Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #337

Episode Date: June 8, 2017

This week on PKA, Richard Ryan is back everyone! The guys talking about having fun with money, like gambling & cryptocurrencies, why alarge % of Japanese Millenials are virgins, some crazy cop shooting showdown and Talyor regales us with a few tales from the bible. On an all new, low fat, discounted episode of Painkiller Already!

And we're live, PKA episode 337 with our guest Richard Ryan. Kyle? Yeah, three sponsors tonight, Dollar Shave Club, Squarespace, and a brand new contender, HelloFresh. So, links down in the description if you want to check them out now, but yeah, let's get to it. Nice. Hey, does anyone want to kick off with fitness talk? I went to the subreddit, I even replied to two people. I'm a bad, I don't know, I'm'm a weak man that's what it is but I know that Richard Ryan did the fitness thing like a year ago and reshaped himself so I thought maybe he'd be able to participate and let's I would love to and you know it's funny you guys have such an engaged audience I would

love to hear like other people's feedback on it too because i know it's constantly like an evolving thing yeah um what do you what are you looking to do so we all have different goals uh but i just the subreddit right now looks like our fitness everyone is showing like before and after pictures and these got some of them have before pictures that look a little like my target yeah yeah there are at least two on there because i went there today just to check up see what was going on and it did look like fitness because it was all like look at my post look at my post and which is good you know not ripping on it but there were at least two there that were so impressive it like aggravated me where it was like oh god damn it like this like i was picturing i was like this guy had like a pre-picture of where i'm picturing myself in like eight months and then

he's like and yet four weeks later he's like flexing guy had, like, a pre-picture of where I'm picturing myself in, like, eight months. And then he's, like, and yet four weeks later, he's, like, flexing. He's got, like, those shoulder striations where it looks like a tiger attacked him. You know? Like, it's really intense. Like, oh, man. Good for you, guy. You know? It's motivating.

You know? Angry. I've been playing a lot of that game with fans. And, like, several of them are, like, I lost 35, 45, 55 pounds. Stuff like that. And the guy who lost 55, he 55 he's like i'm still a fat fuck though i got about 30 i got about 35 more to go but but you got and they all they all think us and that's uh i don't know what to take from that you know it's just kind of a topic on the show but i think that we you know we talk about it every week guy who lost a lot of weight and you're still a fat fuck. I feel you, bro. I hear where you're coming from. So here I'll catch up. So last week I had lost two pounds, which brought me down

to a total of nine. And I almost wanted to lie because I've been losing a pound a week and I thought maybe I just got it early. But no, yet again, two more pounds. I am down 11 pounds toward my 30 pound goal. I am closing in on my halfway point. I've been eating good. I haven't had a cheat meal. I'm taking it Saturday night, I think. And I haven't missed a single kettlebell exercise workout. And even on days, like I talked about this in the PK and a little bit,

but on Monday, my wife wanted to buy, like, furniture. So we went to this place that sold antiques and suddenly she sees three of them i spent from 9 a.m to 3 p.m doing like furniture buying activities like hooking up a trailer carrying furniture from a storage unit into the trailer and into the house and up the stairs and all this shit and then when that was done kettlebell time my wife's like you're still doing it and I'm like yes because there are hundreds of thousands of people who will give me shit and it's a powerful motivator I did it today what time of day was that I did the kettlebell is it like 4 30 p.m. or something like that because I we were doing furniture

till 3 30 minutes I had yeah yeah but like what he said we've all got different goals here I think what he was at like 220, I think, right? And he's trying to cut down to like some kind of 195 and strong kind of thing. And Taylor has been definitely like, he cut his calories way down, but he added a lot of physical activity, like three, four days a week he's working out hard. And he's put on a couple pounds of muscle, it seems like. And I have been eating so many goddamn calories that I had to buy a new toilet. I've gained about five pounds of fat so far, and now I've started the process of cutting that off.

I'm eating 1,700 calories a day and working out every day. You were heavy in liquid calories, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, lots of shakes. Richard, what did you do? How heavy were you at your max? How did you get down? What did you do? I would say 235 was probably my max.

That was my fattest. Yours was probably better. Keep in mind, Richard's pretty tall, though. He's taller than I am. Yeah, I'm 6'3". I think we had that height conversation before. He's like, you're not 6'3". I'm 6'3".

I'm not 6'4". I think when you're kind of heavier than you should be, how tall are you? about 6 flat I was looking at the BMI of what I should be they were like 175 180 or something like that

bullshit no way am I supposed to be that I think that 195 mark is probably pretty good but honestly for me it's like a help thing kind of like I go back to it and I beat that dead horse all the time That 195 mark is probably pretty good. But honestly, like for me, it's like a health thing. Kind of like I go back to it and I beat that dead horse all the time. But it's like, you know, I don't want to be 70 years old if I make it that far and carrying a lot of excess baggage around. I want to be that lean kind of mountain man, that dude who's just like super lean, got cardio for days and stuff like that. Curiously active.

Yeah, you want to be the guy that they look at and they go, can you believe he's 70? Not the guy that goes like, can you believe he made it to 70? That's genetics on his back right there. If you get really big and bulky as far as muscles go, they always tend to sag as you get older. You've got to really maintain that stuff. And then there's always like the hormones and stuff. And you know what's funny is like I feel like the things that people say all the time is like, oh, diet.

Diet's huge. It's really huge. Well, yeah, it is. And most people, that's like one of the more things that go neglected than anything where people are like, oh, you know, I'll just slide this in here or do this. And it adds up really, really quick. But for me, the thing, I think intermittent fasting has probably been the thing. And, you know, as far as the science and everything behind it, I don't know. I just, I just. Do you explain what that is,

intermittent fasting? Like how long are you going without eating? What's the cycle? I don't know if I should do this. So like this is a big disclaimer before it, I don't know if I should do this, so this is a big disclaimer before it, but I fast from 8 p.m. to noon. And so I'm constantly experimenting with what different things affect my energy levels throughout the day. And refined sugar is easily my biggest weakness. I love chocolate, like milk chocolate, not that dark chocolate crap. Not the good stuff. Yeah, I will binge on some chocolate. But I found that because I get up early in the mornings, if I go to bed at like 10 o'clock,

I'm already full from the day's worth of food and everything. Getting up early in the morning, no coffee, only water. It forces me to hydrate, which I'm really, really bad about. So I'm constantly drinking water. Um, and then, you know, I'm at, I'm at work from about six to, uh, around 10 o'clock and then I'll walk down to the gym and I'll work out. I'll do like 30 to 40 minutes of cardio. Um, and then I'll lift for 30 to 45 minutes. And then I'll go back around noon, and then I'll make, because of Dr. Rhonda Patrick, I do the broccoli sprout shake, and it's four ounces of broccoli sprouts. So you've got that to look forward to from 8 p.m. on.

Who needs that shamrock shake when you've got broccoli? It's not that bad. Broccoli stalks. My little pro tip for that, if there is one for it, it's super pungent, right? So I take ginger and I slice it up like fresh ginger. Ginger, notoriously not pungent. Yeah. The sharpness of ginger kind of conceals the broccoli, right? And I'll put blueberries in there and a quarter of an apple. And it seems to work pretty well for me. I'll chug that thing. And then about 30 minutes later, I'll have coffee. It seems like trying to fart to cover up someone else's fart.

Yeah, I know. If you just give me gas or anything like that, I'll take your probiotics. I have a lot in common with what Richard's going on here. Like the intermittent fasting thing, that's the thing I do too. So I used to have – like I used to snack at night. That was how I got fat. Now I eat dinner, and when I wake up, I don't necessarily want to eat. So it's not every day, but a lot

of times it's like, you know, you don't need breakfast. You can go to lunch. You know, you've already made it to like 1030 an hour, hour and a half, and you can have your lunch. And it's just a whole meal. I get to skip. It's fewer calories. Yeah. And I eat so few breakfasts that when I do eat a breakfast, it's memorable. It's like, oh yeah, because we were on that trip and we had to eat early because we weren't going to be able to stop that day. Like, I just don't eat breakfast. Like, I may have eaten 50 breakfasts in my life. Is it that you don't eat breakfast or you just you shift meals to where you have lunch, dinner, and then supper?

You know, like two at a time. There may be a little of that throughout my whole lifetime of just got shifted. But the main thing is even if I'm getting up early and it is breakfast appropriate time, the idea of having a breakfast burrito with my coffee or a biscuit or something, it makes me nauseous. I'd much rather just keep nothing in my stomach or maybe coffee until one or two or three in the afternoon when I'm really hungry. And then I'll eat. I like to listen to my stomach as much as I can and it'll be like, yeah, yeah, why don't you eat? And I'll be like, nah, I don't want to. And he'll be like, okay. And it'll just stop being hungry. It'll just stop being hungry. If you ever disagree with your stomach, you'd be surprised. You could negotiate with it a little bit. You'd be like, nah, not today.

And he'll be like, okay, well, you know, I you up tomorrow we'll see we'll see if we can that's like that's where your other brain is you know you got your head brain then you got your like gastro brain or whatever it's called in the stomach or somewhere in the mix you know my dick are always gonna be a dick brain yeah yeah yeah my dick brain and my stomach brain are always conspiring against this guy between the years and together they can take you you know they can rich sleep schedule i'm like an ex-smoker with the sleep schedule thing trying to get everyone else to have good sleep and reasonable sleep so i had terrible sleep awful the worst of the people you know i had this like sleep apnea thing but way worse than most people with sleep apnea i was waking up 67 times an hour and uh one, I have this BPAP machine.

It's like a fancy CPAP. And it helps me sleep all night. I don't wake up till the next day. It's amazing to me. Beyond that, just the fact that I go to that machine to sleep. Now, I never just sleep on the couch. I used to have to nap. I don't need that anymore.

I might be in the guest room watching TV or something and just crash in the guest room that night. I was sleeping all over the house. Someone was listening to you talking about your BPAP, and they asked me in real life, what's a BPAP? I was like, well, you ever see those old iron lungs back in the day, those big chambers they would put people in? It's just like that. He has one of those. It's like eight feet long. It's $15,000. His wife locks him in it every night.

It's hermetically sealed. Yeah, I have insurance, so it wasn't expensive for me. But it's like a $7,000 machine or something. It's crazy. But yeah, anyway, now I have to go to the bed to sleep. I sleep all night long. I wake up at like 7 a.m. every day, like between 6.50 and 7, and it's like clockwork. And I'm a whole new me.

That's great. And the energy throughout the day is like super important for me too. And I feel like the meals and the fasting part isn't as – I don't know what it's doing to me metabolically or whatever that that's going on in the background, but mentally not eating and then, uh, going to the gym after I do that, like 30 minutes of cardio, cause I'm just trying to keep my cardio up. I'm not really trying to do cardio to lean out or to whatever, you know, I'm just trying to keep my, my cardio up because my heart rate, uh, between wingsuiting and everything else, like I just try to maintain that. So, um, but it's, it's weird. The mental, I guess, mental cookies I get, um, because at noon after I have my shake, um, it's like, well,

I look back and I'm like, well, do I really want this cookie or this, uh, sweet thing or whatever? Not really. Cause I look at it, it's like, oh, 400 calories. Oh, geez, that took me 30 minutes to burn. And I'm constantly reminded that, okay, this is what I had to do to get to here. And then I'm like, well, no, I don't want that. And then that reinforces it throughout the day for me. And I found that my energy levels just constantly achieving things makes me feel good. And, and so by structuring my meals and stuff, I actually have two breakfasts, um, uh, one at two and like one at four. And then I have one meal meal, I guess you could say, cause I like, I like breakfast is my favorite meal,

right? So I'll have egg, egg whites and, um, egg whites and bacon and spinach. And then I'll have another type of breakfast, be it blueberries and morning oats. And then I'll move on to... Do you have trouble with the egg whites ever? Because those are just a real difficult thing to muscle down. Not really because... Really? The yellow part's the best part.

I would rather drink them raw than cook them and eat them. Hot sauce, dog. 100% rather eat them raw. You just douse them in enough sodium and spicy cayenne pepper sauce that you can slurp it down. Yeah, I love it. I love it. It's so good. I don't know.

Something about breakfast. It just makes me. Kyle's point about breakfast, like you were saying how you just skip it like I've always felt like that I watched I think part of one YouTube video like a week or two ago That was like do you know that like the whole start your meal off right with breakfast is like not even true And it was breakfast most important meal today goats and big Quakers and all those you know obvious Reliance oh and all those, you know, lobbyists making it so that people were like, oh, it was those yelp buckle hat cunts.

And they'd be like, oh, it's part of a balanced breakfast, you know. That's what it is. Obviously, if this is part of a balanced breakfast, everybody needs a balanced breakfast, so that's already an accepted thing. Have your fucking orange and your yogurt. No, that's not true. And I immediately accepted

it without question. Like, yes, breakfast is bullshit. Two meals a day is plenty. I'm sure YouTube vetted it before they allowed it to be published. They wouldn't allow it to stay there if it was fallacious. Well, juices are definitely a big misconception for a lot of people because they're like, yeah, I'll take that tall glass of orange juice or whatever it is. Oh, it's healthy.

I'll get that vitamin C. It's like, well, I don't know. You might not want the... Milk is the same way. Those milk campaigns. Michael Jordan was pimping that shit. I was like, damn, if Michael Jordan shit. I mean, he's got a mustache while he dunks the ball.

It's got to be better than Gatorade, right? Mike's got ups. And it turns out, no, that's not that good for you. And there's not even that much calcium in it. You don't need a glass of milk every day. It's not a health food. Taylor, how much have you lost? Do you know your numbers?

I haven't weighed in a while. I need to weigh on Sunday. I weigh every day. I always know my numbers. Oh, no. I do it every Sunday. And this past Sunday was Middle Memorial Day weekend. And I was like, well, I know that it's not going to be good

because I spent all day drinking and eating like an asshole and then I'm like, oh, I'll just pick it up next Sunday. So I expect to be right at around like 2.07 on this upcoming Sunday. And I'm setting that a little high. Hopefully I'll be a little lower. So we'll see. So how does it

affect you mentally, Woody? Because like if you're checking every day, I mean you can balloon just based off of water. I mean like I could drop – like when I was at 220, like well I was 230 and I dropped 30 pounds in 27 days. Pretty easy. And that was pretty much water. 27 days, pretty easy. And that was pretty much, pretty much water. Well, like I was, my hormones and stuff were all out of whack whenever I was taking Propecia and everything else. And I held a lot of water weight. So whenever I cut refined sugars out,

stopped drinking and everything, I could cut water weight really, really well. Um, but it's not, it's not fat. It's not muscle that I'm not losing that dense weight, I guess you could say. It's just the water stuff. I'm sure it'd be just like cutting weight for a fight. I know a lot of guys can cut several pounds in a day. How does it affect me mentally if I don't go straight down, you're saying?

It feels like a stock market, right? Yeah, because that one pound a day is like, that's brutal, man. No, I'm not getting a pound a day. I'm getting a pound a week. Oh, a week. A week. Oh, I got you.

I got you. But last two weeks, it's been two pounds a week. It's better, I guess. But yeah, there was one day where I was like a pound and a half over the previous. And it's like, yeah, well, you had a lot of salt yesterday. You're just holding it and like, yeah, well, you had a lot of salt, but you know, yesterday you just holding it and relax, Woody. And if it doesn't go straight down, I'm usually like, all right, well, were you good? You know, like you might be heavier than yesterday, but I know you ate right. I know

you didn't skip your workout. The fat can't win if you keep up your good behavior. And that's, that's how I write. That's what I do. Do you set any physical milestones? That's the things that I'm kind of leaning towards now that I've found a lot of positive reinforcement and keeping me in a rhythm of doing things. I mean, outside of wingsuiting, working out, and stuff along those lines, I don't do anything like the ninja gyms or free running or yoga or any of that CrossFit and, and not having those physical milestones for the positive reinforcement is something I kind of struggle with. So I don't know what, are you working towards anything with the fitness side or? I've had a couple of things that I got that got me excited. One. So when I, at my heaviest, when I sat in the car, the lap belt, I would have fat go over the lap belt. I had a belly that went over the lap belt.

And I was in the car recently, and it was just like, this is undeniably better. Because I kind of deny myself any actual improvement. But 11 pounds is a ton. Driving is a super unflattering pose. Yes. And if you're honest with yourself, if you hold it 10 and 2, and you look down, you look at your gut. It never looks the way that you imagine it. And then you look over, and you're like with yourself, if you hold it 10 and 2 and you look down, you look at your gut. Like, it never looks the way that you imagine it. And then you look over and you're like, oh, oh, no.

Oh, how many passengers have I driven around? Oh, look at this fat idiot driving me around. You know, at least I won't get hurt in an accident. I mowed the yard yesterday. And picture me just covered with grass clippings. The mowers kind of sucks that way. Yeah. I am. So I did one of these deals to get it off.

My chest and belly were just a lot less fat. And I looked down and my chest. All sweaty with his grass clippings all over. That's a big win. Chest further than the belly. Yeah. That was big for me. And I have a couple.

Like, I'd get dressed in the morning. A large for me. Some larges fit and some larges largest don't that's where i am and the largest that don't fit much more flattering than they were i wouldn't say i'm there but uh markedly better so see like the thing i think with richard's question is that you've already arrived at the summit of that first campsite, that first peak of fitness, and then you can see up to the next thing of, now I need more specific goals. Now I need, I've already achieved all this shit. Meanwhile, me and Woody and Kyle are wallowing in the fire down here, and our only barometer of success is

to look at ourselves naked in the mirror and go, that that's marginally better that is better well come on i mean here's the thing there you can like i like setting physical physical milestones and not necessarily cosmetic uh because cosmetic is one like i'm not a snowflake uh but you know we consume a lot of social media and your perception of things are skewed a lot as to what normal may look like because people are being very selective about the stuff they're putting out there and everything. So when you're constantly exposed to that, it's kind of hard for that neutral to be like you to be acceptable or you accepting of you being that neutral, right? So hold on. I don't think accepting me is what i'm targeting i should not accept current me current me still too bad right you know i get that i get that i totally get that but when you say you're like sitting down and you notice like your stomach

like creeping over the seat belt they're a lot like some of the most fit people I've ever seen, that still creases when you sit down. I mean, you can't get caught. Yeah, but those guys can rock five miles. Or butter bean. They set physical goals, so you at least have tan. My abs, they're just rolling over the belt. Can you believe it?

Watch this, I'm over the belt. Can you believe it? Watch this. I'm wearing the belt. I don't know. That's the kind of things that I'll do. I'll look at my miles or I'll look at something and be like, oh, okay. How did this affect me when I did this or when I did that? I geek out on a lot of that stuff as far as supplements over the years. Whenever I was younger, I'd take creatine and all these BCAAs and stuff along those lines. And now it's just I look more for the performance side of things. So it's like, okay, I knocked, I knocked minutes off of my mile after running for,

you know, just a, uh, uh, a couple of weeks, uh, last year, whenever, and I never really ran before. And it's funny, I stopped running the last kind of six months because, uh, I ran into some injuries on my, my ankles. And so I started doing more elliptical stuff. Um, I get ragged on whenever I'm at the gym on the elliptical for 30 minutes. Who are you in the soccer moms? No impact. Just throw on Ellen and run away the day. And so this weekend, I went to one of my buddy's weddings in Santa Barbara. And I was like, I can't get out of the rhythm of doing things. I don't have to work out every day, but I just want to do something active. So I'm not just, just like just wasting away, I guess. And so I was like, all right, I'm going to,

we're right on the beach. So I'm going to do morning runs because I'm still on Eastern time and everybody's on Pacific and it's like five o'clock in the morning. So I'm going to do a beach run for, you know, 30 minutes to an hour hour and the next day i felt like somebody had hit me with a truck i mean i was like every little muscles in my body like like my legs had sandals it's hard beach runs are no joke and i i've only gone on one beach run ever and it was with a friend of mine on a vacation and he was in much better shape but it was just like he's like hey i'm going on a beach run you want to go and i was like yeah you just run around like see there are any girls about see what's going on like just in my head i'm like i'm gonna be wearing swim trunks and i'm not gonna wear shoes i'll if i

get too tired i'll just go frolic in the water for a bit and regain my energy. I got maybe six to eight paces into the sand run before I'm like, oh no, oh no. This isn't what I imagined at all. This guy's not going to want to stop every hundred yards. And this ground, I don't know if it's because I'm retarded, but I didn't fully anticipate how much harder sand would make it to run because all of your push-off energy is just creating sand divots instead of moving you forward.

So you're running in legit sand. You're running in the beach. I was running on the water-packed, harder surface. So it's right there with the waves and everything. So it's not nearly as bad as, say, running dunes or anything like that. So I'm not going to run for an hour on loose sand or anything like that so like i'm not i'm not gonna run for an hour on like loose sand or anything like that man i man i i wish i had that passion to run because it always seems like you know it's the runners that live a long time and like except for that one guy jack lelame who died when he was

running right but remove him out throw him away but you're talking about the guy who wrote the book on running who died while running yeah he died mid-run it wasn't jack la lane i it probably wasn't jack la lane was like that fitness guy from so long ago that you look at him now and you're like that's fitness huh like would you look at that that guy looks like he has a six-pack a night like that's well i gotta i gotta find some hobbies because i feel like i feel like that's that's another key component is being able to incorporate that activity and i don't know something that you care about um yeah if they were like uh and it doesn't it wouldn't have to be like a running league or a weightlifting group like if there was just like a dodgeball league like

nearby where there were a bunch of 30 something year old guys fucking slinging dodgeballs at each other as hard as they could oh that'd be a crazy workout and i'd totally be into it and like i i guarantee five rounds of dodgeball with grown men is an outrageous workout like basketball all that all that's great like yeah paddleboarding whatever whatever you're into it's funny funny. I used to race Superbike Super Sport, and I did a lot of off-road stuff. I didn't know you did that. You rode Superbike? Yeah. We're talking about motorcycles on a track.

Yeah, yeah. We're a – yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's cool. And so I got into pit bike racing way back in the day, we would get a little Z fifties and we'd take and put, uh, moped tires on them. So they had street profiles and there was an abandoned go-kart, uh, track in Chattanooga. And we would go out behind the mall and we'd, we'd race out there.

And that kind of progressed into, um, the motocross super supercross style little pit bikes. And we would go out on RC car tracks and little tracks along those lines that had these jumps, but made for smaller sized vehicles and stuff like that. And so we would ride our bikes on them and they started taking off and people would let us come out there on like Fridays and Saturday nights. And we would have like legit like league races and stuff and I remember that wore me out so much far as cardio was concerned it's like man I just got

to find something something that I can have fun and be competitive in and I know like my body will just like my body will do whatever my brain tells me well Taylor me and Taylor and Chiz went to Colorado a few months back and we did indoor go-kart racing but they were really high-end go-karts after every race we were all just like oh my god my arms are just dead because the whole time you're fighting you're fighting the

whole time like against the car and like when you let go your shoulders down are just numb and dead your palms hurt so bad because you're having like part of it's just the intensity of it the other part is you're having so much fun you're not thinking about how like into like trying to get your turns right and everything i i so much the first lap that we did on that course these things how fast did they go i don't want to uh 45 55 like like really fast it It was an indoor, very quick turn, tight turn course.

They were faster than any go-karts I've ever been in. I hit Chiz. I T-boned him so fucking hard. Not even like, oh, I bumped him, and he kind of went, hey, fuck you, man, and I went, ah, right back at you, and then we kept going. I hit him so hard that I saw him enraged

trying to stand up out of the go-kart, only to be pulled back down by the thing. And he looked at me with just fury in his eyes. Because when I hit him, he didn't just, like, snap back. It was like a violent racking motion, like when you grab a chicken by the head and you go, to snap its neck. Like, it was, and that kind of showed me that that shit was more dangerous than I had realized. It didn't slow me down, but everyone I hit after that wasn't Chiz, and I didn't know them.

You can't trust him. I had a lot of fun with that. It wasn't even that expensive. It was a blast. Like $70 for a bunch of races. I don't know. We raced for like an hour. That was good shit. That's awesome. Not nearly as intense as a bike. When you tell these stories, Richard,

I have so much trouble when you're like, I got really into changing the profile on souped-up mopeds and riding around the Target parking lot. I'm like, is this 28-year-old Richard or is this 14-year-old Richard? Were their parents around? Or was he the adult, perhaps? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was a lot of fun, man. A lot of fun.

Those were the days where I look back and i mean that's like around 20 so i was i was i was really really fortunate enough that um i didn't die what cc motorcycles did you race like not the pit bike when you were going fast what cc motorcycle super bike and super sport so it was leader class bikes and 600s so r6 and r1s wow wow yeah you were so goddamn fast yeah well it's funny much i'm sure you read uh yeah every i mean every now and then but on the track it's it's it's it's a completely different a completely different thing uh like i would i would wholeheartedly recommend anybody who is thinking about buying a motorcycle or something like that. And they may, may not have a whole lot of experience,

like go to a class and go to a track day because the track experience and not even racing is just something where you're, you learn the profile of your tires and how far you can push it. It's just insane. It makes you not really want to ride on the road because there's so many more variables and hazards and things along those lines. Yeah, we were talking about this just before you came on the call, Richard, like Woody and I were. We were talking about motorcycles and how it related to paramotoring when you're with other people. There's so many unknown factors with the motorcycle thing. I could spend the next three years becoming the best motorcycle rider that i could be i could get

training and go to tracks and do all that stuff i could make it my life's goal but then one night a rabbit could run out when i'm taking a turn i lose my traction and i slide in the guardrail and die yeah yeah i mean the the unfortunate thing as far as timing and everything, Nicky Hayden just passed away. He was like, in my opinion, he was like the Jeremy McGrath in, well, I mean, that is World of Motorcycles. But, you know, he raced MotoGP and he was like, for the longest time, Americans weren't really recognized in the MotoGP world and world motorcycle racing and whatnot.

