Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #324

Episode Date: March 10, 2017

This week on PKA, King of all things YouTube Drama, Scarce joins us and shares stories about doing cocaine and heroin in high school, getting handies and what's the deal with transgender wrestlers in schools?!

That was perfect you nailed it yeah Pink killer already episode 324 with our guest scarce Kyle Hey, we have a few ads tonight Me undies coming back Harmon quest lift creature quest and a brand new one legacy box We'll talk about talk more about each of those later on the show there of course links in the description down below you can check Them out right now if you want to but yeah, I got a guest scarce the uh the youtube drama king is from this is what i've heard lately yes yeah hey what's up guys it's very very nice to have you this uh this this wonderful evening it was cool we talked a little bit before the show it's cool to know you've

listened to the show a little bit so you know how things go around yeah big fan big fan this is probably the only thing i've watched on youtube like consecutively because for some reason channels kind of fade in and out i don't really really watch them for maybe a year at a time, but this I've watched for maybe four years straight. Every single one. Every time I edit my videos, this is always in the background. I don't know why. It's just always interesting. Yeah, we're persistent.

All YouTube channels are like TV shows, but on fast forward, right? They have their bell curve of excitement, and then they wear out, but this show is SNL. It lasts forever. I know, right? You guys have been pulling like 150,000 views consecutively for years now, dude. have their bell curve of excitement and then they wear out but this show is snl it lasts forever i know right you guys have been pulling like 150 000 views consecutive years now dude yeah um it's good to know you're familiar though because sometimes with people who aren't familiar we go zero to 60 too quick to just wildly inappropriate talking about death to all Jews and stuff like Kyle does

yeah i don't remember well there was one time we had a guest, and he had been on the show for like 15 minutes, and it was like Chris Hansen or something, and Taylor immediately says something about faggots! And he really enunciates the word faggot, and there was this like three-second pause where the guest was like, did he just say faggot?

I think I remember that. Yeah, it was. And it was like, oh, this isn't CBS, you know? Yeah, I mean, you guys can say anything. Did one of the casters just say facts? I remember we had Chris Hansen on the show. And, you know, I'm like, you know, well, we all got a little child porn, right? You know, like, we've all been 4chan now and then.

Yeah. He tells Chris Hansen, he's like, hey, we've all been there, right? You're scrolling through some links, clicking around the dark web dark web if you will and you find a little child pornography am i right guys right it was like suddenly i have no friends no it was like that wings of redemption who'd fuck jackie left except he had done it in front of like the child porn police so we were all like no we don't even know what that is no No, no porn. I wouldn't even pretend. Obviously not with this guest on, you know, but that's the thing is like you hear that and then you're like,

oh, I would laugh at that any other time. But because it's this guy, it's almost like you're putting on the lowest of low tier airs of like, ah, you know, I'm not going to like put my pinky up when I'm drinking. I'm just going to not curse every sixth word. Like I'll make it like every 11th. Or admit to felonies. Dude, I want to talk about

the show entertaining is like you guys just don't give a fuck you guys just talk about anything it's like that's what's entertaining to me like i hate people that kind of just censor themselves and stuff i have to do a lot with my videos because everyone's like everyone gets super triggered over really anything you say nowadays but you guys don't care i think you always stay i think if you stay in that space then people will understand understand that you're not picking one little group to be a douchebag to. You're just kind of touching that funny bone that gets triggered every time someone's a little bit outrageous about this group

or that group or any group and just kind of making a mockery out of the whole sensitivity thing anyway. Most of the time, you can tell when someone's... I want to direct us to here. Dude, the Shay Carl thing. Are you up to date on that, Scarce? I don't know anything about it. I know he made vlogs in like 2010.

Yeah, dude. That stuff is really creepy. For people who make like six hours of content a week, these guys know nothing about YouTube. Like the PewDiePie drama, the Shay Carl drama. They just don't pay attention to the slightest like they have no like that nothing I can understand I think sometimes YouTube

drama seems fucking petty and I completely agree like a lot of the stuff like so I'll be the first to admit it lay it out oh yeah so Shay do a tie line sort of yeah yeah so so Shay Carl you guys know he's like a family man right he's yeah it's like this nice little family he's rich as fuck.

This dude has, I think, half a billion or something. He had a big weight loss success. Yeah, he's skinny now. Oh, yeah, yeah. So I guess there's a lot of stuff that are going good for him, but recently he kind of fucked up. Recently there was DMs that were leaked between this one cam girl and him, and he was saying some pretty disgusting things to this girl.

He was talking about wanting to suck on her tits and stuff, and it was just like, you know, it doesn't really bother me. Oh, wait, because he's married. Yeah, he has a fucking family. I was like, what did he say? He's married. What is it that you can't pry? He did say some pretty disgusting stuff.

Dude, this stuff was great. It was like, I want to lick you from the small of your back to your belly button. Oh, yeah. And it's like, there's some good shit in there. That's a very interesting line. That's the scenic route. And it was with real specifics about how he wanted to fuck her where he wanted to lick her what he wanted to do to her it was just full-on dirty talk with someone who is not was there

reciprocation because you can't really tell him these until you see the chat because if you describe it as he was saying all this gross stuff and then you see the chat and it's like back and forth it's like okay i can feel it it was just that she literally had pages of him yeah he literally had like essays of this stuff like and she didn't respond at all like he just kept sending her stuff all night long i might be joking like this girl and me were in a call for a while talking about because i'm trying to get the story from her and she she's just like she just thought he was drunk and he definitely was i mean he said that afterwards he was just like hammered i guess when he was saying this there but um yeah he just sent her all this shit when he was drunk and then i guess he woke up and he fucking regretted the fuck out of it but dude apparently he's been like drinking again he's been

like i don't know he's been doing some really bad stuff he made like this whole post about how his life has kind of been in shambles recently and he's had to he he had to delete his twitter account and stuff so uh yeah i feel bad for him but i guess he you know his life hasn't been the best wow yeah that started off with a lot of potential to be funny now i feel bad for him oh no we'll get there don't worry just just just keep digging apparently in his life off and on he's had trouble with alcohol um so and he just sort of hit a low spot it's interesting man like on the, things can be going great for someone. Most people,

that's a voice track. Most people, their number one problem is money. That's the thing. Every single day, they spend eight, ten hours a day working on money. That's what they're up to.

And then all the other problems are kind of minor. And when someone doesn't have a money problem like Shay Carl, it's hard to relate to it. Like, man. If I had all the money I needed, all of life would be so easy. and when someone doesn't have a money problem like shay carl it's hard to relate to it like man like if i had all the money i needed all of life would be so easy everything would be easy street like oh if i had that much money man i would just have pure happiness because i spent eight ten

hours a day working on that problem if i didn't have that problem like i'd hardly have any problems yeah like i'm kind of happy like i'm not i'm not happy at all i'm actually pretty sad that like i started making a lot of money so young because it actually ruins all the fun out of it like when someone like when there's a sponsorship deal for a ton of money for me it's like i don't even want to take it anymore because there's there's no point it's like i already have what i want right now it's like i'm kind of comfortable and and now it's like when i see huge numbers they're not as as surprising to me as they were when i first started youtube and i was so interested like i was so happy about that first you know thousand dollar check from youtube now it's like oh you know we're gonna pay you 50

grand it's like whatever it's not that big a deal and it kind of sucks because it ruins it all like i remember when i worked at cisco i'd work like overtime for like six months in a row or something and then they'd give me a bonus of like fifteen hundred dollars two grand and it'd be like oh sweet you know like it's an extra two thousand it's after tax that's the way Cisco did their bonuses and you know so you have a check for an actual two thousand dollars and then like things go real well for you on YouTube and such and it's like here's a check for five thousand dollars but oh fuck do I really want to drive to the bank for four digits like what a pain in the ass this is right yeah exactly yeah four digits my god these are problems I wish I had this is like this is like the uh you know you know that pyramid of needs like Maslow's pyramid

of needs where it's like first you got to take care of uh like your your physical needs like food and water and shit and then you gotta be worried about, like, safety, and then up at the very top, it's like self-actualization, where it's like people being douchebags, like, meditating all day, convincing themselves of doing something, or maybe they aren't, who fucking knows, that's just like the peak of, like, I don't have any real problems, so I'm contriving them, I'm making them up yeah exactly it seems like yeah if you make a ton of money young you get real quick real high up on that pyramid list to where you're like oh this amount of money they're giving me you're not thinking of it in terms of this is how many months rent in that shit apartment i had i used to live in like wow this is huge or this is how much this would pay on my car insurance and that was really a big deal and i was struggling it's more just like well throw it on the pile you know that's why you don't hear like in third world countries you don't hear about anorexia being a big epidemic like like i had an immediate family member with anorexia and it was like you just could not get her to eat and it's like you think about like the whole time i was thinking like what if she lived in africa this would not be a problem

at all like she would be wanting to eat she fit right in yeah exactly like she was a skeleton i'm like like if she was in africa like she would be wanting to eat really badly but it's because she's in like a first world country and she has all these you know she has everything at her fingertips uh she just doesn't want to it's almost like knowing the option is there exactly a way to keep it going where it's like if everything did go to shit right now and they're like you need to start eating or you'll die you know there's a big mac three feet away like with someone trying to champ down your throat but you know it is interesting how those disorders span across the world well that's about jake carl you that's uh that that's pretty interesting so so i want to

know more about the specifics though like like this cat where was the cam girl from like what site is it like my free cams like is that what she does uh i could probably check right now is she a twitter i mean is she like a twitch game like what level of cam girl it's one of those like cam girl sites she's on like one of those like i don't know i'm not gonna say them uh but like it's like what's your i don't watch cam girls i don't think any of that stuff's interesting i just watch just straight up porn i don't actually even follow any porn stars just look at the thumbnail and just click on it you know what i mean like the f a big Faye Reagan fan myself.

Yeah, I've never understood the following of an individual person either. Exactly. Part of the exploration here is that it's just something new every time, where it's just like there's so much stimulation, I don't even know what to do. I guess that's the whole internet. Here's what happened to me. I used to agree with you, but Reddit has this way of letting the cream rise to the top, right? And time and time again, you start to see familiar faces.

You start to see that there are a few porn stars who are just the best of the best. They're going to – Alexis Texas, Faye Reagan. Like, these porn stars are really going to rise to the top, and they're going to appear on lots of these aggregated subreddits. And even within them, they're going to rise to the top. So I didn't used to have any favorite porn stars but I just do now because I just see so much Remy LeCraw, Faye Reagan and the like

on Reddit. Always finding the best of the best. Don't you just feel like this is kind of mulching over the same place over and over? What it is for me is it's usually a porn star that's really really hot like i've said this before that like oh like this girl is beautiful but you know i walk through unc's campus and i see 12 of them every so often there's a porn star where it's like oh my

god like that's whatever my particular version of like you don't see this very often But only if you let yourself fall into that trap because go down to the fucking like stream settings Crank that fucker up to 1080 and then tell me because then you're like oh my god. Yeah, that's a human being That's person. That's no see that's when you do see the difference you fucking crank that shit up to 4k You go to naughty America and you find the bitches that look good in 4K. Those are just – those are another – there's human beings and then there's those girls. They're just a level of perfection that you don't normally see. Dude.

I mean maybe it's just you guys. I don't – this is probably going to get me in trouble. Probably not. We were touring college housing last weekend, right? So Hope and I are walking around and there's like a tour guide who like shows you the model rooms and whatever. And we went down to the fitness center

and there's a couple of guys working out or whatever. But then there's this girl on the, she's like a standing elliptical machine or something. And she's working out hard and she's an 11. and she's an 11 like she's just ridiculous hot and she's wearing like i guess not panties but like boy shorts almost like just one step away from panties and a bra and she's working out on this thing and there's like long strides right like there's like 14 of us in this tour group you know like a bunch

of parents and incoming freshmen college students yeah and i'm looking around well it's like are we all just gonna pretend there's not a fucking 11 right here like hey kids gather around yeah yeah everyone just like oh yeah here are the free weights here's this this is you know this if you went to the other building, the fitness center would vary in this way. And it's like – If she were to walk into any other room in this entire campus, they'd be like, you need to get out. You need to go redress. Wait, was this sort of an admissions thing? Were these students and parents choosing whether they're going to go to UNC? This was for people who've been accepted to UNC oh I was going to say because otherwise maybe she's a plant

like maybe after that group leaves the room a 45 year old white guy walks up and peels off 300 and hands it to her and he's like thank you so much Therese admissions are up 800% everybody's I hardly have words for it

that's why I like all these new up and coming female YouTubers that are super hot and they just get everybody's i hardly have words for it that's why i like that's why i like all these uh these like new up-and-coming female youtubers that are like super hot and they just get like big just because they have huge tits and a big ass it's just like it's so great because every time you go to a youtuber party now there's like all these hot chicks that are like way over like tens like they're some of the hottest like i never saw those those girls in my high school or my college they're like so fucking hot and they're all in like these youtuber parties now they're just like normal people at these youtuber parties like no one even talks shit on them like no one's even angry with them for getting big off if it was

twitch they talk shit if it was twitch like they would they would just talk about her constantly oh the only reason she's popular is this and that dude no one cares now like all these youtubers are just like i i uh spent the weekend like a couple weeks ago in la with like a bunch of these uh female youtubers and these girls all like easily tens and stuff and it's just like just seeing the amount of attention that girls get actually it really ruins your confidence like after that weekend i hated my life because like literally like every single person that came up to them was just complimenting them constantly just throwing compliments and i'm like god damn like i wish i was a hot chick like literally no matter what but i know that the underlying factor is that everyone wants to fuck them so i understand that it's like okay well it

does kind of suck because in reality the reason why they're getting these compliments is because they're hot you know people yeah but if you're like with them somewhere and like you're talking and then that you walk over and you say hi to someone else it's almost interesting to get a you know through the looking glass peak yeah exactly how friendly the world is if you're that everyone when i walk up to someone if i walk up to someone in a party anywhere they're never like even if it's an old friend from like grad school they're never like oh my god tay Ah! This is my best friend! And, like, just doing stuff like that. But, like, some hot chick, and they'll

be like, oh, my God, I haven't seen you for six, seven minutes? Like, my God. Dude, I know. And it really ruins your confidence, because I was, I stayed with them, like, for the whole weekend, and just that whole time just sucked, because Oh, we lost his audio for a second did you guys lose his audio too can you guys hear me oh yeah okay um yeah so like i went to one of these like youtuber events with

like a bunch of fans and stuff and like this girl had like one third of my subscribers but everyone wanted to get pictures with her and i realized no one wanted to get autographs from her they all wanted to get autographs from like me and stuff, but they just wanted to get pictures of there. Like it was so funny, but there was more people that went up to her than me. And it's like, I just, I was so intrigued.

Like, cause she had way less subscribers than me, but it's like people just fucking love hot chicks. So I did this and it was worse because they were guys. So I went to this thing in New York, long time listeners have heard parts of this, but, um,

the other people who went on stage to this thing, it was called like Digitor or something, they were all like aspiring Justin Biebers. And if you've never been around like a young pop star, it's easy to underestimate just how well put together they are. Like their extra long sideburns are just so perfectly done. Every hair is dyed and put in place just as it should be. I saw them back in the green room.

Like there was a hallway to the green room. And it was narrow, like the hallway. And they're climbing around and shit like Spider-Man. I can't do that. And I'm dressed like someone ready to mow the yard. And they go on stage. And thousands of girls just start screaming like shrill like like ridiculous stuff and it's just like man like well i'll never have that you know

i had a completely different experience with those kids like really there's this one kid i don't actually i don't think i want to say his name i don't start any drama but uh we went to vegas two months ago and like we went to this one penthouse party from this one kid he's like friends with cameron dallas like he's one of those guys all right and that like you know kind of teen teen pop star kind of thing like you know jacob sartorius cameron dallas and stuff and um and dude all like he was so awkward in front of all the girls like he didn't know how to talk to them he was just constantly on his phone and stuff and it was just like i was the only one talking to all these like there were so many hot chicks they brought there and it was like none of them even knew how to talk to them it was actually really awkward and it was probably one of the worst

parties i've ever been to like he had this really nice penthouse parties i've ever been to like bodyguards to help them get through the sea of women who would like grab at their clothes and stuff and it was just like I don't really need that. I'm able to walk freely amongst these 13-year-olds. Yeah, just put me in front. That'll drive them back. Back! Back! I've got a Woody! I need to have my security go in

as a hidden flanking maneuver behind the girls and push them into me. Because they'd be like, I don't know who this guy is. He can't sing. He's 20 years older into me. I don't know who this guy is. He can't sing. He's 20 years old. I feel like you can take that for granted as well. If you just had girls coming up to you everywhere,

if you're a Cameron Dells figure, you start taking that for granted and you just wouldn't give a shit anymore. If that happens to you, I'll be freaking out. You were saying people they people giving twitch streamers shit like oh people are you're only doing this because you're hot if you were ugly nobody would care and you wouldn't be able to do this like i the only reason to like really hate that or dislike it is just because you're jelly you know like it's just someone playing the hand

they're dealt it's yeah it's a good reason to dislike things. It's a solid reason. I dislike lots of people who I'm jealous of. It's very natural. But it's like being like, God, you know what? If Shaq was 6'1 instead of 7'1, he never would have played in the NBA. It's like, yeah, no shit. Because that guy at 6'1 wouldn't be the powerhouse.

He was at 7'1. He'd be, hey, this slow kind of tubby guy really isn't putting up the shots we need him to. No. Get out of here. Be a plumber. But you just gotta play the hand you're dealt. Yeah, and honestly, I think that if you're an ugly chick, it's more because you focus

more on maybe school or something else. Because I feel like most girls, with enough makeup and enough plastic surgery, you could just... All these YouTuber girls all have plastic surgery they're all talking about oh yeah i just got my butt done last week and like they're all talking about how and i'm just like god damn like and they show me oh this is a good part we're losing audio on yeah what are they showing you right let's make it we need to know what i want to say they

drop their little boy shorts and And where are the pictures? I bet he has pictures. Or video. That'll be something I'm sure he'll send us after the show. An old film reel. Ah, here come the links now. Wow. Hundreds of them.

All right, you guys probably hear me, but it's probably shit audio, right? That's better. I hear you. Is it shit audio? Okay. Yeah, it is shit audio, I think. What are you is it shit audio okay yeah it is shit audio i think it is what are you doing a webcam mic or something i'm using a fucking blue snowball right now i don't use a blue snowball i used that when i was like doing fucking modern warfare 2 commentaries but

like um you know my i have a norman tlm uh 103 but it's in the other room because it's in my studio where i'd like make videos and stuff uh so i don't want to take it and put it in here i don't want to get into my coffee because that that pissed me off whenever you guys did my talk how much was it that norman tml uh neumann neumann tl tlm 103 uh it's one of the ones that pewdiepie used to use it's like a it's like 1.1k i think uh market value yeah um but uh i forgot what i was going to say. Oh, they're getting their butts done, and they were showing you something. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so they're just talking about, like, they started showing me pictures of them before they had all this plastic surgery, like, only two years ago.

And they literally look like completely different people. Like, you couldn't show – if you showed me a picture of them and you showed me them, I'd be like, that's not you. Like, that's your ugly sister or something like that. know what i mean like honestly it's crazy how much you can change i swear i'm not even thinking about just saying i'm pretty fat and like i've been thinking about getting lipo or something because dude like it's they all told me they all got lipo like all these girls were like a ton of weight beforehand and they all just got lipo and they're all super skinny now and i'm like you could do what bruce buffard did we got it we got it real quick we got it we got to talk scarce off this ledge of life of i make so much money i don't even need it and i'm a young guy and i'm

just gonna fucking get lipo because you know i want to keep eating whatever i want yeah i know well when you when you like when you're sleeping in like the same bed with a bunch of girls for a weekend that all have plastic surgery, you start kind of wanting it, dude. They kind of convinced me to get a nose job. I'm like, shit, you know what? That sounds like a great idea by the end of it. Obviously, now I'm like, wow, I feel like a fucking idiot. I probably was really high when they were saying that or something. Dude, do it and report back.

Let's have you on the show for like episode 520. I just have a nose job, dude. What if they fuck it up, dude? Oh my God. That's the only reason I want to get a nose job because I look like such a fucking idiot coming on my video with a fucked up nose and I just paid like a couple thousand dollars for it, dude.

I would never do that. If you did get lipo, I'd want to have you back on to talk about it because I've only seen the videos of it. It hurts, dude. Apparently it hurts really bad. I assume that after you get it done, there's a lot of soreness like that tube that stick under your skin i always imagine that like maybe a lot more gentle of getting the fat

out trying not to puncture you they are in and out so fast you always think that you can see the tip going right up against the skin almost like it's gonna puncture right yeah and and my friend was telling me she's like oh yeah uh it was a little bit of pain i'm like okay how much pain did you have and how long was it for she's like oh yeah it took about you know eight nine months for the pain to really stop like apparently it was super tender for like nine months where did she get the lipo uh i don't know she i mean she paid top dollar for it apparently that's another i mean i mean on her body or on her stomach like just around her they look good uh yeah she oh yeah she's she's really hot spot and remove that could be different too right like like she might be like you know what both sides of my hips and i've got this little bit of a pooch in my belly

and have that room yeah she i mean she wasn't that fat right right just like a little bit it's just like 5, 10 pounds. I don't know. If I were to go in there, I'd be like, you know what? Just shrink the whole thing down by like 15 years. Dude, that's what I'm telling you. Right now, I'm over 8. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just get rid of all of it, dude. Here's a picture of me as a teenager. Bring that on back. That's a good question. If you could have one plastic surgery done for free, and it's not, you can't say you won't do it. You have to take one. What would it be?

You want those butt implants. That's what I want. So I love the sit. Yeah, I want butt implants. So most of my life I spent sitting anyway, I figured, let's just add a cushion to this model, right? I feel like sitting would be much more enjoyable. No, dude, it's going to be tender for a while, I feel like.

I feel like it would hurt. Yeah, imagine getting a butt implant, dude. Like, afterwards, the recovery would be the worst ever. Because you're not going to be able to sit. You're going to have to stand everywhere. Have you seen those videos of these girls going through those recoveries where they have to sit on, like, a fucking, like, roll? A donut?

Yeah, or something like that. I don't know, but they have to sit on something, like, special. And it's like, when you're in public, it's like you can't sit down without having that under your butt. So you're gonna have to, if you go on a bus or something, you're gonna have to put that under your butt. You'll look like a fucking weirdo, dude. What about chis? You know, I've seen

videos. Let's keep doing the round table on the light bulb. Cheeks, have you seen those when they get accidentally flipped and it almost becomes angular on the outside of the skin? Like when the whole implant, like the rounded part, flips to accidentally flipped and it like almost becomes angular on the outside of the skin like when the whole implant like the rounded part. Oh, yeah side and it's like an Yeah, that's I wouldn't want that Taylor. What surgery would you get? Oh? Man, well my nose is perfect. So I couldn't do that. Maybe like a skull in small mint

in smallment. That's not a thing. They snap your skull, make it a little tighter. A skull thing? Is that what they do? Yeah. They would have to make it longer, though.

They can't just make it go away, so they've got to squeeze it from the sides and make it longer. They would do selective deboning. Done a lot of research. That's right. Just take a strip across your whole head. Squeeze it in. I've done a lot of research. That's right.

Just take a strip across your whole head. Just like those sides. There's a lot of extra material here in the middle. Your eyes are right next to each other. Only I have one eyebrow. Scaris, you go next. What would you get? Oh, yeah.

So, well, I have a pretty bad deviated septum on my nose. This side of my face looks fucking horrible because it's, like, all crooked. This side of my face looks fine. So, it's like I would just get that bump removed, get the deviated. Because I actually went – I did a checkup, and I actually went to a plastic surgeon, and he gave me a consultation. So, this was a couple months ago. I haven't told anyone about this because it's pretty embarrassing as a dude to do it. Oh, we won't tell anybody.

Oh, yeah, yeah, only 150,000 people will see it. But I went to this consultation, and I guess this, I mean, honestly, most plastic surgeons are fucking hustlers, dude, because this dude the whole time, he's like, oh, and I can actually, and I can get you lipo, and I can get you this, I can get you that. Oh, yeah, I can fix the second symmetry of your face.

Yeah, exactly. And apparently he was like the best guy in New York or something like that, I don't know. And he was telling me he could actually, I guess, get my deviated septum fixed at the same time as getting me a nose job. And it would literally be the same recovery process. And most people actually do that. So I was thinking, why don't I do that? Because I don't even breathe that well.

I breathe pretty badly because this deviated septum sucks. Did you do that? It's probably a really quick – how long is the recovery process like six weeks or two months well 10 days until you take the bandages off and then it's going to be tender for a couple months but yeah that's cool i was younger i got my like a horrible deviated septum fixed which uh uh someone on the pka read it this is like months ago they were like hey i you know taylor has a giant head. He's talked about getting his deviated septum fixed. Turns out sometimes that can cause head lateral growth or something. And I was like, that makes me feel really awful.

But it's pretty funny. But who knows if that's true or not. But it was so bad for me that as a kid. Your head growth? No, no, my deviated septum. My dad would always be mad and be like, stop chewing with your mouth open, it's disgusting. And I was like, how is everyone else around me,

every other human on the planet, able to chew food and breathe at the same time? Because I was always like, Dude, same here, oh my god, same here. And then I finally got it fixed and I was like, oh, oh, all these smug assholes. I can eat and breathe at the same time. It's because your nose was fucked up.

That's why. But when I was in there, my mom just said, because I had a bump on my nose, like more of like not a straight nose at the time. And my mom was just like, hey, while you're in there, just go ahead and blow that out. Take care of that. And the guy was like, all right, whatever. Yeah, I'll fix this. Oh, that's awesome. And now, even now dude you're

convincing me right now taking care of like the breathing difference you'll find do you still feel like you have to almost yeah like like when i sleep i like i kind of have to sleep with my mouth open because if i if i have my mouth closed it's like sometimes i have those those weird things where i just like wake up and i'm like like that doesn't happen to anyone else i thought that happened to everyone when i was younger i thought that was just a normal thing like i thought you just start hyperventilating while you're trying to sleep that's something that happened yeah when i was younger like my lips would always be so fucking dry and cracked because i was breathing through my mouth every night and like you were saying i'd wake up

sometimes with the dry cracked lips just like and just be like, oh, you know, silly me. Fell asleep with my mouth closed. How are the rest of these people figuring this out? But yeah, so you don't realize how important the nose is until you get yours working properly. And you're like, there's a reason. Good Lord, put these here. Dude, my list is so much longer than you guys.

To look down. First of all, the whole sleeping thing, I have that now. It still sucks. I keep chapstick and water by the bed so I can just fix this stuff throughout the night. From your nose or from something else? Well, it's the whole snoring, mouth open, nose. It's a fucking mess. Oh, yeah.

I've been going to sleep studies and shit to get this resolved. And my sleep apnea i i've been going to like sleep studies and shit to get this like resolved and uh my sleep apnea apparently is very severe people look every doctor that looks at my stuff is like whoa wow like yeah that you know this is really bad yeah you can actually get really like hurt from that apparently yeah what he dies 18 20 times a night. My blood oxygen level drops to 68, which is really low. That's like a fucking guy on the side of Everest, like 18,000 feet up. People are like, they see it. They're like, you don't look like somebody with sleep apnea like this because most people who have sleep apnea at my level are way big, right?

