Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #332

Episode Date: May 5, 2017

This week on PKA, Tucker aka IIJERiiCHOII is BACK! The guys talk about the COD:WWII trailer, enjoy some local news pranksters and go into depth talking about the recent YouTube "Adpocalypse"

Thank you already episode 332 with our guest with our guest Tucker Kyle. Yeah, several sponsors tonight Blue Apron, Nature Box, Bowling Branch, Pro Flowers, Dell.com. And yeah, that rounds them all. Oh, and Smart Mouth, of course, Smart Mouth, my favorite sponsor. Of course, our good friends at Smart Mouth. We don't have a favorite sponsor. We like them all the same. My equally loved.

They're like children. Yes. That's something I always suspect parents are lying about like I buy it when parents are like when they have like a couple of middling kids where it's like oh he does this and he does that and he does this and they're all in the middle I'm proud of all of them equally

but with its families we're like oh he's an engineer he graduated summa cum laude or whatever from you know MIT and that's Derek he's an engineer. He graduated summa cum laude or whatever from MIT and that's Derek. He's a crack addict on the weekends. He's a weekend warrior now. He used to be worse. Trust us. But we love him equally.

I never buy that. I think that that premise expands exponentially the more children you have. If you have two children, then saying you like one more than the other doesn't necessarily mean that much. You just say, well, he was my firstborn. You know, my grandma used to always say, you're my number one grandson. And I'm like, I'm your only grandson.

Oh, you got it on a technicality. Yeah, yeah. So if you got three kids, then all of a sudden maybe there's a little kid who was like four years younger than the main kid, and he maybe was an accident kid even. But if you're Mormon or something or Catholic in the early 1900s then you've got 15 kids like who fucking cares about little Tommy you have like a ranking

system basically speaking of which not like gay marriage is legal those number one dad mugs mean a lot more because you're putting them up against someone I just thought about that you can't both get number one dad up against someone. I just thought about that. Now there's a competition. You can't both get number one dad mugs. You know somebody's going to try and play it off

like that. Like, I got both of you the mug. Oh, imagine how disappointed the one gay dad must feel when he thinks he got it, and then his partner opens it up and gets the same thing. Like, you must be crushed. Like, oh, you really don't think something of either of us. You think we're a couple of, you know, queers. If you're really... I can just... i can just imagine this gay couple adopting one of those

kids like we always talk about who's almost finished and he's looking bright and he's gonna win he's gonna be a winner you adopt some 14 year old smart kid and he's like uh dad you're gonna have to switch mugs uh after last night i that, well, there's been the polls have changed. The BCS totals are in, and you've dropped to number two. Keep it up, and you won't be a dad at all. Yes, you've dropped by two rankings in the AP poll, top 25.

There's only two, so not a lot of spots to drop. I'm shopping new dads. Please tell me you've seen that. Are you doing well in the coaches poll? Yeah. No, that reminded me of there's this subreddit called

Indian People Facebook but it's like my friendship has been ended with Moodiseer and then it's like a whole image and comments about why he's ended the marriage or the friendship. You can see that with the dad. It's like, you're no longer number one, dad.

It's just two pictures of the guy that he ended his friendship with, X Stouting Green on MS Paint. And then he used 2004 word art, like that red to green Christmas fade down there. It's a white boy, 7th Street thumbnail. Right? With the rainbow in it.

Well, it did catch my eye right away. There it is. That's what it's for. If you were flipping through that guy who was that total prick who drove around California shooting people because he was jealous, if you flipped to that page in his manifesto, you wouldn't be blown away. You'd be like, yeah, well, fits right in. He probably had a lot of these images, image macros with friends and rankings.

I saw a Reddit best of the other day, and it was an Indian person explaining why Indian people Facebook exists and why Indian people are so awkward and stuff. How is it? And he basically explained that, like, Indian kids are really sheltered up until sometimes into the 30s like you're kind of like held down and kept in your place and you're kind of monitored about where you go and what you're exposed to sometimes up until the very point where you marry the person that your parents have picked for you and you also live in a bigger household where there's like aunts and uncles always watching over you and basically these guys don't know what the hell is going on as far as sex or

or like uh social skills or anything like that and suddenly they're turned loose on the internet and the world and and you get indian people facebook with these guys typing messages like your tits are big yes me squeeze a big part of it was the fact that they were like they beat the western people right and in their heads like we're all having sex everything is great uh you know girls are giving it up and they're like oh so all i have to do is like hit on this ridiculously easy american girl you know ask her to see her tits and she will and and they it doesn't it's it's more to that art yes it it's but it's got to be all right so i went on a cruise this uh this winter with some friends of mine and we we joined, like, it's like a festival on a cruise, a music festival.

So we joined, like, the Facebook group just to see, you know, people post, like, their tips for that cruise. And immediately my friend, who's a girl, gets hit up by three very, you know, very Indian people saying, like, I mean, like, there's no other way to explain it. So what did Ishtar have to say? On a scale of one to a poo. To a poo. It was pretty rough.

She was like, it was like, we meet on ship. Yes, we have fun together. And I was, it was like out of the blue. She's like, what the fuck? Do people think this works? Or if it does work, like with whom? Like, who's like like who's like oh hell yeah like this is what i've been waiting for what do you remember the guy's name was it true of us it was it was like i said it was a very indian name so like a lot of consonants there was a lot it was this long at least i'm well

schooled in the indian culture and i swear given three guesses I could pick his first name. That would cover like two thirds of the population. I love like all the like Woody's little like niche. Anytime anything about India comes up like Woody has his niche expertise of like you may think you understand the Indian people. I worked side by side with a standard Indian man.

Oh you're right. I forgot what you were doing. And to his credit you do have way more experience. Oh my god so much. I forgot what you were doing. To his credit, you do have way more experience. Oh, my God. So much. I swear, dude, like over time, I got – you'd think that understanding the Indian accent fluently is a skill that everybody has, but it's not. Yeah. We'll wait until you get some like late 90s IP phone that cuts in and out.

Your brother here can hear some Indian accent. I am completely fluent. I got it going on. That's so good. You were like calling out dialects like, oh, Pajit, are you from New Delhi? The New Delhi, I knew it. I knew it in Northern area, right? Exactly.

You're hitting those vowels a little hard. And then the thing like – You are the chosen race. I'm trying to think. How do they shake their head yes in India? It's – they not do it the same way no no yeah it's not straight up like this like there's all kinds of shit going on in there you know yeah it's yeah yeah it might be that but but dude like so it's funny you go to them to the cafeteria right and they're like you know do you want onions with that do you want onions with that? Do you want onions with that?

And they're all like fucking jittering around and stuff. And the guy in the grill is like, I don't know what the fuck. Is that a yes or a no? Because you've got a lot going on there. I mean, to their credit, though, it is silly that we've limited ourselves to the yes and no. When there are a lot more head movements

that we could be doing. You think we need to work a maybe in there? Yeah, yeah. That's a lot of shoulder action. And then, of course, there's Yeah. The radio listeners are loving this part. The hell no and the hell yes.

Kyle just gave an exaggerated nod vertically followed by one horizontally. Before the show started, we were trying to figure we're gonna talk about and I mentioned that I've been watching one punch man I heard Bill Burr talking about how he had watched one punch man he liked it and then his

Twitter followers gave him some shit because it's it's Japanese anime but I heard him talk about it say it was good and he described the basic premise of it so I watched the first I think it's 10 or 12 episodes the first season last night and i really fucking like it i really love the premise um so so here's the premise taylor um it's not necessarily earth though they call it earth but they live in this reality okay they live in this reality where there seem to be monsters popping up left and right.

Like every day there's a giant crab monster or a big sea king comes out of the ocean with the sea foe. Sea king. Yeah, I'm back. His name is Sea King. I just saw this in a Pixar movie, like Mulally or something. Lots of monsters. Mulally? I don't do names.

Mulally? All kinds of mutants and monsters and god kings. To combat this, there's a system of heroes, like this organization of heroes. They're all ranked. They all know their rank. They're all really anal about their rank

and really competitive about it. It's kind of boring. There's this one guy. I think his name is Saitama. He's about it and it's kind of boring but there's this one guy i think his name is say say i tomorrow or say to man i'm sorry yeah so so he's just a he's our main hero who's he's who we follow and everything and he is the strongest saitoman is the one punch man right is one punch thing that exists by an order of magnitude like it's not even fucking close. It never gets fucking close. And that's what the show is about. He lives in this perpetual state of boredom and depression

because he has trained his body and mind to the point where he can destroy anything with a single punch. And everybody else, and all the other superheroes and supervillains, you know, they'll have, like, finisher moves. They'll be like, lightning combo kick!

And they'll power up and do, like, cartwheels with fire coming out of their feet. He never does that shit. He just goes, regular strength punch. And people explode. They explode. And not just a little. Like, he fights a mosquito woman,

and she's just destroying this other high level hero. And he just goes multiple regular streaks like this. And she goes and paints the entire skyscraper with blood. So real quick, a question. So he's a superhero or is this character like super jacked and he just. No, he looks completely run of the mill. He looks on Doug um um on doug remember doug the cartoon without the hair he's completely bald and and finally halfway through

the first season these other characters who are superheroes themselves and these super villains they're all in this big four-way face-off with really high-level characters and a boss and his uh his disciple like hurt and injured and he's like all right i'll tell you the secret of my power and everybody falls silent you know the giant bad guy the boss character his disciple everybody they're like let's fucking hear it bro i dedicated myself to a very very difficult regimen every day 100 push-ups 100 sit-ups 100 squats and a 10k run and no matter what I did it every day I'd wake up at 6 in the morning, and I do it every single day and after three years I trained so hard that my hair fell out. And this is what I am.

And they're all like, what the fuck? That's not even that hard. It's like a genetically engineered super being with muscles with horns on them. And muscles on them. And his face isn't even shaped with antlers on it and shit. And he's just like, you trained hard? He's bullshit. There's no way my instincts are reading right.

Because he didn't attack him because his instincts were telling him, don't attack him or you'll be destroyed. He, like, comes at him full force. And, of course, he just turns around and goes, boom. And the guy explodes. And that's the whole show. Every time, like, some awful thing will happen, the only thing that keeps him from just snapping it out of existence is like one episode he gets lost. It takes him a real long time to get there. But when they ask him like

why do you do this? What motivates? He's like I'm a hero because it seemed like a fun thing to do. He's like I'm the guy who's a hero for fun. This is a pretty interesting premise. I like this. I also like the whole trolling aspect of people wanting to know his power and then it ends up that it's just him being you know pretty pretty strict

He has cheat days. We all do Like that I'm gonna have to so this is on Netflix on it's it's on Netflix. It's on like everything I mean though. This is the anime that whenever somebody's like I don't watch anime I'm like no you do you just don't watch the right one. Let me show you One Punch Man. It's like an anti-anime. It's making fun of the standard thing where everybody is fighting against some insurmountable thing, and then they level up, and then they're like, oh, I can do anything, and then they accomplish their dreams.

He starts at square one million, and it like his matter of factly like very mundane Just like he's driven by this desire to be known because he defeats this like the craziest thing Anybody's ever this thing destroyed an entire city with one footstep and he beat it and everybody's like oh They gave the credit to a guy who's riding a bicycle with no powers and he got the shit beat out of him And so he's like I want to be famous So he joins and it's just like nobody out of him and so he's like i want to be famous so he joins and it's just like nobody recognizes him because they think it's too stupid they're like you cheat there's no way they don't believe that he is the most powerful superhero they just think

they think that he's a fraud that he keeps like sliding in at the last second when other heroes have like diminished the guy like poaching yeah they think exactly and stealing kills but in reality he's just getting there a little late and like one time he stopped a meteor there's like a meteor coming to earth and he just jumps and punches it um in the season finale he's like fighting an intergalactic like god who like like they just he's just like i've traveled for 20 years across impossible distances to fight a being who could come close to my strength. And it's just – it's really fun to watch. I bet I know how that encounter –

One punch, I'm guessing. The god character like super scions and evolves like five times in that fight. And the whole time our hero is just kind of standing there looking at him befuddled and like and like getting thrown everywhere like like at one point he hits our hero so hard that he hits the moon he's on the moon in a crater and he looks at a little moon rock he's holding his nose like this and he goes and like does a giant jumping leap and flies back to earth to like you know go fight the guy some more and when he finally kills this guy, it takes more than one punch.

He goes, he says, alright, I guess I'll use my finisher move. Full force punch. And for the first time in the whole season, he hits as hard as he can. And they have to zoom out to the moon again so you can see

the fucking impact. Because the entire cloud cover of the globe parts and keeps parting from like the blast field that went forward. From 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats, and a 10K every morning. And, and, and no, and when it's really hot, he doesn't turn on the AC unit. That's mental fortitude. That's mental toughness right there.

Because they showed a montage of him lying in bed sweating and shivering. Like that was really making him into the most powerful being in existence. So what is the hardest part of his routine according to us? Would you struggle most with the squats, the 10K? It's K, not the sales. It'd be the squats, man. The push-ups. 10K, and it's not even close.

That would be the hardest. 10K. Yeah. Do all those other things. If I try to run a 10K, I probably am not going to complete it. I cannot complete 100 push-ups right now. I could probably do 15. You don't have to run that.

You could take break. I could run the 10K no problem. Yeah, 10K is about 6 miles. 6.5 miles. That's a tough run for me. That's a lot. As far as which one would leave me most devastated the next day, I don't think it'd be the 10K.

I think it'd be the push-ups. It'd probably be the squats. You think it'd be the push-ups. It'd probably be the squats. You think it'd be the squats? Yeah, I think it'd probably be the squats. Because I'm already on this workout kick anyway with the kettlebells and stuff, and I'm on my protein powder and my creatine and going full force right now,

I was like, and I'm watching One Punch Man, I'm like, should I just do One Punch Man workout? Because that's kind of novel. I kind of like saying i'm doing the one punch man workout and just having that be it that is pretty let's talk about the fitness every day yeah like you couldn't do the one punch man workout every day oh like that's what he said and it kind of makes sense almost you curse i'm not saying you couldn't i'm

saying that would be fucking hard it's you couldn't there. You couldn't start there and do it. I think you can do it. Because it's a matter of doing it consecutively is just fucking impossible. And running the 10K without stopping, I can't do that either. But if the goal is to grind out the sum of those things that I just said,

I can do that. It's just going to be excruciating. So how's everyone's exercises going? I can go first if you want. Yeah, let's hear it. Nothing special over here. So if you guys, probably most of you haven't seen PKN, but I decided that rather than kettlebells, the one that would have the change to my body that I really want is just lower body fat. I feel like, you know, if you chisel or whatever, like lower body fat is my body that I really want is just lower body fat. I feel like, you know, if you chisel or whatever, like lower body fat is the thing that I need most. I'm

typically strong enough to carry all the shit I aspire to, you know, that I just need lower body fat. So I decided to run. And, uh, um, I didn't like, I just came back from like 10 days of like paramotor summer camp. So i don't know if that counts towards exercise at all i'm still sore from it so it should be definitely it does that's so much work and like like all of this shit yeah and those running on your feet like pulling against stuff all day it's certainly some level of activity but today i broke the ceiling i ran and uh nice yeah It was nothing impressive. I didn't go very far.

I don't even know if I ran a whole mile. But I broke the seal. Halfway on the way out, my legs were burning. It was uphill. Not very uphill, but you know what? I never really noticed the hill so much in my golf cart, but when I started running it, suddenly there's a hill there.

I'm like a geologist's measuring device when i'm running where i'm like i'm going 0.001 degrees uphill i can tell because it's even worse like but to that feeling you were saying about starting the run uphill there's no worse feeling than getting like 30 yards into a run and being like, how long has it been? And then being like, oh no, it's been 40 seconds. Like this is going to be grueling. I think I ran for maybe like 12 minutes. I don't think it was a whole mile. No, one of those must be off because I know I didn't run that slow.

But maybe it was three quarters of a mile in 10 minutes or something like that. But I ran, broke the seal. There were no records broken, but whatever. I got out there and did a thing. Did you feel better afterwards? Yeah, I thought you did it. No, no, did not. Felt like a nap. Felt like a nap. That was really what I was targeting. That's, yeah. Oh, another thing, my sleep schedule has improved um so that's really kind of getting in shape and i'm not in shape but like you know sorted out i've been waking up early every day and getting to bed earlier and um so i'm hoping that i can keep running because i don't do well in the heat but it's like yeah if i can get up at like six or something and get my ass

out the door then it's not that hot yet so i know right tucker you're gaming right and that is it's the perfect way to fuck up a sleep schedule right and playing video games for a living no no no don't come at me with that i i get up at 8 30 every morning do you and i go to yes and i go to bed before midnight if i can with sometimes yeah i did not mean to attack you i'll'll talk about me. When I was playing video games for a living, my sleep schedule was so fucked up. Every so often, I'd just run the cycle and it would get good again. You're not alone. Yeah. You're on point with your sleep schedule now, Tucker, right? I've got that good routine. I have my poor gym membership. I haven't been in

a month, but like, I'm the exact opposite of what I assume all of you guys are. I only do cardio. I hate lifting weights. I hate doing anything like that. I'll go to the gym for 30 minutes and I'll run four miles or I'll run. That's a little aggressive. I'll run three miles usually. And then I'll like, maybe go do shoulder presses, but like but I'm a lanky dude. I like running. It's mindless. I put in earphones, and then I look down. I'm like, oh, time to get off. I don't know. I finished my run today, and I'm like, amongst people who work out, how many of them is their warm-up harder than my exercise? Oh, all of them. All of them. Everyone does it seriously. Let me talk about that, because uh like couple of weeks that when we went

to uh that that mma gym for jujitsu there's like a 15 minute workout yeah before anything starts and i just remember being like i didn't want to be like i'm trying to keep my mouth closed and breathe through my nose to so it doesn't look like it's killing me because everybody else is just warming up but we're doing like gorilla crawls and like crab animal shit right frog jumps and those bear crawls are so much harder than you think they are yeah there was a sign on our wall that said my warm-up is harder than your workout and and they took pride in it and now i'm the guy they're talking about you would break it like we would be fully sweaty and have to get water

after the after the the the warm-up and then it was time to start fucking doing what we're there for i'm like shit i'm fucking tired now i hear you you were like right at the end like all right and what time next week i haven't started yet i thought. I thought I paid for the 6 to 620 class, you know? Another thing I was thinking about doing is pulling some of the runs and adding something more fun. Like in my head, stick and puck comes to mind. Taylor is probably the other people don't know. Stick and puck is like, you know, before a basketball game,

people sort of shoot around, maybe work on drills or whatever. It's the ice hockey equivalent of that. So you can shoot can shoot you can do skate drills you can do whatever it is you feel like doing and um usually it's an hour long and that to me is actually really enjoyable whereas running is is completely dreadful yeah with like a stick and puck or or if you're playing basketball playing pickup or whatever by the end of it you're almost mad at yourself like oh damn i wish i had some more time to keep goofing around you know as opposed to that same amount of activity in a run is just grueling like i i respect people who can hop on the treadmill like that or just go outside and do what you do and just turn off duck or just be like all right

this is in and i'm running like i would so much rather lift weights than run. I think it's the opposite. I think you guys have it like, you know, running for me, like if I want to push myself, I can run a 545 or I could. I don't know now. I could run a 545 mile like two months ago if I was just going for a one-mile run and that's it. Like I'm gassed by the end of it. But like normally you're doing like a nice seven-minute mile pace you're just you're good for the nice seven minute mile but like i played

i played soccer that was like my only sport and i hated the weight lifting because i don't know like i'm a weak dude it's hard to stay under an eight minute mile for most human beings it's pretty hard i think i've run I ran a mile a couple months ago and I think it was 745, something like that, 740. What's that pace? That's like a 9 mile per hour pace. That's nothing to laugh at, right? Well, I didn't have any more left in me

though. There weren't going to be 9 more miles. It was a very small sample size. I'm not doing this for 6 miles. I'm doing it for like 3 or 4, but like the thing is, I'd go and I'd see people doing weightlifting. I felt like they did so much more for their body. Like they, like over the same amount of time that I was doing my cardio where I'd come off like gas, I can't wait, I can't weightlift, I can't do squats or anything. And these guys are in the gym for like an hour and a half, two hours getting all sorts of muscle groups when I'm really working on heart and maybe my lower body. And so like, I always felt like I was cheating myself out of that extra, you know, whether it's definition or just overall health, because I was more enjoying my running. The objective behind my running isn't so much to burn calories, although that's a nice side effect. A lot of it is in the hopes of like like this is fruity maybe

but like altering the brain chemistry getting myself to desire healthier foods getting one thing that happens when i'm more active is i'm like that makes i fucking worked hard today i'm not gonna throw that away by eating x y or z you know your metabolism is going to speed up because your body's gonna see that you're burning off excess calories every day and it's not going to try to hold on to them quite so. The times in my life when I'm the healthiest, I crave the healthier foods and that's where I'm trying to get. Because like you said, you get in that mentality of like if you had just not worked out that day and you're like, I don't want to make food. I'll just order a pizza. It's not like I did anything to undo.

Whereas if you work out and you're like, should I order a pizza? No, because then everything I just did was kind of for nothing. And I would feel like an idiot if I did all that work for nothing and then just sold it down the river. Sorry, Kyle. That's why I buy so many supplements. It's not necessarily because I think that they are helping all that much. It's once you've invested a couple hundred bucks in supplements. It's like, god damn, I already chugged down that chunky milkshake.

I guess I better crank out a few more squats while I'm here. You know what the investment is for me? Talking about it publicly. I don't want, in two months from now, to be talking publicly about my failures. So that's part of my motivation. That's what we've been doing, Tucker, as of one week, is that we told everybody as of one is the second week this is this is a one week thing but everybody out there who's

wanting to lose weight or get in shape is doing it and we're all doing it more and for the purpose of shaming so if we fall off the wagon and we go hey i had two actually i ate i ate a barrel of cheese it's the other night that was the mistake they'll go taylor, I had two, actually, I ate a barrel of Cheez-Its the other night. That was the mistake. They'll go, Taylor, you big fat idiot. You shouldn't have been doing that. And that'll help. You should have the equivalent of a Hail Mary, like a burpee. Like, give me 15 burpees and

you're forgiven. Those are exhausting. Let's go. This kind of thing does help people listening a lot, I think. I think. Because Bill Burr's podcast, when he talked about losing weight, just having somebody you can check in on once a week just to be like, oh, they're not screwing up.

I screwed up. I feel shitty. Or, oh, they screwed up and I didn't. I'm better than them. I knew it the whole time. The listeners get to decide the impact. Go ahead. Well, if they want some supplemental help in their workout game,

send in some pictures of you with your shirt off and we'll we'll make fun of you and mock you live on the air it's a service that kind of public shaming will really get your ass in gear that will get your ass but we need milo back on the show nothing until you internalize it and so you gotta you gotta go do a little self-shaming to supplement that external shame and i don't know if someone could think of a clever title having to do with shame and losing weight that wouldn't turn off everyone just from the title that would be great shame the fat away you ought to be ashamed you fat idiot no that one's not as good that's way too on the nose too direct direct, too direct. Taylor, what's your current workout program, Taylor?

So Woody's running. So I've been doing the kettlebell thing four times a week for an hour, an hour. Sometimes it takes me a little longer to get through it. And then I've been doing, like, lower body stuff because all of it has some lower body. Because the thing I like with these kettlebells is you're kind of getting a full body workout from all of it because you're moving around so much and obviously people i saw talking about it on our pka reddit be like oh you're not gonna get jacked from a kettlebell it's like well no no you're not but i'm i'm looking to lose some weight and get tone and it's a good way to get cardio from all from the the other internet novices i've

read while not having to run but But I'm fucking loving it. I'm not promising any fucking results. I hate those internet douchebags. I don't know what it's going to do, but I guarantee moving a lot of weight around a lot is going to make me better at moving weight around. I said this on PKM, but I'm addicted to this thought process.

The exercise equipment that is best for you is the one that you use, right? You know, like an exercise bike obviously only does legs and only does cardio. But if that's the one that you use because you like to say read while you exercise, then that's the best one for you. If Taylor would otherwise have an elliptical with cobwebs or kettlebells with sweat, that's the choice for him. Exactly. That makes total sense. Like I'm enjoying it because I mean, and obviously a lot of it is novel because I've never used these things to work

out before. And so all the movements are a little bit different and it's almost like you're learning new stuff. So in that vein, it's fun. But I mean, at the end of the day, you're right. Like whatever you're using works. And if at the end of an hour and 15 minutes, an hour, whatever, if I'm dripping sweat and I'm heaving in them, you know, hoeing or whatever. And you know, my arms are quivery from, you know,

muscle fatigue. It's like, all right, well I know I did something right because like nobody ever is like shaking as they leave the gym being like, God, I wish I'd gone a little harder. I really hope that like whatever,

12 months from now, Taylor lifts his shirt and he's like, I don't know. Kettlebells make me look like Zaf Efron you know let's see you good old Zaf Ekron did I say it wrong I know that it is it's not you liar

you always fuck with me I'm not buying it it's Zaf it's Zaf Efron he looks at me like I'm crazy no he's a philistine it's the credit of his kettlebell and i know you've been reading about it too kyle these workouts are supposed to burn more fat yeah just weight lifting which is and what i keep reading is it's good for it's like explosive energy and quick quick muscle fibers and stuff because there's a lot of cleaning and jerking

and snatching stuff around that's the thing there's lots of body movement involved another thing to keep in mind with these is if like if after every one of these workouts i was like oh my back like and just being like you know you know the difference between a good hurt in your back not like you know up here where you've been working muscles or something and that bad hurt where like you roll over in bed you're like oh fuck and like i don't know that's the thing to be on the lookout with these kettlebells because all the risks i've read online is like yeah people start swinging these fuckers around and they just tweak their arm out of socket or something i was swinging the 15 pounder around last night and i was like god damn this is a hell of a weapon like i only get one shot but man if you clobbered

somebody with this it'd be game over i started hitting my heavy bag with it for fun. It's a real fucking weapon. I ordered some more. So now I have like a 10, a 15, a 30, and maybe a 45. Because the 30 just wasn't enough for doing two-handed exercises. Yeah, it's not enough. I'm going to have to get a bigger one for that too. But I don't know. It's neat. I'm really enjoying it so far.