And he really just kind of like, he made a name for, well, he'll man his family because he's got two brothers, Tommy and Roger. He got hit on a bicycle a couple weeks ago or maybe a little bit longer.

I think he was in the hospital for about a week before uh he ended up passing away and everything but i mean that's pretty heavy news because he was like he's like a freaking stud man he was like in my opinion one of the one of the greats for sure so and that's that's just one of those those things is everyone it's very cliche people say it's not if, it's when. Whenever you're riding motorcycles enough, that's why I got rid of my bikes when I moved to L.A. I just saw it as an inevitability.

And I got hit by a car and chatted to new guys at a red light. I was on one of my R1s and they just hit me, stopped at the red light, going like 40 miles per hour. They were running the red light. They didn't... Yeah, the foot peg went through my left foot up into my ankle, severed all the nerves in my left foot, and I didn't walk for about six months. Luckily, I didn't even break a bone on that it was really weird uh the what an odd weird injury though like that foot peg going in like that ah yeah because there's so many long-term impact yeah are you pretty much kind of like mr deeds in in some ways where i can't can't feel my dad had a ruptured disc in his back and like the treatment for that was to go in the back and cut the nerve but it was also also the nerve that runs down his leg to the left or right side of his foot. And the whole thing's been numb for the last 20 years now. He didn't care.

He's like, at least that pain's gone. Crippling pain. He was having to take showers. He had put a chair in the shower. He had to sit down to take his showers. It was just excruciating pain. And then he went in for this surgery and they made an incision about an inch and a half Long you can I've seen the scar and you know they go in was it ortho Orthoscopically right and and they cut yeah, they cut that nerve and I think they actually put an implanted Pain killer of some kind like they put a tablet release. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and the next day He walked out of the hospital and was like you're like do you need any help get he's like no i'm good and then like and then like like from he's like i'm gonna put the the truck away i'm gonna walk from now on and he started like

walking like every day like five to ten miles a day because he gained weight and it was it was it was a whole thing but yeah yeah that must must be weird not people to feel your whole foot yeah you know it's funny like you're talking to you guys about that and everything like like it does seem like a long time ago and like i i i constantly have this conversation with people because i'm very aware of the fact of like the impact of social media action cams and things along those lines i am so so grateful i grew up when i did because uh i i i had a high eight camera mounted to the gas tank of my r1 uh to film me doing willies and stuff like that so it's a process it's a process like three sec suction cups and all that other stuff and uh had i had gopros and stuff like that, I'd probably be dead, man.

You would have killed yourself for two reasons. One, you'd have had the ability to like really step up like what you were doing and putting it on video. But two, you wouldn't be alone in that. You'd have other guys raising the bar. So even if you came up with the coolest shit you could do and you can master that and not die, you'd see some other jerk across the country who did it backwards on his camera. Yeah, like within 15 minutes of you posting it, the Montana Crazy Boy crew uploads a better thing to their channel, and then you go back to the drawing board.

Man, that's a good thing to say. All the jackass guys would have died if they were born that way. A paramotorist died last weekend. Really? Yeah. And I think he was out of practice he hadn't flown for like nine months and uh so he went to this event where a lot of people were flying together there was an instructor there he kind of you know he was instantly kiting

really well he launched perfectly he was ready to go the thing is i forget there's a term for it it's not kodak courage but it's essentially there's you know there's people watching you i i think that tempted him to go above his abilities and uh from about i'm making i'm filling in some details some of them just aren't known like like what his motivation was but from about a thousand feet he got into what's called a locked spiral. So the wing and the pilot just kind of go around each other, and the G's are

so high that they think that he blacked out. We'll see, but they think that the G's made him go unconscious. He spiraled all the way to the ground and literally exploded. Wow! What did he hit? Oh, the gas, the fuel tank? Oh no that's not

nearly as oh kyle was thinking like a water balloon full of paint because stick with me here i like i can totally picture this uh this what do you call a locked spiral yeah uh where like i imagine them as horizontal you know almost completely horizontal where they're spinning like that and i imagine he was like slung into something. Oh, right. I can see why you were thinking that. I think though it was just a field. Okay. And the paramotor itself, you know, gas and heat and stuff like that. That's the word that was used for me. So he was burned?

My guess is... Because now the scenario I'm picking is that... He probably wasn't conscious when he hit. He wasn't conscious, I don't think. He was unconscious in the air and dead on impact. I bet it was painless. What if he was alive and then he burned? It's a very small community. I don't want to be disrespectful in it. I'm not being disrespectful at all.

I'm saying what if he burned alive? That's awful. That's a real risk of the hobby. It gets right down to it. It's an extreme hobby and extreme shit can happen if it goes wrong. It hit me because I've been learning acrobatics. That's been my thing. Becauseics. Yeah, I wonder why. Because I also soar through the skies.

I just had gotten a gas tank, and I'm thinking. I do spirals all the time. I think I got, I've uploaded a video of me doing spirals, at least as cool as that, guys. And I'm like, I'm doing them this morning, and I'm like, how close am I to blacking out? I think I'm fine, right? You know, there are exercises for when you're in high Gs

to try to arrest that. I started thinking about that. Toes, foot. Breathing exercises and stuff. Get the blood into their brain. What's funny is this. I want to slip this out. What happens when a pilot dies from the community,

and it happens every so often, is suddenly that like that person's just gone it's not like we've got a dead pilot in the community all paramotorists are still alive you know like the whole community's still alive just one person left it and it's like even one week later it feels like it i mean i wasn't there i'm sure the people that were there have a bigger impact but to me it feels like it never happened like in the ground i didn't know beforehand i was scared to death for like a day or two and now well shucks it's been like seven days no one's died that's the nature of like any any hobby or interest where something else happens

like you know it could happen to you like when that lady got hit by a puck at the Columbus game and died. Like, I never am sitting in the crowd at a hockey game like, oh man, it's going to be me. It's going to be me. That lady molested children or something. Like, she's gone. No. That shit does not happen randomly.

That is fate. God himself guided that puck. You think that woman was a molester? Like, something happens when those freak accidents take people. I firmly believe that. And you might be like, oh, well, look at this person. He was an upright member of the community.

He wasn't a bad guy, but I guarantee if you dig a little deeper, he was in some kind of secret society sacrificing babies, vivisecting Japanese men or something. Or like one of those nurses they find out at, like, age 72. It's like, Susan, you know,ith had been a nurse for 60 years here only now are we finding out she killed over 600 children over these years like oh my god what have you have you done any like um emergency procedures for something like that where you've have you worked on blacking out like the like what to do in an event where you're you're graying or anything like that um

probably not to the level i should have so here's the deal what i do in an event where you're you're graying or anything like that um probably not to the level i should have so here's the deal what i do do is i i've started mentally rehearsing my grabbing my reserve parachute in that in that routine a lot i've been reading about it i read that if you start going gray you throw the reserve like that's like totally makes sense yeah i i i um i. It's so weird because I don't know anything about the para world, but speaking to wingsuits, it's progressed so much in the last five years that the emergency procedures and the instruction that people give you in those situations has evolved. And about a month ago, I got into the worst flat spin I've ever experienced. Um, and I about blacked out three times. And, uh, like I think my emergency procedures were the only thing that kind of kept me in it. Uh, so you have to bear with me through this, through this. But we're doing a wingsuit rodeo, and that's where a skydiver rides a wingsuiter's back, right, by holding on to the rig and

everything. And the chick kind of was off a little bit. And so when we exited, it threw us into a spiral, but she hung on. And so it initiated it and then accelerated it. And then when she let go, it just flung me. And so the original emergency procedures back in the day was, is to do like what you would do in a skydive, arch and put your arms behind you and reach for your handle so that you could deploy your pilot chute and hopefully even if it comes out into a mess and you have to cut away your main and sacrifice it, you

at least have your reserve there. Well, whenever you arch in a wingsuit, all that fabric and everything ends up turning you into a top. And soon as I arched, it accelerated it to point where it I have this this thing the Alty force that goes on your GoPro and it measures your G's I told myself I wasn't gonna film myself jumping this year because I felt like it was becoming a job instead of something that I enjoyed doing so I was gonna stop filming and this was like a dozen jumps into this year or whatever and I was like oh fuck i really

wish i had that on to know how many g's i was in but the second i started feeling myself graying i had my hand on the handle so you go toes toes squeeze the the bottom of your foot squeeze your calves squeeze your your quads and, squeeze, and just keep pushing that blood and like flexing that as much as you can to try to get as much blood flow back, back up to your brain. And, um, and then I came back to, and tried to figure out how to work it out. And the, uh, the latest evolution in, in those emergency procedures is if you're not flying the biggest wingsuit that you can fly and you can shut it down, get into a cannonball and you're going to flip around and you're going to fly around and stuff like that.

And it's going to take a little bit to sort out, but give it a few seconds. And then once, once the rotation slows, then point your head in the direction you want to go. For most of the time, if you're flying some of these bigger suits, you want to go head down, as scary as it seems, and accelerate down and then fly out of it. And that's what I did. I was actually on my back, and then I flew it out. But I burned close to 8,000 feet on that. So had that happened… A little close to 8,000 feet on that. So had that, had that happened, um, close to the ground.

Yeah. I mean, it was right out of the, right out of the, um, the, the door because she, she exited with me and everything. So I had of that entire time, pretty much the entire skydive was spent trying to get that sorted out. And, uh, afterwards everybody was like, Oh my God, I've never seen a flat spin like that before. I just knew you were going to toss. I was like, well, I have my audible on, so I still kind of know what altitude I'm at and everything. So I've been so terrified of getting into a situation like that, that I'm really glad that it happened and nothing went wrong.

Why don't you just throw your chute in. Like what, what's bad about that? Well, um, you run the, especially at a higher altitude. Um, if you, if you don't try to sort it out, um, it's fine. I mean, you can, you can do that, but, um, there's a very high probability that it's going to end up in line twists that you're not going to be able to recover the the canopy won't pressurize right and so you're going to have to cut it away which again is fine and unless you're flying a smaller canopy which um that canopy could accelerate you into another thing that you're going to have to cut away from and everything so um and then there's the financial aspect your your life and death you and death, your health and safety should never be dictated by financial decisions. But if you're at 10,000 feet and you cut away your main canopy, that thing is going to go a long ways.

You should sow into it somewhere. If found, please return to me. You should sow yourself a number in there. How much is a canopy? Two grand? Around $2,000, yeah. Is there any chance if you had gone all the way from gray to black there, is there a chance that you might have in that free fall

like snapped back to it in enough time? Is that something that's happened to people? Or is it like once you're out, you're kind of done? So there's a lot of scenarios that play out. And that's why they say to, um, you know, before every skydive wingsuit or whatever, at least kind of remind yourself of what those emergency procedures are and at what altitude, because in the event that you were to come to at 3000 feet and you deployed your main, um, you would, there's a high probability that you would still be maybe at terminal

and your AAD would cut, uh, your reserve pin and deploy it. And you may end up with two canopies out and an entanglement, which would probably kill you. Um, so you have to be very aware of your altitude, especially whenever you're cutting away and stuff along those lines. Cause you do have, uh, what's called an AAD that's measuring your fall rate. And if at a predetermined altitude based off of whether you're a student, a swooper or whatever, it'll deploy your reserve if you haven't already. So if you do get knocked unconscious, especially in a skydiving

situation, it could be extremely advantageous. But the thing with wingsuiters is all that fabric can throw you into so many different directions if you're unconscious. So that makes sense. Yeah. Oh, man. I'm a little confused. Did you ever just like, did you, so Richard, did you ever like play baseball or football or anything? Or did you like have one day of regular sports and be like oh this i need to jump out of something i need to soar through things ah it's weird that you you like because like even like that makes me feel like oh wow was i always in no um like baseball was politicized for me growing up the it was very like very much the community was all about baseball and politics where they were, you know, this guy's dad does this. And so this kid's going to start and everything.

Football and basketball were more performance based where like you had the really fast guys, you know, running wide out or cornerback and stuff like that. And, you know, I played football and basketball. I played soccer year round. I played soccer year round. I played school, um, school, uh, in the spring I played, uh, readout in the summer, indoor in the winter. Um, and so, I mean, we, you know, as I stayed pretty active, I was really fortunate in that, that way, my mom, she was, she's like a fricking a saint. Uh, like I, I, I tell people like, like I look back and I feel so guilty because I know she worked so hard, like so many jobs and everything. Somewhere there's a play it again sports that's fully stocked.

Yeah. And your mother. She's working like several jobs and stuff. And then I think back that I'm playing I'm playing like, you know, a sport, two sports a season. And, you know, like, you know, I didn't, I wasn't rich by no means. I grew up on a farm and like my, my first car would like, didn't even run. And it's like, you got to figure it out by the time you turn 16 and everything. But I look at those things like, you know, uh, entry fees for, uh, playing a team sport. and then your cost of uniform is like freaking 100 bucks man like 150 bucks and when you're uh you know like a a single mom and uh you got like three

kids two kids or whatever it's like that that shit adds up so um you know i i look back on that stuff but i didn't really get into um she didn't she didn't want me riding motorcycles and things along those lines. And I didn't really start until I was 17, 18, riding bikes. And then I didn't start wingsuiting and skydiving until a few years ago. And honestly, I never wanted to. But you look at, like, the big cumulonimbus clouds like we have right now in Tennessee and everything with all these storms coming in. I'm like, oh, my God! I would love to be up there flying around them they're so epic you're oh i forgot you're in tennessee yeah i bet you're all about predators yeah

i know i'm late last night i was like oh man i told chiz i was like dude I'm like I'm I live I live downtown right uh right next to Nissan and Bridgestone so um any guys ever want to come to a game definitely not the Stanley Cup because apparently those tickets are like a thousand bucks a pop I'm like uh we we like but we have a really cool community though because you we have like the um the grass outside and the the big screen and everything. So everybody walks down there. It's just a big party. I love it.

It's so much fun. How's the series going? Is it 2-0? It's awful. It's 2-0 in favor of Pittsburgh right now. But yeah, Nashville is having a nice resurgence there. Everybody's really liking it. They expected like 30,000 people downtown outside the arena

watching game three or game two, I guess, because it was in Pittsburgh. News on that guy who threw the catfish, they let him off. So the guy who threw the catfish on the ice during the game got let off. I read more details into the story and I actually

jotted a couple notes because the level of craziness of this guy was so much more than what I anticipated. So he didn't just bring the catfish to throw to the game. He realized that would be silly. They're going to catch me. I need to fillet the catfish and then remove the

spine and then run it over with my truck so that it's mushed. It's nice and mushed. And then you can put it between two layers of performance underwear so that it's really just tight against your legs. He cut at the fucking catfish and flattened it out and put it on his ass in his underwear.

And then halfway through the game he pulled out this hot, sweaty ass stink catfish and hurled it at the ice. But he wasn't confident enough off the bat to just take that approach. So purportedly, he did the same thing a few days before, before he went to his in-law's house to see if anyone would notice a smell. Because he coated it in cologne and Axe body spray.

And he reported after no one alerted him to the smell of fish, he thought it was good enough for Bridgestone Arena. And so he brought it in. Can you imagine that scenario? Like you're hanging out with someone and they smell strongly of fish? Like who's going to tell him? And he knew the answer he wanted because if he went to his actual family's house, they'd be like, dude, you smell like an old fish. But he went to the in-law's house knowing that they're going to be, God, why is Susan with that horrible fish man?

You know, like. Is he a fisherman? Is he a man of the sea? We live in Nashville, though, honey. You know. Dude, the Cumberland. Cumberland can smell in some places. That's for sure.

That's for sure. I guess it's catfish. Yeah, definitely. That's such a weird thing to do at a sporting event. Like, we always talk about how rowdy a weird thing to do at a sporting event. Like, we always talk about how rowdy fans can get and the traditions that they have, but throwing, like, dead animals onto the playing field is kind of a different thing. They're requiring ID in Pittsburgh to buy catfish.

You can't be from Tennessee and buy catfish in Pittsburgh. Yes, it is. I saw it. Yes, it is. That's gotta be horseshit! Like, you Remember around Halloween? I don't know if you were ever old enough to remember, but around Halloween, they won't sell eggs unless you're 18 or older in a lot of places.

Wow. Or 12. What did they call the night before Halloween where you lived? We didn't call it anything. In Jersey, it's a big thing. It's called Mischiefchief night and a lot of oh i'm sorry the yeah dude i would say like half of the people participated in mischief night i am i personally never really participated i did go around with people who were destroying not destroying but like defacing homes and such, but I didn't participate.

I did. I was a big fan of that. We mostly egged and mostly eggs. I'll be honest, we didn't egg the kind of houses that I thought it would damage. You wouldn't egg a painted house. It takes the paint off, but you egg a brick house or a

vinyl siding house, especially if it's someone you know. Now, if you're getting someone you know, there's no guilt because a random egging is kind of shitty, I'll admit. But if you're egging someone you know, especially someone you dislike, that's a different story. Aren't you just really punishing the parents of someone you know?

That's even better because the parents will make the kid clean it, of course, and they'll be like, what the fuck did you do that people are showing up here and throwing tomatoes? That is a quarter pound tomato that someone hurled at my bird hat. Like, all right, I got a plan. I got a plan.

Hear me out. So we're going to get Mark in the house, and then his parents will assume that Mark is responsible for this through his bad behavior. And then we'll make him clean the house. They could have many kids. I know this guy. If they did, I would also go to school with those kids.

These aren't strangers. I know this guy. We are getting his house because we know it will cause problems for him with his parents, and he will have to clean it. It's very hard. I don't know how much you hate him, too, because they'll be like, oh, they didn't just throw eggs. Your friends must really hate you if they sprung for this many tomatoes in the middle of February.

See, that's the thing. Scott's grandfather owned a produce stand, and he would give us the rotten tomatoes with a wink and a smile. With a wink and a smile. He'd say, have fun, boys, and give us a basket of them. Because it's a tomato, right? Like, I guess if you had a car with it, it's a little acidic. Maybe it'd take the paint off. But we're throwing tomatoes at trailers and shit. Kyle's like,

hey, I got an idea, guys. Let's go out on mischief night. We'll go to Mark's house. We'll burn his house down with his parents in it. And when he gets home, he'll find out he's an orphan and homeless. And then we'll get him with the tomatoes. Round two.

We like to go out and have a little fun. There's nothing wrong. I mean, eggs is definitely worse. I see the lowest level of that as teepeeing, which I think you kind of grow out of a little sooner. And you don't get as much into if you live in a rural area. Have you ever forked someone? You ever fork a yard?

I've never forked a yard. I've been there post-forking at aking at a friend's yeah so forking a yard for the uninitiated is when you see plastic forks are very cheap you can buy like 10 000 of them for like 30 you go in a yard and you stick them in the ground in the yard and that means someone has to come and pick them up every single fucking one of them and they're a lot easier and a lot more fun to stick in a yard. I don't buy this. I bet it's an equal amount of effort to put them in. Yes, but you're like a laughing 13-year-old.

You're like, tee-hee-hee-hee-hee. We're low to the ground, Woody. We have to get on our hands and knees and stab the ground rapidly with handfuls of these things. And you're 13. You have nothing to do. There's no opportunity cost for time. You just don't have anything better to do. There are adults who have to deal with this.

And we throw fireworks a lot. We'd get a big roll of fireworks, like the ones that pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, and they roll them up into a cylinder, and we'd sit that on a doorstep. And sometimes you take a cigarette, use that as a fuse. You smoke the cigarette a little bit

and tear the butt off and stick the cigarette burning onto the fuse, right? That gives you like 45 seconds if you understand how cigarettes work. Back then, they hadn't changed the paper yet. Can't do that now. The paper stops burning. They did that so people wouldn't burn themselves alive in the beds. But anyway, you're all the way sprinted back to your car park down the road, right as you hear, You're all the way sprinted back to your car park down the road, right as you hear,

and it just roars because, you know, it's 500 fireworks going off on someone's doorstep. You like to get up to mischief. Kyle's 11 years old with a cigarette. I'm 16 at this point. This is a 16 or 17-year-old story, I would say. A more mean-spirited prank, I remember, that I didn't do, but I knew friends who did this at least a few times is they would duct tape cars and it's not what you think you wouldn't put the duct tape on the cars you'd take giant strips of duct tape and you'd lay them sticky side up across the road and then when people drive across the duct tape it sticks to their wheels and inside the car it sounds like this is super super fucking loud

and then some poor asshole has to go up there fishing you know that that texture of duct tape that's so compressed it's become rock you know like like that kind of trying to pick that out of there but i always thought that was too mean-spirited so i uh i stuck to tackling christmas ornaments and uh things that weren't like what is tackling a Christmas ornament? You know like those big inflatable Christmas men or Santa Claus like that would just be enormous things as we would just drive around and jump out of cars and go Make it take a while if it's funnier because When you're 16 this stuff is hysterical.

You're bringing up so many old memories. And the thing with bats and breaking people's pumpkins on their doorsteps late that night where one of my friends was being retarded and was going around with a bat smashing people's pumpkins on their front stoops, which is fine. It was after Halloween. The pumpkins were needed no more. But there was a tin pumpkin that was used to keep a big candle in, and he smashed that thing with a bat and made the most resounding just like a gong summoning all the adults to wake and see the mischief we had wrought on their front porches. But at the time-

You're bringing up so many memories to me. Like you mentioned duct tape in the car. We saran wrapped the same guy's car who we, we would also egg and tomato and firework. Um, and because one of my friends, his mom had like a business where they did screen printing and a bunch of other stuff. And she had that, that device that has like plastic wrap on it on a handle and you can quickly like wrap something. And so you get two guys and you go end over end of the car like like not long ways but like around the doors you saran wrap the front door and the passenger door to the roof and undercarriage of the car under and around and over and over and you just take a whole roll on there they know they can't get the fucking car

without carefully razorblading it off it's a it's lots of these pranks are just ways to waste small amounts of others time and our time as well like like you we would never use bats to like smash pumpkins um we would use and at first we started smashing mailboxes with bats like out the window of the car and i can remember i was always the driver we didn't do that that's a crime it is a crime, but stick with me here. So I'd drive and Scott would, he'd hit these mailboxes with a wooden bat, by the way. Always use a wooden bat, more mass. And it's just funk, funk, funk.

And then, oh, there's a cedar one. And then, oh, here comes a good one. And I can still remember the noise. It went, dong! He had hit a solid steel mailbox going 45 miles an hour with like both hands gripping and when he came back in he had dropped the bat and he just went i was like you dropped my bat he's like fuck the bat i think i got nerve damage and so from then on after, we lost the bats.

And we started doing, you know, we got to a point in high school where physics was being taught, I suppose. And we were like, wait a minute, the car is going 45. That means we're going 45. That means this rock is going 45. And we'd hurl like a boat ramp. 35 miles an hour. And you hit a mailbox with that rock going 45 miles an hour. And I mean a rock bigger than your head.

I don't know what I was expecting when you started to lead into that saying. And by that time, we were learning physics and science. Like, are you going to set up a pulley system or some fulcrums? No, no, no, no. We learned that rocks thrown from fast-moving vehicles continue quickly. You know? Got all that polonium. So, no, these mailboxes would fucking explode when this piece of granite that weighed 15, 20 pounds hit them at 45, 50 miles an hour.

And after a while, we had our lead down perfectly. So it was just like shooting a bird with a shotgun. Like, it might look like, oh, he's moving fast. But it's like, yeah, I'm going to aim four feet in front of him. Boom! And every mailbox we wanted would explode, and we kept going faster and faster and faster until we got to the point where we'd go 70 miles an hour and fucking hit

a mailbox with that rock, and it's something to be seen when a boulder hits something at 70 miles. It's like a cannonball. I mean, this seems like a prank that you really can only do once every maybe couple of years, since people have to replace those mailboxes. Because I'm pretty sure the statute of limitations is up. i we did that shit every fucking night and and we kept

score on a marker board uh hung from my air conditioner vent on a marker board i would fill the whole floorboard up with these rocks and we would go like out in the middle of nowhere where there weren't likely to be patrols or anything. And if someone did report us, you know, we'd be gone. You know, we'd hit an area and then we'd go to a new county. We hit so many mailboxes. But I regret that now. I shouldn't have done it.

