Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #320

Episode Date: February 10, 2017

This week on PKA, no guest but we get another bible story from Taylor, orangutan prostitue.... and Milo Yiannopolous at U.C. Berkeley 

live painkiller already episode 320 100 more for the 420 what should we do for 420 no idea we should get you so high that's like two years down the road so you know midterms will have it'll be legal in north carolina who knows but anyway few sponsors tonight we have uh 1-800 flowers uh they have put a lovely arrangement back there behind Woody. We'll talk about that later. A new one called Creature Quest. You'll hear about that. Nature Box and Squarespace. Links down in the description if you're curious right now and you can't wait. But we're going to talk about them in a bit.

So let's get right into this. I wanted to talk about the orangutan sex slavery, which is apparently a thing. Just for the record, while this is Kyle's topic and idea, I also want to talk about orangutan sex slavery

because it sounds great. Yeah, man. So I linked you guys to this Vice article. It's confirmed. This is a real thing that happened. There's plenty of substantiating articles and stuff, but there's some images here. It says, meet Pony. She is an orangutan from a small village in Borneo

where they I think that's where the first survivor was right where they cut down the for the rainforest to to render the palm oil they got born for being the world corner of primate sex slavery yeah basically go on, this orangutan was saved from a prostitute village in Borneo. It says we. I don't know who that is. Oh, Michelle Disseletz, the director of the Borneo Orangutan

Survival Foundation. She found this orangutan chained to a wall, lying on a mattress, and completely shaved, apparently. If you're going to have an orangutan prostitute, you want to do it as best you can. I'm not an expert in orangutan body language, but that to me is a come hither look right there. That orangutan was not a sex slave.

She was a slut. Interesting you bring that up. I've changed. she was a slut. Interesting you bring that up. If a man Michelle says that if a man walked near her, she would turn herself around, present herself

and start gyrating and going through the motions. That's one of the qualities I look for in a woman. Do you think that an orangutan gyrating is like nice and sensual like Beyonce, like a slow rhythmic move or do you think it's a frantic just i get a grape after you rape me yo come on god just like who okay the fact that

one part of this article says uh did the clients realize they were in fact getting an orangutan yes that section doesn't need to be written. Of course they do, because otherwise you'd walk in and be like, I paid for prostitution and there's a monkey chained to a bed in there. There's been a grave misunderstanding. Hey, hey, hey, wait a minute. That's a great ape, you asshole. Did I, I don't think so, but you only have sex with this? Made you good money for a human vagina.

Is this how AIDS started? This is disgusting. Like this poor little orangutan. Oh, all judgmental. It is. First of all, how do you first figure out that like Dippin' Dots. How did Dippin' Dots figure

out, hey, if we put ice cream in little balls and then put those balls in a cup, people spend an extra $2 on it. You know, it's like an incredible, like, how the fuck did they figure that out? This is almost as impressive as Dippin' Dots. Like, how did they know it would be okay fucking an orangutan unless first they said, here's my card. This says orangutan concierge or escort service.

What does that mean? Oh, come by and I will show you. We've got a wonderful... Her name's Pony. It's an ape, though. We're not animals here. Hey, great ape. Don't let me cut her short.

It's as close as you can get to fucking... You know what? We were a good two and a half minutes into this story before I realized that the clientele was human. I really thought there were orangutans coming along. Fucking this other orangutan. Our guest tonight, Wings of Redemption. There he is.

So, because if it was orangutans, they couldn't pay for it. And so this is how it's like. Like, you know, bananas, like, big bunches, and some guy's really like, he's like, I got a lot of bananas here. Like, count them up i read that somewhere much and then you think because this paragraph says that people thought

that pony the uh the ape was lucky and they would have her pick their lottery numbers no they fucking didn't that is a lie that's what they told this Vice reporter because she didn't want to admit that, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, there was only that one guy a week coming in. He was the only one fucking her. All the other ones were there for lottery tickets. star performer. She earned more money than their humans. They got plenty of whores in this piece. This is the sort of place you walk in and they parade out a bunch of girls with their clothes barely on and you pick one. And then they'd be like, oh, but for five kruka

extra, you get pony. And she's like, you hear her getting fucked back there and it just sounds like a shit show, like stuff getting broken and crashed. And you're like, yeah, I got five extra kruka. Let's make this happen. It would be like a real sort of, it seemed like a lot of people wanted to do it like she was their their star including her like yeah i really get you a man walks by she starts twerking that's yeah she's not happy with the situation but she's totally down to fuck let's just be

clear about that that's just the way it is It says here it took them over one year to rescue her after she was discovered because every time they went in with forest police and local officers, they would be overpowered by the villagers who simply would not give her up. They love that monkey pussy. They would threaten us with guns

and knives with poison on them. In the end, it took 35 policemen armed with AKs and other weaponry going in there and demanding that they hand over that monkey. It was filmed by a local television crew. It's like a modern day Cleopatra.

I know. Like Helen of Troy. She's in there and the most beautiful orangutan in all the land. I think it's funny. Not funny. funny in a macabre kind of way, knowing that in the article it says that she was kept by a madame, and I read that as madman, which makes a lot more sense. She was kept there by a madame,

and you know that every morning she'd have to go in there and shave that orangutan. Every other day. Okay, every other day you go in. You don't want to cause the skin to chafe. That's unpleasant to look at, obviously. You're going to fuck an orangutan if you want a nice, smooth skin, pleasant, minimal orange hair, and hopefully chained to the

bed so it doesn't rip your ears off. What do you think the orangutan liked? Do you think she was down for spanking? Could you put your finger in her mouth? No, no. These are foolish things to do while fucking orangutan. You just named the two warnings. You know you get on a roller coaster and there's two warnings.

Keep your hands and feet in. No loose objects. Those are the only two rules. The only two rules of orangutan fucking are no hitting and no fingers in the mouth What if we walk in there like an orangutan like so so hear me out on this right if I walk in there like this I Knew that's what was coming, right? How will the rear a tag react to that? Will she be a double DTF? Because it's chained to the bed looking the other way.

And I sincerely doubt that they gave that little monkey a vanity mirror because it was being like sign languaging to the madame, her keeper, being like, if I'm going to get fucked, at least let me see who's fucking me. You see her in the picture there, right? She's clearly looking. That's a DTF monkey right there. Yeah, that's a DTF monkey. It sounds like she was kept in inhumane conditions,

but I don't know what it's like living in the jungle either. I would wager they don't ask you if you want to get fucked out there either. Isn't rape a big part of monkey culture? They're built for it. They are built for it. You see those big red asses? They They're built for it. They are built for it. They literally are built for it. The guys just walk up to them, start fucking them, and then walk away.

Female great apes built for rape. At least half of the orangutan community commits rape once a year. Because that's just how they... We've talked about this on pn like they just they rape their way i'm wondering where these stats come from i'm like was that a right wing

or a left wing website that you read i was just eating male half oh it sounds like the male half it sounds like the monkey is going to get raped a lot more now that she is out of human clutches it sounds like if you introduce her back to the monkeys, they're going to be standing outside her cage watching her get raped by monkeys. See, this is how it's supposed to be. It shouldn't be a tiny Filipino man's penis. It should be that huge

monkey cock she's taking right there. See, she loves it. Actually, people's dicks are bigger. Ah, they are bigger. I've heard that. Interesting. That's an evolutionary thing. We evolved a big penis. It's the largest in the primate kingdom gorillas are very small because they don't need to have a big gorillas have teeny tiny little penises uh it's like an insult in some like i don't know some fucking countries where they have gorillas well they'll be like you're hung like a gorilla and people who don't know will be like i guess that's good and

it's like oh not really idiot that guy's seen a lot of gorilla dicks. So you're the fool here. Much like me and human dick. Look in your mouth. Like an acorn glued to the bottom of their torso looking dick. And then they have big balls. I think bigger balls than us, but smaller balls than chimps. Because chimps have enormous testicles.

And small because they need all that testosterone because they're all just competitive like and they're competitive isn't like i'm gonna beat you out on the field today you bitch it's gonna be like if we get in a fight i'm gonna try and rip your hands off your testicles that's what they do they go for the testicles in the fight because they figure if they rip those off we don't need to fight anymore that was the whole point of the fight like i didn't want you to fuck my girl if i take your balls like fights over yeah you've got like what 15 minutes to fuck her before no more of that sperm's coming back before you bleed to death we mentioned sports and fighting and it made me think today how much i like a sport is almost directly proportional to how much of it is fighting.

Right? Like, top of the heap, UFC. That's my favorite sport. Like, that's the thing I watch. And it's just fighting, right? Boxing, kickboxing, stuff like that. I enjoy that, too. UFC is the best.

You'd think football would do well, but not really because they don't fight in football. They don't take their helmets off. Next best, hockey. Right? They have actual fights in hockey. And they often take their helmets off. Next best? Hockey. Right? They have actual fights in hockey, and they often take their helmets off and other shit too, you know, depending on the era.

Or they have to let the other guy take his helmet off, to be polite, because that's you're careful, but you can't take it. I actually kind of like basketball more than football, and if you rank it on where the fighting is, I think basketball might beat football in how they fight. Yeah, but they can't make contact.

Those arms are too long. They don't – Whenever I see – I would think that would help them. Whenever I see these basketball players throwing, it just looks like big whips with knots on the ends. It looks like they're one of those things that they keep outside of car dealerships. Like they're big, wide hips but not a lot of damage.

It's weird when you're that tall and your arms are that long. Like, somehow they're very coordinated, but it's easy to look uncoordinated. They look weird when they dance, too. You know, if you're threatening seven foot and you've got seven foot long arms, then you just don't dance like Bieber or whoever's good at dancing. I don't know. It's Just weird. But there are some people in the NBA like LeBron.

He's not like 7'2 or something freakish, but he's still tall. But he has like normal – not normal. He's very in great shape, but he looks like not gangly. He looks like a normal, muscular dude. He's one of the stronger guys. That's one of his strong suits, I think, is that he's so powerful for his height. A lot of those guys look like you stretched them out, especially if you look at Yao Ming

when he first came in. He looked really stretched out. Then he put on a lot of muscle, but LeBron is so thick. Most basketball players, they stretched them out. With LeBron, they used some sort of enlarging ray gun. It's proportional. Do you know what the new bowl is? Oh, sure. Very good. Ron, they used some sort of enlarging ray gun. It can't be proportional. Yeah.

Do you know what the new bowl is? Oh, sure. Yeah, very good. It played defense and very dark. Very dark. Oh, so you actually do know who it is. Okay. Oh, yeah, sure.

I think he played for the Sixers for a while. He may have. I know very little about basketball. But I'm trying to find a clip of this guy. Basically, he is so gangly that every bit of watching him is like, I'm a little bit panicked. Like, is he going to break? Is his next step going to be the last where that leg does break?

Because you look at his arms and you're like, that amount of muscle on that tiny, skinny little arm can't possibly be enough to control arms that long like just oh my god he doesn't look real he doesn't look real he looks like a real slenderman you know what he looks like he looks like on south park where they got stan that black uh transitional um surgery to turn him into a black person and they like his legs were all stretched out and. And they were just far too skinny for his little body. And then they just, his ankles exploded. Or his knees, his knees finally exploded. Are you seeing that picture with the short guy?

Are you guys seeing the same Manute Bull picture? Yeah. So that short guy, if you were looking at the same one with the bullets and the three basketballs, that's, oh, what's his name? I want to say Spuds McKenzie, but that's the dog. It's Muggsy Bowes. That's what it is. Muggsy Bowes won the slam dunk competition that year.

He was the first guy under six foot to have ever won a slam dunk competition, I think. And they used to always juxtapose those two against each other. They played at the same time. That's cool. I like seeing that in different leagues where they have those little pictures

like this is the biggest guy in the NFL and this is the smallest guy in the NFL because it's like almost getting to watch and be like these guys are both in the same league that guy had probably an 80% easier time getting here and it was still hard as fuck for that guy

I can't imagine how many times that guy had to be like not just better but better by an order of magnitude than everyone around them for tryouts to be like okay we're going with the guy who's 5'8 because he's just a monster like you try and tackle him you know you can prove it but yeah yeah i like there's a good one i like it when they do different sports too like like hey here's an american swimmer and here's an american gymnast yeah and one of them is like six three and the other's five three and yeah some some girl would like but like she's like five feet tall but her thighs are this goddamn big around like like yeah i like to see

those juxtaposed uh here's the oh my god Here's the tallest guy in the history of the NHL and the shortest guy in the history of the NHL next to each other. It's like neither one of them should be there. The tall guy, Zdeno Chara, he's getting old now, but he was one of the best defensemen for a long time. He's like 6'10", jacked, and he's got a face that is so clearly from Czechoslovakia, one of those places. And then the little guy, Gerby, I think he's like 5'5", or something, like really small.

He's not in the NHL anymore. He's playing, I think, in the KHL because he wasn't good enough to keep up for more than a few years. He's a sportsman. Char is a superstar. people don't know him he's had a long career and he's been one of the better defense league for a long time um but sometimes you get a guy like uh didn't tampa the lightning have a guy is lack hat was la cleve a year i can't say his name right now le cavier was he was he the small one or was it one of his teammates? It was Martin St. Louis. Oh, okay. Yeah. So they played together. And the other guy was like, he was a fire hydrant sort of powerhouse guy. But yeah, in hockey, I think there'll always be a spot

for some guy with muscles and agility who can dance around and just play below your waist. with muscles and agility who can dance around and just play below your waist yeah that's why so many some people think crosby's the best skater in the nhl because he's got the biggest butt in sports there you go he's you don't know that like joke of like how big cross like if you find like pictures of crosby like all-star events it's like he's clearly a a guy who's in incredible shape because he's a professional athlete, but his pants, all these NHL players wear baggy, bad-fitting pants a lot of the time because their asses are gigantic

and fill up pants in a way that's unseemly. If you were dancing as a backup dancer, that's a good ass for that. We just wear big pants because that's distracting. I used to yeah i played with a guy in the nhl and um god i'm so gay anyway i was watching him lace up his skates or something and you could see his thighs maybe he was getting undressed i don't know but um he's

working on his skates and he's got his leg extended like this so his quads get all flexed and everything oh my god like like an anatomy drawing or something every fucking muscle like there's muscles around the kneecap and stuff that i had never noticed i've got pretty strong legs nothing like this guy and when i played with him also so when i played hockey look i was not a special hockey player but um my best attribute was my speed this guy was faster he was a defenseman he was faster going backwards than i was not a special hockey player but um my best attribute was my speed this guy was faster he's a defenseman he was faster going backwards than i was going forwards it was just ridiculous he was so like nhl players are their feet their skating sounds different like this kind of like it's i don't know it's somehow both more efficient and pushing more ice

exactly right like if you go to like a free skate where everybody's just skating around in a circle, you'll hear just like little like people skating. If you like are playing with really good people, it sounds like someone's out there with like an axe like Tom Hanks made out of that figure skate on Castaway. And it's just out there going, ah! Just smacking everything. Every hit of their skate is just like big shavings of ice are coming up because they hit it so hard but they're yeah it's it's a great sport i encourage everyone to get into it yes yes uh it's a lot of fun the blues fired their coach their head coach i didn't think

it's gonna happen no it should be noted that that coach is very good. I'm not saying he was good this year, but career-wise, would you say he's going to get in the Hall of Fame? Oh, not even a question. He's fourth all-time in wins, only one win behind Al Arbor, who's third. So, yeah, he's Hall of Fame for sure, no doubt. And did he have some involvement on the Olympic teams? Am I crazy? Do I have that right too?

Yeah, he coached the Canadian Olympic team to a couple of golds, I think. He was one of the coaches there. Because for a while, he and Mike Babcock are, I think, the two best coaches from Canada. Or they were at the time of that. But he's a real good coach. But he coached the flyers for a while as well so i'm sure you like him i think he lost a cut there yeah he did uh made it to the finals and lost i'm saying yeah yeah that was right into st louis yeah yeah and uh you know

but sometimes that coach is in every sport like they're they're like effective and then that effectiveness wears off and it's time to get a new coach it's like he was trying to like still play a style of hockey that doesn't work as well anymore like obviously he's the professional so he knows way more than me but it just seems like seems like every other team pitch is moving in a speed and skill direction and we've spent way too long meandering about in the grit and uh you know indesescribable, you know, attributes of, you know, he may not put up a lot of points and God damn it, he can't catch a fucking pass. But he's the kind of guy you need out there to get the team grinding up and going. And it's like, those are just a bunch of words. It doesn't mean anything. It doesn't help. That just means that, hey, in reality,

our GM made a shit deal with Jory Letera, that little bastard soaking up five million a year. And so we can't afford somebody better. The Flyers were in that position for a long time too. When the whole league moved to speed, like post-lockout, the Flyers were like, yeah, let's get Chris Pronger in here. Gigantic, slow-moving, whatever. Excellent defenseman, though. Yeah, I love Pronger.

He was an excellent defenseman. he was not an excellent defenseman in Philly he was often hurt and it was the speed error he just became less effective and he was old at the end of his career as far as Hitchcock getting fired I'm happy about it now because I figured

the Blues were going to be like alright we don't want to fire the third or fourth best most winningest coach of all time in the middle of a season of his last year. You couldn't let him get another win? And then they just fired him right in the middle of the season. And so I'm excited for that because basically what they did before this year is they said, all right, Hitch, you signed one more year contract, then you're retiring. And we're bringing in Mike Yeo from the former head coach of Minnesota. He's going to be your assistant coach, one of them,

and then after this year, he's going to be the head coach. And so at least now, they're going to get a half season of experience under this new guy in a season that's already going very badly, and so hopefully they'll have that experience for the beginning of next season. I just hope, like, it seems like... So you're throwing away this season. You're saying, yeah,

I'll fuck it up with a wild card spot there. I think the season ends today. They make the playoffs. And this is not a Stanley cup team. Like I, the blues have made the playoffs by percentage more than any other team in NHL history. We can afford to fucking miss the playoffs.

I just want to win the Stanley cup. And so whatever gets us closer to that, it's the direction I want to go. Even if it takes years to slowly build that direction. That's why I'm glad we didn't re-sign your captain, because if we re-signed David Backus, we'd be way better this year. But three years from now, we'd be like, God damn it, this dude's hands don't work

because he's been beat to shit for 15 years in the NHL, and we are paying him $7 million a year for the next four years. You should follow the 76ers, because they do exactly what you're hoping for. I'm not sure if you're familiar with the process, but they just fucked up like purposely for three years. They'd be like, hey, this player, he looks like he's doing pretty well. Let's trade him. Let's trade him for a pick because we don't even want to be good right now.

If we trade him for a pick, it'll have two benefits. We'll lose more now and we'll win more later. Usually lose more now is not something that teams are looking for, but the Sixers were. And people have different opinions on how well it worked. You know, they're saying, because the Sixers are kind of turning it around right now. And some guys are like, hey, you know, like, look, it worked, it worked.

And other guys are like, ah, the players that are turning around are not fuckheads. They came after him. They were just... Anyway. So it sounds like you want to initiate the process and have the Blues suck for a bit. Not... I mean, we're

too good to be... Because if you're going to tank and get a good draft pick, you have to be bottom five teams in the league. And the Blues aren't bad enough. No fucking way they would trade him. Send him to the Flyers. You guys can't afford him. Or maybe you could, but they're not going to trade Tarasenko.

Philly has a nice young team. You put Tarasenko on there, we got a thing going on. You guys are just not even good at losing. Not even good enough that's been the problem for years is that the blues were like you know we can win you know we can have a winning record a little bit and then not and they make the playoffs and then lose and then not get a good draft pick and so they're not they're in like a building phase not a total rebuild and tank because they can't like trading teresango would be the stupidest thing ever because they we this is what second year of his eight-year contract with us and he's

right in his prime so we wouldn't do that we just need to get a couple more pieces and but who fucking knows our goaltending is so bad you can't even analyze shit this year like our goaltending is historically bad like it's a month ago i was like you should try out get better because it is unsustainably bad i was telling all my friends talking about the blues like that's so bad that it has to get better these are professional nhl goalies they will get it better because they it just will by the by math mathematically we can't stay this bad at goaltending through the entire season and we have continued we have gone worse we it used to be like man philly and st louis are really sucking now even philly fans are like oh look at the goaltending

over there and meanwhile they've got one of those like learn to shoot things just taped up which might actually be doing a little better than our when i first started playing ice hockey um so we're all bad right we're playing in learn to play, like, people who suck league or something. And rather than a goalie, they just took a bench and leaned it over in front of the net. And fucker was unstoppable. Because no one could, like, lift the puck. At least goalies would suck, too. And it'd, like, go through their skates.

Or, you know, they'd watch it dribble through but you know you really had to pick off a corner or something to get past a bench and and in that league it's shooting that nobody realizes until they try and shoot a hockey puck on ice it's like you watch it and you watch a guy take a slap shot it's so hard and in no time that puck's four feet in the air you know sailing right top shelf in the goal you go out there with a hockey stick if you haven't shot a puck before i'll give you an hour and a half to get that puck off the ice using the stick and i'll come back confident that you have not like i will know that you have not scored on that this tall bench on the net because you'll be like all right this time if i just if i chop at it at this angle it has to go right i'll just no fuck is it stuck

to the ice no yeah it's way harder to shoot well than you think to change the topic wow fair enough um our our old friend milo was supposed to do a speaking engagement at uh at berkeley uh yesterday i believe or the day before and there. And there's a few rabble-rousers, it seems. Now, a few important things to know is that there was that big group of law enforcement that the university just kind of kept in a building and didn't allow to intervene with the violence. But there were Molotov cocktails through them. Not the university. Because the university is like...

Go ahead. I think the mayor was the one who said who told the actual police not to go in right because he would have to be that one right i i was hearing that it was like berkeley like security that they had just like kept somewhere and never act like got out there to do anything yeah yeah they were throwing molotov cocktails which by the way in case you don't know if anyone out there thinks the molotov cocktail is a fun thing to do that's a destructive device and you know you you could get you go to it thinks a Molotov cocktail is a fun thing to do. That's a destructive device. And you could get... It's a federal crime.

It's a big deal. They put that Molotov, a glass bottle with some flammable liquid and a cloth stuck in. You might as well build a pipe bomb. You might as well build a... Things not to do on YouTube without the proper license. There you go. You can't. You can't do it. And people...

They have caught people throwing Molotovs at things like this before and been like, ah, we're going to fuck your life over now and just hit them with that federal sentencing. But anyway, they overturned stuff, burnt stuff, started fires, threw rocks and fireworks at police, and they canceled the event. And then Donald Trump tweets about it. The next day he goes, hey, Berkeley, if you're not open to free speech, maybe we ought to pull that federal funding. And it's a lot of federal funding. I had no idea if it's a lot or not. It was like $400 million or something like that. And like, let me see. Is that right?

It was a ton of money. It may have been 450-something. That does make sense. If it's a public university getting federal dollars, you can't just tell someone, hey, you can't speak here and share your ideas. Like, that's not... Like, it's free speech.

It's a public university, right? $370 million, so... What?! Yeah. And I don't know the time period yet i'm still looking it over like for all i know it's 370 million since the 60s like i i think it was more likely 370 million four years ago and now it's like 400 and something million because i saw a pie chart today i i have a pie chart in front of me and it's it's a year it's that the 370 million is the 2015-16 school year, if I'm reading this right.

I've only scanned it. That's crazy. I thought tuition would be a really big part of it. Oh, this is their total awards. So tuition's not even on this circle. For all I know, tuition would dwarf the other elements on this. I'm not sure. It's a lot of money.

I don't think them losing $400 million of federal funding would be a sneeze. Although I'm not sure that Trump can do that, and I think that's what a lot of people are discussing right now. Wait, can he? But I think what we should learn about Trump is that he'll find a way. You saw what he did with what Giuliani talked about. He's like, hey, Trump came to me and said, hey, how do we do this the right way, the legal way,

up to the edge of the law and no farther? And that's how Trump does business. So if he can get a group of government experts together, sometimes, maybe in civil court. I don't think he's in any criminal has. He gets this group of experts together. He says, hey, how do we actually make it happen? I don't care if I got to call this guy in the energy department and he's gotta tell the guy below

him to do a thing the muslim band's an example if you i hate that they call it that because there's so many muslims that aren't they got it from him i mean he called it a muslim band well he initially said he wanted a muslim band like months and months ago during the campaign but he talked about grabbing pussies and stuff too okay so giuliani said this giuliani said i heard exactly trump came to me said how do we legally do a muslim ban and then he said i'm trying to get this as close to accurate as possible he's like so i changed it and came with a security focus and came back to him with this country ban from seven you know muslim countries with special provisions for people who aren't Muslim. It's a Muslim ban, right?

I'm glad they put the special provision in there for the non-Muslims because the situation that you had in places like Syria was those Yazidi Christians were being targeted, exterminated. They still are. Certainly there's infighting within the Muslim community but it's like, yeah, let's capture these Yazidi. Did you see that photo of the Yazidi Christian girl being auctioned off as a sex slave?

These people need help. So I got no problem with that. I like most of what Trump's doing right now. Arguments with Australian prime ministers aside and alleged corruption charges aside, sure, I want them to be hard on Russia. I actually haven't heard those. Well, not really corruption, but when I hear about the Treasury Department e-s sanctions against Russia,

I want to hear more about that because that seems like the sort of thing that's either going to be downplayed by Sean Spicer tomorrow or he's going to come out and say, another example of fake news. What you have here is, and he's going to like

spell it out we'll be like oh shit okay because it seems like you need at least a day or two to figure out if each day's news stories hold water nbc's anchor peter alexander tweeted this morning breaking u.s treasury department easing obama administration sanctions to allow companies to do transactions with russia'sB, successor organization to KGB. 50 minutes later, he tweeted, new source familiar with sanctions says it's a technical fix planned under Obama to avoid unintended consequences of cyber sanctions. So they did step that back pretty quickly after they said it.

But the harm's already done, and I feel like that happens so much that, look, there's plenty to be alarmed about. 2,288 retweets on what ended up being incorrect, the fake, and then 75 on the redaction, the request. That's how redactions always work.

