Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #333

Episode Date: May 12, 2017

This week on PKA, Filthy Robot is back! And what a great episode it was, lots of fun sex talk, Daddy O Five losing some of his kids due to the recent news coverage about him, and the guys reflect back on the child abuse Woody lived through.

Here it is. The Steel People's Kids. PKA 333 with our guest Filthy Robot. Kyle? Yeah. Several sponsors tonight. Stamps.com, Pro Flowers, MeUndies, Zip Recruiter, Lyft, Dollar Shave Club, Squarespace, and Dawn of War 3. And I got a quick little word here from Dawn of War 3.

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Yeah. So check that out. We'll get it right in the description. More on them later because Filthy's been playing it. But, oh, Filthy, I was going to ask. I am working so hard not to call you Filthy Robot because that's how I mispronounce robot. But do other people do that or is this a new one for you? No, that's how I mispronounce robot. But do other people do that, or is this a new one for you?

No, that's just you. That's entirely and only you. Were you hoping that he would say, like, oh, no, you know, one in every baker's dozen gets it wrong. No, it was not just you. People love the name. He's an educated guy, and sometimes, like, he knows that. I genuinely thought it was going to be

like oh yeah that's like a philadelphia south jersey dialect i've heard it before but but that's not that's not where we went i do a couple collaborations with other people on youtube and i work with the roomba a lot and he uh he's he got obsessed with the word filthy for a while when we first started streaming he said it became like a common like thing around the house like he had his wife saying it like just adjective all the time because like like the word filthy but never heard robot except for except for last time i was on pka so and you know what we all live in different parts of this great nation and i don't think any of us have heard anyone else say no but no it's not a midwest accent it's not a georgia accent i i genuinely think it's a Philly, like, Jersey thing. Not North Jersey.

They've got their own thing. So any people, fans out there listening to this, there are hundreds of thousands of you. Tune in. Have you ever in your life of speaking English heard anyone pronounce robots? And while you're at it, make sure

you say nuclear, and if you saw something, there's no L on the end of that word. To be fair, I've also heard ro-bit, like R-O-B-I-T, like a ro-bit. Really? Like that, but I've never heard ro-butt. You know, I always thought I had a really neutral accent. Like, I don't know of any Colorado accent or stuff. I always thought, like, hypothetically, if I was a news reporter or something,

I'd have no changes to make. It's not until you fine gentlemen pointed out... I knew I was fucking up nuclear. But otherwise, I thought I was good. Well, if you were a news reporter, you would have found out too. You just got your own particular way. Elon Musk investing billions

into mechanical robots. We'll see. Who's this guy talking about robots and Elon Musk? Yeah, you've got investing billions into mechanical robots. We'll see you in the movie. Who's this guy talking about robots? Elon Musk? Yeah, you've got your own way of doing a few things, right? Like, I've never heard anyone say 24 by 7. No.

That sounds like it's a construction term. Yeah. Like, it's a big board. Like, that's an odd-shaped board. Okay, 24 inches wide and seven feet long it's my waist now that one i don't think i've made up on my own i i bet there's a contingent out there who thinks 24 by 7 is normal as well we want to hear from you people too yeah i i now i'll admit with robot i i might be alone i think i've got some friends in jersey, but I might be alone. 24 by 7, there have to be more of us out there. My brother's up

in Philadelphia. I'll ask him if that's anything he's ever heard. That would be great. I'm curious now. Can we get him on the show? Can we call him? Can you put him on speaker? Have him confirm. Oh yeah, so we heard Woody. If you're from a very small segment of southern New Jersey,

comment and confirm this. We're going to go back to my high school. Myth busted. The rest of it. A few more. Do you want to lay it on our first topic now? Yeah, sure. I'm ready for you to lay into it.

I have a video, actually, that we can watch together. It's 51 seconds long. Is it a YouTube video or a live video? No, it's not. It's a fun video. I'm just wondering what we're headed for here. Oh, it's these horrible parents crying, isn't it? Do they cry?

Do they cry? They're not happy. They are not happy. Look at those faces. They got their lighting right, though. They do. Yeah, these are real YouTubers. I think they're in their house. They spent 45 minutes setting up the lighting and their

makeup, and then they got into cry mode, and here we go. Oh my gosh. Did they monetize the video? Of course. To me, looking at the player, I don't think it's on YouTube. I think this website stole their video and uploaded it themselves. It's on

independent.co.uk for those of you out there. Are we checking it out? Are we ready to do the synchronized play? Oh yeah. Alright. Ready, set, play. This has been the absolute worst week of our life and we realize that we have made some terrible parenting decisions and we just want to make things right. I do agree that we put things on the Internet that should not be there.

We did things that we should not do. They kind of feel like some of it's their fault and it's not their fault. It's got a sweater vest. He looks like he's been sick for his community decisions. We are now in family counseling because we need it um not only to

get through the you know media stuff but we we needed to come back together and have everybody even the kids to understand what we did wrong in all this we wanted them to be happy we just wanted our kids to be happy and we went about it the wrong way yeah well so just to flesh the rest of this out these were i don't know i've never seen these people before i've never watched any of their videos so these are their children would take a couple of their children a portion of their children background for you so yeah that'd be good these are youtubers and um the daddy05 i guess the guy is kind of the star he has five kids i think that there's some step kids in there i don't know the this i don't watch their videos but um they would semi-routinely kind of like abuse the children or have the children hit each other um there's

there's one where a kid gets pushed into a shelving unit there's the one that bothered me the most was they put uh invisible ink like disappearing ink on the carpet and then they pulled the kid up and just screamed at him in the accused him yeah and then accused him of doing this and he's like i didn't do it and he's breaking down into tears you can't overstate how much this was not a fun like oh no ruin the carpet what were you thinking like no it was like berated like we were all caught off guard when she started yelling and shrieking get up here get up here like making the f box up there yeah fucking carpet cursing at him fucking did dylan or whatever the kid's name is and she's like in full-on like

like like really animated pointing at it and the kid is like palms out fed face red like i swear to god they didn't do this and they don't relent they're like oh you did it you did and the other kids are looking like i'm glad i didn't fucking do it i'm glad i didn't fuck that and then there's another time where they play some kind of game i don't remember what like the thing is Maybe they flip a coin. But whoever loses gets fucking smacked in the face by the other opponent. And basically has the one little boy slap the girl in the face really fucking hard. For a YouTube video. I never slapped a face like that as a kid.

And there's lots of videos where you don't see the abuse, but it's sort of hinted at. He's like, do I need to turn the he's like do i need to turn the camera off do i need to turn the camera off to do this to go in there and do this thing because i'll turn the camera off when the dad would like reach towards them or the mom would reach towards them i saw some clip online where like the kids almost have like a recoil response which means it's like and that doesn't happen yeah that's pretty bad so like if one of your friends pranks you once and they like go to shake your hand a week later, you're not like, oh, no, no, not this guy. Like, no, but think of how habitual that is to have it trained into a kid.

Like, oh, what's he going to do, slap me with some buzzer on my forehead and call me a douche and push me down the stairs and tell me to fight my sister? And all this is done by taking these two kids is just, I mean, those other three kids are about to get a lot of overtime because they're going to have to ratchet up those hours. Yeah. To keep this content up. You guys are going to be working for five. For five kids. Yeah. Yeah.

That means we've got to ratchet up the pranks, right? Like, next week, you just shoot one of the kids in the kneecap. That's what I'm thinking on some level. The remaining siblings are like, sweet. We just, you know, this this is a better deal for us. We have increased screen time now. I think they might have taken... I've read they took down all their videos.

I didn't confirm it by looking. Or they took down all videos except the apologies. Something in that field. They were pretty popular. I think they had like three quarters of a million subscribers. So this wasn't like some tiny thing. How long has it been going on for? This is kind of, I mean, this is something I'm kind of curious about.

A couple of years. The only video they have up is their apology. Okay. In the last month or so, Philly D and maybe some other people brought some attention to it. And they had some lowlights edited together that kind of demonstrated the worst version of them and uh i i like like so look it's easy to jump on the hate train like i fully

get that and and i'll readily admit what some of the stuff they did was freaking over the top undeniably i'm pretty resistant to taking kids from parents right like if they had mandated maybe just based on what i said they went back to their mother though no no no i'm interested to see the tactics as he storms this beach i might have manned so but they took it away from the mother for a reason the mother didn't even have visitation we don't know what the scoop is with that but they they redid the they decided somehow dad's bad and mom's good when previously the other decision had been made if i had my facts right i think um well you should have that youtube channel going for him it was like hey this kid gets to be an actor in my house so i think like it just based on what i

saw i might have had mandated therapy and some like social worker intervention, you know, interview the kids by themselves and things like that. I'm just super cautious about yanking kids out of their home, separating them from the rest of the family. They've made other videos. Maybe you guys haven't seen explaining that like, like we're working with our kids because they feel like they did all of this. You know, they feel like they're responsible for for it and they're the reason that the family's been split up like it has and i'm just like man like they they divided if the government came in here and removed children from their parents and sometimes that's the right thing to do but i feel like that belongs in extreme cases you know if there was like sexual abuse or um i don't know, drugs in the house.

Something like that. If you're running a meth lab in there, that's where we pull the kids away. I think it depends on what the situation with the mother is. Because we're just assuming that she's the devil. But they gave him back to the mother. She's competent to take care of him, clearly. Or they wouldn't give him to the mother. Yeah, and if they just renegotiated the existing contract anyways to be like you know this was what it was and now this is the new the new

breakdown of custody there's nothing to say that can't be done again right so this may be in sense like a temporary like okay we just caught you guys doing this shit you're posting it on youtube it's finally come to our attention that's got to stop you need to show some sort of you know remorse some sort of change and then maybe we can talk about custody again so it might not be a permanent thing i hear you and i suspect it's not but because i think they in one of the i've seen a couple videos they implied that you know it was until they got everything sorted out even so like i think it's pretty traumatic to remove a child from their parents and i i think that removing that kid from the other brothers and sisters two kids from the other three that's what i'm confused

brothers and sisters the lineup oh are Okay, so of those five, are those two the only ones that are that mom's? Yeah, those are the ones they took. Okay. Okay, well, it makes a lot of sense to me. I was thinking before, like, all right, well, how did they divvy up these kids and be like, well, Connor, you got slapped

three times across four videos, but Susan got pushed down the stairs, and we ranked that higher, so have fun at home, kiddo. Apparently they had told the kids that their mother didn't love them anymore, and that their mother had thrown them away like trash. Yeah, I saw that too. That was something that the kids told

some authority. That they were kind of brainwashing the kids. But hey, don't take them away! It's a little brainwashing! These might be white trash parents, you know? Oh, 18 year old kids having a discussion about like, you know, oh if I had kids I'd

do this, that, and the other and it'd be hilarious and then like, you know, you grow up and it doesn't actually work that way in the world, but these people have made a YouTube video about it. They just did it! It's like what you're saying, this is all the shit that you think about, oh I could fuck with a kid, like I'd raise him and he'd never see like you know you read like some of the psychology experiments they did on animals you know a million years ago and you're like you know if a kid was

raised that way that you know they wouldn't know how to do this or you could do this really neat thing where they wouldn't be able to see vertical lines or this type of shit right a lot of those who uh who wanted to find out if there was a natural language so he raised these children without any spoken language they never heard a. And he found out that there isn't. There isn't. What if he'd come back and been like, it's French! The first one's French! You know?

Goddammit, we do have these fucking Mesopotamians taking credit for everything. Yeah, but those ideas always, well, minus apparently a couple of psychological experiments that actually were done, mostly end in IRB boards and review boards going, no, that's absolutely not going to work with human participants and the rest of us going that's a terrible idea but it's like somehow this like slipped through they're like you know what i mean because i mean what are your dad you know like you

you have to have had moments raising children been like holy shit you know i could tell them anything at this moment and they would be like you know i'm literally shaping how their their reality is as part defined it's like these people like took that and then like ran with it in some like really messed up direction we're gonna teach our kid to flinch every time we touch them we're gonna teach them it's okay to fight their sister you know like or whatever the hell but only if it's for youtube views and adsense and that's what he said he literally says that in that moment he's like now normally you never hit a girl. But this is for whatever.

And then he's like, but this is for YouTube. And the kid just lays into the, pow, smacks her in the face. I think he said, you never hit a girl, but it's OK if it's family or something, didn't he? Is that what he said? Nah, it was like, but it's OK because of what we're doing or because it's a game or something like that. It just fucked fun. You should have said like I'm an equal opportunity abuser All of my children, you know get hazed. That's really what he's doing

He's like he's like pretending that his house is a frat house and everybody's trying to get in to his club by doing ridiculous It's getting the pledge the kid Slept your sister pledge Pledge! The kids have to... Slap your sister! Pledge! What did you do to this carpet? What the fuck did you do to this carpet, man? Like, screaming at these poor kids. Is hitting your kids okay?

Yeah, yeah, I think so. Especially early on. I think you need to be regimented and you should never do it with anger about you. It should be a very calm thing where you're like, Jimmy, come here here i'm gonna have to punish you now for what you did and i don't like it you don't like it but you have to feel the consequences or they might not get through to you well i know i got him i got him well you

will in just a second come here you gotta like you have to like spank the kid's ass because they really won't get it otherwise but you you can't do it angrily you can't be like get over here there's an enormous difference between only one leaves like you can't pull that on your kid there's a difference between a kid getting like like pissing you off and you just like striking them or smacking them in the face because like you knocked over a glass of milk or something and you doing something shitty at school and your dad or mom coming home and being like hey you did this this is why it's shitty and this is why you're not going to do it again because you're going to remember this,

and then given a firm wooden spoon to the rear, or implement of choice. That's funny, I'm thinking back on it. As a kid, there was corporal punishment real early in my childhood, and then that basically stopped. I think my parents decided they wanted to go a different route with punishment. And the punishment I remember the worst as a kid growing up was never corporal punishment.

It was always the revocation of something that I wanted to do, like grounding or like the inability to, you know, taking away something that was always much worse for me. So I don't know. I don't know. I mean, you sound like the child of corporal punishment lightweights. Woody feared it way more than, uh, Woody was like, please take my video games. Oh, yeah, that would have been – It's funny. My mom came over for Christmas, and she didn't like that I had told the stories of me getting beat so badly. She's like, you make sure that those people know you were really bad. really bad.

I think the thing to take away from all this is that if Woody had been the child star of a YouTube channel, he too may have been taken away. That's true. Did she give an example of like, you were bad, you did this and that, remember? Or was it just kind of a you were bad, you needed your

wealth. What are we talking about? I mean, like caning? What are we talking about? I mean, like belts? What are we talking about for a corporate podcast? I'm kind of curious now. It would heat up a frying pan. Not mostly head hot, but it would smoke. It would seem hostile, right?

It's like that. No. Some of the higher-end stuff is, like, now they seem like retold stories. She had, you know know a window scraper for your car yeah yeah kind of the less expensive one that is a rough one right so she had like i don't know 12 or 24 of them held together with rubber bands because she was in real estate and they were like promotional items and she would beat me with that she would beat me with shoes the kicking kind of sucked like sometimes she would kick me um and that i didn't like um

so yeah like taking away my tv was not a problem you ever was your level of protest during getting kicked like were you old enough to be like hey come on now get out of here with your kick stop enough or was it just like oh i'm in i'm in great agony i'm in i'm struggling probably in the moment you're not thinking like hey sometimes i Sometimes I would run for my life, and then she would corner me up. The way the house was laid out. This is my under-12 house. You could run upstairs,

but all it led to was a bunch of dead ends. There's one hallway and a bunch of bedrooms. What did he learn from early age? He was going to misbehave. It wasn't like I could work my way around and eventually, no. She knew the layout. I just prolonged it by 20, 30 seconds and she got even madder.

I don't know. Whatever. But yes. And that made her stronger. You should all know that. I was very bad. So I've never hit my kids. I've never hit my kids. I've never hit my kids even once.

The closest I've come to hitting is maybe if they're doing something to me, I'll bat the arm away harder than I wish I had. I don't know. Dad's sleeping on the couch or something and they're just tickling my armpits.

Too much of that. A fast and blind way? No, their own wrist and hand. know dad's sleeping on the couch or something and they're just like tickling my armpits you know too much no no like their own wrist and hands like you know that that's a far cry from corporal punishment but well the thing is i i it didn't take me long as a parent to realize that like if i was really mad at them they would cry so really why do you have to beat these kids? So you're saying emotional damage is much more effective and easier to come by than physical damage. I mean, look, I won't pretend to have been perfect the whole way through. Did you know what I think my worst one ever was? Hope was 17 at the time.

You'd think I'd be a better parent by then. So let me tell this story. There's a lot baked into this. So I'm going to need a little 30 seconds. I wanted hope to have a driver's license in my mind. This driver's license was the key to a lot of like her world opening up, right. If she wanted a job, it'd be easier to maintain friendships around, you know, the neighboring towns. Like a lot of wonderful stuff would happen. Oh, selfishly, we wouldn't be driving her to school anymore. Like I thought that would be a cool thing.

But a lot of it was this. Oh, my God. I hate to even mention this, but obviously Jesus made a video. He got his driver's license when he was like 19 or 20. And he made a video saying, got his driver's license when he was like 19 or 20. And he made a video saying, people, you should do this. Like I was a shut in and, you know, I thought it was dumb. I didn't know it. But now that I have this, like my world opened up and I was like, all right, I need my kids not to turn out like that guy. And so we're getting her learner's permit or

something like that. Driver's license, one of these. And I told her that she had to have her paperwork together, and she didn't. So I went and I picked her up at school. We went directly from school to the DMV facility, and she didn't have her act together. She just didn't. And I don't know. There may have been some name-calling, but a lot of it was implied name-collaring. Like, you know,

you don't have your stuff? That's what a loser would do. Like, that kind of thing. But you yell it enough. This is the behavior of a real bitch! Yeah, yeah. I don't know if I call her stupid. I may have said that what she did

was stupid, but there were a couple of those, and she's in tears and I'm still mad. That might have been my worst parenting right there. But I was really upset, because contrast that with me. Dude, I was like an

expert on which forms of identification and what you needed to bring to the dmv i knew how to have your act together and she didn't and i was i was really upset with her that's an understandable thing to be upset about what have you found there was a lot baked into it in my mind mind. Like, a whole kind of, like, freedom, maturing, like, friendships. It wasn't like she just missed out on the good things she could have got. It was like she didn't take the little bad nugget that everybody else had. She, like, left that there, where it's like, ah, by not paying enough respect to get this in line, I'm showing that I'm not that considerate of your desire to not shuttle me around like a chauffeur.

And so you take it almost like an underhanded insult. Like, oh, I think I've got all theate of your desire to not shuttle me around like a chauffeur. And so you take it almost like an underhanded insult. Like, oh, I think I've got all the time in the world to just shuttle you around so you can't take 15 minutes and get your fucking three pieces of paper together. I hear you. But that was like 20% of it. The other 80% was what I wanted for her, which is like a whole life upgrade. You know, if your car was broken and you were suddenly trapped in your apartment, like that, yeah. Not that she was trapped, but whatever. So anyway.

That's pretty easily explained that she would miss part of that, right? I mean, this is like everything in life, right? Once you have the experience to realize that, you know, you had to fight for that experience. You don't have that starting with. It's like so many things I would have done differently in my life had I known better, but I didn gain that experience until much later so yeah i hear you like like i fought for my license like all health is that was freedom for me but it clearly wasn't such a priority for her it's interesting that that was a trigger for you yes that that was a big trigger for me i wanted her to to have like a life upgrade but um and i didn't what's the thing that because we're talking about corporal

punishment a bit and none of us have parenting experience what is the thing that if it if anything makes you be like god i would just smack you if i were a piece of shit dad right now like what is that thing that gets to you i think my wife i'm sure there's something that's like a like a niggling little my wife and daughter would yell at each other and neither one has any de-escalated them at the moment you know they're just higher and higher and higher and higher until eventually jackie hit her and no while i never hit my kids i was on board with it i like that it's out there i like that the threat you know i don't i don't need to hit them, but I like that the threat exists. You know, you guys are too young for happy days. But at one point, Fonzie was like, hey, man, you know, you don't even have to hit them.

Just stand up and say, don't do that. So Richie Cunningham tries that and it doesn't work at all. And he's like, all right. At one point, you have to have beat somebody up for this to work. Left that out. So somehow there's a parallel in there to my wife just doing the, I think it was twice. It might have been once. The one hit.

And I'm like, aha, now you know. That's a tool in the toolbox. That's a handy precedent to set, having that slap echoing out in the ether somewhere. So next time she's thinking about misbehaving. How many kids do you have? I have a boy and a girl. The girl 18 and the boy is oh soon to be 18 and the boy just turned 14 is there a difference you think in the because i think about it in like genders right so i feel like that i don't have children i don't want children but if i did have children i feel like

that would be more likely to be a triggering thing with the boy than it would be with the girl. Like I would feel like there would be that like element. So it's interesting you said like your wife ended up at one point smacking your daughter. And like you think that was because of the genders, the gender played into that at all? See, so my son has special needs and that brings in a whole new set of things. Like if he misbehaves sometimes, you know, and I don't want to call out like things he does wrong because it might be like we don't share his hardest moments but um you know if he does something that we think is wrong it might be like well like you don't know what's going on between his ears in the same way that you might everyone else and we maybe cut him maybe he gets away with murder sometimes

because he's special needs and and you know we can attribute it to that and so yeah i have a a video that i'd like us to watch um probably don't need the audio too loud not in english um i'm not sure what to make of this i just found it and it's it's uh yeah i'm just gonna mute this and read the subtitles just i i'm paused at one it's just a wonderfully friendly old woman standing there with a green screen behind her wearing a long gray coat and when she extends her arms i expect to see some wings sewn into that coat and it looks to be blue jeans yourself wings kicking out to the bottom it's a do-it-yourself wingsuit. No, it is not.

She's role-playing flying. Ready, set, play. Are there closed captions? Yeah. I don't have any. Click CC. She's finally got the helmet on. Yeah, yeah.

So she's standing. Wow, look at that eagle. The slowest CGI eagle ever. So this woman, all she's done is turned around and bent over, facing the screen behind her. Nice ass. And it's showing footage of a real paraglider. And that's a nice 78-year-old octogenarian ass

right up on the screen. It's literally like an 80-year-old Russian woman in front of a green screen and she's bent over saying, without fear, what pleasure. She's got her... Look how her wingsuit is put together.

It's got chip clips. Have you seen the store commercial for Samsung? No. No? Oh, my God. So I saw it as like a preview kind of before Fast and Furious. I loved it so much. It was better than any of the trailers.

Do you want me to find it? I'm sure it's on YouTube. She turns on her rockets in just a few seconds. Yes, the rocket landing, I skipped ahead a bit, I admit it's worth the wait. Maybe. Oh Jesus, the rockets are on.

There are people down below her. She's landing amongst them. They're all watching. The footage they're using is obviously of someone doing a real aeronautical feat. Whatever fucking kind of feat. And they're filming this person coming down, but it just shows this lady Kamehameha waving or whatever.

Dragon Ball Z-ing her way. I like the audio. Look at those old woman shoes, too. Oh, yeah. Those are like the audio. Look at those old woman shoes, too. Oh, yeah, those are like hospital shoes. Yeah, that's like why even bother putting a soul on them. They're not going to get enough mileage to matter. This lady's entire channel is devoted to making the most out of her green screen. I look at the related videos.

There's one where she's walking a tightrope between buildings in Dubai. It's all shit like this with her using her green screen to do cool stuff. That's all you're writing. That's all shit like this with her using her green screen to do cool stuff That's all you're gonna abuse That's all that this is this Featured video is written in Russian or some one of those shit languages, and she's just sitting there clearly at a desk Pretending she's wet with fake water all around her yeah, I guess hiding behind a green sheet You know what her videos are silly but she's got spunk and i like her she's got spunk yeah i like her too she's maybe because we're

peers i don't know but i look at her and i'm just like you know what you could turn out a lot worse like she's fun i bet and i bet she could do some really cool things with that green screen with corporal punishment like she could combine the two last topics we had and just really bring something to the table with that. I'd really like to see that. Be like, this is what happens to Steve. And then just do a special effects beheading of Steve or something like that. I see where you're headed. I brought up this Samsung ad.

Let's watch it. All right. It's two minutes. So it's – but I – I like it a lot. To me, it's amazing. Are Ostrich. So it's... But I... I like it a lot. To me it's amazing. Are you guys queued up at zero?

Yeah. Ready, set, play. So we're out in the desert and there's a whole bunch of ostriches. And one of them sees a building. He's kind of wandering over to it. What's this? There's a little VR setup here. A Samsung headset. Oh, it's this? There's a little VR setup here. A Samsung headset.

Oh, it's on him! I think he was trying to steal food and it just happened. And it's a flight simulator. So he's in a flight simulator now. He's getting to fly for the first time ever. And he's loving it. His mouth opens. He's like ruffling his feathers. Do you think the one we just watched prior to this And he's loving it because he's his mouth opens. He's like ruffling his feathers Do you think the one we just watched prior to this was her like remake of this ever? I did see work the idea in my head

running blindly through the field with the PR Well, this commercial very much benefits from the fact that the ostrich default face always looks like a little bit amazed that the ostrich default face always looks like a little bit amazed. Baffled, even. He's using it all night. Yeah. Fuck the rest of my friends. It's inspiring.

I loved it. That's so like a bird. To discover something brand new, share it with none of the family, and then just leave it next to some bush in the distance to just use later by himself, like a pornography magazine in middle school. So I've talked before about how I'm not really a bird person, right? In this whole paramotor thing, I am a fish out of water. I wonder, are my tastes changing? Because I see this commercial, and I think I might have teared up the first time.

Yeah, that's really inspiring. You said you're not a bird man, and you've seen this commercial, and now? Now he likes birds. Wait, the commercial made you like birds so there's all right someone's done fucked up when they made this commercial that was the take-home message yeah oh it doesn't sell to me really but but here here's the thing and i'll say it in fast forward because i've explained it before um i was talking to eric farewell and eric farewell was like birds have it made right birds have it great you't know him, but he's a paramotor instructor and he's a pilot and he's done air things since he was a teenager. And he just felt like birds

were like, they just get to fly around. They get to be themselves. It's their place. They have it made. And when he said that, it triggered a thing in me because I always felt that way about dolphins. Like if I could be something, I might give up my humanity to be a dolphin or a porpoise because I'm like, man, they've got it made, right? They just swim around with their friends, herd fish. They have no natural predators and they get to be in the water all the time. That to me was an ideal life. And I might be projecting a bit here, but I thought that's what was coming from him in his birds haven't made thing. And as you know, I don't know if you know, but I'm learning to fly this paramotor.

