's say it's Jim. Let's say it's Matthew. He'll start doing, oh, that's your name.

I'm trying not to... You can use it, I'm fine. He's like, he starts doing the Uncle Paul character. He's like, oh, maybe I'll babysit Matthew and powder his bottom. You're going to come into the nursery and you're going to be like, Jimmy, what you got between the bars of the crib? Get that out of there. And little Matthew's going to be going at it like a gerbil on one of those water bottles. And it's just like, you're talking about his newborn son he did that to him he said like he doesn't say stuff like oh yeah i'm gonna go in

there i'm gonna i'm gonna you know slap your kid's ass or something like it is so horrible the things that he says as these characters there was one i remember vividly of him talking i guess about opie's children i didn't put the pieces together this was like at the right time that opie had kids where he's like yeah and i'm gonna babysit your kids and go in there and i'm gonna change his diapy i'm gonna i'm gonna pull it down and put my fingernails right between those sweet little ass cheeks and pull it apart and take a nice sniff nice sniff of that new asshole and like just saying horrible things about what you would do to a child if you were legitimately and an op has to sit there and be like all right onto the news no no that's not done yet that's the beginning of our evening and then opi will start trying to shame him he'll be you know uncle paul will be like

no because he'll be like in that state there's only it they have they don't it's two-party Surveillance laws, you know both parties have to be notified And the opi will be like it's a little disturbing that you know that I I don't are you doing research or is this just you? Now I don't even know he'll put you try to like shame him be like maybe maybe Jim's a real pedophile guys And he'll be like oh i do my research yeah he's like he'll just keep going with it and run it into the ground out of pretending to be a pedophile on the radio because he's been doing it for 15 years it's yeah and that's what's drawing me to that over stern because i like the the i like the outrageous I like the, and I'm getting real, real tired of the contrived

bullshit dramas that they have on the Stern show. I don't care that none of your staff gets along with each other. You've made it this competition now. I can clearly see from the outside looking in of everybody in the office now wants to tattletale on somebody for doing an odd thing so now we they can get on the air and like like just delve over it over and over about how like this guy doesn't wash his sheets that's literally a thing there was one of the guys who didn't wash his sheets and like for weeks we mocked him and made fun of him and like you know we're gonna test the sheets for anal spray and for semen and just mock him about this and they're always talking about this bullshit that doesn't matter.

And it's not funny. I hate the inner office drama of the Stern show. And I'm starting to hate Stern a little bit because of the political correctness. And, you know, he had that caller call in the other day. Yeah, I really don't care for it. I don't listen to Stern, but I thought he would be like a pioneer against that. He's going more mainstream because he wants to cement some sort of legacy as a great interviewer. You know, he's got that female producer who took Gary Delabate's position

and office. And, you know, without telling the audience a thing about it, Stern read her book, I think it's called Getting Things Done or Getting Stuff Done, and really bought into her like a guru and then hired her to basically run his show. And it's her show now. It's very politically correct in a lot of ways. And he'll try to spin that. Can you give an example here or there of something that you've noticed? We don't call Gary the retard Gary the retard anymore. He's Gary the champion.

Little things like that, what the Whack Packers are named, but also just not going there anymore. Not talking about aborted fetuses and not talking about, you know, not mocking people because of their race he used to oh he used to have a black voice he did so they're doing a thing where they pretend like they're being controversial but it's really not controversial at all and that bothers me at least i don't know that's not it it's it's that he's not being controversial anymore on purpose it's that

he's being politically correct he doesn't do his black voice he doesn't do his gay voice anymore he's not letting everybody have it with both barrels like something like South Park does. It's not that I'm a racist and that I get off on him mocking blacks or gays. It's that I'm okay with you mocking people from the South for half an hour. Every time a guy calls it from Tennessee and he tells you how much he loves you and how much it gets him through that truck drive, you go into mocking his accent, asking him if he fucks his cousin. So by the same regard, you better make fun of a black person, you better make fun of a gay person, or I'm not on board anymore. And that's what's been happening. That's unfortunate.

I'm not racist or sexist or misogynist or any of those things, but I do like comedy, and I do like a mean version of comedy where everybody gets their fair share. And when you start picking these groups who we can't mock, who we don't get to make funnies out of, who we can't lol at, then that's its own brand of racism. And it's not entertaining. And it's a little disgusting, especially coming from a show like that, where we vomit on people for fun. It's a really good racial conversation that's also really funny.

Go listen to old Oie and anthony clips of patrice o'neill and anthony kumia having discussions about race because they i don't it's it's their conversations that will never be able to be had again because they are brutally honest and both of them at every point will start like cracking up or love a joke at their own expense patrice o'neill would laugh at all of anthony's racist jokes and then anthony would laugh when patrice was ripping on white people like it was great and entertaining and kind of informative of giving you at least patrice's perspective on these matters and anthony's and they were very much disagreed but yeah i recommend

that i'm glad you're starting to enjoy a democracy you know we're headed back in that direction i hope so a less politically correct more, more funny kind of thing where we're more free with what we say. Because if we're all in the same family, we all speak a different way when we're at our living rooms, right? It'd be nice if we were open like that with our fellow Americans. I think that that sort of open, honest kind of conversation brings friends closer, family closer, and it could bring the country closer. If we could all laugh at our differences instead of making them something bad.

Recognize our differences and laugh at them when there's opportunity. I've said this before. I like political correctness to the extent that you're not being mean. But then there are other people who use political correctness as a weapon

to stop you from thinking or doing things, and that I hate. When some, I forget which campus it was, but they saw Trump written in chalk on the sidewalk, and they said it was hate speech. Horseshit. You are just, Obama spoke out against that. Obama was like, look, you know, if you can't listen to the other side, then you're not going to learn.

And I like that about him. So I'm just very frustrated by the people trying to shut it down. Milo, Milo Yiannopoulos. I think I got that pretty close. Yeah, that's good enough. And he was like, you know, he was talking to people in England. And he was saying, look, here we don't really talk about free speech. We don't think about it too much.

It starts beeping. Jesus. Anyway, here we don't talk about free speech because we don't have it. But in America, they do, and they care very much. And people are trying to shut down the things that you can and can't say. And it was just like, wow, you know, like I don't really know how our speech is free compared to England, for example. Like, wow, you know, like I don't really know how our speech is free compared to England, for example. But when you phrase the left's attempt at using political correctness to shut down and be a thought police, then it is an attack on free speech.

And it concerns me. They go too far. I want to be nice without shutting off the conversation. Yeah, I just don't think that with that you even have to invoke this concept of political correctness. It should just be a concept of don't be a dick. Like, there's a difference between... They're the thought police. Someone who says, you know, oh, the black community

it's not black, it's people of color! You know, that person is being an asshole. They're being overly sensitive dicks who are trying to shame you or silence you into just agreeing with them without any actual evidence because they don't have any evidence for why their position is superior in a lot of cases and some they do um and there's a difference between that and someone just saying you know the n-word to black people on the street just to be

mean that's not political incorrectness well it is political incorrectness but more than that i think it's just someone being a horrible mean person a mean spirited bad person Someone saying something that happens to coincide with the policy of yours and so you resort to racist sexist homophobe bigot That's not political career. That's what political correctness is That's not trying to keep someone from being a dick is trying to shame them into keeping their mouth shut and just towing the line Like that's that's what it's so easy to weaponize because you would say well pc's not that out of control we just need we're not getting rid of all speech just hate speech well we got to expand the definition of hate speech a little bit i mean it is true i mean what if someone speaks up in a sociology class at a university and people are

upset that's not very fair that's hateful i mean they do feel offended they do feel hurt therefore it is hateful they couldn't feel that way unless there was intent on the other side, obviously. Like that, it gets out of control so quickly. And the only thing that's saving it from completely taking over is that people who really ascribe to that set of beliefs eat their own. They eat their own because they will be kunky dory with someone. Oh, we're all good. We're all great. They eat their own because they will be kunky dory with someone. Oh, we're all good. We're all great. Just wait if Jon Stewart accidentally tweets something and he isn't up on the latest terminology. They will turn on him, swoop in, and as a way to show everybody around him ignore science and even prevent any research into environmental science and climate change and stuff like that.

I feel like the left does the same thing when it comes to something like transsexualism. I feel like they've completely shut down any research, any science. I don't think you can't question it. You can't look into it. You can't research it. You can't even ask the question. The DSM had to change their definition of it. They had to take it off of gender identity disorder. So maybe the conservatives have this willful ignorance about climate change,

but at the very least, the left has a willful ignorance about the science behind that. I feel like they're not even willing to look into it. They don't even want to know. No, it is. It just is because I feel it. Every side, they love science. Okay, well, we don't apply that same scientific technique to everything else.

You're always talking about climate change deniers and believe in science and let's teach them science. But science doesn't work when it comes to this they totally the science on their side both sides do republicans will be like hey the earth is 6 000 years old and you know uh dinosaurs walked around with men and it was a whole thing but also look at these studies that show how fracking actually isn't that bad look at all these scientific studies we did on this like It's like, okay, science is great there. And then on the left, you have liberals who are like, we're all about science,

all those idiots who don't believe in evolution. But we also have this problem now where all of gender, like we've been saying for 30 years, is due to social influences, and everyone's the same, and also that you can be born with the wrong brain, which is inherently contradictory to that you can't believe that gender is a social construct and believe that you can be born as the wrong gender because that's those are two inherently conflicting ideas they're conflicting but they

don't care because that's on their side they like the evolution science they like the climate change science they don't like that science the republicans do it i think even worse as far as religious not even i think definitely they do it worse as far as religious not even i think definitely they do it worse as far as religious stuff um i'm sure they do it worse as well with energy stuff where they are very happy to say this study that we kind of commissioned really reflects well on us but also velociraptors are a myth like so changing topic pretty pretty much um i've been watching this show on Netflix called Raising Hope. And it's a Fox sitcom about a very, very poor family that is made up of a senile,

great, great grandmother, her granddaughter, who got pregnant in high school, and her husband, who was her high school sweetheart. They're like 30 and and their grandparents because their son had a daughter with a serial killer who then went to the electric chair so you got like four or five generations of stupid poor people living in a house together um that show is pretty funny especially the first season or two um oh i forgot where i was going with this there was something about the show that that was um what were we just talking about we're talking about um shit we're talking about science raising hope there was something on the show that was that was relevant to that conversation hmm well i just completely fucking lost it raising hopes a funny show you won't check

that on netflix though i'll think of what I wanted to say later. Let me squeeze an ad read in here. Maybe that'll help me remember what I wanted to say. I'd like to tell everyone about a smart way to earn extra money and get an extra $500 bonus while driving for Lyft. Looking to put more money in your kid's college fund or going back to school yourself to get another degree or your first one, maybe?

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been lightened? Are you lifted by that? Because if I say there's a haze in my world because Trump won, that's an exaggeration. Really, I got a new paramotor, and that impacts my life far more than Trump victory. I'm out there fucking with it all the time. Right now, I'm like, I've got a better way to route the reserve chute bridle. It's dominating my thoughts. It's not number one on your mind it's not but but how is

the Trump thing impacting you lifted by it some extent um seems Melissa and I were kind of on the same page watching it as it was happening where we were both kind of reassuring each other like oh there's no way he'll win no way kind of helping because she's a Blues fan now as well and so i've taught her to temper expectations with everything smart and yes very smart and just as it was going though it i felt good in that like yeah it was it's indicative enough that the average american out there they a lot of them can see through the bullshit a lot of them can see through the media nonsense um they i i was convinced for a long time i'm like man the average american is probably not that bright and they'll just eat up whatever cnn msnbc

mainstream media feeds them and seeing like a real outcry of people being like no we're first of all we're tired we're a bunch of white um non-college educated guys are like we're we're nobody has addressed us in eight years um this is this is bullshit and vote for trump trump was full of shit trump set records for being full of shitness that's uh it's an informal metric but i mean like he would just say shit on both sides of everything that was the beauty of trump trump like if you have a bucket of what you want your candidate to be trump is water that will just flow to any shape of what i'm talking about more is the bullshit not of the the bullshit of the whole machine so the bullshit with trump is he is he shouldn't be president he's like i don't think like he's

he lies about the policies to do well they all do that to be fair um they all lie on things but the point i'm trying this isn't a defense of trump it's a condemnation of hillary clinton the media machine uh the elites in dc it's comforting to see that this entire machine, this well-oiled machine of victory that Hillary had running around her, the best and brightest people in DC trying to finagle her into the White House. Oh, we gotta make sure we can hide this, and oh, we're

in contact with the media to make sure they don't report that, and we gotta make sure we hit this big. This story will be big. It's gonna help there. Talk to your contact over at MSNBC. Oh, they just sent me a story from Vox asking if I can fucking run run it because that's what journalists do ask the clinton campaign if they can run shit apparently and just knowing that people saw through that and they were like no fuck you this whole system behind you we still say no we're still so upset at this that we are picking that guy we're picking that guy because that's how fucking bad you are that's how much we

don't trust you that you have have not even our best interest, any interest of us at all other than our vote. And, of course, Trump isn't this beacon of – he's only perceived as this beacon of hope by a lot of people because of the fact that Hillary Clinton and this gigantic collusionary machine was working to get her elected. And him, he really did do it in spite of that machine working against him and that kind of was uplifting and like okay

at least i know the whole all of america isn't you know brainwashed into this and by the way i'm not saying that if you voted for hillary that you are brainwashed because there are equally there are valid reasons to vote for hillary clinton over donald trump that's true just like i believe there are valid reasons to have voted donald trump over hillary clinton it's not a condemnation saying that if you voted for her you're some rube i'm not saying that as you express your frustration with hillary and the machine and stuff i line up with a lot of it the difference is i didn't see trump as the solution to it and i understand that and i respect that decision i don't think um i don't respect it as much as if you had voted trump obviously because i voted for him that's intrinsic fair enough like i think that he is the lesser of two evils he was

the better choice i think but i also it's not such a giant chasm between them that it's completely blowing my mind like what you voted against the host of the apprentice like of course that's understandable it's, more than anything I feel, it's not even, I guess this would have been a better way to articulate it off the start, is that my spirits are more lifted by the fact that this is over than it is by the outcome.

