Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #323

Episode Date: March 3, 2017

This week on PKA, Paintball Kitty from the Twist of Insanity podcast, makes a return and they talk recent issues with the Trump administration, is VR sex considered cheating, Twitch streamer dying and buying used underwear. All your favorite things!

Jump the gun again. Kyle's been streaming live after I pressed the button. Yeah, you got to add a few more seconds. Anyway, PKA 323. Paintball Kitty is coming as our guest. She's just, I don't know, preparing herself for the show. There's a lot of prep involved. And there we are.

Now, we picked out our first topic? We did. We were going to talk about the streamers. Kyle, did you have anything from the sponsors before we get going? Oh, thank you. I got several sponsors tonight. Nature Box, Casper, Dollar Shave Club, thank you. I've got several sponsors tonight. NatureBox, Casper, Dollar Shave Club, ZipRecruiterStamps.com

We'll talk about each of those later on in the show. Links down in the description below. But yeah, apparently this... Winning lineup of sponsors. So the streamer is what, right before this, we started for a couple minutes and hashed out what topic we wanted to go through. And we decided on this streamer guy.

So you brought it up, Woody. What's the little you know so spark notes on this there's a live streamer named posh hybrid and uh i'm just taking this off the internet but it says that he was kind of known for chain smoking and drinking on stream and oh dinner uh he did he was doing a 24-hour live stream, and he died in the 22nd hour. That close. At a certain point, he was streaming nearly 24 by 7 for several days straight, taking only sleeping breaks, only short sleeping breaks. Now, this allegedly, according to random people on the Internet, and if you can't trust random people on the internet,

who can you trust? But they would look at him and say he was obviously on opioids. I don't know. I wouldn't be able to detect it. There's some clips here we could possibly watch him. Yeah, I'd like to see that. I'd like to see this dead man. I just have it muted for the clips

because I unmute and it was just music for the one I looked at. Yeah, that's all it really is. Yeah, I guess it says here he went out for a smoke. You know, he was looking really bad, they said. And he went out for a smoke and he never returned back. And then someone who had his phone number, I guess, from the stream, a mod or something, like called or texted and they got a detective instead. And he was like, you need to call me.

And then they told him that, yeah, you're this guy just had a stroke or a heart attack. He's dead. That's a little tasteless that this is posted in live stream fail, isn't it? Right? That's kind of tasteless. I subscribe to that. Where else do you put it? There is no better place to put this shit than livestream fail.

Oh my god, we're such dicks. I'm so sorry. This is the sort of shit that is ruining modern society, goddammit. He died doing a fucking stream. That is the biggest livestream fail ever. And we'll never know. It was not a successful stream. Was it the drugs?

He didn't accidentally like flash some personal information or like forget to turn it off and masturbate. No, he fucking died. This is the biggest livestream fail ever. Yeah, because people on livestreams have killed themselves before, but that's not a fail because they tried to do that. That's a success, really, given that that was their mission. This guy's mission was not to die, and livestream fail, I guess. I guess.

It's a very tactless place to post this. When did this happen? Is this like a, oh, this is years ago thing or did this happen very recently? Three days ago. And this was posted three days ago. Someone saw this and was like, I'm going to get a lot of points on Reddit.

Oh, wait, let's look. He actually did get a lot of karma. 1859, that's a good amount pretty strong it's not only 15 oh you only get it for posting like pictures and shit though ah everything i have it in my head that change but he's right typically in self posts you don't get karma but now that might be subreddit dependent i'm not positive i could be who knows you're in the like centurions club right yes yeah there's a special place you can go if you have a hundred thousand karma points you know what sucks if you have 50 000 comment karma and 50 000 link karma not it you have to

have a hundred thousand of one of them oh to make it into the secret club yes yes let's see oh and you're you're a member of the secret yeah they've got a hand but i'm not active i'm a lurker in it and uh a lot of a lot of them know each other and stuff well sure i know i don't have any about it you know the truth is all fraternities frock and all sororities blow. So that's, you know, you can take your guess as to which one we do. In this secret club. Man, so was this, I'm curious about what this guy's actual channel was. Like, was this just, because it doesn't look like he's playing a video game. It almost looks like in this background

shit, it's like, it's just a chat. Welcome to Mike's hardcore stream where we do drugs and get fucked. It's a 24 hour stream so i imagine it got pretty laid back you know um and so he was just smoking and drinking and they think doing pills or mixing stuff and shooting heroin you know who knows i don't know anything i don't know what i don't know what the evidence of him doing opioids is and you know i don't think i'd

recognize it i i guess like uh you know you're all all – it's a real depressant, so I guess you're real slow speech and you look like you're tuckered out. It just seems like – you know in the 80s when Coke was big? It was all – the picture at least. I mean I wasn't around, but I've seen shows. I've seen TV I've seen yeah You know people do a movie. Yep Yeah doing coke off of in the bathroom getting ready like oh we're gonna make so much money today like Wolf of Wall Street Style shit you would think that those drugs would make more sense here than a downer

You know what like if you're gonna do it's a big downer It's an opioid and so if you have a big day The last thing you want to do is start it off with a spoonful of heroin, so to speak. Like you definitely don't want to do that. I feel like if you're going to be a live streamer who's doing drugs, why not take the 80s man approach? You know, be upbeat. Oh, we're 10 hours in, but it doesn't matter. I've lost complete perception of time.

I have no idea what's happening. You can go on a day and just take Adderall. I'm watching. This is so fucked up. I'm watching one what's happening. You can go modern day and just take Adderall. I'm watching. This is so fucked up. I'm watching one of these links. It's a video segment of his stream. It's him sitting in a chair. It looks like he's nodding off.

His head is down, eyes closed. Occasionally his head slips forward an inch and a half and then pops back up a little bit. And I'm looking at the comments and they're laughing at him. This guy goes, rest in peace. Everybody's rolling on the floor laughing. Laugh my ass off. I think they removed comments. Everybody's loving this.

I'm sorry I interrupted. But the comments about the drugs and the opioids and stuff, I didn't make that up. I distinctly remember reading it. I read it. I went back and looked at his eyes again like I would know something. Like you discerned some new thing? Ah, of course.

The flag lighted my eyes. Well, they're like anyone who – as a long-term opioid, heroin guy, I can tell that he's got that look about him. So I watch it again to see if he's got the look, and he looks like a human to me. I will say that – Go on. Go ahead. It could be opioids of course like and i certainly wouldn't be the one to like notice that because i don't i don't think i've ever known

anyone who was into that or really seen anybody who was on it um but it also looks like someone who's been up for a very long time doing a 24-hour live stream you know like this is what i look like after i like work really hard and then they're like oh you don't get to sleep you have to just keep now we need three more hours out of you and you're like oh god i'm gonna this isn't gonna be good and that's what he looks tired to me he doesn't look good i and obviously he dies like shortly before this so he's probably not feeling good but um but yeah i couldn't tell that all what i'm saying it's just gas escaping now i told the whole story about the... You know, going to look at it and stuff

because I remember the comments were there for sure. And it looks like the mods removed the drug abuse theories. What type of a livestream fail would it have been if he were dead in that chair for like 45 minutes, two hours, and everybody's like laughing at him and like, are you still asleep? Can you believe it? And then the coroners are coming in. Like, paramedics come in. They're trying to like laughing at him. He's still asleep, can you believe it? And then the coroners are coming in.

The paramedics come in, they're trying to rouse him. That would have been a crazy live stream. I guess it's fortunate for him and his family that he did step away and then inevitably passed. Imagine if Twitch got another boost. People have heard this before or watched the show. Justin.TV, Ustream, a couple others were all kind of battling to see

who's who and then a guy committed suicide on justin tv and they blew up which later became twitch and it's really one of the primary reasons because from a technical standpoint they were all about equal it's one of the primary reasons that twitch became the one everyone went to because you know justin tv was the one everyone went to because you know Justin TV was the one everyone to that turn in Twitch it got super famous by all these news outlets covering a livestream suicide would they have gotten a second bump if this guy had a livestream stroke yeah yeah yeah they would have this isn't as like appealing to the average not appealing that's macabre but it is like

people want to see death and destruction and morbid shit and so when you hear that someone killed themselves on there it's more like wow that's crazy shit going on if you hear that someone dies on the stream it's still like crazy shit going on but it's not like someone orchestrated that it was more of like a well that's random kind of thing i don't know i'm surprised that more people don't do it on live stream you know like you would have imagined i guess even 10 years ago that people would do stuff like that since a lot of the times you know it isn't an outcry for help or attention or something like that you know yeah you know there's all those people who leave a letter that's like this is because of something you did and you know it's it's directed toward and it's like shit can you imagine getting a letter like that i love it everyone should do that everyone should

be like all right i'm killing myself these are the reasons why you know danny green fuck you in particular oh my god the time you held me down in gym class i've never thought the same of myself since then and um people should just put it out there oh by way, I'm sorry to eat during the show. My family's had a crazy day with hospitals and stuff like that, and I just didn't get a chance to eat. Oh, you feel free. What do you got there? It looks like a chicken sandwich

with some bread and butter pickles. Look at all those pickles she put on there. She knew who was getting the sandwich. There's a glass of pickle juice off camera you don't see. It's lemonade, but that would be good. Oh, thank God. I thought you were about to lift up a glass of pickle juice. I'm like, we're done.

Now, did she do the thing where she flicks the juice onto the sandwich? No, but I do know that thing, and that would be a winner. I would have to request that. Yeah, it's funny. My mother-in-law, she has a hard time getting around, so she leaves the lights on rather than makes extra steps. And today she came from the hospital, and she's effectively drunk off her butt.

And I'm like, God, you're like a teenager. You're coming home drunk. You're leaving the lights on. For heaven's sake. Are you going to make a big scene like when she's like like inching herself down on her medication you're like light on again in the bathroom oh of course the person who's not paying for the electric bill doesn't mind you know get over here turn it off like way too aggressive speaking of like the macabre thing with

the the live stream stuff you know how sometimes you'll go on Reddit All and you'll find a really high-rated post and you'll go through the top all-time of that Reddit and see everything? I found one, and I feel like I've seen it before, but it's called Morbid Reality. And it's just... I don't know why I spent half an hour before the show

just reading these things, because now I'm just upset almost. All right. Well, I got one to cheer us up after we go over morbid reality. It was like this whole subreddit is nothing but like suicide notes and sad shit of people being like, oh, two thumbs up on this Disney cruise. up on this disney cruise and it's like jack stevenson and his wife and 10 kids enjoy a disney cruise moments before a hammerhead leaps out and snatches the youngest and it's like oh god like and then you can't help but pose yourself into it and i can't ever like stop thinking like what were they thinking right then like they were thinking the same shit that everybody's thinking

when they get their picture taken like whatever who cares get this done smile what am i gonna do after this you know like that's what they're thinking and their lives are never the same like it it's fucked up in that way the worst morbid reality when you're gonna be that guy one of the worst morbid reality stories i read on there it was like a father and maybe two or three like late teen sons um and they were all athletes all the sons were at like various levels like these they weren't going to be in the nfl or anything and they were all athletes all the sons were at like various levels like these they weren't going to be in the nfl or anything but these were all athletes they played college football or lacrosse or some shit and they were staying in a hotel as we all have done and on the floor below them they were spraying it for bugs and they use a nerve toxin

for that apparently and that nerve toxin seeps into their rooms as they sleep and now they are forever paralyzed from the neck down and they all feel like they are trapped in their bodies 24 7 and they are going insane they got like 60 million dollars settlement out of it or something like that at all who fucking cares right like that's the point where it's like they're like you know there's all these things we do for certain amounts of money. Like at some point, yeah, I guess I'll cut my foot off. I've seen those robo-foots. They look pretty good.

But at no point do I want to live from the neck up forever, living – feeling like a prisoner inside your own body. What a nightmare, and it really is morbid reality because it's dark. It's horrifying. It's horrifying. morbid reality because it's it's horrifying horrifying the thing and all like the pictures of uh of artists or not even artists not like professional artists but like just regular people who enjoyed painting or drawing and it'll show like their progression is like this is him in 1972 when he was 26 years old he was still honing his craft and it's like here's him when he's 35 he's really gotten good here's him when he's 45 and 55 you know and then the 55 one it's like it's

not as good and it's like and here's him trying again at 60 and it's just like a couple lines with like dots and it's like this person has degenerative dementia or alzheimer's or something where it's like because you've never had that headspace of someone in alzheimer's you don't even know the extent to which they understand or don't understand how much they've lost of themselves you know like you'll hear about that guy there was someone who uh it came out that he had dementia no it was recent it was in the last week where some celebrity i don't recall came out said they had dementia and so i looked into him because i hadn't heard of him and he was like he's like 55 years old or something like that and he was saying that like he was concerned at how much he was

losing and that's got to be like the saddest ever, to know you're losing shit and know that eventually that piece of you that knows that you've lost something is going to go too. That's one of the differences in the different neurological disorders that present themselves in that way. Because Robin Williams' specific one, I can't remember the name of it. You're thinking of David Cassidy. He was before even my time. He was like the Justin Bieber of his day. He was in a TV show called Partridge Family, and he played the cute sort of lead guy.

And yeah, he was Justin Bieber from the 70s. Okay. I didn't know that, so that's a good way to... They were saying, though, that Robin Williams was very aware of every step that he was losing along the way, and that that was terrifying him. I heard his wife explaining this on CNN a few weeks ago at the airport. It sounded terrible.

So morbid reality, definitely a subreddit that I don't go to, and I've never certainly searched all. And they've done that, show me what you got! I've never done that. I don't know why I did. This is – it just puts you in a sad mood. And there's like creepy shit. Like it's not all just morbid. There's creepy stuff where it's like a picture of two guys,

two brothers sitting on a brick fireplace. And it says, you know, these are two brothers, Chad and Mitch Stevenson. And, you know, right after this picture was taken, they celebrated Chad's fake graduation from university and the people that chad had hired to murder his parents and brother showed up and killed them and they're like notice his hand and the guy who was next to his brother in the picture looks like a normal picture of brothers it's just two brothers smiling and you see the guy who hired people

giving like a little finger almost like jokingly to the picture and it's like right after that that genuine smile the little joke right after that someone came in during their dinner murdered his parents and his brother and it's like this is it's i don't know i've talked a million times about that one guy on a bmx bike was jumping over the great wall of china they snap a picture of him midair and it's such a big deal to me because i know he's about to land and die morbid reality is filled with that. It is just all kinds of pre-death and awful... Remember the

Disney story where the kid got taken by an alligator or crocodile? Yes. That was on morbid reality. That's the kind of thing that you're just like, terrible things happen in this world. Yeah. I forgot that we shipped over to the hell of a live streamer. Yeah.

Let's just have a whole episode of macabre, sad... Yeah. So I forgot that we shipped over to the hell of a live streamer. Yeah. Yeah. Let's just have a whole episode of macabre, sad. No. I want to go the other way. I want to talk about a subreddit. Yeah. See, this is the subreddit that I recently found. It's a pornographic subreddit, as you might imagine.

And it's part of a new trend on Reddit. I think it's a new trend anyway. It's much more upbeat. all right so this girl this this subreddit is sarah underscore triple x um and she is a new breed of sort of internet naked girl okay so it seemed like for a long time when when woody was first introducing me to reddit he said and there's this thing called gone wild and there's just tons of regular women getting naked and there's thousands and millions of regular guys who refuse to say one negative thing about them no matter what it's a real happy chamber for everyone chamber yeah the girls get naked the guys don't say shit and at least not they're never like oh you're you're areolas they're huge it's not that

there's a place of appreciation for everyone they're not you know college-age beautiful women sometimes you're like ah yeah like how does 600 people not mention the c-section scar on the internet this is the mean but they don't because we're men and that's how we operate we're much nicer people than than women are but this is crazy how much everybody has an agreement in those forums an unspoken agreement where it's like if you see somebody saying like man those stretch marks are disgusting what the fuck is up with that hairdo or whatever people they're gonna give vibes they're not even gonna comment it they're just gonna give vibes male vibes to the computer and that guy will sit there and be like oh my god i've just

insulted the girl posting naked pictures of herself for free on the internet she's not gonna be confident enough to do it i I need to validate, validate, validate. Everything validating, you know? And you go over there, and it's just nothing. If you ever go to any pornographic comments, it's nothing but validation. Which I feel is almost like a concerted effort to be like, keep it going, keep it coming. If people were as mean on those subreddits as they are on twitter they would not exist no but but what i'm getting at is there's this new breed of like internet naked girl um i'm

i'm pulling short of calling them like e-whores or anything like that because they're not fucking people for money they're just getting naked it's a different thing and and what you have here is for a long time girls would just get on there and be like hey look here are my tits and then maybe never post again maybe they used an alternate account but now what you have here is for a long time, girls would just get on there and be like, hey, look, here are my tits, and then maybe never post again. Maybe they used an alternate account. But now what you have is girls go on there, and they become so popular that they create their own subreddits. And then they become businesswomen who have tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands sometimes fans. They'll move those fans back and forth between their Instagrams and their Reddit accounts. They'll move those fans back and forth between their Instagrams and their Reddit accounts.

They'll sell panties that they've worn and special videos where they're like, oh, Woody, yeah, I wish you were here. And they're masturbating or whatever. And they make tons and tons of money. And there's even rivalries amongst these girls. Recently, Jewdank, that was this girl's username. It was Jew because she's Jewish and Dank, D-A-N-K, because maybe she likes weed. But very hot girl, really nice ass and like really good shape. And she was a great smile and she'd just constantly be naked and she'd make GIFs of herself. That's the other thing. These things are high tech. It's not like they're snapping cell phone photos.

They're creating high definition GIFs of themselves, like doing the things that guys like to see. And they create a whole community. Well, there was this rivalry between Judank and Scrandle. Scrandle is much better. The Scrandle? The Scrandle. You fucking look up Scrandle. She's badass and no shame. And so Judank ended up quitting Reddit altogether,

and Scrandle reigns queen now. But this Sarah underscore triple X chick is like perfection. Every time I see one of her things on R All, I'm like, oh yeah, let's watch this gif. Holy shit, ah, she's perfect. Big fan of hers. Big fan of this whole genre of I don't know, I don't know what to call it.

Capitalism, you know, isn't it great? I mean, have you clicked a few of these videos? I mean... Oh, you linked it, my bad. Oh yeah, that's her. I mean, she you clicked a few of these videos? I mean... Oh, you linked it. My bad. Oh, yeah, that's her. She's just very nice, I think. I gotta exit out of morbid reality. I'm done with this for now.

Why aren't you looking at the naked girl? Because there's billions of them on the internet, and it's not interesting. We're discussing right now, though. This is a particularly hot one, too. You too you know she's hot but in my opinion she's she's attainably hot yeah yeah are you looking at her now yeah yes it's one of those things where it's like this like it's sometimes it's almost better to not see like the 10 out of 10 or 12 out of 10 like so hot it's like i've never even seen somebody who looks like that like that's there's there's computer shit going on here but then when

you see a girl who's like no not normal like more average like it's easier to be like oh i bet that's what that hot girl looks like naked that i saw at the grocery store today like your english lit class at university of south carolina has two or three of them, I would argue. Sure, but none of them who will sell you their dirty panties for $25. Have you offered them? Oh, I've offered it. Count the cute socks of money. They just get more.

You watch those videos where a guy, there's a girl jogging in the park, and the guy's just standing there by the side. He's like, hey, what's up? And she stops stops and he's pointing a huge hd camera at her of course yeah yeah hey what's up hi you know just jogging he's like yeah yeah you're looking good doing it too how'd you like to make say and it's always like it's not our currency it's like euros or something it's like how would you like to make 8 000 kuros and they're like and i'm like is that a lot like i could i do i have 8 000 kuros because like and she's like oh i'd never blow your blow you here in the park for eight only 8 000 he's like what about 10 000 and then it cuts and she's just glog glog right there in the park behind some trees. And it's like, where are these incredibly slutty women who are just looking to make a couple hundred bucks?

So you can't see the – I can't share the things. But in the reflection of my golden play button, you can kind of sort of barely see them. So knock yourself out. Kind of sort of. I will say just to, just to give you the broad Yeah, you can. That's funny. You can mostly see her from the nose down.

She looks very pretty to me. I'd say her body is like an 8.5 or a 9 or something. It's very fucking nice. Her boobies are perfectly symmetrical. She's got ghost nipples, which is another subreddit I'm a fan of. Nice butt. Her vagina is a simp, which is another subreddit I'm a big of. Nice butt. Her vagina is a simp, which is another subreddit I'm a big fan of.

Are you with the simp vagina, Taylor? I know it has to do with Homer Simpson and the way his lips are. And it's different from an innie because an innie and a simp are slightly different. An innie both have very small inner lips that don't protrude or stick out like a cat that's on drugs. But the difference is the simp obviously looks quite a bit like Homer Simpson's mouth turned sideways.

And it's a little more plump of a vagina than the Innie. Yes, a fat vagina, if you will. One that you could – you ever see that gif? I bet Woody has. I know Woody has. Where the girl is like flicking her vagina, and the vagina goes down, down, down. No, I've seen it. I would never see such a thing.

We've all seen that GIF. That's a great GIF. It's a great GIF. And you know what? For all those people out there, all you perverts who are buying panties at huge markups from these girls, let me say, here's a business tip for you. Go volunteer for two days at a Goodwill or wherever they put down, you know, people donate clothes, you know. They'll give you a t-shirt to wear while you're volunteering. You keep the t-shirt.

You go home. Big donation days before tax season, you go and undercut goodwill. You go stand to where you drop the clothes off, but you stand just out of line of where the goodwill employees are. And you have your own bin. And you say this is for ladies wear. You know, you stop them there. You say, get the ladies wear here. You can go back to those gentlemen and they'll get your tax write off slip.

And then they'll walk over there and they'll go, that guy sent me over there. And they'll go, who the what? We're the only ones who work here. And by that point, it'll be too late. You'll be running off and ate out like a bandit. And think of how much money they'll save. If you're a real entrepreneur, if you're a Cuban type, you'll resell those online and get your own economy going.

See? You're missing the most important part of the girls selling their dirty panties to men economy. And that is that you don't just want random dirty panties. We don't want nasty ones. We want used panties from the goddess that, and by we, I mean

these men who are paying for them. I certainly wouldn't buy your goddamn underwear. I might pay you to fuck me, but I wouldn't. It's not a pretend woman, though. In this case, it's a real lady. It's not her persona. She's not Remy Lacroix. She's not a pretend woman though it's in this case it's a real lady it's not her persona she's not remy lacroix she's not a porn star who's like this is side business this is a girl on the internet you that you're familiar with seeing her naked maybe you can follow her and you have some

semblance of what her personality is like and you're and she's like oh by the way anybody wants some uh used panties uh these panties in fact that i'm masturbating in in this video that you love to watch so much like i'll sell them to you for 25 bucks and these guys are like sign me the fuck up right and she's just got 80 90 pair of the same panties she's just mailing them off. I know nothing about this but they'll do like a photo shoot at the gym of them like on the exercise bike and then be like these panties are for sale and some guys are, those panties, they're not going to be like fresh these days. They're going to be exactly what they're looking for. Yeah, they're not going to mind us.

At my prices, they're going to have a lot of suspension of disbelief because I am going to undercut hard. It's almost like when you go to the Gap and you buy a sweater, you know that little Cambodian child wore their fingers to the bone getting those little threads in there that they can sell it for six bucks with a perfectly diverse cast dancing on screen and a way too late Christmas theme or whatever the fuck Gap is doing. But you buy it anyway because the price is so low you don't think about it.

You know? Same thing. They're going to come to Taylor's Panty Emporium. Works great because my name is androgynous. And they'll just believe it. They'll be like, is this my hot girl? I don't know. But this is six bucks,

and Suzy Q ass cheeks is 130. So I'm going to make do. Well, all I know is I am very attracted to this Sarah XXX person. I wish I knew where she was in real life. Not that I'm going to back her down or anything. I could just be waiting by that path as she jogs past me with my camera and be like, hey, you want to make 800 kilos? You know, like I do this pair right now. She might sell them.

She'd be terrified that she'd been recognized in real life and she would shoot me on the spot. She'd be like, I need to stay with Kyle. And like run. Women who are doing this kind of thing i hope they're all carrying mace or a gun preferably around they need to get their used to be a blonde there used to be a blonde on reddit who was i'm gonna say 30 32 maybe very attractive and she photographed herself with a dslr she didn't have a cell phone and she was always had this like coy little smile as she and she she was very a DSLR. She didn't have a cell phone and she always had this coy little smile. She was very classy.

It wasn't as lowbrow as some of the other nudes on the internet. I don't know. It felt almost like a model shoot where she was wearing very nice lingerie and she was a perfect body and everything. She's always snapping pictures of herself in the mirror with this DSLR

and always concealing enough of her face that she wasn't completely revealed. But I haven't seen her online in quite a while it's it's same same worries about us to dick pics never put your face in your own dick picture it's just like the Anthony Weiner no it's not you just angle away from your face I mean it's hard to get your face into the dick pic pick like what do you think yeah right you'll take them laying down with your hand but see that wasn't a lesson that too many people learned look at Brett Favre look at Anthony Wiener these are real examples of guys who

took pictures of themselves and they saw their dick and their face their fucking super bowl winning famous as fuck face and we're like yeah this is this won't get out first of all are there Anthony Wiener shots with his face and penis in the pic together? I think there is. Because it was just from his Twitter.