Or dead. Or dead, yeah. So I've got that going on that's awesome and uh and like you said like the dry lips the dead dry mouth cracked that's that's just something that i like this is life for me but throughout time like i've wanted to get the nose fixed yeah i used to really not like my nose i thought it was my worst feature but now it's like you know if you just kind of fucking own a proud nose i think your face looks the best but you're just staring right at the camera like i'm acutely aware of that no if i

if i turn sideways the profile from my like chin to my throat i don't like very much and uh so that's a surgery you could do with just like a whole body lipo there's a bunch i gotta take it into the shop i wish i could like go in stasis for six months where i could like take my body into the shop have them fix it all up be like you know what i've let a few things accumulate if i could fix this and then uh i'll come out but really one of the big drawbacks is i just well there's a little risk i guess but it's mostly the pain i don't want to be in pain for like six months to get shit dealt with people have had lipo say it's mostly the pain. I don't want to be in pain for like six months to get shit dealt with. People who have had lipo say it's better to starve.

Yeah. There's no way I'd do lipo. I think that lipo is a... Lipo doesn't make any sense, especially for us. Maybe a targeted lipo might make more sense. Let's say you're a girl. It's all targeted though. They pick an area

and go for it. But the problem is, like, it's not like a fucking sniper. It's like, we're going to fuck up just this area of your body. It's like a Dyson. Yeah, I feel like it really does fuck up your body. I mean, if you see those, like, they actually, like, stick these huge needles in you, and they start, like, sucking out all the fat. It just looks like it must really fuck up your, like, something. I don't know.

It just looks like a really good car shot. It depends what you're going for. But you can achieve most of those results you know by running i think what you need to do before you do lipo and i don't mean you you i mean anyone who's like us like like you scarce like like before you would do that it's like well i've actually been losing weight recently like and i took i take you kyle i take your advice so much like actually all of you guys because all you guys are so harsh no no all you guys well i still eat i still eat fast food but it's good in moderation and like really really small portions like i'll have like a cheeseburger maybe once a week or something but um but you guys are so motivating whenever you guys are like because i fucking hate that

fat shaming body positivity bullshit it pisses me off so much like and i know what sometimes the boogies in the show sometimes he'll get into that but it's like i don't understand how people can how can you try to lose weight when there's when you when you think that you're okay in your body you know you have to think okay this is actually a fucking health problem because like and recently i'm really young so it's not that big a deal right now but it's like if i don't get this fixed soon it's going to be harder for me when I'm, when I'm older, I feel like so. It's the trend. You may as well get it taken care of.

The, um, no, I wanted to get back to the targeting, but like you, you think like, oh my God, how did that guy get so fat? But then you realize like, if you just gain like three pounds a year, which is a very small amount and let that be your trend for 15 years, then like, wow, like you'll be a, when you go to your high school reunion, you'll look very different. When I stop eating, I lose weight really rapidly. Like the other day I went, in four days,

I ate like three meals or something like that. And I dropped a considerable amount of weight. Like I've lost all the weight that I gained in Colorado. Yeah, I've been using the Kyle diet. I've been just starving myself, just straight starving myself like Kyle says he does. And it works well until like when you're about a week in and you wake up and you just don't want to get out of bed because you're just so awfully tired. And that's when you shoot up with your B vitamins. Exactly.

Quick injection and you're ready to go again. Injectables. Do you ever go stand do you ever take a little bit of self shaming advice where you go like stand in front of your mirror naked and you put yourself in intentionally unflattering poses and you just look at yourself and you make yourself look

you don't put yourself in like a hunched over what you want to do is you want to look for your best angles and be like oh that could be better that could be better let's make that better if you fill yourself with shame then then you're What you do what you do what you actually do is you squat in front of a full-length mirror for six minutes And you I think and you say what a lot done That I'm more of Taylor's mindset

I'm not saying it's right But like I'll see like a part of me that I'm really not happy with and be like, look at this, you fucking piece of shit. Are you going to tolerate this? Are you going to allow this to be who you actually are? While your mother-in-law is walking by the bathroom door, hears that and thinks you're scolding Jackie. Look at this. Aren't you fucking ashamed of yourself? Is this how you're really going to conduct yourself as a fucking adult your mother-in-law is like dude if i if my inner monologue like if i use that towards other people i would be awful awful

i am only this harsh with me it's because like if i get yeah it's true like because you're the you're in the body you got to live with so you should be more harsh on that one than other people obviously but like it's something about getting like getting yourself a little bit sincerely upset at yourself like god look at that stomach what the fuck is wrong with you you didn't see this coming 10 pounds ago asshole you knew what was happening when you ordered that pizza a few nights ago. You knew you were going to eat the whole thing. You liar.

You lied to yourself. And then later in the day, if I want a little treat or something, instead of had I just in that morning been like, well, I got to work on this. When I see that treat, that Snickers fax break, there's cheese, it's whatever, burger, beer, I'll be like, oh, nope. Because I remember viscerally that feeling of how angry I was at myself this morning. And it won't be worth it tomorrow morning to go, you've done it again, haven't you? You've done it again and dug the hole a little deeper. Like, always stay furious at yourself. Yeah, I mean, I want to act like, you know, I want to act like I actually believe in body positivity. But because I saw this one article this one YouTuber posted on Twitter.

And it was literally an article saying, oh, just don't worry about going on a diet because everyone who gets fat really – they can never get skinny by themselves. And it was just this awful article that made me so depressed. And it was supposed to be this body positivity article, but it really pissed me off to see that people actually believe this bullshit like to actually get skinny you'd have people there constantly telling you you're a fat fuck and if you if you actually keep eating enough like it's bad for your health like and i feel like i'm not enough kids nowadays like i see some of you kids in my age they're just so fat and like no one says anything obviously but it's just like i don't know if just one person went up to them and said uh know, just said something that was just nonchalant. It wasn't even that mean, but it just kind of hinted at the fact that you just, you're just, you know, you're 400 fucking pounds.

Well, I self-identify as a wildebeest. The other thing, on the other side of it, I'll do this. Sometimes what happens to be like, I like to stay up later than like the rest of my family it's my me time and uh so here it is it's like 11 30 i decide to watch a movie which is late and uh the urge to like have a snack with that movie is there if i don't and i wake up i'll be like you know what woody you did it you made it through you didn't snack at all. I have a hard time not believing that I have, I don't know, some sort of special ability when I hear about how strict you are with your diet. And I think about what it takes for me to lose weight.

It just takes turning off one out of five of the awful things I do on a daily basis to lose weight. That's really nice. I'm like, wait, you don't have a snack with your midnight movie? Fuck, what's the point? Why don't you just go to sleep? You eat so many snacks. Yeah, you eat a lot like that, but after

even being in Colorado, seeing how you eat, it's no wonder you're the size you are. People who eat a ton and are fat tend to really underestimate how much they're eating and be like oh i had a cup of coke today and when really it was like a half a two liter or something and someone like kyle who's in good shape and not fat will be like man i ate like a pig i must have had two pounds of chicken wings you know a full pound of pad thai a bunch of Hunan curry or whatever,

and then you look at the actual meals and it's like there's seven bites gone from each of these. There's still so much food left. And like what you're saying, like when you eat super late at night, what you don't include in that is like that 15 hour period that you go without eating before you're like feast and you start it up all over again. And you know what I've been doing lately, though? I know it's got to be unhealthy. It's this nighttime eating.

I will wake up. Listen to this. This is so unhealthy. I catch myself the next morning, and it was like I was in a Shea Carl erotic fog, and I just had to talk dirty to the fucking kitchen. It's like 3, 4. I go to bed at 1 in the morning.

I wake up at 3.30, 4 o'clock, 5 a.m. in the morning, and I go to the kitchen, and it's like three four like i go to bed at one in the morning i wake up at 3 30 four o'clock 5 a.m in the morning and i go to the kitchen and it's like what's in here oh i'll have a diet dr pepper crack that open sit it on the counter and i start looking around for what i can have last night there was a whole bag of tosito scoops like the uh the corn chips and there was a whole i mean a whole jar of bean. And I just stood there in the kitchen eating scoop after scoop of bean dip until I'd eaten a third of a can of bean dip and half a bag of Tostitos. Is this like 3 in the morning? 4 or 5 in the morning.

I finished off the whole, the Dr. Pepper went, and went back to bed. And I've been doing that every single night. One night, I ate half a can of salsa. It's not always chips and dip. Yeah, but that's nothing compared to when I was at the worst weight.

This was almost a year ago. I was almost 300 pounds. I've actually lost 80 pounds. Nice. But recently, I've been gaining weight again. I don't like talking 80 pounds. Nice. Yeah, but recently I've been kind of gaining weight again. So, you know, I don't like talking about it too much because it's so fucking hard. But, dude, that was like nothing. And I feel like with a lot of fat people, they don't like to admit,

but it's like I would literally sit there and maybe eat like maybe three bags or like two bags of Tostitos and just like just sit there all night just being a complete fucking slob and and nowadays It's like I catch myself and I tell myself dude You're gonna fucking hate yourself in the morning It's gonna hurt like hell because like when I was when I was like 300 pounds It just always hurt my stomach just always hurt every day and that I just like that feeling like I actually like the feeling of Like my stomach hurting and like and me just being extremely extremely full all the time

Yeah, the end of your rewarding feeling. That's interesting. No, no, it makes so much sense. Like your brain is immediately rewarding yourself for being – for filling itself. Yeah, exactly. Like, oh, you filled our stomach up all the way? Good boy. Here's some dopamine.

You did a great fucking job today. And you feel accomplished in the meal that you just eat you just say you get those same chemical brain you get the same brain chemistry as if you just like fucking built a shed for your family there's pride and and chemical reward running through your brain because you just killed taco bell it's a it's a real i don't have any meals like this it's so and when i'm hungry you need a snack we have this dispenser that measures out like 16 almonds. You know? Ha!

Oh, well said. That's awful. Imagine the chief engineer on that project. Yes, we need you to design something to dispense 16 almonds. It's like, oh, my God, why did I go to school for this? Like, this fucking sucks. When Jackie first bought it, like, I thought it was for the dog food. Like, it was like, yeah no it's for me

can I ask you a question about these almonds because I love almonds they're one of my favorite snacks because I can't have peanuts here peanuts are the best but almonds are super peanuts oh no they're not not the almonds that I get because I get these little cans of almonds that are the honey roasted ones. Each can. They're about as big around as like a can of cat food or something, and they're about – they're a little bit taller than like a can of cat food. They're certainly not like soup can size. They're maybe two and a quarter inches thick.

Diamond brand? Diamond brand, yes. Those honey roasted almonds, dude, they're 750 calories per container. I ate two containers consecutively one night and had the worst almond shits you've ever even imagined. Imagine eating 1,500 calories worth of honey roasted almonds. It seems like you're a forager 10,000 years ago, and that's all you could find. Yeah, like some sort of hunter-gatherer who just really hit it big in the almond orchard or something like that. Can you imagine how many fights there were in like gatherer societies when like the man came back with like,

Will the Beast again? Or like all the females who went out and were grabbing everything. Like it was only blackberries for months. We never think about these as much. We need to be more appreciative of the fact that we can just go get honey roasted on this. Ah, this is exactly what I thought you were going to have. This is like that thing at the hotels who get single servings of something out for people. Do you, like, steal this from a Marriott?

Dude, this would not help me at all, dude. I just cranked the whole thing. Bring it, ding, ding, ding! Brr! You know how on Wheel of Fortune, how they just come up and brrr! I'd put my bowl under that fucking thing and brrr! Pop off and fill it with milk.

When I eat cereal, I don't even use a normal bowl. My bowl has legs, okay? My bowl can stand on its own in a bed. You can just sit it on a mattress. It's a dip bowl. It's made for a family to eat their dip out of, like a big salsa bowl. It's huge,

plastic, and has a cross underneath of legs that support it. I feel that thing, it was so much cereal. It only makes like three bowls a box. I love cereal. I get the banana nut brunch cereal. That's my favorite kind. I feel that thing, it was so much cereal. It only makes like three bowls a box. I love cereal. I get the banana nut crunch cereal. That's my favorite kind. I really like banana nut crunch. I like bananas in general, even though I'm allergic

to them, so I try to sprinkle them into my diet and be healthy. I love that shit. I eat so much cereal. Yeah, I'm allergic to bananas, like pineapple, avocado, like anything really you could think of. What does it make you feel like itchy or what? Um, usually it's like itchy.

It's like itchy mouth, itchy in back of my throat. But I've had, I've gone into anaphylactic shock where like my throat swelled up so tightly that I was like, yeah, I gotta go to the hospital. From bananas? Yeah. From bananas. Face got huge, so big and red and uh just tears like i guess from the swelling like it's just squeezing your tear ducts because i wasn't crying because for any reason it was

involuntary and just tears just pouring um really bad i had to get like uh what do they get the epinephrine shot yeah yeah yeah they they they fucking they didn't hit me with an epi pen they just stuck it like into a uh an iv that they had stuck in the back of my hand and administered it that way, but that, like... That's what I was about to say. There's certain kinds of medicine that are just instantaneous and obviously, since it's right into my fucking vein, it's gonna do

that, but not only... It was instant. Instantly, like, it was almost like I could feel my head deflating and, you know, my throat, you know, relaxing so I could fucking breathe again. But yeah, I'm allergic to a lot of stuff. A funnier story is one time I went down to Florida to visit this girl. And we went to like a Moe's Burritos or a Chipotle, something like that, where they make those giant two-pound burritos.

And I was like, yeah, guacamole. Yeah, the guacamole. And I'm over there eating this huge burrito, and I bit my lip. And I was like, oh, fuck. I bit my lip. And was like, oh fuck I bit my lip and I just continued eating the thing, what I didn't know is I had like cut the inside of my lip and I was administering avocado

to it, all that toxic guacamole yeah, all that toxic guacamole oh dude, that probably hurts so much all of a sudden, I started feeling my lip, it's big my lip is so big, and it's like the fucking nutty professor, when his lip grows first before the rest of his body goes back to being fat.

And I've just got this huge lip. And I'm like, you know, I think the avocado got into my lip. She's like, you need to go to the bathroom. It was cute. And be like, there's something in the food. There's something in the food i finished the burrito though i still remember it i remember her being like stop eating it i'm like it's just so good you know like that you were probably like actually i'm past the guacamole

section i'm in no danger like nothing left in here they don't take the time to mix up god half of a spoon turn at all these burrito places would be a world of difference in how you eat those burritos. To get a little bit of mixture in there instead of being like, all right, well, I know 30% of this is basically a desert of rice at least. I like the rice too, but I wouldn't eat it. I'm a big fan of the burrito places. I remember in 2005 when I had my very first, I think it was Chipotle, Chipotle burrito, maybe it was Moe's, and just my coworker being like, yeah, you just get a burrito. That's it. I'm like, well, what do you mean?

They don't have different sizes? He's like, yeah, they got a size fucking huge. And I just remember the first time being like, no, man, can you eat this? I was an amateur at that point. I'm watching him finish his, and now i i i fucking get the cake i got the quesarito the other day which is a quesadilla uh wrapped instead of a burrito it's it's it's the burritos wrapped in a quesadilla that is like you were saying how the first time you picked up one of those burritos you were like what what what why why this is like i remember

that feeling too going to chipotle getting a burrito there and being like this is otherworldly but now just a few years later it's totally normalized if you handed a kid in you know fucking chad in africa one of these things wrapped in the gold foil and didn't tell him to unwrap it and he couldn't smell it somehow they would have to think it's something that you threw as a weapon or an IED. And I think that's what I was going to say. They start crying. I don't want to be a suicide bomber!

Explode differently, kids. Yeah. Yeah, those people are absolutely outrageous. And that's got to be reinforcing the fatty mindset, right? Like the fact that there are portion options out there that are that outrageous. But it's not a new thing. Like McDonald's has really toned their shit down, I noticed.

I went to McDonald's the other day, got myself two Little Macs, and I ordered a large fry. And I thought that they had like politically correctly like made their large much smaller than that. No. They brought out this like thing of fries it was it was so much so many fries i thought that they had made the sizes smaller remember when they took the super size thing away after morgan spurlock's uh documentary then they brought it back or they just changed it to large did that now it's just fucking it's actually that probably did worse for people because because super-sized is like, oh, I guess I'll treat myself to a little more shit food, but now they just say

large, and it's the same thing. Or now they have the Grand Mac. Oh, the Grand Mac is so good. I think I told this the other day, but I went in there to get, I ordered two Little Macs. Now, the Little Macs are, you know, what you might think. It's one piece of meat instead of

two all-beef patties, lettuce, cheese, mustard, pickle, and sesame seed bun. You left out special sauce. Special sauce on there. They're much smaller, and I feel almost healthy. My order's taking a really long time. There's cars piling up behind me, and the guy comes out, and he's like, hey,

I can see that there's a problem already. I'm like, shit, what is this? He's like, instead of making you Little Macs, we made you Grand problem already. I'm like, shit, what is this? He's like, instead of making you Little Macs, we made you Grand Macs. And I'm just like, give me my money back. I'm thinking about it for a second. I'm like, I don't want Grand Macs. I made a conscious decision to get Little Macs.

He's literally offering me five times the amount of food that I originally ordered. He's just like, it's free, and it's a lot more food. And I'm like, at least you got the first real problem over there. Bring them. The Grand Mac is the size of a quarter pounder. It's a double quarter pounder, but with secret sauce and in Big Mac style, you know, with a third bun and everything.

I couldn't eat them both. I ate one. I don't like Big Macs at all. I would never. If there's a McDonald's and a burger king right next to each other and i'm getting a burger zero percent chance i'm going to mcdonald's ever i feel like the whopper blows out are you serious the burger king is the bottom tier of fast food is much lower than mcdonald's it's just the bottom tier like i feel like going to burger king is is the worst experience in my life every time i go there but but but i want to say i want to say that i go to mcdonald's so much because mcdonald's like 10 feet away from me right now and yeah well i'm also fat too right that's a normal place

where everyone goes and i go there so much that i asked the lady for a number that works there i mean she's really hot um and i think she's like i don't know i think she's some immigrant i don't want to be politically incorrect here but oh no i think she's around here yeah she must be an immigrant from like mexico or something because she doesn't speak very good english but i got her number so i don't know i haven't texted her because she's the girl from mcdonald's like how am i supposed to start that that conversation you know but i did it a couple weeks ago so i might as well text her soon yeah special sauce there's got to be something you could do there to have some fun with this um i like the special

sauce by the way i was talking about this the other day um i'm a big fan of that special sauce it's fucking special sauce that mcdonald's has it's like it's like that thousand island special sauce that they put on the big mac oh every special sauce is just a mixture of like thousand island mayonnaise ketchup in different percentages. There's only so many sauces, I guess, to be had. Yeah, that's true. But McDonald's

has their own thing. You were talking about the difference between Burger King and McDonald's. I think they're pretty similar, I guess. McDonald's has better most... It gets the win,

especially with things like fries and their CT. McDonald's wins with nuggets handily because Burger King nuggets are not good. Yeah, Burger King nuggets are awful. Burger King is chicken fries, though.

They have those chicken fries. I don't want that shape. I can believe that some chickens somehow on the McDonald's farm all have four exactly of the same shape parts, and you just get different percentages of like, oh, this must be its breast. This is its tit. Oh, this is its calf. It doesn't have calves. Whatever.

Burger King, those fries, it's disgusting because you know but like i just i mean burger king those fries it's disgusting because you know that there was just some mixer with like a big vat of sawdust and some chicken bones grinding it up and mixing that together so you hear the mcdonald's mcdonald's says or maybe i'm just totally thinking of some maybe it's wendy's that said that like they did a test on their 100 real chicken subway it was subway thank you they did a test on their 100% real chicken. Subway. It was Subway. Thank you. They did a test on their made with 100% real white meat chicken, and they found out that it's like 50% white meat chicken. And the way they get away with it is they say that it's made with real white meat chicken,

not made from real white meat chicken. Because made with can mean like, yeah, 1% of it is white meat chicken, but it is made with that they could potentially like use the the tools it could be made of white like they could take chicken slime and use white meat chicken spatulas right and then it would be made with white meat chicken now that's just inefficient i want nuggets made by white meat chicken. They're all online. Just Henry and I were stomping. We were stomping that on. It's a great marketing idea.

I have a new topic. I mean, fast food, we always come back. Yeah, but this is what we should be talking about. So, apparently, there is a group... This article is fantastic. not all heroes wear capes or

camouflage some dress in casual everyday attire and travel around jerking off physically disabled horny guys until they catch a well-deserved unit i'm sorry nut i read it wrong um so there is a group of people they're called the hand angels and they volunteer to jerk off people with extreme physical disabilities at the end it says this group of hand job providers is made up of 10 people from various backgrounds men women heterosexuals homosexuals etc these volunteers are all instructed to keep it at second base kissing and caressing and hugging are all in play but all other forms of penetration are off limits just a group of selfless hand job promoters you know what good for them all heroes yeah dude hand jammers you really gotta be surprised just

for getting elected and these people have nothing ruminate on that yeah you really gotta be into like charity like you have to be into like hardcore doing charity stuff to actually be one of these people to like give people handjobs but I mean that's actually awesome like that's one of the coolest things I've ever seen I think these people just showed up late on volunteer day right how many goodwill weekends

do you have to put in before you're so jaded that you start jacking off because you're like god I just don't get that same high from selling someone somebody else's old blouse and here's what i want to know what what do you need what physical or mental ailment do does one need need to to qualify to get one of these complimentary do we have to pretend to get these people to show up? What if my health issue was a mental health issue and I just lay down on my bed

instead of I can't bring myself to do it? Come on, sweetie. Have you guys seen those people who fake being disabled? Have you guys seen those articles of people who want to be classified as being disabled?

They identify as... Yeah, they identify, yeah, yeah. Yes, yes. Like trans-decapped or something like that. Dude, I'd do that just to get a free handjob. That'd be pretty cool. How pissed off would you have to be as someone who got in a car accident and can't walk

if some asshole with perfectly functional legs is like, you know what? I'm always identified as someone who can't walk. And you're like, really? Yeah. That's gotta be the worst one. The worst.

Yeah. Yeah. That's just making fun of handicap. People is saying, I'm sorry. I need this rascal. The last one at Walmart. Sorry that your hand,

like the people who are handling and helping you are here and you actually need it. I'm I, my legs are phantom paralyzed or whatever they would say actually do hurt themselves like they hurt themselves to the point where they can't use their legs anymore just to get like disability checks and like i don't know i was reading this whole article it was just pissing me off the whole time it's not pc but that's how i feel i get about people who want to change their gender right like like and I don't want to be mean because I feel like people like if you're a boy and you want to be a girl or you identify as

a girl or vice versa I feel like you're in distress and I'm not here to pick on you but like if you have perfectly healthy arms and you identify as an amputee and this is a thing that happens people want to like chop off a hand or a foot or something like that i just saw someone on facebook like reddit or something recently chopped off the tip of a finger and she got this big like relief out of it like no she didn't she wanted a bunch of fucking attention if she look look if she actually those people that actually have that thing like they want a whole arm gone or a hand gone how much of her finger did she cut now i want to believe a finger and i saw it in the fridge i saw it on her hand it looked very real to me and i'm internet

jaded and um um and i i just i i see them and it's like man like it when we see someone who wants to be an amputee all of us say whoa no you don't want to be an amputee be happy with the healthy body that you have but when we see someone who wants to be a girl and they want to chop off their dick, we say, ah. Well, it's because being a girl, I feel like being a girl, it's like you're still equal, right? I feel like if you're an amputee, you just can't walk around. You can't do everything that everyone else can, right? If you're a girl, you could do everything that every guy can. Not fun.

I mean I don't actually fully agree with it and my friends are all my friends that hang with in the real life like they're so against that stuff like oh you know i hate i i think transgender people it's just like a mental illness and stuff but i can kind of get on board with it um like because i feel like if you're if you're a gay guy right and you're so feminine like to the fact that where you really want to be a girl it's like i don't know. That's different, though. The difference there is this. A transgendered person,

sex doesn't even enter into the equation in their mind. It's not that I want to have sex as this or I want to have sex with this and insert whatever you want. It's that I identify as a woman. Now, you could identify, you could be born physiologically a man I identify as a woman. Now, you could identify, you could be born physiologically a man, identify as a woman, but still be attracted to women. You could

identify as a lesbian woman. Caitlyn Jenner. Yeah, sure. About the North Carolina bathroom bill, I was listening to Joe Rogan talking about a bit recently, and he said that if you change, that in North Carolina, you could change your birth certificate to say that you were born your whatever gender that you identify as, and yeah, your preferred sex, and then you can go to that bathroom, and you're all good. Apparently, the bathroom law, that's the sticking point in the verbiage of that bathroom law, is that it has to say it on your birth certificate

So the it has to be what you're born has yeah So if you don't want to get into any trouble in North Carolina as a transgender person go change your birth certificate Yeah, honestly on the thing like like scare said his friends call it a mental disability or there's a I Do too, but in the nicest possible way like I'm not here to pick on anyone if you told me that they were depressed Or that they had schizophrenia or any other mental illness, I would offer the same sympathies. Like, I don't want to be mean to someone

who I feel like is in distress, but I do feel like they're in distress and that it's not a healthy thing to wish you weren't your gender. And that, like, I would push them towards... I don't think that they wish that they weren't their gender. They believe that they aren't their gender. That might be a semantic talk.

No, I think it's an important distinction. Now, personally, I think that the vast majority of transsexual individuals probably have some sort of other underlying issue that might need to be treated, and it's likely mental or chemical or something like that. Now, certainly not a mike pence over here that's saying let's let's electrocute them a little bit that'll that'll straighten things out straighten things out indeed there's a lot of comorbidity with other mental yeah absolutely because there's so many things that are going to that are going to present themselves with that same sort of mindset that these individuals have the problem is that you know they they give this like percentage of like two percent of the population is transgender i don't know how they come up with that same sort of mindset that these individuals have. The problem is they give this percentage of like 2% of the population is transgender.

I don't know how they come up with that number. But let's say that it's 2%. Yeah, but let's say that 2% is just identifying as it. Well, then you've got to like, that's a whole other subsect that you've got to dissect and figure out how many of this 2% actually have this incredibly, incredibly rare thing that for some reason we're writing legislation about to give exemptions and exceptions to. It just seems like we're wasting a lot of time and effort. And then, of course, there's the old argument that's going to get made every time. You're a

father with an eight-year-old daughter going into the bathroom. Not all of these, not all transgender people look like the sex that they believe they correspond to. And the other thing that can get mixed in is there could just be some creepy guy with a beard who wants to go in there and listen to little girls pee. Maybe that's his thing. You don't have to jump

to, oh, he's in there grabbing them. That game wouldn't last. I mean, there's already creepy dudes who sneak in. But a more likely real thing is maybe there's just a fucking dude who likes to go in there and listen to girls pee, sit in the stall, and jerk off all day. Maybe that's his game. For real. Absolutely.

And how do you figure out if that's the case in there? And because of the current climate climate if you will you're not allowed to even question that because there are certainly crazy men well that's just common sense since the north carolina hp2 bill has been enacted it's been like almost a year now there have been exactly zero people impacted by it billions of dollars lost in the economy here you know the nba pulled out the nhl pulled I'm not sure about that one. The NCAA pulled out. PayPal pulled out. Deutsche Bank pulled out.

