Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #339

Episode Date: June 23, 2017

This week on PKA, it's a laid back -no guest- episode and they talk about the confirmed Mayweather vs McGregor fight, how a man got stuck inside of a pig when doing nefarious things on someone elses PROPERTAY! And the unfortunate shooting in Alexandria with the GOP congressional baseball team.

Yeah, my timer's not... Oh, there it is. It just began. The Painkiller Rating, episode 339. Kyle? Yeah, a couple sponsors tonight. Lyft, Squarespace, Casper Mattresses, MeUndies, and Power Rangers. From director Dean Israelite, get ready to go-go Power Rangers

with the cool new action blockbuster fans have been waiting for. Saban's Power Rangers on Blu-ray and digital HD, featuring exclusive new bonus features. It's Morphin time! Sabin's Power Rangers is rated PG-13 and now available on iTunes, so go check it out. Awesome. Check it out? I loved Power Rangers when I was a kid. Yeah, didn't I? I was about

to say, did you, Woody? And I was like, oh, they hadn't been invented. Yeah, I loved Power Rangers when I was 30. But Kyle, they were around for you, right? Oh right i was perfectly timed to be like an absolutely huge power rangers fan i was in first grade the mighty morphin power rangers debuted so like i'm in the in the right in the beginning of the days when i've realized i'm old enough at like six to know that there are sat Saturday morning cartoons and maybe kids today are like don't remember but Saturday morning it was just an all-day

cartoon fest of like the best cartoons like your favorites and it was one after another after another and they were on multiple channels so if you didn't like like hey Arnold you could flip over to Fox and there was Power Rangers or beetle Borg's or whatever you were into and yeah that Power Rangers or Beetle Borgs or whatever you were into. And yeah, that Power Rangers came out and there was Zed or Zordon. What was it? Zordon and fucking Rita Repulsa. And then Zed shows up and like, it was super racist. You know, the Asian Power Rangers is yellow.

Black Power Rangers, black. Red Power Ranger was, was he Native American? It's possible. Really? Yeah, possible. Really? Yeah, yeah. I remember the yellow one being Asian. But other than that, I don't... It's because when you're watching it at the time,

all you're thinking about are the actual colors. As a six-year-old, you're just like, oh, yellow, boo! My brother got a yellow costume for Power Rangers for one year of Halloween, because I guess that's all they had at the fucking store and I gave him shit the entire evening you know that's the girl one you're not even in a real Power Ranger it's like you didn't you didn't even say or consider like hey you're wearing the one the Asian chick

wears you know you're weak like her now but see with the Ninja Turtles like there's definitely a personality for each one but with the Power Rangers there was just a cultural identity. The girl, the hot chick, was pink, of course. And the cool Power Ranger, for a long time, I guess, it was the green one. It had to be Jason, because Jason shows up in the end of season one. Season two is like a villain. He's influenced by some sort of evil.

I can't believe how much you know about this. He'd show up and play his fucking flute. He had a ponytail, and that was fucking like early 90s. Ponytails were in. Did you ever have one? I had a rat tail. I had a rat tail. I had a rat tail in fifth grade. And my mother let me

have it. My father did not. He hated it. He was very mad with my mother. He was very angry with me and we were going to go out to dinner that night and i'm not sure we did i don't think he wanted to be seen in public with me and my rat tail which at the time it was like dad just doesn't get how cool rat tails are now i see his point you should you should grow one now and spite him to show up next time he's around just be flaunting it just licking and stuff but no no jason would show up fucking play his flute and out of the water would come his fucking like

fucking monster dragon zord or whatever and it was like super hardcore and the thing was that it's always like oh you haven't even seen my final form yet because at first they show up and they just kick ass with their fists. And then each of them brings out their own animal, like vehicle to bring to the fray. So like, you know, yours might be a,

they all look different, but then if individually they couldn't cut it, they combined and they all became one. And that was when like shit hit the fan because that's when the music kicked in. It was like, go, go power Rangers. You might need more power. And it was when shit hit the fan. Because that's when the music kicked in. It was like, go, go, Power Rangers! You mighty morphin' power!

And it was like a montage of them combining. And they would all be... And did you notice the monster they were fighting was always very patient with the whole construction project? Yeah, yeah. And even as a child, like seven, eight, nine years old watching it, I would even think then, because they basically weren in like a leg.

Like it wasn't like the Yellow Ranger was in a useless leg sitting over there. Like the Yellow Ranger would be in like a Triceratops mobile. And there's fucking six of them. And instead of everybody attacking with their jets and their planes on this monster, they're like, no, let's make it into one giant target where it's only one of us kind of controlling it up there and the rest sit around in a star trek-esque you know half moon like they're all in the head again yeah they're all yeah they're all in the head and i and i suppose everybody just kind of gives moral support to the one guy operating the like punch controls or the sword grabber but like brian cranston if you don't know this, played one of the monsters in the original Power Rangers. He's this guy,

he's in a big goofy suit, crushing cardboard buildings, and then he dukes it out with the Rangers and sadly falls. Yeah, Bryan Cranston. Among his many great works. Yeah, you know, talk about a guy with range. Yeah, he can be

a giant beetle monster, walter walter white you know or malcolm's dad run the whole malcolm's dad was very good you know we probably all know this because we're on reddit and the internet and stuff but the writers had this like running joke that brian cranston will do whatever we write like like we've given like normally i guess it's it's a common thing that especially when in a long-running show the writers are often writing a story where the actor's like uh i don't want like you know in the office there's an episode where he gets gum in his hair he ends up rubbing peanut butter on his hair maybe an some actor might be like i really don't want to do that i just really don't can we write around that and have it be someone else apparently brian

cranson never ever asked for any kind of a waiver like that so that's how you get episodes with him in that full body beast like like tight talk about what he was skateboarding speed roller skating he's speed walking no he got it he wanted to be like the world's best speed walker and the rules of speed walking is one foot on the ground all the times so he's maximizing his wind resistance with this hat that like comes back into like into like a like into a point behind him like he's an f1 car or something and he's got a like this skin tight suit for wind resistance with like flames on it and he's just and he becomes the best and but this guy comes

kicks his ass and he actually has to use hidden camera slow motion to prove that his competitor is taking a foot off the ground to beat him like so so there's episodes like that where he just looks silly but then there's episodes where he became like a modern artist and starts painting with his body all covered in paint like smashing naked against the wall and then of course the bee suit he covered his entire body with bees like like for real for this show it's brian cranson's a great guy i would love to meet that too that was he was dancing oh he's amazing at that he's so good on roller skates if you've never seen the video of like it's its own it's its own little clip on youtube of brian cranson on roller skates dancing and i don't recall the

song but it's i think it was disco it was disco it was definitely something like that and he's just like it's hard to dance i used to get into skates dude i in eighth grade in my freshman year in high school i was very cool by the way I was into roller skating, and that was my passion. I was good at roller skating. I just had a knack for it. But the coolest people roller skate danced in groups around the thing, around the rink. I was okay. I had a couple moves, but I didn't have partners to synchronize moves with.

In my twisted freshman brain, I was like, I am so good at roller skating. How awesome would it be if I could wear roller skates to school and then people would really appreciate the talent that I have on these things? See, that came into play in my generation with Heelys. Yeah. Now, did you have Heelys, Kyle? No.

I had Heelys, but I was long out of ice. I was 36. Woody got Heelys like six? No. I had Heelys, but I was 36. Woody got Heelys like six years ago. I did, yeah. And he was riding them around. I still have them. I can get them. We were all very chill about it. We were all very chill about it when Woody got Heelys.

I'm going to text my wife and ask her to bring me the Heelys. I can't believe it. My Heelys! I got those when I was in sixth grade. So how old were you in sixth grade? Like 12? And they were all the rage at the time to the point that every single boy and most of the girls in our grade school grade or whatever got them and were rolling around the hallways

and everything. They had to shut that down, make sure it was just people on the pavement outside at recess. And the way our parking lot was is it wasn't flat. It was like just enough of a decline to cause – to be like, I'm not going to roll down this hill. But also just enough decline that you have got a lot of speed on your Heelys by six feet into that mistake. And then you're just careening down. And so many kids got hurt so quickly that they just were like no more Heelys I'm sorry. We were banking on you guys being a little more coordinated

You're all hurting each other you're hurting yourselves. You're hurting each other and oh those were so much fun dude Thank you And it was it was the perfect Shoe to wear in the age where you're still too young To give a shit what people think or old enough to not give a shit what people think you know between that like teen years where you'd be like oh i'm not gonna wear heelys that's nerdy that's silly like if i had heelys i'd wear them now my daughter was like nine or ten when i got these heelys maybe a little older i'm not sure but um i think she was nine or

ten and she had heelys and she was really into them. So like I got Heelys so I could spend time with her. You know, that's a thing that parents do. And her friend, I won't give out her real name. I don't want to share it, but we used to call her Diesel. And she was so powerful. She grew up to be a softball player. And we would all hold hands. She was so powerful.

These are my Heelys. We used to call her, they called her Diesel. Yeah are my Heelys. They call her Diesel. They call her Diesel. She would tow us all around. My daughter and I would hold hands and this girl would just pull us up the hills. It's rough asphalt.

We're not going easily on this thing. She would haul us around on my Heelys and my daughter on her Heelys and we'd rock it. Oh, she didn't have Heelys and my daughter on her Heelys, and we'd just rock it. Oh, she didn't have Heelys. She was just the horse to pull you. She did have Heelys, actually, but I think she used the shoe portion to do the pulling. This girl isn't African-American by any chance, is she?

No. Because that's a visual that would not play. If I'm driving down the road and I look up to my left and there's a wealthy man and his young daughter being towed by an African-American girl. Especially if it's on your giant driveway and you have to like, they're looking at you judgingly and you go, oh no, don't worry. It's my property.

It's all cool. It's an old plantation. This is what we do here. They own everything I can see. It's an old plantation. This is what we do here. I own everything here I can see. Right now, I'm like, dude, I should break these things back. These are perfectly good Heelys. I haven't worn them in ages.

Yeah, they're pretty neat. They're pretty neat. You didn't know they came in size 11.5, but they do. Never saw an adult pair. I you have it right well that's true like nobody ever is like uh do you have a do you have i wonder what happened if i went to this store i was like do you have heelies in a 13 right it's for my enormous footed son i feel like buying a adult wheelies is kind of like buying adult diapers. You do it with shame. You don't want anybody to see you checking them out.

That's how we do it. I wonder what you have to do when you're that old and you have to buy your own Depends or whatever. And so you're like 72 or whatever and you have to like make a big to-do like I'm sure like alcoholics do. And they're like, God, hosting another huge party with these 80 beers like just talking to themselves and then you have to be like man my my father's been staying with us and you know he's been shitting all over the place these are certainly not mine and my father hasn't been dead for 30 years it's definitely not true yeah just ring it up and put it in the no not plastic definitely not plastic paper paper yeah nobody looks looking through that

anyway so what are we going to talk about this guy in the pig oh the guy so i was confused by the title of this because it says henderson man caught molesting pig after his penis gets stuck he was molesting that pig as his penis got stuck like it was I would say as soon as it got stuck it started molesting him a little bit because he was trying to probably get his dick out the sub so a Hendersonville man was caught having sex with the pig after his penis got lodged in the pigs vagina and and Taylor's right the order events is completely wrong he was having sex with the pig even before it got lodged in there are you sure we a hundred percent

sure I have to ask that he was fucking the pig and the pig was not fucking him well the pig i seriously doubt that's the actual pig i bet it is look at it laying in ecstasy just in the that is a happy pig that that guy on the left he doesn't look like a lover but he is he's he's don juan over there with a few miles for those of you who are listening to this the man accused uh the alleged pig fucker is one of the most awful looking human beings i've ever seen in my fucking life don't sit there and pretend that pigs you know out of his league. If you remember on the Indiana Jones

when all the Nazis' faces melted, he looks like he is .5 seconds into staring at the Ark of the Covenant and he's already started melting and the skin has started pooling downward already. He's so wrinkled and ugly. One eye is different than the other.

I don't know why I assumed it was his pig all along. I'm sorry the other. I assumed it was his pig all along. I'm sorry, Kyle. I thought there was a... A man like that can't afford his own pig. Like, you gotta... Believe it or not, all of these details are laid out. David Chavez of

Henderson, North Carolina. NC, baby, represent. He was having inappropriate relations with a pig on his property. No. A farmer, or wait, no, no, no. The farmer caught this guy fucking his pig. And so this is the guy's quote, the farmer. He says, and that's when I saw him.

I was just in shock at the sight of it. I yelled at the man to get off my pig or I would damn well shoot him. He was screaming, saying he was unable to move. His penis was stuck in the pig's vagina. Now, that last sentence, I guarantee, was not what was said by the actual farmer. And I told him to move and I'll shoot that dick right off. And he said, my penis is stuck in this pig. You think I want to hear your own?

And I said, you got two seconds before I'm calling the police. Can you imagine? No, no, no, no. I imagine totally the guy who's fucking the pig is like, help! I tripped and fell in, and it just got stuck. You know, it happens to all of us. The farmer reported hearing loud squealing coming from the pig pen in the back of his property. Suspecting that wild dogs might be trying to hurt his pigs,

he grabbed a shotgun and made his way out. Confused, he alerted the police. When we got there, they were locked up pretty good. It's not the sort of situation you expect to be called to. It was extremely disturbing. We had to use warm water to get them apart. Now, I wouldn't have known to do that. You know, I don't even know what...

How tight is this pig's vagina squeezing that i don't now so exposing a little bit of ignorance i don't know how pig vaginas work all right so i know a bit about pig vagina all right so so i think what's happened here is that we had a stickiness issue i think that i think that he put his dry penis into that dry pig vagina and some like some pig vagina lick like like goo basically glued him inside of this pig and that's what happened I do know this about pig penises unfortunately because I took an agricultural class where they artificially inseminate pigs and I trust mr. Maynard went ahead and told us about this because it'd be interesting.

I reckon the hog penis is shaped like a corkscrew on the end. Myers, if you pay attention and wake up over there, it's a corkscrew. It sounds awful. I hear your dry vagina theory, but that pig

in its post-cordial bliss clearly was a wet and wild situation again that is not the pig i i like to think it was you don't know that because you know that are you gonna tell me that's not david chavez of north of henderson north carolina i i i would bet i would bet anything because all right first of all they, how did that photographer get there to take that picture, right? They didn't untie the pig. They left it tied up. And then a photographer showed up to quickly snap a shot before they could untie the pig.

Did the perpetrator have time to hog-tie the hog? That's another question. Seems unlikely. I bet that's what was happening. I bet this Henderson man got into the pig farm, you know, seduced the pig. They're notoriously sleazy. And tied them up. Tied it up.

And then this is just. Yeah, he plied it with. Carly. Oh, I've got a whole hefty bag of garbage for you. Go to the bottom of this article. And this cracks me up for some reason. You might also like, you know, more from the same author, Nashville man who admitted to masturbating to a horse while high on crack.

What? Yeah, it's at the very bottom on the left. What's wrong with that? Oh, my God. No, this is made up. Look at the fucking picture. Thank you for finding this, Rory. Look at this guy's fucking picture.

The audience needs to see this because this, Rory. Look at this guy's fucking picture. The audience needs to see this, because this... You know how Kyle said the guy that we saw last time was five seconds into the Ark of the Covenant? This guy's seven or eight seconds into the Ark of the Covenant. And to the point that you can see the chin has disappeared. It's becoming just liquid, fleshy neck. He has one tooth that's discernible. He does have one tooth.'s discernible. He doesn't want to.

The horse is doing way better. Yeah, there's just a sea of black in there. Man, masturbating a horse while high on crack. Masturbating to a horse. Oh, okay. In fairness to him, that's a good looking horse.

Now, I do agree with you. This is not the horse he was masturbating to. What? Oh, God. There's no truth in reporting anymore. Again, not the same horse. Yeah, so I can't imagine what he's looking at while he's masturbating to the horse. Although I noticed on 4chan

that oftentimes there's a lot of pictures of horse pussies. Just lots of horse pussy on there. It's a bit disturbing yeah i would have thought for sure that the horse dong was the remarkable no because no there's there's guys who like fantasize about fucking the horse pussies and they look a little bit like a human vagina some of them do it's it's it's a bit disturbing and uh and then there's then like at alongside those are always an animated like like, horse vagina, which is, like, half human, half horse vagina. Wait, wait, wait, were you seeing these things?

What is this? Kyle, I thank you. You learn something new every day. Just randomly scrolling through, you know, 4chan, you know, I'll get on Bee or get on GIFs or something like that and just click all and scroll through and see what's up, you know, and you'll see a bunch of horse vaginas. I can't pass judgment. I just linked us all to a picture of a hog dick to confirm, you know, the actual... It's not like I'm, like, trolling over on, like,

horsepussy.org or something, you know? I'm just saying. It's a thing out there. Those people are crazy. Yeah, you don't go there. They kick me off the board. What happened with this guy, second guy, another Nashville fella, says when officers arrived, they found Humphreys with his pants down around his ankles,

pleasuring the male horse and himself simultaneously. When they asked him, what are you doing? A clearly high Humphreys told them that he and the horse were having a race to see who could come in first place. He was originally facing burglary charges for stealing that horse's heart, I would think. That kind of charm. Man, sentenced to two years probation

in order to pay $1,100 fine. I'm not sure, but I think this site is full of shit. The fact that they just have story after story of bestiality and hideous men, I feel like I see the formula here. Are you saying the Sunday Inquirer is not reputable? I mean, I never heard

of it until today. I've been using the Sunday Inquirer for over half an hour and not once. It led me down the wrong path. Man, that's good shit. I like hearing about that sort of thing um i i i've heard about uh um it's always really ugly men that like get caught because i can't get human women i that's it that's definitely a big part of it is there any debate at all it's this this guy can't

fuck a human woman and so he he goes, what's pretty close? A horse. And then you know what? That guy in the first story we read, he had tried with a horse and he wasn't even attractive enough for the horse. So he's like, all right, pigs, one more down. That's definitely what it is. Or they're just a bestiality. You know, you open a question.

I think the reason men get caught and women don't is because women are able to have sex with animals that they that are readily available and you can do the fucking in the privacy of a home like your dog like your dog whereas a man if he wants to get some animal loving on and he doesn't want to injure anything then he's really got to go to the farm he's got to find a farm nearby old man jenkins donkey old farmer crowleys pigs whatever you gotta like sneak into somebody's place and and and let me tell you because i know a lot of farmers they hate people sneaking onto their farm because there's a bunch of stuff that like you might be up to there you might some farmers have like rivalries and they'll literally sabotage each other's crops and like that's a thing and there's feuds between people in communities like that. And so I know two farmers who live, their properties border.

And they hate each other so much that they have each had those property lines redrawn. You call out the guy with the sticks and everything, whatever you call that guy. Surveyor. Surveyor, yeah. They've each had surveyors called out. And as a result, each time the property line was redrawn on to a slider specification and the guy cut down a tree in the other guy's front yard because he found he had the right to do so um and they think he's like i'm pretty sure he sneaks over here in the night and steals the

pins out of my tractor you know woody when you put equipment on a tractor and you've got that locking pin that goes in snaps well if you're like uh you know if you got one or two pieces equipment then you probably only have one one set of those and you're not that locking pin that goes in snaps. Well, if you're like, you know, if you got one or two pieces of equipment, then you probably only have one set of those and you're not, you know, the three bucks a piece. But if you have like 30 pieces of equipment and four tractors, then you've got hundreds of those and someone keeps coming and stealing them all. So what I'm getting at here

is that farmers are already on edge. They see somebody trespass and they don't know you're out just to fuck their pig. They'd probably be okay with that if you're just fucking their pig, but they don't know what you're up to. You might be stealing. You might be using their property for something nefarious.

Of course they wouldn't. Nobody wants you fucking their pig. I was going to ask the hierarchy of animals that you would fuck, and I realized I asked this on episode 12 with the I'm down cow thing. That's what the fourth... the hierarchy of animals that you would fuck and i realized i asked this on like episode 12 with the cow thing like that that's the fourth yeah and we all agree that the horse vagina is is a pretty pretty vagina as far as animal pussies go um and the horse itself is is kind of majestic

beautiful animal it's got that short coat that's kind of a sheen and then the the mane kind of looks like a nice head of hair sometimes it can can't talk. It can't follow you into the house afterwards. We had an anti-panda thing going on. Fuck the panda. No, yeah. Well, it's easy to say fuck the panda once you realize that all of that money that goes to making that one species live

could have been diversified to saving like 30 other species. And just because the panda's cute. First of all, that's a Chinese animal, all right that's a commie fucking bear all right you want to talk about some american north american bears then i'll get on board but we've been sending our american dollars to save this communist bear for like 30 or 40 years now and those things still don't want to fuck no and they never will like some who was it

that said like 99 of all animals that have ever existed are like already extinct i don't know how we could possibly know that but i've heard that said before and it's like fossil evidence right yeah if that even is true it's like yeah a lot of these animals go extinct because they fucking suck like all for every like frog you see on planet earth where it's like and a lot of these animals go extinct because they fucking suck like all for every like frog you see on planet earth where it's like and this frog you'll realize can jump twice as far as usual because of the extraneous pads on the four legs allowing it to grab onto the stem there and shoot it's exceptionally long for everything like that that's super specialized david attenborough could also be over there describing the losers of evolution. Where he's like, and this is the miniature bullfrog. It has no tongue.

It's not beneficial to the species whatsoever. The females were extraordinarily picky. Choosing frogs instead. Once again, not good. It's like, yeah, of course, there would be tons of those, and pandas are in that category. If you can't, like, has anyone ever had to take two rabbits and be like all right get it going like get this started we need to save rabbits no the problem is always these rabbits are way too fucking good at creating more rabbits like pandas don't if you wanted to be here you'd have taken the initiative by now pandas so yeah i i agree completely there's a lot of animals that just aren't going to make it, and we should just let go, right? Like, the same way you would at some point if someone's, like, an alcoholic in your life, and you're like, Jesus, it's—

We've spent the last 20 years trying to get Uncle Larry off the booze. Like, I think we have to cut him out of our life at this point. I think we're there with the panda. I think we're there with the panda. At this point, we should accelerate it. I say, with the panda. I think we're there with the panda. At this point, we should accelerate it. I say, kill the panda. Hunt him down in his bamboo forest. Drive him from his lairs in our zoos.

Skin them, make panda hats. There's only like a handful left. You don't even have to like use a bunch of, you know, caterpillar equipment or anything or rent a U-Haul to drive equipment out there. Just you and a couple of friends hop in a dune buggy, head on out. Like you'll'll find them all and i guarantee if you could like put a hat like a rick and morty style hat on the pandas and hear what they were saying because you'd want to ask

him like why the fuck don't you just bang that that panda right there and put a baby panda in her belly you know like you'd put that hat on and that panda immediately be like it's not that i'm not interested in suzanne it's more that I'm just kind of waiting for the right time. You know? And I don't know. You know, my dad had the same problems. And it would be like, oh, this panda is gay as fuck. Damn it.

Damn it. We've wasted so much time on this gay animal. And then people would have to go, you know, should we? Then there would be a real debate. They'd be like, should we force this gay animal to fuck this female panda? And they'd be like, well, I don't know. The panda should be able to decide for itself. This is the future we're headed towards.

Where would the blue team, the liberals, come down on the gay panda issue? Would they make them procreate for the survival of their species? Or would they respect their decision? What if the male panda has like genity gender identifies as a female and that's the issue all this time ah they need to respect that panda's decision i feel like we need to fund that panda's transition surgery is what we need to do

clearly yes and then send it to college on someone else's dime so we could study you know eating leaves badly and not fucking but i i bet it would get screwed out of college admissions though because it's asian So we could study, you know, eating leaves badly and not fucking. But I bet it would get screwed out of college admissions, though, because it's Asian. Oh, strong point, strong point. But the SAT scores would be fantastic. That'd be so funny. After Timbo the Panda was brought to the United States, unfortunately, he would turn down six Ivy League schools, relying

instead on his safety school, Michigan State. It shows him walking through, freezing his fucking ass off in Michigan. Eating a little chunk of bamboo angrily in class. No eating in class, Timbo?

Put his hat back on. I don't know what he's saying. Yeah, I feel like the second we hear what an animal is actually saying in its head, if we can ever translate that into English, we're going to immediately realize, like, oh, no. Oh, like, the bridge between how smart we are and how smart animals are is so much bigger than we thought. We thought that when like this dog or whatever was doing this thing that we trained it to do, that it was having like real emotions

and thoughts and like, oh, I learned this. Are you proud of me for learning this pops? And then we'll be realized that they're just like idiots, just complete idiots is what would be revealed to us, I think. We're not going to see any complex thoughts in animals' heads. Maybe a dolphin or a whale. Yeah, I think some of the animals have complex thoughts. No, not a turtle. Maybe the old turtle. You never know. But I'm always intrigued when I see the gorilla, that new sign language,

and when they would ask it about complex issues like death and love and babies and stuff, it seemed like that gorilla was describing emotions. When they talked about something dying, and it was like, how does that make you feel? And the gorilla was like, cry. It makes me feel like cry. And it's like, oh, shit, why are you making the gorilla sad? Let's make it happy all the time, right? If we have this opportunity to, like, you know, it's a gorilla. That's true. That's a really good example. You'd be like, guess what, Coco?

Because you just painted that picture. All of the children in the world are happy now. How does that make you feel, Coco? And Coco would be like, happy, happy. Ho, ho, ho. Make the world happy. That actually goes to my point that the animal is not very bright. Because if you tell it you know

the whole like if it just conceptualized the death of all ball the name of its cat that got run over in that that clip and then you tell it like but that drawing you drew the outside world in addition to killing your cat every child is now overjoyed with your drawing and it's and it's not like i find that to be dubious uh since very few people are even aware of my existence. Is this not correct? And it'd be like, oh, damn it, we got bamboozled. But that's what I want to see. I want to see the outsmart, or the gorilla outsmart a human.