I haven't actually seen any of those photos. I've seen a lot of those. I've heard interviews of the girls that he was texting with. The girl that he was sexting with at the center of the controversy went on the goddamn Stern show and dished everything. She's like, oh yeah. He'd call me up and be like, oh baby, I'm so horny. controversy went on the goddamn stern show and like dished everything it was a real and she's

like oh yeah he'd he'd he'd be he'd call me up and be like oh baby i'm so horny and he'd have to jerk off at lunch while i talked dirty to him and she like really spilled the beans on everything that wiener is into um and that's that's what you get with those liberals those sex crazed dims over there can't make a senate hearing without he wasn... I just read someone else's who was really bad. I tried to remember. Like a public nudity photo you're talking about? It was the text that he was sending.

I can't remember who did it. Is it a politician? I don't even remember. I shouldn't have brought it up. I lost it. I wish that would work. to ask 20 questions to try and figure it out. I wish that would work. But for 20 questions to work, the person you're asking the questions to has to know what you're asking.

I can't be like, is he tall? And you're like, I don't remember yet. Come back to that one. Yeah, right. You're going to have an infinite number of questions. Ask me another one. Maybe it'll trigger it. But yeah, Sarah underscore triple X. Kyle's a big fan. So if you happen to know her just let her know um if you have to know where she is just slip me her address i'm not gonna

i'm not gonna go there you know nothing like that i don't like that um i mean you'll go to the forum and i'm sure a lot of people from pka are gonna go to the forum now yeah yeah go to her subreddit yeah give her some business buy some of her panties i don't know that she sells panties uh but that's just the common business model among people like scrandall and jew dank and always has been um so i saw they added like three fights to the ufc card um it looked like a couple of them were women's fights i think it's going to fill out that um this is the 209 card right yes it is uh so it's a dozen fights now. It's next week, March... Is that the next one, 209? Fourth or something like that. March 4th, maybe.

Does that make a week? I must be a little mixed up. No, you were right. The one that's coming soon, they just added some... Or is it not that one? Because there's no new fights. There's certainly no women's fights on this. Unless they just didn't show

them or maybe it's only rumored uh we're ready to add kitty oh yes um i think oh there she is i'll have to fix the format

a third person for magic talk hey kitty oh hello how was your uh how was your fix the format. A third person for magic talk. Hey, Katie. Oh, hello. How was your camp shower? Oh, God, it was still cold, man. I'd used the kettle like four times, but whatever. Yeah, our hot water

heater tonight started leaking and really flooded a bit of the basement, and so no hot water for the evening. i took myself a freezing cold shower i was screaming so loud i'm sure you guys could hear me screaming i was hilarious i didn't know his voice went so high oh i don't like those freezing cold showers uh when i just you know i just get in and i just let loose i just start that's the worst do you ever have people who brag to you about like

oh i take a cold shower every morning i fucking hate those people well kyle before he did it was like oh it's gonna be invigorating and then like i hear these screams yeah it was invigorating i could feel that stubbing your toe is invigorating like Like, oh! Like, I'm with it, I guess. Yeah, his voice was really high. You've tweeted stuff of him singing in the shower before where you kind of catch the behind the music of Kyle's life as he's singing. He does it every morning, but sometimes

I'm just busy, but if he's singing particularly loudly, I'll try and grab it. I like to sing. I sing all day. It keeps me in a happy mood. What's that? It keeps you a good singer for a not trained singer.

Yeah, I do. I think I can carry a tune most of the time. I memorize lyrics really quickly. Most of the time, I'm not just singing and then all of a sudden, I know all the words to the songs. Most of the time, I actually I'm not just singing and then all of a sudden I know all the words to the songs. Especially in the bathroom with some good acoustics. With the reverb.

There's nothing better than humming. I don't sing in the shower ever, but sometimes I'll give a nice Lord of the Rings theme song hum or a Game of Thrones intro hum and you try and get it to resonate exactly right and it sounds real loud. Yeah, I think that's what you caught me singing in the bathroom i was doing that i was like no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no i like just i i think i noticed because usually you're singing some kind of old timey country

music or something so this was something. It wasn't the usual like... Yeah, I'm singing like Delta Dawn or some old like 60s or 70s country music. Something that has some twang and I can really let loose with. Can we hear a sample? Hmm. Delta Dawn, what's that flower you had on?

Could it be a faded rose from days gone by and did i hear you say he was meeting you here today to take you to his mansion in the sky and so i'm just always just in there screaming not bad really it's so much better carry it a little bit can't really say i've been able to sing on youtube now and then i don't mean to brag oh you are the worst singer of all time awful thing that makes me uncomfortable and i'm like i i watched your singing videos and thought like there were times where i was watching it and thinking like he is trolling us he has hit all the last five notes i know nothing about what note you're missing but i have ears and i'm like every single one of these has missed he couldn't possibly

miss every note consecutively like that unless this was on purpose no i i can get quieter but not better um i really i can't sing i don't pretend to be able to sing i i just ignore it those were fun days you know but like i i feel like if i sang one bar now the reaction would be so much different than back then where it was like this is fun yeah it's not fun like going back as long as i can remember like if i do sing like if like any like church or shit that i had to go to and sing if like god muted everyone as i'm sure he does from heaven like mutes everybody but one that i had to go to and sing if like god muted everyone as i'm sure he does from heaven like mutes everybody but one person to see who's singing and who's not god's very anal about who's praising him loudest he would like meet everyone but me and just hear

like praise his name praise jesus he's the best whatever like just whispering it like along with the music oh i hated that oh there's nothing worse than having my mom sit next to me in church and be like sing taylor it's like, there's enough people singing. Like, they're singing all over the country. Like, God's not going to mind if one guy isn't singing. It's going to be okay. My parents came to visit last weekend. And you mentioned the thing about God praising.

So here's the deal. My father went off to college. He went to Rutgers Camden and it didn't go well and I've heard this story through my childhood like a dozen times he got in with these other people and he played pinochle all the time I don't even know this game I know it's a card game he played pinochle and he'd miss classes and he just wasn't like I don't know he was his head wasn't in the game when it came it's a very old timey form of deviancy okay so so his head wasn't in it you know when it came to college and um you know he dropped out he got a job at some insurance company working in finance and

and his mom insisted he goes to school and he ended up adding night school to his list of responsibilities and finished that way and career goes on anyway he retold the story to me more recently and he said i went to school man it was too liberal it was too liberal and some of the things they try to teach you like geology it's not true they try to warp your mind and he doesn't believe in geology because it it disagrees with his Christianity and it was five thousand year old earth does to jump in what a year they're like born-again hardcore like six thousand years old earth like that form of Christianity correct yeah

it seems that way I mean like well I'm not well and I'm listening to it and I'm you've rewritten your history and you're in a cult like it's Christianity but it's it's it's a cult anyone would identify it as such and like I don't even know what to do like he's my dad right he's above me I don't sit here and tell him how to live his life but you that's you're thinking about an intervention for your father stuff like this crossed my mind like i wish that there was a geological intervention could i call a cut like bill nye and he could bring some agate and some sedimentary rocks in here and sit him on the table could we analyze the layers could we look at that pre-cambrian

zone right there in the middle like like i feel't work though, right? I feel like for an intervention to work, that guy has to know somewhere that he's not doing the right thing, right? He's done so much heroin. The writing is on the wall. He's lost his girlfriend. He's lost his teeth. He's lost his job. And they're like, dude, you got to straighten up.

And it sort of is the kickstart into, yeah, I know that you're right. I bet the best way to bring it up to him, if he actually did want to, would be for not you to do it. Because if you are not a non-believer and you come at someone who is a believer, as with any religion, they're going to come at the conversation as like, you know, you're not going to change my mind. I was told there would be tests to my faith and I am filing this as a test of my faith because that's easy to rationalize.

That happens of every single religion. But if you have a Christian scientist, not that cult, a Christian who is a scientist, talk to him about it because there are so many fucking Christians out there who are like, yeah, evolution is just the way that God did it. Geology, just another thing for God. Time doesn't mean anything to God. Whatever. You can bicker like I'm sure the more devout Christians who believe the 6,000 thing would try and shoot holes through that. But it seems like that would be the route to take. Be like, I'm not trying to challenge the core of your belief. I'm just saying, why limit God to that small scope? That's a good way to phrase it, I think. I'm outside the loop on these things. But I guess the book of Revelations is one that does a lot of prophecy, like predictions and stuff. Oh, yeah, it's the last one. The book of end times it's really interesting a little crazy he was telling me

that it is more accurate than any newspaper you'll find out there right it doesn't matter cnn except for fox news even fox news they don't get it as accurately as the bible does the bible has completely predicted like what's happening now with the negotiations between palestine and israel and stuff like that the thing is like i feel like he's forgotten because he told me obama was literally the antichrist right not like i really dislike obama but obama is the antichrist a person that's been mentioned in this book he failed right and uh he's like the antichrist is going to try to bring them together and this is going to happen or whatever and he's laying it out for me i'm like so wouldn't that make trump the antichrist now you know he's like, the Antichrist is going to try to bring them together and this is going to happen or whatever. And he's laying it out for me. I'm like, so wouldn't that make Trump the Antichrist now?

You know, he's the one like trying to negotiate a settlement between these two. And he goes, no, no. I don't think Trump is the Antichrist. No, that doesn't seem right. Okay. They get so blinded. Like my mother has recently become very religious. And she got really sick the other week and just came out of hospital.

And she'd put her post up that how ill she was and that she was struggling. And literally two out of the six posts on her post on Facebook was like, you just need to pray harder. No, it's ridiculous. That's an actual thing. I mentioned Christian science earlier. That's a small, more cultish form of Christianity. We had a thing in high school where we went to a lot of different religions. We went to a mosque and talked to an imam fools, a lot of them, you know, that kind of thing. But basically, we were at a Christian science thing. And they are very much against medicine. And so they won't take medicine, they won't take any sort of medical help. And there was this, you know,

speaker giving it saying, like, you know, if you have if you have cancer, you just need to pray, God can remove that for you. Modern medicine, it may help you, but it's not going to or it won't even help you. You know, if God wants you to be healed, you will be healed. And this woman's assistant, another lady, had some glasses on. And this smarmy asshole in our class stood up and was like, I noticed that your assistant has glasses. Is that because she didn't pray hard enough? Is that because she didn't pray hard enough? And they didn't have an answer for it,

because that's really all it takes is just a simple kind of refutation of that more ridiculous thing. It's like, oh, yeah, well, then how is that different from heart disease? I hate people who aren't good on the fly. I hate people who aren't good on the fly like this. Yeah, she is farsighted. I think God wanted her to look closer to what's at home, though. She was looking too far at too many material things in her life, and her eyes started degrading.

Isn't that right, Rachel? Yes, that's true. So what you're saying is she's disobeying the will of God by looking farther away. Yeah, so now she can look at the things that matter the most, her family, God, her Bible, the things that she can see now. You know, anything farther than three feet away is blurry.

We need to make Kyle like one of those new evangelical preachers, because he can go on the fly think of the money we could pull in uh like i mean it's pretty profitable you still set up ridiculously stupid churches or did uh john oliver ruin it no you can i'm sure you could as long as you can because like john oliver's church was clearly like this is ridiculous we are joking what was it the church of of Tax Exemption or something? Yeah, something like that. If we could do it, like, Kyle, do you know enough about the Bible

that you think that you could twist things or pull out scriptures? I'm going to write my own book. There's too much in there. There's too much in the Bible that contradicts itself. I'm going to write my own book that actually makes some fucking sense. Eh, there's your first problem. Your book has to contradict itself because you need to be able to defend any

position on any given day. If it doesn't contradict itself, eventually there's going to be an uprising within your church or cult and they're going to split it off and you're going to be shot out of luck. Who knows? Here's how we do it. Taylor, you're the strategist. Kyle, you're the preacher. Does Woody get the boys?

I was like, I guess I can handle the checklist or something. And I'll just take, you know, 30%. Does Woody get the boys? Is that how they do it? I was like, I guess I can handle the checklist. And I'll just take, you know, 30%. You stand out in front with a British accent and welcome people in. Well, this wouldn't be a trick. I feel like a British accent might validate it. It will. It makes it more trusting.

The newest religion in from England, you know? We're testing it. Crash off the boat. That's what we'll do. If you guys have ideas for our fake religion and what roles we should all play and what our beliefs, our core beliefs should be, let us know.

And help us name the church. John Oliver's was Our Lady of Perpetual Exemption. I think something in that family would be fun. It also has to be something to do with Christianity because we've said a lot of ridiculous shit in the past, and so we're going to have to have a come-to-Jesus moment where we're like, you know, we've said a lot of things on this show that, you know, God, Dagnabbit,

I think that the good Lord wouldn't look down on so fondly. We need to reevaluate the way we do our shit. Oh, we can't say that. Sorry again, God. You know. That would be one of the things in my church. Curse all you want. Like there would be cursing in the sermon, I think. I think that you want to like untie some of those things that fetter the masses.

Like there's too much control in most of these modern religions. You can't do this. You can't do that. But people like the control. They like to feel like by obeying something, they're doing something. You know who started this doing something, you know Who's Kyle you're saying just people hanging out and being like and I leave and you're gonna be like whatever man Be able to get their money have you watched

He had a Netflix special and I'm not your guru. Yeah, and a Christian speaker or what? No, he's a netflix special and i'm not your guru i'm not your guru yeah and a christian speaker or what no he's a motivational speaker and uh he's actually very good i i've i'm almost embarrassed to be like what'd you say it's not embarrassing to go to a bad name no tony robbins is a very respected like motivational speaker like like he is not he is the the guy who's actually doing a good job as a motivational speaker and helping lots of people achieve like their goals and stuff amidst a mass of scam artists and con men who also claim to do the same thing so yeah there's nothing did you go to a tony robbins uh no i watched one on netflix but like i've uh i remember when i was a teenager my parents brought his bought his tapes for either

my brother or i we both ended up listening to it. And like a lot of motivational speakers or books or whatever, it wears off, but it makes me the super me. And then it really needs to be refreshed. I'm like a plant that needs to be watered with good influences. I can't just be – Yeah, I think I've seen a thing on Reddit. Maybe it was a meme that said something about how uh um motivation needs to be watered daily or something like that i don't remember the verbiage

he has started purposely dropping f-bombs all over the place he i think he called it like the science of bad language or something like that and uh he does it because he wants to catch your attention you know he'll be like taylor this is fucking important yo pay some goddamn attention to what i'm gonna say next and people are like you know like they tune in and uh it was interesting to me that he just kind of like breaks any kind of cultural barriers because i think like i have to um like guard myself to remove all the bad words and i think he does the opposite i think he intentionally injects the bad words when they don't come naturally to him yeah he talks about

the power of shock okay like and how that is i just thought it was a pretty unfortunate name for his documentary like he is incredible but the way people were crying and and getting all excited and just the way he presented himself i and getting all excited and just the way he presented himself i just felt like the name of the documentary being i'm not your guru and then he does everything that makes him a guru was just slightly weird seeing backwards yeah yeah i i see where you're coming from there where it's like i'm not this thing Don't try and peg me down. Now watch me do exactly what everyone in my career does. You know, it comes down to doing something. A lot of people out there doing nothing.

You got to get up, have a little motivation, do something. Have a good breakfast. Three eggs, no more. Three is a good amount of eggs. Whatever, ridiculous. Three is a good amount of eggs. You'll be well fed with three eggs, I'd say. You ever had like a six egg omelet with a bunch of meat and cheese in it? It's not a good way of eggs. You'll be well fed with three eggs, I'd say. You ever had like a six egg omelette

with a bunch of meat and cheese in it? It's not a good way to start the day. That's like two pegs above IHOP. That's a lot of food. That's no way I could eat that. That's why you got to drink your eggs. You just drink liquid eggs and they're just down the hatch. I've been getting egg white omelettes lately.

Because the deal is, they're the good, that's like the best part. According to like today's uh science like like three years from now i'd be like oh my god take the white out only yolks i guess the makes you fat and the egg white is like the healthier whatever so my wife makes omelets and i get all like the lean stuff and my mother-in-law gets all the fatty stuff because it's to each of our benefits is way more straightforward than the supplement and nutrition and dieting industry want us to believe i feel like they could put everything

you need to know in like a four-page pamphlet for like basic nutrition where it's like hey make sure you have all of these vitamins hey make sure you eat about this much eat about this many carbs eat about this much Well, it's not down to an exact percentage. It's calories. It's only calories. Think of your body like an engine. It's not going to build fuel out of nowhere and get you fat. I was reading about that today, and someone was like, I was on the PKA sub

right, how much people give me shit. But a couple good points were made in there. One, Kyle says it's only calories. It's all you need to know. Calories in, calories out is thermodynamics, et cetera. And my thing was, my stance on that is, I think Kyle is 99.9% right, which is to say effectively right.

There's just a purist in me that says, well, you know, it's gotta be a little more complicated than that because people aren't campfires, right? And, but if you pay attention to calories in and calories out, you'll get the desired effect because 99.9% right is right enough. Someone else was explaining my position better than I did. They're like, well, you know, because the way they used to measure calories, apparently I'm out of date. But the way I was taught in school is they take the food, they dehydrate it, they burn it, and they see what impact it has on raising the temperature of water, right? By that measure, a lump of coal or,

you know, little sip of gasoline will give you way more body fat than something else, right? So calories, how well it burns and heats water can't be the perfect measure. It's good enough, you know, I'll admit. It's gotta be a food item. It's so good that it's like you don't even need to take another step. Like if your goal is to lose weight or to gain weight, it's like just math where it's like, how much are you consuming? Well, I'm eating 1,400 calories a day. Oh, well, you need to double that.

It has to be a food item, right? So for example, some people might not know this, bubble gum is plastic. It's plastic with sugar mixed in. So there's a lot of things in bubble gum that your body is not even using. It just passes right through. Again, 99.9% right is right enough. You can just monitor your body is not even using. It just passes right through. Again,

99.9% right is right enough. You can just monitor your calories in and lose weight. But there was a piece of me that was like, not good enough. Someone said that they've changed the way they measure calories to start. And this is a stranger on the internet, so it's got to be right. But they've started looking at carbs and fat and other aspects of it. And that caloric measure. It's all gluten. That caloric measure... It's all gluten. That caloric measure is not just drying it out and heating it anymore like it was when I was taught in school, according to a stranger on the internet.

This link right here is about a professor who went on a diet of nothing but Oreos and Twinkies and lost 27 pounds in 10 weeks. You're probably from vomiting. No, from only eating 1,800 calories worth of Twinkies and donuts and Oreos.

I've seen those Twinkies. You tried to get me to eat one. He probably just became bulimic. He ate it and he threw it up. A lot of people like Twinkies. They're so overrated. I'm not even going to try one. He had them and he was like, just try a bite.

Just try a bite. I'm like, no. It's like a treat from an era gone past. I like it. Imagine in 1816, some guy's walking along, and he goes, hey, have this, kid, and he throws you an apple. You're going to be like, oh, giddy up. A fresh apple.

Is that how I'm going to eat? Come on, some of the classics are going to last forever. That's exactly the same. Look at saltwater taffy. Look at hard candy. These are all-time winners. There's a reason Twinkies, or hostess, they were going out of business.

They were going to stop making them. Somehow, for reasons that I can't explain, Twinkies became the Harambee the Gorilla of 2015, and they had to save them, and now Twinkies are just barely hanging on. No one's eating them, right? I was like, no, you can't get rid of Twinkies. When was the last time, and now Twinkies are just barely hanging on. No one's eating them, right? I was like, no, you can't get rid of Twinkies. When's the last time you had a Twinkie?

Innovation. 18 years? No innovation at all. Taylor, you're very, very passionate about Twinkies. I'm very passionate about how much they suck. They could have been innovating that whole time. They got in on the candy. There's chocolate Twinkies, strawberry Twinkies.

And they're all bad. As soon as Reese's came out with the fast break candy bar, Twinkies should have put that up on their marketing room slide and said, we're finished, boys. We're done. We can't compete in 2017 candy.

Put the next to Juicy Fruit, the bubble gum we don't sell anymore. Put this next to the one with asbestos where it belongs in the past. You know, they still put asbestos

in like everything though, right? I heard that. I don't care for it. Yeah, yeah. In, like, fucking everything. I thought that, like, whenever they discovered that asbestos has all those negative side effects, they were like, oh, never use that again. Nah, they just stopped using it in, like, consumer

goods. They stopped making asbestos like face warmers and shit, you know? They're still in buildings and breaks and shit. You've talked about MS warmers and shit you know it's still in buildings and breaks and shit you've talked about msg before and how you add that you've obviously heard the story of how msg is was totally trumped up nonsense how bad it was how it was just like one pissed off uh writer who was like oh this this food's got so much msg i'm probably gonna get cancer people are like oh my god you're gonna get cancer from msg've got to take it out of our food.

It ended up just adding a lot of flavor to oriental dishes. Is that the truth, that MSG is fine for you? It makes everything taste better. It's another kind of salt. It's known as a flavor enhancer. It just makes everything in the dish,

all the flavors meld together and become better. You put it in stir fry, that's better you put it on in like mashed potatoes like garlic and cheese that's better you put it in I put it in my chicken like that chick-fil-a copycat chicken that I make it there's a lot of MSG in that I was like why do they put it in food like because all I knew it was bad there must be some reason to put it in there and they said that it makes the flavors blend together in a better way which is something that i can't understand like i'm i'm genuinely baffled by it i would need to taste it with and

without msg because i don't like flavors sort of blend without msg i don't get it monosodium gluten make and they sell it at the grocery store. I have a big thing of it myself. I'm a big fan. Can you put into words what is a blended flavor? Have you ever had salted caramel? Yes. Where it's caramel and it has sea salt on top of it. It's like two very, very supremely different flavors.

But when you eat them both together, they mix perfectly. You got the sweet, you got the salty. Something like that. It's not that it's a math or a science thing, or maybe it is a science thing, I don't fucking know, but the stuff just meshes together. Butter and everything, for example. It's tasty.

Apparently what it does is it produces a savory, salty taste when added to food which excites your taste buds and stimulates the release of neurotransmitters which is why it tricks your brain into thinking it tastes better. Delicious. I don't know if I tried that. I don't think you release neurotransmitters.

I don't think they're releasable. It's on the internet for a random guy. We've already proven that random guys on the internet are right. It's the same guy with that whole calorie theory yeah i mean it's him we do not question sources here the next thing that we see and then that's the new norm like what did wing say exactly with like like with the pka stats. Do you remember what he said that started all this? He's like,

this isn't bullshit. This is statistics or something like that. This isn't facts. This isn't facts. This is stats. There's no... He's taking some interesting positions

on a lot of particular topics, whether it's metallurgy or hydrodynamics or free travel. Yes. Metallurgy is a great one. I don't want to poke at him. Yeah, exactly.

That's why I didn't immediately spill into it. I'm like, I don't really need exotic wings for no reason at all. From my original list, do you want to talk about milo or my local terrorist local terrorist local uh here's the article for you guys on the thing oh he looks like home right per i can't he looks white to me that guy looks like he touches boys

yeah you guys are so judgmental so umman says, don't go to carry tomorrow. Charged with making an online threat. Apparently, he said, for far too long, the Kofar, which means non-Muslims, has spit in our faces and trampled our rights. This cannot continue. I cannot speak of everything. Say your prayers. Sleep. Watch the news tomorrow.

It's only the beginning. So, he posted this on social media. They raided his house. They found an AK-47, 30-round magazines, 340 rounds of ammo, which is really weak sauce. They'd find more at my house. And I thought there was something else. Yeah, do you see what his quote here says?

In the following private message conversation, Grimsley said the following. For too long, the Kufar, non-Muslimlims have spit in our faces and trampled our rights this cannot continue i cannot speak of anything say your dua prayers i guess sleep and watch the news tomorrow it will only be the beginning yes i did see that did you that's i just that's the face of oh you I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I was reading the lower part of the article. I'm an idiot. That's funny, because you're like, hey, did you see this? And then, like, that's exactly what I just said.

I'm a jackass. Sorry. Okay, so this guy was local to you, especially in, like, the area that you lived in previously to where you are right now. And, like, how local? Like, call it 20-minute drive, maybe yeah that's it's pretty damn close well i'm glad they got this guy it sounds like yeah legit ish you know you don't know what he's gonna do the next day yeah you don't know yeah chances are like like you know nine times out of

ten this guy the next morning wakes up and he's like whoa did i really type that delete delete delete delete delete oh shit hope nobody read that don't don't pretend or don't like get too out of it one night and be like you know what uh let's watch the planet attack like that's ridiculous yeah you never want to go out there on social media like watch the news tomorrow shit's going down like you do that on 4chan not on twitter what was this guy thinking? That's not how you commit a terrorist act. What a dumbass.

You didn't see Osama bin Laden tweeting out, like, it's coming. Check me out in my little cave. To his credit, Trump doesn't do that. Remember Trump did one of his campaign talking points? Like, I'm not going to tell you the time and date that we're going to go take the oil.

You know, that just helps the people who want to keep it. It'll be a surprise. Yes. Yeah, I do like that. And it does make sense to me. And he has some point where he talks about, it's happened a lot of times, whether it's a news media. I think Geraldo got in trouble for this, right? Maybe back in Iraq, he was like,

and the 3rd Battalion here in Baghdad is about to storm in and take all those dirty bastards out. And it's live. And meanwhile, they're all watching TV like, oh, shit, they're coming. Everybody get ready. Geraldo says the bad guys are on the way. And they're like putting mines down and stuff.

Like Geraldo got in trouble for that. And the news media, yeah, rightfully so. Yeah, fucking Geraldo. That was very irresponsible. I'm sure he apologized, and I doubt he knew, he really fully understood what he was doing when he did it. I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt. Yeah, I want to think he didn't know the ramifications,

but you have to be pretty dumb not to think it through. You really do have to be totally stupid to not get it like if i had in my information like just sounded like if i got a random text from donald trump and it was like oh you getting ready for the invasion on next thursday or whatever i wouldn't be like screen capping and tweeting it and being like no one would do that like and so it's not even a journalism thing it's in him him being a total idiot thing because even if he was sitting at home and he got that information he he should have known like, well, this one's just for me.