Billions of dollars lost from our economy. Zero people actually caught by this new law. It's a preventative measure. Woody, that's what you just don't see. All of the lives that were saved by keeping these monsters out of our

restrooms. It's actually a grandstanding measure. They're hoping to catch some toothless redneck boats, so they made it illegal. Perhaps, but if that's you, if it were me, I would be like, well, let's go get that birth certificate thing fixed. That's probably going to make my entire life as a transgender

individual easier if my birth certificate reflects the gender that I was born. I have a question. So if you do get that change in your birth certificate, I guess it all depends on what the judge has to say. But say you were going to go to life in prison. Would you go to a woman's prison? Because then I would definitely identify as a girl if I knew I was going to go to trial and I was going to get life. There was actually –

There's a couple stories about that there was one that came out recently of a guy who transitioned into a lady but has a penis and testicles still and kind of got his attorney to get the judge to say okay you can go to female prison and then he went to female prison and she

was like she eventually had to get booted back to the male prison because obviously sex was occurring with all the female inmates. You generally don't want that in prison. Dick McGillicuddy had come into the jail. It was a whole different scene. Everybody was scissoring up until that.

Suddenly there was a dick on the scene and everybody got a little excited. They're scissoring and then they see what's clearly a man and the scissoring slowly stops as they all notice that this is a man and the scissoring slowly the uh as they all notice that this is a man that's come into their midst that's uh i linked you guys something from jerry springer it's this guy i watched this years ago i don't remember what he was fully saying but removes his legs or wearing a dress i don't know if he's a transvestite or what but he cut his legs

off here's a man he's saying that he's happy that he cut his legs off he's wearingvestite or what, but he cut his legs off. And he's saying that he's happy that he cut his legs off. He's wearing a blouse, too. I don't know if that's a transgender person or if they just are dressing differently. Dressing differently? Come on.

You're still on the screen right now. I see a maniac with disgusting stuff sticking down because he mutilated his body and he's wearing a fucking shirt skirt and am i supposed to jump ahead on this he has marine cortex if you go to like a minute 20 i'm not even listening to the sound just go like a minute or so and you'll start to see like if i was to have if you're going to cut both your legs off do you think you'd make a fucking effort to get them both off at the same place my god this person's right leg they she he cut his own legs off and he didn't have the decency to be like i'm going to cut him at the

same level one of them still got like an extra knee length attached and it's like make it look real doesn't it now you have to get it just you know now you have to go up and trim like a haircut oh that's an ugly fuck look at his teeth they're all missing and shit i can see the five o'clock shadow and this is 240p no one looks at this guy and and says like oh well he just identifies as a leg oh that's a beautiful so you know we should all understand and accept him as a legless person we all say man this guy has a mental disability in my head chopping off your penis is is right in that same category you know you can't just identify as someone with no cock and and and have me say like oh yeah that's completely healthy we just need to accept you as a cockless person no like

i'm not mad at you i'm on your side but but but but i think that you have to make the distinction between um what i what's the disorder when you think one of your limbs doesn't need to be there on your side, but I think that you have to make the distinction between... What's the disorder when you think one of your limbs doesn't need to be there? It's like some sort of dysmorphia or something. Body dysmorphia. Body dysmorphia. I think there's a huge difference between body dysmorphia and someone identifying as transgender, because it's not

like they look at that penis and they say, this doesn't belong here. They don't think that their penis doesn't belong in the same way. A lot of people do. Which is why they have it removed, though. I don't know, man. I feel like a couple decades down the road, I feel like a couple decades down the road,

all of you guys are going to look so bad when you're putting one of those montages of people who were super racist back in the day. I feel like the transgender issue is going to be a couple decades from now. Everyone's going to get so much plastic surgery. Guys are going to look exactly like girls if they get enough plastic surgery.

And I just feel like 50 years down the road, it's going to be a normal thing for a dude to transition into a girl. As weird as it is, I feel like you guys will be on the wrong side of history by talking about it like this. If we continue

in this lovely little period of time where we just got everything we could want, all of our needs are satiated, and we're just looking for something else to fucking invent to keep ourselves entertained, then yeah, we'll all start becoming different genders and different species, and there will be

people who identify as different ages and different races. If you're an adult and you want to go through a transition or whatever, if you're an adult and you want to go through a transition whatever if you're an adult and you want to go through the transition whatever fucking do it like go do what you want you're an adult you can make your own decisions but i understand where woody's coming from saying that like you can notice that there is a high comorbidity with being a trans person and you know depression anxiety disorders very very exceedingly high rates of suicide both before and after transitioning and hormone treatment you can look at that and and say you know i really i feel for these people

like these are people who are clearly struggling and they need help and who knows what the best means of helping them is like who knows maybe they'll figure out hey all we've done all these studies and actually hormones make a big difference and this is how this is our methodology maybe they'll come back and say hey actually we turned out that putting hormones into a person at age 19 or whatever is a really bad idea and we decided not to do that anymore or whatever like i don't know it's a very complex issue have you guys seen those like camps where they have all these yeah what's up uh have you guys seen those camps where they have all these like really young kids and they all are going through hormone treatments and stuff like i've watched so many documentaries on this where like

they have these camps now where their mothers and fathers like want their kids to basically change that i mean like obviously the kids are saying it but like the mothers and fathers they're so into it that they're letting their like nine-year-old son or whatever go on their hormone blockers uh in order to actually transition they have these camps of all these kids who like i guess make friends with other kids who are going on these hormonal blockings. You know what this means, right? That's why I totally, again, like, before we turn it into a joke,

I am really against that. Like, it's a child. You can't be saying this kid is old enough to make this hormonal decision for the rest of their life, this seven-year-old. But this kid, if he wanted to see, if he said, if he walked into a 7-Eleven and said, hey, give me, if he walked into a 7-Eleven and said, hey, give me some cigarettes, give me some dip, give me alcohol, they'd say, you're too young to make that decision.

And yet they're letting that child make that decision. Like that, that's bananas. And especially if you have a parent who's that into it to take him to a camp. I've never heard that story. I'll take your word for it. You can tell that that kind of parent's pushing them maybe into it a little more than they should. Like it's, it's child develop i think i'd be sympathetic of the kid struggling right but i don't think i would make medical decisions based around it right maybe just emotional and supportive decisions

but not hormones not certainly not any kind of plastic surgery you can be empathetic i mean those blockers fuck you up for the rest of your life. You're never going to have a real cock for the rest of your life. Now hang on. You've got to look at it from the other side though. If you're on the other side of this you're looking at like, look, I have precious time here before male hormones

start ruining this body that I have that is definitely identifying as female. We have to get me on these blockers, or I'm going to become what I view as a monster. I'm going to grow into something that I don't identify as. That's how they're looking at it. That's how they're looking at it, but that doesn't justify it. Like, still, you're not talking about a 30-year-old. I don't know. Look, I have seen so many

passable ones, especially on the old internet, that I have to believe that if you start at eight years old with your transition, there's going to be no way to tell. That's what I was getting at. As soon as you mentioned this little tidbit, I was like, wow, we're talking about a future where it's incredibly difficult to discern the difference between. I think people won't care eventually, though.

I think eventually it will be like, oh, yeah, I was born a a dude and it's just like this really hot chick you're just you just what do you want to procreate though i i think that's where things come into it like eventually there's not even gonna it'll be like what was that movie i don't know i forgot the movie but where they have like the the thing where they it's basically like virtual reality of them having sex um and like they they don't actually procreate by really having exactly yeah and uh yeah well okay now now we're thousands of years into the future where we just have virtual reality sex and then babies just now they only froze for like 200 or so only okay so we're 200 years in the future yeah wesley snipes is a real badass in that movie it's such a shitty movie

it's awful i'm just convinced i'm so right on this i can't change my mind i oh i think it's such a shitty movie it's awful i'm just convinced i'm so right on this i can't change my mind i i oh i think it's right on it too but i i think it's important to like be right in the right way because there's little a little little pitfalls along the way where where the oh you don't even understand what you're talking about it's it's i think that the vast majority of of these people are wrong about what's going on but i think there are definitely people who are right about what's going on that their brains are just wired in a certain way um and and that's what's going to fulfill them as a person is to transition and and and and be that way i'm stuck on this idea that it's a better idea to focus on the wiring than it is the rest of the package that that you know like who, maybe a testosterone patch on their deltoid and suddenly they start feeling really guyish.

You know, like I don't know. I'm not a doctor. And also, I keep reiterating, I'm not coming at this from a mean standpoint because I feel like most people on my side do. Most people on my side are like, oh, they've got a fucking mental illness. Screw those fags or whatever. That's not where I'm coming from. I'm coming from like, oh, i can see that this person is struggling i just think they're aiming at the wrong solution yeah that's totally understandable like and i mean

like i said if you're an adult do what you want you should have the freedom to do what you want as an adult but uh a child you should not as a parent be able to say oh little little susan is uh really loves trucks more than dolls are you a boy susan yeah i'm a little boy or whatever oh she certainly is we're gonna get her testosterone boosters aren't you susan sure i don't care i still want to be a dinosaur jack what do you want to do when you grow up susan i want to be a a space dinosaur pegasus or something like that's the age that i keep obviously this is hyperbole but i mean you guys don't right but i feel like you shouldn't be able to do that to children it's going to be the same thing where

it's like like you guys are saying right now okay well there's something wrong with you right like like maybe mentally there's something wrong with you at least that's what my friend's argument is it's like with gay people you know 50 years ago they did the same thing where it's like oh you need to go to church there's something wrong with you and now you guys are making the same argument for transgender people so i feel like i may be a couple decades down the road because trust me i'm with you guys on this but like i'm just trying to think like 50 years from now i don't want this soundbite to to be everywhere when i'm trying to run for congress i can't run for congress it says too much it's 50 years from now i'll be dead so so i'm really cool in this regard i'll be 95

i'm not making it tonight i've never had a family member live that long i'm so dead by then so you're not like partying every night like i feel like you're gonna be alive for a while like um you know my grandpa lived till like he was like almost 100 and this dude had like cancer like multiple times he had pneumonia when he was in his 90s like i feel like some people are just meant to live for a long time like no matter what heart attack in my sleep it's it's almost predestined somewhere between 65 and 75 yeah all right i have uh i have uh i'm gonna live forever i have two topics here um i'll utilize i'll suck fetuses stem cells whatever it takes i'll i'll prey upon the the innocent, whatever is required.

I have two stories. One is in Thailand. These prisoners are allowed to MMA fight for their freedom. I think that's pretty cool. That makes perfect sense. I actually don't mind that. We should definitely take the best fighters and give them their freedom and let them roam the streets.

No, no, no. This is a fun thing for Thailand, Woody. Thailand. And so my second story option is this transgendered – it kind of fits where we're going. This transgendered teen who had been barred from wrestling against boys – oh, who had been barred against wrestling against boys wins the girls' championship in Texas. I read that story we should just talk about that that is like I would feel like such a cheater if I was in a wrestling tournament and everybody knew ahead of time like yeah this person is

taking a performance enhancing drug and then you get beat by them and you're like well they did take a performance enhancing drug yeah let's give a little background so this is a girl who's someone who was born a girl but who identifies as a boy and has been taking testosterone and um so so but she's got a you know she's got a vagina right but she's on testosterone and she competed in the girls division and she was noticeably stronger because obviously i think 56 and 0 or something was her record i i've read it looks like all those ufc uh girl fighters aren't testosterone though like but this girl is like 11 or something girls oh high school is it even high school or middle school it's a it's an age of girls where they're wrestling for fun they're not going home and pumping 17 17 she

looked younger in my head i saw her in a small like a faraway picture but um i didn't see huge oh you got a link i um i didn't see video of her in action but uh i read about it and they said that like you know when she wrestled the other girls she was noticeably stronger and she was just able let's watch the video it's 30 seconds okay wow these are the best pictures i've seen this is a better article right you see the definition the muscularity yeah yeah are you guys ready yes three two one play uh that's her on the left. Oh, Dominic. Wow.

She's winning handily. Wow. Yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. That's actually awful. I don't like watching that. It's not fair. It's watching someone cheat in a competition.

The girl at the bottom can't even get herself off the mat. She can't even get the distance between herself and the mat. She's completely flat. I can't even imagine an argument in favor of this. If you have an argument in favor of this, I can't even imagine. What would it be? What would you say to the 56 girls that she beat who also were trying to do good? And they're like, oh, I'm up against Mac now now and it's a guarantee that he is way stronger than me and so i'm gonna get thrown i'm gonna get ragdolled out here like

start reading the story of david goliath or something then you're this is outrageous and at the same time like you couldn't have him who was a her in the boys division because she'd have no chance right i don't know about that scroll all right so so look up there's a photo album there on on mac riley oh but then if you if you allow people to do that in high school then a guy will go to the girls and dominate right he could do that anyway i i would imagine if no no no that's the law like that's what they're saying is like if you're uh the birth certificate thing. If you're a female on your birth certificate, you have to stay in the female league. And if they let him, this female born at birth and now a man, if they allow her to fight in the boys' division,

then they'd have to allow a boy who identifies as a girl to fight in the girl division, right? Yeah, yeah. I definitely see your point. If you scroll through these photos – And then that would be totally unfair. Well, they had that in, like, one of those big MMA tournaments or whatever, right? Didn't they have that one guy who, like, identified as a girl, and he just beat the shit out of all those girls? Yeah, in fights in Japan where they don't care about weight classes or cocks.

Yeah, they're about exhibition matches in Japan, which is what's fun to watch on YouTube. All those, like, exhibition, like, exhibition matches in Japan, which is what's fun to watch on YouTube. All those exhibition, like, oh, this guy is 600 pounds for seven midgets. Who's going to win?

Who's going to win seven midgets for the super wrestler? That's funny. I would watch that. I'd watch that, too. I want to see that. This, to me, is just patently ridiculous. For me, there isn't a division she can fight in

or wrestle in, I should say. Maybe against the guys, but she'd get crushed, I think. Look at the photo of her next to a guy. I bet she would be the... She wouldn't be the worst guy on her wrestling team. The whole thing about it is

the gender and all the trans stuff out of it. Just make it what it's about, which is performance-enhancing drugs. You can't be making an excuse for someone to be able to take a PED because then tons of people are going to be like, oh, I'm going to opt that way too.

I identify as a steroid user. Go to the highest level. Maybe MMA isn't the highest level. Maybe NFL is where they don't even talk about it. But if you look in MMA, the rule now apparently is wait until you get tested and they find that you're on something. And then retroactively come up with the excuse for why you were on that thing, and everything's fine. That's the precedent that's been set now.

That shouldn't be fine either. You're supposed to be disclosing everything you're on, from Advil to fucking testosterone. But what they've allowed to happen, I guess with Cyborg, I think, is she tests hot, and she says, oh, let me go hire a few doctors. We're going to have a little powwow over here and figure out some reasons for why I was on that diuretic.

Oh, we came up with it. The reason I'm on that diuretic is because I used so many steroids in the past that I need it to be a normal functioning human. But I'm not on any now. I'm not on any steroids now. I'm only on steroid masking agents, and i'm fucking

jacked i i'm a woman who fucking deadlifts 300 plus pounds for reps like like what a monster she is so when you see that at the pro where the example should be set you go down to the amateur high school level like this i mean what do you expect? They're certainly not going to force some sort of PED rules and regulations that if the pros are doing whatever the fuck they want. Dude, I've got a topic. Kyle's probably seen this because I know he's interested in MMA. But check this out. So, look, this video, I'll warn people like the first minute and a half ish is before the fight that we're about to watch but i want you to see the fighters like warming up and getting introduced uh-huh because

it's a ridiculous i'm gonna i'm gonna roll mine back to zero okay the first 10 seconds but let's all pause at 10 seconds and look at how this woman holds her hands are you guys queued up at zero it looks like it's still getting queued up i'm i'm all ready to go ready set play bitch watch too much ron rousey she's holding her hands up here and the least athletic sort of oh i didn't pause at 10 i paused at 12 but it works. It works anyway, yeah. So, yeah. Why would you agree to do this?

Dude, this woman. She watched too much Ronda Rousey. This promotion, I forget the name of it. I want to say Excite or something like that. They're known for mismatches. This is where MMA fighters go to get their records padded. Now, it turns out this woman is like 0-3. I think she's 0-4 after this. And the woman she's fighting is 0-0.

But it's viewed as, it's been billed as like a soccer mom against a pro MMA fighter. Truth is, the soccer mom's got three professional MMA losses. Oh! So I get, who's the pro fighter you can decide for yourself but um uh here i'll go back to 10 seconds so we all she doesn't look like she knows anything about mma i mean she's just no no you know there was no point where i thought it looked like she knew what she was doing let's go to 10 seconds and hit play i'm at 10 all right i'm at 10 looking All right. Brady. I'm at 10. Look into those hands. Brady said play.

Yeah. So she totally is like, she's got like, now look at this woman. She's jumping up and down. The other lady looks like she's waiting to pick up her daughter from school. Dude, when I rolled with Joe Lozon,

he did something like she did. He was just kind of bouncing, loosening up his arms and stuff. Something about him. He just moved different than other people do. The effortless way he bounces. She's not moving like she's the biggest skill person. She's moving the same way I would move on the ice rink if it was me versus Kyle in a hitting competition. Ultimate confidence.

I know there's a 0% chance it'll go wrong. In the chin again in the chin again when she puts her head up in the final like to feed her the final blow she doesn't have her hands anywhere near her face the fight's been going for 8 seconds and her hands are down

oh brutal good she needed a good whooping maybe there's a white house black market nearby Oh, brutal. Good, good. She needed a good whooping. Maybe there's a White House black market nearby where she can go get a little bit of shopping done and take her mind off it. She looked like such a bitch, too.

Maybe I'm just reading too much into the way that blonde lady looks. She looked like a real cunt. She just looked like she'd be a bad person. I'm glad she got beaten up that badly. That's great. I didn't she got beaten up that badly. That's great. That's great. I didn't get a cunty vibe.

I got a, this person got offered like, I don't know, a free, they went to K, Jupiter's Necklace and decided to give it a go. You don't land one punch. And of course, you get your own charm bracelet. I think the soccer mom was a late fill-in. Like the person originally scheduled to take this fight uh didn't show or couldn't make it or missed weight i don't know what happened but so they called the soccer mom and they're like hey you're oh and three you're

a professional fighter you know do you want this and she says yeah i'm in and uh that's why she didn't have like you know even mma clothing available to her. She just showed up. She was actually with her class giving the tour of the place. Miss Carol, why are you in there? I'm not sure, kids. I don't know. I just walked in. The door was open. Don't tell your parents about this.

That is not part of the promotion. They put their mouth guard back in. Yeah, man. So the promoters are like, dude, this is not a mismatch. Look at it. It turned out to be a mismatch. But if you look at it on paper, the one who lost is actually a more experienced fighter, and she was a little heavier. Dude, mismatch, mismatch.

So I don't know. I thought it was fun. Soccer mom. He's real upset about the soccer mom characterization. So I don't know. I thought it was fun. Soccer mom. He's real upset about the soccer mom characterization.

He's saying that the only reason this fight is getting so much attention is that they called the loser a soccer mom. But I think that's silly. I think that. That's what you do with any YouTube video, right? You got to put that in the title. You got to act like, you know, it's bigger than it really is. You know what? At least for YouTubers nowadays. I mean, like, you really need to, like, Woody, I think you should start stepping up your titles, dude.

At least for YouTubers nowadays. I mean, like, you really need to, like, Woody, I think you should start stepping up your titles, dude. Like, I feel like you're so conservative because, like, you're used to, like, 2012 where people got angry at you if you said one thing that was, like, somewhat false to your title. But it's, like, nowadays I see these YouTubers, like, I know you had a Quibble Cop on this show before. Like, me and him are friends. But, like, some of his titles are, like, oh, you know, I'm going to kill someone or something. And it's just him playing a video game. And it's, like, those videos make tons of views nowadays. It's, like like you can clickbait as much as you want. No one cares anymore. You're right

I think I do need to step it up and I was looking at like my I saw a video Like I don't know whatever I guess I was in my own related videos and it was like It's hard to watch my 12 year old daughter do drugs, right? I think she went to the dentist my 12 year old daughter do drugs, right? I think she went to the dentist. And she was like all out of her mind. It'd be even worse nowadays if a vlogger, you know, was at the dentist, he makes some crazy shit up,

like I almost died or something like that. Probably man, yeah, but I was like, you know, I guess I did click bait a bit back in the day. Now, dude, if I click bait at all, my subs throw a riot and sometimes I feel like it's just not worth it, but maybe it is. I don't know. It's hard. Yeah. You guys got to do that more on the PKA, but yeah, I have something I want to talk to you guys about. Okay. So I heard Kyle talk about this quite a bit. Um, so I just sent a screenshot in there. Uh, this is my car. I have a Tesla. Um, and I always hear you guys talk about Teslas.

And I feel like some of you, sometimes you guys sound like you don't, like you guys don't say. I feel like sometimes you guys mischaracterize Teslas. But basically, the Tesla, when it comes to autopilot, it's not like actually self-driving. Like when I use my Tesla, like when i use autopilot the only thing it's good for it's basically like an advanced cruise control um it's it's not actual like autopilot i guess that's just the name they use for it but um yeah so basically whenever i use autopilot the only time i use it is like if i'm in bumper to bumper traffic but it actually works really well like um i think all of you guys should get teslas like i think

everyone should have a tesla i know the model 3 is coming out soon and it's just it's the best thing ever autopilot because it literally is a lifesaver like if you're in bumper to bumper traffic you just use it and you could just go on your phone and just do whatever the fuck you want and it literally never crashes like it's actually saved me from a few crashes it's it's like its own uh it's like a computer dude i feel like it's like an iPhone. Because, like, what I do is I press a button on my phone, and it literally drives itself out of my garage, parks itself on the street, and it turns, like, the light off in my garage. It's the craziest thing ever. Like, I don't know.

I don't know. Like, technology nowadays is so insane. Yeah, and I think I got it for pretty cheap, too. Like, I feel like people think Teslas, like, they cost a lot of money, they're luxury cars. But, like, you could actually get it for, like, $50,000, $60,000. And, like, the Model 3 that's coming out is only $30,000. You know who's getting one of those? Dr. Chiz signed up.

Like, the day they opened sign-ups for that new Model 3, like, within a few hours, Chiz had registered to get that car. Now, my theory is that he's gonna buy he's gonna flip it like i think that might be in his heart i don't know i'm making this up but i i think that the waiting list for that car is going to be so long that they'll be selling above sticker for a while and he'll make a quick 8 12 grand i don't know are they gonna allow that you think that that was no they don't be the sort of thing that... Yeah, Tesla doesn't allow you to sell pre-owned cars, only with them. It's actually pretty fucked up. You kind of have to buy it new, or you can buy it pre-owned,

but it has to be through their website, or else it's not legal, apparently. And that's just because there's so many regulations with Tesla anyway. But, dude, now that I have a fully electric car, every time I see someone with smoke coming out the back of the car, I just think, wow, you're fucking scrubbed. No, it actually pisses me off now when I see people with smoke coming out the back of their car. I don't know why.

I really don't know why. I feel like such a piece of shit. Are you getting high on your own smug? Like South Park? Smug alert. You're starting to like to smell of his own farts. Smug alert. That's what that is, yeah. Let me do a quick

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Once again, that's meundies.com slash pka. Meundies.com slash pka. Check it out. Do they sell boxers, too? Yes, they do. That's what I wear. Oh, okay, okay. Because I can't remember the last time I wore actual underwear, or even briefs. that a lot of boxers too or just they do that's what i wear yeah i get oh okay okay because because

i i can't remember the last time i wore actual underwear or even briefs i think i just straight up wear boxers all the time because it's just so much i like to just being loose i made the switch to boxer briefs after boxers because i used to just wear the loose baggier kind and then once you felt the control and and you're no flipping and flipping and flopping like Kramer, you know, no flipping and flopping. You just get – you start to enjoy that feeling of control. And I know Woody and Kyle, you know, having been MeUndies aficionados for a while, you know what it's like to run up and down the stairs in your underwear and not hear the telltale slap of ball sack and penis against leg. You know when you run down a like a stairs at like the perfect uh frequency like you know when you're in the shower and you like the

and it hits perfectly and it reverberates it's almost like that when you run down a lot of stairs if you hit the right pattern where like every three steps like you hear your the clap of your balls against your leg you know where you like every three and you pop pop pop pop nobody else it's not the balls it's the dick like black eyes brained ankles it's awful ankles it's a lot of mass i think you're just falling down the stairs well hit me in the eye you would too yeah me undies are like suspension for your balls and cock they just hold everything there support them through all those rough,

bouncy periods of life. It's not just the suspension, it's the big thing. It's the presentation. It's the trophy case that it turns your balls into. That's the number one jokey reason for me. The number one real reason is the smell. These things do not get any smell on them at all. Do you normally have

an issue with your underwear smelling i'm thinking back to like when i would play hockey and i'd wear like regular cotton underwear under my jock and under everything like if i left that underwear in my bag like just regular cotton uh boxer briefs and take it out like the next week it would be like there'd be a little civilization on it like you can let it ferment yeah i'm saying that like you could do that with modal if you wanted i could wear that under my hockey stuff throw it in there and then if i took it out and got it far enough away that i couldn't still smell my shit i could smell it and it wouldn't smell yeah i used to play hockey um i was uh left wing yeah i was left wing and i actually played yeah and well i wasn't the best at it but i played it a lot through like like, you know, like high school and stuff.

And I don't know, dude. It's actually – everything just smells so fucking bad. Like, everything is just so disgusting. I don't know. I don't like any sports now. Like, everything just smelled so bad. It was just – everything was so disgusting. Like, I don't know.

I don't like – You know that Rick and Morty episode where there's, like, a civilization, and that civilization has a civilization in that. Microverse. It all happens in the car battery. I think that happened inside my hockey bag. You know, they're just.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I think like bacteria is growing on it. It's a smell that like when you describe it to people who haven't smelled hockey or especially hockey stuff from a pubescent boy. The jockstrap is the most disgusting thing ever. It is vomit-induced.

Like, when a parent would, or if a player's, like, older sister had to, like, bring in juicy juice or whatever, Gatorades after the game when we were in high school, like, they'd, like, get to the door of the locker room and be like, Oh, oh, oh, oh. Just take this in. Take this into them. Because it smells horrible. And teenage boys don't know how bad they smell. I used to keep my hockey bag when I used to drive a jeep i used to keep it in

the back seat open you know it's because it's an open trunk because it's an suv uh and i drove some a couple or one girl that was annoying to carpool but i had to pick her up because of like our families knew each other and when i would get pissed off at how loud she would want her shit music played in the morning and i would just white knuckle it i would always leave my hockey stuff in over the weekend so when i picked her up on monday it was just disgusting like she had to have gotten out of that car smelling a little bit i guess like it was that rank but uh what position did you play in hockey left wing uh left wing right wing okay he said what did you say that's how i knew yeah um well i stopped at like freshman year high school but i don't know like i actually was pretty shit at it um i was actually probably the worst player on the team um but i loved it

dude i don't know what it is but like i tried every other sport like i played basketball for a long time played every sport but hockey was just like your constant adrenaline rush of like i need to get the puck i need to get the puck, I need to get the puck. And you're just so aggressive with the stick. I feel like, I don't know, I just feel like it's the most aggressive sport, and I've always had the most fun playing. It's the only sport that I actually had fun playing. But I can't watch it, except for the fights and stuff.

I find those interesting. I feel like that's what makes hockey. But, yeah, I mean, it's a fun sport. The most boring sport, though, is baseball. I tried playing that for two years in middle school and it was just awful it was so boring yeah like was it your thing like did your dad push you into sports or want you to play sports yeah my mom did too for some reason she really wanted to play sports i guarantee my dad thought i was gay because of how little interest i had in baseball and soccer where i would just go out in the field and he'd be like Taylor's playing with bugs again you know just

out there not paying attention to doing anything like when I finally found hockey like you were saying like a sport that when I got out there and played I wasn't thinking like how much longer till this is over and I can go home like I think you're constantly thinking about it over I'm like oh god damn like I want to keep playing like I'm so amped up. So you just go straight from there and play street hockey. It was great. It's nice to find a sport where you don't have to feel like you're pretending to like it because that was baseball for me. I was not good. Not good at all.

