Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #326

Episode Date: March 23, 2017

This week on PKA, the guy guys talk Emma Watson leaked photos, Taylor educates us all about the Flat Earth Theory and then they go tumbling down a conspiracy theory tunnel.

We're live. Painkiller already. Episode 326. We were going to have an amazing guest. Really, not goofing. Perhaps a guest we were more excited about than any other in the history of the show. But they were unable to make it. And you know, sometimes it doesn't work out.

So in the future, we'll see. It'll be great. I don't want to go all Hodor and make sure they never come in the future. No, optimism. This is a guest we actually want maybe even more than Hodor. For sure more than Hodor. Fuck Hodor.

Hodor's out there right now. How did you deliver that line? What was your motivation? Yeah, Hodor is a bitch and this guy slays bitches wildly. Totally different. Kyle? I honestly like the shows where it's just the three of us,

but hopefully we get that guy in here sometime soon. So be on the lookout for a very, very cool guest sometime in the coming weeks. Several advertisements tonight. We've got Smart Mouth coming back to us, Audible, Dollar Shave Club, Movement Watches, Nature Box, Seeso, Creature Quest, and a brand new one, Soylent. So we'll talk about all those later on in the show, of course. And there are links in the description if you want to get a head start on that.

But yeah, it's been a fun news week. Can we bring back a little Trump talk? Is it too early? Let's not lead with it, though. I'm happy to indulge in Trump talk, but I would rather lead with almost, you know what? Fappening three. Let's lead with that. Ah, what is that uh

who's naked now i i okay all right i i for a second i thought you didn't know what the fappening was which would no i know that uh you're an internet can i lay this out there sure yeah all right so um about it is So the earliest origins of the most recent leaks were on 4chan, as far as I can tell. And I feel like we're almost bad guys by talking about this. But basically what's happened, it seems, I'm told, there's lots of photos of Emma Watson in swimsuits, like a hundred of them. Watson in her swimsuits, like a hundred of them. In swimsuits and in various dresses. It seemed

like her assistant's taking photos of her in every outfit she owns so that maybe she can, I don't know, maybe when you've got hundreds and hundreds of outfits you don't even remember them all and it's nice to have a catalog. Are they embarrassing photos or are they just, look at me and my ass? I have them. Do you want to see them? No, we shouldn't do that. Really?

Let's not do that. I want to cover this. You were all about the last time this was a thing, though. He was definitely pro-fappening in the first go-round. What I'm not pro is like... Everybody's growing a moral compass all of a sudden. You're a Rape Squad killer, bitch!

Don't forget where you came from! I just don't like disseminating the information myself. Like, it doesn't seem like it's that wide right now. But, yeah, the facts are that there's, like, a hundred or so photos of her in, like, dresses and swimsuits and stuff. And then there's, like, maybe six or eight photos of her in the bathtub with no face showing. But, of course, the Sherlock's of the internet have found every mole and every piece of jewelry and and the shapes of her chin and like done some biometric examination and sure enough is that for real or yeah i know i'm bad at this but we talked about this before like i i am the worst guy to like see a neck down nude and say yep that's definitely a man i can see faces and not be sure. 100% sure. Like, clearly these two people look similar, but aren't they?

So it's definitely her. It's a Kyle shirt. By the two freckles, right? The two freckles, like, here and her shoulder. The shape of her chin, like, everything about her. It's definitely her. And then the fact that the publicist came out and was like, oh, yeah, some photos were taken, but they're not nudes,

just so we're clear. There were no nudes taken. Like, her immediate publicist's out. Can you imagine needing that much sleuthing and buildup just to masturbate? Like, you have to be the guy who storms the beach and finds random boring pictures when there's so much to be had. You've pushed it too far at that

point. But let me finish. So there's two videos of her also in the tub sort of panning her body with the camera that are each like, I don't know, ten seconds long or something like that and then the one that that like i first saw is amanda sigfried who woody probably is much more familiar with than he normally would be because she is the daughter in true love i his look of confusion means maybe he's not but the blonde daughter in true love is uh was the first celebrity to leak and uh and like she was all over reddit and like they didn't know if it was a leak yet so they were allowing the picture to stay up and it's like her in one of those dresses that you can kind of pull

to the middle and the boobs are exposed oh she's rumored to have a sex tape anyway i don't know about that but there's uh there's four let me finish i got all the information here i promise you're like there's a rumor that What actually is, is that there's four pictures of her with the actor Justin Long who's been in Die Hard and a bunch of other films. Sucking his dick in a couple of them. And then them

naked together, hugging. And then them in front of a mirror, virtually naked. And then let's see, what else was there? Maybe that encompasses it. but no no videos of any of any of sexy time i made a mistake misha barton is the one that's supposed to have a sex tape out in the last two days or something i don't know misha barton ah that's a shame because she's just out of she she had like a nervous breakdown just a few weeks back this is really going to send her over the edge. That sucks. Poor Misha.

She was in the OC back in the day. I feel bad from the beginning. All of this stuff was provided to me via Reddit. I didn't delve through the internet or go to 4chan, go to any weird websites. This was all imager links on our all. It's just reading through the comments, trying to figure out what was up.

To me, aside from Emma Watson, I got the name, the rest of them haven't really been that a list. It was like, Oh yeah. The, the daughter of someone like a secondary character on a HBO show, or I didn't even know what was her name again? Misha Barton. There's not a person that I know I just heard celebrity sex tape I haven't seen any pictures of Misha Barton Or seen anything about her

I don't know who Misha Barton is Misha Barton was in this show called The O.C. When I was in high school it came out When I was like 16 And it's all these rich kids in Orange County And them hanging out in their drama Since then she's done a bunch of movies The existence of this sex tape is confirmed

by Misha Barton and her lawyers, and she's suing to get it off the internet, which usually doesn't work that well, but it seems to be working so far. So, that's where that is. It is a thing. I haven't seen it. I don't want to see that.

Oh, no. I would hate to see that. Please don't send me any links. I heard that it's a funny episode. Oh my god! Which website? There's so many. One of those horrible ex-girlfriend websites. There are so many. Which one? Which one did you post them to? I've seen all the

Emma Watson ones except supposedly there's a less confirmed one where she has a dildo and I haven't seen that. No, that's not a thing. No, no, I'm telling you. Are you saying it's discredited, or what? Are you saying I made it up?

Because that's not the case. I think it's made up. If you link me, I gotta see this, because I've been really on top of this thing. I haven't seen the pic. You were totally against this, and now you're asking him to link you to it you've heard a picture oh no well i can look at it i just don't want to disseminate others looking i would never say hey go to this creepy website over here where they're keeping the pictures so nobody's supposed to have i saw

this like dump of it was on reddit you know it was the emma watson subreddit i forget what it was and uh there was a dump of all her stuff. And the comments were just filled with, like, where's the one with this? Where's the one with the red dildo? Where's the one with the red? Like, everyone, it seems, had to have seen this one except me. That's like how memes start, though. It's just some asshole wrote, like, where's the one with the giant purple two-headed dong?

And then someone's like, ha, ha, ha, where's the one with the giant red three-headed dong? No, they were all asking for the same picture. They were all asking for the same picture, and it seemed like they had all seen it, but I haven't. So I don't know. And that one seems to have been less proven than the others. As you know, the detectives,

they find a freckle here and a freckle here, and they confirm it in a necklace. And they're like here's the necklace she wore to the bathtub this is some time i think that like when they found like another girl naked in the tub and they found that their little constellation pattern didn't match up between the moles and freckles that they just went back to square one or do you think they had like a defeat masturbation i want to talk about these ever watts they're not that sexy so she's already been topless she did a photo shoot or something where she was topless.

And she's in a bathtub where she's totally naked, but she's on her back and her legs are crossed. And if there's some way to be modest and naked, she is. So she has done a nude photo shoot and those are just out there. Well, a topless photo shoot. She's done a topless photo shoot. So Emma Watson's boobs are not new to this world. out there well now these are topless photo shoot she's done a topless photo shoot so emma watson's boobs are not new to this world and now there's a video of her in a bathtub but she's not doing

anything naughty in the bathtub she's i guess i guess she did that she's filming herself yeah like she's just kind of relaxing i guess taking a video probably for someone she cares about and uh it's not, I mean, she's bottomless, but her legs are crossed and everything. And there's nothing, I mean,

there's nothing hanging out, right. There's no dangling. Yeah. There's Arby's effect, right. She's, she's not,

you know, jilling or anything like that. She's just kind of, that would, that video would have exploded. Yes. I saw the bathroom shot and thought, well, this isn't that much more...

The bathtub shot. I thought this isn't that much more revealing than a shot if she wore a bikini bottom. You know, because they're like... Is that great? By happenstance, just browsing the internet, I'll come across it eventually. Yeah.

If it's not worth seeing, then other porn will rise to the top. That's what's so great about capitalism. All of that flow into what i wanted to say was this so i have thought everyone has their own version of who 10 is right who the prettiest girl on earth is and for a long time emma watson was my like version of perfection for someone else it might be kim kardashian it might be whatever but i always thought emma watson had the a certain class and look and style and jawline i'll just say it and uh and thought this you are huge on jawlines right oddly so and uh um like this is the this is the most beautiful woman on earth at the moment right like that that was my line of thinking with her once you like see the goods it was almost sexier beforehand like not to say that she's not beautiful or whatever

but this is the worst conversation no no no i don't know why kyle's so frigid all of a sudden once you see the goods it's like she's just a regular person almost. Like the, not to say that she's not beautiful or anything, but it normalizes everything. Everybody looks better in clothes,

like most of the time. Like when you, you can take a pretty overweight guy and put a fitted suit on him and you can look at that guy and be like,

that guy's actually pretty good looking. Like look at that, he's got broad shoulders, it tapers down at the waist. Even if he's a big fat fuck at the end of the, i mean obviously there's a critical mass where it's like you're not hiding shit and yeah sorry chris christie you can be

yeah chris christie's not fooling anyone but you can be like donald trump has passed in the past probably five ten years the fat threshold of where it doesn't it doesn't go above board anymore because if you watch the old apprentice him you're like that's clearly a heavy man but how heavy is he because he's an old man like old man neck often you you you give them more credence with it like when you see like a young person with a giant double jowl like that you're like they're really heavy but an old person you're like well that could just be age and skin stretching but uh yeah he's now bona fide fat and that that suit effect is wearing off point being is that of course when you see her in her little wizard outfit or whatever it was that you're like oh what's beneath those

Did I tell you that a friend of mine in middle school or when those movies were coming out who had a huge crush on Hermione and he got a Hermione cutout that was like life size Hermione for his birthday when we were all like 14. I guess she was like 14 too or whatever and so totally normal. then i went back to his room like five four years later five years later

and it was like dude why the fuck is that thing still in here like that's now just a child and he was like dude i know it looks so creepy honestly i just haven't gotten around to throwing it out and i was like i don't trust you it's it would be so quick right right throwing those out like i will be like i was just throwing away george washington and donald trump like everybody look at me but yeah don't mind that but uh yeah i i kind of understand what you mean i feel anytime this happens you feel bad for the person because obviously it is violating i feel that way it's just about her, but like all the time when there's these celebrity leaks and such, I swear like a bit of the mystique rubs off a little bit. It's not bad.

I don't know. In some aspects, it's almost cooler that they're real-life people. But, you know, yeah, you see her and you're like, oh, look at that. She's just a regular beautiful woman. You know, like I've said the thing a hundred times. Like, oh, you can walk through the middle of your, you know, local good-sized college campus and find ten women that good-looking. But for me, Emma Watson, it was like, no, you won't find any of her. Well, I meant just walk through the quad, right, at any given time.

Not pull the whole campus. And, yeah, but at any given time, there's ten people as hot as Jennifer Lawrence in the quad right at any given time not not pull the whole campus and uh yeah but at any given time there's 10 people as hot as jennifer lawrence in the quad but in my head emma watson no no no no that's a that's a one in ten thousand and then you see you're naked and you're like oh actually regular hot person oh yeah there are hundreds of girls more attractive than emma watson at every large college campus in this country and i would wager fuck you jaylen england and germany too like there are like it's just because you get that pedestal effect like you're talking about where and it's not just uh uh like putting a woman there it's you put like male celebrities or male athlete

figures there too like have you ever really liked an athlete and been like man i can't look at this interview and see what like their secret is to be in graded hockey or whatever and you listen to it and you're like oh man this guy's just really fucking athletic and all those times that i thought that he was like ah you think that i'm going left but i'm really going to go right after faking left twice you've fallen for my ruse it's like what was your thought process there i just tried to move as fast as possible. All of a sudden, he starts giving an interview like Bobby Boucher and the Waterboys. At first,

they put the ball in the hands of the quarterback. And then I start tackling the quarterback unless he puts the ball into someone else's hands. And then I start tackling them. Now to our next point, don't smoke crack. And see, and it would shatter your opinion of that person.

Or if you were watching, like, who would do it for me is Chris Pratt. Because Chris Pratt seems to be a genuinely good guy. I don't watch a lot of celebrity interviews. But all the times I've seen him on radio shows or whatever, it seems like he's a good guy. But if he just came out there in an interview and said some, like, crazy shit. Like, you know what south african apartheid was it that bad can we is would it be that bad to go back or like said something you're like oh oh no the whole time it was the it was star lord that i liked not you and andy that i

liked not you like that does happen a lot with celebrities though where you finally listen to him talk and you're just like oh it was it was the character I liked that not you. Oh, you're awful. Chris Pratt would crush me because he's one of the – like there aren't many actors I root for, right? But Chris Pratt, he could come out and star in some movie I don't give a hoot about, but I'll hope it does well because I want good things for Chris Pratt. Yeah. hope it does well because i want good things for chris pratt yeah who are some other like famous people like i know exactly what you're saying where you almost feel like you're on the same team as some famous people where when you see them do well not team because you're not getting anything out of it but you're like yeah good yeah that doesn't affect me at all and i may

never even see that but good for you is there anybody like that for you guys that every time other than chris pratt obviously yeah every time i time I see him. I like Charlie Day from It's Always Sunny when I saw him in the Pacific Rim movie. And he's in this new movie called Teacher Fight or something like that. I like seeing him do well. And John Krasinski from The Office, who played Jim, he did that 13 Hours Michael Bay movie last year

about Benghazi that did really well and made a bunch of money. And then I just read that he's like writing producing maybe acting in like this this whole new film that he so it seems like he's got he's he's got some uh i don't know the ability to do what he wants now so i like i like seeing those people do well anybody who i who was in like a tv show that maybe didn't get the the run it should have gotten also. I think the guy's name is maybe Nathan Fillon or something like that. He was in Oh, Nathan for you?

Serenity? Yeah, the movie was Serenity and the TV show was Firefly. Is that Eyebrows? Whenever I see him in something and Scott Bakula also. Whenever I see... I don't know. There's a bunch of guys who were in like the sci-fi stuff from the 90s

and the 80s that like I really dig like that shit that I like to see them do well the guy who played I can't think of his name right now but he played like Kyle Reese in the first Terminator movie and he was the guy who gets burnt with the acid in the Aliens movie he was always like

he played Ringo in Tombstone he was the one who was always like um i think he played ringo in uh tombstone he was he he was the one who was always picking on doc holiday calling him longer and stuff and they have to shoot out at the end like that guy never really seen terminator or aliens you fucking asshole oh that's fucking are you serious yeah i haven't seen terminator before is it good look terminator is excellent all right but. I knew that would get you. Terminator 1 and 2 are both excellent, excellent movies, but you could just throw those out because Alien and Aliens, which is what they call the sequel, are so

goddamn good. You've got Ridley Scott making the first one, and it's like a horror film in space with Sigourney Weaver in one of her early performances killing it. You can feel the tension. In the movie, all the other actresses hate her because she's the star and this new actress and they're like established british actresses and so like there's a scene where they need to slap sigourney she actually slaps the piss out of her like oh what a way into the second movie uh like james

cameron goes to paramount or whoever and like he's like i got something for you he writes alien on the board and then he writes an s on the end and he draws's like I got something for you he writes alien on the board and then he writes an s on the end and he draws two lines through the s for a dollar sign he goes ah and you're like yes yes that so so he takes over and he makes Terminator 2 but this time instead of a horror film it's an action movie with all these pumped up testosterone guys going to fight the aliens so you get a completely different movie about the same thing which do you i would argue that they're both space horror movies i i well the second one doesn't taste no well everyone else would disagree with you that the first one is a is considered a horror like a space war film the second one is considered like a

uh a sci-fi action film um it's it there it's it's it's very different if you if you watch them both i'm not usually scared of action films and i was i was a kid when i watched it and it was just terrifying to me yeah but like rambo is action film and it's not scary that's not scary because you don't fear for rambo they don't impregnate you with a fucking uh organism that's going to burst out of your chest right they just cut you a little with their knife and try to get you to renounce democracy. Commando or Rocky or whatever. But when I watched Aliens,

like, I'm hiding under my blanket as a kid. So is Alien a movie that, and I only know of Alien and Terminator from references people make. So is Alien a horror movie that I could watch tonight after this or something?

And like it, or would it be something where I'm watching it going like, I see how this was good in 79. But, no? If you look at IMDB ratings, it's Rotten Tomato ratings, both movies, the original and the sequel, are way way up there at like, I'm gonna guess

at least like high 8's but probably probably 9.1, 9.3, somewhere up there. They're both super high-rated films. They hold up well. And the special effects hold up well, everything, because it's a lot of practical effects. There's actual guys in alien suits running around covered in lubricant, like astrogel like goofing off of them it's uh it's all real there's no cgi there's there's cgi for the spacecraft i suppose unless they're using so you would prioritize alien and aliens over terminator for sure yes and that and and saying that you got to keep in mind my grandmother was a huge arnold schwarzenegger fan

and like i was watching like terminator and terminator 2 as a 5 year old or whatever. I probably wasn't old enough for Terminator 2 quite yet. It came out like 91 or 92 but I watched that shit as a kid and she was like a huge Arnold fan and like Terminator 2 special effects still hold up today. Terminator 1 is not as good as Terminator 2.

You could skip that one entirely and just go into Terminator 2. That's definitely my advice. Because those are just two movies that are referenced so much at this point i'm tired of pretending i'm tired of going oh total uh yeah that character in that situation my god i remember think about it i never really have the first terminator is much more of a horror film uh uh than the second one is the second one is much more of an action thing because in the second one arnold schwarzenegger is the good guy uh you know he's a he's a he's a he's the same version of a machine but he's been programmed to be good so he gets to lead you know he gets to be

the big action lead so it's more of an action movie and you're you're often not that afraid for the characters unless the things get really dicey but in the first one it's a human being it's that uh that kyle reese guy that i was talking about was also in the in aliens and it's just him versus fucking schwarzenegger and the whole time you're like oh shit is schwarzenegger here well we're fucked we're fucked because he's just like just slow walking punching through windshields just a never never ceasing killing robot smart zombie with muscles i don't know yeah it's like night of the living dead but you shoot him in the head and he just gets right back up this i think i i know the reason i just never was interested in it is now that i'm thinking about it the only one of those movies

i've ever seen was i saw alien verse predator in theaters when i was like 14 or 15 that's that was pretty probably 14 and it i was watching it and i was like god this, this is maybe – I was like, this is not good. I don't like this. I don't want either one of these sides to win, but I know whatever one does win, I'm going to be like, that is bullshit. That alien has that mouth thing. That's bullshit. The Predator could have just jumped up and flew away and taken him down

with a rifle from a helicopter-style attack or whatever. Did you see the one – there's a couple of them. Did you see the one where they go into the ice pyramid in like Antarctica or something like that? That might have been the first one. That one's okay, whenever they go like into the ice pyramid and you learn that there's this whole like backstory where the predators had been

like ruling over mankind during like the Aztec times and like they were sacrificing the humans to create the xenomorphs so that they could then hunt them. And then they just like destroyed that whole society with a big nuclear weapon. They killed people to summon things that they could then let go and hunt? So the way the metamorphosis of the xenomorph alien things work, they have like the mouths inside the mouths.

An egg hatches and this thing called a face hugger sleuths out of it and wraps around your face it looks like some sort of deep sea creature with like legs yeah that's impregnating you with an egg that egg's gonna hatch out and uh or with a little parasite and that's the chest burster that thing stays inside of you for a couple of days and then all of a sudden it bursts out of your chest and uh and you know it runs away and it grows in the course of like a few days into a big like seven foot tall killing machine it's funny now that you mention it i don't really understand how the life cycle works right because they grow from eggs into monsters the monsters implant themselves to people and then they grow into monsters what are the people for exactly we've already proven that usually parasite like if you can be a host to a like a parasite won't come like a ringworm or a tapeworm or something would not jump into you kyle and start

eating and oh you know what i'm feeling full i'm out of here and then you leave and you're like oh i've been inconvenienced like like no it's it's not going to leave once it's there. Like a parasite would stay, suck all the energy till you're a husk and then come out. Like it happens everywhere else in all of nature, right? It wouldn't eat half your spleen and then dart. I could be wrong about this, but I...

But there are parasites that just... So the xenomorphs are a biological weapon. So the xenomorphs are a biological weapon created by the engineers. And that ship that was found on the the original planet it is a bomber it would drop those eggs and and they're they're meant to to eradicate humanoids you know these are artificial creatures that are not biological basically they're biologically engineered creatures yeah and they've got this black now i could be a little bit wrong about the you know, got my chicken ahead of the egg or something in this case.

Because there's the most recent movie where they go back to the planet. I can't think of the fucking name. But they go to the planet and there's the black ooze that creates the Xenomorph. There's a lot of movies you need to watch. But, yeah, just watch Alien and Aliens. You'll like it a lot. Do you guys want a new topic? Yeah.

I don't know if this want a new topic yeah i don't know if this is a good topic or not but i've been excited about it for quite some time all right now i feel bad like four days it might flop as a topic we don't do these but there's kind of a is he an asshole like vibe to this thing so i got this from i am very smart are you guys familiar with it at all yes typically what happens is someone will say something and really inflate their own intelligence or whatever so taylor i'm at our time talking can you read this to everybody yeah uh so it's starting it's like a group chat text it says if i shoot you in the head and tell you to dodge five minutes after it's not better late than never the next response is well it's

not a matter of life and death in this case so your point is invalid here response from the original guy don't argue with me i'm infinitely more intelligent than you you're wrong next guy how do you measure your intelligence the other guy guy, can you both stop? Okay. And then that's it. So clearly, the I'm infinitely more intelligent than you nonsense. Like, that guy's a dick, right? Let's set that aside. He's a candidate for am I very smart. What I want to know is how do we feel about Victor, right?

Victor is my – Victor is the one who said, can you both stop? And he did. Right. You know what? I'm against him already because i hate those like there are can i lay it out there are people who say victor is the only smart one here victor is the guy you know he's the only guy with a brain he's saying can you both stop etc and then there are people like me and maybe taylor too who say fuck victor fuck victor you fucking cunt. You need to be liked by everybody. You can't take a side. You somehow elevate your own position above everyone else. If two adults disagree on anything, then you need to be like, no, you both stop. You're both wrong. Dude, Sidney's a cunt. Sidney thinks that he's infinitely smarter than the other person.

And Victor, rather than saying like, hey, that's a little odd. No, both of you are bad. As if they were like equally wrong or whatever. Kyle, where do you stand on this Victor issue with the can you both stop? To be honest, I'm very anti-group text message.

Knowing you has made me take this stance. I've been in this corner for a long time we are welcome i would thumb down victor's post here open arms yeah the non-group chat corner i don't know i if you guys were saying something as stupid as this i might say something like that too because it would immediately about it would immediately head down some weird rabbit hole with you both like providing credentials or something like what comes next right like like you like text messaging pictures of degrees and like and like taylor sending some college transcripts like like you just and and you know

transposed onto these guys and put myself in victor's shoes i'm like fucking stop like like i and who knows where victor is maybe he's like in the like like like trying to text somebody else and these notifications keep popping up with this poor shit. God knows what madness these two were talking about just prior to this. I doubt it was highbrow. I doubt it was highbrow, too. I'm okay with the both of you stop because it's a group text, and it is annoying as shit when you're trying to organize something in a group text

and be like, hey, we're going to meet here this time this time and it's like there and everybody can just open their text and see what the plan is and then 60 more people come in and go oh i saw this cool movie oh this is a real neat thing oh that's great oh you're a fucking asshole oh i hate you too fuck you oh dislike like smiley face frowny face all that it's like god damn it like just stop if you want to text someone just text them but we're trying to organize something here so for that reason i'm not upset by it but i don't like those hand emojis and i especially hate those hand emojis where people don't have a point and to make their non-point seem impactful they clap between every word on twitter with those clapping emojis as though they're just like some gospel singer in a Southern Baptist church just preaching

the truth as they're clapping intermittently. Do you believe in the Lord? And the music's like, dun-dun! I haven't seen this tweet. I don't watch a black church. What I don't like is when people type anything and capitalize every word if we're going to go towards text

offenses. I find every single word capitalized to be the most difficult to read. I'd take all caps above capitalizing every word in the whole thing you say. I feel very threatened when I read all caps, like I'm being accosted. You know, though, like, see, it might be my exposure. My father and some other people who weren't good at typing, but when they were first getting into computers, they would just do all caps.

It was like an office standard before that was a ridiculous standard. Like, yeah, when we do 10 forties here, the names and addresses, cause it's not a lot of text. Uh, when is it? I kind of like this idea.

So when would that be a problem though? Like, like of course, like if you're trying to, when would that be an issue? I feel like it faded into looking outdated. You know, like all caps back in like – I'll make it up, 1997 or something. Like people were – whatever.

But in 2017, it looks outdated to me. Do you want to know a perfect reason of why it's a bad idea? Pull up a Google Street View or just a street view of a busy storefront area in Russia. They don't have lowercase. Everything is screaming at you. It could be a baby's R-Us, and it looks so aggressive because there is no differentiation in letter size. Like, obviously, it's because we were raised in English

where we have normal-looking letters that don't look like they emulated some cave scrawling with their bullshit. Like, have you seen some of those letters? It's like they made a U, and then they were like uh it was just too close to the english one we won't give them the satisfaction to put a little squiggle at the end have you worked with russians have you worked with any russians uh i've worked with two i don't recall if he's russian they seemed very comfortable with conflict right just like every meeting like they're they're yelling at you when they're not even mad at you

just like you know i think we should be doing this and you're like god i'm fine with that you know like should i be fighting you right into two jerks that's what both those russian guys are saying to each other can you believe that woody guy i gotta scream at him to get him anything understand anything. Yes, I scream at him too. It's ridiculous. Woody's like, can you believe those Russians? What an asshole. I've called me Igor for two weeks.