Not in like a Planet of the Apes way, in like a silly way where we can still be like, all right, but you know what the story is. Coco's like, bullshit. like a silly way where we can still be like, all right, but you know what the score is. Coco's like, bullshit. You realize you only have your arms because I haven't torn them off yet? I think Bill Burr was really on to something when he's like,

why are they asking how much I can bench? That's the question you really would want to ask a gorilla, right? You know how long I've tried to find weightlifting videos of gorillas on the internet? A long time, and it's fruitless because the most you'll find is them being like, all right, here's a really, really heavy weight, and a strong guy is carrying a 130-pound dumbbell or something, and he puts it somewhere, and then the gorilla will come over and just kind of look at it a little bit, pick it up, like sniff it,

and then like throw it into the air and like run away. And it's like, well, we didn't learn anything. Have you actually found that? I'll have to find it again. I don't even think it was on YouTube. This was a long time ago. I looked for a study on how strong gorillas were because I didn't believe,

I think people were saying 8 to 12 times stronger than people. Now, I believe that they're stronger, but 8 to 12 times stronger than people. Now, I believe that they're stronger, but 8 to 12 times seemed excessive. Like, how can their muscles literally be, like, 10 times better than human muscles? It seems like a stretch. And I looked it up, and the way that they measured it was a gorilla pulling on a door handle.

So they had people pull on the door handle, and then they had gorillas pull on the door handle. I just found that to be dubious. Like, I want to see the form. I want to see the videos. For all I know, people are pulling on the door handle i just found that to be dubious like like i want to see the form i want to see the videos that for all i know people are pulling on the door handle and the gorilla is like doing flying jumps while holding the door handle and of course that like burst strength is going to be higher i need to know that they're doing it the same way they need a thing that like they need they need to they need to utilize some kind of movement or motion the gorilla already does.

If gorillas were good at this, pulling two things apart or pulling two things this way, and then they could put up a machine that had resistance bands or weights better. If you could see a gorilla grab a bar and pull on that bar to open a door and get to some food, maybe motivate him that way. By pulling that bar, he's operating a pulley get to some food maybe motivate him that way and by pulling that bar he's operating a pulley you know like a weight machines type thing and all of a sudden 900 pounds go up with one hand and he reaches in and grabs his biscuit you're like well then i would know but when i but even if i see him grab like a hundred pound dumbbell and kind

of flick it it's like well i that doesn't that tells me he's crazy crazy strong but like i can't quant quantify that you can't take that like oh oh, so we can throw a 100-pound dumbbell like that easily and then leap off like it was nothing. But where does that translate to squats or bench press? But that was what I thought was neat about it is maybe it was an orangutan. Maybe it wasn't a gorilla. I'll have to find it. But just how little of a fuck these animals – or there's ones on the internet of them moving logs and uh there's one where a gorilla is like walking by a troop of people in africa

and he reaches out and grabs this african guide's leg and then just yeah pulls him to the ground and drags him for a second and then just lets him go just showing that the guy's face yeah the guys it wasn't like a guy who paid to go there it was like an african guy a guide who just like kids got dragged down his face is just saucers his eyes as he's like oh well you know i had a good run uh i helped my country as much as i can and it turns out in the end i am a literal sacrifice for the gorilla a wonderful creature i have seen tigers do what you're talking about like i i think we watched it together on the show. A tiger like fell into the enclosure.

I'm sorry. A person fell into the tiger's enclosure and he grabbed him by the neck or something and carried him. And just the nature of the, like I can grab a man like by under his armpits and pull him a few feet, but you'll see that I don't have like a lot of extra horsepower to spare this tiger. So effortlessly carried him. Like I would a rabbit. And it was like, a few feet, but you'll see that I don't have a lot of extra horsepower to spare. This tiger so effortlessly carried him like I

would a rabbit. It's like the way you're saying it, you could drag me or Kyle under our arms for little ways, but if you had to go up the stairs or climb a tree or something, you would have no dexterity.

You couldn't move us as you were moving yourself the tiger just latches on to the neck and then like pulls it forward in an uncomfortable angle and the whole body like 100 150 pounds just dragging limp you know it was a little guy to be fair was the guy asian or indian or something like like yeah so a smaller guy but but but he picked him up like a like a cat would a mouse or something he really carried that guy like nothing tigers are fucking big man i wish we like i wish humans had something dope that wasn't just being way way way smarter than everything else we got apparently we're good at running distance yeah that we're the world's best running we're the world's best distance runners i wonder if that. I wonder if that's true. It is.

A thousand percent true. Yes. I'm just pitching this. We take our best runners and compare them to everyday animals. Like, all right, we're going to take this marathon dude, and then we're going to compare it to some random cheetah we found and see who can run farther or an antelope or whatever. What if they just grabbed one of the three of us and said, all right, we're going to see how Woody, his distance running compares to a deer. They'd be like, you know what? Turns out Woody's three of us and said, alright, we're going to see how Woody his distance running compares

to a deer. They'd be like, you know what? Turns out Woody's kind of shit. No, we'd win. You think I could outrun a deer? Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I appreciate the vote of confidence, but I'm betting against me. You don't have to run fast.

It's a thing. It's a very, very light jog, right? The way our ancestors did it was out on that African plane where you could see the fucking animal a mile away. And they're like, yeah, there he is. And we'd also run in groups, to be fair. But one guy's jogging. You just have to jog. If you can jog for two hours, you can run something to death.

Here, like, I've seen, like, I've ran a rabbit to death. Like, if you just start running after a rabbit a rabbit, you can't go very far. You can't go very far at all. I can barely catch my dogs. Dogs are good distance runners. Yeah, dogs are good. That's why they use them for dog sleds in Alaska.

Stuff like that. Oh, that's true, yeah. Yeah, I know someone who has a dog sled team, but they're fucking Malinois. Like, I've got the fucking attack dogs. It's terrifying to see, like, 12 of those pulling a sled. Is that a good idea, though?

Like, I feel like they picked, like, Huskies or whatever it is because they went through the list of dogs and were like, all right, this seems to work the best. I don't know why. I watched that and I did a documentary. Those dogs only pull, like like seven pounds each like you know like each of their load so they're really just running almost unloaded now i'm sure she pulled on my shirt seven pounds worth it would annoy me but i kind of pictured them like really driving we used to have a neighbor with huskies and when she walked them they would drag i think it was two tires on their harness.

And that would just help. They were like show dogs, and she wanted them to be strong, and that's what she did. So I always thought that when they were pulling those sleds, that they were like dragging tires down the street. But no. Well, they're running in packed snow for like days at a time, right? You're a badass. How many are there? How many dogs are in a team?

Is it 12? I think it's 10 or 12. When you say seven, do you mean that's how much force they have to exert? You're bad at it. How many are there? How many dogs are in a team? Is it 12? I think it's 10 or 12. When you say 7, do you mean that's how much force they have to exert? Because obviously the weight that's being towed would equal more than 7 pounds per dog. I don't know. It'd be like 700 pounds divided by 10. Well, that'd be 70 pounds per dog.

But they're doing some kind of physical calculation, like a physics calculation or something. I'm talking about force exerted to move the weight. Because you're on snow when it's on slits. So you pull with seven pounds of force and you move maybe 30 pounds of weight. I just think the ratio might be much better. I think if it's 700 pounds, it might only take 70 pounds to get it going. Okay.

Yeah, because it's on ice and slick. None of us know what we're talking about. That's how we do the show. I read a couple of Jack London books. Does that count? I remember, did you ever read, what is it? What's the Call of the Wild, right? I think we had to read that for school.

About Buck the Dog. I think he's like a part St. Bernard or something. He's in sunny California and he gets kidnapped by a man. And he wakes up in this train car and it's a man with a club. And he tries to attack him over and over. And the man with the club just beats him back every time. He learns that in there, I cannot beat a man with a club. And he's like, from then on, I know.

And so, like, he works on, they put him on a dog sled team. And he almost dies from the exertion. But he's this, like, German shepherd background dog. And all the other dogs are more like huskies. And he's bigger and more powerful. And he has this fight with the alpha. And he eventually becomes the alpha. And he eventually becomes, like like this champion sled dog team to the point where like they place bets

on whether this long dog can break and pull that giant weight out there like they're in a town somewhere and there's a there's a sled ice down like like not broken free from the icy ground it's frozen to the ground laden with like f like, furs and heavy supplies, and the man says, Buck can pull and break that sled 30 yards. I'll bet someone all the money he had or whatever. And then the dog, with all of his might, breaks the sled

and pulls it along. At one point, the dog fights a wolf to save his human and the other dogs. It's a great book. Those are great. I love that. I actually haven't read that book. I was thinking of that one with Chris McCandless. The guy who went out and lived in the wilderness like an idiot with no experience

and died in the bus. Oh, that's like... I thought you were going to say that Hatchet or My Side of the Mountain. I like those books too. Have you ever seen Hatchet, Red Hatchet, or My Side of the Mountain? Hatchet's great. My Side of the mountain uh i preferred it's it's about this kid who goes up in the catskill mountains uh and like lives on his

own he's like making acorn pancakes he climbs a cliff face and captures a baby peregrine falcon which in case you don't know is like an enormous predatory bird that can fly like 200 kilometers per hour or maybe it's 200 miles per hour it's absurd when it when it hits things uh like and uh he trains it and he like he's like he becomes a falconer he uses the falcon to go like catch him rabbits and birds and stuff for his food i always like those books about people going out into the the wild and i don't know yeah those are always interesting because like it's a good way to pretend that you would do okay even for like a second like i i remember reading books like that and you like read the tips they're doing where they're like as i was making my hut i

remembered to make lateral slits in the in the tree bark adjacent to make sure that it wouldn't catch fire or whatever the fuck like little tips i'm like oh see there yeah there's another thing i would have been on fire first night even if this happened like and there's no way i would have been able to throw a spear at anything like when they fashion like bows and arrows like that. I don't know. It's so impressive, especially it's just like the real the book version of primitive technologies that YouTube channel, which is so sick. I was just going to. He hasn't made a video in a while, I think.

But I was just going to like every time I watch this stuff, I'm like, oh, this guy does at least two things that I can't do. One, whatever the fuck this video is about. And two, look good with his shirt off. You know, what an asshole. Yeah. So that's my take on it. And he's a primitive technology guy. He has a body of very functional strength look kind of guy.

He looks like how I imagine someone who got all their musculature from building huts would look. Because it's a lot of squatting, and it's a lot of smacking stuff down and grabbing buckets and heaving it up. A lot of core. His back is very

strong. His core is very strong. It's a lot of functional strength, like I said. But he's not all buys and tries or anything. He's just a guy who can get work done. Yeah. Yeah. He looks a little bit like those villagers you always see that are fucking ripped when you go to the Amazon. But then here's what I find interesting.

I like the shows where the white man goes to the jungle and meets the people who have never seen him. And we're always towering over these little people. What's that about? Why do we never find some fucking giants so there aren't giants it's i i think the answer is this i've read it um if you want to know how tall a society is you look at their nutrition if you want to know how tall a person is you look at their parents ah that makes sense some i mean like i think that's pretty universal to what Kyle's talking about. Every time you see a clip of some British dude or whatever the hell, some documentarian going and meeting a tribe, he's always not just four inches taller than pick out the usually tall guy who's like five six or something and he's like looking around like i am not a fan of these people yeah to me i am in fact a big fish in a very very small pond yeah the indigenous people i bet they

spend a lot of their time hungry you know like they don't have snacks between meals all the time There's no pantry filled with cheese. It's an indigenous tribes yet They get the Western guy from England or something who's raised spent his entire life Never having to go six hours between meals. I think yeah, I think Africa is a continent is is Like way shorter on average right like the people there because of nutritional shit? I really know about them from Manute Bowl. I don't think they have very accurate statistics there for some reason. It's like the record keeping really isn't up to par. No, but Kyle, we've sent billions and billions of dollars to help with stuff like that.

Are you saying that's being commandeered by some chieftain or warlords? It seems like it mostly goes to the industry there. As long as the kids are not getting the kids involved. Resources. The kids are the main resource they have. The tiny hands. They mine for diamonds well. I like this argument.

The places that we've sent the most money to are the ones that are doing the worst. And you're like, ah, correlation or causation? I'm not quite sure. It could be that they're doing terrible because I read it right on the internet, Kyle. It can't be. What about Germany

and Japan and Italy? I was talking about African aid. The African places that we don't give aid to, like South Africa, are doing fine. And the places that we do give aid to, like South Africa, are doing fine. Because they don't fucking need it. Right. And the places that we do give aid to are doing terribly. So you ask yourself like, oh, are they doing terribly because of the aid

and they don't really have... Like, if you dump aid into a place, now we're giving away free food, the farming industry is decimated, right? Here I am selling food while you're getting it for free. How the hell do I develop a farming economy, you know? Here I am like...

Yeah, that's what's holding them back. That's one argument that people make. Yeah, that's what's holding them back from agriculture here in the 21st century. It's us. And then the other argument you can make is that... Well, of course we give our aid to the places that are struggling. That's why it goes there. We cause them to struggle. But I don't know the answer.

What I'm saying is, like, it's interesting that we're arguing about what's holding back some 21st century peoples from figuring out agriculture, you know what I mean? When, like, the rest of humanity, for the most part, figured out, like, thousands and thousands of years ago. It's like if Piles totaled his car and he needed my help to fix it,

and I was like, all right, I'll pay for 100% of your left taillight. And you're like, but that's not the problem that needs solving right now. Like, there are way bigger problems to solve. And I'm like, well, then, no, that's all I can pay for. Sorry. And if some crim steals the money on the way there and steals your children and makes them fucking farm rubber or get their fingers lopped off, then sorry about that, too. Didn't mean to pay him.

Oops. fingers lopped off and sorry about that too didn't mean to pay him oops so there's there's an argument you can make and it wouldn't be wrong that the way that we distribute it isn't efficient that it's getting you know robbed by chieftains and things like that all the time the other thing is if we give out shoes all the cobblers go out of business you know that's an example i've heard because of tom's shoes before where i've heard people be like uh like when ripping on tom's being like because what tom's is they make really shitty shoes uh and they sell them for a ton of money and then send a second pair of those shitty shoes to africa and i'd never thought about it before but they're like yeah when you're doing that all you're doing is saying to joe cobbler down the street yeah you you who make your living by making sandals out of fucking old tires sorry

sorry toms is on the case there's a nice one tire you know that's selling Bullshit, yeah, and they're gonna let last way way longer than a town shoe made from paper and like repurposed Starbucks cups I like you That's all it is point of Tom's. If you get Cooper tires, you're fucked. They're stomping around on those like a fucking noob. They're like those Firestone tires and they're just running with their feet.

You know, a blaze. He's an unsatisfactory pair of shoes. I got a brand new pair of Pirellis. They are zero rated up to 100 miles per hour. Before Taylor joined the show, Kyle bought They are Z-rated up to 100 miles per hour. I don't know if Taylor knows. Before Taylor joined the show, Kyle bought Coopers for, I think it was his Camaro.

And Wings really looked... Cooper is a tire manufacturer, like Goodyear, Pirelli, or Firestone. And when Kyle said he got Coopers because they had the same rating, but they were less money. Wings can sometimes be indelicate with his criticism yeah oh my gosh he was just like he's totally ripping on your tires it's great yeah oh yeah oh like i was like i was just a i had made just this huge like mistake in life and and and of course you know it's wings saying this to me so i'm i'm just looking at like yeah yeah oh man did i really step in shit with the cooper tires wow i wish you could have made me miss that you know skip at that hurdle

and like wow you really knew what was best well his advice would have been to spend like 1200 on a set of fucking tires is what his advice would have been and get some pirellis or something because the rubber's a lot softer yeah he i will say i have expensive time i've uh for people who know tires they're the is it bridgestone all-terrain i think that's what i have and uh people like them they they they're considered a very good tire the thing is they're loud and they're expensive and i'm like man i i feel like i just spent more on tires than i could to have a really loud truck yeah i um i i put so many miles in these tires. I really wish I'd kept up with it, but I need a new set right now.

I'm not driving. If I had to go somewhere right now, I wouldn't go in my car because of the tires. They have to be taken care of. Oh, it's time. Yes, yes. I did it on purpose. I was like, I'm going to get maximum use out of these tires. Can you see the threads and such? Oh, yes, I did it on purpose. I was I was like I'm gonna get maximum use out of these tires Like when I take them in oh, yes

Like the other day the other day a little strip of tire started like whacking the inside of the fender like a strip of it Peeled off and I pulled over because I thought I had a blowout But it was just a strip of tire hanging off and I just like reached under there and yanked it like ripped it off and Like threw it and I was like good to go again And then I want to touch it recently. I wanted to feel how smooth it was. And it was sharp. There was like a little piece of, you know, the wires are sticking out.

Every now and then somebody has some sort of like Windows notification that goes off. I'm pretty sure it's Taylor. It's some kind of notification that's reminding him to like update something or another. And it plays the audio. That's what that sound is. Well, like I'm turning on quiet hours I didn't know that was an option sorry that's the new Windows 10 update that initiated quiet hours whatever the fuck that is

well I'm glad it loudly beeps at me to tell me to buy things I'm not going to buy did you know about quiet hours our new feature you can turn this off! It's like, no, you can just stop sending me bullshit for this horrible OS. Do you not like Windows 10? I'm told people like it.

I don't like it that much. I also didn't like it that much because I heard Kyle telling me, oh, I was telling him, I'm going to buy Battle for Middle-Earth 2. And it's only $140 on... It's like $300 if you want to buy the game and the expansion, Rise of the Witch King. It's a PC game that was super awesome.

They don't sell it anywhere anymore. And then I was looking into it, and it's like, alright, I'm going to pay $290 and this 100% will not run on Windows 10. Like, there's no chance. And you're getting that sent to you, right, on Windows 10. Like, there's no chance. And you're getting that sent to you, right, Kyle? Yeah. Oh, have you got it yet?

No. I talked to the guy last... It's on the way. A fan is sending me... It's Shadow of... What's the name of the game? Battle for Middle-Earth 2. Battle for Middle-Earth 2, yeah. He's sending me the collector's edition PC game.

Yeah. It's like an RTS game from 2006 where it was just so like so far ahead of its time that in 2006 it was like if you were playing an rts game it was it was it was 2008 early in 2006 you know and it was it blew all the rest of out of the water and i was i really want to play that game so much and so when kyle was like oh yeah that game i don't even really give that much of a fuck about because i got my vr headset over here and shit like someone's sending it to me for free and so i was like oh well fuck well i don't want to spend 280 and then uh i was asking chiz because he knows how to do technology

i'm like chiz if i spend this 290 to get this these two games from 11 12 years ago or whatever how do i run it and he linked me to a ton of tech stuff about how I can bootleg other OSs and convince my computer that it's actually Windows 7 or something. Yeah, like run it through the CD-ROM. Yeah, and I was like this isn't going to work. All I'm going to end up doing is

sitting up until 3am one night, furious at myself, not letting myself stop trying to figure it out because I spent $290 and then I'll just relist it on fucking eBay. Like, goddammit, now I can't even check my email after this. Like, fuck. What have I done? And the screen's just blue with all these blocks on it

now. Yeah, when I saw Chiz's description of how to make that game work, I was like, this cannot be worth it. No, even that's not worth it for me. It's not worth the stress. Like, I could see the dopest piece of furniture ever, but if it's Ikea or requires any form of assembly whatsoever, I'm not dealing with it.

It's going to suck. I really dislike assembly and doing it because I've done so much of it. It's not that Ikea furniture is some big mind game or a puzzle or something because it's fairly simple instructions. Just lay the pieces out, pieces out label them and go i just don't like doing it i just don't like doing it and i do it pretty well like you said it's not a real challenge i just don't like the furniture i think at this point i buy furniture that's better than ikea furniture

because you can't move it it's all held together together with cams and bullshit. It's usually not solid wood. Some tiny piece of metal that you turn a screw 90 degrees and it locks together or something. Furniture that seems half decent, you let it go a couple years and now the bookshelves are sagging and you can't move it.

It shifts and it's like fuck it. We try to buy furniture now that lasts. Ed? When you drive for the right ride-sharing app, every trip can feel like a walk in the park. With Lyft, you can pick your own hours and work when you want. Lyft can make driving the best job in the world.

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That's lyft.com slash pka. lyft.com slash pka. lyft.com slash pka. Limited time only. Terms apply. Very cool. Check them out. They're dominating the game. You want to do a Patreon AMA question?

Yeah, I got a couple here. Yeah, so... Do you have one? I do, actually. All right, so there's Patreon. You guys probably know about that. Link in the description. At different levels, you can ask questions and influence the show and stuff like that. I think it's either $5 or $10. $10! And you get a PKN early.

Awesome. Oh yeah, and you guys saw what PKN was like this week. I put one up for free. To all hosts, what's the single most amount of pressure you've been in under one day? How did you deal with it? Did that pressure make you win thanks and uh mine i'm kind of cheating on the question because it wasn't a one day thing i think the most pressure i've ever been under was when i was

buying my partner out of woody craft like that was the stress i didn't eat for a while i lost like a lot of weight i don't't know, seven pounds in two weeks, something like that. Like it was a notable amount of weight. I just said my food, I wouldn't finish it. I didn't like it. Uh, so much stress that I don't usually lose an appetite over something like that. It, I, it felt like a divorce almost. And, uh, my partner and I just weren't, um, we weren't designed to be partners. So I bought out his half and the whole negotiation process was ruthless. And did I win? In the end, I think it was fair.

I think I paid him a lot for what he did. And he looked at where Woody Craft went after he left and thinks that I didn didn't pay enough so if we're both unhappy maybe it was fair that's uh that's my there's my most stress i've ever been in their story i don't know i really don't um i've had stressful days where like i had to get stuff done um but you know it's it's, I guess I just kind of have a mentality that handles that fairly well, because there's a lot of things that are just out of your control. And I'm good at think, those don't stress me. If something's not under my control, then it cannot, it inherently cannot be a stressor to me. Because I just get into that mindset of like, well, look, either A and B are going to happen or

they're not going to happen. The important thing is that you do your part and you execute and do your thing. And I don't know. I can't think of like the most stressful thing. Like there's been like days where we had to film something where it's like, if you miss or fuck this up, it's going to cost a lot of money. But I really don't feel that stress. It's just like it either will or it won't. It's out of my control. One of the most stressful things for me, you mentioned up it's going to cost a lot of money but but i really don't feel that stress it's just like it either will or it won't it's out of my control one of the most stressful things for me you mentioned if it's not under your control it doesn't bother you when i'm responsible for it but i can only influence the outcome that's the the hardest thing on me like if if i'm if someone's working for me doing a thing and i have to like like, look, the buck stops here, but they're doing the thing, then that is, for me, the most difficult situation. If I can just do it, you know, if it's a matter of me getting my job done, well, I can knock that out.

I can respond to that with hard work. But if it's a matter of, like, you getting your job done, that's where it's hard on me. Yeah, that's how I am. Like, if I'm in control of it and it's something I can just sit down and bang out, it's where it's hard on me. Yeah, that's how I am. Like if I'm in control of it and it's something I can just sit down and bang out, it's like, all right, that's fine. I can do that. But if it's like I'm waiting on four other people to each get their singular thing done and like then you know that they're not going to get things to you until the last possible second.

And then it's in your hands, but it might be like that kind of shit where you're just beholden to someone else's schedule is what causes stress. Because stress is, I don't know, a lot of it's just uncertainty, not knowing how something's going to pan out. Yeah. And that happens a lot more with more people involved. I had one that interested me. It was something about college degrees. I want to get the phrasing right.

Did you guys see that one? No, let me look. I misspelled college. so maybe here it is i was doing a search in it do any of you wish you had a different college degree would you go back and change it if you could i know college how to go to school i guess you could address that taylor do you wish you had a different college degree yeah i think if I could go back again, I would do some kind of finance. Because the money in it. Just maybe that. And then also just I feel like learning a lot of stuff about finance and how that works as a younger person really is awesome to know going into life. Because like, you know, you don't enter the world knowing anything about savings or what

you're supposed to be doing. And, you know, know if you're not careful you're going to end up just socking all your money away and just a savings account instead of making it work for you and so it's like i don't know i wish i had more understanding and more professional if you can call college training that more training on you know just common sense stuff with finance uh because now like like i still don't know very much about it at all other than like independent research like i'm thankfully i'm pretty conservative with my money like i don't buy big things and i don't spend a lot but like i don't know i just it was one of those things getting out in the world the same with taxes

where i was like oh shit like but nobody nobody there was no lesson for this like do you want to know who the king of babylon in 420 B.C.? Because I got that. Yeah, that's – Fucking Nebuchadnezzar. But I don't know how to file my taxes. It was one of – I hate that. I don't know if I need to even help with that.

That really speaks to like where I stand on this. I wish that I had gone to a trade school. I wish I had learned like – I wish I was proficient at welding. Like, I would, my cousin did, like, four years of training now in welding, plus, like, hundreds of hours of, like, specialization and, like, traveling to, like, this guy who teaches this class about this specific thing.

So, like, I don't need that. But I wish that I was proficient enough that I, like, I always knew exactly what I was doing and I knew how to do it. And not just welding, but, you know, a couple other things. I'm taking an explosive class now. There's all kinds of little, like, knowledge-type things that I'd like to have. Like, things that you can utilize, though.

Like, not necessarily a degree that would come along with lots of history and English. And the King of Babylon isn't going to help me too much in life. However, like, some of those trade trade oriented skills would be nice to have. I tried to go back to school for that. I was looking for a, a video editing course. Right. And it's like, look, the problem I had was that they only offered the very first one. You know, they're like how to import media into your timeline and stuff. And it's like, God, that doesn't help me. I do that all the time.

I wanted the next one, like how to do color correcting better. How did, you know, maybe some artistic stuff, maybe some storytelling, like help me do editing. And, uh,

that I didn't see, but like welding, you could definitely take a course on that. Oh yeah, for sure. Like there's a trade school right, right near me. Yeah.

Yeah. Sometimes I think about that. I should do that. How expensive is that? Like way, way less than college, slightly more than free.. I should do that. How expensive is that? Like, obviously way, way less than college. Slightly more than free. It's not that bad.

If you want the degree, even, it wasn't that much. It was like $16,000 maybe for a couple years or something like that, if I remember correctly. I could be wrong about that. I think the courses will be under a grand. The courses are cheap, you know, just for doing one thing like like and like just imagine like if you did that with your spare time like what do you if you learned like ac repair uh like that'd be a nice thing to have in your back pocket you know because that that that's one place where you always get ripped off in life if you if you knew how to fucking rebuild a transmission and you had

that when you're in your back pocket it'd be nice to little skills like that would be nice to have i'm i'm proficient enough at carpentry and plumbing and electrical that like i don't need one of those guys to like show up every time there's a little malfunction i can rewire a an outlet i can hook up a an electrical light if a pipe bursts i certainly know what to do but with a car i'm not always that good especially modern cars they're you know got a computer issue then you gotta rely on someone I need to learn how to handle plumbing at all because anytime there is an issue with a sink or a toilet or I guess that about runs the gamut of plumbing but like surprised the showers and baths but like every time there's even like a little thing like a leak I have no idea what to do. You'll watch a YouTube video,

and it'll be like, what you want to do is tighten this area here if you're getting this level of leakage. Now, if you're noticing a little bit more leakage than this, it might be an internal fissure. So do not tighten it more. If you're getting more leakage than this, you might actually cause a structural damage,

and it'll ruin it even more. And it's like, I'm not confident enough in my ability to gauge how much liquid is coming out of this pipe. So I'm going to call someone. I do want to be able to do stuff like that. Just because that'd be pretty cool. To be like, oh, something fucked up. Let me handyman Taylor. Come on over.

