Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #338

Episode Date: June 16, 2017

This week on PKA, famous rapper & musician YONAS is on the show! Guys talk about latest incident with a rapper getting KO'd, the Comey hearing in regards to the Donald Trump investigation and Taylor slowly melts away while he does the show with no air conditioning.

All right, Painkiller already. Episode 338 with our guest Jonas. Kyle? Yeah, several sponsors tonight. Nature Box, Movement Watches, Pro Flowers, Bowling Branch, and Smart Mouth. We'll get to those later on. Links in the description if you're curious. But yeah, let's get right to our guest Jonas here. How you doing, buddy? Doing good, doing good. Thank you guys for having me. I'm a fan of the show. I actually just got put onto it recently, so I'm a new fan so so thanks for having me so recently as in like before you got invited or after like like how recent like almost we're 39 seconds in now that's about how long

I've been watching your show I haven's like, I haven't seen all 300 episodes or anything, but like I know your names because you told me a few minutes ago. There you go. There you go. Seriously appreciate it though. That's good. That's alright man.

I just did my homework on you today. I'm not sure I'm your demo. If you have a lot of... are you big in the dad market? I don't know. Just surprisingly, it goes through the soccer mom market first, but then it gets to the dad market. Introduced by the wives. I get it.

I get it. Yeah. Yeah, well, I hopefully dig it, though, the music. Yeah. I only got the chance to listen to one or two songs, but I did like them. So how long have you been doing this, doing the rapping? Is it a full-time thing for you? Is it more like transitioning from hobby to full-time, or where are you at in that whole process?

I've been doing it for the last seven years professionally, and we've been doing it for the last seven years professionally and you've been touring I've been on four nationwide tours and I've put out seven albums so I'm pretty I'm in the thick of it now. Yeah that's not a hobby. No no. Yeah at that point. Yeah. Awesome. Full time. Did you always want to do that like as a little kid were you like i want to be like a rapper or that kind of good i thought i was the next derrick jeter uh so i i was into

sports baseball specifically and i thought that was going to be where i ended up but uh i started smoking weed and going to house parties and discovered rap is uh it was something that kind of so you decided to be a basketball player more money anyway there you go there you go yeah everybody has that that i think every guy at least wants to be a professional athlete at least for like 10 months when they're a kid because you never know and you just have that dream because you watch your guy on TV doing it. That's an American thing. That's what I'm wondering. I'm wondering if it's an American thing because I don't know anything about the upbringing of non-American children. So I'm asking our audience right now, was that a thing for you growing up, this striving for excellence as a child,

thinking that maybe you could reach for the highest levels of physical competition? Because every American boy does that at one point. Like, if you're eight years old and you start playing Little League or whatever, you start watching the Braves or the Mets, whoever your team is, and you're watching, you know, Beltran or whoever, the greatest in the world play, and you're like, I might be able to do that. And some kids, you know, one year of Little League and you figure out you can't. Some people get to high school.

Sometimes you're in high school and you think, I might be able to get there. Certainly to the next level. There's plenty of college players who are like, I can get to AAA. There's hundreds and hundreds of AAA players who still have it in their head as grown-ass men. I can get to the big show at least for a week or two. That's the interesting thing for me. Like when you figure out you don't have it, right? There's a point in your life where you're like,

you know what? I'm just not trending towards pro. I started late. I was a swimmer. In my senior year, by the end of my senior year, I had a couple school records, and I was fifth in the state, and I was like, I could be an Olympian.

It could happen. I don't know. So then I go to college. You were fifth in the state. That's pretty damn damn good but it turns out there's a lot of states delaware yeah yeah so so like even fifth in the state is like 250th in the country and you know what they call that guy they don't call him anything they don't know who that guy yeah exactly where it's like did you know that venus or serena williams played the number 200 ranked tennis player that It's like that story where it's like, did you know that Venus or Serena Williams played the number 200 ranked tennis player

that was a man and lost? And it's like, wow, that's really neat. But you know what? Given the opportunity to jump into one of those people's lives, I'm taking one of the fucking Williams sisters every time because nobody knows who the fuck that guy is. Who cares? At some point in most people's lives,

you're like, yeah, you know what? I made a good run at it, and I'm not trending towards actually achieving that goal. I hope accounting is fun. To Kyle's point, I bet they dream about being athletes as well. It's just not basketball, baseball, football, and hockey. It's all their football. They all want to be messy over there, kicking it as hard as they can, doing the best, you know, practicing their falls, their embellishments.

Maybe that's why they're... That might very well be true, but I just think that, like, I wonder if it's like I described, because for me, and I mean, every kid that was my age, every guy, like, we all played a sport pretty much, and we all had, for me, it was like when i was like 14 or something i was like i'm not gonna be a professional baseball player because i can't throw hard enough and i can't run fast enough and my bat speed's not good enough it's not gonna fucking happen

uh and i i realized it it was just clear it was just clear that there were other baseball players in my little piddling area who could throw harder. And their bats, I was like, whoa, what kind of bat do you have? Oh, the same one I've got. Okay, you've also got the $500 bat. I just can't swing it as fucking hard as you can or as fast as you can. That's what it was. Ah, okay. That asshole need a dunk?

Ah, I need new sneakers. Oh, my God. That was the other thing. I never played basketball with any aspirations of doing anything other than having fun with friends. That was one i immediately like some i talked about how sometimes and you know the first year of little league you figure out i'm not gonna be a pro baseball player the first time i bounced a basketball i knew i was like oh fuck how i like my finger like i knew right away i had no and one skills like it wasn't coming they were i wasn't going to develop them uh it just wasn't coming dude speaking of and one i've been watching the professor do you guys do

you know who the professor is oh yeah the professor you know he's like a legend streetball legend yeah well i don't know a youtube video of that guy a youtube video of his got recommended to me on youtube you know the front page i watched it and watched another and watched another and watched another, and this guy's dressed in his Spider-Man, and I like it when he takes on good players, you know? Like, it's one thing to school me. Anyone can do that. But when he, like, takes on a D1 guy

or, like, a European pro or something, that's... I like that a lot. I do know that guy. When you mentioned the Spider-Man thing, I liked watching those videos when he does he does that crazy stuff another thing that was interesting to me uh do you know who arty lang is the comedian who's doing the stern show real heavy set yeah i'm waiting to see where this goes because i know he can't dunk all right so so about 17 years ago on the stern show i am probably wrong about the exact day but anyway they're arguing about his basketball skills

because howard had this thing where he played basketball against a guy and the guy just stomped his ass and then they all made fun of Howard and it was a whole thing. And Artie starts talking about his skills and he says, I could beat any female fucking Division

1 college basketball chick in a one-on-one. Any of them. Bring them all in. The Andy Kaufman approach. Yeah. He says, I can take any female Division I collegiate basketball player. And they start laughing at him and just dogging him. And they start giving him points. And then the betting starts.

And then they're like, you know what? Give me a minute. Let's get somebody in here to play you. And they get this chick who went to the final. I don't remember her exact credentials, but I'm pretty sure she was like the fifth man or the sixth man off the bench or whatever at Duke when they went to the final four or maybe UNC or something like that. Like a six foot two blonde chick who's pretty pretty and still had skills.

And she comes in and she's talking so much smack like in studio. And this is like four or five shows in the making on the stern show it keeps they come back like guess what remember already talked shit well we got a basketball player so finally they get an arena together they get announcers they get referees they get a crowd they get an outdoor and they fucking play and are and already goes down by like eight ten 10 points, something like that. He's getting stomped and he starts making shots. He starts

making shots and he starts fucking boxing her out. And he starts coming back and they're like he can't come back! I think he comes all the way back to the point where he needs to make a basket to win and then I don't remember how it ended

oh my god you're typically such a good storyteller i think she won i think she won i i think that's a huge loss for her because that's like if you know wayne gretzky or someone was like hey i bet i can really deke you out out there on the ice like for like five minutes i'll have the puck and you won't even touch it and if i go out there and touch it like six seven times nobody's gonna be like wow you really got owned by wayne gretzky they're gonna be like no wayne gretzky's not quite as good as i thought he was because that guy's just futzing around out there. Like, if you're a WNBA, was it WNBA you said? Or high school? Yeah, collegiate.

Yeah, yeah. Apparently. Well, whatever. That's the same level of skill as WNBA probably. Because most of those girls don't even attempt to play in the WNBA. They don't even want to do it. According to Reddit, Artie was draining shots like he was Larry Bird. But he got tired because he was fat and out of shape.

And the girl came back and won. Yep. but he got tired because he was fat and out of shape, and the girl came back and won. Yep. And Reddit thinks that those outside shots should have counted for two, and then maybe he would have actually won. I think they should have, too.

Their rules were a little messed up. I do remember that. I linked it there, and if anybody's curious about this, it's like an hour-long video on YouTube where they compiled, like, five shows worth. Just search, like, Artie'sty's basketball challenge and you'll find it and they've got in his video because you know the stern show videoed all that shit back in the day and you get the whole game's on video i was never we were talking about sports and where like you get shut down like that moment when you realize like oh fuck like i'm woefully outmatched

what was that with baseball for you yonas where you realized like oh god damn it i'm gonna have to start rapping well i mean that would imply I realized that, right? So I never, I never realized it. I think I was so focused on just like practice, you know, practice, practice, practice makes perfect. And shit, you know, I was just giving my best every day. And, you know, I never had that moment where I like realized, okay, I can't actually that's a that's a full-on lie okay so back in high school uh my team actually went to the state championship right and i was the starting second baseman um for for my team for at least yeah for the beginning of the game it didn't end there right um and so i we went up against this pitcher. I forget his name, the opposing team's pitcher.

But the first pitch, I'd never seen someone throw it that fast because we had been playing, I guess, lesser teams to get there. And when I first saw it come down the plate and I actually heard the ball pass me, like a whiz pass me, I said, OK, this might be it. That shit had wind on it did you hear that that's like a fucking bullet i know exactly what you're talking about there's just a different level and there's a bunch of different levels but if you've been at one for a while and then all of a sudden you hear that there's just a way a bat sounds when it hits a ball sometimes you're like whoa who the fuck's doing batting practice do you hear that who's here like did they invite somebody to like give us some like special batting practice is fucking you know is one of the braves here today because because you could hear that

fucking crack it's and the rest of us are out there ping you know just wear aluminum bats and shit and there's just a different level and i guess that's true for every sport i bet you know in basketball there's just god did you see how fast he is yeah yeah and he's 6'4 240 like like how does that work basketball that's the thing it's like i'm i'm 5'11 6 foot on a good day um so basketball wasn't really an option for me you gotta be i like that i like that little dicky song where he's like he's like bitch i'm 5'11 up on tinder i'm six feet i i say that I'm six foot with proper shoes. In the right footwear, I'm easily six foot. Whenever I go to hang out with Richard Ryan, if we're going to be doing something, I put my fucking boots on.

And I'm hoping that motherfucker has his flats. Richard's like 6'3", 6'4", on a good day. And he's just a big fucking dude. It's funny how much you have a history of thinking about that. Like I never think when I'm about to like go out, like, oh, I better wear my tall guy shoes. But like even when we took pictures together like seven years ago in Joliet,

like you know how group pictures go. You're only like the knees of the waist up and we're all together in a group. And every time without fail, as someone's taking the picture, Kyle gets up on his we're all together in a group. And every time, without fail, as someone's taking the picture, Kyle gets up on his tippy toes. I invented that move. That's my move.

I did it forever. I was always the tippy-toe guy, and it got to the point. There is a picture of Kyle and I full-on jumping together. I am levitating. You can see that my legs are at full extension because my knees are even like buckled. Because I'm like, I'm like, I'm like at my full extension. I'm at like, I'm like 6'8 in that picture. The reason that I used to do it is because I had like, like nobody knew how tall I was.

And there would be pictures of me with, and I'm 6'1", 6'2", if the shoes are right. And so in all these pictures that people would see of me, I'm usually, like, towering over these fuckers, and they don't know this guy was 5'8". They're like, God damn, how big is he? And I like that. I like playing off that, and I really like fucking with people's heads. So from then on, like, if I met a tall fucker,

I'd always make sure I got one on him. My friend Bruno, he's like 6'3", 6'4", on a good day, and a big Marine motherfucker, and I knew he was going to post this picture of us on Facebook, we're all posing together by a helicopter with guns and shit, and all of his Marine buddies are like, how fucking big is that Russian motherfucker? Bruno, Bruno, how much bigger than you is he? And I'm thinking, like, Bruno outweighs me by like 70 pounds or something like that. And because I, like, puffed up in the picture and got up on my, like, tippy toes so that I could barely even stand,

I look like a bigger than this giant marine motherfucker. His name is Bruno, so he's either very gay or very tough. That's not his real name. I just don't want to use his real name. It's something similar to that. And then Harley, of course. When I take pictures with Harley, I'd always try to get one over on him because he's 6'7". Yeah, when you go to Kyle's house and like, oh, can I get a picture?

He goes, oh, yeah, come over here to the picture-taking hill. Stand right there below me. Part of it for me, I take pictures with a lot of fans. And one, I guess I like being taller. There's a certain vanity to it. But another, it was always a laugh line. Like, you know, their buddy's taking a picture or whatever, and they're like, alright, say cheese. That's when I pop onto the tippy toes, and then there's this shot of them only up to here on me, and everyone would get a laugh out of it. To me,

I'm just telling the same joke night after night. But to them, it's new. So that's what I would do. There you go. I mean, no one's going to notice your tippy-toeing unless it's a full-on shot. So all they're going to remember is you got one over. Although I will say this. When I meet people in person, they're often surprised I'm not taller. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. That's what I don't get about it is you're setting yourself up for failure in a way. Like, Kyle, you've taken so many photos of you mid-air out there that most people are going to meet you and be like, this is FPS Russia? This is FPS Russia. FPS Russia is 6'7". I read it on Wikipedia. It's on his page. Yeah, look at that.

And if FPS Russia were here, he'd bend over and kill the English with fireballs from his arms. I am FPS biggest rusher. Brave for humor. Yeah, it's just brave for humor. A little levity. Can we do your topic, Kyle? You want to talk about Comey? Because fucking Comey stood up today.

Oh, I was going to do the rapper. I want to talk about the rapper. Let's do the rapper first. All right, I just want to say, Comey is 6'8". I just want to make sure I don't forget that later. He's 6'8". He's 6'8". He's crouching.

Yeah. He's got the opposite problem. The Secret Service got, like, such a pussy next to him. It was like, that guy's protecting that one? I saw one picture of him because when I knew he was 6'8", like, a year ago or whatever, and I heard that, I'm like, that can't be right because you only see these people sitting down I looked up a picture of him standing with Obama and there is no wonder that Obama was probably like hey Maybe uh, maybe don't be in any more pictures with me

This was the first photo I ever saw of Obama I'd be like how short is this little dude See this is a little 5'3, you fella? But no, he's just enormous. Obama's like 6'2", right? So he's not short. It's just Comey is a monster. He's like the same height as Trump, but Trump lies about his height. And it's hard to tell which is real. He doesn't lie about the height.

I heard that one of the reasons that Trump fired Comey was that he was so much taller than he was. I doubt that's true. No, no, I swear to God. They announced today his new pick for FBI director, Gary Coleman. No, he's dead. It was actually Danny DeVito. That was fake news. They're, what is it called, embalming him or exhuming him. They have a whole body of Gary Coleman

sitting there on the desk. Trump had him exhumed years ago. He bought him from the CBS Corporation. It's like a good luck charm. He rubs his head every time before a business deal. It seems like the Michael Jackson estate would own that guy's remains. Like, it just...

Pretty much. Michael Jackson already had his part about boy. They don't get any... I want to talk about the rapper, dude. Oh, no, it's all good. We're flowing. We're flowing. How about the rapper dude It's like xxx Tenation yeah xxx nation

Know this guy, but I you said that you'd seen him before we've got this video here I think we should all queue at zero and basically what's gonna happen here is this xxx tenation guy is on stage performing in front of a... I can't tell how big the crowd is. I don't know if it's hundreds or thousands, but it's a bunch of people. You know, you see the cell phones. Everybody's got cell phones recording this shit. And then out of nowhere, a guy comes from stage left and cold cocks him, just sucker punches him and knocks him the fuck out with one hit. And apparently the guy doing the beating is like a,

they're calling him a rival rappers thug. And they like, they named the other rapper, but I don't see it here. And I don't recall what his name was. There's nobody. He was just as well known as XXX tenation. So,

so what we do is we press play on the video, cue it up at zero, and then we'll count down and watch it at the same time. I'm good. Is everybody queued up at zero? I we'll count down and watch it at the same time. I'm good. Is everybody queued up at zero? I don't know how to queue up. Just press play and let it buffer. Got it.

And then hit pause. Okay. Pretty brutal clip. Jesus. I'll give you a nice Taylor I feel like you're cheating You're really giving it away I'm not cheating I didn't watch it

You totally said it was a brutal clip And you're like You've done the reaction video already Are we all ready I got a few here I was the one linked in Skype. It's the one linked in Skype. Yeah, it's that one.

I got Ari's basketball challenge. It's the one above that. Oh, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. I linked Ari again, goddammit. Great link. Yeah, it's just a gift. You can even just watch it here. Wow. Yeah, that's how I know it's just a gif. You can even just watch it here. Wow.

Yeah, that's how I know it's happening. You lie. You lie. All right, cool. All right, we're ready to go, I think. All right. Three, two, one, play. Whoa. Whoa.

Sorry, I'm sorry. Whoa! Wow! The crowd is out cold. What are they chanting? We'll probably stop it there. Yeah, yeah. That audio was rough. It was awful. It was terrible. So he hit him so hard and the guy couldn't have been more unaware um i i read that the the guy who got hit there is blaming the security in part he thinks that they sort of collaborated with this guy and were like like let him slip up onto the side of the stage

there and do his thing um it didn't seem like they were collaborating with him very much afterwards, though, because that one guy who comes left to right with that crazy punch, I don't know what that was, that shovel punch that he threw into the guy's ribs, he was not playing any shit, and it looked like the guy took quite a beating himself on the way out. And then they pick up the rapper and carry him out like jesus it was i love the multiple angles that's that's like oh yeah that's the future that's what we got now that's you could put all those things together and get a three-dimensional fucking vr thing we could get in and watch that guy get his ass whipped and that's gonna last for all eternity now but it's. Woody, do you think this guy's a punk now after watching him get dicked down like that on stage?

So we talked about it beforehand, and Kyle just described it. The guy came in, he decked him, and he was out cold and whatever. And then he's like, then the security really roughed him up. And I was like, you know, hearing this story, I don't feel like the rapper came out ahead. Like if it was 50 Cent, maybe he would have taken down the bad guy or something. Now that I've seen it, I don't know. Like, he was distracted.

The guy came at him from the blind somehow. Yeah, you can't say he got punked. He's got the right back. He didn't get a chance to see it coming, defend himself. Exactly. And square up, you know what I'm saying? Like, I feel like he should have at least got a chance to do it.

That thing was telegraphed from 30 feet away, without exaggeration. That guy ran and brought it in. Super Saiyan backstage! There was a whole kata he did, and he got all wound up back there. He came out and knew what he was doing.

He hit him with the force of, like, jousting with a lance or something. Like, that was outrageous. He may have broken the guy's jaw. Because, like, the guy's sitting there completely relaxed. He's talking, right? He's laughing or whatever. Did he break his jaw? I'm just guessing.

Because, like, in a fight, you know, it's the opposite unless you're breathing. You got your jaw tense. But this guy's having a conversation, and then he gets blindsided like that, and could easily fucking break his jaw that way. Especially as hard as that guy hit him. And the guy who got hit, I don't know how big these people are, you can never tell, but he doesn't look like a big dude. No, I think he's kind of a skinny dude. The way this guy gets hit, he could have died easily. Fallen cracked his head open or something like that. But if I just, to Woody and Kyle, or Jonas, if you're ever there,

if my rap career ever takes off and I get knocked out on stage, do not let anyone carry me off like this. Like I'm a baby in one thing. He was not carrying him like Jesus. Like if you're a man and you get knocked out, you need at least two friends to reach under your arms and then one on the feet and to carry you off with a little bit of dignity.

Like this, like this, like you might just be drunk. They got to let your feet angle for the illusion that you're still there a little. It's like you're Hillary Clinton and you just passed out, right? They got to prop you up like a little marionette and just kind of like walk you out there. Did you scroll down and see his picture? This guy to me is like the black Justin Bieber in terms of toughness. Oh, shit.

Really? He's pretty fit. He's got frosted tips. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And then some. Look, Justin Bieber is in shape, too. You know, like, Justin Bieber's pretty athletic,

but somehow that doesn't translate into toughness. That's how I see this guy. Yeah. Yeah, but he talks a lot, too. I don't know if you guys... Like, he makes headlines for starting shit, so he kind of got what was coming to him, to be honest. This guy, extravagant, or extravagant,

I like that better. What has he been like, what has been something he's trumped up on social media? What has he known? He accused Drake of stealing his music and stealing his style. And that's the most

notable one. And Drake, obviously, it's just like, who's this little peasant? I'm not responding to that. But yeah, he's been out there you know making some waves and I think like locally to like other artists from where he's from I don't know where he's from but from his area yeah he's kind of started issues with them so so I guess the Incredible Hulk with a hoodie came in and got him have not care for those tweets one bit. This is

going to be in a rap song. That's the best part because so often when rappers are going at each other, I mean, sometimes it's real personal shit. I saw a rap battle the other day. They had those professional rap battles with crowds and shit like from 8 Mile. I don't know any of their names,

but I think they were in the UK. This one guy who I think was from California is there battling a guy who's in the uk and the guy in the uk is very good oh i think i saw that i saw that the california guy brings up the fact that like he cheated on his fat girlfriend or fiance or something and like all this personal inside shit on him and he's like you got to go back to that fat bitch tonight and like like all this shit about how he cheated on his fiancee with this other trashy whore and how like they're all nasty and how he's a piece of shit and how his girl's a piece of shit and how he knows it and how he begged them not to even say this he's like he's like you made a deal with them you didn't make a deal with me. And he just starts ripping them.

And whenever he gets to the part where he says, whenever, yeah, maybe. When he gets to the part where he's going to say the fiance's name or the other girl's name, he doesn't say it. He points at a guy, one of his hype men, and that guy yells it real tough, right? Like, Diane! So he can say it. Like, Diane! So he can say it. It's like some sort of legalese to say that he didn't actually say the woman's name and bring it up.

But he's just – and the guy almost cries at the end. And he lost. That was the end. Do you remember the one – we watched it like two years ago or maybe even three. He ripped out a fat guy. Yeah. Uncomfortable to be around. Yeah.

He said he was uncomfortable to be around because he was fat. He was talking about his short lifespan. He went hard after that guy. Do you know who I'm talking about? Yeah, he did. That was like some – that was more psychology than anything. Like I felt bad for the other dude just because he was hitting him with the truth. He didn't make it. It wasn't like I'm saying this because it's a hot line.

I'm saying this because, bro, you have issues, and I'm just going to put them on display in front of all these people, and you're fat. You're fucking huge. And he didn't stop there. He wasn't just like, you're big, you'll die soon, and you smell bad. He's like, what does that say about you as a man? What does that say about you that you're this?

It says this, this, and that. Here's the proof. Look at you. And it's like, God damn, he's hammering this guy into shit right now. It was – I loved it. I loved that clip. I don't like that. I haven't seen this clip, so I don't know how big this guy is.

But you kind of just – if you go into a rap battle where you know people are going to be as mean as possible to get under your skin and to win and to make the crowd entertained you probably should steer clear if you're 350 400 pounds like it's not gonna because people are gonna look at you and go oh i spent all last night thinking up clever quips and you've walked in with the best one of all thank you so much i don't even have to think about this i'm just gonna like you know unless your whole thing as a rapper is that you're fat and he you're the whole time you're rapping about how you're gonna sit on This little guy that's like that you're rapping against is like fucking I don't have to fight you I'll just fucking sit on you. No, no, no That won't work that won't work because that's like a five-foot one

Rapper coming in and being like does it bother me that I'm short you can't get to me I've got my own step ladders, you know or whatever the fuck I say he's going to say. And it's like, no, no, no. You're not fooling anyone. You're insecure about it. It's almost five minutes long, but I'd love to watch it. How are you guys feeling about it? Is it too long? I really enjoy watching that fat man get shamed.

You could link us to that. But he's watching on his phone, so the audio is going to play back through. Oh, yeah, that's true yeah that's it's risky business yeah so but but but it's really fucking good um i i love that thing i guess we can trans uh well i want to talk about a little more the rap battle thing from yonas's point of view have you yeah i'm sure you have experience doing it and you know yeah what is that like like what this is something i never get like i know they have like you have a plan of rhymes and like stuff that you have in your head because you're thinking

about it all the time how much of it in your experience is truly off the cuff and how much is like oh i know where to go from here so i would say uh the new school shit is all written so they write that ahead of time right and so a lot of the stuff even like the stuff you saw in the in the uh the uk with that that guy it's all written material um yeah but the way i used to go about it was true freestyle like off the top of your head and granted you're gonna get some lines that don't make any fucking sense but that's the point you know i'm saying you kind of just you know juggle your way through it if you're easy it would't be oppressive exactly exactly and and the more you do it the more practice you have at it the better you actually get so you know i like that type of battle just because it shows someone's true you know wit and true ability to like you know on the

spot come up with something and tear somebody apart um but you know nowadays it's all written material do you have any bad memories of like getting just roasted in a rap battle? There was one party where I smoked way too much. I smoked way too much and I probably drank a little too much. And so and it was like it was like known that I was like, you know, one of the bigger rappers in my neighborhood. And this other kid was kind of right there with me. And so it was kind of this fucking 8 mile moment that it could have been but I was way too fucking high and I just wasn't I wasn't even able to

put together sentences that made any kind of sense whatsoever and it was Did you just like shake your fist at the sky at all those like rappers who led you astray God damn it Snoop! You said to smoke weed every day! Every day! I didn't know it was because you were trying to limit competition in this industry.

You're like tearing up Chronic albums, like false prophets. You eat your Snoop Dogg for real and he's like, No, I never touch this stuff. You know? Oh, that would be the best mindfuck ever if you met Snoop Dogg and he was like, I don't smoke the devil's cabbage. Are you insane? I'm a businessman.

And he just, like, does a legit evil laugh like you see in the movies. I'm trying to raise the barrier to entry. I was more pissed than my friends for letting me get into that shit. They pushed me into that. They were like, yo, go for it. Let's get it. Oh, they're just like those people who put you on stage to do karaoke, right? Like, when they know you're fucked.

I love that. Because, like, drunk karaoke is bad. If you're at karaoke at a bar or something, I'd much, much rather hear the worst singer in the bar sing than the best singer in the bar. That's me anyway, especially if I'm drinking. There are exceptions. I can remember nights where, like, some guy got up on stage and you're like damn like is that silo for real is he up there right now like he's seeing it it sounds like him but then like i remember put getting our lithuanian friend who who had spoke broken english to go up on stage and sing patsy klein oh my god that's the most that's the funniest

shit i've ever seen in my life i wish I still had that cell phone recording of that. We used to get that. That's where I was about to go to. I was like, thank god. That was at a time where there wasn't a lot of camera phones and shit. Because if there was camera phones, I might not be here right now. I was the only one that had the video. I got the first one that had video.

I still remember it was this blue flip phone i've seen uh if you watch the office this is kind of a stupid thing to notice but like right it's the same phone ryan howard uses in the office but but it was like it was like a 400 phone in like 2003 and uh and that bitch took video and i was so proud of my like shitty like i videoed everything and i'd be like, yeah, it's a video camera. And people's minds would have blown. I love that thing. You had a $400 phone back then?