I've said my name is Ivan. I've called him for how many times? Dude, leave a comment. If you work with any Russians or interact with any Russians, or maybe there's like a part of Russia. Maybe they're like, ah, yeah, Woody works with Georgians or something. I don't know.

But, yeah, the Russian guys I worked with, and it wasn't me. Like, I remember other, like, coworkers were like, you know, I forget his name. It wasn't simple like Ivan. It was like Dravosky or something. And, but, yeah, this woman I was talking to, she's like, yeah, he yells at me all the time. And I'm like, yeah. To me, though, it's not yelling anymore.

It's just like someone who types in all caps and doesn't know better. It's just that's his talking style. His cat's key is broken. He can't help it. Just know that. Right, right. I bet if we learn Russian, we go over there and they're like, these Americans, why are they whispering all the goddamn time? Like, that's not how Russians make me swear.

They yell. You might know someone who drops F-bombs, maybe me, in like every sentence they have. And they're not that impactful, right? People from Boston. Yeah, right? Or, but if you know someone who rarely ever curses and they drop it, it's like you need to settle down right people from charlotte yeah so that's how the russians were with yelling for me right they were like people who use the f-bomb in every sentence it's just like yeah that's that's normal language for him you know when the sopranos said you know oh this fucking car needs fuel you weren't

like oh my god he's about to blow his stack. I remember learning that whole concept as a kid because it may surprise both of you, but the main reason I ever got in trouble in school ever was being a smart ass and talking too much. I know, shocking. But I remember sitting in a fourth grade classroom and I was way too talkative. And my teacher called on a kid who never raised his hand philip in the back never

raised his hand and when he raised his hand to say something and give his opinion on whatever stupid bullshit it was about the pilgrims or something everybody got quiet and she was like see if you don't speak often people will listen because they care about what you have to say and i was like wow that's not going to impact my behavior whatsoever, but that's good to file away until I'm older, you know, because no one's like, I can speak as slowly and tactfully as I wish, but they're going to be like, all right, just grab your second milk. I give in.

You didn't bring the one milk chip. Just take two. Jesus Christ, I don't have time for this. I'm a stay-at-home mom who volunteered today. How does a lunch checkout work at your school? What did you say, a lunch chip? Yeah, so they basically, you could get a one or a two, meaning you get a single smaller lunch

or the same shit for lunch, but it's slightly larger portions. I'm picturing a... Is this like a poker chip? A poker chip, yep. It'd be like a red poker chip or a blue poker chip. Who assigned the poker chips, and where did you purchase them?

This is grade school, and so it was like your parents could sign up for the hot lunch thing, and they'd be like, all right, you get a two or you're only in second grade so you just get a one or you're a growing boy, whatever. And so then before lunch, they'd line you all up and you have your line leader and your line vanguard, I don't know, whoever's in the rear of your line.

And then she goes to the teacher, a line caboose, and they give you, they go, all right, Taylor, you're a two today. And they give me my blue chip. I'm like, ah, fuck yeah, because as a kid it was a surprise every day. You had no idea what your plan was. And so you get it, and then they go to the next kid. You get a red one.

It was like getting roses in The Bachelor. Like people were distraught if it was hot dog day or pizza day and they got a red one and expecting a blue one. Like a lot of trades and bartering in our lunchroom. But, yeah, then you go through the line, give them your chip, and then they give you two pieces of pizza for a blue one or one for a blue one. Like a lot of trades and bartering in our lunchroom. But yeah, then you go through the line, give them your chip, and then they give you two pieces of pizza for a blue one or one for a red one, and then you get the rest of your shit. It was either blue or red or some color.

This is bizarre to me. Yeah, yeah. Do you just pay with money? Yeah, right? Okay, so in my school, like from elementary school all the way through high school, you just put in the last four digits of your social security number into a keypad at the end of the lunch line, and that was it. No, we weren't even that sophisticated.

Every day, your mom would give you cold, hard cash, and then you would exchange that for food. You could do that. I have this much money. What can I get? A bag of chips and three carrots oh it's gonna be a rough afternoon exactly yeah or it would be like all right all right i have no other source of income so if i can make it through school on just like a thing of milk then i'll earn a dollar 15 today and you know you do that a couple of times and and now you're in the money and let

me say that poker chip thing only went up to like fifth grade i think and then after that when you're in high school and middle school and whatever you use money to purchase things but even then like actually yeah i pretty much bought lunch every day because it only costs like 4.75 to get a decent lunch and yeah it wasn't it wasn't great, though. $1.25. $1.25? That's, oh, were there really good lunches? $1.25 is what, like, fries cost. I'm with Kyle. Look, those lunches were shit, okay?

They were very bad. I still remember many of them. I remember that square, that rectangular slice of pizza. I remember that corn with the water in it, that corn soup they gave us basically I remember those tater tots that were always baked never fried and steak nuggets if you were unlucky

those were disgusting it looked like a chicken nugget but it was dark meat on the inside it could have been anything you know what we did have? I guess, you know when the student runs for class president and they say they're going to get all these things done? Apparently, a class president before my class got there

implemented a salad bar. And you could fill the bowl up as much as you wanted. So it would be like, you'd have a regular size bowl, but it could be a good 18 inches of salad if you can balance that shit like to your day and um you know it had like it had like real chicken you know that where you could like see grain like it wasn't just chicken paste and uh yeah and they had like white meat chicken and bacon and like it was a decent salad bar and every so often i'd be like you know i'm gonna do

that instead but it almost felt like a jailbreak from the processed mass-produced food that most people were getting how does a class president implement any fucking thing like i want to know that because like whenever like i remember that came up a couple times and and everybody was like who fucking wants to do that isn't it just an extra like a couple afternoons a month that you don't get to do what you want and like nothing comes of it yeah pretty much also we get an extra photo in the yearbook and then some vain cocksucker decided he wanted that and just did it but like it wasn't like you sat down at the like you were like a legislator or something and you were like like, all right, we'll open this session. We've got the superintendents from all the surrounding areas

and Kyle, class president from Franklin County. All right, what would you like to change, Kyle? Like that was never going to happen. You had nothing to say so in anything. It was much like the U.S. government, except that instead of the president being able to veto stuff if you didn't have two-thirds, he could veto stuff under any circumstance. And that's how it works.

The president can do nothing at the school, though. The principal is the president. I didn't explain it very well. But yeah, the principal is the top guy. The principal is the dictator. He is Saddam Hussein of the Iraq that is your school. And he puts a meaningless figurehead who he knows will be beheaded at least like six, seven days before they make it to him, so it's kind of like a buffer zone. And that's what the

school president was for. Sunni. Shiite. Do you know anything about Sunnis and Shiites? We've been retaining information recently. I just went through the difference between the Sunnis and the Shiites I think it goes back

to after Muhammad died there were two different trains of thought and half the Muslims thought that they should go with this one guy and half of them thought they should go a different direction and that was the split and it literally goes back to Muhammad's death and I think that I don't remember whether it was the split. And it literally goes back to like Muhammad's death. And I think that like,

I don't remember where the Sunnis or the Shias, but those went with like Muhammad's friend who has a name. Like you always, it sounds like a modern name. It is a modern name. The other guy's name is the current leader of ISIS is named for that guy.

Eric Richardson. No. I'm like, get out. No way is his name Eric. No. Eric Richardson, head of ISIS. This is Eric and Alan. Alan's a COO.

I'm worse than Kyle. Because I'll develop expertise on Sunni and Shiite and it lasts for 15 minutes. I've done this several times. Do you know which one of them is a better ally to America at the moment? Either of them? None of them? I'm on their Wikipedia page. You're right. As soon as I close

this out, I'll forget. That's what I would do. No, I don't know. I don't remember. There definitely is one, of course, right? But in the end, it's just the enemy of my enemy. Which one is the good one? It always seems like the Kurds are the good one. It's like Koreans, where there's a good one and a bad one or anything.

I don't think it's quite that clear cut or anything. I think the Kurds always seem to be on our side because they need help the most like they're the smallest minority and and you know they they always seem to be pro us kyle's giving you a look like i'm wrong so i'm not i might be out of date i'm trying like i'm analyzing what you said in my brain and trying to make sense of it i'm trying to like think if i know if the kurds are uh are named for for the region in Kurdistan that they live in, or because of their religious beliefs. Are there Sunni and Shia Kurds, was my thought process. I think we're pretty ignorant about the whole thing.

It's pretty hard to talk about. I think we are pretty fucking ignorant about this. No one will bring—we're totally ignorant about this, but I mean, we're finding articles. We're trying. totally ignorant about this but i mean we're finding articles we're trying but uh so sunnis greatly outnumber shiites by nine nine nine to one globally so sunnis are the much much much bigger group says that the style of prayer differs shiites and sunnis pray differently sunnis cross their arms while shiites keep their arms by their sides. Sunnis observe five daily prayer sessions. Shiites condense the five prayers into three

sessions. So I guess you do like one and a third prayer. Sunnis have stars apart thars and Shiites do not. This is like, you know the Dr. Seuss book, Butterside Up vs. Butterside Down. And there's like those two towns

where people are just furious uprising against one another where they're like scolding and beating their children like don't you be talking to that butter side up boy one more time i swear to fucking god and but she has to go over the wall and talk that's what it seems like a very minor difference but maybe god really cares where your hands are when you're when you're praying and in front to the side but if he's really that strict about hand placement, I think he'd be very upset by you prorating your five prayers into three sessions that day, right? Like if he told you five. God really likes praise, right?

I feel like if one group tells God he's awesome three times a day and the other group says it five times a day, God's totally going to be pro five times a day. Based on what I know of God, he really likes being told he's awesome three times a day and the other group says it five times a day God's totally gonna be pro five times a day based on what I know of God he really likes being told he's awesome here's another he's an interesting one that's small that's the bigger difference so Shiites which is the smaller group are governed by more hierarchical structures following living religious leaders but Sunnis which is the large group typically follows scholarly texts penned by past religious leaders. So that would be –

Yeah, maybe one of them – one of them they followed the Imams, and one of them followed clerics or something like that. There was a couple distinctions. I think – which one is the – I guess the more prevalent one would be the one that Iran is because I also remember them talking about that the Iranians were all of one kind. And I think that – Iranians didn't call Sunni then. I think – wasn't Saddam Hussein a Shiite? Was that the Iranians were all of one kind. And I think that... Iranians were all Sunni then. I think, wasn't Saddam Hussein a Shiite? Was that the deal? I have no idea.

He's dead now. Yeah. Reverence of Imam Ali and his family. Shiites continue to observe what they consider to be Imam Ali and his descendants' persecution and revere his family, making annual pilgrimages to shrines to the Imam and his descendants' persecution and revere his family, making annual pilgrimages to shrines to the imam and his 11 descendants. Alright, so Ali, I think,

was Muhammad's buddy and he's also the guy that the current leader of ISIS is named for. Ah. I think it's like something Ali al-Baghdadi or something. That's probably wrong. That sounds right, al-Baghdadi. If I Google that, I'll find something.

Yeah. I believe Derek Richardson, so it sounds fine to me. Derek Richardson. He founded the Sunni religion. It's like, get out. Really? The 800 AG. If Eric Richardson is a leader in any religion, it is Mormon.

Boom. You're right. You're correct. That guy is in Salt Lake City right now making decisions. So watching Big Love has gotten me interested in LDS, and so I start doing my research. How far are you? How far are you? Oh, I'm in the final season, like three episodes into it.

But watching that has gotten me a little bit interested in LDS and Mormons and their whole thing and what they're about. And especially like the secret. So there are Mormon churches that anyone can go into. We could walk right into one. But then there are Mormon temples. That's not the same thing. And the temples are magnificent. I live next to one in Apex.

They're on the level of like a Catholic cathedral or something. They're outrageous. They're really ornate and beautiful. Apparently, the inside is as well. There's all these hidden camera videos of what it looks like on the inside and stuff like that. I don't know the particulars of the religion,

but I think there's a ritual where they reach through the veil, which is literally reaching through some sheer curtains and like shaking hands with a priest or something like that and it's supposed to be the hand of god they're they're pretty kooky too um i think that honestly my honest opinion is that they're as much of a cult as scientology is because you know the the whole thing is that the angel moroni led joseph smith to some golden tablets buried in upstate New York like a couple hundred years

ago or something and then he read those golden tablets while they're inside of a hat to another guy who transcribed the Book of Mormon for us. I don't know, I see them like easily one echelon below Scientology because Joseph Smith didn't have a driver's license. He's not like, you can't

find footage of him struggling to find you know the towels section of walmart and having to ask him like there are photos of him but are there there are photos of them and he died he was uh he was that he was beaten to death by a mob i believe yes i think uh some good old missouri boys took care of that sure did uh there used to be a lot of them here because they were like Jefferson City area that's where the Garden of Eden is and the Missourians here at the time were

not playing their game and so but it actually went both ways. There was a Mormon war between Mormons and native not native but people in Missouri at the time who were living there and Mormons like raided a couple of villages and like killed people to steal supplies.

And then the people who were living in, at that time, I guess it was only Missouri, fought back, drove them all the way to Utah. So they didn't even stop in Colorado. They first saw, they smelled that future skunk smell, and they knew it was immoral. And so they kept going to Utah and made their beer weak and shitty and expensive and but they're super nice to everybody around them so you second if you've ever all mormons are pretty cool the second link i sent is the mormon temple right by my house i couldn't go in it or anything but if you guys have ever seen me like make a video where i walked to the post office this was across the street and this is the same distance as the post office yes that actually

is a pretty pretty nice temple. I know probably the Raleigh one or the Atlanta one is really magnificent, but this is just random apex. I think that there's one temple that's the temple. You know what I mean? This is the White House of Mormon temples or whatever. I could be wrong, but I think this photo I just linked is it. If it's not, what's bigger than this? Jesus Christ.

Although, now that I'm looking, there are bigger ones. They're huge. There is a first class temple, though. They've got bigger ones. They're outrageous. I'm going to link you to the Salt Lake City one. Thank you. That's what I was looking for, the big one. It looks like

what you'd buy a young girl for a playhouse, except it's obviously... Wow. It looks like what you'd buy a young girl for a playhouse, except it's obvious. Wow. Yeah, it looks like one of those 3D puzzles you would spend three hours on and then fucking quit and throw away. If you saw a bunch of Ents stopping around

this area, it would take you a second and be like, oh, that's not Isengard. Because it's very, very epic. Gilead is nowhere near here so yeah it's really nice it's really nice that is very very smell salt water my next house oh my god can you imagine cleaning that with your like 500 bottles of ice sauce scrubbing the palisades of hundreds of years of shit because you're the kind of person that would

you're like i'm not gonna live in this beautiful castle and not make sure everybody's seen all the parts of the beautiful castle i'm gonna take off from the roof jackie you know he's got one of those window washer trolleys out on outside it takes all day just to clean the windows i have a big love question for you you said that you were curious about my take on morality within the framework of um big love but i think at the time i was so early in the show like what were you referring to was it the the fourth i oh what i i think maybe what i said was that that bill does some things that I think are morally questionable and that you eventually see that. I think it's his premarital sex that he has with the fourth.

I think that's inappropriate. Yeah, it's a really tricky – like it doesn't – so for me, like the marriage is the union, right? That bond between the two partners. He also is very manipulative of Don, the flat-topped, buzz-cutted gentleman. You think? Oh. See, I'm multitasking oftentimes when I watch it, and I think I might be missing some of the details that you pick up.

But I remember at one point, one of his wives was like, look, our husband's dating life is none of our business. And I don't know, somehow that burned in my head like wait what like yeah it's meant to it's meant to strike you like what the fuck did she just say yeah that's like one of those check boxes that i guess maybe you just have to grit your teeth and check when you're getting into that lifestyle so when when he brings her in as a wife they all decide right they all vote them in um and uh my understanding is sometimes when people get involved in polygamy this is the woman they almost like the other wives as much or

more than the husband like that the real attraction is this like team or the lifestyle right you know like like these sister wives and i are going to form a tight-knit little village and we're going to raise these kids as a big family. Yeah, it seems to be as much about the wife-husband relationship as it is about the greater whole that she's joining. Yeah, definitely so. Right, and in the case of Big Love, it's not a great, great whole. It's two or three or four wives and the guy, right?

So it's not like the town they're joining. It's it's it's this little team with three houses and connected yards. And but it was weird to me that in the dating process, the existing wives like the the culture seems to be you keep your nose out of it. You know, does he ever bring all the wives into one bedroom? No. And sleep with all of them at once never no that would be they would all be like oh are you crazy oh that's disgusting like that's of course where all of our minds go to right but that's like not a thing then

this entire thing is a non-starter for me i don't know like what's the point i tell you i want even more way more responsibility than i can handle and like a 50th of the power because now I'm delegating it through huge swaths of people I'm making. See, now that's the thing. The husband leads this little train. They vote, but the husband has veto power. Ah, so it's a symbolist. And the husband can always just be like, all right now, dadgummit, we're going to get straight on this one way or another. Now, you need to think about this, Marjean.

You think about it, and we're going to set this straight. And it'll just get fixed. That's right. And what he's saying is, Marjean, you need to change your mind. And she'll be like, all right, well, so long as my protest was registered. There's one part where Marjean in particular, she doesn't care. He's like, all right. He wants to do this

gambling company and he's worried that wife number one, his bottom bitch, is going to be anti-gambling because they are super hardcore LDS. And so he goes to Marjean, wife number three, the pretty cute one, first and he's like, Marjean, honey, I got this company and it's going to be a real

nest egg for us. It's going to give us financial security. The only thing is it involves gambling, and some people don't like that very much. And she's like, well, what do you think about it? And he's like, well, actually, I want to know what you thought about it. She's like, oh, I don't care, Bill. You just tell me what I should think. And he's like, well, I'd like it if you were on board.

And she's like, well, I am. All right, well, I'm going to need you to help the others get in line on this like like you plant the seeds margine and it's like okay how much politicking you would have to do so much oh he does it this guy like in some ways he's a flawed guy but in some ways oh my god what an amazing achiever he's a great husband on some scorecards i mean depending how you measure him but man like he he really seems to have a lot of like love and affection for this gigantic family as a breadwinner he's a home run hitter and uh he just got a couple what did he do business-wise that you thought was crooked ish hmm so's a, he doesn't always give all the

information to his business partners, the Utes, no, they're not the Utes, the, uh, whatever those Indians are that he's dealing with, um, he has, I don't want to spoil anything for you, because I don't know where you are, but there's some stuff that gets in the way of his business, and getting the gambling licenses and stuff, and it's his fault,

not theirs. They think it's because of a dispute they have with another tribe, called the Utes, but in reality, it's some of not theirs they think it's because of a dispute they have with another tribe called the Utes but in reality it's some of Bill's bullshit that he's doing behind the scenes that he shouldn't be doing anyway that has come back to bite him and it's slowing things down he doesn't come forward that information to his Indian business partners he lets them go on thinking that they are the cause for this pickup um I mean, I guess maybe we all probably do the same thing when our families are on the line. And we also have the, Bill has the thought,

and we would probably have the thought, like, I'm going to fix this. Like, I have, like, this is in, we're business partners. It's in both of our best interests for me to get this roadblock out of the way. I don't want to, like, come forward with some information that makes me look shitty. So that's not that bad, I guess.

I don't like how he treats Don. I feel like he manipulates Don. As you get into season four, you'll see him be kind of shitty to Don, I think. I don't know. I think the whole thing is kind of fucked. I don't like that they seem to turn a real blind eye to what goes on

in that compound and Roman with that 15-year-old girl and all that. Despite the fact that she's a sociopath and, and is probably the most evil character in the show. She's an interesting character. I'm glad. So there's a girl named Rhonda. She's about 15.

She's a great actress. She's a great singer. She's really smart, but she's a pathological liar, sociopath, like evil person. And in spite of the fact that she's 15 she seems to wield a big hammer a lot like she'll be talking to the press she's getting herself rescued by some other

like group of adults and then you know but like there's a cop that is her new stepdad and with that cop she's able to like leverage his power and she just always seems to be a formidable opponent for fellow teen or grown-up alike and um it's it's fun to watch her do her thing yeah it's a it's a good show if anybody's got it's his big love and i and i've been watching of course because bill paxton died a couple weeks ago felt real bad about that like bill paxton he's in aliens uh he's got a big he's over, bro! It's game over! I have a new topic. I think we should do an ad read or two

and then... Take us away, Kyle. Tell everyone a bit about Smart Mouth here. This episode of PKA is being brought to you by Smart Mouth. Let's see here. Oh, you got a little Smart Mouth over there yourself. You should do a little demonstration while I read this.

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You shouldn't be like, man, those wings were great, or, oh, man, this gum is, this juicy fruit is still good. Like, no, you want it to be neutral. Like, you don't want your breath to smell like anything really you want it to not smell like garbage or be covered like lysoling a bad fart it just doesn't work well this episode of painkiller painkiller already is also being brought to you by audible audible is a leading provider of premium digital spoken audio information and entertainment on the Internet.

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a novel of revenge by author michael punk and uh narrated by holter graham i also like the martian a lot uh i'm like 30 30 or 40 percent through the martian um yeah i don't know this part of the pitch they want us to say but um if you use amazon a lot and you're an audible guy they're somehow they're related so we get like free books sometimes and it's kind of cool like it's a nice way to do it like i think what it is is sometimes we'll say like i'll give us the slower shipping and you get credits towards like digital downloads and stuff yeah and um i just got another free book recently i i forget what i got it's from the author of crush it it's like a business book and i'm going

to listen to it next week on the way to Florida. But yeah, I don't know. We're happy with our article. We're genuine customers, and we still keep it. It's been over a year. So that's a thing. New topic?

That's awesome. Sure. All right. I've got lots of bullshit conspiracy theories to talk about too because I've been doing an Alex Jones level of research, which is to mean cursory at best. Do you to do mine or yours yeah we can do yours all right

so let me just double check that all this stuff is pg-13 it is oh we're gonna get to pg-13 we're going big time this is claire baby legs do you guys know who this is was she on our show you're a good Claire baby legs. Do you guys know who this is? Was she on our show? You're a good cop, baby legs. So you might remember Basher. Basher is the guy that was mostly falsely accused of being a pedo by Keemstar for like a year. He did that meltdown video

where he was going to kill himself afterwards, but Claire actually stopped him. You guys don't know this drama? Vaguely. I remember hearing something about afterwards, but Claire actually stopped him. You guys don't know this drama? Vaguely? I remember hearing something about it, but it doesn't... So I think the truth behind the Basher thing is, like, he was 18 and he was dating a 15-year-old, but he was in a state that had especially restrictive laws,

and he actually got... I'm going to call it a misdemeanor. I'm not sure what it was, but he had his police thing done on him, and a psychologist looked and said, this guy's not a pedo. They were developmental peers or whatever. He was just in a state where 18 and 15 was a no-go. And Keemstar reported it and got a lot of the facts wrong.

Changed him to be like 28 years old and her to 13. And it nearly drove him to kill himself. Well, this is his girlfriend. And I don't know what's true. This is the young, the 14th or 15th? No, no, this is a later, I'm sorry. This is his girlfriend at the time of the drama, not of the police report.

That girl is no longer in his life. So she has just recently become a, what's a nice way to say cam whore? A cam model. Okay, alright. Cam model. If we say what it is in different words we can pretend it's not the same thing. Yes, a cam model. And

it's kind of Doesn't a cam whore have to get paid by cameras to fuck them or something? I'm not sure if cam whore is quite accurate either. I mean, she's a Cam mob. That's true. Those are some moving goalposts that it's hard to nail down. So we'll say mob.

Yeah, she's not fucking anybody for money per se. Although she did list herself as a sugar baby, which is someone who's on the other end of a sugar daddy type relationship. Let me see if I can hunt down her like token levels like how much it pays how much you have to pay to get her to do different token levels what does that mean so you you can't see that um see i've never used a site like this yeah you change dollars to tokens and then you pay them to do things oh my god so it's just like if you buy gems in some freemium game or they try and fool you into thinking that three coins is enough to look at tits but it's just like if you buy gems in some freemium game where they try and fool you into thinking that three coins is enough to look at tits, but it's actually

like 30 bucks or something? Yeah, pretty much. And the girls set their own prices for things and their own menu, of course. So if you're very conservative, you might be like, oh, I'll flash my boobs for $5. But then there might be a girl who's like, oh, I'll turn on all of these crazy contraptions and

dress up as D.Va from Overwatch for 150 credits, you know? Maybe there's, you know, and that's the thing. They have to buy an outfit, you know? Well, they've got that. Oh, that's the thing. Well, this girl is into that. You can see that that's one of her,

she's into cosplay, and I think that's the thing that a lot of guys are into is, like, seeing, like, not just a girl get naked, but a girl dressed up as Lara Croft get naked or a girl dressed up as a an anime character get naked or something like that you know Misty from Pokemon is like taking off those suspenders and and and and you know maybe there's more into that if I were a

billionaire I would go to these sites and I would pay huge sums to make them do things that were not in the least sexual. Like if you go to PetSmart and you buy a snake feeder mouse, and then you bring that back and you eat it in front of me, I'll give you 10,000 tokens. They'll be like, that's ridiculous. I just dance around with my clothes off. I'm like, that's fine.

You know, if you don't want your 20,000 tokens for eating a rat in front of me, that's fine. How is this more fucked than going to that uh that fiverr website and making those poor indians no no this is this is just as fun she has a list of stuff that she'll do right and um i don't like uh ever watch live stream girls like i've mentioned that in the show before it seems more like cheating than just oh just regular videos so since you're a bit uninitiated clear the way it works is you can go to my free cams and if she's broadcasting you can just tune in and watch with like the hundreds or tens of thousands potentially who might also be watching uh this live broadcast for free but then for free and so here's the the difference though like and

those people can pitch in money to get this to happen or that to happen. But more often than not, you pitch in money so that you get a private show when it's just you and her. So you pay like 100 tokens and you and her go into your own private chat where it's just the two of you and you get to actually decide what she does and she does it. Based on what I'm reading on Reddit, I don't know if private shows are an option with her. They all seem to talk. They might be. But she has these goals and apparently her goals are much more expensive than her peers like all the other cam girls are mad at her because she's making so much money because she walked into it kind of famous and uh um but like yeah for like whatever four thousand dollars she'll spank her own hiney and um uh i think I saw her give a blowjob to a rubber dildo.