Not going to read this on the internet. And it opens up to some criticism too because they'll be like, hey, Trump, can you rule out nuking Australia? Nope. Obviously, we're not nuking Australia. They're allies. But he'll be like, nothing's off the table. I don't rule things out in the press because that's you know that just the real question is why bother doing that like why i can't imagine something happening

where anyone needed to bomb australia well that's just hyperbole but but what he's getting at is like on any serious substantial issue they're like they're like look you've said in the past that you might go back into iraq and take the. Now, is that something we should be worried about? Hey, nothing's off the table. You've set our nuclear weapons off the table in Syria. Hey, nothing's off the table. And it really should be like that because you're going to have to go into a meeting with other world leaders or diplomats or whatever and hash out these deals where one side wins a little more than the other. It's a strong negotiating point when the other side's like, he's not even taking nukes off the table. This is just a golf course we're talking about here.

It's a strong negotiating standpoint. And I think when Trump's presidency is over, I hope, I think we all should hope, right, that we look back and we go, wow, he didn't do everything we wanted and he did some crazy shit along the way, but he really did stand by a lot of his more uh talked about positions and he really did you know fight for the what's good for america and i hope that that's what happens at the end of this too much where i feel like most people have been posted i do think on the environment we're headed in a very wrong direction yeah he's all about the legacy energy policy you know these oil and gas and nuke you know that if it doesn't fuck up the environment they don't like it and um and then

of course the epa guy didn't he just have like 7 000 emails released or something like that yeah scott and the thing is he's actually sued the epa multiple times and was mid-lawsuit just before he was nominated like he was in the process of suing the EPA. Yeah. And I guess within the next week or two, he's going to be getting rid of the Clean Water Act and the methane restrictions. They're going.

If they don't pass, I think Trump's already said he'll executive order them away, which is a little concerning because, you know, who needs clean water, right? The stock market seems excited about it. Who? The stock market, you said. I just, I can't get on board with the dirty air.

It doesn't seem fair to use the stock market to take credit, though. Because, like, that would be, like, there were times when the stock market was doing really good. Not really, not this good ever, obviously. But it was doing okay under Obama. It was doing good at some points points but it's not like i don't know it's just it seems because then when the stock market does go down if you're going to take credit for it being because of trump now you have to take that loss as well you know it just doesn't seem like the best i don't know they said something the other day that the stock market was on a winning streak not seen since the 80s or something like that i think some small part of it definitely has to be all of Trump's deregulation talk and all of his taxation talk.

Like there's a lot of pro-business stuff in there that if you're a major corporation, you're looking at it. And, you know, apparently they think that's a good thing. They're going to make a lot of money in the coming quarters and years. But I think they're also going to miss out on a lot of money. So Jeff Sessions is about to take back Obama's restrictions on, you know, he was trying to get rid of private prisons because that's a huge issue right chart. I gave you the link, right? This is what the stock market's been doing. And you can see it's on a little run up lately. I don't know exactly when Trump started his term.

What was it? It has been on average higher since Trump. I'm not particularly a Trump supporter. For people watching, Trump took over right around here where my mouse is. I see a trend that looks kind of the same since about 2007. U.S. stocks on Wednesday were looking at their longest record-setting streak in

25 years. The Dow Jones Industrial, S&P 500, and NASDAQ Composite all climbed. If all three indexes close higher on Wednesday, it will mark five consecutive days of all three setting record highs at the same time. The longest such streak of simultaneous records since a six- That's a bullshit streak. I don't really care how many consecutive days of all three setting record highs at the same time the longest such streak of simultaneous record since a six session yeah I don't really care how many days in a row

yeah that's a total bullshit like oh they all went up five days in a row that's not a thing but I'm looking at the stock market you know from the long term here it's a market watch article this isn't laying on a whiteboard I'm not saying that it's incorrect I'm'm saying that it's a bullshit thing to measure. Like, if the thing goes up... Five days isn't really long enough. Yeah, five days in a row of going up, you know, like that, I could give a fuck. But I do care about the long term.

And if you look at that, this to me looks more or less the pace that's been set through Obama's term. Right? Obama took over in 2008. So it actually dropped at first when he joined. He joined right around then. And then went up for the next seven years. So I don't see the Trump stock market doing something that the Obama stock market didn't. Now, if it continues to go up unabated, that's pretty amazing.

But it's just a continuation of the existing trend so far. I think there's just something, too, that MarketWatch.com wrote an article about it, though. Like, I don't know enough about the markets to know if this is a thing that matters or not, but they seem to think it was, and that's what they do. I mean, it will go up for a bit with all his deregulation, and he's trying to get companies to manufacture in the U.S.

Those things are good for the economy. I'm not really a fan of Trump, but I don't think we have to worry about the economy. I think we have to worry about everything else while he's president. But I do think he's going to be good for the economy because he just, you know, he puts companies like, you know, he'll call them out. You know. Yeah, he puts companies, like, you know, he'll call them out, you know. Yeah, he does. I don't know. The whole stock market thing, it's like, it just seems like whether or not it's up or down,

like, it's hard to make that connection with the actual president, you know? Yeah. Like, it just doesn't seem like it's a good argument in favor or against Obama or Trump, because it's like, like, they've presided, well, Trump hasn't presided over a bad time in the stock market yet, but it's so new. Like you were saying, it's such a small sample size. It will happen.

And when that does happen, you can't just immediately, because if you latch onto this argument now, then when that day comes, you have to be prepared to argue back and say, actually, it really tanked now because of this other thing

and has nothing to do with this guy. It just seems kind of, like it's easy on an eight year long bull run and a lot of people are like look what trump did but oh yeah you know like i've seen that it's like you've been in the office what two weeks yeah four you know so it's on an eight year long bull run i've been watching it for eight years now and um the thing that kyle mentioned where they went up five days in a row, like all three of them went up five days in a row.

Five days. I do think it will. Kyle, they make news every day. It's all fake news. In fact, CNN's very fake. I'm not saying the stats are wrong. I'm saying it's such a insignificant stat. They write about shit every day.

Not a little fake. I think it will go up steadily, especially as the deregulations and everything come in that Trump's talking about. I think it would be very, very strange if the stock market didn't start going up when

those laws passed, and I'd want to know why. So what you were saying, Kitty, about liking how he calls companies out. Like, I like that in a way because the companies know they're no longer untouchable, but I also don't like the shit. Like everybody was raving about his carrier thing where he saved some jobs in Indiana.

Cause of that. It wasn't like 500 or something. It wasn't even, it wasn't even about the, uh, the number of jobs itself. It was like Trump, like we want you'll make business better by making it a business environment for everyone that is beneficial. Remove detrimental regulations that make it difficult to start businesses.

And you'll see, you know, a rising tide helps all ships. You know, everyone's going to help. But what he did is go, all right, carrier, you enormous air conditioning and heating company. I'll give you special little breaks and leeways and then we can keep some jobs here and meanwhile everyone's rah-rah shish boomba over keeping jobs when really it's like okay well he kind of just said to all the small time and mid-tier air conditioning and heating companies with their own employees ah i don't really care about you as much i'm going to give them special treatment i'm just so like that I didn't like that at all.

Okay, train. You know, carrier competitor, train to your A&E. But you're fucked because the government just gave carriers $7 million to lower their cost of operations. Yeah. You're not making it a better – it's not a better business environment. Every business can't take it and thrive off of it, you know? When I meant call them out, meant like hey you know x company why are you closing down your plant and going elsewhere i don't think he should be able to give

uh beneficial treatment to one or another in fact i get quite frustrated when i see him on twitter that's like oh these guys are great go purchase all your shit here or whatever uh you know i don't think that should be around allowed and i don't think that should be allowed. And I don't think he should be publicizing that on Twitter because I think I question his motives at that point. I do believe Trump's presidency will be run on his ego and his statistics and his ratings. But, you know, I think to hold a company accountable, I think that's important.

Yeah, to put them in the public eye is definitely a different... They used to call them Benedict Arnold CEOs when they outsourced jobs, and I loved it. It was so pointed. You know, like, that guy's a Benedict Arnold CEO.

He is firing Americans and hiring Indians or whatever, a trader. And it just didn't even catch on. They should be calling out Tim Cook. They should be calling out, you know out CEOs from all over the place. In terms of Trump's ratings, which Kitty just mentioned, Trump might be...

Is he the most famous person to have ever lived? He is. Absolutely. No, you're wrong. You're wrong. He's the most famous person alive right now. He's the most famous person in the world. As far as the most person ever to live live like Jesus Christ and Muhammad probably have some If they're gonna say lovely, I was gonna say sure more people know

No, no Trump. No one's wrong is more famous than Hitler you people know about famous than Hitler. Yeah, no no no no Here's how I I don't know the president states And he was incredibly famous before he became the president United States And he's not just any president He's much more famous than Barack Obama will ever be because he gets so much goddamn news attention They are talking about him in Malaysia They are talking about him everywhere because people in every tiny little shit country in the world no offense to the shit countries who are listening in. Yeah, yeah. You know who you are. England. I could just come downstairs and like...

Yeah, come on down. You know, one of those people, you know, if you're one of those countries, you know, everyone is talking about how a Trump presidency

might affect them, whether you're an Australian or New Zealander or wherever you are on this planet. Trump might cause your life to change a little bit. And so everyone's discussing him.

They talked about this a lot today on CNN or Fox News radio, one or the other. I just think he's got to be. He's definitely the most famous person alive. There was a New York Times article about it. No, I don't do this very often, but I agree with Kyle. But I don't agree with it for quite the same reason, although I get it. But also, you know, Trump's really in the era of social media. You know, Hitler didn't have that like hitler stuff was somewhat confined to that kind of section of the world whereas as kyle said

they're talking about trump you know malaysia and things like that there was pretty newsworthy too i mean like yeah absolutely but news wasn't what it was most there were fewer people alive especially i didn't want to use that argument like I'm with you on that. There were fewer people alive. In the same way that Trump is the most powerful man to have ever lived in the history of the United States. In the history of the planet, Trump is the most powerful person ever. Because of the time.

Because of the time. Because he has nukes and stuff like that. So I didn't want to use the population of the planet. Because by that logic, Woody, you can be like, oh oh yeah namibia or some tiny little african country they're more powerful than gangas khan right was or atilla the hun where it's like yeah they have guns you can't go by that metric you say that and there is no way right into your fucking country no one is ever going to touch jesus on the most famous people of all time. Like it's Jesus and then like an enormous chasm to number two.

Muhammad, right? Like Muhammad is right there with him, right? It goes from Jesus and then PewDiePie is second. I don't think Muhammad is right there with him just because there's more Christians in the world than Muslims. But I guess everybody knows about all – And because Christians don't learn about Muhammad, Muslims learn about jesus as a uh as a minor prophet is my understanding probably wrong but jesus is definitely number one i would say number two is it's gotta be it's gotta at this point it might be my law you know anything you get them in the title

that's how you get views on youtube you mentioned oh my god punch it up with beauty i don't know that's a good question i i i would it would be hard to convince me it's not jesus like trump is over fucking near jesus no i like jesus too i think he's number one i just i he's got he's got to be crushing trump yeah okay, Jesus is number one. But let's go alive, people. I would argue this. Trump is probably more famous in his lifetime than Jesus was in his lifetime. Oh, absolutely. Of course.

Of course. He just couldn't tweet. Trump is the real metric that matters, I think, and the one where Trump definitely wins. Most famous guy alive right now. It's Donald Trump. Yeah. You can't argue that. I mean, there right now. It's Donald Trump. You can't argue that. It's got to be, right? You think about whoever your second

place is in your head and figure out if they're talking about him in Brazil or Venezuela or if they're talking about him across the world in every tiny shit country. Isn't there a soccer player named Messi? Messi? He's super famous too. He might be second.

He's definitely up there. You think he's more famous than Obama? I don't know his first name, do you? Lioness or Lionel? Lionel? Lionel? I know Donald Trump's fucking middle name. I know his daughter's names.

I know his whole family's names. I know how much his father loaned him when he was a kid. I know where he lives now. I know where his vacation homes are. Donald Trump is the most famous person alive. I didn't know his middle name was John until a week after the election. Oh, Don John.

You would think he would use that. I'm glad he didn't. President Don. Just add to his douchebaggery. Turn it up to 11. Imagine Don John Trump in person. I'd like it, yeah. I would not like that.

I love the fucking Trump presidency, man. It's so goddamn entertaining. I heard Spicer today talking about rec marijuana. That came up. What did he say? Basically, to boil it down, he said that in regards to medical marijuana, there's a lot of people that that helps. There's a lot of people who need it, especially people with terminal illnesses and donald trump has a big heart

and he feels for those people and i we don't see anything changing on that regard as far as recreational marijuana he seemed to have a different turn a different leaf immediately uh he didn't there was no harsh language or anything but he was definitely anti-rec marijuana um yeah and they're gonna start i think it seems like they're going to start I think it seems like they're going to start targeting or there'll be consequences for states that have legal recreational. Well, my point is Colorado

has just pulled in a billion dollars for, you know, what are you going to do? Are you going to take some of their federal funding away? That's fine. They're not going to give a shit. But I am concerned, right, because Trump said he'd leave it up to the states in his campaign and and i i hope he sticks to that i think people should have the freedom to do that oh they don't know about because he's doing the same thing with that and a lot of people say oh no you don't leave it up

to the states the president should decide who goes in a bathroom in Delaware and who goes in a bathroom in Texas. I like the states' rights. All that stuff should be states' rights. For him to say – to be harping on states' rights and then be like, actually, but we're going to correct down on Washington and Colorado. That's ridiculous. That would really piss me off if they started going – if he started going against marijuana legalization in states. That's just that's directly diametrically opposed. I mean, everything he's been saying the whole time about states rights.

So Spicer says that if you're looking to support cannabis rights, go donate to Normal. They've been doing it since 1970. So I want to get this right. He said there's a big difference between medical use and recreational use, which is something the Department of Justice will be looking further into. And then someone asked if there'll be greater enforcement. He said, I think that's a question for the DOJ, Department of Justice, but I do believe you'll see greater enforcement of it. So it sounded like that to me wasn't wishy-washy.

It sounds like they're going to crack down on the states. It's legal in D.C. So what happened was he started, the way he started, I don't know if you saw the press conference, but he basically started talking about the opioid epidemic and how it had to cut down and they were concerned about it.

And from there it went straight to marijuana so that it would get in everyone's head, whatever. So I'm concerned about that. I think it was a conspiracy that was planned to shift the ticket. Obviously. He was trying to mention marijuana and opioids in the same breath and then start talking about Jeff Sessions and the DOJ.

So it was a bit shitty because we all know there's a big difference between opioids and marijuana. But I think he's right in this regard. There's too much money in this at the state level where do you see you think colorado has made a lot of money look think about colorado and and just think about what you think of as colorado and it's it's state economy and where it is geographically tourist industry yeah skiing that's all it is right the skiing and the views now think about california which makes up the entire fucking west coast of our country virtually and is like the eighth or ninth biggest economy on the planet

they get wreck we uh weed now they're gonna make a lot more than a billion dollars next start did they just very soon i think it comes it depends on when it comes into effect you know what i mean it's different from state to state yeah typically it will be legal but then it will be some time until dispensaries are given licenses and things like that so although the interesting thing in this regard is that and i think you saw this mirrored a couple more times in the past is that california has a very well um established medical marijuana um system that that's very flexible and loose you know we talked about dr dude who will be yeah man, what ails you?

Done. I wish my hair was blonde. You gotta cough me too, man. You have hair. I think that they've already got the network of dispensaries out there. Every time I go to California, it's like, shit, they're everywhere. Not quite as much as Colorado because Colorado's really

gotten into it, it seems like. There's a green cross everywhere you look in Colorado, but California's going to make so much fucking money next year. And they're already talking about California, that is, as far as climate change denial and stuff coming out of the administration. They're like, oh, let him say what he wants. We're going to keep fighting climate change here in the state of California, regardless of what the president says. I think you're going to see the same thing happen with the marijuana stuff. There's like a dozen or so states with it now, and they're sprinkled all across the east and west coast and the center of the country. And you've got – is it maybe Arkansas who just voted for medical marijuana as well as Florida?

It's in the south now. North Carolina has got it decriminalized. We'll see. It's only a matter of time. It's a total losing battle to keep fighting against it because it gets more popular with the average. The average dude gets more and more okay with weed every day, and that's speaking about people who are against it.

It's hard to find someone even decades older than me who has a hard stance against it at it's hard to find someone even you know decades older than me who has a hard stance against it at this point like my grandparents are even just kind of like yeah whatever like my parents are like i don't i don't like it but it doesn't seem like something that's scary like they're afraid of the stuff they put on fox news like bath salts and math and like do that thing that you were talking about like spicer doing where he sets the anchor point at opioids and then quickly mentions marijuana to try and make you associate that but that's not working anymore most people aren't buying that shit because they've seen

and they know people who smoke pot and they're like yeah that guy's not crazy and I've even seen that guy high and he's not even as bad as someone who's you ever heard of Snoop Dogg? they like take a pause you know stem cells stem cells were obviously going to be a thing that helped people,

that cured diseases, that cured deformities, and it took an eight-year pause under W, because apparently stem cells are killing babies or something like that. Now, did Obama completely unrestrict the study of stem cells? That was like an executive order he issued. I don't know about that, because

I thought that there's a lot of different ways to acquiring the stem cells. And I think that at one point there was discussion of purposefully growing. What do you call a baby when it's inside the person? A fetus. A fetus. They're purposely growing fetuses to farm them for stem cells. And that was something that I think that was pretty matrixy. I don't like that.

And that was something that I think that was pretty matrixy. I don't like that. That, that was, that was the anchor point for the Republican argument back eight, eight or 12 years ago or whenever it was, it was like, they want to like farm babies out to like create, you know,

these stem cells when now we, it's not exactly how it works. Like, so I'm not an expert, but you can grow stem cells from stem cells. That's a thing. So what W allowed is he's like look you can no longer take stem cells from like placentas and umbilical blood or whatever it

is you know that they were using but the ones we already have you can continue to use those to get more stem cells since you know they're already out there and um i don't understand why they can't use the umbilical cord because that's one that i've always heard it's like you're just gonna throw that shit away like i'm not positive about that one i know placenta was part of it but whatever um but it wasn't like live babies or anything or abortions they were getting stem cells from they just considered these um cells that could grow into other things to be human life. And so W made it so you could only use like the ones that were already harvested. But, and again, I'm outside my depth.

There was some kind of problem because like some lab tech would fuck up once and all of a sudden, like there's a stem cell chain that's lost the population forever. And or like there's an infinite combination of humans and, you know stem cells that they came for me night might work for you i wish we could harvest them anytime we wanted to and uh obama like immediately made that okay and there's credit yeah i mean you can you can get them from like bone marrow you can get them from circulating blood and i think and umbilical cord blood so it's not just fetus or you know, whatever. The baby ones made it better. Like apparently

the umbilical cord blood is something as well. Umbilical cord blood? Is that different than other blood? I think you're talking about amniotic fluid or something. I think it's definitely umbilical. Oh really? If it was the blood, it would just be the type of blood of the child, right?

Because, I mean, the child could have a different blood type than the mother. Let's ask that guy on the internet. You know what? Let's get him on the line. Yes, we need the guy who knows about the carbs. Well, while you look for the guy on the internet, I'm going to tell everyone how they can eat healthy with NatureBox. Ooh.

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They're really tasty snacks. They're, I don't know, they're like healthy, all-natural cookies and chips, and they've got jerkies, and it's really good stuff awesome and uh why don't we wait for taylor to return um i'm going to uh i just want to on every ad there's like a do not say column and i'm about to tell you a little bit about casper but ch Chiz has a big thing in like red. Do not. So Casper mattresses are obsessively engineered American-made mattresses at a

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to not hard to remember at all what's on the do not list the do not lists are often interesting like if there's a tracking device they'll be like do not talk about putting it on your enemies and tracking them down for assassinations or if it's a um, they might be like, don't say Coke, don't say Coke. I guess you can't tell me on air what's on the do not say for Casper list. I sent you a little thing there. Yeah, I was going to say, for the sake of Chiz's mental state, do not read it out. We shouldn't even talk about the things we shouldn't say.

Let's dance around it and fuck with shoes. It's just going nowhere. It fucks with us all. Let's not do that. Especially since I sleep on a Casper mattress every night. I think Kitty has a Casper mattress. I do indeed. Yeah, they're wonderful freaking mattresses.

If you've ever seen that old commercial where there's a wine glass on the bed and a girl jumping up and down and they're dropping bowling balls um i've got my laptop in bed and like a can of soda and i'll sit the can of soda on the laptop next to the track pad and just get out of bed and walk away and my girlfriend was like ah i can't believe you're doing that and like i just hit the foot of the bed as hard as i could with my fist and the can went jiggle jiggle like barely moved barely moved at all i'm like i'm like what's the point you can jump up and down it's not gonna do anything

i love that about the bed and it's not some of those old mattresses that were of that class and back in the day not as good yeah i think the materials that the cast were using are very good i'm a big fan and the coolest part i think was you know watching the thing grow you know piercing the thing watching this thing unfurl and watching a pillow turn into a king size was watching kyle have to lug my mattress through the house with no help i i got one recently as well and i have slept on a lot of beds i thought were pretty big and i was ordering it i'm like i may as well get a king size like if like if i like i may as well get a king size and i grievously underestimated how big a king size bed is because i opened up the box

got it out and it started growing and immediately like when it got out to its normal size it was like expanding i'm like oh oh no like this is this is this is much more space than well yes this is never leaving this room yes this will be a wonderful bed for whoever finds it next it's gigantic but it's it's like a black hole right just put it there that it it's dense like the sun so when when I ordered my king-size mattress, that's when I realized that mattress sizes in the UK are different to that in the US. Really? I didn't know that.

Yeah, so the American queen size is a British king. And I guess I hadn't really realized that my American queen was that big. I don't know. I just get used to seeing everything's a lot bigger over here. So I ordered the king size and, you know, I'm building the bed frame. And I'm like, this is massive. Like, there's no bed as big as this in England.

If you want to get out of one side of the bed, but on the other side of the bed, it takes like three full barrel rolls to get up. Three full barrel rolls to get out. With what Kitty said, I'm putting it together. I think that my king-sized bed is bigger than the bed that the king sleeps in. Well, there is no king. There is no king. Nice try. You know, it didn't work if I said queen.

You can use this joke probably within the next ten years. Just put it in the burner. You guys are so overdue for a new king or queen. Like this lady has been going on forever. I'd like to take a picture with Trump before she dies. You know, she's had those pictures with like everyone from Kennedy or something. I want to get at least one more president in there. He's going.

Do you know the controversy around that? The big visit to England? I do. Why don't you lay it out, though? Ah, man. So, Trump, they have this thing, I don't know the exact phrasing, but they have a real fancy coronation kind of thing, where the president comes over,

and they really roll out the red carpet, and the queen meets with you, and everybody's in those damn carriages with horses, and it's like a royal and state visit. A state visit. and then they've offered yeah they've invited uh trump over um and they they invited the last two presidents over not quite so early in their terms of course but they did and there's a big hullabaloo of course over there with uh lots of uh what do you call your senators those those silly guys with the wigs yeah all

those assholes are like ah not you know a lot of them don't want him to come, period. And a lot of them don't want them. Trump currently is slated to address the British Parliament. And they don't want him coming in the Parliament chambers and talking to them. They don't want that. But it looks like it's going to go through no matter what. And of course, it'll be a shit show that everybody on the planet watches.

I've read that they're pushing off this thing to when Parliament is in recess so that nobody will be embarrassed yeah which is funny because parliament in england is like theater i mean it's what my learned friend is saying is he's a complete moron you know i don't know if anyone's ever watched Parliament, but there's jeering, there's laughing, there's mocking. I have. It is so much better than C-SPAN here. We have a bunch of assholes not doing anything. I watched a clip, it must have been Maggie Thatcher or someone. And I was watching her getting in a fight with this guy, throwing insults around the parliament floor or whatever. And she was like, uh, the guy was like,

you know, the distance between the top and the bottom of this country and income has never been larger. And she was like in a really snarky, mean thing in front of everyone, just being like, so what you're saying is you'd like to see this instead of this. Is that what you're saying?

And being like a smarmy cunt being like so you want everybody to be poorer and there were actually people like laughing at this guy in the middle of this where it was like man this is this is a lot more fun why didn't we bring this the fun yeah is it a prime minister who's on top in in the uk yeah yeah so um the prime minister has usually come from you know the members of, the MPs, and they're like well-conditioned and able to deal with this. And they blow me away because it's like they walk into there and they're like, all right, I don't know how many MPs there are, but let's do a debate, 150 versus one, go. And they hold their own. It's amazing.

I'm sure there's friendly people in there. Yeah, I mean, there's the left, there's the right, as there is over here. But everything's open. And it gets pretty insulting. Like, I've seen people referred to as drunken alcoholics and, you know, things like that. It's kind of like if there was, like, insult wars going on, but 50 years ago. Like, there's never really swearing. But it's like what my learned colleague is say

is implying i think he had a little too much to drink last night a little bit too much tipple you know that is very passive aggressive insult yeah they're calling them learned as a passive aggressive insult you know like i learned colleague over here apparently not learned enough i feel like there aren't any debates. There's just speeches to empty chairs. Oh, come on. Sometimes they bring snowballs in. They bring...