With any kind of redaction, it's so annoying when they're like, oh, we want to be able to say that we told people that we fucked up, but not really. There should be a penalty. So we're just going to put a little tiny thing that says – There should be a penalty for that because there's definitely a reward for jumping out front and being like, aha, breaking news, everyone.

But there's no penalty, it seems, really, for being – You know what it should be? I think – go ahead. I want to hear your version. I got a little idea too. I think that like – you know how there's like these recurring news. When someone does a show, Seth Meyers has a thing and he's like,

now a closer look. Or like Bill O'Reilly might be like, here are, what does he call his talking points, right? There should be a segment of like Fox, ABC, NBC, et cetera, that is essentially let's talk shit about each other. NBC got this wrong. CNN got this wrong. Fox got this wrong. And just

blast them with how stupid everybody else is. And I swear if that was a thing, one, it would make me want to watch your show because everyone else looks so stupid. And two, it would make, if I was a news person, it would make me very careful not to be on somebody's stupid list.

You have too many commentators and not enough journalists at this point. There's too much opinion-driven news fucking swimming in your words. I can see it on CNN. There's this very pretty blonde woman on CNN. It's her and a man, and they seem to lead this show in the afternoons that I watch. And she's got so much personally at stake in this, it seems. She's like, but Senator, don't you understand that this and that? And she's like, really?

You can tell it's personal to her. She's not a journalist examining facts. I want the news to be more like courtroom proceedings, but instead it's more like reality television. Is it Kate Baldua? I wouldn't know her name. She's very pretty, blonde hair, about shoulder length. I think Woody's idea is good

for shutting that down. I think you should lose White House press credentials temporarily. You give each news organization three stars, and every month they get three more stars. You run out of stars, you don't get to come in the fucking room. If it's fake news, you look.

Oh, go on the marker board back behind Sean Spicer. That's a terrible idea. They've got that picture of the White House. You can't let the president choose the stars. You can't let the president decide who's... That's state-run media you're talking about. That's a bad, bad thing.

Even if you love it with Trump, you will hate it when someone else gets in. Dems are learning that every step of the way throughout these confirmation hearings and all this. Every time you expand fucking blue man's power, red man is just sitting in the wings waiting for his new superpowers that he can fucking reach out and touch different corners of the economy, different parts of the government in the country, and you're right. I don't think that Woody's approach would work just because – not like – if they implemented it, I think it would help. But it will never happen, I don't think, because it's like almost like a mutually assured destruction where it's like – at their corest core, the top people at CNN, Fox, fox msnbc wherever they know that they're intentionally doing misleading bullshit like they know and so and they do it because they have a vested interest in it like it's way more interesting to say you know oh all these sanctions are russia could do willy-nilly run around whatever do whatever they want than it is to say like oh this is actually

kind of something that was already in place and it's now just occurring i'm getting a little tired of john mccain and lindsey graham's bullshit just occurring. I'm getting a little tired of John McCain and Lindsey Graham's bullshit. Fox would be like, oh, look at all this CNN fake news, and then CNN would, oh, look at all this Fox fake news, and eventually they've ruined their entire industry's credibility even more. It's already their credibility's in the tank, and that would just further it, I think. Kyle mentioned McCain and Lindsey Graham.

I swear the amount that the Republican Party has fractured is really difficult to get a gauge on. Right? Like the day after the Muslim ban, which I think is what we're calling it, right? If it's Obamacare, it's Muslim ban, whatever. The day after the Muslim ban, it seemed like the Republicans were falling apart. Like, oh, he really stepped in at this time. And then he announces the Supreme Court justice and everyone's like all right new topic you know we're back together only lindsey graham and mccain seem to consistently be anti-trump everyone else is very much waiting

to see how this thing works out and and on the on the democratic side i do not know who is leading that party i couldn't tell either do they yeah There is no one at the wheel right now. Sometimes it seems like it's Chuck Schumer, right? And then that fucker gets up there by the mic and starts crying about the Muslim Bay. Oh my God, this is why Trump won. This is why Trump won. You fuck. There's nobody worse than a crying Democrat.

I'm so sick and tired. Grown ass man. Grown ass. Oh my God. How long is it going to take? than a crying Democrat. I'm so sick and tired of grown-ass man. How long is it going to take? I thought that as soon as the election ended, they all, like all of those pundits and all the big people in the Democratic Party would be like, alright, turns out you can't just

wildly accuse everyone who disagrees with you on anything of being a bigot, racist, homophobe, sexist, and assume that that will stick with everyone. Some of those fit though. Turns out that that alienates most average people who are like, yeah, I walk around every day. I know people.

I know that I'm not just going to walk into the store and somebody's going to be like, oh, god damn Jews! Oh! Like, it doesn't happen. Is it bigotry if you've got good cause though? Like I don't like Nazis. Am I a bigot because of that? Because I don't like them because they're Nazis.

It's just because of that. That's the only thing I don't like about them. Am I a bigot? No. Let's look up the word bigot. I'd like to make sure. I think I might be a bigot for disliking Nazis. Actually, I don't know, Kyle, because you really are prejudging people.

Intolerance toward those who hold different opinions from oneself. You're a bigot if you don't like Nazis, by definition. You're making a strong argument. So I got no problem with a little bigotry at the highest levels of government. There's good kinds of bigotry then, if you're a bigot against active pedophiles,

I guess. Why are we always picking on pedophiles? Why? We were talking earlier about Alex Jones' rantings. Did you see that I want to discredit him? I want to be like, shut up, Alex Jones! But then right in the middle of it, he's like,

oh, and here's a real-life news story that you can't say is a lie. They just caught 450 pedophiles in a ring in California, right? Pedophilia rings are, yeah, yeah. It was a huge number, yeah. Alex, it's 454, roughly. And what Alex is saying is, like, hey, this is all part of that thing.

Just so you know, there's this underbelly of powerful pedophiles, and it's a smart thing to do if you're running, like, a secret organization pulling strings of power because if anyone's discovered, if anyone rats out the group, then everyone is destroyed by this pedophilia thing and maybe just powerful people like fucking kids you know the number is grown i think that the democrats are going to have to move away from the whole calling people bigots without evidence and hating people no no i'm not saying that they will i'm saying that they are going to have to eventually because it's already shown that there's a vocal minority of people who really enjoy that.

But I don't even think most normal Democrats aren't like that. They don't like walking around calling people bigots without evidence because that's what shitty people do. The problem with the Democrats is they are so racist that they feel like each and every one of these tiny minority groups uh should owe their allegiance to them and and those groups feel like they owe their allegiance to to the democrats it's a true thing like you like like whether whether it's lgbt community whether whether you're you're black or you're muslim or you're you're an immigrant if you're a minority

of any kind it's just like oh yeah you're a democrat right oh you're not oh you're a minority of any kind, it's just like, oh, yeah, you're a Democrat, right? Oh, you're not? Oh, you're stupid then. Okay, I got it. You're an informant. You've been brainwashed. Yeah, you don't even understand what you want. You're so stupid. Yeah, they will pity. That's the greatest.

That's the real racism. And then Clarence Thomas is an Uncle Tom, you know, of course. Oh, of course. Any black man who, like, has this sort of pull-yourself-up-by-the-brute-straps kind of attitude, don't-you-try-to-pick-me-up up you white and white devil kind of attitude about about the way the world works that like hey we're all let me do my own thing i'm a grown-ass man i don't need you fucking reaching down and picking me up i'll climb up that ladder just like you did like anytime you hear that from a black guy's oh uncle tom dude that's like the whole like voter id thing baffles

me because i've looked into it i've tried to understand it as best as I can, and at the end of the day, all I can find is every other fucking country requires ID to vote. them saying in a way these people are too stupid to get their shit together and go get a license or if they don't have a license they won't be they won't go get their id so we have to mollycoddle and make sure it's all okay because they're just not capable of being held to that stand to that to that immensely high standard and it's like it's absurd and of course it just feeds into the the crazies on the right who want to talk about voter conspiracies and voter fraud when you've got this whole other party who's like, we don't want to use the same certification to vote as you would use to buy a pack of cigarettes, a bottle of beer, or a gun. Like, we don't want anything close to that. I don't understand it. I don't understand it because it's – let's all agree it's widely accepted as true that for some reason this disproportionately hurts poor people from voting, right?

Needing an ID. It's widely accepted as people propose that as truth. I don't think it is truth unless you think those communities are really that inept that they can't get their ID. Yeah. So it's widely proposed, if you want to put that out there, that this disproportionately impacts poor people but i don't get it because like let's not pretend that like whatever guys living in the projects in the inner city are some sort of like aboriginal tribe untouched by modern america right like kyle mentioned this is how you buy cigarettes this is how you buy liquor this is how you drive a car this is how

you prove your id in tons of different places. A hotel room. I went to the doctors today and they asked for my health insurance card, which I guess they should have. They have Obamacare. But health insurance and ID. Use your ID everywhere. When I applied for a Blockbuster card 15 years ago, they asked for my ID. I don't know why it's just generally accepted as true that people from lower incomes are, like, I don't know. Like, there are these, like, deep tropical rainforests untouched by modern society. And even if I just were $5,000 or something, it's still like, but I don't get it.

How does that hurt, like, the minority person there in the city more than the poor guy in the middle of the boonies somewhere who happens to be white or black, whatever? Let me read this. Here are the stats. Yeah, go ahead. Because of the light. Yeah, from state. But I mean, there are actual statistics, and they cite them. Because a lot of minorities don't have as much use for them, the most common voter ID is a driver's license, and minorities are less likely to drive. A 2007 study found that in California, New Mexico, and Washington, whites were more likely to have driver's license than non-whites. In Orange County, California, about 92% of the white voters had

driver's license, compared with only 84% of the Latino voters and only 81% of other voters. A 2005 study in Wisconsin similarly found that while about 80% of white residents had licenses, only half of African Americans and Hispanics had licenses. Minorities are less likely to have driver's licenses because they are more likely to be poor and to live in urban areas. If you can't afford a car or if you don't need one because you take the bus or subway, you're less likely to have a driver's license. It also says that the study found that an estimated 8% of Hispanic adults and 17% of African-American adults had no current license but had a recent suspension or provocation or revocation. That nicely addresses Taylor's thing, though.

If you're totally broke and you live in New York City, then you take the bus. If you're totally broken, you live in Kentucky, then your car probably sucks. Yeah, that makes sense from why they would do that or write it in that way. But that's also completely leaving off the fact that you could just get a state id like you could get just a state id that doesn't allow you to operate a motor vehicle you can go get one of those you know what and the the eight dollars twelve dollars fifteen dollars whatever it is just increase taxes a tiny bit and i'm fine with those being free like i'm fine with not free but i'm fine with people just being able to go in and get an id as long as you have the required

paperwork or whatever now you've added a a hoop to jump through that, you know. It's the same place. When you go to the DMV, you can apply for a license or you can be, I'm just getting an ID. And then you could use that ID because you don't need a car. But you see where I'm coming from, though. If you want to vote, then you, Taylor, have something that you are going to get anyway. If you want to vote, then you, Taylor, have something that you are going to get anyway. And me, poor person from the inner city, has to go out and get something special that I don't need for anything else.

Yes, you do. It would be nice to have ID. You'd need it to go anywhere where ID is required. You'd need it to buy cigarettes. You'd need it to buy liquor. You'd need it to rent a car. You'd need it to go on a trip. Actually, I don't have the answer for that. I don't know how you survive without an ID because I know I need mine often.

Do you know what happens when a cop asks you for your ID on the street and you don't have one? You look very fucking suspicious. You're like, oh, no, I don't carry identification, officer. It's like, oh, really? What are you, Al-Qaeda? Like, what the fuck? Yeah, because everybody carries it. Cops don't stop me and ask for ID.

I'm white, Kyle. It's a tremendously low bar. I think we can all agree that it's a ridiculously low bar but you i think we could all agree that it's a ridiculously low bar of i don't i can't get a license okay just go get a state id oh but i can't get there i can't afford the 15 to get it for all these things that it unlocks in life it's just like no this is this is a trumped up made up problem that wouldn't cause a bunch of issues if i think it just make it so that you can go in and get an ID. Make the payment

free. Make it so you can go in. If you have all the stuff you need, give it to them and they just give you the ID. Put that on our taxes. I don't give a fuck. The ID maybe doesn't need to be state issued. Then there'll be capitalists prepping your ID all over the place. Give me your social.

I'll print you out an ID. Every wall wall will be an ID thing i like it definitely not get so you could just go into a kiosk and just like down the number it works for the inspection on my car right there's there's like all sorts of people that do they don't care who's driving your car when it gets inspected what won't work is if vw goes in there tinkers with the electronics a little bit. They end up paying billions. A little caveat here at the end of this article. It says, of course, minority voters aren't the only group likely to be disenfranchised. Seniors, for example, are also less likely to drive. Academic studies suggest that voter laws do probably reduce turnout.

But among Democrats and Republicans, but not by more than 2%. There's statistics to back that up. Not by more than 2%. There's statistics to back that up. Not by more than 2%. It's a non-issue. It's another one of those non-issues that's there to clog up the works to keep anything real from happening. I have a way bigger issue with the Electoral College. I hate the fucking Electoral College so much.

It needs to be rebalanced. A popular vote is not perfect, but our current system is just flawed. There needs to be a rebalancing of the states. We're the United States of Rust Belt. Go ahead, ID thing. Wrap it. This year.

No. That's why Obama beat Romney. Romney was against the bailout, and he lost all those auto states, and Obama beat him. I think this ID thing really shows the negative way in which a lot of people will make an issue include race or something to try and turn it into, no, this isn't just an issue of you want to minimize voter fraud and that everybody should have an ID regardless of who you vote for. It's not just a basic thing like that. It's that you hate black people or you resent minorities

and you're trying to undercut their voice. And they introduce a total non-issue part of it so that they can frame it as a race, I am holier than thou, I'm righteous, you're bigoted, because they don't actually have an argument for why it shouldn't happen. If you were from North Carolina, you might have a different opinion because like the federal judge said about our legislators,

they carved out districts with surgical precision based on race, right? That's not me talking. That's the judge talking who looked at the facts and said... That also doesn't have to do with voter ID though. No, it's the same people is what I'm saying. So you might

view the people who carved out the gerrymandering with surgical precision based on race also saying we want to get ID in here. We want to shorten the hours that the polls are open. We want to have fewer polling stations. We want to do this. We want to reduce turnout as much as we can. And voter ID is one of the tools in their toolbox. Then you might view them with more suspicion than in missouri who's less corrupt than north carolina because everybody's less corrupt than north carolina

move over new orleans there's a new corrupt king in town but even that doesn't change the fact that the id thing doesn't have anything to do with race on a base level on a base level it is just like the reason i want it is just you should have an id to vote we need to know that you can legally do it doesn't matter who you are if i show up and i forgot my id i shouldn't be able to just go oh you know who i am i'm good they should be like no you have to go home and get it because we don't we don't That's literally what I did. Yeah, that's what you have to do. And when you pretend like, oh, you can't drive to the store. These people couldn't do these simple tasks. They don't have a car, so why would they need ID? They don't smoke or drink drinks

ever or go out to restaurants and order a glass of wine or do anything that everyone else in the country does. They just live in a quiet room all alone waiting for CNN to tell them what to do. And then they go out and vote and they say, I don't have an ID. I never even knew what... What is this ID you speak of? Like, where could I garner this? And they say it's a thousand miles away and $10,000 to purchase it.

And they say that's unreasonable. You know what's awesome, Taylor? When you put your hands out like this, just slightly, you reach into the empty box that the guest would have so you're like this is a thing that shouldn't even happen like you're like if i could reach out and touch kyle that's what taylor's doing here's here's i i'm just doing more research it says that the vast majority of adults do have some sort of id. Many people who do not have ID are not registered to vote or if they are registered they are unlikely to

turn out. The laws may be inconsistently enforced by thousands and thousands of poll workers at the precinct level and in many cases voters without proper ID can cast a provisional ballot which would eventually be counted in the event of a vote counting dispute. And also of course the campaigns have an opportunity to educate their voters about ID requirements as part of their turnout operation. How many times did you hear Hillary Clinton be like, oh, and go down to 59th Street. You want to talk to Barbara and you want to fill out a little paper. Like you never hear that. It's not a major. It's not a major thing. It's just a talking point is all it is. It's just a lie, I think.

It's just a female wage gap. Like just. It's just a lie, I think. Along with that female wage gap. Just couple that one right with a female wage gap. Just more liberal lies. I don't know that we finished the Milo topic. I was very frustrated with the liberals. Look, I'm the only guy here on Team Blue.

I think that's fair to say. But oh my god, I am definitely not on team social justice warrior crying about Milo coming to speak at a college. Throwing bombs, hitting people with pipes. And Milo said that the left is the side more inclined to be violent. And I resisted that notion for a while, right? Because they were violent at the trump rallies at first and even fucking trump is like take his coat you know like that's a trump

thing uh cold out trump said yeah and he's like he i think he encourages people to hit him at one point like i bet i could find that and um and then he backed it all off right by the time he's in north carolina he's like they're saying we're violent. Be nice, everybody, right? He sort of undid that. You keep watching over the course of a year and see who's violent. And it's like, it seems like the blue team is the one that's more inclined to burn a car, burn a city, wreck a college. Burn a Muslim business owner's limo. Is that a thing thing I missed that one

that limo that was owned by a Muslim I'm sure they wouldn't have burned it if they knew a minority owned it they probably thought they were burning a white guy's car see and that's what's hilarious is that they're the actual racists if they knew that a Muslim guy owned that they would have you know

I was reading something today about like the need for more diversity in some field and i was like my god i am so sick of apologizing for being white like i absolutely hate this isn't inherently good or bad like if the best people for the the job is a bunch of cambodian women and it just turns out that it's like oh we're starting this company and all these cambodian women end up being the best group then you should hire all cambodian women like if you if it's all black guys hire all the black guys if it's all white guys who are the best at it hire them like it it just in needlessly inserting diversity as some sort of end goal

instead of what it is which is just coincidental it should just the supreme court justice that uh trump nominated gorsuch gorsuch of course something close to that um he's a white male from harvard and there's a fair amount of press saying like oh another white male ivy leaguer like that's bad where's the I like the most accomplished kind of human being in existence, you say. That's the favorite thing that he's done. Can we ignore the white male thing, as you should, and say,

ugh, Harvard Law. Yeah, fuck off. There's nothing wrong with Harvard Law. There's everything right with Harvard Law. Did the guy have to struggle in high school to be a good Supreme Court justice? Or maybe the opposite is an indicator. Like Taylor was saying, I don't think diversity is an end goal. Just hire the best all the time.

That seems fair. I would be fine if an entire group of representative government was all Latino or all women or all black. If you then said, but look at their qualifications. This isn't racism. We didn't even take that into account. We even took the names off the applications. We looked at test scores alone.

These are the top 10 test scores. So the top 10 people are all black. I'd be like, oh yeah, you're absolutely right. Every one of those black men that you put in charge of that government agency is, I can't even show me a list. I bet there's no one on that list who's even any better and it is so i would be fine with it but but when you see it go the other way it's oh i hate it i hate i hate it's so silly when they make a huge deal out of like what the person is like where they're like oh this person you know white guy or another white lady

you know or if you're you know someone on the right they are they might like, oh, this person, you know, white guy, or another white lady, you know, or if you're someone on the right, they might say, like, oh, they just put another black guy up there just so they could say they had him or something. Like, it's annoying to watch. And also, like, I'm not black. I'm not a woman. But if I were and I got hired to, like, a really, like, if I had a good career and I got hired to a really high-paying, good job want to know that they hired me because i'm like i'm the shit i'm the one that they looked at my application they were like all right stop the presses this guy this is the guy that's coming in not like get the job and then be like yeah it did i did i really get it or did someone go we're due for a black guy you know like It just seems condescending.

Let me set up this a little quick. I haven't watched the video yet, but on Jake Shields, the UFC fighter's Twitter, he was there at Berkeley, and I'm going to read a little to set this up, but then he's got a little video here attached to that link. Who is it again? Jake Shields. UFC fighter. Yeah, rioters reportedly used firecrackers, smashed windows, and assaulted several attendees

with weapons. A Donald Trump supporter wearing a Make Bitcoin Great Again hat was pepper sprayed after giving an interview to a local news station. Trump supporters were also repeatedly beaten with bats and metal rods. Demonstrators were protesting what they considered to be hate speech by Yiannopoulos, who has stirred audiences with his controversial views of feminism, Islam, and freedom of speech. One of the attendees at UC Berkeley was none other than UFC veteran and former Strikeforce middleweight champion Jake Shields.

The former UFC title challenger, who holds wins over some of the best competitors in MMA, posted a video of a heated argument between him and a group of rioters. The multiple promotion MMA champion claimed to have helped a guy being, quote, jumped by thugs at the protest. He said, quote, in this video, he says, you guys have your faces covered, you're attacking people, you're being fucking fascists, Shields told a masked assailant in the video below.

That's, before we watch this, one more thing. There are a lot of people showing up at these protests that are wearing black masks and goggles to protect them from either being identified or from tear gas and stuff. We need to be looking into who those people fucking are and figuring out what the name of their little group is and then calling them terrorists. Not telling the cops to back down. Yeah, yeah, those people need to be like swept up all in one big group and and they need to face some harsh federal sentencing, some interrogation tactics perhaps. Let's watch this video, I'm curious as to how this goes. Or if there's anything to it. Three, two, one, play.

Yeah, that's true. I didn't touch that guy. Dude, you guys have your face covers attacking people? Your face fucking attacks them. Look at you guys. Look at you guys. Look at you guys. Look at you guys. Look at you guys.

Look at you guys. Look at you guys. Look at you guys. Look at you guys. Look at you guys. Look at you guys. Look at you guys. Look at you guys.

Look at you guys. Look at you guys. Look at you guys. Look at you guys. Look at you guys. Look at you guys. Look at you guys. Look at you guys. Look at you guys. Look at you guys. Look at you guys. There's a Nazi thing at the fucking university. There's a Nazi thing. What Nazi thing?

Who's a Nazi? The Jew guy that was speaking? The gay Jew? It's the people that come to see you. I don't know. That's you. If he's going to come in to a space... No, no, no.

I kind of wanted to hear them make their points. They call him a Nazi. No, no, no, no, no, no. I kind of wanted to hear them make their points. They call him a Nazi. Milo is Jewish. He's a gay Jew. Is he Jewish? His mother is Jewish. Which is what it takes to be Jewish. He has a Greek father. His maternal grandmother is Jewish,

which by halacha, which I suppose is some sort of Jewish law, maybe? Word. It makes his mother Jewish, and therefore he is Jewish. So by Jewish law, yes, he is Jewish. I thought he was like a practicing Christian. He is, but he's still Jewish.

He's really getting credit for both in this scenario, it feels like. Not everyone's aware, but you know that that you know jews are a race of people yeah both a religion and a race it's tricky yeah yeah so you know jared kushner donald trump's son-in-law is a practicing orthodox jew but he doesn't have any jewish blood he's not descended from uh the hebrews or anything like that whereas milo is this whole thing is like a perfect example of how if you can convince everyone that there are actual nazis out there and that there are actual fascists you know the guy that we elected is an actual fascist who's going to steal all your rights and take things

it makes all of this violence in these people's heads i think acceptable as like a form of self defense where it's like you know if he was just another guy that we lost to in the election we wouldn't be doing this but he's a nazi and so all of this is justified because we're on the right side of history if he's a nazi and what then what we're doing is de facto allowed and we're allowed they watch deeper vendetta one too many times or that that's that's what's going on here they're literally anarchists if you look closely even in that video you'll see the anarchist you know the a with the red a with the circle around and everything they're anarchists. If you look closely, even in that video, you'll see the anarchists, the red A with the circle around and everything. They're anarchists.

They're the kind of people who need to be locked up in federal prison and made to see that they live in a real... No? You don't think so? There's good and bad anarchists. There's anarchists who want to just burn everything and turn it into terror. That was them. These are the burners. But I guess I was thinking there are other anarchists who want to buy some land and have a farm and grow their own tomatoes. the burners that i think you okay but i guess i was thinking there are other anarchists who you

know want to buy some land and have a farm and grow their own tomatoes they're not they wouldn't think that you could buy the land if they were an anarchist they they would just take that land because it's theirs they wouldn't recognize any power that would sell it i hear where you're coming from but there is a variety of anarchists that would love to live like hobbits and and violence we're okay i just wanted to point that out that not all anarchists are like you know burn the police i don't believe that i'm not sure about that because whenever whenever i hear someone like a proud anarchist someone who has the flag like they're all about fuck the police and like tear it down man the whole system they're the guys who are watching um fight club and like at that last

scene when they see all the uh the financial institutions crumbling they're like yeah we'll live in leather clothes we made ourselves that'll last 50 years they're like quoting Brad Pitt I really don't think life would be better if all society collapsed I think that would be worse it would be crazy I think I don't think most anarchists most anarchists are just kids in high school or college for the most part who are into like the you know this is so out there like I'm truly a rebel like nobody

more to the whatever side than me but I think most people grow out of it pretty quickly when they're like man the world like watch one discovery channel special like see there's the world with no regulation whatsoever just animals eating each other's from the asshole out which is of the way that like cats eat animals a lot i watch a lot of as i've said countless times i've seen every animal eaten by every other animal on the internet and yeah the way that cats always start is they start on the asshole or they tend to start that way because it's like softer i guess

and you can get a good go there. And a lot of the time, they don't die right away. I mean, the cat will kill them a lot of the time right away, but if it's a pack of wild dogs, they'll just eat an Impala's asshole and organs out as it's up there just having a panic attack, just in shock. My asshole!

You see Impala eyes that are clearly in shock. I would shit, but they ate all my shit! You know when you look into really stupid animals' eyes and you just know that there's nothing home? If you look into a fish's eyes right after you catch it, you could hold a knife right up to it and go, I swear to fucking God, this is going to last forever. You're going to be my bitch.