It's kind of a flying chair and it's quite the contraption. But like I might be becoming a bird person. Oh, don't take that that narrow path of people. There are few who walk the way of the bird person. Like, when you meet someone who has a pet bird, it's never like, oh yeah, my friend Tony has a pet bird too. I get a

hoot out of it. It's always like, oh, mental note of whose house I'm not coming to anymore. Mental note of next time Terry wants to grab a beer, it's like, oh, no, definitely my place. Bird free. 100%, I promise. And you need a little break from the fucking bird that you have in your home, and now you pretend you want to keep it there, even though it makes a ton of noise,

to pretend that you actually didn't waste $900 on some tropical bird. I don't want a bird. But Taylor is so right. Of the people I know that have birds, like, first of all, rule number one, this bird bites everyone but that guy, right? That's the thing. i hate everyone else in the

family has only learned to tolerate one person rule number two that house is fucked like you know oh yeah we've replaced that door so many times he just keeps eating a hole out of it and standing in the middle of the door at this point that's just what the door looks like like really like you tolerate that you have doors with bird holes in them so they can get around? And there's bird poop everywhere because you don't train birds. They're so inconsiderate with that. Bird houses. Birds aren't pets.

Birds aren't pets. No, you shouldn't keep birds as pets. Like, if someone has a good reason for, like, oh, I love my bird. Coming from a monkey enthusiast. I don't have a monkey as a pet. And as much as I may think I want a monkey as a pet, I guarantee day three with a monkey pet is an eye-opener. Because you're like, oh, my God, like, now I know why the monkey house at the zoo

smells like the monkey house at the zoo. Because now nobody wants to come hang out with me. I've become a bird person with a cooler pet, basically. It's a cooler pet, but the same effect as bird person. You can't even leave it in the cage. Really, I think that maybe I'm becoming a bird person because I think parrots are cooler than monkeys. Oh, that's provably false.

I can't remember if I told this on... I don't remember if I told this on PK Air or if I told this on my YouTube channel a long time ago. Did I ever talk about when... Yeah, they mimic noises, though. Sometimes at appropriate times. I told this on my YouTube channel a long time ago. Birds can talk. Yeah, they mimic noises, though. Sometimes at appropriate times. Well, that's because the person teaches them appropriate things to say that are always appropriate. Like, give me a cracker!

Or fuck you! Actually, keeping a talking bird is a good way for anyone who comes to your house to know that you don't harbor any secret bigotries. So you're not screaming racial epithets at the top of your lungs as soon as people leave. Because that would be very uncomfortable. Nigger! Yes, that would be a bird. That is a racist bird. I don't know where he learned that. I bought him in Atlanta. I can only assume that the person I procured him from is quite the racist.

A real potty dog. No, he's a red-breasted Alabama parakeet. I don't see the issue here. Kike! He's been doing that all morning. He's pretty anti-Semitic. That was funny. I think it's a Middle Eastern bird.

He's got like, I'm picturing him with the Confederate flag and his feather pattern. Yeah. Ah, rise again. Stage rights. Ah, stage rights. I like racist birds. You like racist birds?

Is that what you said, Phil? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's it. Yeah. I loved that commercial. I wasn't into it at first, but then when I saw what was going on there, and especially the ending when the bird has been inspired by the VR

and he gets all determined, like flares his little bird nostrils and gets his wings going and takes off. That was great. I really liked that commercial. Yeah, I did too. I thought it was awesome. So last night we got Taylor to come and play PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds

with us, Chiz and I. I've got about 20 hours in. I don't know how much time Chiz has, but a relatively similar amount of time. Just roughly, so that people don't know, it's a Battle Royale game. It's a PC shooter. You drop in on an island with nothing,

like just your clothes on your back and then you scavenge for weapons armor vehicles and such and then you battle it out you get one life you start with 100 players and you whittle it down to one winner or if you're playing duos two winners or if you're playing squad four winners uh and it's it's a it's 30 on steam it's a ton of fun but last night was your first experience taylor tell me about it so as a preface i can't understate or i can't overstate rather how much you and chiz were talking this game up of just non-stop like i'm loving it this is the greatest game ever i'm having a blast like taylor get on download it play you know taylor play it come on you gotta play with us like all right i will play i'll hop

on i'll get it and i watched a couple youtube videos and i'm like this looks pretty fun and so i got on and the whole time we're like in the pre-game lobby or whatever they're like all right so we're gonna pick a place to land and then we're gonna go right there usually like these games can take a little while so just follow where we go we'll get you equipped and get some stuff for you and then we'll take it slow from there, you know, because we have to make sure we stay within this parameters, because every so often the map shrinks, and so even if you're trying to camp it out,

you have to eventually move to make sure you're not basically excised from the game. And I'm like, okay, this will be fun. I was wrong. The game starts, and we're all on this plane, this big cargo plane, the one that gets the worried white guy in Band of Brothers looks out the window and then he's, ah! And then the whole thing blows up. It was one of those. And you wait and

then Kyle sets the waypoint on the map. You hit F and all of us kind of at the same time jump out and we start parachuting to the ground. Immediately I notice it's like this. Here's me jumping out of the plane. And then here's Chiz, Kyleyle and whoever the other fucking guy was just straight down to the waypoint as my guys up there

just waving around like to the point that i'm starting to get a little bit agitated because i look down i see all of them landed on the ground and you're already in there. I'm just landing as I hear Chiz go, police vest, level two. I'm like, you asshole. I didn't get anything. So first game, Kyle goes, run over to me, Taylor. We'll get you in this house, get you set up. Running, I'm running.

Kyle makes it through the house. You still following me, Taylor? Yeah, I'm right behind you. Get to the door. Bang, dead. Shot in the back. My guy goes on all fours and then the guy comes back and execution style blows my head off with a shotgun and kyle goes oh taylor's dead taylor's dead and then runs upstairs and quickly after you guys all quit out for me after you guys died to

game two taylor that's ridiculous that's ridiculous this never happens in that game like i swear we played our first night and never had that happen. It's freak luck. Chiz backed him up. It's freak luck, Taylor, says Chiz. Liar. Got in the plane again. Got in the plane again. I'm hoping I'm going to be that guy, that worried white guy looking out the corner,

seeing a rocket coming so I can get back to watching Godfather. But no. I'm on the plane. Hit down F, and I jump out with him. Kyle tells me, point your arrow down. So I figure out how to kind of go a little faster with that. The skydive. And get on the ground. We're all closer

together. Thank God. Okay, this won't be too bad. It'll be fine. Head into that farmhouse, Kyle says. So I take it up and I start running. At least I thought I was running. I didn't know how to run yet. Yeah, you gotta press shift. We learned that. And I realized like, oh my God, all these guys, like, they must have leveled up and got some conditioning because my guy is not in the right shape.

Like 30 feet behind him, they all make it into the house. I get to a different house, pick up a shitty gun, and missed six times as someone came around the building and killed me easily. Just like, no. missed six times as someone came around the building and killed me easily just just like no and the whole point of it is is i was mad the whole time at them saying it's fun it's fun it'll be better because i was saying the whole time like it's not that i don't get what i'm supposed to be doing i don't know how to play computer games and so the whole time i looked like when you hand an old person an xbox controller and they're like looking up and then walking to the side and then looking over.

I was running in front of Chiz once and he was giving me shit because I ran to the side of the door and then tried to jump over above a very small plastic solo cup or some shit and couldn't get over that. It was just embarrassing. We didn't know that you'd never played a PC game

ever as far as where you control a character in third or first person. So that's like WASD, like W-A-S-D is your controls, and you don't have that down. So it's a massive learning curve. So I think next time we play, you should use the Xbox controller, wire that bad

boy in, and I think it's not as precise, like you'll never be as good as you could be on, but you'll get to play. Like it, you know, like it... At you could be on. But you'll get to play. Yeah. Because at this point, I'm just missing every shot. Do you not feel like you just should be investing the time to learn WASD rather than plugging in a controller and never stepping up? No, because I won't play it enough. So the problem with it, with this game,

is I was talking to Kyle and Chiz last night when we were playing. I was like, you know, when they were saying, like, this know when they were saying like this is good practice no it's not i'm getting into every game picking up a gun maybe and then the first person i see i'm just blam blam blam quick whip over here blam blam blam missing them all and then i die and so it's like i'm not even getting enough practice moving and shooting you're getting reps. You're getting no real practice. It probably took me 150 hours of WASD before I was as good as I am now. I'm pretty good at the game.

I'm shocked that I am. I suck fucking dick at Counter-Strike Source, but if we play squads, they better be on their A-gamer. I'll kill the whole fucking squad. To Kyle's credit, you got a couple of clutches because the game is in four squads. You would notice as you're diving down like you know all the shit talking about the game i'm mostly joking it is gonna be a lot of fun once i'm able to

control the fucking dude but you'll see like four other people that you don't know coming down in the same area as you and you're basically like okay we gotta fucking get in that house first because everybody's looking for a gun and there there were a couple times that, of course, I was dead spectating Kyle. And you can describe what you did better than I did, but you just ran the fucking gauntlet on a couple people. Yeah, yeah. There's like, I'd already killed one other squad, and there was like three of them up,

and I like looked down a long distance, and I see one of them murdering Chiz, and I scope in at like 100 yards and kill him with my AK and sprint. Take a minute, breathe, wait, scope in. Wait till he finishes Chiz, and I scope in like 100 yards and kill him with my AK and sprint. Take a minute, breathe, wait, scope in. Wait until he finishes Chiz off. Oh, Chiz was a goner. He was not going to make it out of this. He's 100 yards away.

I knocked the guy that was hurting him, knocked him out, which meant that he had to be revived, and I flanked around, and I killed all three of their team. I just mopped them all up, got the guy who was down, got the guy who was picking him up, flanked around and turned around and sound toward the last guy and killed him. Do you remember anything unique that happened in

our third or fourth game, which was the first game that I actually got to pick up a weapon and a police vest? We had a mishap? Remind me. Okay, so in our fourth game... Yeah, you remember now.

Yeah, so this game... So there's a lot of fast Twitch reflexes in this game. I'm going to... Did he startle you, Kyle? Did you shoot him? He startled me. I see where this is headed. There's a lot of creeping, crouch-walking through buildings

and listening for bad guys, and a door opened in front of me, and I had not pressed F, so I just went, BAM, BAM! And Chiz hits the... I mean, Taylor hits the floor dead. I picked him up and gave him

some medpacks. He was good to go again but I wasted his ass. You know what he did though that was aggravating is I walked into the bottom floor of that building that I was looking through and I saw level 2 police vest for armor and I was like oh fucking right like I'm picking stuff up now. This is fun like alright police vest on.

I'd already had a level one police vest in the first place we checked, so that goes on the floor. I went upstairs, kept looking around, find a shotgun in one of those rooms, turn around, and I see Kyle's icon coming around because I heard footsteps. I was like, oh, it's just Kyle. Nothing to worry about. I open the door. Kyle kills me,

destroys my level two police vest. It blows off of him. It blows off of me. Then as he's leaving, that insult to injury goes, hey, there's a level 2 police vest, and then blows off of me. And then as he's leaving, that insult to injury goes hey, there's a level 1 police vest on the floor for you to pick up down here. And I just wanted to be like, yeah, it's the one I just fucking dropped down there to get this better one

until you blew my chest out. But other than that... That's one of the cool aspects of the game. If you've got a helmet on, someone shoots you in the head, it blows your fucking helmet off and damages it so it doesn't work anymore. The draw distance I think is the term, the distance that you can see players. Okay, thanks.

The render distance, the distance that you can spot an enemy player and then engage them is fucking outrageous and highly dependent on optics, which are rare. So if you score an 8 power or even a 15 power scope, you have a superpower that no one else possesses. You can see them and

you're not even rendered in on their screen. So there's lots of long, long distance shots. You mentioned that before, but you didn't mention scoping in. If I have this optic in my inventory, does that help me? You've got to zoom in. You've got to use the optic to look. You look through the optic.

But the nature of the game is such that you have time. It's not like COD where you look through an optic and there's someone tapping on your shoulder. No. This is very widespread open. You start on an island that would probably take 20 minutes to run across, like full-out sprinting, maybe 30 minutes. Oh, it's annoying.

I have a question about the map shrinking. When the map shrinks, do you just find yourself dead? Or is it slowly getting darker out? How does that mechanic work? So you pull up your map, you press M, and you get the big map. And you see your position and everything else's position. And there is a ring that encompasses the play area. And it'll be blue.

And then it'll create a white ring within that one. And that is going to be the next play area and it'll be blue. And then it'll create a white ring within that one. And that is going to be the next play area. So that blue is going to shrink to that white and there's a timer letting you know how long it's going to be before the shrinking occurs. And it progressively that thing shrinks slower and slower

but does more and more damage if you're in the fog of death outside. So if you step outside for a minute, you don't die. In fact, if you med kit up real quick and sprint, you can survive outside in it for a while, like a minute or two. Wait, are you saving a house in the fog? No, no. You see this blue sort of

semi... When you say outside, you mean outside the blue. Yes, I do. You see this blue semi-transparent bubble that shrinks around you. And that's the play area. So at the end, if you're playing solo, there will be like six or eight players who are shrunk into this tiny play area. Where guys are just laying prone in gullies and sitting in bushes because there's just not enough cover. And it's super, super intense.

I've only won once. But if you win, you're the best out of a hundred or at least the last remaining out of a hundred, which is more at probably more. And there were a couple of times where I'm pretty sure I like, I was like the 90 or I know I was number 97 who died or something where it was like, as soon as the game starts, like I die and be like, well, let's see how many other people died. Oh, just so just me so far. OK.

You were that one guy who ejected over the ocean. Oh, so Taylor dies. And two other people quit. Didn't even beat them. All right, perfect. Yeah, but it's, oh, and the other thing. Yeah, it's a cool game. I was, Woody mentioned that it would be cool for me

to stream this game the other day. And I was thinking, yeah, it would. But my internet's complete shit. And then two nights ago, Chiz linked me to this thing that's, I think it's like Verizon LTE wireless card. So I ordered that thing overnight. It should be here now. Maybe it got

delivered as we're doing this. But I think I'll be able to stream from it. It's like $250 a month. I should have 4G LTE from it. I was reading online what speeds other people had gotten, and they're getting like 10 up, 40 down.

I may replace my whole home internet with this thing. You can definitely stream off that. You may. Oh yeah, for sure. Because it's wireless, you might drop more packets, you might have some latency, you might end up choosing to game off of your wired connection and stream off of the other. That was my thought, to improve

the overall, because it seems like I've got a good enough connection to game. I do pretty well. I don't feel like it's lag induced losses. I feel like it's hurting you much. Yeah, yeah. Nah, I do fine. So yeah, I think I'm gonna whenever, like either tonight or tomorrow, I'm gonna start testing that thing out.

And I think it really would be cool to stream this game because it's so much fun. And these games, the ones with Taylor lasted. He asked me before we even kicked it off. He's like, what's the length of a game? Because in Civ, if someone asks you that question, you're like... What, a quick game of Civ? Three to eight hours, and sometimes 12 hours if you get into a fucking war of contrition.

But in this game, it could be 2 minutes. You can drop in. This is a funny moment that happened. When you drop in, you drop in naked, completely unarmed. And at first, anything and everything is a viable weapon. You find a frying pan, now I got a frying pan.

He's fucked. He's got nothing. He's got a punch and I'm just gonna ding ding ding and he's dead So every now and then we'll land and I'll be like, ah, he's got nothing get him shit Chiz and I got in a fistfight with this guy in a shack about two square feet and He knocks Chiz out and I I beat him to fucking death with my bare. And that was one of the more satisfying kills I've gotten. The most satisfying kill I've gotten in the entire game is Chiz was spectating me and I was in a

room. I kill one guy. Another guy kills Chiz. I shoot that guy but now I'm completely out of ammo and the third member of their squad comes in and all I have is a sickle. It's like a handle with a curved blade. And this guy has a double barreled shotgun so he goes kaboom kaboom and then he's gotta break the thing down eject the shells and put two more in but if

you sprint it cancels all that so i'm chasing him around the house with a fucking sickle and chop him into fucking pieces and took all of his shit it was so goddamn satisfying when i finally like took him down he was dead that that was my favorite kill thus far. I got hit by a car in the third game. Yeah, when I... Go ahead. Jizzy's good at video games. Just to lay this out, curiously good. It doesn't matter what it is.

It could be Mount Your Friend, Speed Runner, even Civilization and Magic the Gathering. He just seems to be better than his play hours would typically imply you are. How is he doing? I think I'm the best of us. He is our driver, and he's definitely the best at driving because he keeps doing it, and he gets more practice at it.

So he definitely drives us around, and he's the best at that. But I think I'm the best with the gun skill, and I might be the best at parachuting in and hitting my pinpoint drop location I'm pretty good at gauging when to dot it's kind of complicated with the skydiving and the paragliding you have to use some real world tactics

you have to spill some air out of your wing to drop a little faster and start doing loop de loops coming in to drop a little faster I try to get to I try to hit 230 kilometers per hour on the way down. If you do, you open your parachute a little bit later. There's lots of tack. You can sort of do this swimming maneuver

while you're skydiving to get a little more momentum. So I try to jump and get really far away from everybody and then paraglide really far in, again, like rocking back and forth. I don't want a big initial gunfight. But yeah, it's a really fun game. It feels like you're in a Mad Max universe or something like that.

And if you played Arma or DayZ or anything like that, it's that, but now it's fun. There isn't that... I know there's lots of modded versions of those games that don't involve three hours of scrounging for a Coke can and some water, but I'd never played any of them that I actually enjoyed as much as this,

and for $30. I'm a big fan. Yeah, it is a cool game. The world is enormous, like, way bigger than I thought. Like, when we were running across, like, a field or something, I was always like, there's got to be someone nearby, because we're in the middle of a field,

and you can see far in every direction. Like there's a hundred people on this map but like now you it really is like way it's a way bigger map than i thought it was going to be basically it is there's like there's multiple cities all over it yeah you should join in i have passable wasd skills like i that i chis and i talked about this um either this morning or yeah this morning we were talking about this because because we we didn't know taylor didn Wazdi, and I think he'll be confident with a controller, but I was saying Woody would be plenty competent at this. He's played Battle Royale at

Minecraft, gargantuan amounts of hours. Like, this is that. Now he just has to learn how to, like, shoot an M16 in the game, and he's got it. So you could totally jump in and play with us and be competent. Yeah, yeah, I'm not good or anything at Wazdi, but I'm, I mean, it um so you could totally jump in and play with us and be competent yeah yeah i'm not like good or anything at wasd but i'm i mean even minecraft is wasd and i would play that like 16 hours a day

for a year like i can move around i'll be fine yeah i get it yeah i don't i'm getting better and better at it by the day i'm i every the more competent i get at it the more like hot keys and and extra keys that I use I add. I can strafe jump now. I can jump and hop to the side and make myself difficult to kill. And I get multi-kills now. At first, I was just a... God, I felt so helpless.

I'd get into a gunfight and it was like, I'm going to lose this unless I get that scenario where he runs right up into my barrel and I get to just kill him with one shot. But I don't know what else to say about that game. Check it out if you're listening to this and you like Battle Royale or PC Shooters, get on. Me and Chiz have been playing a bunch and these other two are probably going to hop in and play with us some and I like to get

squads with fans. That's how I got my chicken dinner. That's what it's called when you win one it says winner winner chicken dinner and I won a squad game with some fans. So I have a new topic. This is the one that I didn't want to kick off the show with because it was a little too uh a little too risky yeah yeah yeah so we went with children and corporal punishment and being choked in poems that was the easy one what is this so to lead this off as you guys know on reddit i have a lot of karma, at least by my standards, like 136,000.

I don't even know. It is 136,000. Anyway, it gets me into what they call the Century Club. There is an exclusive portion of Reddit for people that have more than 100,000 karma. And when I got there, I was largely disappointed until two days ago. So this is the conversation that the guy stoked up. So I'm dating a squirter. Holy fuck.

Not even the cute, I just came, there's a wet spot type. Like the full on blast me in the face, now there's a pool taking up a quarter of my king size type. I'm not so much, it's not so much the distance or force, but sheer volume. I would put this at well over a liter and probably closer to two liters. I get that this is probably mostly pee or whatever, which is definitely not my thing, but I'm not that grossed out by it, and she's already insecure about what goes down.

We put a towel down. Not enough. Not enough. I think I might have to resort to either putting down a garbage bag on my bed with a towel on top of the garbage bag or getting a mattress cover and changing the sheets before bed. Nah, rubber sheets, bro. It happens with any type of vaginal orgasm, whether I'm working the G-spot or just the old-fashioned penis way. However, it doesn't seem to be as bad with just a clit orgasm or bullet vibrator. Does anyone have experience with this?

I can't make a Facebook post. Wow, that's great. If anybody is losing two liters of fluid regardless of... It doesn't matter. Put spit, cum, blood, bile, any two liters removing, getting out of the body. You got a problem. Head to an urgent care.

I want to know what happens with orgasm too. She multi-orgasmic. We straight up body fat and it would be great if i could just take out two liters of body fat i would be that's not liquid though if you vomited two liters of fat from your stomach up and then went in the bathroom like oh my god this is great like that's different but any two fluids come out of your two liters of any fluid can't be good sorry filthy stomped on you what were you saying no it's saying? So, I'm curious now. I want more details about this. Is she multi-orgasmic? Is, like, orgasm two the same? Is it, like,

two liters per time? No. Well, she'd be bled dry and, like, six-liter Sally. She'd look like the fucking Crypt Keeper. She'd be all fucking amazing. She'd look like Spongebob when she was in Sandy's air sphere.

I'm hunting down for more information. Some people are questioning the two liter thing. And he says, well, I'm ballparking here. I'm not an expert at measuring vaginal fluids or anything. But I'd honestly say that over the course of two hours, it's close to two liters. And she's not a super big girl either. Maybe 5'8", 140. People are saying,

weigh her before and after sex. Yeah! Yeah, that's what you should do. Because this guy is... This is also a guy who maybe you ask him, like, hey, how many gallons of water do you think is an Olympic-sized pool? And he goes,

like, 10 billion? Maybe a trillion gallons? Probably like a trillion gallons right like how many like more gallons than i can imagine how much is a girlfriend squirt like four liters i don't know i'm not good with measurements like this much he replied to that they said where before and after sex he said genius i'll reply or i'll make sure that she's lazy so that there's no sweat loss um i mean clearly it's someone just lying on the internet funny but like uh you know if you ever experience a partner out there kids who's losing two liters hell a liter of any fluid during sex

you need to revise that. You'll get him to the hospital. He's getting more feedback here. Or a Gatorade or something. This is not him. This is another Redditor saying, it sounded great on paper, this is his experience, but in reality it was more of a hassle with my bedding.

If it was just about anywhere else, it wouldn't be a big deal, but I feel your pain banging on the bed and getting a blast of what is p and he said thank you like someone finally gets him it looks great in porn but the reality of having to deal with it in your own room is not so much fun stop fucking in the bedroom then there's plenty of other places to fuck this sounds like a great place for shower sex yeah really it's limited to the shower or bathtub now. Maybe outdoors. Jesus, what a mess. Yeah, honestly, this seems like a porch.

Let's finish this in the backyard, honey. I just can't clean anymore. I'm all out of fucking Mr. Clean. The sponges are all gone. There's no more Brillo pads. Can we fuck over the chrysanthemums? Come on. You could do a guest bedroom with rubber sheets or something like that. Easy to clean

surfaces. You could have a sexy room for that. Shop vac. I was watching a guy fix his washing machine the other day and he had to unscrew this thing and there was going to be a lot of water loss. So he stuck a shop vac right up under the part he was unscrewing and all the water that spilled went right into the shop vac. Perfect. This guy needs a shop vac.

While he's fucking, he puts the shop vac in. Just like an astronaut. He has his own cleanup, too. Casanova here has the answer to Filthy's question. They're like, are you sure it's that much, etc.? And he says, well, I was thinking it was for sure, but everyone here seems to think I overestimated, so I'll assume I have. Maybe it's clear if I say that over the course of two-hour sex, maybe five to seven squirt sessions, she says that when she does it, it's not a full regular orgasm.

It just feels really good without the climax and relief. She's just peeing repeatedly during sex. She has an incontinence problem. Does she go into, is she like squirming before sex? Like, come on, let's get to it. Come on. We've got to hurry up. I can't do this anymore. Hey, hey, hey.? Like, come on, let's get to it. Come on. You gotta hurry up. I can't do this. Hey, hey, hey.

Here, have another one. Come on, come on. That's what she's doing. She's rushing you into sex, but she has to pee a lot. How unseemly. That would be a real mess to deal with on a regular basis. I gotta agree. And you could get the rubber sheets. I've seen those advertised, but

you've still got to puddle. You've got to puddle. That means that it's going to collect all of the urine. If it's just pee, she really might be coming up with a liter seems like a lot. Half a liter, though. Quart. A little more than a quart.

I'm shocked. Apparently two hours and five tees. This chick is is not being a court over the course of having sex yeah i maybe if she drank a lot are you the legitimacy i bet you i bet you this is happening like i mean the tone i mean just just hearing from what he's talking just from the tone of the voice like the apologetic the kind of like you know you guys might be right let me double check this he's asking for help on a sensitive subject it kind of feels in large part like i could see this this is this is probably an extreme of human behavior right like you're probably not it's not going to be like a regular thing not a lot of girls are doing this probably but it's probably there's

probably someone out there actually having to deal with it it's kind of it's kind of this is my favorite part about filthy like i don't you have like a master's degree in sex or something like what yeah kind of yeah yeah i have a psychology's degree in sex or something? Yeah, kind of. I have a psychology degree. We did intimate relationships. It was my field of study. So he says, yeah, this is at the end of the bell curve, but a possibility. I'm kind of curious.

So your bladder can hold two cups during the day, so like 16 ounces or so, 300 to 400 milliliters. And about twice that much at night. Have you ever read, Taylor, where squirting comes from? Because I don't know where it comes from. So I know the mix is supposedly a large portion of urine. It's coming from the urethra. Yeah, I'm pretty sure the overwhelming majority is urine.

There's a gland that has something to do as well. What is squirting? Let's put that on my screen. In other words, is it a separate reservoir than the bladder that this is coming from somewhere? It's mostly pee. Yeah, no, I understand that it's mostly urine. But yes, there is. For the listeners, people might not know, they did like a chemical analysis of it.

