Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #310

Episode Date: December 2, 2016

This week on PKA, the guys talk turkey before Thanksgiving, discuss some interesting sex toys, give their thoughts on hunting and talk Call of Duty.

Five, Pinkular Ready, episode 310, the Thanksgiving edition. Gobble, gobble, we have a few sponsors today. We have Smart Mouth, my favorite, returning again. Tracker, Tracker, Nature Box, Audible, and Movement Watches. We'll talk about those guys later on in the show. There are, of course, links down in the description below from which you can find them and research them. But let's get right into this happy Thanksgiving show.

I almost didn't make it. I was sitting on the toilet having one of my much talked about violent shits when woody texted me and was like kyle it's time to do pka and i was just like ah no like i took the fastest shower i've ever like it was a violent shower like i was worried every point of the way that my nails were like gonna like scratch a corny or something as i scrubbed furiously but i got down here and we're good to go i took advantage of this start i slept until like 9 51 for the 10 a.m start and then got up and got out here and i'm glad kyle that you didn't come up with a a chiz-esque as we'll now call it excuse of yeah you know you have your your

wednesday morning movie tradition uh you just said no i forgot i fucking forgot we were doing pka sorry i'm late let's get it going i really like no fucking excuse it was literally like i even went to bed quite early last night so early that i woke up a couple times in the night had to put myself back to sleep like i got i went to bed at like a 10 30 p.m 11 p.m last night like i got 10 or 11 10 or 10 or 11 hours of sleep last night so there's just no excuses i just forgot the fucking show yeah i was trying to be nice so i was like you must have been up really late you're like no no went to bed at like 8 45 about 12 and a half hours of sleep no excuse just laziness laziness and forgetfulness i was glad that you were late because um i was like 10 minutes maybe

maybe 15 minutes late and the fact that you were 30 minutes I was like 10 minutes, maybe 15 minutes late. And the fact that you were 30 minutes late really means we didn't wait on me at all. I wasn't late. You're not late unless you're the one. Unless you count that soup you ate once I already got here. You really enjoyed that. You weren't eating morning soup, were you? Because that's disgusting. It was actually cereal.

Okay. That's good. Nobody's like, oh, let's get this day started with a big hot bowl soup it started off right are there any morning meals that you do like just think are gross that other people eat because like cold cereal was always my breakfast as a kid like it was just always cold cereal like and so like hot A big hot meal makes me nauseous if I eat it in the morning. If I eat one of those big breakfast burritos, I'm sick 30 minutes later. They can be a lot. I feel like

breakfast diet really goes out the window. The cereal I had is clearly just milk and candy. There's this thing called a breakfast bar that my wife will... I have a breakfast bar. It's the easiest, like, thing for her to, like, satisfy her hunger with. Dude, they're candy bars.

I don't eat them. Like, that is just obviously... It's granola stuck together with fruit and lots of sugar with more sugar. Yeah, it's just compressed cereal shavings with sugar and cream in there. And it says, like, special K, low calorie compared to a fucking Snickers. Yeah, high protein. Yeah, high protein. It's got, like, six grams in there and it says like special k low calorie compared to a fucking snickers yeah high protein it's got like six grams that shit would never fly for a lunch or a dinner yet like breakfast can be anything so look at uh next time you're in one of like a gas station one of those stores and they have those breakfast bars just pick up a regular size snicker and look at what it has in there compared to those breakfast bars because I've done that before

and successfully rationalized to myself like fuck this I'm just going to get a Snickers I can deal with another 15 calories and I actually get two more grams of protein because of these fucking peanuts like this is the better option at this point like it's still not a good breakfast

if I know I'm about to burn off these calories I've been taking anyway then just pour garbage in there right like if i'm about to work like physically for four or five or six hours i'm gonna drink a immediate one is medium size not a 20 ounce maybe but like a 16 ounce red bull and a full candy bar and that's all getting burnt right off that's the motto of the cleveland cavaliers and it's working for them i Oh, fuck. I meant the Browns. I ruined the joke. I ruined it. The Cavaliers are good. Fuck. I was wondering.

I was like, well, then it's a pretty good breakfast because they're a good team. I don't eat any breakfast ever, really, unless someone makes it for me. The only time I eat breakfast is if I'm at my grandparents' house because she makes these enormous country breakfasts where it's like six pounds of bacon, more beef tenderloin than you know what to do with, so many eggs, fried okra, biscuits, and homemade gravy. And it's just like, this is how, in God's name, did Grandpa eat this every morning for 55 years

and still be a farmer? Well, he was going right out there burning it off. That's the he was but the i i just i can't eat a big breakfast or i just want to go back to bed like i usually wait till about 1 or 1 30 p.m to eat in the day before i eat anything but that's also a bad habit because then you get hungry at like 10 p.m at night and you eat stupid shit late yeah um i i got a weird eating and sleep schedule i guess like it's not uncommon for me to starve myself all day long until dinner, if we're going to eat at 6 or 7 p.m. and then do something crazy.

I almost never eat breakfast, but I rarely eat lunch. I usually don't eat lunch. I usually eat one meal at dinner. And then, of course, at nighttime, things get crazy. I usually do three meals a day without snacks, although I have snacked at night last day or two. Last night was a mess. But it's not enough.

I need to eat even less. I did. I didn't do the bowl. I told these guys already. So my living room with the fireplace going all the time now is so warm and cozy that it knocks me out. It's like a sleeping pill. So I must've slept from like, I'll call it seven to 10. And then I put on the Lord of the Rings trilogy extended edition. I made it through two thirds of it, you know,

in and out of sleep. And, uh, I had, we had snacks that we don't normally keep in the house. I told my wife, I'm like, get the stuff that we consider too sinful for the house, for the UFC 205 fights with Conor McGregor. And we had it left over. So there was like two glasses of soda and Doritos. And I had that and I watched Lord of the Rings and I'm a bad person. That's it. You can't do that.

What a mad lad. What did you do last night, Frisco? That's it. You can't do that. What a mad lad. What did you do last night, Crisco? I fucked two whores and drank a fifth of vodka. Man, I feel bad. What about you, Gamertag? I had two cans of Dr. Pepper and several Doritos before I turned into the Lord of the Rings last night. It was a bit wild.

It wasn't even diet, Dr. Pepper. I treated myself. It actually was diet, but it was diet like cream circle sodas. I was like, get good sodas. Ones that come in a bottle. I want it to come in a bottle, and I want it to be something I don't see all the time. No Pepsi or Coke. I do that for myself every so often too because I really like trying those specialty sodas

where you go down the aisle, and it's not dr pepper coke pepsi it's like dr johnson's fucking cream elixir or whatever the name is and it's like they're always delicious oh my god only time that i get regular so i don't get the diet cream sodas because that's just a that's a fucking tease like you got to get regular cream soda oh i would drink that all day she made a mistake in buying the diet version after i got on like one of these diet and she had gotten like eight you know two fours she's like take the hint she was very no she was surprised and apologetic but um the thing about especially sodas that come in a bottle are so much better and i've learned the reason why you guys might know the carbonation is accurate if they put it in a plastic thing or a can, then they overcarbonate it because the carbonation slowly like creeps out and it's not sealed tight. So you're either getting it overcarbonated or slightly flat.

But in a bottle, it remains perfect just like they want it to be throughout until you pop the cap. So you have to get it in a glass bottle. And I find like, dude, even like Pepsi in a glass bottle and i find like dude even like pepsi in a glass bottle to me is like a treat whereas if i just get it like some other time i don't drink a lot of pepsi or coke but in a bottle it's good get it yeah i like to get the uh the mexican coke um it's in a taller uh i think maybe a half liter bottle it's in a taller skinnier bottle and they use real uh cane sugar instead of corn syrup. And then, of course, the carbonation thing is probably true too.

Although I wonder if they're using that filthy Mexican water to brew it with, which would really kind of – Extra seasoning. But I'm sure the process of brewing it is getting all – At some point it gets really hot, right? All the germs are gone, maybe. You think they're pasteurizing Coca-Cola? I think they may be. you drink mexican water now like when i was a kid

montezuma's revenge was like a thing and it was all over everything mexican like of course if you drank the water you're just asking for it but people who forgot to say no ice would also get like that dangerous water poison that was in there that the mexicans had somehow developed uh a resistance to like the guy in princess bride right but but for us it would it would get you good is that still true i feel like it was when i was 10 because when i was 10 i went to mexico with my family on a vacation and we went on one of the nights we did that stupid thing that white people do when they go to those resorts and they're like hey let's let's leave this nice resort and go to a

local restaurant and see how the actual mexicans live i'm sure they won't be quietly resentful at us the whole time and so you we went and we sat down and i shit you not the table next to us there was like an eight-year-old girl with a giant mug of beer in front of her that she was just casually drinking i'm like man i am in mexico this is crazy and they brought out like you know the little you get your soda and then you get a little cup of water and just absentmindedly throughout the dinner i had been drinking the water there and my mom was like near the end of it like taylor have you been drinking the water we talked about not drinking the water oh you know and she's talking to my dad

being like taylor's gonna be so sick we we have to go back to the you know we have to make sure he's okay we need to do everything and you know go get those little pills that they told us about at the place for like you know if you drink a bunch of water take this fucking pill and you won't die probably and probably we we decided not to do that because my dad's like stop fucking freaking out he's gonna be fine my mom was like well we have to you know there's germs in there taylor just just drink this whole glass of wine to to kill all the germs in your stomach and even as like a 10 year old i'm like i don't know i don't know about that medieval times shit right here mom are you sure this grog is gonna kill the demons i just ingested

it was like i was still at that age where like as i was sipping it down like i had no concept of like alcohol makes you feel different i was just like god this tastes horrible like mom can i please not drink the rest of this she's like you have to finish that whole glass of wine and so i finished this whole glass of wine guzzling it down then kind of just felt bad for a couple seconds because you know being 10 full glass of wine in your stomach that's quite a bit of alcohol and now i think that's probably the first time i ever felt the buzz. But I did not. I didn't get sick.

So there you go. It must have worked. The glass of wine saved me from Mexican germs. Kyle's looking around, darting his eyes as though he doesn't think that's true. I don't think it's possible. I feel like PKAMD should be a thing. We could just give out really shitty medical advice all the time. I'm pretty sure it's from bacteria, right?

It's not possible. It's from bacteria and some kind of problem with their water treatment. There's probably poop bacteria in there, E. coli or something, right? So I think they call it traveler's diarrhea. But, like, even if you drank pure rubbing alcohol, it's not going to get to all that bacteria you've ingested that's already, like, absorbed into your mouth and, like, sublingually and into your throat like it's in you now it's in your bloodstream

and i also i don't know what the actual alcohol amount is that you need to kill germs but you're not going to kill any germs i don't think with wine or beer no probably not like even like 80 proof like the standard 40 vodka that you see in the store i i don't even know if that's strong enough what about grog though like back the day, they had the grog that they would drink on the ships. It's a little alcohol mixed with the water to make sure that it doesn't go bad or whatever. How much alcohol are they adding to that water?

That's a good point. Rum. I feel like you guys are ignoring experiment results all over the place. There's two that are in my head. One, Taylor said it was still a thing when he was 10, yet, according to his experiment, not a thing when he was 10, yet according to his experiment, not a thing when he was 10 because he was fine. Two, or the other side of it is the wine actually worked. We're all dismissing it as impossible, yet the experiment results suggest that it did.

Maybe you get a 10-year-old drunk and they don't complain about their upset stomach. Okay, there's a lot of ways to interpret this data. Bigger trial study, I think. We've only got the one patient right now. If there's anyone listening here who's 10 years old, we need a lot of drunk 10-year-olds in Mexico.

Probably not hard to find. $50 could get you a full trial study going. A dozen kids, a dozen kids, a keg of beer, all theican water you could choke down so we were talking about whether the the wine mixes in your belly or this is somehow the other night i was researching whether when you come in a woman if it come like in me in my mind just out of like a certain kind of common sense i I guess I'll call it, if it drips out shortly afterwards, then that lowers her chance of getting pregnant, right?

P-K-A-M-D right here. Sure. Right? Yeah, because the cum is no longer in her, and you need that to happen for her to get pregnant. Right. It seems like that would just intrinsically be true. But it turns out that the actual truth, according to the internet, But it turns out that the actual truth, according to the internet, is that the sperm leaves like the rest of the ejaculate in a relative hurry.

And in only a minute or two, it's working its way up to the cervix and the egg. And that all that stuff dripping out. Now, let's assume that 10 seconds isn't enough, but in like one to three minutes, something like 90% of the sperm is on its way up there trying to make a baby. Yeah. Well, I think douching used to be like a somewhat effective birth control method because Lysol used to make those douches, like Lysol-branded douches. And you'd remember, I'm getting my information from Boardwalk Empire right now because that's what Nucky's Catholic squeeze was doing. She had those Lysol douches, and only later was she able to acquire a title. Oh, she got that clean linen smell, pussy.

Oh, it's great. Fresh sheets. Smells like a laundromat in this bitch's face. Smells like a... I go down on her, it's like a sparkling bathroom. Truly a bounty. Like a... A kitchen counter.

That's pretty horrible that women were Lysol-ing their own clans. I don't know the contents of a Lysol douche. It was just Lysol branded. I like to imagine there wasn't any bleach in there, but who knows? I'll find out right now. Let's see these Lysol douche contents. Let's find out what they were putting in there.

I'm hoping it was just vinegar. I feel like teenagers get some bad information about pregnancy, right? They should tell you, look, if you have sex, there's like a 5% chance. So if you do it 20 times, you know, especially given that you're both like young, healthy, and incredibly fertile because you're whatever, 18, you know, if you do it 20 times, you'll probably make a baby. Just know that going into it. Otherwise, use some sort of birth control. But instead, they're like, you're going to make a baby. You're absolutely fucked. Precum can make a baby. Coming anywhere near the vagina, it'll swim its way in and make a baby.

It's just like, dude, let's give them some accurate info because I don't know. Because then you turn like whatever, 27 or something, and you're trying to make a baby. And all of a sudden, you're like taking temperature and other bullshit to maximize your chances. Whatever. Sex ed should be less propaganda and more facts. I think the temperature thing works, but I think there is a ton of propaganda in there.

That's how you figure out ovulation. I'm sure you know this shit. I wasn't saying it doesn't work. I was saying they make it seem like babies are like you're just absolutely fucked if yeah you do anything oh 95 degrees we're safe we're in the safe let's go but but then you know you come 27 actually want to have a baby i just picked a number out of the air then um you know all of a sudden you realize that like oh there's some like fucking chemistry

involved here to make this go of course not always i don't know sex ed is it we're embarrassed to teach sex ed it seems like like they won't even show kids how to put a condom on which i've just i still don't understand like why are they we're not teaching kids how to put condoms on did you see the youtube video where the guy teaches how to put a sock on it's uh he does it really cool. What? Yes. Roll it down. Check that reservoir toe tip. Reservoir toe tip.

What they did is they made it so that you couldn't teach kids how to put a condom on in his school district or state or whatever it was. So he's like, all right, I can't teach you guys how to put a condom on, but I am going to show you how I put a sock on. And he rolls the sock up like a condom and, you know, puts a little reservoir tip. He's like, I need room for my toes.

And then, you know, he rolls it up the foot and around the ankle and stuff. And it's just like putting a condom on, but he uses a sock. Don't leave room for your toes. You'll have lots of baby feet running around, so be careful with that. You'll need a whole lot more socks to feel ever had a sock sponsor i don't think so i think we have one right now um but that we haven't they haven't like come into the like being on the show thing yet because i got my socks the other day um i was wearing them yesterday on the show i had these yoda socks um they're long socks they're really nice i don't recall the brand. It's like Vance or Lance.

I've noticed Kyle's getting all the swag now. It used to come to me. I got the wet platinum. I don't have any socks. I got four pair. I think I have a couple PKA articles of clothing that aren't from Spreadshirt. They're from another

start and stop that we were doing. I don't know. I would just get merch every so often. It's usually not something to die for or anything. Yeah. These are really nice socks, actually. They're individually packaged. Each pair is individually packaged,

and that package is in a larger package. So there were a red, white, and blue pair, and then a pair with Yoda on them, which I've been wearing a lot. I assume they're a sponsor. It said like PKA something or another on the box. Maybe it was just a fan that sent me some socks. It's hard to say.

Yeah, every so often I get something that I didn't buy, and I'm like, all right, treat this one carefully. You know, the sunglasses were an example. You know, like this could be a sponsor. You don't know. Or sometimes fans send things. And, yeah, you don't know. But usually the fan stuff, it comes with a letter and whatever. I have a topic. sponsor you don't know or sometimes fans send send things and yeah you don't know but usually

the fan stuff is it comes with a letter and whatever i have a topic what you got so in the uk the bill hasn't passed yet but there is a bill they are trying to pass having to do with outlawing a huge range of sex acts and sadly this article list it's not in bullet point format but i can try to glean together a list by it by scanning um two of the things they mentioned at the top of the article no female ejaculation which i know we talked about this before but i'm not budget on this one it's p so two things about that one i think it's mostly 95% pee. But there's a little something else in there. And in some women, it only happens when they ejaculate. However, in porn, from what I understand, what women who are unable to actually squirt do is they'll put douche water in their pussy.

And then when it's time to film that part of the scene, they'll squeeze it all out with a lot of ferocity. Really? I always thought they would just pee like in porn like i thought it was mostly just piss right because the thing that comes out in a stream it wouldn't if they just douched and held all that water in their badge it wouldn't they wouldn't be able to watch the little stream right i've watched a lot of pornography um it's it's not the same. It doesn't look like the same biological function as urinating to me. It looks like it's like boom.

Yeah, that's like the one where there's the dude rubbing her clam and then it's just not. It's just all over the place. I hear you, but to me it's just pee interrupted, right? Like, oh, yeah, it's not the same biological function as pee. And I hear where you're coming from, but I think pee might look like that if I was doing this while she was... Well, he released it, and then it goes crazy.

It'd be like the same thing as if someone was giving me a handjob while I'm peeing, which doesn't sound pleasant. It just seems like it would make a mess and be very unpleasant. I don't think... I can't speak for... Water sports are not my thing. I am... I don't know – I can't speak for – water sports are not my thing. I don't know.

I just see it. I think about the cleanup. I think about getting pee on me. It's not something that does it for me. It's not my cup of tea. I don't think I want anybody peeing on me. I could probably pee on somebody though. I think that would be kind of funny.

I'm fine with that because I'm not getting peed on. If someone says, hey, will you i'm not gonna be rude i'm gonna have to go i you know i i've thought about this though and um one i would really prefer to do it in the shower right because then there's really no cleanup involved if you want to if you want me to pee on you and you're laying on my bed we need to have a conversation you know like south park fuck me on this table pee on me and oh i remember that yeah you really couldn't do it unless you're in the shower because the whole time you would just be concerned with the mess and that is by the way the um the ramp up like if if if one of them's into water sports and the other isn't then the shower is like uh you know the little League version of peeing on someone. That's how you get started and see if this is something that you guys can work up into.

So are you talking about – I'm not sure what you're talking about. Are you saying that if you're just getting started in water sports, you and your partner would go in the bathroom and maybe you'd tinkle on her leg to get things started? Because in my mind – and I'm not into water sports. It's not something that I do in my private life. In my mind, if you're hardcore into it, you're like, alright baby, let's hit the shower. It's time to go.

I've just had 64 ounces of Big Gulp. You're in for a real mess. You can only get these drink sizes in America. We're about to do some damage here. I'm about to pop. You better get on your knees and get in that fucking shower. Get your historical, bitch.

This is what I'm curious about. Oh, why? No, I want to pee in her mouth. See, that's the thing. See, all this like – see, that's the thing, though. I think if you're just peeing on some girl's leg, you're not into water sports, and neither is she. It's not until she's mouth agape and you're filling it up until it brims with urine, and it's overflowing. And then she gargles it a little and then swallows it.

This is yucky for me, Justin. No, I actually thought— Or straight from your dick. Obviously. I've seen where they'll put his dick in the girl's mouth, and slowly her cheeks get bigger and bigger as he fills her up. And then he pulls it out, and he dribbles a little on her chin, and he's like, show us what you got. And she's like— You have seen a

lot more porn than me i've never watched like i've never really watched pee porn um and i don't understand do they want it to be like athlete like drink a bunch of water all day so it comes out clear almost or do they want like you're dehydrated and like maybe a little bit of an alcoholic and like it's just like orange it depends like i think it depends on what kind of what you're getting out of the the the p right like there are some girls who are like yeah fucking bathe me in your piss i want it um then there's sometimes where it's more of a humiliation porn kind of thing it's like yeah you dirty whore now you get pissed on have some piss and then sometimes it's like you know even the cameraman's in on he's like yeah you dirty whore you take that piss and there's like five guys all pissing from different directions

like a bukkake and and like halfway through it you can tell that she's like i made a bad career decision somewhere along the way oh fuck that guy oh sorry oh i should have tried harder i'll just keep keep majoring in english literature it'll be be fine, they said. It'll be okay. People want you to analyze old books more. My wife will major in English lit. Yeah, no, so for me, what I thought water sports was really going to be about was like pissing on like the face and stuff. I'll admit like if you piss shin down or whatever, then that's – I don't know. That's jellyfish wound treatment, not porn.

But pissing on the face, I didn't realize it had to go in her mouth. It's really yucky for me just to even think about it. I just want it to. Okay. That's my preference. That's not a requirement for the sexual act or anything. That's just where I want it. We still have the rest of the alcohol.

If you're going to do it, go whole hog. If you're going to do a pee thing, don't just kind of dribble on her leg get her on her knees and piss all over or maybe you are the one who enjoys the pee and you lay down on the bath and she squats over you i guess and pisses you imagine the moments leading up to that where like you can feel the warmth from the vagina on your face and she's like squatting getting the right angle and and maybe she's never squat peed before and she's not quite sure about what that what which direction the urine's gonna come and you're both kind of like and it just hits you in the forehead full that doesn't sound fun at all i don't want to get peed on also no i don't want to get peed on either it doesn't seem like a fun

sex thing the whole boner peeing thing like i don't get the same powerful stream because it's like constricted or something and then of course it's arching like a rainbow and oh you've got to really squeeze you got to squeeze your abdominal muscles really hard huh i heard stern talking about this the other day because they were talking about gay porn um when like the guys were pissing each other's asses and uh the guys in the back watch this oh you haven't seen this so the guys in the back like richard christie and them yeah i'll get there the guys in the back of the third show they watch a lot of gay porn because they pick out these ridiculously disgusting moments and then like play the audio because sometimes the audio alone from these pornos is just mad um so they're watching this clip where

the guy's getting peed in his butt and howard's like but how do you pee if you've got an erection and i'm like i can pee if i've got an erection? And I'm like, I can pee if I've got an erection. Like, you just gotta squeeze your abdominal muscles and really focus and, like, open whatever's been constricted to keep your urine out of your dick, and you could totally pee with a heart. Well, you wake up every morning with an erection for the most part, and then the first thing you have to do

in the morning is go pee. So for me, my first pee of the day has to be with a boner. Usually it's in the shower, but if it's not, you have to do that thing where you lean up against the wall and try and get some angle where you can point it down and start peeing. You guys don't lay across the side

of the toilet sideways like Superman? What are you thinking? Mount the toilet? That's just me? I get up on it and I mount it like butter is the way he uses the toilet where he's got the shelf. As you pee, as you pee with an erection, you don't pee. By the time you're done peeing with a boner, you don't still have a boner.

At least I don't. I noticed that when you're peeing with an erection, by the end, you're at least down to semi. Just think about it. Everybody out there, leave a comment. When you have an erection. Please leave a comment. the end you're you're at least down to semi like you're it because you know you're not you're just think about it everybody out there leave a comment when you have an erection and you please leave do you usually get down to plastic or at least semi-plastic by the time you're done peeing or are you still erect because i see a doctor if you're still erect after that anyway they're taking their hard cock they're fucking the guy's butt and then like mid-fucked you're like oh i bet you'd like some of this and they're like, like, gaping his asshole open and then, like, tinkling inside, just filling his butthole cavity up with the piss, you know, because it's gaping wide from the fucking.

And then he's, like, shooting the piss out of his ass and stuff. It's wild. That's disgusting. Yeah. Who's having fun? I don't know because I don't want't want, Howard's like, what about the guy who got his asshole pissed in? Does he, like, turn around and hit him?

And Richard's like, no, he likes it. It's just like, yeah, they're both into this. Like, the guy who's getting his asshole peed in most likely enjoys that, and doing the pissing, like, I mean, it's not like they're making the big bucks there. They're not millionaires. Do you think they know immediately, like, the guy who's getting plowed, or Do you think they know immediately? Like the guy who's getting plowed? Or do you think there's a slight delay of like he starts to feel a little something

and he's like, are you pissing in my asshole? I think it's choreographed, right? He's like, alright, now it's time for the asshole pissing. Alright, get in position, Jared. Carl, get behind him. You ready to piss? Alright, here we go. I think it's real coordinated with porn and not sexy at all. I think that's the challenge for men is that you've got to maintain

an erection throughout like all right cut all right let's towel her down touch up her makeup let's let's get that shit stain off the bed and let's re let's relight and the whole time he's gonna be standing there like all right just focus just focus just fuck some more don't come though don't come don't come like it's gotta be the hardest job ever yeah it would be way harder to be the porn star well actually not not in all cases in that way it would be by like staying prepared yeah but in the way of like getting a call like i'm sure most days as a male porn star like i've heard that a lot of them have to be gay off the start but they'll get a call i guess once they make it into straight land and be like hey you have to fuck this lady and maybe pee in her mouth.