I'm going to cut you bit by bit and let you grow back. And it's going to look at you with the same eyes that it would right before it would eat a minnow. It has no understanding of anything. It's welcoming death. But this impala, a little bit smarter, still an animal that you wouldn't see feeling in if you were just looking at it. You can see the size of those pupils and the shock as it's having. It's like, oh, my God. Like, I swear to God, last time I checked, I had a lower half and an asshole.

And now it's just a pool of shit and hyena spit. Nature is metal. That's one of the best places on Reddit. I don't care for it. I don't like nature is metal because I love animals. It's too rough on me sometimes. It's too rough on me too. Look, I understand that that's what animals get up to. That's their thing. It's brutal. There's no humanity to it.

Zero fucking compassion, especially when you're dealing with prey and predator. Now, within the same species, and sometimes interspecies, you'll see what almost seems like compassion and love and teamwork. But when they're eating an impala, they don't give a fuck. They don't see that as – it's like they're certainly not considering the Impala's rights or its beatings. Sometimes it seems like the victim is a baby. They don't care. We wouldn't have done this if you weren't an Impala, would we? It's never like tiger versus hippo, fair fight.

Let's see how this goes down. It's tiger versus baby hippo. And you're like, oh, that just just it's crying out for help its parents are total pussies not doing a goddamn thing about it and and that's the total indifference you see from the parents of the animals getting eaten sometimes is entertaining in a way where you'll see like all the buffalo or the water buffalo whatever it is you know around the watering hole and then you know the little one comes up and it's just a little thirsty it's been a long day he's tuckered

out so he leans up and he gets a couple licks in and then a croc just just bites its head and you know for a second its legs are spasming and everything and all the the pussy animals around it are just oh fuck backing up and he drags it a little bit into the water. A little bit into the water, enough that, like, the mom and dad could come into the water and be like, this is still shallow, and, like, try and hit it with its horns. And no, they just go like, oh, fuck, like, you ready? You want to bang again?

We gotta make another one, because this one, it's a, no more water for the next one, mark my words. But, yeah, it's interesting to watch, because it's like a total different level of parenting than humans like you'd never see if you were there with colin and colin got seized by like an eagle and was being flown away you wouldn't stand there chewing the cud being like jackie you hop in your paramotor and... Place that shit down.

I'm coming! Jackie, how many kids do you like having? Two? Okay. We are going to have to go upstairs. Actually, here's fine. Here's fine. Someone here... He's flown away but

no you get up there and try and help him but those animals they don't give a shit eagles took colin the eagles it's occurred to me like every so often i think about public sex right and it's like you know what i feel like i've evolved from an age where instead of catching a

couple like randy teenagers or like people in their early 20s we are just sick fucks who belong in a bedroom you know like it's a it's a different thing where it's now like this guy like has a beautiful home very close by what the hell is he doing in this jimmy john's parking lot hanging his the open you know backside of this 15-year-old Tacoma. It's 14 years old, you asshole. Don't you disparage my truck. That's funny.

Yeah, I feel the same way. If it's a really young person, you're like, yeah, that's kind of to be expected. You want to get out there and try something but if you'll find like a couple and but then there's also another time where if you come across like two 70 year olds you you kind of you got to be a little grossed out but also like well they made it this far and they took my hat to them you know they they they took off church today came out here lonely corner of this well they they right the chick-A parking lot, so they wanted to be seen. Well, you know, they thought the Target dressing room was more secure than it really is.

And it turns out that you can see the four feet in the booth. I love those pornos. I saw one the other day when there's like two lesbian chicks in a Walmart. And they're just like getting naked in the Walmart. And then they go in the dressing Walmart. They're just getting naked in the Walmart. Then they go in the dressing room. They just totally have sex. They just completely disrobe and they're just banging in the dressing room.

I like the public sex. Those are always good videos when the chicks are just in a Walmart or a Target getting naked and walking around and stuff. You know what's happened to me as I get older? The MILF porn looks just like regular porn to me. Yeah, yeah. And then the teen porn, which is 18, 19, starts seeming a little dirty. You're like, ah, she doesn't even know what she's doing. Yeah, and at 18, you just know full well she'd think I'm gross.

Oh, it depends what porn you watch. If you go to the old versus young category, they're into that. I don't think they are. I like that they phrase it that way. It's not like old slash young. It's old versus young. Is it? Versus young. Not even a...

Two-minuteer. Two-minuteer. Only one walks out. Old versus young. Yeah, it's always rough. It's a bunch of old men and pops. That entire teen section now of porn, none of them remember 9-11.

No, no. The thing is that none of them are teenagers either. Doesn't teen and porn mean like under 25? No, it means, well, no. I think it does. I don't, maybe that is a thing where they're like, just call it teen. Of course, we've all seen this porno where they're like just call it of course the human

we've always seen this porno where it's like a brother and sister fucking or or something like that it's implied incest and they're not even like talking about incest in the porno you're just supposed to believe it as you watch this brother sister meanwhile like one's mexican and one's somalian and you're like how can this be Could this be? How many parents do these people have? Obama's family made more sense. I'm sorry. Carry on, Kyle.

They wait until the girl's 18th birthday. She's got her ID and everything. They're like, yeah, she's one day into legality. Those are always fun, right? When you're like, oh yeah, she's absolutely 18. That girl's in high school. Sometimes they are in high school. It's great. Yeah. She's great. Yeah. Just iron on this one, buddy.

What else? It's crazy shit out there. I would never go to those sites. I feel like my computer, you know, people erase their history. They ruin their... This is a man's computer don't go on this unless you expect to see some man shit there they i've got no shame in my game the things that that this computer has seen would would would make my mom blush who's watching i

only click in cognito mode because i don't want my search results to be nothing but like fake vaginas and like jelly monsters getting raped in like 11 holes or something like that. Not me. You know that type ahead feature, right? If I type P and it says Pornhub, that saves me typing. That's exactly what I was

looking for. If you don't use incognito mode, your computer knows you so much better.'s just what i'm going for i've got a naughty america account that i actually paid for so i could get uh 4k porn and uh and vr porn because they they like produce vr porn it's not like some other porn that they like put in some editing software and made it so that it would feed through my vibe it's it's it was filmed with a specific intention directed with a specific intention of being virtual

reality form. And to get that premium content, you got to actually pay for it. There's no ridiculous, this video was uploaded to xvideos.com scrolling across. And you're like, I'm not even on that site. I think I paid like $100 a year or something. No joke. Or something. Yeah, it wasn't cheap.

I just gave him $100 a year or something. No joke. Yeah, it wasn't cheap. I just gave him $100. Because when I got my VR system and my 4K display, I was like, I need both of these things. And when you start looking on the open market out there, you might think, hey, porn is limitlessly free, right? Like, who buys porn anymore? The only reason I see to buy porn is if you want those two things I want, which are high-quality 4K porn and VR porn,

because the stuff that's out there for free just isn't nearly as good and most of it doesn't even work but VR porn is pretty cool I we were in our doing our google hangout last month this is the greatest yeah we got our $50 patrons if you want to if you want to hop on there's a link down below you get to hang out with us every month and we're talking to this guy and he's got his girlfriend by him and uh and he's like shoot he has a vibe he shows me his goggles everything and i got mine mine's actually back there in that chair and uh and he was like have you tried the vr porn and i was like yeah i'm not like a huge fan of it you know i i i tried it i wanted to see what the deal was but i prefer

regular porn and he's like she won't let me he had a burning curiosity about it he said she won't let me look at it can you believe it and i was like tell her that you know it's it's like you're watching a movie not like a star trek holodeck where you like you know a woman appears before you and you can make her do things or interact with her anyway it's like sitting back and watching a porno of someone sucking your dick though instead of like two people fucking it's it's that and uh and but still i don't think she was on board that was great though my favorite part of it was so so he's like you don't you think i should do this or that then he brings his girlfriend in right and there's a call with like i don't know nine people in it or something like that

all nine of us start trying to convince her to let this guy use his VR porn. All night, I'm like, yeah, it's not. I think she feels jealous or like it's a cheating vibe or like somehow VR porn is more cheating than traditional porn. And there is this meme, you guys have probably seen it, where, you know, Google Chrome shows your most visited websites. And this woman is like, you know, does it really show your most visited websites? And the total bro is like, nope, it's a known bug. Sometimes porn and gambling sites get in there for no reason whatsoever.

I love that. I felt like we were all total bro-ing this dude. Like, oh, you've got to let him. And the commenters below were like, yep, that shit happens. That happened to my grandma real embarrassing this woman just being sold a pack of lies about her husband's pornography and probably it was probably child porn or something it was john podesta's wife that's who that was oh and the other thing about the whole like pedophilia like conspiracy theory stuff that i don't like getting into conspiracy theories because you end up sounding like a fool nine times out of ten when you talk about it.

And I don't want that. I don't want you to think I'm a moron, that I'm easily convinced by every little bullshit story that sort of fits my own personal narrative or the things that I want to happen. I hear that, oh, I see a story that Donald Trump is a genius and he secretly made us all billionaires. I'm going to look at it. I'm going to take it well salted. see a story that Donald Trump is a genius and he secretly made us all billionaires I'm gonna look at it with I'm gonna take it well salted but John Podesta's best friend an actual friend of his who was the speaker of the house is a convicted pedophile and he's in prison right now is he really when when did that happen like a while ago or yeah that's a thing you know and like

do any of us have and hey I anybody can be related to or associated to a pedophile at one time or another without any without meaning anything about us but it's john podesta the guy who's already like supposedly at the heart of this pizza gate child pedophilia ring and it turns out his best friend another high-ranking government official one of the like top seven high-ranking government officials in the world in the u.s in the u.s i should say also a pedophile convicted of in prison now aside we don't have those pedophile rings form like there's so like some because we were just talking about the one of those 450 people or something that sounds enormous to me i don't know if that's like the biggest ever if that's like a normal size one to bust but how do they were only five americans i just looked that up like

it was an international thing only five of those arrests were Americans. I think a big part... When they catch a bunch of them like that, and it's hundreds, almost every time what it is... It's always electronic-based, the way they've done it. And many times what it is, the FBI or whatever agency

will make their own child porn location out there. They'll... Yeah, they'll make their own little child porn corner of the dark web, and then everybody starts eating at the water, and they just wait. And the way electronics work, you get one, all of a sudden you open up a network, and they let that network build until they think they've got a big enough case or they can save children's lives or they can like, you know, reservoir dogs.

You know, they're laying there bleeding out. The guy's ears cut off. He's like, we're waiting until the boss comes in the room. Maybe that sort of thing happens occasionally. But they got 450 people. And I don't care if they're American or Mexican or probably Mexican, right? Pedophiles. You know why it mattered to me?

They're not sending their best. Because they were on. I was watching Alex Jones last night. And he was really making this big link between American politicians and this pedophile bust. And when you learn only five of them were actually American,

it's like, oh, this really is kind of not part of American politics. Yeah, not part of it. But it does speak to the literal presence and that this isn't a boogeyman in the dark when we're talking about large groups of men who are in pedophiles. Organized pedophilia is a thing. I mean,

we've all heard of the Catholic Church, right? Yes, I've heard of them. They are the Iran of child pedophilia. They are the biggest state sponsor of child pedophilia. They are the biggest state sponsor of child pedophilia out there. I think Iran is the Iran of pedophilia. You're absolutely right. They are the Saudi Arabia, right? The people who do it, but we don't give them any shit about it.

No problem with Saudi Arabia here. No, sir. I don't know why I'm so afraid of the Saudis or why we treat them with such kid gloves. Because of the oil? All we need is solar power and then we can treat Saudi Arabia like they deserve to be treated. I don't pretend to have a tight grasp on the global crude oil market. Well, I do.

You're in luck. Taylor's here. and maybe this will educate some of our listeners as well but it doesn't matter where the oil comes out of the ground does it it doesn't it's fun there is a global crude oil market so whether whether two out of ten barrels comes out of saudi arabia venezuela or the tar sands in canada does not affect the price and it doesn't make you more energy dependent if it's coming out of your backyard. Because there's a global thing. Now, if we're talking about a world war where German U-boats are sinking.

Well, I was with you until the independent thing. If it comes out of your backyard, you are more energy independent. But it's not like you're only using your oil. Your oil imports stay the same. You just start exporting that oil. It's all flowing in a global pool. The idea being, though, if you didn't have imports, you could burn your

own stuff. Certainly, but when is that going to happen? That's that scenario I just described. U-boats are sinking the boats. Global war. We don't have rail to Canada and Mexico, which is where a ton or pipelines with Mexico or Canada. And we can't even bring pipelines with with mexico or canada and we

can't even bring it in with ships we can't we can't deal with our offshore rigs like that's a global war i don't know why we'd expert oil it doesn't make a lot of sense to me because it like under what scenario is it cheaper to put our oil in a boat and send it to saudi arabia and then also buy the saudi arabia like this is why I say I don't understand global crude oil economics. That question right there is literally it. And it's when I hear about the limited number of refineries and the fact that we haven't built a refinery in this country, a modern one, since like the 80s or the 70s or whatever that number is.

And I'm sure we keep ours modern, right? It's not like we're using a 1965 oil refinery to make everything from... Because crude oil, we think about it as gasoline, but they take crude oil, that black shit, out of the ground, and they make 30 or 40 products out of it. Everything from petroleum jelly, a.k.a. Vaseline, to tar that we pave our roads with.

It's pretty important. Plastic, gasoline, diesel, lots of stuff. Most of the plastics. It's very useful. Most of the good plastics, the hardy ones. I don't know about Zylon. Where does Zylon come from? Is that a kind of plastic?

Zylon is the plastic that Magpul uses for their gun magazines. It's some hardy stuff. Good stuff. Yeah. Do we need a new topic, or are we on a topic? Yeah, let's do that. I don't think anyone's interested in the Zylon. Big news in my family.

My daughter got into UNC. And that is a really big deal. So people don't know UNC is a pretty good school. I have some stats that I can share. I'll share with you guys in case you... I started Googling conservative groups, UNC. Not a single search result. It actually is a little liberal i another

school she got into was um nc state which is a little more conservative and i was like oh that might be a good influence on her but i don't think that's why i should pick a school anyway as a little prank to her i think you should like tell her like look you can go to to to you can be a tar hill but you have to join this group and like libertarians of america or like some right-leaning group capitalism enthusiasts so anyway unc is 30th in the nation as far as like you know the best universities it's 12th and best value which is something that i preach you know i i hate seeing people go put themselves $75,000 in debt for some school that's 1% better than one that they got a scholarship to.

Going in state? Yeah she's going in state. It's top five in public schools like you know for the non-private ones and it's top nine in business which is what she's going to do. I saw there was some guessing people were giving her shit like she was doing gender studies or something. She's actually going for as a business major. She hasn't identified which one.

I'm trying to remember. International business is on her list and sales were two things. She's a very good speaker. She's this competitive speaker, speech and debate person, whatever, and we thought sales might be a neat fit too. So that's it. She's going to major in business at UNC most likely. She has some choices.

She got into a bunch of schools, but this is our leading contender. That's awesome news for her because that's a really good school. I've only ever heard good things about it. You definitely shouldn't pick a college based on, oh, it's a little too conservative or a little too liberal. At the end of the day, yeah, you may have a couple

shitty, annoying professors who talk about shit that they don't fully understand that has nothing to do with their coursework but you can hang out with whoever you want like it's so that's the thing about college is like if it's a big school like unc there's like a critical mass of people where it's like like when i went to mizzou like walking around every day on campus it was like i've never seen any of these thousands of people i'm walking by and i probably won't see them again like i'll never pass this person and recognize them like it's like living in a city so you can just hang

out with whatever groups you want like there's so many little interests you can totally custom build it the way you want like as long as you have a reason or interest when i was in college my friend had this like leather thing with beads on it it was pretty much a native american indian jacket of some sort right like a poncho maybe like it didn't have sleeves they just kind of hung over your shoulders and into there and i wore that one day you want to know why because i don't know any of these fucks and these fucks won't see me again tomorrow i could be anybody i want to every day and i was like i'm gonna wear this this fucking Native American Indian garb today, because whatevs, you know? Cultural appropriation.

Yeah, it was probably the best day you ever had. Everybody's treating you so nice. You're apologizing for taking your land. People were taking second looks at me. I didn't belong in it, for sure, but it's neat to go. So Hope has looked at a lot of different colleges. One of the ones she got accepted to that she was interested in was

Hollins. And I want to say the student body is like 600 people. And it was like, no, no, no, no. You go to a tiny high school. I want you to go to a giant university and have that other experience where you don't know everybody. Where every class, every time you take it, is like 95% strangers, even in your major. Like that's a neat thing. I like that. And UNC, even in your major. That's a neat thing. I like that. And UNC, it's really good.

That's the school that, I don't know if it's like, she got accepted into every school except Georgia Tech. It's the one that said no so far. And University of Texas is still out there. But with UNC saying yes, that's, I don't think. Yeah, you don't even really need to wait for those responses. I would rather go to UNC. If I lived in North Carolina, I'd take UNC

over Georgia Tech. Got better football. Yeah, I'd consider University of Texas and UNC to be very close academically, but price-wise UNC crushes it because we get the in-state tuition. Hope's deal for people, I know I mentioned

this before, i've always told her i would pay what unc costs like that's been our benchmark since she's like 12 and i was like if you want to go to berkeley or something then you're going to take on debt for the gap between what unc costs and what berkeley costs and uh because she'd be out of state on that or whatever like if she goes to some other school if it was harvard i might find a way to pay but uh um the rule was always i'll pay whatever unc costs and she got into that so that really simplifies things for her so did you did you just say i did say berkeley i was in my head but uh yeah um yeah if you know if i'm a if i'm a parent right now this is kind of a separate thing but i guess i guess it's not um yeah if you know if i'm a if i'm a parent right now this is kind of a separate thing

but i guess i guess it's not really like if you heard like to if it was berkeley instead how would what happened yesterday with milo affect that decision at all would it it wouldn't um berkeley is a very liberal school and if people don't know berkeley is like the hippiest school in america maybe you know but it's it certainly competes for that title. That's the one that Carmela Soprano threw the letter away from when her daughter got in. She threw that one away, sent her to NYU. And that would make me

a little nervous. I don't know if I want a mega super liberal influence on Hope already. 3,000 miles away. That's a thing too. Even if it was Stanford or something, the 3,000 miles away is a lot. You're really on your own. And my preference would be to be within driving distance. Even if that distance is eight hours, you know, you can drop everything and go. Whereas if it's 3000 miles, you're like, she's a continent away. Yeah. You

know, like a full width of a continent like that's a huge amount right so what you were saying about like wearing um what was it your native american traditional garb just because you were like you know what fuck it it doesn't matter i did that my not with not native american traditional garb but my freshman year me and a bunch of my friends i had in my dorm had like a manuary where we didn't shave or i know shaved just november okay whatever it was and it was one month of that and we all had like a beard competition see who'd get the longest the fullest we had like categories it was fun and i won with you well they didn't know i i didn't have like a beard grown out most

of the time like i just kept it pretty cropped. And so I grew out a pretty good month beard and won the little contest. And they were like, so we were in the bathroom like shaving. And a couple girls were taking pictures and shit and getting like the funny shapes. And they were like, Taylor, it would be so funny if you went to our class. Because we all had the same class right afterward. If you went to our class with a Hitler mustache today, that would be hilarious. And I was like, you know what?

Fuck it. Like, yeah, I'm in college now. Like, that's pretty funny. People will be like, look at that guy. All laughs. And so I shaved it into basically this amount of facial hair on my upper lip. And I have a very thick thick mustache so it came in well

and i went out like that and i was maybe like oh this is so this my dorm was maybe a half mile from this building like a diagonal line just across the street and you're there and i made it like way between and i was waiting at the light with the hundreds of other students who had come by the way i had a thing where i was like i need to get to this class on time i hate going in late even if it's a big thing and so my friends didn't come with me they didn't mind being late and so they were back there and so i didn't have anybody with me to do like the nice like man that's so funny it's so funny that as a lark you shaved that thing that you believe but i didn't have that guy and so i was just this guy standing there being like well now i cannot go back and shave it i'm gonna be late so

i'm just gonna i guess sit in the back i don't know and so i just walking across getting eyes you know more like curious than like like what the fuck a couple people being like oh nice sailor mustache bro because of course you expect people on college campuses to yell it out. And so I just go the remaining walk pretty much acting like, oh, do I have a nosebleed? I may have a nosebleed. Oh, let me try it out. I sit in the very back. Don't talk to anyone.

Don't look at anyone. Just take my shit, like boring ass, whatever class it was. And then left and immediately shaved it. And my friends didn't even come to class. So fuck them. It's like Jewish studies class. It's a whole new semester. You're back there like this.

Taylor, what's wrong? You aren't taking notes. I feel like I might sneeze any minute. Any minute now it's coming. Two of the guys I was doing that whole contest with actually were Jewish. Oh, okay. Well, that's fine then. But you run into some fucking Israeli exchange student out on the green,

and the next thing you know, he's Krav Maga-ing your ass into submission. Tell me about that martial art, Woody. I think I mispronounce it every time. Yeah, yeah, I'm going for something. I know I always mispronounce it. Where does that come from? Israel.

Israel uses it in their army military training. Is that where it comes from, though. Is that where it came from? Originated from, I suppose. Yeah, I think it's, you know, of course it's a combination of a bunch of things that already existed, but I think Israel made it for their military. I'm not sure. Those guys are hard fucking core. What do they call them? The Mossad?

The Israeli Special Forces? I've watched a lot of those documentaries and little shows about post-World War II, their Nazi hunting exploits. Those guys are so hardcore. They're going down to South America just knocking some Nazi over the head. He wakes up and fucking Israel in court.

He's like, oh no. This will not be a jury of my peers. I guarantee it. Just knocking everybody's at yarmulkes. He's talking about the Hitler mustache. So what I did did my wife was out of town i grew a beard and every day i took a picture of it tried to do the exact same face and line it up it wasn't perfect but and then i took this software that morphed you know the morphing thing and you could just see my beard get like thicker and thicker and bigger and bigger and then on the way off i did like the i don't know

soul patch big big thing. And one of them was Hitler mustache. Because it was a joke, right? So as I shaved it off, it was like just this stuff, just this. And I had a Hitler mustache in the video for like whatever, three quarters of a second because it would just fade and flip. And that Hitler mustache became like the thumbnail on like a dozen different hater videos.

It was like, you fucks. Like that's the picture. There's that one. And then haters also use – I guess someone would like do speed drawing. Like that was a popular YouTube category a couple years ago. And there's this one particular speed draw video of me where I don't look very good. They're not a good drawer. Somebody did a bad job drawing you, and they used that image.

Here's the same Nazi racist testing dog collars to see if it's powerful enough to properly punish his animals. People gave those videos some views. We mentioned it last week that they were almost at 2 million, but they're almost at two million like it needs like a hundred thousand yeah go watch woody get shocked by the shot caller that's a good video it's called um i'll bark if i want to god damn it or something yeah something like that and while you're at it then go to my channel and just click auto play all and just go let them it. Go to school with it going. You know, whatever. I'm happy with YouTube Red. It sounds self-serving, but I used to run AdBlocker,

and then it started being that it took like 10 seconds for videos to play. I don't know if it's still doing that. But they would just pause on black for like the length of time there was an ad. And I was like, dude, I watch more YouTube than Netflix at this point. I'm going to get YouTube Red. Now I feel like a little money fairy. Like I just know I'm sprinkling pennies on every video I watch. You know because I felt like a douche before using Adblock.

It's like you do it but you know that you're an asshole for doing it. You know like this is how they make their money and you're not playing by the rules. How much is it? In like ten dollars a month or something. it's not being able to turn your phone off and also listen to videos so that's one thing uh no ads is another thing and then uh you get access to google play which is like a spotify competitor and um and that if you're a spotify buyer like i was all of a sudden it's like oh so i get another spotify but i also get the youtube things then like it starts to like make sense amazon prime does that too kind of like you get their amazon music app you get the free shipping you get the tv shows like there's a lot bundled into the amazon

prime package the amazon prime fan yeah oh dude i buy so much shit off amazon but uh where i was headed with this is I feel like it's $10 a month that distributes, right? I think five of that goes to YouTube creators. So really, I must be giving fractions of a penny on these videos I watch. But I'm like, you know, like, ah, you know, paramotor friend.

I'm being so generous in watching the entire four minutes of your video. Here's a penny. And it's how your video, you're getting a penny. And it's how I feel every time I watch a video. I'm just throwing pennies at the creator. You must be so happy a YouTube writer like me is watching your stuff. And that's how it feels. Anyway.

I might get it. I don't know. There's just not as much of a reason to with stitcher and soundcloud and you can just get so many podcasts and content for free there like it's hard for me to want to pay for youtube bread yeah there's never so it's like it's never gonna be used by me because like especially for music because i don't listen to music the only the only time i listen to music is if i'm at home on a laptop or computer and i have this headset on and i just want to hear something play while i do another thing but if i'm out if i'm laptop or computer and I have this headset on and I just want to hear something play while I do another thing.

But if I'm out, if I'm driving, then I want to listen to talk radio. Then I want to listen to the news. And if I'm doing something, then I want a book. I'm listening to The Martian right now. That's a good one. No, music is my thing when I'm driving or on my motorcycle too

because my helmet has Bluetooth built into it and stuff. And so I listen to music pretty much whenever I travel. Not like real travel, like go to the doctor even and shit. So I do it a lot and I found Amazon's music app to be the worst. I've done Spotify, I've done Google Play, and I've done Amazon's. And Amazon's was the worst. You know what's really the worst? It's Taco Bell's naked chicken chalupa.

Have you had one of these, Taylor? I don't know. I was curious about what it meant. I was like, oh, a naked chicken chalupa. That sounds maybe delicious. Maybe they've got some organic ingredients. No, let me tell you what they do. Instead of a chalupa shell or taco or tortilla of any kind.

They just take a piece of chicken and fold it into a taco shape and fill it with lettuce and tomato and the sauce and that's it. You've got a big chicken breast patty folded into a taco. I threw it away. I looked at it and threw it away.

That doesn't sound bad to me. It's their chicken though, not your chicken. Okay, strong point. Is the chicken treated in some way that makes it better for holding? No, it's battered and fried. I wish I knew more about the Taco Bell battered and fried.