Don't they sit? They'll bring in visual aids. Remember when Netanyahu came and he had that old school cartoon bomb that's like a bowling ball with a fuse coming out of the top with a ran written under it? And he showed that it was three-quarters full, or it was like 98% full. He's like, they only need this much more.

And it's like, come on, they're not pouring jelly beans in a jar over there. They're fucking enriching uranium and mastering intercontinental ballistic missile technology. Get the amount of jelly beans or we take the West Bank. Oh, Bernie Sanders brought in like a tweet this big. It was like four feet wide from Trump where he said that I guess he was going to save Medicare or something. I couldn't figure out how to screenshot the tweet. I had my young grandson bring in the entire thing. I had difficulty

reading it. He printed it out on a standard 8.5x11 and I said, son, I can't read this. Go get it bigger. And out the kid goes. I struggled on the bus on the way here with it. For a second, like, For the first bit, you were

kind of going halfway between Arnie and halfway between Bernie. I just remembered that picture of him standing there with that big tweet like such an idiot. I'm sure they have a projector. You could have just emailed it to him, man. They could have put that up there, but no, he's got to go out there with a fucking clearinghouse check i think you're incredibly biased i think he

fucking nailed trump and made him an ass i think that i don't know what he's saying i'm saying bringing the big tweet on the poster board i'm saying that poster board like you can say trump tweeted this or you can show it right and there it is with all the retweets and all that shit under it. And I thought like, you know, it it it is impossible for Trump to do anything but either keep his campaign promise or obviously be a lying sack of shit. You've got to go Tony Stark on this. No, you're not. You're not. No, hang on. You've got to go Tony Stark with this. You're not, you're not, no, hang on. You gotta go Tony Stark with this.

I'd have came in there and I'd have put some tiny little piece of electronics down on the fucking table and pressed a button and it would have projected Trump's tweet up on the wall, like in 4K, huge as fuck on the back of the wall over there. He brought in a poster board. Like, that was silly. That was almost as silly as the guy who brought the snowball, I thought. Which is supremely silly. The guy who brought the snowball and threw it and was like, ah, global warming's bullshit. You see, I have snow here.

I mean, that was pretty compelling. I didn't even know that happened, so that's pretty funny. Yeah, that happened. You should have built a snowman, at least. I feel like a snowball's really half-assed. Like, I feel if Bernie can bring a check or a tweet that's this big on public transport,

I imagine he took out like 50 people on the bus on the way there. This guy should have bought more than a freaking snowball. How many times he was running down the hallway with the snowball and he'd get like almost to the floor and be like, fuck, this is enough snow to be compelling. Back to

the fucking yard. He's bringing it progressively bigger and bigger so it'll still be there. Sorry, in my head, that's a very funny scene. Do you want to do the Milo thing? Yeah. So this is the post. I'll read it, but my voice is like half gone. Does anyone want to

do it, or do you want me to do it? I'll do it. I am a gay man. I can't. This is a long comment. It's like three paragraphs. I'm a gay man and a child abuse victim. I would like to restate my utter disgust at adults who sexually abuse minors. I am horrified by pedophilia, and I have devoted large portions of my career as a journalist to exposing child abusers.

I've outed three of them, in fact. Three more than most of my career as a journalist to exposing child abusers. I've outed three of them, in fact. Three more than most of my critics. And I've repeatedly expressed disgust at pedophilia in my feature and opinion writing. My professional record is very clear. But I do understand that these videos, even though some of them are edited deceptively, paint a different picture. I'm partly to blame. My own experiences as a victim led me to believe I could say anything I wanted on this subject, no matter how outrageous. But I understand that my usual blend of British sarcasm, provocation, and gallows humor might have come across as flippancy. Somebody want to Google flippancy? A lack of care for other victims, or worse,

advocacy. I deeply regret that people uh deal with things from their uh they're from their from their own past in very different ways uh as to some of the specific claims being made sometimes things tumble out of your mouth that on these long late night live streams when everyone is spitballing uh that are that are incompletely expressed or not what you intended it It's very true. I think we can all agree that. Nonetheless, I've reviewed the tapes that appeared last night in their proper full context. And I don't believe that what I said, and I don't believe they say what is being reported.

I do not advocate for illegal behavior. I explicitly say on the tapes that I think the current age of consent is about right. I do believe sex with 13-year-olds is okay. He says I do not believe sex with 13-year-olds. Key difference. Sorry, little Freudian slip. Just speaking my heart here. I do not believe, hard to do that. I do not believe sex with 13-year-olds is okay. When I mentioned the number 13, I was talking about the age I lost my own virginity. I shouldn't have used the word boy, which gay men often do to describe young men of consenting age

instead of young man. That was an error. I am certainly guilty of imprecise language, which I regret. Anyone who suggests I turn a blind eye to illegal activity or to the abuse of minors is unequivocally wrong. I am implacably opposed to the normalization of pedophilia, and I will continue to report and speak accordingly. What a lovely vocabulary this gentleman has.

Yeah, he does great. So I was saying, like, Milo's shtick is kind of like, I'm a gay man, I like black dudes. And therefore I can say things that no one else can say. I can tear down feminism. I can talk about inner cities. I can do this and I can do that. And he tried to apply that to the pedo thing. You know, it was, I had sex at 13.

At 14, I was the predator taking out these priests and whatever. And I think he felt like he was shielded because of his own experiences. Who would comment a guy who was abused at 13 saying that you're pro-pedo? But it didn't work. Well, yeah, he openly admits that he plays the game of identity politics

to get away with saying even more provocative things that if he were just a straight white guy with a white girlfriend or something, he would have gotten slammed years ago. He's so open about it. Even saying in interviews, like, yeah, I play up the fact that I'm gay and that I have a black boyfriend or whatever.

It's a shield. Yeah, it's like, you know, it's just playing into that same thing that we should all hate, identity politics. Taking your argument for who you are, what color your skin is, what's between your legs, instead of what you're saying. I mean, I think you messed up here, because in the actual podcast, he talks about how it's not pedophilia, it's hyperphilia, as in when a boy meets sexual maturity, then should be fine as in uh you know puberty uh and that's where he referenced the 13 uh now just a note in england the age of consent is 16 i know it's higher over here but still 13 i think mentally is very young and then that kind of issue got

swept into him calling you know older gay men with boy, which is a term for a younger gay guy And I think they kind of got swept up with each other but he does go pretty specific into the 13 year old thing when he actually Backs it up by saying no, it's not pedophilia. It's it's hyperphilia. It's you know after puberty Even if it's like I think the the feeling that everyone gets when you hear that is even if you're like okay well i guess psychologically that's the right term or whatever when people hear it their first reaction is up somebody's trying to relabel something to make it seem less bad you know i disagree yeah all right let's get the we've done

this before let me get the actual definition of pedophilia. No, I know, but I'm saying that in people's heads, it's just anyone who's having sex with a child, and in most people's heads, a 14-year-old is a child, a 13-year-old is a child. Okay, sexual feelings directed toward children. It really boils down to whether you think a 13-year-old who has went through puberty is a child anymore, I guess. I do. I was saying, oh, you went through puberty as a child anymore, I guess.

I do. I was saying, oh, you went through puberty at 13, you lucky dick. I was getting to you. Don't worry. I was saving that punchline. I was like, and for Woody, maybe you're 20, 30 years old. Hey, that's still no good. Still no good.

These are just terms, right, that denote the physical level of maturity. Yeah. Only hair under one arm. So like a 10-year-old girl could be whatever you said it was called if she had started puberty already. Whereas if you start puberty until you're, I don't know, 16 or 17,

if you're a late bloomer, then you're not a hebephile or whatever you're called until then. There was this guy. It's actually Milo who said that. He's like, it's not pedophilia, then you're not a hebephile or whatever you're called until then. It's actually Milo who said that. He's like, it's not pedophilia, it's hebephilia. This is about the sexual readiness or whatever you want to call it of a child who has gone through puberty. So he was saying that it's not pedophilia because they've gone through puberty.

But I'm like, it's still a kid. Yeah. And whatever the kid is, the brain hasn't caught up yet. You know, that kid at 13, 14, even in some cases 16 that is legal in England, you know, they're not mentally ready enough to, I take it as that. Like you said, the mental readiness. Even if they're 15, right? I feel like kids, like you said, the mental, right. Even if they're 15, right. And like in Milo's situation, you know, he's like, I was the predator and the power imbalance,

the life experience that like, who's able to be more manipulative is leaning towards the adults so far that you just have to keep them out of the same game. You know, 15 year olds need to be fucking 15 year olds, not 25 year olds, because you know, that olds need to be fucking 15 year olds not 25 year olds because you know that the power imbalance is ridiculous and i i um i've been thinking someone described milo it might have been bill maher but uh i loved it it was fantastic he's like you know people say milo's dangerous and they're worried about him and all the impact. He's not dangerous.

And I'll add to it. Milo's not accumulating political power. He's not setting himself up for a run of having actual power. What Milo is, is a giggling teenager who drops a spider at the liberal sleepover party. And they all shriek and scream about how upset they are spider spider because milo said the wage gap is fake or milo said you know whatever and it's like if liberals would stop taking the bait and rioting in favor of safe spaces every time milo said that you know i was going to talk about gender imbalances or something, then Milo wouldn't have a career.

No, he wouldn't. The liberals are so predictably fired up by a couple of different issues that he can go from college campus to college campus and piss them off as a business model. It pisses me off. He's a professional troll. I mean, essentially. Provocative.

I'm not even convinced i believe half of what he says i mean with this whole pedophile thing i don't know i wonder like he was so determined in the podcast that what he was saying was correct that i actually felt horrible for him because i was like what a fucked up world you have lived in where you think that that's normal and okay. And then afterwards he made that flippant comment and he was like, I'm very thankful. I wouldn't have, you know, I wouldn't be able to give as good head as I do now if it wasn't for Father Michael, who turned out to be the priest who did bad things to him. Is Father Michael still alive? Is anybody looking at him right now?

Because I feel like we're really pointing the finger at Milo about this. Is there a Father Milo? What's his name? Michael. Is there a Father Michael somewhere right now, fucking little kids? Because we might want to look into him right now. You notice that? Not one liberal said, where's this Father Michael at right now?

I did. One liberal did. One. Honestly, I just hope he gets some help, and I hope he talks to someone uh because maybe there's some like unanswered things in there i'm yeah what kitty is saying about it like it is a common we talked about this on pkn as well that oftentimes or it can be that when people are abused at a young age like that they will retroactively go back and try and make it seem like they were more in control i I wanted it.

You know, it wasn't, you know, Oh yeah, I had sex with this guy when I was 13 and he was whatever the fuck. Oh. And the person talking to him, he'd say,

wow, that's, you got molested. Oh no, no, no, I wanted it. I totally wanted it.

Like that gives them a little more control over it. And it's easier to, to rationalize. That's, it's a shame that you didn't watch last week's episode of it's always sunny. This comes into play with, with Dennis reliving his, uh,

his rape as a child. Uh, on, um, Joe Rogan talked about this and he said it really, he made an interesting point. He's like, even if Milo had a positive experience at 14,

right? Like maybe he gets to see some help, put processes, the whole thing puts it in his place and says, you know what? That was just great sex. There are women who get raped and orgasm from it and it gives them guilt yeah it it like they have issues it's complicated even if somehow someone out there like a female gets raped and

says you know what shockingly it was pretty good sex that doesn doesn't mean that we should be normalizing rape and be like, you know what, sometimes it works out. No. How many pornos have you seen that follow that exact same path? I've seen so many, and I'm not I usually turn it off when I see that. I'm like, well, that's not what I was looking for.

It so often starts off with a bit of rape, and then she's like, ah, this wasn't so bad after all. Yeah, exactly. Like a little more of this. My new thing that I found, there's this porn genre. There was the one with the fake casting agent, right? This guy calls you in, oh, yeah, maybe you could get some work,

and then he fucks the chick, and there's no real job. Joe Lozon has that same couch. That's all he is. Joe Lozon's casting couch. And, of course, for course all actors you got to keep in mind when you watch that and i could go on about this for a long time i debunked them personally i noticed that this chick's sucking the dick and you know her nails look a certain way they look unfinished like you know they don't look ugly or anything it's just her nails and then like three quarters of the way through the video she's got her nails fucking done she's a professional she went got her nails and then like three quarters of the way through the video. She's got her nails fucking done She's a professional she wouldn't got her nails done

This was filmed over the course of like two or three fuck sessions bullshit There's nothing you'll see it where they're come in and be like oh, what are you coming in from? It's like oh just getting back from school You don't have a backpack. You don't have a backpack. I would if you were just getting back from class. I've lost it. Put it in her car. Taylor talking about kids coming home from school without a backpack in his porn. Do people not use backpacks in college? There's a new one where there's a manager of a Best Buy,

and he catches this hot chick stealing some electronics, and then he takes her in the back and fucks her instead of calling the cops i've seen that one a few times that one's much better um and then there's another one which is like a mix of the two called back called uh it's like back room uh casting or something like that and in that one they're like in like a stock room or a warehouse and the guy's real shitty to the girls i don't really like that one either but i you know i watch a little bit of everything you know he's always just like i don't know just showing them nasty oh those tits are terrible i guess ah all right take them off take it off and it's just like really nasty the girl with such a bad attitude like is he acting like he's at work and he's like just god just get me till 5 p.m lord help me you know yeah oh yeah absolutely that's

how it's done every single time he's really nasty to them. And I guess, and it's kind of telling about the kind of guys who, like, watch that specifically, and they're like, oh, yeah, can't wait for another backroom casting for sex video. You know, because it's like the guy's always manipulating the girl and being really nasty to her. And I've seen other casting videos that are actually real where they're, like, really mean to the girl and, like, slapping her in the face and, like like spitting on her face and like any of those videos real none of them are yeah yeah oh absolutely yeah yeah sure yeah i i don't know about the plots that kyle's talking about but some of the videos are real like what about the cam girl there are

cam couples out there you know they're just couples having sex on camera yeah that's true to me i was just meaning like i didn't genre i didn't even know that was a thing cam couples i mean when i watch porn i think it's just funny like i don't know how anyone can get their rocks off to porn uh maybe i just have a real fucked up sense of humor, but to me, porn just makes me laugh. I view it like comedy. It usually makes me cry right after. We're watching very different stuff. Very different reasons. I cry after, but it's because I didn't think I was gay.

I'm just kidding. Or if you see the YouTube thing, where it pops up the thumbnails of all the next videos, and you're like, oh, well, goddammit, that was the one that, like, probably would have been way better, but now what's done is done. There's no going back. Cat's out of the bag.

Did you guys see that video of I mentioned this because I think Chiz just wrote I'm going to get exactly what he said. He said, oh, snap, Kim Jong-nam, half-brother of the North Korean Kim Jong-un, was killed with VX nerve agent. Did you guys see the video of him being murdered with VX nerve agent?

Did you hear the story? He was wearing a lol sweater. So, like, the half-brother of that crazy guy who runs North Korea was walking through an airport, and a lady came up behind him and like rubbed vx nerve agent all over his face and then like casually walked away her story is i thought i was on a reality tv show but that that shit don't play like like there's too much little minor evidence that like points in a different direction she immediately goes to the bathroom and starts washing up and tries to escape you know but killed him very quickly with this nerve agent that she just like there's video

of it maybe i don't know yeah it's like a spray and she's wearing like a sweater that says lol it's on the cloth yeah the t-shirt says lol she said that she had done it to several other people with water and then she goes up to this person and uses the gas and didn't realize she was going to kill him i didn't hear what kyle said about like washing her hands and yeah because i would in that theory. He wouldn't be like, I've got to get this water off my hands. Oh my God, don't breathe too close.

Right. The exit, the stuff, and Chiz even pointed it out because he loves that movie. It's the same nerve agent from the movie The Rock with Sean Connery and Nick Cage. Yeah, remember that? That was in this green little round spherical things. They were in the rocket.

I don't think that's how that shit works in real life or anything. What did they use in the Japanese subway attack? Ah, sarin gas. Oh, that's what I'm thinking of. Yeah. I know my poisons! Yes, you do. There were some guys not too far from me. They got caught. This is back under the Bush presidency

when he was cracking down on the terror. And these guys were cooking up ricin. And this is like 15 miles from me. They were cooking up an enormous amount of ricin, which is one of the most toxic poisons known to man. Very tiny amounts are deadly. The Russians had this. They killed this guy one time.

They took a very tiny ball bearing that had holes drilled throughout it so it was somewhat hollow. Porous, yeah. Porous, yeah. And then they put the ricin inside that. And then with an umbrella that was made to inject that tiny little BB pellet, they bumped into the guy, poked him in the leg. And the guy's like, oh, I'm sorry.

I bumped into you there. And the guy's like, yeah, you did, didn't you? And he's like dead three or four days later. They also did that polonium thing to that guy. They irradiated him with polonium, and he died a terrible death. The Russians killed lots of people. Let's see who they killed with polonium.

Oh, I didn't. There was one of the Russian spies. Oh, God, I was reading this, like, just the other day. Yeah, apparent, like, Russian government kills people all the time. Press, that's not favorable. Who's a Russian spy? You think this country's so innocent? Fair point.

Sorry, I'm just quite in trouble. You think this country's so innocent? Yeah. That's what he said. That's a first look at the Woody Trump voice. What he should have said is, we've got some rough customers over here, too. Sometimes you've got to take the gloves off.

He's not a good public speaker, though, is he? He's an interesting public speaker. Don't you wish Trump was slick? Don't you wish he was slick? I wish his IQ was over 50. His IQ was over 50. I wish, though, that he was slick and smooth, and when they asked him a question, he knew the answer. And not only did he know the answer, he was going to give tell you, he was going to give you a paragraph that at the end of it, you were like, I came in here totally misinformed.

Donald just set me straight. If you want him to answer questions. Ted Cruz is slick and smooth and Trump. Right. This is like the best debater in the Senate. Yeah. So whatever Trump's buffoonery is, it is a package that sells. For whatever reason,

people are buying Trump more than Cruz. Oh, he was the superior candidate, by and large. We all know that. What? Not true. Then how did we get to where we are today then, Woody? Clearly he was. His buffoonery beats slick and smooth debating skills, apparently.

Well, then maybe more politicians should shift to buffoonery. Like, if you were in the UFC, and all of a sudden there was a guy Needs slick and smooth debating skills. Apparently. I don't think it would have. Like if you were in the UFC. And all of a sudden there was a guy. Just knocking everybody the fuck out. With like heel clicks. Like yeah he just jumps up. Clicks his heel to the side. They don't know what's happening.

Next thing you know. Why am I not paying their out? You'd be like alright. If you could snap your fingers. And have it be just Cruz in there. Instead of Trump. Would you do that? No. No. No. No. No. no, no. I like Trump better than Cruz.

I don't know yet. Cruz is much more conservative in the scary kind of conservative way that none of us like at all. We talked about earlier how like, oh, you're pro-Second Amendment. I probably know how you feel about abortion. Now, the three of us, four of us, I would say don't fit into that mold, but Ted Cruz does. Ted Cruz does fit in that mold. And while Donald Trump may put a Supreme Court just as he is, that is pro-life, Ted Cruz is a whole other animal of conservatism that we don't want. The conservatives who are in Congress think he's too conservative. He was the outside.

If Donald Trump weren't in that race, Ted Cruz would have been the outside. The religious shit is definitely his biggest drawback because I do like him. He's more of a constitutionalist than Donald. He's more conservative in the good way than Donald, too, I think. Pence is scary, having him as a vice. I feel like Trump's got this massive... Trump zapped them trump they're straight

trump he's saying that conversion therapy stuff uh i can't think of another president in my lifetime maybe reagan who was closer to death than trump you know i i believe that yeah there's been like people read by age is part of it the fact is trump i i saw trump recently and i thought he's getting kind of a chris christie body type like he's getting big yeah yeah and so that heart and he's tallish too i think he lies about his height but he's like six two and um uh so he's a big man that heart is a large guy a lot of work and you know even though he's after big man That heart does a lot of work And even though he's after Obama I'm sure Obama will live longer I wouldn't be shocked if Carter outlived Trump

If you told me Trump dies One year into his term Oh Trump could die tomorrow Trump is a stroke away It could be I'm just saying with Carter Like Carter's definitely going to die before Trump Like he looks like he's knocking on death's door And H.W. he's going to die before trump like he looks like he's knocking on death store and hw he's gonna die bob dole too w struggling yeah you see bob dole at the inauguration

he was the one at the top of the stairs in the wheelchair you didn't recognize him anymore yeah yeah that's i mean trump's diet as well like a lot there's there's actually a twitter called rogue white house and it's supposedly run by a couple of staff members but we don't really know. There's a couple of them but yeah. They talk about his love of junk food and how like we've always got to have fried chicken ready on the go. But I actually believe it. I think

this Rogue White House Twitter is real because none of it's like really outlandish for Trump. I've seen him eat lots of McDonald's and shit on his plane. I like that. That makes him more human to me. A president who eats fucking fast food, like, I like that. Especially a billionaire president who eats fast food. Like, how relatable? We can all relate to that. I like that about him. Like, you hear so much crazy shit about him,

about him pissing on whores in Obama's bed and, bed and like you know raping women and grabbing pussies and and storming into like dressing rooms that yeah here he eats fast food you're like oh okay well i just cares i do too the thing about defiling a bed that obama once slept in means so nothing to me like it let's say that one of my couldn't care any less if my enemies came out of woodwork and so i found out wood woody stayed at a holiday inn back in 2012 and we peed on the bed that he slept in i'd be like you think you got me like you think that's a thing that you did to me sleep pissing in a bed they need to clean in a hotel from years ago like you didn't do shit it sounds to me like let me let me pose this

little scenario let's just say it is true that there was urination um one that shows that donald trump's into that who cares again i think the fact that he was staying in the room that obama stayed in is completely coincidental too because you would imagine that the president of the united states and a billionaire the likes of donald trump probably get the best fucking room in a hotel when they go right right so they're they're gonna be in the best fucking room in a hotel when they go there so they're gonna be in the best it's like if Obama and Trump go to the same hotel period they're

probably gonna you know at different times they're in the presidential suite or the penthouse suite or something like that spare no expense right in Obama's case we're paying for it and Trump's at least back then he was paying for it I guess or maybe some people he defrauded who knows but in any case yeah i just don't care about that i don't care about that at all i do like that he eats junk food that kind of makes

him relatable and i hope he doesn't get fat oh he's real he's gaining weight he's getting yeah he's already he's not fat overweight not 70 year old man fat that's not that bad he's he's full form stress i know it's not a good look he's got a lot of stressors these days though right you know he's got saying it's like evil i'm just saying he's definitely fat he's like he's he's gained look at a picture of him from a year and a half ago and then look at it now he's he's put on some pounds those we didn't see all of the McDonald's and KFC meals on his plane. No, there were many. You know there's more.

I feel for the chef at the White House. Yeah, he's having, President Trump, we have prepared this beautiful duck l'ange with asparagus. Get me a fucking Happy Meal! Or it's just like, here's your salt and pepper shakers and all your soups. Do you have any MSG? I love that. Everything I have is MSG on it.

You know, by playing it especially. That's a good impression. Oh, he's ridiculous. I want a big back! I can imagine him trying to endear himself to his audience with those tweets of fast food, and then eventually it was becoming like, every time he was sitting down for fast food like a new aid came over to take the

picture and tweet it and eventually you know he had to be like well no reason to let the american people at it twice in one day you know mcdonald's twice a day not the best thing you know he's he's gotten too big um yeah he Sorry, I interrupted one of you and sounded like you had something. I was laughing at Tane's impression. New topic? We could briefly touch

Oh, I wanted to say Let's see, what's the poll I'm going to say? We missed I think that this month for our Patreons with the Hangout thing, I think that this month for our Patreons with the Hangout thing, I think that what happened was Chiz sent out the notification for you guys to let you know what date we were going to be doing that,

and Patreon had a bug in it where it only sent the message via Patreon, but not via your emails in addition. It normally does both at the same time. So through no fault of his, it seems that only two of you got the notification and showed up uh two of them check their patreon messages whereas most people expected to be copied via mail yes and so we only got two people properly notified and one of those guys showed up late with a very funny story of his girlfriend hating his vr man i feel for you um but but but

what we're gonna do woody has a very uh busy week coming up but we're going to as soon as possible reschedule that thing and give you guys another one because i'm even the gentleman who showed up to you know i want to make sure he got a second one too he had a little bug so um we're going to do another one we'll we'll do a better job or i will of like announcing those like on a pka before it comes up so everybody gets the notification you come those are really fun uh i like sitting in there for you know it'll be like a Sunday afternoon and I'm like I gotta go do a show and everybody's like what what kind of show I'm like I don't know we're just hanging out with fans for an hour

it's fun so I always dig those I like doing those so you always come back with the best stories as well like yeah that last guy you know just to kind of fast forward the thing he's got a vibe like I do. And on the previous Hangout last month, we were having this long discussion about him and VR porn. He was really questioning me a lot about it. And my thing is, it's not that amazing. It's not that great. It is something you should try if you have a vibe because you've spent a lot of money on this thing.

So get in there and do it. But he was fast. He brought his girlfriend over. He brought his girlfriend over he brought his girlfriend over and like all whatever it was 8 12 guys in the hangout were totally telling her like he should do it you should do it you'd be a great girlfriend you could both do it he could watch it you could do it like we were just really pitching the idea that yeah and she's very against it sitting right next to him there and uh and was trying to, like, get to the

bottom of why, and it seemed like she thought it was cheating in a way. And I was like, does she realize that you're just sort of watching a scene happen? It's not like a holodeck at Star Trek where you're like, come over here. And she comes over and like, alright, do this and that. And she does this and that. That's not the case. It's just, you're

watching a video that you're inside of. That's the case with this VR point. But she felt she felt like you know different than watching two people do it what having a girl do it to you even though you don't feel it you just see it that way was more cheating than watching two guys neither one of them is cheating it's not real so he was uh so of course he followed my my my advice i guess and got himself an account. So he got the best VR porn there is out there on the net. You want to go to NaughtyAmerica.com, get an account. The free VR porn is horseshit. So is the free 4K porn.