I like it. I got a 45 because it's the same weight as an Olympic-style 45-pound plate, obviously, coming in. I've got plenty of those. And we used to do a lot of workouts with 45-pound plates in high school, lots of overheads and tricep extensions and stuff with them. But I've only been working out for like 10 days. I haven't slipped into like overdrive mode where like i'm watching everything i eat and drink um but i i work out for like a like an hour total i downloaded some kind of a half hour uh kettlebell workout i've been doing that and then i get on the elliptical and i do that for like half an hour too i've been on the keto website so the reddit has a

subreddit called keto k-e-t-o i guess that's how you pronounce it and and you know ernie's on that by the way who ernie or ernie from sesame street from no from from twitch okay i actually don't know if you know who he's literally the most like vocal keto diet person i know what's his screen name ernie uh mr ernest lee oh yes yes that's how i know him um there you go so anyway yeah i i'm sure he knows 10 times what i do but i i just sort of i've been reading it and i now i drink water too much too much if there is such a thing um we've cut out some carbs like i used to have meals with a baked potato pretty frequently and uh and some rice and that shit's got to go.

Not the taters. The taters are precious. I particularly like baked potatoes. I fucking love a nice baked tater. I want to talk potatoes after this. Alright, well anyway. Don't get me started. I've lost strong opinions that people are not going to like.

I've been active and I've been backing off some of the carbs. I've been making these twice-baked potatoes, and they're incredible. I take a one-pound potato. I bake it. Then I take it out, and I got a really sharp paring knife that's curved on the end. It looks like Ramsey's knife from Game. It cuts balls off this thing.

It's nice and perfect. Anyway, it's good for cutting the top layer off the potato, and then I scoop all the insides out, and I mix it with bacon and cheese and sour cream and butter, and I mash it all up, and green onions, and then I stuff it all back in the potato and put so much cheese on top that I usually build a scaffolding of toothpicks

just to hold the cheese in place, and then I bake it for 20 more minutes. They're so fucking good. That sounds healthy. I don't know. So you really haven't pulled the trigger on going to the workout. I just ate one. But Kyle's not starting in the hole that, like, I'll start talking about me,

that I'm, like, Kyle looks thin. He looks thin in his face and such. Kyle's a dick. That's the core takeaway from this. I have to really do some bad eating to get above 185 or so. I think I'm about 182, 181 right now. You phrased it in a way that burned into my head, though. Kyle said this. He's like, I will do five terrible things. I'll make them up, like sleep schedule,

diet, lack of exercise, whatever. And he's like, if I reverse any one of those, then things get back where they belong. And I am on the other hand, I'm the inverse of that. If I'm not firing on all five cylinders, then things get out of hand.

And that's what I mean by going into overdrive with my workout. That's when I get all phases of hand yeah that's the hard and that's what i mean by like going into overdrive mode with my workout that's when i get all phases of life all tuned in to the same yeah everything's synced in we're all on the same bandwidth and it's workout and like eat clean and drink a lot of water and like are you are you waiting for the microwave to make your fucking chicken breast we'll do a crank out a few push-ups while you wait. Go into full-on mode. That's one thing I've always done when I am in full workout mode is I add push-ups to every time you wait in life.

Every time there's a waiting period in life, I add push-ups to that. If I'm waiting on the tap to get hot so I can brush my teeth, I can crank five out before it gets hot. Literally, at the microwave, I do so many push-ups in the kitchen waiting on the microwave or the oven or whatever to make my food and get it ready. Between Netflix episodes,

another good time to bust out and see how many push-ups or pull-ups you can do in the 20-second countdown to the next one. It's just like that. It just skips the opening to everything. I've been watching the west wing on netflix i i had never watched it as an adult and i really like it it's a good show oh did you mm-hmm i uh it's funny you know the very very ending scene right yes and they kind

of foreshadowed it twice i thought people were really clever for putting it together and now that I've seen it again, it's like, Oh my God, they like bang you in the head with it. There were a couple of things. They killed a lot of characters towards the end. I don't, it almost seemed like they were just putting periods on the end of their sentences. Like they didn't necessarily have to kill all those characters, but I enjoy the show. It was good. It held up nicely. Yeah, well, I mean, no holds were barred at that point.

New York had decided they were just going to wipe out Tony's crew, and Tony's crew had finally figured out where the main guy with the hair was. He gets his head rolled over by an expedition's tire at the end. Can't think of that guy's name. Is it John Saccarello or something?

John! No, it was uh the one whose last name used to be uh something silly and then they changed it at ellis island oh what was it he was always mad about it it wasn't saccarello anyway um but yeah fucking sopranos is so strong i i love that fucking show we were watching clips from it the other day um the end there i was i feel like they did miss out on some some opportunities because like remember in the last couple of episodes of the show tony's walking around with his fucking decked out m16 that uh his brother-in-law had a 10 yeah he's just always got it fucking like sticking it somewhere like what did he say it was an ar-10 is that what he

said i haven't looked at it in a long time his brother-in-law when he gave it to him said it was that's yeah if he's wrong i wouldn't know i'd be able to tell by looking at it in a long time. His brother-in-law, when he gave it to him, said it was. If he's wrong, I wouldn't know. I'd be able to tell by looking at it, but I don't recall. In any case, he's got a fucking machine gun. It's fully automatic, super illegal. Sleeps with that thing. He gets up from the table, he's got it.

He's walking to the next room. And I was really hoping there was going to be a fucking Scar scar face style like he's he blows the doors open and he's like you want to play rough okay and he just starts taking certainly he's a 1920s mafia guy yeah you see he's an 80s bad guy and he's fucking all get it get all coked up that would have been a good they should have done that even if it was just a dream sequence at the end like they should have had tony dream that let him fall asleep watching Scarface, and then he wakes up and there's a storm in his mansion, and let him have that dream and gun a bunch of people down.

That would be sick. They did wrong, in my opinion. I really didn't like what they did with his son, AJ. That character? Yeah. For people who don't know the show he just gets like weaker and weaker and more and more pansy until he literally like crawls up in the fetal position at like times of stress and it it just gets bad man like he i i wish he had evolved into being more gangster and he kind of

knew that he was going to take his father's place at some point but instead he like it he's not succeeding like his daughter doesn't go gangster but you know she becomes i think she's working her way towards being an attorney and she goes to an ivy league school and there's lots of good stuff happening for her aj just in no facet of life is he succeeding at all i wonder if they would have taken a different route where they had the actor looked the part. Because AJ doesn't look the part of an intimidating gangster. He's a short guy. He's not muscular.

He's kind of baby-faced. He doesn't look intimidating at all. And I don't think he can pull off like a Joe Pesci, I'm so fucking crazy, you better watch out anyway, kind of character. But the thing is, none of them look intimidating. And that was one of my problems with the Sopranos in general. Pauly Walnuts looks scary as fuck

with his wings in his hair. Okay, okay. Pauly's a little intimidating. People don't know Pauly. He's probably like 60 in the show. But you could tell he was a badass 35-year-old. You'll see him working out like really vain workouts. Like watching TV doing curls.

Yeah, he's in the mirror doing curls and stuff like he's not after general strength he's trying to keep his 25 year old arms even though he's 60 but um everybody else there are badasses in the show that could lose 300 pounds like you know there are people who are just wildly the whole They can lose a whole other bad guy. Yeah. Like, they're so fat. And it's just like, come on. It's the same thing as like Breaking Bad or Better Call Saul, I guess, where Bill Burr and that one enormous fat guy. Yeah, Huel.

I don't remember what his actor's name is. It doesn't fucking matter. But when I see any show where they're like, you know, Bill Burr walks in and it's like, oh, you don't want to make Huel Mang I don't remember what his actor's name is, it doesn't fucking matter but when I see any show where they're like Bill Burr walks in and it's like you don't want to make Huel Mangry, it could go bad for us or whatever the fuck he says that guy could die now and the person in the world

would be surprised, if Bill Burr showed back at the headquarters up and he was like Bill, where's Huel? He'd be like, he passed away on the way over here, I had to drop him off at a bus stop he wouldn't be like, I don't believe you that's bullshit, he'd be like, yeah,, Bill, where's Huel? He'd be like, he passed away on the way over here. I had to drop him off at a bus stop. And he wouldn't be like, I don't believe you. That's bullshit. He'd be like, yeah, well, you know, rest in peace. Like, I never like it when someone that

fat is like the enforcer on a show because it's like you are beyond the level of fat where it's like there could be a formerly really muscular guy under there. It's like, no, you're debilitatingly fat. You couldn't throw a punch if you needed to because your arms are just at this angle. And they would throw punches and it would be

these big wobbly type things and they're almost like belly bop fighting and stuff. How many punches do you think that guy can throw before he has an arrhythmia? Two! Two! Yeah! And also, what is this man's top speed?

Because look, I've never been a runner. But I think I could beat him running backwards. I think I could run backwards and mock him as he tried to chase me. I think you put a few in your kneecaps. Slow you down a little bit. I've seen him shoot. That's what makes him scared. That might not even be a thing.

They shoot and they push forward when they shoot. See, the gun changes it. But the whole, oh oh we better look out for huel or he'll sit on you like it's just like no this guy's not beating anybody up i'm pretty sure you could juke him around a couch and run out the front door and he'd just be like stumbling after yeah yeah dude tucker you could juke him out like training zombies in world at war because you would you could just break into a light sprint a very light sprint and then take take a lunch take a nap like 100 yards away you got time it would be fun if if in one of these

mobster movies someone had like all five seriously badass crazy morbidly obese guys and you zombie and you just kited them you know like if you just you know i want to see the scene in these like italian mobster things where it's like all right we're having the muscle meet up at Joey's butcher shop on the killing floor and like the guy has to walk through and he checks and then he stops in front of the big fat guy and he's like you are out of control sir only thing I need you for is to be my muscle I can't do that when you're eating yeah hoagies all day getting fat. And stop nibbling on this raw pig while I talk to you.

It's frozen and it's pork. You're going to kill yourself. I want to see that because the mobsters that always seem to have all the stuff closed up in the movies and everything, they'll just have a dude who's like 64 and morbidly obese sitting in a dark car

on sunday at four in the morning watching someone and it's like you that guy could at least put a young supple healthy person in the car so they can phone in if he dies like i don't know i just i'd run things differently only the fittest mafia is what yeah yeah like when vin diesel beat that guy up, I could buy it. But if that guy was... I would put the only gay guys to be my muscle because they'd always be in tremendous shape. They'd take that part seriously. Oh, I'm glad you

mentioned that. There is a homosexual superhero in One Punch Man who's like... The Puri Puri prisoner. Puri prisoner. And he is this... Oh, God. I can't describe what a stereotype he is. It's a little weird.

He's got this, like, 5 o'clock shadow that won't quit with rosy cheeks. And all he talks about is, like, he comes onto the scene, and there's two superheroes fighting a bad guy. And he's like, look what you did to these beautiful boys. These are my boys. I won't let you hurt anymore, my boys. And he's dressed in, like, old-timey prisoner, like, stripes. Like a whole striped uniform.

With a ball and chain. With a big ball and chain, which he never uses as a weapon. And when he goes into super power mode, he jumps in the air and goes, Pri-prisoner angel mode or some shit like that. And all of his clothes explode from his body, and he's completely nude and hyper muscular. load from his body and he's completely nude and and hyper muscular and just and they do everything they can to hide his dong uh every time he's like fighting and punching and stuff it's so it's bizarre i mean i it sounds like another interesting character why does he have the ball and chain and it's on netflix because he got put in the prisoner he got put in the prison for uh for being too in

love with some of the hero boys yeah like like he literally is a sexual assault character But what they do is they like take every like stereotype of a character It's like oh we want a gay character turn it to ten Oh, you want like an attractive girl turn it to ten like they just there's no in-between middle ground so it's absurdity but yeah, I have like I have basically zero experience with animes but subtlety doesn't seem to be something they capitalize on no no no no animes like that's the only anime i've ever watched was cowboy bebop and it was fine like i didn't love it like a lot of people who seemed to like it was all right though i just that the the pan left or pan right shots

on people's faces in anime where they're just going like, someone will be like, I'm the one who killed your father. And he's just like looking at it. He's like, Oh, that doesn't happen. It's just like stress lines and stuff that, I don't know why.

It just, it really bothers me. I'll tell you my favorite part of the show is, it's when like the fight. I remember Pokemon when they did that. Like three, maybe three times in the whole season, the fights get so goddamn intense that the animation can't even keep up and it starts becoming

scribbles and stuff. And you're like, fuck, the animation can't even keep up. It's just black and white scribbles at this point. And shit moving around. This episode is due Monday. Oh, fuck. The dude who's done the art for this did another series that you might like

Kyle it's brand new too it's called Mob Psycho 100 and it's it's the it's got that same like you know you can only like this isn't my final form so many times so I love it when the animation devolves into like like a stop motion black and white.

You're just like, this is how next level it is. They do the same shit. It's about like a psychic who's actually like, you know, you're running the fraud like I will get these demons out of here in a world where there's actual demons. And his his subordinate guy is this stupid young kid who's legitimately psychic and actually takes care of the demons. So the son pretends, or the little kid, like, pretends, or doesn't pretend. He's, like, trying to help out, but he doesn't know that his mentor is just a con man. So it's like, the fight sequences are what makes it so cool to me. I fucking love them.

I'll check that out. That sounds fun. Well, it's One Punch Man and Mob Psycho 100. It's by the same guy. The same guy made them both. Is this in English or it's in Japanese? It's got the dub. Do you have to read?

You got to read. You may be able to find it somewhere else where you don't have to read, but on Netflix you're going to have to read. I was leaving that part out on purpose. I don't mind it. I just don't like – the only time I don't like subtitles is when they don't have them timed right. It's timed well. The entire – it will show a paragraph or the speech as the guy starts talking,

and, of course, you finish reading it way before. But I guess it would be fine. It's timed very well on netflix um oh i heard that netflix is uh is i guess they bought i don't know how the process works anymore but they're they're having martin scorsese make that film the irishman and they've bought it uh with i think it's got de niro and uh and a couple uh a couple other big actors in it they're making some sort of mob crime movie. I think it's about a hitman. I think De Niro plays

a hitman. I think that's what it's about. Does he play a hitman in Boston from Southie again? Yeah. I think that's the deal with the... Scorsese's really narrowed down the movies he makes. It used to be like, it's going to be about gangsters. Like, alright, Scorsese,

we got it. He's like, they're going to you didn't be in boston last time no i'm pretty set i'm pretty set on boston again and again and again i know what's going i don't know if it's i don't know for sure if it's in boston but i don't know it looked really good i can't remember what the cast was we were looking at the other night and there's a lot of people in there that looks uh it's gonna be good netflix is just like a much awaited movie is that i don't know about that but i think it was interesting that net that Netflix is paying a ton of money for this thing, and it's got a huge, really good cast. They're becoming like the new HBO.

They're definitely on the same level. Chris Rock has been selling his specials to HBO for 25 years or something like that. Netflix has bought his next two specials. I think they're going to do it like Dave Chappelle style maybe and throw them both out there. I think it was $40 million. So they outbid HBO. So you're going to have a couple of Chris Rock specials.

They said that Chappelle's two specials are the most watched comedy specials ever on Netflix. Can you imagine being so funny or so good at your job that there's somebody who's going to pay you $40 million for two hours of your content? I'm not saying it took you two hours to do it, but

that is such a gargantuan amount of money. It's crazy. It's mind-blowing. But that's insane. I wonder what $40 million means to him. He just went through a divorce, so it means this is all mine this time around does he?

I don't think that's how divorce works yeah shit well he's going to have to use some of that but I don't remember what your settlement was I think he had a prenup it was really funny he was talking about it on the Stern show and Stern was like I saw some pictures of you in the paper

you were on Leonardo DiCaprio's yacht with a bunch of models and he's like yeah that wouldn't be he's like no no here it is that that's you he's like i didn't see that he's like not even want to acknowledge it or talk about it at all he's like you're fucking with me right now you're fucking me up i don't know what he's worth let's say that he's currently worth 70 million million. $70? Yeah. Then if you add $40 to that, what does that mean to him? Like, how does that –

Are we talking – like, net worth, I always feel like is – it's like he's getting paid $40 million, so, like, you got to take out taxes, probably some management fees. So if he sees $20 million, that's a big, significant chunk. I don't think he'll see $ mil but like that's a huge fucking amount of money i just when you take a guy's net worth and you change it from 70 to 90 million like this oh does he yeah is that a thing for him you already had everything you need and you're still not in the range of like what do you want to do you want to buy the biggest yacht on the

planet while you're still 600 million short or whatever so like he's not quite in that echelon of like, I have so much money I literally burn it. But he's like, I don't know, 70 to 90 million. If I was worth 70 million and the day before I was worth 90 million, I'd be upset. In the same way that if Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah money, I think

Woody said that, that Bill Gates would be like Oh, fuck! I'm in the poor house! I'm worth a half of a half of a percent what i was worth or however much it is like i don't know it's interesting to think of that perspective i saw bill gates being interviewed and he was getting angry with the guy that i don't remember the exact conversation but the guy was saying something about he's like don't you oh the guy was hitting bill gates about about the way Microsoft was structured back in the day, and he was saying, well, what about those taxes that you avoided, that you didn't pay?

He's like, well, should I have tried to pay more taxes than I was supposed to pay? He's like, I've paid more taxes than any human being ever. That is a strong point. I have paid more taxes than any human being ever. He's like, I paid my fair share. And he's like, and we're here talking about my AIDS donations. He's like, where are you coming from?

You know how most people are like, hey, I don't like how that cop's acting, and I pay his taxes. Yeah, yeah, I pay his salary. I would love for Bill Gates to get pulled over and be like, oh, not only did I pay for, I don't know where he lives, all of, oh, you're a Sacramento cop? That's hilarious. I actually paid for your entire precinct and the rest of the city. Do you enjoy those roads you take home? That's me. You're welcome. Also, the entire state of Montana, Mr. Gates here. I would be such a douche about it. You ever think he wakes up and it's like, farmers succeed due to crop subsidy.

He's like, you're welcome. That much money, it would be hard to not want to just trifle with things. The fact that he hasn't already bought all of one kind of sport is mind-boggling to me. He could just be like, man, NBA's looking great. I'll take it. Which team do you want to own? Utah Jazz? If you're a budget guy, maybe you can take the Lakers. If you can spring it. He's like, no, no, no. How much is the league? Plus 20% for you. How much is that?

It's like, I don't know, $10 billion. You're going to write a check for that? I'll call it an even 15. That would be awesome. $10 billion. You're going to write a check for that? I'll call it an even 15. There we go. That would be awesome. I don't know. Is that what you would do, Taylor? Yes.

Let's say you have to be frivolous with your huge gargantuan fortune. Would you buy the NHL and start tinkering? you would the would the st louis blues go on a winning streak like never before it would be the st louis blues would be like whatever the north korean version of kim jong-il's favorite sports team is every season 82 and oh and they're like you know the the young young like i would do that right i'd be the Harlem Wilts Riders. Like, I would do that.

Honestly, I'd buy the whole NHL, and I'd be like, all right, Blues, you got four years to win one on your own. Otherwise, I'm stepping in. And if they still hadn't won one in four years, I'd be like, all right, everyone, all the rules about contracts are out. And it's like, we're going to play in Russia. And it's like, oh, I'll triple your salary. You still going?

No. Oh, you're not? Oh, you're not? You're not with it now. Thank God. No, that's not what you do. You still going? No. Oh, you're not. Oh, you're not. You're fine with it now. Thank God. No, that's not what you do. You buy the KHL. You buy the KHL.

You're just shutting shit down. And you shut that shit down. You fucking tell all those KHL players if they want their contracts renewed, come over to America. No, you know what I would do is I would shut down the KHL and the Chicago Blackhawks franchise. Shit. And then I would take all of them and be like, all of you, you've got to really compete because you're all trying out for the St. Louis Blues right now. All of you. You're going to play your fucking hardest.

You could make an All-Star team and you would win. Now, I know they say All-Star teams don't beat championship teams, but don't forget, the championship teams lose all their best players. That's crazy. Where they're like, All-Star team wouldn't beat a championship team well if they met him in the stanley cup they might but they don't allow it because that would be unfair if they're like now the montreal canadians versed everyone who's really really good in the east it's like and also the all-star team doesn't get to practice for more than just tonight when we go out together and shoot around in a game we're not taking seriously. But I would definitely buy those

leagues, tinker around, boost up my own team, build like false flag teams to throw off the doubters, the dissenters. I would make like, I don't know. The Dallas Sour Puffs. I'd make the Canucks also a super powerhouse or something

so that people could be like, you know, it's the Canucks who are really behind this just as much as the Blues. And I'd be like, yes, it is. I don't know. I would go broke quickly with this strategy. You don't think you... You could have so much... I mean, think about it. If you were really a little shit lord, you could probably

buy up all of the one type of precious metal used for iPhone screens and be like, okay, guys, who wants to buy it now? You really could. You could fuck the world up. Something I would absolutely make them do is, if I were that rich, I'd buy at least

two professional teams. It's like a hockey team and a football team. Pick one of the four major sports. I'd buy them. And then every year, my teams have to do exhibition matches versus my other teams in sports of my choosing. Oh, looks like the L.A. Rams are taking on the St. Louis Cardinals in ice hockey. Let's see how it goes. I'm next on the Taylor Network.

You know, and it's all the commercials are just parody commercials of me pimping products that don't exist. Everybody would love it. Everybody would love it. You want to see that? See how baseball players and football players compete in hockey or see how a baseball and a hockey team compete in football or whatever combination? It'd be a lot of fun. I'd buy Alabama, the university, and make them play the worst team in the NHL

every year just to make sure that people in Alabama would vote to score in the NFL. Yes, the worst team in the NHL versus Alabama every year. You make sure that people in Alabama know the score. In the NFL, yes. The worst team in the NHL versus Alabama every year. You keep saying NHL. NFL. There we go. The NFL. We know what it is. That's what people ask about.

They always wonder how the best college team, especially if there's a real dominant... What do they call it when they keep winning? Dynasty. Dynasty. Thank you. That's exactly what I was looking for. if there's like a real dominant like uh what do they call it when they keep winning dynasty dynasty thank you that's what exactly i was looking for if there's like a dynasty and this is like the best year of the dynasty and they say you know could the 2016 alabama red tide or whatever they're fucking called you know beat the detroit lions or whoever sucks that year cleveland probably they suck and then everybody laughs at them because that's so absurd that it shouldn't

even be considered like the like the fact is whenever somebody tells me that i'm like are you dumb or just like willfully like trying to push this idea that you really really think i want to see it i would they don't have nearly the puncher's chance that like we've talked about the conor mcgregor floyd mayweather fight oh yeah they don't have the puncher's chance that Conor McGregor has because it's a combat sport. It's a fucking system. It's a totally different one. You see the guys who excel in college ball,

what happens to them when they get in the NFL. I'm a big Georgia fan, or at least a quasi-Georgia fan, and I just remember following them during the years when we were getting our asses trounced by Florida, by Tim Tebow, and Matt Stafford is the kind of accurate, hard-throwing quarterback who stays in the pocket. And he's an NFL-style quarterback. And you see now he's excelling in the NFL.

Tebow is just running everywhere with their open offense. And I was just grinding my teeth for those two or three years watching him just destroy us every time we played and thinking, like, he's not going to fucking make it in the NFLfl and sure enough now he's got he's a missionary with like a minor league baseball contract or something yeah literally yeah it's it there's a like if if it was every top 10 person like the nfl drafts happening right now every top 10 person went to be one of the top 10 players in the league next year like you'd be like okay uh if you have like three top 10 players in your team maybe you could have a good game.

But that's not the case. Johnny 32nd round can become the best kicker in the league just because, you know, it's not like a linear, you get chosen the best, you are the best. So, like, Alabama would not, nobody, nobody in college would ever come close to beating an NFL team. No, I have just like a weird fascination with wanting to see exhibition games in sports, especially one versus another across sports lines,

but watching a football one would be cool just because you'd want to know how much games. That's one of the reasons that MMA is so cool is while they are all combat sports, especially in the early UFC days, you were mixing those different things. The boxer is fighting the sumo wrestler and the wrestler is fighting the Taekwondo guy. That's kind of what the whole thing is interesting and a novelty was. And that never happened before for some crazy reason. So like martial arts has advanced more in the last 30 years than the previous 3000, you know, and someone said it and they phrased it so well. They're like, we thought like the most badass people on the planet were these like Chinese

acrobats, you know, who are flipping around doing their ninjutsu or whatever. It turns out the toughest guys in the world were these grapplers in Brazil and these wrestlers in the American Midwest. Like they turn out to be the big shots and, uh, it's evolved now. And of course you have to be good at everything, but,

uh, it was just neat to see what's happened to martial arts. Yeah, that's, that's a good point. I never really thought of it like that. Cause I'm not super into UFC like you guys are, but then I realized,

isn't that why Rousey was always getting shit from the people that knew that they were talking about? Like, well, she's only good at one thing. And as soon as somebody's better at anything else, you know, she's going to come in and get her ass whooped. I think the entire fighting audience and everyone involved with it kind of drank the Kool-Aid on that one. And I didn't know enough to

form an opinion, I suppose, and probably still don't. But everybody that I listened to was screaming that, ah, she's a next generation athlete. She's the best thing there's ever been. And it really turned out that she wasn't facing very difficult competition. And she is an Olympic level judo player who's incredibly good at one or two things, one of them being an armbar. And she just won and won, won once more in that dominating fashion and even when she fought uh i can't pronounce her name well but beche uh in brazil and you saw that like her striking was really wild and wasn't accurate and she ate a few punches on

the way in nobody gave her any crap then it was like well but look at beche look at right yeah ronda's got a busted lip but look at at the other person. Like, are you really, is this really how we, like, find some chink in the armor on Ronda Rousey now? You're telling me, oh,

she bled, so she's not a good fighter? Like, is that how it works? Like, no. And then we kept buying in. When she was,

you know, I guess it was only like a year ago when she was like the grand poobah of women's fighting, or maybe a little more than a year ago, but I remember at the time, like, Joe Roganah of women's fighting, or maybe a little more than a year ago. But I remember at the time, like Joe Rogan offhand,

I remember like a lot of these UFC commentators were like, this person is next level. This is a level of athleticism that we've never seen in the octagon before. I can't believe this. Joe Rogan said this. Oh my God, it's insane. Joe Rogan said that she's not, listen, he's like, she's not a once in a-a-lifetime fighter.