Because if I had a Wendy's patty, it would just leak grease all over my hands or something. It wouldn't fold. This thing is as thin as a hamburger bun and this big around. And when you fold it, it's sort of golden brown and crispy and it tastes terrible. I took one bite and I was like, well, that was a fucking mistake. That was just, that was an error. Like lesson learned.

Real shit. I don't eat at Taco Bell. Like I literally haven't had Taco Bell in probably 15 years. Yeah, I found a video. Just mute it because it's not worth listening to. And skip like the first 24 seconds. Or actually skip to a minute. Like 55 seconds he takes it out of the pouch.

This looks horrific. What in God's name is this? This is not a chicken breast. Why is he shirtless? This fat monster is sitting shirtless in a hood somewhere. It's processed chicken. They grind up a bunch of chicken parts and they form it into this patty. That's what it is. It's not real white

meat. When I look at that thing, visually, it looks good to me. Not healthy. You just got to remember it's chicken. It looks like a hash brown. I like chicken. It looks, yeah, it does look like a hash brown. I eat chicken like 360 days a year.

If you have to count turkey, I eat poultry. Like almost every day. I have a recipe for Jackie. I think we talked about on the show she needs that chick-fil-a recipe that i got where you brine the chicken oh my chicken's so goddamn good i make better chicken than you could buy it's so good i'm so proud of my chicken recipe i found it's not me at all is it hard it's not easy but it's you know i did it you know it works here's the thing on a normal night right this is not like a special thing like almost every night she makes a different meal for me colin hope and her mom

every night and these are like good meals with like two different sides and stuff like i had chicken rice and peas right not extravagant or anything her mother had some other like a differently prepared chicken with like uh chopped strawberries and kiwis and something else and hope had something else and colin like everyone has their own separate so a meal that takes like even 50 minutes to prepare like oh my gosh you multiply that times four you got a real thing going on it It needs to be good and easy. I mean, you know, it's frying chicken. You brine the chicken for six hours in pickle juice, water, salt, and sugar.

But that's just sitting in a plastic bag in your fridge all that time. It's really just chicken in a bag and then pour some stuff in it, and then this sits for six hours. I do that in the morning. Was it a web page? Yeah, it was a web page. I'll keep looking for it, but it's so good. It really tastes exactly like Chick-fil-A.

This guy seems to like it. The two... That guy doesn't dislike many foods. That guy's a real disgusting human being. He does his food review shirtless and sweaty so well eating some things that's so that doesn't look good like i i would do the same thing if i ordered that i'd get it and i'd say well this is this is unacceptable and just throw it away

i wouldn't even go in and complain because it's taco bell and it was probably a dollar 29 like it's not even worth that time like just live that's that's the price of learning that life lesson that you shouldn't have trusted the new options section of taco bell because they can only bastardize the four ingredients they always use into something that's going to be hit for like three months until all the stoners realize this is the same shit as like everything else on the menu and it's like twice as much it's like of course yeah i don't know i i don't understand how much you like taco bell like the thought of going and spending if you told me you have to eat 20 food at taco bell i'd be like what is this what by

volume is your most expensive item and i'd still probably have to buy like five of them like yeah i have a question on a totally different topic because you mentioned the stoner thing i know that you guys know people who smoke pot um is there a variety aside from edibles that skips the whole coughing thing yeah you could they make those uh those vape pens now that's very similar to what taylor uses and you have a cartridge of like oil. It's a concentrate oil of some kind and you pop that into this little battery powered electro gizmo and puff like cold.

Can you get that outside of like Colorado and Washington and such? Not legally. Well, okay, I understood that, but I guess I was saying like if I just went down to the local campus with my skateboard and hello fellow kids did, like, would they have oil for sale? Nah, that's a pretty special, like, yes and no. I think that your problem would be, like, getting in with someone who, like, first of all, I know for sure it's on like the black market like here in georgia because i've seen them i've seen like friends of friends show up at a party with one and been like what the fuck did you get that back home bro

like what are you doing and but but you know it's it seems like you know it's they're not coughing they're just puffing on like taylor puffs on that thing and they seem to get high as fuck. But I think that your main problem would be finding the guy who has those and convincing him to talk to you and sell you one. You know what I mean? Because if I'm that guy and you come talk to me, you look like a fucking cop. You look like the detective Woodworth is what you look like. How much for a pound of weeds? How much do you buy like michael scott

buying it like remember when michael scott bought the weed and he ended up buying like the the the salad with the mozzarella in it and stuff he's like yeah it's a little rickies salad a little basil there that was a problem in my high school people would buy weed and they would get um what is it that they not alfredo it's oregano oregano but um there's i keep i know someone in high school who sold uh who sold a bag of so there's a foreign exchange this is like a few years below me but i knew after they told me and they took like there's this foreign exchange student from korea and he wanted weed and these people he was talking to didn't smoke weed and they didn't sell weed

but he thought that this foreign exchange this foreign exchange student thought that these kids had weed and so they told him like yeah man what do you need like we'll get it for you for sure like tomorrow lunch come by and so they've got a bunch of strawberries and just tore off the green tops of strawberries and put it in a bag and sold it to this kid this korean foreign exchange student for like 15 or some like weird amount of money like that's like where'd you land on that for a bag of fake weed and then the kid took it was like apparently the kid took it and was like okay yeah that's fine because he didn't know what weed looked like, I guess. And he left.

And then eventually he came back for more. Not to. Oh, no. Like, what you would want to believe for the comedy effect is that he actually rolled up a doobie with a bunch of semi-moist, freshly torn off strawberry stems. But I think that what really happened is he got home and probably opened it and was like, these are strawberries. And then he was like, goddammit, these fucking white people. I'm here for two months and they're

trying to sell me shit. I had a friend that went to South Korea. She went to South Korea to teach English with no Korean language skills of her own. It was a well-paying job. I've talked about it before. But anyway, what she described was that alcohol and cigarettes were wildly inexpensive

there she's like it's ridiculous how cheap like a bottle of vodka or a carton of cigarettes are here it's just it's a quarter of what it would cost in the US she's like but weed it might as well be heroin for real like they lock your ass up

if they catch you with weed like you go to prison like you're gone like what happened to miko oh they caught him with an ounce he's gone like you'll never see miko again no more miko they sent him to north korea it's like in like saudi arabia where like if you get caught with booze or uh weed or drugs it's not oh, you're going to jail. It's like you're being executed. Like, yeah, you can't sell drugs here. We're killing you. I always get a giggle out of that whole thing they've got in Saudi Arabia that's literally like a bureau of witchcraft and wizardry Harry Potter style who like search out and catch witches.

And it's funny. It's really funny to hear that, especially when you see the building. And I don't read Farsi, but there's a translation next to the dexter and everything you're like holy shit that's it that's the ministry of witchcraft and wizardry and it's all funny and fun and games you're haha those backwards savages and then you hear they caught nine witches last year and killed them and i'm like oh no oh no like nine witches the past month the past week or whatever like nine people who had seizures or something, who had like epilepsy. And we're like, oh, that's the devil.

Get him. You know what the problem is? Is the guy who was given that government bureau in the first place started out way too gung ho. I bet his first month in charge, he was like, what's that guy doing? He's like, he's talking on his cell phone. That's pretty witchy. That's pretty witchy. That's pretty witchy. Bring him in.

You're a wizard, sir, and we're putting you to death. Oh, another guy over there. We're going to get him. So he probably had like 100 executions in the first month. And then they were like, you're doing so great. We took a poll, and we're almost witch-free. We're going to drop your funding. It just makes sense.

You've almost solved the problem. He has to be like, oh, no, no, no. Witchery is growing at a constant pace so we will need lots of money because i guarantee 10 years from now i'll be finding witches around every corner at exactly the right amount i need to ensure i get government funding i don't know how it works there i assume the way it works there is like give me more of that oil money and they go ah you keep killing witches yeah yeah the the saudis are and i every now and then i'll hear some like liberal propaganda about how the saudis are making headway like oh yeah they they're really starting to consider this the new prince is really starting to consider this women driving thing and like oh

what a humanitarian what a friend to the female race he is soon he won't rape them at will and beat them with his beating strap he's got like a like come on like it's absurd let me do an ad read while he's gone it's a grade two people in saudi arabia you have surpassed the dog all right let's see uh nature box that seems good what do you do when you want to snack but all you can find is junk food rely on your self-control to resist the temptation please you eat the junk food start snacking on your self-control to resist temptation? Please. You eat the junk food. Start snacking healthy with NatureBox. NatureBox makes snacks that actually taste great and are better for you.

They're created with high-quality ingredients that are free of artificial colors, flavors, or sweeteners, so you can feel great about snacking. Some of our personal favorites here are the peanut butter nom-noms, the chocolate hazelnut granola, and Chiz likes those praline pumpkin seeds.

NatureBox recently made their service even better. Now you can order as much as you want as often as you want with no minimum purchase required, and you can cancel any time. It's simple. Go to naturebox.com and check out their snack catalog. There are over 100 snacks to choose from, and they're constantly adding delicious new snacks. Choose the snacks you want, and they'll deliver them right to your door.

With NatureBox, you'll never get bored. There are new snacks each and every month inspired by real customer feedback. And if you ever try a snack you don't like, NatureBox will replace it for free. And right now, you'll save even more. NatureBox is offering our listeners here 50% off your first order

when you go to naturebox.com slash pka. That's naturebox.com slash pka for 50% off your first order. When you go to naturebox.com slash p-k-a. That's naturebox.com slash p-k-a for 50% off your first order. Go make it happen. Those are really tasty, wholesome snacks. And I like them a lot. I really do. We usually keep a big basket of that shit in the house. I like it. Yep, it's a good

decision. Now, if you look there in the background, you'll see three bouquets of flowers. Chiz got lazy this week. Chiz is on his train of course choo-chooing across the country so instead of giving them three addresses because that's hard to copy paste he gave them one address one address in north carolina to send all of the flowers from 1-800 flowers so while i don't have a fresh beautiful bouquet in front of me right now to smell and tell you how wonderful but he's sending he was on a train like and obviously you couldn't do that from the train

you only have 30 hours of nothing and wi-fi access constant constantly so so he had no way to make that happen um he sent woody all of the flowers from 1-800 flowers um so uh let me uh let me do their little ladry let me tell you a little bit more about 1-800-Flowers. There are a lot of options when it comes to buying flowers for Valentine's, but there's only one rose authority. That's why every year we keep coming back to 1-800-Flowers.com. 1-800-Flowers never fails to wow my girlfriend with their elegant and stunning bouquets. And right now, when you order a dozen multicolored roses for only $29.99,

1-800-Flowers will give you another dozen plus a vase absolutely free. That's 50% off the original price. These breathtaking roses from 1-800-Flowers are picked at their peak and shipped overnight to ensure freshness and your loved one's amazement. Buy one, get one free rose bouquets

plus a vase. It's an amazing Valentine's offer, but it's only available while supplies last. Every bouquet is packed with, is backed, excuse me, by a 100%, by a 1-800-Flowers, 100% smile guarantee.

If you or your loved one has any issues whatsoever, call 1-800-Flowers, and they'll make it right. When it comes to Valentine's season, we don't settle for anything less than My Rose Authority, 1-800-Flowers.com to order a dozen multicolored roses plus an extra bouquet in base for just $29.99 go to 1-800-Flowers.com slash pka that's 1-800-Flowers.com

slash pka why wait to wow order right now at 1-800-Flowers.com and woody has told me that that room is just filled with this delicious aroma of roses. He loves it. Yes. He's a big fan of that. He is a huge fan. He's going to go share. I wish he'd knock them all over. No, please don't knock them all over.

Don't knock them all over. Oh, my God. That was so funny. With bare feet. He's walking around like Marvin Home Alone. Well, check out 1-800-Flowers and and you too can enjoy beautiful flowers at home yeah or more likely give them to someone who you care about yeah people like flowers it's hard to go wrong with flowers like like some people have this talent of coming up with these elegant homemade gifts that

are that are just perfect for this one individual person you can't go wrong with flowers everybody likes flowers they smell nice they look nice and they show that you put some effort for it which is all that she's looking for i promise like you know uh bill burr talks about his girlfriend who brought him that one sandwich four years ago cut it diagonally put the fritos on top ice cold beer to go with it he He still thinks about it. You give your girlfriend those flowers, same thing. They just want to know that you're thinking of them. You know? Like if they mention

like a vest or something and you just make a mental note of it and like four months later for their birthday you show up with that, even if it was only like a cheap, like if it was on clearance or something and they wanted it, that'll mean more than going out and buying something like needlessly expensive just to be like i'll just cover my ass with money this is 200 you can't be pissed or whatever you give your girlfriend one hundred

flowers she'll treat you right like an orangutan prostitute right and she will not try to peel your penis unlike that orangutan you can use that tagline no charge. Yep. I might be a little allergic to flowers. You'll be seeing a lot of 1-800-asshole after you give them those 1-800-flowers. Remember that old Dave Chappelle joke about training the monkey to suck your dick? He's like, after that, all your friends are trying to get you to go out, and you're like, nah, I'm going to stay at home with my monkey. He's like, nigga, you know how long it took me to teach him to jerk me off without peeling it first?

I have tea here. I have throat lozenges. I took some Claritin. I'm going to try to stop coughing before the show ends. I'm pulling out all the stops. Lozenges? For your throat?

Wait, what? Am I missing a joke? I'm just saying that sometimes if you have a sore throat, a couple of Los Cinchers will get it. They'll all go in the right way. That's exactly what I'm hoping. I don't know. But he has a very specific allergy, it seems. Don't let that...

He's allergic to grape juices and high-quality farms. I like that. That's good. Mention Bill Burr there. We've all seen the entirety of his special. His new special that he just released. I have, and I know you didn't like it. I felt bad seeing your comments, but before you shit on Bill Burr's new show,

I want to be sure that... I think this is why. It seems like you are such a huge Bill Burr fan that you really follow this guy. Do you follow him on Twitter? Oh, yeah. Yeah, you follow him on Twitter, you probably look at his Facebook posts, you watch his, like, live performance clips, excerpts, and shit from some random shit-chill comedy show,

and because you do all that, you were exposed over this last year and a half to him honing this special together and putting it together. There were some reused bits, there absolutely were, that we'd seen in previous specials or that had been reworked or reworded in some way,

but I think you would have appreciated it much more and laughed a lot more if you weren't such a big Bill Burr fan. I love him, but I don't follow him anywhere. I see him occasionally if he speaks. I watch a little bit of his podcast or whatever it is. It's just him talking. It's hardly a podcast. occasionally if he speaks i watch maybe i watch a little bit of his uh his uh his podcast or whatever it is it's just him talking it's it's that's hardly a podcast it's just him like flowing

everywhere but he doesn't really go into bits in that um so i didn't get it i loved it i really did like it i didn't you know it's not as good as like the first time i sat down and there were like three bill burr specials to watch because I just had discovered him, that was a great day. But I think it fits in with those. I think you're totally right as far as I'm such a big fan of his because I saw him in St. Louis last year, eight months ago, nine months ago. So I saw that gorilla bit that he did. I knew exactly what he was going to say

there i knew exactly the um uh what's a cruise ship thing uh the whole white guys are evil thank god that kanye's ego is in a black guy i saw that a little bit but it's only he like translated like the dictators into musicians or something because it wasn't working for him was that on the spot it seemed like it was live oh no that's a bit no that's that's that's part of the whole thing i think he just goes into it knowing that no audience is going to be like laughing and like every audience is going to have this awkward moment when you start comparing hitler to the yankees you know be like yeah he had a lot of dingers you know six million dingers but look at stalin 25 million that's a whole nother level that's steroid era numbers like that killed me

i love that no it's a funny bit definitely but like the thing with is like like he didn't branch out from topics at all so even though i'm an enormous bill burr fan and so i knew that gorilla bit was coming i knew a lot of the bits were coming. They're still good. But God, like he doesn't leave those topics ever. Like he's talked about the population problem and he's even literally talked about the cruise ship, the exact same bit that was two specials ago, if I recall correctly, exactly that same bit. He just took it a little further in a slightly different direction. And so that was like disappointing for me where I'm like, God damn it.

Like I've watched all your specials so many times you start talking about population crisis i immediately go all right he's going to mention cruise ships i mean we need to start targeting people that are on cruise ships and he hits it perfectly and it's like okay i know exactly what you're going to do the whole uh nazi thing he's stuck on nazis and hitler for too long because he's he's done plenty of nazi comparison jokes and plenty of like hitler as a team or hitler as a musician like that kind of shit in previous specials where it's like like god damn it dude like it's not that these are bad subjects it's just you've beaten them so much that like why not expand why not go talk about something a little bit different like that's what i wanted

to see and that's why it wasn't a bad special i was just disappointed because the last special i thought his last special was better than this one oh i disagreed the last one barely got a chuckle out of me this one um i was laughing a lot but they were all new bits to me um the the cruise ship thing seemed mildly unfamiliar but like the monkey thing i was spellbound i was like oh yeah because i think i had watched that video myself like independent of bill burr and and his comedy i think i had watched that video myself, independent of Bill Burr and his comedy. I think I had watched that fucking monkey and about how it had the cat and the cat died and it was crying. And it was like, ah, that's so heartwarming.

And then I love the end of the bit. He's like, oh, wait a minute. Probably going to want to go talk to his friends. Wait, talk to his friends. He's probably going to teach him how to talk and oh no i gotta kill this thing i like that whole bit he's like i'm looking for my glock it was right here glock's gone so i get this little revolver and then the ending of the bit is i liked it a lot of it's not fair because i'm holding him to i think an unattainably high

standard because he's my favorite comedian by a lot like i think he's just brilliant with a lot of the stuff he does but ah that was it wasn't as good as triggered of all of his specials this most recent one is my least favorite like it's a shame i i thought it was not as good as joe rogan's newest special triggered i know we've talked about a couple times woody's a big fan i was a massive fan of that you know that's his second special and i loved his first special i like the whole bit about like you about him and the ant having this little talk. He's like, I got a can of something with your face on it, and I'll hold the button down until it's light.

That's funny to me. The monkey genetics in it. All that talk. That's funny to me. But his newest special was a whole other level. I feel like Bill Burr is getting better as a stand-up comedian. I just want to see him branch out and talk about more shit like bring that comedy into other arenas because if he like my god bill like serial

killers and hitler as sports teams and comparisons there like you've drilled it to death if you ever find this just move on from that you know the whole thing is like that comedians now is like yeah you finish your hour special and then then throw it all in the garbage. And it's like, you always talk about doing that, which makes big-time fans like me think that, like, okay, this is all new shit, definitely, because he's always talking about how he leaves that stuff behind. And then when you see, wait, these are,

half of this special is just reworked bits you've done before with the Kanye West thing, the kanye west thing the the hitler thing the especially the population problem that pissed me off a little bit where i was just like god damn it we know how you feel but i mean i repeat myself all the goddamn time but bill bird doesn't talk four hours a week that's fair yeah i already rationalized it yeah an hour a year god we even i could have new stories in an hour a year you never repeat yourself something needs to happen to his wife and preferably child oh that would be dark heaven and hell sent wait yeah right like like look i i don't want bad things to happen to bill bird

seems like a wonderful fucking person but i know that through tragedy would come a just a pool of material if his wife like cheated on here's here's what happens and i don't want this to happen to bill burton the bill burr the man i want it to happen to bill burr the comedian if we can separate the two for a moment i want his wife to cheat on him and while she's cheating on him is that's a little dark if something happens to spend a lot of his money and be two-faced about it that would be good and maybe if she if she took the child away and told a bunch of lies about him, about how he's an abusive guy or something. Or, forgive me for saying this, if something happened to the child because she was off cheating on him. Like, she's away cheating on him, not watching the child.

Something real bad happens. Child's not around anymore. I'm not sure that's the comedy goldmine you think it is. Dark! Dark comedy! Like, we're talking about a whole new Bill Burrr he comes out there all pale and skinny as fuck like he's just he just dark circles under his eyes and he's just he just rants and raves about the evils of the female race and talks about how they're another a subspecies or something like he just loses it

like that'd be great that'd be great yeah that would be like the name of his special like i told you so like he's like well i did it you know i said in the first two specials that marriage was the worst thing in the world and then i got married didn't i then old billy boy went out and got married didn't he oh how was that how'd that work out for him anybody know anybody know how that panned out didn't pan out well got divorced lost my kid not like or whatever he would do that's a pretty good bill burr impression right there you should be his opener he's like ah this fucker stole all my material yeah i go in man this fucking population problem it's a real issue we should start out with cruise ships and he's in the corner looking through his notes we're rifling through them what else do i have i was banking on cruise ships to get me to an hour 20. I'll be right back.

I got to blow my nose. It's these fucking high quality and high prices. I'm so allergic. I'll be right back. High quality, low prices. Oh, yeah. Yeah, my mistake. I fucked it up.

I can't even think straight. The pollen's getting to him. Yeah, not the pollen. No, it's the low prices and high quality. Right? He's flabbergasted. He's got some very specific rose allergies because i've seen him outdoors and he doesn't have these problems that's yeah i'm lucky

i don't have a lot of allergies to pollen and plants like i'll get a little sniffly or my eyes might get upset but nothing bad i got i feel bad for people who are like, oh, summertime's coming around. Guess I'm going to be spending a lot of time inside. It's like, oh, that sucks. I can feel the moment when my allergy medication stops working. It's like, oh, it just quit. Yeah, they've gotten better. I don't know much about allergies, but I definitely, my allergies have, have gotten not as bad as I've gotten older. Maybe in the last four years they've improved. Cause when I was a teenager,

um, I can remember, or in my early twenties, I can remember being outside and like doing yard work and, and like looking at whoever I was with and being like, I gotta, I gotta quit. I gotta go home. You know, I can't. And they're like, what? I'm like allergies, man. I can't, I'm like, look at my eyes. And if I opened them wide, they would just pour, they would pour until I couldn't. And they're like, what? I'm like, allergies, man. I can't. I'm like, look at my eyes. And if I open them wide, they would just pour. They would pour until I couldn't see. And I'd be like rubbing them. And the more you rub them, the itch. My eyes are getting itchy right now just from thinking about this.

And I would just go blind basically to the point where I was like barely could drive home. And my nose, the inside of your nose, my nose would itch like I had inhaled fiberglass to the point where I wanted to get my pinky all the way in there or a pipe cleaner. One time I remember fantasizing about a pipe cleaner doubled over and then stick the loop up there and just because it itches so bad.

Someone needs to invent a little umbrella snot puller where you can put it in your nose, inflate the umbrella, and then just pull out. Oh, they make that, buddy. You know what they have similar to that? I thought it was my idea.

Yes, I was just about to look up a neti pot and the image of that lady just looking deadpan into the camera. It's just a small little teacup or teakettle looking thing, plastic full of warm water warm salt water and you put one side in your right nostril and you lean and you pour it in and then it comes out of your left nostril and if you're a 17th century chinaman that's the way to

clear a nasal i've never done a modern day american you want the navaj nose cleaner this is the only one that uses suction now this is not a sponsor but I've seen the commercials for it dozens of times on Hulu. You should see this thing work. It sucks one nostril and shoots water into the other. You can see there's two water chambers in the device and the water leaves the top partition and comes down to the bottom one via the loop of the nasal passage. This looks to me like something trump would approve of during interrogation oh yeah we're gonna get to the bottom of this

hook him up to the neti pot you'll breathe clean what's in my head is this like kyle and so at first i got all the pka swag it just worked out like that like she didn't know where to fucking send it so i'm getting like shirts and whatever. And then I don't know what time period. I'll say nine months or something. But Kyle seems to be like getting the underwear, the Jack Threads. I'm especially jealous of the food. It's a sponsor today.

Is it Nature Box? I never got my Jack Threads credit. I'm just saying. They're a sponsor next week. But I'm just saying. So Nature Box. When Kyle does the nature box ads i'm legit wanting half that stuff and uh and i've never had any of it i even signed up on the web

page like i'll send me this this and that they're like fucking woody we'll give kyle what you asked for or something i don't know what happens to it and uh and then the tide turns, and I get some swag. And what do I get? Like 36 roses for my office, which is like biological warfare for me. I get packages from sponsors totally randomly, where I'll be like, well, I guess I'm not getting anything from sponsors anymore. And then just randomly another MeUndies will show up. And it's like, oh, that worked worked out i guess like that's fine i got the uh or no we're not gonna talk about sponsors aren't sponsoring us tonight no it would be funny though if like you got like hey here's a king-size magic i don't even

have a king-size bed now i gotta buy a box spring you guys are giving me chores i guess i'll get rid of the couch i don't know man that is something i wish i could go back and change with college is that there was one point where my box spring when i had my own place broke and i was like fuck it i'll just put the mattress on the ground for now i don't care it feels about the same and at the time it didn't even cross my mind of like, hey, most chicks, and read all when I say most. Not all chicks, but all chicks. None of them want to get banged on a mattress sitting on the ground, which is definitely – and it's understandable. It's very low-class looking.

Like when you get on a bed, you almost have to hoist yourself up a little bit. Like, oh, you hoist yourself up and you bounce. This is like you're getting on your knees to get on there like the box it just looks shitty so if you're in college it doesn't look rustic or this guy doesn't give a fuck it looks what the hell is this guy a serial killer like did he have like did he end up having to throw that away because covered bloodstains like when i was in uh when i when i lived in atlanta um there were these guys who had moved down from Pennsylvania to Atlanta. It was three friends, and they had all moved to follow one of them.

Two of them had followed the third because he was following a girl. And I always thought that that was a cool thing, that like, wow, these guys are really good friends. Like this one guy found this girl that he loves, and the two of them moved to Atlanta. And his two buddies are like, you know what? We're going to. And they all moved to Pennsylvania down there. Well, one of these guys, Travis was the cool guy. He worked with me. He sold cars and he was good at it. And he was making a decent living. He was making a couple grand a month at least, enough to pay for everything he had. And he was able to afford to

bring all this furniture down. And his girlfriend was, her tits were so goddamn big. And I'm really polite. Like I won't stare at your girlfriend's tits, you know, to the world at large. But it was a struggle. I was like Joe Rogan at those weigh-ins when they put those fucking... And he's just like, all right, this is the world I live in. I know the cameras are watching me right now,

so I'm going to look at the ceiling and this is going to be on the internet tomorrow because they know what I'm not looking at. Ronda Rousey got naked to make weight. I'll be looking here. Really? I don't got naked to make weight. I'll be looking here. I don't think that's happened to her, but it's happened. Man, I bet they wish

they didn't have that last thimble of water the evening before as they're stripping naked. I'd take a shit on stage before I strip down naked. As soon as there's more poop left. I guess they gotta dig around in there sometimes. I mean, go check off or something.