But those big lady porn stars, like, hey, we got a job for you today. We got 60 guys here all horned up and ready to go. We need you to come in. Just look awful. Look awful and sickly and make sure your hairs are tousled. If you can come in a little drunk, we'd prefer that. You will too. And then you just, yeah, we're just just gonna have you get fucked six to ten hours

And and we'll see how that goes you read like that that seems terrible to like you have to we need you to pretend that You enjoy all of these you know part-time laid-off blockbuster workers jacking off into your face like that It's all those are the worst porn videos ever is when you click on something you very quickly realize that it's like an odd Cult in the back room of some Quiznos and there's a bunch of people gathered around and there's one, you know, six out of ten who's just clearly being paid a mess.

Pizzas on the shelves and stuff. Marinara sauce all about. You're like, I think I eat at that place. Damn. Oh, Jesus. I don't know. I like the porn industry i find it really fascinating you know i i find the stuff about the condom laws and the std stuff fascinating you know the whole mindset of the actors is my is fascinating the the the economics of it how there are some women

who seem to really uh rise to the top and then make it their own thing and find a way to like get their own website or their own uh production or whatever, like Jenna Jameson or whatever. That stuff's interesting to me. And then, of course, the awful things that they do that people want to see. One of them did an AMA on Reddit just recently, and I recognized her name. And for me to recognize a porn star's name means that she's probably done a lot of work. I don't know every obscure like i'm not one of those catalog people hey reagan it wasn't her i don't think oh that's my

favorite oh okay um no this person had an asian name i forget it exactly but anyway um she was saying that like one of the things that she found difficult to do is like first she got this job and then she did it and she had to convince herself or like sort of change herself to be someone who liked the job like and uh it tied into something area aspen said which was like that's kind of why she got out of it she's like i tried to act like it wasn't like hurting her her soul but um in reality it kind of was and she didn't like it and she had to stop like they would do a shoot and then afterwards they'd just be like you know oh my god like this is something that she wished she never did and uh but this i bet they can fuck with you over time

like just mentally maybe because like when you're having sex with someone like stuff's released that like kind of connects you to that person more and you form more interpersonal relationships and like maybe it is i don't know maybe just you get you get mixed up and confused about shit if you've fucked 600 people in a year and like you just start to feel like maybe you're not valuable unless you're getting fucked or maybe you're not valuable because all you're doing is getting fucked or you're having that chemical thing of like you know like connecting to that guy but that guy is very much rejecting you during the act you know like oh you like that bitch oh this and then he like kicks her like that sort of kicks her stupid whore

some of my stuff i didn't finish my kicker out. Kyle's reserved. I'm kind of thinking. Changing the wrong one. What I was saying, the kicks are out. There was a scene where, or Aspen, a guy was doing her doggy style, but he had his foot on her ear.

He was kind of holding her head down. It's a hard position to maintain. She didn't like it. She didn't like it. She didn't like it. It hurt her feelings, for lack of a better term. And I'm like, man, you know, like it, I don't know. In all this, like there was no need to hurt feelings in this thing. Why couldn't, I guess some scenes are about that.

But, all right. Yeah, if that was the thing, like I don't think that any guy in mid-fuck just organically goes for the foot-on-face maneuver. I think that's something that the director is saying, all right, this is called the foot-face way. Yeah. And we're going to film this, and you just got to slap your foot on there and fuck her, and sorry, whatever your name is. You just have to – this is your scene here. Actors don't like portraying Nazis. Now you got to get fucked with a foot on your face.

On the UK restrictions, there's a four finger rule where you cannot put, it limits the digits that can go into an orifice. Now I'm not sure what the four finger rule means. Four fingers is good or four fingers has broken the limit. But certainly no fisting that

much we know um i just clicked a link it was called the head stomp compilation uh hyphen rough sex if you're on x videos so there's a lot of the uh the head on the face maneuver she's enjoying it no penetration by any object associated with violence so ah lame i guess you can't have sex with guns or baseball bats or knives stabbing weapons god i wouldn't want to have a knife in there anyway that's a number two reference knives and stabbing weapons ah okay kyle really does outdo us in the pool i've definitely seen knives in there A girl sent me a picture one time and she had a butchered knife Her legs are spread And it's straight at her

And it's waist down But she's got a butchered knife stabbed into the floor right in front of her pussy Turned sideways so you can't see it And I'm like, turned on but terrified I'm not sure what to say Is this a threat of Don't get it near me or I'll lop it off Or is this like, look how hardcore and sexy I am?

Because you're not hitting either one perfectly. You just get rid of the knife. Yeah, you kind of hit the middle there. That's just a miss. Yeah. Do you ever find yourself in those situations where you've been looking at porn? And you know that the entire process of looking at porn isn't actually sitting and looking. It's a frantic search for the one thing that you think that you need

where it's like no this will never do you know there's a thousand blowjobs better than this and then you like do you ever find it where like it's been like 15 minutes like you're completely not in the mood anymore you didn't finish you're just not even going at it you've just begun like a research and there's someone like hogtied on one of those sibians sabians and there's like there's there's like one person there's just one lady in the scene and there's like six animatrons doing all sorts of things to her and it's like this is this is odd this is strange i don't know i don't like that i don't like any point where you can't insert yourself into it which is why it's kind of hard to watch like lesbians because it's like who am I in this like if this is a real

if this fantasy went down I'm still the guys sitting there watching like they they clearly have no interest in Venus like that's that's not good you something where you can be like all right yeah there's the there's the dick in the girl that's where I would be you know the dick I think hypothetically I would open like seven or eight tabs right so i have like a menu of um you know of films to flip they're like ah this isn't where this sucks this is better this is whatever and then and then you know like i don't know if everyone does this but i'm like the one that i finished to it's like yeah you must be proud you're a special little lady

there were hundreds of videos I could have chosen from, and I picked you. You should be flattered. In a way. There should be, instead of a thumbs up or a thumbs down, there should be a splat of cum you click if that's the one you finish to. Like, I always go to the most commented porn videos. That's what I was about to say. But if there was a button for like most came to maybe i'd go to that one too

but what i do is i go to a big website i prefer x it's like you see letter x and then the word hamster like the little critter um but it's nothing weird about animals i people get a little weirded out about that it's just their mascot they got a cute little cartoon hamster as their mascot um and they have a nice mixture of hardcore pornography and HD content. Both at the same time, which is hard to find elsewhere. A lot of places still have 720p or like 320

and stuff like that. No, we're going full screen 4K if we can. Like Naughty America will hook you up with that if you want to pay. That's what I do. But I go to XHamster, then scroll all the way down to the bottom left and click most commented, and then change that to seven days or 30 days

if it's been a while since I've been online. You know? And you get the top commented things on this huge porn site over a month? Ah, man, you got to think about it. If someone's taking the time to go... That was some wild fucking shit. When he shat on the turtle and it carried it across the scene the

whole time i you know whatever madness it was that gets more people to comment on that video than any uh any of the others i didn't know you could do that with the traffic cone you know there you go yeah like little things that they say ah you know i'm instantly creating some cool stuff in my head like all right traffic cone sure traffic cone. Sure, sure, sure. Not a problem. Put like some, like, Reynolds wrap, like, you know, in the top. A lube. Get the cone going.

I feel like I could do shit with a cone. There's plenty of traffic cone porn. They use the big ones. I don't believe you. Sometimes. I think you're messing with me. No, I have a. That's a thing.

I'm almost positive Kyle has linked it to me before. Really? Yeah. Almost positive. I got that saved in a tab. I got that saved in a tab. You know what they should do to rate the porn is they should have it be

whichever ones were exited out of the most. So like the one that you finish on. So like if you get to a video and then the person exits out on that video that gets like a a golden x i feel like that gets you the range right that is both videos that have been fired for lack of performance and promoted for incredible performance but i don't think i think you'd mostly get promoted once because if the person's like this isn't good they're not gonna go abandoned porn x they're gonna go uh let's go back let's try you know i'm like all right belly dancing

or whatever you boring person are you talking cameraman you think you're my only option there's seven more tabs open i came prepared all right i'm going to speculum fuckers 101 that's that's much better than this kyle just linked a video of not only someone having sex with a traffic cone but apparently just doing it on the side of the road where the traffic cone was yeah yeah she goes to the cone that's how she gets it down she doesn't bring the cone to her she goes out into the world finds herself a partner a cone if you will and just she's just squatting over it and just uh up down. She's really going to town on it. Not a bad looking girl. My video's not loading. Oh.

Well, there's an... It's called Crazy Slut Fucks a Road Cone. You're looking for it on Pornhub. Yeah. Let's see. There actually are... Like, in the related videos, there's a lot of traffic cone action going on here. Yeah, this is not a rarity.

I thought that it would be a guy fucking the hole in the cone not a woman in the entire cone i i get worse than that i really did this wrong uh kitty's cousin jj was living in san francisco for a while and during the gay pride parade like he's from uh england uk so he didn't know anything about the gay pride parade and it going down on this day etc etc and he's in san francisco's like gay capital of the earth i would say he saw a man have sex with a fire uh uh hydrant he was the receiver i assume he sat down on a hydrant fire hydrant in the street and some portion of that large uh fire hydrants come in all shapes and sizes i suppose but there are no fire hydrants that are the correct size for a man's asshole the

bolt on the top seems roughly on target god damn that that that oh that's like a one and a half incher it's smaller in my head go into the special room to get that wrench like have you ever have you ever been to a sex shop and seen the dildo section and just seen the big hexagon you haven't because that's not something that people see and go ah i want to cram this hexagon you know not something that eases in like i don't know a dick like that starts at a point and it goes to like no i just want to start with a flat hexagon, cram it in there. Like I'm just a lug nut.

Well, it sounds like you haven't discovered the sex toy section of ace hardware. Oh yeah. You don't use threaded dildos. Do you feel uncomfortable when you go? Cause I'm sure you've all gone into sex shops with significant others. Do you feel it's, do you feel weird going in those shops? Or do you play it off to like you're so confident that it's like you try and make other people feel uncomfortable?

That's what I try and do. I don't know if it works. I'm always on the stage where I can make other people feel weird. Yeah, I know. Picking up things that are intentionally too crazy just to show the other people, like, yeah, that guy's not afraid to show it to you. Look at this big saddle we can bring up. No? All right.

You don't have a sex swing? I've got a sex swing. You hook it up from everything. Got a couple of. Do you really have a sex swing? Yeah. Yeah. The problem with the sex swing in my head is, like, visitors and stuff.

I don't know. Okay. So let me help. So this thing, you know know you unhook it and it all crumples down to something about this big what does it hook you know the top of the door or something or i hook mine up too i have a chin-up bar um and it's also the kind of thing you like put your back onto it and grab two things and you can do like leg raises and stuff it's i don't know how to describe this piece of equipment i've also got um and what i've also used is my um my heavy bag uh stand you know i've got i've got a legit like

really one of the really big heavy bag stands that has the legs and then the top kind of comes out and does one of these and you hook to that just one hook point um and you know your lady is like suspended in zero g in front of you they're just kind of in multiple positions i would mine off amazon um it was uh like a hundred dollars or something like that when i first seemed like it'd be a lot of fun on amazon i was like can you believe amazon sells it now it's like yeah that's that's where you get shit discreet like amazon is where i buy everything you know i buy both the vibrator and the batteries there it's fantastic, everything comes from there. That's why I was going to say to Taylor is like, no, I honestly don't know if I've ever been into a like a sex store, porn shop, that kind of place.

Definitely strip clubs that would have like on the way out the door would have DVDs and stuff and maybe like random pocket pussies and shit for truckers. But I think all of my sex toys and everything were always purchased through Amazon or some other website. You know, maybe Amazon doesn't have the creepy fucking thing that I want. So you got to go to some other website. It's always sketchy. Like, that's something that's still in sex shops. Like, a huge section of DVDs with porn on it. And I just don't understand. Like, last time I was in one i saw a guy like

rifling through like had like five in his hand it's like what what why are you doing this why are you paying for this pornography like are you i i can't i don't understand it dvd player really like we we use the xbox you know when we want to play some old thing we bought but yeah mostly that's just not what we do when netflix first went to streaming like streaming was like an add-on with a very poor selection of shows and it was really about their dvd delivery service yeah i everyone was saying streaming would take over and i wasn't completely on board at the time now i i really am i just wish the selection was as good as the DVDs were yeah There was a time when like I found the idea of a digital content even you know like oh I don't own a hard copy of Call of Duty

I've just had a guy have it on my hard drive and and basically have a token that allows me to use it I didn't like that, but now I love it now I don't want people with discs like all my discs have been crammed into the same Xbox one thing and like shut Shut down really like eight discs in there like cuz I don't fuck it. They're just keys now. They're not games It's just permission to play the shit. I've got downloaded on my hard drive Yeah, I guess I'm thinking about the porn thing though. Why do you want these DVDs? I guess there's old-school guys who who want the the physical thing, you know There's still people who listen to pieces of vinyl, as they're called, vinyl records.

But maybe if you're in the UK, those DVDs are going to be worth something pretty soon, right? That's contraband because you can't get it streamed. Yeah, that's ridiculous. What are the big backstories? What's the backstory to the porn thing in the UK? Because that's ridiculous. It's a bill that's been proposed but not passed,

and they were describing it. That's all I really know. They were trying to pass the condom thing in california and that failed condom for porn yeah they wanted to make a condom required in california for porn which i think is where most of our porn comes from that's horrible like having to watch someone nobody wants to watch porn where someone's wearing a condom because it's like you're fantasizing about something that would still not be that great because condomsins it's like me fantasizing about being the greatest laser tag warrior like ever like just something useless and shit I'm just on porn for me oh they do for me

yeah they were doing sex they're horrible they don't think they don't ruin sex so I don't think they ruin sex but but they definitely ruin porn I will never ever ever watch a porn that involves a condom unless at the end he's gonna like take the condom off and she's gonna stick a straw in it or something like something weird like that like you better come up with something cool to do with that condom right like like you never thought of this yeah you just pop the condom off stick a straw in there got a little snack right there ready to go or or you can just continually come into the same one and freeze it constantly until you've got cum cubes.

And then you can do something with those cum cubes. In my world, the penis is already a straw. I see what you're saying. Yeah, this... Man, what world you live in. All that time, you really learn a lot of things. I didn't know i i saw this one guy was shitting into condoms and freezing them and then fucking his own ass with the hardened turds wasn't that on wasn't

that on 4chan years ago uh yeah i think so yeah yeah i think it was i remember now people are into it they're like oh you can freeze your turds fuck yourself with it perfect it's custom made dildo like it's banging on a budget. You see, people, this is what happens when we don't talk about politics. This is what happens. This is good shit right here. So what kind of pornography, if you are in charge of the world, would you

outlaw? Would you draw the line at consensual bestiality? Would you draw the line at simulated rapeual bestiality would you draw the line at simulated rape is that too much for you do you think that those uh scenes that that seem really derogatory toward women where there's lots of face spitting and slapping and head stomping going on even though it's consensual what would you outlaw if anything from the uh the world of porn obviously uh bestiality and uh it is illegal already in almost everywhere. Not in my world. I'm okay with

consensual bestiality. People have heard me say this before. If you're going to fuck a bear or I don't know, even a horse, then those things need to consent so we're good to go. If you're going to fuck a chicken, well, the chicken doesn't really get much say in it so I feel like that's wrong.

Yeah, you're just raping them. It's okay to eat to eat its babies but if you can convince a grizzly bear to have sex with you like you that at any point that grizzly bear could turn around and eat you if it doesn't like it and so if you complete then it clearly wasn't mine don juan the bear fucker over there better yeah yeah i mean anyone can seduce a grizzly bear i want to see you seduce a panda because those fuckers have no libido right If you can get a panda to want it, then you're really something special. No children. Now here's a question.

Is it okay to have animated child porn? Clearly no children were hurt. Are you encouraging pedophiles to not get past it? Or are you providing an outlet? I think that you're providing more of an outlet, I would think.

Right? Yeah, I'm okay with it as long as you don't get the child animated porn characters to be voiced by actual children. Is that an actual thing that's really big? Yeah. Child animated? Yeah.

Not a big, I don't know, but a decent thing. Well, like, Japanese hentai seems to, like, kind of border on that constantly. If you really look at it, you're like, Jesus Christ, like, it's so hard to find, like, Japanese hentai seems to, like, kind of border on that constantly. If you really look at it, you're like, Jesus Christ, like, it's so hard to find, like, normal vanilla Japanese animated pornography because they're just one little step away, one little flick of the mouse away from, like, blackmailing your grandma into fucking her with tentacles or something like that. Like, they're never too far away, the Japanese people. It's a razor's edge. Yeah, the squid porn is just right next to the standard penis and vajayjay porn.

It's like a resort in Haiti or something, the Dominican Republic, where you got the normal, nice, kind of structured place, and then right across that fence, you've got desolation and filth and a bunch of really depraved things i think i would make everything legal and fine other than obviously the stuff that's already illegal like child porn if you want to make cartoons of shit of whatever

do it i don't think it matters like just you know have the cartoons and you can't have sex with animals um unless it's we you'd it's the animal has to weigh more than you or have a defensive tool like claws or fangs or it has to be the fucker because there's lots of ladies who get fucked by dogs and stuff if the animal is the fuck-ee

if the person is the fuck-ee then I think that's fine I've seen women get fucked by dogs before and what's funny to me, like... Can I guess what you think is funny? Do you think it's funny when they put the socks on the dog's paws so they don't scratch? I knew you'd think that was funny! The dogs, they grab and hook the woman's waist, right?

So you know the woman's got that shape to her. They latch on and they're going like crazy too! So the woman will get all scratched up and it will hurt her sides. When they put socks on the dog, you can tell there's an experience level to this bestiality fetishist. It makes me laugh. Like, all right, this woman, this is not her first dog that's fucked her. The first time a mistake was made. Exactly.

And now the socks come out. And then she had the scars of shame on her hips, you know, at work for the rest of the week. Now she's able to do, dude, on my swim team, this is a long time ago, but a girl came in and she had like rug burn along,

like she was really thin. Every spine, like every spinal cord was just worn out. And you could tell she was fucked on some sort of surface, which wasn't good for skin. And, of course, she's on the swim team. Like, there's no hiding it. Like, everyone's seeing this. And I gave her the benefit of the doubt that perhaps this was caused by.

Collective rash. Like, I don't know. Like, you know, a rash, like some chair that she sat in class or who knows what. And I somehow, like, I don't know, people were giggling or talking about it or whatever. And she was real cool. She was just like, we got a little carried away. I was like, oh, well, what do you know? What do you know? This same girl, they gave tours on the USS Intrepid, like outside. I think it was in New York City or something like that. And she and her boyfriend snuck away and fucked in some, like, random cabin.

Like, there's a tour guide taking you through, but you can't go everywhere. So she found a private little room in the USS Intrepid and fucked there. And I was always envious of, still am really, of like that spot. Like that's a, like, you know, lots of people have done it in a closet or a wardrobe or this or that. But the USS Intrepid, that's some badass shit there. Like I like that. That is actually cool.

Yeah, that's my high club, which is just very difficult to get into because those bathrooms are cramped. You know, like you look at a bathroom in a plane, that's not a good place to fuck. That's just not allowing for much at all. It smells bad, too, typically. It doesn't smell good. No, it's a bit like a port-a-potty.

It's a port-a-potty in the air. It's not a good place. It seems like it would be more stress than pleasure, where it would be like you're shaken in a plane. You know there's probably some dude sitting out there that really needs to go to the bathroom, and you're already thinking in your head, how am i going to explain the reason that i'm in here with this girl and there's a bunch of rustling and clearly some some muffled sounds

we're all sweaty coming out meanwhile yeah you're all stressed out trying to keep your erection being like i gotta finish this because this is what we came here to do and then but it's taking you forever because you don't want to be fucking on a plane you probably have to use a condom so you it's just awful and what's her angle on this because i don't see her getting like at least in my experience with these things you know i wouldn't see her getting all the pleasure this is more of an act of service on her behalf it is because it's more like like if a woman tells you like i joined the mile high club you're just like ah so you just kind of slotted it up on the plane then did you but if a guy's like i joined the mile high club you're like ah you must have some slick willy moves if you oh yeah i've been laying

you just been you know throwing red meat out there trying to entice people but yeah it does seem like it's more of like a thing that women do for men like fine you are coming to see cats with me right yeah we're gonna go see fucking cats or uh lay miserable or something but well i hope uh the god emperor trump doesn't do anything to our pornography you know it seems like the sort of thing he might fall into as well that seems like something uh we could see out of him i hope not I don't want to mess with my pornography. I don't know. Did you guys see Boogie talk about coming on the show again? Uh-huh. Oh, it kind of hurt my feeling.

Like, someone asked him if he'd go on PKA again, and he said, and I don't want to misquote him, but it was something close to, maybe, eh, I don't know. Those guys were so pro-Trump. And then he, again, it's hard to quote him, he was like there you know trump trump trump this that whatever like he wasn't using like normal words and uh basically all the trump talk turned him off and from my standpoint it was like well one what about me and two yeah that's i don't know like i'm no giant trump fan but i find you know the tolerance for people that are you know yeah I'm able to tolerate Hillary Clinton fans and all

the like. It sounds like Boogie's just a bit intolerant to me. Look at the conversation we had with Hutch. I thought we had an excellent political conversation with Hutch. Hutch is very liberal, and I don't think at any point we got mad or shouty or we just... I mean, most of the time we weren't even talking about politics with Hutch, if I recall.

But, I don't know. i like having boogie on i hope yeah i like having boogie on too and when he was like i won't come back they like trump you know again what about me and too well that's just not very nice like that seemed intolerant to me i'm sure he'll be just i think his concern is that trump's gonna turn off his health care and he's gonna die that's not nice think his concern is that trump's gonna turn off his health care and he's gonna die that's not that's what he said oh did he um i'm sorry he did um and then the other thing is this and i know this like this is burned into me you say something and it's recorded and it becomes this like permanent unchangeable state of mind that yeah like you filled out a box on a tax form you meant it so much like like like what we're just i'm just

flying by my i've seen my pants here i might say some crazy fucking shit about jews tomorrow you know but no i'm just i'm looking for the funny and everything and sometimes it's it's wildly offensive it has nothing to do with how i actually feel about stuff boogie's answer came uh it was an unplanned question he got asked during a live stream. And then someone takes that section of it. I saw on the PKS I read it, which I'm trying to avoid, but I'm imperfect, so I just mostly avoid it. And anyway, I saw Boogie's reply there, and it was like, oh, well, that's a shame. But hopefully he only felt that way for a short period of time. That's okay either way.

I hope nobody turns off his health care, and I hope he doesn't die. Because I think that was his concern. Maybe because of those strong feelings about that sort of thing. He takes it much more seriously than we do perhaps. Because if Hillary Clinton gets elected, there's bad things. Then I'm like, ah, this could happen

and that could happen. That'd really suck. But with Donald Trump, he's like, but I'll die. Don't. I'll die. He'll turn off my health care and I'll die. Don't do it. So it sounds like he's got a little more flesh in the game. Yeah, I don't really know. I was thinking, because you can, any YouTuber

can look at another YouTuber's view counts and video length and such and guess-ish at his income. You know, we're just informed on how much that would be. And he can afford his own health care but then i don't have any experience like he okay he's a big guy so you know maybe it's harder for him to get insured than other people i'm not sure what the scoop is yeah i

don't know if it was health care you wouldn't need to get insured you would just pay for the health care oh i i see what you're saying saying yeah just pay straight up for the well shucks then you pay cash prices which are stupid yeah they're outrageous yeah like oh yeah just just pay i'll make up a number you know 250 for an ibuprofen like really that's but then again like like he may have things that that aren't covered through reasonable health care options, right? It doesn't make sense. I just don't think it makes sense to cover people for things that you do to yourself like that, to some regard. Then you get into the whole, like, should mental health be covered?

Is his thing not a downstream effect of a mental health? I think mental health should be a separate category. You got to check that box if you want it Maybe I don't know I'm sensitive to the mental health thing. Yeah, I guess so Yeah, I guess I go back to that thing I always say like when you fill your taxes out there should be like boxes you check like yeah You can spend my money on defense you can spend my money on housing infrastructure But no money to the Jews or whatever you don't want your money to go through. Like, don't you send my money to Israel. Don't you do it!