Those were people's mailboxes. And since then, I've had to purchase several mailboxes of my own. I realize how expensive they are now. How much is a mailbox for you? Like $150. Yeah. If you want a regular just, okay okay that's not a piece of shit

mailbox kind of mailbox i hadn't it when i lived in a subdivision there was a homeowners association and we had to buy a new mailbox like i don't know every four years or something because they get old and ratty looking and you get a letter saying you know you're not good enough to live here anymore fix you guys and they were like approved mailbox suppliers and these things would be like 200 for a mailbox and it was outrageous and some people would try to like buck the system and get a mailbox that was very similar to everyone else's mailbox but no i mean it was totally a buy it nice or buy it twice situation because they'd just be like nah do you see how

your gold straps over the mailbox are seven eighths of an inch and everyone else is their one inch you're out of you know like you don't conform and what do they do then like what's the procedure if you're like well i think it looks pretty good and i think it's good enough like are they like oh well we're gonna requisition the board and get make this happen like what's the next step for them to make you do it? Ultimately, they can take your house away. For something like a mailbox. Man, that's crazy. So it didn't happen. I've read

about people who've lost their houses for refusing to change the color of their paint. Flying flags or something when they weren't supposed to. Stuff like that. Or maybe even a flagpole too big. Like you're allowed to have a standard flag or something but this guy's got a 50 foot pole and oh glory's up there she's so big when

the wind blows you hear it if i yeah i can understand you're allowed to have the kind that went on an angle like off your front porch but not like a standalone you know out of the whole pole yeah you got to go out there every day and yeah yeah i thought about getting one of those so i knew what direction the wind was coming from all the time dude you should you should get it you should be like a business though you don't just get one flag like like what kind of noob gets one flag they always have three right they got three flagpoles they got the american flag their state flag and then something more more personal right like a university or a sports team you got like the jolly roger

running up there or something like Like whatever it is for you. Yeah. I thought of it. The thing is, I need a flagpole that's sturdy enough to hold up to like all everyday wind. And I need one that's fragile enough that if I hit it, it falls over. And those two things kind of contrast. So I don't want a flagpole. I just have a fiberglass little windsock pole.

I was picturing that. I was like, what if he hit it? But I was like, nah, you ain't going to hit a flagpole. I mean, he fiberglass little windsock pole. I was picturing that. I was like, what if he hit it? But I was like, nah, you're going to hit a flag pole. I mean, he's steering around houses and stuff. I've had two other people ever launch from my yard. One of them ran over my windsock and broke the pole. And that guy was a good pilot.

Much better than me. Yeah, that's a bad track record. One for two. Yeah. He was launching toward it and he was kind of at this committed phase. And he's like, I, and he was kind of at this committed phase. And he's like, I'm going to hit this flagpole. Well, it'll be what it'll be. At least I didn't spring for the really nice flagpole.

You know, like 10 feet into the ground, reinforced. Yeah, get that. I bet Rush Limbaugh sells those. This flag will last for generations. Yeah. Let the commies know what side you're on with the 150-foot flagpole. What have you guys been watching?

I've been watching a lot of House of Cards and Fargo, of course. I watched the newest episode of Fargo last night. For some reason, it released then. You got there Texas All-Year Tournament? I'll have to... Two episodes into Fargo. I wish I liked it more. I love Fargo. Part of it, I think,

was me. I was exhausted. Part of it is, this show can just be a little hard to follow. This is not a spoiler. It opens up with a Nazi accusing someone of killing his girlfriend, right? And he's like, you're 22 years old.

Your girlfriend is Helga Amschmidt or whatever her name is. And you killed her. And he's like, as you can clearly see, he's like over 40. I haven't been 20 in a long time. My wife's name is Helga, but that's not her last name. And she is very much alive. And they're like, this is impossible. Are you saying the state's wrong? No, no, no. Not that her last name, and she is very much alive. And they're like, this is impossible. Are you saying the state's

wrong? No, no, no. Not that. Just, like, she's alive. I didn't kill anyone. And does that have anything to do with the rest of the show? Does that ever come back? I don't know. I haven't watched it yet. Yeah, I think that was all about, like, the truth is

what people say it is, not what actually happened I and so you're gonna see that go. I was supposed to get a meta meeting from that. That's what I took from it and that was a that was in like there was a Soviet right I don't think it was the a Nazi oh yeah I could be wrong but it doesn't matter yeah that's what I took from it that like the truth is what the people in power say it is not necessarily what the facts were and and and that's what I took from it, that the truth is what the people in power say it is, not necessarily what the facts were. And that's kind of what the female officer is kind of fighting against the whole way through.

She's got these superiors. Her superior was like this guy in Iraq, and he's like, things are simple. Coincidences happen, all right? It's just you got cause and effect. You know what happens when you mash potatoes? You know what you get when you mash potatoes mash potatoes all right like it's the world is made like that and she's like look i got all these i got this graph here this chart like charlie kelly with like lions connect and he's like i don't want to look at that get that the fuck out of here you don't have a job

you know it's it's i really like it and and things have been accelerating it it's it's definitely on a uh on a tilt. Like things get crazier as you go. I might re-watch the second episode because I think I was just about, you know, fading off. I was waiting for the rest of the family to go to bed. And I'm really digging House of Cards too. I think it's the final season of House of Cards is what this is. And I'm, I don't don't know eight nine episodes in i

would say wow it's uh it's very very good uh uh you know it's it's they have another one of those talks frank and his wife the same way they did in season one where they're like we have to make a plan he's like now if this doesn't go well i can't protect you with that made-up southern accent like it's antebellum times or something that's not how we sound in any case though he tells her this and then they kind of like close the doors and a plan is hatched and then you start seeing the plan take place even though you don't understand the moving parts of it because and no one does and a lot of the moving parts also don't know how the plan works so you see characters acting in weird ways and then it all comes together and then big moves start taking place he's just he's just reworking the constitution and fucking everybody over every step and the public

screaming and it's it mirrors the the trump situation in some ways you got people outside the white house with the signs not my president it's uh it's a good season. I'm digging it. Trump pulled out of the Paris Accords. I don't think he... Well, the news is happening as we speak, and I see how they keep wording it, but I don't think... I haven't read anything that said Trump has pulled out. I see that he's expressed his intent. He keeps saying he's going to. The people around him say that he's let them know he's going to. And I suppose I suspect him to, but I haven't read that he has. I want to say he has. Like, ABC reported he has.

Elon Musk, he threatened that he was going to do it. But he hasn't left, though, right? Like, I'm waiting for the... He already quit. Musk quit? Yeah, Musk quit. That happened, like, next few last few hours this morning i was reading it seemed like they didn't know um trump withdrawing this is on abc

news um apparently what does that mean for us what does that mean for the the everyday american and that we're uh not that we've left this uh this treaty I don't know I mean I guess if you ask someone looking through their red lens they say this is gonna another campaign promise kept this is gonna be jobs and money and things like that another campaign promise kept just came on this autoplay video if you look at it through the blue lens it's like dude who doesn't like clean air and water why like you you have to mandate this stuff what if we're looking at through the blue lens, it's like, dude, who doesn't like clean air and water? You have to mandate this stuff. What if we're looking at it through the red, white, and blue lens? Is this good for America, but bad for the rest of the world, perhaps?

Because a lot of people seem to be very much against this. Although, I think if Trump came out and said he liked vanilla ice cream, it would be turned into a white supremacist thing, and we'd be throwing vanilla ice cream in the streets. It's very popular to dislike Trump and anything that he's for, right? So even if he did have a good idea, you'd have people rioting at him. I don't think so. I don't know anything about this. I think that the notion that Trump is just being unfairly treated by the press for things like vanilla ice cream when he's really firing his you know the head of this cia so that all those things are true that he's done bad things but what i'm saying is i don't think he could do

a good thing in their eyes i agree i fully admit he does plenty of bad things but if he did a good thing would anyone admit it i don't know i'm thinking the supreme court nomination went over pretty well if there was any fussing it just had had to do with the fact that Obama was kind of screwed. But no one really gave Trump a hard time over that. Yeah. It's not like Trump really picked the guy anyway. I mean, he signed a piece of paper that, yeah, it's this guy. But the Republicans picked that guy.

I give Trump credit. He was from the approved list that Trump got from the Republicans. I hear where you're coming from, and I agree. But I feel like ultimately Trump deserves credit for that. Oh, and no spoilers. This is the last thing I'll say about House of Cards. It gets a little out there at one point. You think when you're watching a show, you really understand the boundaries of that world.

And all of a sudden, they expand those boundaries a little bit. There's another thing out there. There's another... Aliens! Aliens wouldn't... In the realm of that, to be quite honest. Like, in the realm of, like, almost as crazy as saying that there are aliens involved

is the thing that they're actually involved with to some extent. Bigfoot's running for governor. Jesse Ventura? Unfortunately, I've already served a bunch of slack-jawed faggots. That guy's great. He's a maniac.

I've watched Predators so many times that whenever I see Jesse Ventura talk, all I can see is that guy getting old painless out the bag. I want to listen to what he's got to say about politics. Just because he says it in that voice of like, sounds authoritative, but he doesn't. Who's to say if anything he's saying is fact? And he'll admit that sometimes when you really back him against the wall. He's like, well, who's to say, Howard?

I'm just here commenting on what I see, what we all see in front of us. Well, I don't know, Howard. I'm just a former governor, not some radio hotshot. During my time in the Seals, of course, I was privy to quite a bit of top secret intel. He was privy.

Man, you guys are pretty on point with your impressions there. Those are awesome. As long as you don't fully know who Jesse Ventura is, with your impressions there. Those are awesome. As long as you don't fully know who Jesse Ventura is, we both sound great. Nailed it. If you have a cursory understanding of who that is, you're like, yeah, that's about right. Yeah, your inflictions and cadence and everything is pretty good. That's awesome.

Mexico. Just your emphasis with your mouth and how he does that stuff is just a minnesota thing that mexico you know it's it's that's why i like fargo so much i've been watching fargo and of course the whole point of fargo the movie and the series is that people up in that region of the world are a little dumb right like i think my lucky star is that fargo isn't called atlanta right they're just they just have silly accents it's like no no it's called Atlanta. They're dumb. They just have silly accents. No, no, no. They're dumb.

It's all about these ridiculously naive and ignorant people who are completely uninitiated with the... I don't know if I'd go that far. Oh, totally, yeah. And they don't get it, right? They think that they can talk their way out of these situations or that like then all of a sudden literally a man sticks his dick in your coffee cup, you know? And you're like, what? I'm not built to handle this, eh?

You know, like they don't get it. Well, I don't know where you're from, but that's not something we do around here, buddy. Oh, no. My wife gave me that cup, you know? And that sort of shit happens and they don't – and they fucking break down. But the main thing is they're dumb, right? Think about the Fargo, the movie, the guy who's running the car dealership. He's a moron.

He just bungles the whole thing. Niggered from season one of the show. He's a dummy. He bungles the whole thing. And there's always like one or two guys who are. Oh, Dr. Richard Nygaard. Nygaard. And there's a few characters in there that are like smarter than

than the average duck in the real world outside of the fargo you know and and they can clearly see that like everybody else is just too dumb to pick up the pieces there's a guy in this current season who's like a retarded policeman he's literally a retarded policeman woody always talks about that scene where the the cop pulls uh billy bob thornton over and Billy Bob basically talks him down, like, Get the fuck out of here and let me go. That happens again this season. The cop forgets his gun in the station, goes back in to get his gun, and there's the bad guy, standing there reading a book. And he's like, uh, sir, you're not supposed to be in here. And the bad guy's Russian, of course. He's like, Some people would say you're crazy. You sit here in the room full of books and talk to yourself

Because I am NOT here He just keeps flipping through the book. He's like now you've really got to leave and he starts walking toward the cop with this like Blackjack type device like a leather encased lead thing and he starts talking some kind of crazy Russian shit and at the end of it He's like I see you forget your pistol Get it and he like gets his gun. the end of it, he's like, I see you forget your pistol. Get it. And he, like, gets his gun. Now the cop's armed. He's like, no, go. And the cop fucking goes.

He's just terrified. He walks out. The Russian guy in the show is like the... He's the muscle, the scariest of them all. And when he goes into battle to, like, go kill people and do some hardcore shit, he wears a wolf head. He's got a wolf head that's on top of his head. What year

is this Fargo happening in? 2010. That's the best part. We moved up to an age of cell phones and technology that we're all pretty comfortable with. Who are the big actors in this season, if there are any? Ewan McGregor. He plays dual roles.

I didn't recognize that it was Ewan McGregor. He plays dual roles. And you don't recognize, I didn't recognize that it was Ewan McGregor playing both roles until like the second episode. I'm a little slow, I guess. But to be fair, one character looks like Ewan McGregor except with kind of a curly afro thing. And his brother, who he also plays, has like this hillbilly, completely balled up front and long stringy in the back. Like a crooked nose, a cleft chin. And he's got a belly so they look wildly different uh and they're kind of opposed against one another and we've gotten to the point now i guess where it's seamless when the same person is talking to himself in a

room with digital effects and everything um i i really like the season yeah it's not like uh the nutty professor is that what it is although they did a pretty good job where it's not like The Nutty Professor. Is that what it is? Although they did a pretty good job. Where it's just clearly just Eddie Murphy sitting around a table with Eddie Murphy and Eddie Murphy and then Eddie Murphy. And he gets halfway through that movie and it's like, he's not even trying to do the voices anymore. That's just Eddie Murphy's voice coming out of his mouth. Like you could see him in real time losing interest in, like, the premise. They didn't pay me enough for this shit. Yeah.

Who would have thought the scenes would get less funny when you do them the 600th time as the fat character who doesn't say much? Good job, Eddie. I just need one more take, except this time, try to sound like an old woman. Fuck this shit. I'm going back to Shrek. Shrek 4. We'll let Flo from progressive take that oh yes she was kind of

cute back in the day but i noticed that as she's aged they've been very nice to her and that they started animating her and let her voice the animated character yeah that was uh that was a decision not made independent of her aging and looks and weight the latest one she did the eddie murphy thing right oh she's playing like seven characters on like a fam like on a family camping trip or whatever i haven't seen that she's playing grandpa she's playing like herself and like the young kid and everything yeah all right i didn't know flo had that kind of talent she's been slinging fucking car insurance all these years. I didn't know she was a trained actress.

I'll have to watch that commercial. Let me do an advertisement here. Tell everyone a little bit about HelloFresh. I really like HelloFresh. No. This episode of Pink already is brought to you by HelloFresh. HelloFresh is the meal delivery service that makes cooking more fun. So you can focus on the whole experience and not just the final plate.

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It's really easy to use. Everything's there and the exact amount of mayo or olive oil or sprig of whatever herb you need is right there. And the portion sizes were perfect. I felt like I was eating a healthy amount of food.

It wasn't too much. It wasn't too little. It was really easy to use. Big fan. HelloFresh.com You know what just occurred to me richard buys something every time we uh have him on the show which one is he gonna get is he gonna dollar shave it is he gonna set up a website will he hello fresh it's gonna be something i think i'm gonna try hello fresh honestly like so the thing is like i've been on a um uh the the food kick far as convenience is something that

i can kind of backslide when it comes to uh my diet and everything so if i don't it's such a first world problem uh but because i'm i'm juggling several jobs i don't really have you know the the whole thing about like steve jobs wearing a uniform, you know, and a lot of successful people, that's kind of what they do. I totally understand it. It's like I don't want to make any more decisions in a day, right? As bad as it sounds, a date or something like that. I'd be like, you can make the decision on this or something. I just don't want to make the decision on food because I feel like food is an opportunity for me to enjoy company with, you know, like a friend's family or significant other or something. I just don't want to think about the details of having to go figure out what to buy and everything. So I like the meal delivery kind of option so if

it's it's you know hello fresh you know you get is it like one of those things where you get to make the stuff or is it like you get all the ingredients for like the whole meal uh like like and i mean like it's the perfect amount of everything so like if you need mayo to mix with something else and it's going to make a cool sauce like there's the perfect amount of mayo, perfect amount of everything. When you're done, everything goes in the garbage and you're just done. See, that's great because then it's an activity too, right? So you get – as cheesy as it sounds, it's that bonding time with whomever. You get to – you're doing an activity.

You're not just like – Or you do it before they get there and you act like – and you throw all that HelloFresh shit away. Bag that up up throw it out but you're like look what i made yeah yeah fresh arugula and blah blah blah it's delicious yeah yeah there's a zero percent chance that i would give credit to any ordering service for a meal that i make if i'm trying to impress someone like but they'll find out soon if they ever like watch me cook they'll be like you don't know how to yeah but by then you got them like there's a point where you're like oh by the way um i'm not a professional runner and i can't cook for shit just so you know going forward those were lots it's funny is like i

bought those shorts just for you don't even i'm like i can't remember anything from like a day ago it's just like like so much information overload on a day to day basis that I'm just constantly emptying, uh, the cash on whatever. But, uh, I can,

I can base where, where I was and my life or what point in time by when I was on PKA and based off of what I bought. So I remember whenever I moved to Nashville, you guys had Casper as a sponsor because then as soon as we got out the podcast, I didn't have a bed. So I ordered a mattress for it and everything. So it's like I have all these milestones based off of like pka ad reads

richard's just living pka to pka richard your jobs are always fascinating right you're like oh yeah i've got this like multi-million dollar coffee enterprise cooking over here it's about to go viral and i've got this like i don't know discovery channel series what's cooking what what's new since the last time did anything hit big miss um well we will okay we'll talk about work first then um and then just remind me of uh hits and misses um yeah uh things are great man like uh rated red uh with with complex with Complex and everything, that's what I do here in Nashville, is doing really well. It's weird because I think the last time we talked, I was kind of uncertain of, like, you know, there's a lot of people involved. There's a lot of ways a ship can go.

lot of people involved there's a lot of ways a ship can go and you just you really want to make sure that like you know if you're a part of something everybody's kind of like aware of of i don't know i don't know how to put this but it like if there's anything i've learned over the years when it comes to digital media and everything it's like just don't burn your audience right like you can do things here and there and everything, but just be, don't, don't lie. Don't try to be something that you're not necessarily, or don't patronize people. You might get, you might get success really quick by doing that, but the longterm is, is, is going to be non-existent. It'll be very short lived. And, and so like a good example would be like gun bunnies or something like that in the firearms industry. Yeah, it's fun to look at for like, you know, a few days or something like that.

It might get you a lot of Instagram likes or followers and stuff. But what's the long term on that? So it was like I really wanted to make sure that we did things that people could kind of hang their hats on and be proud of. And it's just it's hard to do when you're doing like six to ten videos a day and everything. I can't in no way, shape or form take credit for all the great stuff going on. I like being part of that and being able to choose things here and there and some of the directions and the ways we incorporate stuff. It's awesome. What are we talking about? You have a YouTube channel that makes ten videos a day?

This is Rated Red. It's rated red. It's 10 videos a day, rated red. Yeah, rated red, yeah. So that's what I came to Nashville to be executive producer on. And so we're doing about 80 to 100 million views a month, mostly on Facebook and everything. And we cover everything from firearm stuff in our our guns of the week to to automotive i went to ford and did some uh stuff on their rs and drifting they they ford let me go to uh the utah motorsports campus and their half million dollar supercar the gt were like take it out hot laps we programmed a three hour drive through the mountains have fun and they brought like their um their le mans driver out and uh to give me lessons and stuff and i'm i'm like going 150 miles per hour on this thing and they're like constantly pushing me they're like faster faster don't, don't brake, don't brake, don't brake. And I'm like, I have to brake. I'm so sorry. I have to brake. I'm not used to it. And I felt so,

I don't know. I felt, it's weird. I felt bad being there because I'm like, there's so more deserving people in the world that should be in this position driving this car, but I'm so grateful. old that should be in this position driving this car but I'm so grateful it's so much fun um and then uh I took a red eye to to New York or to Boston and I drove up to uh New Hampshire and I went to rally school for four days and um and we just we just get to do all kinds of cool content um with them uh still doing stuff with FullMag, just not as frequent because of the whole adpocalypse thing, which I'd be curious to hear y'all's thoughts on potential solutions. But I just did a thing with the Air Force that I'm going to have go up next Tuesday where I did a wingsuit jump out the Bombay doors of a B-17.

That's really cool. Then we did a proximity flyby of the American flag with my buddy flying it under canopy and everything. That was terrifying, super, super scary. But it's all good stuff. And then the coffee company, I stepped into the marketing role there and really doubling down on the analytics and everything and really trying to draw lines between causation, correlation and everything else and how to scale things up from there outside of

just the organic social reach. And it's it's all fun it's all fascinating it's uh seem like full-time jobs like they are it can't be that you're giving them all the attention they need so here's the thing i feel like i i don't know um my personality type uh or what but um i feel like if I am left to my own devices where I focus on one thing, I'll crush it. Like not in a good way, I'll kill it. Like just squeeze it to death because I'm just OCD. I think stepping outside of the box on a regular basis allows me to look at things objectively so that I don't have time to focus on things that may not be relevant. And a good example of that is I used to pick college football and I would never actually bet money on it. I would do like the ESPN Dr. Pepper challenges and stuff along those lines.

And I was exceptionally well at it. But the second somebody tried gambling on it or I went to gamble on it, I started overanalyzing it and looking at things that just were not really things I should be looking at. And I feel like it's the same way. I think a lot of people can get bogged down into distractions or what we like to call squirrels. Somebody comes in the room and releases a squirrel and you get distracted. And it's like, before you know it, the end of the day has already come and gone. We also call those people idea fairies because they just get like, you say, this is what we need to do or whatever. And then somebody chimes in, hey, I got an idea. And then before you know it, there's like a lot of other people. This kind of forces me to be more managed with my time and how I allocate things.

Unfortunately, it means I say no a lot to opportunities and things along those lines. But I definitely prioritize things. And it's really good. I think they all complement themselves really well too. Where it's like the coffee company works well with rated red and vice versa and and full mag it's just like it's just a really really good like perfect storm right now that's true you wouldn't want to sell like your own brand of sleepy time tea or something like you need coffee or energy or some pill that's like no more fear of heights, that would sell for you.

Because I'd buy some. Well, I'd let you send me some. But that's a good idea for you as well. Well, I mean, I think PKA needs maybe to transition into the weight loss arena with some products, right? I just feel like we've got this. We've got like hundreds of thousands of people listening to us losing weight.

Like what if PKA had a pill we could sell that worked? worked of course why don't we make our own sort of like supplement yeah yeah it'll be ours what can ours be called you know leave a comment about that we have a good idea for our brand pkant and see if anyone notices i can't i just saw joe rogan copy but we changed oh i know but we we like what all those supplements it's my understanding like are the same right because it's just it's just whey protein or casein or something like that in a big jar and you can put a different label on it that's what i do yeah yeah sure we need our own brand of protein power, for sure. I just look at everything very mathematically in a lot of ways. For example, you take t-shirts. I don't want to bore anyone, so please feel free to jump in at any time.

But you look at the known size of a market. So what's the potential for something if you're wanting to sell something? What's your demographic reach? And then realistically, what do you think you can take of that market share organically and by advertising? How many middlemen are you going to have in that supply, either manufacturing, logistics, and things along those lines? And at the end of the day, if you're not seeing a significant margin for one, then it's just gonna be a distraction. So you should probably focus on something

that's either gonna A, bring you more money or allow you to, or not do it so you have more time with your family or friends or something along those lines. And prioritize those things for sure because like you can spend, how many people sell t-shirts right now, it's a very saturated market to some extent. And so if you're only getting a $2 margin on it,

is it really worth your time? Or is it just an ego thing to say, I got this shirt with my name on it. And what. You gotta go full Kanye, right? Sell like $1000 plain white t-shirts. How many people are buying those, though? I'd like to know the profitability of that version of Kanye Enterprises or whatever the fuck.

Is that just something – is that a lost leader? Is that something he's putting out there so he can add fashion designer and fashion mogul to his credentials, and that's why it's valuable to him? Or is that a successful fashion line, and there are just fucking morons out there spending thousands of dollars on something that's worth pennies. I saw his shoes, and they weren't even good looking. But you need a lot of morons to deal with the advertising cost and the production and everything. Because where is it even being made? All I know is I've seen those images of his shirts and stuff. And oftentimes the people wearing them look homeless. It'll be like a shirt that's eight times too big with a neck hole that's four times too big

like hanging off you diagonally. You look like a peasant from the middle ages. It seems like it's a lazy way to just be like, oh yeah, the style is big, poorly shaped crew necks and ill-fitting tees that don't quite go far down rough. It's like, well, that's a stupid style. Well, no, it's really cheap. And so that's the style. And so I'll let my picture get taken in my goofy ass T-shirt every once in a while. I think with Kanye, I don't know shit about this. I've never bought one of his shirts.

But he seems like the kind of guy where he would just keep something like that present so that he can keep Fashion Mogul as like a little tag at the end of his title. That's what i think well i i i don't know like like please feel free to like be like well or like stray on this if you want but i was really curious as to y'all's y'all's thoughts between the whole youtube thing where it's like i was looking i never really looked at my ad revenue before um but now I'm being now I'm being forced to because because my time is kind of stretched thin where I need to bring people on in certain areas to help facilitate certain things and like dude my Tennessee blasting license

getting insurance for that annually annually, $80,000. Annually, $80,000 to be able to shoot Tannerite into Tennessee. It's crazy. And so I'm trying to figure out ways to keep the company that I have with my YouTube channel and everything, um, not profitable because I never really was. I just spent all the money, uh, on the channel making videos whenever it would come in. Um, but now it's like, Oh, I'm going to be at a significant loss now. Um, and I see people like Phil doing, um, his Patreon stuff. I think you guys have Patreon too, correct? We do. And so between the podcast and everything else, like my only idea is kind of like what we did with the coffee. It's like, how do you have a consumable or a merchandise or something where you just focus on getting views

and connecting? Because my big thing with merchandise and consumables and stuff too is i don't want an inferior product like whenever i sell something to a viewer or a somebody who appreciates the stuff i create i want them to be not only excited about getting it but when they get it they're like oh wow this is great this is way better than what i thought i didn't just throw 20 25 bucks away on a piece of crap that has your name on it this is great. This is way better than what I thought. I didn't just throw 20, 25 bucks away on a piece of crap that has your name on it. This is like legit good quality. I like this or whatever it is. So I'm just trying to figure this whole thing out where it's like, okay, how can I keep somebody on staff to help me make sure my YouTube videos still go without putting all my personal money into it because it's it I

mean that thing is a mutton cow you you know probably better than anyone how big of a money pit it is just your your your your 10 destructive device license it's three thousand dollars to renew and it's like these little licenses and training and all that other stuff just to be compliant adds up to so much and that's not even on top of the ammunition and everything else and i've never had an ammo sponsor never had a gun sponsor or anything like that so i'm like well um so now how do i pay for all this stuff and the the core of the issue is that ads don't pay for it anymore? Yeah. The ad apocalypse thing? Yeah, because for me, I noticed my monetization went from about 35% to about 10% or 15%. So it's more than cut in half.