It was on Reddit. And that's the naughtiest thing that I've seen so far. The ROI on these investments is horrible. It depends. If you're paying $4,000, it's terrible. But if you're chipping a buck with 4,000 other people, then you might feel like it was a bargain. Oh, everybody froze for me. oh kyle's here i'm i'm here okay i had for a moment are we still recording and all good and we're everything is fine i think my internet connection

stopped for one second okay oh yeah this is this is pretty interesting is she like open about this is she advertising this on her twitter and such i don't know about her twitter but i'm she has thousands of people watching this is a conscious decision she's made it's not like i'm this is not yeah it's a smart decision i bet she's a ton of money and and and from what you've said she's it's pretty pretty vanilla right like i mean well i did just go to streamers gone wild and it says claire baby legs hit Come. Now that's just the title. I don't know. I know what it's going to have. I know exactly what that video is.

You might be disappointed. You don't know. What would you think if you had a Notch level of money? He's always having trouble finding fun stuff to do. Notch, if you're out there, try this one. Go to these really crowded

cam girl websites while they're doing their shit and there's a ton of people watching and bid a huge amount for her to do a Laura Ingalls Wilder cosplay while reading the Bible in a bonnet. And just watch as people drop off and it'll have to be like a reality show for her of choosing whether to appease this deranged Minecraftian billionaire or to keep her current loyal beaten-off base because I guarantee those 10,000 guys who are masturbating aren't going to wait for you to get out of your Laura Ingalls Wilder phase. They're going to go find another girl on there. So get back to me. Not just tweet me.

I watched the – yeah, she's definitely pretty enough to do this. I watched the Hitachi girls. I just flipped through and saw a couple different points. It looks like she's wearing the lingerie version of a one-piece bathing suit and she doesn't take it off and and she hitachi's herself uh over her clothes and uh i i imagine it'd be way sexier if the audio was i only see two photos on this whole page uh i'm like yeah the streamer's going wild they're yeah he's on a subreddit where they've saved some of her content yeah they're apparently very big fans of her and she is off to a

blazing start as a cam model but um i think based on having watched her and basher over the last like two years three years i worry that she's emotionally fragile and right no it doesn't seem like this is the behavior of an emotionally fragile person really because you remember um anthony kumia brought up that girl and he's like i was being sarcastic it totally totally oh my bad he's like look at this anorexic girl on youtube she is dying in front of us and everyone's watching it happen right and that girl was way too thin like i appreciate a thin girl and that girl was unhealthy you know that girl was i like i'm a little anorexic i don't see this at all in the same league as that i like would not be shocked at all if three years from now she really

had um uh i'm trying to say it nicely like like she had to get her mental health back in condition i i think i hope not like you would think know shit about it. So is that guy still with her now? Is that the case? I think, but I don't know. Okay. Well, in any case, I think she's being a real businesswoman over there and making tens of thousands of dollars off the fact that she's very, very attractive.

And I really like the one where she's dressed up as Princess Leia. She's really pretty. She's got nice eyes. She's got a nice body. She's pretty hot. If she's working in a way that all the other cam girls are like, oh, this bitch fucker, it's probably because she had better

ideas and is working a better business model than they were. No, it's not. Totally what it is is because she's brought in an established audience. They're mad at her because she's like the... Yeah, yeah. She brought people with her to this thing.

Millions. It would be like I bet a hundred million people have seen her on YouTube. Like off of Basher's channel. Sure. If Woody went, let's say that there was like some hot shot paramotors who like all shot video of what they do and they were paramotor YouTubers who were all in the same airport and all of a sudden

Woody joins that crew. All of a sudden, they're all blown out of the water, and they fucking hate Woody's guts because they're like, this guy fucking cut his teeth on Call of Duty and Battlefield, and I've been taken to the sky since 94. I've been shooting since standard death, and I had a big box camera flying with one hand. They'd be mad and so it's just sour grapes basically it's sour grapes i think it's straight up envy yeah yeah yeah that's got to be it because if she's doing the same thing as them just way better and way more successful and way more expensive of course right these other girls are slapping their own

hiney for five bucks meanwhile she's like it takes a grand to get me to get out of this chair i'd like to know how much it is but there's no way it can't be that much i i what i did i just like randomly clicked through there she shows her vagina one time uh i i saw her vagina there one time well she that's what i'm saying her it's it's really kind of vanilla like she seemed to like masturbate through clothes and she shows like a peak of this or like like slaps her butt like a lot of these shows are really hard it's gotta be way more wild than that it doesn't have to be um a lot of this or slaps her butt. A lot of these shows are really hard. It's got to be way more wild than that. It doesn't have to be. A lot of these shows, not

hers, but on that website, It's My Free Cam is really hardcore. Who is retweeting all of these? Don't you have family that follow your Twitter account or friends or something? I guess friends wouldn't matter. That's why you're tweeting it, so they can all see.

Don't you love your family? Yeah. Hey, Uncle Billy, look at this. Look at this man. I really wish I could find it. There was a thread where they were all discussing her business model. They were saying that she needed to lower her prices

for weekdays. These people seem to be real experts on how to be a successful cam whore. And they're like, man, she's running weekend prices on a Thursday night. What the hell? People are going to keep coming to her streams if the most they get is a hiney spank.

On Thursday nights, you got to make it possible to achieve these goals. And it all seemed to make sense to me, but I don't know these. That makes sense, but also you couldn't have killed eddard stark in episode two like you need some build up she's playing the long game right here where eventually this will get stale and old and she'll notice people aren't quite watching because the internet is bananas and i've become banal

and she will be like okay well coming up next week it's asshole of ash wednesday or whatever the fuck uh day she decides to break it out ass wednesday and then she does that she gets a ton more money and then that eventually dies down then she's got you know lesbian lit yeah and then on uh the 14th she got she gets v-day you know and she and you finally see that or whatever like the next carrot she has dangling in front of you like that's what she's probably doing and that's the smart move because if she just throws it all out there now

people aren't gonna they're not gonna pay if it turns out that all she does is like well obviously she's not she's broke out the Hitachi and and more but if she didn't ever please her customer base, then... Like you said, you can't kill Eddard Stark in episode two,

but you do got to kill him by episode 10. Otherwise, there's no show. But when they kill Eddard, the show didn't end. There was a new shrouded mystery to uncover or a new person to kill are you saying by season three basher will make his appearance on this by season three we'll be getting full rear i don't know yet i don't i don't know what she's actually done but i don't know i think she's playing this really smart well we just gave her a lot of advertisements so head on over there and and pay yeah what's her name baby legs uh clara baby legs some money to see her spank herself she's very attractive dude i've watched

weeks ago so many online personalities like like they get money and then regular jobs are just death to them and uh i wonder if that's the path that she's on right it like you know it is scarce said that he was on that path i think we watched x jaws take that ride i don't know where x jaws is today um all women are on that ride dude like every hot woman in the world is on that ride they're like hey i don't even know what it'd be like to work a regular job when i have all of this like i don't know why the world is so so friendly. It's a good point, man. If she's at step B right now, I know what step E and F are. She's going to lock this thing down.

She's leveraging how attractive and personable and all those things that she is. And she's going to be able to ride that for the rest of her life. All she's got to do is marry in the next 10 to 14 years. It's like in Rick is like marry in the next you know 10 to 14 years you know and everything's okay it's like in uh rick and morty when uh the mom says uh you know oh you know he can't morty can't do bad in school he's not a hot girl he can't just bail on his life

and set up shop and somebody else's and like it's funny and it's true in a way in in in all the ways that are are true that girl and this is nothing i'm not shitting on her because i i admire her and and how attractive she is and how she's like comfortable with leveraging that and making tens of thousands of dollars but but if she's so wished i'm sure that she could find some guy out there who'd be like yeah move here fucking set up shop here you'll have this you'll have that you'll have this you'll have that and and and you won't have to worry about anything like it's an option that she has there's not a guy out there there are millions who would offer that but most of which would be very creepy and yeah not have a lot of money you're getting offered a lot of

mother's basements a lot of lifetime supply of mountain do you calls. A lot of hammocks. A lot of futons. A lot of windows with duct taped trash bags on them. There's a lot of offers out there. We've got to get through all of that and find the millionaire, the tech millionaire

who's established himself and isn't too bad looking who wants Princess Leia to come live with him. On one hand, she's killing it. She's wildly successful. Like Kyle said, she's a new businesswoman who's really doing well by herself. On the other, I still maintain that her mental sanity,

I feel like this eats away at it. Would you apply the same rationale to a man who was doing this? Not as much. I know double standard i hear you but i just feel in the same way that like when that 17 year old when that 17 year old dude hits the the teacher not hits has sex with the teacher um you know he probably doesn't walk away totally damaged he just remembers he slayed pussy in high school right where you you flip that and maybe the girl does feel like she was taking advantage of but i don't not maybe but not all like certainly i'm not saying that that i would ever fuck someone or anything like that any of that illegal stuff but but i don't think that i think that a lot of those

14 year old girls who are like willingly fucking their teachers are just you know you could be a dirty whore in 14 years old like like like 18 year old dirty whores refer to 14 year old dirty whores like like like she didn't she didn't just like that's just turn 18 and all of a sudden become a whore like aria aspen was on the show people don't know aria aspen was a porn star like a legit one she's on pornhub etc and um she described some of the scenes that she did and how it really kind of like, this isn't a quote, but hurt her soul. And she's like, I thought that, you know, I just did the scene and I would separate myself from the physical act I did a bit ago. But she's like, I wasn't separate from it.

You know, I'd finish it. I'd go to my car and I would cry. And it was, that's how I remember it anyway. And it's like, oh, what a bummer. Like, I like to think that the girls in these scenes were like, dude, that was really great sex. And, you know, this is my thing and I enjoy it anyway. And it's like, oh, what a bummer. Like, I like to think that the girls in these scenes were like, dude, that was really great sex. And you know,

this is my thing and I enjoy it and I don't have heartache over it, but she did. And I think that someday Claire will too. if you're watching the kind of porn that she was doing, then you don't have that in your heart to begin with. You know, like you got to keep that in mind too. You've got Clara Babylegs over here who is like setting her own rules and her

own limitations. And she's the one, she's calling all of her own shots she's showing you her vagina because she made a conscious decision to like pull her panties to the side and show you or whatever whereas like you know she's signing up for like some hardcore porn that's that's that's partially humiliation and like really rough and and dirty and scary so like if you sign up for that like like when you're signing up at the porn company, if it's called bigfuckaffiliation.com, maybe they're not going to be nice to your soul there.

Maybe if you went to I don't know, like premium10.com, maybe they're not as tough on you. Stupid, useless idiots sucking cock.net. This can't be bad. Which porn site do you work for?

Dog Fart. That's a real one. Like, who do you work for? Cunt Basher. Oh, yeah, I work for the Cunt Bashers. Like, no, I made the Cunt Basher thing up. I'm just picturing, like, the Ghostbusters symbol, but it's a pussy in there. It's all these, like, men who hate women, like, fucking them really, really hard and

calling them names and stuff. But, no, I think Clara Babylegs is in a situation where I don't see how that could hurt her soul. She's being dirty and masturbating for people who are into it. That's not hurting her soul. You know where it hurts her soul? If people give her a hard time about it. If she goes to the grocery store to buy more

orange juice and people are like, I saw your boobs. I've got something on you. You know how it works, though. Whenever you've met a fan of yours, it's never been that. That is true. It's never that.

When people see you in real life, even if they do have things about you they don't like, they're just happy to see you anyway. They're not going to go there to that thing. They're going to be like, hey, even if someone saw Clara in public and they approached her for some reason, don't do that.

You're probably going to terrify her. She's got a gun. She's waiting. If she's smart, she says, one of these days, someone's going to kiss her. Hey, baby legs. And I'm just going to turn around and blah, blah, blah. No chances. She needs to bring a bodyguard around.

Regular legs. Man legs. Big daddy long legs. I'm baby legs. This is big Big Daddy legs. Our baby legs. This is Big Daddy long legs. That's where the show is headed. I'm just giving her an idea. You find someone with some Big Daddy long legs.

The $25,000 level Big Daddy long legs gets attention. Are you wearing a onesie or are those just enormous socks? They're socks. Oh. Never mind. attention sure yeah are you wearing a onesie or are those just enormous socks uh you know there's socks oh yeah it was never mind never mind it's there's something about the room you're in where it's almost twilight zoning where the dimensions are off it takes three through void and like reach into another room and pull something out of it i i don't know how much space there is in front of you.

There could be hundreds of meters, or you could be looking at a television. That black and tan gun on the wall, I'm pretty sure he can practically reach it. Yes, no. Nope. But if you take one step past that, you're already out the door. No, no, no.

He's at the closet, but the door with the flag on it? That's 65 feet from him. Have you ever been in a dream where I think everybody has. I think it's the most common sensation in a dream is that you're in a fight or you're running and if you're in the fight, you can't throw punches. Your arms don't work and if you're running,

you can't move. You're trying to run but you're so slow. That's super common. And it shows itself in a variety of different ways depending for me the most common um i don't know i guess if you're into like reading dreams maybe it's it's something in some part of you who thinks that you can't do a thing or the fear of failure maybe um i definitely think that or the fear of unpreparedness sometimes like you have those dreams where you are in high back in fucking high school and oh my god i i took calculus

this whole semester and i've never showed up here once i thought i had gym i've just been going to gym thought they were checking my name and that was my class but i was supposed to be showing up here in this building to calculus this whole goddamn year i haven't been here once and today's the test like that's a dream i have i had that happen last week and i didn't realize until the middle of a p that morning it's like oh oh oh my god you're not in high school you're 25 i've had the experience so many times where i can't uh operate a gun you know um like no matter how hard i pull on the trigger it will not fire um like if i've got to kill a monster or an intruder or a bad guy whatever this dream is about where a gun is required i'll start pulling the trigger it will not fire um like if i've got to kill a monster or an intruder or a bad guy whatever this dream is about where a gun is required i'll start pulling the trigger until

the point where like you're squeezing so hard your hand is like twisting you're like torquing your hand and then i'll add a second hand and put that index finger on the trigger too in the dream and it'll be both index fingers and And sometimes it'll, bam! But it'll just wound the thing. And I'm like, oh, God, we've got to shoot again. And it just never works. I just don't have the strength required to make the gunfire. And the same thing with punches and stuff.

Punches never fucking work. They feel like these girly punches that aren't coordinated or you can't hit what you want. And if you do, it hits here, and you're pushing them instead of striking them. That's an interesting one for you, the gun one, because it's so you-specific. I've never had one where I've been fending off an intruder.

It's always been tests running from some indescribable monster or wave or whatever, and then fighting. I've talked about this before but so my house got robbed a whole bunch of times when i was a teenager and then for a decade i had this reoccurring like night terror where there was a silhouette in a doorway with picture like a light behind him so all you know he's just black against the light and uh i'm trying to wake up and deal with this threat but i'm like paralyzed because I'm asleep. And it's just,

and in real life, I'm like talking, but in non words, like, uh, and, uh, until I wake up in a sweat and stuff.

And then that happened to me for a long time. I had like my little PTSD. Jeez. I'm one of the only people I know who maybe you guys do. Do you guys like falling in dreams? I've liked that before. I, uh, I don't like it i use that as an escape button for a dream for dreams when i know that i'm in a dream um i i kill myself i uh i jump off the highest thing head first and with like the

the intention of like breaking my neck on impact you know like a five foot ledge would be enough realistically on concrete right so i'll do that in the dream like if i wake up still asleep in the hospital so if i don't have one of those lefty moments where i'm like i'm tired of this dream home alone what is this 1992 poor lefty i like it because like i always feel it doesn't make you smart or clever or intuitive at all but when i do realize like mid fall that it is a dream and it's like it doesn't make sense that there would be buildings falling past me here in a mountain range falling past me here and like as you're falling you're like i figured it out i have no fear and and i don't know it feels neat to know your dream because everybody talks about lucid dreaming to the point where they where i'm convinced that most people are bullshitting about the level of lucid dreaming they do where they're like, oh, yeah, I have a trick where I look at my fucking totem.

And as long as the top's not spinning, I know I'm really not in the reality. And so I just, you know, I take out a giant flamethrower and I just burn all the zombies to death. And when I get bored, I create new zombies because I'm a god of dreams and slumber. And, you know, whatever it is, i don't buy any of that shit the most i've ever got lucid dreaming is like i'm in another slow motion fight and i can like summon a slow motion bat to not help me where it's like oh this is just not working either you know as it's going but i have i've had very few lucid dreams where they were like where i i had enough time to do the things that i wanted where i was like oh god i'm in a dream i'm aware that i'm asleep

somewhere and i'm inside my own brain let's take advantage of this time quickly and make things happen um i've done that maybe five times in my entire life but i remember them all really well because they were such cool experiences um i one of them was definitely when i was still in elementary school because i was in elementary school flying. I was like, flying down the hallways, but in midair, of course, like Superman flying around the hallways. Another time, I remember also as a child, I was at a carnival or something in the dream, and I think a clown was after me, like some kind of monster. And I realized it was a dream. And in my head, I summoned one of those hammers that they would use to hit that thing at the carnival.

And the thing goes up the top and goes ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. I summon a giant one of those, kill the monster. And then I'm like, oh, up, up, and away. And again, fly away. There's been several times where I realize, or I'll grab some titties. You realize you're in there. And there's no, ah, I'm in a dream. Ah, titties, fly away. There's been several times where I realize, or I'll grab some titties. You realize you're in there, and there's no, ah, I'm in a dream. Ah, titties. Titties.

Grab some titties, stuff like that. But maybe five times in my whole life have I had a lucid dream where I was like, this is a dream. I know that I'm in my head, and I guess I have matrix powers, right? And then I kind of do. I've had that lucid dream, but usually for me, I know I'm sleeping and I can choose to be awake, but don't because I instead choose to have superpowers.

It's almost not even dreaming. It's almost like daydreaming. I know what you're talking about. It's like right before you wake up. That's a really common time for it to happen. A lot of those that I've had, I know that I'm about to come out of it. That's what I meant when I it to happen. A lot of those that I've had, I know that I'm about to come out of it.

So that's what I meant when I was like, oh, quick, do the things you want to do. Because we've got like three minutes here. I don't know if it was like mild sleep paralysis or something or what it was, if it happens once, or if it was just a weird dream. But when I was like a sophomore in college, at one point I got a horrible flu where I just I felt so bad I

skipped classes for days and days on end and it got to a point where I hadn't slept in so long because my throat was so sore like doing that like prop yourself up on a bunch of pillows like an old person like you know they sleep and like I I just took way too much NyQuil because I'm like I'm gonna fucking sleep tonight and nobody is gonna tell me I'm not gonna sleep tonight like, I'm going to fucking sleep tonight, and nobody is going to tell me I'm not going to sleep tonight. And I made sure I'm going to get some sleep tonight. I did fall asleep, very sound, sleepless, like a dreamless night rather. But when I was waking up the next morning, it was like I was still in my bed, and there was just an enormous spider, like this big, like the size of my torso. And it was up on the corner of of my my bedroom yeah and there was there was no there was a little a tiny bit of fear but i also i 100 knew that is not real that's too

big to be a spider and so if it moved or something it wasn't moving the way a spider would with like darting it was almost like like like amorphously blending across the the pattern of the ceiling and after i don't even know because time is distorted i woke up for real i guess or i just snapped out of it and i was freaked out for like an hour like i didn't get freaked out by it until after i woke up for real because i guess my brain was still not fully turned on when i was seeing it but i was like god damn like fuck if i go to sleep and i have to be one of those people who like makes a red Reddit thread of like, I haven't slept in six days because I see demons help.

Something like that. I don't want to be that guy. Thankfully, it hasn't happened again. But to the lucid dreaming thing, people talk about the fighting and that. What about fucking in a dream? Because I've found that any dream where I'm going to end up having sex or getting head or whatever the crazy dream is. It always 95% of the time cuts out right before game. Yeah.

Right before anything is about to happen. Yeah. And if it's like a lucid dream, it's almost like, like you haven't seen the naked lady in your dream. And so if you'd like pull it open, it'd be like wires and matrix looking because you haven't actually you don't have that information loaded and so it like keeps resetting you like a broken

DVD like back to the beginning of the same scene we're like god damn we've gone through this foreplay so many times when is this gonna happen and it just never does and so when it actually does happen so fucking rarely it's just an instant of like oh this is awesome oh oh but I'm still dreaming though

this isn't anything like this sucks I need to wake myself up and masturbate yeah it never works that would be an awesome drug if you created a drug that let people sleep and let them have lucid dreams throughout the night that would be a fucking

awesome drug like first of all it's not messing with your daytime life right like like like is that not similar you're not asleep on that no not literally asleep but you're in a zone in his uh i've never done it i have no idea but i know while you're sleeping yeah yeah in the midst of sleep yeah lsd is certainly not a lucid dream type scenario it's more like the world around you is altered. I just thought it might provide the same kind of good time. I've never done it.

That's not something I'm tempted by. Seems like it can freak me out. It was popular in my high school. It seems like now, shit, like cocaine is not thought of as like you know instant death but when i was a kid it was and lsd and shrooms and pot were all like i don't know casual drugs i didn't do any drugs but like i don't know now it seems like lsd is somehow regarded as one of those crazy i've never really heard people talking to like all the people i know who have done hallucinogens all of them have done shrooms like i don't i think i only know a couple people who have tried lsd like i don't know both of them

seem freaky but i mean joe rogan seems to love it he does he's a big fan yeah he is the biggest fan of drugs he i don't know some of the stuff he does, I would be very... He's not a beginner. He is not a noob at these things. He'll have people on his show, and he's like, do you want some pot? And they're like, I don't know. Do you smoke much? Because this is not day one pot. You might want to take one puff of this and call it good.

Because we smoke at a professional level around here. He should keep beginner weed for his other guests.il degrasse who am i kidding he does not need no someone else would probably i don't know but yeah do you still watch his show or listen to it at all he doesn't have a show i i'm are you oh wait i was thinking neil degrasse tyson yeah listen to joe rogan i was listening to him today. It depends on the guest. I go through people's faces. If the guest is interesting to me, I'll watch it. If the guest is not, I usually don't like it.

I liked the Jim Norton one and the Amazing Atheist one. They did recently. I've listened to part of the Amazing Atheist one. That was pretty good just to see what they... I just started watching it. The way they interact, like two worlds. Like old old school youtube joe rogan it's weird dude the most recent one i watched was the hannibal burris one where they're talking about amy schumer stealing jokes and they're like going through the different examples of their conclusion on that because

i find some of the evidence to be thin yeah their their their conclusion was at the very least he's got an extreme unoriginality problem especially on her show and she needs to do something about her writers but there's so many commonalities in those jokes they were joe seemed hannibal seemed like he didn't want to say that she stole his jokes because you know he did that to uh you know he he threw caught it's it's interesting that it's the two of them because they both got a little experience at like taking people down, right? Hannibal Buress took Bill Cosby down.

He's how all of that started with his fucking comedy act. That's what took Bill Cosby down if you know the history of it. And then Joe Rogan, of course, had that big thing against Mencia back in the day where he took fucking Mencia down. This was a guy who was like had TV shows and had movies and was headlining everywhere in fucking theaters. And Joe Rogan was like, bullshit, that guy's a fucking thief. And now he's nowhere. When's the last time you saw Carlos Mencia do anything? So it was both of their opinions on her.

And they seem to stop short of labeling her a thief. But man, I've seen so many different commonalities. Chiz was defending her. Not everything, because sometimes it seems like she's guilty. But like the, what'd she say? She did a blackout and then it was like time travel. Time travel, yeah. I know I have in my head, seemingly originally,

talked about how sleeping is time travel. Like in a plane context, an airplane context. Like I have said, oh, I love to sleep on planes. It's like time travel. I just get to wake up. It's like teleporting. Here's the difference, though. That's a very good example of parallel thinking, right?

That makes a lot of sense. But Dave Attell put that in his special, that exact joke about how getting drunk and blacking out is like time travel. Amy Schumer, in an interview like last year the year before talks about watching dave that very special and enjoying dave attell so she has seen dave attell tell that joke about how blacking out is time travel and yet she has a joke about how blacking out is time travel and then if you look at the bits like on her tv show those are just outright theft uh there's one of them where a lady comes to the counter and she's trying to tell the person behind the counter about the person who helped her so graciously.

And the guy goes, oh, well, what did he look like? It was a black man. But she's a white girl who doesn't want to say black man. So she's like, ah, he had dark eyes and he was tall. And he's like, yeah, but what did he look like? And it's this awkward progression of her trying to describe him in any other way than describing his race

that line for line was stolen and there's lots of bits from Mad TV that particular one though she didn't write it exactly yeah it's her show though if it's inside Amy Schumer and she airs a skit like to say i didn't write

that it's like what were you in the room when they showed it to you and you said i guess what i'm saying full steam ahead like if if you're a writer on my show and you slip in something that wasn't original like what kind of encyclopedia am i required to be to make sure that all of my writers are original, right? And that's totally fair. Yeah, I think that the stuff being on a show is excusable. And if it were by itself, you'd be like, what's the big deal? Why is everybody giving her such a hard time?