Is that what you want? A box? Not me personally. I like that. They got that Sling of David missile defense thing. Actually, I'm not a big fan of sending money to Israel. I really feel like we're on the losing end of that all the time. Like, I feel like, and I'm not educated on this too much. I picture Israel as

our nose guard tackle right he's out there He's ready to take that first hit when when the air went when some country finally melts down and some despot takes over and he Has their three nukes that they have in their arsenal. They're gonna shoot Israel first They're gonna take that first initial hit for us. We are the great Satan, but nobody compares to Eve to Israel is a toxic friend right they? They just take, take, take, take from us. They give very little. Every once in a while, they dole out like a little spice of happiness, like a toxic friend does, right? A toxic friend, someone who treats you wrong, who isn't really your friend, every so often does make a deposit in the emotional bank account.

And that's when the abused says, oh, yes, you you know this is the guy that i want him to be if you knew that side of him like i did then then you'd know that he's actually a good guy that's what israel does like they just fucking they take from us they get our money they get everything they get our intelligence they get our technology and then every so often maybe just dribble a touch of intelligence in return. And we're like, oh, yeah, well, that was worth the trillion. Do you think they would have been conquered by now if they didn't have U.S. backing them? Because they are very much disliked in that area. Maybe not conquered, but, man, they would be in disarray. Because all of our help with missile defense has been instrumental.

I've seen that Sling of David thing in action. You'll see the, whatever they are, I don't know the ordinance. It's an RPG or some kind of missile of some kind coming over the fucking wall, coming into Israel. And that thing just shoots it down like something out of Halo. If this was civilization, they have another civ just constantly gifting them units of one sort or another. And I would like to see them do a little more fair trade you know oh do you want to stay alive do you have people attacking you from everything well you can fucking gift us cash or something you know we'll sell you tech if

you're an ally but yeah i just feel like they take a lot more than they return and you've seen zero doctor when they kill osama bin laden i had never seen it because I thought, for some reason, when it first came out, I thought of it as a propaganda piece for the Obama administration. But it's not that at all. They only mention the president in passing one time. The CIA director is like, the president's a thoughtful man. He's going to need some evidence here. He's not going to go in half-cocked. And that's the only time he's ever mentioned.

not going to go in half cocked and like that's the only time he's ever mentioned but it basically follows this female cia agents agent throughout like 12 years of her career that are all spent on hunting of some bin laden in the early movie she's torturing detainees and getting used to that uh in the middle of the movie you know you see the abu grabe happens and and the policy starts shifting and and her and the guy who trained her is telling her you better get smart. You don't want to be the last person holding a dog collar when the hammer comes down. And she's like, oh yeah, I know, I know. Put the fucking dog collar on the guy.

He's like, you want to go in the box? You want to go in the box? Because this box sucks. He's like, I know nothing. Get him in the box. And they shove him in this little box and fucking lock him up in there, rock music playing. And there shove him in this little box and fucking chomp. Fucking lock him up in there, rock music playing.

And there's no like, you know, they waterboard the fuck out of him, all that stuff. And in the end, they kill Osama bin Laden. You see the whole raid with SEAL Team 6. You know, they fucking kill him. They get his body, the whole thing. It was a good movie. I'll have to check it out. I don't mean to get politic.

I do. So I like Obama, right? Other people hate him. I get it. That get politic. I do. So I like Obama, right? Other people hate him. I get it. That's their point of mind. But I do feel like, ah, you know what? On the terrorist thing, he did kill Osama. That's a really good score.

That's a Hall of Fame play if plays went in the Hall of Fame. Like that. The movie really takes it away from the Obama administration. It makes it clear that it was just this one agent at the CIA who was fighting for this. A friend of hers was killed by a suicide bomb in 2007 or 2005 or something like that. They thought they had an informant coming in to give them information on Osama. She was like, no, no, no, just let him in. We don't want to spook him.

He comes in and just fucking al-Aqbar and blows like seven CIA agents up in Afghanistan, I think. It really happened. I get that. So here's a parallel in my head, right? Like Reagan defeated Russia, right? He brought down the wall. He ended sort of the Cold War. Yeah.

In reality, you know, perhaps the end of the Cold War had been set up for like the 30 years leading up to Reagan. I think Reagan had a lot to do with that. You know, it was all that defense spending, right? And that Star Wars talk. His spending could have sunk him. His Star Wars talk could have sunk him. He did some negotiation on... The missile placements?

Well, nuclear dearmament. I think I'm saying this right. And like he asked for so much, people thought that he was not serious about it. They're like, oh, he's asking for so much, he's not even trying to get a deal. And then he got the deal that he asked for. So maybe he does deserve some credit, or perhaps he does deserve some credit. But I kind of feel that way about Obama, too. Like, all right, I'll admit he didn't actually go in there with an M-16 and shoot Obama.

I'm sorry, Osama. But whatever. didn't actually go in there with an air m16 and shoot obama i'm sorry osama but um whatever i mean he was in office for what like five years or something when it happened and whatever it was three years and you know the systems that were in place he didn't fuck it up it happened you know i feel like he gets credit in the same way that um it couldn't have been seven no no it doesn't make sense yeah no it was 2011 when they got him right so that was three years in okay yeah so three years in you know everything came into place and they actually got this guy and uh you know so i feel like he deserves credit for that in the same way that reagan does you know it might be that just capitalism beats communism

and it was gonna happen yeah i don't know what i don't that's yeah i think that reagan for the most like i don't know enough about it i think that it was more that happen no matter what. Yeah, I think that Reagan, for the most part, I don't know enough about it. I think that it was more that he just happened to be in office when it did happen, because our economy was, I looked up some stat that at the point where the Soviet Union dissolved, the U.S., gross national product, gross domestic product, whatever, our production capabilities weren't twice as much, weren't five times as much. It was like 50 or 60

times as much. It was obscene how much the US could produce faster, better, more efficiently than Russia in the same time with the same resources, which we just had more of. I don't know. Maybe Bush could have been in again at that same time

like H.W. Bush if he'd been instead, I guess juxtaposed earlier. And maybe he would be getting credit for it. I don't know. Or on the other hand, maybe there's a conservative out there who knows about some policy or something that Reagan did that collapsed him. Is that that you were alive? Hammers, you know, if I'm back to Civ talk like that's one of the arguments against tariffs, right? So right now, Trump has a strong interest in, like, protecting American jobs by, you know, saying not competing with the rest of the world in some manufacturing. If you do that, then the risk you run is the risk that Russia ran and just becoming uncompetitive. I don't have an answer because obviously American jobs are

flowing outward and you want to do something. If there's going to be a global standard of living leveling then you want to combat that some way if you already have a better standard of living it's not a problem that i know how to solve i think it's inevitable but uh i don't know somehow it's just like yeah you know oh you want to drop big tariffs on stuff that comes in from mexico to protect american manufacturing? Then I promise you, American manufacturing, like if there's a 30% tariff, will just be 30% worse until water finds its level. Oh, yeah. And that's not even a very – that's not a conservative position at all that he's doing with his tariffs and his trade agreements.

Like I think that – isn't that in large part – correct me if I'm wrong, like part of the reason that our car manufacturing turned to shit is because we were like, hey, big tariffs if you import a Suzuki or whatever the hell. And, you know, Detroit, you know, you're fine. Keep making whatever the hell you're doing. And over time, our quality in cars became just embarrassingly worse than cars made in Korea or Japan to the point that it's just now that you're seeing commercials like in the past few years where it's like hey ford not total shit it's pretty good look at the commercials like all like the uh mitsubishi whatever they're like you know top class running six years in a row lexus number one luxury car on earth and then it's like ford can you believe it third best second year running

you you said we couldn't do it we almost did and that's like that's what i feel like when i watch american truck commercials it's just they're begging you to be like just come on like they're pretty good like they're pretty good like we're working hard in trucks i think we're the leader yeah yeah in fairness ford has really stepped it up ford cars are pretty nice now that's i i saw a reddit question where someone said hey for those of you that buy trucks that aren't ford why and uh i was like so i i like the chevys um i really like the look of the dodgers but every time i look into like the details it's like, yeah, this is just a mistake, I think. In Wings of Retention, he said, I see people that buy Chrysler products, and I ask them, are you retarded?

It's so Wings. But I look, and it's like, Ford is the one that went to the turbocharged six-cylinder. They broke a glass ceiling of some sort. They tried something new, and now if you keep your foot off the throttle, it gets a really good fuel economy. They went to the aluminum bodies, which are pretty good. It's lighter. They increased the payload because you can put more stuff in it because it's not weighed down by its own body. I'm just like, man, if I had to buy a truck now, Ford would just just be my it would start off in first place

that someone would have to teach me something i didn't think of those aluminum bodies are really expensive to fix though yeah like if anything does happen wrong like i think it's much better you know oh yeah that's pay more yeah it's what kyle said That's insurance, though. I was like, but you don't fix trucks. I was just meaning like on – I know there's that bullshit commercial they have out there where it's like, hey, this is the Ford with its aluminum truck lining bed. And this is the Chevy with the hardened steel, adamantium. And they throw that big toolbox in a way that no one ever would. Like, ah! Did you know the toolbox broke the steel bed? Yeah, and they're like, look at that! Bounced right off the steel! Look at that! Punctured right

through the aluminum, and all the gullible rubes standing around the truck bed are like, yeah, that's certainly how I am. They'll show you putting a load of rocks in there, and it's a front-end loader dumping it from height. No, it didn't. It put a little dent in the Chevy. There was an actual puncture hole in the Ford. But the thing is

neither one of them had actual truck liners. I saw a YouTube video that did careful analysis of that. And they pushed the toolbox off the side of the bed rail and it punctured a hole in the Chevy. And then you can tell the one they show from a different

angle is a different drop and they don't show the puncture hole in it like it people went CSI on that fucking video and it punctured the Chevy's bed as well and the bed is not hardened maybe the bottom of it is hardened steel on the sides or not I don't want to mix my I want to get the facts wrong but I did see the puncture like there's a frame from the like cab angle where you can see the puncture hole in the Chevy. So the only experience I've got with that is I put a ball in the bed of a truck, and you got to cut through the bed. And I used a reciprocating saw, and it was fucking hard. That was some legit steel I cut through.

It wasn't sheet metal. It was fucking – it didn some legit steel i cut through it wasn't sheet metal it was fucking like it didn't want to cut fast i am i really abused the bed of my truck like almost like like remember how taylor was like and no one ever throws a toolbox in like dude i have a so my truck is high and the hitch pin goes in the bumper usually it's under the bumper so i've got this big like adapter unit where it comes down and across i will throw that in my bed from like seven feet away because i have a plastic bed liner and those things are like in pot like there's rhino liner which is strong and then there's plastic

bed liner which is ridiculous you know you could drop a load of bricks from six feet in the air and it like the plastic just sort of temporarily deformed super tough yeah so i wonder like i don't know if i'd like a rhino liner uh the plastic has certain upsides you can't over abuse it and the slippery is an up and downside like okay so you put a piece of plywood in your um in your bed on the plastic it'll kind of slide in and out unharmed on that gritty like 40 grit um rhino liner bed liner it like I guess you have to have something protective under the thing that you don't want scratched up I guess I guess so so anyway I don't know I don't feel like buying a truck right now I I was just actually like, wow, it's like late November-ish right now. Come next year, my truck will be 14 years old.

That's a thing, right? Add another year to that. It's that much more prestigious. Yeah, four more years and it's legal. If you think I haven't hit that tailpipe yet, you're sorely mistaken. I bet. I bet Kyle has a plethora, just another folder of porn of truck fucking. Truck fuckers.

I did see, no, I tell you what, I did see this one thing, and they look Middle Eastern, and this guy comes along, and he catches this other guy fucking the tailpipe of a scooter. And he's just, he's like, you know, recording it with his phone, and he's just like, pardon me, scooter fucker. And the guy's like, he's like, you know, recording it with his phone. He's just like, pardon me, scooter fucker. And the guy's like, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, cartoon all sooty well i lost my dipstick you know dude i i um i you know i've gotten so much heat over paramotor talk but it's a big part of my life i am so excited like i i am every flight i wipe it down there isn't even soot on the inside of the muffler very much like the thing i post flight the fuck out of it and like check every bolt and make sure it's good it has been so perfect and infallible i'm i'm really happy with my new paramotor i'll stop there flew yesterday for over an hour it was great so nice yeah i don't know it's i'm excited i might fly after the show is it good enough today i checked the metrics uh the four what i

checked yesterday and it looked like it would be good for after the show so I'll have to check again but it looks like it'll be okay you need to link something in this chat because I'm getting tired of looking at this cone ass person there's a guy fucking a traffic code or maybe that's a girl that's a

girl squatting oh see I thought he was pointing his dick down. You know, in that small thumbnail, you could be convinced that was a guy. It's from behind. The hole in the top of those things is huge. It is not conducive to any sort of penetration sex. Oh, well, perhaps you're not gifted like I am. I have to be huge. With a wrist size.

That's very clearly a woman. You can see with her waist and her hips. You can. For me, it's on the far side of another monitor over there. So it's like two and a half feet from me. The edges of my monitor are not that useful. They're really just for like monitoring, you know? We really went off the fucking rails

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on YouTube or whatever, those douchebags, and then go out with bad breath. Because you can, that's one of those things where nobody's going to tell you about it.'s going to say hey your breath stinks they're just going to let you walk around like an ass all night with terrible breath and any girl you talk to also isn't going to confront you about it and you're not getting laid guaranteed because nobody wants

to have sex with someone with bad breath it's it's horrible i like the metaphor walk around like an ass with terrible breath and i'm thinking this through like an ass would have terrible breath wouldn't it yeah and it's something like you can you can picture in your head a memory where you were talking to someone and you felt like you had to step back or you had to like give some body language of like come on give me a little space or something like it's embarrassing when you're that guy you know because you can tell sometimes that someone like oh i must be like stinky or have bo or bad breath like just don't put yourself through it like when there's an actual solution that works check it out use it and if you're having trouble getting laid this will help you get laid more girls are gonna go i don't care that he's a little bit fat and poor he's got great breath i want to bang that

you know what it's funny because like yeah sometimes colin will come around like i'm gonna bang colin but sometimes colin will come around it's like, his breath is delightfully minty right now. I find his company more enjoyable than otherwise. Yes, he doesn't – you don't just get blindsided by hot dragon breath of just, oh, phew. Oh, my gosh. It's just muted. It's just normal, clean breath. I saw this guy selling his collection of dildos on Craigslist, and he had a bunch of those dragon dildos in there.

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And it was under a stack of clothes when Tracker found its location for me. I like it. Well, that's what it's there for. Tracking stuff. Yeah. It's neat tech. We are living in the future. Yep.

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Yeah, sounds like something Ash would say from Evil Dead. Give me some sugar, baby. So I was exposed to Bad Dragon through Reddit initially because I get on R All and just scroll for days, right, until the app crashes eventually. And I found this Bad dragon subreddit, and it's all people using this line of dragon, like, it's basically fantasy sex toys, right?

So it's what kind of cock would, you know, some sort of mythical beast have if you fantasized about having sex with it. So all of these cocks are like animal in nature. Like some of them, here's a water buffalo dick. Here's a, this one is clearly some sort of like, I don't know, swamp creatures dick. At first I thought this was stupid until I saw the fleshlight style toys. At which point I thought, well, this could work.

This one is called Scorn the Wyvern. And a wyvern is like a mythical type of drake or dragon and it's just this weird gnarled root looking none none of these look like a penis at all they're all like vaginas there's one named sophia who is clearly like cortana the microsoft chick i'm just i'm on the front page of just insertable toys. You haven't scrolled down. The closest one to an actual human penis says demon dick. It looks like a very

ornery looking penis. It's almost like a thorn on the end of the penis. If you look at some of them are definitely meant to be horse dicks. See like at Bumble Hooves, the unicorn? That's totally a horse cock. But if you look at... where was the dog one? There was totally one... Oh, Rex! Rex is on the fourth column down.

Fourth from the left. Totally dog dick there. And there's lots of them like that. They're all shaped like creatures' penises. This one's called the dragon's tongue and it's like the end of a dragon's snout with a long tongue that comes out that you could insert. But if you scroll down, you see the ones for dudes, the penetratable ones. Oh, I'm down here now. These just look like different colored flesh lines.

Oh, no, they do not. Hold on. Fourth column, third row, there's cum coming out of one of them yes jt the fox yes so i wonder man i feel that is an animal that had a rough end to its life or jt the fox having his asshole mounted and melded and molded melded how and molded. Melded. Yeah, this looks... None of these... Who's ordering these things? Look at this. This is called the Dragon Muzzle.

Did you scroll down to wearables? No, these are dragon dicks you can put on your own cock to make you have a werewolf dick or a basilisk. The basilisk sheath. Yeah. Let's see what that is. This is what I want on my... Oh, my God. If you scroll down to Chico's Little Squirts, okay?

Chico's Little Squirts. L-I-L. These sex toys have attached tubes through which you can pump cum. And if you scroll down, the cum is there for sale as well. Oh, the cum is included in this one. CUM included. Yeah. Yeah, here's the CUM tube syringe that you used. Why make a mess?

If you scroll all the way to the bottom, it's like, oh, there's some luggage. I would buy this. That luggage ain't half bad. Yeah. I would wear one of these shirtsable shirts I think in public this because you know nobody would know what it even is and it's just a discuss anyone who knows if you like can't call you out on it like yeah you sicko that's the dragon dead logo which I know so well you run to that one guy who's loud and proud a dragon fucker he pulls out a huge dragon cock out of his bag shooting calm at you look at this got it fully loaded yeah you don't want that what is this what is

says they've got a whole section called packers i'm looking at packers right now is that on the home page front page packers oh those are meant to be packed in a bag and taken somewhere i think that's that's what I'm taking from that. I don't know what else to take from it. It says they're extra soft. So are these just floppy fake dicks? You wear

a packer. No, you don't wear these because it looks like a horse penis. I'm reading the description. Oh, I was on. It's a master package wrangler who packs a mean package in his shorts, who appreciates the irony of wearing a packer-shaped-like-our-head package wrangler. It's not written very well. Uh-uh.

But it looks like you wear it. It, to put a thick and enticing spring in your shorts. Dude, if you strap this huge black uncut cock to your already your cock the thing is twice the size of a coke can okay there's not going to be a little spring in your shorts you're gonna get arrested oh shit i just saw it next to a coke can the thing is it's like two coke cans and on end with the word medium above it and men don't mind this one bit if you do that to women if you showed like a tiny little piece of sexy underwear and like yeah this is a large there'd be a meltdown like like nobody cares that

this like 12 inch cock that's this big around is the medium that's if you're just wanting to dip your toe into the dragon landscape you know just just start off small Don't overwhelm yourself. Or maybe get yourself a Hazel the Werewolf-ous pocket pussy. I want to send this to you. Look at the image of what I assume they want you to imagine you are engaging in intercourse with

when you use this. It is a cartoon picture of a werewolf with the big hairy boobs, big claws, not sexy. Not is a picture, it is a cartoon picture of a werewolf with the big hairy boobs, big claws, not sexy, not in a sexy pose, in an attack pose. She's got some socks on her hands. Yeah, got some socks on her hands. You need that? Yeah, she needs that.

What if she had like a whole bunch of titties, like a whole row, like six at least? Right, yeah, that would make sense. Dude, I went to their homepage, which is pretty great, Because we kind of missed the homepage. We had to hit that enter here, and it took us to products. If you click on Bad Dragon, there's like this Thanksgiving collage. A cornucopia.

A cornucopia of like pumpkins and those corn on the cobs that are like colors and stuff. It's very like fall shape. Yeah, very fall colors like oranges and yellows. With a bunch of dragon dildos mixed into it along the way. It's great. Dude, these are the lumpiest dildos I've ever seen. A lot of texture. There's a lot of texture.

They're very lumpy. I had no idea that mythical creatures had such phenomenal detail in their genitalia. Or at least that someone cared enough to do it. Like, I wonder, like... Well, let's go to the BadDragon subreddit and let's see these things in action. As you do, yeah. Of course. Of course we're doing this.

It just... Of course we're doing this. Link it when you find it, Kyle. Uh-huh. Yeah, to me, I look at it and i think it's too big right women don't want two coke cans shoved up their cooter that's a lot of meat and uh all these little squeezes things they want tyson the water buffalo i i don't think these ribs are doing it i i feel like what women actually dig is a Hitachi.

Like that can send them into another universe. That thing's so powerful. This dragon business, that's a fantasy. Anal cream pie with Med Nova. Okay, so this chick is going to, I think, give herself. Yeah, so if you want a quick video here, this chick is giving herself the business with a Hulk-like cock.

And I haven't gotten to the end, but I'm told there's a cream pie. Giving herself the business. The business. Wait, which one are you on? I just linked you directly to the video. You get to see the toy outside, then all the way inside, pretty much.

And then I think at the end end she's going to hit that syringe and really give it to her so yep yep yep she did oh yeah that's in the butt in the butt that looks like one of those more like one of those 90's Nickelodeon clocks than it does a dildo

for parts of this she's only working like the top of it she's fucking just the tip that's a big toy woody i know that's an enormous point is that the toy is incorrect like i'm not i'm not chastising her ability to take a couple of coke cans maybe she got it all in there and we were just getting the highlights her asshole is writing its congressman right now. This is unacceptable. You know, there have been riots here. Yeah, that's... How does it hold the pen?

I thought, at least it's a girl doing it, so there's something. There you go. Yeah, I could have linked you to one of these dudes who is definitely going to be enjoying these toys. It's not. This guy's like, I just got the small Ica, whatever that is, as my first ever toy

with two things of cum lube. I really want to take it all at once, but I just can't. Does anyone have any tips for how I can take more? And any other tips for more pleasure? Thanks. This guy goes, go slowly and use more lube.

Oh my god. You're just going to want to push more lube your guy. You're gonna. Oh my god You're just gonna want to push it harder into your ass. You know that's like what oh Here's something. Oh is this the one where the eggs get laid inside of her? I'm on hot wife uses large werewolf cock. There you go. I'm gonna see how this works Oh that looked reasonably sized to be honest with you I'm going to see how this works. Oh, that looked reasonably sized, to be honest with you. Yeah, I feel like this is something that a regular person could deal with.

Yeah, but regular people don't even want to think about fucking some mythical dog dick, right? You're being a little judgy, I think. When I have gone into sex shops in the past i've noticed a distinct trend of human looking foul oh wow he's taking it all oh it's a dude well you need to you need to link us wait oh no no this is a woman this is this is a really hot woman right here that i'm linking you this one kind of amuses me like hypothetical neckbeard single woody might do this i saw that and thought that was funny too there's a, he hung his headphones on it? There's what looks to be some sort of suction cup dragon dick dildo that he's using as a headphone stand.

Yeah, he's got his headphones on the wall. Sort of, you know, on it. It's funny. Well, that's a good time right there. So, yeah, these are... God damn it, Kyle. Why'd you link me to a guy? Holy smokes. Well, I thought you wanted time right there. So, yeah, these are... God damn it, Kyle. Why'd you link me to a guy? Holy smokes.

Well, I thought you wanted to be impressed. Yeah. That is... From the back, I'm really struggling sometimes because he's got the shape on him, too. No, that's a man. His butt is... That is a man.

Someone has spanked him. He's a bad man. No, he's got dirty butt. That's what happens when... Oh, he's got dirty butt. Yeah. Like, you see that discoloration of his butt. Yeah. Yeah, I do I I think that's like a product of the I think he's a much older guy Maybe than we think he is like and like I see old people get that on their butts And I think that's old, but I think that's just like sitting on your butt too much like I see that a lot

It looks dirty. Maybe maybe he just gets some real serious spankings in your i don't know bruising i guess it could be that's old people but it happens sometime after 43 i promise you that this thing some people hold up better this thing that this guy's sitting on this isn't something this isn't the one thing that he does that's a little odd you know like he doesn't he doesn't go into the bedroom and have some vanilla sex and then be like, all right, just give me three minutes. Gonna hop on over with my Rex the Bad Dragon toy,

the purple monster, and then just do this and then you're back to being, you know, great dad or whatever. No, this guy's got a lot of stuff in his closet. Certainly a lot of these in his closet, I don't think. That's not the first one of these you purchase. You don't start out with that one.

No. This is probably purchase number 7 or 8 from baddragon.com. All of his reward cards have been punched. No one has their phone near the wires, do they? I was getting... Mine's on the floor over there now, but I heard the interference too. Six feet that way.

I don't know what caused that thing. I heard the interference as well. But yeah, the world of human sexuality is just so interesting right like like what if we had no interest in sex as a species of course we wouldn't exist anymore but like if we took all that all that focus and put it on something worthwhile other than making these all these dicks like imagine the time it took to make all these dicks something and just

naming them all would take me a day they created created all these and decided, oh yeah, it needs more of a little frenulum right here. A few scales on the bottom side of the cock with some off-shooting feathers at the base. These things are absurd. These people have a skill. They could have designed tires with better traction or something. Oh, hell yeah. They could have saved lives with elite-level snow tires.