Yeah, exactly. I have a hockey topic. Oh, I know Kyle's down. He's wearing his outfit. Kyle, you can wear a Chicago Blackhawks hoodie and then make that just smell the fart face when it gets brought up. This video is 40 seconds long, 39 seconds long.

Cue up at zero. I am all squared away. Oh, this is the guy you're talking about. Yeah. You guys ready? Cueed up at zero. So, name of the video is Brandon Brandon Day faces charges after leaving referee incident. Oh, okay. Ready, set, play.

Defenseman Brandon Day, an Erie Community College hockey player, is facing charges this morning for attacking a referee on the ice at the end of the National Junior College Athletic Association championship game. on the ice at the end of the National Junior College Athletic Association Championship game. So not clear from the video what motivated Day, who charged from the penalty box with 39 seconds left in the game, and knocked the referee to the ice with two unofficials. Rest of the day to the ice. He does not give a fuck. To end the game at that point, police spokesperson did not specify what charges Day was facing.

Day's team lost the game. Day's team lost the game. I like how they showed the video like four times just repeating again. It's exactly what I wanted. That literally happened last year in the NHL. A guy got scinted because he got like concussed. Weidman a guy got concussed. Weidman, he got concussed in a big hit, and he was skating back to his bench with his head semi-down,

and there was a ref with his back to him, and he just goes, bam, and just smashes into the ref and knocks the ref down, and then just keeps skating to the bench like nothing happened. And he said he was delirious from his concussion, so i guess that makes you just be like ah a ref and you attack but you know if that is the case that's the first time someone's done it in the nhl where they're so concussed they attack a ref but uh his

suspension's up so i'm sure i'm sure he's fine uh yeah i guess kicked off the team or something but the whole league got wiped out this was like the championship game in a league that like i don't even know njcaa like as a hockey community national junior something i don't know junior i all right i was stuck on new jersey but yeah i like yours more that's what nj stands for like nj is a Conference Athletic Association. I don't know. But yeah, so this, oh, here it is. National Junior College Athletic Association. And the whole thing is like, there's only five teams in it.

This is the final game in the finals for like the cup. I'd be so angry with him. I would fucking hate him. Like he wouldn't be my friend anymore if we were friends. And I figured out that he fucked it up by like attacking a referee. Well, the league was ending anyway so this was like the last game that this league was ever gonna play and for lack of participation and uh there were only 39 seconds left in the game so he ended the game 39 seconds early by attacking the ref oh wow what he should feel like a jackass like what a piece of shit well what if the ref made a bad call had you considered that you know what i had considered it i still think it'll over the line you know a little bit that's just how people like attacking

referees because i know people get really angry with referees but it's like if if that was like a normal occurrence like i don't know i feel like the referees would be so much more scared like you'd have to they'd have to get paid a lot more money to actually be a ref if they if they have the chance of getting attacked like that all the time you know different about hockey and some of the other sports it's almost okay to chirp at the refs a little bit right back me up here people good the refs yeah if a ref makes a bad call you can like name call uh you know tell him he needs glasses you're missing a great game out here whatever it is that you're gonna say um like you know like that's just part of hockey like you kind of chirp at the refs a little bit the refs will give it back a little bit sometimes sometimes they won't sometimes They just sit there and pretend they can't hear but I feel like in baseball like players don't talk shit to umpires

I there's like it's a different level of respect in other sports And it's almost like because hockey is so aggressive and you know emotions are running high and people are fighting and shit out there Hitting each other that you know the ref knows he's to get caught in the crossfire a bit with shit talk. And there's so many videos out there of refs doing their own shit talk back, and there's something about shit talk in a Canadian accent that's just so fucking funny. You know, they're talking about putting the biscuit in the basket over on the other end of the ice, and he comes down and says, hey, you're a hoser, or whatever the fuck Canadians say. And it's just such a benign

friendly accent to hear them and then also like the way they talk before fights where you can see them like go away i don't know i i'm a little better than you you know we're getting the raw end of the deal over here you know we're there was an i i my team's gonna miss me a lot more than yours is gonna miss you eh like that kind of shit. And like, I like it. It's just. You couldn't pay me enough to be a ref though. It seems like just such a horrible job. Like.

A ref died in the KHL this year. Got hit in the head with a puck, I think. No helmet or did he hit his helmet? No, I think it probably just killed him anyway. Like, I don't know. Maybe it wasn't KHL. Maybe it was like a minor league in Russia. It was in Russia though.

So maybe helmets weren't a thing. I don't know. Or they wasn't KHL. Maybe it was like a minor league in Russia. It was in Russia, though, so maybe helmets weren't a thing. I don't know. Or they had like a display-only helmet. Remember when helmets first became mandatory? Wayne Gretzky wore a helmet that was every bit as protective as a plastic bowl. It was just like a plastic bowl with a chin strap. With Gordie Howe, he played for so long that... I'm not thinking of Gordie Howe. I'm just talking about anybody who played in that era

where you didn't have to have a helmet. They allowed them to grandfather in to where it was like, hey, if you were in the league in 1972, you don't have to listen to this rule. And so a bunch of people who were in the league before then were like, well, fuck this, I'm not wearing a helmet. Like, no. And so it and so a bunch of people who are in the league like before then were like well fuck this i'm not wearing a helmet like no and so it's just a bunch of older men skating out like i i can't imagine not wearing a helmet in that sport that's so fucking stupid especially as a goalie they didn't wear masks until like the 60s when the first goalie tried

to make a mask jacques plant for the montreal canadians tried to make a mask where he poured plaster over his face you know the scary jason style masks he tried to make a mask where he poured plaster over his face. You know, the scary Jason style mask. He tried to make one of those. And his coach was like, fine, you can wear that for one game. Because like a couple games previous, he'd been hit in the face and fractured a bunch of facial bones and whatnot. Like if you look at this guy's face, it looks like he was in a Japanese internment camp. Get damn near. And he wore it. And the next game, his coach was like, take that off.

Like, no, you can't see the puck good enough, and we need you to win. And eventually he was just like, no. Like, no, I'm going to literally die probably if I go out there again without it. So I'm going to wear it. And then he kind of paved the way for protective gear. At the risk of retelling stories, I had the opposite effect. For me, it wasn't a helmet. It was a cage.

A visor. Not just a visor. I had the wire cage that, players wear and um yeah i first i needed it then i went into a league i guess first i didn't need it then i went into a league that required it i went into another league that didn't so i took it off again you know because i'm a real man and i realized that like i spent so much attention to making sure i wasn't getting hit with sticks pucks etc like half my game was like being defensive almost and uh you put the cage on and and let's say for example you're up against the boards and we're just beer league hockey players like sometimes you fall or

whatever i'm on my knees still playing right still trying to get the puck out you know to my other defenseman or whatever if i don't have a on, I'm on my knees protecting my face. And it's like I can play better with a cage on. So that sold it for me. You watch them do that in the NHL where it's just like, man, that guy's going down to block a shot with no mask on from like two feet away from an NHL defenseman. And it's like, yeah, that's a lot easier decision to make if you're like,

you know, if my face is totally ruined, they're going to take care of me. It's not like you're a random accountant who gets blasted on a Thursday night and the next morning you're talking at your presentation to a lawyer and everybody's pissed at you because they're like, why in God's name is he playing hockey? But, yeah, it's good. Sorry, Kyle. I'm glad you got your break in there for the hockey chat.

Did I miss? Weren't we going to talk about the hockey uniforms and the pants not giving enough coverage and the bruises the guys are getting? We weren't going to talk about the hockey uniforms and the pants not giving enough coverage and the bruises the guys are getting? We weren't going to talk about some hockey minutia? No, we're going to go over to UFC minutia. That's what he's talking about. I've got a couple of fun topics.

This guy masturbated through a letterbox opener in England. Who among us hasn't done that? Don't turn your nose up. Special delivery! The article, and it says he told people that it was a spontaneous thing because he got caught on closed caption,

or closed circuit TV, rather, where he was pleasuring himself in one of those mail slots. And he said it was spontaneous. I guarantee to make it so that a bunch of other people on his route didn't suddenly start smelling the floor in front of their doors seeing if it was a little bleachy because you know a couple of indistinct stains because this

is not a spontaneous thing no one has ever spontaneously who's not already like given forethought been like i'm gonna masturbate into this male hole no one's ever done that that's why they call it the male hole you know that nice slit but yeah it's not not yeah have you guys ever done tried to do something weird like that like i was in my car uh with my tesla and i was trying i was like the supercharger right and like i'm supercharging it's really late at night there's no one around and i had this water bottle okay it was empty and i really had to piss okay there's no there's there's like no bathrooms around so i'm like fuck it i'm gonna piss in this water bottle okay seems like a normal thing but like i'm taking my pants off in the car and i'm like this is the weirdest thing i've ever done and it's like i'm gonna remember this for the rest of my life i'm gonna think this

is such a fucking disgusting and what if someone walked by and I just had my pants off? And I also was thinking, like, what if there's a security cam and they, like, check the footage from that night and see some guy taking his pants off trying to piss in a water bottle? Because I really had to go. I mean, I was... I had to drive back. What's up? You took your pants off? It's easier just to... Yeah, yeah, I was... No, no, no. Well, I was

wearing, like, shorts on. Like a seven-year-old where he just drops into his ankles. Like Butters. No, I didn't just fall to the floor. Like, I didn't take them all the way out. wearing like shorts on seven year old where he just drops like butter like george he's taking his shirt off no matter how many times you walk into a bathroom as an adult when you see that six-year-old standing there just bare ass always like oh where is your dad like what if i were a creep? You're just standing there, doing the butters thing. Basically naked. A child naked being in the bathroom.

I'm not taking my pants completely off. Who the hell does that? I was just saying, just let my dick loose in the car in public. It's just like, fuck that. I don't want anyone seeing me. I have pissed in the car in public it's just like fuck that like i don't want anyone seeing me you know i have this in the car on so many occasions um like i routinely have to make this

drive to the atlanta airport to pick people up and it's it's the sort of drive that you make with like all right if i leave in 10 minutes that'll be just perfect and i sort of like time this drive just right and so there's no time to stop and pee and if you're like going through atlanta traffic then the process of getting off the interstate finding an exit finding a bathroom and getting back on is 15 minutes minimum like like in best case scenarios so like i've peed so many times in the traffic like one hand on the wheel one hand like sticking the head of my cock in like a Gatorade bottle or something like that, like whatever I can find. Sometimes when I start that drive, I go to the gas station to get myself

a beverage for this two, you know, four hour round trip drive or whatever. I will get myself a Gatorade with the thought process going in that like, this is much easier to piss in than a water bottle. Like this is where I'll pee if i have to go and like so many times i've gotten the airport a little bit too early i just go in the parking garage piss in the parking garage in a cup or something pour it right out my door just big puddle of piss right there in the park i don't care i don't leave like three minutes early and pee i i have to pee then this is new pee i Pee before I go. I make some more pee before I get there,

and that has to go somewhere now. It's not like I was like, all right, I really got to go, but let's leave now. I pee before I go, but there's just more pee to be peed. To be had, yeah. Yeah.

I remember while I'm driving, I would be so nervous. I wouldn't be able to piss. I'm pretty shy with that, too. I don't really like going to urinals and stuff in public if i have to i have to but if i was driving like going 60 miles an hour on the expressway and just pissing at the same time i could never imagine myself doing that you have to just focus on the road and let that be natural just like it'll take care of itself it knows what it's doing like you just drive the car and everything will be okay. I've never had to do that.

I have done. I've been stuck in traffic. Oh, I've done it. This was D.C. traffic. So it's like I hadn't moved in 40 minutes. There might have been an accident. I don't know. And I was like, all right, I'm going to.

I made a beeline for, like, the woods. But there were no woods that nearby. So, like, it was just obvious. Like, I'm walking and walking and walking there's a whole like there's nothing else to watch i in my head i've got an audience of like 150 people then i'm headed into the woods and it's winter time and and there's no leaves or so i'm like i guess i gotta go deeper into the woods if i'm looking for any privacy and deeper and deeper and i'm like what if traffic? I'm a good like 400 yards from my car at this point.

Jesus. And I'm just like, so then I pee, and I'm sure people were like, oh, yeah, right there, I guess. And then I walk back. It's like a walk of shame. Like everyone knows I just peed in the woods. When you got to go, you got to go. I don't judge people when I see them doing that sort of thing.

I don't think less when I see somebody vomiting on the side of the road. Whatever. If you gotta go, you gotta go. And yeah, there was a time when maybe I would just be like, ah, what am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? But now I'm just like, oh, I know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna bring a fucking Gatorade bottle.

And I'm gonna piss in the car. I wouldn't judge if I felt like they made the effort. Like, I made a lot of effort. But if they made an immediate effort, you know, to get, like, 15 feet into the woods and pee there, like, all right. He tried. You know, he didn't just whip it up. As long as I don't see your cock, you know, you just park. And, you know, you can pee right against your own tire.

And even then, even if you were to say pee way too close to other people and they could see your dick, they don't have to look. Ah, that's easy. Now, that's how you end up being a convicted sex uh offender you know of course i'm talking about convenience of peeing you don't want them to see your cock or then you're a pedophile that's how it works that is a silly law it is it's one that is often enforced against men and that's the reason why i don't like peeing in public because i'm scared like what if like a police comes by this they see me just my cock out just pissing like i don't want to get in trouble for that like i'm like explain that to my parents pull your pants up from your ankles really quick

and just make a beeline for it and where is there a supercharger where there isn't a bathroom like that's a thing yeah well i was there at like 3 a.m., so it's like the Tesla building itself is going to be locked. Oh. Yeah, but they have like these cameras. Your audio went out again. Lost you. Well, this seems like a good time to tell everyone about Seeso. Okay. Seeso is the place for comedy.

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This is a game. I'll be cheating. So, you know, I won't lose. Fuck. Yeah. Whatever.

Oh, hockey trivia. So what we have to do is we have to come up with the name of a movie that without alteration could be the name of a porn. Oh, that's easy. Alright, so we'll go... No country for old men if you spell country differently.

Alright, so we'll go... Anyone else would have been okay. Kyle, that was a great answer, but you're diagonally from Taylor. So, Taylor, me, Kyle, and then Scarce. So I'm going to go with Big. Kyle, you can use Blow again.

Now, Scarce? I really don't know. No, you have to make it through one round. Snatch, maybe? Oh, I love it. Snatch, nicely played. Django Unchained Toy Story oh

That's a good one, and you can't do sequels you can't say Toy Story You go all day cuz we know those kind of movies. They've got you know Toy Story 50 Revenge of Buzz oh Kyle little big kids little big kids is better Oh, yeah. Kyle? Little Big Kids. Little Big Kids? Is that a movie? The Big Lebowski. I'll use that one.

Oh. All right. I like that. Next is Taylor. Little Women. I'm going to go with... Oh, I had it all queued up. Oh, Wreck-It Ralph.

Oh. That's pretty good. Well, not so oh yeah you yeah yeah um uh kyle is next what movies do i have you gotta have a good one kyle five Five. Oh, Kyle, you're next. Is it on me? Yes. Yes.

Oh, Easy Rider. Okay. Taylor? It would be a gross one, but maybe Blood Diamond. Oh, interesting, because mine was, there will be blood. So there you go. go yeah yours is better oh i'm cheating so they're gonna be all pretty good um kyle's next five four three two one all right taylor you and i the oh wait oh is it on me pretty innuendo i

thought we're waiting on taylor deep impact i'm just staring like well taylor really can't come I'm sorry. Now it's my turn. Oh. Oh. I'm trying to think of... Little Mermaid doesn't quite work. Oh. Five, four... No, it does. Yeah. No, it doesn't work.

I don't think if you stretch it that far, every movie works. Five, four... Yeah. I have one. I'll pipe it. It's not my turn in a bit. Triple X. That seems okay.

How about Zootopia if you're into bestiality? Maybe. That's one. Maybe. That's a very niche one. Kyle? Five. No shame.

You actually won considering i cheated four i was gonna say gone in 60 seconds not a great porn but how about wolf of wall street good porno movie. Yeah, maybe so. Sausage Party kind of is a porn. Alright, so that was my topic. Does anyone else have one? We could look at these Thai fighters fighting for their freedom. These Thai fighters?

What are you saying? So here's this article. Oh, Thai people, not Thai fighters. Well, they look like they're both. I thought you were going to go... I thought you were going into a... In TIE prisons.

I know, I thought you were going into a Star Wars topic. Oh, no, not TIE fighters. Oh, that kind of TIE fighter. I see. I see. Yeah, so... Fuck, basically... These TIE fighters are fighting for their fucking freedom.

I was hearing about this on the radio the other day. I think she was doing a whole series about this competition and what the deal is and everything. And they were following this guy who had mixed martial arts training before he went to prison. And he had been in a gang or something, stabbed a man and killed him. And he's doing like 20 years in prison, but he's won like a couple dozen fights in a row. So they're like, he wins his next one, he's free. And, you know, his aspirations are to be a professional fighter. You know, it's not get back into the gang and stab some more people.

It's like, ah, I'm the baddest man in the Thai prison. I'll be, maybe I can get into the UFC or something like that, I guess. Yeah. This doesn't seem like, I mean, incentivizing your best and most powerful prisoners away to escape, it seems like an oversight. So they must have some real bad jail crowding issues. If they're like, what do we do to get rid of this?

I don't know, fight them. Maybe one or two will die. That'll fix a problem, I guess, with betting. But, you know, just release the winner. To me guy that why the hell would you want to release that guy might be my last choice for who to put on the streets yeah exactly exactly like the person's the most aggressive like why the hell would you want him to be released like there's literally no point yeah have it be like sign up here if you want to get in a brutal street fight no holds barred rules and then everybody who signs up it it's like a Shyamalan twist

of like, aha, no, none of you. None of you. And then everybody who didn't sign up, who's like in the library doing Shawshank Redemption things, like talking to birds and reading books, then you let them free. Alright, well let's flip the script a little bit. So to us, obviously, because it's a combat

sport, maybe that's a bit off-putting, but keep in mind, it's Thailand. So fucking Muay Thai fighting is their baseball. So let's transpose that. Oh, yeah, of course. It's huge. Your best Thai fighter is maybe like our best baseball player or football player or something. He's a bit of a celebrity.

So let's transpose that onto our prison system. What if we had basketball nba like basketball or baseball uh games and we found this fucking all-star and everybody was like yeah we got to get him in the nba he's wasted talent he's redeemed himself clearly and his three-point shot is on i mean look at that you know you got to let him out right yeah i mean look these guys have lifetime sentences right They're murderers. Maybe on a furlough program or something, let him shoot a few threes, go back to his cell. What are you going to do?

You shoot 60% from the three-point line today, another six months off that sentence. That's how this shit fucking works. They've told me, like I was listening to the guy, he's the one who made the series he's the one who's flying to thailand and filming this stuff and interviewing the fighters i think it's on showtime i'm gonna purchase it or buy it or whatever i need to do to watch the whole thing but um it seems really cool to me it seems like a way for them to because it's not like it's some sort of like fight to the death sort of dirty thing like like these guys aren't just the toughest guys in the prison. They're the most focused, most hardworking guys in the prison

if you're this incredibly skilled TIE fighter. I think it's helping them refocus their lives and get things back together. I think it's really cool. What better motivation as a fighter than your fucking freedom? I can't imagine anything better than that. We watch the UFC because there's so much

at stake but all that's at stake is cash and shame in the end and pride i guess you know yeah not your whole life in jail you know a lot of the time you know if you're on that main card even if you go out there and get demolished you're walking away with several hundred thousand dollars you know and you'll get another fight most likely you didn't get to the main card by accident. This guy, he loses his next fight. He gets to stay in prison some more. Yeah. I was telling jokes, but I actually agree.

And to succeed in martial arts takes a lot of discipline. You don't usually see a lot of black belts just walking around beating people up because they can. A lot of times the guys that can, they don't have any motivation to just get into street fights and stuff it I don't know I really would like to know more about their crime before I stab the one in particular they were talking about it was like a somebody he stabbed a guy and it was so it's he died yeah he killed the man he murdered a man in some sort of a street altercation related to gang activity If you murdered someone you should not be able to fight your way to freedom that is not real good

Why don't they like just let them take tests like like the bar or something like like like big? Test and then you can actually get out why the hell is that to be fighting? If you pass your CPA exam then suddenly you're out of jail that's not a terrible idea is that what is that what they do to reinforce though is like oh you know get uh i don't know become like a lawyer or something and then you can you can be free like why do you have to fight your your way to uh you know freedom so they could just be like all right sum young lee here is the california bar best of luck and he could be like, all right, Seungyong Lee, here is the California bar. Best of luck.

And he could be like, I didn't receive any training for this. And it's like, well, yeah, we're not trying to let a lot of people escape. You're going to have to get pretty lucky on this. Yeah. A lot of people who went to school for this don't pass.

So you don't speak English great. So you have a little chance you're going to pass the bar. Scantron. Yeah, good luck. You're going to fill in the bubble that corresponds with the following no you don't put an x in it look at the diagram you fill it in all the way or i could misread it and i'm not gonna be responsible for your shoddy

bubbling technique oh i was always very very careful with my bubbles and scantrons talk to scares for a second dude what was it like when the biggest players on youtube were all pimping your channel oh yeah yeah so i got like a uh like over a million subs a month layout went down i don't know this whole story let me like what is it yeah so like uh so basically like this happened in like june of last year or yeah i guess last year and um i i don't know i was just my channel was doing really well still making like a million views of video but um there was like a uh a bunch of people that like that you know you know leafy is and great andre uh they they came to me they're like dude uh we're thinking about making a video telling

everyone to subscribe to you um and to unsubscribe to keemstar okay like you know drama alert um and i i basically was just like no don't do it because i didn't want them to do it in the first place because i was just thinking like this is just going to cause so much drama for me in the long run like later on i know i'm going to get a bunch of shit for this and to be honest that actually did kind of happen um but they told me like dude we're gonna pimp out your channel we're gonna get you a ton of subscribers and they they did it I mean I told them not to do it but they still did it which is awesome and you know but I got like a ton of fucking subscribers I remember like one day I made like over 200,000 subs and it was just the most incredible thing ever like I was yeah and the

problem with that is it's like now it's like now now it's like with money it's like nowadays it's like if I get a ton of subscribers it doesn't really matter to me and it kind of sucks because it kind of took all the fun out of that where it's like I like growing my channel on my own I didn't like other people just shouting me out and stuff but I mean it's insane it was like a million subs in one month or something like it was incredible um and I I've never seen a paycheck like that and I don't think ever will see a paycheck like that for the rest of my life like that was just incredible um and and my family didn't even realize yeah my family didn't even realize that my dad would always be like okay john you're gonna be a fucking garbage man you grow up right and once i started making

serious money now he's like constantly calling me and stuff and and it's like it's funny to see how your parents kind of like they don't take any of the YouTube stuff seriously until you actually get a big paycheck, which is completely fine with me because I understand. Um, cause I dropped out of college and I was only making like $5,000 a month, which is still not bad money. Right. But, um, they were so scared for me. They're like, you know, dropping out of college, uh, you know, it's going to ruin a lot of things for you. If you go back to college next year, you're not going to be with your peers. And when I eventually did it, I don't know,

I just winged it, and it worked out so well. And I feel like most YouTubers aren't gaining a ton of subscribers right now. I feel like my channel's already plateaued, and it's kind of just gone downhill at this point. I feel like that happens with every YouTuber, though. Every single YouTuber, they have a point in channel exactly and it's like the thing is with

youtube's algorithm it'll stop recommending those videos to people um so it's like nowadays it's like i barely gain subscribers every day because it's just like i don't know i lose a ton of subscribers and i gain a bunch of subscribers and it's just youtube isn't recommending my channel as much anymore um and the only people I really see growing a ton right now on YouTube are people who like upload a ton like they upload like five videos a day like and they you know they have the most clickbait

titles and thumbnails to try to get and everyone's recommended and I feel like those are the only people who are really growing right now on YouTube and PewDiePie's growing. How much did PewDiePie grow after that whole Wall Street Journal thing? I'm sure someone kept track of it. Yeah, he got like 100K subs in one day. And, you know, he's doing insane right now.

Definitely his best month in a long time. I don't know. PewDiePie's making ridiculous views. I mean, this dude's making like 6 million views a video. And I never thought that would even be possible on YouTube because he's just uploading every single day and making consistent 6 million views. It's pretty incredible. It really is. What's incredible has changed

too. It used to be incredible if someone got a million views every video. That was incredible. A million views was kind of my mark for what viral is. If you got a million views, you went viral. Now, there are a lot of channels who just get a million views every video. I was getting 2 million views consecutively for

a couple months there. I double uploaded. I uploaded twice in a day and both those videos made a million views every video. I was getting two million views consecutively for like a couple months there. And I double uploaded. I uploaded twice in a day and both those videos made two million views. And like, it was incredible. Yeah, but everyone has like, my videos nowadays make like 700,000 to a million views. So, I mean, it's still good,

but it's like, I'm never really, I'm never going to hit that again. You know what I mean? It kind of sucks because I feel like that happens with every single YouTuber. It's like your personality kind of wears out it's like and people really enjoy it and then it's like eventually people lose interest with every youtube channel i like you have ideas for like a post youtube thing like something to launch into

like something else keep your interest yeah i have a ton of money saved like the the biggest purchase i made maybe was like the tesla and then like I'm leasing a house right now um but that's really it I have a ridiculous amount of money saved and my uh uncle is like a big uh Wall Street investor and he's like uh helping me out with like you know things to invest in and stuff and I don't know I just know that I'm never going to spend enough money to where I kind of feel scared about like oh shit am I gonna have enough money to pay for a college you know to pay for college now or something because I'm definitely gonna go back to college I kind of feel scared about like, oh shit, I'm going to have enough money to pay for a college, you know, to pay for college now or something. Cause I'm definitely going to go back to college. I mean, I'm not going to be, but I just feel like I'm always going to have enough money. You don't see yourself like retiring afterward. You see it more like, all right, I'll just be able to do whatever job I want and whatever I do make is just

gravy, but I just want to make sure I'm doing something I like, even if it's, I'm making 20 grand a year or whatever. Yeah. And I also woody's advice and i uh invested in the smp um and it's it's been doing really well the problem is i'm so young and it's like uh you know like my account wanted me to invest in like a roth ira and it's like you know i'm i'm like really fucking young right now it's gonna be another 40 years until i'm able to take that money out you know what i mean so long time yeah so it's just it's really hard to do that but i've done it a little bit and apparently it's gonna be like 50 million dollars or something by the time i can take it out but i don't know i'm just gonna wait and see 40 years from now that'll be enough to buy a tesla 8

exactly yeah that'll be enough to wheelbarrow it to the bread line by then. It'll keep us warm in the winter. I wonder what it would cost to get Grade A and Leafy and Pyrotech or whatever to do what they did for you. I'm sure it's not for sale, but everything's for sale. There are kingmakers in YouTube who can just mention someone in an outro and make them rich and i don't know the fact that that's funny a king maker right there there's a controllable lottery that these king makers have and they can just say hey you know like i don't like this this is a guy you'd like who did um uh there was just a huge takedown recently. Oh, it was of some girl. I don't know.

iDubbbz just took down some girl. Help me. You must know. Yeah. If he had said an alternative to her, like, oh, you should subscribe to this person instead, he would have knighted her queen. I guess you don't knight queens, but whatever.