And it is virtually identical to pee but there's a little special sauce mixed in you know trace amounts of this and that uh it comes from the urethra which is what you pee out of but so does come and comes not pee so you know there could be that's a strong point so does come and comes not pee I defy you to tell me otherwise sir at what point in childhood did you figure that out were any of you of the bunch that thought that peeing into a vagina was where babies came from

you got some real mixed signals somewhere along the way no my mom explained sex to me like so nonchalantly and I was not ready for it I like asked her she was driving me to my friend stewart's house and i was like six or seven and i was like just absentmindedly looking out the window said something like hey how how do how does do a mommy daddy make a new kid because i'm sure like a new kid came along to one of my friends and obviously that's how that question

gets asked a lot and my mom just driving the minivan just explained most of sex to me like not in like the birds and the bees way just like and then the man's penis becomes erect he puts it into the woman's vagina and it feels very good but only for married people and i was just sitting back there like man it's gonna be a different afternoon at stewart's house we've got a whole thing like stewart clear off the docket i've got a lot of things to tell you that's awesome but she was like and the way she explained it was very nonchalant and casual and it obviously wasn't like lewd or anything it was just in it just kind of made sense and i didn't so that was it i've told the story of mine so i'll just fast forward it um there was a girl

on my neighborhood who um she basically what happened is she somehow combined what we know as sex and a c-section into one procedure and it was very frightening for me i explained it to my mom and i was like oh my god a csection? Like she thought that part of reproduction. I thought sex involved like cutting open the woman's stomach, like putting the penis in there. And like, I don't remember the disease, but it was all. Her idea of how reproduction went on included that. Not she had actually included this in some weird way.

No, this is a girl in my street who was about my age, laid it out there for me. And it was a scary, bloody affair with some stuff involved and whatever. So I told my mother about it and how I was very concerned. She set me straight, and I actually asked her,

I was like, it's still a little scary. Will you hold my hand the first time? And she promised that she would. Aww. And she kept her promise. And she did. At the time, you really resisted yeah I remember what she had the eye scraper there is at one point where she won that round I know

what he hasn't done he always says I would have been there um see that happened I've had that little girl's parents now didn't explain it right oh yeah how did you do it what did you approach so with hope of course was first she's four years older it was kind of wrapped up into this like you know what girls need to know because menstruation is coming conversation so it was like all right that thing down there there's a lot going on and uh you know this is what sex is this is what menstruation is this is how your cycle works and it was just what age did you wait to to do that too for hope approximately 11 something like that i don't love it i think

it's too late by then like they're gonna um i think she learned from it my wife did most of it with colin i did most of it and uh we bought a book like understanding your body or something and we read it together so like kind of like everyone's homeschooled yeah kind of but colin's homeschooled so we just like let's do a health class mixed it in yeah and you know went through the chapters yeah that that's probably i i bet it would be a lot easier to like handle awkward subjects like that if you're already homeschooling. Just blending it into the rest of the studies. Like, oh, math's over.

Now we're going to do a little health studies. We're going to learn about animal reproduction. At the end of animal reproduction, where you won't feel awkward at all, you'll be like, and the same is true for people. Genie ejaculates four liters of liquid after consuming seven liters in the previous... Yeah, that's what you need for kids. Yeah, with Hope, as I think about it, I wonder how intimidating it was for her. Because it's like, all right, hey, here's Mom walking into your bedroom,

giving you a topic about laying this out for you. Not something we do every night. Or turn off the tv and start covering like pubic hair and stuff like that's uh that's weird but with colin it's like oh we teach him every day just we gotta let off or flip side you know there's something to be said about the anonymity of uh like a health class or something in a school where you can ask questions and not have it be your parents judging your questions for example yeah yeah you got to be a really good teacher if you're a parent right you got to like think ahead to like the like like weird things

that they might have notions about that these preconceived notions about that you get from other kids like like fucking a c-section incision or peeing in a vagina like seriously like that poor girl we were just talking about like the girl who's putting out two liters of fluid every time like i bet you heard like home talk wasn't quite enough you know well i said well sex is gonna be a little bit different you know you have a vagina blah blah blah and then her experience with that is totally birds and the bees wasn't where she went off the beaten path that was potty training she deviated a much earlier talk usually usually pe Usually. Oh, no, I never pee. Peeing is dirty. I never pee. I just wait till six.

Unless I'm in the shower or in bed. That would be funny if she's like, no, I... My fucking idiot boyfriend's over there boasting on the internet about it. It smells like asparagus in the whole bedroom and he's diluting himself. I can just see them shopping for a new comforter. How absorbent is it?

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Kyle I've got a question for you you have to have a third nipple or I guess it can be for all of you you have to have a third nipple or i guess it can be for all of you you have to have a third nipple all right you get to pick where it is where i put it on my gooch because you're already going to be down there pleasuring me you might as well have a little thing you can put your thumb on right put a nipple right on your gooch between your asshole and your balls perfect positioning no one will ever see it unless you want them to um you don't have some weird nipple on your shoulder or something nipple on your gooch i don't know you ever you ever done like running and like had

it where like the shirt chased your nipple for some stupid reason or something to eating a little cotton i was gonna say i'm probably gonna be wearing all your all your lifelines let's put them down there if you do anything gonna be getting some sweat down there it seems like you'd have a nipples that same softer skin, you know? I don't think I'd want it there. Your balls are down there. I mean, those do okay. What if it was right above your dick?

Balls are designed that way. Just like a cyclops eye for Snuffleupagus down there, right? No. No, that's gross. What do you mean, don't be gross? What do you mean, gross? What do you mean, don't be gross? What am I gross? It would be like a one-eyed snuffleupagus

and all Kyle's plaything arguments. What if you talk about penis envy? Switch that around. I don't want a nipple right above my dick pretending to be a clit but has no fucking sensation. It would have a little sensation. Nipple sensation, not clit sensation. Yeah, right. And it would look like a fucking nipple right above your dick how many girls are gonna be like

oh man i'm really happy we had a great dinner i had a wonderful time uh i'm gonna go down on you right oh no i'm not no i'm not i'm actually gonna call the police because an alien has invaded some foreign you know body is here but yeah i was honestly thinking the gooch too kyle really thieved that thunder from me i thought that was a great idea wait that's now but then now filthy's tilting me too because i didn't even think like well now you've just got a chafee nipple between your legs it's like oh fuck filthy totally won me i think and and by the way but you haven't presented a place yet to be fair it could be a hairy nipple right like you could cover it with pubes if you need to, or you could shave it and expose the anime character you have, a genitalia.

Shave the perimeter. Leave it amongst a tuft of pubic hair. So it looks like a huge, hokey sore. Just a complete snuffleupagus thing. Another bad reason to have this down here. It's very wart-like. What is that? There's a bump with some fucking hair sticking out of it.

No one's going to be excited to see that down there. Where are you going to put yours? Just in line with the other two? I don't know. I mean, people have a third nipple. Isn't it just right? I actually don't know. I don't think I've ever seen a third nipple.

Well, yeah, but that's, like, I'm saying that you probably, if you had a third nipple and you had a third nipple right here, like, I bet three nipple peoples look at that every morning and are like, god damn, if I could just move that somewhere else, I totally would. Like, they definitely would move it if they could. That's why I gave the option if you can put it anywhere. I don't know. This is probably the first time I've thought about my nipples

in a very fucking long time. I'm not sure that they would pay any attention whatsoever. Under the armpit? Same problem. I thought about that. It's going to get irritated. Friction point. No, no.

On top of your dick. It's perfect. The hand, you're going to... I can get air in your armpits to help with the friction no it'll just look like a wart hidden in underarm hair except it'll be like discolored skin patch like i'm you don't have to convince me they're the filthy and woody are the ones who have yet to come up with a better proposal than the gooch i'm on team gooch right now in my mind right above your dick as a like eyeball with a nose like an elephant, one-eyed elephant type thing, is honestly, sincerely my best idea so far.

No, you do not want another nipple near your waistband line getting rummaged and ruffled around. How low are you wearing your underwear? See a doctor, maybe. Where are you talking about it? You're talking about putting it right, just touching it. In your pubic hair. Almost. On top of your pubic hair.

How is that word pronounced? Arola? I only read it. Areola. Areola. Areola. Thank you. You're talking about putting it right just touching in your pubic hair Role I only read it Areola, thank you. Why don't I know that? Yeah, so here your areola. You know would just be To be part of the dick like just the edge the point joins the rest of you No, these are... This is a great idea. I don't know why you guys aren't on board.

I've clearly won this. The whole point of my question was to think of like, where is the best place you could have a third nipple. You guys, your proposal of putting it on your dick is like, I'd rather just have it in the normal third nipple spot than that. No. I think third nipple spot's probably pretty ideal. It's a little bit like a tattoo, you know?

Like, if I were to have a tattoo, I think I'd have it in a place, and a lot of girls do this, where you just reveal it to someone you want to see it. But you can always go out and, like, business attire. Well, for a third nipple, I'd take that a little further, except, you know, only exposed when you're not wearing a swimsuit.

Another idea, put it on your head and gamble that you never go bald. Or just put it back here, convert to Judaism. Problem solved. Yeah, I was

going to say, why don't you have a big areola and it's like a yarmulke for you. The nipple is like that spinny hat thing. Every morning you put your tassel on it, call it good. Yes, I want to hear from the comments because I think Gooch is the superior answer. No one can see it.

It's already there by some other pleasurable stuff. I feel like Taylor being on Team Gooch is really going to sway the crowd here. They're going to be influenced by what we say, but if they take the time to really perform their own analysis, they will find that Team Woody is where they want to be.

And not only are there anime conversations that we could have on this, but it really just works. The little nipple pounding and the action, it's all good. It's exactly where you need where you need no but you're at this stage of life you got a wife you got kids like that's all locked and loaded like if you 16 year old woody would not be so cavalier with a dick nipple oh 16 year old woody didn't have pubes in the middle yet he still had crabgrass on the side actually that, that's more like 15-year-old Woody. I just mean the Woody that was in the market, in the hunt, would have been very much –

Jackie, I bet, would have had a lot of second thoughts if she got down there and was like, Oh, man, this is – are my kids going to have – how many nipples are my kids going to have? Like, I don't know. There's got to be worse things they could find though like like extra nipple probably not that big a deal like genital herpes or something a little bit different of a story you know so i don't know i think you could i think you could sell that pretty well you'd have to be persuasive i mean you have to be you have to address that issue yeah third i'd rather be with someone with a third nipple that was tucked away somewhere than herpes.

So, you know, you got to make that trade-off. Right. Actually, you shouldn't have to make that trade-off. We're all better than that. We're all better than three-nippled people and herpes folk. Even though I guess everybody has herpes, right? Because everybody gets cold sores and canker sores and all that. No, I think it's HPV that pretty much everyone has. I don't think it's herpes right because everybody gets cold sores and canker sores and all that i think it's hpv that

pretty much everyone has i don't think it's herpes hpv that's what gives you canker sores no no it's not what gives you canker sores that's that's herpes i know hpv is is is very dangerous right some variants some of them do the cervical cancer stuff right yeah for women it goes to cervical cancer man a downer turn there for a second after after random just a quick note for people watching i know the layout's a little messed up because the people shifted when kyle dropped but usually wait a minute because kyle tends to come back quickly he does he comes back quick yeah so if you could do the show like this for a minute. I just move up? Yeah, Taylor's perfect. Filthy's a little low. If I could get another two, three inches.

A little low? Yeah. Oh, yeah. We're like, tumbling now. Oh, perfect. Perfect. Yeah, man. You guys are great. You look like that. Yeah, I don't know. Now we're good. It's kind of funny. I have another topic? Oh, go ahead.

No, no, no. Actually, I kind of want Kyle back. I was realizing the one that I was going to talk about is what we were talking about before the show with Kyle where it's the Game of Thrones one. I figured we wanted all four of us for the Game of Thrones one.

I'm kind of interested in this too. Yeah, I'm interested in it too. I haven't heard anything about it so this would be an interesting topic for me to hear about. it's linked in the chat for everybody in there could do everyone should hate me for this appropriately some politics stuff happened today that health care bill got passed i am on a high level i keep watching trump's presidency waiting for everyone to be like okay okay, Woody, you're right.

I admit it. Like, this is going a little off the rails. But that doesn't happen. Sorry. You are waiting for people to be like, this is ridiculous? And no one's saying that? I'm trying to hear you. I'm not trying to judge.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm waiting for Trump's base to erode. Okay, Taylor's right. There are people saying that, especially in the news and such. But his base is still there saying, no, this is our guy. He's doing the things. He's for the little man, et cetera. He just passed the health care bill, which is really about removing benefits for the lower class

and bringing a tax cut to the upper class. That's what the health care plan they passed does. Shocks. I mean, what was the... I just don't see how making it so that people have to pay more for their pre-existing conditions is helping the blue-collar worker that got them in there. That's not a thing.

To be fair, anything that really helped the blue-collar worker... Before Obamacare, most people who had insurance before Obamacare most insurance covered most people who had insurance before Obamacare it covered the pre-existing conditions like 90% of them because you get your insurance through your employer for the most part and the way they do that and cover pre-existing conditions with employers is that they you know obviously strike a deal with an insurance company for a group insurance plan and that's how most people had it. You think 90% of people get their insurance through their employer? Before Obamacare.

Oh. And those people got their pre-existing conditions covered because when you go get a job as a fucking whatever where you're getting insurance, they don't go like, all right, go get this physical. They go, all right, well, you're on a group insurance plan, which means that if you have fucking whatever disease, you're covered under that.

So now under Trump's not that compelling past employees are able to not cover pre-existing conditions yep so like it if we were here and obamacare brought the standard of care up to there now we're we're lower than it's ever been with regards to pre-existing conditions i mean obamacare is terrifying arguably it did not bring standard of care up. There's a reason that the only argument is the number of people who are on it, because the quality of care did not markedly increase. People didn't get to keep their doctors.

A lot of things changed that were said that they weren't going to change. And a lot of those people that they're harping about of, you know, a billion, 20 million people are going to lose insurance. A lot of those people who are losing it are people who were forced to buy it in the first place by a mandate. Which, by the way, I don't like Trump's new health care plan because it seems just stupid. And all those pictures of them celebrating today. Like, it just, like, why would you do, like, first of all, the tamp back on Obamacare, it didn't get rid of the mandate it just repositioned it and made it so that it was like oh now if you fucking get off

your insurance and then try and get back on it uh when you get sick you have to pay a 30 premium so instead of the mandate being on one end being a tax you know whatever penalty it's over here so the insurance company can charge you more when if you try and pull something where you're like all right i'm sick boom i'm gonna get insurance right now to cover me when i'm sick because obviously you're not supposed to buy insurance when something bad has already happened because that's not what insurance is. Insurance is for preventative things. And the pre-existing condition is a really big one. So before Obamacare, if you had a pre-existing condition, then your insurance typically didn't cover it. I guess

if you got into a big employer plan. But my point is, is that's how most people had insurance before Obamacare is through their employer and then you get family insurance through your employer and the way they covered pre-existing conditions is because those companies were able to make deals with companies across state lines in some circumstances when that was allowed not allowed anymore and be like hey

we want to buy this group plan and they go alright here you go here's a group plan so you don't have to fiddle fuck around with little minutia for each and every employee. And that's what they did at the time. So, but like the challenge would be if you ever wanted to get insurance that wasn't through your employer, right? Like in my situation, well, I never had a drop in coverage. But if you wanted to start your own business and do your own thing, then you could never really get insurance. You would just fuck.

Well, if your argument is that you want greater choice, then putting more of it in the hands of the government is the worst thing to do. Like, if you want the choice of more... Don't bear that out. Like, you don't just say, like, well, if you want choice, then the government, you know, is not really even one of the candidates.

Yes, it does. That's just, that's like a bias against any government possibility of being good. What I'm saying is that it's not not obamacare did not improve quality of health care at all well it didn't advance the state of medicine like like we didn't invent new medical no but it it didn't mean that like uh people life expectancy under medicare hasn't increased life expectancy under obamacare hasn't increased the quality of care will go down like sites for that like you say that yeah but i haven't heard that one yet yeah okay okay i don't want to call like if you do i just would love to see that

because i've never read anything like that so that's quite interesting i kind of like to see the metric they chose for that so they actually have done they've looked at the what is it how long did we have obamacare for was that second term or first term it was uh beginning of the second term or no no it was it was it happened at the start of his first term but it it phased in over his presidency. Okay. So we have demographics already to see what the four years of basically impact for that did, and we're able to see. Yes, there are.

Okay. That's cool. Yeah. So the big thing about preexisting conditions is it becomes a barrier. And I'm sorry, the biggest thing for me is it becomes an excuse. When insurance companies are able to say that's a pre-existing condition. Like I keep mentioning the same one that happened. A guy had acne, right? Acne on his back. And they're like, aha, that is an indicator that you had cancer.

We're not covering your cancer, et cetera. Or I don't know. Do you know what would happen if we had a free market approach where all of these companies could compete, there would be a policy for that guy because companies want to be able to give it to you. So if there's a company in Delaware that you can deal with and a company in Missouri and a company in California, and you say, Hey,

you know, now that Obamacare is not meaning that it's restricting my acts, my options and coverage, I can go across state lines and buy a policy from over there. Suddenly the companies will compete. They want to drive a price down to you like this narrative no they will because this is kind of this is i have one let's compare it to like internet right now right let's because let's look at this for a second right like okay free free market right like i've got i've got comcast internet it's a pile of fucking shit craps out on me whenever i need it to not

crap out on me horrible customer service can't get anything done with this well it's a free market it's a free economy i should be able to go look for alternatives right there aren't any fucking alternatives you should be able to set that up it's almost it's almost non-existent it has to use their has to use the existing infrastructure that's there has to use the stuff that's in place but it's the same with the health care right there's a limit to the number of hospitals doctors and whatnot in your area they are they are restricted already to subsets of hospitals, doctors, and whatnot in your area. They are restricted already to subsets of

groupings that are essentially, to me as an outsider, arbitrary groupings that I have no control over and no impact with. And I am limited in what I get from that. And I think you run into that with this... How does the government open up those options at all for you? I don't know that it does, but I'm not sure that free market gives me any better...

And the idea that Obamacare that all the best surgeons what obamacare actually did was set a minimum standard that these options had to cover you know they're like hey if you sell insurance it needs to meet these qualifications for or for it to be considered insurance like that that's what it did and that's why those prices like that's why the cost of premiums went up because they were like all right you're no longer allowed to pick what you want covered in your personal insurance plan no matter what policy you buy you have to cover prenatal care you have to cover pediatric dentistry for kids you have to cover mental health you have to cover all these things that if it was a free market and you said hey i i want to opt into this and dental and vision and that and that's what i want to pay

for boom like that's right like there's no perfect answer for this and one of the things that i don't like about taylor's solution where you can buy insurance and it's kind of shitty insurance is i feel like people no it's not shitty it's what you want it is shitty insurance they don't like it it doesn't cover no you don't buy what you think that you're cool then all of a sudden they're like oh well your diabetes actually turns out you were 20 pounds overweight so that was a pre-existing indicator but let me keep going um so what the government did is they said insurance has to be this good to even be considered insurance now my problem with letting them just sort of buy like sell anything and calling i don't like the way you're saying it has to be this good it's it's you have

to cover this amount of things that you will not use a lot of agree with that but let me continue right now people buy financial products and they don't understand them. People who buy their mortgages, they don't really know how many points they should get under what situation. They should get more points or fewer points. They look and they say, oh, this interest rate is this, but they don't understand that that lower interest rate is coming with these fees. They don't know which fees the finance company is charging them and which ones are sort of normal or state or government. the finance company is charging them and which ones are sort of normal or state or government. And they just fucking sign on the dotted line in confusion so that they can get a house.

Health insurance is at least as complicated as a mortgage. And you guys done the marketplace stuff too? I've done that the last two years. Like that is the health care that I have. Yeah, yeah. And like I don't even know if it's good. I know our deductible seems to be really high but then once we hit it it's like really low and like i they the insurance company is like oh you're on a good plan we don't even offer that anymore you're grandfathered in

and we're like i guess we should stay i don't even know um i'm like i'm a relatively smart guy i have a lot of education that shit was fucking complicated as all hell. And that was not like easily accessible information. It wasn't like, you know, I called a couple of these places to try to talk to people and I got this one woman at a help desk for this actual plan, right, talking to her and I'm like, well, would you suggest this? She's like, oh, no, no, I can't suggest anything. You know, like I'm not suggesting that at all. I'm just trying to clarify and she wouldn't tell me a fucking thing out of this. I found that extremely a pain in the ass one point that you made woody that made a lot of sense to me it wasn't this episode it was a few ago

that I liked what that wasn't a dick the ambulance specifically but the ER thing of people showing up at the ER and just getting stuff paid for them because you you know, you're not allowed to just, you know, turn away someone. Like, that's why, you know, in no world would, like, if Jimmy Kimmel wasn't Jimmy Kimmel and there was a baby dying there, would they be like, no dice? Like, no, they'd do it that people still make, it really hasn't reduced those significantly at all. And so that kind of made me question – You were talking to me earlier for the citation that there were no actual – No, no, sorry was i'm jumping around okay

yeah we were talking i jumped back to something what he said about um what i was saying which is still in the same topic yeah and it might take a little bit like this thing would have to be in effect for 15 years to change human behavior you know for them to start going and getting the argument i made was that um well there's two one they would go to doctors and get things treated it would nip things in the butt as they would go to doctors and get things treated. It would nip things in the bud as opposed to it getting really acute and having it treated in the ER where it's very expensive.

The other is by mandating insurance, which I personally like, you're mandating personal responsibility, right? My listeners have heard this before. If you just say, hey, you know, some people have insurance, some people don't have insurance. The people that choose not to buy insurance still show up at the ER they still get treated and then they just don't pay their bill so therefore like you know the people who do pay pay extra that that's how i

think that changes the shape of the marketplace too if you mandate that everyone is going to have to have insurance one way or another that they're going to be plans designed for these people who have very low income because the insurance company is going to go okay well we still want to make a profit out of this we're we're obligated by the government to make these plans accessible to these people these people are going to have to buy them we're going to have plans that are going to actually make a profit for ourselves off that and there's actually going to be health insurance for them i mean i remember when i was first out of college as a student i couldn't afford fucking health insurance i went years without having health coverage at all

and essentially because the price range of the stuff there was outside of the scope of what i could actually pay and the the answer was essentially what i'm gonna have to do is bet on the fact that i'm gonna be healthy and bet on the fact that i'll have the money to pay for something if it crops up that's kind of a shitty situation to be in if trump care gets through the senate it'll be just like that except there'll be a 30 premium for new people who sign on. You get even more dick than you were. I agree. The 30% premium thing is the new mandate

basically. So you know how with Obamacare, it was a mandate of tax penalty. All that Trumpcare did was make that mandate so that if you stay on your insurance, you don't have to pay that 30 but if you do that thing where which people do where you get insurance after you're sick then they charge you that 30 on top to punish you for buying insurance when you're sick

so really it just seems like a stupid idea for him to have done this because it didn't repeal obamacare it didn't roll a ton of stuff back it just and now it seems he seems like a kind of a buffoon for slapping his name on it because now that like he quote owns it in the public eye it's like all that negative stuff is going to be on his shoulders when he could have if you know he were a little smarter not have taken that and then although like the photo shoots with the clapping and everything today of like how excited they were. It's like most people aren't pleased with this. We all agree the plan is bad,

but politically, I'm not sure it was a mistake. This guy will be able to stand at a lectern and tell people that they repealed Obamacare and that it's gone and that I'm your hero. And there will be a lot of people who don't necessarily care about the details of the plan. They're just looking for a hero, and that's what they found in Trump.

For more years! For more years! A lot of people on the right are going to pretend that it's repealed. Oh, man. All right, so as fascinating as health care legislation is, yeah, I'm titillated I have two videos here. I found that I've been looking for while that was going on

So we're doing that while you're gone anyway The MMA fighter knocks out Tai Chi master. I love that for just a quick satisfying Oh, it's the one where they like they just kind of wave towards you. Yes. Yes. The idea is you're redirecting your opponent they just kind of wave towards you? Yes, yes, the idea is you're redirecting your opponent. Are you sure we haven't shown this video before? I've never seen it before. There are a lot of internet videos of these idiots checking it out, of trying to fight real fighters and getting beat up. Yeah. Honestly, none of these Tai Chi masters must have Google, because you'd think one of them would check this out beforehand and see like if it panned out for any other masters. This is an interesting question.

Do they believe their own bullshit? Yes, they do. They very quickly realize... I've heard plenty of guys. I heard a guy on the Rogan's podcast who was a Tai Chi guy, and he was like, well, you know, I don't know anything about Tai Chi, and if you chi and you know i would just

if you came at me i would just i would just redirect you and he's like well if i'm a college wrestler i'm gonna fucking double leg you we're gonna be on the ground i'm gonna rough you up pretty bad bro and he's like oh i wouldn't let you take me down what do you mean like i would just do it you couldn't stop me by redirecting me i would just fucking pivot a little to the right and grab you there like it just doesn't work. That's what you see here. You'll notice the Tai Chi guy is tons of deflection. He's like a fencer parrying

the strikes away. It works for all of three seconds. Are we ready to play it? Yeah. Ready, set, play. You said it works for a second, but it doesn't even work then. Three. And he's knocked out. It works until he runs out of space to back up.

Yeah. What did he say afterward? I have never encountered energy like that before. I thought I was the best. I go train under him now. And as he's leaving, like fucking hoping that none of his, you know, wind bending comrades are going to come after him and mug him in the parking lot. Being a huckster.