Instead, they're building dragon dildos. I'm impressed. Yeah, they... Regardless. Man, this... What a world. As far as weird fetishes go, I think this is probably a pretty good one.

Nobody's getting hurt. Yeah. You can do it in your house. This is fine. It's definitely odd, especially the fact that this may sound weird but i think it's weirder to have like horse dicks and dog dicks in there than it is to have like mythical dicks because at least with mythical dicks like you can just

kind of make it whatever you want like that's not what a dragon's dick looks like fuck you you don't know they're not real like but with it like if you buy like yeah i want something that like i don't know they're not real like but with it like if you buy like yeah i want something that like i don't know two-year-old schnauzer would have or whatever you want to get banged by like that's that is a that's the weirder part i agree ironically it's somewhat weirder for me as well to see like well that's what a horse's dick looks like that's definitely a horse's dick that you've got there because it's got like that flared end and everything and then there's definitely a horse cock there because it's got the huge knot at the base but like i then i see this like werewolf dick and i'm like well fuck away i'd fuck a werewolf why not like like you know like it's half human at least and it's pretty

clear that the dildos they're making for like the werewolf and the satyrs and the you know gremlins and all these things like it's really just a kind of dick shaped object that's got a lot of ribs and meant to be a pleasurable object to stick now what i do see sometimes like a dick they'll mix cosplay but they'll mix appropriate cosplay so like i don't even i can't think of a good example like it's like little red riding hood you'll be dressed up as her and then you'll fuck the wolf dick right um or it'll be like some character from a dragon movie you'll like you'd be like dildo baggins and you've got the big dragon cock or give it to me you know

oh yeah i'll see what i did see the other day and i guess maybe we can get off the porn stuff is i saw a camera. Like, first it started off with an angle of, like, the guy penetrating the woman, just fucking her from behind. And I was like, oh, okay, and I'm about to leave. And then they cut to a new angle that I hadn't seen before. Inside the vagina, looking back out at the penis coming in. Just crammed a GoPro in there? What'd they do? I don't know what they did, okay?

But they had a camera in her pussy looking outward at the penis coming into it. And when he comes, there's just like cum blowing everywhere right on the lens. I was like, ah, I've never gotten this angle before. This is next level right here. It is. That's almost like a science angle. I've seen it in a science context before. And I wonder actually if they took what I saw and spliced it.

It could be that they just reused the footage. context before and i wonder actually if they took what i saw and spliced perhaps you know it could be that they just reuse the footage it's not sexy to make that happen because i like there are wires going into this woman the guy is fucking with wires like you know against his dick that's not what you want and uh they also had to inflate her right because obviously the vagina would just kind of like there'd be no space to film so so she's been like filled with air while he fucks her so there's a lighting is an issue lighting is a thing so while i also agree it's kind of a hot thing to see go down it's totally not a hot thing to film like we talked about guys having to maintain the direction on a porn set when it gets that medical that's not hot

at all but it's more of like an interesting thing to see from that angle like like that's that medical, that's not hot at all. It's more of an interesting thing to see from that angle. That's what the inside of the vagina looks like. This is what actual intercourse looks like. This is what's going on. It's neat. It's the same thing when you see a heart beating or how your food digests in a time lapse or something.

It's just kind of neat. Maybe not. Maybe I'm wrong. i i'm i'm really unhappy that these gifts just keep going yeah yeah on our skype right now like literally like on our skype on the top i'll describe on the top there is a very hot woman who is on her back um you know weight on her heels sort of up and down fucking herself with a green hulk cock then right below that there is let's say a 30 year old man uh on his knees facing away from the camera sort of up and down with on a dick that's at least it's at least a size it's like this big and like that long and

it's shaped like some sort of creature's dick and then below that of course we've got our uh our headphones hanging on a dragon cock on a wall. So yeah, it's a pretty picture over there on the right side of the screen right now. So I'm looking at OBS. I'm seeing what the listeners or viewers are seeing. That's good. My Skype is two feet over there, three feet over there.

I forget that Taylor has it right in front of her. I usually type bump a hundred times, but I'm going to let Taylor keep watching it. He's going to close the whole chat. There we go. You can design your own dragon cock. How disappointing would it be to take your real cock, and there's all these triple Coke can whatever.

It's like, I want this to look like mine. It would be so pitiful by comparison. Oh, this is the the god dog and this is um woody oreo the fucking dragon or whatever the hell and then and this is woody from new jersey you know it's like well this one's not as not as exciting i know where new jersey is yeah i've never heard of that mythical creature oh What do you say? Do they live in the trees? Oh, New Jersey, you say?

Pray tell of this New Jersey. Maybe there's some role play involved. Could that be a thing? Maybe you'd like to pretend like, maybe the girl is pretending like she's some sort of medieval virgin being sacrificed to the dragon, and the dude comes in with a smoke machine blaring off. He's like,

he's got a big dragon dick. He's going to cram in her. They're really missing the whole gargoyle market. I bet that's on there. I bet if you Google gargoyle dildo, that's going to pop right up with some good stuff. Art is a rock.

I wouldn't bet against that. That's a Rule 34-ism. Mature adult sex toys by Fun Vibes on Etsy. Oh, Etsy. These are homemade sex toys? I'm going to steer away from that. Let's go somewhere else. Yeah, let's go to not sex toys.

So what are you guys doing for Thanksgiving? I'm going to cook. I've got a turkey that I'm gonna deep fry although I have to cook it in fucking vegetable oil instead of peanut oil because Kitty will die and I'm not sure that's gonna be so yeah I'm gonna soak in a brine for 16 hours beforehand

that's supposed to add a lot of flavor and rub it down yeah that's what I'm gonna do after this it may have already been done upstairs and I'm also cooking a turkey I'm injecting it with some pineapple brown sugar stuff and making like I'm going to do after this. It may have already been done upstairs. I'm also cooking a turkey. I'm injecting it with some pineapple brown sugar stuff and I'm going to glaze it until it's got a candy shell on it. I was just going to use that. It sounds like Kyle's Thanksgivings are really candy.

Yeah, yeah. It's a way to make everything sweet. We're making two different kinds of stuffings. One is stuffing, one is dressing. They're very different. I'm making some slow cooker macaroni and cheese that takes all day to make, and it's going to be super gooey,

like garlic mashed potatoes and yeast rolls. I'm going to get a three-layer gourmet cake made from this place nearest that makes these incredible... It's a $40 cake, but it's a giant German chocolate cake and it's made by these Amish people. It's so good. And I don't know what else we're having. Kitty's cooking a few things. Oh there's some sort of like sweet potato souffle with marshmallows

and pecans on top. Sounds good. I like Thanksgiving. I like Thanksgiving a lot too. I don't give any thanks though. Not a bit. I just eat. There's nothing I dislike more about Thanksgiving than when... It's almost like a... Maybe some families do that thing every year where they're like,

everybody go around the table and say something you're thankful for. And sometimes, at least on my dad's side of the family growing up, it was like a luck of the draw, roll the dice. If the right fucking uncle was leading it that year, and it was one of the good ones or whatever, he'd be like, you know, everybody just dig in in but every once in a while you get like someone who's more emotional and it's like we need to go around and have everyone in great detail tell us about things that you are thankful for and it's like look at how many fucking cousins are in this room

no way we're gonna be able to go through and let you know you know aunt susan's gonna go on for at least three four minutes like so everybody else is going to be rushing. Do you turn it into a comedy routine? Like, I'm thankful that Cousin Kevin's thank list was so small. Everyone laughs and you move on. Do the safe Thanksgiving jokes. Sorry to get sleepy from this turkey. Am I right?

Jesus, that's terrible. That's not good at all. That's awful. So stupid. Those are the kind of little jokes you have to make with family that you don't know as well. But I don't know. I think I'll enjoy it. My grandparents make awesome food every time.

They're going to deep fry one of the turkeys in peanut oil. They're going to do the standard baking for the other one. Then they make a ham, like a pineapple ham. And then sometimes there's some beef tenderloin or fried chicken fried okra a lot of stuff i love it i i usually don't try i just i go through every thanksgiving i eat 98 meat like i eat the turkey then the ham the more turkey the more the other kind of turkey and i really don't get involved in the salads or the the cranberries and that stuff as much because i don't – it's Thanksgiving.

There's no reason to eat anything that's not your top favorite thing. I don't like being guilted into trying dishes. It's what I don't like. When I was 25, I felt the same way that you do about the whole thanks thing. But now I'm a little more reflective. And, of course, I would never ask everyone to go around the table and share what they're thankful for. Tell me how much you love uh about 16 of this room and the rest of them we don't give a fuck about but uh i will say that

like the holidays make me reflective for what i have and and you know who's still around um you know i i have family uh on my wife's side that's sick and um you know so it's like that's family uh on my wife's side that's sick and um you know so it's like that's something i'm you know happy that they're still here for i have um you know and then my own fat like hope is not sick but she's a senior in high school and that whole dynamic is gonna like basically next year she moves away and she's gonna go off to college yeah so uh yeah i can definitely see that as you get older and you have more appreciation for like oh life really is flying by like look at this my kids growing up like this time's running out like i can definitely see that but um you can do that without slowing down the whole parade yeah making

you know and waiting there for a full minute while trying to goad some four-year-old into saying they're thankful for whatever you know piano lessons their parents bought them. My favorite Christmas song. It's like Christmas in Wine or something. I want to find it. It won't take me too long. What is it you're looking for? I'm looking for my favorite Christmas. Oh, White Wine in the Sun.

White Wine in the Sun is my favorite Christmas song and uh it's this guy to look at him like the prejudiced version of me would think I don't like this guy he's he looks like he's ready to work in a haunted house or something white guy with stringy crazy hair but um to hear him sing it like it seems like he writes his own songs they're incredibly thoughtful and white wine in the, he's just like, I really like Christmas. And he talks about how he appreciates his time with family and the simple things. And that to me is what the holiday – there's nothing I fucking want for Christmas this year. I'm not like, oh, my God, I hope my wife gets me a new heated jacket or something.

Dude, if I want something, I just order it on Amazon. You know, what I really want for Christmas is hard to get, which is like, I don't know, people enjoying each other's company. And yeah, so while I certainly would never fucking lead some sort of prayer or pseudo prayer about it, I do get reflective, you know, about getting to see people. And you should be yeah yeah that makes sense are you worried at all like is your do you anticipate because i'm sure that even

more so than most thanksgivings with the election that close that people are going to be bitter in arguing like do you have like a plan for like where you go to like how to shut those conversations down and be like hey let's talk about the NFL. All right. What about this over here? You know, blues are playing well now, finally, like whatever you're like, do you have a plan or are you just going to let it all Peter out?

Um, I don't expect it to be a problem. I don't know. I, I, I, I'm not anticipating that as an issue. I'll say that,

um, our Thanksgiving this year. So hope went to her boyfriends for Thanksgiving. And then we're going to do Thanksgiving on Friday. We're also doing Thanksgiving on Thursday with some with some family friends and uh um i know that they're blue so they're not going to be like big debates or anything i don't think they'll even talk about it much maybe just crack a joke which yeah that's the best i don't anticipate any problems at my thanksgiving because i don't i can't remember a single time people have gotten

a political debate at any of my family thanksgivings at least on the side that i'm going to this year but yeah it's at least from a couple people i've spoken to they're very much dreading and like having contingency plans for like god i know that fucking uncle ted is coming in from you know cape girardo in southern missouri and he's gonna be so pro trump and then aunt judith's coming in from philadelphia oh they hate each other anyway they're gonna be screaming like working and stuff like that so glad i don't have to think about that and that i'm not or i guess maybe it's because because you're not hosting it are you like you're not hosting we're so hope the friday one we're hosting so hope and her boyfriend are doing thanksgiving in his her house

and on fr Friday they both come to our house and we do Thanksgiving here. Okay, maybe it's because, okay, the two people I was thinking of were talking about it. They were hosting like their entire extended family. So maybe they feel the responsibility to like be the mediator. But I don't know. I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving.

What was I going to say? Oh, Facebook. So I was never really a Facebook person. And I think I say? Oh, Facebook. So I was never really a Facebook person. And I think I mentioned this before, but now I'm exposed to, because the paramotor world, like the forum that people use as a Facebook group. And now I see all these people's feeds like so angry about Trump or Hillary or like just go off. about Trump or Hillary or like just go off and they're all so convinced that they're right and their minds are just they're completely closed and I don't participate and one of my most liked posts ever was uh I voted it was on election day it was like one I voted two I didn't mention politics a single time I'm the best kind of Facebook friend. Like, all my friends liked it. Like, all of them. Like, dude, your Facebook rants do nothing but close half your doors.

It's freaky. And if you do it too angrily, you're just being the person that proves the other side right. Like, if you get really indignant on either side, all it is is the people on the other side look and go, See, that guy's proven my point like look at how much of a whiny bitch he is or look at how much of an extremist asshole or you know 150 million think this thing and 150 million think that thing they both must have a point right there can't be 150 million people who are just too stupid to see it your way. And, you know, that's where it is. Yeah.

Kyle, you brought a guest back with you. Yeah, what do we have here? Is Winston new? No, Winston's been here a while. Winston's a champion weenie. He's a long-haired Datsun. I think they call this color cream. He's a pretty laid-back guy.

How old is Winston? Like two years i think whose dog is winston girlfriends but he really takes to me he's my buddy man i really want a dog again now i'm gonna go buy one impulsively which is the worst thing to do better yet maybe you'll get one as a gift imagine how much of a douche you'd have to be to give someone an animal i know you wanted a dog but i found this rabbit on sale so here you go now you're gonna fucking well they were having a due to viral outbreak they're having a guinea pig clearance and so i got you nine of them very low first month survivability so you'll at least have one you know by the end of this this genocide oh yeah i went through a serious

i went through a serious phase when i was maybe 14 13 sometime in middle school where i went over to a friend's house and they had a guinea pig and i just i played with it for hours to the point where i was being that annoying friend where they're like can you stop playing with adam and come upstairs and i remember because it had like a person name and i like sometimes when animals have like people names i think it's funny but it's like adam's not a name that you give a gay pig that's silly but i played with it i was just fucking loving it you just put on your chest and it runs around but i wasn't there to watch it shit little pellets into those wood chips or watch it sometimes i guess escape and then you're

looking for what is a essentially a a little round rodent running around your house but i was so into it to the point that like eventually my dad had to be like taylor you're not getting a guinea pig like we're not getting one we have dogs like it's gonna get eaten like no we're not gonna we're not buying guinea pig my brother and i had guinea pigs uh mine was the boy his name was rocky my brother's name named his sarah they lived for a long time like seven years or something like that in the eight years yeah it's long for a guinea pig and they had nine babies that we had to like find homes for over the over the time three litters of three and uh i i liked the guinea pigs through most of their life but the

maintenance was terrible like awful we kept them in a glass aquarium and uh they would poop and pee on the wood chips that we put in there and it would just turn into this like the worst like a sludge it's on earth it was just urine soaked wood chips you know they it doesn't like it's not like a kitty litter or something where it just like i don't know what the scoff magic happens in there it just turns into like like yuck and like if you do it all the time it's an easier clean but you're doing it all the time if you wait two two weeks, then oh my gosh, it is dreadful. But you've gone two weeks. There was no winning in cleaning this thing.

It was absolutely terrible. Yuck. In retrospect, it was a good pet choice to not get the guinea pig. Fancy rats aren't bad. Fancy rats? Yeah. I will devour them.

Is that a real thing? A fancy rat? Yes. Yeah. My daughter had, had i think two rats in her lifetime really expensive at least the way we did it they're like hey do you want this rat you know it's like nine dollars fifteen hundred dollars in equipment with like cages and like would take it to the vet for i don't know vaccinations or something fifteen hundred dollars to get set up on this fucking rat.

To make sure that that vermin is really happy and healthy. And they really were sweet. They didn't bite, and they kind of nuzzled their head when you held them and stuff. They liked people. And rats are smarter than you might guess. They're actually not a terrible pet. And then the rodent family, they might be the best one. But just the same i don't

know i've been thinking about getting i've been thinking about getting an exotic pet because i florida exotic pet license is free and uh and so we could get like we looked at the list of animals the other day that we get now i really want a raccoon because i think they're hyper intelligent and they're really cool um and they got these little hands which which are like people hands which i like my facebook friend the one that's a clown he has a yeah what's the north carolina uh-huh he uh he's always showing like pictures of it doing interesting things like because like it has hands it like opens bottles and like i don't know i guess i could hunt down videos but it's like hi this is not behavior you'd expect from an animal. It's being person-like. And he has a raccoon that's always doing Facebook stunts.

Oh, that's nice. Yeah, raccoons. Oh, no. Oh, no? Oh, does he have a... probably shouldn't talk about this anymore. I'm not sure that's exactly legal, what he's doing. But in any case, you can get these exotic animals if you have the right licensing and you're in the right state and everything so i was looking at um what's that thing from madagascar the thing with the big crazy eyes um within the long tail i all of the weird animals uh finnick foxes or cynic foxes um marmoset that thing or no are you thinking of a tamarin I don't know

marmoset you were sending me links to it and I was you were saying that you thought a marmoset might be a good idea which is like an arboreal monkey and I was saying you don't want an arboreal monkey where you live because it's going to get up you're going to take your eye off it for two seconds and it's going to be in the Georgia

woods swinging around for maybe 40 seconds before a hawk gets it. Oh, no. You want a little. The sky grabber. The sky grabber. The sky grabber. Come from above and take us.

The weenies are so little that when they go outside, they're always looking up. They're always looking up for the sky grabber, because he could come down and snatch one up. You never know. The sky grabber. The sky grabber. I saw that one of those guys i linked

you to him his name is like alligator adam alligator andy something andy alligators and he was one of the dealers he sells capuchins those organ grinder monkeys get one of those if you do get a monkey god if you get a fucking monkey i will come visit every weekend you know i feel like needs to do the tour right like he'll visit kyle's monkey and then we'll watch lord of the rings on my big screen and then as long as the monkey can come yeah yeah as long as the monkey can come to your house i'm sure that'll be fine that's a big part of that contingency i'm staying where the monkey is man that would be so fucking cool if you bought a monkey man I'm not into the monkey

not even considering that but I am considering here are the animals that are on the list right now the raccoon definitely I think that's awesome he's the top but I also saw miniature goats these goats get like 20 inches tall so like that big and weigh like 25 pounds

so like little dog size and you know they poop those little pellets so i figure it's easy cleanup and if you raise them with dogs he becomes a dog and he thinks he's a dog so he's going out to pee with them and stuff but it's going to be bleeding constantly like it's going to be i think so how's it spelled b-l-e-a-t oh i think it's bleeding in my head it? B-L-E-A-T. I'm hearing, in my head, it's B-L-E-E-D. No, no. Bleeding.

I think it's called bleeding, but you would just be hearing that whole time. That little whining. Shock collar. You can train it. Yeah, I guess you could. It seems like there are some dogs. My dog who died this past year was just not a barker.

Like if you heard him bark, it was like he's upset about something or he needs something right now. Like he didn't just bark willy-nilly. I feel like, I don't know if that applies to goats. Like I think all goats are probably pretty bad. I have noticed Siberian Huskies seem to be particularly emotive, right? Like the way that they, like, whine, howl is almost a talking. They seem to be, they're just really emotive.

Vocal. They're vocal, and then their body language, too, is like, when a normal dog wants to play, they might get down on their elbows. Siberians are, like, getting down on their elbows. They're rolling on their elbows and the siberians are like getting down their elbows they're rolling on their backs they're like i just see siberian huskies online all the time that are just like so communicative communicative and they're i don't know that's a dog that appeals to me not the shedding so much yeah this dog sheds yeah i bet it does it looks like a very well-mannered dog is that it looks like it just got back from the vet and it's still

on some medicine almost really loves me no he just loves me a lot like he's gonna fall asleep here like if i if i put in my lap and i keep rubbing his head his eyes will just slowly close and he'll go to sleep like he's just he's just real happy to be here it's a big fan of kyle kyle likes dogs kyle's really nice to dogs and when kyle met jack uh this is my aggressive Great Dane, it was not fun, that's the wrong word, but like it was just what is it called when they don't love you back? Unrequited love?

Yeah, something like that, unrequited it was like, hey there big buddy you look beautiful, you want to come over here and get your belly rubbed? And he's like, I will tear your skin from your bones release me master like pulling at that chain I'm going to get your belly rubbed. And he's like, I will tear your skin from your bones. Release me, master. Like pulling at that chain. Trying to bark, but he can't open his mouth.

And a muzzle. So his bark is real like, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. Like he can't bark properly. And after like two days or something, he's like, come on. Like, are we buds now? No. No. They're not buds.

He still wants to kill you. It's just. So he didn't reciprocate at all the entire time he just hated you yeah up until the end yeah like that's weird see you later jack it was nice meeting you he's like just just like like the predator without like the alien how they got those like extra row of teeth that come out like i kept waiting for that to happen he was so angry i've never had a dog just hate me like i'm sure that that like that dac would have disliked me just as much as kyle in that moment but i've never had a dog like that just barked all the time or like friends family members like no like has that happened to you other than for dac where you just couldn't it seems like it's easy to get on a dog's good side is what i'm saying like even if

you go to a friend's house and the dog's over there like a little bit anxious and like uh if you can kind of coax it over and you give it like two pets like all right it's another one of these monkey things that hangs out and pets me dak will temporary like i've been temporarily on dak's good side like i'm like look he always got his head on my lap we're buds and then an hour later it's like you have to rebuild that whole relationship again. It's crumbling for some reason. Yeah, I can do that too. I can totally get down and pet Dak. It's like, hey, buddy, everything all right? All right.

Like Kitty's holding him and I pet him. That's all good. But if it's just he and I on our own, oh, look out, little buddy. He's just angry all the time. Like he'll give you a minute of like he'll let you pet him or give him a treat or something. But he's never going gonna like fully trust you it seems yeah now does he trust kitty like is he yeah all girls no just kitty he's just bonded with kitty and and and and that's just the

thing like like everybody else he seems and even in the car like if he's in the there's certain situations where he seems like normal but when he's in his pen when he's just like in the house free when he's on a leash with kitty any of that stuff like he he's not social toward me but if we're in the car and i'm driving like he'll lick my ear from the back seat if you pass him in the house though does he it'll just he keeps walking or i don't i don't pass him in the house. If he's in the house, he's locked in Kitty's bedroom with her. And like one time he opened the door by himself and my girlfriend

and I were sitting in the living room and the door just and he just emerges like a velociraptor checking stuff out and we were both just like what's he gonna do? And he just backed back in. I was like Kitty! And he just like backed back into the room and like she came in a moment and like shut the door but he's scary i don't like that that's not what you want in your own home is for an animal to

emerge from a door and for your reaction to be i keep oh i keep a gun around you know just in case um winston calls him big brown he doesn't like him. Winston doesn't care for him at all? No, his name is Big Brown. I bit his dick. Did he really? Did Winston bite his dick? Yeah, I bit his dick. What did he think about that, Winston?

He did not like it at all. What, did you like it? I loved it. Dude, we had a dog. He's dead now. Dakota. Dakota. We had a dog.

He's dead now. Dakota. It was very clear that he was enthusiastically happy whenever they took his temperature anally. Dakota, that was just his cup of tea, man. Like, you know, like we'd go to the vet. He's like, here it comes, baby. I know that thermometer is a part of my near future, and I'm excited about that. She'd insert that thermometer. Like, the tail is a part of my near future and I'm excited about that she didn't insert that thermometer the tail is a

problem almost he's so excited no I bit his dick because he's a bitch yeah Dakota loved having his temperature taken I know they say that some dogs like they'll bite if they're biting you or someone else or you want them to release

you can stick your finger up their butt and they'll turn loose of whatever they have I've heard that I don dogs, if they're biting you or someone else, or you want them to release, you can stick your finger up their butt, and they'll turn loose of whatever they have. I've heard that. I don't know if it's true. I've heard that. Check their oil. Y'all. Add and then new topic? Sure. My screen will close down.

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slash pka. That's audible.com slash pka. Excellent service. We use it. Just add a note here. You might want to check out Anna Kendrick's autobiographical collection of essays, Scrappy Little Nobody. Maybe he liked that one.

Also, John Grisham recently released a new book called Whistler. So yeah, check him out. Taylor, have you been reading much lately? I feel like Taylor is a voracious reader. What is that word that I'm not getting? Voracious. Voracious, yes. Is that still true?

In the last, God, I haven't been reading much at all in probably the last like six, eight months. I need to get back on it. I go through weird phases with reading, kind of like how I get into Magic the Gathering, where I'll find like a book that I like, where like the last time it happened, I think it was The Martian, where I just like pick up a book on a whim, like I haven't read a book in a while, I should read something. And then I go off that and I'm like, that was a great story i should have never stopped reading books like this i can just imagine everything in my head it's like it's almost better than a movie in some ways and it calms you down it's a better way to get ready for bed like when i was from like

18 to almost the way through not all the way through college but i used to do it where i like i would read for like an hour hour and a half before bed most nights all through high school and it put me to bed earlier, easier than watching TV. And I need to go back to that. But yeah, I'm not in a phase right now of reading. But even just talking about this, though, I guarantee I'll start again. Because I'll put a wild hair up my ass. But are you guys like that with reading?