Like, I don't know. It's interesting to get kind of... Yeah, I'm not Britishish i don't know what the fuck i guess you hit him with a sword i don't know what the fuck a lord of all ladies so definitely the best way to get subscribers is if you know someone's really fucking like a horrible person you act like they're a horrible person you tell them okay this is a better alternative this person's nicer that's like the best way to get someone subscribers there's another way i don't even know if i want to say it on the show but uh like people are buying publicity and

i thought that was really interesting like they're buying advertising for their videos and they can just sort of make themselves go viral and as you know like sometimes it just lamborghini guy it wasn't him um but like there are people who make good videos on youtube who are getting like 6 000 views or whatever and they just need to be pumped you know like yeah there's like there's a guy i discovered let me let me let me just run with it so tucker got he makes paramotor videos and um really they are like edited at like a casey nystat level almost and he usually has music good music which i could never seem to find when i was making a lot of vlogs and uh he went uh like he got real high rated on reddit or something at like a half million view videos and this guy who spent a year at less than 5 000 subs is at like 35 000 over four weeks and uh

i know you know 35 000 isn't a big number to the you know some by percentage that's an enormous growth though yeah that's what you're saying and the thing is he's growing like you know 2 000 subs a day which again seems small but like when i was working my way to a million like that's what i was getting, like 1600 subs a day. 2000 subs a day is really nice. Yeah. Yeah. He's getting it.

You don't get 2000 subs a day right now. Ah, my channel has been kind of like a, kind of just a downhill slope right now. Uh, it's just cause I'm not uploading as much, not putting as much effort into it. Um,

cause like you said, like after you make all the subscribers, it's kind of hard for you to have that passion again, to like really want to grind out videos and stuff i mean that was like the the most fun ever on youtube when it is when you have like a small amount of subscribers you're just grinding out videos and you're making a ton of growth and you might not be making a ton of money but you're just happy to see more and more people commenting every day and i'll never have that passion again i'm sure you guys won't either i mean i feel like it it's like the same shit happens for me. What was,

so I worked a day job, right. And I worked for there a long time. And a lot of young people maybe don't have the experience of having a job that you have to have, right? Like this is a job where if I lose it, bad shit happens, right? Like people lose healthcare, you know, houses, like just bad shit happens if I lose this job. So I was always working to, like, impress my peers, impress my boss. And not that I was ever at risk. I just felt a little oppressed. Like, every morning I'd go to work, and the side of the building, I'd walk past dumpsters to get in,

and it was this big concrete mirrored glass thing. And, like, it was my personal hell walk, you know, just like, oh, my God god here i go into this place all the cubes um the fabric was the color of like a dirty dishrag and um like that was the environment that i worked in like all day all the time this and um when youtube was sort of booming it was like man like i i talked earlier on the show how I would work for like nine months over time, like every day to like 8 p.m., 9 p.m., 10 p.m. Just working, like really driving important projects and get like a $2,000 bonus. I was thankful for it.

And then on YouTube, like you're earning that every day. You upload a video, you make $2,000 off of it. Yeah. Well, my videos didn't get as many views as like the current stars got, you know, but I was getting like at my peak, I do a quarter million views a video and I do like two videos a day. And, um, you know, then I've got a really, I had a pretty nice long tail cause I make a lot of videos. I've got like almost 3000 videos. And,000 videos. And I don't know.

It was just like here at work, if I do really well, I'll get like a 3% raise. And I didn't get a raise last year. So that's like in two years, a 3% raise. Meanwhile, on YouTube, I'm growing at like 1.6% daily. Because I think a lot of people don't realize that they could just work for themselves. And when you work for yourself, it's like you're making your own dreams come true. If you work for someone else, you're making their dreams come true. And it's like with my staff

that work for me, I pay them really well. I have this one guy in Mexico right now. He lives in Sonora, Mexico. This dude's making almost six digits a year. Okay, this dude is balling out right now. His family doesn't know about his money. He's like 24 25 he has a degree but like most people in mexico have degrees they can't get any jobs any work nothing but this

dude like he's not even telling his family about the money he's making he's keeping it all secret because they would just steal all of his money um but he uh but he's like i mean he's saving up right now he's gonna buy a nice ass house like around mexico city um but it's like the thing is is i realized that i could pay this guy so much less like like most of. But it's like, the thing is, is I realized that I could pay this guy so much less, like, like most of my staff, I pay like a very small fraction of what I'm actually making. And that's what most bosses do, because you're the boss, right? You don't want to pay them, you know, a ridiculous amount of money, because it's like, you could just get anyone to really do that job for you. So I feel like you really should, if you really want to

have freedom and you want to be, you know, be flexible, have your own hours and stuff, you should just do your own thing, you know, start a YouTube channel or something. But I know with a lot of people, it's not that easy, you know, and I worked a few minimum wage jobs. I didn't actually work, you know, because I'm too young. I didn't actually work anywhere where it was like I had to work there. I just worked there for some extra cash or something to buy some weed, you know. But, you know, so I understand where you're coming, well, I don't understand where you're coming from, Woody. And I think it's actually, it's pretty awful. Like, I feel like working a job where you're just working nine to five, it's just like, you have no freedom, you have to stay there, you have to work, you have to work overtime,

you're working for pennies, basically. It's awful. And honestly, I don't know if I could be able to do that now at this point. Like, if you told me I had to work a nine're working for pennies basically it's awful and honestly i don't know if i could be able to do that now at this point like if you told me i had to work an out-of-five job right now i would get so depressed i'd probably kill myself i'm not even joking like that type of shit just seems so awful like to me right now because i'm just so used to this uh and i feel like for most of you guys it just seems pretty awful if you i wonder about that like there are a lot of um actually a big chunk of the people who super thrive on YouTube are super young so unless they're you know like quibble cop smart and invest it never have to work again or maybe you too it sounds like you're doing great

it's like man these guys are just ruined like you know I know this one guy who like bought a Bugatti and he didn't pay his taxes that year because most of these small entertainers I talk to they don't even realize they have to pay taxes and it's like I'm like dude so you didn't pay tax last year and he's like no it's not that big a deal no one's gonna know I'm like bro you gotta be kidding me and and this guy you know he made like a million dollars that year yeah it's like I have to it's like tax are ridiculous too I have to pay like half a million in taxes this year it's fucking incredible and it's like this dude just bought a bugatti he didn't even it's just it's so stupid i absolutely uh but it's a lot of these young entertainers they don't realize that they have to

you know save up you have to pay your taxes you really don't make as much money as you think you're making you make like a very small fraction of that to be honest it's like every time uh it's like every time you hear about like uh this nfl player got like got his 10 million dollar signing bonus or his million dollar signing bonus for a entry-level contract or whatever and they immediately go out and buy a 700 000 house and a 250 000 car and then like an accountant comes by and is like yeah so uh you just spent a huge sum of money that you don't technically have uh so you really from that million had about 530 000 of it that you could have and the rest was taxed or whatever it would be depending on where they are and yeah it that's something that they need to teach you in school better

like i know you should have a mandatory class on that i heard you say that before murka and i was like this is so true because like yeah if if i didn't have if i didn't learn about fucking trigonometry in school and they changed that class with like how to do your taxes that would be so much more helpful in life like i don't know i feel like they should have a mandatory class where you should learn how to do your own taxes i've never had to calculate the circumference of a circle and i've had to do taxes many times and like when i go to my accountant it's not like they're showing it to me and i'm like ah yes oh a thing that you may have overlooked man it's not like they're showing it to me and I'm like, ah, yes. Oh, a thing that you may have overlooked, man. It's just like, I guess I trust you.

Like, okay. Please don't fuck me. Here's all my finances. Charge me whatever you think. So the things about taxes that I'm trying to get out is like, it's a big thing. It's like a third to like 40% of your income if you're making a lot. It's a big thing. It's like a third to like 40% of your income if you're making a lot.

And especially if you're not going to earn that next year, now you have this liability out there. And you might think, well, there's a slim chance I'm getting caught, right? What is it, 5% for someone on a high income? Yeah. Do that for five years in a row. And all of a sudden, there's like a real chance. Do that for 10 years in a row. You owe a billion dollars now. Yeah, right.

Now you owe like a million. And you for 10 years in a row. You owe a billion dollars now. Yeah, right now, you owe like a million. And you don't get out of taxes. Like, that's, like, you might get out of credit card debt, declare bankruptcy or whatever. Like, the government doesn't play that shit. They just, like... They just wait. Just garnish your wages. We'll just take half of what you earn until you die.

Or they put you in prison. Look at Richard Hatch. Now, there's a guy who made a million dollars, one straight shotty, won Survivor Season 1. Didn't pay his goddamn taxes on that money. What are you thinking, Richard? You just won a million dollars on the most popular reality show of all time. You're a goddamn star for winning

one million dollars. Pay that fucking tax. He didn't pay it, he went to prison. Yeah, yeah. He didn't have any other choices. He didn't have the cash. I think you have to ditch out on a lot of taxes before they send you to jail. A billion dollars does it, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Because usually, yeah, they'll do what he said. Yeah, I really wouldn't want people in jail to know that, like, I really wouldn't want other people in prison to know that, like, the reason why I'm there is because I didn't pay my taxes because then I would get raped. Because, like, honestly, like, everyone else is there for, like, murdering someone. It's like you're there for not paying your fucking taxes.

I don't know. I just feel like you'd be such a part of it. So you're thinking they might take a good hard look at you and be like, I don't know, better not rape him. He might be a rough customer. And I don't think I want to find out. What about you, Jake Vaughn? No, not me either.

That conversation never happened. Yeah, I just act crazy in prison. If I wanted to get away from getting raped, I just act like the pain doesn't hurt or some shit like that because that's the only way I feel like you can actually get away from getting raped. We don't even mind it! Oh, this boy!

Yeah, I think you'd be fine as long as you didn't beat someone to death on the way to not paying your taxes. You'd just go into tax evasion jail, right? That's not like that's a thing, but they don't put you... Tax evasion jail, right? You go in there,

hell, you end up coming out with your fucking CPA and some tax advice, right? You know, like you're in there with a bunch of guys who are also hiding their money and shifting it around. You know what? Who knows? Amongst that group, maybe you're the big fish in the small pond, and the potential rapee becomes the rapist. Yeah, you never know.

Hopefully not. Maybe you could throw some rape down, you never know. Or it could go down like in the first episode of Oz where you go in severely underestimating how intense it's going to be and then all of that shattered in the first half hour all right do you think i don't think that would happen with any of us because we all have this like crazy fear and like these expectations of prison i think if i had to like you know bet i would guess that prison isn't as bad as we think it is yeah have you guys seen that one youtuber the the after prison show guy um i gave him a shout out maybe uh what's up is his name hard eight times uh no his name is after prison show he has like a hundred thousand subs and he um and he makes videos about prison all the time and he basically says that like well he didn't go for like he

didn't murder a bunch of people he just went for like seven years because he was like apparently he was like uh dealing coke i think and um and he says that it's not like that like you don't have to really worry about dropping yourself unless you're like super vulnerable you are you act super vulnerable that then you're gonna have to worry about that but he says it's not really that big a deal there's a guy that has a coke connection is gonna do better right the heartache guy he also went to prison and uh i'll say because it's relevant at least his voice sounds like a tough black guy like that that's my impression of him i've never seen him but he's a gamer so i don't know what he looks like and uh he told a bunch of scary stories of like prison riots and

shit and how he got a shank and and um somebody left like a snickers on his bed and if he takes it now he's like indebted to him. And he had to give it back. And they were wrestling. And he told the stories with detail that made it sound like it was really true. Like the wrestling fighting thing. He didn't win. I just got really hungry when you mentioned that Snickers.

He's like, you know, yeah, I wrestle with someone. And that person has a way of getting getting you know the better position and such like that's what this guy did he just he managed to you know flip he told one story where i think i remember that where he uh like there was some guard he was talking to and he overheard the guards talking about like marital problems they were having because of money or some shit and so he went over to one of the guards because i guess he had some like i think he like majored in finance or some shit and he was telling him like, I know a little trick to this that will help you. The guards got furious, like started to almost beat him.

They stopped because the other inmates liked him more. Eventually he's like, all right, we'll give you a little bit of special treatment because you're being a nice guy. We need you to help us on the roof. And so he gets all of his inmate friends. This is Shawshank Redemption. This is Shawshank Red this is shawshank redemption i wanted to see how long it didn't take long at all like i was like just talking about god damn heart eight times is a real life andy dufresne what's the fuck i was like

light years from a finance degree like this guy i remember him telling us that he said nothing tasted quite like that beer on the roof dude hardy time used to give me shit all the time he would attack me non-stop i never said a word about him i think this might be the first time i've ever mentioned him but he was one of those channels that just always fucking dogged me out of just jealousy like i never did never did shit to that guy. I love that. That was funny. I was like,

this sounds so much like Shush. What a tale this man has. Why did I never watch these videos? I thought he was a fucking scumbag thug. Turns out he had one of the greatest American stories of all time. Part of gold. You know, the worst part is he was framed for getting

They keep all through a half mile of shit and piss and he came out the other side as a free man. Wait, so how did that guy in Shawshank get thrown in prison again? Was that because he was drunk driving? His wife was cheating on him and he's

like, I'm gonna fucking do them, man. And he like goes to where they're fucking. Oh, yeah, yeah. And he changed his mind, throws the gun away and then someone else moves in, kills him and now his gun's missing and he had the motive and they just railroaded him. I feel like the time and the experience in Oz where the guy, you know, is drunk driving, he kills someone. the experience in Oz where the guy is drunk driving, he kills someone. I think that would be the only time I'd actually go to prison. If I'm so drunk and I just

don't even realize it and I just go in my car and kill someone, that would be the only time I'd ever see myself getting raped. Blame the car. You're all good with this because you have that Tesla. It's going to get you home. It was on auto drive. Yeah.

I think that that's got to be one of the nicer things, I think, about a self-driving car. I'm glad to hear from someone who's, like, got one and has this experience because they really do tout it as autopilot. Like, take me to Walmart. But, I mean, it is a lifesaver. I mean, it's like if you're really tired and you want to just get some extra sleep, if it's bumper-to-bumper traffic, you could just use it. And, like, I've never worried about it. I've never even worried one second about me getting killed from it but it's

just like uh the thing is is like mercedes is coming out in 2018 they're coming out with an autopilot feature in their car everyone's trying to i guess like copy it now um but it's kind of annoying because every time you're using the autopilot like every five minutes it'll give you a little warning saying you have to put your hands on the wheel because like legally you kind of annoying because every time you're using the autopilot, like every five minutes, it'll give you a little warning saying you have to put your hands on the wheel. Because like legally, you kind of have to have your hands on the wheel. So that part's kind of annoying. So I wouldn't recommend just like all out going to sleep because it'd probably stop the car in the middle of the expressway. But it's actually really good if you're like using your phone or, I don't know, just doing anything in traffic especially.

I drove a lesser car with like an autopilot. It just sort of helped you stay in the lane and slow down if you caught another car in cruise control. But if you took your hands off the wheel for even a second, like it wouldn't work anymore. Like I don't know how it's much better with the Mercedes, the new one that's coming out, the new Mercedes, it's going to be really bad with that. Apparently it's going to have like a thing that tells you to put your hands on the wheel every couple seconds. So it's like, screw that. That's not even worth it. Because it's like, I want to be able to just sit down and just let my car drive for me, which is what I do on my Tesla. I mean, the only thing that I really

like about the Tesla, though, is the acceleration. That's the thing that me and my friends love. It feels like a spaceship. Like, I think it's zero to 60 in like 3.5 seconds or something and it's actually a really fast car like and it just looks like a sedan um it looks like a nice car but it doesn't look like it's a sports car but like i uh i was racing a corvette to be honest i don't know if i actually was racing him maybe he was just going a normal speed limit i really don't know but i completely destroyed this guy like how fast he didn't even it was like he didn't know he was racing it was like like he wasn't even trying it's like next level acceleration like no other car could beat it but it you know it's definitely a definitely a great car the one thing that sucks about it though and the one thing that

you should kind of be wary of is the range it's like you take it out and you drive it for one day maybe for a couple hours and the like it's literally it goes from 250 miles to zero within like only 50 miles if they advertise it like uh the car has 250 miles on it but in reality if you're going over the speed limit like if you're going over 60 miles an hour then like literally you can only drive like 50 miles of the car and it'll be done so it's actually for like a road trip or would that be impossible? Yes. Yeah. A road trip is just basically impossible.

Like I heard one guy saying, well you can't go to Northern Michigan with a Tesla because it's like, you know, you wouldn't be able to get back because the car wouldn't have, you know, I will, I guess actually if you brought like an outlet and you had like a house up there,

you'd be able to do it. Like I have an outlet now in my garage and it just charges itself. But before I had to go to the supercharger every single day it was like the worst thing ever it was it was awful uh like we were regretting the purchase as you had to go there every day we're like god damn i've given myself an errand look at all these people and i just spent a thousand dollars to get an outlet put in my garage i mean like so it was pretty shitty at first but once you have an outlet put in it it should be okay it's a good car though i love it yeah i and they're only gonna get better right

like i love you i have a hard-on for that guy i fucking love him so much man i he he uh he's i i think he's an alien dude i think that you know those conspiracy theories saying that like he's talking aliens or something i don't know those there's saying that he's talking to aliens or something? I don't know. I definitely think that's possible. I don't think his technology is good enough. We're going to need some of the fancy before I start believing in aliens. People think he talks to aliens and stuff. I doubt that's true. Obviously, I don't think that's true.

How fucking underwhelming would it be if an alien came to Earth and all he had to show us was like a Tesla? Yeah. Like how humiliatingly... Everybody on Earth would have to had to show us was like a Tesla. Like how humiliatingly everybody on Earth would have to agree to pretend to be excited because the alien was here and we had to make sure they didn't just leave and feel insulted. Oh my god, like hide all the

fucking Priuses. Oh, Tesla. Wow. What else you guys got? Oh, you drove that here. Oh, you've been on the way a long time. They were slowed down because there were no outlets. So they had to keep stopped. It's been adrift the last 10 light years.

It sounds like the Tesla is a good second car. If you're going fast and it goes 50 miles, or let's assume you can get 100 if you're comfortable, you almost need a gas car too. At least I would. It's definitely not comfortable driving at the speed limit. Because the thing is, when you take your foot off the gas on the tesla it breaks so the problem with that is it's like so every time you don't have your foot on the gas it's breaking so basically

so like it just sucks because you always have to kind of accelerate with it or you have to put your foot kind of gently on the gas which cruise control right you must use that a lot yeah yeah i mean i use the autopilot all the time but like uh you know it's it's pretty annoying like trying to drive it like a normal speed like a normal streets because i'm always i always see myself going way over the speed limit uh but i thought it would be a good second car because i had like my first car still but it's been a good first car like my friend uh phase rain he has an audi r8 and i'm like an audi i mean but he has like an audi r8 and i'm like an audi i mean but he has like an audi r8 and like he only has two seats in that car and that would be a horrible first car

like to have that as is your primary car to have only two seats i was thinking about getting that but i'm like there's no way because it only has two seats like i wouldn't be able to drive my friends around i look at lotuses every now and then like uh, I forget which one I was looking at before. I was just looking at the model up. There's this guy on YouTube. He's a popular channel, like Dave DeMario, something like that. And I think you're muted, Scarce. But anyway, yeah, he just drove a Lotus recently, and I saw his video.

And I go on eBay, and there's like a 2012 looks perfect lotus for 35 000 and it's like you know i could i just could i could have like a supercar at least in the handling department it would be like they're so cool and the thing about a 2012 lotus is like i don't know about you but it looks just like a fucking 2017 Lotus. You know, right? Like they all look fucking badass with these tiny little just cool fucking badass little cars. It looks like you could pick them up. Yeah, I used to live near a dealership and I'd drive by them every day.

And they always had like the funkiest of colors as like their show pieces out in front. So it'd be like a lime green one and like some burnt orange and like a purple one. Yeah, those things are cool. You're totally right about it not mattering if it's 2012 versus 2017 for a Lotus, because it's like you don't see enough of those to know the difference. All people will see is, that's a really novel car. That's neat.

I like those little kit cars, too. I like kit cars that I see on eBay that are fiberglass shells. I don't even do Ikea. That you just stick over some cheaper, more affordable, more common chassis or common like uh chassis or something like that i like those turn like the ford focus into what looks like a really cool car but really it's just a ford focus yeah um i like i've seen the ones that are um oh what's the

um delorean uh i've always wanted a delorean uh i think those are really fucking cool um those are pretty expensive they are for sale but first the delorean's all stainless steel and i've never seen anyone do it but i've always wanted to get like stainless steel polish and a buffer and like make the delorean fucking chrome you know just sharpen it no polish it polish the polish the the entire outside of the stainless steel until it's like chrome and just have it be super shiny um i think deloreans are fucking cool that's always been a car i've wanted you need to park so much room on your sides of the delorean with those doors i'm showing it to people on youtube this one's 2011 and it's 46,000 so it's a little more than i talked about but still it just seems like this is a super car

and it's i mean yeah it looks like a corvette kind of people are paying more yeah that one does honestly with 46k that's actually so great i'm sure the car is actually shit though like i feel like i don't know i feel like load because it's such a i don't know the lotus isn't really a company i feel like it's such a small company. The car itself probably is pretty shitty, but it looks great. I mean, I've never known anyone with a Lotus. My friend was telling me, he's like, you should get a Lotus. Because my dad was telling me, get a Tesla.

My friend's like, no, get a Lotus. Because no one's going to know what that is. It's going to look so cool. It's going to be a conversation piece. But I don't know. There's not even any dealers near me. It's such a not well-known town. It's a six-speed. I bet that would be so much fun to drive. This is the kind of car

that would be really fun to take out on a racetrack. Not to race against people, but just to see what the car could do and slide it through some corners and stuff. I drove a few Porsche Boxsters, and I think maybe it's a similar size and everything. It's so much fun to be in a really small car

with a ton of power. That's cool. I think the nicest car I've ever been in is is it a Phantom? Rolls Royce Phantom? Yeah. Where I knew somebody growing up whose dad had that and it was more of

it wasn't even like hey wanna hop in and take it around and this guy that I knew was not my friend not the dad obviously it was like uh whatever fuck it kind of oh we'll we can go fuck around in his in our our pool house and throw a party he won't figure out find out or whatever even then where it's like can we can we hop in and can you take us around the block and the the phantom he'd be like i will back it out of the garage and then pull it slowly back into the garage and it was like all right that's cool like i may as well and then when you like get in it you're like oh this is like i mean i obviously didn't drive it but it seemed more like a car where it's like you as the owner you're not the driver almost where it's like someone is chauffeuring you

around so you can have like this cool like console in the back where like they keep a glass square for whiskey and stuff. Like that kind of fancy. So I don't know. If I ever was like a multi-billionaire, I feel like I'd be much more likely to pay somebody to drive me around in a cool luxury car like that. Get all my magic cards out in the back. Bring some video games. Do whatever. I could make new decks.

All I wanted in the back. I don't have to let anybody else in because it's my area. And I can obviously afford a Phantom, so I can drive around and buy a magic card. It doesn't have to be about magic. It doesn't have to be about magic. It could be, though. But it could be about magic. It should be. If you wanted it to. It will be. Speaking of that, let me tell everyone about Lyft. I'd like to

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And, uh, Lyft is exploding with popularity right now. They're, it's a neat time to be involved with Lyft. Yes, it is. The,

the, uh, the, the, uh, the tipping feature is, uh, is huge for them.

Um, you know, not some, some other services don't allow that and uh and it's definitely something that you want if you're going to be doing that and i would not allow tips doesn't make any sense to me like i would i would love to give my uber driver a tip like that's what lyft is saying and that that random no name other company that we don't talk about doesn't do that obviously but But Lyft, you keep the drivers happy, you keep

the customers happy, you got a nice new car, people are friendly and clean. You don't feel like it's a surly. Don't you feel so much more comfortable hopping into a Lyft now instead of a taxi? Just because I don't feel like taxis are so... I've never liked taxis. I've only seen people when I'm in a taxi.

I've only taken a taxi like three times. It's been a lot of tax them like i'm sorry for making you drive me to my hotel i can tell you are very surly you are the bright side you won't try and make conversation maybe a snide remark or two but that's about it they're just they seem like more normal people like with taxi drivers it's like every one of them like either doesn't speak english very well or they just they just seem like really creepy people like think about it like that like if you're a lyft driver you're doing that when you're like all right i don't have anything to do right now i think i want to make some money so you hop out and you go do it and if you get

sick of it you say fuck this i'm gonna go yeah and actually when i do have conversations with uber drivers they always seem to be really cool people but like with taxis i always feel like i'm gonna spend so much more money like i'm always scared about how much money i'm gonna spend at the end of the yeah they'll fuck you over there's there's not a lot of ways to uh to police that and they'll they'll stop at the yellow lights they'll they'll take you long ways around like i've been to so many like conventions whether it's e3 or pax or something and you know on like or or even if we go to vegas to like shot show or something and it's like a multi-day event and on day two or three you memorize your way to the convention center and your way back

so like if this motherfucker is taking you the long way around i'm immediately like uh why are we going through the loop oh uh avoid traffic it's eight in the morning like come on what are you doing to me i always must live drivers thrive and depend on their like customer satisfaction and their rating, right? And that goes two ways. Taxis just thrive on screwing you over for more money. Plus the taxi itself, it gives you that I just got arrested vibe. And taxis used to have that whole thing.

It was like, hey, we're the only game in town. You want to ride somewhere, you get in this big yellow monstrosity and talk to Abu, and maybe he'll get you there, all right? Now there's other options, and it's much better. much better yeah same thing don't shoot the driver nonsense ah yeah i want that if i'm a driver right you ever you ever like try to like i like when you gotta pay them and it's like well motherfucker if i could just hand you this money you'd get a tip but instead like yeah you take dollars and i'm gonna get the fuck out. Do you ever have it... Speaking of bulletproof glass, do you ever have it where you go

somewhere where you think is really safe? Yeah, he'll pop back in, I'm sure. But do you ever have it where you go somewhere where you think is safe, like a gas station, and then you go in and you immediately realize that it's sketchy as fuck because they're behind bars and it's not even a hole where you put the money through. It's like you put it into a well

and then they pull the drawer back. You spin the wheel and it goes around to them. It's so like what has happened here that this was precedent? What has occurred? If they buzz me into

the building, I'm like, do I really want to get into a building where I have to be buzzed in? Do you have so much problems that the door's locked during business hours? It's like Seinfeld where someone buzzes and Jerry's like, oh, who is it? He's like, UPS.

He just lets him in and then George has to be like, or Kramer, whoever. You just let a serial killer into the building, right? Of course they pretend to be like, or Kramer, whoever. You just let a serial killer into the building, right? Of course they pretend to be UPS people. That would make sense. I don't want to go into a building after you buzzed in and I don't want to get gas from a

7-Eleven where someone is behind bulletproof glass in a Kevlar vest. Because you know that it wasn't one attendant got shot. It was an amount to the point that the 7-eleven Union comes down and says this is out of control glass we're losing a lot of folks our membership is dwindling people are occurring our

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free today, and be part of the best turn-based collectible RPG. Your quest for creatures is paved with adventure. Quest on with Creature Quest. Check out Creature Quest. Quest on. Indeed. i've been uh i've been playing a ton of magic i uh i think lately what i've been buying is the dual the dual decks that

like come assembled and have their own sort of like oh this is cunning versus uh speed and you know it's a it's it's different kind of decks that are that are meant to be thrown at each other. I think I got them all now, right? I got like 12 different decks. There's a lot of them. Yeah, there's a bunch. I guess I've bought 10 or 12, though, over the last couple of weeks.