I bought it with my money. I saved up some money. That's now the phone that if you go to the AT&T store, it's in that dusty corner where they're like, oh, take that one. Take that one, poor person. Biggest downside to the current

thing, the current style that phones are in, the flip phone was cool. That was an evolutionary path that should not have been shut down. There should be someone out there making flip phones. We shouldn't all just have a very thin tablet

of glass and steel or aluminum or whatever. There's definitely a market out there for flip phones. If you're older, there's a certain Star Trek cool thing to it. The idea that such a phone could exist and open and talk was... When that became a real life thing, it was

huge. I'm trying to think what the equivalent the equivalency today would be of pulling out a phone of pulling out a phone and doing that motion with your thumb you'd never open this thing up like it's a jewelry box with two hands it was pull that phone out and flick like like you're getting a switchblade out like hello person miles away tell me what what's the kind of knife called where the blade comes out from the handle like it extends straight instead of uh well that's uh the switchblade is swings out yeah that's what i think of i don't know if it's isn't a switchblade a stiletto isn't that like the technical word for it um maybe i don't know my knives well enough

but there was a phone that had the stick out from the handle kind of didn't it wasn't a flip phone you just pressed a button and it got like a few inches longer oh remember when he pulls out the phone and he squeezes it and then it pops out from the top and the bottom they made that fucking phone they made the matrix phone and i and I was trying to buy it, and I remembered it was, like, stupid expensive at the time, and you couldn't get them. But they made that phone. That doesn't seem like a cool idea.

Like, it seems like it's a cool thing to watch someone using a movie until, like, every time you want to use your phone, you have to squeeze it, and then the ends come out, and then you want to put it back, and you have to, like... It was cool, though, because what happened was... Jam the ends back in. Phones were getting smaller and smaller and smaller until they weren't much bigger than one of those pack of dentine.

But then it doesn't really reach your mouth properly. So they managed to make it dentine size, but then it would just pop open and the mic would be by your mouth. It was nice. And then, yeah, it was interesting to see how the phone thing went. Because I've always really been into phones, especially in the early part.

There weren't cell phones when i was 13 but there were cell phones when i was 15 and that's a weird thing to be part of right like children today like there were cell phones when you were three and there are cell phones now when you're 18 but but back then it was a new thing this this ability to talk to people who weren't fucking around anytime you wanted you know you noticed that like every tv show and movie like if you add cell phones they don't work anymore if you if you go back before the existence of cell phones it solves so many problems it made you so much higher on the tier of social levels because you don't have to wait by a goddamn phone at home like a we had a cordless phone or pay oh my god i never i've used a payphone like twice in my life but like i'm in a rural area that wasn't a thing

it was always if i want to money uh 1-800 collect because i don't know why i didn't have any fucking quarters but i always decided that 1-800 collect was i was the move i'm one of the kids they even know what you're talking about when you say collect call. If they've been locked up, they know. Other than that... Did you ever do the thing where you give a fake name or a code to save collect call money? Oh, yeah. Absolutely.

Can I tell who's calling? First name, can I? Last name, stay out longer? Wow. Wow. First name, Red. Last name, stay out longer. Wow. Wow. That's great. First name Red, last name Robin at seven. Wow, that's smart. I never even considered that.

I feel like that's a loophole that terrorists might exploit. That's fucking solid as hell. You can't get around that. Wow. First name is the last name BOM in place? Yes, he will accept charges. He will accept the charges. That's the crazy thing about BOMs too.

When you're trying to meet up with friends like think about that right you had to like call them tell them where you were at and stay there like like it couldn't be like this moving meetup spot where it's like okay i'll be here and then maybe text them if i move you have to stand right there wait for 30 minutes to an hour depending on if you know you're operating on colored people time um and and shit man that it just it changed uh culture and something was you were a little bit late to the show tonight and and they were like where's the guest i was like he's operating on colored people time it's a real thing i'm the captain by the way

uh you can still get that flip phone. They make the Jitterbug. Do you know what the Jitterbug is? It's that commercial they have on late at night or early in the morning where it's like, you know, the infomercial is like, our phone's hard and the button's small. You know, technology isn't easy to use anymore like it was back when we were churning butter. Introducing the

Jitterbug. Yeah, and it's this enormous flip phone with manhole cover-sized buttons so big old arthritic fingers can find them without too much trouble, and it's just a bunch of people being like, the same, you know, they just grab the crew from Life Alert and film it in the same studio right after.

Yeah. I don't know what I would do without my Jitterbug. My grandson still doesn't call, which makes me think same studio right after yeah i don't know what i would do without my theater bug uh my my grandson still doesn't call which makes me think it doesn't work no it does work ma'am it's funny like we're all here laughing at old people but my next phone's gonna be the iphone plus because i want bigger words oh do you for the tech like when i when my dad like needs help with something on his phone and he hands it to me with the text screen still open, I'm always like, what the fuck is wrong with your eyes?

Because it says, instead of, hey, you want to meet up for dinner around 7? We can see a movie after that. It's, hey, do you want to meet around 7? We can see a movie after that. It's like, jeez, get Plasic or something. The technology exists. I can read the text but sometimes the news like you know like there's apple news and you go and and it's like

all right which eye is my better one and here's my distance and and that's how i'm reading it taylor you can back me up on that better eye i came with the eye thing i catch myself sometimes closing my left eye to read but i i try not to do it because apparently that's bad to start at 26. Yeah. Probably so. Do you have any – does that worry your eyesight at all? Do you think the glasses are just always going to be a fix for that? Or do you have some hope somewhere, or would you even consider it, of some sort of surgery to give you – and I'm not talking about LASIK because maybe that doesn't work for exactly what you have. I don't think it does.

But what if we get some sort of – what if they start growing eyeballs, right? Like, and you can just get eyeballs, like 2010 vision eyeballs, and they're like eight grand a pop. Like, oh, yeah. If, I mean, I'm not going to be the guy who storms that beach where like it comes out on, you know, CNN that day, like new technology found, we can grow rat eyes into people eyes and put them in your head! I'm going to let 15 years after that

until it's just a thing where it's like, hey, I'm going to get an eye transplant. They're like, alright, you'll be home for dinner. That sort of level of expertise over it. And then I would try it. But I'd prefer to just get LASIK done, if I can do that. Because I do get worried about how fucking shit my eyes are. Because every time I

go in i'm like i get the whole thing in front of me and he starts playing the games the ab which one's better which one's worse and i always feel like i go in and i'm like yeah i'm starting to peter out i'm starting to level off like i'm not like accelerating into blindness and then he'll be like well another active year for these eyes especially mr lefty andy. It's like, God damn it. I already have the thing on my license that says I can't drive without assistance on my eyes. I'm hoping I can get LASIK, that insensitive asshole eye doctor, saying, Oh, yeah, you might not be able to because your corneas are too thin. It's like, Oh, yeah, that's just something you say.

It'd be like if a woman goes in for OBGYN. She's like, You know, me and my husband, we're thinking about having kids soon. And, you know, we don't know if we're going to stop at two, three. I've always wanted a big family,

a Mormon. He goes, Oh, not in the cards for you, ma'am. It's a couple of old cabbages up there. Nothing, nothing's happening.

You know, like, no, you don't want to be told that by the doctor, but yeah, I definitely want to improve my eyes if I can. And Lysic seems like, I mean,

you know, if they can snip your stomach apart and fix that shit for super fat people they can they can fuck you're lucky to be 26 though because like my eyesight's also deteriorating i think it's it's better than where you are but but my eyesight is just one of many things on like head to toe that i've got like oh yeah the knee that's hurt for like six months now. And that thumb you thought was getting better, kind of leveled at about 80%. And like, I just, I've just got a whole, like, it gets cumulative. Instead of like, at first you just heal and you spend most of your time feeling great. And then it gets to be like you rotate from body part to body part that's recovering injuries.

If you have any kind of active life. Now I just pile them on. Like, oh yeah, the knee hurt. And now the knee and the thumb hurts. Now the knee, the thumb hurts and the eyes are not so good. And now i just pile them on like oh yeah the knee hurt and now the knee and the thumb hurts now the knee the thumb hurts and the eyes are not so good and i'm just packing them on but i how old are you yonas uh 30 i'm 30 years old so i i just uh yeah i actually turned 30 in november last year so that's not just turning 30 uh but that's what I tell people. I just turned 30. I love that. Big scheme of things.

I'm one of those weird people that thinks that you can train your eyes back to 100%. So you'll often see me squinting at street signs and trying to will my eyes to be better. And it's fucking weird. What a unique perspective. Let us know how that works out for you you would have been the guy like screaming at fdr get up you lazy shit just do a couple jumping jacks you know walk it off bitch is screaming at jfk come on you can get back up i wish that what a quitteritter. I wish that Jonas could rent my eyes for a day so then you could go outside. I'd recommend you stay close to where you leave because you're not going to find your way back.

And then you just stare at something as hard as you can for like three minutes. And then you're going to go, ah, no, no, this isn't panning out. Taylor, have you ever seen a woman that you thought was attractive until you got close enough? Yes Like you get to like 20 feet away It's like oh whoo-hoo nice like I see some angular features like I'm I see the world like one of those fish very deep in The the ocean mostly shadows and structures, and then I get a little bit closer, and it's like oh man That's an enormous nose, but I'd be fooling myself again. then i get a little bit closer and it's like oh man that's an enormous nose but i'm gonna be fooling myself again so let's get a little closer nope now

finally so that you can touch your face and you know this i do the shit from face off like travolta where i just like run my fingers down so where i grew up i grew up on the boardwalk in ocean city new jersey and uh we would have like almost competitions to identify hot girls first, which meant that we'd be picking out girls from like a block away. And, of course, sometimes there's the whole good from far, but far from good. But sometimes they were actually dudes that just kind of looked hot from a block away. Damn, that's the worst, right? That's the best.

Oh, yeah. Why are you wearing that pants so goddamn tight, man? When your bro kicks out like a good ass from a walk away, it turns out to be. Yoga pants. Dude. That was the best time. Have you guys seen that Frank show? That show where the dude, he's like wearing, he's like yoga pants.

And he's like leaning into the trunk of his car like guys walking by are like oh shit and then he like peeks out of his trunk and they're like oh yeah it's just like a athletic booty like when you like at the mall where you see somebody like it's the same thing that happens at the mall when you see like someone like a girl like, a girl walking away, and you're like, damn, like, nice ass. And then you see her, like, later walking out of a store, and you're like, oh, shit, she's, like, 13. Like, oh, she has a, like, from behind, that's a very 22-year-old behind, like, on this. That's those fucking chicken hormones, man. That's those fucking chicken hormones.

They turn around, and she's got got like, rub-off tattoos. You know, the 100% she's got. She's got them for a birthday party. You've got an eight-year-old getting periods, and you've got 14-year-olds with double D's. It's not a safe world for the modern man. You gotta be careful. Head on a swivel. Head on a swivel. No. Head in blinders.

Dude, yeah. That's hilarious. If you see the guy with the nice ass in the spandex or whatever and he's got the hippie hair so you think it's a girl after you find out it's a guy you have to retroactively go back and reprogram those thoughts and be like, I didn't even think she was

that good looking anyway. Even if she was a girl I didn't even think she was that good looking anyway. You know? Like, even if she wasn't a girl, I wouldn't. You know? Like, this is fine. Yeah. I mentioned this before. We had an imaginary baseball league, right? We'd be like, oh, yeah, yeah, that girl, not old enough for the majors yet.

We're going to put her in AAA, let her mature a bit, and then she can come play. That was how we ended up. There you go. Have a draft class. By AAA, do you mean your basement? A farm team. No. It's all make-believe.

But yeah, like, ooh, that girl's single A ball. Like, why were we even looking at her? But we'll let her mature, and then a few years later, she'll come out and play with the big boys. That's Pimpery 101, for sure. I'm not sure how I feel about all this. It's putting these underage girls on layaway well it's not like they have like uh reserved like deer like tags on their ears and shit like no they're what he's just watching and appreciating the future you know these are just random girls

walking by on the beach as we yeah of course yeah oh he's not requisitioning them for their birthday. So starting like 8 or 10 days ago, I cut my calories down to like nothing. Yesterday I had 600 calories and I didn't eat the day before. And I'm at 176 pounds. 1-7-6. I lost 10 fucking pounds since last week I want to run through Kyle's diet real quick

and where we've got so far so Jonas we all like 10 weeks ago or so started like a fitness kick getting in better shape and what not and you know me and Woody were more from the approach of trying to lose a little bit of weight get more cut and in better shape Kyle was like alright I want to

pack on some mass get that slab of marble, and then I'll start chiseling it down. And so for about six weeks, Kyle went on a 4,500 calorie a day binge of just fat gainer shakes. Oh, word for Michael Phelps. He gained like seven. You gained quite a bit of weight. I went from 181.5 to like 187.5.

So you gained a good bit and then decided, ah, fuck, fuck, fuck everything I've done up till now. Fuck the entire trajectory here. We're cutting back. We're doubling back to the fork in the road and taking the starvation option. And so for the last last week you have not eaten anything not really just lost a bunch of water weight and then probably some fat as well i it's

don't feel very good but i'm gonna do this for a few more days i'm gonna get i'm gonna melt i'm gonna lose as much fat as i can here's what i think about the whole starvation thing and losing muscle you definitely don't lose muscle at the same rate as fat. And I don't care if I lose a little muscle if I lose a lot of fat. I feel like you could... They're just not proportional. Because if they were, like, I would just be so feeble and weak that I couldn't do shit. But I'm not. I still feel

pretty strong. I'm still lifting weights and still doing my workout. I'm just not eating. And yeah, I get a little shaky in the middle of the day and I have to sit down and put a cold... Zero? I had a root beer last night. That was delicious. It was 160 calories.

You gave yourself 160 calories to consume, and you chose fucking root beer? Chose a root beer, yeah. I wanted that root beer real bad. I didn't have any soda in the house, and I haven't had any real soda in a long time. But I got Kitty some root beer, and that root beer was just sitting sitting in there and it's my favorite kind. I like Barks. Uh, and I had to drink that can of Barks root beer. It was just going to happen. I've been living on all healthy with this diet Pepsi for months now and can't abide that. So how many more days until you think your body just collapses? Oh, it would take months, right? Human body is so strong. Like

I could, you could starve. I could starve myself for a month. I bet I could go a month without think your body just collapses? It would take months, right? Human body's so strong. I could starve myself for a month. I bet I could go a month without eating and I'd still be fine. Without eating at all. You would not be fine! Yeah, I'd be fine! I'd be fine! I could go a month without eating and I'd be fine. Dude, you don't have enough fat. You would, by the end of it, be ill. If you want to try it, I bet by the end you're feeling like shit. But don't do it because I don't want you to. Of course I'll feel like shit! I'm just saying I won't die or anything and I'll still be able to do my... I bet by the end you're feeling like shit. But don't do it. Of course I'll feel like shit.

I'm just saying I won't die or anything, and I'll still be able to do my – I'll still be able to walk and talk and drive a car. I'd say I'm going to be operating at peak levels after a month of no food. I mean, I am starving myself to the scary extent. I think I'm going to wait until – you know, I'm trying to work a bunch of fat off. Get a little bit leaner now. What are you getting down to? What's the target at that you've gotten?

I'm not even going to look at the scale anymore. What's the point? Because I want to gain muscle and lose fat. So it's at 175 with my clothes on as of 10 minutes ago or before the show, an hour and 10 minutes ago now. I feel like there's no way what Kyle's doing is productive for chiseling. You're like, I'm going to eat total trash and then go on a total starvation diet and see how awesome I get like none of those things lead you towards awesomeness, right? Well, I didn't get that much more muscular, but I did get scurvy

Because I haven't had a fucking piece of fruit or vegetable I mixed in a little vitamin C to keep the scurvy away. You know I rub a little lemon juice on my gums every day And I'm good. I think we lost Jonas. We'll see if he comes back. Oh, did we? I figured he just wasn't a blinker. That's funny. Taylor, how are you doing? What are you up to? I'm doing good. Have you been measuring your weight?

As of last time I weighed, I was 206, and so I do it on Sundays. And so I'm expecting to be a little bit lower there. Um, I can tell, like I said, I think in PKN, like my, my upper body is getting bigger. I can see more like definition in areas that I didn't before, like wearing my clothes. Like, you know how usually when you wear a short sleeve shirt, just the flat drop down

of the sleeve. Like, I feel like I'm getting more kind of deltoid definition and all that. And so once you start seeing any results at all, the working out part is really easy because I want to do it. Like, I'm finding that during the day, I'm like, oh, man, like, I can't wait to get home and work out. Like, just because I like that high of feeling good afterward where you're like, yeah, you fucking got something done.

You did. Like, it's like an amped up feeling of what you get when you clean a bunch of dishes, you know? But like, what you get when you clean a bunch of dishes you know but like like you know when you clean a bunch of dishes and you're like oh man like i feel like i really got something done just fucking spotless you could eat out of this kitchen now thank hopefully but like working out same thing where you just get through it you hammer it and you do it i've missed i still don't think i've missed a workout in the last i guess coming up on 10 weeks now. And so, you know, I've had definitely some cheat weekends where I go out with friends and drink and eat like shit. And that's definitely what's keeping me from reaching peak potential at this point.

But I don't know. I'm happy with how it's going. And I'm happy you two are sticking to it as well because it's easier to have check-in dates where if I ever do feel like, I just don't want to work out or I'm just going to have an order of pizza. to order a pizza. I deserve it. I'll be like hot now because I'm gonna have to rationalize that. And if they didn't cheat also, I'm going to look like a piece of shit. I honestly, I'm just, I think I'm just going to, I'm doing this because my weight's always going to bounce up and down. There's never going to be an, a healthy lifestyle and I, it's just not going to happen. I would rather, I think I have the self-control and still the metabolism at 31, I guess, to do that. I was afraid that I wouldn't.

I was afraid that there was going to come a day where I was like, man, I'm 200 pounds and I can't get to 199 after six days of trying real hard. I'm going to have to monitor my sugar and my calories for the rest of my life now or I'm going to be a fat guy. I thought that might happen and I was afraid of it, but I think I'm going to be able to continually bounce back and forth between where I want to be and what I want to eat. I hope you're right.

I think I was 32 or 34 and I still had abs. At 44, no abs. 32 or 34 still having ads that are abs rather that's that's impressive well done yeah it's good genetics over there where it's got this massive lungs cage he's just he's just a pedaling a waste though i feel like i don't have the v i wish i had were you good at bicycling yeah i was very good at cycling i bet like like I bet. Was there ever any consideration of doing that at any kind of real... Anything other than for fun?

Any sort of competitive... I used to... I was in... What is it? The USAA? I was in this... You do that thing across Georgia with your dad. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. So I don't know if Jonas is coming back. I'll just hang on a second about fixing the layout. I can do an ad read while he's gone. He says he's coming back. Okay. I want to do my little workout thing. I'll run through it real quick.

So after the show's on Thursday, and it's kind of my check-in day, by Friday I was down another pound. So I thought this would be a two-pound week. It wasn't. Friday and Saturday, the next day I was still down a pound, and I went away. I had two cheat meals, which I hate.

I like one a week, but I was camping and wasn't able to. Like, I went to a restaurant twice. So not real camping, but whatever. I wasn't home, had two bad meals, and then that pound I had lost was back for like four days in a row, getting kind of discouraging. As of yesterday, I lost that pound again. Today, still lost that pound. And I'm at 208, so I'm down 12. I lost a pound this today still lost that pound and I'm at 208 so I'm down 12 I lost a pound this week instead of two and uh also have never missed a kettlebell workout which is nice

Jonas if you can hear me turn your video on please and uh I don't know what that was but anyway yeah lost a pound haven't missed a workout. And there have been, like yesterday, we spread 20 cubic yards of mulch around like the front yard. And we have this like circle and whatever. And then afterwards, I'm like, do I have to do my kettlebells? Isn't that enough? No, you dick. Do your kettlebells. Because you're trying to like do more of these.

You're trying to get straight. Like there's specific motions you're working on. And they're not shoveling you, lazy piece of fuck. So I did my kettlebells anyway., yeah, I've never missed a workout. Oh, and I've increased both my reps and the weight, so there's nothing going on. Today is the first day that I've noticed that you looked better. You're showing visible physical improvement, Woody. Your face is more chiseled.

Your arms are – I'm serious. I'm not even kidding. Your face is more chiseled. Your arms are... I'm serious. I'm not even kidding. Your face is more chiseled. Your upper body is more... It's a more attractive silhouette. Arms, everything, looking better, looking great. I hope you're getting the same sort of... Keep going. This is good. ...physical positive... That's where I'm headed. Oh, it's continuing. Don't worry. I'm hoping that you're getting the same level of physical positive reinforcement from your wife at home. I'm hoping that you're getting the same level of like physical positive reinforcement from your wife at home I'm hoping that like when you come out of the shower and you're like Toweling off. She's like God damn

No, she does make positive comments about it, it's more Kind of like no bullshit. She's like no I could definitely see it No joke your face is more chiseled than it was before. Like she sees it in my face, especially. But there's also a recognition like shirt off, not at my target weight. You know, there's work to go. But look, things are moving forward. Every week, I haven't had a backwards week yet.

And we'll keep pushing. Awesome. I was going to ask you guys, like what, what, you probably already answered this to your audience, but what, what made you guys want to get into, you know, into working out and losing weight and making that a goal? For me, I'll jump on. So I know I had recognized that I didn't look the way I wanted to. At the same time, Taylor initiated this let's do it together thing.

And they came together as a yes, I have a problem. And there is a solution. Let's do this. I'm kind of just hopping in because I really enjoy this. Like I've done it a bunch of times going these like freak workout programs or weight loss and stuff. And I enjoy kind of doing it. I'm not able to stick to it for years at a time. But I can get a solid three months of crazy working out going on and then stop and let that go back down to an unhealthy level and then head on back up again.

That's the way I've chosen to live my life. And so whenever anybody wants to get one of these programs going, I'm totally down because it's fun to watch your body change. So many people in your life, you're probably like, I've known Dave for 35 years and he's always been pretty much exactly the same way.

I like being the kind of person who can and does change, even if it's just for the fuck of it. People don't change. Like, I often think about, like, this is kind of unrelated, but, you know, think about things that you've always thought of one way and examine why you think of them that way and maybe change your own mind. But I like changing my body with the weight loss thing.

And I got so much goddamn workout equipment that I kind of have to anyway, or it's just I'm just a maniac to have a gym and not use it. And I have one more thing. I pulled Taylor in this regard. I have roped in another friend into this. So Taylor's doing this with us, but he also has in real life friends that he's checking up on. Now I'm doing that as well. I have an in real life friend. Nice. Doubling down on that accountability. We're putting a pool in and I'm like, dude, pool parties are coming. Lift those weights. And we check in with each other on whether or not we did our workouts.

I'd like to say I'm doing it just because I want to be in better shape. But mostly it's in recent months I've become single again. And there's no easier way to go back out there and, you know, get it done than to not be fat and to look pretty good with your shirt off. You never tried a handgun. Well, Kyle goes the route of threats. There's a whole Cosby track on this

that you could go as well. You don't even have to be rich. Roofies aren't that expensive. Jonas, can you fix your video? Do you have your video, Jonas? Yeah. The connection's been kind of crazy. You guys are going out as well.

Oh, that stinks. It seems like your video's not turned on. I can see you guys. I can see myself in that same kind of... Can you turn it off and on? That is weird, because usually you can't see us if your video's not on. Let me see.

Turn it on and off. Let's see if that works. Did that fix it? No. Might have to hang up and call back. Yeah, we're going strong. We're going strong. Yeah, it was working for the first 45 minutes or so.

So, Taylor, you're single and you want hotter girls, and the way to get them is to be hotter yourself. Yeah, absolutely. The best way to get back out there, I think, is to start feeling like you're getting yourself as good as you can be, and then you can go out there and feel more confident. And that shit matters. If you're self-conscious about love handles or something,

then you're not going to be as confident in your demeanor and the way you carry yourself. You'll be more slumpy. Your posture won't be as good. All that shit plays in when you're out there in the wilds. If you have poor cardio, they're just going to escape every time. Well, my cardio is not great because cardio fucking sucks. It's better than it was. It's more than one way to skin a cat.

It's your skateboard, dude. You're developing power. Radical. You want to come back to my place? Not only is it good cardio, but it helps you catch them. Chase them down. Chase them down.

Let me do an ad read here. It just feels like the time to talk about NatureBox. What do you do when you want a snack but all you can find is junk food? Rely on self-control to resist the temptation? Please. You eat the junk food. Start snacking healthy with NatureBox.

NatureBox makes snacks that actually taste great and are better for you. Created with high quality ingredients that are free from artificial colors, flavors, or sweeteners so you could feel great about snacking. Some of our personal favorites here are the peanut butter nom noms, the chocolate hazelnut granola, and the praline pumpkin seeds. I really, really, really like the cashew, coconut cashews.

I think that's my favorite, definitely the coconut cashews. And I like any of the stuff that has yogurt on it, like the yogurt-covered anything, especially the yogurt-covered pretzels. They have blueberry, strawberry, and regular yogurt-covered pretzels. They have blueberry, strawberry, and regular yogurt-covered pretzels. I haven't gotten them in a while, but last time I had them, I ate all three bags in succession. NatureBox makes snacks that actually taste great and are better for you.

Oh, I already read that. Some of our personal favorites, I already read that. NatureBox recently made their service even better. Now you can order as much as you want, as often as you want, with no minimum purchase required, and you can cancel cancel anytime. It's simple. Go to naturebox.com and check out their snack catalog. There are over 100 snacks to choose from and they're constantly

adding delicious new snacks. Choose the snacks you want they'll deliver them right to your door. With Naturebox you'll never get bored. There are new snacks every month inspired by real customer feedback and if you ever want to try a snack that you don't like Naturebox will replace it for free. And right now you'll save even more because NatureBox is offering painkiller already fans 50% off your first order. When you go to naturebox.com slash

PKA, that's naturebox.com slash PKA for 50% off your first order. Naturebox.com slash PKA. So first of all, 50%, that's a lot of percents. Second, I like peanut butter nom noms. So, first of all, 50%, that's a lot of percents. Second, I like peanut butter nom-noms. They're my favorite. Yeah, I'm a big fan of NatureBox. I am a member. I buy stuff every month, and I like to try it.

Right now, it's beef jerky. That's what I've got upstairs. I like it. I'm not a big beef jerky fan, though. I just got it because I felt like that's what I should get because I'm eating healthier. It just seemed like that's the way to go. I want protein. I want protein in my snack.

Just bear with me here. And so I've been enjoying that too. So check them out. Jonas, your video is back. And now he's frozen. This is almost the exact same pose he was frozen in previously. Oh, he moved. All right.

I am so... Oh, yeah. I like the spicy nut mix. Check that out. I like spicy pub nuts. I wanted to ask, Jonas, in your amateur athletic career, was there ever any temptation to use steroids or performance-enhancing drugs or any kind? Did you know guys who did them? Was it around?

No, surprisingly, no. My fucking high school baseball team was juicing. Really? Yeah, the coach was putting... There were three or four guys on the team who had aspirations of going to the next level after high school, and they had smaller colleges,

like Middle Georgia or something like that they would come and watch these guys play and the coach was hooking those guys up with steroids that's crazy that's crazy there are two guys on my collegiate swim team who i suspected of juicing fun fun fact not to interrupt you fun fact i was on a swim team for about a year and a half called the flying dolphins allins. Alright. Don't ask me about that. What stroke did you swim? Say that again? What was your stroke? Freestyle?

Butter? Back? Freestyle. Freestyle. Freestyle. Very cool. I did swimming for one year when I was seven, I think, and we were called, like, guppies or something until eventually I was like, I already know how to swim,

and I can swim as good as I will ever need to swim living in Missouri. You know, like, I'll be fine. No. I was on a bunch. I was on one team, my least prestigious team ever i was just brought in like as a ringer and uh there was like there was subdivisions like just a group of houses that had teams because like the subdivision had a pool and they compete against the other ones and uh they grabbed some of the guys from my high school team and they're like dude we don't even

have guys in this age group can you just come in and like win all the races? And I'm like, well, how fast are they? Because I didn't want to lose. I was such a pussy, I guess. And then it turns out the people I'd be swimming against were shit. And I could just like, I don't know. Like imagine you're like a collegiate wrestler. And they're like, yeah, yeah, all the other people will be in eighth grade.