She's a once-in-an-ever fighter. And then, you know, he kind of regrets that. See, stone cold ridiculous. Stupid. And even then, how many of those people have walked it back and said, all right, I admit, I got a little excited because, just like I said, I didn't know shit about this sport. And a year and a half ago, I was saying, Ronda Rousey's

not going to be good soon because new sports like the first ever baseball all-star probably didn't stick around for long because they'd be like, oh, Willard Waxston or whatever, you know, he was real good at the old corkscrew bebob hit that we used to do but that fell out of

favor once you were allowed to overhand throw the ball or like whatever. Somehow everybody learned the keep your eye on the ball technique. Errors went way down, hits went way up. I disagree with this by the way strongly. I think that those early baseball players were skill-wise

just as good as the ones today. They didn't have the systems and the training and the drills. Their bodies weren't as strong, but they were playing against – it was a level playing field. Baseball is a bad example. For one day, their bodies would be different because they'd be eating different and they wouldn't be drinking beer,

and they also wouldn't be mechanics before the ball game because you didn't make enough money to play professional ball. I mean, obviously, it was just back then. But the system hasn't changed. You're still hitting the same ball with the same bat, whereas Ronda Rousey's problem was she wasn't a well-rounded athlete. It'd be like comparing it to a baseball player who could only do one thing. Yeah, there was Jimmy Schmitz, and he was just incredibly fast,

and he didn't have to hit the ball. He could just run. That wasn't the case. It was just that Ronda wasn't well-rounded, and that's why she got taken down. I heard Judo, if Judo was a competent thing in the UFC, was just fine. She's probably the

8th to 15th best women's fighter in the world right now. She got a bronze. Oh, I bet she's 3rd. Something like that. I don't know about that. Really? Because after the top two, I'm like, who else beats her? Penny? Well, Holly Holm already did.

If she fights Holly again, could she beat her that's a good question and then that j what's that chick the polish chick like jay check or something now that girl's 20 pounds lighter i get there's a lot of polish chicks and i get them mixed up because they're all and polish chicks all look the same and their names are always stupid um but but there is one with with like three k's and their names are always stupid it's the one with like 3 K's and a couple Y's in it right they all have that I have a topic are we interested in

yeah what you got so there's a news agency I saw this on reddit that is suing these people for being fake strongmen. Now, I think this video is a few minutes long. I want to give it a little time. Alright, and autoplay is such a... Can I ask, are these the kind of strongmen who would show up at your church, or like a YMCA, or like a...

Yes, I'm into it. And rip phone books in half, right? Yep, I know these guys. Alright, yeah, I think their names are Chip and Steel or something like that. So let's play it. Yeah, give it a little time because some good shit comes. It's Chop and Steel. Chop and Steel. Alright.

Cue up at zero, Kyle. You're running ahead. Is everybody ready? Yeah. Ready, set, play. You're watching Hello, Wisconsin. Hello, Wisconsin!'re watching hello, Wisconsin Now hello, Wisconsin is suing these men. I know I'm excited strongman duo chop and steal are here in the studio Oh no no These people are not strongmen Who died in this shit?

The thing is they're getting sued They're getting sued for posing as fitness experts! They're getting sued for posing as fitness experts! They're getting sued for posing as fitness experts! They're curling it together! They're curling it together! They're curling it together! They're curling it together! That guy is why I don't like Nike dry fits sometimes.

That guy is why I don't like Nike dry fits sometimes. That guy is why I don't like Nike dry fits sometimes. One of the lefts is like 15-20 pounds overweight. One of the lefts is like 15, 20 pounds overweight. He drinks a lot of beer. These are from the parking lot outside. This happens to be a parody. Oh, it's totally a joke.

No, but you have to understand. Dude, the most interesting part of it to me is Good Morning Wisconsin is suing them for posing as fitness experts. Look at him chopping these stupid sticks in half. They're the diameter of a finger. My fingers are probably... He's breaking the kind of sticks that we don't break. He's just stepping on wicker Easter egg baskets. They're stomping.

He's doing a quick... Oh my god, I got to stab some up. We just hit me. Thanks for us. Oh my god I got stamps up! With his technique! Thanks for strength! He's holding them perfectly and then twisting them to the front like it's a very executable maneuver. This is fucking hilarious. This is so weird.

Watch this fitness exercise. Again, this is one you don't want to try at home unless you feel like you can really pull it off. Why don't you lift up your shirt? One man is pulling the back of his shirt up. I hope he's built up quite a callus out here. Then the other one is just throwing sticks lightly at his back. Okay.

Three, four, three, two, five, six. What are you doing over there? I'm in the middle. Seven, eight, nine. They're doing push-ups in a 69 position on one another. Twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six. Okay, the most impressive thing about this is they're keeping it in the middle. Twenty-eight, twenty-nine.

Twenty-nine. Twenty-nine. Twenty-nine. Twenty-nine. Twenty-nine. Twenty-nine. Twenty-nine. Twenty-nine.

Twenty-nine. Twenty-nine. Twenty-nine. Twenty-nine. Twenty-nine. They're doing push-ups in a 69 position on one another. 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, you can see it while it's flexing there that if you do this at home, it's working all your delts, your traps, your claps, it's a major trap. Did you hear that? Icon is 69. They made up excuses. They're like, it works your delts, your traps, your claps, and your claps. Those aren't even things.

I mean, I'm just being honest. Are we sure this isn't fair? I mean, I don't know about the news people, but these two people are clearly joking. I'm talking about the news station. Yeah, I think the news station's legit because I'm reading the tickers, and it's like weather reports, and it's about buses being hit. They're just hitting a tire with football bats. Yeah, like the whole point of hitting a tire with a bat is that you have to hold the weight back when it bounces. He's doing it like lightly with just his wrists with a wiffle bat.

This is all different dates. They have different like lower thirds for every one of these things too. Multiple periods. Yeah. Oh my God, how many was it? Secret. Well, no, no, no. If we don't play that then we see okay well then all right now i have no excuse at all for the wisconsin news station because if you not if you

invite these people back after they're doing 69 push-ups and hitting tires with football bats like you gotta know it's dude this screams wisconsin news like like trying to drum up some sort of viral content for their Wisconsin news. Welcome back to Madison tonight. Let me read this to you. Give me the floor for just a second. The owner of an Eclair television station didn't find an early morning prank last November too funny. The people behind the Atlanta-based Gray Television, which owned WEAU-TV, filed a federal lawsuit this morning in New York against the found footage festival Joe Pickett and Nick Puehler, all of New York. Using fake names and materials, the defendants fraudulently induced Gray Television to book their appearance for a live interview on its flagship morning program, Hello Wisconsin. Pickett and Puehler arrived at WEAU,

identified themselves as Chop and Steele. During their live appearance on the show, the pair touted their mental strength. Chop discussed the violent outbursts he was prone to while abusing steroids and his wealthy upbringing, while Steele discussed the body issues of his impoverished upbringing. They posed as fitness experts,

and there's a real lawsuit. That's hilarious. I think that they need to be let off that lawsuit because it's just too funny. And if you were duped by that, if you're in your own living room with a wiffle ball bat and a giant truck tire trying to get in this kind of shape

where this guy's way too tight, under armor shirt, which are like showing his... Clarence, hit my back! Yes, throwing sticks at one another. I can feel the burn. I love this local news prank shit i just want another story i'm looking for the yo-yo guy yeah no this is the same guy i just linked the story it's the yo-yo guy and the cook guy so this guy he did he go he went on local news stations and pretended to be someone else obviously just like these workout people the one i saw first of him is he went

promoting a fake book called leftovers done right where he brought bunches of old thanksgiving food into local tv stations and made grotesque leftover foods under the auspice of it being for children and then would serve it to make the other person eat it and just like all the thanks these Thanksgiving... The ice cream cone. And just like all the Thanksgiving ingredients in an ice cream cone. Like mashed potatoes and peas on top. And the yo-yo guy is a different guy. He's also a comedian.

He was on The Office for a couple of episodes. The yo-yo guy is the same guy, I believe. But another thing that the guy did with... Maybe it's not the same guy. But the other thing he did with his hand for the Thanksgiving food is, you know how you do turkey hands for little kids? He had leftover turkey sliced up and bread, and he's like, we're going to make some fun time turkey sandwiches.

And so he puts his hand on the bread and then with a marker goes and does his hand. And the whole time he's having the host do it with him he's like ma'am you know just keep going around there try not to get too much marker on it we'll cut those off with scissors later and then he gives her scissors and they cut out their hand from this bread and then put a bunch of turkey between it and then just use toothpicks

to hold all the fingers together and this poor fucking lady has to sit there as he's like and see it's a great thing for all the kids and she's like yeah yeah it certainly is it certainly is he made this one woman drink a smoothie of turkey mashed potatoes corn cranberries like butter because he just was like a lot of us don't have all the time to be doing all these uh you know leftovers so we just throw them in the blender take it on the go here take a sip of that and then the best part is he kicks the leg out from under his own fucking table with all of the food on it to make a disaster right at the end like he kicks the leg out from under his own

folding table and all of the leftovers and shit spill out in the studio and the lady's like ah and everybody freaks out and he acts like, oh, my masterpiece. This thing that you're linking is great. This is the Yo-Yo Guy, and it's time-stamped. I'm paused at 44 seconds. One moment, please. Kenny K. Strasser. This guy is a comedian.

He's been on The Office and a bunch of shit. Are we ready? Yeah. Real quick. I don't know if he's going to say it in this place. He is yo-yoing on this show to further his message of environmentalism. He's a self-espoused professional yo-yoer. His feature is the around the world. He's unveiling his new top secret trick flying angel. All right, ready set play

And it goes hey there up in the sky It's the case trust the yo-yo guy and then I do that And I get them into it, okay, this gentleman with the yo- know and i get them going and i get them into it okay this gentleman with the yo-yos is wearing green shorts and suspenders so you're ready to do the trick then i'll tell you what right you'll have a t-shirt all right case ross go ahead and take it away and uh i usually have like a headpiece for this no no uh for effect okay because i act like i'm a blue angel okay so i say uh air traffic control we are ready for takeoff all right ten four guys five

immediately fall apart and get tangled up lost one he's just sweet we're going and we get worrying and we're like, all right, everybody, let's take it down to the ground and we'll get into a Huey. And we get going. Oops. He has three or four yo-yos tangled together. It's dead silent. It's dead silent, but all you can hear is the clacking of the yo-yos.

And let's bring it back home for a clean landing. He's just swinging it over his head like one of those Australian bolo things. And he collapses and he's tied himself up. You okay? Yeah, I got very dizzy. Okay. Do you want to continue where you're at? Can you do that?

Okay, because you've got all eight yo-yos in there. He just holds his hands up like a kid who's all messy with finger paints. Like, I can't, I'm too tangled. I think I'm going to give up some of the yo-yo stuff because I don't have the muscle memory. Okay. Oh, no. Well, anyway, but you do go on out to schools. And again, let's talk a little bit more about Zips Up and what they do.

Like you said, this is actually for uh it's it's it's a non-profit it's a non-profit they're based in minneapolis uh i met them at the burlington yo-yo championship in wisconsin okay um and they've just been sending me around and i've been in schools uh tomorrow i'm all the way down in Arkansas. Okay. Well, again, thank you for taking the time. You were in Omaha yesterday, so you've been on the road quite a bit. And, of course, we'll put the information about Zip Zap on our website.

LLC.com, correct? He's standing in that perfect way of shoulders forward, back, just very uncomfortable and hunched up. The funniest part of that to me is that he doesn't even... There was no

attempt at yo-yoing. For those of you listening, at no point did he throw them all down and then pull them back up. He has four yo-yos on each hand, one on each finger. All he does is have them all on a fist, throws it forward baseball style. They're all immediately tangled up in useless Swings it in a circle on both sides

Any sip my bound that's not true was not connected. It's across the room He's doing a stupid fucking plane thing at the same time. We are coming in. We're landing. I have so much respect for people that can hold a straight face and engineer that level of awkwardness where the host is really trying his best to bring this under control and pivot it. And he's a helpless cause.

He's so good. All it was missing would be for him to piss himself. After he failed, if there'd been that moment of consolation where he's like, oh, you're a little tangled there, you need a moment, if he'd been like, I wet myself. I'm sorry, I got scared. I just wet myself. No, he wouldn't know, just stand there and

watch it puddle onto the floor. It's not the same guy as he does the yo-yo, but the guy who does the cooking, his fake name is Jeff Gerke. And his book is about turkey cooking. Jeff Gerke is turkey. I'm Chef Gerke. I'm going to teach you how to cook turkey. He introduces it, and what you're saying, Tucker, how they seamlessly keep it going with not laughing.

One of the things he asks in that one is, we like to have a lot of fun with leftovers, we like to keep it light, keep it fun. Are you familiar with Gigi Allen? And then just moves on from there. If you don't know who Gigi Allen was, he was an artist who was known for throwing fecal matter at people and starting huge riots, like where people would be cut and get AIDS in his shows, and like he would eat his own poop on stage. People still go to his grave and shit on it out of respect for him because he was such a scumbag basically and he just mentions that and then seamlessly transitions his way.

And his saying is something like leftovers stink, leftovers stink who knows what to do with them and then like it's not a saying it's just he says a sentence. I love this local news pranking shit. This is what pranks should be. Nobody's getting hurt and it's fucking hysterical.

I don't know, whoever booked those guests is probably getting fired, right? Or at least really talked down to. When they asked him, when they asked him, oh, your book, Leftovers Done Right, where can people get that? When is that available? Every single spot, because it's like an amalgamation of all the, a compilation of all the different spots he's done it on on TV. He's like, unfortunately, the book signing is canceled. There was a huge screw up with the printing and none of the books are able to be sold.

So sorry about that. And they're like, all right, all right so so but they'll be coming soon he's like they might they're probably not coming so what are you here for then well I hope in a prayer you know you know that's all right yeah I love let me do a couple ad reads here. Ooh. I want to do Nature Box first, because I have some Nature Box here. What do you do when you want to snack, but all you can

find is junk food? Rely on your self-control to resist the temptation? Please. You eat the junk food. Start snacking healthy with Nature Box. Nature Box makes snacks that actually taste great and are better for you. Created with high-quality ingredients that are free from artificial colors, flavors, or sweeteners. So you can feel great about snacking.

Some of our personal favorites are the peanut butter nom noms, the chocolate hazelnut granola. I really, really like the coconut cashews. NatureBox recently made their service even better. Now you can order as much as you want, as often as you want with no minimum purchase required. And you can cancel anytime. It's simple. Go to naturebox required, and you can cancel any time.

It's simple. Go to naturebox.com and check out their snack catalog. There are over 100 snacks to choose from, and they're constantly adding delicious new snacks. Choose the snacks you want, and they'll deliver them right to your door. At Naturebox, you'll never get bored. There are new snacks each month inspired with real customer feedback, and if you ever try a snack that you don't like, Naturebox will replace it for free. And right now, you'll save even more.

NatureBox is offering Painkiller Already fans 50% off your first order. I took advantage of this maybe five days ago because my order just got here. And I was shocked by the savings that you get with our code. So go check it out. NatureBox.com slash PKA for 50% off your first order. Check them out. I brought two bags of nom-noms with me. I had the blueberry and maybe the peanut butter.

I think that's what I had. And my intent was to keep them until the show so I could show them in case we had NatureBox as a sponsor. And they didn't make it that long. I ate them all up. Yeah. You did mine. Best testimonial that they didn't make it.

Mine didn't either, and I bought these myself. I'm not a huge fan of the Honey Crunch Crisps. That's not a favorite or anything, but the Coconut Cashews are the best thing I've gotten so far. If you like coconut, you'll really love them.

And the Yogurt Pretzels. All of the Yogurt Pretzels. These are strawberry yogurt pretzels, but I got the regular kind and the blueberry kind, and they are all really, really, really good. I have a hard time not eating them all. I'm going to be glad when they're gone, and I can get back to being healthy.

Because I'm eating the whole bag. I'm eating multiple bags. They sent me four of these things for free. I ate four bags of cashews. You can't do that. Yeah, and that's a very calorie-dense food. Cashews. Peanut butter nom-noms were my favorite so far.

I like those. Yep, they're very good. Good stuff. Check them out. And yeah, now a bit from Bowling Branch. I have Bowling Branch sheets. If you've ever stayed at a luxury suite or a five-star hotel, you feel like you could sleep forever.

You know how good you feel like you could sleep forever. You know how good you feel in those sheets. I want to tell you about a great brand, Bowling Branch. Their sheets turn your bedroom into a luxury suite. You're never going to want to get out of bed again. What makes these sheets unique is that each one is crafted from 100% organic cotton. That means Bowling Branch sheets not only feel incredible, but also look amazing. You're getting twice the comfort and style at half the price.

You'll love these sheets. Try them for 30 nights and see for yourself. If you're not impressed, return them for a full refund. Anyone who sleeps on Bull & Branch sheets loves them. That's why they have thousands of five-star reviews. The New York Times, Forbes, and the Wall Street Journal rave about them. And even three U.S. presidents have Bull & Branch sheets. I wonder which ones. Go to bullandbranch.com today and you'll get $50 off your first set of sheets, plus free

shipping when you use promo code PKA. That's $50 off, plus free shipping right now at bullandbranch.com. Spelled B-O-L-L and branch.com. Promo code PKA. Make that happen. We just put on our Bulllin Brand sheets for the first time

like two or three days ago. My wife is going bonkers about them. She wants clothes made out of Bowlin Brand sheets. Just frumpy sheet clothes. Long flowing sheets. Sheets are very easily converted into capes. That's a strong point.

You're like a kerchief and go. Fight crime. Toga party. I really like mine. She's wild about the sheets. Like, no joke. It's kind of annoying. It's annoying to, like, put on actual nice sheets and then be like, oh, i thought those other ones i had were pretty nice

like you just i don't know there's a weird this is i don't know how i don't know if this is i mean this is probably kosher but i actually got my bed because the like a couple times ago when i was on you guys were uh promoting casper right yeah so i literally when i moved to la i was like okay i need a mattress tonight so i called them they delivered it the same day, within two hours after buying it. And I was like, oh, okay. I didn't use your code because I didn't remember it. But, you know, the thought that counts, right? Well, they're listening to this.

They like to listen and make sure that we don't get a bad name. So just so you know, we sold them the mattress. You did. And the service was great. The service was really legit like unless you had another code that matched it or something but i just legitimately did not remember if you had a code or not but i remembered that casper was promoted and then i was like okay let's try this out it's great mattress like i don't know what else to say but i was like oh shit okay most people that work with us give like awesome discounts yeah that movement watches are the people that work with us give awesome discounts. Yeah, that and movement watches are the two that everybody keeps coming into my chat and talking about.

On Twitch, rather. Yeah. Dude, how is Twitch going? How is that? How do you like it as a job, etc.? I like it more than YouTube now. I mean, you guys are probably a little bit more removed from the whole day-to-day scene. Because that's still my primary.

But YouTube's just been in a rough spot where they're going through transitional changes. from like the the whole like day-to-day scene that you know because that's still my primary but um youtube's just been in a rough spot where they're going through transitional changes whether it's like you know that that ad bubble where everybody was paying too much for what they were uh for for they were paying the advertisers were paying too much for what they were getting back the roi wasn't there and that coupled with like the wall Street Journal pieces about how ads were appearing next to offensive videos has really caused most advertisers that don't Have a passionate hand in the game to just pull back and say like yeah

We don't really need to spend heavy into YouTube anymore So if you're like a YouTube main you're suffering I think my ad revenue and I'm not hit even remotely as hard as most people, is down about 30% as compared to last year. That's not total amount earned. That's legitimate like the CPM on my ads. I know some people that it's way worse. A lot of my friends just have no ads on their videos because YouTube has determined that they're not advertiser safe. But Twitch got nothing.

Can you like – you obviously know more about the YouTube youtube thing can you break that down a little more like what i i know that people are losing like oh i i used to make x amount now i make a tenth of it right i have no ads because i do news or something like what is what are they taking ads off of for the most part so let's take a hypothetical like a philip defran show. Somebody who's like very, like probably good community standing, good, you know, business standing. Phil wants to cover a story about an ISIS beheading. So if he puts ISIS beheading, kills, kidnap, murder, anything in his title, that video is flagged by YouTube as potentially advertiser unsafe because it deals with content that's not maybe not what advertisers want so advertisers when buying ads on youtube now have the option to check any video any video minus like blatantly marked like 18 plus videos any videos that are moderately offensive or specific videos

that they determine or like tags that they determine are acceptable the problem is is that most advertisers are like, well, fuck the first option. I'm going with the second one. YouTube's threshold for that right now is pretty low. So if you put Mexican, Christian, kill, murder, hurt, dead, death, anything remotely negative in your title, your video is going to be demonetized or not monetized initially. And there's no ad revenue. There's no ads on that video. How about CNN, YouTube page,

Fox, YouTube page, when they say beheading in Syria, ISIS responsible or something? Do they have their ads? I'm sure they do. One would assume they do just because they have the real news quote-unquote like that clout, but I do know that almost anybody, whether it's gaming, said,

oh, I'm sorry, I forgot one of the filters. May use bad language is one of the filters, too. So, like... Oh, my God, that's everything on YouTube. That's everything, right? So, I mean, there's nothing... It sucks. It's not the apocalypse like everybody likes to make it out to be.

I mean, you can build your content around that. But for, like, real channels that want to discuss real-world issues, I mean, it sucks because, like, you're kind of limited to how you can present your content. It seems like they're really trying to, in a roundabout, you know,

plausible deniability kind of way, just shut down independent content creators in favor of large media aggregates like CNN Fox We're gonna act like are we gonna act like they haven't been trying to do or favor the premium content because they they just announced YouTube TV 35 bucks a month you get all these cable access channels if YouTube isn't gunning to be the cable of The internet I don't know what is they poured all that money into? the cable of the internet. I don't know what it is. They poured all that money into SourceFed and trying to create premium content. They gave their best content creators millions of dollars to say, like, hey, we see you doing this in your living room. Take this to a studio, get a team of people

to work on it. And it worked out amazingly. Like, it really did. The YouTube Red series, those have billboards over on Sunset Boulevard. I'm driving down, there's like, high school featuring your favorite YouTubers here. And I'm like, Jesus Christ. Good question. I'm not watching them. Yeah, yeah, because like, when I go to YouTube, there's a certain

like, I want to have a connection to the YouTuber. That's what I expect. And if you increase your production quality and you look like an anchor on fox cnn take your pick then suddenly like this isn't what i'm looking for you look like intimacy level changes yeah and uh in the early days a handful of people would like try to break into youtube be like look at these idiots doing it in their their bedrooms and their office home offices we're gonna do this for. And they all failed because the audiences were like that.

No, you're not doing YouTube. Right. I can turn on the TV and get that. There's a, um, there's a unnamed. Okay.

I was just, go ahead. You go first. All right. So Taylor, their, um, Tucker kicked off with advertisers.

Weren't getting their value. And I wonder if the, how true that is. Cause like when I think of not getting your value, I think television, right? You know, if I advertise on how I met your mother and it's like, I don't know, dish detergent or something, most of those people aren't buying dish detergent. You know, a lot of them are kids. A lot of them are dads or whatever. It's the mom who's making this decision in the house. And that's only one in every fifth person watching. I made that number up, but whatever.

If I'm selling a video game and I put it on YouTube, then I can hit audiences that are almost entirely interested in that video game or a snack food or whatever it is. It's so much more targeted than when you use YouTube or Facebook or most of these internet things. They really don't waste a single impression,

an ad impression. So are they not getting, I think their complaint wasn't that they weren't getting value. Although Tucker may have heard something I didn't. It's that they didn't have real control. Like they could choose a demo, but you know, unbeknownst to Pepsi,

suddenly they're on a white supremacist video or something like that. That's what they didn't like. I mean, I think it's a little bit of both. I think it's a little bit of both where they felt like they didn't have the control to direct it when they went out. Right. So here's an example. When I go and monetize a video on Twitter and that's a very new thing, I have to I have to select specific categories in which my video might apply. I also can disallow specific Twitter handles, themes, whatever. So I could say, you know, anybody who's trying to put an ad on this that's from Pepsi can't anymore. YouTube, I guarantee you, like Google is the king of ad service. So I guarantee you that they have plenty of reasons and ways for you to

choose who gets to see what ad, but it's more along the lines of where we're, it's, it's like the new media versus old media, where we're talking about like Nielsen boxes and like this idea of the way that it should be. And then going and turning and saying, well, Pepsi, well, Pepsi has, you know, spent $5 million on all these videos. And out of those videos, who's to say, and I don't have anything concrete to back this up, but who's to say that 2 million of those views weren't on these gutter YouTube videos that get 3,000 views

and are a silent upload of somebody's security footage, right? There's no content control. I think that's the problem. I think what YouTube does really well is they can predict who's watching it right that they can do oh they do that's the bad that's where they're good what tv does really well is they can predict what they're watching right whereas youtube you know

you don't know what that's going to be put on it could be secure if for some reason teenage girls absolutely love closed circuit tv of like streets in Britain. Britain? Is that even a place? Streets in Britain? Yes. Yeah. Well, you know, they're streets. I think I pronounced Britain wrong. Is that a part? Whatever. I don't know. I've really

lost my mind. I think that an advertiser can contact your network or whoever's running your channel and say, hey, I want to run ads on his channel. I think that's gone. And they can do that. Like, I know for a fact they can do that because I've had advertisers that would come to me straight up and ask for a quote on what it would cost to get a video, give them the quote, and then maybe nothing comes of it. And you're like, oh, that's odd.