I'm curious, Kyle. What is your percentage of normal porn watched versus VR porn at this point? Do you often find yourself? It's like 100 to 1. There's no VR porn at all. Look, if I want to watch VR porn, I've got to come down to this room, right? With my lubricant and whatever I wear during a VR jerk session. And I've got to like, all right.

Then I've got to spend like half an hour clicking. Because it's one thing to click a video and watch 30 seconds of it and be like, no. It's a much different thing to be like, all right. Ka-chunk, ka-chunk, ka-chunk. All right. I picture Kyle's supplies being awesome. up and being like no it's a much different thing to be like all right kachunk kachunk kachunk all right i picture kyle's supplies being awesome like like like he's got a jar of lube he's got that fucking uh robotic flashlight the auto blow maybe one of those uh flotation devices with the horse head in front of it yeah just let's headed down the uh down the stairwell with all these things what you don't know is that red bull cooler in the back is actually just lube

you know what people don't think about the vr porn is you know if you're looking down and you're getting head and you're obviously doing it to yourself because it's not real it's vr who's gonna have the confidence to ejaculate blindly wildly out into the world you have to plan ahead you have to be like all right let me get a towel on the floor let me everything's going that way too much it ruins it because then you're on mess cleanup mode before anything's even done you're gonna have to dexter up your VR room. You've got to like lay down the plastic cheating.

But that is the case. You've got to blow that low completely blindly and hope for the best. But something really bad happened to this gentleman. Our friend, our paying Patreon customer, he was engaging in a bit of virtual reality pornography, if you will he was you know

jacking off watching some chick fuck him or something and his girlfriend walked in the room and of course he's got headset and the vr stuff on he doesn't know she's there mirrored it's mirrored on his computer screen so she goes hmm shut down and he just goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's just there. Like, oh, oh. And we're like, well,

how bad did it go? He's like, well, I'm sleeping in here alone. Get the fuck up, But it was great because she went to the couch. She's like,

really? So I kind of won this, right? I'm in the bed. Yeah. He didn't feel like a winner. What did she expect walking in? Like, in like all like you know that every guy's doing that just because he decides to do it in the 21st century now you're getting all mad at him right what is she a beta max um exactly

i had something to say oh i had this idea i was like hey wouldn't it be cool if you had the vr porn on right and then like a real girl would do the things that was happening in the VR porn. That's what I suggested to her. But the thing is that just occurred to me that that is the equivalent of just putting a paper bag over your girlfriend's head. It's brown bagging. It's brown bagging and then sticking like a face on the brown bag. It's so much more insulting than anything. on the brown bag we're insulting anything like never imagine if you were with a girl and actually the only way it could work is if both of you are down because if you're both like we're down you

know let's say you've been married for 20 years and you're just like god this just sucks you're so ugly and you know your your tits sag so much and this is a nightmare oh yeah you're a you're a real treasure to look at fatty and then they have fuck but she gets to look at a nice sexy guy and he gets to look at a nice sexy lady and the only thing to ruin it is the fact that you feel those fat bodies pushing against one another your name's nigel because you're british and you look like a nigel you should get her a second vibe you'll need her own setup too because you can't power two with one computer unfortunately but she needs her own let find her some hardcore like Man porn like find something and she she'll be in there like blowing some huge dick or something or like whatever

She's into a fish man or a horse or whatever Get on her just on her knees blowing a fake dick You should watch something that happened in sunny day in sunny in Sunny Frank and Mac are in VR They're in a rack Clearing rooms They accidentally shoot a kid And then Mac's down there giving the kid CPR in VR But then they pull back to the outside world

And Dennis and Charlie are watching He's like, so what is he doing? Blowing a kid? Yeah, yeah, he's blowing a kid Because he's like Down on the ground, like blowing the kid. That was funny. I think there was an app company that was doing some stuff with VR porn and I think it's still in development now

where like a cam girl would be giving a blowjob to, you know, like a dick with a bunch of sensors in it and you'd have like a flashlight type thing that would move in the way that that would she was giving the blowjob so she's like giving head to like an Andy Serkis in Lord of the Rings

Smeagol dick with all those little sensors stuck on his yeah yeah and then the flashlight would respond I think that's an excellent idea. She's bad at sucking fake dick. I was going to say, I feel like you could make a robotic dick. I think if she's a cam girl, she's probably, you know, at that point to go that far, she's probably got some dick sucking skills.

If you spend the money to pay a cam girl and have virtual reality and have some sort of thing mounted on your cock that responds to what a woman does across the country. Guys, go escort $100 an hour. $300 if you want the hottest chick you've ever fucked. Like, what are you doing? I don't get it. Like, you really, all the technology when you get the real thing. It did seem like it was overcomcomplicating, a real basic issue.

Would it be electrocuted? Like, nobody ever thinks about that. What if you die sitting in that chair, all hooked up to all these sensors and blowjob machines? Imagine explaining that to the parents. Well, you don't have to. Someone else has to explain it. Like, you know, somebody's got to come in and do your best.

Kyle, if you ever died, and I was there, and I came down, and you had, you know, you ever died and i was there and i came down and you had you know i heard the telltale and i'm like goddamn it's been going for fucking 45 minutes now you better go check on the guy give it a couple knocks nothing if i come in and you're dead i promise you hand on my heart that i will take that thing off your dick i'll pull your pants up and i'll change it to like wikipedia you know the crimean war or something. It doesn't matter. Just something so boring that they'll look up and be like, oh, he was looking up what kind of engine was in the 1968, whatever.

Who fucking cares? That's what I'll do for you. I appreciate that. I would do the same for anyone that I know and care about. If you're in a compromising position, what I want to know is who found David Carradine? What son of a bitch found him? You know?

Because they didn't even pull the man's goddamn pants up. He was a legend. He was the kung fu master. And they just left him there all hung. Didn't pull his pants up. Fucking dick hanging out. And, you know, it was all tiny and shriveled because he choked himself to death. All embarrassing. Like, his dick probably turned black.

Is that how it goes? Or does, like, all the blood go to it and you're just have an erection i have no idea if they came in they're like david's dead and god damn what a dick he had he never wow all of his like all the blood goes to it no he that was sad though i think he was hanging from like a doorknob or maybe hanging from like a closet or something he was autoerotic asphyxiation for the uninitiated. Apparently, you choke yourself to the verge of unconsciousness or just past it during orgasm and then come back, and it's a great feeling. Apparently, it's like super, super, super awesome.

But don't try it. But don't try it because that's where that guy died. He was in Kill Bill, but now he's just going to be known for being the guy who died masturbating, and nobody wants to be that guy. Yeah. I mean, you could choke a girl out, because then you can just let go,

and she'll come back to life. Yeah, don't try that either. But don't put anything in her mouth, though, because when you choke a girl unconscious, she immediately, like, bites down, and that's, I learned that the hard way. Did you? Old nine-finger Kyle over there.

It literally wasn't. Who said it was my finger? It actually was my finger, but... Old half-staff over here. Oh, why did I come on here again? Alright, seems like a good idea for me to slip in. So which lucky advertiser gets to follow this topic? Dollar Shave Club?

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Go to ZipRecruiter.com slash painkiller. Yeah, and you can post jobs for free. Free is among the best coupon codes we offer. Don't get no better than that. New topic, I've got one. So Arkansas, let me make sure it's Arkansas because I've got to... Yeah, it's Arkansas. This is passed, right?

This isn't like a bill that's not going to go anywhere. The governor signed it, and it allows husbands to sue their wives to prevent them from getting an abortion. But more than that, it allows husbands to sue their wives to prevent them from getting an abortion. But more than that, it allows fathers to sue the women to prevent them from getting an abortion. So they're going wild over this coroner case. But if it's a rapist or like a pedo and the kid gets pregnant or the victim gets pregnant, also the rapist can make sure that the kid doesn't get aborted. And this is in Arkansas now. Well that's interesting.

That brings up a really interesting discussion that we've never really had before. I saw today a similar story where a 14 year old had been raped by an older woman and was now being forced to pay child support for the child that he unwittingly fathered while he was away. Oh, I saw that. That's a horrible situation. You get molested and you have to pay for it? The judge said we really have to think about the child.

To which his lawyer should have been like, you mean this little kid right here that the old lady raped? Because let's think about him because he's fucking here and he's sentient and everything. There's some real lopsided stuff in this whole family court thing. Child support, they mostly have fair now.

No one likes it. Guys don't like it, et cetera. But if the woman's the lead earner, then she's the one who pays it. It's based on who has the kid more days, stuff like that. And there's a chart that they follow. At least it's North Carolina does it. And it's not open to like interpretation.

No one gets fucked. They just say, he makes this, she makes that. The 60, 40, you you know they just divide it up and it gets paid but other stuff like i don't know it just doesn't seem right that if like two people have sex at that point the guy's rights are completely removed she gets to decide whether or not she keeps it she gets to decide you know if there's child support. She is in the driver's seat the entire way. And I don't know. I don't know what's right.

I don't think the guy should be able to say, you can't get an abortion. But I do think the guy should be able to say, I don't want to have this child with you, and so I'm out. Right, yeah. He should be able to say, I'm financially out. If this kid becomes, you know, the next Elton John

or the next Michael Jordan or whatever, I can't just show back up and be like, remember me? Like, no, I can't do that. Like, I'm out. Like, you should be allowed to do that. And then she can make an informed decision, right? Yeah, then she knows the situation she's in. And that seems better than being like,

oh, yeah, I'm going to be there for sure. And then just skedaddling as soon as responsibility comes knocking what's the term but yeah i don't like this yeah i don't like this at all that the guy can say that they can sue them for it i get today's system allows for baby trapping right where the girl can get pregnant and now she knows you're locked into me you know i get pregnant you're locked into me you've been baby trapped and you know a lot of times marriage follows in situations where maybe marriage wasn't gonna follow and uh it is a way to trap people in a relationship it can be that but you know it's because you want to have a kid you know the girl gets to completely decide whether

or not she has an abortion i i don't know the right answer in this it does seem no i'm sorry i think that's right the husband gets to object to it i that it's complicated but i don't think i think it's too complicated that any one law would be right for every situation like i feel i don't even know any judge who could decide on a case-by-case basis because it's such a personal thing like I think where rape is involved I certainly don't think a child who was molested should be paying father support because I think that's just that's just wrong uh but I you know I think when it's a decision between two people like you saying hey you're my girlfriend uh you're pregnant you're not allowed to have an abortion i think that's kind of overstepping it but i also think there should be something there for the protection of the guy um but i don't think you know if she didn't want

an abortion wanted the kid the guy should be able to get out without having to do child support but at the same time the kid who used a condom could have used birth control and then this wouldn't be a conversation that they'd be having um so it's just so complicated there's so many things it's pretty hard to make a judgment either way yeah they should be able to do the financial abortion thing but i still something is in my craw the wrong way about allowing the guy to sue the girl that not get an abortion like it yeah that's completely anything what if it ties it up so long that then it's like oh now we're the third trimester it doesn't matter sorry you know like what if that's what happens what if it's just intentional litigation to make sure it doesn't get done because the father's like all right i

gotta drag this on for what 20 weeks or whatever and then we're at the point where the judge goes well that it's been reached or whatever you can't do it anyway sorry like it seems like that's something that happened abortions are already very very hard to have in america you know some states only have one or two if they have any abortion clinics because whilst they're legal they tend to get regulated out the market and what i mean by that is a lot of states especially Alabama have you know ridiculous laws like the the corridors must be 20 foot wide or you know you must have 16 different fire exits on three yeah one of the ways that they crack down abortion is by raising the standards uh that an abortion clinic has to meet to be one and oftentimes

they make it very expensive to be in the business of being an abortion clinic. That's pretty shitty. Yeah, that's what I mean by being an abortion clinic. And of course, they're shielded by this thought or this talking point where they say, look, we're just looking out for women's health. You're saying that you don't want a state-of-the-art center performing these intense medical procedures?

Like, yeah, I think they should have an MRI on hand. Like, of course it's four hundred thousand dollars they need one like they just make it entirely too expensive for them to stay in business but it seems like most places if you got four hundred dollars you can just get it done well yeah if you're not your coat hanger abortion clinic christ almighty you're 15 right if you're 15 years old and you're in te and the closest one is like a 12-hour drive because everything local has been regulated out of business, it puts you in a very tricky spot.

I don't think it does. I really don't. Because it's a huge thing that you need getting done. We're not talking about like a toothache, right? Like I'm telling you, if I had a little creature living inside of me that I wanted out, 12-hour drive wouldn't slow me down a bit.

You know when I'd be there? Not 9.45 tomorrow. Like, that's what... We've seen Chiz find his way all around the country without a driver's license, right? Like, he gets around. He gets wherever he needs to be within a day. Take the train to get an abortion.

Hey, you're also assuming... You don't want to be driving yourself home. You're also assuming that you just turn up and get an abortion, which is not the case. You turn up, you have a bunch of tests then those come back and then you have to go again for like a welfare check psychological evaluation and all of that and then you go again and get the abortion this isn't just to turn up and get it done logical evaluation i think that's by that's by state like it's another thing not every state. It's another thing, just like they did the, I think the hospital thing you're talking about, where they're like, all right, are you a medical office?

They're like, yeah. All right, then you got to abide by the hospital rules. Can you push two fucking gurneys through your hospital in opposite directions and have room for doctors on either side? Oh, no, that sucks to suck. Same thing with like the whole, well, you got to show up and then get a mental health test and then do this. It's just a way to try and make it more difficult to get it done but there are like i guarantee there

are states where you could just show up and get it done too i don't know about texas i have no fucking idea it imagine i imagine texas is one where it's much much harder and it being enormous it the fact that it's an enormous state also makes it difficult because if you're in austin you know you got to go like you might have to buy a plane ticket and just like go over to i don't know uh new mexico or new mexico or georgia or missouri or wherever you go whatever the fucking options are and get it done there florida has cheap abortions i hear has cheap abortions like easy to get you mean three hundred dollars that's way cheaper than i would think i've never been involved in that and so i don't know what the cost you gotta know

a guy i i got a guy hey is it really good they've got coupons uh-huh is that how much it is three hundred dollars four hundred dollars it's closer to $500. $500, and he'll also make your headlights not foggy anymore. But that's a lot for some people. Oh, I do. Yeah, it definitely is. $500 is a lot of cash. Well, generally, the guy comes up with that, right? I feel like they do, don't they?

They do. I don't know why. Yeah, I guess guys get to come up with everything, money-wise. Yeah. You did this to me. Right? I mean, they got a good point. She did it, too. You did this to me! Right? I mean, they got a good point. You did it together.

You both decided not to do it. You were on top! We were both on our knees. What do you mean I did it? Yeah, well, maybe if you give me $500, maybe that's the version the sheriff hears. Maybe it's not. She's going to get that money one way or another. Well, at the end of the day, if the guy doesn't give her the $500,

he's going to be paying a lot more in the long run. $5 once or every week for the rest of your life? You pick. I'll take the $500. Fuck, make it $1,000. Take it. You don't have to see that.

Get two for one. New topic? Sure. You got to come up with it. A little different this time. I was going to talk about really being excited to see Tony Ferguson fight Khabib Namiguradov, or however you

say his goddamn last name. That Russian Muslim killer. That badass motherfucker from Dagestan. So pumped to see that. I was watching Tony Ferguson. I want Ferguson to win. I want Tony Ferguson to win too. Everybody wants Tony Ferguson. Tiger? Have you seen him at

Big Bear doing all those crazy gymnastics and the flips and the steel ball. What's that dancing fight style? Capoeira? Something like that. He's doing capoeira with a steel ball, a solid steel ball. Where he's doing this crazy dance. Not holding it, like rolling it.

Right, right, right. He's just with this movement, like all over the place, like a goddamn snake or something. He does muscle-ups, which is jump, pull yourself up, push yourself down. But he's doing like this deadlift grip, where one hand's facing one way, the other's the other.

And he's stabilizing his body in a plank, like eight feet up in the air above a swing set, putting his whole body straight out. They show him doing all these ridiculous stretching exercises, movement exercises, conditioning exercises. It's outrageous. And then you got Habib, who grew up in the mountains of dagestan like literally wrestling bears i know it's just for this just for showing everything but the man wrestled a bear as a child he just did you can't you can't take it away this video video i've seen it um you know a military like reg that just means there's a very very skilled bear trainer nearby has nothing to do with the fact that he was good at what he did.

Part of his aura. Partially tranquilized the bear. A child who will go in and fight the bear, right? Like, you tell 10-year-old me, go fight that bear, Kyle. Fuck you, it's a bear. He's just like, should I kill him or no? He's like, should I take it easy on bear? Like, he's wrestling the bear, fucking bear, fucking pushing it around and stuff.

Is he telling him, honestly, Bear already dead. That's just gas escaping. Do it before people realize. We need to make viral video because they don't realize how the internet works still. This is a huge fight, and I think it's going to overshadow the headliner of the night, which is Wonderboy versus Thompson, or Tyrone Woodley versus Wonderboy Thompson. I think it's going to overshadow that. I think it's going to be the bigger, better fight. I think the Woodley fight might end up, and I bet Woody might agree with

it, Woodley might knock that fucker out in round one. Woodley might knock him out in round one. But Khabib is going to go to war with Tony Ferguson. There's going to be a stylistic war between these two. Tony wants to stay standing up and keep striking him like only he can. He's very fucking good at it. And Khabib wants to put this man on the ground and start hammering him with elbows and hammer fists like really haven't seen too many people do as well as he does. He's incredible on the ground. He's vicious. He's very intelligent. I've seen him talk many times. His English is improving at a rapid rate. And the other thing that's interesting about him is he's a little bit smaller than a lot of his competition. He's 23, 24 and 0 or

something like that. Some would say that's a padded record. It really is hard to be 24 and 0 in any kind of combat unless you're just beating up on people like Ron Rouse for a little while. Didn't we talk about, though, that a lot of those records are kind of boosted up because they'll put you up against Joe the Bouncer? Sure. Khabib's is a little padded, but no, most records are not.

Most guys just fight progressively harder people. And in MMA, some of the greatest MMA fighters ever, like Randy Coutouture for example he's like 16 and 8 you know bj penn similar kind of record and he only fought 24 fights let me check it out they're gonna be right oh that just seems like such a tiny amount of fights they find so many organizations like like especially guys from that era like like there's no way to know um well i I mean, of course there is. You fucking Google it.

I was trying to understand how soccer leagues work on Twitter last night, and I was having a lot of, like, friendly British people and people from around the world tweet at me. People from Saudi Arabia, like, telling me how these leagues work. What in God's name is going on over there? I kept trying to, like, nail it down the way that we nail it down. I was like, so here we have like the nhl where all the best hockey players go and then major league baseball where all the best baseball

players go and they're like well we have a minor league and a series of local leagues amongst the local leagues the winner will move on to the you know premier jelly bowl and the winner of the, you know, the pie-off moves on to the second string. I have no idea about this. I have the numbers. These guys are UFC Hall of Famers. And BJ Penn is 29-16, more than I thought. And Randy Couture is 30-19. So, again, like in boxing, you don't see people with 19 losses in the Hall of Fame.

so again like like in boxing you don't see people with 19 losses in the hall of fame but in the ufc like you tend to fight your match and they don't pad records like that so for khabib to be 24 and 0 one yeah it is kind of a padded record a lot of the people he beat don't have wikipedia pages but there's some legit wins in there too and it's hard to win 24 times so badass anyway those are the numbers yeah man it's good it's gonna be uh it's gonna be a great fucking show i saw that they added uh three or four more bouts to the the card because there was only like one um fight on the uh what do you call it's not fs1 it's on like the fight night card or whatever they call it yeah fight pass card there's only one bout on that on that and i was like what is... Remember you said they added a couple people?

Like they added like three fights? Yeah. But I didn't see them on the page. So I think we're going to... They'll land there in the prelims in the Fight Pass. That is where they go. Yes, that's absolutely where they go. That's what I read,

that they were going to use those two or three fights to pad out that one fight pass card, which is what it was. But again, not all that exciting. A couple of them are like, I think one of them is a women's strawweight bout, and the other one might be a bantamweight bout, a women's bout.

I want to say it's two women's fights that they added, and I like that. I think I'd rather watch two women that I don't know fight than two men that I don't know fight. I was more excited about women fighting like three years ago like when they first broke on oh my god when it was still novel well it wasn't that it was novel it's that maybe they were less skilled and they would just taylor who is the hockey fight i think one guy was boston his name might have been stokes or stokely and uh the two of them just

were rock'em sock'em robots where they grabbed the jersey and punched each other in the face like 29 times in a row. Do you know this fight? Yeah, they beat the shit out of each other. I don't remember the names of the guys but it's not like most hockey fights where they kind of throw a punch and then will dodge a little bit. It was just two guys punching each other

in the face for like 45 seconds. No defense, nothing. Each of them grabbed each other in the jerseys. They had like mirrored holds. Two very large gentlemen. And one might have been Domi, but I'm not sure. I have it in my head it was like Stokes and Domi or something. I don't remember. And

the women's fights were like that. They just wrecked each other and they were so energetic and they just killed each other. Whereas the guys, measuring feints, little subtle things. The women have evolved into that too now.

Did you watch Sarah McMahon fight the other night? Yes, I did. Who'd she fight? Sarah McMahon was fighting this girl who used to be on... She appeared once on the... Alright, so I didn't do any research on this, but just from what I gathered watching the broadcast, I'm going to take

a position on this, and I bet Google will result that this is what the deal was. She was supposed to fight someone else. That person wasn't able to fight, so they needed to fill some shoes in two and a half weeks, and so they went to that purple-haired lady to fill those shoes.

She wants appeared. She was on the, the, the ultimate fighter TV show. Um, and she has a three and a record, but she hasn't fought in like a year, two years, something like that. Who knows what she's doing with herself outside of fighting because she's not doing it. They needed shoes to be filled. They needed someone to come in. So they bring her in.

She's overweight slightly. You know, she didn't make way uh the bantam weight cut she was like 140 141 completely not her fault on two and a half weeks but as the fight as they're like walking in i'm watching this looking at my girlfriend and going this is bullshit they shouldn't make this girl fight that girl i was like i was like i don't and again this is with complete ignorance going in it's just plain to see to even a novice I'm like they are going to feed that girl in purple to that big fucking legitimate

fighter this is going to last less than one round and we're going to feel bad at the end and that's what fucking happened it was no more than that they fed that woman to her she beat the shit out of her and I was glad that Sarah has enough class and skill. She was incredibly good on the mic, for one thing.

She was very well-spoken. But she even said, hey, she had two and a half weeks. Don't give her crap about this. Don't give her crap about that. After she's beaten her bloody, she's over there like, hey, don't feel bad. She's hugging her. Don't feel bad. Don't even think this was a real thing because it just wasn't fair everybody knew that that wasn't fair that was an amateur being fed to a professional and not just professional like seventh best in the world probably there are a lot of people who get their start in the ufc

by taking short notice fights right yet sarah mcmahon legit killer you can't just call anybody up you know in the ufc they'll be like i'm not taking this fight in two weeks i'll lose it'll ruin my career but you get a woman outside the ufc then she's like oh even a loss would be good to my career so there's a good chance that this woman her name is gina mazzani um just got into the ufc by losing this fight. You can't judge her too much on two weeks. I don't think she wanted back into the UFC. That's just the way it looked to me. She's prettier than any of the other women in that division.

That's not a coincidence. She hasn't fought in years. She fought in May of 2016. Did she? They said it had been over a year. I guess February of 2017. It'd been over a year okay i guess yeah february of 2017 it'd been almost a year oh okay well in any case it it wasn't a fair fight and like you could tell you could tell just from muscle definition that like professional professional top tier women's athlete versus i don't know a girl who goes to the gym. That's what you saw. And it was a real

whooping. Although I came away from it thinking quite a bit of Sarah McMahon and looking forward to her fighting either Shevchenko or Amanda Nunez. And she's like, this is what, three finishes for me in a row? This is this many that. I've fought this person, that person. I want to fight. I want Amanda or I want Shevchenko. I think that's what she even said. And I want to see those fights too. I'm just as excited about the women's Bantam division as I ever was, I guess. Probably more so than when Ronda was just beating up people that I'd never heard of. Now you got Amanda Nunez at the top of that thing being scary as fuck.

And you know that she could beat up most average men who are her size or smaller. She's just incredible. She hits so or smaller. She's just incredible. She hits so goddamn hard. She's really fast. She's a black belt in jiu-jitsu. And then behind her is that Polish chick, that Shevchenko chick, who I didn't think was that great in two of her fights that I've watched. But she's the second-ranked bantamweight in the world.

Dude, I said it a year ago when Ronda Rousey was still the tippity-top. I think it wasn't that long ago but you're gonna see all of these best of the best women suddenly be not that great in the next year as well because they are it's such an infancy of this sport every sport when it starts you know people are still learning they're doing better so of course if you watch old cage fighting with the guys it's just like what he described at those hockey fights just guys beating the shit out of each other and then over time you realize i can't do that anymore because people learned more stuff it seems like that's where the woman's game is is that the best female

mma fighter from five years from now i guarantee would not only beat any woman right now in the same form but it would do it handily like it's's not, it's going to be an evolving sport. If they do, it will be because the pool of athletes from which we are pulling from is larger, not because the athletes in the game are doing anything different because you've already got the women. Because we'll hear me out. You've already got the women who are fighting training with the men who are fighting.