For the record, I like Amy Schumer. I really liked her. I didn't like her recent special, but I like much of what she's done before. And I thought she was excellent in Trainwreck. I thought it was a good, funny movie. But I think she steals jokes, too. That's the thing with her is like from john mulaney to like there's just so many like jokes that like have such common you know the theory of like uh not theory but how she obviously rose to stardom super super quickly um because everybody was basically forced to be like this is the new

celebrity don't you love her and most people are like i mean not really they're like oh you you will you will you will and they just kept pushing her up and up and up and she was dating anthony jesselnik a couple years back and people were thinking that he was the one writing her jokes at some points because her comedy was better than and her jokes were more the style of what he does which is like misdirection style jokes you know where it's smart stuff very smart stuff i don't think he's he's very very clever but like the thing with her is like if it was once in a while of like hey that that joke sounds really similar to something patrice o'neill did and you watch it and you go yeah man that is really similar huh

if that was the one thing that happened nobody would be calling her a joke thief it's the fact that it's happened so consistently where all of these, quote, parallel thinking incidents happen. It's like, goddamn, like if you are – if this is all truly parallel thinking, you have the blandest mind for comedy ever because you are hitting every single stop along that train. Sometimes it's not parallel thinking. Sorry, I'll go. But sometimes I feel like it's a seed that gets planted, right? Like maybe I've come up with a joke that I thought was original, but really it's like, oh, yeah, you know what?

Kyle did say it first, and somehow in my head I thought I invented it. That's a good theory, but think about the way comedians work and how different comedians are different. Like Joe Rogan talked about this a little bit. When Bill Burr is doing that bit about our problem isn't sex addiction, we've got a gold-digging whore problem. That's what we've got. These women coming in, taking down good men. Talking about Schwarzenegger, that's a Bill Burr joke.

You know that's a Bill Burr joke. It just is. When you hear George Carlin and his stuff where, you know why they made the flamethrower? Because some guy was sitting around and thought, I want to burn some people, but I don't want... He has his thing where he's a little bit smarter than everybody else. They're all the same

because it's coming from that guy. He's not an actor reading a script. It's a performance of what's from within them. So when you steal a joke, when you take it from somewhere else, it's evident. And if you look at take it from somewhere else, it's evident. And if you look at Amy Schumer's act, it's all kind of dirty and filthy, and there's this feminist, like, women's point of view to it. But the way the jokes are structured and the way that they are funny,

the way the punchlines are structured and everything, it's like a patchwork of comedy. It's a bunch of different things sort of stuck together. I can see what you mean. Whereas, you know like like you think of every other comedian and you think of like the funny bits that we can remember off the top of our heads from our favorite comedians they're all very similar and and sort of like right you can almost feel what the comedian half a dozen chris rock jokes on race relations and

know that like that's from the mind of chris rock right yeah you take some larry the cable guy jokes and like chris rock deliver them and you're like that guy's a joke and i feel like when you're releasing a special maybe this isn't what they do but i feel like you'd show it to some of your friends who are comedians or something or screen it for some people like obviously you have that live audience there but they're not not professional comedians. Like maybe they don't do this. I have no idea. But I feel like you would. But it gets developed over time, right?

No, no. I'm talking about the final special. So tell me if I'm wrong. You might know more than me. Like if I'm doing an hour-long special, I've been doing that in 15-minute bits all year, seeing how audiences respond to it, reacting it. When do I let the joke hang there and just you know like for impact and uh and over the course of that year she should be figuring out whether this was stolen or not yes i'm saying she should but i'm saying as the final stop gap you would

think that you know because her idol or whatever is uh david tell before it got released she'd be like hey dave i want you to watch this like this tell me what you think I'm real nervous about it or whatever the fuck and he could then be like oh you know I see you use this joke where did you think of that and he would tell her and then she would have to because if they were both in private and if you've watched those bits

next to each other of Dave Attell and Amy Schumer and if they were both in private on a couch no mics no anything he if they're actual friends, he would be like, dude, what the fuck? Like, this is, you just took my bit. Like, they would never do that in person because comedians are one of those trades

where no matter how shitty a comedian is, they have to drop to a level of unanimously hated before any of those people are comfortable saying even the slightest negative word because they'll, like, pretend that comedians are, like, Go back and listen to Opie and Anthony. It's so incestuous. You've got to think about that too. So everyone who's

a stand-up comic who isn't doing big theaters or getting all these deals, the people who are going to pull them up to that level are the same people who are pushing Amy Schumer up to that level. You go in there and mess with this product that they've created. You start tinkering with that, start discrediting

this product that this comedy club has pushed up and that this network has pulled up. They're not going to work with you. Have you seen... Have you seen Louis C.K. and Dane Cook work out their differences? No. Is it on a show?

It's three and a half minutes. It's on a show, but it strikes me as honest. Can we it's just three and a half minutes it's on a show but it strikes me as honest can we watch it three and a half minutes sure sure yeah i like to cook um and like i said i think this is part of the louis ck show but you watch it and i think you'll see that like there's this is what might have happened in private. You guys queued up at zero? Yep. Ready, set, play. 2006. That should have been like my triumph.

And I enjoyed it, Louis, for maybe two months. Two months before it started to suck. Because everything I read about me was about how I stole jokes from you, which I didn't. I kind of think you did. Dude, why would I steal three jokes from you when I have hours of material? Why?

Why would I do that? Risk my reputation. Because they were funny jokes. You know what, Louie? You know what the biggest lie in the world is? That I'm a rock star, I'm a millionaire, I'm a comedy behemoth, and you're like a comics comic, and you're an inside joke guy, and I'm a sellout, and I sold behemoth and you're like a comics comic and you're an inside joke guy and I'm a sellout and I sold my soul and you have artistic integrity and you're a good guy.

We're in this room right now, you and me. You're looking at me. You let your name be used to hurt me. And now you're sitting here asking me to use my fame to get you tickets to Lady Gaga? I mean, how shitty do you feel right now? Very. So you admit that this is all bullshit?

You want to know what I think? You want... I don't think that you saw me do those jokes and said, I'm going to tell those jokes too. I don't think there's a world where you're that stupid. Or that bad a guy. I do think, though, that you saw me do those jokes and said, I'm going to tell those jokes too. I don't think there's a world where you're that stupid or that bad a guy. I do think, though, that you're like a machine of success. You're like a rocket, and you're rocketing to the stars, and your engines are sucking stuff up. Stuff is getting sucked up in your engines, like birds and bugs and some of my jokes.

I think you saw me do them. This stuff is getting sucked up in your engines like birds and bugs and some of my jokes. I think you saw me do them. I know you saw me do them. And I think they just went in your brain. And I don't think you meant to do it. But I don't think you stopped yourself either. And that's why I never felt the need to help you not be hated by a lot of people. not be hated by a lot of people. But I feel bad. I mean, I do, I feel bad.

It's great that you feel bad right here in this room, just, you know, the two of us alone. Maybe if you felt bad publicly on the internet, then this could all be behind us. Well, are you willing to admit even for a minute that maybe you inadvertently took them or some... Maybe you had some part of it. Maybe they got in your brain and you shat them out. Maybe it was inadvertent, but maybe it did happen.

I shouldn't have come here, man. Louie, do you want the tickets? Because I'm sure that you're... Honestly, I think that your daughter, I bet she's really nice. But you got a lot of nerve coming in here. I don't know. It's like I don't have kids, so I don't get it. But it must mean a lot for you to come in here and do this. So you want the tickets?

Thank you. Yes, I'd like the tickets. How many? Two, please. I need that. Okay. Thank you. I, yes, I'd like the tickets. How many? Two, please. I need that. Mm-hmm. Okay. Thank you. I appreciate it a lot.

Seriously. You know, the one thing that, like, really just gets to me is the whole thing about, um, people saying that I stole the joke about the itchy asshole because I get an itchy asshole a lot. So for you to think that you're the only person who got an itchy asshole in America, I mean, like, that's bullshit. You should try a natural laundry detergent. What? Well, see, I'm not sure because that's like scripted and on a TV show. And so it's almost like that's the way that comedians would handle it if they want to maintain the illusion that everybody's just a good guy and there are no joke thieves.

It's parallel thinking. We're all actually covering our own ass just in case the mob comes after us one day making little outings and excuses. In my mind, that was – But that does make sense every once in a while. Putting it out there, right? Remember, he wanted Louis C.K. to say, you know, why don't you feel bad for this on the internet? Well, that was.

He was feeling bad for it on HBO or whatever it is. And he's like, will you admit for just a second that maybe, you know, you did steal a joke? He phrased it differently. And he didn't. He actually just went silent and looked at his feet or something. I feel like those two, while it was scripted – did steal a joke. He phrased it differently and he didn't. He actually just went silent and looked at his feet or something. I feel like those two,

while it was scripted and by the way, great acting for comedians. Um, I, I feel like that is, there's probably a David tell Amy Schumer parallel in what we just watched, but she is this success machine blowing up right now, sucking in all kinds of garbage and money and jokes and you know she shat out a used joke i i don't see it that way i see her as being a train

that a bunch of people artificially fed coal into don't you love amy schumer do you love her now does she have a fan base yet do you have a big one to carry yourself and then you know when those teams aren't there to fully support her and they're like at the end of the day you got to come up with a stand-up special for us to for you to be marketable for us you know as we plaster you all over netflix and try and bamboozle people into accidentally clicking on your special like then she just wasn't able to get her own coal of jokes in there so she kind of had to delve a little bit and and scrimp from other areas and the part that's damning with a couple of the jokes for stand-up i don't watch her show so i have no idea and those are writers

so that's obviously more excusable in my eyes like i feel like there's a lot more moving parts there so i can understand the sketch show more than the stand-up but it's happened so many times and so many of them she will follow a joke so formulaically it won't be the same concept with a different conclusion or maybe the same conclusion presented differently it'll be almost copy paste from an old patrice o'neill bit for example with almost like an intentionally changed aspect in order to make it different. You know, like instead of her saying... Much like I did my book reports in fourth grade.

It's less funny, yes. It's less funny when she does it. Like it's like Patrice O'Neill already figured out the funny way to tell this joke. And the only way that you can retell it without just like showing up on a Google search when we fucking type your joke into it as the Patrice O'Neill joke was for you to alter it. And your alteration literally makes it less funny. retell it without just like showing up on a google search when we fucking type your joke into it as

the patrice o'neill joke was for you to alter it and your alteration literally makes it less funny so when i was a kid a little kid uh encyclopedias were still a thing i was before wikipedia put them all out of business and they'd say like do a report on germany and the world book which is what i had they put it so well and every variant that wasn't copying it word from word was making it slightly worse. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, man, these people that wrote the encyclopedia, they really have a way with words. And every time I change the order or rephrase it in my fourth grade head, I make it suck. So I had to find this balance.

I feel like that's what she's doing maybe. You know, Patrice O'Neill, that's the answer key. How far do I want to diverge from the answer key and still get a decent grade? She has to totally ruin her economy of words for the joke where it's like, hey, for this joke to be funny, this point has to be made like boom, boom, boom, real quick, like three quick words there. And she's like, well, I can't do that because that's kind of the tagline of patrice's joke i'll just i'll turn it into a phrase and lead them there instead of using these like quick little punchy things or whatever it is i don't like what i've i understand more the show because i haven't seen it maybe i'll watch a clip of the show and be like god damn this is just a chappelle skit which wouldn't be surprising because he has excellent skits that people could rip off and

just kind of vanilla eyes but i don't know you also kind of like it's easy to dislike her because you watch someone who's really not that funny being rocketed to a career and success almost despite public opinion where most people just really don't think she's that funny and then for that person to flagrantly steal jokes from the other committee especially like david tell someone who she's in interviews all the time being like, oh, I love David Tell. He's like my idol. It's like, well, then that's pretty shitty of you to do to him. I don't view her through the same lens.

Like you mentioned a couple times how she's been rocketed to success and thrust on us and stuff. I've never seen her show because I guess it's just not the things I watch. I watched her comedy special on Netflix. I made it about two-thirds through. It wasn't really my cup of tea. But to me, I'm just like, oh yeah, Amy Schumer, she's okay. I've watched other specials that I thought

were way worse. I thought she was Trevor Noah funny. Not knocking it out of the park or anything, but fine. But still pretty bad. Yeah, she's definitely rocked into success. Last year or the year before, whenever Trainwreck came out, was a massive fucking year.

She was on every single talk show multiple times, from Stern to Conan O'Brien, to The Tonight Show. She was everywhere multiple times, getting booked anywhere she wanted to go, doing tons of press and doing tons of tours. A couple of TV shows, I think, right? And then multiple specials,

and then the movie. Yeah, she had a big year. shows, I think, right? And then multiple specials, and then the movie. And yeah, she had a big year. I mostly see YouTube, which limits my exposure. Like, oh, is she on Conan? Yeah, I see Conan sometimes, probably like five minutes a month. The ones that get big on YouTube. Same with Jimmy Fallon, same with MSNBC or Fox or whatever. Yeah, so I have a new topic.

I don't know. Want to do an ad then, my topic? Sure. Wait, what did Taylor have? Two ads. I have a couple of conspiracy theories that I've been looking through. Flat Earth, Hillary Clinton died a couple of years ago. A couple of good ones.

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they don't feel like a a city little cheap watch and uh they look very nice exactly 15 off uh of 95 whatever that comes to there's no better deal than that and you're a fool if you don't take advantage of it so there it is definitely look into movement watches i've been doing all the bmt i think i've got i've got a couple of conspiracy theories um i so honestly like you know the one that people go to as a joke when they try and do that thing where they reference a ridiculous like the jesse ventura alex jones of oh i don't believe this ridiculous conspiracy theory so lend this one more credence the one they always make fun of is flat earth and i was never 100 sure if this was an actual movement of people or if this was like a satirical

website where it's like joking around making obvious scientific faux pas it is it is not from what i can tell because this is a huge amount of work and research for a joke. And so I don't think it is. I'm going to link you to the website right now, and you can just take a peek through on the homepage. The entire globally agreed upon fact, or rather theory, that the Earth is round is being propagated by scientists and being propagated by educators who are intentionally robbing people of the information of this flat Earth for some reason. Or they're just so bought into the conspiracy themselves with all this evidence and science that they they they just believe it i guess so they think that the world exists almost picture it like a frying pan and they describe the whole world being flat i was looking through their geology part and they're they are just still a crust of the earth apparently which means there are layers i have no fucking idea how that could

work with a flat earth who knows how flat it it is. Is this deep dish Earth? Is this thin crust Earth? Nobody knows. But it's that. And then they explain the Arctic Circle. Because, you know, if you fold out the world you see ice on both sides. They call that the ice wall. Because in their heads

we live in the game of Westeros where if you go too far south or too far north you come upon an enormous ice wall. And they have all these theories about how why the ice wall formed and what might lie beyond. And it is pants on head retarded. I wish it were true. If there were an ice wall somewhere and some mysteries beyond it, that would give my life new purpose. I'd be like, well, first we've got to figure out how to drive a snowcat, right?

And then we're going to need some firepower. Like I'd want to go to the wall. I'd want to know about this. And did you know that the sun revolves around the earth? Yes, yes, I read the Bible. Yes, the sun revolves around the earth and it's even dumber than what the greeks thought back then with their you know uh eurocentric or whatever not eurocentric geocentric model of the universe it's even dumber than that because even sophocles and whoever the fuck were just taking their best

guesses they were like hey the sun's out there we got to make these planets do all these wiggly weird lines in order for the rotation or the revolutions to make sense uh but the sun that's in the middle and it shines light around the whole solar system that's what they thought these people went a step dumber they think the sun is like a flashlight they literally describe it as a lighthouse that the sun is only capable of giving light in a circular path, which explains why there's only light on certain parts of the day at certain times. And it is baffling. They think the planets are super, super tiny,

and they don't think that the stars are actually stars. They think using Occam's razor, it's a page on their website, that using Occam's Razor, it's a page on their website that using Occam's Razor, is it more likely that these are stars of immense magnitude or rather that they're dots of light in the sky? Obviously, mysterious dots of light in the sky emerges victorious in that little hypothetical bout. But like this is this is actual mental illness. If you can believe this. One of the things I really want to do next time I get clear weather i want to fly up just a mile high right just like 6 000 feet or so and see if i can see the curvature of the earth at all they've explained

that too that these flat earth guys explain that that that as well yes so the way they the it's all based on some scientists from the 1800s who was, you know, obviously everybody, hundreds of years ago, everybody knew the Earth was round. And he was like, I'm going to check the curvature. And so he had someone in a sailboat on a six mile long stretch of still water apparently. And there was a five foot pole on the boat. And he got near the ground about eight inches from the ground and put a telescope there or whatever to to keep it in his sight and he was saying all right as this thing gets to the other end of this six mile pond i won't be able to see it because the earth will have you know eclipsed the top of that beam and lo and behold he saw it the entire way through and so he assumed or rather

drew the firm conclusion that he refused to step down on, that the Earth was entirely flat because of that experiment. Like, it took me three seconds just to hit back and then go to the second result on Google to be to have someone being like, this is actually known as water refraction whatever the hell, and it is indeed

on the other side of the world, but the refraction off the water, especially if it's that still, and from that distance with that technology of vision, could make it look as though it's still fully there and it it's just baffling that that they still cite that study that guy is their king like the guy who put a fucking five foot pole on a boat and sent his buddy six miles down a still lake i want to see it for myself though that's something i don't know i can tell you this at 2 000 feet i can't see the curvature of the earth that's i've been at three but i know that i've looked carefully at two i want to go to six and just be like all right i've got all the

time in the world i have all the visibility of a you know chair in the sky can i see it you know can like i get to you know make my own rules and look for as long as I want to. And I want to take a look and see if I can see the curvature of the Earth. That would be a neat thing to me. We've been in jetliners plenty of times. But there's a difference. It's like looking out that double fucking window with the frost and the humidity and between the panes. And it's definitely not the same as a chair hanging from a wing. It's definitely not the same as a chair hanging from a wing.

Those are intentionally made convex, by the way, to give the illusion of a round earth as you're looking out of the aircraft. Yeah, I read that. I read that on a website. I don't doubt it. I hate airlines as well. Dr. Sam Lee Robotham over there. Sam Lee Robotham.

That's his name. That's the guy who put the boat out in the lake or whatever. Yeah, yeah. There's lots of YouTube videos. From a plane? Yeah, you can see it. Can you see it from a plane? I believe that you can.

I've thought that I've seen it before. But for all I know, there's some optical illusion that's created. Someone who maybe knows better would be like, oh, no, at 35,000, you can't see it. That's an optical illusion caused by a refraction of light in the Earth's atmosphere. And I'd be like, oh, okay. I don't think I've ever looked for it. But it's like, oh no, at 35,000 you can't see it. That's an optical illusion caused by refraction of light in the Earth's atmosphere. And I'll be like, oh, okay. But it's still round though, right? I've looked at stuff, right? Like, hey, we're passing over the Grand Canyon or isn't this cool?

But I don't know that I've studied the horizon for a curve. This passage here, this is how they explain circumnavigation. This is the first sentence. The flat Earth is laid out like the United Nations logo the North Pole is at the center while Antarctica is at the rim the continents are spread out around the North Pole so he sees it in really what is technically not the wrong way to look at the world if you just looked at the map differently and folded

it up the only difference is this man thinks that the that is the shape that you could like if you were a giant you could step across them like like rocks in a garden except the thing about the like there's no ice wall right so if i headed to the edge where they say the ice wall is i could come out the other side yeah yeah you could like see this is okay circumnavigation on a flat earth is achieved because of a compass east and west are always at right angles to north thus traveling eastwards continuously takes you in a circle around the north pole east and west are curved nor how that shit fucking works, bro. I know.

Draw a straight line with your hand. Do that real quick. It doesn't curve. Let me read one more sentence and it will clarify. North is hubwards. South is rimwards. East is turnwise. And West is widdershins.

And so I'm just reading what they wrote. Those are fake words. These are made up words meant to tell you that you can't, literally that excuse right there is you can't go that way to go around the earth because that way is east. Which means you need to go that way.

It's like, what the fuck are you talking about? All you gotta do is be like, no, no, no, I'm not going east. I don't care what direction you call it. I'm going that fucking way. These are real words. I just didn't know them. Yeah. When Taylor said Wittershins wasn't a real word, I thought he might actually be telling the truth.

It's a direction contrary to the sun's course, considered as unlucky counterclockwise. They're using words from a time when we thought the world was flat is how far they've had to go back because we learned that Wittershins doesn't make any goddamn sense.

If Garmin told you to take, to head Wittershins, you know, 60, you'd be like, what in God's name is happening? This bitch has lost her mind. Oh, they answered this question. How did they know?

They must get these a lot. Traveling in a straight line. Can't we just circumnavigate the earth by traveling in a straight line without a navigational aid? Answer. It is not possible to travel in a perfectly straight line for very long without a navigational aid. It is not even possible to drive down a long length of highway without turning the steering wheel left or right. Get in a car and see if you can drive down a long stretch of highway without turning the wheel left or right it is a near impossible thing to do and when it comes to planes ships helicopters no craft has the ability of traveling in a perfectly straight line without the operator adjusting the craft without regards to visual terrain compass readings or what have you when one when one navigates hands-on control is

paramount you wouldn't find a ship captain captain in New York pointing his vessel in the direction of London, turning on cruise control, and then taking a three-week nap. This doesn't answer the question. No. And if you did derivate a little bit, it shouldn't matter because you're still going towards the edge because it's a circle, right? Yeah, it shouldn't matter a bit. And what about autopilot and GPS and, you know, the pictures of the earth from the fucking space and all that stuff? These guys are, you know, we're looking at how crazy these guys are.

I just realized something. They're not that much more kooky than people who believe the Bible as fact, though, because they have some pretty similar things that they believe that can also be very easily disproven. And, you know, you're like oh yeah just just go what's that word witter witterly witter shins yeah yeah yeah go witter shins and tithe do that too i don't know it this is bizarre though because there's so much science that this i mean we got pictures of the earth from space you know this is like a whole new level of willful ignorance because it's like they want they're're using – you know when you see in an old science or a current science textbook, you'll see this is the heliocentric model of the solar system. This is the geocentric model.

If you look at the geocentric one, there's tons of weird patterns that the planets have to go around in order to explain how we see them. That's the model they use as their example, the one they use in science books to explain how it wouldn't possibly work to have a flat Earth. And they're using that. Baffling. And then just – there's a lot of reasons. Like whenever someone's taught – I don't know what the correct truth to stand on is when you're trying to like get somebody to see to see right but i just remember my mom telling me one time like how old the earth was and she was a little off and uh and i was like well mom think about this all right like we look up and we see those stars right like god made those

it's written right in there heaven and earth like like you can't can't it says it, don't go back on that. Like, he made those things, right? But they're so far away that it takes, you know, tens of thousands of years in some case for their light to reach us. So this all had to have been here. That star had to have been there for tens of thousands of years, or we couldn't see it. The light wouldn't have gotten here yet. So how can you stand on that little ledge you're standing on over there where you believe

that this is all 6,000 years old? But that's never the way to approach it. I feel like that's she immediately would go, how do we know how fast light is? And I'm like, do we have to go to Einstein now? When he started the star, he also did the ray of light that made its way here.

Oh, he just stretched it out? Yeah, he made the star and the ray of light so that it was here right away. It made you not wait for it. But what... But here's the issue with that. Because that light is stretched out like that, as we're fed that delayed light,

we're seeing different things. Things are happening over a course of time. You know what I mean? It's not as if you just turned on a flashlight and then stretched the beam out to earth you turned that star on and and then over the course of tens of thousands of years like all kinds of clouds of ionized gas and planets went between uh the telescope and a star that's out there like things are happening like like that that light is being altered like throughout history along its path and you can see that as you watch it.

I hear you. But if you have a real believer, they could be like, yeah, that was just all laid out there. I think, and I want to put words in that. Well, they believe that. Then you have to come to the conclusion that God is fooling us on purpose. Yes. Yeah, yeah, sure. Okay, so here's a thing.

I hope I have this right. You have an organism like a bone or something, and it has carbon in it. And then that carbon decays right it leaves the bone at a predictable rate so we can look at a bone and say oh it's got this much carbon it must be this old right that's what carbon dating is if i'm explaining right so how is the earth 6 000 years old when we have carbon dating proof that you know dinosaurs were here whatever 20 million years ago whatever there's no response to it, but that's not true. You don't understand.

God laid all the stuff out there as a giant scavenger hunt for humans' benefit. And some of the bones that he put in place there were halfway carbon decayed because that's the way he made it from the get-go. It's just a big old scavenger

hunt of bones underground. If I were God, I'd throw at least a couple dinosaurs out there still rotting just to baffle people. What the fuck? This one's still bleeding. I'd put in a unicorn. One unicorn, one mermaid. That'll fuck with them.

That stuff's really frustrating because as long as there's that much of the population that believes things like that we're so far away from getting to that star trek utopia right like like in star trek like there's there's no ignorance like that there's no like like even if you go to like the dumbest of dumb people they're still flying around in spaceships they might have some bad ideas, but they've gotten past the whole believing that their planet's flat

and sacrificing things to an omnipotent being and all that. Because it's so cultural and accepted in certain brands of Christianity that the Earth is 6,000 years old, you've kind of been desensitized to it. So if someone actually believes that, you're not actually like, oh, wow, do you make your own fire at night

and hunt for your food, you ancient Philistine? You don't do that. But with this flat earth thing, it's so rare. And I think it's objectively dumber than the 6,000-year earth thing. Both are so dumb, it's difficult. But the 6,000-year earth thing, at least you have history as plausible deniability which is the thing that scientologists don't have

like your guy your religion isn't old enough for people to have bought into it and haven't been raised in it and so obviously when you say that z new is coming back it's like whoa we haven't had hundreds of years to slowly kind of nibble on this and make it normal so hard pass you know joseph smith got in he was late in the religion starting business, but goddamn, if he got there three weeks later, they would have figured it out because someone would have had a cotton gin and they would have been like,

get out of here with your bullshit. You say that, but then look at Scientology. Joseph Smith could show up right fucking now. And he could just fucking play a YouTube video and he's got his hat. He's got a top hat there and there's some gold light emanating from it, like that briefcase in Pulp Fiction.

And he's like, so, this afternoon I was in upstate New York, and an angel came down. His name was Moroni, and he led me to these, clink, clink, clink, golden tablets. Yep, lost gospel of Jesus Christ. Let me tell you what it's all about. And he'd get some followers, right? You'd get some, but, I mean, even only Jesus could only get 12. Think about that.

Oh, those are disciples, though. There's a big difference between disciples and followers. That's fair. Yeah, he did seem to pack the house, no matter where he went. I feel like he got much bigger after his death. Do you think that if they had not put Jesus to death, that Christianity

would have been what it is? I think it would have fizzled out and not been a thing. You think Nirvana would still be making good music? Zero percent chance. It was probably the best thing for them that Jesus died around that same age. Because, I mean, look at... You know? Oh, my God.