Where you go a long time and you just aren't into it. And then you just do book after book after book after book for a little while. And then you kind of go, ah, video games are pretty fun too. And then you switch back. just do book after book after book after book for a little while and then you kind of go ah video games are pretty fun too and then you switch back i don't do book after book but when i every time i i do pick something up and get into something i'm like oh yeah this is wonderful this is really i can relate to it being better than a movie in some ways um so yeah i can go along with that but i don't know i i usually pick something that's a that's a movie or a TV show. There's a few books that I would like to read, though.

They aren't necessarily new books. I don't have any interest in reading anything new. But there's definitely some old stuff I'd like to read. And there's some source material to things that I already like that I would like to read. Like the Silmarillion? Like the Silmarillion, yeah. That would be cool to get into. What is that?

It's like the appendix of the fucking um appendices of the lord of the rings it's all the nitty-gritty bullshit but but more likely with something like the walking dead comic you know we like the show so it was like oh let's let's check out the source material and that's really easy to to you know read and digest and everything but um i what happens to me is i'll get interested in something else in a like i get super invested in stuff right now obviously it's paramotors so uh the last book i read was understanding the sky it's a like a weather book um and it's it's different like of course there's weather in a macro level there's weather in a micro level like you know what happens when the wind hits this

hill or this channel or this trees or these fields and and what to expect and predict like you know whether that's happening within your line of sight and um it it's really complicated to me i read the whole book every word and i feel like i need to go back on some of the chapters because i'm like i got like 40 of this maybe you know they would take like a collegiate take a bachelor's degree if you if you understood everything that was in that book that's like four years of schooling in my opinion on meteorology so uh i don't pretend to have it all but i learned a lot you understood enough for your purposes like you i'm sure i got a lot from it for my purposes i would like my knowledge to be even more complete you know i I want to look out.

Stuff was happening. Like yesterday I was flying and I went over a water source and I'm like, you know what, there's going to be sink here because there's lift there. It's temperature differences creating thermals. Or one thing, I saw birds, you know, just out there not flapping their wings, doing circles. You can fucking expect a lot of lift right there. Otherwise the birds wouldn't be flying without flapping wings, you so um but that's what it is for me like i'll get into this old one

example like aquariums so i read a bunch of books on like reef keeping and fish and whatnot or i'll get into brazilian jiu-jitsu and i read a bunch of books on that i did that with poker oh yeah i read a lot of poker books uh which are interesting because poker players kind of had kind of became uh personalities right away you know like oh are you a doyle brunson system kind of guy or you've a daniel negron you system kind of guy that's what does that mean like doyle brunson's play is an older real traditional kind of player and and he plays it's a real traditional kind of game, playing strong hands from the start,

throwing everything else away, and working at a job and grinding. Whereas Daniel Negreanu is more of an active player that plays a lot of suited connectors, plays a lot of mind games. He always wants his game to be unpredictable, so he's unpredictable. He's also excellent at reading the flow of the game

and by seeing how the betting patterns went down, you know, deducing what you may, or you were most likely to have. He's that player that you may have seen guessing other people's hole cards at the table a lot. So yeah, I read all those books. Antonio Esfandiari, all those guys. Huh.

Huh. Yeah. That does sound pretty interesting. I just don't play poker enough. I read fiction. Like, I think Taylor mostly reads fiction. I mostly read fuck non-fiction thanks yeah i'm i'm really it was hard not to call it faction right there it should be hey i'm down with that let's call it faction from now on i like that better you know what that is better it really is so uh but when i do read fiction

every once in a while like taylor i I'm like, oh, my God. I had forgotten how good this is. Like this is so – why isn't everybody else doing this? This is amazing. And I did get a kick out of the Audible ad read where they're like, hey, is reading while driving too bumpy? Yes, that's the issue I've run into. Yes. I've got my book up there and it's really just bumpy.

That's the issue. But, yeah, they have – the syncup thing to me is the coolest feature, and we've used it where you can read off your e-reader, whether that's your phone or your Kindle or whatever, and then you're driving. It picks up at that spot and reads to you, and then the next time you want to curl up in bed, you pick up at that spot.

It's really hard to do that without audible i really prefer the um someone reading the book to me than reading it myself it's a whole different experience like like it's it's it's a very different experience when i'm reading it to myself the timing is different like the i read slower uh i can read really fast and i guess i'll comprehend it but it's more like getting cliff notes than it is like getting into the moment and really experiencing it. If you read Harry Potter, for example, nice and slow, it is a children's book, shouldn't be too hard.

They talk about the feast they're having and what things feel like, and you know exactly what every character looks like. I guess all books do that really well, but in Harry Potter, they especially take a lot of time to tell you about the jellied ham and whatever kind of salted fish they're eating. And if you really take your time and let yourself

be there, let yourself picture it all, picture the smells and the tastes and what it feels like in the room, you experience it a lot more than even some 4K movie could ever provide you. Your brain is amazing that way. But in the same regard, I really, really like listening to Roy Detrice

do his voices and character accents and put the perfect amount of... the perfect cadence on every word, I feel like. Most of the time, anyway. There's some times when he forgets the characters' names and how to pronounce them, but I'll forgive that Catlin I don't like it as much having it read to me as I do reading it because I find when I'm reading it like you said you go slower and so like if I'm reading about like a vivid scene that I'm really interested in I'll read really slow

and really picture it and I do little cognitive things where like i'll change something that i don't like where it'll be like and you know they're all wearing red and they were in the feast hall and there's red that doesn't look right in my head it's gonna be blue and then you just change little things in your head and you can really picture this vivid thing and then you can go back other times and like reread the paragraph you just did like if you didn't quite get it whereas if you zone out on an audiobook maybe you zone back in like with a music song or whatever you're like oh fuck well i don't really know what anybody's doing at this point i haven't been paying attention for the last four minutes like i'm pretty good at staying engaged with the audiobook like like like but if you ever get out

of it it'll put you to sleep and you'll you'll be like oh shit wait a minute what's the last thing i remember okay they were get they were hitching the horses together okay and now they're in now they've already fought a battle we got to rewind here this is no good but most of the time i really try to stay 100 engaged like you can't talk to me while i'm listening to that like like shut the fuck up now we got to rewind we don't know what they drank we don't know what they drank it could be important later yeah i'm with you on that like if you're listening to an audiobook and people think like that it doesn't this has a hundred percent of my attention why you think i can multitask with you right now i don't know you know because i guess with television

you can but yeah you know if you it depends on the show like some people just don't have as much respect for like tv movies books whatever as because a lot of, a lot of people put them on in the background. And we all put stuff on in the background. Parks and Rec, How I Met Your Mother. Sure, you don't feel as lonely. You put the knife away. It's good to have someone talking in the room during the day.

You can't relate to this? Okay, maybe not. You'll get there. So it's one of those things that all of us do. But there are some people who do it all the time. They're never like a hundred percent into a show where they're like absorbing it and becoming part of it and uh and just fully engrossed but that's me with almost everything like if i'm into it enough to start it then i'm

gonna get engrossed with it and pay 100 attention so i don't want to be interrupted new topic we have some ama questions but this one i added What's one thing you can openly admit that you suck at doing? I can go first if you guys want to think about it. I just gave this little thought recently. You know what I'm terrible at? Finding things. Like if I don't know where a thing is at a store they'll be like oh it's aisle 12 you don't understand i've already spent like 10 minutes in aisle 12 i didn't see it i need you

to walk up to it and touch it with your finger or i won't find it on my own and uh like if it's retail help and stuff and i say that they usually laugh for some reason my wife does not think it's funny at all you know i'm just honey, touch it with your finger. I can't find it otherwise. And she's like, really, really? Yes, honestly, it's really the level of assistance I need right now. I've been looking on the pantry, right,

like in the, I don't know, like I'm looking for ibuprofen. I've been looking amongst all the vitamins and pills for nine minutes now, it's invisible to me, you have to touch it with your finger or I don't believe it's there. And that, yeah. If I, I'll be like working on a motor or something and I drop a nut and I can't find it,

I don't know, it's invisible to me. I will come out to Jackie and say, I was holding it here, I think it went off in this general direction, I give her like a little V-shaped radar. And that's the information she needs to find it, even though I'm the one that saw it fall that way. Interesting. These are even parts that she doesn't know what they look like. You're like, honey, I dropped the doodad. It's black, kind of tube-shaped, with a speck of red on it.

And she's like, alright. And then she'll hunt it down and find that before I do. I'm not bad at that. Like if they tell me like aisle 11, I can go to aisle 11 and find it. But if I've been to a friend's house, like let's say I have a friend who lives like right down the road and they take a left and then their house is like fifth on the right or something. Like if they describe to me, you just take a left out of where you live. You go for one mile. You take a right and then you'll see the house from there. You'll see a sign in a red brick mailbox right there. I hate that.

And I can't do it. I'm like, no, you don't understand. I will get lost and I will show up at your house angry and disconcerted. I will be stressed out because nothing stresses me out like being lost. Just text me the address. Just send me the address. Because if I – well, you've been here 10 times. Well, I'm coming from a different place this time.

And I only know – I'm so bad with directions. I learned one way from like my home base. And we moved like 11 times to at least 10 times around the st louis area as i was growing up and so it was always like oh we need to go to this wherever place uh do you know how to get there taylor it's like well no no because this is the ninth house i've lived in in st louis area so i really i you think you know st louis since you lived all over it yeah i i do at this point now but oh god it was so stressful when it was like, oh, do I take a left here? Like I get mixed up in my head with directions really bad where I have to consciously think like, okay, I'm coming from the south now.

And so that means that I'm used to taking a left on this road, but I got to take a right. Remember that. And I have to like consciously have that in my head. I'm so fucking bad with directions. So that's, again, everybody in my life knows it. Nobody trusts me. I'm a great driver, but i'm the worst navigator of anyone that i know arguably it's funny when you meet like so i'm 43 and there are people in my life who are like my age or older and every so often someone's giving you directions like it's still the 80s like all

right all right all right you have to memorize these 12 steps. You go here, you go here, you go here. It's like, dude, I have a phone. Give me the address, and Siri will just guide me all the way there. Some people won't want to give it to you. They're like, no, no, it's much easier. Just go to Main Street. And I'm like, I don't know what Main Street is. I don't know what that is or where it would be. Let's just start with a fucking address, and the phone will do the rest, dude.

You know where you are, right? Yeah, just tell me the address. I will find find you and i will find you in a good mood because i have like a decompression time when i get lost like when it's funny if we're driving around somewhere and melissa's driving and we're in a new place and we get a little lost i'm like mr it's okay not a big deal we'll just loop around up here it's gonna be fine if i'm driving though and we do the exact same thing i will be curt and unpleasant and being like god fucking every time i get in the car i get fucking i i had a meltdown in san antonio we were in san antonio and i woke up before everyone else and i wanted to go i was starving and i wanted to go get some lunch and i

think they had eaten like breakfast which i don't eat so i was like all right well I'm gonna take the rental car and I'm gonna go out and get some food I'll be back uh you know 40 minutes when it's time to leave and head on to the next part of Texas or whatever I took that explore rental car and got lost in San Antonio and I just couldn't find my way back there were all these one-way streets I turned down a one-way street at one point and I and there are cars coming at me, and I have to like, God damn it, put it in reverse and do a three-point turn, and

my face is so red and hot, and I'm sweating in my clothes and want to take them off, and I just remember beating that steering wheel with the palm of my hand, just like, Motherfucking piece of shit! Why won't you just take me back to the fucking hotel? And I just made, 40 minutes I drove around in circles trying to get back to the hotel never got the food just got back got out of the car i was like somebody else fucking drive somebody else fucking drive i'm not

i'm done i'm done every once in a while i'll run across someone who knows that gps's make mistakes and they fix it for you like i there's there's one airfield i fly out of and they're like hey if you follow the gps it takes you like half a mile too far. So look for the windsock and turn there. When I hear that, I'm like, oh, you're wonderful. I've got the GPS and local knowledge. They really nailed it. That stuff impresses me.

Yeah, we go places sometimes where the GPS just can't take you, and I hate that. That guy in Texas, the GPS doesn't take you to his I hate that. You know, like when we go that guy in Texas, like the GPS doesn't take you to his mailbox. It takes you to the road that they live on. And it's a long road. It's like, yeah, just drive until you see the big fence. And it's like, this whole countryside is nothing but big fences and gates. Like everyone here thinks that they're

been cartwright and this is their bonanza. So they all have big wrought iron gates and like, you know, dead animals cart made out of the steel and everything like you. You guys are all the same here. Yeah, I like it when I can't count the number of times, even in like the last probably year that I've like been alone in the car and like banged on the steering wheel and just been like why am i always fucking lost why are you such a fucking idiot you know why can't you why can't you figure this shit out and i get so mad at myself for it like just oh if i go on my phone and i like take a left when i was supposed

to because you know sometimes it gets delayed on the gps and it's like hey take a right in 100 yards and you think 100 yards came up but you took the turn too early or too late or whatever and then it does recalculating and it doesn't if it doesn't immediately tell me the new route that i am taking if it takes more than three seconds literally three seconds to go this is your new track i my heartbeat starts to beat up because i'm off the path. I disobeyed the GPS and now I will pay the consequences of having to get in some traffic or some awful shit. Oh man, just being lost stresses me

out so much. I hate it. So I was going home. I wanted to take I went to a different airfield and I've only been there once before but rather than take the main route home which is filled with construction and traffic lights, I went through back roads. Tons of turns. it seemed like every two miles there was a new turn but it was my preference to the thing i got this um vent phone holder which was something new to me and i

didn't realize that if you had the heat on the phone would like turn off say the temperature's too high and flip into like an emergency mode or something yeah so i'm left without a gps in the middle of nowhere so I'm running the air conditioning on the phone to get it to come back. To me, I was just like, well, all these roads connect to each other. I'm

comfortably lost. It'll be what it'll be. I got home. Taylor's not the same way. Kyle, what's something you're openly bad at? Shit, I don't know. I fucking suck at drawing. I can't draw for shit.

I don't know how many times since I was a kid I've tried to draw a face just on a piece of notebook paper, scratch paper, whatever. I start with that oval and I'm like, all right, good. I put that nose there. That looks pretty good. Then I'm lost. That's it. I got the oval head. I got a nose right in the middle. After that,

I can't do fucking shit. I can't put a mouth on that thing. It was a good nose, too. Yeah. It's a little round thing. I'm good at the nose. I got that down. I put the nostrils in, fill them in, put a little shading there. Can't draw the mouth. The eyes are always like, one's this big and one's

this big. All these fucked up eyes. I just can't draw. Although, you look rick and morty animation and maybe i have hope right like you start thinking about it like they're all just fucking stick figures with like asterisks for pupils so i'm so bad at drawing when i was like seven years old i was at a friend's house and we were watching this after school show that showed you how to draw better where it was just this guy who's like i don't remember his name it wasn't uh the happy bush guy it was some other guy who i think it was on maybe vhs and he's like you know draw a happy little circle or a little line here and then just a little thing and it was

like just little tips to help kids and then in the end it was like he wrapped it all up like oh you didn't know that this part was going to be the lion tail did you and this part was going to be the big ferocious lion mane and the fangs rawr and i was sitting there with my friend and after like six drawings of sitting there and getting progressively more frustrated as mine come out terribly and theirs come out perfect i didn't think she'd be home this early but oh i was so upset so upset that i couldn't draw i'm the worst at it melissa's a very good drawer that's her one of her very good talents but what else am i horrible at language language other languages i'm terrible at that we were having a question of things were awful at and

i said directions as number one isn't it something like if we ask our significant others they'll have no shortage on the list like oh well let me tell you you're bad at this like if we ask our significant others, they'll have no shortage on the list? Like, oh, well, let me tell you, you're bad at this. Yeah, if I ask Melissa, it'll be like, well, and you're bad at noticing different colors because I tell you to use this color towel, and then you're... Not the chicken in the dishwasher. Yes, not leaving bits of food on stuff,

putting it in a dishwasher. Not the bits, they were chunks. No, that's... The difference between a bit and a chunk is a little bit subjective I think It did because when I was well It's because my mom taught me how to do the dishes wrong when I was growing up because I guess we had a dishwasher That could handle bits and I misinterpreted it yet. Well now

It sounds like your dishwasher could handle chunks I want to be able to put a whole cake in there and just shut it and close it. They don't make those. Yeah, they don't make those. And so, retrospect, it does make sense why our dishwasher stopped working so often. Do you guys prefer a dishwasher with or without a grinder? A grinder? So some dishwashers have grinders, and they can handle chunks.

Other dishwashers do not. So you have to clean the filter more often. Does yours have a grinder? We've had dishwashers with grinders, but they were always too loud for our tastes. We prefer a silent dishwasher. So now ours doesn't. And you really can't tell it's on.

It shines a red like laser on the ground. And that's how you know if it's running or not. It's super quiet so grinder lists have their their ups you just have to you know clean the filter more often do you know you can cook in your dishwasher yes you can if you put uh i think you like wrap stuff in plastic and you put it on the top part right or put it in a jar oh there you go yeah she cooks an entire meal in her dishwasher does she not have a stove um i think she just wants a lot of youtube views i think that was the goal yeah well what

is she what meal is she cooking in this dishwasher she's got a few things there uh some strawberries or something huh i don't know what's that i need to i'm fast forwarding. She's got a whole meal there. I just happened to skip to this. This is the definition of it. I assume sous vide, S-O-U-S-V-I-D-E, French for under vacuum, is a method of cooking in which food is sealed in airtight plastic bags

then placed in a water bath, typically around 131 to 140 degrees Fahrenheit for long periods of time. The intent is to cook the item evenly and retain moisture. So I guess you can do that. I like that she's doing dishes too.

Like there's a bunch of dirty dishes mixed in with her dish. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really? This isn't as stupid as... Well, yeah it is. I think this would come in handy if your oven broke and you're like, oh no, what are we going to do? How am I going to make my classic

steamed green beans? Or maybe you don't have enough eyes on your stove. You're like, ah, I'm using all four of my eyes. How am I going to make the souffle? I've never heard them called eyes. Dishwasher souffle. We always call them called eyes. Dishwasher souffle. We always call them burners. Dishwasher souffle.

Yeah, I've only heard it as burners as well. Interesting. What do you call the comfortable shoes you might play basketball or tennis in? I call them sneakers, but no one else does. I think the thing I grew up with was tennis shoes. Yeah, tennis shoes. But it's tennis shoes. We just didn't pronounce it correctly. We with was tennis shoes. Yeah, tennis shoes. But it's tennis shoes. We just didn't pronounce it correctly.

We called them tennis shoes. Really? Everybody calls them tennis shoes. Yeah. I call them sneakers. That's what you get in the... Like, I'm in the outskirts of Philly is where I grew up. Yeah, I adopted sneakers because I felt like it was less colloquial and more widely known.

I don't know. You say tennis shoes to some people are like how are you gonna play some tennis well they wouldn't sound like that they'd have a northern accent yeah like no one calls them basketball shoes like that's a specific kind of sneaker to me yeah yeah i don't know that's you i like you you make a lot of very conscious decisions about the words that you used and the way that you spoke them growing up kyle like is there other things that you can think i know you've touched on it before like other little things that you were like you know what i'm gonna say that differently because the way that my ear is terrible oil uh my dad and i both uh did that at one point we were like

there was something that came up there was an oil situation or the word oil was being spoken over and over this guy just no and this guy it was like we're changing some oil or like trying to figure out what kind of gear oil this piece of machinery needed and this guy who were getting advice from was like oh you need eight quarts oil and fill it up with oil and and at the end of it i was like you know why is he saying all i was like i i have to make my mouth do something weird to even say that word it's oil isn't it and dad's like yeah it is isn't it and dad's like yeah it is oil but it feels kind of funny saying it that way doesn't it and i was like i'm just gonna call it oil from now on he's like yeah me too and literally like if you got him to say oil right now he would go through the effort of going oil like he'll he'll put a little music in it for you just to like like like make

sure that you know that like hey hey, I'm not conceited. I'm not saying oil because I think I'm better than you. It's just because I know that's how it's pronounced. Do you ever hear Earl, like E-A-R-L almost? Like when people say you need some Earl? Yeah. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, Earl.

That one bothers me more. Tire is the one that bothers me the most. Some people will call it pretty much T-A-R, a tar. Tar. Yeah, tar. That's how my grandparents call it yeah you know or the worst and this is really mostly a jersey thing when they make the plural of you use you know that that rings it's a north jersey thing for people that care um but like when i hear, it's like fingernails on a chalkboard makes it sound like it's really unpleasant, but it's attention grabbing in my mind. Like it's what the and I think what it is, at least to me. Yeah. To me, the reason I don't want to say use is because of the

kind of person I associate with saying use. I kind of picture like a Gambino kind of guy, right? Like an Italian American who's way too proud of being an Italian-American, who's wearing the wind suit and maybe pretending like he's hooked up with the mob. And some say, hey, my cousin Nicky, you know, youse guys would be in a lot of trouble if I told him. You know, something like that. Youse guys. Yeah, that's not what I have in my head.

I make one call and youse guys is going to be sorry you know use for me is my father-in-law he's a fireman from patterson new jersey and it's just where he grew up really nice guy um if you met him he would try and feed you and uh um but he said use and um god i don't want to say anything negative about him and he is dead But it didn't strike me as educated. Exactly. That's part of it, too. Yeah. Have you ever heard the Pittsburgh – or I'm sure you did growing up where you did. You heard the Pittsburgh way of saying it, like the yins?

No. Like, what are yins doing? I haven't heard that, no. That's like – if you take those language quizzes like we did, the only thing – like, it'll say, like, what do you call a group of people? Y'all, yous, you, yins. And yins. It's yuans.

Yuans is somewhere, and then yins, Y-I-N-Z, is only in Pittsburgh. And apparently people will say yins, guys. And it's... There's a lot of Germanic... Did Sidney Crosby say that, that fucking crybaby faggot? Well, he is not from Pittsburgh. Well, he is now.

I know you think he is now. He's a goal per game so far this season, so that might be sticking in your craw a bit. Less than you might guess. I didn't even know that. I didn't even know. I really just researched bad things about the Blues. That's the extent of my hockey knowledge.

They won last game, so I got nothing to say. Won the last three. I think the genesis of it was just like, I don't remember any specific example, but maybe it was my own prejudice and then me turning it around on myself. But I always thought that that Southern accent and the way that we pronounce certain words

and the way we use certain words just really sounded uneducated. And it just went to further feed into a stereotype that a lot of the country has about people from the south and it it it feels bad it feels bad when someone prejudges you based on how you speak you know you don't like that so i really wanted to distance myself and get away from that as much as i could like very early on like i didn't care for it like a lot of stereotypes it kind of exists for a reason you know so i did off-roading in the south and that is a strongly like country place and and uh yeah the guys that have the super thick southern accents you know they were drunk and they were

wearing overalls and and you know they may or may not have finished high school and that's like the they're the people who made the stereotype true for the people that it's true for. But there's stupid people – stupid, uneducated people all over. I bet there's people in the north who have a certain accent or connotation just like, hey, you don't want to be like one of those guys. Don't talk like that. You don't want to be like one of them. That guy's – maybe they're leaning towards crime or maybe they're just living off the system or doing something like that. Whatever the version of being

a drunk, uneducated redneck in the South is for the North, that exists. There's just shitty people everywhere, and you don't want to be associated with one of them, even if it's unfairly so because of the way you talk. That's true. Let's do an AMA. I can't change my state.

I was going to ask you about the hockey team in Vegas real quick. Oh, yes. Can you post it in there at the same time? Just put the link to it. The link to the AMA. I thought you were talking about the Golden Knights thing. So yeah, the

Las Vegas Golden Knights I guess are the new NHL team that's coming next year to Vegas. And I think they're joining the Pacific division because that makes the most sense trying to drum up some rivalry there maybe I don't know you had a team like that where does the roster come from all right like here's what I'm picturing and maybe you can fill in the blanks you've got an owner or like maybe more likely maybe a media group that now owns the team and uh and they've got a certain amount of money i

suppose for players where are they going to get these players immediately and will they only start playing hockey next year is that it like beginning of next season they start playing yes beginning of next season is when in the interim i imagine right now they're looking for players but do they get those players from the league and they get those players from farm systems or is it both they get it from the league so they'll have an expansion farm systems or is it both they get it from the league so they'll have an expansion draft because obviously if they just had to pull from farm systems they wouldn't even be able to compete as an nhl team they'd just be getting blown out 12 nothing every game so they have an expansion draft and if i recall the way they used to do

the expansion draft is that you could protect more players or something so that you could be like all right you know these are the players this you know group of three people these are the ones that you can pick from on our team you know maybe it maybe you luck out and there's a really good guy in that group that just happens to be a free agent the next year or something hasn't signed a contract yet or maybe it's just two guys where it's like fuck that's really not going to help us at all but so like when columbus blue jackets in 2000 or whatever became a team they were horrible for years but i think the way they're doing it now is they're making it harder to protect a lot of the players because they're trying to make vegas a team right away that well

that seems shitty to me so you're telling me that that's not terrible so so how likely is it that big t for example is playing in vegas next year what would it take why is it that Big T, for example, is playing in Vegas next year? What would it take? Why is it 0%? Because he has an eight-year contract signed with the Blues. So they have to have a contract? If they have a contract, then it has to... First, you have to have a no-move clause.