Can you just like win these matches for us? And I was like, yeah, yeah, all the other people will be in eighth grade. Can you just like win these matches for us? And I was like, yeah, yeah, absolutely. It's a service I provide. And we would show up in these like can't lose swim matches. That's the best. That scenario, the go in there and take it because I'm hooking you up. Those happen in life occasionally. And it's across the spectrum, right?

Like when I was selling cars we called that a cheese deal that was when like young jeezy the rapper came in and he was like i want five dodge chargers but he didn't come talk to a salesman he went talk to the manager he's like i want five fucking dodge chargers and he's like all right i'll get you five chargers uh garrett write this deal up so now garrett just sold five fucking cars for doing nothing right call that call that a cheese deal and you call the guy who takes the cheese deal the house rat. In our case, the house rat had done time

for the manager, so he always got the cheese deal. I found out over my years of working there that the general manager, who was 28 years old over this massive corporate auto nation store, had been running like a drug gang. And one of the finance directors was in charge of like growing and the uh garrett guy who came on as a salesman like in the middle of my tenure had

came on because he just got out of prison doing time for the manager so of course he got all the the free deals as it were but yeah that happens a lot in life where you're just kind of handed stuff and it doesn't happen a lot but when it does happen grab onto that with both hands if they're gonna let you go in there and wrestle some eighth graders or go in there and swim against a bunch of guppies you won't you won't take advantage of that yeah so wait did you get trophies for that and do you did you keep any of your trophies you i'm sure you have you had medals and trophies and stuff throughout your, like, sporting career.

Like, did you keep any of that stuff? A couple things. I've got some Brazilian jiu-jitsu medals. I have some medals I won in college. And I have my first surfing trophy ever. If you're 12 and under, they call you a menahuni. I forget. Something like that. And I've got, like, they call you a Menehune? I forget. Something like that.

I've got a second place in a Menehune division thing. I've got some trophies here and there, but I didn't keep everything. I never won a trophy of any note of any kind, really. My dad always shot... Yeah. There was actually

a pretty good surfing scene where I was from. My dad shot archery tournaments a lot, especially when I was younger, and he'd travel around and do that. I remember seeing him on TV a time doing that. And he had this massive collection of trophies that he kept at a shop we had, and someone came in and took them all. The same people who came in and got my goddamn play-doh my cousins really your

cousins stole trophies they broke them they were these were like they were so tall like some of them were three four feet tall with like four you know it's like four pillars that go up from a slab of marble and it's like a chalice at the top and stuff and they broke all these fucking trophies it was so shitty my dad didn't care which i cared so much more than he did he was like ah there that there's a reason they were in that old shop and i'm like didn't you travel around for years earning those dozens of fucking trophies like yeah that's how i feel about my trip i think a lot of them like we got rid of when we moved to this house and stuff i like the accomplishment still there the trophy just stays in the attic or something i guess that's true true. I guess that's true. And he's still got the bow.

Whatever. I didn't like it. I guess, just from my point of view, that seems shitty. I don't like people who are shitty like that who will come and mistreat your things and be fuckery. You ever loaned something to someone and they mistreated it? I'm sure.

I can't think of anything right now. I got your saw back to you god damn it i had woody's got this very special saw and he had like left it at my house i can't remember how it got and i had it with me and i was being i put it in my safe i was like yes i put it in the vault with like my expensive scopes and suppressors i I was like, that Woody's saw is getting the same level of treatment as a machine gun at my house. Maximum security. Because I was telling Woody one time, I'm like, I mean, Chiz, I was like, fuck, I went to the post office today and I forgot to send Woody his saw back. I gotta get him his goddamn saw back. He loves that

saw. I do like that saw. I still have all the pieces. Of course you do. It's a cool saw. Just so you know, it looks like, for those listening, it looks like a piece of aluminum pipe. And you kind of screw a cap at the end and out comes a saw blade. And you sort of flip it back around and screw it back together and you have this really effective saw. It's a bow saw, yeah.

And it's really sharp. It would hurt your hand to touch it. And it cuts well. What was I going to say? Oh, today, Hope took her last test. It's really sharp. It would hurt your hand to touch it, and it cuts well. What was I going to say? Oh, today, Hope took her last test. Hope has finished high school as of a few hours ago. Congrats to her.

Very nice. That's awesome. I don't know. Has she graduated yet? Have they walked? Is that a thing? Saturday. So Saturday is the ceremony. She's speaking.

So her school doesn't do class rank. So they just like try out for it. I know, right? It's weird. They try out? Yeah. Well, I mean, class rank is kind of informally considered on who is like the commencement speaker. GPA, motherfucker!

Yeah. I don't know what to say. They don't do class rank. I'm going to interrupt, but I got to know. I think it's important. Would Hope be very close to the top of the class she'd be top 10 percent um but i don't know if she'd be first or anything yeah see i guess it's not as big of a deal i remember it was a big deal at my school because this guy transferred in and and his grades from the other school made him fucking top dog like 99.9 percentile and the chick who had been in this school district for her

entire career we got like a 99.8 got bumped to the side and there was a whole fucking mess over that i remember i think they i think they split it in half and like gave them both first or something like that that controversy in my high school way back when in that uh like there our high school had two tracks one was called college prep and the other was called business but business meant like you're gonna be an auto mechanic when you grew up or something like that well it turned out that someone from the business school who took much less competitive courses throughout high school was like right there with the valedictorian in terms of best grades and it turned out I think she was a salute a dictatorian which is

like second place but it was really like wow, like should she be able to win? You know, she's been pulling her A's in like secretarial classes. There's two different leagues. Yeah, this guy's taking physics. And, you know, they're both A's. She's the best in AAA. You can't give her the World Series ring. Yeah, right.

It made no sense. She hasn't been facing the same competition. That's a clear-cut one. I hate that. Oh, it was the commencement speaker. That's what I was trying to slip out there. That's very cool. She tried out, and the teachers,

it wasn't just the teachers. The guidance counselor weighed in and all that stuff. And yeah, so she'll be speaking on Saturday, and I haven't heard her thing yet. Hopefully it's good. Yeah, that's awesome. Does she write that alone? Does she ever ask you or her mother

or anyone around for input? Or does she bounce stuff off? She tried out a few lines on us, but she mostly, she did the rough draft of it. She performed it, and then the school gave her feedback, and she did another iteration. So I really don don't know it but people at the school do yeah that's that's so

odd to me that they wouldn't do a valedictorian salutatorium like i think it's important to like say it's not about telling the guys who are at the bottom of the class hey look at you dummy it's about recognizing that extra amount of effort it took to be the best and putting that up and praising that and setting that as a lofty goal for all of those below. It's to let the average student look up and say,

God damn, I'm as smart as Catherine. What the fuck? It's like when they sign a little kid with cancer to a professional team for a day. You don't deserve that. Get off the roster. I see those bat boys out there all bald from the leukemia. Get the fuck off the field.

What if he causes an incident? What if he lets one go through the gap and we hurt somebody in the stands? I don't like that. I want my bat boys to be athletic and know what they're doing. No, of course not. Not even a thing. What he was

talking about earlier with like you would go to swimming and be the guy where they're like bring in the woodster you know like jump in and be like the butterfly man i did something like that but i was not useful uh so i play i obviously yonas doesn't know the sport I played growing up was ice hockey. And I played goalie for a huge percentage of it. And when I got to be like 16, the way high schools work is I played for club teams mostly. So I didn't take high school as seriously because the skills just not there. And I played for the high school team. And they also had a high school, you know, varsity, J jv and then something called c team and what c team is in hockey is it's middle schoolers and freshmen and sophomores who are not

good enough to play jv or varsity and so they play in this very low level league uh because i mean there's a lot of people who like hockey is it i'm glad that's a thing it's great that that's a thing because that doesn't exist in a lot of other sports like there was a point when I was Like I can't play baseball anymore like there because there's no like Fun silly baseball leagues that I'm aware you go play softball with a bunch of old dude Yeah, I'm not gonna fucking do that Yeah, it was a full check league this comes into the story and And they were like well you can't play goalie on this team because that's you're not allowed that'd be unfair well, you can't play goalie on this team because that's, you're not allowed.

That'd be unfair. But you can play out. You can play forward if you want. And I'd never got to play forward as, like, a grown-up. I didn't know how to, like, hit the right mechanics and everything, like all the rules. I knew the rules, but I'd never been in a, you know, clash against the board, so I didn't know, like, how the rules would pan out.

So I was like, oh, I'm so excited. I'm going to get to hit. And keep in mind, at this point, the only reason i was allowed to play c team is because they're like hey uh this guy who looks like he's 23 he's actually a junior in high school and he only plays goalie so you gotta you should make an exception and let him play on the c team and they're like oh he's a goalie he won't even be able to skate he'll be fine let him play and so they let me get all dressed out and my stuff. I was so excited. Did you even have gear? Like, where'd that come from? I wore my dad's gear. Okay. And so I wore my dad's stuff.

Old, rusty-ass helmet. So, like, to people looking. This is like something out of Game of Thrones when, like, the old fat knight comes out. This shit's not modern anymore. Putting it all on, getting my stick, my wooden, cheap-ass Sherwood stick that my dad's like, ah, just take this.

If you break it, who gives a fuck? Well, everybody else has their nice sticks. And in my head, I'm just so excited and a little bit nervous. I'm like, I can't wait to get a hit. I can't fucking wait to get a hit. I've never felt what that feels like before. Rule in hockey, you should know. Charging.

You're not allowed to take more than three strides towards an opponent because you are on ice and you can get going like 30 miles an hour and that's how you kill people. And so I didn't fully internalize this rule. Especially people with the helmets. Yes, and keep in mind, like, it's not like you'd be watching this game and be like, oh, man, there's a couple big guys on both teams. Like, you would look at it and be like, oh, there must be a handicapped fellow over there who's just, you know, a head and shoulders taller than everybody else.

So this guy, you know, we're in their zone, and we had dumped the puck behind the net, and this guy on their team, head down, bad move against me, I'll make you pay the piper. He comes back around the net looking for that puck. I see the opportunity. I don't do what hockey players are supposed to do where I glide into that area and then maybe take a step and you know hit him and knock the puck away. The puck wasn't even on my mind. Thankfully the guy picked it up. I just make a beeline charging for

this dude, lower my shoulder and just get him right in the chest square to the glass and I shit you not the glass didn't break the pain got knocked out I hit him so fucking hard and immediately the refs are blowing their shit

and their whole team is coming up on me trying to throw punches and hit me and I'm like you know my bad man like i i thought it would be kind of fun like pushing these kids away because if you get in a fight a real fight in any non-professional hockey league they take that super fucking seriously like i'll just kick you out of the league and so i'm like i'm not gonna drop the gloves and not be able to play anymore as a goalie and so i just kind of stood there and took it and then uh i got a it was like it was like two minutes into my first shift as a goalie. And so I just kind of stood there and took it. And then I got a, it was like,

it was like two minutes into my first shift as a forward. And I got a five minute major for a five minute major for what was it? Charging. And oh, that was it. It wasn't a five minute major at first. It was a 10 minute misconduct because it was borderline unsportsmanlike conduct. How hard did I hit this? And then the coach, And then the coach said, come on, he doesn't even know how to play out. This is his first time playing out. That's his first hit. He doesn't know what he's doing. He's like, all right, five-minute major, charging.

So I sat there in the box the whole time like, this is fucking awesome. This is great. Like, I do something shitty. If you could have done that every game, would you have? I would have because you know what? I had been trained as a goalie that every time my team gets a penalty i'm like fuck fuck all right guys i'll bail you out because now we're a man short and i'm gonna get shelved i took that horrible penalty and i was sitting there looking out on the ice and i was like oh man like i i did the

shitty thing they all have to pay for it and and I get a five minute break. So, you know, they actually did not let me return and play any more games. Really? It was a smart move. He was playing against eighth graders as a 6'1", 200 pound man.

He had a hairy chest like the fucking Wolverine, and he was checking boys through the pane of glass. Of course they didn't let him play again. Yeah, like when the refs get over to be like, hey, settle down. I'd be like, hey, you're two years younger than me. I see you sometimes at the rink. Like, you settle down.

I'll fuck you up, ref. He's like, I'm sorry, Taylor. Oh, the playoffs, is it 2-2 in the finals still? I've only been barely keeping up. 2-2. The game may have just started like 50 minutes ago, but yeah, 2-2. Predators, Pens, two apiece. Jonas, are you following the NHL playoffs at all or the NBA playoffs?

Crosby is a beast, man. He's a beast. I've been a fan of his for a while, so I'm pulling for him. Nice. Are you a Pens fan or just overall? Who's your team? Just overall, it's more about the individual player when it comes to hockey um i don't i don't watch it too much uh but it is my favorite uh spectator sport like in person seeing hockey is like uh i think it's just the most exciting it's fast paced

you know what i enjoyed about it the most it was that aspect of the hockey game that you could get hit with a puck at any time um and you get that in baseball games too and i think it's i mean you never know in a basketball game when some guys come up in the stands and whip your ass i guess but that ain't happened lately yeah every weekend you see a bat get slung in the sands or a foul ball hit an old lady and the same is true with hockey except that like hockey takes that shit seriously i was really surprised we went to go get beers and we were coming back down in and the guys like whoa whoa they're on the ice I'm like yeah that's why we're coming in we want that's what

we're here for we you know and he's like and Taylor's like oh we can't walk down right now a puck could fucking take us out as we're walking down the aisle and then they don't want that to happen and I was like yeah I guess so I guess you lightness like you just it's polite oh yeah guess so. I guess there was politeness. It's politeness. It's a lot of politeness is the main reason, is that it's very rude to walk down. But, I mean, I guess you could make that case, too.

You don't want to get hit with the puck. But Chiz really, like when I told them that, because Chiz and Kyle were not hockey fans, I was like, careful, lady in Columbus, like six years ago died when she got hit by a puck. And Kyle was like oh man that's crazy that sucks and then kind of just continued on with watching the game Chiz very much internalized this and so every time there was like a clearing attempt he'd be like oh all right all right I'm good he's good he was watching the skies like a man who gets abducted by aliens every

weekend he was just like where's it coming i know it is right my ass again i'm glad i agree with yonas on this crosby thing because woody is a flyers fan obviously flyers fans hate denier he's a cross be denier cross sucks it's not a denial thing. He's totally a pussy. This is widely known. He complains to refs. He embellishes, and he's dirty as fuck. He broke that guy's finger off. I'll just cut it off.

Yeah, he did cut off Mark Mathot's finger, but not like... Yeah, by slashing him in the fucking hand. No, Mark Mathot says it's grown mostly back. He's a reptilian. Crosby is not the kind of player that you admire, and I'm glad that he's getting his ass kicked lately. Let me ask you this, Taylor. Taylor, if your son came to play like Crosby,

would you think that that was a good thing? If you wanted to emulate Sidney Crosby's playing style, wouldn't you sit down with your son and be like, he's the best, but he's kind of like the Ty Cobb of hockey. He's kind of a dick. Watch this. He cuts this man's finger off. You see?

You have to be as good as Crosby is to get away with, because he has early in his career he embellished quite a bit and he whined to the refs in two credits to Crosby like I don't have a dog in the fight because I'm a blues fan and they're in the fucking east but he has tamped down the whining and such in the last few years compared to like 0809 Crosby when it was like every single play was him going up and chirping at the refs but man like you the reason he gets away with all that stuff and people are like, yeah, he's still the best in the world is because you watch him play and he's the best in the world. It's not like – at this point, it's barely an argument. When people are like, McDavid, he's really coming up on Crosby.

Like, if you talk to someone for real, it's going to be like, no, no, he's not. Not for real. He's not on Crosby's level yet. Maybe a couple years from now he will be, but he's not. Yeah, like, Crosby's level yet maybe a couple years from now it will be but he's not yeah like Crosby's just insanely watch him play with the puck he's always in the argument right there'll be a year where you're like you know what I think this is Ovechkin's the best in hockey this year Crosby's second and then Crosby might be first like if you use some sort of slanted you know measuring stick and and then you know another year it'll be like I don't know

like you know some other guy Malkin seems to be better this year. But it's always Crosby and the other guy that is the conversation. And he's still a piece of shit. You wouldn't want your child to grow up like Crosby. No, and I think about it this way, though. No, you really wouldn't because you said exactly why, Taylor. You were like, well, he's allowed to get away with that because he plays at that level. And yet you're going to have a generation of

kids emulating this guy and trying to play his style, and they're not going to get away with it. And they might hurt someone. I mostly didn't like and I don't know shit about hockey, but I've seen that clip of him chopping that man's finger off and that really didn't strike me well because it seemed

like he was doing harm to that person just to do it you know it wasn't like it's like chop his finger you lose i can provide some clarity for that so what he was doing is those those hand slashes which is basically mark mcthot was skating with his stick in his hand with the puck and crosby went over with his stick and gave a hand slash which is where you smack the guy's hands really hard try and get him dropped puck. You're not allowed to slash people's hands, but it's the most common place they try and give sneaky shitty slashes. Wait, he cut his finger

through the glove? Yeah, yeah. He cut his finger, he cut the tip of his finger off through the glove because what happened is usually you get slashed in the hands and it hits your hands. What happened here is it clearly hit the guy's glove, slid down, and then pinched the tip of his finger off between

the two sticks so between his own stick and between sydney crosby's stick and so it wasn't a super dirty play it was just one of those things where like once he took his hand out it was like oh fuck that guy's finger's gone it's like here you go here's the uh here's a picture of the finger um and i think this is pretty telling because you know when you just hear it at first you're like oh he busted his fingernail huh big wolf i've hit myself with a hammer before you're a professional but then you see this and you're like oh that required some medical attention afterwards they needed to sew that back together i didn't i just linked the video of it look at how calmly at least starts it you know you see it at 18 seconds yeah that

mark the thought just handles the fact that he just had his finger cut off like he looks like the way that's a hockey they forgot to put ketchup on your burger that's yeah yeah i admire that pickles i i once so when i played hockey um if you got there, stayed late and the other team would benefit from another player. Usually it was like the, like 10 is a good number to have. 11 sucks. 12 is a good number to have. So if they have 11,

they would let you play. If they had nine, they would let you play. And, uh, it was a playoff game. It was like the team playing up before mine. I showed up early.

I broke my foot in the second period of the game and then played five more periods on a broken foot because that's that's a hockey thing yeah that's definitely a hockey thing they play through so much pain i uh i was thinking about what kyle said there we were like well yeah i mean if you go to a basketball game they might come up into the stands and and fuck with you. So I just linked a video of in 1979, Mike Milbury, the guy who was still the commentator on fucking ESPN or

you know, whatever the fucking net that they played the hockey games on, still in the business. He and the Boston Bruins in 1979 got into a fight and went up into the stands and fought with fans. In, I've seen that before. In full gear.

I don't understand why you'd ever take the gear off. I get it if you're going to face off against an opponent. That makes sense. But if you're going to go in the stands and fight, they fucked with the wrong one already, right? So wear your armor, take the skates off if it's easier, but leave them on because maybe you can slash somebody with those at some point.

It'd be hard to beat up a guy in hockey pads. If you're a better fighter... Especially if it's an NHL player. I would like to see this in action, right? I'd like to see fighters pitted against one another. One of them is like, I don't know, a blue belt or something, and the other is like a brown belt, but the blue belt's wearing hockey pads.

He's fucking armed so so like like most of your striking doesn't work anymore you did i'd like to see that little armor to the mix oh let's talk about mma a little bit because um i'm trying to think i i've been watching a you're talking about aldo versus holloway yeah yeah um that was uh max one are you an mma fan at all yonas uh ufc uh a little bit yeah a little bit a little bit uh i think mcgregor is you know obviously the uh easiest person to kind of talk about but well for me because he's he's a guy who transcends the sport and it's kind of crazy what's happening between uh between him and mayweather. I want to see that.

I want to see it too. I think everybody on the planet wants to see that. I hate what it's doing to the UFC. Yeah, it's not good for the UFC. I was going to talk more about Demetrius Johnson being told that he had to fight TJ Dillashaw or they were going to close down his whole fucking weight division. That's pretty interesting.

I don't know if that's... I didn't like to hear that at all. But yeah, Conor fighting Floyd is going to be great. I think it's going to happen. I believe it will happen. There's just too much money in the mix for it not to get a deal not to get made. I think I'm, I don't, I don't know if I, if I've said what I think would happen in the past, I think there's a chance Connor wins, but I think what's, I think the best case scenario for Connor is to go the distance a la Rocky. Like if he pulls a Rocky Balboa and just goes the distance and somewhere along the way, maybe he trips Floyd, throws him on the ground or maybe he gets a shot in and Floyd looks bad for, you know, a segment.

You know, maybe maybe there's 45 seconds where you're like, oh, oh, oh, oh, he dodged it. Oh, you know, maybe that happens then connor won he de facto wins he doesn't have to knock floyd fucking mayweather out he just has to survive i i'm i agree jonas didn't like any of that yeah no we lost jonas again if he survives that'll be like a Balboa-like win. I feel like I'm not qualified. I don't know enough about boxing to come up with my own opinion, so I just listen to people who seem to, and that's what they

say. They say, look, very slim chance, the puncher's chance that Connor actually wins, but if he puts up a good showing, then that'll be a moral victory. He does have this thing that he's bigger and stronger, and he's got the touch of death in his left hand so there is i'm gonna bet i'm gonna bet on connor when he's like 10 years younger right i i think

we have to put like some money on connor to win though because the odds would be great right like he might be is he 12 years younger is floyd 40 floyd's 39. Either way, that's a lot of time in a sport. There's a point when it happens, and it's a split second, when they go from being able to still fucking do it and not being able to do it in a sport like that. And there's no way to know if Floyd still has it. Floyd's 40, so he would be 12 years younger. I'm almost positive Conor's 28.

Yeah. Yeah, Conor 28, 29 maybe. But I want to see that fight. I'm going to bet on Conor to win, although I don't think that's the outcome. That's certainly not. I think that if Conor goes the distance, it's a win really. But I'm going to bet on Conor to win by knockout and cross my fingers. And I'll really enjoy watching the fight.

And then if he does, all right, I collect my $ 400 or whatever it's gonna be i'll be the happiest guy ever that night i like dj demetrius johnson mighty mouse he's the guy that kyle mentioned that was getting bullied uh by the ufc i like him i um sometimes i feel like the arguments he's using i'm not getting promoted off. I'm not getting this. I'm not getting that. Or like what unsuccessful YouTubers would do. Like, oh, it's not my fault.

I'm not getting subscribers and views. Machinima didn't give me the push that they gave somebody else. And it's like, no, dude, a lot of it's yours, right? Connor is interesting to watch. You know, Connor could be a Kardashian with the way that he maintains his social media

and his presence. And like, you know, the guy transcends the sport. He's huge. Ronda Rousey was interesting to watch. It wasn't just that she was hot or just that she was pushed.

Maybe I don't get even exposed to it very much. I don't see UFC promoting fighters enough to get them popular. Like, what are they even doing? Trying to get their $4 billion. Ronda got promoted by getting on the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated.

Ronda got promoted by doing movies. Demetri Johnson's not doing any of these things. And I like the guy. I wish he was my neighbor. I think he's nice. I invite him over for barbecues. He can hang out at the pool. He Twitch streams, you know. I know. I think he's nice. I invite him over for barbecues. He can hang out at the pool. He Twitch streams, you know.

I know. I'm sure you know. Yeah, but as a sports personality, he's not crushing it like some other sports personality. You know, that's just where he is. Tyrone Woodley's not crushing it either. But I don't see Tyrone Woodley being like, the UFC doesn't promote me. That's why no one likes me. No, it's because you dodge fights and shit.

Now DJ's doing it too. So that's where my head is on it. You know what my favorite Conor McGregor moment is? And I think it kind of speaks to why we like him so much over Demetrius Johnson, who's more dominant in his league. I think I know what it's going to be. Go ahead. It's when he's on the mic and he says,

I'd like to take this minute this moment to apologize to uh absolutely fucking nobody i don't ever apologize i take what i want and he just like goes off he's just like screaming and the crowd just erupts like yeah don't fucking apologize anybody take what you want connor and it's just like that was a great moment on the mic i like that moment when the there's they're at like a press conference and the other fighter says something like uh do you know what do you even know what wrestling is and he's like i'll wrestle my balls on your head the other guy's like i'm gonna the other guy goes when i knock people out they go to sleep and i'm thinking like what a dumb cliche to throw out there right like

when i knock people out, they don't move. And it's like, yeah, that's... They're fucking unconscious, bro. I can't wait until the first really big Mormon fighter and seeing their trash talk when it's going to be one guy who's like, I'm going to kill you. I'm going to put you in the dirt.

You're going to be in the ground when I'm done with you six feet under. He's going to say, well, you know, respectfully, respectfully if that's the lord's will then it will go that way but um but i'm really confident in the way i've trained and i think that uh i think the lord's gonna be proud of me as well as my friends and family thank you so much for having me well all right i guess no all right good fight like that's what's gonna happen because when you're confronted by a friendly m, you can't stay angry. Because they're going to be so nice, they're going to get under your skin that way.

That's what we need. My favorite Conor moment is this. He was lined up to fight Jose Aldo. They had done a press tour around the planet that lasted like three months. And he held the belt up. He went to Rio de Janeiro and tore his pictures in half and said, I own this town. Big deal.

And then Jose Aldo pulls out of the fight with a hurt rib or something. And Conor McGregor's sleeping on a bench in a locker room. And they're like, look, Jose Aldo's out. That's it. You're going to fight Chad Mendes. And he opens one eye, says, yeah, one man's the same as the other. That's my guy. And he closes his eye. And that that's it doesn't give a fuck

you know he's just like yeah fight anybody i'm the best in the world at this weight it doesn't matter who's in the octagon with me that guy gets second place and mma fighters or mma fans value that huge you know that's a big deal it's bigly so you know to hear dj be like i don't want to fight tj he has kind of a point tj hasn't made 125 in a long long time but uh you know what i'd love to see as an outcome is for the ufc to say you're fighting tj if he doesn't make weight and you do we'll give you full pay you know know, we understand your concern. You are perhaps the greatest ever, certainly at this weight class. Tiny man. Yeah, that's the thing.

He's like the best at something that people don't want to see that much. He's like the best. He's not as bad as like a WNBA player who outshines the rest, but he's not far away because he's so dominant in his league. If there were two or three other guys at almost his same level and every time he defended it was this fucking firework show and and there was like a max holloway and a jose aldo to like contend and fight each other to rise to him but there isn't like like i i read about this guy and they they lay this laundry list of names of little fighters

i've never heard of that he's beaten up and i'm like well that's your problem right there a you're not making giving any name recognition to his competition at no point or any of these guys built up you're not i've never i don't remember the last time i saw two 125 pounders fight and it wasn't they fight on main cards like a guy um i think i forget if it was dj or one of the other guys in his class was saying like look the reason that we're not big is that you put us all in the prelims. And there is some truth to that. The little guys get on prelims. But the guy on Reddit just started detailing like all the fights that were not on the prelims.