Get my wrench and my tools and do whatever. I'm pretty good at finding a YouTube video and then making that happen. We've got a high efficiency washer and dryer and that's a little bit different than working on an old school one. It had a... What was the issue that it had? Oh, the

drain was clogged. For mine, that meant that you had to take the front panel off, the top panel off, the digital display completely off. You had to completely disassemble this motherfucker just to get to the bottom and get this plug undone. And it was a long fucking process. But every time I go to do something like that,

there's a YouTube video of someone who's going through the exact same shit I am, and I have three YouTube videos in. And I'm like, ah, and here's the guy who had the problem that I had, but he actually fixed it. Because there'll be like two guys who are like, well, I thought I knew what I was doing, but goddamn, look at this now. You've got to skip through those videos.

You'll be following their tutorial, and then they'll get to the part where they're like, ah, damn, well, I didn't do nothing, did it? You're like, fuck, I've been following along with you. Dude, so I got it. One, you know where there's no info? Air conditioner repair. I don't know why but HVAC people, they

fucking hoard that knowledge and don't tell anybody. They're like the Freemasons. Oh my god! So there's no information on YouTube, there's no manuals that are published for anything you own. Like, if you want to fix your car, there is info out the wazoo. Everyone will tell you everything about how to fix cars all the way back to shit that's built like in the 30s

but that air conditioner next to your house it's it's a mystery they don't tell you anything about and as far as the degree stuff i'm i was taylor kind of opened my eyes to it like i have an accounting degree that i never really used like i started my first career was accounting i didn't like it and i stopped doing it and but i but I, I feel like I'm substantially wealthier, like, you know, into my forties than I would have been without a business degree. Oh, I don't doubt that one bit. Like that accounting degree definitely paid dividends just in, in your knowledge of how to handle finances. And I'm sure there were little things that you didn't even realize that you were doing that you knew were the right move financially, that someone like me who doesn't have that expertise might look at it and have to really mull it over and be like, oh, yeah.

So that's how. So now I'm getting what a 401k is or whatever the fuck the situation is. And then on the tech side, like, yeah, computers were a good career for me. Like that worked out well. And then even afterwards, like I think one of the things I did well on YouTube is i my my quality of videos was better like my video was a little better my audio was a little better and it's not that i learned that in school but i kind of learned how to dive in and self-teach and stuff in school and uh and then of course the minecraft server i think that ran better because of my tech background than it would have without it so those degrees like they

they really influenced what i can do and what i do do so i don't have any i wouldn't change anything but like kyle said i could add stuff you know that's a that's to make a short story long when i finished school when i finished my master's i was like i'm so tired of school i am burnt out and and i started doing woodworking because like my my geek muscles were fucking rocking but my like american male muscles were atrophied and weak i didn't know how to do anything around the house or didn't know how to work on a car didn't know any of those things so those are like those were my next passions like off-roading or woodworking or there were things that let me expand that part of me. Yeah. I think that's important.

Stay balanced, which I really like Kyle's suggestion of the trade school thing, because if I ever did go back to school, I feel like that would be the route to go. Like just learning something new, whether or not it's carpentry or, or I don't know, just somewhere where you can build. I wish I were better at building shit,

I guess is what I'm saying. That's not Legos or I, I mean, I probably wasn't even that great at Legos. I haven't played with them in 15 years, and I bet people were just lying and saying, that looks really good, Taylor. That's a great design. They were bamboozling me.

Look at this. It's a spaceship. That's a triangle, asshole. I mean, I guess kind of a spaceship. Well, you didn't buy me the set, and so I used what I had. You know? Do you remember how aggravating that was when like you'd have a friend over and they and you'd have like your lego sets and all that like much when you're much younger and you'd like pull out your custom made tie fighter or something

because your parents didn't buy you the real tie fighter and so you had to like go through and figure out like how am i gonna get two panels like this without the pieces and you have to like fucking dig around and find them, and eventually you get it. And then your friend comes over and is like, oh, that's pretty neat. I have the real one, and then they, like, show that off. I don't know. He's got fucking Darth Vader in him. That one memory is in my head.

He has, like, a glass cockpit. Well, poor Taylor and his disadvantaged youth. Yes, yeah. I got my monkey to destroy his TIE Fighter, and all went well in the world. No, I had great great toys for the most part don't you wish you could go back to that time I don't know if you guys were as into

action figures as I was as a kid it seems like there's little things with kids where it's like they either really really like costumes or they really really like the action figures where it's like they either like dressing up like Davy or they really, really like the action figures. Where it's like they either like dressing up like Davy Crockett and swinging the axe around or whatever it is.

Or they like all the figurines of Davy Crockett and Ninja Turtle. I liked all that shit. Everybody. I loved all the – there was nothing better than 50 of them. So I was He-Man himself, but then I had all my action figures, and I would have them fight each other. So they would be like – I had the little green army men of course they'd get in on it but then like Skeletor would be there and like there'd be like a shadow

cat and there'd be like the ninja turtles they'd pile in in their van and they'd be fighting against all the evil characters and I'd have them all out on the floor and I'd be like yeah and then Skeletor fucking like hits this guy with his sword and that guy's dead now. And I'd like put on this whole little war.

But then, of course, I would run around the house and I had my He-Man Master of the Universe sword. And when you hit stuff with it, it went – it like made a sound effect like of the smashing. And so I'd run around and I'd – and completely naked, four years old. And I'd hold the sword above my head like Dolph Lundgren does in the movie, and I'd go, I have the power of the universe! And then I'd smash the fucking dining room table, and like

knock the shit all off of it, and like and I'd hear and I'd run like hell, because Skeletor had discovered me, and it's gone. Looking back, some of my playing with toys was like a little macabre like i had something i used to do where like i was i wasn't four i was probably like eight or something and my parents had the those stairs like a just regular two-story stairs over an atrium and so they were those stairs where it

wasn't solid there was like a gap in between all the stairs as you walk up, you know, and I would set it up like on every stair. There would be a new boss that this that the hero, whoever it was that day, would have to fight with like his, you know, you know, troop of whatever. And as they went up the stairs, so it's like 20 bosses. And I'd always put my favorite bad guy at the top, usually Bane or something else, and he would usually win. But after the boss was defeated, I don't know why I did this. I would take string and pretend that my hero, having subdued the villain, was now tying it around his neck and then would hang him from the back of the stair and he would just dangle there almost like a warning to the others that you know yeah look what's gonna happen to you and so by the end if the hero was

victorious it would be a whole staircase of slightly spinning and hanging action figures by their neck with string and it was was like, in my head, I'm like, yeah, what a badass. And now I'm thinking, what the fuck? Why did I hang them? I just imagined your dad opening the door to your room and looking at it and seeing that and be like, yeah, he's hanging them again. He's hanging them. And this is like the same age where my dad was like all right taylor baseball

practice again soccer practice again and i'd go out there for soccer and baseball and just be like a fairy just like not doing anything and like playing with bugs and i just every night he had to be like oh jesus christ until eventually like he got me into hockey and i guess after like one practice of that he's like oh oh we got it we got it nothing like no more baseball for you no more hanging action figures in your room buddy you know we're putting you in hockey i got sent outside like you guys talking about like all these things you did oh yeah oh no me like the things that i did as a kid we used to go there were like woods a couple houses down and then behind them the wood started and we would build four tree houses dude from like four to twelve so at four you were you were sent away like yard like in the forest three yeah i was i was sent off with a high heel imprint on his lap and then that night you come

and bed down in the shed and that little dugout spot the blankets throw down in it yeah even at three i was off. My neighborhood was not complicated. There were just sort of two roads. And I could find my way home. And I remember, I have distinct memories of this. I would go to places and I'd meet people. My language skills were so bad, they couldn't

understand me yet. So my brother might have to translate as I'm roaming the neighborhood back in the day. What are you saying, little buddy? Your shins hurt? You can't see the bruises under the clothes? What's he saying? We used to go in the woods and build forts.

We'd build tree houses. No, son. I don't know how to calculate an interest rate for you. Why do you ask? Why is this four-year- old asking me about interest? Now, honey, take this seriously. Maybe we should let him in. He's clearly gotten in with the wrong crowd here.

Four years old and he's owning a Vig. I just go outside and get poison ivy. I still remember. We had three distinct different sets of woods. One was by a horse farm. One was really local. Not as cool, though. And one was way out in the distance.

And there were swamps and catfish and shit like that. Yeah. I loved playing in the woods, too. That was an activity that really did go from like six years old to like 14 or whatever or like it really went up until girls became your number one priority instead of like making fake weapons and fighting with your friends and building forts that's what we did and uh what we used to do which is like put sheets up as fort walls and so we could like move sheets so we airsoft it wasn't sheets it was like plastic we'd find like discarded discarded from a construction site. And we'd start using that as the wall liner and things like that.

We had this really clever idea that if we built a tall wall in 90 degrees, like two sides of a log cabin, then provided it was a windy storm, there'd always be a side you could take shelter on. Huh. I remember that our well to be fair we weren't 100 involved or you know concerned with the aesthetics of these forts it was more just will this stop a bb from hitting me well we're pretending to be army men yeah then all right just throw the sheet up and you could see through the woods from one of our neighbors houses like on the other side of the woods and they could see through and see our fucking taupe or white sheets or whatever. And they actually called my parents and complained.

And were like, your son and his friends have a horribly ugly sheet up in the woods behind our homes, and we can see it from our window, from our kitchen window. We can see through the forest and see your son's fort i want it taken down and and i i remember my dad coming to me with that that information as like an 11 year old of like like 12 maybe you know you gotta go take that fort down like what why the johansons they can see

it from their kitchen i'm like what but is that their land like they can't say he's like no no actually that's nobody's land yeah you don't have to do that and I was like so I keep it he's like yeah actually yeah alright have fun alright fuck it make it bigger

you need help with your fort son that's what spray paint decorate that for yeah draw a swastika, don't you? Yeah, just like in the den. Yeah, above Grandpa's picture. Yeah. Wow.

If you found out that one of your relatives was a Nazi, like a high-ranking Nazi or something, and they had a bunch of, like, legit historical shit. No, not Jewheads. Not Jewheads, Kyle. something and they had a bunch of like legit historical shit um no not jew heads not jew heads kyle that's a way worse angle than what i was i'm just hoping they've got some jew gold to pass down the teeth isn't that a thing but they've got the wehrmacht thing they've got their their nazi star whatever it is like their their luger their like their uniform maybe what do you do with it like what would you do if you found a Lexar? You know what?

My opinions on that have changed. I used to think just ownership of Nazi memorabilia made you a terrible person. Like it's – this is my old thought process. I used to think that that meant that you wish that they had succeeded and that this was a thing. Now it's actually like fascinating historical memorabilia to me. Like these people, I especially think losing sides of war might be more interested than winning sides, right?

That's the sides with the real hunger and scarcity. There's a point at the end of the war where one side is just rolling over the other. And the role is the side that I find interesting. And are they fighting even though they know they're not just losing, but going to lose? You know, what is the mindset in these trenches as they see people die for a cause that's already lost? And well, the cause might be, you know, there's different there's different versions of losing. Right. Like Hirohito got to hang around because those guys stayed and died on those islands.

Yeah. I mean like and it's also like there's so much interpretation of it if you come into my living room and there's an enormous swastika flag hanging up and it's like the focal point of the room you're gonna be like you know what i don't think you're just a history enthusiast like i think you probably really like what that stands for but if you have like a box or something or a display case or something with historical shit, and it's like, look at this. See this? This is a Nazi medal with a swastika from 1941.

That's just cool. It's like, whoa. Think of where this has been. Think of who has held it. Think of the people who have held this and handed it out. What was going on in the minds of people as they held it, right? Yeah. Some guy might have gotten some sort of Nazi memorabilia and felt tremendous honor and pride.

And that, like, is upside down to me. And I find that fascinating. You know, I have a Mosin-Nagant. It's Russian. And I forget when it was built, but I want to say, like, either 1938 or 1941, something like that. And I'm like, man, like, that war, I think it was 1938, because I have to say like either 1938 or 1941, something like that. And I'm like, man, like that war, I think it was 1938 because I have in my head the war went on for years afterwards. And knowing that there was a shortage of Mosin Nagants and that this thing was Russian, it's very likely, I think, that it was actually in World War II.

If you look at the color of the wood, you'd be able to tell where it was made because they used, as you might imagine, you know, they used wood that was sourced often locally so like if it's a certain color you can tell like where it was made um and then of course it's stamped on the top of the year and everything like that yeah stuff like that's interesting to me um that there's three things i would like i'd like an ss officer's cap you know with the skull on it uh like from that bit you know are we the baddies i'd love one of those because those things are fucking legit um a hitler youth knife you know the the dagger with the white handle with the swastika that would be cool and a luger like a uh one of those luger nine nine mil pistols that'd be cool too like that that moza nagana i have i i sometimes think like i bet there was a young man very frightened in some sort of building or ditch or whatever clinging to this gun for his life you know firing it in hopes that he wasn't going to

die like someone had high emotions when they held this thing and maybe they did well maybe they bashed a german woman in the head with it and raped her if that's what's doing well is maybe maybe well it's better than cowering in the in the in the in the gully or whatever you never know but maybe yeah maybe he was that guy from enemy at the gates you know there's almost certainly some evil on that gun you have is what we're getting at yeah one way or another but the evil is what is part of what makes it historically interesting like if somebody showed you like hey here's a thimble used by a normal citizen from germany in 1931 you'd be like i don't care i don't care does it here's a thimble used by a normal citizen from Germany in 1931, you'd be like, I don't care.

Does it look like other thimbles? Yeah, cool. Neat. Is the sewing kit here? Whatever. But this, the fact that it represents such evil is what makes it intriguing. It's because you're getting to look at a situation from a totally different context as to what it was forged and made in. And you get to see all the ramifications of the decisions that were made because of what this represents you know like it's interesting and

just like you don't like i would want like stalinist or maoist stuff too doesn't mean i like communism like communism's evil and sucks but like if you had like a cool hammer and sickle metal where he's like you know giving it to the best uh remaining farmer that he didn't you know ship into a gulag for for you know be too successful but like they'd be neat i'd like to transport myself into the mines i went to someplace out west i forget where but they were like hey native american indians used to wash their clothes right here and you saw like a riverbank with rocks or something and you can imagine like oh that's how they this is where they cleaned it and again it was all women doing it and

i'm like wow like what was going on in the heads of this women with these were some of them pregnant and like struggling to get this done were they hungry how how thriving was this society were people sick did lots of people die early like it here's just it is to me anyway so long ago and so different from my own life that i found that fascinating and the the same is true with World War II memorabilia. I think that stuff's cool. When I was in Texas, they had those Allosaurus footprints there next to the water. And they were like, yeah, there was a major river system here.

And we think that these two Allosaurus were hunting something and crossing the river. And I'm like, really? You think they were hunting something? Couldn't they have just been staggering drunk after eating a bunch of fermented berries? He's like, well, that's kind of a reach isn't it i'm like yeah it is think about it like you're the one who says they're on a hunt couldn't they have been drinking that's what i would do by a water source what i was getting at is like it's ridiculous to infer anything from saying i said a balasaurus footprints from 30 or 8 million years ago or whatever the fuck it was it's the same thing as like uh astronomy or i guess uh what are the constellations is the

better thing to say where it's like you start out with just a big mess of a bunch of dots and then you just backwards engineer to whatever you had in mind before now hang on like i just put in my head like all right um a guy shooting an arrow, riding a bull, with Beats by Dre on his head. And I just look up at the sky and I can trace that. You're wrong, Kyle. The only other people who look like anything. I'll give you the big difference. So look, so every group of people throughout time has come up with oftentimes different ideas of what they see up there.

And oftentimes it goes back to their culture or whatever. Maybe they'll see coyotes or rabbits. But there are a few things that every culture is always like, yeah, that looks like a scorpion. Or that looks like a man with a bow. Can we name one? A man with a bow, you say? Is that one? Or is that just a hypothetical kind of?

I don't know the constellations very well. But I'm thinking that would be Orion with Orion's belt. No, Orion the Hunter. That's what it is. Oh, let me find it. Here's a couple real good ones. Here's this page.

The Pleiades, I believe. It's just a blog, but it just shows the overlay of what people pretend is there versus what's actually there. This is just like in ninth grade when they're like, what did you learn from To Kill a Mockingbird? And you just had to make shit up because it was just a boring book with not a lot of interesting parts. You didn't like To Kill a Mockingbird?

I did not at all. This is a man with a bow. That is a hammered Greek in 320 BC. They go, hey, Sophocles, what do you make of that? Ah, you know, that's the man with the bow. And it's like, well, it's not. But nobody's arguing Sophocles. I don't see it.

I mean, I feel like with that many dots, I could connect the dots and make all sorts of things. I could make a crab. I could make a dude with a bow. I could make a hot chick with that a dude with a bow i could i i could make a hot chick with that many dots but that's what it is is that like there are so and back then back then there wasn't as much light pollution and shit and so you could see way more stars you know so they had even more options of just imagining something and then just tracing

it up there and the reason that you can immediately explain it to someone i think and have them be able to look up there and see it is because like it's like seeing waldo you know once you've seen it you know where he is like once someone walks you through and they say and that one's that and that one's that and that's that that that that now just imagine it right and like oh okay now i kind of i see it now that you say it but it's like that nobody ever looks at it and goes man what a perfect bull's head. It's like an artist drew it. Like an artist drew it. And that artist is Gowd.

There's clearly a random bunch of dots. I didn't know Kyle was such a fan of both Stars and To Kill a Mockingbird. Yeah, I like both of those things. Two of my favorite things. I really like the movie a lot.

Remember, that's Duvall's first performance, I think. He plays Boo Radley. You finally get to see him at the end. He shows himself. He looks all pale and shit. I like that To Kill a Mockingbird always gets thrown out there when liberals say something like, you should always believe a rape victim.

And it's like, really? Here's an example where we definitely shouldn't no kyle that doesn't happen ever i i yeah i was actually having this argument with my daughter today or debate i guess over lunch and uh she was like you know like i don't know where the number comes from but she's like 97 of the time the rape victim is telling the truth i'm like that's not good enough you have to prove it you gotta prove it you gotta prove it like anything else you also can't possibly know that statistic right like you could it's him no you can't ever know that but i didn't knock her for that but but it's it's more like you know look if i say someone stole something from me someone damaged my car someone you know knocked down my door

somebody hit me in every one of these cases it's like prove it was him that i always think it's weird that like the people who argue against your position in that they pretend like we live in a culture where the first thing that people do is like defend rapists when it's like no like the one crime that more than anything people go yeah he's probably guilty look at that piece of shit look at that rapist look at that you know dirty scumbag like that crime is rape like if someone is accused of i've heard multiple people say like i'd rather be accused of murder than rape because if you get accused of murder people are going to be like yeah who knows he may have done it he may have not we'll have to wait till the facts come out

someone goes he's a rapist everyone goes yeah he probably is because no one wants to be associated with even giving little bits of empathy to a potential rapist because that is the level of horror that people have in our society towards rape. Like we abhor it. It's so horrible. There are rape cultures on Earth. This isn't one of them. Yeah, this is the least rape culture of anywhere on the planet. Western civilization. That's probably true. I hadn't thought about it yeah yeah um but like in india sometimes guys get away with it

and it's terrible i think that's changing uh maybe they get away with it a ton in the middle east uh it's even worse right maybe there was some sort of amazonian culture where the women were bigger and more powerful physically that no that didn't wait are you are you are you is this like a thing you're saying like there was a tribe like this now obviously there was no tribe where women were bigger than men I've melted into the DC Universe over here we're talking about wonder we're talking about Wonder Woman now no no no okay no superhero talk I'm kidding you can talk about super I don't want to

talk about superheroes let's um I did what was I gonna talk about oh fucking Conor McGregor and Floyd Mayweather on. Fight is on. Both of them making over $100 million. They're fighting with fucking 10-ounce gloves. It's going to be fun to watch. I think that a win would be going the distance against Mayweather. How much is 10-ounce?

I don't know. What does boxing normally use? It's four in MMA. 16-ounce gloves is what I use, but I'm... I think those are training gloves. Those are training gloves, yeah. I don't know because

different size boxers use different gloves and I've never kept up with boxing. I don't know. I was just curious. I'm trying to set up where, like, Floyd Mayweather loves 10-ounce gloves. 10-ounce gloves is the most commonly worn in professional boxing mounts.

The later weight classes might wear eight. Okay. So there it is. So they're fighting at 154 pounds. What do they both usually fight in? Like, who's closer? I know that's right in Conor's wheelhouse. He has the titles of 145 and 55.

Yeah, Floyd has fought at a couple different weights over the years, but that's kind of right in his wheelhouse, too. Like, 154 is going to be just fine. Yeah. Yeah, I think Conor's bigger. They're both going to be comfortable. Conor's bigger, yes. I saw a picture today where they made Floyd.

They may have shown a picture of like floyd's dad but he had like the hat on sideways and they pretended like it was him and like stuck the article together and it was like you know connor taking on floyd and i was like god damn floyd mayweather looks 60 not 40 and then i was like ah they're fucking with me they're fucking with me and then i was doing that he um i think it was his instagram he's like i'm getting ready to fight floyd and it was him and floyd's father like I'm getting ready to fight Floyd. And it was him and Floyd's father juxtaposed next to each other. And then he did another one where he's like, I'm really proud of Floyd. I hope that I can still train when I'm his age.

He's in phenomenal shape. I hope that he – He's so wise. Once they get that contract sewed up, I hope he brings out the big guns and goes after the fact that that motherfucker can't read. All right? he brings out the big guns and goes after the fact that that motherfucker can't read. He needs to be the whole time singing the ABCs to him or something like that.

He needs to be fucking mocking that man for not being able to read the whole time. Yeah, the contract negotiations were hard. Motherfucker couldn't read. I thought he was a speaking spell. I hope he does. Dude, the build-up to this fight is going to be the best build-up we've ever seen.

And the fight itself is going to be so blurry. I was reading about this. So Connor makes a lot of money for fighting. Maybe in excess of $10 million for some of his biggest ones. But he's making $100 million this time. You could argue Floyd Mayweather changed his bum life, which is a

thing he says about all his opponents. I'll change your bum life. I'll fix your bum life for you. And that's not bad. That's the best accent I've ever done. But, yeah, Floyd Mayweather is changing his bum life. He's going to get $100 million, that's rumored. But that's incredible.

Everyone who is an expert in boxing, and I'm not one of them, says that Conor has no chance and i watched connor spar against a guy who was like the 20th best like top 20 guy eight months ago what'd you say that was eight months ago though and he's been practicing ever since i i don't know in my head eight months is nothing right you know i think floyd mayweather is gonna win pretty handily, I would think. They're doing his sport. Shit that Conor crushes with an MMA, like the lean back was one thing they were talking about. Conor does this lean back thing to sort of give a false impression of the distance, and then he closes it and counters.

The good boxers just jab him in the face and it's like that is not tricky to me that is checkers and i play chess yeah i know that you can't use your feet so i'm not worried about it yeah that's a thing too you know like a lot of the stuff that a lot of the fighting style that connor of course has had to adapt needs to make him not susceptible to takedowns and worry of kicks. When those weapons are gone, the footwork changes. All the experts say Conor has no shot. Stance changes. I want Conor

to win. I guess I'm coming from the MMA side. We should bet on this thing. We should bet on the fight some. I definitely am. I'm going to definitely place 100 on Conor to win and then probably, like, another $100, $200 on Conor to go the distance. I think if you bet on Conor to win right now, if you bet $100, you take back $700.

I think that's the deal. It's been like $700 or $800, yeah, has been the line, I think. That sounds fun. That'll make the fight a lot of fun to watch uh where will we buy it where will the pay-per-view exist is that i because i've never bought a floyd mayweather fight is i don't know where you buy his bites being run by showtime pay-per-view i've never bought showtime pay-per-view before that's it okay but i hope they have a web stream i don't know how it works exactly i'm almost positive that like what i will do is download the showtime app and then click pay-per-view

and get through or something yeah yeah yeah yeah so yeah and that sounds good i've never done it before but that sounds like it would work i think i have man i it's and it's august 28th it's August 28th. Somehow I thought that if this fight did happen, it was going to happen like eight months away from the agreed-on time. August 28th, is that three months from now? It's July. Two months from now. Two months and two weeks, roughly. So that's like, that's not forever.

That's 10 weeks. Fight camp. He's about to begin his fight camp, right? It's time to start getting ready. I mean, what they've been saying is he's been getting ready. He's been turning himself into a boxing. I want him to win so badly. Dude, if he wins this fight, it really elevates him to just a...

Win or lose, Conor wins, right? He can't lose this fight unless it's just a complete whooping and an embarrassment. But if he were to knock Floyd Mayweather at it, really his star just goes into the stratosphere, the amount of money that he's going to be able to command back in MMA if he chooses to. What if he retires? What if he wins and retires? In Conor's early days as a UFC fighter, he wasn't making big dollars, right? He'd get good bonuses and stuff.

But the $50,000 of the night bonus, the performance of the night, knockout of the night, meant a lot to him. That was like, dude, instead of making 60 grand this fight, I'm making 110 this fight. Like, I'm freaking rolling in dough. 110 grand now to him is not even that big a deal. He spends that like nothing.