They went, you know, 80% of the way to doing a deal and then maybe nothing comes of it you're like oh that's odd they they went you know 80 of the way to doing a deal and then went silent then two months later you see their ads running as post rolls and shit on your shit they go around you back to your network and work out a better deal with them i think that ended like two years ago didn't it like networks don't place ads on your videos anymore google does yeah they can no no no google places ads but networks can sell premium ads on their own volition and put that on i thought that was i read that was gone and then i talked to lars about it and he told me it was gone so that's what i was going off of oh yeah so i mean so the the the way that we used to do it is over where the

networks were the sole thing but youtube fills ads currently, and then networks can go to mymobilegame.net and say $20 CPM. They have to give YouTube a cut, and then it just goes placed back on your video. I think it's very rare, and I don't think that most people do it. I think networks still survive on that 10% cut or whatever the bullshit they do. But the only reason I'm saying this is because I had my network offer me something similar. Like, do you want to have us put this pre-roll on for this amount of money? I was like, no. It's like incredibly weirdly targeted.

Exactly. See, that's one of the things that's always there is it's a very targeted ad. One time it was for, I don't want to to say the brand but it was a microwavable pizza snack of some kind yeah that really leaves the imagination hey there's a lot of them out there it actually wasn't that one there's a lot of them um and yeah they go around i i know that budweiser has done it not to me in particular but on someone someone else. Budweiser pays like a redonkulous CPM. It was very upsetting to that person and to me in behalf of them when I found out the CPM that was coming behind that, that they weren't giving him any of. It was like $28 was supposed to be his cut.

Like something absurd. It was absurd. But, like, something absurd. It was absurd. And I think that, to get back to the original point, like, how is Twitch, how is YouTube, I think that a lot of content creators that put all of their eggs in or only had their eggs in the YouTube basket

are finally coming around. The ones that are newer to the game, H3H3 comes to mind, you know, that group of new wave content producers are like what the fuck do we do? They streamed on Twitch for the first time in ages a while ago, and they were like wow This is great Twitch introduced video uploading. It's not monetized right now But everybody's kind of vying for the same spot of like where can we house the best content creators and then use them to sell? Like targeted advertising to keep our platform

afloat. YouTube's never dying. That, as a system, whatever, it might get tougher to survive, but you will always have Joe Schmo uploading his random fight video up there, and it will get millions of views, and there will be some payment. If anything, it raises the barrier to entry,

though, where it's like, whereas maybe a year ago with a really active 300,000 subscribers, I'm just picking a number out. You could like upload twice a day and have a good living or whatever. Now it's like you need to be, let's say, four times that big to hit it. Yeah, I think I'm pretty open with myself. So like we remember back in the glory days where like you get a machinima for who don't know, would literally sign you a lifelong contract for a $2 CPM. If we could go back in time, I'm signing that fucking contract right now. And your boy is never leaving it.

Like, right now I'm getting about a.75 to $1 CPM on my content. Yeah. And that's with the current the current state i was getting two dollars cpm five months ago um it's there's also quarters stuff there's more complex shit but basically it's gone down pretty hard um and it's just it's kind of shocking where you look at it and you're like wow back in the day things were things were really doing well. YouTube actually put in a thing where you need 10,000 minimum views, lifelong views. So. Before they will even show.

No, views. Am I wrong? You need. Maybe I'm wrong. Yeah. You need views. It's 10,000 views, lifetime views to get ads enabled on your channel. And that, a lot of people are like, well, that's dumb.

I'm like, no, it's not dumb. That's literally $20 you're missing out on. Like, if that, it's $10 on a normal day. If you're struggling to get to 10,000 views, then it's not the path for you. Yeah. So I think that it's going to, you're right, it raises that barrier of entry where you can do this full time. I don't think that's necessarily a good thing. I also see that as...

Yeah, I was saying it like it was a bad thing because you'd think you'd want more lower-level people able to continue doing their stuff. And reinvesting your profits. That's not what they want. Yeah. They don't want that. No, YouTube wants to be more like a television network

with big tentpole stars. Big tentpole stars that can transcend digital content and go even though they're all about digital content and they want to wave that banner of like, we're digital, take that traditional. They still would love and they continue to love to take their digital stars and put them out there in those conventional formats and have a Justin Bieber out there over here or some guy hosting a TV show over there. That makes them look good

and it makes them more money. It's not that YouTube makes any money. It's still in the black super hard. It's never made a profit. The black is good. It's worth more than its monetary value though. If Google's ever like,

you know what, YouTube's a losing thing. Just close down all of the servers. The federal government would have to jump in. They're too big to fail. That catalog of information benefits... I had a lot of compilations of myself both musical and favorited on my account.

I don't care if you bring the rest of YouTube back. Just send me those videos. This is an executive order. That was so good, dude. Yeah. I mean, shit. Yeah, the landscape's interesting. As a content creator,

and I feel like I'm the, I'm like one of the last remaining like old guard content creators who does it daily the landscape is still very good for for people that are trying to get into it and it's still very sustainable and uh i enjoy it now just as much as i did before i just think the uncertainty uh is is is multiplied and because i'm in a position where i am i'm'm not affected by that as much. So like, it's very easy for me to take a step back and be like, eh,

I've seen platforms fall before. Like, it's not really the end of the world. There will be something else. I could go to Patreon if I needed to, but, um, the uncertainty was always the tricky part.

Like I went into the YouTube game, like when I went pro, um, thinking like, all right, what do you, this is what this career of yours will be like being the whatever 240th best golfer you know you sometimes you'll make the cut sometimes you won't your

career maybe last four or five years but it'll be the time of your life right and and that was like a decision i consciously made and uh but it's it's always been uncertain that's kind of the deal it's always been uncertain that's kind of the deal i um what bugs me a little is like look if you want to target white supremacist videos then like i kind of see where you're coming from if you want to target a lot of this you know like street fights and stuff like that like all right i get it i get it that's the things you see on live leak or world star hip-hop but like h3h3 is getting blasted by this thing pewdiepie is getting blasted by this thing. PewDiePie is getting blasted by this thing. Like my own videos, almost every PKA is unrestricted. Every PKA.

But the daily vlogs I make, they're available on restricted mode. And I look at it and I say, eh, I see where you're coming from. You know? Within five minutes of last show, we were comparing Japanese condoms to regular ones. Like, yeah, alright. It's a little lascivious. five minutes of last show we were comparing Japanese condoms to regular ones and what like yeah alright

you know that's not it's a little lascivious but you know damn well that nobody's going through that content and really scrutinizing it to see like oh this is absolutely advertiser friendly that's the thing that irks me is that I get that there's a time and place

for limiting but the blanket kind of... The overreaching just to be safe is what's killing the people that are holding the platform up. Demolition Ranch. Almost all of his videos were restricted. And, you know, I get that they're gun videos.

What'd you say? Oh, guns. Yeah, I don't know that channel, but I get it. Yeah, so he does guns mostly. And lots of fun things. Like he'll duct tape shotguns together and rig them up so one trigger pull makes four shotguns go or something. And it's kind of fun, silly gun stuff. All restricted.

He has another channel called Vet Ranch. And typically what they do is they get a really sick dog or cat they rehabilitate it and they find it a home almost all those videos were restricted some of them have like surgery footage but oftentimes they don't and it would just be a dog with like a patch of missing fur you know restricted and they really went hard on that like most stuff is restricted it It seems. Yeah, and I think that if they put out a guideline where they would say vocally, if you shoot guns or if you're showing yourself doing homemade weaponry, you're not going to get monetization.

Or if you do this, this, and this, like this is where we draw the line. That's where the issue is. It's the communication. Like we have this conversation every damn time there's a problem with YouTube. It's the lack of communication, the lack of in the dirt lines being drawn where everybody's just kind of going, eh, in my opinion, this is kind of the way it works out for me. Maybe it'll work for you. I mean, it sucks, but like... Historically, the lack of communication made kind of sense, and I'll explain.

Because they would change the way they promote things and algorithms and i know damn well youtubers if you tell them like you know what we're gonna be looking for x and y this is how the algorithm works the next day they start uploading stuff that makes the purpose of an algorithm if you tell them what you're doing it defeats the purpose yeah they'll just instantly start like oh oh, does a magic thing happen at like 11 minutes and 20 seconds? And all videos start being that exact length, and that's what will happen. But in this case, it seems like a win-win.

Like, hey, guys, we don't want you to use curse words. We don't want you to use homemade weapons. Don't do anything that's not safe to do at home. And these are the kinds of videos that we're looking for H3H3 will start existing in those boundaries but without knowing what they are it's tough

because they would never go on let's say somebody's advertising on Spike TV or something and they have a show like oh craziest spears is Spike TV still a thing? I have no idea good question I don't really watch normal TV for this reason it mostly sucks have a show like oh craziest spears is spike dv still a thing i have no idea like these weapons and good question like i don't really watch normal tv for this reason that it mostly sucks

but like they're just using that as excuse it seems like just so they can shut down little guys because they would never say they would never go to like pepsi since that's the example we're using and be like hey you just advertised on the history channel during a hitler special and then you came on the hour afterward and it was a special about tanks and that's pretty violent and that's not safe to do at home so that's you know we're going to restrict you know history channel ads to what's appropriate it's like they're just holding it to a different standard because they don't have a real reason but it goes the other way around to get rid of it it goes the other way around with television right like so if pe So if Pepsi's ad is being played on the History Channel, they choose when it plays.

They want their ad to be played around that tank documentary or they don't. Sometimes they do, or they just buy a time slot and get a cluster. Where you'll say, hey, I want to buy a cluster on DirecTV and it's going to be the women's interest or some shit. And they'll be like, okay, well,

I was just using DirecTV as an example, but otherwise they might be like, they just say we want the 8 to 11 prime time or whatever and they don't know what show's on that night. Maybe there's a special or something. They're going to open the TV guy.

Unless we have a different definition of little guy, it's not hitting just little guys. Like PewDiePie is not little to me, and he's been slammed. I'm saying little compared to mainstream media. I would say that this is affecting larger guys more than little guys. I would almost get – all right, so a little bit of clarity. I have not had a single video demonetized.

Not one, which makes no sense because I come I I'm vulgar I cover shooting games exclusively basically like my yeah right like like but like my shit should be demonetized on the general guidelines they've been given but it's not uniform it's not quantifiable though what you're saying is we should get a hold of someone. Yeah. Go call YouTube. I'll call FWIZ.

Like, let's get this shit down. What you're saying is you're under the radar, right? That's what you're getting at? Or maybe it's just not an even system. Yeah, it's not an even system. It can't be if I am unaffected outside of my videos have less premium ads on it, which is still affected, right? But, like, I have never had a video straight demonetized. I have a video of me talking about, like, you know, like, sex shit. And, like, nobody should advertise on it.

Ooh! Oh, no! But, like, I know it's crazy. Out of wedlock sex. But, like, you know, that's my only problem with it is the fact that it's not uniformly applied. If it was uniformly applied, like you said, everybody could kind of, if they wanted to change their content around, but what YouTube seemingly doing is pushing you off of their platform into another third party or your own platform

to getting money. I'll fucking turn off all ads on my videos if I'm getting $5,000 a month from Patreon. Like that's all it takes. And so I could literally go, hey, you 300 users, you get the videos a day early. Like you guys have a Patreon, you know the benefits of it. You know, speaking of that are to our Patreons. You want to be on the lookout. There's going to be a hangout coming up very soon. Just be on the lookout for that email, and you'll get the time and date coming up soon. Make sure you check that out. That's for our $50 Patreons.

You get at least an hour with us hanging out and having a good old time, and sometimes it stretches on into the maybe two or three hours. I really enjoy those things, and I get this and I always say it, but I'm always impressed with our fans

and like where they are in life and what they're doing. Like we've had a couple of fans come on the show as guests and like whether they're well-spoken or entertaining or not is a completely separate thing, but they've always got their shit together. Like they're doing well in school or they're an entrepreneur with plans to do more in school. They often have businesses or they're programmers

or they're like, they've made their own app or something. They're always really successful, interesting guys. Especially the Hangout. There's some reason they're able to pay $50 a month to hang out with me. It must not mean much to them.

That's some frivolous shit. I was going to say, these guys are put together. That is the peak of frivolity. I don't jer you off or nothing. That's all me. Kyle doesn't do it. You know that scene in Pulp Fiction where he's looking at the $5 milkshakes and he's

like, they don't put bourbon in it or nothing? That's what spending $50 to hang out with me for an hour is like, he don't jerk you off or nothing? I was, Tucker, I was watching your video, I think it was today, the Call of Duty trailer, and it was cool. you because it so the top comment. I don't know if you pinned it or if you just got it naturally What you like that video can we please watch that video before we go any further? I think I should watch this video We should watch it because you're here and you'll defend us from any strikes, and it's a really good video You may I watch it about three hours ago

you made. I watched it about three hours ago. It made me laugh out loud probably three or four times. I love that you're pointing out the flaws and how to be the solution. You should watch a video. I'll sit through.

I will bear through my own content for you guys. Isn't it hard? The worst. Great job. You did a great job. How many takes do you go through to do that? That one, so realistically, I write a skeleton, and then I, like, play it through in my head as, like, I'm trying to narrate it out and space it out

so I time all the shit. Probably takes about five to ten takes after I've written the script, but the problem is, like, writing the script. Of course. Yeah. It's really good. You did a great job. Oh, man. Did you guys find it yet? I'm looking for it. Yeah, you know...

Do you guys have a link? I do, it's right here. And this is a response or critique of the new Call of Duty trailer? Alright, so to preface this... Breakdown! like they were playing it on a and upload the trailer with no commentary

and then they do like a in-depth 10 minute breakdown video so I literally wanted to beat all the people that would upload the video with a breakdown so I one took a I did a one take of the breakdown just in my basement in my parents house and then just uploaded it took a I did a one take of the breakdown just

in my basement in my parents house and then just uploaded it immediately afterwards and people were like oh I get it like this is you know you're just like kind of hitting things on the nose so then I just did that for the next this is the first one I've done in two years instead of a breakdown you're basically narrating every you're just saying out loud what

you see it's like it's like the call of duty trailer for the blind yes I remember you doing these yeah i remember way back in the day watching these these are good so i need a second to fix the no layout but yeah i was actually kind of worried because my my uh youtube fan base is heavily counter-strike now and they're kind of i've kind of matured with them so like i was making this video like are they gonna be down with like the loud Jericho shit I've ever done with it mocking Call of Duty to some extent there we go Yeah, on mockery, but you know I give it credit where credit's due But it's also like you got to put them in their place like so we're using the same asset files come on

like shit so Working on it, hanging there. Woody, how many cigarette packs did you smoke before this? Right? Infinite. No, I've been sick for like ages, man. I'm better now than I was before, but.

It's getting, it's long past normal illness and well into like Oregon Trail Oregon Trail-style illness. Yeah, dysentery. You caught cold fording the river or whatever happened. I'm going to start calling you a lunger. A lunger? Man, I've been to so many doctors and such.

Like, it's, ah, I'm suffering. Anyway, are we ready to play? Yeah, I'm good to go. Ready, set, play. My name is Jericho, and welcome to a Call of Duty trailer for Ready Breakdown. Are we ready to play? Yeah, I'm good to go ready set play That's a condom. It is. Hm. die to the hands of machine gun because it's the same mission you played the last seven World War two games you might think I'm Mad, but recycling the same content is what Call of Duty does best So I'm lowkey hyped and FREEZE! 2016 was the year of the ass 2017 is year of the guy button

Speaking of repeats unfreeze into the ending of Modern Warfare 2 cut to black screen and then show trees Because the environment is the important thing and so is finding a bathroom for this guy Cut to black so you can say goodbye to your lover as he winks to you before hopping on a tank and rolling into a driver Wait a minute It's bad, I feel one! I mean look, destructible environments! A DLC of a Bell melee weapon! He's fallen down to the ground and- OH TAKE MY-

Oh, you scat! You nearly have a heart attack as you see this and think it's a Nazi jetpack prototype and start having flashbacks when Activision said only cosmetic items and cupboards and Oh fuck! I literally just remembered that the Big Red One is the same unit from Call of Duty 2's Big Red One! You ever punch somebody so hard in hard face that it turns into one Because you couldn't find a rock or a knife it was Long black screen. Tell them what we're all about. We're about those new Yeezy boosters!

We finished the trailer with jump cuts and stuff! Somebody get on the back flip! A slow mo walk through another tank going down with that much camo! Nobody will see the tank sitting there as we end the trailer! First off, it was the fighting first!

I'm not less excited for COD now, thank you! I'm sorry! The actual COD trailer, like, I was hoping there'd be more World War II stuff, but even without, like, gameplay in there, like, I'm pretty excited to get back to a World War II game. I might actually play it now because it's, like, it's going to be refreshing to be in a war and be like, this is a war that happened. This isn't someone in a jetpack, like, moonwalking on buildings because we've got far too deep inland into that, you know,

you literally were fighting in the middle of the fucking space, I didn't touch the last game, Infinite Warfare or whatever, did not play a single second, but, like, yeah, you're in space, like, at some point, I mean, my only qualm is, like, great, now we really are gonna play the same five missions where you're going to, you know, Red Square mission, Storm the Beaches of Normandy mission. There's going to be some, like, UK mission in there. I was like, fuck. I just want them to take some creative liberty with the same story that we've already had.

Just do something different. But if that's my only qualm, like, it's next-gen World War II. I want to see some gristly legs blown off and shit. World at War was super shit world at war this one Maybe in this one the Nazis win So excited I'm being serious like a weird like I don't know what the genre is called we like revised history But like that kind of shit. Yeah, I'm not sure I'm alone stuff where it's like Oh now you're an allied soldier, you know, you know in Berlin, you know

You've lost the war but you're trapped there after it was retaken or something like that. That'd be neat. That is neat. I write all kinds of stories. I was suckered into the business behind it. Like, I never put it together that Tucker made this style of trailer review because you can make it faster. Like, I did a couple of the others. I would take a trailer like like this two minutes long make

a 30 40 minute video out of it stop framing theories like all the little you know frame by frame advances that i would see and um yeah you were able to get this out i'm sure at two hours before me yeah it was two hours two hours after the trailer would go live and the and it would literally hit search results So like I'm looking at my my stuff Usually and we're talking like this is like 2013 2012 these videos are getting My black ops 2 ones like 300,000 views and stuff like that was huge for me I mean even now that'd be big but I mean good number Yeah

It's it's just it And it would also, like... It was enough that people who would just be looking in search results wouldn't be upset they clicked on it. They're like, oh, I get it. Like, this is not me, like, disliking. What the fuck? I was expecting index. I remember the first time you did one of these,

and I watched it. It must have been, like, 2012, 20... Way a long time ago. And watching it, I was just like, God damn it! Like, fuck, this was a good idea like now i can't do this because i mean my video quality i would have finished it way faster than you it would have gone live and then nine minutes later my video would have been there

but man that was such a good idea to do it i still remember looking at that and be like oh fuck i remember tmart i don't know what his voodoo was but he would always dominate the search results he would get more views than the call of duty channel did i remember i was at some event and i was talking to white boy and he was like i don't know what he does like i've gotten more likes than him i i have all the same tags. I have more likes, more comments, and fewer views. Like somehow T-Mart just nailed it. You want to know the secret? As somebody that lived with him, him and Ali-A both figured out the prime way to do tags.

Now, I never was given this glorious information on tags and metadata, but they had it down pat and i know you probably do remember alie went from like a 200 000 sub channel he's literally just this fucking gargantuan thing uh he knows how the algorithm works when it changes whether it's somebody on the inside or whatever but like his pokemon go videos were getting two million views a pop and he was uploading daily like these guys know the algorithm Or how to at least adapt to it. They're really good at it like that's the baby. I'm a you specifically out of course not What's up, and he's like yeah, I'm really good at tags. I'm like okay

Well, I don't like how you tease this really yeah, you kind of came in close Yeah, right enough you want to know. You guys want to know what's up? Then you should probably go ask T-Martin because he fucking knows. The real secret is I don't even know what's up. Yeah, that's how I feel. I mean, it's like, what are your

HD render settings? It's like, yeah, well, I'll let you know later. Seriously, that was the one thing. So you just prioritizing the MP4s over like some other format? Oh, my God. Can you imagine? Kyle, do you remember when I told you I was better at rendering?

He's rendering his shit in a very unique format. It's like MKV and everybody's like, what the fuck? Kyle, do you remember when I told you I was better at rendering? Like my settings were better than yours? Exactly. Like, yo, what's your color correction settings at? Kyle was like, no, I got it dialed in. I'm like, no, no, dude, watch this video.

It's like the answer key. And it was Kyle's video. It was Kyle's video on how he renders stuff. And I click it, and I'm like, god damn, that is good color correction. Oh, yeah, that took me two weeks to do. And then I uploaded this video. He just linked me. And I was like, look at the channel.

Look what you just sent me. This is my video. This was early in our relationship. That's so good. He linked you your own video. I did, I did that. This guy even sounds like you. But yeah, I feel like that was one of my early keys to success.

When I got into the game, most people were on 720p. And a lot of guys were using the Hapage. Some guys were still using that. What was worse than the Hapage? The Dazzle. Is it Hapog or Hapage? I don't know. Whichever one I say is probably wrong.

But I instantly bought the best thing out there. And then when everyone else uses their Posh, I'm on the Black Magic Intensity. I remember asking you about your BMI. Because I was like, not body mass, but your Black Magic Intensity. That's just rude. You said I was really overstepping my bounds at this stage of our friendship. I didn't get it at the time. Now I realize it.

Yeah. But you were one of the first people that didn't get it at the time. Now I realize. Yeah. But like you were one of the first people that did the internals, the internal cap cards and stuff. Yep, yep. And a lot of people were like, oh, you're totally wasting your time with these like better render settings. But for me, it was like, yeah, it does take longer to render, but it's not really human time. So, you know, just let it render all night. And yeah, my videos looked better. longer to render but it's not really human time so you know just let it render all night and yeah my videos looked better oh and i was like everyone thought snowballs were like the peak of audio

yeah and uh right and i'm like breaking out like better audio gear you know like what does rush limbaugh use what does howard stern use i like the way he sounds and um yeah so i had a like a real tech advantage early on, and I felt like that was part of why I did well on YouTube. This is the same reason why you did well on Minecraft servers. You had a real tech advantage. You had a knowledge advantage. You were just like, yeah, I'm a sysadmin.

I know how to – I'm going to just sort all this shit out. It's a little bit unfair because you're like 95, and you had this real-world experience. I'm in college. I can't buy Rush Limbaugh's audio interface. I'm like, Blue Snowball for free? Did you get a free snowball? No, I didn't.

And then they started. Were people sponsored? No, they started their partner program like four years ago. And everybody was already like, really? You know what I mean? Dude, if I made five bucks, the world collapsed on me. Every other YouTuber's giving me shit,

etc. Tucker's like, this is the best iPhone security app that I've ever seen. Everyone should start doing this. I haven't been hacked since I installed this security app on my iPhone. And everyone's like, damn, Tucker, thanks for letting me know about that.

It's like, oh my god. Thank you, Tucker, for looking out for your fans. He really does care. You know, guys, I was thinking about not sharing this with you, but I was laying awake at night thinking, they've got data and they need it. And so

for a nominal fee, you don't even pay it. It's a $20 app, bro. It's a $20 app. And so for a nominal fee, you don't even pay it. They pay it to me. It's a $20 app, bro. It's a $20 app. Yeah. All right. To tie this all in, the guy who owned that app was the marketing director for G Fuel at the time.

Okay. So that was the tie in there. But – I like G Fuel. I know. I like it too. I like I like it too I didn't hear what you said either though the point is yeah yeah I see the thing is that I'm one of them you know I'm also a youngster like you're you're you're preachy you're you're a dad you can't be like son you really need this security app but hip tucker comes in and's like bro no nudes get leaked

on this motherfucker and everybody's like oh hell yeah 20 bucks like the woody approach to it would have been like one of those like contrived videos where you're sitting in your study and then you'd have like jackie in enter quietly with the camera and you'd be like oh i didn't hear you come in but now that you're here we need to have a talk and then you sit down and be like internet security is something you may think i don't know anything about being an old dinosaur but it's something that you need to take seriously i'm gonna explain how and then yeah they would haze me every time i did anything and it wasn't like i was hiding it like like i was pretending you know this wasn't sponsored or something but yeah i'm trying to oh

shucks i made a video where i am i said i liked playing a game on the toilet and that was like obviously jesus went bonkers over that thing i wonder whatever happened to him you know what i don't i yeah that's the first time i've even thought of this man's in like years but the first packs we went to the packs that we met uh together i was on getting on the train home to baltimore the amtrak at mcdonald's and this guy like in a blazer suit like very awkwardly like goes hey man i turn i'm like what's up he goes you're jericho i'm like yes he goes i'm obviously jesus i'm like, oh, what's up? And I go to hug him. He's like, whoa. And I was like, oh,

okay. Sorry, man. Yeah, nice to meet you. I'm at McDonald's and walk away. And that was the only time I've ever talked to that guy. That was like 2010, right? We were supposed to fight at PAX or something. You were? Yeah, dude. Alright, so let me lay this out. You started the fight at PAX team. It lives on to this day. I didn't start it.