The outcome definitely lifted my spirits just because Hillary isn't in office and seeing that corrupt, awful woman who has used her position in power to try and finagle that presidency because she deserves it. I should be up by 50 points. It's my turn. God damn it.

I have a vagina. You know, seeing her not get what she wants was good. But the biggest uplifting spirit, you know, was just that it's not. It's over. It's finally over. Like, that's just it's only just begun. Good. Yeah. over like that just it's only just begun girl yeah now only a whole new world of stress starts with oh now the fun starts now the fun starts when he starts doing things and we're all shocked i hope he does things that that are different i hope this is a different kind of presidency

i hope it's not just he puts a cabinet together and it's business as usual. I don't know exactly what I want him to do, but I want it to be good for us. I don't want bad things for us. My hope is that he actually does renegotiate some of these trade deals to our benefit. My prediction is he hires business as usual people, puts them in cabinet positions, and they convince him that that's what's what he wants and then he just sort of hands off and he takes the fame and everyone else does the stuff you might be right i think i think he's probably a control freak in a lot of ways like i think he's the kind of guy who probably wants to be in control of all the things i think he's a delegate i have the opposite opinion of you i could be wrong wrong. We'll find out.

Maybe I'm totally wrong. I was just making an assumption that he seems like the kind of guy who won't have his hand in the cookie jar. But, yeah, you could be right. I really don't think – I think that he is as surprised as everyone else that he won the election. And he – not for a minute throughout this entire thing, did he in his heart, if someone had kidnapped Donald Trump and held a gun to his head in like, I don't know, four days ago and said, answer honestly. Do you think you will win this presidential election? Answer honestly or I'll fucking kill you and your family. You'd go, no, of course not.

Of course not. Do you finally need me to say it? Of course I'm not going to win. I've donated to the Clintons eight years ago. They asked me to run. You know, I'm not going to win. Like, they didn't ask him to run i'm just that would be a funny maybe they do it that oh man this is gonna be a great comedy movie once enough time has passed that people aren't butthurt about it that a very unpopular politician that's really ambitious is going to get one of her friends to be the competition but then to both of their dismay

he's going out there saying ridiculous shit trying to get people to dislike him and then he ends up winning. The ringer. That'd be good. It would be called Trump. Trumped. Yeah, Trumped.

What would the poster be? It'd just be a silhouette of an orange face. That's it just be a silhouette of an orange face. That's it. Just a silhouette of an orange face. I think he's toned that down. He looked good today, if Donald Trump can look good sitting next to Obama. He looked as good as he looks.

But I'm certain that during the course of the campaign, from primaries to the end, he went from doing his own makeup to having a pro handle it. Or learning from a pro or something. He definitely is not doing his own. I think he was in charge of it early on. And maybe he hired that guy. And he's like, yeah, Jimmy from The Apprentice. He always does my makeup.

And they were like, Donald, normally on The Apprentice, we'd light you with the same team that does your makeup. This time around, we got NBC and CNN shining some bright-ass lights on you to make you look bad. We got to do something about this. Your eyes are white, and the rest of you is orange. He stops doing his makeup by a bag, so it's clear to see. From the eyebrow to the bag area, he doesn't his makeup by a bag so it's clear to see like from the eyebrow

to the to the bag area he doesn't put makeup on there it burns is that it's alcohol-based so so yeah i've had it it when they put it on me they just put it on my fucking eyes and it does burn but it's alcohol-based when they're spraying that stuff on with an airbrush and so it immediately like evaporates off it burns and especially if you're doing it day and day and day day in day out you know i i would just i just got sprayed for like one day shoot or like a three-day thing and even afterwards i'd be like dang where they had that stupid fake scar like i've got like you know the skin is peeling off now because if you put this fake scar on the same spot day after day and it's it's glue um yeah that

is but the alcohol-based spray stuff burned around my the corners of my eyes and stuff maybe that's why i don't know i had a um a different experience with makeup it was glorious like there were two parts of it that i loved one just that the makeup the brushes they use like i hadn't really worn makeup in my life and it's so soft it's like a pleasure to be touched by it they hit me with an airbrush machine and it's just like lovingly little on you and i'm just like oh i really i don't think i'd like putting on makeup i liked being babied by made up makeup yeah like there was just something like gentle loving i don't know what to call it but like it's an enjoyable experience to be made up you're a happily

married man but uh pretty soon into the makeup process i always fall in love with my makeup artist i'm always like yeah she lacks me a lot look at how she touches my face she's over there like next no i had the opposite feeling this way to the guy before do his eye makeup like this the monologue in my head is she sees every flaw oh yeah she doesn't like that about me she said she's fixing it right she noticed the pimple right i guess i thought my i really liked my makeup artist on that that last thing i did in la uh she was about she was my age exactly uh and she was blonde and uh and i liked her a lot i liked her a lot um and i was talking to her every day uh i really liked her a lot um but like yeah every day you know we're going in there she's like

you're ready and and you know you were talking about maybe like her she sees this floor sees that floor she was always like complimenting me she She's like, oh, this is nice here. Yeah, this feels in well. Looking good. All right, yeah. Oh, look how real it looks. And it was fun. I enjoyed that process. I always do.

I never had makeup put on me by some professional. There were a lot of girls also having their makeup done and stuff. And they seem to have things to add and expertise. And they have been made up before. Because some of them have been in movies and stuff and you had nothing to add yeah i'm just fucking i don't know enjoying looks good just sitting quiet oh this is really nice you seem nice so i like that it's always nice when you have someone whose job seems to be just some one little avenue of your comfort it's a I always feel a little uncomfortable at first,

and I'm like, look, I don't need that. But then I start thinking about it, and it's like, wait a minute, that's their job. Telling them I don't need them is kind of an insult. It'd be like me telling the guy who's over there, like, you know, flying the plane or whatever, hey, I know you think you're doing a big job, but the autopilot could get us there.

Why don't you come sit back here with us? Take a load off. He'd be like, this is my job. I've trained for 25 years. And in the same regard, the girl who wants to come over there and rub suntan lotion on me, and I'm just like, you can just give me the bottle.

And she's just like, nope. Come here. This is a union job. Only I can handle this. Yeah, exactly. I don't have any good makeup tales, sorry. You should. You've been made up several

times by your girlfriend. I think that having a bunch of latex and sticky, awful Halloween makeup put all over me is a little different than having someone gingerly put you know, beautifying

makeup on me. That bald cap was so uncomfortable because your hair is mushed down and you'll get an itch and you cannot scratch it. You can't because there's a latex bald cap on. What if you scratch through it and ruin all that work because that thing's glued to your face

and stuff. It's a whole thing. It was horrible. As i was sitting because i did it right before pka i was sitting there for like two hours just upset by it because i hate sitting still for that long and just the feeling of stickiness and like residue and that's that like uh that stringy like when you peel that like plastic off of uh like a new computer a new electronic like that, like little residue there. That's all over your face. It's there for days. I have a lot of hair on my body. And so it's just sticking in my hair.

It was in my beard. It was on the back of my neck. The back of my neck. It was just awful. It felt like someone just drip hot glue all over it all night. I hated that. That's not pleasant. No, it's not.

But I'm sure that That's not pleasant. No, it's not. But I'm sure your way sounds fun. Have a professional put makeup on me, make me look cute. Man, I could use some color, especially with the way I do my lighting, which is just to – I could have leprosy, and I'm so overexposed you'd have no idea. Like the red blotches all over my skin. My lighting right now is on point. I don't know if you guys noticed.

I've been looking at me all night. I am fantastic. What happened is, remember the PKN night where I had to shake Skype all night long so that you guys didn't freeze? Maybe it was more memorable for me than you. Well, it's turned out that I have to change it now. Now Skype is on some other monitor, and I'm watching you on OBS.

And because of that, I have the red PKA background, which really just makes me glow. I have pretty much red lighting coming from this monitor and I like what it does for me. I don't look this good in the summer. It is November.

I have no tan left and I look like this. We're not changing a thing about this. If it starts working again, I'm doing it this way still i'm awful pale right now i have me too doesn't look like it does it but i'm fucking pale with red lights shining at me and i love it love it this is i'm i'm always i remember one time i took my pale ass to the uh the tanning bed i was going to this gym and i had the membership

and everything and tanning came along with the gym membership it was like hey, hey, you want to tan? You tan. It was free. It was included with the gym membership. I was like, well, shit, it's right here. I can work out. I'm not judging you. You don't have to justify it. I'm not embarrassed by it. I'm just explaining. I'd work out and then I'd tan

and then just one shower. It seemed a great idea. I remember I got in there and I was in there for maybe seven, nine minutes or something and my ass cheeks, it turned out, were the part of my body that had never been exposed to UV radiation and just my ass cheeks

burnt. I think I put a sock on my dick. You have to put your dick away. So just my ass cheeks were so red at the time we're in the lobby i was turns out barnes and noble mcdonald's all the same policy please sir put your dick away sorry i came out of there i came out of there and and the girl who had like i had bought the tan

from i was like my ass is burnt. And she's like, hee hee hee hee. I'm like, no, no, really, look at this. And I showed her a little, and she's like, pull that down. And I showed her half my ass cheek, and she was like, Donna. Donna. And Donna comes over. And Donna is as brown as a black man.

And she's like, damn. Oh, honey, you didn't put any goo on or whatever she said i should have put on first and i'm like i was only in there for seven minutes she's like that's gonna hurt for a while and sure enough the whole ride home i was like on my console like trying to keep the weight off my ass cheeks because they hurt so much i slept on my stomach that night i put that that blue aloe vera gel on my ass. It hurt so much. Then you had to watch TV laying on your stomach because you couldn't sit down with all the

goop on your ass. And it didn't tan. It's not like my ass turned brown the next day. It just turned real red and hurt like the dickens. I just go straight to red and then peel and then back to pale. When I was 15-ish, maybe, I got into cycling, like riding my bike. And my father liked it too.

And he was always like the bigger, stronger guy. And somewhere around that age, I passed him. And we had one day where we rode our bike like 140 miles. And that was the day that I like athletically passed my father. Anyway, on the way home for like the last i don't know 70 miles or something i took my shirt off so this is um you know for it's like a like a tour de france style bike you know i'm leaning forward and whatever the sun just beat on my back oh so i got home and it's burnt and i'm'm like, yeah, it hurts. It hurts. Over the next couple days, like, I was probably 80% covered with blisters on my back.

And some of them, like, a centimeter thick. Like, big, bad ones. And at one point, something happened. Like, I just got hit. And the skin all tore and started leaking. And, like, the pain was full. You know, whatever the maximum amount the pain was full, you know, whatever the maximum amount of pain skin can make.