He always said, though, he's like even way back in his like doing good days instead of doing great days. He's like the way to do the sport is you don't want to get your head knocked off. You get in, you get rich, you get out. This could very well be Conor's last fight, win or lose. He's getting 100 million million for this thing. He might never defend a UFC belt in his life. He will have to be motivated by something

that's not money. I think at $100 million, I think he likes the fame. I think he likes the fame and he'll keep getting more famous. I'm looking forward to this fight. I know he likes being in shape. I know a big part of his identity is how fit he is,

like his sense of self-worth. When he fought at 170 with Nick, he was pissed he didn't have the abs that he likes to have. So there's a motivation. He might want to be that fit. He likes training. Joe Lozon was talking about, they were asking him about retiring, and he's like, I love training. I love going to the gym all the time. I and he's like I love training I love going to the gym all the time I love getting better I love staying fit I

think Connors got some of that same wiring that that might be part of his motivation I don't know but it won't be money I might be sure like you can never have enough he's not gonna it let's let's say yeah no no if it let's say it is a hundred million you know he's got to pay fucking taxes i don't know what those irish taxes are they probably stink uh you know maybe he walks away with this only being worth a total of 50 million dollars that's probably not enough for him he's going to want another 100 million dollar payday you know if he could if he could if he's praying to god and asking for something it's lord let me, let me win. And let this become a trilogy.

Like, I want to be a billionaire. Like, that motherfucker wants to be a billionaire. He would love it if, like, he wins this thing or, like, goes the distance and there's a need for a second Mayweather fight. And then a third. And he's just cha-ching, cha-ching until, like I said, he's a billionaire. A $50 million net worth might not be his final goal in life. He might really want to reach for the stars here. He seems to spend the money.

He comes into this fight being worth at least $10 or $15 million. I don't know. He spends so much. He could be broke or he could be worth $50. He could be worth $60 or $65 million. And I just, I don't know. Does he could be worth $50 million. Being worth $60 or $65 million. And I just... I don't know. Does he live in Ireland?

He does. So then it's... Like, this may sound silly, but I'm pretty sure $50 million in Ireland is going to go way, way further than $50 million in most parts of the U.S., right? I'm not sure. Or not.

Because they use the euro. Or are they on the pound now? Or the lucky charm? I have no idea. Or not, because they use the euro. Or are they on the pound now? Or the lucky charm? I have no idea. Blarney. Oh, that'll be three red balloons. I don't know. I just know the guy.

And a new moon. I've never seen Lucky Clovers. Because I'm going by Cisco. At Cisco, when I worked there in the early years, the stock went up. Cisco was actually the second most valuable company in the world. It was like the Apple of its day. I didn't even know. I never knew that they were that big at some point. They were. They were behind. Like Microsoft at the time? No, we were bigger than Microsoft. But we were behind GE. And anyway, I would work with people and it was like they popped, you know, like I played ping work with people, and it was like they popped.

You know, like I played ping pong with a guy, and he's like, you know what? Today I became a millionaire. It happened. You know, stock went up another $2, and now I'm worth a million. And it's like, fuck. Like, you know, and Cisco would have classes for their managers on how to teach people or how to manage people who weren't motivated by money anymore. I had a guy, my, not my manager, but like a friend of mine, his manager, the guy bought like $350,000 speakers for his, uh, for his mansion. And it was just like,

it baffled me. I'm like, how, how much better are $350,000 speakers than like $150,000 speakers? What is the gap here that made you spend that much on speakers? It was outrageous. You don't know about the wheelbarrow full of cocaine that's in the safe in the basement. These are just fucking bows. Got them from SkyMall. Yes, so there were people who were just so rich that you know like i i i had a co-worker he wasn't particularly good but his um employee number was three digits like he was old school

and he drove a lexus and he had a house to dream of and i in my head i'm like what are you even doing here like so he was was he like someone who i don't know how cisco like eventually had their ipo but was he someone who was like so early on that when they did have their initial public offering he was like ground floor and then he was basically like all right well pretty great not that early they were already public like he wasn't pre-ipo but cisco just kept doubling and it seemed like twice a year they'd have stock splits like it was just you know this is like dot-com boom and and uh they would always be like yeah you know when the gold rush came it wasn't the miners that got rich it was the people selling picks and shovels that's cisco that's it and uh they were like certain things if you were the whores dot com yeah like wacko startup company

they would certify you like are you running sun stuff are you running cisco stuff are you running like this operating system that's how we can tell if you're for real or not and uh anyway yeah cisco was just popping but uh yeah anyway i so back to connor like i've worked with a lot of people who got so rich that money wasn't their motivation anymore. So I have to believe Connor's going to be there. That's the old-timey profession that I would take up. You go back in time to a time where a lot of current professions don't exist,

but on the bright side, a lot of the old ones now do, like cobbler, for example. Not that I want to be a cobbler. Yeah, that would be so far down on my list. I think pimp would be the one, right? Oh, that still exists. Come on down to St. Louis at night. You're from Atlanta.

Come on. Those pimps suck. Those pimps suck. It's the third largest industry. I'm talking about a pimp like in Deadwood. Remember in Deadwood? Like a pimp like that guy, right? Like where you're just a,

you own this fucking joint and you got like 30 fucking whores. You're like a brothel master more than a pimp. that guy right like where you're just a you own this fucking joint and you got like 30 fucking whores like a brothel master a brothel master exactly that that's yeah i don't know what the the name for that is like a little finger type character um you know something like that i feel like that would be the way a complete uh a complete degenerate evil person in a lot of situations that yeah yes yeah the the provider of pussy to all of those disgusting horribly dirty men who like i i always think about that when i watch those old west movies i have a lot of empathy for prostitutes and old west things because i always watch and my first thought is like they're always wearing like their buxom push their tits up and like

leaning on the the organ as the guy like like doing the whole thing and people walk in to pay for them and they're still fucking filthy they're disgusting their hands they've got gnarled up there's those like thick minor fingernails coating you should mention that they're just stinky and dirty and they have to go fuck that guy no they don't even have showers no they did they said they'd have a base in there and you'd say excuse me miner would you mind washing your hair and beard and hands a bit before we we go for a little tussle in the uh the hay as it were and they would and then after a while they would check the bottom of those basins and you'd have gold because every time those those miners were uh where you'd offer a free shower and wash and everything because you collect the gold dust. Oh man, that is

that's a really good idea. But how much gold dust is getting in their hair? Over time there's tons, tons. And at the bar what they would do is they would often pay with a pinch of gold and they would put holes in the slats of the floorboard down there and below would be a collection basin

where they'd go after a while and take the floorboards up, and there'd be a thing full of gold dust down there they had collected because they're paying with a pinch of gold or whatever. That's a really good idea. Man, these are things I did not know. I've been planning my old-timey whorehouse for a long time. Did you figure out time travel?

As the health code guy is trying to tell Kyle, like, sir, you really need to have running water. You can't have them bathed out of a basin. You realize that's a huge violation. It's like, I'm very much into the time period piece of this, sir. We're going to do it my way. If a couple more cases of Hep C break out, it's worth it for the authenticity.

My customers pay for authenticity. Basin is necessary. Yeah, that's, I don't like that. Oh, it's in that show we watched with the authenticity. My customers pay for authenticity. Basin is necessary. Yeah, that's... I don't like that in... Oh, it's in that show we watched with the Vikings. Where, it's like the... I don't know if they actually did this in Nordic societies or whatever, but all the Vikings

pre-battle or whatever are passing around a big wooden bowl that's full, like a basin basically, full of water. And what they're doing is they're taking some of it, throwing it on their face, and then they go with both their nose and blow the snot out of both of their nose into the bowl. Then they pass it to another

guy who puts some on his hands and then blows his snot into the bowl. And they're like, I'm watching this pass around. And I was like, is this real? Is this a real thing that these people used to do? I want to go first. Like, yeah, you'd want to go first. And I didn't. Oh, no, no, no. I'll fill the basin.

No, no, no. I don't mind. Or like it gets to you and you're like, oh, no. There you go. There you go. I've dropped the basin. You got a head cold, huh? It's fine, guys.

I'll just refill it. You know, start over. Yeah, I wanted to see what that was. And I couldn't find anything online. But it was such a specific thing for like a historical show that I had a hard time believing that. Now are you talking about the Vikings on the History Channel or are you talking about

the fucking shithead from Bebbanburg that we've been watching on Netflix? Last Kingdom. I think this might have been. Vikings. This might have been the show Vikings because they kind of blended together for me but I really, I'm excited for the new Last Kingdom season. Well you're a year away

because, you know, season two had just had dropped when I sort of, like, bumped you guys into it. That was the brand new season. Oh, shit. That's why I was excited. Yeah, so you got like a year. I got an AMA question. This one's for me. Woody, what are your paramotor goals currently? And when will you see you make a

video with Tucker Gott? Do you think he'd be a good guest for PKA? I realize this one's just me and this paramotor talk, but goals currently, I've got three. One, I want to do more cross-country stuff, go a little further, do more like do a thing on the other side adventures. Two, I'm getting better at acrobatics. And the third one's not really paramotor, but I want to get better at weather. I want to become like better at meteorology. I'm learning that all the time. Tucker Gott is awesome. People probably don't know. He's kind of running the show.

He's the biggest YouTube paramotor guy. And I know him. I'm not super close with him or anything, but I've hung out with him a day or two in real life, been to dinner with him, things like that. I like Tucker. I root for good things for him to happen. And his girlfriend is awesome, too, and they're great together. Tucker lights up on camera. When he's by himself and he's talking to a camera, he is, I don't know, extrovert, outgoing, funny, and excited. In a group, Tucker's actually a really quiet guy. He's more of a listener than a talker. And I fear that that's not perfect for pka that that he would be um more more passive yeah yeah right like sometimes we've had plenty of guests on the show that become almost spectators instead of like you know oh you

think fucking pigs is funny way to hear about fucking pandas i don't think he'd be that other guy so like i i like him i want to do some videos with him but i don't think he'd be that other guy. I like him. I want to do videos with him, but I don't know that on PKA he would light up. I'm not sure. Yeah, it's such a niche topic that he might... Sometimes people who... It seems like

people who are in very niche communities, they feel like they have to stay in their little wheelhouse on shows instead of like... If we talked about to your, the eloquent example of pig fucking, if we brought that up, like someone who was just like a hardcore gamer or video player of some kind might be like,

Oh, well I'm not getting involved in this. I just play fucking, uh, sieve or something like it would be like, it's filthy. It would only talk about sieve, but he doesn't,

he jumps into other shit, but like, that's what it would be like is if someone just stayed in their wheelhouse you know who did a good job of not the sailing lavagabond guys it was fun because we had they did do a good job apparently i can't pronounce her name but you have elena who was like lina lina yeah and she was kind of put off by some of the i think we might have been watching porn with her or something like you know like like out there stuff but riley like he was one of the gang instantly yeah he didn't mind one bit and neither did she because you know he was you know being the the older one and the guy in the

relationship kind of is like the the director of how things are going and so she just was reading how he responded as long as he's having a good time and laughing it's it's you know a wonderful time because otherwise if it was just her and we were talking about pig fucking it would come off a little bit gauche and like i didn't feel like she was like pulling up her sleeves and doing the whole like oh you like pigs you should hear about guinea pigs it's really just a girl thing, but I'll explain. Have you ever tried and fucked a roo? Roos are a nasty fuck. Punch it right in the back of the head. Of course I'm talking about them being top.

We should have them back on again. Let's do fitness talk real quick. Do you know your current weight? I haven't since I weighed on Sunday and that was 205. I'm saying 206. No change. 205.5, saying 206. So, like, no change.

205.5, 206. Roughly me too. So I hit 206 yesterday as I recorded this, and I was 206 again today. So I'm calling that my new weight. And that mostly covers it. I was thinking about this. I'm like, there's different levels of look, right? And I was categorizing it this way.

You've got people who look good naked. That's the's the goal you got people who look good with clothes on that's the next goal and then you've got people who just don't look good yeah yeah i feel like i've gone from that last guy to that middle guy you know i've gone from there really is no outfit aside from maybe a suit which can fix a lot of things, to a guy, like, you know what? I feel like I'm looking pretty good with clothes on at this point. I've got shirts that hang off my chest, and the belly part just kind of sways in the breeze. Yeah, a big thing with that is not having to worry anymore about, like,

you know where you put on, like, a T-shirt, and you can feel in the back when you're fat, and you're like, oh, I can feel my love handles pushing a little bit on the fabric itself. And it's like even if the shirt fits right in your shoulders or your chest or wherever, you'd be like, well, I guess I'm going to look like a sloppy idiot because I have to get two sizes up to hide these fucking ham hocks that I'm sneaking around back here. That is always my barometer of when I feel like I'm getting in better shape is when I put on a shirt and I turn to the side and I don't notice any of that poofery through the shirt on the love handle. And I'm still at a stage where if the shirt sways or something, it can show an unflattering bulge or something. But by and large, I think I'm at a spot now where I look good with clothes on. I don't think I've been this light since I bought this house. Like I was thinking about it.

I gained some weight during like when we bought the house, we remodeled it. And I just like sat in the guest house, ate fast food every lunch and monitored the construction for months. And that was terrible for me. And it was at a stage where I'd come home and do woody crap all night and I wasn't being healthy. So, yeah, I think this is the fittest I've been since we bought the house. And I'm almost halfway. I'm down 14 pounds. I aspire't being healthy. So yeah, I think this is the fittest I've been since we bought the house. And I'm almost halfway. I'm down 14 pounds. I aspire to lose 30.

So one more midpoint. That's good. And yeah. I'm wearing my medium shirts. I always like when that happens. It opens the wardrobe up substantially. I've got a couple of them I can't wear yet because they're just really tight fitting,

even at medium. And they're kind of fitted, I guess. know my leather my leather cowl and such surprised you can wear any mediums but since you're tall like yeah absolutely well it depends on the cut it depends it depends on the cut and exactly what they are um polos uh like like uh lacoste and uh and uh ralph lauren and uh calvin klein uh like slim fit is usually like long enough even in a Like Lacoste and Ralph Lauren and Calvin Klein. Slim fit is usually long enough even in a medium to span the gap, I guess. I have to be feeling pretty confident before I jump into a slim fit shirt. Slim fit can be, I know exactly the kind of shirt you're talking about,

like those polo or whatever slim fit uh collared shirts that look so nice if you're in good shape and like they hang on your shoulders well and they're like oh like because they they cinched your arms really good those kind of polos so like even if you don't have big arms it always looks like you have pretty big arms because it's cinched around there but if you were a slim fit and you're not prepared with your body for that slim fit, you look like a delusional sausage. You look like, yeah, you're just delusional. Oh, you see that guy all the time. They usually have a popped collar. They have a popped collar.

Their hair is really short on the side and like spiky up top. And they're, you know, they kind of bounce around when they move because like ever relaxing would like. They always got to be like, yeah, I'm good good bro i'm good bro i'm not really out of breath yeah but like yeah you're right the ratio of people who shouldn't be wearing slim fit shirts to the people who should be wearing slim fit shirts it's out of control like four out of five people i see wearing a slim fit shirt have no business in that slim fit shirt yeah i think man i'm talking about already i i'm not ready for slim fit i aspire to be i didn't but i tried one the other day and i was like this well it was a little bit encouraging and a little bit not because it was a shirt from a few years ago when i had

lost and i was down to like 174 or something like that a couple years ago and it was like picture you sent me is it no no i was down like 174 and i looked weird at like 174 i was way i was a little too thin i looked like gangly and uh and i put on that shirt just like a couple days ago and i felt good because like my arms weren't fitting in it and like my shoulders were busting out of it but my gut like if I took a picture of just from here down and sent it to someone, they'd be like, oh my god. I would get no matches if that were my Tinder pic. Nobody at all. I have a couple shirts I just wouldn't wear. I'd see them on the rack and be like, I feel like a sausage. A Stay Puft Marshmallow Man in that shirt.

I haven't tried them on yet though. There's a possibility that now they look good on me. Because a tight shirt can look good, right? Like, I think it was last week Kyle was like, you know, I see that your arms are this and that. And in my head, I'm like, I think part of it is this shirt's just tighter than some of the bigger ones. So, yeah, I want to try it. And I've got this, again, paramotor talk, but I have this Icarus shirt. And there are tens of people who recognize how prestigious this thing is and i want to be able

to wear it and it was too small for me and it's going to start being right for me nice good i put on my uh my 36 fat jeans just to see uh earlier this week and once again very encouraging to put that on and like see where you were at one point where you're just like and it's not even just the waist size on them it's like the thigh size because I gain a lot of thigh fat I get a lot of ass and thigh fat

in my head my head and my face not head like oh my god my head but like my face gets fat head, not like oh my god, my head. But like my face gets fat so fucking quick. Like if I go to thin and then I put on six pounds, three of it is in the cheeks. Like it's just

so much, so quick. I hate that about myself. Because Kyle, you were saying, and I was jealous of this, you're like, oh yeah, when I get fat, it just goes to my belly or whatever. And then, because I've never noticed your face fat at all. Even when you go back to your old quote-un fat days i was showing that i was showing taylor like i was like yeah well right here i'm definitely fat he's like you're not fat you got a little double chin i'm like dude i feel so fat right there like i feel disgusting i remember that i remember looking at

myself and thinking this is this sucks after this i went on a like a starvation thing. You go to the next video, and I'm like... Like a giant mosquito attacked me during the break or something and sucked me fucking dry because it's just chubby. Don't like it. I definitely get the double chin, and I get chubby cheeks when I get to 195, 200 area, and that's never good for me at all. But usually it's love handles i'm like kyle

in that i can gain like let's say that 185 is a really good weight for me i can hit 200 and look pretty good and that's a blessing and a curse because if i looked pretty bad at 200 i might have stopped there but no i went to 220 at which point I felt like I looked really bad and now I have a lot of work to do to get to where I look really good because it yeah you know but yeah I said it all that's that's where I am yeah I'm glad we're all sticking to it I'm almost like getting less fixated on the weight of like losing weight and I'm really enjoying like almost like the visual comparison of like seeing myself like week to week, like, all right, yeah, I can see that muscles getting bigger. I can see I'm

getting better there. And so it's really like, I don't, I'm not a pro at this at all. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. But I feel like if I do, I don't know, like 1012 more weeks of what I'm doing, just increasing the weight, bumping up to those 50s, as soon as I feel like I'm able to, like, and then after that, I try and cut I'll get more more results yeah I feel like fat was a bigger problem for me than you like like you know you were like all right you know of my goals whatever 30 of it is reduced fat and 70 of it is increased muscle maybe for me they're flipped like I I think that when I look at the biggest problems I had it was about the fat it was just too much fat on me. So that's still – I like to think I've added some degree of muscle.

I know I'm fucking killing it on the kettlebells. I'm proud of it. Then you're adding muscle. Definitely. I have to be, yeah, because I'm using heavier weights and I'm doing more. And I've added more exercises and I've added push-ups. The first week, I did less and was really like kind of beat up and sore and my legs hurt to use. Now I can kick my ass and then I recover better.

And that's nice. So but yes, anyway, I still look at the scale. I like to think I've added some muscle. Maybe I've lost instead of 14 pounds, maybe I lost 15 pounds of fat and I added a pound of muscle i don't know but uh yeah well that's the way i think about it is like uh maybe you've lost you know 10 pounds of fat but you put on you know four of muscle or whatever i don't know how quickly you put on muscle it takes a long long time to put on muscle if you worked out like a fiend for a year and really over eight and it worked out you know three to five times a week you might put on three or four pounds of muscle

for a year no it's got to be more than that that can't be then how is like how did arnold get that body before he was 102 i said you arnold lived in a gym at one point in his life and yeah he did steroids that's surprising i feel like i've put on more than three pounds of muscle so far no Arlo lived in a gym at one point in his life and yeah, he did steroids. That's surprising. I feel like I've put on more than three pounds of muscle so far. Nope, you have not. Google. I'm googling it. How much muscle can you add in a year? 170 pound

intermediate fitness enthusiast can gain 10 to 15 pounds of muscle. That's a lot. 150 pound beginner fitness enthusiast can gain 10 to 15 pounds of muscle. That's a lot. 150 pound beginner fitness enthusiast can gain 18 to 27 pounds of muscle. I'm a beginner enthusiast. That's what I was thinking. Are you?

Yeah, because if you take a huge long break from it and then you come back, you're basically a beginner. Here's a guy who says one guy might do 15, but the average is still around 5 to 7 in a beginner. Oh, here's a guy who says one guy might do 15, but the average is still around five to seven in a year, which that's a little closer to my expectations. And I also wonder like, is being a beginner, is the first pound easier to add or is the seventh pound easier to add? Cause I have this notion that there's some beginner gains. Like if you take a sedentary guy,

which I think was an accurate description to me at the start of this, and then have him start like pounding the kettlebells and never missing a workout, doesn't he do a little better? Like doesn't he just – that wake up? I know certainly the output goes up. There's beginner gains there where you can work a little harder and your technique gets better. Well, like you build more muscle fibers and the muscle fibers you have become more efficient. Like the way they work together, that sort of like slip and ratchet motion that the muscle fibers have at like the microscopic level gets better. It gets better and more efficient as you use the muscle. Yeah.

That makes sense. That's interesting that it's only five to seven pounds on average. I bet a lot of it also is like just putting your muscles through stress a lot. It keeps it more in like that pump phase more often, you know, where like your arms are just like hard because you – Engorged. Like post-workout phase. Maybe someone who knows about this can leave a comment. I can notice little things.

I don't know. But I really should call that guru, the guy that wrote me with the outstanding uh handwriting he wrote me again and he's like i am positive i'll get you losing two pounds a week this is i think it as he wrote it i was losing one pound a week i lost two again this week just to be clear and um um and he's like text me and that text me was really interesting because something about the phone call like i don't know how to end it or i'm afraid i won't be charming in real life but texting i can text like let's do that yeah you know shoot me a diet uh so i i gotta reach out to him but yeah anyway i i'm i'm doing good i'm both losing weight and never missing a workout and uh my

clothes are fitting better and i'm good that is the kind of guest I'd like to have, like, soon, preferably, because we're all in a phase right now where, who knows, maybe a year from now we're all fat again and discussing doing this. Yeah, I'd be okay. Here's what I would like. I don't want a fitness expert. I don't want that because I think that 95% of them are liars or aren't or pretenders. I would rather have, because that's just the nature

of the business. They're all a bunch of snake oil salesmen and what better snake oil than your services to sell. Hey, you can't just buy this. You got to have me there all the time. Okay. So I think I would prefer to have someone who was or is like an athlete that really accomplished athlete.

Because the proof's in the pudding to me you you show me a guy who who like he's like yeah here's a here's me performing at peak human fitness levels okay all right i see you doing it now tell me how you did it whereas if you get some guy whose job is to teach people to do it he's like well i couldn't even begin to to tell you the the the short and the long of how you get there. But over the course of weeks working with me, I'm sure you're going to improve a lot. I can tell you, it's $22 an hour to get there.

Because we asked Joe Lozon about it, and he's like, I eat like a fat kid, lots of Chipotle's, work out constantly. And it's like, ah, well, but I don't think that's a formula that works for me. No, it's not. It'd be like asking Michael Phelps. Yeah, right?

Michael Phelps would be the way more extreme example. If you were like, oh, what do you do to stay in shape? Well, I eat 12,000 calories a day. And he doesn't do that. Oh, yeah, I forgot. I also swim for five hours in kind of cold water. So my body is just a machine of churning out calories. He swims more than that when he's training.

To be fair with Michael Phelps, there's some propaganda to that, right? Michael Phelps is a money-making, subway advertising machine. So sure, maybe one day during his peak training period, he's eating 12,000 calories. But I guarantee he's not doing that every day. Most days he's probably eating three to four times more than we do.

But he's not eating that silly, enormous amount of food they put on that table for NBC nbc are you telling me that some of these sports legends are exaggerated absolutely wayne gretzky didn't really drink uh diet coke and then a gatorade and then a water and eat a hot dog with mustard and relish between periods no that's true yeah and and of course boggs uh the chicken man ate a whole chicken before the game chicken man yeah that's why they call him the chicken man i i really like all those sports like superstitions they do speak the person that woody hates sydney crosby one of the reasons their team's able to be so fucking good is because of how superstitious that guy is he was born in 87

his number is 87 and instead of signing somewhere for like 14 15 million dollars a year he signed for a super long contract at 8.7 million dollars a year and that allowed them to stay under a cap and so really woody you should hate him even more than you know for letting Pittsburgh be good because of his stupid nods. Can you imagine being that superstitious if your favorite number was like 12 and they're like, we're going to pay you $16 million a year, and you're like, I prefer 12, thank you. The average Sidney Crosby opponent, funnily enough, has 8.7 fingers.

8.7 fingers. He makes sure of it. Mark Mathot over there is getting a little antsy with that ninth full finger. Time to take.3 of that off. That was fucked. I don't like that. I still don't. Who's that guy that I linked you to and then you linked me back to

the other night? Well, you got the big man. He's just game. Who is that guy? He was really funny. He was one of the flyers. Well, you have to be mad. It's game. Where is he playing now?

He's not in the league anymore. He got the boot because he just wasn't good enough anymore. It's not that he didn't make the league. He played like 450, 500 games in the NHL. And then it just got to the fact that he's like 36 now. So he's not useful as a goalie. Some goalies are older than that, like Lundqvist, I think.

But he just dropped off. But his interviews were the best. Because he got roasted all the time by Philly media. Because Philly media is really, really mean to their goalies. And he is so brutally honest in all the interviews sometimes. Where they'll be like, you know, he'll just be, you know, I try my best. You could shoot beach ball at me right now and I would not save it. You know, it's like our team is scoring.

We scored eight goals. We scored eight goals this game. We lose nine to eight. I mean, seriously. Like, it is 100% my fault. I'm just in a really, really bad place right now. And he just says that and you almost see the sadness

of it, of the reporters like, oh, oh, god damn, you poor guy. And then there are interviews of his he was getting his legs stretched by one of the trainers in something because they have to do that obviously to make sure that you're staying in shape. And he takes out a picture of some Chinese medicine

and just starts doing that thing. You know when a five-year-old's talking to you, and they're like, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then. She went up, and then she grabbed the dog and ran over to the side. And you're just like, uh-huh, oh, I bet, I bet. And it's just Ilya sitting there with his trainer going, you know what happens in China? you you know tigers in China right you know what happens if you kill a tiger in China the guy's like no I have no idea Ilya what do they do lift your leg yeah what do they do kill you

you kill China you kill tiger in China dead right right away. No second chances. It's like, thanks, Ilya. Lift that other leg up for me, buddy. It's like this guy is just some maniac from Siberia. Even in that interview, if you had a bald eagle feather, there's like a jail sentence for that? If you have an owl feather,

there's a jail sentence for that. Or a hawk or an eagle. Well, you look at it. I don't know. You can tell. What could this be? I'm not familiar with bird law. You know? We need a bird law

expert. Basically, there aren't too many birds that are bigger than little bird size that aren't protected. I mean, they're almost all protected by one law or another. But yeah. Anybody who's gotten in trouble for that? I watched this show where that's what it's about.