This happened, like, 25 years ago. Who cares? Oh, I wasn't told-in-toe. I'm just saying that, you know, Jesus died. There's a conspiracy theory. A lot of people believe that Courtney Love fucking killed Kurt Cobain. Do you know the details to that? Could you explain it to me if you know him a bit?

I don't know the details well, but I've read stuff about bleach being on his body when he was found or something like that. Like some evidence had been taken away, and I guess he shot himself with a 12-gauge or something like that, right? And there's a suicide note that he had left, and it's pretty praising of Courtney Love, and at least that's the way I remember all of this. I don't know enough about that to talk about it. I don't even know enough

Nirvana music to fucking care. I don't know. I mean, you listen to the music the guy was pretty fucking depressed I wouldn't put it past him that's kind of my stance I saw some good conspiracy theories earlier on here I'm trying to let's see I mean I've got

do you remember watching the Berenstain Bears as a kid about the one that that says the CIA created HIV to target blacks and homosexuals? I've heard of that one before. Seems difficult. I don't know. Seems like it would be very hard to pull off. How does it target black people? I guess it does in Africa.

Because the theory is that they exposed homosexuals and blacks to it purposefully via blood transfusions. They exposed homosexuals and blacks to it purposefully via blood transfusions. Yeah, that's another one where it's just too many people involved. How many transfusionists or profusionists or whoever runs those machines is going to – or nurses are just going to – I don't know. Unless they have like bags of blood that say, don't you use that O positive on a white man. Why? They're all the same, right? Totally.

Just trust me. Don't do that. It has a big H, period I, period V on it. I know that in Africa, black people have it a lot. In America, are black people disproportionately hit with AIDS and HIV? I don't think so. I have no fucking clue. I thought they were.

I read that a lot. Maybe that's just a conspiracy. That could be racism itself, the idea that blacks have HIV more often. But I've read it plenty of times, and I've heard it. And the Africa point doesn't make sense because this is a conspiracy about the U.S. government, right? Yeah, well, they did it here. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. The Africa comparison wouldn't work because this is about a U.S. government, right? Yeah, well, but they did it here. Yeah, that's what I'm saying, is that the African comparison wouldn't work

because this is about a U.S. government program. They are. They are. It turns out that half of the people who are diagnosed with HIV in America are black. And I don't know the percentage of black people in America, but I think it's like 15 or 20% or something. 13%.

13%. 13%, so they are definitely overrepresented. Yeah, several times more likely. black people in America, but I think it's 15 or 20 percent or something. 13 percent. So they are definitely overrepresented. Several times more likely. Here's an interesting one I just found. That the 2004 Indian Ocean earthquake and tsunami was actually a nuclear test conducted by India in which the United States took some

parts. Wait, okay, this is a conspiracy theory. Yeah. Oh, I almost bought United States took some parts. Whoa, wait, okay, this is a conspiracy theory. Yeah. Oh, I almost bought in right away. Okay. I almost read this like it was a fact. I'm like, oh my God. How did this not trend on Twitter or something?

Right? Yeah, I think you do it. Yeah, yeah. That's why it didn't trend. What is this one? It's 2004 Indian Ocean earthquake and tsunami were actually a nuclear test conducted by the country of India with the cooperation of the United States and other allies. That went wrong. I'm having trouble finding their evidence for this.

Oh, okay. Yeah, and also I just don't know what I'm talking about. What is the strength of a nuke compared to an earthquake? I feel like if we took one of our biggest nukes and set it off underground, it would rustle the ground in a way that does

not compare to the Japan security cam shaking shelves that I'm used to you're dealing with a amateur nuclear job and my theory is that perhaps what if what if india set this device off underwater or underground and that shifted a fault line and made a fault line that was already just stressing against each other one one side under the other trying to lift up. Maybe that nuke loosened that up and the tectonic plate moves up,

lifts that gigantic mass of water and creates the tsunami. I wonder if there's some sort of weaponization that could be done that way. For all I know, between tectonic plates and the ocean, there's a big old Grand Canyon under the water. All you got to do is nuke that area because it's begging to shift anyway.

Have you seen the Abyss? We'll get into big trouble if we do that. The Mariana Trench? If you ever watch the Abyss, there's aliens living down there and they'll end us all. That is a problem. If you're gonna nuke somebody, just save everyone the trouble and just drop it on the city itself because

if you're futzing around with ocean trenches blowing shit up with nukes, that's not like a... If that goes wrong, it could be like, oh, shit. Oh, fuck. The planet's ruined, guys. Oh, no. You can't just buy credits to fix this

one, Leonardo. I'm so sorry. No, what if you just fuck everything? Or much more likely, it just doesn't fucking work at all. Like, ah, why don't we listen to General Rube Goldberg, who thought that you should blow up an ocean. Oh, that's the last thing to do, though! To create an earthquake, to create a tsunami, to take out the nuke plant, to make the nuke plant go.

Why don't we just bomb them? Now we're playing bluefin prices for yellowtail, guys. Suddenly we're playing mousetrap a global thermonuclear mousetrap hoping that we could win a war horrible I mean anything's possible in Trump's America but I just don't think that that is a good idea just bomb a normal city

like an adult these are interesting conspiracy theories I really don't read about them too much. The fluoride in the water thing, of course. There's things like, if you go back, did you ever hear of the Philadelphia experiment? I have not. I've heard of the fluoride.

It's a U.S. Navy warship. There was this experiment to perhaps render a U.S. warship invisible. experiment to perhaps render a u.s warship invisible um and allegedly the the evidence behind it if i remember correctly uh had something to do with like the ship was at one uh naval base and then it was at another overnight like it had like it had worked somewhere and uh there were claims that the uh the the uh the sailors bodies were were like transp transposed into the walls and into the bulkheads. They were half inside of the ship and half not because it had shifted. What? Is this

hundreds of years ago in Philadelphia? No, no. Here, I'll link you to it. This is a very old-timey conspiracy theory, and frankly, if this is a 2008 one, then this is ridiculous. There's an X-Files, there's an X-Files based around this too.

The experiment was allegedly based on the aspect of some unified field theory, a term coined by Albert Einstein to describe a class of potential theories. Such theories would aim to describe mathematical... God, how wordy are you? Get to it. I think people in Philly have just been hit by maybe one too

many batteries or heavy light up bracelets okay here's the origins of the story in 1955 morris k jessup an astronomer and former graduate level researcher published the case for the ufo a book that uh a book about unidentified flying objects that describe theories about different means of propulsion and flying saucer style u UFOs might use, anti-gravity technology, electromagnetism. How is this the origin? This is... That doesn't seem to be the origin at all.

I don't understand. But yeah, I like conspiracy theories. I want to know more about the people who believe that they're reptilians. Have you ever seen that movie, They Live? I haven't, but that's a conspiracy theory that i don't i i have a difficult time believing that anyone who's not like not joking around genuinely crazy believes like that's one that it's not even it's even dumber than flat earth and that is a fucking feat it absolutely is not it is which one is this lizard men lizardmen? Lizardmen. Oh, really?

You don't think that's It's so stupid. Oh, it's so fucking stupid. The reptiles we have don't even have anything more than the most primitive little hind brain in there. All they know how to do is

eat, sleep, shit because they've done brain house. I could think of at least two different scenarios in which we could have intelligent lizardmen posing as one of us

and controlling our government with little puppet strings and it'd be much more likely than a flat fucking earth what if some like reptiles lived underground since the fucking extinction of the dinosaurs and they've evolved to be lizard people if we were lizard people if we had evolved from lizards and and there was a theory about monkey men and how the monkey men are really pulling all the strings you might also see well maybe a monkey could evolve into an intelligent person you're like no monkeys are fucking stupid look at a monkey he's throwing his shit bill like no he's learning to use tools quick question do lizard men that live underground are they also cold-blooded like all other reptiles um i believe

that they've been gained then it's bunk then it's bunk i believe they've been gaining their... I believe they've been gaining their heat source deep under the ground near the, you know, from, yeah, absolutely, the hot bright rocks fueling their cold blood. These are totally sleaze stacks. Yeah, they are sleaze stacks. That's what it would be.

They're literally sleaze stacks. Yeah, or maybe it's aliens, right? Maybe it's some intelligent reptilian alien beings who have shown up and they're setting up shop as their own thing. What was that TV show called with Sleestacks? Journey to the Ascent of the Earth? Was that what it was? I think Sleestacks was Time Machine by Jules Verne, right?

For me, it's a TV show I saw as a kid. I don't know how to spell Sleestacks. Bring the center there. Flat Earth is so dumb, but this beats it. It'll be hard to find one dumber than this,

I think. Land of the Lost. There was a TV show called Land of the Lost. Sleestacks? What are you guys saying? There was a TV show before you were born, and there were reptiles that live under Earth, intelligent ones. They were sleestacks, and they found warmth by glowing rocks, and it sounded like Kyle had maybe seen it too. Airdate, 1974.

Yes, a couple of years before I was around. Yeah, that's even, I mean, I guess I was one, but I think I was watching reruns from my memory. Ah. In the time machine, it's the Morlocks, not the Sleestacks, but they also live under the ground, and they come up, and they capture the

Eloi, which is those peaceful people who live on the top, and they take them down and eat them. Yeah. Wow. I challenge you to find one worse than lizard men because i'll tell you what it looks flat if you're retarded lizard man is retarded i'll grant you that flat earth is retarded i'll grant kyle that i find young earth to be just as retarded as those other two and it's widely believed by Christians.

Yeah. The thing about it is like, like we're so dependent on what we see on what's been provided to us through books and, you know, word of mouth and, and, you know, the internet and stuff that like you could easily envision like a Rick and

Morty style scenario where, where this is just being fed to us to like, see if maybe we live in a completely different reality and we're some kind of fucking experiment where they're like, yeah, let's put a baby in this VR thing and we'll make it think it lives in this weird universe where all this is true. Anything could be

true. Yeah, that's the computer simulation conspiracy theory. I went so far down that rabbit hole the other night after researching quantum mechanics for a while. I watched eight quantum mechanics videos, and then I started talking about how we could live in a simulation based on what I had just learned. And then I was like, I guarantee you if we start Googling this, there's a huge group of people who believe we're in a simulation. And then I saw Elon Musk is one of them.

Joe Rogan? Yeah. Jesus Christ. Watch the white ball. They're working out. They start going through all of the uh just because you live in a computer simulation doesn't mean that you're not getting you know results from your efforts and stuff like if if you found out that this really was a computer simulation but you know fake old taylor will enjoy it more if he puts full effort into it you might

do it i don't think you're a non-playable character, though, in this scenario. We all are, perhaps. And I think that that is just as likely as what we actually accept to be reality, is that we're all fucking non-playable characters in a big simulation somewhere that some other intelligent being is using as a model to find out, you know, what would happen if this happened or what would happen if that happened. Or it's just a big video game and maybe there are people in here who we call lizard

men or throughout time we've called vampires or ghosts or monsters who are actually just the players they're the playable characters who are like jumping into earth game and you know just running around so maybe when you hear about some maniac who like stabbed a bunch of children in China at a mentally

a bunch of handicapped children. Like, ah, that was just some guy going ape shit on the game. He scored 10,000 points. Maybe that explains some of the weird stuff. I think this is most likely just a big universe that we live in. That's my mind. I'm going to bet on reality being real

and the universe being extant. But this, that's not as stupid as Flat Earth. The simulation thing is about an echelon above the Flat Earth stupid. I disagree, and if you look at the evidence and you watch enough YouTube videos, I think you'll start buying in. I'm already convinced.

These are not kooky YouTube videos, all right? Yes, they are. Yes, they are. Don't lie to me. Is it going to be some some some wizendale professors sitting there yes i've been at oxford for 41 years and it's time to come forward with my quantum mechanics there's a lot of science in it and there's a lot of measurable stuff okay well then maybe the computer simulation stuff i think i just spit on myself is um is the new god

right it's like all right there are a lot of things that we don't fully understand, but it can be explained by this like un-understandable tech. And now we're a computer simulation and that plugs all the holes in our knowledge that we had before. But then as time progresses,

we will start figuring out that we're not in a computer simulation, just as we figured out that a lot of that god shit was bullshit as well. I think that it started when they started noticing some of the stuff in quantum mechanics and some of the stuff in the laws of physics don't really

mesh with one another, that some weird stuff is happening when they're firing those fucking electrons and observing them. I hear you, but I'm still stuck on this idea that like we'll start figuring it out you know like oh yeah gravity didn't make any sense because why is gravity suspended in water right why doesn't gravity work in water clearly doesn't and uh you know like all right now we've got it figured out density etc well if for those of you who are

listening watch a couple of youtube videos just search like, do we live in a simulation? Is the universe a simulation? And you'll see it's not very kooky at all. It's very fascinating, though. I don't think it belongs with the conspiracy theories. It's a decent theory for existence, I think. No. As good as, like, oh, well, everything just condensed down to one tiny point and then exploded and there was a big bang and we all are.

No, because one of them is infinitely more complex than the other. One of them would require that everything is collapsed and that all matter expanded in the physical universe. The other one would mean that all of this that we live in is actually preempted by an infinitely complex being or society. It doesn't have to be infinite complex because we because we already have computer models that can simulate parts of our own universe that that that where stars are created and planets coalesce and dust dust clouds become stars like we've already created simulations of part of our own universe and what's the uh the law about the computing technology uh moore's law the one that doubles yeah so when you apply that

like we don't have to get much more advanced it's already failing isn't it yes but it's you know with quantum didn't ibm say they're going to make quantum computers in like two years or something they wouldn't lie about that uh they actually started a whole business division around computers they can't make yet like it's a really interesting computing interesting move. What does quantum computing mean? Oh, my gosh. I'm so far out of my depth, but it has something to do with, like, massively parallel computing having to do with organizing,

at a quantum level, the structure of stuff. And, again, I'm not explaining this. Go ahead. Atomically reorganizing stuff? Isn't it something about with a microchip you have to have like actual transistors and stuff pieces of metal and at some point they just can't be made smaller

and that the way the quantum computer works is it's actually using either atoms or electrons in like a 1-0 type positional thing to compute I always thought it was the same as regular coding but you wear a wizard hat and cape in like a 1-0 type positional thing to compute. I always thought it was the same as regular coding,

but you wear a wizard hat and cape. My bad, you're right. That is how it works. Yeah, that's what it is. No, that would be really cool, but also horrifying if you found out. Wait, I was right? Electrons or atoms? Your thing's right, not the wizard hat thing.

That was not right. No, I was saying the wizard hat. If you go by me, I was being a goof. If it were true, what would you think? Like, Kyle, tomorrow somebody comes out there and they're like, we have definitive proof that you are a simulation in this, and here is your code. Like, this is code for Kyle.

Like, what would change about your life? Would you just be like, that's interesting? Or would you go crazy? I feel like I'd go kind of crazy. No. Would you just be like, that's interesting, or would you go crazy? I feel like I'd go kind of crazy. No, and I think this is something that Christians don't understand sometimes. This is something that they say, like, oh, you don't believe in God? If I didn't believe in God, well, I'd just, what would I do? I'd have nothing to guide me, no moral compass.

Maybe I'd go rape a bunch of people or smoke a bunch of the devil's cabbage, some of that marijuana's. Like, that's all your problem is you have no moral competence. I like the plural on marijuana. That was perfect. That's not the case at all. I don't believe that there's a God. I don't believe there's any judgment

for anything I do here afterwards at all. And I think that you should really make the best of what time we have here because this is almost certainly it. And when I think of those very low percentage possibilities for this could be after or this could be after, sure, I can think of a dozen things that might exist after this, and they all involve some crazy Matrix stuff,

or we're in a simulation, or they're going to wake me up or something. But by and large, almost certainly, this is fucking it. And yet I don't go fucking steal or kill or rape or pillage or anything like that. I still conduct myself based on a set of morals that I have and that have been instilled in me and that society deems correct. Because it's just what you do. So if someone came down for me, some Bixby came down and he's like, Sir, you've been in here for 30 years now.

When are you going to come back out to the real world? It's been almost two and a half hours in our time. I'd be like, well, I guess I'd pull the fucking plug. I'd stay here long enough to set a few things right. And then I let Bixby take me out. The point is that you would end up going crazy you do something if bixby comes down and he says sir you got to come back out to the real world you've been here for over three and a half hours i'm like oh let me tie up a few loose ends first and i take yeah yeah i do go a little crazy but if i have to stay here like if i live in a in a in a simulation and

that's just my reality there's no no way to pull the plug and escape, then tomorrow's a new day, right? Just keep going. Maybe kill yourself. I might kill myself. I don't know. That's risky. I'm going to watch someone else do it first, just to see how that pans out. Kill themselves?

In the simulation. Well, you're in the simulation. They just fall over dead while you're there. Maybe like, in some alternate plane, but you won't know anything about it. Yeah. This doesn't sound like a fun scenario at all. It sounds horrifying. It's just, you know, the reality isn't much more fun, is it, that you're going to get eaten by maggots in about 50 years? Yeah, but you just don't think about that.

I do every day. A lot. do you dwell on that a lot uh no i don't dwell on that at all um but but but i think that you know i what i do think about is uh and i'm sure this is something that humans have done throughout their existence is oh man in 50 years like those would be cool days to live in you always look ahead at the things that are coming and the things that are about to happen. You're like, oh, I would like to be part of that. You know, I keep hearing about, you know, oh, a mission to Mars or a mission to this planet. And you know, interstellar travel is eventually going to be at our fingertips, you know, as long as we don't blow ourselves up. So I feel like we're at a time and point where at least we're we're satiated we don't have to worry about beasts eating us or being enslaved by like a rival tribe you don't really have to worry about some like new virulent plague just sweeping into the village and cleaning out your

whole we don't have to worry about that a lot of places still do we've talked about those people before we're talking about us all right those are the NPCs as far as I'm concerned. Those are the real NPCs. That's the guy that you just go and steal his minerals and run away and make yourself your leather straps and your iron daggers. Strip the land clean so they can enjoy it. That's what I say. All that dirty uranium they've got and silver and gold.

Yeah, we've been doing that forever. Yep. And then when the computers are done, ship them over to india or cambodia or something and they break them all down and then some little kid's hands has to pick out all the metal bits have you watched those videos on youtube yeah the beginning of it is very sad but it rounds out like how it's made video because then they show you like how like the gold bars are made and so it starts off very depressing but then by the end of it you're like that's a pretty cool machine

someone will get rich in the end not those children of course but no they can't most of them can't afford shoes but someone will get rich and that's the happy part meanwhile the kids are all getting like heavy metal poisoning from handling all those components with their or they're wearing their one pair of toms they got nine

years ago with no soul just like a bed skirt over their little feet what is the company that sends an extra like pair of shoes to that's the one yeah i thought there was another an extra pair of horrible shoes horrible ugly shoes uh new topic or do you have some go do you keep going no i was gonna say we had that that eyeglass sponsor that time who would, I think whenever you bought a pair, they sent the pair to a need or something. Ah. I am in the midst of paramotor drama.

Is this interesting? What? Flight battles? What's going on? So I uploaded a video a few days ago and I'm sure you guys didn't see it. It was a 40 minute long review of my paramotor it was and i open it up with like hey this is who i am right i've got like a little less than 50 hours like flight time and about 30 of them are on this paramotor this is

what i think of it and um i put there's a paramotor facebook group where like everybody hangs out that's like you know real hard asses of paramotoring. Yeah, you know, like most groups. The movers and shakers of the. The trendsetters. Most groups seem to have a form, right? If you were into motorcycles, there'd be some form about your motorcycle or whatever. Well, on Paramotor World, it's a Facebook group.

And this guy tore me a new one, right? Like I'd never heard of him before. I'd never like conversed with him. And he wrote, typical Yankee, Yankee misspelled. Talks without knowledge, two exclamation points. Come back after five hours and talk, two more exclamation points. How can people believe this guy's a novice?

Okay, he's blurting out about his own experience, but hey man, listen to a pro rather than a blue boy. Two more exclamation points. No disrespect. Blue boy? What's a blue boy? I don't know. than a blue boy. Two more exclamation points. No disrespect. Blue boy. What's a blue boy? I don't know. A Yankee.

Like a fly boy? I assume it's a Yankee. No, no, no. A Yankee. There's a total of eight exclamation points in his head. I think he's British or something. He didn't call you a colonialist? Because I would say this is a southern guy who doesn't like a no i i know

no high school in the uk that much i know by clicking on his profile okay all right well okay now i'm picturing him more clearly then i've never had a single person in the south who referred to people in the north as yankees i've only heard that from people from england and europe nobody says yankee here at all some people do in in the South. Kyle, you've seen it, right? Yeah. Yeah, I've been called a Yankee before. Or sometimes people ask me where I'm from. Even though I lived here 18 years now,

I'm like Jersey and they're like... I've even heard my dad's friends have a friend who's from Maryland or something. They just call him yank you know that's his nickname now it's like a term of endearment i think they started out you know giving him shit for his accent and his weird ways and and you know now he's part of the crowd i try

to explain i've lived here 18 years i have two anchor babies still a yankee like it you just can't get past it. Anyway, sorry. So he called you a blue boy, which means you don't have a fly. Yeah, so this guy really tore me a new one. It seems like most of the forum has jumped to my defense. But all day long, just like popping back and forth. And he would write more. I can show you.

Like he didn't stop there. He writes, after 50 hours, he's an expert. You're right. There is is crap and people should not take any of this like this guy is very upset by the prospect that you consider yourself decent at flying i don't like dude the if you watch the video it opens up with like hey you know like here's where i am i've got 50 hours of flying this is what i think of this paramotor so far like and i even say like you're, the opening section is who I am. So people have an idea of, like, what this reference is.

And I don't know if I say it outright, but the unspoken thing is, like, look, I'm not, you know, a professional pilot here. I've got one year. And this is, you know, so now you know who you're getting your information from. I say that. And he just, he goes off on me all day long. Does he fly? Like, have you investigated him? Like, does he fly?

Does he paramotor? Does he make videos? He doesn't make videos. I've never heard of him before. He claims to have more than 500 hours of flight time. Have we even seen a photo of his goddamn flying contraption? I bet it's not as nice. I bet it's not even as nice as yours.

I don't know. This guy sounds like a real poor to me. You know, I bet he's got some bullshit Armenian fly kite or something. He's just jealous that we have electricity and gas to spare on activities here.

It looks like something Leonardo da Vinci created. It has wings that flap. Or a big spiral thing that you pump your feet and it just kind of goes up and down or that thing with like uh with like wings on either side that just collapses it's just a cone that goes up and down hoping it's more aerodynamic on one than the other right i love that clip of uh the guy like from the late 1800s with it was like yeah that one and then the one where there's like 10 rows of wings and the guy like from the late 1800s with that one and then the one where there's like ten rows of wings and the guys trying to fly and you know that that was

not the the fifth time the fourth time the first time they tried that it was the seventh time because there were seven layers of wings and they just kept going just put more wings on there that was a trick just slap wings on this thing eventually but uh yeah such assholes after the Wright brothers came and just put more wings on there. That must be the trick. Just slap wings on this thing and eventually... But, um... They must have helped such assholes after the Wright brothers came out and they showed actual flight with all their super complicated, like, bullshit

rigamarole stuff. You know what I don't love? I've said this on the show before. So, North Carolina... Play that for the viewers while we talk. All right, all right. Just turn the audio off. I'm setting everything up.

Alan Adler, inventor of the Arobi flying ring is the video name. Funny flying machines. That's what we're looking at, right? This is hilarious. Yeah, yeah. What was I saying?

The flying, the... I lost my train of thought. So sorry. Anyway, this guy's been tearing me a new one. Yeah, he's been tearing me a new one all day long. And he just keeps not backing. People are like, dude,

he said exactly who he was. He seemed right. A guy said, I had that same machine and i do have 500 hours of experience on it and i if i were to make a video it'd be just like his and uh i felt pretty backed up you know nice but what's fun is paramotor drama is so small like and not as petty as video game drama either right did anyone call you a faggot? No. Ah, surprising. Was there talk of rape?

None. Not for you, perhaps for a family member instead? Didn't come up. Shocking. This doesn't sound like an argument to me. No one attacked my children. Colin was left out of it completely for some reason. That should be your reply.

Sir, the fact that you have neither threatened to rape me nor any other member of my family leads me to believe that you're an amateur. I'll have none of this. Many have come before you and many will come after you and you, sir, have made little or no impression.

That's perfect. That was well stated. It's exactly like My mindset of it Like there As far as like Attacks that I've had Over the course Like you put yourself

On social media And you You put yourself In a position Where people have An opinion on you And But as far as

Opinions goes This gentleman He He just He doesn't have What it takes To get under my skin I was amused

All day long What a cunt Yeah he is a cunt That's for sure i am i'm tempted to give out his name should we do that is that a fun thing yeah yeah i think so i mean he's what is it you're gonna go like his facebook or like his pretty much i was gonna show his comment yeah i don't care yeah i think that needs to be done people yeah i'm much more protective of Emma Watson or a random person on the internet. But this guy, fuck him. Yeah, yeah.

Anyway, I showed it. He's probably a troll, more likely. It's probably one of your actual fans who's gotten into that Facebook group and he's stirring up a little shit for you. It's possible. Yeah, he was just a real cunt to me for no reason whatsoever

and uh you know i don't know i i guess i was amused by it all day long and in terms of handling drama this was so easy i uh too experienced for this nonsense next topic i have some ama questions here that i can link you to that i like that idea yeah our wonderful patrons sent to us oh we did our uh our hangout with the patrons sunday we were in there for three hours dude guys did you get fooled by daylight savings time i well you know this window this room has no windows honestly i was just having so much fun and it was flowing really well and before i knew it it was 5 p.m and i was like i literally went it's 5 p.m i'm leaving see you guys later the guys oh one more question and i was like all right one

more and that's it i'm fucking leaving like we've been here three hours you know we say we're gonna do it for an hour and uh think that's $50 a month if you want to come. I'm not promising three hours every month, but that was certainly the case this month. I wanted it to be a long one because we had gotten a lot of attention. We hadn't missed one in months, but we had missed one three or four months ago and people were

fussing. Anyway, I didn't want it to be short. I wanted people to feel good about it. It was also a big crowd, so that was another reason to go longer. But the clock on my wall is an analog clock. So it said 4 o'clock. And I remember, like, I don't know.