I want to explain it. People have this story. So what everybody thinks is that obviously Jesus started attacking my kids, and then I said I want to fight you at PAX. What actually happened was obviously Jesus would attack my kids, like, again and again and again, and I wouldn't reply. I just pretended I was deaf to it. I saw all of it.

People would make sure I saw all of it. My Twitter feed would fill up with, look what he just said. I saw all of it. People would make sure I saw all of it. Look what obviously, my Twitter feed would fill up with look what he just said. And I'd never reply. And then he said he wanted to fight me at PAX. And finally I broke my silence and said, I accept your terms. I'm in. You know, I'm totally down for this.

And I made a video about it, you know, and something like that. Yeah, yeah. I remember this. And, you know, like that, yeah. I remember this. And I got together with Joe Lozon. He said we could use his octagon. And obviously Jesus is like, I'm in. So long as Joe's not fighting, I'm down. Just to interject into your story, I remember a group of us at this time,

Kyle was there too on Skype calls multiple times talking like talking to you being like what do you know? You can't actually fight him like you're gonna end up hurting him and you'll go to jail and you're like I know what I'm doing I'm not gonna hurt him too bad Yes at some point What did you say cuz I I see if you say what I remember. I remember exactly what was said. First of all, the way I remember things going down is like, he popped off something like, yeah, I'd fight him at PAX.

And Woody was like, got him, got him. Yeah, yeah. Fucking, and he can, so Woody has, the man has challenged Woody, and Woody's never going to drop that because now the moral high ground has been established. The bully has challenged me and i accept you know like he has this now and he's just like yeah packs come fight it packs come fight it

packs and woody's like i'm gonna break his fucking arm i'm like you can't break his arm he's like oh i can and i will let me break his arm i remember in head, I was going back and forth on it. Honestly, I don't think I'm being arrogant when I say I could choose my route to victory. You could have literally killed this kid. Yeah. Oh, if I wanted to kill him, that's on the table. If I wanted to break an arm, he was 19. He was my age.

He was 19. Yeah, he was my age, and he's my size. What are you going to take me to town? I'm bigger than Tucker is. Twice. It was not going to be a thing at all. Yeah, I was like, in my head, I'm like, should I choke him out? Right?

Because if you choke a guy out, if you haven't seen that, they do like the funky chicken and stuff as they come through. They have a mild seizure. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, well, that would be very satisfying. Or I could break his arm, right? Because that would be really satisfying, right? What if he was making videos about his broken arm for the next two months? That would be outstanding, right? With the cast and the thumb. Yeah, so I was going through how badly I was...

I started a GoFundMe to fix my tibia yeah so in my in my recollection i was like going back and forth and like it would almost depend on the day how seriously i wanted to hurt this man and and i thought like the dude he's been attacking my kids for a while like the moral and he then he tried to then he said he wanted to beat me up like i can't lose and uh i want to find my video divulge any like did you and him ever talk privately about like yeah i'll see you there i'll be there this like did it ever get to that point or was it all like never private it was all like on twitter and stuff and eventually he said he didn't want to fight me anymore i remember the turning point and he then he changed it from i wanted to fight to like you're really gonna bully somebody with uh asperger's or some shit like that.

He like swapped a victim. He's like, whoa. Look at big man. I remember he said that he told everybody. I'm trying to get this right because it's pretty convoluted. That he and I had secretly orchestrated the entire thing because he had gone on a vacation and on that vacation his car was broken and he spent all his money on a rental car and for some reason that i don't fully understand my part in

this was i was going to help both of us get views by drumming up conflict so that he would get out of this financial problem he accused you of what he did on the regular to make his own channel be anything. Yeah. Which was drum up fucking controversy out of nowhere, which is why he went to that. It's what he's familiar with. It's what he does. But in reality, he'd just been a huge bully and a cocksucker, and you really wanted to injure him badly.

And you probably, if he came out of the woodwork today, right this fucking second, and blew you up on twitter with some out of money down i'd be like let's go if he's if he's like i'm in raleigh north carolina at j and j martial arts bring it what he's like looking for his mouthpiece and you're just hoping that he hasn't spent the last six years getting ready for this. I have been terrible. And he's Saitama from fucking One Punch Man. He's like, the last six years, you know what I've been doing, Woody? A hundred push-ups! A hundred sit-ups! He's like, my name is Saitama, I am One Punch Man.

Woody's like, fuck, I heard about this. I'm not 100% sure, but I think if we watch this video from the timestamp, we'll all be happy we did. Oh my god, this is great. I love how you add Tag Him in the title so everybody who likes the video, he gets a notification on Twitter. This is a thumbnail. This thumbnail is a blast from the past. Right now, round two. Can we hit play together? I hope that I didn't listen to it because it would interrupt the whole flow.

But ready, set, play. It was real. It still is real. I'm more than happy to follow through with it. But I will let you slither away like the wimp you are if that's what you're looking for. Because I'm not going to go chasing down someone who's just running for cover. So there you have it.

Keep watching. Come on, Frank, come on. You insult my girls. You insult my son. I got 99 problems, but this bitch ain't one That whole drama was great For me to watch from the sidelines Because I knew everything

There was to know And I knew what would happen if it went down I knew that it wasn't ever going down I never thought in a million years that he'd be foolish enough to do it. Because the problem was, it had been established that Woody could beat him up. And all of Woody's fans knew that Woody could beat him up. And anybody that knows anything about, like, jiu-jitsu knows that, like, it's just not fair. It's like fighting with cheat codes.

It really is. It's a power. It is as close to what superpowers are going to get as far as it comes to fighting with somebody in the street somewhere, in a hotel room, or at PAX. It just wasn't going to go well. To hammer home how ridiculous the claim was that, oh, Woody did this to help me out

on my French vacation with my car, or whatever it is. His channel was... It wasn't like you had a million subs and he had 200 000 so it was a smaller guy relatively fighting you know with a bigger a big guy at the time a million subs was enormous at the time this guy was like he had like 15 000 subscribers like i don't remember the actual number but it was so small that it was like at the time woody's like i gain your audience every

three days in subscribers like it was because there was a time there and Woody was. Yeah, there was a time. Yeah, Woody was one of them. And it was right at that moment. And so like the whole thing of, oh, this is actually, it was just like classic projection of like he's doing exactly what I am doing right now. It's not the other way around. You know, he clearly saw me and thought I need to get in on that gold mine in that diamond in the rough. clearly saw me and thought i need to get in on that gold mine in that diamond in the rough you know this is where the money's at you know fighting a 19 year old at a gaming convention

i think he thought he was gonna win because like we knew people in the same circles and stuff and and they were telling me about conversations they had they're like you know woody will kill you and he's like nah like that guy's old he's washed washed up. He can't move. And they're like, no, no, no, no, no. This is very lopsided. This won't go your way at all. And it took a couple people telling him that, and then he backed out. Yeah, that's a shame. Yeah, that really is a shame.

Nothing is more pleasing or pleasurable to me than watching someone learn the hard way, whatever that means. But when you watch a human being learn the hard way it's just so fun to watch because a lot of times you're watching from the outside you're like i already knew the shit he's about to learn watch this he's about to learn something and sometimes learning something means your hand gets sucked into a thresher sometimes it means that that's a lifelong lesson yeah you learn that when you don't forget that one because it's always there as a daily reminder that that's stump there and then sometimes you you learn that one. You don't forget that one because it's always there as a daily reminder. That's stomp. And then sometimes you learn by getting your ass beaten severely by somebody you shouldn't have fucked with.

But he – so all of my interactions with him were just watching his videos and reading his tweets. Like I don't know that we ever talked. I did see him at the hotel that week we were supposed to fight at PAX. Like I saw him. But he had said he didn't want to fight, so I didn't push it or anything. I may have stood in his vicinity because I thought it made him uncomfortable, but that's really as far as

I'm concerned. That's the right move because if you had then amped it up and been like, what are you going to do? We're here now. We're here now. We're going to fight. Then you would have become the serious bully. That's a world star. World star hip hop. It ended just right. It's like Woody pushing this guy until he has a panic attack and freaks out. And then they have to bring an ambulance in.

And Woody's standing there scratching the back of his head like, ah! No, I saw him there in his sports jacket. And I knew that he saw me. And maybe I lingered. And that's about as far as I took it. But, you know, keep in mind, this guy would take pictures of his shit and say it was my son. And, you know, like, you son. He deserved what he got. And he is in a Walmart somewhere.

Yeah, oh, but what I was going to say is because those were my only interactions with him, I didn't realize how mentally troubled he was. He was super depressed. I don't use autism as an insult. He's really autistic um like he he just has a his whole world wasn't going well and uh yeah towards the end of that whole debacle of the fight me at pax thing right it really did become more like you feel bad where it was like oh like yeah he did kind of pick a fight with you and you know say some really

hurtful things about your children, but then you see how it all comes around. You're like, well, I'm still sitting here with a really successful YouTube channel, and this is like a little blip on my radar, and he's clearly really struggling through some stuff. So you've got to feel at least somewhat bad. Let's take this moment to talk about Smart Mouth. Oh, let's.

This episode of PKA is brought to you by smart mouth. Bad breath is an embarrassing problem faced by the majority of people on a daily basis. It's caused by naturally occurring oral bacteria consuming protein particles and releasing foul-smelling volatile sulfur compounds. Masking the smell with gum or mint juice-style mouthwash can actually make your breath worse since it can provide a new food source for oral bacteria to produce those sulfur gases. To solve a real problem, you need real science. That's why every bottle of Smart Mouth actually contains two different liquids, a green zinc

activator and a clear oxidizer. The oxidizer instantly eliminates existing bad breath while the activator releases billions of zinc ions that naturally bond to bacteria in your mouth. The bonded zinc ions prevent bacteria bond to bacteria in your mouth. The bonded zinc ions prevent bacteria from eating protein and producing sulfur gas, keeping bad breath from coming back for 12 hours. Go to smartmouth.com and read about the science and how it's able to deliver such an incredible result. Visit smartmouth.com by clicking the link in the description and use coupon code PAINKILLER for free shipping.

Once again, that's smartmouth.com, coupon code PAINKILLER for free shipping. Once again, that's smartmouth.com, coupon code PAINKILLER for free shipping, or pick it up at Walmart, Walgreens, CVS, Target, or Amazon, or your favorite store. I can't talk enough about how awesome Smart Mouth is. It's the perfect mouthwash. For years, I had been scalding the inside of my mouth with those mouthwashes that are sort of a mint juice type thing that's got a lot of alcohol in it.

Alcohol. Yeah, it just dries out the inside of your mouth. It seems like your breath is fresher, but like an hour later, it's bad again. But this really gets to the root of the problem, and it doesn't taste bad. It doesn't burn. It really does the trick.

I'm a big fan. Yeah, it's an awesome product. I use it literally every day, and it actually plays into what we were talking about with the working out and because you're going to be eating a higher protein diet. And if you didn't know that, especially people who do like the whole keto, so no carbs, those people get horrible breath. Ask anyone who's been on the keto diet or really high protein diet for a while and they'll tell you that they wake up in the morning and they just have. Yeah. Or anyone who's dated or wanted to have

sex with them where you're like oh man this girl or guy is in really good shape and you get them in the bedroom and you're like oh fuck like this guy drinks a lot of protein shakes and doesn't take care of his mouth because if you put that much protein in your mouth you're going to smell bad because those germs are going to eat it and make sulfur so can't

recommend it enough check out their website smartmouth.com I'm sure I'm sure Tucker,ucker obviously knows the value of having excellent breath during sex and intimacy i don't have sex often because it's i don't use smart mouth but once i start using smell smart mouth i'm gonna have so much sex you heard it here first jericho doesn't lie so so check it out smartmouthcom. You'll see how it works. Let's talk about Blue Apron. Incredible home cooking. Hell yeah.

Incredible home cooking has never been more attainable thanks to Blue Apron. Because for less than $10 per meal, Blue Apron delivers easy-to-follow seasonal recipes along with pre-portioned ingredients right to your door. No more overspending at restaurants or high-end grocery stores. With Blue Apron, you can prepare delicious, memorable meals yourself in under 40 minutes. And because Blue Apron ships the exact amount of ingredients required, they are reducing food waste. It's delicious, quality food that you can feel good about. Some of the meals in April include the Spinach and Fresh Mozzarella Pizza with Olives, Bell Peppers, and Ricotta Salata, the Parmesan Crusted Chicken

with Creamy Fettuccine and Roasted Bro roasted broccoli check out this week's menu and get your first three meals for free with free shipping by going to blue apron comm slash painkiller you will love how good it feels and tastes to create incredible home-cooked meals with blue apron so don't wait that's blue apron comm slash painkiller blue apron a better way to cook. Check them out. If you're doing meat choices, I recommend the beef, the lamb. Lamb's really good. And the chicken.

The pork is also good, but I've found all my favorite recipes are the beef, lamb, and chicken. So check those out. Blue Apron, expand your palate. I like the lamb burgers a lot. I think that was my favorite thing. But I think there was some orange chicken or something I liked a lot. Check them out. The best part about it is that when you're done, you'll be

really surprised that you made the food because it not only tastes like good high-end food, it looks like it too because a lot of times the ingredients kind of come together in a very colorful way that's pleasing pleasing to the eye and if a third party looks on at what you cooked there and you throw the garbage out so they don't see the blue apron packaging you can pretend like you did this all on your own which is i make a habit of that to me is the cool part like the

like you keep the recipe and if it's something that you want again, you can buy the ingredients, and now it's part of your menu. Yeah, that really is one of the best parts is all the recipes. It's not on some receipt paper. It's on a nice, sturdy, cardboard-ish sleeve. Yeah, I took a three-hole punch and punched holes in those, and I've made a recipe book out of the Blue Apron recipes. I just punched a three-hole punch in all of them and stuck them in a folder. And they're legit recipes it never says like and be sure to buy blue apron brand vinegar or something it's like no just you know do this you got a recipe for life yeah you guys don't pay me but i definitely use blue apron and i fucking love it it's my favorite and it

makes it so easy not to fuck up your own food like i feel good about myself i'm like look i made dinner mom she's like great congrats thank you i've been doing this for 20 years i'm gonna feed myself but like yeah makes it easy are you guys ready for the topic oh yeah sure yeah i'm ready for ready for anything have you ever heard of stealthing? Stealthing? Like a stealth plane? Yeah, so apparently stealthing refers to the practice of sneaky getting

the condom off during sex and then going bareback. You know what this reminds me of? I don't buy that. You know what this reminds me of? What are your kids texting at 12? G2G got two gays. That's what it reminds me of. You know kids texting at 12 g2g got two gays like that's what it reminds you you know where i thought you were going do you remember hearing about rainbow parties

yes because they were the only time i heard about it was my mom's like hey talk to her you you know about these rainbow parties i was like what the fuck like no a rainbow party for people who don't know that the story is that all these girls wear different lipstick and then they give so many blowjobs to so many guys that they have rainbow colored penises by the end of it. At the time that I learned of rainbow parties, I didn't know that like that wouldn't even happen to your dick. You know, that's not a thing. And you know what would happen is a lot of girls would consume a lot of waxy substance that day. Because it's not just gonna

stick. No, no. It's something they're all gonna go at different lengths down your dick. But anyway... Yeah, and you're just like, god damn it! Yeah, yeah, you're just teasing me. Ten minutes! So, uh... But yeah, I was just like, how do I get an invite to these rainbow parties? So I don't know that stealthing is really a thing, but yeah, I was just like, how do I get an invite to these rainbow parties?

So I don't know that stealthing is really a thing, but it's on CBS. I don't know that at all. I don't either. And how dumb. And if stealthing's a thing, let's let natural selection do its job, okay? If you are the type of person that thinks, hell yeah, let me sneak this condom off real quick. Like, have the kid, you know? But isn't that the opposite of person that thinks, hell yeah, let me sneak this condom off real quick, like have the kid. But isn't that the opposite of what natural selection would do?

Like if you're really an idiot, you're going to have more children. You know what? I have a feeling that you're going to have a lot of children by this standard. No, no, Tucker is implying that the child will die quickly because they're not obviously made of the finest cloth. or not. Obviously, made of the finest cloth. I just don't buy it because it's like, if you're having sex with a condom, and then you somehow slyly take it off and then

zip it across the room somewhere, and immediately both of you, well, obviously you will notice because you're the one being tricksy, but she will also go, ah, yeah, there's not latex on your dick anymore. That's just a regular skin dick. You do not know the tricks of the trade, my friend, but she will also go, ah, yeah, there's not latex on your dick anymore. That's just a regular skin dick. You do not know the tricks of the trade, my friend.

So what will be done or what could be done, I have never done this, and I I'm guessing, because I had to pee really bad and I came in a little late on this conversation, that we're talking about that it's being considered a sexual assault to remove a condom when you're not telling. I was actually going to write.

If it's possible. It's possible, but I'm saying that it's not going to be a thing. If you take the condom off and you keep having sex, people are going to notice it's sex without condom. Not true. If you tear the end of the condom off so just your head is exposed... We're not talking about that. We're talking about

somebody who thrusts, pulls it off, and then puts it back in. You're giving yourself a rubber circumcision over there basically exactly a give yourself a rubber circumcision or b you know you start with the base just roll that thing off at some point and and i i really think that in the heat of the moment it wouldn't be noticed according to cbs news and the columbian journal of gender and law this is a movement there are some men who feel like it is their, I want to get the phrasing right, their natural right,

and their natural male right to stealth and slip the condom off and have raw dogs. All right, calling like six assholes a movement isn't a disingenuous thing. Yeah, I was going to say. Where are these protesters? I demand to come inside. Apparently there are online forums

where guys share stealthing techniques begins an ejaculation they're they're online forums where guys share their their techniques and they um they said that none of it worried them it didn't perturb my potential pregnancy my sti that was all my burden i assume there's a woman talking so now that like where it evolved to me pretending that there are guys who do this, like, is this sexual? Like, okay, so it's consensual sex. But when a guy slips the condom off unbeknownst to her. There are parameters, yes.

This is no different, in my personal opinion, than if the guy pulled out of a vagina and stuck it randomly in the ass and continued due to protest. That is also a sexual assault. I see them very kind of similar, right? Like the woman has agreed to vaginal sex with a condom. And if there were three options with a condom, without a condom and get the fuck out, she would have,

only two of those are probably going to work for her with a condom and get the fuck out. So if you have chosen option B with a condom and you're getting to have sex and suddenly you alter the parameters of this deal mid-coitus, you have borderline rape, definitely sexual assault in some way.

You've definitely done something very wrong. I don't know what the word to do to say, like assault or rape or... I mean, I was going to say sexual mischievousness, but that seems a little too low like they it's definitely a yeah assault too that's pretty broad you can throw a bunch of stuff under there but it's definitely i just don't buy the fact that like any i feel like you ask any woman out there like okay when you're having sex and the guy's wearing a

layer of latex around his dick and then he takes that off and you continue having sex do you immediately tell a difference and every girl is going to say yes because girls like sex without condoms way to pull because sex without a condom is better i would i i'm gonna back up taylor on this one i'm i'm pretty certain due to the i mean i've had numerous conversations with quite a few people they're like would you like do you like sex with a condom or do you like sex without a condom it's like well i mean both are fun but this one's good like it's the same shit we know like we like it without it as well but you see i'm not on team taylor with this and the reason why is like early somewhere in my 20s i don't know i broke more than one condom and i was was like, not sure.

She said nothing. We're talking about a difference between breaking a condom with your latex still on and no latex. But it turned into pretty much a cock ring, right? Like the condom broke. It's not like there was a pinhole. Was the condom left inside of her? Like the rest of it? Oh, Jesus.

And you had to fish it out? Well, you never had it probably wasn't torn asunder i call that the gift bag i think i had that yeah at least one of those yeah the condom was in her and um so only way to only way to solve that is with the old et finger maneuver and young woody go shopping i was unsure if it broke like i i was suspicious that it broke and but i was so happy to be having sex that i was too stupid to like stop the whole process and that is reasonable because you're just breaking the condom i'm saying that there is zero percent chance that there are women out there who couldn't tell a difference between

a latex dick and just a regular bareback sex. There was no... It's not on and then off. There's a transitional period of ineffectiveness that she could easily be unaware of because there's a lot of stuff going on. Maybe in my head,

in my head, we're not shredding. It's literally like you're... No, you're just sliding it not shredding. It's literally like you're like... You're not doing it hard enough. No, you're just sliding it off a little bit more and more every thrust and eventually you pop it off and you put it back in. Let's assume that these guys are like the David Copperfield of the

missionary position and they managed to Oh, it's gotta be doggy guaranteed. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would think doggy would be... You can't put on a condom like that. Yeah, doggy would be the best position to pull this off. If they somehow did it, it is definitely assault. Think of the questions a lawyer would ask.

Like, did you agree to sex without a condom? No. Okay, ta-da. You've already knocked half of the battle down. That's it. Yeah. I hear you. Unfortunately, the other half of the battle is

no, nuh-uh. She said I could. Yeah, but she did agree to sex. She just didn't agree to sex without a condom. Look, I'm not claiming it's right. I'm just really not sure where the law stands on it. I feel like you can...

I'm going to right and wrong on this one. I'm putting myself in the girl's position literally and... Amazon position, I follow. It just seems like I would be completely violated if that happened. A condom is the

barrier of safety that we've employed. Not just pregnancy, but the STDs and everything else. And it's also a very personal thing. It's her choice that we're going to be doing things this way. It seems like a sexual assault. It's totally possible she considers you reasonable to have sex with, but not to raise a kid with, right? Right, and it's also totally, is there not,

there's precedent under people who have had sex knowingly with an STD without informing their partner. There's, like, that in itself is, like, a breach of trust thing. I can easily see that being pivoted into somebody who's like, well, you knowingly violated the terms of agreement that you guys set forth, therefore everything after that is null and void, and you endangered them. Like, if you didn't know you had an STD, but you did, you're even, you're fucked. It's illegal. Like, it's an actual crime STD but you did, you're even fucked. It's illegal.

It's an actual crime if you have HIV, if you're HIV positive, to have sex with someone and not disclose that you're HIV positive. Is that all states though? I don't know. That's all states. It should be. It should be a thing. I got to the end of this article on the removing the condom thing, and please

don't take PKA legal advice, for those of you listening. Tell them why they should. It appears there's no legal rule against it. At the end, they wrap it up with, we think we need a new tort that specifically names non-consensual condom removal. That just means that it hasn't been brought in front of the correct court yet. That just means they don't have a legal precedent for that case right yeah exactly it means there's no law against it but but we're talking about right and wrong i'm talking about right and wrong i think every every normal person is on the same side of this and it's like just don't fucking you're already having sex i condom they yeah they say

that the law often falls short you might be be right about there not being a case. But her prediction on this is that the victim doesn't do well. And she's like, you know, just pretend it wasn't just a condom thing, that it was a straight-up rape, right? But the two of you have had, you know, sex a dozen times before. You're in an established relationship. Oh, that doesn't matter. And it doesn't. But typically it's hard to prove

you got raped the 103rd time you had sex together. The president's been set for husbands raping their wives. If she says no, it's a fucking no. You're right, but those victims aren't winning in court according to this article. Oftentimes

they'll be like, what? Your husband raped you after whatever, 25 years of consensual sex? Like, is there something else going on here? Is there more to the story? Like, you know, because... That doesn't sound like the law to me. That doesn't sound like the law I know.

The law I know, the first thing they say is, they go to the woman, what did he do to you? It says here, judges and jurors tend to be less sympathetic to survivors who had a previous sexual relationship with their assailant and that's always going to be the case with stealthing that makes sense though that's we're talking about the jury has a bias if you're talking about somebody who's had like i've been dating this girl for 10 years or five years or you know x amount of time and they've done something to violate my trust i can see a bias being or the jury being a bias or having a bias rather but i

still i i have a hard time believing that the jury would not sit down and be like yeah we can see how this crosses like a verbal contract like isn't that what they're teaching kids nowadays like it's a verbal contract when you both agree sober like that's what you need to do short of signing a fucking paper i i love that like nonsense they teach now or i assume they teach i didn't get taught it where they're like you need affirmative verbal consent every step of the way i got may i touch your breast may i remove your underwear may I Penetrate you or whatever the fuck there you're gonna do and she goes yes sign form 1a Or whatever it is like it's like that

They're trying to push and it's like first of all No one has ever had sex like this and second of all if you go into any sexual encounter with someone you're hot and heavy Heat of the moment and you're the guy and you're like hey can i may i have permission to remove your shirt it's like well now you've we've gone from uh intimate fun evening between two you know consensual individuals to you sound like a serial killer like why are you asking me to remove like individual things and sign these papers like dennis it's just put the lotion on your skin. Is there a clause in here you can cut me up? Like, what the fuck? I'm not reading this. It's making laws that do not work in the real world.

As far as, like, we all had sex. You know what it's like when you're in the moment, and it's never, especially with a new person, an attractive thing to do, to start calling out and narrating everything that's going on. And it's like, this is very transactionary now.

Now it doesn't seem like two people having fun. Now it seems like we're two parties in a transaction. You know what it is? Huh? What'd you say? I said it's like a negotiation. It is a negotiation. But what I'm saying is like,

what they're preaching is not how to have safe intercourse. It's how to protect yourself from fucking lunatics. Like that's what they're going into. They're going like, look, nine out of 10 times you're going to get into a position where you're like, both of us are clearly all in on this. Like Betty's like girlfriend is like, yo, you take good care of her. Like, here's my cell phone. Like, we'll see you tomorrow.