So one of the guys that moved down to follow my friend down, he came down in the second stage of moves. I met my friend. We've been working for a while. He said, oh, my buddies are coming down next week because he lived in this three-bedroom apartment by himself. And I was like, wow, you got some nice digs here before the other two guys came down. He's like, oh,, more guys coming. So the other guys come down and I meet

his friend. I like his friend even better than him. They're very cool, chill people. They knew Bam Margera because they were from the same part of PA and they went to high school with him and shit. And so it was cool hearing stories from him because I was a big jackass fan even at the time. But the one guy had all of his personal belongings in storage in PA, and he could not sell a car. And time kept passing, time kept passing, until the point where not only could he not pay to move his things down, he couldn't pay to keep them stored. And so they sold them off. They auctioned off his belongings. And when I say his belongings, I mean everything the man owned that didn't come down in his luggage when he moved down to atlanta his bed his dressers you know the stuff that like we bring

with us when we leave our parents home that first time and maybe it's not a great dresser but it's your dresser you know right right loses it all he's sleeping on an air mattress in his bedroom and i just remember going there and looking and being like god damn it ain't even inflated right dude somehow one night he picked up this nasty black chick outside of the strip club and took her back and fucked her on that air mattress. And I remember thinking, like, when she got in there and saw that air mattress, like, what was she thinking? Right?

Like, I don't know if you ever slept on an air mattress. He's playing seduction on veteran mode. Oh, that's the hardest pussy you've ever gotten. I mean, she was no prize. But getting any female into that apartment and onto that air mattress is a real feat. I wouldn't want to try to attempt it myself. It would be easier,

it would be much easier to get two chicks than it would be to get one chick onto an air mattress, I think. Do you think that when they sat down on it at first, it wasn't quite inflated all the way, so he had to be like, give me one second. He told me it went flat. No, it went flat.

20 minutes, and this is going to be halfway done. It went flat halfway through the fucking... You don't carry C-cells on you, do you? When you're rolling around on an air mattress, you get the rub sound

of it straining on itself. Nobody wants the sound of fucking on an air mattress. It would sound very... Because it's not even thick enough to hold... You're humping and bottoming out and hitting the floor through it. So you're both stuck in the same taco, almost,

of no... You're just fucking on the ground with a plastic... you put down a tarp and you're fucking on the ground basically. That was awful. I remember thinking that was one hell of a – You can go too far the other way too. My bed is in this house now. I think we got beds that weren't made for box springs and then we got box springs and then we got pillow tops. My beds are tall enough that the Great Danes are like, I'm not fucking jumping up there. Yeah, you should have got a slat bed with the springy slats, right?

They don't require the box spring. Oh, yeah. I don't know. She just – I think it's a British thing. My wife was convinced that box springs make the bed better somehow. I don't know that it does anything. But anyway, our beds are quite tall.

the bed better somehow i don't know like that it does anything but anyway our beds are quite tall and yeah i think it's a difference between american and maybe british slash european like sleeping stuff because kitty's got a very different idea of what a bed is it constitutes a bed than i do like like hers has this like fluffy thing on top and although i always want the other day that's like the gel that stays cool for my king size and now it's now my casper is a mega casper mattress it's like is that actually working well keeping you cool like my cold pillow stays cold for like half an hour like like right up it gets me to sleep and it's still like this is uncomfortably cold almost it's nice i love it and uh i got some good sheets on there i'm sleeping good lately i really good sheets and that casper mattress with that topper in my pillow.

I couldn't ask for anything better than what I got right now as far as sleeping. That's great. Until we have that other mattress sponsor. At which point you couldn't ask for it better than them. Is Casper a sponsor tonight? Nope. We don't have any bed sponsors tonight. I sleep on a Casper mattress.

So perhaps if I were sent a free mattress from another group, I might consider that, but until such time, I will continue believing that the Casper is the greatest mattress ever made by a man. Use our code when you buy them. I am feeling better. That was biological warfare that

she's waged on me. That was love, is what that was. Send some love your girlfriend's way this Valentine's Day. Just saying all the flowers. Yeah, I didn't want them either, but it's funny to saw they're all three right there.

Did you get more another sponsor? Did you get more meat undies the other day by any chance? Did they send you their Valentine's line? I did. Yes, they're amazing. I asked for panties this time for my girlfriend, and I didn't know what size panties my girlfriend wore apparently,

and she has sent me all these medium panties that she can't wear, so now I've got a bunch of MeUndies panties. But they felt real soft. And they don't ride up when you wear them either. I promise. It may sound silly, but it seems like the majority of girls wear small. I don't even know what size underwear girls wear.

Because I think that they do vanity sizing. I've heard of that before. And I've talked to people who obviously work in clothing stores and they've confirmed it. That it's like, they're more likely to say, like, like oh this is a this is a small but if you compare it's like a european size one it would be like a medium or something like that or for guys like if you if like i wear like a large american t-shirt

or medium sometimes and if i get like a hugo boss shirt or something like that like a foreign made shirt and i go for like large or medium it's like I'm not even fitting into this thing. Like how narrow are people in Europe's shoulders that this is a large shirt? Like what the fuck's going on? Like obviously it's just because we're fatter, I think.

We're bigger. Stronger. More powerful. The shirt I was looking for. Stronger. Bolder. You're bolder. Refreshing. Bold and I was looking for. Stronger. Bolder. You're bolder. Refreshing. Bolder shirt. American sizing. LeviStraps.com.

Bold sizes. Yeah, bold sizes. That's what we need. For the man on the go. The powerful man. Yeah, I need a bigger shirt for all this freedom. If you're worried about shirt squares, this is not the brand for you. They have those magazine covers with an enormous fat woman on there where they all pretend that she's attractive and she's really

just a monster and they don't we need to have that for america like the american magazine that we send out there you know if they can do it with fat chicks on magazines we can do it too but a big nascar watching big fat fuck and big patriot you know know, a patriotic suit. You can be as fat as you want and you still look kind of presentable in a suit. You know, you just stars and stripes. Unless your tie's too long at which point it's ridiculous. Or too short. Yeah, that's something that I

Oh my god. Too long is better than too short. It is, yeah. Too short, you look like you're an extra in like The Office or something. But a little too long would be easier to pull off. His was way way too long and the scotch tape looked ridiculous and and oh you don't know this is a trump thing that people have been mocking for three days now maybe oh his tie was too long uh yes his tie was way too long and uh like he tied it so long that you know like the other tie goes into that little fabric bridge thing.

It didn't reach. So he put some scotch tape to hold it in place while his tie dangled lower than his dick. I have that problem too. I don't think I'm some freak of nature. There's millions of people taller than me. But when I tie a tie, it's – I have to get it just right to get it. Barely.

There's a real fine margin between getting the tie. Because I was always taught that the tip of your tie should be right in the middle of your belt buckle. I don't know if that's correct or not, but that's what I learned. And that thing should tuck in there. And that's a real sweet spot. And I can't tie a tie. So it makes it hard. I can't tie a tie. Just keep rejecting. Dad, do it again. I can't tie a tie, so it makes it hard. I can't tie a tie.

Just keep rejecting. Dad, do it again. I can't tie a tie for shit. I really can't. It just didn't seem like a skill that I needed because once they were all tied, I would just loosen them and put them on a hanger and just leave them tied because I want a double Windsor knot. I want this big fat knot at the top.

That's what I want. I don't want the standard dad tie thing that's a little bigger on the right than the left. It's a little tilted, a little twisted. I think that looks professional. I don't think it looks good. I don't like the big giant tie knots.

I don't like huge. I like thin ties. They look really good. They're not always in fashion, but I always like them. Yeah, I always think they look good.. When I do wear ties, I like the thinner ones. Yeah, I always think they look good. They make your shoulders look broader. They make you look like you're in better shape. I feel like they're a thinner person's tie, too.

I think you have to be in better shape to wear that thin tie. You need to have... If you've got any belly at all, I think a thin tie will really accentuate it and make you look not good. If you've got man boobs at all, that think a thin tie will really accentuate it and make you look not good. If you've got man boobs at all, that thin tie right in the middle isn't going to look good. Yeah, you get that seatbelt effect with your tits. Sure. Oh, that's

yeah. And not the good kind. Yeah. Not the kind with women. Yeah. I like ties. But yeah, I've noticed Trump's tie is very long. I would never choose to wear a tie. I would never get up and be like, I want to dress up for fun. I only dress like that if I have to. I hate wearing a tie I would never get up and be like I want to dress up for fun I only dress like that if I have to

I hate wearing a tie Trump's taken so much mocking He's obviously aware of it I wonder if he starts fixing the problem I just want to see him go up to Pence And be like Pence how do you tie this thing You know Switch

And now Pence is like hanging below his crotch like pence is walking and you look from behind and you can see it like through the gap he could just order his whole staff to wear ties like he does everybody's time needs to be six to eight inches longer than it is right now look at this model yourself after this profession makes you feel like a retard so quickly at least for me sometimes we're all like get it there and be like alright this is the correct length that looks about right

and then you tie it and then you like what this is like I'm ending at my sternum what the fuck I look like a goober alright do it again and then I do it again and I'm like pretty much holding it the exact same spot but in my brain I'm like yeah that looks good again

tie it again fuck it up like when we were doing that thing in LA I couldn't tie my tie so there's a wardrobe girl who's there to tie the tie and she's gotta get real close to tie my tie I was like ah this is great this is great this is almost better than that girl who like rubs the lotion on your face

when it's sunny out like this is great having someone tie your better than that girl who rubs the lotion on your face when it's sunny out. This is great having someone tie your own tie. I would definitely, given the option, I want someone else tying my tie over me every time. Because I feel like it's going to look more straight. Because they'll notice all the little things. They're standing in front of you. If they're able to do it backwards, especially. If they're looking at you.

Yeah, they're pros then. I tie my own tie so I get it just the right length I want, but I do that knot that Kyle does. I feel the same way about the knot that Kyle does, but it's the only one I know. So that's what I end up with. Have you ever tried to use one of the YouTube videos that teach you how? No, you're overestimating how much I love and concern.

They are enraging. Oh, really? And some guys will try to. There's a guy whose whole channel is tie and ties, and this guy's a master. He ties all these fancy ones. And, of course And some guys will try to. There's a guy whose whole channel is tying ties. And this guy's a master. He ties all these fancy ones. And, of course, I think you're like me. That whole thing of, like, you start looking at, like, a gun.

And it's like, oh, shit. Well, this one's got a special Picatinny rail. And, like, oh, well, the next version is the Evo model with the collapsible stock that's swinging around. And by the time you. But. Oh, shit. What was I talking about? What was I talking about?

Tying the ties. Probably you're headed towards better knots. He ties these elaborate knots that look like... I don't even know how to describe it. It looks like... Knots around knots. You've got a regular tie knot

with like... You got your tie a tie as a pet. And it just surrounds it and it turns into bulkier knots and i bought a uh a bow tie a while back thinking it would be funny to wear and i have never stepped foot out of the house because i've put it on before and been like you look like an asshole like you you just look like a goober like who wears this unless they're trying to get some sort of like wow what a guy attention so i did not yeah i don't an eldridge knot that looks pretty nice i sat in a hotel room one night for about an hour and 20 minutes trying to tie an eldridge knot and then i realized that wasn't happening

double windsor and i spent another 30 minutes before I literally screamed and like threw the thing and it was a red face and because like these videos will even go to the next level of putting a mirror in place so that you can do it the correct way because if they're just pointing the camera at you then you got to be like all right now reverse that and do it this way but if they put a mirror there it's all the same hand motions even then I don't know why I couldn't do it because like when we were doing our survival trip, especially the first one, I was over here memorizing all these hitch knots and these knots that would lock in place and stuff.

And little knots like that are easy when it's right in front of me and I can see it. But something about this thing that I can't even see and sort of looking at the video, I failed so hard. I don't need that skill. Someone else will do that. Someone else will. I'm really invested in this knot. He's still tying it on the screen.

It's beautiful. It's fucking beautiful. And I feel like, I don't know about the gold tie, but I'm imagining like a red tie that wasn't just flat red. Maybe it was like a burgundy slash black that was kind of changed colors. If you look at it at different angles, then those layers would really look nice. I don't know.

I dig that knot. And I feel like if you got that knot, you know, if you go to a job interview, the guy with that knot is going to get remembered, right? Yeah. I don't know. Is this the Yeezys of knots where, like, kind of you're going overboard and everyone else is like, dude, like, you're trying too hard? No, I don't think so, because it doesn't cost more.

It's not like you bought a $10,000 tie. You're just tying a fancy knot, whereas those Yeezys are just clear, like, waste of money, like, incarnate, right? $2,000 sneakers that are no better made than $200 sneakers for sure. So it looks like he ties this thing so much that the other half of the tie like just gets all used up. You need an extra long tie probably. Who fucking knows? I think oh he just tucks it under the neckline.

He ties the crazy tie and it ends up and he just folds his collar over it. Oh yeah yeah. The end is just tucked in. I remember now. I haven't seen the video in a couple years I guess. I remember. I think maybe I was watching this video in lead up to uh joe's wedding i was like ah yeah that'd be cool and you may have tied my tie for that i think you did did my best i'm sure i appreciate it hey oh better than what i was gonna do like square knot look like i'm being being led around everywhere like a fucking POW. You did a marvelous job.

Well, thank you. I like Joe's wedding. I like Joe's wedding, too. It was cool. It was funny to talk to him the other day and have him tell us about his brother getting silently removed by the father so no shit went down. Apparently, Dad's a ninja. Yeah, his brother's a character. I didn't want to tell any of Danny's stories because they're his stories,

but he's a rough customer. He's the kind of guy that might whoop your ass in the street and might do a real good job of doing it. Not the kind of whooping where you go home like, man, we shouldn't have fucked with that guy. The kind where you're in the ER like, we shouldn't have fucked with that guy. Yeah.

Will you scratch my nose? Yeah. Danny is a tough customer and occasionally proves it and that's i'm very polite to danny yeah the same like upbringing that turned joe lozon into a fucking cage fighter world renowned made danny a similarly talented individual and it's uh it's something to behold he's a bigger guy too i think yeah he is bigger than he has a rougher cut to 155 um and dandy likes me but i'm always like like i don't know how deep that likes go like one one withdrawal from the emotional bank account i might be in the negative i don't know you know so so he sees me he's happy he's always trying to you know hook me

up with a drink or something but uh yeah all i I have to do is step on his foot or something, and I worry that going to the ER. You mentioned some UFC fighter you watched on television. Yeah. He's like, that's my bro. That's my best friend. That's my best friend in the world. Let me tell you something you don't know about him.

He's been treated by the UFC like a piece of trash. You're like, whoa, I just opened a wound here. I need to withdraw carefully right now. You don't know. You don't even know. I have to educate you. I hope that doesn't involve any physical education. I have a topic.

Sergeant. Go on. NYPD Sergeant guilty of raping 13-year-old, what could it be? Girl. NYPD sergeant guilty of raping 13 year old what could it be girl yes I had to open the link so yeah

apparently an NYPD police sergeant raped and then sexually abused his girlfriend's 13 year old daughter and it brings the whole like rule set for police thing into play here that whenever he would come in the room she would face the other way and gyrate in a in a sexual manner it sounds like she was she was chained to the bed though oh no no i'm still

reading the monkey story okay continue oh oh me too let me switch over all right so there was enough did you see the this there was a cop killer in i think it was florida but i'm not positive about that and uh he killed this female police officer a few days later the police catch this guy and uh he comes out of the the building hands up the guy had a gun throws the gun on the ground had extended magazine they made a really big deal out of the fact, hands up. The guy had a gun. Throws the gun on the ground. Had extended magazine. They made a really big deal out of the fact that this gun, like, could have shot all these bullets had he not thrown it on the ground. He lays on the ground, like, you know, sprayed out.

And the police come up to him and kick the shit out of him. Right? They come up to him. And there's helicopter footage over it. Like, There's a helicopter watching them apprehend him. I bet I could... Let me try and find it in a second. And the cops come up to him with their guns pointed right at him. And then they kick him in the face, and they beat the fuck out of him.

And he spent the next couple days in the ER. And I'm thinking to myself, like, where are we? Oh, by the way, the helicopter? like, they're trained on this guy, the whole scene as it goes down. They catch the policeman, kick him in the face while he's laying down, like, belly to ground. And then, for some reason, I don't know, squirrel, the police helicopter points at the trees. Oh, the traffic cop just spotted a seagull in that oak over there. That's a rare seagull, isn't it, Ben?

Yes, yes. You see its banded leg? Oh, no! No! It appears to just be an entire flock of rare seagulls, it appears to be. Yeah, that's shitty, man. The problem with that is the next guy who sees that is going to be yeah that's the problem with that is

the next guy who sees that is going to be like they're not taking me alive I saw what they did to that last guy he threw his gun down like I'm going to fucking go out shooting you can't do that especially when the goddamn helicopter is in the air right like maybe get him downtown and rough him up a little bit if he killed your best friend

I have a hard time judging that but I don't want to see it in my police force, but I might understand it at the very least. It might make sense to me. But when you walk up to him and kick the guy in the face and whip his ass in the street when he's given up and there's news and the public and all of the officers out there and all these cameras rolling, you don't want that because of what I just said. Someone's watching that and going, they're not taking me alive like emotionally you're like i empathize i understand that their friend died

like they're upset about it but there's no excuse like whether it's there back in the precinct anywhere like no excuse for that like that's like you can't you're right like i that's the best response you said right away was the next person who does that is going to be like, ah, I'm going to go out with a bang because I don't want to get my ass beat to death on the pavement and then spend time in the ER and then go to prison. Yeah. It's just not good. Yeah, you hear that so much coming from people. They're like – they run from the police or they get in a standoff with the police. they get in a standoff with police and when you hear what they actually say if it can be believed of course you know we we usually don't lend very much credence to the the words of a man with a

gun in a building who won't come out we don't usually ignore him as a nuts nut but they usually say they're afraid of the police are they gonna what are they gonna do to me were they gonna kill me you know when they're like negotiating they're like they're always afraid of what the police are gonna do when they lay hands on them and then that should be a thing it should should be like no matter what you've done, we're going to take you professionally. And if we've got a hog tie, you're kicking and screaming, pepper spray, we'll kill you to take you. That's one thing. But if you're giving up, if you're compliant.

I have a slightly different opinion, but I want to watch the footage first. So I linked it to you. It should take you right to like 128 maybe. Nighttime. They're using forward looking. I'm on pause and ready to like 128 maybe. Nighttime. They're using forward looking in. I'm on pause and ready to go. Okay.

So before it starts, what you're going to see, I cut out a lot of footage, but this guy has like belly crawled from the front port to the middle of his front yard. You can kind of see that he's already in the middle of the yard. And he's going to belly crawl over to about the sidewalk while there are, I'm going to estimate, like 20 police all there pointing guns at him. So this guy is completely submissive. Oh, I'm sorry. Ready, set, play.

So you see him belly crawling out to the sidewalk? Yeah. What's interesting is he's leaving a heat trail from his crawling in the grass. cool so the police guns pointed at him are gonna come in and as they first approach him the footage i saw was like cropped and zoomed in uh they start kicking him in the face and they start beating the fuck out of him and the cameras like like like the dog from up you know squirrel and it's like they dart off in some other direction. So here he is. He's belly crawled all the way across his yard, out into the

middle. There's a bunch of police. There's a dog going crazy wanting to kill him. And the cops are going to start beating the fuck out of him right here. They kicked him in the head already. They kicked him in the head again. Oh, squirrel! Wait, there appears to be a disturbance in the trees yeah there could be a third perhaps fourth shooter and then they zoom

all the way out so you can't see any that's a police helicopter yep yep and uh and so there's a real kind of like thin blue line thing going on here where they decided not to get this guy. And I thought about this a bunch because this is like two weeks old. So, look, I'm with you. I don't like it. Right. I don't enjoy it, but I do cut them a certain amount of slack. This is the worst person.

Right. This person killed. Allegedly. Well, all right. You're're right but he's guilty um you know in this case anyway it seems like they got the right guy i don't even know if he's denying it or that's what they said about oj they were all wrong about that what if they'd beaten oj in the street like this so uh um anyway this is the worst like they it killed i think before he killed the cop he killed like a

mom and a baby or something like that and then the cop was trying to apprehend him they killed the cop um then that makes the police very angry and they chased him and they beat him oh i'm sorry maybe i'm thinking of a different scenario did the female i think i heard something about did the female cop die in a car accident while chasing him? Oh, I don't think so. I think that's a thing that did happen a few weeks ago. I don't know if it's this same story. I think that's what happened, though. I could be wrong, though.

I don't know. Or maybe what it was is he killed a police officer and then another was injured in a crash or something like that. Because there was a nasty story like that a few weeks ago I read about. In any case, I just don't like them beating this guy in the street because he's an American citizen and he's got all the same rights that we do and they're taking this guy's rights away right here. We're watching it happen and we should put ourselves in his shoes. You know, like not the shoes of a fucking murderer, not the shoes of a maniac, but just

of another American citizen who may or may not have done something bad. I don't know. I don't like that. Yeah, I don't like it at all. I said he killed his girlfriend and the baby. He actually killed his pregnant girlfriend. And then I think I thought he shot the cop. I'm scanning now trying to figure it out quickly.

I'm scanning now trying to figure it out quickly. It says he's accused of killing an Orlando police officer who tried to arrest him. Sounds like he killed her then. Okay. Yeah. And so like I just have a hard time shedding a tear for this guy. And where I was headed with this, and I brought up the other thing where the 13 year old who got raped and such it's like on one hand i give police like a little bit of leeway because they're in the battle and in the same way that i give soldiers like sometimes a

little bit of leeway for making mistakes at war you know you accidentally kill a civilian things are chaotic like i don't want to hold you up for murder in the same way that I would someone in Raleigh who accidentally kills a civilian. But on the other hand, when a cop betrays trust in a special way, maybe he's sexually assaulting to get out of speeding tickets or something, then I feel like they should be nailed even worse than the general public. Like they belong on the two extremes of the spectrum in my head somehow. Like he's worse than a normal pedophile. He's a cop pedophile.

Yeah, because it's like you utilized that special authority and power to further your perversion there. Yeah, and trust where you know that that little boy that little girl whatever is going to be more likely to come with you because they see a cop and they think okay this person wouldn't hurt me you know they would you're sabotaging like a whole child's life like that's yeah there's a special trust and responsibility that goes with it and that trust gets them out of speeding tickets and it gets them double fucked when they rape kids and that was my topic i'm fine with that yeah all right you look at that

look at that time stamp it people put this in the thing someone was brought up and everybody went you know what yeah that's fair yeah i think they should punish the people who have the most power in that situation when they abuse it yeah okay all right it's fair but um oh i have a oh do you have another one i am well tell me what you got because mine can wait it's a tinder conversation yeah let's go like those all right so um here i i in in my head i'm framing it in the am I an asshole, because I think that my opinion on this is atypical. So it starts off, the guy says, yeah, I'm busy. The girl says, yeah, I'm busy. The guy asks, hot date? Well, message me whenever.

And she says, actually, yeah, good guess. With another guy? No, girl. Yes, a guy, LOL. Okay, so what the fuck? I'm not getting a try now or what? And she's like, what? I thought we were meeting up on Saturday.

He goes, why would you go on a date on Saturday if you're going to go on a date tonight? And she just gets confused. Like, I'm not into the whole talking to more than one person at a time thing. So have fun. You date tonight. Good luck. She wrote, you matched on Tinder. You think you're the only person I matched with?

I'm not a huge fan of your attitude. Maybe Saturday's not a good idea. So now, who is the asshole on this thing? Him. Well, nobody's necessarily an asshole, but his thought process is crazy. That's just not how dating has ever worked. I've never used Tinder, but I don't think that's what Tinder is. Take Tinder out of the equation.

Take Tinder out of the equation. If it's just a girl you met at the bar last week and you got her number and you're going to meet up on Saturday, if you text her now, she might be on a date with someone else because she is dating people. She didn't just find you. We're not in Saudi Arabia. She didn't say, yes, I'll we're not in Saudi Arabia she didn't say yes I'll meet you Saturday and every Saturday from been on forever like to be honest that's how I dated right and and I swear even me of today and I know I

dated a long time ago but uh and I wasn't an asshole about it or anything but I remember like early on with Jackie I think it might have been first date or something I was like you know we're gonna try this on to see if it fits we're not gonna see other people while we sort this out. And she's like, yeah, yeah. Like we were on the same page with that. And never in high school or college or whatever did I like really date two people at once or did my girl. Like that was how I worked.

And I kind of, like, to me, you said let's take Tinder out of the equation. To me, Tinder's essential to the equation because it's an extra special sort of, like, disconnected meeting. Like, this is an internet app that paired us up. It's really not a commitment. It makes his case even weaker than it is.

It does. Yeah. But I would, I swear, like maybe by the time we actually met, I feel like I'd want the end of that date to square away whether or not we're seeing other people. And I think I'm weird that way. I think of it as it's never established that you're not seeing other people unless you establish that of like now we're exclusive like it's just us because this like like both of like the guy is definitely the asshole in this one the who was saying it because it's like like all if even if that's what he thinks all he had to do is say like oh that's all right i'm i'm more into exclusivity i'm more into being an exclusive based on his spelling he probably doesn't know what that word

means and so no wonder he didn't use it. But that's all he had to say. But instead, he was just bitchy to her for no reason. And it's like, dude, you are on Tinder at the end of the day. Do you really think that this girl – it's a girl on Tinder, you jackass. You don't think that she's gotten ten opportunities to get laid since you started typing that first text? It's nothing but, yeah, I want to fuck you. Yeah, I want to fuck you. Yeah, I want to fuck you.