That is so shitty. If that guy does know that he's just teaching people nonsense. Like it's, it's like being a cult leader almost. Cause I'm sure they have to bow and say master and like treat him like like a guru of sorts you know so tai chi does have like real uh good things and it teaches you balance apparently from what from what i've heard it teaches you things you're you're it's not just like dancing a combat system it's just not an effective combat system when compared to any of the other ones

like maybe if you were a tai chi guy and he were just completely untrained you'd have the edge but i've said this before though i mean just that's what i've always liked about mma for me is it was it's it's the evolution of like basically you know unarmed combat right it's what works and what doesn't work and the the repeated exposure of stuff until what works and what doesn't work and the repeated exposure of stuff until what works comes out quite solidly on top. Because if you keep bringing stupid shit in that doesn't work, that has a lot of form and no actual substance to it and a lot of just showy stuff, you're going to get your ass knocked out. I like seeing that. It turns out the ones that work are the ones where they actually practice and employ it, right? So boxing works, Muay Thai works, wrestling works.

employ it right so boxing works muay thai works wrestling works the ones that don't work are the ones where like uh is it a keto comes to mind um what is this tai chi there's another one i don't know the real name of it people ninjutsu like it might be bamboo they call it yellow bamboo or something close to that um and they they think they have like chi that can stop you or throw fireballs and shit like that and mana yeah and like the ones where you don't practice even kung fu right kung fu has a lot of like real strikes and things that would work but the culture in there is that they rarely practice at full speed you know i i took kung fu right i have a year kung fu i'm it's total bullshit that's a waste of time yeah like the people they they hold pads and when you strike it's it's almost like a coordinated dance you know

where like all right i'm gonna be throwing this obviously telegraphed right you're gonna catch it and do something and it's bullshit it's complete i didn't know when i was taking it it was bullshit but you sort of figure it out and uh you have like a metronome in the corner like three and fight it was weird because like like some of the the best students and people that you would you were like supposed to believe were badasses in my class were women right so these were like fit attractive like 120 pound five six bad asses right who are doing kung fu they've been doing it for years and i'm supposed to believe that like like this is near the peak of the class when we know in reality i can hold like hold them by the wrist and not let them go what are you insinuating that they're not

smart and funny so so anyway yeah but this is a story like this is a story that it's like been I've encountered in my life too. I knew this girl in a class that was in her dad was like a teacher it was one of these you know bizarre like not really a martial arts style thing that is you know masquerading as a martial art. Lex Quado! She was like she was like five foot one she was like a tiny tiny girl and she was absolutely convinced that she could just throw anyone around. And she'd be able to physically handle herself in a physical altercation with someone, you know, like six foot two. You know, like someone of my size, she would be fine.

And it's just like, I don't know if she's done. It just makes me wonder if she's ever done any, like, basic sparring. You realize real quick that body size is a big fucking indicator. She's had a lot of people tell her when she goes i'm really badass i can beat people up and they go yeah you i bet i bet you know baby like you're looking good i'm trying to think about a way that i could think of a way that i could get her to be like why don't you just try to throw me around or something we could do it in a quad like some real public i'm not trying to make anything weird happen i just like want to

break that mentality because it's a dangerous fucking mentality if you think you're a badass you think you're tough and you think you're protected and you act that way you should have immediately backed it up you should have immediately pushed her down like a kid on a playground just boom just double double palms on her shoulders she's on the ground like all right get up and see if you can stop me from doing that again boom all right All right, come on. Third time's a charm. One more time, I'm going to drink your pre-workout. Yeah, make me another one, bitch.

It's a bizarre thing to see that. And, like, I mean, clearly, like, going into that, this guy probably wasn't thinking, hey, I'm going to get punched in the head and knocked out. Like, you know, he's probably going into this fight thinking, like, at least he has a good shot at it that he expects that this training is going to pay off my chi is fucking centered this guy stands no chance that's right what's weird for this so at least when i was a student like he was i didn't have to act maybe i did a little in the coordinated sparring but in my head i'm like all right well i don't want a full speed punch you know know, because I couldn't handle that. So this is how you learn.

But when these guys, like when the instructor does this and then I do a front flip as if he made me do that front flip. How do you avoid that? Like, you know, you did that. How do you convince yourself that this works? Yeah, it's like sleeping with a prostitute. Like you always know that you pay for it and she doesn't want to be here if i had not the master would have turned me apart with his energy he would have torn me a rim from him i'm not sure if i told this story

on pk or not but i did a little bit of mma like joined an mma class for just a little while it was too far from home so i couldn't do it for a long period of time i did it for a little bit and i was very worried about that going into that i mean is this going to just be more bullshit like i did taekwondo as a kid or something and it was pretty much not i didn't get that far into it okay i was worried going into it that you know it would be and i wanted to i had that same mentality of how do i know i'm not just sleeping with a prostitute this this is the fighters faking it so one of the one of one of the early days there the instructor was showing us some move and i was working with my friend and i'm like, the only way I'm going to get them to do this move is if my friend

lets me do it. I mean, he was the same size as me. There's no way I can throw him. This is kind of a little bit bullshit. So rather than just call them on that, I said, I asked the instructor, could you show me this? What happens when they resist? So he has me get in that position.

I resist and he can't throw me. So what does he do? He kicks me in the back of the head with his heel. And there was a point to that. I'm not actually attacking MMA on this. The point of it was he knew enough about it that if I'm putting my body weight and my posture in a way that I resist the throw of that movement,

there is something else you do that fucks you up on the other side. At the one or two time of resist, they learn to go with the flip. But it was interesting in the moment. It kind of hurt in the moment. It kind of hurt in the moment. It kind of sucked in the moment. But it was nice for me, a little bit of validation of,

okay, this is less bullshit. Because yes, he couldn't throw me in that position if I was resisting either. But by resisting in that way, I was believing myself vulnerable to something else, which was at least... But it also doesn't make sense because it's like if you were in a real situation

and your first instinct in that fight or flight moment is to grab the guy's wrist and go for a fake throw like you're probably not gonna have time to go for the heel to the back of the head kick right after that like you've already committed to nonsense i don't what a fighter should be doing is is reading in what's available right like you know if it's not like oh regardless of what taylor presents to me i'm going to go for this, you know, hip toss. Like, that would be a very bad fighter. It's like, you know, so like, all right, if Taylor's got his hands up and, you know, if his weight's heavy on that front leg, I'm kicking it. If his weight's light on that front leg, I'm doing something else.

Like, that's what a fighter would do. And that actually makes the most sense, right? That if it was really just as easy as I can throw you anytime I want by doing these moves then that would be, if there was no actual counter or resistance to that, that would be everything everyone does and it's not everything everyone does. So it was interesting for me in that moment to see it. This guy basically did the reverse

this Tai Chi guy you know that story of the Olympian who threw the super heavy discus and then went to the Olympics and realized they threw light, lighter discus. Yeah. And so he just dominated.

That happened? Like this guy is the version. Yeah. That was like in the early 1900s. Like a guy from a different country was like, they get very good with the discus and like whatever. And he threw this iron discus and he got there and they're like, here's your discus, Sergei. And he's like, oh, this is going to go well for Sergei.

He got out there and threw that thing like a fucking frisbee golfer dominating people. Sergei had been slinging fucking drain covers for three years. This guy is like that guy if instead of that he threw like paper plates or plastic plates or something and he shows up wildly outmatched. The second link I sent is a sex girdle for lazy lovers. It is a hydraulically actuated coupling system which attaches the lovers together, the man and the woman, and it does all of the work for you. It's also clearly a humorous video going into it.

It's designed as satire. It's powered by clean coal via Bluetooth. As I said. It really checks all the boxes. Can I share this? They blur out all the naughty bits. Okay. But there's a lot of hydraulic thrusting.

This sucks. I was really hoping to see what was going on here. Like, if that was real. Are we ready to hit play? Yes. Ready, set, play. If you're like me, after a long day's work, you want to want to have sex with your husband.

But you also just want to sleep. I've scheduled a sex date with my wife tonight, but I've got a project due first thing in the morning. So needless to say, we've been in a bit of a dry spell. Well, more like a dry decade. That is, until we discovered Lazy Lovers. Lazy Lovers is an auto-thrusting app for when you're 10 years into a marriage and just don't have the energy for sex anymore. lovers the limit just like you used to when you were attracted to them. The straw pony included neck brace to avoid unwanted whiplash and paralysis. The steel hydraulic oil delivery system provides each joint with consistent lubrication. And the overflow oil is then delivered to the genitals to prevent heat rash.

The entire system is powered with clean cold technology via bluetooth so you can rest assured knowing that you're saving the planet one lazy with the amount of time you say smoking lazy lovers practically pays for itself use it while you work read catch up on tv catch up on sleep or stay up at night and since it doesn't fit in a dishwasher, try hand washing it. And since you don't have hands, try foot washing it. What? What are his hands?

Whose hands are they? Turn that eh into a sure with Lazy Lovers. Would you want a Lazy Lover system if they were affordable? No. No, it just seems like that would be one of those things where you'd see it on the news, like two people horribly burned when they couldn't escape their sex device

and their clean coal fucking corner furnace tipped over and they couldn't escape. No, I'm just going to have regular sex. I feel like I hate running enough that this is not an exercise that I want to scratch off my to-do list, right? I'm at this point where I'm including everything. I want to bring up a fitness update at some point tonight. It's a topic we should cover. But no, I don't want this.

I actually did have a sex toy topic, though i i was reading about sex toys right and apparently women's sex toys are just going off the charts they're getting better and better every year and and uh there is some i don't even fully understand like there was a u-shaped one that like i get it like it's what it does a vaginal and clit stimulation at the same time but you're supposed to wear it during sex and i'm like it feels like it's taking up some of the room here. I don't know. But I found these guy sex toys. Now, most guy sex toys are basically just like vaginas in a tube, right? That's like all they've come up with. Whereas women's sex toys have evolved past just looking like dudes, right? That they're doing some experimentation and they're finding better things

than just what nature's provided. So here's some guy sex toys that don't look like vaginas in a tube. And one of my challenges is I don't get it. The way they're introing it with they don't look like a vagina in a tube honestly makes it weirder. Like what do these look like? So I a tube honestly makes it weirder like what what do these look like

so i gave you a link and um the ultimate stimulus package this is a this is not this is not what you think it is this is a cock ring that vibrates and if you scroll down a little bit um there's a video i'm not even 100 i watched the video and i i didn't get the like gynecological view that i need to understand what to do i don't know where the front is and on the back is the music on the video is so far the best of all the music and all the videos we've watched so this is not a masturbatory item this is this is the. This is for sex, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I think I went to the couples section. They've got a couple.

But what do you... First of all, $189 seems very steep for a cock ring. Oh, my God. I mean, this is what a key chain costs. Dude, like, the Trojans sell something not as nice looking as this, but it comes in a box of fucking condoms. Yeah, this comes with cufflinks. I Don't know if you know

Trashy ass cufflinks Lilo brand cufflinks, it's cuz they manufacture cock rings You mean I'm not invited the next meeting, you know So where's so where's the front? The front is the area that's protruding. So it's the side that bumps up against her is going to have that cup protruding? Yeah, has the forward part. That is not how I am looking at this.

The side that has the divot faces you. The curved part faces her. What is on the curved part? I can't even see. I'm glad that... Look. I have no fucking idea. There's no zoom in on the curved side.

I don't care which one of you is right. I'm just happy you're not on the same page. Yeah, because if you take the side... What a smooth thing. That's presumably among the... On the other hand... The amount of overpackaging, there's like an instruction manual, right? Or maybe – And it's just a guy with a cock, an erect cock, and the fucking thing on the right direction.

Should the vagina be getting hit by the smooth, like, band thing? Or should it be the woodpecker, like, going at it? It should be the smooth band. You just answered your own question. Well, it's a vibrating couples ring, right? So you're probably going to want that out of the space that it's gonna be involved with you so you Probably want this vibrating, but I mean that's essentially a motor on the side of it right. It's just fucking for vibrating It's just a little I'm sorry right so you want that out of the way right because the vibration is gonna be passed through your

Dick you see how it like fit on like yeah It's totally the curved part faces are at the end of story Yeah, you can see how it fits on you put your cock in the only hole What if you took it and flipped it around so the fucking bulky part was by your nutsack and now it's not in the way But you still vibrating You want to vibe unless you want to vibrate your go. At the end of the day it's going to vibrate your penis and your penis will vibrate wherever it is. Right on the nipple. I'm not a fan of how they're selling this in like a watch box.

Yeah, they have these on Amazon. You gotta watch that video. It's the douchiest fucking video I've ever seen. I just watched the video too. It doesn't explain it at all. Is it safe for work, the video? Yeah, there's nothing in it. It's just a guy walking around with a cock in his hand. Oh, it's 25 seconds. Can we queue up at zero?

Sure. Ready, set, play. Got like Vice News style opening. It comes with cufflinks, I told you. And there's also a pile of money at the fucking front of it. Always be closing. This is the juiciest fucking ever. Yeah, I told you.

It's exclusively for bankers. It just said that at the end of it. Look at the box here that they give it to you in. It's like in the kind of box that like this guy who bought it is gonna sit down with his grandkids in 60 years and bring out the old pinio and hand it down you know his old ass cock ring like this is a little too much pomp and circumstance i need more of a like gyno view on this i don't know what to do with it i swear if this picture was upside down, I would buy that too.

Like, I wouldn't know. You put it on your cock and balls, and then the curved part faces forward. Put it on your balls too? Yeah, cock and balls. All the way. The honest take home from this is, you're going to try it one way, and then you're going to try it the other way.

And then you're going to use it that way for the rest of the time. There's no way that it's going to... mean i like cock rings cock rings are great no no like like like these work these are great but that's incredibly overpriced you can get one for like 20 like go to amazon no i thought selection right there in the photo oh don't do that sometimes you get oh so there have been people who put rubber bands there's a reason cock rings are their own. Oh, don't do that. Sometimes you get – oh, so there have been people who put rubber bands. There's a reason cock rings are their own thing and people don't use rubber bands because, like, the way that you castrate bulls is you have this thing you squeeze. It's like squeezing a hard pair of pliers, and when you squeeze,

it expands four prongs outward like this, stretching a very taut rubber band to its maximum. Then you put that over the cow's testicles. Oh, then you put it over the cow's testicles and release and it constricts at the top of the the ball sack so hard that it cuts the blood supply off, the nuts literally fall off on their own and it heals without much blood. The nuts land on the ground? Did you guys see that video where Mike Rowe did it. The knots land on the ground. Do you see that video where Mike Rowe did it?

No, I've done it. So let me explain it through the eyes of Mike Rowe. I don't think it was cows. I think in his case it was like sheep or something. Felons. I don't know. But it was some sort of good-sized farm animal. And like Kyle said, they put the rubber bands around.

And then in their case, they waited a couple of days. And then he says they put the rubber bands around. And then in their case, they waited a couple of days. And then he says they pull the testicles off. And he said that it made a sound like removing Velcro. It just looked. And he was like, oh, my God, this is brutal. This is absolutely terrible. This is inhumane, et cetera.

And I think it was like some office worker decided they had to do it the other way. And it was way worse. There was like surgical healing worker decided they had to do it the other way and it was way worse there was like surgical healing and knives and blood and stitches and stuff and it turns out the old rubber band way is better and that's the way someone who doesn't know something about farming is like that's horrible we need to do it differently

when like probably 150 years ago some farmer was like this is horrible we're going to do it different than putting the band around it. Give me a knife. We're going to do it real easy. And then like three days later, panda him looking at a dead cow being like, well, when we discovered germs, we'll realize what happened here.

Just bled out. Shit. He just bled out. Turns out we're not going to cinch him up. A furious cow. There's an old Jerry Clower joke about this guy who's got a sick mule. His mule has colic.

And he asks around, what do you do when you have a mule who has colic? And this guy says, oh, Mr. Jones, his mule had colic, and I heard that he found something for it. So he goes to Mr. Jones, and he says, Mr. Jones, my mule has the colic. What did you treat yours with? I heard you treated a mule with colic. He goes to Mr. Jones, and he says, Mr. Jones, my mule has the colic.

What did you treat yours with? I heard you treated a mule with colic. He says, oh, well, you take a half of a gallon of coal oil, which is oil derived from coal. It's not nice stuff. And you put a long tube on it, and you stick it in the mule's mouth, and you tilt his head back and make him chug a lugget, drink the whole thing down. He's like, really?

He's like, absolutely. So he went home, out to his mule in the barn, he got the coal oil, and sure enough, he put the tube in its mouth, chug a lugget, chug a lugget, drank the whole half gallon of coal oil, dropped fucking dead right there, just fucking dead. He goes back to Mr. Jones, he says, Mr. Jones, I gave him the half gallon of coal oil,

it killed him immediately. He's like, damn. My mule died too. Because he didn't know. He had never tried it. Oh, another sex toy. Just shopping around? Same website?

I read an article about it. Yeah, the link is coming. It was about the state of guy sex toys and how much they sucked. And then they said this company actually has sex toys about it yeah link is coming oh same company and they were basically it was about the state of guy sex toys and how much they sucked and then they said this company actually has sex toys that don't just look like i feel like i've seen this for like half the cost i'm sure yeah oh absolutely look i'm not selling this stuff but my point when i when i found this was i'm not really sure what the disc thing does it's's the controller. The remote.

You know what? Just before I pasted it to you, I thought of that too. But as I was like prepping for this topic, I was like, man. That's 100% the remote. That's just a remote. Correct. And the other thing, I'm pretty sure the big part goes on the outside and the little part goes on the inside. And I think you have sex with it while it's in.

But I'm not sure about that last part. Okay, so it's like G-spot and clitoral stimulation. You don't always put it in her ass. And there's plenty of room. I was picturing this more... I wasn't thinking that you have sex while this is inside her. Just because of the real estate issue. The first line literally says, The world famous remote

controlled couples massager vibrates internally and externally at the same time so i assume that means oh during lovemaking for heights of intimate intense okay well maybe i thought it was going to be more of like uh oh i'm so turned on by the thought of wearing this as i'm out and about at the oh you think it was just turn on my you know clip massager as I'm walking by cereal sections. I was picturing that kind of debauchery. Just because of the way they described it, that's not how people are going to use it. I bet most of the time people are going to wear this in public, and the guy's going to control it while his lady wears it. I'm reading the... I'm thinking.

I got a pair of these for my girlfriends, and they work well for fun and teasing with the added thrill of sex in public but the relatively noisy remote limits where they can be done fine on the street or a noisy club maybe not a quiet restaurant your usual sexual sexy panties won't uh won't want to hold it snug enough to her clitoral area to be effective. You need something like bike shorts, stretchy, and camel-toe tight. Modal. My other issues are the control button on the vibe when adjusting the position, and then he just talks

about random user issues. Yeah, these are cool. Which are pretty valid, I think. I gotta say, for personal experience, it's fucking irritating when sex toys are either mismatched, so like, some sex toys have faster up, and some sex toys have off off at the top or off at the bottom that needs to be immediately standardized. How many times have they ever violated again? How many times? Once again the government will help us. A little bit of government regulation.

I think if Trump has done anything this is what he really needs to work on next. Because it always... I have the best sex toys. He's going to be consulting Ivanka. A lot of them are Russian, actually. As you raise the power, it's like... Off. Now I have to go back to... Yeah.

You just end up going like... Damn it, again. Fuck. Alright, one, two, three, 4, 5! Okay, like... Where you hit the wrong button and all of a sudden it's EEEEEEEEEE! And you're like, fuck, now I gotta go through this menu! Yeah, now it's like a dubstep song. I mean, if this research is being done on this for physical,

there should also be basic fucking, like, end-user-like design on this, right? Like, the interface for the user matters on these, and matters particularly on something that you're... you don't want to devote any effort to thinking about in that moment i'll add that a lot of them want to bring in your iphone right like oh yeah the controller for this is your phone and there's just like a bluetooth connection etc the thing is if i connect you to my phone you have access to all kinds of things you could be phoning home and reporting our metrics right you could be tracking me. You might know who I am.

They might offer that as a service. This is what your partner likes the most. We can grab it and put it on Facebook. Would it use the device for 35 minutes on setting 7? They wouldn't have pictures or audio or anything. It's a vibrator. Would it say click to share? People would make mistakes.

The record! 38 minutes at level 10. Beeping. Kyle Myers burned 61 calories masturbating, you know? I run a CPU, like, monitor on my computer and tell me, like, core temperatures. I want one for the fucking vibrator.

On my phone, I want a graph of the core temperature of that vibrator while we're using this I don't want any of that. I don't want a phone controller I want this thing to be something that would have existed in the 70s Just an aux switch and how long would you be using this thing with your girl out and about and you're sitting at dinner? And she brings up a topic that's stupid or boring and you're like, oh god Oh, she's got that vagina thing like how long until you use it to like derail conversations and then how long until she discovers that and then how long until

it becomes no longer a thing you do yeah that's that's you need to find that out someone needs to buy it try it with a girlfriend report back yeah these are um you can get these these things on amazon like the same shape same get one that's designed for that, though. This one's clearly not designed for that. If you're going to do that and report back, use one that is financially reasonable and then one that's designed for that. They have them built into women's underwear. That, I think, seems like the coolest thing.

The underwear and the vibrator comes as a set and it's designed to use that way. Those don't work well. You want this. Trust me, whenever you buy some sort of combo, you're not getting much, because that vibrator company doesn't know shit all about making women's underwear, right? Like, you want your

underwear from people who do women's underwear. You want your sex toys from the sex toy people. I mean, we're getting our chocolates from the flower company. That's close enough. They do a good job. But when you start mixing these two, you're not going anywhere. You want something like this that goes in and attaches. There's some that look like flowers over the clit.

There's all kinds of attachments. There's some with buckles and straps. You can get a whole harness that'll force one of those Hitachi wands right on her clit. Try going into a club with that on. It's like that fucking long, the Hitachi wand. It's a foot and a half long, and it's as

loud as a Black and decker drill. When you see a Hitachi it's meant for back pains. It's totally beautiful. You know the ridiculous thing that people say about those that it is meant for getting knots out or whatever.

When you see it, it's such a... It makes the noise that if I saw someone on their back with that going full strength they'd be like man that guy's probably got some serious pain because that's that number on a clit too now if you want if you want a little bit of my sex toy expertise you take the hitachi wand which is like 80 dollars although there's lots of like more expensive ones but you want the standards yes for people not even kidding because those things are fucking amazing top notch um i've had i've used it on like back problems like knots and stuff and it does help but i feel like it just makes the whole area numb because it's insane huh no i was not saying you have a back one and then a sex one or just all in the same

i have two of them but they're both sex ones. Yeah. It's just different sides of this one. You know, oh, we're in the same side. If one goes down, you want to back up. It's like a gun. I wasn't kidding. Those things do overheat.

You've got to have another one. You need two. And, like, one of them is already having some issues. Like, the head of it will come off. And now I've noticed that, like like when it vibrates, it doesn't sound like all the internals are typed. Instead of sounding like – it sounds like – like there's shit like knocking around in there. Yeah. I linked you to their condom page because these people apparently have to do everything different. A dollar a pop.

Look at the propagandizing going on on this condom page. A dollar each, man. Those are the most expensive condoms I've ever seen. A dollar each. Pleasure uncompromised. Nope. You're lying. I would respect

Durex and all the condom makers more if they would just label it like pleasure me compromised. Here's the slogan. Safety first. Perfect. We start a condom company and that's what it is. Safety first.

If we start a condom company, then I get my own brand of condoms. They're camouflage and my slogan is you'll never see it coming. These have hexagons on them. A honeycomb. Listen to the explanation of the honeycomb. There's a reason why honeycombs are the shape they are.

Nature knows it. Dragonflies know it. And Fibonacci knew it. And we know it. Hexagons are strong, symmetrical even, and tessellate perfectly. They're nature's go-to shape for strength and tightness their condom is just hexagons like the reservoir tip is the only normal part and the rest of it is just hexagons like a honeycomb i picture them being

like ribbed for her pleasure aren't hexagons formed for like honeycombs isn't that the the insect twirls in a circle in like a cramped space and there's like another one doing the same and it flattens it out. Isn't that what the fucking hexagon comes from? Phil, if you sat in there and said there's a reason honeycombs are the shape they are it's because bees are small It's like stupid bees

knocking into each other There's a reason nature's done this We've done the same. You've copied retarded bees knocking We're looking for innovation. We've looked first to the to the american bee you know this is this is literally someone going a little too far with the birds and the bees and like how can we incorporate this into our sex they brought fibonacci a fucking like mathematician into this it's marketed to bankers the site said at the end of the other one.

For bankers only or something. With the cufflinks, of course they're going to bring Fibonacci. The guy who's like, they have these products. Hexagon on the side, someday people make it. Like, no, he wasn't thinking about that. There's a douchebag somewhere who has their entire line of shit. He's like putting the cufflinks on and sliding the money clip on his on his wad of hundreds and then he's fucking magnum hexagonal condoms for his magnum dong this is frank reynolds sex toy company you're forgetting that the guy we're describing is also

like 52 pounds overweight oh 100 yeah yeah this is he's looking for what's gone wrong and maybe it was the money clip. Maybe that's what's holding me back. Maybe if I had that. As if you ever pulled out a rubber and she was like, oh, I changed my mind. You're using lifestyle? What a peasant. This is me off on just that other level, right? It's the level of having done sex toy shopping online, having had some background, like

looked into this before and looked at this and been like, you know, you're already a little worried you're getting ripped off, right? Like you're doing something that's essentially a little bit taboo.'re not gonna be able to be like go like you're gonna go price comparison shopping Like you know talk to your neighbors and your dad about oh, you know what is the price for? What did you pay for yours? You know cock ring? With a minimal amount of information and then they've got these prices that are like two or three times with like markup value of what you're Gonna be paying for these elsewhere. What do you suggest for sex toy purchases?

I go to Amazon first to see what's going on there. And if they don't have what I want or what I'm looking for or whatever, sites like Extreme Restraints and then adamandeve.com. I was going to say both of those actually. Extreme Restraints and adamandeve.com are both really good sex toy sites. Do they have Adam and Eve stores where you guys are? I don't know. Maybe. It might be a figment of my imagination. There's definitely not any I know of. and Eve.com are both really good sex toys. Do they have Adam and Eve stores where you guys are? I don't know. It might be a figment of my imagination. There's definitely not any I know of.

I know my wife has done sex shopping and sex toy shopping in person and she found it helpful to have someone come over and talk to you about that and describe shit. I would have found that very off-putting. Yeah, I've done that. I think they told me not to use... Is there an alternative to alkaline batteries?

Like, a little, she said not to use heavy-duty batteries. No, it was a step down from, like, whatever it was, or whatever was the good battery. They're like, ah. Oh, she has a wall bug. It's like one of those plates they found in Egypt with the lemon juice and stuff. One of those old-timey batteries. No. Potato.

Whatever. I think she said, like, don't use this kind kind of battery use this other kind of battery because it wears out and all i could think of was like you totally have personal experience with this like i don't know maybe i was a child yeah but yes yeah at one point she got right to the edge and then that damn lithium battery came out and she's like oh if I had sprung for the alkaline. It was in the other way. She was like, and it wasn't like a cheap thing, but she said that it would like, it's too much power. She needed the lower.