Like, nine times out of ten, they're talking about that one time out of ten where you're like, man, this girl's kind of weird. Or, like, maybe the girl's like, this dude's kind of fucked up. Like, I don't know if we should do this. They're talking about, like, let's position yourself in a way where you're going to not go and say, here's my printout of, like, consent sex. But, like, be sure about it. I think that it's more like the... But there's also like silly stuff like, oh, if anyone's been drinking at all,

then it's nefarious. It's like, no, like that is a line that people drink and then have sex with each other all the time. It's something that humans do. It's like a normal thing. Like obviously being drunk is a gray area. If someone is blackout drunk, then yeah, no shit. Common sense, that's rape. But if people are drinking responsibly...

This is why you need a camera and a tripod set up for every single sexual encounter. Go, Dennis. Tell us more. If there's any questions with the local constabulary later on, well, you just go to your file. You just go to your file. You just go to your file and you show what happened. I mean, this is just a good way... She struggled. No, no, no, no. I think it...

She really wanted it. It's clearly like the negotiating thing where like somebody goes, how much for a day? And you go, let me name two times whatever I'd normally charge. Then they negotiate you back down to like the acceptable amount. Here, teach kids to like the acceptable amount here Teach kids to like fucking get the most absurd consent possible though at least ask for the minimum that like society agrees

I don't think that's what they're gonna do because children tend to do what you tell them and understand that I think what it's going to Do is breed a lot of not breed but create a lot of young men who are? horrified of approaching women because they feel like they're going to be doing it wrong and they're not taking all the precautions. And it's going to create a lot of sexually frustrated girls who are like, holy shit, all of these pussies just beat around the bush and none of them are assertive or confident at all. They're just, will you go to the dance with me? And afterward, may I finger bang you in the back seat of my dad's car and

it's like it's it just seems like it's setting people up to have a very organic conversation that is natural to people between attracted parties about sex and making it transactionary and like a negotiation what if they get really good at negotiating right what if the guys come in

high and they want full on butt sex and she's coming in low with just making out and you meet up somewhere in the middle and they're getting blowies? It's just annoying that nobody talks about you need a sexual closer to come in. He comes in all rough and tough, like smelling of cologne

and slaps his briefcase off, clip, clip, flips it open, like, we're here to make a deal. Can you imagine you're sitting there like, you're like a one blowjob for eight to ten minutes And then we flip it and she's like seven to ten, and then you double it like off My client yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I would like to finish on your face And hit and then he would like to smear it about a bit hold on hold on would that be acceptable Yeah, she says keep it out of her hair.

She says that will not be acceptable as long as Red Robin is the choice of dining. This is not on the contract. It's going to have to be a special moment. Outback or higher. Outback or higher. Like a congressional deposition where you whisper in your counsel's ear. where like they quit that you whisper in your counsels ear my client said Morton's could be on the table were he able to finish on the inside great yeah sexual that's what you got to this new age of yeah I was like this is

kind of a funny video idea a A funny demonetized video idea. A funny video that won't make any money. Yeah, sorry YouTube, you get what you pay for. They try to make stuff like that into math, where it's like, well, you need to get stamp A, then form B, and then this and that. And really, nobody's just honest and says like, or do what people have always done with much success

and read other people's emotions and the way situations body language the way situations are going like just you know how you know how we all do you know how you walk in a room and you immediately see someone and you know i know that person's in a bad mood or i know they're feeling defensive or they're not like you can tell like it's uh i don't know the stat but most of communication at least with you know is nonverbal probably could be could be that could be true who knows I got a thing at least some of the communication what's your it's not verbal I want to segue into this video because so I did get one as well I can't can we do Mike is there's a segue involved. We can do it. I am not. Oh, I feel autistic in this.

In that I'm not sure how to read this situation. I feel like this whole thing is fucked up to me. And I don't know who's right and who's wrong. It's an old video. A lot of people have seen it before. But I don't know who the fuck up is in this thing. So work your way to queuing up at zero and tell me when you're ready. Yeah, I watched a second and I'm not sure what we're getting into here.

I'm at zero. Do you have any death videos? I'm all ready. Ready, set, play. Alright, so we got a girl here in short shorts doing squats and some sort of dances. I don't really want you taking a picture of her butt. Excuse me, old pig. Are you taking a picture of her? In public, in the middle of the street. Are you taking a picture of her? Doing squats and some sort of dances. In public.

In the middle of the street. In the middle of the sidewalk. You have a problem with that? Yes, I do. Why are you doing it in public? I can't videotape? You can't videotape her butt. I can videotape her. Well, try.

Videotape her crotch. Excuse me? You don't have to videotape her crotch. You're the one thinking the sports. I didn't say do that or think that i'm shooting from this angle that's my business i'm in public i'll do whatever the hell i want shut up what the fuck is she working out on the side of the street anyway now that she wants to stare at her crotch you old bag look at that what is she doing why is she doing the

splits with her crotch in the air i'm right what is she doing why is she doing the splits with her crotch in the air don't worry about who the i am i'm right in the middle of your so what the what the don't worry who i am i'm in the middle of your so what the he's about kissing the camera he's on my camera goober get that out of my face don't touch my camera goober all right goober nice outfit outfit, too. HAHAHAHAHA You wish you could work as fuck as hard as I can. What? You're not getting shot!

Right. Ugh, what a cunt. I can see whatever I want. Dude, you just rode over my foot. None of these people taps the two planes for these white knights. Look at him! He's doing close-ups of her ass. Dude, you just rode over my foot. Don't touch me. Don't touch me, dude.

Don't touch me. He fell off his bike, didn't he? At this point, I would want to keep doing it just because this bike guy's getting very upset. Yeah, for sure. Now we're going to step things up a notch. I'm getting my extra lens out, alright? We're going telephobic.

It's almost over. That's an interesting video. Yeah, because, like, okay okay It is hard to be on team Goober right where you're like Oh dude I should totally be Taking close up shots of her crotch On the other hand This woman is in the street in short shorts

Like sticking her ass in the air And at one point I would do it if I could She's standing on one leg She's got the other leg in the air And her ass in the air. And at one point, I would do it if I could. Yeah, she's standing on one leg, she's got the other leg in the air, and her pussy to the crowd, right? In short shorts, but that's what we got going on. Short shorts, yeah.

Yeah. Let me, let me go for it. And so it's hard to be on the voyeur's side, right? On the other hand, oh, you say no, but like, it's hard to be on her side. The cameraman's side. I'm just against the bike guy there's a fucking crowd of people out there watching this lady for some reason do like

calisthenics in the street scantily clad i'm guessing she's taking tips for this performance art she's doing so and they're giving this one guy shit because he's recording it like like first of all old blonde country lady why are you watching this this girl do squats in the street what the fuck is this white knight horse shit no she's a fuck this lady is selling her body she's about three levels above a street whore doing doing squat thrusts in the street like and she's an adult film it of course i'll film it fuck you fuck you and i'm an adult who knows exactly what she's doing. That's why I'm here. I'm here for the capital. I'm all about it. She wants the attention. Like you don't work out like that on the side of on a busy intersection corner of a sidewalk in what I think is a large city there, obviously, because there's a lot of foot traffic going by.

It's not like she's on a lonesome country road and there's some dude perving. Like it's some dude perving in a very, very busy. Yeah, there's a chair that she's working on. First of all, she's taking up space on the sidewalk. Bitch move. And another thing, you want the attention. You wouldn't be out there doing it if you didn't. You don't do, like, I can understand if you're at one of your classes and there's some pervert like into the window at Curves or whatever and you're like, what a fucking pig asshole.

But this is, people are trying to walk across the street if she was in that same outfit but doing her morning jog then I think it would be appropriate to send me watch her go by but you can't follow her with a camera but given that like she's

really you can't chase women with cameras can I walk behind her? This whole shit comes down to social acceptance. What if I want to document her? Wait, I want to hear what Tucker had to say there. I was going to say, this whole argument, like, by the lay of the law, he's in the right,

the guy videotaping. It's all social. It's like a social argument. Is it acceptable to videotape somebody when everybody there is like oh what is this person doing she's definitely doing something that's outside of the normal realm of somebody on a sidewalk right is it slightly socially weird yes like the dude reacted in a way if i if you would have just moved to the other side of her and people still gave him

shit i've been like fuck off like seriously. He just moved his angle. It's different. There's just a lot of unknowns here. I just think that it's a very weird situation where nobody's in the wrong. The people that are watching it that are chastising him, he's being fucking creepy. He is. This is one step above a wet t-shirt

contest. Yes, but this one is like a covertly veiled attempt to vilify. He ain't hiding that shit. You didn't, but this one is like a covertly veiled attempt to vilify. He ain't hiding that shit. You didn't see. It wasn't like one of those like Pornhub videos where like you see the camera, but it's clearly like in a tissue box or something.

It's like there's like a lot of cloth between the camera and the girl's shirt. There's some scenarios where I feel like we're all supposed to pretend that this sexy thing isn't happening i mentioned before we were doing that unc college tour and there was a girl dressed kind of like her maybe even hotter on the treadmill and and just everyone just universally agreed to pretend that there wasn't a fucking dime exercising right next to us i don't do what

what if it's like cheerleaders right? You're not supposed to go up and film their crotches. You're not supposed to notice this is pretty much a striptease show going on by the football game, right? Yes. And heaven forbid they're high school cheerleaders, and they're freaking showing their panties with their

high kicks. Everyone agrees there's nothing going on here. Just for some reason. don't mean bloomers but that's what i'm saying it's a social bloomers are panties they're totally i'm not i'm not gonna argue like it's correct or it's okay to it's freaking weird and we all agree it's not for some reason i don't know why no it's more like all right i i'm i a weird, like, I just don't give a shit enough. Like, I don't care enough to do any, to put any effort into maybe changing, like, the social construct about, like, allowing somebody to do their flexible routine in public on a street for tips. I also am not the type of person to go into a strip club and be like, you don't need to do this, ladies.

You can do better like it it's too much effort in my opinion to go out and fucking i know this is super dark but just like i don't care enough about that situation the dude filming it could have done 10 things to film it quietly and going home and done whatever he wants with that video if that was his intention just like the people there could have just been like that guy's fucking weird and not done anything to escalate it everybody in that situation escalated it especially if she can do that in public he can film it anything you can do in public i can film and and i bet these same like flaming assholes if it were a cop over there doing an arrest and and this guy was filming and the cop got up and he'd be like he he can record whatever he wants. He can record whatever he wants.

Kyle, if there's somebody literally – let's say there's somebody just standing on the sidewalk. You walk up and you just zoom in on their ass and you're just filming their ass. Like, you can do that. It doesn't mean it's not weird or, like, okay and, like, everything. I mean – It would definitely be out of the norm but there's nothing illegal about it i'm not saying it's yeah if we're i'm not talking about cut of the law i'm talking about like the social law he's in the right a hundred percent i'm talking about this side none of us

are debating what's legal we're debating yeah what's acceptable okay yeah and that's where i came in and and i think the fact that everyone's on – not everyone agreed on this. And it makes me feel better because I'm in the dark on it. I'm like, so this guy's not breaking anything. She was acting – she stuck her ass in her puss in public. She was performing. It's a sexy performance, right? She's dressed in an attractive outfit.

She's an attractive girl. We all know what the scoop is, right? You just look at her ass and think, well, isn't that a piece of work? She's dancing. She's shaking her ass. She's putting her hands on the table and bending over at this point in the video. I'm just watching it again. She's literally bending over for

people to see. There's no reason for her to be doing this. She's standing there bending over for people to look at. These people have an her to be doing this. She's standing there bending over for people to look at. And these people have an issue that he's recording. What if we change the situation? Say this girl's not wearing booty shorts and she's wearing

pants. Like, sweatpants. Does that change the weirdness of the guy filming? Does that change the acceptableness of her doing that in public because like that's i i feel like this is like on both ends like she is nothing bothers me i it neither one bothers me like she can do whatever the fuck she wants and like yes is she attractive sure do i care if she's doing that there in public no this guy filming i think

personally he's weird but like i'm also gonna look at the same shit he is i'm i support his weirdness i support his weirdness fully and i'm fine with it and i'm kind of glad he did it now i get to look at her ass that dirty whore who dances in the street for dollars that's what she is i don't know why we're putting her on this pedestal because she's pretty because she's a whore in the street for dollars. She's a pretty whore in the street for dollars. I'm trying to knock it down, though, from what it is to the most far-reaching general sense. If there was somebody in a onesie, the least sexual outfit possible, doing this routine. Does it have the unbuttonable bottom?

No, no. This shit is zipper on the front only and then you've got like sergeant neckbeard who's filming this arguably um like just not like a lump of a human doing this like who is anybody gonna have an issue with it are the people that are watching this having an issue with it because they acknowledge she's dressed provocatively are the people in this situation weirded just because he's filming like what's like where's the holdup here? Everybody is at fault here. If I wanted to make it weirder, I wouldn't change her outfit.

I'd change her, like... I'd make her change locations, right? Because she's clearly some sort of street performer or something. She is. She brought a prop. It wasn't a chair, exactly, I don't think. It was a chair. Was it a chair? A chair without a back. Yeah, it was like a stool. Yeah, I was going to

call it like a drywall scaffolding. Like the thing that they just carry around. But anyway, so yeah, she brought some sort of apparatus where she could bend over and lean on it and stuff. Let's say she was just a regular person, right? You know, she's an ad executive

by day and she jogs before work, right? So she's just as hot and she's also not wearing a ton because female joggers don't wear like a sports bra and some short shorts. That's like a female joggers outfit. I think if you're filming her and she just sort of was going about her business, then it gets way creepier. Like that's where, that's how I make it creepy. I make her from a performer to a regular person.

I'm a... I don't think you can film anything you want. I think that should just be a blanket thing. I don't look down on any of the filming in public, is what I'm saying. I have no moral objections to any kind of public filming. I bet Kyle will still be okay with it. Let's hear it, Tucker.

Okay, Kyle. You're hanging out in your house right now. I bet Kyle will still be okay with it. Let's hear it, Tucker. Okay, okay. Kyle, you're hanging out in your house right now. I have a drone, and I know you have private land, so there's some sort of absurd private land clause here, but you're in a city apartment. I have a telescopic lens, and I am zoomed into your

apartment, and I am filming you. Yeah, man, that's just cool. That's just fine. I've looked at all the celebrity photos that involve the telephoto lenses and it's like, look, look, it's the outside world. If they can take the picture from a thousand meters, they just can. You can't start taking that for, it's like flag burning. I don't want it to be, but it has to be. But it is. So it's, yeah. Then that's, then I'm all for that. Like if that's your opinion, and I agree with that,. If you're in a position where you can be recorded, it is your job.

If you make a law like that, you know who the first person to start knocking people the fuck out with that law? Donald Trump. He doesn't want that. Oh, you took an unflattering picture of me on my fucking golf course? You're in the gulag, bro. No, pictures anywhere you want in public, anytime, all the time. I'm fully for that. I'm just saying from me watching this video, I would see the situation, these people arguing. I would not step in either way.

I'd just walk around like this is such effort. I'd start filming the chick too maybe because I immediately feel like the guy is the one. Oh, you just want to piss off the other, the bike dudes. Yeah, I invite your white knight bullshit. That was absurd. I would start talking about the camera modes I have. I got a new phone. I got the Galaxy S7, and I really like it.

It's the Edge. I've had that. The screen rolls over the side. That was the thing I found. Is the S8 out? I know it's pretty late. It is. But you didn't want that one.

The S7. I didn't. I didn't see a huge bit of difference, and this is like several hundred dollars cheaper, and my other phone was just fucked. You made the right choice, Kyle. So I would just be – all the camera modes, all the ways I can look at the camel toe. I can make gifs of the fly. I can do three-dimensional camel toe images.

It has this feature where you record a picture and do a 360 around an object you create this three-dimensional render of it on the fly that you can then go back to and turn around and look from it look at from any angle i can do that to your camel toe you know kyle did you did you 12 angry men this situation and get everybody on our team i i went i went to my my flag burning comparison. I think that worked. I mean, I think we're all on the same page here. Or at least I feel like my takeaway is everybody could have done something to make this situation incredibly not awkward.

Like every single person in this situation could have taken one easy step to not make this an issue. And what it would be is every one of them walking up to that woman working out on a street corner and going, is there someone else who could do this? Could you go home or do it at a gym? Because people are trying to walk. This bicyclist is falling over himself to White Knight for you.

Literally, this is that one time I want a fat person to show up and tell the skinny chick that she's fat shaming her by being skinny in the street or something. I want a fat person to show up and tell the skinny chick that she's like Fat shaming her by like being skinny in the street or something. I want I want like the battle of bullshit social warriors How am I supposed to be okay with eating my foot long? spicy meatball You're over here working out Breath breaks sweat

That's what uh, that's fucking H. Sweating. That's what Huel breathes like. That's what he would do. We're back to Huel. And we're back to Huel. That's what we do think. We tie things up. Did you have something to go to, Kyle?

I was going to say I ordered a t-shirt this week and I really like it. I think I'm going to wash it to make it shrink, though. Oh, Brain. This bitch don't know about Pangea. This bitch don't know about Pangea? What is... Wait, you don't know Lil Dicky?

No, they don't like it. No, I like his music. I just haven't watched the most recent one yet. Pillow Talking. It's an 11-minute song of him after sex talking to a girl who he has significant differences with, but it's a very good creative video. The song Outstanding as well, where he goes... The special effects.

Yeah, talking about the effects of war, veganism, the history of the Earth, God, religion. But it's like what you'd expect somebody who's a little too confrontational after sex talking about. It's a great video. You should watch it. The reason I connected to it with it so much is it felt like such you'd expect somebody who's like a little too confrontational after sex talking about it's a great video You should I felt the reason I connected to it with it so much is it felt like such a real-life scenario that happens nowadays Where you like you hook up with somebody from tinder or whatever and then after sex there? There's this conversation where we're just right now we get to know each other and you realize like god damn it

We really don't mess up. Maybe I don't like it because in my day you got to know each other before six i think that's it that is literally the problem like i don't like it was like the thing that hit home was like there was a all right so they're candid there was a a person that i hung out with came back we wake up in the morning and i'm like so you want to go grab food and they're like yeah sure and there's this bomb cafe right next to me so i'm like let's go walk grab some breakfast we get there there there's like waffles and shit and i can get bacon pancakes and she's like you can't get bacon i was like excuse you you can't tell me what i want like i love bacon she's like no no no you don't understand like this is so inhumane and here's all the reasons why i was like i was like

this is coming after all of the things that i wanted like all of the things that i thought were good happened and then we sat here and i'm like let's get to know each other better and you drop this bombshell on me and you're gonna tell me the man that you met 24 hours ago i can't have my joy in life it's bacon bitch we go hard on earth i was so yeah bitch i was so triggered I was like okay I won't get the bacon pancakes for the sake of ending this and I'm never going to call you again That's a super

super annoying trait and that person would be imagine someone who's that comfortable being an annoying contentious prick right after you have sex the first time, your first meal together and the first thing you order, the most common breakfast item isn't good enough.

Bacon and breakfast! She's like, no. Can I talk about bacon for a minute? Imagine living with that woman. And that's why I'm not dating her. I've been eating a lot of bacon lately, and I never really cared for it before because I didn't know how to make it.

And I've had epic mealtime over at my house before, and I've been with them. They made their bacon. And I don't think they know how to make bacon either. They don't. The way you – you've got to bake your bacon. I put it in a pan at like 400 degrees for like, I don't know, between 15 and 20 minutes. And I flip it halfway through. It's so goddamn good.

It's the best pan fry that shit. Last night, I broke out the brown sugar i fucking i fucking put brown sugar on the bacon and flipped it after seven minutes and more brown sugar on the other side i i ate a whole pack of bacon um i ate the whole pack of bacon but by the time the night was over i mean i mean somebody else ate a little more of it but i ate the majority of an entire pack of bacon i don't know it's a pound it was goddamn good kyle next time you're gonna dribble i'm sorry you're gonna drizzle some honey on the last three minutes of baking on one side and it's gonna bake that honey to a nice crunchy crisp

ah swear to my life like the brown sugar and honey you're done like your game is over you're fat it's it's it's it's amazing it's it's the best thing i may have ever eaten i was real happy with it it's so hard to open bacon and then put some back you're like there's only 10 slices in here and i just made five and am i gonna put five back no i'll just eat another five it's fine like i'll refrigerate it and eat it for dinner like i just it's gotta be today i have I'm like bacon delusional sometimes where I'll make five slices and then eat them and then

sit down for a bit and be like see you just needed five and then 20 minutes later I'm in some fever dream over there at the oven putting them back in or putting them in the skillet and it's like well I guess the decision is made you know when you're making bad decisions with eating and so you almost like try and turn your brain off so it's like I know I shouldn't go get those Cheez You know when you're making bad decisions with eating? Yes. And so you almost

try and turn your brain off. So it's like, I know I shouldn't go get those Cheez-Its. I know I shouldn't go get those Cheez-Its. And then it's like, but if I just happen to stand up and wander aimlessly while thinking about something else and I arrive back in my seat. Oh, Battlestar Galactica wasn't as good toward the old season. Lord of the Rings. What a great movie. I need to rewatch it.

And that's how you do it. And before know it you're like all right i'm a third of the way through this box it's fine taylor you're fine just go put it back and it's like well you're not going to eat a third of a box you brought the whole thing over like and then the shittiest eating decision i make is a cereal uh i like to eat cereal a lot i love cereal and the worst cereals i like coco krispies a lot um because it makes it leaves chocolate milk when you're done so it's like two snacks in one yeah it is i no longer use a normal people bowl all right i'm gonna admit i i now use a bowl that is mixing first it's meant to be a dip cauldron this bowl has legs on the bottom of the bowl are legs and it will sit in the middle of my bed i can sit it on my mattress.

It's big. It looks like I just won the Wizarding Cup. It looks like Harry Potter. Is it like one of those Baroque bathtubs? Yeah, it's so fucking big, and it's plastic. It's plastic. So it holds like a quarter of a box of cereal, like a quarter pound of cereal and like a quart of milk, and I'm just in there eating until the cereal dissolves almost, and then I turn it

up like some sort of medieval guy after a meal and just drink all the milk. All that delicious chocolatey milk, Morty. I get it all. I get it all, Morty. Nine years, Morty. Nine seasons. You're going to put it way up inside your ass, Morty. I don't know, Rick.

Have you played the VR Rick and Morty game yet? You were linking stuff about that the other day. Have you played it yet, Kyle? No, I haven't. I don't have space in my new apartment to set it up, but it's a travesty because I watched 10 minutes of it, and I was like, fuck, this is outstanding. And he didn't even do the first bit. He was just

digging around in the garage, and some items have prompts that are just outstanding, and I'm like, fuck. I need to go set that up. It looks that good. I'm going to set my... Right now, I've got it in this room, which isn't that big, but I'm going to put it in the room out there this week. Everybody keeps

telling me to play it, and I keep meaning to come down here and download it and play and everything, but I haven't been able to. I really want to play it. Yeah, they did a good job from what I can see. Yeah, everybody's saying it's really good. I saw the content that people are making is getting tons and tons of views. Of course.

It's a perfect mixture of things. Oh, I'll wait until Woody comes back. Remind me to talk about Archer, because I'm not sure if he's even aware that the new season of Archer is out. Wait, there's a new season of Archer? Those motherfuckers don't advertise, right?

There's three or four episodes out. This is the last season, right? I suppose so. I do not like this season. I won't spoil anything, because it seems that none of you watched it. Can you give the framework? No, no, no. I don't even want to give the framework.

If you give me words, it'll spoil it. I want you to explain in the most vague senses, like comedic senses. Like maybe they don't time the jokes well. Like is there specifics that make the season not that great? Or is it just just the general setting? The writing has been on the decline for several seasons now. It has? Just back to the seasons, and just to use this barometer, jokes per minute.

Just break that down. If you did that in a graph, it's way off as time goes by. Those lines are doing this. It seems like it early on it was rapid fire it was almost like i was listening to little dicky song duh earlier and every line is a joke every line is a reference or a joke or it spins back and meets itself that's how archer dialogue used to be it was it was snappy and snippy and it was and you were just like, your mind

almost couldn't keep up with it the same way my mind can hardly keep up with Little Dicky when he's going through those things because it has to process each reference at the present time. That's what makes it impressive. You're like, oh, these tag-ins, these tie-ins. And they do not do that anymore, I don't think.

Kyle, you're killing me! And not to be a spoiler or anything, but they started out as an international spy agency with ISIS, and then it became cocaine and vice, and then last year they were FIGUS, private investigative, whatever, in L.A. They have went so far off into a different thing now that it's just, I don't know, it's bizarre to me. Does it feel like it's barely the same show?

It absolutely does. That's a really good way to describe it, as barely the same show. All the same characters are there, but they're not agents anymore. When they did that transition to the vice, like Archer Vice, even then I was like, I get the pivot. I get you've run out this idea, and also you cannot have ISIS as your name. But that pivot, I was like, fuck. You can do all you can, but it's still not going to be the same show. And so the fact that you told me it's pivot even

further i'm like oh no was vice the cocaine season vice was the cocaine one that was the one i hated i did not like that at all i got so tired of every single because like you were saying like the joke per minute thing going down like early in the series it seemed like there were a lot of unique original ones and they'd have callback jokes of course but by halfway through the season with the cocaine stuff it was just every other joke was oh pam's a coke head and she's lost so much weight how funny is that how funny did we mention did we mention that they're not using the cocaine they were the way they were meant to use it and they're doing other things they're not they're not uh doing what the cia said yeah and like it was just like this isn't i don't know the season is when I noticed the market decline.