Of course I want to fuck you. but yeah i want to fuck you yeah i want to fuck you yeah i want to fuck you let me just pitch this like is it possible that when you say hot date question mark that you're not probing for the real answer that like maybe that's just that's a thing that people say to someone at the office or to just you know a brother to be snarky yeah like it you know because there's a there's an argument that says hey don't ask questions you don't want answers to but i don't know that he really did that when he said hot date maybe he did maybe he was trying to probe a touch i think he did because of the way he followed up if he had said hot date and she said actually yes lol good guess he would have been like ha don't have too much fun see you saturday or whatever instead of

hot date actually yeah aha you've fallen into my trap and now i know your ruse you a witch you whore and he calls her a whore at the end which is not a great way to to engage on on tinder i wouldn't think not gonna catch a lot more flies with honey i'm with you but what if you are wired like me and you know he hasn't even met her yet so so i don't think he has any any rights to possession you know but uh he's e-harmony not tinder it's not even possession though it's more like like possession i think of more as like when you're in a relationship like that girl can be like that is my boyfriend he is not fucking anyone else. That guy can go, nobody better be fucking my girlfriend. But this, not at all. What if you want that from first date?

Wait until the first date to impose it. I'm with you. He has no right to get upset on this girl he hasn't met yet. Her level of commitment is swiping right. He's getting hypothetically upset about what could happen and how she may live her life yeah what he should say is me too i i hope they both don't work out and saturday we get to connect for reals have fun you dropped that out there her mind is blown ah and she's gotta know what he's doing not only is this guy not able to get pussy but he can't spell very well either which i look down on strongly if you do what kyle said right there

which is brilliant response you're also putting in her head an available contingency plan for that date she's going at night so she's going to be on that date that date night that night thinking like this you know i guess this really isn't working out maybe the you know that saturday one's going to be better you know this this isn't going that great that other guy though seemed pretty like she's is going to be better. This isn't going that great. That other guy, though, seemed pretty good. She's already going to be thinking about you in the middle of it. My observation is every time I have a girlfriend, like that's been back in the day when I dated,

it'd be like dry spell, dry spell, dry spell. Get a girlfriend. Suddenly, I'm sexy as fuck. Now that I'm off the market, everyone thinks I'm hot. And the opposite would happen there'd be girls throw themselves at me and i'm like yeah they date someone else oh i'm so stupid you know i never realized how hot she was until she was unavailable and uh yeah that's the thing but so this guy's an asshole i'm with you on that i i just i wonder like how soon can you

say we're exclusive? You can't. It depends on the person. So I feel like if that's what your aim is, and let's say the first date goes really well, in your opinion, and you feel like she is going to be into that too, you can maybe throw it out there.

Like, hey, I thought that went really well. I'd like to see you again next week, but I got to ask and maybe throw throw this out there i hope this doesn't weird you out or make me seem like i'm too possessive or one of those nuts that gets crazy and red-faced and screams but i like to have an exclusive situation i know we just met hey i'm not looking to marry you or anything but just just for your information i'm not going to be looking for anyone else on tinder between now and next thursday when we go to the movies. I feel kind of weird if you were on a date with another guy tomorrow night. Let's at least give it until next Thursday. How's that sound?

You can sell that shit if you fucking make it sound like it's worth buying, but if you come in there calling people whores, it doesn't work. I was just wondering if Woody-style dating even worked in 2017. Yeah, it totally works in 2017. You just don't get as much sex.

Yeah. Or you get as much sex from fewer people. You don't get to fuck as many people. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like you can get just as much sex. It just will be fewer people. Ah, they wear out after a while. That's not true, actually. That's a fact. That's true.

I've read that. They don't. No, it's true. Kyle told me. I flipped the odometer at this point, and it's still going. I don't know why I feel like he's saying that. That is a very funny way to put it. It still runs like new. So it was just one day in mid-pump. You look down, and you're like, Mike, what?

That was a brand new pussy. Holy shit! And we're back to brand new! You can go get those vaginal rejuvenation surgeries where they go and they tighten things up and I imagine that is like going to a shady used car dealership

where they put the drill in there and roll back the miles. Bachelor's surgery is for people that have had babies, right? Sure. See, that's one of the reasons you might want to have it. Or maybe you just want a tighter vagina. Independent of babies. Huh. Yeah.

It is a great curiosity of mine. Not that I'm going to satisfy. But Jackie's only had C-sections, so she is stock. She's never pushed a baby out there. And I wonder what the difference is. I wonder what the difference is. I'll share this. I don't know if I should share this, but here we go.

Jackie was on vacation. We would go on vacation with like another family, right? You know, we're like childhood friends or whatever. And oh my God, I'm sharing this. She had to borrow a tampon from someone who had had a bunch of kids naturally. And she's like, holy smokes. And the woman said, yeah, well, well you know you get three or four kids and you know that's when you buy these big ones and and uh so that's like all i know on the topic like i haven't like been with that's what i know so i'm like ah like what does

change down there how so it's just like Gollum walking around the ship like knees raised like a football player I think she just had to adjust you know I don't know I could ask her but uh let's get her on the show that's all right yeah probably get a good call but um but yeah and I and these things are not discussed in polite society, but here on PKA perhaps. And it's not a lot of opportunity to gather information on this. That's something that you realize. I wrote a thesis on this about two years ago. I don't know.

There are definitely different sizes of vaginas out there, but um you know more or less equally satisfying in one way or another and there's a myriad of positions to get in to to change the tightness or or um looseness if you will of a vagina you know if you if she's like facing you on her back and you like take her one leg and like fold it over the other and like make her cross like cross her legs like ladylike like and then you just keep crossing the legs until they're almost like a T. Like you've got a very tight thing going on there. There should be more than that in Brazilian jiu-jitsu. Yeah.

They put her in half guard. You get her cradle. Criss-cross applesauce, and if she doesn't tap, then you get a real tight jump. You put her in a kimura, and that's going to open things up a lot. Trust me. So there's definitely that. But I don't know.

I've been with a really tiny girl before who was like maybe 5'1 or something like that. And it was like, oh, my God. Like this may not work. Like we may not be physically compatible. But I've also been with like a 40 – I don't know, early 40s like lady who had a couple of kids and had these giant fake titties. And there was definitely a difference there, but it was still good times. There was no

disappointment. It was like, oh, this is a different pussy. This one does different stuff. It's like a cheeseburger or a pizza or something where it's like, yeah, there's something that's really, really good that you're going to think back on, but you never get a burger at some pub and have to send it back because it's just unpalatable like it's

always good i've never always been fine it's all pink on the inside if you order a medium i have never sent pussy back to the chef not once ever well kyle likes pussy more than taco bell i do like pussy more than the same for him that's that's a date one for his tinder gals um but but but yeah there's definitely a noticeable difference but whether or not it's a a a plus or a minus is definitely up for debate because i'm sure that some people are like yeah my wife's pussy is huge we do all kinds of freaky shit. I can fist her. I can put these... They make those alien toys we looked at that look like a weird alien penis.

The dragon thing. And they put eggs in you. They lay eggs inside of your pussy. I looked at those and it was awful. And then she has to give birth to the alien eggs after the dildo impregnates her. Maybe you're into that. Your wife's laying these big, slimy, green ostrich-sized eggs while you hit her with a hitachi and she's just like

those ball guns that pump where you go like and then you go and you try and collect it and you put them all in there and you're like god damn it there's space at the top and i don't know where any of the balls went i guess i just don't have ammo i think that's what that thing is every once in a while where you're like god damn it there's space at the top and i don't know where any of the balls went i guess i just don't have ammo honey that thing every once in a while where you're like there's five eggs and six eggs and there's there's another egg in there but she lays an egg all right we lost one they just finished that into her that has to be something that the woman in the relationship introduces because i can't imagine any woman out there bringing toys into the bedroom. If you mention it to her and then she's like, oh, she's got an image in her head of vibrators or whatever.

Like standard shit. And then you bring in, like, this is my egg hatchery. It's actually a version from StarCraft 2. StarCraft 2's versionCraft 2 Zerg version. And I'm going to use this to put six eggs up inside. No, no, come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. The door's locked. You can try.

Oh, where's the egg? I'll yell too. I'll yell too. He's trying to guess the combination. He's trying to guess it. Help! Help! I can't get out. See, nobody can hear you. Now we're going to do the exit. We can do it now.

We can do it later. You know? No, come back. You're going to want to put that bib on. Or there's going to be a mess. I'm going to pump someone's car. It's not going to work. Yeah.

I have a smock for you. Creep all over the bed. Zerglings come out of your asshole. Let's go, baby. But no, just to top off the vagina thing, like, I've definitely experienced, like, crazy tight

vaginas where it was, like, an effort to get going and even start the sex, but I've also had some that was like, oh, you've had a few kids. I don't care at all. This feels amazing, too. So that's never been, like, I suppose tighter is better in the end, I guess. I don't know you don't have as many options with titer let's keep a medium pussy one that's one that's ready for some

some work right you know it's it's not gonna get up at the crack of dawn and like work till 10 a.m to take a nap like this this pussy's ready to go to work and get the job but also not a pussy that's that's that's been like conan the barbarianbarian, like pushing a mill for their entire lives, just walking in a circle. You don't want like a Snuggie of a pussy that's just enveloping your whole, like you're sinking in. But yeah. Yeah.

Well, I mean, we should probably keep it kind of even. Like we've been making crude jokes and stuff. I feel like we should bring up... About what you said? Topics. We need topics like this with a guest. This is the kind of show that we do with no guest all the time.

I really want to bring on... Comfortable. That's what we talk about, I think. I think... I'm having a fun time with this. I feel like we just need to get a good... I don't know. I'm having a fun time with this And I feel like we just need to get Like a good I don't know I'm trying to think of a guest who wouldn't be

A porn star? No the opposite Almost like someone who doesn't know the scoop Headed into PKA Oh someone to educate about like the weird Like dildos That lay eggs in you and such Maybe they're open minded and they try to keep up But we just keep reaching deeper depths uh yeah like like i don't know would that happen if we had on um like philly d

would that happen if we had on you need someone who both has nothing to lose and is a bit innocent because philly will you know he's a professional he'll be like oh i ain't talking about that guys i don't know anything about that we should get like like he won't be like, I ain't talking about that, guys. I don't know anything about that. He won't be a spoiled sport. He won't be like, I don't want to talk about that. That's a little gross. Why are we talking about that? He won't do that, but he also won't engage and admit to being an alien

or seed layer. I listen to his podcast every week. His moniker name is Dick Masterson. He was known for do you know who that is i've heard it before he kind of got some fame being like the original troll like a hardcore troll where like in 2005 or something he went on uh dr phil and a bunch of talk shows as like a complete character of of like what people what an actual chauvinist is. Like he wrote a book.

I own the book. Like it's hilarious. It's obviously satire. It's just called men are better than women. And it's a whole book of like clearly comedy, but it's the kind of comedy that upsets people, but it's hysterical. Because there's a little truth in it.

Yeah. Yeah. But his book is great, but he would be an awesome guy to try and get. I agree. I have also seen him on the Dr. Phil thing, and the crowd is giving him shit. If you haven't looked at Dick Masterson, Dr. Phil, you should. It's really funny stuff.

No, I agree with you, Woody. It would be fun to, I don't know. Like a random pro gamer or something. I want someone who's religious. This breaks out. Oh, you want to go the other way. You want to go hard at him. I want to educate someone.

I want someone who's open-minded who isn't going to call me the devil necessarily. Oh, that would be fun too. Milo would be fun with this. I talked to Milo about how he cleaned his asshole out for those gay men he fucks. You couldn't make him feel uncomfortable. He was like, hey, a little preparation. It's not what I was talking about. But I feel like if we went into this, he would be one of the hosts.

Both feet. Jump right in. Yeah, he's got no problem with that. I'd like to have him again. I would too. I don't know if we can get him. You know what he's doing right now? Probably talking about Berkeley or something.

He's on Tucker Carlson's show. He's on fucking Fox News right now. Well, I hope he respects how much pka has helped him a huge boost huge helped him bigly yes yeah he's big league today with harley davidson that was that was funny um i liked his harley davidson little thing did you see it did you catch it trump met with the the the higher ups of harley they rode their harleys to the white house wearing leather jackets like all the ceos and such and he's like out there with them looking at their bikes like in front of them that was i liked that and he's like yeah that's a nice bike and he's talking about it and they get in the boardroom or whatever and he's like ah

there's just something about the sound of that harley and you know that's music to the harley guys ears yeah yeah there is something about the sound of a harley right yeah that's music to the Harley guys ears. Yeah. Yeah. There is something about the sound of a Harley, right? Yeah. That's American power. Of course there is. They got, they got a very, very special harmonic they're going for there. That's a, that's a, that noise is patent pending. And he brought up, you know, Reagan putting the tariffs on the fucking Japs back in the

day to keep the Hondas and Kawasaki's from running Harley out of business, which is a great thing for him to be throwing out there right now. If you're trying to like make some conservatives and maybe some independents look and look at you as more of a reasonable human being. There's a thing happening right now. The motorcycle community is upset about, and I'm not going to mess it up, but it's like all European motorcycles that have less than like 500 CC are

getting a ridiculously high tariff, or at least that's the what's on the table but it's bundled into some larger like agriculture bill and and i don't know why like these motorcycles are impacted like they are if i can find it quickly yeah i don't know um but i don't know i like watching trump do his meetings when he's got everybody in that boardroom because there's so many people in there who are just terrified to do anything but agree. He'll ask them a question across the... He'll be like, you agree with me, don't you?

And the guy's like, uh-huh. Absolutely. You know what I'm talking about, right, Carl? Carl's like, uh-huh. Absolutely, Mr. Trump. I know exactly what you're talking about. Like, nobody wants to disagree. Here it is. So it's a tariff to exclude, like, different meats, guts, bladders, stomachs of animals, whole pieces and thereof, fresh chilled, frozen,

salted in brine, dried or smoked, and low CC motorcycles. Like, I'm like, I don't know why this is happening. That's a very niche group of things. I feel like there's one Saudi billionaire whose entire net worth is made up of nothing but brined meats and low-powered motorcycles. And they're really targeting him with this. Yeah, right? Oh, my brined meat and sausage empire slash Kawasaki motor cartel is over. It only hurts European motorcycles.

So like KTM, BMW, and whatever. And it's from 51cc to 500cc. The smaller end. I've looked. I've googled. I can't find the justification. I think the only way that you're going to track down why this is, is you're going to go back

to find who proposed this thing. Like whose baby is this? And it's going to be some to find who proposed this thing like whose baby is this and it's going to be some goddamn senator who's like they there's some fucking japanese guy with a porno of him fucking three kids or something he's like oh you make the european motorcycle like it's something like that and then it's got to be somebody's strings are getting pulled whenever you see like brined meats and motorcycles on the same bill, that's a lot of pork. That's just pork trying to get, you know,

Senator McConnell and Senator Phillips to get on board with the same shit because one of them's got an interest in the brined meat imports and one of them's got an interest in opposing European motorcycle imports. The core of the whole thing has to do with the U.S-B trade dispute with the European Union

and then motorcycles. Interesting. Maybe those are big import items from Eastern Europe to the United States. I mean, they don't have a lot, right? We always talk about what Russia has and they mock that. They're like, yeah, we need machine guns or oil. It's like, what's Slovenia making anyway?

I bet it's brined meats and underpowered motorcycles. Somebody has to squat in all those tracksuits. Those tracksuits. That meme is on the rise. It's on the rise for a good reason, because it is true. Or at least it was in all of these, like, 90s and early 2000s pictures of Russia that I'm sure we're looking at. And Czech Republic.

And Czech Republic, all of those Eastern Europeans. Let me do an ad read here. From legendary game designer, John Van... Alright, let's do one that I can pronounce right off the bat. This episode of Painkiller Already is sponsored by our friends over at Squarespace.

Whether you need a domain, website, or online store, make your next move with Squarespace. With easy-to-use tools, you can create a beautiful website with Squarespace's all-in-one platform. There's nothing to install, patch, or upgrade ever. You can create a beautiful website or online store with an award-winning template. Squarespace's award-winning templates

are the most beautiful way to present your ideas online. Squarespace also offers a unique domain experience that's fully transparent and simple to set up. They're trusted by millions of people and some of the most respected brands in the world. Squarespace is used by a wide range of individuals, creatives and people, musicians, designers, artists, restaurants, and more. Everybody needs their own corner of the internet today.

So get started and start your free trial today at squarespace.com slash pka to get 10% off your first purchase. That's squarespace.com slash pka. Begin the next move in your career today with Squarespace. If you need a website, this is definitely the one-stop shop. Tell anybody you know that's

about to pay some jackass a ton of money to make them a website, go to Squarespace. And better website, go to Squarespace. And better yet, go to squarespace.com slash pka to get 10% off your first purchase. Do that. Check them out. Squarespace. Build it beautiful and at a reasonable cost.

Let me tell you. I'm very excited about listening to Kyle's pronunciation on this. Yes, what could it be? From legendary game designer John Van Kanagan, creator of the Heroes of Might and Magic series, comes

Creature Quest, an adventurous RPG that brings a new level of depth and strategy to mobile games. Creature Quest is an innovative blend of collectible RPG and strategy. All roads lead to adventure as players embark on quests to explore new realms while encountering a variety of creatures and obstacles along the way, with over 500 creatures wielding powerful abilities to collect and upgrade,

and addicting battles with lots of treasure to discover. Players will constantly yearn for just one more battle. Creature Quest also boasts a unique PvP mode that allows players to use their own creature collection to build their own dungeons and challenge other players for great rewards, in addition to guilds, chats, and much more. From fun and unique stories in each quest to hundreds of adventure-seeking creatures with upgradable abilities to strategic, fast-moving battles, Creature Quest will appeal to anyone who loves role-playing, collectible, strategy, or fantasy games. Available on the App Store, Google Play, and at Amazon.

Download Creature Quest for free today and be a part of the best turn-based collectible RPG. Your quest for adventure is paved with adventure. Your quest for creatures is paved with adventure. Quest on. So there you go. Check them out out that's a new mobile game uh

it's a uh nice blend of collectible rpg and strategy creature quest that's cool it sounds like it'll be awesome out we uh taylor wants to teach me how to play magic the gathering and i i have no excuse to to dodge. He's bringing that with him. Taylor and I are going to hang out with Kitty in Colorado, and there's going to be a bit of downtime, so apparently I'm going to learn to play some fucking magic. Oh, you're going to learn more than just to play. Man, I've been watching.

I have no qualms whatsoever peer-pressuring people into playing magic until after the point where they've made it visual to me that they're unpleasant. I'm going to tell you right now, I'm going to like it. I'm being a downer on this, but I'm excited. I've been watching videos, and while I still don't know how to play, I get the basis of it.

I know how to move my cards around, at least at the start. I know where my kill pile or dead pile is, and I know where you get seven cards in your hand or something. Cutting eachile is, and I know where you get seven cards in your hand or something, and cutting each other's deck. I know a little bit of the decorum in the Magic the Gathering. What I don't understand is

quite exactly what you're doing with the land cards and the swamp cards and how I'll see them turn those sideways and then they're adding the mana or something. I've watched 50 games roughly, and I have no idea how to play. And they do shit like, all right, I'm going to tap the card.

And I'm like, nothing happened. Nothing happened at all. I don't know why he did that because it clearly didn't do shit. The reason that they're doing that is if you look up a card diagram, which might help you before we try playing, Kyle, it'll show you the cost of the card. And the cost of the card is done in mana.

That's just the unit of currency in the game. And that mana is produced from those land cards, which are those ones that you see at the bottom of the play area. And they can be green, like a forest, or red, like a mountain, or white, like a plains. And so can be green like a forest or red like a mountain or white like a plains and so if you have something that costs say a mountain and a swamp which is black you would need to have available one swamp and one mountain and you would tap them

tapping is the term in magic for turning meaning that you've spent those cards for the turn so you tap those two to show that you've added one of each of those colors to your spending pool, and then you use those colors to play that creature card. So when they're turning those cards horizontally, they are tapping them and utilizing the

mana that that card provides to play their creature card that requires that fuel or mana to be played, and then that creature card will have an effect on the other player's the creature card that requires that fuel or mana to be played and then that creature card will have an effect on the other players either creature card or or maybe it's a it's a defense it's like creature for example they'll put it on the field and it'll be there and it's a game of resource management so let's say i have 10 available land that i can tap and i have something that costs 10 it's a super powerful monster troll or something. And I tap

all of it and play it. Now those don't untap until the next turn. They get a turn in between when that untaps. So if their turn comes up and they go, I'm going to play this two cost, return any card on the field to its owner's hand, I'm going to return that to your hand.

And you go, well fuck, I can't play anything to stop it because I went too big too Fast and spent all my money So it's you would want to play something smaller so that you could save up for some tactics mid-turn or just to make them think That you know make them think oh I want to play this but he left for untapped and I know he has that card Like I don't want to risk it You'll like it a lot and what's cool about that? Anthology deck that Taylor has behind him is it's made for doing this i think that that that within that deck are like eight

60 card decks that are each like demonic or uh one of the different classes um elves or whatever and so it's you could play eight-handed with with your deck back there so that's pretty i had this set 200 it was like $170 or so. I considered buying one, but then I did some research and I realized that you had everything I need. I think that'll be fun. I'm down to play.

Onslaught likes this game. We saw Magic the Gathering, and I, I guess being an asshole, thought, that is a game for nerds. I pass. And Onslaught thought this is perfect. He had all the fun.

He was jumping in. He was learning. We took Taylor who was our ace and we put him up against this girl and I think he won the first game. We split games. Yeah. So I was like he's clearly way better than her and then it didn't work out. Yeah, it goes up and down.

A Magic story from maybe like six years ago now, probably longer, like right when I was getting into YouTube, I played whatever Magic was on Xbox with. I was playing a four-player with me, Hutch, Dunkus, I think. Haven't even thought about that dude in six years. I haven't talked to him in forever. And Onslaught. And some of these games go a long time, especially multiplayer.

Because you get little alliances and you go, okay, I'll team up. Does everyone have 20 points? So explain the 20-point thing. Everybody has 20 points of life. Is that correct? Everybody has 20 life. And that can be replenished and diminished, right? It can be replenished or diminished, yeah, depending on cards.

Different races do different – so like white. White is like justice and life and that kind of thing as a theme. Yeah, I want to play Demonic. That's so racist. Is black like evil and criminal and stuff? It's like different approaches to like the strategy. So if you're playing white, you can kind of guarantee that that white opponent you're playing is not going to play a card that just sucks a bunch of your life down.

It's mostly going to be boosting their own life and preventing damage to themselves. You play against a black swamp card, or this is so oversimplifying but it's trying to help you understand. It's going to be more like Tendrils of Destruction, I think, is a card where it sucks their life out

and then you get their life. Or you just all out attack them. So white is goodness, and black is what? Projects, did you say? Yeah. Black is like... I think all the coolest looking creatures are green, I think, because green's big thing is growth. They don't fuck around as much with little spell cards and counters like blue does. like they don't fuck around as much with like little spell cards and counters like blue does they're just like all right these are my creatures and i can make all of them gigantic and attack

easily with all of them all at once so green's a lot of fun especially if you're new but um yeah it's it's a ton of fun you're gonna like it i want the demonic deck that seemed fun like i definitely want that and i think there's like an angelic deck too so it's four different sets so they do dual decks every so often where they release two decks that are made to play against each other and this is a collection of the four most popular dual decks so i've got uh there's goblins versus elves oh but it's eight total right yeah it's eight total decks cool so like goblins versus elves those are cards from a ways back where when they were ridiculously powerful so if i played goblins against angelic i'd me

versus me i'd beat angelic's ass with goblins who is red and then they have demonic and angelic which is black and white um they have uh and then some like planeswalkers which are like basically generals and it's so it'd be like chandra versus garrick or whatever the fuck so like the red queen versus the green King or whatever. It's so much fun. I know people out there probably don't give a fuck and they're bored to tears. They just skipped that part. They never even heard all this.

So yeah, I'm definitely into it. I think I'll have a lot of fun playing. And like most games, Taylor's been trying to get me to play this strategy. Total War Warhammer. Total War Warhammer. i just just nailed it he's like don't don't kyle has a problem don't don't get him into that it's gonna go bad don't do it don't do it because i get sucked into these games and i want to be i want to get to like competitive level at them in two weeks and and sometimes i do sometimes i do like like i felt like with asian mythology i got really fucking good really fast because i played like i i was i remember just playing all like for

eight hours at a time and i would just start off with my build order and the first mistake and i mean a little mistake a five second mistake i'd be like whoop scrap and i'd start all over again and eight hours of that was like 50 hours of pvp it was like 100 hours of pvp maybe because i'm just i played so many so many games so many repetitions of like memorizing the early game until my early game was just solid as fuck and then it was just a little luck and i can i can beat you so i i'm not gonna download that game I've watched the videos of that game it is all of the things that I love it is macro and micro

and mythology and magic and those are all of my favorite components of a game like that and the graphics are good wizards and the battles themselves like the actual fighting like when you zoom in on a lot of these games and you see the actual conflict it's just like a bunch on a lot of these games and you see the actual

conflict it's just like a bunch of guys with spears in unison being like ah yeah this is like you know if you send like a minotaur rush in with your minotaur unit like they'll all do like different shit like they've got different weapons like different axe shapes in their hands just to be clear like like you're setting up a gigantic Lord of the Rings-style epic battle where thousands of units that are in waves, and you can combine your various kinds of units based on what race you are.