They're like animal law enforcement. And this guy ratted out his ex-girlfriend for selling owl parts. That's how they referred to them. And she would put together these like Indian looking dream catcher charms. Complete white people. Planned Parenthood. And so it had like the owl talons,

like their claws or whatever, and feathers dangling from it. And these guys, like these game enforcement officers, like come up to her and they're like, we were told you might have some owl parts in your car. Might we take a look? And she's like, absolutely not. You cannot. He officers like, like come up to her and they're like, uh, we were told you might have some owl parts in your car.

Might as well, might as we take a look. And she's like, absolutely not. You cannot. He's like, well, we're also told might have a little meth.

We're going to have our dog sniff around. Of course, the dog is like, yep, meth. Trunking along with her meth. She had some fucking owl parts and they were like, yeah,

we have a little meth here. And oh my God, is that an owl part holy shit and they fucked her up she was in a lot of trouble yeah no no bird parts man that's fucked that she would do it and that like just having a feather can be can be yeah so those federally protected birds like it seems like most raptors are protected like uh and a lot of water birds are They wouldn't protect us if the situation were reversed. Fuck them.

They would hunt us. There were a big cabal of birds that ran the world. They wouldn't even... I hear a revenge-based vegetarianism in you. I can see it. You're like, you know what? Eat birds. All birds are assholes.

I agree with that. But I also eat cows. Yeah, okay. That violates the... I remember you... Add time? Yeah, yeah, add time. We'll go back to that. This episode of Paint Thread Ready is sponsored by our friends over at Squarespace.

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throughout the night but um i was i was gonna ask before we did the ads i remember very early on when i came on pk as a guest you said this thing of like oh i only eat animals that would eat me given the opportunity and when did that fall apart and did you just go man but the cows are pretty good too i did that for like 10 years and part of its longevity was when i first started my wife was like whatever this won't last and it was like oh now it will now it's going to like you have just called out a guy with way too much determination so uh so i avoided steak and and pretty much anything that that was nice for a decade and then maybe then some but uh at some point i forget what it was but it i oh she just

admitted defeat that's what it was that was what broke the decade-long diet she was like yeah all right i get it you win you win because pretty much the house could not eat like any kind of beef and it was just off the menu because i wouldn't eat it and she's like i get it okay you will keep it up for as long as you need to to to prove yourself right you're right fine can we have steak now and i was like okay now we can and and that's how long it was what i would have done is like 30 minutes into that diet i would have been like googling stampedes gone wrong and like uh the running of the bulls and seeing like opsi ha ha vindicated back to eating you guys like i was thankful that you just never

met anyone who thought pigs were nice oh yeah oh yeah. Oh, pigs are mean as shit. I know this thumbnail. Yeah. What is this? Oh, we can't watch videos. We're doing a different kind of... Yeah, we can't. So only the patrons won't get the audio from the video. But the audio doesn't really matter.

Oh. I don't think the audio has ever been important. So this is a 10-minute video? I would skip to 1.16 and watch like 8 seconds. Okay. All right. One moment, please. Go to the big screen.

Taylor's very still. Is he having connection issues? No. No, no. I'm just... I'm ready to go. You are owl like in your ability to stay still you are frozen that was amazing i thought for sure i like i asked

the question thinking i already knew the answer like taylor is so still that this is clearly a technical issue all right ready set play you know those clickbait I almost died videos? Which I would never make. This is the only one. This is the only YouTuber I've actually seen almost died. FBS Russia. I remember he says maybe we can shoot this and get

a little bit of shrapnel look at that fucking shit that would have fucked him up so good that perfectly calmed hair would have been a little messy I think if that hit him alright that's it yeah that's it

I want to know what your like running if that hit him. Alright, that's it. Yeah, that's it. I want to know what your running average of views a month is, just in the stagnant version, and what you get in the next week just out of the PewDiePie boost, because I bet there's quite a bit. Yeah, yeah. I'm sure some more people will come and watch me do that

stupid thing again. Tell the backstory to that like you've told it to me before i think something to do with explosives hanging in the wrong spot this is before yeah it's uh this is kyle the amateur professional russian um so the uh yeah normally i like to hang them from the rearview mirror they can get them like kind of centralized the cab, and so everything kind of goes in different directions at the same rate. And I had to hang these from the oh shit angle on the passenger side, so the explosives are like right on the other side of the door.

And I shot, I think, through the bottom of the window and hit them or whatever. Basically, the explosives were too close to the door that's facing me, and it kind of turned that into a shaped charge and sent the door flying at me. But luckily we had that high speed camera crew there so we got to catch it in all of its high speed glory. That was fun. You would just know where the explosives are and then shoot that part of the truck? You couldn't see what you were shooting? Sometimes. It depended. And this time? Could you see the explosives when you were the explosion i don't remember maybe uh maybe not

i don't i'm not sure i think i'm just shooting through the door there what was uh like did you have like a cool down phase afterward like you know when something happens where like you uh not cool down phase maybe wrong word but like uh settle down moments because like sometimes like if you're in a near death have you ever almost gotten in a car accident or almost like like like hydro i've hydroplaned on the highway before and like you you're just like totally out of control and you and then like you get back in control and like for like 10 seconds you're just like okay let's turn the radio back up and you know just keep driving and then after a second you're like oh fuck like i i could have died right there like this could have been the end of the road. Did you have something like that?

No, that didn't bother me, to be honest. That is odd. It scared the cameraman, and it scared the slow-mo cameraman. All the cameramen there that day, that was their first experience with me at all, ever. So, like, I think it was like $ thousand dollars uh worth of cameramen were hanging out behind me so they uh you can hear even i don't remember i don't know if he put that text there or if that's in my video the holy fucking shit but that's that's the slow-mo guy like like watching the the thing like replay because it's a delayed reaction in his uh in his viewfinder uh saying

that because i guess it was like what did the OSHA official think about it? I mean, because I know there were so many people there. They were cool with it. I know that there's been a bunch of times in your shooting where while the camera's rolling, you're still perfect. The thing happened, you didn't expect,

and then afterwards, you're like, I have a reaction. Yeah, yeah, yeah so so after that when it was like yes that did you see that that's gonna be great you got it right you got it too fuck yeah it was like it was really yeah oh yeah oh yeah it's it's definitely that it's um it's just ecstatic that because i knew that was going to be a great shot and i'm there's a reason i'm wearing a chive shirt like you know the chive like had me make that video for them they sent me that fucking shirt to wear you know so so i'm happy i

just made a whole lot more money because this is going to get a lot more views it's gonna this is gonna be big on their website their traffic's gonna go up i'm gonna make a ton of money it was i was ecstatic that's cool yeah because i know there's i can't talk about the details of them but there have been times after the camera stops, you're like, why did that happen? Or, you know, like that thing wasn't what we talked about. Yeah, I've been upset usually at other people though. You know, like if they did something that wasn't what they thought it was going to be. When we did that thing for Activision with the quad rotor.

While the quad rotor, when it's flying, is mostly CGI or a prop, there are explosions going off, like legitimate high explosive and gasoline cans, and there's real gunfire and stuff like that to make this commercial. So they're detonating this gas can 15 yards from me, and it comes flying back at me, like half full of gas, spinning and sloshing liquid fuel that's on fire, and everybody flees

but i i just kind of stand there as it as it like spritzes around me and afterwards i'm like what the fuck was that like i thought that like being here like on a movie ranch with all you professionals i mean there's three fire trucks and ambulance and i have a makeup girl that like this was going to be safety incarnate this is the most dangerous shit i've ever fucking done like are you kidding me right now so that's definitely happened oh what do you got is this i see bill cosby and i'm hooked it's not video night man we're doing a new oh people don't know this is an audio thing um it's in video form but you only need to hear the audio is that not work either opposite of what we can do yeah so for what people people don't know uh we had some complaints about our audio and i feel like pka was like on the cutting

edge of podcast stuff when we first added video and things and we maybe been too still for too long so we're trying a new audio recording service but it's not getting like my pc audio and we're gonna i think chis said he had three options to present people. We're going to figure out which one they think is the best audio and then go with it. But... Well, to be clear, because people will be confused, 99.9% of you are getting the same audio as always.

So if you're a patron, you'll have the option to use our Zencaster audio, which is recording each of us individually and then combining that audio into one. I think that's going to be really nice, and we're going to test that out on the Patrons this week. If that all goes swimmingly, then it's going to be the

new norm. But I think, of course, we can always have Woody record from his stationary thing as a backup. So now we'll have two copies of this recording. I think this is going to be excellent, and the Patron version is going to be the version from now on, though. The Zencaster. I think the goal, to be excellent, and the Patreon version is going to be the version from now on, though. The Zencaster. I think the goal, though,

is to take the Zencast audio and put it on this video, if it's better. Correct. Yes. Yeah. So, anyway, we're trying to do Zencaster audio, and we're going to see if it's what people think. I'll describe what this video is, since we can't do it. Basically, it's one of

the scenes where the the accused is walking in with his attorney to the courthouse and whatnot and he's famous so there's a ton of people taking pictures and mr cosby mr cosby uh however you mentioned the accused it's bill whatever they would ask yeah yes bill cosby the accused because he's not or yeah because he's allegedly a rapist haven't narrowed it down all the way yet um i think we i think we may have i think we may have but you still have to stay alleged but um he is walking in and this old ass dude just goes like fat albert as he's walking into his i may have like that's what like that is that's a situation you're in different than that i so i think he's i'm just saying what the video shows

because i've watched the video he's leaving the courtroom and the context is it looks like he's getting a hung jury and might get off oh yeah I still don't think that's an appropriate time to go, hey, hey, hey. I'll grant you that. Same team on that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if there's any point in a rape trial where that's the right reaction, but yeah, the Bill Cosby rape trial is going well for Bill. I read up on this today because I didn't really know much about hung juries, but here's the scoop. If you guys know better, you can correct me. But it looks like what's happened is the jury has come back to the judge once or twice and said, we are a hung jury. We cannot agree on a verdict. The judge is likely to tell them, keep trying. And historically, oftentimes, they come to a judgment. You know, someone, they come to a judgment.

Someone just agrees with the majority and gets beaten into submission. But if that doesn't happen, then the prosecution, they declare a mistrial, I think. And it's not double jeopardy. You can't try someone for the same thing twice. If there's a mistrial, the prosecution will decide. They have six months to decide whether or not they're going to the case again and they look at a couple of factors one is whether the victim would be willing to go through this again I'm guessing they will because whether a different jury would reach a different outcome than the

strength of their case is how they described it yeah so if they think they have a really strong case and which is an anomaly that the jury got hung then that would be a thing and the cost of the trial so cost the trial strength the case willingness of the victim they So cost of trial, strength of the case, willingness of the victim. They're trying that motherfucker again. Don't worry. I don't know.

Oh, yeah. I do. Like, of course they are. The Cosby fortune is involved. Yeah. The Cosby fortune? Absolutely. All that put money.

He's got a ton of money. How does that help the prosecution? They're not taking his money, though. It's a criminal case. Again, the lawyers, if for no other reason, are going to be like, yeah, let's pursue it. Your internet connection is very slow and raw body. You might not know. Well, the victims will get compensated.

Well, that would be the civil thing, which will come later. Yeah, it's a civil suit. This is the criminal suit. Well, who knows? Yeah, this is the state suing Bill Cosby. I think it's state, not the federal, but whatever. So they have to decide whether or not, if they think they'll do it again,

they'll win. They totally will. I definitely bet on that. I think Bill Cosby has a... Conor McGregor has a conor mcgregor has a much better chance to bill cosby yeah you think yeah bill cosby's fucked yeah they're gonna get that old blind man oh yeah but he's interesting they only had three cases right so i i'm making this up i want to say something like 39 women came forward i'm'm not sure of that number. And they only found three of their cases credible enough to actually include...

In that state, right? Is that what it is? I'm asking, because I would presume that he raped women everywhere, right? That's what I would do if I were Bill. Yeah, I'd spread them all out. Because, you know, a little bit of this, a little bit of that.

So I don't even know where this is taking place. It's a hairy moment. But let's just say it's New York. Like maybe there was only three that had victims that were willing to go through with this thing and had the correct amount of evidence to to initiate the prosecution and everything from the DA's office in New York. But maybe like the Delaware rapes are yet to be tried. You know, it could be. But maybe, like, the Delaware rapes are yet to be tried, you know? It could be.

I don't – I wish I had a better idea for the burden of proof, for, like, the standard of proof that they need in a thing like this, right? Because let's all agree, 30 years ago, there's not a shred of physical evidence, right? This is total just a he said, she said thing. Yeah. Unless you knock somebody off. Would Kyle say? Well, that's totally got one different right right like if that ever came out like i got a rape i got a rape baby his name's

lasagna yeah even a baby doesn't to me prove that it was rape it just proves they had sex and and that's a witness the kid yeah so i don't know like i just i i i don't want to make it so impossible that a rapist can never get um prosecuted right because oftentimes it's a he said she said thing you know like look we went on a date we went back to her room we had sex she regrets it now she's claiming rape and there's a very good chance that they went back to the room she said no he said yes anyway. And now it's just, you know, how can you prove that's rape if you don't believe the victim ever? But there does need to be some level of proof here.

Otherwise, you can just end someone's life, you know, on a word of like, God, I don't, you know, I don't want people to find out I did that. That's why you video record all of your sexual encounters. That way there's always that fallback you can go to. Clearly, it was only simulated rape. Yeah, clearly. And you ask very intentional questions, you know. Yes.

As I'm sure Bill Cosby did. Or you would draw yourself cupcake. You know, whatever the Or you would draw yourself cupcake. Whatever the fuck you would say. And she's gonna put a pudding pop on the old Hershey Highway. I imagine him getting dirty with the pudding pops in there.

Fucking them with pudding pops and stuff. Because this guy's got a lifetime supply for sure. I just imagine they're laying everywhere. Getting dirty with them. Bill Cosby, What a monster. You a fan of the Cosby Show? I got a recipe from the show that I made during the show. It's my own barbecue.

You want to come back to my place and I will make it for you, ma'am. Six women are already there waiting. All tied up. Mr. Cosby, I just don't know about this. Call me Dr. Huxtable. Isn't that who he was in the show? Call me Cliff. That show got so big.

I don't know if you guys appreciate it. I watched it all the time as a kid. Every week, it was such a big deal compared to the Super Bowl, but it was every Thursday. It was a giant show. Did you watch it a lot or did you not watch it that much? We never missed it.

It was an event. It was was a big deal we weren't allowed we wouldn't watch any show for an african american man we're in a position of power like that what kind of nonsense family matters was that we watched matters that was with her matters i like uh fresh prince of Bel-Air and Martin I watched a lot of black TV I watched the Martin Lawrence show I did not like Martin at all you know what I hate?

In Living Color are you guys too young for In Living Color? I loved In Living Color that shit was racist as fuck in Living Color they would just abuse white people show white people as fools and idiots and it was like um like modern day blackface nonsense that show i i like i'm like how do

not people others how are other people not seeing what i'm seeing as i watch this show because white people really didn't watch that stuff very much like i only know jim carrey's on it because i like saw a clip from years ago i was like oh jim carrey that on this that's interesting but i never actually watched it because it's like within two seconds of starting it there's a bunch of people up on the stage and like that those crazy 90s colors and it's clearly i'm not there you know uh seven year old eight year old me was not the person they were playing to you know my interests were not represented nothing about legos or dinosaurs i watched queen latifah's color uh queen latifah's show it was called um living single yeah i still know the theme such living single in a 90s kind of world i'm glad i

got my girls and then it was like it was like her and like two of her black friends and like three black dudes and they're like apartment it was like black friends uh it pretty pretty much yeah i watched all these shows yeah but in living color is modern day blackface man not even that modern anymore yeah it was very racist well at least you can't turn on netflix or anything now and find 60 shows and documentaries like hey listen up whitey or like fuck you males or like whatever like documentaries they make now like listen up white people yeah i got things to say and you're gonna listen no i'm not i don't care if i'm a 99 match you fucking propagandists at netflix i'm not watching this oh man dude that's pissing me off. The Netflix ratings like it's it's beyond the pale propaganda of not propaganda, but it's beyond the pale like fakery. Like I'm looking through shit that I have never watched anything similar to it. I'm getting like 99 percent recommend Amy Schumer, 99 percent recommend Broad City shows like that where it's like i've never watched any of these shows

and then i'll go to like a nature documentary and it'll be like you know the world the wonderful world of snakes or some shit and it's like 60 it's like i've watched tons of shit about animals and snakes and like it's just because you're trying to push me to watch your shitty comedy specials because you went hey this comedy thing's going really well with people like Bill Byrne, Louis C.K., and David Taylor, whatever. Let's quadruple – no. Multiply our budget by 10 and get 10, 20 times as many comedians and get them all up once a week. And they're like, oh, that's a really good idea. That can't backfire at all.

Let's go find all the best 100 comedians. And then they go find them, and they're not looking for quality comedy. They're looking for, well, okay, let's look at our diversity-o-meter. Do we have enough black people? Yes, yes. It turns out a lot of good black people we have enough women's version of this analysis no this is absolutely true going on it's such a shit they're pushing their agenda yeah absolutely special they're so hard to make it so they're good because otherwise they'd have to admit oh shit we dumped a ton of money making amy schumer into someone most people don't like

she's her comedy's not that good but 500 videos on youtube for stealing it be that these algorithms say like oh look he really enjoyed chapelle he really enjoyed bill burr he really enjoyed you know this guy maybe he'll like amy schumer she's another big comedian that's what i would think but then i see stuff from all the other categories where it's like oh this documentary on like uh psychological disorders or whatever like in serial killers or something like the kind of stuff i'm interested in that i watch it'll say like 62 percent yeah and it's like this doesn't make sense they're clearly trying to funnel you to those specials to get people to watch them because most people are not i guarantee it i i i

preferred the star method and they're and i i think someone was saying like yeah but then you see two stars and you don't watch it it's like yeah fucking exactly like like i'm glad you're getting how how rating systems work it's so we don't have to watch shit it's so the cream rises to the top like you're not there isn't enough amy schumer haters to to make her special have two stars unless it truly deserved two stars and it did right like stars. And it did, right? Bill Burr doesn't have this issue. He's like, ah, the women, they're attacking my specials. Ah, look at them, two stars.

Can you believe it? No, of course he's not, because his shit has four and a half stars. There are Amy Schumer haters, right? There are people who take... I was thinking about joke thieves, right? The only reason we know that they're Amy Schumer haters is because Amy Schumer keeps telling us that they're Amy Schumer haters.

It's just plausible deniability for how shitty her specials do. It's the Ghostbusters defense, where they're like, oh shit, we made a movie with all women, and it ended up really not being a good sequel at all, and it sucked, and nobody wanted to see it. Even women didn't want to go see it and it lost a bunch of money it can't be that we made a bad movie can't be that paul feig or whoever directed it is a fucking idiot

pandering jackass it's that there were haters it's that there were so many people out there that hated it that they they drove it into the ground it's like no like if anything like bill burke makes fun of shit all the time that offends a lot of people just or louis ck or whoever but nobody hounds him on there and there's just as he has more fans than amy schumer guaranteed and the reason is women you know really he makes fun of white guys more than anything at this point which is fine because white guys you don't fucking care the women who are watching it and they see they see him making fun of women they're laughing along with it. They like it because he's fucking funny and he's making good content.

I'm so glad that Wonder Woman has done so fucking well because it just smashes that whole Ghostbusters sexism argument apart. It's like clearly it wasn't about the all-female cast. You've got a movie that's led by an unknown Israeli female woman. There's no prejudices here except those against bad filmmaking. That's it. Except anti-Semites, ironically. There was so much anti-Semitism

for Gal Gadot or whatever her name is. The movie was banned in a couple places, if I recall. I think it was Indonesia or something like that. It was a Middle Eastern country. It was starring a Jewish woman woman an israeli woman at that yeah you know she served in the israeli army they all got to do it chick is fucking hot man like i saw the picture of her at 18 like and while she's in listing she's like giving a little salute a little sexy salute

yeah i i saw that picture too and i was like oh my god God. Someone at the recruitment office, they should have special procedure for when someone like that walks in. They go, guys, everybody, we all understand that we have this rule that everybody has to serve, but take a look at this woman. Get out of here. Get out of here. She's on recruitment duty. Get out there and get your own recruitment duty.

That's what I was thinking. All right, you're going to work right here. You and I, we're partners. She's signing up in the office. Where will I be deployed? Right over fucking there. Under my desk. You are deployed under my desk.

Every fellow walks by that window, you wave that fucking Israeli flag and that machine gun in the other hand and get them in here. Jesus Christ, that's a beautiful woman. And I don't know. I guess it's because she's israeli but her like skin tone and everything is really attractive i like her yeah i haven't seen the new wonder woman though me neither ama question uh are all of you happy where you live is there a dream place you'd love to live i don't i don't know ways with this i like things about where i live and there's things i don't know.

I like things about where I live, and there's things I don't like. There's other places I'd like to live, but I don't know what the dream place would be. The dream place, if I can be anywhere, is probably some sort of weird Aquaman setup, right? Like, I'd like to live below the ocean. I would miss the sun.

No, I wouldn't. That sounds horrible. You'd be so alone. You couldn't have company over. Leaving the house is an ordeal. Amazon doesn't deliver until they start droning packages with anchors on them. Plop, plop, plop. Yeah.

I couldn't think of somewhere I'd rather not live than under the sea. So totally on the other side. I had Hawaii in my head at first. And then Hawaii has some really significant drawbacks. Online gaming. Yeah, they're racist. Okay, the locals are racist.

And that's a big deal. They're super-duper crazy racist. We should take their statehood away and give it to Puerto Rico. They'll appreciate that shit. It's hard to buy things when you're – The island is small. And things that I... Two-day delivery maybe aren't there.

I would miss that. Things are expensive. That's another thing. Hey, does your ideal place include cost? Because I feel like if you're really, really wealthy, there are places in California that are outstanding to live. But if you're just doing okay, there are other places in the country where you could have a much better life. And you have to live but you know if you're just doing okay there are other places in the

country where you could have a much better life yeah and you have to live next to californians yeah everyone's like yeah i know a lot of people who think that californians are hard to get along with a lot of people have like the worst thing is the people and i i guess it has there's some sort of like competitive status that doesn't exist in most of the rest of the country. I guess it does a little. I don't know. I was just meaning the smarmy Prius people, more being facetious, sticking around.

Because so much of Northern California, obviously, is so much different than SoCal. I mean, California doesn't have farmland like the Midwest or South with like corn and like staple foods but they have stuff like almonds and pistachios and Vineyards vineyards all the stuff that like as soon as you decided you wanted to be your own country You'd be like, all right break out the food. Oh my god. We just have almonds and pistachios Where was the beef coming from? Kentucky oh fuck Oh my god, we just have almonds and pistachios? Well, where was the beef coming from?

Kentucky? Oh, fuck. Well, I guess we're going vegan in California. Lots of nuts and seeds. Their problem is water, right? They don't have their own fucking water. They have the whole ocean over there, though. Desalination is a big deal.

I always thought that desalination, surely we've got that handled, right? Getting fresh water out of salt water, you would think that, like, jeez, with all the things that desalination, surely we've got that handled, right? Like getting fresh water out of salt water. You would think that, geez, with all the things that we've mastered, they've got CERN over there breaking apart subatomic particles to see how they work, and yet we still have a hard time getting the salt out of our water. Apparently it's very costly. Yeah, my parents were here just recently for my daughter's graduation,

and they're like, oh, did you hear? Israel's desalination technology is coming to California. It's going to solve all their water problems. And I don't know what to believe anymore. They are so pro-Israel. So crazy pro-Israel. They make shit up. They're like, did you know Intel? Yes, mom.

I'm familiar with Intel. I've been working with computers for a couple decades. Intel, you say. And she's like, they'm familiar with Intel. I've been working with computers for a couple decades. No! Intel, you say. And she's like, they're an Israeli company. They're an Israel company, and they invented the microchip. And I'm like, actually, none of that is true. And she's like, yes, it is.

I went on a tour, and the Israeli tour guide told us that. Like, this is actually right in my wheelhouse, and that's complete bullshit. They're a Silicon Valley company. And so you have to be sitting there being like, I promise to you he didn't

say until it was written. Am I off again? Completely. Yeah. I'm sure that was very funny. And now he's frozen. And I don't think he's just doing his Al imitation this time. I bet your parents really like Gal Gadot in Wonder Woman because she's Israeli. If they knew that, they'd be on board with the DC universe.

They might. But yeah, they have a huge Israel bias such that they'll believe that Israel is the leading software company on the planet and leading computer hardware company. You should ask them if they had to choose whether they would be a citizen of Israel or maybe a friend to Israel is a better. No, I like citizenship. If the United States and Israel parted ways and they could only be a citizen to one, would they renounce their U.S. citizenship and become Israeli? You might get a yes. Because what I'm wondering here is if perhaps, I don't know the Bible as well as Taylor does, but I know that the Israelis, the Hebrews are God's chosen people, and I would imagine

that during the end times, like maybe some important stuff happens in Israel, and that's a good place to be. It's funny you say that, because before you finished, I was like yeah, that would probably play a major role into it. Like they believe the end times are coming soon. Soon.

Like, yeah. The 15th? Huh. It won't be long now. And that Israel is somehow blessed and the horrible things are going to happen everywhere. I can just imagine you calling your dad and be like, Dad, have you seen the raid on three-year CDs? He's like, ha ha ha!

I don't think you're going to make it to... You're not going to last as long as that CD. Just stick with me. On a related topic, right? So I feel like I'm doing some of what I watched him do, and I thought it was silly. So during the Obama years, he was convinced the stock market was going to crash. It was going to be a nightmare and that the whole thing was fake, right? fake right they get it republic i'll just say republicans believing their propaganda were like oh unemployment rate isn't actually low the labor participation rate etc they make up all these i

haven't heard a word about labor participation rate since trump became president no one says a peep but during obama's whole presidency it's fake news It's all about the labor participation rate. And my father did not invest in stocks during Obama's term, knowing that the market was going to collapse because it was all fake gains, that the economy was actually really terrible. And I'm doing a similar thing. Like I have a large cash position and I'm like, because don't believe the economy is is going to do well for the next four years i like i i think that sometime during the trump thing it's going to go south and i'm like am i just doing what he did am i am i no different just blue instead of red we'll know by the end of his term i don't know but uh that cryptocurrency

that goes up and down so yeah of course it does there's of course you can't that's not a that's not a solid bet that's not what you throw your nest egg into it's really fun to watch though yeah yeah it's fun to watch but like if you're in like a wealth preservation mode cryptocurrency is not where you put your cash of course not but um uh anyway yeah so i i don't have like i i haven't dumped as much money into stocks as I normally do lately because I'm not sure about the economy's continued momentum. But, you know, maybe I'm missing out.