That was when it went from a 10 to an eight to me. Like it was still very far above acceptable. Like I was still involved, but I was like, definitely a quality hit here. What season is the one where they're walking through the swamp to, to protect that oil thing? And he's like,

I just walked through a mile of my biggest fears, Lana. Crocodiles, alligators. What's the third one? Brain aneurysm. It can strike anywhere. The silent killer gets you at any time. The silent killer. Woody, we're talking about the fact

that the eighth season is out and no one knew it but me, it seems. And I only knew it like six days ago or something like that they don't advertise for shit right all of it out no three ep i've seen three episodes before i i don't know what night it airs off the top of my head but it's possible that a new episode came out yesterday or the day or today and i don't know of it i've seen three um and what we're talking about is i don't like it i don't like it at all i you know what i don't like i feel like segwaying here but have you guys seen better call saul have not i have not yet i hope it doesn't

suck i really like the first two seasons and maybe the third hasn't even changed but i'm just getting irritated at it there'll be like 15 minutes of no dialogue instead just beautiful artistic camera shots of like sneakers hanging from a electrical wire or like you know i don't know like we're gonna film this one in the side view mirror of a car so everyone will watch the scene framed in this mirror we're gonna view this one on the reflection of a trunk and and you know like oh my god like you're describing that perfectly because just the way you just described it i remembered from last season the way they do better call saul where it's like you know saul will be walking in or whatever and it's not just like they turn everything into like a scorsese shot where it's like he could just walk in there

and start talking to him but no no it's gonna follow you from his house glumly looking as he's brushing his teeth and then like a bunch of how many fucking new mexico license plates can i look at i don't care like as those go off into the distance and like yeah i don't know and there's one character the bald like bodyguard street smart guy his name is mike he has like no dialogue i like the character like i'm I want to be a fan of this show. But when 18 minutes goes by and he hasn't spoken a word and he's just disassembling a car and you're watching all these shots through an exhaust pipe. Like a lug nut?

Yeah. Literally, he's cleaning the exhaust pipe. He's poking around in it. And then you watch him work through the... Obviously, they set up a camera on the other side of the exhaust pipe and that poking around in it and then you watch him work like through the through like obviously they set up a camera on the other side of the exhaust pipe and that's framing the scene and you're just like oh my god like just say something like describe this and move on like you're killing me here and and it's just it's very easy to so many artistic interesting shots

sometimes too like they're good like those long continuous ones but it's they they there's a fine line between doing that well and just kind of blowing yourself and being like oh this is this is a better scene because i filmed it you know through the peephole of the hotel room with a weird warped fisheye lens instead of just showing them do their thing breaking bad i was like dude if you look carefully you can see stuff in the reflection of the car and it's framed and it's obviously intentional like they did a cool thing here but better call saul oh my god you watch the whole goddamn thing off the reflection of a car door handle it's just it's irritating me like i like that kind of stuff when it's almost like peppered in where you're like oh Oh, I noticed that right there like I most people might have might not have noticed that reflection of the window showing the

Barn silo or whatever the fuck and what that might show but then there's the way that they do it sometimes which is just Ham-handedly beating you over the head with it. It's like did you notice we're filming in the rearview mirror Do you think it be to be because the character isn't moving forward in his life and he's moving backwards yeah yeah we got it like we waited 24 days for a sunset like this one oh my god i don't care i don't care about your sunset it's not essential to the story i get it it's pretty this doesn't have to do with that show but i was watching uh i like to watch bad horror movies on Netflix, just to watch them. Nothing wrong with zombie beavers. Oh, I like zombie beavers.

I get such a kick out of bad exposition in movies. That's my favorite thing in movies, is watching bad exposition, where it'll be like two people walking in the woods, and at the beginning of the movie, it's like two sisters or two girls, and they'll be like, how much longer of a walk do you think until we get to grandpa's old cabin

it's like I don't know sis I mean last time we were out here we lost our dog Roscoe I remember Roscoe man the times we had and it's like if you think that's bad wait till you get to one punch man the bad guy will show up and he'll be like

I am very angry because I ate too much crab and I became a crab man. And a little boy made fun of me. Like they'll literally do that. I can tell you didn't make that up. The guy shows up and, yeah, how could you make that shit up? The guy shows up and he's like, good thing I stole this power suit that make me very strong. It's like, all alright, thank you for introducing

yourself as a character, naming yourself out loud, introducing your merry band of friends, and telling us where you got that fun suit. It's like the funniest, most, but that's what they're making fun of. They're beating you over the head for it, and you're like, thank you for doing this so we can get this fight over with.

Okay, there it is. Thanks. Let me do an advertisement. Woody, do you have your little tidbit prepared I do okay do it I end with it right yes you end with it your pause has me very confused like I'm supposed to be doing something what are you ready yes I'm just making sure. Alright, here we go. Dell Gaming creates machines to make every experience more intense and real. From powerful Dell Gaming PCs

with Intel Core processors to the ultimate Alienware VR-ready experience, there's a PC designed to bring your best game at every level. Because the best feature of a gaming machine is the power to make you forget it's there. Don't just play, game. Visit dell.com slash gaming to learn more that's dell.com slash gaming nailed it yeah ah up in the production quality on this every time yeah i i it's cool to see the uh

the comments and people are like yeah i just bought just bought a Dell Gaming PC. I was in the market for one and this will be my selection. Our audience has received them well. We're happy about that. That's good. And now just a bit from ProFlowers. Moms love fresh flowers and ProFlowers makes it easy to send the perfect Mother's Day gift with this huge bouquet. Don't forget all of the moms in your life,

mom, grandma, wife, and other mother figures. This Mother's Day, when you send the 100 Blooms for Mom bouquet from ProFlowers this Mother's Day, you will make a real impression. It comes with a free glass vase for just $19.99, plus shipping and handling. If you really want

to make a statement, you can upgrade to a premium vase and include gourmet chocolates for just $10.04. I'm not even kidding, mine came with the gourmet chocolates. It's their own brand of chocolate. ProFlowers has their own brand of chocolate that they make. It was delicious. It was worth the $10.00. If I could buy it separately for $10.00, I would. It was really good chocolate. You can choose the delivery date you want, and ProFlowers are guaranteed to arrive fresh and beautiful and stay that way for at least seven days or your money back. The only way

to get 100 Blooms for Mom with a free glass vase starting at $19.99 is to visit ProFlowers.com. Click on the microphone in the top right corner and use our code PKA. That's ProFlowers.com code PKA when you click on the mic. This stunning bouquet sells out fast, so order today.

Take care of all your mother figures. Yeah. All of your mother. Woody, who's your favorite alternate mother figure? My favorite alternate mother figure? Alternate mother. I think I'm going to go with my sister-in-law. I don't know.

Dad's got to be in those rankings somewhere, right? I was really like, old mom. Like mom, yeah, uncle mom I was really like, old mom. Like, uncle mom, you know? Something like that. Well, it's perfect for all the women in your life, because chances are they will all like to be surprised with flowers and chocolate.

It's a pretty safe bet. Yeah, absolutely. Hey, do you want to see something vicious? I linked something vicious there from last night. Oh, you want to get to yours? We can watch your KO first, then we'll do mine. I linked you this KO weeks ago.

This is great. All right, let's take a look. I'm so excited. Can you give a little backstory on the KO? Okay, so... I'm sorry. No, I think you could do it better apparently there is a kind of combat that takes place in a in a cage that is medieval

style combat um it's it's full metal armor shields and swords and helmets and these guys seem to play by kind of mma rules and it gets rougher than you think apparently. I think what we're about to see is pretty rare in that sport. The freeze frame right off the start, the first thumbnail that I have paused at zero, is two gentlemen in full medieval looking regalia. They even have different little emblems on the side

of their helmets like Game of Thrones-y. They've got the chainmail mace in front of their face holding the swords with the grips on it and the circular shield. These people people are not here to around they fully look like they are they intend to are you guys ready for this watch this yes i want to bet money on this ready set play i don't have the sword oh hit it look at that dead it He hit him in the head with the sword with his overhand right, and then a shield to the left. Oh, he punched him with this wooden... God damn.

Look at his helmet! The helmet has several dents at this point. These guys are beating the shit out of each other. Very small crowd for what's at stake. Really though. Very small crowd for what's at stake. Really though. Oh my god. That guy just took one right to the back of the leg. And obviously these aren't like razor sharp swords or anything but a big piece of metal. Taylor, it hasn't started yet.

Oh the wrestling. The green knight is taking down. Cyclone. Oh my god he's punching down. Cyclone. Oh my god. He's punching him. Oh shit. He doesn't get up. Alright, so he just

punched that guy ten times in the side of the head. With his shield. It's like a goalie's blocker. Yo, he got the shit. Look at this setting. I'd get drunk and watch this any day! With a crown. And a flowing robe and shit.

Like, they're in the middle of the hills in Scotland, just beating the shit out of each other. Yes! That's what the ancestors did. That dude is not even gonna have a cool story to tell. Where they're like, why is the left side of your face paralyzed? It's like, well, I was very into medieval ring fighting. Very briefly. That career was cut short.

Have you heard of Arthur from Edinburgh? And they're like, no. The author of Edinburgh? My helmet was bashed upon my head. I'm just looking. The guy on the ground was holding the other person's shield for dear life. He knew the move he had to defend against. And it didn't work out.

Yeah. I'm just looking at it. After the takedown, he's holding that shield. First he puts it behind his back, and then he's just grabbing his arm. And then he gets free. Am I the only one who wants to do this now? Like, not versus him, the other, perhaps, or another amateur? Um, I would rather do the kind where you just have foam swords. Oh, you want to go back to the pool noodles in Walmart?

Yes! I want that fucking sword and shield and helmet. I want to dent somebody in that. I'd love to get hit. Ah, I bet it feels great. Volunteer. I bet to dent somebody in that. I'd love to get hit. I bet it feels great. I volunteer. I bet it doesn't feel great. It feels good. It's a satisfying pain. I bet.

You're improving yourself. Sometimes you get hit and it feels good. It's like, yeah, I'm really in it now. That would be great. That would be fucking great. We used to have all kinds of sword fights. I was always fascinated with sword fights. I watched Princess Bride repeatedly as a kid. And Inigo Montoya just fascinated me. This guy who trained his whole life to be good at one thing.

In his quest for vengeance, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. You have to die. It's great. And so we'd always have sword fights with PVC or sticks. We'd make our own swords. And then we'd start putting hand guards on them. And there would be a technology race and swords that were so powerful yeah it was it was a lot of fun yeah there was always like a an echelon of kid weapons where it

got out of control where it'd be like all right we're gonna because i did this my friends too it's very normal i think for young boys where it's like all right we all got our standards uh stick scimitars to beat each other with and then someone has to be like actually i'm a forest pikeman and it's like damn it well now we all have to amp this up a bit uh now i've got a bow and arrow and it just shoots sticks not that hard you know and we made those it wasn't that hard to make a bow and arrow that shot sticks like not that hard it's like all right but i made a bow and arrow as well and actually if you that hard. It's like, all right, but I made a bow and arrow as well. And actually, if you add a small rock to the end, rounded, rounded rock, so our parents would be fine with it.

Rounded rock at the end, it goes much straighter. And then at the end, just like all arms races, in the end, you just have to have a discussion and be like, guys, we're getting way too fucking hurt. I have an AR-15 assault rifle. I will take no prisoners. We're going back to sticks and small rocks.

Oh, that was so much. Think of a time where, I don't know if you, sounds like you did too, Kyle, where you would just go out in the woods and spend hours and shit just like playing around, making weapons. I obviously was into like the fantasy Lord of the Rings kind of shit, pretending out there, like fighting friends.

Oh, fuck it. I loved that shit. It's hard to remember a time like I had more fun. That's where my story with the Five Alarm Fire comes from, when we try to light that smoke bomb. Yeah, yeah. We would go in the woods

and play paintball a lot. I had paintball guns when I was 12, and my dad was like, why would anyone buy one paintball gun when clearly you need a set of paintball guns lot. I had paintball guns when I was 12, and my dad was like, why would anyone buy one paintball gun when clearly you need a set of paintball guns to play that's like buying one skate or a baseball without the glove? You need two guns, or you can't play with anybody. It's target practice

then, and the whole point is to shoot at somebody and have a battle. We had those little pump ones. We had like six of those. You're thinking like a warrior and not a bully. Yeah, exactly. If you think like a bully then one gun is is the perfect amount ah i remember i remember shooting cows with a paintball gun on my grandpa's farm yeah and i remember i was with my friend we were both like maybe 10 and we had those you know shitty like pump uh paintball guns the talon yeah we had a couple of know, shitty, like, pump paintball guns. The Talon.

Yeah, we had a couple of those cheap-ass Tal took us like eight nine shots from like 40 feet to realize like this thing doesn't even know we're there like it it's not even registering these paintballs as a feeling much less oh my goodness i just thought it was fun to paint the cows all orange and i'd ride around on the four-wheeler and you know drive by shoot them with the paintball gun also with a with a potato gun i put my potato gun on the front of the four-wheeler and drive by, shoot them with the paintball gun. Also with a potato gun. I put my potato gun on the front of the four-wheeler and mounted it with duct tape so I could swivel it and fire it one-handed and stuff. And I'd ride around and shoot the cows with a potato gun. And to them, that's like – potato gun's a little bigger.

But for like a paintball gun to a cow, that's like if somebody did a drive-by to you where they just threw a handful of uncooked rice at you. You're like, oh, oh no. You just bounce right off. They didn't seem to care. It seems like cows would still not like paintball. They don't like it, but they don't hate it. They hate it a lot less than a shotgun. We're not talking about gas

powered, like a heavy gas powered, like whatever the fucking rating was for uh it was the same no it was the same it was still going about 285 or even more the problem with those talons is it was really easy to modify them and make them shoot really fucking hard my brother-in-law and sister were always playing with those and they didn't buy masks because they thought oh i bought a cheap walmart gun what i don't need a industrial paintball mask. I'm not a professional. They sort of looked at it that way. And the next thing you know, one of them's shot

in the face and a tooth gets knocked out. My dad's like, we play all the time. We've been playing for years. You definitely need a mask. You absolutely required equipment. It's not an option. This is your mouth guard at boxing. You need it. Yeah.

Let me do... We did all the advertisements. I was like, I don't know where he's going with this one. Look at us. I've got that video. Oh, yeah, Taylor's hockey video of this man's leg being...

Oh! Oh, wait, that's what that was? Yep. I watched it twice not noticing anything. He broke his femur. Yeah, so the guy on the Predators, the white team there, this was game one of the Blues versus Predators series last night. That guy had to go to the hospital because he broke his femur badly, I guess.

Which leg? The one that bows up and then crumples? The game was delayed for half an hour because they're not allowed to start the game until a replacement. They scooped him up? No, no, no. They scooped him up. That took a while, but there's a rule. Is that Big T? No, that's

Bortuzzo. So the guy doing the hitting, one of our defensemen, Robert Bortuzzo, he's 6'4", like 240 or something. The guy being hit is 5'10". And so it's a big size difference there but yeah they had to postpone the game for like half an hour as they took the stretcher out and wheeled the guy off and then he left in an ambulance and they didn't have another ambulance there and so they literally had to like have the guys on the ice just waiting there for like 10 minutes as

the hospital sent another ambulance over because you're not allowed to have the hockey game going unless another an ambulance is there in case someone gets their throat cut or something. But, yeah, we ended up losing the game. What a sport. Is that boarding? What's with the delay of game? Oh, well, that gentleman broke his leg severely, so they had to take the ambulance. Well, we can't play the game without at least one ambulance here at a time.

You know, in case a throat is slid or perhaps an air pump kills a fan fan dude that was the thing that bothered me the most that video was there no there was no penalty on it no then at the end of that there was like matching minors because some shit happened afterward but that itself wasn't that you can see him like start to fall and lose his edge in it and yeah that was it really wasn't a very dirty hit at all like it was just kind of pushing him into the boards and it went badly but sorry tucker you were saying that you were worried i would know that that like that that video of the guy getting his what is it his aorta or whatever the fuck cut and then the the doctor comes in as like in his neck holding the the jugular the the jugular yeah the jugular as he's like like there's this blood splurting out

and i was like what the fuck like why do people play this game like this is so like alarming to me but then i was like oh football every other game is the same way i've seen enough like soccer like legs get broken in half and shit like that that just all those bother me and he supports injuries go to 30 seconds in this one and you can see what you just described. Oh, no, no, no. 30 seconds? 27 seconds, 30 seconds, right around there. Oh, that's the throat cutting.

Yeah, that's the throat cutting. I didn't want to see that. I thought I was going to see a leg breaking. I didn't want to watch him bleed on the ice again. Oh, I thought you already saw the leg breaking. Yeah, I thought you had a new leg break that was even more gruesome or something like that. It's only a matter of time. I wanted to talk about that they released this Alien Covenant prologue footage that's supposed to be what happened after the Prometheus movie, but I don't think anybody here watches Prometheus or cares for the alien movies.

I've seen Prometheus, the movie. Okay. Yeah, I watched it when it came out. I don't remember all the little subtleties. You watching that hockey thing? Yeah, I watched it. Taylor, have you heard this too, that one of the trainers was like a Vietnam medic and that's the only reason he survived?

Yeah, because he reached in and grabbed's the only reason he survived. Like, yeah. Yeah. Cause he reached in and grabbed the jugular and pinched it off. And I was like, yeah, he would have died. That guy would have died for sure. Like I think, and that would have been the first death in the NHL since like the thirties

when I guess they, they didn't, they didn't always have an ambulance on hand. Yeah. You're not producing this post season anyway. There was just a hole in the pond ice and they pushed them down into it and away they went. A Canadian burial, yes.

That way he's always with us. You can see his face floating up underneath the ice as motivation. Remember to back check or you'll end up like lazy defenseman Robbie. The Penguins are playing tonight. How bad are they losing? Penguins won 3-2 against the Washington Capitals.

Into the second round now. Fucking A. But it's 3-2, so it's a close game. Could have gone either way. Senators won over the Rangers tonight. That's got to be... I don't think either one of those teams has a chance at winning the Cup. I think they're going to lose

to Penguins or Capitals. But, yeah. Ducks lost to the Oilers. And they come home with it tied up. A whole nice advantage. That'll be fine. I really hope they fucking win it this year if the Blues can't. Just not the Penguins

again. And actually, now the Hawks are out, I'm in a pretty good mood about the whole thing. I know hope they fucking win it this year if the Blues can't. Just not the Penguins again. And actually, now the Hawks are out, I'm in a pretty good mood about the whole thing. I know Kyle's not. You still have to get your next... I know. You have to get your Nashville Predators jersey so that you can, once again, bandwagon

it up. But they're looking real good. They beat us last night 4-3. So it should be a good series at one point it took the blues 49 minutes uh of play time which is 10 11 minutes less than the game of play time to score more goals than chicago did against the predators in four games just as another little like twist into how badly chicago did thisseason. So are you bragging about that loss? Oh, yeah, about that. I was on the hockey subreddit. I was on the hockey subreddit, and some Hawks fan was like,

this is horse shit. This is complete bullshit. Like, we should just play it over because the outcome was so far from what should happen that it should just be replayed and he almost had me going for a second and I was like wow he is making a few key points here the statistics just don't match up and then I started

reading the other comments and they're like oh yeah you're right I'm a like whatever the fuck Jacksonville Penguins fan and I wish we could just play the whole season over because I don't think it went fair for us either and the guy's like yeah I'm an Atlanta Falcons fan and I wish we could just play the whole season over, because I don't think it went fair for us either. And the guy's like, yeah, I'm an Atlanta Falcons fan, and I'd love to be able to go back a few weeks, and let's just play the Patriots one more time and get it right this time. To be fair, the Jacksonville Penguins have never won a game.

Not one. They are on the longest cold streak in NHL history. Not a single one. Yes, they are. Yeah, I saw that post as well i really uh uh i just love postseason hockey it's so intense there's so much hitting chis is actually getting into it now he's messaging me with games he's watching like oh this is a real rip-roaring good one and like knowing chis maybe he's fucking with me but i think he's being genuine with this and he's he's enjoying it enough to even watch and it helps so much these from california you guys have a kind of a rivalry which is it's there maybe i think it's just a general dislike but i mean that's there with everyone yep yeah i guess so. But... I mean, he's a Jew. No, is he?

I mean, purportedly. He's, you know what? I took a blood sample last time I saw him. He's not actually a Jew, right? Jesus is not a Jew by blood. But he's Jewish, right? Like, he's a little Jewish, right? Come on.

He's very religious? No, nope. He's just... He has Jew-like aspects. He's Jewish. Ah, he's Jew-ish. Yeah, yeah. He's not Jewish.

He's Jewish-ish. With the emphasis on the ish. Yes. Yeah, he's Jewish to some of the characteristics of a Jew. That's all. Yeah. But anyway, I know Chiz listens to these. Keep watching Hockey Chiz.

I know you're actually liking it, even if it's a long con. Some of it. He's going to come out and be like, this sport sucks. I wasn't watching any of it the whole time, idiot. It's a fun sport that when people give it a shot, they like it. Except for Kyle. Trump's tax plan? Have you guys paid attention to it at all?

Going from seven brackets down to three? I think it's four but um i don't know i didn't follow oh it's four but one of them zero i don't know count it how you will uh we all benefit in a positive way yep that's kind of it like if you're self-employed or a contractor if you have any incentive to uh to to drop yourself into a so uh pass-through corporation like you're you're chilling like i it doesn't matter if you think it's wrong like i'm not agreeing with it but i benefit from it so like there you go you know yeah and you know yeah and then more money in your pocket's probably a good thing you know what to do with your money oh yeah i'm not an idiot i don't have a nice feel like like if they give if they cut like a wealthy man's taxes in half and then cut yours by five percent

is it still okay to be like we all benefit yeah no no no i know i mean we do all benefit but like i don't benefit as much like i feel like it's you know an applebee's steak is still steak it doesn't mean it's good like you're comparing two things that are like i'm saying personally i will benefit from this i won't benefit nearly as much as anybody higher up than me and i will benefit way more than people below me. I do still benefit. Doesn't mean that I think it's right. I'm just saying like as a fact of the matter thing. Did you hear what old lion Ted Cruz was saying about this El Chapo bill? I think it's being called now. He said that El Chapo has a personal fortune of 15 to 20 billion

dollars as one of the biggest narco smugglers on the globe and that we should seize that money and that will build the wall. Good for El Chapo. When I heard that, I was like... This is a twist I didn't see coming. If it panned out, that would be a great season ender.

Wouldn't it be? That'd be a Walking Dead like, are we going to survive? Holy shit, they did it. Yeah, and it'd be like, oh my god, you got El Chapo's money? Well, god damn. My favorite thing is that they named the bill, isn't it called the El Chapo bill? They named it after a guy

who got rich off of building tunnels under walls. Wait a minute, hold on. Is that a real thing? But do they know where the money is? Can they actually get money well yeah he's got global assets they can seize them that's what ted cruz is saying and he'd never tell us a lie no old lie and ted cruz um i love this idea it's beautiful i like it for the same reason that i've liked donald trump all along he's like oh that's hilarious

you can't write that shit. I just watched five seasons of The West Wing and there's nothing that ridiculous in there. And they got some silly shit. House of Cards can't do this shit. No. House of Cards can't do this shit. Because Trump is so crazy. If I'm writing House of Cards, I'm like, shit.

Real life is more ridiculous than what we wrote. Next season of House of Cards, how funny would it be if like some like really really rich entrepreneur style guy came in and challenged uh underwood for the ticket and he started doing all this same kind of shit of you know talking shit maybe it could be trump maybe you know they literally hire trump after he's impeached. That's how you get to lose. Yes, sorry, President Trump. Like, the fucking show comes on, the credits are rolling, right?

Robin Wright, oh, yeah, yeah, great, great. She's back this season again. Then you get President Donald J. Trump. What? Can you imagine how often he would make mistakes and, like, break the fourth wall like Frank, but not in, like, the tactful way andful way and the he-doesn't-know-how-to-act-well kind of way? Where he'd be like, now, Mr. President, I mean, incumbent Trump, that's your competitor. Candidate Trump is your fucking character now. You've got to tell Underwood that you're not afraid of him.

It's like, Underwood, I'm absolutely not afraid of you. I'm coming after you, just like I came against all of my opponents in the real election. Hillary Clinton. And like, oh, my God. Oh, we're still in the first scene. Can we rewrite? We can't rewrite it? We can't?

We already booked him. Fuck. Okay. Send him back to Mar-a-Lago, I guess. We're going to GFX him in. Can we get out with the filler? Oh, man. we're gonna we're gonna with that can we get out oh man that would be fucking funny if he like guest starred in a that would make my life complete like like above all and beyond anything just just let him guest star in an episode of house of cards from prison i don't give a if he goes to

prison like go to prison and be like yo he's like giving advice on this guy how to like usurp the u.s government like just get him in there somehow it would be really funny really funny to see him in there just because well they would never do it but ah that'd be hysterical it's a shame he's uh he's so old that he's not going to live long after the presidency. But this is funny. Imagine some of the antics. You were young, but remember when McCain was running against Obama? And the big thing was like, this is Obama's first term. He ran against McCain.

The second one was Romney. And McCain looked terrible. He looked like death. One side of his face was all swollen, and he can't shake hands or something. That's from the war. Yeah, but he did look old it doesn't matter he's a high mileage guy and a lot of them were like you know one heartbeat from the presidency is sarah palin right you know mccain is so old and fragile

that uh you know that you know hayman palin is a scary ticket eight years in mccain's still alive and so is his mom mccain's mom is alive okay well had i had i known that in 2008 i would have maybe been a little more like all right this guy's got longevity in the family he'll jimmy carter's that means nothing jimmy carter's still alive jimmy carter's still alive he could come back and do another term. He could technically, didn't he? Yeah, because he was such a failure the first time. Not the worst living president. Fucking pussy, Drew. Fucking pussy.

Just so much rage at Carter. Goddamn Iranians. Yep. Farming fuck. He did have a good line. He said something recently. He's like, they made me give up my peanut farm, and Donald Trump's allowed to keep a whole corporation

and control the world. It's like, yeah, they did make him give up his peanut farm. That's horseshit. Yeah. I think they really made him give up his peanut farm. They did. He had to get rid of his ownership of his peanut farm back in the day. Take Trump and paint it blue.