You might have a bunch of skeletons and a bunch of zombies up front as meat shields, followed by some badass trolls with hammers and stuff. And you've got some sort of dragon lord who's debuffing the enemy front line while simultaneously providing um support for the morale of your front line it's very deep with the morale and shit where it's like like you'll think that like a unit is fine and bad i'm still learning and so i'll think like oh there's like

of the 60 people who are in that unit there's like 42 of them left living they're fine and i'll ignore them for a second and it'll be the cravens are fleeing the battle my lord and you'll just look and it's like them running it's like god damn it like what the fuck like how did they lose that confidence so quickly and then you look into like the little details of it and it's like oh they were fighting a fucking black orc which causes more fleeing or a biggin orc which which causes more fleeing, or a biggun orc, which is just too powerful. It scares them away. It's so much to keep track of,

and it is right up your alley. I know it is. It occupies the middle of your alley. Yeah, I've watched a few YouTube videos. I kind of want Kyle to play. Leave a comment if you want Kyle to play. Leave a comment if you would like to play leave a comment if you would like to see Kyle go down a really self destructive

route towards this game I'm bringing my gaming laptop so I can still play I'm over here like working out and like fucking doing like yeah I'm over here trying to do like box squats he's an entrepreneur exercise freak that's exactly what's going on over here

like I'm doing business stuff. Let's get two hours of workout in. I'm in there hitting heavy bags. I got power bands on my legs. Shuffling across the floor, sidestepping. Here's Taylor on my shoulder. This little Taylor devil. Don't you want to come play some games?

I got a good one. For your investment in that PC to go to waste though. That's true. From a business perspective. Mike, it looks awesome on my computer and yours would look awesome. I don't know if you could

My Vive and everything is over there in that chair. I've been playing Vive like three hours today and two or three hours yesterday I guess. I've been having a good time with that. It seems to me that playing on the Vive should count as working out. It does count as working out. I don't feel guilty when I play

the Vive. I really don't. It's not like I took time off of something productive. I feel like it's a brain workout. It's a body workout. There's some hand-eye coordination training to it. I'm in there with lots of buttons and moving physically at the same time. I'm dodging lasers.

I play that Raw Data game. That's one of my favorites. That and Brookhaven I've talked about before. But now I'm using the sword in Raw Data. So like the bad guys are shooting their lasers and I'm just like hitting them back at them. They're hitting them in the head. It's a lot of fucking fun oh you throw the sword you uh you throw the sword just right and it just through the air and it comes back like a boomerang and when you catch it there's a haptic

feedback so you feel it snap your snap back to your hand and it's like yeah fuck yeah and after a while i'm just a ninja in here just like it looked i bet if you looked at me, I look like I'm on acid, like raving. You put techno music. I'm here just spinning around and looking everywhere. Do you have two swords or one? In that game, it's one sword in your right hand, and then your left hand is like telekinesis. You charge for a second and go boom, and push them all away. You play as multiple characters in that game. One guy's got a pump shotgun that boom and push them all away. But you play as multiple characters

in that game. So one guy's got a pump shotgun that shoots grenade launchers too. And one guy has a pistol. But I definitely prefer the sword. I don't know. I dig that game a lot. And with the 1080 it looks so much better. I turned the super sampling up to 200%. It doesn't even fucking stutter.

It just takes all I can give it. I'm loving this computer. From a business perspective, it was neat to see NVIDIA come out with something that really just every year it gets like 5% faster and then doubles or whatever the hell it did. It's so fucking good.

I like that they've waited so long to put the TI out because I don't feel bad about this decision at all because they're not even talking about the 1080 TI, or at least I haven't read anything substantive. It's not coming out of NVIDIA. It's people like, oh, well, the Pascal technology will definitely move in this direction, and they'll do this and that, and there'll be this much power, and it'll use this kind of a – this mini pin connector. And I'm like, okay, that's good. When's it coming? This is all hypothetical.

You don't even know if it's coming this year. It'll probably be holiday season. It's good. When's it coming? This is all hypothetical. You don't even know if it's coming this year. It'll probably be holiday season. It's good for you. I've always had the opposite experience. Every time I buy a graphics card, mind you, I get them expensive. They're like a grand. And immediately something better comes out. Yeah, that's lame.

My monitor's done the same thing too. I'm really happy with this purchase. I was scared when I pulled the trigger on it. I was like, oh man. If next week Asus comes out with the better version of this thing that's like 4K and this size and curved and it's only like $200

more, I'm going to feel like shit. Because I'm already spending $1,300 on a monitor. But I fucking love this monitor. I did have this monitor up in my bedroom, like next to my bed, and it rotates like 280 degrees or something,

like much farther than you would think. And so I could twist it completely out of the way when I was asleep. And then when I wanted to, just by twisting it, it almost came into my lap, into the bed, and I could play Xbox on it. But I've got it back on my PC now because I'm going to play some Battlefield 1,

or at least I intended to, then I got stuck on the Vive. I feel that way about my monitor too. It's a lot like yours, except it's not curved. It's just a big, wide, flat one. The only trouble is you can't fully enjoy it if you live stream. I used to try to live stream, and it didn't fit

the 16x9 because I had it wider. Everyone felt like it was worse. It's like, no, it's better. You're getting uh i don't everyone felt like it was worse it's like no it's better you're getting more on and no one felt like it was better yeah there's a few games that don't support it which is lame um if it sticks you if it sticks a fucking 1080 screen there like like with these big black ends on it like i'm like what the fuck is this you know like give me 34 by 34 40 by 1440 support but most games have it and uh and usually when it doesn't i just i don't it's not in the room anymore but i just put that 4k monitor up

here and watch that and do it on it i like that too like i bought that me and chis both bought those 4k tv amazon tvs and they're fucking great there's not enough input lag on that thing for me not to have fun on i mean maybe a shooter i wouldn't but like strategy games like rts yeah we have a 4k tv i don't know how big it is call it 50 inches something like that and uh it's really nice like my eyesight is not as good as it was when i was 19 like you know that we've talked about on the show before but it's degraded to some i can still definitely when 4k comes on i'm like whoa like that is nice and uh right now my mother-in-law watches it all the time and she feels the same way and she's like 76 or something and she's still like this tv is great you know next level yeah like i feel like the big knock on 4k was that like i guess it's a little

better it's hard to even tell you live with it and it will become your new standard you know yeah i never had that knock like like i go back and forth i've got uh and see there's the question of like what visual resolution do i get from my 72 inch 1080 15 feet away you know visually like i might be experiencing 5k you know because of the distance i'm sitting back from those pixels like it but i i go from that to like the 4k and it was 34 40 and like man 4k looks fucking sick like water droplets like i'm just everything is just incredible i saw today um something about some new liquid crystal technology that's supposed to increase resolution by three times or something like that with then be cheaper and run cooler so i think it's gonna

be i want that 8k and uh and uh 8k resolution and then i want to watch guardians of the galaxy on it i see those charts like well at this distance you can't even tell that fuck you for one that chart doesn't pass the sniff test right that's what i call the like does this make basic common sense you know like it it came from math and when my daughter would do her math thing and you know nine minus six is 13 i'm like hmm hmm does that smell right you know and uh so when i look at those charts and they're like well at this distance all distance, all humans uniformly can't tell. This sounds like a rule of thumb chart to me.

And it certainly doesn't fit me and I'm not special. And anyway. I'm picturing you sitting at home with Hope as she's young teaching her math. And she's like, 5 plus 6 equals 14. And you're like, Hope, just look at it. It's clearly wrong. And she're like, Hope, just look at it. It's clearly wrong. And she's like, I don't see.

And you're like, that's the problem. You don't see. I'm not that kind of monster. It was usually like, what it would be is like, okay, four answers come in a row. We're doing fractions times fractions.

But the answers always seem to come out as like three, 7, 9, 2 and 11 64ths. Does that one seem suspect to you? Do you think they put that on your third grade fraction adding test? Do you think they gave you an 11 64ths?

Can you simplify that fraction? No. 11's a prime number. Oh, here's one i i learned about the sniff test when i was studying for my sats uh they they said that on the sats i don't know if it's still the same way but the math questions got progressively harder not perfectly progressively harder but the hard ones were at the end and the easy ones were at the end, and the easy ones were at the front, by and large. So they had this question, and it was like, alright, so the second to last question is this.

Joe rides his bicycle to Mary's house. He goes five miles on the way there, or five miles an hour on the way there, and 15 miles on the way back. What's his average speed? And if you're like me, the knee-jerk reaction is, well, five one way, 15 the other. It's probably 10, right?

You know, you add them and divide by two. it's not uh it's something less than 10 because he spends more time at five miles an hour than 15 and uh yeah and shit so how far does he have to go then that would make this easy i think if i knew how far he had to go i could do this one yeah you would wait it right yeah yeah but um uh that was the number I didn't have. Yeah. Well, it was probably in the test. I don't know. But the thing, it was a test-taking strategy.

And they're like, if this question is at the end of the SATs, right where all the hard ones are, and you see this, look at a little cross-eyed. And, you know, don't fall for the easy answer. Yeah, I see what you're saying. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. And sometimes if you see a question that's far too easy for the test anyway like if the test looks wrong at all because teachers are cocksuckers have you did either either of you ever have a teacher or professor or whatever who did this one the beginning of your test has like

a ton of instructions like a paragraph of instructions and you've got like a 45 minute quiz to do and you just kind of scan them and then you get right into algebra or history or whatever it is but in the instructions it says mark a for every single answer sign your name and put in the red slot on the teacher's desk don't say a word to anyone and that's the test that's the test i've got i got two of those tests separately from separate teachers in high school i i it was i got both of them i got both of them i read because i remember i was just like oh i better read these goddamn instructions i hope this doesn't hold me up and it's just like wait a minute this is a different kind of test i'm looking at people like

oh yeah okay like working shit out and doing what like trying to remember who fucking socrates is and i'm like a a a i've never had that i can't imagine that working in like an actual like uh auditorium in college because it would take one person to read it and then everybody who didn't read it would see the person stand up two minutes of the test and go turn it in and he probably someone would go hey it's in the instructions it's in the instructions hey he fooled us and the teacher like shut up he gets an f and nobody else read the instructions oh fuck my whole plan you. I guess everybody gets an A. Did you think auditorium classes were harder or easier?

I can't tell you how many times I was taking math tests. Which classes? Like huge ones. People get nervous. You're lagging sometimes. But people get nervous about classes that have 400 people in it.

And in my experience anyway, those are all easy classes. Like if there's a class with eight people in it, you you're taking fucking like you're going to be a doctor at the end of it but if there's a class with 400 people in it they're teaching you to use the library and and it's not a problem like i had an economics class with like 550 people in it or so and it was like one of those classes where they were like or it was it was like a bust them out kind of class you know where it was like something required for some majors but required for all finance and econ majors and they tried to like weed out people

you know how they have those weed out classes and this uh what was she she must have been she was korean and her accent was so thick she couldn't understand this chick and the one who teached it she was Korean and her accent was so thick she couldn't understand this chick and the one who teached it and she would tell us she's like you know most people you know there's about a 55 60 percent pass rate and about a 40 percent fail rate for this class so about almost half of you in here aren't going to pass this class if previous years are any indication and I kind of like looked around and at the time I was a senior and this was a freshman class like i just hadn't taken it yet i just needed to go back i could do it and it was like looking around like oh hot dog because i guarantee this senior is not in that 40 who's gonna fail because i'm at

least old enough and wise in big air quotes enough with mizzou and school to be like okay i really do have to put my nose to the grindstone with some of this stuff like there there are so many classes in college that people fail just because they're lazy like not because the content is actually hard i have so i have an uncountable number of friends in college who had to spend extra years extra semesters uh just ended up dropping out in certain cases after putting in a couple years because they were lazy pieces of shit in the end and they was like hey mike we should probably get ready for that test we have in that class we share you know i know what you were talking about when we were drinking last night you said you had a 1.7 that can't be

great for you so maybe you want to go to study like no fuck that it's gonna be so easy dude it's gonna be so easy sometimes the profile of that student is that they were able to get through high school on intuition. People would be like, oh, they're geniuses, whatever. No, no, no. What it was is they were able to take tests and get through the courses with what was common sense to them. And then they get to college and just like intuition doesn't get you through microeconomics yeah i got like i didn't have to you don't have to study a lot in high school like even the finals it's like come on like it's not a real final like a university final but yeah you're exactly right

like it's almost like it's so easy that those people go yeah my geometry teacher told me this is a real hard one too and then i just blew right through it and so so many people that first semester in college just treat it like that and then lose easy credits like like if you're if you're in your first semester in college or you're about to enter it and you're listening to this like you gotta cement your gpa high like you will kick yourself if you got a bad grade, one bad grade your freshman year because there's no excuse for it. You can get an A in all those classes unless you're taking, I don't know, engineering or something really tough that would bend me over. Even then, freshman?

It's just annoying that so much of the failure in college you see from friends or acquaintances is just because they don't do it like i don't know how people would do that i would i get i would i get so stressed out to do with school it's like hey taylor you want to go out go drink and go to a bar it's like no i have this it's due monday it's like yeah it's saturday night though it's like yeah if i go i'm not gonna be able to enjoy it i'm gonna be stressed out the whole time i'll just get this done and i'll meet up with you later tonight. That's the thing that's unique to school too. You're growing up now. Does your boss ever like, you know?

Do you have tasks now where you're like, I can't go to the movies on Saturday night? You know? I'll just be completely – I never – like at work, I thought I worked a lot, but it didn't – like school is the only place that has this expectation that they own you 24 hours a day. I felt like that was unique to school. Whereas at work, they're like, oh, we want you to have work-life balance. It's important to us because if we burn you out,

you're not going to be good when you're 52 and, you know, whatever. Not that you'll be working there, but whatever. They just have this expectation that people are happy and that doesn't seem like a goal in school yeah definitely not in school but maybe it makes sense like you're getting paid for work so you have something to be happy about whereas with school most of the time you're paying huge amounts does it not make sense isn't it the opposite like it's school shouldn't things be a little easier because you're the customer but no yeah maybe well no but they need to make sure those customers keep coming back so no it's it's like a weird thing with university now it seems

like they have to make it so easy that anyone can get some degree you know because obviously they want as many potential customers as possible but they also have to keep the, quote, real majors hard enough that a bunch of fucking goobers aren't going out there and being like, I'm an accountant too. Willy nilly. Hope for the best. There you are, Kyle. I came back and I was not on the call anymore.

Well, you are back and that's what matters. We were concerned. I knew we'd be back. I was never scared scared did anything fun happen while you weren't on the call probably not probably not there's only a minute or two i was gonna bring you back to hockey talk just so that are they losing that way uh blues are up four to one and four to one with the new coaches. This is his first game, right? First game.

Yep. Spurring them on to victory. So I think you can expect to outscore your opponents by quadruple going forward. I think that is fair. Unless the Blues pull a classic St. Louis Blues here and let in four goals in the third period and lose by one. Or even more Blues would be to let in like five goals and lose by one. Or even more blues would be to let in five goals and lose by two. Fire hazard?

Fire hazard. She was raised by a fireman. Oh, did you bring them back in there? Just the empty bookshelf. The pollen-covered shelf. How much better am I now than an hour ago like i was so much better sneezing my eyes were like we had to get some special tea yeah that was that that

i didn't expect that effect you are definitely allergic to roses we're getting in how long are we into the show 3 30 anybody have a calling tale do you want to what a bible tale a story you know i do oh i thought you were asking to end the call to which i was going to say no no well i i was i was asking because if you if you had said like three minutes and or three hours and 50 minutes and be like okay we can end on a bible tale but it's not going to be half hour so we'll just tell it now i still want the bible tale we talked about elisha some last week you guys remember he's one of the jew wizards known as prophets from the old testament who magic things he's the guy who they call them bald head bald head all the children you know in the town and then he summoned the two bears to slaughter the children and told them, you know, that'll show you to be a little snarky from now on.

And so that seemed like an am I the asshole story where he was totally an asshole. And so I wanted to even it out a little bit. Like Elisha couldn't have been that bad. God gave him superpowers. And so here's a better side of Elisha. So it is a more obscure Bible tale. So a lot of people won't know this one so there's a guy named naaman and naaman was a general for syria or assyria whatever the

fuck it was back then and they didn't get along great with israel uh if you read the old testament it's pretty much just over and over israel being like and then we ran into the moabites and they were total assholes until we conquered them and then we ran into the Moabites, and they were total assholes until we conquered them. And then we ran into the Ammonites, and even bigger assholes until we conquered them. And just kind of that story. But they weren't getting along at the time, and Israel had the lower hand. He was more powerful. And this guy, Naaman, had leprosy. And leprosy, obviously, very bad.

I don't fully understand how you can be, like, a general and have leprosy, because I feel like it's super, super contagious, and anybody would get it. But he did. He had leprosy, and he wanted to try and get it cured they tried everything honey rubs you know goat uh milk all the things all this all the classics and nothing worked and so he goes to his king i'm gonna go seek out the king of israel because that dude has this guy elisha on in his, and he's magic. He's an actual magic man who might be able to save me from leprosy. So I'm going to go give it a go. And so this guy reaches out to the king of Israel and goes,

hey, I'm coming over. Don't panic. Just coming over for a bit. If you could hook me up with Elisha and try and heal me, that would be awesome. And the king of Israel is like, this is so shady bullshit. Like, there's no way he's coming over. He's going to come try and conquer us. And Elisha overhears the message that was sent to the king of Israel is like, this is so shady bullshit. Like, there's no way he's coming over. He's going to come try and conquer us. And Elisha overhears the message that was sent to the king of Israel and goes, hey, just send him straight to me. Just send him straight to me. It's going to be fine. Send him to my little hovel, my hobbit home, wherever I live. And so this guy, Naaman, brings gifts, chariots, gold, spices, all the stuff, all the stuff that you want back in the day.

Gold, spices, all the stuff, all the stuff that you want back in the day. And he shows up at Elisha's house, waiting there. He's got leprosy. The boils are so sore. He's been walking over the desert all day. Imagine doing that in bullshit sandals and covered in pustules and boils with necrosis occurring on your little appendages. And he's waiting out there, waiting. You know, Elisha, Elisha, are you coming out? waiting you know elisha elisha are you coming out elisha sitting in there tells his servant to go out and tell him hey i'm not available i got a lot of stuff going on right now so

i'm not coming out you're not going to see me just go bathe in the jordan river seven times and you'll be fine and naman is pissed he's like i just brought look at how much how many people are here right now and how many chariots how many things i brought all of this just to be like just i he told him like i expected you to come out and wave your hands and place hands on me and get rid of this leprosy and instead you tell me to go take a dunk seven times in a dirty river miles from here it's ridiculous i'm going home and so naman's about to head back and of course apparently one of his servants had seen a netflix series at one point because he's like no dude this is obviously like a woo gotcha kind of thing that he's doing

so let's give it a go we're gonna stop at the jordan river on the way back either way we have to cross it just dunk yourself fuck and so they get to the river. He dunks himself seven times, and he comes out pristine, clean as ever, completely cured. And he is like so – he's elated. He tries again to send all the gifts to Elijah. So just give it to him. I don't care what he says. Just make sure that guy gets it. This is the best.

I'm not going to die. I'm great. Praise to the Israel God. Sends him all the gifts, and Elisha again says, no. No, I'm not gonna die i'm great like praise to the israel god sends him all the gifts and elisha again says no no i'm not taking any gifts take him back and so naaman's like whatever dude fine and so he takes all the gifts back brings him home the guy doesn't have leprosy what uh elisha's servant then does is some really sketchy bullshit he goes to naman and says that whole gift thing hilarious hilarious story he thought that you wanted a gift from him and he said he didn't

have one but we definitely want all those gifts we want all of them all those gifts you brought the other day i'll i'll leave them back there i'll bring them back okay and the and naman's like okay cool yeah i trust you you just saved my life so take it take the chariots and the gold and whatever and keep it and this guy elisha's servant ends up keeping all of it from elisha and doesn't tell him that he took that gift and so this guy's now loaded off of his ass off a bunch of stuff that he didn't do for elisha elisha of course is a wizard of sorts a prophet and so he figures this out i don't know what the servant thought he was gonna do by pulling the wool over this guy's eyes who just cured leprosy he just cured somebody's leprosy and he's

like this is the guy to screw like fuck this guy and so he gets it elisha finds out brings him in it's almost like he's getting fired you know where you get called into the office and it's quiet. And it's, you know, we've had a lot of discussions in the past about issues of behavior. You've read our code of conduct and our ethics policy. You know how we do things here at Jews Incorporated. And this is not how we do it. And the servant expecting just to get fired or let go like oh i can't help this old wizard man anymore with his daily duties uh in between curing people and elisha flips the

script and goes actually you're gonna get leprosy and he goes actually, that's not it. All of your descendants will have leprosy. Now get out of my house. And so this servant for stealing stuff gets venge leprosy from a prophet, and that's not even enough. If you do manage to get laid with your necrotic leprosy cock, that kid's popping out like you know uh covered in welts and boils and whatnot like your whole livelihood is ruined it's all for nothing and there's no chapter in later books where they revisit it and they say you know what it's been

years you've learned your lesson haven't you and he goes and my tongue fell out but and then he goes okay fine they cure him like no it doesn't happen they just let him die of leprosy so really he didn't even cure leprosy he just transferred it to another soul that's what at the start of it you said hey i'm gonna point a you know paint a in a kinder light i'm not sure if you cut out the last few lines it's as positive as a those old testament prophets like the stories they tell you about them in the in sunday school it's as positive as a luncheon cast. Those Old Testament prophets, the stories they tell you about them in Sunday school are not the interesting stories of those prophets.

They'll tell you the ones of like, oh, and then he came out and there's blindness, and he put his hands on the guys, and the scales fell from his eyes, and he was able to see once more. They never tell you the fun shit about bears attacking the children or vengeful leprosy given out by a madman who won't accept gifts from an enemy general who he cures of leprosy.

And to be fair, the end game of all of this is that Israel conquered Moab, those people there in Syria or whatever it was. So in the end, it's like, hey, you don't have any leprosy, but we're coming to kill you in like three weeks anyway. And that did end up happening, and they slaughtered 10,000 in the city and conquered it for 80 years. So it did pan out for Israel. Yeah, that's all that matters. Yeah, that's the thing with Bible stories in the Old Testament. If you take off like the last 15%, 16%, they're very uplifting.

Yeah, those always end really harshly. It's almost like some Roman senator came back later and put something in there to frighten the masses. Yes, fluoride. Fluoride, that makes them gay. That's why all these Senator Alex Jones, I believe.

Senator Alex Jones. From the great state of crazy motherfuckers and scam i believe that was senate governor jesse the body ventura elisha never cured that leprosy it's a rumor started by the establishment to let them take full control of healthcare in this country. That's the level of stuff he says. Yeah, he's great. He lives off the grid, as he says, in Mexico. In Mexico?

Yeah, he lives in Mexico. Off the grid. Is he rich? I can't tell. He looks poor. He looks like he should be begging for money in New York City. He looks poor, but not in a money way. He he looks poor he looks uh he looks like he should be begging for money in new york city he looks poor but let but not in a money way he just looks poor he has a poor look about him he looks like things haven't gone well um in a long time for one thing i mean he's bald but he was always

bald he always shaved his head but he's got that like last remnant of hair way in the back grown down to his shoulders like a foot long yeah that long. Yeah, that's a terrible look. It's a terrible look. It's the old crazy man look. And, you know, the guy was a governor of a state and a professional wrestler, movie star,

and yet still, he's a bit of a madman. But I think he's crazy like a bot. Because he does all those conspiracy shows and he gets paid a bundle. Like part of his off-the-grid thing in Mexico. I think that's a show he does where it's like off-the-grid with Jesse Ventura. This week on off-the-grid.

I think that's it. Is there anything good on Netflix lately? Anything good you asked? Yeah, sometimes people like The Crown't i tried to watch it i didn't give it a proper chance i tried a frontier i gave that uh that show ago it's got um i don't know what his name is the guy who played coles rogo yeah carl is his name yeah so he's like a fur trader and it's one of those shows again where like i really want to like it because i want a new series but it's just not pulling me in.

Disappointing. You see the new It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia? The Making a Murderer style one? No, I'm going to be lying. I'll have to watch it. I liked it. Each episode this season has been very different from the last. This is a whole new

form factor of an episode. They completely rip off the making a murderer uh documentary and do it in that style and you can imagine of course they recreate the scene of brendan being questioned in the and he's charlie though right yeah it's charlie on cat tranquilizers he's just like yeah no no. That's not how this works. You tell me how she died. Piledriver? Piledriver. They're just like walking him through it.

But the name of the episode is Making Dennis Reynolds a Murderer or something like that. Making a Murderer to Dennis Reynolds. And it's all about if Dennis Reynolds is a murderer. And it's filmed in that same style. You know clearly he either is or will be. That guy's a psycho. He definitely will be. He definitely will be.

And I'm not going to spoil anything. But I liked the episode. But it's very different than, you know, it's as different an episode as the musical episode was. It's not their standard fare. I liked that one. And Chiz hated it, I think. Yeah, that was definitely a bad one in Chiz's opinion. I liked it.

No, no, no. The musical? No, no. Chiz loved it. Taylor hates it. Oh, I haven't watched that one. Yeah, I didn't like that at all. I have high hopes for Sonny's songs ever since the Nightman, the Dayman musical episode, which is just like, I rewatched that one recently

because it's so fucking funny, but the songs just weren't, I don't know. It was a disappointing episode. It wasn't that great. The rest of the season since then that I've seen has been much better. Yeah, I think it's a good season this year. It's very impressive that they're making good seasons

and new original stuff and going to different places this far into their tenure. I dig the show. I like it a lot. It's one of my favorites. I watched it today, the new episode, and I liked it, like I said. I liked last week's episode, too. I loved the water park episode. And the musical episode was

just okay. And it was just okay for me because of what you just said. The songs were not, in my opinion, up to the level of the Dayman and that episode and any of the songs were not in my opinion up to the level of the day man uh and that episode and any of the songs in the day um but yeah i love that fucking show man it's great i'm trying to think what else i'm watching you mentioned you asked about netflix i've been watching i've been re-watching the trailer park boys a bit lately i went back and i discovered

there were a few holes in my trailer park Park boy repertoire. I had never watched Say Good Night to the Bad Men, which is the 46 minute higher budget episode that was made to be the end all be all Trailer Park episode, like the final after season 7. It's supposed to go there.