How much are they? 106 sets? Like $15 each, something like that. Okay, okay. It's not bad. You pay like $15, and you get 102 decks 60 cards in each deck and they're like ready to roll like play against each other for like quick fun

so and they're made to play against each other so it's like you know elves versus goblins or whatever you could still use those but they're made to fight each other yeah i've got the i like creatures versus heroes a lot it One deck is nothing but Hydra monsters and trolls and shit and the other one is Valiant Knights and shit like that. I kind of like that almost role-playing aspect to that

card game where I even do sound effects. When I shoot a bolt at somebody I go, and when I die, when my life total goes down to zero, I go, as I die as a character. I add a few sound effects. And when I die, like when my life total goes down to zero, I go, like as I, you know, as I die as a character. That kind of stuff is fun.

But if you like go to a Friday Night Magic and someone's in like a robe and a cape and have a staff, it's like, all right, settle down. Ah, it's Archimedes. Welcome back. Archimedes, the reigning champion of zip code 32512. The reigning champion is some Israeli guy who looks like a nerd. I've been watching a lot of the pro top-level magic on YouTube, too. That's kind of fun to watch and see.

And if you don't know a bunch about magic, it's like a good comparison. Have you ever watched cricket videos on youtube the sport cricket yeah they're like oh and it's coming in fast here the wickersham knocked into shambles there you can see the third runner scoring on the second plate oh of course we see samson samson's renowned for running into plate three right of course he makes and it's like what in god's name is fucking happening this is like baseball but more complicated that's what it's like in magic if you don't know all the keywords because those people get so excited about it we're like oh and he drops a mass calcify that's gonna destroy all non-white creatures and even though he paid the regenerate cost it's not gonna

be regenerated that's a crazy move isn't it uh eagle knight 68 or whatever fucking names they're going by. I'm sure they do real names. It's fun to watch the two guys go against each other because it's much more like chess than I thought it would be. And there's a lot of bullshit, fake-out stuff. I see one guy get his hand, and it's a very good hand. He takes a mulligan first.

He gets his second card of seven cards, and he's just like... As he flicks through them when in reality it's just like it's killer it's exactly what he fucking wants the commentators are like oh yes that's gonna flow well from this card to that card it's gonna be a chain reaction an excellent combo it's exactly what he'd hoped for oh and he's playing it up a bit to throw Marshall off. And the other guy's like, you can tell he's not buying any of it. It's like, wow.

They have a really high-level mind game they're playing here. Because they've played this before, I'm sure. And they know their shit. I saw another circumstance where one player was appearing to leave himself open for a loss. It appeared that he's saying,

kill me if you can. And then he pretends like he added the life totals up incorrectly. And he's like, and the other guy's like, aha, I win. And then he so quickly, and matter of fact, he plays his instant and is like, and it's like game over. The commentator's

like, oh, he had it! He had it! Yes, and all creatures with three life or less are dead. And this is the game. The Grand Prix finals are over. Tora, Tora is the champion of the world once again. They take it so seriously. It's really fun. They're really, really good.

Magic honestly seems like that game where you don't get judged that much if you're older i feel like if you were like like me i was really into pokemon cards when i was younger and it's like if i started playing pokemon like if i started using pokemon cards right now i would look like such an idiot but i feel like with magic it's like it doesn't really matter what age you are when you're playing it i feel like it's one of that the only kind of card games like if i if i took out my baseball cards started showing them to my friends right now they'd be like dude what the fuck man Yu-Gi-Oh they'd be like I mean I completely missed that I'm too young for it you know like when I was like in school it was like everyone had Pokemon cards I actually have a pretty funny story about that so once when I was in like I think it was like second grade or

something I had like all these Pokemon cards and they weren't really good and I was pretty poor and like I'm a triplet so like my sisters like we don't we don't really get that many cool things because it's just too many of us um and and my family that you know they have enough money to support all of us so what my dad told me to do and he had the best idea ever is i went online okay and this is like i don't know not that many people were using google because it was pretty you know i don't know i guess most people just didn't even have computers and uh and i went online i found this one image of like a dark pikachu or something yeah like 999 hp or some shit like that and i just saved that image and i literally put it on my card and i i took one of those card holder things right so that no one you know so that no one could uh you know touch it or

get too close to it and i started showing it off in school and i was the fucking man that yeah everyone was so happy and and i was like holy shit this is so cool and like my friends were like dude this is awesome like you have the best car ever and and this one kid this one fuck okay the one smart kid who like was in like magnet and stuff and he like he's always you know a little bit skeptical about everything and he's like you know that card doesn't really look real to me dude can i please take it out of the uh the card holder and i'm like no no this is my fucking card okay stop and and we got into this fight where he wanted to take out of the card holder and eventually he did and people found out it was fake and it was just it was awful everyone was like what did people say everyone was like my friends were like dude come on like for real i'm like well i got you didn't i so i feel like skeptical of all your cards but

yeah you're right about magic being like another thing is like if you're most people who are into magic are older than like the pokemon yukio crowd and i think just naturally as you get older you realize like hey i really like this nerdy as fuck card game. It brings me a lot of joy to play it. And when I am playing it, I'm never sitting at the cool table at lunch. Like, I hope they're not noticing me. It's like, no, I'm going out seeking a place to play with like-minded people who also enjoy this hobby, you know? It's a lot of fun. And I feel like it's just it's a it's a lot of fun and i feel like it's it's a bit like chess in many ways it's it's not just a silly like monsters versus dragons card like where it's thoughtless and it's just a child's game you know it's it's really high level with the strategy and with the

different ways to play um i i'm really enjoying it it's a lot of fun i like playing the xbox game yeah that's why i like those real-time strategy games. You guys got me into those, and you guys kept talking about them. I started getting really into Age of Empires. Me and my YouTube friends used to play it all the time. I was even thinking about messaging you guys once, because I heard you guys talk about your Steam name once, and I'm like, damn, I should message you guys. We should play some.

But yeah, that's why I like those games, because there's so much strategy involved and so much just, I don't know, thinking about the game, I guess. It's not like Call of Duty where you're just, like, aiming and shooting. I don't think I've played, like, either console on the PS4 or the Xbox One in months at this point. Like, ever since I got Steam and I started finding the games that I like more, basically all the RTSs. Like, right now, the one I still, which Steam is awesome.

I can't believe i didn't get this earlier than like a year ago yeah but it's incredible like having a uh god what the fuck is it total war warhammer on there i've been playing that a ton have you played any of the total war games scarce uh no uh i haven't played any games except for virtual reality uh in the last couple months because like i don't know with virtual reality it with virtual reality I feel like I have more of a heightened experience with that. It's just like, I don't know. It's so cool.

I haven't played any Total War. I'm just saying if you're into RTS like the top down real time strategy it's basically like that but instead of having individual units like Age of Mythology or Age of Empires you're controlling whole battalions and then heroes and then

mythical units where you have a contingent of souls. It's not much on Steam at all. I went ahead and got all the DLC because they just released some and so I was trying to play it last night a little bit and didn't get much of a chance to. But I'm finally starting. I know I talked about it last week where I was getting enraged

because I was just getting buttfucked by seemingly weak armies when I had strong armies. i've started i've started that clickety clackety uh roller coaster where i'm learning i'm finally hit the curve that's always honestly the most fun about the game is when you're learning about it yeah and when you find like what i'm finding now is like like i'm doing the hot keys without fully thinking about it and then afterward i'm like oh, oh, fuck yeah. I'm figuring this out. Because this is so much more complicated

than any console game I've ever played. You need a mouse with keys on it. With hotkeys on it. It makes that sort of thing. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Oh, cool. Nice. How many keys are in a side? Six. uh six yeah you can get them certainly with like a dozen or so like the um i can't think of the brand right now but um but i i think woody has that one yeah yeah it's a ton of buttons

yeah well i'm loving that game so you are into rts and you're looking for a new one total war warhammer is a lot of fun you also have to just have to like uh like fantasy shit like trolls and wizards and goblins and vampires and for some reason that all that stuff is like totally fine with me vampires are okay as long as there's orcs and trolls mixed in don't ask me to explain why but it's more lord of the rings like that i'm all in like if i find out that a game has to do with like fantasy or a movie has to do with it I'm immediately in whereas if it's like spacemen or futuristic like zergling uh protoss uh like space stuff like starcraft for some reason I'm just not into it like I it's so much harder for me to get into

that than I just saw all right well you should like too ah no spoilers I'm what tomorrow is Friday and I'm watching John Wick 2 and then Logan. I'm going to watch them back to back. Did you enjoy John Wick 2? You know, compared to 1, it might just be my foggy memory, but I really felt like in 1, everything seemed realistic for a guy with near superhero-level skills. In this one, I think i liked one more now it might just be in my head but i felt like some of the fight scenes like one guy would get an upper hand

and the other guy would get an upper hand and what i felt like was an unrealistic way um and try not to spoil anything uh you know the oh i felt like it was heavily sponsored by glock right you know so they're like oh i know you're sure the german wears but check out these austrian ones he's got like a glock 34 at one point later someone offers him a 1911 and he's like oh seven rounds really that's it you know and and you, ah, he's totally like pimping Glock as he uses something else, a Kimber. And, uh, uh, but I just, I felt like the amazing thing about John Wick 1 was how the gung fu, I'm sorry. Yeah. The gung fu was so good. And this one, sure. He's a, Keanu Reeves is like a legit good operator. Like the way he does his reloads and he doesn't have infinite bullets.

But I also felt like it, they stretched into near matrix-like luck and such. I'm okay with that. Okay, well, you might love it. Plus he's reloading. I like that he's reloading and I like that it's proper weapon techniques and control. Like those are the things that just immediately, immediately whoa this isn't what movies normally look like a spoiler but on one part he uses a shotgun and it's really neat just like first of all he reloads very well much better than i could and uh he's got a lot of opponents so you know that's where

shotguns kind of fall down like they rarely have more than eight rounds. And he's just managing it like pop, pop, reload, load, pop, pop. Is he loading? Is he ever reaching over and throwing a shell in and then closing the chamber and firing? Like is he have a shell in his hand? Like is he doing that maneuver? Is he reaching over, putting it in, and then pushing the thing shut and then firing? I hope this sort of thing isn't a spoiler. He takes the shotgun from a person that he kills. And the guy that he kills has a belt filled with like fast reload

things like you might use it a triple thing so he'll like grab down have like four shells in his hand and uh so he just happened upon a speed shooter and was like thank god i killed this guy first i don't need to do that but like a triple gun shooter will have like 18 targets out there so they have to like shoot their first eight now they're out and there's um the belts that they carry they hold shotguns i think four at a time and uh they they put them they like arrange them in there so they can grab a handful and like load it like i don't even know how they do it like it like takes like cheerleader dexterity with the baton to like get them all in there and uh and keanu reeves definitely figured out how to load a shotgun as well as a man can it's pretty cool to see him do and it's like i like that he

didn't always load eight you know sometimes you just get like two in there take care of two real quick you know and then i don't know he might have like a guy's arm trapped. Quick, get another round in and shoot him. And the shotgun gung fu might have been my favorite part. I'm looking forward to seeing that for sure. I love the movie. And I like Keanu Reeves. And I want to see this. And I want to see Logan too.

I think that I want to see them equally as much, both of them. It's the last X-Men movie for both patrick stewart and uh wolverine himself hugh jackman what role did keanu not get you were telling me you saw an interview where he was like yeah my career kind of got down and he wanted he was talking it was an interview that he did after he did um had the movie was called like 57 ronin or like 89 ronin or something and it was this really heavy cgi heavy movie where he's like the great white hope in japan fighting some sort of mythical dragon and some sort of like woman who's like a kung fu wizard or something like a light like sorceress like she's like and it was just awful and it bombed and it had a big budget and there was this interview with him you know and he was basically being really open and honest about like hey i lose i lose most

of the roles i want like like you see me in this movie in that movie you're asking why because i didn't get that matt damon movie i didn't get that ben affleck role like like they took that they did this they did that i was left with fucking kung fu cgi dragons you dragons. At that point, he was really on a slide with his career. Do you remember the movie? You mentioned it one time. He's like, I really wanted to be, it might have been Jason Bourne. Do you remember? I'll see if I can find it, but I don't remember

the specific one. It might have been Batman. He may have wanted to be Batman. Keanu Reeves. I still haven't seen the Batman with Ben Affleck in it oh man ben affleck was in my opinion the shining star people didn't like that actually got a razzie batman if you're familiar what a razzie is like for the worst movie yeah they come out around the same time as the oscars and they'll have like worst movie worst actor worst supporting actress whatever i didn't

think it was that bad right i thought the movie yeah now i haven't seen all of it i thought suicide squad lived up to the bad hype but yeah that was bad but i didn't even watch it okay that was disappointingly bad batman superman like i like that movie now it's it's not like a cultural icon like first Star Wars that we'll be talking about 50 years from now. But it was a good movie, I thought. I was glad I saw it. Enjoyed it. Yeah, I mean, I only watch movies from what you guys recommend on here.

Like, if you guys recommend movies from what you guys recommend on here. No, you guys talk so much shit on Suicide Squad. I'm like, I shouldn't even watch it. I don't want to waste my time. Yeah, it's not worth your time. Don't watch it. Here's a movie you should watch. Arrival with Amy Adams and

fucking Hawkeye. Has anyone seen Arrival? I haven't seen that yet. The alien movie. Not giving anything away here. Aliens come to Earth. We need to find a way to speak to these aliens and Amy Adams is the woman for the job. She's this linguistic expert and

they try to get to the bottom of this thing. She goes and her job is to communicate with whoever has landed in these spaceships on Earth. It's very good. I cried a little. Where do you put it among other space? Are they out in space ever?

You're on Earth. We are the ones being visited and it sort of shows in our modern world with the sort of geopolitical climate as it is what happens because 12 of these craft land all around the world and so various countries at each 12 sites there's you know each country's best and brightest they're trying to make heads or tails of this you know so the russians are trying they're they're speaking to make heads or tails of this. So the Russians are trying. They're speaking to aliens, trying to learn their language or teach them ours

and trying to find some common language really is what's going on constantly. And so the Australians have one. The Chinese have one. We have one in the United States. They're sprinkled all over the globe. And they have this live feed center, like a mission control and command where they have a big screen, and there's Australia's team. We can get

direct input from them in video chat, and there's Russia, and everybody's communicating and sharing this information and trying to figure this thing out, and it's got a really cool ending. The way they handle the aliens and what they look like and why they look like and why

they're here I loved it all I liked it a lot was it like don't say if it's anything if this spoils it but is it like the aliens sent a message that like by accident that we intercepted and now we're trying to decode or is it like the aliens just being shitty and like gave us a puzzle

they arrive in person yeah the aliens have come here. They're here, and they want to talk. Or at least maybe they do, because they didn't immediately start blowing us up, right? You know, they lay this land and park, and so we kind of walk up to see, hey... Did they finally decode it and realize that it said, like,

how to serve man? Like that Twilight Zone episode. Does everybody know that episode of Twilight Zone? I saw it on Simpsons before Twilight. I've never seen that Twilight. But it's, you know, how to serve man, as in how to serve duck, how to serve chicken. Yeah. Yeah, so the whole thing is the aliens come and they're super, super friendly to all the humans. and they're trying to decipher it, and they're like, oh, they just want to serve mankind.

And then they find out, they're like, it's a cookbook in that 1965 shock over action. It's made out of people! That's pretty good, actually. I wish I didn't know the spoiler. I wish I didn't know the spoiler. Don't you notice that in old movies? I don't know what the date would be, but it took people decades to figure out how to not overact, how to not get way too... Because the vaudeville people were clearly having to open their eyes real big

and be showing, like, I'm surprised because you can't hear me, so you got to garner that. And it seems like they kept that for a while, and they didn't quite figure out good acting for a bit i i well talkies took over and killed the silent pictures obviously and and though and he lost a lot of that uh like physical humor like he saw out of somebody like chaplin who was a genius i don't know if you ever seen the movie chaplin um it's really good. Robert Downey Jr. plays Chaplin. He does an excellent job at it, but I've heard a lot of different reasons

for why they spoke the way they did, so I'm not really sure, but maybe it has something to do with their theatrical backgrounds and stuff, but yeah, they didn't used to talk like people talk, and that really takes me out of a lot of older films. They still overreact or

overact like i still feel like actors are more motive than regular watch sideways uh if someone overacts oh sorry it's called if you cut it on everybody you could watch um uh interstellar or something and the people there you know they're just tearing up a little more often they're more distraught they're like acting is overacting more so than i think you know interstellar was sad man that was some heavy shit they were dealing with i was crying with matthew mcconaughey me and him we were both fucking fucking bleeding on the inside that was so sad when he gets back to the god little spoiler for interstellar he gets back to his goddamn ship and and time has been passing so rapidly that his few hours on this planet

broken down was his children's entire fucking life. Their whole childhood went by and he missed it. And he gets to watch in video voice message format, back to back to back, like it's a Netflix binge session. He gets to watch them slowly lose faith in him, not only

as a father, but as a man. They start believing lose faith as him not only as a father but as a man they start believing that he's failed not only them but the human race he went off on this bullshit thing and they lost what what years they had with their father for his pipe dream they think he's dead and he has to watch this all in sequentially back to back after just getting back from the planet and he's just in a very rick from walking dead kind of way this man is disintegrating from the inside out and i'm just crying along with him like god that is the worst thing ever you're there to like give your life for them and in doing that they've given their life for they resent you and resent you for it all oh that was so heavy uh i like stuff like that

it sounds really sad that part of the movie that definitely so heavy I like stuff like that it sounds really sad that part of the movie that definitely was sad I'd forgotten about that till now but you know what like I don't mind sad stuff like that where like it really makes you feel like man what would I do if I was in this situation just helplessly watching as your family slowly

begins to resent you because they don't understand that you've just been bamboozled out of years of your life or whatever I hate lazy be sad shit in movies and the laziest thing that they do in movies to try and make people sad like the bullshit no effort button is killing a dog i hate that in movies when they kill dogs and it clearly has nothing to do with the dog needing to die it's just like all right well we need to make sure this is sufficiently emotional and this is something that nobody's going to be a piece of shit and say that was hacky because everybody will go hey you just you don't care about dogs yeah throw that in legend to pass for that i mean he had no other people that one is okay because it's just him

like the dog was all that he had so killing that dog makes sense and it's almost sadder or it's almost sadder that it's a dog instead of a person in that situation because he's so desperate for any attention and affection that he's raised this dog to the level of a person you know so he's he's like so in dire straits for like i just want someone to fucking care about me or talk to me or make a noise in my direction so that's why that's sad because like his whole world's been taken from him but uh that's why i won't watch marley and me the one with the dog because it's like if the first thing someone says about the movie is oh that was so sad with the dog it's like all right

i'm not gonna watch it like yeah no watch that shit no i don't want your cheap grief like and you're absolutely right you can stomp on a dog and immediately get you know emote tears from me it's gonna happen but if you really build it up and take things away, if you give people things and then take them away in tragic ways, like, oh, man, I really start crying. The Interstellar really made me cry a lot. I haven't watched it since. I've only seen it the once when I saw it in IMAX on, like,

in 70 millimeter or whatever. Like, I haven't watched it yet. And I look at it every now and then on, on TV. And I'm like, I, cause it's free on like Amazon or something. And I'm like, nah, I don't feel like feeling bad today.

Let's, let's find something else. Today's not the day I want to cry. Sometimes I watch interstellar or Martian just cause I have like a good like projector and audio. And it's like, I want to take more. I might watch Martian.

I've never done it, but I could imagine just the first like 15 minutes, you know, where there's the, the storm and the things and flying through the air and like i i turned that stuff up and everyone else is like does it have to be this loud it's like you have to appreciate it you know if you don't feel the thunder in your ass then you know you're not you're not getting the full effect i want to feel like i'm on mars you know yeah yeah basically that's yeah yeah check out scarce was saying that like you uh you watch movies that we provide to you from our cultured

perspective a great one to watch i think we've talked about on the show before is 10 cloverfield lane i think that's from this year it's got john goodman in it i'm a little biased because he's one of my favorite actors he's fucking awesome i love I love John Goodman. But that movie has not... You know how it is with your laptop up, and you got games, and you got shit to do, and most of the time you put a movie on, you're not giving it 100% of your attention. Maybe you pull your phone out and shit.

This is a movie that I put on with intention to kind of just be doing other shit, like maybe play a game on Steam or something. Within, like, five minutes, I had shut everything down, turned the lights off, and was, like, totally in on this movie it's real, real good, I think you recommended it to me Kyle, you may have

it's so good man, it's so good, John Goodman is one of the best actors he is the most underrated actor alive right now I think he is in that top echelon in my opinion of my favorite actors, when I see him portray a character I know that he's gonna he's

gonna put his own little thing into this character it's gonna it's gonna have his physicality in it it's gonna have his presence there imposing yeah and his hands start shaking and then you realize whoa this guy this guy's a little on edge here um and he's a he's a big powerful man you're like let's keep him calm like like oh you you almost want if you were there you imagine yourself kind of putting a hand on his shoulder like a easy big fella like like let's take it down a couple notches like we don't see that and everybody but it's the other way he things keep escalating and there's another person there too right so a couple more yeah there's a couple of people are there i remember there being goodman another person and then our actress right yeah yeah okay well to me it's another person aside from the two main but anyway

um so she's like trying to figure out this dynamic and turning to like, Hey, is he crazy? Where are we on this thing? And it, but the other person's not feeling comfortable. There's all trusting it. It's a pretty neat relationship between the main actors. I like it a lot.

It feels like obviously there's some out of it. It's a Cloverfield movie. And so it's like going to have some out of this world stuff but for the most part it was real i don't think what he has seen the first cloverfield or perhaps he doesn't draw the correlation between the two i i've never heard of a cloverfield movie before this is my first exposure uh so so the first one um is the first one is sort of found footage candy cam rough uh stuff They're almost completely unrelated, except for, if you watch closely in the first one,

while they're jumping around, you see an alien crash into the ocean, and then that gigantic alien then attacks New York City and destroys it that night. And you kind of see all of this from the point of view of just some 20-something Friends characters who are just trying to have an apartment party. And are now stumbling through subways.

Hiding from the little monsters that jump off of the big one. I don't know what the official correlation is of the Cloverfield universe. If that is what it is. There is a third movie in the works that's going to be something completely different. But they all seem to be somewhat related to one another, or at least in the same sort of kooky universe. I think it's better if you haven't seen that movie. You don't know what's real and what's not.

They're not exactly related. Maybe the fact that I mentioned that there's a giant monster might draw you to believe that there's a lot that these films are very similar, but they couldn't be more different. They're very different.

This monster that there is, the fact that you only know that it came from space if you watched a bunch of YouTube videos about it like I did, and you see the frame-by-frame of this thing happening and some shaky footage. You're not even supposed to see it. But in any case, Tim Cloverfield Lane, excellent, excellent movie.

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we did because i as a as i think maybe in the 80s like those big vh you know uh video recorders whatever you recorders video camcorders yeah you know it took a whole VHS tape. I remember ours. You put a whole fucking VHS in that thing. And we had one of those throughout my entire I don't know childhood to the time. So all of that's recorded. Every t-ball game I've ever played. Every baseball

game. Every play where I was in a play or on a stage somewhere reading a thing. All of that shit is recorded on VHS and now it's all on DVD. And I really like it. So if you have memories like that, wow, there's really

few things. You can't replace them if some VHSs get water damaged or a fire or something like that. So this is an excellent, excellent service to get all those memories preserved forever. Because, like I said, once you lose them, they're gone. I remember it was probably 10 years ago or something. My father said that one of his regrets in parenting was that he didn't take more pictures.

And somehow this popped into my head. But I bet now his regret would be that I'm not in his cult. He didn't baptize you. That's his regret. No, they did. They did. They did's his regret no they did they did they did that oh they did i bet if they now now have you baptized your children i have ah i wouldn't do you believe it would be a major point of contention had you not i don't know i you know what people wanted it so we did it it wasn't that big a deal and then um we took all the gifts that the kids got like

usually with checks and uh kicked off their college account right then you know they're a few months old and start their financial planning yeah never been baptized uh so so i believe i i they just throw me in a lake of fire whenever i die what taylor will know let's see what happens to have a bible story but yeah taylor taylor what happens to unbaptized whelps like myself uh depends which flavor of christianity you believe in uh crazy whatever my parents are in yeah six thousand years no dinosaur dinosaurs on the art flavor i don't like the way i can only go by how it was explained to me and i know about about Catholicism enough. The way it used to be with the Catholic Church before they realized that it was very tasteless and not very good PR was that for hundreds of years, if someone died or if a child died before they were baptized, you'd have to pay to get them into heaven because God – he needs a little – you need to grease the wheels. He needs to wet his beak a little bit.

They wouldn't bury the child in the same graveyard either, would they? No, I don't believe so. I think you had to be baptized to be buried in the same place, at least for some. But the way it was explained to me was like, if you didn't get baptized, because the way I was brought up with it was you had to do the whole submersion thing.

You couldn't just be sprinkled as a baby. A lot of people are just sprinkled as a child in certain sects of Christianity. But yeah, they did that to me when I was little. They gave me the spritz, and then just for good measure, they had me do it again. Got the whole clear coat, Christ coat, went there, got it. And they said it's a good way to show your faith and be like showing like I'm dedicating my life to Jesus, Lord. But if you don't get it, god's not going to send you to

hell for not having it like if you're still a christian you believe in god he's not going to be like oh oh oh oh oh there is a final section to the form that you must not have seen and he's not going to pull that shit at the gates green ink here green ink if you'll look at the top of the sheet do you see where it says no x's and to fill the bubble in its entirety is that a number one pencil for you but right i you i saw that for my entire childhood i was like where are the number one pencils where's the number three for that matter and what do they do what hidden properties does the number one and the number three pencil have like like what the fuck are they?

And why do they exist? They're softer and harder. They're sometimes used by architects. And I've used a two and a half and maybe even a three before. You wouldn't like it. I don't know. It was just too hard. It's harder.

The higher the number, the harder it is, the less soft and more like, okay, less flowy. You have to press a little harder to get it to work and I found that the line I got from it was thinner than it would be with like a number two. Ah, which makes sense as an architect. Maybe because you'd want very precise lines and you'd want the ability to maybe do a little racing

perhaps on the other end. Well, thank you for that little factoid about the numbers of pencil. The real question is, what fucking architect was taking that third-grade Scantron test and messed things up for the whole batch, right? I bet it's because it's a different

density or something of graphite and so the Scantron machine maybe doesn't read it. Oh, that's exactly what it is. What I'm saying is, when did it ever happen that they needed to print it so much that we're all talking about this as fucking adults today? I would think a number one would smear easily, too. It might cause trouble in that

regard. You've kind of like fucking Bob the Builder in the back, take it with those enormous carpenter pencils like an asshole. He's using a knife to sharpen it. Wouldn't that be perfect for a Scantron, though? Like, you could fill in the line with one line. I took a test one time in the ninth grade or something like that,

and I knew I was going to fail the class. It was known. It is known. It had been known for a long time that I wasn't going to make it through American history. And so when we got the Scantron, I took it in pins. I took it in pins, and I just remember turning it in and sitting at my desk and being like, I hope I can't wait until he notices that I did that motherfucker in pins. He's going to lose it. He's going to lose it.