More than cut in half. What do you mean your monetization is a percent? Like, that's something I don't understand. So the number of ads being served on my videos so say I hypothetically speaking out of just out of 10 million views before 3.5 to 4 million of them would be monetized now. It's like 1.5 Million are monetized, so it's like

1.5 million are monetized so it's like you know eight point the apocalypse backed off no not really my monetization is still super low super low hmm yeah i don't know mine i i don't really look at it that closely but i just figured like oh you know may and june must suck okay that's true that's true that's true i mean mean, it is a very like, like August, uh, July and August people are always on vacation and it dips really, really heavy and stuff along those lines. But I don't know. I just been trying to sort that stuff out, um, because I really would like to amp it up and, um, and, and do more videos along those lines. Cause I feel like it's a big waste. I mean, I feel like. I feel like an idiot saying this because Kyle's got this channel with millions of subscribers.

I feel like I should be creating content for it and I'm not. It's really frustrating with the ad thing. I think the the replacement is going to have to be some kind of a product or and then sponsorships but sponsorships that make sense of course like i mean yeah that's the i mean most of the shit you see was given to me you know and you know with cash along in hand and that that's what it's going to take to like make a video of that that has production quality you know if i'm going to fly five people to Texas and then we're going to

spend money on ammo and explosives and permits and stuff and don't even start with the licensing, you've got to have some kind of sponsorship on the way driving the thing. Yeah. Well, just another good example would be the wingsuit video, right? So a lot of people see they see oh you jumped out the bomb bay doors of a b-17 cool nope uh that's not that's not everything that went into it i had to pay three pilots uh i had to have three rigs uh on on standby in case there was an emergency um you know i had to pay crew and everything, but the Salt Lake Municipal Airport, whatever that organization is, I have to pay them. Anytime you do something legally, it costs generally a good amount of money. You look at some YouTubers, I won't name any names, but they've been in the news for not necessarily following regulations.

And it's like, well, yeah, we've been saying this. Type the name? Oh. It looks like Kyle knows. I know what you're talking about. Yeah, I mean, like. I can see that. Yeah, and so there's a lot.

I mean, there's a lot of people when it comes to um different things uh where they do a legal stuff this is yeah what are you what are you talking i'm gonna say it unless you stop me no i mean it's fine there's like a dozen different people so you can say whoever oh well the, the one that he typed in there, Casey, which I assume means Casey Neistat and the drone thing. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Casey Neistat flew drones over New York, and you're not allowed to fly drones.

Is it a congested area? Is that how they define it? Yeah. The thing is, they're very ambiguous about the regulations right so like anytime it comes any anytime it comes to the atf the faa and things along those lines it's always better to err on the side of uh do every everything that you can dot every i cross every t um and and

i think you say that but you dot so many i's and cross so many t's that you can't make a video anymore and then you start wondering if it's always better wow you know there are worse things than not being able to make a video i agree well i know with the drone thing i think the maximum penalty is fifteen hundred dollars right so if i know that's what it is with paramotors um if you're commercial, it's higher. So he might be commercial, which is 10 grand. He is. He absolutely is commercial.

He's earning a revenue off those. I hear you. But the FAA defines commercial, right? Exactly. That's the problem. And they will define it to commercial if it'll give him an extra $8,500, I would think. Yeah. him an extra 8,500, I would think.

Yeah, but the problem is he was probably way safer about it than the people watching his videos. Say somebody was flying a drone in LA or something like that, which has happened where it's

crashed, hit cars and stuff like that. I mean, it's unfortunate, but there's there's a bunch of different scenarios out there i mean even the guy like in georgia who you know like blew his leg off with the mower and everything it's like you have you have a lot of instances where people are are are filming that video of this their video of the lawnmower oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah i'm gonna invest a little bit of time in that. On the Casey thing, what I was saying is, so I don't think he's commercial.

I know Kyle's concerned that they're going to start redefining commercial, but commercial is like Delta Airlines and cargo agencies and stuff. He's flying for profit. Yeah. Maybe, maybe. Even if it's commercial, let's say that it is. The maximum fine, I think, is $11,000. I'm not positive on that, but I think it is, um, 11 grand. If, if Casey's

videos did even like 2% better because he was able to lead with those cinematic shots of drones over the city or tour boats or things like that, then it was a fantastic investment. Yeah, it's just, it gets weird whenever you're dealing with sponsors and stuff like that, and you're not getting those, because I know a lot of agreements, they'll require you to have the insurance and the permits and stuff along those lines, but I'm just talking about from a cost standpoint, not even what it is that everybody's doing. It's just like, if you are going the permitting route and all that other stuff, if you're trying to do everything by the book or, you know, at least mitigating that stuff, it's, it's, it's, it's super expensive. It's super expensive. So yeah, if you, if you do stuff guerrilla style, it's real easy to do,

you know, you just pretend like you aren't about to show it to a bunch of people, including law enforcement. But what you have to do, because you are doing that, is you have to dot your I's and cross your T's 100%. And the sponsors are as big of a concern as Johnny Law coming to knock in. It's both things. I think Kyle and I are little exceptions to the rule. I think Kyle and I are little exceptions to the rule, whereas if I were making motorcycle videos and I was doing GoPro videos in a 55 and I went 56, I'd probably upload that.

I'd be like, okay, cool, whatever. Do you follow the MotoVlog community at all? A little bit here and there. We just did a doc. 55 and 56, holy smokes. These guys are doing wheelies in front of cops. They're running. Oh, no. Totally. they're going ham on it and i suspect they're like you know what i make a whole

living off this if i pay 200 a year in fines that's a reasonable expense totally and i i completely understand that but whenever you're dealing with the atf and um and and federal law it's like you you can get buried really quick especially if somebody's got a um an agenda for you or anything like that it's like that's that's where it's like if i if i mess up with the faa when it comes to which i have had some run-ins with in wingsuiting and some of the stuff that I've done and everything. And I legit had to get attorneys involved. I had to say, look, we went through the regs on this. Everyone felt that we did everything by the book.

If you guys want to litigate it, we're ready to go. What was the accused violation? So, when I did a wingsuit video where I dropped the iPhone, we went through the regulations and it says to drop anything from an aircraft, you have to take reasonable safety precautions or reasonable safety precautions must be considered to drop anything from an aircraft per FAA regulation blah, blah, blah, blah. And so it keeps going through it about different things here and there. But that was really the most specific line item about that. And so we took reasonable safety precautions.

We had a pre-flight safety brief. We didn't fly over any open roads or any buildings or anything along those lines. In the event of an emergency situation, I flew with a phone in my left hand so I could deploy my parachute with the right. And we thought about all those different things. Now, there are a few things that we didn't do or whatever, but, you know, they pushed back on it and everything. And we're like, look, you know, it says to drop anything from an aircraft, reasonable safety precautions must be considered. Well, I wasn't in an aircraft, and we took reasonable safety precautions, so I'm not under a phage. All you wanted to do was get a sky selfie of yourself and your prized award-winning pumpkin up in the sky.

I think it was the way I edited the video. And then you accidentally dropped it because the wind is erratic. accidentally dropped it because the wind is erratic like yeah the way i edited the video did come across as um you know a little more drama than there was like uh you know i i parked on the side of the road and then i was there i walked over to it boom i'm there it didn't show the 30 minutes of looking for the phone in the field on find my iphone or anything it just it seemed like it was right by the road. And I think that's what they got upset about. Um, but, and, and again, like, you know, if, if somebody like, uh, Casey or Jesse or somebody

along those lines, uh, you know, they went through that stuff and they had some type of, you know, argument or whatever, where it's like, Hey, no, we're like not flying in this class airspace. You know, we did this or whatever. I get it. But I'm surprised half of those drones even fly in those areas because they're based off of GPS and everything. And I think that's a known thing between DJI and 3D robotics.

And I think they've already started restricting certain airspace. So if Casey or whoever is flying their drone in new york and they're not allowed to do that how if like a cop sees it do they have to like snapshot it is there like a special kind of cop who i can see a number on the side or do they just like follow it back to the internet oh yeah that probably gets them in trouble right right quick yeah yeah that's the commercial part See, if he hadn't uploaded the video, it would have been much cheaper fine. Of course. And I would imagine, if you're going to

fly your drone illegally around New York, I think you've got to register those things. I don't know a ton about drones. Yeah. But I wouldn't want anything on it that tied it back to me. Because, I mean, maybe you're filming the Statue of Liberty, and then it goes erratic

and hits a lady in the head, and she dies. Let's say that happens. That's not my fault. That was a software malfunction, despite the fact that I wasn't supposed to be flying it here at the Statue of Liberty. Yeah, you don't want Myers Mobile in a detail on the side. No! I carved my initials on the side in the last four of my socials

or something. Or, this is what would actually happen, like, when they go and play the recording, it starts off with me looking at the GoPro like, yeah, I got it. Yeah, yeah, it's good. It's off now. And it's like five minutes of me talking thinking it's off or something. Yeah, that's what would happen. Yeah, I wouldn't want anything that tied that drone back

to me necessarily if I'm flying around. But even smarter, you'd hire someone else to do the illegal flying, right? Yeah, no that like i purchased this footage i had nothing to do with the flying uh this footage was brought to me i purchased it from a third party you'll need to find him uh mr gregory i believe he said he was going back to canada last time i saw him just put an end to it there. That's my long way of saying stuff's expensive to make. It's time to tell everyone about the Dollar Shave Club.

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That's how we pick our advertisers. I have a drawer full of those cassettes, full of blades. I could save a monkey man if I needed to. Like, I have dozens and dozens of those cassettes, full of blades. I could save a monkey man if I needed to. Like, I have dozens and dozens of those blades. I will never run out. And they work really well. I'm a big fan. And in the ad read, it mentioned that weighty handle.

That really is a thing. I like that. The handle to the razor, which is the part you keep, of course. The executive, I think, is the weightier one. It feels like you've got something in your hand, whereas a little Bic razor feels like you snap the thing and throw it away. Yeah, you feel like you have a little more control, more traction, with that weight dragging across.

I mean, Richard's looking a little scruffy. Maybe he doubles down on the sponsors for this job. Who knows? I don't know. I don't know. I've had this white trash stuff going for about a year now. I'm kind of keen on it now. It's funny. I just wear these different faces and the different things that I do, I guess. I was clean shaving forever. So maybe I'll use it like start shaving my head before too long. head before too long that's something i've thought about like i like as you get older you watch lots of your friends start to go bald and sometimes it's way sooner than you think where you're just like oh shit like my buddy's going bald and we're both yeah 26 and so you know my friends in that

age group of like 24 to 30 or whatever like a lot of them are starting to lose their hair and i'm waiting now to see when some of them decide to make that leap to get rid of the island and just go whole shaved head like when for you guys would that be like what do you this is hypothetical for you because it's not gonna happen uh i i feel like an island is a terrible look. I don't think there's much you can do with an island. What's an island? That's when you've got hair here, but as male pattern baldness sets in, it can kind of move forward.

So you've got this unicorn horn. Maybe you just style it. I don't know. Just a thought. Just throwing it out there. Really long. If you have an island, fucking go bald.

Go bald. Just cut it down yeah at least like the the middle ground there where if they have that patch that's like this and then there's nothing and they have the hair further back it's like just get rid of that front patch like you're holding on way too hard if i look though then you've got the bald center with the the horseshoe male pattern baldness thing but then i look at them and I say, that person is balding. But if they have that little soul patch that should be here, but it's up here,

you're like, this guy really is overestimating. Yeah, he's really overestimating the girthiness of these strands of hair and how much acreage they're covering. Because you can almost see the denial as the comb strokes get longer. And you keep going, maybe I just didn't put as much gel in it today.

That's why I look so thin. I'm told going bald is really traumatic. People make a big deal out of it, but it's really common. It's super common. And to other people, they see someone going bald and they just go, whatever. That happens to half of men.

Don't care. But to people losing their hair, it's a big deal. it does age them yeah i can tell for sure what if your teeth fell out like that oh what if all of a sudden like everything was going fine and one day you know fully healthy it's not like you're doing anything bad to your teeth you brush them twice a day and then one day you're eating your morning cereal and one of them's in the fucking bowl and you're like that's a million times worth because your teeth have that like yeah they do stuff came right, slid right out.

Hair is purely decorative. Yeah, well, I totally get the hair thing because like that's again, like the jump back on that conversation was like, that's why I took Propecia for so long was like I didn't want to lose. You didn't want to lose the hair? Show it off. A little bit. A little bit. Okay. Kind of.

Kind of the hairlines kind of retreating back there yeah um but you know i and so i took that i took that probably for a good eight years maybe nine uh nine years and it worked i mean it definitely worked i mean the idea is that you prevent your body from creating DHT so that it doesn't start hair loss or accelerate it. And the way they sell you on is it needs to be preventative, right? Because, you know, you can't go backwards. And so I took it preventatively and it seemed to work for a long time. But when you're screwing with your body's hormones, you're stopping the testosterone from doing what it needs to be done. And so that's why I started retaining water, started gaining weight. I'd still work out and still exercise and eat somewhat healthy.

And I was just gaining weight like crazy. And after a while, I started thinking about it. I was like, okay, well, you know, I'm not really doing the Hollywood thing like I thought I was going to do. You know, I no longer was doing stand-up. I was no longer really doing the comedy stuff with Totally Sketch and everything.

It's like, I don't really, I mean, I'm fine with being in the entertainment industry, being a host or a personality, having a good time, but I don't want to try to be something that I'm not. I get people, you do have hair or whatever, and you're just trying not to lose it, so you're not necessarily being somebody else by getting implants or whatever. But I just, I couldn't justify my health for my looks. And I know some people will, I mean, but at the end of the day, I saw how my health was deteriorating. I was like, yeah, you know what? This is my executive decision on my health. Like, am I, do I really care about the other people's perception of me or do I care about how I feel?

really care about the other people's perception of me or do I care about how I feel and you chain is the is an even bigger uh side of that uh Taylor's a big proponent of Accutane because he was one of the lucky ones who didn't either kill himself I took it once and I heard about like all the suicide and stuff because of acne and and I I was probably like I think I was 15 or 16 I took one pill and you're supposed supposed to take one a month or something like that. I was like, man, I just saw changes in my behavior and body and everything. I was like, no! You take one of those. You get a week into your Accutane regimen.

First of all, the package that they gave you these, I took this and took Accutane eighth grade. Twelve layers? Yeah. And first of all, the package that they gave you these, I took this and like took action like eighth grade. So 12 layers. Yeah. Like it was like a big and all it had was pictures of pregnant women, like probably 600 pictures of pregnant women on every package with just enormous X's through all of it. Like, do not even get this pill close to a pregnant woman. You fuck. They don't kill that little kid. They don't kill it.

Like, we're even close. No, it doesn't kill it. Or it's going to make it a little children of thalidomide with a third arm or like some mangled nose. Within one week of taking that stuff, your whole body is just crispy. Your skin is just so dry

it's flaking. Your lips, you have those Frodo at the end of the movie lips where he's on Mount Doom and he's just screaming at the screen just fucking lick your lips if anything let Sam lick your lips the touch of grass

the taste of bread you know the whole thing but that you start getting nosebleeds my nosebleeds slowed down probably 5 years ago but from the age of like 14 to 21 it would just be like, oh, it's winter time. So I'm going to get at least like three out of nowhere nosebleeds

that are bad throughout the course of this. I'd just be sitting around. Is that tied to that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It may cause chronic nosebleeds because- I used to get them all the time and I had no idea why, but I only took one pill. Then it shouldn't be from that but it it definitely dries you out but uh as far as acne is concerned it delivers it knocks that acne out like i'll be i'll be paying for it and i don't know 40 years we're not doing a good job we're not doing a good job like we're like look don't take that hair loss stuff it totally works but it'll fuck you up don't don't take that acne stuff it. It totally works, but it'll fuck you up. Don't take that acne stuff.

It totally works, but it will cook your body. True. But guess what? Nobody can see on the insides what sort of shit's going on. They just see the outside. And so it's always important to make sure your outside looks like what you want. He's saying something funny right now he's saying something clever yeah i don't know that that was a it was a good pill though like the doctor when i was getting

it prescribed to me literally said uh to my mom he was like you know this would this like it's gonna get rid of his acne but it's gonna be like dropping a nuclear bomb on a 7-eleven robbery and i was like uh and they were like do you really want to go through with it like with the potential side effects and i'm like yes i'm fucking 14 and i hate having any pimples whatsoever and i can't get out of my own head just like every kid at that age like you are you always like think that every other like eighth graders looking at you judgingly but every other eighth grader is so deep in their own head because you're all in fucking eighthth grade. You don't know

you're not paying attention to anything. You have no awareness. Maybe though you were the only 8th grader with big pimples because you were like 16 year old puberty at the time. Yes. Yeah, they could have just said like, it's fortunate there was no rumor started. Taylor's actually 4 years older than us. He was

adopted from Romania and he was in a bear circus. I have this police shooting video here, and a little background. I don't know that this is the video that I watched last night. The one I watched last night had a, it had a host, if that makes sense, and he was kind of describing to you what went on as it went on, but this is a very bad man being chased by the Oklahoma State Patrol, I think. And the man has killed several people already, people he didn't need to kill. When he carjacks a car, he killed a woman. Like every step of the way, he's killed like four or five people already.

He's armed and dangerous. He has an AK in his car and the Oklahoma State Police is chasing him. And he employs a method that I have always wondered why it doesn't happen because I've contemplated it myself. Why don't you just throw that AR up on the fucking dash and let him have it through the windshield? And now we get to see what actually happens. Is there a time stamp

we should be at? See how it goes? Yeah, I think we need to watch most of this. Most of this? Most of this. Just a second. All right, let me find you a better video. Because there's another version of this that has a man explaining.

And he even puts a timer on the bullet. As the bullets are coming out, he's got a counter. I think it's the Justice counter. Oh, Jesus. This is an interesting thing, though, because I think we've all wondered why they don't do that in movies or in real life. It's like, just prop the gun up there

and start firing as you go. It's loud, and there's a lot of dust. When you shoot a windshield, it makes a lot of dust. And it's not a happy kind of dust. But other than that... But he's a guy running from the law, so it's like you've got to pull out all the stops or you're done, right?

He pulls them out and it works just fine. I wish I could find... He's Michael Vance. I guess the one I sent will work. I'm looking around this video. You can see the clip starting at like 24 seconds. Yeah, are we going to queue up and watch, or are you playing it? I'm flexible. I'm waiting.

The camera got super dark, but anyway, I'm just waiting for you guys to call the ball. Yeah, I'm trying to find a spot in this video where it looks like it gets bananas. Yeah, let's go to find a spot in this video where it looks like it gets bananas. Yeah, let's go to... Here's the spot. Let's go to a minute and 40. Okay. All right, I'm good. Okay. I'm there. Are we ready?

Yep. Ready, set, play. So the top part of the camera is the suspect, of course, and then there's a rear-facing camera. The officer's grabbing his AR-15 from the back seat right now. There are sparks shooting off the back of this fleeing crim's car. Yeah, it's already hit spike strips. Oh, spike strips. Oh, the cop's shooting forward. That's what you meant.

Oh, I thought the criminal was going to be doing the shooting. No, this... You see the glass dust filling the smoke filling the car? Yeah, he's shooting through his own front windshield. Yeah, he's hitting the hood. He's hitting the glass. He's hitting the inner dash. He don't care.

Now, doesn't the bullet deflect when it does that? A little bit. It looks like now the car is further away. Yeah, you gotta be low. Roll down the window, bro. It's so dusty in there. Alright, I imagine this being more badass and less clearly dangerous. Oh, this is awesome.

I don't think this is dangerous. This is what I would do if it were me. I don't see any harm in this. I wish he had eye protection on because of all the glass dust and shit. It's so goddamn loud in that car right now. You have no fucking idea. You can't hear it anymore. It's like mouse farts.

Remember that Jurassic Park game where you'd sit there and it would rock around and you'd be shooting forward at all the dinosaurs? This is the real life version of that. Trying to hunt that brachiosaur. Did he see the sparks every now and then? Oh, he's hitting them like every time.

How can you tell? Because it's hard to miss? I feel like if you hit the driver in the head, he would stop driving. Oh, of course. You'd kill him. That's what I'm getting at. Oh, he's shooting a cop. Oh, he's just shooting the car, the trunk, the taillights.

Yeah, like he's not a sniper. He's like, let's see you signal right now, motherfucker. Left turns only. What happens if there's a car oncoming? Or if there's a child three miles down the road? I hear you, but look at this road i feel like he's making a uh a calculated all right so now the top view is a different officer's car the car the car you see the lights you're seeing in the top view is the is the car that the bottom

camera is in ah i see and it looks like they've got him um they've got him stopped he's in the front of the hood of his stopped truck. He left it in neutral, so it's rolling back toward the police officers. He's out in front of his own hood with an AK, walking and shooting back at the police. The police are forming a shooting line right now, and they're about to kill him. Michael Vance. There's like six, seven cops shooting with a mixture of handguns and ARs. Who knew the refrigerating industry had guns in the pan?

One of the cops has full rock and roll on his AR. What is full rock and roll? Automatic. Airwall reporting for the shot. Will you hold off for crossfire? Man. Yeah, you need to hold off for crossfire. You're about to go to a helicopter view at around 54. And you'll see the bullet impacts.

Oh, from the initial chase? No, from what they're doing right now in that firing line. Because you don't really have a good view of anything, right? Just a bunch of cops' backs. So here's the suspect's car. He's about to get out with his AK. Well, this looks like a is shooting this is an absolute maniac right in the

countryside killing half a dozen people in automatic right bring this to like they're going to kill this guy right here the street this is it's pretty hardcore We didn't know he gets out at this point. This is... It's pretty hardcore. Yeah. They said we're going to try and end this.

It feels like they... What I hear is we're going to be judged during an executioner. He's not really surrendering. Look at him. He's returning fire, crouch walking with an AK. Is that what he's doing? Yeah. He looks like a...

A sand Jabba? Whatever's from Star Trek? Is that what he's doing? Yeah! He looks like a sand Jabba? Whatever's from Star Wars, I mean to say. Oh, it is rolling backwards. Yeah, he left that bitch in neutral. It's rolling back toward the cops. I don't think... And now he's going to try to retreat. He lost his cover and... Yeah, what's

about to happen? Now they continue shooting for the rest of the video you gotta be sure now for the next 40 seconds they pump lead into him and the highway you can see the specks hitting if you look closely

see those black spots that's hitting the highway all around him like popcorn going off I could miss that much in the dark, like blasting? Like, who knows? Maybe not with a rifle, but those guys... You said one guy was full auto as well, so, you know, he's...

Oh, yeah, they're fucking pumping rounds into him from handguns and ARs. He's very much riddled. So this guy really just... He really tried to fight off that whole platoon or squad or whatever of cops by himself with an AK. That's someone who decided they're not going to go to prison. I don't think so. I think it's someone who decided that he's not going to go to prison, and he's willing to do any—

if he has to die, then he will, but he won't be taken. And he's willing to kill as many people as it takes to get away. I'm on the same page. I just called that suicide. Yeah. I doubt he wants to die. If he could be like, let's let's take a breather right here like when he's in front of his own truck and he's already been shot twice like

you're right you're right yeah suicide by cop i guess is a kind of person who wants to die without hurting you might even fake guns yeah this guy is is this guy's got fucking bags together he's out there fucking reloading like getting some some more. He's like, 90% chance I'll die, 2% getting... Oh, that's 100 more. 2% chance? He's like, I play a lot of GTA. I know how this is. There's a 3% chance I'll figure math out on the long way.

I can still get out of this. I wonder when the last time he thought that was. I can still get out of this. I wonder when the last time he thought that was. I can still get out of it. Do you think it was as he was going down the highway? Or do you think it was as he was crouch walking towards the police officers behind his rolling truck? And he was going, fuck, fuck. There's got to be another second here. There's got to be an option.

Nope. Could have clutched that. I'm not even kidding. Who among us hasn't 5v1'd once? Absolutely. I clutched a similar scenario last night No, I had grenades. Yeah.

The funny thing to me, and I guess it's not funny in real life, is I play that game Battlegrounds. It's the battle royale game. You know, 100 people drop in on an island and you fight to the death on this huge 20km square island. But when you get out of a vehicle in that game it does the same shit it rolls backwards and i've literally done that like bailed out of my car got in front of the grill and it's rolling toward the enemies and like i've done that before that so it was interesting to see him do that in real life

and see how it would pan out yeah it often pans out the same way in the game, if I'm being honest. Usually just die. Yep. I know we usually have to go on about how America is so great and the other cultures all suck, as we do, obviously seriously. Clearly no taking

in our hearts. With regards to Ireland. Yes, but I was thinking, I was watching YouTube videos about like, it was like Japanese and Slavic and German cultures and shit. Like one of those weird like late night, you're watching shit and you're like, what's happening? What am I doing? And I was finding, I'm trying to find examples of other cultures, shit that we could adopt

and make ours better. I found one from Japan that I'd like to hear feedback on. I think it's very good. So you go out to eat in the United States. You sit down. You look at your menu. Everybody's got to make sure that they know what they're going to order and you fold it up and then you just wait.