And then of course Netflix picks them up for maybe seasons 8, 9, and ten yeah and then there's um four movies there's um i i don't know the trailer parks boy like i'm of the opinion that these shows don't get worse i just get tired of them and that's kind of what happened to me with trailer park boys like i feel like it's the same story now for like the 10th year in a row oh it totally definitely is um in many cases literally like they're not even doing different stuff it's the same like um relationship dynamic issues it's like

oh it's an issue because mr lay he's drunk and randy is with somebody else and we someone else is going to try to take the park and we need to sell enough drugs to buy the park that's like every episode ever right yeah and and you know the money troubles are causing this stupidity is causing that problem you know this like um who's the main character blonde dude ricky ricky yeah you know he can't seem to get along with his baby mama because he's stupid and uh because she's stupid and a whoreore. Yes. I don't know. I feel like it's the same show for ten years in a row. It probably is.

I dig it, though. I like every little nuance of it and all those little characters and how shitty they all are. I like what a whore Lucy is. She's literally fucked every guy. I'm watching and I'm like, she's fucked that guy and that guy and that guy they're all in the same room she's fucked them all that's the case with so many other characters sarah's another one sarah has fucked everyone the redheaded chick i like to watch sarah the redheaded chick as the series goes on get fatter and fatter and fatter um most of them do almost

all of them get fatter and fatter and fatter um You know, Trevor. Who doesn't? Maybe Leahy? I don't know if it's Corey or Trevor because I think it's Corey. I think Corey's the black kid or the mixed kid. He stays in shape the whole time. In fact, he's more muscular. The alcoholic does too. I mean, he gets older. He can't prevent that.

But he doesn't get fat, does he? They're all alcoholics. Which one? Good point. Ricky's dad? The bald guy who wants to be a cop. Mr. Leahy? Yes.

Yeah, well, he's got the body type to stay thin, I guess. And he was old when it started. He was like 50 when they started, it seemed like. So he'd gotten to the slow metabolism years where drinking a 12-pack of beer doesn't do it anymore. But Ricky has gotten real big. The most recent thing they've done is some sort of like trailer park boys in europe and it's just so contrived like the whole idea of why they're there is stupid why are they there oh god i don't remember they the reason they went there but

once they're they are there they're on like this tour of europe where like they have to jump through hoops to get cash like they've got no money and no drugs. It's like, ah, here's your challenge for today, boys. Really, it's just a good reason to put them in odd scenarios in Europe to make this stupid fucking 10-episode thing they made. I hate it because they're all fat. Even Bubbles is really fat.

They're just doing stupid shit in Europe that isn't comical at all. I want to see them in a goddamn trailer park, living in poverty. When they win, I want to see them in a goddamn trailer park living in poverty. And when they win, I want that to mean they get to live on the inside. And when they lose, it means they are literally homeless people outside.

One of them's in a tent. We're drinking out of the bottom of a two liter cutoff. And one guy's got to drink out of a cat bowl because we ran out of two liters. And I love the poverty and just the white trash bottom of the barrel kind of humanity that they show off i just feel like they like i haven't seen the europe stuff i guess it's terrible because you say it is but to me i'm like i'd like to try something different you know i can't watch them

fucking try to raise money to save the trailer park for the 11th year in a row oh they're going to. If you watch, that's what you're going to get. I don't know if you've seen the 10th season is shit, in my opinion. I don't like the 10th season. I feel like it jumps the shark a bit. They've got Tom Arnold, Snoop Dogg. Oh, I did see that.

I didn't care for that. And I'll tell you, the worst part about it, it wasn't Tom Arnold or Snoop Dogg. It was that fat lesbian woman with the pink baseball bat who kept like pushing all the main characters around and saying really disgusting disgusting stuff and you know it takes some pretty coarse language to make me feel uncomfortable but this bitch talking about her love stick or whatever and like jerking off her pink bat it's like yeah like no there are no women who think you're attractive, you big fat dyke. You're no one's cup of tea.

Why are you so proud of what you look like and what you are? You're disgusting. And she's just pushing all the guys around, and I'm just waiting. I'm like, oh, she's going to get her comeuppance. Is she rich? No. She's just part of another group. She's wealthy enough.

Someone will like her. Fucking Donald Sterling got some ass. Yeah, I's just... I'm just thinking like, oh, she'll get her comeuppance here at the end of the season. By season eight, we'll fucking have her in prison or something.

Nah, she never gets put in her place at any point. And that rubbed me the wrong way. I really dislike the 10th season, but shit, the first nine, I can watch over and over. I really do like them. And I've seen all those goddamn movies.

If you watch Trailer Park, it is awesome to have Kyle as your Trailer Park tour guide. She was not into it until I put him onto it when we were in Colorado last time. That's what made me think of it. She just tried to watch it and it just wasn't his show. And then Kyle's like, alright,

watch this. And I remember you pointed out a couple things to me. Early in the first episode of the first season, they put a drink in Julian's hand. He's like, you will never see that guy without a drink. It almost never happens. There's a couple exceptions, and Kyle could probably name them. You watch it, and you're like, damn, yeah.

And then, oh, did you see when he climbed that fence? I'm making this up. And there's a tear in his pants for the next four years. And they don't untear man they don't pants are torn now and for like years four years five years that damn car that they have it just keeps getting worse that's yeah it was julian's grandmother's car gate she gave to julian julian gave to ricky so he could live in he lives in that car for the majority of the trailer park boys saga that it is across multiple platforms.

Occasionally he gets himself a trailer, but it's rare. Usually it's not even a livable trailer. It's not a livable car. It's one of those missing windows. He burnt that trailer down. That was his dad's trailer. His dad just finished that 35 year old mortgage

on that single wide trailer and he burns it down cooking french fries. That was their lowest point ever. Right after Ricky burns down his dad's trailer they're all living outdoors. I don't think that... Julian is in an army tent.

Ricky is literally sleeping on the ground in this episode. And Bubbles, I don't know where he was. He may have been in a shed. He may have had his shed, but I don't recall. But I just remember they wake up and Ricky has made the last of the bacon for his father. And

Bubbles can smell that bacon. He comes over. You guys got any bacon for us? Any more? And they're like, sorry, sorry bubs but just cooked all the rest of it up for the old man but here you can split one of these bread heels with me he's like no bread heel and a bread heel

is like that last piece of bread that's like he tears it in half rubs it in the bacon grease and gives it to Bubbles and the look on Bubbles face while he's eating it, it's like a forced frown in his mouth. He's just so disgusted by it.

And he's like, here, wash it down with a little of this. And he gives him a 20-ounce bottle that has been melted until the point where it is like this. It's melted into this shape. And he goes... And it just looks so sad and depressed. He's just so sad and depressed

that he's having to drink and eat this stuff. It's like, this is a low, boys. We gotta get our shit together. That's why I didn't watch... I needed the same kind of guidance to get into the show. I needed someone to be like, no, just give it,

just stick with it the first couple episodes. Because the first time I tried watching it just on a lark i got through the intro in a couple minutes and i was like this is the most depressing show i've ever seen in my entire life this is making me sad like i'm sad for these people because like they all just have what looks like horrible horrible lives It's a couple of the lowest caliber criminals and they aren't good at it. And then their semi-mentally

handicapped friend who keeps cats in his shed and has no family. And it was just like... They're each good at one thing. What is Bubbles good at? I want to talk about Bubbles. Bubbles is the smartest of them all. First of all, he's the one to be like, Jesus, fellas, we're having a gunfight in the smartest of them all. First of all, he's the one to be like,

Jesus, fellas, we're having a gunfight in the middle of the street. And no one else realizes it's weird. He's the only one who's got enough common sense for that. And then occasionally, Ricky's like, how much is this going to cost with the tax? It's like a $119 model. It was a $99.99 rocket or something. It was like $100 plus tax, and Bubbles goes,

and like, oh, $104.13. He's like, oh, okay. He can do math, okay? That's all Bubbles really has going for him. He's good at keeping him safe because he'll stop Ricky. There's some point where Ricky's going to go beat up Leahy. That happens like 50 times throughout the series, and Bubbles has to stop him and be like, from like like there's like some point where ricky's like gonna go beat up lahey that happens like 50 times throughout the series and bubbles has to like stop him and be like oh jesus ricky

you can't just go over to mr ladies and hit him with a hockey stick you know there's an actor this guy has down syndrome i think that's it's just uh ailment yeah and uh he played a guy named corky in a tv show when i was a kid and uh i always thought it was neat that a guy named Corky in a TV show when I was a kid. And I always thought it was neat that a guy with Down syndrome could be an actor and memorize lines and act and do stuff like that. So when I watched Trailer Park Boys and I saw Bubbles, I was like, oh, yeah, that's neat. They're doing it again. You thought Bubbles had Down syndrome? Clearly Bubbles.

In my head, I was sure that this was a real-life disabled actor. And, you know, he's doing the show, and he never broke character. He's very convincing to me. And I was just convinced that Bubbles was freaking just a little slow. Something was wrong with Bubbles, undoubtedly. I saw him in a YouTube video behind the scenes or something. And I'm just like, huh? Like, no way! No way! Like he was

acting that whole time. I was convinced that much like Chris Burke, Bubbles was retarded. Nope. He's a regular old guy. You know, Mo is friends with him, our friend in New York who's the wealthy guy that we hung out with at times. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I like Moe. He knows Bubbles. He's had Bubbles come to things with him before. That was one of those things he was like, ah, I'm trying to get Bubbles to come to this thing in New York, and we never got to see Bubbles. But, yeah, he's a regular intelligence guy, probably smarter than average because, you know, he's an actor and he does a good job at it.

Those glasses he's wearing are legit. Like, he cannot look through them. They give him nausea and headaches, and he has to wear those same fucking glasses the whole run of this thing. Because if they didn't have a prescription, then his eyes wouldn't look weird and stuff. He has to have a fucked up prescription. He's looking through magnifying glasses, basically,

in order to get that level of distortion on his eyes to fill the whole thing up like that would be so nauseating that would be like oh you just know when they started it they were like all right you're always going to hold a drink and you're always going to be a fuck up and not be able to handle basic shit but you're great at getting out of crimes and you're going to wear these glasses and three episodes in he had to be like this is this is horrible can we please can i not be that be a sunglasses guy and they're like no you have to be bubbles the guy who wears these coke bottle glasses and talks with his mouth out there and jesus ricky what are we gonna do that happened to jordy from star trek next generation he put on a woman's like it was like a hairband or something

and he put it in front of his eyes and And the director and producer saw it and they're like, you know what? That looks really cool. Let's run with it. And the poor guy had to wear that shit on his face for the next nine years. And it's got slits cut in it. These vertical slits all the way across. And he's peering through that to see shit.

It's a real... He lobbied for artificial eyes. He's like it's Star Trek God damn it Give me some ocular implants and it was like eight it was like in third movie before they actually did it But they got into my eyes eventually, but he said wait did they get him eyes eventually? I thought yeah, they got it They got him so there was so okay So they're in one of the Star Trek movies the one where they go down to the planet that has the rejuvenative effects

It regrows his corneas and makes him able to see again but then that was a movie that was one of the movies but then later in the other movie when they go back in time with with uh with cromwell and they like redo the first uh warp flight and all that uh he has these like blue mechanical eyes that if you zoom really close in have like you know metal pieces turning in them and stuff they're like an artificial eye of some kind but yeah they get them away from the visor by the end in the movies though like he did all the tv shows with the damn thing on yeah except for one episode yeah i have a question for you kyle totally new topic but i thought you might know this so i sometimes burn my boxes because we we get so much stuff from Amazon that I can't recycle it all.

And as a way to catch up, I incinerate things. And we have these couch cushions that we're not using anymore. And they are filled with feathers of some sort, down or whatever. Do you know if feathers burn? Yeah, they burn. It's going to smell like burning hair or burning flesh. But if I get a good fire cooking, it'll burn them right up.

They'll melt like plastic. Yeah. Okay. I think I have a plan. That should be fun. Maybe I'll... I bet somebody wants a vlog of this. Who would be burning feathers? I want – I bet somebody wants a vlog of this. Woody burning feathers.

I want to see your dogs tear those pillows apart in the yard is what I want to say. You know, it would be fun, but it would train them the wrong way. It would be a terrible, terrible mess too. Oh, my dogs. They're ridiculous and they're gigantic and they're enthusiastic about everything. The other thing about Julian that I like, this is a little thing that repeats throughout the 10 years or whatever. He's always got the drink in his hand and he's huge, right? a big guy me and chis had this talk the other day i was like i read it after the fact yeah he was trying to say that they're both fat and i was like first of all julian is 15 pounds away from being fucking

vin diesel or something like an action hero very strong and like and ricky only has like a tiniest amount of fat that goes over his like pants even when they're tight back in you know the in the show's home Ricky's the blonde right yeah yeah he's got the the facial hair and the the wolf's hound or the hound's tooth whatever shirt and everything Julian's the big muscle guy and then there's bubbles and there's Ricky

um yeah I was just arguing with him I think that Ricky's chubby he's definitely fatter than Julian, but Julian is, like, big fat. I know what you're going to say. Did you see that link I sent? I don't know.

He's a little country strong. He's not in, like, bad shape at all. He has, like, a Midwest corn-fed kind of... You've got to see the video. Yeah, corn-fed, I think, is a good... Like, just, like, you're big and you're muscular, and you really are just a big guy but there's some fat on you

alright so check out this picture this guy to me looks like a fucking okay well then he's yeah if that's what then he's in really good shape I guess you would describe that as really good shape I would describe that as I should have described it differently I should have said

very muscular he's muscular he needs to drop a little bit I would describe that as... I should have described it differently. I should have said very muscular. He's muscular. He needs to drop a little bit of body fat, and he'll have a great body. That's what I was saying. 15 pounds of fat off that, and he's like Vin Diesel. He's a fucking action star, I feel like. He's 15 pounds of fat away from being incredible looking, like a real fucking action star.

I think he might have more than 15 on him. He's a big dude, like already. But anyway, the thing is, he's always got that drink in his left hand, which only leaves his right hand free, and he never picks fights with anyone. You'll notice that Julian is definitely not a bully. He never looks for physical altercation with anybody,

but guys will try to come to him often, and every single time it ends the exact same way one right hook and they're unconscious and he just he's like why'd you make me do that it's just like for every single time like it'll be like there's like cyrus would be like get him sam and sam will be like i've been wanting to take on these muscles ever since you put me in prison come on jules and julian's just like bam and he's just like unconscious on the ground this is like there's your cave man he's just unconscious on the ground. He's just like, there's your cave, man. He's just fucking knocking him out. I really dig that show. I like all the ancillary

characters. I like Sam. You need Kyle as a tour guide to fully appreciate Trailer Park Boys. On the surface, it can seem like such a shallow pool of content. And it is very repetitive. What you have to do is you have to get into those ancillary

characters and really listen to what they say and get their inside jokes. I didn't get that, what was it, Mike Brouvard or whatever joke the other day. So here's the scene. Ricky has a towel super glued to his face. It had super glue on it because they were using it to build a model of something. So it's glued to his face. He's constantly huffing glue. He looks in the window of the vet's office

and he sees Bubbles fighting Mr. Leahy and Randy two on one. And he's beating both their asses. And he's got Randy in a headlock. And he's got his Mr. Conky puppet on one hand. And the Conky puppet is talking shit while Bubbles ch their asses. And he's got Randy in a headlock. And he's got his Mr. Conky puppet on one hand. And the Conky puppet is talking shit while Bubbles chokes out Randy. And Bubbles and Ricky looking through and seeing this scene, he goes, boys, I think I'm high as shit.

Looks like Bubbles is in there choking out Mike Brouard. And I had to look it up. He's some NHL player, some Canadian NHL player who looks vaguely like Randy. Does he lose an eye, Taylor? Is that the guy from the Rangers who got his eye poked out? I don't know. Let's see. Sorry, continue, Kyle. I'll look that up.

I just love that. I'm trying to find the image of that because it was funny. Yeah, Brian Berard. Brian Berard, yes. The guy with one eye. People say I don't know my hockey. Come on!

There you go. That's all the trivia I need to make my case. But they're just... Even J-Rock. I like J-Rock's character. He thinks he's black. He legitimately thinks he's black. He's got blonde hair. Yeah, he's he's black. He's got blonde hair.

Yeah, he's 100% black. He's so blonde. He's so very blonde. I actually bought the Ricky. They play street hockey, and they've got jerseys, and I bought the jersey that Ricky wears. It says Sunnyvale across the side. It says Ricky on the back.

And so that led Chiz to be like, oh, I got to find some bubbles glasses. I got to find some. What is it? We didn't talk. The jersey thing. Isn't this going live the day before the Super Bowl? Yes. Hmm.

So I already tell you about the whole interest in sports and based on how much they fight yes alright so my interest in football is not that high but who's going to win this thing oh well on paper the Patriots are right

you got probably the best quarterback of all time in Tom Brady a guy who just keeps getting it done and has just ridiculous numbers. He's totally overrated. All he's good at is winning football games. I can't even appreciate his numbers. They're so goddamn good, and I know so little about football. But I'm, of course, a big Atlanta fan because I'm bandwagon Bill over here.

And so I want Atlanta to win. I want us to bring home a championship. Were you going to buy a jersey? I thought you were buying... I bought the Sunnyville jersey instead. Yeah, because it was so much funnier. I'll link you to what I bought.

Let's see. I bought the Ricky Sunnyville. I like that as a running bit. Kyle, just the ultimate bandwagon fan with bright, crisp, freshly ironed jerseys every time a team starts doing well. I like in Trailer Park Boys when they're playing on their Sunnyvale street hockey team, and Bubbles actually gets upset because Ricky does exactly what Ricky's personality would do, where he's like, Ricky, you can't keep bringing the puck right up the middle.

You're just losing it. And then I'm stuck here back in goal and you're not back checking. Bubbles are trying to score. You know, whatever you'd say. Yeah, I got my trailer park jersey. I'm pretty happy with that. I like it. Dude, under color, there's literally Ricky and Julian is the color. Yeah, because it says it on the back.

On the back, it says different things. If you look over in the top left of the Amazon page, it shows what the backs of them look like. His number is 4 colors. Because it says it on the back. On the back, it says different things. If you look over in the top left of the Amazon page, it shows what the backs of them look like. His number is 420. Yeah, that's great. They can't afford plastic cups. They don't have away jerseys. They've got one. One set of Sunnyvale plain

shit jerseys. In men's beer league, you can make your number anything you want, like 420 and shit works. 69. I played with a guy. His number was the symbol for Men's beer league, you can make your number anything you want, like 420 and shit works. 69. Well, better. You can take a fraction. I played with a guy. His number was the symbol for pie, which I thought was great.

And I played with a guy who was gigantic. He was like 6'4 and just muscular and even a little fat. And his number was 747. I thought that was clever too. Well, anyway, I bought that jersey. And Chiz was like, oh, I bought that jersey, and Chiz was like, ah, I want to find a Julian costume. Or no, excuse me, and I suggested that, Taylor, you get the Julian one, because

of us all, you look the most like Julian, I suppose. You have the darkest hair, for sure. Let's leave it at that. And Chiz was like, ah, I wish I could find a Bubbles costume. And I almost was just like, you need to look for a Randy costume. You cheap burger-eating

motherfucker. Motherfucker. You cheap burger-eating motherfucker. That's what Jamie says to him. That's the cheapest one, right? Just go shirtless. All he needs is some pants from like high school to slip and try to jam into those things right right no shirt he's set you know when you see like those actors who we were talking about

whatever his name christian bale how he would go from thin to ripped to thin to ripped to fat ish to ripped that's the almost that's's only a little more impressive than what Randy did on Trailer Park Boys, which was stay exactly the same amount of overweight for like 12 years. I'm wrong about that? Oh, yeah. I thought that he had the same brown belly the whole first 10 seasons, didn't he? Two things about his belly. Oh, yeah. I thought that he was like the same brown belly the whole first like 10 seasons, didn't he? Two things about his belly. Oh, Randy.

Yeah, no. That belly grows. I haven't watched it in a long time. Two things about that belly that I love. One, he gets bigger as they go. It does get bigger. And later on, he shaves his chest. He's like, oh, I shaved my chest because I was eating so many popsicles and I get all sticky.

And she's like, you know, for my popsicle art. And Sarah's like, you know, you can just buy those in bulk at the store. They're not real popsicles if they don't have popsicles on them. So that belly just keeps getting bigger as they go. Popsicles.

You don't think of the trailer park boys for their cinematography or how well they frame shots, but there are so many examples. I don't know, six or park boys for their cinematography or how well they frame shots, but there are so many examples. I don't know, six or seven. That's not so many. Examples of them framing shots really interestingly using his belly. That belly will take up like one-third of the screen size.

Or like when one of the characters is pregnant, and they're like, Lucy is pregnant, and they get both of their bellies in the scene at the same time, and they're coming from both corners of the screen down to the middle and making these bellies. And then you're just looking in between at the action. I can't get over the trailer part for this. I've probably seen too much of it. I'm just looking at an example of artistic framing of the belly. There's a couple of them in there. That's some Breaking Bad shit right there. Get it right in there.

And there's another one. There's a gif. I wonder if I can find it. Where he's on a bus, yeah. Randy, you 15-cheeseburger-eating-Rico-suave-looking-mah-fucker. He's got, like, that kind of fat that's, like, way funnier in a way than, like, a jiggly fat belly would be there. He's got one of those, like, hard fat bellies where it looks like, look at that.

Oh, it's just like, oh, it's pumping into this lady. Oh, I wish. It's too small for the show to show well, but her face is so disgusted. I don't even know if she's acting, but yeah, Trailer Park Boys is funny.

I love that he bumps into her oh and another thing every time and I mean every time someone shoves Randy and it's even part of the drinking game for Trailer Park Boys like every time someone shoves Randy you drink that's one of the things they get they're like oh oh

they always have that sweat all over and they're like immediately disgusted. They're like have to wipe it on someone else or on themselves. That's totally true. They're like make sure he takes his fucking shirt off and like wipe the sweat on his shirt and throw it away.

Or he just takes his pants off. Like unlike most people where they're about to get in a fight and take their shirt off. He doesn't have a shirt on so he'll be like, you know, I'm tired of you picking on me, Ricky. Enough's enough. And he'll start taking his pants off, and then Ricky runs over and just pushes them while his pants are off.

He's like, God, you got to wait for me to take my pants off all the way, Ricky. Can't fight otherwise. At the end of one of the seasons, he actually takes his pants off and fights. It's great. Listen to this insult from Jamie. Because Jamie's belly insults are probably the best. Like, he calls him, like, Gut Cassidy in the Sundance Kid. One episode, he's wearing a tuxedo.

He's like, oh, look at you all dressed up in your gut-sedo. Are you guys ready? Yeah. Wait one second. Ready, set, play. Hey, boys. What's going on? Everything's cool. I know what's going on here. I really don't care. I just want some cheap stuff just like everybody else. Ready, set, play. Good casting, a Sundance cheeseburger. What you looking at my eyes for? I ain't got no candy for you.

I guess that's a Canadian insult, that whole, I ain't got no candy for you, boy. What you looking at my eyes for? I ain't got no candy for you. They do it a few times. I just interpret it as a fan insult. No, it's more like, don't be looking at me. I'm not your daddy. Right, right.

It's like calling him a little kid and let him know that like you came to the wrong place if you thought this was going to be a different kind of thing than it is right now kind of kind of insult it's like I ain't got a candy for you you want cookie it's I I love that Randy's is my favorite joke in the show that like keeps coming back over and over because that belly the sweat and their sex life oh my god if you have not seen the episode where it's like season nine i think where um to to basically randy and mr lahey get caught after a night of drunken sex in their living room and when they walk and barb walks in and screams when she sees it because mr lahey has cheated on her again with with randy gotten back with him and messed up whatever they were trying to do and mr lahey gets up

completely naked and wasted as fuck all the only thing he has to hide his shame if you will is a toilet bowl roller placed on his cock and this man has the tiniest penis i've ever seen in real life outside of micro penises because it's just it's just on there on his cock and like you can kind of see his little dick in it at one point when he turns toward you and his balls have like white pubic hair floof coming down and he's so pathetic but at the same time he gives no shits because he the man has no shame he is a legitimate actor because like he gets naked does whatever the show needs him to do and still still fucking puts on a show when he'll do when he'll be like walking backwards with those aviators on drinking a fifth of like booze as until the whole thing is gone and he falls and smashes it and like i mr leahy is one of the

best characters in the show i guess because his life is ruined by the trailer park boys. Whenever you see an instance of them being gone for like a year, he'll like season, I think it's one of the movies. It begins with Mr. Leahy jogging. He's jogging and talking to the camera. He's like, well, since the boys have been gone, I got a new lease on life. Dropped 20 pounds, quit the hard liquor. And I started up my new trailer park, Lahey's Home Estates. Ah, yeah, things are going great. And he's like, this is Mr. Lahey without their influence ruining his fucking life. He goes to the hard liquor,

and my favorite line he has, I am the liquor. And Randy goes, yeah, Mr. Lahey, you've always been the liquor. And he's just giving him more because if you get him drunk, you've always been the liquor. And he's just giving him more because if you get him drunk, you've just opened, you've unleashed a monster. That's a good show.

So yeah, if you've never seen Trailer Park Boys, get into it and dig a little deeper than you might with most shows because you've got to get in there and taste it a little before you know what it is. You'll ruin the show if you multitask while you watch it. Oh yeah. Yeah, that's a pro tip. Calling it a wrap?

I think everyone's thinking it. Yeah, I think so. Let me read one more thing. Make sure I've told everything there is to know about our sponsors. I believe there's a little tidbit about Creature Quest before we sign off. From legendary game designer John Van Canegum, creator of the Heroes of Might and Magic series, comes Creature Quest. Johnny V!

An adventurous RPG that brings a new level of depth and strategy to mobile games. Available on the App Store, Google Play, Amazon. Download Creature Quest for free today and be part of the best turn-based collectible RPG. Your quest for creatures is paved with adventure. Quest on. Check them

out along with 1-800-Flowers, NatureBox, and Squarespace, our sponsors for this glorious evening. And that's all I got. Very good. PKA, episode 320.