All of it. Maxed it out. And like a burn would not have been anywhere. I guess it was a burn, but you know, like a fire burn would not have hurt anymore. I felt all the pain. It was,

it was really bad. And it took like 10 days to stop hurting. Like it was ages. Yeah. I've, I've seen girls that like that would like ride a motorcycle on the you know like double you know and that for that leaning forward your shirt comes up and so like your lower back gets burnt really bad um yeah i hate some trend

stamp it's like the tramp yeah a little bit i uh i haven't gotten sunburned uh in a while real bad like i always forget to put sunscreen on where we're going to be outside all day. I try to do my best to throw a can in the car and really put some SPF 70 on or something and just do it all day because I burn. I burn out. I can't even remember the last time

I put on any sunblock at all. I usually just, I always realize eight hours into whatever vacation I go on, it's like, well, I'm already so fucking burned. At this point, I'm just, I always realize like eight hours into whatever vacation I go on, it's like, well, I'm already so fucking burned. At this point, I'd really just be mulching over ground that I already missed. So whatever. Like I'll just bring an umbrella wherever I go. Every so often you can tell Taylor has some farmer in him, right?

You know, like every so often I'm mulching over the ground and the weeds or some fucking thing. I don't know. My father was an accountant. I don't really understand your mulch talk. Lots of mulch folk in Missouri. Mulch is one of our biggest exports.

Trump went to Missouri. I saw that. I watched that come in. It's Trump. Oh, yeah. They were pretending Missouri was going to be a flip state the whole time, and I actually believed it. Like, man, is Missouri going to go blue? And then not even close. Sweeping victory

for every single Republican on the ticket. Oh, that was the thing. And no higher taxes for cigarettes. I noticed that one of the things that they were saying was, Trump had coattails. Trump brought along the rest of his Republicans despite the fact that they wouldn't work with him or work for him. He brought them along anyway on the ticket.

And so now we've got the executive branch, the legislative branch, and soon to be the judicial branch will all be Republican. Our new governor, Eric Greitens, is like a guy who rode those coattails. His campaign ad, what got me to end up voting for him, he's an ex-Navy SEAL, like good-looking, looks like a military white guy. Was he the guy with the minigun? Yes, his entire first ad was him sitting in a minigun in some Missouri field just shooting around, and it's like slow missouri field just shooting around and it's like slow-mo of the bullets and it's just like overlay of like corruption you know uh the

establishment liberals uh we need more guns uh vote rightens you know and it was like a really intense like cool ad of just a guy really not making a lot of points just more like look at look at this big ass gun look look at my gun and tell me you don't want to vote for me and he won by a huge amount there was a democrat who was pro-gun and i think i have the story right tell me if you guys know better and um he did this cool ad where i think he disassembled and reassembled an M16, AR-15 blindfolded. Did you guys see this ad? I didn't.

Oh, it was really cool. And he did it with proficiency that I couldn't match. I don't want to talk to you. I don't know. I was going to say, Kyle can do this thing. With a blindfold on? But blindfolded? Yeah.

And apparently this guy is ex-military, and he's basically, the ad i took away from it was i'm a democrat but i like guns and i'm pretty good with them and uh he's still lost but yeah because that's not a good issue for his the people who like the republicans are gonna be like oh that's neat that he likes guns too i'm still gonna pick the other guy who's a who i know loves guns like yeah i would vote for a guy like that because guns are one of the main issues that the where the democrats lose me um that that's where you're losing me guys that and your social justice warrior bullshit you know like like uh if we can all be equals and i can have my guns i'm on board

with that ticket pretty much you know i i just want to be left alone the social justice stuff and so i hate it as much as anybody i know um But I feel like it's not our politicians do it. I don't feel like Obama's – Obama beats those guys down. Bill Maher beats those guys down. Hillary Clinton, I didn't see her propping up social justice stuff. Bernie Sanders might love him and swim in his sea of social justice. Well, no, she definitely did. One of the key things of a social justice warrior is that they are lightning quick to respond to any criticism, any critique with racist sex is bigot, homophobe, all the isms, all the ists, you're a bad person, shut up. And she did that multiple times.

She called people – she called all of Trump's – or many Trump supporters racist. Another thing she did is she – they'd ask her a question and she'd be like i'm a girl or i'm a woman you know is there any bigger outsider than me a woman you know it's not even pc culture as much well yeah i guess it is i guess that's the best way to put it never mind never mind yeah maybe she's more guilty than i gave her credit for i just in my head though like the the democratic leadership isn't doing that it's just there's a wing of them that are crazy town and there's a wing of crazy town republicans without of course that they all do but there there is it's definitely pushed by that side

it's that side that enables it when you know a bunch of supporters of a politician on you know from hillary clinton are screaming at rallies that people are racists and rapists or whatever. It's it's fine. People aren't upset by it. You know, people are upset by it, but the media doesn't care. But it's just a profound double standard that people are really tired of. And I think that's obviously reflected in how people voted. He won.

He won. He won. I hope he got the popular vote. I hope he got the popular vote because we'll see i do too projected it but we'll see i mean i didn't want him to be president but i really don't want a president that lost the popular vote again you know what i wanted to i want a little taste of vengeance i want uh the next time that someone that the the left is bucking up against him in congress or wherever i wanted to him to pull that line that Obama pulled out way back.

Hey, I won. And remember when he said, I got a pen and I got a telephone. I want some stuff like that. I want him to rub it in their face a little. When they're like, well, we're not going along. I won. Get over it. I'm in charge now. I want a little bit of that because he did win fair and square you know there's

no bullshit about this it does feel a little better if he gets the popular vote but it doesn't matter like you said like Clinton can go rule fantasy land with gore with her popular vote you know like like I'm sure that's a wonderful place um but that ain't where we live yeah I want to change the rules I think that I think that for America. I'm down with that too. I think it'd be good for the world. But yeah, he won. The thing about Obama saying that, that was I felt like they challenged

whether he won a whole lot more. They challenged whether he was even American and where he was born. And a lot of, I don't know. We'll see what they keep, if they, I think the Trump protests died down in a day or two. We can all blame this on Seth Meyers, of course.

Seth Meyers, what'd he do? Seth Meyers mocked Obama, or mocked Trump at the White House Correspondents Dinner back in 2012. I was reading the whole thing about this today about someone else was making this point. Everyone laughed at him.

He's a billionaire. He's beautiful wife he's powerful he's rich he's famous but here are his contemporaries laughing in his face in a public way billionaires are laughing at and celebrities are laughing at him politicians are laughing at him average Joe is laughing at him every joke is just just rubbing in his, and his face is just fury. He did not take it well. He's thin-skinned. Fury. He didn't chuckle. He did not like it one bit. And I think that that was when, and the guy on Reddit thought, that that was when it all started. He was like, all right, we'll see about this. And that started his little path to the

White House. Now, whether or not he thought he'd get there, whether or not he thought that just going out there and competing would be enough to get the respect that he thought he deserved, who knows? You really got to believe that he didn't think he was going to be president. It happened, and it's real, but it does blow me away that Donald Trump is on the same list as Lincoln, Washington, FDR, Truman, like...

But also guys like Taft. That's the list, you know? It's incredible. He's the 45th person on that list, and that will never change. I have seen people talk about having to pinch themselves to believe it's real. There were a couple times last night, I didn't pinch myself, but I'm watching this and I'm like, is this real? How can this be real?

It doesn't feel real. It feels like, you know, aliens have came or a meteor just hit Europe. This seems like some shit that, yeah, it's possible, but God, that ain't going to happen this century or even next century. Maybe in 10,000 years a meteor will hit Europe and destroy it but not now but fucking donald trump won tuesday and he is the president of the united states for four more years and it is just incredible it's it's wild i really heard the republicans put someone better up in four years but i really don't think they will because that's that's a guaranteed way to lose an election is be like, hey, all those people who liked Trump

were also nominating Paul Ryan and then Trump's going to go, I'm 74, fuck you I'm running in the Trump party you want to cheat me enjoy your loss, idiot I'll be dead in six months is Trump going to run? I think there's a real chance

that he'll just run once I'm not saying I predict well i will see i i think there's a real he suggested that he'll just run once i think you think no i'm not saying i predict but i like with most presidents it's a lock they're trying to get eight years trump might not try to get eight years he suggested it um he said you know over the next uh coming days and over the next four years and hey maybe over the next eight years we're gonna be making a lot of changes we're gonna be you know and he went on to move the spiel so he did throw that out there but i'm with you you know we're like all the bad things that make them good we're gonna take all the good things

and we're gonna make them great like they used to be yeah i like that you know what the fact that trump won the presidency means that maybe, just maybe, on this show, I haven't fucked over my own chances of being president. You know, if the nation can overlook grandma by the pussy, they can overlook vaginas are built for sex. Yeah. Yeah, the built for rape and the – I actually know Robin Williams. That might be your undoing because people like robin williams yeah donald trump never said anything about robin williams yeah that's true rosie o'donnell isn't

quite as beloved as as uh as he is rosie oh you know i always got rose rose uh rosie o'donnell and rosanne barr mixed up just because i just like they're both heavier white brunette comedians i didn't watch their comedies really but i just assumed they were i heavier white women. Bad brunette comedians. I didn't watch their comedies really, but I just assumed they were, I assumed I kind of lumped them together. Like, I'm sure they both are kind of in that same, you know, pro-Hillary kind of camp. I followed Roseanne Barr on Twitter

like a month ago. She is she was so deep into the Trump train that I couldn't believe it. she was so pro-trump every fucking 45 seconds roseanne bar is tweeting something poorly uh bad grammar and spelling and then like an old meme about how hillary is satan or like roseanne is tweeting pictures of like that you know that skull head that they showed like the podesta you know that that lady

that creepy spirit cooking skullhead like photoshop pictures of like Hillary like licking blood from like just crazy nonsense it's like this is Roseanne Barr she must I don't who what did Hillary Clinton do to her Roseanne is a very smart lady very business savvy and very hardworking

and she's conservative it seems you know she was living it she was extremely poor extremely poor as poor as her Roseanne character was and then she just said you know she's she was living in she was extremely poor uh extremely poor as poor as her rosanne character was and then she just said you know what i'm gonna be a stand-up comedian and she just did it and then she said uh and then they gave her a show and she was like i won't control this show that this is they're gonna be the rosanne show they're like well i guess and then she she was the complete show boss over there until tom arnold got involved um i i got a lot of respect for rosanne as a businesswoman and as a hard got involved um i i got a lot of respect for

roseanne as a businesswoman and as a hard worker uh i i've seen a lot of stuff about her now she got crazy uh and she is yeah i didn't know about any of that i'm just saying that she is uh she's an entertaining follow on twitter there you go oh i also uh this guy bill mitchell who was like one of the guys i was following from like the far right just like i followed like a sally cone or whoever on the left to see what they're both saying he was the one the entire election going these polls are bullshit it says it's democratic plus 10 they're undersampling independence and ascribing their uh votes less evenly than what it should be this is bullshit this is rigged and a couple times throughout the campaign i tweeted at him making fun of him that he was going to be like oh i don't know what i said exactly but like dude you're going to be

backing down from this so hard suddenly it's all going to be still rigged and you're going to be saying oh now it's the beginning of our revolution like the bernie people said because you know that now this is your job being on the trump train so you have to keep your job going that's how you're making money and selling books and shit and i just just kind of said that to him, and I tweeted an apology right after the election as he was tweeting, like, yep, Pennsylvania did exactly what I

said it would do. All of these states are doing exactly what I said it would do. And it was like, this is crazy that this guy was like, he was wrong about some polls because a lot of the polls were right. Not every poll was wrong, just a lot of very, very very very important swing state polls you know the ones that there's an incentive to buy bias are wrong but that i couldn't believe it i i look at i looked every time that guy's tweet would pop up i'd always be like oh what's he gonna say now but he ended up

yes i like anything thug life i'll watch absolutely i'm cute at zero I hope it's the one I think oh stop it who's playing well it auto play I got it I'm paused all right the queue up at zero I need to fix your cameras but ready set play so much shit to you on Twitter and you never blocked me and now I'm a fan who's michael bisping fighter ufc fighter and somehow that's like in my head what it's like when you meet this guy like hey i treated so much shit to you and it turns out you're great kiss my ass that's great let's talk ufc one UFC 205 or whatever it is, 205. You want to hear something that not a lot of people know? Eddie Alvarez is going to win, baby.

Eddie Alvarez is going to kick Conor McGregor's ass. Why does no one know that but you? Because Conor McGregor is – you don't make a lot of money betting against Conor McGregor, but this time Eddie Alvarez eats Southpaws for lunch, baby. Really? So you think maybe – maybe what about the betting line is do you think you've got some some expertise here and maybe you could make a little little scratch betting betting Eddie Alvarez to thing is if I do that I might

lose it so I don't I've never bet on a UFC fight there are a few things that sometimes I'm like this is such a slam dunk it makes fun have you ever bet on a UFC fight. There are a few things that sometimes I'm like, this is such a slam dunk. Have you ever bet on a sporting event and then watched it? I know you don't gamble. I was thinking of betting 10 grand because I was like, dude, why are people even still taking money for this? It's so obvious how this is going to come out. And then Hillary lost.