You just wait until their convenience to walk over and say, are you ready? Oh, you've been ready for nine minutes and we haven't got your waters yet? Oh, I'm so sorry about that. Same thing when you get your check in the US. you sit there waiting with most of your food finished and then eventually they find their way from talking to their friends and come over and go oh are you done are you done all right let me get that for you and they do it in japan they don't do that in japan it's polite and correct that you announce loudly to people when you want to order and when

you want to pay and other than that the waitresses and the waiters stay out of your business. They won't come over and bother you. You just will go, you know, it was like a video saying like Westerners often think it's rude, but you'll see a Japanese person going like, waiter, I'd like to order now. Or we are ready to leave. Please give us our check. And they bring it over and it's not rude and it's just do like you're getting it just do like the um what are those meat meat places where it's like red or green for meat

or like bubble gum bubble gum shrimp coke where you have the tag that you like flip along the lines of what taylor's saying i i that lots of places, whether they be barbershops or restaurants or whatever, you could choose how interactive your waitress was. Do you like a waitress that comes over all the time, maybe tells a joke, sits in your booth as she takes your order? Yeah. No, that's not my cup of tea. I would like you to be more or less a robot right and by the way if if i'm talking to someone and we're like actively engaged could you fucking observe that right i don't want your fucking 11 year old social interactions you know those of a interrupting child to just be like

hey hey how's your meal yeah we were on a different topic asshole why don't you wait how about that where they do everything but come over and pull on your shirt. Hey, how was it? Are you like, hey, is it good? Is it good? No, just read the room and walk away. Japanese waiters and waitresses apparently do that. I've never been there, but it sounds like a really good system to implement.

You know, Olive Garden has a superior system where they've got a little iPad at your table, and you order and pay it. And the human comes and obeys whatever you put into the iPad, a superior system where they've got a little iPad at your table and you order and pay it. Applebee's too. And the human comes and obeys whatever you put into the iPad and you don't have to make eye contact with them. Yeah, but they try and get you to pay like six bucks to play Snake for 30 minutes and it just, you know, always there's one

person who gets distracted by that stupid game platform on it because they have it at Applebee's. I think they have it at Red Robin too. I didn't know it had that feature that functionality. You get it and yeah, you can hit games on it and so no it at Applebee's. I think they have it at Red Robin too. I didn't know it had that feature that functionality. You can hit games on it and so no matter where you go to eat if there's a group of more than one, one person will be fiddling around with their

iPad of sorts because we're addicted to screens. So I prefer the direct Japanese style approach. Now I've also seen, I think it's Japanese, it's definitely an Asian culture where they have that system where you're sitting at your table and you order and like digitally input it and then like a tram a food size tram comes from the kitchen stops at your table and you just fucking take your food

right there like a little choo-choo train basically is driving your food to your table i've always seen it as uh the way they do it at some like sushi or sushi cafes, whatever they are, where it's not like you order something specific, but they just keep it on the airport conveyor belt luggage thing. You just kind of go up and you pick and you eat what you want. Then at the end, they come by and they go, oh, six a plate or whatever

it is. Then you pay for it. You have red plates, orange plates, and they're all different dollar values and stuff. They count your plates at the end. I get kind of grossed out by buffets and anything where I'm going to a common source of food that others go to, and I'm taking from it just like they would. Like a trough of food, basically. So when I'm at Vegas at one of those big, gigantic buffets or whatever, I'm always hard-scoping, watching for them to bring a new tray of shit out. I want to get first dibs. I want to get in there

before anyone's breathed on it or picked through it or touched too much of the tongue and then put it back in there and there's a little shit under their fingernail and that shit is now on the tongue and I'm going to eat their shit. That's what happens. Most food poisoning is when you eat someone's shit.

That's E. coli. Absolutely true. Yeah, E. coli. Are you going to any of the grocery stores that have those food bars? Especially like the olive bars and stuff like that where it's kind of like a buffet thing, but you can kind of make your own plate. You go in the grocery store and you see some jackass will walk by and just grab a couple and then just keep on shopping.

Dude, come on man did you just reach bare-fisted into that macaroni salad sir he's like no here's the thing i don't like about buffets and i definitely make my way through a buffet at almost walking speed maybe half walking speed some people paused, making their decision for a minute. What the fuck takes so long about scooping slop onto your tray? I'm identifying them in advance. I take one of these, one of these, one of these. Off I go. It's all it takes.

Is it rude to pass people? Because I'll pass, bitch. No, no, no. It's not. It's not rude to pass people at a buffet unless it's the kind of buffet where there's an established queue and it's like people are's not rude to pass people at a buffet unless it's the kind of buffet where there's an established queue and it's like people are waiting for the roast beef guy at the end. Then you gotta wait. But if it's just

some old bitch looking at macaroni and you want the chicken wings next to it, I say hop on by. Fucking check her and get in there and get that macaroni. Check her. Get the last of the macaroni. If you do it, you can make a quick hard movement that would deck an old lady and nobody would even notice you did it. She didn't want to be dead. She wouldn't have got old. If you do it, you can make a quick hard movement that would deck an old lady and nobody would even notice you did it.

She didn't want to be dead. That's all it takes. It's like bird bones. By the time the osteoporosis had kicked in, she should have been reaching for something with calcium in it. You know, another good... I only have two on the list of cultures of things now, but I will find more.

I was hoping this would brainstorm and help you guys. Don't you have a Bible story for us? I do have a Bible story for a bit later. Okay, let's hang on to that one then. The Slavic, oh, for the tease of the Bible story, I think I'm going to tell the whole story of Isaac, Esau, and Jacob, and that whole series

over the course of the next week or so. But another good cultural thing that I saw, I was against it at first when I first discovered this, and I was a bigot, a xenophobe at the Slavic squat, which is Slavic people who squat in their long, adjoining track pants because they don't have benches. Lenin was notoriously anti-bench. People don't know this.

And so you would get down in a squat, and that's what they do to rest instead look at yes Slavic squat if you don't know I'm talking about I thought it was stupid Until I tried it and you know what it's not as bad as Stan. It's actually a little of World War two squatting He probably did you can't just say they squat it Circle and then they land that pictures of Stalin squatting. He's got his elbows up on his knees as they do like that. What is it called? The sorority squat

that those chicks take? No, those chicks do those photos like the sorority squat or something. It's like Stalin and all those dudes just kind of like... I mean, the sorority squat sounds pretty great, too. I bet I'm in favor of that. That's another good culture.

That sounds like a move that I'm very familiar with. I enjoy the sorority squat. The sorority squat. It's better than the duck face, I guess. It sounds like a sexual position. It sounds like a good time. It's not just Slavic people. I'm like 70% sure I'm not making this up right now.

Parts of Asia also do the squat. And when you aggregate those numbers, there's more squatters than non-squatters. Oh, shit. That's like when you figure out what the average human is, and it's like some 33-year-old Chinese man who doesn't own a car. Yeah, and then you look at, like, the global breakdown, and you're like, well, I'll be damned. I'm in the global minority of, like, white guy.

Or, like, tall people. The average human has one testicle and one boob. Yes, very specific minorities. I don't think that's true anymore with the transsexuals. I think a lot of men who are born men have lost the testicle, so now they have zero testicles. You've got to factor that in, but you also have to factor in the amount of fake tits they're getting and the amount of mastectomies going back the other way. Maybe we could rephrase it as the average person has just under one testicle and just under one boob.

or the average person has just under one testicle and just under one boob. No, the easiest way to do it is to say that the median person has two testicles if you're male or the median person has two boobs if you're a woman. That's not interesting at all.

That was known. It's not until you combine the people that it gets cool. No, Woody. We're going to do a third grade lesson where we go through median, mean, and mode, and we talk about it. Does everybody remember that lesson from school? I think that's one of the ones that seemed to stick with everyone.

I'm trying to remember what mode is again. What's mode? The one that appears most often, if I recall correctly. Ah, thank you. That sounds right. And the median is the middlemost number of the range, right? Yes. Yeah, and the mean, of course, is the average.

Which they could have just called average. Yeah, this is a great podcast. No, I'm not Googling it. Go on, go on. It's way off of the formula for first. I need a refresher, quite frankly. Can we start with chapter one, page one? Kyle, what are your favorite parts about Imperial vs. Metric?

Go. Oh, my God. Well, there is the – our penises are bigger than everyone else's unit-wise, of course. We've got that right off the start. No, they'd be bigger still in centimeters. Ah, that's true, right? Nobody knows what a centimeter – yeah, I guess you're – 38 centimeters.

That, I think, is a very big penis. I mean, not as big as mine, but they're still really my god i'm glad richard's here and this came up richard this is kind of funny like like like a month ago like i i was on amazon and i saw i was buying condoms for myself because that's where i buy my condoms and i was like i saw that there were different you know how amazon is with the shopping you can categorize in like a dozen different ways sure and i saw that there was a category of condoms called japan like they had their own kind of condom and i was like what could this even be like why would the japanese need their own tiny tiny finger condoms no way why would they why would they need to keep their thought This is for when you're hitchhiking and it's raining out. No way.

That is hilarious. This bomb is so big our penises never regrow to former size. That's the Japanese magnum? It's awful. Dude, I still am not convinced you didn't order a parody condom

thing. No, this is Japan size Japan size Japan stretch it out all the way well I can show that looks like it's a table in girth. It'll go. It's about as long as my finger It's it's all sticky from the loop. That's a Japanese loop. Yeah, that's maximum. That's all she's got right there If you give your your fist a good pumping are you sliding out or is that pretty grippy on your finger? And that's how babies happen. You would think the Japanese... Now, I'll tell you why this condom broke. I bet that's inherent in the design.

Because I read that the Japanese have a real problem with their population going down, right? They're not making new Japanese people at the... So if you were smart and you were in government, you would really lower the fucking standards of the Japanese condom, right? They're not making new Japanese people at the... So if you were smart and you were in government, you would really lower the fucking standards of the Japanese condom, right? You'd want those things exploding left and right. That's the explanation for those. Pick them as so small, no one can even wear them. It's stuck to the wall. It's like crawling down like a dead caterpillar. I saw this documentary about the fact that like millions of japanese men and women like 20 to 35 are just not fucking like there's a huge number of japanese versions in their 30s

um i don't get it either like you think the biology would just the documentary literally talked about the fact that so many japanese men are more into, is it manga? What- whatever those- whatever the cartoonized, uh- No, it's Naruto. Hentai? Something like that. They- they said they're more into fucking animated chicks and staying in their apartments all day and never ever going outside socializing. That they're now in Japan, have these classes that teach 35 year old men and women how to like... couple. How to court one another like like what relationships

are like because they don't fucking know somebody signed me up for that right immediately i was like i'm gonna go to the fucking land of pinky condoms and just have a fucking i just meant i just meant dating classes yeah yeah i could tell they were coming with this from different directions here the richard is, wait a minute. They teach you how to talk to people off the screen? I would love to slide. I was like, check this out. Come on, bitches, bro.

I'm on Kyle's page. Think about it. If you go into this world, apparently, and of course it's not anything like the extreme the documentary said documentary set i would think because it seems like all documentaries gotta like amp it up or play something down because they're making a fucking documentary but if you go there and there's three times as many girls like out at bars and shit because guys are just at home playing with their pillows or whatever is happening like think about that ratio that's already a killer ratio for you and you look different and so you stand out think about those pillows like i don't know am i the only one that's like what do they have at home that's keeping them away from women and they got sex robots they're keeping them to themselves see but like even that

like i agree with woody i don't get i don't get the thing because i would think that like by the time you're in your mid-20s or whatever even if for a long time you were into your pillow and your uh manga then like eventually be like all right this is really kind of starting to suck i'd rather you know get laid for real and then you'd move away from it like it's shocking that there's a bunch of people in their mid-30s still like sequestering themselves it seems like a whole like a huge problem of agoraphobia like you're afraid of all the social interactions outside your door let's play devil's advocate though i love doing that or you get into your 30s and then you try dating people and you realize the field is not the same as when you were in

your teens because like say you're 18 years old you you get out of high school, level playing field. Pretty much everybody is on the same page. I just graduated high school. Maybe I'm going to go to school. Maybe I'm going to go to college or something. Maybe I'm just going to go straight into work. Cool. We're all kind of on the same page. Get in your early 20s, get in your mid 20s, shit starts changing. So-and-so gets married. They have kids. So-and-so gets into meth. Somebody goes to jail, somebody goes after a career. So many different paths that people go. By the time you get into, say, early 30s or something like that, the route that people could be in are vastly different. When you start dating

people, man, I've met some crazies. I have an inherent ability to attract crazy. And I'm like, well, I can kind of see somebody being like, yeah, it's not worth it. It's not worth it. No one attracts crazy like I attract crazy. You're not even in my league. You seek it out, though. I don't.

I love the crazy. You can get some crazy on board. You can have some fun, man. They don't give a fuck. And they'll do some crazy. You're get some crazy on Ford. You can have some fun, man. They don't give a fuck. And they'll do some crazy. You're always on your toes, right? You come home and like, you know, they, I won't even go into it, but it's crazy shit. I won't even go into it because that statute of limitations is not up.

No. Like this CNN article. You and I are different in that you, you're like crazy is awesome because crazy in the bed. And then I'm like, crazy is awful because crazy in the bed and then i'm like crazy is awful because crazy calls the cops yeah no that's what i'm talking about crazy i'm talking about real crazy not sex crazy i'm talking about crazy too i'm talking about like ridiculous crazy shit that that people bring into your lives from from theirs and then now it's part of your problem and and just people who act in ways that are completely counterintuitive and you can't even

put the fucking equation together after they've done the thing. You go back to them and you're like, there was A and there was B. And then you went to Q. What the fuck? How do we get to Q? You are so broadly specific right now that you have to give us an example of one of the – I can't tell that one. I just can't. I got some that aren't mine that I can't

tell. Just bad stuff. You know, bad stuff. Just all kinds of bad stuff. You know. I'm not going to go into it. Well, when they start conversations with themselves via text message, that's definitely a problem that I've ran into where it's kind of scary.

Where it's like, hey, I work. And sometimes I'm in areas that don't have cell phone service. And I really, like, I'm a guy who juggles, like, three jobs. So I'm not really looking to play the field with like five or six chicks. I'd like to be in like a monogamous, monogamous relationship with one person because that's enough, enough work as it is. And so because I'm not answering the phone does not mean I'm out with somebody.

It means I'm working. And so, so you don't need to go down that crazy thread of talking to yourself in, in text. I just can't deal with it. Oh, she's messaging you, but having a

conversation a totally one-sided conversation i guess you're well i guess you're just too busy right now to pick up your phone or maybe you're too busy fucking some whore i wouldn't expect you to answer but it's not like i made you dinner last night or like whatever like is this just the text equivalent of like the cell five where you know like it's the text equivalent of like you come in on your own of one person is just arguing at them so basically rich would be saying he'd leave his phone out and three hours later he comes back and there's a litany of messages like 12 new ones all the same side of the conversation all there's 50 different questions in there now so where do you begin

you see the regression and like the evolution of the conversation within itself where it's like it starts out with a question I don't know it could be like hey you want to go get dinner later and it ends up like regressing well I guess you don't want to talk right now or whatever and it's like the insecurity starts coming out and all this other stuff it's like oh okay and then like it just goes all the way

to anger and I'm like I think your standards are crazy or quite low that doesn't sound that crazy to me that's something that I might do especially if I'm going for thing where i can start answering your side and you know like oh when he reads this he's gonna laugh okay no but he's immediately the whole time i'm hearing that story about this crazy person i'm like well what kind of weapon was she holding yeah here's the thing like i know crazy crazy will research and find just about everything that i do so they'll probably reference this so i don't want crazy to understand that i was talking about them

she already does that's part of my no but if they're crazy no matter what they're gonna think they're talking that you're talking about it yeah i i could say something like uh like crazy girls self-harm, and I could be talking about four or five different girls. It's nice. It's a whole thing. This CNN article was pretty interesting. It's 40% of millennials are virgins,

men and women. Yeah, this stat says that between the ages of 18 and 34, Japan. Yeah, in Japan. Ages of 18 to 34, 42% of males are virgins and 44. Japan. Yeah, in Japan. Age is of 18 to 34. 42% of males are virgins and 44.2% of females are virgins.

That's 18 to 34. That's an enormous percentage of people. But if virgins are your fetish, holy shit. Talk about a target-rich environment. Or a lot of liars. That's also a possibility. It's weird that that society that's completely full of virgins it seems is also the one that makes all the weirdest porn with the tentacle

stuff and bitches snorting like eight loads of cum out of a bed to be expected like i could go both ways on that i could see where you're coming from like why are these virgins going so i think it's weird with their kinks? Because think about the Germany. It makes sense for the Germans to have all that BDSM porn. It's a role they're comfortable with. They've been getting beat up on for fucking generations, right?

Phrasing it as they've been getting beaten up on, I think, is an unfair representation of the wars that they started. They have been targeted! We are tired of being victimized! All of the reading I've done really frames it that way.

So I'll just have to look for some outside sources, I guess. To your point about the porn thing, I know it's a thing that a bunch of crazy, tentacle porn and whatnot comes out of Japan, but at the end of the day, do you really think that's an enormous group of their population, their young people watching that crazy cartoon porn? Or is most people watching normal porn, even though they have pixelated genitals, like the people porn?

Well, they probably have statistics and analytics. It always seems like even in Japan it was more niche-y. I think the live action porn is more for us and the uh the animated stuff is what they're into i just don't get it like what you could have the real thing that's on the internet too but the real thing isn't good enough the animated version is perfection it's it's literal superhuman perfection that's an interesting way to look at it or it could be something like tie into like different points and times in their life like like like cartoon

porn or whatever in general like where um you know it might resonate with somebody when you're a kid yeah right where it's like maybe maybe you're into like snow white getting banged by seven dwarfs. You know what? I bet Rule 34 on that. You never heard of me, did you? Come here, bitch. The eighth dwarf. The eighth dwarf spanky who's just all geared up

with BDSM and leather. He's got that fucking motorcycle hat. Comes waddling in. He's two foot eight. He's got the fucking pow stay away from herpy this is herpy and itchy i mean i mean but see that's not fair because you just made a very very interesting like cartoon porn that you might just want to watch just for the sake of seeing what a bunch of cartoon dwarves look like going at Snow White. But at the same time, I need to see research on the breakdown with these Japanese people of how many are watching the cartoon porn and how many are watching the pixelated genital porn.

Does porn get gayer when you add more and more guys to it? Depends what kind of guys. What's the ratio? Well, apparently this is 7 to 1. You know, like, 8 to 1 of spankies there. Well, they're dwarves, so it's only technically half of a person.

Maybe 3 on 1. 3.5 to 1. Fucking math. I know, right? At first it was me. I'm glad I'm not alone. I couldn't add 99 plus 1. 99% chance this is going to happen, but there's a slight 2%

that an outcome could go awry. That's because we here at Woodworth International, we give 101% effort. You're trying to redeem yourself. You want to skip to 45 minutes. I'm not sure what kind of root vegetable that is that midget just pulled out of her snatch but i'm interested that's hilarious what did you say how long into it this is an hour long it's a fucking movie snow white and the seven dwarves who fuck her oh there's a lot of sex it's not all you know she's she's she gets around I'm going to this root vegetable

either I wasn't so I can't show you this video it's long and you can't see it in the reflection of my golden play button so that's the thing then it looks like all I can see is like this like yeah yeah just very briefly it's it's this one here that you want to be looking at yeah what you want to do go to porn hubs no white and seven dwarves there you go you got like an hour long vegetable she's she's sucking on like the end of a an unripe rutabaga or whatever the fuck that is it's like a three foot long that's bad dragon couldn't come up with this she's she's being instructed on what to do with it by this dwarf.

Actually, he has a small head so he would be a midget, not a dwarf. I'll be writing about that. I would like to see some midget fisting, right? Because I would imagine that a midget's fist... I gave them mixed up between the dwarves and the little people or maybe the two different kinds.

Which one is the one that has the softest fingers? Oh, and the other six of them are just there watching. Of course, yeah, they're there. I think I'm a little ahead of you, and she is struggling with the size of this vegetable. Oh, it's huge! Yeah. So weird. Those dwarves are not very hung. I mean, she's got to go to that tuberous

vegetable. Tuberous. Tuberous. I like that word. I'm confused. If you go forward, did we skip over to the evil witch's place? I think we did. I'm confused. If you go forward, did we skip over to the evil witch's place? I think we did. I'm not. Now all of the dwarves are moving around in slight unison, clapping as she's trying to penetrate herself with this vegetable,

and I'm half expecting a deer head to poke in through the window and start singing about what's happening here. Who made it 45 minutes into this? Oh, I've seen it like eight times. about what's happening here. Who made it 45 minutes into this? I, um... Oh, I've seen it like eight times. What was the budget for this? He's really getting in there deep, eh? Look at his nasty teeth while he's eating that pussy.

That's the worst visual ever. He's got, like, these yellow teeth with gaps between every one. If you skip to 51 minutes... Ah! Is that the dwarf eating your pussy? Yeah, he's wearing the little red stocking cap, Kyle. Ah, that's funny. That's really cute.

Ah, man. It's just like the other ones are there to tear it down. This would be so fucked. What if you took... There aren't video stores anymore, but like... What if you took an actual copy of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and you just snuck like... 8 seconds of this in there. Just 8 seconds right in the middle of the real Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. Like just the part where the dwarf's like he's got that tuberous thing and he's explaining to her that she needs to put it in her pussy

and it'll feel good. She's like, in my pussy? Yes, in your pussy! And then she like sticks it... that part. Oh, they don't... dude, this program continues on disc two is how this video ends. This is only the first half of this epic. Oh, man, it's a whole fucking series. You got to get the box set and then you can really enjoy. You want the behind the scenes stuff. There's another one that's 111 minutes long.

I think it has the whole thing. Jesus Christ. This is like, how many times as these dwarves and this woman are making this video, do you have to just, like, project yourself out of your body? Like you're a soldier in battle.

There's just no way that that woman is sitting there. I'm just doing what I gotta do to get me home and my friends home. That's all I was there for. She's gotta have people having flashbacks like an image of her at eight years old, when they're like, what do you want to do, Samantha? I'm going to grow up, and I'm going to be the first woman mayor of New York or whatever,

and then now she's sucking a bunch of dwarf dicks. And she hasn't made it up to that first. Man, that made me more sad than interested. She doesn't speak English, Taylor. She was never going to be the mayor. No, it was muted. I didn't actually listen. Oh, it's not in English speak English, Taylor. She was never going to be the mayor. No, it was muted. I didn't actually listen. It's not in English.

I didn't listen long enough to zero in, but if I had to take a wild guess, I would say Germany. You know who was stoked about this? Seven lucky dwarves. Damn right. The other six were like, this is lame. He got Spanky over there eating that pussy for 20 minutes.

When do we get in there? The other ones are like, hey, can I go to craft services? Get like something to eat. I'm going to become an Oompa Loompa like Larry. Carnival wages have stagnated for far too long. We need to find new work. Don't get my feeding ass in kibble and ice elevator meat. This is dark.

I've got nothing against little people either. I have a new topic. Oh, this one is fantastic. Have you guys seen this video, the alternate ending of Toy Story 3 prank? Yeah, I've seen it. It's kind of like what I was suggesting, the seven dwarves thing.

Yeah, a little edit. Yeah, that's what spurred it. Can we watch it? So I have it timestamped to a minute and 19 seconds here yeah and uh or is this going to break it down pretty uh so for people that don't know there's a scene in toy story where all the uh toys are in like an incinerator and it looks hopeless like it doesn't look like there's any way to get out they're all in this like sea of garbage going towards a... It looks like a pit of lava or something.

I'm sure it's an incinerator. And you don't know how there's any way they could get out. In the real movie, they get rescued. But in the prank, it goes like this. Are you guys ready? Yeah. All right. Ready, set, play. ready yeah yeah all right ready set play

so they're showing it to their mom who's never seen this movie before the toys just kind of hold hands and accept their death The dust in the crates. Was that it? That's not it. And the mom can't believe that Toy Story 3 ends this way. Isn't that sad? Isn't that the saddest ending in any Disney movie ever? Yes!

Aww. Isn't that sad? How could you make me watch that? Dude, this video goes on. The next morning, she still hasn't been let in on the prank or anything. Friendly and friends are coming around, and they're talking about it. I paused it, but it's the greatest prank that I can think of. And like Taylor says, it's one of those pranks where at the end,

you're just like, yeah, you got me. Now I know the truth you really know what the scumbag version of this is it's those fake lottery tickets that people give people it's like they give you a lottery ticket to scratch off and you think you've won 20 million dollars better not give me that shit i'd be able to 20 million well i hate all of you i hate all. I've been wanting to say this for 15 years, you cunt. Like this. They're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down a minute. No, no, no. I'm letting it all out.

I'm never coming back into this piece of shit shell station ever again. You know. Hold on, Jim. Hold on. Hold on, Jim. You actually look at the camera. You're on Channel 5 Evening News. Look at whatever the fuck you're doing.

I want to apologize right now for that 18-minute rant about the Jews and the Zionists I just went on. I really thought that I wasn't going to have you to be in work tomorrow, so Mr. Friedman, if you're watching this, I'm just very apologetic right now.