And sure enough, I hear him back there. Did you do it? Kyle! Did you do this in blue pins? was like yeah yeah can i had to scratch a few of them out uh but i wrote a little i wrote a little note on the side of scans this is a failure and i'm just like well i don't know like next time right like if i were in your like at least like clearly a difference in how our parents handled grades when we were that age if if i went home and told my parents i'm failing american

history i can't imagine the blowback there would be it wouldn't be like well next semester you're gonna shape up it'd be like what are all the things you like doing? Do you like playing hockey? No more. Do you like going out to play? No more. Do you like going out with friends to their houses? Nope. You don't anymore.

Not until you finish American history. Like, I can't. I remember going home like a little bit in like, oh, God. Oh, God. In fear. My seventh grade year because I had a C in math. I think it was a C+. I think it was a high C+, and I was going home almost shaken like John Goodman.

I'm so angry that people are violating my math. I'm trembling. Oh, man. Did your parents just not give a fuck when you were like, hey, I failed this class? No, that wasn't it. There was a reason for that. It wasn't like I was failing multiple classes it that was the one class i failed my freshman freshman year and it it was it was because of who i was sitting around and i

had like a lot of stuff going on in that class there was a girl who was very distracting to me um who was sitting right next to me there was a guy who i had like a like an issue with i was always getting in behavioral problems with him because he sat behind me to always fuck with me and every now and then i turn around and fucking blow up on him. And then I'd be the one like making the disturbance and like it. Uh, and so like there were other issues that caused that class to go poorly. They were like, there were like four people in there in that one class that I had like issues with. There was one guy who was like three years older taking the class as a fucking senior and he always bullied me and then there was this kid behind me like i said he was just had real behavioral problems he wasn't

picking on me he was just fucking with me he was just being a distraction always a distraction hey hey hey hey look what i got look what i got like like no i got something about george washington hang on hang on a minute let me get this and then the girl that sat right to my left was a major distraction because i I liked her a lot. And so, yeah, that class was getting failed no matter how you sliced it. It was predetermined. I never had any problems with anyone in high school. Like, I would just kind of stay to myself.

Like, because I feel like a lot of my friends... Actually, I think one of my friends and me had, like, this big problem once where... So this guy did a lot of heroin, he would always like shoot up in the bathroom. And he wanted to shoot up with me. And like it was this big peer pressure thing. Like I don't think I've ever been peer pressured more to do heroin with this guy in the fucking bathroom in school. Yeah, I know. It was just like the friend group I was with. How was it?

I didn't do it. You liar liar you totally were thinking get over like that how was i didn't do it no i didn't do it good if you just do it okay i've done coke before i but i've never done heroin before like no no but he heroin i decided not to do it i'm actually very happy i did because that guy has od'd multiple times since high school and we think he's gonna like die soon or something we're like kind of scared for him right now and his his family's like and the worst part was this guy was doing heroin all the time your bike went out again lost you it ended with this guy was doing heroin all the time. Can you hear me now?

Yes. Yeah, I can hear you now. His parents were police officers. Actually, I think his father was a CO. And he would do heroin all the time. He would OD all the time. So me and my friends, we decided, all right, fuck it. We're going to actually, well, I guess it was one of my,

this other friend who was a little bit nerdy, and he actually decided to i guess uh write a whole letter out like type a whole letter out to his parents telling him telling his parents that he's doing heroin all the time in school so my friend said fuck it uh you know i'll pay you 20 to you know put this in his mailbox the next day at school so uh you know when the bus uh because all my friends we got off the same bus stop and we all decided to go to his house. We put the letter in his mailbox and his mom saw us and she came out and she she opened up the letter and she got really angry with us. And the mom still didn't believe that he was doing heroin until he actually OD'd.

And it was awful. It was. Yeah, it was. I had some really bad experience in high school, but I just kind of kept to myself. And I, I feel like that, I don't know, like, I feel like with my high school, it was like super easy to just keep to yourself and not worry about anyone else. I don't know. Cause I feel like I live in like a, you know, suburban white neighborhood or whatever. But yeah, I feel like just keeping yourself in high school is probably the best thing you could do. If there's anyone watching just don't get in trouble because I feel like just keeping yourself in high school is probably the best thing you could do. If there's anyone watching, just don't get in trouble because I feel like if I got suspended or something, my mom would have probably closed down my YouTube channel. Because whenever I got a bad grade on a test, my mom was like, you can't upload today. So she definitely was closing down my YouTube channel because I was about to fail high school at the end there.

But I went through it. I mean, all of my friends, they all dropped out of high school and stuff for doing youtube and um i'm so happy i didn't do that i've never been peer pressured into doing heroin like i don't even know how i would respond if someone was like hey you want to shoot up i'd probably like no no it felt like just like smoking weed like it didn't feel like it was that big a deal maybe it's because i was so young and i didn't realize it yeah man it's like everyone was just shooting up in the bathroom it's like where are you from uh i'm around queens i'm in uh i live in new york city yeah and uh i don't know it just was a normal thing it's like everyone just shot up in the bathroom yeah there was no drugs in

my high school really like like you'd hear about weed i remember like like you would hear about weed you know there's a guy who has some i yeah yeah yeah i smelled it once like like there wasn't this like pervasive drug uh culture there certainly wasn't any heroin i i there was no heroin uh or cocaine like there was this weed and there were guys who did pills and i remember and there were guys who smoked cigarettes and stuff oh yeah i would love to do my friend he also did zans as well you know xanax and honestly i would love to do that during high school because like i heard that like at the end you know you don't remember anything from the rest of the day and that would have been great because high school was just like it was just hell for me like it's just so fucking boring like

every single class i would have loved to to do xanax but i decided to stay away from all that yeah exactly that's good you're in a better place in life for having avoided heroin exactly i'm very happy i never did it there was weed there was coke there were all kinds of pills ecstasy xanax people would steal whatever painkillers their family had around um lots of acid the one the one they do on the paper. I've done that before. There were a lot of mushrooms around. The chemistry classes,

they just could not stay stocked with scales because people were always stealing the scales from the science classes. I didn't do any drugs in high school. I did a lot of dumb shit, but drugs was not one of them. What about weed? You guys smoked weed in high school? No, I didn't know nope i remember someone law abiding citizen i remember someone pulling out a doobie one night

and being like come on let's get out of here we don't want to be around those people and it wasn't it was a bunch of white guys with the fucking doobie we just we thought very little of marijuana at the time i think the first time i saw anybody get high it was more of a thing of like this that's not what i thought that someone who was high would look like you know like as you have this thing of like oh it's gonna be they're totally gonna change gonna be a huge thing because they're getting high and then you're like huh either it hasn't kicked in yet or this is very overblown i honestly thought it would i honestly thought it was much different. The first time I smoked weed, I thought that you would feel so much better, I think.

I don't know. And you don't really feel that much. I thought it would just take over your life if you smelled it. Well, it's just like there's been so much propaganda of the D.A.R.E. program and stuff we came up with. D.A.R.E. for sure. like the dare program and stuff we came up with that stuff. And like, they scare you so much about it that like your expectation of how bad those things will be is so high that when you actually see it in real life, you're like, God, now I don't know if I believe anything.

Why does it take over some people's lives? Right. Cause some people get into weed as a hobby, a sense of identity, you know, they're coming to school. Like this is old school now, but they wear the fucking Rastafarian colors and get dreadlocks and whatever and it's like like this

person is so into weed that like their sense of self-worth is wrapped up into being a weed smoker yeah but i think it's i think it's if you don't have like if you're not already you know working really hard at something like if i just smoke weed and I didn't have a YouTube channel right now, because, like, I smoke every day. And, like, if I didn't have a YouTube channel right now, I honestly feel like I'd be so lazy. I feel like I'd just be sitting around all day and doing nothing. But because I kind of know that, like, you know, I have to upload every day and I have to, you know, talk to my staff and, I don't know, just do a bunch of shit every day. It's like I just keep my schedule there. I can smoke every night and I'm fine with it just don't smoke during the day too

that's that's probably the worst uh if you smoke like in the middle of the day it kind of fucks up the rest of the day i feel like yeah there just wasn't that there weren't all those drugs to be had in in high school or maybe they weren't being shared with me maybe that's what maybe everybody had like tons of shut up kyle's coming over here yeah he's gonna do all our coke just no no or he'll rat us out whatever they might may have thought but but like i i i never saw any cocaine or even heard of any right like it just wasn't a thing i get maybe it wasn't popular do a lot of cocaine like uh at these youtube parties yeah and and um and i got peer pressured into doing it i don't want to tell a story but um basically like anyone i know right what if a similar story happened to someone else

tell that story yeah so this other person okay his name is uh johnny um he uh. So he did Coke, okay? And the problem with doing Coke is it's like after 15 minutes of doing it, you feel like complete shit until you do it again. Like it's either you do it again or you're just going to feel like shit for the rest of the day. So literally that craving, it's one of the worst things you're ever going to feel. Like the craving of wanting Coke and not actually getting it. It's it's awful and i i wish i never did it i guess it really having to take a shit in traffic and being stuck only once what's up i said is it worse than having to take a shit in standstill traffic where you know you're at least 20 minutes from home and

you got a 10 minute fuse it's It's definitely – It's a different feeling, I think, a much different feeling. One is blind panic, and the other is I want some Coke. So what was it like to be on Coke, though? Was Coke, like, give you an energy? You feel like you could get in the world? Yeah, dude, it's like – I think it's, like, one of the only drugs that, like, feels better than sex. Like, it feels so great. But the problem is, like, it's not like weed.

Like, weed is so much more –'s like much more gentle like i feel like uh with with coke it's like a much more like you're much more excited and you're you're happy and you're talking to everyone everyone's having a great fucking time until the coke is out and then everyone hates their lives and it's like that night i could not go to sleep i just could not sleep uh because it's just it keeps you up yeah um and it just it's all if you feel fucking awful afterwards it's only like a 15 30 minute high i really don't know how high you should not quit and become a cocaine salesman because you're not good at it alcohol makes like people make bad decisions on alcohol right and impairs your judgment and you do dumb shit you say dumb things uh does coke do that to you uh i don't know because i i could easily i felt like i was completely in control um i i just felt really fucking good um and i don't know it felt really

good but the problem with coke is it's just like it's so it's just a small high where it's like it's only like you know 10-15 minutes of you feeling really good and then it's so it's just a small high where it's like it's only like you know 10 15 minutes of you feeling really good and then it's like afterwards it's like either you you snort more coke or you know you fucking hate your life for the next day so i would definitely suggest not doing it um i definitely suggest not doing heroin meth uh i know kyle you live in georgia there's probably a lot of lean down there um definitely don't do that. But smoking weed's fine. I have no problem with that. Lee, that's the Trayvon Martin thing, right? That's a codeine syrup and like Arizona watermelon.

They don't have any lean around here, but like in Georgia. That's so good. That's in rap songs. Kyle, you could probably get a ton, dude. If you live near Atlanta, dude, you probably have so much lean around there, dude. You'd probably find a dealer anywhere. I don't know. I haven't been looking for any lean lately, but I do remember when I had strep throat, they prescribed me that big bottle of codeine. And man, that is a fun drug. I had this big bottle because I was going

to be away for a week. It was the big cough syrup bottle. It's opaque and kind of a dark color. I don't know what color. Kind of a brownish color. Anyway, it tasted good. I think that sometimes pharmacists will add this bitter tasting stuff to prevent people from abusing it, but they were kind enough to me to just make it taste like deliciousness.

It's like candy. Like simple syrup or something with maybe cherry or strawberry liqueur added. I don't fucking know. I'm just sipping on this thing, and it's like the tiniest sip, you'll feel it go down your throat and coat your throat in this warm,

numbing deliciousness. It tasted so good, it made you feel feel good and it numbed away the pain it was the bad that was amazing and i just remember like i went through that whole bottle within the course of maybe six days or something like that and i had to get the prescription refilled in like idaho which is where i was like traveling at the time and in idaho they got some horse shit laws because they made it taste so bad that i wouldn't even drink it after that i was like now it is medicine well no it was it was just like you know the bad part of a pecan how repugnant that is

they made my drug taste that way and i was just like well fuck i'll just power through this give me that robitussin at least it doesn't taste like ass like it was like a chemical taste it was terrible so my mother-in-law's like two doors over down the hall and um she's in all sorts of different pain meds and sometimes she doesn't like one or has an issue so there's a fucking pharmacy over there like i could do anything you name it like i think she's got a rack of it over like rockies i don't like a lot i don't know like drugs struck it like a like a like uh you know what your waitress might take away your dishes with full of drugs just all kinds of stuff over there yeah just like um well yeah and but don't come rob us bad people because we're home all the time and I'll kill you. And I'm sure you haven't been dabbling.

I haven't, but it's crossed my mind. Of course, I've mentioned a dozen times, like, we should get some weed in here to see if she likes that. But it's like, I bet she's got a bunch of stuff over there that people would like too. Those are bad people, though. I could never see... Even being offered a prescription pill as a recreational thing, it's like, ah, what does it do?

Oh, well, it numbs you all over. Don't take too much or your lungs don't work. Ah, okay, never mind then. Fuck that. What if I react poorly through it? I haven't talked to my doctor about all this. I'm checking the fuck out. I don't want that.

Interesting. I thought prescription drugs were like drugs. Like people like them too. That's what big pharma wants you to think. Yeah, exactly. What opioid crisis that's sweeping the fucking northeast in the country. There must be something good about it if it's sweeping the nation, right? You know, like good music and is like good that's why heroin is

like that's why heroin's such a big problem right now yeah it's because like getting that that those pill dependencies are so high and at some point it's like well i can't get these pills i don't have access to them anymore and i'm still addicted to opium and so i'm gonna get heroin that's super cheap now and then like every time i hear about heroin they're like oh yeah it's like seven dollars and it'll fuck you up for the next 18 hours it's like whoa are you serious so for like can i pay three and a half dollars and get half that i got shit to do you know you could do it you know that you could be like i have three dollars give me a $3 bag of fucking heroin. And the guy would be like,

give him half a bag. And that would be enough to send you into this like pleasurable numb place where like you feel no pain. Like God, what's the Michael Jackson drugs? The Michael Jackson drugs, propofenol, something close to that.

Is it prophenol or propethol? I think it might be profanol. Anyway, so I don't really do drugs, but I have had surgeries. And they give you that in advance to, like, calm you down and make you feel better. And prior to a surgery, I am nervous, right? You know, like, I recognize, like, look, Woody, this isn't your job, right? All you need to do is fall asleep asleep and that guy does all the work. So like don't get too upset about nothing.

But I'm nervous and they put this stuff in your IV and oh my God. Like I'm sure it's bad. I mean it killed Michael Jackson. But good Lord, is it good. Like I swear if you told me that I i sprained my acl right now or something and had to have surgery i'd be like well there is one upside yeah after a while you start self-harming yourself to get to the propofol they'll need to operate on this last time i had surgery they're like you know like i guess i tried to convince them to give me the pro

help me propofol propofol propofol i tried to convince them to give it to me earlier because it doesn't last that long usually how the prophenol lasts until like the actual anesthesia puts you under and i'm like i bet i could get a double dose right like if they hook me up now 30 minutes before the surgery and it lasts 15 minutes at a pop, I could get like a second hookup. I mean like – And then a third hookup. I've chosen for some propofol. Come on.

Anesthesiologist. Give me a $20 bag of propofol. She's like – Best bartenders on earth, right? They'll get you fucked up. And yeah, thank God I don't have any access to this stuff because i'm a huge fan i uh i did i remember like when everybody was getting their wisdom teeth taken out that was when a lot of people had had those pills for the first time i remember about that age

being like having a lot of friends be like man i got my wisdom teeth taken out and i gave me these pills and i was just on the fucking moon for like eight hours and i didn't feel anything and then as soon as it wore off i was like oh my fucking socket or whatever and i went into the dentist to be like oh you know maybe i'll see and get this and i'll get the neat story that all the kids at school are telling and i get there and i get my my oral analysis by the dentist with his fucking x-ray and he comes in he's like well we have got a very lucky young man here no wisdom teeth and i was like what does that happen and he was like yeah you just don't have them like a small percentage of the population has two and even smaller just don't have them you don't have them

so you're good and i was like oh well fuck maybe i'll buy a pill from a guy at school i thought for sure where this story was going. He's like, well, you're a lucky young man here. There's room for your wisdom teeth. Most people don't have room, but you... Actually, we'll fill up that enormous head of yours. We're going to add a few more.

There's room for eight wisdom teeth. And we've got a whole jar full. The kind lady next to me matches your type, and if you'd like we could implant looking really good at biting yeah once i um once i like i fell down and like ripped like part of my head open and uh and my mom like she didn't want me to take the drugs or whatever to like i guess make me feel okay while they're fucking stapling my head so and I was kind of against it too I'm like I don't want to take any drugs you know what I mean because I was so young I was like

I don't know I was like eight years old or something and they just start stapling my head and it hurts so bad I don't think of anything that's hurt so bad like whenever the doctor says recommends you to take some drugs before they go through something make sure you do it especially if you're getting staples dude because they really it really did feel like they were actually stapling my fucking head and it just hurts so bad yeah exactly i got my head stapled up as well you did how bad i fell out of a shopping cart when i was younger and you know those things you like hang items on at say walmart it sort of juts out from uh the wall that like ripped the top of my head open. Like I, I sort of went head first into that and it like started here somewhere and like,

like just dug a trench in the top of my fucking head when I was, I don't know, four or five, something like that. I can remember it. I can, I can remember like being with my grandmother, my mother,

my aunt and my little sister. Uh, I'm not sure what city we were in maybe athens georgia but i told we were in a kmart i remember that much because that was a thing back then and i remember them having me in the bathroom and like freaking the fuck out looking at my head and then i remember like going into surgery i remember the anesthetic and i remember what i four or five and i remember the dream that i had under anesthetic as like a four-year-old. There was a black, all right, it's total darkness.

I'm in a void with a floor. It's just, you can't tell if the room is 100 feet wide or infinity. And there's a bright light coming from straight up, straight down, illuminating just where we're standing. And I'm the only one standing there. And there's an old black man in like a cartoon-style birdcage, the kind that's flat on the bottom and comes up and, you know, like folds together like Tweety would be in a cartoon and this black man is up above me standing inside this birdcage with light coming down around him and spilling down onto me and illuminating me and he's telling me everything's gonna be okay and and that was the dream that i had under anesthesia as a four-year-old but i can still remember it very clearly it's weird how stuff like that happens like do you have any

memories from when you were young like like six or seven or whatever, where like you were at say, like, I don't know, like a hockey game. Like I was at a blues game or something. And like, I saw something like a guy spill a beer intentionally on another guy.

And you just, in your own head, almost cognitively, you're like, I will remember this. Yeah. Like, it's almost like you imprint it.

And then years later, like even now it's like, well, fuck, like I still haven't forgotten that. Like I was so almost like you imprint it, and then years later, like, even now, it's like, well, fuck, like, I still haven't forgotten that. Like, I was so young. It's because you bring that up so often. It's because you bring that file back up so many times in your, in your, your brain that you're tricking yourself into thinking that this is a long, old, forgotten memory. Not forgotten, but an old memory, but what it is, is you're just, you're just recalling every other time that you've pulled that file back up in your brain and reinforced that memory, and, you just, you're just recalling every other time that you've pulled that file back up in your brain and reinforced that memory. And, you know, big memories are like that. Sometimes they don't seem big, but they had an impact on you on that day. I totally know what you're thinking

about or describing, because there's all these little innocuous events from childhood, whether it's five-year-old me, eight-year-old me, 12-year-old me, where I remember like a day or half a day and I'm like why am I remembering that day? What was so important about the day I went over to that guy's house and everybody was in the backyard in that above ground pool Those spheres are stored closer to the control panel and

I learned this in Inside Out and they're core memories Sure, okay I haven't seen Inside Out. I think maybe it's a cartoon and you're mocking me. That's the one where all the little gremlins are up in the brain being like, oh, we don't want to do that. It's actually a really good movie.

Another cool representation of how our brains work. If you ever read Stephen King's Dreamcatcher or you watch the movie, which isn't quite as good. The movie's good too the book is better i i i i read the book after i watched the movie and i was like oh this is i like this i have archetypes in my head for what these these characters look like i know what they look like you're not jonesy um but uh yeah uh the the way that they visually show off the inside of

this man's brain in the movie is pretty interesting. I like that. My daughter cut her head open like Kyle did. So I pulled up a picture. Of her head? Nope. This is a park bench. And so I was playing ice hockey.

This is, you know, she was like three, I think. And there were a bunch of these benches kind of in like a waiting area not far from the rink and uh i guess my wife was letting her climb on the benches it's like there's anyone else on them and she fell over and she hit her head on the edge of the like concrete arm for people watching or maybe just listening to the audio uh it's a regular park bench but the ends of it are concrete anyway it split her skull open let now her skin open on her forehead like to the skull and you could clearly see the skull like you know people are like oh you see bone and you see something white and it's probably but no dude you're like oh so so i guess that's a human skull right there you know like it was just and um she's a little

three-year-old cutest thing with all this red flowy hair and like we were really concerned about the scar across her head uh they had a pool at this hockey rink too so the lifeguards came over and gave her some pressure and the ambulance came and um when we got to the hospital we waited for a plastic surgeon rather than just having her like stitched back up there was a lot of attention given to whether or not we beat the kid like they had like i don't know if they had special services come over but we were definitely interviewed like separately almost you know like to see if the stories matched and what the scoop was with that and they stitched her forehead up real tight. And for like a year and a half, they didn't want any sun on it.

And we had to like put vitamin E or whatever, like to make sure it healed as good as it could. So like there's a section of all of Hope's childhood pictures where she's wearing a hat in every single one of them. And she'd be outside swimming in a pool with a big sun hat on. I bet she's very thankful at this age that you took that very seriously at the time. When she was like 10, it was like,

oh yeah, you can't really see it anymore. At 17, I haven't even thought about it in years. You can't see it. When I was five... Oh, go ahead. Oh, no, no, go ahead. When I was four and my sister was three, I whacked her in the head with a fucking gardening hoe.

As you do. Yeah, and they got a plastic surgeon and fixed that all up. I did something like that too, except it wasn't on purpose. It wasn't malicious. To my younger brother, we were at a friend's house having a pillow fight very, very, very, very close to...

I would say too close to the fireplace. And I... I see where this is headed. I smacked and i got like a collateral damage style hit i was large for my age i was like eight and i hit my friend and my younger brother and yeah my younger brother just like like turned in direction and slammed his head right on the corner of the uh the fireplace and it was at a friend's house and so of course anytime a kid's hurt at a friend's house that parent's like oh my god anytime a kid's hurt at a friend's house, that parent's like, oh my god, we're gonna get in trouble and everything. They're freaking out, like, calling my parents

and everything. And I remember having to go to the hospital and sit in the room while they stapled his head. And the way you guys describe it, it sounds like you got a lot of those. So I think this was not as bad. It was only, like, maybe six staples. I don't know what a lot is. But I had to sit there in the room while they were

like, oh, settle down, be quiet, to my younger brother. And they just... Which, I don't... Obviously, they get rid of most of the pain, but as a child, having staples put into your head with a bunch of adults looking at you with fear in their eyes, kind of frightening.

In a way. You mentioned the friend's house. We were like 26 or 27 or something we had these little kids hope was our little kid but we had a friend group who had uh kids hope's age every so often we drop the kids off at like one parent and everyone would get a night out you know without kids so it's our turn to watch everybody's kids and uh a couple number one comes by drops off their boy everything is cool couple number two comes by, drops off their boy, everything is cool. Couple number two comes by, and we're all friends, right? It's like a friend group.

They pick up couple number one's kid and they throw him in the air like a dad would do, but the ceiling fan is on. And it just cracks the kid in the head. And we're all like trying, like how fucked up is this kid now? Like, this's a baby you know

and we're like do we take him to the hospital or pretend it never happened pretend it never happened that's what we went with yeah when I was like when I was like 15 maybe 16 or 17

somewhere in there I stood up out of my bed. Like I'm going to get out of bed and I'm like go somewhere. But like for whatever reason, like my bed was always pushed back into a corner or something. I popped up out of bed, stood in the bed, and sort of like was going to like take two steps, hop on the floor, and then sprint through the living room and out of the house or whatever. I stood up into the ceiling fan, which was turned on, though, and that blade hit me flush in the side of the head and hit me in the top of the ear. Like it caught my ear right in the top quarter of my ear.

It dropped me to my bed with so much pain. I can still feel that pain right there in that ear. And I remember laying there, holding my whole head and going, and thinking to myself, I couldn't feel it very well or tell what I was touching because my whole ear was red hot and numb

from the pain. But I remember thinking, I have a cauliflower ear now for sure and i haven't fucking ever stepped foot on a goddamn wrestling mat i'm gonna have one of those ugly fucking cauliflower ears and i have and i and i wouldn't even know what i was fucking doing in wrestling like i'm gonna look like that the guy and like and i'm gonna have none of the skills that come along with looking like that and i was just laying there in my vanity and pain and just just rocking back and forth until it makes me think of like those ear injuries can be bad one of my friends to another one of my friends gave him when we were like 11

or 12 like a complex about his ears so my buddy we're all in the pool hanging out for a day and the rabble rouser among us like one of us is like i was obviously big for my age as i was the other guy was like you know normal size guy and the third guy our friend was very very small at his age like he teeny tiny didn't like looked like like he was an eight-year-old almost but he was our age like 11 or 12 and we're all in the pool and the guy to the really small guy snuck up behind him while he was like shooting baskets and with both of his hands like open gave him like a real ear boxing like a and that is like one of i've never had it done to me thank god but it's like apparently one of the

most disorienting like makes you feel sick because your equilibrium's off like it's just wholly painful and awful especially an eardrum yeah i don't remember if he said you ruptured my eardrum or if that was like him playing it up in later years we've retold the story but from this day every once in a while when we're all hanging out we're all you know 25 26 years old now we will still make little gestures to like touch his ears and he will like he's like the retarded brother oh there's something about mary it's not like a hey watch it you guys like i remember the joke it's like uh don't you fucking touch me don't fucking touch my ear like it's funny to watch but also

but it's just funny yeah it's just funny yes that's fucked man i bet that would hurt so goddamn much to get boxed in your ears like that i think that you just think i'm gonna give him a goof and like yeah on that friend topic where you guys are saying like you know uh your friends are getting hurt and stuff well i had a friend uh when i was like nine years old he went to my house every single day he's like my best friend and um and we were just playing around once in my backyard and i took up like one of those big snow shovels uh you know like those ones that are like metal and uh i i just picked it up and i don't know we were just joking around just goofing around and he um he ran into it right so he hits his uh like lip pretty badly and then he hit his gums really

badly and his gums like were bleeding everywhere. It looked like he was going to bleed out or something. It was the most disgusting thing ever. And I've never had a friend's dad get so angry with me. Because his dad came over. And I was trying to explain to him. It was not my fault. Your son ran into the shovel. And obviously afterwards, he tried to tell all my friends.