I swear to God, I was thinking that too. I thought the exact same shit. i'm so glad i didn't do anything i was like i was driving around and i was like i don't care what the line is five grand on hillary seems fucking smart it just seems fucking smart like maybe i should just do that maybe i should i'm so glad i didn't do that yeah dude there are guaranteed a ton of people out there who put who lost a ton of money on this. So a guy who won, he won like $30,000. He posted his little receipt on Reddit.

He bet $8,000 on – it looked like he had bet $8,000 on Trump to win, and he was taking out like $32,500 or something. That's pretty awesome. Yeah, good for him. Yeah, no, I don't bet because I find that the sting of defeat is worse than the taste of victory. Nothing crazy, certainly not $10,000, but I guarantee that if you put $100, which is just barely more than the cost of the event itself to watch it, on Eddie Alvarez, watching the fight is just more fun. It's just more fun.

You got a little something in the game. I know there have been football games and Super Bowls that I just didn't have a guy in the fight is just more fun it's just more fun you got a little you got a little uh little something in the game i know like there have been football games and super bowls that i just didn't have a guy in the fight you know i don't care about new england i don't care about the eagles those aren't my teams but the falcons aren't in there so like putting a hundred bucks on the patriots or a hundred bucks on the giants always makes that a more enjoyable i don't care if i win a hundred dollars and i don't care if i lose a hundred dollars like it For me to get the kind of thrill that you're talking about, God, I sound like an asshole, but it would have to be something that stings or means something. Now, I've been wanting to bet things that aren't monetary.

If you recall, just the other night, Taylor, who owes me $20 because he thought Clinton would win. I tried to get him to bet me. I was like, if you're giving away money! That's what I was thinking. Trump had already won Wisconsin and Michigan and Taylor's still taking bets.

I was like, I'll take it. It looked to us like it had. Us looking at counties and stuff, as far as I was concerned, he'd won them. But I was like, I told Taylor I kind of had a similar thing. I was like, I don't really need 20 more dollars. I didn't say it. I didn't want to sound like an asshole.

Right, who would say that? I was just thinking of the lowest amount of money you can bet where it's not like, hey, I'll bet you three bucks. It's just something ridiculous. Cheers, that was me five. So I was like, I really don't want you to 20. I want you to drink titty milk. And he was like,

no, absolutely not. I will not drink another human being's bodily fluids. And I'm just... We had a whole conversation like, but it's food. I don't understand. I don't think that it's in any way cheating or

dubious in that regard at all. It's just, I don't understand why the cheating topic ever even got brought up. Because clearly the gross part about this is drinking some stranger's tit milk. I knew my wife. Not to me, bro. Not to me. If I could buy it at the store, I would.

No, I would not. Dude, it's way less gross than cow milk. No, they keep those cows under control. No, they don't. Yeah, they do. What do you mean control? Did you see the diet of those women on that website? They're vegan.

Even worse, probably shitty milk. Probably weak milk for weak babies. You're a grown man. You don't need power milk. I don't need power milk, but if it were power milk, maybe I'd do it. Come on, it'll help with your language skills and

get you crawling faster, I hear. I'm totally down to drink that stuff. I think it would be so funny as a bit if all of us had some. Chiz said he will come on the show and drink it, I think. I know he said he'll drink it. He would not come on the show. That's why I say, I know he said he's drinking.

Movie night tradition now. Every Thursday, another movie. Chiz's excuses are always so funny. It'll be like let's call it Monday night, and Taylor and I will be like, hey, do you want to play some Civilization with us tonight? And he'll be like, oh, I got a stream to do

on Wednesday night, and I really need to be setting my computer up for that. This is not a joke. This is an actual excuse that he gave. That's literally what happened. He was like, no, tomorrow night, or maybe it was the night after, I've got a stream to do, and so I've got to set stuff up. Can't play

tonight. It was that he had a stream like 60 hours from now. And so I have to get set up for that. It's like, Chiz, what in God's name are you talking about just come play call of duty with us like it's gonna be fine you'll you'll get your stream set up are you busy in that situation you would just say no thanks you'd say no thank you and we'd say okay see how that conversation goes i guess woody doesn't want to play

not oh man but i have to go oil my paramotor hinge and I have to go grease the wheels on my lawnmower fleet. No, you don't need to make stuff up. You just say no. No, thank you is good. I like the thank you. Yes, it's gracious. Yeah, so while he did say that he would drink the titty milk, I don't know that he would come on the show and drink it, but I think it would be so funny to drink it. I would make chocolate milk out of it, put some – what do you call that stuff? That Nestle Quick in there.

Yeah, yeah. Ovaltine I think is more of a northern thing. I only ever heard of Ovaltine because of Jerry Seinfeld. It was always Nest Quick for us. If you're looking at it from the top down, it's the oval little container of chocolate container yeah we had yeah yeah i've got these uh these these old home videos of me when i'm like three years old or something like that and i'm like sitting on the countertop with a thing of nest quick and i've gotten into it with like a spoon and i put a whole spoonful of powdered chocolate in my mouth and i'm just like dude i look forward to like every

season i look forward to fall i enjoy the fall i i i will say i had a little i had more than my fill of summer this summer but yeah fuck summer i i right now i'm almost excited i'm like yeah i'm gonna do summer better this year it's gonna be great it's gonna be wonderful but when it was like 100 for like 15 days in a row or not even it doesn't have to be 100 it could gonna be wonderful but when it was like a hundred for like 15 days in a row or not even it doesn't have to be a hundred it could be 87 and feel like 106 or something impressive it was too much for me it was too much for me and then one thing i talked about this before it set me the fuck off when some guy was like what do you look better in your vlogs if you wore a shirt like this and it was a red and black flannel shirt like I wore in my Halloween costume a year and a half ago.

Yeah. Dude, it's 100 every day. Do you want me to wear flannel? I tell you what I think you would enjoy is some of the moisture wicking technology shirts. There's two different kinds. There's one that's such thin material that it makes everyone look like they've got man boobs. I don't like that. It's thin, it's so thin that the material like cups under any kind of cleavage that you've got. And I don't care for that, but then there's another kind of dry fit stuff that's, it feels like regular shirt, but it really wicks the moisture away.

I think it may be haynes makes it or something like that but they're like normal t-shirts that keep you dry and cool i sewed a uh i sewed just a shirt together out of some beyondies that i ordered works great oh wow it's the modal yeah i think i got out of like birchwood bark or something sometimes i find like a piece of clothing that i like and i'm like all right we going to need 18 of these you know I did that with my socks my socks was like 28 pairs of socks I was just like fuck it we're throwing away all the socks all those

whites that are mostly similar but nearly impossible to match no apocalypse it's sockpocalypse and we just got rid of all of them we got in 24-28 pairs of socks something like that. And now they just match easily and it's better.

I have a dream that someday I will be able to empty out my dryer and not have to pair a single sock because they're all the same. Do it. They're all the same. Do it. But there are times where I need other socks. I have. I actually have two kinds of socks right now. There's some taller ones I like wearing under boots.

They're just for winter, more or less. And then I have the ankle-high ones that I wear all summer. I wear shoes a lot. I have thousands of these black ankle socks. Do you see that sock store? Oh, it's just a regular ankle sock. Ah, yeah, mine's slightly taller. Yeah, very low.

I like it like that. And other than that, it's just like those goofy colored work socks, like business socks. I don't mind those because those are very easy to pair. So when I do have to buy like professional socks, I get like crazy ones where it's like, oh, the one with the, you know, guy shaking the maracas on it. Okay, that goes with the other fucking guy shaking the maracas. As opposed to like, what kind of lattice work is that? If all your socks had maraca shakers.

No, then you don't even have to pair. Yeah, that's our life. We have a standard if we find a sock I'm sorry, Kyle, if you can't get it, that is not like fitting with the standard. It is ousted. I don't know how it survived this long. It's not allowed to be here. i like my winter

socks um i've got lots of really nice wool socks and like ski socks and stuff that just feel nice on your feet and keep you cold speaking of that i think i'm gonna go to colorado for thanksgiving uh i don't know if yeah i think it'd be fun uh same place as you were last time maybe i was talking about chis about that the other day he He's like, we should go back to Colorado sometime. I'm down. I had a great time last time. Either of you want to come? I think it'd be fun. For Thanksgiving, man. Not necessarily.

I don't care. Thanksgiving isn't a thing for me, really. As a kid, most of the holidays stopped when I became an adult. It was important to get the family together and have a turkey, but not no longer. So, like, you know, I just don't care. So I know that doesn't apply to anyone and everyone. But basically, I'd like to go to Colorado where it's cold and real winter with snow because we don't get that here in Georgia.

Certainly not like in Colorado. It's like, for me, it's just such a different environment. And I love everything about it there. The views are incredible. It seemed like you could drive 10 miles down, not even that, from where we were staying, the view out my window was gorgeous. You know, I think I showed through my laptop. I was just like, look at this. Like, it's just snow and mountains. There's no one within five miles of us. But then you drive 10 miles down the road, and we're on a mountain. You know, you can see for 150 miles of clear, clear air, and you're at high altitude, and it's a wonderful place. I like it a lot.

So I'm going to go back this month maybe, next month, early next month. So if either of you would like to come, we could arrange some sort of a trip. I'm sure Chiz would love to go. Rent a car, I doubt. I don't know who else would want to go. I'd like to do that. I'd like to do something. Yeah.

I don't want to ski, but I'd love to snowboard. Snowmobiling would be very fun. Also, sledding or tubing. Anything in the snow. I'm down with all those things uh you know last time we had like a big inflatable sort of lake toy that you would ride behind right on and we drug it behind uh our friend's suv um just up and down our long we had a really long driveway at the place we rented out and it was so much fun i think kitty uploaded some video of like me and chiz riding that thing and like taking big falls One of you came curiously close to death.

In hindsight, he was four inches from that mailbox. Yeah, it looked real bad, didn't it? And I almost wrecked the car one time semi on purpose. Everyone was just laughing and playing, and they don't know Chiz just nearly died. Yeah, the whole day would have been ruined, or at least the afternoon would have been ruined. I'm sure they have fun things um i'll say we stayed in telluride last time or like near telluride uh it was a 20 30 minute drive into town but you know every day we wake up good and early and and then

we ride into town together and you don't mind that 30 minute drive the but there's like a restaurant there that's like gourmet food i remember every day we got something different and it was so good that after we'd finish our meal, we'd be like, could I get this another order of this, but like to go so that it can be my dinner too. Um, so, and the people there are so nice, uh, very polite and it's, it's a touristy kind of, they're all high. It's a touristy kind of environment, but I don't feel like a tourist like I do in maybe Myrtle beach or Miami or, or New York. I don't feel like a tourist like I do in maybe Myrtle Beach or Miami or New York. I don't feel like I'm out of place and juxtaposed and they're looking at me like an outsider. It's like, hey, welcome to our beautiful state. This is what we do here. Come on,

let me show you what's wonderful about it. Everybody we met there wanted to share with us what was great about Colorado, whether it was the gourmet fish taco place down the street or go up that chairlift. It doesn't even matter if you ski. You've got to see that view. Everybody was cool. I'm going back to Colorado. Yeah, I'm going back very soon if any of you would like to go with me.

Cheap flights. Now would be the time to book. It's only like a two-hour flight. We should lock in some dates. I am hyper-flexible. How long until it's snowing? Now. It's Colorado, right?

It's snowing now, I bet. No way. I wouldn't think so. I thought it was still really warm everywhere. I don't know shit. I don't know how to spell Telluride. T-E-L-L-U-R-I-D-E. And we don't have to to spell Telluride. T-E-L-L-U-R-I-D-E. And we don't have to go to Telluride.

We could probably go right outside of Denver. See, going to Telluride, I don't remember our main reason we went there. Maybe we were trying to be close to someone or something. But it did require me driving through the night on icy roads. And I'm so proud of my driving. I wish I'd had a camera to show you the shit I did that night. So I looked at the Telluride forecast, and I'm like, Taylor is right.

60, 53, 50, 50, 55, et cetera. A week from now, 31 and snowing. Oh, wow. The skiing is incredible there, and I will go to the ski places with anyone who wants to do it. Are you good at skiing? I have that ankle thing. I just...