I don't know. Do you guys understand me? Yeah. Yes, did you do something cool? Nothing cool, no. Do you guys ever do hotspots on your phone? Yeah. Yeah. How does it work for you? And how do you do that? It depends on your phone. But I go into settings and it's like, there's just a thing right there that says like set up a hotspot. And I click it.

And there's two ways to do it. My phone can make an open one, which any device will be able to discover and then join without a key. Or it'll give me a six-digit alphanumeric code, which I then connect. It'll show up on my Wi-Fi because it's putting off a Wi-Fi signal. And I connect the secondary device, my computer, my laptop, another phone,

whatever. You have a Samsung, don't you? Yeah. I connect the other device to that, put in that six-digit code, and I'm done. I have a Samsung S8't you yeah i connect the other device to that put in that six digit code and i'm done i have a samsung s8 oh yeah i just got it i had the s4 for the longest time and which one do you have kyle s7 s7 uh i was between this and the iphone and it was the honestly the deciding factor was the headphone thing. Because the lady at the store, I was, like, looking at them, and I was like, oh, so this is the iPhone one that doesn't, does this have the headphone? She's like, that's the one that doesn't have the headphone. What you do is it actually comes with a cord that you plug into the bottom of it. And then I'm like, oh, it comes with a dongle.

And then she was like, yeah. And I was like, all right, I'm going to go with the Samsung S8. That one has headphones, right? She goes, yes, but it's not waterproof. And I went, ah, right, I'm going to go with the Samsung S8. That one has headphones, right? She goes, yes, but it's not waterproof. And I went, ah, well, I'm not nine. Did you say that? Please tell me that's accurate. I did.

Yes, I did. She got a laugh out of it, too. Yeah, yeah. I'll try not to spill my juice now. When I'm playing with my Tonka trucks in the sink, I'll have to be careful. I got the Edge. So I don't think you liked this feature of the edge but you know i really did like the rollover screen oh the rounded part

yeah that's it on the edge and the display has a case on it so you can't see it as well but it's got that same rounded edge and i didn't i like it i don't i i like when you're not using the phone like i don't know if you can tell very clearly, but on the rounded edge, it's always displaying the shit you actually want to know. So I never have to do that thing where I touch my phone to check the time, the date, the battery, or the day of the week or any of that stuff.

And the battery life on this is insane compared to the S4, which I never had for you. Whenever I get a new device, I make sure I exercise the battery properly with lithium-ion batteries. I've never heard it described this way, but a good way to think S4, which I have for you. Whenever I get a new device, I make sure I exercise the battery properly with lithium-ion batteries. I've never heard it described this way, but a good way to think of it is think of it as a jar of jelly beans. All right? Now, if you leave a jar of jelly beans sitting for too long, they all get stuck together.

So what you've got to do is you completely deplete the battery down to zero, and then you refill it up again. Otherwise, it won't be as elastic with its charge. You'll just be charging that top part over and over and over and the battery life won't be as good. A percentage won't mean as much. Is this confirmed? Is this a real thing?

You're supposed to do it like this. You're always supposed to take your battery down to zero and then right back up to 100. Plugging your phone in and letting it hover at 97 to 99 isn't good for your battery life. Isn't it the same vein of like... I want to jump in, because I think that that was only true of nickel metal hydride batteries.

Yeah, it's not true. And that you're out of date for lithium ion batteries. This is worth a Google, but I think that you might be using like 2007 techniques it's possible i've heard before like in this same vein of not charging up all the way that it's bad to love your car with gas if it only has like three quarters of a tank like that you're supposed to not top it off a lot like

you're supposed to run it all out and then put new gas in it oh yeah you're right really it looks like yeah you're breaking up again um but yeah i just see um sorry well shit you're right unlike nicad batteries lithium-ion batteries do not have a charge memory that means deep discharge cycles are not required in fact it's better for the battery to use partial discharge cycles well that's all over then yeah i i remember reading that i guess it's been years ago now but it stuck with me and so i i guess i did myself a disservice by fully discharging my my brand new lithium ion battery phone and and then doing that but well it still does well despite the the the harm that i've done for my old school technique

that's funny um i totally lost my train of thought with that but it worked out funny anyway yeah i'm waiting for the new iphone to come out and i think I'm going to be waiting a long time. From what I hear, they're going to be announced this year. Maybe people will even be able to buy them around Christmas. Why, though? So here's my thing. I'm sorry to interrupt, but I thought about this yesterday. I had my brand new – well, it's not brand new.

This is like a year old as far as the design. I had my new-ish phone pretty much, and then I looked and and i had my lgg3 which is a 4k flat screen phone also with no buttons or bezels or anything and i was like the fuck better is this than this like it's not it's not we've met we've peaked right like like at this point like what what is it that we want our phones to do that they don't already to do unless they start adding unless i can sit this thing down and a hologram pops out of it and dances like it's star wars that is the future and when they do that when you can be like oh mom's calling and you put the phone down you go and mom emerges from your fucking phone three-dimensionally like like and she's looking at you like until that happens, what is the point in the newest and greatest?

Because they're always talking about, oh, this operating system, that operating system. It's like, what the fuck am I doing with my phone? Do you think I'm laying this thing down, pulling out a wireless keyboard, and editing videos? I've got two things. I don't get it. I guess that's my point.

I could use more speed. I'm finding as I pull up apps, they're not coming up instantly. And I would like them to come up faster. But the bigger thing is the screen. I'm going to get a bigger screen. And then I think they're going to call it the iPhone 10 as the 10-year anniversary. But we can call it the 8. It doesn't matter.

They're using it to a new type of screen that should be brighter and use less batteries and be easier to read. And easier to read is one of the killer features I'm looking for in my next phone. I hope they go to Roman numerals and they're like, and be easier to read. And easier to read is one of the killer features I'm looking for in my next phone. I hope they go to Roman numerals and they're like I, X, and they're like some kind of slick logo. They go to like the X to signify the number. But then they'll go to XI and XII and XIII.

Oh, I'm sure a big company would never fuck up their branding like that. Microsoft. And then they have the S every other year, so it'll be like X-I-I-S and X-I-I-I. X-I-I-S. Yeah, I saw them mocking the new Microsoft Xbox branding, and they were like, it's like Xbox One,

but on either side of it, it's like X-X-X-X-X, like a gamer tag would be when you can't get the one you want. Because, like, what is the new one called? It's like Xbox One X. Yeah, the Xbox One X. Is it better? Did they upgrade the hardware in it? I think they did, and it plays 4K.

It's 4K. Yeah. Minecraft in 4K. It used to be, like, you bought a console, and they would kind of guarantee that this thing was good for 10 years. Like, I know it's $500. Just buy it. You're going to use this thing for 10 for 10 years like i i know it's 500 bucks just buy it you're gonna use this thing for 10 years you're gonna love it and chucks has it been three three years and they're upgrading the console and if you're a hardcore gamer i think you'll like it

i mean i know i would when i was doing uh like call of duty all the time all the time it was like give me a new xbox i'll take better graphics. You know, I get enough use out of mine that I'll buy a new Xbox like every year or two. How much is it? Like the new Xbox One X? Probably starting at like five and then there'll be a four and then all of a sudden it'll be 350 and then it'll be 250. That's how it always goes. Have you seen the Call of Duty World War II multiplayer footage?

Yeah. Did you watch Jack Frag's video or what did you watch? I don't know. I just watched the trailer. The multiplayer trailer. See, that's horseshit. I hate that they released it because Call of Duty releases a multiplayer

trailer which is like hudless footage of people shooting guns and running around in third person mode. You can't tell what's a cinematic what's uh a cut screen rendered on who god knows what and and and what is actually through the eyes of a player my guess is it's almost all the the former and very little of the latter but jack frags gets like you know special i think t martin has some videos too

but but i watch jack frags stuff. He's got footage of him playing the game, right? At their place, I assume, because everybody's gamer tag is like Able 1, Able 2, Able 3. It's one of those deals. Looks really good. Very reminiscent of Call of Duty World at War. It doesn't look as dark

and as mushed as far as the graphics. Of course, we're talking about 10 years of aggression. But someone pointed this out. They were like, wow, Call of Duty has gotten old as shit over the last four years, and they've just been hiding

it beneath flashy guns and bright lights. Now that you revert back to what it used to be, you can see all the motions are the same, all the graphics are barely improved. This looks bad. And I was like, wow, when I think of it, when I look at it through that lens, you're like, yeah, this doesn't look light years better than Call of Duty World at War that we were all playing ten years ago. No, that's not what I wanted to hear. I was hoping you'd be excited more by it.

The guy's running around with his MP40 and it's recoil-less. He's just... And meanwhile, I'm playing Battlegrounds where it's like there's so much skill required to get a kill. When you get a kill, you're like, fucking smoked you, bro! It's like you really feel accomplished

if you get someone because you've outshot them. And then I'm just watching him run around, and he's a great player. It has nothing to do with his skill. It's just the game just doesn't require much skill. He's just fucking popping away. And you were saying that you don't want to go back to console. No, I'm not. I mean, I've never played COD on PC,

but apparently the PC presence is just not there for it compared to other games. Not nearly substantial. Well, since COD 4. Oh. Yeah, I COD 4. Oh. Yeah, I'm going to get it anyway. I really like the idea of going back to World War II. Yeah.

I'm definitely a PC gamer now. I don't want to revert back to a controller. I want to continue to get better on the mouse and keyboard. I definitely wasn't going to get any better than I had gotten at one point or another. I had peaked at console skills, but I have not yet peaked at my mouse and keyboard skills. So I'm

going to keep that up. You can just be so goddamn precise with it. And, you know, hotkeys and everything's remappable. And when you get good, you're good. So I'm going to stick with that. And, God, everything looks amazing. And there's lots of great games. Have you thought about making videos? I made a video last night. Did you upload it?

No. I don't know what I'm going to do with it or where I'm going to put it. I want a game of Battlegrounds and Solo and get 9 or 10 kills. I did some commentary over that. I don't know what I'll do with it. I might give it to the Patreons. In Battlefield? For me it is. I think the best in the world get

20, 21, something like that. Way different than COD. Nobody's putting up 55. There's 100 total best in the world get like 20, 21, something like that. So way different than COD. That nobody's putting up 55 or anything. Well, there's 100 total players in the game. Like there's 100 of us in here. And we all have one life, as you know. So like if you knock out 20 of them, then you've really done something. You're a force. I didn't know that Battlefield 1 only had one life.

I thought it was more like Call of Duty. No, I'm talking about Battlegrounds, right? Oh, Battlegrounds. The PC game that we played briefly. Yeah. All right. Yeah, then I more like i'm talking about no i'm talking about battlegrounds right uh oh battlegrounds pc game that we played briefly yeah all right yeah then i know you're talking about yeah so you didn't like battlegrounds it wasn't your cup of tea taylor no it's just because i suck at the wasd controlling like there were so many times that literally the only game that i did well for kyle and chiz on the is, it must have been some kind of glitch, because I dropped into the map, and by, you know, thank Christ, I happened upon a gun in one of the shacks I was looking at at first, and then I was running over by Kyle and Chiz, and they were both on the outside of a building being like, alright, there's one in here, I know he's in here, where is he? And for some reason, I could just see through the building. I don't know what was up.

It didn't render in. It didn't render in for me, and so I was like, yeah, could just see through the building. I don't know what was up. It didn't render in. It didn't render in for me. And so I was like, yeah, he's upstairs in the bathroom. And then they'd be like, is he? And they went up there and they killed him. And then they'd be like, is there someone else there? And I was like, yeah, there's another guy adjacent, you know, across in the closet. Maybe I can shoot him.

And so I aimed my AK and shot. And it turned out it didn't render the walls either. And so I was able to kill the guy as he was just sitting in the bathroom just getting pop pop pop pop and he died and I got my first ever double kill in a small little shack as you know they were both crouching because the building that we had just

come from where you guys were you two were killing everybody they were crouched in there you know protecting each other and I could see right through the fucking cord steel wall and you could like thinking through the fucking corrugated steel wall and you could like thinking like oh are you shooting me dude quit it

oh that was the only time useful in that game as soon as the next game started I had my fingers crossed like please please please no more walls let this be my thing and then no the walls came back because like i'm like a i'm like a 60 year old with a console controller the way i i attract

these people with a mouse because they'll be coming at me and i'll have the drop on them and i'll see them and i'll go like bang bang bang bang and then they'll come over and shoot me right in the head and it's it's so frustrating so frustrating it really is i i've been getting better i get better every day i would say um and and like because i watch videos and those guys are great because they're pc gamers who do it for a living right and i compare myself to them and that's a that's a high bar to set for yourself because they're just like just snapping on these people and murdering them, putting five shots consecutively on a guy 200 meters away. But because that's the bar

that I've been striving for, I feel like lesser achievements that I should have been happy with just haven't meant anything to me. And I have gotten better. I'm winning some games and I'm useful to my squad really almost all the time. I play with a lot of fans and we won one last night. Yeah, we won a squad

last night. How many have you won so far now? They've reset the leaderboards like three times but I'd say I've won a total of like 12 games or something like that. That's quite a bit. Is Chiz still into it or not as much? Nah, Chiz

hasn't played at all. I don't know what Chiz is doing. I don't think Chiz is very good at it. It really wasn't his cup it at all. I don't know what Chiz is doing. I don't think Chiz was very good at it. It really wasn't his cup of tea either. I don't know what his computer situation is, if it's up and running. He said he had some GPU issues a while back. Do you know how he's doing with weight loss? When I was down 10,

yes, this was like 2 or 3 weeks ago, he was down 16. He's doing really well. Now I I'm down 14 I wonder if he's down 20 or 25 pounds I don't know I'm not sure I'm not I'm not sure if he wanted his weight loss to be public knowledge but well I don't hate you is congratulations on your success what we saying I'm sure he's been continuing on yeah i i just know i didn't even know that that's great yeah i didn't yeah i didn't know either it was in the text message we have that

group text and uh um i think he's i'm sharing all chis's stuff so hey chis it's a service i provide but um he's doing the keto thing apparently he's he knows it better than i do and uh and he's had a lot of success with it so yeah congrats jizz i just wonder what the that's really the that's the big thing right now the keto diet because that you didn't do that ever did you kyle when you were starting you just went to uh to as much as many calories as possible there was few calories you weren't like no carbs or anything, right? Yeah, yeah. That seems like way too much work.

I've done like Atkins before, but I think keto is very different from Atkins. I read a bit about keto. The first thing I read was the first rule of keto is you don't talk about keto, so I don't talk about keto. That's not true. I think keto is closer to vegetarianism

or veganism in that you do crossfit all the time yeah how can you tell if a guy's a pilot I don't worry he'll tell you yeah it's the same thing with crossfit have you ever met someone who's really into crossfit yep they told me yeah yeah yeah they will tell you when they're really into it and it's even more frustrating because like if they're not in good shape at all and they talk to you about crossfit a lot it's kind of like ah you're not even that good at it clearly like because like you're not like ripped or anything but then i have one i guess haven't talked to him forever but a friend who like years ago was like right when crossfit was starting got into it and i saw him like a year and a half after that. He was just fucking shredded. And I was like, oh, maybe I miscalculated.

Oh, you go and you do your weightlifting, you know, with your cool friends at your gym doing your swings and your pull ups, your your kipping pull ups, which aren't pull ups. You just swing yourself up to the top over and over like you basically hump yourself up there. I get that they're like not traditional pull ups, but these guys do like 70 or 100 fake pull-ups. You can remove all the rules, and I can't do 70 of them. I don't think I could do 20. I don't think I could do 15 kipping pull-ups. Oh, I could not do 10 perfect form pull-ups where I go all the way down and all the way back up and everything. No way I could do 10 perfect form pull-ups where i go like all the way down and all the way back up and

everything no way i could do 10 perfect ones i bet i could bust out 20 kipping pull-ups no problem because once i'm in the swing of it then i'm just maneuvering my momentum swinging my lower half making it so i'm just like it's like i'm on a swing set you know like imagine if you, it's hard when you're on a swing set, you're not actually like going through the effort of lifting your body weight and pushing it forward. You're just swinging. You know, did you see that video Conor McGregor posted of, uh, I guess some like 60 year old guy challenged him to muscle ups. And then he replied by knocking them out and everything, doing the muscle ups. Um, I've seen Joe do those in real life and he knocked them out with just as much ease. I would say I'd, I'd, I'd like to see him. I bet. I know, I know Joe could knock those out the same way Connor did. Do you know how many muscle ups I can do? None, none, none. Have you ever tried one?

Yeah. Yeah, I've tried. I can, I, I, I'm not able to pull myself up with enough to build quickly enough to build the momentum that's required for the second portion of it. I can certainly pull myself up once, but not with enough inertia to get the second part going. I bet Peak Woody could have done a muscle up. Sure. Yeah.

But not current Woody. He's much heavier. It's a much bigger load to get above that part. On my chin-up pull-up machine thing I've got, I've got these elastic bands that your feet go onto and they will reduce your weight by however much weight you want.

Let's say you can only do four pull-ups, like full all the way down and all the way up with your body weight. Well, you put a 40-pound resistance band on your feet and all of a sudden I weigh 130 pounds and maybe i can do two sets of seven or three sets of eight or whatever it may be and that's a much better workout for getting stronger than my son four reps of the um my son one of his goals is to get into the next level of parkour grade they have uh they wear wristbands but you

can think of them like karate belts. To get to the next one, he has to do so many pull-ups and push-ups. He trains those all the time. At the gym, he uses bands to make himself lighter so he can do pull-ups because he can't do them without them. At home, he does negatives where he'll get on a stool, jump up, and then slowly

go down. He's trying to build his strength. You can also do on my sex swing, I have the option of like holding on to those those bands and like dangling, if you can imagine that, with sort of my heels down like this and pulling myself up and doing those. So it's like the opposite of a bench press. I'm pulling myself up and then i can change that angle and change

the resistance by changing my angle and stuff and i can kick my heels up and like fully suspend myself and do like a short one i can't i'm not an acrobat i can't pull my body weight up and like do anything crazy but but i can lift my body weight that's like muscle weights are one of those exercises yeah man like muscle so one of those like you watch it and you're like that doesn't look too hard it's just a pull-up with a little extra oomph at the end like i've attempted muscle-ups before and by that's a fair thing to say i've done pull-ups with the prospect of muscling up until like you get to the pull-up and you're like oh oh no way like there's no check what do you like but these guys just boom boom boom just pushing straight down similar guys 60 the ring

you know the gymnastic rings you know like you can do this but to like get it down by your waist is it's a whole nother thing that's yeah it's hard those guys are insane like when you look at uh the men's gymnastics shit where they do the rings and literally the entire workout or not workout the entire event in some of them is just going like that and just holding as hard as you can and holding your whole body weight up and those guys arms they're literally like calves yeah like the size of a normal person's calf. It's insane. We're talking about those gymnasts, the male gymnasts who do the ring hold.

It's a strength to weight ratio sport. And they just look crazy. If you meet them in person, I suspect they'd be very small and would take away from their accomplishment. If you were to take, I don't know, a gymnast or Chad Mendes, the MMA fighter or something, and stretch him out to six foot, they'd look more like regular people. They wouldn't be little tanks. So I think that happens in the gymnast world too. Like, yeah, look at that guy.

He's a perfect specimen. He's incredible. He's 5'3". They're a tank-ish body type, a fire plug. You can always tell that in the olympics when like you see the gymnastics team and you're like man that's six super jacked dudes right there standing around waiting for their turn and then like the coach will walk up and the coach is like a normal size like six foot guy and he's just like towering yeah they're up to his nipples yeah they're not

even like short like five uh five or something they're like five two five three like like almost being that short is the reason you're there because you've got great genetics for being short and great genetics for putting on muscle like a badass basically and so that it's how they get there i read something like if you're seven foot tall there's a 15 chance you're in the nba it was like crazy and uh i feel like if you're 5'2 and jacked, you're just doing a thing that very few people can also do. Yeah. That's what I never liked about, like,

I guess I never dreamed about being in the NBA ever, but I always thought about it differently. Because if you dreamed about being in the NFL or Major League Baseball or the NHL or something, even if you dreamed about being in the NFL or Major League Baseball or the NHL or something like even if you're like five nine or something there's a chance yeah that something could happen if you work your ass off there's a position for you yeah there's something that you might be able to do like if you're too small it might just be like all right sorry like maybe go to maybe baseball you can do it I don't know because your strike

box is running backs you know those yeah you can do it hard to catch like marshall lynch wasn't that tall if i recall correctly he was incredible uh but in basketball it's like you could be the most skilled person on the planet and if you're five six five eight there's a zero percent chance you're making it to the nba like it's just it won't happen especially like white what if you're white then even less chance someone's gonna bring up mugsy bows or something there's a player every now and then even alan iverson who was like tiny i think he was six foot or six one how tall is alan iverson i don't know i'm gonna guess six four i'm gonna guess six foot i'm gonna get six foot flat i don't i just feel like i know it six i'll say six one so it's different it. Jumped away from the correct answer.

You dodged it. For the sake of the curse. Yeah, but on the court, he looked 5'5 to me amongst those trees he's playing with. I'm like, is trees racist? No, trees totally... They know I mean tall person. No, no, no. Trees can't be racist. Unless it's against Ents.

They're not that. But, yeah, that's's and then what i don't like about that is like someone who's like 5'10 like if they're like like a perfect physical specimen they're great at basketball or whatever or 5'8 i'll say that like they have less a chance than a guy who's seven foot tall and has the coordination of like a newborn chimp like who who has no ability to like gauge their movements and regulate their passing and like minute bowl that guy who like like some because some of those people are in the nba it's like not like like you look at lebron and you're like

that is a fucking athlete that is an athlete right there who happens to be very tall you look at some of these other gangly guys and you're like that is a guy from eastern ukraine that had a couple of enormous potato farming parents and now he's got his enormous slav hands palm in the ball like just like dipping it into the net to score and it's like don't don't delude yourself into thinking you'd be anywhere near this place even this fucking country if you weren't seven two but be a fucking diesel mechanic in uzbekistan yeah you'd be training bears in a circus somewhere this giant fucking mitts what a freak fuck one marry one kill one i'd fuck betty white i think right because oprah is just tell people uh oprah whoopi Goldberg, or Betty White.

Yeah, so you don't want to fuck Whoopi Goldberg. That's a nasty looking lady. That's the kill, I think. She is the kill. I think you want to marry Oprah, though, because she's rich as shit. And Betty White is probably not... I mean, just go somewhere else. It's your best bet here. It's just your best bet here. What do you mean just go somewhere else. You know? It's your best bet here.

It's just your best bet here. What do you mean, go somewhere else? Just go somewhere else in your mind to a happy place and fuck that old, awful pussy. You don't want to put on an early season episode of Golden Girls in the background so you can look in doggy style.

You can daydream that she's only 65. Yeah, I wish Blanche were here to lick your balls. Yeah, I wish Blanche were here in the fucking corner. We'd make that bitch watch. I get Woody to put a wig on, be Arthur. These jokes are going over great with our audience. For anyone out there who's seen every season of Golden Girls,

we're knocking them out of the park right now with these references. Woody, when you first bought your house, you mentioned the possibility of having a shooting range in your yard. Do you still plan on doing that? I don't really. I haven't figured out a way that I think it's safe to shoot at things in my yard. It's basically flat, and I'm surrounded by neighbors and i yeah i just i just don't think it's smart and i don't think it's the right way for me to go and that's

it also i don't know how much i like shooting like i i like guns i like the machinery of them and i even like shooting but for me to like want it so much that i have to put a range next to my house so that i could do it conveniently on the daily The only kind of shooting that's fun to do like that would be like, and the, like if I were putting some kind of shooting into your house, it would be a trap machine. You know, basically like there's several standing positions that are marked by a concrete pad and these are the shooting positions. And then, uh, kind of hidden in a hill or buried in the ground with a mound over it, there's a machine that throws sporting clays away from you at sort of a, I don't

know, maybe a 60 degrees of spread. They might go this way, this way, or straight away, and the tilt could be very different. Don't you need like 150 acres over there to do that safely? You don't need much at all uh you just need raining pellets on my neighbors wherever you're shooting towards you will be raining pellets there but there's no way that i'm not going to exceed the like i don't know how wide my lot is a thousand feet i thought maybe there were some woods that you could shoot toward oh just like woods that aren't there are

kind of but kind of isn't good enough like yeah not for guns yeah i mean you get shot from 100 yards of birdshot it just stings a bit and they won't even call the cops maybe right but if i'm that neighbor i'm like what are you routinely just like peppering my house with birdshot oh they'll call the cops running down the gutters it's in the you know like we Woody, you're routinely just like peppering my house with birdshot. Oh, they'll call the cops. It's running down the gutters. It's in the, you know, like we can see you shoot like 600 rounds a day. They're landing on my roof. Like this is a bad thing. If that was the case, like you had to shoot toward a house, like that's what worked.

Yeah. Yeah. Whatever. Like I've got a little oasis amongst other homes and I don't think it's safe. So that's, yeah. And that's, that's one that it's better just not to just go to a range or go to the wilderness somewhere and do it. Like don't roll those dice needlessly.

Sometimes I used to think like, well, I'll build a little mound, right? Put targets at the base of the mound and then that'll be okay. And then I asked myself, well, okay, what if your neighbors put targets on the other side and shoot towards you? Oh no, I don't like that. That sounds terrible. If you really wanted this, what I've seen done is you dig a pit.

You make this sort of like it's a basement and you use the removed earth to make a mound on top of even that. So you and the targets are all in a in a lower area maybe eight feet lower than the surrounding uh landscape and then that all the earth you've moved is that berm even higher making the wall you're shooting into like 15 feet up and all of your bullets are usually going at a downward angle because you put a slope on the range. So everything's going down, and there's that,

and there's the catches on the side by the wall. I can't do it, and I'll tell you why. No, of course not. And you don't have the need for it either. Yeah, but when we did our pool, these guys dug like 18 inches, and it was just granite everywhere. They had to bring in a special rock crushing excavator drill thing um

my tractor can't do that oh no no that's bulldozer work and backhoe work for sure yeah so it's did you know it was going to be granite or was that just a nice surprise uh well somewhere in between like we could see that there was some, like, little rock, like, shale-type things. But we could bust them open with a skid steer. So we're like, it won't be bad. Like, all right, they'll have to work a little extra. And it wasn't until you get a little deeper that, like, there was just no way an excavator with a bucket was going to get that off. Did they ever say something like, are you sure you want the pool here?