I guess we were probably two hours into it, and I'm like, it's only been an hour? Oh, well. You know? I don't want everyone to be happy. Yeah, I don't have any analog clock so i i it didn't fool me i just didn't look at my uh my phone for a long time and time really flew hey may you said you're gonna paste it in yes oh i'm sorry i didn't paste it i never actually did what i said i was gonna do there you go um yeah these are fun yeah

um oh ufc fights which you'd like to see this year if you could be a matchmaker which fighters are you most excited for at the moment uh yair rodriguez is probably the one i'm most excited for at the moment um i don't know who he's about the fight and like an event or so maybe edgar or something another um i really like yair uh i think he's probably top two or three favorite fighters to watch he's really flashy lots of kicks and lots of uh lots of cool kicks you know lots of spin kicks and stuff that you'd see in a fucking ninja movie or something so he's a really fun fighter to watch 2015 and 16 were awesome for mma like it was just a lot of fun right you know

cornier was doing his thing mcgregor was doing his thing you know we had the left hook larry took a title like the whole rousey thing yeah the whole route like it was some really interesting stuff i was so happy 2017 has sucked so far what do we have fucking has two but two or three bad judging decisions like if you go back to lozans fight um that was a lot of issues yeah yeah well i. We're all happy with it, but lots of issues with the New York stuff. All kinds of things with USADA and people pissing hot.

Oh, it's okay retroactively. The Brooklyn card was terrible. Some of my favorite fighters are either Cruz is out, I think, with the bad feet. Cormier missed his fight. And then Jones missed his fight against Cormier. And then... Oh, he was so sad.

Cormier... Cormier, thank you. I felt so bad for Cormier when Dana White is breaking the news to him that Jones is hurt or he didn't make weight. Whatever the case was. Steroids. There you go. Something much less defensible. He said, can I fight him anyway?

Which is pretty badass. Khabib versus Something much less defensible. He said, can I fight him anyway? Which is pretty badass. Khabib versus Ferguson was one of the most exciting fights that was going to happen. And it's been set up and failed like three times now. I don't know how closely you followed that specific

little story, but I guess he started having extreme liver pains the morning of. He's still like six pounds off his target weight. I think blood wasn't getting to his kidneys. I read liver. And they took him to like, I don't know what Dana White called it.

They took him to some bullshit hospital and just, you know, they just stuck an IV in him right away because that's what they do. Instead of taking him to a UFC doctor, who's like a fight doctor who knows who Kib namagaretov even is you know who would have been like oh shit habib come with us we got it you're the fucking co-main of it basically to a huge pay-per-view tomorrow night millions are at risk let's get you some special treatment that didn't happen as the fight didn't happen there's a chance that maybe around it too yeah well okay so here's the scoop khabib was having a hard time making weight and uh instead of going to the ufc like like

they're like look this guy's sick he's his kidneys not getting blood or liver whatever it is um let's get him to a hospital things are going terribly wrong so that's what they do dana's like you should have called me i, you know, advised him to fucking drain his blood, make weight and, you know, fight anyway or something like that. So there are some people saying, well, Dana's just a shit ball who would have killed the fighter. So the event would go on, right? There's some people who say, well, this is all in the up and up. He didn't feel well. He went to the hospital, et cetera. And there are others who say, oh, he probably didn't want to go through the post-fight steroid testing.

So he found a way out and said, oh, weight cut's not going well. Let's get me hydrated and not do the fight. So they drug test pre and post? They drug test after the fight. Yeah, on fight night. That seems, oh, but they want to make sure that they still get their money even if someone pees hot

so they have them do it afterward, right? I hadn't thought of it like that. I guess maybe the other thinking is like if I test you before the fight, now is the time to do whatever it is you're going to do. You want some steroids? You want some whatever? Do you have an upper you're going to take so you can be high

during the fight? It depends when they test them. Do they piss test literally post-fight? Because amphetamines are out of your system so goddamn quick. You could be on meth and they wouldn't know in a couple days. Well, if they tested you before the fight, let's say they test

you two hours before the fight. Now you get a chance to fight with something in you. I don't know what would help. Some greenies. Some meth to get up. Maybe that fast twitch reflexes are a little bit better. Maybe you're fucking pumped up. Maybe you just pick your own face off.

Whatever that dude from Limitless took. That's why you test post-fight. I would want blood doping. I feel like a lot of those guys it seems to me just just just my outside opinion on the ufc and mixed martial arts in general that there are guys who have a fighting style and the skills to extend a fight into the later rounds if they so wish they can play they can fight defensively and then keep the guy off of them or they can get the guy and like maybe they're the aggressor but they're really just holding the guy

against the cage for a couple of rounds to tire him out like blood doping seems to me like something that would be really helpful and then you know when does that stop showing that no that doesn't show it well what it is is they can detect that you had an iv which is done through blood doping so that's's how they detect that you had an IV. We're getting outside of my depth, but I'm pretty sure there's plastics in the fluid. Like even if I gave you saline solution or something, I would detect the bag and the line and that other stuff.

And that's how they find IVs. Nowadays they're just butt chugging the kind of blood they need. That's not how it works. I don't think you can literally put blood up your butt, though. Oh, you can. It just won't work. Okay, I stand corrected. I'm with same page now. Actually, you know what?

Actually, you put a bunch of blood in your ass, you go out there, and they're like, all right, let's see if you can make 175, and then as they're weighing you and it says 178, you just go, oh! And no one, no one is going to notice the number on that scale. Scott, you're fine. You know there's a new rule. If you shit yourself

during the fight, you lose. Over. Yeah. I can think off the top of my head, at least two fights where people shit themselves. On purpose? Sometimes? No. I think, my theory is, that they take a diuretic to help them make weight, and then the next day on fight night, they still have issues.

Ooh, man. That would be the scariest thing to me as a fighter. I feel like I'd have to be like, okay, I need to be at this weight by the 15th, so by the 1st, I am at that weight because I am not risking getting out there and literally getting the shit kicked out of me and on the ground just As judging me and Joe Rogan comes over like oh, oh, that'd be horrible. Yeah, I was telling the story I can't remember which fighter it was but Joe's like, you know pre fight this fighter looks at me

He goes bro. I might fucking shit my pants out there I think I'm gonna shit my pants out there. I think I'm going to shit my pants. And Joe was like, for real? He's like, yeah, I might shit myself. And he, like, won in the ring, got the win, and then, like, even after that, he was like, Joe was like, how close? He was like, oh, so close.

Almost did it. Almost shit myself in there. That would be super embarrassing. And we've watched that clip before of the guy shitting himself in the ring. Oh, that was bad. And it is. That was not the ufc level but yeah that was not the ufc level it was the amateur guy he was like from the midwest fighting on the east coast like in boston or something like that and there was a lot of poop and and when and you can there's a look that comes over you can

tell when each individual person realizes that there's poop like when the ref sees the poop you he immediately see him he's like oh poop all right let's take a step back from the poop and like everybody and then he's people start letting each other know that there's poop so nobody steps in it you know it's like whoa just poop just poop you know because after a fight the ring is like rushed with people who are like like cut men and doctors and officials and like guys with microphones are like whoa shit shit and the guy has to take this long walk of shame out of the cage through the crowd like up into the locker room or whatever and and and like some people avert their eyes and just look away like you know as to not shame him but so many are either pointing camera phones at him or like giggling and laughing and pointing and like, oh, whoa, whoa. He shit himself.

Look at his ass. It's shit. It's shit, Jim. You smell it? I would be in the avert your eyes category because it would viscerally make my stomach hurt. I'd be like – I'd be vicariously embarrassed for him where I – oh, I do the worst. where I do the worst. I hated talent shows as a kid in middle school and high school

because watching my classmates do stupid skills that they were bad at because their parents told them they were good, it makes my stomach hurt. I hate that feeling of watching someone humiliate themselves, which is why all those cringe videos, I don't watch those.

It's uncomfortable. It makes me feel bad for the person. I don't feel like, ha ha, he's uncomfortable. And also cringe feel bad for the person I don't like feeling like haha He's uncut and also cringe by the way a lot of people use cringe And when they should be saying this person is more confident than me and attempting something I'm not secure enough to try when it's like look at this guy going up and failing At a bar trying to hit on a random girl dressed like a princess or something. It's like ooh cringe

It's like yeah, he was being goofy and kind of douchey, but he's also just trying to have fun. That was a stupid example, but you know what I mean. Yeah, if they were just, if they were hating on a guy who had hit on a hot girl and gotten turned down, saying that was cringe, it's like, how do you think you get pussy? Like a big part of the pussy is the rejection that may or may not come before.

You're going to get way more rejections than successes. Yeah. Dude, I hate the cringe very rarely does someone say something is cringeworthy and i'm on the same team as that guy i i feel like it's usually this like oh someone did a thing that was slightly awkward and i found a way to make myself appear superior to them you know i'm just going to take team i would have i'm too cool for that and it's almost like a social virtue signaling where you're like i recognize this behavior as abnormal and as we all agree

we're we're above this right everyone is everyone cringing with me at this is everyone cringing okay we are yes we would never find ourselves in this predicament chaps i remember my mother told me that like you know part of growing up is being harder to get embarrassed. You know, you're just a little more confident and comfortable in your own skin. And whenever someone says, oh, that guy is so cringeworthy, I think you're still growing up. You know, that's what's happening. You are not comfortable in your own skin. So you're just kind of trying to get a leg up over somebody who is.

to get a leg up over somebody who is. And then there's, of course, cringeworthy things when you see someone who's completely out of their depth socially and they're doing something that it's like, oh, he doesn't realize it right now. But everybody who's watching this

from the outside in is realizing that they can see right through his subtle veil of famed social consciousness. He's acting like someone who is okay socially, okay socially, but it's clear that if you look a little bit more that, like, he's really awkward in this and what he's done in general.

His fucking, everything about it is cringe. I see cringe stuff all the time that I honestly am like, oh. You see it. Yes. I know what that feels like to do something and be like, oh, why'd you do that you didn't mean to say that thing you just but you're not doing it mean spirited you are looking at them and going oh i empathize and i sympathize with you because i know what it's like to be in an

uncomfortable situation yeah i'm not uncomfortable i'm not a moderator on the cream subreddit or anything i'm not like the the arbiter of all things cringe is like oh yeah does someone humiliate themselves publicly or on the internet? Put it here for all time's sake. Let's all look at it and laugh. Like, that's kind of shitty. In the same way, I think, that the propagation of those leaked nude photographs is a bit shitty. I just can't help but be interested in them.

Yeah. You do feel bad. Yeah. Like, because you don't, I don't know. You can't feel too bad. Even if you're like, oh like oh whatever they're famous and they keep it on the cloud it's like yeah but right you wouldn't like it if your picture i guess you said the pictures weren't even naked or no you said a couple of them were but mostly it was just

her trying on dresses and shit and so that's not humiliating and i kind of saw hundreds i saw like there are a million of those. There's so many dresses, so many like award show type dresses and like maybe like 20 or 30 bathing suits and you get like two to three positions per bathing suit. See, that's the thing. That's why I think that like this was, these aren't

like vain photographs. These aren't the kind of selfies that a lot of people take and that we often see like shared around. This is literally someone who appears to be cataloging their wardrobe so that they can best utilize it you know i mean she's her look is a big part of her career she's constantly on red carpets and doing award shows and on this show or that show so like yeah this is the chick who actually needs 800 pairs of shoes right like she was working yeah was working. All those dresses and bathing suits, that's what she does.

She's figuring out how she looks in them. She's not smiling in any of the pictures. She's like, this is work, catalog, catalog. It's next position. And it's not like it's a sexy thing where there's some guy taking this picture like in a Jennifer Lawrence type situation. It's her female assistant.

I like Emma Watson. I think she's really well spoken. i only really know her intelligent and uh and fun to uh i like going back if you ever go back and look at like the interaction between the young harry potter actors they all seem such like such admirable children it almost makes you think that well i'm serious it make i swear to god like when you see how they interact together and their sense of humor and how light they're taking things but how mature at the same time they are to take on what they're doing, whatever rearing process

a little British actor or actress goes through seems to be pretty fucking effective because look at the three of them. I know you guys probably don't follow Rupert Grimm or whatever his name is, the red-headed guy or any of those other guys. But they're all doing well and they all seem like cool people.

When I watched the movies, I liked Hagrid the most. The hairy guy who lived in a separate shack down by the woods. I know Hagrid. Probably Beacon. Have you read the books? Anyone?

No, I didn't really get into it. I read every one of those books. I own all the books. I like them a lot. I've heard they're great. I probably should read them at some point. It's fucking fantastic. I consumed those books so quickly. It just felt like a big bag of Cheez-Its. And you keep getting close to the bottom of that pound and a half of Cheez-Its. But it's okay, because there's six more bags, each one larger than the last.

That's how Harry Potter did it. Oh, Nirvana. We're in this group text, and Kyle shows a picture of, I think, their goldfish. But anyway, they came in a box that was like a cubic foot, right? And you guys, if you know the goldfish box, it opens like a school milk carton, but it's gigantic. It's like a human head. And Taylor writes, it was the funniest thing to me.

He's like, oh, I see you've got the single size serving. And Kyle was like, it's 40 ounces. And I'm like, yeah, I mean single as in one day, not one sitting. Jesus, I'm not a monster. I was on Amazon one night. Got on the Prime Pantry. And I just had like a craving for like cheese crackers and I was like let's order some cheese crackers we'll have enough for all times

and I ordered like I don't know 80 cheese crackers and then I was like and the related results was those goldfish and the price per ounce was just too good to pass up so I had 30 fucking ounces and yeah I got a lot of those things. You do get the, I mean, when you say buying cheese crackers,

at this point I feel like it's almost like Kleenex. Like you don't say, I need to get a tissue. I need to get a Kleenex is what people say. Like give me a Kleenex. Like if the brand has overtaken the item in the same way when someone says, like bring cheese crackers. I hear cheese it. I hear cheese-its. I think what I'm talking about is...

Snips can eat shit. Fuck those. I'm talking about the Ritz, like, it's two Ritz crackers with cheese in the middle. Like cheese crackers. Yeah, I know what you're saying. The one with peanut butter in the middle. That's the ticket.

I like the cheese crackers with the peanut butter in the middle. Kitty's allergic to peanut butter, so I have cheese and cream cheese. Cheese and cream cheese. And they put it on the Ritz's that have everything. They have the Works Ritz that's like butter and all of the things. Butter and salt. All the ingredients. No, no, no.

There's four different kinds of Ritz. And this encompasses all of the different kinds into one it's it's like a the works uh i live with someone allergic to peanuts so like that's awful are you going above and beyond or is this just what's required you know like really what's required because like if you're not careful like she'll get fucked up and she might die you You know, like, like if she got like enough peanut butter, like that would come out of a cracker on your pinky in her mouth or like the way it would get there, of course,

is, you know, maybe I get a little peanut butter on like a plate or a knife or a fork or a spoon and it doesn't quite get clean. And then she uses it. Or if it's like even peanut oil, because I eat at five guys and they fry their french fries and peanut oil so i haven't tested it on her but i would imagine that greasy fingers and greasy plates and then you grab a refrigerator door all of a sudden that's acid to her um yeah that makes a

lot of sense now that you break it down with like the oils and it's like if you eat spicy food before you have sex and you forget to wash your hands and even though you think your hands are clean because i used a napkin, there's actually lots of capsaicin all over them and it'll make it unpleasant. So oils and little bits. Except a little bit of burning. For her, she could die.

So it's a little more serious. Yeah, she's so allergic to them that, and she had a friend like when she was growing up who did die of anaphylactic shock brought on by peanut butter. And it was the situation I described where like a piece of silverware had peanut butter on it and they didn't know it and this kid used it and he fucking died of anaphylactic shock in his hospital room so she's super like uh sensitive to that i think she was also in a fire one time so like anytime

i'm fucking around with fire she's like have you ever been burned and it's just like the most it's just like of course i've been burned don't you know who the fuck i am like i got blisters down from burns and she's got this way of being like have you ever been burned because i've been burned and you don't want to get burned and it's like yeah i've been burned it's okay that's what i like you know who the fuck i am like yeah yeah actually most people when they say that are full of shit, but Kyle has a good point. I'm over there with my flamethrower lighting a candle. I've used that flamethrower for a lot of stuff.

It says that only 13 people have died from peanuts allergies from 1996 to 2006 in the US. Only 13. Well, I guess that's because of the EpiPens. Oh, I know. I'm saying that's good news

i would have thought that like a lot more kids would die just because they'd go to someone else's house and like the other kid would eat peanut butter or something but i don't know probably most people's allergies aren't as severe all of her allergies are quite severe like like horse um i remember one time i went to this restaurant and attached to the back of the restaurant was like a field and there was a fence and there were horses in that field. And I went to the fence and the horses came over. They were super friendly and I'm like stroking the horses like face and neck. And then I like go home like the day transpires.

And somewhere along the way, some like horse dander like comes off of my sleeves or my hands or something. And her whole face is swollen up and her eyes are running and you can hear from her voice that her throat is constricted and she's like have you had any peanut butter or petted any horses per se and i'm just like nope no I fed a horse peanut butter. I was like, I have not seen a goddamn horse anywhere near here. No, I don't know anything about what's happening to you. And I just went washed up really good. Put all my clothes in the dryer, like went around like cleaning handles and stuff. Just the dryer. The fucker even harder.

I didn't wash him. I took my clothes and shook them out on the couch no there's a couple of clean linen sheets in there i'm fine there's been a couple times like that where i didn't take her allergies seriously even though she'd like talk about it all the time and then something would happen like i saw her get um she got peanut dust once on her hand and like wherever the dust landed were these tiny little burns like it was fucking acid or something it literally like it was the picture you should make you know how they have that where it's like lethal dose of heroin lethal dose of fentanyl you should have the

lethal dose of peanut dust for one ground up that's it that'd death. How much could she eat and just have it play off as a swollen thing? I think if she ate one peanut, she might survive it, but with her... She has other health concerns. Maybe she dies. A peanut in the middle of her, though. That's bad, right? I feel like

if she took a peanut and smushed it on her forearm, that might just be a bad day. But to take it and put it in her body, you know, it could close her airway or something. I think it would close everything along the way. Yeah, that'd be terrible. New topic? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Where did you see yourselves going in life when you were a child? Did you live up to your dreams? Where do you see yourself in the future now? So actually have this one. My future was planned from when I was little. Like when I was 10, like once I got past the whole like I'm going to be an ice cream salesman phase,

I was going to take over my father's accounting firm. This was just like, I don't know, his partner. My father was a 50-50 partner in a small accounting firm, and his partner's kids had no interest in being accountants, and my brother had no interest in being an accountant, so this empire was mine, and my father was quite professionally successful with this firm, and I would daydream, like, oh, I'd take his half and his partner's half, and of course I'll have to pay some staff because I can't be two people. But, you know, it seems like quite a profitable life in my future. And then I think people know my story.

I was an accountant. And within like six weeks, I'm wanting to crash my car for time off. And, you know, like, I think if I broke my arm, I'd get like a week off. They'd have to give it to me. You know, when you wake up and you're like, God, I wish I had the flu. Right. That kind of thought process. You're like, oh man, this job must suck.

Well, I mean, it's a great job if that's what you're going for. Would you like to make above average pay and have financial stability and set hours or not set hours? Would you like to never travel or always travel? Accountants have a lot of great options. They're the bad boys that lawyers wish they were.

Everybody knows the CPA is where the pussies at. I think that one killed in the accounting cubicle area. It's stolen from Parks and Rec. What's the test you have to take to be a CPA? Rogan's going to come after me. What is it called? I think it's just the CPA exam. People think the class

four, people think the bar exam is how you get all the tail. It's the class four CPA exam. I'll tell you what, as soon as they notarize that bitch I got assholed. No, that's not the truth. People think the bar exam is hard. That shit's a fucking joke. The failure rate think the bar exam is hard. That shit's a fucking joke. The failure rate on the CPA exam is 98%. Does that have more to do perhaps with...

So I'm wondering, like, before you take the... So what does a lawyer complete throughout his career or his education before he takes the bar versus what a CPA would do before he could take the bar on the minimum. LSAT and the bar, right? They do the LSAT to get into law school. They go to eight years of school total, whereas accounting, I don't know if you can still get a CPA.

If you can get a CPA, it depends on the state, but I guess I knew Pennsylvania and Jersey and Delaware. The shortest I know now from friends who do accounting is five-year programs. Right, yeah. Straight to master's. Sometimes it's possible in four. At least it used to be. But you really had to have your ducks in a row.

And all your electives had to be accounting-based and stuff like that. But most people take five years. The thing about the accounting exam, I don't know how I got on this, is there's like six sections of it. And when you pass one, that pass kind of sticks for like 10 years or something. So like a lot of people on their second try,

they only have like two more tests left. And when they focus, they can get this. And there's totally, I guarantee there's that one guy who's like, I take it one piece at a time how long did it take six months yeah is it uh like the man 98 of people fail that can't be right or we wouldn't have any accountants let me double check people the first time yeah right just keep taking it yeah you just roll it roll it up again. It is a good job to have. Accountants are pretty much always set. Because you always need an accountant.

That's not a good argument, though, because someone's always going to need a McDonald's burger and they're going to build robots. So maybe they'll build an accounting bot. You would think accountron i mean i much more you could trust your your your accountron much more easily than you could trust trust bob so this thing your money manager says it's an 80 fail rate not 98 i don't know if i'm out of date or if i'm going off jersey or if i'm just wrong but that's still very high. Yeah.

I don't know how it works for the accounting test, but the difference with the bar is like, it depends what state you're going to practice in. And so apparently some States like California, it's apparently, I don't even know if this is the right one, but I think California, it's like super fucking hard to get your California law practicing degree or

whatever the hell. But you know, if you go to I don't know Massachusetts or Maine or some other random state like maybe it's easier there I don't know Louisiana so Louisiana who knows the where was it the rest of the package back to the question you know where do you see yourself going there's gonna be an accountant I was going to have actually my dream home was actually not as nice as my current home i uh but i thought it would be nice i thought it would have a fence around it and you know whatever like four bedrooms and a wife and a kid like i thought that was was where i was headed and um a place where hooligans

would fear to tread right across your land i don't know like did you see um what was that harry and the hendersons do you you remember that movie with the Sasquatch? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, with John Lithgow. Yeah, where they hit a Sasquatch and they're like, oh, we can't just leave it here. So they put it on the roof of the car, take it home, and befriend it. I guess I thought I'd have a house in that class. You know, like a nice home.

That's a sure reference. Right? Do the six of you out there recognize this reference? Do you have a better feel for the home now? So that's you two and then four more people. I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, you're talking my language. Harry and the Hendersons. Yeah.

Can you name a four-room? You know he sticks four. Like, Bill Cosby lived in a row home. I'm trying to think of a nice TV sitcom house that was bigger than most, but not outrageous. Ah, yeah. The Fresh Prince

of Bel-Air, of course. That was pretty outrageous. How about Seventh Heaven? They had a large home. Maybe that. You know, the father from Seventh Heaven turned out to be a pedophile. Oh, I heard about that. Yeah, his cunt of an ex-wife released the private recordings she took

while they were at their joint therapist of him admitting to touching some boy's cock like decades before or something like that. And look, I'm not defending the guy who touches boys' cocks, okay? But he sounded very conflicted about it, and it was him admitting some painful shit that he didn't understand about himself in front of a medical professional who was there to help him with that shit,

and his wife. And she took that recording and released it. Yeah, that's shady because, like, that's just a... I mean, I don't know. Now, I want to know that he... I need to know that about him, sure. But it does not excuse her huge, massive, gargantuan betrayal of his trust, especially considering it certainly wasn't evident from those recordings

or from anything else we've gathered about that man that he was likely to, like, offend again or re-offend if you even want to call it that it really seemed who knows like it's one of those things where it's like if you admit it to your doctor you should be able to have it kept private because otherwise people are never going to come forward and try and get help with those things but then as soon as someone says that they're a pedophile you have to be like oh fuck like the there are children out there and am i gonna through tolerance of this risk victimizing a child out there like what if maybe the right answer is the therapist has some discretion right like if she feels like he's

a clear and present danger we we alert the neighbors and if she's in a case like this we don't yeah i i, I think that is the case that remember the old Tony, we watched enough Sopranos, you know, she laid it out there repeatedly. She's like, hey, if I think you're about to cause somebody harm, I have to tell people. But you know, everything else will stay on the down low. You know, I think we know the rules there. It just seemed, and I don't remember the exact nature of like, if he was a therapist or a psychologist or a marriage counselor or like what his credentials were and it matters, but it was clear from the recording that he thought this was all private fucking

just between the three of us here in this medical sort of mental health scenario situation. Is he in jail now or what's he? I think he's just disgraced. I want to see you is his name oh uh let me look at it again real quick so what i wanted to be when i grew up um i went for a while because i started playing hockey so young where i was like i'm gonna be in the nhl i'm gonna be in the nhl and then like the older i got and the more hockey i played because like i was like oh i'm all about the nhl gonna go be a goalie in the nhl and i'm like 10 or whatever and then by the time i got to be playing like actually pretty pretty decently competitively uh when i was like

17 or so it was just like god damn like i am so fucking stressed out over this and this doesn't amount to a hill of beans compared to one game in the nhl where like i would just imagine myself being out there and then someone flips a puck from middle ice and it catches a bounce and it goes in or something and just thinking like oh man like that would be so stressful and and it got to the point where i didn't enjoy the actual act of playing hockey because like the whole unless i got like a shutout i felt like i failed in a way because it was like obviously you the buck stops with you like people blame you and shit goes wrong and it was like i just realized when i was probably like 17 like this isn't fun

anymore like i'm not enjoying myself when i'm going to a game i'm like oh fuck like i'm gonna get shelled tonight because our defenseman's out and i'm gonna get blamed for all or whatever it was and so i was like fuck that and then uh through college i really didn't commit to too much because i i don't know i always had the opinion of like i'm not gonna know at all like i thought about it like when i was in college like man if i had to explain to someone else what my dad does for a living i probably couldn't do it justice and i should know that but that this ethereal business world that's out there is so like confusing as a young kid like you don't even know and so i kind of just played it by ear and tried stuff as i went and you know i didn't really have a solid idea like the whole hockey thing shattered i never would have been

good enough anyway obviously nobody makes it but like having that be like oh this is not this is not for me and then kind of being like well let's see what it's like in the business world let's see if i enjoy any of this and thankfully i have found areas that i really do enjoy but kyle i i wanted that girl i didn't care about anything else uh i just wanted a girl and uh and everything else was kind of secondary to that so everything else in life whether it be career education and everything else was kind of secondary to that. So everything else in life, whether it be career, education, or anything else, was going to be formed around getting that girl. And so I just went after that, and then whenever all that fizzled out and I went into an incredible spiraling depression.