Are you good at skiing, Taylor? I'm pretty good, yeah. I'm not great, but I can go down blacks just fine. I can go down runs with moguls on it just fine. Living in Missouri, there weren't a ton of opportunities, but if you can skate, you can skate you can ski it like the learning curve if you know

how to skate on ice skates and you try to ski you're immediately 10 steps ahead of everyone around you because you have that same kind of movement to push back and get it going in the same kind of steering uh maneuvers a little bit slide to Slide to a stop. I, of course, didn't ski, but what we did do was take the chairlift. It's not a chairlift. It's a gondola. We got in the gondola. The gondola goes on this, I'm going to say

15 minutes. That's an exotic word. No, it's from a movie. I can't remember what movie. I thought you were saying it like it was really fancy too yeah no no that's my impression like it's a hamburger like the hamburger or this box is you know i can't remember the movie but it's like a montauban accent i will take you on adventures so we get on the gondola and we go up the mountain and the higher

you go it's just you know higher you go, it's just, you know, it's Colorado. It's mount, it's snowy mountain peaks everywhere that are gorgeous. And you can see for the longest, longest ways. It's a, it's outstanding. And you're looking down at the skiers and you can definitely pick apart the guys who were top tier and then mid tier, and then just learning. And there was this thing where, man, if you go over that you just go down a cliff right and we were just fascinated watching each person come down and get ever closer to that edge because that was the line and and it was if you fell off you wouldn't fall to your death but you tumble a little bit and have to like kind of crawl your way back up the hill and we watched and we watched and sure enough somebody cuts the line too hard and like

and down through the bushes he goes it was very entertaining but anyway we get to the top of the so we went all over uh ride the gondola over the chairlifts it actually they run parallel so there's chairlifts going up to ski but the gondola is taking you over the mountain and down to this like i don't know what to call it like like a village where there was ice skating there. There was lots of restaurants and shopping and stuff. And everybody there seemed very rich. The houses there were in the millions and millions, like all of them were.

Because there's people who live there, seemingly in the middle of the like the ski slopes in the same way that maybe you'd live on a golf course it was like well shit he lives right fucking there like aspen was like very cool stuff you know you saw a lot of crazy crazy wealthy people and since you're going over in the gondola you can kind of see their backyard and see the kind of see their toys you know you in aspen i um i went to zillow because i was like all right all right i know these places are expensive but like you know what can you get for this or what can you get for that not a lot no no no no it's it it's very expensive there and and oh my god that

maybe if you live in a cold climate this is normal you, but the heated sidewalks blew me away. The idea that, like, oh, it's starting to flurry. Let's flip the light switch so that we don't get snow accumulation on our sidewalk. And you're walking down the sidewalks. You can clearly see which ones are heated. And then it's like, you fucking peasant. Really? You're just going to shovel the next day?

I'm walking in two inches of snow here. Flip the switch. I don't have time to be shuffling. I'm making money on the market right now. Right now I'm betting. I'm doing things. That's the kind of person I imagine who has a heated driveway. Oh, that blues coach had a heated driveway. The one who, when my mom backed through his yard and ruined a lot of his grass.

I thought that was a very novel thing, being like, there's a lot of snow on the ground, and it's fine right there, exactly where you want the snow not to be. It's not there. It's amazing. Well, I would, ideally, the kind of trip that I would like to do would be like, fly out on like a, maybe do the show, and then fly out the next day, or maybe do the, I don't know, maybe we maybe do the show and then fly out the next day or or or maybe do the i don't

know maybe we could do the show there but i'd like to stay for a while like like not two weeks of course but five days something like that because i think we stayed last time maybe four full days and man at the last day i was like man i wish we had one more day i wish we could stay a little longer like why do we have to go home can't we just stay well no the tickets is the tickets i'm not the tickets like i wanted i wanted to stay it was so great i i loved it there it does sound like fun so i'd like to you know rent a car um i i don't need to go to telluride because i because i'm not the skier um but but if you guys want to ski i fully support that and i'll drive four hours for better skiing for the rest of the group despite the fact that I'll be watching why don't you give it a go I'll give it a go I'll do that yeah yeah fuck it yeah I'll go yeah I've seen him give it a go before and there's just it's painful for him and

I think it's not a worthwhile effort I'll try to snowboard because I've never done that I've never tried snowboarding um I know it's harder yeah or maybe i'll get some ankle wraps because because it hurts the inside of my ankle i feel like it's i feel like the inside of my ankle is always being forced against hard steel snowboard boots are much more flexible and some people even wear like regular boots that you might own now it's not ski boots are yeah like ski boots are very uncomfortable snowboarding boots are just like big soft comfy boots yeah you might have i'll definitely give a go i won't be a jerk and like have fun guys i'm gonna sit here and drink or whatever like i'll definitely uh give it a go if there's skiing to be done i just go in the other direction i'm not so attached to skiing

that i'm like why waste our time sledding i'll sled i would love to sled it was hard to find a place that was real sledding though, because I want like adult sledding and it seems like sledding is a kid's thing. Um, but, but in my head I want to be like, like fucking wind.

I want to like go back in the summer and do the mountain biking shit. You know, that you, you see like GoPro videos of, I, for some reason I watch it like the gopro videos and in spite of the fact that i've ridden a bike practically none in the last 30 years i'm like i could do that all right i won't do the flip i'll just go over easy i'm not athletic enough for that i don't

have the i don't have the pumpers i i'm probably not either but between my ears fuck it i can i can ride a bike down a mountain. Yeah, down the mountains. That's how you work. Oh, maybe you haven't seen this. Like you go up on the ski lift and then you go down the mountain. Oh, that's nuts. So in the snow or on like –

It's how ski resorts make money in the summer. Cool. I don't know anything about that. See, I was picturing that sort of like in the woods woods there's some like wooden parts to like get you over little things and there's a jump here and there and it just looks dangerous like and through trees that's kind of it like they have it set up you know for bike trails and stuff but and you've seen of course the little wooden things and they're also if i'm right on this i think i am they have it like beginner intermediate and advanced stuff so you don't necessarily have to cross like

six volkswagen bugs in the ground to make it to the other side of the jump you know you just take the evil but um well i i would definitely i'll do anything um but but i i am going to colorado uh you know the next month or two uh we talked about it the other day, and it'd be fun if we all went, and I don't care who fucking goes. I mean, in addition to our little group or whatever, like... Are there still plans for you or... I don't even know

what's public. I'm talking about moving. What is the current line of thinking? I can't talk too much about it, but there's a little bit of a wait that we have to go through before everything's settled but yeah she's moving out um and going somewhere not too far away um yeah that's the situation but i'm keeping the house on the in the process of moving out for at least three years we ran into a couple of roadblocks okay but i guess where i was headed with that you think this time it's most likely going to happen, probably 2017.

Yeah, I think it's like four more months before we can wrap everything up. Okay. Do you guys see that thing I linked? Apparently the CEO of Grubhub went over to Twitter and just saw Grubhub was trending. He sent this email out to all of his employees, I guess, the day after the election, and

a part of it, here, I'll just read it. People are upset about this part that says, if you do not agree with this statement, then please reply to this email with your resignation because you have no place here. We do not tolerate hateful attitudes on our team. It's a long email about

maybe we should just read it. Is that too long to read? Not at all. Take it from the top. Do you want me to do it, or do you – maybe we should just read it. Is that too long to read? Not at all. Take it from the top. Do you want me to do it or you got it? I can do it. Okay. So subject is so ellipses. That happened, ellipses.

What's next? And the body. I'm still trying to reconcile my own worldview with the overwhelming message that was delivered last night. Clearly there are a lot of people angry and scared as the antithesis of every modern presidential candidate won and will be our next president. While demeaning, insulting, and ridiculing minorities, immigrants, and physically slash mentally disabled worked for Mr. Trump, I want to be clear that this behavior and these views have no place at Grubhub. He hadn't worked here because we deliver fucking restaurant food to you. He, had he worked here, many of his comments would have been resulted in his immediate termination. Had he worked here, many of his comments would have resulted in his immediate

termination. We have worked for years cultivating a culture of support and inclusiveness. I firmly believe that we must bring together different perspectives to continue innovating, including all genders, races, ethnicities, and sexual, cultural, or ideological preferences. Jesus. We are better, faster, stronger together. Further, I absolutely reject the nationalist, anti-immigrant, and hateful politics of Donald Trump and will work to shield our community from this movement as best I can. As we all try to understand what this

vote means to us, I want to affirm anyone on our team that is scared or feels personally exposed that I and everyone else here at Grubhub will fight for your dignity and your right to make a better life for yourself and your family here in the United States. If you do not agree with this statement, then please reply with this email please reply to this email with your resignation because you have no place here we do not tolerate hateful attitudes on our team i want

to repeat what hillary said this morning and that the new administration deserves our open minds and the chance to lead but never stop believing that the fight for what's right is worth it from who is i't know i don't know the ceo's name but from the ceo of grubhub and so uh people are a little upset about that hmm that won't go over well for him that was dumb of him why would you inject politics into into your food delivery business he's got too much money clearly he wanted to lose a little money uh maybe drive maybe maybe this is some like maybe he's a genius he's trying to drive his stock prices lower so he can buy some of it up and take it take a bigger share in the company what a fucking jerk if he if he thinks that's a good idea yeah that's that's not a good idea at

all you don't inject politics into any kind of a business like it's just half the people disagree with you dude actually and this time around more than half dude yeah it's it's very hope there's no point in doing it in the food business i mean my god like all that no one is going to go hey i want some moe's burritos but i don't want to go to moe's i know that grubhub really likes hillary clinton so i'm going to use their service it It's like, no, you just use whatever's there. The only thing that will happen is they'll go, hey, ah, damn, I can't use Grubhub because they're a bunch of assholes, and I don't like them for making my burrito delivery

their politics, so I'm not using their. I've got an account and everything. You just get on there, search the genre of food you want. Not anymore, you don't. Maybe not. I don't know. I like it. I like Grubhub. Yeah, I'm with you. If Jeff Bezos had come out and

expressed his strong support of baby killing, I'm not talking about abortion, I'm talking about kids under three, I'd still be like, yeah, but I really like Amazon. Right? Maybe I'll use Grubhub and realize it's really good. Chick-fil-A didn't

really inject it into their message at all it was more of a something was uncovered about what the CEO was doing so I guess it's a bad example because it was just him donating money but I like their chicken sandwiches a lot even though he donated to groups that I disagree with yeah I guess maybe if Grubhub really can't deliver

a Qdoba burrito to me in a reasonable amount of time while it's still hot... They don't do that. Okay, well then I... Fuck them. Yeah. So, um, maybe I'm wrong here, but the way I've always used Grubhub was as a food delivery aggregate.

So it's places that already deliver food and this puts them all in one searchable sort of thing that you can go by categories. You can go by price. You can go by the stars that the restaurant has. You can go by how many minutes it will take them to deliver to your address that you're currently at. And then you tip there with PayPal. You pay with PayPal, and you never have to talk to anyone, call anyone.

It's click, click, click. If they already deliver food, what value does Grubhub add to the transaction? It's by aggregating all of the places into one. So the way I'll use it is I'll be in another city that I'm normally in. When I was in LA, I'll type in the address I'm staying at and I get only the restaurants that can deliver to that place. And then I can search by four stars or five stars or the price or whatever if I want good food. i can search just thai restaurants or just americana or just noodles or you know just sushi and then it it it just it aggregates them together categorizes them and and ranks them in a way that makes it real a really smooth process

i should check it out because i hardly see the benefit. Oh, man. It's huge. I feel like they just named a bunch of places that deliver that I could have just reached to already. No. So it'll be dozens and dozens of restaurants that you don't know about and have never heard of that just happen to deliver. I mean, all around you. And it does everything there on the website. The ordering process happens

there i'm on grubhub right now just looking around seeing what they got it looks like a pretty useful service like i just clicked on they i guess they deliver alcohol so you can uh if the restaurant will deliver alcohol they'll do it i guess i thought that's neat i didn't know you could that you could do that with grubhub. But the first review after I clicked on some restaurant, first review is one star from Nick. He says, never even got it. He just never even got his food. Let me slip an ad read in here.

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There's lots of products on there, lots of cool stuff. So clothes sent to my door at 20% off. That's a lot of percents. I love buying shit on the internet. This is a win. Yeah. I like that service. I got some... Very good. I got some stuff from there the other day. Still waiting on it to arrive,

but I'm hopeful. That's awesome. Yeah. And you used our code, of course. No, I didn't have to use the code because chis gave me some free money oh nice i'm gonna have to give you twenty dollars of free money in a little while because of that hillary clinton bet which uh one taco bell i think for kyle i think subconsciously unconsciously, on some weird level, I bet I wanted to bet on Hillary Clinton to trick the universe into me losing. Because if I hadn't bet on Hillary, I stand by this, cite all the polls and facts that you want, had I not bet Chiz and Kyle each $20 on Hillary Clinton, she'd be the next president.