You know, a little further from the house. It's a new thing. People do a nice long path. It didn't look any better. It wasn't like they found a rock. The whole thing was rock. People are like, whoa. And I'm like, how bad is it?

Like, you know, you've seen this before, right? And they're like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Probably like one, maybe even two pools a year like this. So that's how uncommon it is, right? You know, one in every whatever whatever you get to be that guy that's fun yeah yeah usually it goes pretty smooth but this will be an ordeal sir you're gonna be like we're not gonna need that pool liner we're just gonna carve your pool from the rock that is the earth here if you like the quarries that you can swim in. Yeah. I've got my good friend Pablo and his team

coming to help out. They got their pickaxes. Maybe Julio with a tattoo tear drop now to remember that day. All for my homies. We lost him in the pool last year. They're taking the pool up. I think they're coming tomorrow.

Yeah, I don't know. But they're on CP time. They weren't black, though. But they're colored. I guess. I don't know if I understand what colored means exactly. We get to decide, you see. No, I don't think that... Who is called people of color? Because colored people is super antiquated,

obviously. And then people of color, which is the same thing, but you add an of. Like, you're like the director of accounting. Yeah. It's a firm or something. They made it a little whimsical, and suddenly it's fine again. Like, fucking J.R.

I always mess up his name. Like, J.R. Martin. I always mess up his name. Like J.R. Martin is writing about a new kind of elf or something. Oh, the people of color from the far away shores. Ah, yeah, yeah, those guys. Now, if he wrote it, he would have called them the colored folk. Ah, the colored folk. Because he always writes people as mysterious out in those lands, probably. So a Republican congressman got shot

while what, practicing for a baseball game or something? yeah, so I guess the Republicans have like a little baseball league or something like that and there was a bunch of them out there playing and this guy opened fire with a rifle, he was a

Bernie Sanders they said it was a rifle. And I heard it shooting, so I just assumed it was an AR-15. Because if it had been an AK, they love to say AK-47 if it is. So I assumed it was an AR-15 or something. But I heard it shooting. So semi-auto, pop, pop, pop, pop. They shot the, I can't think of his name, Price or whatever that congressman's name.

Sainty or something. It starts with an S. Neither one of us know it. Shot him in the hip. And it didn't sound like he was doing very well. It sounded like he could very easily die from his injuries. Yeah, I saw that today. Yesterday they were like,

all right, he's out of surgery and we're hoping for the best. Scalise. Yeah. And then today I saw something that was like, he's in grave condition, meaning they've done everything they can, but he could still very well die of his injuries his wounds from two hours ago

his condition the page is loading uh improves but it's still critical so that's you know marginally good news yeah but yeah that was pretty that was insane do you hear the the guy before he started shooting he asked a bystander if this was a Republican or a Democrat practice? Yeah, yeah. And then he opened fire. I didn't know he asked that. Yeah, he's a huge, he's like a hated Trump. Oh, don't say that.

The Democrats do not want to claim him as one of their own. I've already been through that hellfire on Reddit. You should see the comments of like, he's not one of ours. He's one of yours, Bernie bro. Republicans should support this. They should be like, look, the whole thing about the Second Amendment is to overturn your government in case it gets tyrannical.

And if you're looking at this thing through the blue lens, that's what he did. This is the Republican wet dream. It's decades old. If you're a total retard. I've got old if you're if you're a total retard in case i ever have to take over the government that does work that works if you're a retarded person who thinks that being insane and singularly angry by yourself and being a lone wolf is the same thing as you know the tea party back when we were not the fucking eight years ago tea party the

original one where we actually recognized tyranny and and took shit back not not like if it were one dude like some like if the british were treating us all right and it wasn't too awful and there was one guy with a bunch of tea and bombs and went i'm gonna get the king and he sprints and he does that they would have remembered it as do you remember that fucking tea bomb and maniac like it wasn't that bad like no but that's the thing. It's pretty fucked up. Every revolution starts with one man. Not necessarily true.

Actually, yeah, actually, not necessarily untrue. I just made that up. I was hoping you'd go along with it. I was thinking about that for a second. I'm like, oh, actually, wait, no, that's definitely definitionally false. Every journey starts with one step. I just ran with it. You know, when there was only one step on the beach,

I was carrying you or something. But yeah, you know, look, I'm not on this guy's team or anything, but I'm like, you know, through that lens of like, if you don't like your government, you just shoot them. And Trump was like, hey, maybe the Second Amendment guys do have something they could do if Hillary took charge, right? Like, remember that?

We all remember that. This guy did what pro-gun people have been saying guns are for. No, but he didn't. No, he didn't. There are no pro-gun people who say that guns are for assassinating our politicians. and attacking someone at a baseball track. Guns are for assassinating our politicians. They are for overturning an unjust and immoral government

that has gone against itself. It's not for hunting down your president or your local politician. It's for fighting the war against the United States Army. It's for fighting, it's for a well-formed militia that we're going to band together under

General Trump and, and you know go in there god i hope it wouldn't be him would it no of course not it wouldn't be anybody he's good at the military he's he'd be the guy oh he's great the military the best ask anyone but that's the thing that kyle just got perfectly right is that fighting against tyranny is fighting against tyranny it's not assassinating as a lone wolf one political leader or fucking going to a baseball practice in the morning to just be a serial killer at their not serial killer uh spree killer because it would all be in one day i really hope that and you're the only reason that he wasn't able to like totally mow people down

capital is because the one guy that he got in the hit, got shot in the hip, Scalise, or whatever we established his name was, he was the only guy high enough ranking, I guess, that had security that was there. And if those guys hadn't been there, he'd have been totally fucked. And then I guess it was Capitol Police that showed up a little bit later

and ended up killing the guy. Yeah, they had fucking handguns against an AR. I can't even imagine that fight. That is not one you want to be part of. Just so outgunned. It'd be hard to shoot a man across a baseball field with a fucking pistol with him returning fire. That's not something that anybody is going to be able to do. To Kyle's point, I've seen a lot of like, oh, he's not really a Bernie bro.

He wasn't a huge Bernie fanatic at all. Bernie went on the floor of the Senate, right? And he was like, this guy's not with me. I listened to that clip. Bernie said 100% all the correct stuff that he should be saying. And his rhetoric is not responsible for this at all.

Nope. But he's a total piece of shit hypocrite also because the Gifford thing that happened in 2011, verifiably not tied to Sarah Palin's chart at all. And Bernie Sanders raised money off of that under the guise that it actually was to do with that. So, you know, shoes on the other foot, Bernie. How's that feel? I don't know. It's verifiably not tied to it.

It's verifiably untrue. This guy that tried the killing here has a whole Facebook page. He's an enormous political guy. Hates Trump. He worked on the Sanders campaign. I know, I'm going to talk about the guy. I was making the comparison. He hates, hated

Trump. Loved Bernie. Hated all the, everything to do with Trump, talked about how great it would be if he died and all that shit. That guy, Robert Lee Loeffner, I think his name was, the guy who shot Gifford. They always have three names, these kind of people. You know, and that guy, he was unable to in trial because he was found to be a paranoid schizophrenic a genuinely crazy person hadn't it didn't have to do with with politics with him he was genuinely a crazy person wasn't politically motivated and he shot no he was he his like dossiers like his uh what's it called the manifesto manifesto got released and he's genuinely a crazy person like he had complete

mess apprehensions about reality as a whole like the color he thought kathy griffin was the spider queen or something like that i'm sure he did but like that it's verifiably different and the only point is but now we should people shouldn't be like blaming fucking bernie sanders rhetoric for this like he's not he wasn't ever like actually calling for violence you know i don't know it's just a slippery slope if you start saying that like all these you know oh this is the fault of fucking bernie you know he incited this violence well no no he didn't and that's pretty dangerous precedent to set because then you can really start making comparisons between oh this person said this and that can kind of be construed as promoting

violence maybe it's not just, you know, political discussion. I don't know. It's fucked up. Ad time. Yeah. A little pregnant pause there. I like everybody to get worked up for the ad. They're waiting. They want to hear it. It's about MeUndies.

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It's like an enormous hairy egg. Here's what I found. His name was Jared Lee Loeffner, and the New York Times literally had to pull back their article, because they wrote an article yesterday that said this. In 2011, when Jared Lee Loeffner opened fire in a supermarket

parking lot, grievously wounding Representative Giffords and killing six people, the link to political incitement was clear. Before the shooting, Sarah Palin's political action committee circulated a map of targeted electoral districts that put Ms. Gifford and 19 other Democrats under stylized crosshairs. Keep in mind, they wrote this fucking yesterday

as a clear attempt to deflect from the Alexandria thing with the Bernie supporter. They had to release today a retraction saying, uh-huh, yeah, you guys called us on our shit. There's actually, yeah, there's no evidence there's any tie between her, Paley, and the guy was crazy. Like, they literally had to do that today.

Yeah, so he had some political opinions. He didn't believe that women should be in positions of power. That was one of the reasons why he targeted her specifically. I bet he got along with his mom. He was also really against abortion, but he was also against christians which usually people who are against abortion are pretty pro-christian he he's all over the map it i think you'd have to work pretty hard to paint him as like like this guy was pretty clearly a democrat who hated republicans and shot one this guy jared lee lofton was just crazy crazy crazy

he had a 5-7 pistol, if I remember correctly. We were just talking about this the other night. Not a good murder weapon. No, I thought 5.7s were really good. Kyle has a face that says it's a very good murder weapon. Well, he killed six people, right? Oh, well. Like proof's in the pudding.

Yeah, I remember. You had a 5.7 in your house, and you thought the round was too small. Yeah, I got the thing. I have one. I don't care for it. First of all, it's you thought the round was too small. Yeah, I got the thing. I have one. I don't care for it. First of all, it's like an $1,100 or $1,200 pistol. The iron sights that come with it aren't great. It shoots that snappy, like 5.7 by 28 millimeter round.

The same thing the P90 shoots. It's a high velocity, small.22 caliber round, basically. And it's just like a 9mm is heavy and blunt and I think that's what you want in a pistol cartridge. You want to hit whatever's in front of you with a lot of force right now and the 5.7's

benefits are penetration, yeah, penetration and depending on the ammo, you can shoot through most soft body armor if you've got the black tip shit. But even the ballistic tip stuff that anyone can buy, I've shot through two car doors with that and then hit the target on the other side. You know, through a P90, which is a longer barrel and more higher velocity than the pistol. But still, the round goes through shit.

It's just not what I would want. goes through shit i just it's just not what i would want i i always remember hearing the story of a local SWAT team that shot a guy like 12 or 13 times with their full auto p90 and a standoff and and i was like what happened and they were like well he he screamed stop shooting me really so just like punched right through him basically i guess and that's what i imagine i imagine like little penetrating holes in and out, whereas if you get shot with a.45, it mushrooms out to this big, nasty, fat thing that's emptying all of its energy into the target, whereas those smaller bullets might have a tendency

to penetrate through the target, and then you don't have that energy displacement that you want. I think that's the only reason Gabby Giffords survived is because she was shot in the head and if it were a larger caliber at all, she wouldn't have made it. I feel like I heard about that. Who's to say the angle of entry, what part of her brain was hit,

it sounds silly, but we don't need some parts as much as we need the others. If it gets big and slow, a musket might have bounced off the skull compared to a penetrator like the 5-7. Who knows? Who knows? Other news, I don't know how true it is, but the Washington Post, a liberal but real paper. It's liberal, but it's not like fake news or anything. Not like the New York Times. New York Times is probably the most respected newspaper on the planet.

Not in the White House. It's not true. I would say Wall Street Journal still hasn't been there, right? I think you're in the minority, but... I don't know. I'll go wall. Trump is apparently under investigation now. The thing is that it's like officials say,

and they're protecting their sources. So that's been in the... Trump is now calling everything that doesn't have name sources fake news. But apparently Trump is under investigation from Mueller for obstruction of justice. I believe that. It's not a criminal investigation.

It's a counterintelligence investigation. Oh? Yeah. How is... I don't fully know the all the differences I was listen to Ben Shapiro talk about it and he obviously elucidated it way better because when you go to Harvard and you And you learn about this you're able to like whip it out and I'm like, oh, yeah That kind of makes sense like two minutes later. I'm like what the fuck But that was something that I

Understood to me that it was significant but who knows it's it's it's weird that like also i feel like these things come in stages right like yeah first trump's not under investigation oh everyone you know your campaign manager your national security advisor you're this you that everybody around you is under investigation under investigation but not you in particular, Trump. You know, we're just gathering evidence now. Right. You know, Trump is obviously the center of this flower that they're investigating. And even if they're just looking at every petal right now, they're looking at you, Trump. But they'll protect Trump.

The end of this thing, no matter what happens, no matter what happens, is going to be Trump stays in the presidency. They will not. Well, with Nixon, there's no collusion with Russia. Nixon was named as a co-conspirator. A president cannot be named under criminal law, it sounded like the other day. CNN was going around and around on that the other day. They were like, we don't think there's a process for filing charges against the president in a criminal matter.

Nixon was named as a co-conspirator and and and that's how that worked but you've got a republican congress and i think that that's the end end all be all right like they're just not gonna gonna throw out one of their own they're not gonna drag their own party through the mud i can't even feel that bad for trump with a lot of this shit like it is clear that leaks are coming out in a targeted way to fuck with him. The fact that Comey told him three times, you're not under investigation, and Trump was like, can you tell the public I'm not under investigation?

He's like, no, no, no, no. I can't do that, obviously. I'll make sure everything fucking else is leaked about this, except for the fact that all the implications are leaked, but not the fact that you're not under investigation. But Trump handled this like such a fucking idiot. He should have just let it play out. He didn't collude with Russia, so let that come out. Let it all happen.

If it happens that someone along the way was doing something nefarious, get them out of there. You should be on that team too, Trump, obviously. But then he fires Comey at the dumbest possible time, opening up a door that now he could get in trouble for you know the obstruction of evidence of uh yeah the obstruction of justice thing it's still so far from that but now he could get in trouble with that he literally during an investigation so that this investigation would stop right like and that's that's not an obstruction of justice you're allowed

to do that he can he can fire comey for it if he wants. And also there's no precedent of Comey actually reacting in a way that it seems threatened at all. Like he said, oh, I was afraid. And so what I did was absolutely nothing and continued to defy what the president wanted. I was so scared. I was so scared that I kept leaks going and didn't do what he wanted. And, you know, when Loretta Lynch did it to me, I actually listened and I started referring to it as a matter. And I kind of like shut the whole thing down. But this time, you know, I was so frightened i didn't do anything at all and you know it's just like that doesn't play out like you're smart enough to be frightened

or scared yeah i remember those terms it was definitely implied that he was a fearful for his job would be a better way to put it like if he was so fearful of losing his job and he wasn't yeah yeah he definitely did he wants to he wanted to keep his job i felt like he was instructed when when when trump emptied the room said hey everyone leave i want to talk to comey privately and then he talks to comey and says hey man i hope that you let this michael flynn thing go uh he's a really good guy and that he took that to mean that he wanted him like he wasn't just like hoping it wouldn't rain this afternoon he was saying look i... The question was, did you take that as a directive from the president? The answer was, yes, I did.

Which is why I did nothing. And, like, it doesn't play out, you know? Really? Just because the president told him to do something the president shouldn't have told him? What he did do is he went to Jeff Sessions and said, hey, we need to stop having this direct line from the president to the FBI. That's not how things should work. He did that because he felt like what Trump was doing was improper. I guess I just don't know what the burden of proof for obstruction of justice is. And to me, just as a layman public opinion type thing, if my boss says, hey,

everybody else leave. I need to talk to Woody privately. And then, hey, man, I hope you really see your way to do this. That, to me, comes across as a directive. And then when he fired him and said in public to Lester Holt, like, yeah, you know, that guy was crazy. It was my decision to fire him. I was doing it. And he told, I think, the Russians, like, yeah, now that I got rid of this guy, there was too much pressure.

There was this cloud over me. I should have less pressure on this Russia thing because I got rid of Comey. It is very clear to me he got rid of Comey so that he wouldn't be investigated. It didn't work. But that doesn't – like firing him does not slow down an investigation at all. That's his motivation. But you don't know that. You know that he fired him.

He said that he fired him to do with Russia stuff. He said this whole Russia thing is a lie. It's made up. You know, and Comey is not willing to come out and tell the American people that I'm not under investigation. And Trump, being a narcissistic, fickle idiot in a lot of situations, just came out and fucking fired him. And now he's going to get in trouble for obstructing justice in a case where there was no evidence at all that he was being investigated about in the first place so it's like he's being investigated for obstructing justice into something that doesn't exist like and also something i read

about obstruction of justice is that if charges haven't been filed on the person yet as criminal charges have not been filed against flynn or Manafort or anyone then it's not obstruction of justice to say yeah we're not sure that there was any justice to obstruct yet I think is the is the deal right like it's just so far from uh from anything happening it's just a lot of um just a lot of fire uh smoke but not much fire and and I and I I see all the signals. It doesn't look good. But in the end, all that matters is Trump ain't going nowhere. Trump's going to be the president. He fired the head of the FBI. I was telling

Sergey Kislyak that because he wanted to relieve pressure over this Russian stuff. It doesn't quote him directly here, but something close. The pressure part is in quotes. That sounds pretty close, yeah. I just wish it... I wanted to hear pressure and then get...

What was after pressure exactly? To what you were saying, I wanted to make clear that I agree with you on how stupid and shady it is, the way he did it. Because that's just dumb. That's dumb politics. It shows that he's impatient

and he doesn't surround himself with anyone who has the balls to say, don't do that. Which is kind of a character flaw. And so I think he did a horrible job with it. But there's still there's no evidence at all at all that he has any collusion with Russia or Putin whatsoever. And now that there's just no evidence that he did it in private. But no, that's not collusion.

Collusion isn't anything he did. There's no evidence of his collusion with Russia whatsoever. He didn't collude with them, which is why the narrative now is deflecting. Collusion refers to being private. Cal corrected this last week. But in public, I read the quote every week. It seems like he definitely told the Russians to hack her email. Right, because it's in public.

Collusion is this sort of back channels thing. And it's not a crime what he did. They had already hacked her emails at that point and were releasing them. Like, it was already hacked at that time. That's, like, it was already found. There was already a big to-do about it. But my point with it all is Trump needs to get his shit under control. He's handling it, a lot of shit, badly, like a fucking idiot. And he is, he is, he's just like, if you shit badly like a fucking idiot and he is he is uh dan he it's

just like if you're innocent and all this dude like why are you doing your best to step on every landmine every two minutes it's like what are you thinking it's aggravating to watch him sometimes the trump thing apparently he was relieving pressure on his administration over its ties to russia that's the closest i can get to a quote so that's why he fired me yeah and there's no collusion with russia and the media knows this and that's why they're completely changing to the obstruction of justice narrative now because the entire russian collusion thing did not pan out it's not at all it's never been confirmed at all that's why the leaks came out in the way they did if the leaks came if the leaks actually were just random people throwing stuff out there it eventually would have come out that oh yeah trump isn't even under investigation

well that really kind of fucking ruins our narrative at this point in time shit but no every detail other than that comes out in a clear targeted leaking campaign and the leaks are a big problem i don't think coming from the inside. To say that Trump wasn't under investigation, I think that's just because he's president. It's not that Trump's not under investigation because he's so innocent. He's not under investigation because he's president. So everybody surrounding Trump. He's not under investigation because there's no evidence that he did anything wrong. I don't think they go straight after the president.

They're after Manafort. No, they would. They're trying to go through Flynn and Manafort to get anything on Trump about this Russian regime. They don't care about Flynn and Manafort. They have a huge incentive to go, alright, well we don't actually have anything on Trump. So what we're going to do is leak

a bunch of lies and implies and link him to people that we can get something on and then we just won't have any leaks come out that are about how he didn't actually fucking do this. So what this is all about, the end goal of this is to get one of Trump's underlings, one of these generals or someone, and find that they are guilty of something that we can put them in fucking prison for. And then to force them to testify as to a crime that Trump actually committed. It's to give them immunity and say, yes, Donald Trump ordered me to say this thing to that person knowingly. He said that. That's the end goal that the Democrats

want. That's the whole point of this whole thing. I don't care about Flynn or that this guy didn't release that he was an agent for Turkey. No, they don't give a shit about any of that. They want to take Trump down, and you do that by finding him guilty of a crime, a real one. I don't think Comey had anything against Trump personally. Here's my take on it. No, no, no, but he's just a cool man. The Russians absolutely fucked with our election, right? In 39 different states, they tried to hack into the voting systems.

I'm told they weren't successful, but they tried it. They've got their fingerprints all over it. They definitely put out propaganda, and that went really wild on social media. The Russians undeniably... What propaganda did they put on social media? I can't name the articles, but that was a thing that they did. They manipulated the upvotes on Reddit.

That's a thing they did. No, no. Hold on. They did. I can go on. Maybe they did. I just am saying that they shut down. I tweeted something about this the other day. can go on they did maybe they did farms that maybe they did i just am saying that they they shut down like i i tweeted something about this the other day i go on reddit and i don't go to the donald and so i never see shit from the donald i don't go to anti-trump

subreddits and i see 50 of them i see so many trump anti-trump subreddits where you click on it and there's fucking 600 people subscribed and they've got a bunch of posts with six upvotes and then one with 20,000. And it's like, you didn't even try and show that this isn't complete manipulation. Like, I'm just saying that the social media thing from the Russian side can be true. That Russian thing,

maybe it is true. I mean, the fact that the Donald was the most active subreddit for months and months really, I think, had more to do with it. And the more clear case is how all the players on Reddit are so heavily censored.

Unbelievably heavily censored. If you go to any politics forum on Reddit, they'll make intentional megathreads out of things they don't want to talk, you know, you don't want to see. I think that, I don't know how it involved administrators. Oh, the admin. I don't think that's true.

Yeah, the corruption is going to things you do want to see, right? Like when Comey. But not if it's the wrong perspective. No, you're wrong. Not if it's pro-Trump or anti-Hillary or anti-Bernie. It's politics. There's no more biased form on the Internet. I think you just said they do do it if it's pro-Trump.

No, no, no no not politics uh for example when the comey hearing happened right rather than have that thing go all over the front page they made one mega threat that's what they do and it doesn't matter if it's pro trump or anti-trump they make it a mega threat my what i'm saying is that there is it's brazenly obvious going on Reddit or social media that there is a concerted effort to boost certain stories and really diminish other ones. Like going on Twitter, sometimes they have like, even the fucking hashtags are trumped up,

where they'll have like 60 people will be tweeting like, march for fucking equal pay or something, and then that's the number one thing, and they make sure it's going. Like on Reddit, it's absolutely – Kyle, I know you go on Reddit quite a bit. These anti-Trump subreddits are all over the fucking place, and they are on the front page every day all the time. Can I talk? It's my turn. It's totally my turn. You're both right to some extent because what was happening before, the Donald was covering the front page up. And it was partially due, I'm sure, to how popular they were. But there was also a lot of vote manipulation.

And it goes further than just vote manipulation coming from Russia. The Russians were also influencing hashtags on Twitter that would maybe make Hillary look bad. Like if it was hashtag, what were they saying when she was like falling down? Hashtag puppet or something, marionette, or just plenty of things to make her look bad. There was a concerted effort to do that. But what's happened since then is that Reddit itself, I don't know where it starts,

I'm sure all the way to the top, has definitely made it so that the Donald's voting is weighed differently and that the outcome is different than it would definitely made it so that the Donald's voting is weighed differently, and that the outcome is different than it would have been. And that outcome is very different than what you will get if you have, let's say we put two posts, one on, what's it, E-SIST or whatever, the Trump resistance, or the march against Trump, either of those subreddits, if that thing gets, let's just, 5,000 upvotes, 2,000 downvotes in the next 45 minutes, it will be categorized completely different in the grand scale of things as far as all goes than opposed from the Donald will. It's just the Donald gets squashed down now.

I see maybe one Donald thing a day, and I see at least four to six anti-Trump things a day. You don't think that could be a result of Donald enthusiasm? I do think it could be a total result of, and maybe not just Donald enthusiasm, but it's like, we fucking won! I think that's what a lot of the Donald people are probably saying, right? They already won, so the game is over. And then there's also, like, look,

his disapproval ratings are very high. His approval ratings are very low. There's a lot of Trump people who've jumped off that bus. Yeah. I really don't see a lot of Trump people who have jumped off. Well, alright, so there are people who've jumped off that bus yeah i i really yeah a lot of people betrayed well all right so there are people who there were there were a lot of one issue voters out there right so if trump seems like he's dragging his foot on the border wall or if you want to look at it through a different lens if it seems like trump is having a hard time getting congress to

go along with his border wall whatever you want to look at it, maybe they're upset with Trump greatly over that. There's a lot of one-issue voters. I don't think that he's got, what is it, 32% approval ratings just because of Russia. I think that's such a small part of it that the people who really care about this Russia thing hated Trump all along. The people who were for him, there are very few people who are out there who were Trump supporters who are now going like, wow, this really looks like Trump's a puppet, huh? No, we don't believe that. Nobody believes that Trump's a puppet to the Russians. He's just not. I don't think he is. I don't think he intentionally colluded with them. I think there was probably some inappropriateness that went on at every level with people talking to people who shouldn't have

been talking to people at certain times. And there was definitely some effort, it seems, to establish backdoor channels. But I can see from his point of view, Juan, that would all make a lot of sense if you tell him, like, sir, there's two ways to do this business deal. We can either put you on the phone with Vladimir Putin in secret, because he's the guy who actually owns that oil company, because it's nationalized over there, or we can have, like, you talk to one of your bureaucrats who will talk to another bureaucrat who will phone the ambassador who will call their ambassador who will call the guy who runs sputnik oil who will then call his boss who will like elbow vladimir putin and then maybe we'll play some phone tag and get this deal worked out i can i can easily see trump going like

nah give me the guy on the phone and let's do this yeah maybe yeah but i could see that yeah and what i don't know actually if it's inappropriate to do that before you're president it's definitely uncouth i didn't like that that all of a sudden he was like he was out in the public eye when obama was still president because no one else has ever done that that was very unprofessional and it could have caused some actual issues. Our stance in the world is, in a lot of ways, decided by our president. And all of a sudden we kind of had two stances, it seemed, in regards to a few different things. I can definitely agree with you there. Trump would have shown a lot more character, a lot more class, thank you, if he had stood down while the guy that he has – his rivalry with Obama is like something out of like – like Golden State just won, right? Steph Curry. Over with Golden State. Durant, yeah. Or one. And now all of the Nike commercials are like showing Durant getting shat on by the talking heads over the years. Like, ah, he's not, he doesn't man up. He doesn't have this.