You know, they were on the main card. And it's like that argument just seems invalid when you look at how many main card fights there were. People just care less. And people like let's say that you weigh 220 pounds and you're a fairly muscular guy you'd be wrong but they look at a guy who fights at 125 and say i can beat him i can take that guy no one does that with daniel cormier or cormier or whatever the fuck his name is no one looks at john jones and says john jones i could beat that guy. Nobody. Everybody knows they would lose to John Jones. Not even in the UFC. Even heavyweights. Daniel Cormier, in his deepest, darkest moments, is looking in the mirror like,

I can't beat John Jones. He knows. He's going to beat him. John Jones, without the dick pills, is going to lose. The pointer. John Jones is the guy who takes out the pregnant ladies and enjoys the cocaine. Yeah. I don't like it. And he takes steroids. John Jones, without steroids, takes out the pregnant ladies and enjoys the cocaine. Yeah. I don't like it.

And he takes steroids. John Jones without steroids will not be the same fighter. There's no way. Like, Daniel Cormier, he's like, the big surprise I had with him was how strong he is. Is that a fact? Yeah. He's just coming off his suspension now. Wow.

So, yeah, he got caught by USADA. And the theory is that against OSP was like the first time that he fought without the steroids, and he did really poorly. So now he's going to come back and fight Daniel Cormier, hopefully without steroids. And I think DC's going to mop the floor with him. It's going to be a great fight. I really hope it happens. July 29th. I lean more toward Jon Jones after seeing Daniel Cormier's last weight cut and knowing that they're not going to let him

slide with some fucking towel bullshit next time around. It was hard this time. If he doesn't get his act in order, it'll be hard next time. I like to believe that there's a machine in order that's trying to find some PEDs for Jon Jones that won't be detected. It just seems like it's a real money-making machine. And there's a lot of people

who would benefit if they could get John Jones back in the business, dominating his weight class. He's really fun to watch. He reminds me a lot of Conor McGregor, not in his fighting style so much, but just his legs and the sort of the way he's, he doesn't walk, he doesn't stand, he doesn't run. He sort of of just his torso sort of sits on these two loaded springs all the time that that at any time can just just rapidly bounce him around and move him from where he was to somewhere else it's almost like he's got teleportation and everybody else has to move where they want to go what happens in the middle of the fight if he gets called on another eye poke is it going to to be something like, alright, you've got

a history of it, you're out. You would have to feel like a kill bill and rip an eyeball out before they give you shit about that. You have to go so far over the limit with your dirtiness in a fight, in a big fight for them to affect the outcome. That's

one of the more frustrating things in MMA is that you see the fighters you care about uh abused in the ring doing their thing by a dirty fighter and if the outcome like when durandamy beat holly holm um i fucking hate durandamy now i hope she dies in a car crash that was a cunty display she fights cyborg she was she was and you know she was hitting i hope yeah i hope cyborg yeah a cyborg cyborg would be worse than a car crash i would rather i'd rather hit a brick wall going 20 miles an hour than face cyborg for three rounds it's a real easy decision exactly cyborg punishes her to

no end like cyborg's no better really i she'd she'd poke an eye hit a late hit if she thought it would benefit her career what i what i hated the most wasn't that she had the late hits against holly home it was how it was her facial reaction to them to her own late hits when she was clearly like caught and they were like whoa what the fuck in the crowds she goes like sticks her tongue out makes it makes like a duck a face like whoops did i hit her a little too late maybe she shouldn't be a professional fighter she's not in for that that's what i read into her little tick like whoopsie daisy silly me and this does it again like a round or two later and uh it just if i'm the ref in that fight like i don't know what the stiffest thing i take points

i think no you know what you do is you say, next fight, you have to fight against that man that turned into a woman and then beat the shit out of all those people. You've got to work your way back into the women's league. Have fun with that monster over there with the big man hands. It's not okay to dodge fighters, but it is okay to dodge Cyborg because everyone

knows she's a steroid cheat. I forget if she's been caught once or twice, but she is built like a muscular guy. Her face is transformed. This woman is all but transgender. She walks around much bigger than me, like 185, 195 pounds, deadlifting 400 for reps. Insane. So the MMA fan base is torn because on on one hand it's not okay to dodge fighters

but it is okay to dodge her on the other hand they really want her to get her comeuppance for being so dirty against holly holmes so when they say like oh and by the way she's dodging cyborg cyborg is like i want her i want my title shot everyone knows cyborg is obviously the toughest person at that weight class but i think she was suspended for roids or something. Yeah, she got suspended for roids a second time. It was some sort of weird pregnancy pill that is used to mask roids or whatever.

I don't want to say that makes sense because I'm a chemist. It was a precursor. It was something you take after the steroids. I can't remember if she was taking Clomid, which would help her with the testosterone to estrogen levels, or if she was taking a diuretic of some kind to help her piss it out. But it was something like that. It was something indicative of PED use.

It wasn't a PED itself, but it was like, you don't have peanut butter without jelly. We know what's going on here. We see bread and peanut butter. We know the jelly's in there somewhere. It was just clear and you know you look at her if you have eyes if you're curious as to why i have this bindle minus the stick basically yeah while i was out today working i got back and my ac had gone out and obviously i haven't been able to get it fixed since the start of the show and so so I fill the fucking trash bag with ice.

And I've just been moving it around my body because I am so hot. I am so hot. Before the show, I told you, it was 92 degrees in here. Like, I came in. But at least it's Missouri, so it's not extremely humid. Also, and sticky. Like, oh, my. This sucks. Man, I empathize with woody now more

when you're sitting there being like oh you want to call it a show because there's at least one three you've done that like and i get to see the perspiration beating and i've never had to deal with it before this it is way rougher than you would think just being like 20 degrees hotter well honestly like 25 degrees hotter than what you're used to you know in your house but oh oh and this this is melting fast and my ice maker isn't quick enough to keep up with this and so it's gonna be i'm gonna have to make a decision remember when homer simpsons uh ac went out? He took the fridge and he opened it, and they built a little tent around it and lived in that tent with the freezer providing AC

for his own little personal area. Might have to employ something like that. Yeah, I'll sleep in the kitchen with a makeshift tent tonight. Make a refrigerator fort. Bring your laptop in there. Let me do an ad read, and then let's talk about the Trumpster.

All right. The man. All right. Tell everyone a bit about movement watches. The past few months, we've been working a lot with movement watches. We love them. You guys love them, so I asked myself, why do I only have one? You see, movement offers different color bands, different faces, and different styles for each of their many watches.

Movement watches start at just $95. So do some quick math. You could have a couple of Movement watches, and it would still be a better deal than having one department store watch. Get a blue and a white one. Maybe sandstone is your thing. Whatever your style, Movement has watches and bands to match for every outfit in your arsenal. There's no hassles. Just order online with free shipping, free returns, and a 24-month warranty.

So join their more than 1 million social returns, and a 24-month warranty. So, join their more than 1 million social media followers and get a MVMT watch today. Go to MVMTwatches.com slash pka and they'll give you 15% off your entire purchase. That's MVMTwatches.com slash pka for 15% off your entire purchase. Check out MVMT watches. They're awesome. They sent them to me. They have this heft of quality. They're nice. Movement Watches.

It's time for a change. Look at this. You can use that free of charge movement. No, no, no. No. Yeah, I expect a little more from that. Check them out. They're very heavy. High quality.

The Trumpsterster you say oh man I got up early this morning what time is early in Kyle's world 11.45 I got up at 6.30 so that I was like ready to roll at 7 and I had to go do some things

but anyway I was sitting there and by the time I got back I was a little bit late to the call me thing but I sat down I watched like 4 I had to go do some things. But anyway, I was sitting there fucking, and by the time I got back, I was a little bit late to the Comey thing, but I sat down. I watched like four, maybe five senators interview him. I got like an hour into it at least, like the last hour, although I'm aware it went two hours.

Real quick, just to jump in. Did you know that in DC today, they opened bars at like 6.30 in the morning? Or in California, they opened bars at 6.30 in the morning so that people could watch it. It's like, if you are showing up at a bar at 6.30 in the morning on a fucking Thursday

to watch a hearing, you have many more problems in your life that politics is not going to fix. I was watching. A lot of bars were offering a free beer for every time Trump tweeted during the thing, and he didn't tweet a single time. But yeah.

I was probably really happy about that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So fingers crossed. Oh, this could go badly. So this was the first time I'd really heard James Comey speak, at least to a, in length.

I was incredibly impressed by, by him as a him as a speaker and just as an individual. He just exuded gravitas. He exuded calm, collected, focused intelligence. He was smart. He was believable. He seemed to have integrity. Everything about him was the opposite of a Donald Trump. He was precise and exact with his speaking. Every word, there wasn't any fat on his speaking. He didn't use any extra fluff words. He told you exactly what was going on. And if there was an area where things were going to get a little fuzzy because whatever, we should move this to the other hearing because of et cetera, legalese, blah, blah, blah. He said it very... He explained why he couldn't say that thing in a way that was

satisfactory to me as the viewer. And then the motherfucker stood up, and he's 6'8". Did that guy just win the genetic lottery? He's clearly an incredibly intelligent guy. He's a massive dude. I bet he's got a 13-inch cock.

What is the downside to being.... Like, what is the downside to being, at least, what's the downside to being James Comey? The downside is everybody in the country really, really hates you, and then they come back, and then two days later, they're like, oh, fuck that guy again, and so you never know what's gonna

happen when you wake up as James Comey. So I would say that's a big negative. I bet James Comey has a brilliant career in the private sector ahead of him. And today he put on the... We have a sponsor that helps you, ZipRecruiter, helps you get your job posted online.

James Comey just went about tenfold of what ZipRecruiter could ever do. He just sat in front of a billion people and showed you that he's one of the most articulate... Yeah, maybe. Maybe. Probably not as good as your recruiter sitting in front of a million people.

You know what I want to see? These people, like you're saying that he'll go out and have an awesome career in the private sector, which he will. He'll go work for some military contractor or something, but what I want to see eventually is someone like, even if Obama did it or someone, but one of these politicians to not go into the private sector and go into something where it's

like, well, I've always just wanted to be a train conductor. So I, and so I decided that that's what I'm going to do. And nobody can tell me no, I was the president. Fuck off. You know, or like whatever he does like that, I would really, that would make me like Obama or any of these politicians so much more if fucking Bernie Sanders went out. Well, no, not him. But if Obama went out there and did that, or if Comey became a train conductor, I don't

know why the idea of that is so funny to me. He's crouched down. I'm stuck on a cream truck driver guy with the music and everything. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Driving through the suburbs. I feel like George Bush has the most potential to be funny with that because, like, you could see George Bush leaving the presidential office and being like i kind of want to be a u.s marshal yeah yeah can i have a can i have a horse too what if he wanted to be a texas ranger and like that was his thing he's and he like of course he's got the pull he just goes and calls up his buddy rick pear and he's like yo i want to be a

texas ranger i got home good don't worry about it. And you just sign him up. You can totally give him a badge. Don't worry about it. Give him a fucking badge and tell him to go. I've heard about that a lot of times. One of the things that rich gun guys really, really want and I'm kidding here. I don't talk about it much. The thing they all want is a badge. And if you have enough pull,

you can get one. If there's a governor in New Mexico or a senator in Arizona or something, he can fucking give you a badge and make you law enforcement. You don't have to go to a job. You don't have to clock in. Now you are just deputized.

I don't know. Lost you, Jonas. And you have arrest powers and all that stuff stuff and they talk about like you know having getting lights on their vehicles and and doing and and and the end goal that a lot of these guys explained was they wanted to go on uh dea raids and if they had this like whatever badge they were getting from the state then they could go in on with like a SWAT team and be part of that shit and be part of raiding houses and stuff and like all those guys really wanted that and I was always hearing like

yeah yeah Dave knows the like junior senator from like New Mexico it was always somewhere in the southwest where like I you know I guess things were a little bit relaxed can you just picture like after W calls hey Rick

Mr. Perry you know I'd love to be a marshal for you and then like 4 a.m the next morning he like calls i i don't mean to wake you mr perry i just i realized just recently i forgot to ask about the dress code is that something that's important to you or like i could just picture him still being kind of a blithering fool even in his post presidential world like because obviously like in the like years after they leave presidencies still being kind of a blithering fool, even in his post-presidential world. Because obviously, like, in the years after they leave presidencies, they're always like, oh, remember that guy? What a champ.

You know, how great he was. But, like, you go back to when it was happening, and everybody's like, oh, he's an evil dictator. But I don't know. I wish they would do stuff like that more. Or if they, like, so many of these politicians make fucking hundreds of millions during their careers, apparently. Great salaries, I guess. Or they're doing something nefarious, buy a sports team afterward. That's always my first go-to for billionaire, buy a sports team.

Yeah, I'm with you on that sports team. Like, that would be really cool to be able to influence something you cared about that much. I think I would want to, I'd rather own, and I know that's not a thing, but a professional fighter, if that makes any sense. I think I'd want to be like... I don't know. I don't know how that would even work. I don't know

how that would work. But I would rather that. I'd rather own Chad Mendes or TJ Dillashaw and be like, yeah, I pay for all of his everything, and I get 30% off the top. Jesus, Kyle, you guys already lost the Civil War. Like, you can't own these people.

We're taking it back! Well, enough paperwork will make it. You know, slavery wasn't completely abolished. There's that little caveat in there. Unless it's given as a punishment, then slavery's okay. I didn't know that. Oh, wait, that's probably not given as a punishment then slavery is okay i didn't know that oh wait that's probably not true and i'm being very gullible right now you have you you can't google unless you put some money on it oh ah so now you know it's not true yeah because

it's true it's true wait is kyle saying that right now that you're saying that it's a law that slavery you can have a slave it's if it's a punishment? So if someone murders your wife, the judge might be some goofy, like, I declare that you become his butler! No, this is not Jerry, the sitcom that Jerry Seinfeld made in the show Seinfeld. But no, you put someone on a chain gang, clearly you were forcing them to work, right? I'm almost a thousand percent sure that that's a thing. Like, the amendment, which amendment was it that outlawed slavery? I don't know off the top of my head.

The 26th or whatever the fuck it was. It's in there that it's, you know, except by a punishment. Like, that caveat is like the last sentence in that paragraph. Then we're going to have to kick our guests. I don't know if we're going to be able to get any input. I can't hear him at all. I like Jonas a lot. He seems like a chill guy.

Yeah, me too. Lots of cool experiences, but we're having some technical issues with him. Speaking of technical issues, I was told third-hand that people were upset with the audio issues, and we have found a solution to that. Maybe. We haven't tested it. We have not tested it, but we are going to work on it this weekend. We think we may have found something that's going to work to improve some of the mixing levels.

Contrary to popular belief, it's certainly not a laziness issue or a disregard to the quality of the show or anything. We care about that a great deal. It's just fucking Skype and technology in general don't work very well sometimes, and especially when you're doing a four-hour show. I think someone suggested that each of us individually record, but then what you're doing is multiplying the possibility of a failure, because right now we have one piece of hardware, and if that doesn't work well, then we lose the show, of course. But if we got five, and each, you know, the four, rather, the three of us plus a guest

all recording individually, now there's four pieces of hardware that can fail just in the hopes that we're able to piece something together with a modicum better of quality. So I think we found a service that we can use that will record us individually but off-site. And then we'll be able to mix the audio levels and get everything as good as it can be.

But you run into a lot of syncing issues when you record traditionally over a four-hour podcast when bandwidth comes into play it's there's more going on than if we were doing like a dual com and cold duty back in the day i'm thinking we play around with it on painkiller nearly for a bit you know like in in maybe two or three weeks if it starts going right introduce it to painkiller already uh one of the issues i always had about changing is the nice thing about skype is your guest doesn't have to be tech savvy right like you know like an anthony solves that as well for example he usually if that if he

doesn't have his like assistant there then you know he's on like an iphone mic or something and a notebook uh camera i remember Chris, is it Hanson? Is that his name? Yeah, Chris Hanson wasn't very tech savvy. We have a bunch of guests who aren't tech savvy. I was going to say Salian Levagabond too, but they make videos every week so they're probably tech savvy enough. Yeah, but the end result is

I think that this new thing is going to be a fix for it. Like Woody said, we're going to test it this weekend, mess around, and probably debut it on PKN if it does work. And I think it's going to work. I have high hopes. I'd like to be an optimist.

And, yeah, hopefully that improves as we go on. Do you remember how last week we were talking about, like, cultures and stuff we should steal from, like, other cultures that is good? Where, like, we steal the thing from Japan, where instead of the waiters having to come and pitter-pat around, you just go, I'm ready to pay! I'm ready to order! I was trying to find a list of other things that we could emulate that are good from other cultures in the U.S.,

and it just devolved into me searching for ridiculous things that other cultures do that we can look down upon, which is easier. It is easier. And I linked one there and uh i i made sure to find ones that are still today that they're doing it because obviously you can say shit like oh the mesopotamians would fucking cut your ovaries out if you you looked at them the wrong way or something this that that one i just linked to the seven bizarre things uh that are still carried out today these are so much more fucked than I thought they would be. And they are not at all the ones that you've seen before.

Or at least I haven't seen these. I've never heard of this. So there's this tribe in Indonesia. And usually when you think Indonesia, you think like a hub of culture and progress, right? Yeah. But in this regard... And prostitution.

Yeah! But in this regard the Dani tribe of Indonesia when someone dies like a member of your family they make the women in that family cut off half of their finger to remember that person dying

and so this is just the first part of this article are tons of pictures of these old ass poor poor women with this lady has six of her fingers left she has two fingers and her thumbs left and that's it and all the rest are just nubs it's basically you know uh they're basically uh sir davis from game of thrones they have that yeah the half hand the half hand is what it is except these people are even worse than that they must have stolen way more than you know know, fish and beans or whatever the fuck he did.

But the onion, that's what it was. But yeah, this is fucked. Like, imagine how awful it must be to be a woman in this culture and have a big family. Like, and then like one of your sons become successful, they go on a ski trip and the whole time you're like, oh, not the double blacks. No, like I'm down to one here. I didn't even offer, they didn't even offer me any fucking poles at the goddamn ski shop And the whole time you're like, oh, not the double blacks. No. I'm down to one here.

They didn't even offer me any fucking poles at the goddamn ski shop because I knew I couldn't hand them. You're a nephew. A nephew buys a paramotor. You're like, goddammit, I might as well just shove my hand right in the back of that motherfucker. But this is so fucked up. How did that get started? You know, because all this stuff has to have an impetus, like something that gets it going.

When did they think, you know, a good way to remind these women to remind us about our deaths is that we cut the fingers off. Well, I mean, we got to hunt still, right? We're not going to do it. How about the women, though? Well, don't they need to sew and do things? No, we run around naked. You forgot.

Oh, yeah, you're right. I can just imagine, like, the white British scientist sitting with these people, and they're all No, we run around naked. You forgot. Oh, yeah, you're right. I can just imagine the white British scientist sitting with these people, and they're all naked, of course, because he's trying to fit in with them, and he's like, do you realize how barbaric it is? Do you realize how barbaric it is to cut off the tip of her finger? Just to remember a dead person? And he's like,

what happened to your dick? What happened to your dick there? Who cut the end of it off? Oh, my mom did that when I was born. They're like, ah, the barbarian. They cut the end of your dick off. We only do that when the whole tribe dies.

That is true. That is another thing that you have to think about. It's completely different, though, of course, because we don't need our four skins for really fucking anything and you really need these I can't think of many appendages that are more important than your god damn fingers

I mean she is never going to be able to do any PC gaming like this next tribe oh the worst the worst hand that's the worst hand job of all time. Look at this.

Can the viewers see her fucking hands right now? I would kill myself before I took a hand. I'd vomit, like, half-hand. I'm like, they're so rough, too. I can feel the bone. What if it goes the other way? What if she's jerking me off and I'm like, dude, my dick looks huge. Next to your half-hands?

Like, I've never been more she's having to like grab them like grab your dick like this anyway with her fucking crazy maybe i just say you know what why don't you just use that toothless mouth of yours and finish this off oh i i don't like that at that that one bit i don't like those those hands i've heard the gummers uh where it's at here's uh here's one i hadn't heard of before it's called i knew bear worship and so what these japan and russian hybrid people do is they they sacrifice bears and so they will go into hibernating bear caves slaughter the mom steal the cubs and then raise the cubs for a couple years and then eventually they take those cubs and they either choke them or while choking them some spear them

to death and then they drink all the blood what number are you on uh the fourth one i believe yeah if you just scroll down till you see the bears but it just seems like that all of these cultural things seem like excuses for food you know like and then they just backfill it where they're like why do you do this with bears and it's like oh it's very deep and spiritual are you sure it's just because fucking corn doesn't grow here it's like oh yeah well you know that definitely plays into it but like but man this is oh man what is it in our culture that is this weird because obviously you're inculcated in it so you can't quite see it maybe circumcision is a thing that's where i was thinking not circumcision but i i'm not on kyle's team at all with circumcision i think it's fucked up like male circumcision and

female circumcision both of them they. They're both fucked. Completely different things. Completely different things. But at the baseline, what you're doing is you're mutilating. I'm just saying, baseline, you're, without consent, mutilating the genitals of a child. Like, you're cutting bits off. The guy is still left fully functional and the girl is not, if I understand female circumcision. Not always. There are mistakes with circumcisions all the time.

And there's no reason for it. And so it's like, why do it? Yeah, same team here in general. I'm just trying to say that they are different. Like, you know, with a girl, they're like trying to destroy her sex drive and any kind of reward she might get from having sex. With a guy, it's just they've decided that aesthetically that's normal-ish. That's why they do it to guys, too.

Not because it's aesthetic, because it's harder to masturbate if you don't have a foreskin. Because you need lotion. Is that the original motivation? Yes, it's aesthetic, because it's harder to masturbate if you don't have a foreskin. Because you need lotion. Is that the original motivation? Yes, it's to decrease sexual pleasure. That's the whole point of these circumcisions at all, is to decrease sexual pleasure in populations. It was never like, oh, this thing looks icky. It really cut down on the drive, too, I tell you. No, I'm very happy being circumcised.

It's just unattractive otherwise. I watch a lot of pornography more than more than any two of you combined and so i i'm gonna tell you right now like the average cut penis is just much more uh attractive to the eye than the average non-cut when i just pull it back and it's the same no no it doesn't not always sometimes you can't pull it back sometimes it's so tight it tears. And then you get smegma. I don't even know what fucking smegma was. That's disgusting. I don't even want to know that word. It feels dirty in my mouth.

It's easier to keep clean. You cannot deny that. It is aesthetically more pleasing to the eye on average. Not individual to individual, but on average. If we took a vote, I guarantee the cut. Here's where I live, so that prevails. And so if I were not cut now, I would get it. I saw on Reddit the other day a guy who got an adult circumcision, and it looked real bad healing.

He had pictures of it healing, and around the frenulum like the whatever the fuck little like bottom of the head area like it was all scabby and kind of gross but even then i was thinking like yeah dude you made the right choice because before this it looks so disgusting it looks so gross that like i couldn't masturbate if i were i would look at it and be like oh i don't even want to now i don't want to now like I got to do is turn myself off. Cold shot? Oh, please. I look at my cock.

It doesn't take time. I don't even want to be involved anymore. I want to get this out. No, I'm happy with my own. Yeah. So I looked up why circumcision started, and Taylor's thing was one of the many reasons. The origin is not known with certainty.

They proposed it as a religious sacrifice, a rite of passage marking adulthood, a form of sympathetic magic to ensure virility and fertility as a means of reducing sexual pleasure, like Taylor said, as an aid to hygiene where bathing is impractical, marking of a higher social status, humiliating enemies and slaves as symbolic castration. There's a whole bunch of reasons here discouraging masturbation is one

removing excess pleasure is one what was it in the bible though in the bible somebody was in trouble if I remember correctly God was gonna fuck him up and they were like quick I'm gonna cut off my son's foreskin and put the foreskin blood

on your feet Abraham and now God will let you slide like that's a thing right? I'm gonna look up Abraham foreskin Abraham the way I remember it like Abraham was old when she was sized Yeah, it was it very very painful I just I think Abraham was in some shit with God and and God was going to, like, fuck him up. And his wife was like, oh, God. She was like, God's going to fuck up Abraham.

Come here, Jacob, or whatever Abraham's son was, because he had many sons, I'm told. And many sons had father Abraham. And she was like, you know, we're going to have to cut the end of your dick off, and put a little flick the blood on Abraham's feet, and when God sees that, it'll all be chill. He'll be like, whoa! We're straight now. We're good. You know what is even creepier?

This is from the New International Version. It says, on that very day, Abraham took his son Ishmael and all those born in his household, and bought, or bought with his money, so his slaves do, every male in his household and circumcised them as God told him. Now, Abraham was circumcised at the age of 99, which means that this 99-year-old who had cut his own penis off was now conscripted to cut the tip of everybody else's penis off. He suffered from blood loss. Yeah, you're suffering from blood

loss because you have no idea how this shit works you know he's he's figuring it out as he goes you know the first three guys in line are like shuffling to try and get behind like no no no i insist you you received the blessing of god first my brother and like just push forward like i imagine but you had to know that it was gonna like these guys all the ones who all the other jews had to be like yeah well of course we're all about God, Abraham. Like, yeah, we're going to do whatever he says. Do you want us to slaughter a goat? Do you want us to slaughter a cow?

Do you want us to give him a couple of our slave girls? No, no, no. He wants us to cut off the tip of our penises. It's like, oh, no. Well, I have heard Babylon's nice this time of year, guys. It's pretty good. I talked to Baal the other day, and he was straight with my cock as is. Yes, Beelzebub doesn't mind one bit.

You know, Satan's all about a whole cock. And that golden calf over there, he's straight with it, too. Yeah. Yeah, that's fuck. What was the golden calf? That was B-A-A-L. How do you pronounce it? Is it Baal?

Baal? Yeah. Baal? Yeah. Baal. I've heard Baal. Yeah, I've heard by out like in in church like my uh my sunday school teacher always like put a lot of emphasis on it she was like by ah or something

like silly like that and i was like hey she read that and i bet you know your question no you're not allowed to ask questions because they'll go of course i am you you didn't read the book and it's like ah you caught me like god damn it you're right i didn't do any of the prescribed reading it's just funny because like i like it wasn't until i was totally on my own volition that i read the fucking thing like up until then it was just an ordeal of like how can i sneak around faking it you know i enjoyed i enjoyed the stories if you've got a good preacher then you don't need to be religious to go to church you really don't it's a it's a show sometimes like you can go and sit into it you can go to like a baptist church somewhere. It's a show sometimes. You can go to a Baptist church

somewhere and sit down, and if you happen to come to the right sermon, you don't need to take anything religious from it. It'll just be some good life advice, right? And he'll tell you a story from the Bible or an allegory, as the rest of us know them, and you'll take away from it some real meaning that you can apply in modern day life a lot of times. And you often leave with a good feeling, a good positive feeling. You know, you just got to get around all of the worshiping, the zombie thing. We tried to get into the church. It wasn't so much because I needed to be closer to God. It was because I wanted a community.

I was like, all right. What kind were you trying to join real quick? I think it was a Catholic church. It was involved with my daughter's preschool and stuff. St. Mary Magdalene, does that sound Catholic to you? Yeah, it does. Yeah, so anyway, like, you know, we wanted, she got into the kindergarten,

but like first grade wasn't guaranteed. So we're like, all right, we're going to join this community, whatever, gone. Wasn't Mary Magdalene a whore? I think she was, yeah. Your daughter's school's named her for a whore? She was a blessed prostitute

the lord loved prostitutes how does that not tie into catholic school girls anyway so we went there to like I guess engage in the community there were some woodworkers there I was hanging out with them and doing that myself but the church itself

were such fuckheads. I fucking hated them. You know how you had that good experience with the speaker and feel good and whatever? I couldn't understand a word fucking Methuselah was saying up there. He wasn't entertaining. He seemed to lose track of what he was saying all the time. He didn't speak clearly.

And I think he had too much saliva in his mouth. It was just a really terrible experience. He was probably speaking in Latin, Woody. They wanted your money. I'm not done. They were so fucking after your money. Like, step one in joining this church is bringing in, like, an account slip so they can take their whatever the opposite of a direct deposit is,

like a direct withdrawal from your bank. They're not asking for checks. They're asking for access. Like, all right, give me the transfer numbers and your account number and sign over this authorization so I can take money from your bank account automatically. That's how this place rolled.