You have to not have a no-move clause or no-trade clause. I don't understand the specifics of it as much. I just know that they pick from other teams and that they're doing it in a way this time no move clause or no trade clause um i don't understand the specifics of it as much i just know that they pick from other teams and that they're doing it in a way this time to try and make them at least a middling team off the bat so that they're not just terrible kind of like kyle asked um so in philadelphia i think their top player is still considered claude geroux but one of our most exciting players that would like the future might be way Wayne Simmons. How likely is it that we lose Wayne Simmons? The second or third best player

on the team? I don't think it's likely that you would lose him. I don't know what his contract situation is. Somebody's losing people though, right? They've got to make up... How many players are on the team? 40? 25? That seems like very few for such an injury-ridden sport.

Those guys are tough, huh? Well, there's a whole minor league full of call-ups that they call up a lot. Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of injuries, but it's like 20-something, like 21 on the bench usually. Wow, that's interesting. It'll be weird to see. I bet that hurts somebody.

There's going to be some team somewhere, some fan is going to be like, oh, my God, they came in and fucking took our number one guy that we've been like grooming for three years he was about to replace our our aging goaltender now we got this guy or like like see that's something that like um so there's a huge number of goaltenders right now that are going to be available so vegas is gonna have good goaltending off the start like maybe ben bishop goes there or more likely than that ben bishop will sign with someone else this is the first professional team in vegas right the first professional team in vegas yeah that's pretty cool i guess we'll have a better goaltender than philly just because philly and goaltending fuck i i think that most likely they're going to end up with mark andre flurry as their goalie the the

current penguins one of their goalies because i think they're he's end up with mark andre flurry as their goalie the the current penguins one of their goalies because i think they're he's getting older and they have matt murray coming up who played most of the stanley cup winning playoffs last year for them and i think they're going to put more faith in him and there's just no reason to keep an expensive guy like flurry around i wonder um as well i wonder where they're going to play do they already have a hockey uh rink their arena ready to, they have an arena there. I don't know the name of it or what it looks like, but I know they have one.

I know they've got plenty of facilities. They do all those shows and stuff, and you can really quickly transform something that doesn't look like a hockey rink into one. That's what they were doing at the Staples Center when the Thrashers were here. It would be basketball one night and then fucking hockey the next. They just pull the bleachers back and do it. Yeah, it's going to be neat. I wish it was a new team in the eastern conference so that i could

like them more but in the western conference it's fine like watch out goes i like the vegas got it because i i think that there was this thing about gambling i want gambling to be a nationwide thing i hope that that's our future like I see England outlawing porn, and I'm thinking they should be going the opposite way. They should be legalizing some stuff. We should be figuring out stuff that we can release and turn loose, like prostitution and gambling and marijuana. I think those three things are what are going to really make our economy strong

in the 21st century. Prostitution, gambling, and marijuana. That's a service-based economy. You know what? I'd vote for that. With pot. Yeah, I'm going to have an all-in-one shop and do all three.

Maybe two shops. Simultaneously? If you want. You can gamble on which whore is high. I don't care. Do whatever you want to do. We can mix it up. It doesn't have to be crazy,

but I think all three of those should be legal and taxed and utilized. Because it's what everybody wants, right? Everybody wants sex and weed and what was that other one? Gambling? Yeah. More than anything, Joe, just legalize weed. Just legalize that.

That's going to make more money than those other things. Actually, it probably won't make more than prostitution because that is the oldest. It'll have a hard time making more than gambling, prostitution will never be legalized here they won't ever do it it's already legal in uh in nevada yeah but that's like the one little holdout thing and it's like on a it's like the same kind of like little loophole i think that allows like some people to be polygamists in parts of utah like that kind of shit like i don't think like there's just no way that people are going to be polygamists in parts of Utah. That kind of shit. There's just no way that people are going to be on board. Even the guys who want to go out and fuck

hookers aren't going to be standing in that crowd, we want prostitutes, yeah! Pay for play! Pay for play! I'll pick it for prostitution. It should totally be legal. The opposite is the side who doesn't care about women.

If you're wanting to keep this thing in the shadows, if you're wanting to keep this moratorium on it, then you're subjecting not only the women who are involved with prostitution, but their customers to the beatings, the violence, the disease, all that stuff. If you regulate it, get people who are in charge behind it, get laws behind it, then all of a sudden, it's like marijuana in Colorado. It's making you several billion dollars a year. Nobody's getting hurt.

And, you know, now young, what's that degree? Now women's studies graduates have a career path that they can go to. Yeah, there you go. Or at the very least, their career can be complaining about the now legal prostitution

industry yeah sure there you go keep the world turning i think it's a very feminist position to legalize prostitution i think it is it is it's very empowering think about what we're going back to we're telling a woman what she can and can't do with her body you know it's the same thing like if we can't tell her she can't if we we can tell her. That's a strong point. Yeah, that's the actual point. Like, should women be able to be like, hey, you want to fuck me? Pay me $100. You know, this is my body and that's my decision and that's my price or whatever it is.

And then you do that. Or do you want to keep it, like Kyle said, as a black market where she's like, you know, I don't want to fuck people for $50. But, you know, big Tony over there with his big purple coat and cane is going to beat me over the back of the knees again if I don't bring enough money home. So I guess I better do this. I'm kind of trapped in this world now. I can't leave this prostitution hellhole like that.

Why would, like, obviously legalizing this kind of stuff is better. I just don't think it'll happen. Yeah, yeah. Well, I find the whorehouses in Vegas really interesting. I wouldn't go to one, I don't think. They're so laissez-faire about it. They're so, like, casual about it that it kind of turns me off. It's kind of gross.

Like, it's like getting an oil change or something from the videos I've watched and stuff. Like, I don't want to fuck that chick at all. It's like now surfing number 66, you know, and then you go, oh, that's me. And you've got your little paper card and you go back there. I think I'm smart enough to see through their bad acting, you know, like, and so it's just, it'd be such a turnoff to me. I have seen like, I like the illusion that they'd be into me, you know, like I, like you saying, you know, if she's back there and she's literally fucked like 38 people

today, I don't know. That's probably an exaggeration. Three or four or five. A day? Yeah. Even if I was her fourth that day, that would be a turnoff to me. Yeah, that's a huge turnoff. Because like part of the reason like you want to enjoy it is because you want to feel like you're wanted there.

Like that you didn't just, you know. You want some validation, right? Traps into the room and then they're doing it because it's their job. Like you want there to be like a reciprocal act like but i guess some people get off on the whole paying for it thing i know jim norton jim norton does it all the time norton does it jim norton has to do it has to do it jim norton does is is a very unattractive uh man he's rich that makes him wait that's three we overestimate. I think that everyone overestimates how much pussy being rich gets you. Like, sure, he's rich.

He's worth several million dollars, I would guess. And he's famous for being funny and stuff. But that's not making pussies wet. You know, Jim Norton is not going to, like, take you under his wing and you're going to be his full-time squeeze. Jim Norton's a weird fucking guy. He likes, you know, he likes fucking trannies and he's always on the road fucking different hookers. Like, you're just the hooker for tonight like like so he's kind of a unique kind of yeah he's uh an outlier he's definitely an outlier um i don't know i would definitely pay for sex but

it would be a different kind of sex than you would want to have with a girlfriend or something maybe if you're going to have some weird dragon dick sex i was just going to say like the porn star experience or the girlfriend experience? I haven't listened to enough Jim Norton to really know the score. But those, to me, are the two things you choose between. And it seems like what you really want is the girlfriend experience flipping over to the porn star experience at the end of the night. Maybe. Maybe.

Or maybe you want all of the above. I really wish they would legalize prostitution. And it's not because I would go to prostitutes. I just think it's the right thing to do. And I would like to see all the people who think it's so immoral and dirty, like, you know, have to cry into their hankies like the Clinton supporters did the other day. politicians came around in favor of it like i think about where pot is now and even now both hillary and trump kind of distanced themselves from it being a good idea certainly not flying the green flag or anything right and you know and i think more than half of america can legally smoke pot now i saw that on the internet it must be oh that's awesome yeah and a big part is because california has it that i don't know what that is i'm going to make it up like 20 of our population right yeah maybe you know so so with them and then like the fuck the whole pacific coast is legal there now yeah the whole west coast that's like the country yeah yeah oh shit the whole pacific coast and nevada must be like a

third of our population right there and then you throw in some of those northeast states and you've got half massachusetts colorado got it now florida has it now they've got medical um colorado um around me it's just florida florida's the only one nearby and then new hampshire maybe what's florida's like is it like california's medical okay yeah i don't know yeah there's like you know oh do you have glaucoma or cancer and when you have have cancer, you have both pain and lack of appetite. Then you get it. And then there's the California one where there's just like a ticket booth doctor handing it out all day at $70 a pop. Dr. Dude, surf's up, bro.

Here's your script. Missouri touches like seven different states, and I don't think any of them allow weed in any way. It's just a huge circle of conservative no no no kush you know yeah you've got to go to oh you got to go to uh Canada that's that may be I don't know which is closer to you Canada or Colorado or is Illinois well definitely it'd be easier just go to Colorado but uh Illinois do they do it at all I don't think they do I don't know.

You would think they would. Like, Jesus, Illinois seems like such a shithole. Chicago, really, right? Chicago just seems like such a fucking mess. If you listen to it on the news, I'd say so. But whenever I go to Chicago, it's like my favorite city in the nation. Yeah. Right? Where are we going?

We're going to the good parts. I guess. I think Chicago's amazing. Yeah. I remember the first time I went up there, Paul took me into the city and like where the skyscrapers are in chicago and like we're driving along through all that it was all beautiful and nice and like went to a nice restaurant and some nice uh stores and stuff and i was like wow chicago's like mini la with a big lake over there like this is cool yeah but to see it on tv it's detroit 2.0 and and there's so many murders every

weekend they don't even bother keeping up with them. Yeah, it's just because you weren't in South Chicago. Like you were hanging out in the fun parts. You weren't driving to the shit area. We had to drive through the shitty areas though because we were trekking from Chicago to Joliet every day and stuff. Shitty areas are always unimpressive to me. Like when they say, oh, this is the area where all this shit goes down. I look at it and I'm like like it seems like just a regular place

to me when my grandmother grew up when i grew up when i visited my where my father grew up when my grandmother is or was um that part of of it was gloucester gloucester new jersey right next to camden was um i think it would rival any of the bad places that you see in chicago and such it's it was fully bad. We used to walk around there as kids, like unattended. Had a slum smell. I do remember this distinct smell. They exaggerate so much of that shit on the news.

If I could put both of you in a car and drive you through Ferguson, and if I didn't tell you we're entering Ferguson, you would have no idea. We'll hit the protester halfway through. We're here! Heads down heads down everybody roll them up uh oh man yeah it it's easy to think that like all of somewhere like chicago is just like burning buildings and sirens and desolate awfulness but that's just the news yeah i've heard about rough parts of atlanta but i've rarely seen

them there's some neighborhoods that we've driven through before that we were like how much would it take to get you to you know walk through here at night time and we're all just like fuck that you know no way they'll see us coming you know you're just uh you know uh a white dopey face walking down the street yeah yeah one in the morning you're gonna get fucked out here bro because they're like looking at us like we're aliens like like you know the kids are jumping on the trampoline laughing and they lay eyes on us and they just their legs stop giving effort so they just slowly come to a stop as they bounce like they just let inertia give way as they stare us down like we're Martians coming through their territory. It's like, fuck, man, we just made a wrong turn.

We're leaving right away. I promise. So there's a Patreon level. I think it's $10 where you can ask questions and influence the show. And we've got a bunch of questions here on the side. Check out Patreon if you want to participate in what's going on here. One of the questions was this. It was to Taylor and I.

Who would have the upper hand on a shootout slash breakaway, Taylor or Woody, and can we make it a reality? On the last part, dude, I would love to do that. I would love to go in on a shootout. I think it would take multiple shootouts. I think as far as who has the upper hand, it would be Taylor. I think he played at a higher level than I ever did. I took up ice hockey and started as roller hockey because i moved away from the beach and you can't surf

without the beach so i was like all right i'll start playing hockey and i got into i got really into it um you know it's it's the way i'm wired i get invested in stuff more than than where most people do but it depends on how how good your hands are how fast like i'd have to watch you skate around and take a couple shots before I had any idea. Because if you've got slick hands, then that would be harder. But I feel like if your shot's not very hard and you're not too quick on the deke, then I could save most of them just by kind of being in the right position. And playing aggressively and poke checking, throwing a wrench into your game.

You come in the first time, I throw a poke check out there. Then you're like, I feel like an ass. I got to be more aggressive. Maybe I'll shoot from further out. No, it will be easier to save. By that point, poke check you again. Yeah, I have had – at my league, we're talking about B-League, Beer League hockey.

I was more successful than my skill level would suggest at shootouts. I hit most of them, actually. But I just think Taylor's a much better hockey player than I am. I wouldn't be successful as I was going against him. And to answer your question about my hands, my skating was always pretty good. It wasn't that I was like, I felt like I was as fast as anybody. But the real difference was I went top speed all the time you know i would routinely catch up to plays or or exit plays because people were just not working

as hard and and that helped me a lot and that helped me make space but if i didn't have any space i didn't feel like i had the hands to create it and really make something now that's my yeah i mean yeah any amount of shootouts you'll score eventually because that's just the nature yes if you give me a hundred tries he's fucked yeah he'll he'll score you know probably seven of them might be a good guess but yeah who knows though like I might get back out there and go for like one save and just go in the muscle memory of like sticking my leg too far out and then my body being like you can't do that anymore and then yes that's that's my strategy we'll do a hundred times and i'll try to get him injured somewhere early in the day yes oh that's uh two saves for you no goals for me but you are injured which is

a forfeit not even that i get 98 goals after you're going forward by default yeah you're going forward. You're facing a person twice your strength but you're given an item of your choice from the grocery store. Which item do you take? A gun? It's not an American grocery store. We're shopping at Walmart.

I've seen those big containers of spices. I don't know how big but I would pick a big container of cayenne pepper I think I'm going to – I've seen those big containers of spices, like I don't know how big, but I would pick a big container of cayenne pepper, I think, and just throw a huge like double handful of cayenne pepper into his eyes. I think that would really fuck you up because you'd inhale some. And what do you do once you're on your back on top of the powder getting your head beaten in by this monster? I think you're underestimating how awful it would be to get double handfuls of cayenne thrown in your face and inhale it and get in your eyes and nose and everything.

I think I'm going with a 12-inch kitchen knife. They'd sell that at the grocery store. A big knife is... Meat tenderizer? One of those little hammers? My fear is I'm going to get disarmed in this thing. If he's twice my strength, right?

This guy might literally be 12 feet tall. Shit. I'm in a real pickle here. He is a strong fucking guy. I guess I thought of twice my strength as just a real strong guy. But, Jesus, twice my strength? He's bench pressing like 400 pounds almost. He's an enormous man. His arms are this big. He's a gargant pounds almost he's he's he's an enormous man his arms

are this big like he's a gargantuan twice the street joe lozon said that if he went up against shaquille o'neal in the octagon he would lose because he's just too big too much oh yeah shack yeah he's just too heavy like you could he just he's too heavy you just lay on him yeah so so i i mean uh shit i i guess the knife i feel like that's my best my best chance but i'm gonna get i feel like if they're twice as strong as you you're gonna get like here with your knife and they're gonna bat that away i'm just holding it wrong you want to you want to hold it like you're stabbing with the blade facing out that way this way they can't grab yeah well the the other way actually that way the blade's

on the outside so if he tries to grab your wrist he's grabbing the blade oh like this um the other way so god i got a knife i have a knife but it's literally holding my camera um you hold it like you're stabbing and then the blade is is cutting out nope like this fork that that now let the blade rest along the back of your, the side of your wrist. Like, bring your hand out. Yeah, like that. See, now... Oh, I see you're coming this way. Yeah, now you can punch with it and slice as you go.

And if he ever tries to grab your hand, he's grabbing the blade. Huh. This is not how I would have thought to hold it. Do you have any training in this, or did you make it up on your own? I've seen it on the internet. Yeah, That's how they do it in Call of Duty. This is some internet training that I got.

It's certainly not a knife fighter over here. There's a spot for my pinky here as if perhaps that's a thing. I see. Maybe I might just grab some vodka so I don't remember my ass beating. They try to offer it to him as a peace offering.

Right. What would I get? I know you want to kick my ass, but I got all these nuggets here. Come on. I'm taking the cash from the register and throwing it that way and running that way. I was trying to think of something with cleaning stuff, like if you spray bleach in their eyes or something. But even that, you have to get way too close.

Oh, wasp spray. You could make mustard gas. That would get him. That might be a good one. Hornet spray would be awful. It's mace, basically. You could make mustard gas, bleach and ammonia. You could make gas with that.

I like where you're headed there. That toilet bowl cleaner stuff, you could make a really noxious gas with it too yeah there's lots of bad things you could do to people from a grocery store i guess but if it's just the one item that makes it kind of hard did you see the friends with benefit update yeah so i can you refresh us on the question do you remember it very well i don't remember it very well but the guy definitely got his girlfriend pregnant and didn't know what to do because he was he was about to go to college friend with benefit pregnant okay that's like it's less than girlfriend

to me yeah sure and uh so here's what it says friends with benefit update she is keeping it i am going to be a father i'm planning to go to university i don't know what i'm going to do but i but i'm going to juggle it round should note, there are like three misspelled words here and no punctuation. I hope he learns a lot in university. Shit! He misspelled father in there. God damn.

He misspelled father. This guy's father and he can't spell the word.'ll pick it up he'll pick it up we all learn on that job baby it's okay uh man i look you're in it now right like you know the last thing i'm going to say to someone quicksand is like i want you to step in the quicksand for you big dummy um you know now we got to get you a stick or or something uh but but yeah a lot of hard work ahead it's not something that I've ever done certainly, but I can do the math. And man,

you've got a lot of hard work and dedication ahead of you that most people don't have the will to do. I hope that you do and it works out great for you. And maybe you'll become closer with this girl in the future too and get yourself a nuclear family going after college and use your degree to provide for them.

That's the ideal situation. But, whew. I feel like the world would be more fair if the guy could choose whether or not he was going to be a father. Like, just imagine this scenario. There's a surprise pregnancy and they're friends with benefit or whatever. And now we're making the decision as to whether or not we're going to go pro life or pro choice on this thing. Are we going to keep this baby? The guy should like sign up for it or not.

And then that can inform her decision to keep it or not. Like then it's more of a joint. If she's like, all right, I'm going to be solo on this forever. I need to decide whether I keep it. Or she can say, you know, or he can be like, look, I'm all to be solo on this forever. I need to decide whether I keep it. Or she can say, you know, or he can be like, look, I'm all in. Right. I want to be a dad to this kid. Then, you know, then that I feel like she still gets to make the yes, no call.

But that might influence her to say yes. And then, of course, he's on the hook to stick by that decision. The way it goes now where where she just decides everything, seems unfair. Yeah, it does seem unfair, especially because you're hooked for 18 years, right? Financially, at the very least. And those child support payments are often extremely unfair.

And you never know what you're gonna get like you hear nightmare scenarios where the guy is giving up like way too much money way more than he can afford to he's like well i work but you know 95 of my paycheck goes to her like like i can't eat you know it just doesn't work and then you've got that uh that actor who was on news radioio whose name escapes me. Joe Rogan? No. It was the main star of the show, the skinny guy with the blonde hair. But he got stuck in these alimony payments, I want to say. And they set the alimony during the time he was a big star on NewsRadio, which was the pinnacle of his career.

And they have refused to lower them since then and you know news radio was on like 20 years ago or something like that he's paying a gargantuan alimony payment like it's hundreds of thousands of dollars a year or something he's like i don't make that i don't make that like news radio is over folks like i just get by you know he's trying to explain that like he's fucked by this thing so So I don't know his scenario. I just know how North Carolina works because I've had friends who got divorced. And it's one thing that's nice about it is it's not up for interpretation. There's literally a chart, a table that you go by and you go by number of kids, income,

and then find that spot. And that's how much you pay. There's no judge's decision or whatever. And if your income changes in either direction, or her income changes in either direction, then you just find the new spot on the chart. I should have mentioned it's her. If you make 50 grand and she makes 150 grand,

then they'll just be like, all right, that's where you land. And if her salary increases to a quarter million, then you drop a little. If it drops to $50,000, then it raises a little. And they just look at how much each parent makes, who provides what percentage of support. And it is pretty fair. I have a friend. I think I've told this before, but fuck you. I'll tell it again.

Not you, Kyle. But she took him to court because she said that he was abusing the children and her version of abusing the children was that he was making them eat the healthy bread in their lunches i don't know if it was rye or wheat but they wanted like white wonder bread and she literally took him to court over that and the judge he said he's like i've got drug addicts in here every day i've got you know alcoholics people who really are not caring for their children and you're taking my time with whole wheat bread and uh she's like yeah the kids hate it and he makes them eat it anyway and he's like all right uh that's dismissed

let's check out the child support. And it turned out that her income had risen significantly. She got kind of self-employed. And they lowered his child support. And that was the outcome of the whole trial. She tried to take his kids away for holy bread. Yeah, it was just bullshit. So Dave Foley was the actor's name from News Radio.

He was also in A Bug's Life and Kids in the Hall. He was paying $10,700 per month, which was literally 400% of his income in child support. He cannot return to Canada without facing imprisonment because he owes so much money now. In 2011, he owed half a million dollars. Who is this? I'm sorry. Dave Foley. He was on NewsRadio, Bugs Life, Kids in the Hall,

blonde-haired Canadian actor. His child supporter alimony, I'm not sure which, was set at $10,700 per month because he was making so much money during NewsRadio, and it was never lowered after that five-year deal ended 20 years ago or whatever it was. I hope he gets a huge role i hope he it's another movie gets like 15 million dollars for it and he just pays that off and gets his canadian travel rights

back where it doesn't ever be nice what an evil wife he had yeah i know another one and i'm trying to dox anybody here but uh there's this notion that like there's two sides to every story that they kind of meet in the middle and that's where the truth is uh she she had a husband who was bad and like he gang raped a woman while they were married and like the she was trying to get full custody of her kid and the guy was like the judge wouldn't listen. She's like, no, this is not one of those scenarios where the truth is in the middle. And he's like, oh, trying to take his custody away,

huh? Is it because he's not making the child support payments? And she's like, no, no, that's not it. Stop trying to interpret what's going on. I'm telling you the whole truth. He's bad, and he should be away from my kids. When he did get the kids um like they like he didn't change the diaper like that was the level of bad parent that he was

and he's like yeah this kid got all shitty you know here yeah right she's like i wouldn't want i think it's broke yeah i wouldn't let this person borrow my nice winter coat for fear that he would mess it up. Yet I have to give him my child. And that was the situation that she was in. Well, it was cashmere. He was going to stretch the neck hole all out. Right? So, yeah, sometimes.

I remember that burned into my head as a thing. Like, the truth is in the middle. Everyone's heard that. Two sides to every story. Sometimes it's's not sometimes one person's just full of shit sometimes one person is the wrong party and the other one's just being accurate and uh it's rare that you know like two sides to every story everyone just knows that and believes it to be true but it's not always the case. Yeah, women are evil. Oh.

I was looking at... Oh, sorry. Go ahead, Kyle. Oh, this is really quick. When someone asked M40A3 or R700 in COD4, it's definitely the M40A3. Yeah, the M40A3. Yeah, the R700, for no reason at all, just has more scope sway. It's like 90 scope sway instead of 60 scope sway.

It has nice hit markers on it as far as where you have to shoot to get a one hit kill. I think it's similar to the Barrett, but it's waving around all the time. It's a bolt action. The M40A3 is the best sniper in the game. And it's got smaller capacity than the M40. Yeah, it's like four shots instead of five. M40 holds five, which doesn't seem like a lot, but that's a big difference when it's, you know, if you see five enemies. 25% less ammo, you know, it's a deal.

Or 20% less. Yeah, absolutely. Like, R700 is only worthwhile to use if you want to get, like, the cool camos, because it definitely looks cooler than the M40. Because the scope has camo on it. It's the only one that does it's objectively a worse gun in the game like it's just there's no especially like even the

benefit of maybe you can shoot them in the waist and kill them with the r700 whereas maybe if you hit them in the waist with the m40 it doesn't always kill them but once you get the acog scope on the m40 it it trumps everything. You can shoot them in the left pinky toe, and it'll kill them. Yeah, it's 120 damage then. Yeah, it's overwhelming everything. So yeah, always go M40A3. Although the M21 is so good now with the better hit detection.