On the one hand, it's a really good salesperson. It's just awkward with this particular subject. Yeah, yeah. You know, like if that was some other like domain, like it was like my mouse battery or something for like a wireless mouse. And they're like, I'd want to know that. Yeah. Like they're like, yeah, you absolutely don't use this battery because, you know, it would die in fucking two hours or something. That a wireless mouse and they're like i'd want to know that yeah like they're like yeah you absolutely don't use this battery because you know it would die in fucking two hours or something that would be a problem but it's just something about it in person which is a little

off-putting for me it's more it's maybe it's in person when they like a clip or not a clip surround like the more vanilla stuff with like really intense like harnesses and riggings and leather and so you'll be like over there looking at like lubes or something and you know cock rings perhaps and you're you know if you deviate either direction people gonna be like oh that guy's shopping for an enormous gimp suit or oh that guy's shopping for a life-size woman to bring home or like they're vanilla stuff and then they've got just boom the hardcore stuff next i uh i bought a sex swing the other day and i've been incorporating it into my uh my workout because if you just buy

a sex swing you've got like this harness that like a lady can lay back in and everything and be like suspended and that's cool and everything but then you got to hook it from something and i was thinking about drilling holes up into the ceiling and putting a mounting bracket up there but then then what if i want to move it around you know what if i want to have this thing in the living room maybe i'm home alone or not quite home alone there's someone else there obviously i'm not dangling in there for fun i'm not pretending like i'm spider-man in there like just like while jerking it um and so i realized that i needed a sex swing stand and uh so i started looking into that and i didn't want to go cheap on this i was reading these reviews and

this one guy was like this is a cheap piece of shit the spring broke and since it was spring loaded it hit my wife in the shoulder and it gouged into her and caused the puncture wound and you know we like we have to go to the er or anything but she's bleeding and of course i didn't get laid i'm mad so i was like all right let's get the real deal one so now i have like this it looks a bit like a human-sized bird cage except there aren't multiple bars there's just four bars uh that overlap each other and the best part about it is now I have this whole yoga swing thing that I can

do all kinds of upside down stretches for my back and workouts. I've got handles and stuff. I'm using this thing to work out gymnastic workouts with my body weight. It's Bowflex you're saying? Yes. It's the home workout system and the home fucking system.

He's going to go grab it real quick. I'm curious. I want to see it now. This is great, but it's giving. Oh, my God. I hope he exercises on it. Please, get in there. Oh, he's doing shit.

He's flipping around. It's really inconspicuous looking honestly like it just it looks like a workout thing from this distance i'm sure it has like you know some sex logo on the side stirrups and yeah i identify that as a sex swing that was cool that was that was very cool that was a smart tip to people out there looking to buy sex swings. I hadn't considered how badly a wrong purchase could go for something where you're suspending yourself and another from the ceiling. Not yourself and another. Kyle's got me thinking now, right? Like a sex swing from my bedroom. The challenge is if it would amount to the ceiling, my ceilings are like 20 feet high in my bedroom.

That's your answer? You've got a paramotor. I have a two-door garage door opener, right? You got a paramotor. I have it too. This is even better. Garage door opener, right? We could pull ourselves up and just swing at 10 feet.

Remember that scene? And so when Hope drives home and pulls into the garage, when she hits Dad's ass, she knows not to go any further. You could set it up in your bedroom um you just run a cable down just run a cable and then make a loop in the cable and then you snap into that with a carabiner and you're good to go and you would be cable every time though right like like it would be one of those swings that's over a river that just goes really far no well so you could hold on to it and, like, do your thing. Or if you wanted to, I'm sure your bedroom's pretty big,

you could push her, and she could, like, swing way away from you, and you just stand there with your cock. It's like, it's like, and you play it hard, but it's much more painful

if you fail. You gotta get that fucking bed on, get in. Otherwise, it's gonna be... Otherwise, that's a jackknife situation. And if that silly fucking Neil deGrasse Tyson video taught me anything, wherever you dropped her from,

she'd never fully return. How do you push her? You don't just drop her. So you have to look a little inchy steps forward every time. That's great. Do an advertisement read here. ZipRecruiter.

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we've all done to pay the rent and what we should have done instead and on the what we should have done instead for services like lift like you know are short on cash? You can do this part-time. Or you can do it full-time. You can augment your income when you need it. Yeah, that's really cool. I don't know what to say about that.

It goes back to what we said earlier about how important a driver's license still is. Even in our modern-day world with so much public transportation, especially abroad, a car is license still is. Even in our modern day world with so much public transportation, especially abroad, a car is a big deal. You could be completely broke, have no social skills whatsoever,

but if you've got a car, you've got a job. Yeah. Neat stuff. So, Filthy, what have you been up to lately? Oh, you know what I wanted to talk about? We were talking about before the show. YouTube monetization. You say it's having an impact oh fuck yeah that's really unpleasant the i mean it sucks you know

for me i'm i youtube i i stream i you know i create gaming content basically i do a lot of guide videos a lot of uh just play videos and uh and it sucks to see like you know you're doing well you have a good month right you know you got views up like everyone like lots of shares lots of likes, you know total time watch like blah blah blah Revenue down it sucks to see all your demos doing well And then your paycheck at the end of the month is worse than it's gonna be normally yeah, I've definitely seen that Onision made a video blaming PewDiePie for it and I saw that and I was like what you know,'s crazy now I watched some PewDiePie videos but probably like 1 in 20 so you know I'm not up to speed on it who is Onision Onision is a very

successful youtuber um I forget his channel name and uh but he has over 2 million subs I forget maybe over 4 million but whatever he said it's hot and um he blamed pewdiepie and then he got called out on it and he's like no like look at this like the media attacked pewdiepie and he made videos saying like getting people to hold signs around the world saying like all jews must die something close to that and this is pewdiepie right like this is it's not like there's some stupid unwatched corner of youtube about white supremacy it's pewdiepie and uh while he's kind of doing it for clickbait and shock and views he's not really wanting jewish people to die you know it's the kind of thing that alarmed employers and onision

i think had two or three more examples of things pewdiepie had done but it's not employers it's the kind of thing that alarmed employers and onision i think had two or three more examples of things pewdiepie had done but it's not employers it's it's sponsors it's advertisers i guess the wrong word but you're right yeah um uh so yeah he had done a thing and they pissed off advertisers and now advertisers are doing like this giant revolt and i'm surprised that like your content is well I'm not family-friendly well I don't it's not particularly I've marked my channel as a team plus channel it's not because I want to be able to talk if I want to talk about if I want to swear for example if I want to talk about sex for some period of time about this or

something comes up like a conversation about sex toys or something I'm pretty candid with my viewers about discussion so it's an 18 plus channel I don't want it I don't want to be accused of some child wandering in but for the most part yeah it's not content that is it's not not safe for work content there's no nudity or anything like this going on in there but i honestly i don't think it is specific to the type of content it's not like my videos have stopped being monetized it's that the cpm has gone down for videos in general uh and me in particular for this and i believe that it's just overall advertising for youtube is what my understanding of that is they had big spot big advertisers pull out of youtube at least temporarily this feels a lot like a golf scandal or something

tiger woods get caught you know having five million mistresses or whatever the hell it was suddenly they don't want to advertise with his brand anymore and it's a little bit of that going on with youtube right now and it's just hurting everyone from that i think there's a little bit of that going on with YouTube right now. And it's just hurting everyone from that. I think there's a lot of fear on behalf of like the mainstream media kind of people seeing how big YouTube is and almost feeling a need to like cur that and cut it back and keep it from growing. Because like if a guy like a guy like PewDiePie, he made the Wall Street Journal looks like fools. Like when you read the whole story and then you watched his video where he laid it all out and did that like that that reflected badly on them as a publication because it's like what this this random ass dude named pewdiepie that we were all led to believe is like this loon yelling at kids or whatever his channel was like he just made a video that really a lot of people think pwned you

like i really do think the mainstream media is terrified of rising online organic content and so they got to make sure advertisers aren't incentivizing that kind of creation. They want to keep their reins on who comes up and who establishes influence, I think. Wall Street Journal had like 10 points in their article, and one or two were valid. He really did hire a guy to make a sign that said, what was it, kill all niggers or something? I don't want to get it wrong but it was something a prerogative like that and uh it was like death to jews or something like that because i remember it was someone holding it was two people in india holding up a sign is what it was right but he also

had people like do it at protests and stuff and whatever according to this onision video and uh i didn't know about the protest thing uh Wall Street Journal, I guess they caught him doing this at one point, and they made it the Hitler thing. And when you mix in wild bullshit with your – they should have just had one or two legit points and left it there instead of making it seem like he had this long background of craziness. They had to, like, steep it in all those lists of things, though, because if they just came out with stuff that he actually did

People would be like oh Idiot on YouTube do an idiot on YouTube things boring Like so they had to chin up some controversy and make it into a big but it's the reason they got so beat You know there was a real eye-opener for me Like I mean I kind of thought about it prior to that as being fairly Disconnected from all that. You know, like my job is to, you know, make my fans happy, like to produce content that the people who want to watch my type of content are going to enjoy and to do that well. And other than that, the rest of it be damned.

I don't really have to worry about it. interlinked it was with just well if public opinion if advertiser opinion of youtube goes down because of major youtubers saying something fucking dumb and either taken out of context or not whatever and suddenly that's going to impact me too it's like shit i thought i didn't quite realize how linked into that system i was tucker on our show last week said that really well basically you're talking about new youtubers and while you're not brand new i consider you newer than like me for example and uh he's like these guys have this is their first storm you know like you you weren't there when machinima like pulled everybody's contract or renegotiated the rates that they got paid but that was another like cut in half type moment yeah i mean that's that's basically what it's been

for me it's been between a 40 and 60 percent revenue drop which is fucking huge that's ridiculous yeah that's crazy if you changed your channel to not under 18 would that bring ads back oh i don't know i haven't lost ads my videos are still being monetized it's just the rate at the cpm the amount i make per view has gone down compared to a lot of people are upset that their videos are getting caught up in this restricted mode right so you can like i think it's aimed at schools i hear that i haven't heard it from youtube um but you can put your youtube account on a restricted mode and that just sort of removes all the bad stuff and uh like every pka is restricted um some of my daily vlogs are but not all of them and it was it was pretty severe

like i think in my most of my vlogs and stuff is really family friendly. But I think it's all automated and weird things happen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of bizarre. It is. I guess that's an interesting way to put it.

It's the first YouTube storm I've weathered. That's a good way of putting it. Yeah. Let's hope I weather it well. Now, is YouTube a bigger part of your income than Twitch? Like, you're smaller? I would guess that Twitch was like 75%, but maybe I'm wrong. It's changed over time.

YouTube has done well for me, and it's been something I've been putting more effort into. I like the style a little bit better, the model. I like the Twitch. I like the live interaction of Twitch. I don't like feeling like I'm sitting there with my hand out. I don't like, it's that feeling a little bit, you know, if we're profitable, it would be great if I had tons of subs and tons of donations.

But I hate making that a focus of extreme. I hate making that something that is a big portion of it. I don't like that element. It feels like begging to a degree. So the kind of content released for value back in terms of views for YouTube is a much more appealing model. It's much more predictable.

Like the Twitch stuff can fluctuate quite a lot. And I don't like that. What I don't like about the Twitch stuff, it's I don't know how to properly appreciate the donators, right? Because and it goes on both sides. On one hand, when they donate, I want them to know that I appreciate it, right? On the other hand, I don't like being a dancing monkey for it, right? it right on the other hand I don't like being a dancing monkey for it right so like if they donate me three dollars I'm supposed to stop the show for everyone and read out what you wrote and sometimes what you wrote is no way no

you get Jimmy John with a three dollar donation Thank You Jimmy fueling the killing machine let's keep going that's all you get Jimmy for three dollars and I think you should think of it like you're a street performer you're that guy in vegas who's over there doing the fucking robot or transforming into a truck or whatever you're closer to that than a beggar because a beggar is saying i have fucking nothing to offer nothing in my pocket please have mercy on me you're saying look at all that's good about me don't you want to fuel this kind of uh it's it's like an endowment for the arts when they're when they're giving money to you let me get it that way i just recently set up a patreon account and that was that felt that felt a nicer way to do i mean i like the youtube because that feels like you know

i put videos up people watch videos i get paid right that's great and the patreon was a little bit like that too but that's a that's a patron of the arts that makes it that's a relationship that makes sense to me in some degree right it's kind of a background thing i can do things like you know i might release this earlier i might put names here i might do hangout sessions whatever i might do with the various tiers of that that's still like the patron kind of goes into this with the regular supporting donations i mean i'm 33 now it's had a birthday 33 and you know i have a life and i want to be able to live a relatively normal life while doing this and that requires things like financial planning paying insurance health bills you know it's like the bills don't stop just because of shitty month

on twitch and i don't like the unpredictability of twitch like financial income for a month you know and maybe when he gets to some larger channel that's just much larger than me it doesn't matter the ups and downs are such that you're already so high it doesn't make too much of a difference so this was a big thing onision what he said was i have a mortgage it's hard to pay now i have health care bills that are hard to pay and uh i think he mentioned something else and he's like people depend on me i can't just kill myself but like the mere mention of it like the thought crossing his mind was alarming keemstar made this big thing about it told everyone that it was a

lie, that he didn't have a mortgage, that he didn't have healthcare bills and all those things. So Onision makes a counter video where he like produces his bills and says, look, I told you it was $1,400. And there it was like $1,413. And he said what his mortgage was, I think too. And then they produces the document and it's right in line with what he said, and then he shows himself, and Keemstar's like, he's telling you he's gonna kill himself, you have to buy his merch,

he's so full of shit, he owns his house. He's like, I don't own my house. Here's my mortgage. Here's my rate. It was 3% something, and he just sort of, I think Keemstar did what Keemstar does. He makes a lot of assumptions and guesses that he's right.

He thinks he has a sense about finding criminals and such, when really he just guesses. But he did defend the whole... He's like, these are creative people, and they're more on the edge. And he's like, I think there's a chance that people will kill themselves because of YouTube. And I don't know.

Inision's a little in touch with mental illness you i mean like because kill themselves because of youtube like you could you could then say like oh someone killed themselves because of twitter justin tv or whatever like who knows maybe if they did it wasn't you know that guy well let me explain his point a little better he said people kill themselves after they lose their jobs right that's a thing that that happens you know it'll kick people into that kind of depression i think that's the most common thing before men kill themselves yeah losing your job yeah yeah so or divorce and he was comparing i don't know say you know cut in half losing your dick he was yeah he was comparing

your pay getting cut like in filthy says 40 to 60%, to losing a job. And then this happening to creative people, he sort of put it out there as a multiplier. Oh, okay. It didn't seem crazy to me. I mean, but that's a little... You're looking at the links to creativity and neuroticism for Big Five style stuff. Is that where you're going with that? You're over my head have you done that down sure like big five personality traits they use it for um they so one

of the tests that you take when you do uh job interview style stuff it's one of these tests they're looking at the predictive outcomes from various personality traits and i bet you what they're myers-briggs says that no myers-briggs doesn't have any predictive validity where big five does so myers-briggs is kind of like that's the that's cocktail psychology you're having a lot of fun but it doesn't fucking mean anything whereas Big Five actually has a lot of predictive validity you can get outcomes out of it you can see who's going to be a better worker

who's going to be more productive this type of stuff and neuroticism I bet you I don't know this is one but what it sounded like is it sounds like you're linking neuroticism to like you're saying that creativity neuroticism somewhat linked and then you're looking at then the the outcomes from that being higher suicide from that maybe yeah i'm saying that and i was saying it doesn't make sense it doesn't sound off as you explain that really well yeah so um anyway

yeah so this youtube thing i haven't even looked at my ad rates really i thought they were about the same but i usually look at the 30 day one so yeah yeah that's what i've been doing i'd think well maybe are you in a network like is my network protecting me from this drop somehow i'm not in a network my understanding was this so this is this would be interesting this would be something worth talking about maybe for any aspiring youtubers in your audience because when i got into this i didn't know what a network was and then i wanted nothing to do with the network because it seemed like a terrible deal and then i basically all my shit started this was a couple years ago all my shit started getting copyright flag regardless what i was doing so i and i joined a network and that went away

and i've since then uh within the last year left the network again because that portion of youtube has changed again they don't do that anymore and I don't see the point of a network right now. Now, I hear there are some benefits. I don't know about you, but I get shit tons of cold call emails. Join our network. We can give you these. We can do this for you. These great rates, this type of shit. And I remember when I first started YouTubing, I was getting offers for 50 50s like splits of youtube revenue i think i got one just the other day it was like 95 5 in my favor because the networks don't fucking do anything anymore so i don't know this maybe there are some benefits so maybe your network for example i'll be curious if you want to share any of the benefits that your network

it's gonna it's gonna depend a lot on the size of your channel and what you mean to the network. What you mean to the network has a lot to do with what your network will mean to you. So if you're a tentpole for that network, if you're a guy with like 15 or 20 million subscribers and you're their guy, they'll do a lot of things for you. Because when you do well, they do well. They'll try to get you deals. They'll try to get you sponsored content. They'll try to get you in other kinds of media. You'll be their guy.

They'll act as an agent for you in many ways, a talent agent. They'll also give you a more preferable deal. They might give you 100% of the money because you're making them money just by being attached to them. They don't care about 5% of your money. They're like, keep it all. Just be one of our guys, and we can pitch you with our other three guys to TBS for our YouTubers Go Wacky TV show, or whatever they're into over there. But if you're a small guy,

what you're looking at is what kind of protections they can provide you, mostly, against things like those copyright strikes you were talking about, and weird scenarios where an automated system at YouTube just fucks you right in the ass, and you didn't even deserve it. If you can get on the phone or send an email to a guy who will, within a day or two, be like, oh yeah, let me call Jim up at Google or Joe up at YouTube. We'll sort that right out. That's

invaluable. I've had so many calls like that. It's been one of the most, again, one of the most confusing things going into this profession is that I have no training in business, no background in business whatsoever. And I'm sorting through, you know, just this huge number of offers in terms of, you know, not only things like, you know, like I get like a lot of developers contacting while I stream their game,

that kind of stuff's a little bit simpler, but like joining networks, about these peripherals, about joining, you know, and none of it, and again, none of it is particularly intuitive in terms of feeling out what this is. A lot of times,

I don't even know what the fuck they're doing. don't know what they're offering sometimes to be like we would like you to be a part of this i'm like i don't know what that means at my peak i had offers like what do you can keep 100 and then you'll be part of our gaming network and you can get like five percent of what everyone else brings in um but currently my network it really has two purposes for me yeah triangle scheme i know they may appear but scheme it made me a little uncomfortable but um uh i get protections like i'm a the highest level of like i think they call it a managed channel is does that sound right to people and uh that means a lot of the automated tools that find like problems and music violations

and stuff don't run against my videos and And if someone like copyright claims me or like, you know, tries to put a strike on me, it's not automated. Like a human has to actually approve the strike, which for me is really valuable. Cause I guess, cause I'm so fucking charming.

A lot of people hate me, right? There are people who just fucking hate me. And, you know, they would like 4chan used to like wage campaigns against me and stuff so those protections meant a lot and then the other is um if i ever need to call or something i had like like i don't call youtube to help me i call my network and then

they have like actual people they can call and get some help so i mean some of that maybe legacy related stuff i mean as i said like for a while i was with the network and it was actually beneficial because for a while there was something i don't i still to this day do not know what it was but essentially everything i was posting was getting flagged and i joined a network that went away it felt a bit like extortion quite honestly something like you know even though i joined a network it's protection money and it's like nothing oh you joined a network sure we'll take 10 everything is fine again you know it's like somebody knocked the windows out of your you joined a network? Sure, we'll take 10%. Everything is fine again. It's like somebody knocked the windows out of your storefront. The next day, a nice-dressed Italian man showed up, and he's like, oh, for shame.

A little protection. Those were some great windows. But I mean I've been without that now for I think eight or nine months, and it's been – I've got an audio recording of Keemstar trying to get a guy to get a strike against my channel. It's from like two years ago or something. I keep shit like that. And like, that's the kind of stuff that happens to me. So those protections are still valuable. And it might be out of date, but like I switched networks, I don't know, three years ago, something like that.

And for like 15 minutes or two hours, I wasn't in a network and i had like 18 20 strikes against me or something like it was outrageous so uh so that i guess that protection is helping me i don't know i haven't been unprotected for a long time philip i uh i see your bike back there how often do you ride so um actually it's funny my wife was like do you want to move that out before you do this PK? I'm like, no, I'll be fine. I think you guys were talking about some fitness-related stuff, right? Yeah, yeah. How much would you like, though?

Bring that up, too. Kyle was parlaying that into it. I do biking and I do rock climbing as the kind of two things I do for fitness. In the winter, I live in Illinois, outside of Chicago. In the winter months this is not a fun area to be biking in so uh this year i bought a bike trainer this is not actually the bike for that the bike i use my my main bike outdoor riding bike is now outside again i moved it back out uh but i had a bike trainer set up and this was the location that i could do it in

right like right behind my computer i could watch streams as i was biking or whatever else and i did that for some of my uh winter exercise so this is my old piece of shit mountain bike that's from like 10 years ago that is just here right now because i don't have space in the garage area that i have for this place so this is on its way to goodwill but my main bike climbing as a form of fitness that's awesome like i i'm so intrigued by that because i can't even do indoor climbing without getting freaked out okay well i i have a there's a gym about uh 10 to 15 minutes from the indoor climbing gym i go I'm so intrigued by that because I can't even do indoor rock climbing without getting freaked out. Okay, well, there's a gym about 10 to 15 minutes from me, an indoor climbing gym. I go outdoor rock climbing a couple times a year generally in the vicinity of three or four on a good year for like summer trips.

I'm not hardcore about it. I'm not like I want to go out when it's freezing fucking cold. I want to enjoy the experience. But I do indoor rock climbing on average probably two to three times a week so that's cool what does it entail like do you just go for like an hour to some rock climbing place and just it depends on what you want to do i'm pretty low-key about it i go for about two hours probably with my wife and i do it together which is pretty great it's a great sport for couples because it has nothing to do my rock climbing ability or her rocking climbing ability is totally independent in terms of what we're climbing so you know it turns out you, she climbs basically what I do and sometimes she's better than me and sometimes vice versa.

But if, for example, she was much better than me, we could go and we could do routes that I'm getting the routes I want. She gets the routes she wants and it's not going to impact each other. So, yeah, I mean, if you have a gym, I mean, I don't know what population center you're near. I don't know where you live. But if you have a large population center near you, you probably have an indoor rock climbing gym somewhere you get a membership why don't indoor rock climbing gyms have those automatic belayers everywhere auto blaze yeah auto blaze kind of suck as a whole um they're they're easier if you don't know how to belay they're certainly auto play auto play you don't need to go to partner so um you're doing top

roping which means the well i'm doing lead climbing or top roping. It's different types of climbing, right? The rope's above you, it's a top rope. But the ropes are already hanging there, you tie into it. So you tie into one end, someone else ties into the other end. You climb up, if you fall, the other person is catching you. That's a belayer, right? That's the person who's doing that.

Auto belay is essentially you tie into the rope, the other part of that rope is tied into a hydraulic system somewhere. And if you fall, you're getting caught and lowered on hydraulics yeah and as you climb it's it's like taking up the slack right and the thing about a hydraulic system it has a pull on it right because that's that's the weight it has so you see these little kids who are under who weigh less than the amount the hydraulics pull they're actually pulled up and the parents bring in and there's like arms because when they climb up they can't get down again unless the parent can pull the cord down. But anyways, it fucks up your climbing to some degree.

So it's, for me, a less pleasant experience doing it. Because I'm getting continually pulled by the rope attached to my harness in a direction, a slight amount. What if you added some weight? What if you wore a weighted vest? That's probably really hard. and play really hard but the point is the point is in general like you want minimal impact on you want minimal impact from the rope as you're climbing so you know i do leading as well and you know when i'm leading if i'm in a particularly precarious place trying to clip i don't want my belayer tugging on that fucking rope and throwing me off balance or knocking because it will knock

me off you know it's not going to hurt me i'm going to be caught on something but it's going to screw up my climbing to some degree so i guess the answer to why not auto blares because regular blares are better i've done it a couple times but for me like needing one i don't know how to play uh so i have to like bring someone who does or attend a course and whatever it's been a barrier to entry and then now every time i go i have to have a partner that wants to like you know carry me around and and vice versa it's like I so I didn't realize it I don't know if I were single I would go to a rock gym for date for dating and I would do that as a Blair like not joking bling and and uh probably bouldering because it's a great people there rock climbers are fit because it's a really

fucking bad sport uh it's a sport. It's a community that encourages interaction because a lot of people go to a rock climbing gym solo and then they're looking for belay partners while they're there. So it's a great place for that. And I don't know, I mean, belaying, to learn how to belay takes about five minutes. And like, yeah, you do have to get certified at these gyms because it requires you get certified. But a lot of times it may be an hour course and it's just a safety course. You it once you're certified for basically life you don't have to worry about it again so if it's a barrier knock it out like i'll take you take you one session how much is a mountain bike how much is a mountain bike i i have a road bike um i bought

about i mean this bike this is about 10 years old. This is like a $350 bike. I just bought like a $1,400 like road bike that I use. There's a trail. It's kind of, kind of, well, it's like a hybrid almost. There's, there's, there's, they have the rails, the trail style stuff in my area, which is like old train tracks that we converted into a bike path. And there's one like right outside my house, which is fucking awesome.

So like, I, you know, I'll go 10 or 15 mile bike ride, you know, a couple of days, a couple couple days a week on that and just enjoy that. I have a friend who goes mountain biking. And I have two friends that go mountain biking. And their bikes are like $3,000 and $5,000. And I'm just like, damn. So I don't think I'd enjoy it if I had garbage. And I don't want to throw out $3,000 to see if I like it.

You never know. I bet the garbage would be fine. My parallel is with guns and stuff. You go to shoot skeet and there's that guy with a ridiculously expensive shotgun. But a shotgun that's literally a tenth of what it costs or a twentieth

will do the exact same shit. Mostly. You're still fucking shooting the same bullets at the same target. It's all about how you're connecting with the gun. To be honest, I'm doing it for a workout, right? So I see sometimes I'm sitting there and I'm like, did I kick myself in the ass? I mean, I really like my road bike. It's a comfortable bike to ride.

It's really nice. It's not super lightweight or anything. But it's a massive upgrade over the mountain bike that I have back there for trail riding, for this type of trail riding but i occasionally see people out there on those super fat tired you know uh they're like mountain bike sprains those super fat tires they're essentially training they're doing the same amount of distance i'm doing it may be comparable speeds depending on what i'm feeling and what they're doing and they're probably burning like twice the calories because that fucker has so much, you know, like surface area that they're dragging along.