Because God would have looked down and said, who does Taylor want? Thank you, Taylor. The Blues are having a bad season, so let's make sure that this other thing goes badly too. Are the Blues having a bad season? I haven't looked lately. I saw that they had a little stretch

where they really got their ass kicked. They were being outscored like 12-1 across two games. They've been too streaky. They'll play like three games really, really well and just be like, God damn, this is the team back. And then they'll play four games and be like,

where did those other guys go? They were really good at hockey and now these guys don't look too hot. Sweet T's turning into Ice T. What happened was... Yeah, he has been not doing as well. The Blues hit a particularly ugly streak. The Flyers hit a particularly beautiful streak.

And I didn't talk trash because they had, like, the same record practically. So I was like, if this happens one more game, then the Flyers have a better record than the Blues. And they were, like, both playing the next day. There's something close to that. And the next day, the opposite of what I wanted happened. Both the Blues won and the Flyers lost, and I was fucked. Yeah, as long as we make the playoffs, I don't really care.

It's exhausting to care about the— Keep expectations low. That's smart. But it's also—yeah, expectations are always low with the Blues. But I just—the way they do the playoffs now of, oh, wow, you won the division. You get to play, or you got second place in the hardest division last year. You get to play the Chicago Blackhawks in the first round. It's like, what the fuck?

That's not the way playoffs work. That's ridiculous. Why don't you do it like the other schools? What did the Blackhawks finish? Third. The Blues finished second place, and the hawks finished third place in central and they had to play each other in the first round two of the best teams in the league last year having to crush each other in seven games don't follow hockey you should know hockey makes some attempt at putting the best team

against the worst team right so if you finish first then you go against the team that like barely got the last wild card spot but it's a little screwed up in the middle sometimes because i think if tell me i don't make any mistakes here but the top winners in each of the divisions get the top three spots so sometimes the winner of like the third best division is not as good as the second best team and the best division and it gets a little yeah so their intent is that like division winners are the best three teams but that's not always the reality and uh taylor's calling out a particular year where the defending champs didn't have a great regular season so the blues had to face

them and you beat them no no no The defending champs had a good season. They got third in the division. It went Dallas, St. Louis, Chicago. And so all those teams had excellent seasons. Dallas, obviously first seed. They don't have to play St. Louis or Chicago. And then St. Louis and Chicago

both did well and they have to play each other, which is aggravating when you watch a sport like hockey where it's like well shit well they get third in their division it's not like they killed it that year the previous year they won the cup they but they killed it compared so if you looked at the entire western conference the blackhawks did very very well it was uh dallas and anaheim and then st louis and chicago and all of the pacific teams dragged that average down so basically the good teams like the sharks got to in pacific got to take on an

easier strength of schedule than like the blues or the hawks um it's just like the hawks like that was difficult for them to round yeah the hawks lost to the blues in seven games but and then the blues went from there and played Dallas, which makes sense. That's the second round. Of course, it's going to be a tougher team. And they took it to seven games there, and they won. And by that point, like, of course, I never get my hopes up. But I was like, Jesus Christ.

Like, yeah, the Sharks have played, like, six fewer games than us at this point because they didn't have to – or they played, like, three or four fewer games, which is a lot in hockey. But, yeah, as long as the Blues make the playoffs, I'm fine. If they don't, that would be really disappointing and that Ken Hitchcock will not be getting a call for coaching again next year if that's the case. I'm a Flyers fan.

It's President's Cup or bust. Yeah, President's Cup or bust for the Flyers. Rangers are doing really really really well this season so far i didn't expect that i thought their window had kind of passed but jimmy vc that rookie is playing great for him uh kyle anything to add there yeah i absolutely not um big t look big t looks like ron weasley that's all i got dude ufc 205 is coming And you guys have heard me say this before Oh my god, this is the Super Bowl or whatever What happened was New York changed the law

Allowing the UFC To come to that state So here it is, the UFC In Madison Square Garden For the first time ever They have pulled out all the stops And tried to build the I talk about how these other cards are like

great for cards because it's like all five cards in the main dude the prelims in this card are amazing the the freaking fight pass stuff is incredible from top to bottom amazing fights uh eddie alvarez is going to win i'm making that call i'm putting my you don't make a lot of money betting against conor mcgregor so be careful if you guys are silly enough to listen to my betting advice like I'm not just an idiot. But I think Eddie Alvarez is going to win. He eats left-handers for lunch, all of his best fights. He just fucking eats.

He's good that way. Conor McGregor is not going to have that. He's nothing but a left, right? That's the Joe Lozon line. He's not going to have a good night against Eddie Alvarez because he's to have that. He's nothing but a left, right? That's the Joe Lozon line. He's not going to have a good night against Eddie Alvarez because he's good at that. And the rest of the cards, Joanna Champion, Chris Weidman's fighting Yul Romero.

Oh, my God. Chris Weidman is so, like, skilled and talented and good at all the things that make up MMA. And Yul Romero looks like a fucking action figure. It's his first fight back from his steroids. You're getting caught for using steroids. And the guy's like 38 or something, 37. And he looks ridiculous.

Ridiculous. He's in such good shape. I saw his picture, and I'm like, no way. He stopped using the steroids. And Chris Weidman, I don't even know how that's going to go down. There's a bunch of fights on this card that I am so excited about. Oh, Tyrone Woodley and Wonderboy are fighting? Like, that's actually going to happen?

I don't know who's going to win. Tyrone Woodley is actually a very good fighter. Is that the welterweight or something yeah it is so the little guy who's like undefeated uh is wonder boy undefeated i'm not 100 sure or like he's held the title for like a really long time right no so this will be his first defense and um um tyrone woodley a lot of fans don't like him because like i i forget he like he beat a good fighter maybe it was gastelum or something then he went up against johnny hendrix the fight never happened because johnny hendrix missed weight so he just kept waiting for his title shot like and fans don't like that fans like to see active fighters and stuff but he just sat there and said you owe me a shot you owe me a shot he got a shot and he beat robbie lawler and everyone is like oh my god like like this guy beat robbie lawler and then he immediately started

calling out like me i forget who he was calling out like people who had no shot at winning i don't know did he call up a guy from a lower weight class like he's just he's you know he was bitching and moaning about not getting his title shot because he was like one of the top contenders and then he immediately reaches down and challenges like the number 11th guy so there's a lot of hardcore mma fans like me who were just like fuck woodley we hate you and you should be fighting wonder boy and he's like like, no, no, not so much Wonderboy. Maybe McGregor. It's like, dude, he's like 35 pounds lighter than you.

Yeah, I think I could get him. He should be fighting the Shockmaster. Oh, not the Shockmaster. From the WWE conversation. That guy was embarrassing. What's going on with Jon Jones? I heard they took his title away again. They did.

Oh, my God, again? He's lost it more times than he's got it with Jon Jones? I heard they took his title away again. They did. Oh, my God. Again? He's lost it more times than he's got it now. So what happened with Jon Jones, the whole story in Fast Forward is this. He was going to go up against Daniel Cormier for a title shot. Cormier got hurt, so he went up against OSP. And since what they do in the UFC sometimes is they're like, well, this was going to be a title shot.

We'll still make it one, but you get the interim belt so he had the interim belt while Daniel Cormier Cormier Cormier had the real belt and then he got busted for steroids he was going to go up against Cormier and then like

it was literally like a day or two before the fight he got busted for steroids and he's out. So this is a Woody biased view. So don't put too much faith in this. They hunt around everywhere looking for some sort of supplement that might be tainted. They find one and say, Hey, I was taking these. And it's not the bottle that's tainted. It's like across the thing. They have a thing in it that's not declared the bottle that's tainted it's like across the thing they have a thing in it that's not declared and uh he hires this lawyer who does this with like everybody he finds it in something off the shelf and then whatever so um he and his supplier like malik

or something like that their stories don't match up the things don't work the timelines don't go together they eventually produce an invoice where like there's the thing jones bought and like other illegal things that he like he's a steroid dealer like in the same invoice and uh nevada looks at it and says all right i believe you might have taken this thing but all the rest of this is so fucking sketch that rather than him being delayed for six months he's delayed for 12 that's that's how long his current suspension will be and um because of that the ufc stripped his belt and when he comes back he'll have to fight his way back up so that's the john jones story well dude that is uh off the hook like it's it's it's a really really good one i'm very excited about it and uh does ronda fight next ufc event it's not the next one it might be

is like is she still thought of as like the best woman out there or not anymore people don't know so so she's like one of the most successful women in mma history except she was such a head case after her last loss she like hid from the media tears for days like she's just not good at losing sounds like clinton yeah and i'm sure some dude named like solomon wickerman was the best guy in major league baseball in 1886 with like his you know great hits and everything like that's what's cool about women's mma that i like watching is that it's like you're watching the inception of a sport like you're watching it kind of evolve like ronda rousey and like not not to take anything away from her but she is that person from 1908 in major league baseball who was better than the

average bear at baseball but you take him and you try and put him in the world series this year not a chance he's not like i said no no way he's good enough to make any team ronda rousey like you're gonna see women fighters get better and better and better i think the men fighters are all so well-rounded and their strike it seems like striking is more important than jiu-jitsu right now. The sport evolves. Who knows where it will be in five years? But right now, it seems like it's all about the striking. Her striking is terrible.

She just goes in there, gets people down, and her judo is amazing. Judo worked in men's MMA like 15 years ago, right? Judo works in women's MMA today, apparently. Mostly. She lost a fight. So you're kind of onto something there. And then her level of competition. Dude, like her last win was against a woman named Beche Correa. Something close

to that. Brazilian woman. Beche. Yeah, she had 99 problems and Beche wasn't one. Anyway, that woman like two and a half years earlier, like previous to that fight, two and a half years ago, was literally like a certified public accountant. And, you know, she goes into the octagon and there's this gif of her running in and jumping. And she looks so unathletic. Like I can hardly describe.

She just took up MMA to lose weight. And she moves around. She's like this fat... What's her name? Bae Chaekorea. It's spelled B-E-T-H-E. I thought it was B-E-C-H-E. I think there's a T in there.

It's been a while. I didn't look at her name since the fight. How do you spell her last name? B-E-T-H-E. C-O-R-E-I-A. Are you looking for the gif? Yeah, I'm trying to find her jumping around. Let's see how she stacks up against raquel pennington

all right here's here's the gift it's kind of small but i'll show it to everyone it's what i found oh what was that she's just a mud puddle in the way? She just, like, she looks like she's good at gravity. Like, it just sucks her right back down in a way it doesn't happen to athletes. Yeah, exactly. But you've watched, like, the real, like, Crow Cop or one of those guys. I just picked a name out of there. When they do, like, that pre-fight pre-fight jump, it's like, Jesus, that is a very athletic man.

It's guys with vertical leaps that are astounding. They make gravity seem like it's turned down low. I can jump as high as this woman. Oh, easily. We all could. I'm 43.

I can't dunk or anything, but I can grab the rim. She can't jump. No. That's the kind of woman that Ronda Rousey was knocking out. She knocked out some better people than that, too. But she definitely has a record that's padded with some people like that. I remember she fought her in Brazil, and Ronda rousey was on ellen or some talk show and they're like are you worried you're going down to brazil this and that and she's like

the difference between me and betcha is more than home court advantage you know it was she knocked her out in like a minute or something less than that yeah i heard her talking about betcha or whatever her name is on the uh on the stern show and uh she she went she told the whole like horse woman story about how beche basically beat up each of ronda's friends in secession and each time she's holding up a different finger you know as she takes him down uh she told that whole story and and said that that really did motivate her to dislike that woman a lot and go hurt her it worked yeah beche crumbled like a house of cards she just but so anyway um people don't know what

kind of headspace ronda's in right now you know she was thinking about suicide because she lost a fight and stuff like that so you don't know what's going to come back and she's been out long enough that ring rust might be a factor for her or she might just start she's been training with diaz's boxing coach um are you talking about a reddit thing you saw maybe i sure am yeah was that not right it's not wrong uh she trained with his coach like she tried it and okay it was a good experience for her but she was like traveling and she visited there yeah well then that's bullshit that's a clinic or something that's one day you know she needs weeks and weeks and weeks.

You're right. It's not like bullshit. She was probably traveling or something, so she's like working out with people and whatever. Okay, that's fair to say. It's not like she was there to like go to Six Flags and she saw the coach and like did some shadow boxing.

She went and trained with the guy. I'm making this up, but she probably did like a UFC event or something. they make them meet with fans or whatever and she you know she's good at that where am i gonna work out you know the ds have a home for her yeah but it's not like she did a camp there or anything okay well look i wish the best for it because i i i like champions i like oh my god that's the best that's ever done, I think. I like winners. That's why I'm so drawn to Trump. Look, everybody hates him. He's a fucking son of a bitch.