Like, this prank is good because it's fair and it's funny and nobody's hurt in the end the lottery ticket one is also fair in my mind because if you like you if someone gives you a lottery ticket out of nowhere and you scratch it and you think you won and you believe them you're a rube you're the kind of person that would have given away a cow for a hill of beans you're that idiot you're that you're that stupid if you take your lottery ticket and you go oh hunky dory it looks like someone's not having a work anymore elaborate they're elaborate pranks so what they'll do is they'll record the news reading off the numbers and they'll buy those numbers and and for you like you know there are people who like they're like yeah buy my lottery ticket and and they like get a ticket every week so here's their ticket in

hand and they watch the newscasters say seven eight nine and they're get a ticket every week so here's their ticket in hand and they watch the newscasters say seven eight nine and they're just like yeah yeah yeah and they think they've won like one of those mega millions or something because you know they just bought a ticket with the same numbers the day before because they're eddie because they're stupid oh come on you wouldn't believe it like if somebody had the ticket in hand and the newscaster read it all? No, no, I would not believe it if I had a ticket given to me. And then there's like some rigmarole of like, hey, now you watch the news and I'm going to be right here. I'm going to be right here filming you inconspicuously.

I don't know if the news is playing it. It's on TV. Yeah, you're picturing a scenario like what happened to you because you don't regularly purchase lottery tickets. But poor stupid people all the time, man, like every week, like dozens of them. They spend all their money on these things. That's why they call it the stupid tax. And they're waiting every week. They know the guy who reads the numbers.

They're sitting there waiting, and, you know, the numbers come up. They think they've won the mega millions. And somebody's like, nah, Dad, you're still poor. That's a shitty prank. Is there any purchase more dumb than a lottery ticket well it's funny that you were you were talking about that because i was going to bring this up earlier and it was a weird segue into financial stuff and and everything but um so do you guys keep up with crypto any yeah so i stopped i stopped i stopped cryptocurrency kind of gambling gambling uh i guess you could say like blackjack and um and football and stuff along those lines uh several

years ago and then i was like well uh like i just it's just too too weird for me like to spend money in like 10-15 minutes and be done i like the kind of longer term kind of oh let's see what's going to happen like the the playing aspect of it so i started uh getting into bitcoin and stuff like that um you know over the last few years and everything and i am blown away in the last couple months and just how everything's went through the roof. Did you make a lot of money? Made a pretty big chunk, yeah. Nice.

Good for you, man. Well, the funny thing is, so my buddy who got married last weekend, he does real- life trolling stuff and and so he's he's very very um persistent about not faking pranks and stuff like that he's very outspoken about it and just just as uh an idea of what he does and everything like he streamed his his wedding reception live and everything and he's like oh i'm so thankful that you know you guys could be here with me and experience our our happy day together and everything and blah blah blah like five seconds into the stream like he like people set gifts there in front of the camera and so the stream you're just barely

hearing everything going on so he's blocking it and everything. But he's really big into cryptocurrency and stuff too. And he's like, man, Ethereum is like, it's doing so well right now. He's like, it's going to shoot up. It's going to shoot up. And I was just going to troll him. I was like, all right, well, I'm going to put my entire savings into it before your wedding. uh, I'm going to, I'm going to put my entire savings into it before your wedding. And if it goes up during, during it, then it'll be a good sign for your wedding. Uh, and if by the end it's

gone down, it's a bad sign, which they wouldn't let me transfer a large portion of money into the, the wallet. But, uh, I did a little bit here and there and, and uh and it's like in just a few days it's super scary because how volatile it was going up but it's up like 40 like maybe 20 25 to 40 percent in just a few days um and you have five good sign for the wedding what's that you have five digits in this four digits in this uh i don't want to say. Seven digits. I don't want to say. I'm weird about money and stuff like that. That's crazy.

Not even close. Not even close. Hard to gauge whether you just made enough money to go out drinking or enough money to buy a bar. No. I'm going to use that expression someday that's funny that's funny there is no fuck you money in this and that's for sure that's for sure but it's it's just always interesting because the way way i look at especially different types of

like cryptocurrencies and stuff like that is like where i don't want to i don't want to ever invest um a big chunk of money into something that i would be um hurt by losing right where it's like you if you feel it then it's like maybe i shouldn't have done that where it's like just like furio said in sopranos after that club owner bet on the football game and then lost his club to Adriana. Bet with your head, not over it. So if you bought bitcoins for $10 five years ago and you're like, hey, I'm just going to play around. Every month I'm going to put $50 in instead of I don't smoke or something like that. So maybe the average smoker maybe spends 50 to 100 bucks a month on that. All right, I'll put 100 bucks into Bitcoin. That's 10 Bitcoins. Well, if you bought

10 Bitcoins for $10, then you're looking at around $25,000 right now. That's a risky way to break up your funds too, where you're like, all right, well, I don don't smoke so that's an extra $100 a month I have. I don't do heroin that's an extra $300. I'm not an alcoholic that's an extra $200 I don't have. Oh I don't have this and that. I rarely go motorbiking. So I can definitely afford this. The way I look about gambling money

and stuff along those lines is more entertainment expenses and not investment expenses. Is a lottery ticket still a dollar i don't even know yes like the their advertising campaign campaign used to be like the most fun you can get for a dollar yeah and uh it's like yeah so if you're doing it as an investment obviously it's not a good investment but neither are. No, I see it kind of that same way as far as like, you know,

like stockings. A lot of the time in your stockings, you'll get lottery cards or at least I do in my stockings. You'll get like the, yeah, like the Christmas stockings, like $5. I haven't worn stockings since I was on the swim team.

Not those stockings, Christmas stockings, but you get those like $2, $1, $5 scratch off tickets. And it's fun for a little bit. And then maybe you win you get those $2, $1, $5 scratch-off tickets, and it's fun for a little bit, and then maybe you win a little bit of money. But you're right.

There's a difference between that and being like, all right, today's the day. I got my fucking Social Security check, and I'm going to parlay this into a bunch of money through this wacky seven hearts. Do you know anyone who's ever won a significant amount of money in the lottery? I don't. Do you? So my neighbor, when I was growing up, she won either five to eight million, somewhere in there.

Dang. And she was a pretty poor lady with a bunch of kids. So many kids. And it seemed like her kids had kids, and they were just everywhere in this big house they owned. And I remember it was in all of the papers. The first thing they did is they all went to Walmart. And every member of the family got a cart and she said have fun you know and this is like 30 kids just running through walmart like whatever the fuck you want it's yours and she

didn't get crazy with the money she donated her house to the church um and it became a church and then they moved like 40 minutes away to like a normal house and As far as I know, she's still okay. Then my dad won $5,000 on a scratch-off one time. Once at work, I had two co-workers who constantly were buying lottery tickets. They actually asked me if I wanted to go

in with them when they were buying these tickets. Like, you won't want to? They won $15,000. But one guy couldn't claim the money because his ex-wife was gonna get it i think so like he had the other guy claim his money and they did some kind of splitteroo sneaky business but but yeah i've known a few people who won it's it's when you see somebody win you're like ah did i just miss that investment opportunity no that's not how it works no yeah. You got to look at it as entertainment money.

Cause that definitely like, that's, I think how people get caught up into gambling addictions and, and, and things along those lines. Cause it's like, Oh man, I could have, I could have bought this or could have paid that off. And it would have been like a good, a good, good thing if I did that. And for me, I always look at it as like, I just lost this money. Let's have some fun. For me, I always look at it as like, I just lost this money. Let's have some fun. Um, you know, like let's play blackjack for a few hours when it's gone, it's gone. Then great. If you know, we're ready to call it a night or something like that, then we walk away with more money. Great. You know, but, uh, I never look at it as, as something that I'm going to get back. So having said that, I won't, I won't spend a significant amount of money, uh, to the point

where I would, I would feel it. I've only been to a casino once ever to gamble, and I only brought like 50 bucks. And I did the roulette a couple of times, and then I did – or not roulette, whatever the – or maybe it is roulette, the thing where you do like black or red. Yeah. Yeah, I did that a couple of times, and I did blackjack. ball yeah yeah i did that a couple times and i did blackjack and uh and at the end of it i just kind of was like playing like i'll just keep going until i have no money left because this is my 50 entertainment for the night and on the it got to the point where like i just was almost like oh my god like there's only five dollars left all right let's just when i let's get this hand over with so

i'll be done like it i don't know i don't have the gambling bug i like it a lot it depends on the game like it's not the gambling it's the game that i like like like i don't know. I don't have the gambling bug. I like it a lot. It depends on the game. It's not the gambling. It's the game that I like. I don't want to just bet money. Is blackjack not fun? I'm not into blackjack. That's just not my thing. Or craps. I did one of those too. I didn't know it was happening at all.

Poker, Texas Hold'em was always my thing. Whenever I go to Vegas, I sit down and play I buy in for $500 or $1,000 or something and just play as long as I can play. That's fun. You don't lose your money if you just sit there and play tight. Sometimes youin for 500 or 1,000 or something and just play as long as I can play. That's fun. You don't lose your money if you just sit there and play tight. And sometimes you'll make a little money. Everybody's there playing really tight most of the time.

It can be a boring game. But you sit there for four hours and you can make a little money. I've played roulette before. We were in Chicago and we found some kind of maybe a tribal casino or something out there and we went to it and uh and and on the way there we're talking like what are we going to do when we get there because like half of us aren't 21 we had like t martin and a bunch of like 19 year olds with us or something and uh woody didn't want to gamble because he doesn't believe in it uh he's never

gambled in his life um the idea of it asked what he's if he's ever bet on anything or gambled at all he's never done it. I was like, well, I'll just make it quick. I put $500 on black, lost, and then we left. That was it. Fun night. Roulette's really quick to do that.

I've seen a guy we were at a bachelor party and he was down to his last $10 or $15 and he was down to his last like 10 or 15 bucks and he just lost like several hundred and I think Phil or someone was like I just put it on 17 or whatever and so he put

it on 17 hit and then nice 36 times or something yeah and then so yeah like a few few hundred bucks is like screw it I'm just gonna double down till it's gone and then so he he went into the high roller room with like a few hundred bucks. He's like, screw it. I'm just going to double down until it's gone. And then so he went into the high roller room with like the few hundred dollars, doubled down on red, doubled down on red, doubled down on red,

and he was at like $15,000 after like a few. He's like, all right, I'm going to quit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was honestly thinking about that same scenario the other night. I was like, because I'm thinking about going on a little vacation. I'd like to go somewhere, do something. I was like, man, it'd be cool to take some semi-small amount of money and just keep doubling it until I hit a significant amount of money. I feel like $500 would be where I'd want to start.

If I double the $500 to $1,000, we know how math works. So it's quickly a lot of money. But here's the thing. When it comes to odds, it's not going to change for you on roulette. And I found that out the hard way, where I was like, oh, man, so many reds have hit. oh man, so many reds have hit. Like there's bound to be like a black one, right? So I'm like doubling down on black, losing every time. I noticed that at the fucking first casino I ever went to where the roulette machine, it had like the past 10 rolls or whatever, and it would say on it like 17 black, 12 red, 2 red, 3 red, or whatever.

And it would put, like, some podunk, ridiculous statistic up there. Like, 38% of the last 10 rolls, or the last 36 rolls, or whatever, have been black. And it's just meant to make you think, like, then we're due for red. Well, it's a shame that that first roll has zero impact on the second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth. The only thing that I will say, if you do go to Vegas or something along those lines, if you go and you are playing roulette and you're just betting on red or black, if you play on the standard roulette tables, your odds are going to be less than if you go into the high uh limit room because the high limit rooms are higher

minimums to buy in but you don't have a double zero so you have a double zero on the the ones out in the main portion of the casino or main lobby but not in the hot yes right is it you have a zero and a double zero on on the ones, but not in the high roller room. What does that mean? It's true 50-50. Is one option better? It's not true 50-50. It's slightly less, right?

But what is there besides red and black then? There's one zero? Zero is green and double zero is green. But I'm in the high roller room. There's one green. There's one green instead of two so it's a slight slightly greater than less than 50 yeah yeah yeah it's yeah it's a 49.5 or some shit but yeah that's uh that you would that'd be a big deal like like if you if you gave me the option

i would certainly take the wheel with only one green yeah if you're doubling down if you're doubling down and you're getting crazy with it or something like that that little bit of a fraction if you were to hit double zero be like oh god oh yeah should have been in the other fucking room getting paid you know yeah yeah exactly i've had to piss so bad and both of you've gotten it before i could all right yeah so did you see the thing where this was a kathy gifford had trump's severed head and there's griffin is that what it is i saw it yeah upsetting not upsetting i'm trying to um you can't upset me without like like it's gonna be a lot she'd have to actually cut his head off to like actually upset me right she'd need a real human head i thought it was inappropriate i didn't think it was cool uh and it doesn't matter who the president is even you know we know who donald

trump is but i don't think that she should be able to hold a bloody disfigured head of him i didn't think it was um i didn't think it was appropriate i didn't think it was it was funny or interesting or cool i thought it was really she's a comic, right? Like she couldn't find some nuance to the situation to exploit in a comedic way. She had to hit you over the head with a head. I'm glad she lost her job. I try to be, so I think she should have lost her job from CNN. I don't know what she did there, but CNN. Oh, let me tell you, like quickly fill you in.

So, so she was, so they do the new year's eve coverage you know right where it's just kathy griffin and um anderson cooper standing there on mic like counting down the minutes and showing off the festivities she's wasted every year and hitting on anderson cooper to no end it's hilarious she like gets on her knees like she's gonna blow him like she gets on her knees like she's gonna give him give him give him a blow job and he's like whoa like stepping away for her stepping away super gay. Super gay, of course. And she knows it. That's the whole point. And the whole time it's just him

being awkwardly gay and not wanting this woman to hit on him and her just being like, oh, you're just so good looking. You're just so good looking. I just wanna be all over you. But I try to, like, so, oh my gosh, so people listen to the show, I've heard me say before, I try to like so. Oh, my gosh. So, yeah, people listen to the show. I've heard me say before.

I try to keep my outrage in check with Trump. Right. You know, because I felt like with Obama, people's outrage was totally out of check. And I brought up before, like on his first day in office, he took off his coat jacket and Fox News was going fucking bonkers with how disrespectful it was to work in the White House with his jacket off. Meanwhile, that's normal. They just, it was a complete invented outrage, right? He wore a tan suit one day. He does all these things that are just nothing burgers and they go ballistic over it. So I'm like, so are they doing the opposite here? You know, is this a nothing burger? And I feel like, so Ted Nugent said Obama should suck on his machine gun, right? And Ted Nugent plays out these murder fantasies on stage of how he's going to kill Obama and what he's going to do about this and that. And no one says a word. They say Ted's kind of a dick, but they don't go – they didn't go – they didn't react to that in the same way that they reacted to Kathy Griffin.

Is that what it is? And she's issued an apology. And she's a comic and i'm really like when a comedian makes a rape joke and then suddenly everyone is like oh my god you can't say that i'm usually on the side of what if a comedian joke comedian holds up a disembodied bloody vagina and talks about it you know like that's the that's the difference here it's not she didn't make a joke about cutting his head off yeah but he just said that right we're uh ted nugent just said that i'm i say just said that but like if he held up a uh you know a decapitated head of president obama

i think that'd have a different response right ak if i was an ar-15 ak-47 but he held up you know a big black scary gun put it between his legs and said obama can suck on his machine gun or whatever it was. AK. That sounds to me more like a gun right stance than a threat though, right? I think there's more to it. I think he said he did tequila guns. Yeah. I don't think

people suck on guns. It was... In Japan they do. Let me tell you about crazy. Yeah. I should make a bong out of anything. A condom fits right over the end of a Glock 17.

Does it really? Isn't that a thing that they use? An American condom does. Isn't that a thing where they put a condom over the end of a gun for some purpose or is that something I made up what am I thinking of that it's a serial killer movie where it's a plastic bag on it now there's pictures of guys in like Vietnam and pictures of guys I think maybe on D-Day like like going and they got the rubbers on the ends of the rifle

right yep you're right that's what I was thinking yeah so I don't know how to what to think of Kevinniss' thing, but I feel like they're drumming up a little outrage out of a comedian's joke that fell flat. I don't care about what happens to her really. I don't really have a dog in the fight, I guess.

But when I saw the image, I was like that seems a little... It was a bloody head, right? It was like... And then I saw clinton jump in like like attacking i was like all right it's safe to be on this side of this argument that that wasn't cool like it really i think because it's a president i i don't like it was it was an outright threat against she had his disability a threat was it really no i i don't think that she's gonna go but it's her saying that i'd like it if his head was cut off.

That's what Ted Nugent says, too, though. And no one seemed to... Yeah, Hollywood sweetheart, Ted Nugent. You know what it's called? Yeah, I mean, Ted Nugent. $50,000 to come to your house. Ted Nugent or Kathy, can't remember her name. Kathy Griffin by a huge amount.

Oh, really? Yeah, she's big. $15,000 to get at your house. That's his quote. Yeah, Ted Nugent's not a big guy anymore. But yeah, the whole head thing, it was kind of shitty.

Like, just, you know, not a... It wasn't very funny, and it wasn't saying anything that, like, oh, wow, finally someone with the... Finally a comedian speaking out against Trump. We'd waited months,

and finally one of these people had a unique and worthwhile opinion about it. Like, now more with Kathy Griffin. To me me the outrage over her is every bit as silly as you know the things that they got outraged about obama about she's equivalent to ted nugent and should be minimized as such i don't really think a deal as everybody is yeah ted nugent's been excised from that community. He got invited to the White House after he said he wanted to kill Obama, right?

Trump brought him in immediately. Because he's pretty far to the edge of the right wing. I guarantee he's friends with, who's the guy from Breitbart that's with Trump? What's his, Bannon. I guarantee he's a Bannon contact, right? I've never met Ted, but I know people who have met him, and they say he's a real nice guy. And his thing is, he likes to get in helicopters and shoot machine guns and stuff.

Yeah, he likes hog hunting, right? Yeah, yeah. So I've got a few things in common with him, I guess. He gets vocal on stage. I'm not going to defend Ted Dutcher. What am I doing? At the end of the day, who fucking cares about these little... Like, stunts like i don't i don't really care anyway too i feel like the care meter got spiked got pegged to 100 on her thing um that didn't happen

before i just try to keep them balanced well who made the decision right to fire her who was pressing it like like i like because cnn fired her you know that that's that's not a right-wing thing like it seems like everybody all the way around thought that it was inappropriate like i said chelsea clinton you can't get any more left than chelsea clinton right you can't get anyone who who dislikes trump any more than just chelsea clinton i don't think i wouldn't imagine you could and i wouldn't think i would imagine that on that list of people who hate trump chelsea cl Clinton is very, very high. Top tier.

She's 10th prestige. Trump hater. Either way, I don't think Kathy – Kathy Griffin, the only thing when I think of her and she jumps in my head is how fucking annoying her character is in Seinfeld when she always has to come up and bother Jerry and show him. Jerry, I'm going to show you this and that. I know you wanted that one barbecue sauce. I know you wanted that one barbecue sauce. I know you wanted that one barbecue sauce. Oh, you just bringing that up pisses me off because this one is way better. The locals like this in Nashville so much more.

It's like, no, I got it because of the bit. Because of the way the bottle was shaped, you dumb redheaded cunt. Her voice is a bit annoying, but I've always had kind of a crush on Kathy Griffin. I think she's hot. Not anymore. At this point, she's like 60, but she really held it together. Hard 60. Yeah, hard 60. But you gotta keep in mind

like 10 years ago, at 50, it was a real good 50. She was top 10%. It was full on, it was plastic surgery and lots of makeup, and she works out like a fiend because her body is nice. And I like redheads.

I could get over the voice, I guess. Must be hard to find a crazy redhead. I don't know any right now. I think that redheads are well together. Last ad. Yeah, I like that, Taylor. After I do this ad, let me go to the bathroom

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Okay. Is this the thing I've been waiting for? well we gotta wait for kyle to get back from peeing because because he as we know he is probably number two in bible knowledge actually no your your proximity to your your parents probably has you at two pretty bad i would guess richard's two right now richard do you know your bible do you know proximity to your parents probably has you at two. I don't know. Pretty bad. I would guess Richard's two right now. Richard, do you know your Bible? Do you know the word of the Lord, son? I grew it, like, my memory's so shot I used to.

Oh, he has strayed! Yeah, well, you know what's funny? I was born, like, baptized Catholic. My mom was very, like, adamant about me, you know, it's funny. I was born baptized Catholic. My mom was very adamant about me just not resisting church, like maybe other members of the family or friends and stuff. And she was like, hey, you figure out what works for you and everything. And so I found a little cobblestone Baptist church, which is down the road from our farm, and they were extremely vocal. We had like maybe a 10-minute sermon, and the rest of it was like an hour, hour and a half of singing in choir.

And so I was just like, I loved it, man. I loved going in there singing and everything. And, you know, we had Bible study and stuff along those lines. But whenever I got out of, you know of middle school, I started going to church with my girlfriend at the time in high school and just, it was more of a it wasn't really about going. Did you find going to church with your

girlfriend made it harder to get laid? No. No? Quite the opposite. Personalize your decision. like every time they went in there like she'd come out like wanting to be a virgin again oh the opposite lord i lift your name on high lord i love to sing your praises let me kneel real fast yeah yeah yeah like there's a lot of getting on your knees in the

christian religion trust me like you want to get laid you find yourself a christian chick they're they're the regular role huh i think the ones that have the the very repressive um you know ideologies like like my my uh ex-girlfriend uh went to catholic school and everything and she she's still like i i would say spiritual religious but but that that that really makes them soon as they get out just go buck wild like yeah oh yeah like all those girls who got or not all of them that's too much with a lot of those girls who got like over handled with the bible stuff of like, you've got to be pure, you've got to be this, you can't –

you don't want to be with boys. They're dirty. They just go bananas in high school or in college. Exactly. I've heard this exact scenario so many times because if you're in that Catholic girls' school with a bunch of other girls and you spend so much time learning that cock is something that we need to stay the fuck away from no matter what. They're all like, I kind of want some cock. It's not just that because if it's a girls' school, it's going to be like, all right, we're having our fucking dance where we're meeting up with this all-boys school or this co-ed school and they all mingle together and do your dance.

And so a lot of those girls, I would assume, I don't know, I have my male mindset of like sex sex sex sex sex sex and that theirs is obviously different but you would think that there's some pressure of like oh this is our like dance night and we're with a bunch of boys let's get it done you know i don't want to be the one who doesn't who doesn't you know have a story on monday or whatever the case may be but who knows that's also speculation do you guys know anything about about uh isaac jacob and esau isaac and his sons jacob and esau no they sound like bible names they are absolutely bible names they were jews and uh or maybe this was before the whole no they were definitely hebrews hebrews yes so basically this is old testament and so if you hear anything in this where you're like that doesn't sound like jesus be like settle

down like it hasn't changed yet. You know, it'll come around to that. So basically, this is when old school rules apply. Isaac, he was old. He was dying. It was in Jesus, way before Jesus days. And so this is when it was like, oh, you had your kid and you were 72 when you had him because people lived to be super old then. And of course they did.

In the Bible, yeah, they lived to be hundreds of years old. I had no idea. Yeah, people lived very, very long back then. And so it was like, oh, Isaac, beget whoever. When he was 82, they're like, whatever it is. And Isaac, he knew he was going to die soon. And so he's laying in his dying bed. And he goes to his son Esau, the older one, who is known for being big and hairy and the huntsman. And he goes, Esau, I don't know when I'm going to die.

I need you to go out. I need you to hunt for some game and then make me a delicious meal. Bring it to me. I'll eat it, and then I'll give you a blessing. I'll bless you this day forward. And so Esau is like, all right, absolutely. I have to go do this because this isn't like a blessing of like, you know, Hail Mary full of grace. This is like,

this is a real deal blessing. Like it's an actual, think of it like a spell. Yeah, this was not a, I give you good luck. It was like a spell of power basically. Because let me ask you, who's the character who's in the bed dying? His name is Isaac. Isaac is like tight with God, right? So a blessing from Isaac is de facto a blessing from God in some ways.

Yeah. You need to establish to get the intensity of the story that this is a blessing of like, I bless you to be guaranteed to go on and do great shit and be successful. That's way better than sneezing. It's not a, bless you child. You know, now I know. And so as he tells Esau this, Esau's in there and he goes, okay, I promise you, father, I'm going to go get that game, make you a meal, bring it back.

Rachel, who was one of Isaac's wives, or Rebecca, sorry, who was one of Isaac's wives, was outside of this room and she heard that. And so she goes to her son, Jacob, and she goes, Jacob, he's about to give away this blessing and Esau's out there hunting. We got to work. We got to go right now. We got to get this blessing and Esau's out there hunting we got to work we got to go right now we got to get this blessing right now you go you find you get two animals from our stock bring them in here I'll kill them I'll make the meal real quick and then you go deliver it to him and Jacob goes that's all well and good I'd love to usurp that blessing but problem is I am a smooth man and Esau is hairy even if even though Isaac is going blind he he's still gonna, gonna recognize me. This

speaks volumes to the intellectual capacity of people back in this day. No, hang on, let me jump in, because I got a theory as to how this could be true. I think that he's blind, right? I, I think that the father is blind at this point. Isaac is so old that he's going, like, he's, like, having to squint, he can barely see anything. He can't see them, so he knows his sons by touch. He, you know, you take a, just like, remember Ray Charles, you know, he, he, he had to? He had to get rid of the fatties, right? So when he met a woman, he'd take her hand, and he'd wrap his hand around her wrist, not her hand. And he could tell by putting his hand around her wrist

if this lady was fat or not. So I think we've got a similar thing here. He's feeling for that hairy arm, and he knows who he's got. It's kind of like that, where Jacob goes, I'm a smooth man, my brother's hairy, he's going to know. Rebecca's like, no, no excuses. We're making sure you get this blessing because you're my only kid. And so we're not letting this hairy fucker Esau get it.