So Trump, his number one one guy is Chelsea's husband. Right. And Chelsea's in there going over to Germany, meeting with Merkel. Like you guys wouldn't like no one would like that. They'd be like, this is obvious nepotism. And what qualifications does her husband have? And I don't like that either. Yeah.

Like the whole the whole Ivanka. You can't be like all gung ho about Ivanka. And then also be like, God, but if Chelsea was in there too, that would be a travesty. Because it's like, well, no, you shouldn't be voting for all these people's children to come in and take jobs. So that's a valid complaint. This guy, Jared Kushner, her husband, has so many responsibilities.

And everyone says how smart he is. Turns out he got into harvard um he didn't have the grades of the scores for it but his father donated two and a half million it's in a book called the price of tuition like it's it's out there it's been out there for a while um and this guy so you're saying he pays his fair share every step his father tell me more about this man yeah another thing and this is John Oliver talking, so it's all biased and such. But he's like, you don't know what his voice sounds like. You don't know what his voice sounds like.

None of us know what it sounds like. And they have him talking, but it's dubbed over with Gilbert Gottfried. And he's like, but you don't know for sure that's not him. You have no idea. It's 2017, people. My arguments don't need to have real weight. I'm making an emotional appeal with the British accent You know that is most of his show. I I know but this guy Jared Kushner is responsible seemingly for most of the government and

Yeah, I don't know this he's getting calling. That's true He's got a hand It's literally job is like to reform the government or something. I'll look for it. I think he's a senior advisor, isn't he? The point is he has way too much influence for whatever the fuck he's done. But my favorite part is he got called. The Pentagon announced today that they're opening or continuing, insert adjective, an investigation calling for public public testimonies from people like Sally Yates including Jared Kushner and my favorite thing is I was my immediate

thought is oh fuck like we get to hear him speak like I've never like this guy is in photo ops but like truly like do we know what he sounds like he could sound like Elmo or like something which would be the greatest plot twist ever if he sounds my thing is though can i tell you why i let me tell you why i think a little bit of jared kushner he landed ivanka trump i feel like if he was able to get that deal done, give him a shot at Middle East peace. Because I don't think any of us here have what it takes to secure the first and most important deal that he ever made, which was securing Ivanka Trump. Even with his billions, I'm not sure we could get it done. But he did.

He got a lot of billions. And that has to mean something. My funniest thing – the funniest thing I heard was when they're talking about he's in charge of Middle East peace. I don't know what sort of... Let me give you the list. Yeah, what does that mean? His to-do list includes Middle East peace, China talks, improved ties with Mexico,

innovate government, which is where I said most of the government, criminal justice reform, and then here's another list. It's mostly the same. If you list it like that... Opioid crisis management um i don't think all this is like on his plate yeah this is like uh i know but the way that's phrased

it's meant to make you think like nobody else is working on this shit it's just this like no it's it's not just him you know masterminding all this better that he has a hand in all of that though like even if it's just a hand i'm still like what are you doing in here yeah he shouldn't have a hand and i don't know that much about him i know he was successful before that i'm just saying that the way that that list is made it's meant to try and get you to think oh he's in charge of all this stuff and he let go all these other government people that could have been working on it too it's like no not really like yeah he's working on that stuff and he's not the only it, and he's not sitting in a room by himself with 10 feet of documents going, all right, first.

He's literally in charge of those things. He is the top guy on Middle East peace to innovate the government, liaison to Mexico, liaison to China. He's the top guy on all those things. And I took this, and I was like, huh. Take that, couple it with the knowledge. I'm going to get the numbers wrong, but there was something like 500 jobs that require congressional approval and trump has submitted 24 of them so far yeah it's uh it's under 30 i remember reading yeah so now to trump's credit he's like we don't want all 500 of those but

you can also see like there's a total mismatch like no one's working there anymore and that's why jared kushner in my mind has all the jobs like he just there's no one else to hand it to when i hear that what i what i think is that like okay he gets cc'd on all of that and he has a a voice in all of that and i think that he definitely under the current administration which is donald j trump he should be in as many pies as we can possibly get him in because he's the guy that Donald Trump listens to, trusts, and can work with. Like, it may be all fine and good if some Republican from Ohio was the one on one of those things

and some Republican from Florida was on another, but they may not be able to work with Donald Trump, and apparently this Jared Kushner guy can. I think under the scenario we're in, the best thing is probably that he has somebody that he can work with with fingers in a lot of pies because he doesn't seem to work well with others and maybe has an issue trusting inside the White House.

You see all of those leaks that come out. It must be difficult to trust people. I think it's the idea that really they're just not doing it. If they put every job that they don't care about on one guy's plate, innovate the federal government. He's not really going to innovate the federal government. That's not a thing that will get accomplished.

My issue is entirely the fact that he was not confirmed by the governing bodies of the United States and he is entirely inept for whatever the fuck he's doing. I guess he's inept. I don't know anything about him. At least in my, at least in my, the publicly available knowledge, it does not seem like

he has the proper credentials to fulfill the duties that have been delegated to him. I have no problem with anybody being involved in a situation where they might be able to communicate with Trump in some way. I have no problem with an expert, but my thing is, like, at least, like, jump through the hoops that have been jumped through solely for the fact that, like, you know, maybe you weed out somebody that's not qualified. Like, maybe that happens. If it doesn't and he's still existing, like, at least you have that on your plate.

I'm surprised that— You know how cool it would be if we went back to back to like you know how they used to do stuff in athens where it'd be like every single person served as a senator like all the citizens or they'd be like hey it's your two years or your year whatever to be on the senate of athens or whatever they'd be like all right this is what part of my public service and at the end of you know they'd vote and do what they did and at the end of it it'd be like all right you're out another citizen in like because like even our founding fathers didn't mean for government to be like a job they didn't mean for it to be like oh you become a senator and then you stay a senator for 60 years and that's what you did you just were a senator

you make lots of regulations about a private market that you've never competed in so you have no perspective and that's what you do like that's not what it was meant to be. Think of how cool it would be if we did something like that. It'd be borderline impossible with 300 million people. It'd be so dumb. But I would at least pay for the pay-per-view to hear the fucking meetings where somebody's like... There has to be a qualification level at that point.

Somebody comes up, I shit myself and you're like, well, he has an equal voice. It's like... Well, who's voting for new pants for that guy? I'm not sitting in a room full of shit. I'd like to co-sponsor the Lysol bill.

My deputy co-sponsors that it be mint. Would you like to cover that shit smell up immediately? It is the mint Lysol bill against child pornography. You're like, what the fuck?

Now none of them will vote against it. Which is what they do right now. I don't mind Jared Kushner because I feel like he's probably the anti-Steve Bannon. It seems like from what you hear from the outside that they're very opposed and we all know Steve Bannon is more of a nationalist, white pride kind of guy maybe maybe a little racist uh you know

it's a right-wing pro-israel paper in in israel well those are good guys right so i was kind of backing up your point that he's pretty national yeah he's pretty nationalist so and then you got so i feel like kushner is as much a voice of reason as anything i it doesn't look good from the outside end when you hear one guy who who doesn't seem qualified to us is in charge of so many things i just don't know what the reality and the working cogs are on the inside like to be like one of the biggest piece my guiding uh like uh piece of information that helps me know how the inside of a white house works is watching the fucking West Wing, right? Like, where else do you get this information?

So I'm like, oh, okay, so that's that guy's job, and that's this guy's job, and each of them have, like, underlings, and I'm, like, picturing the whole structure, and then I turn on CNN, and I'm like, Donald Trump does not have a Toby. Donald Trump doesn't have a Toby or a Rob Lowe either. There are no Rob Lowe's in that building. I think the biggest thing, the biggest difference between

a real life politician like White House or State Capitol versus that West Wing, what I imagine, I've never watched West Wing or House of Cards thing, is that in House of Cards and West Wing I assume, they're always on the move. They're always doing stuff. They've always got shit to do. They're packed to the gills.

We're politicians. We're busy people. We've got things to do. In real life, I guarantee you there's not a fucking fifth as much work happening there as we want. No, that's not true. Let me tell you how I know. There's a special episode of the West Wing where, at the time it was made,

it was like, I think it went from 99 to like 2004 or 2005 somewhere in there um so like in the special episode it's like half the cast and them talking about what they do and half their real life counterparts so bill clinton is in there um like and and multiple counterparts to the show's characters are in there and they're talking about how like yeah you make make $600 a week and you give up your family for four years. There is no family. I didn't

see my wife. I didn't see my children. They're all talking about massive sacrifices and the workload of just ridiculous hours that go on into weekends and holidays. Every morning, no sleep, no family, no private time. It's just devotion.

To Taylor's point, I completely agree with Taylor that there's probably some FBI translator who takes three-hour lunches every day or something like that. The senators. Government jobs. And people in the House. Those guys raise money most of the time. They spend all their time making phone calls. But in the West Wing, I'm pretty sure they're pretty busy. Yeah, it's a fun deal. money most of the time that's that's they spend all their time making phone calls um but uh and the west wing i'm pretty sure they're pretty busy yeah it's a yeah i'm sure they'll age 10 years

in four years you know yeah there's there's a difference between those two those two sections so yeah like there's the the run like the average politician is not like in between meetings with a three minute interval to be like, yes, but I have to sign off on this damaging proposal. And do this in the walk. But those that are involved with the upper level are absolutely just giving up

their life for it, which makes sense. And as it should be, honestly. When I found out how many times people just don't vote, they just don't show up and vote, like I was baffled that there are so many people who are elected who it's like, well, I'm out of town.

No, I can't do it. I can't be made to make a difficult decision, so I'm going to be on hiatus or on whatever you call it. I'm just playing devil's advocate because I'm not really sure. But a lot of those votes are on like renaming post offices and shit like that. Is that what they're saying? No, a lot of them aren't. Like they're missing important things that would damage them where they could instead say like,

oh, this guy, this Democrat voted against this, you know, and then he could be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, I didn't vote against anything. I did not go. I just wasn't there. I did did i just thought that issue was like yeah i abstained it blew my mind i totally didn't think of it like that's more if they're like hey what do you want to name this post office and it's like i don't know just throw george just show washington on it who gives a fuck like all right passed it's our 70th washington post office it's fine like but that's not how it goes, ever, because of our shitty fucking government. You would never have a bill

to just rename a post office. There'd be so much pork in there. First of all, we couldn't just name it George Washington Post Office. We'd have to name it after, like, some military guy who was the cousin of the governor. It'd be Jimmy John's fucking post office, because he got shot somewhere. And then

on the other hand, we'd have to figure out who's going to make the art that adorns this new post office. We've got to put art in there, right? Well, where's the art come from? Well, we have a donor who makes this art. Their gallery's actually donating

quite a bit of money to the campaign. We're going to buy several pieces from them at a cost of $300,000. There'll always be pork in there and bullshit. It's a flawed system. It's so awful. The more you learn about it, the more you hate our system of government.

Yeah. The more you hate lots of forms of government because you're just annoyed by inefficiency. But like Churchill said, it's still the best form. Yeah. It's all down to it. It's all inefficiency and lack of... I hate the corruption. That's my frustration. Lobbyists.

The lobbyists in particular. Let me interject by saying that the thing that made me the most absurdly annoyed is when they printed out the... I believe it was the net neutrality lobbyist list, where it was anybody who's taking

money from an internet or cable lobbyist list where it was like anybody who's taking money from a Internet or cable lobbyist group and they put the sums that they receive and I was like these Motherfuckers are selling to my life for less than I would do a sponsor deal for a mobile game Like how fucking shitty are you up making a deal that you're like yeah three grand for this like yeah Put that in my fucking... Well, I mean, a lot of them have never been in the private sector. We need lobbyists. God, we need our own lobbyists. We should be a lobby. Let us lobby for them.

Let's lobby for the congressman to lobby against the lobbyists. Yeah, there's two things that are frustrating in the last month or so. One of them is when they made it so that they could sell your private browsing data to advertisers. Oh my God, like tapping a phone

and selling your phone calls. And the other now is the net neutrality wars back on. And I watch these things and it's like, man, every time someone tells me that there's

no difference between Republicans and Democrats going forward, I'm going to be like, there's a difference. There's a difference. These guys are just flipping the things that Obama did, not passed by Congress, because

that's much harder to flip, but the things that were just executive orders, they just undo all that shit. And the other side wants to kill babies and take your guns away. So weigh that out, America. But we're pro-killing babies on this show. Absolutely. We're guns. Whatever.

Guns and killing babies. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. But, yeah, that is true. I swear. Yeah, we have a mixed bag. I support abortion with firearms. Dude, if the Democrats would just drop the fucking gun thing.

You know, because the Republicans have, it seems to me, at least two-thirds dropped the whole gay thing. You know, where they just hate on gay people all the time for no fucking reason. If the Democrats would do that with guns, then they would get more votes. Yeah. Yeah. I need to see the abortion doctor coming in. Alright.

We got that numbing. We gave you the numbing, local numbing. This will just take a second. That's fucked. That's super fucked up. Yeah, it's pretty fucked up. And we arrived here. Not the same.

I'm going to shoot babes all day now. I don't know. I don't think we should talk politics anymore. We hit that nail on the head there. I thought the Covenant trailer was cool can we watch it for anyone who has seen what's the timeline on this

new alien is this like a prequel alien alright so god I'm probably going to get this wrong but this clip that I've linked is a prologue in the next alien movie which shows us how the movie

Prometheus, what happened after the events of Prometheus. So this clip shows us what happened after the events of Prometheus, and probably some way comes into play and affects the new Alien Covenant movie, but the new Alien Covenant movie is

apart from what we're about to see, if that makes any sense. Not to me, but I'll watch the trailer. I'll pick it up. Ready, set, play. I'll have to backfill because I haven't watched any of the other movies.

I'm caught up to 1984. Oh, this is the one about Provence. Okay, never mind. I'm caught up to 1984. Oh, this is the one about Prometheus. I haven't seen any. I haven't seen any. Except for the very first one. Is Prometheus in the Marvel Universe? No, he's not a superhero.

A more person. All hands were on it. But I escaped with Elizabeth in one of their ships. I was badly injured on our mission. She put me back together. I never experienced such compassion. Certainly not from Mr. Wayland. Or from any human. Green to green. Red to red. It's meant to be simple.

I'm doing my best. That robot guy wasn't knowing a shit in Prometheus. We were able to activate their ship and set course for their homeworld. We were finally going to meet our creator. This is so awesome. How long? To me, as an alien fan, it's that thing he's in. What if they know better than us?

So long as they are no worse. Sleep tight. I'll wake you when we arrive. David's holding a grudge. So he's mad at her? No, he's mad at the engineers, these guys who started the entire race of humanity. They'd flown light years and light years

to find these engineers, and it turned out that the one they found was just brutal and killed his creator, his father so now they've taken the ship they're flying back that were engineer basically giant pigs that we've been in this all this is their plan and I don't know the Baxter about to see but it seems like the arrival of this long-gone ship is being celebrated by like the entire population the city. It's going to be bloody. But they don't.

This is the same series with Ridley Scott and stuff, right? Yeah. Oh, that's it. I mean, it looks interesting. I feel like I need to watch them. In despair. At the end there, in case you didn't catch it, like he's about to unleash this huge space bomber on the

alien planet using the Black Ooze bioweapon from the Prometheus movie. I really love those movies. I feel like I need to watch maybe three more movies to understand this trailer. You probably do. You need to watch at least one, which is Prometheus and is not a great movie, but it's a Lego that fits into

the set and you won't know how the castle works unless you watch it. All the alien movies are good though. I like Alien 1. Alien, Aliens, and after that it's not that great. I watched the one where they shave their heads because of lice or something. I think that's the prison planet. Her ship crash lands on the prison planet, and it's just her and all of these neutered men.

They're all castrated. That's why they don't rape her. They have to write that in right away, right? Well, you're telling me a woman crashed on a prison planet? They just rape her to death? No, no, they're all castrated. Oh, okay. So then what happens?

And they fight the aliens on that planet. And then she dies at the end. And then they resurrect her in Alien 4 Resurrection, where she's like an alien-human hybrid with all these super fucking skills. And then there's all those tanks of the mistakes of her that are like, kill me, kill me, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Wow. And then Prometheus is like a prequel to all of them

that takes you back and shows you how all of it got started and even how the human race originated. These engineers came to our planet and seeded it with their DNA. And there's this whole big scene that shows that off. So yeah, I like it a lot. That happens in Star Trek too, that same plot. Yeah, in Star Trek. so yeah i like it a lot i like the star trek too that same plot and then i yeah yeah and star trek oh wait which one are you talking about the um when they use the genesis probe i think so and and they meet like an original person yeah and he explains like oh yeah it was our dna that

populated all these things that's why klingons and humans and vulcans all look so similar a lot of people don't know that episode and that's like one of those things that's why Klingons and humans and Vulcans all look so similar a lot of people don't know that episode and that's like one of those things that explains why they what about the angles Gandalf always like why does everyone in the Star Trek universe fucking look alike we're all bipedal we all have two arms and a head with a mouth

and a couple eyes budget of course but some fine writer out there said hey hey hey what if one super ancient race had went and spread their DNA across many planets across this galaxy and then allowed it to evolve from that starting point, however it may to be. It was pretty clever. It was very clever.

Yeah. I like that a lot. I like Star Trek. I used to hate Star Trek. I thought it was like, because of the Picard version, which I liked at the time, I now think of Star Trek as like star office workers, right? But you watch the movies now

and they are star extreme sports players, you know, and everything is about skydiving, bungee jumping, and motocross and shit like that. I don't like that. I hate the, I don't like the new movie.

I don't like the third one. And on rewatch, I don't like the second one either. What I don't like is some of what you do like, because it's supposed to be about, like, a United Nations of scientists going out and doing science, and every now and then, yeah, we've got to kick some ass. We've got to punch a lizard man. We've got to uppercut a Klingon.

We've got to shoot a bunch of people or blow some people up or threaten to eradicate a whole race if you're Picard. But for the most part, we're the United Nations of scientists, and we're fucking out here learning. And I don't know, the new ones, it's like any excuse they can possibly come up with to throw the Beastie Boys soundtrack on there, you'd have thought they'd have at least innovated a little bit, like not play the same fucking song in three movies in a row.

Did they do that literally? Yes! They keep playing that same goddamn song over and over. Put the ACDC in there. If fucking ACDC rolled out, that would get you pumped up all over again. I'm probably wrong, but I like to think that Kirk is the X Games division of Starfleet, and that the rest of them are what you're looking for, but we're following along a, uh, whatever, extreme sport acrobatics. The way I, the way I look at all the captains, they all have their, their own attributes and stuff. Kirk's thing is he's a wild

card a bit. He, he's a, he has a flair for the original. He doesn't like rules. If he can find a way to go around the rules and still get the correct result, he's perfectly fine with that. He's rebellious. He's impulsive. And he's physical, both sexually with the alien bitches and with his fucking dukes if a fucking Morlock or wizard man wants to come at him. He just doesn't care. Then you got Picard, who's the thinking man's captain. He's a bit of a delegator.

You never saw him throw a punch. He threw a few punches, but not mostly judo right he did a lot of frozen stuff and then he'd like hammer fish you once in the head and you'd go to sleep or something like mostly not a physical guy phasers on stun that's his style picard's definitely the thinking man's captain he's the one who can wink at number one and like nod at number two and like the whole room knows what's up and they're a cohesive band of people who like they're all geniuses and that's a big part of it and then you got uh cisco in deep space nine and he's he's a little bit of a mixture of both of them

he'll throw a punch and he'll out think you he'll out he'll strategize against you but if it comes down to it he'll fly a warship right into your planet and and and make war upon you and then janeway's just a real stupid cunt who uh who's stuck by the Prime Directive for like 99 years in the Gamma Quadrant

and let her people get all old and die and stuff when she should have been selling that technology and raping and pillaging to get them back home the whole time. And then Enterprise with Bacula is just... They try real hard, but all I can do is stare at Jolene Blaylock's ass and her lips, depending on which way she's facing the camera, and I just get lost after

a while. That's a pretty good breakdown right there. I want to fuck Jolene Blaylock so bad. And Jerry Ryan, who played Seven of Nine. I always develop some weird fetish for the hot chicks on Star Trek. Every single Star Trek there's a chick. Or two.

For Seven of Nine, though, I could never tell how much of it was her costume oh that chick i think she's hot and they were going all these sex clubs and it came out in a big scandal she's fucking sexy and hot and down to fuck and she's she's like a model she's got she's very nice body i need to see her body outside of costume because i think you could have taken an ordinary an ordinary woman, put her in that costume and she would be extraordinary. That thing was like

form fitting and shaping and all that fun stuff. Kyle's going to look for some Seven of Nine porn. Kyle's going to try and find some shit. Oh, there's Seven of Nine porn? Like animated Seven of Nine porn? And of course you can get into all kinds of nonsense much Seven of Nine porn, like animated Seven of Nine porn. And, of course, you can get into all kinds of nonsense.

Seven of Nine? That was her character's name. She was a Borg, which is like this cyborg race. They're half human, half organic. They're flying around, assimilating everything, making it all part of their collective. organic. They're flying around assimilating everything, making it all part of their collective. And so they took her out of that collective and took out a bunch

of her implants and gave her back her individuality but she still goes by her old moniker of Seven of Nine because that's how they designate units in the board collective. So I'm finding her hot but kind of like typical Hollywood hot. She looks like...

Alright, she looks like late 90s hot. She's absolutely not like the hot that I, myself, I don't look at her and I'm like, I would hit that. I would go after... She's on the cover of Maxim. That, I understand. But she, for whatever it's worth worth reminds me of like a motherly version of like her daughter is probably smoking but like her herself like she i don't know man she's she's definitely attractive there's no denying just not my type one of these pictures

is hosted on a site called wiki feet which you don't know about if you'd like to become a member it's 399 a month um we have the hottest pics of all your favorite celebrities feet um unlimited downloads we got feet with peanut butter on them we got poop feet so those are the first two that come to mind. She's totally good looking, but amongst the other Hollywood women who are known for being hot, I'm finding her bottom half.

Amongst the dimes. I don't know how to better phrase it. She's a very strong fan, and I can't even tell if she's got a 5 o'clock shadow from most of these pictures. I can see why you're a little got a five o'clock shadow from You know I like what I like But but Julie like super fucking hot like she's also wearing a similar body suit But she's Vulcan in the enterprise and her ass and like they're always having to take a shower in Star Trek Enterprise they take more showers than fucking the Picard ever fired photon torpedoes

There are more showers in fucking the picard ever fired photon torpedoes there are more showers in that one than there are torpedoes in the rest of them because like they're constantly oh we got contaminated we have to spend six hours together in the shower now and in the sonic shower like nothing happens if it's sonic so i imagine it's shooting like ultrasonic sound waves at you that you can't hear and just like an unsatisfying shower i stand in this room naked it just not it just like knocks the filth off you and it collects at the floor i guess and everybody's feet are real dirty by the end i don't know how it even fucking works but like they're in there and she's like covering her titties like with one arm and there's just there's like an inch and a half of ass crack and all the cleavage that that channel can show but constantly every episode

well and if you go back on Netflix to the old Next Generation episodes, find the one where Worf is having some sort of a sexual liaison with this Klingon bitch. She's like half Klingon. I think she's Alexander, his son's mother. And at one point, she's wearing

this spandex suit, and she comes in and smashes a table or something. And when she goes into smash mode and raises her arms you got so much camel toe I can see the cleft of her pussy the whole thing because the best part about those old shows like that Star Trek in particular the original Star Trek

and Next Generation they were filmed with especially the original filmed with those old timey shitty film cameras ah we bring that shit up to HD and all of a sudden those costumes are not appropriate. There's titties and ass in the old Star Trek from the 60s. Ohura's ass is always

out. It's like a rap video. I keep waiting for Young... I keep waiting for her to start dropping and popping it and Youngji's like, put his face next to her ass with some blinged out teeth and ass, ass, all of that ass. ohura is always fought like you know the ship gets rocky they hit with some torpedoes and everybody like does that number

like they pretend like ohura always falls face first that booty is just and that skirt's just always up she's wearing leggings it's great go to the episode where they got a fight on that planet and they're all wearing the collars and not only do you see a lot of ohura ass but that chick with the green hair is wearing this like j-lo thing split down the middle and there's titties and camel toe it's a real prize well you heard it here first kids go watch this show from the 60s and masturbate to it internet porn we got on my fucking captain i get my communicator and i i fucking lube it up it's it's the best it brings my childhood back to me people ask me I get my communicator and I fucking lube it up.

It brings my childhood back to me. People ask me, what's your podcast about? Now I have a snippet to explain. Yeah. Jerk in the 60s. TV. That's funny. Do we have an outro ad?

We certainly do. We're going to give everybody one more quick word from Dell. Are you prepared with your ding-dong-dong? Boop. Boop-boop-doop-boop. That's not going to do it. Let me know when you're ready.

I am ready. Bring your best game at every level with powerful Dell gaming PCs with Intel Core processors. Bring your best game at every level with powerful Dell Gaming PCs with Intel Core processors. Excuse me. Bring your best game at every level from powerful Dell Gaming PCs with Intel Core processors to the ultimate Alienware VR ready experience. Don't just play,

game. Visit Dell.com slash gaming. That's Dell.com slash gaming. Got it. I knew we could do it again three for three all right tucker where can everybody find you same fucking place you can always find me uh just search jericho i'll pop up if you can't find me i don't want you just you know just do your do your due diligence if you're too stupid to find the guy named Jericho on the internet he doesn't want your fucking ass exactly

he can't deny somebody else with an easier to read name exactly somebody who made a smart 15 year old branding decision you know like there's like six eyes in there at least I add one every year that I do this so it keeps getting longer.

It's getting longer. Thank you guys. Always fun to hang out with you guys. Always a good show. Always easy doing the show with you. Thanks for coming on.