And then on top of that, it was like, give me things to sell that we can donate and do raffles and whatever. But they were big things. This church would take in like $75, 000 twice a year in these raffles and in exchange i was getting nothing like they're like every every experience every interaction i had with these guys was either shit or just sucking money out of my account neither of which i was a big fan of and i don't know at the end like i fucking hated church more than before I knew them.

And it's like, you know what, if these church people don't like my lack of interaction with them, they have themselves to blame because they're dicks. Yeah, that sounds like a terrible experience. That is not the Protestant experience on the whole. The whole tithing thing, you know, it's certainly never compulsory. I've never seen the whole direct deposit thing. Maybe it's more prevalent now because I haven't been to church in a few years. But, you know, they pass that golden plate around. Everybody throws a few bucks in it. You feel good because, like, the churches that I always went to,

like, they did good things with that money. They were very, they weren't very, like, see, the difference, those Catholic cathedrals are absolutely outrageous. You see them spent, you know, you see the pope on a goddamn throne you see like a 10 ton pope mobile and you're like oh that's where the money goes but if you if you're just at one baptist church where the preacher is john over there and he's a member of the community the money that's blowing in oh that's paying john's salary like and i'm perfectly cool with that because he lives in that house next to the church and it's it's pretty modest.

John's not high on the hog because of his church. And he takes any money that doesn't go to that, and it goes back into the church and back into good deeds. And I always like that too. So I never mind giving. Not my fucking shit bag. My fucking shit bags. First of all, you do have to give money every Sunday, but that's not accounted for, really. They need to, like, know how much you're giving because it directly impacts whether or not your daughter gets into first grade.

Poor shit. So they're like, all right, how much can we take from your account every week automatically in addition to, you know, what you're giving when you attend the services? Oh, and the services attendance is taken there, too, because they want to know that you're going every week because otherwise you're giving when you attend the services. Oh, and the services attendance is taken there too because they want to know that you're going every week because otherwise you're not. These guys were awful. They'll set it up like it's basically almost like your 401K, but you get nothing out of it,

where it's just every time you get paid, just automatically a section. The kingdom of heaven is your reward, my son. The kingdom of heaven. You were saying that there's that situation where the pastor lives adjacent to the church in a small, humble home. I've seen that before. And to be fair, I've seen that more times than not.

But I've also seen it where pastors live in enormous houses, and they will park in their own parking with a nice-ass Jaguar or a nice-ass LS Series Lexus. And it's like at that point, i always wonder like how do you walking into church see your pastor with a lexus and obviously you can do the uh the old christian cop out of well the lord's blessing him but it's like oh is he really like isn't that a bunch of other people you could save isn't that a little more proselytizing you could do like that i don't know it just seems like the pastor and to be wealthy is the wealthy is the highest level of cognitive dissonance you can possibly have. To be a Christian pastor and be rich as fuck. The version of Jesus that beat up those money collectors, those tax collectors,

I feel like he'd do the same thing to these modern-day pastors, right? If that's a true attribute of Jesus Christ, rolling out and tipping their fucking tax tables over and whipping their asses with a whip. Yeah, people like, I think his name's Peter Popoff. He's one of the TV pastors. So I picture them being the kind of person that God would come down now and like smite, like lightning bolts, because they're the evil motherfuckers who don't just misrepresent God, you know, because I don't really care about that as much, but they take advantage of old people where they say things like you know All you got to do is you just send in your check you send in your check And I send you a vial of holy water this water has been blessed when you're gonna take that water

You're gonna sprinkle it over the table that you pay your bills on you're gonna See the Lord's gonna come through for you all you do is wait you get that check you put it in the mail the Lord Is looking out for you? I promise some Peter Papa, and it's like you're a piece of shit You're a shameless piece of shit and this guy uh it came out this is this is this guy's an old example years ago but he would take he had an earpiece in and his wife would be in the back area uh with the people who were going up there and so she would be talking to people getting information like what's your name oh susan what are you here for oh you have

glaucoma all right well, you have glaucoma. All right, well, Susan with glaucoma, we're going to get your eyesight back. Just give us what you can. And so then they'd go up there, and they would think that Peter Popoff had no idea who they were. And so they would go, oh, oh, man. Oh, Susan, I can feel the Lord is telling me your name is Susan, and I can feel that you have glaucoma. Your eyes cause trouble to you, my and it was like oh and they would uh this guy and his wife would make shitty comments about the people coming to get help from them they'd be like look at this stupid crippled idiot

thinking we're gonna save him how much did you get him for like it it's a level of shamelessness that's baffling like yeah then let me ask you this i don't remember this exactly like i know that jesus like roughed up the tax collectors but then it seemed like he like told one of his apostles or something that they they actually do have to pay this tax though but i shouldn't have to pay the tax i should be exempt because i'm the son of god go to the sea and a fish will come forth and take the fish and in its mouth is a shekel and take that shekel and pay for you and i that that happened right is that the same story uh it might be i i know it sounds really familiar it definitely happened like i'm not just making that up it

definitely happened well i mean in the bible well it's in the bible is where we should say it but yeah i don't know when that i know but of course you're talking about the story where, you know, Jesus is so mad when he goes into the... Because he wasn't mad at the tax collecting per se or the usury, I guess. He was mad at the fact they were doing it in the temple. And so they had tables set up everywhere because he was like in a new town. He wanted to go to the temple, see what was up. And he went in and there was no worship going on it was just tables of wares and you know people paying taxes and loaning money out and so in a very christ-like way he goes bananas grabs a whip

and starts whipping all around this temple at people whipping them as they're like, ah, Jesus! You know? Jesus Christ! That guy's out of control! And they're just whipping these people, whipping them until they run out of the temple, and he's scolding them the whole time. And I don't know. I like that Jesus. I like take charge, get it done.

I like this too because it was bad for business. They'd just be like, you know what? The temple is a place where, you know, unpleasant people like yourself aren't allowed to be because otherwise they won't be in the temple. Because he hated all – because obviously a lot of the people who were benefiting from those usury laws and the tax shit were the church. And the people like the head honchos at the time were like the Pharisees and the Sadducees who were basically like their priests, the big – we read the Bible. You guys – or we read the Torah. You guys can't read shit.

We take care of it all for you. And he, he was so mad at them that he said, uh, uh, what was it? He said, when you pray, go into your rooms and do so in private, do not do it for people to see. Obviously I butchered the exact language of that, but it led him, which is why I still hated it, I hated it in fucking school when we would go to the goddamn chapels once a week and have to sing about Jesus and get some stupid speaker or whatnot

it wasn't once a week, but too often we'd have to do this shit and all the time, all the time there were teachers who wanted to show off how fucking godly they were, and so they would do this shit, they'd stand up in front of everyone in the front row, right in front of the band playing, and raise their hands up and be, oh, God, oh, I'm feeling God. And it was like, you are exactly the fucking person that Jesus was talking about. You are fucking faking it.

You're faking it so people will think you're a better Christian. You're not just a bad Christian because Jesus also said that he will keep the hot and the cold in his mouth, but he will spit out the lukewarm. That means that the people who don't know of him and the people who are all about him, he'll keep in his mouth, he'll keep in his system. But if you know about him and you still reject it and you misinterpret his laws and you do things like, oh, he doesn't mean me. He doesn't mean me to stay humble. He needs me up here being a beacon for the Lord to all these kids. Like, no, you're lukewarm. You're doing this for your own gain. Pissed me off then, still pisses me off now, because it's so fucking hypocritical. I like when

Jesus is petty. Jesus is riding along on his burro, and he sees that he's a little hungry, a bit peckish. He sees a fig tree up ahead, and he's like, oh! Rides over to the fig tree and looks digging around through the leaves. Not a single fucking fig. And he gets angry, of course,

as the... When a fig tree doesn't have some figs on it, and he's peckish. And he says, you shall never bear fruit again. And the bush withered away and died. And he wrote off, the fuck is that meant to teach us?

What is the allegory there? What do we take from this? That, like, if you don't have the goods when when the people want them like they'll just turn aside what am i learning from that that's absurd what you uh what you're actually supposed to learn from that is that god says you will know a tree by its fruits meaning that you will know a person by what they produce and so this tree he was looking at it it was producing nothing. It had the ability to produce, and it chose instead to not. The tree chose.

In this allegory, basically. The tree, it had the sun, it had the dirt, it had everything it needed to create figs, and it did not do it. It knew it should be making figs, and it did not. So is that like a person who doesn't go forth and be fruitful and multiply? Do you think that maybe someone like myself, who has made it a lifelong goal not to reproduce, would that be looked down as poorly as a fig tree not producing fruit? Oh, yeah. Definitely.

I feel like if Christ saw me, he'd make my cock wither immediately. He'd point at it and, like, it will never get hard again. And my cock would just wither away. Yeah, he may. You know, you have to be too careful. Kyle's reasons to kill himself yeah he just throws his account away number one and it's not even not having sex anymore if you told me you'll never have sex again still will live through that if if i can't

masturbate though then the like what is the point like there's got to be some sex of some kind or life's not worth going on. If I can still masturbate, all right. Well, you know, I got the one hand left. It works. You know, if you couldn't masturbate, but you could still have sex, you can maybe make that work, too. Oh, yeah. 100% could make that work.

Like, sex is definitely more important than masturbation. Yeah. You know, we started talking about Comey. We got distracted by his height and penis size and never really finished the conversation. So fucking Lutang and Dong in the Senate. Come on. I just like talking about Comey, we got distracted by his height and penis size and never really finished the conversation. So fucking, Lutang and Dong in the Senate! Come on! I just like talking about the Bible. I realized,

uh, oh. I was gonna say on the podcast, every week, not every week, but, you know, at least twice a month, I come in thinking, like, ooh, this could be the week that, you know, like, minds are changed, positions are reversed, and the Trump grit will set in, and it never seems to happen. But I feel like certainly the Trump experience is getting chipped away. I'll say this thing, this notion that he might actually do something as president seems

to be like not even an expectation anymore, right? Like he just did that signing ceremony for his memo. Did you guys catch that big thing? Negative. Oh, well, he did a signing ceremony, gave all the pens away to people, had cameras in, brought in this little desk. And all he did was he wrote a memo to Congress saying that they should privatize the FAA, like privatized airports and stuff. And they're like, this wasn't a. Oh, I'd love that. He acted like he signed a law, but he didn't. He didn't actually... It wasn't an executive order.

It wasn't a law. It was literally just a memo from him to Congress making a suggestion. And he put a big ceremony around it to act like he was getting things done. And people went wild with it because he's not getting anything done. Like, the first 100 days, when was that? Like, 50 days ago? I've forgotten. But he really didn't get... Was it 50, RM? I probably know.? Like 50 days ago? I've forgotten. But he really didn't get...

Was it 50 or? I don't know. Probably not. 30, 40 days ago. Doesn't matter. Close enough. Doesn't matter. But like in the first 100 days, it was like, wow, he really hasn't done very much at all.

You take away the Supreme Court nomination and I can't think of much. You know, it's certainly positive stuff. There's a bunch of executive orders. Now, like, I just don't like... Are there any bills being worked on are there any like infrastructure plan yeah the infrastructure thing is big right now it's like a trillion dollar infrastructure bill i saw bernie sanders really tearing into that but i didn't i don't give him much credence when it comes to something on that level um yeah yeah sure um i don't know if he's

gonna get anything done either it really seems like to me, from the outside looking in and watching that hearing today, it seems like everybody in the room thinks it's a big fucking joke. All those senators were kind of like, there was some levity there. There were some laughs. He said something like, he made some quip about not wanting to be left alone in the room with him. Trump. Okay. Donald Trump.

Comey made some quip about not wanting to be left alone in the room with Trump or something like that, and it seemed like everybody laughed. You could feel kind of a collective thing like, yeah, none of us do. Because he'll lie on you. You want to have somebody with you. You want

co-counsel with you, your partner with you, or you want the Attorney General, or you want the VP. You want somebody else in the room who will corroborate your story when it comes down to it, because he'll lie. And even more than he'll lie, I think he'll misremember, and then start remembering the way he wants to.

His private attorneys, I'm told, only meet him in pairs because they feel like Trump will change the story and lie about what happened, and they need backup. What do you guys think about how it came out? Because they feel like Trump will change the story and lie about what happened and they need to back up. Yeah. What do you guys think about how it came out? He's definitely guilty of like a revisionist self-history kind of thing.

Sorry, I think I might be lagging a little bit because I'm like talking and then might be stomping over you. Sorry about that. For the record, I've seen that we've had internet issues and my internet's perfect. I'm running a ping. I don't know what's causing it. Yeah, I don't know. It could be internet on my end. I don't have anything else I am so fucking hot

I am so so hot that like like my my face is hot my whole body like I I'm explaining what hot feels like I'm so hot. You guys know what it feels like. Yeah, but um, but tell me Well, it's like. Yeah. But, um, but. Tell me more. Yeah. Well, it's like a warm sensation, like radiating, radiating. It's like, I'm not, I'm not comfortable. I'm not comfortable. I'm not comfortable. I don't have time to think because I'm not comfortable.

I'm not comfortable. I'm hot. I'm sweaty. I need to make his debut. Yeah. Take it off. But, um, what do you guys think about the fact that that New York Times article, or really all those articles that were claiming that Trump was under investigation, like was a fact comey debunked that and yeah like the only thing that

didn't leak throughout the all these leaks all these leaks the only thing that didn't leak is the fact that trump wasn't under investigation like how does that not show deliberate in intent to harm trump leaking that's exactly what it was it was clear that all of the leaks were meant to trump also yeah the leaks are meant to harm trump. Also, yeah, the leaks are meant to harm Trump. Also the fact that when Comey was asked, did Trump try to get you to stop the Russian investigation, he said no. He said he wanted me to stop after Flynn. He did. He said that when he was being asked today. He said, no, he did not do that. What I felt it was like is that he was telling me to let go of the Flynn thing, but I did not feel like he was asking me to shut down the Russia investigation. He actually told me to find out if there were agents who were working with Russia.

Like, it's just this whole thing has, like, so now I'm waiting for the pivot. Because clearly there's not direct collusion between Trump and Russia. There's not. And so I'm thinking the pivot is going to be, okay, well, now he's obstructing justice. is going to be, okay, well, now he's obstructing justice. Now we're going to go to the obstructing justice angle, which is still interesting because what Comey admitted in this is that when he thought that justice was being obstructed with Loretta Lynch and the Clintons,

basically when she met him on the tarmac and whatnot, and they were, you know, Loretta Lynch and Bill Clinton talking about the Hillary email thing, Comey said, I think that he said that made me uneasy, it made me feel like it was unfair, and what did he do? He ended up shutting down the investigation. Similar thing happens with Trump, and what's he decided to do? Appoint a special counsel. And so it's like, but on the same token, you can't look at the Loretta Lynch thing and be like, ah, see, see, obstruction of justice that's awful

and then also and then look at the trump thing where he says uh baby don't invest flit or investigate flit anymore you know and say oh that's fine that's whatever because everybody out there who's conservative if obama fucking said to the fbi investigator hey i want you to lay off this person in my cabinet or whatever, you would be rightfully upset by it. So both things can be true. Both things are bad. And it's just a very huge difference in the way Comey responded. In one, he shuts down the investigation. In the other, he takes it ultimately seriously. He refused, by the way, the one thing, like, what Trump was pissed about is that Comey never came out and said, you're not under investigation, Donald Trump, you are not under investigation.

That, when Trump said he told me three times, that was confirmed today. It was confirmed that he told them three different times that you are not under investigation, and Trump was upset because Comey would not say, you're not under investigation in public. And so Trump, being the narcissistic, fickle, impatient, surround-yourself-with-yes-men kind of guy that he is, I'm convinced he just said, fine, you won't fucking go with my plan. You're fired. I'll get someone else in. And because there's nobody around him to say, hey, you know what? That makes you look like a suspicious douche.

Because he surrounds himself with yes men and loyal to a fault people that he just made a stupid political ploy. Yep. I agree with all that. I thought that today it didn't look like what came out today to me. It made Trump look more incompetent and like he didn't know what the hell he was doing, especially as it comes to protocol. And I don't know anything about protocol either. None of us do because we're not ingrained in it like a Washington, D.C. politician. But I thought it was interesting. They were like were like what he taught he spoke to the

fbi director without the attorney general in the room but but that doesn't and i was like why is that a problem i don't understand they're like oh well that's his boss he can't do that it and and i i saw paul ryan come out he said oh you gotta hold on the thing about trump not working with the russians as a confirmed piece of fact is not true right like we do know as a confirmed piece of fact is not true, right? Like, we do know as a confirmed piece of fact that Trump said, I'll tell you this, Russia, if you're listening, I hope you're able to find the 30,000 emails that are missing. I think you'll be rewarded mightily by our press.

Do you think that is, that's not collusion or evidence of any collusion at all? That is exactly what it is, right? No, it's not. It is precisely, undeniably, irrevocably asking the Russians to hack Hillary Clinton's emails and release them, which is what they did, right? No, it's not. It is precisely, undeniably, irrevocably asking the Russians to hack Hillary Clinton's emails and release them, which is what they did. No, it is not. No, it is not.

That is working with the Russians to influence the Russians. No, it's not. How is that not working with the Russians? Because, obviously, he's not telling Russians. Just because he did it in public doesn't mean that's not asking the Russians to influence the election. Maybe you're right, but that's not pollution and it's not illegal. And then headed into the campaign after Trump was going to

get the... Headed into the campaign where they do the... What the fuck is it called? The convention. The convention I'm going for. One second, Kyle. So headed into convention, he had the Republicans change the plank about Russia into the platform

it used to say that the u.s would provide ukraine with lethal lethal defensive weapons and they changed that to be appropriate assistance right so they're backing off this whole russian ukraine thing when it was the republicans previously that were more aggressive towards this they felt like obama it's kind of a pussy towards letting yeah obama letting the russian reset in 2012 where he wanted you know the reset with russia yeah and that didn't work i looked at the definition of continue to fuck him and yeah he wanted to do a russian reset obama was kind of like not as harsh against russia as the republicans were until trump came along and once trump became the leader of the republican party now he's not even as harsh as obama was right he stepped it back there's a lot

of smoke around this thing there's a taylor went for like 10 it back. There's a lot of smoke around this thing. Taylor went for like 10 minutes. There's a lot of like, you know, whether it be Kushner setting up back channels, whether it be, you know, Trump praising Russia for not responding to the sanctions that Obama put in place, and then talking to them behind the scenes saying, hey, we're going to release these sanctions on you as soon as we get on board. And then the Russians undeniably did do their best to influence the election. So that is it's not undeniably at all. Like there's nothing confirmed about that. There's no collusion between Trump, even if Flynn and Manafort, it turns out that they're shady and there was shit going on. That still does not at all implicate trump himself as colluding with russia like i said today is there should be no fuzz on this whatsoever

the russians interfered with our election during the 2016 cycle they did it with purpose they did it with sophistication they did it with overwhelming technical efforts it was driven from the top of their government it is not a close call that happened happened. We've known that from the beginning, though. The bridge between that and Trump asked for this and colluded with them to do it is where none of the evidence is. I think the definition... I want to talk. I want 15 solid seconds. Yeah, take a minute. The definition of collusion might be important, right? Collusion isn't a word I use in my day-to-day, so I had to look it up. I wanted to know what collusion isn't a word I use in my day-to-day, so I had to look it up. I wanted to know what collusion meant. Secret or illegal cooperation or conspiracy, especially in order

to cheat or deceive others. So I do think that him saying it in public at a campaign rally or on the mic negates it being collusion necessarily. I see your point, and I understand where you're coming from, and he's definitely up there saying that. I just don't think, and I've said this before, we've defined the word before, that it meets the qualifications of collusion as the law would view them especially. And I think at the end of this, four years from now, ten years from now, what we're going to find is that Trump did a lot of things, a lot of things that were unsavory, wrong, morally corrupt. But I don't think we're going to find anything that Trump did illegal against the law that could be prosecutable, impeachable, or any of the above. I don't think that will ever be found.

I think we'll find a lot of smoke and we'll see a lot of things he did where we're like, God damn it, what a shady motherfucker he was. But I don't think he's going to break the law. You might be right. To be honest, I should have looked up collusion too because I was just using it as a synonym for cooperation, which he did out in the open. Out in the open, he asked the Russians to hack emails

and they did and they released it every week. I remember we used to joke about it. We're like, you know, they're getting maximum mileage out of this. If they were a YouTuber, they didn't release all these videos on one day. They did daily videos to make sure they got all the mileage possible. We talked about that. And, you know, that was done. It may have been done whether Trump requested it or not, but that's what Trump requested. You know, he requested that they hack these emails and that they just distribute them. But to pretend like him saying, you know, if someone's got all those emails that, you know,

and they let them go, you know, I think our press would reward you mightily for it. Like tying that at a speech to him colluding with Russia to win the election and to cheat is where they're between those two things. There is no evidence at all, like which is why I think they are going to pivot. at all like which is why i think they are going to pivot because this this hearing with comey today really did not it wasn't the full you know aha vindicated that a lot of people on the right wanted but it also did not go well for the democrats because comey didn't come out and say yeah we got all this stuff we got this we got that he actually came out and said yeah the new york times they got that story wrong and slate and huffuffPo and CNN and MSNBC and fucking Fox Business or whoever else reported it yeah they all reported it as fact and it was wrong that he was under investigation that's not true like it's just like that's a huge story for the last

few months it's been confirmed and reported as such that Trump is under investigation uh Schumer I didn't think that was true Elizabeth Warren both of those people used that as an excuse to say, you shouldn't be able to put Gorsuch in as a Supreme Court justice. You're under investigation by the FBI. You know, it was a huge news story. And it comes out today that that is 100% bunk. I remember them saying, until this Russian thing is settled. That was the language that I heard.

I never thought Trump was under investigation. Everyone around Trump seems to be under investigation. I didn't know that other people thought Trump himself was under investigation. Everyone around Trump seems to be under investigation. I didn't know that other people thought Trump himself was under investigation. It seems to me they're getting everyone next to him before they go after the president of the United States directly. They did ask Comey, do you think Trump colluded with Russia? And his response was, I can't answer that in an open setting it all right go ahead sorry that to me is not like the vindication that's not no it's not yes but god you know it sounds like he's got that

that's not an answer that would make me comfortable if i was trump you know like oh i'll tell you let me get into that in an hour from now when we talk privately like you were saying that they're going after the people close to trump they They fucking get Jeff Sessions right away, right? Like, that motherfucker is just the worst. Not a big fan of him, even a little bit. That's a real cunt. I don't like the drug stuff. I don't like how he was amping up anti-weed stuff.

It's like, how did we hit the tipping point of this, finally? He's like the only guy left who's that backwards, and he happens to be the only guy in the position of enforcement on that like he's the guy who gets to decide and he's like old-timey and backwards as it fucking gets yeah it's that that's infuriating i don't like that a lot too he seemed like he was running cover for trump on this whole russian thing and then he had to recuse recuse himself i forget what the event was that made sessions be like like, alright, I gotta get out. Oh, was it when they ran the thing

to them before it got public? I forget. They had information and they told Trump about it. There's so much to keep track of. We're on the same page on that one. So many times that you'll be following a lead or a story and you'll think it's relevant and then three days later

it turned out to be complete smoke, like not even relevant or even a thing sometimes. And you're like, God damn it. So much misinformation. And I just want to be informed. It feels to me like on this Russian thing, that there are a lot of people doing the investigation on team Trump.

Like I felt that way about Richard Burr for a long time, right? Like he's leading the whatever Senate investigation. And then he just seems like he's there to protect Trump while leading the investigation against him. You know, like, oh, my God, you know, don't we all wish we had that scenario, like your own friends and family with the people investigating you? And Sessions seemed like he was that guy until something happened, which he pretty much was forced to recuse himself. I can't remember the event. And Comey was a guy that it seems like wasn't that,

and then he got fired. And that was a neat little line too, like, do you believe the president fired you over the Russia investigation? And he said, yes, because I've heard the president say so, right? Because he said to Lester Holt in that interview, I fired him because of this.

And then of course he told the Russians, like, oh, this guy's a kook. This is going to take a lot of pressure off of me etc that's obstruction of justice like i i feel like it's it's not obstruction of justice not if he didn't actually commit a crime i actually heard a harvard professor uh of law talked about how it is not obstruction of justice i'm actually not an attorney cliff hutchinson's made up it's not real um i know i know impersonating an attorney are you serious okay all that legal advice i gave you it is my paperwork you've been notarizing all my shit but no it's not collusion like and i another thing i i read

that it's so just for what it's worth oh i was on the internet today and someone i forget who the source was and it's on the internet so clearly it's true but i was on the internet today and someone i forget who the source was and it's on the internet so clearly it's true but they linked a legal precedent where it was proved to be obstruction of justice and the guy used the same language when he said like you know i hope that you can see your way to make this not happen at all you know and the flynn investigation what have you so i was like oh well there's some sort of legal precedent where that i hope precursor doesn't make the guy innocent. There's not a legal, but there's not a legal precedent for even, like, running the president up on criminal charges.

Like, I was listening to CNN explain that today. They're like, there's not a precedent for even filing charges against the president. Like, in the Nixon thing, he was a co-conspirator in other charges, and that's how they got him involved. But they were saying, like, even if he has broken the law, we're not sure if we can even do anything, because Congress isn't going to impeach him. It's going to be on something related to this. It'll be on the cover-up. It'll be on the obstruction. I don't think they're actually going to get him for colluding with the Russians. When they get gangsters, they get them on tax evasion or something. I think it's going to be something in that family.

Trump got ran out of town, not because he clued with the Russians, but because he's a constant double parker. And he does not pay his, I don't believe in single parking, I'm a girthy man, and I need an exit room. Yeah, and they're just going to get him out on something other than the actual thing they got him out on. If it happens at all. Alright, let me do an advertisement, and perhaps we could shift to maybe some TV talk, because I know we've all got shows we're enjoying right now. The doldrums of

the January and February months are long over, and TV has kicked up a few notches. I'm embarrassed by how current I am on several series. I've devoted too much time to television. Have no shame. No shame. Let me tell everyone about Smart Mouth first. Bad breath is nasty, embarrassing, and a major problem in both the boardroom and the bedroom.

Most people still don't know the true cause of bad breath. Instead, relying on ineffective, low-tech methods like gum or mints to mask the odor. When you smell bad breath, you're actually smelling volatile sulfur compounds, also called sulfur gas. Germs in your mouth consume protein and produce these foul-smelling gases as a form of waste. SmartMouth is the only activated oral rinse clinically proven to eliminate existing bad breath and prevent the return of sulfur gas for a full 12 hours per rinse. SmartMouth comes in a two-chamber bottle.

One side contains a clear sulfur eliminator, and the other contains a green zinc ion activator. The eliminator and activator are kept separate until you pour, at which point the two liquids combine and activate. The sulfur eliminator gets rid of existing bad breath, and the activator releases billions of zinc ions, which bind to the germs and block the germs' ability to consume protein or produce that smelly sulfur gas for 12 hours. No sulfur gas, no bad breath. If you want to solve a real problem, you need real science, not a minty cover-up. Nobody wants to be that guy with bad breath, and now you never will.

Find SmartMouth at Walmart, Walgreens, CVS, Target, Amazon, or your favorite shop, or visit them online at SmartMouth.com to get an in-depth analysis of how SmartMouth is able to deliver such an incredible result. Remember to use code PAINKILLER when you visit smartmouth.com for free shipping today. Yeah, code PAINKILLER for free shipping today, smartmouth.com.