And so he goes, fine. He goes and he gets the animals, brings them back, slaughter them. She's cooking them up. And he goes, when I go in there, he's still going to know it's me. Like, it's my voice. I'm not hairy. And so she goes, go get two goat skins and drape it over your neck and then over your hands. Over your hands.

Yucky. As if feeling goat skin on someone's hands. Whatever. And so he puts the goat skin on. He goes into Isaac's hut. And he goes, Father, I'm here. And he, ah! Esau, is that you, my son? You sound of Jacob. He's like, oh, no, no, no, it's definitely me. Definitely me, Esau, the guy you told to get food. Oh, well, I did

tell you that, and you know, and Jacob wasn't around, I trust you. Come closer, come closer. And he touches his hands with his old man fingers, and he goes, ah, his old man fingers and he goes ah my donkey handed son my my hairy warf you've come back to me yes so oh you're here you're here well all right give me my food and so so he sits down he starts feeding isaac food, helping him eat, gets Isaac some wine, lets him drink it. And after he finishes it, Isaac goes, are you really Esau? Because even this blind man was not convinced by this masterful ruse. And he goes, yeah, yeah, i'm definitely esau and so he

goes you you sound just like jacob though like you sound just like him like i'm blind not deaf and he goes okay give me one more stroke of the hands he gets one more hand stroke and he goes all right i'm good i i believe it's so he gets one more uh one more hands of esau touch and isaac goes all, prepare for your blessing. And he says, I want to find the actual blessing here so you can hear what it was. Yeah. So he said, come near me and kiss me, my son. And so he kissed him, his son.

He smelled Esau's furs and the huntsmen upon him. So he was comfortable giving the blessing. And this is the blessing. He said, see, the smell of my son is as the smell of a field that the lord has blessed may god give you the dew of heaven and of the fatness of the earth and plenty of grain and wine let people serve you and nations bow down to you be lord over your brothers and may your mother's sons bow down to you cursed be everyone who curses you and blessed be everyone who blesses you wow powerful blessing you cover a

lot of bases with that wow a lot of those don't like you they're fucked those who are tight with you all those go they get risen up to everything you want is yours you even smell good bro you smell nice it facilitates an awesome dope life for him and so as jacob is leaving you know like 30 yards away esau's coming in with the stuff that he just hunted and cooked and made like he fucking slaughtered stuff out there made a pot made a fire made all this shit and and jacob it is like it's like taking those furs off real quick throwing them behind the hut and then running back into the house behind his mom and esau walks up and he he goes into to Isaac's tent Esau goes father arise arise eat of this meal I've prepared for you so that you may bless me and Isaac with that look on his

blind you know oh I've been hoodwinked face goes but who was it that brought me food just a moment ago I've already given your blessing who was that and? And of course Esau's like, are you shitting me? Are you shitting me? Like, someone already came and get this? Like, there's only so many of us in the world right now. It had to be Jacob. Was it a woman? Was it a woman? No, then it was Jacob. It was fucking Jacob. There's not a lot of us here.

Narrowed it down. He says to his father, Isaac, he says, you know what? Okay, I understand. He's violent, like shaking. He's so mad. But he goes, father, you must have another blessing. You must have another backup blessing.

Does he have shorted the blessings? He just says them. That's the thing. He says, you know, father, please bless me. Please give me a blessing. I need something. I've done this for you. And Isaac, like a fucking Radio Shack, no returns, no matter what,

employee is sitting there going, I sorry i can't there is no more blessing for you there's none i can't give it and esau's like this is ridiculous like you can just give me a blessing and isaac apparently being clued into god's like no the words have been said the spell has been cast your your brother is blessed and you are not you want me to go to God and tell him I didn't recognize my own son that I was trying to bless you think he's going to give me some more blessing mojo if I tell him I gave the wrong fucking son of mine the blessing

never again will he give me mojo he'll never give me another blessing privilege when he finds out that I gave it to literally the only other person that I could have accidentally given it to and so and so basically isaac eventually says to his son esau says i i'm so sorry i can't bless you and he tells him this he says uh uh what then can i do for you my son have you but oh he's asking have you but

one blessing my father and isaac says behold away from the fatness of the earth shall your dwelling be and away from the dew of heaven on high by your sword you shall live and you shall serve your brother but when you grow restless you shall break his yoke from his from your neck and so he didn't only not get a blessing he got like a spelled out prescription for how much his relative or his ancestors are going to have to serve jacob the shitty brother who stole who stole his inheritance from him that blessing which is basically the inheritance that you get from a god man hey that's not where the arabs came from is it uh or is that a different bible story this is, yes. I think that might be Cain and Abel you're thinking of. I thought that was the black people.

But Esau and, oh, maybe. But yeah, there will be more to this story as I continue with Isaac and Jacob in later chapters. But man, I had to reread it to get the full story again today because I haven't thought about it in a long time. Yeah, I remember that one now. The ghost kid. I would be livid, livid if i was esau and i found out that i didn't even like someone stole my blessing and then also i don't even get like a thanks for coming blessing like the way my preacher the way my preacher explained that is it is um he said he was blind of course and that those goat skins like it's not just about feeling the hair but he had the scent

that like the huntsman's scent from those goat skins he was wearing he smelled like the right son and the hoodwinking portion of the story and of course they weren't like goat skins with like goo on the other side so there's no confusion you know it's like it was more like a fur blanket yeah but man like insult to injury being not that any of this ever happened of course no but if you pretend it does then it makes it more fun this is like this is no different than us discussing that episode of house of cards right like and then you fucking pushed her in front of the subway train and he became the president dude but this is so much spoiler alert season two this is so much cooler than house of cards because their story the stories are all the shit oh my bad like it's so old that it's like i don't know you can see morality like almost forming and like the way like back then it clearly was not the god yet of

the new testament which is like the omnipotent omniscient good god who's trying to like help out and shit like this is still when it's like just getting started this is genesis 27 i think i wrote it down yeah genesis 27 is this story so's really early on, and they're still in that mode of, like, our tribal deity, you know? So even God, like, when he finds out, like, oh, hey, sorry, God, I accidentally gave the wrong blessing. Can you give me another one? Even God is, like, a fickle tribal god of, like, no, you fucked it up. Sorry. Sorry.

Yeah, he's a smaller god. He's definitely a smaller god. He's not lord of the universe and commander of the stars. He's more like that guy we're really tight with who does a little magic. Yeah, he does a little magic. Let me tell you about 30 seconds of regret there, son. Men for ages will experience that. Man, these Bible stories, it's the only way to live a good life i still want to i still want to

hear like uh some more about jonah and the whale because i don't think i actually ever heard heard or have read the the the bible verses like like the reveals do you want me to tell you uh jonah um no because i know the basic story, but I want to... Are you prepared to tell the story of Jonah? I know enough about Jonah to say it. Maybe you can fill stuff in. So basically, Jonah

was one of those prophets, right? Where prophets had a ton of power back then. They were just God's messengers. And so God went to Jonah and said, hey, I need you to go to Nineveh and tell them that literally everything they're doing in their lives every day is evil. And if they don't stop, I'm going to destroy this entire city and kill all of them. And Jonah goes, honestly, there's not a good track record of people who show up in Nineveh telling him not to do this shit. Like almost like literally, yeah, all of them die.

They all get crucified or murdered or something horrible or drawn and quartered. Like, I'm not going to go be that guy in Nineveh telling him not to do this shit. Like almost like literally, yeah, all of them die. They all get crucified or murdered or something horrible or drawn and quartered. Like, I'm not going to go be that guy in Nineveh. Screw that. And so obviously Jonah is like, I'm running away. I'm running away from God and from home. And so he goes down to the docks, pays a fee to get on there. Doesn't fully explain who he is. They know he's a prophet, but they're not of the Jewish religion, and so they don't really

care. They're doing their own thing. They say, all right, come on board. He hops on board. They start sailing across just away from Nineveh. He doesn't know where he's going. He's just trying to get away from Nineveh. They get out there in the middle of the waters, and the most heinous storm breaks out to the point that even though jonah is down below everybody up top is throwing a fit they're freaking out they're all like weathered sailors trying to survive and jonah's down there sleeping and so someone comes down there and goes jonah you're sleeping like this isn't you know a fucking ramada 2 000 years from now you got to get up here and help out like this is getting out of control come on come on and so he goes up there

and the whole time it's like it's like jonah is the guy who clogged the toilet that nobody knows it was him and he's trying to help clean up the mess to where he's like you know he knows it's him and he's like yeah it is totally gross like who did this and like trying to clean it up and he's trying to help and eventually they're like uh they they get clued in a little bit more because they realized, Jonah, you ran, so you were running away from responsibility with your God? Like you had to do something for your God

and you said no and you ran away and now you're on this boat with us in the ocean. You did that. And Jonah's like, I know, like hindsight's 20-20. And so Jonah is like, I'm so sorry about this, guys. like i'm still a man of my god

and and so you know we gotta we gotta we'll do we'll work on something else you know let's throw everything overboard first and so they start throwing everything overboard that they don't need to survive for like one more day to get to shore it's still not enough to keep them afloat and so they start casting lots which is just rolling dice to see who is going to be the person that they throw overboard because they have run out of weight. And they have to get this. It's either one of us dies for sure, or we

all end up dying. And so they cast lots, and as they're doing it, Jonah's like, stop. I'm jumping off the boat. This is my fault. As soon as I jump off, you guys should be okay. God wants me me not you and they're like like doing that thing of like oh man are you sure like hey like hey you come back here jonah don't you make us twist your arm you know as he's like jumping over into the water and so

he jumps over into the water instantly instantly storm subsides stops what happens beneath the walkers that you don't know, all the people that were on the boat are just, you know, they continue about their merry way, having been basically transitively proselytized to that the Jewish God is the true God. And so, and very, very frightening, which is important in tribal gods. They go on out, Jonah's in the water. God sends a giant fish, not a whale, in the water. God sends a giant fish. Not a whale, because they didn't know that whales were not giant fish.

They send a giant fish, swallows up Jonah. That's the part that everybody's familiar with. For three days and three nights, he lived in the fish's stomach. Basically, if you look at ancient drawings of this, you see what they imagined these beasts' stomachs to look like.

Almost like Woody's East Sun Room is what one of these beasts stomachs to look like almost like uh like woody's east sunroom is what one of these things look like like just a very nice spacious you know not too many organs you know mucking up the works crowding it it's just very very nice and so he stayed there three days and three nights until eventually the fish vomits him back up pretty much right where he left off as a way for god to be like oh look who's back throws him up god tells him again he goes hey jonah so we're not we're not going to get into stuff we both know what you did you tried to run away like i figured you knew i was god and i would find you like this is a lesson that you should have known you are a prophet um seriously though i need you to get to nineveh and tell them that everything

that you're doing is going to cause them imminent death I will destroy them if they don't stop having sex and sacrificing animals to Baal or whatever other gods, golden calves and the like and this time Jonah's like I have no option, I gotta go

I gotta go to Nineveh so he goes to Nineveh as he gets there um this is almost like a bit of a shamalan twist to this story he goes in gets up on his pedestal shaking so nervous because he knows what happened to every other person who goes into nineveh and says right like get like it'd be like going on bourbon street and trying and like stealing beers out of people's hands like it's not gonna happen like someone's's going to bottle you or something. And so he gets up there, starts spreading the word, saying, guys, if you don't stop,

God's going to kill all of you forever and your city will be gone. Miraculously, all of them look around and almost have a communal like, well, we had a good run, didn't we, Nineveh? We really got raucous, quite a bit of debauchery, sex, animals, the't we, Nineveh? Like, we really got raucous, quite a bit of debauchery, sex, animals,

the whole nine, you know, but let's call it quits. This is the same guy who got swallowed by a whale, according to that other fisherman who, you know, we all trust Jeff, right? And so then they all actually listen. The whole city of Nineveh takes it to heart and says, we are going to follow God, we're going to get rid of this sin and so at the end of it jonah comes out looking like a real retard because the whole time god knew that nineveh was going to come around and it was almost like it was a test for jonah's faith you know but it does seem like they only came around because jonah defied god and experienced the whole whale thing and and let some some geneva or wherever the fuck people see that god was real right

ah but you can't look that far into it god cheated his own system like he's up there like no i'm not gonna fucking make any magic for you to see so you'll worship me well i might this time though just maybe this time it's he's ridiculous like that that god you know he's always doing the pulling because if he really wanted us to sign on board right he all he's got to do is show up like i i don't even need like a seminar like you'd like this doesn't have to be like a tony robbins thing where it goes on for hours and i'm in the audience like yeah he's really winning me over like i need a paragraph from this guy just just make a make an appearance be like float down how are you pulling all this out, though? Like, did you, like, into Bible study?

Or did you go to, like, how did you just pull that out? Oh. These are things Taylor knows. I went to a private school, like a religious school, for a lot when I was younger. And so I knew, I know all the boilerplate tales and such because I've been told them so many times. And as I was, like, I was like in mid teens late teens I got more into like looking into it trying to figure it out

and so I just like read through the Bible and you know you pick a lot of it up when you read it and then if you actually get an interest in it it's like this is you know these are pretty interesting stories I don't know any of it really or remember any of it I guess you could say.

That qualifies you for second most knowledgeable in the podcast. We have coloring books for this stuff to really hammer home these points. You could be making shit up for all I know, but you said it was such conviction and just your pacing on it and everything. I'm like, oh, yeah, well, maybe that did happen. Maybe it did. Maybe it did. Maybe it did. Fuck, man. I was going to go lobstering in August, but fuck it.

Now I ain't going near the ocean. He slips shit in there, and he's like, hindsight's 20-20. And I'm like, they said that? Well, I guess he said that. Okay. Yeah, there's a lot of modern phrases in the Bible. You don't know about. Tell me about Jesus.

Well, Jesus, you could go on forever because lots of tales about that guy. But yeah, these obscure, more Old Testament tales, you can tell most of them. And if you get like 20% of it wrong, most people have no fucking idea. Like maybe one person will be like, actually, it was a different,

that was Eisha not elijah in that story or something like that but anyway that's enough to become elijah no elisha is elijah's protege bruce became okay which one who was the guy whose name changed when he when he when when god when god came into his life like like he just became another guy saul became paul okay thank you that's a new testament thing yeah i knew the names sounded alike it was like they didn't change it much you know it's all used to persecute christians and then god came to him changed him into paul then he became one of the great proselytizers you know of of the era but the end not not the end there's a lot more pages just books and books yeah god's pretty shitty in that in that book like he's always playing

favorites like like modern christianity is all about how god loves all of us all of us so much like they hammer that home endlessly god loves you so much you you and no matter what you do he'll still love you that much that's why he gave his only son just just so you wouldn't have to sacrifice a goat to ensure that you wouldn't have to sacrifice a goat to ensure that you get to go to his everlasting kingdom of heaven. That's what it was all about, you know? Because you and your evil sin that's part of you." And it's like, yeah, but there's plenty of times in there that he was a real dick, right? Like, just like a petulant child. A guy who played favorites to the point where if you saw that happen

in politics, you'd be like, ah, this is fucking horseshit. Who was the warrior king? You told the story before. There's the warrior king, maybe David. Is it David who sends the soldier off to war so he can get with the guy's wife? And God's like, you know, all's fair

in love and war, I guess, saith the Lord. God's like, sure. Is this a fair in love and war, I guess, saith the Lord. God's like, sure. Is this a regular thing you guys do? Occasionally. Once a month. Yeah, every once in a while. I'm going to start doing it more because I think they're fun. Yeah, Bible story's good.

I mean, like, there was no, like, hesitation, no, like, lull in that story. I was like, oh, wow. Well, he's got notes. Did I say something? Not for Jonah. I know. know yeah you knew isaac notes but um yeah god fucked up on accident no you can see like one of his first fuck ups with the tower of babel where everybody on earth was speaking the same language and was working together to build the tower to heaven and god saw it and it was almost like he built a custom Civ game,

and he's like, damn it, I forgot to set the settings right, and now everybody's getting along. All right, break up the languages. Go in different areas. Okay, all right, we're good. And so there's just a part of the Bible where clearly he fucked up, and they were all speaking French or whatever, and so he had to invent a bunch of shit and break everybody up,

get them fighting. Otherwise, it's just a peaceful story. The whole way through, God makes mistakes and errors, and he plays favorites, and he everybody up, get them fighting. Otherwise, it's just a peaceful story. The whole way through, God makes mistakes and errors, and he plays favorites, and he's jealous, and he's angry, and he's wrathful, and he's petty. Petty to no end when you consider that he's supposed to be a god. Like, he's petty for us. He is petty for a human being.

Those are the upsetting parts. He's a jealous god. He is a jealous god. And you hear that, and I'm saying this for you other twos sake like these are things you hear In church. He is a jealous God. He is a wrathful God like you need to know it's aren't a couple of them Just about loving thou shalt not worship false idols Yeah, no other gods. No idols come before me. Don't take the Lord's name in vain. Yeah It's like honor the sabbath um no murder no

stealing see now those don't adulterate my wife it seems like you know two or three of those things are just about loving me more like if they are commandments like 30 of them are devoted to just fucking so much of the bible is there's There's so much fluff in that list. There are huge moments in the Bible where everything stops because God doesn't feel loved enough. Like Moses comes down with the Ten Commandments, right? And they're down there worshiping the calf and he smashes them.

There's tons of just people getting angry and going... I always wondered, how did God feel about that, right? Like when Moses smashes the Ten Commandments. Nah, he made new ones he did didn't he yeah he made him new like but it betrays the time you know because it's like back in the day you didn't want your tribal god to be the all-loving all-caring once everybody is part of your group like no you want your god to be the insular containing we are powerful are powerful, we are mighty, fear us kind of god.

Because guaranteed those Ammonites over there, their god doesn't want anything to do with you. Their god is a ferocious war god who wants them to succeed and drink your blood or whatever. So to be tribal like that, you need a god that's fierce. See, there you go again. You got stories about the walls of Jericho and what we did to the – I say we. What the Hebrews did to the Hittites and all of those. When God decided that you were no good and then he got behind his people, there's this story after story of cities being smoked. And God will enumerate what he wants done.

He won't just be like, they're against us. They must die. He'll be like, and their children and their goats. us they must die he'll be like and their children and their goats yeah you see a baby goat that was born on that morn and he is then he was born to evil so you slaughter the baby goat as you would the adult goat and he's like all this backwards talking that's like a metaphor for kill everything and everyone at salt fields like he's not a friendly kumbaya kind of god he's like you said he is he's a war god you know and more often than not he's all a friendly kumbaya kind of god. He's, like you said, he's a war god. And more often than not, he's all about destroying our enemies or protecting us.

Yeah. Which is what they needed. When you get into, like, the, what was it, Eastern Roman Empire with Constantine, and he politicized Christianity as the official religion of the empire. I wonder about Constantine. That was post-Jesus. Because Constantine. And it was more like, everybody come into our fold and be a part of our team,

because I have this vast empire, and so obviously it's better if we can try and get everybody on the same page with some of this shit you know i it from the stories it almost seems like constantine was like like maybe in like a fever dream was converted for reals though right because because he saw the cross in the air right yeah before he wrote into battle and then he wrote into battle the next day with the crosses on his shields, I think, and they fucking won when they weren't supposed to win. And he was like, oh, Rome is Christian now.

Then you get the... Then the potpourri leads from there. Yep. Not the kind that smells good. Potpourri. That's funny. The kind that fondles children, not the kind that smells nice in your grandma's house.

I feel like the popes aren't actually fondling children. I bet the old ones were. Oh, those old popes were like fucking vicious warlords. There were some scary popes back in the day. There were popes torturing people and fucking bitches. There's been all kinds of hardcore popes. Some of the popes through history were like, if there's a list of the top 100 people, most

powerful human beings of all time for their era, considering all those things. If there's a point in history where there's 20 million people in existence and this guy ruled over 6 million of them, then he's a lot more powerful than Donald Trump is today, probably. He had complete sway over one third of the population

of human beings. He's more powerful by a factor. Trump just has influence. Yeah, and some of those popes fall into that category. Like guys who were, they're like, yeah, he's the pope. He talks to God. That's where he just came from. He was talking to God. He's going to relay that to us, and we either do it or we burn in hell for all eternity.

It's pretty simple around here. If you're living like that, then kings and queens bow down to the pole in the church like i i wish i could know what their real true honest feelings are right because you mentioned right like hey god comes down here does a little magic trick i'm on board right just come give me something and then and i'll believe in god as much as i believe in, you know, all my other neighbors and stuff, right? Like, because they're real. So let's say that you're like a cardinal or something, right? You're 76 years old. You've still never seen any evidence of God unless you stretch it, stretch it so much to believe that like, you know, like I broke my window and then I found money between the couch cushions and that was an act of God because it paid for the damage.

Like, if you really stretch it, you know, to think that any good act or any good thing that happened was a blessing. Or that if you prayed and then that outcome came out positively, then that was God. But, of course, if you prayed and the outcome doesn't come out positive, then it was part of his plan, and you just need to pray harder. So, you know, you're a cardinal, what's really going on in your head? You've never seen any evidence of God. Well, it's the same way that, like, people who have already confirmed that preconceived notion

in their heads of, like, they're not seeing any evidence that some Muslim or Hindu or something hasn't seen, you know, but they see God in different things. So they're like when something happens, like, oh, my God, I thought for sure that this project for work was going to go badly. But I kept doing it and it ended up going well. Praise God. Like I got like people impose credit for God and stuff like that. And so to them, even though as an outsider looking in, you're like, that's not evidence. That's not unfalsifiable. That's just life. But to them, you can't convince them otherwise.

They don't just think in their heads. They know that it was Jesus or Allah or the hippo god or whoever. There's a fucking billboard I drive past every day. It says, the fool has said in his heart there is no God. And I'm just like, God damn it, I hate that. Every day I drive past it because it disallows you from disagreeing with it, right? It's like, well. I don't want to be a fool.

I don't want to be a fool. According to this billboard. According to the billboards. And the billboards know everything. They told me about that big and tasty burger at McDonald's. We get that here. Like we're all drive down Highway 70 between St. Louis and Kansas City. And you just see like the two giant billboards that are like 200 yards apart where one will be like, what will you say at the pearly gates with like a picture of the pearly gates?

And he's like, when asked, did you defend unborn children on the next on the next one go to florida i didn't see that coming you know go to florida if you want a real abortion reality check right because you'll get to see more fetuses than a fucking nurse has seen in her entire medical career there are dead fetuses up all up and down uh the fucking highway the down down to florida i drive down there a good bit. I'm constantly seeing... I make that same drive. I can't remember the name of the highway. But you see... Oh, the billboards? Billboards. Anti-billboards.

Oh, the billboards. I'm like, no way are there actually dead fetuses on I-95. They hang them up, Woody, by the umbilical cord. I'm like, Kyle, that's just... They tie two umbilical cords together and throw them over the power lines like a pair of sneakers. Make me like Mike.

Witness the product of your sins. He's speaking, right? He had a quarter in his hand. He's talking to like 500 people. And he's like, all of you pray. Pray that when I turn my hand over, the quarter won't fall to the ground. He's like, how many of you think God will answer that prayer? Right? And like none of them. He's like, how many of you think God will answer that prayer? Right?

And like, none of them. He's like, what if there were 100,000 people here or 200,000 people? What if I was on television broadcasting to 8 million people? And 8 million people simultaneously prayed that when I turned my hand over, the quarter wouldn't fall down. Do you think God would answer any of their prayers? I know the Christian answer to that, what they would say. I'm listening.

They would say, do not put the Lord thy God to the test. Yeah. That putting him to a test like that is trivializing his power. He's not some parlor trick for you to say, to do stuff with coins. Basically, it's a very easy, you can't prove me wrong, out. And you have to keep in mind, like, a reoccurring factor in the Christian religion when these sort of, like, defenses come up is, like, the whole point is faith. Like,

if you don't understand faith, then I'll direct you to the dictionary, sir. There's two Bibles that I read, the dictionary and the Bible. Those are my two books. And apparently you can't define the word faith. I would love those rules to apply to me. One, never test me. Just assume that I'm godly. And two,

you know, like, never ask me just assume that i'm godly and two uh you know like never ask me to i guess that's the same thing you know like you create a universe and we won't doubt you a bit well how do you know i haven't i haven't seen it or read any literature oh have some faith hey you haven't been given the gift of faith kyle keep this cap in my hand you print out a book about this fucking thing full of tales then I might believe in your religion. Although there is plenty of studies that suggest that praying for people, people who are prayed for, statistically do better.

I think that has more to do with a social structure that cares enough to pray. I didn't say it had anything to do with God, but people who are prayed for do better than people who are not prayed for. According to the Christian Science Monitor science monitor no according to actual studies like it's a real thing like i don't just make it yeah the christian science monitor we should all get like tracks those like chick tracks from like crazy you guys know what those are no so basically

what those are uh i'll look one up so a chick track Chick track is just one of these. I've never heard of a Chick track at all. I'm picturing a CD track, like a song. It's like a small booklet, and it basically just goes through like, what do you do if your friend wants to look at pornography with you, and how do you handle it? What do you do if your friend wants to smoke a cigarette or a doobie, God forbid?