So to say that there's, you know, was there a plan? A little bit, you know, get the girl. I guess I was there a plan a little bit you know get the girl um i guess i accomplished it and got the girl eventually sort of but you know then it all fell apart into that spiraling depression from whence my video game you know like habit what it is what is it about the girl that was so special what made her stand out amongst the sea of women in the world probably lack of perspective that's what it usually is at that age right that wasn't a dig like everybody was drawn to something about her though uh it's very intelligent uh very good sense of humor uh very outgoing and personable and um

um i said intelligent uh that that's pretty important um very attractive, I thought. And, I don't know, adventurous. Like, she immediately, like, left our little small part of the world and went to Atlanta. And that seemed, you know, I saw so many of, you know, her counterparts, like, immediately, like, gain 30 pounds and have two kids. And she had, you know, bigger aspirations. And she had, you know, she took bigger ass. She had bigger aspirations and like like like she she didn't want her life to be as small as as as some were comfortable with theirs being. And I and I liked that. And so I was willing to and I did, you know, bend everything else to her. And and so, you know, that's that all fell apart and again depression and the video games and then youtube and then shooting stuff and then her again and then losing depression and then and then here we are now do you still keep like uh do you still keep in touch with her at all like of how she's doing or is it a total no total total blackout um no idea uh don't want to know um yeah that's all over

yeah we probably should never speak to each other again. It would just not go well. She's your Tammy from Parks and Rec. Ah, Tammy 1. Tammy, any Tammy, really. Not Tammy. It was evil, though. Oh, that's true.

Was it played by Megan Mullally? I was going for, in a sense, that they were best apart. Not that she was like Tammy. Now I'm getting my Tammys mixed up. I don't know the lore of Parks and Rec.

I just don't know. I just know those two, when you put them together, all of a sudden everything went down. Do you guys get stupid into lore stuff about games sometimes? like I when I got into Total War Warhammer recently now I'm playing magic the gathering online with Kyle and shiz but I knew I knew I'd fucking do it but I haven't spent any money other than what you have to get to start start up and it was still fun but Total War Warhammer like

I just started playing it and it was like oh you get to pick your lord for your army and i was like wow this guy's like a giant ogre half like ogre half centaur like like giant beast it's like kolek sun eater with a big hammer and it's just brutal like 20 feet tall i'm like man that's an awesome lord and then you like look a little bit deeper and it's like oh my god this is a whole world lord of the rings-y-esque probably not that deep because who knows how many you know fever dream maniacs spent wakeless nights creating this world but just learning about it then and then i get deep into it where i'm reading about like political moves that fake lords made in a fantasy world and i'll be like oh fuck no wonder the empire hated the bretonians so

much in that campaign i just played a lot has been explained and i'll realize like this is a complete waste of my life isn't it what the fuck am i doing i don't see my game of thrones book i love it though anywhere around here but uh stuff i've got that big thick uh i think woody has it too uh game of thrones book with like all of the back information on the houses and it goes way back to like the first men and all that stuff that predates the starks or you know goes back to brandon the builder and all that shit um and i can go through there and and read for you know half an hour or something just like oh wow this is pretty cool and then but but but then i wake up somewhere into it it's that same sort of relay realization that feeling you get at least when

you're you start typing out a long thought out response to someone on the internet and then like halfway through it you're like the fuck am i doing this is meaningless that person might not even read it if they do what's to come of it delete in the same regard i'll take that game of thrones but go fucking god i could have read an encyclopedia at least i'd know more about antarctica or apples or afghanistan or one of the a's i don't thirst for lore like you guys do if i thirst for anything it's like top line story advancement you know when i think of game of thrones i'm not like oh tell me more about the first man i'm like hey can we get the major plot line when i played skyrim i didn't do side quests i just blasted straight up the middle killed the dragon and was like i won and people are like no you have to find the dark

brothers or something and i'm like i already won like you don't only eat the toppings off the pizza yeah i just i'm wired all that matters yeah i'm like you're? He's like, it's finished! Yeah, I'm wired differently. That's all that matters. You're about completing it, but it's not a puzzle to be solved. It's an adventure to enjoy. Yes. And, like, you can play hundreds of hours, many hundreds of hours. Like, there are so many things to discover and skills to focus on.

You know, you could do like me and Taylor and sit there, ping, ping, ping, ping, ping, ping, and like make your armoring skill 100 after dozens of hours. But you could also just like collect flowers for days on end, like real world days on end. You could just be collecting flowers. I was about to say it's not weird to me that other people could enjoy it, but I don't.

And then when you started collecting flowers, it's weird to me that other people could enjoy it but i don't and then when you started collecting flowers yeah it's weird to me that other people would like that dude i actually agree on the alchemy front with skyrim because that is one route that alchemy was the thing you went through like and you had to collect flowers and get ingredients and shit that was so boring to me that even i didn't get involved in alchemy in skyrim like i did every other thing maxed out, and then if I happened upon some rare leaves, I'd make a shitty potion for XP and toss it. But, like, I don't know. I'm totally on Kyle's

team of this, though, where, like, when I finished, I played Skyrim all the way through multiple times. Like, there were times where I'd be like, I'm gonna run through the whole main campaign, and then hit every single side quest. And then there were more times where I'd go, I'm going to hit every single side quest in this entire fucking game

that's available, and then I'm going to start the main storyline. Because then it was almost like, oh, this isn't some newbie from some shit town. This is someone who's been going around. He enters Yargolf's fucking white horse town, and he's already Slayer of a dragon somewhere else even though he hasn't slayed the beginning dragon or whatever like i don't know i liked building up the story around it and half the fun of like thinking about like this battle game of total war

or magic and shit magic less so because the lore and magic is so deep and it's been going for so long that it's basically just a hodgepodge of possibilities where it's like oh it's just a bunch of robots now for the next set. Fuck it. You know, different plane. But, I don't know. I love lore and shit, if it's the right thing. If it has anything to do with space, I don't care as much, but if it's like elves and goblins

and ancient dwarf strongholds, for some reason, I'm totally, totally into that. Let me slip an ad read in, and then I want to talk about magic a little bit more. not too much uh movement watches i already did that one nature box caught yourself at least what do you do when you want to snack but all you can find is junk food rely on your self-control to resist that temptation please you eat the junk food start snacking healthy with nature box nature box makes snacks that actually taste great and are better

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We played just before the show tonight, 8-7. Ooh. Come back. He shouldn't have started keeping track until he was way more confident that he'd be much better than you at Magic. We played a couple three-player games yesterday, I believe. That was a lot of fun.

Do you win the whole trailer? I won the second one, and Chiz won the first one. Three-player is a little harder to determine because if you come out the gate too hot, people will target you immediately. people will target you immediately and uh kyle uh frankly handed the win a bit to chis because we were kyle and i were both playing kyle and i were both you can give your side in a moment uh kyle and i or me and chis were both playing mono white which focuses a lot on life gain and defensive stuff you don't have to tell me what mono-white is, Taylor. I know.

It's David Duke's preferences on Plenty of Fish. And then Kyle was playing mono-red, and that's like right out the gate. Fast attacks, three damage, two damage instance, and I knew I'm like, alright, I gotta... If Kyle comes at me and chis pretty much

evenly i'm confident i can beat chis and one-on-one just because we have very similar decks and i know more about magic and so i think i i'll be able to have better timing on certain moves and kyle went all out for me with those spells pretty much for the whole game you did kill one of chis's creatures but i brought it on myself in a way because i played too many life gain cards too quickly and made myself a target and so you did do technically the right thing and pinging me down but in the midst of it there were a couple turns where you could have thrown some shade chiz's way so that he didn't just have an immense you know force that hadn't been pinged at all yet when you lost,

and then it was obviously a huge win for Chiz. The thing about it was, I picked the red deck because Chiz was complaining about my green deck, that it was unfair, so I was like, all right, I'll play the red deck. He has a good point. I knew it wasn't going to be conducive to a three-player free-for-all,

and I initially planned on just saving my spells, just stockpiling them and keeping seven cards in my hand the whole game. And then I played that one card that like untaps every time, taps and then untaps every time you play an instant. And then after three, it becomes a planeswalker. And my intention wasn't to like make it a planeswalker. It was a three mana card that I had and I wanted it out I wanted it out there rather than having to discard a hand next turn. And I put it out there, and I was like,

oh, shit, well, I cast three spells, I can make it a Planeswalker. So I just fucking did. And every time, I had to target you with all of that madness because you just had gained 10 life to 10 before. And I think I did like seven or eight damage to you on turn three. A good amount, yeah. Yeah. A high amount of damage.

And that very much. That deck kills the fuck out of people 1v1. It's so fast. That's what I wanted to happen. I only attacked Chiz for the whole beginning part of that game because I'm like, if I can get rid of the other white player in this game, I will dominate a late game. So mono red deck, which is what you were playing. Not because I'm like.

So I have because after team after turn like seven Like it's game over broke. That's what I'm saying like late game white is gonna beat red Handle every time like especially my red cuz it's I have nothing larger than three mana in there like everything is three mana or smaller It's 21 lands like it's nothing but like haste creatures and And and like burn spells three damage to target player or or five day i got i've got a couple of their like four and five damage to target player the timer thing is stressing me out a little bit because it seems like i hit the button way faster than you guys to keep it going because like after both of our games i had like 20 minutes

more than you guys i had a lot of time left where you guys didn't and i guess i haven't learned the timing of thinking out my moves yet because there were times where you guys were taking like two minute turns doing a bunch of shit and i was like so feeling under the clock that i'm like oh he's down to 13 minutes but i only have 15 you know i'm only one two minute turn away from being below him and i i got that into too much of my head as like this is a new thing for the game when i should be thinking of it as if the time runs out then it's a waste of a game basically like you can't yeah i guess and we've raised the time limit up now yeah you did do if you play real magic at like a friday night magic there is a time limit out of necessity, so you can't play all goddamn night.

But... But... But... Anyway, there's a little bit of breathing. We can keep talking about magic though, Kyle. I'm sure no one will mind. No. I was laughing at

Chiz keeping the tally of wins, but I do think that it's going to be a fun rivalry for you guys now because I saw him post that, the 8-2-1, a couple days ago, and seeing that 8-7-1 pop up recently was fucking hilarious because you know that Chiz didn't want to type that. He didn't want to do it. He wanted to start a new counter and be like, all right, now that Taylor's in the mix,

we'll start a freeway thing and we'll see what benefits we have. But no, he's like, overplayed my hand again, Chizzy boy, and then it's 7-1. Now, in Chizzy's defense, he will say that my deck was unfair because I spent money on cards and he hadn't yet. But on PKN last Tuesday, I gave the recipe for how to buy your cards and explained how easy it was.

The cards are pennies a piece. I spent $7 or $8 or something like that on cards to do what I want to do. You start with 1,200 cards, but not the ones you want necessarily. Ah, Lord Vader is gone. No more.

Wait. Everybody gave Woody not the ones you want necessarily ah lord vader is gone no no more yeah everybody everybody gave woody uh shit about breathing into the mic so he just showed up as a sith this week a sith lord breathing into the mic as vader right there that i i forgot you were gonna do that and now you have a darth vader costume that's how i get people come over and they're like they like see my big box of costumes and they're like why would any adult have this and i'm like my big box of costumes i've got i wouldn't i got such a big box of costumes and you know they go on like dummies and they go on me and they go on like props and stuff and like i've got clowns and like big bears and uh um like a gumby uh i've got a stay puff marshmallow big bears and like a Gumby. I've got a Stay Puft Marshmallow Man that has an electric battery-powered like inflator on it. So it keeps you puffed up all the time because it's always pumping air into the suit.

I got a lot of costumes. Do you acquire them slowly or did you just go to like one of those Halloween stores and just blow it out one day and get a ton? We did that. one of those Halloween stores and just blow it out one day and get a ton. My kids growing up had a lot of high quality costumes because there was an 80% off sale.

It's easy to think if something's 80% off and you spend like 50 bucks, you get a lot of shit. What is that? Let's do that. 50, what would that be? Divided by.8? You get $400. I did the math wrong. Let's do that. 50, what would that be? Divided by 0.8?

You get $400. I did the math wrong. What was the answer? Isn't it 400? I don't know. Is it 0.8 divided by 15? No. Fuck! It would be 0.8.

Let's do it right. Tell us, CPA! It's not 50 divided's watch. What is it? Let's do it right. Here's the... Tell us, CPA. It's not 50 divided by 0.8, because that's pretty much 50 divided by 1. Is it 0.8 divided by 50? That doesn't seem right. Is it... Shit. Why am I having such a... Oh, please.

Like you guys know. I'll get this. You're saying that you spent $50 on something that was 80% off. So $50 was 20% of the total value

of the items you purchased. So multiply the amount of money spent by five. Yeah. So the point being, it's an excellent, excellent deal. No, it's got to be right. Because that's just the math,

right? Like, if it's $50 off multiplied by five, or not $50 off, 80% off, remaining total is 50, multiplied by five, you get $250. You spent 20% of the normal amount. I really feel silly. It was just because it was so simple. it's easy to overcomplicate i've done oh i've done that before

too where like the question is so simple that i struggle where i'm like eight minus six and like for a second it'll be like eight seven six five four three two one wait what hope no that can't be did you ever do that where you're like, do I count back from starting at the number or do I start at the one? And you're like, what a stupid question. Just don't think about it and subtract it and boom, you got the answer. I have done that, exactly.

Anyway, so yeah, we spent, I guess, the equivalent of $400, but it was 50. And we had a chest of children's costumes and dragons. That would have looked so sketchy so much sketchier than my stash of wigs is this this grown man's stash of children's costumes sizes i think right because you were saying hey hope do you want to be an indian next year she's like i don't know what i want to be yet and you're like princess and then here after that and then you're gonna be this and then you're going to be this after

that, and there's a cat they had after that. Like, the children's pictures, you know, there's like a bunch of, like, oh, yeah, this is my kid's childhood. We have a disproportionate number of pictures of, like, the kids dressed as dragons and princesses and stuff, because around the house, like, playtime just

involved more costumes than normal. Looks like a night at the Podesta home who wants more pizza messed up like bell for beauty and the beast come here you think when they introduce new people to their pedophile ring there's like a learning curve where someone's like that pizza was super lithe and taut and they they're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You meant it has mushrooms and a lot of and a corn hole on it. Or so you'd say. I bet that is a problem where they don't quite

finish the whole... Some very tasty deep dish pizza. Ah. Slathered in ranch. But yeah, what happened was so last week, well, the week before last show, I'd gotten a lot of feedback that my mic was too quiet. And on Skype, like it was already at like 90%.

So I was like, God, I guess I'll turn it up to 100. You know, like it seemed like going from 90 to 91 wouldn't make any difference. And I did do a test recording but it was it seemed fine you know and the test recording it's not always great it's like 30 seconds of us all talking and uh you catch the big issues i guess i didn't catch that i was too loud and it caught my breathing and i had notifications turned on on youtube for like it was like new to me so every comment like was unavoidable. They're popping up on my screens. I couldn't dismiss them because they were popping up in front of like the thing, I guess

behind it in the top right is where you find like how to turn, change your notifications. And I had to read like all 600 like fussing comments at my breathing. So I ordered a Darth Vader costume off Amazon. I'm like, fuck it. I'm breathing the mic next week. Nice. I'm getting ready to buy my Vader costume. It's classic, not annoying.

Say that again. I said it's a classic because you did it in Darth Vader suits. That's like a known breathing thing. Nobody wants to listen to you breathe in the mic. They listened to a series of a man in a dark suit breathing in the mic. I hope my mic is good this week.

I set it back to where it was right, and people said PKN was perfect, but we'll see. Well, if they said that was perfect, I doubt they'll complain this time. That doesn't seem like them. I'm sure you're right. Do we have another? Go ahead, Kyle.

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and be part of the turn-based collectible RPG. Yeah, your quest for creatures is paved with adventure. Quest on. I'm gonna have to play this. I've been talking about it. I'm curious about it. We've been advertising it for so many weeks. I want to know what it's like. And it has so many aspects of things that I like. Like, at this

point, like, I'm gonna... Alright. I'm in so deep with fantasy things that at this point, like in for a penny, in for a pound, just bring it on. Maybe I'll get into Star Trek. Well, we'll get into Star Trek.

Would that be your fantasy? If Bigsby comes down, he's in the room with you with his little pad. Who's Bigsby? He's the guy who's operating your virtual reality life experience that you've been living in thus far. Oh, okay. He comes in from the real world, and he's like, Taylor, are you done yet with the human experience? Would you like to go to the wizard program now? Do you even take time to say goodbye to your family?

No. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. The second I find out it's not real and that I can go to middle earth or wizard school and first of all I'm not going to middle earth and I'm not going to wake up in the body of an orc and they're going to be like we needed extras no make sure that I am a wizard with a name you know I'm going to be either a white level wizard or maybe a gray one actually not a white one I need to work I need a mission need to work up but definitely not the two blue wizards. I wouldn't want them. I like the brown one.

No, I wouldn't want to be him. He's an invalid. Radagast, the brown, all covered in shit. Wait, isn't he the really nimble one who has jackrabbits pull his sleigh around? Rabbits are nimble, but he's an old man covered in shit. Just thinking about that scene of Radagast going like he doesn't know i have ephedine has and he like whips them or whatever the fuck and like they just start boom taken off through the forest yeah like i like i was uh i was upset watching it almost being

like that whole hobbit series like the first time i watched it through it wasn't as bad because i i give so much free credit to lord of the rings lore based stuff because i just like it but trying to re-watch those movies is just upsetting because i have all the happy memories of how good lord of the rings was how dope all the battles were and then this one is some random asshole that they didn't even mention up until now, riding hares through a forest to distract enemies. Like, oh. These are Gunderbad wogs. They will outrun you.

These are rucksackable rabbits. I'd like to see them try. And then it's. Oh, no. Why not use your magic? And the CGI on the rabbits are such horseshit. Right? Like, couldn't he cook up something

to... I wish there was more magic in those movies. I just feel like... There's a wilderness wizard and that's the one that appeals to me. If you could get over some of the details of his implementation, if you were to say, Woody, what kind of wizard do you want to be?

Like a white one, one that like I don't know, is in a castle, a bunch of dirty orcs, or the one that's in the forest. I'd be like a white one one that like i don't know is in a castle a bunch of dirty orcs or the one that's in the forest i'd be like oh that seems like the nicest one yeah but you're that you forget he lives in a shitty little forest hovel and sauron or sauron rather lives in an awesome tower but isn't that a choose to is it or a fank or thank uh he has the library of oranc up there. He's got a seeing stone. So he doesn't even have to leave.

It's like he has internet before the internet. Yes, he has a palantir. Where he touches in the extended edition and he sees the visions of Sauron from there and he's so terrified. And Legolas senses it, obviously. They are not all accounted for. But the forest one, couldn't he easily have a log cabin if he wanted it?

No, no, he does. He has one. I'm just saying that compared to Sauron, Saruman's Tower of Orthanc in Isengard, where he has like full run of the place. Like, obviously movie one Isengard, where Gandalf's walking through the gardens with

him, is the one that you would want. If I'm living there, I want to keep the garden intact. I'm not going to piss off the forest men at all because they are a valuable ally to have, so it seems, because they are ancient and deathly so. That lost the whole war for the dark side. If you roll the tape back a little bit, the whole reason that the dark side loses in Lord of the Rings

is because they slashed and burned that goddamn Fangorn forest. If they went to Home Depot or Lowe's, none of this shit would have happened. The Ents do not join with the humans. All of those troops who retreated after Gandalf stormed the day on the third hour. What was he saying? At sunbreak

on the third day or whatever. All those escaping Uruk-hai and orcs would have rejoined the forces of Sauron and there would have been more to deal with later on. Maybe that whole battle at the Black Gate doesn't go so well.

It all goes back to there in this made-up fantasy world that we're far too invested in. There's no... I resent that. We're all... You're not involved in this, Woody. We know you're not invested.

But yeah, the Ents were like... Man like man seeing the ends was like the coolest thing in those movies for the first time and seeing them fight and all that like even that i felt like was better cgi than what we got boring as fuck you didn't notice the they talk slow they move slow and i know they did in the book but like i try to re-watch the parts with Ents in it, and oh my god, I cannot stay awake. Oh, I love it. I love watching. Because it's good. You're not just watching them talk slow.

Old Ent-ish. Old Ent-ish. And that way they, I've been to the tomb there. I always liked walking south. late in the I always liked walking south. Somehow feels like going down.

And you know, I like doing his voice like the same the same way that like when a mouse character is talking really quick and really jibber jabber because they're little and that time almost goes faster because they're it does go faster for small. But for an ant, a tree person,

they've been around for tens of thousands of years, potentially. And so if someone runs up to him in the forest and is like, oh, we got to do this, they're like, don't be nasty, no. Yeah, like, no, we'll discuss it. And so he has to go have the Ent moot where he yells and then Quick Beam comes over and the rest

and he, and he, uh, Oh my friends! I like, I love that part where he starts it's almost like he's summoning each like kind of tree. Birch and oak and willow rise. We walk in the last march

of the Ents, perhaps to a doom. And they're just walking down that burnt-ass hill, and you see him pick up the rock. I was like, how do Ents fight? And then he picked up that goddamn rock that looked like if you threw it at a brick house, it'd just go right the fuck through. I was like, oh,

shit. And then, like, 30 of them step out of the woods. That was a great scene. I love those movies. Yep, that was, oh, such a cool movie. I love those movies. Yep, that was such a cool movie. I think we should talk about it all next week. We need our specific show where it's just

an hour every week about Tolkien and all things Tolkien. I read the books. I like the movies. I don't know why I'm... I don't know. I enjoyed it and I'm kind of done with it. I like bathing myself in that fantasy world. If you do it enough, then you can almost feel

a part of it. That's why I do it. Because if you get into it enough, there's a little bit of you that feels like it's part of it and a little bit of it that feels like it's part of you. And you get to have that little moment of like, yeah, I'm part of it and it's part of it, and a little bit of it that feels like it's part of you. And you get to have that little moment of like, yeah, I'm part of it, and it's part of me, and this whole fantasy thing. It's a really cathartic experience, like getting into those fantasies.

I spent so much time thinking about Lord of the Rings when I was younger, because I played Lord of the Rings trading cards. I went to Indianapolis for Gen Con 2006. I think it was 2006. For what? Meet any of the actors? No actors or any memorabilia anything like that like next that's next level like fandom you know fan is short for fanatic we throw the word fan left and right but that's what real fanatics do you know they oh i gotta meet frodo for real you know his name's elijah ring bearer that way i don't i don't care about any of the actors in it,

but, yeah, I just spent so much... Because I would be making decks, like you're making magic decks right now, and so I'd be like, oh, I'm gonna use a dwarf fellowship, and I'm gonna use, you know, Uruk-hai shadow, or obviously this makes as much sense to you as magic talk does to Woody, but... So I'm really hitting nobody right now.

How dare you? Yes! How dare you? But I just spent so much time thinking about it that like it became like a happy place almost of like even just thinking about the lord of the rings universe is like this like it harkens back to like a simpler time where it was just your only worry was you know how to play lord of the rings with your friends like the card game or how to you know play a video game or it's just there you didn't really I don't know break out my Do tremendously move green white deck and stomp all your asses

Yep That's either they make that Lord of the Rings trading card games still and there's an online version They don't make it still uh they stopped making the cards in like 2010 i love that you know that yeah october of 2010 i'll just say it i was still i played it with my a couple friends quite a bit and then decipher the company that made the cards went under and i don't know why they went under, because they did that and Star Trek cards and a couple other things that I guess eventually didn't pan out. And I remember being upset, being like, God damn it.

Like, it was, I think it was like 2006, maybe, like around that time where they announced that it would be the last set, or maybe 2008, I don't know. But that's when I went whole hog into Magic, because I was like, if I can't get new cards with this, it's not worth it. I'm just going to play magic more. Cause I'd played magic for a couple of years at that point.

I just, it was always a second to Lord of the Rings cards. But yeah, I'm, I'm way nerdier than I thought I was at the time. Kyle, did you want to talk about Trump? At this time?