That's what you want. Dude, my mouth has been, I can taste it. Let me, I want to run and pee, but first I want to finish this field about Smart like a couple times this week i don't know if it's because i haven't been eating food or what but like my breath my mouth i could taste it i was like oh it tastes so nasty and i do that thing where you're like into your hand and i was like god damn my breath smells rotten it smelled like I had gotten like a piece of meat stuck in my tooth and it had rotten I was like so I go to the bathroom and I get the

smart mouth and I'm just spit and immediately I'm fixed like like it took it I usually rinse for 60 seconds in the morning like as a part of my routine but this was afternoon like three seconds spit and I was like oh I'm fixed'm fixed. That's an instant fix. It takes care of you all day. It lasts an insanely long amount of time. It's not some hokum. They've got real scientific clinicals showing that they last this long. There was a thread on it about the Reddit. I saw

every once in a while they do, oh, I tried this product or tried that product, and everybody really seemed to like it. I'm really happy about that. I hope you guys are getting laid more. You should be getting laid more if you've been getting in shape with us and your breath is incredible. You're really covering all your bases. All you need after that is money.

You just need money, smart mouth, and to be in reasonable shape. So there you go. And you're just going to slay it. You're going to slay it. They also, if you're a cigarette smoker, a cigar smoker, maybe a smoker of whatever else you may smoke, they have a dry mouth rinse as well. So if you get that tacky, awful dry mouth feeling, use their dry mouth

rinse. Gets rid of your dry mouth and it has the smart mouth breath technology. So it knocks out your bad breath at the same time all day. So I'd recommend that highly. If you have a problem with bad breath, you can obviously buy that all the same places tell me maybe you have a friend that would know but does pot give you bad breath like cigarettes does i uh i have heard that yes i have heard that one of the side effects of it is that it dries your mouth out and gives you because like here's a thing people don't know if you ever taste your mouth and you go, oh, that's kind of dry. You already have bad breath. Dry mouth means you have bad breath.

Like, if you realize your mouth is dry, your breath's already bad. Sorry, you've already passed that base. You've got to knock it out with both. So take care of the dry mouth. Take care of the bad breath. You're going to be getting laid like nobody's business. Okay. And smoking as many cigars as you want like a fancy man like a fancy man

i i know you'll agree with me on this because you have the same position towards wine and whatnot but when you have you ever smoked a cigar have you smoked a few uh yeah like less than three in my life but i've tried it oh okay i i want to like it and i want to feel cultured and like i want i I don't know, like when I see a bunch of people smoking cigars, it makes me feel like, oh, that's cool, like Tony Soprano, like look how hardcore that guy is walking around cigar, and every time I do it, it's like, oh, this isn't in the cards for me, this sucks. Yeah, I've been in environments where like that particular cigar actually smells good

to me, like I find that to be actually smells good to me. Like I find that to be a pleasant odor. I wonder if I'd like smoking that. The answer is no, I would not like it. I'm almost like lucky in that I really don't like alcohol and I really don't like cigarettes and I really don't like cigars. That's not good. I wish I hated sugar. that they like that's there and they are very tricky you're right I'm glad you mentioned the smell thing because the smell of someone's smoking a cigar like the actual smoke skin smell great you can be like oh that that cherry maple, maple, oak, whatever mixture. I can smell it. It smells

so complex and nice. And then you try a hit and you're like, ah, smoke. It is smoke. The flavor comes out after you blow it. Anyway, go ahead. No, you go ahead. I was just going to rattle on about it. Pens are up 6-0 after two periods.

Ah, the poor pens. That it yeah it's less yeah i i am relatively confident that nashville's got one touchdown in them and they'll come back if they could just take it down the ice and get it into the end zone so i really want to see him go to seven games because like and this is crazy because uh pecorine the goalie for the predatorsators, first two games against Pittsburgh, played horrible. His save percentage round one against Chicago was like.97, 97%. It's insanely high. For those out there who don't know much about hockey,

we'll say 91% is about average, 90-91. Against the Blues, his save percentage was 93%, 93.5 or something, still incredible. Against the Ducks, like 92-ish, lowered a little bit. And against the Pens, it's been like.79 the first two games. He let in like 13 goals in the first two games in Pittsburgh. In his whole career up until, I guess, last game, he had never won a game against Pittsburgh.

Or two games ago, he had never won his whole career against Pittsburgh. He was like 0-9 against them. And now he's back in Pittsburgh again tonight getting shellacked, just getting shelled. It's so crazy how much that home advantage matters. Because he played like a dynamo those two games in Nashville. And now they're back in Pittsburgh for game five. And he looks like this is his first day in the rink, I assume. Does Crosby have any goals?

Crosby does not have any goals. He sucks. That's why. Yeah, he does. He has three assists, though. Fuck. You devolve to hockey talk without him? Yeah.

Fargo. No, it's because the Pens are up 6-0 after two. All talk without Fargo! It's because the Pens are up 6-0 after 2. Oh, that's wonderful if they're up 6-0. You know what? I enjoyed both the first two seasons of Fargo more than the third. It's just, it's evolving too slowly for me. I do like the one British character with the teeth, but

by and large, I don't know.'s not i fucking love it episode season three is better than season uh two and uh are you up to date woody i know we talked about this before the show fully up to date so when the when the deaf guy from season two reappears in season three i was like oh my god this is great i love. Only now do the storylines converge, at least that I've noticed. Though it's a really deep show with lots of shit going on in the background. And I love this most recent episode. It's probably my favorite episode thus far.

The whole crossbow hunting thing. Them getting set up for the bus crash thing. How ruthless they are that they run that couple down and murder them. The whole scene in the woods was really well done. And then we get to the bowling alley. And I love that. I think what's going on there, I didn't Google or anything. I should have to make sure that I interpreted this correctly. It seemed to me that that man sitting there was the rabbi himself that was interpreted this correctly. It seemed to me that that man sitting there was the rabbi himself that was telling the story. Remember that man sat there and told him a story

about the Cossacks in Russia killing an untold number of Jews and burying them in a mass grave, and how a Jewish rabbi came forward and said, when I die, bury me there in that mass grave, and I will be the comfort to those souls. Through me, they will gain peace. I think the man sitting there is that rabbi, and Yuri, the Russian guy, his descendant was one of the Cossacks who slaughtered those Jews, and now you have this man coming down, and he's adding a little supernatural to the mix all of a sudden these are the ufos of season three i think and he's he's coming down and giving assistance to the woman and the deaf man and he's giving a warning to yuri and i i was like oh my god we just like

it was like in uh house of cards when you get to the elysian fields episode and the big crow is up there etc etc cetera, et cetera. You're like, whoa. Things just expand a little bit. There's more to think about now. I'm digging season three. I don't like the female cop. I find her to be wanting. She's not funny at all.

She's not funny at all. She's wanting. That's the thing. Like, she... I could think of a few actresses who would just be better. There are just other actresses who could have done a better job,

who could have been funnier or quippier. And notice I'm not even saying more attractive because that's not what I want from that character. I want that to be my Sherlock Holmes. And she just doesn't fit the bill. I'm a little upset with that casting, and that's my only complaint. When I was in high school, I read the book Animal Farm. I liked it.

You know, the horses and the sheep and whatever and then after everyone has finished reading the book the teacher explained like you know there's three ways that people absorb this book one they just don't get it they didn't follow it whatever two people like the book they think it was a pretty neat story about animals three they get the symbolism to you know russia's evolution into communism and what happened to the workers that got them there and stuff and i was like oh my god like this book went from hey i like the story about a bunch of farm animals to like my like exploded i feel like when i watch fargo i'm on level two like just like wait like what i might genuinely have alzheimer's because

i didn't remember that that guy was from season two. The deaf guy. It seemed like it was three years ago to me. He's a main character. Mr. Numbers. I remembered it because I'm not as far as you guys. I haven't watched episode eight. He's even wearing the same shirt.

Yeah. It shows that guy in episode seven in like the very end of it, which is as far as I've gotten. And I was like, oh, yeah, fucking deaf guy. Like, all right. I like you ish. But like your brother was funnier. When he put his dick in that cup, I didn't realize he was peeing in it. And I didn't realize that's what he drank.

Now I am multitasking while I'm watching the show. So I'll give myself a little bit of break. It's not completely just in a malfunctioning brain, but yeah, I feel like I'm watching Fargo on a very superficial level you must be multitasking a lot because i i hadn't seen the episode last time we spoke about this and you were and kyle was like he clearly peed in the cup he played in the cup and then you were like you know oh i didn't notice that i remember i watched the scene now yeah and i was not multitasking so

obviously i was all the way that's the best thing you've said i do remember shaking it off at the end yeah you know like you're like shake shaking a couple times get the drips off yeah now you got it but i was watching it and i was not multitasking i was watching the episode and as that started happening i was like this can't be the scene that he didn't catch right the one where he puts his penis in the cup and then presents the man with the full cup of liquid. And then the man goes, I don't want to drink this. And the guy pulls out a gun and he still reservedly puts it to his mouth and shakes and goes like that. If somebody offered me a cup of coffee that was lukewarm and they dipped their cock in it and they pulled the gun out, I would guzzle that down like it was nectar.

Like it was my life being saved. But if it's pee and the gun's out, you're still going to be like, oh, my God. Oh, this guy's teeth are so gross and his pee is so gross. He probably doesn't hydrate. Forgive me for the spoiler. I don't understand. The second in command guy, I don't know his name. I'll call him Chewbacca, you know, his little helper.

Okay. It's chewy to me and uh uh he gives him a bonus of five million dollars and then poisons him i don't understand what happened in the he really gave him a bonus he was uh luring him in as the wolf may into his den and oh are you upset well i'm about to give you five million dollars he happens to be a Jewish character. He's saying that, too. So it really puts him at ease. And just enough so that the man, for some reason, accepts tea

from Fargus while Fargus watches him fucking consume the tea from six inches away from his face. He's like, no, no, have a little more tea. I was like, goddamn, he's the most easy-to-poison guy I've ever seen in my life. If Cosby had victims like this, he'd still be on to poison guy i've ever seen in my life like if cosby had victims like this he'd still be on a roll still be on a roll um i i so now i know the guy gets poisoned

yeah glad i could help sorry you know he doesn't die if if you want me to oh now i know he lives double spoiler double well we don't know how. It seemed so nice, I ruined it twice. Yeah. You know what? Just to unspoil a little more, I thought he did die, but that's me, so you don't know what the fuck happens. He did not die. 100,000% did not. I think he died.

So, Taylor, you don't fully know. Incorrect. He's in a coma. He's in a coma. Yeah, because they show the date, so a coma. Incorrect. He's in a coma. Remember, he's in a coma. Yeah, because they show the date. So a bit of time passes. That's what happens when you surf the web while watching this dumbass show. Yeah, they even write the new date on the board,

and they show that now the guy's got a beard because he's been in a coma so long or whatever. They started in like, remember, it was like just after Christmas, and he was like, I'm going to give you a $5 million bonus. And he's like, but we already had one this this year and he's like second this is the second round there were going to be three but i thought for tax purposes we should wait till after the new year so that lets us know that it's somewhere between christmas day and new year's when the man is poisoned and then the next scene you see him in the hospital with a goddamn beard

and they're riding march 20th on the uh marker board or something like that and like all of his medications and shit um so he's been in the coma for three four months they just put him completely out of commission i doubt he's getting his bonus well fargo's not a one-dimensional show it's it's it's it's um it's definitely and it's not and i don't pick up on everything and i certainly don't pick up on all the hidden meanings, and some of it I think is just left up for interpretation, and each person will take his own thing from it, unless you go to the creator, the writer, or whoever,

and ask them what they meant, you might never figure it out. I'm not a big fan of the addition of supernatural at all into this series. Like last season, season two two at the very end when after constructing that entire you know orchestrating the whole plot it gets to be aliens like i that really pissed me off well they showed the aliens in episode one and episode 10 or whatever right so i mean they let you know it's gonna be a little weird it's i don't i don't like it i feel like it takes away from it because it's it's the same way that... What's that movie that Quentin Tarantino did, Until Dawn?

From Dusk Till Dawn? That's Robert Rodriguez. Quentin Tarantino was a writer. Oh, okay. Yeah, he was in that movie, though, when he sucked the toes. He was in the movie. Yeah. It was like that movie where it went, and it was a really interesting

kidnapping film for a long time, and then out, uh, it was like that movie where it went and it was a really interesting kidnapping film for a long time. And then out of nowhere, it's like they just realized, oh, how do we wrap this up? I don't know, fucking vampires. Like, just throw fucking mystical vampires in it. And I don't like that because it's like, it's lazy. It feels lazy to me. It's like you didn't weave this into the story. You took these people out of Middle Earth and plopped them in fucking Seattle.

Or I guess the reverse of that at the last second. You didn't reinvent characters. You just changed the setting to get a few more miles out of it. And I feel like that's what they did in season two. I haven't seen the supernatural part of season three yet, but I hope it's more muted and more minimalized. I doubt it will be. It's what I just mentioned.

It's what I just mentioned. Oh, that's all there is? It's the ghost slash angel of the rabbi, I think. That's what I took. Coming back from the dead to interject himself into this showdown between Yuri, whose ancestors killed those Jews in that mass grave. And there's even that point where Yuri and that really tall, dorky guy from all those movies in the early 2000s are hunting the people in the...

He's from that movie, The New Guy, where he transfers to a new school and he puts on a new persona. He's like, I'm going to be a badass here. And he does. He was in Road Trip. He's been in lots of shit. I don't even know. Really tall, like 90 pounds. And he does. He was in Road Trip. He's been in lots of shit. Really tall, like 90 pounds. I know the guy.

Yeah. So he's got a tattoo on his arm that says Helga. And Yuri says, I knew a Helga once. She never shut up. And one of those Jews that was massacred way back when, her name was Helga. So when the Jewish rabbi reincarnate, at least that's what I took, is sitting there, he says, Yuri, I've got a message for you from Helga. And then we have that crazy

supernatural black and white flashback to a field full of Jew ghosts and there's Helga standing in front, like give him the stink eye. So I didn't mind that at all. I liked that little bit of supernatural mixed into the bit. The UFOs were way too much.

Season 2, in my opinion, is just bad. But you've got to watch it to get the whole flow now, I think. I used to recommend not seeing Season 2, but now that I see that the deaf guy has returned in Season 3, you need to know his story and what a badass he is. And he's the bad guy that you can kind of root for in all of this house of cards yeah we're all with house of cards all of us so so hey as to the listener uh there's time stamps hopefully you know before

long we are going to spoil the fuck out of house of cards know that going into this conversation uh i liked it i thought it was very good i think i gave this one a little more attention than i gave fargo for example uh i i thought i predicted the ending i thought the ending was going to be this um the so you have the underwoods claire and what's the frank and uh um you have the Underwoods and they're kind of like corrupt together. You know, they're both bad people, but they're on the same team and you watch them do their despicable things. And the other guys were like the all American apple pie super people. But throughout the campaign, they kind of devolved a bit into being a little Underwoody.

You know, they they were more willing to break a rule they're more willing to like you know play dirty if that's what it took to win the wife went from someone who just supported her husband through thick and thin to someone who wanted the power who wanted to be first lady who like had her own sort of desires and thirsts and i thought what was going to happen is the other two people were going to win. The Underwoods would lose. And then the husband would talk to the camera as president in the same way

that Frank did. The wife would like knowingly support him as a bad person. And you, the, the takeaway was going to be that it wasn't the people. It was the position that does this to the people. That's how I would have ended it. I think that's neat.

But that's not how it ended. Frank is unique, he and his wife. I think that's kind of the whole point of the show is that they play by their own rules. They don't use the rule book that everyone else uses. They're despicable people who are incredibly narcissistic and self-centered. They really only care about themselves.

I didn't feel that way. The scene you mentioned, she says, don't fault me now because I want it too because she's trying to help with the campaign, but I didn't see that as a negative. That's just her seeing... It's a little ambition,

but it pales in comparison to... What did we see Frank do the first time we see him? He fucking smothers a dog, right? We've seen him murder people in cold blood. And meanwhile, you got this ex-war veteran who's like all shaken up with PTSD over what he saw. Do you think Frank would have any PTSD if he had been in that situation? No, he'd have reveled in it. Was he the war hero after all?

Like he didn't want to talk about that story. There was the guy who was there who also didn't want it like didn't so yeah he really was the hero they didn't spill the beans on that they they kind of leave that up for interpretation for us to figure out i guess what really went down but it was that scene where he was doing the live stream and that guy called into it and he clearly you know it was the guy being like oh you saved me you saved us and it was the guy responding the way you might anticipate i don't know a person with ptsd to respond where it's not like they take advantage of because if he was just a politician and didn't think of it any other way he would have been like keep this guy on the line have him keep telling me i'm a hero uh i'll tell him you know you're a citizen i did everything i

needed to protect you just like i'm gonna do to do, or whatever fucking soundbites it would be. But instead, he was like, get him off. You need to get this guy off here right now because this guy, like he could have a flashback and he could, you know, this could really ruin him. So it's not even worth the undoubtedly awesome points that you would score politically for the risk that he could, you know, revert into some different state.

They're afraid he'll look mentally unstable, and that's going to kill the campaign, right? So any kind of hero points that they might win by telling the full story could be lost in that exchange. And I think that there's definitely a shadow, an inkling, a suggestion there that the story wasn't as heroic as it sounds. They don't even explain how he got there. It's very foggy.

And to me, it almost felt like a mistake in the showmaking process. It's like, were they intending to let us know later what went down, and they just never got to it? Or maybe a character... Did the budget change? Did a character die? What the fuck happened that we're not following this more?

Because there was even that part where they're like... They're questioning. They're like, sir, I'm confused because you're a pilot. Why were you even boots on the ground and i'm like yeah wait what kind of plane was he flying how did he land it then what did he do like like you never get the story and it just seemed needlessly ambiguous and confusing in a show that's already full of like he said she said backstabbing and you you often can't tell a character's true motivations until three episodes later when they show you a flashback of Frank and his wife conspiring and weaving it all together.

And amongst all that, they chose to put this bit of confusion and I didn't care for that. That's probably my biggest complaint. I remember the scene about the boot. Why were you even on the ground? To me, it cast doubt on whether it happened at all, whether it was him, whether he hijacked somebody else's bravery. I was very confused about it. I thought maybe I missed it. He talked about the bodies. I knew he was there because he talked about the way the heat had melted the bodies. So clearly been there.

Something traumatic had happened. My thought process, the thing that makes the most sense to me is that he got there, did something heroic, and then pissed his pants and they had to drag him away like like like like whatever he did broke him right then and there and the people he was saving then had to be his savior like like that's just okay parallels or was that just me yeah if i if i shot down right or something like that i don't know shot down he landed in the water and he like i think he swam someone else to safety and uh the story is just like full-on bravery superman and he was talking to a confidant about it and he's like you know what that story's been so fucked up and twisted i don't even think i know it anymore and uh that's i don't know what happened or what the scoop is

but i felt like there was some sort of parallel the main thing I didn't like at the end of the series, or the end of the season, rather. How many more seasons are there, by the way? Do we know? Don't know. It's not over. There's no way that's it. But at the end, and this is a spoiler,

when it kind of turns out that Frank's not going to be the president anymore, and it just feels so out of character for him to suddenly be like don't you realize i've been orchestrating this the entire time and i have have uh planned my own demise i know that we can be more powerful than ever if i'm out in the private sector and you're in here we'll control both aspects of the country and you know it claire or like whatever the fuck he said and it's like wait what this like number one I know Frank isn't retarded because he would have seen I don't know dozens of other political couples having one person in the government one person the private sector reaping huge benefits

from it and the explanation for that is always both of these people want political power especially Frank he even said earlier in the show, you know, there's a difference between money and power. You know, power is permanent or whatever the fuck he says. And money is. And it's like, what? You just you're just going against your whole kind of life work of putting political authority and power above all else. And suddenly just being like, well, it's not too bad. Claire, you run it from here and I'll and I'll go do something in gas or whatever the fuck. Like, it's like, no, it's not too bad. Claire, you run it from here and I'll go do something in gas or whatever the fuck.

Like, it's like, no, this isn't in line with you at all. This is like if at the end of the movie, you know, Gandalf changed teams and was like, actually, let's go get that ring back. I see a lot of potential. He explains his motivations. He explains his motivations right. He says that when he was at Elysian Fields, he came to this understanding this understanding and it's also at elysian fields i think i think i'm pronouncing that right with the whole secret organization etc that he made that statement

that there's a difference between money and power and one is better and last forever and all that shit um i was thinking he was the name of the bull balls he said that seasons earlier when remy went after the money to work as a lobbyist and he kept the power. He says again but he says that the Elysian Fields thing was his motivation. Think about it. He gets there and he's the president

and nobody wants to fucking deal with him. He looks at what he sees that he doesn't have much power and he sees all the power that these guys out there have and then of course he's all the power that these guys out there have. And then, of course, he's really cornered at the end where he doesn't have much of an option. They're going to impeach him. That's how it is.

It seems. You know what I thought would have been crazy? What if today during the Comey thing, if Trump had walked in and sat down? Trump was on a leash. Can you imagine if Trump did that? He goes in just like House of Cards, that's where he learned about it, and he sits down and he looks over at the camera, he's like, none of these rubes have any idea. They don't buy it. They're all trying to make it, they have no idea what I'm doing. I'm thinking up here, they're thinking down here. And then he looks back at the crowd and they're like, you know, we can hear you, right? Like, how's it going?

That would be so funny. Doing all that. These idiots genuinely think that I eat McDonald's on my plate. Fucking roots, right? That kind of shit. But he does leave McDonald's onald's on his planes his figure has given that way i feel like when oh i i don't even want to say this but i have to so when i land my paramotor what i used to do is like i try to land in a particular spot but i wasn't doing that

i was predicting the spot i would land so i was under the false impression that i hit my spot very frequently when in reality about a hundred feet away I'd be like I bet I land there. I feel like that's what Underwood was doing He was like he moved the target to wherever he was going and said I've been planning this from the very beginning This is the spot. I intend to land right out here in the private sector and resigned to president It's like no no no you you just figured out where you were headed and acted like you aimed for it from the start that's not the truth it's like when you're playing a board game with someone in like monopoly or whatever and three quarters of the way through the game

they start doing like ridiculous moves just to and do that bullshit with like oh i'm just trying to lose as fast as possible i'm gonna lose all my my hotels all this and that trying to rob you of your victory uh and it's like no no you no no we started this game you lost the game and now you're going where i'm putting you which is in the loser bin like don't act like don't don't haughtily saunter over to the loser bin jump into the shit and go feels good i. I love losing. I love this. This was my plan the whole time. And it's like, what are you talking about? No, you're the fucking first grader that peed his pants in Happy Gilmore or Billy Madison or whatever, and everybody

had to pee their pants too to make it seem cool. All the cool kids pee their pants. It's that level of infantile behavior. But of course, Frank's... And I've also noticed that Frank's his little turn to the camera and talk things have become so like in the first couple seasons i really felt like oh man like this these are some like little tidbits of wisdom like it seems like he really

has some good good tips here like he really knows he's doing more and more it's like no this these aren't sneaky things that you're doing you're just ham-handedly romping around the White House and then going and whispering with Claire like you did something deft. Like, no. No, you're like a bull in a china shop. Everyone started talking to the camera. Like, Claire started talking. I hated when Claire started talking to the camera.

I've always known you were there. I'm just ambivalent to your attention. I hated when Claire broke the fourth wall, too, because it's like, no, this isn't a show about a bunch of people who are going to end up broke the fourth wall too because it's like no this isn't a show about a bunch of people who are going to end up breaking the fourth wall because you don't know how to write exposition

it wasn't just Claire right I thought it was just Claire I think it's just Claire and Frank but I wanted it to just be Frank that should be the thing of the show he's the only one that knows the audience is there well next show is going to be Claire. Next season, you've got Claire as the president.

You've got Frank holding that dead body over her head. And her holding his pardon over his. Next season has the makings of some interesting intrigue. I'm glad we got through the boggy, boring crap that is presidential impeachment proceedings and Senate hearings that this season kind of was part of. I loved this season, by the way.

I thought it was very good. House of Cards is always really strong, and I like it. I mean, the strength of their cast is so good. Robin Wright Penn is in the Justice League now, right? Her name's not. It's Robin Wright because she divorced Sean Penn. She's Claire.

Claire is in Wonder Woman and she's also going to be in the Justice League film. I have two Game of Thrones non-spoilers. You'll just be happy to hear it. The last two episodes are the two longest episodes.

They're 71 and 81 minutes long and that's the whole thing that doesn't ruin the season people are excited the season itself i saw that a similar article uh the season is like all the other seasons have been like nine and a half hours of content this season's like seven and a half so it's like two hours shorter because they have fewer episodes which sucks but. But I don't know. At this point, like every time Game of Thrones comes out, I'm always so excited that it's come out that I like my even it's like watching F is for Family, but way more intense. Do you remember the cute little thing we used to do that like, will the books come out before this season does? Oh, no.

The TV show is getting ahead of the books. Like that's a really weird state of affairs. books don't like i just that's i remember towards the end of season one as it was airing and i was finishing the book series up to what they had and i was like season one it's season one of course the books are gonna be out like he's written five books it's gonna take him seven seasons to catch up. Of course the next one is going to cut. No, no, of course not. This, this fat fuck is doing nothing. He is doing nothing.

Like I bet he has seen all the same TV shows we've seen because he is not, he is not. He's doing a podcast talking about Fargo right now. He's up to date on Supernatural too. Like he's plenty of time. That show is like 20 episodes. Dude, I'm getting there. I fall in line. Yeah. date on Supernatural, too. That show is like 20 episodes. Dude, I'm getting there. I've fallen behind. Yeah, I like Supernatural.

So I've shat on Supernatural many times. It gets better as it goes. Steady pace throughout its run. There's a season around 5 or 6 where it's quite bad. But my complaint has always been that they've got an amazingly cool premise, and that is that these two brothers travel the United States in a classic car fighting monsters because monsters exist, people just don't know it. You know, vampires and werewolves and all that shit. Demons, angels, all that stuff. And I thought that's the coolest premise ever, but their special effects budget seemed to be about the same as mine.

And they just couldn't fucking cut it. Like, the Wendigo episode, season one, episode two, it's just shitty CGI, and they shoot a flare gun at it, and it's like, ah, real bright! They can't see shit! And so many times, if they needed to make a dragon, well, they just put some weird contacts

on a human, and make it so when he touches stuff, it gets hot. It was lame. So bad. But now in Season 12, where I am, the special effects are quite good. It's a very violent show. People get their brains blown out on a weekly basis. Last week, Hitler was brought back from the dead.

His soul had been kept in his pocket watch. And so they take Hitler's soul out of the pocket watch and they put it in. They find an ancestor of Hitler. They take all of her blood out and they put it into this other Nazi who has sustained himself since the 40s with black magic. So now he has the blood of Hitler so he can take in the soul of Hitler. So they put Hitler's soul in this dude. He pops up and he's like, finally! Yeah! And Hitler's

jumping up and down, super excited that he's out of this goddamn pocket watch after an eternity of living in it, or 60, 70 years of living in it. And one of the characters ends up killing Hitler. Spoiler alert. He fucking blows Hitler's brains out and that's it. So for like two or three episodes afterwards,

he's like, killed Hitler. And they're like, really? He's like, yeah. And he like tells him the whole story and brags about it. I like that about the show. That there's not just continuity but like realistic continuity. Like if you kill Hitler you're going to be bragging about it for a while.

That's a boring conversation. Yeah, every time you run into one of your friends who you know will believe you. Because like an average person is not going to believe that you killed Hitler. That's insane. But if you run into one of your friends who you know will believe you because like you know average person they're gonna believe that you killed hitler that's insane but if you run into one of your friends who is like down with demons and angels and shit you tell them you killed hitler they're gonna be like for real god damn you boom fucking hell yeah awesome dean killed hitler you know and uh i don't know i like that show a lot their special effects budget has improved great do you remember remember when they stopped the Titanic from sinking? Yeah. I liked that one.