He says the dumbest shit. He plays to the lowest common denominator whenever it suits him. But god damn if he doesn't win at every corner. If he doesn't have everything he wants, then show me what he wants, right? Other than your respect. I wanted to talk about that.

I've been thinking about this. So I'm not in a class that can have anything at once in terms of like wealth. But I was reading on Reddit like, hey, like if your family is super rich, like what's it like? Like what's up? And this guy was like generational wealth. He's so rich that his grandkids will be rich. They've got more money than they can wear out. And he's like, it gets to a point where it's not about stuff.

You know, if you want a yacht, we can all have yachts. It's about access. It's about like, you know, hanging out with Jay-Z or having him come to your party. It's about like access. It becomes more about influence yeah not just in power but like like there were paintings like you know if you own a rare piece of art that has real value that other people wish they had that's where it's at it's not just things that money can buy because money can buy like a fancy car well dude they just sell those to people

with money like that we can all get those not we but like he is his circle um when i think about that like in that setting it's like all right so trump's private jet in my head anyway that's not a normal private jet like he's got a fucking like is it seven that's legit that's seven four seven four seven yeah trump's got a legit it might be he's got a big let's let... Let's be sure about this. I think even in the world of private jets, Trump having that... That's on another level. I know that...

A 757 airliner. I thought it was. I've gotten into planes lately. I'm a dick. It's all about aviation. What's that? You can't get enough aviation. you were born 100 years too late or actually probably too early knowing you but you know the thing i want to learn about his plane instead of looking at a 77 i saw a show on

a 737 once he has a previous jet and uh it's just like dude like other people are buying golf streams which are lovely jets but they're for six people or 12 people or whatever trump is flying the big shit like a normal one has a capacity of two to three hundred people here's a whole article about his um top 10 facts about donald trump's plane trump force one as it's known um and it really is now you want to scan it first i'm scanning it now like i'm looking for something interesting about it like so when i think about what trump just accomplished like when it talks like having a thing that other people can't have is is where it's at when you can have anything um is where it's at when you can have anything.

Like, presidency, dude, that's the biggest thing to be, period. Like, I like the words for it, right? There's no Monet that compares to President of the United States. There's no temporary custodianship of some piece of art or yacht or home or whatever um like it's he's the president of the united states i see that guy and even though trump's not my man every time i see like an inauguration ceremony i think well for right now this is the biggest winner on the planet like yeah winner isn't like not just an election. Won winner at life. Like, he's president of the United States. Most powerful country on the planet.

The most powerful thing in existence. He is more powerful right now than any other man has ever been ever, ever, ever. He just is. Donald Trump's Boeing is one of the fastest in the world. It goes over 500 miles per hour because of the Rolls-Royce engines. I don't know if that's standard or he's got fancy engines. Normally they hold, you know, 200 to 300 people, like I said. His only holds 43, and there's a reason for that.

43 positions, chairs. Because Donald's private jet has a lot of features, including bedrooms, dining rooms, and a private guest room. There's also a bath with 24-karat gold fixtures. It's important to mention that the 757 has an entertainment system inside installed video room with a cinema system um these the bedrooms really nice all these chairs are badass these are not this is not first class this is video right here and like it's just silently looking at like the walk through the cabin click the video i linked and like watch the first 30 seconds that is if you just took out the sides and i didn't know you were on a plane it looks like something that like i don't know some king in saudi arabia

would have in a boardroom or something it's unbelievably nice like this is borderline gaudy how nice it is i have a feeling that this part that you're talking about like the the chairs how nice it is yeah is the peon part that's where the passengers go trump has a room or something well i'm that's what they're showing that's where i would be you know i'm in the whole first class but i just you know if i ever ended up we're looking at it like oh my god these seats are amazing this is like so opulent the tables are so shiny and I bet Trump is like yeah that's where I put the people I don't know that well yeah look I just I just got out there's a whole plane hold on I just got out as a complete peasant because I looked at that and my first thought was like man like I have

plenty of room to stretch my feet out if I sat at that table like I'd be real comfy I bet they I bet they don't give you little bullshit cups of Diet Coke. I bet they give you the whole can every time they don't ask. They say, do you want a big glass of ice with your can of Coke? Yeah, this level of wealth is astounding. I can't imagine what it must be like to step off a plane with your name on it and not be some world leader that gets the plane by default. Does even Warren Buffett have stuff

like this? I don't know about Warren Buffett specifically, but what's his name? They have the dimple in his face that gropes male masseurs. He was in Greece. John Travolta. Yeah, John Travolta. I think he does have a 747. Let me make sure about that. I think he parks have a 747. Let me make sure about that.

I think he parks that because he's a pilot. He plies it himself. Yeah, that's like me buying an old school bus to get around the country because I can drive. I forget the name of it. It's like certification chasers or something. But there's a term for pilots who really like to get qualified on more and more shit. And Travolta is one of those guys. His house has an airport in the backyard with a runway.

My God, I'm looking at it right now. Travolta. What are we looking at? I think it's a 707. He's got several planes. This is so ridiculous, I can't this is so ridiculous I can't even tell if this is photoshopped oh no that's

that's John Travolta's house my god you see he's got like three different jets there one's like a little I don't know a little personal craft looks like it holds maybe ten people but then

there's a huge jetliner i'm such a fucker this guy's got planes oh man i want to see the runway that's pretty fucking cool man yes it's very nice must be nice right a um you know i've i we i think we've all known a guy or two who had a plane or they has access to the plane but these guys have their planes you know that that's that's pretty astounding i i i'm fascinated by trump you know i that it's just he's a really unique guy that's crazy i like the gold-plated fixtures and stuff. And you know what's funny is as he's getting off that plane, he tweets, he tweeted about meeting Obama a couple hours ago. He tweets like someone who won a raffle to meet the president.

He tweeted, a fantastic day in D.C. Met with President Obama for the first time. Really good meeting. Great chemistry. Melania liked Mrs. O a lot. It's like you're talking about this like he doesn't really, really dislike you.

I don't know if it's funny. I think he... I don't know. I bet Obama... I think Obama really doesn't like him. He probably doesn't. He's very upset about the birther thing from what I've always heard. They always have sources or they cite sources from within the campaign or within the White House.

And through those, I've always heard that the birther thing was very offensive to Obama. And it hurt his feelings and it upset him greatly that they were attacking his citizenship rather than his policy or rather than you know his leadership skills they're they're going right to like he was he's not even from here they're completely disqualifying him as a human being and he didn't care for that and and so i would imagine that he really just dislikes trump greatly you know i mean you saw how hard he's campaigning for hillary but it's a real testament to our system, our country, and the man that is Barack Obama, that he was so damn classy today. Like, if anyone out there hasn't seen it yet, watch that little short, it's maybe two minutes. It's Obama and Trump sitting next to each other after their

90-minute meeting, speaking to the press for maybe a minute or two. They each speak, and then that's it. Of course, after they're done, after trump finishes speaking the the crowd goes wild and asking questions and with the shutters and obama's like no more questions no no we gave you a chance we talked to you answered your questions that's it he looks over trump he's like you like learn from that you don't answer the questions don't answer any questions now you know i wish that trump would have made like this is like it's a douchey thing, but it's what you expect from Trump. Like make a point of like,

I will be the first to move into a smaller home when I accept this position of like making fun of the fact that his house is better than the White House. Pathetic. No gold anywhere. All of my bathrooms in my house, they all had that toilet seat

that you just barely touch it and it comes down on its own. The White House has very old toilet had that toilet seat that you just barely touch and it comes down on its own the White House has very old toilet seats the guy that you just touch and it slams down it startled me how awkward is it going to be when Hillary has to return all that furniture that she bought

did she buy furniture? oh you know she did she'd already measured the drapes she'd already picked out the colors. She had the armoire ready to slide on into the Lincoln bedroom. Now Trump's coming in there, and it's going to get gaudy. Taylor, do you have any toilet seats, too? It sounded like you did.

The ones that you just touch a little bit, and they go down nice. Well, I'm a big fan of those. Those are amazing. What are they? I missed it. So basically, like, the toilet seat. You know how when you're lowering a toilet seat, you have to grab the toilet seat and bring it all the way down to the bowl.

That's gross. Germs jumping around. But these, you just kind of tap it, and it just... They're like spring-loaded or something. Very, very slowly goes down. Doesn't make any noise. This house, all the toilets have that, and it's like one of the nicest things about my house. It's such a little thing that people appreciate.

It's huge. It's huge. And then I'm at a hotel and it's like, kabang! And I'm like, oh, man, what the fuck is this? If you get used to those, you just make an ass of yourself when you go to other people's houses. Because you're like, what? Did you have such a terrible shit that you had to slam the top down? What the fuck are you doing in there?

Are you mad at it? Did not as much come out as you were hoping? No. They can't be that expensive. No. They definitely can't. It's just one of those things that's teeny tiny but the addition of it is big. It's a big difference in the bathroom.

You know, you've just taken a horrible shit. You've been sitting've just taken a horrible shit. You've been sitting there. Your legs are numb. You've got those red marks on your elbows and your knees because you've been fucking around on your phone for too long. You think, man, I really should start wiping my ass and get off this toilet, but who knows when the next round's coming through.

So I may as well go to the toilet and see if it happens. And then you get up. You're all distraught. You're sweaty. You feel terrible. And you flush it. You have to flush it again, maybe a third time. See you, Dr. Taylor.

I always flush twice. I don't care for it when people leave shit streaks in the toilet bowl either. Like, that's just uncalled for. I'll tell you what I do. I don't want any particulate. I don't want any rice in the bottom of the bowl because you couldn't digest it properly. Anyone out there who's not familiar with this, you shit, you flush, you wash your hands, and then by the time you're done washing,

the back of the bowl is filled up again, and you check. You check for cleanliness in that bowl. Someone else is coming in there maybe to piss, and they don't want to see your poop. So if you've got a scrub, change your floater thing so that more water comes out because I'll tell you,

I am like, one of the toilets in this house, I'm pretty much the only one that uses it and which means I get to see, like I'm expected, I am the last person to use it was me

and it is clean. I think you need more water flushing with each flush. Your shit isn't as sticky as mine, I think, because what happens is the turd hits the bottom and a little comes off of it.

It's certainly not... I've also done some adjustments back there. We're running it. That thing fills up. Yeah. When the top lifts a little bit, when it starts to float, then you've done it right. That's when you know you're due to flush. There's no low flow around here.

I had that issue a while back where I had over-adjusted and it was too much. It was always running. But yeah, it maxes out now. I want a maximum flush. I immediately removed that low flow thing. You don't have to be very handy to swap out a shower head. You just go in there

with some needle nose pliers. Get that fucker out. The thing that makes the water stop coming? Get the fuck out of here. You want maximum pressure in there? Maximum pressure. Is there anything more scary and worse than going into a person's bathroom, having to take a foul

shit of someone that you don't know, and then you flush, and you see that weak little gurgle, and you see the paper slowly start to oscillate. Not the way that you want. the way that you're like god damn i hope that that's just because of the inertia in that shit that it takes a lot of energy to get it moving you know pick up some speed and fly on out of it like oh that's that's i i'll tell you what

i've done i get so concerned about that let me give you a hug and then it picked like you're like. Oh, thank God you So I've got a little tip for this if you if you know that the toilet that you're about to poop in Just doesn't have the power that you want what you do is you go over by the sink and usually people have a little Glass to keep their toothbrush in or they rinse their mouth with i add extra water to the tank to get a fat flush i'll take the back off your toilet in your house i'll add an extra couple quarts of water to it that way it really gets that poop on gone and also like but i'll sit on the toilet like be ready to like drop my load and i'll i'll be at three two one flushing shit flushing shit like like like because i don't want i want shit to go from inside me to inside the septic tank or sewer instantly like no sitting around in this room like like that first you want it to be where you you the log begins and then it almost like pulls it out like uh i'll get out of those colorful scarves from magician's sleeves you know i never do that

but i will do like um taylor's like you know i'm here because i don't know when the next load is going to come i'll flush in between poops you know like oh yeah sometimes that's where this well my balls are sitting in it after a while that's just that one just place you are a mighty pooper k Kyle. I cannot hang with you. When your balls start getting shit on them, you know it's time to flush. But I'll be like, you know, this room smells now. Not a big room. Flush that shit and, you know, literally, and then, yeah, get a first start.