I was going to say, apparently, apparently they still have championships. They had championships for this thing up until 2010 for the Lord of the Rings trading game. I guess that, so the thing with Trump that's interesting, and of course they're still focusing on tweets rather than like Russian connections, which seems to be the substantive thing that really needs to be looked at that matters not so much. I don't think it matters too much about him tweeting the wiretapping thing. What I feel like we're seeing is the media and everybody else kind of

playing dumb as to what they think those tweets really mean. We all know that he just tweeted that shit because he got a hair up his ass and he saw some shit on Breitbart and or Fox News as he claims. That's all it was. It wasn't

3D chess. It wasn't him getting any information from the CIA, the FBI, any sort of inner channels. It wasn't him hearing something from the first time from a Secret Service guy who was like, I heard a thing that happened back when Obama was here, and they were watching you. None of that happened. News of Breitbart, he put out these four tweets where he used the word wiretapping in quotations twice, but in two of the other tweets he did not put them in quotations, and he literally says, Obama tapped my phones. So now, on Tucker Carlson last night, he's coming out and saying, hey, hey, hey, everybody's misunderstanding. Just like before when I was using, what word was it that he was using broadly, but he backed his way out of the situation like a week or two ago by invoking some colorful language defense or something like that. But basically what he's saying is that wiretapping was in quotes,

and what it means is surveillance in general, that there was some surveillance being put on him in general. And he's just twisting and turning trying to get his way out of it with tucker carlson and he threw out this little thing of like uh i think we'll be coming out with some stuff that maybe you haven't seen yet that hasn't been out there yet in the coming weeks well then today you've got the uh the uh house inquiry or something the gang of eight over there uh you know the highest ranking members of the senate uh committee over there saying like nope you got republic Republicans and Democrats saying,

nope, we got no evidence of any of that. And then you got that Nunez guy who's a senator or something, whatever his role in all this is, he's saying, he had, like, a lot to say about it in his statement, but Sean Spicer takes the last little bit of it,

like, excises it like a fucking only a guy, Only he can do. Like only Dr. Ben Carson could do. Yeah. And completely misquotes the guy. Because what the guy said was... What the Nunez guy had said, and I don't remember well enough to quote him exactly,

but he said something like, no, there's no evidence that this happened. There's no evidence that this was done, that that was done, that he was surveilled, that he was watched, that he was wiretapped, that he was bugged, none of that. And a person says, is it possible that while investigating some sort of a Russian tie or some other thing, that some Trump surveillance or some Trump calls or data were routinely scooped up and intercepted and brought in is that possible and he says yes that is possible we'll look into it but it's like this afterthought of basically them saying hey is there like a one in a trillion shot that like through your routine like or or you know like hey what if we call someone you did monitor? Well, would then you monitor us on that call? And he's like, yeah, I guess that's possible.

And so Spicer throws that out there. He's like, well, you saw Nunez today. He said it was very possible, and they were looking into it. That's his take on that statement that I just described, which was anything but that. It was all of the other stuff. It was him constantly saying, didn't happen, no evidence it happens. We don't know what he's talking about.

This is silly. And then at the end, they got him to kind of say like, hey, nothing's impossible, basically, is what he said. And then Sean Spicer takes that and goes, hey, he said it was very possible this happened. And he'll look into it. The other thing I keep seeing is they're defending Trump by saying, you know, you can't take it literally. He didn't mean that obama actually physically went over there and did the wiretap himself right and that means like well this whole thing is just some sort of figurative whatever no no you accused obama of a felony and we know when you say obama tapped my

phone that you meant obama had my phone tapped but suddenly, by saying Obama didn't don a clipboard and a hard hat and do it on his own, that you didn't really mean Obama or whatever. I hadn't seen him take that angle. That's interesting. Yeah, I watched a montage put together of all the people saying he didn't physically do it himself as some way of wiggling out of this thing. That's mudding the waters is what that is. That's complete.

When they do that, that's like them going, all that stuff you said. Because then you're left with like, that ain't even what I meant. That's not even what we're talking about right now. You're trying to fucking twit me, and anybody else who's listening might attune me during the three seconds when I had a brain freeze

thinking about how stupid what you just said is. Spicy is on a roll, though. He's funny. I love Spicy. He's my favorite. He's one of my favorite characters in this show. Oh, yeah. Spicy is the best character in the Trump show right now.

Kellyanne is good. You know, she's fun. I find her unlikable sometimes. Ah, she's just – she's playing the hand she's dealt, right? I bet if she was prettier and had a strong jaw you'd be maybe you're right i just find her to be too much of a liar you know like she goes on there and her whole thing is dodging lie and at first i was like man she's magnificent at dodging and lying now it's like oh you know how we could all say something that trump

would say you know like yeah, I'm going to raise the military. I'm going to be great at the military bigly. You're sad, right? Like we could all pretend we're kind of Trumpy. Now we can all pretend we're Kellyanne. Like we've all done her thing. You know, you say, you know, it's important that, you know, we protect the integrity of

the office. And I say like, oh, you want to talk about the office. The office needs to do this and that. And they respect the office and i say like oh you want to talk about the office the office needs to do this and that and they respect the office about the office of the presidency we saw barack obama drag it through the mud for nearly the last decade or more look look at look at and then start and then start listing things right then then go bullet point mode like deficit military the the the um what's the thing that veterans affairs like you know you just grab any word from the previous sentence transition that into your point

and you've got kellyanne conway's shtick every single time so i'm she's actually kind of worn out of that i i feel like it's a simple trick that we're done falling for i don't think it's simple at all she is under so much goddamn it's one thing for us to sit here and think of like silly little responses and back our way out of this shit man when there's guys when there's cameras everywhere and lights she won him the campaign she she is okay i agree with that so good she got trump elected i feel like if she was still good at this she wouldn't be saying shit like microwaves can be redesigned to take pictures from the CIA, right?

And now everyone's mocking her. I thought that was good. No, no. To me, that is late night fodder. Stephen Colbert is coming out with TV shows or skits on the microwave taking pictures. Well, he shouldn't because it's a real thing. I don't think it is a real thing.

He did a skit on the Mado thing. And we saw that Wikileaks thing the other day about how many of our devices can be turned around. Every Samsung TV, is it Samsung or Superb? I don't think the microwave is one of them. The microwave just, like, there's no interface to get data out of it. Well, I think this is a case of when she,

we shouldn't take her literally as a microwave you know I think she's saying any appliance there are so many she's saying that like surveillance is everything now surveillance is your television and your laptop and like for me like my virtual reality system has like

three different hackable webcams on it you know there's I've got webcams in front of me or whatever, but my microwave there's no world in which that dumb device ever gathers data. My thermostat. I've got a smart thermostat. There's lots of ways that you could be surveilled. I think my thermostat

may even have voice input. I bet you could turn that thing on and just listen. I can't imagine someone getting any valuable information from me when I'm standing by my microwave. Oh, that's where Trump plays. Oh, yeah. Taylor always burns his popcorn. That's a stolen joke.

God damn it. I'm Amy Schumer. You weigh about the same. Oh. Yes, and you're taller, so that is an insult to her. Let me say this before I say this about Amy Schumer being fat I find her attractive I think she is attractive especially like yeah

get off me look I find her attractive in her own right especially because she's so god damn funny like it doesn't matter if she stole jokes she's a fucking professional comedian she's funnier than any girl we've ever met and she has her there's a skinny version of her that's very attractive I think I thought the version of her that's very attractive i think

i thought the version of her in the movie was pretty fucking attractive um i i was into it and i like her like i like the potty mouth thing and i like how sure of herself she seems to be at least um i like all of those things about her but man she really porked up for that special and then put on a leather top that i can see her belly button through like i can see the indentation of your belly button because there's so much fat protruding around it like like i'm not gonna i don't believe that adder that outfit was full unflattering either i mean it was a solid color and it's and it worked kind of like a corset to compress her it had an uphill fight for that special. It did. Undoubtedly. And that outfit was doing its best. Perfect.

Well phrased. Because I think if she was in something a girl might wear golfing, like shorts and a shirt of some sort, she looks quite big. But that outfit was just, look, that's the sexiest she can look that day. It's the sexiest she can look when she fucking eats like that. Hot dogs are dressed in pork intestines sometimes. But when that's your only option, you go with it, right? You need something that works for that rancid, rotten pig meat. And that is kind of what happens.

I like hot dogs. I do too. I like hot dogs as well. But I'm just saying that Amy Schumer is full of rancid, rotten pig meat. Yes, there's clearly the difference. No, I'm saying to put a hot dog... He's saying he didn't like Emma Watson as much now that he's seen her titties. He's like, I thought she was something special, but now I see her titties.

She's just another person. Like, from that to you calling Amy Schumer like a hot dog because she's just a big pile of rotten pig flesh wrapped in a tight wrapper. It's like a giant at the top of a beanstalk grabbed her and put her through one of those presses and put it into like a gothic sausage sleeve. And it came out in a leather outfit.

She came out and gave a bad comedy special. Like I have no opinion about her at all if it weren't for the fact, like for one, I listened to old interviews of her on Opie and Anthony before she got real famous and she was genuinely funny she was she she wasn't playing this i don't know the amy schumer character you know a woe is me victim but also super edgy and strong and powerful like she just wasn't doing that i don't like what she's doing now because her stand-up's

not funny in my opinion to be frank most stand-up sucks so it's not like 50 good 50 bad like i'd say 85 90 of stand-up is fucking terrible yeah like it's 10 it's good 90 is terrible and she just happens 90 specials are terrible like she just is not my cup of tea like i don't know i got nothing against her personally as far as i know i would say that like 99 of comedy that we see that's made it on the fucking tv is just about terrible um so like if we're just talking about stand-up and we're including every fucking comic that's in any club anywhere anywhere telling a joke like 99.9 of that shit sucks i've been to a couple comedy clubs and like there's one funny guy tonight, huh?

Yeah, he really made me laugh. What about that other guy? Well, he probably won't kill himself. Even great comedians are hit or miss. Like George Carlin's specials. There is at least one doozy in there that is not funny and totally gets by on George Carlin being George Carlin. Same thing with sam kinnison uh the fact that he died young if you go back and watch his stand-up that like joe rogan and

a couple comics rave about uh it's really shit he just yells at you and tries to get you to laugh with his fucking voice and it's not funny it's like it's i don't like george carlin as much as most people do i george carlin man like his whole stick is, I'm the only smart guy here. And it's not my cup of tea. He's like, I ever noticed that it's your stuff and his shit, right? I call it stuff and you call it shit.

And it's like, dude, I don't know. It's not that funny to me. And then this whole notion, like the government's trying to keep you down and this and that, and he's the only guy who's discovered it. was like oh my god every show he has more good than bad overall definitely like he's it's george carlin i think he's got way more good shit than

bad i used to like it more than i do now if like those if you take his last i'm trying to think what special it was but there was one at least where he started off just listing everything so quickly and some up, some down, reach around, pull it down. You don't have to go through toe, like in a rhythmic thing. And he does it for so long that it's like you are masturbating on stage right now, wanting everyone to be in awe of how you memorized this over the course of the last few months. And now you're repeating it back. Like at this point, you're not being funny you're being masturbatory you know that you could go out there and not sell it say a joke because everybody knows you're george carlin they're going to give you the benefit of the doubt just like when zach galifianakis or someone with a

funny voice cadence delivers a line that's not genuinely that funny it's still funny because of by virtue of the fact that they're the one delivering it and they have the right timing and cadence but i just don't like his that special where he talks real quick and it's all about you know well the government does this and that and i'm so in tuned with it i don't know it's annoying because his other specials are genuinely funny yes that that expresses my thoughts well i think i'm in tune with it i'm the only guy here is with the brain in their shoulders and i don't. I just don't like it. And like, even like Louis CK,

Bill Burr, they've had specials that I haven't liked very much. And they're what I would consider like, you know, I'm not impressed with the comeback guys. Like, um, who's the guy who's considered the best at it?

Like Mulhaney or something. Mulaney. Mulaney. Good looking guy. John Mulaney. Yeah. He does have guy. He is great. John Mulaney. Yeah, he does have some great specials. But like, for example, I remember some guy in the audience was saying something. She were stole his joke.

Did she? And he's like, yeah, your mom was saying the same thing. Or at least I think she was. There's something in her mouth. I couldn't hear what she was saying. That stuff to me, it seems like such obvious low hanging fruit fruit and they act like he's a genius for it no dude his genius is the is being the one on stage with a mic and everyone's on his team and that comes like without trying i i melanie you mean john melanie white guy dark hair yeah that

high-waisted man you got feminine hips hips like that. Yeah, that guy. Might be him. I think he is. Tells real dirty jokes, too. I probably laughed just as much during his specials as I did during any Bill Burr special. Like, for the most part. Like, they're really up there. Are you thinking of Anthony Jeselnik, maybe?

I don't think so. Is Jeselnik the one that has the joke about the escalator and how it can never break? It can only become stairs? No, that's Mitch Hedberg. Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got that really interesting delivery. No, you're thinking of the other guy

who does those kind of jokes. Stephen Wright. Stephen Wright, yep. Stephen Wright's the one with the deep voice with the misdirection jokes. I like those. Oh, I think those are funny jokes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A lot of them are really dark, like dead babies and stuff. I don't know. I've been in, like, pretty much, on the WoodyCraft Minecraft server, I would go back and forth with the players because, you know, it was just like a way of loving up the players.

And all my jokes were the funniest thing in the world. When in reality, like all I had to say is your mom liked it or something and the crowds on my side. And I feel like that's what a lot of these comeback comedians do. They're not saying clever things. They think they're professional verbal swordsmen and it's bullshit. They just have the advantage in the first place.

Sometimes. Yeah, I can see what you're saying with some of them. Kyle, you had something you wanted to say. I have one more advertisement here. It's a brand new one. It's a brand new one to us here. It's very important. It's last but certainly not least.

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And watch season. And the rest. Oh, we were talking about the Trump stuff. Did you see the budget come out? Okay, yeah, yeah. I saw the budget came out. Did you see the budget come out? Okay, yeah, yeah. I saw the budget came out. Did you read the thing I linked? I don't know if maybe you weren't interested.

I didn't read the thing. So I just read what a lot of people have said about the budget. I did read what you said about it. I think you said that you liked a lot of it, which would surprise me a bit. You liked the cuts, I think. Parts of it, not all the cuts. a lot of it which would surprise me a bit you'd like the cuts i think parts of it not all the cuts parts of it okay um and uh but you think that that 54 billion or whatever it is 50 to 60 billion roughly on the military spending is completely wasteful

and i think it probably is too what i hear coming out of their side whenever they get they got questioned today during the press uh interview with spicer um whenever asked about you know hey will you cut this much money out of that doesn't that directly lead to worse care here or doesn't that mean this this and that and and he he was like whoa whoa stop it first of all this has already been answered he always does that now if you watch spicer and keep this in mind from now on when he first starts answering your question he'll let you know that this has already been covered at least two or three times

to make you feel stupid right off the bat and let everybody else know that he thinks you're stupid for even asking this question again. He does it almost every single time he answers a question. He's like, well, this was all covered earlier today during this, this, and that, and during the Senate hearings, and this was already covered, but...

And basically what he said was there was a lot of waste and a lot of, you know, two things that are being money's being spent on two things when they could be done in the same facility. A lot of ways to use the amount of money that they have currently to get more out of it. That's how I feel about the military.

That's exactly where I was going with this was like, they don't have the same viewpoint when it comes to the military. They look at arts funding, or they look at educational funding, or they look at some sort of government spending they don't care for, and they're like, whoa, I bet we could trim a whole bunch of fat out of that fucking pie over there. They never think, but when they look at the military,

they're like, oh, you guys need more money. Don't you? Don't you? More tanks? When it comes to the military, they're suddenly like, oh, these private contractors aren't probably fucking us. They're probably not taking huge advantage of these government contracts. They're fine. Keep it going with Halliburton. Keep it going with Boeing. It's fine.

We saw Trump, at the very least, we saw Trump making public note of that he thought the Air Force One thing and the Stealth Fighter project were both needless spending, and those are private organizations. So whether the proof is in the pudding, whether he takes the next step and actually makes something happen of that, that'll never happen. But at least it was a concern of his i agree i'm glad you put it that way because there are some people who are like oh my god trump is the greatest he because trump made false claims like yeah all i did is tweet and save 600 billion dollars on the f-35 and all i did is tweet and i canceled air force one and uh those things actually nothing changed no there's there's been no change in our contracts

they seem to be talking a big game like change is coming but they lie so often they don't believe anything they fucking say now I don't believe anything at all and that goes left and right when I see John McCain over there really eating it up and he's calling what's his name a Russian agent

in the senate floor and stuff like that I see so much opportunity no he called fucking name, a Russian agent in the Senate floor and stuff like that. Like, I see so much opportunity. No, he called fucking Rand Paul a Russian. Yes. Right? Did you see Rand Paul's comeback on that? No. It was pretty funny.

So they interviewed Rand Paul, and they're like, hey, and they played it out. And they're like, this guy's, every single person apparently was for putting, it macedonia in nato something like that and it was no um unless we got a time machine out of the deal we're not including macedonia yeah okay i'm a little older than you guys so the uh um anyway it was some small country that i didn't really know very well and they wanted to put them in NATO. Was it? No, that's old, too. Stop it.

You're messing with me. That was really sneaky. Oh, that was – I needed your back, Tommy. You weren't there. He got me for a second. Anyway, they asked Rand Paul what he thought of this, and he's like, you know what?

I think John McCain makes a really good point, or a really strong argument for term limits. You know, this guy has lasted way long. He losing his head etc etc you can see the glasses go and like the the deal with it and like the air horn yeah right uh yeah that's exactly it was pretty funny but funny. But yeah, I have less trust since Trump came into office than Obama. I'm not saying Obama never said anything that wasn't true. Or sometimes he said things that weren't true, but he hoped they were at the time. He didn't get in the face of bald facts.

He didn't get in the face of what we see before our eyes. He didn't look at the American public and say, hey, you're too stupid to even see the truth let me tell you about it because maybe you'll hear it maybe you'll understand it when you hear it because you certainly can't see the truth before you like when whether it's marijuana or climate change whether it's fucking uh crowd sizes or three million fake votes you know that three million fake votes remember they were going to do an investigation into that? That's not going anywhere. All of this stuff. Very frustrating stuff.

The worst part about it is these piles of shit that he is stepping in weren't in the White House. He had to go out and look for some shit to step in. He's out looking for shit to step in, figuratively speaking, because all of this is of his own making.

And all I can think is, like, is he doing some of this to take some attention away from the Russian stuff? If he is, it certainly isn't slowing down the myriad of investigations into the Russian stuff. It won't stop the end result. So all I can come to, the only conclusion

I can come to is, yeah, he really is a madman. He really is a madman. He really is a little bit different than the three of us here. Any one of us would be a more competent leader for this country. We just would be because I'll tell you what my mindset would be going to the presidency. If for some reason that befell me, I would never want such a job. It would be like I have to surround myself with smart people because I don't have what it takes. I need to find the people who do have what it takes to do this, and they have to inform me. And I need more people to watch my back to make sure that the people informing me are not fucking me and the American people because my job is so big.

There's so much magnitude, and it's so long-lasting. It's not about the next four years. It's about the next 400 years potentially if he fucks up and steps in a big enough pile of shit. And he just doesn't seem to take it that seriously, which I didn't see coming. Yeah. The golfing thing bothers me. I know it's a small thing,

but like he seems to take a lot of vacation and, and he's our, he's the first part-time president of my life. And yeah, we'll see how that plays out and whether it's important. A man gets more done in five hours than most presidents. I hope so because he spends less time at it. He's getting stuff done while he golfs.

I'm sure he is. But I also feel like he's not the same as working. All those presidents who went out there were definitely getting work done. I'm saying that as far as golfing goes, when it was like Obama golfs for fifth weekend in a row or trump golfs for fifth weekend in a row or whatever like i they're not going out there playing a scramble with a couple of good buddies like they're they're out there with the japan prime minister or someone i would imagine like i would yeah sometimes yes and sometimes no. I think those are business meetings. And I bet it's... On the military budget, I was going to say,

like I was just reading, there was actually a video where they were talking recently about how we used a $3 million Patriot missile to take out a $200 drone. That was a US ally, $3.4 billion. What was the drone going to do? It was a surveillance drone. Yeah? It was a surveillance drone.

Yeah, it was a video drone. I probably got a better one downstairs. You do have a better one downstairs. We all do. That seems like a huge waste of, a misallotment of, a misappropriation of options. But I feel like if that happened in the private sector,

oh my God, like divisions would be shut down, heads would roll. Like this would be a huge thing. In the military, it's like, you know what? Sometimes you spend $3 million, Patriot missiles, cruise missiles, whatever. If I'm an enemy of America, I fucking put an ISIS flag next to some swing set. Call it a terrorist training center.

And, you know, maybe the – you know when they use the used tires and they make it a thing. Whatever. It shouldn't be surprising that the government is horrible with money top to bottom. But the military is especially horrible. They're bad at getting contracts. I bet there's a – I know there's a division of the government that looks for safety in banking. So they make sure that your bank like is the ratio of the money that they borrow that comes in is such that they can pay you back and and when you withdraw it it's

okay and they follow certain rules and my um my friend's brother i see i don't know if it was that specifically but my friend's brother did this job and uh and it ensured fair banking and none of us worry about our banks and i bet that division while bloated isn't stupidly insane and the military on the other hand i feel like you know sometimes people just fucking spend millions or billions with a b on boondoggle stuff and yeah and like that's i don't i don't like the whole call that i'm sorry sorry, is unpatriotic. To suggest that these people don't operate with costs in mind. They're not the private sector, right? The military just spends.

And their culture is not such that like, oh, we have to bring in some money to pay for this and become wildly profitable and lean and mean. No, their culture is, I just want more more more money these are the career politicians and career military people don't know what it's like to have a budget for real they know what it's like to force themselves to buy bullshit and be like oh we're at this public school or whatever we need to buy six thousand dollars in tissues or we're gonna funding. Who cares if we don't really need this money and we could just maintain just fine. The military is the same

way. I guess we need a couple more fighter jets, right? I mean, we got money's flowing in. We don't work for it. It's a step worse than that. It should be patriotic to say that you want government agencies spending taxpayer dollars efficiently

because it's kind of disrespectful to everybody paying taxes if it's like, yeah, just send that $3 million missile. Just buy a bunch of bullshit you don't need for this park or this school or whatever. That shouldn't be bad to say there's a bunch of fluff to cut. You're suggesting that it's negligence, right? You're suggesting that they're just bad at making budgets. They don't care because there's no fire to their feet. No, that's not true. It's the opposite. There is, though, and it's on the other end.

It's not the American taxpayer because they don't give a shit. At least they're not going to vote you out of office if you award some contract to a private corporation. But some missile company or some aeronautical company might just fund your next campaign. They might fund your friends' campaigns. They might find some weird way to finagle some funds to you and yours just in exchange for voting a certain way. And back home in your district, they're certainly not going to give you shit for voting for some up-armor tanks.

Because as soon as a Democrat says or a republican whoever says something like ah jim voted for this company and then that company funded the the campaigns of x y and z jim's going to say my opponent doesn't want our troops to have the equipment they need when when the chips were down and they came to me and said sir we need up armored suvs or humvees we're getting blown up left and right i i did i did what. I signed the piece of paper, and now you've got these guys. Yeah, it always turns out that way. It's on purpose. They're voting these ways.

They're being ways to defend the money. That's what I'm saying. But it's intentionally bad at budgeting because they're blowing out spending because they know there's not going to be a real repercussion. If someone owns a private business and they go to their shareholders hey i know we projected 14 growth this year uh actually we didn't grow at all we actually shrank by about 20 we moved less product than ever we got removed by a couple of stores took us out but you guys are down to like give me some more seed money to keep this going right like no they'd

be no fuck you i'm pulling out what I have. I'm going somewhere where the business is good and where my money is going to be respected and treated correctly the way it should be. The person who has your money and is making money with and using it in a business sense like that should be like, all right, I need to be paying a lot of attention to what these people, because they hold the cards. They should hold the cards at least.

It's just a bigger scale of the tax system of they go, fuck you. I don't care if this is a bad military contract because i'm going to get elected better so it's not that they're just it really is just bad intentionally bad budgeting knowing they're causing problems and not giving a fuck to add on to what taylor's saying a lot of americans like we kind of know like oh yeah our military budget is that of our next five or eight militaries combined right you know you take Russia, China, France, England, et cetera, add them up all together. I think Saudi Arabia is in there before you start matching the U.S. military budget. What they don't know is that our military is not

bigger than all of those. They say like, oh yeah, we're eight times bigger than the next one or whatever. No, no, no, no, no, no. We're not bigger than China. China is bigger than us in a lot of ways. We're not bigger than Russia. Russia is bigger than us in some ways. A lot of these things are bigger per dollar. Another thing you're saying there that leads right into this is the United States spends a lot more money per soldier post getting out of the military than countries like China or Russia. And so when you roll in the VA into military spending, that's a large percentage of it.

It is. It absolutely is. That's a big part of it. But getting back to the other militaries being bigger than ours, though, a lot of times it's like oh yeah turkey has like a thousand of these helicopters and we've only got 150 and it's like yeah but each of ours can kill a hundred of theirs because theirs can't see ours because ours fly at night at 10 000 feet theirs can't fly at night and ours can see ours can see at night but theirs can't even fly at night and it's it's always something like that where like our equipment is so much better than theirs that like it's kind of like they don't have any equipment they're just kind of shooting dumb artillery they might have the most artillery for example but but we got the most like uh because of the people we're

fighting sometimes so like it's just it needs to make sense you know if i don't know who our threat is that we're most concerned about you know maybe it's china and that's something we really need to be ready for or maybe it's isis and we don't need $3 million Patriot missiles to take out their drones. ISIS is nothing, but ISIS is absolutely nothing. I could take out that drone with a paramotor. The Nighthawk. And it'd be way cheaper. You could just suicide crash it in.

You said Peanuts killed 13 people last year. Did ISIS kill 13 Americans? I bet Peanuts killed more Americans last year than fucking ISIS. We blow that shit so out of proportion and I can only believe that it's some sort of form of government control over us to blow it out of proportion to such an extent. When I can think of 30 things

in my household that kill more people every year than ISIS does, at least in this country. I think you're right. Al-Qaeda was the same fucking big bad man that we needed to spend a few trillion dollars to defeat right I don't know who's afraid of these things like I

don't mean to be like macho or anything I'm not really afraid of Muslim terrorists like that's not a thing that you don't think about it every day if people were to predict how I die, how many of you would pick Muslim terrorist

and how many would pick paramotor acrobatics? Dude, paramotor acrobatics is way the fuck up there right now. It's like paramotor, car accident. Heart attack. And then heart attack is down here because you live a pretty healthy life and you're in good shape. I do my best.

Yeah. I just... The doctor regularly, all that stuff. You'd know the signs. I'm getting better. Yeah, you do sound better. They're definitely trending in the right direction. Alright, let me do these two little post rolls here, tell everybody one more time about

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Yeah, awesome show. Really enjoyed that. Hopefully, I really like doing the shows where it's just the three of us at least your first month. Yeah, awesome show. Really enjoyed that. Hopefully next... I really like doing the shows where it's just the three of us at least once a month. At least once a month or maybe once every five or six weeks. I like having one of these. But fingers crossed that maybe we get some world-famous guest next week.

Perhaps an SNL alumni or a famous talk show host or something like that. Fingers crossed. All right. PKA to 326.