He's like, oh, no. He hit me with the shovel. And we had this big debate for like the rest of high school, where he he always used to, you know, tell my friends that I hit him with a shovel when I was younger. But I know that I just picked up the shovel, he ran into it. And his dad got so angry with me, he literally yelled at me, like even worse than like my dad used to yell at me. And my dad was really fucking harsh with that stuff. And he yelled at me so badly, like never felt so like so horrible uh for doing something to someone but he eventually recovered took him a couple years though he had a pretty fucked up mouth he actually fucked up his

teeth i think for the rest of his life uh so i feel really bad for that i kind of stayed away from him afterwards like uh we were best maybe maybe someday maybe someday you'll have the means to go back and pay for his teeth or something like that. It wasn't my fault, though. I just picked up the shovel. He ran into it. I know what happened, okay? He's trying to make me think I hit him with the shovel, but I didn't.

But I feel like I actually did fuck up his teeth for the rest of his life. And I kind of feel bad for that. Yeah, I kicked the kid's tooth out in, like, I don't know what grade we were in. I came down the slide. This dummy was trying to go down the slide this dummy was trying to go up a slide like like crawling up the slide not and i'll be honest six or seven year old me didn't have to kick him in the mouth but but there was this little flash in me that was like i'm going the right way i have the right of way all right so so like you have fucked up sir and

so i just gave him the double like power ranger thing right in the face because he was in my goddamn way and i wasn't gonna smush into him and and he never got that tooth fixed and it was a permanent like like permanent i saw him years later and he still had that tooth gone like you it was still and it was it was like this one poor jeremy i had a thing i said i kicked a tooth out not i got him on the ground and stomped his mouth the mashed potato on his fucking port de dacha like did you get his feet i had a thing with like teeth like when i was losing them that like when i discovered it was a thing that like oh you're

losing your baby teeth and i saw all my friends like losing their teeth faster than me because i was like a few months younger in the grade and that matters at that age like the months where you're losing them almost and i was always thinking like if i lose more teeth it'll mean that i'm growing faster and so i would take teeth like there were always the kids in class who'd be like see this tooth and it'd be like hanging by a fucking thread and they just would just tear it out you just easily pull it out i was the opposite where i'd be like oh that's a little bit of movement that's a little bit of movement i i basically forced and tore out my all four of my front teeth here at like age i don't know seven or eight because i was like wiggling them so hard. And so

so many of my pictures as a young kid, they'd be like, there's Taylor when he's young. Doesn't have any teeth in the front. There's Taylor a year later. Still no teeth in the front. There's probably people who wait about a year or so. Here's Taylor a year and a half later, you can start to see that peak coming down

from the front. It's a real connoisseur in your younger years. You can start to see that peak coming down from the front. It was very, very big. Like a real soup connoisseur in your younger years. Just a side mouth chewing. That's hilarious. Yeah, we used to find fun, creative ways to get them jerked out, string around the tooth, and then let's tie it to something. We did a bottle rocket once.

We did cars. Spirit hockey, and then you shoot your own tooth out. We did a bottle rocket once. We did cars. A speed hockey and then you shoot your own tooth out? That's a way to do it? It was a lot of fun. Yeah, anything like that. Slamming the door, of course. Bottle rocket. Yeah, we did a bottle rocket, a big one.

Yeah, and we definitely did the car one time. I guess that's it. Different topic for Scare scare so we're at four hours now almost um what is your rich and famous youtube celebrity what's been your favorite part about the ride so far like any perks you like any what do you good wrap up oh well i don't know just i guess just having having enough money where you're like comfortable where it's like you get to do everything you want to do. It's not like you're, you're looking for something you want to buy every day. It's just like, you're just completely comfortable.

Um, and I feel like I have a great life right now. I mean, I think, you know, give it, maybe if it was like 50 years ago and I was born 50 years ago, I probably would have had a pretty shitty life. Um, but I think that I was born at the right time. I probably would have had a pretty shitty life. But I think that I was born at the right time because to be honest with you, you know, I'm awful at math. I'm awful at pretty much every subject.

I mean, I was just awful at school in general. So, but I am kind of smart at some stuff and I feel like YouTube is one of them. And I'm very happy that like, I was just born at the right time. I think, I think I was just, it's just pure luck, I think. But I think the thing that's probably the most fun about youtube uh is kind of just being able to like go anywhere and having friends like uh we're thinking about taking a trip to

tokyo in like two months and uh me and a bunch of these uh girls from youtube and um this we know now like five people who live in tokyo us to, like, party with them and stuff. And they're going to show us around Tokyo. And it's, like, that's so fucking cool. Like, I could just, like, yeah, I could just fly anywhere. Like, I've been doing a ton of trips lately. Like, we do a trip every two weeks. Like, we go to Vegas.

We go to LA. And it's, like, wherever you go, there's, like, tons of YouTubers there who, like, want to party with you, who want to chill with you, who can get you weed. You know what I mean? So it's, like, the coolest thing ever is ever is like the traveling part of it where it's like anywhere you go you have fans you have other youtubers you know and if you have nothing to do you just tweet out saying oh you know i'm i don't know i'm i'm in vegas right now you know let's meet up here and you get a bunch of fans that like can get you weed and can can help you party and stuff wherever the fuck you want to go you That's the best part about it, I think.

Good answer. You might want to be careful with the marijuana in Japan. They have very, very strict laws. Anything more than an ounce and it's a finger. It's worse than that. Are they really going to do anything to a foreign person?

Yeah. Especially if they catch you with half a gram, five-year sentence might be what's prescribed. I don't think I'm going to... I probably will, but...

You're like, oh, god damn. That didn't take long. I guess I'll smoke a little, but I'll do a one-hitter or something like that. I'm not going to be rolling. I'll have a lot of money when I get out of jail, right? Think about that interest. It's going to be...

Oh my God, the compounding. That Roth IRA is going to be posted. By the time Tokyo's done with me, it's going to be $80 million. It'll be that much closer to your Roth IRA withdrawal. Exactly. 10% of that will pay. On the Japanese taxpayer's dime, why not?

You know? What would Japanese prisons be like? Can't be good. They're no good. I imagine they're very clean and orderly. Lots of duels, karate battles, challenges with people. Drone masters. I got a question.

So if you guys knew you were going to get life in prison, like you knew that when you go to trial, you're definitely going to get life in prison, would you kill yourself? Because honestly, I'd probably kill myself. Because it's just like, if I'm going to get life in prison, it's like, I don't know. I just feel like... Give myself a day or two in there.

Give myself a while in there. See if there's a way to escape or if there's a way to do something. I would escape. Like not one that you can find. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Wow. Can you believe they gave us skates and an ice ramp?

I'm out of here. I'll just – huzzah. That's not what's going to happen. We're not going to escape. But if there's an option to flee, you know, let's go with that as option A, you know, $100,000 in a bag, go down to Mexico, try to get into like Honduras. I mean, shit, even if you got to use half your money to get there, 50 grand in Honduras is going to set you up real nice, right?

That's best to us. What if you just show up like burst in, like out of breath at the Ecuadorian embassy with Julian Assange right there and you're just oh oh god i'm safe are we we're bunking together right like there's probably not a lot of room here i mean that would be the truth yeah i dude i but but yeah it would be suicide rather than like you know if there's that eventuality of the next uh you'm 30, the next 60 years in a fucking penitentiary, yeah, let's just go eat a bullet or let's go take a bunch of pills and drink a bottle of wine and go to sleep. Let's go take a bunch of pills and drugs and fall asleep in our car.

Yeah, I just do heroin. That's definitely the best way to die is OD on heroin, right? If I actually wanted to kill myself, I just – Sounds like a kill. Yeah. That's great. Can you guarantee it though? Because like I was thinking –

Oh, yeah. You can? All right. Because I was thinking like a shotgun or something. Like I like Kyle's idea. You flee. Eagle pain. And then when fleeing doesn't work out, like with a shotgun, I can guarantee death.

That's the thing about it. You can guarantee death with a handgun. Not if you aim it at your head. Apparently you can still live. You have to aim it at your throat, right? There's plenty of people who are just not space-coordinated. They're like, yeah, it's pointed straight into my head, right? And they just blow out their eye socket.

It's like, get a mirror square up. You know, like, make this count, okay? Like, the people who try to kill themselves, it's like, god damn, you are a failure, aren't you? If you aren't going to try it, holy shit! How much did you just cry? That's exactly how I felt after I tried to kill myself.

You couldn't figure it out? Like, it's so funny. I apologize to you. It's okay, I'm not that sensitive. You were young and you didn't know how to kill yourself properly. I was just like, I can't do anything right. That was my takeaway from it. If I had to do it, I would orchestrate

something in a hotel room. I'd have to think of some sort of system of pulleys, like a Rube Goldberg machine, to make it look like a murder. Just to throw people off into like a goose trail chase like just for no reason like at least they'll never figure out this system of pulleys that he was able to pull it on himself yes see that's why i need a little bit of thought it's like oh that went down the ramp and now he didn't do this yeah i don't

by the way. Don't. Unless you're going to do life, you know, and then it seems like the best way to do things. You could just stand on a block of ice, right? Let it melt, you die, and then the evidence goes away and no one's any wiser. No, because the cop would literally walk into that room and go, I know how this works.

Don't tell me, don't tell me. He stood on the block of ice and then he let it melt and the slowest suicide of all time. You'd have to do something a little more clever than that. I'm going to die. Alright, let me do it. Are we ready for

a post-op? No, because I've been holding off on Trump talk all night long. Oh yeah. I was wondering when you guys talk about Trump. You guys talk about him so much. Dude, it's the thing is like now that he's in and things are going bumpy. I like, I have like two real life Trump supporters right here.

And sometimes I wait all week just to like, find out like i voted for trump all right three three so now i told my subscribers i voted for gary johnson but that was just because i wouldn't get a ton of backlash because like if i was to tell people if i was to tell people no this is the reason why me and my friend okay this guy is the most entertaining politician of all time okay you cannot say that's not true and the the great part about trump is his supporters my friend his neighbor has literally instead of the american flag he has a trump flag like a literal flagpole and a trump flag like at his house like i want to take a picture of it and

send it to you guys because it's the funniest thing ever it is so fucking great yeah it says trump make america great again and it's literally he took down his american flag and put a fucking trump flag on his flagpole It's and when Trump was running he had this huge banner across his lawn with Trump or whatever and you could tell this guy's a straight skinhead dude like Just looks like a skinhead I mean he's bald he's just straight up completely white

that's like a Trump supporter caricature yeah exactly the funniest thing we just said was that you told your subscribers that you voted for Carrie it's obvious I voted for Trump because like I don't know I actually actually um i like trump uh

i don't like i don't like any of his a lot of his policies but i just like that he's trying to cut taxes for businesses and stuff because for me i mean i vote for my best interests obviously okay i'm not like someone over here who cares about white guilt i don't really give a shit um like honestly i just want my taxes to go down okay i'm getting taxed like 55 right now it's like this is fucking ridiculous so that's one of the main reasons why i want trump to be in office and it's just like if hillary was in office right now it would be so lame dude like she's so boring and dull and you know the thing about trump though is that his speech is now with like in the joint congress or whatever, his speech a couple days ago, yeah,

dude, his speeches are awful with the teleprompter. It's just awful. Dude, he was staring at it. It's so obvious. He's reading off the two of them. I like his speeches without the teleprompter. Oh, everybody does. Those are so great, and it's like, now he has the teleprompter, and he sounds like such an idiot

too, because he's looking at it, and he's talking about it. The best is the mix. The best is the mix when he'll be like, oh, Chicago crime is higher than ever. You know, that's right. That part, I agree with that part. And then he reads some more. He'll be like, we're bringing jobs back. We're going to bring them back better than ever, folks, like you've never seen before.

And then he'll go back to the fuck. It seems like he's never read it before. He does not understand the emphasis of certain syllables and the flow of regular speech. I can feel myself huddling up the ad reads occasionally. I'm like, oh, I didn't emphasize the right

syllable on that word, did I? He sounds so stupid because I do it occasionally because I'm reading this for the first time ever. I've never read this before. He's reading a speech that they should have been pouring over for hours. If I were delivering. He probably didn't, though, because he's so full of himself.

It'd be coming from the heart. And I would have been talking to fucking actors and performers about which would be more powerful if we emphasize this syllable here rather than there. That flows really well into this next sentence. Yeah, let's move this sentence there and that one there. That's much more powerful and it shows

solidarity. You'd be dissecting the speech and memorizing and pouring over it. He's just like, alright, play it. And he's just reading straight off the thing for the first time. It feels like pouring over it he's just like all right play it and he's just reading straight off the thing for the first time it feels like so often it's funny but so now um pence is using his private aol email address to discuss homeland security issues that just came out sessions aol yeah literally fucking AOL to discuss Homeland Security issues. That was Hillary's big thing, the private email server, all that. They're doing it.

Sessions just recused himself because he lied under oath about talking to the Russians. Dude, this is like a House of Cards episode. Better. Better.

It's going to come out with their last season and it's going to pale in comparison to what we have in the white house flynn's already had to resign in shame uh sessions may resign in shame we'll see how i hope so i hope so am i the only one sessions out i think a lot of people are on that side yeah i remember when he first got like uh suggested you know that a lot of people really really hated this guy but personally i was like i've never heard of him before so exactly i don't like i shouldn't be getting all worked up like because you told me to not you but like you know yeah i didn't buy into all of the the racial discrimination stuff that they're drumming up from like the 70s or something like that it's like look this guy hasn't stepped out of line since 1970 and even then it seems pretty fucking murky

like he's probably a decent fellow i think it was the 90s but anyway ah man okay i i thought it was all right because he's a he's an old fucking guy himself but but but what what i don't like what he's saying about um you know the recreational marijuana i don't like how he's saying about the recreational marijuana. I don't like how all the transgender issue, oh, that's a states' rights issue. And when I hear that, I'm like, yeah, as a constitutionalist, I think that, yeah, that is a states' rights issue. Then marijuana should be too. Marijuana should be fucking douchebag.

I hate it when Sean Spicer is saying, oh, yeah, there's a big difference between medical and recreational marijuana. It's like, okay, for real? And then he slips opioids into the same conversation as if marijuana is a goddamn opioid. Exactly, yeah. It was awful. It sounded like you were listening to a politician from the 1950s or

something trying to speak on these issues. Yeah, root for madness. Like that level of stupid. You look at Jeff Sessions' comments when he talks about the violence that comes along with the marijuana, and particularly the more potent marijuana of today he makes you less violent yes right the more potent marijuana of the day is just tranquilizing the fuck out of people and making them eat extra bags oh that was my joke oh yeah the dorito consumption particularly

the more potent strains of today, is off the charts. I just imagine a big pie chart where Jeff Sessions, as you can see here in the Minneapolis area alone, Doritos in the Cool Ranch region, we see an 80% rise in Cool Ranch alone. You see right there? That is that potent marijuana we're talking about. It's like, what are we talking about? This violent crime. If you have drug-o-vision and you can just see and be like, oh, that person's drunk. That person's high on marijuana, that person's on meth, and you're walking through a street at night, late, if you see a guy that's high on marijuana, you're not going to derivate your path one bit.

Just like, oh, I bet that guy is probably pretty sleepy. Yeah, you might be really tired or maybe just ready to go home and eat and watch a movie. If I see with my drug-o-vision like meth or coke or heroin or something, I'm going to cross the other side of the street because even if they're on heroin and they're probably low on energy, maybe they need more heroin. So they want to mug me and sell my phone to some pawn shop or whatever. On the Trump thing, I see his administration as one that's really not doing a good job.

He proposed, I've heard between 54 billion and 84 billion and an increase in military spending right and decreased taxes and there really aren't any other discretionary spending to find 54 to 84 billion dollars um yeah this is what they tell me because he said he wasn't going to touch that medicare and social security right so so if he promises not to touch that, you know, you can't just fucking defund PBS and find $84 billion. Like, it's not there. There's not that much.

And then he's got the tax cut thing. That just leads to a failing country. He's got the drug thing you mentioned. He's got all these embarrassing, like, ties with Russia, the now Penceence and the private emails and homeland security i just feel like this thing is so bumpy you know and flynn i left that out and they're resigning in shame like we're looking at a really incompetent administration here you know they don't usually kick off this but oh and the two laws he passed

that that i know of and I swear there's not that much more than this, is energy companies can give and take bribes, and energy companies, coal companies in particular, can dump their sewage or ash or whatever into the water. He passed a law that energy companies can take

bribes. Yes. There's something about mortgages. There's been a couple of little things, I think. But you're right. First of all, it's still early, right? They always talk about the first 100 days of a presidency or the first 90 days, and we're like 40-something in or so.

But I agree with you. Sure, he certainly hasn't moved any mountains or part of the Red Sea yet. He's entertained the fuck out of me, though. I'm glad to see that it seems like he's going to be held accountable, and so is his administration, for any wrongdoing they may or may not have done,

anything that was untoward when it comes between them and the Russians. We're going to get to the bottom of it. It's clear. I watched John McCain and Lindsey Graham's little town hall or whatever they called it last night. They're all about that, too. Lindsey Graham's like, oh, you know,

if something happened, we're going to find out. Those two guys kind of opposed Trump. I didn't like that Sessions was refusing to recuse himself. Like he wanted to look over all this Russian stuff until it came out that he was actually one of the bad guys. Like he wanted to lead this investigation on his own and until he was part of it, until he was getting investigated.

Until it turned out he had lied under oath to Congress about speaking with Russians during the campaign. And of course they fucking roll that tape immediately and he's like, well, I talked to this person, I haven't talked to any Russian officials about any of that. And if you're a fly on the wall,

you're like, why are they bothering Mr. Sessions about Russians here in these hallowed chambers? We need to get these people approved and get this administration rolling. When reality is like, there's a lot of Russian involvement that's a little fishy, and we're going to get to the bottom of it. And whether that means that Trump gets thrown out or whether that means his whole administration is gone, they're going to get to the bottom of it. They're going to make it right. As we say this, they haven't assigned an independent prosecutor to look into this.

And they may not. Instead, it's just whoever reports to Pence will look at it instead. Whoever reports to Sessions. I'm sorry. I meant Sessions. Yeah, they did. So it's not like we've got an actual independent sort of like Kenneth Starr looking into this shit. Pretty much.

Trump is looking into it. This is our first step. It's going to – the layers are going to keep peeling back of this onion. And there will be a congressional investigation. Only if the Democrats are able to get that done though, right? Because the Republicans are up for it. Lindsey Graham is like you mentioned. Lindsey Graham and Trump are like mortal enemies, right?

Exactly. That's what I'm saying so they are Republicans so there are these two very powerful Republicans your implication is that like the Republicans are not teaming up with Trump right they wanted they just did a vote to release his tax returns and like all 284 of them voted uh to keep those returns private like that to happen yesterday today or today. That seems fine to me because there's no reason for them to force him to give away his tax returns. But this is something where you had

Lindsey Graham saying, yeah, we're going to get to the bottom of any kind of Russian involvement. They're looking for ties to Russia in his tax returns. They want to know if he owes them money, if they have anything on him, etc. That's one of the reasons. I think maybe another reason is he doesn't pay taxes and they want to expose him for that.

They just pay federal taxes. Agreed, yeah. But I really don't like that Sessions, and I would say the Trump administration, is still trying to be the people looking into this Russia thing against themselves. That seems pretty crooked to me. That seems how it always goes though, right?

That's what every... That's not how it worked for Clinton. Yeah, it did work for Clinton. Because Loretta Lynch refused to recuse herself of the Clinton investigation even after she met on the tarmac for 20 minutes. Eric Holder. Not the new Clinton crime.

No, I was talking about in just this past, Loretta Lynch, our last attorney general. I was on my tennis star when they impeached Bill Clinton. Like, they had an independent person look into this. Or Eric Holder. He obstructed investigations in the Fast and Furious scandal. He was attorney general. He never stepped down.

Loretta Lynch didn't step down and recuse herself from Hillary's investigation. We need some better attorney generals I so in that way I'm glad that he recused himself because at least he's saying I'm not fit to do this so at least he didn't say like I'm not recusing myself because that would be ridiculous it's like a very little today yeah I know I'm saying I'm glad you talked to the Russians ready alive under oath he knew anyone in like he did everything he could to retain power. The question is whether he... It's not clear whether he was saying,

I didn't speak to Russians at all, or I didn't speak to any Russians regarding the campaign, was the murky area. And regardless of what that situation was, once you've said, I haven't spoke to the Russians, and then any sort of situation comes out in which you did, you should recuse yourself, so that at the very least least people can look at you and

say like, okay, he did step down and so I'll take him more seriously from here on out, whereas if he had just not recused himself, he'd be like, okay, well whatever this uncovers is probably bunk because I don't trust you to do this honestly. I hope that Jeff Sessions

has to resign. I don't like Jeff Sessions. I don't like that marijuana bullshit. It goes against everything that I like about the Trump administration, that this business-first, America-first attitude, all else be damned kind of thing that says, like, no, no, no. They're making a billion dollars a year selling marijuana, and no one has been hurt. As a matter of fact, DUI deaths have

gone down, alcohol problems have gone down, this reason, that reason, you go through all that. What I expect a Donald Trump to do, what you voted for Donald Trump to do is say, yeah, fuck everything else, a billion dollars, that's what matters, is a billion dollars that's what matters is a billion dollars and no one is is hurt for for for gaining it no i'm not going to go on go in there and mess and like spend government money to to take a billion dollars out of the pockets of the the great state of colorado or washington or the fucking district of columbia where he's fucking presiding over right now where it's also fucking legal you know i didn't like that and i hate the when when one thing is a state's rights uh question and then all of a sudden when it when they want control

over this thing oh that's a federal government kind of thing right there like no no make up your mind what's fair is fair and and i don't like your fucking i don't like being lied to either you know he he said he wasn't going to go after rec weed. He said he was going to leave it up to the states during his campaign. And to be fair to Trump, Sessions, and that administration, nothing has happened yet. And until it does start happening, you can't really prejudge them. But you can judge them based on what he said the other day, and that was that he insinuated that we're going to start cracking down

on this recreational marijuana thing. It's the law of the land etc etc and it's like no it's not what you said before and that's not what you say when it comes to guys wearing dresses so i call horseshit you know the one thing that kind of the one thing that kind of annoyed me uh with uh during his speech to the joint congress the other day is he was touting the fact that they are now going to spend the most money they ever have on national uh security or national defense and i'm just thinking to myself like why why do we need to spend so much more money on that it's like don't we already spend 600 billion dollars a year on our military it doesn't make any sense like why don't we why don't we give half of that money to nas and see what they do with it? You know, like, why do we have to spend so much?

Trump is pro-NASA. I like that. He spoke many times about giving NASA more money, being the leading nation in space, and things like that. And I like hearing stuff. Because he seems pro-bullshit, right? He's pro-everything. He does. He's pro-tax cuts.

He's pro-spending. Not pro-Mexico. Well, I mean, pro mean pro tax cuts isn't actually everyone in mexico um my staff members from mexico and he tells me how they're like around there when it comes to trump and they didn't actually give a fuck about trump until he actually became president and he actually started saying that he was going to build this wall now everyone in mexico like you get fucking killed if you wear a trump hat like He told me everyone is so anti-Trump in Mexico. It's ridiculous.

They weren't actually anti-Trump before the election, though. They are now. I guess they just didn't give a shit. Wait until next year. They'll be really anti-Trump. Wait until we start laying those fucking bricks. Guys, we're in season

one. All the character development it's all being laid exactly that's what i love about it's like a tv show it's so entertaining someone drops out every day about more corruption in the trump administration it's great i love it lots of characters leave in the first season of every show yeah this is true we already got the ned stark the um i just asked because sometimes I watch these things unfold like layers of corruption and lying under oath and recusals and resignations and shame and anti-EPA stuff

and I'm like, at what point will Trump supporters not think that he's doing a good job anymore? I guess we're not there yet. No, they're always going to love him. I think Trump supporters think he's only rising. I don't think he's done anything recently that's going to diminish his popularity. Sure, the things within his administration look bad, but they don't stick to him, at least not yet.

They just don't. After that speech the other night, I bet he's got a huge bump today in the polls. I know that the stock thing had very little to do with him. I read in depth about what the little bump in stocks the other day was all about. It was funny to see the MarketWatch version, which was newscasters think that everything is cause and effect and that everything is correlated. And if this happens, then this happens. But they're just talking. that everything is correlated and if this happens then this happens but they're just talking and then i heard the newscasters go guys who play the stock market aren't the smartest people out there

so what they're all they're doing is saying hey trump's pro business that's got to be good and it goes up and then market watch gets in the middle and explains that people were uh were what betting that the market betting short or whatever uh that the market would do a certain thing and they explained how the market like bunched up and then they all had to like cover their cover their bed and and they explain in great detail like why the the market had a little bump and then and this was two days ago and then they predicted that today it would slide and then i like turn on today and yep it's it slides right down today it was it was funny to see both sides of that thing and how neither side really seemed to know too much

about what they were talking about. A lot of times that happens. Sometimes it's difficult to explain why the market did something on any given day. Over the long term, you can usually understand the flow of money and how much debt people have, et cetera, but on a given day, why the market went up 100 points today,

well, shit, I don't know. Sometimes that's the way the ball bounces. I remember, I think it went to 15 days days but at the time we were talking about it like the markets had all gone up five days in a row but that means very little to me because i'm kind of a long-term player you know five good days is blind noise you know static but anyway uh so yeah all right i got my trump fix that's what i was looking for i thought it was a good show yeah i think so definitely scarce where can everybody find you uh you can just search up scarce on youtube this is very cool actually because like because i've been watching you guys for so long it's like it's really cool to be able to actually say something

back and you guys respond because every time i'm listening to you guys like say in the shower or something, Kyle or Mirko or Woody will say something stupid. I'll just be like, no, no. This is how it's supposed to be. But obviously you guys don't respond because it's just a video. But now it's like I can talk to you guys. You can jump in. When you said your favorite part was like being able to find friends anywhere in the world, favorite part was the access you know you're here because you're a big deal now right you can get on pka if you want and yeah exactly that i i always like even now that it still kind

of works for me and i'm i let's call me a youtube legacy right and uh but like if i wanted to get on a podcast or something like like I, I feel like my odds are pretty good. What do you mean? Me and my friends, um, when we were in like, I think middle school, when I was in middle school, I watched male Monday. I'm not even joking. And it was my entire classes to watch every male Monday.

I'm not even joking. This is so embarrassing to me now, but it's like, whatever. I mean, I liked it. And, uh, every single Monday we always talk about at lunch it was just how weird is that right and you you're so yeah yeah you said i'll also talk to the local kids at lunch but they weren't very comfortable with i was the one that got kyle out of the friend zone yeah exactly you know you helped me out with a lot of stuff when i was younger like just some of the stuff you talked about because my dad would ever talk to me about that stuff and And I don't know. You gave me

some good advice. Well, that's awesome. Thank you. Yeah. I also watch Merca. I watch Kyle. I watch a lot of FPS Russia. Kyle, that one Q&A you did where you changed your voice to the end. I was freaking out, dude. Because I always kind of

knew, but it was so cool. That was a funny video. Let me do this post roll i guess uh from legendary game designer john uh van knagum creator of heroes of might and magic series comes creature quest an adventurous rpg that brings a new level of depth and strategy to mobile games available on the app store google play and amazon download creature quest for free today and be part of the best turn-based collectible RPG. Your quest for creatures is paved with adventure. Quest on. Check out them as well as our other sponsors, Legacy

Box, Lyft, Seeso, and MeUndies, all linked down in the description below, as well as our wonderful guest, Scarce. Scarce, I think we cut you off. You can't miss his channel. It's enormous. Yeah, it's kind of a YouTube... You'll know you found his channel when you see the channel with all the videos that have five times as many views as this one. So we'll get that sub boost up.

Yeah. Alright, um... Painkiller Rain. P.K.A. 324. I don't know.