The best toilets are the ones that are so violent they startle you a little, like at the airport. Like, yeah. You get off that thing, and sometimes they're automatic and so i'm always careful to like uh like get my pants on and my belt on i don't want anybody to see me in there shitting so i'm i've heard howard stern describe this and it's one of the things that i like about him he's like he's like i i hunch my head down because he's six four six five or whatever i'm six two I hunch my head down because he's 6'4", 6'5", or whatever. I'm 6'2", but still my head comes above some stalls. I don't want anybody to see me in there.

So I'm just like head hunched down below the stall wall, getting pants on, belt buckled before I flush because I want to like flush, open the door, and be out of there so nobody even knows I took a shit. Like I don't like shitting in a public place at all. When I do do it's because there's just an emergency or I'm about to have to get on a plane for five hours if I'm in public and I have a really foul shit and someone is out there when I get out like peeing I'll usually try and make like a comment really just to show I'm not afraid of that I know you do that

too we all everybody poops and I just finished and so you know I know you do that too. We all, everybody poops. And I just finished. And so, you know, rough one, huh? I wouldn't say that because that's inappropriate. Like, what do you say, though? Like, what kind of... I don't know. Do you just... Yeah, it's more just...

Smell this! Oh, Jesus. I thought the election was rough. Is it hot in here, Jesus? Yeah, there's some shit on my balls in there. That was crazy. Man, that's... I hate pooping at other people's houses so much

that it's like... It's not even that. I don't mind it as much as... I really get a lot of comfort from shitting in like the four or five home shitters that i feel comfortable with like i've got the ones here and then i've got like you know if there's somewhere like my parents house like i know that's a safe shit spot you know friends houses very very close friends i know that's a safe shit spot i don't like feeling like i'm in there for four minutes six minutes and still i haven't got it done and then people are like oh

man he must be in there having a horrible shit it's like well you're partially right but you shouldn't be judging me for it asshole i uh yeah i that's one of my biggest things is i hate driving in the car if i am driving in the car and I get the urge to shit I Immediately become the most stressed out person of all time it becomes instantly find a bathroom because the feeling of shit I can't handle it having to I can hold my pee for so long the feeling of having to take a shit I can't I awful I hate it. I have you have to get it out On a fan I try to get that knocked out in the morning. Every morning, that's my routine.

But if I have to get up particularly early, then I miss it. I miss my window. It hasn't come yet. And so if I'm getting up at 6 a.m. and I'm out the door by 7, then I'm usually pooping at 11. This is a problem. So I try to hit my window,

but sometimes it just doesn't work out like when i go through healthy kick which i'm i need to go on another one right now but i always am blown away at the consistency not of like the the feel obviously but of the like consistent like you shit at 8 35 next day you shit at 8 41 next day you sit at at 827 you know you're shitting so regularly and when you're not eating garbage it's just it's it's incredible how easy it is to shit but food junk food just tastes too good you know i have a thing for you i always think about you when i when i'm in my pantry so you've mentioned a couple of times is it gold it's cheetos right cheetos is your weakness cheez-its okay we keep a stack of paper bowls in our pantry like just on the shelf where all the chips and popcorn and stuff like that goes so we don't take the bag or box with us we put it in the paper bowl

portion control and then that bowl goes to the living room. If you have a bag of, like, Tostitos next to you in our living room, my wife would be all over it. Like, what is that? With the kids, she yells at them. With me, she makes the fat face like that. And I know what she's saying. That's how you get fat. And so you've got to put it in the bowl.

She'll forgive you if you refill the bowl because you're really hungry but if you take the bag with you and just like mindlessly eat cheez-its that doesn't fly in our house recently i just haven't kept cheez-its in the house like i every time i go to the store i avoid the uh like as melissa likes different kinds of treats and snacks than me so like if she wants something i can go to the get ice cream or whatever, or candy, and I don't step into the chip and cracker aisle, because I can't walk through the chip and cracker aisle without being like, what?

They made an extra toasty flavor? You mean the Cheez-Its that get a little bit burnt and have that toasty flavor? They made a whole fucking flavor that I am keeping. The local grocery store near me, when they're doing their restock numbers, they're like, this is absolutely out of control someone uh this this we never expected st louis to be such a hotbed for the extra toasty flavor here and i just had to be like it's actually the same

gentleman he comes in twice a day you know really wipes us out you know he leaves nothing but that disgusting cold i bought colby flavored cheese it cheese a couple weeks ago to expand my horizons. Horrible. Horrible. Because they did what bullshit Goldfish started doing years ago, which is, oh, we're adding a new flavor. No, you didn't. That's the same cracker with a bunch of bullshit powder sprayed on it.

You're not fooling anyone. You're not fooling anyone. You're just getting my hands dirty. I don't care. It's a pretzel-based snack where there's just cheese in the middle. It's like a – Combos combos when combos first came out i was a teenager or a young teen like 12 or something and it was like a big thing combos were so popular just having combos like combos like everyone was about the combos then they added some more flavors and it was like dude these are

good like what so like the first they had had one or two good ideas for combo flavors. And then they started putting in all the pepperoni combos. And it's like, oh, look, there's a new combo. Oh, no. It's awful. I literally saw a, oh, what? It must have been marshmallow combos, like campfire combos or something because I was looking at it and I saw

I was at a gas station and next to the Cheez-Its they have all those snacks and it was like the standard cheese combos, then pizza pepperoni pizza combos, and then there was like a dessert version of combos, which was marshmallow filling. It's like, that's

a fucking pretzel that sounds awful i can't imagine opening this up taking a bite of your gross powdery stuff because the flavor and combos if you haven't eaten them i'm sure they're sold outside of the u.s it's not like a pay it's not a paste it's not it's like a compressed powder of flavor it's just the stuff that they dust on other things they go no we want a whole fucking brick it's like that ramen noodle bullshit sprinkled on it or something yeah if you take a true one it's just it's crumbly like the powder flavor is just like falling off it's not it's not a it's probably not good for you i don't like combos it can't be but i bet it survives the apocalypse yeah i'm sure they will

cheese it's wrong but then i'm the kind of guy who'd be like, what? Marshmallow? Is there like chocolate marshmallow combos? Look, it's worth a go, right? No, that sounds awful. It's weird. I don't branch out with sweets very much. If I want sweets, it's Reese's.

Reese's, objectively the best candy. Every single- Just Reese's, the M&M-y thing? No, no, no, not the M&Ms. That's a tease. I don't like those as much. I like the cups. And not the little ones either, not the snack ones. The big cup! Yes, the big cup, that's another product

that for a while there... Well, Melissa's more a fan of those with their ice cream than me. We were keeping the fucking big cups in the store. But that was a great add-in. It's about twice as much peanut butter as in a regular cup and there's also more chocolate around it so those things are huge like you buy like one you get one big cup in a package it thinks big i want a ginormous cup like the size of a birthday cake i i found that and i was gonna send it to taylor for christmas but i forgot all about it they make

it it's a pound it's it's only November. It's called the Mega Car. Christmas is over a month away. He's like, fuck it, what can you do? I was going to do it, but then I thought, fuck him. Missed my window. I actually found something better. I mean, when it's already early November,

just right off Christmas. Way too late now to keep me doing that. Sorry, Taylor. You're getting cold. Fuck you. That's fine. Did you see that crazy mansion I linked? I like places like that.

The things that the last place we stayed in had were it was remote, so we didn't have any neighbors. We were kind of out in the woods, a long driveway in a private home, and I want that again. I like that. It was kind of luxurious, I guess. It was a lodge kind of place with rough wood,

but it also had brass fixtures and a really nice kitchen that was all set up and everything. This place looks expensive. Yeah, that one is. I think that one's like $700 a night or something like that. But I mean, you stretch it through five people or something like that, and it's not so rough. It just depends how long we're staying and how much money we want to spend. But, you know,

when you're splitting it between four or five people, you can get some pretty cool places. And you need four or five bedrooms anyway, so they're not going to be that cheap. I'm excited about this now. I think it'll be a fun trip. It's going to be cool. I like the snow.

I like the snow a lot. We need one more topic. Oh, I have it. I have a video to watch together. What is the backstory of the vid? It is about cricket, and I found it on Reddit, so you may have seen

it already. Nope. I'm paused. I think you'll enjoy it. Cue up at zero, please. Nope. I'm paused. I think you'll enjoy it. Cue up at zero, please. Oh, I did see this. Yeah, I'm ready. Ready, set, play. It's out of the ground.

I have no idea what's happening in this point. You get a home run, I think. They've no idea what's happening Did you I believe it. I think it's mine Damn It shows a replay. That's a hell of a dent. Yeah, I don't know what those cricket balls feel like but they must be pretty hefty It didn't fuck out this guy's roof like you took your palm and slammed it down as hard as you could And you're a man He's so depressed here's the impact don't Man that sucks for him. He said it was a rent

And I guess is this New Zealand Yeah, you have the insurance. And I guess, is this New Zealand? Zealand? How do New Zealand people talk? I don't know. It's like a little bit of a... It's just a twist on Australian, right? Yeah, kind of.

I don't think they appreciate that. Yeah, they don't like that. No, the accent, I mean. Not the countries. Like, I don't know how the countries differ, but you guys sound similar. Yeah, they do. The same way that you'd be like,

I really can't tell a huge difference between taylor's accent and kyle's like that's the way it is over there like i really can't tell much of a difference like if you show me like a australian guy and a new zealand guy the only way i'd be able to know it was new zealand if it was one of the guys from flight of the concords because otherwise i just i get a lot of attention for my accent, like from fans and stuff. And I never thought I'd be like, right? Like, they're always talking about the way I pronounce oddball words. Like, they're just slightly different.

Like saw. That's one. Or they'll be like, have you ever heard him say mitten? Robot. He says mitten and he barely uses the T. And it's like, oh, I don't know. I always thought I had a really neutral accent. Like you could just drop me in Colorado and they'd notice the difference. It's not your accent.

You just pronounce some words in an odd way. You guys are the exact opposite in this way in that a word like mitten, like the way you say it, Woody, where it's like you skip. It's like it in, like in the middle of the word instead of mitten. Kyle pronounces T's very specifically and intentionally in a middle of the word instead of mitten kyle pronounces t's very specifically and intentionally in a lot of words well he would say uh someone's mittens almost a mittens like that kind of thing or like you you definitely do that like you enunciate very clearly with your t's i've yeah i've noticed i try yeah you're a very very good speaker it's the tea skill in the philadelphia area only the teas

find people who talk like me yeah i don't think any of us really have an accent like i kyle does some like a tiny bit i don't feel like i do at all you can you have to get kyle next to the right people you get up next to some good old boys and kyle gets around with good old boys and all of a sudden you're like but which one is he like which one's the kyle yeah like he's so so good old that i can flow on into kind of an urban thing if i'm selling a black fella car yeah it's just it's not pretty to see the only time I talk a little more southern is when I'm around my grandparents are down in that area

and that's and it's not like it's like well howdy y'all how are you doing you know it's been a rootin tootin drive over I'm doing no shave November for as long as I can get away with it Jackie figured it out like just recently like it so it's not weird for me to go like five days without shaving like it's

a thing that happens now and then and uh you know she'll say something and usually I shave and this time no I didn't I didn't and she's like are you doing no shave November it's like only the 10th there's 20 more days of this and it bothers her like she doesn't like the beard it's not her thing like just today she was doing dishes or something i kind of hugged her from behind and she's like you're poking me with your beard like through her sweater my beard was poking her in the back she's uh not a fan pish posh you you stick with it yeah it'll come in handy if we go to Colorado. It'll look real nice in the snow. Real nice in the snow.

You'll be like Jeremiah Johnson out there. It's annoying in the snow with the beard if you do something like that because it freezes to your face, and then if you're trying to warm up, you basically just have a slowly melting amount of water keeping your face wet. Like when you go into the lodge and everything. It's kind of obnoxious. But it reduces that wind annoyance that you get on your face. The thickness of my beard is cool.

I like where the whiskers are. But they're gray now. It's a real gray beard, especially right here. And, you know, it's not my... I don't know. No, you grow a good beard, you should keep it. I think it looks good. Yeah, the gray is not unattractive. Gray looks good. It looks distinguished.

Exactly. Well, she's not the one you're trying to look good for. Yeah. Strong point. Yeah, she can always face the other way. Yeah. Let's end the show right there. All right. All right.

That was PKA episode 308. All hail Trump. All hail Trump indeed. Yes, and check out the sponsors. Kyle, do we have any post reads or anything? I don't think so. I can make 100% sure within just a few seconds here, but I'm pretty positive we don't think so I can like make 100% sure within just a few seconds here but I'm pretty positive we don't

as I scroll up don't do this don't do that nope we're all good alright PKA 308