He doesn't have that. And then it's just a montage of him crushing it, of course, while they talk bad about him. And then him winning. And I feel like that's kind of the situation we have here. When I found out the real story about kevin durant and like how that went down i don't know shit about basketball obviously but when i found out that he got beat that his team got knocked out of the playoffs last year by the golden state warriors i guess and so he left that team and joined the golden state warriors for a huge pay cut as like a like best grasp to

try and win it like i lost some respect there where it was almost like like that sounds stupid because it is a business and he wants to win you know but isn't like tell me if you also kind of agree like isn't that a little bit shitty to get beat and then immediately take a pay cut and go to the team that beat you that's already like the best team in the league just to make it better. And then like, it depends on his exact point of view. Right. Because when, when at first glance or at first,

listen, you think that like, I picture Kevin Durant and his team and like everybody's Kumbaya getting along. We're just not good enough, but maybe if we all work to work together hard, like we could rise that level. But in reality, I'm picturing like maybe together hard, like we could rise that level. But in reality, I'm picturing like maybe Kevin hated some fucking assholes on that team. He didn't like his coach. Didn't feel like they were running the right kind of offense. They

weren't utilizing him well enough in defense. He wasn't getting enough minutes on the floor. And meanwhile, he just played against the fucking A team. And clearly this is where he wants to go to get his ring. Taylor, here here's my question for you ray bork played for boston for ages he was a legend there right couldn't win a cup right boston just boston doesn't win cups they're like the red socks of old uh so he went to colorado and then you know the story i'm sure almost instantly won a cup with colorado was he bad was he a traitor or is it okay to go to the top team and get your cup i guess more of the like i totally get to go into the top team to get the cup or the nba championship trophy it was more just like the added thing of like you're on a team with someone

and well i would think differently if like ray bork were playing for the bruins and they got somehow knocked out of the playoffs that year by color and then immediately he's like I'm out Colorado you're my guys I know I was just hitting you guys and you were hitting me and all that but I'm on your team now like it's almost like that defeat aspect of it so soon before the decision taints it a bit I think yeah yeah I agree I can picture that with baseball um I remember like there was a couple times that like baseball players I remember there was a couple times that baseball players went on the teams and then when they played against us. I'm trying to think of

specific examples. I remember Javier Lopez, our catcher for the Braves, went and played for... He may have played for the Indians for a while, maybe the Yankees for a while, and then maybe for... I don't know, the Padres or the Orioles or something like that. I just remember

really hating him because he had done that. Maybe David Justice, I'm mixing him in there with some of those teams they went to. Yeah, David Justice also went. Every time that would happen, I would end up hating those guys. If I felt like he had went somewhere else for more money, I would hate him. But the me who's not a fan of any team really particularly, I'm like, yeah, that fucking makes sense. Go make your life-changing money and perhaps accomplish the greatest goal there is to accomplish

at the thing you love the most in life. Why would I tell you to stop and keep wearing that goofy Indian on your shirt instead of an NY? Yeah, I can also totally see that. I bet 10 years from now after kevin durant is retired if he had stayed with his team and not won a championship ever i bet he would look back and be like god damn it like there's always going to be that piece of the

puzzle that i couldn't quite get like because at the like 10 years from now it's just going to be did you ever win an nba championship yeah yeah i won one oh yeah okay i'm coming around i can see yeah i could have won one on that team just let me sit at the sit on the bench and i'll stand up and like throw towels around and do whatever all the people in basketball do which apparently is like totally cool that's i don't get how like you're just allowed to walk on the court in basketball have you noticed that like when you watch highlights like they'll sink a basket and then like everybody on the team will take like three steps out on the court cheering.

They're like seven feet tall, so three feet out and they're all out on the court. I think the clock stops a lot. Maybe they're taking advantage of that. The coaches do it too. I've also seen them get warnings and get in trouble

for doing stuff like that too. I guess maybe they enforce it get, like, warnings and, like, get in trouble for doing stuff like that, too. I guess maybe they enforce it occasionally and sometimes not. I like seeing guys get in trouble in sports because, you know, their tempers are high. These are adults playing a game, you know, and all of a sudden, like, another adult's like, you fucked up, bro. You didn't bounce the ball enough.

What the fuck are you talking... I did bounce it enough now you're obviously you're a grown man arguing with another grown man in front of three million people over whether you bounce the ball three times or two it's not any matters it's not a game it's not a game there's millions on the line there's it's just a game why you get the? It's not just a game. It's a business. It's a career. It's your living. Call of Duty wasn't just a game to Wings of Redemption because it was a sense of his self-worth and it was how he

put food on the table. It makes it not just a game anymore, even if it's a game. Like two weeks ago, once again, I turned on our hockey to find the highlights and one of the first ones was Sidney Crosby disliking a call and throwing a water bottle out on the ice and I was like oh god damn it like I'm feeling like a real idiot like as like 220 minutes earlier I'm like Woody you're in the

past this is this is in 2009 and then I watched the clip and he's me you know it's like god damn it guys among the things you could throw out the water ball seems pretty low impact right like if and then I watch the clip and he's meh. It's like, god damn it. Among the things you could throw out, though, water ball seems pretty low impact, right? Like if you threw a blue Gatorade out there and it got all over the ice, maybe that'd make a little bit of a mess. I like it when coaches throw tantrums in hockey and it happens every so often. Coaches get so pissed off they'll grab like

15 sticks out in the ice and they spray around and it's like, ah. Blame that shit up. That's what it is in baseball. That's exactly what it is because the umpires, the officials are in charge of keeping the play surface right. That usually means dusting off

home plate and not much more. They'll kick all the fucking dirt they can on that home plate. If they're really crazy, they'll get down on their hands and knees and make a mound of dirt. Did you see the guy who stole the bases? He did all of it at once. Sometimes they'll take the base and just

sling it out on the outfield so you gotta walk out there and get it. But sometimes they'll fucking... Fucking seconds coming with me, you cunt! The baseball managers always seem like way more at their own pace with their tantrums because everything's so spread out that they're going to fuck with that they're like,

and another thing. Squishing it over as they slowly walk over. And I'm taking this base. I'll be there in 10 seconds if you want to try and stop me. I'm taking it. I'm going to sue. I'm going to Raws and Fags. John Tortorella.

I'm no expert, but there's a set of things you can do. For one, you can't touch the ump. You can't touch them at all. But apparently you can kick dirt on his feet, and you can mess with the plate, and you can steal some bases. But touching them all of a sudden, that goes wildly over the line, even if it's just an accidental finger on the shirt type thing. So they'll be centimeters from each other.

Nose to nose, yelling, yelling, yelling. That's okay, but don't touch. You touch, all of a sudden it's a bit... It's fun to watch them. You can't curse at them audibly. You can't yell. You can't say fuck you loud enough for anybody else to know that you just

insulted that guy. I don't know where this rule is written down or how exactly it works but in practice here's what happens you'll be batting he calls it a strike you know it was a ball you fucking like do like a vampire cough or something fucking bullshit like you can say it as loud as you want if he can't see your lips you know you can as long as you look the opposite fucking way and go fucking blind jackass that's cool but if you direct that toward that man over there you're out of the game you're trouble so that's such a silly rule i know i wish you were allowed they didn't get that from hockey you're allowed to scream at uh john tortorella was the coach this happened two years ago he was the coach the coach for the Vancouver Canucks at the time,

and they were playing the Calgary Flames. And this would be a great clip to watch if you're able to do that. And the beginning of the game, they're both Canadian teams, not too far from each other, I assume. And so they're rivals of sorts. And before the game started, the Flames coach, if I recall correctly, put out his fourth line, the bruisers. And that's not what you usually do at the start of the game.

You put the good guys out there usually. And so Tortorella goes, I'm putting my bruisers out there at the start of the game. And so the start of the game was just both fourth lines. And both of those guys are kind of like, oh, like, all right. Like, we're out here starting the game. Guys, I was in the minors yesterday. And so they're all out there and meanwhile you know the glass uh partition between the two benches both coaches are the calgary coach is a little more

classy so he's still in like his standing area and tortorella is over there leaning around to the calgary bench going that's what you want that's what you want like screaming at him and so the game starts and all five players drop their equipment and pair off with someone, and all five of them are fighting. And then there are ten people in the panel. So both teams' fourth lines and first-line defensemen are out of the game for a bit. And in between periods, he got so mad, Tortorella got so mad,

that he went to the Flames Locker room He went to the visiting locker room And went in, it was screaming And like, security had to be like Holding him back, like, Coach Tortorella Oh, this is really fucking inappropriate He's like, yeah, I'll show you what's fucking inappropriate Put your guys out there like that, huh?

Like, just do his fucking coach screaming He's American, not Canadian as a coach, which is rare And also the reason I think he got so animated at that. Instead of saying, oh, I'm real sorry, you know. Sometimes a couple of kids get thrown. I just imagine the other guy just being like, oh, you want to fucking go? Fucking Miko doesn't even skate. I found him in K1.

K1. He gets out there. He wears grippy cleats onto the ice. You thought he had a hockey stick. No, that's a bo staff. He's about to open a real can of cool bass on your whole team. He's out there. I wonder if there are people who fight better on skates, right?

Because here's the thing. At the beer league level, the guy that wins the fight is often the better skater, you know, because that guy's more stable and a lot of fighting has to do with throwing the other guy off balance in a hockey fight um but at like the pro level they're all good skaters i don't think anyone loses fights because they get pushed around too easily they they live their life on skates are there people who are like i swear you'd be way more badass at the beer league level if you had grippy cleats you know you'd be oh yeah so solid that other guy would be a toy for you to toss around yeah

you want a pair of if you were the fighter the guy who's who may be ready to come off the bench you'd want two pieces of footwear make a pair of skates for sure and then a pair of steel cleats or if you've got a storm the fucking ice right you had like the old bottoms yeah the old timey steel cleats that were more like thumb tacks on the bottom then the new but the new baseball cleats are a Bunch of blades dull blades basically in different Angles business doing it with the cleats though because if you're up against me in a beer league you're gonna beat my ass But if you're up against a real professional hockey fighter what he's gonna do He's gonna grab right here on your jersey, and he going to use his professional NHL legs to skate backwards really quick. You're going to fall, and then he's going to do the thing that you'll see in hockey fights where they grab and they push you back, and then they pull their hand back and they punch you like that.

And that's exactly what would happen. I was going to say that. I know I'm the least knowledgeable, but I definitely am aware and have seen the technique of the hockey fight. It's a whole different kind of combat, and the rules are very different from a lot of other kinds of combat because of the ice, the skates, the pads, the loose jerseys, the helmets that may or may not be on. There's a lot of variables that aren't there in regular combat. I guess in grappling, sometimes grabbing the clothes is a big deal. Yeah, there's a little gi work in there, right?

Gi work is essential in hockey. Just the way that controlling the other guy is two-thirds of the fight. I just imagine choking a guy out with his own jersey. Just get behind him. I love all the shit-talking videos because they're all Canadian. When the real fighter goes up against the guy who kind of got conscripted into the fight. Because if someone does

something shitty to you, to a teammate, it's your duty to go over and fight them. And oftentimes, the bruiser will do something shitty and the closest guy is like a 20-year-old rookie who's like, oh, Jesus. So he has to skate over there and start getting in a fight with him and immediately, there's one clip of the big bruiser guy coming in.

He's like, oh, yeah, which shoulder do you want? Left, right? Which one do you prefer, huh? Because you always grab the other person's shoulder there. And he was offering, like, which one do you want? I'll let you pick. It's going to go great for you, I promise. I would grab their left.

I would always grab their left, right? I'd want that crossover. I feel like this arm can then really... First of all, I feel like I control their left arm completely now. They're not going to be able to come up and over with that. And I feel like their right arm has to come over my right arm now. And I just feel like if I pull them this way, then they're turning away from me,

and I can punch them behind the ear. I feel like I'd want the cross-shoulder thing. Because if you pull on their jersey here too hard, what they'll end up doing is they'll slip their arm out of their jersey and punch you. If I thought I had his arm and then a third arm came out of the neck

and fucking popped me, I'd be like, God, what a fucking serious error. Miscalculation. Don't. Don't. This whole thing came. I can see Kyle sticking with a one punch.

I sit in the box for five minutes like this. Hold my nose. It only takes one punch. It fucking hurts to get punched in the face. I boxed three weeks ago now. He hit me once. He hit me once. He hit me once and we quit.

It was like, God, that's such a wake-up call to life. End of the whole nature. Oh, God, we used to exist like this where this might happen at any fucking time. God damn, he had a 16-ounce glove. My boxing coach used to give me body shots that were hard. And I was just like, I asked him at one point, I'm like, when you're in a real boxing match, because he was like a pro boxer.

It wasn't like highly ranked or anything, but he was a pro boxer. I'm like, how much harder do you hit, like, when you're trying? Because it seems like this is full power. This seems like it's awful, you he was just he was just boxing me up man like i he could have gone lighter on me you know my my brazilian jiu-jitsu instructors they used to reward good behavior like they put me in a bind and if i executed the proper technique they'd allow that to go on uh yeah the boxing guys the culture was different he would just box the fuck out of me and yeah i've seen that so much

like guys getting fucked up in boxing um i there's a video and it's it's like blah blah blah whatever the guy's name is some some known fighter gets taken apart by 16 year old and like this guy's just destroying him in there to the point where he leaves the ring he runs away and everybody's just kind of like and he gets laughed at a little bit. He just got beaten badly by this amateur kid, and he literally runs from the ring. How could that happen? That's weird.

Was he drunk or something? I think the deal was he wasn't as good of a fighter as they thought he was or something like that. I wish I could pull up the video. It's been months since I've seen it. Yeah, I like watching this. It's almost as good as Cat Williams taking that beating from the child. You know what I like?

That was awesome. He's a teeny tiny little man. I've seen a couple videos like this. Like a guy will walk into a boxing ring like he's a gangster or something, thinking that his street fighting prowess would let him compete against people who train in boxing all the time. And they're like, all right, cool. Well, here's like a 15-and-a-half-year-old.

You want to go against him? And sure enough, like, it's just his form is right his technique is right his guard is impenetrable and uh you know it it doesn't happen right away because he's not a knockout uh hitter at 15 but sure enough you know over time clearly that the technique beats the bigger stronger older oh yeah and i've seen a couple videos like that and it's it's cool people forget like if you're not involved in fighting and i feel like more people know more now the ufc is bigger but they think that winning a fight is about like oh i get so mad you know i could kick a lot of ass because i completely lose my temper sometimes no no you can't like how's your cardio? Yeah, how's your cardio? How's your technique? You know there are other people who just considered their wild ass to be

Has anyone ever hit you before? Do you have any idea how badly it hurts? I know I can't be a professional fighter I know you know why because I'm a pussy when I get hit I don't want any more at all. If you hit me I am out Like I would much rather get in a fucking gun battle with you than some sort of hand-to-hand combat the fucking street because you're gonna fucking punch me in the face it's gonna hurt so bad it hurts something that nobody like nobody when someone says oh yeah i get so mad like i'm great in a fight it's like ah you you've revealed that you have never been in a fight yeah and so you are you're like watching fucking dragon ball

z seeing him go super saiyan and thinking that's that's like me being like oh i've never actually you've revealed that you have never been in a fight. And so you're like watching fucking Dragon Ball Z, seeing him go super saiyan, and thinking that's like me being like, oh, I've never actually taken a cooking class, I don't do a lot of research online, but I love high quality food. And so I know I could just grab some ingredients and whip up a Chef Ramsay fucking Michelin three-star thing. How do you know?

Because I just get mad at the food, and I just know where I want it to be. And I know I'm just emotional about it. It's like, no, you're going to end up with a bunch of fucking burned rice and shitty dry chicken. I do that with music. Oh, I love music so much. I get so into it. I bet I'd play it wonderfully.

No, you wouldn't. You wouldn't. No, no, no. I get to put a guitar in my hands and I could dance. So I would do that and it would just come out great. No, it wouldn't. You wouldn't. No, no, no. I put a guitar in my hands and I could dance. So I would do that and it would just come out great. No, it wouldn't. It would sound awful. That's someone who hasn't tried an instrument, hasn't cooked a huge meal, and has not been in a fight.

Right. So if you enter a guitar battle against someone who actually trains in guitar, you'll find yourself very surprised. That would do great. Yeah, but the martial arts are a little magical. If there are magic powers, the martial arts are among them, because once you have one, you are head and shoulders better than anyone else at physical combat. If you were a boxing guy with three years of experience, a normal man can't hit you anymore.

He just can't. If you're given a chance to defend yourself, now a normal man can't touch you in the face, unless you want him to. If you spend three years learning jujitsu, well, now you can kill almost any man you see in real life with your bare hands as long as he doesn't have a set of car keys or something to gouge your eye out. That's true in other things too.

Like the music example, you know? You spend three years learning to play guitar, you're head and shoulders above people who never learned. Yeah. Yeah. There's a parallel there. So, I don't know. Whatever.

Conor McGregor's going to lose, though, and I don't want him to. I hope he wins. I hope he shocks the world again. Of course! Yeah. I want Mayweather to win. Go, go, Mayweather. If God thinks I want Mayweather to win. Go, go Mayweather. If God

thinks I want Mayweather to win. Oh, wow. That explains the blues. I'm looking forward to betting on this thing. I'm looking forward to watching it. I'm looking forward to the aftermath. I'm glad it's happening. What a spectacle. It would be amazing

to experience. I feel like we already have greatness, right? We have a Muhammad Ali alive right now in combat sports and it's, it's Conor McGregor and the run he's had. Some people are going to call me a noob fan or whatever, but that's not even true. I, but like Conor McGregor has the two weight class champion thing, the run, it's a real Muhammad Ali with the talking. We're living a moment right now. There is a guy, and it's Conor McGregor, and he's awesome. And he's white.

Can you believe it? Yeah, but he's Irish. Yeah, that's worse than anything else. I was going to name a color or something. You're about to go on your power rankings. That'd be terrible. You should do that. Have a Velcro board behind you every week and be like,

I had a horrible incident at Nacho Fresh. So Mexicans are going down. Jews, on the other hand, had an excellent conversation with my accountant you are moving up you know and uh and you know uh and the undefeated champion of the race of power rankings, white people. And it's more like incredibly racist board where it just says white people and all the rest is like super segmented. East Asians, Japs. Right, we use like, is Wox a thing or is that just a cooking utensil? I'm not even sure.

No, Wox is not a thing. It will be on my board. It's a big cooking pot. Oh, that's a perfect one, though. Next time somebody comes around here cooking up their noodles, go around all slatty-eyed.

All slatty-eyed. The walks. Is that a good key? What you should do is next time anything happens in public and you're around Oh, slant your eye. The walks. Is that a good thing? Yeah, he walks. What you should do is next time anything happens in public and you're around people and an Asian does something bad, call them a walk. Oh. And people will be bamboozled because they'll be like, hey, you shouldn't say that. It's just me.

You yellow, greasy walk. All right. Well, then you've crossed the line. Wait a minute. I'm not sure if that's racist or not. I'm pretty sure. You know, you're kind of a racist inflection when you call me a wok. You fucking wok. Oh, I love

the sound. It's got the hard K at the end, and it sounds like it was a bad one, because it's at the same time as like Gook, you know, and that is one, or it was one. I don't know if it is anymore. I'm pretty sure it's still one. I don't think they like really recovered. I just mean like they phased it out. Like nobody says that. Like

Chinaman, nobody says that. Orientals? Chinaman doesn't sound like it's racist. Chinaman just sounds like American. Yeah, Chinaman I don't think is right. I think it was usually used with a racist connotation. It would probably be perceived as such by someone from that group.

I would not like to be called a Chinaman. I'd be okay with the American man. Yeah, American man. Because that's what we call ourselves. It seems like when I hear someone say Chinaman, I picture that you're directing me toward where I can buy some opium in an old frontierism town. Like, where do I get the opium?

They're like, oh, yeah, the dirty old Chinaman down the walk. Yeah, from the walks. Go talk to one of the fucking walks. They're always hanging out. Yeah. I feel like we should make up more racist slang like if Chinamen are walks then I don't know we'll have to mull this over and come

back with a good list next week good fake racial terms it's the opposite of when people try and like bring back remember in clerks when people try and bring back... Remember in Clerks when he tries to take back the term porch monkey? Someone was like, that's really racist.

He's like, I'm taking it back. We're doing the opposite of that where we're injecting new racial epithets into the ether. Throw some spaghetti at the wall. See what sticks. See how it goes. I like this. It's horrible.

We need something for Puerto Ricans. They might be a state soon. If they're going to be a state soon, they get to just be regular Americans. Oh. I wonder how they'll feel about that. Like, you're not Puerto Rican anymore. Heh heh. Do they lose all those

college programs and shit? Do they have any? That'd be great. Do Puerto Ricans have special colleges? I'm sure they do. Let's just throw a guess out there. Surely the Puerto Ricans get special treatment somewhere.

I don't even know who wins and loses. I knew that. I don't know who wins and loses if they become a state. They win, we lose. Is that the case? I think they're a poor, impoverished region that we're going to have to bring up to our standards of quality and such. I don't think they're going to...

There aren't a resource of doctors and scientists there working on anything. If we make Cuba maybe a state... I'm always hearing about medical advances in Cuba, which because of my closed-minded point of view, seems backwards because I always see them driving those 1950s fucking cars and shit.

That's just because of the embargo. I guess medical science goes on. No. Cuba does not have a good medical system. They kept Castro going. I haven't heard that they made big advancements. I just heard that they have public health care.

Let me find it. They cured something or found a better treatment for something. Let's see. Cuban medical advances. Not a way to make a 1957 Chevy transistor out of driftwood.

Make an iron lung out of a 357 carburetor. We got a 55 Bel Air to get 28 miles per gallon on grain alcohol. You don't talk about science. Come to Cuba. We've been rehousing those old Soviet missiles as grain silos. It says here Cuba has three major medical innovations that we may need.

Patents in the sciences conducting most of the world's clinical trials and published the most biomedical research. What do they actually do, though? I don't know, but there's three of them. More cancer treatments, that's number one. A treatment for diabetic foot ulcers, apparently. And a treatment for advanced head and neck tumors. I have a friend that's curing cancer.

I'm going to mess this up. I'm way outside my depth. It's been taking him forever, can I just say? Yeah, speed it up. So what he does is the company he works for shoots, I think, tachyon particles or something like that at cancer. And what's unique about this particle, he was explaining to me, is that nearly all of its energy is released at the depth that they choose it to happen. And he's like, it kills cancer. That's not in question.

That much is not even the hard part, killing cancer. I'm like, okay. that's that's not in question that much is not even the hard part killing cancer like okay and uh so like let's say that you have cancer on like the back of your lung you could go either through the front of you and then make it die in the back of your lung and barely impact the front of it and your skin and your ribs or you could like attack it from the back which seems to make more sense um but they can they can choose the depth at which this happens whereas chemo it just goes into your bloodstream and fucks up everything. Radiation, it goes through everything and out the other side.

And they can really concentrate where this happens. And the current part of it they're working on is not killing cancer. That, I'm told, is easy. It's something to do with the human body and all the complexities and figuring out where to shoot and stuff like that. But he's like a paramotor friend. and figuring out where to shoot and stuff like that. But he's like a paramotor friend. So sometimes he writes me during the day to talk about like,

hey, let's go paramotor during the solar eclipse that's coming up. And I'm like, yeah, that sounds really great. But like, am I distracting you from curing cancer? You know, like... Ah, trust me, they'll wait. They're going to go to somebody else for their cancer cure. I don't think so. It's your own tachyon particle gun, idiot. Yeah, I just...

I hope it is a gun. Every time I distract it... Mr. Johnson, don't move. I imagine a big Ghostbuster backpack with a shoulder-fired cannon. His name is... I was going to give his full name because it's funny, but I won't.

It seems like a huge mistake. But yeah, we could do that. Then we'll have all our fans reaching out for him to fix their cancer. We don't need that. Stop talking to Woody. Work on cancer. They'll all have their own two cents. Fix my cancer. Please.

Oh, man. Jesus. I want that. Oh, man. Jesus. I want that. That's rough. Anyone we need to hear from, Kyle? No. Oh, I didn't expect that. So the Power Rangers thing was just a pre-roll?

There was no mid-roll on that? Correct. Or at least that's what Shiz says. All right, Kyle, just checking on that. Usually they do. Now that you've mentioned it, I want to read one more time exactly what Shiz said, but I'm almost a thousand percent sure. I'm scrolling here.

Yeah, is this a free roll only? Yeah. Sponsors down in the link in the description below. Check those guys out. I enjoy doing this show. If you are a patron, let us know about this new audio if you are not a patron you can sign up down in the description below it's five dollars a month i think to get the uh the the show early you get it uh as soon as we have it recorded and upload

you get it um and i think for ten dollars you're getting pkn as soon that in the exact same format as soon as it's done, as soon as it's up and ready, with the video format that comes along with it. You're also getting to ask us those AMA questions that we answered quite a few of. And for $50, you get to join us once a month for a weekend hangout. One of the questions in there was actually about that. Yes, you'll get to ask us whatever you want. We usually spend

well over an hour in that Hangout. Taylor does not show up to the Hangout for some reason. I'm not really sure. And just so you know before you sign up. And yeah, you'll get to ask any questions you want of us or hang out with us. And we generally have a really relaxed

fun time with sometimes if the email gets buggered or something, it'll be like me and Woody and two or three other guys. It's been as many as like 15 or so. It's been so many. We did an Easter by accident or something last time. It was a Memorial Day weekend.

Something like that happened. We had it on holiday. No, Kyle's frozen. The two of you. Freezers. You're freezers. Not now. No, Kyle's frozen. The two of you. Freezers. You're freezers. I froze? Not now. Oh. No, Kyle's still frozen. Yeah, I like the look of him.

Is he kind of mouth-opened for you two? He looks... Yeah. Yeah, he does. Looks a little disheveled. I wonder what he was going to say. But anyway, let's do a wrap there. PKA episode 339.

Bye, guys. See ya.