Like they're all in the same camps with these top tier, top tier male killers. They're all training with men. They're all training at the top level. They're all working out at camps with these top tier male killers. They're all training with men. They're all training at the top level. They're all working out at the top level. At least the five best, seven best in the world are. Amanda Nunez is going to be doing the same

fighter whether she's born today or in five years from now. But Amanda Nunez wasn't doing that training with guys at that level when she was, I don't know, eight or something, right? I just mean this next generation of female fighters that is like, oh, I got really into it when I was seven in a class, and I just did it all the way through. And instead of it being like a little piddling thing where, yeah, go compete against the other six girls who are interested in this in this state. It'll be a real competitive thing. And so I just think it's going to be like every other sport.

Like if you put Babe Ruth in the MLB today, first of all, the ump would be like, this guy's drunk. Like what in God's name is going on here? He's swinging the bat. You know how it's different than most sports? And I think this is cool and I'm no different. People care about women's UFC. Now, I know I said I cared more two years ago,

but I still do. I don't care anything about the WNBA. I don't care at all about women's UFC. Now, I know I said I cared more two years ago, but I still do. I don't care anything about the WNBA. I don't care at all about women's boxing. Women's boxing, I never gave a fuck. Shucks, the only women's sports people care about are the ones where they look hot, like tennis and volleyball. Yeah. But in the UFC, they like watching them fight. And it's not just because they're hot.

It's because they're interesting. No, because many of them are not. And I like that about it. It's one of the least sexist sports in existence. Because look at fucking Chris Cyborg. Her face looks like a catcher's mitt. It is sloped. She is at least one quarter Neanderthal.

Go look at her and tell me different. Her face slopes down in a way that fucking homo sapiens heads just don't. They just don't. Amanda Nunez started karate at four. She took up boxing at 16. Did jujitsu for the rest of her life not too long after.

But again, the pool of girls who would be doing stuff like that is going to be bigger. So you're going to get your Michael Jordans of women's fighting. We'll get in there. Instead of Serena Williams playing tennis, she's going to be knocking people's heads off. You know what I mean? Like imagine if she had trained at beating people up her whole life instead of hitting a tennis ball, right?

It would be terrifying. I wonder how much she weighs. It makes sense. She cut to 145. It makes sense why women's UFC has to be the most popular female sport on the planet, right? Doesn't it? Oh shit, you're right, tennis.

Probably tennis. I don't know where volleyball compares. I think volleyball might be third. Isn't women's soccer really well watched? In America? Every four years because the US team is good I'm thinking very US centric

I kind of like this little mini topic like what athletes who are not in fighting if that had been there what athletes were not in fighting if they had grown up if they had grown up without in a combat arena and like

if they had done that instead would have been great because i'm looking at serena williams here she she walks around at 155 pounds right easily gonna cut down to 145 like i i wonder is a serena williams who grew up with a father who was a boxer instead of a tennis instead of teaching them tennis from the time they could hold a racket her and her sister oh man are they are they the the Williams sisters are they like the the counterparts to Nick and Nate Diaz or I think they are I don't see how you can can argue anything different she's such an incredible athlete so much and remember Sports Illustrated had that like greatest female athletes of all time they put ronda above serena by the way but serena's got to be right there if she had been a fighter yeah yeah they put ronda rousey above serena williams that is that is unbelievable

yeah yeah well at the time at the time we were all drinking the kool-aid and we thought she was the greatest female athlete of all time. It just seemed like she was. I didn't know any better myself. They were telling me that. But the Williams sisters have been, my understanding, I don't follow tennis, but every time there is a women's champion, it seems like it's one of them. Not only that. They don't seem to be edging it out. They seem to be dominant.

Two women go into the cage and fight, and we get a winner. Tennis is a 100-year-old plus sport that is fought in a tournament style, right? Think about the difference in a tournament style thing than a 1v1 going into the cage type thing. She is supreme. She is a supremely better athlete than Ronda Rousey. Oh, because she had to beat so many people to win? Is that what you're saying? Yeah.

She can't just go in there and beat one person or give everything she everything she's got in this one 15 minute 20 minute 30 minute show she's got to be there all weekend ronda tends to walk into the finals as you know because that's the way it works yeah yeah she's got to beat she's got to start off with some like russian chick who's been also playing tennis her entire life and she's looking across the court and at the williams sister she's like oh wow if i win this my whole life gets better i get an adidas sponsorship like everybody who plays tennis against her is giving their best every single time and it's not like a combat sport we can slap them in the mouth and change their mind about about playing so hard what do you think serena weighs can she make 145 155 she's walking around at 155 she could make

135 she could make 145 for sure and i chris cyborg wouldn't know what the fuck she was i bet if you gave her walked in there i don't know i'm sorry if the williams sisters had started training six years ago for this they would walk into the u the UFC and beat the shit out of any of them. Because have you seen that? They are so athletic, unbelievably athletic. The Williams sisters are, they're,

they're built in a way like they have broader shoulders, like a male athlete would, they are clearly working out all day, every day. Like, I don't know. I just feel like if you, if they had taken up UFC or MMA or mma ufc whatever instead of

tennis they would be it'd be blood sport that's what i think right now i agree like if they had started see what they did if in case anyone doesn't know it's a very tiger woods like story where serena and venus williams father from a very early age said hey you guys are gonna be the best tennis players in the world trust me and then they. So he's been training them since they were little bitty girls. If he instead had been like, you know, a boxing guy or a college wrestler or something like that, and he taught his little girls how to fucking throw, then today we'd be talking about these deadly Williams sisters who like killed a woman last week.

Like, yeah, Venus Williams just killedanda nunez in the ring this week like that take another look this is sarah mcmahon she's ranked like number seven and this is serena williams how big is sarah mcmahon 135 so she probably walks around. She's 5'6". I just look at Sarah McMahon and say, this woman's not giving up much muscle to Serena Williams, if any. She might be more muscular. She is more muscular, but you've got to keep in mind the body types.

Serena isn't that shape because it just happened. She looks like that because that's what she wants to look like because that's the best tennis player's body. Those thighs, that whole core, everything about it is about fucking hitting that serve off and volleying back and forth and also moving around that court really quickly and being agile. I think she'd have

a completely different look about her, a completely different body makeup if she were a boxer or a fighter. To Taylor's point, he was saying that Serena Williams would walk into the UFC and none of these girls would know what hit her. I don't know if Serena or Venus, but this is Venus. Venus is 6'1".

She would obliterate any... Well, I don't think there are women big enough to fight her. It would be hard to find other women who are big enough to want to fight. These are like guy arms and delts and they are they are but those are arms you have to keep in mind this is a very small person who looks very big so they're they're they're not as

big as they look because she's definitely very big for a woman her size no no denying that but i mean the williams sisters are like genetically they seem to almost have a predisposition to be like super athletic they seem like really athletic people they do and they are I think the answer to I think we're both right about this I think that if the Williams sisters you know like I said

were raised in this then they'd just be the best because they're just they're the best at what they've chosen to do I gotta believe and it's so much harder to be the best at tennis than it is to be the best in the UFC. It just is. It just is. It's the numbers. There's only 500 UFC fighters, period.

Let's set aside men and women and weight classes and all that stuff. There's so many tennis players. There's not collegiate MMA necessarily. Of course, there's wrestling and boxing and all those other sports, but mixed martial arts is its own thing. Not every boxer is going to transition to MMA, but I think that these girls have a genetic predisposition to being

bad motherfuckers. Whenever you're trained from a young age by a father or something like that to be great, and he knows what he's doing, and you have the talent, it seems like that's a winning recipe that we see work time and time again look at the manning brothers look at tiger woods look at these look at venus and serena uh i can't think of any others off the top of my head but you constantly see it where the father was a ex-athlete pro-athlete whatever he knows his

shit and he he raises a child who competes at the top level. I'm just going to interrupt and say my back's spasming so I'm going to head off while I can before you go on. It's just more about UFC. But it's been fun. Always fun. Thanks, Kitty. Thanks for coming on, Kitty. You got to play some magic on Xbox.

Oh, we didn't talk about magic! No, we didn't. You spent the time I could sit discussing stuff that i couldn't oh god damn it all right well what next week i'll catch you later all right oh yeah magic was that a cool card i don't even know it looked like a promotional like a larger card yeah i got that's what i thought too i got my chittering mass together the other day is you I don't even know. It looked promotional, like a larger card. Yeah, that's what I thought too.

I got my Chittering Mask together the other day. It's the two cards that you flip over and put together and make the giant mega card. I love that. That's awesome. Yeah, I like that new thing they did with combining cards together. Yeah, we played a little bit the other night, Kitty, and my girlfriend and I. I got a poker table and got all

those goddamn thousands of cards out and we started organizing them and then we built some decks played for a few hours yeah you really must have spent a long time organizing it because that picture is thousands and thousands of cards so many it's a lot of goddamn cards uh i have everything separated now by color and type you know so the red sorceries are by themselves and the black instance are by themselves. So soon we will begin the process of putting every single one of them in a binder that I can flip through. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I don't care.

Everybody's like, no, don't put them in a binder. That's stupid. It's like, no. I want to be able to go. I want, I need to look at my red instance. I need all my red spells. I need to look at them. And I'm going to crack up I got a 6 inch binder

it holds thousands of pages and I got enough pages to hold thousands of cards and I'm going to have them all there and I'll be able to flip through every single copy there are cards I've got 6 or 8 copies of it's just how I want it done you have such a big collection now

that it's going to take so many more books of pages to do it than you think. It's going to look like, you know what Saruman's library in Orthanc looks like, where it's just floor to ceiling, just books the whole way. You're going to have to be like,

ah, I need tome number 60 from the fifth floor. You have one of those wheelie ladders to get around. I think you're going to have to be like, ah, I need tome number 60 from the fifth floor. You have one of those wheelie ladders to get around. I think you're going to be surprised at how many of these cards I get into just one 6-inch binder, because one 6-inch binder holds thousands of pages, and

each page that I purchased holds nine cards. I know you're supposed to go 4x4 or whatever, but I don't give a fuck. I got three by three because that's what I wanted to do. And I got enough pages for 2,700 cards. So we'll see what 2,700 cards in a binder

looks like, and then if that works, I'll get another binder. I say this out of experience because I've had that same idea. I've had the same idea to put everything in a binder before. You will accidentally carry one binder too far forward one time, and every card will pour out into an amalgamated mess on the ground, and you will go, that's why Taylor said to keep them in a box.

I see. Because I've done that. It is enraging if you accidentally tilt your binder. And let's say you have five copies of one card, four copies of one card. And so you put four in that same sleeve, you know? And then you need two. And so you take two of them out of that sleeve. That sleeve is now stretched out. And so the tiniest little tip forward, anything less than four cards is going to slip right out. I'll never put more than one card in each sleeve. Each copy, like if I've got eight copies of a card, then one page will be eight copies of that card.

Three, six, and then two more at the bottom, and then there'll just be another card there. Every card gets its own fucking slot, so I can see every card. I just like it because it's easy to carry the box around and fasten it shut, and if you drop it, it's like, oh, okay, at least something happened.

But with those binders, if you drop it, upside down, it's just going to shake everything right out of there, and it's annoying. That sounds like a nightmare scenario, and I'm glad you warned me of it, because I wasn't quite sure how the cards are fixed. Keep it erect.

Yes. Because it's just an open little sleeve at the top that you slide it into, and then it's easy for it to slide out occasionally. Well, I'm looking forward to getting them organized. It felt so much better just getting them out of there just completely a complete homogenous mixture of every fucking thing you feel like you did something you know yeah well i don't know if i don't know if i go that far but but i did get all those goddamn cards organized and it feels a lot better there's so many fucking cards

i have been trying to play row or total war warhammer and oh my god i am a retarded person because i can't figure combat out in this game i am so i like i watching the videos i spent hours hours the other night watching a whole play you know when you come across like a let's play and it's 30 minute sections for the same thing like sieve and you're like who is watching this whole thing like i always wondered that i watched a whole one of those hours in length the whole time being like okay yeah yeah i see how he organized that troop there i see what he did okay that's how you organize it and i go in and immediately i'm trying to wrangle cats as i'm like all right uh spearman up in the front no no no no no that's exactly the opposite of what i wanted you to do don't charge forward don't make yourself exhausted don't run

right into their calvary or whatever and it is i i'm trying so hard i'm building the battles and like they like they have it set so if i'm like playing goblins versus elves or whatever it'll give the elves a pre-sized army and everything because all the game is is just enormous contingents of thousands of troops in formation on random not random but different battlefields it can be attack and defend siege situations open field forest and then you have to attack and so you're organizing 20 contingents of dozens if not hundreds of units and mixing different units together different units being like all right i got to make sure, you know, I place my cavalry over there. They're in the forest, so they won't be spotted.

Oh, they've been spotted. I got to get them out of there. Oh, shit, I didn't look over there for a while, and they send a contingent of trolls, and they're giving a lot of hell to those guys. All right, back them up. Line of sight matters, and that's just the macro of the game.

I feel like an idiot trying to play it because it is so difficult to get this. I'm glad I didn't get into it. At the end of the day, I always end up just like big box over all my troops and just be like what fuck it just see what happens and then it's just not panning out i want to figure it out i'm glad i didn't get into that i could see it looked like a lot of fun but but it is fun but it's hard it looks like the macro part of it looks fun and then the micro of it looks looks really difficult too because there's

so much to know you know it's not just like oh i've got a dragon i guess that matches up well against skeletons that's not how it works like you gotta fit you gotta know what matches up well against what and what special abilities you can use and when and it's it looked very difficult the battle like the actual battle scenes themselves are on a level at which i've never seen any other video game come close. Like, I've never seen large-scale battles like this, where you'll send in 500 spearmen or something, and they'll run forward with their melee cavalry and crash into you, and a bunch of your guys will die, but they'll die too.

And then you can zoom way down from your, like, god mode position to the point where you're watching individuals fighting in actual combat and it's not 500 exact spearmen with the same hats and eyebrows it's different people with different banners on their uh spears with slightly different helmets doing different animations different animations the minotaur animation when those are fighting every once in a while it'll just you know gore someone to death get it stuck on that horn and then shake them off or just something crazy like that it it's real real neat i just can't get anything that i want to happen to happen yeah and so that is very it's quite a kind of trouble but i'm enjoying it overall it's it's a good challenge i'm not quite ready to take

up that mantle just yet i'm still uh enjoying Magic and learning at that. Playing the Xbox game a lot more. Winning more and more on the Xbox game as I get decks dialed in. I like it online I think more than, at least as much as in person. I think you'll change the more you play in person because you have so much

more tactile control and you don't ever do the thing on Magic where you're like okay, I'll have time to play this instant. Or on Xbox, I mean, where you're like, okay, I have this instant, I'm ready to play it, and oh, the timer fucked up, I guess I'm not using it. Oh, yeah, that's horse shit. That's horse shit. I hate when that happens.

And you're definitely right, you do have a lot more control over how you play instants. But what I like is that it resolves every situation for you perfectly. There are some times where if there's a stack and I don't know quite how the stack resolves and if I've applied

an enchantment to this card and then the instant comes in, do I shed that enchantment into my graveyard? I don't always know exactly how things should play out 100% of the time. I can do the basic math of a 3-2 versus a 1-1, but sometimes it's more complicated than that,

and I don't know quite exactly what the rules are. So it's nice that the game is like, ba-da-boom, ba-da-bing, you win. Spells resolve top-down. So if I play a creature and you counter it, that is now on top of my creature in the stack. Neither spell is resolved. If I then counter your counter,

now that's on top of the stack. So we resolve my counter, which counters your card, which means that then my creature resolves as anticipated by me. Sounds like if you had a computer to just do that for you, it'd be a lot nicer. Just remember top-down.

Yeah, I'm glad you're liking it a lot. I haven't played as much on Magic the last couple days because I've been trying to fucking figure this war game out. I just give up on that. It's like you and 18 guys playing it in the world, and you're watching their videos. I'm only playing against computers. I haven't even played a real person yet

because I'll just get butt-fucked, I guarantee it. But it's neat. I really want to figure it out because these Total War games, it's such a cool, large-scope thing. And you feel like you're using real tactics because in Age of Mythology, you can organize in your formations and whatnot. Oh, I'm going to send my hoplites in,

and I'm going to send my mythical trolls in over here and do this. But at the end of the day, really, if you want, you can just be like, my economy is so much better than yours. I'm just going to pump hundreds of the same unit into your base, and you're just going to be overwhelmed. You're going to be fucked. That will not work in this game. Like this game, if you're just like, all right, I'll just make it

so my army's 20,000 of the cheapest units and just overwhelm them. Like, no, it won't work because they'll finagle you out with tactics or it's yeah you feel like you're really an actual battle commander as lame as fuck as that sounds no that's what you're going for it's a simulator kind of it's it looks really cool it just uh i'm not gonna open that jar of worms and get sucked into that. Yeah, let me get that ad readout for you. Who do we got? Who's the lucky fella? Oh, it's a brand new contender.

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microphone at the top stamps Stamps.com. Never go to the post office again. That sounds great. Never go again. Yeah, I actually think that Kitty uses that. I think that Kitty uses that for a lot of stuff because she definitely does her postage at home. I know that for sure. Bill Burr uses it to send out all his merch

according to his podcast. So there you go. Probably worked out a deal with a deal lots of smart people out there using stamps.com saving that skrilla so check them out that was the last ad i think that was the last the last of the ads oh onto something yeah i've got that one the quick one i had so uh everyone knows like there's a jewish cemetery in st louis that got messed with a few days ago where they knocked over some tombstones or gravestones or whatever. And nothing was spray-painted on there, no messages.

And it wasn't super extensive damage. And that makes me think that it might have just been shitty kids who did it because there was nothing like a swastika or anarchy sign or something shitty on there but pence showed up so he could do the thing where they wear like blue gloves and scoop up one leaf and then go get me back to that air conditioned vehicle or whatever it is like he did that and i until now i always assumed like oh it's kind of nice when obama went over and did that or when trump's going and showing up there when bush went over and showed up there and all it caused for me today was traffic because pence showed up and i realized like oh my god like the people who give shit to uh because i i may have even said uh gave obama shit about not showing up at a storm down there at some point just as another like just oh whatever

like impotent rage thing but the more i think about it now it's like he doesn't need to show up there presidents don't need to go to storm sites and don't need to go to these places in the age of the internet. Like, you can just Skype in. Just Skype in. There was no reason for Obama to go down there in the storm. All he would do is be like, okay, I'm visiting here. And then the media goes, okay, so we're all going to glob along with him, clog up these roads, make it so it's harder for people to get where they need to go, harder for the actual cleanup crews to get shit done. Why not just give your message of keep it up guys via skype you know like i really flipped on that just seeing

like this is one of those things that they are 100 doing to show that they are in it you know like it's a political stunt but bill clinton there's no reason to do an office for like two weeks maybe maybe less and he went to philadelphia and while he was there he stopped and got a haircut and he deservedly got tons of shit they're like dude you have a barber that comes to your bedroom your office doesn't matter and they'll take care of your hair for you instead oh no you're a man of the people you got to go shut down like six city blocks in philadelphia where people are working and living and doing their thing so that you can get a haircut.

I think he might have gone to a black barber. A haircut for show. A haircut more or less for show. And he never did it again. Yeah, good. It makes a lot of sense when you see it. Remember when he'd jog on into a Mickey D's and get himself a burger?

That was great. Now that I think was not for show. He's out there running, trying to lose weight. I'm hungry. He'd duck in, grab a cheeseburger, and run to the burger. That was him trying. I feel a bit peckish, boy. We're going to have to duck on into Mickey D's. Yeah.

Oh, God. Get me through another night with that horrible bitch. Don't tell her about this. A little MSG. I'm not running for my health i'm just running away how are we feeling about the um security costs around yeah apparently to keep the trump family safe is something like 12 times more than the uh obama family well the travel right i think it's the travel and the fact that I'm guessing this is just Woody talking

that because she's staying in New York it's complicated to secure that compared to her being at the White House where there's infrastructure for that I think a lot of it's travel right now because they were calling it travel and they were saying that Trump had spent like 12 times as much in the first month

but it's his first month let's see if a pattern arises here if he's spending 12 times as much in the first month, but it's his first month. Let's see if a pattern arises here. Yeah, if he's spending 12 times the norm every single month, we need to rein that in. That's pretty outrageous, although it's just a small amount of money in the grand scheme of things.

We should talk about $15 billion walls. It seems like he could handle all of this and get people who already like him to be raving about it. If he just went like, yeah, I realize I've been spending so much money more than President Obama before me, which is why I've decided I'm going to be footing all of this excess bill. I'm going to spend up to the point that Obama spent at his $80 million, $90 million, whatever, and every bit past that is all on me.

And so I just wanted to let the American people, or however they handled it. He won't do that, of course, but it seems like that's a good way. I think that's real money, though. It's one thing for him to forego the half million dollar salary. It's another thing for him to come up with 90 million in travel costs. He could

do it. He just wouldn't like it. I don't think he would buy 90 million dollars worth of credibility with that money, and he knows that. He broke the art of the deal, or at least he paid someone to do so. He knows what he's doing. He knows that $90 million worth of fuel out of his pocket won't buy him $90 million worth of goodwill from the American people. But that's why I'm saying he would do it after he got to the point that Obama did.

And so by the time he got to $70 million – no, no, no. I mean like over Obama's term, I mean. Like over the term, Obama spent like $100 million or 90, whatever it was. I was saying he could say, you know, after I get to that threshold, all of it's for sale by me. And then I guarantee as soon as he started getting close to that thing, he'd be like, Trump, taking the train

to Philadelphia. Stagecoach. He's having everybody come to him he's like no I can't make it to the UN this year maybe you guys come here sir it's in New York how much is it

it costs he's going to Mar-a-Lago all the time and I really feel like there's a conflict there to be a winter White house that's kind of neat like is it no no no i looked looked it up to try and understand what it was more mar-a-lago and apparently like a socialite heiress kind of lady in the 20s maybe she was born twice i don't know when she made it but she made it with the idea of like this is going to be where presidents stay like this is going to be the winter white house and she died

in like the 70s and trump bought it and then from the president but like obviously it's too expensive but it is kind of neat and it's like oh that lady who made it in like the 20s wanted it to be a winter white house and now 50 years or 40 years after she's dead, it is, in a way. I feel like he's advertising it by going there, that there's a conflict that we should be fussing about. What's the conflict, though? Because he's the only one profiting. That's the conflict.

But he's not open to any manipulation. If he were going to Mark Cuban's club and bringing a lot of people there, any manipulation like like if he were going to like you know some mark cuban's club and putting a lot of bringing a lot of people there then then then mark cuban has a little has something over on him maybe it's his club i agree with you like him well he's using the office to profit is is the problem that that's what you know that may be true although it's hard to get around that right like he's he's such a unique outlier of a president in that he's you know this billionaire real estate guy who owns or controls or has something to do with so hard to get around it

like you can find corner cases but the fact is he's gone to his own golf course like five out of six weekends or something like that it's not you know, it's a little quarter case, like oddball thing. No, he's fucking going to his resort every weekend. Like it's, if you were to say, oh yeah, you know, he owns the Trump Plaza and some ambassador from, you know, the UK stayed there one night, like shit like that's going to happen, you know?

Well, he was hosting the Japanese prime minister on one of those golfing outings. I know that that was the whole deal, know well he was hosting the japanese prime minister on one of those golfing outings i know that that was the whole deal that shizu was was coming and then that's when they had that uh korea security breach thing sure yeah yeah which was not i'm really surprised by the fact that he doesn't want to be in the white house seemingly like in my head if i run for president and i get like and i win i find I find out that I win. My first thought is like, can I go like right now? And they're like, no, the Obamas are still there. You can't go. They haven't even moved out. It's like, I'll be real quiet. Like I promised. I just want to look around

and like, see what's going on. Like if I was president, like I'd want to be in the white house. That's cool. Why would you not? I don't think it is cool. That's why I think that it's a big government office building and he has some quarters there. I don't think it's cool. I bet the halls are filled with people that he doesn't trust. Every office is filled with someone that he doesn't know. He cannot feel comfortable there. It's where he works.

Whereas Mar-a-Lago, he owns the motherfucking place. He probably knows the busboys or at least he's seen them before. I bet it's cool. I bet you that when he opens the door there's no tours going outside like oh there's no tours period room yeah that's true too um i i bet you that like the the living quarters are bigger than everybody else's house that it's magnificent and that the president is not putting up with like untrustworthy bullshit

and even if he was he's got he's got those people he's constant leaks are everywhere right it's constantly bedroom like not in his bedroom but you were saying the living quarters weren't cool and i bet they are i don't think they are i don't think they're nearly as cool as his shit i wonder i don't like he's not trump think about what his living quarters look like they're shitty man they're all like oh come on you've seen it it's all gold and ridiculous and now it's over the top it's not your cup of tea it's down front cup of tea if it weren't it wouldn't look like a casino yeah i don't like the the opulent like uh as south park would put it persian look with like all the like it would

be cool it's a really cool aesthetic for a hotel like if i go to a hotel and it's like that i would be like oh this is really neat this is novel this is cool like i i don't live with marble and granite everywhere and really cool fountains and gold inlay on things like but i wouldn't want to live there it costs two hundred thousand dollars to just be a member of that fucking club man that that's got to be a nice place. It cost $100,000. Trump won the presidency and he doubled the price. And there's still a waiting list. Like, there's a conflict.