That's a substance. You might be able to do more interesting trails or more trails, or maybe you do obstacles better with better suspension in the forest. Do that crazy downhill shit. Sure. Like if that's the type of thing you're doing, I mean, I'm essentially doing, I mean, I'm in an urban area, right?

So it's like essentially doing, it's trail riding in the sense it's, you know, in between trees and there's a, you know, a gravel trail of a sort type deal. But it's not- There are a few YouTube videos that stress me out as much

as those mountain bike straight down one where he's got like the GoPro. And because the GoPro I've realized now is like fitted up on the head, it makes it feel even more like you're like leaning too far over something you know like and the whole time like i always wonder like these bikers like how do you know what angle you're actually going at like because at some point you're just gonna

float away like off like in fall or something like it just oh it looks so exciting the wooden trails where you like ride the bank and go that's really cool looking yeah i like that that's amazing and they're so talented like what happens is i mentally be like all right i could do that yeah what is a two-foot jump that's within my skill set and then at some point you're just like no no it wouldn't have worked out for me at all those people are very good. Yeah, when I used to go trail biking when I was a kid, the ones we would do obviously weren't intense like what Filthy's probably doing,

but usually, I'm sure most pads are like this now that I'm thinking about it for common sense, there would be an easy way you could go straight through the forest where they'd have a a woo like dip and jump over like a log or something and i would always be like balls to the wall going as fast as i could and then just be like no no no i'm not gonna do that because i could just see in my head me flying over doing that like kid chest to the handrail thing where you just go and then you just fall there and that was me skiing growing up tiller like you know like i think i tried it a few times like all right yeah we're gonna try and i did a couple of them and like i didn't seriously hurt myself but a lot of like nasty

falls on skis and like off jumps and i'm like you know i like going fast on skis but i like not fucking falling at the same time yeah i love skiing skiing's great but you can rationalize like there's no rocks under this snow. It's just snow. And somebody already got hurt today. What are the chances I would? You know, like... Do you guys think like that?

No. Oh, yes. You do? Like, if I'm at a beach and someone was just bit by a shark... I'm good! I'm still not going to go underwater and fuck with it. That's straight-up gambler's fallacy. That's the...

It is a fallacy, 100%. Independent events. It's a straight up gambler's fallacy. It is a fallacy, 100%. Independent events. They do not affect one another in any way whatsoever. And I'm aware of that. And yet, and yet filthy, have you ever, ever, ever, ever, ever

heard about two people on one beach being bitten in the same day? No. Let me give you an example, right? Let me just give you something to throw that through a loop. Alright, you're swimming, the guy's swimming along, you're swimming next to him, and a shark bites him. Are you more or less likely to be bitten by that shark? More.

Independent events. Honestly, I think you're less by that shark, because that shark now knows what people taste like. He didn't like it, or he just kept going. Sharks' blood, that shit, right? Sharks sees blood, he keeps eating. No, they want fat. They don't want blood. So they bit him, they evaluate his fat content.

Far too low, unless it was an American beach. I think that shark attacks happen in clusters. And it's not necessarily about how nice humans are to eat. It's about the conditions, right? Like, oh, they're mating right now. Or the water temperature is about right, and this is where the sharks aspire to be. I completely disagree. I am a licensed professional

oceanographer. I completely disagree. I believe that the shark is on the lookout for a meal, and sure, if he mistakes you for a seal, if you're up there paddling on your board, they always show that below camera angle it looks like a seal i think they'll come after you to your question if the guy next to me gets bit the chance of me getting more or less bit there's a zero chance i'm gonna get bit because i'm abandoning that guy and back back to shore for this swimmer you know like where i was going was you know like all right independent sample you say one in a million shark do people get shark bit okay well okay that might be true and it is independent right like kyle goes all right one guy got bit i'm good no no no you're not they're independent it's still

one in a million on that but the other thing is if there's a fucking shark there you're more likely to be bit period right so it's like you're not safe just because all right all right he's on the ski slope right i think some fallacy in that argument slammed into a tree now we know there's some fallacy in that argument. He hit a bump funny, slammed into a tree. Now we know that spot is dangerous. There's a hazard there. That bump projects you into the tree. There's too much fallacy in this argument. The issue here is there's a bump in the road. That bump will always be there,

completely indiscriminately causing accidents. It has no choice in the matter. It's a hole. If you hit it, an accident is caused. And so that road will always be more dangerous because of that hole. But if a shark bites a person, and there's only one shark at this beach, he tasted that person, he didn't like what he found, he won't bite any more people ever again.

But if it was a fat person, Kyle, does that throw your argument for a loop? Why is a shark not pleased with biting that person? I looked up some details. Because fat content is low and a lot of calories per meal. If you look at the stuff that sharks attack, it's those seals. They're all blubber. It's those blubbery animals. The actual answer

is it turns out that the number of shark attacks is closely related to the number of people in the water. The more people you get there, the more sharks are inclined to bite them. That's why they all happen in shallow water. That's where most people are.

Most shark attacks are in shallow water? That's true. The overwhelming majority. Percentage-wise. I never thought, do I swim for deep water? Am I safe? Not at all. It's colder here. I don't know where I am.

Most people just don't go in the ocean like where they can't touch or they don't spend much time there so i uh we i if you if you saw a shark like a big scary shark like washed up on the beach would you bully it a little bit like that it was out of its element i've done it you have well how was that like uh i don't even know how much good it was the shark washed up i was a lifeguard a whole crowd of people like surrounded it and uh you know we like picked it up by the tail because i was worried i'd get bit and somehow i thought he couldn't bite his own tail it's probably not true and i picked it up by the tail and uh and we carried it into whatever

two feet of water or something because i wanted to to escape. And he went, like, right back to the beach. Then I did it again, and then he swam away, presumably to die out in the water. I don't know. I'm sure he was on the ground for a good reason. But that's what happened. I poked through, I guess it was a jellyfish. It looked like one when I was, like, 10 on a beach in,

I don't know where it was. But it was just, like like a perfectly clear circle like that big with its little tendrils just on the beach and i put my finger through it to like poke it yeah and see what it felt like and it just went like just like right through right through the jelly and like you could feel the the weird rubbery part i'm sure you've you've poked your share of jellies. I have a lot of experience with jellies. Yeah, yeah. So I don't know, like, don't take this around the world because I'm sure there's some, like, terrible jellyfish in Australia.

That's where all the shit is. But East Coast jellyfish, if they're clear, they don't bug you at all. It's that brown shit in there. And by the way, they are just as bad dead as they are alive. So there are times when it's especially warm out, there'll be like just jellyfish all over the water. And like, like Lily won every like square foot or cubic foot.

And they're dead. They're just as bad as they are alive. I just got back from Singapore and Thailand a couple of weeks ago. And when we were out in Thailand, one of Thailand, on one of the beaches, we saw a sign that said, Beware Portuguese Man of War. I was like, oh, fuck. Are you kidding me? That is one of the bad ones.

They're not in Jersey. I'm like, I'm not fucking around with that whatsoever. The idea of that is not at all appealing to me. How many people were swimming? They're everywhere. If there's one there, that one is everywhere. It's a real problem.

Let's watch this video. This is fucking crazy. Oh, we didn't talk about workout talk. Me and Taylor have been doing kettlebells. Taylor is cutting calories and I am adding calories at a pretty ridiculous disparity there how many calories are you taking in a day uh a little less than 2000 and yeah a lot of protein

in that going for like 200 grams a day six foot okay it's quite a lot i mean you must be must be doing a lot of working out then if that's cutting on top of that. Yeah. Yeah. Cause you're like, what's your, what's your base? Like your base,

like metabolism has got to be like, I mean, that's probably what, like I'm six, two and I'm somewhere around like 1800 or 1850 or something for like base, like just like, Oh, like base.

No, it'd be more than that. If you checked, it's like to maintain, or you're also thinner than me. So that probably makes sense. But like I'm sure like my base rate right now is probably like twenty two hundred and twenty three hundred. Maybe I'm not sure.

I bet it's more than that. I I'm on the other end, though. I'm eating over three thousand calories every single day eating these these weight gainer protein shakes each scoop. Like remember, like before, remember like before high efficiency high efficiency uh laundry uh detergent pods and stuff like that you had to scoop that big scoop of tide that's how big the scoop is for my protein powder it's fucking enormous like it's this thick thousand calorie milkshake that i'm drinking down for at least one meal every day often two um i'm i'm just cramming calories in and trying to gain weight.

And I'm doing the kettlebells because he got them and he seemed to like them. And I've got a set of kettlebells I've been doing now. And I try to mix that into my – And the sex swing. Yeah, combine those. Yep, yep, yep. And then I like to run. I like to get on my – not actual running, but on an elliptical machine.

I have a really nice one, and I get on that thing. It's just zero impact, and it's nice. I have to do an indoor workout, and I don't really like indoor workouts. I do like ellipticals. Yeah. I can do that, and I can, I don't know, I can kind of zone out. It's got a fan on it. It's got Bluetooth connectivity.

It plays my music. And it faces, and I just opened the door so i'm i'm like looking at nature from inside my house while i'm on it so i like that thing yeah the kettlebells are going good for kyle and i at least i know we're doing that and woody's doing the running but but yeah kyle is we really are on opposite sides of the spectrum because you're trying to work out and put on some muscle and gain weight and And I'm really trying to cut all the shit, all the belly fat and all the other places where I self-shame myself. And, you know, every day when you slap your fat and it doesn't jiggle around as much, you know, you've made a little bit of progress right there or just use

the scale. That's simpler, but it's not when you when you do the slap and you see that but yeah yeah it's going i'm liking it a lot i'm i'm i feel better now that i'm doing it like i'm still like exhausted i feel really good workout and i'm getting uh another 35 pound one and then a 50 pound one uh for the one arm thing yeah uh yeah for like the shoulder press kind of thing because i i don't know i'm really enjoying it i'm liking it way more than i thought it i mean winter is a shitty time to be working out too like for me anyways like i mean it's so it's it's easy to maintain or lose body weight or just like stay really fit during the nice weather fucking winter i'm so tired of illinois winter i'm so ready to move out of this state like i like chicago just fine but i'm ready to be gone

out of illinois because i'm so fucking tired of the winters. I'm just like, I'm going somewhere warm. You know, given a couple more years, global warming is almost ready. We're like, we're not quite like everyone's dying yet. We'll get a few good years in between. Maybe I'll be able to capitalize on that. Yeah. So on the diet front, I've been doing pretty well.

Today, I went to Wendy's today's today which and i got a salad and i didn't even put dressing on it which is like an alcoholic going to a bar no it sounds terrible yeah yeah but it's like an alcoholic going to a bar and ordering a club soda like it was it was a win for me i'm a big fan of wendy's and all i had was their fucking salad um for dinner that's a harder decision than people give credit for Going to a place you want Being like I don't want the burger I want a salad I didn't want the burger

I can't do that I would fail that My solution would be not to go there My wife and I do it totally different You might be more motivated if we switch bodies I thought you said you were better than me I was about to be like yes Willpower regulation issues I regulate by not buying the shit you know? I thought you said you were better than me. I was about to be like, yes, willpower

regulation issues. I regulate by not buying the shit, not eating it when I get it. If it's home and I'm there, sooner or later, I'll get drunk one night and I'll eat it. I have to do that with snacks, too. I can't keep Cheez-Its and Goldfish and chips and all the salty stuff

that I want because you eat salty food. It's not like a candy bar I think salty foods are so much more dangerous than candy bars because like when people when if someone's like oh, I love candy It's my vice. It's like alright well when you went to the store more than likely you bought a candy bar and Then you went home and you ate your snack of a candy bar Whereas if you go and you get chips or cheese it's you're buying a box and then you can just sit there and mindlessly eat it the whole like it's or for me at least i think they're way more chicken with

nothing else and at some point in the day i had a snack of um a tomato that i eat like an apple and uh that's pretty disciplined day for me um but on exercise i didn't do shit today. Yeah. I had a good excuse, but I couldn't. So, and then yesterday for exercise, I went paramotoring. I got three flights in. I met up with some friends. I said 10 miles away and landed and whatever. So that's kind of exercise. I explained this on PKN, but most people haven't heard it.

It's like sex. Like, is sex exercise? It burns calories. Kind of. More than sleeping, I guess. But, like, no one really gets super fit having sex. That's kind of how I feel about paramotoring. We haven't carried that to its extreme.

At least I haven't. Yeah, right? Yeah. I just have to, you know, you start, you lose enthusiasm. You just need a better woman. Yeah, I just – after you start, you lose enthusiasm. But – You just need a bigger woman. See, the problem is you guys are that guy who goes to the gym and starts off with the 20-pound dumbbell doing curls, and you've been doing the 20-pounder your whole goddamn life.

As you master the lower weights, you move up to a larger woman. And that's how you gain mass and build lean, hard muscle with sex. And I mean, to be fair, like probably as you get better at this workout, like you're going to go longer. She's going to go longer. She's going to lose a lot of body fluid. You do that standing maneuver where you like move her up and down. If she was too small to begin with, she's dead. You could change your supportive straps to be like bungee and just add a whole otherher thing to the exercise i don't know i'm just

thinking out loud here but but anyway yeah so it was an active day for me and but like i just i just don't count it as like good exercise but i bought a skateboard today as lame as that sounds but i skated in my younger day i was never good but i i used it for transportation because bicycles were uncool and uh i'm like you know maybe let's do that so i actually bought a longboard and i thought maybe i would find that more fun than running i got i got fucked recently like just we got changed about that that's moderate exercise not if you're getting fucked yeah that's right that's zero exercise that's just lying that no but just in terms of um you know like i i swear i told you i you see the bike in the back i switched from my inside trainer which

i was pretty good about over the winter like we got like i finally it was the end of april we got a bunch of good weather i'm like finally i can go back to biking outdoors which i massively prefer i get so bored biking indoors and i and i you know took it all down back outside and the last week has been rain solid fucking rain at 45 degree weather all week long and yeah i could brave it and just do it get the shit and do it but it's such a pain in the ass that's that's that's that's why i fail on the exercise front it's just like i'm a convenience exerciser if i if i walk out of my house go for a bike ride go for run i'm golden you know like quick quick drive to the gym 10 minute drive to the gym go climbing for a couple hours i'm golden the minute it's like an hour to get to the gym

i'm just like not interested anymore or you know it's like pouring rain that's my problem with hockey so i enjoy ice hockey but there's almost an hour on either side of it you know like just the drive there that you don't wear your hockey equipment to the place. So you have to like change while you're there and then, you know, get all dressed up and then you wait and you do your thing. And then the reverse of it is true. The hockey is a very inconvenient like workout, but it's fun.

So that's nice. And also I like that. It's cool. Like as in temperature, you know, I feel like I don't play hockey and just want to fall over or pass out or anything because I'm always chilled. Man, I hate physical workout.

The combination of cold exterior and super sweaty interior, I really have always hated as an exercise workout. I don't like working out in full water. You ever done swimming as an exercise? I have. I hate that feeling of being unable to shed heat because the medium doesn't work for it.

The opposite. That's the third place to be. Kyle, you have links here? The bottom link is an 800 watt electric skateboard for off road. Thought that looked cool. You probably know about cooler stuff. I name that youtuber has a cool powered board

but it's more yeah he's got an it's sort of a city vibe like maybe a 300 watt or something but this is a cool look I just fall off of 25 times in a row and like sell on eBay or something and then the first link is the most insane amateur driving i've ever seen uh ever it's out fucking rages this guy not what he's doing is is super dangerous and super like shitty to the people around him but you've got to appreciate the skill it's incredible he outruns some thousand cc bikes in a car are we watching either of those together? Yeah.

I checked out the skateboard real quick, Kyle. That does look amazing and not that expensive, really, for what you get. It's 30% off. That's right. $636. Don't even give the absolute value. Just tell them it's 30% off. It's a deal.

Off of what? Off of that other number. It does say list. Shall we watch this awesome driving? Yes. It's a bit loud. It's not in English, but none of that matters. Muted.

You want some volume. You want to hear the screams of the pedestrians. Passenger. Ready, set, play. passenger ready set play Audi R8 V10 R electronic

manual shift sport mode oh he gets passed by a jigsaw it's angry when those bikes pass him this looks like it's sped up no no please don't start a race. That's the passenger. This is every driver I hate on the fucking interstate. You pass them and they speed up. I'm thinking the bikers.

Yeah, he wants to race bikers. They like signal to go race. Jesus. These guys completely abandoned the line system of roads long ago. It's just trippy. He's waving goodbye to bikes. Like, see ya. Just took three lanes. This is how it looks though. When you're going that fast, everyone else looks stationary. When you're going 120, 60 looks fucking stationary. This is fast forwarded a little bit I think, because his hand movements are a little awkwardly quick sometimes.

Unless maybe he's just speed dating. I think he's just speed dating, man. Because he looked like a shirt-loving... Someone I consider riding with but not doing myself. He got me, so... Like, if you hear the pass... He got passed by the bikes. Oh, not for long. Passed one of them and backed up.

I would not want to get into a race with a car as a biker. He is so close to them! Like, one little tap and you're dead. Fuckin' ass. Hopefully they're not trying to kill one another. Yeah. I just mean, like, accidentally, one little tap and... Look at the back tire! Look at the biker's back tire! They're not trying to kill one another. Yeah. I just accidentally one look at the back tire.

Look at the biker's back tire. It's fucking barely can stick in the road. As we go through this, there, yeah. Oh my God. He's going so fast through this traffic. It's sped up though. It's definitely sped up. The way he's moving his hand, this is 100% sped up.

The audio doesn't sound sped up, it's his voice, the words. This is so fucking machismo for no other reason than just being fucking machismo. This is so fucking much for no other reason fucking much The monkey who's like watch me stand on the cliff because I'm the greatest monkey the ribs watch This this guy's tempting fate like They all go on to risk everyone else's life another day That's it. They just signaled each other good grades. They gave each other thumbs up, and that's it. They all go on to risk everyone else's life another day. Two of them die.

Five minutes later, the rest of this book is the two bikes just flaming on the fucking side of the road. And if it did happen, wouldn't you kind of think, well, what were you thinking? I would have been impressed by that driving if that were Grand Theft Auto or Gran Turismo or a video game. Right?

But that was real life, that dude in his very expensive sports car with someone he cared about, driving through traffic full of human beings, racing thousands of CPC motorcycles with other human beings on them. The highest level of risk and reward there can possibly be, although there's not much reward. Let's add to this. Amateurs, right? They don't do this for a living. They don't have any fucking training in this in all likelihood. This isn't like, you know, this is a closed

course with professionals doing this with stunts. This is just some asshole who got angry when a biker passed him. He's showing off for his girlfriend and he's putting everyone at fucking huge amounts of risk. Yeah, that's what I said from the beginning. What he's doing is pretty shitty because everybody out there, he's taking their life taking his hands whether they like it or not.

You know what? We were a little bit of slip. Right? You know, you shouldn't be choosing my risk profile. That's where it gets unfair. We were a small patch of slippery road from seeing that exact same video from Ryan Dunn like five years ago the next morning. But that didn't happen because he ran i don't know

he was pretty wasted no way he could take those turns and paddle shift like that you see that guy's hands he was working it i just mean like if someone like that drove past me on the highway i would wish death upon them like i would i would be like god i hope that you just careen into a gully somewhere and don't hit anyone and you your car, but you're alive long enough to see your car is ruined. I'm a bit of a selfish bastard perhaps when it comes to that. I remember I had a friend I did some very long road trips with and

he loved to drive super fast. I mean, this isn't like this type of fast. This is just some shitty car that we're driving fast in, but he's doing 100 on the highway, right? And I was okay being in the car with him although i didn't like to watch directly you know seep out back try to sleep style stuff you know i was okay because i'm like we'll get there faster the selfish part of me

is like all right we'll get there faster but the other part of me is like i wasn't doing that when it was my turn to drive you know like i'd reasonable pace certainly a little bit faster than probably supposed to speed limits but i a don A, don't really want to fucking die, and, B, don't really want to have the risk of running that. Like, I mean, the other thing is, here, it's just, like, I don't know. I'm a little bit concerned about how long does he do this before he gets pulled over. You know, the first cop I go by with that,

the first cop sees that and goes, I'm a bored fucking cop sitting in a speed trap. This asshole in a sports car chasing a bike just went by it. You know, I don't even know what that is. What is it is 260 kilometers per hour is that 280 what is that like 130 miles an hour right 140 i'm gonna do less impressive oh yeah you know what let's keep it in kilometers you know it's gonna be over half right how many 17 many feet per second? 174 miles per hour. Oh, man. Our metric system is bad.

180 is three times 60, right? So, I mean, that's three times what you're driving on the highway, don't you think? Yeah, that's fucking really fast. What a douche. Third the time to get there. I don't drive 60 on the highway, but anyway. No, you get the rough estimate. I agree. Yeah, yeah.

Some people do today i did but uh yeah i don't know man i the risk reward for driving fast like that isn't there for me in my like with my brain chemistry because i think that's probably what it comes down to or my personality or whatever um because i've driven really fast in dangerous conditions not just on road cars but like off-road where um and buggies and and all kinds of stuff like that and it is fun and it's exhilarating but if you ever like lose it and like just barely get it together in some gravel or something you're like oh the fear i felt from what was about to happen completely outweighs all the fun that that i could ever have doing this like like let's just not do this anymore this is not cool i've i've gotten out of like i've lost control

before and stuff and that terror is just it grabs your heart you know it's like oh this is do or die do i dot do okay i live i live now like you're in that moment of like maybe i'm about to die for like a split second and that's not a good feeling. My brain chemistry is different. That is an awesome feeling to me. It depends what it is. You got to try some rock climbing then. When Taylor was talking about the mountain bike trails, the easy and hard,

that kind of thing to me would be like Wings of Redemption on a video game. Like, oh, I always play that shit on hard mode. Now, maybe I haven't seen these particular trails. But by and large like when i go skiing it's black diamonds all day which are probably a little above my skill level but those are the ones i do because what am i a pussy and uh um yeah anyway and if i almost die and like hypothetically a paramotor accident or something that's uh that's a boatload of fun. Yeah, the equivalent of that in skiing is when you're going down a run with moguls that's, like, way more intense moguls than you thought,

and you're, like, in the bottom third of the run, and you're just, like, you don't even do, like, the cutting anymore. You're just going on the top of them. You know that you're, like, one bad leg movement because your legs aren't moving the same, you know, heights. You're one away from just eating shit and falling the rest of the way down, but you get to

the bottom of that run and you're just like, oh, I looked like a total goober to everybody up there, but I didn't fall and I don't have to pick anything up. Or one thing that I might go too slow on it, right? So I'm like just practically jumping from mogul to mogul and not really skiing.

And I'm like, all right i'm doing it nobody's impressed nobody but i didn't do it there's always those people on ski slopes on the mogul runs where like it's almost like like dante's descent into hell it's like you're you're like up on the ninth ring and it's like you know what'd you do well i thought i was way better at fucking skiing so now I'm not good enough to climb the eight feet to the top of this run and go to an easier one. And I'm not good enough to go down. And so

I'm stuck in a limbo. Purgatory. This is level eight purgatory. Beside. Yeah. And that's what happens on those difficult runs is like, every once in a while you'd like go down one and you see some shitty parent with like a five-year-old and you're like like this i don't care that you're swedish like this kid doesn't know what the fuck he's doing

out here like you're you're just wanting to go on this run and his mom or his dad wouldn't take the kid the one that's a little trickier is this when like they're like oh you know black diamond ahead well black diamond can mean a lot of things so you have to ski down like 300 vertical feet and a quarter mile and then you get to see why it's a black diamond you're like well now what they're not going back up there with ski boots and skis and stuff like that is a major effort so i guess i'll just uh risk my life on this thing here off we go this decision has been made they didn't provide a bailout sometimes about high testosterone she claims that you I'm a competitive, aggressive person.

This is what she claims. I don't always agree with that. But sometimes I do try to reflect on that. Do you ever catch the meta moment where you want to react away and you catch yourself reacting and you go, ah, that's that high testosterone again. Maybe your people brain catches your monkey brain. Yeah, exactly. you know like yeah your people brain catches your monkey brain yeah yeah you get into a moment and you're like whoa why aren't you about to smash those people at arby's like put the club down what have you done to yourself like like your lower brain will your

reptilian brain that little nugget in there will kick in every now and then and give you a cue and you're like and you'll start following the cue like some kind of auto run you're like whoa what am i even doing i saw i saw a age by competitiveness graph for gaming somewhere and it was like it was like almost linear it's like yeah the older you got the less you cared about fucking winning in like a competitive game or something oh i care so much yeah no i like you guys i imagine that's the average across the stock. It was also a mental age chunk. So anyway, Filthy says, do you ever catch yourself? I always catch myself. I am constantly having a negotiation on the pullback.

You know, for driving, I'm pretty good at it. I get to just chill. You wouldn't mind driving next to me. But like paramotoringoring every time it's like woody you know exactly how to do like the fucking most intense stuff you've read it you've seen the videos etc i have to convince myself to learn this in baby steps and and dial it back because i dude i could get a race car at 250 miles an hour i'm sure of it not long not long i'm not saying i do many trips

or even make it through the first corner but i could get it there because we know how and and that's how i am with all kinds of activities like i could just fucking rip this why don't i and i have to dial it back you ever uh whenever you bought the paramotor like like part of me was thinking like a competent similar sport like if i were if i were you i was thinking like what would i prefer as woody to paramotor because i was thinking of some suggestions and drag racing is something i really like i i think a lot of people think it's dumb or whatever but like i had a drag race car when i was younger and it's really fun you sit on the line the thing ticks down you fucking hit it and you go as fast as you can for a quarter of a mile it's

really fun and and the amateur version of it you do it on the same racetrack as like those funny cars that you see on tv like the jet fuel dragsters and stuff like you can park your fucking pickup truck on that line and go if you want like and and you know it's fun here's my problem with that it doesn't sound like fun i i did a different motors, rock crawling. I had this buggy, etc. And the ratio of fun, like the good part, to the preparation and the money and all that other stuff was out of this world.

I probably pulled a wrench maybe two hours for every hour of actual wheeling. And I bet drag racing is worse than that. The cool thing about drag racing is if you want, it depends which category you're in.