Ooh, what do we do and then it's like these silly little like christian total straw man uh pamphlets where you know the person who wants to look at porn is like just the apotheosis of evil and and just and just uh yeah gremlin style person i'm glad we'd never do that 30 minutes ago. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. I have an image. I saw this and thought it might make an interesting

show topic. This is a cadaver split in half. One is fat and one is fit. Why does that one shit out of his penis? I can't even tell what i'm what's part no it's real hard to tell there's such a there's so much fat in the fat guy look at his spine his spine is even over curved from the extra weight this is a bite look at those masses up in

the top part of his chest compared to the normal sized guy yeah it. It's the belly. At first I was like, how fat am I compared to these people? Where do I fall on this scale? But if you look at what that belly is, that thing there, that guy has, he's one of those real overhang dudes. Yeah, the guys who can't see their penis.

Wow, Taylor mentioned the curve in his spine, but I didn't really picture it until I looked at the lower section. Yeah, I can't tell fully the difference in the coloration now that I'm looking at it, because the in-shape dead body is totally white, and the shitty dead body that's fat is just yellow with globules sprinkled in.

Lots of dark places. Why is his spine so dark? I don't know. But, man, that fat is disturbing. Like, look at his organs. They're even caked in fat. Is that what a naked enough fat dude looks like with a flat back and a flat front? No, these people are definitely misshapen from being sliced into deli meat.

Yeah. What is this, like a bisection? Yes. They did it a long time ago where they froze a person, and then they cut off a millimeter, took a picture, and they just kept doing that. Yeah. They had this exhibit going around.

What was it called the human body or whatever i remember bodies yeah i remember being in la and and they had the all they were advertising for and then it may have came to atlanta and but it's like it's preserved human bodies being exhibited in many different forms right like like maybe one of them doesn't have any skin or the other one is nothing but the circulatory system and organs with like other they remove different parts of the human body and then colorize organs and stuff and science it's somewhere in the middle and it's it's it's i think it i think they do it as an art expo um and there was a little bit of a controversy as to where they were sourcing the bodies from too

yeah because you go in there you see your uncle or something. Well, they said something, I don't know, like, I just heard some things, so that could be way off here, but they were, like, talking about foreign governments and how they were, I guess it was like a Chinese thing or something. Political dissidents, eh?

Yeah. Remember, that's where the North Koreans are going when they go to the gulag up north. Why are all of our bodies named Igor or Victor or Vladimir? If you donate your body to science, it's not like they can go put it in a private touring art exhibit. But they can do awful things to it. I remember watching this thing on the Discovery Channel back in the day about forensic science. And they had these bodies that were donated to science.

And what they did was they put clothes on them and then put them in the trunk of a car in Florida. That's here in Tennessee. And they just let them decompose. That's the body farm. It's part of UTK's. They work with all the different branches of the government and how the bodies decompose. They put them in the bottom of a lake and prop it with a log and different things like that. All the different scenarios that might happen in real life in a murder investigation or something. And they want to know, like, well, how did they, a body, I'm sure, is one of the common things they're looking for. Like, well, because a body who's been in the trunk of a hot car in Florida is going to decompose rapidly compared to maybe a guy in a really cool, dry environment somewhere else.

And they want to know, be able to tell every step of the way, I guess, among other things. But it was really gross. I remember watching it because they were going to, like, get the rotted body and examine it. They were like, okay, let's crack the lid basically on the Tupperware and burp it real quick, take a look at Larry and see how he's liquefying. And it was like, ah, that's somebody's dad. That's somebody that they're just liquefying out there in that car. And I get it's for science and everything,

but we're watching it on fucking Discovery Channel right now eating popcorn. Yeah, you should definitely get a checklist or choice for what they're going to do with you. Because if they're like, if I'm like, alright, I'm ready to donate my body to science on this forum when I die, what are you going to use me for? Like, well, we're going to put two tons of cat shit on your dead body

and see how long it takes to turn it into compost. I'm going to be like, oh, well then no, I'm not volunteering. No. What if they want to put you in a fighter and crash it into something? Then I'm like, oh. like oh i'm fine oh do you want to test a new ammunition on me do you want to do something like that then yeah sure just you know put me in a in a funny hat and t-shirt and put me out there you know just send my my kids a postcard or whatever the fuck oh that'd be dark don't actually send them the postcard um but that you know i would want

something like that you need to be able to pick or if they give you a shitty one they have to pay you you die tomorrow what do you want done with your remains organ donor well of course organ donor they're going to take those out and give them to people what do they do with the rest of you that they can't use uh throw me out of the plane right after Richardyan so we can see what

what happens there and you can have richard going down filming my body you know with just like dead lips flapping in the wind you know see that flat spin splat yeah as long as today i'm going to show you what happens when you chute doesn't open. Throw that cadaver out. I'd like to see that actually. That's a little fucked, but I'd like to see when the body is dropped from altitude and hits the ground. Because remember on King of the Hill, Peggy landed in that soft field, just made a Peggy-sized

crater, and she was alright for the most part. She fractured her pelvis. GoPros are a thing. I'm sure there are some places you can watch at. I guarantee it. People live sometimes, right? Very rarely.

But there's stories of people falling 10,000 feet and somehow surviving. And then people dropping 100 feet and splatting. People fall off six-foot ladders and crack their head and die instantly, right? Your head falls from six feet, you're dead. You get knocked out and hit your head on the damn concrete

because you're unconscious, you can't brace, you die. Her co-worker was cleaning the gutters on the second floor of a house, right? Just a regular suburban house. And the ladder, like, I don't know, slid, gave way, something happened, so he grabs onto the gutter, which does not hold people. Of course not.

And he ends up falling. So this is really just like a story and a half, right? Like, you know, he was holding a gutter like this. And he had some severe brain injury. Like, he lost a bunch of his memory. He had to sort of relearn how to talk. And he was a

PhD candidate at the time. One of my mother's friends' son, we would always go to their house and they'd have pool parties and stuff and we'd hang out. And her son was like seven years older than me, so when I'm in middle school, he's going into college or something like that along those lines.

But anyway, he's away at college and he's going to slide down this banister to be cool and he fell off of it like 25 feet down to a tile floor. And I mean he just completely can't take care of himself now with the brain damage. Like just forget about college and continuing on or returning back.

It's like we have to work out a life plan for Tom now because it'll never be the same. And he isn't. He was never that person again. Tom died that day and a new person is is walking around in that body so how like how functional is he can he not um he can walk um conversation no no not one that you'd want to have yeah someone who's got to be taken care of 100% for the rest of their life, yeah, like with his parents forever, and just not functional in any way. I mean, severe brain damage. His skull was cracked open.

It was a real fall he took. So protect your noggin, kids. Always put the helmet on, even though it looks a little lame. For sure. But it's not even just the blunt force trauma. It's the motion itself, right? So if you're, you know, a lot of guys with wingsuits and stuff like that, you can wear a helmet, but that motion isn't going to stop, right? You just have a very thin membrane there and your skull is just like the outer shell on that your brain's still sloshing around in there if you've got some kinetic energy behind it so yeah it's it's a it's you know it's sometimes it's just keeping your skull from cracking open if the g4 yeah plf or something

like that you know like roll protect that thing in as many ways as you can i mean it's better to blow a shoulder out or something like that than it is to take the but it's easier said than done i guess yeah the priorities go penis it goes penis brain this brain then stomach brain in that order lately sometimes the stomach brain beats out the head brain though i don't know in case of fall yeah but but you know if there's nachos around or something but but if we're falling that this brain wins the stomach brain gives up at that point he relies on penis brain and ear brain didn't you guys do a spelling bee on this show between people like five years ago or something yeah yeah it was really i think white boy was in it it was i just there were a lot of

misspelled easy words. I just saw on Twitter that the spelling bee is going, and I couldn't remember if you guys did that or if I was thinking of something else. Didn't Whiteboy beat Only Use Me Blade? Do I have that right? It's been five years ago, but I remember it being a real shit show

and wondering if people were cheating and the like. That's the big issue. Did we even have video like we do now at the time? I probably wasn't on video, though I don't think I did very well at spelling. I feel like now we could do a true hands-up spelling bee. Oh, fuck that. I'll have my Bluetooth in.

I'll have my third party outside that door. Now, I don't want to start your mic goes mute, and then it's like you just see someone off the side. Hey, siri how do you spell i think taylor wins this i tell whenever we do the titles and it's like how do you spell serendipity taylor says it like it says it like he knows it but that doesn't quite do it like like he is taylor doesn't be like uh no. He spells it like I would spell my own name. Always. It's stupid.

I don't want to start a bickering match between you two, but who do you think wins that spelling bee in the Kyle versus Woody spell-off? There are some words that I struggle with, and I'm just like, well, I guess I don't write that word much. I just say that word all the time.

You know? Like conscience, I know how to spell. It's C-O-N-S-c-i-e-n-c-e it's con science right it's not a turbulence t-u-r-b-u yeah you l it is it l-e-n-c-e or l-a-n-c-e i'm gonna go with l-a-n-c-e i'm 50 50 on that word in my head i'm negative you it up. For you, Lance. Like Lance, like a... Let me check that out. I think that's it. No.

Did you say A or E? He said A. He went with Lance. It's E. It is E. And then the other thing is like, spelling them out loud is wildly different than if I'm typing them.

Because once I type it, I'm like, oh, that's... You get to see it. Yeah, yeah i'm like oh well i didn't mean because of the auto correct but um well maybe you know no i didn't mean that either yeah i just meant like sometimes you visual like oh now now that i see it i know that that's not what it's supposed to look like yeah those spelling those guys those kids i should say who do the national spelling bee every year it's really cool to see them do their preparation because you might think it's a lot of like looking at big words and memorizing them but it's not. It's a lot of looking at the rules

and the sources of words like where the word delineated from, where it began from, what nationality it was originally, if it's Latin or not so they can figure out if the U is going to be in front of the I or not. There's a lot of rules that they know, and then there's a lot of, you know, they're like,

could you use it in a sentence? I really enjoy those because... Can I phone a friend? Oh, they should add that, but those kids don't have friends, so... Phone a tutor? Yeah, yeah. It looks like Indian people Facebook, uh like the early years at every one of those at every one of those spelling bees there's some like incredibly socially awkward

indian kid i remember like the kid was like being interviewed by this blonde report she's like so what was it like when you and your mom were you know all this study and everything and you guys been working hard what's it like he's, you'd have to ask her about that. Alright! He's like, I spell words, bitch. I don't have a personality. I've been locked in a room for the last eight months learning to spell these words. I haven't been allowed to see kids.

It was an interview black hole. It was crazy how he never hit it back at all. Not even a little and almost intentionally like he was annoyed to be there like he was just giving her he was like a prisoner answering questions because he knew if he didn't give some answer he might get slapped but but not that he had any fear he was just like i don't know i don't know what it's like don't ask me what it's like you know it's it's like life whatever and then he's like a 12-year-old kid, too, who just, that whole thing.

I like looking at, like, I don't know, little niche groups of the world, whatever separates humanity into that little group of people. And that's one of them, the spelling bee kids and their parents, because what kind of parent is getting their kid involved

in the national spelling bee contest? I can see who's marrying. If it's regional and we're spelling scissors, that's one thing. But when you're at the point where you're hiring a private tutor who like, oh, yeah, he tutored Patel last year. He's the guy you want. He's very expensive, but trust me. Fuck can he spell?

It's a mental beauty contest, right? You put them on stage and you compete over... Yeah. Yeah, except for, you know, if they misspell the word, they're out. I hate beauty contests of any kind. Like, all of them. I despise Miss America, Miss Universe, all of that shit. And I don't think that Mr. Olympia is in the same category, though.

I think they're completely different things. Why? Because that is about sculpting your body like it's clay. It's not about, I'm not into bodybuilding, I think it's a little ridiculous to be honest, but what they are doing isn't just getting big and strong, it's they're like the symmetry needs this muscle right here for me to be perfectly symmetrical, has to be bigger. And that's not about push-ups or curls.

It's going to take me, I'm going to have to target this muscle for the next year of my life. Schwarzenegger, they always talk about his symmetry and how perfectly symmetrical he was and everything, and the thinness of his weight. He sculpted his body to look like that, not because it was his version of perfection, because it is perfection. They're making a piece of art with hard work and dedication. Just because they're not chiseling it,

actually lends more credence to it, if you ask me, because you can always start over, right? Who cares about that big thing of stone? You wouldn't say the beauty contest girls are doing that? No. They're not achieving their best look? No, they're born that way. They're born that way.

They have it. Sure, they might work out to stay trim and fit they might practice their answers but not to the level of lifelong commitment that arnold schwarzenegger had sculpting his body into a piece of art and when they're done they aren't pieces of art they're they're pretty women on television who are answering questions that are way over their head. It's all, I mean, in some cases, but I feel like, I guess I'm mostly just playing devil's advocate, but I'm like, yeah, you know, these girls are doing their best to look their best. And they also have a talent and an answer category. And I don't know what else. That shit don't count though. It's all about the swimsuit, right? I don't think so. They changed the scoring to make it less sexist.

And the ratings dropped. Yeah. To make it less sexist. Then Trump ratings dropped. To make it less sexist? Did Trump ditch them or did they ditch Trump? I thought he sold it. Isn't that sexism in its own right to treat a woman's hobby

for these women that enjoy doing beauty as though it's lesser and you have to make it about something else? Isn't that its own form of sexism? Saying that your activity isn't good enough? I just don't think it's in the same category as the guy who's like turning his body into a work of art no of course not it's way harder to be arnold schwartzen like those ladies weren't doing nose crunches to get that perfect you know curve or whatever like no like you you either have that or you don't or you get it done in surgery but like

arnold was working all day every day not just, but feeding his body like it's a Formula One race car where it's like, well, I can't afford to do this. I got to eat exactly this shit all the time because food is numbers and I need to get the right numbers to make sure I build up. Arnold is I really like schwarzenegger i find him fascinating his like his like life's journey and especially if you go back and watch the old footage of him like training with some ballet instructor on how to move fluidly or stuff and then and then like the next year he's with a sword grand master and he and the guys tell him like you're too bulky bro you can't swing the sword right gotta trim down and he's like okay and he loses like muscle mass because so that he can operate the sword like a master swordsman and all the while learning english and and and people don't

know this running his fitness empire that you probably never heard of arnold sold weights and became a millionaire from selling workout equipment while he was doing all that other stuff and i never even heard of an arnold schwarzenegger weight but he was a millionaire when he was mr universe you know way back then like like as he's learning english and getting into these movies like red sonja and conan the barbarian and all that stuff like he's he's already like made his living with his workout equipment twins came later um much later in his career that that was a big one. He made so much money from that. They sat down and came up with that shit on a napkin and him and DeVito got

percentages off the back end of that film. Big ones. He got 15-20% of the gross of a movie that made hundreds of millions of dollars. That's awesome. Apparently they got an unusually good deal for Twins and now they have more money than they need.

They were talking about making twins too, and I think I've told Woody this before, but the premise was this. They get to their father's funeral, Schwarzenegger and DeVito, and they play one of those video wills or whatever, and they discover that there is a third brother. More genetic material was left over, and it's Eddie Murphy. They should make that. it was all in the works

and murphy was on board and then it fell apart i heard schwarzenegger talking about it a while back it's a shame eddie murphy's brother died that's a shame too i like charlie murphy he was funny apparently that whole basketball story about prince was a true thing. Yeah, Prince confirmed it. Yeah, we balled. We balled. But if you listen to the stories and, like, you know, who Charlie Murphy was through most of his life, kind of a dick, right? Like, he was fighting people and hitting people over total nonviolent, like, offenses, you know?

Anyone looks at Eddie Murphy wrong, and Charlie Murphy is going full ghetto on him. Oh, that's what you need? Through most of his life was just like, take a step back, take a step back. And I get it. It's neat to have a mindless pit bull sycophant brother who thinks that you hung the moon. brother who thinks that like you hung the moon but when you really come down to judging a man if he spent that much of his life just like fighting over stupid stuff you never know what he might have kept covered up you know murphy's gay eddie murphy's gay everybody knows that that is true i bet charlie murphy beat up a few people who are going to talk about that i did not know

that i bet charlie murphy put some fucking guy in a headlock and was like, I'm not going to tell nobody fucking shit. Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy.

Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy.

Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy's not gay. Start Googling. But I really like, if you go back to, there's an Eddie Murphy special. Because if Google says it, fuck yeah.

Yeah, Google knows everything. Eddie Murphy's doing the special, and you can hear some lady yell out or something, and you can hear Charlie Murphy then scream shut the fuck up bitch yeah I'm not seeing anything for is Eddie Murphy gay Eddie Murphy busted with transsexual prostitute in 1997 ah well that's different right

yeah because as I say that's some people's things right because like who is it somebody was like yeah Norton. That's right. That's someone who is I was born into a man's body but if I believed that I should have been born

into a woman's body and I feel that way I would transition to a female body and maybe have some operations and stuff. Though that's not required. But my general mindset and belief that I should have been a woman and me carrying on those characteristics would make me a transsexual i will say she was a woman in spirit but with guy parts i think if you pick up in 97 though that was a 1997 transsexual huge difference between a 1997 transsexual and a 2017 transsexual

i'm just saying in 1997 she probably could have been a forward for the bull. That's pretty my space, so shit's real. Yeah. No hormones. That was a hairy-knuckled night for Eddie Murphy, I'm just saying. Hairy-knuckled night. Yes. He'd put his donkey gloves on.

That way he'd prepare. She said that she had an intimate relationship with him for years it began when she was 17 and she sued him for 1.2 million dollars and that's the one we know about wow yeah i'm saying eddie murphy he likes the cock a little of it so but but not eddie murphy doesn't like the cock nearly nearly as much as john travolta wait well that goes on St. Travolta oh man well I could do this all day Will Smith's gay too I don't think any of these things I'm not making John Travolta has been sued by the men he's molested the masseuses and stuff he's he gets grabby I remember that and that was

the new stuff I do Will Smith. What did Will Smith do? Do you really have one for him? I don't think there's any actual evidence, but there's been talk of it for a long time. And they say that Jada is also gay. A product of gay sex, yeah. Yeah, well...

No, but the first two... I love it. You just keep going down this rabbit hole of people that are like, yeah, I hear Chris Pratt's gay too. What? What? I don't have any proof. You watch Guardians

of the Galaxy and you disagree. He's into blue chicks and stuff like that. Yeah, she's green. yeah right her sister's blue i don't know i don't know that's sick to think that he'd go after this sister maybe you've got issues yeah that's the that's the incestuous situation do you think that's how when you got two twin sisters fucking each other obviously okay yeah of course like crazy so what if they're not twin sisters and they're having sex yeah it's fine but they're sisters yeah when does this get bad i'm just seeing if you're okay with incest up to a point

i'm trying to measure where that point is established I'm good with incest early on in the show. Week after week. Oh, I don't know. I've just made a bunch of references to how it's... I feel like... I mean, I fuck my wife, you know? Strong heart. I don't know. Actually, yeah, you're the one

who was like, why don't guys fuck their sisters? Not... You're kind of misquoting me, but it was more like how can a 14-year-old that's daydreaming about fucking everything in sight, who has like a 16-year-old hot sister down the hall, not daydream about her too?

And everyone's like, yeah, what are you wrong? That totally doesn't happen. I think society has all agreed not to talk about it. No. No, I think most people just don't want to talk about it. No. No, I think most people just don't want to fuck family members. Yeah, that's it. Maybe you know all the dirt on them, and it just doesn't even come close to being that attraction.

I don't know. Well, it's because having sex with a sibling or a first cousin or something is going to very quickly ruin your gene pool. And it's not good. It's not healthy. You need that variation. First cousin? I don't know. No, first cousin's

not okay. I should check state by state. I think most states... There's a difference between okay and legal, goddammit! Yeah, like, it may be legal, but it's not okay. Okay, I thought we were talking about legal, but we were just on a different page there. No, we're talking about...

Because when you go to okay, clearly we're talking about brothers and sisters. It's still cool, right? No, it's not okay because you're going to get a seven-toed kid or something eventually. Eventually, but I mean just to make sure your kids don't do it. Or maybe right away. Why roll the dice?

There's a lot of people out there who aren't your family that you could be having sex with. What group is it that does that? There's a oh oh british royalty yeah no no there's another group where like a common thing when you meet someone is to like all right let's check it out and see if we're related it's not mormons right i think no uh uh jewish people jewish people in some areas yeah i want to say smaller jewish in smaller jewish communities i think they'll get like a dna test because like the communities like are so close you might not even know they're like oh this person's too close to me so obviously that's no no good because they got so many of them back in the day

so i'm, this is perfect. There's a Wikipedia article on which states you can marry your first cousin. Harry! Just in case anyone's wondering. See, goddammit, you always go back to marriage. Well, I didn't think fuck would work in the Google search. I didn't think... So in the blue ones, it's legal. In the light the blue ones it's legal in the light blue ones it's legal with

exceptions and i've looked into this before obviously uh the exceptions are usually like no one in your family like the previous generation can't also be first cousins fuck so all those blue ones are pretty good. Bandwidth exceptions, now that I'm not sure. So it looks like North Carolina, a little bit of requirements or exceptions, you know? The exceptions are that states such as New Jersey actually, some states recognize marriage is performed elsewhere. Other states such as New Jersey actually encourage it, especially when the spouse is not residents of the state when married.

That's weird. Carolina's exception is sterility requirement to marry a cousin. Oh, that's not an exception. It says no. I really don't know what our exception is, why we're light blue. I don't know.

I actually thought it was going to be more than half, but it's less than half, I think. You don't want to marry your first cousin. Just fuck her. Actually, you know what? Those are all like the flyover states. They might not be that populated. I wonder by population if there's more in the blue or the red there. How much per capita incest do you have there in Utah, sir?

Yeah, I feel like if this is an election, we just need to swing Pennsylvania and the first cousins can win. No, everybody should be on the same page of not fucking your family members. I just noticed the first cousins have New York

and California. Yeah, I mean, California is insane. You think the conservatives have a hard road up to the top. Incest is winning the country over. I can see that now. It's winning the country over. It's sweeping coast to coast. Incest is winning.

That's all that graph says to me. Yeah, and they got Florida. Lots of sibling and cousin incest in new york california and florida can you imagine accidental incest like you meet someone and you fall in love with them and then you discover that's your first cousin have you guys done the um 23andme stuff or ancestries or i have one of those i have a dna test upstairs one of the things you spit in and get the results i keep forgetting to do it that shit's pretty fucking scary uh how accurate it is because i oh yeah i said again i set up a fake email address right and i went and got one

of those gift cards that you know the visas that you can um put money on and everything and so i did the whole registration thing through a completely anonymous away right where no email address nothing could tie back to me and i was like all right cool let's see what they come up with because they'll ping you and ask you if you want to know uh certain people in the area or in the country that may be related to you and sure enough family members who who ended ended up doing the test and they had their profile pictures and stuff, right in there. It's like, wow, that's pretty crazy.

I'd like to see you do it twice and see how close the results match. Oh, yeah. Did you get anything unique? Like, oh, I didn't know I had Mongolian in me or something? unique like oh i didn't know i had mongolian in me or like no uh it was it was mainly european like irish english um ancestry and um i wasn't genetically predisposed to really any kind of diseases or conditions or anything along those lines um yeah yeah that was kind of exciting to see um but you know this whole time i thought you were wearing a goddamn medallion around your neck because your microphone is at the end of that necklace and i wasn't i didn't stare at it i was just like oh richard seems to

be wearing an enormous medallion tonight oh man so and i was like it's probably like one of those coins that snipers shoot or something it's probably i won't even bring it man so and i was like it's probably like one of those coins that snipers shoot or something it's probably i won't even bring it up but then i was like that's not a goddamn medallion what is this it's so funny that uh so i every time i've i've been on here i've been at like a different place uh and where i'm moving and whatnot so in utah now i have like most of my stuff set up there at the coffee shop and everything so I moved here in Nashville from one spot to another and the way I'd set up before would have the mic a little bit lower and and the the camera up here and I was

like scrambling before we started I was like oh fuck how do I set this up so that my mic's not like blocking the camera or anything because i don't have a boom or anything like that and uh i was like all right well shit like the last time i had like this this pelican case no joke like the 50 cal case was holding the microphone sitting on my lap with the camera here now i'm like i don't have anything in my apartment. I have a couch, a bed, and a safe. And your lucky medallion. Yeah. My gangster ham bone here.

I was like, dang, that's kind of getting on a Flavor Flav territory. I won't say anything, but if next show it's even bigger, I got to bring it up. I start getting piercings and grills and shit, and they're like, what is going on with Richard? but if next show it's even bigger I gotta bring it up if I look on twitter and they're like what is going on with Richard rap yeah anybody need to hear from Kyle I think I covered it all check out HelloFresh, Dollar Shave Club

and Squarespace down in the links below yeah that's all I have where do we find your cool stuff Richard Check out HelloFresh, Dollar Shave Club, and Squarespace down in the links below. Yeah, that's all I have. Where do we find your cool stuff, Richard? I mean, I guess the stuff we referenced, if you want to see me jump out of the B17, that'll be up on FullMag on YouTube and all that good stuff. Man, we put up so many videos on Rated Red. You might have to Command-F in the videos or something to be able to find the fun stuff driving and everything but

you know yeah you know you know I'm I'm a Google search away check him out check Richard out pka episode 337