I mean, put Juggernaut on and use an M21 and fucking double tap everybody. You're a badass. Like, you don't need to be quick, unless you're quick sc You're a badass. Unless you're quick scoping. If you're quick scoping running around and want to get a lot of one-shot kills. Then M40A3 is the way to go. Twice, right? You don't think stopping power would help more than Juggernaut? No.

It's going to be two shots anyway. Unless you get them neck or above. There's no rate of fire limiter. A a double tap with an M21 is like, bang, bang! It's just almost instant. And then, of course, every now and then, you can spray with it. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang!

Up close. And it really doesn't kill at all. I'm mixing it up with M40. You said that before, and again, I was thinking M40. Is it M40 or MA4? What is it? It's M40A3. And all that bullshit is about

what kind of stock the gun's stuck in. It's a remington 700 you know again just stuck in a fancy stock yeah yeah i like it i like that gun that's one of the most fun ones to or what are you using the most right now kyle because i if i had i would not have assumed that at this point in the game the number one gun i've been using and i've got like 7 500 kills so i've been playing a good amount. 8,000 maybe? I don't know. Yeah, well over 8,000 now, actually. But I've used the RPD for, I think, 20% of every kill I've gotten.

I've used the RPD for it because it's just incredible in this game. I can't find a reason not to use it. If you just play conservatively, because every once in a while I do the thing that I always do, which is start running around with the gun and you always lose gunfights if you're running around with an lmg because you just take longer to heave it up and aim you know you don't the the reaction time somebody with the uzi just and it just zaps you every time so you have to play more conservatively and use your cover and play more like a wings of redemption style but it's best gun in the game for me right now even better than the um m16 i think but the m16 is what i'm using the most of course um deep impact uh in this game and stopping power conjuncted with

the better hit detection makes the m16 just outrageous i'm getting crazy on bog like i'll often get on one side of that wall or the other and hold it so that people aren't going up that side where the fence is. And I'm getting so many wallbang kills with the M16 just rapid firing. I just put Bandolier on and Deep Impact and go to town. This is an Infinity Ward game now, right?

Raven, I believe. I wonder if not too long from now, whether it's Infinity Ward or Raven or whatever, if we'll get Modern Warfare 2 remastered yes that's already in the that'll be the year after next for sure it's not announced but it's

heavily kind of implied and everybody's just prepared for it I think it just makes sense for them to try to make that package to get more people buying the $80 version I see their numbers are way down across the board like 50% less people playing the game. And the PC numbers are just embarrassing, like a few thousand people online on PC.

And I'm not talking about Modern Warfare Remastered, I'm talking about the new Call of Duty Infinite Warfare. I played it a little bit. Are more people playing the old COD than the new one? No, that can't be. There's a significant amount of people playing the remastered game, but it just can't compete with the amount that are playing the new

game, because you've got to have the new game to play the remastered game, but not vice versa, of course. You can't buy the thing alone. I played Infinite Warfare a little bit the other night, and I liked it. I enjoyed what I was doing, but I couldn't get into it. I couldn't grind in that game. I couldn't go for

third prestige, fourth prestige. Alright, now let's reboot again and start over. But what I did do was snipe a lot because I had been quickscoping in COD 4 Remastered that day, and I went over to Infinite Warfare to try to see what the difference was. It's so easy to quickscope in that game.

In COD 4, I'm like, every now and then I'll get two in a row. Just like, bang, bang. Oh, fuck, that was awesome. I'm so happy with myself. I was getting three men in the kill feed at a time with a sniper rifle in Infinite Warfare, and I'm not good at it. It's just, it scopes in instantly and it kills instantly, no matter where you

hit them. Is it like a bolt action gun or is it like, I saw they have like energy guns now, right? All kinds of crazy shit. There's energy guns that shoot blue stuff out of them. The sniper rifle. I don't know much about it. I played like an hour's worth. But I saw all kinds of crazy shit.

And of course, we're all robots. Those are our avatars, which for some reason need to hold their breath and can drown. But we're all robots running around. And I don't know. I enjoyed it. When you get enough points or whatever, my guy turned into some sort of close range sub machine gun armed uh like his arms turn into double machine guns that are have silencers on him and he just runs around with machine gun arms shooting it's a little ridiculous whereas you know on cod 4 i'm like all right i know this map i

better get my rifle out and and flank around edges. This will be fun. This will be tactical. Yeah. Dude, the amount of grenade kills that I'm getting in COD 4 Remastered is unbelievable. And I know it's not just me, obviously. You do the same thing. Anyone who played the old game, I bet, is getting tons of grenade kills because you forgot about how many just, like... Like, it seems like in the newer CODs,

they kind of had a thing where it was more like, all right, this is going to be a choke point, but it's not going to be the kind of choke point where it's just a deadlock and you know it's people just like five people on this side and vacant there's five people on this side of the door there's five people over here maybe people are trickling through the little out outskirt area trying to flank around but mostly it's just war right there in the new games they didn't do that as much but in this game what's awesome is every once in a while or usually like once a game at least, you get a multi-frag just because you know exactly

where those huge clusters are going to be. Like it's, oh, it's so much fun. That's my favorite part of the game. The maps were kind of shaped like an H, you know? It's what everyone came through there. Or maybe an H with the two sides connected too. And it's like, all right, there's three paths to get from one side to the other.

I played so much domination, the objective was always to hold two-thirds of the map. That's a good way to describe an H. Yeah, with the two sides. And so there's like three paths, and then you just kind of lock down two-thirds of the map, and you know they're funneling in. And, you know, you have to push back almost as a team with some sort of coordination, and that's how it worked.

Then when you went to the newer CODs, and I haven't played the newest of them, it was just a big scribble cloud mess. Clusterfuck, everybody's coming from everywhere. And it was always so fast-paced. They want you to be sprinting around like a madman the whole time. And that's not the kind of game we started with. In Call of Duty 4, you cannot run around. But I love seeing the people who don't know that yet.

So on a map like... Oh, yeah. Crossfire. Crossfire. Crossfire. On Crossfire, they'll try to run right up the middle of the street. And, of course, that street... On one end of the street are a bunch of snipers in a building. On the other end of the street, more snipers in a building.

And along either side are the machine gunners who are trying to flank each other. And you chose to get in the middle. Like, it's just... It never goes well for them. Yeah, like, that's something that you... You're're totally right and i'm excited for christmas to come around for even more christmas gifts of kills of people who try and play this call of duty like it's the new one because like i even saw people um like people get roasted for camping in cod 4 sometimes like oh

you're just saying to you still you're camping it's like no this is this isn't the new call isn't black ops 3 you know this isn't future warfare whatever like if you if i if i turn around on this corner i will die like i'm waiting here because this is the tactical place to be like i'm not just holding this position like i'm keeping them from coming through this doorway like it's more like about geometry and positioning in this game than it is running and reaction time the thing i'm psyched about i usually take a building for remastered, so I haven't even played remastered yet, but I feel like I can walk into it, and I'll be rusty.

That's going to happen whether I start it on the first day or the 20th day, but I'll walk into it, I'll work the rust off, and then I'll know COD 4 like I always have. I feel like I could start at Christmas, and I'm still only four days behind of getting whatever skills I had. Getting back

to where I was. And it's not like I'm going to be 30 days behind like I will be in the primary game. I bought pine tar for my controller. I bought a stick of pine tar and I take my thumbs and fucking pine tar my thumbs

up so that they don't slip off of the joysticks. Thumb slippage is what you do. I get palm slippage on the handles. I get that too, but I can usually... If things get too intense, I do one of these and get the sweat off real quick and then go back

into the game. I don't have any gamer grip or anything like that. I've never in my life had an issue with sweaty hands in a controller. For whatever reason, God said, Woody, your palms are going to be perspiration-free. Your upper lip, eh, no promises. But your palms, you're set. Do you squeeze the controller really hard?

No. Sometimes I will panic squeeze or something. I find myself, like maybe I've been on a kill streak for a while and it's you know as as the kill streak goes up you get it gets more and more intense and uh maybe by the time i die i'll be like i'll have like the controller twisted and contorted and i'll be like oh god relax jesus christ all right go back to game like i'll i'll do it like i won't be paying attention but i've got this controller just just twisted and and like squeeze so fucking hard.

No, I'm pretty casual, but I will. I've panicked drop shot. You know where I'm like, ah! Drop shot's slower now. It is slower, but it's still a good thing to do. I think jump shotting is going to be better. Unless you're behind a wall. That's probably another thing I'll have to fix about myself.

But I've panicked drop shot while I was already kneeling behind a wall. And now I'm just shooting the barrel for no good reason and uh that's embarrassing you don't want that recorded but you uh the grenade throw distance is lessened from what i really yeah i didn't like draw a tape measure or anything but they're saying it's less and i guess it's true because i can't really throw them all the way across the map anymore i used to be good at the running jump grenade thing like i could get all the distance that you need to get out of one. I still do that. Does that still help?

Yeah, I still do that too. It's never going to stop. It's every time. Backlot especially. I start Backlot on... You were asking about what guns I use. I play it like it's game battles. I'm a super try-hard.

A lot of these maps, if there's a choke on vacant, my initial class on vacant if I spawn outside is an AK with a noob tube and sonic boob and extreme conditioning. Because I sprint to the dumpster, hop up on it, and shoot a noob tube down into that corridor instantly through that doorway and always get at least one kill, sometimes three. Same thing on bog, except I use juggernaut so I don't get sniped. I spawn in in that shitty

trap place not not where you got the big wall in the back but in that little building you spawn in there i take like four steps to the left and then i know exactly where to put the bottom of the noob tube uh aiming thing so that it'll hit the car in their spawn you know in bog you start there's a car right there in front of you and all the snipers like to take four steps and then try to shoot you off spawn so they're just standing there posing. And I can hit that car every fucking time and get triple car kills with that.

I hate Bog. That's my biggest complaint with this game so far. I know all the maps haven't been added so this could just be that I'm hating it more when I get Bog as compared to Crash or whatever but Jesus Christ, I feel like every i know all the maps haven't been added so this could just be that i'm hating it more when i get bog as compared to crash or whatever but jesus christ i feel like every other game is fucking bog and i it's the same thing it's a bunch of snipers and then it's a couple people that are aggravating with noob tubes and are you playing with friends no i just play

and what always ends up happening is that i just try and hold down the left side if you're starting on the side that has the car that you're blowing up you go left into that like tin fence area and you pretty much are entirely relegated at that point to holding down that door you can go up to the door and kind of hold off the corner of the building and then use the little cutouts in the the fence to shoot across the map but other than that like you do any more forward movement and you're dead like it don't like ballgames. I guard the fence if it's not guarded, but my main thing

I'm going to do on that map if I don't have bus side is to get a P90 with extreme conditioning and Juggernaut and three stuns and just repeatedly rush behind that bus and kill until we get them pushed back and spawn trap them. If you just keep running back there with Jug P90, eventually

the snipers just get mowed down. I feel like the solution, if you're ready for it, is to have friends. If you have a coordinated group, you take bus side, and then you just rape. It's hard to do by yourself. If we all played together, I would...

My win-loss would be way better, because my win-loss ratio in Call of Duty is always awful, because I leave at the drop of a hat. Like, oh, that that grenade didn't even like sometimes I'll catch myself like I'll be like nine and five, like not that bad. But then like I'll just get like one awful death where I do that thing where you have like a seizure where you run in and you just go shoot everywhere but the guy. And like you're halfway through the P90 clip, but you're already in your head like I'm not going to get him. And so you just keep missing. And then and then you die and i rage quit and it's like well that game that game was going pretty well god damn it like i had a uav you can use it like that's the part of my game i think i've been trying to improve the most is not panicking in in

weird situations and juking more you know like like left to right juking to to throw off their aim with my submachine gun like getting that that move back down because that's super effective especially gets like the m16 which is it's gonna instantly kill you it kills you so fucking fast in this game that you got to be moving and wiggling and juggernaut is I like juggernaut a lot I've used juggernaut much much more than I did in the original game. Just to stay alive, because you die so fast. Yeah. In the old days, Juggernaut...

You could hop on there and play with us, Woody. Yeah, I would have to get it, but I think you might... Yeah, you'd have to purchase the game. I like going in and checking, because you can see on the leaderboards or whatever in your friends list of who's been playing a lot and who's got the points and the scores, and like... Is Chis crushing it no chis has played for less time than me and

kyle at this point okay but i'll go in and check right and i'll be yeah out of the gate he played way more than us but like at one point like my score was like above kyle's and i was like all right like i got a pretty sizable lead on him now in this fictitious contest of of whoever has less of a life at this point in time. And then I'll hop back on the next morning and be like, well, god damn, it was a busy night in the Myers home because he really gave it his all.

Kyle, are you also participating in the fictitious contest? I didn't know we could compare scores, to be honest. I'm just playing a lot. I'll look into that. I've looked at the global leaderboards, and it'll show, are you in the 1%? Are you in the top 5%? And I was more interested in that, especially to see the people who are really no-lifing it. The people who are 9th prestige already, stuff like that.

Right out of the gate, they're already hitting the top-tier prestiges. I didn't even know the second prestige. Are people doing the race this year? Who won the race? Ah, let me tell you about the gate. They're already hitting the top tier prestiges. I didn't even know the second prestige. Are people doing the race this year? Who won the race? Ah, let me tell you about the race. Tucker bitched out Activision on his Twitter because they didn't want to support the race this year because everybody wanted to do it

on Modern Warfare Remastered, not Infinite War. So they were like, well, fuck it then. We just won't do it. So they just didn't do it? As far as i understand although i'm certainly not plugged in to to those circles but last i heard i read a whole thing where like they didn't want to support uh the race for those guys doing it on the new you know remastered game um they they only wanted to support infinite warfare so they just didn't do it

i'm in the top 900 people or I was last night in Kill Confirmed I don't play very much Kill Confirmed I only play it out of 99% of the games I've been doing Ground War the entire time and obviously Ground War you get TDM Domination or Kill Confirmed and it seems like you get

if someone out there is listening and you work for this company just turn the percentage of Kill Confirmed down it's too much too much Kill Confirmed in Ground War it's getting ridiculous if someone out there is listening and you work for this company just turn the percentage of kill confirmed out it's too much, too much kill confirmed in Ground War it's getting ridiculous do you play Ground War at all? you know the version of search where you can bring people back to life

yes, that's in the game it's not an actual game mode though it was at one point right? I have definitely played that but I don't remember in what context. Anyway, I don't want to say I invented that game, but I suggested it in a commentary.

And it was somewhat informed by a Reddit comment that had a variant of it. And when it came out, there was a whole lot of like, this was Woody's idea. Woody told Activision to do this, and variant of it. And when it came out, there was a whole lot of like, this was Woody's idea. Woody told Activision to do this and they did it. It wasn't entirely my idea. It was inspired by a Reddit thing and twisted just a tiny bit or something. They've messed up Search and Destroy a bit.

At least, because Search and Destroy was always the fastest way for a good player to rank up. You're getting 500 points per kill because they added a bit. Search and Destroy was always the fastest way for a good player to rank up. You're getting 500 points per kill because they added a zero. I didn't like they added a zero either. I liked when it was 10 points for TDM and 50 points for Search and Destroy. Is it still added a zero for the remastered? Yeah.

So you get 500 points a kill. It used to be 1,000 points to plant, 1,000 points to defuse, and the big, big thing was you got a match bonus based on what you've done per round at the end of every round. And, you know, search can go five, six, seven rounds. You also used to get a win and a loss for every round. So we'd go on crazy win streaks if we could 4-0 people like 20 times in a row, you know?

If we got a real hard team together, we'd get an 80 win streak in one night. But now they don't give you the bonus, the match bonus, at the end of each round of Search and Destroy, and now you don't get as much points for plants and defuses. I think it's 500 each. So it's just really... I rank up faster in TDM than anything. Domination will probably go in faster,

but I don't care for Dom that much. I've always thought that the quickest way to rank up depended on where you were in the level, right? So the match bonus at the end of it is somewhat dependent on your level like you could really kick ass and get i'm making up numbers like 300 match bonus if you're level one but if you're level like 54 it might be a 3000 match bonus so something like how much you kill is worth a lot more early on whereas how well you did in the holt game is worth more towards the end of your prestige. Headquarters, where you got five points,

it's probably 50 now, for every, what was it, five seconds that you held the headquarters? Yeah, I think they took that away maybe too. Oh, shucks. Well, then that changes things a lot, but headquarters, I thought, in the lower part of your prestige

was the best way to rank up because it would just be like a kill every five seconds. What was that? If you have a team and you're trying to rank up quick, there's nothing better than headquarters. If you're playing against a bunch of randos and you have five people who aren't idiots, you'll win every single game.

You have to get like 70 kills in a domination match and five or six captures to just kind of do a regular sweep in headquarters as far as points go if i remember because i always played headquarters in the original cod for to rank up yeah i didn't like headquarters that much but i used to play it early on because just for the xp yeah because it would get me to the point where i could make my classes in a hurry maybe just one game and i'd be level four or 5. And that would be nice. Let me give everyone a quick word about movement watches.

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and it would still be a better deal than having just one of those department store watches. Get a blue one, a white one, maybe sandstone is your thing. Whatever your style, Movement has watches and bands to match for every outfit in your arsenal. There's no hassles. Just order online with free shipping, free returns, and a 24-month warranty. So, join their more than 1 million social media followers and get a Movement watch today. million social media followers and get a movement watch today go to mvmtwatches.com slash pka today and they'll give you 15 off your entire purchase that's mvmtwatches.com slash pka cool yeah i've just recently started getting into watches and i i like the movement watches

they're like a size a weight and a style that look good to me like i think i'm going to throw one on for thanksgiving and try to upgrade my social status by a notch you know yeah just because like it's really the weight for me where you you don't expect things that are a reasonable price to have that feel of like you know i could i could really give somebody a clobbering with this thing if i needed like but that it has that feeling and i don't know maybe you know how beats i'm certainly not saying this about about the movement watches because they're watches but the uh the beats headphones do you know how they get that heavy expensive feel they just like sand they they put weights in them yeah they literally have weights in them yeah

people you will never see me wearing a pair of Beats by Dre. I feel like anyone who wears them is just... Maybe I... That's a stupid person. You're paying way too much for an... How much are they? $300, right? Yeah, you're paying a lot.

I have a different opinion. I see someone who has Beats and I think, all right, there's a chance that they just don't know their headphones. Or there's a chance that they like a really bass-heavy headphones. No one else makes headphones that I know of who focuses on the bass that much. If you like your song to sound thumping, then Beats will do that for you. And if you want an accurate reproduction of what the studio track was like,

that's not what they do. But if you just want it thumping in your ears, that's what Beats are about. And knock yourself out if that's your cup of tea. It's not mine. It just seems like overpriced swag. It's like a pair of Air Jordans or something. You can't jump faster or run faster. You can't even walk as well because those are those things are too big for your feet you paid you got a discount on those didn't you that's a that's a 12 and 11 you weirdo

bullshit but i feel like it's that i feel like oh yeah i got a pair of beats whereas really you know some some kids over there with some sennheisers on like oh my god the clarity and they're all laughing at him because they got their beats on i said i have these 8kgs um they're like an accurate reproduction of the sound and they're nice and they're not too bassy or whatever i like these for for like what i consider work the ones i wear when i'm not doing this are these bows what are they a15s i forget but they they like the noise canceling ones yeah and if you listen to them, compared to this, they sound muddy. Like their music reproduction isn't great. But the magic trick of turning off the rest of the world,

any fan, like most people, including me, and I don't like any special snowflake, but you don't even realize that the HVAC in your house is making a noise. Like there's a hum from some heat pump outside that you're not even paying attention to. It's just the minimum noise level of your planet. Then you flip the switch on these noise-canceling headphones, and it's like, oh, I thought I was experiencing silence before.

This is a new level of silence. And that little magic trick of playing the music in silence is pretty amazing that's why i like the books i don't have a lot of experience with like different brands or anything but i've got those parrot zeke threes and i i really fucking love those yeah yeah i haven't um i don't know if i've tried yours but i certainly don't remember them yeah i'm a big fan like i you know they're bluetooth which is what's great. I listen to my audiobooks sometimes. I've been on the tractor before, listening to the audiobook. It cancels out the tractor and puts the audiobook in.

It's just perfect. There's plenty of products that do the same thing, but that's the one I got for free. So that's the one I got. Yeah, I've used both. I have two Bose noise-canceling headsets. One's earbuds and one's over the cup. And yeah, both of them just, like, yeah. Like, the tractor's noisy.

Like, I think people should wear hearing protection when they operate. Yeah, it's like a constant 150 decibels or something. It just goes. Yeah. If you're not in a cab. Mine's an open station, so I don't know if I'm not in a cab. And, yeah, sometimes I'll mow with the ear plugs in, which is a limited level of hearing protection.

And then like whatever, 30 minutes in, I'm like, wait, flip the switch. Ah, I should have been doing this all along. This is a magical existence in which like this crazy noise is 90% gone. I cannot wear earbuds. They hurt the inside of my ear to the point where it aches and is really painful.

Do you have little ear holes? Maybe. Some people have little ear holes. I don't know. Might be a little in there. I know the ones you get on an airplane. I've used them plenty of times because I want to watch the in-flight movie. I'll have to take them out and put my finger in there and rub

around. God, it's so sore and achy it hurts fucking hell um and it's hard to find i remember i bought some earbuds uh they were some amazon deal and they were like 400 earbuds or something outrageous but i think i paid 170 for them i lost them since then but those were great they came with lots of little like attachments for them so they would be the perfect size for my ear. I've had products with those attachments before, but these worked. I should really find those. They're gold. I know you have a Roku

or two. They come with earbuds. They're curiously small. You might like them. I think I've got tiny ear holes. I used this PS4 one. You'll be real good for your fucking... With my dick anyway yeah

yeah that i really don't get by today yeah right i was double coke can and now i'm a pen apparently yeah i uh yeah i have nothing to say on that nothing to contribute to the dick talk. Someone said, there's a couple questions here just for me. Woody, I know you've listed all the firearms you own in a previous video, but that was a few years ago. What does your collection look like lately? I haven't bought anything notable lately.

I tried to buy a little Sig Sauer that I could hand carry, a P238, but I had to update my concealed carry to get that first. What else is there? I don't know. My cooler guns. You get a .50 caliber sniper rifle. Yeah, that thing is cool. I have an AR-15 M4 variant. I have an FS2000. variant i have a um an fs 2000 is is it fs 2000 or fs it's an fsn 2000 okay um it's like f2000 i'd know the is that the one that that was really terrible in one of the call of duties but it's a pretty good one yeah isn't it yeah they call it the dolphin gun yep actually that thing was horrible it was it was in that call of duty in real life uh it's one of the guns that i'm most accurate with like if i'm shooting something small and it's one of the guns that i'm most accurate with like if i'm shooting something small and i miss it a time or two i'm like you know what i'm

just gonna get the f of the 2000 because i hit what i'd point at for some the uh kyle has two guns that i envy a lot um and it's fine kyle has a lot of wonderful guns but the two that i want are he has a fully auto ak which is just kind of a fun thing to goof with. And probably his least valuable gun, he has a 22 with no sights on it, single shot. And I don't know why, but like, and it doesn't have sights on it. Yet it's the only gun I have, maybe my 22, but mostly his, where I seem to be able to rise and shoot and hit the target with it in a hurry. And I'm like, the fuck is this? It feels natural.

It has auto-aim, like a console shooter. It just sucks onto target and hits. It'd be an exaggeration to say I could shoot skeet as well as that as I could with a shotgun because I can't. I'd be better with a shotgun. But I think I'd do way better with that than most of the other guns I own. That's what we took the sights off for was to shoot rocks out of the air. We'd throw rocks up and shoot them. But it's good for anything.

It's like you said. You just throw it up and it's there. That sight picture feels really instinctive, kind of like slingsingshot shooting so you don't need a whole lot of all right a little to the left two mils to the right there's none of that it's just like boom and it's you're you're not gonna hit a you know a bullseye but you're gonna be right there you're gonna hit something that big every time it's um i've grown to have an interest in guns that not everyone else has so and it doesn't mean that it has to be like an amazing gun like oh this is a military issue scorpion or whatever kyle's gun that single

shot thing was it your grandfather's great-grandfather's great-grand like there aren't any others like it like if i go to the gun store i'm like all right i want to pick up like 120 year old single shot 22 with no sights on it they're not going to be like, oh, yeah, there's a rack of them here. It's unique to him. So, yeah, those are two things that I'd like to own. But I don't shoot a ton, so I haven't spent much on guns. I think I found the gun. Did you?

Oh, it's one of a kind. Oh, two of a kind. Two of a kind. I think two of a kind. Two of a kind. I think it's a Winchester Model 67. About $175. Oh, I could never. I'm just kidding. I could do that.