There's lots of them. It's cool if you're in the category where your car is a street car, essentially. When you're done racing it, it's your fast street car. I always thought as a kid, before I knew anything, it's like, yeah, drag racing is about who has the fastest car. That's the guy who wins. No no it has absolutely fucking shit all to do with how

fast your car is it's uh yes doesn't even fucking matter now there are classes like oh yeah this class everyone in it drives 300 miles an hour this class and and that's true but what's going on is you're trying to beat the light you're racing light, not the guy who's racing with you. That doesn't have anything to do with it either. So you're going to race your car over and over at a quarter mile and you figure out how long it takes you to do a quarter mile. Let's just say for easy math, it's a 10 second flat. Well, that light ticks down from, you know, it goes yellow, orange, and then green and you go. Your split there is very important. Your reaction time. So what you do is you tell them, I go from start to go in 10 seconds. They write 10 seconds down there.

You're trying to get as close to 10 seconds as you possibly can. It's about consistency, not about speed. You're trying to hit your number without going over it. That actually reduces my enjoyment in it right now. The idea of that, because that is essentially, that's like hitting a build order in it right now. The idea that because that is essentially that's like hitting a build order in an RTS. That's like, all right, at eight seconds, I hit the fucking worker.

At 12 seconds, I hit the barracks. It's like, I don't want to do that. That's not what I find enjoyable. That's interesting because it sounded really cool. You're like, yeah, you just bring your car and you just fucking floor it and see how fast you can go. It sounds like a blast. I'm sure if you show up with your car

and they go like, what's your time? And you go, ah, pish-posh. I currently drive a 2005 Dodge Neon. They do that. They do it all the time. You see that and it's really fun. How do they adjust your times as either your skill or your

car improves? No, no, no. See, again, you're missing it. It's not about how fast you go. It's about how close you are to your number. You're trying to be close to your number. It doesn't matter if you went fast or slow. Whether your number's 14 or 7, you're trying to hit that number. So hypothetically, my car is capable of an 8. I'm still targeting 10. I just don't want to go flat out. if I tell him 10 well you go as fat Well your car is gonna get see the only way you can be consistent is if you're giving it all you've got every single fucking Time like you can't you can't but I think what what he's asking which is brings an interesting question is Hypothetically if that is the case if you what you're actually looking at is your performance relative to the car's strengths You could actually face a dragster fucking

Perf but you know professional car versus like a dodge neon and you absolutely could have an adjustment ratio that's exactly how it works that's how they do it wasn't he asking right so what that's exactly how every single race works so let's say that my car does the quarter mile in 10 seconds yours does it in nine you get to leave a full second before me all right or the other way around yeah yeah you get to leave uh i get to leave a second before you so that if we both hit the gas the instant the light turns green we will arrive there simultaneously if we both knew exactly what our cars could do that makes sense so that so so it it balances the cars with each other so that it's about reaction time and handling.

In your scenario, mine does it in nine. You do it in ten, right? I pull an 8.9, so I won. You won't pull an 8.9. No, you won't. Yes, I will. You know why? Because for your races, I upgraded my tires, and now I'm ten faster.

You'd just lose. It's about the takeoff it's what it comes down to it's about how your reaction time on the takeoff and uh and being consistent your car just wouldn't practice it you don't even need to practice in a car then you know you don't they had this whole setup that's like you've got the the brake clutch gas and the whole thing and and if you've ever seen guys practice it john force uh used to have a tv show uh because he's got hot daughters who also race and it was his reality show and you'd see him in his man cave and he's in there

He's like watching this video game of a light ticking down practicing trying to get that reaction time. I just ruined the sport entirely for me Kyle. It's a shitty it's a really lame sport if you care about winning. What's fun to me and what was always fun to me is like I want to go fast.

Like I've got – I had a Trans Am with a 454 stroker in it and a three-speed fucking transmission and racing slicks on it, completely gutted out with a roll cage. And it's like, yeah, it's about going fast. I don't care about winning or losing. I like going fast. And this car doesn't have exhaust, of course. It's straight headers, so it just screams. That's the fun part to me. I would never want to be like a competitive drag racer

when those guys practice do they go to like chucky cheese where that thing spins around the middle and you have to hit the light between the two arched bars yeah you know they just boom i bet they're great at that which is probably going to make them more money than they otherwise would have in the drag racing sport they can resell those tickets to children in the cavemonger busters. Perhaps. While he has stepped away for who knows, let me tell you a bit about Dollar Shave Club. Dollar Shave Club is the smarter choice.

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We did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Company of Heroes 2. We played that one. You played Dawn of War 3 and all that? We haven't. Tell me. Yeah, that was our pre-roll sponsor.

Tell me about Dawn of War 3 I'm not in any way sponsored by this so all I'm going to say is my opinion and my opinion alone on this I've been playing this since I played a little bit of the beta they contacted me asked if I wanted to do it on my channel and I played a couple beta weekends I had a lot of experience with Dawn of War 1

a million years ago I played it in college and I was very competitive in it I didn't follow up on this, but I got invited to try out for the IGN, whatever the hell it is. Fly to Singapore, play this as a video game. So I was very fucking into Dawn of War 1. Hated Dawn of War 2.

Played that fucking game a little bit in beta and I was just like, this game is trash. I have no interest in doing that. And Dawn of War 3 rolled out and I had high hopes. And actually, so far, it's been amazing. It has the stuff I like out of the node-based system for capturing nodes. As well as the squad-based reinforcement system, which I really like. So I think I haven't played a lot of Company Heroes 2. But I think it shares quite a lot in common with that.

But it's in the 40k universe, which I really like. So it's essentially an RTS with node-based resources, which means it encourages repeated combat at these nodes all the time, and squad-based reinforcements with a shit ton of really exotic weaponry and three really fun races. Actually, go on.

You said three races. So is it like, what are the races? Is it like Terrans versus the Reptilians, or what's the standard? I mean, it's Warhammer 40k universe. So the three that they started with, I mean, there's a lot of races in this universe, but the three that are starting with are Eldar, Orc, and Space Marine. Space Marine are your kind of standard sci-fi troops, you know,

plasma rifles and this kind of shit. Orcs are kind of a race based a lot on dying. So, you know, how do you take a point? You throw a thousand fucking boys at it and like 9,999 of them die. But the end result is you've taken the point style thing. And the Eldar are kind of like space elves, really fast, really quick, really agile,

a lot of long range, high damage weaponry with low hit point style stuff. That sounds really cool. Yeah, we like Company of Heroes a lot. We played that for a couple months probably. I think we got fairly good at it. We would win all of our games pretty much. Yeah, I remember you guys

trying to talk me into that a little bit. I reached out to Chiz the other day and I actually floated it out to him if you guys wanted to play it. I've just started getting into it. I'm probably like 120 hours into it. We haven't played it in a while, but it got to a point where me, Chiz, and Kyle would jump into three-on-threes or me and Kyle would jump into two-on-twos. It was rare 120 hours we haven't played it in a while but it got to a point where like me chis and kyle would jump into three on threes or me and kyle would jump into two on twos and it was rare that we

would lose yeah like usually like we would roll over them like to the point of it being like oh no no don't destroy that guy's base yet we got a lot of tat didn't bring in my main tank yet yeah that problem we i i uh there's a a unit in there called the Land Mattress, which is just this big square box that you wheel out onto the field, and when it fires, it shoots this huge cone. It's like a multi-rocket battery. It goes, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, and it blankets this huge stripe of the map

with just terrible artillery fire that destroys every building. And so I had a commander that allowed for those, and I would have multiple land mattresses just bombarding the whole time, and Taylor would have nice tanks, and Chiz would have... This is similar to what we were talking about worms at first. No, Company of Heroes 2. Well, Dawn of War 3, but yeah. Yeah, all of them.

Right, the group. But yeah, so this is Relic again. So Relic did Company Heroes. Relic did Dawn of War 1. It's done a number of great games. And this is one of my favorite RTS styles where the vehicles feel like vehicles as opposed to infantry.

Where you fucking roll out a tank or you roll out a walker like one of these dreadnoughts or one of these enormous walkers and you feel like a fucking badass wheeling that thing around yeah and it's it's and this game uh also incorporated i love have you guys ever played warcraft 3 a million years ago no okay it's it basically brought heroes to the rts um type of game right so the rts genre of game and so donna war has that as well so you have three uh you you pre-select just like seven or eight heroes per faction you pre-select three of them every time you play a campaign and you summon these

based on elite points so they're like super fucking badass units that go into this on top of your normal stuff so this is a game about over over like ridiculously over the top explosions huge vehicles that are like ridiculous for infantry versus vehicles are just hilarious watching and then these hero units that are just wandering around the field just obliterating everything. I haven't enjoyed an RTS in years as much as I've enjoyed this.

I love RTS now that I know it's the same people who did Company of Heroes 2. Yeah, me too. We're going to get into it, I'm sure. One of the things I enjoy the most when I'm playing a video game, regardless of what kind it is, is I really like the first part of RTS where you're getting the machine that makes your war rolling very efficiently. I like min-maxing that machine, whatever it is and however it's comprised.

It varies from game to game. I like min-maxing that, perfecting that tirelesslylessly and endlessly we played a game called age of mythology and um it's got this opening build order where you have to harvest wood at a certain rate you have multiple units and you have they're harvesting multiple three different uh resources simultaneously and the ratio and when you take a guy off wood and put him on gold is perfect was perfectly timed in my head by the time we were done because any time that i would make the slightest flaw i'd be like oh game's a scrap new game and i did i would do that for five six hours at a time until now it's like oh when i start the game i have the it's perfect like that i'm gonna pick

this race they're gonna get they're going to get, they're going to hit this tier by this, like, two minutes in, we would talk to each other, you got it? Yep, got it. Good. We'd always hit it at, like, a minute 50, minute 54, something like that, and, like, now our war machine is plugged in and making troops, and they're still up there chopping wood, and I like RTS. I like that part building up and even in this battle royale game we're playing i heard a stream i was watching i watched jack frags quibble cop and a couple other guys make videos for this game to try to learn from it and i i was watching this guy and he was like ah this is the boring dumb part of the game where you just

find guns and i was like ah i fucking love the first 20 minutes where i'm just scavenging creeping through buildings like trying oh this shotgun's better yeah yeah i love that part i like getting tuned up for the battle as much as the battle itself yeah yeah you'll get there x 20 minutes i don't know what your sponsor done if they floated you a copy of the game or whatnot but i um i'm streaming it a lot right now because i'm actually kind of hooked on it and if uh you want to jump in and want some either just uh fun games or just some advice or whatever i i just it just stuck in my mind that you guys were big on company heroes 2 and this to me is this is the sequel i wanted in donald war 2 and didn't get but i actually now have in donald war 3 right this was

the glory days of donald war 1 combined with like the best parts of warcraft 3 into an rts that i actually fucking like for once which is really kind of rare so i'm sure we'll both definitely give it a go it looks like a lot of fun i'm selling glad the same people made it have you ever played i know because you're so good you're you're so into those rts style games did you ever play battle for middle earth 2 i'm actually not a huge RTS player. No, I didn't. I never played Battle for Middle-Earth 2. What was that like? Oh, never mind then.

It's an RTS kind of game that they made like 12 years ago that was so much better than everything at the time. It was like mind-blowingly good. And I can't find it on the internet now to buy, except if you buy it from someone on eBaybay with a physical copy like dude i shut it down entirely i would pay like 80 bucks for that game because i played it non-stop for so long and then like on the pc from i don't know 2004 2005 whatever about that game so much like maybe a year ago that i like scoured the internet and i came up with the same results that you just described like you can't find that game anywhere you can't play it if you want it.

But you watch the footage of the game of the actual battle and it's sick. It's so much better than when the cave troll hit someone. At the time, most of those games didn't have unique animations for deaths. It was just like, oh, when the Teutonic Knight swings

and the guy he's fighting drops everybody else. But with this, he'd like grab an orc and like rip its head off. Yeah, I'm a bit of a stickler for that too. Like, I mean, I have gotten into a little bit of trouble. Like there's some good games that have come out recently that are just, the graphics put me off. I look at it and I go, that looks like ass and I don't want to play that game. And it's not always that way, but it's like, I feel like there is, graphics should either, graphics are like a waiter at a restaurant, right?

They should either not detract or they should add to. They should never detract from the gaming experience. And it's like, and this is, I've been really pleased again with Dawn of War 3, it looks beautiful. Like, when I fucking call an orbital strike on something, it looks like an orbital strike. When my dreadbot

bites his fucking hand flamer off and toasts some orcs, it looks like he's burning orcs to death with his hand. When your computer is at the better end of the spectrum, in my experience anyway, graphics start to matter more. You want it to be there. You want to see your... Oh, absolutely.

Before the show, I was saying, I was on Reddit earlier on maybe the PC Master Race or somewhere, and this guy had his curved monitor. He was showing it off, and everybody was just loving it, and I loved it. I was like, like I was on Reddit earlier on maybe the PC Master Race or somewhere, and this guy had his curved monitor. He was showing it off, and everybody was just loving it, and I loved it. I was like, oh, that is cool,

and I'm reading through the comments trying to figure out what it is. It's the one I've got. It's the one I've got. Like, I love my gaming setup. It makes every game I play so fucking nice. I jump in Witcher 3, and I'm playing at 3440p, ultra-wide curved,

and I'm still hitting like 60, 70 frames per second, something like that. Yeah, over 70. Let me tell you something. Witcher had VR, doesn't it? Witcher has this feature where you can take a screen, a three-dimensional screenshot in the game, a 360 screenshot, and then go

and view that in VR. And that might sound lame until you do it and if you've been playing in that universe, it's incredibly lush. The foliage in the Battle Royale game I play, there's a lot of it, but god damn in Witcher, it's like a

deciduous fucking forest with trillions of leaves or something like that. The sunsets in Witcher are beautiful. I used to screenshot that shit all the time just to look at look at them so it's cool but it's not gameplay i just want to do something right like this is the opposite end of this this is a game that got amazing reviews it's supposed to be a phenomenal strategy game and i just i linked you a google image search for it wow i look at that and i can't make myself play it that That came out like... It looks like... Yeah, exactly, right?

It looks like it's 15 years old. It's an enormous fucking head fighting each other. Like... Mario 3, you say? That's Mario 3. That looks really shitty. If Mario was 8-bit, that can't be more than 16-bit. That looks terrible.

It just kills me. Choose the one in the top right. When they die, do they all make the same sound and then flicker away? Right? That's what I imagine, but I haven't been able to make myself buy or open the game because I look at that and it just puts me off from it.

I agree with you. I think those graphics detract from what could be good. Have you ever played the Total War games at all? Yeah. Have you ever played the Total War games at all? Yeah. Have you ever played Total War Warhammer? I opened it. I played about 10 or 15 minutes of it.

It looks really pretty, but I couldn't get into it. It took me a while to figure it out just because I never played a Total War game since Total War Rome. That came out in 2003 or 2004. Man, those games are sick. The graphics, because we were talking about graphics like the battles are so big that like if you go down to person level of like the fighting and you want to go across your entire battlefield like it'll take

a couple minutes and the whole way across it's not like a bunch of swordsmen going like ah ah ah like you'll see like different units like even like the spearmen and units will be like doing different dodges and stuff like there's 50 different fantasy units so like a unit of armored trolls will come in and just start clobbering them and like they have different fear responses to different things they'll be like oh freaking out it's like a giant spider like i value that i value that in the game i like it when the developers take that little bit of x i mean it's not always a little bit of extra effort to make it look like a fucking cool game

as well. And sometimes it ages poorly. Sometimes you get... But sometimes you get a stylized game. Again, I'm thinking Warcraft 3 where the artwork is not... Yeah, exactly. Something where the artwork is such that it does age, but it doesn't age as poorly as some games. Borderlands. Borderlands, yeah.

That's a good example of that. I love seeing the the individual stuff with that i like the fact that this is not only just a gaming experience of like me doing the best i can with this but if i scroll in this is like a visual experience i get to watch i get fucking like bombarded by artillery and it looks cool as shit and also wrecks my troop style stuff it's it's just add something to the game for me i could the game i picked to when I first started moving to PC gaming, I was like, Borderlands will be perfect because you can do WASD, but you're not letting teammates down. You're going against

AI, who are never nearly as tough as other people are. It's a nice introduction to learning with mouse and keyboard. I wish they'd make another Borderlands game. Those were so much fun. They did, like, two years ago. Well, Borderlands 2. And then they made, like, a Borderlands 2 1⁄2.

I think it was actually called Borderlands 2 1⁄2, the prequel. And it was, like, that was disappointing because it wasn't, like, a full game. It was one of those. And did PKA Plays? We hated it so much. We hated that game so much we stopped playing games. We never played games.

It was excruciating. I didn't enjoy any of it. And it felt like it was over so quickly. It felt like an eight hour... It felt like an eight hour gameplay. I really despised it. It didn't take hardly any time to eat. I know you love Borderlands.

There's so much to love about it like the the what's the guy's name who his like super ability in borderlands 2 is he goes like ah ha ha ha he flips everybody off and pulls his two guns out and then the gun zirker guy i don't know but that's the guy i played that was the like after i started playing with him like the first time through i played with the sniper character because I thought that would be fun. The second time through I picked up the gun-zerker guy and I'm like, oh, any other way to play this game is foolhardy. This is the only way you should be meant to play. And when he goes nuts, he recharges his own health.

I would just kill, kill, kill aggressively. But just as I'm about to die, I'd go gun-zerker. And now all of a sudden I've got, like, triple the firepower. I'm taking triple the damage, but my health is going back up. And it's like I just needed to Hulk out, and I try to time it. And your ammo regenerates too. And so sometimes, like, if you're in the middle of a quest and you're about to run in to, like, fight the big boss, before you trigger it, you can just wait out there for, like, five minutes

and, like, replenish all your ammo and just flip nobody off and then pull your guns out and not shoot. And then just let it regenerate all your ammo. That's clever. I don't think I ever did that, but that's a good idea. Yeah. I want to play that game again. I wish they'd make a real third one.

It's nice when a, when a game gets a valid, like a sequel that actually takes the spirit of that game and brings it into the modern age of whatever it is. Yeah. I swear, like I think the second one was better than the first but for some reason i enjoyed the first one more like it was really a letdown when you beat the game the first one like it spits loot out and it's not even particularly good loot and you're just like really it's over like now what do i do like that's how the second one felt it was like we we killed that gigantic boss that we had to run around in circles around.

It was downing me left and right. And then finally he was dead. And I was like, well, good. Now I don't have to do this anymore. I think we played the third one. We could play Mount Your Friends or something. Yeah, it was the prequel or the third one. Whatever we played, I didn't care for.

I played through it. We beat it. We wouldn't ever do that again. Yeah. Single players like that though there's some games like that single player is a little different but most of the time like for me i i mean i've gotten kind of sidetracked on my channel i've gone down the route with some single player games and i've enjoyed some of them but i've always been a multiplayer like player heart your viewers they like it which part the single player the multiplayer single like making a diversion from what you originally did like are there people who are just every no matter what

you do go back to civ yes oh absolutely there's still those people i get i could quite i mean i today streaming i'm streaming donna war you know i haven't streamed civ since november december and you know i'm still getting the question you know when is civ like i get that asked every day on channel and it is it is irritating to ask be asked that it's like sip was a great game sip 5 was in a phenomenal game i sunk a bazillion hours into that so six is seems like a fine game it's just not much of a multiplayer game right now perhaps it'll be better in the future but i mean i came from multiplayer environment like sure um there's a lot of reasons to it um Right now, the combat system is very limited.

The combat choices are very one-dimensional, and the interactions between offense and defense are really kind of sad right now. Horses wreck everything. So horses are extremely fast, extremely mobile. They have all the defensive bonuses that a unit has, even though it's a horse unit, which is a penalized horse unit.

It attacks cities just fine. It just becomes, you have one option, one tech path, one military option, and it's just, the game doesn't become good repetitively, multiplayer-wise, with that type of style. Because everybody's doing the same thing. Yeah, because you have no choice,

because you are forced into the same option. There isn't that, you know, the stuff that makes a game like Civilization V so interesting is it's always a balancing act between economy and military how greedy can you play with wonders and expanding and resources for the late game payoff in terms of science and technology versus how penalized will you be by doing that now you know like what is how like someone rushes artillery versus you and you're greeting like research labs are you screwed something that's that that is the entire it's the entire part of

the game it's balancing on nice edge between greeting technology versus being forced into military and civ 6 just doesn't have that right now i'm such a bad player but like if you don't let me sim city i feel like you're being impolite. And I had something else. Oh, oh, for as complicated a game as Civ is, and your expertise might make you disagree, I always thought it was pretty well balanced. So five or six? Five I was talking about.

Six I know nothing about. But it were even earlier. Like if you go Civ Rev, like I just always felt like, look, there's so many aspects to this game but there wasn't one dominant path to victory i thought but uh i guess it's all about the horses yeah vanilla was there was a little bit of of a dominant path it was it was much better by the time the third expansion rolled around or a brave new world than it was in, for example, Gods and Kings, or even before that. So they made it better. It got

better. And this is comparing, essentially, Civ VI released to Civ V modded and Civ V post-3 expansions. It's not really a fair comparison, but at the moment, Civ VI multiplayer is just really not very enjoyable for me. It's kind of sad. All the streamers who were streaming

Civ V, who then went to Civ 6 when it started when it was released have all gone back to Civ 5 that must be so frustrating like I know I haven't done it I refuse everyone wants to play remastered I'm probably out of date that's not true anymore but when it dropped it was all about essentially

COD 4 and not the new one yeah I think it still is. They wanted to do the race. Filthy might not know. When it drops, there would be a couple people who would play a character around the clock trying to get to 10th prestige,

which was the highest prestige. And it's like ranking up a character all the way. And they would do the race, and these different groups would get together, usually about four very good players who would just dominate 24 hours a day for three or four days and get the 10th prestige. And they all agreed

to do it on Remastered and then suddenly the company didn't sponsor it anymore. They didn't allow it. There is no race this year etc. Because they just only want the new one. They told them we want to do the race on Modern Warfare Remastered and they said there will be no race. Yeah.

And just to, like, I don't know how much COD knowledge you have, Filthy, like, 10th Prestige takes most of us, like, till the game releases late in the fall. It's usually the next year before you hit that. It's ranking your character all the way up, and then doing

it 10 more times. Each time along the way, resetting everything back to zero and earning everything all over again 10 times. And then as the CODs have come out, the 8, 9, 10, 11, COD 11, they add more of those prestiges occasionally. So sometimes it's 15 prestiges.

And then the levels required to do one prestige is higher than it used to be. They're exponential. So getting to 15th might be three times as hard as 10 yeah yeah it's it's fucking ridiculous yeah it was a shame that they did that i remember tucker was talking about that i just i just can't i can't i mean there's so many games being released and there are a you know it's not a high percentage of good ones but there's there's good ones out there's gems to be played it feels i i respect that my fellow civ 5 streamers they decided that you know hey civ 6 isn't as good

as civ 5 we're gonna go back to civ 5 but i just couldn't personally do it i don't want to go back that way like i i want to the whole point of doing this i mean why i'm doing this as a profession is i enjoy the gaming element and i want to be able to experience and play and play these different games and i'm i like to share that with it and that's what I'm making a living off it but I'm not just going to go back to Civ 5 for the rest of my life it's just not that's smart joy your gaming yes I want to enjoy my gaming what do you know you turn your your hobby into a job and you your hobby becomes a job did you get uh did you get the minecraft questions non-stop when you stopped um actually i feel like it was always cod you know like

oh cod okay as soon as i moved to minecraft they were wanting me to do cod again heck they leave you know woody are you gonna play the uh what's the new one the world war ii cod that's cod world war ii okay yeah so they're like woody you know would you fire it mail monday again and do cod world war two on my paramotor videos i get that and uh yeah well the thing is

i'm pretty sure they're looking at my old stuff through nostalgia glasses like it if i answered a question today about how to get out of the friend zone they'd be like no no i don't like it i don't want it i you know the friend zone is a problem i had when i was 12 now i'm 18 and you know i have whole new things i want to ask about and um yeah so i don't think if i brought back Mail Monday, I'd be as well...

I wouldn't do as well as I did in 2013 or something. It's a weird thing. It's a weird thing with the viewer base who supported you in one way having to deal with you changing. And some of them are very resistant. I try to deal with them changing. I try to do that well.

Look, when you were 12, I did 12-year-old stuff. Now you're 18, I try to do 18-year-old old stuff i talk about marriage and whatever and um you know finance or something but uh uh you know by and large i don't know i whatever i'm happy i'm fine uh but i don't i don't feel like i when i was killing it I felt like it's because I knew how to kill it. When I'm not killing it, it's like, well, I guess I don't know how to kill it. I guess either they changed or I changed or something,

but I don't think if I just did that again, I'd be killing it again. So it's tricky. So I noticed you guys teased me a little bit in the beginning of this with uh game of thrones talk yeah oh we should talk about that i'll link the article again so basically really the article doesn't say that much it just says that they're going to do up to four spinoffs of game of thrones and they haven't released anything about storylines they said that potentially martin so George R.R. Martin, would be directly involved with two of them.

Which, by the way, I think means he's never writing another book in his life about this fucking world. Of course. I think it's only two years longer, so... He's not going to finish the series. He's never been prolific with this particular work. He's a prolific writer.

He's written a lot, but he's not in a hurry about releasing shit for this world. and i think i think what if he's written like 20 drafts though this scratches it no way this scratches it he likes seeing the hbo he likes being a part of this stuff he's happy with his his creative idea being envisioned this way i think we never see another fucking book again yeah i would wager that that's it i would wager that martin wasn't getting very much pussy as an author but now as a show uh contributor i i bet he's getting some some pussy uh even with that scraggly brig and the beard and those overalls do you remember that children's book

where it was like the really tall skinny frog and then the short fat ugly frog and they like would ride a bike together or something like that children's book George R.R. Martin looks exactly like that short fat ugly guttural frog like he even those books

like I'm sure a lot of women are like whoa I love your characters love your characters george your characters you are repulsive if you were in your own world you would have been that guy beating tyrian with that leather stick you know saying no no no you know he's smacking him in the sky tower but i need to find that picture of the fucking frogs because it's sucking my head it's fucking hilarious. Yeah, I'm excited about four. So what are the four spinoffs that you would want?

Here's what I want. I want a prequel with the Prince of Dorne. I want the... That guy's fucking awesome. That guy gets a prequel, okay? Who's the Prince of Dorne? What's the background? The guy with the spear through the mountain crushed his head.

Are we spoiling? I guess we are spoiling because you just spoiled the fuck out of that. Yeah, The guy who fought, he's like, you know, you raped my wife and died or something. Your mother hurt you. Yeah. That guy. He was a badass. Yeah, super badass. He's all about like

loving, like fucking everything that moves and like simultaneously kicking ass all the way. We get a whole show about him. A little bit too cocky. A little bit too cocky, sure. A little bit too cocky about him. But it could be a whole show about him being really cocky and getting in trouble or something. Who the fuck cares, right? It's a decent season spinoff. Yep, yep.