There's a businessman right there. Well, you can make excuses for it, but it seems like a conflict. It sounds like a great way for him to make money. Seems like a way to make sure that fewer people will try applying. I don't know where the conflict of interest is. You're not allowed to pimp your daughter's perfume line when you're president. Seems like a way to make sure that fewer people will try applying because they're going to hear. You're not allowed to pimp your daughter's perfume line when you're president.

You're not allowed to pimp your own businesses. You're not supposed to be picking winners and losers. You're supposed to be serving the public. You're not allowed to, say, promote Subway over Quiznos as the weight loss sandwich, right? No, I was making fun of Michelle Obama for doing that. Oh, did she do that? Yeah. Big campaign. It feels like Trump does that all the time.

He promoted J.Crew. He promoted his daughter's stuff. He promoted Carrier. He promoted Ford over Chevy, if I recall correctly. Like Trump is always picking winners and losers in businesses and it seems like he should stay out. And I looked at the Obama quarters. I guess it's a little out of date,

but it looked pretty nice. I wanted to see that. They can't change it that much. It's just, it's the White House, you know? Like, I doubt they do renovations after every time. Yeah. I bet they do a lot with the furniture. Oh, of course, all the furniture and shit

and drapes and stuff. But, you know, a room's a room. This is very nice. I'm not going to say anything bad about this. All I'm going to add is that Donald Trump's worth $4 billion even by the most conservative estimates, and he's known to be a guy who lives in the lap of luxury. I bet he looks at this like,

hmm, this is all right. I got hotel rooms better than this. Yeah, he probably does, and he does have hotel rooms better than that, I'm sure, because he owns a lot of hotels, and I'm sure that some of those penthouse suites are just bananas. But even so, just don't move into the White House. I don't like conflicts of interest. I don't like the idea of someone having something over on our president. Like a blackmail situation. Like a blackmail situation.

Sure, like a blackmail situation. Or, you know, if... I'm trying to think what an actual... If he were going... I'm trying to think of a good example of it. I just don't think what he's doing endangers America in any way and makes him more susceptible to any sort of influence or anything like that.

He's not on the hook for anything. Well, blackmail's not the only kind of conflict of interest, right? I mean, he could be conflicted. And then he's like, all right, I'm gonna leave the White House because I make money when I go to my personal resorts, right? I'm gonna do this this weekend.

I'm gonna meet this foreign leader. Instead of it, like maybe Camp David, which is safe and it's cheap to secure because it's like a presidential thing. They're all set up. Everyone's been doing it. But oh no, this time we're going to Trump Tower, which is not set up for this kind of thing.

The Secret Service, the American people, they have to make it set up for this kind of event. But, you know, Trump hooks up money in his own pocket by going to Trump Tower, by going to Mar-a-Lago. He could double the price of the admission. That's a conflict of interest. So blackmail, I don't know. No one likes being able to bego Lago. He could double the price of the admission. That's a conflict of interest. So blackmail, no one likes being able to be blackmailed, but for him to make money by going to these things,

that's a conflict. He should be acting as president, not businessman slash president. Hmm. I don't have a problem with him pitching his daughter's shit either. There's another one, right? You know, like, that's...

I don't feel like he's solely devoted to the American people. He's also trying to line his daughter's pockets, line his own pockets. What is the conflict of interest? Like, who's... So certainly when he says, we're going to go meet with a Japanese PM at Mar-a-Lago, he is profiting from that. So who is at conflict with that?

Are the American people? The taxpayers, for example. It would be cheaper and better if they met at Camp David, which is designed for this kind of activity. Yeah, it's made for it. I think Camp David is like a whole – It's like a vacation resort or something. Yeah, it's horseshit itself. Like, it's some sort of, like, I think the FDR make that shit. I remember reading this whole thing about how it's known.

But, you know, it's secure. Presidents have been using this thing for, I'm making it up, 50 years. And when they go to Camp David, like, the place is ready. When they go to Mar-a-Lago, you know, suddenly the Secret Service has to go out there and pre-check it and block things and look at rifle scope lines of sight or whatever the hell it is they have to do to make the place ready for foreign leaders to visit. And that's why, by and large, he's 12 times more expensive to protect than Obama was. I think it makes sense to do the stuff at his place, though.

Especially the Japanese thing, because the Japanese guy's a golfer. They were gonna golf. And can you imagine if... Can you imagine if you didn't play on your own goddamn golf course? There's no way. If I own my own golf course, and I'm inviting the Prime Minister of Japan over to play golf

with me, that we're gonna go play on somebody else's fucking links. We're going to my place. I'm inviting the Prime Minister of Japan over to play golf with me, that we're going to go play on somebody else's fucking links. We're going to my place. I'm going to show you not only what the United States is about, I'm going to show you what Donald Trump is about. I like it. I like that part. I understand that it's more expensive, but it seems like we're pinching pennies when gallons are just oozing out everywhere

when it comes to federal spending. God, everything's so expensive. The wall that they keep talking about, this $15 billion, that pales in comparison to a trip to Mar-a-Lago. I don't like it that he's more expensive because it's a tiny bit of it's coming out of all of our collective pockets, I suppose. I would prefer if Melania decided to live in the White House. But part of me also says, like, he won. Like, he is the president. He should be able to go to his house. He should be able to go to New York,

where he used to live. He should be able to go to his resort if he feels like he needs to decompress or he feels like that's the best way to host the Japanese prime minister. And they're going to be, at least on the surface at least for for appearances sake it's gonna look like a a conflict of interest every single time because you're gonna be able to make that case that hey it'd be cheaper if you if you hosted you know the queen of england at quiznos why are you why are you here why are you there like it's always gonna that question's always gonna arise but god he's a fucking billionaire. He could go to Camp David. It's for this.

He won. He's president. It's like a president's retreat, right? There's a golf course there. And you think it sucks? Is it as nice as his? I don't know. His is nicer.

He would, though. He would know. Have you ever golfed? Never. I hit a lot of balls. I don't know he would though he would never golf never never i get a lot of balls i don't know what the yeah i've done that too i i don't i don't know which golf course is better camp david or marlago that's not the kind of thing that i want to look we're gonna look at no at all but um uh i don't know i this we're kind of i don't think we're going to agree but the it bothers me that he's going to his personal places, hooking himself up, doubling the prices because he's president,

and pimping his daughter's thing. There's a lot of, like, he's really profiteering off of this election he won instead of serving the people. Or I don't know if you would say instead, though. That may not be fair. He is profiting from this perhaps while simultaneously serving the people. I mean, I'm paying for it. They're not be fair. He is profiting from this, perhaps, while simultaneously serving the people. I mean, I'm paying for it. They're not mutually exclusive.

He could be doing wonderful things behind the scenes at his golf course while running up crazy bills. They're not mutually exclusive. You're right. I really don't like the Ivanka thing, though. Him pipping his daughter's stuff? The promoting her clothing line or whatever? I don't remember exactly what he said i know that

he's tweeted something to the regard of like nordstrom was being a very unfair to her or something along those lines um just to pivot on that topic every time he says something's unfair i think you fucking childish pussy you pussy you fucking sissy pussy little boy crying about life being unfair. Everyone else in the country knows things are unfair. Shit's unfair. Life isn't fair. Someone has to tell this asshole that life isn't fair.

CNN's not fair. Fox News isn't fair. Nordstrom's not fair. Carrier's not fair. Chevy's not fair. Everyone's not fair to Donald Trump. Shut the fuck up. Nothing's fair you pussy yo we all just sort of plow through and achieve the most we can achieve in a world that isn't fair yet he goes on twitter and cries about it no one else talks about life being unfair as much as donald trump and he's a billionaire you know trump life's been more than fair to you

those comments are put in the news, whereas most people, most normal bitch-moaning complainers don't get that sort of CNN highlight. Something about unfair is particularly baby to me and pussy. Like, I wish I had a more... Shrink it down, right? Let's say that you said something on this podcast, and so Jackie's side business was completely sidetracked.

Now, let's say that she had a tire dealership, and now no one will buy her tires. The whole world is saying, no more Jackie tires. And she's over there like, I did so much research. I did the marketing and development. These are my tires. I was proud of them. They were in every Nordstrom case everywhere. Everyone wanted a

jackie tire it would seem unfair if just because of some shit you said on here all of a sudden nobody wanted to buy her tire suddenly her cable line is totally out that anyone can look down on ivanka is always the one who's like if she says something political it's like oh i want to work for women's rights i want to work toward uh against human trafficking against this against that it's never like, yeah, and too many Mexicans, too. You don't get the Evonk. You can't say anything bad about Evonk because she doesn't say anything bad.

Sure. Clearly a smart person. Gorgeous. So hot. Not as hot as Sarah XXX, though. Sarah underscore XXX. That's always right at the forefront of your mind. Sponsor.

Kyle's not doing this sponsorship for money. I mean, we can get money involved if that's what it takes, but I'm open to suggestions or whatever. Let's get off Trump. Let's get off Trump. I agree with you. He's spending far too much money. He should spend less. I do like that he uses

Mar-a-Lago because I bet it's better and i like i i think there's a little bit of something to be said for like someone comes over to meet your world leader and he's like this is my country and oh by the way this is just where i fucking lived two years ago three years ago this is just mine this is how i roll it seems so i would be impressed you know what else i was thinking about like the course thing is that Prime Minister of Japan guaranteed he has played Camp David five, ten times.

And I bet that a lot of them are like, to my understanding, you have a couple of courses to choose from. I have multiple, multiple good ones. I'm going to go to Baralaga. You're going to love it. Oh, I'm getting so tired of Camp David. If he starts meeting Japanese leaders in Scotland, I'll be more pissed because he's got courses there.

Yeah, he has courses over there. I have a new topic, but I'm happy to do anybody else's. Mine? Let's see what you mean. The NHL trade deadline. Kyle. God damn it. we talked about ufc we didn't talk about yeah so it looks like uh jimmy might go to bellator i don't know if they're gonna be able to pay him what do you know we're not talking about trade deadlines come on um i am

like copy paste started let me that's honestly the only news i've been following like all the all the political stuff like the past week or so, like coming through Twitter, it's more been like, all right. No, no, blues haven't traded Shattenkirk yet. This is a good one. Okay. Go ahead, Woody. It's on the screen.

People can read it. You've been kidnapped. The characters from the last TV show you watched are trying to rescue you. Who's coming to save you? I would have liked how fucked are you as a, as a, I'm good. Is this Top Gear?

Yeah. That's the last show I watched. Top Gear. So Jeremy Clarkson, is that his name? Clarkson. Yeah. Jeremy Clarkson,

uh, Hammond and James May. They're coming. They'll be coming. Oh my God. I have no chance. You have no chance? Oh,

there's a 0% chance that if I'm kidnapped and only the people from the last show I watched can try and save me, they're going to make a bunch of jokes and then they're going to forget about the challenge and I'm going to rot in that cell. You know, Jennifer Lawrence come on to drive a Toyota Prius around a track as a star in the reasonably priced car or whatever. Oh, if you guys don't watch that show,

it's not on anymore, but that's such a good show. Well, I was watching the A-Team just before. No, I was watching The Office. So I'm guessing that Jim and Dwight are going to come try to get me out of wherever I am. I hope they send Toby, too, because I think

he might be the Scranton Strangler, too. So if things get rough he could take somebody out well the way the way it would happen is michael and dwight and jim and toby would come and i was watching season nine no dwight i mean no uh no michael well whatever we're including michael they would break you out and then it would be you michael jim and dwight running to safety and then you get on a plane and be flying back and then it would be you, Michael, Jim, and Dwight running to safety. And then you'd get on a plane and be flying back. And then it would pan back to Toby, who was still in the cell as he tripped and got locked back in. And it was just him being like, I assume they'd come back for me.

Well, Pakistan's not that bad after all. I live in Peru or wherever the fuck you are. But yeah, I think you'd be just as fucked as me because the office guys aren't doing any better than the top gear. At least my guys have cars. I have two answers. So the last TV show I watched, which is what the question is, was Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

So I'm kind of fucked. I think they're just going to pay attention to each other. They'll all be self-absorbed, and I'll end up like Cricket, you know, just burnt and life ruined and destroyed is that his name yeah we would show up and do that thing where they have the conversation at the last second and ditch something where they out in front of your cell like about to unlock dennis would be like what have we been doing for this ridiculous man here why are we here guys we don't have any plans guys guys and they'd be like you know what you're

right like we just have a bunch of paint and we showed up have any plans guys guys, and they'd be like, you know what you're right Like we just have to bunch Peyton. We showed up here Maybe like yeah, you know what? Let's get back to the bar and then that would be it you'd be like guys The last thing I watched was I boy. Did you guys watch that on Netflix? No, what is it? So it's a movie which is why I brought up to um It takes place in England. One of the stars is, you know, a girl has fallen for a pyramid scheme. Who is that from Game of Thrones?

Paris? Oh, no, the Faceless Man. Sans? No, no, no, but it's the girl. It starts with an R. He'll get it. I was coming. So Arya plays the female lead in it.

There's a guy. And basically early in the movie, four bad guys rape Aria. And the hero of it runs because he's kind of cowardly. And he gets shot in the back of the head. And he wakes up. And they, like, repair his brain. And now he has superpowers. And he can modify electronics.

He's burning people's phone. He's transferring money. He's like taking control of cars. He's basically the world's best hacker, but he doesn't need a keyboard because he can do it all with his now super brain. And I think he's going to save me. He's like a Magneto kind of guy,

but with electronics in a way, like just do things like in the nineties. I was checking in a 90s movie. I'm going to avoid that one. It was good. I liked it. I was interrupted and I had to come back and finish it. I liked it. I think you'd like it. I'm going to check out the new episode of It's Always Sunny. I haven't seen that yet.

The newest one. Last week's. I watched last week's. I liked it a lot. You should definitely check that out. It's very dark. I remember the week's. I liked it a lot. You should definitely check that out. It's very dark. Very dark ending to last week's episode. I remember the VR thing. It's called PTSD, D-E-E, as in D Reynolds, Deandra.

Right, because she finds the man of her dreams. Well, she finds love in strange places. And it doesn't work out like you expect. It never does. Yeah. Have you given her new show a shot? Yeah, I watched an episode of that. It's not quite so bad.

Caitlin Olsen is the actress's name. And she's got a show on every Tuesday and Wednesday, one on FXX and one on Fox. Her new show is basically, for all intents and purposes, same character. And it's pretty much in a situation that you might see in an episode of it's always sunny um i may may have like the exact relations wrong about this but basically like her sister um and and and her sister's husband end up going to prison or something

and i've watched the whole series so basically what it is is it's a super, super rich family and a son and a daughter. And there's a really rich – their parents are super, super wealthy. They run off to a different country because of tax stuff and aren't keeping in touch with their children. And the only person who's in charge is their mom's sister, who is Caitlin Olsen. And she is basically the one who's in charge and then there's a really fat uh mexican maid who's very funny as well but it was i didn't think it would be that great of a show because i thought it would constantly be reminding me of like this just isn't as good as sunny because i have her so burned in my mind as d reynolds

but she is really fucking funny in whatever you put her in. She's great. I really like her. Yeah, I think it's cool that she's got a show, two shows right now. I like her. And I like that show. It's pretty good. The Mexican Maid was also on that Fox show Raising Hope, which is another kind of under the radar, pretty funny fucking show. It's the one with like three generations of people living under one household and the oldest of them is like 30 like it's like teenage parents who had

like it's like it's like a it's like teen parents who had a kid who was a teen parent and then the alzheimer's uh grandmother is also in the house so you have like four generations, like ranging from a grandma to a baby, and everybody's very stupid. They mispronounce words, and they're very white trash, and they're very poor, and it's good. It's funny. Check that out. Yeah, it's on Netflix.

Anybody who wants to check it out. I liked it way more than I thought I would. I have an edgy topic. Oh, edgy? I don't know. I don't like to shy away from edgy things it I don't know how this will go over anyway so here is where are we headed here's a great list ad this was in my area and rainbow kitten surprise 211 cat's cradle I guess this is a band or something. So here's the

deal folks. I have one ticket to a sold out show to see Rainbow Kitten Surprise on February 11th at Cats Cradle. I bought two tickets with the optimistic hope that I would find someone to go with me and split the costs of a hotel room in Chapel Hill. That didn't work out. So I'm looking for a concert buddy to see the show and split a hotel. I know running to Craigslist comes across as desperate, but I'm actually relatively cool. My friends routinely rate me as a comfortable 7 out of 10, and I just want to hear some good music and not worry about driving back to Raleigh afterwards. I'm a woman in my mid-20s, veterinarian student, sarcastic as fuck, and I really love music. If you happen to have thick skin, a beard, and enjoy whiskey, that'd be a big plus. The whiskey is negotiable. A headshot

would be appreciated. My Instagram is katiewhatever. If you're some crazy-ass serial killer that thinks this sounds like a convenient setup, please keep shopping. It's just a different concert. I'm tough as shit, and I have large, large suspicious friends with me but they're on a valentine's date and don't want to share a room am i crazy or is this girl like down to fuck she has concert tickets and she wants to split a hotel room with some guy i feel like she's at least open to the idea i have her pictures yeah yeah i think it almost goes without saying. I mean, the fact that she included physical requirements. She said, oh, I want a guy who's a bearded guy and likes whiskey.

I guess she didn't say he's good looking or anything. What? Well, she's not very attractive. I think she's pretty. She does look like a man, bro. I think she might be an eight out of ten i don't know she's no definitely not that she's not someone that you would see in the street and be like wow they're really attractive but that's certainly not someone i'm having trouble seeing you would see her and you would say there's a person yeah you'd say there's someone. She's female.

Yeah, I mean... I enlarged it. Sarah McMahon is probably better looking. She's not fat. No, no, no. That's true. That is true. She's not fat, and I would even say she's bigger boob than average.

This is not an ugly girl. This is not an ugly girl. This is not an ugly girl at all. Like she's, she's not anyone that you would write home about, but she, she is, she's absolutely no, she's absolutely average. Dude.

I set this topic up like weeks ago. She's very selective on who she allows to follow her on Instagram. It was not easy for me to get these photos. People. Are you serious? Yeah. She's a five and a half planning this for weeks trying to get through that's really fun that's funnier than this whole topic is the fact that you've been sitting on this and i'm listening to the

band like maybe i want to go it was uh it happened on uh you know a couple weeks ago she seems like she'd be fun like a fun loving kind of person like the message doesn't come off as like creepy or anything it comes off as granted it is hard for women to be in a way but it's like it just doesn't she seems like a good person just wants to see a concert and kind of wants to have some fun too yeah make it like if you reverse the genders it kind of it's it's pretty scary though it's very desperate yeah it's very desperate, too. There's something wrong with this girl if she doesn't know a man and she doesn't have any ability to find one who would accept free concert tickets and a trip with her.

There's something wrong with this person. This is the woman trump card, right? There are no women out there who do not have dicks in the bottle on the shelf, okay? Taylor is shaking his head emphatically right now for you radio you are you are totally right about that that's the big red flag i've always said this held out by the fact that she used craigslist to get this little message out there so women if a guy goes into the bar and says hello everybody i would like to have sex he will not end up having sex if a woman does does the same, she'll have seven suitors.

She's just doing it electronically. And I've always envied that superpower. Women are the gatekeepers. You know how cats and dogs will lay next to people that are about to die and they just kind of have a sense and they know? Women can smell desperation like a bloodhound on a you know deer hunt or whatever the fuck and they it's second they sense that desperation no interest because that's just evolutionary you know you you want someone where you feel like you have to attain

that if they were good they'd be in demand you know but kyle's right like from this message like it doesn't i don't think this is a bad person or someone who's crazy, but the fact that it's on Craigslist is a big red flag that this wasn't first put on Facebook or something like that. Well, Facebook first, of course. Get a buddy, a friend, a friend of a friend, someone in our circle of people we fucking know. You get a stranger in a hotel room, she could get murdered. It doesn't speak well to her circle of friends at all

if of those people, none of them wanted to come with her like do they know this is that really annoying girl who says she's sarcastic so pause for a second pause for a second let's say i want this hypothetically you're single you see this and it's in time do you say yes no do you don't want to go to this concert with her absolutely not i don't what the rainbow people were here asking me to go to a concert with her, I wouldn't go. She's not attractive, first of all. She's like a five and a half tops. Her face is fucked. Her face is fucked.

I'm sorry. From the neck down, she's better than that. Well, I mean, from the crotch to her shoulders, which is all we can see, she probably weighs 140 pounds or something. I just don't think she's in... Look, hey, this is just me judging her as skin deep as I She probably weighs 140 pounds or something. I just don't think she's in... Yeah.

Maybe even less. Look, hey, this is just me judging her as skin deep as I possibly can from this one blurry tiny photograph. But let me just say, there's so many things wrong with this. It's so easy for a girl to get a guy to go to this concert with her without going to Craigslist. It just is. She could hop on Tinder and make this happen in half an hour. I think she has spunk. You like her because you don't know her. Well, I don't know her.

But I think she's got spunk. I don't know. There was something about it. Is that what that STP is called? I will say that. I worry about that a little bit. Look, it's hard. I don't know her.

I don't know anything about her. I just feel like if she's hopping into bed with a stranger, this't her first time that is another thing that's a red flag is that if you are into this like i'm gonna go on this because i think i have a good chance of getting laid if it this has happened before i would imagine for her like this it seems like this is the level of comfort that she's written to where it's like, I've done this before. Maybe like I,

I will invite random guys to go to concerts and then we bang and then that's it, which is fine. If that's what she wants to do. Yeah. I, she's go, go for it.

She's, it is a little positive, but it's an attitude, right? She's, she's in favor of sex. And I think that's cool. I just wish that she was somehow less experienced and still in favor of sex. And I think that's cool. I just wish that she was somehow less experienced

and still in favor of sex. You know, if she was my potential girlfriend. I don't know. The more Kyle talks about it, you're really bringing up reasonable, lucid points about for her to have to post this means that at least a couple other bridges were crossed on the way here

that for a normal person like that wouldn't need to be well mark steve joe john and bill all said i'm a cunt and they won't come so like that's what happened like like how many men does she know and none of them fit the bill for a companion to come along with this concert like like it's just it's beyond the pale that this is the situation. If sex is included in this little thing, then the fact that none of her guy friends would go with her on this speaks volumes.

I read a tone in the Craigslist ad that was appealing to me. It was like, hey, look. More pics. I'm fun. That's on someone else's Instagram FYI

so you gotta scroll what am I if you scroll down you'll see a few pics of her is she picking something out of the grass that's her with those two animals that's her smiling with that guy and their faces are together.

That's her wearing the pink 100-man wolf pack shirt. That's her with her friend's hand on her shoulder and the bandanas on. That's her at the very bottom with the green hat. We're really stalking this girl. Stalking her good. We're not showing this to anyone right now, are we? Okay, good. I really don't want to. I did show the other picture,

but I didn't go to the stock level. All I did was Google her username. I didn't call my sources or anything. Hey, Bill, I want you to search this whore up for me. Something about the way

she wrote the ad. Maybe the fact that she's a veterinarian student. She's probably very clever. I think she's neat. I just mean she likes syringes. My biggest deterrent to it is that special K is ketamine. That's what this

is about. It's all a big ploy for her for her ketamine ring. It sounds really cruel the way we're talking about this girl, but my thoughts are that there's something fucking wrong with her if she's putting this ad there on Craigslist. It just sounds like a weird situation to me. I am a bit surprised after some Googling to find she's a real human being, to be honest.

I don't think she's unattractive. I think she's pretty average. Sure, yeah. I do honest. I don't think she's unattractive. I think she's pretty average. Sure, yeah. I do too. I don't think she's ugly at all, but it's just the fact that it's posted on Craigslist is a little odd for something like this. And I also don't know, what kind of band is this?

The Rainbow Kittens? I've been listening a bit. It's actually not that bad. This is a bit of Rainbow Kittens right here. I'll take your word for it. I can't play it. I don't know. That'll be the thing that dings me on this show.

Oh, I'm out of topics. That was my last one. Let's see then. Did I have topics? I have things open here. Yeah, I have a thing. Let me just find here. We have AMA questions, which I will link you to.

Oh, good call. Yes, yes, yes. Yes, there's a Patreon level that allows you to ask questions to members of the show. Yeah, to Taylor and Kyle, what is the best way to get into Magic? Hearing you guys talk about it really intrigues me about the game. So I'm going to answer this one, I think. There's dual decks. It's definitely the

dual decks. Dual decks, D-U-E-L not D-U-A-L, that you can buy are really cheap. You get two decks that are pre-assembled and made to fight against each other. They're like $20 for two, or like $15 for a dual deck set. And you and a friend can sit across with pre-made decks without having to go

through and count cards and figure shit out. And you're going to start playing immediately. And, uh, so that's the best way to like start getting into it. You might want to watch a YouTube video so you understand how the mana works and how the, uh,

the turns work. But other than that, I would get dual decks and watch a YouTube video or two and you're right into it. And the good thing about it is a lot of those dual decks come with some strong cards in there. There's a Planeswalker that's going to be right in almost every single one of them it seems like, right?