It changed a bunch of subtle things about history. I think they drove a Mustang. I'm not sure about that. What they were doing is changing the amount of souls in the world. Yeah. They were rolling some extra souls over

because souls are like a power source for the angels and demons. Like, one soul is a hundred sons, I think they said, or something like that, or ten sons worth of power or something. Because at one point, they build a soul bomb to take out God's sister, and they need, like, thousands of souls to, like, compress it. God has a sister. Yeah, yeah, spoiler alert. God's sister, you get to meet God eventually, and God breaks it all down. He starts writing his autobiography. It's like, chapter one, why I don't answer prayers.

Chapter two, why I never intervene. It's like, God damn it. And the guy's reading this like, this is good stuff, God. This is your best work yet. I like the show because it's very as ridiculous as it is, and clearly it's ridiculous by my summarization. There's also a lot of biblical stuff mixed right on in that's entirely accurate. One of the main characters is Castiel.

Like the Nephilim? The Nephilim, of course. But one of the main characters is Castiel. Castiel, I think, is like a 13th century Jewish angel. Maybe he's the angel of Thursdays or something, or he's like the angel of Godspeed, or I don't remember. I'd rather have Godspeed than Thursday.

Heaven bid you the angel of Mondays and no one likes you. Yeah, you're just... You know, you see Lucifer and Michael and a lot of the biblical characters. Then there's the angel of Thursday, you know, in the back. We watched F is for Family, too, right? Are we all done with that?

I want to like that show so much because it's Bill Burr, and I like Bill Burr. But this show just isn't good. It's Bill Burr, and I like Bill Burr, but this show just isn't good. A couple times. Compare it to any other of the cartoon funny shows, even Family Guy, and I'm not the biggest Family Guy.

Family Guy's fucking funny, though. It's just not on the same page, and the storylines are so... I can be halfway into any episode, and I can tell you exactly how it's going to end because it's basically just the same formulaic sitcom But with cartoon people instead and it's yeah It's just not very funny and I've been carrying the water for it wanting to like it for so long And it's just I just don't that much they can't find a good balance between so realistic it hurts and

Fantastical and and you kind of got to be one or the other in most animated series that are fun. I really liked the episode where that baseball player with the dented head goes apeshit and takes out all the black supremacists. I liked that part in particular. I thought it was great, especially when the

crowd... This guy hulks out and just beats up all these black guys who are armed. I think he kills a couple of them or something and uh and the crowd is going wild for him the crowd of reporters the SWAT team all the hostages that were previously taken and then he's like resegregate baseball and they're all like uh like i like that little nuance about his character that the character with the dented head he's great if the whole show were about the antics of frank's workplace it might be better if we didn't have to know about the children at all remove them from the fucking equation if we didn't get to hear about the wife's salad bowl or whatever or salad or salad tossing uh remove that if the whole

show was frank at the airport dealing with chauncey and that fat disgusting boss and that dented head freak and the goings and comings of an airport and those antics and the characters who would be flying in and out all the time. You could have weird goofy characters always showing up. They could have some fun with it. But as it is, they're trying to be a slash between Roseanne and the Simpsons and that doesn't work. Oh, dude, there's a couple things. The relationship

of the two brothers is making me crazy. It's not funny. It's just sad and it's awful parenting. If the two brothers are treating themselves like that, the parents need to intervene and I hate it. It's so awful. Two, the fat, disgusting ex-boss of his is so fat and disgusting.

It's a test just to sit through it. I will change browser tabs i'm watching it on netflix in my browser tab i will just so i don't have to see him but just having to hear him slop down cottage cheese while he talks is so he's frostbitten fingers are they frostbitten there's condoms on every finger it's no no the rat remember he got strapped, so because he got strapped I have Alzheimer's disease. Have you ever been trapped in a Cadillac for 72 hours in the negative

two degree cold? Realize it. Have you ever been, have you ever had to be cut out of a car that hadn't been in an accident? That was a good fucking line. He has to live in his own car for like three days shitting himself he's like i have to drive with the windows down now all of that's funny i will

give you this woody and i and i agree with you in the same way that rick's drool is a bit gross and off-putting and it's like takes you out of it a bit that guy stuffing down the cottage cheese with his gross fingers was just it took me out of times... Rick times 10 to me. Like, I don't like... Yeah. Oh, yeah, I agree. It's just in the same league, you know what I mean? Like, this guy, animation grossing you out. And it's that cottage cheese

and the whole thing. That was gross. I don't care for that. And it's not funny to me either. I thought that character was very funny, but he'd be funny as, like, a 300-pounder instead of a 500-pounder and less gross.

You mentioned Rick. Do you remember... Remember how adorable it was when we thought Rick and Morty was coming out like a year ago. And then it eventually came out on April 1st and we were all so excited. And it was a gift on April fool's day. And I didn't believe it was real until I was like two thirds through the episode.

And, and then nothing it's June now. And there's still no episode two. Like what are they doing with Rick and Morty? My thoughts are there's probably two possibilities. One is that Cartoon Network has a plan. They know

Rick and Morty is their tentpole series for them, and maybe they're trying to get something else to slide in there. But that's me under the presumption that they are all finished with their production work. I think it's more likely that this is taking a really long time for them to get done. I don't know why.

I've heard Justin Roiland say that it's just taking much longer now. They don't know why. It just takes a lot longer to get this job done now for some reason than it did earlier on. So maybe they just don't have it ready. I know it's coming, though, and I'm willing to wait. I wonder if the magic is gone.

If something's going wrong while they're making it. Taylor, you think it could be possible, too? I'm a little worried about it, too, because it's one of those shows where so much of it is... Because it's a cartoon show, and it's not the funniest cartoon show out there as far as getting raucous laughs and stuff. I'll get funnier laughs from South Park. For example, putting something up against South Park is a very difficult thing because they're kind of the titans there.

But so much of what carries them through are the interesting plot twists and the different dimensions and the scientific hullabaloo and all that. And it's interesting and it keeps you engaged. Lots of shiny, weird, nutsack creatures all around and that archetype I really think can only take you so

far it's only a matter of time until they just start going to more ridiculous places and more you know asinine plot twists until it's like is this even the same show anymore like they're just making it ridiculous I hope so much that it stays good but it seems like

these shows where it's like all hinging on one dude roiland i guess his name is mostly that and those kind of shows have a lot of difficulty having longevity most of the time you know sand south park because it's just like those guys are going to get worn out like how much do they really have in the tank about rick being an alcoholic with his uh nephew there's a ton of funny comedy special like i i feel like oftentimes the first comedy special is amazing. It's all your best stuff that you've been building for the last 30 years. And then your second comedy special

is the things you didn't put in the first one. But by the time you get to your third one, it's all the stuff you were able to do in just 12 months, and it's not good anymore. Yeah, it's kind of how you're right. A lot of specialists from stand-up comedians, they're better at first because they're you know they're more not not pure that's the wrong word but you know what i mean but this wasn't their first cartoon you know i

mean to tamp down my expectations because i really really want it to be good as good as the first two seasons were i think i've re-watched them five times each because i think they're great but i just i don't know i'm almost mentally preparing myself like ah there's no way they can you know strike you know i'm calling it lightning will strike calling time it will strike a third time this will be their best season yet it will be more content and better content and i say that confidently and i i believe that because in episode one of season three they kill their entire villain they get rid of the entire they get rid of the entire like uh consortium of ricks they get rid of the entire intergalactic uh power force whatever that was

and you don't do that unless you got somewhere to go you don't do that unless you got somewhere to go and it's got to be big they just replaced their archer does it every year they're not getting back archer is it no archers well arch is a whole different story. Archer's been on a downhill slide for years and this season is trash. I regret purchasing this season and that's rare.

You've really got to fall into a shitty series for me to regret a $20 purchase for a whole season. But it's bad. It's bad. It's not good. He's in a goddamn coma, so nothing that happens matters, and this is the final season. What are you buying it on? Sling or something? Amazon.

Okay. Yeah, I... You can buy it, and then every week as it comes out, you get it? That's how it works? Yeah, as soon as it comes out, it's like, you already own this video. It's usually delayed a day, I think, because that's how I get Better Call. All these shows that we're mentioning right now, that's how I get them. Like Better Call Saul, it already own this video. And it's usually delayed a day, I think, because that's how I get Better Call. All these shows that we're mentioning right now,

that's how I get them. Like Better Call Saul, it's the same thing. I was so irritated with that Memorial Day bye week that all of my favorite shows had that last night it rolled over. I don't always catch it. Because there's a break between when the show will air on, say, FXX and when it will be released onto Amazon for purchase.

Sometimes if it comes out at 8 p.m., then 4 a.m. the next morning you can get it, and that was the case last night. So I was up pretty late. I'm not working on much sleep right now. I've had a lot of caffeine. You're hyped up. Yeah, I'm having a good show.

I wish that our guest could have hung around more because I wanted to get into fitness talk with him. hyped up yeah i'm having a good show i i wish that our guests could have hung around more because i wanted to get into fitness talk with him i was just i think i just had asked him about performance enhancing drugs i was gonna be like oh man all you needed was the cream and the clear you could have been hitting dingers in the fucking wriggly field somewhere like i wanted to ask him more about that and specifically if this guy is actually kind of a medium to level athlete you know like what does he do like like we're all like amateur like google and like lift weights kind of body yeah workout kind of guys but maybe he has some sort

of insight into this maybe he's had personal trainers you know what i mean or like like some guy who knows what the fuck he's doing i've never had any like professional assistance i i google and i watch youtube videos and try to come to a consensus. You know what I'm not getting that Taylor has? Blisters on my hand. Not blisters, calluses. Taylor showed his calluses and it was just a legit manifestation that he has not been

bullshitting this whole time. I'm like, I want that. Yeah, look at that. I don't have that at all, really. Gloves, baby. Put those gloves on and even if it does help you Gloves, baby. Look, put those gloves on. And even if it does help you a little, then just get two more pounds of weight, right? Like, just lift a heavy weight. I think maybe my weights are smooth.

My name's Pussy Mitts. Are your weights smooth? Pussy hands. Are your weights smooth? Like, the handles are pretty smooth. But, yeah, I'm still getting calluses one of them is more ridged than the other and so i'm starting to get a callus here for because i'm using that one on my left hand where it's like grinding up against it but it's like like it bothered me more

at first and then now that they're kind of hard like they've hardened some i don't really mind but i still don't like uh like i'm still trying uh i've got nivia extreme moisture and that is uh i'm convincing myself that it helps it does not i don't think it gets rid of calluses at all maybe i would but to me they're just want my hand to be a little bit soft i don't know i think that my i think women really prefer like if you have some soft ladylike hands um you know like i'm just imagining my dad always had, my dad's hands are so calloused and rough. It's like there's like grit to them,

like skateboard chalk or something. There's like skin that like hangs off and like that's like, remember Spider-Man when they zoom in on his hands? It's a little bit like that in places. And I'm like, I wonder,

I bet mom's pussy was for real handling back in the day, right? She's like, hey, baby, you want to go into the bedroom? She's like, no, no, I'm just going to sit on this bag of peas for another day or two. Had a good time last time, but I need to recover. Would you pass me the aloe vera and the Tylenol? I've talked to women about this before, and I've been like, yeah, they'll see me moisturizing or something with my special hand lotion. I'm like, yeah, yeah.

She's like, oh, I appreciate your moisturization. You keep it up. I'm not mocking you. Keep it up. I always get the same reaction when it comes up. I've never had a woman give me any shit about that because they're always like, yeah, I like it. I just don't see it very often. Yeah, I'm sure that you're right with regards to women's response,

but I feel like a calloused hand is a guy who does shit. I lube up when I get out of the shower. I'm getting rid of this fucking... I'm just going to be done with trying to moisturize it, though, because it's not doing anything. I bet the gloves will do everything. When I get out of the shower, so I lube off in the shower. I've got that back scrubber, so I'm red red and my skin's pretty raw when i get out and then i hit that cocoa butter and i'm like

pump pump pump pump pump rub my hands together and it's like that all right that's the cool and then it's just i'm lubricating and moisturizing every inch of me for like a good solid two three minutes or something when i come out of there i'm like a greased pig like i could run and take like a slide down a slide or something. That's insane. The greased watermelon thing. Greased watermelon! I've only ever

used lotion on my hands and my dick. Look, your skin will feel you'll be, you feel a difference in your skin. If you feel, like my arms and my back and like the back of my neck and everything like I'm moisturizing Three four times a day, and I got my sunscreens and stuff you feel much better, and you won't age as quick Well, maybe I'll try it I won't I won't end up doing that

Because maybe because I like to like I'll burn over myself, and then I'll put on pants or something I'll be like oh, now I'm sticky. Oh, I rub it in. I don't stop rubbing until it's in. Like, I rub it into my skin until it's gone. Like, I try to get as much in as I can. I want my skin to, like, drink up all that moisture. You know how you use wet platinum, and then you wash off, but you're still lubed?

I don't like that. I don't like being slimed. I don't actually, even if, like, I have a cut, I don't like that. I don't like being slimed. I don't actually, even if I have a cut, I don't like Neosporin. Oh, that's silly. Burn creams and stuff, it's like, ah, you know, I'd rather just have a burn than a burn with cream on it.

Really? Yeah, I don't like being creamed. Maybe I've got some sort of weird neuro thing. Yeah, maybe somebody raped you once, and before they did that, you had a little lube or something yeah not the lotion it's all suppressed or like i've had back rubs and stuff from you like your mom beat you with a fucking uh you see extended moisture you know what i've got a bottle of it and a night mask in the bottom of a sock.

I remember childhood memories sprung up. One time I took my mother's lipstick and I wrote something on the mirror with it. And then she came and she's like, did you do this? And I was like, no. And then she asked my brother and he's like, I didn't do it, but he wasn't lying. And no one got in trouble. I don't know what happened. She never pursued that crime. brother and he's like i didn't do it but he wasn't lying and no one got in trouble i think she i don't know what happened she never pursued that crime she knew it was one of us but didn't know

which and just let it go well she was just exhausted from the beatings like i'm just gonna i've got my cardio for the day if i beat that kid one more time my rotator cuff is taking a killing raising woody i'm going to have to go get Tommy John surgery. Yeah, she's getting Tommy John surgery because of her throwing of objects at you. You just come back home one day and then she just rookie of the year

fucking cantaloupe at you. Just boom. She's looking at your ass in so much trouble. I got the same fucking doctor as Greg Maddox fucked My parents are John Maltz that Tommy You were saying I Was a John Smoltz had that Tommy John surgery and I'm a big fan of John Smoltz baseball players a pitcher for the Braves

I was with us when we won the series in 1995 and he was the was the last of that group of Maddox and Glavin and Smoltz that was left after their big team in 95. Those were all big-time Hall of Famers, by the way. And with those three starting Hall of Famer pitchers, we got one World Series. That's pathetic, Bobby Cox, you piece of shit. Did you guys make the playoffs in baseball every 10 years in a single year For like 18 fucking years or something like that I'd throw it all away for one more series

Two series, that would do it But Smoltz, Smoltz was like 40, and he was like 40 Pitching at the same time Clemens was though And I hated Roger Clemens Because he got all of the press for being This old champion, meanwhile he's fucking Doing steroids for sure, because he's not

40. Smoltz is 40 and still just tall and lanky and like, he went from being a starter to a closer. He's like, I can't give you five innings anymore, but I can give you one with everything I've got. And I love that. I respected it so much. It's like, yeah,

he retooled himself. He came back as a different man to still compete. Like, he raised it to the next level. Meanwhile, you got fucking Clemens, who just shot some more shit in his ass and came back as a fucking muscle balloon that throws you off. He sounds like the Sidney Crosby of baseball, just totally unlikable and overrated. Oh, Woody, I was going to point it out. Scroll up a little bit to the um tweets that um that chis

posted right there the carl bush on twitter and it it was he posted that like so soon after you went on your your twitter or your uh crosby rant and it totally falls in line with the kind of shit you're calling out cross before he just takes p. Subban's head and just bounces it off the ice after the play. You can see it. He loops his finger into his helmet near where there's an area so he can grasp the helmet and like, boom, boom, boom, gives him a few taps on the ice. Look at that asshole.

Crosby isn't even a tough guy. You know if you want to get revenge on Crosby, you have to face some actual tough guy? Yeah. He's just a piece of shit pussy who gets away with nonsense like this because he's a star doing things to...

There's nothing likable or respectable about this guy. Look at him. That's very unsportsmanlike, at the very least. I don't like that. It's not tough. If he fought, it would be tough. If he was like, yeah, I'm going to do this, and if you have anything to say about it, meet me at Center Ice. But that's not

what he says. He says, no, no, no. I'm just going to do dirty shit like this to players who are laying on the ground and if you want to fight, I'll run away. And we got a big guy over there. We pay 800 grand a year to beat people up like you who think they want a piece of me.

Because you don't want a piece of me. Because a piece of me turns out to be him. I got nougat on the inside. This is who he is. And I bet the play after this, he'll complain to the ref about being treated unfairly. Yeah, yeah. I can just imagine his bodyguard comes out and just beats the guy up and the guy's eyes hanging out. It doesn't seem fair. It doesn't seem fair.

It doesn't seem fair. I don't like unsportsmanlike conduct. Let me do a couple ad reads here. Get us a... Wonderful. Tell everyone a bit about Pro Flowers. Have you ever forgotten an anniversary? Have you ever forgotten an anniversary, Woody?

But, I mean, there are anniversaries where I haven't done shit. But I did at least say happy anniversary in fact most anniversaries are like that when pray tell is your anniversary if that's not a question you don't want to answer for some reason april 21st i think is my real one but april 1st is when we met that's the one i put more value i like that better yeah yeah that i like that one much better. Especially since it's been this lifelong partnership. I like that one better.

Anyway, have you ever forgotten an anniversary? Need a gift for someone last minute and you have no idea what to do? Well, we're going to make that easy for you. ProFlowers is our go-to stop for high-quality flowers getting you out of your present pickle. Right now, ProFlowers has a special offer just for our listeners here.

You can get $10 off your purchase of $29 or more by going to proflowers.com and entering the offer code PKA at checkout. This still works for best-selling gifts like their 100 Blooms bouquet, a dozen red roses, or even their totally unique plant gifts. Whatever you choose, ProFlowers bouquets are guaranteed to stay fresh

for seven days or your money back. Do yourself a favor and help out our show by supporting ProFlowers. Plus, get $10 off favor and help out our show by supporting ProFlowers. Plus, get $10 off your purchase of $29 or more at ProFlowers. Go to proflowers.com, enter opera code PKA at checkout. Hurry, this deal will not last long. ProFlowers.com, code PKA at checkout. I would suggest the roses.

You can't go wrong with that. I've found in life that any time you try to get a woman like her kind of flowers or something, you're just putting too much on yourself. They don't care. I've never found a woman who's like, oh, tulips. I remember it. No. If you show that you thought about them, went and did a thing, spent money, and here it is now, that's the thing. And ProFlowers is taking all of the hassle out of that out. You get all of the benefit and none of the hassle because it's all about the symbolism of giving her these flowers.

It has nothing to do with her. Like, do you think roses make women wet? No, it's a flower. It's the symbolic gesture that you're doing. You thought about them, you made an effort, and here it is incarnate. ProFlowers does all the work for you. This is the way to go. This is no different

than when you use one of the cooking services that give you meal kits and you take full credit for it with a woman. Do the same thing with ProFlowers. It'll get you out of the hot spot. How much of a deal you got at ProFlowers. You let them assume man, this beautiful bouquet must

have been expensive, you know, because they are, they want, they're going to talk to their friends and they want to believe, like if you, if you gave them the flowers and you said, all right, here's your flowers, they cost me four grand. They're going to be like, $4,000 for flowers. And they're not going to question. They're going to go to fucking work the next day and talk about how awesome their boyfriend or husband is. They just want to know that you tried. And with a deal like this, you're going to miss out if you don't.

You don't want to be the doghouse. You don't want to be dealing with them. ProFlowers.com. They're problem solvers. And now Problem Preventers. If you've ever stayed at a luxury suite or a five-star hotel, you feel like you could sleep forever. You know how good you feel in those sheets. I want to tell you about a great brand, Bowling Branch.

Their sheets turn your bedroom into a luxury suite. You're never going to want to get out of your bed again. What makes these sheets unique is that each one is crafted from 100% organic cotton. That means Bowling Branch sheets not only feel incredible, but also look amazing. You're getting twice the comfort and style at half the price. You'll love these sheets. Try them for 30 nights and see for yourself. If you're not impressed, return them for a full refund.

Anyone who sleeps on Bowling Branch sheets loves them. That's why they have thousands of five-star reviews. The New York Times, Forbes, and the Wall Street Journal all rave about them. And even three U.S. presidents use Bowling Branch sheets. Go to bowlingbranch.com today. You'll get $50 off your first set of sheets, plus free shipping when you use promo code PKA. That's $50 off, plus free shipping,

right now at bullandbranch.com, spelled B-O-L-L-andbranch.com. Promo code PKA, bullandbranch.com, promo code PKA. I have the Bull & Branch sheets, of course, and I actually have a second set on the down low that I need to slide over Woody's way because I know he's got the California King. They are unmolested.

They are still wrapped with their ribbon and their presentation case and everything. I will feel bad about not sending Taylor his gift. Ah! Tomorrow! The presentation you said with the bow and all that, they really do come looking really, really nice.

They come with a carrying bag. They come with a carrying bag if you want to take them with you. Yeah, I've been sleeping on mine for I guess a little while now, and I just washed them for I guess the second time, because you're supposed to wash sheets before you put them on, and I just washed them for, I guess, the second time. You're supposed to wash sheets before you put them on.

And just as soft, just as wonderful. You didn't know that? You didn't know you were supposed to wash sheets? I always thought when you put them on at first, it was like the best they got. Oh, you get cancer from that. That's a huge thing. There's so many carcinogens. Well, that explains a lot.

No, no, no. Like, for real. So the dyes that they specifically use in sheets and pillowcases are full of carcinogens. And there's, like, a huge skull and crossbones on the back. And I'm just lying about all this. I realize I shouldn't bullshit about this. As soon as I remember we're doing a sponsor that's a... They're not...

You can lick them. Don't worry about it. They're clean enough to eat off of. And if you put these on your bed, you'll be doing a lot more of that. Ah. Ah, yeah, I get yeah i get no they really are different like like prior to this we always got our sheets at like target or something they are better than the best sheets you can buy there like i don't even know where else you could get sheets at this level and um i feel like they've they're causing me problems because now my wife's standards are higher than they've ever been before. Yeah, I

agree with that. I really like mine. I love my whole sleeping situation. There is nothing I would want that I don't already have as far as my bed, my blankets, and my whole thing there. I've got those big gel pillows that stay cold

and if I prop them up on my uh my like headboard to like sit up in bed and watch television like i can feel them pushing like when i push into it it pushes me back out um and i've got the uh the modal pillowcases on them so they're the same material as the me undiesies. Incredibly soft. And I've, of course, got the Casper mattress. Taylor's over there keeping cool right now. If you're not watching, maybe you're a guy who doesn't normally watch, maybe tune into this one so you see that Taylor has had an ice pack using it this entire show. He's got an ice pack on his head right now.

It must be cool outside by now. I bet it's like 70. Can you open a window? It's still so just hot in here and muggy. It was a very muggy day today, so just thick in the air. And when there's not... I have my fans on and everything, but it still doesn't feel like it's circulating

enough to get rid of that stagnation. What are you going to do? I'm going to have to get my AC fixed tomorrow. But tonight, it's going to be a really horrible night do you have to get like a supervisor to like come fix that for you or is that your responsibility

no not mine I'll fucking call in and tell them hey I had a horrible evening last night because I was sweating balls all day or all night, rather. And so hopefully they'll fix it quickly, because this sucks. I'm so hot. This bag is now just like semi-cool water, and it still feels so good.

So good. All I did before the show was take this garbage bag that I got from one of the 6,000 garbage bags I bought two years ago from Costco and took my entire ice tray with the full thing, jumped it in here, and here I am. You should have an ice refill by now. You've been on the show for almost four hours. I've been hearing it go

gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah as it makes more, but I'm not foolish. I'm not foolish. I'm not going to go in there and deplete that ice because I'm going to need that ice to put into another garbage bag so I can sleep next to it tonight and just kind of huddle a cold bag of water. Oh, you're going to have a wet bed.

And try and sleep as I then go from this of, oh, a little bit of coolness to two minutes later going, oh, my chest is so cold, my back is so hot. And then, oh, switch. And then, oh, I got the wetness from the fucking condensation on the bag. Is that the pillow you have? Not fun. In the Skype?

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm taking a look. There's an Amazon Choice reversible cool gel memory foam pillow. Is that it? I have that one, but I have three different ones. This one I didn't care for very much. It's smaller than it looks. And I like a king size.

The other two are king sized. One of them was, this one's like $20 or $30. Another one was $80. And then the other one was like $45 or something like that. And they're all slightly different compositions. I'm going to guess $80 won the best? Yeah. Yeah, $80 wins the best. It's rare is the best you know it's rare that you find

that cheaper and better it's the only pillow you need like i have a lot of pillows i'm traditionally have it's like all right get three under my head i'll hug one one's gonna go like between my knees and like maybe one like scrunched up against my back so i'm just enveloped in pillow right and this one it's like god it, it's a king-sized pillow, so it's like the size of a goat. Like, I hug this thing and put my head on it, and it, like, extends down, and my whole body's on it, and it's got that cooling effect,

which I really like. My entire life in bed has been spent flipping a pillow over to get to the cool side for those precious three seconds. It feels wonderful. But now I've got a pillow that, like, more like, it's more like a minute of cool time, and then you it and then when that's gone i got two more backup pillows it's uh i'm not sure that's worth the i i don't know i uh it's not just the cooling effect it's

pillows it's very have you considered taking the cold cold garbage bag approach instead of spending all this money eatlessly on pillows? And air conditioning? You could just wrap a Costco Hefty around your desk. That would be a good... That would be a really good YouTube video if you just pretend... If you're like, are you tired of spending thousands of dollars every year

on air conditioning? Well, we have the solution for you. And then like a star wipe. And you're like dumping the fucking i like step one like and then and then of course you like tie the thing in a knot like with the plastic and and you're wearing you just wear it under your clothes all day show like a cold sex patented revolutionary technology combines the costco bag with the with ice from your freezer that two-dimensional cartoon diagram of a human being from all those Imodium diarrhea commercials,

and it just shows it red but turning blue with the cooling effect. I could go for it right now. It's been like 76, like highs of 76. And when that happens, like the house is muggy and uncomfortable, but the AC is not kicking on. So you can either lower the AC to like 72, or it makes me feel like I'm being wasteful, or deal with it. Then either option

seems great. Although probably both seem great to Taylor right now. Yeah. I turn that bitch on down to seven. Cold belly right now. That's like, I'm finding myself actually thinking about it. Have you ever do that where you'll drink a tea or something

that will make you like a chamomile tea that's trying to make you tired? And you'll be like, yeah, I think I do feel it making me tired. I'm going to get a great night's sleep. You're talking yourself into it. As I've been doing this this whole time, I've had it on my back most of the time, so I'm not holding it. But as I put it up here, I'm like, yeah, this is hyper-cooling all of my neck blood to make sure i'll be cool for as long as possible

and i go like this and i go oh no no i'm hot again it didn't work when i so you guys know how our radiator works right basically fluid goes past the motor it goes out to the radiator then air blows through it it cools it off and then it goes back to the motor. I have that theory with my leg. Like, if I'm hot in bed, I just put my leg out like a radiator. So all the blood pumps through, cools off, and then it comes back. You're not wrong at all. You're 100% accurate with that. That's why those rabbits have those big fucking ears, like those desert foxes and stuff.