I want another prequel called The Clegane Brothers. Yep. And it's just the two of them. And they always, they never get along. Every episode, they're waking up dirty by a campfire. And they have like a fucking fist fight. Maybe one of them gets half beat to death. And then they find someone else to focus their anger on for a while.

And that's every episode. And the mountain and the hound is going to deal with that. Is that what it is? The dragon. Targaryen. Yeah, thank you. The Targaryens. That's what I want to see.

I want to see that age. I want to see the uh i want to see that age i want to see fucking flying around a dragon they had the big dragon of their kingdoms when no you what you really want to see and i'm not trying to tell you what you want to see but what i would like to see as far as that goes when they first came in and took over the seven kingdoms with their dragons right like that what it did to like tactics, tactics or, like, you know, like, the fucking battlefield with a dragon on it compared to not a dragon on it? Yeah. And the end of that war, of course, you know, Dorne was the one who didn't give

up, right? Like, you know, them consolidating the Seven Kingdoms, you know, that would be cool with the dragon combat. I'd like to see the Night's Watch when they were, like, getting established, like, the Fist of the First Men and all that shit. Who were the first Night's Watch people?

Because apparently, as we're told, the first ones, obviously the wall wasn't built, and they had to actually fight those walkers or whatever the hell it was at the time. Maybe it wasn't the walkers. I don't recall at the moment, but that would be a neat one. See the whole history of the wall. I feel like the whole prequel thing,

it limits how good it can be you know i want to see what's next i fast forward 200 years until the you know the legend of john stark is a thing and the dragons and and like fire it up again a second time and take a different route with this thing hell maybe the white walkers win i don't know but if you just say like you know the it's an interesting take on that because i was thinking – because that to me feels like directly like the direct result of this series would be that series. But I was thinking spinoffs like developing stuff that already existed here. But I mean I guess – because that almost feels like – I know, but that almost feels like what you're wanting. I don't want new characters.

I don't want any repeat characters. Characters? I don't want any repeat characters. Every character that you guys discussed, I already know how they end. That's not going to work. I will go ahead and bet $1,000 that's not happening because there's

so much written down. I've got that Game of Thrones book here somewhere. We already know the ancestry going back fucking Jimmy going back 15 generations but there's so many great stories all the cool stuff that happened that we just get like a oh and then the first men came and they slaughtered the elf people it it took it took 40 years and the battle was fierce and then you make a show about that and i'm like oh i already know

how this one ends you know we know how this one's going to end. The good guys are going to win. An idea for Woody's brand new show. So pretty much most of the show happened in Westeros, as you see. And then some happened in Essos over there. But not even on this poster, there's something down here, Southros. That's an area that we haven't even discovered yet or even gone. Yes, it is. Yeah, Southros or something.

No, no, I didn't. It's an area that we haven't even discovered yet or even gone. Yes, it is. Yeah, South Throx or something. No, no, I didn't. I was hoping that I would turn around and it would be here, but it's just Westeros and Essos on this one. But that would be neat to see because the way it says it, and I read the Game of Thrones wiki thing a long time ago, like the passage on South Throx, and it's more like primal and vegetation and jungle and stuff like that, and there's not a ton of civilization there.

So that would be an enormous leap. But I mean, fucking throw Tyrion in there drinking too much and I'm fine with it. I would be happy if the whole thing took place 400 years later, every single character was dead and now... But it's the same universe.

I don't expect... But what is the same universe? What would connect it to Game of Thrones? Because it's the same universe I don't expect but what is the same universe like what would connect it to Game of Thrones it's the same land because what he's basically saying is what just happened becomes myth becomes legend and you have the descendants of the descendants of the

descendants who are now living in this world who have that kind of as a backdrop hypothetically the Starks win this thing and they become the leader well now we watch now we watch the downfall of them and someone else take over

maybe the White Walkers win the next evolution of what happens here you guys read Stephen Erickson at all? Malzahn Book of the Fallen? no that's what I want to see the next the next like hbo like takes on a book makes it into a fucking amazing show i want it to be that serious because

that series has that series like takes place over like a course of like 200 000 years or something ridiculous like jesus i want that scope in a in a show because it was so fucking cool i'm excited about dune because uh is going to be on HBO? I don't want to say it if it's not. We were talking about this the other day and I don't remember the particulars. It's being remade in show form though I thought. That'd be pretty cool. Dune was

an amazing series. Old, old series. I like the movie and I can appreciate it, what it's trying to do. The movie's is crap there's some shit in there but there's a few moments that i really like i love their their energy shields and the way their combat has evolved what a good rationale right like if you want a world where you like okay i i accept the premises of your world and therefore i accept what the repercussions of that are like

what a good one okay why have sword combat because nothing else fucking works because of this system that's a pretty cool fucking idea for like setting up like a sci-fi why there's sword fights in the future right like or why doesn't like like it's it's perfect because i have to suspend my disbelief constantly during walking dead because okay so they have these energy stops energy at a certain level of like momentum essentially velocity so it's like i remember I try to punch you, it won't fucking work because my hand's moving too fast. And there's this part where Paul is training at the beginning, and the guy who plays Picard. Is this the movie or the book? The movie.

The movie. I can't believe I'm spacing on this. He thinks he's playing. Hold on. Is this the fight you're talking about? Yeah, yeah. He tells him that the slow blade kills or something like that because you have to get them in a... To get through the shield, you have to slow your thrust.

You have to grapple. It involves grappling, and you have to slowly bring your knife through their shield and fucking cut their throat. There's no way to stab. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's pretty fucking cool. So that means that, like, you can't have some character just be like, boom, the main guy who all this is about

is now dead. Because you can't just assassinate the main guy, which is what someone should have done to Negan, like, 18 episodes ago, right? Like, we shoot that guy. We shoot that guy right away. We shoot that guy, and then we count the chips after. We shoot that guy, though.

And we become the Negan. And that guy though yeah right and we become the negan and i love the i mean i don't know this was this is the era this is the zeitgeist of the era right like it's the fucking conditioning and whatnot and it's when the when the stuff was written but i love all like the uh what are they that fucking i can't remember the names like the uh the order like the physician's order with their like strict like conditioning oaths and like the benedicte with their like all that shit is cool it's like it's just a great world to like suspend disbelief in you know like i think that would be a great series i really appreciate that frank herbert he's the writer right yeah yeah herbert took the time to to weave all that extra world and universe and mythos

that's there to flesh everything out it goes back to like like tolkien is the only guy who does that to that level i I feel like. Although, Lord of the Rings is... You gotta read Erickson. I'll link you to this shit later. Tolkien became almost like a fever dream of himself being, believing he was in that world.

Like, he spent so much time... Like, there's so many stories about him, like, sequestering himself off from his family, like, his family having to be JR, or whatever the fuck they called him. You gotta get out of this dwarf language and elvish linguistic shit, because you haven't

seen your children in weeks. And he's like, I need to finish my book. He's like, Lord of the Rings is out. You finished it. And The Hobbit. He's like, no, no, it wasn't enough. I'm writing The Silmarillion. They're like, reading little bits and pieces. Have you read that? I tried to read that yeah i've read it and myself in the head it it's on it's like reading a semi it's like reading a boring history book yeah yeah in a dictionary where it's like just definitions of things that he made up yeah where it's like

oh this is the type of are you a token fan yeah i really love really love Lord of the Rings. Oh, God. I can't. I just read so much better fiction. I appreciate the founding point, the starting point of so many great things with him. But his shit is just so... I found his stuff very juvenile compared to the rest of it. I mean, I read him young, too. The book's not well-written. It's the story and the world that he weaves that sucks me in.

Because, like, so many times reading Lord of the Rings, the actual book, like, you'll be building up to, like, a big fight in Moria or something. And then you get to it, and it's like you finish reading about the fight, and it's like, what? Three pages? Three pages you wrote on that? And we spent five minutes or ten pages up to that, you explaining the intricacies of the of the what the goblins had done to the the previous dwarven you know machines and rigging since like god dude like you have this awesome world in your head and you don't know which direction to go in yeah I read um I read The Hobbit and I read the three Lord of the Rings books and he just spends way

much time to way too much time in the details. The details are burial. He'll describe every surface they've ever walked on, every thread of clothing they've ever worn, how dark it is. Oh, my God. Heaven forbid it's dark because it takes, you know, there's metaphors and pages. The darkness is black as the night and twice as thick. But it goes on.

It's on and on. It's dark. Like cocoa poops. You can't see your hand in front of your face. You can't see your hand in front of your face you can't see your elbow in front of your face they're walking around they're stumbling they're holding their hands in front of themselves in case they bump into things yada yada page of it's dark out a page of it's dark out and like i'm like why does everyone else love this because for me it's a bit of a test of discipline yeah seriously that was how i felt reading the fucking series i'm

like i'm like you know and perhaps it was because you know this i didn't read it when it came out like this is i don't know the year is released i know exactly but it was so much ahead of everything else yeah the point the point being that stuff has evolved from them like writing has evolved like the worlds of like fantasy have evolved and a lot of them use that as a starting place and it's an incredible starting place but shit i don't like the source material anymore like i don't care about that world yeah you're right that's why it's remembered not because it's so well written but because it's a world that was created and thought of like no other fantasy world had been exactly so much depth like you always think that you would had plumbed the deepest depth of like all right but I'm sure that he didn't make up a language

for this fucking different subspecies of goblins that they didn't even encounter, you know, the night goblins or whatever. It's like, oh yeah, he did. Yeah, he took the time and was like, well, I gotta make a language for these folks. That's why I like to believe like, when it's little facts like that that make me want to like put this little

thing in the back of my head, like maybe, just maybe, Tolkien found a parallel universe and he went into it he went into it and and time was moving very slowly on on our side but he was in there for like 15 years and he lived with the elves and the fucking night goblins and and he knew or aragorn and that's why he's he had he made up six different languages for his books he was just descriptive youorn and that's why he's he had he made up six different languages for he was just descriptive you're saying yeah yeah yeah he was there this is that this is this is he documented all this shit he wrote it never went back it would have been like hey you want to come with your with gimli and legolas in the gang to the undying lands with a bunch of hot ass

elf bitches or do you want to go back to earth where you're gonna die skill set he's like a overweight writer who's like you know like he didn't you're going to die? He's like an overweight writer. He didn't do so well in that war. He's like, I gotta go home. I gotta get laid again. He was in World War I. He's a military guy. He brings a gun. He brings a gun into that world. Then he's got it made.

Dean Punk was born. I don't even think you get that far with a gun in the Lord of the Rings world. Not if one of the elves is around, right? They're fucking accurate with the art. If you don't have magic, you're screwed. You'd have to convince everyone that it was a magic tool

and not ever mention, like, I'm almost out. Like, you know what I'm saying? I've always thought that. Like, if you go back, you know, you've only got to use it once. You just got to make sure there's a lot of people around when you do and you let it build up for a while Like let the guy really run his mouth, you know Sharpening sword and swinging it and like going through kata and like really Powering up to take you on and then you pull that Indiana Jones move and maybe you say a little man

Do it right like you don't just pull it out nonchalantly and act like it's nothing you go powers of the universe empower me to destroy my foe and you do a little super scion motion like you're collecting your chi and then you just aim the gun at him and blow him away and everybody's like oh yeah there you go

they'd be blown away and then your disciples from then on will teach shitty magic for the rest of your rest of existence begin with this motion here I'll follow you to the end of the earth if you teach me how to do that ah no

I can't when he gets out the boom stick and he's like listen here you inbred knuckleheads or whatever this is my boom stick and he goes through the whole sales pitch from S-Mart. It's like it's a nickel finish in a walnut stock. It's like $1.99 on the sporting goods aisle.

Like getting it going. I fucking love that movie. It's shit, too. I mean, it's a pretty shit-tier movie. But it's deliberately supposed to be shit, which makes it slightly different. Which is a surprising distinction. There's a lot of total shit that is just shit and total shit that means to be shit, which makes it slightly different. I like campy. Which is a surprising distinction. There's a lot of total shit that is just shit and total shit that means to be shit, and that's slightly different, slightly better.

100%. I mean, that's a well-directed, well-acted movie, those Evil Dead movies. They're groundbreaking, way ahead of their time. Sam Raimi that made those, that's the guy. I like those movies. Army of the Dead is my favorite one, though, because he goes back in time, he's got the vehicle, and somehow he gets them to make him that prosthetic hand right away. Yeah, that's sick.

So do we know any... No one knows the spinoffs that are going to be announced? They just announced we're doing four spinoffs? What the fuck are you messaging? No details yet so far. They're not necessarily doing four spinoffs. They have four writers, and then after they write, they're going to decide what to do. That's funny, because the headline

for the link that you guys sent me on the video is, HBO is developing four different spinoffs for Game of Thrones. Doesn't it say maybe or something on it? Even developing could just mean, hey, we're bouncing around four different ideas for what we're going to do. We'll see.

I hope we get multiple series running parallel to one another and then maybe i i hope they run parallel to one another and occasionally they intersect and and so the characters from one come into another or maybe they're slightly shifted timelines and occasionally like you see in the background like holy fuck is that the hound in the background and he just walks through and that's it they've done a great job with that with the movies in uh the recent hero movies right like they're not a lot of the movies haven't been that great but just the inter the the backdrop of a larger universe that it projects is a really cool experience i agree 100 oh um what's the one with benedictland? Something called Benedict Cumberbitch.

My wife likes it. Cumberbatch? I don't even believe you guys. I think it's Cumberbatch. No, you were right the first time. I was not. You're a terrible person. That is Doctor Strange.

That is Doctor Strange. I watched Doctor Strange, and he was rehearsing time and stuff, and it wasn't until the very end, spoiler, that they say, you know, that's an Infinity Stone. And he like puts it back. And I'm like, ah, yeah. You know, Infinity Stone was like the core of Guardians of the Galaxy. I hadn't picked up on that. And I don't know.

There's littered throughout. Nice tie-in, right? Yeah. The tie-ins are great. What about the least, the spinoffs you want the least to happen. Who are the characters you want to just fucking go away and never see again? All of the Sand Snakes. Yes, agreed. 100%.

Well done. More Sand Bitches. I'm okay with Sand... Because most of them shouldn't fucking be there anyway. It feels like such a blatant play on sexuality. It's just like, these are attractive women. Pay attention to them. We've talked about this before, but No Matter How sexuality. It's just like, these are attractive women. Pay attention to them. Yeah.

We've talked about this before, but no matter how silly or ridiculous or over the top the universe is, whether we're talking about Star Wars or Star Trek, I think Star Trek is pretty plausible as far as fantasy universes go, but Star Wars or whatever it is that's out there, I can suspend my disbelief as long as the rules are consistent.

Internally consistent, right, exactly. And they have explanation. You've got to explain to me why you never just there i can suspend my disbelief as long as the rules are consistent internally consistent right exactly yes and they have explanation like you got to explain to me why you never just shoot the bad guy right like if there's constant magic system i'm 100 behind it if you make that internally consistent across episodes if you tell me why sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn't why the biggest fucking badasses in that universe aren't just like magic kill you fine i'll believe it if you make it internally consistent the minute you violate that it destroys the entire universe i i absolutely 100 yeah heroes had a problem with that you know here is the tv show yeah it definitely did and so one of the characters could um reverse time and he could teleport

right so that was their thing and like the asian guy i forget his name hero yeah it was hero and uh so that i guess i read something or saw an interview with the writers and they quickly realized that that could solve every problem that like no matter what happens someone dies someone you know loses someone wins a plot gets revealed hero could have hypothetically always just gone back to before that oh not only time traveling is teleportation right like even regular people can get near infinite infinite tries at stuff and so they had to start making all these rules they devoted like four episodes to him trying to bring a waitress back or something uh cherry might have been her name

and uh because they had to develop these rules to nerf his powers. Even worse, they had to continually fuck him over. Like, they had to be like, oh, Hero got hit in the head this week. His powers aren't working all of a sudden. Oh, Hero's too close to that big radio tower. It doesn't work there either.

Oh, we're in a nuclear power plant. Doesn't work here either. There's always a reason why it won't work or can't work. His powers are provided by Sprint. Yeah know yeah no fucking t-mobile at best he's got he's got boost mobile comfort he's always got like a bloody nose or something and there's always another reason why his power didn't didn't work this time yeah the big downside if you give someone godlike powers the thing is he always solves every problem unless you seriously do something like that and it's just stupid it's it's bad character how little talk did they have in their like meeting for making characters with like all right idea uh well we could have them

go back in time is and teleport we have superman as a fucking character right like that is the laziest goddamn fucking superhero ever i just wrote a little credit because yeah because it's so old you know and and even better back when it was written he couldn't do all this shit over time since like the 30s or whatever they've been tacking shit on i haven't heard that that's interesting i didn't know that go back all right so think about what they used to say in the tv show he can leap tall buildings in a single bound. Where does it say anything about flying? Is that actually a true thing, Kyle? Yeah, yeah. He used to jump everywhere

he went. He would reach large distances and head on over there. Now he's like, away! And he just defies gravity. And then all of a sudden he's got x-ray vision. Oh, now it's laser vision too. Oh, it's cold breath that freezes whole lakes. And he can lift, you know, and they figure out how much he can lift, right?

Like, oh, it's eight stars worth of mass that he can bench press or whatever it is. God. And oh, he's got regenerative properties. And then, of course, if you shoot him with that green rock, though, he dies. The problem with all these things is the minute you give someone powers like that, it just becomes the Hulk fighting the Hulk, right? It's just stupid. It's just pointless. It's just gratuitous explosions and shit blowing up and nothing ever gets accomplished.

That's why Marvel is so much better because they don't – and DC goes off with all kinds of different storylines too that maybe aren't canon or don't last forever in phases and stuff. But with Marvel, they've had the Hulk fight Wolverine. Who wins that? They figured it out out they wrote it down right like they have all those crazy things where like yeah wolverine's died the hulk's died everybody's died they just come back to life you know you it's uh i i love that stuff but superman is a super lazy character to be written although if you look at the bigger superman universe and include all of the newer stuff than the 70s 80s 90s he gets better bad guys to deal with right like brainiac and uh you have to you have to have something because like his fucking powers are ridiculous yeah it's like what other heroes

can be on that same level like the idea of a batman versus superman movie which we've seen was a fucking retarded idea i like because like the power disparity is just like all right yeah here's a guy who's invincible here's a human being who puts on armor it's just not comparable it's so in the um so they they they explained it better in the in the cartoon and and in the the comics it it was set during uh ronald reagan's presidency and reagan had superman like as fucking i don't know his right yeah yeah he's and there's like this conflict on an island with russia so superman's like and it goes hot right like russians and americans are about to face off and superman's like no fucking way and he's like flying in, like lasering the caps off of tanks, picking tanks up and hitting other tanks, like completely ends the war.

And so that's his kind of thing. He's more like Superman slash Captain America. He's definitely got loyalties to the president. And the president's like, these other superheroes are bullshit. Like you got all these guys, these vigilantes is what they call them, running around enforcing the law however they want, sometimes at the penalty of death. They're killing other people. Shut it down, Superman.

So he has Superman shut down every other superhero in existence because he can because he's Superman. Yeah, because he's ridiculous. And there's one – it's the guy with the archer. There's two different archers, Marvel and DC. I can't remember. It's, by the way, such a shitty power. I shoot arrows. He's the guy with the ring. But there's this guy – the Archer. There's two different Archers, Marvel and DC. I can't remember. Which, by the way, is such a shitty power. I shoot arrows.

He's the guy with the ring. Green Arrow, that's his name. Maybe that's what you said. Superman, in this comic and cartoon, cuts the fucking Green Arrow's arm off. That's how he shuts him down. He's like, you refuse? Your arm is gone. He cuts his arm off, and now he can't shoot the bow.

The way they make Batman vs. Superman work in the writing is Superman's got a buddy. He goes to the Green Arrow and he's like, bet you missed that arm. How'd you like a one-armed bow? And they double-team Superman and during the fight the Green Arrow shoots an arrow at Superman and Superman of course goes and catches it. He's like ha ha! And the head of the arrow explodes with kryptonite gas. It's great! All that shit should have been in the movie. Yeah. It should have been something that was different, because the movie was terrible. And the premise is slightly terrible. There were parts of the movie that were really cool.

I liked Ben Affleck's version of Batman. I did! Really? I did too. I don't It's better than Nolan's. All I can hear whenever I see Affleck these days, all I can hear is the fucking duck saying Affleck. It's all I can ever fucking see when I see Ben Affleck these days. From now on, because that's what he is. It should have been just his standalone movie

and leave Henry Cavill or whoever the fuck plays Superman out of it. I'd have preferred get Ben Affleck's Batman movie on the ground, and that's where DC's fucking up. Marvel's like, yeah. Good luck following the last round of Batman. The last round of Batman was actually really good.

Marvel gives every character a trilogy, right? Thor gets a trilogy. Captain America gets a trilogy. Doctor Strange is going to get a trilogy. Everybody gets one. They establish this big mythos, build this huge interwoven universe. I want to see, what are our generation? What are our era superheroes? Because I look at these.

These are ideals that are encapsulated 20, 40, 60 years ago, right? These are fucking heroes of a time that isn't our time. Where the fuck are our heroes? I want to see our. Nazis. You're telling me that's not modern day? The Nazis? Nazis are 40s.

That's what Captain America came from. White and black, so cut and dry, white and black, fucking bad guys versus good guys. There's someone listening who knows the answer to this. Who's like, oh, you would love Diodrama or whatever. I don't know i mean yeah maybe i'd love to see that comment pm it to me

on reddit i would love to hear it guys they're writing new marvel stuff um but i don't think there are new heroes the old ones are bigger but i'm not worried about this like i worry about this in terms of like i'm thinking like even today with the advertisers you're doing the music right like the music that like the to the advertisement that that Woody was really enjoying with the fucking bird, that's old music. This is like – there's almost like a golden era of like superheroes that we see like portrayed over and over again in the movies. We're seeing like a golden age of music to some degree. I want to see – what is the modern day stuff? They were saying that a thousand years about heracles and achilles

and uh and all those guys but we're still telling those stories still making movies about them yeah that's true but uh what is what is our uh what are i mean our generation i say that i mean there's different age groups here but what is our generation being part of your generation for a little bit there you're pretty close woody you Woody. You pull age when it's advantageous. I wanted you to have the penalty of that, too. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know that there are modern-day superheroes. I think that we...

I don't know. I'm not a comic book guy. I've never been a comic book guy. The comic books I read, I read fucking Neil Gaiman's The Endless, or I can't remember what it's called. Sandman. You know what I'm reading? I'm reading Walking Dead, the comic book I read. I read fucking Neil Gaiman's The Endless. I can't remember what it's called. Sandman. You know what I'm reading? I'm reading Walking Dead, the comic book. Good. I am

caught up. I'm probably three weeks behind. That may... I may be four to five. So the last thing I remember was we're dealing with the Whisperers. Oh, these are huge spoilers. I can't go into this without spoiling the show for people who haven't seen it, aren't going to read the comics, or at least potentially.

I was about to say, oh, yeah, and then this main character got his head cut off and stuck on a spike. Ah, I know. Yeah, so I'm ahead of that. That happened a while back, I think. Did we just say cover your ears so we can make a point? No, no, no. I'm ahead of that. That happened a while back, I think. Did we just say cover your ears so we can make a point? No, no, no. I'm not going to spoil it. I'm ahead of heads being put on pikes.

I'm ahead of that boy going ham with a shovel. I don't know exactly where I am, but I'm into the comics too. I find them fascinating. How do they flow well? For some reason, I thought I into the comics, too. I find them fascinating. And I like to watch... For some reason, I thought I never would like a comic. I thought it was too stupid and that it just wasn't a good medium for storytelling. And then I got into The Walking Dead, and I'm like, oh, well, I wonder if I've missed a lot of interesting content.

I'm exactly with you on that, Woody. The same thing when I read the Neil Gaiman Sandman comics. Like, I had always felt, you know, I read a lot of, I had always felt like I read a lot of fiction. I read a lot of great fucking fantasy books and sci-fi and this type of shit. And I felt like comics were kind of like a lower form of artwork. And then I read this and I was just blown away by it.

I was just like, this is so fucking good. This is such a cool medium. It's a totally different medium than a book. But it was still really, really good. On Reddit, sometimes they'll take snippets of like, I think, I can't even remember. It's not a good story. But like Thor was against someone. I think he was saying like no more or something like that.

And they quoted it. So then someone showed an image of like two or three pages of a comic. And it was so powerful. And it was like, oh, my God. Like to see Thor fight the comic version of him like fight it was even cooler than the movie version i thought yes of course it is because your brain fills in all of the special effects and they can write and draw whatever they want it can be outright you can they can describe the level of power or how it felt or how it sounded and that won't translate on screen but if they

tell you that it shattered an eardrum 100 miles away when he hit the guy in the head with his hammer, you're like, God, okay. I've heard that. I've heard arguments that go both ways on that. There's no way that printed can compare with the fully drawn out version of the movie because the movie has so much to show you. But what I like about comics is oftentimes the pause is on the best moment. You know, like a hammer on a guy's face when the face deforms as it has its impact. On a movie, that is a split second.

In a comic, that's what we're reading about. You know, that's the image. Yeah, it takes that pinpoint moment, drags it way out, and it's described over a period of time, and your brain keeps developing the picture that you're seeing, and's it's like your brain is auto painting and filling in this world like it's it's nice this is at least my brain this is my brain with women right like in the distance all women are beautiful like that's just how my brain goes it just fills it in it's just like oh it's a female form it might not even be a female form i see a female form the female

form is beautiful brain Brain fills it in. I feel like the exact same way with this. It's like when you have that creative power left to you, your brain does what, you know, does that style of thing. That's what you want. Rep! Sure, that works.

That was the way it went. Congratulations. Where can everyone go to look at your things? Over on Twitch, I suppose. I just actually set up a Patreon account. If you want to check out my stuff, check out my YouTube, check out my Twitch. If you want to support me, please hit me up on Patreon. I produce gaming content, and I've been doing it for a while, and I really enjoy teaching as I play.

So if you like that style of stuff, check me out. Thanks for having me on PKA Guy. Filthy's excellent at that, by the way, the teaching. If you're going to learn a game, Filthy's a good guy to learn it from. I learned Civilization V from it, and I crushed most of the people I ever played. You learned all of War 3 from him. I hope so.

Again, it's been a while since I've been on, but I've had a really good time, and I appreciate you guys repeatedly inviting me. Thanks for coming on. Cheers, guys.