Yeah, that's a little... That's my blood. I think this is it right here. This actually looked like a used one, but I haven't really read too much of what I've got in front of me. I need to think it through carefully, after Colin hurt his foot but I sometimes think about oh I do like this. I sometimes think that like what if I got Colin a cricket or something

like as a first gun but maybe that's just really bad parenting because. I like a long barrel for an inexperienced shooter or someone that you might be worried about because it's harder for them to turn it around you know it's a longer barrel a pistol obviously I can make a mistake like this you know I can make a mistake like that but with a long could you get like a

single shot 22 like those kinds that you break down and you pull the thing out and you put another one in a cricket is one like that I don't you break down you pull the thing out and you put another one in and a cricket is one like that i think it's oh okay yeah i don't know if it breaks in the middle like that but it's definitely a single shot 22 that couldn't be too bad then right like he's gonna he's gonna be with you every time he's shooting it and you'll have control of the gun like it's not like you're both gonna be at the range in different booths like when he's shooting you're not gonna be shooting next to him're going to be helping him shoot. That's fine. I think he probably likes it.

I don't know. I'm not sure I'll ever in my lifetime get over the guilt of him putting an axe in his foot. It actually sinks in super heavy with me. Well, that sucks. Shit happens.

It's not even anything specific with Colin or any of his stuff. I hurt myself in just as terrible ways when I was a kid. It's part of learning and growing up, I guess. You can't watch kids all the time. I'm trying to think. I cut myself right here on my finger when I was a kid. There's still an ugly scar. I just cut it to the bone with a pocket knife, sharpening it the wrong way.

My dad had just told me how to sharpen it. He's like, now do it this way, not that way, or you'll cut yourself. And I was like, yeah, okay. And I did it like eight times until the knife is good enough to, literally good enough to shave with. And then I cut myself to the bone.

I learned. That is actually a pretty parallel experience. My dog is having trouble. It's not as if I didn't teach him. It's not if I didn't talk to him. He was just doing it wrong. Can you hear him? I'm about to take a big old shit, boss.

Let me see if he needs to be let out. I'll be right back. Let me on the outside. Got the dumper load. You better get the shovel, boss. Put that pooper scooper away. You're going to have to dig a pit for what I'm about to dump. Going to have to burn it. Going to have to burn it.

Going to have to burn my shit. It's so terrible. Going to have to burn it. It's so rancid. Horrible. But buzzers will come otherwise. Dog shit's not that bad. That dog's enormous.

That dog takes shits bigger than us. What are you talking about? Oh, well, that dog is a different thing. I just mean as far as pets go, cat shit is the nastier one because they eat way, way more protein. That's why dogs eat cat shit because there's still good eats in there. My ex-girlfriend had a friend with a cat. And if it ever gets back to you, blonde girl who had that legal trouble that time, you know who you are. First of all, lose a little weight.

You're very pretty. You should just lose it. And second of all, your cat smelled your apartment up so goddamn bad that we all talked about it. We all like you as a person. You're smart. You're funny. You're interesting and intellectual. But your cat shits in your house on a daily basis, and it smells terrible. Also, that cat's violent. That cat's violent. You should get rid of that cat. What was the cat's name? I don't remember the cat's name, but he was a big fat orange cat that would

attack you and sort of a real deal kind of way biting and scratching out of nowhere like he would bite the blood out of you with the big fangs out of nowhere and the apartment always smelled like a litter box you know just cat piss and shit always always always to the point where like they try to get out cats like they don't like even if you're the best cat owner ever and you're always on top of it and you're changing the litter and they and the cat's well behaved like there's just no way to really get the cat smell so stern's explained how he does it he has like the litter boxes in a room where it's sucking the air right away from oh we'll just live in a giant new york estate oh you know yeah you have a bunch of people who do

work for you he's got like a hundred million dollar apartment or some shit like he's got his hundred he talked about one time that the ordeal of getting his 100 and 100 inch like plasma tv up into that skyscraper well they had to send it up and like lay in an elevator or something some sort of like freight elevator it was so great yeah yeah yeah everything he does is like that like it's pretty funny to hear him try to get he tries tries to get the personal touch in his home that you would easily be able to get if you're Woody. You're like, yeah, I had a contractor come in, and he just rigged it up.

But he lives in this, whatever, $100 million high-rise apartment where doing that stuff is just really hard. He's 6'5", or 6'6", or something, 6'5", and so he talked about getting a showerhead that wouldn't just shoot him in the chest. You know, it was a whole ordeal getting him to fucking put it where it needs to go. Kyle isn't very interested in that gun.

He ran outside enthusiastically, so I guess that's the case. And then the other one did too. I don't know. Yeah, I like .22s. I like that gun in particular. I think you should get a suppressed.22. You'd love it so much. In my room right now,

I've got my AR-15.22 rifle, the one I took on the survival thing. We've got my suppressor, my sparrow put on it. And not that I would ever do such a thing, but the crows like to land in my backyard and hang out out there. And if I wanted to,

I could probably just open my window and shoot five or six up before they could do anything you know it's a lot of fun do the crows cause trouble or is it just target shooting hypothetically hypothetically they're they would just be target shooting oh just wondering i hypothetically how many crows could you take down in like an hour? I've killed a lot of crows before. I mean, we used to go crow hunting where you get up before daylight and you've got the collars all charged up with

extra batteries and we've been loading our special load of shotgun shells for two weeks perfecting it and we got our shotguns cleaned and polished and we each bring backup shotguns with tool kits to fix them if need be and then we go. We're camouflaged up with face paint and netting like take the crow crow hunting very seriously when we go and what do you do with

them dozens we leave them let them just they're fucking dead you know we don't eat other animals with them yeah the problem with the crows is they destroy um like pecans mostly they go in these pecan orchards and and just they eat them up they eat all the pecans so the pecan orchard guys will uh happily allow you to come in and kill them for them kyle usually friend to the pecan orchards and just they eat them up. They eat all the pecans. So the pecan orchard guys will happily allow you to come in and kill them for them. Kyle is a friend to the pecan farmer. Yes, I am a friend to the pecan farmer. That could be, if you ever run for office, that's something you have to include.

Friend to pecan. All nuts, seeds, and legumes are friendly with Kyle. They've paid us before. They gave us a big pail of pecans one time. We were leaving, and we didn't expect to be compensated. We were there for the fun of killing all these crows.

And this lady didn't want the dead crows left in her field, which is understandable, I suppose. And so we had thrown them all into a tarp, and we had this tarp we were dragging out with us, and we killed like, I don't know, 60 or 70 crows that day. Wow.

And she was like, oh, you got them all you got them all boys here here and she like gave us this huge pail of pecans i thought that was great yeah i like i like crow hunting a lot that's but i'm starting to it's one of those things where like the older i get and the more i learn about animals now i feel sorry for the crows because they're so intelligent that they can talk like parrots and stuff and do those little tricks that we talked about earlier now i think crows because they're so intelligent that they can talk like parrots and stuff and do those little tricks that we talked about earlier. Now I think crows are too smart to kill and I can't enjoy my favorite thing anymore. The only thing I feel comfortable killing anymore is those wild pigs. I really feel sorry for just about everything else.

What about deer? Is it the people in your life you think that influenced you or is it just... No, no. No, definitely not the people in your life you think that influenced you or no no no no definitely not people in my life it's totally like my thing of just like man i that deer is just too easy to kill i just think of him as like such a soft thing just it's a big fucking teddy bear out there like he's got no way they're a nuisance you know if it's a nuisance that's a different thing you know in new jersey i know that they you've got not only do you have the lyme disease caused by the deer ticks but cars

are constantly hitting them because they encroach on those urban areas and that people die you know people are dying a lot from deer impacts and not to mention the cost on infrastructure and insurance companies and all that stuff that trickles down but my thing is like well fuck i've killed like dozens of these things and i know what's going to happen and it's really just a family of little critters out there trying to live. And my dad always says he's just trying to make a living, you know, which is code for why are you going to fuck with him? He's just doing his own thing out there, just eating berries and living in the forest. And so we both kind of came to that conclusion at some point that, man,

we've really been massacring these things for years, huh? I kind of feel bad for them. Don't you? Like, yeah, a little bit. You know, they don't ever shoot back or anything. They would if they could. Sure. If you gave a little bird gun, it'd kill you on sight.

Probably so. They shit on me all the time. I don't know. I feel sorry for the deer. I don't shoot them anymore. I think I need to shoot something or fight against something. That's what it needs to be. It needs to be more of a fight where he can come back at me, and he's willing to. I don't want to go out and kill a cape buffalo.

I saw these videos the other day of these guys killing buffalo with spears. These fucking chubby, white, rich cocksuckers walk up behind this Asian cape buffalo with a throwing spear and stick him. But the thing, in this instance the buffalo like did its horn perfectly and deflected the spear then he gets up and that's awesome well unfortunately this guy also had his revolver with him so when the thing like comes down on him and he's about to kill him the guy's just like panic shooting he's just like go go go go go and just drops the fucking cape buffalo and i'm just like well fuck that thing was literally taking a nap on a hot summer's day in the woods and you like walked up so clearly he's not a secret agent you couldn't sneak up on me like that

and you'd like miss with your spear and then you just gunned him down at point blank range with like a 500 or something it just seems shitty to me and it wouldn't interest me at all i wouldn't get any enjoyment from that i don't even i mean i don't know like i'm sure there's lots of cape buffalo if they're letting people spear them to death it was an asian buffalo i don't know asian water buffalo something like even then like if if you're gonna like if it's a lion and you're paying to just go kill a lion for the fuck of it like that i think that's really douchey like you're not going to eat that lion you're not going to make any use of it but as long as you're using it i don't think it matters i think with that buffalo that's just like uh that's just an african cow yeah i think it's

douchey for the hunter i think the guy who pays the money is a douche um although after talking to my friend who owns that that big expensive wild game preserve where people pay to come do it he really explained and laid out the case for how it's really a conservationist sort of act that he's doing. He's like, look, you see that head, that herd of red deer? They outlawed those in certain parts of the world. What it was, was they had them. He did have some red deer or something there, and then there was some legislation that came down that said, nope, you can't keep those and let people pay to kill them anymore. So that meant, and the problem was that a large percentage of that species

was now kept in captivity. There were more kept in captivity in Texas than there were back in Africa. So they put down this legislation. They're like, oh, it's terrible. People are killing this endangered animal here in Texas. No longer can people pay to kill them. So what did all the guys who have been keeping them in their

wildlife safari places in Texas do? They killed them all. They just exterminated everyone that they had because why pay the upkeep on an animal that you can no longer charge to let people hunt anymore? So by coming down this legislation that, hey, no more will you hunt antelope

in Texas. Alright, well all the guys in Texas might as well more will you hunt antelope in Texas. All right, well, all the guys in Texas might as well just kill all their antelope at their ranches because nobody can come pay to shoot them anymore. So now the population is absolutely decimated. Well, decimated is when you reduce it to 10% of its original value. So it's not that, but now it's 20% left over. I never thought about that,

but decimated would be like death. It's been ventimated. Yeah, right? Is that 20% of the would be like it's been ventilated yeah right is that 20 of the original it's been half an eighted quarterized he's been uh quarterized you know when you get you get hurt and you have to quarterize the wound that's what i've been explained to me you. Someone said, Woody, you mentioned you used to drink when you were younger. When or why did you make the transition to

despising alcohol? I feel like despising alcohol is not a fair characterization. To me, someone who despises alcohol would be more judgmental and not okay with you drinking your alcohol. It's not me. You can knock yourself out. I just don't really like being

drunk. I certainly don't like being sick afterwards and I don't like the calories and the costs just don't outweigh the benefits. But the transition was really around. I got athletic. When I was drinking and stuff, I was stupid and young and like 15, I'm sneaking out of the house, climbing out the window, scaling down the porches and shit like that. But by the time I was like 17, that's when I started swimming and I stopped drinking even soda, let alone beer. I think I'm going to do some drinking tonight. A little fucked up. What are you doing?

Just cooking and drinking? Yeah, I get my turkey and my ham all brined up and injected and wrapped in pineapple and such. And then I think I'm going to – I got some margaritas in there, and I'm going to drink them all and play some Call of Duty. What kind of margaritas? Oh, we should play some – I probably won't be – I'll get drunk too, sure. Yeah, we'll play Call of Duty tonight. We should do that. But what kind of margaritas do you have?

They're watermelon margaritas, and I haven't tried them yet i'm gonna try and if they're not good i'm gonna purchase something like the watermelon rita yep yeah i didn't want to admit to what it was but yes that's exactly what it is it is a bud light rita um it's in a it's in a very small can like a almost like a red bull can and uh like a 12 pack was like four dollars or something so i walked out of that rite aid uh happily yeah they're they're i don't like them very much because they're so sweet that for well you're you seem to have a very good sugar tolerance oh man i gotta power them down they're too sweet oh really like i get a stomachache if i have a couple of those things it's like for me it feels the same as if i drank like a couple of uh barks root beers like really

fast where you're just like oh. I got a stomachache last time now that you mentioned it. Now maybe I won't drink those things. Like I had almost forgotten about that. Last time I drank them I drank about four of them in an hour I guess and. Don't do it. Start with those. Have a couple of them and then move to something else once

you're like numbed to the taste of it. Yeah. The first one definitely makes the second one taste a whole lot better but I just remember feeling syrupy on the inside and sticky on the inside. Like I just had way too much sugar and alcohol. And I didn't eat anything on purpose because I didn't want to have to drink more. I was like, I was going to get fucked up here. If I starve myself, it only take two of these disgusting things to really get a buzz. But if I eat a big meal, God, I got to have a six pack or more to really get a buzz. But if I eat a big meal, god, I gotta have a six pack or more to really get going here.

It's exactly the kind of drink that Woody would actually like. I don't think so. It's shit. I don't like it. They're really, really sweet. It's too sweet. Really sweet. And Woody likes that. I think he would. Right. Well, you should find something pleasant to drink tonight. We can play some COD.

Yeah, I'm definitely gonna play some COD and get drunk. That's happening no matter what. I was gonna say something oh oh uh i was gonna brag on hope for a second so what do you got hope has been accepted into three colleges so far so three schools have written back to her and so far she's three for three they've all accepted her um she continues to do super well in her speech and date debate competition she's getting like first and a couple of seconds and like everything she's trophies are just racking up she has the school record for like ruby points or something like that she owned the school record going into her senior year and now she's just distancing herself from the from the pack how do you earn

a ruby pretty much you place in an event like i think the top six like you know like six places may get a few Ruby points and first place gets a lot. And no one has ever accumulated as many Ruby points as her at her school. And she's just distancing herself there. That's great. And she got the lead in the school play. Ah, what's the play?

It's like Urine Town or something. Caligula. It's a – Dude, I could... There's a story there. I don't know if she'd like me talking about it. But for a couple of plays in a row, all the parts she played were too flirty. And then some of the kids in her school

were giving her a hard time about that. So we're happy that not only does she have the lead in the play, it's not a flirty role. And we're like, yes! That problem is better. It's called Urinetown. It's a comedy. A musical comedy of some sort. About pee? Yeah, it's actually... I'm like, please tell me

it's Y-O-U-R, like you're in town. No. No. Is it really Urinetown you're in town like as in urine i i think it is welcome to the kidney cabana come on down kidney cabana yeah um i'm john p reilly yeah it's one word you're in town a musical by greg tp johnson codis um i don't know so uh said that she's got the lead in that. And I don't know.

She's just been on kind of a hot streak lately. Good for her. Yeah. Has she gotten into the school she wants to yet? No. Well, there isn't like a one that she wants to above all. We're kind of like, we'll see which ones say yes and get back. UNC Chapel Hill is one of her top schools.

GMU is one of her top schools. Some of the schools, it depends on what financial package they'll offer her. I think one offered like 28 grand a year or something like that, like a lot. Winner! Yeah, that seems like a front runner. That one's a small school. You know, honey, their agriculture program is incredible. You could raise some small sheep or donkeys with them. You're going to be a real star over there. So, yeah, she's definitely going to have, like, you know, some really cool choices to make there.

Like, it looks like the school seemed to like her back. And, you know, we'll see where that lands. I don't know. She's a good kid. Things are going good for her. Yeah, it's awesome. awesome it's good i'm glad to hear and she's gonna live off campus on campus i don't even know how it works um so from home or is that up in the air she she wants to live she wants to live at school and uh a common thing for schools to do is the kids live on campus for the first two or three years and then move off campus. The way they did it at Mizzou was

everybody their freshman years in a dorm on campus and then sophomore year almost no sophomores are in the dorm. The dorms pretty much was all freshmen and the sophomores moved too. They had quite a few like off-site like complexes that were pretty nice and then other ones that were just like houses on the campus around there where like you'd live with a few people and then and then they had houses where i lived where you could get like your own place like an apartment in a house and yeah dorms were not big after freshman year but who knows maybe that's the way it is this is one of the things i asked about a lot when we visited schools. At UNC Charlotte, for example, the kids lived on campus mostly the first two years,

and then they got their own apartments, I guess for freedom and price, their junior and senior year. At Chapel Hill, everyone lives on campus their first two years. It might even be a rule. And then juniors and seniors tend to stay on campus a lot, like something like two-thirds of them would stick around. i think chapel hill in particular has a pretty rich student life like things to do you just want to be there or you're left out yeah it's more fun to be on campus because it's like oh there's something happening uh you know they're doing a fucking parade downtown columbia or whatever they're doing you know in the middle of campus at the pillars or the quad you can can just get out and walk there. Like it's not some big thing of having to find

a ride because a lot of people don't have cars in college, which is annoying. So if you have a car, hope's bringing her car, be sure to tell her, don't tell anyone that you have a car unless you're already friends with them because you're going to accumulate a lot of new fake Walmart friends the second they find out that you have a car where it's like, Oh, Hey, help. You know, we haven't talked in three weeks, but I'm pretty low on toilet paper, and I don't have anybody else to take advantage of, so will you drive me to Walmart? But, yeah, I think she should be on campus.

She'll have fun with that. Yeah, she'll definitely be on campus the first year too. Some of the schools allowed cars and some didn't for freshmen, so I don't know if that weighs into her decision. Yeah, I remember I teased her about her driving a month ago or something, but that's kind of over. Her round-trip commute is like an hour and a half to go to school and back. She gets a lot of driving in.

She makes that five days a week plus whatever she does on the weekends. She's racking up experience more than most kids in her peer group. You should go out and mess with her a little bit. I guess it's not fun never mind i'm like all right you get a ghillie suit you wait by a path you wait by a path that she's gonna like you know go through you know maybe a safe area not too much congestion or other people and you know you just you just throw a dummy of a small child into her path paintball gun you know right no no you throw a small child or an animal in front of her and she she runs it over and she thinks she's killed it and then you're

like ah i got you you know you come out of the bushes you'll make a great parent kyle i don't see how this could possibly go wrong or wearing a ghillie suit like you come out of the woods and stop her with your clipboard and you just go knock on the window and be like hey just wanted to let you know you took that corner a little quick and and Daddy's always watching. And then you just go back into the woods. You're never away. Not while Daddy can fly to anywhere he wants. He's in a ghillie suit, just hiding in the woods with his scoring clipboard.

Don't forget the drone either. She's always going to be like, I'm always watching. That was the cool part in that Zero Dark Thirty movie, was they had the drone footage, and they were analyzing. I think it was satellites. They had this satellite footage, and they're trying to

determine who's who from space. He's like, well, if you look at these cows here, those two kids are about the same height. That makes them seven to nine. They're definitely boys. See how they're playing with the sticks? We got three females, though. You can tell she's doing the laundry. Men wouldn't touch the laundry. But only two

males. And they're like, well, what does that mean? Well, you would never have three males and two females. There's another man who lives upstairs. There has to be. And that's how they got bin Laden. That movie was good. Yeah, that movie was good. I liked it. It's two hours and 42 minutes long.

So I actually watched it in two sittings. I have my own version where Barack Obama personally was reviewing the intelligence on a daily basis until he found Osama and then did everything but pulled the trigger. Yeah. Joe, why don't you reread this for me? I think I may have stumbled on something. I'm just teasing. These people don't take that to heart.

You guys are reasonable, but there are unreasonable people watching this who are like fuck woody um there used to be this thing it was like um fun it was a funny or die thing i think and they've since purged it from the internet because it was mocking of president obama a little bit and they had uh flock of flame playing barack obama who i don't know if you're familiar with this rapper he's barack of flock of flame uh his barack of flock of flame one hood ass nigga he's just like he looks just like barack obama i'm gonna link you to it but um it was him giving like a fake 60 minutes interview and at one point um they're like well what about osama bin laden he's like oh we bodied that nigga. Got him in the trunk outside. And the interviewer's like, what?

You have Osama bin Laden's dead body in the trunk of the presidential limousine. You bet. It's just like that the whole time. Dude, there's an Onion article where they talk about what the response to 9-11 will be. Every now and then I reread it just out of inspiration. 9-11 will be every now and then i reread it just out of inspiration it's just like filled with pure like hatred and revenge and and then i i think it's written from the point of like god and the devil the devil's gonna take like his like barbed penis and like acidic seed and rape them in the ass for eight it is the worst possible outcome for

9-11 hijackers that you could imagine, and it's damn near inspiring to me. I wonder if I can find it in a hurry. How long has the onion been around? I don't know. Eight years or something? Well, it'd have to be longer than that if it was 9-11.

Oh, I found it immediately. Do you guys... Can I read this? Yeah, can you link it? Yeah. Let me see how long this is. A little longish. We'll see how it reads.

You should let the music play in the background. The hijackers who carried out the September 11th attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon expressed confusion and surprise to find themselves in the lowest plane of Na'ar, Islam's hell. I was promised I would spend eternity in paradise, being fed honeyed cakes by 67 virgins in a tree-lined garden. If only I would fly the airplane into one of the Twin Towers, said Mohammed Atta, one

of the hijackers in American Airlines Flight 11, between attempts to vomit up wasps, hornets, and live coals infesting his stomach. But instead, I'm fed the boiling feces of traitors by malicious laughing ifrit? I don't know. Is this my reward for destroying the enemies of my faith? The rest of Ada's words turned into raw-throated shrieks as a tusk of asp-tongue demon burst his eyeballs and drank the fluid that ran down his face. According to Hell's sources, the 19 eternally damned terrorists have been struggling to understand why they've been subjected to soul-witheral, infernal torture

ever since their September 11th arrival. There was a tumultuous conflagration of burning steel and fuel at our gates, and from it stepped forth these hijackers, and blessed name of the Lord Oh, I need to close something. Which has issues forth from the haunches of Osamade, which is strange when you consider the evil with which they ended the lives of theirs and so many others. I was told that these Americans were enemies of the one true religion.

But now I'm forced to suckle from the sixteen poison-leathered teats of Gamfloppet, whore of betrayal, until I burst from an unwholesome engorgement of curdled bile this must be some sort of terrorist terrible mistake anyway it goes on like this again and again it might actually be the painful thing that we it might actually be the most painful thing we can do to show these murderers the untold pleasures that would have had them awaited in paradise

but if only we had lived their pious lives i mean it's tough enough being forced through a wire These are all Persian demons and stuff like that. These are Arabic-specific hell creatures. Hell creatures. Like an Asmodee is the king of demons mostly known from the Deuterocanical book of something or another from Persia. Yeah, they're all like Arab demons. It's almost wrapped up. It's entertaining to me. Apparently they do all this while they, let's see, do all that, but to endure it while watching the

righteous drink from a river of wine. That can't be fun. Eventually, we'll settle on an eternal and unending task for them. But for now, everyone down here wants to crack at them. The legions of fang-wombed hangs will take their pleasure on the shattered carcasses for most of the afternoon. Tomorrow, their flesh will be melted from their bones like wax in the burning embrace of the mother of cowards. The day after that, they'll be sodomized by the fallen and their bowels will be shredded by a demon ejaculate of burning sand.

Then on Sunday, Satan gets them all day. I can't even imagine what he's got cooked up for them. And it ends there. It's just, I don't know. Right after 9-11, they wrote this and I'm like,

yeah, this sounds. Yeah, that's only two weeks after 9-11. It was. That's the 26th, right? Yeah, December 26, 2001 that was written. Oh, December.

Oh, I'm sorry. It's September. I said it wrong. Yeah, so yeah, two weeks after that, this came out, and it was kind of music to my ears. I'm not a really faithful guy but to think that they're in some sort of hell dealing with demon ejaculate of burning sand it was just what I needed at the time it's just and

the opposite was just what they need to fly those buildings and those planes of those buildings I know that shit's true they're fucking dead gone they didn't feel any more pain than most of us will have more painful deaths and those guys had they just just were gone. Yeah, probably. Well, that's an uplifting way to wrap up the show. To put a period on the end of the show. Yes, they died a painless death.

Just remember, you're not special or important. There's no reason for you to be or not be, and it's all for nothing. Life doesn't matter, and we're all inconsequential. Completely and 100%. Just an accident. Have a good week. Yes yes and i'm thankful for not yeah happy thanksgiving thanksgiving there is no god good night oh god and that's it