They're pumping their blood up into those ears and radiating the heat out. Like, that's totally a thing. I mean, you know. They talk about you lose 80% of your heat from the top of your head. First of all, bullshit. How are you calculating percentages of heat loss? Show me the equation. If you're walking around any time in winter and everybody

just has a fountain of steam coming onto the top of their head. It would just be erupting. It would be erupting out of your head with this boiling steam. You could wear a bikini bottom Like you know a European swimsuit And a hat and be fine in the winter Because really you know

You're only losing 20% Yeah if you think about the opposite I've become accustomed to losing 80 with no hat and keeping the 20 warm I could flip that I'm as warm as I am And I'm not wearing anything. This is silly fucking hat.

Obviously bullshit. They just lie to you to get you to wear a hat. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, too. Bullshit. Propaganda. It's big hat propaganda. It's big hat. It's big cigarro.

That's what it is. You know what it is? It's fucking North Face and Patagonia and all these crooks out there masquerading around saying we make high quality camping outdoor gear. Oh, we know what you're up to. You're trying to sell hats.

I'm a Patagonia fanboy. Their shit is so Is that jacket Patagonia? This is Armani, but Patagonia is like the top tier of fucking ski gear, if you ask me from someone who doesn't fucking ski at all but someone who's been in the cold a few times right and I've shopped for it

and asked people who I thought knew I've got these Patagonia like undershirt that's this micro thin like one of those Under Armour things but there's like there's literally metal woven into it like when you turn it inside out it's a metal shirt like it's a metal shirt.

It's like foil. I'm sweating wearing just that one layer and it's 40 degrees out. It's like, oh, this was too much. This was just too much. From the makers of Cold Sack come tinfoil clothes. That sounds like something I want to try for the winter i'm gonna start a fucking etsy store and

sell garbage bags full i want to say it was like a hundred dollar fucking shirt it was outrageous but i was like the guy was just swearing by he's like you can wear layer upon layer upon layer of cheap hayne shirts or you can wear one of these one more a fleece and an outer and you're fine and like sub-zero temperatures i don't know anything about sub-zero temperatures like i do so i was like all right swipe and uh and so but i but i'm always taking very good care of all that expensive winter gear because i don't use it often a and b i don't want to fucking buy it again you know it's like what do you say woody buy it nice buy it twice so like i've got some socks that cost an ungodly amount of money but like you put those fucking uh carhartt thermal boot socks

on size 15 they're like eight dollars per sock or something but they're the best socks i've ever put on in my life like i i i think i could wear just the sock and wear them like moccasins in a normal day so if you go out in the into the you know skiing or something like my feet never get cold I think I could wear just the sock and wear them like moccasins in a normal day. So if you go out into the skiing or something, my feet never get cold. I don't know how we've transitioned to fucking boring ski wear talk and nobody's interrupted me yet. I don't know how that's happened. I typically don't interrupt at all. I'm talking about my goddamn sock and no one has stepped in yet with anything.

Not even a blurb. All right, let's go to... Did we not do everything? I'm sorry, what? Did we do everything with what? Oh, I thought you were about to do an ad read, and I thought we were finished. Oh, yeah, we're all straight with that. Yeah, all done, baby.

Yeah, Patagonia's not sponsoring, but they should. Did you see that police beating in Jersey? Is there a video? It's awesome. There is. I saw it on Phil DeFranco's channel, who, by the way, is making great videos right now.

But this is what happens. This guy, by all accounts, bad dude, right? Bad dude. He's running from the police and I think he hit some other people or shot some other people. So, you know,

like fully established guy we don't like. He's driving and the police are chasing him he hits a telephone pole and in like at the same time he hits a telephone pole he hits another guy i'm a little confused on exactly how the accident goes down and uh there's a fire a bad one you know picture it 20 feet tall guy comes out of the car and he's on fire and he's hurt like a movie he gets out while burning rolls around puts himself out the police come up to this guy they kick him in the face and then they all get together and start curb stomping him as a group. But there's a twist.

It's not the bad guy. It's the guy that the bad guy hit at the end. The innocent bystander, the police beat the fuck out of him. He's still in the hospital clinging to his wife. Cha-ching! He might not live. All of his family are like dancing. They're like, we're in the money.

We're in the money. It's as bad as it gets. The police beat the fuck out of the wrong guy. Wow, what? Honey, call Cousin Leibowitz. I got a job for him. Like, it's game over for that county. It happened in Jersey.

And to their credit, the police are like, we're identifying them now. We're going to press charges. They're going to get fired, et cetera. We're just figuring out who did it, and they're done for but uh yeah that's the kind of thing you don't even like hearing about like not that like you like hearing about most brutal things cops do but it's like oh it wasn't even the guy like i thought that but you were gonna say but he was a child rapist i was gonna be like all right well if he was raping kids I don't have any empathy or like but it turned out

the beating prevented him from going into shock and he lived the adrenaline surge he survived the fight they beat the MS right I love those types of injuries when someone has like not MS of course because that's a degenerative brain disorder. But if somebody's got like, I don't know, like some issue their whole life and then they get hit in the head or shot in the head or something like that and it fixes it.

Like it destroys that part of the brain that was causing the whole problem. Like if they had headaches their whole life or they were blind in an eye and the mule kicks them now they can see or something like that. It's always fascinating. I like it when they get really really weird injuries like yeah yeah you know he he got hit in the head it was terrible he was in a coma for three days and now he can't smell or now he hates chocolate and you're like huh is that even that bad i don't know what if like what if they made something else up like they beat someone badly who and he was like you've you made me a racist you hit something you hit something in my head and now every time i see a a jewish fella i think well i don't care for that you know and i used to have no problem with these

folks and you know i feel the the black bigotry creeping in as well i think it's something you did to my head you This is irreparable. Ever since I got beat down by Goldstein, now I'm racist. The Jewish hammer. The Hebrew hammer. Hebrew hammer. God damn it. Oh, Hebrew hammer would have been better.

The alliteration. You missed it. There was a movie called The Hebrew Hammer, and it's got mr numbers playing the hebrew hammer the same character who plays the deaf guy in fargo 3's brother hey i have a topic so do you guys remember that teenage girl who encouraged her boyfriend to kill himself and he did yeah she's in trouble that's yeah what ended up panning out that they're gonna kill her oh they hired someone to bully her they cut her wrist she's in trial right now it's not over this story's from like

two days ago so unless it ended very recently um i have like five things to know uh he died of carbon monoxide poisoning in his truck so that's how he killed himself um at one, he got out of his truck And texted her And she was like Go back, finish the job She said You always say you're going to do it, but you never do I just want to make sure tonight is the real thing You just have to do it

It's painless and it's quick This is what she told him Get back in Bitch, is he trouble now? Think of the kind of at the very least she's a sociopath who has no understanding of you or i don't know because she is she even a sociopath or she's just evil because she's playing it for well i guess she could be a sociopath playing it for emotional points because she knows she was the one who after this happened was like playing it up like, oh, I'm so distraught. My life's over. My boy, he's gone.

Or my boyfriend, whatever. That level of callousness and shittiness at that age, that should just be an end of, do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Do not go to college. Do not dupe somebody into marrying you. Can I play the devil's advocate? I'm excited to see where you go. Yeah, yeah. So, first of all,

just looking at this on the face of what we're all hearing here, she sounds like a terrible person. I agree. But what we don't have any facts or any details about, or at least I don't, is like, what was the nature of their relationship? Was this a boyfriend and girlfriend? Or was, like like here's the

scenario which i would think that this was fine right if this guy was annoying this girl who wanted nothing to do with him for a long period of time and like doing that thing like maybe you've seen on reddit where like you'll have this one-sided conversation where the guy's like what's wrong why won't you talk to me and it like devolves on when this one-sided conversation devolves into him being like well fuck you fucking whore i don't want you anyway you nasty whore like if that's the kind of treatment that this girl was getting from that guy if he was this guy that she wasn't interested in who was always coming after and he's always saying like i love you so much i'll kill myself if i don't have you i'd kill myself and she's just like bro fucking

do it i don't know that's not that's not what i love it because it matters so um apparently this guy had suicidal tendencies before they started dating they were real boyfriend girlfriend like that much isn't in question and story over so no i mean i mean going well that's all it takes for me to be like all right well she's a bitch then so like so he had suicidal tendencies uh they were a real couple they you know you know, whatever. They were dating. There were times when he suggested that they kill themselves as a pair, you know, which she wasn't really into. But he was like, yeah, we should die together, et cetera. This sort of Romeo Juliet thing.

And, you know, but then, you know, he sort of excluded her from his plans of killing himself and just went solo. He would repeatedly sort of do these like cries for attention, I guess, you know, although he went through with it. So he was the real deal, but you know, he,

he would repeatedly like tonight's the night I'm going to kill myself, whatever, and then not finish it. And then she eventually was like, do it, just do it. You know, it's painless.

It's quick. It's what have you. And, um, the, the article ends like this. It's not very long. I'll read it.

Um, on Monday, Carter waved her right to a jury trial and placed her fate in the hands of a judge prosecutors will have to prove that carter caused roy to kill himself essentially caused his death i hope she's in assures are going to a little more defense lawyers are going to argue that he had suicide tendencies predating their relationship they're going to emphasize that he was alone in his car, and ultimately it was his decision. There may be an issue to the extent to which she was aware of the risk. She knew he was suicidal, but did she know that he was going to go through with it? So I feel like that presents both sides of the argument pretty well. I'm on her side.

Really? And legally, I'm on her side. No punishment. Zero, nil, nothing. She hasn't broken a law. She's done something terribly morally wrong in the nature of cheating on your wife with her sister. But we don't lock people up for that.

We just don't. The guy was carbon monoxide poisoning himself. He decided not to go through with it. He got out. She texted him, said, you never go through with it. Just it it's painless and quick he follows her instructions he just does it Taylor go kill yourself nah well like send me like texts about it but you know when you get a guy with a gun to his temple and you say, pull it, or a guy standing on a ledge and you say, jump, are you at all? Imagine if I actually did it right there, Kyle.

This, that clip, if I just pulled a gun out and blew my head off, like, this clip would go, it would be more viral than anything. Big-headed, because I have a giant head, too, so there'd be more gore than anyone before. And so it would be like, large-headed man blows head. I'll tell you to kill yourself! Ha ha ha! Or I'll use my powers even more! Yeah, she's a piece of shit.

She had no powers. She is not culpable. If she had powers, if she was like, there's an X-Files episode called The Pusher or Pusher, and that's what he did. He had this incredible power of suggestion. He'd be like, he'd be like, set yourself on fire. And you'd be like, nah.

Like, no, no, really, though. Want to do this. And they couldn't resist this guy. He had this power over them, this supernatural thing. That ain't what we're talking about, though. And, look, I can tell you to do whatever I want. I can tell you to

go to hell, tell you to fuck yourself, tell you to kill yourself. You fuck yourself, I didn't rape you, you kill yourself, I didn't kill you, I'm not involved with either act. I can say what I want. I hate it when, like, even people we hate, this morally piece of shit, bankrupt cunt, she shouldn't be punished any more than that racist, like, even people we hate, this morally piece-of-shit bankrupt cunt,

she shouldn't be punished any more than that racist old white cuck of a fucker that said that racist shit that owned that basketball team should have lost his basketball team. You should be able to say some racist, awful, low-grade dirty shit if you want to. We can look down on it. We can see it as morally reprehensible.

We can see it as wrong, bad, dishonest, something we don't like. We can make efforts to not include those people in our own personal lives. We can not do business with them. But what we can't do is find them guilty of some made-up crime and suddenly start saying, if you suggested he killed himself

and he did it, so you're 100% culpable. No, you're not. You're a cunt. I agree with that. Like you're, you're right. And this is one of those things where like, I hear what you're saying and I think you're right.

You're correct in what you're saying, but emotionally when you first see it, you want her to be punished, obviously, but like it does set, it would set a dangerous precedent. Do you have a duty to now prevent people from killing themselves? And you're culpable for that. If, if someone says I'm going to kill myself and you don't, you know, go to the prevent people from killing themselves and you're culpable for that if if

someone says i'm gonna kill myself and you don't you know go to the correct extent to prevent it like who who knows where that would lead but like at the end of the day yeah she didn't actually do anything to kill him he killed himself he did it all but she was she was just a horrible horrible cunt who shouldn't be around like who shouldn't exist just an evil like how just just fucking evil just an evil person and yeah but you can't be punishing someone saying to me i i man i i see all the issues that you guys see right yeah she had a lot of influence on this guy right you know here he is he's fragile this is his girlfriend she's in tremendous position of influence based on you know who she is to him you know i've been a fragile guy before i didn't have a girlfriend at the time but

you know i can imagine if i had one that was pushing me that way maybe i'd have acted like him and and she was the difference between him living and dying right yeah he was walking out of the truck not killing himself and she said get back in you're all talk so he got back in and died and but i i don't know what the punishment should be for that i i feel like there should be some yeah i feel like there should be but it's like what what can they really do you told someone to kill themselves and so now you're culpable in their death it's like you can't really do that like because they did kill themselves and when you start're culpable in their death it's like you can't really do that like because they did kill themselves and when you start qualifying it

and you can't qualify it either you can't you can't be like I mean we can it's important to like know these facts but you can't qualify it with well he was in a sensitive position and this was his girlfriend it's like well then again where do we draw the line with like what does our relationship have to be how

fickle must our relationship between one another be before i can tell you to go kill yourself you know what i mean like where do we draw that line you can't you can't so so the charge is involuntary manslaughter involuntary manslaughter so manslaughter i think is you kill someone, but it wasn't planned out. Like maybe you got into a fight and all you meant to do is hit him, but you actually killed him. I think that's what manslaughter is. Involuntary manslaughter, I guess, is – how is that different than manslaughter? That'd be like you run a kid over, right? Manslaughter includes recklessness, I believe.

So if you were driving like 20 miles over the speed limit and you ran a red light and you ran into a car and you killed someone, that would be manslaughter. But if it's what did you say? Unintentional manslaughter? Involuntary. Involuntary manslaughter. I think, I don't know. I don't even, because this isn't manslaughter.

Like, she didn't kill him. She didn't enact anything on this guy. No, you can't kill somebody. I have it. Involuntary manslaughter occurs when the agent has no intentions of committing murder, but caused the death of another through recklessness or criminal negligence. The crime of involuntary manslaughter can be subdivided into main categories, constructive and gross negligence manslaughter. See, that seems risky if you say if you extend

and say oh that recklessness now includes text messages it's not recklessness of i'm driving my motorcycle too fast not recklessness of i didn't check before i went to the shooting range and shot someone next to me or something like it's reckless as in oh you you recklessly sent that text message like as much as we hate this horrible bitch, this is... Criminal recklessness, I guess, implies a pretty extreme level of recklessness. Sounds fun, doesn't it? I'm criminally reckless! That's how I fly my peremote.

If anything, it wasn't manslaughter because she wanted him to die. It was no accident. This was a talked-about thing. It wasn't involuntary. That'd be a funny defense. If her defense attorney was like, Your Honor, she wanted him to kill herself.

There was nothing unintentional. Kill himself. There was nothing unintentional about this. It's clearly not unintentional. Yeah, I hope she doesn't get punished because of the precedent it would set. What if you're an influencer or whatever the fuck,

some guy with with eight million people on twitter or something and you and you tell a fan to go kill himself and he kills himself now you're in trouble just short well you're yes yeah right like mr gamertag had quite the sway on bobby um he'd been watching mr gamertag for years uh he bobby he was he was just a fan and mr gamertag told him. Bobby, he was just a fan. And when Mr. Gamertag told him to go fuck himself, well, he took it to heart, and he fucked himself to death.

To death. I hear you. Yes, you're up for rape. That's a pretty... Yeah. Again. On one hand, that's the slippery slope, and you shouldn't pay too much attention to that.

On the other hand, you know, slippery slope matters. There is a precedent here. You know, it's not a crazy thought process. I just feel like she should get something i really think that she's i feel like she's terrible responsibility on his death yeah i i think that she is in some way probably responsible i can't say beyond the shadow of a doubt though because this is a suicidal guy who was getting in and out of smoke-filled cars so chances are he was eventually going to do it chances and he may have done it that night

can't say 100 sure without without shadow of a doubt that he that she is that he wouldn't have done it without her input it just seems that that's the case i i hate this person uh and initially i had the same reaction as I did with flag burning when that came up a while back. I was like, yeah, it should be against the law. Then I started thinking more and more and I'm like, no, it can't be canon. It really can't be. In the same right, I think you should be able to tell people to kill

themselves. If you want to, you tell them how to fucking do it. Tell them to do whatever you want. You can say whatever you want. I like that. I like being able to say whatever you want. You can say whatever you want. I like that. I like being able to say whatever you want, no matter how awful it is or if no one but you thinks the thing that you think. Because so often that's an important quality to have. You know, there's a lot of groupthink mentality in society.

And it's important that people are able to step outside of that and say what they want. Yeah, I just think extending that say what you want. There needs to be and and say what they want yeah i i just think extending that say what you there needs to be limits on say what you want you know the the classic ah this one fire on a crowded theater you know like that's not free speech when you shout fire in a crowded theater i don't think it's free speech is when you tell a suicidal man who's in a truck smoke-filled truck to get back in you know, and finish it. I do not draw that parallel. I don't like either thing, the fire thing. You're creating

this danger, you're creating a dangerous situation, right? You're sending a group into a panic in which people get trampled and injured and stuff. It's a real public safety hazard and it's not that you had sway over these people. You're not like their leader and you're like, fire! And that's why they believe you. It's just that like had sway over these people you're not like their leader and you're like fire and that's why they believe you it's just that like human beings when you hear fire

screamed like we react whereas these people knew each other and she's like fucking kill yourself bro you always say you're gonna kill yourself you're annoying me constantly with your suicide talk i'm not gonna kill myself but if that's your thing then fucking do it it's not gonna hurt and look suicide's not the worst thing like like i mean i go back to that like like it seems like it was not as bad as homicide but it's pretty bad no no no look on a moral everybody's talking the same thing not everybody but everybody is going to enjoy this existence in this life and for some people it's going to be your way out i don't recommend i have a new topic persevere i want to talk more about suicide let me i think you should always

persevere and try to like make the world you live in one that you'll be happy to live in for some people that's not gonna happen i don't advocate suicide but i do understand it um and uh and i don't blame this lady for that guy's suicide, uh, at least on a legal level. New topic. Uh, this one to me is actually a pro Trump article. So what's happening is people are getting off of food stamps. Illegal immigrants are getting off of food stamps because they're afraid they're going to get deported.

And the article to me kind of reads like oh isn't it a shame you know these like just so you know uh it like food stamps aren't actually tied to deportations you don't have to be doing this but they're like yeah i know technically but i'm worried that i'm getting on a list i'm an illegal immigrant who's getting food stamps and uh i'm just going to stop taking food stamps because i'm afraid i'll get deported and i think good good good yeah good it should be no fucking handouts for you it'll stay on them if you want it should be like no no you're not a member of this country you came here legally and now you're siphoning resources from the general population that's not

fair yeah and it's that sort of extreme leftism that makes it hard to get on board with the Democrats, right? Because they're literally talking about the exact thing that a lot of us hate. It's this sort of handout society for anyone and everyone with their hands open. And I'm not a nationalist per se, but Jesus, at some point we do have to take care of our own. The people who are paying into the system Should reap the benefits of that system And then if there's a surplus afterwards Then good, we'll be all the more prepared To help the weak and the impoverished

But let's look out for ourselves Make ourselves as strong as we can And then we'll just be more charitable Than we ever could have been before The United States is insanely charitable. They give higher percentages of their income than any other western nation. By far. People here are

very charitable, for the most part. This is not charity, though. This is like, you came here, you committed a felony by coming here illegally, and then you set up into our system and are now taking from it and not giving into it and that's not the way countries work you know like you can't if i went into sweden or germany or any

other country and started getting benefits when i was there illegally and they found out they would have every right in the world to say get the fuck out of here no you can't be here you're not allowed to be here that's not how countries work this isn't you know three thousand years ago before borders were drawn like you know you can't do that you got to leave sweden you're not here legally like what do you feel like a leech if you move to france and immediately sign up for some fucking bullshit program that like because you suddenly fit into some category because you're a single man uh newly in this country and suddenly you qualify for benefits what do you just feel like a fucking cockroach i feel like i have to pay it back like like you know what sweden invest in me i get it

i just got here you're helping me get on my feet but trust me i'm gonna be an awesome taxpayer you know someday like with that mindset i can understand it and what they should say is come back when you are come back when you are well, I guess that was the invest in me part. Come back legally. I'm not going to get on my feet without being here. So I'll tell you what, two years of food stamps, then I'm going to pay you more than you ever paid me. That would be great if you as an engineer are being brought into Sweden

and they're like, yeah, we really want Mr. Game Attack. He's an engineer, or however they sound. I hate those people. And those are the same people who will, like, talk down to us about, like, racial issues when they live in a vanilla country with, like, no – only white people. Kyle, you back-up us Americans. You don't even know what you're talking about. I met three black people last year, all of them from the United States, and they tell me horror stories of how they are treated. I've never met a black person here because we don't allow that.

But if you ask any one of the three million white people who live in our tiny little country, they will tell you that you are all racist. It's like, yeah, okay, you have no idea what the fuck you're talking, same thing with Canada, where Canada's, like, you know, talking shit about stuff, like, oh, you guys down there with your racism and your shit, you know, it's like you, I don't know, I'm so tired of how

much America gets shit on by so many members of other countries, and if you say anything about, you know, and obviously like Kyle making fun of Ireland, it's not really true. No, yeah, I love Ireland. I like the accent, the food, the whole thing. Yeah, you don't actually hate Sweden.

Like you just be giving shit. Because I feel like no one gives America shit like America does, right? Like when Ferguson goes down, we don't bury that. We're like, America has a problem that we need to address. There's a thing that's wrong here. Regardless of what you think the solution is or whatever, other countries are like, no, we're awesome.

Don't pay attention to that over there. We don't have any troubles. Really? You got suicide bombers? Do you have any proof of the 1,200 people who were raped by migrants? Other than all the pictures? Hmm? Other than all the pictures that we outlawed because we don't keep track of who

what race of the rapist is because the statistics are a bit bigoted in that way but you know in places in Europe they have like Milo will talk about the huge influence of the Muslim culture of the Muslim culture on what was there before but the countries themselves just kind of bury that india india is one that i know really well

so i talk about them a lot they have this like huge portion of their population that's just untouchable and completely broken lives in filth and they're yeah they're hardly even living a human lifestyle yeah and uh but they don't talk about that. They look the other way when the plane flies in over that over that stuff. But America, if we have problems, you know, we can put it on TV and make it a national debate. And, you know, so I like that about America. I feel like it gets some problems solved when you put them on TV. Yeah. There's this old i think it was maybe post world war i don't remember when it was there's this i found it i fucking found it let me play a second of this to make sure i found it this is this is really good it's good

yeah so the way i remember it this guy was a can Canadian radio guy. And this is him on America. This is him talking about America. And it's very good. It's five minutes, but this is a strong way to close this show. This is a strong way to close out. Especially if you're American out there, listen to this. I'm queued up at zero. Me too.

Three, two, one, play. Do you guys have audio in the beginning? No. Okay. It's coming. The United States dollar took another pounding on German, French, and British exchanges this morning, The United States dollar took another pounding on German, French, and British exchanges this morning, hitting the lowest point ever known in West Germany. It has declined there by 41% since 1971, and this Canadian thinks it's time to speak up for the Americans as the most generous and possibly the least appreciated people in all the world. As long as 60 years ago, when I first started to read newspapers,

I read of floods on the Yellow River and the Yangtze. Well, who rushed in with men and money to help? The Americans did, that's who. They have helped control floods on the Nile, the Amazon, the Ganges, and the Niger. Today, the rich bottomland of the Mississippi is underwater, and no foreign land has sent a dollar to help. Germany, Japan, and to a lesser extent Britain and Italy were lifted out of the debris of war by the Americans who poured in billions of dollars and forgave other billions in debts. None of those countries is today paying even the interest on its remaining debts to the United States.

When the franc was in danger of collapsing in 1956, it was the Americans who propped it up. And their reward was to be insulted and swindled on the streets of Paris. And I was there. I saw that. When distant cities are hit by an earthquake, it's the United States that hurries in to help. Managua, Nicaragua

is one of the most recent examples. So far this spring, 59 American communities have been flattened by tornadoes. Nobody has helped. The Marshall Plan, the Truman Policy, all pumped billions upon billions of dollars into discouraged countries. And now newspapers in those countries are writing about the decadent, war-mongering Americans. Now, I'd like to see just one of those countries that is gloating over the erosion of the United States dollar build its own airplanes. Come on now, you, let's hear it. Does any country in the world have a plane to equal a Boeing jumbo jet,

the Lockheed TriStar, or the Douglas 10? If so, why don't they fly them? Why do all international lines except Russia fly American planes? Why does no other land on Earth even consider putting a man or a woman on the moon? You talk about Japanese technocracy and you get radios. You talk about German technocracy and you get automobiles. You talk about American technocracy and you find men on the moon, not once but several times and safely home again.

You talk about scandals and the Americans put theirs right in the store window for everybody to look at. Even the draft dodgers are not pursued and hounded. They're right here on our streets in Toronto. Most of them, unless they're breaking Canadian laws, are getting American dollars from Ma and Pa at home to spend up here. When the Americans get out of this bind, as they will, who could blame them if they said to hell with the rest of the world? Let somebody else buy the bonds. Let somebody else build or repair foreign dams or design foreign buildings that won't shake apart in earthquakes. When the railways of France and Germany and India were breaking down through age, it was the Americans who rebuilt them. When the Pennsylvania Railroad and the New York Central went broke,

nobody loaned them an old caboose. Both of them are still broke. I can name to you 5,000 times when the Americans raced to the help of other people in trouble. Can you name to me even one time when someone else raced to the Americans in trouble? I don't think there was outside help even during the San Francisco earthquake. Our neighbors have faced it alone, and I'm one Canadian who is damn tired of hearing them kicked around. They'll come out

of this thing with their flag high, and when they do, they're entitled to thumb their noses at the lands that are gloating over their present troubles. I hope Canada is not one of these. But there are many smug, self-righteous Canadians. And finally, the American Red Cross was told at its 48th annual meeting in New Orleans this morning that it was broke. This year's disaster, with the year less than half over, has taken it all, and nobody, but nobody,

has helped. I thought that was good, and I thought that the part about us putting our scandals in the storefront window was relevant after what you had said. Yeah, that was exactly right. I really liked that. thought that the part about us putting our scandals in the storefront window was relevant after what you had said. I really like that.

That's really powerful. I like that a lot. I think that's from the early 80s or something. It looks like it was in 2003. Yeah, the video is. But the audio of the Canadian gentleman, I think it's a bit older. Yeah, because he's referencing East Germany and such.

Oh, it was from 1973. Yeah, quite old. But still relevant today. There you go. Yeah, it's very interesting. Before we go, you guys need to remember, we're going to have Jonas on again, because obviously the tech stuff was very difficult this time,

and he had to drop out. YouTube, JonasTV. It's Y-O-N-A-S. That's how you spell it. JonasTV on YouTube. You can check him out. iTunes, Spotify, Amazon, Google Play, all these places as well if you want to check him out. So I highly recommend that.

I'm excited to have him on again. It sucked. We weren't able to hear him. Yeah, we didn't get to much of his stuff, but if you go to his website there, I thought his music was pretty good. He seemed like a real chill guy. I liked his colored people time joke.

I wanted to make it from the start, but you never know if someone's going to get really offended. I was very against that. I was very saved when Wolf liked my no dad joke. Oh, bravo. Yeah, that was a great joke. That's your top five Woody jokes of all time.

I love that. That was excellent. Well, check out our sponsors. There's links down in the description below. There's Smart Mount, Bowling Branch, Movement Watches, Nature Box, and Pro Flowers. Very good. PKA, episode 338.

Bravo.