Yeah, it comes with a card deck. It's a pool of cards that they make in a deck. It's meant to work together. So you're not going to be looking at them like, this is a green one and a red one and a black one. How do I mesh these together? It's going to be a simple straightforward, this is a green one and a red one and a black one how do i mesh these together it's going to be a simple straightforward this is a black and red deck you can see you'll be able to read and figure out pretty quickly oh okay so all these cards

have haste that's the key word i'm working with here or something like that so i'd say the easiest way to get into it is what kyle said there um also you can go to friday night magics um once you've learned a bit and usually there are some helpful people there that that love teaching new people how to play they can be really helpful and most of the people at those places are going to be really cool anyway in my experience they're all nice nobody's nobody's like in that well this is nerdy let's all pull back a little bit and don't and act like we don't love it like totally but everybody's just like fucking in on it and loving it and it's fun to like be in an environment where like all right

just like everybody likes this same kind of stupid nerdy thing that i like and it's fun like we have that community but um also the xbox game that kyle's been going on about that's an excellent way to learn the one on their xbox one right now is free so you can download that and just play it just don't buy any cards just play what they give you for free and then as far as youtube channels i haven't watched many in a long time but uh talarian community college is a good one to look up it's like t-o-l-a-r-i-o-n or something talarian community college he's this really funny uh goofy professor who explains shit about magic and does reviews on quality stuff you've been watching those videos to help you pick out the highest

quality like boxes and sleeves and shit like that yeah i think yeah whenever i get into something like this i try to do as much research as i can and try to find the people who are experts at it or at least the people who are experts at teaching it and uh and you know get good at it and then you know my strategy for for trying to get good at every game has always been just pick one thing that seems to be an established thing that works and then just hammer it home repeatedly all day every day constantly over and over and over same fucking repetitions until you know it inside and out and then it doesn't matter if you're a well-rounded player you can you can sit down and be good at something that's what i did with age of mythology with fucking every video game ever and what i'm doing with magic you know i'm looking at

one particular way to play and trying to get good at that. It's a blast, dude. I encourage you to get into it. Lots of fun. It'll suck you in and it costs quite a bit of money in the end, but it doesn't have to if you don't want it to. I haven't spent more. I've spent including the table I bought, I've spent like $300.

Something like that. I bought a big oval poker table to do this thing on. You don't know much you are like testing my willpower at times when I bet a picture with a bunch of cards and I'm like Like you feel when you think about it Taylor you haven't ordered cards online in a long time What was I trying to convince you of the other day in forever the last time you built the deck It was a five hundred six hundred dollar deck But that was that was a year and a half ago, Taylor. If you

prorate that, it's nothing. It's nothing. You can do another deck. You're right. I am. And look at those cards Kyle just bought. I wouldn't be going over the line. Just one deck. I'm not going to start building two or anything. I'm not going to find a card in the middle of the first deck

and be like, just make a deck and do that. I've never done that every time. I was trying to convince Taylor the other day to get on the Magic Online, which is like the PC version of Magic, which is equally respected as the live action version. You can play tournaments. You can win money. You can become world famous by being good at Magic Online. And he's like, no, no, no, no, no. I'll get in there. I'll have to buy those cards. I'll be spending thousands of dollars. Like, no, no. And I'm like,

but look, Taylor, here's what's going to happen. You'll get on there. You'll start playing well. People will start noticing you're playing well. We got a little bit of a platform here. All of our fans will start listening in. They'll take a small interest in Magic. But how do they play, right? How do they get good? Well, you can help them get good. You build your own decks. You order lots of cards. You assemble these decks.

You sell them, $40, $50 a pop. Pre-assembled Taylor decks. They come in a special little box. After a while, your name rises. You become quite famous for doing this. You start making quite a bit of money doing it too. Then all of a sudden, you're not Taylorlor anymore you're taylor the card master and and and the people at magic the gathering start catching on to this right and they're like who is this taylor like and then

the next thing you know the next thing you know they've made a taylor the magnificent card and and you're like the guy who like creates artifacts at will you're a planeswalker. You're a planeswalker, and every plus one is like two artifact tokens. You become a card. What are my other abilities? Yeah. Alright, four hour show, 45 minutes of magic talk so far.

No, but what happens, Kyle? I need to know how my story ends. We're going to transition to the new lawnmowers. This year, John Deere's coming out with a 14-horsepower fucking lawnmower. That's amazing. Do you know how wide that deck is? We're talking 60 inches of cutting power. First of all, 14 horsepower and 60 inches is less than anything I own.

But next question? Yeah. I like this one. I guess I can't find the one I like now. Oh, go ahead. Did you want to go? It's your turn anyway. Someone asked me, how is Jackie's mother doing?

And how are the Woodworths doing living with her? Has anything changed compared to when she would just visit? So I'm trying to respect her privacy. But I'll say that she started her treatment. She has a very, very tough fight In front of her And when I was like 19 or 20 I forget how old I was

Probably 20 or 21 She let me stay at her house I got a job in North Jersey Working for this construction company Doing house payables and receivables And I lived in her basement Or her attic or something I lived in her house for a while For months and it was very nice of her i haven't forgotten and

now the tables have turned so does it feel good i bet it does it's more like it's my duty i'm not like it's just like all right of course i would it's got to be rewarding in some way there's no shame in that it's got to feel good to repay this debt that you owe in some small way. From long ago when you needed the help. That's the thing that matters. You needed that place to stay and she provided. And here we are again. The tables have turned.

She needs somewhere to stay too. It's got to feel good. You've got to be rewarding to be able to pay back that kindness from long ago. I guess the way Taylor phrased it better. I know that I'm doing the right thing, but I haven't gotten all caught up in the nobility of it or anything. As far as I don't know.

She needs some care sometimes. I feel like it's insulting to say that I have another kid, but there's another person around the house who needs care. It's a sacrifice we make willingly. That's great great that's really awesome well you should feel good about yourself for it but not jackie's better than me yeah

what would you change in the usc what rule or anything i guess because the question is pretty blank statement so after joe retires right first not change anything that's say joe live out the rest you know 15 more years of his career whatever it is and um then we allow the 12 to 6 elbows and soccer kicks but that's what i was gonna say too yeah um i think joe would be fine with 12 to 6 elbows uh nobody wants to deal with a soccer kick though i think they should be part of the sport i would add the soccer kicks too i really would i'd add would. I'd add stomps. I'd add stomps, soccer kicks, you know, no biting, no eye gouging. Get in there.

Let's go. Don't break any fingers either. I see you. Yeah, yeah. There's a bunch of rules I like. I like that you can't put your fishhooks, poke eyes, although apparently you can do that. Yeah, the best of the best do it.

That whole kicking a downed opponent thing, that becomes legal after Joe's gone. It's like, how do you think he got downed? Yeah, right? I earned that. Let me finish up here. He didn't just trip and fall and now I'm kicking him. It's not like we're playing basketball and I'm stomping him. Or maybe he did. Don't trip. I punched him in the head as hard as I could and now I'm going to stomp him in the face as hard as I can. This is what I

get for not tripping. Yeah, I like both of those things, and I don't think they're all that brutal either. Soccer kicks could be. Soccer kicks could... There could be a highlight of a soccer kick that might make you feel a little bad for some guys. You get kicked right in the mouth and split that lip

from nose to fucking frenulum or whatever that's called, you're not going to feel so good about it anymore, especially if it's some guy you like, and you're like, oh, he was good looking too. You'd feel really bad about that, I guess. But it's fucking ultimate fighting championship, right? So get it in there. Let's do it.

A change I've been wanting for a long time that happened was more 10-8 rounds. For people who don't know, the winning fighter gets 10 points. The losing fighter of the round usually gets 9, unless it's really really really lopsided and then he gets eight it had to be so lopsided that there was almost no being there i'm just echoing one ten eight every you know you had to go in there and completely dominate the guy you

you go in take him down rough him up maybe the ref standing up but then you could you fuck him up some more you yeah almost end it flash knock out the guy right you have to dominate him like you can't even be so the impact of that would be that like let's say kyle and i are fighting and the first one i really give him the business i win 10-9 the next two he's doing a little better than me he gets 10-9 twice he wins the whole fight even though maybe the you know cumulatively like that didn't it just seemed like there were these point fighters and it was ruining it so uh um it's nice now that there's more 10-8s like that that scenario outline would be a tie i'd be up by two points after the first then he'd win the next two rounds and i'd poke you in the eye they just they oh then i'd

win i thought this is the usc you're out I was about, and I'd be disqualified. I'm like, wait, when has that ever happened? You've got to reach in, get the eye, and ah! You've got to pluck it out like Kill Bill style before they even take a point. That I don't like. That I really don't. Did you see Mario Yamasaki, I think is his name? The slow stoppage.

Yeah, did you see him? Like, very cool. I like that when people own up to their mistakes. So fast forward for everyone else in the last fight, there was a slow stoppage, um, doing the black beast, whatever his name is,

was just destroying that guy. He got a couple extra licks in. What is a slow stoppage? Oh, they called the fight done. And then the guy kept hitting him. Yeah. Well,

no. So the guy kept hitting him and you're supposed to keep hitting him until the ref gets in there. And the ref was slow to get in there so the losing fighter took maybe two three punches that he probably shouldn't have had to take the ref should have stopped it quicker and the fighter delivering those blows in his post in his post uh fight press conference he was like yeah i really appreciate mario letting me get those extra two shots in because i don't like that fucking guy he put hands on women I keep it real that's literally what he said he's like so Travis Brown before

he dated Ronda Rousey who he dates now dated this really beautiful woman and apparently beat her up now um she was kind of scorned a woman scorn, in that I think he was cheating on her with Rhonda at the time she claimed to be beaten. And it was investigated and there was no evidence to prove that he beat her, except for the photos of all her bruises. But, you know. Yeah, you can never really know. Right. Like, you go to jujitsu and get the same bruises. I'm covered in bruises all the time.

In a photo, I can't tell bruises from eyeshadow. You know, like, we used to do that when we'd babysit people. We'd fuck up their black eyes. Oh, that's funny. And so, yeah, anyway, so I don't know what happened. I know that the guy was found. Like, they didn't bring a case forward. But he was at least accused of beating his seemingly very nice girlfriend.

Did you hear his little Ronda Rousey remark when he's, like, in the cage? What did he say? He was going to slap that ass or something? He said, now where's Ronda Rousey's fine ass at? Because he just beat that guy up. And he's like, so now to the victor go the spoils. Now I'm like, where's she at? She's fine now.

Like, I don't care for that guy that much. that that both of those little things he said were funny yeah I like them too all right another question I noticed they called him the self-proclaimed black beast as he's walking out the announcer doesn't want to be like and here he is the black beast because he's the self-proclaimed black beast is coming out everyone he likes that he'll he's got to change his nickname if the announcer has to say as he likes to be referred because that takes away all the punch of a nickname in the ring like like when when buffett is out there buffert is out there he's like the black beast like he just says it but like the the guy on the telecast is as they're watching him walk out or like hit mitts in the back before the guy on the telecast is as they're watching him walk out or

like hit mitts in the back before the fight actually happens he's like uh yeah the the self-proclaimed black beast oh man that would be hilarious if some black guy decided to troll the ufc and made it so that the only name they would come out to was like super racist like and so then they would force them to have to say it. I would change my name into something that I could sell. Like, you know, Woody Quiznos Woodworth! And then I'd get paid.

Kyle the Kite Who Strikes Myers! Every time they said it, they're just like, oh god, he's ruining us! And then Sir Logan would have to be like, absolutely incredible. The Jew's getting his ass beat right now. That's what he wants me to refer to him as.

He says, I will be upset and sue you if you don't refer to me as, quote, the Jew. He is not doing well in this fight. And fun fact, he's not Jewish. This fighter, he seems to be Irish and a little German got a lick of Jewish in this man I don't know maybe I still haven't sent off my DNA test

I've got the whole thing I've got it can we watch a one minute video you know what we're all human so my anus yeah did you see taylor got it um this guy's name is my anus m-a-i-n-u-s versus chavez you queued up at zero ready set play AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA We are ready to rock and roll, second round of action, there is a cut on my anus. There's a cut on my anus.... shoots in early, my anus defends it.

My anus is in a bit of pain here. If you watch one, I'll watch the other one. I'll watch my anus. I'll watch that one. My anus taking a thumb, and Skade and the ringside physician... My anus taking a thumb. ... have just walked in there to look at my anus. My anus trying to...

Fuck my anus! ... put a clinch. Put the clinch. ... say, stay busy, Danny, slap the arm in his anus. Slap the to put the clinch. Put the clinch. Stay busy, Danny. Slip the arm in his anus. Slip his arm in his anus. Manus could be in trouble. Manus just stuck here.

And he pops the head out. Manus is bleeding. Oh, Manus is bleeding. My anus is bleeding. Manus just bleeding all over. Gotta go to work on me. Cut bleeding! Manus just bleeding all over the place! You gotta work on me! Catch! On the anus!

That's a really fun video. That's really fun. Surely he knew. I think so. That was fucking hilarious. My favorite is Manus is bloody. Yeah, my anus is bleeding.

There's a cut on my anus. Manus in the clits now. That was a lot of good stuff. That was funny as fuck. Oh, man. I've seen that before in horse racing because they're always yelling out their names and the particular positions that they're in. Sometimes that falls into

some funny shit. That was hilarious, though. Oh, that was funny. And that seven, I listened to like 20 seconds of that song by the Rainbow Kittens. Better than I thought. Very relaxing. I got no problem with the band at all. Yeah.

Maybe that cheap ticket looked good. Ooh, I like that one. if you could have one exotic pet non-human what would it be what would it be um man there's so many cool like exotic pets out there and i'm gonna let taylor take the monkeys uh but i've always had my eye on a raccoon because they're very intelligent they have those people hands i find it incredibly heartwarming when i watch them wash their food and then because they like wash their food because they're like you know river critters and they're always by the water they wash it off with their hands and then they take it and take nibbles and there's that video or gif maybe that i've seen on reddit where they give one cotton candy and when he tries to wash the cotton candy

it just dissolves he's just baffled over the racves. It disappears, and he's just baffled. It comes over the raccoon's face. He's not baffled. He's sad and a little upset. He's like, oh, my cotton candy. That was the most delicious thing I've ever touched in my goddamn life, and it, what the fuck? How am I supposed to go back to berries?

You know? I watched that. I felt so bad, and then, like, I watched some, like some I did a little research and found out a little more and then there's more of the video and they give him some more cotton candy and he's like oh thank you so much don't wash it this time but yeah I was going with raccoon okay good choice

I'm obviously going with a capuchin monkey I think I didn't know what kind of monkey organ grinder monkey yes I don't want a lemur. I don't want something that's, you know, going to be having an enormous tail that's prehensile and swinging around on things. What about a sloth? A sloth is, I feel like I would almost get upset with it because it wouldn't be able to do anything.

Like with a monkey, at least I could train it to do a few tricks. Like I could be like, hey, you know, go long, buddy, and throw him a little Nerf football or something, and he'd catch it, and then he would throw it back poorly, of course, because he's a monkey, and catch it, and that'd be a fun thing. With a sloth, you couldn't do that. Sloth, I don't feel like there are many games you can play other than look at this goddamn sloth. Look at that. When we want to look at it over there, I'll have to carry it

unless you want to wait until Tuesday. It's fun. I'm assuming when i make this choice that i'll be able to train it and we'll bond i want some kind of bird of prey it could be an eagle it could be a falcon it could be like a i don't know some turkey vulture or something you want a peregrine falcon we could go flying together he could like just get shit he could take care of other birds and the is there a goose in it you know what fuck that goose up make an example out of him for all the other geese in the area i think

it would be neat to have a badass bird as an exotic pet so like what kind of line buddies i'll say uh oh no listen i'm listening mistake the bald eagle eats mostly dead animals it's not really much of a predator at all. What you want is the peregrine falcon. Isn't it small though? They are small. They travel at 240 miles an hour or something like that.

Like they're outrageously fast. But I travel at like 30. He's gotta be able to be comfortable like soaring with me. He doesn't like all the time 240 like like he bring it to you i feel like i would bore him i i think i want like maybe an albatross don't they have really long arms like wings it'd be ironic if you bought an albatross and it was a horrible purchase purchase maybe an owl be a good one but they're not cross has a 14-foot wingspan

doesn't it am I making this up can mixing it up with a different bird sounds like a dinosaur that's like more 14-footpan? I don't think that's alive. Yeah. I saw that in a museum. It says 11-foot. It's as long as in a museum. 11-foot wingspan on the high end for an albatross. 11-foot bird would be really cool. I'd be up there in my paramotor, and he'd be my flying buddy, and we'd go around.

He'd get sucked in. I feel like they're tangled in the ropes. If I got in a bad mood, it could really fuck you up, right? I don't think so. I think I could kick any bird's ass. False. Have you... Emus and ostriches are so scary, dude.

I stand corrected. I think you're right. They might beat me up. I don't know. They got these claws, these hooks. They're a lot like velociraptors. If you've ever seen an ostrich up close... I think I could beat any flying bird.

Ah, yeah. I really feel like I could grab them by the feet. Even if they hurt my hand or something, you just smash them on the ground. They have those hollow bones. Yeah. If you just hold them, you could crush it with your hand, I think, and you'd just feel snap, snap, snap, snap. It'd be like, what's that? Henrietta?

No. It would be like breaking up a glow stick. Actually, let's take a minute here and think about how much trouble Woody had with the chicken. All right, so maybe if a falcon swoops down, yeah! You know, and he's swinging at it with that machete, like, maybe it gets his eyes. Maybe that's game over. I say that, like, even a swan can fuck you up. Like, a swan apparently can, like, swing its swing its wing hard enough to like break your arm or something.

I don't know if that's true. I really doubt that. Maybe it can break a child's arm, perhaps drown it. Yeah, I don't believe that. But have you seen those geese that fuck with like businessmen and like people walking down the street? I wouldn't tolerate a fucking second of that from a goose. Listen to me, honker. tolerate a fucking second of that from a goose listen to me honker like i'm talking around here you come honking at me doing that with the wings all puffed out like you're i'm gonna kick you so

fucking hard feathers are gonna fly like i shot a pillow with a 12 gauge like you're done and i see i saw a guy grab one by the neck one time and he was like hey stop this and like threw it i would take that neck and fucking pull the head and then i would and i would grip hard enough that the blood wouldn't leave your brain and i'd look at your still living head that i'd taken off and be like this is what you get i hate those fucking looking back at you just being like i'm a bird yeah it's what i do i don't know anybody you know i hate geese but like i guarantee kyle if you're out in the middle of a walmart parking lot and you're pushing that cart to your car you're just out there and there's you know you're parked really far back there's 10 geese back there if four of those geese start

charging at you on the ground you are going to be panicked because i would be panicked because i wouldn't know what to do how to engage in avian flight or avian all right so i admit that in a walmart parking lot i would not attack a federally protected species which i think some of those canadian geese maybe are i don't know definitely if they're out of season you can't i know they there's like a goose season so you definitely kill them if you got a license self-defense is usually allowed i think if you stomp out for geese at walmart the police might have something to say about that and certainly the game enforcement agent which are just all around our little area would but but if we're if we're on my turf i don't care

how many geese there are like maybe that's a question like how many 10 year olds can you take how many geese could you fight i could take dozens of geese so bad dozens of geese you'd be dead dozens no realistically all right there are deer that come on my property all the time they So bad. Dozens of geese. You'd be dead. Dozens. No. Realistically. There are deer that come on my property all the time. They eat the grass or do whatever. If I wanted to eat one, what would be the... There's no game wardens in my yard.

How would they fuck with me? If I just shot it... What are you describing doing like describe to me what you would do and okay um i observe a goose in my front yard and i shoot it and then i ask somebody for help on turning it into food i don't know about geese because that's because i don't know what deer was the thing. Oh, and we're not in season? Are you talking about shooting out of season?

Or are you talking about how to get meat from a deer you might kill? If you do it out of season and you ask someone, they're probably going to rat you out, and you're going to pay a hefty fine, lose your rifle that you use in the commission. If you were in or near a vehicle, you'll lose that too. Probably not going to do any jail time because you could afford a lawyer. It's going to be a lot of trouble. If you shot a falcon in your yard with a shotgun, same thing. They're going to take your gun. They're going to fine you heavily.

If you shoot a deer, though, it's pretty serious. It's poaching. It's wildlife and game enforcement or whatever. They have a different rule book than the police do. What if it's in season, how does that change things? Because I'm already convinced out of season is a terrible idea. Oh, yeah.

You still have to hunt in a legal area. You couldn't shoot in your yard, I would think. As far as the legality of shooting in your yard, I don't quite know that because I don't know your precise area. It depends on the distance from the road. Like, you'd have to really start measuring, and if someone said something, there might be a thing. It's a distance from other people,

and it needs to be like 100 yards or 300 yards. I forget which. It was distance from a road as well, like any road. I looked up the law. Unless it's different for the animal thing. I just looked up because I was thinking about putting a shooting range. It is different for the animal thing. Oh, okay.

But even, I don't know. I'd have to double check. There's probably a certain area on your property which it would all be good, but there are definitely margins around that where it's not good. And they have some, what do you really want to do if you actually wanted to hunt? I'm not sure what we're getting at here. I just wondered if, like, is that $2 worth of food walking in my yard? Maybe I'll do that.

Okay. Yeah, it kind of is. It costs a little bit of money to get a deer processed, and that $2 for the food walking in my yard? Maybe I'll do that. Okay. Yeah, it kind of is. It costs a little bit of money to get a deer processed, and that's the term. Like, if you want to find someone who does that for you, just Google deer processing and then your locality, and you'll find it. I haven't done one in a long time, but I think it's like $150 to, like, get the whole thing done maybe and, like, get all the meat. I just haven't done it since I was a kid. These days I get deer meat from other people who have more than they want. So I'm not quite sure. Because there's deer around. I sometimes I wonder like, oh, is that free food? I've never even

eaten venison. I've heard that it's only good if you prepare it just right. I've heard. Part of it. Here's what I believe. Here's my own personal belief as far as venison tasting gamey because I've never experienced that. the deer that I shot all die instantly because of the way I shoot them in the caliber that I use I would they would always drop and they just be fucking dead there wouldn't be quite there wouldn't be very much blood even because his heart wasn't pumping for very long after I shot him he's just dead some but but I I see in like depicting in movies and then I hear people describe to me their hunts of deers running away and them having to track it with a blood

trail and I think that the adrenaline dump makes the meat taste like shit. I've heard that. I've read that. I didn't know how true that was but I've heard. Yeah. I've never noticed some taste in two gamey. I like venison. Yeah. It's okay. It's not as good as beef.

Just keep that in mind. It's not as good as beef. Just keep that in mind. It's not as good as beef. There's a reason we chose cows. Well, they're easy to hurt. It's different than chicken because it's red meat. It's closer to... It's very different.

When you're eating it, you're not like, wow, I'll order this next time. You're just like, oh, okay, here's another thing. You ever had elk? Yeah. Tastes a lot like elk. We had elk on that last trip. I've had buffalo.

Yeah. I've had buffalo too, yeah. Ted Turner, who of course owns, I don't know how many buffalo, but it's an enormous amount. He owns probably more buffalo than anyone on the planet because he's got all that land out west. He has a restaurant in Atlanta called, I don't know,

probably Ted Turner's Restaurant, and they serve buffalo. So I've had buffalo a few times there. Yeah, there was a restaurant not far from work that served buffalo. You could get buffalo burgers and steak or something. It tasted like hamburger to me. Exactly, yeah. That's how most exotic meats are i think most of the time whenever you get that stuff it's more about the experience or saying you've done it than

anything because we had those elk steaks in colorado and i was like i feel like we're really overpaying i talked about this before but i had an alligator and i didn't expect it to be fish but that's pretty much what it was. We ordered alligator as well. It came in little bits that were fried, tossed, and dipped or something. What a fucking ripoff that restaurant is. Oldest restaurant in Colorado. Don't go. Or Denver.

Don't go there. I'll never go there again. Nope. That was a mistake. It was good to go. We got to see all those dead animals on the wall. That was interesting. For like three minutes.

Yeah. We're only there for an hour and a half. I mean. It was really the face that the waitress made when I made routine requests. We'd like to order our food now. Could I have a drink? You know, just the little things that she was unpleased by. But anyway.

I get my waitresses trained at this point. I walk into that Thai restaurant, which I still go to in spite of the human trafficking laws. You can never talk shit on Chick-fil-A again. This is way worse. I walk in, I say one, and I seat myself. There's a table that has extra cushy seats that I prefer. It's like eating in a living room. And she says the usual, and I say, yeah. And I have her trained.

Like, she wasn't bringing out the spring rolls first for some reason. So I'd be like eating my meal, and the appetizer comes in the middle of it. Got that worked out. They were serving, serving like large vegetables the peppers are this long with no knife no knife and i'm like you know just working with the fork on the edge of it trying to make a knife out of it now i'm the only person that gets it but i get a knife with my meal because it clearly it needs it and uh and i don't know how How much Thai food are you eating? I used to go every like two or three weeks. But what it is is.

Well, that's nothing then. Because I frequent places that are much less healthy much more often. Now I'm going weekly. Because about weekly I am with my mother-in-law here. I take Colin to parkour more. And it just works out. I drop him off at noon. I get lunch.

And then he's almost done. That's how long it takes. Cool. Yeah, I like Thai food a lot. That's one of my favorite things is Thai food. I'm a big fan. Yeah. I like spicy food in general.

I like all Asian food, really. Some penang curry, some fried rice, some of that coconut soup. Yeah, I like that. I don't get that much because it's fatty. So fatty. This is the best Thai restaurant I've been to. It looks like nothing, but it tastes great.

And I've been to a couple and they just never I don't know, whatever it is. I've only been to one good one ever. I only know of one good one. It's in fucking Atlanta. It's an hour and 40 minutes from my house right now. I'll probably never go there again. It's so far away. But it's real good.

That's how I used to feel about this one. Then I moved there. Yeah, that's awesome. I like Thai food a lot. I'm a big fan. Well, is there more stuff we want to cover here? Do we have any outro ads nope well i guess that all those bases are covered painkiller already episode 323 i hope you guys enjoyed it yeah